The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/11/10
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Thursday March 11, 2010
Lauren gives up on the Tee shirt self-challenge. Corey Feldman talks about Corey Haim’s untimely death which prompts Mikey to tell of his story of trying to overdose on Dristan as a troubled youth. Sienna gives us one more reason not to eat at Sushi joints. Chewy stops by to brag about the new richest man in the world. Woods and Mikey mull over the possibility of T.O. coming to the Chargers. An emailer has a hot girlfriend but her arms are hairier than Sasquatch, what to do? Mikey has bizarre experience driving on the freeway with girl showing him a sign, and Jay admits he’s “seen Katie Couric’s colon”! Would You Rather is followed up with things your significant other does that you’re not comfortable with and Woodsie tells us how to schmooze your way into an angry complaint call. Michael Jackson comes back from the grave to defend his wild spending habits as revealed by his former bodyguards. Tickle fight! Frankie goes wild for Woods, and Mikey introduces him to MC Mel-Dog. The Jersey princess tries to woo the tough talkin’ New Yorker to no avail, which is rather puzzling since he claims he loves chicks, not dudes! M1’s call in with their opinions on guns in the home and Dylan from 90210 weighs in. Carrot cakes skeeves Woods out as he’s convinced it has crab meat in it, a hilarious argument follows. Susanna the intern stops in to explain her admiration for The Kid and tries the crab cake. Next are tips on how to avoid those pesky girl scouts pushing their cookies. Mikeyshow facebook page hits 7000 fans and continues to climb! Is there a double standard of hot female teachers deflowering young boys? Listen and decide. The gang gives their Alice in Wonderland movie reviews and Lauren tells the awkward incident with a creep hitting on her at the hospital which leads to weirdest places people pick to ask someone out. Jay had to fend off a horny coworker at an office party. This jam-packed show ends with Lauren singing over Sheryl Crow in the Kid Rock duet.
thermal undershirtcorey haim deathwhale sushifish with eyelashesbeamer girltickle fightsusanna retainerbaseball predictionshairy arms shallowmichael jackson bodyguardspatrick kennedy afghanistanalice in wonderland ratings
The show opened with Mikey joking about his thermal undershirt making him feel self‑conscious, followed by Steve Woods bantering about Yankees vs. Phillies. Later, the team debated the cause of Corey Haim’s death, discussed a scandal where L.A. sushi restaurants served whale meat, and laughed about a whole fish served with eyelashes and teeth. Other highlights included a viewer’s “Beamer Girl” sign, a proposed tickle fight, and intern Susanna’s retainer‑aided visit where she whittled furniture for Woods.
What happened, in order
Thermal Undershirt Intro
Mikey introduces himself while wearing a thermal undershirt, commenting on how it makes him feel self‑conscious.
Bachelorette Shirt Reveal
Sienna shows off her black‑and‑white baseball jersey shirt from her bachelorette party with her name on the back.
Corey Haim Death Debate
Jay announces Corey Haim’s death and the cast argues whether it was an overdose or needs more evidence before speculating.
Whale Sushi Scandal
The crew discusses two L.A. sushi restaurants serving endangered whale meat for a $600 omakase meal.
Smiling Fish Dinner
Mikey describes eating a whole snapper with eyelashes and teeth that looked like it was smiling, horrifying his wife.
Beamer Girl Encounter
While driving, Mikey sees a woman holding a "Beamer Girl" sign, flirting with his car.
Tickle Fight Proposal
Jay suggests a televised tickle fight, sparking a debate about oil, boundaries, and whether anyone will participate.
Susanna’s Retainer and Whittling
Intern Susanna appears with a retainer, helps Mikey with a Snickers, then whittles a table and knits a couch for Woods.
People mentioned
mikeysteve woodslauren o'briensiennajaycorey haimcorey feldmanlarry kinguncle chewycarlos slimbill gateswarren buffettgene simmonsrebecca
41,043 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
ABZT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Snuck right up on us. You can call us if you want to. We got open phone lines for you. Anything you want to talk about, 570-1949 or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. You can get a hold of us either way. Let me introduce the show to you. My name is Mikey. I'm 39 years old and wearing a thermal undershirt. Is that what they call them? Thermal undershirts? I mean, is there another name for them besides thermal undershirt? It's a thermal. A thermal. A long sleeve thermal. Or a waffle shirt. A waffle shirt. All right. I'm wearing one of them. I like them. They keep me warm. It's just that I feel bad about myself when I first put them on. Why? Well, because they're very form fitting. And every time I put them on.
And I look in the mirror. I go, uh-oh. Well, that's not right, is it? Let's get a shirt on. And then all is well with the world. Steve Woods is our sports guy. And what do you got on today? What kind of T-shirt are you wearing there, buddy? I got a thermal shirt underneath my Foo Fighters T-shirt. Nice. Oh, you guys are matching. I didn't even notice. I doubled up on the Foo, too. I wore a Foo shirt yesterday. Yeah, you did. I didn't realize I was on my way. That's right. Big fan. And he's also a big fan of the Yankees because he grew up, his dad rooting for the Yankees. He's a Yankee fan. And the boo is coming from Lauren O'Brien because Lauren O'Brien, she grew up in Jersey. Who do you claim? Phillies. Yeah. How'd that work out for you last year? The year before it worked out pretty well. How'd it work out for you last year? In the World Series? Did you guys lose? That's right. You did. So you're from Jersey and you claim the Phillies. Yeah, from South Jersey. Awful.
Don't start this early. Is it real close to Philly? Yeah. Yeah. Like 15 miles where I was. Yeah. 15, 20. Lauren's 29 years of age. And she is, her boyfriend's name is Matt. And Matt is a super gentle guy. Very nice. Gentle giant. That's a good way to put it. He's a very gentle guy. Lauren is known. For being a very quiet, reserved gal who likes to eat healthy food. That's a good way to know Lauren. But we always give her a hard time because she does have that wall up. You have to get through the wall. But when she's around her man, she becomes a different gal. You could say that. You're a giggly school girl around that guy. Yeah. And most people in my social circle would not call me quiet and reserved. Yeah.
Maybe the wall just needs to come down a little more. It's true. I mean, I guess we're starting to see her come out of her shell a little bit. But you really see her come out of her shell when her man is around. Oh, yeah. She loves that dude. I don't need a man to come out of my shell, Mikey. That's right. And Sienna is 24 years old. And she has a... infectious laugh. I do? You do. I mean, she does. For sure. Yeah. She is, she can make you happy just by laughing. It's just loud, I think. Sienna's 24, newly married. And are you rocking the t-shirt today, Lauren? No, but I was going to divert the attention to Sienna's shirt because it looks like her name is on there. What do you got, Sienna? Oh, I have a t-shirt on today. What does that t-shirt say? This was made for my... Let me unzip. Bachelorette party. Sienna's Bachelorette party, February 25, 2010. It says my name on the back. I love it. It's one of those baseball jersey t-shirts. Three-quarter sleeve. Yeah, the black sleeve, white in the middle. Love them. I do, too. I wish I had more of those. They're really comfortable to play ball in, too. So, what's going on, Lauren? I'm wearing a t-shirt, but it's not Matt's t-shirt.
That is not acceptable. It's a girl T. It's a baby T. That is a girl's shirt. You lose. I know. I wore it for her today. Did you? The T-shirt. I just, okay, so the closet with Matt's clothes is in the room where he sleeps. Wrong. And nobody was getting any sort of kick out of it. We weren't even posting. Wrong. We weren't posting the pictures. That is correct. That is correct. Didn't even take pictures the past two days. That's my bad. I know. So I was like, eh. I'm over it. I'm tired. Yeah. I think that means that we won. I think we won. I think so, too. Well said. I think that's right. And Jay is our producer. Jay is 46 years of age and also a health nut, a surfer. He's got a lot of kids, and he does. I do. It's true. 27. Yep. That's a lot. That's right. And you can call us, 570-1949 or text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. Big news today is the new developments with Corey Haim, right? Yeah, we announced yesterday that Corey Haim died at the age of 38. And the LAPD said that it was most likely for accidental overdose, drug overdose. However, his good friend Corey Feldman is not going to take that. Yeah, he is not having it and had this to say about it.
The police have raised the possibility, Corey, that given this history, drugs could have been involved in the death. What do you think? You can't know, but what do you think? Well, first of all, let me say this, Larry. In watching everything that's happened today and the reports that have come out, the first thing I need to say is people need to stop. They need to stop jumping the gun. They need to stop saying it's a drug overdose. They need to stop saying, you know, their theories of what they think it is or isn't. Because at the end of the day, until the coroner's report comes out, until we have specific evidence, until we know exactly what the toxicology reports say, nobody knows. And nobody's going to know. We all are aware of the fact that Corey Hames had a long and detailed drug history. Now, isn't that enough for for people to speculate? Yeah. But I mean, if it's someone that you love and, you know, the last thing you want to hear is people saying it was because of drug use when coroners haven't announced that. That's the reason why people should at least wait. I mean, dude, if it came out that it was some, you know, thing that we didn't know about. Yeah. We'd be like.
Well, would we? I mean, well, the thing is, too, is is no one really knew this, but it's come out now that Corey Haim was living with his mother who was battling breast cancer. Sixty one years old. She was in bad shape. So he actually moved into her apartment with her. And people were saying he actually for the first time grew up, quote unquote, because he was really caring for her. And that was the most important person in his life. And he you know, his like the addiction to pills has been decreasing. And, you know, he's actually been doing a lot better since he's been living with her. and battled addiction for many, many years. I know it better than anybody because I've been the guy stuffing charcoal down his throat when he was ODing. I've been the guy trying to... People probably don't know what that means. I have no idea what that means. If they pump your stomach, they give you something called syrup of EpiCap. I know because I made a very dramatic Dristan taking when I was 14. I took Dristan. I was like, I'm ending it, man. And my parents were like, are you kidding me? It's a dristan. What is dristan? Yeah, they don't make it anymore. Yeah, it was like, you know, Advil cold and sinus, basically. How many did you take? But I remember that they were pretty PO'd. Yeah. Rightfully so. Yeah. That's funny. My stupid kid, you know what I mean? Don't ever do that. They make you drink this. Oh, yeah, it was the stupidest thing in the world. They make you drink this stuff called syrup of EpiCap and then drink water and it'll make you vomit.
Perfect. See, because I always used to think that pumping your stomach meant that they actually pumped your stomach. They don't. They just make you throw up. And then after you throw up, they make you drink this stuff that's like charcoal to coat your stomach from what just happened. So that's what he's talking about. Make him stand up or say a complete sentence. I've been there with him through it many, many times. And it's happened very badly and very intensely through the years on many occasions. However, most recently. He's been honestly in the best frame of mind that he's ever been in in the past year. I mean, I would say with his mom battling cancer, he's really showed up. He's really become a man. He's been there. He's been there for her. Now, if Corey knows him well enough to know these things, maybe Corey just doesn't feel right sort of speculating on what he thinks it was. But if you know somebody really well, don't you know like? Well, hey, man, you know, I know my buddy had a heart condition that nobody knew about. Maybe you just don't want to say you want to say. But but maybe at the least what you could say is I want to keep some stuff private. But there's some things that people don't know about, you know, and so everybody needs to just chill out.
I think someone needs to defend him, too. And Corey Feldman knows that he's the guy that's been by his side for years. And if you I mean, I don't know if you remember, but a couple of years ago, they tried to have kind of a comeback and they had a show on TV called The Two Corys or something like that. And it actually did really well for two seasons. But because of Corey Hames, quote unquote, addiction, that's why they didn't continue. Yeah. It's sad. Maybe he wants his memory to be the first thing that people talk about. Yeah. And then the speculation to kind of be. And he kind of... It's interesting you say that because he kind of said that last night on Lurking. How are we going to best remember Corey Haim? Hopefully he's going to be remembered as a beautiful, funny, enigmatic character who brought nothing but life and light and entertainment and art to all of our lives. And this wasn't known yesterday, but Corey Haim's mom was actually the one who found him early in the morning yesterday, around 1.30 in the morning. And she's the one that called 911 and rushed him to the hospital. Corey Feldman talks about when he last spoke to Corey Haim. When did you last talk to Corey? Probably about three or four days ago. You spoke a lot. You were best friends. We were best friends. Best friends talk a lot. How was he doing at that time?
He was fine. I mean, he was actually giving me some advice about something that I was upset about. He was being very positive. I had just been getting him out more recently. I had taken him up to the Playboy Mansion fairly recently for the Super Bowl party. After that, I set him up with a girlfriend of ours named Daisy De La Hoya. And the two of them had dated a bit. So I was kind of trying to make matchmaker. I don't know if they were showing video there. Yeah, they play in some kind of audio. I think it's crazy that he was able to be on Larry King the day that his friend was announced dead. Larry King? What else do you have to do? Larry King gets people immediately. It doesn't matter. That's hard. I know. Oh, you mean? Like, he wasn't crying. I mean, he was very well composed, considering, you know? You know, they've been together. They've been acting since they were, like, little dudes together. And so, just the fact that he is on there makes me think that... He probably knew something like this was coming. If you ever saw that show, which, surprisingly enough, I did, Corey Haim was a wreck. A wreck. Yes. Yeah. I never saw it, but that's kind of what they're saying is that he was, you know, at times he was pretty incoherent. Sienna said that a lot of people said, though, that he was trying to get clean over the last few months or whatever, a year even. And so we'll know.
Toxicology reports will come out. We'll know. We'll find out the whole deal. Now, this next story is so lechy, but apparently at sushi restaurants in SoCal. Now, is this more than one sushi restaurant? There are two, but I believe it's the same owner who owns both of these restaurants that was serving this. Where are they located? In L.A. In Los Angeles. You know what they're serving? Santa Monica. That they're serving? Nope. Take a guess. Sushi restaurant. Sushi restaurant. Probably like some disgusting raw fish with seaweed wrapped around it, maybe. That's normal. Oh, that is? Oh, that's disgusting. How about cat? It was not cat. It was not cat. It was not cat. Oh, no. Dolphin? It was not. Whale. Whale. Whale. They were serving whale. Yes, they were.
The name of the restaurants were the Hump Restaurant and Kayoshiro Yamamoto. Hump? Yeah. That's like humpback whale. Yeah. The Hump Restaurant. They had something on the menu that is $600 and it's called omakase. And it's basically the chef's choice meal. And so two diners came in. And they worked with the documentary The Cove, which we've talked about, Saving the Dolphins. And they came in to regulate. And no one knew who they were. They came in. They ordered it. They must have got a tip. They must have got a tip that this was going on. And that's why they went in there because somebody must have tipped them off that it was happening. I'm sure. So they went in. They ordered the omakase. Which was whale meat. Did they say what kind of whale? No. They pocketed a sample of it. They took it in for genetic testing. And it was confirmed that it was a meat. Oh, wait. From an endangered sea whale. S-E-I whale. Endangered. Wow. Yeah. So.
Yamamoto has been convicted. He's the owner and main chef of the restaurant, and he could face a year in prison, and he has a fine of $100,000. The company, his restaurant, could be fined up to $200,000. How do you guys suppose Yamamoto gets his hands on Whale? I just wonder if he was marketing it as... No way. Some mystery fish? Like, what was he marketing it? Manager's choice tonight. Manager's choice with a wink. Chef's choice. Yeah, in parentheses, it said wink. Yeah. $600? A whale is a mammal. Some people that only eat fish. Yeah. A whale. That would freak them out because of that aspect? Well, yeah. And, I mean, never mind that fact. It's endangered. Are we hearing a TV show? I don't know what that was. Was it? No? I wonder what that was. Are we hearing you? I don't think so. Hi, Jay. I don't know that you are. No. It was a really faint talking noise under us. Yeah, that TV in there, the volume's not on, right? No. It's just like yours. It's just like yours. I wonder where that's coming from. Yeah. I don't know where one would even go to get it. Yeah. And if he's charging $600 for it, who knows how much he's paying for it. Yeah. What a weird thing.
You know, here's the other thing. This is just a, you know, just a normal observation. I'm not a big fish guy. You know, like I'll eat some fish. I'll eat the fish that I'll eat like very mild white fish. But I will just say whale sounds disgusting to me. It sounds so gross. So you're not a big fish guy. Yeah. But when we all went to dinner, you ate like a whole fish, like with the eyes and the head and everything. The eyelashes. It had eyelashes. It was smiling. It was smiling. Your wife had to put up a Chinese screen between the two of you, like a silk screen, so she didn't see what you were eating. Yeah. I think there's a picture of it on my Facebook. Is there? I think. Yeah. Let me tell you. That is the most delicious, mild, white. fish. Was it a snapper? What was it? It was a snapper. It was delicious, but it was hideous to look at. It's like a fish that's sitting on a plate. Fried. And it's sitting upright. Like it was swimming. There really were eyelashes and teeth and eyeballs. When the waiter brought it to the table, he shimmied the plate so that the tail would laugh. Your wife was mortified. My wife does not like fish.
I don't either. And we were the two sitting on both sides of you. And that fish was smiling at me the whole time. She knows that sometimes I just and her mom will do this with her, too. You know, her mom knows that she doesn't like anything that's ever lived in water. And her mom knows that what she just has to do with her is you just you got to go for it. Otherwise, you know, you're just not going to be able to lead a normal life. Yeah. Rebecca had the chicken fingers that night. Yeah. The kids menu, I think. Yeah, pretty much. At Sienna's wedding, there was a carving station. And there was some salmon there and then some steak. And Rebecca wanted a piece of steak. And she said, no, I can't have that piece. It's too close to the salmon. So she had to have it on. Yeah, yeah. She did. So funny. She did. Oh, my goodness. But I would imagine that whale would be very fishy. Oh. Yeah. No, it would be more like. Fatty? Maybe more like red meat. I don't know. I don't know what I'm talking about. Blubbery. Maybe. Who knows? Don't know. We'll never eat it. That's so gross. That's so filthy. It was in Los Angeles. What would you do, like, if I found out? Nah, I wouldn't think that I ate. I don't think I'd think I ate whale. What do you think the advantage would be to that? That you get more, like, bang for your buck? It's probably just, like, you know, a taste that no one's ever had before. No one knew, though, I don't think.
No one knew, though, right? Because he kept saying chef special? Yeah, but it was so expensive because it tasted unlike anything they've ever had. And I'm sure it was good if they can charge that much money, you know? Yeah. He was buying in bulk. Illegal. He was buying in bulk. Costco doesn't sell that, though. No, no. They don't sell that. You can't go there and get that. How do you store all of, like, a whale's meat? I didn't do that. Deep freeze. You'd need 25 huge deep freezers. That's right. You know what? What? There's a new richest man in the world. Yes. Bill Gates has been dethroned. Yeah. Who is it? It is a guy from Mexico. His name is Carlos Slim Gilu. Really? And his net worth is $53.5 billion. He's like the telecom tycoon. Wow. That's crazy. National Telephone Company. Oh, my gosh. I know. Bill Gates isn't far behind, though. He's only $0.5 billion behind. He's worth $53 billion. Yeah. Warren Buffett, $47 billion. Does it say what he does?
Who? The guy. Telecom. Telecom. Oh, sorry. So he's from Mexico. Mm-hmm. That's awesome. Hey, Mikey. It's your Uncle Chewy, dude. What's up, Chewy? I have an idea for Mikey, man. What you got? Maybe he should, he could become the richest guy in the world, too, man. Ow. He should make, like, stilts or something, dude. Stilts? Stilts. That's already invented, Chewy. Platform shoes, bro. He already has those. Oh, that's right. You already wear those, Mikey. You try to pass them off as normal shoes, but Gene Simmons just got done wearing them. Are you psyched that the richest man in the world is also a Latino? Yeah, he's Mexican, dude. You can say it, man. I don't want to offend anybody. You're not going to offend anybody, dude. I'm Mexican. You don't believe me? I'll pull an enchilada out of my pocket, dude. Yum. My underwear is made out of tripe, ese. Chewy, you are just a handful of information. I'll tell you, man.
