The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/03/10

0:00KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Welcome to the program, everybody. Give us a call. 570-1949 is the number. Every morning on The Mikey Show, we open up those phone lines to you. And the biggest thing on people's minds this morning is the discovery of Chelsea King's body yesterday. And so that is going to be the biggest... topic on people's minds today. That's what people are going to be talking about the most today. As a community living here in San Diego, it's just sad. It's just flat out sad. And around the rest of the country, this is the type of story that really sort of seizes people. But here in San Diego, it's a strange thing that happens when it happens in your community. First of all,

3:08If you're just the average Joe, there's a tremendous amount of sadness involved with it. And if you're a parent, there is this extra element that happens with it. I can only say that now being a dad, before I was a dad, stories like this were very, very upsetting. And they just have something extra added to them when you become a dad. And I'm not even the parent of a daughter, but I imagine that if you are and you have, especially a daughter that's around Chelsea's age, it's even tougher. But we're going to open the phone lines up to you, 570-1949. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 39 years old. We also have Woodsy. He's our sports guy. And Woodsy is 34. I'd like to give you the ages of everybody here on the show so that you sort of know who you're talking to. You know who exactly is on the show. We also have Lauren O'Brien, who is a stand-up comic.

4:21And now our assistant producer here on The Mikey Show. We have Sienna, who's our news girl, newly married, 24. And we have Jay, 46, and our executive producer and one of the hardest working men in show business. You can call us, 570-1949. You can text us. Again, the text is 949mikey at gmail.com. This was the news yesterday. from Bill Gore, sheriff here in San Diego. The body was found in an area shortly or not far from where we had previously discovered a piece of evidence, a shoe. And they also, as they were talking to Sheriff Gore, were finding out that this was an area that they had a lot of interest in. It's an area that we had been searching extensively and unfortunately just now found it. due to the fact that she was in a shallow grave. This is one of those deals, too, I think, where, I don't know about you guys, but I had this, did you have this deal where you were just sort of going, maybe, I don't know how, but maybe, you know, we're going to find her. Like, she's, he's going to tell people that he had her at this house or something and that she's alive. And I was just waiting for that. I was just hoping for that, you know?

5:47Over the last few years, there's been, you know, a couple of cases like the Elizabeth Smart thing. These things that come out that are absolute miracles, you know, and they end up finding these people years later or, you know, days later. But, man, I just remember seeing the news yesterday. I texted Sienna right away and we were both like, oh, no, just oh, no. I mean, I think Sienna actually wrote me back. Oh, crap. I mean, we were bummed out and we are really upset about it and sad about it. You always hope that they're going to find him. I mean. And this just seemed like an especially sad situation. You know, she was running by herself in the middle of the day. She wasn't doing anything wrong. Usually they're not doing anything wrong, but it's just. She's a really good kid. Minding her own business. Could have happened to anyone, you know. And so anyway, Sienna, is there anything that I missed in the story? Is there any detail that I've missed in this story? I think I hit it. Well, I mean, basically, the body was found right near Lake Hodges yesterday. And it was about a half a mile from the parking lot where her car was discovered six days prior. And a shoe of hers was found in the general area, too. So, I mean, there's a bunch of signs that are like, you know, this has to be her. Whose other body would this be?

6:58In memory of her or to celebrate her life, people gathered at the St. Michael Catholic Church in Poway last night with candles. Her parents were there. I mean, everyone was just praying, saying really nice words and, you know. It's just so heartbreaking. It's so, so heartbreaking. I was praying for her family this morning and just that they get comfort. And if you are of the praying type, I would ask that you do that, too, that you just pray for their comfort because of the immense. that has got to be going on with that entire family right now with what's going on. And if you want to talk, to discuss, 570-1949. A little side note is the students at our school, Poway High School, they've been wearing orange T-shirts and hair ribbons and a bunch of orange things to honor her. Keep her memory alive. Is there a significance to that, to the orange? Weren't they changing colors every day? Today's actually purple. Today's purple. Oh, really? They said, yeah, it was organized by students on Facebook and MySpace and text messages, and they've all just been communicating, okay, what's the color? Lauren's got on a purple scarf today. Is that what that's about? Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. That's really cool. I didn't know about it, but I don't know how long they're going to do it, but however long they do it, I'll do it. I didn't have anything purple.

8:24I read about it last night. And it was really, really upsetting. You know, there was a woman, an M1, that emailed last week and told us about the story. And we talked about it on the air right when it happened. And what really got me yesterday is she has a daughter, I guess, or a son the same age. Her name is Robin. And she said, you know, it's funny because in my family, we're now waiting for college acceptance letters. We're about to do college tours. All the things that her family. should have been getting ready for and that really hit home with me and struck a chord and uh i was just really really moved um yesterday reading some of the responses and stuff i'm getting teary-eyed right now thinking about it but it's so sad it's just so sad uh and you know the obvious deal too is uh what they were uh talking about a lot last night is that this was a guy the guy that did this what's uh what's this dude's name albert um Hold on. John Gardner. Yeah, John. I don't know why I said Albert. But yeah, John. Oh, John Albert Gardner, the third. This guy had been in jail 10 years ago and had been arrested 10 years ago and was out of jail, obviously. And this happened. I heard a woman on television last night saying that for offenses like he had.

9:51You know, where what he did. She was saying that she thought that there should be a one strike rule where they are kept in prison the rest of their life. And they were going back and forth on the news and they were talking about, you know, different different aspects of it. Because there are, you know, if you are over 18 and you have sex with a girl that's under 18, you're listed as a sex offender. And this guy was saying, obviously. I don't feel that that's the type of person we're talking about here. But if it's something that has to do with violence and it's something that is a violent crime, how do you feel about that? Should there be a one-strike rule where you lock them up and they don't come out again? Or should there be a minimum of time served? Should there be that kind of deal? Because what... I think we and you've heard me say this a million times. Anger, in my opinion, is not a real emotion. Anger is something that we have that masks three very real emotions, hurt, sadness and fear. And I think that we are all three of those as a community. You hear the story of this dude being out there 10 years ago and you're immediately hurt by it.

11:17You're so saddened by it. And you're fearful of how many other guys out there are there like that. And it makes you angry. And I hope that something positive can come out of it. I hope that her, you know, once her parents go through this process of grieving and healing, that there could be new legislation that comes out of it. That this can't happen again. Or that it's something. I get behind it. I know that. Well, just an example for me is I was over at my parents' house last week or last night, sorry, and they live only two blocks from where Todd and I live. And normally I just walk home, you know, no matter what time it's close enough, I just walk home. And even last night I was like, Dad, will you take me home? You know, like I think it's going to make people a lot more aware who maybe thought they were invincible before or, you know, just never even thought about it. Lauren's a runner and has made you think about it more. Oh, yeah. I am.

12:18I hadn't heard that audio, so that made me actually kind of, I was tearing up over here. And I just, I can't help but place myself in her shoes at that age. And even now as an adult, you know, I had my boyfriend actually make sure that I got out to my car okay this morning. I don't blame you. I don't blame you. And especially in that situation, because Lauren was a runner in high school. You were a big time track runner. Yeah, and I did. exactly what she did all the time and you you don't want to think the worst of people so you like to think that you can go do that and it's just i mean to encompass anger and all those things that you said fear sadness hurt i can't help but feel all of those things and just so i'm not actually a huge praying person but last night i prayed for the same things for some comfort for her family some peace of mind some just strength Let's see. And M1, by the way, is a Mikey Show listener. So when you call in, turn your radio down. Get to the point. Don't cuss. This is M1 Jock. What's up, dude? Hey, I just wanted to talk about reform and how this Megan Laws thing is a start, but it's definitely not enough. I mean, this guy that did this completely heinous act, prior, you know, criminal, hard time for assault and rape, definitely assault.

13:45And even the psychiatrist in charge of him didn't recommend his release because he was genuinely non-remorseful. And yet he's still on the streets. And it's just mind-boggling. There needs to be some sort of tracking or something because, I mean, if you looked at the guy, he doesn't look like a cross-country running type. So what is he doing out in the middle of nowhere doing God knows what? Thank you for the call. I appreciate that, M1 Jock. One of the things that, you know, we were talking about this at home. I was talking about this with my wife, Rebecca, and our friend Amanda. And I said, you know, we just spent, I don't know what it was, like so many millions and millions and millions of dollars on some new high-speed railway in California that's going to go from Los Angeles to San Francisco. I'm like, Because they're letting people out of prison because it's overcrowded, you know, why don't we spend money on, you know, building more facilities or whatever, which I sort of felt strange about saying. Like, as I was saying it, I'm like, boy, there's something in the back of my head that's just saying that's not the solution. And then, you know, in this conversation, our friend Amanda said, really?

15:11You think it's about building more prisons? And I said, well, I said, I just I feel bad that they were that they were let that they let this guy out. And she said, what about when they're in there? She said, how about when they're in there? We spend money on not just having them lift weights and not just having them buying cigarettes at the commissary and lifting weights. How about we actually spend money on trying to genuinely. In prison, rehabilitate. You know, because Woodsy said it the other day, you know what they learn in prison? How to become better criminals. Absolutely. It's true. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how realistic this is, but the last caller saying some sort of tracking or something. I saw that movie Inglourious Bastards and they branded people forever. If we could maybe put an ankle. I mean, I know people that are on probation and stuff like that have those tracking devices. If they could have to wear it forever, not only as a marking so that maybe we could be aware. I mean, I know there's ways to mask it, but having the, you know, if there's suspicious activity from somebody. Here's the thing with the tracking device. If this guy had had a tracking device, would it have changed what he did? I don't know. I mean, it might not solve everything, but it might help if he was lurking around.

16:32For hours. That's true. If someone was looking at where he was and they saw he was just in the middle of a park nowhere where it's like he wouldn't normally hang out. And I think that you need to separate the 18-year-old guy that had sex with the 17-year-old girl. For sure. Because you have that as a registered sex offender, there are thousands upon thousands upon thousands upon thousands of them. Well, you can you actually if you get caught urinating in public, you might have to register as a sex. It's the truth. You are kidding. That's true. Wow. Yeah. And so and so there has to be a way to separate, you know, the violent criminal from that and then keep a very close eye on those people, because that is I mean, it just it's so, so sad. And we've got to do something. Yesterday, Woods brought up the greatest point when he said, when the attack happened in December at the same place by the same guy, why were there not signs put up? I think Sienna made that point. Why isn't this guy's face plastered everywhere all over that area? Because it was in the same area.

17:54Yeah, Sienna, did you say they should put up posters or something, right? Yeah, there should be signs, 100%. And not to mention, if they did have a tracking device and there were signs, you know, of this man's face that looked just like him, don't you think police would know to kind of keep an eye on where he is? 100%. Since two months before his exact face was sketched? Well... And like I said, with his face being sketched, it might deter him. Right. Not even just to protect other people, it might have deterred him from saying, know who I am. I'm kind of a marked man. Maybe I should stay away from this area. You know, if there is a shark attack, don't they put up signs that say no swimming? Yeah. Keep out of the water. And so if there is a reported assault at a park, shouldn't there be a sign that goes up that says no, no one should be allowed here. There was an attack by a man on a woman.

18:54Maybe they think if it's there, you know, like lightning doesn't hit the same place twice. I mean, I have no idea. I don't buy it. Neither do I. But I'm trying to think why they wouldn't have done that. It's just unbelievable. It's crazy. Just to give you an update, too, on where the suspect John Gardner is. He's been held in being held in solitary confinement downtown San Diego in central jail right now. And he's scheduled to be arraigned today at 2.30 p.m. Put him in general population. See what happens. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. He's got a nice, cushy, one-room suite to himself right now. Well, I think they know why. They know exactly why. Even prisoners are unanimous on the fact that this is the scum of the scum. It's funny. I think that he should be separated until he's convicted. Exactly. And the reason that I say that is because I want him alive for his trial. Yeah. Absolutely. And the details that need to be unveiled. Yeah. His mugshot gives me chills. Just absolute chills up my spine. And that's the worst kind of criminal is the one without that sense of guilt and without that sense of remorse. That's the worst kind of human being. You know what I'm saying? With just no remorse. He's smiling in his mugshot. Yeah. Is this M1 Waterworld? Yes, sir. Waterworks. Waterworks. I can't read all the words on my screen, so if I mess those up every once in a while.

20:18It's because I can't. For whatever reason, it won't print all my words on the screen. Go ahead, Waterworks. Hey, you know, it kind of touched home to me, this whole situation with Chelsea. My wife and I were just looking at a place that we were going to move into and rent. We're saving for a house in that general area where they caught him, and they found whatever, I don't want to say for sure, but what they discovered. But, you know, I looked up Megan's Law, and, you know, last night, and we have seven sex offenders right around my area. And, you know, I got a real simple solution for this. It's just the same as tagging. I deal with tagging on our, you know, public works and tagging to our buildings, you know, every weekend. And I got a real simple solution for this. You know, let the punishment fit the crime. If you had taggers like they do in Singapore, you know, you get caught, you lose a finger, eventually there's going to be one guy that loses a finger and nobody else is, you know, going to be tagging. And it's the same thing with sex offenders. You know, these guys, These guys get, you know, a slap on the wrist. He gets five years and, you know, three years of parole where he wears his GPS. Well, he just waits and lingers until his GPS is off. Yep. You know, and unfortunately, you know, my wife likes to jog at night, you know, and, you know, I got her a big 65-pound, you know, American terrier, if you want to call it, and, you know, I still don't feel safe with her at night. You know, these guys just, it's just sick, and they need to not be released. They're done, you know. They are as much a predator.

21:47as a great white shark. There's, they're just, yeah, more so. Well, you know, if somebody that fits this kind of, you know, profile that does this kind of crime, you know, to me, there is no rehabilitation. You need to put them in a cage with the family of the victims and let the, you know, survival of the fittest, you know. Vigilante justice. Exactly. You know, and unfortunately, nowadays in the society, you know, Sue Happy, that's why you've got so many, you know, riffrapper punks, if you will. and around is, you know, nobody's afraid of dealing with somebody that's a decent guy that's tougher than them. M1 Pro Tech, thank you for the call, by the way, Waterworks. M1 Pro Tech texted in, said a tracking bracelet probably would have prevented this because it would have prevented him from living at a house he wasn't registered to. Yeah, that's true, for six months. And being too close to a school illegally because, you know, he's registered to an address in Lake Elsinore and he was living with his mother in Rancho Bernardo.

22:48And so maybe it would have, you know, the tracking. But there would have to be like the tracking device. Is somebody monitoring that thing? Like, what's the deal with that? Well, it should be certain areas like parks, schools, churches, places like that, where if that person is lingering around for too long, there's got to be some sort of just alert. Mm hmm. It's true. Yeah, yeah, yes. You can call in about this if you'd like. It's one of the biggest things going on out there, and so it is the biggest thing going on out there here in San Diego. And we're also going to be going to Woodsy next for a little sports update, find out about the guy. Oh, this is a crazy story. So the guy that won the gold for the Canadian hockey team, he's misplaced something that's sort of important. I think that's a pretty good way to put it, and we'll tell you what it is next. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9.

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28:15This report is brought to you by Carfax. Are you in the market for a used car? Well, you want to steer clear of rebuilt wrecks. A Carfax report can help you. Just say, show me the Carfax. You can always go to Carfax.com. Coming through Escondido this morning, a little bit of congestion on that 15 southbound between Valley Parkway and 9th Avenue. Also, Vista is tied up on the 78 eastbound between Escondido Avenue and San Marcos Boulevard. We're seeing speeds in the lower 30s. This report brought to you by USAA. Save up to $600 on free checking or keep watching. bank find ways to take it switch to usaa bank open a free account at usaa banking.com i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 now back to the mikey show on fm 94.9 as a group and uh it occurred to me to bring the conversation that we were having as a group onto the air um and the conversation is where you know we had a uh we do a lot of planning here on the show And so I have a lot, you know, we have plans today of what to do. Most of it, because it's what we're hired to do, is comedic. Now, I said, do we do that? You know, on a day like today, do we do that? And, you know, Woodsy was saying, yeah, you know, maybe the deal is, is that this is a distraction. That it's a, that the humor is a distraction. And even Jay said.

30:03You know, Jay's got four kids and, you know, he's got daughters. And, you know, Jay said, I can't do this all morning. He said, I just can't do it all morning. I mean, he was almost crying in there when we were talking about it the first time. It's too much. And said, you know, he didn't want to. I understand that. I mean, I totally understand that. And so I said, why don't we ask? Why don't you just ask listeners? Yeah. What do you think? Would you like us to switch gears? Because if you'd like us to switch gears, we can. And we can definitely provide the distraction. We had a lot of stuff planned today. It's really cathartic to talk about things sometimes. But we don't have any new information. But like you said, if you want to talk about how you're feeling, I'm down with that. I'm totally down with that. You know, I know I talked to my family last night and I talked to my wife and, you know, we cried about it and were upset about it. And I talked to a couple of listeners last night on Facebook about it, too. And the consensus is I don't know that, you know, I've been through stories like this before. I mean, I'm from Texas. This stuff happens all the time. I don't know that I've ever felt more connected to a story like this. Yeah. And I think it's because of what we do for a living.

31:31knowing that I had to talk about it today was very tough last night. That you didn't have a choice. See, because some personalities are the type of personalities where when stuff like that happens, you just don't want to talk about it. And that's somebody's right. You know, you can't deny your feelings. Being back at home, if this had happened and I was still doing what I used to do, my wife and I would have watched it on the news. She would have looked at me. I would have looked at her and said, that's really, really awful. And we would have talked about it and prayed about it. But you know what? That would have been it. Because you don't want to go there. You don't want to feel it. You don't want to hurt. And that's, hey, listen. Essentially, I want M1 Nation to know that I want this to feel, this isn't just about five people. It's not about Mikey and Woodsy and Lauren and CNNJ. That's not what this, I mean, it's about all of us. Community. It's a community. That's what M1 Nation is. And so I want you to call and say, what would you prefer? 570-1949. Because I certainly don't want to be insensitive. And I also don't want to, like Woodsy said, we don't have anything new to tell you. We don't have anything new to tell you. We will mourn with you if that's what you prefer. But there's not new information. And it seemed appropriate for me to move on and to provide a distraction.

33:00But I don't really know where you are as a listener. And we know that there's a lot of you listening. And so 570-1949 or 949mikey at gmail.com if you'd like to text us. That is the text number if you want to send a text about it. Let's see. We have one phone call on it. Or we did. Hello? Are you still there? Hello? Who's this? Hi, my name is Gloria. Hi, Gloria. I have several comments to make about, obviously, what's just going on about the key story. And one of them is, I live in a neighborhood here in San Diego, a quiet neighborhood, and we've had a pervert up there for over a year and a half that exposes himself and does other god-awful things.

