The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/12/10

0:00KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Live studio audience. Welcome to The Mikey Show. You can give us a call if you want to. Our phone number here is 570-1949. And if you want to text us, you can do that as well. Our text is 949mikey at gmail.com. That's a way to get a hold of us. And we would love to talk to you. You can call us about anything you want. At the beginning of the show and the end of the show, we do open phones, so you can call about anything. So we'd love to talk to you. And we've got lots of things that we're going to be going over. First, let me introduce everybody on the show. There's five people on The Mikey Show. And just to let you know, you can find The Mikey Show's fan page on Facebook by going to Facebook and just searching The Mikey Show.

3:35We now have over 7,000 fans on the Mikey Show fan page, which is really, really cool. And you can get in on it. If you're a Mikey Show listener, you are an M1. And an M1, when they call into the show, they turn their radio down. They get to the point they don't cuss. That's what makes you a part of M1 Nation. And we love it if you do that. And so give us a call or text. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 39 years old. Don't really like to swim. Just wanted to give you a couple of facts about me. Unlike most Latinos, you know, I am not a champion swimmer. Like all of the Olympic champion swimmers that you can think of from Mexico over the years, you know. Lots. Literally tens of them. More like fives. Yeah, literally fives of them. It might be nuns of them. It could be. It could be nuns of them. Steve Woods is our sports guy. We call him Woodsy, and he is 34 years old. Lauren O'Brien is a stand-up comic, and she's also our assistant producer, and she's 29 years old. And she has one heck of a revelation today in her recap email that we'll get to later on. And Sienna is our news girl.

5:07She's 24 years old, and she is from the LJ, the La Jolla. I realized that I'm getting older yesterday. You did? Because my mom reminded me that my birthday is coming up really soon, and it hadn't even occurred to me. Yeah? You know you're getting older when you forget about it. When's the birthday? April 3rd. Oh, that is soon. Yeah. I should have remembered that. April 3rd's the day before my mom's birthday, and Woodsy is the 19th. Of? Of July. That a boy. Yeah, it's two days before my dad's birthday. Nice. And let's see. And then Jay is our producer. And he's separated by glass. And he's in the other room. And if you call in, Jay is the guy that you will actually talk to if you call into the show. He is serving as our phone screener for now. We're going to have a new phone screener pretty soon. Because we're going to be getting a... A phone screener. So excited. Yeah. It's going to be great, right? So good. You'll be able to do some other stuff and somebody else will be screening the phones, which will be awesome. Yeah. That hasn't actually been approved yet, though. Oh. Coil. Coil. Corporate suits are here. Hey, y'all. It's me, Hoyle. Hey, Hoyle. I know, Hoyle. We know. We know. How could we not? Well, I just heard y'all talking about how there might be a mat.

6:36Matt. Be a new phone screener. Matt Damon? I didn't say Matt. I said Matt. Might. Might. Oh, okay. Right. It's spelled M-I-T-E. Might. That actually, I don't think that's how it's spelled. Really? That's what you don't think how it's spelled? You also don't know how to work the horn, Lauren, so how do I know what you do? Nobody knows how to work the horn. I do. One thousand one. That wasn't a joke. I'm just trying to show you how it works. You count to 1,001 after you tell the joke. You get it? That was pretty long. That was. Or ring the other bell. That's really funny. Such a good bit. Thank you, Steve. You're welcome. Hilarious. Missed you, pal. Where you been? I've been away. I've been doing some stuff over the last couple weeks. I've been taking some courses I'll tell you about later. Okay. Don't look at the camera. So you just started and you're taking like weeks at a time off? Yes. That's cool. Yeah. And you just looked at the camera. I'm sorry. We've been here in the trenches, dude. This is our 30th show today, by the way, Hoyle. Yeah. 30 shows on your belt. Hoyle is our station manager and really something else, right? Very professional. I love his professional vests. Denim vests. That's right. Denim vests.

8:04You're going to trip out on this. Apparently, the thing that happened on Monday with the Prius, where the guy's on the freeway with the Prius, and the cop has to try to slow him down, and does successfully, saves his life, right? Yep. What's the latest, Sienna? Well, the California Highway Patrol is not questioning this man's story. And this is, you know, we had two different incidents this week of a Prius going out of control. This was the very first one, which seemed like a huge deal. We played the 911 call. It was a big deal. Well, people are now questioning whether or not it was legit. Okay, so the CHP is not questioning it. They're not, but I think that they're going to start now because a lot of people are. Why? Because, for example, we heard the 911 call. from the moment she got on the phone is like, well, have you put the car in neutral? Have you put the car in neutral? He never even tried it, which seems a little bit weird if he's going to be able to just pull on his e-brake while a cop is telling him to do it. I mean, wouldn't you try that? I don't know. You know, see, every time we get into situations like this, I'm unsure because I don't know how I would react. Yeah. But they're saying it's kind of like a balloon boy incident because he's been on TV before. Oh, boy.

9:19Yeah, in 2006, he was on TV. He won $55,000 on a TV show called The Big Spin. He's also a real estate agent. Okay, now The Big Spin is you can go to, if you buy a lottery ticket, the Scratcher lottery tickets, they have a Scratcher lottery ticket called The Big Spin. If you win that Scratcher ticket, which is very rare, you get to go on the TV show here in California, The Big Spin, and you get to spin for some dough. Yeah. So he was on there. He's also a real estate agent. And I guess he has a couple of celebrity clients, including Constance Ramos from the Extreme Makeover. That's a celebrity? That's a celebrity. And apparently so. Apparently so. And this guy, Jim Sykes, the older guy that was driving the Prius on Monday, I guess brags about it all the time. And he's always, you know, talking about his... So people are just raising an eyebrow. Like, he just wants the fame. Like, he was on TV before. Why didn't he do anything the 911... Person told him to do. He barely even spoke on that tape. It was weird. Sir, sir, can you hear me? Are you there? Are you there? Yeah. Sir, sir. Yeah, I received two phone calls saying that it was a total scam, that this guy does this all the time. Really? Yeah, I didn't put it through just because it seemed, you know, it was, you know. Inappropriate at the time. Yeah, and I'm proven. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt? And come on now, each and every one of you, when you heard the story, you immediately thought, yeah.

10:40Could this be a scam? I didn't. I didn't either. I didn't tell the next guy the next day. Me too. And then as soon as it was introduced to my thought pattern, I went, oh, they're all going to be fake. See, I thought the first one. Really? I mean, it sounds messed up because, I mean, it's a scary thing to happen. I can't imagine. So if it isn't, I'm sorry, you know, but I don't know. It's a little fishy. It's pretty, it's going to be pretty easy to tell, is it not? How will it be easy to tell? I mean. Getting your hands in the gears. It's going to be easy to tell if the accelerator is stuck, wouldn't it be? I think so. I think that with the legitimate cases where this has happened, right? They had to have taken these cars aside, taken them apart, looked at them. They're going to take this one apart, look at it, and go, wait a minute. No? I don't know. Well, you know me. I mean, I'm really, really handy around a car. For sure. I've been doing a little research in my own time. Yeah. Yeah, taking apart and putting together Priuses. It's hobby. For sure it is. There it goes. There's that little guy. Also, two years ago, he filed for bankruptcy. Yeah. Could be another little thing. Oh, like lawsuit stuff? Yeah. So, I mean, just wanting the money, wanting, you know, he could get quite a lot of money from that. Yeah. Sure. Then the other big news is with John Gardner, the man accused of...

12:02Killing Chelsea King. What's the latest? Well, we know back in 2000, he was charged for an assault with a 13 year old girl. And now they're saying, I mean, there's just more and more and more stuff coming out about how badly his case was handled from the very beginning back in 2000. And state prison officials are saying that Gardner racked up a total of seven violations during his three years that he was on parole, supervised on supervised release. And with every one of those seven, he should have been returned back to custody. But he wasn't. He wasn't even written up for most of them. Unbelievable. How does that happen? I don't know. Very good question. Some of them were kind of small. You know, like he missed a meeting with his parole agent. Another was filed when he was suspected of possession of marijuana. That's not small, though. No, that one's not. The missing meeting? You're a sex offender and you're missing meetings? Oh. Bad. That's jailable that day. Yeah. But there were four violations involved with his GPS system that he had, the low battery alerts on the GPS system that he was ordered to wear. I guess it was alerting that the battery was low. Like he was, you know, not. Something was wrong with the battery. Yeah. But for it to happen four times. Yeah. We made this point the other day. The thing that freaks me out the most about that is like this is one dude. One dude. One dude.

13:26I wonder how many times this is happening. We don't know. Yeah. It just freaks you out, man. Everyone is very, very vocal about how unpleased they are with the state corrections department. I bet. It's a front page of the UT today, man. Yeah. It's a front page. This next story, I don't know anything about. I saw it in the news. We're going to discuss it now. Sienna's going to explain it to me. She's going to do her best to try to talk me into the new 3D. TVs. Yes. Jay actually told me about this when I came in this morning. He sat on the news last night and I was like, no, 3D TVs that you can have at your house. And at first I thought, no, I hate wearing the glasses. You can't do that at home. Yeah, I'm out. But then I started reading in on it and it could be so awesome. That was pretty cool. So awesome. Why? Why is it going to be awesome? A flat screen 3D set with glasses. It comes with a Blu-ray player. Right now, they're talking to ESPN. This is Panasonic that's releasing this. They released the first ones at a Best Buy store in New York City yesterday. And the first two customers spent $3,157 to get all three of those products. The flat screen, the 3D glasses, and the 3D Blu-ray player. Yeah, they'll be $7 in three years. I know. I know. But there's...

14:42DirecTV is going to be launching 3D channels in June. So you can watch on TV. But this is the thing that got me. And I think a lot of guys will be in on this. They're talking to ESPN right now. And they're going to try to get 3D sports. I'm in on that. How could you not be in? You'd be like, oh, I'm on the team. 3D baseball. Amazing. Video games. How will they do that? They won't. Yes, they will. That's my prediction. Doesn't it have to be outlined with all that special stuff? Can I just tell you? They will. And you'll be very disappointed. No. I'll be seasick. Can I tell you why? Because when we went to see Johnny Depp in Wonderland the other day. Alice in Wonderland. Is that what it's called? Yes. Alice in Wonderland. When we went to see that, I didn't think that the 3D was very impressive. In fact, to me, all it was was a movie that was like, this is. how I would have presented the movie to an alien had an alien not known anything about 3D. After experiencing that 3D, I would have said to an alien, if the alien said, what's 3D? Explain this concept. I would have said, well, in this instance, Mr. Alien, 3D means that you can't see the movie without these stupid glasses. But if you put these stupid glasses on, you can actually see the images on the screen.

16:07And then if the alien were to take it further and say, well, does anything special happen? I would say no, absolutely nothing. But you need these glasses in order to be able to see the images on the screen. Unlike 20 years ago when I was 12 and they had really dumb paper ones that you put on that were blue and red. And with those stuff actually jumped out in my face. But this one I didn't think was that impressive. I just thought it looked, yeah, it's vibrant. Yeah, it's kind of like. There's a little bit of a 3D thing going on, but it wasn't so spectacular that I was blown away. Michael Esparza. That is a pot-smoking caterpillar. Yes. No. You are absolutely going to own one of these. I know it. I'd see it, too. Any new shiny toy, you have to have it. Yeah. He'll do it. I don't know, though. I think he might just be one of those people that can't see the 3D stuff. Yeah. But think about your kids.

17:03But he'll have us over. Coming out in April, the first DVD, Ice Age, Dawn of the Dinosaurs. 3D. Your kids are in bed. Woo! Well, not for you, obviously, but for little kids, they're going to love it. Yeah, Lauren said yesterday that there, what did you say? There's a certain amount of people that can't? I was just saying, you know those things that you see in the mall? Those pictures? Yeah, you see a schooner. Oh, it's a sailboat. Little things in the mall. They're like the hologram pictures or whatever you call them. I don't know. Like a million tiny little images that when you stare. Yeah, you stare at the center and back up and then it pops out at you. Where is that at the mall? It's in one of those kiosks. I think this is like when we were younger. It's like 90s. Yeah. But there was like people that just couldn't see it. Yeah, I can't see it. I can't either. I can't see it. And so for me, 3D is just a great way to put me in some really dumb looking glasses. Stop it. You are going to own it and you are going to love it. Maybe. I wish I had gotten a picture of that. It would be like a blast from the past for you anyway, pal. What are you talking about? Back in your Michael Shannon days. At least these would serve a purpose. Oh, when I wore glasses? Yeah, when you wore giant tortoiseshell glasses that had no lenses in them. Or they had lenses but no prescription. No prescription. They were purely cosmetic.

