The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/08/11
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
radio comedyCharlie Sheen and warlocksparking vandalismfamily dependencedisgusting food challengeschool project confessionsgolf cart prankMontana manhuntcrime and revengemikey showtyson tunescharlie sheen
Mikey, Sienna, Woodsy, Jay, and Lauren O'Brien bounced between absurd comedy and serious argument, with Mikey's disastrous 'Tyson Tunes' performance becoming their new benchmark for a failed radio bit. Woodsy was launched from a golf cart by Jay, while the grocery-store challenge forced Sienna, Mikey, and Jay to choke down canned fish and potted meat as Woodsy enjoyed candy. Callers drove debates about vandalism, a 27-year-old named Aaron moving back in with his parents after breaking his leg, and the laziest school projects anyone had ever submitted. The show also covered Salem witches rebuking Charlie Sheen, an extraordinary Montana abduction and manhunt, and a grieving father's threat to kill his son's murderer if the man left prison early.
What happened, in order
The iPad sales pitch
M1 Meat Freak asked Mikey how to persuade his wife to buy an iPad, only for Sienna and the crew to dismantle every proposed advantage until it sounded like an unnecessary extra toy.
Salem versus Charlie Sheen
Salem witches and warlocks staged a magical intervention over Charlie Sheen's misuse of the word warlock, and the show gleefully riffed on their thick Boston accents and ceremonial warnings.
Nice park job
Woodsy admitted parking his Suburban on a line at Stater Brothers, but the crew agreed that whoever wrote 'nice park job' directly on his window with a Sharpie had crossed into vandalism.
Tyson Tunes
Mikey's Mike Tyson character tried to recite rock lyrics as poetry over Woodsy's bongos, repeatedly mangled the words, and produced what the crew later called the worst bit in the show's history.
The burglar calls 911
Timothy broke into a Portland home, took a shower, then called 911 from the bathroom because the returning homeowner and his two German shepherds frightened him.
Aaron moves home
After Aaron broke his lower leg snowboarding, the hosts and callers fiercely debated whether a 27-year-old with a walking boot was sensibly accepting help or shamelessly letting his mother baby him.
Meat pudding challenge
In the grocery-store challenge, Sienna, Mikey, and Jay faced mackerel, potted meat, and canned fish while Woodsy escaped with a Reese's cup and cheerfully watched them gag.
Last-minute science fairs
Callers confessed spectacularly lazy school projects, including a foil-wrapped self-extinguishing match, Lauren O'Brien's trash-bag exercise band, a glove on a plunger, fake bread mold, and a bug display stolen from a du
Woodsy leaves the golf cart
Jay cranked a speeding golf cart downhill and launched Woodsy onto the course, with Woodsy's still-running recorder capturing the impact, tumble, and immediate laughter.
The Montana mountain-men manhunt
Mikey retold how an aspiring Olympic runner survived abduction by a Montana father and son before a relentless sheriff finally captured them in the snow and she later won a gold medal.
A father's revenge threat
The crew wrestled with a Rhode Island father's public promise to kill the man who murdered his five-year-old son if the killer was released twelve years early.
People mentioned
MikeySiennaWoodsyJayLauren O'BrienCharlie SheenMike TysonAaronTimothy
29,560 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Yeah, yeah. What's today? Tuesday? Fat Tuesday, everybody. I just call it Tuesday. Yeah, me too. Me too. We have so much show today. Yes, we do. I don't know how we're going to be able to do everything that we have. We have so much stuff today. And your phone call is 570-1949. Or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. But there's so much in the news that we got to cover today that's like big stuff. And then there's just so much that we're doing on the show today that is just big stuff. So M1 Nation, today's a good one. And if you're an M1, that means you're a Mikey Show listener. It means that you listen exclusively to the Mikey Show. And when you call in, you turn your radio down.
You get to the point, you don't cuss. And you know what else you do? You turn new M1s onto the program. You're always creating new M1s. It's a part of being an M1 nation. I'm wearing my Chilolo t-shirt today that L.O.B. got for me. It's got the picture of the Chilolo guy on it. And this is the Chilolo guy. He's the guy that sings this very song. Most people, when they see me wear this t-shirt in public, look at me confused. They're just confused. They just don't know what that means. Why is there a picture of a man on your t-shirt and why does it say Trilolo? He's pointing and laughing. That's pointing and laughing. And that's why, because I like it. It makes me happy. Woodsy is our sports guy. He is 35 years old and lucky to be alive today because of Jay. Woodsy is lucky to be alive. True.
We will play you audio of what I'm talking about. It made me laugh out loud very hard. Now, it's probably guy humor because guys love to hear other guys get hurt. I think these girls here on this show are probably going to laugh their butts off. Sienna is probably going to make you play it over and over. Pretty awesome. Pretty awesome. Let's see. Lauren O'Brien is a stand-up comic. She's our assistant producer. She is a woman of many voices. She's also blonde and of Irish descent. She's also kind of a woman of many colors, wouldn't you say? Yeah. Yeah, she is. Definitely. For sure. Let's hear it. Thank you. More Polish than I am Irish. Are you? Actually. Did not know. I always identified with you as O'Brien being Irish, but she's more Polish. Yes.
Which means that you can make Polish jokes. I can't. You're wide open, dude. Polak. Yeah. That's awesome. I can make Mexican jokes, but you can't. I can make fat jokes. Clearly. Let's see. Sienna is our news girl. She's got her hair and a braid today, which is different. She's got long auburn hair, and it's braided today. I like it. Big, thick braid. Yeah. I have a lot of hair. What's up with the braid? I actually did it really quick while I was in here before anyone came to the studio, and I thought maybe do something different. Okay. Be different. Yeah. Jay's our producer, and he's 47 years of age, and I know more about him today than I want to. And the reason for that is because Jay had to tinkle yesterday and did it in front of Woods. No, no. I did it. No. And he came around and enjoyed the view. From your recap, Jay. From your recap. Oh, no. Where do I begin? Yesterday, Woods watched me go to the bathroom. Yep. That is from your recap. I believe, Jay. Yeah. Oh, you shouldn't. I was standing. You really shouldn't. This is Woods. Were you in the bathroom? Well, let's discuss later. We will have a debate. We'll have a debate. Dang it. You know who that doesn't happen to? Ah.
Well, you guys all go to the bathroom together anyway. It's a golf course. What's a golf course? And a golf course. It's actually a golf course. Golf. It's one giant bathroom. It is not. Our phone screener today is Alan. Alan. Alan. Alan. So call us right now, 570-1949. You can say anything you want. You can discuss anything, ask questions, just get on the radio. It's your time, M1s. I actually am feeling better than I would have anticipated because I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. But I'm feeling pretty spry and awake. You got lucky? Nope. Slept until 2 a.m. Hey. I know. Easy. Look at you, dude. Whoa. Slacker? Way sleeping in for me. I get up at 12.30. Anywhere from 12.30 a.m. to 1.30 a.m. 2 a.m. to me. I wake up and I go.
What's the matter with you? You're like, what am I, beach bum? Yeah. Am I asleep all day? Yeah. What is it, summertime and you're 16? We got spring break. Yeah. I get up and I just feel so bad. Guilt, you know, something like old Catholic guilt. And I get up, get in my shower and do my thing and came in here, but I'm feeling all right. Hour and a half later, you walk out of the bathroom. That's right. Later around. Mm-hmm. Do I hear Jay? Mm-hmm. I think it's because that microphone is open. The engineers are working on stuff this morning. Yeah. That's weird. They're buzzing all around, doing stuff here in our chambers. Let's see. So what can we talk about with Fat Tuesday? Well, the Mardi Gras parade is tonight in the gas lamp. 21 and up. It is from 6 p.m. to midnight. Yeah, LLB will roll out of there about 1 a.m. You're not kicking her out. Straight to work. I come in with a bunch of beads on. You worry about where I got them. Your beads will be gone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you get them. She'll have a lot of beads. She'll have a lot of beads. Sienna would have a lot of beads, too. Yeah, I think that's more like it. I've been to that parade quite a few times. It's a good time. Is it? Have you ever been a bead getter?
I get the beads, but I don't ever show my boobs. You've never shown your boobs? No. I feel like it's more for the small-breasted. I've been to Mardi Gras. Is that crazy? Yeah, I'm going to argue that point. It seems easier to just lift up your shirt, and they're not wearing bras and stuff. Girls with big boobs, I don't know. That's just my theory. I think it's just more for the promiscuous girls. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. More for the just drunk whores, I think, is the best one. LLB, have you ever been drunk and done it? No. I wish I had a lie detector for both of you. I've done worse, but I've done that. I've done that. No, because I would be afraid that they'd be like, put it back on. Oh. They're actually taking beats from you. Yeah. Oh, wow. Let's see. M1 Meat Freak is on the line, calling in from San Diego. What's going on, Meat Freak? Not much, guys. I'm trying to get some advice from you, Mikey, because I know you went through the similar thing recently. But I tried to talk my wife into getting the next iPad and it's not going over too well. So I'm trying to see if you have any advice on that. Well, you know, the iPad, the new iPad is better than the old iPad. And it does things for your wife that the old one wouldn't do. For instance. Give her a headache. No. You can now. Do you have kids?
No, no, no. Okay, perfect. Let's see. You're real selling this one. Boy. Well, man, if you had kids at home run. Okay, here's one of the deals. Does she have any Mac product at all? Yeah, we have a bunch of Macs. We have iPhones and the iMac, and we both have MacBook Pro. Okay, cool. Now, do you take your iPad with you anywhere? Well, I don't have the iPad. And that's the thing I was waiting for. Oh, you don't even have. Oh, perfect. You don't even have an iPad. You don't even have one. Okay. And I'm a huge, huge, huge Apple iPad. Gotcha. I mean, let me put it this way. I look at you as almost. My hero. I don't know. Legend. Pioneer. No, he looks at me as nowhere near his level, I bet. Yeah, the thing is, I am such a big Apple fan. I look at you as someone that just kind of, you know. Dabbles. You're a poser. You're like a poser. I'm a dabbler. He is like. Can't be or else he'd already have the iPad. I own the first iPhone 4 in San Diego, actually. I was the first person to buy it. Is that a true story? Wow. Can I get your autograph? Were you on the news for that? No. I walked out so quick. I was just so tired because I was awake for like 34 hours.
Okay, well, let me tell you how you talk the wifey into this one. Because I showed my wife this feature yesterday, and she fell in love with it. It's something that Apple has called FaceTime. And what FaceTime is, is it utilizes the camera on your iPad, your iPhone, or your computer. And it doesn't matter where you are. You can do the little FaceTime thing and have a chat with your wife. And see her. And she can see you. Or he could walk downstairs. Well, yeah, but this would be, you know, like if he's out and about and he's not home. And he needs to check up on him. That's right. Well, I mean, the iPhone already has that, so that's not really a good point. Oh, wow. No, he's right. The iPhone does have that. But whatever you use the iPad for, now the iPad has it. Maybe you just turn in your Apple card, Mike. All right, I got another one. I think I have another direction for you to go. What is it? It. I don't have any. I think you are proving the point of why people don't need iPads. Oh, no. I mean, people, there's a use, a good use for iPads. Toilets. No. There's a great use. And also, I've been saving up money since October. And then January came around and she wanted to buy a car. So we used that $800 to buy a car. All right. I got to cut you off. I got to cut you off. I got to cut you off. I'm sorry. I don't mean to.
I don't mean to cut you off. He would talk to you all day. I know. And I have to recognize. But we won't. Really quickly, and this is for anybody in business, okay? What do you do for a living? I work in an Alberta. Okay. Lucky. Lucky. All right. Well, I want to let people know that work in any kind of a business industry where they would do a PowerPoint presentation. This is new and pretty cool. You can now put together PowerPoint presentations on your iPad, and it now has a connection that will go to any HD television, and you can do the presentation from your iPad. That's rad. Can you do that from your laptop? Sienna, what did I just say? What did I just say? You said you can do a PowerPoint presentation right from your iPad. It's so cool. And what do you do it on? From your iPad to what? Who cares? No, it's cool. Who cares? No. I don't care. She does what my wife does. Sienna does what my wife does. Selective hearing. And I do that. I have selective hearing. I'll tell my wife something that is so cool. And I go, what did I just say, babe? And she tells me 95% of what I told her. Well, Sienna, when was the last time you put together a PowerPoint? I have never.
I haven't either, but I have to have the ability. Maybe one time in college, but I made my brother do it. Couldn't you do it with a laptop that has full functionality? Sure, if you want to carry around an 80-pound laptop. No, 80 pounds. You are so dramatic. That's cool. Isn't that kind of cool? Especially for business people. Because it is a beating, and sometimes you have to put it on a thumb drive or a disc. Can you take images from a disc and slide it right into the iPad? Yes, you can. It feels real good. If you're a photographer, an iPad would be great. Here's my portfolio. Little League coach. Dude, I saw it. It's sick. Talk about it. It's sick. The guy... Actually, we're playing tonight, has an iPad, and on it there's the baseball diamond. He's got all his players in the position for the inning that they're playing in. He can move the guys. Hey, Mikey, as far as you're going to go from center to short, and I can drag and drop you there and move you. Then, okay, as far as it gets up to bat, hits a single. Okay, Mikey, one for one. Mikey hits a double, two for two. At the end of the game, all the stats are.
tabulate it and add it up, and you can send out an email to all the parents saying, here's the stats from last week's game. It's ridiculous. Couldn't you do the same thing on a laptop? No. You probably could, but I've got to carry a laptop with me to the game. A laptop or an iPad. An iPad's that big. It's literally the only reason I would buy it. I'm not kidding. It's going to be a $400 stat keeper. I'd rather have... Full functionality with a laptop. Yeah, you're not going to take that, though, out to a baseball diamond. Okay, here you go. But you can watch dirty videos. So would you just have the iPad if you didn't have a laptop? No. So you have to have both. Yes. Yeah, I do like both. It's just an extra toy. I don't need both. I would pick one over the other. Yeah, that's because you have different uses for it. And if you do have different uses for it, you shouldn't get it. If you are the type of person that isn't going to take it on with you, then you don't need it. I would like to bring it here. You know, I'd like to bring my iPad here. And the only reason I don't, I keep forgetting. But thank you for the call. 5701949 is our number. The word of the day is queso. You just call it cheese. Yes. The word of the day is queso. Queso. And when you hear me say that word between now and 10, caller number nine, four packet tickets to NASCAR, pair of sunglasses. Don't forget.
Grand prize. Right now, gas is expensive. And you'll get $125 worth of gift cards to Arco Gas. Yes. Killer. You are in the running for that. That's the grand prize. Winning with anyone? Yeah. Grand prize on Friday. Never gets old. I know. And by the way, speaking of that, in a little bit, we're going to be telling you about some ways to save gas. that you probably think you're doing right now, and it turns out they're bits. They don't do a thing. You probably think that they're saving you gas, and you've always thought that this is saving you gas. It's a few ways that you thought is saving you gas. It ain't saving you gas. It's a bit. Damn it. We'll tell you. Big news, probably the biggest news this morning, is that CBS was saying If Charlie Sheen can get his act together, he is welcome back to the show. Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen has been on a rampage acting like a nut. Has his own website that he chats on. What's it called? Ustream. Ustream. He's going at it last night. Video chatting and sounding like a madman. Yeah. I mean, literally sounding like a madman on it. But what did CBS say yesterday, Sienna? Warner Brothers officially...
fired Charlie Sheen. Fired. Yes. Now, they said that if... Not winning. Not winning. Not winning. They said that if Two and a Half Men ever comes back, it will be without Charlie Sheen. Good luck. Good luck with that. They released a statement yesterday evening that said, after careful consideration, Warner Brothers television has terminated Charlie Sheen's services on Two and a Half Men effective immediately. Wow. Of course, Charlie has responded. told TMZ, this is very good news. It's a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge, which is what he calls his home, because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at what's-his-face again, and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension. He did wear stupid shirts. He wore bowling shirts every episode. Stupid. Yeah. That was his thing on the show. So... There's that. I wonder if he's allowed to go on another show. I'm sure. I'm sure if somebody else hires him and they terminate his contract, absolutely. It's like T.O. Somebody will take him. Yeah, somebody will take him. So, Fat Tuesday Tonight, parades, floats. 6 p.m. to midnight downtown. Sounds like fun. If you're 12. No, you have to be over 21. No, that's why. I don't know why. You know why I said 12?