33:58There's nothing posted in our neighborhood for us single women that go running alone, number one. Number two, our law enforcement has dropped the ball again. This was so unnecessary. And number three, I was a victim as a teenager and was attacked with someone that was a repeat offender. And it just goes on and on and on. It never stops, and it's got to stop. I don't think that there is. And I appreciate the phone call. Thank you very much for calling. I don't think that there is a person out there that would not be down with the absolute strictest laws available. You know, Mikey, I've always been imagine that I've always been a little bit softer towards the nonviolent criminal, the nonviolent criminal. Let me stress that nonviolent criminal. This is where I am so. When it comes to animals and kids, I am so far right wing, it's scary. Yeah, me too. But the guy that made a mistake and did his time and learned from his mistake, I don't have a problem with that guy. The nonviolent. The guy that, let's say he was 18 and he stole a car, okay? He goes and he does his time. I'm cool with that guy. If he rehabilitates himself, I'm cool with him. I don't look at him as an ex-con or a felon or a criminal.

35:26I'm okay with them. I have no patience for people that mess with kids or animals. And that's it. I draw the line there. I have no sympathy and no patience for it. None. Yeah. 570-1949-M1-Dwayne, are you there? Yeah. Go ahead. My name is Dwayne. I just want to talk about, I think we should keep our thoughts in place, of course, a little bit longer. Yeah, just like the previous caller, we need to have stricter laws for these guys, these sexual predators. He should not have been out. He should have been in prison, like I said, for 30 years. He was on a five, I guess, a six-year sentence. They let him out at five years, and obviously that was wrong, especially with the psych evaluation they had on him. Yeah, I agree with you, and I think that's the sentiment of everybody this morning. I think people are just going, how did that happen? How did it happen? How did somebody like that get out there? The terrible part and the scary part about it is, is that that's one person that we know of. One. You know? One dude. It's one person that we know of. You want to scare yourself to death? Go on that website and look at all the people that, you know, surround you. Jamie and I did it in our, my wife Jamie and I did it in our neighborhood in Texas. Dude's right down the street. Yeah. You know, for messing with a 13-year-old boy. And there's his picture, there's his address.

36:53And my wife is a runner and she'll go running in the neighborhood. And I'm like, it just it makes me nauseous to think if something ever happened to her. Absolutely. You know, absolutely. And, you know, this strikes a chord with guys because, you know, when you're married, you have a girlfriend. That's why I was asking Lauren about it the other day, because Lauren's a runner. And just like kind of where her boyfriend Matt is with it, you know, because my wife likes to run. And I, you know. I've always been now I have massive safety issues. You do. I have massive safety issues. A because I was a victim of sexual abuse when I was a kid. I talk about it openly on the air when I give my testimony on Fridays. And so I have massive safety issues. And so when it comes to my kids and, you know, my wife and all that, you know, guys get.

37:53Very like we instantly want to protect and like hold on to our lady and, you know, just follow her around and make sure she's OK. I mean, I don't want to be weird, but I practically want to be driving alongside of my wife as she's jogging. You know, I mean, and it's just like somebody else is walking the opposite direction. I'm practically laying on the horn. Don't you bother her. You know what I mean? And so, Lauren. How does your boyfriend feel about it? Did he say to you anything like, babe, you know, I don't want you running. Did he do any of that or say any of that? Well, a lot of times we actually run together. And any time that I do run, unfortunately, I have to go when it's light out and I go where there's plenty of people around. But he's real like, you know, he grew up in the South and with, well, kind of the South, Northern Virginia. And not a whole lot of. crime where he was and so we don't he doesn't lock the door and stuff like that and last night he just left for a minute to go out and get something from the store and he was like neurotic about locking the door when he left and when he came back and this morning making sure i got to my car okay and it's a shame that something like that has to happen to put you in that mindset and hopefully it'll be a lasting impression that we all have if you grew up in san diego you know tell me how you feel about this one

39:22We were talking to some friends of ours that are from Kentucky. And they said that in Kentucky, you leave your keys in the ignition in your car with the doors of the car unlocked. And your front door, you leave that open. And in the summertime, you actually leave the door open. Not ajar. Open with the screen door. With the screen in front of it. And I go, are you kidding me? And she goes, yeah. And she goes, and if you don't? She goes, you're a jerk. Yeah, you're a weirdo. Yeah. She goes, they're like, you know, what's the matter? You don't trust me? Yeah, you don't trust me? And like those thoughts to me, and I'm sure to you, Sienna, growing up here in San Diego, that you're like, oh my gosh, you can't do that. You can't leave your keys in your car in the ignition. No way. I even, I mean, I grew up in one of the best, nicest, safest neighborhoods and stuff goes wrong all the time. Yeah. People get robbed all the time. I wish we could do that. So the question that I put out there to listeners is, do we stay on the topic or do we move on? And so let's take a couple of phone calls. M1 Dan. Yeah, I just want to say, you know, I grew up with my dad being a homicide detective and the amount of murders that are in the North County is just staggering. And it's important for the community to understand that it's also our responsibility.

40:48to teach our kids and to teach each other and be aware for each other. You know, we kind of have to watch out for ourselves. We can't sit here and wait for the system to do it, because as we see, the system fails constantly. We all have to be aware, and that's why it's important to talk about this stuff. I mean, like I said, the number of murders that we don't hear about are just ungodly. I mean, we hear about these horrific ones, but we don't hear about the random ones every now and then. And constantly. So it's just, you know, it's important for us all to realize that we have to watch out for ourselves and each other. Thank you, Dan. M1JR. What's going on, guys? Not too much. I don't know. It's just, it's weird for me because I never, like, before this incident, I never really, like, I would turn on the news and I'd see something like this and it never really hit. But my wife's actually due in March and it's going to be a little girl. And so I think the whole pregnancy and everything with this story just kind of set in. And I grew up in the Midwest. You know, my parents, you know, rode our bikes to school. You know, go out, hang out with our friends afterwards. Their parents don't really have to pay attention to it. But ever since I've been here, you know, I've kind of been exposed to some different things. And I don't know. I think the one thing that I've learned from it is just that I think it's best to, you know, not forget it, have it be in the back of your mind and learn from it. But, you know, you can't really get over it until you move on. You've got to realize, you know, the sun's going to come up tomorrow. You know, as horrible as it is today, you know, the sun is going to rise tomorrow.

42:15So you've got to try and move on. Thank you. I appreciate it. M1 Kelly. Hi, guys. Hi. Good morning. I have so much to say about this. I actually just signed up for a human trafficking program at The Rock and happened to be at school last night talking about this whole situation. And a lot of the students, all of us, you know, in our 20s and 30s, concerned citizens, some don't live in Poway. Some are wondering, why isn't Poway making a big deal about this? Why there had been other incidences where there was one student, excuse me, who is in Poway and talked about other things that have happened that they don't talk about anything, but under the, you know, the carpet and, you know, had it been a little bit more heightened, maybe this wouldn't have happened, you know? I used to live in the Central Valley. One girl was hit on in one area, and the cops were there all the time to, like, prevent it. And now this happens and it's like, well, it's not necessarily the cops fault, but what about the community? Why is anybody making a big deal about it? Yeah. And, um, yeah, I appreciate the phone call, Kelly. You know, one of the things I want to say about that is that there may be a lot of people that are listening right now that are from that community of Poway or from the areas around Poway, like Penasquitos and those areas that heard that right now and instantly got angry because they went, how dare you say.

43:41Why do we not? What they may have heard was, how dare you say we don't care about this. That's what they may have heard with that call. And I don't think that that's what she intended. I don't think she intended it to sound like, you know, oh, you don't you know, why aren't you doing? First of all, it isn't the community. I think it's it's more of the people that are in the city government. Maybe it's a city government thing. But really, I think it's a state of California thing. I think as the state of California, there need to be changes. There need to be changes. 570-1949. Let's see. This is M1 Sadie. Is that right? Is this M1 Sadie? It's M1 Katie Holmes. M1 Katie Holmes.

44:45How's Tom? Yes. Suri? And Suri. That's right. Go ahead. Hi, Mikey. Hi. I want to thank you guys for, obviously, everyone's talking about this, but just spending a little time talking about it. My husband and I are from San Diego. Our kids are fourth generation San Diegans, and it's hitting pretty hard. It's hitting pretty hard. We don't know Chelsea. We don't know the King family, but it doesn't matter, does it? Everybody's pretty affected by this. We have a 14-year-old son who goes to Helix, and I can't even imagine what the King family is going through right now. It's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking. I think that as parents, we just need to be aware of our surroundings, our children's surroundings, and focus on doing right by our kids and raising our children. I think it goes down to...

45:43to that level when you think, what are we going to do as a community, as a government with these people? Well, these people are broken and they were broken somehow, you know? And so I think we need to take care of our own kids and raise them well. You know what? You actually hit on a really, really good point. You actually hit on a really, really good point. And it's a point I brought up to my wife in that these people, part of it is, It's who they were born. They were born a certain way. They were born with a disposition that was a certain way. But there's no doubt in my mind, without even knowing anything about this guy, there's no doubt in my mind that there was just awful stuff happening. And that concerns me as a human being. That concerns me. I wish that we could...

46:45It may very well be that if this guy were raised in a healthy environment, in an environment that was loving and kind, that he would have still grown up to be the same guy. But I don't think so. Because with every one of these guys, and I mean every one of them, every single one of them, when you look at their history, there is always some sort of abuse. That's an area, you just bring up such a good point with that, in that there's also not programs in prisons that are rehabilitating people. I don't know that there's really programs that are getting, and can we get into kids' lives if they're not our kids and help them? There's so many abusive homes all around San Diego that we can't do anything about it. First of all, we don't even know where they are.

47:46And if we did, would we be able to go in there and go, can we heal you? Can we heal you? Can we heal your kid? Can we teach you how to not do that? I don't know. I mean, I just I don't know what the answer to that is. And we talked about it for a while. And I just don't know what the answer to that is. Like they do have. I mean, that's part of what social workers are doing in school systems. And then a lot of the school systems are with children's hospitals and have. therapy programs and stuff in hopes of catching that kind of stuff early if they can and doing as much as they can. But I'm sure we can't reach out to every case. Yeah, it's just impossible. It's just impossible. M1 Dune? M1 Dune, are you there? It's actually M1 Dune Princess. Hi. Hi. I just wanted to let you know that you guys are on the right track as far as monitoring bracelets. I personally, unfortunately, have a brother. who is considered a sex offender because he committed statutory rape. He was 21 and the girl was 15, and he's on probation, and he wears one of those bracelets, and they monitor where he is. They know where he is. He can only live in certain areas, and he's constantly having to move because of that fact. I think it's a little unfair for him, like you guys talked about earlier, that he gets lumped in with everyone else. He made a mistake.

49:16He was just a stupid kid with a, you know, young girl. But it wasn't a violent sexual act against a young girl. And I think you guys are on the right track as far as having them wear some kind of monitoring system. Because there is someone watching that, you know, there is someone monitoring his bracelet. Yeah. And there needs to be a differentiation between the violent criminal, and that's what this guy was. This guy was a violent criminal. I totally agree. It's such a fine line. In that situation, the situation you just mentioned, it kind of skeeves me out to think about a 21-year-old and a 15-year-old. But then again, you know, there's a difference. You know, Sienna is a, what, 14-year difference? Yeah, 13. 13-year difference. And with her husband, who is madly in love with her and she's madly in love with him. When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend who was in college. He was older, 21. And so it's the difference between, you know, and listen, as I was watching on TV last night, you know, there was a guy that was a, he's a public, you know, he's a politician. I don't remember who it was, but he said that is a, he drew a distinction. That wasn't violent. It wasn't a, you know, it was a mistake and it was stupid and it was, you know.

50:43It was stupid. Consensual. Consensual. Right. And wrong. And wrong. And wrong. I think. But it wasn't this violent. Predatory. Predatory. Malice. Yes. You know. Malice. I mean, a 21-year-old, by all intents and purposes, could fall in love with a 15 or 16-year-old girl. It's a five-year difference, right? Six. Six-year difference. And you know what? I have about a five-year difference in my marriage. Sienna's got a 14-year difference in hers. Six in mine. Six in yours. And it's just a matter of timing, I guess. And, man, you never hope it works out that way. But if it does, that's a whole different ballgame to me. The violent aspect of it, I think, is what makes a lot of people really hurt. 5-7-0. 570-1949 is our number. And all of the phone calls that are coming in are people that sort of want to vent about it. And so if you want to vent about it, let's vent about it. 570-1949. We can certainly do that. Give us a call right now. And you have no idea why that isn't working. I'll figure it out. We'll be back. 570-1949.

52:22More of the monkey show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. What are you doing in here? Reading. The book's upside down, honey. Ah, book. So why isn't the TV on? If I watch my favorite sitcom, I miss my favorite history show. If I watch my history show, then I miss the ball game. So you can see my conundrum, my conundrum. So you'd rather just sit here, fake reading. I'm not, I'm conflicted, Lisa. It's how any TV fan would feel. Steve, with AT&T U-verse, we can record four shows at once on a single DVR. It's one of the reasons we ditched cable. So... So it lets you record four shows at once. Which means... What? Oh, uh... I got nothing. It means you can record your favorite shows while I watch mine. Give me the remote. Fine. I'll read my book. Sure. AT&T U-verse TV lets you record up to four shows at once on a single DVR. And now get $300 back via promotion cards with qualifying services. Call 1-800-ATT-4U, visit an AT&T store, or click att.com slash tv now. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Call or go to uverse.att.com to see if you qualify. Reward redemption required. Offerings 320-2010. For details, visit att.com slash tv details. The Internet. The New Frontier.

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55:51Navyfederal.org, equal housing lender. Quaker State, so durable that it still passes critical standards for brand new oil, even when it's ready to be replaced. Quaker State, real durable oil. This report is brought to you by Toyota Motor Sales USA. Your Toyota dealer is committed to your satisfaction. They've extended their hours and added associates to take care of your service needs, answer any questions, and address your concerns. On the 5 southbound Balboa Avenue, watch out. Big pothole here. A car hit a cement block in the middle of lanes. Car's on the right shoulder, but then there's this huge pothole in the number two and three lanes. No injuries, though. Just be careful as you travel through there. On the 15 southbound between Valley Parkway and 9th Avenue, we're seeing some slowing delays. They're in the upper 40s right now. This report brought to you by Odor Eaters Insoles. Sometimes traffic is so slow you can walk faster. Get Odor Eaters Insoles and go. They cushion your step, absorb sweat to keep your feet fresh and dry all day. Odor Eaters, ultra-comfortable. and ultra-durable insoles. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Getting lots of phone calls. Story broke yesterday afternoon. Very sad news that Chelsea King, 17-year-old girl from Poway who was missing, they believe that the body that they found yesterday at Lake Hodges is, in fact, Chelsea King. And it's a real sad story.

57:53We were kind of putting out there this morning. What would you like to do? Would you like to sort of discuss it? Would you would you feel better if we just didn't and we just moved on? But, you know, I think that the way that people are feeling this morning and because it's such a big story here in San Diego, I think it's what people what's on people's minds. And I think it's what people do want to talk about. And that's certainly what all the phone calls that are coming in are saying. Mikey, I'm in the Navy, and when I go on deployment, and it's for six months at a time, I do live in fear that my wife will be harmed. That's M1 comfort. I can understand it. I can understand it. Mikey, can't understand why we let these rapists and thieves keep us as a nation in fear. They are the ones who should fear us. Interesting point. That's a great point. You can text us if you'd like, 949mikey at gmail.com. You can also call us to call us the way that you do it, 570-1949. Mikey, I do not want to be insensitive. This is a topic that needs to be out there, and there should be more awareness among us. But let's move on. Not exactly the mood people might want to start their workday with. Love the show. You guys do a great job. I understand that.

59:20I totally understand that. And I can completely relate to the sentiment. I guess the deal is we are a community. You know, we're not just individuals. We're a community. And I think that with stories like this, as a community, that's what we're feeling today. It's a bond. Yeah. You know, I mean, I feel I feel better talking about it than not. I think that's why the cases gain so much national attention, too, because of the outpouring of the community to help with the search, help with the. I mean, they had to turn away like 700 volunteers on Saturday. Yeah. Yeah. Really? That's a lot of volunteers. That's incredible. I love how I love how people and communities band together.

1:00:22In situations like this, it's always really inspiring and it lets you know that there are really good people out there. And there are people that care and there are people that want change. Obviously, Mike, hindsight is 20-20. It really is. And looking back at something that happened, at this point in the game, it doesn't make a lot of sense to point fingers at... Certain people, other than the accused, once he's convicted, right? But the way I feel, I'm just really emotional and I'm grieving for her family. It doesn't make sense to me to say, well, we could have, would have, should have. Because there's always a situation where you could have done something differently and it's going to have a different result. In this case, my heart bleeds for Mr. and Mrs. King. It just really does. I think it's important to look forward, though, into what can be done. But there is no use in saying, well, maybe if we would have done this, such and such. I mean, I guess you're right in that regard. Nothing is going to bring her back. That's, I think, the key. And I think what Woodsy's trying to say is, hey, listen, what's the point in the blame game? But moving forward, what can we do? What can we do differently the next time?

1:01:46Going through things I've gone through in my life, it's the same thing. What can I do better the next time? Just like for anything any of us in this room have ever been through, that was a hardship on us or a hardship on our families. Man, what could I have done different? Mikey, you were telling me something that you do when you think about consequences. And you weigh the consequences of your actions every single time. With everything. With everything. That's that's a lesson we can all learn. And so this is a consequence. What can we do better next moving forward? I've always said it's not necessarily about why this it's about what next. Right. It's a great point. And I love that phrase. I'm on Troy. You there? Yeah, I'm here. You were saying that a lot of this has to do with personnel, right? You know, I. I got home late last night from work and I turned on the TV and on one channel I saw the whole community of Poway doing a candlelight service, which, you know, I've certainly never seen a memorial or a response like that to impressive. And then, you know, and then I turned to the next channel and there was a show on PBS and it was in San Diego and about the prisons in San Diego. And it talked about the California budget crisis and the funding to hold, you know, the enough prison. I had several interviews of...