18:20Fashion. Yeah, because nothing's more fashionable than a morbidly obese Mexican guy that's 5'5". Suspenders and tortoise shell glasses. With suspenders and tortoise shell glasses with no prescription in them. There's nothing more fashionable than that. You know, most women were like, you know what? I was kind of on the fence about you. But then I saw you whip around in those tortoise shell glasses. And you know what? Now I am all in on you, buddy. All in on you. I got to have me some of that. I got to have me some of that. You know what I mean? Hey, where are the white women at? Oh, they're staring at you, Mike. They're staring at you. They can't wait to get their hands all over those tortoiseshell. They want to run their fingers through those tortoiseshell non-prescription glasses. What about that wet spot on your leg? That's right. That's right. Because I was introducing Judy Collins on stage. Bring in the clown. I think they did. I think he walked out on stage and introduced you. They didn't. His name was Michael Shannon. His name was Michael Shannon. He was the clown. I'd gone to the restroom moments before walking out onto the mountain winery stage where she was performing. I'd gone to the restroom and I had leakage. Spittled. Spittled. Spittled. Some spraying. It was the most mortifying experience of my life. On my big and tall dockers.

19:50On my circus dockers, okay? Are you sure they were tall? I mean, really? Big and short. I mean, the joke wasn't powerful enough. Is that the deal? That the joke wasn't powerful enough that I got it at the big and tall store? You know I love me some Mikey short. She does. Short Mikey. Oh, my gosh. I'm telling you. She lapsed that stuff up like it's a bowl of alfalfa cereal. Organic milk. It's like a bowl of organic milk. Kind of like kombucha to me. It is. Drink it up. But yeah, that was a very, very unfortunate time in my life, wasn't it? Yes, it was, Mike. Thanks, Mike. I appreciate that, Mike. Again, there's a $10,000 reward if anybody can produce any actual pictures of Michael Shannon. I looked yesterday. I'll get the money. Don't worry about it. I have a friend on Facebook who might have some pictures. I'll ask him. Wow. Please. I'll write him and say, hey, man, do you have any pictures from those days? Please. I have a... I was going through my... You know what? I do have... I think I might have a picture from that time. Do you have a headshot? From that time period. Like a station headshot? No. I wasn't important enough to have any kind of headshot at that point, you know? Plus, I worked in the, like, 455th largest market in the country.

21:16I was surprised you didn't run into Hoyle back in those days, dude. Our station manager worked in a couple of markets like that. You know what I mean? Right? Because Hoyle's from... Where are you from, Hoyle? Mobile, Alabama, man. Not just Mobile. I've worked in a lot of the bigger markets. Like? Little Rock. That's a huge market. West Memphis, Arkansas. Ever heard of it? Thank you. Wow. Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. That's not the biggest phrase anymore, Hoyle. No, he's right 10 years ago. It's his bit. What, been there, done that, got the t-shirt? It's timeless, Woods. It's what they call in the business, it's what they call evergreen. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's evergreen. You can use it forever. It's 5 o'clock somewhere, pal. It's 5 o'clock somewhere. That's a good one, Butch. Thanks, man. Why don't you incorporate that more into the incorporator? Maybe I will. That will be the phrase when you do the incorporator. That's a good idea, actually. Maybe I will. It's a terrible bit, by the way. Oh, boy. People love that bit. You don't like it? I don't understand it. Well, that's the problem. People love it. I don't understand it. I don't know why you've got to call people in small towns. I don't understand it. Can you explain? No, I mean, it's... Exactly, you can, buddy.

22:33It's five o'clock somewhere, y'all. Thank you, Hoyle. And it's our station manager, Hoyle. Hoyle Hanratty. Hoyle Hanratty. That's quite a name. Yeah, thank you. It's befitting of a person that is as successful as I am. Hoyle, don't look at the camera. Don't look at the camera. That's my line. It's five o'clock somewhere, y'all. Hoyle. That's. No. That's not where that goes. See, I'm funny. No, that's not funny. You don't get it. That. Do you know what that means? Of course I do. What? Weird. No. That's what she said. That's what she said. Perfect. That was not 1,001 count for that horn. There. Better. I'm supposed to count it out loud. You're not getting the gist of our bits, I don't think, man. I don't think he is either. I don't think he gets it. Hey, I don't know if you've heard this, but LT was visiting with the Minnesota Vikings. You want to know how it went? We got audio. What's he's going to tell us in Woods on Sports? I'm scared. Plus, I got a question for you that I think a lot of people have. You got kids, depending on how old your kids are.

23:57When do they get TVs? When do they get cell phones? When do they get computers? When do they get all that stuff? We'll get your opinions on that, and we'll talk about some other stuff that has to do with that. Next. Got a live studio audience in the studio this morning. 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. It's a nonstop sex parade. She's Out of My League. Rated R. Starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. Have you ever wondered what to do with your old computer?

24:54FM 94.9 can now help you answer that question and many more just like it. Check out the EcoVillage page on FM949SD.com for all types of useful eco-friendly information. Read stories about the benefits of recycled oil. Check out businesses that are having a positive impact on our community and planet. Learn what you can do to protect our beaches and oceans. Or go to FM949SD.com and click on the EcoVillage tile. Supported by Think Blue San Diego. Now you can. Get exceptional offers on new and certified pre-owned BMWs during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas. Lease a 2010 BMW 128i Coupe for only $279 a month plus tax. Or a 2010 528i sedan for only $489 a month plus tax. Or get up to $2,500 spring drive credit plus 0.9% APR financing on select models. And don't forget, you can save thousands on our huge selection.

25:58Only at BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Click bmwencinitas.com. Hi, this is Mike Puckett from HalfPriceSanDiego.com. Keep in mind at HalfPriceSanDiego.com, we sell gift cards. They spend just like cash. Half Price San Diego is excited to have the Healing Arts and Wellness Center in Pacific Beach back on this week. This March, it's Massage Madness. Where else can you get a one-hour massage for $22.50? Only at the Healing Arts in Pacific Beach. And let me tell you about the best barbecue in San Diego. Gloria's Barbecue is just open in Pacific Beach on the corner of Cass and Garnett. You have tried the rest. Now it's time you try the best. Whether you like ribs, brisket, tri-tip, or whatever, you will find it all at Gloria's Barbecue in Pacific Beach. And if you're into perfection, then treat yourself to the Diesel Salon.

27:01The Diesel Salon delivers all the benefits of the latest education and styles. They have true professionals that can help guide you and get you the look you have always been looking for. The Diesel Salon near downtown is busy, so make your appointment today. Register now and get your weekly email so you know all about the deals first. Double your budget at HalfPriceSanDiego.com. It's a win-win. For over 80 years, USAA has served the financial needs of our soldiers, veterans, and their families. No matter where you are, you can handle your finances anytime with our secure online banking. From free ATMs nationwide to mortgages and cash bonuses when buying and selling your home through USAA's real estate program, USAA Bank provides a full financial suite of banking services. And if you qualify, you can even deposit a check using an iPhone or computer scanner. You've given a lot for your country. Making it convenient to manage your finances is the least we can do for you. If you have ever honorably served, let us serve you. Start by opening a free checking account today. Visit usaa.com. USAA does not charge a fee for the first 10 ATM withdrawals and refunds up to $15 in other banks' ATM usage fees each month. Eligibility restrictions apply. Real estate program provided by USAA Relocation Services Incorporated and is not available in all states. iPhone is a trademark of Apple Incorporated. Bank products provided by USAA Federal Savings Bank and Equal Housing Lender. Member FDIC. Stay tuned for a million bottle giveaway announcement.

28:24Do you have troubled skin? Acne? Well, against the better judgment of our management team, we're going to prove to you once and for all that Proactiv works. So if you want to try it, give us a call because we're going to let a million people try Proactiv and receive our legendary refining face mask free if you call right now. You heard it. Be one of the first callers and you'll receive a 60-day trial of Proactiv Solution risk-free plus a free refining face mask when you call 1-800-244-1946. Proactiv's combination therapy system uses prescription-grade acne medicine and soothing spa quality botanicals to create a powerful acne-fighting system. It's so effective it transforms blemishes and bumps into clear, smooth skin. You can have beautiful, healthy-looking skin. Put us to the test and we'll prove it. Get your risk-free 60-day tryout plus a free refining face mask call toll free now 1-800-244-1946 that's 1-800-244-1946 i'm jason vanderpaul guitar center store manager starting this weekend i'm kicking off what may be our most intense month of national savings it's our first ever manager special sale and we've been staying up late and marking down prices to unbelievable new lows

29:36Check this out. Four sets of electric guitar strings for $10. Acoustic electric guitar is just $179. Buy one peisty prototype symbol at half off list, get one free. Awesome financing, too. So hurry in and grab a Guitar Center Manager Special while they last. Taylor lovers! Taylor lovers! Way to Taylor lovers! Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. Are you seriously not wearing any underwear? What? She's out of my league. Braided R. Starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. Good morning. This report is brought to you by the Port of San Diego. Sail away from San Diego with Carnival Cruise Line, Holland America, Celebrity or Royal Caribbean.

30:27For a list of departures, check out sandiegocruiseport.com. Looks like the five northbound before Lone Santa Fe drive-in accident. Signal alert issued here. It was a solo spin-out. They do have an ambulance on the scene, possibly some injuries here. The number five lane is blocked by the fire department. Also, the five northbound before La Jolla Parkway in accident. Right two lanes are blocked. And looks like a little problem here on the 163 southbound after Kearneyville erode. Possibly some injuries and ambulance on the way as well. This report brought to you by Toyota Motor Sales USA. Your Toyota. to dealers committed to your satisfaction. They've extended their hours, added associates to take care of all your service needs, answer your questions, and address your concerns. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to look like Rerun. Woods. Kissed plenty of chubby girls in my day, pal. Lauren. One of the reasons I don't like paper plates. Wasteful. Deanna. My butts never look tanner. And Jay. Howdy ho, neighbor. On FM 94.9. Welcome back to the Mikey Show with a live studio audience here. We got so, so much show for you today. I'm telling you, man, it is a jam-packed show. If you would like to call us, we'd love to hear from you. Our phone number is 570-1949. And if you want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. That's the easiest way to get a hold of us through text. Let's do some of this.

32:49Word around the campfire, Michael, is that Tiger Woods may make his return very soon, a lot sooner than we think. And where might that be? That might be the Masters in Augusta, Georgia. They're saying it's a really good fit for him to make his return because he feels really comfortable there. He's won it four times. And the fans there are very respectful fans. The media really controls the gallery, the atmosphere. I think it's a good move by him. Don't just take my word for it. We've got a very special guest today in the studio. This is Mikey's, it's not Mikey's golf pro, but it's the golf pro that's been teaching Mikey how to play golf. Lee Sanuto from Carlsbad Golf Center. Let's hear it for Lee. Good morning. He's awesome, man. Lee, I got to tell you, if you would like to learn the game, I have to say, like, immediately when we started working together, I was like, and I've said this before, somebody... either gets it or they don't. Lee gets it. And what I mean by that is like, he will diagnose who you are. So he'll ask you a million questions to kind of get how you think. Then once he figures out how you think, he goes, okay, so here's how you approach it. And different people will learn in different ways. That's how he figures you out, figures out how you learn and then approaches it that way. And we were out there the other day and he just, he, he figured it out and he goes,

34:13Think of it like this. As soon as I did, the ball was flying straight. It was amazing. Same thing with Woodsy. Incredible. He did this thing with Woods where he had Woods walk through it, like actually walk. When I hit the ball, I pulled my back leg up, which is my right leg, and walked through the ball. And every ball I hit, dead straight. I've never hit a golf ball straight. It's still flying. It's over Tokyo right now. It's still flying. But anyway, Lee, so tell us what you think about... The Masters, is that a good place for Tiger to come back, you think? Yeah, I don't think he can resist the Masters. I actually think he'll probably come back the week prior, which is Bay Hill, to see a little warm-up in. He's won that like six times, hasn't he? And that's Jack Nicklaus's... Palmer's. Yeah, Arnold Palmer's course. Really? And tournament. That's cool, man. Now, you were a former pro golfer, so you've played most of the courses? Some. Yeah, some of them. What's your favorite? Pebble Beach. So weird because I was in my head. I wanted to ask you about that one because it's maybe one of three that I know in the world. But what is it that you liked about the course? There's just not a bad hole out there. You walk on the grounds and it's like every great golfer who's ever played the game has been there. It's just this weird kind of feeling and it just has a mystique and it's just incredible. That's cool. Very.