Because I got the numbers reversed in my head. Yeah. That was weird. I meant to say 21. It'd be real fun if you're 21. 12-year-old doesn't care about Mardi Gras. He doesn't care about boobs. 21-year-old does. So if you're 21, tonight's your night. Have a freaking ball tonight. Just don't drive. Don't drive. Take a cab. Take a rickshaw. I've been on the floats. Oh, me too. So here's what I didn't know. I didn't realize that the BlackBerry was the number one smartphone, that Android was the number two smartphone, and that iPhone was the number three smartphone. Didn't know it. Well, this is a new study that Android is now the most used smartphone operating in the U.S. So now they're number one. Yes. Android has nearly a third or 31.2% of U.S. smartphones. Wow. Number two. Considering the Droid. Is the BlackBerry. L.O.B., you trying to raise my blood pressure? No. What are you doing to me? I've been told by a lot of people that they like it. I have too. Especially on the Verizon. Never been told by anybody that they like the iPhone? Yeah, but not on the Verizon platform. Yep. Have you talked to people that have problems with the iPhone on Verizon? It was just an underwhelming response. Oh, boy. 4G. Yeah, didn't get the good mark in consumer. But the 4G droid is getting, and it sure looks like an iPhone. The droid?
Yep. I've never seen one. A lot of my guys work for Verizon on my baseball team, and they're like, dude, get the droid. Just get the droid. It's badass. A lot of people have been sending me messages. Nine. Nine. Yeah, I get the same. No, I love that. I need a phone to send emails and make calls, though, so I really don't need that much. Yeah. Let's see. This was sad yesterday. I got this pop-up as an alert. Two sailors were killed yesterday in a training exercise in Camp Pendleton. Yeah. What happened? So this happened yesterday morning around 8 a.m. And basically a water truck, seven ton water truck rolled over at Camp Pendleton. There were three people in the car. Two of them died. One of them was taken to the hospital and is in.
Good condition right now is what they're saying. Stable condition. The truck was carrying drinking water to resupply a campsite that was taking part in Pacific Horizon. Pacific Horizon is a Navy Marine Corps exercise. So they're bringing out the water. It flips. Now, they don't know if the truck flipped because it was wet. It was raining yesterday. They don't know if that had anything to do with it. But two men were smushed and killed immediately in this truck. I mean, just so, so sad. And no information on the victims has been released yet. They need to notify their families first. But just, I mean, such a sad thing right here in our backyard. Hey, and speaking of sad, I don't know if you guys had been following this story, but there was a kid from SDSU that was traveling abroad. He was in Spain. He was missing in Spain. And sadly... They found his body. Yes. He's 22 years old. San Diego State student. His name is Austin. Austin Taylor Bice was missing in Madrid. That's where he was studying. He was last seen at a discotheque with some friends. He told his friends he was going to head home by himself. This was more than a week ago. They were searching for him. Well, they drained a portion of the Manzanadas River and found him in the body. They don't.
I think foul play was involved, but they're doing, you know, every test you can to see if there was any signs of violence to find out what was going on. But he had been missing since February 26th. Yeah. Just sad outcome. So it is official. Sienna mentioned it yesterday that warlocks were upset with Charlie Sheen. OK, this is phenomenal. What I'm going to play for you. We have audio. From a television station in Boston. Hello, Salem. Duh. Warlocks are upset. You haven't lived until you hear a female, I guess, witch? Yes. You haven't lived until you've heard a female witch with a thick Boston accent. Thank you. Thank you. You haven't lived. And we will play it next. Yes. Hey, what? This is Mike Tyson. Hey, Mike. Is it cool if later on, if I come in here and I try something out with you guys? Well, yeah. I mean, you don't have to ask me. You probably need to run by Mikey. If he said it was cool, then I'm sure we're all cool with it. I saw him outside when I was talking to him earlier, and we were talking about tattoos and stuff. Yeah, you guys both have a lot of tats. Most of mine are on my face. Yes. I like the one on your face. Oh, thanks, man.
I'm the only one, I think. But I was wondering if later on I can come in and I do this thing where I will read. I'm kind of trying to get into a new field because I'm not boxing anymore. Right. You're doing pigeons. That's one thing you're doing. I've always raised pigeons. I've always raised pigeons. But I want to do this new thing now where I want to try to get paid to do poetry readings and things like that. Really? And I just want to test out my style with you. Okay. And see if it's impetuous and impervious. Yeah, you know, I was an English major. Yeah. So I went to some poetry readings. Against my will, most of them. Are you guys cool if I come in later and try that out? Know it. And see if you guys like it. If we don't, can we tell you? Yeah, you've got to be honest. I'm just kidding. You've got to be honest with me. Otherwise, you know. It is Mike Tyson. I know. It'll be great. That's why I said, could we tell you if we were mad? If you don't like it, then I'll probably punch you in the neck. We will be playing the story, the TV news story about warlocks and witches in Boston, Massachusetts that are upset about Charlie Sheen using the term warlock. And you will hear a real life witch with a Boston accent. Oh, thank you.
Grocery store challenge at 7.30, which means that we do lyrical chairs. Oh, boy. It's like Russian roulette. We take a box that has disgusting stuff from the grocery store, and one of the boxes has something good, a tasty treat. But the rest of them have disgusting things, and we have to eat it no matter what it is. It's really bad. It smells like carrots and fruit. It's really bad today. Why do you do this? Why do you do that? It's really bad. It's awful. It's really bad. Hope you get the worst thing. Yeah. Oh, my God. All right. Are you guys ready for this? Yeah. Are you ready for the story from WFXT Boston about upset witches and warlocks?
Charlie Sheen holding court on the Internet last night with a live streaming broadcast from his home. The Troubles star continuing his assault on pop culture. But it's his references to warlocks and himself as one that has some people in Salem a little upset. Fox 25's Brett Conley takes us there. Here's another fastball, Peralia. Now it's just fastball. So that's our cue. When you hear fastball, you know that the warlock. that the machine is about to roll out some gold. Charlie Sheen isn't winning over any warlocks with his recent words, and these Salem witches and warlocks are fed up with his act. I don't know. Yeah. So I'm just letting you know. A rain stick. So don't ask. He said don't ask. You shall speak the names of the craft no more in foolishness and irreverence, for our ancient ways shall not be shamed. By your ill deeds, find healing and solace and return to what you do best. This was a joint effort to do a magical intervention for Charlie Sheen. We heard Charlie using and misrepresenting the words of witchcraft and it annoyed us. Charlie Sheen. One more time. Yo, please. Oh, yes. Charlie. It annoyed us. We heard Charlie using and misrepresenting the words of witchcraft.
And it annoyed us. Charlie Sheen is not a warlock, for a warlock is a wise person who understands the ways of the spirit world. And so no truly wise person would betray their own soul the way that he's done. Armed with the required ceremony gear and a couple spirits, the witches perform Sheen's magical cleanse. I call upon Uriel! Why wasn't I there? Angel of the North! that sees all magic and brings it forth. Oh, wow. How are you feeling? It's a hill that bothered us even more. So that's what we did today at 3 o'clock in the hour of the sun. We tried to raise the energy on behalf of his life. And while much of the heavy lift... I don't want to have to hurt him. But if he keeps it up, you know. Look, Charlie. All right? Look. You keep this garbage up, and I'm going to drag you down to South Boston, and you'll get shot. I'm going to throw a spell on you. You're going to get shot. I'm not even messing around. You're going to get shot. You're going to get shot. You're telling me you're not even going to cast a spell? No, you're going to get shot. You're just going to shoot me. Period. That's a threat. Yeah, you're going to get shot. Can't shoot me. I'm a warlock. I can shoot you. You're no warlock. You're not a warlock. Trust me. Charlie, you're not a warlock. Are you a warlock?
You're damn straight. You go to Warlock School? Absolutely. Warlock College? Yeah, absolutely. I read the manual. Did you go to UOW, University of Warlock? Correct. It's actually WU. It's WU? Yeah. You've been a smartass? Well, I went to UMass for a while, but then I went to WU. Why are you wearing a Star Trek t-shirt? Your mother gave it to me. Oh, did he? Yeah, exactly. Did he? Yeah, she did. Did he? Your mother gave it to me. You want to get shot? I don't want to get shot. Keep talking. I don't, but why are you wearing a big pointy hat? Why do you smoke seven grams of cocaine a day? Things happen. You are the toughest warlock I've ever met. One more step. If Charlie Sheen is listening, Charlie Sheen, we need to come and close your house and get rid of the negativity that you're holding in your house and you've collected from the drug addicts, the drug abusers, and we want to do this to help you and your family. We do not want to hurt you. Charlie. That's sweet. So great. Gosh, that's a great accent. Oh, wow. Especially when they're talking about witches and warlocks. And Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Well, you need to cleanse your house. It's fantastic. Let's see where people stand on this. Woodsy was at Statler Brothers yesterday, as my dad calls it. Some call it Stater Brothers, but Jay and my dad would call it Statler Brothers. He wanted to get some stuff for the grocery store challenge that we're going to be doing. Disgusting things. Correct. Thank you. You're welcome. Hope you enjoy.
So, Woodsy says, I parked way in the back rows since I'm still not great at maneuvering the suburban into a tight spot. True story. They should make the spots in San Diego a little more narrow, too. Yeah. Is everything for a compact car in this town? Did you... Are you from Brooklyn? Yeah, what was that? Well, is everything for a compact car in this town? That's right. My little New York came out. All right. Never lived there. Put on the honest cap. Honest cap. Do you have it on? Yes. If you lie, you'll implode. Okay. How far back did you park? Let's say there are, let's say from the front door of Statler Brothers, you have the driveway in front of it, right? Then you get three handicapped. Let's say there's 40 spaces down the road. I was in 36. Okay. Pretty far down. Pretty far down. Yeah. He says, I came back in some dill hole. Oh, wow. Strong language. Had written.
Nice park job. Yeah. Nice park job. In Sharpie on his passenger window. Oh. Not a note, mind you. On the actual window. On the window. Oh, my gosh. Had you parked across lines? My front, when I whipped into the spot. I need you to put on the honest cap. I'll tell you. When I pulled in, there was nobody to the right of me. There was nobody to the left of me. Okay? No, I mean, it was the back row. So I pull in, and literally when I was walking by my car, I go, oh, wow, my tire looks a little low because it was turned all the way to the right, so it was cut to the right. And that front tire was on that right white line. And it wasn't over it. It was just on it. I go, my tire looks low. It looks like my whole car is leaning on that front tire because I turned my wheel and didn't straighten it out and didn't back up and pull in.
Could another car fit next to me? Sure. Absolutely. Would it have been a little bit tighter? Yeah. But it wasn't like, you know, the right lines in the middle of my car and I'm taking up two spots. My tire was over the line a little bit. Oh, good. Now, Woodsy says this guy wrote nice park job. And Woodsy pointed out, isn't it nice parking job? Anyway, he's a vandal. Yeah, you're a freaking vandal. Is there still Sharpie on your window? Yeah, there's still some on there. You can see it. Oh, but you were able to get some of it off? So I get home. I'm driving, and I'm driving, driving, and I look to the right, and I go, oh, what is that? I'm like, what the? And I start to freak out because I'm like, well, there was nobody next to me, and there was nobody next to me when I left either. So this guy pulled in. I wasn't in there long. I got four items, okay? Literally, it's like he pulled in. wrote it, and backed out and left. Wow. He probably did. He probably did. He probably did. He's probably one of those guys. And so I looked at it. I got home, and I ran inside, and I grabbed some Mr. Clean all-purpose cleaner and a paper towel. Did a once-over, went for the wipe. Nothing came off. Oh. Once-over, went for the wipe again. Nothing came off. I'm like, I'm going to have a freaking nice park job on my window for all time. Oh, my God. Hit some more Mr. Clean, then started getting some elbow grease into it.
Probably took me, no lie, a good solid 30 to 45 seconds per letter. I was like, you're probably going to go to the gas station and get the window scraper thing. That would probably have done good. But it was, yeah, I didn't want to. I was like, you're an idiot. You don't ride on somebody's car, man. Yeah, the person that did that, in my opinion, should face jail time. 100%. Jail time. What are you doing, graffiti? graffiti artists writing on people's cars yeah it's the most it's horrific leave me a note leave a note a note is fine leave me a note call me an a-hole don't write on my car now i say if somebody does a bad park job i would plead with you not to leave them a note calling them an a-hole right but that's me that you know we we differ in that i would have been i would not happier but i would have been better With that, a mean note that I can go, oh, sorry, man. You know, my bad. I've done the note. Yeah, I've done the note. You don't write on somebody's car, dude. Yeah. With that said, I believe that you should park in between the lines. I agree with you. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how to get a Suburban into these tiny little spots. I can't. And I'm like, I try. Back up. I was in a hurry. You know, I was like, dude, it's...
My wife drives an SUV, and she parks it. How do I put this? Kindly. Like she's lost her sight. That was really kind. That was super kind. Oh, goodness. I probably went too far. Yeah, too far. She parks it like Jake would park it. I probably went. Helen Keller. Like Helen Keller would park in the car. That's too far. What I'm saying is, is that she doesn't park that thing the greatest. Yeah. Now, we've been keyed. No way. Oh, yeah. King is the worst. You're a dirtbag. So mean. You're a dirtbag. That person should do. That's like prison. No, that's prison. Yeah. You go to prison. You key some of these cars. So cool. Dirtbag. Yeah. Dirtbag. But you got to park good.
When I take her car, it's not easy either. But I take the time to back up and park correctly. And the reason that I do is because I know that I'm upset when I'm coming in and some dum-dum has parked their car half-cocked. So I'm merely trying to do for somebody else what I would want done for me. Absolutely, man. And that's really, honestly, if you've ever been anywhere with me, you'll know. I'll park far away because I get skeeved about parking that thing. And I get like sweaty if I got to pull into a spot. I'm like, stop staring at me. What's everybody staring at me for? I'm just trying to get my car in. It's such a boat. It's such a boat. Woods. Yeah. I've got a great call on the line right now. M1Go from PB. How we doing, guys? Good, man. What were you calling to say? Well, guys, we're making the suggestion yesterday that the guy should lie about the crashing of the computer. And I know this show really tried to exemplify values, and that was not an appropriate launch. So I apologize. Look at you. I love that. I love that. Woods, I think you need to. There's viral video all over the place of people getting caught on. Tell him that he can't get it. You're going to have to replace your window, possibly. And you want to see the videotape. I wonder if they have videotape. There has got to be somebody listening right now that works at Stater Brothers. Know somebody. Know somebody that works at Stater Brothers.
can get that tape, and then I know we've got a co-op that's probably listening to us. Yeah, we've got a co-op listening. I think you'll pull up with a Sharpie in their pocket and write on it. Two or three guys out in the parking lot collect up in carts. It's a cart way out there in the woods. No pun intended. That way out in the woods where I park. Yeah, and shit, you know what? Look at this, da-da-da, you know, and write on the window. You know, I don't think it's appropriate, but I would think that maybe the guys who collected the shopping. You think the guys that work there maybe? I don't. I don't think, I think I picture in my head, you want to know what I picture? It looked like a woman's handwriting, number one. Whoa. I pictured a very short-haired minivan driving, bitchy soccer mom. Electric minivan. Electric minivan, three kids in the back, bitchy soccer mom. Wow. That's exactly, and I was like, I'm going to get you. Yeah.
I was upset, man. It really was a capper to a crud afternoon. M1 Captain Moe's got a good suggestion should that happen to any of us. He's calling from North County. Captain Moe, you there? I also want to apologize for calling you guys the show yesterday. I felt bad for that. How did you call us the show? I called about... Oh, man, I forget what it was. I remember he said, I listened to the show, and he meant us. Yeah, you know what I meant. Don't worry. As simple as it is, as simple as it sounds, you're going to think I'm full of it. But if you take a dry erase marker on top of it, it will come right off. Yeah, that's true. That's a good old trick. Especially on glasses. On smooth surfaces, I messed with my mother-in-law like that. I drew on her car. with the Sharpie. And then I said that some kids messed up, you know. That's awesome. Oh, my gosh. You're brave. And it comes right off. Yeah, you put the dry erase right over the letters. Yeah. And then you use an eraser. And it comes right off. It comes right off. Wow. That's a pretty awesome trick. That's good to know. Forgot about that. My wife sold Sharpies for years. I should have known better. Thank you, bro. All right. Take it easy. Have a good day. Thanks. It was a bummer. Yeah. Somebody opened their door.
into my door and there's a scratch. Oh, I hate it. I got that too. Somebody got really upset with Rebecca because she was opening up her car door and she was parked within the lines. The tiny little lines. Yeah. They're tiny. And she was opening up the car door and it bumped the person next to her and they got really upset. Were they there? Yeah. She's trying to take the twins out of the car. Yeah. You know, it's like... What do you do? What do you do? You can't hover above, you know. Well, when there's people in the car next to you, you wait until they're not there anymore. And then you do it. Yeah. Because you're going to hit the car. I think what happened was they walked up. Oh, yeah. And her door was leaning. If it's lightly leaning without a slam, it won't do anything. I mean, she gets all freaked out about people getting upset at her, so she did it real delicately. Yeah. And the person walked up, and they were like. They didn't say anything. It was a woman. She didn't say anything. She just went. Do women ever do that? Do women ever pass it aggressively? Are women ever being about stuff? Are people. Oh, that's what I meant. Guys don't do that. Yes, they do. Guys go, hey, dude. Yeah, they go. Check your. Hey, hello. Do they always? Usually. No. Guys don't go. They go, ahem. Swearing. Ahem. They do. They're really tough.