That Woodsy looks moisturized right now, doesn't he? He does. I was thinking the same thing. Fresh. I thought to myself, man, there is no shine on that guy. He's really got to tell me about some of those products. I will. I think he uses those oil blotting sheets. Yeah, I've been known to use those before. Sure. What's an oil blotting sheet, dude? They stuck those in the water for the Exxon Valdez, bro. Exactly. They're like tiny pieces of paper that look like the size of a credit card that you just hold and blot on your face. Blot out the oil. Takes out the oil. What's weirder, a grown man using that or buying whale to eat it? That's a toss-up. Or a guy buying a vanity mirror to install in his bathroom is pretty weird, too. That's a joke about you, Mikey. Yeah, that's what your boy Mike did. I got that to you, Chewy. I understood what the joke was. You didn't have to explain it to me for me to understand it to you, Chewy. Mikey likes to check out his pores. Yes. There's nothing wrong with that, right, Essie? I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Of course you don't. Looking at your... Looking at your pores. Okay, so here's what I got for you. First of all, so we gave you the richest man. For six of the last eight years...
There is a guy that has successfully predicted the division winners in Major League Baseball. Like six of the last eight years, he claims. And he's made his picks. So I wonder if the Padres are predicted for the National League West. We'll have to tell you about that. And we got another, we got a great, great email that I want to read to you. And that's coming up here in a little bit too. You get text messages, 949mikey at gmail.com. This text message says, Mikey, don't worry about the thermal shirt. It's like a bra for your body. A man's ear. It's like a man's ear. Comfy. It says, stay pleasantly plump, my friend. That's from M1 El Guapo. Nice. And then we also got an email about that or a text message about that charcoal. It says that it binds whatever's in your stomach together and it renders it undigestible. Wow. He says they don't use EpiCap anymore.
Actually, that was M1 Batgirl. Had one of the craziest things happen as I was driving down the freeway yesterday. You found it. Did you find that on the internet or did you do that yourself? I made it for you. You made it for me. This is the strangest story ever. I was on the freeway, drove by a girl, and she held up a sign. What? She held up a sign to me. Tell you about it next. You're listening to The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Ryan from the Nervous Records.
I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What did you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinate it for 24 hours and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour, spicy, all at the same time. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Mama Testa Taqueria, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. Maybe I should write a jingle. Taylor Lovas, Taylor Lovas, Wayne Taylor Lovas. For real results guaranteed.
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Now imagine one little duck flowing down a storm drain, where it joins another little duck, and another, and 12 more, and 10 million more, flowing from storm drains all over San Diego, untreated to our beaches and bays. Now that's quite a sight. The only problem is, stormwater pollution is not rubber duckies. It's trash, oil, pet waste, and cigarette butts. And we have the power to make it stop. Clean water means quality of life for all San Diegans. Stop stormwater pollution. Think blue. For more information, call 619-235-1000 or log on to thinkbluesd.org. Because we all live downstream. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public. By being burdened with credit card debt to aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344.
We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344. 800-724-1344. Again, that's 800-724. Nothing. Every opportunity in front of you. The world's forward-thinking companies behind you. The Pacific Ocean beside you. Nothing standing between you. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. Well, this is the kind of morning you're going to love it. You can go play in traffic. There's no problems whatsoever. Those freeways are moving very smoothly. This report brought to you by SeaWorld. Wish you could take your favorite awe-inspiring Shamu splashing moments and relive them whenever you want? You can. Pay for a day. Come back all year with a SeaWorld Fun Card. Get yours at SeaWorld.com. Looks like the 8 westbound pretty smooth this morning from La Mesa Boulevard to the 5. Also heading out through the 805 southbound. No problem at all on the 5, the north end of University Avenue.
Brought to you by Toyota Motor Sales USA. Your Toyota dealer is committed to your satisfaction. They've extended their hours and added associates to take care of your service needs, answer questions, and address your concerns. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. If I like rock music and you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. Woods. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. Lauren. I like looking at boobs. Sienna. I can hit some mean wiffle balls in our yard. And Jay. I can make 100 hush puppies in like 30 seconds. On FM 94.9. Welcome back to The Mikey Show. Love to hear from you. 570-1949 or text us 949mikey at gmail.com and I won't get right to it, man. Wow. That's what I'm talking about. You think it's Luster at all? Uh-uh. Everybody's in still. I love it. Because I'm still in. Well, Big Ben Roethlisberger, no pun intended, has denied sexual intercourse with the young lady that has accused him of sexual assault. And he has admitted contact with her, however. The station in Georgia is KDKATV. They're saying that the police have taken possession of the...
videotapes from the nightclub. Are you serious? Yeah. They said that there's videotapes in there. They said that they now have them, and they're going to see what the deal is. Wow. Dude. Should be interesting to watch this thing unfold. It's a big fight this weekend in my hometown. Big D. The Manny Pacquiao-Joshua Clotty fight is held Saturday night at the new Cowboy Stadium, which we call, in Dallas, we call it Jerry World. Right. Because if you haven't seen this thing, it is... Doesn't it seat like 100,000 or something? Yeah, it is unbelievable. That's crazy. It's the coolest place I've ever set foot into, without a doubt. Pacquiao, pound for pound, is probably the best fighter in the world. And it's going to be awesome, and I'm not going to get it on pay-per-view, but I'm going to definitely look for the highlights because it's going to be pretty sweet. He's also very, I don't know, flamboyant. Very flamboyant, Michael. He showed up yesterday to Cowboy Stadium with... In a bus that was like wrapped with his face and his picture. You know he's running for public office in the Philippines. So he is fighting this guy Joshua Clotty. It's Saturday. It's going to be a really, really big fight. Now, one thing I read in one article, it said they expect it to be a sold-out crowd.
That's impossible. It said a sold-out crowd of 45,000. Oh, I know why. Why? I can tell you why. Because what they did is in order for people to be able to see and everything. They're not going to do the whole stadium. They probably moved it closer and all that kind of deal. Well, so cut to Manny. Here's Manny talking about the fight. Cut to. I'm very excited to fight in Cowboy Stadium. First time to fight here in Dallas. I'm excited to give a good show. I love this guy. I do too, dude. I can't wait to see what happens. That's great. So they were talking to, you know, hey, listen, being from Dallas, Jerry Jones, the guy does everything real big. So he had a few of his buddies out there watching him train and get ready for the fight. Right. Here is Cowboys legend Michael Irvin, cut one. Why we are so amazed with guys like that, yeah, is because very rarely do we see the great gifted... that works this hard. So everybody will be geared up in your magic 50,000 people with that big screen in that stadium. It's what boxing means. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be awesome. I love to hear him talk. I love to hear him talk. I love to watch him play football. Yeah. He was the best.
Well, sorry, Terrell Owens. The Bengals, who everybody was speculating is where he was going to go. He said he was going to change his name to Ocho Uno so he could be next to Ocho Cinco. Carson Palmer was going to lose his mind. He's not going to the Bengals. He's not? No, they signed a gentleman named Antonio Bryant, who is also a former big diva from the Cowboys he played. He's the guy that ripped his jersey off and threw it at Bill Parcells when Bill Parcells was the guy. I remember that, dude. So he and Ochocinco together should be just a lovely combo. So Tio's just floating around out there? Yeah, he's floating around right now. Hey, Chargers need a receiver. No, I don't know. Would you take him? Would you take him? No, I don't want him. You wouldn't take him? No, I don't want him. Really? And we're even hurting right now. And you still don't want him? I mean, I just don't really like him. No, no, no, no, no. He was a former Eagle that... It was horrible. Horrible. He's horrible. Horrible. Michael, do you want him? There's something left in the tank. I'd like to see what's going on. If it's your team, you're like, are you still out there? Maybe I will. We'll take a look. We'll take a look. If I were a general manager, I'd fly him in for a workout. He's like a cancer. Absolutely. Cancer. Okay, you just talked me out of it. I can be talked out of it. The guy can make plays.
Maybe we fly him in, Lauren. Maybe we fly him in just for a workout. Just to see. You just talked me out of it. Mike, what if the guy comes in 15 touchdowns next year? He's got Phillip Rivers, man. That could be. Mikey, right now. Might as well be. What if he realizes this is his last. shot at a winner and he comes in with his head down, his mouth shut and he's T.O. I say we fly him in and we just have Phillip throw a couple of balls to him and see how the chemistry works. Yeah, he'll be on his best behavior for that trip and then he'll start running mouth two weeks into the season. We're done. It would be a cancer team. Forget it. We can't do it. I would never do it. But what if? Don't say what if. We've lived our whole lives as what if Charger fans. What if 81 has got the bolts on his helmet next year and the sun is shining and he's on the grass and he's just catching bombs. I think it's worth the workout. I think it's worth just bringing him in for one workout and to see how it goes. And fine. If he doesn't have anything left, it's okay. We can do this all day. Mikey Tug-A-War. We can do this all day. Goodness. Well, speaking of wide receivers and Chad Ochocinco, he is going to be on Dancing with the Clowns this year. Here he is talking about one of the judges. Cut three. How I handle the judges is based off Vince Burke. Because from what I've learned in watching these shows, some judges are going to be a little harsh. And they have to remember.
Remember, I am out of my element. Don't judge me like I'm a professional. What's the judge name again? There's three of them. No, like the Simon of. Oh, Len Goodman. Len Goodman. He doesn't even know. You know, I'm going to say this to you and I'm going to say it to you early before the show even stars. Please do not step on my toes. He's going to be on there. He doesn't know. He said he will fight back. That's. Sounds like Eddie Murphy. That's right. He really does. Dude, I will TiVo it and watch it because he's on it. So there is a gentleman. He's from New Jersey. Lauren. His name is Bruce Bukiet. And he's an associate professor and associate dean of the College of Science and Liberal Arts at the New Jersey Institute. It's a fine institution. Never heard of it. That's how good it is. Well, what does this have to do with sports? Well, he thinks he has a mathematical formula that he's devised that can pick the winners based on the players, their ability, and then all of these weird little algorithms and things that he's developed. He's a mathematician. So based on everything, here's who he's got. And he says it's worked. He says six of the last eight years he's been using the formula, he's been correct. I'm turning the music down. I want to hear this. Okay. National League.
National League. Phillies. Will win. In the East. Okay. Nice. The Cards will win in the Central. Okay. The Dodgers will win in the West. Weird. And the Braves will win the Wild Card. Okay. Does it only work for baseball? I guess. Yeah. I didn't talk to them, but yeah. In the AL, Yanks in the East. The Twins in the Central and the West. Did you have to say the Yanks in the East? He said it like, of course. Like, I mean, do we even need to discuss it? There's a team there called the Red Sox that give them a little trouble, some agita. Do they? He basically says that the West is a toss-up. So, I mean, I guess the formula doesn't work that well. Well, what he picked, he said the Rangers, the A's, and the Mariners will all win between 80 and 82 games. So it's too close to call. And then he says in the wild card it's either going to be the Rays or the Red Sox. Here's the thing. These are all pretty much like the favorites anyway. If somebody said, Woods, you have to pick the winners, that's exactly what I would say. There's no real surprises in there. Is he a betting man? I don't know. I don't know if he is or not.
Pretty cool story in baseball, man. I'm not a big Red Sox fan, but Nomar Garcia-Para signed a one-day deal with the Red Sox yesterday so that he could retire. They call them Red Sox, but if you're retiring, I always say he's going to retire a Red Sox. So cut four. I've always had the recurring dream was to be able to retire in a Red Sox uniform. I was getting choked up then. I'm choked up now. I've got the chills. But to be able to have that dream come true, I really just can't put it into words because what this organization has always meant to me, meant to my family, the fans. I always tell people Red Sox Nation is bigger than any nation out there. Well, that's cool. Yeah, it is. Guys retiring to Red Sox. I like it. That's nice. I like it. Mikey, can I ask the question real quick? Sure. What's up with your boy Johnny Damon with the turf toe injury? Hey, guys, he doesn't play for me anymore. It's a real injury? He doesn't play for my guys anymore. You're done. He's a tiger. See you later, pal. Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out. L.O.B., if he were still a Yankee, he would tell, Woodsy right now would be telling you what his orthopedic surgeon said yesterday at 4.05 p.m. Well, is that a real injury? Yeah, turf toe is a really painful injury. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Tell me what you think about this. Tell me if you think that this guy is shallow. M1 Ceramic wrote. Now, you can call 5701-949 and tell me what you think. Or you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. M1 Ceramic says, Mikey, I think I already know what you're going to say, but I still have to ask because I know that even you have certain standards. I went out with this girl I met through our friend. There's no way I'm saying her name or my name. So please don't read it on the air because our mutual friend listens to your show. But this girl that I went out with is a 10. A dime. She's a dime. She's a dime. She's a dime. That's what you say. That's what I call them. Yeah. This place is filled with dimes. She's very hot, very cool. Dude, she has hairy arms. Deal breaker. 100. Deal breaker. No. He says, I'm talking like a Geico caveman. No. I never noticed it before we sat across from each other, and I immediately thought my friends would badger me about it. Could you date a girl with hairy arms, Mikey? Shallow hell. M1 Ceramic. Yeah, shallow hell. Well, listen. I'm going to give you my real thoughts on it. If this girl is a dime...
Stop calling it a dime. She's a dime. She's a 10. She's a 10. A dime. It's a dime piece. If the girl's a dime, then first of all, buy her some thermal underwear, all right? And have her wear a thermal top. Waffle shirts all the time? Waffle shirts all the time. No, listen. Come on. It's the very definition of shallow. As long as ceramic is okay, Sand. Listen, I'm being shallow about it. Okay. But. This is what's going to happen to every single human being. We are all getting older. We're all going to get a little. Things are going to start to fall. Things are going to start to do their thing. Things are going to. And if you make the choice and the decision based on the biggest laughs right now. But I'm telling you, this is what I believe. I know we all want to say that that's right, too. I'm telling you. You're not going to be able to look at that. You're not there yet. You're not there yet. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, wait. Hang on.
Let me say this first and foremost. I recognize that there is a chemical thing that happens with us, okay? We are attracted to people based on chemistry. Absolutely 100%. We are, first and foremost, we are attracted to somebody because of what our eyeballs take in. There's no doubt about it. Now, what I'm talking about, though, is on what basis do we make the choice? for said dude or said chick i believe that it cannot be hairy arms and i bet this dude is exactly i mean i'm sure they're hairy but i mean dude geico caveman come on yeah what girl's gonna allow geico caveman there's no girl in the world that would like allow geico caveman i mean maybe but same girl with a mustache but to him it is might as well be the geico might as well be it's too hairy for him it's exactly if he feels that he cannot live the rest of his life with her because of these arms, then okay, he can't be with her. Right. Okay. I say beat it. You say beat it? I say for him to beat it and let her get a real man to step in there. A real man. I agree. Beat it. Get over it. Oh, come on with the hairy arms. But I am calling a little BS on LOB. But come on with the hairy arms. I'm going to call some BS on you. Absolutely. You know.
That if we're talking about a girl picking a dude, you got some things that are going to be, you know you got some things that are going to be like, forget it, you're out. Yes. Yeah, I guess so. Like he litters. He eats meat. Okay. No, when I was like, when I was a teenager, I used to pick those things apart on people because I was immature and I was shallow and I was. Interested in surface things. Since when do guys ever outgrow that? I know. Never. Like, I couldn't date a woman with really hairy arms. I couldn't. No way. I could not. Well. I mean, that doesn't make me shallow. That's disgusting. Is there a physical thing that you would be out on that's a deal breaker? I don't think so. Could you date me? Right. You're not really alive anymore, so. That is true. Okay, you kind of got me there, but... Plus, you're mean to me, so... I could romance you. Okay, well, then we'll talk about it. I mean, I'm in a relationship now, but if we're talking hypothetical, maybe if you sweeten it up a little bit. See what you got, Tattoo. Hello, baby. Good start. Let me tell you something. I've seen a lot of dimes in my life, but you're recorded, baby.
Wow. Practically a 50 cent piece. Did you just call her a piece? No, I said she is a hot piece. Oh, okay. She loves that. You love it when I tell you what a hot piece you are? Eh, not really. Come on, tell it to me. Talk to her about, hey, I got a tip for you, Tattoo. Talk to her about recycling. Put me on your lap so I can tell you about recycling. Come here, come here. Thank you. You're welcome, buddy. Now can you see in my eyes, Laura? Yeah. Talk to her about recycling and dolphins. Baby, I will recycle a dolphin for you. Talk to her about fields of wheat. I tell you, when I look into your eyes, Laura, how come you're not looking at me? She's embarrassed. She's giggling. It's working. It's working, right? Do you want to see me in a robe? Yes, you do. Not really. Yes, you do. We're not there yet. Let's hang out and smoke cigars. Okay, you're losing it here. Let's hang out and drink wine. Tell me more sweet things about me. I like your buns. Wow, he's very direct. Okay. Women like it when you're direct. Yeah. I like your buns. He is at eye level.
Yeah, it's true. That's all I ever see. I've never seen her face. I can't look up that high. That's a good tattoo. You're trying. This guy on the line says that he dated a girl that had this very issue. Who is it, Jay? Jacef. That is Matt. Matt. M1 Matt, are you there? I'm here. You dated a girl with this issue? Yeah, I did. I was actually in college, and this girl was... Pretty close to a dime. Maybe not quite there, but she was really good looking. Right. And we went out a few times. I never noticed it until we, like, got back to her place one night. We were, like, you know, making out, and I felt her arms, and I literally had to stop. Like, it was really bad. This guy says caveman arms. I'm telling you, they exist. Was it a deal breaker for you?
Oh, absolutely. Well, I mean, I tried to, I actually wanted to try to date her because I thought, well, hey, you know, she can laugh and she's really hot. But I couldn't, like, get myself to tell her, look, you got to do something about your arms. Yeah. There's no way to do that. There's no tactful way. You can't do it. That's hot. Unless you say, hey, let's go get our arms waxed together. Yeah, you can. That'd be the only way. Well, the guy that emailed in... They said they have a mutual friend. The only thing I was thinking is if he got the mutual friend, it was like, look, I love her. She's so cool. There's just one problem. Is there a way that you can kind of hint to her? Hopefully the mutual friend is a girl. Maybe they could go waxing together. What kind of friends does she have if she has caveman-like arms that they haven't said something yet? That her friends haven't said anything? Yeah. But do you tell your girlfriends their stuff? I think you can suggest gently. You know, it turns out, man, I actually do some of that stuff, dude. Frankie, you do like waxing? Frankie does waxing. I can wax your arms. Hey, Woods. Hey. You got any hair on your back? Nope. I am actually pretty much like a hairless dude. Let me see. No, you don't need to see. Take your shirt off. Just take my word for it. I have no hair on my back. I'm going to come over there. No, that's cool, dude. I'm going to come just...
Like, make it like, I'll be Frank Oz, dude. Make you into a puppet. No. No, zero percent. That's really creepy. No, Sam, do it on the back of your shirt to see if you get it. Oh, I know you meant something else. No, dude. What are you? Come on. What am I over here? Yeah, I thought you meant that too. Try to be bros with you. That's all. Come on, man. Let me feel your back with my bare hand. No way. What's up? Why is there a problem? With my bare hand. Let me. Dude. Yeah. Let me wax your back. Dude, my back is... It's hairless. Is it really? Yeah. Let me see. Pull my shirt up. Okay. Are you looking... No, not you. Let me do it. Hang on a minute. Yeah, it's hairless. It's hairless. There's like not a single blonde hair. There's a flaming softball tattoo on my shoulder, but there's no hair. There's not any hair. Maybe his chest you could wax, Frankie. Take it easy. I have nine hairs on my chest, too. I don't know that there would be... I mean...
I guess it could be a physical deal breaker. I mean, after all, it is a physical thing when we see people, we're attracted to them. That's the deal. We're either attracted to them or we're not. But there's always a deal breaker. L.O.B. is saying that it's shallow. But come on, L.O.B., you've got to have something that you're like, I can't do it. Yeah, I'd have to think about it. Lauren. It's been a while. What if the guy was so cool and he recycled and everything, but he had a unibrow? What about that? Unibrows don't bother me. It wouldn't bother me. It would bother you. A hundred percent. Yes, it would. It's not on a man. Yes. A lot of men have unibrows. What are they supposed to do? Wax them? What if you had a cauliflower ear? Well, that would mean that there's fungus. Like, there's something in there that needs to be taken care of. That's true. That is true. Something that's just cosmetic. I'm sure I could get over it. Here's what we're going to. Oh, by the way, Mal Hall, our good friend Mal Hall, comedian. He's doing his Gaslamp comedy show tonight at the Bitter Inn. And if you go out there and tell him you're M1, you can first of all hit him up on his Facebook. M-A-L-H-A-L-L. Mal Howell is hilarious. And it's the best stand-up comedy show in town. Starts 7.30 tonight and tickets are only $10. You can go check out Mal. He's great, man. Love him. File this under I've officially heard everything. We'll do this when we come back and what the deal is with this man.