35:38Tell everybody where you work and how they can actually get you to help them. Okay. Yeah, I'm up at Carlsbad Golf Center, which is located on the edge of Carlsbad in the 78 in El Camino Real. And you can go to the website, which is carlsbadgolfcenter.com, or give us a call at 760-720-4653, and you can reach us that way. Yeah, he's really good, man. to just watch him hit balls. I'm not kidding. Can we talk about that for a second? Can we talk about that? I'm waiting for you to talk about it. Dude, it's... Okay, so Lee will go... He'll be diagnosing my chubby swing, right? Stop. And he'll be, you know, kind of trying to figure out what's going on. And he'll go, Mikey, Mikey, here, hand me the club and stand over here. So I'll go stand to the side and he starts talking and he goes, now watch what happens. When I hold my arm like this. And he goes. And you go. Like literally me and Woods. Like our breath is like. He hit a driver the other day. I can't. I've never been able to hit a driver. I've been playing for 20 some odd years. He hits a driver. And 300 yards. I mean. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I was like. Yeah. Mike, he's like, did you see that? Yeah. It's.

37:05Awesome. And every time he does it, he'll do it. We giggle. And we're, yeah, he'll do it. He'll hit the ball, right? Me and Woods, you're like. And he doesn't, he's not even watching the ball. No. Because he knows it's going to Tucson. And so, and me and Woods are watching it. And he's like talking to us because he's done it 80 billion times. And it's incredible. It's incredible. So, he can actually teach you how to play golf. It's pretty awesome. He's awesome, dude. Thank you, man. Thank you, dude. And he's hanging out with us all morning long. Woodsy, what else? I got to know the LT stuff. Okay. Well, he's made his official visit to the Vikings. And he's pretty stoked. Really? He's pretty stoked about it. Here he is talking about coexisting with Adrian Peterson. Cut one. Absolutely. You know, I definitely can. And, you know, I would be coming here for him. You know, he's in the prime of his career. You know, I've done what he's trying to do except for win a championship. And so absolutely, I can come and fit in. And he's just, he's a good dude, man. I like that about him. Sienna's not buying it, but I like it about him. He's a great dude. I think LT's fantastic, and it's just very painful. Yeah, the wound is still fresh. Oh, yeah, it's just very painful to hear. Every day there's bad news. I know. You charge your fans. I know. Every day. Yeah. I hate sports. So then the reporter asked him, okay, so you're here, Adrian Peterson's here. What if Brett Favre's here? Cut to.

38:33I think it'll be a blast, you know. Yeah. Watching Brad for so long. Can't wait. You know, it's magic. And, you know, coming here with, you know, it'll be incredible to be able to play with him. Great. Super. Yeah, so that's going to be a formidable backfield. My heart is aching. I know. I'm sorry, dude. Hall of Famer Merlin Olsen had died Thursday after his battle with cancer. He was just one of those genuinely good guys. You remember him. I remember him from his broadcasting and his Little House on the Prairie days. He was on Little House on the Prairie. He was. He was. He was part of the L.A. Rams Fearsome Foursome with Deacon Jones, Lamar Lundy, and Rosie Greer. Just a great, great football player. Great, great guy. So lovable. Yeah, just like a big, lovable dude. Just like yourself. Thank you. And also a 14-time Pro Bowler, man. He was just a great guy and a great football player. So he has passed away. And former Padre Brian Giles has hung up his cleats. He signed a one-year deal to play this year with the Dodgers. He's got an arthritic knee. It's not going to happen. He's done. He's done. He finishes with a 291 career average with 287 home runs. Very solid player.

39:43Very great for the Padres. He said he's just going to hang out with his daughters in his San Diego home. Wow. So he's coming back to chill for a bit. And do you guys remember Marion Jones? Of course. Marion Jones is an Olympic runner? Yeah. Did a little jail time. Did a lot of steroids. Won a lot of medals. She got stripped of all her medals. She has a new career. She's joining the WNBA's Tulsa Shock. And for those of you that don't remember, she was the starting point guard on North Carolina's national championship team. So she's a tall lady? Tall lady. Fast lady. But she hasn't played competitive basketball in like 15 years. So they're saying it's kind of a publicity move. This is her talking about her new career. Cut three. Word redemption is not in my vocabulary. This is an opportunity for me to realize a dream. This is an opportunity for me to share my message of hope, of second chances. Redemption doesn't creep into the equation for me. This is a new part of my journey. I agree with her. Yeah. Everybody deserves a second chance. She played for like three seasons at UNC, right? She's really, really good. That was 15 years ago. But still, she knows the game. Yeah, for sure. You don't forget that. Okay, we'll see. So does Joe Montana. Right. But Joe is a little old. He's a little old to still be out there. Joe Montana with the WNBA.

41:05Yeah. It just doesn't make sense, Mike. All right. Odd comparison. That is Woods on sports. So what about kids, cell phones, TVs, computers? Sienna, what's your take on that? Well, there's a list that just came out. Asking parents, when do you think kids should have these electronics, cell phones, computers, and TVs? When should their first one be? What do you guys think? I got Jake a... iPod Touch. Nice. Stop it. What? Yeah, why not? For Christmas. It's awesome. The reason I got it was because we download episodes of Blue's Clues, and you can put it on the iPod Touch, and then he can, you know, watch it. And then, you know, he ruined it four days after. Thank you. Does Jake have a TV in his room? Uh-uh. Oh, yeah, he does, but it's for Rebecca, not for him. It was in his room for, like, you know, when she was... when she first had him so it stayed in there so now it's never watched so let's go around the the room here when do you think is the proper appropriate age for a child to get a cell phone freshman in high school jay that's jay father of four hundred percent and i really do listen to jay like when jay you know because he's got four kids yeah and so when i when he has an opinion i you know as a guy

42:25With young, young kids, he's got older kids. I go, okay, I want to take that into consideration. You don't want him texting too soon because they'll say stuff on text that they won't say in person. Yes, they will. That terrifies me. Sexting. Okay, now I definitely, my day just left my body. My day just left my mind. Oh, man. I guess 46 would probably be the most important. I'm saying 10. 10? Oh, my gosh, Woods. Yeah. A phone? Yeah, dude. Yeah, because you want to be able to get a hold of them for safety, right? Absolutely. I want to know where they are. If they need me, they can call me. I don't want them sending smoke signals to me and my wife when we're looking for them. When they're 10, I'll be able to see them because they're not getting that far away from me. Jay got me back. He's got me back in on his plan. Okay, so he goes and spends the night at a friend's house. Sorry, Jay. You're never going to let him spend the night at a friend's house? Really? They have a phone at their house. Do they? Yeah. I don't have one at my house. Well, get the parents' cell phone number. Yeah, you get the parents' cell phone. All his friends, I have their cell phone numbers of the parents. So he better be within grabbing distance. They sneak out. Did you ever sneak out when you were little? Ten years old? They go teepeeing. Yeah, you just go toilet papering. Question. I did that, too. Question. So giving them a cell phone will certainly solve them sneaking out problem. Not at all. But I'll tell you what.

43:48Are you sneaking out right now? No. They sneak out, something happens. Yeah. Then they're stranded somewhere. What did we ever do before there were cell phones? I know. Well, we got ourselves out of trouble. But people were a lot less creepy back then, it seemed like. How many cell phones are you going to go through for a 10-year-old? What do you mean? You can't be responsible. As a 10-year-old, I could not keep. My mom had to hook the house key to my pants. Have you seen mine? It's beat to, it's beaten up. I still can't take care of it, but still. Woods is like a 10-year-old. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Fair enough. Question. Yeah. Can you get your kid a cell phone and set it to where they can only do certain things on it? Yes. And you can have complete control over it? Yes. I'm fine with that. Yeah. That's what I would do. Fine with that. Well, this was a national survey here, and it says 5% of people think that kids under 9 should have their own cell phone. 28% of people think that kids should have their own cell phone between the ages of 9 and 12. Woods is in there. I'm in there with Woods. 61% of people think that kids should have one between the ages of 13. to 18. Oh, yeah. That's the majority. And 6% said that they should wait until they're 18. Oh, man. Imagine if those were your parents. They were like, nope. Never. I'd give my kids a cell phone under 9. Yep. I would, but I would, uh, the only thing it would be able to do is receive and make calls. Yeah, no texting. You can turn texting off. Yeah, they don't need the internet. They don't need internet. You can limit the numbers that they call, too. You can? Yeah.

45:11Oh, my gosh. Technology is really great. Todd and I have been talking about getting my stepdaughter's eight and we kind of want to get her one. Yeah. And we're like, I think she's too young still because she leaves stuff at a friend's house and everything still. So I think that 10 will for sure get her one by 10. Yep. I think you do this. I think you get your kid a cell phone if they, you know, you get your kid a cell phone if they want one. Right. Yeah. Well, this is if they want one. I have different rules. If they want one, you go, OK, I'll get you one. But if you lose it, that's it. Yep. And then when they lose it and they freak out and cry and it wasn't their fault like I did. That was last week, right? Yeah, it was last week, last Tuesday, if memory serves. And then, but I don't know. Maybe they wouldn't even have to ask me because maybe I would get it for them because I want them to have it for safety. How old are your kids, Harold? How old are you? Six, eight, and ten. Six, eight, and ten. Do any of your kids have a cell? Ten-year-old. Ten-year-old. Now, what was the...

46:10Did you have an actual thought? Come up to the microphone, Harold. Did you have an actual, like, this is what we're going to do? Was there a plan? How did it happen? Well, we had a friend picking our kids up from school one day because both my wife and I were busy. Right. The friend slept in, and my kids were waiting for somebody to pick them up. Oh, the worst. Oh, my gosh. And it was about, what, three days later, our 10-year-old had a phone. Yeah. For sure. For sure, man. She can get a hold of me. Anytime she wants. Did your friend just feel miserable? Did your friend just feel miserable? Of course. Absolutely. Do you have restrictions on it? Not yet, but we don't have a reason to. Yeah, fair enough. She does text one of her friends and maybe 10 times a month. There's a great line in the best movie ever made. Footloose. Stop it! You know what's so funny? It sounded like... Like Steve just said, footloose. Yeah, I did. I said footloose. Oh, footloose. Yeah, and John Lithgow says, if we don't trust our kids, when will they ever become trustworthy? Right. Think about that. Think on that for a minute. Wasn't he the bad guy in the movie? No, he was the preacher. I know, but wasn't he like the bad guy? And at the end of the movie, like... He's got a good heart. There you go, dude. I do like this song. How could you not?

47:35It's a good question. Do you know the dance? You know I know the dance. Do it. There's a dance, like a particular dance. I need a whole floor. You have it. I have to slide on my knees and stuff. Yeah, you need like oleum and everything. Plus you need like a Volkswagen Bug. Yeah. So should we go into computers? Yeah, I want to know. That scares me way more. See, and I think that I would much rather give a younger child a cell phone than a computer. Yeah. You agree? Yeah. I would rather give my kid a cell phone than a computer, but... We're in an age now where to not have a computer is not really, it's not appropriate. To not have one? No, it's not. What do you need one for? What do I need one? Not you. What does Jake need one for in three years? Okay, well, let's talk about age, right? So what age? 12 to 13. Oh, my gosh. When they start writing papers and stuff. But what about if your house just had, I agree with Woods, like what if your house just had a desktop, you know, like it was a family computer, not their own computer. Because your eight-year-old is going to be on Girls Gone Wild? What are you thinking here? It's mine. He probably will. I think about some of the stuff I've looked at on the old laptop. I want nothing to do with it. Set parental stuff. Yeah, fair enough. But then I can't get into it. No, you can have a password.

48:52Am I coming into my filthy stuff if I can't get into that thing? M1 Mario, are you there? Yeah, I'm here, man. What do you think about 10-year-olds with phones? I don't think it's so much the age, but I think it has to be justified. You know, like if kids are walking home, walking to school and stuff like that, then yeah, they need one. But I mean, just because of the age, I mean, there's no reason. There's no age limit. It's all situations. Yeah, I think that the situation for 10-year-olds is... The same, though, and that is that if anything like what Harold was talking about happens, you want your kid to have a phone. Yeah. For sure. Well, the majority of parents think that a child should have their own computer between the ages of 9 and 12. 9 and 12? Mm-hmm. I'm in that part of the curve, yeah. Why, Woodsy? Why? I just, it's, there's so, you ever see the online Predator show, dude? I just don't want them being sucked into anything like that. What do you think, Lauren? I don't have kids yet, but I feel like I'm going to be the most old-fashioned parent. That seems young to me. You write a paper, you get the typewriter. I think high school, 100%. They start getting stuff in kindergarten where they're doing stuff. They're learning computers in kindergarten. We have our computer in a common room where we can see what's going on at all times. That's the way to go. The libraries all have access to computers. You go in there and you play the little

50:20games. There's math games they learn. I mean, you're taking away a crucial tool for their development. Yeah, and they learn that kind of stuff in school. Exactly. So you get home and, no, no, here's a stone and you can chisel out what you need to do. Here's your abacus. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Make it happen. Here's some little rocks that you can put together to add and subtract. You take this rock away. Then you have. You have four. Four. Okay. There were five, but daddy took one rock away. Okay. And finally, we have the child's first TV. Never. Never? I always had one for as long as I can remember. Lauren is 29 and doesn't have one. Her kids will be doing bonsai tree cutting in their room. Finger puppets. Sock puppets. Putting on Shakespearean plays. Exactly. Making dioramas. I think the younger the better. For a TV? Yeah. See, I don't. See, and I think, like Jenna, like I said, my stepdaughter, she's eight. I mean, when she goes to bed, she just, you know, pops in a movie. She falls asleep watching the movie. It's the easiest way to get her to go to sleep. Yeah. Well, and Rebecca, when we had Jake, our first son, we were very, very diligent that it was only going to be 30 minutes of TV a day. You're one of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine too. Well, here's what happens. Then you have another kid and you're like.