Arm cross across the chest. They try to have bravado. Yeah. I would say I'd like to find this person and put them on the air and make them apologize to me and bring me some donuts. That would be great. Wow. Everything's fixed with you with donuts. Yeah. Fair enough. I had to take a pair of jeans to the tailor. You just call it running your everyday. Yeah, I was going to ask you. This isn't meant to be me. Why don't you try to be nice? I am. Delicate. Okay. Do you need some stuff to do in the afternoon? Are you out of stuff to do? Do you believe that I enjoy walking into Donna's tailor shop where, by the way, I truly challenge the fact that there's one person working in there named Donna? You run some odd errands, I think. You do. You do.
I'm not being mean. You do have some odd errands. Have you ever taken a pair of jeans to an Asian tailor? Yes, in North Park. Okay. Like six pairs of jeans. So this is, I believe, a fair question to you. What's your problem? Well, I had six pairs of jeans. They all had holes in the crotch. You know that. And I had to take them to the tailor because I didn't have any other jeans. Like literally every pair of jeans I had. Remember that? What should I have done? Nothing. You do run some odd errands. Give me an example of another odd errand he's run. Sir Latab. How dare you? Z Gallery. Z Gallery. It's not really an errand. It's more like therapy. You go to Z Gallery, Mike? It's more what? Like therapy. How dare you? You go to Z Gallery, really? I was being nice. What do you get at Z Gallery? That your wife doesn't buy. That look Sienna just gave me was the look that a counselor gives a patient. More than likely. Well, I just have a hard time seeing a straight man walking around Z Gallery. This is what the look that she just gave me said. It said, I need to ask this question without alerting him to the fact that I'm alerted. So I'll ask and try not to draw his attention to the fact that I'm concerned. Okay.
And so I'm just going to ask him, in as normal a tone as I can, you go to Z Gallery? That's exactly what went through on my head. Yep. You know, I love Z Gallery. You know who else is? I know that, you know, your wife probably does. L.O.B. probably does. L.O.B., my mom. I just looked at L.O.B., and she closed one eye and went, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Gay Nick, who calls in, he probably likes it. Yeah. The cake. Yeah. Yeah. Hello. You know, like Ryan Seacrest, maybe. I bet he's been to a Z gallery a time or two. John Travolta, Tom Cruise. Yeah, you know. Yeah. Stephen Slater. But you, Mike Esparza, no, didn't really do that. Just sleeved up real good. Yeah, just tattoos everywhere. I needed a blanket.
Oh, that don't make it better. Yeah, that don't make it better. Go to Target for the reason, and then it'll sound normal. I need a baseball mitt, and they didn't have any. I didn't know what happened. I kept walking through. Came out with a gicle plate. A new lantern for outside. Came out with a new butter dish, so it was all good. What'd you get at Z Gallery? I got a blanket for the studio here. Another one? No, I mean, I wasn't there yesterday. That was two days ago. I was at Sierra Le Taube yesterday. But that's not an errand. Because the word errand implies you have to go do something. Right. This is stuff you want to be doing. But Taylor, errand. Z Gallery in Sierra Le Taube. Fun. Fun. Therapy. Stop commenting. Bed Bath & Beyond? Have you ever been there before, Mike? I can't go to... I can't... It's beneath him. That would be... Embarrassing. We're plebeians. Okay. That would be embarrassing to me. I couldn't... Okay, it's like this. Have you been to Home Depot any time recently? Let me explain. Never. You know how a person, like, maybe they do cocaine, but they go, oh, I would not do heroin. I would not do heroin. What am I, an idiot? Like, I'm not a drug addict, you know? So, I will go, I'll walk into a Z gallery and get something.
And I'll walk into Sur La Table, a cook's paradise, and get something. That's what it's called. I didn't call it that. It's called a cook's paradise. Is that where you get your sippy cup? Yes, it is. Matter of fact, yeah, it is. Mike has a special cup that he drinks out of at home. Sippy cup. It's orange. That's right. And he has a black one now, I think. Oh, you do? Hello, Bree. That's my four-year-old son, Jake, saying it. Hello, Bree. Is he Asian? Hello, Bree. Little angel. Let's see. Tyson tunes coming up. Japan is halting vaccines. After a couple of kids died, we'll tell you what vaccines they were and who makes them.
It is a big company. A couple of kids have died in Japan because of vaccines. We're going to tell you which ones, what company. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, because of budget reductions, there has not been any lifeguards at Black's Beach in La Jolla. But now UCSD is going to be putting up funding for city lifeguard staff at the cliffside beach to be at Black's because a lot of the students go there and, you know, they need people watching out. So that's a good news. Students go to Black's? Yeah. Are they naked? Well, no. UCSD is right above Black's Beach, so it's the closest beach to them. So students go there and look at all the old white fat dudes? No, it's not. There's not as many naked people as you'd think. It's a huge surf spot. Yeah, and it's a big surf spot. Are there not naked people there anymore? There are. There are. You just walk past them. Yeah. You know, I wouldn't bring any little kids there, but if you're a student, you just go. They're not running around naked or anything. It's kind of strange to see a guy who looks like Santa Claus naked.
Also, Joran Vandersloot, who's the key suspect of the disappearance of Natalie Holloway, also was charged with killing a Peruvian woman last May named Stephanie Flores. His defense lawyer announced yesterday that he will be pleading temporary insanity to try to get a shorter sentence. So we're going to be finding out. He could be getting 15 to 35 years sentenced in Peru in jail for first-degree murder. But if he... gets this temporary insanity plea. It could be just three to five years and could be freed in as little as 20 months. Woods, what's going on at sports? Sports is brought to us today by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot, get some. San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders and Chargers President Dean Spanos met yesterday to discuss the possibility of building a new stadium here in San Diego. And it has been determined that... If we do build that stadium here in San Diego, it's going to be about $950 million. So they're looking for... $15 million short of $1 billion. $1 billion. And they're looking really for the best way to raise that money. Make sale. We should do brownies and pies. Well, you know the kid would...
I got 100 on it for sure. You know that. Also, this is a really big story that is coming to light. Ohio State football coach Jim Trestle is now under investigation because it's, you guys remember the scandal where his players were selling memorabilia to the tattoo shop, trading it for tattoos. Five Ohio State Buckeyes were suspended for their bowl game. And now it's come to light that possibly Jim Trestle knew about this as early as April of last year, didn't report it. And he is now possibly facing more sanctions from the NCAA. So he knew about it, didn't tell his athletic director, and did not report it to the NCAA. We'll cover up a bit. Stay classy, Columbus. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Woodsy is our sports guy. L.O.B. is our resident comedian slash assistant producer. Sienna's our news girl. Jay is our producer. And screening phones today is Alan. It's Alan. It's Alan.
Grocery store challenge at 730. Three of us will have to eat something disgusting. One of us will get something yummy. By the way, men should never use two words. One of them is tummy and the other is yummy. Correct. You're a father though, so I'll let that slide. Japan is halting vaccines. Oh my gosh, this is crazy. Right now they've temporarily stopped using vaccines from U.S. drug maker Pfizer. Because four children were killed. Now, this is what happened. It was within three days of giving the vaccine. So we know that they know that the vaccine had something to do with it. Four kids from under six months to two years in age died between March 2nd and March 4th. Now, the vaccines had been administered to a million to a million and a half kids in Japan that were okay. But for whatever reason, these four.
vaccines were against pneumonia some types of meningitis and uh there were some other infections and just the basic vaccines that you give your kids every day and it was pfizer pfizer so does that mean that if we're you know here in america that we should be concerned about vaccines with made by pfizer is there a recall or i don't know but as a parent to a new baby that's six months i'm already so freaked out about vaccines and whether to get them and whether or not to my husband's the one that sent this to me yesterday this article and i was just like Great. Well, here's the deal. If if you're a parent and you're getting your kids vaccinated, just ask about this. Just say, hey, I heard this story about Pfizer, Japan deaths. What can you tell me? Because, you know, may have been a controlled thing. It may have been, you know, so maybe read up on it before you go in. Well, and I'm that the only thing that creeps me out about, quote unquote, reading up about it is that you can read. That's what. I get scared of the words do your research. And the reason that I get scared of the term do your research is we don't go to the library to do our research. I could write an article and submit it online, have it on a website. In 10 minutes. Right. And someone could read that and think it was legit. 100%. See, when we do research, we go to Google. That's just what we do. Now, some of the information that we find is good.
Some of it, who knows? Check your source. You've got to check the source. I know, but if the source is something that there's a million of them out there that sound reputable. For instance, I can make up an organization today and call it the American Autism Foundation. And if that isn't taken, I can come up with that. And I can go on that website and I can say, Autism is caused by vaccines and blah, blah, blah. And I've seen websites where I'm like, this is not the CDC. This is not from the CDC. Now, with that being said, Rebecca and I both have the same take. We're never going to look at a parent that has a child with autism who they gave a vaccine to and shortly thereafter noticed a big change. We will never look at that parent and say that. Vaccines were not involved. We cannot. We can tell you that our child did not have an MMR vaccine and developed autism. And so at least in our case, the most suspect vaccine that there is, the MMR shot, measles, mumps, rubella, wasn't involved with Jake. He didn't get that shot. Now, Jake's kids never got vaccinated. Right. You know.
And I also don't believe everything a doctor tells me. Just because a doctor tells you doesn't mean that he's done his research. He may just be taking the path of least resistance. Here's the deal. You either are going to develop a relationship with your doctor and you're going to trust your doctor. You're not. You go to the doctor and he tells you, listen, I think that there's a problem. You can go get a second opinion. Absolutely. You can go get a second opinion. You hear it from two docs, maybe you're on to something. Man, I'm so sketchy on just going on Google. I'm just sketchy on it, man. Who knows what is out there? Oh, M1RJ from Kearney Mesa. You there? I am here. What was the word of the day? Did I say it? No. I didn't think I did. When did he say it? When did I say it? And I was so dumb that I just was like, what? No. You haven't said it yet. I just, yeah, I haven't said it yet. Alan said 10 people called. Really?
I never heard you say a queso. Uh-uh. Queso. Think, think, think, think. Did I? What did I say? Sometimes that kind of stuff just flies out of your mouth. You can't. Right. No, that's what I mean. It's queso. With me, I just, you know, I'm Mexican. I just say things. Did he say like, okay, so? He said, okay, so. Okay, so. Oh, maybe. I bet that's what it was. Okay, so. Something like. You know what? You say that a lot. That counts. That counts. Yeah. Okay, so. I got to give it to you. That's good. Okay, so. You do that a lot, actually. Yeah. Hang on the line. She's like, dude. Hey, guys. Is it cool if I do my thing? Because I just want to get your take and your temperature on this. That's cool. Yeah. Tell everybody what you're going to be doing again. Well, this is Mike Tyson. I don't box professionally anymore. No. I box semi-professional, which means that every once in a while, I'll have a tiger come over to my house. I put gloves on him and I'll box him. That's interesting.
But besides that, I'm not really doing a lot of, per se, you know, boxing professionally. Right. So I'm going to go into a couple of different fields. One of them is I do love to raise pigeons. And then the other thing I'm really thinking about doing is reading poetry. Oh, wow. That's what? Weird. Reading poetry? Yeah, reading poetry and sort of writing it. But I have to get down the whole. way I deliver it. Yeah. And so I'm going to ask Woods if you can help me, Woods. Yeah, sure. Will you play the bongos? I know poetry. Do you want me to play the bongos? I brought some bongos. Real bongos? You have bongos? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's good. That's good. And I'm going to read the lyrics to some songs. Is that cool? That works for me. Yeah. Sure. I want to hear this. Happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday. Well.
Can I play the thing first? Yeah. Are these things that we know? Yeah, there's songs that are popular. Oh, okay. So this isn't poetry that you wrote. These are songs. Let's hear some. Well, I'm going to do this one. Oh, that's live. Yeah. You ready? I'm ready. This is Mike Tyson. I talk of freedom and you talk of the fag. No, dude. That's not right. What? It's flag. Yeah. You talk of freedom, you talk of the flag. That's what I said, but I... You gotta watch out for it. You gotta watch out what you said. Said something inappropriate. Yeah, you don't want to say that. I talk of revolutions, but you much rather brag. Brag. Brag. Brag. As the decibels of a disconchanted discourse. Disenchanted discourse. And the decibels of a disconantic discourse. Very good.
Is that right? Yeah, you nailed that one. Continue to dampen the day. The coin flips again and again and again and again. And our sanitary is a part of walking away. Nope, nope, nope. It's our sanity. Sanitation. Yep. It's sanitation, but it's one word. Correct. Sanity. All this discussion, though politically correct, is dead beyond destruction. Is that good? It was pretty good. One thing I would recommend is if you're going to read lyrics, maybe run through them a couple times before you just go in. I thought the whole deal was you're supposed to just go out there and just try it. You're supposed to throw it out there. Well, it's like if I'm going to play a gig and I'm going to play music, I want to run over the songs I'm going to play before I go on. Yeah, rehearse. You guys know this song? Oh, yeah. Audio Slave. I don't read the lyrics. I just go from memory.
Okay. Is that cool? Yeah, absolutely. But you should kind of go over them in your head before you get started. Okay. Well, let's try it again. Maybe you'll get this one better. Ready? Yeah. Girls and wine. Pearls and swine. No, I think you get it right. No, it's... Yeah, it's girls and wine. It's pearls and swine. It's pearls and swine. Girls and wine. Breasts. Breasts in me. Breasts. I'm sure he gets that right. I thought it was girls and wine. and their breasts in me. No. Go on. You've got my attention now. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. Okay. Long and weary the road has been. I was lost in her itty-bitties. No. You need a lot of work. Alone in the hills. In the cities, alone in the hills. Oh. Yep. You're not good. Forget it. You're not good. Yeah, just go back to taking your pigeons, I think. Oh. Meals. Meals.
One more try. All right, last time. Paranoia is the June and the PR, something about the PR. In bloom. Dude, you need some. Forget it. You need some major. Forget it. You need some major work. You're bringing myself a theme now. Well, you can't just come out on the radio and not rehearse. Right. You're making me want to cry. Oh, boy. Don't cry, Mike. I'm sorry. That was actually really good. Don't punch me. I thought it was great. Mike Tyson. Don't give him a false. Stick to boxing. I thought I did a good job. You did. You really did. Don't punch me, please. E for effort. Take care of your pain. A for effort. E. Oh, E. All right, we'll try another time. I for incomplete. Yes. You need to get through those. You need to power through it. M1 Carla is on the line. She's calling from Mission Valley. Hi, Carla. Hi, Mikey. How you doing? Carla. Yes, sir. Go ahead. Well, I was just calling because I actually work in a clinic in El Cajon.
And we have one of the reps that goes to us is actually from Pfizer. Yeah. So I was really surprised that I heard that. So actually, they're going to be coming down on Thursday, so I'm going to be hitting them up on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ask them about it and see what they tell you. Definitely. So, yeah, I just wanted to say hi to everybody and just, yeah, because I was really surprised about that. The story came out that four young kids in Japan died after some vaccines were given to them from the drug maker Pfizer. Yeah, that's pretty scary. But the good thing is I know for a fact they take samples for us, but it's not for the pediatric. It's more for our other doctors. So, yeah. All right. Chances that Pfizer rep brings you guys some bagels on Thursday. Is that what they do? They're not allowed to anymore. Oh, they can't do that bit anymore? That was their bit for years. They're not allowed to bring you bagels anymore? We can't bagels, but I know Pfizer hasn't got us any for a while. Why LOB? Did they have like a law that they said you can't? It was kind of like the things that the student loan went through. It was kind of like, I forget what it's called. But it's just trying to sway the doctors to use their product by being able to take them golfing and catering events. So now not even bagels are allowed? I think technically they are. I understand if they're trying to fly them to Paris. Technically they are not. Frowned upon. Frowned upon.
I know it. I mean, my mom works in a doctor's office and she gets stuff every single day. Yeah, record companies used to give grams of cocaine to the radio stations. So the CBA. Woods, what's the latest on the CBA? Well, I mean, every day it's the same story. What's the CBA? It's the collective bargaining agreement in the NFL. And what they're doing is they're trying to figure out. The owners want to take, okay, of all the money in the NFL, the owners want now, they're not satisfied with the current arrangement. And the collective bargaining agreement, which is the agreement between the players and the owners, has expired. And the owners are saying, listen, we have these issues. And the players are saying, we have these. They have to get a new agreement done in order to have the season. It's got to be on paper. And here's a clip of the owners from yesterday's talks. It's mine, you understand? Mine. All mine.