Harry Smith from the CBS Morning Show did something so filthy live on the radio. I'm just going to take a guess that maybe ratings need a boost over there. When you hear this, your jaw is going to drop open. You're going to go, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? It's next. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. BMW Encinitas. Now you can. Get exceptional offers on new and certified pre-owned BMWs during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas. Lisa 2010 BMW 128i Coupe. for only $279 a month plus tax or a 2010 528i sedan for only $489 a month plus tax or get up to $2,500 spring drive credit plus 0.9% APR financing on select models. And don't forget, you can save thousands on our huge selection of certified pre-owned BMWs only at BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Click bmwencinitas.com.
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Attorney Aaron Tiller is responsible for this ad. Nothing in this ad should be construed as legal advice. See, change your own oil, huh? Good for you. But where do you take it to get recycled? Well, FM 94.9 can now help you answer that question and many more just like it. Check out the Echo Village page at FM 94.9SD.com for all types of useful, eco-friendly information. Check out businesses having a positive impact on our community and our planet. Learn what you can do to protect our beaches and our oceans. Or find out when the next community beach cleanup is. Just go to FM 94.9SD.com. And click on the Echo Village icon. Supported by Think Blue San Diego. FM 94.9 presents Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Saturday, March 13th at the House of Blues. With the wigs. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Saturday, March 13th at the House of Blues. Tickets available now at LiveNation.com. This report is brought to you by Nissan. Get quality now. Get savings now. It's the Nissan Now sales event. The best deals ever on their best cars ever. The event ends soon. Get to a Nissan dealer. Now, on the 15 southbound coming through Escondido this morning, just a little slow from Valley Parkway to Center City Parkway. Also, the 8 westbound, we've got a little bit of a delay from La Mesa Boulevard to the 5. And checking out the 805 southbound, traffic seems to be moving nicely on that 5 to University Avenue. This report also brought to you by Arco. Arco, home of the Straight Up Gas Institute, where our unique formula, good gas for less cash. Arco, Straight Up Gas. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Financial Media Station.
The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. M1, you're a Mikey Show listener, and you're a part of the M1 Nation. You can see all about it right now at m1site.com. You can see it at mikeyshow.com. You go to fm949sd.com. And if you are an M1, you are spreading the word about what is the fastest-growing morning show in San Diego. Thank you so much. to everybody for helping make this radio station and this morning show so popular right now. Thank you so, so much. And our guys are out there getting new fans every day. It's so awesome. It's so awesome. Also, if you are a Facebook user, you can go to the Mikey Show fan page. We have a fan page that we'd love you to check out. And if you go to the Mikey Show fan page, you will see that we have
6,944 fans. Now, here's the deal. 56 more. That's right. 56 more is what we're looking for when we get to 7,000. The 7,000th fan of the Mikey Show fan page is going to get a backstage pass, come into the studio, get catered breakfast, get an actual backstage pass. And also, in addition to that, we will take a picture with you and email it to you. And it's a pretty fun time. It's a real fun time. So definitely become a fan of the Mikey Show fan page. Just type in the Mikey Show. You'll know which one it is on Facebook because it's the one that's got the 6,944 fans. And we love you. And we want you to be a part of the M1 Nation. And that's how you get in on it. The Mikey Show is myself and Woodsy and Lauren and Sienna and Jay. And this was the weirdest thing, man. So I love cars, man. I love cars. And it's always been my dream to have a Beamer. So I'm driving yesterday and I'm on the five and there is a girl in the, I'm in the fast lane. She's in the lane next to me. She's in lane two. And as I drive by her, she holds up a sign that says Beamer Girl. Was she driving? Yeah. So weird. She was the driver.
And she's, like, giggling and stuff. I was on the phone with my wife on the Bluetooth. And I go, she goes, what? I go, something weird. Something. Something. She goes, what? I go, there's a girl. And she's smiling and she's holding up a sign that says Beamer Girl. And it's like a sign that she bought. It's like a metal, like, sign. And there's nobody else in her car. And then I kept going. And then she got behind me and she was giggling and she stuck it on her dashboard. What? Does she have a Beamer? No. That was a Hyundai. No, I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was. Prius. She really wants a Beamer, I think. I guess. She's an enthusiast. But then I thought it's either that or that's a way to flirt. She was into the Beamer driver. She's into the Beamer, you know, and the Beamer driver. And, you know, obviously she couldn't see through the windows or she would have put that thing down real quick. But the deal is, I've never seen anything like that in my life. No, nobody has. That's weird. I didn't know if you, where you would get that. Sounds like a custom job. It's a custom job. Sounds like a custom job. I don't know.
It was... Pet Boys. Yeah. Maybe. They have random stuff like that. Yeah. I don't know if you've ever seen those. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. So weird. Like I said, file this next one under. This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Harry Smith is on the CBS morning show, okay, on television. Katie Couric is talking to him during the CBS evening news while he's doing... His colonoscopy. Oh, gross. Live on television. Well, Harry's actually doing well. He just said to me, Erica, you know, this makes me really happy. So I think the drugs have kicked in full blast. And Mark is in the middle, Erica, of the procedure. Harry, how you doing? How you feeling? I'm doing great now. Okay. So gross. Really? I'm doing great now. To be able to, you know, sort of come to. toward the end of the procedure and be able to talk to Mark, talk to Dr. Pacheco, and have him say, this all looks great. Yeah. The good news is, Harry's calling as clean as a whistle. Gross, dude! Wow. I'll do it. And you're being inappropriate. You'll do it? I'll do it. You'll do it on the show? No, no. I would do it for the show. You don't have to go in another room.
I would do it. I don't think it's that ridiculous that they did it. What? Because I'd do it for the show. I would. I would do that. But they're not a comedy show. They're a news organization. We are a comedy show. That is true. I wonder if we could, if we could all do that together. No, no, no. We don't need to do that together. Maybe we get a room with five beds laid next to each other. We just hold hands when we're on our stomachs. It's only a guy thing. Chicks, I don't think, need them. No, they do. It'd be fun for them, though. You do? Yeah. I thought it was a prostate thing for guys. No, do you get your colon cleanse? No, no, that's not what he was doing. He was getting a colonoscopy. Isn't that the same thing as a colon cleanse? No. It's for colonoscopies to check your prostate. Oh, with the little camera guy? Yeah. Camera guy. Mini camera guy. Girls get colonoscopies as well. They do? Are you sure? Yeah, because they want to make sure there's not anything in there. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to vomit. They did it on live television. That's so gross. Katie Couric did it. Yeah, Katie Couric. Well, it was Harry Smith that was getting it done, but she was the one commentating on it. I think she did it, too, back in the day because her husband died of colon cancer. That's right. So she, on live television, did the same thing? I've seen Katie Couric's colon. No way. Jay! Are you serious? I mean, I guess it's cool they're bringing awareness to it so people get that procedure done, but it seems a little drastic. Well, yeah, I mean, you think? That is a little drastic.
There's not too many things that I would do live on television or radio. I told you, I'm considering a vasectomy, but I don't know that I would do it on the radio. You should. Please. I want to be there with you, dude. I would do all kinds of things. Frankie, me and Frankie will come with you. What's the problem with that? Ain't nothing weird, man. No, you stand on one side, I'll stand on the other. Yeah, dude, how about we do it like this? Mikey gets it done, Woodsy, and me and you hold hands. Yeah. Well, you get on one side, you hold one hand of his, I'll hold his other hand. Well, you know, I think we can hold hands. We don't need to hold hands. Well, you're holding his hand, dude. And then you hold his other hand. No, I'll hold your hand. You don't need to hold my hand, dude. That's so weird. Why would you do that? You're so weird about that, man. I don't know. You're acting like it's weird. It's not. You guys are friends. Sienna, we're friends, man. It's moral support. But I'm not going through anything. Mikey, it's hold Mikey's hand. He needs you. I don't need you. What if you're freaked out because your friend is getting the vasectomy? Yeah. Somebody got to be there for you, dude. Good point. Good point, Frank. I'll hold your hand. Fine, you hold my hand. Why don't you guys practice now?
Yeah, dude, how about if I come around? No. You stay where you are. Dude, come on. I come around, I hold your hand. Yeah, let's see what it would look like. What if we... All right, we can try it. Okay, but only interlaced fingers. Woods has reached his hand out. Woods has reached his hand out. Very creepy. Oh, they're holding. They're holding. Are you on the webcam? Don't rub my thumb like you don't mean it. You have very soft skin, Frank. You would notice since you moisturize constantly. Yeah, I've been there in the show. Speaking of. That was a moment. Now he's reaching for his Nivea man cream. Oh, what? What, dude? I have rough hands. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question, Lauren. Yes. Well, now that he's put the hand cream on, it's not going to work. But I just want you to, I want you to do, I want you guys to feel both of our hands. This is weird. Because I do not moisturize my hands. He moisturizes his hands every 12 seconds. And his are probably more dry than yours. They are. Absolutely. That's like the chapstick theory. Wow, wait. What's his put on lotion, though? No, yours are far and away softer. I wouldn't feel. He has baby soft skin. I know he does. I want to feel next. Come on, fellas. I think that moisturizing your hands, when you put, if people put lotion on of any kind, I think it makes it.
It's not good for you. It's probably because I was out working on my car yesterday and playing guitar all the time. You don't even know how to change your oil. Your hand feels like my niece's bottom. All right. It's so soft. I get where you're going with that. You say the same thing about chapstick. If you put on chapstick all the time, then it makes your lips dry. Gets you addicted to the chapstick, and it makes your lips dry. It's a conspiracy theory. You constantly feel like you need it. You may be on to something. All right. Step on a nail or get kicked in the nuts. Would you rather? Favorite song. We got some good tunes. All right, so call us right now. 570-1949. And I'm going to give you some choices for would you rather. Would you rather navigate through life with 3D glasses always on or have a milk mustache at all times? Milk mustache. Glasses. Milk mustache. Definitely glasses. Definitely. What? If I'm wearing 3D glasses, this is so vain and shallow. You're going to ruin your eyes. But I don't have a milk mustache. Right. But you'll... First of all, a milk mustache will stink. No, it won't. It will. It will be dried. Gross. Filthy, filthy gross. I'm going with the glasses, dude. Right?
I mean, dude, if you got a milk mustache, everybody looks at you like you're slovenly. But what if you ruined your eyesight because you wore 3D glasses everywhere and you went blind or something? I don't think you'd go blind. I would get nauseous. Yeah. Seeing like the blurry outline. Can I say something about 3D glasses? By the way, we won't review the movie because we're going to do that later. But we all went and saw together. We all went and saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D yesterday. And I would like to make an observation about 3D glasses. Biggest scam in the history of scams, if you ask me. They're a lot cooler now than they were 20 years ago. They're not the paper ones. I could not disagree with that more. I think that the paper ones worked. I think this, nothing jumps out at me. I'm telling you guys, nothing jumped out at me. I was like covering my face. I did. One time I covered my face. Really? No, there was something at the end of the movie where ones kept reaching out and trying to catch it. It was a butterfly. Me and Jay were reaching for it. At the very end of the movie, the butterfly was like the only thing that really to me was like right in my face. And it wasn't even really right in my face. I agree with you. There was a handle on a cart that came out into the audience. I swear I was going to move that cart out of there. Really? Oh, yeah. Because you guys.
I seriously, I thought to myself, what they've basically done is they've just made it so that a movie only looks normal if you put these glasses on. That's true. It seemed like a normal movie to me. It looked really weird with them not on. I forgot. I went to use the restroom and I forgot that they were on my head. Yeah. I came in and I was like, this is terrible. This ain't HD. Yeah. But when I put the glasses on, I'm like, it just looked like a normal movie. It didn't really jump out at me. I can't wait to talk about the movie. I know. We'll talk about it in a little bit. Maybe it was like one of those little paintings where the thing pops out at you. Maybe you're like one of those people that can't see the image that pops out. It could be. It could be that I... Because, Sienna, did you see stuff in your face? Well, I mean, I saw that it was 3D, but I didn't think it was great. In your dreams? Were you seeing things flying at your face? What? Because you were sleeping. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's true. We'll get to that later. Yeah, we'll talk about that later. I thought you could see around people. They really stood off the screen to me. Really? Yeah. Dude, it must be that thing you guys were talking about then. I just can't process it. M1 matches, what would you take? Well, I have a question. What kind of 3D glasses? Are they red and blue or are they the new? No, they're the new ones. Oh, I'd probably take the glasses because the milk on your lip.
would really smell bad after a while. Yeah. Let's do this then. Old milk. Let's say it was the old kind where one eye's red, one eye's blue on the 3D glasses. I think it'd be a little harder, but that's kind of like, what's the movie where one of the guys wears it all the time? Back to the Future. Back to the Future. Yeah. It's kind of a fashion thing. So people would be like, hey, I remember those. Yeah. Woods, Back to the Future. Yeah. I say greetings, nerd. But wait, shouldn't we go in with the spirit of the question? Would it really start to smell or would you always have a new fresh milk mustache? All right, always fresh. But it would be, so it doesn't stink. Let's take that out of it. But it's like noticeable, man. Like you've got a milk stash. You have a milk stash. You're a dork. Like if you've got a milk stash, you're walking around with a big milk stash. Have you ever noticed that there are some people that always get the milk mustache? Like it's easy to avoid, but some people don't know how to avoid it. Drink white. They don't curl their upper lip. Yeah. M1 Joe? Yeah. What would you take? Well, you know, you can go in the sun. The glasses are already tinted. You can go to the movies. You only have to put the glasses on already. You're set. I would choose the glasses. Yeah. You do have to be that guy, though, when you walk inside someplace. You're that guy. You're wearing glasses. You look like a dork. How about this one? If you're stranded on a desert island, would you rather...
Have only a TV, full satellite programming, or share the island with another human being that you can't stand. TV. TV. Wait, say the first part again. I blacked out. So you're on a stranded desert island. I blacked out. Blacked out. It's funny. You're on a stranded desert island. You cannot say that right. I know. You're on a stranded... You're stranded on a desert island. Thank you. The desert island isn't actually stranded. You are. You are the one stranded. You're on a stranded desert island. And you have a television with full satellite or you're on that island with somebody that you can't stand. Which would you choose? Oh, my gosh. The TV, right? Right. This is not difficult. It's not hard. I'm picking the person. Really? Even if you can't stand them? Oh, I would learn to like them. Wait, is it the opposite sex? That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Because if it were the opposite sex, I think I'd have to go with the annoying. You would?
Opposite sex. Really? For what? A little wookie wookie. Really? Yeah. But you're going to have to wookie wookie with somebody that you can't stand. It's all right. I'll take a run. I'll figure it out. It's a full satellite package. You're good to go. You can get whatever you want. That's sexy. Yeah. Yeah, but the human connection. You can't fake that. They say you need the human connection. You'll always be entertained with the TV. Oh, yeah. Would you rather... Would you rather be stranded in the woods and have a corkscrew or a spoon? You only get one of those. Corkscrew. This is weird. Sure. You're stranded in the woods. You only get one of those. A corkscrew or a spoon. Why a corkscrew? In case you find a wine cellar? You could, like, stab an animal with it. Yeah, you could kill someone. Listen to Lauren. Well, seriously. For food. You got to get food, bro. I would want a spoon. I could dig carrots out with it, not a spoon. Because you make a spoon into a shiv, and then you can shiv an animal. Only you can do that. What is a shiv? A shiv. Shiv is, he spent time in the can. A shiv.
is something that they make in prison to stab other inmates. Oh, like you could rub it on a rock and sharpen it? They file it down, yeah. If you had a spoon, though, if there was like a little pond of water or something. Yeah, if you found some yogurt out there, you could eat yogurt with it. Yeah. You could bury a hole and dig. You could bury a hole. I would get you some coffee and eat it, okay? I need my kombucha. Kombucha, make it right. I would take the corkscrew. I think that there's so much that you could do with a corkscrew. There's so much you can do with a spoon. Like what? Jay's got a point. What, take cough medicine? I just told you, eat yogurt with it. Yogurt, water, you could dig. Oh, that's, the digging aspect is rad. Yeah. With a little spoon. What are you digging for? You building sandcastles? You're getting killed time.
Dig for water. Trying to get to China so you could have some dim sum. You seriously could build it into a knife, then you could use it to carve, you know, like a wood shovel. There's so many things, but a corkscrew. Only you can do these things. MacGruber. Yeah, no kidding, MacGruber. We need to do Survivor Man with Jay. Just dump him off at like 3 in the morning, see if he can get here by showtime. He will. Oh, for sure. 100% he will. Jay, we give you. We tease you about this a lot, but do you actually think that you could be a good survivalist? Oh, 100%. I would love it. So if we put you like out in the middle of Catalina Island. Oh, I'd love it. You could make it over the course of like a week. This is a paid gig. I'm 100% in. Really? Oh, for sure. Even you would be able to like hunt your own food and forage and whatnot? That's what I do anyway. What are you talking about? That's true. Jay owns chickens. He does. Got his own chickens. It's true. Dude, I'm telling you, I would love to see that because I love Man vs. Wild. Can we do it, Jay? Can we really do it? Yeah, we'll put him in Balboa Park. Balboa Park, and then I could just eat a bum. I'd like to see Mikey in the wilderness. I can start a fire. With a lighter. When we were at the other station, Jay...
We did it one time, and I almost got that fire started, and it was raining that day. Remember, Jay? It was crazy. Yeah, we did a kind of survivor thing, and Mikey did pretty good. With this thing? No, I gave him a flint and steel. I gave him a lighter. He gave me a flint and steel, but we also did one where there was like a two-by-four, and I had to rub a stick. And I had a little kindling. Come on, dude. Do you have a magnifying glass? You put it on a tee, I'm going to hit it out of the park. I'm telling you, I actually did all right with it. 570-1949, or you can text us, text this, 949Mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Did you guys know that, speaking of weird implements, so this guy is at the movie, don't know where. He gets stabbed. He's okay, just so you know. This guy's okay. But there's kind of a humorous aspect to the implementation. Corkscrew? No, it wasn't a corkscrew. What did this dude get stabbed with, Sienna? A meat thermometer. Interesting. Yeah, well, what happened was that there was a...
A guy just chilling, going to see the premiere of Shutter Island about two weeks ago. Oh, that makes it even... Stop, this is creeping me out. That's even creepier. I know, because it's a creepy movie. Gosh, that is creepy. Uh-huh. So this is in L.A., and the guy's sitting in the theater, and there's a woman sitting kind of behind him talking on her cell phone in the theater during the premiere. Drive anyone nuts, right? Mm-hmm. So he turns around and does one of these. Shh. As he should have. Shh. You know, shushes her. Right. Well, a little bit later, I'm sure the girl mouthed back to him or something because a little bit later, the woman and two men left the theater. Yeah. During the middle of the movie. Right. Then a few minutes later, the two men come back, get behind the guy while he's watching the movie, stab him in the neck with a meat thermometer. Why did they have a meat thermometer? It's a really good question. It's a great question. Especially because men don't carry purses. It must have been just in their pocket. Right. And men don't carry meat thermometers. Yeah. That is true. That is 100% true. Unless they went across the street to go pick up the nearest weapon they could find. I mean, could you imagine sitting in Shutter Island and you just all of a sudden get stabbed in the neck? That is awful. I wonder what his internal temperature was. It turns out he was medium rare. Well, the victim was hospitalized. He had some pretty serious wounds, but he's going to be okay. Yeah, you could die. Well, yeah. Yeah, 100%. There were also two people in the movie theater that ran to the guy's aid in a fight.
broke out between the guys and the suspects got away though. AJ, if that were you, you would have gotten out of that because you probably would have had your wife do the shushing. Yeah. Yes, I would have 100%. Jay's wife is the heavy. Yeah, honey, can you tell that guy to be quiet? No. Well, no, what you guys would have done is you would have complained to your wives. The person needs to be quiet. And then the wives are going to be so nuts because you guys keep complaining that finally we have to say something because you're driving us nuts now. Tell the story about what you just had your husband or what your husband just had you do. Okay. Well, Todd, I love you, but you're a pain. So before the wedding, I know. Before the wedding, I go to a jewelry store to get Todd's wedding band. And I have it. designed, made from scratch from an amazing jeweler. And he worked really hard on it. Two days before the wedding, Todd and I go in so Todd can try it on, make sure it fits, make sure it's all right. And tries on the ring, says, oh, I love this. The jeweler's standing right in front of us. Oh, I love this. This is so great. And I feel it to make sure it really is good because Todd won't...