1:03:19of senior citizens, of long sentences, five to life, have cancer, they can hardly walk, get out of bed, guys that have gotten college degrees while they've been in, you know, guys that are least likely of any demographic in the entire United States to commit a crime again of ages over 55. So what do you think is the solution, Troy? Well, you know, I'm not a politician. I don't know an answer, but I feel that they're, you know, my question is, is there an opportunity to look at the situation like this? And like you said, Will there be some movement and some review into system to integrate or put funding towards genuine personnel of genuinely reviewing and continually reviewing the people that are in prisons? And their cases. Yeah. I get it. M1 Clark is on the line and says that he's got something to say right along those lines. Right, Clark? Yeah. First off, I mean, going back to what the girl said earlier with her brother having wearing one of those bracelets.

1:04:29I mean, those things are fine and dandy to help us find the predator after he's committed the crime, but there's no one monitoring those things 24-7. And then, personally, I think, you know, right now we're all in an uproar and everything, something needs to be done, something needs to be done, but the reality is nothing's going to be done. I mean, we got the Westerfield thing, the Crow, you know, the Bo. All these missing girls and what happened? Nothing. Nothing. In a year, we'll be sitting in the same place. And my personal feeling is if you commit a sexual assault against an underage person, woman or man, male or female, then you do life in prison. Because the reality is that all these sex offenders recommit the offense again and again and again. So, you know, if it's out there and that's what you're going to be dealing with, then you know the consequences, like you said. Mikey, that you look at what your consequences are. And if they don't, then so be it. They can do the 25 to life. M1 Gail is on the line and has a pretty drastic solution. Right, Gail? Yes, I do. I believe that if someone's going to commit a sexual crime, depending upon the severity of it, I believe that they should be castrated.

1:05:55too severe, maybe one. Then, if it's killing somebody like this, just take them both off. Wow. Now, what happens if that person later becomes shown not guilty? I mean, that's a little bit extreme. Yeah, it is. They have to be proven without a doubt guilty. It happens. That's a problem. The problem is that we're seeing this all the time. Lately in the news we've been seeing people that have been released from prison because a couple of years later DNA evidence is discovered that proves that they didn't do it. Gail, how terrible would we feel as a society if we go as far as to castrate a human being that's innocent? And I understand what you're saying. I understand the frustration. I understand the hurt, the sadness, the fear, the anger. And trust me, I think we're all feeling it. Would that be a would that be? I think what she's saying, too, there's a there's a flip side of that coin. And the flip side of that coin is that maybe that's a deterrent. Maybe that's a deterrent. You know what, though? Here's what maybe it is. But, you know, as I'm thinking about it, you know, what's he saying?

1:07:06This stuff happens in Texas all the time. Dude, Texas executes people like it's like a death factory. It's like they execute people all the time. And you're right. It happens. It happens. And so really, is that the solution? You know, I mean, I know that it may sort of satiate our desire for justice and retribution. And it won't stop. It's more than just the sexual act. It won't stop those inner demons and the urges within. It might not give a tool to do so, but they'll find other ways. That's a good word. M1 Dallas makes an interesting point. Dallas, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. You spent six years in prison? No, no, no, no. I'm saying when the suspect committed his first act, It was he lured the girl in and it was a nonviolent act. No, no, it wasn't. It wasn't a nonviolent act. It was violent. He beat her up. Oh, he did beat her up. Yeah, he did. In my opinion, I think the six years in prison only made him more violent. Oh, yeah. Obviously, now we have a murder instead of just a beating up thing. Yeah. And that's what I was saying.

1:08:27What about if we did something that focused on those prisons and the actual rehabilitation that's taking place in those prisons? And could there be anything that you do in those actual prisons that kind of changes? I'm all about reform and rehabilitation and giving someone a second chance if it's proven that it can be successful. I don't know what the answer to proving that it's successful. Oh, man. 570-1949 is our number if you would like to give us a call. Text message in. You can do that too. Let's see. Going through these on the fly because these things are coming in so fast. This text message says, California plays patty cake with pedophiles and it gets kids killed. This has been a ticking time bomb for years and they are beginning to blow up. I wonder if there's any truth to that. Text us. Text us 949mikey at gmail.com or call us 570-1949-M1. Cody is on the line. Hi, Cody. Hey. What's going on? Well, I just want to say that I think we need to start taking a look at our criminal justice system standpoint that the people of California must have to say about this, sort of the products say about this. I think so sorry that these people are being released because the state of California just has no money to keep them in.

1:10:03Yeah, I agree. In order to do this, I think we need to take a really big look at privatized prisons and see if... Privatized prisons meaning, what does that mean? Publicly funded prisons? Non-government funded. Non-government funded? Non-government funded. Who would fund a prison? I say it's something like, I think someone says, I believe we should tax these guys also. And that will help fund to keep them in prison. That we tax what, guys? To tax these guys that are being caught. Like if they had to repay their stay there after they were released or something like that? Basically, they're paying themselves to be there, or at least as much as they can. Yeah. And I think the state of California can contract out to these private entities that will help keep these people in prison and more of a stance of punishment rather than rehabilitation.

1:11:06If I'm 18 years old, this case has, and I used to be a cross-country runner, and this case has really gone to me. And although I don't believe in the death penalty, I don't think that's deterrence. I do think something like a privatized prison will be. Yep. I believe it will help save California money in the long run to keep these guys off our streets. Thanks for the call. Lauren? Well, I saw a special that a large percentage of people that are in jail right now are actually for drug-related crimes. And some of the people that were interviewed said they actually enjoy being in jail better than being on the street. Yeah. And it's a warm bed. It's three meals a day. Three meals a day. It's off the street. Cable TV. Yeah, so I don't think it should feel like, I don't know. I don't know how cruel you can be, but there has to be some sacrifices that are put in place for these prisoners and rehabilitation, most importantly. I agree with that. I agree with that. But the rehabilitation part is important. M1 Joe. Hi. Hi. I've been listening to your show this morning. I hear a lot of talk about what needs to be done in the system, what should be done with the criminals. I think one other thing that needs to be mentioned to your audience is...

1:12:31Don't put yourself in the situation where you're going to become a victim. Don't run alone. Don't swim alone. Don't hike alone. Stuff like that. I think that needs to be said. But we can't live in complete fear. Yeah, we can. I'm not saying you live in fear. Yeah, I'm sorry. You know what? I'm afraid that we... There's a book that I think was... Somebody loaned it to my wife, and it's called like the... Oh, man. My wife will know the name of it. But it's kind of about that. I mean... We can't. OK, so you're saying we can't live in fear. And I like that because I don't want to live in fear. I don't think anybody wants to live in fear. But I think that we also can't live in a big glass bubble and go, I'll be OK. I'll be OK. I don't think we can do that either. You know, I think you know what I think is the best way to phrase it. I think that we take.

1:13:35as reasonable precautions as we can. I think that that's appropriate. We take as reasonable precautions as we can. What if in someone like, and I hate to theorize what may have been going through Chelsea's head, but what if in her mind it was 2 o'clock in the afternoon, it was broad daylight, there's plenty of people on the trail. It said she left her iPod in the car, so maybe that was a precaution she took. so that she didn't have her headphones on. I mean, I take those precautions, and you wouldn't worry so much about a man going and running on his own because you think physically they'd be able to defend themselves better. And just, you know, from a standpoint of a woman, it does, you know, it stinks to have to think, well, because I'm physically weaker, I can't do certain things that I would like to enjoy doing, and it's not always convenient to find somebody to run with. You know, I mean, unfortunately, you do have to think about those things. Like I was talking to my boyfriend Matt last night. There's never, I've gone on several trips alone, hikes alone, running for years on my own. And there's never a time in the back of your head that you don't think about that. I guess this is what it makes me think of. It's like, okay, if I get in a car, I'm going to take the most reasonable precautions that I possibly can. Meaning I'm going to put on a seatbelt. Now, do I think that I also need to...

1:15:04Put on a Hans device and a helmet and put a roll cage on the car. Is that maybe overdoing it a little bit? Probably. Probably overdoing it a little bit. But I do think that I want to take as many precautions as I possibly can without being ridiculous. Without being inappropriate. And I do think that putting a roll bar on my car, soldering in a roll bar or welding in a roll bar. And wearing a helmet on the way to work and, you know, putting on a Hans device and wrapping myself in bubble wrap. I think that's going a little bit far. But I also go, is it too far to say run with someone? Is that too far? Like, is that ridiculous and inappropriate? It's not ridiculous, but it's not always convenient. I know it isn't. And like I said, in the back of your head, if you want to think. Like, I need to now be debilitated. What about wearing a seatbelt? That's not always convenient. It doesn't feel very good. It's, you know, my brother says this. My brother says it's a seatbelt. He goes, it's so uncomfortable, man. It's so like, and I'm like, dude. Got to do it. Yeah. Got to do it. And I think it's coming to that now, too, is obviously these things have happened enough that maybe we should look at it like a seatbelt and go to the gym.

1:16:29Thank you. You know, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. That's got to drive you nuts, right, Lauren? Because you're a runner. And I understand that. But it's also, why take a risk if you know that there's something bad that can come out of it? Or at least, how about this? Okay, I understand. How about this? Let's say, Lauren, that your boyfriend Matt says to you, okay, but at least run in the daytime and run nowhere where somebody can hide. Meaning that you're not running on rural streets. You're running on urban streets. There's always people around. Or bring a whistle. Or bring pepper spray. Or bring something. Don't ever be just on your own thinking you can be fine. And you'll be able to defend off anyone. Because no matter who you are or how strong you are, there's always someone that's going to be stronger. Bigger and stronger. But how would you feel about that? Well, I now do take those precautions on my own. And it's not always about...

1:17:30Sometimes even in a well-lit area. I mean, we saw something back in Escondido about a year ago. A woman in a Toys R Us parking lot, you know, in broad daylight. She was stabbed. So it's not, I mean, you can take every precaution. It doesn't always prevent it. But, you know, I try to take pepper spray with me. Like, for instance, I was in Australia and there was a trail that I wanted to go on. And it crossed my mind, well, maybe not the best idea. But at the same time, I was in a new country and wanted to see an area. So I went, brought pepper spray with me. I ran into a bull, which was... You ran into a bull? Yeah. An actual bull? I thought you were talking Scotty Pippen for a second. An actual bull, an animal who was just tied to a post on a rope. And I thought, huh, I should turn around now. Wow. But the pepper spray wouldn't have probably done anything. So I don't know. I mean, it's just... Yeah, I guess take what you think are necessary precautions, but it's going to be different for every person. But maybe a buddy system could be like a seatbelt and maybe that is something. I don't know. I think so. I think so. It's now I mean, we know it's a risk now. So I take that risk. Yeah, I mean, oh, man. And I listen, I want to hear from people that love to run and people that love to, you know, because Lauren, you bring up an interesting point, like the lady.

1:18:55that was attacked in the parking lot. Okay, I totally understand that. But I think that being attacked in the parking lot like that is one of those random, whereas this is a more, you're just hearing about these things too often, you know? Well, I've been on the trails before, actually, that Chelsea was on. And personally, even as a 29-year-old woman, I wouldn't. have done them alone even in broad daylight but this was her hometown you know she had a sense of security and it's a shame that that has now been breached for everybody but maybe it is one of those things where it has to open up eyes to some people what would what would a community say if there was a law against running alone no you cannot never never never happen

1:19:59Because you have to say, and the reason that you do, the reason that you would say no to that is because you would say, we can't do that because that infringes on a person's personal choice. Doesn't wearing a helmet on a motorcycle do that as well? Doesn't that infringe on a person's personal choice and safety? Yeah, but I think there's been enough proven scientific reasoning to show that that actually prevents death, imminent death. you know, from a head injury. And also, I think it has to do a lot with insurance companies more than anything. So is there no, I guess there's a helmet law here? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. See, in Texas, don't have to. You can ride a motorcycle without a helmet. Nothing skeeves you out more than to see three dudes driving down the highway at 110 with no helmet on. It makes my skin crawl every time. Sure. I'm feeling the internal need to move on. Yeah, me too. Me too. Hour and a half. Yeah, me too. I mean, it's draining. It's exhausting. It's emotional. It's tragic. It's tragic. And, you know, obviously my and our prayers and hearts are with that family. Yeah. And, you know, her extended family. And she's got brothers and sisters, all that. It's just brutal. It's brutal. Her friends. It's unimaginable. It's something that. What it is. It's something those.

1:21:26her friends and family should never have to go through. It's absolutely senseless and ridiculous, and it breaks my heart. We do have a kind of uplifting story. Do we? It is something really cool that I saw last night with Roger Ebert. Roger Ebert had cancer, and they had to remove a portion of his jaw, and he wasn't able to talk, and he is now through the help. of a new computer system that was come up with by a Scottish company, and it's pretty cool, and we'll tell you about it next. The show on FM 94.9. Looking for quality auto parts for your vehicle? Shop Craig and O'Reilly Auto Parts. You'll find we have convenient locations, thousands of brand-name parts in stock, extended store hours, everyday low prices, and well-trained professional parts people to help you keep your vehicle running right. We think you'll agree that Cragen O'Reilly is the auto parts store with a whole lot more. Come see for yourself at your neighborhood Cragen O'Reilly auto parts store. Hurry into your local Cragen O'Reilly auto parts store where you'll find all trade and power built brand tools at 50% off the regular price. Screwdrivers, socket sets, jack stands, creepers, and more. Now 50% off at Cragen O'Reilly auto parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR.

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1:29:34Not the call until the tide pushes high, which will help the shape over there. But reef breaks, definitely looking pretty fun. Hopefully the wind will stay down. The wind's supposed to get a little bit nastier today. I'll have more on that for you later this afternoon. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to surf, check out one of South Coast Surfshops, five locations, or online at southcoast.com. The surf report was brought to you by Kwayak, Yerba, Matei. and can only be here three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. I like what I'm hearing. More of the Mikey Show. Calm down. I got a fever. What? And the only prescription is more. More of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. I'm just going to talk to this one. I'm just going to say this to the people, not so much the people in the audience, the people sitting in my mind. A lot of text messages and phone calls coming in about a rather weird

1:31:56Part of this story. And it's on NBC739. Excuse me. It's on NBCSanDiego.com. And if you go to NBCSanDiego.com, there's a section right up at the top called Just In. And it's talking about how there has been some vandalism to the home of this guy's mother where he was living. And you see that, Sienna? It's on her garage. Her garage door. And it's vandalism. It says, Chelsea's blood is on you. Move out. Wow. And, you know. 50-50 again? Well, here's the deal, man. If I do something, I don't know that that is something that should be taken out on my mother. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah.

1:33:11For sure. My mother's already probably done. Done. Done. Mentally. Yep. You know what I mean? So I think that, well, first of all, there's a little bit of irony in protesting a crime with a crime. Right. So, you know, I would have to say the person that wrote that's a moron. Now, the only reason that I would say that the person that wrote, because a lot of people would be, wow, Mikey, as a Christian. Talk to me about saying that the person that wrote that is a moron. And I want to be really, really clear. The only reason that I say that the person that wrote that is a moron is because they're a moron. Makes sense. That's the only reason I say it. Okay? You don't really want to make a point about crime by committing one. That's a good point, man. Dummy. It's not something I thought of, but, you know, it's... It's stupid. It's stupid. It's stupid. It's vandalism. It's stupid. And it isn't. The guy that did this is a monster. And he's in jail right now in solitary confinement. Good. He'll get his. He'll get his. He will get his. Absolutely. The fact that they are now vandalizing his family's home. Stupid. But they can't be as rational as you are right now.

1:34:37On the outside. It doesn't make it right, does it? No, it doesn't make it right. It's just messed up. Maybe they're not a moron. Maybe they're just really hurting. It was a moronic act. Moronic act. For sure. Yeah. No. I think that it takes a moron to do that. I think it takes a moron to vandalize. I mean, it's just, I mean, it's not even about him. You know, if that was his house, if that was his house. And they put, you know, something about you, monster, blah, blah, blah. I would still say, you know, can we not vandalize, you know, vandalize? Like, that's not, like, let's not vandalize. It's just stupid. Like, the answer to stuff like this is in coming up with answers and solutions. Not in committing crime. I'll tell you, that's shocking, though. When she pulled that up, it shocked me. And I think that's obviously the goal of whoever wrote that was to shock the hell out of us. And mission accomplished, pal. You know what I mean? I bet it's a... My guess is a kid. 100%. Well, she was 17 years old, I'm sure. And Chelsea's blood is not on the parent. It's on the monster that did it. It's on the monster that did it.

1:36:04Oh, man. I mean, the whole thing, it's just, it's terrible. 570-1949 is our number. So you can give us a call. And if you want to, you can also text us. M1Protek disagrees. He says, I do hold the parents in some level to blame. He came home with a busted face after his last failed attack and they protected him. Well, I... I don't know that. He lied. I don't know. Why was he staying at his mom's house anyway? I don't know. He has a home. Yeah. He's registered at his home. Yeah. That's one thing that makes me mad. Yeah, I guess I just, you know, I don't like placing blame on people other than where the blame should go. I agree. It's a great call. You know, and the blame is this guy. People are just upset. I am.

1:37:00You can hear it in all of our voices. I think we all are. A lot of people are really, really, really upset. It puts things in so much perspective. It really does. 5701949, the Roger Ebert thing. Pretty cool. Roger Ebert is able to speak again. With the aid of a, now he had thyroid cancer, right? They had to remove a portion of his whole jaw. If you hadn't seen Roger Ebert completely, I mean, you would never recognize him. Roger Ebert from Siskel and Ebert used to be a movie review guy. Still is. Still is? Still is. I read an article in Esquire, I think last month. And there's a theater in Chicago that he and about 20 other critics get together at. a couple of times a week, and I can bring it in, but he writes furiously, and he drops the pieces of paper next to his feet, and at the end of the deal, after he watches the flick, he scoops them all up, takes them home, and writes his article. I think he's the only one that still does it, though. What do you mean? It's Siskel and Ebert? I don't think that they're Siskel. Siskel passed away a while ago. Yeah, Siskel passed away, but Ebert still reviews movies. I'm not sure for whom.

1:38:20Wouldn't that be the best job ever? Yeah. Ever? It would be. Watching movies and telling people what you mean. This ain't too bad either. Not liking that one. Oh, this is great. Yeah. Which, by the way, we're going to do today. We are. And Jay is going to pick the movie. We'll be doing that a little bit later on. Jay's turn to pick the movie. Don't know what he's going to pick yet. No clue. He's smiling in there very menacingly. Oh, what does that smile mean? Yes. What are behind those shady eyes? I know. What movie are we going to see? So anyway, Roger Ebert has a computer that talks for him now. We told Roger a couple of questions in advance so that he could load in his answers. He's on Oprah, right? Check it out. So here's a question. Do you remember the last words that you spoke out loud? No, I don't. Because I didn't realize at the time they were going to be my last words. That's actually his voice, by the way. You know what they did? Huh? This company in Scotland, they went through all of these tapes of him talking on Siskel and Ebert, and they pulled all these different words and phrases and all this different stuff that he said, plugged it into a computer program, and as he types the words, it speaks it. Unreal.