Yeah, and so the owners are wanting a bigger piece of the pie, and the players are like, you're going to cut our salaries. We're out there literally killing ourselves and risking our lives, truly risking their lives and risking their future as a human being. They already get jacked up. Yeah, exactly. So the owners are now wanting to add two games to the regular season, yet... All they did last year was fine people for these vicious hits in the NFL, and they're going to add two more games to get these guys even more hurt. And by the way, if there were 18 games, what they've been saying, the owners, is they've been saying, you know, the fans want this. The fans want this. I'm like, who are you asking, pal? Right. Nobody's asked me. I don't really care. Yeah, because, Mike, they're going to take two preseason games away, which is great. But I say take two preseason games away and then do the 16-game schedule. Just keep it as it is. But they don't need four preseason games. I'm down with that. Well, Woodsy went on the street yesterday and started asking people, what do you think about it? So are you familiar with everything that's going on with all the labor talks between the owners and the players? What I've read, yeah, I've heard. Okay. Where do you stand? Who do you side with?
I think these guys should get through mediation, end it quick. I think you've got the spoiled kid theories. You've got the owners who put out money, and they've got the rights to this. So as a business owner and entrepreneur my whole life, I see both sides of this coin. But these guys are adults. They've got to sit down and talk like adults. Absolutely. So if for some reason next year there's scabs playing in the NFL, are you still going to? For those of you that don't know, scabs? means that everybody on your Charger team doesn't exist anymore, and they take regular dudes that are good at football, put them in Charger outfits, and put them on the field to play football. They're called scabs. I've already said if they have tryouts, I'm going to go try out because I can. That would be so awesome. Can you imagine if Woods was a wide receiver? I'd try out for quarterback. That would be rad. 100%. I'd make my husband go try out, too. 35 years old, just back there trying to take snaps real good. Well, the guys that would try out would mostly be these probably arena football dudes. Yep, they would know what they're doing. Canadian football and blah, blah, blah. Want to watch your favorite team? No, because they would not have got the job done. You wouldn't watch? No. He would not watch, he says, out of protest because they didn't get the job done. I respectfully would say that he's lying. Respectfully. I wouldn't watch.
I believe you would. I'd watch for a game, and then I'd be like, wow, this is terrible. What if it was good? It wouldn't be. That's the thing. However much you watch football now, I believe you would watch football then. I'd watch a lot more college football. A lot more. I don't watch much college football. I'd be watching the Irish. I'd be watching everybody. How much football do you watch on Sundays? A bunch. Eight hours worth. You're telling me you would not watch? Man, if... Joe from Escondido is back there taking snaps. I don't think it would be Joe from Escondido. What would it be? It would be guys from the Canadian Football League. Might as well be Joe from Escondido. Yeah, but Joe from Escondido, he doesn't look like an athlete. Sure he does. He does? Sure he does. Yeah, Joe played a little college football. Joe played a little college football. I think I might watch Joe from Escondido. I'm not saying I wouldn't watch it. I would watch it once and then be like, wow, that's awful. Here's another guy. What do you think, man, about everything that's going down with the players against the owners? What's your thought about that? My thought is that maybe you should keep paying them the money. Yeah, you know. And I guess I'm not sure. I wasn't hearing really a lot about. L.O.B.'s like, you know, I can do street bits. Yeah. Bring a video camera. Yeah, did you take a picture? I'll go. I mean, Woods doesn't want to do it. What's going on? Right.
You know, about the money, about the situation with the stadiums and splitting the money. Yeah, so the owners are wanting a bigger piece of the pie now. And paying the players less money. Exactly, exactly. So if you were going to side with somebody, who would you side with? The players. Siding with the players, okay. Now let me ask you this. If next year they move the season, let's say they do get everything worked out and they move the season to 18 games, do you think that's good or bad for the league? Good. You think it's good for leaving? More games? More games. Okay, cool. And if there were scabs, you know, if the players that we know and love weren't out there playing, if there were scabs playing in the NFL next year, would you watch? Would you watch your Raiders? No. You would not watch? No. How come? If they weren't putting out, performing. Is that right? You know, then I wouldn't watch. You wouldn't watch? No, it wouldn't be interesting. They're scoring touchdowns, pal. I think you'd watch. That's really the integrity of the game. Those guys are pros for a reason. And it happened in baseball. I mean, they had a lockout in baseball. And it took steroids to bring baseball back to what it was. It took the 98 season to bring baseball back to what it was. Now, Woods is the kind of guy that he is not going to keep any stone unturned. So when trying to find out what the average San Diegan feels about the collective bargaining agreement, he isn't going to stop.
until he gets every opinion. That includes the Portuguese community. Absolutely. Big football fans. Here in San Diego. Hey, man, what do you think about the NFL, the thing that's going on with the collective bargaining agreement right now in the NFL? What? Yeah, I mean, sure, I guess. Would you watch it next year if there were scabs? I don't know if I agree with that 100%. Who's greedier in this case, the players or the owners? You know, the owners is scabs. Yeah. Wow.
I don't know. That's one man's opinion. You know what I mean? Hey, man, have a good day. You're a little confrontative with him, I felt. It felt like you guys didn't see eye to eye. I didn't really agree with the guy 100%. I'm not going to stand there and waver on my morals. You've got your views. Because I've got what I believe in, and I'm not going to be pushed. Portuguese or not, okay? You still have an opinion. Portuguese or not. Portuguese or not. Portuguese. Portuguese. Ever broke into somebody's house and called 911 because you're scared? No, let me say it again. Ever broke into somebody's house, okay, you're an intruder, and you call 911 because you get scared? That can't be. What's that? It could be scary, I guess. Yeah, what if it's scary? What if you think, uh, hello, the owner might hurt me. Uh, hello. Duh, hello. Losing.
Scared. Scared. Loan. Loan. Scared. Drooting. Drooting. Sheep's blood. Sheep's blood. So when we get back, we'll tell you about this story. Oh, and then I told you this earlier. You know how we all think that we, you know, right now gas is so expensive and we're like, oh, we have these different ways that we save gas. You know, when we drive. I'm so embarrassed. I need to know. When we come back. We're going to tell you which ones of those are bits, and they're not saving you a thing. Nothing. We'll tell you next. So in a second, we're going to tell you these things that you're doing that you think are saving you gas. It's a bit. It's not saving you anything. Wow. You probably got it from your dad. Anyway, we'll tell you exactly what they are in just a bit. But first, Sienna, tell everybody about the guy. That broke into somebody's house and called 911. All right. Well, this happened in Portland, Oregon. And a man named Timothy decided he was going to break into someone's house. Well, he did something a little weird. When he broke into the house, he...
actually went into the bathroom and decided to take a shower. Of course. While he was in the shower, he heard the homeowner come back into the house. So he gets out of the shower and locks himself in the bathroom. The homeowner comes to the bathroom door, knows someone's in there, and this homeowner has two German shepherds with him. Oh, boy. And is saying, who's in my house? Get out of my house. Meanwhile, the guy in the bathroom, the intruder, picks up the phone, calls the 911, and says he's scared that the homeowner has a gun. and it's going to hurt him because he broke into his house. Wow. The homeowner has also called 911 and said, there's an intruder in my house. So meanwhile, 911's hearing both sides. And the guy was arrested, booked for criminal trespassing. It probably sounded like this. 911. I'm scared right now. First of all, sir, settle down. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Settle down. Settle down. Tell me what's wrong. I'm a guy. Oh, you're a guy. Okay. Sorry about that. I'm in a house right now. You're at your house. What's the address? I don't know. It's not my house. I broke in. You broke into the house? Yes. And I took a shower, and I got out of the shower, and I think that the owner of the house is home because he's got dogs, and I think I heard dogs, and I don't know if he has a gun. Wait. Somebody broke into your home?
No, you idiot. I broke into somebody's house and I took a shower. Gosh, what's the matter with you? Are you some kind of weirded creep? Duh, hello. Are you doing Charlie Sheen bits now? No, I just got out of these. Yeah, I'm going to send somebody to arrest you for breaking into this guy's house. You're lucky I don't let his dogs tear you to shreds. I am so sorry. Oh, gosh. Are you doing Blair Witch bits? Shut up. Please just send somebody. Yeah. I'm going to get killed here. You know, you deserve to be killed. You're a criminal. Oh, my God. Breaking into people's house. I'm always positive he's getting a weapon. I have to go. Please send somebody. Yeah, I'm sending somebody. You don't worry about that. Oh, my God. Okay, feast. Bye. Okay, feast. Wow. There you go. Could have sounded like that. I bet it did. Probably did. It's very similar. Yeah.
I can't believe this stuff happens in real life. You guys see all that snow up on those mountains? Still? No. It's crazy. There still is. I don't look. I haven't looked. Why did you look? I was keeping my eyes on the road. Yeah, he tries to squeeze his eyes shut when he's driving. Yeah. Where are you guys looking? The mountains around here. Look east. Yeah. And the mountains out there are covered. Really? Did you go snowboarding? I didn't. I haven't gone this week, no. This week? Is that hard to... learn? No, you'd love it. No, I wouldn't. He would hate it, but it's fun. It's not easy to learn. It requires some effort. You fall on your butt a lot. What is easier to get hurt? Skiing or snowboarding? Snowboarding. Get hurt? Yes. Because your feet are immobile. Yeah. A lot of people hurt their wrists. I've done both. Me too. I do both. I don't think either one is. I think they're equally hard. Getting off the lift with a snowboard with one foot buckled in is really hard. Getting off with skis is easy. Wow, I taught my four-year-old how to do it. I taught Jasper when he was four. Four-year-olds can do that. We're a family of athletes, so sue me. Yeah, that's right. She's got to know what you're doing. My four-year-old ran his first marathon at two months old. That's the deal. Don't quit giving me lip. My son, two months old.
Could bench 450. He's riding a hat pop. That's right. He's got six-pack abs. It's two months old. I have a serious question about skiing and snowboarding. What? I'm going to go on the next 94.9 trip soon, which I don't know if it's been announced, but it's coming. I don't want to snowboard anymore because it hurts my knees. I'm going to ski. I'm a dork now, right? No. Skiing's cool again. Okay, good. You know how to ski? Oh, yeah. It's my whole life. M1 Aaron says snowboarding is more dangerous. Way more. Right, Aaron? Well, yeah, you guys are talking about that. I think that snowboarding, people get hurt more often. When you get hurt skiing, it's pretty serious. It's kind of like being on a motorcycle, usually going faster, everything gets messed up. That's my opinion. I think you get hurt more often going snowboarding, but skiing, injuries are more serious when it happens. Just ask Sonny Bono. Wow, stop. It's too soon. Wow. Maybe a little, yeah. I mean, judging by the quietness of the room, probably, you know. Wow. It was weird. Definitely the Sonny Bono one. Is that too soon? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, probably maybe never soon enough. You can never ask him because he'll always be dead. Dead. I got you, babe. Yeah. All right. No. We got that. Thank you, Aaron. You ever hurt yourself, Aaron? Yeah, that was...
That was the thing. I hurt myself just not too long ago with my buddies, and I took a trip up there, and I broke my leg. Ooh, Eric. Yeah. Where in your leg? Just, like, below the knee, kind of in the shin, you know. It sucks because I feel bad about it. Like I said, I took a trail with my buddies. We were kind of messing around, you know, doing stupid stuff. Yeah, you know who doesn't? Oh, leave him alone. People that don't take chances. People that don't do anything. He said that him and his buddies were messing around. They were probably playing. That's what you're supposed to do on a snowboard. Mess around. Is it still broken? Yeah, but it wasn't a serious thing. You've got to set it out for a little bit. Do you have a boot? Do you get sympathy from people? Yeah. It's kind of annoying, too, because when you get, you know, after you went into the cast of the boot, you're kind of clipping around like a horse, you know, and come down the hallway. Have people signed your boot? Yeah, I mean, you know, people feel sorry for you if you do it the right way. You should go to the grocery store and get one of those motorized carts. Yeah! We had an M1 that did that. Yeah. Sure did. Go to Disneyland. He used to fake wrap up his leg so he could get on a motorized scooter. It's brilliant. It's the best. Well, good luck to you, my friend, and I'm sorry about your broken leg and your boot and your...
Boot scootin' boogie. People ride on it? Yeah. What's that? Do people ride on your boot and say nice things? No, no, it wasn't anything like that. But, I mean, you know, the toughest thing was, you know, you talk about sympathy. I feel like the person who's giving me the least sympathy is my girlfriend at the moment, honestly. Why? Like, you know, I mean, it's like I don't even – I don't know. Not that I want her to take care of me. I mean, you know, I feel like I've got enough people to do that for me. Like, I think I'm taken care of, but – You know, things are going pretty well. We've been dating a little bit, and, you know, everything's, you know, feeling pretty good. And then I come back, and I don't even get the sense she was pissed or anything. She was like, don't have time for me anymore. It's like, okay, thanks a lot. What did it go from what to what? Well, you know, a couple dates. I think it felt like it was pretty even. Like, hey, I want to hang out with you. Hey, I want to hang out with you. She called me. I called her. It was, you know, go back and forth. Like I said, pretty good, but now I feel like it's me. I don't want to be that guy, but, you know, me calling and being like, hey, what's going on? She's like, oh, not answering or, you know, texting me back or something like that. So it's like, okay. That just means she ain't the girl for you, bro. Yeah. And you think it's because you have a broken, you have a cast? Well, I mean, I don't know. It just seems kind of weird to me, you know. The timing. That is weird. The timing is a little weird. You would expect more. That's not the girl for you.
I mean, I'm glad my mom and dad have been really cool taking care of me kind of thing. But, I mean, it's, you know, I don't know. But I feel like the timing is really weird. Do they go to your house and help you out and stuff? No, like I'm there. I mean, that's where I'm at. I stay with them. How old are you? 27. Wait a minute. And you're staying with your mom and dad? You don't live with them, but you're staying with them since you got hurt? Well, yeah. That's what I said. They're helping me out and make sure everything's cool. Like I said, I'm glad to have them because they're supporting me. They're helping me out. Are you, like, in a wheelchair? Do you have crutches? No. Like I said, I'm in a walking boot now. So, I mean, it's like I said. But you still let somebody take care of you? Yeah, dude. What's that? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Before we all attack like hyenas. Rewind. Before we attack like hyenas. Sorry, but. He's 27. He. Do you have your own apartment? Yeah. Okay. He's 27. He has his own apartment. He broke his leg. And his mom and dad are taking care of him. He broke his lower leg. It's not even a full cast. He's staying with his mom and dad. So what? Hang on, Hannah. Let's please. I have questions for you. Okay. What? For instance.
Has your mom done anything yet today? Like, has she, what is, like, to help, like, to take care of you? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, if I need my laundry done or something like that, like, you know, wake up in the morning, like, she has some stuff done for me, I mean. Does she bring you food? Sometimes, you know, if I get up late or anything like that, and she'll do something like that. Okay, for instance, like, you're in, I'm assuming a room right now. Uh-huh. This is a legitimate question. Uh-huh. Are there Batman sheets or anything on the... Oh, my God. All right, all right. Is your car shaped like a bed? I was taking liberties. I was taking liberties. I'm sorry. I understand. I apologize. Wow. I apologize. I apologize. That was... Hey, listen, man. I'm happy to have him because, like I said... No, no, no. I understand. What does she do?
Your mom. I mean, she's not, like, tucking me in or anything. No, no, no, no. I know, but what does she do? Like, does she bring, does she cook you stuff? Raps his cast in a little plastic bag for before he takes a shower, bath. Yeah. Like I said, listen, when it was, when it first happened, you know, when it was tough for me, that they offered for, you know, for me to kind of help me out. If I needed something taken care of, you know, running errands for me or like, yeah, I mean, I'm not going to lie. They did make me stuff to eat, but I mean, okay. So what's wrong with that? It's okay. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Aaron, I may have a theory about the girl you're dating. Okay. And this is just a theory, but it may be that she thinks that's odd. Why? Okay, yeah. Were you in your apartment? With the girlfriend. Yeah, you were. Yeah. Before you got hurt, right? Yeah. So you were on your own. Yeah. Now you have a boot cast. A boot. Not even above your knee and it's a walking cast. A walking cast. And you've moved it with your parents. With his mom. So his mom. Is taking care of him. Well, maybe if this broad took better care of him, he wouldn't have to. I don't think she got the chance. He has a boot cast. But he had a broken leg at first. People still go to, are you still working? Yeah, I mean.