You know, if it's something's wrong, he won't say it. Right. So I'm like, it feels a little tight, babe. I don't know. Is it a little too tight? He's like, no, it's perfect. I love it. The jeweler is like, are you sure? Are you sure? He's like, oh, I love it. And I say again, it feels a little too tight. This is the time now. Right. And he's no, it's fine. The second we leave the jewelry store, just bought the ring. Everything's done. We are getting in the car. Yeah, this is way too tight, Sienna. Wow. You need to take this back. It's too tight. You need to. I don't know what to do. We go on our honeymoon. He's still wearing it every day. And he's like, yeah, this really needs to get fixed. It's too tight. That's hysterical. And I'm like, we were there. I do that with Rebecca all the time. Like, there's stuff that I just have her do. Like, you know, because I just don't want to go there. And I'll be like, babe, can you do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she has to play. And for sure with Jay. But if that's you, I want to hear from you. 570-1949. What do you do? Is your wife the one that does the complaining to the companies? Is your wife the one that does any of that stuff? 570-1949 or 949mikey at gmail.com. I want to hear from you. Or if you're listening right now and you are the one that's in charge of doing that for your husband. What's the dirty work? Guys are wimps.
Yeah. What's the stuff that your husband wimps out on and you have to do the dirty work? Jay even said that his wife negotiates when they're buying a car and stuff. She does it all. So call us 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. I want to spend my life on the show on FM 94.9. If you're in the market for a new car, here are some important things to consider. Ford is far and away America's strongest automaker, offering models built for San Diego. Ford Fusion was just named Motor Trend's 2010 Car of the Year. Fusion Hybrid delivers up to 41 miles per gallon in the city. That's even better than Camry Hybrid. Ford Escape is fast becoming San Diego's favorite SUV with a hybrid model that gets 34 miles per gallon in the city. Ford Focus delivers up to 35 miles per gallon on the highway and comes available with hands-free sync technology. A Ford exclusive. Today, nobody beats Ford quality. Not Honda, not Toyota. Nobody. Take a new Ford home now and get huge cash rebates. Plus, financing as low as zero APR. Learn more at SanDiegoCountyFord.com or visit your nearest San Diego County Ford dealer.
Cash back varies by vehicle. Not all buyers will qualify for Ford Credit limited term financing. Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 4-5-10. Mileage based on EPA estimates. Your mileage may vary. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Ryan from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff we get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark... Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinate it for 24 hours and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour, spicy, all at the same time. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is... It's awkward. Mama Testa Taqueria, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. Maybe I should write a jingle. Tell the lava, tell the lava sway, tell the lava sway. Verizon is the best destination for great family value. And that's good to know, because if you make any more cuts to your budget, your children are going to riot. You've cut back on movie night and banned junk food. Lay a hand on their wireless, and the hard truth is, they'll be picketing the kitchen table in no time.
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Outstanding results. Heading on to Vista, into Vista rather, South Emerald Drive at Highway 78. We've got traffic signal problems. They're not working right now. Northbound and southbound lights were knocked down. So just treat it like a four-way stop and take your time going through there. The 805 northbound Murray Ridge Road, an accident. The left lane's blocked. This is on the on-ramp. And the 76 at North River Road, we do have an injury accident. This report brought to you by Nissan. Get quality now. Get savings now. It's the Nissan Now sales event. The best deals ever on their best cars ever event ends soon. Get to a Nissan dealer now. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear. We're the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Thursday morning being brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate. Hot or cold, drink of choice. I've had some this morning already and I'm ready to rock and go surfing. Today we've got some waves out there, clear skies, offshore winds, grooming, some wind-swell, ground-swell combination out of the northwest. Still kind of broken up and coming off of a higher tide. Beach breaks, semi-walled up, some pick-and-cheese corners, better structured zones. A little bit of a fat tide, as mentioned, so the reef right now are looking a little bit rolly as well. As the day continues and the winds stay offshore, it should clean up a little bit more, and lower tiles will help with fine bottom.
So, beach is okay, reef is okay as well. Nothing special, but definitely rideable for the first time since I've been home, at least. So, for up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecast, go to surfline.com. For everything you need in order to go surf, you check out one of South Coast Surf Shops' five locations or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaki or Bamate, and it can only be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. And the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Back to the Mikey Show. On FM 94.9. Lauren O'Brien. Mike Esparza. Is there anything that your boyfriend Matt has you do? You know what? One of the reasons that I love him so much is that he does all of that stuff. Like the no shame, just go complain to the waitress or call the landlord when something's going wrong. What about spiders? I catch spiders in a cup and let them out into the fields of wheat. Of course.
I bet you do. So that they can enjoy the rest of their lives. He doesn't have a problem with the spiders? He doesn't. He'll just stomp them out and not be like, why did you do that? No. You let what's releasing back into the wild. I have to do that stuff all at our wedding. When we got to our wedding reception, we sit down at our table and Todd's wine glass isn't filled up. And he's like, look, all my buddies are here. Their glasses aren't filled. What's going on? All they have is water. And I'm like, okay, chill. So I flagged down like the bride flag. We need to get some wine right now. That's funny. The groom needs it. And we're getting a lot of these, man. We're getting a lot of the texts, the 949 Mikey at gmail.com. We're getting a lot of guys calling in and a lot of guys that are texting in and saying that they're. Wives are the spider killers. Oh, yeah. Their wives are the ones that have to do the dirty work. That's basically what it is. M1, Sarah? Yes. What do you have to do? I, well, among a lot of things, the one thing that drives me insane is when you go through drive-thrus, even if he's driving, I...
I always have to lean over and order. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Yes, I do too. Why? Why? Why? Why? We don't go through drive-thrus very often, but stuff like that. He gets frustrated because he can't understand what they're saying, and it's mumbled, and he's like, I don't forget what you want. And me, I just already know what he wants before we even get there. I know what I want. I know what Jenna wants. Like, I know what the whole family wants, so it's just easier. I do the ordering at the drive-thru, and I have to say, like, I don't. like it. I hate it. I don't like it because this is what it sounds like every... It's always the same routine. It's like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on just a second, babe. And I turn and look at her and then she's like... with cheese and I just feel like I'm the go-between. Oh, see, if I wasn't ready to go by the time we got up there, Todd would flip out and be like, we need to be ready. By the time we get there, I need to have it written out in order. So that's why I just do it. So he could just sit back and take a deep breath. Well, and I think that that may... Now, how about you, Sarah? Why does he have you do it? You know, I think just because he doesn't really like to deal with people. I mean, it sounds silly, but I mean,
I have to call if there's anything wrong. But the thing that kills me, you guys, is that when I was in labor, okay? Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm in labor, having contractions, and he's like, oh, it's going to be a really long day. You know, I'm going to have to eat something. I'm like, okay, hurry. And I lean over having contractions to order his food. Oh, wow. That's the greatest thing I've ever heard. That's probably the best one that's ever been said. Oh, wow. Right? Oh, wow. Amazing. My wife's listening right now, and I can guarantee you that she's got some of those. Oh, for sure. I think my wife takes care of me. Yeah. My wife hooks it up. That's what we do. Mine, too, dude. My wife is very, very nurturing, very nurturing. But I do all of the most 98 percent of the, hey, our cable's out or something like I'll do the nasty calls because I can charm them usually into getting what I want. Yeah. But she just won't do those. But I've taught her. She's learning. She's getting so much better at taking care of business. Lauren, when it's when it's a cable problem or a bill problem or a blah, blah, blah problem, who does it? You or Matt?
Now Matt's the fall guy. I used to be able to do, and I would be like, you listen to me. You listen good. I'm a strong, independent woman. And I need my freaking cable turned on right now. I would love a recording of L.O.B. on the phone. With a cable company. You guys forgot one thing. What? Lauren doesn't have cable. That's true. That's true. That's true. I'll call, like, my cell phone company. I'll be like, yeah, hi, Veronica. This is now the third person that I've talked to. Oh, you're that girl. Yep. You know what my bit is? What? And it's brilliant, and it works every time. Mikey, answer the phone. Customer service. Customer service. This is John. May I help you? Hey, John. My name's Steve Woods. I'm a long-time customer. Dude, listen. Sounds like the Incorporated. I know. that this is not your fault bro i know that you have a job to do i don't want to come off like a jerk man but this is what's going on and every single time i get what i want listen dude i know it's not your fault if i come across as a jerk my anger is not meant for you bro that's really nice now do you then proceed to be a jerk yes then you can be a jerk because then they know that you're not yelling at them you can fillet their company but you don't have to yell at them it's not
their fault they work for the company right you know they probably hate the company as well yeah probably dude you know so it's you it's a it's just a preemptive hey bro let me just start this conversation i appreciate what you do yeah this this anger isn't directed at you man sometimes when you can't understand what they're saying now it gets you a little upset yeah yeah no that that kills me absolutely and if they don't know what they're talking about and you've been transferred like three times or hung up on or something like that Kim's got something she does for me. If I need a doctor's appointment for something, she'll full-on call up, make the appointment. Nice. Then she'll go with me. She'll sit there with me as we fill out the paper. Sometimes she even fills up the paperwork for me. She goes, oh, I got that. I got that. We'll get in there, and then she goes, okay, now this is what's wrong with Jay. Wow. Grow up, Peter Pan. No. Okay. You just reminded me of another great one. Todd, you can't do anything. It's not fair, man. He needed a haircut. I really need to get a haircut. I don't know where to go. Everyone I go, they mess it up. So I'm like, okay, try this place. It's right by our house. It looks good. So I call and make him an appointment. And the woman on the phone, the receptionist is like, so is this for you? And I'm like, no, actually, this is when we were boyfriend and girlfriend. This is for my boyfriend. Oh.
okay, what's his name? And I said, it's Todd. And they were like, okay, we'll just, I guess, tell him to come in at 315. So I called him baby appointments at 315. And he's like, okay, cool. And I'm like, by the way, that was really embarrassing because they laughed at me. And he's like, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. They'll get used to it. When he went to the haircut place, now he goes to the same girl every time. When he got there, they were like, we were waiting all day to see who this Todd was to find out who this guy is whose girlfriend had to call and make an appointment for him. Yeah, man. I mean, Rebecca does. Like, if I have prescriptions, I'll write her an email and say, hey, babe, I'm getting low on flownase. Mikey's form of communication, email. Email. Everything's email. Everything's email. Do you get, like, a heart attack when you email me and then I call you to talk about the email? Uh-uh. Uh-uh. No, I'm okay with that. What does make me crazy is when I text message somebody and they call me right back. Yeah, for sure. Now, I do that, but the only reason I do that is because I'm driving. Or if it's been like eight messages back and forth and there's not a clear understanding yet, you're like, let's just take care of this. 570-1949. This is M1 David. What does your girlfriend have to do for you? Well, pretty much, as far as business-wise, I take care of everything. But when it comes to conflict, she's like,
She's like a little chihuahua that barks her mouth, you know? Right. For example, yeah, pretty much. But for example, like, we were at Walmart the other day, you know, and we put our signal light and we're waiting for a car to get out. And then as soon as I'm starting to drive, I know the car just drives right in front of me and starts to park in there. And my girlfriend was like, honk the horn, honk the horn. And, you know, I don't really want to make a big deal about it. She leaned on it. She reached across and honked the horn. Two minutes. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, go ahead. Oh, dude, that's going to get you killed, by the way. Yeah, seriously. I've done that before. It was like a family, but imagine if it was like three guys or something. I'm like, man, do you have to go inside Walmart and see these guys, you know what I mean? That's a question. Do you guys ever notice that there are the women that, they're going to get you in a fight, man. For sure. Like, your woman will be like, hey, Don't be walking by us doing that. And you're like, babe. Shut it. Yeah. Please. Please. Miss fire. M1 Nathan, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. Well, I'm not calling about a wife or a girlfriend. I'm calling about my sister. We're about a year apart. This was probably 10 years ago. I'm 20 now. So I was 10 and she was 9. Yeah. And we were playing soccer out on the playground.
And I guess some kid tripped me, and she comes out of nowhere, whacks the kid in the back of the head, clothes fit. Yes! He falls on his face, and he starts crying. And, you know, to this day, he's never lived that down. Yes! Your sister came to the rescue? I love it. Yeah. That's great. Sometimes the wives are the ones that are, and the girlfriends are the ones that have to do all the stuff. My wife does. A lot of that stuff. She does a lot of that stuff. What does your wife do, Woodsy? What do you have? What is she in charge of? Like the... Tell her how she's trying to sell the house and she's doing the whole yard sale. Yeah, I mean, we're selling a house in Dallas right now because she's moving out here soon and she's doing everything. Man, I'm here, you know, and she's... Well, what's your bit about that? My bit? Yeah. What do you say? I love you. No. I love you. Thanks for everything you do. No. No, I didn't. It's a bit and it's going to come across wrong on the radio. That's what I said. That's what's the bit. It was a joke. I know. It's a joke. I told my wife once I said, listen, and it was a joke. It was hysterical. Preemptive. Okay. Everybody settle down. Okay.
Settle down. It made all of us fall out of our chairs laughing. Oh, he says it all the time. It's funny. It's from a movie. And basically what I said is she's like, honey, I have to sell everything. I have to pack the truck. I'll probably end up driving out there by myself. I said, listen, I'm the talent. I can't be concerned with these things right now. Where is my sushi? Okay. I'm the talent. That is so funny. So now it's really taken on a life of its own. And when I start to say it, she gets so mad. Oh, I would, too. She's awesome, though. She's so funny about it. M1, Chris. Hey, what's going on? Not too much. Okay, here it is. I'll say last October, I took my daughter to the dentist for an orthodontist appointment. It's supposed to be at, like, 4 o'clock. So we get there, sign in, you know, go sit down and wait. Figuring we're going to wait 10, 15 minutes. Half hour, 45 minutes go by. Nothing. Nobody calls us. Nobody comes over to say anything. So I walked up to the scene and I'm like, hey, you know, my daughter's been here for like 45 minutes. Oh, oh, we're going to get right there. So I said, OK, cool. So we go sit down for another 20 minutes. By this time, I'm getting pissed, fed up because it's been almost an hour. So instead of going and just reaming the office staff, I grab my kid. OK, let's go home. Go home. My wife comes home from work. I tell her about it. She's on the phone in like two seconds.
ripping the dentist's office saying, how dare you make him wait and blah, blah, blah. So after all that happened, I'm coming down right now and you're going to see her. They got there. The kid got in and out in about 15 minutes. That's great. That's how it's done. She dropped a hammer on him. That's right. She did because I'm spineless. Me too. Lauren. Do you guys secretly boil inside when you've been waiting at a dentist's office or a doctor's office and someone that you know got there after you goes in for you? Yes, boil. It drives me mad. Or when you're at a restaurant and... people that come in, you know, and they're seated, like, you're like, they came in. I was here first. I've been here an hour. They had a reservation, maybe. Is that what it is? I like to grease the maitre d' from time to time. You do? Mm-hmm. You go, hey, buddy. Works. Here is a fresh $1 bill with your name written all. You see that? You see that? See that? Pop, pop. See that little crisp sucker? Yeah, I usually, I'll grease them like a 20 if I really want to eat. Because I get food brain and I'll kill you. Yeah. I get hungry. Listen to Michael Jackson's bodyguards talking about Michael and going shopping. We were asked to leave hotels because the credit card on fire was being denied. Michael Jackson's credit cards were declined. Some of them wasn't paying the bill. How often would this happen? I remember four different occasions. Oh, no, you don't. You're trying to pretend it was four different occasions. It was one.
And we were trying to buy a sarcophagus. Oh, wow. Why is he trying to drag you through the mud now? Because it's all, everybody just wants to jump on the bandwagon. I think so. And one time we was in Las Vegas at the Luxor and I was trying to buy a real mummy in a sarcophagus wrapped up in bandages. Who doesn't need one of those? Everybody has one. We all try to pretend like we, hang on a second, I guess these. Bless you. Bless you. Look at the leg movement. Sorry about that. Anyway, as I was saying, so there I was. You need to blow your nose, dude. You got a bat in the cave. Hang on, Steve. Wow, and a crotch grab, too. Still have one. And a spin. Wow. And so anyways, I bought one sarcophagus.
And my card got declined. How much was it? $474 million. I wonder why. And so I said, well, may I borrow your phone so we can call the company? And so I called Capital One. And I said, I said, I'm at House of Sarcophagus right now. And I'm trying to buy a sarcophagus. And my card's been declined. What happened? And the lady said, well, would you like us to raise your limit to $500 million? And I said. Yeah, does a chicken have lips? No, a chicken actually doesn't. That's what she said. And she goes, no, a chicken doesn't have lips. And so she didn't run it. Sorry. And so I called back and I was like, hey, it's Michael Jackson again from House of Sarcophagus. Okay, does a bear poop in the woods? That's the one. And she goes, yes, it does. And she let the order go through. Consider it done. That was one of those things that they're trying to exaggerate.
I got an email yesterday sent to me, and it said, finally, the question's been answered. It was a picture of a bear pooping in the woods. I'm telling you guys, I laugh so hard. That's awesome. I love that bit. 570-1949 is our number. Here's more from the bodyguards. Ten million. I'm seeing all these zeros. I'm like, where's my move? We can't get a $5,000 chance. Right. It was going out faster than it was coming in. That's a lot of dough, man. It's like Biggie said, dude. Mo' money, mo' problems. That's right. Mo' money, mo' problems. Have you ever seen that thing, though, man, on Michael Jackson with Martin Bashir where he goes walking through the place in Vegas and things are like a million bucks and he's like, I'll take one of those and then give me one of that and then let me have that $80 million chandelier and I'll also take that.
Cat made of solid rubies. And then, can I have that toilet right there that's made of emeralds? And then it's like buying everything. And Martin Bashir is with him and he's like, Michael, don't you realize that this old cost quite a bit of money? And he's like, yeah, but I've got it. It's okay. He has giraffe money. Yeah, seriously. He's got giraffe money. He can basically buy a giraffe. That's what my boy Ro calls long money. Yeah, dude. Long money. It's true. I mean, the guy was buying everything in the store. Yep. And it was all weird and like, dude. What are you going to do with a coffin, you know, made out of golden emeralds? I would sleep in it. That's too soon, Mike. And that's a stupid question. I'm going to plug a vacuum hose into it and pump oxygen into it. That's what I'm going to do. What would you do with it, dum-dum? I'm just saying, Michael. What are you going to do with it? I just told you I'm going to pump oxygen into it while I sleep in there. T.O. was training me all last summer to run a 40. Nice. That I would pay money to see. I actually was considering having people pay money to see it. I was going to charge $25 a ticket. T.O. and me doing the 40. Oh, no. Oh, wow. Hang on. He's eating cayenne pepper. Hang on. Every once in a while, you get one of those Mike Singletary freak out moments. Oh, yeah. The best. He just freaks out. Patrick Kennedy is a politician and was speaking to, I guess, the house yesterday.
This audio is everywhere. It is a mammoth freakout. It's a mammoth freakout. And I have the audio, and I'll play it for you next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949-MIKEY at GC. It's the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. All right, well, this Saturday night, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club are playing with the wigs at the House of Blues downtown. Should be a good show. It is 21 and up. Bad Religion kick off their three-night stand at House of Blues on the 19th. Those three shows will all be all ages. Devender Banhart plays the belly up on the 25th. And Air will play fourth and be Saturday the 27th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows.
The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. At HalfPriceSanDiego.com, they sell gift cards that spend just like cash. Half Price San Diego is excited to have the Healing Arts and Wellness Center in Pacific Beach back on. This March, it's massage madness. Where else can you get a one-hour massage for $22.50? Only at Healing Arts in Pacific Beach. Spring Break is here, so you know it's time to get geared up at Surf Ride Board Shop in Oceanside and Solana Beach. From the oceans to the streets, Surf Ride's vision is to get everyone as stoked on riding the elements as they are. Visit either the Solana Beach or Oceanside Surf Ride. And don't forget, the Lumberyard Tavern and Grill is the new place in Encinitas for awesome food, sports and drinks. Don't miss their grand opening party March 16th. Enter the Lumberyard's College Basketball Championship Contest and win a trip to Vegas. You love Vegas and you'll love the Lumberyard Tavern and Grill in Encinitas. Register today and receive HalfPriceSanDiego.com's weekly emails so that you know about all the deals first. It's a win-win.
