The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/05/10
Friday, March 5, 2010
Friday March 5, 2010
Mike flubs the daily intros, thrown off by The Kid not wearing glasses. Sienna gives a list of ways to be safe while running. Mikey reads an interesting email involving vigilante justice and when to get involved in a fracas. Woodsie holds back on the Lauren’s rooster tat jokes delve into a conversation about bad tattoos and the M1s call in with theirs. Woods tells about Bauman’s awesome plan for his first KISS concert. Another Incorporator! Jay dials up an oil change place where Woods eats Tums like candy before filleting the unaware grease monkey on the line! Sienna gives the 10 Signs That Let Ladies Know when a dude is smitten and of course, Frankie the Italian Guy calls in to hit on Woods. Laurens boyfriend Matt shows up in studio to dish on Lauren and tells about his struggles to tell her he loves her which sounded more like a job interview! Neil Diamond chimes in with a love song on cue while Mama Testa delivered grub for the studio and guests. Mikey admits embarrassing love moves involving Amy Grant and Peter Cetera and writing on a girls hand. Lauren’s Matt returns to entertain with a song called “Caught Being Creepy” which Mikey, Woods, and our own M1 Hot Dog Water can relate to. Bill Clinton claims he had heart surgery without anesthesia. Si reads new releases, Mikey does his testimony, and the weekend begins.
chargers roster changesincorporator gametattooselvis sandwichlove confessionscreepy songchelsea king poempersonal testimonychargersincorporatortattooelvis
The show featured an interview with Kevin Acey about Chargers player moves, a playful Incorporator game where Woodsy used listener words in a call, personal stories including Lauren's rooster tattoo, Mikey's hand‑spelled love confession, and Matt's song "Caught Being Creepy", plus a clip of Chelsea King's parents and Mikey's emotional testimony about childhood abuse and finding faith.
What happened, in order
Chargers roster shakeup
Kevin Acey discusses Darren Sproles, Jamal Williams, and Antonio Cromartie leaving the Chargers and what it means for the team.
Lauren's ankle rooster tattoo
Lauren shows off a large rooster tattoo on her ankle that she got while in Hawaii.
Incorporator game explained
Woodsy must incorporate listener‑submitted words and phrases into a live phone call to an oil change shop.
Chelsea King's parents on Today
The show airs a live clip of Chelsea King’s parents reading her poem on the Today Show.
Elvis' infamous fried sandwich
A caller describes Elvis’s peanut butter, banana, honey, and bacon sandwich fried in butter.
Mikey's hand‑spelled love confession
At age 15, Mikey spelled “I love you” in Melanie Kosher’s palm while listening to a cassette, and she licked it back.
Matt's creepy confession song
Matt Commerce performs his humorous song “Caught Being Creepy” about awkward moments where he was caught being creepy.
Mikey's abuse survival and faith story
Mikey reveals he was sexually abused at age five and later turned his life over to Jesus for hope and healing.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienSiennaJayKevin AceyDarren SprolesJamal WilliamsAntonio CromartieAntoine CasonMatt CommerceJasmine CommerceMelanie KosherNeil Diamond
39,604 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. It's a Mikey Show with a live studio audience. We've got a live studio audience, and the reason, it's Friday. And we do that on Friday. Welcome to the program. You can call us right now if you'd like to. Our phone number is 570-1949. And we are ready to rock, man. We have a gigantic, packed show today. First of all, a little bit later on. And by a little bit later on, I mean about 25 minutes. We're going to be talking to San Diego Union Tribune staff writer Kevin Acey.
about some very, very, very big Charger stuff. So we'll fill you in on that. And plus, we're going to be talking about all sorts of things that you can call in about. You can call right now, 570-1949. And M1 is a Mikey Show listener. So when you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, you don't cuss. That makes you an M1, a part of the M1 nation. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 39 years of age. And do not plan on having any more kids. 39 years old, I just think it's time to hang up the kid-having boots. Are they feeling better now, at least? Yeah, they are. All three of them were sick. So rough. I know it. Yeah, I just, you know, 39. I'm thinking about doing the snip. Really? Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. Only thing about the snip is that I've heard that the snip... Hurts? Yeah. I just had three dudes. I was having lunch with a bunch of dudes, and three of them go, all that stuff you hear about the snip not hurting, they're like, forget that. The snip hurts. Yeah. I don't think they're doing cartwheels going into that building. Yeah. Well, I've heard both. I've heard, ah, dude, it's nothing. Yeah. And then from these two dudes that did it, or three guys that did it.
One of them said, oh, I was so embarrassed because I had tears welling up in my eyes as they were going. Nope, nope, nope. You know, like a little gout. Was nothing, Jay? No big deal. Really? No big deal. Just like a walk. I did take advantage of the weekend, though. Like it was a big deal. I just sat there. Oh, a piece of a drink. Right. A blanket would be good. Right. A blanket. A blanket. Yeah. And Boondock Saints and the DVD player. I can't reach the controller. Can you control the TV for me? Hot chocolate with marshmallows. Don't forget the marshmallows. That's right. So I'm the host of the show. Woodsy is our news guy. He is 34 years old. And sports. Did I say sports? News? Sorry. It was the fact that you were putting your contacts in today. It threw me off. The contacts are in today. I'm not used to seeing without the glasses. It threw me off a little bit. Sorry. Woodsy is flying home. I am. And we're going to talk about that a little bit later. Let's see. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer and she is 24 years old. No. Why are you? You're giving everyone my information. Let's reset. I know. You're Mikey. I do this. I do this. Every once in a while, I'll be like, you know, I've been married to Steve now for five years. We've got three beautiful children. And, you know.
Woods is, that's what happens. Your name is Mikey Esparza? Yeah. Esperanza. I should have let you go with the 24. I know. You should have. I know. What's wrong with me? Lauren is 29, and she is our assistant producer. Sienna is who I was thinking of, who's the 24-year-old. And the news one. And does news as well. And Sienna. It sits to my left. And then Jay is 46. He is our executive producer. And he's separated by glass in another room. And you're an M1. And we want you to call 570-1949. Or if you're too shy to call in, you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. But we're really nice. And so if you call us, we'll be nice to you when we put you on the radio. There's such big news out there. One of the things going on is there are college protests happening today in San Diego that are a really big deal. Yeah, they're happening all over California. UC Davis, Berkeley, I mean, all up the coast because I'm sure you've heard that they're raising student fees. Now, you know, the economy's bad. People don't like this. And not only do students have to pay more, but faculty and staff are losing jobs. Really? And it's just becoming, you know.
Way too many people in one classroom. Students can't learn as much. It's just distracting. Right. So there was a huge protest here in San Diego yesterday. It started in Balboa Park. And about 3,000 people, there were estimated about 3,000 people walked from Balboa Park to downtown San Diego to the governor's office building on Front Street. There were like all kinds of kazoos and noises. Kazoos. Cowbells. I mean, they're not messing around. So this has also been going on on the campuses as well. San Diego State and the Aztec Center, UCSD on their main campus. Was there really kazoos out there? No, but there were cowbells and tambourines. I'm sure there were kazoos. Maybe there were. I would bring a kazoo. You would? Mm-hmm. I don't know that they're going to take you as seriously. Yeah, if you're rocking the kazoo. Or a cowbell. I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. Will they? Will they take you seriously if that's a deal? So they're claiming, you know, people are recalling out about the UC president, Mark Udolph, saying he needs to quit. You know, he's ruining everything. And it's not just him. You know, San Diego State, other state schools, too, are having problems. See, I'm not a fan of the protest. It's our American right, so if you want to protest, you can. I'm just not a fan of the protest because I don't really feel that a protest does much. I've never been a...
I've never had a feeling that if you go out there and you protest, it's really going to change anything. But it will, you know, it causes a spectacle and everybody looks at it. And that is true. It does do that. So, like, let's say that the point of a protest where you get people to look at it and go, oh, my goodness, look, there's a lot of young people gathered together with signs. Mission accomplished, I would say. Definitely mission accomplished. But if it were, you know. let's get these tuitions lowered and let's get that. I don't know that's necessarily going to happen from the protest, but if it does, that'd be awesome. That'd be really great. I never understand the protests that are like those big long banners outside of a business, you know? Yeah. I mean, like, don't you need to be at work? Yeah. Right? Well, here's the thing with those. Those protests, the ones that always begin with two words, shame on, and then, you know, whatever, you know, fill in the blank, but they begin with shame on, you know, so. Shame on so-and-so. And then they may give a very brief description on the banner of what we're supposed to cast our shame upon them for. But, yeah, I don't do anything. I read it and I go, I don't know. I just walk right in the store. Yeah, me too. I'm like, well, I need eggs. You guys don't sign petitions and stuff when asked to? Yeah, sometimes. But most of the time, I'm just, you know, it depends on if it's really something serious. Sure. If I come outside of Henry's and they got the Greenpeace stuff going on, I'm like, honestly, you know.
I got a kid at home I got to give some Motrin to. I never sign up. Lauren O'Brien. Are you a petition signer? I just don't think, I think there's a forum for it. And I don't think coming out of Target and Henry's is the forum for it. Clearly on a mission, either on my way in or out to be somewhere. Now, what about with a protest? What's your feeling on the protest? I know. I could see her protesting. I've never taken part in one, but I like when they all have kind of like uniform signs so I know what they're talking about because I go right home and I Google it and I'm like, what are they talking about? Really? Yeah, but I would never join one and, you know, I like to honk my horn when I... Agreed with what they're talking about. Write that down. Mikey, do you get the nervous sweats like I do when you pull into Target?
And you're, you park your car and you're walking, you know, you're walking down the row and you look up and you see like a table set up. The bright green t-shirts and stuff. And I start sweating. And I'm like, oh God, what are they going to ask me to do? What do I have to do? And I immediately start sweating. I'm like, no Girl Scout cookies. No, I do love, I'm already a member of the SPCA and I'm like just fending them off. What's my excuse? And I just, I do the fake cell phone bit. You do? Walking down the row, I do it. Oh, hey mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just running into Target real quick. I'll be back. Me too. Awesome. I love that. I get so wigged out. Yeah, I do have anxiety with it. I do because I, you know, I don't want to say no because I don't like to say no. It's hard for me to say no. But at the same time. I know that if we start to talk in front of Walmart, we're going to talk for a while. And I don't have, I'm sorry. I don't have that time. If you let them talk for a while too, like say you're talking for two minutes and then you say, you know, I'm not really interested. They're mad. You just wasted two minutes. They're mad no matter what. It's like lose, lose. You know, you just feel like a bad person. Here's a feeling that I get when I come out. I get the feeling that if I don't want to talk about whales, I hate whales and I don't.
You know, I don't hate whales. But if I don't talk to them, they give me this impression that I'm a monstrous whale harpooner that wants nothing more in the world than to harpoon whales. And, you know, did you know that in China right now there is the illegal whaling? And I'm like, OK, it's cool. I got to get home. And honestly, in my head, I'm thinking. I have a frozen food product in this bag. These popsicles are melting. And they're melting right now. And I know I should care about those whales. But honestly, if I'm making priorities right now. Creamsicles. I'm telling you, that creamsicle is 50 billions times more important to me right now than those whales getting harpooned. Which to them, they're taking this time out to be there. It is the single most important thing is those whales getting saved. I'm like, oh my gosh, I've had to pee for 20 minutes. Wouldn't they rather people make an informed decision and not just on the spot be like, whales, I'm in. Yeah. You know, like, shouldn't I think of like, I'll tell you what, let's make an appointment. You come over to the house. My wife will make some dinner and we sit down and we discuss this. But at the end of the night, if I decide I'm not really interested in the whales, please don't destroy my spirit by telling me what a monster I am.
I can bet you could be shamed into loving the whales. Of course I could. Mikey would not be able to say no. Of course. If they can get a hook in you for one second. No pun intended. No pun intended. No pun intended. If they can harpoon you, Mike, into believing that their cause is the most important cause. They'll get you. Mikey's pulling out his checkbook. Yeah, whatever you guys need. Yeah, please. Just don't hate me. Just don't hate me. Please don't dislike me. They will blubber on and on about it. Oh, nice. You're just speaking out of your blowhole now. Not as good as Jay's. It's pretty good, though. Let's see. Okay, so the college protest, that's all happening today. We wish them luck because that is like a really important cause. And, you know, if they're hiking up fees a bunch, that sucks. Getting rid of teachers. I agree with that. You know what? If the deal is, is that they're making it known. And now we kind of think about it. And maybe we as citizens go, you know what? We care about that. And we're going to. I think what those signs should say is call this number. You know? Yeah. Or go to this website. It'll change us. Yep. It'll get us to do something different. Go to this website. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The signs that I see in the pictures say, defending my right to learn. Oh, boy. That doesn't tell me anything. Yeah, that's true.
Have a ball. Yeah, it just doesn't, you know. Matt and I came up on a corner the other day, and they were holding up signs about the war, about health care, about, like, all these things. And your eye couldn't even process. Yeah. Overload. So he's like, basically, they're protesting everything. Everything. Yeah. So, yep, I'm bored. Yeah, to all that. Like, you're yelling out your window. Yeah. Yes. No, we won't go. Yes. No, yeah. There are some people that love. The idea of a protest, like, hey, I want to be in on that. You know why? Why? Because their parents were at Woodstock and grew up in the 60s. They hear all these stories about how great it was. And, man, we changed this and we changed that. And now. Yeah. My dad said filthy hippies. And so I'm out. Right. You either had a dad that was like, yes. Yeah. You know, viva la raza, which my dad said that, too. You know, my dad said a lot of the Viva La Raza. Dad, I'm so sorry. Boy, you speak some great Latino. Viva La Raza. Double R? Yeah, my dad will stand over me with a ruler for not rolling those R's right. So he was kind of both, you know, because he was in the Navy. So he was a little Viva La Raza, and he was also a little, like, filthy hippies with their Beatles haircuts, you know? There's a little bit of that, too. And so I'm on both sides of the fence on that one.
They are now issuing safety guidelines for runners. They are. Which I think is a great thing. Absolutely. Right? Mm-hmm. And obviously, because, and we were talking about this, you know, obviously with Chelsea King dying and everything that's happening with that. people are really starting to take notice of it and talk about it. And so what are the safety guidelines for runners? Well, the San Diego County Sheriff's Deputy Martha Hernandez is also a long-distance runner, and she has offered some practical tips for runners like Lauren, you know, who like to run alone. My wife, too. And Mikey. And Mikey, of course. And me. Of course. Well, they do say, here's just like a bunch of little bullet points for you. Let people know where you will be running and how long you'll be gone. Is that pretty accurate? You know, are you usually gone about the same time? Could you be like, oh, I'll be back in like an hour? Yeah, I think if you know what you're going to do that day, yeah. I usually have an idea. I'd be like, I'll be back in half an hour and come back like two hours later. I'll see you in three minutes. Right. And you know what's funny is that Lauren was talking about how when she was in high school, she scared her parents really bad for that exact reason. They expected her home at a certain time.
And she didn't come home because she decided, you know what, I'm feeling pretty good. I think I'm going to go on an extra long run today. And her dad got, you know, pretty scared. And so that's a great tip. Also, run with a buddy and or a dog. Thank you. Thank you. Great idea. Preferably a gigantic mean dog. Because if anything, I mean, I was thinking about my dog that's six pounds, a miniature wiener dog. Right. And like she couldn't do anything, but she would bark. Yeah. She would bark a lot. You add all mine up. and they weigh like 20 pounds. Yeah. All of your Yorkie terriers? Yeah. All my Yorkshire terriers. Got little Yorkies. And their stroller. You don't worry about it. Do you run with a stroller? You don't worry about it. There's a jogging stroller. A jogging stroller for his four Yorkies. You don't worry about it. They have little seatbelts. Yeah. Do your running shoes ever get caught on your juicy velour sweatpants as you're... As you're running. Are those pictures up yet, by the way? Yeah, I put them on the Mikey Show Facebook page. No, really? Please go to the Facebook page for the Mikey Show. Just go to Facebook and type in the Mikey Show. And you can join the Mikey Show fan club on Facebook. The other day, late in the show, we were discussing how Woods had said to Sienna.
at the movie theater the other day that he wished that he could wear velour shorts like she or velour sweats pants like she does because they looked comfortable. Super comfortable. Super comfortable. Very soft. And so obviously our M1s were on that immediately. What just happened? It doesn't say juicy though. She just saw the picture. I haven't seen it. Go to the Mikey Show fan page. And there is a picture of Woods. I was really hoping it was going to be green. I know. I know. I wish we could do. The juicy one? The juicy. Somebody will get it. Pants on the butt. But it's a picture of him in a green velour sweat pant. I look like one of the Sopranos, dude. I don't know what they were. I think that looks great. Look at that. I love the one from him looking behind over his shoulder. I look like Chris Moltisanti. It's awesome. It's awesome. That was M1 Photoshop who put that together for us. Thank you, M1 Photoshop. Brilliant. That is awesome. Again, Lauren? Look at her. Did she just hit her leg? She banged her knee again. Why do you keep hitting your knee? It's this corner. How long did I sit there and this never happened? It's the sharpest. It's like a razor blade right here. And she gets up and swings her leg around and just bam. We need to put foam around it or something.
Yeah, or maybe we should wrap Lauren in bubble wrap. Yeah. That would be the better idea. This has, like, been the worst move for her to this seat. I know. So far. Maybe we can move her to a position where the knee doesn't bump the thing. Yeah, I need to. Slide. You slide. See, I think I sat over there. I know you do. I like to see Jay. I'll take care of her. We need you around. That's the problem. There you go. That's perfect. You're going to have some bruises. I can't take care of you, dude. What else? Give me another tip. Okay. Run in well-populated areas where you're also highly visible. You know, don't be going off on private trails where no one's going to see you for 20 minutes. Absolutely. Be aware of your surroundings. Also, don't become too distracted with your iPod or whatever music you may be listening to. Make sure the volume's low so you can, you know, have an idea of what's going on around you, especially even if it's just cars. You know, a lot of times there may be a hybrid sneaking up. You can't hear it. I know it, right? You can't hear it. That's true. I almost got hit. by one and i was thinking about the uh because uh um believe it or not oh man a lot of people are going to find this very hard to believe but believe it or not in the summertime occasionally i walk i know i know i know i believe it i know like everyone's waiting everyone's waiting no i'm being serious to get the mail uh no no occasionally i will walk
And this area that I walk is like a trail, and there's snakes all over. Yeah. Yeah, in the summertime. Yeah, there was a snake bite recently in San Diego. Forget it. Recently? Uh-huh. Forget it. I forget where, but there was, yeah, a snake bite somewhere over here. Honestly, it's March the 5th. I thought they were still sleeping, the snakes, because they hibernate in the wintertime, and they come out. later but maybe the weather warmed up enough to where they were like oh it's time to wake up warmed up enough the coldest it's been has been like 50 that's what that's what well these san diego winters are killing me by the way i'm really it's been really hard to adjust since i moved here from dallas well those snakes they wait till it gets warmer but i don't put in an ipod sometimes because if they do their rattle i want to hear it That's a warning. I'd like to see what you did if a rattlesnake came up to you. Mike would be like, whoa. Whatever it would be would be really uncoordinated. Whatever the reaction would be would be a very uncoordinated and girlish reaction. I'm just being honest. And I'm being serious. If I heard a rattlesnake, I would react very femininely. It would be a very feminine reaction. What would it sound like? That's it.
I totally agree. Real audio of me. One more time of me. That would be me seeing a rattlesnake. No question. Yeah. I love it. There's some more. What else you got? Change up the route that you're going on. If you always go the same route every single time, do some different stuff. There could be people following you. There could be people that recognize what time you're going to come running by if it's a routine thing that you do. Also, pay attention to your instincts. If you feel even for a second like, oh, this could be sketchy, don't do it. Why risk it? Absolutely. Take along your cell phone. Have ID on you. It should contain a phone number and an emergency contact just in case. Also consider taking along pepper spray. They sell like two ounce canisters that you can put on a key chain. I wouldn't say consider it. I would say do it. Where are you supposed to put all this stuff though that you're carrying? You've got a cell phone. You've got pepper spray. You've got a walking stick. I put everything in the sports bra. Yeah, you do. You take a little fanny pack along with you. You could.