A little bit, yeah. I'm kind of like, you know, take a little bit of time to, you know, take a little bit. Yeah, to heal the broken bone in your leg. You're not alone. I'm on board with you. Every time we all get sick, the first thing we want is our mom. And if you have a significant other, that significant other is supposed to take the place of what mom does. Correct. And if she's not doing it. Yeah, but they're not serious. They went on a couple dates. They don't live together. Yeah, so then he's got to go to plan B, which is his mom. Here was your chance. Dude, I had a boot cast in second grade, and I went to school every day. It was fine. I think it's a little. No? No. He might be milking it a little bit longer now. I'm a mama's boy. 100. He's milking it a little bit longer now, but because he feels shafted by said girlfriend. Wow. There are people calling right now. Oh, don't. Aaron, you sound like a rad guy. Yeah, a guy snowboards. Maybe you sound a little hot too by your voice. But I'm just, you know, maybe you. He does. M1 Jim from San Diego. Are you there? Yeah, this is Jim. Go ahead. You have a question. Hey, I'm just curious. Can you not work because you have a cast on your lower leg? Well, I mean, it doesn't make it easy for me to get around. So, like, I haven't been working for a little bit. But, I mean, it's not that I can't work. It's just that I haven't been.
What kind of work did you do? I'm not working in an office. You know, it's not like it. You guys. Holy crap. Judging monsters. Judging monsters. Sitting in a cubicle is pretty rough. I would milk it if I could. A hundred. I'm going to break my own leg today, so I have to come in and see you clown. There you go. I'll do it for you. Dude, this is a joke. Aaron. Aaron. Aaron, are you on the phone again? I'm trying to bring you. Stop. Aaron, I'm trying to bring you your grilled cheese and your tomato soup. Is this a grass stain on your jeans? Why'd you get a grass stain? I told you. I've told you 50 times, Aaron, with the grass stains already. Do not wear your socks outside the house. I told you to run on the desk. His mom is from Del Mar, not from Long Island. Aaron! Did you wear your socks out into the yard? Aaron, are these skid marks? Aaron, I have your back. Aaron! Aaron, I have your back. I'm not going to participate. I do too, Aaron. I have your back. You just said skid marks. Aaron, what's this magazine I found under your mattress? What is this, hustler? You got grass stains on your socks, caca in your shorts, and a Playboy magazine. How?
How dare you come into my home with this pornography and this caca and these grass things? Erin, did you brush your teeth this morning? It smells a little foul. I'm going to go feel the toothbrush. It better be wet. Stop it. The grass toothbrush is not wet. I'm not kidding you. You will make your own grilled cheese sandwich. Don't you make me call your father from work. Did you put the toilet seat down? Do you want some applesauce? Erin, I don't want that girl calling here. What kind of a girl calls a boy? What kind of a girl calls a boy? Eject, eject, eject. Erin, we're sorry. I was supposed to be on his side. You sound hot. Sienna thinks she's sound hot. I do, too, and I think that that girl is a monster, and he's an angel. I guess I'll call back to Sienna. Did your mom pick out the clothes you're wearing today? M1 Johnny from Chula Vista. Johnny, go ahead. We're driving my son to school, and we're looking at each other, and we heard he went snowboarding.
I wonder if he bruised his mangina like that. Oh, my God. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Hey, Daddy. Did he bruise his mangina? Daddy, tell him to change his man pond. Tell him to check his sack, Daddy. What? How old is your son that's in the car? Oh, I hung up. Oh, he's three. I want to talk to him about the mangina. No. Aaron, I'm on your side. Guys, I mean, I don't even know. I'm sitting here and I'm not even that upset. I really didn't think this was a huge deal. I don't. I don't think it is. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Listen, Aaron, I think that the reason that some people are questioning is because you're capable of getting around and to stay with your mom and dad at 27 years of age. Some people may think that that's, you know, a little... If my parents were here, I'd milk it. Me too. If I get meals out of it. You guys. Oh, my goodness. M1 Ryan from Oceanside. Hey, what's up, Mikey? What's going on? I did construction, so if I broke my leg, I'd be out of work. But, Aaron, I feel for you. And this is a guy who shops at Pottery Barn, so I wouldn't take it too seriously, man. Are you talking about Mikey? He's talking about himself. Who shops at Pottery Barn? Himself.
Come on, Mike. Yeah, you do, man. Oh. He's questioning your manhood for questioning his manhood. First of all, it's Pier 1 I shop at. First of all, Z Gallery. Second of all, Z Gallery. And third of all, you're right. Thank you for the call. Thank you for the call. Well. You guys. I mean, just make a big deal out of stuff. Yeah. Guaranteed. That's why the girlfriend skeeped out. When I was in college, I got mugged. I got jumped and I broke my elbow. Now, I could have stayed in Chicago. I was 23 or 22. I wanted to come home. I wanted to be with my parents. I wanted them to take care of me when I got hurt. I wanted them to. You got jumped by four black guys. Three black guys. And you were almost dead. Yeah. But at the end of the day, I had a broken elbow. Are you going to compare? Yeah. If I broke my leg today... Excuse me. Are you going to compare your life-threatening mugging? to a guy that's wearing a boot because he was snowboarding. Yeah, he broke his leg. I was in an accident that almost took my life, but at the end of the day, all it was was a hurt back. Exactly. Same thing. I could have died. I didn't. How long did you stay with him, Woods? My parents? Yeah. The whole summer. Like a month, a month and a half. Aaron and Jana must have been really sore. Oh, wow. Aaron, Aaron, I, listen.
To each their own. I say to each their own. And if you're staying with mom and dad, that's fine, man. You know, now. So you guys would just grit it out? You and Sienna? Just grit it out by yourself? Sienna, you wouldn't call your mom and dad for anything? No. First of all, my husband would help. But what if you lived alone? He lives in a cold, lonely place. But it wasn't at first. It was a cast. By grit it out, do you mean put a bag over your... Cast? No, Mike. You have nothing wrong with you and you still go, babe. Yeah. Babe. Fair enough. Do you need stuff brought to you? Fair enough. I would not move in with my parents. He doesn't have a Rebecca. Yeah. If I didn't have a Rebecca and I busted my leg, I would not be moving in with mine. No way. That's me. That's me and I'm not casting judgment. 13-year difference there, though. At 27, you might have. No. No. No. No. Really? What if nobody could get up and get your sippy cup for you? Right. Or your phone? Or your pork chops? Mike is like that now because he can be. iPad. He wasn't like that before, and he would have taken care of himself. Thank you, Aaron. We appreciate it. Yeah, no problem. Thanks a lot, guys. We love you, bro. We love you. Keep an arm. Yeah. Be tough. Grow up Peter Pan. Send us a picture. Grow up Peter Pan.
Pork chops. For example... Babe! Can you bring me some pork chops? Chances that's actually been said in your home before. Daily. Never? Never! Say never! Maybe, maybe once. This week. Eight times. You know what we're doing next, right? Oh my god. Well, we're going to tell people what the bits are. That you think you're saving gas. But we're also going to do the grocery store challenge. Brace yourselves. It's disgusting food. Three of us will have to do it. One of us will not. Because there's four boxes. Three of them have disgusting food. One of them has a sweet treat that's nice to eat. Delicious. It's next. If you want to play Lyrical Chairs, call us now. 570-1949. You have to pick one of us. You're going to pick me. Woods, J, C-N-R-L-O-B. We will be doing something disgusting here in just a second called the grocery store challenge. There are four boxes. One of those boxes contains something great. Three of those boxes contain something disgusting to eat. And we don't know who's going to be eating what. All we do know is the person that wins lyrical chairs doesn't have to play. It's extra bad today. Oh man, it's extra bad.
Sienna, what's going on in news? What restaurant do you think has the most locations around the world? McDonald's. You would think that, but that's not true. McDonald's has the second most. Subway now tops McDonald's with the most restaurants worldwide. Yeah, at the end of 2010, Subway had... $33,749 compared to McDonald's $32,737. However, McDonald's is still the leader when it comes to sales. Also, there is a new American Idol type show. It's called The Voice and it's debuting next month, April 26th. The judges are Christina Aguilera, CeeLo Green, Adam Levine and just announced the fourth judge in the panel is country singer Blake Shelton. You know I will be watching that. So this is like the new judges on American Idol then? Yeah. Well, this is a brand new show. Oh, so they're having like American Idol 2. Yes. Why? We definitely need that. Why would they want? I don't get it. If they've already got American Idol, why do they need another? Just copying it so people are going to be like, oh, well, I've seen the same song and dance for years. Let me try this new one. I guess it's got to be different, though. They got to make it different. They have to. What's going on in sports? Well, Charlie Sheen is in talks with a very famous NBA owner. Can you guys guess who?
that wants to do a reality show with him. Guess. Take one guess. Jay-Z. No, good guess, though. Mark Cuban from the Dallas Mavericks is in talks right now with Charlie Sheen to possibly do a talk show or a reality show of some nature. And these two clowns together is going to be just unbelievable. And I will watch it. I guarantee you will watch it. And then yesterday was a very emotional day in spring training. Gabrielle Giffords, the woman, A woman in Arizona that got shot in the head. Well, there were a lot of other people hurt and injured in that, including Dallas Green's granddaughter. Dallas Green managed for the Phillies for years. And they did a big, her little, or one of the boys that got killed, his brother, throughout the first pitch at a spring training game. There were over 7,500 fans there yesterday. And it was a very emotional day. Grandfather Dallas Green was there. And then it was his grandson throughout the first pitch. Very, very sad. Okay, are you guys ready? No. I'm not either. Never. Never ready. Let's just call it off. Can we call it off? Just call it off. Lyrical Chairs is where we will have a word introduced to us, and we have to sing a song with that word in it. We will go clockwise. It'll go like this. Me, Sienna, J, Woods, L-O-B. Me, Sienna, J, Woods, L-O-B. And if we can't sing a song with that word in it, we're out.
It's Woods' turn to start first. Or Jay's, actually, right? I'm the reigning champion. Oh, he started last week. Jay went last week, so this week Woods starts. So Woods starts. Let's start with you. No. We rotate. That's it. You rotate so that the same person doesn't have to start every time. Yeah. All right. So now it's time for people to pick who they want. M1 Argyle from Point Loma. Who do you want? I'm sick. I want Jay. Yeah, you do. You got it. Hang on a line. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. Who do you want? I want Woods. You got it. Hang on a line. M1 Robert from National City. Who do you want? Lauren. You got it? M1 George from San Diego. Who? You, Mikey. You got it. Why do M1s hate me? They do not hate you, Sienna. I'll just go home. Every time. M1 Shawnee from Oceanside. Sienna. Yeah, you've stuck with. You are. Have to have. Yes. I think last week you were picked first. You got Sienna. Okay. Oh, my gosh. She's going to win the whole game, I bet. Yep. I'll just hang up now, I guess. Am I? All right, listen. Never win these stupid things. Our phone screener, Krause. It's Krause. It's his job. Oh, my gosh. To pick the word that we have to incorporate into a song. Chris, are you there? I am here. Okay. Better be a good one, Chris. Chris! As soon as the word is said, Woods is on the clock and must start singing. Shut up, you guys.
Are you guys ready? Yes. Chris, what is the word? Time after time. Once upon a time, I was petrified. One, three, two, out. Time enough to have my source. Now I've had the time of my life. Taking away. You just changed. Oh, damn it. That's twice. I'm just going to sing that one then. Taking away. The hours that bring on a long day. I didn't hear time in there. There's no word time. Dang it. You're out. Quit singing in my head. What? My girl likes to party all the time. Party all the time. Yep. Give me time. Do you really want to? Oh, time. Wait, I just had it. I just had it. Time and time.
Time and time again. It's counting crows. Hit me, baby, one more time. Take time to realize. He's distracted. Yes! He's not allowed. He's not allowed. He's not allowed to do that. I didn't do a effing thing. Next time he goes out of order, he should be kicked from the game. Yes, that's true. Fine. In on that. In on that. Okay, listen. But he won. And then he has to eat. What's he won? He's a very dirty player. Goes out of order, gets in people's faces when they're trying to think. Very dirty player. He just put his feet up on the console. Why does everything sound so weird? I don't know. Thank you, Chris. No problem. We appreciate it. The first thing I sang wasn't even the real words anyway. Nobody called me out on it. Hey, if you get it biased. If you get it biased. M1 Lisa, are you there? Yes. What's he won for you? Yay.
All right, hang on the line. All right, so now it is time for the grocery store. No, no, no, Jay. Jay, Jay, Jay. You just stay put, buddy. You're getting so carried away, Jay. Come over here, Jay. Come over to the microphone. Lauren is going to hand out boxes. What about Alan? He's the one that's not involved. You're handing out boxes. Do we need a camera? I have one. What is this? Perfect. There you go. All right, hand out boxes, L.O.B. She won't smile at me. Sienna is irritated. I'm irritated, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I hate this game. I hate it. It sucks to be you guys. Now, we open them one at a time, and we tell what we have in the box. Oh, hey, and there's one in there that is... Can I tell them the story? No, just shut up. Can I tell them the story of when I bought them and what the lady said? Turn up this bike. Turn up this bike. And what the lady said? Nobody likes you right now. And what the lady said at the counter, she goes... Oh, boy. What is this? And I said, well, I said, this is for a radio bit. And she goes, that's an interesting combination of nasty foods. Poop genes. Nobody likes you right now. My box is heavy. I'm used to it, L-O-B. So we open them one at a time. I'm just getting ready. And tell what we have. Here he comes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, I love that. Why didn't I get that? Oh, my God. Is that cat food? Oh, my God. Is it sardines? Oh, no. It's worse. What is it? What is it? Is it fancy feet? No. I'm not eating dog food or cat food. That's not even the worst. Those are John West peppered mackerel fillets in sunflower oil. Not bad. I would eat that. Is that like fish? How about we trade? Is that like fish? You can't do it. Without looking, do you want to make a trade? No. That's a good move, just in case. Just in case. LLB, there's one in there that... There's something worse than this? Oh, buy a hundred. Oh, my gosh. It's going to be mine. Sienna, open yours. This is disgusting. I never want to do this again. Peppered mackerel filet. Something smells like a burp. I don't know if it's that mackerel. Don't tell me. Is it little? Sienna, is it little? What is it, Sienna? Oh, my gosh. She just got a look on her face. Oh, she got it. Oh, my God. What is it, Sienna? Oh, my God. That's it. What is it? This is dog food. It's not dog food. It says Libby's potted meat food product. Oh, my gosh. Can I just quit? That's the one. I'm serious. I'm not eating that. I'll switch with you. I'd rather eat potted meat than fish.
You want to switch? I like that potted meat. Let me look at your fish. It's fine. I'll eat potted meat. I'll eat potted meat before I'll eat fish. You'll eat potted meat? I'm shaking. I'm so nauseous. I'm nauseous. Wait, wait, wait. Don't open it yet. You're trading? Yeah. Wow. She's going to eat that freaking fish. Potted meat is not bad. It's disgusting, bro. Read the ingredients. Read the ingredients. Mechanically. Oh, gosh. I had mechanically separated. Listen to this. Mechanically separated chicken. Pork skin. Partially defatted cooked pork fatty tissue. You just call that Monday, Mikey. Why are we doing this? Partially defatted cooked beef fatty tissue. Fatty tissue. Vinegar.
Less than... Can we please trade back? Can we please trade back? No. No. You've already done it. Potted meat. Go ahead. Open yours, Jay. There we go. Thank you, Mike. I hope it's candy. Thank you. Oh! That means Lauren's got the good one. Fish steaks. Disgusting, dude. I love fish steaks. Fish steaks. I love fish steaks. Beach Cliff fish steaks in soybean oil with hot green chilies. Yes. How convenient since I handed them out. L-O-B. What? What did you get? Oh, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I thought not everybody liked me right now, LB. Well, I'm actually not going to eat this because I'm doing a little cleanse. You can have it. You want a switch? No. You want this? Nah. All right, guys. Now's when they say it's time to feast. Can I get you a cracker or something? Do we have any crackers? You got some tortilla chips over there? I have to open this like a beer can. Me, all of them. Oh, my God. It looks so good.
It looks so gross. Oh, it smells like cat food in here. Oh, I'm all in. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wait, let me see, Mike. Oh. Where's the camera? Oh. Oh. Mine stinks. It's fishy. Oh, my gosh. Hey, Alan, will you grab us three forks? And a gun? There's a button right here. Oh, my gosh. Oh my gosh. This is the greatest thing ever. Sienna's is like gelatinized. It smells, you guys. Open the door. Open the door. You might should have kept your first one. No, I think that looks good. You're a weirdo. I never want to do this again. Oh, we're doing it. Come on, let's always do it. You guys will have to do it to get me because I haven't gotten ahead to go yet. Mike is just staring out the window. That smells like such butt.
Oh, that's filthy. He brought chopsticks. Let me see, Jay. Oh, my gosh, Jay. Oh, my gosh, Jay. I need a chaser. Oh, that's so foul. I need a chaser. Jay's is, it looks, picture if trout had been gutted and then sliced into quarters. It smells so bad in here. Here, I'll do mine first. I'll have my Reese's peanut butter big cup first. Here we go. My new bit. Yeah. Woods just takes a picture with his treat every time. With my candy. Oh, hold on. Can I just get this over with? Hold on. I'm going to try to get this down if I can. Yes, Sienna. Let me see. We have to do the real deal. Oh, that's nothing. Shut up. Oh, my gosh. It smells so bad. This is the most foul. There. Let me see. Oh, that's not even a bite. Shut up. It's not even a bite. Why do you want me to be miserable? I want you to do the challenge. I'm eating disgusting.