PriceSanDiego.com. Now you can get exceptional offers on new and certified pre-owned BMWs during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas. Lisa 2010 BMW 128i Coupe. for only $279 a month plus tax or a 2010 528i sedan for only $489 a month plus tax or get up to $2,500 spring drive credit plus 0.9% APR financing on select models. And don't forget, you can save thousands on our huge selection of certified pre-owned BMWs only at BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Click bmwencinitas.com. All leases, 36 months, 10K miles per year, 20 cents per excess mile. 1-128-I at this offer. BIN number L89146. 4883 total drive-off. 1-528-I at this offer. BIN number 366311. 6576 total drive-off. Limited term financing and spring drive credit available only through BMW Financial Services. All offers with approved credit and expire 4-30-2010. Do you think blue? Well, you do if your business cares about clean beaches and waterways. FM 94.9 wants to hear what you and your business do to think blue. Are you careful about what goes into storm drains? Do your employees properly dispose of trash, leaves, debris, hazardous material?
and more. Your business could be rewarded for your efforts to Think Blue. Tell us the creative and environmentally conscious ways your business is preventing storm drain pollution. Do you have pollution prevention programs at work? Does your business volunteer at community cleanups? If your business is chosen, you'll win one week of paid advertisements promoting your business. Be creative and enter your Think Blue submission at FM949SD.com. That's FM949SD.com. Get a week's worth of free advertising Just for doing the right thing. Think blue, San Diego, and get rewarded by FM 94.9 for doing so. Submit online today at FM 94.9 SD.com. This is an important alert from the lawn desk. Yes, it's tough to grow grass around here. But when the growing gets tough, the tough get growing. So repeat after me. I want to grow grass. I can grow grass. And by golly, I will grow grass. How? Scott's Turf Builder Grass Seed with WaterSmart. Turf Builder has Scott's Water Smart Coating that absorbs and releases water to keep the seed moist longer than uncoated seed. So it grows, even if you miss a day of watering. And Scott's Premium Tall Fescue Mix was specially developed to survive heat and drought and thrive season after season. See? Nothing can stop you. A long, hot summer can't stop you. A dry spell can't stop you. Insects can't stop you. Only you can stop you. And you're sure not going to stop you, are you?
You're going to get Scott's Turf Builder Grass seed with WaterSmart and start planting the seeds of success. That concludes this Lawn Desk Alert. Scott's, the official lawn care company of Major League Baseball. Cool. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public. by being burdened with credit card debt. To aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344. We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344. 800-724-1344. Again, that's 800-724-1344. I'm Jason Vanderpaal, Guitar Center store manager. Starting this weekend, I'm...
Kicking off what may be our most intense month of national savings. It's our first ever manager special sale and we've been staying up late and marking down prices to unbelievable new lows. Check this out. Four sets of electric guitar strings for 10 bucks. Acoustic electric guitar is just 179. Buy one peisty prototype symbol at half off list. Get one free. Awesome financing too. So hurry in and grab a guitar center manager special while they last. BevMo presents the five-cent sale word, wow. As in, wow. Buy one bottle of wine and get the second for just five cents? Or, wow, look how many great wines there are to choose from. And, wow, I'm coming back for more. That's our favorite. BevMo's five-cent sale is on. Choose from more than 200 great wines, like Mezza Corona Pinot Grigio, Irony Pinot Noir, and Louis Martini Chardonnay. Club Bev members, buy one bottle, get the second for just five cents. WowMo and SaveMo at BevMo. For a great deal on a freshly made to order walked meal, check out the Dragon Deals value menu at Pickup Sticks. Six delicious meals, only $4.99 each.
This report is brought to you by redplum.com. Discover a great place to find printable coupons, coupon codes, and saving tips online, redplum.com. You'll save on your favorites for groceries, fashion, local dining, and more. Visit redplum.com today. On the 805 northbound, the 52, an accident in the center divider. Also, traffic signals are not working here in Vista. South Emerald Drive at the 78. We've got the computer that's not working. So just treat it like a four-way stop as you head through there. The 805 northbound Murray Ridge Road, an accident at the left lane. block that's on the off-ramp. This report also brought to you by the 2010 Census. The Census form arrives in mid-March. Take 10 minutes, answer 10 simple questions, help your community get what it needs. Learn more at 2010census.gov. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Army of you from your favorite Icelandic. She's a little... She can be a little, you know. A little bit. That's part of the reason I like it. This sounds great. She, like, sounds normal. Army of me. And so she goes... She does do that. She's like, who the hell are you talking about? Is she an American Idol? Yeah. It's Bjork. Welcome back. You can call us, 570-1949. Or you can text us, 949-MIKEY.
At gmail.com. Okay, so first of all, we have to get to this email that we got that I want to read to you. Also, let you know that The Mikey Show is myself, Woods, Lauren, Sienna, Jay, and there are five people on the show. And M1 is a Mikey Show listener. If you call into the show, all you need to know is you need to know the rules. Turn your radio down. Get to the point. Don't cuss. That makes you an M1. You're part of M1 Nation. And the March Music Madness is going to be happening. It's one artist. We're going to crown this year's champion. And the selection special is going on Sunday night here at FM 94.9. And if you want to know more, go to the coolest website there is. FM 94.9SD.com. Rad website. There's so much cool stuff for you to find there. And you got to check it out. It's really, really cool. Okay, so like I said, every once in a while, somebody does a massive...
flip out that makes the news because it's such a flip out. And Patrick Kennedy, he's a Democrat from Rhode Island. He was upset because there's a lot of coverage in the news about a bunch of stuff other than the stuff that in his opinion matters. And he's got kind of a point. And that is, why is nobody covering Afghanistan? What's happening there right now? He was very emotional when he made this statement. Two press people in this gallery. We're talking about Eric Massa 24-7 on the TV. We're talking about war and peace, $3 billion, 1,000 lives, and no press. No press. You want to know why the American public is fit? They're fit because they're not seeing their Congress do the work that they're sent to do. It's because the press.
The press of the United States is not covering the most significant issue of national importance, and that's the laying of lies down in the nation for the service of our country is despicable. That was an overreaction. Okay, so he got a little, you know, he got a little heated is what I'm saying. Now, I agree with the stuff he's saying. I'm on board. You know, but I think that the thing that's been, you know, the thing that I think a lot of people maybe thought about it was there was a little. That was an overreaction. He was really going for it. He went for it. When he was getting after it. I kind of dug it. I was kind of inspired. Yeah. Because, yeah, you're going to talk about the guy that tickles people, Eric Massa. Yeah. Instead of soldiers losing their lives. I'm on board. I'm on board, man. Woodsy hates to be tickled. I hate to be tickled. I like to tickle him now that I know that. Hates to be tickled. You don't necessarily hate it, though. I hate it, Frank. You don't necessarily hate it, bro. I hate it. Listen, I had a brother who was afraid of spiders. And I said to him, look, in order for you to not be afraid of spiders, you have to confront spiders, man. Right. You know what I'm saying? Face your fear, I think they call it. You got to face your fear. That's why right now, because I care about you.
I want to challenge you to a tickle fight. Yes. I want to see it. There is a 0% chance that that happens. No way. Tickle fight. Tickle fight. Tickle fight. Come on. No. Strip down to your skivvies. Dude, I'll do a colonoscopy for the show, but I'm not doing a tickle fight. A tickle fight. Jay, he's all the way in on that. Jay, yeah. Jay suggested they, uh. Yeah, Jay. Strip down to your skivvies. Get in there. Jay, Jay, yeah. Yeah, do this. Yeah, let's do this, man. Let's do this, Woods. Get in there with you. Yeah, you're firing me up. Let's do this. Zero percent. Come on, Woods. Let's strip down to our skivvies. Tickle fight. Right now. Tickle fight. You're men. Tickle fight. Tickle fight me. Tickle fight me. Dang it. Come on. How do you win? What are the rules? The rules are we tickle for four hours straight until one of us doesn't give up. Until one of us doesn't give up. That's it, dude. So we just keep tickling. What's your idea, Jay? I say strip down your skivvy. Yeah. Maybe get some oil. I'm afraid, dude. Get in there and tickle. All right. Let's do it. May the best man win.
Gosh, that's going to be awesome. I ain't afraid, man. Frankie, I love when you get really excited. Yeah, let's do this. Jump out of your chair. I say right now, we get a kiddie pool. Filled with oil. Yes, I've got one. Fill it with baby oil. Wow. Got it. What? What's the deal? Jay's already writing it down. He'll go to the store. No, I don't want to do it. He already has it, I bet. I don't want to do it. You're overreacting, dude. Because I'm wrestling with some dude in oil. No, you're not going to wrestle. You're going to tickle. I'm not going to tickle. That's even weirder. Dude, I wouldn't wrestle you in oil. First of all, I'm not like that. I'm really conflicted on you, dude. You seem like a cool guy. Yeah. I love Italians. Dude, I love the Sopranos. Yeah. Do you get a girlfriend? He's got like 10, huh? Probably. Probably. Probably. I've got a girl that I know that I want, that I think would be a really good fit for you, dude. Yeah, dude, I'll probably be sexually attracted to her. Hold on, I'm going to text her and I'm going to hang on. She works in the building. She's hanging around. What are you doing? I'm setting you up, dude. Why? He wants to tickle you. Who's that?
How you doing, Frankie? What are you doing here? Hi, Frankie boy. Well, hi. Hey, you're looking like a gorilla to me. Frankie, this is MC Meldog. MC Meldog signing in. What are you here for? I'm here because I heard there was a gorilla in the building and I'm looking at him right now and he's a fine piece of meat. I've been thinking about this. You obviously need a friend. I got one. His name is Woods. He's standing right in front of me. And we was about to get down in a tickle fight. A lot of tickle. You need a female friend. And MC Meldog and you. You have similar backgrounds. You know, things like that. I'm Italian. She probably has a cold. You have a common ground. She has the flu. No, that's how she talks. I'm 100% healthy, baby. Let's get a little tickle going on. That's all right. So you'll tickle me, you won't tickle her? I'm just saying, dude, I just met her. Me and you were friends, man. Yeah, you guys go way back. Now listen, if I wanted to get into a bunch of baby oils with you and I was trying to, like, you know, wrestle, that would be weird. With her? With you. With me. Yeah, that would be weird. It would be weird. I want to tickle you. That's weird. Twinsy, baby, I want to see you tickle. No, I'm not tickling him. Come on, do it. Do it, do it, do it. She's perfect for you, dude. She's not my type.
Really? Hot and Italian is not your type? It's a hair color. It's a hair color. It's not my type. Oh, yeah? What's wrong with the hair color? I'm not into brunettes. Oh, you're not? Nah. What about Woodsy Baby? Oh, I mean, I mean. With long hair. With long hair. You know, I ain't into the long hair. I don't know about the hair, you know. Otherwise, you just seem like a great gal. You don't like the poof? The poof is great. It's just it's too long for me. Too long. But definitely I'm sexually attracted to you. All right. I see what you're saying. For sure. For sure. You know, you can use a little more muscle yourself there, Frankie. Oh, wow. What are you trying to say? I'm perfect. Yeah. I'm perfect. Maybe to you. Maybe to you. I got seven-pack abs. What I'm looking at, eh, can use a little work. Oh, really, doll? Yeah. You know what? You know what? I think you got a good point. Oh, yeah. Why don't me and you, Woods, we get together. We start doing crunches, bro. Me and you? She's got a point. I got a little flab. Me and you get together. We do crunches. What do you say? No, dude. I'm busy as busy as can be. Oh, really? I got to find a house. I got to move. I got all kinds of stuff going on, bro. I'll pick you up. We'll crack it all out in one day. What's today? You know what? My wife's coming in next week. We're going to do it then. Today is Thursday. I'm pretty sure Woods doesn't really have anything going on this weekend. Yeah, we don't have a meeting or anything. Let's go to Nordstrom Rack. We buy a couple of outfits, you know? Velour, yeah. I'll be out of town this weekend, but that's okay.
Fine. That means you don't get the present. Well, you hang out with Mel Dog. You'll be here for your baseball game on Sunday, won't you? I'll be here Sunday for my baseball game. Maybe Sunday afternoon. Guess I'm going to have to give the present to somebody else. Maybe MC Mel Dog. You know what, Woodsy, baby? I love you. I love you, too. This gorilla, I'm kind of out on him. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I'm kind of out. What's the problem, doll? You know, you insulted my poof. You say it's too long for you. I didn't insult your poof. I said it was too long. Yeah, what's that supposed to mean? I said I was sexually attracted to you, all right? All right, I guess so. It's just you're not my type. Oh, yeah? Well, you're not my type either. Well, that's fine. You're not tan. Hey. I guess I didn't really do a good job of setting these two up. I'm out of here. You see what's going on, Woods? I'm out of here. You see what's going on? Yeah, you just insulted a friend of mine. I think she's trying to break up a couple of friends, dude. You think? She just left. She's gone, dude. I'm going the present away, bro. I got you some velour. I'll take it. I got you some velour. Give it to Sienna. I got you velour pants. You said you wanted some. Give it to Sienna. I'm not going to wear them. You said you wanted to. I'm going to show them to you. Show them to me. Yeah. They say juicy on the butt. Oh, those are good. Wow. They're bright green. Bright green, dude. I didn't know they came in that size. I'll pass. I had to special order these on the internet. Well, wear them yourself. Size 34, bro. You wear them yourself. All right. Put me in them.
Nice try, Frankie. Frankie, it's enough. Come on. You're starting to embarrass everybody. Hey, this guy, you don't want to tickle me. No, I don't want to tickle that dude. I can't believe you. I don't like to tickle. Like I said yesterday, Megan Fox could tickle me and I wouldn't want to be tickled. You're acting like a wimple, man. I know. I'm kind of embarrassed the fact that you don't even want to, like... Well, maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore. Now, don't say that, though. You're kind of overreacting, right? I think that's what you're saying. That was an overreaction. Fine. We don't have to tickle fight. Fine. Thank you. Dodged a huge bullet. Let's do something different. All right. We'll talk about it. Butterfly fight. What is that? Butterfly kisses. It's where you take your eyelashes. No, dude. All right, Frankie. That's stupid. That's really creepy. Ridiculous. That would be funny to see. I can't believe you didn't like Mel Dog. I know. She's mad. Dude, I'm just saying, man. She's mad.
Yeah, smoking hot. But just not for you. Yeah, I like blondes, you know. I like blondes. If she was blonde, I'd probably want her. She dyes your hair like every week, so there's a good chance next time you see her, she'll be blonde. Natural. I like her. They have to be natural, huh? That's how I like my women. I think her natural hair color is blonde. I can't get enough women, dude. I always want to be dating women. In fact, I'm dating them all the time. When was the last date you went on? Like, how many hours has it been? Where'd you go? What'd you order? What'd you drink? I went to Chili's with her. And we got the nachos. That's healthy. Yeah. And then you know what we did? Made out all night long, dude. We made out all night long. You Frenched?
Frenched all of it. You know why? You know why? Because I love girls, man. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm hot for them. He's a ladies' man. Ladies' man. Do you try and tickle them also? All the time. See, Woods? See, I get it. Nothing for you to freak out about, man. Okay. Maybe you guys could double date. Maybe. Lift weights, man. Gosh. Lighten up, Woods. I'm light. Light as a feather. Somebody said to me the other day, I'm lighting the loafers. Yeah. I don't even know what that meant. It's not exactly a compliment. It's not a compliment, pal. I think it meant I'm losing some weight. No. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. You keep telling yourself that. Did you guys hear that there was a second Prius incident yesterday in San Diego, but... Yes, it was another Prius driver, 42-year-old Carl Davis. He was driving from Magnolia Avenue to the Interstate 8 on-ramp. I think that's over in, like, El Cajon. Yeah. So, Magnolia to the... Because I'm like, well... That's TomTom. Yeah, is it Magnolia is off of the 8, right, TomTom girl? That is correct, Mikey. Yeah. Located 17 miles. From here, yeah. It's 17 miles from here, and it's El Cajon area, if I'm not.
mistaken alcohol would be correct mikey that's right so the prius was actually registered to the san diego county public defender's office yeah and it was had government license plates and like i guess that's something kind of sketchy also it was only two days after the last prius incident which was also here in san diego and how long have we gone without hearing of any yeah and then he claimed that the car Accelerated 15 miles to 20 miles per hour. But then as soon as he was pulled over, he said he needed to be taken to the hospital for back and shoulder injuries. And he wasn't even going quickly and nothing went wrong. Really? Like the whole thing was just really sketchy. And he was, you know, making a really big deal about the car. Doesn't sound right. It doesn't. That's exactly. None of it's adding up. Anybody think this might happen? Yes, of course. There's got to be people that will try to take advantage of it, right? Yeah, people want money back for their car. Get a new one. What do you guys think of this? M1's single mom, she put her name in parentheses. I wonder if I'm allowed to read it. Jay, can I say her name? Yeah. Mary.
A lot of hesitation there, Mike. Mikey, with all the violence in the news, I'm thinking about buying a gun to protect my kids and my home. Everything that I've been reading says that owning a gun saves lives. What do you think? I was also wondering if the M1s had any suggestions on what kind. I'm only 110 pounds. I need something that's not going to knock me down. My brother is a gun enthusiast. Collects them. Vary by the book. Does everything by the rules. And I was raised around guns. And so we own guns. And the reason that I do is because I grew up with them and I know them. And it was an awesome memory for me growing up is going and shooting guns with my brother. Everything was always safe. Everything was always by the book. Now, with that being said, my brother has this phrase that I will always remember. And it is, if you are a gun owner. And the reason that you're a gun owner is because you want to use it for protection. If you own a gun, there is a very high percentage chance that you will use it. Yeah. That is a statistical fact. If you own a gun, there is a very high percentage chance that you will use it. If you own a gun also, I think it's really important to put it somewhere.
Like a gun safe. We have a gun safe that you need a, you know, you have to have a combination for it. And that's a good idea. That's what you should do. But, you know, if you have kids, you know, because kids, you just don't want to mess them with guns. Yeah, 100%. But I want to know what you guys think about it. Woodsy, what's your thoughts on owning a gun? I think it's fine, man. I think it's our, you know, it's our right to do. I think that you need to be scared of guns because they're scary. They're really, really scary. I, we have guns, my wife and I, but they were inherited. My wife's stepfather was a police detective. And so I keep a 38 next to my bed. Do you know? In a drawer. In a drawer. In a drawer. Now, when you have kids, will you change that? Absolutely. So you'll put it in a safe or something? It'll be, it'll be, there's actually a safe where you use like your four fingers and you put your four fingers and it's got to match your four fingers and then it opens. Yeah. I'm going to keep it right next to my bed. Yeah. Because if somebody breaks into my house and they're going to do something to my family, I will have no qualms. None. In Texas, I think they have something called the castle law, right? Well, they have a concealed handgun law. My brother actually can carry a concealed weapon. He had to go to classes. He had to do all kinds of things. But I think the castle law means if they set foot on your property, you may shoot them. Yeah. And, I mean. Lauren, your thoughts on guns?
I'm going to get slayed on this. Why? I am going to get slayed. I know it. It's absolutely people's constitutional right. I would not look down on them if they had a gun. Actually, when Chelsea King went missing, Matt and I actually had a discussion about this because I'm already paranoid about people breaking in and everything. So when that happened, he was like, should we get a gun? And I said, absolutely, positively not. I'm just... I just feel like if it's in the house, the chance for an accident just outweighs the positives for me. Like the David Silver's friend on 90210, you know what I mean? David Silver's. Okay, so of all the references. Wow, that was a pull right there. In the world, you went 90210 on me? Just those accidents that happen. I mean, you hear it happen and, you know, it's just. Did you grow up with guns? No. See, I didn't either. My dad has. Never. I don't even know if my dad's ever shot a gun. And the only reason I have one is because we inherited him. I would never spend my good money on a gun ever. Yeah. And I just I do crazy things when I wake up in the middle of the night. You know, I get ready for work. No, I get ready for work at nine o'clock at night because I'm just a little out of it. But like.