1:39:45How does someone do something like that? I know. How great is that? I probably spoke them to Chaz as they wheeled me out to the operating room. They were probably, I love you. At least I hope those were my last words. On the other hand, they may have been, good morning, doctor. Crazy. Crazy. It's really his voice. Cool. Phenomenal story, man, in that article about the love that he and his wife have still, obviously, for each other. Incredible. Oh, yeah. Very cool. It's a very uplifting story. Anyway, if you haven't heard about it, it's this deal where he's able to talk for the first time through the help of this extraordinary program on his computer. This will lift you up. Always does. This will get you going. Let's do it. How could it not? Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Terrible rhythm. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods.

1:41:15The Masters is five short weeks away. If he does miss it, it'll be the first Masters he's missed since 1994. Okay, so with everything that's gone on, how do you think he does? If he plays, which they're saying it's unlikely that he's going to play in the Masters, he does it pretty good. You think he does good? Yeah. I think the brain on that dude's a steel trap. I think his mind is a steel trap, and Lauren is shaking her head no way. No, I'm still shaking my head. I can't believe he's been playing golf or in the Masters for 16 years. I know. Isn't that crazy? I don't know how many he's won. Quite a few of my dad would know off the top of his head. Yeah, because your dad is practicing. He does. Yeah. He does. Isn't that? I know. It's crazy. He's been there since 1994. So you guys know Sidney Crosby, Sid the Kid. He's a kid from Canada, right? Yeah, he's from Canada, plays for the Pittsburgh Penguins, but he basically scored the winning goal to win Canada the gold medal. Well, in the celebration, he has lost his gloves, the gloves he was wearing, and the stick that he used to score that goal, and they obviously really wanted that for the archives and its history, and they have no idea where it is. How do you lose that? Isn't that kind of a big...

1:42:26I think I checked it on the plate. It's like making the last out in the World Series. You always see it. It usually goes to the first baseman, and you see that guy take it and stick it in his pocket. That's mine. I'm keeping it. So the Hockey Canada organization, and yeah, that's what it's called. They're actually investigating to find out where the hell this thing's gone. Oh, my. Chad Ochocinco is the latest NFLer to join Dancing with the Stars, joining Jason Taylor, Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin. Here he is talking about his costume choices, cut three. Being me, you already know I'm a little wild. I always think outside the box I do things nobody else would do, so am I... Costumes would be more on the Lady Gaga and Rihanna side. Oh, my God. See, the weird thing about him is he's still playing. All those other people you talked about are retired. Some of them have played before. Jason Taylor, I think. One of them, right? But most of them are Hall of Famers that aren't playing anymore. They have nothing else to do. Long-time listeners of The Mikey Show know this about me, but I can't watch Dancing with the Stars. I can't either. Well, the reason I can't watch it is because I have no...

1:43:32perception of what good dancing and bad dancing is. I'll see bad dancing and I'll be like, oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, that's amazing. That guy's so talented. What do I know? You're going to watch it. I can guarantee it. I will because of these personalities on there. I will not. But I can't. Yeah, for sure. He's going to be really good. I bet he is. But see, to me, everyone looks like a good dancer. In American Idol, I can tell when somebody can't sing on key. Me too. But when I watch people dance, I can't tell if they're good. They're all doing something more than I can do, and I go, oh, yeah, that looks great. Can you dance, Lauren? I got a few moves, yeah. I can boogie. Yeah, nothing formal. Yeah? Yeah. But you can do some stuff. Mm-hmm. You can throw it down. I can. Sienna can dance. My aunt told me that our first dance was, like, so sexy at our wedding. It was. Well, you know, there was... Boobage. Boobage. Yeah. There was a little tongue, maybe. There was a tongue? There was not tongue. I thought I saw a French. There was no Frenchie. There was no French. But I was really surprised by that because I was like, Todd, we have to practice. And he was like, no, no, no, we'll just wing it. I'm going to wing it. Did she? I've never seen somebody having so much fun in their first dance. And while you were dancing, my wife goes, she is having so much fun right now. She goes, unlike me and you on our first dance, you know, when we did our reception.

1:44:55Rebecca and I could not have been more uncomfortable. Mortified. Just mortified that we're both, A, two feet tall. Yeah. Dancing in the middle of this dance floor while everybody watches. And, oh, it was so uncomfortable. See, I was uncomfortable, too. But when I'm uncomfortable, I, like, laugh and smile and become a dork. Oh, you were great. So I was like. You were great. You guys were. It looked amazing. Oh, thank you. I was very nervous. Well, Mikey, the Pro Bowl is halfway back to normal again. It is moving back to Hawaii. Good. But it's still going to be the week before the Super Bowl, which eliminates any Super Bowl players from playing in the Pro Bowl. I hate that. So dumb. I'm glad it's back to Hawaii because it's traditional, but dumb. Absolutely. Allen Iverson is not going to be back with the Sixers this year. He has a daughter named Messiah. Yeah. There's an undisclosed illness that she has, so he's out for the rest of the season. Nobody really knows if there's more to the story or not, but he is not coming back in the regular season. And finally, I'm pretty psyched for May 1st. I haven't been excited about a boxing match in a long time. Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Shane Mosley will go at it May 1st. They almost came to blows at the Nokia Theater in New York. Here's Floyd Mayweather talking about how there is no surefire way to beat him. Cut one.

1:46:13There's no blueprint on how to beat Mayweather yet. Third person. First person. Like I said before, Moseley is one of the best watchaways of this era. Play it again. Play it again. Hold on. You got to call it. Hold on. Call it as it happens. First person, third person, first person, third person. Call it. Can you do it? There's no blueprint on how to beat Mayweather yet. Third person. Everyone is trying to solve the puzzle on how to beat Mayweather. That's Mayweather talking about Mayweather. It's the first person. He's doing first person in various ways. He's inventing new ways to talk about himself in the first person. It's one of the greatest clips I've ever heard. One more time. There's no blueprint on how to beat Mayweather yet. Everyone is trying to solve the puzzle on how to beat Mayweather. Like I said before, Moldy is one of the best watchaways of this era. And myself, of course, one of the best fighters to ever live. When you bring the two together, you get one hell of a fight. He's very humble. Sounds like somebody I know. Nobody tells a kid what to do, all right? Nobody tells a kid. I love it. That's a bit. That guy's dead serious. I'm sure. That's serious. And here's Sugar Shane talking about what he likes to do. Cut two.

1:47:27We all know what I do. I knock people out. I go for a knockout. I love it. 100%. Not only am I a fighter and a knockout puncher, but I'm also a tremendous boxer as well. Fans get a chance to see that. I, by the way, have never said those words. That you knock people out? Yeah. This is something I've never said. We all know what I do. I knock people out. I've never said that. I have. All the time. Just walking down the street. You can't stop saying that. Mikey, that's Woods on sports today, brother. Thank you. Woods, Woods, Woods. That's right. This song kills me. It's our new Woodsy theme song. Our phone number here is 570-1949 if you want to give us a call. And if you want to text us, it's 949mikey at gmail.com. Excuse me, Uncle Mikey. May I talk to you for a moment? Whoa. You guys know who that is? Yeah. Who is that? Well, on the other station, when we were on the other station, we used to call him Beto. We can't call him that anymore. What happened? Well, first of all, it's not my real name anyway. Beto? Is that like a nickname? Yeah. Beto was not my real name. Who gave you? Was that like a nickname that you gave yourself? It was a nickname that I gave myself because I wanted people to think that I was not as intellectual as I actually am.

1:48:55Oh, really? So you wanted to dumb yourself down. Well, it wasn't that, but I feared the judging eyes of the general public. Right. Oh. Okay. Beto is not my real name. What is it? My real name is Bartholomew Octavio Alindo Suarez III. Wow. Wow. Can we call you Bart? You could if you want to, yes. Really? Okay. I wouldn't have a problem with it, but my name is Bartholomew. That's a mouthful. I would have used my real name from the beginning at Rock 105, but... Uncle Mikey didn't seem sagacious enough, given the gallery of people that were listening at the time. Dude. Oh, wow. You sound like Bill Shakespeare over there. It's actually William Shakespeare who lived in the 3rd century, but if you want to say that, that's fine with me. Okay. Truthfully, I was quick to affirm it, but I want people to know that I was never a convict myself, and I never did impregnate women. You never did? No, but I used to say that I did. Why would you do that? Because I have an IQ of 270, and I couldn't say that. Wow. Wow. That's like double genius level. Yes, Woods, that is, quote, double genius level. Did your Uncle Mike teach you everything you know? Well, you know, that's a great question, Sienna. The truth be known, Uncle Mikey didn't teach me anything. Nothing. Everything that I learned, I learned from reading my own prose. I would take various books, I would go to the library, I would study. I also used to...

1:50:19propagate lots of different things about myself that weren't necessarily true, like I was a real ladies' man that I used to make love all the time. Why did you do that? I basically did it because I wanted people to think that I was something that I wasn't, but I've only made love once, if you must know, Lauren. Special lady. Something that I wish to not bluster on about. What was his name? Oh, really? Is that how this is going to be? I want to hear. Keep going, Bart. Are you still with this woman, Bart? I'm not with her anymore. In fact, I don't talk about it often. Coitus is not something that I wish to go on and on about. Coitus? Okay. However, I must say that I do find Lauren quite attractive. Oh, wow. Although I've never truly shown any proclivity toward the flaxen-haired variety. But when I look at her, I can't help but notice that she does exhibit a very pleasing derma. Well, you know she has a boyfriend. You do? I do, but go on about my derma, please. Nice. Well, for those of you that don't know, derma is skin. Yeah, I knew that. And I just think that she has lovely derma. It's punctuated by little need for clown-like makeup that so many other females seem to think is so imperative. But she doesn't have to do it. I rather appreciate that.

1:51:35I appreciate you saying that, Bartholomew. Thank you. It's actually Bartholomew Octavio Jalindo Suarez III, but you can call me Barth. That's fine. Speaking of a lovely derma, Uncle Stephen, you have quite a lovely derma as well. Thank you. I do a lot to keep this face in business. That's lovely. How's your girlish primping coming along these days? Stronger than ever, Chief. By the way, is it payday yet or is that simply a new plastic receptacle that you gather your tobacco-laced saliva in? I was just wondering because I was seeing it over there and didn't know. Hey, speaking of saliva, Uncle Mikey. I know what this is about. Do you? Uh-oh. Nice choice of music yesterday. Oh, yes. You were listening. When you played the band Saliva. You're out on them. Yeah, was the band Mucus or Spittle unavailable for airplay? Is that what the deal was? Did you listen to the song? It's actually, they're a pretty good band. Oh, yeah. No, definitely. If your knuckles drag on the floor. They're a wonderful band. That's a little harsh. Yeah, you're kind of combative today. What is your favorite music? Oh, definitely along the same lines, Sienna. In fact, today I'm hoping Mike, you will do some sort of thorough run through of winger or vixen. Oh, yeah. I can get down with that.

1:52:57But since you asked, I like Muse, Phoenix, and Cage the Elephant. Oh, okay. That's good music, Bart. Since you asked. You seem a little bit combative, don't you? He's kind of a D today. I've never seen that side of him. Oh, really? Am I quite a dear? Is that just the effect that the tobacco is having on you as it laces through every ounce of your veins through your little spittle cup that you have over there? By the way, Uncle Steven. Why didn't you bring in your spittoon as you so aptly promised that you would today? It's at my house. You did aptly promise that. Did I? Spittoon. Uncle Sean was here. Spittoon. Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to let you know that there is a very, very strange thing happening at UCSD, also making big news, has to do with the KKK. Wow. Tell you all about it. Coming up. This is the new home of The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. The show's coming up this week. Wednesday night, you can see Tegan and Sarah at Copley Symphony Hall. Manchester Orchestra plays House of Blues this coming Sunday, the 7th. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club will be there next Saturday, March 13th. And Bad Religion.

1:54:36do three nights in a row at the House of Blues to celebrate their 30th anniversary. So huge. They're going to play there March 19th, March 20th, and the 21st. Bad Religion, House of Blues, all three shows are all ages. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. Hey, Jack, sorry to bug you. Where do you usually get your car serviced? Same place I told you yesterday, Lisa. Toyota Carlsbad's New Parts and Service Facility. Thanks. Oh, hi, Molly. You bought a Toyota, right? Yeah, from Toyota Carlsbad. Where do you get it serviced? At Toyota Carlsbad's New Parts and Service Facility. Ooh, Billy, where... Where everyone else goes, Toyota Carlsbad's New Parts and Service Facility. Sorry, but getting your car serviced right the first time is a big deal. That's why we all go to Toyota Carlsbad's New Parts and Service Facility. Master trained service technicians. Genuine Toyota Parts. And it's the largest... The largest Toyota authorized service facility in San Diego County. Well, I guess my choice is clear. Good. Going back to work now. Shipping. This is Doug. Doug, where do you get your car? Stop it. Working. Toyota car rolls back.

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2:00:33Down motorcycle, it's got the number one and two lanes blocked. Looks like that rider was being tended to by an ambulance. A lot of cars have stopped. An ambulance, like I said, on the scene. Traffic's backed up to Telegraph Canyon Road. Escondido, a problem on the 15 southbound before Gopher Canyon Road. Two-car accident. A car spun out, hit the center divider. Then another car. One car's in the center divider. One's on the right shoulder. Two-toe trucks on the way. This report brought to you by USAA. Save up to $600 on free checking or keep watching your bank find ways to take it. Switch to USAA Bank. Open a free account at USAABanking.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. It's The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show is five people. I'm the host of the program. My name is Mikey. I am 39 years of age. We also have our boy Woods, who's 34. Lauren is 29. Sienna is 24. And we have Jay, who's 46. He's going to be picking the movie that we go see today. And we'll review it tomorrow. They don't even have to be new. They could be movies that have been out for a while or brand new movies. It's up to the person picking. We rotate on how we do it.

2:02:22So what is the story of this racist thing happening at UCSD right now? Well, on the campus at UCSD, there is a statue of Dr. Seuss. And apparently we all just learned something new, that his last name is G-E-I-S-E-L, Giesel. Theodore Seuss Giesel. Didn't know that. I know. I thought his name was Seuss. I thought it was Seuss, too. I was trying to ask what Dr. Seuss' last name was. The entire room goes, Seuss. Yeah. I wasn't listening. And I was like, by the way, what was his specialty? Was it podiatry? You know, was he a pediatrician? He was obviously a doctor. It was like a pseudo name, but a lot of his illustrations came from sitting in the San Diego Zoo. He had to be a pediatrician. Well, yeah, I mean, obviously. He works with kids. Yeah. Well, we all know the famous child's author. And it was his birthday yesterday, or it would have been his birthday yesterday. And apparently on Monday they did something on the campus. Someone did to. try and celebrate his birthday in some weird way, and they fashioned some sort of a KKK-style hood and put it on the statue. Oh, my gosh, dude. Apparently, it was made from a white pillowcase, and it was discovered around 11 p.m. outside the library, which is where...

2:03:37The library, I guess, is named after him, too. And then there was also a rose inserted into the statue's fingers. Oh, that's awful. And there was a noose that was found a couple weeks ago, right? That goes back to the moron stories that we discussed earlier. So police are looking into this big time. I mean, I'm talking fingerprints, all kinds of stuff. Try to figure out who this person is. Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt, man. Have you guys met the new guy here? What? He's... A station manager, which I didn't even know he had. He's new. I don't even know what that means. I know. I met him last night. I was up here. I came up here. I was talking to Garrett a little bit last night about some things, and I got a chance to meet the dude. What a piece of work this guy is. New station manager. You know, if you're on the radio right now, he might be listening. He probably is, but I just... He is a piece of work. Describe him, Woodsy. Well... He looks like what 1987 would look like. Okay. What does that mean? But a manager. But a manager. But kind of feathered hair. I think he's from the South. I mean, I don't think. I know he's from the South. And he, I don't know who he knows here, but they brought him in. He's going to be really, really involved. He was like trying to give me ideas. I said, talk to Mikey because. Is that him smiling? That's him, dude. What's his name? His name is Hoyle.

2:05:02Hoyle? Hoyle. Hoyle Hand Ready. Look at his toothy grin. Okay, stop. He's coming in. He's coming in. Hey, y'all. How y'all doing? Hey, man. Good to see you again. Hey, Woodsy. How you doing? I'm all right, man. It's so good to meet you again, man. I don't know if we officially got introduced last night. No, we're... I mean, just we said hey. You must be Sienna. No. Actually, I'm Lauren. Hi, Lauren. And you must be... Sienna. I'm Sienna. I was going to say you were Jay, but then I said, no, that's a girl, and Jay is a boy's name, right? Yeah. Y'all are funny. I just want to say, I've been listening to y'all on the internet. Uh-huh. Can I talk into one of the microphones? Yeah, yeah. Go right over there. There's a mic right over there. Sorry about that. Make it happen. I hate to interrupt y'all, too. I'm sorry. I know y'all are doing a show and everything, so I don't mean to interrupt. You know, you're the boss, I guess, right? Yeah. Well. You know, I'm really glad that you see it that way because I just came from Shreveport. Oh, Louisiana. I live in Louisiana. And y'all probably heard of a lot of the people that I work with. I made Dale and Cooper real popular out there. I'm sure y'all know Dale and Cooper. Okay. They're number one. Mornings. I've never heard of them. 14 books in a row. Yep. That's right. I've actually never heard of them. They're great in the mornings. I also was a gumbo and fish hook. I hired the two of them.

2:06:23I hired the two of them, and they were number one for probably two years running. Yeah, no, I've never heard of Gumbo and Fish Hook. That sounds delicious. They were in, that's funny. I know you have, but that's funny. You're acting like she had the most popular radio show in the whole world. I don't know what you're talking about. How about, oh man, I've done all the big shows. In Little Rock, I was a station manager in Little Rock, and I actually hired. Well, the first go around, I was in charge. I said Gumbo and Fish Hook. Yeah, Gumbo and Fish Hook. I did, oh, Bradley and Twitch. You all know Bradley and Twitch? Nope. I know Lilo and Stitch. That's a movie. Yeah. That's different. Can I give you all some advice? Yes. Yeah, here it comes. Here it comes, dude. As long as it's good. It is. Okay. I've been listening to y'all, and you're funny. There ain't no doubt. You're funny. Uh-huh. I think Woods needs some help. What do you mean? Woods. Yeah. I think you need some help. Like comedic help? I took some comedy classes. I took a seminar. Which one of y'all is a stand-up comic? That's me. Lauren, you know, you've probably taken the famous Bradley Comedy School. No, I've been to a couple comedy courses, but not that one. $150 for seven weeks. It's a wonderful program. It's a good price. I've been through it twice. And it's really good. Now, y'all know the rule of a thousand?