You could. I would. I'd do something. Hold on, man. Let me get this unzipped real quick. Put my iPod in and let me grab my pepper spray. Just give me a second. Hold on. There we go. And now I've got my pepper spray. Oh, no. That's my Copenhagen. Hang on. Let me try again. That's the other pouch. There we go. Maybe carry a 38 special with you. That would work, too. Either way. And then there's only two more. Don't run at night. Do not run at night. Don't run at night. Run at night. I don't know if Sienna mentioned the running at night, but don't do that. Yeah, don't do it. And then consider, no, bring a whistle with you. Okay. That's all good ideas. Okay, so let me tell you something. When we come back, we are going to have San Diego Union Tribune staff writer Kevin Acey on because if you haven't heard, Antonio Cromartie, gone. And we're going to tell you where he's gone to when we come back. Also, Jamal Williams, gone. Darren Sproles, I'll let you know when we come back. This is all coming up with Kevin Acy and Woodsy. I'll have some sports for us as well. Next.
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You need during the spring savings events going on right now at Firestone Complete Auto Care. Call them 1-800-LOCATE-US for the location nearest you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Here's more of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. We'll be right back. We've got a bunch of people in the studio with us today. We've got M1 Winder, M1 Liz, we've got M1 Animator, we've got M1 Boost.
And a little bit later on in the show, it's going to be cool. Lauren's boyfriend is going to come in. He is a singer and a songwriter. He's going to perform in here. What is he doing? Is he playing tonight? Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. Tomorrow night at the Belly Up. Got it. He's opening for the Pine Mountain Logs. Nice. Can I just say something? Sure. This is how well I know my brother, P1 Animator, who is in here right now. I called it yesterday. I said, watch, he's going to come in wearing cargo shorts. And he did. Nice. Good job. I love it. Had to back his boy, dude. Of course. Not his sister. I love it. I love it. Pretty handy. That's right. Pretty handy. Pretty handy. They're handy. They're handy. They're handy. The hammer is hanging from it. What's the point? Just in case you need to help build a bridge, a drawbridge somewhere, you've got to be able to have a place to put your hammer. Kevin Acey. is going to be on the program here in just a second. In fact, I think we got him now, don't we? Kevin, is that you? Yeah, what's happening? Not too much. Yesterday was a huge day for the San Diego Chargers, right? Yeah, it was. Some of the stuff, a little unexpected. Some of it expected, but still, heck, when players move that fans are familiar with, that's a big deal. Well, here's the deal. I purposefully...
have not gone to any websites this morning because I wanted you to sort of update us on all the happenings yesterday for the Chargers in terms of these big-name players. Who is gone? Who is not gone? And where did they go? Let's start with Darren Sproles, who the Chargers had decided that they were going to let go to free agency. Hoped that he would come back, you know, give him a chance to sign. it was becoming very apparent that other teams were very interested in Darren. He had trips scheduled to Kansas City, Washington, Philadelphia, St. Louis. A couple of those teams got big bucks and really want Darren. Chargers put a first and a third tender on him. What that is is the highest possible tender you can put on a restricted free agent. If another team signs Darren, The Chargers get a first-round pick and a third-round pick, or they can work out something a little lesser. And here's what I think is going to happen. I think Darren's going to go to another team, and the Chargers are going to get a draft pick. I think they really want Darren, but they didn't suddenly budget $7.3 million, which is what Darren's due to make this year. They just didn't suddenly come up with that money. Now, they would love to give Darren that much money, but as part of a package for more years than that. That's more than LT.
made in all but two of his seasons so kevin kevin you're you're fairly confident that that another team is going to be willing to give up a first round draft pick and a third round draft pick and then sign him to a big deal yes not a first and a third but something less the charges put the first and third on there to give themselves the power and the bargaining position um it will not take a first and a third to get darren now it would take a first and a third to get Vincent Jackson or Marcus McNeil or Sean Merriman, other guys that they put the first and third on. But, yes, I am fairly confident that Darren will not be his charter unless there's some sort of breakthrough in their long-term contract negotiations. Woodsy. Hey, Kevin, it's Woods here. Question for you, man, and this is kind of a naive question, but so you've got a restricted free agent. Why aren't you putting a first and third on every one of them? Silly, Woodsy. That would be an awful lot of money. Now, while to guys like you and me, you know, $3.2 million just isn't a lot. Right. Yeah, because we're both filthy rich. Right. To Dean Spanos, you know, that's just a lot of money. Really, it adds up. It is kind of amazing. What happened is, and I'm sure you read every word that I write. Earlier in the week, I talked about how with this.
weird labor situation going on. The Chargers have all these players that would have been free to go to other teams. And I just talk about these four guys. Let's not even talk about Darren Spoles. Sean Merriman, Marcus McNeil, Vincent Jackson, Malcolm Floyd. If those four guys were unrestricted, it would take about $50 million in guaranteed money. That's not money that you've got to pay right now, but it sort of is. It's upfront money that's guaranteed to these guys that they get hit by a car. after signing the contract. It's guaranteed money. And that might be conservative on my part. Question answered. Well, here's the deal. They gave these guys first and third. It's only $12 million total. That's still a lot of money, man. Yeah, it is. They give other players a second-round tender at $1.3 million. That's a $2 million difference. That's big money. Yeah, no doubt. Let's move on to the other players and what has happened. Jamal Williams knows tackle for a long time. Anybody who knows football knows how important that position is, especially in the Chargers' defense. Now, Jamal breaking down a little bit, and he's 34 years old, and he was going to make $6 million. As a matter of fact, he was due a $1 million roster bonus today and a $5 million salary. The Chargers last year used a rotation on their defensive line, a whole bunch of players. They don't need Jamal as Jamal. They need Jamal for, say, 20, 30 plays tops.
And that's just $6 million is too much. So Jamal's been released. They're going to try. Released. Released. Released. Wow. They're going to try to rework a deal with him. But other players that I talked to that have talked to Jamal, Jamal's ready to move on. I don't think that means he hates the Chargers and won't come back. But whenever you make a guy a free agent, you know, you love somebody, set them free, but they might not come back. Yeah. Yeah, I got that. And finally, there's one more player, correct? Yes, uh-huh. I don't know how you feel about him. A lot of his teammates were tired of him. Antonio Cromartie, he was traded to the Jets last night. It's just funny, these trades. You hear this, you hear that, you hear this. And Antonio Cromartie, the Chargers got a second round, I'm sorry, a third round pick in 2011. So nothing this year, but a third round pick that... I believe will become a second round because it becomes a second round pick if the Jets win the AFC East or if the Jets sign Cromartie to a long-term contract or there's a playing time threshold. I don't know exactly what it is, but he's going to start. And so as long as he stays healthy, he'll reach that and the Chargers will get a second round pick next year. How do you feel about that, Kevin? Well, I wish in that, you know, I wish as kind of like the advocate for the fans.
and for the team that since 2010 is such a big year for them that they would have got a draft pick now. But you don't think A.J. Smith, the general manager, wanted that too? I mean, this guy, the Jets really wanted him, and I think Klo has the potential to do phenomenal in the Jets' defense. Well, Kevin, why didn't they hold out? Why did they have to pull the trigger on a deal so soon? Everybody knew they were going to get rid of this guy. And he's been on the, well, you say there's still time left before the season. You know, sure. This guy's been on the market for a year, essentially. So only between October and the end of the season when you can't trade anybody will be off the market. So, Kevin, who will the Chargers replace him with? Antoine Cason is a kid that they drafted in 2008 in the first round. And, you know, he's a good player. And don't just think, you know, I know you guys follow the Chargers. He got benched at his position, which was nickelback. But he's more suited to play cornerback. I don't know that he'll be Antonio Cromartie. I don't think he'll be Antonio Cromartie of 2007, who had 10 interceptions. But, you know, Crowe only had five interceptions over the last two seasons and was kind of a knucklehead sometimes. There isn't a person in the league, I mean this, that has Antonio Cromartie's talent. But Antoine Cason, Crowe's kind of a mental midget.
Antoine Cason is a very smart player, very physical player, and we'll get the job done. Awesome. Hey, listen, Kevin, thank you for taking the time to come on and explain what's going on. It's big news for Charger fans, and we really appreciate you coming on. Right on. Take care, guys. Thanks a lot. That's Kevin Acey from the San Diego Union-Tribune. And if you're just tuning in and you missed it, Jamal Williams has been released. Antonio Cromartie traded to the Jets. And then finally, I don't know how you feel about it, but Darren Sproles may be gone. And Kevin Acey, who's been working with the Chargers for a long time, interviewing, doing stuff, he thinks that he'll be gone. Yeah, I think it's tough that the Jets came here. Beat the Chargers. And now you just made them better. It's tough, man. It's really tough. Let's get fired up with a little Woods, Woods, Woods. I need something happy, yeah. Let's do a little Woods, Woods, Woods. Woods on Sproles. Woods, Woods. Woods on Sproles. There's a little extra pause in the second verse. It's like, Woods! But it's a little second too late. That's right. That's right. How you doing, buddy? I'm good, man. How are you? I'm good. Besides the fact that Darren Sproles might be leaving, I'm all right. Yeah, it's...
Like we were talking about yesterday, it's like literally since I landed in San Diego, there's been a mass exodus on, like, the talented players here. Like, he's here. We're out. Woods is here. We're out. What else is going on in sports? I want to follow up. I talked about a story yesterday. For those of you guys that didn't hear it, there's a small school outside of Dallas. It's called Texas A&M Commerce. And Guy Morris is the coach. He coached at Kentucky. He coached at Baylor. Well, basically, two of his players got arrested on drug charges. They were on the front page of the East Texan, which is a newspaper out there. Very big circulation, I would imagine. And what happened is the other football players said, you know what? We're not going to let our boys go down like that. They went out and stole every copy they could find of this newspaper. Well, you would expect them to be disciplined. Well, Coach Morris has come out and said, I'm really proud of, quote, I'm really proud of my players for doing that. This was the best team building exercise we have ever done. Oh, boy. I know. Dude. He's got a shovel and he's digging himself a hole. Yeah, he is. You know? Yeah. Okay. And how do you, if you're a school administrator, how do you keep a dude that's like, oh, yeah, they broke the law. We're all boys. So there you go. They stole and it's cool. I'm cool with it. Yeah, I'm cool with it. You know? We're just, hey, we're just lucky that nobody got, you know, seriously injured here. But as long as they want to commit a nonviolent crime, I'm totally down. I'm in. I mean, come on. I know. You know what?
A lot worse stuff happens in college football. But then again, the coach never comes out and condones it. That's what he's doing, essentially. I'm really going to keep an eye on that story because I'm fascinated by it. Well, the people of Carolina are rejoicing this morning. Any idea why? No. Jake Delhomme is gone. Really? Yes. And I have a lot of friends in the Carolinas that were really tired of that guy's bit. Yeah. He took him to the Super Bowl in 2003. Was a good player then, kind of a scrappy dude, big heart. He had his worst season as a pro last year, and they still owe him $12.5 million of guaranteed money, and they released him. Are you kidding me? Wow. And then, yeah, it's crazy. Tiger Woods' longtime caddie Steve Williams talked to New Zealand's TV3 about his boss. Cut three. I'm not mad because he's let me down. And, you know, I'm disappointed. I wouldn't say I'm mad. I'm more disappointed that he's, you know, let his family down, let himself down. So, you know, I'm close with his wife and he's got two lovely children and he's let them down. I had no idea that his kitty was... Paul Hogan. Yeah. Yeah. Didn't know that. Crocodile Dundee. Yeah, Crocodile Dundee. That's Australia. New Zealand's a whole different country. And a different accent, right? Yep. The Kiwis. The Kiwis. Whatever that means. Forgot about that.
I forgot about it. We're cantaloupes. Hey, this is great. Listen to this. Jay said that yesterday we were talking about this whole concept of helping people out and stuff like that. We were having a conversation off the air after the show about helping people out and stuff like that. And Jay was talking about how he had gotten a phone call from a woman that didn't want to come on the air, but she had a question for Jay. And the question was, would you... be okay if you saw someone getting attacked would you be okay with jumping in there and helping out and you know jay said that he absolutely would no doubt about it if he saw a stranger being attacked there's no doubt about it he would jump in there and help out and she went on to say that about 75 of the time people walk away from these deals because they're afraid to get involved and uh you know a lot of people think that they would get involved, but statistically, 75% of people do not. And Jay was writing in his recap to me about what he was doing yesterday, talking about this, and he said that it's kind of sad that it's hard for us to be able to look out for each other, at least statistically. It is hard for us to look out for one another. And so he said he's going to try to make a point to...
Just in general, he said it made him think it's going to make him try to make a point to be a better, nicer, more giving person. He says life is too short to turn a blind eye. And he will now step off the apple crate and give me back the microwave oven when I'm trying to reach for the microwave oven to put something in it. The apple crate? Yes, the apple crate. Which, of course, is shot at me being diminutive. What? Diminutive. But, no, that's good. I mean, I think that he's kind of got a point. And it made me think, like, you know, so would we? You know, obviously Woods. What do you think? Of course you would. Yeah. I mean, I know my boy. I know Woodsy. I have seen a couple things. And my wife doesn't really like that aspect of my personality. But there's been a couple times we've seen some things going down. And I've done the whip around in the car and tried to get involved in a couple deals. Probably should get involved in less stuff. Yeah, probably. But, you know, it's my personality, man. I love to help people, and I think I would help, you know, a complete stranger any time. Lauren, would you jump in if you saw something going on as a woman? Would you be willing to jump in and get in there and mix it up with somebody? I don't know if I would necessarily start, like, throwing fisticuffs, but I think I would at least use my voice or, you know what I mean, in some way get involved. Yeah. How about you, Sienna?
I think absolutely. Now, would you actually physically get yourself involved? Or the same thing as Lauren said, you would kind of like scream and stuff? I don't know. I'm kind of a fighter. You are? You know what I mean? I've always wanted to punch someone in the face. A little scrappy? Wow, mark that down. A little scrappy? I mean, I wouldn't want to hurt someone, but if someone was obviously like bullying a child or an elderly who couldn't defend themselves, I would defend them. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sure. 570. Or if you want to, you can always text messages. We would love to hear from you on the text. And that's 949 Mikey at Gmail dot com. If you want to get a hold of us using the text. What about you? Yeah, definitely. Dude, definitely. I mean, it is a I'm called to, you know. Yeah, there's a million different ways to get involved. I mean, you don't have to run up and start, you know, dropping haymakers on somebody. But, you know, to I mean, drive your car. You get up right next to them, freak them out. I mean, if something's happening, do your part to protect each other. Now, let me, I'm going to make a very big distinction here. If there's two guys that are getting into it out in front of a bar, I do not get involved. Absolutely. And I think it's foolish to get involved in that. And that's just, that's one thing. I agree. Now, if somebody is being attacked, that's a totally different thing.
I think that you should help. That you should help your brother, your sister, your fellow man. But we're getting phone calls about it. 570-1949. What would you do? And you can also text messages. Again, 949mikey at gmail.com. M1 Sun Jester texted and said, Mikey, I live for situations like that. I love helping. And it just so happens I love fighting. Fighting, I don't know about that. But the helping, I like the helping. M1 Nick, you there? Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. All right, right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're on. All right. I guess I saw a homeless man being assaulted by another group of homeless people downtown. It's been about a year and a half ago. I think the main thing was I really wanted to step in, but it was like a really violent thing going on. A lot of people just walked away. I mean, I called the police. I wanted to step in, but, I mean, it happened and ended really quick. So, I mean, I guess there's situations like that where it's a little bit more confusing than just your standard. Dude, that is way more confusing. You're adding a whole new wrinkle to it when you say that there's a group of people attacking somebody. Yeah, you're definitely going to start yelling for help. Is it wise to get involved if all you're doing is making yourself a victim as well? I don't know.
What do you guys think of that, Woodsy? I think he did the right thing by calling the police. I mean, again, if it's a man against a woman or it's somebody against a child or somebody against somebody that's defenseless, I mean, one-on-one, mano-a-mano, have a ball. I mean, that's kind of how it is. But if it's something that's... You know when to get involved and when you shouldn't, when you shouldn't. And if you think that you can help. I'm not jumping in. If five homeless guys are beating up another one, I'm not jumping in. But I'm calling the cops. Beat your horn, wave your arms, scream, blow a whistle. And I think it's important, too, to make the distinction that regardless of who it is, if there's a group of people, you're not really making a situation better. Unless it's a kid, though. I don't know if I could. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, if it's a little kid? If it's a kid in anyone, I think I'd just instinctively have to leap. Yeah, that's right. You know what came up the other day? I don't even know if I should bring this up. It was so funny. Lauren doesn't talk about that tattoo very much. I wouldn't either. I wouldn't either. Lauren has a rooster tattooed on her ankle.
And the reason for the rooster is because when she was in Hawaii, there were a lot of roosters there. It was very peaceful. And she remembers that time, that peaceful time. It was also before she had met Steve Woods and wasn't aware of his comedic prowess when seeing said rooster. Steve Woods, but, you know. And the thing is, too, that's funny about it is that the guy that gave her the tattoo talked her into making the rooster as big as it is because it was supposed to be a small rooster, and it's not now. No, it's not. Okay, I can't even talk right now. I've got jokes. Of course you do. I've got jokes about a small rooster and then a bigger rooster. It's like a softball-sized rooster. And you're being inappropriate. It's woodsy for you. It is. It is a softball-sized. Is it? On her ankle. The inside of her ankle. I would say so. It's not softball. Tennis ball. It's like a racquetball size. Bigger than a golf ball. I have a bad tattoo. You do? Maybe you have a couple. Yeah. I've never seen a tattoo that was grammatically incorrect. Until me? Until you. What's that, Matt Hugh?
Mayhew? Matthew. Matthew. Matthew. You meant Matthew? I did mean Matthew. Oh, okay. Yeah, I did mean Matthew. Just making sure. Yeah, it was a Bible verse, Matthew 11, 28, and I got it, and then I went to work, and about two weeks later, somebody noticed it and said, who's Matthew? So does that mean that you went to the tattoo shop and you said this is what I want and you spelt it wrong? You know, honestly, I don't think I don't think I just said Matthew 11, 28. I want to say Matthew 11, 28. I don't think I provided him with a spelling of it. I thought that it went without saying, you know, but maybe I should have provided spelling for him. Now, you know, now I know. But yeah. Do you have any bad tattoos? Boost, you got one? Boost is in the studio right now. Shout it out. What is it? It's supposed to be a phoenix. And it is? It looks more like a rooster. Really? Supposed to be a phoenix. Who would get that? But it looks like a rooster. It looks like a rooster rising from the ashes. Yeah. Hindsight is 20-20. It should have stayed in the ashes, actually. Yeah. That's a big one. Bats. That's a big one.
Call us with your worst, the worst tattoo. Like, oh, tattoo you just so wish was not there. Especially you dudes that have them on the small of your back. Tramp stamp. Tramp stamp. Call us right now. 570-1949. Bad tattoos. On FM 94.9. What does stormwater pollution look like? Well, most of the time we can't see it. In fact, it takes very little pollution to close a beach. So, for purposes of illustration, let's say stormwater pollution looks like a rubber ducky. And since this is radio, let's say it also sounds like a rubber ducky. Now imagine one little duck flowing down a storm drain, where it joins another little duck, and another, and 12 more, and 10 million more, flowing from storm drains all over San Diego, untreated to our beaches and bays. Now that's quite a sight.