I just feel like if I wasn't exactly sure and I grabbed it and it was just. I thought it was a toothpaste. Well, no, but I mean, people do crazy things and sleepwalk and eat while they're sleeping and they don't remember anything. That's why you lock them up. Lock them in a safe. I grew up with guns and my dad and I would always go hunting and shooting. One time we went hunting. We took all the guns out of the house. And this guy went to break in our house. My mom went to the closet, reached in to grab the gun. There was nothing there. So she grabbed the vacuum cleaner, pointed it up at the guy. And the guy freaked out and ran away from a vacuum cleaner. Wow. Whoa. Jay has the best stories. That's awesome. That is awesome. Can't see too well. Is that John Grisham in there? I know. You guys have got the best stories. See, I was kind of thinking something similar, too, is we don't have a gun, but we have, like, a BB gun. And that would scare me, too. You don't know the difference, do you? Really? Unless you're, like, an expert. That's a good point. Or, like, a paintball gun or something. And you can't kill someone with a BB gun. But then if they whip their gun out and you've got a BB gun, you brought a knife to a gunfight. That's right. Well, whatever. Hey, Lauren, it's Dylan from 902. Oh, dear. Hi, Dylan. It's one time Bran and I got in a fight, and, um, Bran freaked out, and she stuck the...
nozzle gun in my nose and I was like tripping out. And so I got really, really defensive and I jumped in my Porsche. That's weird that you got defensive, Dylan. Yeah, I got defensive. Because you're such a rebel. And I got so rebellious, I jumped in my Porsche and I didn't eat for a day. Dude, really? You went and surfed it off this day ever. And I ate lobster sandwiches and I started eating again. For a full day, I didn't have any lobster. Wow. Were you really upset when... Freaking killed me. What about the guy from your high school that was twirling the gun at his birthday party? Yeah, I know. He thought it was real funny until it went off, right? That's the way I ended up being born. Were you talking... Oh, I'm so sorry. You meant something else. Why don't you guys get your mind out of the gutter, man? If Bren was here, she probably wouldn't stand for anything. What about Kelly? I dated her later, bro. Did you guys ever see Eight Seconds? Loved it. Some of your best work. You're the one, bro. Lane Frost. Weird. Weird. Weird. What? You know the character's name. Weird. He's famous. It's a bull rider movie. I've seen it too. Lane Frost was like super famous. He was like the best bull rider in the world when he died. Mikey, does this mean anything to you? It means.
Bye-bye. Woods is waving both of his hands. What is that? That's the bit. That's what Lane used to do. And then when Tuff Hedeman won the championship after Lane died, Tuff looked up at his widow and gave her that. Yeah. Weeping. I didn't know what eight seconds was until he said Lane Frost. And I was like, oh, yeah, Lane Frost. Okay. Great movie. Never. Don't know. Mikey, watch the movie. All I know is Jewel dates a guy in the rodeo. That's all I know. Tuff Hedeman. That was the dude. She dates that guy. That guy. Oh, wow. She married him, I think. Ty Murray. What? Yeah, they're married Ty Murray. They're married, yeah. Oh, Ty Murray. So it wasn't Tuff Hedeman. No. So I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Weird. Weird. Speaking Spanish to me right now. 570-1949. This guy's actually got a suggestion. M1 Kyle. Yeah, my sister has a Lady Smith. It's smaller for the lady's hand. Or for people like me. Or for Mikey. Or you could get a compact Sig Sauer 40. I would suggest getting one with a safety on it because most Glocks don't have safeties. So get one with a secondary safety and absolutely go to take classes. If you live in the North County, Ironsides up in Oceanside, take classes for that gun so you are not afraid of it. Absolutely. And go to the NRA and find out if they have children's classes for gun safety if you have kids.
That way your kids will not. Look at Lauren just got freaked out. It's true. She just fell out of her chair. Let me explain. For anybody that's freaking out, when I was a kid, see, part of the fear is the fear of the unknown. When I was a kid, my brother explained how they worked. And when you know how they work and you have respect for them and you know what they're capable of, it changes everything. When you know what they are, how dangerous they are, how dangerous they could be, what you do with them. that's what makes the difference. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. A lot of kids probably were. I knew how it worked. I knew how destructive it was. I still started fires on the reg. I did too. Mark that down right now. I did too, but at that same age I was taught about guns, I knew they killed people, so I wasn't shooting people on the reg. Yes, but fires kill people too. I know. flirting with danger. You'll flirt with anything with two legs. That's right. But if my parents had a gun, I might be like, nobody's standing here. I'm just going to try it. I don't know. I probably would have too, but we never did. I don't know. Luckily. You just know, man. You know they're way different. They're more dangerous. I guess maybe you do. I've never been exposed to them. We'll go shooting sometime. My wife hates. I want to take her.
My wife hates guns. I was always around guns. You won't go. My dad taught me, just respect the gun and you're fine. It's the truth, man. If you respect it, you will be good to go. Do you remember the story about a dick that disappeared the winter for the Canadian Olympics? Disappeared. Wait till we tell you where it turned up. Because we know now. See that intern from you? Internments? Accounting department? She's cute. She wears a retainer. It slays me. Listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. For over 80 years, USAA has served the financial needs of our soldiers, veterans, and their families. No matter where you are, you can handle your finances anytime with our secure online banking. From free ATMs nationwide to mortgages and cash bonuses when buying and selling your home through USAA's real estate program, USAA Bank provides a full financial suite of banking services.
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Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Mama Testa Taqueria, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. Maybe I should write a jingle. This is an important alert from the lawn desk. Yes, it's tough to grow grass around here. But when the growing gets tough, the tough get growing. So repeat after me. I want to grow grass. I can grow grass. And by golly, I will grow grass. How? Scott's Turf Builder Grass Seed with WaterSmart. Turf Builder has Scott's WaterSmart coating that absorbs and releases water to keep the seed moist longer than uncoated seed. So it grows, even if you miss a day of watering. And Scott's premium tall fescue mix was specially developed to survive heat and drought and thrive season after season. See, nothing can stop you. A long, hot summer can't stop you. A dry spell can't stop you. Insects can't stop you. Only you can stop you. And you're sure not going to stop you, are you? You're going to get Scott's turf builder grass seed with WaterSmart and start planting the seeds of success. That concludes this Lawn Desk Alert.
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Brought to you by Nissan. Get quality now. Get savings now. It's the Nissan Now sales event. The best deals ever on the best cars ever. The event ends soon. Get to a Nissan dealer now. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can back up like nobody's business into spots. What I can't do is parallel park. Woods. I drive fast. I smoke. I'm at the radio on. I'm on my phone. Lauren. I like fried chicken. Zienna. I love cruises. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9. Yes, yes. Yes. Is that Michael Irvin? He was in Boyz II Men? Yeah, Michael Irvin was in Boyz II Men. You don't like that? It tastes like there's crab in it. What? It tastes like there's crab meat. Did somebody use my... Mikey brought in carrot cake. Let me see. It tastes like there's crab meat in there. Mikey brought a carrot cake and everyone's been eating it. And now Wood's... There's no crab. Get the frosting. Wood usually has a dip in his mouth, can't taste anything. Is it a cream cheese frosting? Mikey's taking a bite. Mikey's taking a bite. It tastes fishy. Dude. Tastes like heaven. By crab, he means crack that he is smoking. Dude.
He's going back. Woods has just thrown off his headphones, ran back to the cake, and is retaking his bite. For someone that thought that tasted fishy, that was a big bite. You're crazy. It's not a lab of ruse to get a second bite of cake. Exactly. He just killed half of that cake right now. It's a combo of carrot cake and crab cake. That's what it is. It's delicious. Yeah. And you knocked out half of Unbended Knee with that little fiasco. Sorry. Did you not see my excitement when the song came on? What's the median age to have been into this song? Like, how old were you in this song? It's like right in my wheelhouse. Me too. 34. 34 to 39. Where were you when the song came out? I lived in Connecticut. This was like the dancing at high school dances with girls. Like your heart. Yeah. You were in high school? Yeah, I went to high school. You sure did. I'm thinking I think I was in fourth grade. Yeah. I bet you were. When did you graduate high school? What year? 2003. Okay, I graduated in 93. So 10 years. I was out of high school. When did you graduate high school, Mike Shannon? I didn't graduate. You didn't graduate high school? Didn't graduate from high school. GED? GED. When did you get your GED? What would have? Would have graduated in 88.
If you didn't say yes to GED, it would have gotten really awkward in here. Right? I almost didn't do that. Well, you're doing well for yourself. Mike, you've done fine, man. You're doing just great. I almost didn't do the GED. I'm glad you did. So am I. Oh, my dad would have killed me. I think that by suggestion, you can make people think stuff. If I said, that tastes like cucumber, that carrot cake, I believe, and I'm really adamant about it. You know why? Dude. Because you taste crab now. No, I don't. Yes, you do. I kind of do because you suggest. The power of suggestion. It's a crab cake carrot cake. It's so not. Will you try it? Sienna, did you try it? No, because I'm not that big of a carrot cake fan. I'm going to try it just because I'm curious. Because she wants to prove me wrong, but I'm telling you, it tastes. It doesn't even at all. It tastes like crab meat. No, but you're sitting there going like this, like, maybe there is. Yeah, you are. That's the power of suggestion. If I am really adamant and I'm like... There's crab in there, Mikey. That's my cucumber. There's crab in there. There's not. There's crab in there. Ew. When he whispers, it's annoying, huh? Mikey, there's crab in there. There's not. He's putting it in my head. Mikey, there's crab in there. No, there's not. Lauren had to take out her headphones. You can hear, like, the spit in his mouth against his lips. Don't worry about it. Lauren had a look at her face like, you know, somebody touched her inappropriately.
And you're being inappropriate. I'm going to make sure that gets into his head. It's in there. It's already in my head. You guys want to do, let's see, what can I give you? Oh, what about some of this? What if we were to pull some woods, woods, woods on you? I want to sing along. Can we sing along? No. Oh. Crab, crab, crab. No. Crab, crab, crab. Crab in the cake. Crab. Crab, crab, crab. I need a clean fork. Crab, crab, crab. You know how I am about germs. Crab in the cake. If Jay wasn't talking to himself right now, I would have him run and get a fork for each other. I got enough forks for everybody. I'm guessing somebody used two and threw them out. Nope. I just watched you throw it in the garbage. I threw one of them away. I hate everybody on the show. I'm done.
Is it 10 yet so I can go home and go to bed? Gosh. Every day is like a roast of me. It's true. You threw it away. Did I? Yes. Is it in there? There's pork in here. And Jay had some too. Try it with that knife. How about the guy? No, no, no. Pause. How about the dude that eats it and sticks it back in the cake for everybody to enjoy? How about that guy? Not a word about him, though. Not about him, though. Not a word about that guy. His cake. I don't know what we're yelling about! I'll just put my piece in there next time. How about that? The cake? That is disgusting. Might as well. Somebody took a bite and then stuck their fork back in the cake. But I'm the one that gets trouble for throwing my fork away. I'm trying it. Tastes like crab. Fishy. Yeah, she does. She's laughing.
It's because it's the power of suggestion. It's fishy cake. It's the power of suggestion. Fish cake, Mike. It's crabby. Yes. Yes. If Sienna agrees, you know I'm not lying. Tastes like crab. Power of suggestion. Sports with Woods. Here we go. Well, they have solved the case of the missing hockey stick. If you guys recall, we talked about. It's so crabby. It's not at all. That is so ridiculous. It's crabby. See what you've done to her? No, I didn't do it. You did that. The guy that put crab meat in your carrot cake did that. I didn't do it. Eat it. It's crabby. That cake has crabs. Ew. It doesn't. It does. It's delicious. It does. I told you. It's repugnant. More for us. Trust me, I would not agree with you. Can I finish my story? There is not one bit of... Crab. As he's feasting on it. I want to find that chef and he calls me, you know, Mikey, I actually do that a little crab. You know what? It's probably whale. It probably is whale. All right. Let's get our wheels. Let's take the wheels. Let's put them back on. You're yelling at me like it's my fault. He's yelling at me. I'm here like with my stories ready to go. Don't let me eat cake, would you? Don't let me eat that. Okay.
They've solved the case of the missing hockey stick. If you guys remember, Sidney Crosby won the gold medal for Canada. But after he lost the stick that scored the goal and his gloves. Right. Turns out somebody grabbed the stick. They put it in the wrong bin. And it was being shipped to the International Hockey Hall of Fame, which is in Russia. They get fired. They found it. Here's how they did it. It's kind of cool. They took a picture of it and they sent it to Sidney. Like, this is your stick. Really? Yep. That looks like my stick. Send it back. So they sent it back. Funnily enough, too, after the game, they're in the locker room. You got a little crab on your lip. After the game. Mikey does not know when you say funnily. It's like, what? It's a word. Funnily enough. Dude, GED boy. I got my English degree from Loyola. I know you do, and so that's why I don't question it. You're questioning me. I didn't say. Oh, word. I raise an eyebrow every time you say funnily, too. All I did was look at you like you're nuts. That's all I did. I didn't actually say anything, though. Funnily enough. Strangely enough, one of the gloves that he wore ended up in a teammate's bag. Right. From the team. This teammate plays in the NHL for the Bruins. Gets back to Boston and is like, oh, dude, I took your glove. So he sent him the glove back, too. So as you guys know.
Hell, maybe you don't know. The March Madness tournament is starting soon. And I'm going to get us all set up this weekend. Let's do it. It starts March 16th in Dayton, Ohio. And we need to figure out prizes and whatnot, but we will be having a Mikey Show March Madness. I love it. Bracket tournament. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to know anything about anything to do it. Well, maybe you do. And there's your worst sports ever heard on the radio, I think. You don't have to know anything because... Not true. It really is always one of, you get those Cinderella teams that will win. That's why you don't have to know anything. Sometimes it doesn't matter. Yeah, but you have to know a little bit of something. No, you really don't. I'm going to do it. You just guess. I know nothing. I know nothing about college basketball. What is she doing? Susanna. She wants in, dude. You know why. Come in. Probably because you guys were all making fun of me the whole day.
Hi, Susanna. Hi, Susanna. Hi, Susanna. What's the matter? Susanna. What are you doing? Oh, wow. I got a shout out. Yeah. What are you guys? Back off of Woodsy's bag. Thank you. Well, he was saying that that carrot cake that I brought in tastes like crab, which is ridiculous, Susanna. It totally does. It sounds kind of ridiculous, but I don't think I'd taste it. What? Oh, wait, wait, wait. Wow. She's speaking Mandarin. I didn't understand that last part. Because it was Mandarin Chinese. It wasn't Mandarin Chinese. It wasn't? No. It was English. Sorry. This is Mandarin Chinese, bro. Okay, Susanna, can you take your retainer out? Uh-oh. Oh, that was a lot of spit. That was a lot. Sorry. Oh, there we go. I was saying that I can't taste the carrot cake with my retainer in, but I'll take a little bite now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take a little bite. Okay. What do you think, Susanna? It's delicious, right? Isn't that great? It's so delicious. See, I thought it was delicious, too. But, you know, the thing is, I really love crabs. So, to me, it's just a perfect... Oh, really? Oh, really? Oh, really? That was all just to go with what's... Vindicated. It tastes like... Is that crab cake from, like, the Chesapeake Bay or something? It's delicious. It's carrot cake.
It's carrot cake. She thought it was a crab cake. Oh, no. That's supposed to be dessert, hon, not appetizer. You know what, Susanna? First of all, I have a couple of questions for you. I think the audience would like to know. Okay. Do you mind if I... Put your retainer back in? That'd be great. I really don't like looking at it sitting next to me either. Sorry, Wood. It's okay, hon. Okay. Okay, so Susanna. Susanna is a very attractive girl that works in our accounting department. She's an intern in the accounting department. She's a 10. She's definitely as... What? Yeah. She's a 10. She's a 10. She's a 10. Here's my question for you, though, Susanna. Yes. You obviously are fond of Woodsy.
Oh, extremely fond of Woodson. Yeah. And so my question is, what is it? I mean, I think he's handsome and he's charming and everything, but you're so... Here's the thing. Huh? Okay. Because... I'm getting a lot of weird looks around the office because of this retainer. It's not... Because of the what? The retainer. She gets weird looks around the office because of her retainer. Thank you, Sienna. I had a retainer once, too. Yeah, and it's especially for 27. Wait, wait, wait. Especially for someone who's 27. Especially for someone who's 27. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Right, right. It's just a little bit embarrassing. Just a little bit embarrassing. Got it. Considering most people had it in fifth grade. That's true. Yeah, definitely. That's exactly where I'm coming from. And you're not that age. No, I'm 27. So what is the deal with Woods? Well, I was in the break room.
She was in the break room. She was in the break room. I just put my 60 cents in the machine. Wait a minute. She just put her 60 cents in the vending machine. Yes. And I was trying to get the Snickers bar out. She wanted the Snickers. Why don't you take the retainer out just for a second? Okay. Here we go. Okay. So I was trying to get the Snickers bar out of the machine. And I was just like, oh, come on. It's my last 60 cents. At the time... She's an intern, don't forget. Yeah, and the machine would only take exact change. I was just like, ah, so frustrating. And in comes, in comes... Wow, she just flipped her hair back, her beautiful blonde hair. My night. Mr. Steven Woods. Oh, stop him with that. And so what did he do? Yes, on his white horse. Yeah. Well, why did you tell him what you did, Steven? You put your retainer back in. What did you do then? I mean, the Snickers was dangling. I just walked up and gave it a... Like a Fonzie. He looked at me and the thing, of course, fell immediately. I just gave it a...
She was there looking at it. It kind of went over her shoulder and gave it a pop. Oh, good move. Right over her shoulder. You must have loved that. It was so awesome. I didn't even say anything to her. I just walked out. She was looking at me in awe. Actually, he goes, there you go, kid. There you go, kid. Yeah, it was awesome because I was feeling really self-conscious and it gave me... It gave me some confidence. So my question, it gave her what? It gave her some confidence. Yes. Thank you, Sienna. What did you, it looks like you've been, there's something out in the hallway. Oh, yes. There's two things out in the hallway. There is? What is that? Yes. Well, I was hearing guys talk about how Woods doesn't have any furniture. Sienna. He was hearing how we were talking about Woods. First of all, it's a she. She, sorry. She was hearing how we were talking. Yeah. That Woods doesn't have any furniture. You know, he just moved here from Texas. He has a new place. No furniture. Right. Okay. Go ahead, Susanna. Yeah. And then I, so I took that into consideration. And then I heard you guys talking about whittling and stuff like that. Yeah, Sienna.
She heard us talking about whittling. Yeah. We were talking about how Lauren and I like to whittle. And I chew on everything. So Jay said, maybe you could whittle us a totem pole. Yeah. Because he's going to bring me in a giant block of wood. And I'm going to do like a Mikey show caricature. Like a beaver. It's going to be like Mount Rushmore. But with the Mikey show, I'm going to chew it. I'm going to whittle it with my teeth. So Susanna heard that. And what did you do? Well, I took the liberty of... Did she do? She took the liberty of... I whittled a sable. Four was... I whittled a stable. She whittled a stable? A stable. A stable, like for horses. You didn't own any. A table. Oh, a fable. A fable, like a little children's. No, Aesop. It's a table. Okay. Uh-oh. Guys, I whittled... Oh, you whilled him something. You put something in your will for him. I'm so tongue-tied. I know it. I whittled a table. Oh, my gosh. That is so nice of you. How do you do something like that? Coffee table. What an incredibly thoughtful thing for you to do. Can I put this back in now? Yes. You guys are giving me a hard time. I'm not at all. I totally feel my teeth shifting. I know. Go ahead. You don't want that to happen. So I whittled a table and then a couch. Oh, Sienna. And then she also whittled a house. Oh, you whittled a couch.
You whittled an entire house for him because you know that the kid needs a plate. She knitted a couch. Yes. She knitted a couch? She knitted me an entire couch. Yes. Wow. Oh, my gosh. That's so crazy. It sounds like Woods. It almost sounded like Woods said she knitted him an entire couch. I know. She did. I did. You did? That's what I said. With stuffing and everything? Yes. You knitted him out of yarn? You made him a couch? Yes. Is that what that is out in the hall? Yes. And I had to rent a truck last night. He got a little over here. That guy, the tan guy out there with the muscles. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. He helped me boost it in. What did he do, Sienna? He helped her boost it in. Okay, yeah. And I think somebody had a question. Why? Besides yourself? What? Oh, she's blushing. Look at that. She's blushing. I'm just messing with you, kid. being nice. I'm just returning a favor. Sienna, I didn't understand a word. She said she was just being nice and returning a favor because Woods helped her with a baby. I helped her with a candy bar. She knitted me a couch. Got it. Yes. That's really nice, Susanna. Yeah, I saw how happy you were when I made the scramble spasters and the spanner dictionary for breakfast. She saw how happy Woods was. When she gave him a springer spaniel. No, no, no. When she made him the egg scramble for breakfast. Oh.