51:42It's a babysitter. Where's the DVD? Where's Elmo? Where's Elmo? Baby Einstein. Well, the majority of parents think that children should have their first TV between the ages of 13 to 18. Wow. I kind of agree. Their own TV. Yeah, their own. So old. I kind of agree. Speaking of phones, I have questions. Yeah. And I think that this is... Anybody can get involved in this one and what you think about this. But if you've got your cell phone and somebody calls you and they don't leave a voicemail, are we obligated to call them back? No, absolutely not. No. Yes, absolutely. Lauren. I call back. You do. I don't leave voicemails. Jason. Sorry, I was on the phone. If you get a missed call on your cell. I absolutely call it immediately back.

52:44Don't leave me a message. I'll call you back. I don't leave messages. When people leave a message, hey, this is Susan. Call me back. I'm like, I could have gotten that from seeing that you called. No. I won't. No way. You don't call back? No. It's like, yes, they didn't leave a message. I don't have to call them back. I hate checking voicemails. I hate checking voicemails. You do? I hate it. Why would you? I just do. Because here's me half the time. Time-consuming and boring. What is this? Like, I just don't just... I'll call you back. So if you get a message, you think, like, maybe this is not going to be something I want to hear. Yeah. Weird. If it's important, you leave a message. If it's not, you don't. And you don't need to call him back. I feel guilty. Yep. That's why I do. Dude, didn't you see my call? You didn't see that I called you? Yeah, but you didn't leave a message. Yeah, but I called you. Why didn't you leave me a message? Because I called you. Well, I didn't know what you were calling about. I didn't know how important it was. So you saw that I called. Call me back. Maybe you said, maybe you were just going to say, let's go to lunch. And it was past lunchtime. How am I supposed to know? You know how you're supposed to know? How? Call me back. Find out. But I didn't get it until after lunch. You know how else I might know? How? You say that on my voicemail. It's called voicemail. Yeah, exactly. It's like mail with your voice. I don't want to check my voicemail. Why don't you leave it? And then I'll open up my little mailbox. And I'll go, oh, there's Woodsy. What do you want, Woodsy? Send me a text. Yeah. Yeah. No, see, and I hate voicemail, too. But I think.

54:07If you don't leave a voicemail, then send a text after. It's easier. Is there anything worse than the, my friend in Dallas, who shall not be named, sends me these all the time. Call me, dude, immediately. So my heart starts racing. I'm like, what happened? Hey, what's up, dude? How's the show going? Everything cool? I'm like, dude, don't send me that crazy, like, call me immediately. Yeah, don't do that. And he leaves voicemails every time. Drives me batty. My brother may be listening online. And so it's way better to communicate with him this way. But he does this thing where every voicemail that he leaves me is four seconds long. Mike, Steve, call me. Unnecessary. Unnecessary. That one is, yeah. I mean, that one. But you don't get a reception a lot where you are. So sometimes if someone calls you... Yeah, I live in Catalina Islands. I come in on the ferry every morning. Yeah, I come in on the ferry. What do you mean, Laura? What do you mean? I don't know. You always are like... Sorry. He's not Asian, Lauren. He's not Asian. He's Latino. That's right. Yeah, that's me leaving a message for Lauren. We got more of these. Oh, I have a big question I just dealt with.

55:27Throw it out there and then let's go to break. Let people call about it. I got a text message. Someone heard me on the air the other day and they texted me to make fun of me. And I didn't know the number. It wasn't programmed to my phone. So I just didn't respond because I didn't want to say, excuse me, who is this? Because it's rude. Do you respond to texts that you don't recognize? Do you respond to that? 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. And if you have those questions. that we haven't mentioned call us to. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. It's a nonstop sex parade. She's Out of My League. Rated R. Starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. Do you remember when you used a dial-up to access the internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed, and now you're doing more and more on the Internet. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with Dial-Up. And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than Dial-Up? Here's the deal. If you want super fast Internet without all the lag you get with DSL, switch to Earthlink from Time Warner Cable.

56:50See, Time Warner Cable has this advanced fiber network. So with it, Earthlink is 13 times faster than DSL. 13 times. That's huge. Seriously, getting Earthlink for your internet service is such a no-brainer. Pick up the phone and call them 1-800-CABLE-TV to get Earthlink from Time Warner Cable for only $36.95 a month. That's 1-800-CABLE-TV or go to timewarnercable.com anytime. Some restrictions apply. Do you think blue? Well, you do if your business cares about clean beaches and waterways. FM 94.9 wants to hear what you and your business do to think blue. Are you careful about what goes into storm drains? Do your employees properly dispose of trash, leaves, debris, hazardous materials, and more? Your business could be rewarded for your efforts to think blue. Tell us the creative and environmentally conscious ways your business is preventing storm drain pollution. Do you have pollution prevention programs at work? Does your business volunteer at community cleanups? If your business is chosen, you'll in one week of paid advertisements promoting your business. Be creative and enter your Think Blue submission at FM949SD.com. That's FM949SD.com. Get a week's worth of free advertising just for doing the right thing. Think Blue, San Diego, and get rewarded by FM949 for doing so. Submit online today at FM949SD.com. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt.

58:18Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public by being burdened with credit card debt. To aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344. We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344 800-724-1344 Again, that's 800-724 1-3-4-4. Suffering from high interest rates on your credit cards, barely able to make just the minimum payments on your debts? We here at the Bankruptcy Law Center can help. Call 1-800-718-9688.

59:23Or go to our website at GetOutOfDebtSanDiego.com. You can file for a bankruptcy and still keep your home and your cars. You can erase your second mortgage and stop the foreclosure process. Most people think bankruptcy destroys your credit, yet many people actually have better credit after they file. Call the Bankruptcy Law Center to set up a free consultation with a lawyer today at 1-800-718-718. 1-800-718-9688. Or go to our website, getoutofdeutsandiego.com. Attorney Aaron Tiller is responsible for this ad. Nothing in this ad should be construed as legal advice. Taylor Lava. Taylor Lava. Taylor Lava. Taylor Lava. Taylor Lava. Mama Testa Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? FM 94.9 presents Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.

1:00:36Saturday, March 13th at the House of Blues. With the Wigs. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Saturday, March 13th at the House of Blues. Tickets available now at livenation.com. See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. Are you seriously not wearing any underwear? What? She's Out of My League. Rated R. Starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. This report is brought to you by SeaWorld. Wish you could take your favorite all-inspiring Shamu splashing moments and relive them whenever you want. You can. Pay for a day. Come back all year with the SeaWorld Fun Card. Get yours at SeaWorld.com. On the 163 southbound after Kearneyville erode an accident, the fire department's on the scene. This could be a vehicle down the embankment. Toad truck with about 100 feet of cable has been called. Also, the 5 northbound before Loma Santa Fe drive an accident there earlier. They have cleared it. Sig alert is cleared as well. Also brought to you by your San Diego Farmers Insurance Agents with Farmers. You don't just get insurance, you get ready. Get to know your Farmers Agent, Greg Hutt. Call him today at 619-298-7770. Because ready feels good. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. St. Elmo's Fire? No. St. Elmo's Fire.

1:02:23This is in St. Elmo's Fire? No, I don't think so. It was either that or Kasha Gugu. I think it was Howard the Duck that this was the soundtrack for, Mike. It's Goodfellas. Yeah, man. There's a truck with an ice locker in the back of it opening up right now. Frankie Carbone. Yeah, Frankie Carbone. Hanging from a hook. Yeah, Frankie Carbone is, you know, maybe said a little too much, you know? Hey, Frankie, maybe, uh... Maybe right after Lufthansa, you don't show up with a brand new Cadillac and your wife in that fur, okay? Just an idea. Okay, what'd you do? Just take it back. Yes, take it back. Take it back. I don't care what you do. Take it back, all right? Take it back. I don't care. Take it back. The best movie ever. Most, I'm not saying all, most women, not their cup of tea. Goodfellas? Yeah. My wife doesn't get it. Mine does. Yeah? She loves the mafia. Yeah, my wife's like, don't really, don't. Don't see the appeal. Well, she's forced to watch Sopranos. She's seen every episode at least 10 times because of me. Yeah. He'll watch the same episodes over and over and over again. The topic right now is, well, first of all, we were talking about getting your kids cell phones and stuff like that. But we were also talking about kind of phone etiquette. Like stuff with a cell phone and the cell phone etiquette. If you get a, like let's say you get a phone call, they don't leave a message. Are you obligated to call back?

1:03:54And what about this? If you were to get a text message and not recognize the number, are you to respond to it? Yes. Yes. I didn't. You don't? You have to. It just happened to me. I feel bad. It doesn't surprise me that Sienna did. I know. Sienna doesn't like the reply all. I don't like the reply all emails. I hardly ever do them. Every once in a while she does. Only if it's really worth it. Yeah. I will not return your phone call if you don't leave me a message because it's my get out of jail free card. Didn't leave me a message. I'm over it. Yeah. But I got a text a couple days ago from a number I didn't recognize and they were making fun of me. It's something I said on the air. And I was like, don't know who you are. It's not programmed. Not texting back. Right. But, I mean, I kind of wanted to find out who it was. Yeah, curiosity doesn't get the best of you? No, it was bothering me, but I didn't want to be like, oh, excuse me. Oh, who is this? It's easy bit. It's an easy, hey, got a new phone. Liar. And did not have all my numbers transfer over. Same thing. Yeah, same, right? Lauren, you do that? Oh, yeah. Same thing. Liars. Yeah, I have a question.

1:05:10Why are you liar face? Little white lies. It's not going to hurt anybody. Tell me lies. Tell me sweet little lies. But why can't you just say, hey, I don't recognize this number? Sometimes I will be like, who is this? Point blank. Oh, never. Depending on what they said. Then you get the back, like some dude I play baseball with, like, what is he? You don't have my number anymore? You're like, I got a new phone. I got a new phone. Well, did you delete his number purposefully? Well, what if you, see, I don't, I've never deleted anybody's number purposefully. I just, I'll let numbers stay in there. You don't do a little, a little flesh out? A little clean up? You don't do a colonoscopy on your phone every now and then? No. I do. I do. I have two things to say about that. One, you guys are going to have karma and the next day you're going to lose your phone in your face. Yeah. Two, if you don't text this person regularly, put your name at the end of it. That's what I do. Yeah. If you know. Like, if there's a small doubt in your mind, this person may not have my number anymore, put your name. The signature bit, I hate when people have signatures. But not everyone. It's Vienna, BTW. Bacon tastes wonderful. Yeah, bacon tastes wonderful. BTW, is that what that means? By the way. I have no problems responding with, hey, your number's not in my phone. Who is this? There's nothing, you know, and they respond and they tell me. I get so paranoid. I had a call the other day from...

1:06:36Some dude, I guess. It was a 760 number. I'm like, who is this? Oh, God. What do they want? I called him back. Hey, this is Steve. I'm not in. Leave a message. I'm like, who is this guy? I'm like, oh, my God. I called him back immediately. Nothing. Text. Who is this? Nothing back. I got it. I just lay there all night going, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. That's like, I cannot stand. And I don't know why people do this. If a number calls you, you don't know the number. They don't leave a message. And you still call back. Hi, this is Sienna. I just got a call from you. Every time. Why do you do that? Every. Creeper. My wife will not answer. If she doesn't know the number, she won't answer. I answer every single call that comes to this phone. If I don't know the number, if it's restricted or unknown, I'm like, sorry, you're going to voicemail. You do every time. M1 Andrea. Yes. It was like last week, me and my boyfriend were sitting at the house hanging out, and then I get this text message from a 205 area code, and I'm like, it's in Spanish.

1:07:42And he does. So we're reading this text message, and then it's so long, we get another one. And it's like, I know deep inside that you still love me and that in your heart, you know, we'll be together. And I pray to God that you'll trust me again and just know that you can always count on me. But it's all in Spanish. And this person cared enough to send it so that it's so long, it's two messages. And I'm like, oh, my God, what do I do? What'd you do? I was like, should I ask who it is? I felt so bad because, you know, you don't. Right. You have to let them know. Yeah. And I didn't get anything back, and I was just like that person. You just ruined their life. Yeah, right. You just ruined their life. I felt bad enough about it that we're like, well, let's see if we can do a reverse lookup on the phone number. It was out at Tacoma, Washington, and that was all that I could find. I didn't have the guts to call them back because, one, I don't really speak Spanish. I don't want to embarrass them further, but, oh, my God, I just poured my heart out to some random stranger. I have a question about that. Yeah. How did they mess it up?