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Mama Testa Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? This report is brought to you by Toyota Motor Sales USA. Your Toyota dealer is committed to your satisfaction. They've extended their hours, added associates to take care of your service needs, answer questions, and address your concerns. Well, this is the kind of morning you just want to go out and play in traffic because there's not much of it. Don't do that, though. It's just not a good thing. You'll end up on top of somebody's car. On the 805 southbound between Balboa or in their windshield, you never know, back seat. The 805 southbound between Balboa Avenue, Mesa College Drive. It's a little slow. Also, Camp Pendleton southbound side. The 5 southbound between Oceanside Harbor Drive and the 76. Some delays. This report brought to you by Carfax. Are you in the market for a used car? You want to steer clear of rebuilt wrecks? A Carfax report can help you. Just say show me the Carfax or go to Carfax.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. financial media station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. It's a Mikey show. Who is that? Safety suit. It's a jam. I like it. We're getting some text messages coming in about the bad tattoos and some phone calls. If you've got a bad tattoo, call us. 570-1949. M1 Winder just showed us his tattoo.
Well, actually, his wife sort of threw him under the bus with it. She's like, come on, babe, show him yours. Poor guy had to stand up in front of his wife and the rest of us and show us that tattoo on the small of his back. But I like it. I like it. You can call us, tell us about yours, 570-1949. Or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com is how you get a hold of us. Might as well be a bullseye, Winder. That's right. This one says, this one from M1 Child Please says, Mikey, I have a hot chick on my back, but it kind of blends in with a loop that I had put on my shoulder. So now it looks like the chick has a beard. Oh, no. Oh, my. Real sexy. I thought he was going to say a noose. Real sexy, right? I've got a bad one. You do? Yep. What? When I was about 18, there's a... There's a street in Austin. It's called 6th Street. And it's a notoriously wild place. And I went and had a few drinks. And I got a, I went in. I wanted to get a tattoo. I didn't care what it was. Didn't have any special meaning. I just wanted a tattoo because I knew that's what idiots like me were supposed to do when I was 18. So I walked down the street and my buddy and I picked a place. And I walked in. Literally on the wall, I was this guy looking going, no, I don't want a daisy. No.
I don't want that. No, I don't want any old English. How about this sun? Were you totally sober? No. Of course not. Hardly. Of course not. And I got a sun tattoo on the back of my right shoulder. Funnily enough, one of my best friends is with me, gets the same tattoo. Even funnier still, my little brother five years later goes and gets the same tattoo in the same spot. Are you serious? That's for the three stooges when we're hanging out together with our shirts off. I don't know what I would think. What the heck? Where is that coming from? We don't know where it's coming from. What is that? What was that? No idea. That's bizarre. I have no idea. If I was out at the beach and I saw you, Woods, with your brother and another friend and you guys all had the same tattoo, I would immediately start laughing and think, Jabroni. Yeah, idiots. Well, my buddies at work used to tell me...
How's that flaming softball on your back? That's awesome, dude. I made fun of one of theirs. He had, like, his fraternity. And he goes, yeah, well, at least I don't have a flaming softball on my back. I said, okay, I can't say a word to that. Touche. Touche. On the phone with us right now, M1 Paparazzi. Hi, Paparazzi. Good morning. Good morning. I have a buddy of mine who is actually a tattoo artist, and he got drunk with some friends, and one of his friends convinced him to give him a tattoo while he was drunk. I don't remember what the word said, but when he finished the tattoo and stepped back, the word was backwards. So you'd have to look in a mirror to read it. Are you kidding me? Oh, that is brutal. He drew it out on the stencil paper the correct way. So when he put it on the guy, it was backwards. Oh, my gosh. That's brutal. I mean, that's absolutely brutal. It's sort of cool, though. You could be like, yeah, you want to know what it says? Stand in the mirror. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you want to know what it says? Break out your compact. I hear a lot of stories, a lot of people that get, like, the Asian symbols, you know, that are supposed to mean, like, inspire or true love or something, and then they don't mean what they're supposed to mean. It means chow mein. Yeah. Something like that. It's Chinese. Mike, do you know anybody with an Asian?
Okay, I have an Asian tattoo. I have one. So does Wynder, too. Wynder, too? Yeah, dude. Wynder, do you have bad tribal? No tribal? He's like, I'm not that guy. I have every cliche. I have every cliche, like, fad tattoo. I'm surprised I don't have a butterfly on my ankle. How about a daisy? A daisy on my ankle. Do you have your Zodiac sign tramp stamp? Stop it. Stop it. I'm shocked I don't. Are there any original tattoos anymore? Are there? Yeah. Are there any? You're not the only person with a rooster. What if I got a box of cream of wheat on my arm? I would be probably the only one. When I went to Vegas, I was going to get a bumblebee stinging my butt. Oh, my God. You are kidding. I decided not to. You're a wild child. I would like that. Lauren, how happy are you that you didn't get a bee stinging your butt? I haven't completely ruled it out. I think it would be funny. Yeah. I like the funny ones like that. Don't you kind of go, I'm not sure I'm ready to hear at some point, hey, Grandma, can I ask you a question about that saggy bee? Looks like a wasp now.
Yeah, it looks like a wasp now. No, now it looks like a guy climbing on a ladder. I wonder how much money I could raise for charity if I said that I would get, like, Michael Shannon tattooed on my arm. Dude. I wonder. Right? I wonder how much. Be careful what you say. You would never regret that. No. Never. No, Michael Shannon is my alter ego. Uh, from when I was, uh, when I was a DJ back in the nineties, when I was, uh, morbidly obese. And, uh, there are people that have gone and done Photoshop of me. They've just, they've just taken rerun from what's happening's body and Photoshop my face on it. And, uh, you know, they call Michael Shannon. Cause that was my on air name at the time. Michael Shannon. It's hideous. But, yeah, how much money can we raise to have Woodsy put that tattoo on his arm? That's my dad right now is wrecking his car. Of course. M1 Steve? Yeah? What's your tattoo? Oh, well, it's not mine, thank God. There's two friends of mine. This is probably the reason why I don't get tattoos is because of these horror stories. But one of them was a Raider fan. This big Mexican guy had a tattoo that said Raiders, but it was spelled Riders. It was R-I-A-D-E-R-S.
That's bad. That's bad. So did it say like the Oakland Riders? Yeah. He's like, yeah, that was a USFL team that was around for a couple of years back in the early 80s. He had the full emblem of the shield and everything. It took someone to tell him that it was built wrong. And boy, it was pretty funny to look on his face. Me too, dude. It's the same with me. I didn't realize I had Matt Hugh 1128. It took an intern at the radio station to go, who's Matt Hugh? And I don't know what you're talking about. Your tattoo says Matt Hugh 1128. And I go, no, it doesn't. Oh, yeah, it does. Color me embarrassed. At least yours is small. Didn't your Liz and Winder said their friend has like across their chest. Oh, across their back. When the Red Sox won the World Series, it was we believe. That was the slogan. Right. Their friend has. We be live. Are you kidding? We be live. Welcome to Red Sox Nation. Wow. Welcome to Red Sox Nation. We be live. Yeah, we be live, dog. M1BigC, what's up? Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Yeah, what's the bad tattoo? It's on a guy that I know. It's on his shoulder. He's in the Marine Corps, and he thought it would be really funny and a great idea to get a male.
Hoo-ha with boxing gloves beating up a female hoo-ha. Oh, my gosh. That's the worst. That's the worst. Yeah, like, what is that even saying? Like, what's the message even? I don't know. I don't think we're allowed to talk about what that message is. They're about to get after it. Is that what it is? That's what it is. He's wrecking shop, dude. He's beating it up. Oh, my gosh. So filthy. Can you imagine that guy's kid? Hey, Dad. What is that? What is that? Don't worry about that. The words, our names, on his buttocks. He can impress the girls at the bar and go, hey, I got our names tattooed on him. Oh, my gosh. That's kind of funny, actually. Oh, man. Over the years, I've had various people for, you know, like a Metallica CD put the Mikey show on, like, their butt or something. I mean, I'm telling you, when I say that I did, it would have to be five figures. Seriously, like, to do that, it would have to be five figures. Yeah. That's $10,000. But it wouldn't go to you. It would go to charity. Well, exactly. But that would be worth it. Yeah. But that's, oh, my goodness. Can you imagine? I mean, that's, my dad, same as me, Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Back in the 50s, when my dad was getting his first tattoo, now, well, in the last 10 years, we've seen these.
Fads of tribal tattoos. We've seen fads of getting the little Asian symbol. Back in the 50s, it was real fashionable to get a rose. I thought you were going to say an anchor. I was going to say anchor, too. Oh, yeah. The anchor is in the rose on my dad's tattoo. And do you know what it says? What? Mother. Oh, yeah. Stop it. Oh, yeah. Stop it. Mother. That is what is written on your father's body? My father's tattoo on his right bicep is a rose with an anchor. It's huge. It's classic. Yeah, classic. Timeless. It's timeless. Oh, Dad. No, it still works. What does your mom think of that? Oh, I'm sure she thinks it's sexy. Sure. It's real sexy. Yeah. When I was a child. Hot. When I was a child. One of my favorite bands was Kiss. And I remember Paul Stanley, the lead singer, had one tattoo and it was a rose on his right arm. And I was a little kid. I was like, when I turn 18, I'm getting a freaking rose right on my shoulder. Bauman said the same thing. That he wanted to get a rose. Yeah, there you go. Yes. The velvet voice of Paul Stanley. Your friend Mark Bauman, though, was also the guy that went to a Kiss concert. And at the time that he went.
to the Kiss concert, Paul Stanley, the lead singer at Kiss, was very well known for wearing a white glove. Two. Two white gloves. Two white gloves, fingerless, you know, like the weightlifting gloves. So my boy Bauman, he's in, I think he's in eighth grade, maybe ninth grade. He gets amazing seats to the Kiss show. And he had a little plan. Okay, and he goes and he watches Ted Nugent open, watches the whole set. The lights go down, the fog comes up. Kiss walks on stage, so my boy reaches in his back pocket and pulls out two gloves and puts one on. Oh, my God. Puts the other one on, and he gives a fist pound into each. Get out. And the horns go up, and he's ready to rock out because he brought his glove. But you know what the clown did? What? He didn't go get the right gloves. This dude goes and buys two white baseball gloves and cuts the tips off himself, okay? Franklin baseball gloves. So they're like uneven figures. They're tattered. Tattered. Strings everywhere. It is, without a doubt, one of my favorite stories. And you have to know him to know. But you know he thought about this for weeks. Absolutely. And prepared. And you know how meticulous he is. Sure. Just snipping away. Snipping him off. And I'm sure the guy next to him was like.
Those are real nice daisy-baked gloves. It's real nice cutoffs you have there, bro, that you're rocking the horns with. My favorite part of the story, though, he didn't wear them to the show. He purposely waited. No, Nugent does not deserve these. Yeah. This is for me and Paul. Right, right. So, yeah. Something we share. Ted Nugent's the opening band. I'm not going to waste. No. I'm going to waste the gloves on him. I'm going to waste the gloves on him. I'm going to wait. And it's timed. It's well-timed out. What you would call premeditated. How long did he sit in the mirror and practice? Oh, you know, I mean, funny thing is, before I moved out here, he and I went to see Kiss again. And, dude, I can't tell you. I mean, right when they walked on stage, I looked over at him and I just started dying laughing. I thought it would have been so cool had he done it again. He brought him with him. He brought him with. But I almost did it as a little bit of shtick. But I was hungover and tired. The only thing that would have made it better is if he had dislocated his finger. punching the gloves, getting them all dialed in. He's dialed in. M1 Mark, you there? Yes. Go ahead. Yeah, I have almost like the full back tattoo, and it's like this Asian warrior with this Chinese dragon coming in from behind it. But in the lower left-hand corner, it's like this giant 3D sort of Asian symbol that's supposed to be Imperial Dragon because of the dragon coming behind it.
And I was on the beach, you know, without my shirt on. And this Asian girl was sitting there laughing. I was like, what are you laughing about? She was like, I like your tattoo. I said, well, if you like it, why are you laughing? She was like, why does it say savory? Savory. Because I like pork chops smothered in gravy. That's why. So why don't you mind your own business? So he said he's got a giant dragon on his back. Dude, put that on a T-shirt, sell it for $200, and call yourself affliction. Yeah. You know what I mean? Why not? That's the new bit. I love it. Savory. Savory. Savory. That's my worst fear. Because, you know, I'm trusting that the Asian tattoo I have on my left bicep, which is, oh, so tough. Done by a white guy, I'm sure. Done by a white guy. You know, my worst fear is that it says pancakes and bacon. Is it really, though? That'd be kind of cool. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. He likes pancakes. Yeah, he likes pancakes. Oh, leave me alone. Leave me alone already. Right. It says, yes, it says pancakes. This is me on a trip to Tokyo. Uh-huh. And them giggling. Yes, it says pancakes. Yes.
You were eating pancakes when they noticed. At the time. At the time. That's why I'm eating these. Because I like pancakes. I eat them for every meal. Leave me alone. Already. M1 Beth, go ahead. A friend of mine decided it would be a good idea to get back at her mom to get a tattoo. And so she got her dad's name tattooed across her chest. How was that getting back at her mom? Well, her mom and dad were divorced, and her mom didn't stand her dad, and my friend couldn't stand her mom, so she thought it was a bright idea. Yeah, I'll show you, Mom. I'll defile my own chest with my daddy's name. Imagine every man she ever met from then on. What's up with this guy? Oh, it's my dad. All right, nice meeting you. Later. Later. Who's Bruce? That's my dad. Great, I'm out.
Were you from Kentucky, dude? I'm gone. So creepy. Can I ask you a question, sweetheart? Who's Bruce? That's not something you want to stare at every time you get intimate. No. Your dad. Your dad's name staring at him. Your dad. That's so creepy. M1 Joe. Joe, are you there? Yeah. What's your bad tattoo? It's not bad. It's just kind of awkward. No. Brilliant. Brilliant. Yeah, I don't regret it because it's for my grandparents, but it's one of those things that now every time I'm like, geez, maybe I could have put that in a better spot, you know? No, I think it's a perfect spot. That's hilarious. Oh, man. It speaks for itself. Well, let's hope it does speak for itself or then you will be embarrassed. Let's see. So, okay. Thank you for the call. Here's the deal. We are going to do the Incorporator.
All right. We're going to do the Incorporator. It'll be my first time live. That's right. With live people around. I'm stoked. The Incorporator is where we call a place and Woodsy talks to the people. We call someplace in the middle of nowhere and Woodsy talks to the people. And you call us right now, 5701-949. And what you do is, is you're going to tell us, you're going to give us some very, how did we phrase it yesterday? I said common phrases, common words. Common phrases, common words. We are not looking for anything outside of common phrases and common words because the point is it's funny when he incorporates common phrases and common words. It's not that funny when he's incorporating made-up words or words and phrases that no one really knows or understands. It kind of defeats the point, actually, if it's phrases that nobody knows or understands. So it's common phrases, common words. For instance, Sienna had a great one, panther. Legendary. And you've got to work that in. He's got to work that into the conversation, the word panther. You did it. That was amazing. That's awesome. Another Sienna one that I enjoyed was breakfast at Tiffany's. And he did. He worked it into the sentence. Perfectly. So that's what you've got to do.
So give us a call right now, 570-1949. And we are going to get your words for the Incorporator. And when we come back, Woodsy is going to... Jay, what are we going to be calling today? What kind of place are we going to be calling for the Incorporator? I have like a Jiffy Lube, but it's not a Jiffy Lube. It's an oil change place. I love it. So start thinking about it now, Woodsy. Start thinking about what you will be saying to an oil changing place. And when we come back, Woodsy will do the Incorporated. Don't go away. They need to call, right? What's that? They need to call, right? Yeah. Right now? 570-1949 and give us your words. Words are common phrases. Common words, common phrases. This is the new home of the Mike Show. FM 94.9. Used to be at Kill'em, but then new weeds would take their place. I didn't like that. So now I kill them with Roundup Extended Control. It does two jobs at once. One, it kills the weeds you have down to the root. And two, it prevents new weeds from growing. So long, dandelion. Adios, crabgrass. Just spray Roundup Extended Control wherever you don't want weeds. It forms a barrier that prevents new ones from growing for up to four months. And I like that, because like I said, I don't like weeds.
Plus, Roundup Extended Control comes in an easy-to-use pump-and-go sprayer with up to five minutes of continuous spray. Keeps my shooting hand from getting tired. Roundup Extended Control. Kills and prevents. Because you don't like weeds. Pick up Roundup Extended Control at your local lawn and garden center this weekend. Do you usually get your car service? Same place I told you yesterday, Lisa. Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Thanks. Oh, hi, Molly. You bought a Toyota, right? Yeah, from Toyota Carlsbad. Where do you get it serviced? At Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Ooh, Billy, where... Where everyone else goes, Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Sorry, but getting your car service right the first time is a big deal. That's why we all go to Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Master trained service technicians. Genuine Toyota parts. And it's the largest Toyota authorized service facility. in San Diego County. Well, I guess my choice is clear. Good. Going back to work now. Shipping. This is Doug. Doug, where do you get your car? Stop it. Working. Toyota Carlsbad. Toyota owners now get a synthetic oil change starting at $49.95 plus tax and hazardous material fee. Text TOYOTASERVICE48696 for more specials. Visit Toyota Carlsbad New Parts and Service Center today, west of I-5 on Avenida Encinas, Carlsbad. See us online at toyotacarlsbad.com. Do business.
The old ways are out. If you want to stay alive, you can't just keep up with the Joneses. You have to run them down, preferably in an electric car. Today, it's all about the social networking. And nobody understands that better than Big Bear Mountain Resorts. That's why you can follow us on Titter or Spacebook. Why, we're even on my face. In fact, I'm tooting right now. LOL. Yes, we're Awesome Sauce. We've even got an RSS feed. so you can get up-to-the-minute information on conditions, weather, midweek discounts, and special events at both Snow Summit and Bear Mountain. So come on, follow us on Friend Pile. We can play farm town. We're Big Bear Mountain Resorts, and we are made of wind. With a deep snowpack of 9 to 10 feet of natural snow this season, Summit and Bear will be open well into April. Stay in touch with Big Bear Mountain Resorts for the latest updates on snow road and weather conditions. Giveaway announcement. Do you have troubled skin, acne? Well, against the better judgment of our management team, we're going to prove... Stay tuned for a million bottle giveaway announcement. Do you have troubled skin, acne? Well, against the better judgment of our management team, we're going to prove to you once and for all that Proactiv works. So if you want to try it, give us a call because we're going to let a million people try Proactiv and receive our legendary refining face mask free if you call right now.
You heard it. Be one of the first callers and you'll receive a 60-day trial of Proactiv solution risk-free plus a free refining face mask when you call 1-800-244-1946. Proactiv's combination therapy system uses prescription-grade acne medicine and soothing spa quality botanicals to create a powerful acne fighting system. It's so effective it transforms blemishes and bumps into clear, smooth skin. You can have beautiful, healthy-looking skin. Put us to the test and we'll prove it. Get your risk-free 60-day trial. trial plus a free refining face mask. Call toll free now 1-800-244-1946. That's 1-800-244-1946. This report brought to you by AutoZone. Come into AutoZone, pick up everything you need for your complete brake job like long lasting Duralast brake pads, components and advice to do the right job. Get to AutoZone today. Miramar way the ramp to the 15. Accident cleared there was a car and an SUV. Looks like everybody got real friendly exchange information. And then they left the scene. On the 15 southbound between Valley Parkway, Center City Parkway, a little slowing in the mid-20s right now. This report brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. Take advantage of unbeatable savings on the tires and automotive service that you need during the spring savings events going on right now at Firestone Complete Auto Care. Call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the location nearest you. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9.
Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios míos, what have I done? It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's going on? This is Evan from Surfline.com with your FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for Friday morning. It is the weekend. Brought to you by Goyac Yerba Mate. Warm yourself up before a nice surf with a nice glass of pure passion tea, which you'll find at your local kiosk. This morning we have surf in the waist of chest to even head high range with some west-northwest local wind swells. Starting off okay this morning as winds are offshore. Let's hope that stays for a while. But most places are sectionally peaked, a little racy with the low tide. So look for shape and size to improve as the tide fills in.