2:07:51I knew the rule of three. No, it's different. It's the rule of a thousand. Everything's funny if you count to 1,001. Do you know how this works? No. Are you sure? Okay. So, like, you're going to come in here and, like, tell us what we need to do for our show? Let me give you an example. I brought something that I think y'all need to try on your show, okay? Okay. I'm going to suggest it. If you don't like it, you don't have to use it, okay? Now, y'all. Oh. Bye. Bye. Bicycle horns, okay? Have y'all done the bicycle horns? No. That's like Howie Mandel back in the 80s. Back in the 80s, it was really popular. That's right. That's right. Y'all are familiar, right? Now, bicycle horn is funny. Y'all see? Y'all see? Right? That made me laugh. Dude, that's so... Now, let me tell you. What? That's so... It's so...

2:08:51Back in 1986 when I was listening to Don Henley driving to work with my mom. That's what Gumbo and Twitch said the first time I brought it in. And then after 18 bucks, number one, they don't argue with it anymore. Let me hear it again. It makes me laugh. Dude, it's so old, man. Hang on a second. Now, I'm going to teach you how to use it, all right? All right. Because you don't just use it. You've got to use the rule of a thousand, all right? Now, Woods, I'm going to give you the horn, all right? All right, dude. Now, I'm going to tell a joke, all right? I'm going to say, that's what she said. Okay. All right? And that'll be the joke. And then, after I say the punchline, and the punchline, if that's what she said, you go, 1,001. Now, you don't say it out loud. You say it in your head, all right? And then, after 1,001, you give the honk, all right? And that's funny. Okay, I'll try. Roll of 1,001. I'll try it. Ready? I'm ready. So, all right, here we go. That's what she... No, no. Woods? You have to count to 1,001. You've got to wait until it's over, and then after it's over, then you go 1,001, and you have, and then you have. Okay, go. Here we go. That's what she said. 1,001. No, no, Woods. Right there, you said it out loud, and I said, don't do that. I said, think of it in your head. I'm not getting. I feel like I'm doing what you're saying to do.

2:10:19No. I feel like I'm doing exactly what you're asking me to do. Lauren, you're a comic. You heard that. No, Woods. Woods. Yep. You're going to be the horn. No. Woods, chill out. Don't hit it until. That's. That's what she said. No, no, no, no, y'all. No, no, no, y'all. You're all saying that's what she said, but you're saying just the. Woods. Yeah. Hang on, I'm going to teach you. Okay, teach me. I'm here to learn, dude. When I give the punchline, then in your head, not out loud, you go 1,001 and then you hit the horn. Ready, go. That's what she said. Stephen, oh my goodness. No. Dude, that was dead on. No, that was like four seconds after. I'm not getting it, man. I guess I'm not getting it. Maybe the horn just doesn't work anymore. The horn is great. It's the horn operator. We all hear it, yeah. I don't, I don't. All right, I'm going to try something else. The horn operator. I'm the horn handler. Hang on. I got a different one. Okay. This one's funny, too. Can we use them both at the same time? I don't know if that's going to work. You can. You can try. Okay, I'll hold the horn because I really want to squeeze it. Well, this one's different.

2:11:39But it's funny, okay? All right. What you do is you tell a joke, all right? You go, that's what she said. You have to count to 1001 again. Hey, how old are these bits? We just did it. It's like five seconds old. These are so old. This is like 1986, man. Radio's moved on from this stuff. No, Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods. That is the wrong attitude. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. I don't know. That ain't going to work. I'm not sure about this. Listen. We do a lot of contests and stuff here, too. Contests are wrong. No contests either. If you're going to do contests. Okay, that's a good point. The other day, I was listening to y'all on the internet, and you gave something away. It was like a six-pack of... CDs nuts. That's right, of CDs. All right? I didn't say the joke, Sienna. She did. CDs nuts. Yeah, very good. Oh, that's good. She even caught it to a thousand. I listened. Very good. Sienna's a new horn operator. No, dude. No, dude. All right, now here's the thing.

2:12:57When I listened to y'all give away a six-pack, I thought, that would have been great, but y'all should ask for caller number six. Why? Really? Sounds good. All right, run me the scenario. So we finished the game. You come on, you go, hey, y'all, FM 949, and, y'all, that was a rock and roll record. All right. Shouldn't we get caller 949? That wasn't funny. Why'd you ring the bell? I didn't ring the bell. Hoil. Hoil. I hate. His name's Hoil. Hoil Hanready. Hoil Hanready is our new station manager. It's not a joke. Kind of. And he seems to think he knows what is best for the Mikey show.

2:13:57As far as bits and things are concerned. Y'all should be doing Color 6. Color 6 is lame. No, it works, y'all, because it don't make sense. Tell me how it, maybe I'm not getting it. Hey, well, first of all, y'all have to realize that I have a background in country and western, but. Weird. But I got rock and roll under my fingernail. Oh, wow. Wow. You might want to get that checked out. No doubt. Manicure, maybe. 1001. No, don't say it out loud, Jenny. I know, I'm sorry. Say it in your head. Okay. Y'all should meet more about the timing of the horn. Okay, we will, for sure, because it's awesome. Anything has to do with bicycle noises, that's funny. I got to call, I got to call B-asshole. I mean, dude.

2:14:52This may have worked in some really, really tiny markets. It works in every town. It's worked in every big city I've ever been in. Little Rock, Memphis. It was West Memphis, but it was Memphis. It works in every city. Y'all are going to take it to the house, I promise. Dude, I don't know, man. I don't know. Listen, what do you do to give away prizes? What we did last week is we did a contest where we played movie clips. And then we yelled our name and then we named the movie. Sorry. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. That was a joke? No, it ain't. It sounds funny to me, dude. It was funny. I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt. What? It seems like your stuff is a bit antiquated, my friend. What is that? Just kind of a little old, pal. What is that? I think he's... He's been hanging out with Bartholomew a little too much earlier. He's on the right track. His heart is in the right place. I don't know if he's being as respectful as he should be. I mean, you know, he is my new boss and everything, but... I got rock and roll under my fingernail. It's not a joke. But, dude, I mean, we are, you know, we're doing pretty well. Things are moving. We're gelling a lot. I mean, I don't know if introducing...

2:16:15bicycle horns into our bits is going to really make them that funny. When I first started working with Booger and Carstamp, both of them said from the very beginning, they said, we ain't doing no bicycle horn. We ain't going to wear those cowboy hats on the air. And I said, if you put the Stetsons on, you're going to feel better about yourself. That's why I'm wearing a mist. That wasn't a joke. It wasn't a joke. But the vest wasn't a joke? I'm wearing the vest because the vest makes me feel dressed up. Really? It was a little bit of a joke, but okay. I'd change the way you dress, Woods. Okay. Dockers. Dockers? This is a rock and roll station. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying, Dockers. Dressed for success, brother. Oh, my God, dude. You gots to. I can't believe this. I can't believe this. I can't believe it. Lauren, you're a comedian. You understand the rule of a thousand. You got to say the joke and then you do something with a bicycle horn. How about this one? What? That's funny. You like that? That's funny. That's funny. We've been working on that. Y'all got to do that fog horn thing. That is funny. Ready, ready, ready? Go for it. Knock, knock. Who's there?

2:17:37No. It wasn't me. It was Woods. Woods. Blow the punchline again. You stepped on it and you hit the horn before the thousand. Don't hit the horn unless I say it. Say, let me get it out. But you're not supposed to say it out loud. Maybe you let us finish our show, pal. Let's everybody take it easy. I'm just getting a little worked up, dude. When we're off the air today, let's all go get an omelet with Garrett and we'll sit down and we'll talk it over. Chicken fried steak? Y'all like hash browns? Love them. Of course. Wonderful. We'll go do that. Y'all keep doing your show. What size dockers you wear? Extra small. 34. You wear 34? Yeah. All right. I'm going to get you some. No, I don't need you to buy me any Dockers because I'm 34. It's going out in a memo today to all the disc jockeys anyway. Everybody here has got to wear Dockers. Even Hillary? Hillary's got to wear Dockers? Abso-freaking-lutely. And Tommy has to wear Dockers? Everybody's got to wear Dockers. Go look at Garrett. Dr. Evil's got a pair of them right now.

2:18:49That was a joke. That's good, Sienna. I got it. Dude, come on. I just took a time machine back to 1987. I like the horn. I'm just going to go ahead and say it. Dude, it's such an old bit. I'll see y'all later. Bye, Hoyle. Somebody asked Hillary what color dockers. I recommend pink for the ladies. She might like tie-dye. Tie-dye's good, anything, but just make sure they're dockers. And I'm not going to institute the cowboy boot thing because I don't think y'all are ready for it anyway. Yeah, one step at a time. I think you take it one step at a time. Baby steps. Oh, by the way, somebody cussed the other day on the air. Someone said birth control. Don't say that anymore. That was Neil Diamond. That's not a curse word. It is in Louisiana. You can't say that on the radio. There's a lot of things you can't say. Somebody said birth control. Don't even use that word on the radio. That'll get you in a lot of trouble. All right, maybe get and let us get back to work. Hoyle, really nice to meet you. Great to meet you. It was wonderful to meet y'all. Bye, Hoyle. Hoyle is this guy's name. You have a problem with authority. Nobody tells a kid what to do. Nobody tells a kid what to do.

2:20:10On FM 94.9. Craig and O'Reilly. Your car or truck may be keeping a dirty little secret. If you haven't checked the oil lately, dirt and contaminants could already be shortening your vehicle's life. Operating your vehicle with low motor oil levels or dirty oil will eventually cause major damage to your engine and your checkbook. It only takes a few minutes once a month to check your engine oil level. And when you need a top off between oil changes, stop by any Craig and O'Reilly auto parts store. We'll have the brands you need at a price that will save you money. Pennzoil Conventional Motor Oil is available for the low price of $249 a quart at your local Cragen O'Reilly Auto Parts. Clean engine sludge and protect your engine from tough everyday driving conditions. Pick up Pennzoil Conventional Motor Oil $249 a quart at Cragen O'Reilly Auto Parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details. O'Reilly.

2:21:12Let me tell you, AIS is so great. Oh, do I love AIS. It's absolutely the best, and they are doing such cool things for you. Saving you a lot of money on your auto insurance. I saved $1,600 a year by making the switch to AIS, and you can too. All you got to do is give them a call. 1-800-777-4AIS. 1-800-777-4247. By the way, if you're a good driver, if you got an anti-theft device in your car, you got a... If you're a good student, you can get discounts just for that. It's really, really cool. So give them a call today, 1-800-777-4AIS. You can even do it now. It takes less than 10 minutes to get you all dialed in. Then once you save the money, call us. Tell us all about it. We want to hear about your experience. That's the way that people really dig it. That's the way people understand is that they know that real people have done it and real people have saved. 1-800-777-4AIS. Verizon is the best destination for great family value. And that's good to know. Because if you make any more cuts to your budget, your children are going to riot. You've cut back on movie night and banned junk food. Lay a hand on their wireless, and the hard truth is, they'll be picketing the kitchen table in no time. Good thing Verizon has free phones for the whole family, including the compact LG Accolade.

2:22:36or the sleek slide-out Samsung Intensity. Right now, get either phone free after a $50 mail-in rebate debit card. Plus, add lines to your family share plan for just $9.99 monthly access per line. Upgrade your family to America's largest and most reliable wireless network. Visit Verizon Wireless, verizonwireless.com, or call 1-800 to join in. After the first two lines for $69.99 monthly access on a nationwide talk family share plan. All phones require new two-year activation, early termination, and other fees apply. Coverage details at VerizonWireless.com. We begin in a world of consumer banking needs, but travel to another dimension. A dimension of secure, fast, and easy ways to make deposits through ATMs, of no longer having to fill out deposit slips or use envelopes. You've just crossed over into the Chase Zone. Did you just put that check directly into the ATM? Yep. No deposit slips, no envelopes? No need. Whoa, you just stuck a bunch of 20s in there. What is wrong with you? Me? I'm not the one feeding the ATM like a hungry Sasquatch. Sasquatch? Really? I don't know.

2:23:42It's Chase deposit-friendly ATMs. Deposit checks and bills. And it shows you a picture of the checks on the screen and on your receipt. Wow, ATM machines that practically read your mind. My bank doesn't have that. Chase does. Chase now has ATMs that let you securely deposit up to 30 checks and 50 bills at a time with hardly any effort. Just slide them in. They take care of the rest. That's what happens when you step into the Chase Zone. Deposits are subject to the fund's availability policy. See a banker for details. JPMorgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. Stay tuned for a million bottle giveaway announcement. Do you have troubled skin? Acne? Well, against the better judgment of our management team, we're going to prove to you once and for all that Proactiv works. So if you want to try it, give us a call because we're going to let a million people try Proactiv and receive our legendary refining face mask free if you call right now. You heard it. Be one of the first callers and you'll receive a 60-day trial of Proactiv Solution risk-free plus a free refining face mask when you call 1-800-244-1946. Proactiv's combination therapy system uses prescription-grade acne medicine and soothing spa quality botanicals to create a powerful acne-fighting system. It's so effective it transforms blemishes and bumps into clear, smooth skin. You can have beautiful, healthy-looking skin. Put us to the test and we'll prove it. Get your risk-free 60-day trial.

2:25:01So what is this diary of a madman? Well, it's about me, John Leguizamo. It's about my career, my life, my loves, my sexual failures, my fights, my battles, my money. Look, I've been canceled. I've been fired. I've been banned. I've even been beat up. I never quit. Not even from Carlitos Wade to Tu Wong Fu, from Super Mario Brothers to Moulin Rouge, from Freak to Sexaholics. This is raw, real, and funny as hell. It better be. It's about me. On stage now at La Jolla Playhouse. Visit LaJollaPlayhouse.org today. Taylor Lovers. Taylor Lovers. Wade and Taylor Lovers. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mío, what have I done?

2:25:59This report is brought to you by Carfax. Are you in the market for a used car? Well, you'll want to steer clear of rebuilt wrecks. A Carfax report can help you. Just say show me the Carfax or go to Carfax.com. 805 Northbound, things clearing up after Bonita Road. We had a sig alert here earlier due to a downed motorcycle, but all lanes have been reopened. They canceled the sig alert. Traffic, though, still pretty much backed up to Telegraph Canyon Road. Valley Vista Road, Sweetwater Road, an accident, car and a van. They're both sitting over on that right shoulder. And a little cowboy action this morning, San Felipe Road. at mile marker seven. We've got a herd of animals on the roadway. 78, not 78, but 728. Loose cows not moving very quickly. All right, bad joke. This report brought to you by Wawanese Insurance. Wawanese Insurance, better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto home or your condo. You could call them 877-WA-WANESA. Go to wawaneseus.com. Rate shopping, it can pay off. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now. More of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. I'm not sure what he's doing. We'll find out together. I would get a Diet Coke, except I don't have 60 cents in exact change. Or your New Balance running shoes. Yeah. Our Coke machine is a mile and a half from our studio. Yeah, I don't have... Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't mean to do that. No. I'm sorry. Hoyle is going to say that wasn't a joke. He's going to come in and say, Jay.

2:28:02Jay, Jay, Jay. Don't let him in here. I started that up on mistake, so we got to stop it. Poor Jay. See this? I started it on mistake. Jay's got his running shoes. I know. Weird. Every day. I don't have 45 minutes to go catch a flight to go get Diet Coke. Or I would. I can't believe they haven't fixed the vending machine yet. I know. The exact change thing is killing me. I go put a dollar. I'm like, ah! I don't have any change in my pocket. Did you fix it, Jay? Yeah, it should be fixed. Okay. Jay's going to pick a movie pretty soon. You should write that down for Mikey. Did you fix it, Jay? Yeah. Seriously. Write it down. How often do I say that? All day, every day. Jay, can you fix this? What do I do? Let's see. Went golfing yesterday. Yes. And we're going to be golfing in a couple of weeks. Yeah. Two weeks.

2:29:02Right? Three weeks, roughly. Three more weeks? Because yesterday was my second week. And yesterday I was chipping. Dude. Let me tell you guys something. Let me tell you guys something. This dude here can chip. No, no, no. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I could chip. Let's explain to the listeners what chipping is. Okay, so let's say, Lauren, you're 25 feet. 40 feet, 40 feet away from the green. You don't want to take a full swing, right? You're going to hit it too hard. So you just chip the ball up on the green. It's like kind of being, picking up the ball and throwing it on the green. Is that like if you're in the sand? No, that's, that's called out of the sand, but this is chipping. It's around the green. You're actually on the grass. Where the grass is long. Okay. It's just like, yeah, more up than out. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. Yep. So Mikey steps up and Mikey's coach is Lee Sanuto. Sanuto? I always mess up his name. He's going to call in. He's awesome. He's so good. So freaking good. He calls in or he is showing Mikey how to chip. Mikey steps up and chips it within like three feet of the hole the first time. Then does it again. Then again. He's sculled a couple, but for the most part, dude, you are right on with chipping. If he tells me exactly what to do right before I do it.

2:30:25It really helps, but he's a really good instructor. He is such a good coach and a teacher and a good dude, and he's going to actually come play with us. He's very calming. Very calming. It'll become muscle memory. Sounds like a bromance to me. No, no question. He's so calming and he's just so good. No question. So handsome. Very attractive, too. Yeah, very good looking. Very good looking. Great dresser. Guy is a professional. Yeah. So we were asking him. We were like, have you ever just gone out there and somebody doesn't know? And he's like, yeah. I mean, can you imagine you go golf with some guy? You don't know that he's a professional golfer. And he's got like a 350-yard drive. Down the middle of the shoot, and then he's just throwing darts at the green. And this kid throws darts. We were at Carlsbad Golf Center, which is awesome, dude. The people are so nice. They took Mikey in. They helped him get a new putter. They actually, while we were there, Cut it down to fit him. Put the grips back on a custom made. Yeah. Sorry, dude. As you said that, I looked at Mikey. He looked at me. And I was like, sorry, Mike. It was a little tall. Yeah. Now it's the size of a ruler. Cut it down to fit him.