Whatever it is. Go ahead, Sienna. Go ahead. Oh, man. She just put it in her mouth. She's chewing. She's chewing. Oh, my gosh. She's chasing it with bacon. I'm not kidding. She's chasing it with bacon. I'm not kidding. She's chasing it with bacon. I'm not kidding. Chasing it with bacon. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, you can. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. How much bacon can you cram in your mouth behind that? I don't want to eat that. Wow. This is the last bite of my Reese's peanut butter big cup. Try to get it down if you can. Hold on. I'm going to try to get it back. Don't throw it away. You hear that? Don't throw it away. Don't throw it away, he said. Did you just tell her not to throw it away? What are you going to do? Take it home to your family? It's going to be worth something. I may eat it. I may have a bite of it. Are you going to take a bite of that? Here we go. Ew. Stop licking it. That? Stop licking it. It's so good. Oh, my God. They're sardines. Oh, it's so good. He's eating more. He's going back in a second. He's having lunch. I would eat this every day. What is it? It's sardines and chilies. It looks like fish that was found in a canal. In the belly of a seal. In the belly of a seal. Oh, that was good. I'm now sucking on Altoids. Here we go. Here we go. This potted meat has the consistency of pudding. Pudding.
It's meat. Mikey, just think of it as meat pudding. Yeah, there you go. Oh, God. This is a meat pudding, Pop. This is a meat pudding, Pop. I'm not the salivating. Minus two. Watching it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Oh. Is it awful? Is it awful? Is it awful? Is it awful? It's like liquid meat. Swallowing it is the worst part. Oh, boy. It's cat food. It's cat food. It's cat food. It's cat food. Oh, man. It's like he's giving birth. My phone! It hit you. It just hit. Bacon. I need bacon stat. I need bacon. I need bacon. It hit the taste buds. It hit the taste buds. Give me some Altoids. Hand me a little piece of that bacon. No! Give me some. Everyone can have some but woods. Yeah. Weird. Oh, my God.
Smells like body. Dana, your meat is not good. My fish? Your fish is not good. I know. Oh, my goodness. Your fish is foul. I'm so sorry. My body. I'm going to go eat. Listen. My body. My brain was telling my mouth. Throw up. Don't swallow. Throw up. And I was having to. It was as if I was underwater and trying to breathe water. And my body was like. My body was like, you can't. No. Me too. Oh, man. Swallowing's the worst part. You get it right there and you're ready, but you're like... It smells like Fancy Feast. I don't know which one of you is eating Fancy Feast. Please get it out. It's a fish. Here, wait. This one, too. Light your candle. Do we have a match? Do we have a match? No. I got a match. My butt and my face. No, no. My butt and your face. Oh, it stinks in here. You're shoving turkey bacon in my throat.
Get rid of that disgusting taste. This will probably be the last time we do this bit. Please. Okay. It's off. Woods has not had to eat anything. No. Works for me. He's the one that picks it out, too. Sienna. Sienna. And pays for it. Sienna. What? We've got to do this bit until Woods has to do something. We can scratch it if you want. He is the most sensitive and complaining of us when it comes to food. Why don't we take turns with who gets the food? Fine. You mean who hands it out? Yeah. Or who goes and buys it? Yeah. Have a ball. Oh, no, no, no. I want to get pickled pig's feet. I made a rule yesterday. I said no pig's feet. Yeah. And I could have bought them. I could have bought them, and I didn't. Okay, okay. That's my only rule, though. I think I've eaten 17 cinnamon alnoids. Filthy. Filthy. Oh, wow. I like it. It's free food. Hi, I have a question for M1s, and I want them to call in about it. What is the most, what is the jankiest, most ghetto, laziest school project that you've ever turned in? I mean, you had a, like a science project or something. And you, I want to hear the biggest, most ghetto mail-in. You just mailed it in. Like you did it two seconds before you walked in and it just was the stupidest looking thing.
570-1949. All right, so I want you to call us for the jankiest, laziest, most ghetto school project you ever turned in. Looking back, you are mortified that you turned in. We're going to be telling you about those gas-saving tips that you think that you're doing that work that are not working because they're not true and they're a bit. And for a lot of you, you're going to go, oh, I thought that was working. I thought it was... Conserving gas that way. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is... The album's Costello. Garrett. Armed Forces. Okay, so here are the gas saving tips that you probably do because you think that they're saving you money. They're not. Turning off the AC. Check. Yep. Check. Really? Doesn't do anything. Right. Thank you, Lord. You've got to think it uses more gas.
Air conditioner in your home does a number on your electric bill, so it's got to be draining your gas tank too, right? Not so much. Yes. Good. That's a good thing. Consumer Reports did a test on it. They proved that it doesn't do anything at all. Wow. It's awesome. Glad to know that. It's good news. Who knew? If you thought that filling up when it's cold outside helped conserve gas, it doesn't. I hadn't heard that, but apparently some people do. I had heard of that. I wasn't a stickler to it. Increasing tire pressure does not conserve your gas. Heard of that. I have heard that. What? Does not. To get the most out of a gallon of gas, you should pump up the tires, a lot of people think, right? Yep. While driving on under-inflated tires can cost you 3.75% in fuel economy, over-inflated tires can be dangerous. It reduces the grip on the road, could cause an accident. Proper tire inflation is important, but doesn't do anything for gas saving. Wow. Weird. How about pouring in additives that cost a lot of dough? Check. Doesn't do anything. Weird. STP gas treatment. Real good. Complete waste of money, according to the EPA. Awesome. Wow. How about changing your air filter? You heard that? Yeah, you change your air filter. Big bit. Helps on gas. Helps it. Nothing. Doesn't do.
They always pull it out at the mechanic and they'll show you how dirty it is and you're like, well, that's what it's supposed to look like. Yeah, look at this thing, man. Have you ever heard that when you start up your car, it uses a lot of gas to keep your car running? Yes. Keep the engine running? Nothing. What? No way. Bad advice. I leave my car running, so I'm like, I'm not going to start it again. Wow. Especially if you have a fuel-injected vehicle, you are really wasting your time. Doing that thing that probably your dad taught you a million years ago. Holy cow. So there's some tips for you that you might want to remember that are not doing anything for you at all. One thing that really does, though, you're supposed to keep it above the halfway point if possible. Don't fill up when it's on empty. Why is that? I do that all the time. It just gets better mileage at the top half of the tank than it does on the bottom. That's a fake bit. Because you think you're carrying more weight. How do you know that that's not a fake bit? Because I've heard from several mechanics. Several black African-American mechanics. Call in, EPA slash mechanical expert. M1, Brendan from San Diego. Are you there? What did you turn in as a science project that was ridiculous? Oh, let me tell you. Okay, so I was in high school. I think I was a freshman.
totally spaced on this project. We were supposed to invent something. It's a common problem. So it's like, I don't know, two minutes before I have to walk out the door to go to school and I totally spaced and I was like, oh man. So I saw a matchbook laying on the ground. So I picked up the matchbook and I grabbed a Hershey Kiss tinfoil, wrapped it around the match and it was a self-extinguishing match and I got an A. It was a what? Self-extinguishing match. Oh my God. You got an A? I got an A. Oh? Was your teacher Helen Keller? Wow. Wow. That's brilliant. I thought mine was bad, but his is even worse. Ella B., what was yours? Mine was the night before the science fair. We had like an invention fair. I remembered. And it was about 9 o'clock at night. I was in sixth grade. I shouldn't have been up that late. And I just started messing with stuff around the kitchen. And for some reason, I took a trash bag, like a kitchen trash bag, and just cut. the top or the bottom part off of it the top part off of it uh-huh and so it was like a strip almost like those bands that you get when you go to like the physical therapist or something right it was all circular yeah and it was before i saw those tension bands and so i slipped my hands in put it around both hands and just pulled out yeah as if you know i was trying to break yes trying to exactly i called it the stretcher and i wrote the stretcher
with permanent marker on the white plastic bag. And I put the demo on in class and I was like, you see, you stretch it like this. And I said it helped build up your arm muscles. What did your teacher? My teacher, she already didn't like me. She gave out detentions if you didn't cover your book. Or if she would shake your binder if anything fell out, she'd call it stuffola. So I already had like a dozen detentions from the teacher. Stuffola? And so I came in and did that, and I was like, it's a stretcher, you see? You stretch. And some of the boys were like, oh, yeah. She just looked down her nose like. You lazy crap head. My sister had been in the same class about. Three years before me, same teacher. And also, I think, forgot to do hers. Hers was actually pretty good. She took a sponge and cut out the sponge and put a bar of soap inside. Oh, I like that. Yeah. That's good. And so hers was, like, renowned for being, like, really good. And then I came with the stretcher. The stretcher. A piece of a hefty bag. Yeah, hefty bag. A white hefty bag. See? Watch. Look, it builds up.
And then by the time I had demonstrated enough, it was actually like losing its elasticity. Oh, my gosh. She looked at you like, who do you think I am? Yeah, who am I? Do I look like the stupidest teacher in the world? But I was like a little saleswoman, so I got a B-minus on it. Not bad. I did a pretty good write-up on it. Not bad. How about this one? I think the worst day was the day the science project was due. Waking up that morning. That was fun, huh? Your head would pop off your pillow. Oh, no. That's due today. I had nine months to work on, and I did nothing. I'm a cardboard box. I don't know what to do for my project, so I brought in a paper cup filled with dirt, just hoping she'd know I'm an idiot and just walk right on past me. As long as I was holding something. What do you have there, Brian? It's a cup of dirt. Just put an F on there and let me go. Well, explain it. Well, it's a cup with dirt in it. I call it cup of dirt. You should move on now. You should go ahead and move on. Head on down the line there. Oh, that's awesome. M1 Starla from La Jolla, are you there? Yeah. What did you turn in? Well, it was...
In fifth grade, and I procrastinated way too long. I designed an automatic hand raiser. Originally, in my head, it was going to have spring action and everything. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We need to stop. An automatic hand raiser, you mean to get rid of that awfully... No, no. Pop your hand up. Right. I mean, automatic hand raiser. But the purpose of the automatic hand raiser was so that people wouldn't have to mess with the already difficult raising of the hand. Right. Well, it would go up faster and then it wouldn't get sore when the teacher never calls on you. Yeah. Got it. Got it. All the way in. Got it. So what did you do? Well, like in that joke, I woke up that morning and I didn't make my hand raiser. So I took a light glove and I filled it up with cotton balls. And I stuck it on top of a plunger and put it on my desk. Oh, wow. And what was that? Oh, wow. Was that a hand raiser?
That was my hand raiser, and it was the first time my mom ever came to a parents' night, and she was not proud. Oh, my gosh. That's freaking brilliant. So I'm sure it was a brand-new plunger, never been shoved into your toilet. Oh, yeah. It's great. I have access to money and groceries. Yeah, right. Covered in feces. A feces plunger with a cotton glove. Take it to the top. That's my daughter. That's a lumpy hand. Let's do it for Starla. Good job, Starla. That's a strong C-minus. Wow. Good job. That's incredible. I think that's what I got. Oh, my gosh. C-minus. Thank you, Starla. M1DD from Poway, are you there? Yes. What did you do? So I had to do a project for my junior high science fair. So as usual, I just lagged and waited until last minute. So the night before, I decided to do a project with bread molds. So what I did was that I got green eyeshadows. And just started coloring on it. On bread? Make your own mold. I even took Polaroid paint day one, day two. Oh my gosh. Oh wow. You're brilliant. I did something like that for sure. I did this really nice display and everything, you know. And I actually got an A. Oh my gosh. Hilarious. Oh my gosh. And you did it on like what? Wonder Bread?
Yeah, just regular white bread. That's incredible. You get an A for being resourceful. Thank you. Day one, day two, a little more eyeshadow, a little more eyeshadow, a little more eyeshadow. I might let the kids score good if they were ingenious. Yeah. Because that's not cheating or anything. They're using their head. Yeah. Is that cheating? It's a different method. It's a different method. That's brilliant. Let's see. We have M1 Garrett. Garrett from Oceanside Online. Are you there, Garrett? Yeah. What did you do? Bug report do where you got to collect them to the board and everything. I was driving around and I met one of the other elementary schools and I pulled mine out of the dumpster of theirs. That's right. Turned it in. That's badass. You just won the lottery. Yeah. That is the lottery. Wow. That's incredible. I even took two or three of them and pulled all the cool bugs off of them and stuck it to mine. It was good. That bug project, you have to find all the bugs. That's why they give you nine months. You have to go to different places to find these special bugs. It's a nightmare. I had to do a leaf report where I had to go all over the county and get stupid leaves. What a beating! Good lord, why? I'm not going to be a...
Leaf collector. A botanist. A botanist. Gosh. We have to do mission reports and all these things. That's the worst. Maybe teach kids how to balance a checkbook. Never learned that. Dude, seriously. Never learned it. Still don't know how to do it. Maybe teach kids how to be good parents. Maybe teach kids how to invest. Maybe teach kids about the stock market. I could spot an oak tree or a eucalyptus from a mile away. Yeah, exactly. I feel like that's definitely more useful. I'll tell you this. When we go to Legoland now, we just observe. You just call it every day. Weekly. We observe other parents, and I always ask Rebecca, would you say blah, blah, blah to our kids? And she thinks about it, and she's like, maybe. Because I hear it, and I'm like, I wonder if we would ever do that. You're walking through Legoland, and you hear some lady say to her kid, knock it off. You're acting like you're two. Why don't you grow up? Oh, boy. And I'm like, ooh, harsh. Hey, pal. Come to Little League Field one night. Really? You have never heard such things. From the dads, right? Yeah. The other day I was warming my team up by the cages. Yeah. And the younger team, like probably eight, nine-year-olds, were warming up and they were getting ready to practice. And their coach, who was this big, bald dude, came out and he grabbed one of the kids.
I think it was his son. I think it was. But he goes, now you listen to me. You're acting like a little a-hole. But he said it. He said it. He goes, you're getting so obnoxious and ridiculous. People aren't even going to want to be around you. Nobody on this team likes you. You are a little jerk. And you're acting like a little jerk. I'm literally five feet away. And my mouth is doing exactly what yours was doing. I'm like... He's nine. He's nine. He's nine. He's nine. He's nine. And that kid just looked at him like. That's when you pat the kid on the back and say, you're doing a good job. You're doing a good job. Yeah. Dude. You got to carry B-Different bands with you. I was thinking about giving them to my kids. Dude. You've never seen anything like that. It's insane. I see parents say some trippy stuff. Come watch one game. You'll be like, oh, wow. Oh, boy. You're acting like a. D. Yeah, you little D-head. You realize you're not talking to your roommate. That's a kid. That's a little kid. Speaking of grown-up, yeah, I always say that we're all grown-up little kids. Yep. Woods and Jay went golfing together yesterday. What do you clowns do? Well, what didn't we do? Yeah, that's a better question. Woods was out interviewing people about the CBA.
Of all places, you're supposed to have etiquette. It's the golf course. Right. Dress up. That is true. You are supposed to. We did dress up. It's a gentleman's sport. It is. Yeah, there were no gentlemen in our foursome. Nope. Woods and Jay. Who was driving? Jay? I drove most of the time. And Woods had a recorder in his hand. Correct. Once we got on the course, I don't like golf that much. I got kind of bored. And I had my recorder, so I was like, well, I'll do some bits while I'm at it. See if anything comes of it. Yeah, something came of it. How fast did the golf carts go? Gosh, they must go like 20-something. Yeah, probably 15 to 20. And we were heading down the fairway, so a little bit downhill. Were you guys fighting the torrential downpour? No, it wasn't bad. We got pretty lucky. How fast were we driving? I was full speed. Pedaled to the middle. Pegged and down the hill. So it had picked up speed. Oh, yeah. We were moving. And Jay decides to crank the steering wheel. To knock Woods out of the cart. Woods had thrown it out that he was going to do it to me. No. What? At the end of the show yesterday, I'm going to flip you out of the cart. That's what you said. Do you have Alzheimer's? I did. I think you have Alzheimer's. You did say that. You did. Oh, I did. Okay. I'm the one who can't remember things. You did. Oh, you're 100 years old. Older than that. So he does this and Woods goes flying. And I would not believe. You wouldn't believe it.
You wouldn't believe it. It kind of scared me as I did it because I didn't think I was going as fast as I was. Oh, my God. It was hard, hard. Train wreck. One hit first. Okay, I'm going to show you and you can describe. Okay. Jay's on my left. Yep. I've got the recorder in my right hand. Okay. There's a black metal bar. Hello, baby. And I'm hanging on to the bar with this hand and the recorder with this hand. Why are you recording? I'm doing Charlie Sheen. He's doing bits. Why is the recorder just on? I'm doing bits while we're driving. I had just done a bit where I'm like. Okay, now up to the ball steps Jay Isabel, and he swings like the guy from Gran Torino would swing. Right. Because he does. Right. And so I'm doing the whole walkthrough. Well, like a 90-year-old man. We use mine more than we use yours. Yeah, we did. So I'm driving, or Jay's driving, and I'm holding, I'm doing my bit, and you'll hear it out of nowhere. You ready? Gonzo. Oh, boy. Real quick, listen for the sound of the recorder bouncing on the grass.