But also, again, you just got to keep your fingers crossed that the wind doesn't turn around. For up to the minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to surf, check out one at South Coast Surf Shops, five locations, or online at southcoast.com. This surf report was brought to you by Goyaki, Irving Mottank, and we're here three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. It's the Mikey Show. You can call us right now if you want to. Our phone number is 5701-949. If you would like to text us, you can do that. 949mikey at gmail.com. How are you feeling, Woodsy? I'm good, dude. Ready to rock. Woodsy does something called the Incorporator. And the idea with the Incorporator is that we call places out in the middle of nowhere.
has to incorporate words that you call us with, and he has to incorporate them into the conversation that he has. And it is phenomenal to watch. Now, the idea is that the words, they're just very basic words or phrases. That's how it works. It's just real basic words or phrases. And so you call us up and you tell us these things, and he'll incorporate them into the conversation. I say... Oh, look at him. The kid's about to swallow some Tums. Reaching for the Tums. He does that. He gets so worked up. Like a heartburn. He gets so worked up that he gets heartburn, and he's eating Tums to settle down the acid. Are we ready? No, he's got to leave, Mike. Yeah, you've got to have him leave. You've got to have him leave. You've got to leave. Beat it. He's walking out of the studio. Oh, here he comes. Watch out, boys. He'll chew you up. Here he comes. Watch out, boys. He'll chew you up. Let's do it. So you call us right now, 570-1949, and you're going to give us common words and phrases that Woodsy can work into a conversation. Let's see. This is M1 Jordan. Jordan, what is your common word or phrase? Hey, Mikey Cho. How you doing? Given it's an oil change place, I would love to hear Woodsy say, Ferris dealer's day off. I love it.
Yep. I love it. Yep. Thank you. Thank you. I got it. I got it written down. Thank you. M1 Katie, what do you want Woodsy to work in? Hey, me and my brother are driving to school. Anything would be hilarious if you said that's what she said. All right. So Woodsy's got to work that's what she said into the conversation. Let's see. Kevin? Kevin, are you there? Good morning, Mikey. Go ahead. I'd like to see him incorporate I love you. I love you. Not I love you, man. Just I love you. Just I love you. We got it. We got it. M1 Dub. M1 Dub, are you there? M1 Dog Bait? What is it? Dog Bait. M1 Dog Bait? That's tough. That is tough. Dog Bait, what is your phrase? Butter My Biscuit. Butter My Biscuit. I like it. I like it a lot. Butter My Biscuit. All right, hang on. M1 Eric? Oh, yeah. I feel bad for this guy. Have him say something like, how's the family? How's the kids? How's the family is good. I got it. I got it. Thank you. M1 Irony? Irani. Irani. Yeah, Irani. Irani, what is your common word or phrase? Hi, Mikey. Love the show. Thank you, bro. The common phrase is double pee cups.
Double D cups? Yeah. Okay. We got double D cups. We got it. Thank you. Thank you. Sienna's got it. That's right. Sienna's got that. Stop talking about me. Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. Come on. M1 Jordan. Hey, yeah. I was wondering if you could do I'm a little teapot. Oh, my gosh. I'm a little teapot. Phenomenal. Phenomenal. I love that so much. Oh, the best one yet. M1 Spider. Are you there? Yes, I'm here. Yeah, I want to incorporate a slippery one wet. Slippery one wet. Oh, my gosh. This is going to be hard. Thank you. Thank you very much. Now, if Woods can't get one of these in there, then the person that calls gets a prize, right? No. Oh. No. We need two more. No, because we're letting them go. Yeah. Well, we had... One that was dropped. I have someone's name if you need a suggestion. Go ahead. Billy Ray Cyrus. Billy Ray Cyrus. What about applesauce? That's it. That's all we need. Applesauce is it. We're ready to rock. All right, Woodsy can come back in. Look at him. He's so, he's so freaked out. He is. How you doing, kid? Great. Doing all right?
I saw you guys laughing in here. Yeah, because these are great. These are fantastic. Okay, so we are going to call. Go ahead. You can get in there, Jay. Call an oil change place. Don't get nervous, pal. You know that. Yeah, right. That's why he just popped a whole bottle of Tums. I had heartburn. I can't hear me, only Woods. Bueller, stay off. Instant oil. Hey, man, this is Steve Woods. I've got a question for you. I've got an old Ferrari. Do you guys handle things like that? Have you ever seen the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off? It's the exact same Ferrari that they had in that movie. Not the same one, but the same model. Wow. Yeah, man. It's quite an automobile. That's what she said. We haven't handled many of them, but we have seen them before. So, yeah, it shouldn't be a problem. Okay. They're pretty hot, aren't they? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what she said.
Yeah, well, man, if you guys could do that for you, I love you, man. If you guys can knock that out, that'd be awesome. You know, a lot of guys kind of shy away from it because it's such an expensive car. Butter my biscuit. You know what I mean? Yeah, what day would you plan on bringing it in? Well, I mean, I've actually been calling around a few places this morning. And, you know, I'm just looking for the right spot, man. I mean, it's such an important car for me, man. The thing, I mean, it butters my biscuit, dude. That's how much I love that car. How's the family? Okay. So are you like the manager there? I am. You are the manager? So you got a family? I do have a family. Yeah, because, you know, how is your family? They're pretty good. Good. Well, the reason I ask, man, is I'm really into the, I got to make sure the place I go is a family business. I'm a family man, and I want, you know, anybody I deal with, they got to be a family man, too. Double teacups. We've been around since 1956, so we're doing pretty good. Good, good. Yeah, I was.
But in my wilder days, I wasn't so much of a family man. I dated an exotic dancer. She had double D cups. And, you know, that car is pretty much what sealed the deal with her. But I'll tell you, dude, I've really changed my life. I'm a little teapot. Pardon me? Pardon me? I'm proud of you. I've done the same thing in my life. Well, dude, it's, you know, I have two kids. I've got a little girl named Caroline, and she runs around the house singing, I'm a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle and here is my spout. You know that song? Yeah, I actually have heard that song before. Yeah, absolutely. Well, you know, back in the day, dude, I used to, I was a wild man. I partied with Bon Jovi right when they did Slippery When Wet. Man, we used to blow it out, dude. But like I said, I'm a reformed family guy, and a family business is something that's really, really important to me when I'm looking at giving somebody my business because it's an exotic car, and it takes a lot of work. Billy Ray Cyrus.
Wow. Where'd you get the Ferrari? Man, you know, I had a large inheritance at one time, dude. I mean, I was making like Billy Ray Cyrus money. I had a lot of coins. So it was one of the first things that I wanted to do was get a really fancy car. That's big money. Well, yeah, dude, it's big money. Well, I'm having lunch right now. I'm having pork chops and applesauce. And as soon as I finish, dude, I will head on down and we'll take care of business. Okay, well, we look forward to seeing you, and thanks for calling Instant Oil. My pleasure, brother. That was wow. That was awesome. Look at what's in. Dude, are we still not getting the gist? That was, dude, I thought it was great, man. I thought you nailed it. I thought all of those were great. I thought you nailed it. Yeah. What's the matter? Which one gave you fits? Let me see the list again. I was struggling.
Well, what got me was you're just explaining to him what a family man you are. Yeah. And Double D Cups. Well, I said I used to be. You're right. A family man. And then I go, I start laughing because I know the next one's Double D Cups. So I go, Double D Cups. And you see Woodsy go, dang. Like, he gets like, dude. Like, that's what he's got to do. Oh, I love it. No, and I think I just get, I get really skeeved out when I'm doing it. And when I hear him, I look at the list now, and there's nothing on there that's. That's too, you know, too weird. Brilliant. Fantastic. I was holding my breath. I love it. That was nerve-wracking. I love that game, man. Our mics were off. Mike turned them off. I know. We had to turn them off, and there was a couple of points, so you just start laughing. Yeah. It's fantastic. Let's see. I kind of want to go to this. I want to do this live because it's happening right now. On the Today Show today,
We have Chelsea King's parents, and they are on the Today Show right now. And so I want to go to that. It's happening live, and I want people to hear it. And predators shouldn't be allowed to be within reach. They shouldn't be allowed to. As we come to a close, I know it might be useful to you maybe and also to our viewers. If you could, Kelly, read a little bit of this poem. that your daughter wrote. I know that she was getting ready for the next phase of her life at college, and she wrote a poem about it called My Great Balancing Act. Could you read a little bit of it for us? Let me see. Yeah, let me grab it. Yeah, this was actually an essay that she submitted for a scholarship, and it was based on the Dr. Seuss book, Oh, the Places You'll Go. So it started out, Oh, the places I'll go, I know certainly not. I know, though, I know. that wherever I go, I'll learn a great many things, not just about history or math, but in fact, about the great balancing act. I'll travel great distance. I'll live far from home. I might just find myself all alone, but nevertheless, find myself I will. And thus, I will go and continue to grow. And then she goes on, and then it concludes, for I am myself.
And this will not change. Today is my day. My mountain is waiting. And I'm on my way. On that note, we have to leave it for now. Brenton, Kelly King, congratulations for having such a spectacular, spectacular girl. And thank you so much for joining us on this very difficult time. Best to you. Thank you. And now let's get a check of the weather for now. That is a, we just went to that live. And that is the family of Chelsea King. And they were reading a poem that Chelsea had written. And, you know, just, I guess, probably as she was preparing, like they said, she was preparing for that next stage of her life. And, you know, that's just, man, rips your heart out hearing that. But that is, that was from this morning's Today Show. We caught the end of it. We just were able to catch the end of it. And, you know.
What we will do, though, is we will have that in its entirety at some point for you. Because I want to get the whole thing for you so you can hear the entire interview. Again, that was from the Today Show this morning. This is kind of a cool song that I really want you to listen to the lyrics of as we go into this break after just hearing that poem. There's no way to be fixed again. Love heals your heart. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Next Saturday night, March 13th, it's going to be a good show at the House of Blues. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club are playing with the wigs. Go see it. Bad Religions at the House of Blues for three nights. All ages shows Friday, March 19th through the 21st.
The Vendor Banhart plays The Belly Up Thursday, March 25th, and Air play 4th and B on the 27th. So there you have it. Get out there and say some toast. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. And it's the largest Toyota authorized service facility in San Francisco. San Diego County. Well, I guess my choice is clear. Good. Going back to work now. Shipping. This is Doug. Doug, where do you get your... Stop it. Working. Toyota Carlsbad.
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Hey, morning, Dave. Morning, Sal. Looks like they gave me some of your mail by mistake. Uh-huh. Then you must have my missing lottery check. Nah, I'm keeping that. But here's the rest. Oh, wait, look. Another home loan offer. What you think? Indiana or Idaho? Where's it from? Not sure, but when I refinanced my home loan, I went closer to home. Really? Where? San Diego County Credit Union. San Diego County Credit Union handles home loans? Sure. Home loans, equity loans, refinancing, the whole enchilada. And they have a branch about a mile from here. Yeah, they're close, but... How about their rates? Really competitive. And San Diego County Credit Union's been around for over 70 years. So they aren't going anywhere, huh? Unlike me. I'm taking my kids to the park. Hey, let me know if my lottery check turns up. A great home loan is closer than you think. Just visit one of our convenient San Diego County Credit Union locations. Call 877-SDCCU for you. Or visit SDCCU.com. San Diego County Credit Union. Equal housing lender. For over 70 years now. God, I've been helping people save money on their car insurance. And what's better than that?
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of Shutter Island. Whatever the hell's going on here, it's bad. From director Martin Scorsese. Seen any walking nightmares lately. Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm gonna get the proof and I'm gonna blow the lid off this place. Shutter Island will keep you guessing to the very end. Who knows about this? Everyone. Shutter Island. Witted R. No one under 17 admitted without parents. Now playing. Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? KBCT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Guy has a child named Apple. He sure does. Beautiful child. Married to Gwyneth Paltrow. This is Chris Martin fact-checking hour on the Mikey Show. He likes long walks on the beach. Played piano since the age of seven. Really? He has no clue. Called a fake statistic. On they.com. That's right. They told me this. I love the cold, and I like to call them the cold play. So...
Thank you very much. Welcome back to the show. The Mikey Show is myself. I'm Mikey. Our sports guy, Woodsy, who is 34. We also have Lauren O'Brien, our assistant producer. She's 29. We got Sienna, our news girl. She is 24, rocking the scarf today. I like it. Going to the snow after this. That's right. And Jay is our producer, and he's 46 years old. By the way, Sienna's going to the snow today and has no real snow clothes to speak of. Nothing at all. Really nothing. Like, I don't even own a coat. This is not a lie. This is truth. She's going to the snow and she's taking a sweatshirt. I have a hooded sweatshirt and this scarf. And I didn't even know I had this scarf. I found it. And it was the best discovery of my life. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. I guess it's been because you got married last week and you didn't really have time to go snow shopping. Is that the deal? Yeah, we're going to Park City for our honeymoon this weekend. And I live in San Diego. Right. I don't go out of town very often. Yeah. And I don't, I mean, what do you need warmer than a sweatshirt here? Yeah, you don't. You don't. But anyway, you're doing your honeymoon today. I am. Yeah, right after the show, we skedaddle. Should be nice. Sienna actually has 10 signs for us fellas that let...
The ladies know when we are smitten. Now, I say the signs that we have because our signs of being smitten are different than you ladies' signs of being smitten. They're probably a little bit different. So, Sienna, what do you know? I'm really excited to see what you guys think. Okay, number one, he talks you up to all of his friends. Like, say a movie comes up and he's like, oh, that's Sienna's favorite movie. Really? You know, something like that. Really? You guys do that? Yeah, we do. We do do that. He enjoys doing most mundane activities with you, like laundry, running errands. He'll be down to do it. What's he? Did you do that? Do I do laundry? No, no, no. When you were first falling in love with your now wife. Uh-huh. Were you really into doing the mundane things with her, like laundry and so forth? I wasn't either. Nor have I. Nor am I now. And I've never been that way. Me neither. What about you, Lauren? Was your boyfriend Matt? Oh, look at her smiling. We got to get one. Oh, yeah, he did.
Todd was not like that at all. No? No. He's like, have fun doing laundry. Yeah. Do mine while you're at it. Yeah. I like my shirts extra crisp. The iron's over there. I'm like, okay. You're doing whites? Because I have a couple of t-shirts that I wouldn't mind throwing in there. Absolutely. Oh, jeez. What else? He'd rather talk to you than watch the latest episode of 24, or his favorite show, or play World of Warcraft, or, you know, he'd rather talk to you when he's smitten than do one of his favorite little... I think that that's kind of... No? What? What? No. Wow! Oh, I loved talking to Rebecca. I still love talking to Jamie, but, you know, ask her if... the Yankees are on or The Office is on or Seinfeld, and this is even eight, nine years ago, I'd be like, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you first started dating? Yeah, for sure. Be like, listen, I need, like, I need, I love The Office. Yeah? Give me 30 minutes. And we'd been, you know, together for whatever, and I'm like, I just, I need 30 minutes. M1 Winder and M1 Liz are in the studio. I want to talk to Liz. Liz, can you come over to this microphone? Sure. When you first started to date Winder. Yes.
Right up to the mic. When you first started to date Winder. Okay. Was he. Hold on. Did he want to give up all the stuff and just. Well, the good thing about us is we've always kind of liked the same things. He's a really big sports guy. Yeah. And I'm, believe it or not, really into sports as well. Right. So we kind of meshed well with that. And we would watch it together. It was as if you were into 24. So you would be watching if you were into it. It'd be all that stuff that he didn't have to give it up. You liked it. Right, right. That's cool. But then on the other extreme, he likes watching the girly shows with me as well. He's so bad. He's like, is anything else going to be revealed about me today? He just threw up his arms like, oh, really? Extreme Home Makeover is one of his favorites. Oh, really? Oh, dude. He's crying. He's crying. He balls. He balls. When I watch that show, I'm like the... I never watch it anymore. I watch hockey. He is kind of okay with hockey, so once in a while I'll get to watch hockey. How long have you guys been together?
Six years. Six years. We're not married, by the way. What's great is that if you see Winder, dude's covered in tats, you know. I mean, you would never expect this guy to be like the Extreme Home Makeover guy. Kind of like Woodsy. I mean, Woodsy's a guy's guy. You wouldn't necessarily think that he'd be watching Extreme Home Makeover. And weeping. And weeping. Weeping. Openly weeping. And he does, of course, the, what? No, nothing. No, I'm fine. I sit and just weep. And I'm not even ashamed to admit it because that show kills me. Write that down. Write that down. Hey, Woods. Oh, God. Hey, man, what's up? It's Frankie, dude. What's up, Frank? Hey, man, I was just going to tell you. I just think it's really crazy that you're really into that show, dude. I love it, too. Yeah, man. I mean, how can you not, dude? It's people helping people. Stream Home Makeover, dude. It hits me right here, you know? It gets me here, too, dude. Hey, bro. Yo. I was thinking about doing, like, a private. Extreme home makeover potty, bro. And I'm kind of thinking, like, maybe we should, if you're into the show and I'm into the show, maybe we should, like, design it, you know? When were you thinking about doing that? I don't know. Like, probably next time it's on, dude. What's that? It's Sunday? Like Sunday night? Yeah, I'm totally busy Sunday. You know what, then? I got an idea. All right. What if you and I, we get a bottle of Milo and we just...
Even on a night where it isn't on, we just plan it out. Like what night? Tuesday. I'm super busy Tuesday. Hey, the good thing is you have TiVo, so you can do it any day. Yeah, you can do it any night. I don't have TiVo. Lauren, that's a great idea. I don't have TiVo. I don't have TiVo. I don't have TiVo. I don't have TiVo. That's a great idea. Frankie might have TiVo. Frankie might have TiVo, yeah. I got TiVo. Yeah. You're in luck. I got Melo. I got TiVo. I got a buddy named Woods. We got a party. No, dude, I can't. I can't. I can't. I really, like, I got a lot of stuff going on with work. It's, you know, picnics. No, no picnics. All right. You have a lunch break, don't you? Yeah, don't you have a lunch break, man? We get together. I'll bring over a yellow legal binder pad so we can take some notes. Okay. All right. A bottle of Merlot. All right? All right. And then we'll plan out our extreme home makeover home edition party. Private. Maybe, yeah, maybe we'll do that. I just, you know, I got to check my schedule. I'll get back to you. Thank you, bro. Sounds fair. Sounds like a good time. Perfect. And then maybe if you got extra time, we'll lift some weights. Yeah, fine. Great. Thank you, Frankie. Frankie, love him. What other sign is out there that dudes are smitten with their lady? Well, we have a few more. He's not afraid to say, I love you.
Of course not. What guy would be afraid to say, I love you? Does he say it? What? What? He's like, I said on the first date. If I felt it, I would say it. That's crazy. I really love you. I really love you. You guys are so mushy. We are. We are. Santa called me cheesy yesterday because I got my wife a book of... The ways that I love you for Valentine's Day. That's not cheesy. Wait, wait, wait. It's romantic. Hold that thought. Let's press the pause button on it because I want to talk to Wednesday about early love you. And let's check on traffic. This report brought to you by Carfax. Are you in the market for a used car? You want to steer clear of rebuilt wrecks? A Carfax report can help you. Just say show me the Carfax or go to Carfax.com. Chula Vista tied up here on that 5 northbound before 8th Street. We have an overturned vehicle. It's an SUV that's over on the right shoulder. The driver is still in this car. An ambulance is on. San Marcos tied up, Barham Drive, the ramp to the 78, a pickup truck that's stuck and looks like the 5 southbound ramp to Rosecrans Street. Another car with some issues. It is a small white car sitting on that off-ramp. This report brought to you by Toyota Motor Sales USA. Your Toyota dealers committed to your satisfaction. They've extended their hours and added associates to take care of your service needs. They'll answer your questions and address your concerns. I'm Stacey Cohen on Smooth Jazz 98.1.