2:31:41Now the putter is the size of a ruler. Yeah, it actually looks like those wooden spoons your mom used to beat you with when you were a kid. It looks like the little legs Charlie Chaplin used. When he did the little dance. That's my putter. But he's getting, Mikey, Mikey is getting. No one make a t-shirt of that. Yeah, nobody make a t-shirt. Please make a t-shirt. He's getting so much better. You like it, though, don't you? Oh, I love it. It's so fun. But Mikey, like a lot of things, overthinks it. Yeah. He overthinks it. And it's such a natural game. It'll all come, dude. Titleist got me some AP irons. Nice. And they're awesome. Love them. Woodsy loves using those clubs. He's so jealous. I hit that seven iron like 170 yards. I was just like, whack. And Mikey was like.

2:32:45It was weird. Are you feeling more confident, though, now? Oh, yeah. It's fun. I'm actually enjoying it. You know, but I'm not any good in it, but I'm liking it. I'm liking it. I bet you're good. No, no, no. I'm not. But I'm enjoying it. No, no, no. I'm not. I'm not. But I'm enjoying doing it. You're getting better. And you've played twice. Yeah. Imagine going out and some guy grabbing a football for the first time and trying to throw that thing in a spiral. Yeah. I'm proud of you, Mike. Yeah, you're doing really good. Thank you. Very proud of you. We'll talk to Lee in a little while. He's going to go out there with us when we actually golf. And it's going to be pretty cool. So Sienna tried something yesterday. Oh, God. This made me laugh. She says in her recap email, she said, I did something yesterday that was so out of my element. I went to Whole Foods. Oh. It's like me going in there. She says, Lauren and Jay must be rubbing off on me. Nice. She says, I was so awkward that I actually ended up walking out with nothing. Yes. I'm not even kidding, you guys. So funny. That is so funny. Y'all aren't supposed to hit that until a thousand ones. Okay. Sorry, Hoyle. Jump the gun. We're sorry, Hoyle. So you went in there and you couldn't.

2:34:10find anything no i mean i walk in first of all and i'm at first like this is the greatest place ever i feel like i feel like people are skipping they're all smiling it's all young people working there it's like a trendy place to be it's awesome and i was like oh okay like this isn't that bad so i walk in i'm looking around and Everything is organic and nothing is familiar. I'm like, are there any like just like pickles in this place? Yeah. Like, can I just find a pickle? Is there any water or is it all coconut water? We have waffled cucumbers. We don't have pickles. And like everything looked really good. Just reeks of patchouli in there. Real good. Sienna, I'm telling you, here's what you have to do. What? Get a sandwich. Yeah, it was voted one of the best lunch places in San Diego, if not the best, I think. My wife thinks that I'm such a geek because the first time I ever went in there was last year. I'd never gone in Whole Foods before, and as a foodie... Is it because the needle scratches off the record when you walk in? Pretty much. No. But no, no, no, no. If you're a foodie, like, it's Disneyland.

2:35:15It's Disneyland. Like I went in there. Sade playing. I was like, what is going on? I walk in. I try to be optimistic. I put a couple things in my cart and I ended up putting them back because I panicked. But they had an aisle with like lotions and moisturizers and clothes. I've hit that before. I was like, wow. It was too overwhelming, and I needed a Ziploc bag, and I couldn't find them. Dude, you're not going to find a plastic bag in the whole thing. You guys have speedballs here, too? But I did. I panicked, and I just got out of there as quickly as possible. That's hysterical. Dude, this was my favorite line of her talking about it. She says, Where's the Crest toothpaste? No. Where's the secret deodorant? No. What is Uncle Tom's? And why is everything unscented? I think it's Tom's of Maine. That's what it is. I don't want a crystal on my armpit. I want something that smells good. I just got lightheaded. I just got lightheaded. I just got lightheaded. Holy Toledo. Oh, that's funny.

2:36:31Let's see. So give us a call. 570-1949 is our number. Or you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Oh, we got him on the line. Let me play you a clip of our next guest. This is... This is our next guest. Anyway, we're trying to lose weight really hard, and I say, I'm your sponsor, you're my sponsor, and let's lose weight. I come in, she's eating a bag of cookies, and I crushed them, and on the counter was this, you know how they have a wood block of knives? She pulls out a butcher knife, and she stabbed me right here. Oh, my God. Right here, yeah. Wow. And the great thing about this is I had her face tattooed over here at the time, and if she just stabbed me there, it turns out the heart's on the left side. And here's my reaction. I swear to God, after she stabbed me with a butcher knife and sticked out of me, I'm like, Are you kidding me? This is my skinny shirt? Because I thought, if I call the cops and say, hey, my wife just stabbed me. And they go, why? Well, I crushed your cookies. And they go, who are you married to? I go, Roseanne. And they go, you go, well, no wonder. Isn't her name tattooed on your ass? Yeah, I mean, I don't want to be that guy. Wow. Tom Arnold is on the line. How you doing, Tom?

2:37:47How do I talk fast on TV? I slow it down. There's more nuances in my live act. That's right. That's so embarrassing. So, Tom, that is such an – now, is that a true story? Yeah, that was Jenny Craig we were hired to. That goes – I talk about being fired from every job I ever had. And that was a story where Jenny Craig had hired us for $10 million to lose 20 pounds. And Jenny Craig had just come out with these new ice cream bars. And they were so good. They were like real ice cream bars. I was eating like 30 of them a day. It was like seven Jenny Craig lunches. And then a week later, I was like, Rosie, this is weird, but I think I'm gaining weight on Jenny Craig. And it turns out Jenny Craig is great if you eat one meal per meal. I didn't know it was unlimited. I thought it was unlimited, Jenny Craig. And so I said, people already hate us. We've got to lose. We've got to lose this. We can build a school with this money. So I said, I'll be like your father. We pounded fists. We're going to 24-7 each other. We're going to lose the weight. Besides, I said, I weigh 270. I'm 6'2". You're 200. You're 5'0". I'm not a scientist, but if you lose the 20 pounds, it'll probably be healthy for us. You know, so the very next day, I came in, and she was in the kitchen eating a bag of Jenny Craig chocolate chip cookies, and I just crushed them, and she immediately pulled out a knife and stabbed me. Amazing. And I honestly was more worried about my...

2:39:13Skinny shirt, because it was the last XXX polo black that they made, and it had a stab wound and blood all over it. It was ruined. Oh, my gosh. And, you know, I don't want to sound sexist, but we've all heard men call 911 and go, my wife's kicking my ass over here. You know, I didn't want to be that guy because they played it on TV. And then Jenny Craig found out about it, and they didn't make it public, but they fired us. Because they didn't want people to think you would gain weight on Jenny Craig, which you wouldn't. I can't imagine why that would be bad press for them. But the whole point is you get a deposit of 20% every time you do something like that. And we've got to keep the deposit so we didn't get $10 million to lose 20 pounds. We got $2 million to gain 20 pounds. Unbelievable. Which is a victory. That's awesome. My favorite part of that story, Tom, is when you said the triple X polo was your skinny shirt. That's right. That's my favorite. I bought 50 of them, and it was my last one, and they didn't make them anymore. That's brilliant. It's black. It covers up the love handles. That's brilliant. I was very sad about that shirt. Oh, man. Sure. So, Tom, what have you got going on now? What are you doing? Well, I'm going to be down at the Irvine Improv this weekend and get ready to do a special.

2:40:25I've been doing comedy on the road every weekend since July and preparing, doing that. I'm also, I have a show called Kid Pitch that is on Sunday mornings. It's on Fox Sportsnet. It's kids six to nine that, you know, talking about baseball. And they really care. You know, they all play on teams and they care about the stuff that, they don't care about steroids. They don't care about the scandals. They care about, you know, baseball. We've got Joe Torre and Vin Scully and this Jenny. coming to Pistons Kids today. Did you guys know, by the way, that Tom is really involved in charities? Yeah, it's awesome. Tom, I actually didn't know that, and it's kind of cool to see, but you are involved in an awful lot of charities. Is there one of them that you, is this the one that you feel the strongest about? Well, Camp Del Corazon is down, we have that on Catalina Island, and that's one of my favorites, because that's kids that have had really super serious, most of the kids have had heart transplants, and that's, it's a, Great charity because it's a, you know, we take for granted being normal and stuff. And these kids, their normal lives are either way up or way down. But when they get to the camp, there's 400 7- to 12-year-olds and 400 13- to 18-year-olds. We have two different weeks. And they get off the boat, and instead of being that special kid that had an art transatlant, there's 400 other kids that have, too, and they're just normal. And we climb, we do wall climbing and rock climbing and kayaking.

2:41:51We play ball and we do all the stuff that normal camps do. And the only reason we can have this camp is because doctors and nurses volunteer to be the counselors. Otherwise, we could never get insured. And so it's a really great, it's one of my favorites. It also helped me, you know, because you get to know the doctors. So if you ever have a problem yourself, selfishly, you know who to call. That's true. All this charity work is completely selfish. Because it all makes me not think about myself. It makes me grateful and whatever. We're talking to Tom Arnold, and we played that clip right at the beginning of the interview of him telling the story about when he used to be married to Roseanne and her pulling a knife out and stabbing him because he crushed her cookies. Yeah. How often do you actually... Talk to Roseanne? None. I haven't talked to her in 16 years. You know, that's the thing about doing stand-up after, you know, in the 80s, I did it a lot. I lived in Minneapolis. But, you know, you move to L.A. and you start writing and you start acting. And it's the one thing that scared me the most was, you know, actually going out. And so I took a night a week at the Laugh Factory and then unemployed people get it free so we'd have a crowd. And then started working on to see what people remembered about me and what I had to address.

2:43:12Unfortunately, they remembered quite a bit. And so I talk about, you know, my mistakes and my, you know, my life. And I think people leave there feeling better about their lives. Yeah, Tom, it sounds like in a lot of ways, you know, you've really changed a lot. You've really turned your life around. I hope so. I mean, I've been very lucky, too. I mean, I don't have, you know, even with Roseanne or whatever, I mean, I have no, I'm very grateful for, you know, I got to be a stepfather for five years. She held me a lot of ways. I got sober because I was with her because you can't be drunk and be a stepfather, really. Right. You know, unfortunately, because that was not my plan. My plan was to continue being crazy. And then all of a sudden you got kids involved and you have to sort of shape up. Right. And so, you know, I don't have any hard feelings. And I would talk to her. But she had, you know, that's just not possible. And also, you know, these guys that say I'm best friends with my ex-wife. I'm always suspicious of that because they're such good friends. Why did they get divorced? You know, something apparently went wrong. And I think it's hard on your wife now. So, you know, I wish all I wish Roseanne the best and Julie and Shelby. And and I just I know I hear they're doing well. That's good enough for me.

2:44:35And I'm just very lucky to be with Ashley. That's cool. That's awesome. Hey, listen, Tom, we appreciate you coming on, and I want to encourage people to go to the show. The show is this weekend, the Irvine Improv. It's Thursday, Saturday, and Rory Scoville is working with me, but you're going to see everything that I'm going to do in this special. It's going to be fun. I promise you that. It's also a good chance to talk to people one-on-one after the show and to spend time to actually touch people. You know, take pictures and do all that stuff and actually talk to real people. So that's cool. That's what I like the best about it. That's cool. Well, Tom, thank you for coming on. Best of luck. And hopefully listeners heard this and they'll get out there and they'll support you this weekend. And it's for a good cause and all that stuff. And so we appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you guys for having me on. I really, really appreciate it. Thanks, Tom. We appreciate it. Thanks, Tom Arnold. who's going to be at the improv this weekend. I almost just dorked out so bad. Oh, why? Why? His best, my favorite role that he's ever done was in Austin Powers. Yeah. And Austin Powers is next to him in the toilet and he's flushing that guy to the toilet and he goes, who does number two work for? I was about to do it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. That's hysterical. Oh, dude. 570.

2:45:54194.9 is our number. Hey, y'all, I'm still hanging out in here. Dude, get it. Hang on a minute. Hang on. I just want to point something out. What? This is our new station manager, Hoyle Hanratty. If I may. I want to point out the Tom Arnold interview was good, but it probably would have been better with a horn. Well, I didn't want to disrespect the man by blowing a horn during the middle of his interview. That's kind of a double bit. That's a more serious one. Oh, you do that when things are serious. Well, it's not when it's necessarily serious, but if it isn't as silly. Okay, you got silly honk. All right. And then you got the one of like, oh, I'm sneaking one on my wife. I see the distinction. Right. All right. Then you got, oh, it's a serious Tom Arnold interview. It doesn't sound that stupid. I guess I don't get it. As your horn handler? Y'all have to come back to the office later, and I'll show you some videos on YouTube, and then I'll explain it to you. So you're going to make me come watch Gumbo and Fish Hook do the horn blow? Gumbo and Fish Hook actually really, really got it down to science. When I first started with them, first of all, they didn't wear the Dockers, and second of all, they were very against the horn. Sounds familiar. Right, but after a while, I think you'll get used to it.

2:47:22What's that person in there doing? That's Jay. Actually, here in Big Market Radio, we actually have a dude that actually produces the show. What does that mean? It means he produces the show. He slates the grid. We figure things out. He does the calls. You see him in there. He loads audio. The guy does a lot of stuff. He runs part of the board. I'm wearing Dockers right now. Yeah, he's not and probably never will, Hoyle. Yeah, his name is Jay. He doesn't have gray hair. He doesn't? No. Oh, I thought you said great hair. I thought you said great hair, too. That's what I said. Oh. Maybe git now, please. Now, see, if you say git, hit the horn after it. Okay. Here, I want Lauren to do this one. All right. Can you try it? That's funny. Is that funny, dude? Don't I have to say something to accompany the bell? Not really. Just... There you go. Every ten minutes, I just hit it. Do you need me to grab the door for you?

2:48:32Sounds like something's done in the oven. What do you mean? That's fun. 5701-949. Thank you, Hoyle. Give us a call. You can text us. The text is 949Mikey at gmail.com. Mike? Yeah. Have you ever met anybody named Hoyle before? No. Hoyle. I've never met anybody named Hoyle. Hoyle the Hayseed is what I'm going to call him from now on. It's a very unusual name. Hoyle. Do you know that Lauren went to a Vietnamese restaurant last night? True. Of course. Like, I mean, if we named all of us on the show and said which one of us went to a Vietnamese restaurant last night, I'm pretty sure we would all say that it was Lauren. Funnily enough. That's not a word. I got a call. Funnily? Funnily. Funnily is a word, dude. It is. Yes. I don't know if it's being used properly. Funnily enough. All right. I don't like that. I don't care. Funnily enough. You guys are crazy. Funnily. So three of us on the show actually had Asian-themed cuisine yesterday. We did. Lauren goes to Vietnamese restaurant. Guess where Mike and I go?

2:49:52P.F. Chang's? No. Are you kidding? What? Panda Express. Both of us. No, MSG though, right? Oh, that's pickups too. He saw mine and thought, that looks so good. I'm going to have to go get some for myself. I did. You ever do that where you see somebody having something? You're like, oh, I got to have it. You got to have it. For sure. It looks so good. So last night, Lauren said that she went to the Vietnamese restaurant. Only Lauren can put this. Like, I've never written these words in my life. I went there with the intent of trying pho for the first time. PHO. PHO. And at the last minute, I took the safe fruit and got the sautéed veggies, chicken, and brown rice. But once the pho came to the table, I instantly had buyer's remorse. But my boyfriend Matt was nice enough to let me eat some of his. It was sad and hilarious all at the same time as Matt slurped on his noodle and spicy broth. What the hell is pho? Wait, wait, wait. And listen to this. Write that down. And somehow his foe shot directly into his eye. Yes. And he was like, ow. And had to go flush out his eye. Unbelievable. Because it was spicy, right? Well, he added all this chili sauce to it. And it was like the lady actually came to the table and goes, wow, that's red. Yeah. And yeah, so when the noodle like dipped and it went.

2:51:22Bam! Just square in the eye. It was so good. Mikey, we don't have to do it. He said, I don't care. I like the horn. I like it. He said, after the joke, you go 1001. Should I wear my Whitesnake jean jacket in tomorrow, too? Because maybe that's cool also. Dockers, he said. Dockers. He said Dockers in a Whitesnake jean jacket. In my Camaro. He had on Dockers in a Wrangler shirt. With a vest. With a vest. I thought it was great. Yeah. I thought it looked pretty good. Why am I the only one that's not buying this shtick? You are being disrespectful to him. Whatever. You're being disrespectful and you're just not giving it a shot. You have to give everything a shot. So, when is Jay going to... Jay's picking his movie next. I'm making an executive decision. Wow. Run it by Hoyle first. Yeah. Make sure it's...

2:52:34Up to code. Maybe we'll go see The Breakfast Club. Yeah, because I don't know what Hoyle thinks about us doing movie reviews. Is that Corey Hart? Number 11. I'm very disheveled. Weird. The internet, remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed. Do you remember when you used a dial-up to access the internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed, and now you're doing more and more on the Internet. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with Dial-Up. And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than Dial-Up? Here's the deal. If you want super fast Internet without all the lag you get with DSL, switch to Earthlink from Time Warner Cable.

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2:58:31Go to BeWaterWise.com. You can learn more. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln financial media station. The new home of The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. I just want to introduce the show to you. My name is Mikey. I'm the host of the program. Hey, Mikey. That's right. I heard that a lot when I was growing up. I know. Sometimes you just have to see it. The life serial kid. Hey, Mikey. Mikey will try anything. Mikey likes it. Mikey will eat it. He likes everything. I heard Michael Michael motorcycle a lot growing up. Anyway, I'm the host of this show. I'm 39 years of age. Feeling like a man right now. Just wanted to share that with you. Woodsy is our sports guy. Hi. He's a fan of the Yankees. Yep, day 23 today, pal. Yeah, it's our 23rd day on the air together. Michael Jordan, LeBron.

3:00:07That's right. Lauren is... Why are you laughing at it? Laughing at Sienna. Something she motioned towards me. I don't want to talk about it just yet. Lauren's our assistant producer. Sienna is our news girl. She's wearing the same referee top that her and Lauren wore on the same day. I love it. And Jay is our producer. Welcome back to the program. Jay's going to be picking a movie for us to see in just a little bit. Right now, it's time for... He is chewing on something right now. So nervous he had to move mics. It's not nerves, hon. He came back into the studio. It's familiarity. And Jay was in here. And Jay goes, are you sweating right now? And Woods goes, no, I'm not sweating.