Is that your recorder, Mike? Yes. So, our foursome is not winning. Duh. Some bad words in there? Is it running? It's still running. Dude. I think I'm done. I think I may have heard him. I think I'm done. Were you worried, Jay? Jay just pitched me out of the cart as fast, and I... This girl is laughing at you. Oh. I think I'm going to take it to the house. Sorry. I think I'm going to take it to the house. We got it on tape. Hurt sadness fear? Any? No. No? I was dying laughing. No, he was dying laughing. I got up. I had grass all over me. I had a black fleece on covered in grass. And when I hit, I hit face down and rolled. I rolled what?
Five, six times? Five, six times. End over end one time. Dude, hard, hard. I want to hear it again. Just that impact. So, our foursome is not winning. Duh. Whoa! It's my favorite. Listen to the tumble of the recorder. So, our foursome is not winning. Duh. Whoa! You can hear the individual blades of glass crash. Well, easy, Jay. Yeah. So, our foursome is not winning. Duh. Easy, Fonzie. The guys behind us pulled up and they were like, oh, my gosh. His legs were red on both sides. Oh, yeah. Let me see if I still have grass burns. I had grass burns up and down my leg. Oh, my gosh. It was in. And I looked at Jay and I go.
Tipped my cap. Yeah. Tipped my cap. That was brilliant. You're going to get it, Jay. No. He said no. No. Really? It was too good. It was too good. And so you guys were just also walking in on each other to go to the bathroom yesterday? Oh, no. No, no. No, no. That's another story. Jay decides to pull his wiener out and go pee-pee. On my side of the cart. On his side of the cart. Still, Jay. He walks around. He walks around. Okay, here we go. Wait, do not blame Woods. No, I'm doing it. It's typical. When you're going to go and you're out in the middle of nowhere. When you've had 15 beers. When you're out in the middle of nowhere. Yes, it's typical. You've never gone on the course. Yeah, I go in the woods. There's no woods. There's woods everywhere. Wait, wait, wait. To his defense, when he says he goes in the woods, he means himself. Myself. I know myself. There were no really trees where you could go. So we're out in the course. I've been waiting for a while. There was a ton of trees. So I go, I'm going to go to the back. I'm going to go. Do you have a cart? Why don't you go to the facilities? So I stand there and I'm doing it. And he walks around. He's on the phone. He walks around and goes. And he just stares. He's like, well, I guess I've seen it all now. And he looks at it.
I couldn't believe it. He looks at it. Why are you looking at it? Dude, it's like seeing a car wreck. I go, dude, you're peeing. He didn't make eye contact. He went right to Mr. Johnson. What? And then it was a long, lingering look. Yeah. Yeah. It was a long. It was a long. It was a long. It was a long. It was a long. It was a long. It was a long. It was a long. It was a long. It was a long. Hopefully you're still with us after hearing how fascinated and obsessed Woods is with Jay's piece. Really? Did you take a picture of it? No, I did not. Sounds like you had time to. Did you tweet pic? Tweet pic. My camera's too small. Sienna, what's going on in the news? I know, right? How do I recover? How do you follow that? How do I recover? Top that. Good luck.
Jay's scheming in there. Yeah, it's going to be ugly. It already was ugly. I got thrown out of a golf cart. Michelangelo's statue of David is, speaking of. Yep. Now I can't recover. Oh, wow. Right now, the statue of David is at risk of being just... Mike is posing. Enormous. Huge. It's at risk right now because they're doing some construction near where David's sculpture is. And apparently, well, since the sculpture is so old, there's a bunch of little cracks by his ankles and stuff. And so they want to move this statue. Sounds familiar. I got the same thing. They want to move the statue of David away from the construction zone and bring it back later. But because of all the hammering and everything that's going on, all the vibrations. If you can't move, it'll break.
That's what they're afraid of soon to happen. They think the vibrations of the construction nearby is going to cause it to be ruined. So they're going to try and save it. Yeah, so I hope that David is okay. Also, this is pretty crazy. A California couple, they live in Fullerton. We're getting married. And the groom got really, really sick. He got some sort of a... Where is it? A lung problem and had to actually go to the hospital. And they were flying in, family members from Korea. And everyone was in town for this wedding. And he actually married his bride via Skype. She stood alone at the altar in Fullerton in front of a whole church of all their guests. And he was so sick. He was going to be fine, but he couldn't get everyone else sick. Why didn't they just cross plane? Because everyone had flown in from Korea and everywhere. Happy birthday, everyone else. I thought that was amazing. Yeah. What? The hell of you? I wouldn't do it. What would you do? I would maybe, like, party with all the family members that came in and then do our own little ceremony afterwards. Yeah. Yeah, he had a lung infection. Wedding's not for everyone else. It's for you. But he's... So you're saying that you would have... I would go entertain the guests and everything. I don't think... In Korea, it's different. I think they would want to see the actual vows and it's a big deal and traditional, you know? Wait a minute.
I've been to a lot of Korean weddings, and Sienna is right. I've been to one, and it wasn't that way. Wait a minute. There's no Skyping. Maybe just make a thing. Lauren, you're saying you would not postpone your wedding if you were sick with lung infection. No, I would. You would. And if everyone was already flying in and stuff, I'd be like, all right, well, let's visit. But you couldn't visit because you were sick. Until I'm better? No, I mean if I were the bride. Yeah, if you were the bride. You'd say, let's visit until I'm better? How can you visit? If I were the bride in that situation. and the groom-to-be was laid up, and he didn't want to get everyone else sick, I would still go entertain the guests that came in town and do our own little thing, but then I'd have a ceremony later. After they left? Yeah. That makes sense. Instead of doing it on Skype, yeah. That makes sense. I mean, it's sad. It's sad because your family wouldn't be there when you took your vows. Yeah, and I'm sure. That'd make you sad, right? Yeah. I would be sad. Maybe do both. Maybe do both. Yeah. What's going on, sports? Well, if you are stoked to watch San Diego State, the Aztecs play Utah on Thursday in the Mountain West Conference Tournament, you must have Cox Cable or DirecTV or find somebody that does. So they are going to simulcast the game on Channel 4 San Diego, but there's a giant caveat. It's only going to be available for Cox Cable customers. So if you don't have Cox Cable, read about it on the Internet, man. It's the same bit with...
The Padres. Yeah, I'm bummed because I have U-verse now and I can't watch Padre games. So I'm probably going to have to watch them on my laptop, but I'll probably be blacked out. So perfect. And if you didn't hear earlier, yesterday San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders and Chargers President Dean Spanos did meet yesterday. They're talking about the new stadium for the Chargers that is... being proposed, it's going to be about $950 million. And they're looking for ways to raise that money. Mikey earlier suggested a bake sale. I thought we may do a Mikey Show car wash. You know, if you guys would be in on that. Maybe a Mikey Show garage sale. We can get rid of some stuff in here. We'll do our part. So know that, guys, coming in. If you have a bake sale, I'm in. I have a difficult time watching TV shows that are about, you know, crime, things like that. But there's a new channel on satellite called the CI channel, the Criminal Investigation Channel. So yesterday, so yes, and basically what I do if I'm looking for something to watch on TV, I just look for anything in high definition. Yeah. If it isn't in high definition, I don't even want to see it. Really?
Because it looks blurry. Looks like you need glasses compared to HD. So I come across this show. And it's talking about a story that happened in 1984 that I don't remember. But there was a girl that was practicing to be in the Olympics. She was going to be a runner in the Olympics. And foolishly decides that she's going to go and practice for this run in the woods. And there's a trail and everything, but that's just a bad idea, in my opinion, to go by yourself in an area that isn't very well populated and go running. So she does. She gets abducted by mountain men. This is a guy that lives out in the woods with his son. They just live in the woods. And they decide that it's time for him.
To have a wife. Oh, my gosh. Holy cow. Now, they take her and they only have her for a couple of hours before some hunters spot them because she's screaming. So these hunters notice, like, what is going on? And they've got rifles, but so do these mountain men. Oh, my gosh. And so they have her chained to a tree. And by the way. They're telling the story. The narrative comes from both people that were involved, but the narrative also comes from testimony that these now arrested and imprisoned mountain men have given. Okay. Fascinating. Their actual voices. It isn't their actual voices. It's their testimony. It's the things that they've said. Sure. They apparently had this chain for six years and we're waiting for six years.
For such an opportunity to present itself. What? Wow. They were waiting for six years. Maybe go to a singles bar. Maybe. Let me try that. Match.com. Something. Mountainmen.com. Something. So again, father and son looking for a bride for the son. Wow. So they have this girl for less than two hours. She's chained to a tree. She's screaming. Two hunters hear it. They're not really sure what to do, but they know that they have to help. So they jump out and they've got their guns drawn and they say, we have you surrounded. That was their plan. We've got you surrounded. And the girl says, you guys are crazy. Stop it. You know, they've got guns and she's afraid for them, even though they're armed, even though they're armed. The father doesn't hesitate. shoots the guy in the face, one of them. One of them. And the other guy's like, holy cow, and books it out of there. Wow. Immediately goes to the authorities, shaking, trembling, and says, this is what I just saw, and this is what just happened. Now, during this standoff, where the two of them have their guns, or the four of them have their guns raised at one another, the father says to the son, mountain man,
He says, get your woman under control because she's screaming. And the kid is kind of, he's about 20 years old. He's kind of scared. He doesn't really want this. And he turns and in his fear, the gun discharges and shoots the girl in the shoulder. In the shoulder. Okay. So this guy gets back into town. He tells the authorities, you got to help. He's shaking. He says, my friend was just killed. These two mountain dudes have this girl and she got shot. So the sheriff goes, holy cow. They get in a helicopter and he says, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. He says, I know basically where they are, but it's still a needle in a haystack. We're looking through trees. We can't see anything. Oh my gosh. But they look out and they find a needle in a haystack and they see a body.
They land the helicopter, they run over there, but it's just a still body by that time. But when they get to her, she's still alive. So they get her wrapped up, they get her into the helicopter, and they fly out of there. You guys, this is an hour-long show. What I've just described to you, that was just the first five minutes of the show. The rest of the show was about trying to get these guys, because they split. And they went into the woods and they know this area. So the local sheriff, he calls in the outlying authorities and the FBI. It's national news. It's everywhere that they're looking for these mountain men in Montana. The search goes on. The search goes on. They can't find him. So finally, the FBI goes, we're spending too much money. We think these guys are gone. And so they bail.
And then the outlying authorities go, we're spending too much money, too. We think they're gone and they bail. So the only people left are like for a sheriff and four deputies from the local town. And they're like, I'm not giving up. We're going to keep looking for these monsters. So they're going out on horseback through these hills and through the testimony of the now arrested mountain men. At one point. They came upon them. And as they were looking for them, they're staying still because they don't want to move so that they know where they are. And they're getting closer and they're getting closer and they're getting closer. And the mountain man has a scope. And he's like, if this is the way it's got to go, this is the way it's got to go. He has the sheriff in his crosshairs. He's got it on his head. And the sheriff is now telling the story. He says.
Found out that he had me in his crosshairs. He had my head in his crosshairs. And the only reason that he didn't pull the trigger was because he wasn't positive that that sheriff had more people with him. If he knew he was alone, he'd have popped them. But he didn't know. And he thought, if I kill this guy and there's more people with him, we're dead. They'll find us. So he didn't shoot. It was another three to four months of looking. That was the best and closest they got to them. But three or four months later, it started to get cold in Montana. So these guys have to come down in elevation because it's getting colder and snowing and they're starting to get hungry. And they're eating squirrels. They're eating squirrels. Raw. Probably couldn't have a fire. Yeah. Couldn't make a fire. Holy cow. So finally, now this is towards the end of the show, Sheriff is like obsessed. I thought they should make a movie out of this. Oh, yeah. Sheriff's obsessed. He will not stop. He's trying to find these guys. He won't stop. He's always got his radio on, basically sleeps with his scanner on just in case something happens. Well, this one day, it's kind of all caught up to him. And he's like, I got to tune out of this crap. And he turns this.
Radio off. He's like, I can't deal with it. The day that he turns his radio off, this guy is out hunting for elk. And he sees that these two clowns have come down far enough that they've been able to light a fire. And he sees smoke. And he actually stumbles upon them. And they pull their guns. But he pretends like, hey, I don't know anything. I'm just out here. Can I help you guys? Did he know? He knew exactly who they were. Okay, perfect. But he pretended like, you know. Oh, my bad. Yeah, yeah, sorry, guys. And the kid, the younger, the 20-year-old says, you want some squirrel soup? They were boiling squirrel in a pot. The guy goes, uh-uh, no, I'm good, I'm good. Just had a big knock. Yeah, I'm fine, fine, thanks. Got some chunky soup here. Sure got a pretty mouth. That's right. So he leaves, and he calls the sheriff.
And they're calling for the sheriff on the radio, but he turned the radio off. Come on, dude. Stop. He turned the radio off. That day. That day. It was too much for him. It was driving his life crazy. So he was like, I have to get away from this. Consuming him. One day. Like me and Eclairs. Yes. Exactly. And so he finally is able to get a hold. They're able to get a hold of the sheriff. And the sheriff says he feels like all of the blood in his body. drains from him like holy crap somebody has seen them they drive out there it's in the snow these guys have started you know trying to get away and they can track them through the snow but they know that they have rifles all of the dudes that he has with him he's got three guys with him they don't want to go they're afraid they're gonna get shot so he goes screw it i'll go by myself and he gets on a snowmobile oh my gosh and he starts going out there finally
He gets to a point where the snowmobile won't go any further, but the tracks still go and he could follow him. So he starts following them with a rifle. Oh my gosh. Come on. He gets into the forest and he sees him and he's like, he's 20 feet from him. He goes, what do I do? It's me and two of them. He's like, I get to the point where I'm either fight or flight. I'm either going to retreat or I'm going to do something. He pulls the same bit that the other guy did and he goes, he comes out. raises his rifle and he goes, excuse me, guys. And they turn around instantly guns up. But the kid didn't have a weapon. The only one that did was a father. So the two of them are facing each other with rifles on each other. And the guy in a split second makes a decision. I'm going to point my gun at his son. So now he's got a gun on his son. And he says, don't do this. Your kid's got a long life. Don't make me shoot your son.
That's what got the guy. Oh, my gosh. The guy put his weapon down. This guy made a split-second decision. I'm going to point the gun at his son. And he still had to cuff them. He still had to cuff them. So he says, he turns his walkie-talkie on, helicopter, you can hear the helicopter coming overhead, and he goes, I got two guys that I think need a ride. And he said that, the two of them started crying. Helicopter lands, handcuff him, put him in. that girl went on to win a gold medal. She went on to win a gold medal in Canada. One of the most incredible stories I've ever seen. It's one of the best stories I've ever heard in my life. It was insane. It was insane. And they showed, because through the whole thing, they're doing reenactments, so they're using these actors who are tremendous, even showing what they did. But then they show the real dudes, man, in court.
And they had shaved them, cut their hair to make them look normal. But when they were out there, he said they looked filthy. Hideous. Hideous. Yeah. I mean, they looked like disgusting. They would be dumb not to make a movie about that. Oh, yeah. How have they not? It's been 25 years. It's been 25 years. That girl goes on to win a gold medal. I mean, it was just insane. Yet Bieber has a movie. Yeah, but Bieber's in 3D. In 3D. That's right. Holy. Wow. That's awesome. You know, talk about a dilemma for somebody. We got to tell you that there's a father who says that when this guy gets out of jail, because they're going to let this guy out of jail, that has wronged this guy. He has flat out said, I'm going to kill him. Wow. Now, what do you do if you're the authorities? We'll tell you why and the circumstances next. Welcome back. So if you did not tune in earlier, you missed.
Tyson tunes. I turned the microphone off. Turned the microphones off. We went into commercial break and I said, that may be the worst bit that I've ever come up with. They can't all be winners. You know, they just can't. Well, they don't have to all be such losers. Yeah. That was the worst bit. In 23 years? 24. Yeah, Wood said, I'm trying to think, have we done anything worse than that? And you said, oh no, I mean, ever. Ever. Ever put on mic. Voiced Mike Tyson's voice and read poetry. Song. Yeah. Song lyric. Song lyric. I played the bongos. I might have added to the. Hey, you know what? Boardroom idea. I call it. I call those boardroom ideas. What it means is when you're in the boardroom. Sounds funny.