A scramble for breakfast. That's right. So she likes to seem happy, apparently. What about us? Yeah, you're going to do anything for us. You guys are great. Oh, wow. Great. That was underwhelming. All right, well, Susanna, thanks for coming in. It's always nice to see you. Thank you, guys. It's really nice. This is, like, amazing. I never thought that. I would have airtime with a thing in my mouth. So it's like. Did she just say she never thought she had airtime without singing through her nose? No, without the thing in her mouth, the retainer. She never thought. So funny. That's right. See you later. Okay, bye guys. We'll see you later. She's a 10. Oh, we love her. It's just, you know, if I wasn't married and. That retainer. Well, she's beautiful. Came out. If I wasn't married and she didn't talk that way. Well, why would the retainer stop you, Woods? I mean, the retainer shouldn't stop you at all. Man, when the retainer comes out. Dude. Gosh, what a voice. Lauren, where you been? I couldn't. The doorway is blocked. There's like a couch. There's like a couch out there made of yarn. And a table out there. A whole couch made of yarn. How are you going to give that stuff home, buddy? I don't know. Probably Jay. No. I'm out. I'm out, dude.
I'll help you. There you go. Tickle fight on the couch. I can do it. I can do it. Yeah, Jay, what? Yep, tickle fight on the couch. Tickle fight you're on the couch, dude. Nope. Come on. Challenge you right now to a tickle butterfly. I'm not doing butterfly kisses with you, dude. I ain't asking for you to do butterfly kisses with me. A butterfly fight is us rubbing our eyelashes on each other from really close. I'm out. How about a feather duel? Two feathers, just tickling. Let's do a feather door, boo. I don't know what that is. It doesn't sound good. We take peacock feathers. All right. What are you laughing already? Like a fluffer. Yeah, you take a peacock feather. I don't even know what she's talking about. I don't either. You take the feather. And you try to make the other person giggle with it. I don't want to do that with another dude. Dude, man, you're weird. It'd be funny. It'd be so good. Don't knock it till you try it, Woods. And you said you'd do anything for the sake of the show, Woods. Not that. Come on. Why don't we go look at girls in their bikinis and then we'll have this. First, we'll do that. That's a good idea. You would tickle fight if there was girls in bikinis. I wouldn't do it in front of girls in bikinis. Yes, you would. No, I wouldn't.
I promise. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. Every time he says that, I have to tickle him. I don't like it. 570-1949 is our number. 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see where we are on the Facebook page, on the Mikey Show fan page, the 7,000th person. Sound like Susanna. Yeah, I know it. Take your retainer out, Mike. We are at 6,000. 968 fans. Oh, wow. 32 more? That's amazing, man. 32 more. Hey, Miguel. Yep. I'm looking at the dictionary and funnily is in there and it's an adverb, dude. I saw that. There you go. We're not doubting that it's a word. I was 100% doubting that it was a word. Yeah, exactly. 100% doubting. And now you'll start using it. I knew that it was a word, but I just...
You use it all the time. And how many times do you need to use the word funnily? Yeah, I knew it was a word. I thought it was being used incorrectly. Funnily enough. I'm going to use it every day now. You already do. How do you spell it? F-U-N-N-I-L-Y. And then enough is E-N-O-U-G-H. Yeah. Funnily enough. And their song, funnily it happened to me. Yeah. That is. Appreciate the song. There you go. Thanks, Jay, for having my back. Is that the... Is that the Weir's Miriam's Webster? Does it matter? Is that the clown? What? Which dictionary are you using? Is that the clown dictionary? Let's see. So last night on Letterman, Jessica Simpson was on. And I don't know if you know this, but Dave used to make jokes about her weight. Now, you know, there was this deal where people said, oh, Jessica Simpson's gained a lot of weight. And so I heard that and started making jokes about it every night. That's okay. And I never even saw you. You made women feel horrible about themselves all around the world, but that's okay. That's why I'm here. Wow. Nice, Jess. Zing. So then he asked her, what was the weight gain about? Well, normally you would think that I would become...
anorexic after what everybody was saying about me, but I just decided to eat more. Yeah. You go, girl. I like her. I did, too. I was reading over the recap emails. And Lauren came out of the grocery store and was bombarded by the Girl Scouts. Now, this is happening right now, okay? It's the season. They're almost gone. It's the season. And I feel... Very, very awkward saying no. Are you guys like this or is it just me? No, it's easy. You pick up your cell phone. Fake call bit. I feel awful. I don't want to lie. Fake call. Check your voicemail. They're not lying. Check your voicemail as you're walking out. That's not lying. That's true. You're checking your voicemail. You know what? Woods is right. I think I'm going to start. I just gave you an out. Oh, that's not bad. That's not bad at all. They've got a comeback, though, for everything that you say.
Oh, I already have enough. Well, you can freeze them. You can never have too many. Duh. Easy toots. I don't want any more. Siena has breaking news. Yeah, there were three strong earthquakes in Chile this morning. Uh-oh. Yes, the first hit at 11.39 a.m. Chilean time. Then 16 minutes later was another, and 27 minutes later was another. And the first one was a 7.2 magnitude earthquake. Really? Yes. Jeez, man. It was happening just as the country was swearing in the new president. Oh, wow. Yeah. Poor man. She's like, man, what do I get myself into now, dude? That's crazy. A female teacher in Burbank has turned herself in after a relationship with her student. Wait till I tell you how old he was. Oh, dear. Got an email to do for you. And we're going to tell you what we thought of the movie we saw yesterday. That's right. Every Wednesday, the Mikey Show goes to see a movie. This is what we saw yesterday. Alice Kingsley, will you be my wife? Is that Alice and what?
Wonderland, Michael. Yes, it is, Woods. Yes, it is. That's Alice in Wonderland. That's right. Have you seen the Jabberwocky, Michael? Well, you know, the Jabberwocky is almost impossible to kill. I cannot see him anywhere. You know what the most incredible part of a movie like that is? What is the end? Probably. I can't understand anything they say. I did not understand a word. Couldn't understand one thing they say. Next. On FM 94.9. Now you can.
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Firewood Road, we've got a disabled vehicle sitting on that off ramp. This report also brought to you by the Port of San Diego. You could sail away from San Diego with Carnival Cruise Line, Holland America, Celebrity, or Royal Caribbean. For a list of departures, check out SanDiegoCruisePort.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. If you're a Mikey Show listener, you are... M1. Somebody asked me the other day, what does that stand for? What does that mean, M1? I go, it means a Mikey show listener. If you're an M1 and you're a part of the M1 Nation. The M1 Nation, if they call into the show, turns their radio down, gets the point, doesn't cuss, you know the rules. Listen to us exclusively. You listen to us exclusively. You listen for long periods of time.
And we appreciate your listenership for helping the show to grow. Very much. So thank you. Let's see. We are very close on the Mikey Show fan page to 7,000 people. The 7,000th person is going to get to come into the studio. I think we'll get there before the end of the show today. I think we are too. Maybe we'll announce you on air if you're the 7,000th. Yeah, because we only need 20 more people. Just saying. Can we do that? Yeah, sure. Yeah, we could. If we find them. Hey, keep track of that. Yeah, you can. You just click on the thing and it shows you how they're joining. If you go to they.com, there's a program that you can run. If you click on see all, it'll show you. It'll show you the most recent person that became your fan. Yeah. And so the last one will be the one that gets come in. 570-1949. Or you can text messages.
949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Oh, and if you want to do that, just go on your Facebook in the search button. Just type in The Mikey Show and the version of The Mikey Show that comes up that has 6,980 fans. Oh, 20 more? We're definitely going to get that within the next couple minutes. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think we will. How long do you think it'll take? Over or under 20 minutes? Under. Over. I think under. No? You guys? Oh, by the way, people are going crazy with the Photoshop. Yes, they are. They're going crazy with the Photoshop. They've been Photoshopped in everything. Yeah. I want to see what M1 animator is going to bring to the table. It's going to be. Yeah. I'm talking about it. I want to see it. Yeah, he's saying he's really good at it. He just chimed in that he was going to have to put some work in. That's right. See what you can do, Tay-Tay, my brother. Let's see. Love that. M1Lea just texted in. Said the best part of your show is that I feel like I'm sitting in my living room hanging out with my friends. I love it. Best compliment ever. Ever. That's exactly what we want. That's right. That's exactly what we're shooting for. Very cool. Thank you. Mikey, just wanted to thank all of you guys. I officially will never eat carrot cake ever again. You are welcome. Without thinking that it tastes like crab. Way to go, Woods.
LOL, you guys crack me up. Love y'all. M1 booster. Awesome. It's the power of suggestion. It really, no. Was it? I'm telling you. It tastes like crab. It doesn't. It tastes exactly the aftertaste. A crab would say that tasted like me. He'd say that tastes like me. And a carrot would say that tastes like him. Susanna even thought it was a crab cake. Susanna thought it was a crab cake. Susanna is desperately trying. To do things to that guy right there, okay? That's actually true. So, a female teacher in Burbank. Yep. And this is, I mean, it's so strange. How come all of those teachers are always young, beautiful women? Yeah, look at her. What's the deal? Let's see her. Yeah, she's cute. They're always cute. Can I just say, most of the time they're, well, people freak out. I'm just making an observation. The last three, go ahead, Lauren. Sorry to interrupt. We're at 7,002 fans. Oh, my. Really? That took one second. That took like a minute. We're at 7,002. Wow. Best fans ever. Best fans ever. Nice. Love you guys. 7,012. Oh, really? 7,012. So we will get the 7,000th and congratulate them in just a moment. 7,018. Wow. Get out of here.
This is amazing. That's insane. All you have to do is refresh and it gives up like 20. Let's see if we can get to 8,000 by the end of the show. Can we get to 10,000? Do I hear a 10,000? Seriously. That's awesome. Yeah. Dude, everybody's going to be stoked for that. 7,020. It's going to be awesome. 7,021. So what happened was there's a middle school teacher in Burbank, L.A. area. She was a teacher at the David Starr Jordan Middle School. Her name is Amy Victoria Beck. She's 33 years old. And they're always about 33 years old. Yeah, she's a really cute blonde. I mean, good looking lady. That was the observation. The last few have been cute. They've been cute blondes. Yeah. Yeah, well, she has been charged with four counts of unlawful sex with a person under the age of 16. She was in court yesterday. Her arraignment was scheduled for March 25th, but she's facing up to seven years in state prison. And by under the age of 16, I'm talking a 14-year-old boy. Whoa. Yes, they had a six-month relationship. Not just one time. Is there a double standard on this? Because if we heard the reverse, we would all be up in arms. Well, you heard about the kid's arm, right?
Just located from high-fiving. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Patting himself on the back. Well, seriously. I mean, as a guy, that's what the thing is. You know, that's what the culture says. Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, I don't know. What do you ladies think about it? When you guys hear that story, do you say to yourselves, that filthy pervert should be locked up for the rest of her life? Is that the thought that comes into your head? Be honest. I don't think that filthy pervert. Unfortunately, I think I think like, what was she thinking? What is she doing? 33-year-old man has sex with a 14-year-old girl. Married to him. Weird. Oh, my gosh. Okay. That got really weird. Really, really weird. I was 21. My husband's a lot older. And you're being inappropriate. Well, that got so weird. What's the age difference? Oh, come on. Everybody grow up. What's the matter with you people? I was joking. Come on. Don't you know a joke when you hear one? Don't you, guys? Is it 17? No. No, we're 13 and a half.
Years apart. They're 13 and a half years apart. There's no reason for everybody to freak out because she's blushing right now. I thought it was funny. Well, you guys reacted and I thought like I said something really bad about him. And so I'm like, no, no, no. I was joking. Don't you not joke when you hear one? I'm going to get a t-shirt made that says that. What's the matter with you people? I was joking. I was joking. So you would think though, if somebody said that a 33 year old man, you know what? And here's the other thing. Okay. So. 33-year-old female, cute, blonde woman. Okay. 33-year-old, balding, middle-aged, just a mustache guy. Okay? Overweight guy. Sicko. White guy. Disgusting. White guy, just a mustache. Get out. You know, he's got, like, the cul-de-sac for hair. Right? 33 years old. You know, and they give. First, middle, and last name. So it's like, you know, Mark David Chapman. Right. Okay. Ronnie Lee Bailey. You know, when they do that, when they do the first, okay. You're like, yep.
Okay, and they say, 33-year-old man, they show his picture, and it's like him in booking, right? Yeah. You know, getting his picture. And he had sex with a 14-year-old. You guys would be like, that guy should go to jail. We'd be calling out the mob. You're like, just let's go. Down to the courthouse. Men and women. I still think she should go to jail. And I think, I'm not a mother, but I think if I was a mother of a 14-year-old, I might feel a little bit more like she was a... Perv McGurv. Now, but how do you feel about her now? Do you have those kind of strong feelings that I just mentioned? Like, not off the bat, I don't get that. And I know, it's a total double standard. It's so strange. What does the dad of that guy think? Is the dad like, hey, great work, kid. I don't know. Who knows? I don't know. The girl looks, the woman looks like she's young. Yeah, she does. She looks like she's 17. Really? Yeah. Look at this picture closely. She's really cute, man. That's sad. She admitted to having a relationship, too. Yeah. Well, she's not 17. She's 33. No, I know. It's not okay. I don't think... She looks 17. You don't think, oh, you're disgusting. I know. But you think, what were you thinking? What were you thinking? You can't do that. That's wrong. That's bad and it's wrong. No. Let's see. What else we got? Oh. Okay, so let's talk about that movie yesterday. Finally! Please. You've been dying. It's like I've been sitting on a rocket.
Well, first of all, M1 Canada is coming in tomorrow. And I saw that she messaged us on Facebook, said that she loved it. Now, we're going to go around the room. We're going to give it however many stars we want to give it out of five. We saw Alice in Wonderland starring Johnny Depp. And we can give, you know, a quarter. We can give it a quarter, half, three quarter or a full star, whatever we want to do. So out of five stars, I give it. One star. Wow. Sienna. You liked Valentine's Day more? Oh, yeah. I think I liked Youth Revolting more. I'm going to say, from what I saw, which was about half of the movie, two and a half stars. Two and a half out of five? Yeah. Woodsy. Really?
He's not going to give it. Zero. Zero stars? Zero. You haven't given zero stars yet. One star. One star. For the cinematic visualness. We'll go to Lauren last because she picked it. Jay? I'm going to say three just because I didn't get parts of it for sure, but I did love the way it looked. You don't speak Jabberwocky, do you? And then I did a little dance at the end is all I'm going to say. Lauren O'Brien. Am I allowed to give commentary afterwards? Yeah, we're all going to comment. I say two and a half. Two and a half out of five? Yeah. I gave it one because I didn't get any of it. Really? I didn't get one bit of it. I didn't understand. You don't speak nerd fantasy, huh? Dude, I'm just... Do you not? Because I don't either. Listen. Michael, I don't speak nerd fantasy, Michael. It's not nerd fantasy. Is it not? It's an old children's family. Michael, have you ever eaten mushrooms and fallen down a rabbit hole? I would have given it a five if that would have been the case. Because that's what happened. Ever. That was torture. I was rocking back and forth. I was like, come on. There was a point where Woods' head was on my shoulder. Yes. Like, sleeping. All I'm saying is, first of all, I don't know anything about Alice in Wonderland. Nothing. See, that's part of the problem. And as soon as it started and you, about five minutes into it, ten minutes, you turned to me and said,
I tapped you on the shoulder. I tapped her with my index finger. I tapped her on the shoulder. She turned and looked at me and I go, excuse me. What's happening right now? Seriously. No clue. My favorite part was when Mikey said, I'm getting White Castle. And he got up and left. Oh, you said that? I didn't know that. Right before the movie, Woods was like, dude, Mike, they got White Castle here. Yeah, White Castle. Here's Mikey's chair the whole time, too. I was lucky enough to sit between Woods and Mikey, and the whole time, every time Tweedledee and Tweedledum would come on, a dumber, they would both crack up. Well, I said, because Tweedledee and Tweedledum are these two rotund little bald dudes with suspenders. And so I go, oh, look, it's two Michael Shannons, which is what I used to call myself back in the 90s when I was, you know. morbidly obese and used to wear suspenders. I was sleeping during that part when you said that, but when I woke up and I saw them on the screen and Woods was laughing later, I instantly knew why. Two Michael Shannons just running through the forest. And of course, on the Mikey Show fan page on Facebook, people are hard at work with Photoshop to make that happen. Brilliant. But, yeah, when they were talking like this, a lot of the times, dude, it was like, it sounded like this to me.
Where have you found the sword? You're from Darwin Dett? I'm like, what? Was Johnny Depp supposed to have a Scottish accent? He was, it was muddled. It was Irish, it was Scottish, and... then he would talk with a lift like this. Yeah, it was Johnny Depp. I didn't get it. I guess Mad Hatter is mad and he talks in 15 different languages. You didn't notice that? I did. Because then he'd be like, oh, on top of the morning, you know? It was weird. And listen, people are going to slay me for this, but every time, you know, Johnny Depp plays that same character in 80 movies, so he comes out, oh, look, it's Edward Scissorhands. Oh, look, it's the guy from this movie. Oh, it's Beetlejuice. Oh, it's this. Captain Jack Sparrow. Captain Jack Sparrow. That was Michael Keaton. Nice try. But you know what I'm saying, though? It's always that dude. Tim Burton weird. Tim Burton weird guy. Did you say Michael Keaton? Yes. They're on the same level, though, Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. He's brilliant. You have to get it. I mean, Depp's brilliant. But those movies, I just don't understand. Here's the thing. I've read the Lewis Carroll books. Weird. That weird. Lewis Carroll. That's crazy. You have to. If you didn't know just the.
outline of the story, seeing that movie, you'd be very confused, which I think that you were, Mike. I was, and I didn't understand the words that were coming out of their mouth. Well, the one thing I liked about it, and this is why it didn't get fewer stars, they used some of the actual verbiage from the books. You mean like... My wife goes, what didn't you like about it? I go, babe. It literally sounded like this to me. You were out from the first five minutes. I tried, though, LLB. I tried. He did try. I watched him. I wanted to want it. I was out from 30 seconds, and I was like... Kill me. Kill me. Kill me. Kill me. At the very beginning, I thought, this is going to be really good. Yeah. And then she fell down the rabbit hole and things got a little crazy. And I was instead of talking caterpillar. It was very Tim Burton-esque. Like, I felt the graphics were amazing. Like, if you think of where movies are now. But to me, it was like, it was too Tim Burton-like.
dark and drab and not enough of like the fantastical sort of things that can happen. This is what happened in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Yeah, wasn't he the same character though? No, but like they overdo it and make it just weird. Is your name Augustus Gloop? Yeah, no, it's Charlie. Look, it's Veronica. Same bit. Off with his head. I marked this down. I hate. Fantasy. So much. So much. I see. I like some of it. Oh, my gosh. I like some of it, but that I didn't understand. If it couldn't happen, I'm pretty much out on it. I mean, I loved Star Wars and stuff when I was a little kid, but this stuff, dude, come on. Hey, people are calling in. Losing it? No, they're calling in about other stuff. Now they're calling in about the hooking up with their teacher. Oh. M1 Jesse? I mean, I love it. That's not an M1. That's not an M1. An M1 turns his radio down. Do we have to boot him? Yeah. No, he can come back. Now he's learned. Yeah, turn your radio down. You turn your radio down, get to the point, don't cuss. That's an M1. All we say is, know the rules. M1 John. Hey, Pete. What's up? All right. You know, I was thinking about that story you just said. You know, I'm 48. My wife is 24. Yeah. And I was just thinking about all that stuff that's going on with the other stuff.
That kind of sounds like a relationship without malice. You know what I mean? Yeah, can you hang on a second there, John? Just hang on just a moment. Because I'm just taking note of the fact that you said, I'm 48, she's 24, and Sienna yelled out. Yeah! Like she was at a monster truck show. Yeah, Bigfoot! You get them! Get her done! Get her done. Age is just a number as long as it's legal. Yeah, that's true. That's what I say, okay? Yeah. That a boy. Holy cow. For a second, I thought the Kool-Aid guy broke through the wall. Oh, yeah. Hey, Kool-Aid. You want some of this? I guess, man. Well, John, how did that happen?