3:01:35splashed water on my face through this. Which was just as hysterical. It's go time. Kid takes it very seriously. Takes it very seriously. The Incorporator. Look at him. He's drinking Gatorade. He has to stand up. He stands like, okay, so here is how the Incorporator works. You call us right now at 570-1949. I just stuck something in my butt. Poked his butt. Because he has to turn away from us. He won't look. So I had to reach and poke the highlighter on his butt. If I had a dollar for every time I heard Wood say that, I'd be a rich girl. You are a rich girl. All right. Now, call us right now. 570-1949. And you give us a phrase. But it has to make sense. Or a word. Or a word. Can't be made up words. You can't. Could it be like shimma lemma ding dong? No. Why not? Because that would never be said in a conversation. Yeah, but it can't be like a... It can't be a made-up word. Like, you can't make a word up like, you know, sababal. You know what I mean? Like, that's not a real word. Give us some examples. No, that's not a word. No. Everybody defaults to S for some reason when we talk about made-up words. Yeah, what you do is you go, you say, you call us up and you give us a phrase like you go, Cadillac problems. Yeah, that's a phrase.

3:02:57Or you call us up and you go... Top of the morning. Top of the morning to you. What about gooseneck? That works. Gooseneck? Absolutely. You call up... I don't know what a gooseneck is. You don't? No. It's a neck on a goose. Yeah, it's that. I mean, that's subjective, too, because I don't know if that's a real word. I immediately thought turtleneck, and then I said, no, that's not right. Yeah, gooseneck is not really a word. Make it one. That's right. Just get to the point of the game. Let's not try to trick me. With made-up words? But that's the point. No, it's not the point. The point of the game, the way that the Incorporator started. But we're trying to give prizes away for people that can trick you. Yeah, trick me with hard words, not fake words. That's not fake. Gooseneck. That's a combination of two words that don't mean anything. All right, all right. Be like this. I'll be like this. Is cow tongue not a real word? That's a real word. Well, why isn't gooseneck? Because it's different. Fine, gooseneck. If you want me to do gooseneck, I will. I don't want you to. It just doesn't make any sense. Call us up right now. Gooseneck was like, you know. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to put myself on the line. I'm going to gooseneck, you know. It's not going to happen. Now, if you said goose egg, which means throw it up a big zero, like if you're in sales, hey, I goose egg last month. What about, who are we calling right now? Maybe let's, hey, you know what? Instead of all like.

3:04:18Having a fun little brainstorm. Maybe we get the listeners to give me the phrases so we can get it on. Woods has to leave the room before he gets the phone calls. He can't know the words in advance. Woods, he can't know. So Woods, he has to leave the room. Clowns. I have a good one. I'm going to go hang out with Hoyle. What? What's yours? Hold on. ShamWow. ShamWow's great. ShamWow. ShamWow is great. I love it. Do you have one, Lauren? How about knickers? Love it. See, those are good. I really liked my panther last week. Yeah, panther was good. I'm going to throw in stogie. What about breakfast at Tiffany's? Oh, I like that. I like that better than stogie. I love breakfast at Tiffany's. What about Jay? Jay, you got one? Yeah. We're doing more this time, right? We're going to do like 10 words. And we're going to do a bunch. Yeah. Look at Woodsy pacing outside. He's pacing.

3:05:21I like panties in a knot. Panties in a knot. Yes. I bet you like panties in a knot. I hate that word. Okay, now here's the deal. So what's he? First of all, Jay. He's jumping and the floor is shaking. I was like, is it an earthquake? Jay, what kind of place are we calling? Calling a beauty shop. Sweet. Okay, let me get some from listeners. Okay. Let's see. Mr. Green Thumb. Mr. Green Thumb, are you there? M1 Green Thumb? Hello. I can guess his. M1 Green Thumb. Nope. M1 Green Thumb. Oh, there you are. There you are. Are you there, M1 Green Thumb? I am here. What would you like us to have Woodsy incorporate? Well, first of all, Woodsy is amazing. I love it. Thank you. And I would like to have, you had me a hello. Love it. Wow, that's good. You had me a hello. I love it. I love it. Okay, thank you. Thanks, Chris. Bye. Thanks.

3:06:27M1, Chris. Hey, Mikey, how you doing? I've been working Jay pretty hard on this one. Mine is that little itch should be telling you something. Oh, that's great. Is that too long, though? Wood says you can't have anything that's too long. Is it too long? I don't know. What about that itch? What about the itch I have or something like that? That little itch should be telling you something. That's too long. It's going to be hard for you to squeeze it in. It's too long. All right, tweak it if you can. All right. I don't think it's too long. M1, River. Hi. Hi. I love cream of wheat. That's it. It is good, actually. I love cream of wheat. Thank you for the call. I want to know how she thought of that. I don't know. Was she eating cream of wheat? So you guys want to hear what we have? Yeah. Hang on, Woods. Hang on. Woods is giving me the sign like, what? Are we going to start? Yeah. All right. So here's the phrases that he's going to have to incorporate. We're going to call a beauty shop.

3:07:26The person on the line will not be able to hear me. They will only be able to hear Woods. And I will give him these words and phrases. And he will have to incorporate them into his conversation with the person that he's talking to. I love it so much. The phrases are, I love cream of wheat. You had me at hello. Panties in a knot. Breakfast at Tiffany's. Sham wow. And knickers. How many are there? Because last time we had five, and it didn't seem like enough. That's six. So should we get more? Yeah, we should get a couple more. All right. M1 Ponce. Morning, guys. Good morning. I say gnar boots. But that's a made-up word. Gnarly. It means, like, you know, gnarly. Me and my friends call it. Yeah, it can't be something that's just yours. It has to be, like, a real thing. Okay. It has to be, like, a real thing. M1 Devo. Yo, Mikey. Munchausen by proxy. Oh, my gosh. See, but the problem is he's not going to know what that is. I know what that is. Munchausen by proxy is hilarious, and I would be able to do that one because I know what it is. I think I know what it is. Isn't Munchausen when people will do stuff to their own kids just so that people will feel sorry for them? Yes. Creepy. Oh, like Eminem's mom. Yeah, like Eminem's mom.

3:08:54Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Well, two things. One, too creepy. Yeah. Two, there's no way he's going to know. Woods is freaking out. What about, like, gas station attendant? I like that. All your lines are lit up. Yeah, yeah, I'm taking M1 Sanjaya. What up, brother? Go ahead, knucklehead. Love it. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Brilliant. That's awesome. Thank you, dude. I think we have enough. Okay. We got enough. Are there any more good ones on there? One more little scan? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How about this one? Are you there, M1 Hammer? I'm here. What do you got? Pre-calculus. Pre-calculus. That's awesome. These are all good. Thank you. Okay, so here they are. I love cream of wheat. You had me at hello. Panties in a knot. Breakfast at Tiffany's. ShamWow. Knickers. Go ahead, knucklehead. And pre-calculus. Yes. You ready? Yeah. Come on in, Woods.

3:09:52In that order? Yeah, he's got to incorporate these into a phrase. It took a while. Really? We were helping you out, eliminating stuff. Yeah, we were trying to help you out. There's a couple that may have been too difficult, and we didn't put them through, so don't complain. Do you give me the first one now or no? No. Uh-uh. Once you get going. I am so excited right now. Make sure she can't hear you to do that thing. Yeah, we got the thing pressed down so she can't hear me. She'll only be able to hear you. Could be a Hebrew. Should we turn our mic down? It's a beauty store. I thought you called to make sure that somebody's there. Here we go. This is a beauty store? Yeah. Beauty shop? Hi, good morning. Who am I speaking with? Hey, this is Betty. I love Kramer. Hey, Betty, how are you? My name is Steve Woods. I had a few questions for you if you've got time. Oh, sure I do. Well, have you already had your breakfast or am I interrupting you? Good. Well, I actually just finished my cream of wheat. I love cream of wheat for breakfast. But I did have a few questions for you. Okay. Are you looking for a foil or a cut? Oh, me personally? No. I've got a few daughters that I'd like to get in there and set up for an appointment. But are you guys a reputable beauty shop?

3:11:25Yeah, are you guys reputable? Because you sound like a great lady. You know, you had me at hello. So I'm feeling good about it so far. How many daughters do you have? I've got three. And I'll tell you what, my wife will get her panties in a knot if I got to go in there and, you know, pay for all of them at the same time. So I was wondering if I could get appointments, you know, one on Monday, one on Tuesday, one on Wednesday. Would that work? Sure. So let's see if you're looking for updates. You know what? Actually, one of them's got prom. The theme that they're doing this year is Breakfast at Tiffany's, if you've ever seen that movie with Audrey Hepburn. And so she kind of wants that same hairdo for her prom. Shamwow. Yeah, well, no problem. You can updo, downdo, anything you want to do. Well, I like that. That rhymes. Have you ever seen those Shamwow commercials? Let's see. Is that a blowout, too, that you would like? No, no, no. I said, have you ever seen those Shamwow commercials? Yes, well, I'm actually, I have those in the store. Oh, good. Well, there's a spokesmodel on that program that my daughter thinks has the coolest hair ever. What she'll do is she'll bring a picture in to show you, and then that way you guys can copy that haircut. That's simple. Okay. Simple, simple. Yeah, and we'll just take some artistic liberty.

3:12:45Okay, good. Well, I'll hike up my knickers and I'll get my daughters ready to go. And I'll probably need to run it by the wife first and find out when she wants to get them all in. But I definitely think we're going to be using you guys. Go ahead, knucklehead. That'd be great. And, you know, it's cash money. It's only cash only? Only cash money here in Nashville. Uh-huh. Okay. Well, I will, again, I'll grab my wife and I'll, you know, ask her for money. And she'll probably tell me, go ahead, knucklehead, and take my wallet with you. And I'll be down there shortly. Great, great. And remind your girls that we do weeds. Say that one more time. Remind your girls that we do weeds as well. Okay, I'll probably have to pull one of them out of school early. She's in pre-calculus. But I'll grab her out early. And if we've got to make an earlier appointment, I will. And I really thank you for your time. Oh, well, thank you for calling daddy. You're a sweetheart. Thanks very much. That was fantastic. That was fantastic. Dude, that was fantastic. I will tell you what. That was fantastic. How do you do that? He goes, listen to this. Listen to this. So I go, when I said, go ahead, knucklehead, Woods looks at me and he goes, he mouths, really? Really? Really? You did it perfect. Dude, that was great. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. And be thinking about this the next time we do Incorporator. Now he's mad. No, I'm not mad at all.

3:14:04That's something that could be construed. If I was to say that to her, because that's an easy thing to be like, okay, go ahead, knucklehead, and slip it in there. That's what she said. When you're thinking about the incorporator, think about words that are hard to incorporate. Anybody can say at the end of a conversation, go ahead, knucklehead, and slip it in. He's right, and the other thing is too, random. For instance, Leonard Nimoy. Like if I say, if I go Leonard Nimoy and he's got to work Leonard Nimoy into a conversation. I love cream of wheat. Yeah. I was like, my heart should. I'm like, oh, this is the first one. I'm dead. I could practically see your heart pounding out of its chest. You know what? I'm not as pleased with that incorporator. The ShamWow one was kind of a stretch. I'll give you that. Why? It was kind of a stretch because. I don't know. I don't know. It just felt like a stretch. You're making too many rules now. No, no, no. You did great. No, no, no. Mine was a stretch. The way I executed it was kind of a stretch. It was brilliant. You did good. I wouldn't have changed a thing. They sell them at her shop. I'll tell you the only bad thing about that bit is that we have to stay quiet. Yeah, I know it. And it's so hard. And I am like, I turn my mic off. I'm still afraid on his mic I'm going to get picked up. I'm trying to think of the one.

3:15:22And there was one for each of you. How many did we do? One of them made Sienna almost pee her pants. How many did we do? Like eight? Seven. One, two. And see, we'll pick a number that you're comfortable with. But we did one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I think eight was perfect. You did five last time and you said we needed more. Was that too many? Or is that perfect? I'd say seven to eight is perfect. Because then it gets ridiculous. I think six to eight is probably good. It's one of my favorite. I love it. So good. I wish we could be like in another. Maybe we should go in Jays. You are sweating. Look at him. I'm sweating. I'm sitting there like, how's he going to work this in? And then you do it perfectly. Like panties in a knot. I was like, how are you about to do that? You said, my wife's going to get her panties in a knot. I tell her this. I'm going to pull my daughter at a pre-calculus. It was perfect. The theme of her prom is breakfast at Tiffany's. That was good. And you even knew Audrey Hepburn. I was like, wow. Fantastic. Thank you very much. Oh my gosh.

3:16:25For me and us, it's great. You've got to see him while we're doing it. If you watch that webcam, he's flipping out. We've got to do it on Friday. Because here's the thing. I don't want people to think that I know those phrases or words before. Because on my mother, when I walk in this room, I have no idea what Mikey's going to throw at me. So I want a live audience on Friday to see me do it so then they can... I hope nobody doubts it. I don't think they do. I think they know. He's standing right outside the window and I'm watching him flip out like hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry. He's shaking the studio floor. I mean, we told you he had to splash water on his face before he did this. Incorporator is the most, I have nightmares about it the night before. Because it's, I love to do it, but it's so stressful. It's so stressful. You're so good at it. Because here's the deal. That's a live call. And if I blow it, I blow it. And I look like a giant clown. It'll be funny either way, even if you blow it. I never want to blow one. So write that down. Are you guys ready to have Jay pick his movie? Yeah. Jay is picking the movie that we're going to see, and then we will tell you our thoughts on it tomorrow. Well, I was going to go see Shutter Island, but Mikey couldn't pull his panties up.

3:17:48I'm scared. Call out. So I'm going to go and see Sherlock. Sherlock Holmes. I'll be taking a nap. Don't worry about me. Here's a clip. I have a request. Someone I want to see. Sherlock Holmes. Underestimate the gravity of coming events. At midday, the world as you know it will end. Where? There's no time to waste them. The witness stated that he saw Lord Blackwood rise from the grave. Lawrence just ate one of my Tums, and she thought it was a myth. Are you serious? Chew it and swallow it. Do not waste it. It's wasteful. I was sitting in Woods' chair during that, and I almost ate one as well. Look at her face. Oh, she's got the face. It's so chalky. Oh, yeah, but can you imagine how many chemicals and non-organic that could be? Jay, is Jude Law in that movie?

3:19:05I don't know. Rachel McAdams. Oh, that's why you picked it? It might be okay. Dude, it's Robert Downey Jr. You can't go wrong. Yeah, he's pretty good. It's got like five stars, you know. It's like the only thing out there that I was like really felt drawn to. Yeah, it's perfect because I need a nap today anyway. My wife saw it and Rebecca said it was actually pretty good. That's what Matt says too, but. I'm stoked to see it. All right. I'm just so tired. We are seeing it. I'm bringing my sweatshirt and a little pillow. All right, what else we got? You guys are all whining about the movies. Some of these movies have been pretty good that we've seen so far. Yeah, Youth and Revolt was fabulous. Speaking of bad movies, what's the worst movie you love? Oh, I've got so many. What do you mean like a cheesy movie or something? Terrible movie. It's just a terrible movie that you adore. That you love it. I've gotten the number one, and I guarantee you will get some calls on it. Oh, I have one. Roadhouse. What about Grease 2?

3:20:04You love Grease 2? Everybody does, don't they? No, they don't. No, no. Everybody doesn't love Grease 2. Really? No. I've never seen it. It's bad. I thought all the girls love Grease and Grease 2. Grease is great. Grease 2 is like liking Jaws 2. Mark that down. I saw Grease 2 before I saw the original Grease. Are you kidding me? How is that possible? The original Grease was too commercial, so I wanted to go more the Indian ass. That's right. I saw it when I was a kid for like a May... It was like... Cut for TV. And so we had it on tape and cut the commercials out. Yeah. So when I saw it years later, there was all these scenes that were like edited out. And I was like, what? Mine's a movie that nobody's heard of. It's called Where's Papa? Who is in that? George Segal. George Segal or Segal? Segal, I think. George Segal. Segal. Yeah. It's the most inappropriate, politically incorrect movie. Ever, from the 1970s. It's from 1970. And it's absolutely hysterical. I liked Waterworld. Did you? Really? Yeah. Wow, so you're the one. Yeah. No, I mean, I haven't seen it in a long time, but I remember watching it and I was like, I love this. Kevin Costner, he has webs in his feet. Largely considered the worst box office film of all time. It was the most expensive film made at that time, too. Ever made. Ever, yeah.

3:21:32I know P1 Herald's going to call in, but dude, Over the Top is a bad movie that I love. Is that an arm wrestling movie? Yes, and I love it. He's got the secret move with his fingers. Karate Kid, Roadhouse. I loved Over the Top. Point Break. Never seen it. Get it. It's brilliant. Never seen it. Brilliant. You can call us with the worst movies you love. 570-1949. Mikey Show. On FM 94.9. Hey, morning, Dave. Morning, Sal. Looks like they gave me some of your mail by mistake. Uh-huh. Then you must have my missing lottery check. Nah, I'm keeping that. But here's the rest. Oh, wait, look. Another home loan offer. What you think?

3:22:46Indiana or Idaho? Where's it from? Not sure, but when I refinanced my home loan, I went closer to home. Really? Where? San Diego County Credit Union. San Diego County Credit Union handles home loans? Sure. Home loans, equity loans, refinancing, the whole enchilada. And they have a branch about a mile from here. Yeah, they're close, but... How about their rates? Really competitive. And San Diego County Credit Union's been around for over 70 years. So they aren't going anywhere, huh? Unlike me. I'm taking my kids to the park. Hey, let me know if my lottery check turns up. A great home loan is closer than you think. Just visit one of our convenient San Diego County Credit Union locations. Call 877-SDCCU for you. Or visit SDCCU.com. San Diego County Credit Union. Equal housing lender. Federally insured by NCUA. Hey Jack, sorry to bug you. Where do you usually get your car serviced? Same place I told you yesterday, Lisa. Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Thanks. Oh, hi Molly. You bought a Toyota, right? Yeah, from Toyota Carlsbad. Where do you get it serviced? At Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility.

3:23:46Ooh, Billy. Where everyone else goes, Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Sorry, but getting your car service right the first time is a big deal. That's why we all go to Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Master trained service technicians. Genuine Toyota parts. And it's the largest Toyota authorized service facility in San Diego County. Well, I guess my choice is clear. Good. Going back to work now. Shipping. This is Doug. Doug, where do you get your car? Stop it. Working. Toyota Carlsbad. Toyota owners now get a synthetic oil change starting at $49.95 plus tax and hazardous material fee. Text TOYOTASERVICE48696 for more specials. Visit Toyota Carlsbad New Parts and Service Center today, west of I-5 on Avenida Encinas, Carlsbad. See us online at toytacarlsbad.com. Pete, open up. Come on, man. We're going to Mickey D's for breakfast. Oh, no. I'm not going out there, man. The moment I step out this door, life starts costing me money. It's McDonald's, dude. You got a dollar, don't you? Maybe. Well, they got a new dollar menu at breakfast. Breakfast for a dollar? Yeah, all kinds of delicious things for just a buck at breakfast, like the sausage McMuffin or even a small premium roast coffee. No way. That's got Arabica beans. Yeah.