FM 949. Yeah, FM 949 probably would be the right thing to say. How weird. Anyway, back to K-Wave 97 FM here. It's been like Freaky Friday up here. Nothing's working. Nothing's falling apart. Yeah. And static electricity, like, literally knocked the radio station off the air before 6 a.m. this morning. I'm serious. Knocked the station off the air. Printers aren't working. Nothing is working. And yet. And yet. We rise above. That's right, Woodsy. Like a rooster rising from the ashes. Right, Boots? Right, M1 Boots? So, Woods, when you know, you know. Yeah, dude. Or when you're drunk, you're drunk, man. That's the deal. You get that mushy feeling early and you're like, hey, man, I love you. You don't love them. Yeah, of course you don't. Yeah, you don't. Or you think you do. You think you do. At that moment, I feel like, I really feel at this moment, like, right now, that I love you. Like, I have love for you. And not only do I have love for you, but I feel right now, at this moment, I need, I need to tell you. You need to know right now that I love you so much that it's uncontainable. I have to tell you. I'm physically hurting. I might barf if I don't tell you how much I love you right now. I think I might lose.
everything I've ever worked for in my life unless I tell you at this very moment that I am deeply and madly in love with you. We are hopeless romantics. Do you guys need to be alone? When we said that, when Woodsy and I said that we were the early I love you's, Lauren got a look on her face like somebody just stuck a lemon in her mouth. Do you know why? Why? Why? I'd like to know why. She's looking at me. I was going to say. I have the same theory you do. Let's hear it. I have the same theory you do. I almost have a gut feeling. I know that before a guy has tried to kiss you and you've said, whoa. Yeah. Has a guy ever told you that he loves you and you looked at him and said, cool, thank you. No. Really? Do you say it back? Yep. Every time? It's only happened twice. But it takes six years before you accept it.
It takes 6.4 years. No, but if it ever happened too early, I mean, I don't think that person would be dating me or fall in love with me if they weren't, you know, the type of person. Yeah, and if they didn't know what they were getting themselves into. I bet Matt was scared to death to say it. So what guy is he? I'm not, and Mikey's not. Dude, he had to convince her that he had feelings for her and that she should have feelings for him. He had to convince her. I know. Hey, if Guy had said it on day one, I would have been running for the hills. Oh, yeah. Okay, but day... 14 sometimes, you know? Nope. Day four? Nope. Okay, then what... Let me break out my notepad. I have a 36-day waiting period. Yeah, what is the waiting period? What is the waiting period? What about when you know you know? But I don't think you can know at day one, day four. What's the earliest appropriate time, if you're dating, for a guy to say, I love you? For me, personally? Yes. And then I'm going to ask Sienna because Sienna got the same grossed out look like, oh boy, with you two early lovebirds. Over under. Over under a year. Oh, under. Under for sure. Really? Yeah. I say the, don't respond. I'm going to give an over under. Don't respond. I would say that the over under is five months. I'm going to take the over. I'm going to take the under. Sienna. Sienna. On Lauren. Under. Lauren. Under. Yep. Yeah. So what's appropriate?
I think it depends. I think one month is my cutoff. So if a guy tells you a month and a week into your relationship, I love you, you're okay with it? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. That's fine. Oh, yeah, that's great. No, she has a heart. Really? Is it weird? You don't even know their middle name. Really? What are you doing? What if you love them, though? You're smitten. Yeah. You have a crush. Really? That's not love. Really? Okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Come on. A month and a week, you're dating. You're so stoked on this person. And you're like, I could be with this person forever. I bet you did. I bet you did. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Something. I didn't say I love you. Tell him. Something. No. Why? Because I wasn't sure of the love level. Yes, you were. No, I wasn't. I bet you loved his guts off. You loved his little face right off. I loved his face. Something like that. But okay, if you're with someone a month and a week, if something were to happen and you were to break up...
You'll get over it. Yeah. Of course. You get over it quickly, too. What does that have to do with loving them? If it's love, you don't get over it quickly. Well, I think it's just situational. Like, if two people are dating for a month and a week and they see each other, like, once a week and aren't really talking a lot, come on. And wait a minute. Now we've decided that the definition of love means that you won't get over it if you break up. Right. Yes. Okay. I don't buy it. All right. I don't buy it. I'd say the earliest I've ever thrown an I love you out there. One hour. You had me at hello. I know that I've done a weird two-weeker. Oh, 100%. I know I've done a weird two-weeker. Okay. I need to know something. I need to know something. What, Sienna? Woods and Mikey. Yeah. Because I don't think Lauren... classifies in this and I definitely don't. How many times have you told someone that you love them? How many people have you said I love you to? God, dude. I mean, I told Woods this morning on an email. Yeah, he did. No, a girl that you thought you were in love with and you told her I love you. Well, every girl that I've dated that I've like, you know, been boyfriend and girlfriend with I've said I love you. What? That was my girlfriend? How would you not tell your girlfriend you love her?
Oh, my gosh. I feel like I'm naked. You're not? Because I'm right there with you, arm in arm. That's why I asked you guys this. The only girls I love. Yeah. Count it. Count it. I want to know. Because my answer is the same. And I'm telling you, I've told girls that, you know, listen. Here's the deal. Woods, right? I mean, it's your girlfriend. It's really, really easy to explain. What? Oh, I love this. We're weird. No, we're not weird. We're not weird. No, I just found out. No, you're not weird. I just found out right now that I'm weird. Here's the deal. There are, and you guys would probably agree with me on this, there are different levels of love. Yeah. There are different levels. It's not an all-defining, all-consuming thing, right? I cannot stop smiling. I'm a creep. No, you're not, dude. You're normal. I just found out I am. Mikey is 10 years old. Did you know that I'm falling in love with you? Now, that's a good bit right there. That's a real, real good bit. We should. The youngest, you told someone you love them. I think I'm falling in love with you. Are you talking to me? Hi, Psycho. It's Mikey. How are you? I'm good. How are you?
Oh, good. I just want to tell you I love you. Well, okay, great. You're a creep. Yeah, beat it. You guys still haven't answered. I want to know how many times. Like 10? And you were being sincere at the time. Yeah, for sure. Like you thought you were in love with that person. Lauren, how many times have you? Two. I'm two, too. Yeah. You're also 24. I'm a married woman. You're married now, yeah. I'm a married woman. I was smart. I waited. But no, I think there's different levels. And I think. I've been with somebody for a month and been like, dude, I love this person. And by love, meaning I would do anything for them and do anything to protect them. See, I've been to the point after a month where I would think that I was falling in love with them, but I wouldn't have even told my friends, I think I'm falling in love with them. I'm just not that person. Or maybe I was just trying to sleep with them. I can't remember. Probably that. I knew that was coming. It could be. It could be that. Maybe I just want. It helps. Maybe it was lust, Mike. It could have been lust for both of us. I lust you. I lust you. I'm telling you. Well, listen. I long for you. I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that my wife now, I've never been in love like, you know, I am with my wife. Of course. But to all the girls I've loved before. All the girls I've loved. Stop it, Mike. I'm just telling you that.
I'm just saying, I thought that I loved every girlfriend I had. I thought I loved her. You guys didn't think you loved your boyfriends? You guys are the creeps. Cold-hearted. Cold-hearted snakes. Okay, you're obviously, you're with them for a reason, but like, I don't just jump on the I love you train. You guys are like dudes. These girls are like dudes. You guys are women. More importantly. Seriously, like, I thought I loved the girlfriends I had. I thought I loved them. Yeah, you did. How's your man pun? Your what? Ew. Ew, that was gross. Like tampon. Ew. It's a manpon. Did you have to explain it, Sienna? Because it was not funny. Do you have any manpons in your man purse for me and you, please? First of all, it's called a merse. A merse. All right. Second of all. Woods, your sports should start with ballet. Whatever. I'm just finding out right now. Like, I'm 39 years old. I didn't realize that people. that told their girlfriends they loved them are weirdos. No, that's not what we're saying. But you know the bit? But I've told every girlfriend I ever had I loved her. Every girl that I've ever said it to has said it right back and followed it up real sweetly. Stop. I think every girl, well, I know because they were my girlfriends. They were your girlfriends. Exactly. You're not weird. You also have years on these girls.
And, you know, Sienna's married at 24. I mean, that's Sienna's only told two people that she loves them. Todd's one of them. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously. How about you, L.O.B.? Two. Two people. And Matt's one of them. Good Lord. And Matt's one of them. Yep. The only other person I told was a very serious boyfriend I was with for over two years. And that took like six months. Yeah. I don't just throw that word out there. I mean, I do to my friends and I'll tell you guys I love you, but not like that kind of love, you know? Yeah. Okay, tell us some more that we're missing with the signs. We stopped at that one because it really captured our imagination. So in case you don't know what we're talking about, we started with 10 signs he's smitten. So ladies, if you just started dating someone, or guys, you did, these are the signs. Now, he misses you always, meaning he texts you, thinking about you, just wanted to say hi. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. Of course. Of course. Of course. Do you still do it? Text my wife? Yeah. I miss you or something like that? Absolutely. Just thinking of you, dot, dot, dot. Let me see. I do sweet things, but I don't know if I do it in text. Yeah, you leave notes and stuff, which is really cute. Yeah, I don't know that I do texts. Let me see. But Jamie, your wife Woods is in another state, so that's more normal. Yeah, I get this one this morning. It says, no more wake-ups.
Meaning that we don't have any more wake-ups before we get to see each other. What does that mean? That means that I don't have to, when I wake up tomorrow, I'll be with her. He flies there tonight. We do the countdown, you know, of when we get to see each other. So if she's coming in two weeks, it's 14 more wake-ups. And so we count down every day. It's very funny. Lauren is bored by that. Let me read you these romantic texts between my wife and I. Did you get the wireless working, babe? These are some of the romantic texts between my wife and I. From my wife to me. Jake had a really bad morning. Cried a lot. Rise okay. Luke's not doing very good. Very cranky. I texted back. That stinks. What a bummer. We're going to see Sherlock Holmes today, babe. Is it good? You saw it, right? She texts back. Yeah, but I'm not sure if you're going to like it. There's a pretty dark part in it. It's fiction though, babe. Don't freak out. Okay, hon. Then she texts back, Robert Downey Jr. is really great in it. He's such a great actor. That's heartbreaking to read, isn't it? I mean, as you hear that, who's not tearing up reading that? Choked up. That was beautiful. That's a very typical text between my wife and I. Just so you guys know, I have to just throw you a bone here. My mom sent me a text that her dad proposed to my grandma on the first date, and she said yes. So you know what? Man after my own heart. Thank you. So, you know. What up?
Work sometimes. Speaking of love. Speaking of love. Oh, look at this. Look at this. Lauren's boyfriend is here. That was touching. Lauren's boyfriend, Matt, is here. Talking to this microphone. He's playing tomorrow night at the belly up. He looks sharp. He looks fancy. Very suave. So, did you hear the topic? We're talking about love. Yeah, I was pulling up and I was hearing about Saying I love you. I really want to hear your story right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll make you. Oh, look at Lauren is like blushing. She's blushing. Oh, tell the story. Tell the story. Tell the story. Tell the story. Tell the story. Are you going to BS on her? Lauren is crawling under the hood. See, I don't know what I missed, but basically. Yes, Matt. Just go with it. Just go with it. Oh, my gosh. Please tell us. The day that I built up the courage. The vein's out. The vein in her neck just came out. Her forehead. And it only comes out in her forehead when she is really embarrassed. Yeah. She looks like a third grader right now, like around the boy that she's going to crush on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it was awful. It was like.
So I finally built up the courage and I was like, okay, okay, I'm going to say it. How many times did you vomit before? Three. I was just having a few drinks to get ready for it. Super, super premeditated, super premeditated. Like you knew you were going to say, I love you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to do it. But yeah, when I went in there and, you know. How long had you been boyfriend and girlfriend? He came in. Several months. Several months. Several months. Okay. And so how did it happen? So I don't I just kind of built up the courage and I was like, you know, it's just we're having a conversation about something back and forth. We were at her old apartment. Yeah. So and I was just kind of like, so, you know, and this and that and this and that. And, you know, I just I just really love you. And then there wasn't any quite like answer to it. I kept with a thought. I kept the thought going. Well, it wasn't like... I see why she didn't answer. It wasn't like a...
I love you. Yeah, it wasn't like I was down on one knee. It was built into the conversation. Right. You were like reading the Gettysburg Address and slipped it in there and then continued. He was trying to be sly about it. Four score and seven years ago. I love you. We stowed upon this continent a grave. It was almost like the subliminal guy. He's like, so what do you think about we go to Fidel's tonight and I love you and I really want to get those new margaritas. There was a pause. There was a pause afterwards, right? No response from her. So I'm like. Weird. So you say it. So you say it. You finish your sentence and then it's like pause. So we move on. So we move on. Oh, God. Yeah. It was hanging out there. It was sitting there and we just moved right on. And the conversation goes for about 10 more minutes. Then we, yeah, I'm like, okay. It's sitting there like a clay pigeon ready to get shot down. Sitting next to him having a cigarette going, really, dude? Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait, time out. Lauren, you heard him say it, though, right? And you just went with it. And the sentence finishes, and Lauren lights up a cigarette, crosses her leg. She's like, and? Really? Really? What else? That's it. So, like, let's see here. Then, like, about ten minutes went by, and I'm just. Oh, worst ten minutes of your life. Yeah, and we're still talking. And then, like, we come to, like, a really awkward silence. And I'm like.
I must have stumbled like 25 times before I could say I was like, so do you think that you could love me? Look at my skin. Look at my arm. I have goosebumps right now. Matt came in at the best time of the morning. I'm the biggest tool ever. Mikey is in a fetal position on his chair. Mikey would have foiled his windows and never come out of his house. I want to wrap a wet towel around my head. I want to wrap a wet towel around my head. And I want to just go to a happy place. Like, oh, my God. Like, of all the awkward things to say, this poor guy, she forced this poor man. She forced this poor man to say.
Could you ever love me? And he's wilting. Yeah. Could you? He's losing strength. Yeah. Could you ever love a monster like me? Could you ever love a monster? A monster. A monster. Mike, he thought he said lobster. What does that mean? That's better. Oh, my God. Did you ever love a lobster, Mikey? Oh, my gosh. Mikey is on the ground. No, I wasn't expecting to tell that, but it was brutal. I mean, honestly, and then she was like, you know, after that, she was like, yeah. No, no, no. She was like, no. She gave me a big hug, and she was like, yes, I love you. Really? Did she give me one of these? Yeah. Nice going. Pat on the back. Yeah, let me give you a hug. You come here. I could love you. I could love you. Oh, my gosh. That was gold. See, I wouldn't have told that. I'm glad that he told that because I would not have told that. He said, did he say, quote, so do you think that you could love me? He said, and I quote, so do you think that
Maybe you could love me too. Oh my gosh. I'm the worst. That's not, it's cute. Mark that down. I respectfully agree. No. Matt, that's sweet. What a good dude. They're hugging. They're hugging. They're having a moment. Okay, I'm out of here. Leave it. On that note. Leave it. Thanks for coming in, Matt. Leave it to L.O.B. to make that poor kid. Sweat. Sweat. Sweat. It looked like he jumped in a pool, I bet. Like he jumped in a swimming pool. He's hit the bar just going, tequila, duh. That's why he had drinks before, because he knew what he was in for. He's at her front doorstep with a bottle. Ten minutes went by. He knew. He knew who he was going out with that night. No joke. Here's the thing, though. I thought, man, I thought I was gold. I thought it was going to be like... Every guy does. He can get a few drinks and you're like... How did she not love me? Yeah, you're knocking on the door. You're like, hey, love me!
Open the door. Guess who's out here? Love is. Love's out here. Open the door, baby. Because you know what's happening tonight? Love is happening right here. Right freaking now. Ding dong. Open the door. Open the door. Right now. Because you know who's standing out here waiting for you? It's love. It's... Open sesame. Open love the meat. It's love in the air. Ten minutes later, do you think that you could love me back? Oh, gosh. Oh, my scalp hurts. Poor guy. The poor guy. That was the greatest thing I've ever heard. That's so great. And I've heard a lot of I love you, I love you backstories. That's probably the best one. No question. No question. Now, so after that happened, after that happened, was I love you flying around like all over the place?
Yeah, I was like in a blur, you know. After that, it was kind of like, I don't remember everything. Right, you blacked out probably, you know. At that point, I've been drinking so hard. Completely, completely. Yeah. Yes, they were. It's always real, like, once you first say I love you, though, it's always really awkward for the first few weeks. Like, do I say it now? No. I don't want to say it too much. You got to break the seal. Yeah. You break the seal. Have you ever texted it first? No, what? Have you? That's how I told Rebecca. Stop. No. Stop. True story. I'm going to hear every single story right now. We are blood brothers, I think. I think so. I think so. We are cut from the same ilk, dude. Do you want to know? We're cut from the same clown. Dude. Yeah. We were cut from the same clown. The same clown. The same Shriner clown. We poured it out of a little tiny car and created me and you. Oh, you guys. Dude. And you want to know what was worse? What? She didn't get. The part of the text, because I sent, you know, I send those long texts. Yes, we do. Eight parters. Yeah. And so she didn't get that part. You are such a wimp, Michael Esparza. How could you ever text someone that? Right now, Mikey's in the fetal position covering his hands because he knows I'm about to yell at him. I want to suck my thumb. Mikey, you send a text like that because you're too scared to say it in person. That's the only reason why. I thought it would be cute. That's all. I thought it would be cute.
That's what I'm saying. But how bad were the minutes? You had to wait for a response. Oh, it was terrible. And so she responded though, right? Well, she asked, what was that thing? And so I had to write it again. I had to write it again. I had to text it again. She was probably making sure that it was supposed to be sent to her. Well, there wasn't a lot of other morbidly obese guys. You know what I mean? A lot of other women that were really, so. I'm not so sure about that. So do we work our way through all the different 10 signs? No, there's more. Like what? Oh, my God. I am exhausted from the laughter from Matt. Thank you for that, Matt. You are adorable. Oh, wait, wait, wait. There is. Wait a minute. We do have a call. M1 Sarah. Hello. So you knew when? Actually, my husband knew. And I found this out later. We were just friends. We had like a huge group of friends. I was like, oh, he's cute, he's cool, whatever. But I had just gotten out of a really long relationship. And he was leaving to Yuma because he was in the Marine Corps at the time. So this is like two months or so after I met him. And we were talking and texting because he was a really cool guy. And long story short, he asked me out through text. Like you told, Rebecca, you loved her. Notice how she laughed when she said that.
No, it's cute. It's cute. It's cute. I'm totally not, like, ragging on at all. He actually called me on the phone, like, two days later and asked me to marry him. Wow. And we've been married for three years. Wow. Look at you guys. Look at you guys. Congratulations. That's awesome. Actually, we met through the Mikey show. Is that right? Yeah. No way. Match, make a match, make a make me a match. Yeah. That's awesome. I can't see too well. Is that Chuck Woolery over there? Yeah. Chuck Woolery. You know what, Mikey? Actually, there are four different people that met through your show just in my group of friends. Three of them have had kids and four of them are now married. That's crazy. Yeah. Wow. That's cool. Yeah. This is like in our heyday. We were all, you know, partying, whatever. We should get them in here. We should get them in here. We should. I can totally call everybody. The ones who have kids, I'm sure they'd love to bring them in. My son is actually almost the exact same age as Ryan and Luke.
That's awesome, man. That's so cool. Is the name Mike worked somewhere in all of the children's names? They're all named Esparza. There you go. Esparza Johnson. Excuse me, if I may interrupt you. This is Neil Diamond. Wow, Neil. Hey, Neil. The reason I came in is because, well, with all the talk of love today, I thought it would only be appropriate to play a little All the Girls I've had before. Oh, lovely. Did I slur when I just said that? Yes, you did, but I was trying to ignore it. To all the girls I've loved before. Who came in and out my door. I know there was a few. I know that because I puked. Oh, Neil. From all those filthy drugs before. Neil, those aren't right. To all those filthy drugs that I did with my agent, Maury. What are we singing about? We're doing the same song. All the girls you loved before. Right. To all the girls I loved before. Who came into the cab. Where's this going? Not really sure. All I can tell you is this one goes out to you, Sarah. The girl that just called. The one that said that all the M1s got freaky deaky and made a bunch of babies. Love it. Love that you're listening to the Mikey show. It's absolutely sweet.