1:08:56It happens. Wrong number. Change the number. I don't know, but I would figure if you're going to point a heart out to somebody, you'd probably have that, like, saved in your phone. That's what I'm saying. Like, if you're doing this sort of an apology, don't you know the person relatively well enough to know their current phone number? Do you know it's under Katie or whatever, like, in your phone? Well, he's been going through years of anguish, and he finally built up the courage to be like, that's it. Is that what it was? I'm not going to call her. I'm going to text her. I'm going to text her right now. And then she said, who is this? And he was like. Funnily enough, I got one last night from a rando. Yeah? A rando. You asleep, B and B. B and B? From a random? Bed and breakfast. Yeah, bed and breakfast. It says, you sleep, question mark, B and B. And I go, I wrote back, no idea who you are. Who is this? I would say that if it's the wrong number text. Yeah. What'd they say? Nothing. Scared to death. They said, yeah, they were like, I'm scared to death. I don't know who this is. Good, because I'm watching you. You look so peaceful when you sleep. You look so cute when you're sleeping. Stop. I would not be able to sleep after that. Luckily, I got it this morning. As I was reading my...

1:10:28Emails from Michael, I ran across this little gem in my phone. It said, you sleep? Yeah, you sleep. The A was so hard to put in the us sleep. Can I pull the curtain back? Sure. Woodsy, did I inappropriately not text you back yesterday? Because in an email that you wrote this morning, you said something to the effect of, thanks for not texting me back, pal. He was pacing for hours. You don't remember that? We all saw it. It was a reply all. It was a reply all. It wasn't to you. It wasn't? It's to Jay. Oh, it's to Jay. I said, Jay, you love me so much. Write me back, pal. Texted the guy twice. No response bit. Yeah, you didn't know who it was. Don't lie to me, dude. You lie to girls, okay? You don't lie to me. This thing I've ever heard a man say. That is the filthiest thing. You don't lie to me. You lie to girls. And you can tell by the way you said it. He's said it 80 times. That's who we got.

1:11:28You don't lie to me, pal. You lie to girls. That's right. Wow. That's pretty funny. M1 Dexter. Are you there? Go ahead. I was just calling about the kids with cell phones. Yeah. I'm a single parent. Just got stationed down here in San Diego and don't really know anybody. Welcome. I have a kid 10 and 12. Uh-huh. And since I really don't know anybody, I got them phones with a family locator. Mm-hmm. And that way, if, like, say, they're supposed to be in a certain place at a certain time, like in school. If they're not in that location, it sends me a text message saying that they're not in that location. And then I can search there and check where they're at. That's fantastic. Awesome. And I just thought of something, too, is, you know, we were coming up with these situations of when a kid should have a cell phone. Right. Yeah. And I'm thinking to myself, can you imagine if you're the parent who for the first time is letting their kids fly to go visit the grandparents? Yep. Just the thought because we're talking about bad flights the other day and things that go wrong on flights and when flights are kind of nuts and when flights are scary and blah, blah, blah. Imagine you're the parent that's sending the kid somewhere and your kid don't have a cell phone. That would. Yeah. And yeah, I understand that 20 years ago, kids didn't have cell phones when they flew.

1:12:45But 20 years ago, we were worried sick until we got a phone call from somebody's house after they had landed, got in the car, drove to grandma's house. But they also had pay phones in the airport. Do they even have pay phones at an airport anymore? Does a kid know how to use a pay phone? I haven't seen one in years. How much does a pay phone cost? Does anybody know? $17. 80,000 kids in San Diego listening right now just went, what's a pay phone? $1,800 collect. Yeah. How much does it cost for a call? Anybody know? I have no idea. 35 cents the last time I made a call. I don't even think they're existing. 35? I think so, yeah. Were you in a prison cell? What were you doing with a pay phone? 50 cents? What was, Lauren, what's an occasion for you to use a pay phone? When I came back from traveling, I didn't have a cell phone. Yeah? I didn't have a car. I didn't have a place to live. Yeah? Trying to get in touch with people. So you were like Superman. You're in the pay phone. She had to find people's houses to sleep at on the couch. Exactly. Sending Morse code to her friends. Yeah, right? I got into the airport and had to use a cell phone. A pay phone. I mean, a pay phone. My goodness. Hello, it's Lauren. It's Lauren. Hi there, it's Lauren. I'm at the airport. Airport, right. Can you pick up? Hey, honey, we're getting a Morse code from... Getting another Morse code from Lauren. I think she needs a ride, so we should probably... Wait a minute. No. Says she...

1:14:09Bring kombucha, it says, and get down there to the airport to pick her up. Let's see. M1 John, are you there? Yeah. What's going on? Yeah, I heard you guys talking about bad stuff going on, and I've got a pretty good one. My worst flight, I was coming back to California from Houston, and out of nowhere, the plane just, like, took a nosedive. I mean. And we found out it was about eight seconds. I know I didn't really see him that long, but imagine thinking you're going to die for eight seconds. I mean, like, the lights flickered on and off and went out. Like, the luggage was falling out of the overhead compartments. And the freaking weirdest thing was, like, everything ended up being okay. I mean, you know, as Wood would say, I filed some papers in my pants. But the pilot never even announced, never announced what happened. Like, you know, at the end, it's like, bye-bye, bye-bye. Yeah. Well, and I can tell you from my days as a professional bull rider that eight seconds is quite a while. It's really a long time. Long time. Yeah, dude, that is, were you, how did it, what happened? It just started leveling out? The plane leveled out after the dip? Yeah, I mean, you just felt like a strong, I mean, like a pullback, like, you know, like a roller coaster.

1:15:28shooting back up because it finally turned and started going back up. But it was, I mean, it kind of, you know, got smooth again after that. And then we hit a little more turbulence and stuff, but like normal turbulence before and after that. But yeah, it was, I mean, it was about half an hour before the end of the flight. It all happened and they never explained why. Do you still fly? Yeah, I do. My brother doesn't. He was with me at the time. He won't fly now. I would assume that you guys would have bought the John Madden bus. Yeah. Everywhere you went. Yeah, everything's a bus. Yeah. You know, my wife, Rebecca, used to be deathly. Thanks for the call, John. My wife, Rebecca, used to be very deathly afraid of flying. And A, Xanax helped. But besides that, the thing that was the biggest deal for her. was just kind of realizing, like, this is all good. Like, you know, everything's fine. I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, because Woodsy is deathly afraid of it. Not deathly, but, like, afraid enough to where I'm like, I have to psych myself up to get on the plane pretty much. You know what you need, bro? What? Fly partner. Do I? No. Yeah, you need a fly partner, bro. What's that? It's when you have a friend, all right, that's a good friend that will go on a flight with you.

1:16:44When you've got to fly somewhere, and he will hold your hand. Well, most of the time my wife does that. I know, but right now you don't have it here. Yeah, that's true. So you've got to take a flight, take your boy Frankie, and, you know, I'll hold your hand. No. That'd look a little weird, I think. What do you mean? Me and you holding hands on the plane. I mean, I have a wife. I'm a married man. It ain't like that. Yeah, it's not like that. It's not like you're cheating. You're making it seem weird, like something weird going on. Ain't nothing weird going on. You're starting to freak me out acting like that. I'm starting to freak you out. Yeah, you're acting a little twinkle toes on me if we're being honest. I mean, all I'm trying to say is I'll be your fly partner. I don't need a fly partner. And then we'll go on flights together and hold hands. No. It's a friend helping a friend, Woods. People helping people? Woods, let me tell you, dude. I have an idea. Okay. Why don't this weekend me and you go look at girls? Yeah. I'm going to be out of town, but maybe the next weekend we can do it. Yeah, and then afterwards I'll face paint you. For what? Like a clown or something. I don't want to face paint. You're a clown. You'll make me break out.

1:17:50We'll put on some stuff. Yeah, don't be a wood. Yeah, you're being weird about it. It could be funny. We'll put it on the website. I don't want it on the website. Dude, I'll make you into a kitty cat, dude. That would be funny. Maybe. Woods with whiskers. Maybe we do that. Yeah, I mean, it's getting to the point where he's freaking out now because I want to face paint him. Yeah, what would you face paint Frankie? Bulldog? Yeah, dude, what would you face paint me? I have no... Ballerina, maybe? You know, dude, you're starting to get twinkle toes on me. I don't know what you're even talking about with that. You're just a little, it just comes off a little weird. I don't know. Like, I've never had a dude tell me he wants to hold my hand or oil me up or shave me. It's because your shoulders are tense. Yeah, he's reading into it. I'm coming over. No. Let me come over. I don't like it. I give you a little on the shoulder. I don't need it. Who doesn't want their shoulders done? I don't. You'll loosen right up. It's disgusting. Come on, Woods. Lighten up. I know. Woods, you're obviously uptight. A little bit. Yeah. I don't know. I understand it. Dude skews me out. 570-1949. Or you could text us 949mikey at gmail.com.

1:19:01I was on a flight. We didn't nosedive, but we had a really, really turbulent flight. And like ridiculous, like get in your seat. Everyone's kind of looking at each other like white knuckles clenched. And then the pilot finally gets on about a half hour after this ridiculous, like I'm talking stuff falling over. And he says, well, that was rough. And we're going to try and land now, but we've got to circle around a few times because there's about 12 planes that need to come on the runway. And he goes, we're kind of low on gas. Hopefully we make it. Oh, wow. I'm not kidding you. Perfect. I am not kidding you. Perfect. And my sister is like kind of half asleep. I'm like, did you just hear what you said? That's terrifying. They never explained it. No apologies. They were like, have a nice day. When we got off the flight, I'm like, seriously? Ugh. Ugh. I don't really have a problem with flying. I think it's pretty safe. That surprises me to no end. It's safe, bro. You know, you always get up there, you come down. They all do that. Very rarely does anything go wrong. Knock on every piece of wood near you. I was on a flight as a kid, and as we landed, the whole back end of the motor fell off. It was like the whole thing that holds the jet. It just fell off on the runway. Well, planes back in the 50s weren't necessarily as strong as they are now. Did you like Orville Wright when you met him? Yeah, and he had great popcorn as well. That's Orville Redenbacher. That's right. That same guy? Yeah. They're brothers. Now, what was Amelia Earhart like?

1:20:30She was sweet. Good kisser. Charles Lindbergh. He was a nice guy. Let's see. M1 Jessie. Hi. What happened to you? Okay. We went to Vegas for 777 with everyone else. The day before our wedding, 7607, we're flying from San Diego to Vegas. The engine that I am currently sitting over on the wing goes out. Oh. Uh-huh. Captain Gets On The Line says that they think that the engine went out because maybe a bird flew into it. They're not sure. We're going to do a flyby, see what's going on. We don't know if it was the engine, if it was the landing gear, so we're going to fly by LAX. The day before my wedding.

1:21:38Dude. Just let me live to tell the story. Let us see a story. Let us see a story. More. But the whole plane was silent. No one was talking. Girls were crying all over the place. Oh, that is so crazy. What happened? What were you going to say? No, I was just giving you this. Did you see the aviator mic? Yes. That's the same thing that happened to me. That's right. I was flying the spruce goose. Yes, that's right. And birds crashed through my engine. Thank you for the call. I appreciate it, Jesse. You're welcome. Thank you very much. It scares me to death. 570-1949 is the number. Are you interested in doing the Incorporator, Woods? I am. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we will be doing the Incorporator here in just a minute. Woodsy, explain how the Incorporator came about. Sure. Before I took this wonderful job, I was in sales and recruiting for like the last 10 or 12 years. part of my job was to make a lot of cold calls on the telephone. And if you do that every day, you really turn into a robot and it gets really, really old. It gets boring. It's the same conversation, the same pitch every single day. So a couple of guys I worked with, Adam and Murphy, we came up with this game called Incorporation. And what we would do is I'd be on the phone with a client or with a potential recruit for our company. And I'm pitching them and I'm selling them on the idea and how great the company is.