3:24:53How about a savory sausage biscuit, hash browns, a fruit and yogurt parfait, even your favorite? Not my sausage burrito with egg. Oh, it's on there. Start every day with value at McDonald's. The new dollar menu at breakfast has lots of delicious morning choices for just a buck, like a bold cup of premium roast coffee. You know, I do have a couple bucks for breakfast. At McDonald's, that makes you a very rich man. Price and participation may vary. Breakfast during breakfast hours only. Celebrate the end of your week with McDonald's $1.29 Filet-O-Fish Fridays. The famous Filet-O-Fish Sandwiches sits at $1.29 every Friday for a limited time. And you can enjoy free Wi-Fi. Every day at participating McDonald's. To communicate the sheer speed of high-speed internet from AT&T, we decided to use the actors who usually read the legal disclaimers at the end of commercials for the whole commercial. Hey, Lisa, check this out. What is it, Dad? I'm doing my homework. I've got lots of homework. But look at all these cool videos I downloaded on the computer. They download it so fast. Dad, we have high-speed internet from AT&T. That makes everything fast. What did you download? Watch this. That is lame. What about this one? That is lame. This one.

3:25:55That is lame. Come on, that kid just got hit in the face with a dodgeball. Here, watch it again. You should use high-speed internet from AT&T to download music. How much longer are you going to hog the computer? For a limited time, see store for details. Like I haven't heard that before. Gets me every time. Switch to high-speed internet from AT&T. Choose any speed for just $24.95 a month for 12 months with qualifying services and a one-year term. That's a one-year price guarantee. Call 1-800-ATT-4U or visit att.com slash speed. The new AT&T, your world delivered. Taxes, excessive usage, and other charges may apply. After 12 months, non-discounted rate for internet service applies. For details, visit att.com slash offer details or for N71710. My parents sure knew how to stretch a dollar. My father didn't work for 10 years, but by gum, I had new school clothes every year. Of course, they were hand-me-downs from my older sister, but she drove a truck, so I guess I lucked out. The point is, you and your family can have fun this winter without breaking the bank. Just pack up the kids, siphon some gas, and come to Big Bear Mountain Resorts. In less than two hours, you'll be in the fresh alpine air, having fun in the snow.

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3:28:08USAA does not charge a fee for the first 10 ATM withdrawals and refunds up to $15 in other banks ATM usage fees each month. Eligibility restrictions apply. Real estate program provided by USAA Relocation Services Incorporated and is not available in all states. iPhone is a trademark of Apple Incorporated. Bank products provided by USAA Federal Savings Bank and Equal Housing Lender. Member FDIC. FM 94.9 presents Manchester Orchestra with the features 50 Clyro and Old Brothers Sunday at House of Blues. Manchester Orchestra live Sunday at House of Blues. Tickets available at LiveNation.com. Are we awake? This is not a dream. This is reality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, more of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. These movies that we're getting are funny. I know. We're asking people to call us right now. What's yours again, Mike? It's called Where's Papa? What's yours, Sienna? Waterworld. Mine is Roadhouse. What about yours? Lauren? Grease 2. Grease 2. Jay, what about Jay? Jay Bird. Jay Bird. You got one? I really don't think I have one. Really? All the movies I like are good. Sherlock. Yes. Dude, one of them on the phone right now is a movie that I actually walked out of.

3:29:50It's one of the only movies I've ever walked out of the theater. True story. M1 James? Yes. Tell everyone what it is. It's called A Hard Target with Jean-Claude Van Damme. It's one of the only movies I ever actually got up and left the theater. So that was actually in the theater? It was in the theater. You caught it in the one day, then it was in the theater. And let me tell you, James, I was, like, looking forward to that movie. Yeah, it was... cheesy, but it's the best line of the whole movie is on the end, which you might not have called. I didn't see it. Didn't see the end. He pulls the pen out of a grenade, right? Because, you know, that's possible. For the fuse, sorry. Right. And then he pulls it out, and it sparks. He goes, it sparks again, and it explodes. Unbelievable. Spoiler. It's amazing. Thank you. Thank you, James. Yeah, that's a spoiler. Now, how am I ever going to be able to enjoy it? And Lauren, too. That's right. Yeah, Lauren, now you can't rent Hard Target. Apparently the premise is he hunts homeless people. I don't even know what it is. Don't even know. It sounded terrible to me. Is that what it is? That's what he said, dude. He said he's in New Orleans. Not that that's funny, but that's his bit. M1PC. Yeah. What's the worst movie you loved? Felix the Cat, the movie. Who's in it? It's an animation, right?

3:31:17It's an old cartoon from the 90s, but it's the worst animation. It was so cheaply made, it's terrible. Yeah, I remember Felix the Cat when I was a kid. Didn't know they made it into a movie. Thank you very much. This is the worst. M1, Jeffro. Yeah, how you guys doing? Good. Hey, I think Big Trouble in Little China. Oh! Dude. Terrible. Kurt Russell? Can I put a bid in for next week's Incorporator? Yeah, what do you got? I'll write it down and remember it. Skidmark. Skidmark. All right. I'm writing it down. Piece of cake. Awesome. Thanks, guys. Thank you. It should be like, I think I see a skidmark. There you go. Give me something hard to do, man. Hopefully, you'll call a tire shop. I got a buddy that just texted in, worst bad movie, best bad movie of all time. What? And he may have me beat on Roadhouse. European Vacation. Oh, I love that movie. I could watch it over and over and over. It's not a bad movie. It's a classic. Never seen it. Genius. Hey, look, kids. Big Ben. Parliament. M1 John. What's going on, Mikey? Not too much. Dude, Twister is the biggest movie ever. I actually liked it. I liked it. I kind of did too. Helen Hunt? Yeah. I liked it too. I liked it too. The thing is, I was a film theory and criticism major in college. I absolutely loved that movie. Yeah. So you like Fellini and all these, and then you're like, and I love Bill Paxton and Twister. Twister. Makes my day.

3:32:43So epically awful. I love it. I love it. Thank you, bro. This is the point of this game, which we knew it would be good because everybody has that one that they're just like, I can't believe I love this movie. Yeah. I actually, I have a feeling. People will, it's always recommendations, man. It's always somebody thinking that I'm really going to love something. I've got a couple friend in Dallas, the Bodics. Yeah. Every time they tell Jamie and I to see a movie, we make it no less than 15 minutes through the DVD. And I'm like. Why do you keep doing it then? I don't know because I keep thinking you cannot have that bad of taste in movies. Yeah. They loved that Ashton Kutcher movie when he goes to Europe with his wife. They thought it was hysterical. Just married. And Euro Trip they thought was genius. Like the next animal house. You know. Lauren actually mentioned a documentary she watched last night that my wife and I considered good because we watch every documentary made. Yeah. On lettuce. Yeah, we would watch a documentary on lettuce. We really would. What is it called? Something about Sean. Following Sean or... Where is Sean? Watching Sean. Oh, for the love of God.

3:33:54No, it is. It's called Falling Johnson. No, I fell asleep during it, but it's about this kid who was four years old. And in 1969, he was living in Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco. And he talks about smoking. Can I say that? Smoking pot? Yeah. He talks about smoking grass and how the cops are the oppressors and all that stuff. Oh, here comes Hoyle. Did somebody just say pot? Yeah, it was Woods. No, it wasn't me. Woods, Woods, Woods. It wasn't me. Don't say pot on the radio, man. That ain't funny. Oh, is that right? Did I get it right finally? No. Ready, ready, ready. Did I get it right finally? Hit the horn until something funny said, and then if something funny you said, you wait 1,001. All right, so teach me again. Is that our general manager? That's your boss. I've never heard Lauren laugh so hard. That ain't my boss. I'm his boss. Oh, you're his boss? Go get him. Oh, that was hilarious. Our general manager, your boss, Hoyle, just came in with a squeaky toy so that we could add, and then he left. I don't ever, ever want to see a manager walking into the talent while they're trying to perform. Oh, really? What were you doing exactly? I'm the station manager, sweetheart. It's the same thing. Hang on a second, Tootsie.

3:35:17Priceless. I've tried to tell. It is always a mistake for a general manager to think that he can come into woods. Don't woods. Don't hit the horn. Now, see, that's funny. Okay, what do you think of this one? Our GM just brought this in. First of all, he... Works for me. No. He came in and you surged your power already? Excuse me. He doesn't work for you. Excuse me. I'm the station manager. He works for me. No. Excuse me. No. Somebody's coming throwing their little tiny weight around already. First of all, he doesn't have his dockers on, and I said dockers. Everybody's got to wear dockers. That ain't funny, Woods. Woods. I guess I don't know what your definition of funny is, man. If I say a joke, you wait 1,001, hit the horn.

3:36:18All right? I did it with Dugan and Booger back in... Dugan and Booger wasn't a joke? Dugan and Booger was actually a morning show. I hired them. All right? I guess, hey, again, I don't think we get your bit. You're hitting all the sounds at the set. Don't do that. Don't. You gotta what? That's like Toy Story. Rick, how do you, I mean, this guy has come in, he's been here one day. Rick, you can't come in to the talent if you're a manager. What are you doing here? I'm the station manager. Isn't manager in that title? Right, but it makes sense because I'm funny. Rick's funny? Excuse me, excuse me. I went.

3:37:18to the O'Donovan Comedy School, all right? O'Donovan. Where was that located, by the way? It was in Tallahassee. It was a seven-week course. Y'all! Y'all are hitting the things before you're supposed to hit them. You can't just fire them off. You made a joke. You said you went to Tallahassee. First of all, it ain't Tallahassee. It's Tallahassee. And second of all, that wasn't a joke. That was a real seminar. And it worked. O'Donovan? O'Donovan. I've gone to various different comedy schools. I've got to know who pulled the trigger on this guy. I'm just trying to catch up. Seriously. Apparently, we all have a lot to learn about how morning radio and comedy is done. Just don't get me in trouble. I won't. Rick's our general manager. He's a good hire. I hired him. You did? He was here when I started and you weren't. Yeah, you just showed up today. Rick, did Garrett get his Dockers yet? I think he already owns them. Everybody's got to have Dockers. We're not wearing Dockers. This is a rock and roll station, dude. Woods, I told you I got rock and roll under my fingernails. Stop it.

3:38:30Hoyle, I think, is taking some liberties around here. He's telling you. I'm telling you. He's walking right out of here. Bye, Hoyle. I'm leaving. Speaking of panties and a knot, I think Hoyle has his panties and a knot. That's fantastic. His dockers. You got to learn how to use those things. You really got to learn how to use those things. Well, apparently. Did you hear about Sarah Palin last night? Speaking of comedy, Sarah Palin last night did some stand-up comedy on The Tonight Show. And we have the audio next. The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. If you're in the market for a new car, here are some important things to consider. Ford is far and away America's strongest automaker, offering models built for San Diego. Ford Fusion was just named Motor Trend's 2010 Car of the Year. Fusion Hybrid delivers up to 41 miles per gallon in the city. That's even better than Camry Hybrid. Ford Escape is fast becoming San Diego's favorite SUV with a hybrid model that gets 34 miles per gallon in the city.

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3:47:33And the principal would come sit in the room and observe the teacher. That's what I feel like right now. So uncomfortable. Like maybe don't stand over my shoulder when I'm trying to go to the bathroom, pal. I didn't stand over your shoulder when you've gone to the bathroom. You couldn't see over my belt. That's why. What? Don't make comments that are going to get us a fine by the FCC. Like what? Going to the bathroom? Can't say bathroom on the radio. You're going to get everyone fired. Everyone's fired. You know, Sienna, I think y'all are trying to make jokes when you shouldn't be, number one. I've been taking some notes. You ever heard of micromanagement, pal? You ever hear of a person that's able to take a radio station like WCBY from number 19 to number one in one ratings period? Where was that?

3:48:36That was in Albany, Georgia. Wow. You're a real city slicker. Hang on a minute before you go judging Albany, Georgia. Before you go judging, let me tell you something. That radio station had never heard of the Smashing Pumpkins before I got there. And you brought them there. I bet they loved them. That wasn't a joke, Sienna. You hit that horn on me like that makes it seem like I said something funny. That wasn't a joke? Everything you say is funny. Stop hitting the things at the same time. You're supposed to hit them a second after I say it. But it's a special effect. You said if it's something funny. It's not special effects. What is it? That's what it was in the movie Independence Day. This ain't no. Well, you said that it adds something, so we're adding the double. It does if you hit it after 1,001. You told us earlier. You told us earlier to take, instead of doing contests and things like that, we should take like the sixth caller. Caller number six. Caller number six. Call in and tell us if our new station manager is a clown. Oh, really? How about that? Oh, really? We don't need to say he's a clown. I'm not a clown. Caller number six. Call in. Did one of y'all say pot? Lauren did. What? You said pot? Okay. I said smoking grass. Mikey said smoking pot.

3:50:02Mikey said it? Yeah. I knew he was going to be a problem. Here's what I said. I went and talked to general manager Rick and I said, first of all, he's going to get us in trouble because he goes on the air and he makes jokes about his heritage. I ain't kidding around. Then I said, then I said, Woods can't be making jokes about going to the toilet. It ain't funny. Hoyle. And then I said, and then I said, Sienna can't be making jokes about her breasts. Don't. Why can't I? Because it's going to get us in trouble with the FCC. No, but it's funny. I don't think it will. I guarantee it will. I ran into it. Let's just zip it for a minute because we've got some funny audio. Yep. It's like really funny. Lugnut and Tom got fired for it.

3:51:13Here's Sarah Palin on the Leno show last night. Her comedy debut. Any moment. I'm cringing already. You know, Mike. Knock, knock is what we say in Alaska. I'm so happy to get to be here. This is a thrill of a lifetime, really. And Alaska being so different from Los Angeles. Here, when people have a frozen look on their face, I find out it's Botox. Botox. It was five degrees below Congress's approval rating. Her delivery's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Lauren, will you give her that it's not as bad as you thought it would be? According to Hoyle, it's better than mine. It's not bad, y'all. I think her just being her is actually funnier than this. Right on the show, what an amazing athlete. I watched him do a double McTwist 1260.

3:52:24And the only other people to do a double McTwist 1260 was last week, the White House on health care. Wow. See, it makes everything funny. It sure does. You're right, Hoyle. Great to be on the same show as Sean White. Last time I was this close to the flying tomato was when someone threw one at me at a book signing. That one was weak. That wasn't that funny. No, that was pretty weak. That's something I thought you would... probably find funny. You know what she should have said after that? What? Waka waka! I watched the Winter Olympics. Skiing, fighting on the ice, skating, bobsledding. In Alaska, that's our morning commute. Amazing closing ceremony. It was beautiful. The minute I saw the giant moose, I remembered hadn't cooked anything for the kids' dinner. All so predictable. The punchline is so predictable. Does she ever talk about Alaska?

3:53:44It's like George Lopez. We get it, dude. You're Latino. Okay? Maybe get some other bits. To the Lord. Yeah. Maybe have something else be... Hey, I'm Latino! Yeah, we get it, dude. Well, every... point of view is about being Latino. Right. It's not about going to the ATM. Hey, you ever been a Mexican and gone to the ATM, man? It doesn't matter what it is. It's not about going to the grocery store. Hey, man, you ever seen a Mexican at a grocery store? Why don't you just talk about going to the grocery store? It's so awful. 570-1949. Beginning and end of every show, we do open phones, so you can call right now about anything you want. Has Hillary met Hoyle yet? No, but I'm going to ask her about Dockers later and make sure everybody... It's our new station manager. Yeah, from now... This is our new station manager. Hi. Nice to meet you. Here's the deal, Hillary. Every time... I'm going to have Woods be the horn handler. Every time you say something funny on the air, and this goes for all of y'all, all right? I'm going to send a memo out later today. But it goes for everyone. It goes for you. It goes for Tommy. It goes for...

3:54:57Dr. Evil, who does the nighttime thing. Perfect. That was funny. I'm getting it. Do you understand? I'm getting it. After y'all say something funny, 1001, honk. Okay. Do you understand? So I have to honk? Yeah, you do. I'm getting a honker. You do it. Big Sonic Chill does it. Tommy does it. Don't matter who's on the air. So, like, Hillary, like, you would say. Here's the new one by Phoenix. No, Woods. Right? Is that what you mean? No, because that ain't funny. If she says a joke, like if she says that's what she said. Oh, boy. So I get it. Now, if something funny. So if you said we're going to play the new one by Chevelle, that would be funny. No, no. Right, okay. Now you're getting it. Now you're getting it. So we'll leave this in here for you and your shift. Thank you. And you better make this guy happy. I think it's going to add a lot to my show. It really will. Kodak and Skidmark tried it for the first time when I was working with them back in Mobile. Mobile, Alabama? That's right.

3:56:09Kodak and Skidmark. Kodak and Skidmark took them to number one in two books. Number one out of three, probably. That was number one out of three books, and then I got let go. Why? Well, it didn't do very well there, but they did. They went on to be number one. Oh, you didn't do very well. I didn't do well. You probably introduced some really old, corny bits. Yeah, I introduced a couple things they didn't think were very funny. Imagine that. It's like maybe something like... I actually thought it would be funny if we brought a real-life cannon into the studio to fire off after every joke. Didn't go over so well. No, we destroyed the radio station. But Kodak and Skidmark did great. Anyway, it's wonderful. It's 5 o'clock somewhere, y'all. Oh, wow. It's nice to meet you, Hoyle. Nice to meet you too, Hillary. Hoyle and Hillary. Maybe he sits in on your show. What do you think we do a show together? See, that's the other thing, y'all. Radio magic. The other thing is, is you do it if it sounds good. Hoyle and Hillary. How about Hillary and Hoyle? She's got a little seniority on you. That's fine. You guys can wear matching pink dockers. That's right.

3:57:20Maybe you guys could alternate records. Like, you could play the new Spoon, and he could play Lynyrd Skynyrd. You could play Spoon, you could play Knives, you could play whatever you want, y'all. Oh, my goodness. We're going straight to number one. Yeah, we are. All right, we got to get out of here. Lovely and talented Hillary's up next. That's not a joke. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. The Mikey Show's out late. All day and night. Of 94.9, it's about the music.