When we come back, we're going to be telling you about, I got one for you. Let's do this. This came up off the air. We're talking about the weird food combinations that we like to put together and eat. Like Sienna, give me one that you do. I love jalapeno poppers with strawberry jelly. I would do that. So good. I would definitely do that. No doubt in my mind. Sweet and spicy. I like to put ketchup in my macaroni and cheese. Oh, that's awful. I put A1 in mine. Oh, that's even worse. I would do that. Hot and spicy Tabasco A1 in mac and cheese. I would absolutely do that. I put bee pollen and then wheat barley. On FM 94.9. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What'd you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man.
We marinate it for 24 hours, and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour, spicy, all at the same time. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Mama Testa Taqueria, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. Maybe I should write a jingle. Te la lavas. Te la lavas. The number 1-800-1-800-7-AIS. Oh, man. AIS, have you called yet? If you haven't, here's the number 1-800-1-800-777-4-AIS. AIS is saving people money. That's the whole point. In fact, average savings with AIS, this is your auto insurance, $650 a year on your auto insurance. Now, that's a lot of savings. $650 a year, a lot for most people. I save $1,600 a year. That could be your story. There are many people who will call the show and tell us that it is their story, and hopefully you're one of them. Call AIS right now. Hopefully they save you money, and then you call me here at 5701-949, and you tell me the story about how much they saved you. We'd love to hear from you. Their number again, 1-800-777-4AIS. Doesn't take much time.
You can get a quote in less than 10 minutes. I did. And you don't even have to do anything. They take care of everything for you. They'll set it up, do the whole deal. The greatest part. That's the best. 1-800-777-4AIS. Can I help you find something, sir? Yeah, I need a new cell phone, but I don't know which one. Do you recommend anything? Oh, sure. This is the one you want. Blazing internet access, 10 megapixel camera with video. It's got everything. Nah, out of my price range. Well, I could sell you the box. It comes with a 10-megapixel picture of the phone, and it's wireless. You want to sell me a box with no phone in it? Hey, if you want to save money on something new, you can't expect to get everything you want. Settling for less is not smart. What is smart is getting more car for your money at CarMax. Guaranteed quality used cars can cost a lot less than new cars, so you can get more car for less money by shopping at CarMax. Just come into our store for written details about our five-day money-back guarantee. Plus, for the money you spend on a stripped-down new car, you can get a fully loaded used car at CarMax. Don't settle for less with a new car. Get everything you want, including a no-hackle price you can afford at CarMax. Because now more than ever, the smart choice is CarMax. I don't like weeds. Used to be I'd kill them, but then new weeds would take their place. I didn't like that. So now I kill them with Roundup Extended Control. It does two jobs at once. One, it kills the weeds you have down to the root. And two...
It prevents new weeds from growing. So long, dandelion. Adios, crabgrass. Just spray Roundup Extended Control wherever you don't want weeds. It forms a barrier that prevents new ones from growing for up to four months. And I like that. Because, like I said, I don't like weeds. Plus, Roundup Extended Control comes in an easy-to-use pump-and-go sprayer with up to five minutes of continuous spray. Keeps my shooting man from getting tired. Roundup Extended Control kills and prevents. Because you don't like weeds. Pick up Roundup Extended Control at your local lawn and garden. There's a random maze and you'll never leave this island. Critics and audiences everywhere are blown away by the mind-bending twist of Shutter Island. Whatever the hell's going on here, it's bad. From director Martin Scorsese. I've seen any walking nightmares lately. Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm gonna get the proof and I'm gonna blow the lid off this place. Shutter Island will keep... Well, whoever they are, they're right. Because one, Navy federal mortgage rates are at all-time lows. And two, a Navy federal mortgage means no hassles. And three, 100% financing is now available. So, that's a low-rate mortgage, Navy federal service, available 100% financing, and, oh yeah, a homebuyer tax credit up to $8,000. Oh, wait.
That's four. Oh, well. They also say the more the merrier. To get started, apply today at NavyFederal.org. Equal housing lender. Mama Testa Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? This report is brought to you by the 2010 Census. The Census form arrives in mid-March. Take 10 minutes to answer 10 simple questions. Help your community get what it needs. Learn more at 2010Census.gov. On the 5 northbound before 8th Street, it's an overturned car. This is a solo crash. It's an SUV over on the right shoulder. The driver was still in the vehicle when this thing went upside down. Ambulance is on the scene. They've got tow trucks called. A traffic advisory has been issued due to the backup to J Street. National City on the 805 northbound before Plaza Boulevard. We had an earlier accident there, a car in the median wall, but it looks like they've cleared that. So you should be able to get through now. And Takati headed that way at the 94. I always love this. Large animals roaming on the streets. It's a livestock run. Be careful.
A good pair of horns on the front of your car. Who could deny that? Let's see. This report is brought to you by Bramman University, part of the Chapman University system. Find out about Bramman's limited-time $500 scholarship, but hurry. Classes start March 29th. Visit bramman.edu today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Family headcount. Pointy, pointy, spiky, stylish. Now. Where's Baldy? More on FM 94.9. Applause from Mama Testa. Woo! Woo! Let me tell you something, man. Mama Testa is special. That is the best way to put it, man. Thank you. I'm a foodie. One of the things that I will say is that there's good food, and good food is just that. But then there's food that I kind of put in a different category that I call special. Okay. And what that for me means is that...
A, you're not going to get it anywhere else. You can only get it at this one specific place. 1417 University Avenue. That is correct. And the other thing about it is, is that it's just far and above the rest and sort of rewrites the book on how it should be done. Thank you. I can tell that that's what you guys do. As soon as I taste the food, it's one of those deals where you put it in your mouth and all of a sudden you stop and you kind of pause and you go, oh, wow. that's real good and real different. And that's you guys. When it hits your lips, it's just so good. Yeah. And see, the funny part about that, you're saying that we were writing the book. All we're doing is bringing back to the original book is the way I like to tell people because different, you know, I describe Martians as different. We don't want to call ourselves Martians. We're just authentic Mexican. It's all we are. Yeah. So all we did was take away the Tex-Mex, the Southern style to it, the Cal-Mex, and we took it back to the way it was. Yeah, I did say taking back the Tex-Mex. That's right. I know they're looking at you. We're doing that for you. Remember the Alamo, bro. That's right. That's right. That's right. And all we did was take every recipe in our book, take it back to the very first time that we found it written anywhere. So we took it back to the original flavors the way they were meant to be. So we didn't really rewrite the book. We just gave you the book the way it was supposed to be written. Yeah. That's all we did. It's so good. It's so, so good. And they're located.
They're located on University Avenue, 1417, University Avenue. In Hillcrest, right out of the corner of Richmond University. We've been there now for six years, actually. When did you make the decision to do the free-range meat deal? From the beginning. Really? From the beginning. From the moment that I wanted to create a restaurant, I wanted to make sure that I was going to serve you the things I wanted to eat. I didn't want to charge you for anything. I wasn't happy paying for myself. We don't believe in hormones. We don't believe in rushing the cattle or the chickens or the pork to hurry up and grow. We will grow a pig or a cow from the beginning when it's ready. Then you have your wedding or your quinceanera. And that's when you kill your animals and you eat them. So there's no extra stuff on it. So I wanted to give you the real flavor of Mexican food. I didn't want the extra thing because it wasn't going to taste Mexican. I needed to give you the no hormones and no antibiotics in the meat. The same thing for the salsas. I needed to make them from scratch. There's nothing that comes out of cans at the restaurant. It needs to be fresh to give you that flavor that you will get if you were to be invited into a Mexican home, give you the authentic freshness of everything. Here's what I thought was really cool. As we're going through and he's got all the food set up, he's got all these different sauces. And he was saying the sauces are like wines. You can pair them with the different foods that you got. A lot of people think, you know, because of...
What the restaurants in San Diego have been doing for so many times, there's only two colors. They just come into restaurants and go, do you have green or red? It's so much more than just two colors. It's flavors. It's ingredients. It's depending on where you're at. I can literally invite you to my house any given day of the week, even if I don't know you're coming. And I can open up a fridge and make a salsa out of anything. And that's what I wanted to display in the restaurant. So we have things with mango and papaya. We have things with sesame seed, which is one of the ones we have out there. We have tomatillo and parmesan. To show you, there's different textures, colors. smells, anything you can do, and then you're going to pair them off with the dish to bring more flavor out of both the salsa and the dish that you're going to eat. Will you do that at my house? Sure. I'm telling you. This food reminds me a lot of the food that was at Mikey's Quinceanera. Yes, exactly. That's why it hits home for me. That's why it hits home for you so much. He makes these flautas that are... No, no. That's my Tex-Mex. You Tex-Mex people? I'm an idiot. Go ahead. No, no, no. I'm not here to call you that. I'm just here to tell you. I'm here to call myself that. Okay. They're rolled tacos. They're rolled tacos, Jalisco style, because we also serve them at the restaurant Guerrero style, which are serving a beef broth or chicken broth, depending on what you're getting. Flautas, you Tex-Mex people thought it was really cute to call taquitos the ones that are made with corn tortillas. Taquito translated means any taco that's small.
So I can give you anything and call it a taquito if you go to Mexico. To you guys, it's a real taco made out of corn tortillas. You guys thought the flautas, because they're made out of flour tortillas, was cute to call them flautas. In Mexico, in the city of Jalisco, flautas. Flauta means flute. You cannot play a flute if it's not hollow. So it's literally one of the... Exactly. That's how it's going to sound. Hang on a second. This is Neil Diamond. He knows how to play. I didn't tell people for years that I was a flauta. Flutist, Neil. I said flauta. Floutist. You play the flute. That's what I was trying to say over here. What's the matter with me? You from Texas? Is the blonde going to start to copy me again when I'm... Don't copy me. Don't copy me. I hate it when she... Woods. Woods. Woods. I'm going to play the flauta. Oh, God. It was sharp. It was sharp. I'm sorry. It's a little sharp. That one, I'll admit, got away from me. That one did. I'll admit, that one got away from me. Man. That was definitely a high C note right there. It was a high C. Yeah. Let me try again. Are we ready? Ready. Better. It's beautiful. Not better. Sharp. Sharp. Apologize. In Jalisco, we call that sharp. Oh, okay. El Sharpo. El Sharpo. It was beautiful. What did I play? Really good. What did I play? What was that? I'm a little teapot? Nope. Wrong. Long View by Green Day. Wrong. Sienna.
Black Eyed Peas, let's get it started. You're perfect. Of course that's what it was. Of course that's what it was. That's what I thought. She's brilliant. Thank you so much. Well, listen, Mama Tessa is the best. The best. And you could go see them. 1417 University Avenue. And you could see Caesar. The food is incredible. I can't stop eating it right now, by the way. It's so good. There's more outside. Let's go out there. Thank you very much. And you're going to be coming back. We're going to have you come back for a few weeks, and I couldn't be happier, man. I'm going to get my dad in here. My dad is going to flip out. He's going to flip out. So good. I'm going to go get some more non-floutes. Thank you. I don't even still know. I'm going to go get some of those little rolled corn tuck. What is it? It's a taquito. Taquito. Taquito. Roll tuck. Roll tuck. I feel this big right now. Yeah, well, you know what? I mean, you've got to figure it out. Things in Texas are big. That's right. Why are you feeling small? That's right. That's right. Thank you, Cesar. Appreciate it. Thank you for having us, guys. You're the best. Thank you. You really are the best. Okay. Some of the other things going on. So we were talking about the different things that we like to put together. I like macaroni and cheese with ketchup. I do. Everybody's got their weird thing. Sienna said she likes jalapeno poppers with strawberry jam. Oh, so good. Everybody's got their thing. What's your thing? What do you do that's weird that everybody looks at you and goes?
What are you doing for whatever reason you like it? I knew a girl that used to love to dip potato chips, Ruffles potato chips, in mayonnaise. See, I like them with mustard on them. You do? I can do that. That wouldn't bother me. I can do it. But some people, there's nothing in the world that you could do. They're not going to eat mayonnaise. They're not going to eat mustard. It doesn't matter what you put on it. They're not going to like it. People that don't like mustard, what do you put on your hot dog? That's what you put on a hot dog. Mustard's so good. Got to. It's delicious. I really like the pink Starburst, the strawberry flavored. And when I eat them, I drink milk at the same time. It's like strawberry milk. It's like strawberry. It's like strawberry milk. His eyes started watering. Well, if I don't have quick Nestle powder, then I can't. But if I have a pink Starburst, then I can't. Fair enough. Foul. Yeah, you spit on me. Woods only uses skim milk. Woods only uses skim milk. And when he puts it on his cereal, he just puts like a little shot. A dollop. A dollop. Bloop, bloop.
That's it. Like, what's the point at that point? If we did one of those things where, like, we all had to eat something that grossed us out, it was like a funny bit. Yeah. Bring a big glass of whole milk, and I promise you we better do it at 9.55 because I got to go home. Really? Nobody ever bring whole milk. Never. Never drink it. Ever do it. This one is going to make people sick. Okay. But this is what the person likes to eat. M1 Mimi. Hi. How are you? Hi, Mikey. Hi. I'm good. How are you? Good. Good. My husband loves peanut butter and Miracle Whip sandwiches. That is the filthiest. It is by far the filthiest thing. It could be good. But I've heard of it before. It could be good. That's not the first time I've heard of that. Miracle Whip and peanut butter? I've heard banana on there, too. Oh, banana and peanut butter is great. With Miracle Whip. Oh, that's not. It could be good. Dude, Miracle Whip's mayonnaise. Who would have thought peanut butter and jelly would be good? You know what I mean? It's two sweet things going together. Yeah, but I don't know. If somebody said, yeah, I'm going to put a little bit of jam on some chocolate, that wouldn't weird me out. Yeah. Mayonnaise with peanut butter, that weirds me out. Not even mayonnaise, but Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip. He got the idea from my grandpa, so it's really funny. And you know what Miracle Whip is? Tangy. Yeah.
Tangy with peanut butter. That's filthy. I got with the weirdest sandwich that you may ever have. And I got it when I was at Graceland to go see Elvis's house. I'm a huge Elvis fan. Yeah. And his favorite sandwich is it's it's. Here's the recipe. Two tablespoons of butter, eight slices of white bread, half a cup of smooth peanut butter. So far, so good, right? Did you say eight slices of white bread? Yeah, eight slices of bread. Wait, wait, wait. I don't understand that. You're going too quickly. You're going too fast. Just wait. Okay, okay. This is going to make, how many sandwiches is this going to make? I think this is going to make, oh, this yields four sandwiches. Okay, great. So let's say we're going to make one for everybody. He's just going off the top of his head here. Eight slices of white bread, half a cup of smooth peanut butter. So far, so good. One large ripe banana sliced, one fourth cup of honey. Sounds great. Twelve slices of bacon sautéed until crispy. Bacon, peanut butter, honey, banana sandwich fried. Sounds delish. Sounds good. What fried? The whole sandwich fried in that butter. It's a fried sandwich. I think it's going to be amazing. Yeah.
I think I want to, I had it, I had it at Graceland. I had like a bite. And CPS didn't come and pick you up and take you right out of there. Like if you let your child eat that, you would think that they would rush in. It's like money. What are those sandwiches? Money Christmas. Everything that you said, I thought, I think every four years a person could eat that until you got to the, like the whole sandwich was fried. And I was like, oh, that, that, that, that, that's a, that should be illegal. Your heart would explode. bad for you. Just have a cocaine sandwich. Yeah, he's like, here's what I do. Two pieces of Wonder Bread, half a pound of cocaine, okay? Some pot leaves. Yeah, some pot leaves, a little bit of lettuce. By lettuce, I mean methamphetamine. Sprinkled with acid. That's a heart attack sandwich. And Elvis used to eat, I think they said he ate three to four a day. Oh. Because he had his little, his housekeeper. Three to four of those a day? And she'd be like, come on. Baby, come on down here. Let me make you some. Didn't he be like Elvis when he was in his. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I have to admit that peanut butter with bananas and honey. And bacon. And bacon. Sounds good. Sounds good. Maybe we make these sometime. I think we should. I almost. You've got to have a bite. I want a bite now. I want a bite now.
Let's make one sandwich between the show. If we made that sandwich and we cut it into fourths, I would say that one-fourth of it would be 12,000 calories. Easily. Put some powdered sugar on it. That's what I was just thinking. Be good. Oh, my gosh. I just got a headache. 5701949, weird food combos that you eat. M1 Anonymous. So I like to, at Subway, take the double chocolate chip cookies. Okay. Really sweet and scrumptious. And then take some vinegar chips and kind of make a little chip and double chocolate chip cookie sandwich. So the cookie serves as bread? No, the cookie is the middle. That's the filler. So what do you put? Do you actually put it in bread? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm making a sandwich with the chips and the cookie. What's the bread? What's the bread? Well, the chips are the bread. But isn't it all crumbly and like... Oh, it's so great. He eats it over a bowl. I got you. So you crush the chips onto the cookie. Well, not necessarily. I mean, you just take... I mean, imagine this with me, okay? You take two chips, okay? And then you put the cookie in between the two of them.
Right. And you kind of just hold it with your fingers. Oh, so you're making little mini sandwiches made of potato chips. They're sliders. Yeah, they're cookie sliders. Come to my house. Here's my hors d'oeuvre. Cookie sliders. Chocolate chip, salt vinegar chip sliders. I think it would be good. I do too. Sweet and sour. Sweet, sour, salty. I actually would try that. I would do. Sounds pretty foul. Thank you very much. There's not very many things I hear that... I won't give a shot to. And that's not one of them. I'd do it. M1, Alyssa, are you there? Yeah. Alicia, go ahead. Thank you. Hey, guys. I have a peanut butter and jelly favorite for you. Go ahead. It is, my daughter likes to make peanut butter and jelly, and then we cook Spam, and she puts Spam in between the peanut butter and jelly. No way. I would do it. No way. Try it. I would do it. I would try it. You wouldn't eat that? You wouldn't try it? No. What's he? I don't eat Spam. What's the matter with you? Why would I eat Spam if I didn't have to? Tastes good? Todd loves Spam. You're saying, why would I eat Spam? Unless your name is Bear Grylls. Yeah, unless it's destitute. And you're in the middle of the desert. Even Bear Grylls is like, I've eaten raw frog before. He takes it out of the can and goes... What is Spam? I've eaten so many things in my life. But I can't eat this. I can't eat it. Spam is like...
Okay. But it's in a can. It's in a can. When you open the can, there's this layer of like gelatin. That's the best. What you do is you scrape that off and you rub it on your gums. Delicious. You take the Spam out of the can and you put it on a cutting board and you cut it up. Okay. Into slices. And then you get a hot pan, put a little butter in the pan and you fry the Spam in there. Let me tell you. Hawaiians love it. They love spam. They love spam and eggs. They love their spam and eggs. Spam's not bad. What is menudo? I've heard of that before. Isn't it like entrails and stuff? That's the lining of the cow's stomach. You eat that too? Oh, yeah. Good Lord. Oh, yeah. He's like, Liz, what don't you eat? Seriously. Yeah, it's delicious. It's the lining of a cow's stomach. Amazing. And they put it in a nice red broth. There's actually, well, here's the deal. There's actually two, there's two types of manudo. Do you do red or white, Liz? I like both. White. I like the red and the canned by the grocery store. You buy it at the grocery store? See, my dad will do that, but only in emergencies. My dad will get the canned manudo and he'll doctor it up. He's like, damn it! But I like to find me a good manudo place and, you know, go to that place. Lauren O'Brien. Stop saying it with the...
accent. You have to. He's Mexican. I like the good menudo. Do you notice? I mean, that happens a lot, though. I like the menudo. That's the right way to say it. No, that's the thing, though. Mikey has to pronounce it right or else he would look dumb. Yeah, well... I'd be like Giada. I do like Giada. She talks like this, and she'll be talking about something, and she'll say, manicote. Yeah. And it's like, whoa, whoa, easy. The manicote. Yeah. She'll go, this is really delicious. You just cut up the manicote. It is. That's exactly it. So Rebecca and I last night, we went out to dinner, and she had this, and I had it. What? She had the roast beef. You do that, dude. Enchilada. Enchilada. Enchilada. Do you say it the right way? I do. You have to say it like that, though, because that's the proper pronunciation. 570-1. Oh, this is hideous. This next one is hideous. So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to make you wait. I'm going to make you wait for the hideousness. And when we come back, I'm going to talk to M1 Jeremira.