You know, I think you never really know how things will go over on the air until you do them on the air. You just never do. I pitched you the Mikey Show Haiku. You laughed at me. So you're going to use an example right now. Of something that worked. Of something that you came up with that worked. Oh, I've had some turds. Believe you me, my friend. I've had plenty of turds. Kind of like my Tiger Blood jingle. I loved your Tiger Blood jingle. Mikey. Did not. Did not. I did like it. He acted like it didn't exist. That's fair enough. That's fair enough. But I really did enjoy it. No, you know, don't give me a pity point. I wrote a parody one time for LLB, and we only played it one time. What was it? It was Vegan Girl. I wrote a parody about you and Mike's romance, and it really didn't get played either. My kombucha one got played once. I've come up with some that got played once. We've all written our fair share of the turrets. I don't think that the lay were turrets. The what? I don't think a lot of them are turrets. I just think they don't get played. We should do the Amazing Race Mikey Show edition. Maybe you write it and then we'll do it. Yeah. Oh, wait. It's already been written. Why did we not do that? We just didn't do it. You hated it and me. We all come up with a lot of ideas for our show and, you know, some don't, you know.
Pass. Some end up on the cutting room floor. Bro, you got to know that you have to remember times when I've come in with eight ideas and gone 0 for 8 and been like, wow, I don't know if I can do this job. Like, it's just some things sound really good. Well, the point is we all okayed the Tyson. We were like, yeah, that's funny. The Tyson thing. I wasn't there. And then when it happened live, it just. Yeah, it just wasn't. It didn't have the get up and go. It happens. We should probably. Maybe replay it tomorrow just to show people how bad and maybe laugh at it again. I think that would be funny. I think it'd be funny. It might make people's radios catch on fire. It might explode. Yeah. It was that bad. You actually set the benchmark for the Tyson. You said in the break, hey, listen, if there's ever any bad ideas and maybe we'll just say, we got Tyson tunes bit. Yeah. That's going to be the new benchmark. If any bad ideas ever come up from this point. Tyson tunes real good? That's a Tyson. Oh, easy Tyson tunes. Easy Tyson tunes. Sure, I'm glad it was my idea. Me too. We've all been there. I'm actually glad it was your idea, not ours. Yeah. Yeah. That was a rough three days. At least you didn't spend two hours producing it, and then have everybody hate it. We didn't produce Amazing Race. No, Tiger Blood. Oh.
Did you really spend two hours on that? Yeah. Remember I texted you the night before? That's right. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. Where's Tiger Boy? I have to reload it. It's in the library. My kid had told him to throw it in the car. Yeah. It burns it. Jay, make sure that never, ever gets on the air again. Go reload. No, please don't. No, no, no. Go reload. In a minute, we're going to break. Please don't. Sorry. Go reload. Jay, I'm your assistant producer. I want... I may not have given Tiger's Blood a good chance. I played it twice. The first time you played it, you cut off the ending and acted like it didn't exist and started talking and then didn't say anything about it. And the second time you played it, you had a look of disdain on your face. It's probably about me. It's okay. We all can't do everything right. Yeah. And I didn't give it a chance. You did. It's okay. It's okay that you didn't like it. I didn't. The first time that we played it, I cut it off. I didn't, and that was a mistake. Because you hated it. No. It's okay. It was a mistake. The second time, I was phased out a little. You know what? We had a live audience that day. That's true. And so we don't really get a chance to talk about it. It was a weird day, right? You can't play it now, though.
You realize that because if you laugh at it, she's going to be like, liar, patronizer. It's done. Don't fall for the trap. It's a trap. Is she chopping? There's a big piece of cheese. I'm just lumping them together. Tyson tunes, Tiger Blood. And I'm just saying at least with Tyson tunes, you didn't spend over two hours producing. Correct. And at least you'll never try to do that again. Right. So there's a dad. That says he'll murder his son's killer. Oh, I have to hear it. No. I have to. Listen to it on the break. You're going to hurt my feelings if you play it. Why? Because. Why? Because I don't want you to patronize. Patronize. She does not like to be patronized. I tried it once. What if I don't laugh? Once. Then that'll be salt in the wound. Yeah. Insult to injury. Listen to it on your iPod. Fast forward the tape. Fast forward the tape. Doesn't go well. Doesn't go well, Mike. No, that's true. It's not about why this, it's about what next. Is that what I mean? There's no good reaction. That is true. There is no good that can come of playing Tiger Toons. None. It's not even called that. It's called Tiger's Blood. Tiger's Blood. You're Tyson Toons. Maybe we don't do things that are T and T from now on. That must be the problem. It's the T squared. No, it's TB. Oh, that's right. Right. Technically one word if you go by Charlie Sheen's dance. Fair enough. All right.
So, um, Mike teased this before commercial break and I just thought I'd fill you in. There is a father of a five-year-old boy. Now, this five-year-old was killed back in 1975. Really, really awful thing. The killer, they didn't know who he was until 1982, seven years later. Then he pleaded guilty to second-degree murder in 83 and was sentenced to 40 years in jail. they found this man's journal, which detailed the gruesome killing. I mean, it was the worst of the worst for a five-year-old little boy. And this father has now said when the killer is released, because he was supposed to have 40 years in jail, he's going to be released 12 years earlier than expected. So he's going to be out soon. And this father has said... Quote, I do intend if this man is released anywhere in my vicinity or if I can find him after the fact, I do intend to kill this man. And this is a story out right now because. Now, they're, I mean, that's serious because like now the authorities are like, what do we do? If they let the guy out and that guy kills him, then the authorities can get in trouble because they heard it and didn't do anything. Can he get arrested for making that kind of threat? Yeah.
I mean, they're saying, you know, the guy served his time. He went to jail. Did he? Yeah. No, I mean, I'm sorry. Don't blame the father. No. Me neither. I wouldn't have said anything. Yeah, that's the deal. The guy just falls off the map and no one cares. Yep. Now, the journal that was found by the killer, as part of the plea deal, the family did not hear the details. But the father believes there was some cannibalism involved because they found some bones. Dead man. You just think as a father to a five-year-old child that that happens to. Oh, my gosh. That guy doesn't live. Yeah. I'm not a big... That guy lives in jail for the rest of his life, dies there. Yeah, I know that you're not supposed to be vengeful and stuff, but that would be really hard. That's a whole other level. It would be really hard not to. Oh, my. You're never supposed to take the law in your own hands, and I know all that, but... This happened in Rhode Island. I think I would sleep better at night knowing that that guy wasn't around anymore. That's just me. Yeah. It's tough, though. How do you get over something like that? You don't. And then you know that he's going to be a free man walking the street. And possibly do it to somebody else. Yeah, and the reason he was caught seven years later is because he tried to do it to another little boy. Oh, my gosh. And that's how they found him. How do you possibly let that guy out? Why is he getting out of jail? That's a great question. Oh, that's depressing. Isn't that depressing? Depressing. Well, we'll see what happens. Sick world. 570-1949 is our number. We have new releases.
What do we got? We have got the new... I'm not saying this. How do I say that? I'm not saying it. Bruce Cockburn. Oh, boy. I wasn't going to say it because I'd be told. Do you know who that is? Yeah, I've heard his name. He wears a cape. I love it. I'm just kidding. Don't look at me like that. L-O-B, how dare you? It's just fake dancing. It's like something you listen to at the club. Yes. No. It sounds like Fraggle Rock. Yeah. Sarah Evans' new record, Stronger, is out. Oh, I like her. Is she country? Yeah. Sounds good. I ain't mad at her. She's really pretty. I think that music is sweet. It is sweet. Avril Lavigne, Goodbye Lullaby. That'll be on Bumper Music tomorrow. All the way in. She was performing it this morning.
Her hair was purple and green. She's a rebel. I like it. I like it. Not ashamed either. Maybe run that back. I'm ashamed. Maybe run it back. I like it. I'm ashamed. Maybe run it back. How is she not farting? She's sexy. That's why. She's not farting. She's not farting. She would burp so loud and then blow at your face. No. Not anymore. Her hair's purple and green. She would have back in the SK. The number eight TR boy. D-A-Y-Z. Yeah, she would have back then. K-Y-Z. She's a grown woman now. With purple hair? With green and purple hair. It's disgusting. I need attention. I'm so cool. I like some of her stuff, but that song's not good. I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes. You know that it doesn't. Oh, B. What? What is wrong with you? Because purple and green. Why are you responding to it? Purple and green. Come on. Okay, the new Lupe Fiasco album is out. It's called Lasers. I like him. I like him. I've never heard of Lupe Fiasco. Yes, you have. I haven't. You've heard his song. I haven't. I like it, though. Never heard of it either. Like a little bit acony. Mickey Avalon. No.
Raekwon, Shaolin versus Wu-Tang. I love it. It's brilliant. And the new REM, Collapse Into Now, is out today. Oh. Shiny, happy people holding hands. Seriously. Oh, boy. Hello, I saw you, I lost myself. I know you thought it was someone else. Losing my religion. The voice has aged a little bit. A little bit. Yeah, me too. Out on DVD today, Jackass in 3D. What do I have to do? Do I have to buy glasses? And get a 3D?
TV, I want to watch the movie. I think you do. I'm sure they don't have TV. G-I-T. Four Lions is out today, as is The Next Three Days with Russell Crowe. So look forward to that. Never heard of it. Anything else? Nope. Perfect. Some actual good news. Big drop in a number of something that affects your kids. And this is good news. We'll tell you next. What's the name of this song? Satisfied. By the war. The war. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is... Elvis Costello! That was a little too much. Elvis Costello. There you go. Armed Forces. That's the name of the album. Hey, got another FM 94.9 Big Bear trip planned. Yeah. Presented by Scion. You going, Jay? Yes, sir. Woodsy? Yep. You're in? Yep. March 25th.
Through the 27th. How about you ladies? Would you guys go? I will not. I'll be doing a Down Syndrome event on the 26th. There you go. How about you, Sienna? I'll be at home. Nice and warm. Come with us, Mike. Nope. Okay. I am afraid of breaking things. Okay. I am. I get too afraid I'm going to fall down. I would maybe go. I would maybe go. I'm thinking about it now. I won't ski. Did you guys hear that? Did you hear something about baby skis? No, no. I said the chairlifts were pretty strong. They won't break. How dare. How dare. Now I'm nervous about it. That's cruel. Now you're nervous? Now I'm nervous to go. You'll survive. It includes lift tickets for you and three of your friends, plus a room at Northwoods. It's nice. Yeah. You know how much? $200. So solid. That's sick. It's insane. Bring it 50 bucks each. Last time people were camped out. You want to go? I think I'm going to go now. Tell Adam. Adam, I'm going. You got to register online. This time, yeah. The crowd was too much outside. They lined up two days in advance. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Well, for that, dude, 200 bucks for that? Yep. That's pretty gnarly. How do they do that?
So this time they're going to do just all the details will be available tomorrow, but it sounds like they're going to register, put a bunch of people in a pile, and they're just going to pick names out to let them buy. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. Let's see. M1 Chris is on the line from Oceanside. What's up? Hey, I just want to give a little call in and shout out to the gear show, the Mikey show. Thank you. That would have been bad. Anyway, hey, don't beat yourself up about bits full and flat. Your creativity has been like seething for how long? It's amazing. One thing can fall flat. You thought Tyson didn't suck? Mikey, I'm talking to you. Thank you. Yeah, no, I was, you know, just considering. Soaking it in. Soaking it in. I mean, you know, I don't even think it fell flat, to be honest. I think you just beat yourself up too much. Oh, no. Oh, no. It was a giant turd. It was awful. It was a giant turd. There's nothing that's ever been worse than that.
You know, I was going to ask her to help me move a couch, but I had no question. Okay. Okay, on the golf field? Yeah, it's a golf course. Jay? Yeah. Commando, boxers, or briefs? Jay, I think, had boxer shorts on. Okay. I think. No, I didn't have any on. Oh, wow. There you go. Oh, wow. I knew it. Commando. Thank you, Chris. Old rock climber. Thank you, buddy. Love you, buddy. We love you. Love you guys. We'll see you. This text from M1Devildock says... Mikey, I was a part of Woods and Jay's golf foursome. Great guy. Great guy. Tim. I can tell you that Woods had an unusually long gaze going on while Jay was doing his thing. No. Thanks. It was a great time. Jay went wee-wee. Let's go potty. When he did, Woods.
I noticed that he was. I'll be blogging about the entire incident tonight, just FYI, in detail. Yeah, I'll be seeing my therapist about it. I'll be blogging in detail. Of course it'll be in detail. I'll draw a couple pictures. Because you had a long gaze. No, all you need for that is a split second. It's burned in my brain, his little pinchers. Oh, stop. His pincher fingers. See, that's why I know you got it wrong. I'm going to draw pictures. There will be a diagram on my blog tonight of Jay. Please don't. So you're going to take it out of your diary and just put it in your blog, right? Yeah. You're going to have to photocopy it. I'm going to have to blow the picture up I took by 50%, but we'll get it done. That makes you feel good. We'll get it done. All I know is that you had a very descriptive. Oh, yeah. Well, when you see something that I saw. I know. And the way that it was being done. You're like, what the hell is he doing? What, are you a farmer? Are you working at a milk factory? Leave the man alone. He didn't ask you to look. Since you're unfamiliar with the line. I'm not unfamiliar. Yeah, you are. It's as if you're blindfolded and you're walking on a football field going, I know exactly where the line is. I'm like, how can you? You're blindfolded. Yeah. So just be careful. Yeah, I'm just going to draw a picture.
for everybody. I'll put it in my blog. Can I do that? Can I do that? Yes. Okay. Consider it done. Actually, I may do a reenactment with something in my kitchen and have my wife take a picture of it. And I'll do it exactly. Done. That is done. It's done tonight. What did Jay do to you? First of all, he threw me out of the golf cart at 30 miles an hour. That's number one. Then he called me a homosexual. I never called you that. Our foursome is not winning. Duh. One more thing to say. Oh, boy. Who texted my wife, git? I did. He took my phone and texted my wife, git. And then he texted the guy I go riding mountain bikes with, and he said, I love you. What? That's not 100% true. What he did was, he texted your friend that had...
asked you to go bike riding. He wrote back to your friend on your phone and said, sounds good. I love you. But I'm the one being attacked here. Then he found Jay's wife in Jay's cell phone and he just texted her, get. My buddy texts me back. He goes, he said, what did he say exactly? Kim goes, what? What? I'm surprised that Woods didn't still have it and go, you heard what I said. You heard what I said? Jeff said back, he goes, I don't know what to say. I'm touched. Did you tell him that Woods did it? No, I just left it hanging like that. Sounds good. I love you. I'm touched. Thought I'd get the I love you back. Hey, Kim. What? What are you texting me back for? Don't you understand, woman? You should be getting right now. Hey, that was the payback. You're a tornado. That was the payback for getting thrown out of a moving off guard at 30 miles an hour. Talking about his piece on the radio? Yeah. I don't think that's fair. I didn't bring it up. Not in a complimentary way. I didn't bring it up. No, it's not bad. You did bring it up. I brought it back up off the air.
He put it in his freaking recap. In detail. He put it in his recap. And I didn't want to know. Oh, gosh. You have a right to know. It's your show. I just want to get all the details out. You have a right to know. You have a right to know. All right. Well, thank you. What a day. You just get roasted. Everyone has their own way of doing things, okay? Let's see. M1 Auker? Auker? Hello? It's Auker. Oscar. Oh, what the hell? Go ahead, Oscar. Hey, I just picked up my gift today, and I want to say thank you. I listen to you guys show every single day from beginning to end. Woo! And I just want to say thanks for the gift and the special... What do we give you? You gave me a pair of Anarchy sunglasses. Nice. Tickets to G-Love special sauce and the NASCAR carry.
There you go, bro. There you go. I even got the pleasure of meeting L.O.B. Yeah. But I originally got a picture, but it didn't save on my cell phone. Oh, no. She'll email you one later. All right. No? All right. I was wondering if I could get a picture with all you guys. Sure. Absolutely, bro. Anytime. Absolutely. All right. Well, thanks for the gift, and I really love your show, man. Thank you, bro. We love you. I love you. Thank you, dude. Nice meeting you. Nice meeting you, too. Thanks. All right. All right. Oh, my gosh. He was so nice. He was, like, extra nice. I love him. Let's see. Hillary. Yeah. What do you got coming up? Hi, guys. How are you? Well, I grabbed a bunch of CDs, Dinosaur Junior and Pinback and the New Strokes and Cage the Elephant. But then I walked into the studio, and there's all these mics set up and, like, chairs and all this stuff.
I ran into Jeremy and he told me that Everest, they're doing their final night at the Casbah tonight. So they are coming back and they're going to perform on Tommy's show again. They've done it four Tuesdays in a row and live on Tommy's show. So I'm going to play something from Everest in just a minute. That's right. It's on. It's so on. There you go. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll come back tomorrow at six and do it again. The Mikey Show's out late.