1:23:04And they'd be throwing me words that I have to incorporate into the conversation. Now, you know, I remember one day it was Teletubbies. So I'm talking to you on the phone and I've got to get that word in there somehow. So I'm talking to a candidate and he's like, well, tell me about Reach Local. And I said, well, listen, dude, it's a very hard job. I mean, if you want to sit home and watch Teletubbies all day, that's up to you. But this is a job that's going to require you to be in the office. So I got really good at it after a while and can get, you know, those kind of common words and phrases. into a conversation and make it seamless so we want listeners to call us right now and give us some words for woods to work in for the incorporator well i'm finding that the perfect number is about eight yeah eight words is about perfect and uh really words i love words um because it's great to work a word in and what This is what you have to expel from your mind, M1s, is the idea of it being a challenge. It's not like you're trying to come up with some weird word that no one knows. It's actually more fun when you come up with a common word that's just random. The best one we've had, I think Sienna came up with, and it was panther. And I had to work the word panther. Now, there's been some different ones like Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

1:24:27That's a name of a movie. And it's pretty easy to do. Hey, man, have you seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off? That's not that hard. It's harder to work, you know, panther or a common phrase like... Top of the morning. Top of the morning. You know what I mean? Try to get the gist of the game. Now, you can try to stump me. I'm going to get it in there. I'm going to make it happen. What about carrot cake? Perfect. You've got to work carrot cake into it somehow. You need crab cake? To whatever man. 570-1949. Call us right now and give us some common words and phrases for Woods to work into the Incorporator, which we will do next. Also, Donald Trump was on Letterman last night and decided to awkwardly bring up Letterman's extortion case. And we have the audio. And we'll play it for you next.

1:26:04Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. It's a nonstop sex parade. She's out of my league. Rated R starts today. For a sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. Now you can. Now you can. Get exceptional offers on new and certified pre-owned BMWs during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas. Lease a 2010 BMW 128i Coupe for only $279 a month plus tax. Or a 2010 528i sedan for only $489 a month plus tax. Or get up to $2,500 spring drive credit plus 0.9% APR financing on select models. And don't forget, you can save thousands on our huge select. All offers with approved credit and expire 430-2010.

1:27:24So if you have not called AIS yet, you should. AIS Auto Insurance, the auto insurance specialists are fantastic in hooking you up with a great deal with your auto insurance. I saved $1,600 a year when I personally made the switch to AIS. And you can save money too. It's that simple. In fact, if you were a listener before. And you've saved money with me. And you can call me and tell me about how much you've saved with AIS. I would love to have you call us and tell us your story about it. Some of these stories are crazy. I know it. You can save so much money. For sure. Especially if you combine your policy. Like maybe you're going to, you want to combine your renter's insurance, your homeowner's insurance with your auto insurance. That's a way to do it. And then the other thing that we've talked about is just how easy it is, how little time it takes, and how they set everything up for you, and you don't have to worry about it. It really is incredible. Here's the number. 1-800-777-4AIS. 1-800-777-4AIS.

1:28:33A-I-S. At HalfPriceSanDiego.com, they sell gift cards that spend just like cash. Half Price San Diego is excited to have the healing arts and wellness center in Pacific Beach back on. This March, it's massage madness. Where else can you get a one-hour massage for $22.50? Only at Healing Arts in Pacific Beach. Spring Break is here, so you know it's time to get geared up at Surf Ride Board Shop in Oceanside and Solana Beach. From the oceans to the streets, Surf Ride's vision is to get everyone as stoked on riding the elements as they are. Visit either the Solana Beach or... your Oceanside Surfride locations and online at surfride.com. Surfride, still course at 74. And don't forget, the Lumberyard Tavern and Grill is the new place in Encinitas for awesome food, sports, and drinks. Don't miss their grand opening party March 16th. Enter the Lumberyard's College Basketball Championship Contest and win a trip to Vegas. You love Vegas and you'll love the Lumberyard Tavern and Grill in Encinitas. Register today and receive HalfPriceSanDiego.com's weekly emails so that you know about all the deals first. It's a win. This is an important alert from the lawn desk. Yes, it's tough to grow grass around here. But when the growing gets tough, the tough get growing. So repeat after me. I want to grow grass. I can grow grass. And by golly, I will grow grass. How? Scott's Turf Builder Grass Seed with WaterSmart. Turf Builder has Scott's WaterSmart coating that absorbs and releases water to keep the seed moist longer than uncoated seed. So it grows, even if you miss a day of watering.

1:30:01And Scott's premium tall fescue mix was specially developed to survive heat and drought and thrive season after season. See, nothing can stop you. A long, hot summer can't stop you. A dry spell can't stop you. Insects can't stop you. Only you can stop you. And you're sure not going to stop you, are you? You're going to get Scott's turf builder grass seed with WaterSmart and start planting the seeds of success. That concludes this Lawn Desk Alert. Scots, the official lawn care company of Major League Baseball. Cool. Stay tuned for a million bottle giveaway announcement. Do you have troubled skin, acne? Well, against the better judgment of our management team, we're going to prove to you once and for all that Proactiv works. So if you want to try it, give us a call because we're going to let a million people try Proactiv and receive our legendary refining face mask free if you call right now. You heard it. Be one of the first callers and you'll receive a 60-day trial of Proactiv solution risk-free plus a free refining face mask when you call 1-800-244-1946. Proactiv's combination therapy system uses prescription-grade acne medicine and soothing spa quality botanicals to create a powerful acne fighting system. It's so effective it transforms blemishes and bumps into clear, smooth skin. You can have beautiful, healthy-looking skin. Put us to the test and we'll prove it. Get your risk-free 60-day

1:31:22try out plus a free refining face mask call toll free now 1-800-244-1946 that's 1-800-244-1946 Mama Testa Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? See, the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. Are you seriously not wearing any underwear? What? She's Out of My League. Rated R. Starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. This report is brought to you by Nissan. Get quality now, get savings now. It's a Nissan Now sales event. The best deals ever on their best cars ever. That event ends soon. Get to a Nissan dealer now. On the 5 southbound before Old Town Avenue, a disabled pickup truck. It's got the number 5 lane blocked right now. Also, coming through Chula Vista, Bonita Road at E Street, an accident. Truck hit a barrier. And Lakeside's got a problem, too. Julian Avenue, a petite lane, an accident. A car in a minivan, eastbound lane of Julian's, blocked person.

1:32:30Ran a red light. They've got an ambulance responding. This report brought to you by Lifetime. Husband, con man, kidnapper. Based on a true story. Who is Clark Rockefeller? Premieres tomorrow at 9, 8 central on Lifetime. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning. Brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate, the drink that keeps on giving. Pass it to a friend. Share the love. Surf-wise today, it looks like we've got a little cleaner conditions, but maybe a little bit smaller. West-northwest windswell on the fade. Northwest groundswell holding fairly steadily. Touches south out there, too. So we've got some broken-up lines out there. Kind of a fat tide this morning. Five-foot-plus high tide at around 6'7". So that's going to slow down the reef quite a bit. But beach breaks look fairly fun. Broken up lines and pick and choose corners as the tide heads out. Look for those reef breaks to improve. Really clear skies out this morning. Beautiful morning. Calm winds. So it's classy. So not a bad day for a go out. For up to the minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. For everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of the South Coast Surf Shops, five locations.

1:33:45This surf report is brought to you by Guayaki Urbamate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. There's a cool show at Soma tonight. These dudes are talented, man. There's a local band here from San Diego called Get Back Loretta. They're playing tonight at Soma. Doors open at 7. $10 show. Pretty cool. Our boy M1 Danny told me about them. Send me some of their music and they're good. Get back Loretta tonight. It's almost 7 o'clock. Welcome back. It's the Mikey Show. Me doing a little incorporator here in just a second. So if you don't know, David, and by the way, if you don't know, I'm guessing you just woke up from a four-month nap. But David Letterman was extorted. He was having an affair.

1:35:15with a producer at CBS's girlfriend. And this producer decided that the way that he was going to get back at Letterman was he was going to extort him by saying, I want a lot of money or I'm going to write a screenplay about what you've done with my girlfriend. Two million dollars. Two million dollars. And so anyways, it was a very embarrassing situation for Letterman. Donald Trump is the guest last night and decides that he's going to Mention it on the show. What is the future of golf with Tiger Woods being in the position he's in now? And what do you foresee in terms of his future? Well, I think his future is great. He's a friend of mine. He's a really good guy. He's had a very tough few months. And by the way, you have too, and you've done a great job. I love what you did to the blackmailer. The blackmailer. I love what you did to the blackmailer. He's an idiot. The blackmailer. I wish more people had your attitude, David.

1:36:15About their blackmail. He's like, thank you. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. You know, David, when people are, you know, I just wish more people would deal with their blackmail in the same kind of sort of class that you have with your blackmail. You know, it's true. So many people, they settle, they take. This guy's tough. You hear Letterman? Did you? Okay. Okay, okay, okay. People are just awkwardly clapping. Yes. Oh, gosh. Yeah, okay, okay. Listen to Letterman. So many people, they settle, they take... This guy's tough. Why don't you come home with me tonight? Oh, my gosh. Please stop talking, please stop talking, please stop talking, please stop talking. Wouldn't his producers be like, listen, Donald, not a word, okay? Not one word about it. Donald, if you could just do us a favor, you could really talk about anything you'd like. Just don't bring up his extortion case. Or any of his multiple affairs, please. That's one thing. Well, two things he doesn't want to talk about tonight. But other than that, you know, apprentice, go for it. Have a ball. Have a ball. Woodsy, it's time for you to go. Because we are doing the Incorporator. He's got to work these words into a conversation. And Woodsy's good at it. We're going to go to the phones and let you M1s.

1:37:51Pick the common words and phrases. M1 Pete, are you there? Yeah. What word? It's a phrase from Chad Ochocinco. Child, please. Child, please. I love it. I love it. Thank you very much. M1 Chito. M1 Chito, are you there? It's on the freeway. Can you hear that jumping up and down? That's Woodsy out in the hallway. It may be burrito. Hey. He's shadow boxing. M1, what is it? Burrito. Burrito. I got you. What's your word? Sasquatch. Sasquatch it is. Yes. M1 dark coat. Shaggy dog. Shaggy dog. I had to hold a notepad up in front of me while I say it because Woodsy is reading my lips outside the window. Let's see. M1 Lizzie. Hey, guys. What's your word? Totem pole or broomstick. I had two. I picked broomstick. Broomstick. Hang on the line. Okay. Let's see. M1 Pamela. Aphrodisiac.

1:38:54Love it. Love it. Aphrodisiac. M1 Irani. Hi, Mikey. Hello. My word is blow dryer. You got it. Thank you very much. I'm going to give a word. Okay. Guantanamo. Oh, that's great. You got one, Sienna? Yeah, my hubby texted in. He said hippity hop. Hippity hop. It's a child's toy. We all remember them. I guarantee you he is going to. He's going to complain about it. He's going to complain about hippity hop. Well, he's going to complain about everyone that I give, so I'm okay with it. It's a, yeah. Well, let's try it. Let's see what he can do. Let's see what he can do with hippity hop. He's going to be so mad. Oh, he's going to be furious. Are you going to take my word? What? Are you going to take my word that I gave you? What did you give me? Rubber ducky. Oh, all right. Lauren is so upset with you right now. I gave it to you like 10 minutes ago. She just slammed down her hand. Yeah. You were like, that's a good one. She's like.

1:39:55She's like, hey, Baldy, do you remember something called a rubber dicky? All right. Come on in. Look at him. He's chewing on stuff. He always is chewing on stuff. I don't even know what we're calling. Where is Jay? Where is Jay? Jay, what are we doing? What kind of place are we calling? Calling a lumber yard. Lumber yard. All right. Now, I have to let people know. Calling a lumber yard somewhere. And they cannot hear me, but they can hear Woodsy. I will feed Woodsy these lines. He's got to incorporate them into the conversation at the lumberyard. Go ahead. Nervous, pal? Yeah. You got to hit the line. First, child, please. Child, please. Child, please. Child, please. Child, please. Yeah. You've never heard that? Child, please. May I help you? Hey, man, who am I speaking with? Hey, this is Steve Woods. Working on a big project over here, man. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions. Absolutely. What can I be out with? Dude, I'm building a deck in my backyard. I've heard that lumber is pretty expensive. How much would I need for like a, I don't know, it's going to be probably 60 feet long, maybe 20 feet wide. How much lumber am I going to need? A big backyard then. Child, please. I know. Tell me about it. Sasquatch. Well, it all depends on the wood.