Oh, that's filthy. Oh, wait a minute. No, Dockside's filthier than that. Dockside, M1 Dockside, is even filthier than the other one. They're both bad. Guilty and ass. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. We begin in a world of consumer banking needs, but travel to another dimension, a dimension of secure, fast and easy ways to make deposits through ATMs of no longer having to fill out deposit slips or use envelopes. You've just crossed over into the chase zone. Did you just put that check directly into the ATM? Yep. No deposit slips, no envelopes? No need. Whoa, you just stuck a bunch of 20s in there. What is wrong with you? Me? I'm not the one feeding the ATM like a hungry Sasquatch. Sasquatch? Really? I don't know.
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Mamatesta Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can beat Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? So what this report is brought to you by Advanced Auto Parts. Don't let a bad battery ruin your day. At Advanced Auto Parts, they offer free testing and an installation for most cars with a battery purchase. Advanced Auto Parts will help you keep the wheels turning. On the 5 northbound ramp to Lucadia Boulevard, an overturned tractor trailer. It's a semi in the number three lane. Apparently, the wheel came off of the semi. A big rig tow truck's on the way to try and lift this guy up. 67 at Willow Road, an accident there earlier. They have cleared that. And in Lakeside on the 8 westbound at Las Coches Road, accident on. the left shoulder. They're waiting for tow trucks right now. A car still stuck in the center divider as well. This report brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. Take advantage of unbeatable savings on the tires and automotive service you need during the spring sales event. It's going on right now at Firestone Complete Auto Care. Call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the location nearest to you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9.
Chino sings, I feel it in my bones. I'm downloading this song right now. What is it? Menudo? Minerva. So Menudo by Medepton. No, that's a soup. Mexican soup. It's also a band. A boy band. It is. Mikey was a big fan of back in the day. You monster. I thought all Latinos loved Menudo. Is that right? No, they like the soup. We like the soup, not the band. That's a jam, dude. M-I-N-E-R-V-E-N-U-D-O. Okay. Mama Testa is good food. Oh, my goodness. That was so good. In just a minute, Lauren O'Brien is going to step aside so that her boyfriend, Matt, can play some music. Hey, Lauren, why don't you say your congrats? My congrats? Yeah.
To my brother Keith and his wife Kim. Yeah. They just had their baby girl Lily. So cool. Lily Catherine. Woo! This morning. Auntie Lauren. Auntie Lauren. She came on time on her due date. Really? Exactly. At 517 this morning Eastern Time. That's cool. That's awesome, dude. I just want to say congrats to them. How's it feel being Auntie? It feels great. I bet you can't wait to meet the kid. I can't wait. I know. It's pretty cool. Okay. So I'm going to get these. Hideous food combo people on. This is gross. Are you there, M1 Jeremira? Jeremiah. Jeremiah. But I'm here. Jay kills me with those names. This is M1 Mashuikana. It's actually Michael is my name. Thank you. Is this M1 Halota? No, it's actually Helen. Oh, hi, Helen. Go ahead, Jeremiah. Yeah, it's Oreo cookies and guacamole dip. Oh, dude. No. Oh, yeah. No. That's hideous. Have you ever had the Oreo cookies with peanut butter? Because that's like you dip it in peanut butter. Well, yeah. That'd be rad. Yeah, that'd be delicious. Chocolate and peanut butter. Delicious. That'd be delicious. That too, you can take the peanut butter and you melt it in the microwave and dip it in that and it just kind of coats the cookie and it's kind of like the Reese's Pieces like, you know, but Oreo. But the guac? No. No guac.
You know, in other countries, they use avocados for dessert. We don't hear. It's foul. We don't hear, but they do in other countries. Yeah, well, with the Oreo cookie, what you do is you break it apart like you used to do when you were a kid, you know, and you take the guacamole and you spread it through like a sandwich. It's kind of like an Oreo cookie with guacamole in the middle of it. Or if you just want to eat on the run, then you just dip in the cookie and split. Oh, wow. Do you want to get the runs? Is that what you said? Yeah, seriously. Exactly. The old number three. M1 Dockside. Dockside. Are you there? Dockside? Yes. What is your weird food combo? Well, that's my sister. And she's about as basic as it gets. But about a year ago, I caught her eating her cereal and injecting little squirts of ketchup in it. No way. No way. That's made up. That's made up. What are you doing? I just took a sip of red Gatorade. It was too much. Are you lying to my face or are you telling me the truth? I think he's lying. Are you lying to my face, Dockside? I would not lie about that. It's my sister, man. This is Hannibal Lecter. Tell me the truth or I don't know. Really? You can't make something like that up. Catch up on cereal. That's foul. What kind of cereal do you know? You know what kind of cereal? What? Pops.
Like sugar pops? No, just pops. What the hell are pops? You guys know what pops are? No. That's why we've asked eight times now. Wait, what do you guys, what do you mean? Are you trying to say that you don't know what pops are? Wait, say this again slower. Is that like, I don't know what pops are. Puffed corn. Puffed corn with sugar glazed on it. Yeah, they have a sugar glaze. Yeah, sugar smacks is what they're talking about. No, no, no, no, no. They dropped the sugar part because it doesn't sell. Smacks wouldn't sell if they put sugar on there. So they just call it pops now. I buy pops all the time. Really? Are they like the ghetto brand? No. No, I'm going to find a picture to show you so you guys know what we're talking about. Corn pops. When we were kids, they called them sugar pops. But now they've dropped the sugar because they want to fool you. So it's like still the same thing, but it's just pops. Still all the bad stuff for you, but a much nicer name. So, okay, this would be a good topic. Somebody just texted this in because we were talking about the I love yous that came early, you know, because Woodsy and I foolishly let our guards down and admitted that we're early I love youers. And then we were viciously attacked by two women in the studio.
No wonder who. Yeah, one of them jumped on our back while the other one grabbed our throat, brought us to the ground so that the other one could tear us apart. But we got a text that said, you guys should someday do calls on the most awkward and creepy I love you's that someone has got. We should. Because you know that there is going to be an awkward and creepy one. I have a really great awkward and creepy, and this girl loved it. I was 15 years old. Oh, gosh. I would have done anything to know Mikey. Mikey is viciously typing away right now. I don't know why. I would have done anything to know Mikey at 15. Oh, my gosh. Anything. Actually, 15 was not a bad time for me. There was much worse times. Just out tagging cars and stuff? Yes. I was just out tagging cars and stuff. I don't even know what that means. You got to tell her what tagging is. Like spray painting. Yes. Spray painting. Like writing.
Like riding little boots on everybody's car. You know what I mean? Riding menudo. Menudo. Okay, I'm going to play you this song. He would have tagged I love you on everyone's car. I love you. So first of all, this is a true story. I don't know that I've ever admitted this on the radio. It's humiliating. I'm ready for it. It's that kind of day. I was 15 years old. I was at Melanie Kosher's house. We were sitting on our couch, and I made sure that... Just the two of you? Yes, just the two of us. I'm trying to get the visual. Oh, this is... Just keep things in context. Was there any Frenching? Shut up! Yes, absolute Frenching with that response. I made sure that this song was playing. Are you ready? I love it so much. Peter Cetera, Amy Grant.
The next time I fall in love. Oh, my gosh. This is a good song. It's a great song, dude. See, I almost threw up. Next time I fall. Yes. Yes. It'll earn. It'll earn. I can't even say it out loud. I have to write what I did. Now, wait. I'm too embarrassed to say it out loud. I'll read it. I'll read it. So, Mike, you rewound the tape just to this point of the song? No, I didn't. Did you bring your boombox over and have it, like, queued up? No. I had it on a cassette tape. I had it on a cassette tape because I taped it off 102.5K on. 102.5K on. I taped it off 102.5K on. And I had it on tape. And I had to cue it up, you know, cue the cassette up to that point, take the tape out with my finger, put it in the cassette tape, and wind it back a couple. Oh, my gosh. So that it was perfectly cued up, okay? Wow. Went over to her house. Opened up her cassette player, put it in. We sat on the couch. Oh, gosh. I love this so much already. I love it. And I don't even know what you've done yet. He did the reach around. Nope. No, I did not. No, I did not. Hong Kong. Give it to me. Write it. I'll read it. Yes. I'll write it. I'll read it. I'm skeeved. You want to whisper it to me? Yes. Did you say, do you want to get crazy? Yeah. Nothing was worse than that. They're whispering. Right now, Mikey is whispering in Woods' ear.
And Vince has a reaction like it was the worst thing he's ever heard. Oh, my God. Did you just get, like, the weird chills? Say it. I've got the pee chills right now. No one knows what's happening. I was 15. So he's sitting next to Melanie Kosher. Yeah. Wow. On the couch. Yeah, I have a thing for women's names. He's sitting next to her on the couch, and they're listening to Peter Cetarian share next time I fall in love. He takes her hand, and with his index finger, with his short, tiny little index finger. I know what he's going to do. And he spells in the palm of her hand, I love you. I can't even believe it. He fits perfectly under the desk. Let me just tell you what happened. I can't even believe it. He was held at his hand and demonstrated, and Mikey, like a two-year-old puppy, just crawled underneath the desk. We can't see him. I can see the top of his shiny head. I don't want to look at either of you women. That's like out of a movie. Your face is the color of menudo. Oh, yeah. Menudo. Menudo. Oh, wow. I love you. I don't think... Oh, God. That's so gross. Wait, she was like, what are you doing? Are you trying to spell something? What are you, Helen Keller? What are you doing, dude? Well, that's how she learned to read and write. Dude, she's like...
Is that like Morse code? Like, what are you trying to do on my hand? Like, what kind of message is that that you're trying to do? Say it, Mike. Say it. Mike, say it. You can say it. I can't. I can't get these messages you're trying to send me. I don't know what you're writing on my hand. Did she know? Did she know what? What she said. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because I spelled it with my finger. And? It's like E.T. What did she say? What did she say? The answer's so gross. So she... She licked her hand. No, no, no, no. She stuck her hand in her mouth. She started French-ing her hand. No. She... Oh, it's so gross. She mouthed it back. What is... Elephant juice? No. She mouthed back. I love you, too. Oh, that's the filthiest memory. That's the filthiest memory. Go take a shower. I'm sweating. I'm sweating. I'm a creep. You are Jame Gum from Silence of the Lambs. That's what you are. With a cast on your head. I love you. I love you. I'm worse. You're worse. Like, Jame Gum's like, dude, you are so weird. Okay, so you wrote on a girl's hand that you love them. You texted Rebecca that you love her. Shut it. Shut it. Did you ever actually tell a woman that you love them to their face? Yeah, right?
Oh, no. I'm sweating for you, dude. I left a voicemail. I sent an email. I made up a banner. What else did you do? Hey, Mark, this is Dream Gum, and I just want to say, like, I wear people's skin as a hat, and you're gross. You skeeve me out, and I wear people's skin as a hat. Like, I make lampshades out of people's, like, faces. And you're weird. Like, you're real weird. I have sympathy pain for you right now. I heard next time I fall in love by Pierce Tara, and I was like, I got the weird chills. I was like, oh, my gosh, he's weird. Dude. You had this all planned out, that you were going to do the hand bit, too. Yeah, dude. I requested. I called Kate on. Done it. Done it and recorded it. And recorded it. And sent it. I've done a live dedication on the radio. This one goes out to Kim from Steve. Wow. And recorded that and given it to her on a tape. That's the worst thing I've ever heard. You know what? You know what? These two miserable women are not telling us stories that they have in their head. You know they've got embarrassing things that they've done. They've done stuff that's embarrassing. Oh, I wish they would tell us.
Well, I mean, like, with Ta, I could tell you one. It wasn't that embarrassing, though. No. There's got to be stuff that you've done to humiliate yourself. Mikey, I've had an accident in my pants, and I'm not as embarrassed about that as I would be if I told that story. Okay? Seriously. That's the most embarrassing story I've ever heard. I did one. Did you? Oh, yes. Yes. Yep. What? What? This is before Star 69. Yeah. I had a crush on this boy in middle school. And I think it's a cheap trick song, the I Want You to Want Me. Oh, I thought you were going to say the flame. Yeah, me too. Nope. I called his house and he picked up the phone and I put the song up to the speaker. Yeah, done it. But he didn't. Done it. I've done it. I want you to want me. And it's like, and he's like.
Can you put it closer? Is that live at Budokan? What is that? Is that live at Budokan? Because I can't really tell. What if it was like his mom that answered the phone? No, I listened. I was like listening and I was like, okay. This is Mike. Yeah. What the hell? She's 13, so it's like, hello? Hello? Is anybody there? Is that him? Mom? Hey, Mom? Hey, Mom. My pervert's playing a soccer game. There's a pervert playing a song about me. Amazing. Mom, is there a way for us to call the police? Now we have this on the phone, Mom. Still, that is a one.
To the 1,000th of embarrassment level. Like I said, dude. Nothing is that grody. I went number three. It's not. On a college campus on accident. And I'm not as embarrassed as I would be if I was him. I'm not. Yep. It's true. Oh, wow. All right. That's a big layer of the onion that just got peeled back today, dude. That explains so much. Amazing. That's one of the greatest. You know what's funny is she probably tells that story too. She's like, you want to know what this creep one time is? Like somebody, like if it ever comes up and it's like an overnight party with a bunch of wine with a bunch of girls and they're like, what's the grossest thing a guy's ever done that skeeved you out? And she's like, this one time, this guy played Pierce and Sarah and Amy Grant. And wrote, I love you with a Zinnis finger on my palm of my hand. What's yours? I don't, I'm really like, because I'm an embarrassing, I get embarrassed a lot. And I can't think, I feel like you guys have all of these embarrassing stories. Dude, just being a guy and having to court women.
It's the most uncomfortable. Just your head. You don't know what's going on. It makes you do the craziest stuff. You have no idea. Like, is she going to like this or is she going to think I'm an absolute creepy Silence of the Lambs lunatic? Right. And I think that the easiest thing to do is to overdo it. Yeah, for sure. Every guy overdoes it because he's like, well, I have to let her know, you know, like how much I love her. So I think I'll write it on the palm of her hand with my index finger while playing Peter Cetera and Amy Grant on a cassette tape. Unbelievable. When Todd and I first said, I love you, I was the one that was going to say it first. Yeah. And for days, I was like, I need to say it. Like, I can't hold it in any longer. I can't. I need to say it. So I'd be like, Todd. And he'd be like, yeah. And I'd be like, and nothing would come out. And this happened for like days. I kept saying, so, babe. Do you want a sandwich? And I would just say something else. But that's what I'm saying. I don't think he ever knew. I just picture your love story with Todd being so silver screen-ish. It's not an index finger to the palm of the hand. No, but when it finally happened, it was me again. I'm like, I'm just going to say it. You said it first? No. So I started. I'm like, okay, babe, I'm starting to tell you. And he's like, and then he stopped me. Yeah. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. And then he said... What did he say, Woods? He said it! Wow. And I didn't have to say it! Because he knew you were going to say it? Because he knew. I've been stumbling for days. They were laying on a beach and the waves were crashing over their bodies. Shh. Shh. Shh. Sienna. Don't shh. Shh. Don't shh. He put his index finger over her lips. Shh. Baby. No. It was sad. But he kind of missed and he goes, babe. Up my nose. Yeah. It sounds just like a classic love story. It's like Catherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart. Yeah, it really is. I was a fumbling idiot for days. And I thought he had no idea what I was trying to say. And finally, he figured it out and saved me. It was very cute. It is. I just ripped this napkin 27 times telling that story. She's made a...
And a rose out of her napkin doing origami over here. You're doing origami. I can't believe that made you nervous. Yeah. Well, I didn't write I love you in the palm of someone's hand. That's humiliating. I couldn't think of something better than that. Yeah, Helen Keller style. Yeah. Very good. I did. I'm going to pull my Helen Keller move out tonight. Yeah. When you see your wife tonight, I want you to write I love you with your index finger on her hand. I will. She'll call the police. Let's see. This is M1 Shannon. Shannon, are you there? Shannon. Yes. Go ahead. You're on the radio. My husband admitted to me what he did embarrassing to a girl on the phone. He sang A Whole New World to a girl on the phone. What is that? What is A Whole New World? Aladdin. Aladdin, bro. I don't watch cartoons, dude. Now you got a piece. I don't watch cartoons. You know that. Oh, yeah. I have four Yorkshire Terriers and a purse. I don't have the purse, pal. That's you. We saw your dog jumping in and out of a purse. It's a bag. It's a dog carrying bag. It's Chanel. It's a purse. Here it is. Wow. He sang the whole song, dude. Sweating bullets. Now, what did he do when they got to the magic carpet ride part?
That is a beautiful song. He had to do the falsetto. I thought Aladdin was hot. He called her. Yeah, me too. He was. You guys also think Edward from Twilight actually exists. He's going to come for me. I know he is. We're destined to be together. He won't protect me. Lady, lady, lady. There's no such thing as freaking vampires, okay? They don't exist, all right? He's going to come sweep you off your feet. So great. They don't. That is a whole other, that's a whole new world of rocks. That's a whole new world. To call a girl up and be like. The pitch pipe? Yeah. Imagine it. You do the pitch pipe. Bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee. Yeah. Lemon face, lion face. Lemon face, lion face. Tip of the tongue, teeth and lips. Tip of the tongue, teeth and lips. And she goes, hello? And he goes, I can show you. What is she? His sister, his creepy sister's holding the phone. I can show you the world. Shimmering, blah, blah, blah, blah. Think about his last words of the song. He's like, done. Yeah, and scene, right?
Hang up. She's not even there. He's like, oh, dude, I'm dead. So creepy. I hope he did that on the last day of school. Senior year, dude. Senior year? Yeah, right before he went off to college. Yeah, right before he moved to Mars for his first semester. Dude. So creepy. When we come back, Matt is going to perform. Matt is Lauren's boyfriend. He's performing tomorrow night at the Belly Up. He's going to perform in studio for us next. Don't go away. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Craig and O'Reilly. Looking for quality auto parts for your vehicle? Shop Craig and O'Reilly Auto Parts. You'll find we have convenient locations, thousands of brand-name parts in stock, extended store hours, everyday low prices, and well-trained professional parts people to help you keep your vehicle running right. We think you'll agree that Cragen O'Reilly is the auto parts store with a whole lot more. Come see for yourself at your neighborhood Cragen O'Reilly auto parts store. Hurry into your local Cragen O'Reilly auto parts store where you'll find all trade and power built brand tools at 50% off the regular price. Screwdrivers, socket sets, jack stands, creepers, and more. Now 50% off at Cragen O'Reilly auto parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR.