Well, you know, it was kind of one of those weird things that happened. I was staying at a place, and she was like a housekeeper, and we kind of hooked up. We had a lot in common. She was very mature of her age, and, you know, believe it or not, it was just those things that happened, and we were very cautious about, you know, what she liked, what I liked, you know, what's her future about, what's my future about. It didn't bother you that she didn't know what Elton John meant? Well, no. No, no, no. Not at all. Because she doesn't listen to Elton John. She's like, what's JFK? Excuse me. The airport? What is that? What is it? I don't understand. Hey, dude, you can't bust his chops because he's 48, she's 24. That's pretty awesome. He's stoked. Yeah. Stop it, Michael Esparza. There's nothing wrong. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Holy cow. She's really excited about that. That Todd is 18 years, 13 years older. 13 years a senior. No, I've just learned to live with it. It's a number. Who cares?
We're married. Go ahead. If I have a daughter and she's 18 and she's dating a 36-year-old, I'm going to flip out. Flip out. My mom and dad are 10 years apart. My grandma and grandpa are 13 years apart. Friends in my family. Gallops in your family. Exactly. M1 Jessie. Hey. What's up? Well, I... I have never exactly experienced that kind of age difference, but I dated a guy in my 20s that had dated his teacher in high school for like a year and a half. And he was straight screwed up from the date. It was a very short-lived adventure because it did. I mean, I think there's a huge difference in what you're talking about, like a marriage with a 13, 15, even 20-year gap between two adults and an adult dating somebody who has never had to. Absolutely. That's absolutely true. By cigs. Hey, listen, it's true because they're not, they're just not mentally prepared. That's a good point, man. No, they're on a totally different page. I mean, he's like explaining to me that he used to spend hours rubbing her feet while she'd do her checkbook, like do her bills and stuff. And he was, you know, I'm like, well, why don't you pay your bills? He's like, because she always did that. He's like, go find your mommy, honey. I'm out.
That's weird. Tell them to git. Git. I think that's a lot more common than we think. No question. I know numerous guys who lost their virginity to girls that were a lot older. Really? When they were... Not their teachers, but when they were in high school. Not the design. Not the design. Not the design. Thank you, Jessie. Uh-huh. Bye-bye. Appreciate it. Let's see. She makes a good point. So... I want to talk about that thing that we were talking about off the air the other day. And I think it was L.O.B. I don't remember if it was L.O.B. or Sienna, but one of you guys were talking about, and I don't know, maybe I should ask off the air if we can talk about it. What? Hold up a sign. All right. I'm going to write it down. While he's writing? Because I just don't know if you guys are comfortable discussing it. Yeah. You'll discuss it? Why don't you ask the kid? What if he's not comfortable? I don't know. Well, you're comfortable with everything. Pretty sure you're comfortable with everything. That's true. But, well, we'll tell you. Here's what we're going to do. Does it involve me? We'll do this. Okay. We're going to take a little time out. This has got really heavy in here. It's not heavy. It isn't heavy. It's just one of those deals where I just want to make sure that you are okay, that we're okay discussing it. I just yad a man who is 20 years older than his wife. Oh, yeah.
I'm pretty sure I'm okay with it. We'll talk about it next. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. If you're in the market for a new car, here are some important things to consider.
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Some of us have families who do. As we serve our country, we also buy cars, finance homes, educate our children, and plan for retirement. During it all, Navy Federal is there. For over 75 years, they've been there. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. Navyfederal.org, equal housing lender. FM 94.9 presents Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Saturday, March 13th at the House of Blues. With the Wigs. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Saturday, March 13th at the House of Blues. Tickets available now at livenation.com. Now, more of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. I said that's super true. Yeah, yeah. You got that right, bud. You also know who it ain't. I didn't even say that it was. Yeah, you didn't. Welcome back. 570-1949 is the number. And you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Me and Lauren. So did you know... Okay, well, okay, so we talked about it. And I didn't know if Lauren was going to be cool with talking about this. And she said, yeah, yeah, yeah, she'll tell. Do you think Matt was going to come beat you up or something? I thought that you would be like, oh, that's a story that maybe... Because I don't know if he knows.
I don't think he'd care. I think he'd be flattered, but... Yeah. Yeah, he never cares about that kind of stuff. You're going to talk about his pecs. Please, no. No, no, no. Okay. No. He's got great pecs. That was weird. That was really uncomfortable. Then you give Frankie a hard time. Yeah. That poor guy. If he wasn't taking a macrame couch down to... Macrame. Down to Woods' car right now. My apartment's going to look like Three's Company. It's got macrame and couches made of yarn. So, Lauren, tell a story of what happened the other day. Well, my sister had a baby on Monday. Yay! Congratulations. But I was in the hospital and I was in the waiting room and I'm just kind of like peeking through the doors because it's separate. It's not like it is on TV. It's separate of where the actual, you know. maternity ward is so i'm just like sitting on the little like cylindrical chair trying to keep looking through the door to see what's going on and there's this guy in the waiting room and he's like creeping around like hands in his pockets kicking the floor and he's like so uh what are you doing you're waiting for your boyfriend i'm like no actually my sister's having a baby and then he's like oh and his eyes light up
Because it's like he saw that as his window to go in. It's called an in. Yeah, exactly. That's what we call it in the biz. An in. In the guy biz. It's an in. There's nothing creepier than when a guy starts off conversations and he went in for your boyfriend. I know. It's like, dude. No, the worst, the creepiest part of that is the so. The first word. So. With the head. The head. The head kickback. The head. So. So. Yeah, so means that in his head, he's played this out already. It's got it scripted. Yeah, and he finally went for the, well, I think I've thought this out. Yep. So. So. You know what so also translates to? You look like a pork chop to me. I want to devour. I want to devour you like a pork chop. He's such a creep. And he's making like. Awkward, inappropriate conversation with me, clearly hitting on me. And I'm just kind of like, I'm looking past him, looking through him. And then, you know, finally I see the nurse come out. So I was like, finally, I can ditch this guy. And he, like, it just occurred to me. I'm like, is he just lurking around the hospital? Like, just trying to pick up women? Is this his bit? I was nowhere near that hospital. It wasn't me. Well, this brought up when we all started talking about this is.
awkward places that women will get hit on there's a bunch you know and it's it's you know it's the men that do the hitting on so it's always women that get hit on in the weird places not always Eh, men sometimes, but most of the time it's the ladies. 98% of the time. You think it's as high as 2% of men getting hit on by women? Yes. Maybe as high. I think it's higher for sure. Fine, 4%. It's just from my vantage point, which is 5'6". It never happens, okay? I'm just saying it never has happened. You've never been hit on? Never. Except for Beamer Girl. But other than Beamer Girl. You are full of it. I agree with Sienna. I've never been hit on by a woman. My wife says that she, there was one time that she thought that I was hit on by a girl. And it was a mistake. It was actually a mistake. She was looking for another short, Latino, bald dude. Yes. With tiny hands. No, she was looking for a gardener. She was like, hey.
Can you pick strawberries? Do you know how to pick strawberries? And I was like, I'm a disc jockey. I'm a disc jockey. Oh, you look just like my boyfriend, Jose. But you're not him. Guys get hit on a lot. More than you think. A lot more these days. She said, hey, can I ask you a question? What's Oz like? I don't know. I don't know what it is. So you were on Fantasy Island, right? Yes, yes, I was. So funny. But, I mean, there's got to be girls that know what I'm talking about. Like, there's a time and place. I mean, we get hit on at awkward places. But there are just some places where it's like, okay, really? Probably a funeral would be a bad place. Yeah, when you're out with your mom. Oh, yes. Yeah, that's happened to me before. I think I've tried that move before. And I'm like, oh, there's nothing more awkward. Can I ask you, Sienna? What? Was the line that, hey, what are you and your sister doing here? Hey, is that your big sister? Because I was with my mom. I'm trying to remember where we were, but I just remember being so uncomfortable. And my mom was like not right next to me, but she was in the general vicinity. I think it was at a party or something. And I was just like, oh, and I could see that she was looking at me. We were talking. She was like smiling. And I'm like, mom. So question. What do you think the mom's perspective on that is? Is mom.
Or is mom weirded out? Oh, my mom is so proud. It's a proud thing. Anytime someone says something about how I look in a good way, my mom's like, oh, yeah. She's very proud. So if a guy was hitting on you in front of her, she would encourage it. She would encourage it. She'd be like, oh, so this is, yeah, her name is Sienna. Really? Yep. That's funny. What's another, I want to hear from, you know, you creepy fellas that have hit on a girl that you know is probably not the right place to do it. The DMV. Yeah, the what? The DMV. The DMV is weird. I've gotten that at the DMV. Is it weird? Yeah. Wait a minute. No, actually, that's not weird. Everyone's in a bad mood. You don't want to talk to anyone in line. You just want to get through it. Let's go back to our conversation we had the other day when you were asking me what's the best way. Somebody had asked me what's the best way to approach a woman cold. And I said, you got to find a common ground. You're in the DMV. It sucks for everybody in there, including the people that work there. Yeah. You have that common ground. You look at her and you go. This is the worst, isn't it? You're overlooking one huge thing. What? And this is what happened to me. What? When the guy who was standing behind me started talking to me, do you not know how long you're waiting in line? You have to continue that hour-long conversation or else you can't just turn around and have it be over. I hate that. You pick your moment, too. You don't do it at the beginning. You do it three quarters when the line's over. You look at it and you go, this is...
This is awful, isn't it? I have nothing else to say to you. And she looks at you and she's like, yeah, this is terrible. So what are you doing? You renewing your license? Oh, yeah, me too. Yeah, I actually just moved here. I don't know anybody and, you know, whatever. But what if she's not... The kid struck out many a time. So you're willing to swing in... I was before I was married, yeah. Wouldn't you want to do it in a place where you know the girl's going to be in a good mood? No, it doesn't matter. But I could have been in the hospital for any number of things. You know what I mean? That's true. That's a weird bit. It's more likely that I was in there for something bad than something good. Right. You should have said I have a flaming STD and that's why I'm here waiting on my meds. Yeah, I'm here because I need something to be applied to it because it just is killing me. Yeah, me too, babe. Then he's going to be like, aren't you Lauren O'Brien from the Mikey Show? Yeah, right. M1 Scorpio. Hello. Is that you? Is it Scorpio? Yeah. Okay. Go ahead. I am your father. Oh, no. Sorry, Scorpio. He just went. He's scuba diving. Sorry, something wrong.
Oh, I wanted to hear what you said. I did too. I know, but his phone cut off. Call back, Scorpio. Call back. 570-1949. Is there any other place? Oh, by the way, Mark Jackson. Congratulations. It's Mark Jackson. Mark Jackson was our 7,000th fan on Facebook. Mark Jackson. See you tomorrow. That's right. They'll be coming in. We have a whole audience tomorrow. Dude. Like 20 people. Jay's building bleachers later. Yeah. Out of duct tape and straw. We may have to have Mark wait, because I know we have so many people. Mark might have to be... We can't. We promised. We didn't say this week. I mean, we can, but I'm telling you, he's going to be way more comfortable. He can if he wants. I don't want him to be upset. I don't want anyone to think. Maybe sitting up there on the mail bin. That's a thing. I'll give him a choice. I'll say, hey, man, you can come in tomorrow if you want to, but I'm telling you. He can wait, then he gets to meet my old lady. Oh, yeah. Or... You know, the other thing is you'll get the opportunity to meet Wood's wife, which would be great, too. Yeah, I'm stacking them deep tomorrow. It's going to be so crowded. It'll be so crowded. I love it. Real quick, Santee firefighters are doing that American Cancer Society Relay for Life again in Santee, which is really good. And this is good. It's going to be two days of fundraising at the Chili's in Santee, and it starts on Monday.
And it's a two-day thing, Monday and Tuesday. And let's see. 15% of your bill goes to it, which is really great. And one Santee firefighter recently lost his battle with cancer. And another is currently undergoing chemo. So they have a vested interest in finding a cure. So please check it out. Very, very cool. Very good cause. Very good cause for the Santee firefighters. Very cool. 570. 1-949-9 is the number. And if you want to, you can also text messages, 949mikey at gmail.com. M1, Brenda. Brenda, are you... Brenda? Yes, I am. Go ahead. I met my husband at a bus stop. And we've been married 21 years. Wow. Did you guys talk on the bus? Yeah, we both were going to the University of Minnesota. And we take this bus. There was a bus that was...
They were express buses that would go to the U of M from different suburbs. And we had both just moved back home because it's really expensive. Had you seen him at the bus stop a bunch of times? Or was it like the first time you'd ever even seen him there? No, I'd seen him several times and thought he was kind of cute. And he had really cute little dimples. And so did he finally say something to you or you said something to him? Golly, it was 23 years ago. I don't remember. You don't remember who said something to who? I do. Who? He goes, so. Yeah. Take the bus too, huh? Yeah. You live at home as well? Is this your stop? Yeah, so. Must have been. In Minnesota, it probably sounded like, so. Yeah, so. So. You take the bus? That's right. Just kidding. Brenda. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Do you want to go have a drink later? That's awesome. They're not in Ireland. Don't you know. Let's go get a beer and some cheese curds. Cheese curds. I love it. That's great. I love it. Well, congrats to you. Thank you. Married 20 years. 21. 21 years. Give us an awkward place that you've either been hit on or that you've hit on a girl. I've been hit on so many times. I'm trying to think of some weird place. I've got one.
Go ahead. Company Christmas party. Everybody knows I'm married. And this girl comes up and she says, let's go back to my room in front of everybody. Oh, Jay Bird. And I was like, you know, just trying to, you know, no, you know, that's, you know, thanks. But, you know, no, no, no. How was it? Let's go back to my. No, 100%. I was like, oh, my gosh. Jay's running to his car. I prefer my room. I didn't even have a room there. So then the next day at work, she's like, yeah. And I think, okay, it would just be awkward. No big deal. She comes in. She says, I heard I was following you around like a puppy yesterday. And I was like, well, you know, I get it. You know, drank a little too much. I'm hot. She's like, you know, that offer still stands. I was like, nope. Nope. For real? For real. 100%. Does your wife know this? No, she's probably hearing about it now. Sorry, Kim. That hurts. I'd be mad at you right now. Why would you be mad? Because we want to know. It's not his fault that he can't tame the wild beasts. But we want to know if that goes down. It never happens. It never happens to me. You're backpedaling. I was on the phone with Rebecca when Beamer Girl drove by. Should I have not said anything or said something? Say, say, say. Yeah, right?
Beamer girl was yesterday. Mikey had a very interesting encounter. First time in my life. Yeah, and she didn't even know what I looked like. So if she'd known that, it probably wouldn't happen. You were driving in your Beamer. Why do you think I'm so excited that one girl in my life, one girl, one, one girl was like, oh my gosh, I don't know what you look like, but I'll flirt with you. Because of your car. Yeah, flirt with your car. She held up a sign while she was driving. She aimed it at Mikey and it said, Beamer girl. Yeah. Wow. You got a cute taillight. Mm-hmm. That's unbelievable. Yeah. 570-194-9949. Mikey at gmail.com. Most awkward or weird place that you've been hit on. Inappropriate. Are we good on time? Jay Bird. Are we good on time? He can't hear you. I love Jay. I was talking on the phone. Sorry. Are we good on time? Let's see. No, we have to go. Yeah, we don't have to go yet, but we need to. Yeah, we need to probably have the 940 break. Then we'll be back. Your phone calls about this very topic of weird dudes coming up to you and saying, you look like a pork chop to me. I guarantee it's like at a funeral or something like that. Guys do it. Yeah, it's always a real weird funeral type thing or something like that. And I also, yeah, I want to hear from you ladies. You prowling ladies. They come up to the fellas and they're hitting on the fellas.
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In our, you know, hooking up our sewage. You know what I mean? As we're driving our house. Yes. Sheryl Crow, Kid Rock. I like it. I do too. I love it. It's like a real country song. I can't believe you're agreeing to this, Woods. It's so, it's the trashiest thing in the world. And for whatever reason, they're two voices together. I love it. Next to her. Maybe run the whole thing, dude. Run the whole thing. Whatever she says. I like Sheryl Crow and I don't know. I'm singing this one. Next to her. She's a beautiful voice. I think I might like Lauren doing it better than Sheryl Crow doing it. Did I ever tell you guys about Rebecca's, like, she's repulsed by Sheryl Crow music. Really? You guys didn't know that? I've never told you like that. Repulsed? Oh, dude. She thinks that Sheryl Crow music is the worst songwriting she's ever heard. Really? She'll quote it and she'll go, really? Like, she'll say the line from the song and go, really?
And I go, babe, I don't think that's that bad. Let's do a lyrically impaired with Sheryl Crow. What's the one that? Every day is a winding road. I like that song. She's used that before. And she goes, really? I love it. I love it. I like her. I like her. I'm telling you. And every time, like all every once in a while, I'll play it on my computer. And she goes from the like all the way upstairs. You want to know what gets Jamie? What? If you play Rush, you will see her power down. Paula Abdul? No, Rush. The band. Oh. She'll try to jump out of the car on the freeway. Really? She hates it? She hates Rush. Why? It's the voice. She's like, ah! Gee, it's her kryptonite. Really? Is that the fellas go crazy for a shotgun? What is that? That's ZZ Top. Oh, okay. Rush, dude. Wow. And by the way, fellas go crazy. Go crazy for a shotgun? What are the words? Fellas go crazy for a shotgun ham? I don't know. Shotgun Sam. Fellas go crazy for a shotgun ham. A sharp-dressed man. Was it fellas go crazy? No. Everyone's true. You just found three ways to be wrong in ten seconds. Like, that's impossible, and you did it.
Every girl's crazy for a sharp-dressed man. There you go. It took me three times. When Jamie's in here next week, please put a Rush song on your bumper music. And just don't say anything. Just watch her face. Okay. She hates it. She'll be like, I gotta go. I gotta go get water. I gotta get out of here. Hillary, what are your thoughts on Sheryl Crow? I like the voice. I like the voice. Neither here nor there. Hillary, what do you think of Warrant? You know who I love? Who? Rush. My wife would fist fight you. I know. She loves it. Rebecca and I have strong feelings about really any musically. She's like, eh, whatever. Her favorite artist in the world is Fiona Apple. Nice. But Sheryl Crow, it kills her. She hates these things that work. And I go, and I'll listen to it with her. I go, tell me what's bad. She goes, just listen to any.
She goes, really? Good is good and bad is bad? Wow, that's so deep. Like, I can't even believe that, really. You could do that with anybody, though. I guess. You could do it with Fiona Apple. Yeah, you can. You make me a shadow boxer? I'm boxing? I did it with her one time, and I thought she was going to claw my eyes. You're going to kill you? I don't remember what song it was that we were listening to, and I go, babe. you want to explain to me what did it did it means and she goes you don't get that like i shut your mouth yeah it's like i don't know how to play chess it's like you're trying to read shakespeare right you don't get it and she goes you don't get that and i'm like yes because i don't want to feel dumb i'm like yeah but good is good and bad is bad deep that's a little bit every day is a winding road yeah that's better that's better good is good is bad bad is bad it's like thank you captain obvious yeah That's what she says. That's what she says. That's what she says. No, this cannot be possible. This cannot be possible. M1 Classic Girl. This is going to be the prize winner for most awkward place to be hit on. Go ahead. I got hit on in the gynecologist office. No! No, by a sales rep. By a sales rep. Hey, how are you doing, honey? What are you doing here? What are you up to? I was there.
For my first pregnancy test when I first got married. Wow. And my ex-husband was sitting across from me. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Quite possibly the creepiest place you could possibly hit on somebody. It was horrible. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. What did your husband do? He laughed. He was very, very confident in himself, so he didn't care. Hence why he's your ex-husband. Yeah, pretty much. Thank you for the call. Thank you. That's classic. That's great. Hillary, what do we got today? What are you going to be doing today? I'm going to play some Broken Bells, that new Danger Mouse and James Mercer from the Shins thing. I also, though, I'm going to play some Deftones, everybody. Nice. Yes. And Grizzly Bear, Bad Religion, who are coming to town. I'll tell you about a cool free live album they're doing. So good stuff. Sweet. Cool. Well, Hillary is coming up next. We've got a lot of stuff on the show tomorrow, including The Incorporator. The Incorporator will be back tomorrow.
Lovely and talented Hillary up next. We'll see you tomorrow at 6. Mikey shows up. A Lincoln financial media station. Mikey in the morning. About the music all day and night. M94.9. It's about the music.