1:41:52You know, there's a lot of variables involved in that. I'd have to get more specific. Sure. No, no. I can bring some. We have here. I mean. I can bring some specs in for you. I mean, really the most important thing is safety. I don't want some Sasquatch, you know, running through my backyard and trying to get in my house. Sure. Shaggy dog. Yeah. And, you know, we've got dogs. I've got little. Actually, I've got little dogs. I've got one big shaggy dog. So I'm going to have like a separate area for them where, you know, we're going to keep them kind of locked down if that's cool. Room stack. So we'll definitely want to think about having the wood treated, too, so it'll last a long time. Okay. Well, yeah, definitely treat the wood because, you know, I don't want it to be able to snap over my knee like a broomstick or anything like that. So I'm going to want really strong wood, you know, that's going to last. Well, you know, come on down. One of our knowledgeable staff will be more than glad to help you out. Dude, I love – here's the thing. I don't know a lot about –

1:42:47carpentry you know what i mean so but i'll tell you i love the natural wood i love the smell it's you know it's like an aphrodisiac to me man i absolutely love it um and it's something i really want to get into well you know that's not my department here per se but definitely hook you up with people over there so there's no problems with that and so we um after we kind of build the deck am i going to need to stain am i going to need to stain it that's that's your preference yeah You know, wood colors, depending on what you're looking for. Sure. You know, that's totally up to you. Whatever's in your head, we can make happen. Well, that's, you know, that's perfect, man, because I'd like to stain it, you know, and then use a blow dryer to kind of dry it off so that it, you know, doesn't collect the water. It's fine if the water beads off. I just don't want it to collect the water. That sounds perfect. You just got to come on down here and we can help you out. Well, I'm telling you, dude. This thing's going to be like Guantanamo back there, man. It's going to be like a giant wooden lockdown in the backyard, man. I'm going to keep my kids locked in there, my dogs locked in there, the whole thing. Nobody's getting in. It sounds like you have a very busy weekend ahead of you at building. Okay, good. Well, I'm going to hippity hop down there, dude, and I will ask for you personally. My name's Tyson. Tyson.

1:44:06Okay, good deal, man. Well, I'm going to get my kids out of the bath. He's playing with his rubber ducky. And as soon as I get him dried off and ready to go, man, we'll be on our way. Awesome. I'll be here all day. Thank you, Tyson. No problem. Have a great day. See you, brother. Nice. Nice. I think you hated mine the most. What was yours? Guantanamo. You had a look. You had a look like, oh. Yeah, it was a look like, oh, great. Child please was the heart. Child please. You know what child please is? Child please is, what are you kidding me? That's what it means. Child please. Yeah, child please. You did it perfectly. You were great. Thank you. That was fantastic. I want to do it like. Five hours in a row. I know. To see how long it can go. I just want to sit here and do it and do it and do it forever. That one, you were quick. Like every sentence, you were thrown in a word. My heart can't take it. I tried not. That was great. Thank you. Let's see. Our phone number here is 570-1949. You can also text us. 949-mikey-at-gmail.com. I don't get it, y'all. What's not to get hold? What don't you get about that?

1:45:29I don't understand why you're saying a bunch of random stuff. I don't even understand it. It's funny. Because that's part of the deal. What do you mean it's part of the deal? I don't understand the words, man. You're our station manager. You should understand how radio works, Hoyle. I do understand how radio works. The way radio works is, first of all, you should be playing more rock and roll. That wasn't a joke. Well, since we're a comedy talk show, it kind of is a joke. Well, let me tell you something. If you're going to be on the radio... You should know how to talk up rock and roll. All right? You know what I mean by that? Sure. I mean, I guess. Like, hey, here's the new one by the Gin Blossoms. Well, that don't sound professional. That sounded pretty good. Hey, here's the new one by the Gin Blossoms. Is that better? You barely even got your radio voice. Yeah, you got to get a radio voice. I thought I had a pretty good radio voice. What's a good example of a radio voice? Can I come up to the microphone? Come on. Yeah, yeah.

1:46:27Go for it. All right, I'm going to show you how it's done, all right? All right. First of all, you got to make sure that you got the right rock and roll record, all right? That ain't a joke. Oh, sorry. You got to make sure you got the right rock and roll record. Now, I've been talking to your program director, Dr. Evil. Garrett, yeah. He looks a lot like Dr. Evil. He doesn't. No, he doesn't. Yes, he does. He looks just like Dr. Evil. Yes, like identical twins. Like I said, separated at birth. Exactly. Yeah. I would agree with you. As in, I think at the end of the credits, it says Dr. Evil dot dot dot Garrett. Not that he acts like Dr. Evil. He just looks like him. No, actually, I've seen him holding his pinky up to the side of his mouth yesterday. He's a bald cat, too. That's right. Yeah. Hairless cat. I don't know where you got that. Can I show you how it's done? Yeah. All right. Now, the instrumental part. The instrumental part of a rock and roll record. It's called the break. It's called the ramp. The ramp. That's right. The ramp. See, I'm teaching y'all. Yeah. Teaching y'all right now. I'm going to write that down. The ramp. The break. No, it's the ramp. No, I said the ramp. The ramp. That's on the ramp. And then when a person starts to sing, Woods. That's called the break. No. Yeah, it's called the post. It's called the post. Yeah, it's called the post. That's right. Lauren's writing it down. I am. No. She wants to learn.

1:47:52And that's all right. Now, the secret is that there's got to be a perfect balance of your radio and your natural voice. I use more of my natural. All right? I shoot from the diaphragm, bring it up through the aqualung. The gin blossoms. You want to be comfortable. You know, you don't want to strain your voice. But Woods, natural too. I need to hear more natural in it. The gin blossoms. I don't think that's natural enough. Let me show you how to do it. It sounds like I'm doing what you're asking me to do. First of all, cool rock and roll. Give me some cool rock and roll. That's what I need first. Go ahead and hit it. That's right. BTO, all right? So we're going to do some Bachman Turner Overdrive. So I should say, like, hey, we're going to do some Foo Fighters as it's playing, right? Because, like, what you just did, you started it, and then you go, hey, we're going to do some Bachman Turner Overdrive. So that's what I need to do. I didn't even get to start talking before you were already jumping in there with all the business about how to do it. I'm going to try it again. Okay, show me exactly what you mean. Holy, y'all. That is not your natural voice. That's more my natural voice. Do you not hear a complete difference? Not a complete. It's almost identical to what I sound like right now. Your voice when you speak is a little bit higher than your radio voice. Yeah, you have an accent. Let's try it one more time, all right? Okay.

1:49:22FM 94.9 is a little Bachman Turner overdrive in his songs. That was hilarious. That was so funny, dude. Why'd you hit the bell? I thought that was a joke. That was not a joke. That was, man, that's, let's try again. FM 94.9, a little Bachman Turner. Finally, that ain't a joke. A little TCB right now. We're going to take care of business. Wow. You're listening to the greatest rock station in the world. This is Fem94.9. I hope you enjoy this one by Bachman Turner Overdrive. It's taking care of... Oh, no. I think you bricked on that one. I talked host, y'all. Sorry about that. I guess you're not as good as you say you are. Well, I've been out of practice, but I was telling Garrett yesterday, I said, first of all, when is Hillary going to start doing the Bachman-Turner hour? Hour?

1:50:31I don't know that that will ever happen. That's what Garrett said. Actually, he said, I don't know that that'll ever happen. He said it just like that. And when he did, he had his pinky up to the side of his mouth. I don't know that that'll ever happen, Michael. We need to get Garrett a mini-me. That is what he said. Just like that. Can I try? Go ahead. Welcome to 94.9. No, no, no, no. That was not good. Is that not good? No. You ain't getting the hang of it. Use your natural voice. Welcome to 94.9. No. You don't say welcome, first of all. Welcome to 94.9. He did. Why do you say welcome? Because you want to welcome everybody to the radio station. But I don't understand. You have a completely. You chat, Sienna. I don't know. Go ahead. Who sings this song first? B-T-O. Justin Timberlake. Okay. Go ahead. This is B-T-O. Welcome to 94.9.

1:51:36That's exactly what you said. What's wrong with that? It's my radio voice. Oil. That's exactly what you said. That ain't her radio voice. What's the difference? She's imitating you to a T. What's the difference? Because it ain't natural like this. BTR. You got to be natural about it, all right? Forget it. I'm done. That's it. Just like that, huh? Forget it. Sorry, Oil. Obviously upset, Hoyle. Yeah, obviously. He storms out of here so mad with his hands in his pockets and his head down at the floor. So upset. Hands in his dockers. That's right. You guys want to do a little Sienna Sings? Oh, please. Do a little Sienna Sings. It's the best. Yeah, how about this? Let's do it. Right, now we're doing it? We're doing it now? Why don't we? We need a break. Oh, we do. And guess who's here? And when we come back. What's happening? Sienna Sings. I don't know. When we come back, I'm going to sing, y'all. I'm going to sing. Who's here, Jay? Mama Testas is here. Oh, yes. I love Mama Testas. Me too. This is the, probably some of the filthy, and I don't mean filthy as in dirty. I just mean this guy is as gritty as it gets lyrically. You ever heard of a dude named Buddy Miller? No. I mean.

1:53:01Lyrically, it's as gnarly as it gets. I just said, if I ever make a documentary on like the weird life of truck drivers, because that's a documentary that's never been done. You're right. This is what I would use because I was listening to this song when I just come on and it's just the grittiest, grimy as you never heard of Buddy Miller, grittiest, grimiest lyrics ever. Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing isn't some sort of cult? On FM 94.9.

1:54:22This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. So tomorrow night at the House of Blues, go see Black Rebel Motorcycle Club with the wigs. Both fans have recommended new albums out this month. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and the wigs tomorrow night at the House of Blues. Bad Religion will do three nights, all ages, at the House of Blues starting next Friday, March 19th. You can see Devendra Banhart at the belly up on the 25th and Airplay 4th and B, March 27th. Also, a few shows just announced coming up in May. OK Go with the Shout Out Louds, May 22nd at House of Blues. And Ben Folds and a Piano, Tuesday, May 11th, also at House of Blues. So there you have it. Get out there and see some... Wait, sorry. Sorry, my phone's ringing. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. It's a nonstop sex parade. She's Out of My League. Rated R starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com.

1:55:33If you're in the market for a new car, here are some important things to consider. Ford is far and away America's strongest automaker, offering models built for San Diego. Ford Fusion was just named Motor Trend's 2010 Car of the Year. Fusion Hybrid delivers up to 41 miles per gallon in the city. That's even better than Camry Hybrid. Ford Escape is fast becoming San Diego's favorite SUV, with a hybrid model that gets 34 miles per gallon in the city. Ford Focus delivers up to 35 miles per gallon on the highway. And comes available with hands-free sync technology. A Ford exclusive. Today, nobody beats Ford quality. Not Honda, not Toyota. Nobody. Take a new Ford home now and get huge cash rebates. Plus, financing as low as zero APR. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com or visit your nearest San Diego County Ford dealer. Cash back varies by vehicle. Not all buyers will qualify for Ford credit limited term financing. Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 4510. Mileage based on EPA estimates. Your mileage may vary. Do you think blue?

1:56:33Well, you do if your business cares about clean beaches and waterways. FM 94.9 wants to hear what you and your business do to think blue. Are you careful about what goes into storm drains? Do your employees properly dispose of trash, leaves, debris, hazardous materials and more? Your business could be rewarded for your efforts to think blue. Tell us the creative and environmentally conscious ways your business is preventing storm drain pollution. Do you have pollution prevention programs at work? Does your business volunteer at community cleanups? If your business is chosen, you'll... win one week of paid advertisements promoting your business. Be creative and enter your Think Blue submission at FM949SD.com. That's FM949SD.com. Get a week's worth of free advertising just for doing the right thing. Think Blue, San Diego, and get rewarded by FM949 for doing so. Submit online today at FM949SD.com. Suffering from high interest rates on your credit cards, barely able to make just the minimum payment on your debts? We here at the Bankruptcy Law Center can help. Call 1-800-718-9688 or go to our website at GetOutOfDebtSanDiego.com. You can file for a bankruptcy and still keep your home and your cars. You can erase your second mortgage and stop the foreclosure process. Most people think bankruptcy destroys your credit, yet many people actually have better credit after they file. Call the Bankruptcy Law Center to set up a free consultation with a lawyer today at 1-800-718-

1:57:599688. Don't get scammed by those so-called debt consolidation and debt settlement companies. Debt settlement ruins your credit. Debt settlement can also leave you with a huge tax bill, and many people end up being garnished by their creditors. When you're dealing with real debt, you need real help from experienced lawyers. Call 1-800-718-9688. 1-800-718-9688. Or go to our website, getoutofdeutsandiego.com. This is a legalist responsible for this ad. Nothing in this ad should be... In the tradition of Fox Sunday's upstanding father figures.

1:58:33Sweet. Comes Ron Snufkin. Tend to be our dad? We'll give you 200 bucks. Deal. The best dad 200 bucks can buy. You picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, that little girl looked a lot like Robbie from behind. It's the series premiere of the live-action comedy Sons of Tucson. We're paying him to help us make a good impression. Okay, now who's got my pants? Fake dad. Real trouble. After a new family guide. Sons of Tucson. Part of an all-new Fox Sunday. It all starts Sunday at 8 p.m. on Fox 5 San Diego. BevMo presents the five-cent sale word, wow. As in, wow. Buy one bottle of wine and get the second for just five cents? Or, wow, look how many great wines there are to choose from. And, wow, I'm coming back for more. That's our favorite. BevMo's five-cent sale is on. Choose from more than 200 great wines, like Mezza Corona Pinot Grigio, Irony Pinot Noir, and Louis Martini Chardonnay. Club Bev members, buy one bottle, get the second for just five cents. WowMo and SaveMo at BevMo. Taylor Lava. Taylor Lava. Taylor Lava. Taylor Lava. Taylor Lava. Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. Are you seriously not wearing any underwear? What? She's Out of My League. Braided R starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com.