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Matt. Matt Commerce. That's right, Matt Commerce. And Matt, you're playing tomorrow night at the Belly Up, right? Yep, that's right. And you're actually going to be opening for somebody? What's going on? Who's playing there tomorrow night? Well, the band we're opening for is called the Pine Mountain Logs. Right. And they used to be called Venice. Right. And they're a big band with a huge following here. And there's actually... Their show might sell out. We're not sure. But it's going to be a big night. There'll be a lot of people out. That's cool. And for me, I'm excited because it's a full band show. That's cool. A lot of times I play solo acoustic around town or I play in a duo with my sister Jasmine, which is real kind of mellow type of stuff. But this is like full on rock and roll. Dude, I heard your sister stuff. Your sister stuff is on iTunes. Yeah. I listened to it. I was like, she's... good she has an amazing voice oh yeah she's really good and you guys are both really talented and you'll play sometimes you guys will actually she'll sing you'll play that kind of stuff yeah yeah we mix it up um yeah she's incredible like you know just not even from a brother but i listen to a lot of music all the time and her voice it's awesome yeah it's it's right up there so anyway it could start or end wars yes
You want to give her a mention? So if people want to download any of her music, they can. Yeah, her name is Jasmine Commerce. Yeah. And she just won a big national songwriting competition for Nine West Shoes. And they flew us out to New York. We got to record with Sony Records, a guy, Mike Mangini, who was the same guy who produced Who Let the Dogs Out. Really? Really? That's funny. Yeah, yeah. The Grammy sitting there on his desk. So it was a really cool experience to, you know, be there in New York. I don't know. I was playing this garbage guitar because I play electric when I play with her. Right. So I'm working on right now with Taylor Guitars getting an endorsement deal. I'm actually going down there this afternoon to check out. Really nice. Yeah. It doesn't get any better, man. That's what I play here in the studio. It's the sickest, sickest guitar. The Taylor T5 is like my dream guitar. It's everybody's. It's perfect. Halfway between acoustic and electric. You can make it sound like anything. It's perfection. Yeah, and I've always heard that, man. Because, you know, I have an acoustic guitar, and my friend Russ was teaching me how to play. And that's one of the things that we talked about is, you know, when I picked it up enough to really know kind of what I was doing, he's like, dude, you got to get one. Yeah. They're sick. Yeah, they are.
Are they a San Diego? They're a San Diego company. Yeah, right over there in like the Santee area. That's awesome. Grab me one. Yeah, I'll pick up a few. Get a couple if you don't mind. So what are you going to play for us, Matt? Well, I was thinking about a song that I wrote called Caught Being Creepy. All right. Which is kind of like. It kind of fits in with the show. Yeah, with me and Mikey. Yeah, definitely. Learn to strangle me with these headphones. We wrapped them around my neck three times. She's being a very attentive girlfriend and making sure you can hear properly. There you go. No, that was cool. I appreciate that. Yeah, you're doing much better. There you go. Sometimes I'll write more with a country style to it. This one is being played right now down in Mobile on Prescott and Booger. Prescott and Booger playing it? Yeah, they're good. They're running this thing pretty regularly down there. I haven't heard this song, so I don't know if it's any good. Hoyle, I'm sure you've heard it. I haven't heard it. I haven't approved it. It's been nice not hearing from you much today. Is it Hoyle's like, what are my top five? Don't look at the camera, y'all. Go ahead. All right. So here's caught being creepy for y'all. I had a crush on my science teacher back in seventh grade. She was the finest woman I'd ever seen.
Made it hard to concentrate. One day she wore this low cut dress. And she was helping me work on my test. But my eyes were checking her out instead. When I looked up, she was shaking her head. Well, I got caught being creepy. Thought no one would see me. Oh, what a feeling inside. So awkward all of a sudden. I want to start running, but there's really no place I can hide. I guess I'm a little creepy. Now I was working at the summer camp, playing kickball with all the kids. It must have been about 100 degrees, sweat dripping down my skin. I had an itch, I had to scratch, but it was right. Below my back, I took my chance, thought I was home free. And then I heard them all just laughing at me. I got caught being creepy, thought no one would see me. Oh, what a feeling inside. So awkward all of a sudden, I want to start running, but there's really no place I can hide. I guess I'm just a little creepy.
Oh, now everyone's a little creepy sometimes Don't even try to tell me you're not Yeah, but I just can't seem to figure out why I always find a way to get caught Like just the other day at the grocery store Standing in the checkout line Pretty little lady in front of me Oh, I was wishing she was mine Leaned in to talk, but I got scared So I just paused for a second there And then she whipped her head around and said Excuse me, did you just sniff my hair? I got caught being creepy Thought no one would see me Oh, what a feeling inside So awkward, all of a sudden I want to start running But there's really no place I can hide
I guess I'm just a little creepy. That's great. That's great. That is awesome. That was so good. Thanks. That was so great. I'm hoping that you can do the James Gumm version. Absolutely. I'm just a little creepy. You had like the perfect amount of like laughter that you added when you were singing too. It was cute. I loved it. Yeah, I don't usually laugh that much. It started out like an acoustic hot for teacher. Yeah. You know what I mean? I love it. I love it. Which is one of my favorite tunes. It's good. She was good. Yeah, seventh grade. Oh, I bet. Wow, you still remember her name. She was a beast. Lauren's like, stop it. It's great. Matthew, we'll discuss this when we get home. Yeah. Okay. Just wait in the car. See you when we get home. That's hilarious. So Matt's playing tomorrow night at the Belly Up. What time does the show start? Doors open at 8 and I'm going on at 9. Sweet. Yeah. So it's about an hour show for me. And then the Pine Mountain Logs start at 10. And they're an amazing cover band. They do.
I mean, they sound exactly like whoever they're trying to cover, and they just mix it up in a really high-energy night. That's so bummed, dude, that I'm going to miss it. So bummed. Okay, so I got some stuff. We got some stuff to do for you. Did you know that Bill Clinton had heart surgery, right? Right. Bill Clinton had some stuff. So I don't know if this is a true story, but this is, I mean, I don't think he's joking, but I want to play this for you, and you tell me if you think that this is true. What he's throwing down here. It's weird. I didn't have any anesthesia or any sedatives. I just had this stint put in and they examined me, found out what was wrong. And I asked if I could watch it on the screen and they were fixing me. So I think that I was able to make a quicker comeback because I didn't. Speaking of caught being creepy. He said. That he didn't have any sedatives or anesthesia. That's impossible. Is it not? I don't know. Did he get a stent put in? You would think that that would be impossible. But why would he say it if it wasn't true? Well, I was drunk. Well, yeah, maybe I was trying to make a joke. Okay, so I'm not a comedian. Sorry. I thought it would be funny, but nobody laughed, so. But it's also Bill Clinton that you would think they'd be like, no, sir, you're going to need, it's going to hurt, you know. Yeah.
Well, I want to watch. Is it possible to do that without? I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, they do the snippet without anesthesia. Not mine. I don't get my teeth cleaned without them putting me on. No kidding. I'm like, can you please just put the mask on? Give me the gas. I want to wake up in 12 hours after my teeth have been cleaned. Absolutely. We were talking about it earlier. We have three kids. We're not going to have any more. I was talking to three guys that have all had the snip. And all three of them said, if anybody tells you it doesn't hurt, they're not telling you the truth. It hurts. And I said, how bad? He goes, one of them goes, my eyes filled up with tears. And I was embarrassed. Which means you'd cry. Yeah, which means... Do you have a high pain tolerance? No. I'm a wimp. Really? Yeah. I'm a wimp. Then it would hurt you. Oh, man. He said that they had this new... Like painless device. Wireless. Yeah. That's the way we here at Marple have come up with a new way to perform a vasectomy. How do you do it? Well, we got together and we were talking about what's the problem with vasectomies. They hurt, I think, is one of them. The problem is that they hurt. And so this is our senior analyst for Marple Design. What we did was as we were looking and studying the human body and the anatomy.
We decided that the best way to approach the vast efferents would be wireless. It's probably a good idea. So what we did was we created this device that, as you can see, is two round cylindrical. It's a cylindrical iPod. Looks like two giant marbles next to each other. And it will actually play music and shuffle it. It's called the vasectomy. It's called the eye vasectomy. The eye vasectomy. Okay, I must have been reading it in the mirror. Yeah, the eye vasectomy. Yeah, you were reading it in the mirror. Yeah, I was. The eye vas, for sure. The eye vas. Yes, the eye vas. You can watch movies in full resolution. Blu-ray. Blu-ray. You can also make phone calls, listen to your iPod. Read a book. Read a book and get a vasectomy. I'm all the way in on that, dude. Wirelessly. That's all? That's how you do it? How much is it going for? Well, if you want the 32 megabyte one, it will be $349. Oh, that's not bad. If you want the 64 megabyte, it will be $500. It's not bad. Not for a vasectomy, no. No, it's not. A wireless vasectomy. Wireless vasectomy. That was the way that we thought to do it. It's always a good... Anytime you can do anything wirelessly... It's always going to work. It's always going to work. Let's see. What else is going on?
Oh, Sienna has a list of the best peanut butters. I have a preference. Now, the reason I have this list is because I knew you would have a preference, Michael Esparza. Most people would just eat peanut butter, but no, not you. Jiffy, number one, right? Well, now are we talking best crunchy? Are we talking best creamy? Oh, they have it all broken into that. Best natural crunchy? There's no such thing. Lauren? Yeah. Do you like crunchy or creamy? That's natural crunchy. Yeah, that would be... Actually, it's not peanut butter. It's hominy butter. Actually, I only have almond butter. Almond butter. She has almond and sunflower seed butter. Yeah, flax oil butter. Flax seed butter. All right, we'll tell you. Take a time out.
More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Morning, Sal. Looks like they gave me some of your mail by mistake. Uh-huh. Then you must have my missing lottery check. Nah, I'm keeping that. But here's the rest. Oh, wait, look. Another home loan offer. What you think? Indiana or Idaho? Where's it from? Not sure, but when I refinanced my home loan, I went closer to home. Really? Where? San Diego County Credit Union. San Diego County Credit Union handles home loans? Sure. Home loans, equity loans, refinancing, the whole enchilada. And they have a branch about a mile from here. Yeah, they're close, but... How about their rates? Really competitive. And San Diego County Credit Union's been around for over 70 years. So they aren't going anywhere, huh? Unlike me. I'm taking my kids to the park. Hey, let me know if my lottery check turns up. A great home loan is closer than you think. Just visit one of our convenient San Diego County Credit Union locations. Call 877-SDCCU for you. Or visit SDCCU.com. San Diego County Credit Union. Equal housing lender. Federally insured by NCUA. Verizon is the best destination for great family value. And that's good to know.
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When she walked on stage and started singing, I literally teared up. Really? Yeah. Weird. Well done. That was nice. I love Fleetwood Mac. You just went from, like, here, which is pretty high in my book, to, like, here. Oh, you like Fleetwood Mac? Oh, I love Fleetwood Mac. Me too, dude. I love Fleetwood Mac. Lindsay Buckingham is, like, the greatest guitar player to me. Dude. Fleetwood Mac. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like a car. Have you seen the dance? Yeah, dude. It's the greatest. And all the weirdness between them. Between them. And when they start singing Silver Springs to each other and they're looking at each other, the skin on the back of my neck or the hair on the back of my neck stands up. Yeah. Because you know what the deal is. They had a long love affair and she cheated on him and he cheated on her. But the guy in the band. With Mick Fleetwood, the drummer. And he looks like, or wait, maybe not him. Maybe it's the guitar player. He looks like the guy from Superman.
Looks like Christopher Reeve? No, no, the guy from Kryptonite. Lex Luthor? No, with the beard. Your joke just lost all the wheels. The wheels have just come off. Gosh, I blew it. I love them, though. I do, too, so much. Let's see. Download some. That's right. I thought you guys would be like, totally. That's the worst feeling. Everyone's like, huh? Crickets, crickets, crickets, crickets. 570. 1-94-9. Beginning and end of every show, we do open phones. So you can call us about anything you want to. Really quick, let me tell you the best peanut butter. Oh, yeah, yeah. Best creamy, skippy, creamy peanut butter. Best crunchy. Mike, you're a crunchy fan? Yeah. That's the Jeff. Extra crunchy peanut butter. And for Lauren, best natural, crunchy, Smucker's Organic. Yeah. Best natural, creamy, co-easy. Co-easy? Co-easy. Co-easy cream cut natural peanut butter. Really? Lauren. I know. There you go. It's your peanut butters. Oh, man. Sounds great. It was a good week of shows, guys. Yeah, it was. Good stuff. What number show is it today, Woods? Today would be 25. 25? Yep. You got to remember because I'm telling you, man. We are at the end of our fifth week together on the air. Are we really? Yep.
That's pretty cool. Look forward to getting out and meeting you guys soon. And we're going to. We are. Wheels are in motion. We're going to be doing some meet and greet stuff, and it's going to be really cool. I can't wait, man. I can't wait to meet all the people in person that I literally talk to every day on my Facebook, man. Oh, one of our M1s, Swan. She's one of our biggest supporters and always has our back. Today is her birthday. Oh, really? Happy birthday, dear Swan. That's cool. She's no longer an ugly duckling. That's right. That's right. Swan is awesome. She is. Mikey, she has, it's like she has a, it's like she'll get in a gang fight over the Mikey show. She loves us. I love you, Swan. She's awesome. Happy birthday. Thanks for having our back. Let's see. A gang fight. Seriously. She's in there with chains and tire irons. Whipping butt. The beat it video. That's right. 570-1949 is the number. And you can give us a call at the beginning and end of every show. You can also feel free to text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. A couple of stories that I wanted to get to you.
Before we go, oh, first of all, new movies that are coming out this weekend. Sienna, what do we got? Well, there's a big one. Don't say that, Woods. Oh, man. I mean, you're going to put it on a tee for me. I'm going to hit it out of the park. And the big one this weekend is Alice in Wonderland coming out. Johnny Depp and Hathaway. Who else is in that movie? It doesn't matter. It's going to be awesome. It is going to be awesome. Why are you snoring, Woods? Why are you snoring? Jay, are you going to go see it this weekend? Possibly, but if not, I'm hoping Lauren picks it for next week. I think that looks pretty optimistic. Which one? Alice in Wonderland. Really? That's the best we can do? Mikey, is that going to scare you? No. It has the Cheshire Cat. I don't like that cat. Also out in theaters today, Brooklyn's Finest. That looks good. And The Secret of Kells. Let's see it. What is that? Kells? Yeah, Kells. I said it right. You did. My brother's in here to back her up. My brother's like, you got it. Don't even worry about it. What's it about? I haven't heard of it. I don't know. Taylor, what's it about? I don't know. All I know is it's nominated for Academy Award for Best Animated Feature. Oh, it's animated. It's nominated for an Academy Award, which, by the way, the Academy Awards are on Sunday night. Can't wait. That's cool. What's Best Picture? Best Picture, Avatar, The Blind Side, The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Bastards, District 9, Precious, A Serious Man, Up,
which is a very big deal, up in the air, and an educator. I'm going to go with Inglourious Bastards. Yeah. Do you really think that? No, but that's the only one I've seen. That's the only one I've seen. That's what I'm going to go with. Precious. Man, the Hurt Locker? That movie's phenomenal. Have you seen it? Is it a war movie? Yes. There's all kinds of drama going on with the Hurt Locker. Apparently, one of the producers was sending in emails, bad emails, to the Academy Awards. He's not allowed to go. He's not allowed to go anymore. So if he wins, they're going to save his Oscar for him and, like, send it in the mail. Well, I heard some of the actual soldiers were saying that it's making it look more like they're, like, you know, glorifying, you know, and I don't know what the exact word is. Like killing? Yeah, but it seems like they're more on, like, a crusade and, like, you know, it just kind of makes it seem more like a... I don't know. Less defensing, more like, let's charge this guy. The lead guy in the movie was 100% into it. I mean, he lived it. He didn't want to go home, didn't want to do anything else. All he wanted to do was, you know, defuse bombs. And it was just like, it was crazy. In real, like after the movie was done or like during the movie? In the movie. It's the 82nd Annual Academy Awards. And in case you don't know, the hosts are Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin. There you go.
Cool. And the last movie that comes out today, Stolen. I'm not sure if I said that. There you go. Mikey Show, who's this? Hey, it's P1M1, Santa Maria. What's going on, dude? Hey, just want to tell you about something pretty gross that you guys might find pretty random. Wait, some what? All right, so I take a good tequila, like some Corlejo or some Don Julio Patron. Thought of it going. I take some Tapatio or preferably Cholula. Yeah. Put like four or five glasses in there. It sits like at all. Like a shot? You're making a shot out of this shot? He's talking about the food combinations. Yeah, the weird food combinations. Yeah. And you'll hit it as a shot, right? Yeah. So if you pour the tequila first, then the hot sauce, it sits down at the bottom. So it doesn't all mix in. It's perfect. You get all the hot sauce right at the end.
My mouth is watering. Would you do that, Santa? Oh, of course I would do that. Really? Tequila with hot sauce. Get a little lime in there. Hello. There's a shot. It's called a cement mixer. Yeah. If you take it, it's a shot of Bailey's and a half a shot of lime juice. And you take one and then you take the other and you mix it around your mouth. It'll actually curdle in your mouth. I've had it. It's foul. Mikey, it curdles. That's so gross. It's a cement mixer. It's foul. It really does. It's a cement mixer. You have to go. You have to like. Chew it. Does it make it gross? Yes. It's foul. Well, I mean, I know texturally gross. Would you like to do a shot of cottage cheese? Yeah. That's what it tastes like. That's filthy. Chunky. So foul. That is filthy. Well, hey, give yourselves a big round of applause. Got a live studio audience in here today. And it was very, very cool. We got to get out of here. And Woodsy's going home. He's going to see his wife tonight. He's going to fly back to Dallas and see his wife. Yep. And tonight, Sienna's going on her honeymoon. I know. Pretty cool. On my way to the airport in a couple minutes. Oh, God. I don't know. That's right. End of the show on Friday, I give you my testimony. I tell you my story. And the reason that I do is because there may be people that are listening that can relate to a part of my story. I, like a lot of people that are listening.
When I was a kid, I was a victim of sexual abuse and happened when I was five years old. I've said this before that it's so tough, man, because I have a three year old and I just can't even I can't even imagine, you know, a lot of pain in thinking of that. Now, when I think about it from my own perspective, I just five years old, you can't wrap your head around that. I didn't. I didn't. But when I was a little bit older, when I say older, I mean like 10, 11, 12, I never felt like I fit in. I always felt different, and I always felt like an outsider. My general feeling was that nobody could understand the way that I felt inside, that I was just different. I believe that anger is hurt, sadness, and fear.
I had a lot of those feelings. When I got into my 20s, I definitely was feeling a lot of hurt and sadness and fear. When I was in my late 20s, I was drinking a lot. And I was doing whatever I could to kind of numb out. And I did that for many years. By the time I was in my early 30s, I was addicted to alcohol. Felt desperation. I felt desperation. I felt hopeless. And maybe people listening right now that have an immense feeling of loneliness. As I'm speaking to you right now, you feel like I'm speaking personally because of that feeling of just immense loneliness. When I was about 33, I got to a point in my life where I couldn't run my life anymore the way that I was. And I turned the steering wheel of my life over.
Over to Jesus Christ. I cannot tell you that I have not had issues and problems since then. Because I have. Between December 17th and the time that we came on the air here were some of the hardest days of my life. Last year, on a Wednesday, my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. And the very next day, our son Jake was diagnosed with autism. And my dad was in the hospital a lot last year. And I got through every single moment of that. See, what I can tell you is that for me, God didn't promise to have everything be perfect in my life. He just promised to be there for me while I went through it. And he fills me today with a sense of hope that I can tell you about that's real. The hope that lives inside of me today is very, very real. I'm not telling anybody what they should do. All I'm doing is telling you my story.
I'm just telling you what happened in my life when I gave Jesus Christ the steering wheel to my life. He changed it. He changed everything in my life. Today I have a beautiful wife. I'm blessed beyond anything I could have possibly imagined for myself. I don't feel the same way about myself that I used to. And I have something that I never, ever, ever had years ago. I have hope. If that's something that you feel like you don't have, Man, please go to my website. It's Mikeyshow.com. M-I-K-E-Y-S-H-O-W.com. There's a section there called the help section. And if you click on that, there's a lot of resources. There's resources for addiction. There's resources for depression, eating disorders. There's resources for all that stuff and much, much more. So check that out. At the end of the show on Friday, I play a song.
And the song is something I really want you to listen to the lyrics of the song. Because you may relate to the lyrics. There may be a part of the lyrics in the song that you really relate to. I know that I have certainly been there with the lyrics of this song. Again, MikeyShow.com. Click on the help section and you can find out more information. I want you to have a great weekend. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. And we will be back on Monday morning at 6 o'clock. The Mikey Show is out. By the way, the name of the song is Pieces, and the band is called Red.