1:59:58For a great deal on a freshly made to order walked meal, check out the Dragon Deals value menu at Pickup Sticks. Six delicious meals, only $4.99 each. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln financial media station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. It's a nonstop sex parade. She's Out of My League. Rated R. Starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. Now you can. Get exceptional offers on new and certified pre-owned BMWs during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas. Lease a 2010 BMW 128i Coupe for only $279 a month plus tax. Or a 2010 528i sedan for only $489 a month plus tax. Or get up to $2,500 spring drive credit plus 0.9% APR financing on select models. And don't forget, you can save thousands on our huge select.

2:01:05Verizon is the best destination for great family value. And that's good to know. Because if you make any more cuts to your budget, your children are going to riot. You've cut back on movie night and banned junk food. Lay a hand on their wireless, and the hard truth is they'll be picketing the kitchen table in no time. Good thing Verizon has free phones for the whole family, including the compact LG Accolade or the sleek slide-out Samsung Intensity. Right now, get either phone free after a $50 mail-in rebate debit card. Plus, add lines to your family share plan for just $9.99 monthly access per line. Upgrade your family to America's largest and most reliable wireless network. Visit Verizon Wireless, verizonwireless.com, or call 1-800 to join in. After the first two lines for $69.99 monthly access on a nationwide talk family share plan. All phones require new two-year activation, early termination, and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com. This is an important alert from the lawn desk.

2:02:32Yes, it's tough to grow grass around here. But when the growing gets tough, the tough get growing. So repeat after me. I want to grow grass. I can grow grass. And by golly, I will grow grass. How? Scott's Turf Builder Grass Seed with WaterSmart. Turf Builder has Scott's WaterSmart coating that absorbs and releases water to keep the seed moist longer than uncoated seed. So it grows, even if you miss a day of watering. And Scott's Premium Tall Fescue Mix was specially developed to survive heat and drought and thrive season after season. See, nothing can stop you. A long, hot summer can't stop you. A dry spell can't stop you. Insects can't stop you. Only you can stop you. And you're sure not going to stop you, are you? You're going to get Scott's Turf Builder Grass Seed with WaterSmart and start planting the seeds of success. That concludes this Lawn Desk Alert. Scots, the official lawn care company of Major League Baseball. Cool. For over 80 years, USAA has served the financial needs of our soldiers, veterans, and their families. No matter where you are, you can handle your finances anytime with our secure online banking. From free ATMs nationwide to mortgages and cash bonuses when buying and selling your home through USAA's real estate program, USAA Bank provides a full financial suite of banking services.

2:03:49And if you qualify, you can even deposit a check using an iPhone or computer scanner. You've given a lot for your country. Making it convenient to manage your finances is the least we can do for you. If you have ever honorably served, let us serve you. USAA does not charge a fee for the first 10 ATM withdrawals and refunds up to $15 in other banks' ATM usage fees each month. Eligibility restrictions apply. Real estate program provided by USAA Relocation Services Incorporated and is not available in all states. iPhone is a trademark of Apple Incorporated. Bank products provided by USAA Federal Savings Bank and Equal Housing Lender. Member FDIC. This report is brought to you by the Port of San Diego. Sail away from San Diego with Carnival Cruise Line, Holland America, Celebrity or Royal Caribbean. For a list of departures, check out sandiegocruiseport.com. On the 15 northbound before Rancho Bernardo rode an accident over on that left shoulder. A car swerved to miss a barbecue grill.

2:04:46And a refrigerator, both in the middle of lanes. Now they're going the wrong way in the center divider. Julian Avenue at Petite Lane, an accident here. Car and a minivan collided. The eastbound lane of Julian is blocked. Looks like somebody ran red light. This report also brought to you by Toyota Motor Sales USA. Your Toyota dealer is committed to your satisfaction. They've extended their hours, added associates to take care of your service needs, answer your questions, and address your concerns. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. You can give us a call if you want to. Our phone number here is 570-1949. In a little bit, we're going to be doing Sienna Sings. And I'm sorry ahead of time. Let me tell you, Sienna, I love Sienna Sings so much. The idea of Sienna Sings is that Sienna's 24. There's a lot of music she's not familiar with. That everyone else in the world seems to know. That's right. Well, Sienna grew up listening to pop music. And so...

2:05:53When it comes to stuff like 80s hair metal and even some classic rock stuff, certain classic rock stuff, she's like, never heard of it. Love it. And so what we do is we do a little karaoke with her. We give her a list of the songs, lyrics, and she just has to try to dry run through them. Nerve wracking. You play the instrumental. Yeah. Oh, man. And with the lyrics in your hands, you just got to try to figure out the melody on your own, which is just tremendous. Yes. It is tremendous. A big round of applause for the best Mexican food in San Diego. Mama Testes. That's right. Cesar is in here right now. And Cesar, what did you bring today? Today we brought you a little bit of chicken mole. Yeah. Homey carnitas out there. Nice. Shredded beef tacos. And just from my boat, we'll see over here. So flautas. No. No. We left the flautas at the restaurant. We brought rolled tacos, though. Oh, just for you. Yeah. I thought you had flautas out there. We're fresh out of the flautas. I forgot to tell you that. You left those in Dallas? Exactly. Right there next to the Alamo. Remember that one, okay? That's right. I'm going to keep telling you that as long as you stop talking about flautas. They are so good. Those rolled tacos. That's right. Say that one more time. Those rolled tacos. Thank you. Hold on. Rolled tacos. There you go. And they are, I've had six in the last minute and a half. Yeah. They're really good, man. So good. They're really good.

2:07:21You know, we mentioned this the first time that Cesar came in here. Mama Test has won against Bobby Flay in a throwdown, which is so great, man. Thank you. It's so cool. And where are you guys located? Tell everybody where you're located. 1417 University Avenue, right at the corner of Richmond University in Hillcrest. Oh, it's such good food, man. Thank you. And it is made with... Really fresh ingredients. And the other thing too is that all the meat is all natural. It's really good. Free range meats, of course, for everybody that's health conscious. Everything is hormone free and antibiotics free. I know one of the listeners here was just asking about gluten. There's only two things on the menu that are gluten. Everything else is gluten free. We care about everybody's dietary needs. So if anybody has any questions, please let us know and we can definitely accommodate. That is so cool, man. We only use zero trans fat oils. We try to be as health conscious as possible. Not because so much of the health concern, but because that's what Mexicans do it. Yeah. So we're going to try to keep it as authentic as possible. Those sauces that you use are so good. Thank you. We make everything fresh also. From the salsas, we start from scratch. We don't use anything coming out of a can. So everything you're going to taste there, we've been already since 6 o'clock this morning.

2:08:34making salsa just to bring it out here to you guys. Thank you for doing this, man. Thank you for having us again. We really do appreciate it. It's such good food. It's such good food. Let's see. Sienna has 10 things that your mechanic won't tell you. What do you got? Well, you know how some mechanics, there's different garages that you may go to that specialize in different things. Right. Well, you may bring your car in if you don't know that much about your car. What? Two in Woods and Mikey. Right. Sorry for the call out, guys. Absolutely. And me. But if you bring your car to the wrong garage, the wrong specialist, a lot of times they won't tell you and they'll just say they can fix it. Wow. Yeah. That surprised me. What else you got on there? Fancy certificates. Like they may have some certificates on the wall that look like it's legit. Love those. Not legit. Really? A lot of them aren't. Yeah, they say that you should look for repair shops that are endorsed by AAA. Really? Mm-hmm. Hmm. I had no idea that there was fake. What do they go on the internet and buy fake certificates? That's exactly what they do. I'm sure, yeah, you can get some kind, you pass some kind of course, but it's not like a real legit. Like M1 animator.

2:09:41Goes and makes them a certificate. Yeah. They hang in their office. I can print you one out right now. Yeah. Exactly. It's a participation certificate. We've all had this done. Unnecessary repairs. They know if you don't know what you're talking about when you bring your car in. So they're going to say, well, you needed the rotors as well as the brake pads. Sure do. And it's like, dude, all I needed was some brake pads. But then you walk out spending a grand. Every time. Sometimes all the ladies need is a male companion and all of a sudden you have half the problems. Oh, yeah. So what do I need? Yeah, exactly. A male companion. Yeah, male companion. You should bring Frankie in there. No. I used to work on engines, dude. I'm telling you, if you take me in there with you, I can help you out. You're going to get ripped off every time. That I may take you up on, my brother. Thank you, Woodsy. Finally. Finally, you're giving me a chance. There you go. I'll tell you what. Meet me there, though. I'll pick you up. No, just meet. Well, how are we going to get my car there? I'll pull you. You're not going to tow me. I'll just meet you. I'm going to tow your car, dude. All right? No, it's cool. With your bare hands? Yeah. Just meet me there. Thanks for bringing my yarn couch over yesterday, too. I appreciate it. Yeah, dude, I lifted up a 450-pound yarn couch that that intern made for you. Yeah. Thank you. Susanna. I fell through it last night, by the way. You fell through the couch? It's made out of yarn, so. You okay? I'm all right.

2:11:01You probably need an adjustment, dude. I can almost guarantee you, you probably threw out C3. That's your third lumbar. Are you a good backcracker, Frankie? Not only am I a good backcracker, I give one heck of a massage. I believe that. You're a jack of all trades. I'll come over there. I'll come over. I'll give you an adjustment, dude. That's all it is. You're freaking out on me. I took some Advil. I'm good. You're freaking out over here. You feel good? We should have a tickle fight. No tickle fight. What? Yeah. Done. Done. We'll do it right now. We'll have a tickle fight. Tickle fight. Tickle fight. Tickle fight. What do you think? Tickle fight. No. I'm out. No. Why not? You said you felt great. I don't like to be tickled. I know what the deal is. It ain't sanctioned. We'll sanction it and we'll get it done. Maybe if it's sanctioned, then we can do it. Tickle bout. Good luck getting that sanctioned. And then a butterfly contest. Thank you. So creepy. What else? You may be charged for work that has not been done because how are you going to know? That's true. Stuff like that. So whenever, I mean, if you're spending a lot of money for something that you know is going to cost a lot of money going in there, always get a second opinion. It's going to cost a little more to do it, but it's going to be worth leaving with a problem and then you didn't know about. Always check the warranties too. I mean, know your warranties before you go in there as well.

2:12:22Rebuilt parts can be just as good as the brand new ones and a lot less money. They recommend the brand new ones. Weirds me out. Mike, have you ever gotten a second opinion on your car? No. Never. You know what that means? Time. I've got to go to two places. Yeah, I've got to go to two places. Burn more time. I'm going to get hosed at both places. It's kind of like getting a second opinion from a doctor. You know what that means? Two doctor appointments. Right. Forget it. It's a good idea, but it's like, okay, great. Thank you, doctor. I'm now going to call another doctor when I get to my Bluetooth in the car. I'll call another doctor, make an appointment there. A week later, go see him. I want to make a third appointment, too. Get a third opinion. No, I think this next one is true for a lot of cases, but I can see it not being true for some, too. What's that? Which is when you bring your car in and the mechanic says, yeah, we're going to need to get these special nuts and bolts shipped in from somewhere else. We don't carry those here. And then, you know, it costs a lot more to have them sent in from somewhere else. It's going to take a couple days. Oh, I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Something amazing to do with it. And then the last one is you have a lot more power than you think. So if you think something is wrong with your car and it should have been fixed when you brought it in, file a complaint with your state's Better Business Bureau and they'll be sure to fix it free of charge. Hey, Sienna, what's the deal with the Wizard of Oz?

2:13:42They're saying might be the next big movie franchise. Yes, the Wizard of Oz. Like, I'm talking, you know, Harry Potter has the movie franchises. Lord of the Rings. There may be a Wizard of Oz, and I am in. We got one person clapping in the studio. Me too. You too? You too? Woods, everybody loves Wizard of Oz, bro. Not everybody, pal. Oh, come on. You don't like the Wizard of Oz? Hey. Why don't you snap out of fantasy land, dude, and come back to reality, nerd. Bro, it's the Wizard of Oz, man. Everybody loves that. In your childhood, you didn't dig Wizard of Oz? Scared the crap out of me when I was a little kid. The flying monkeys? Yeah, dude. Scary. Was it scary? The witch? Scary. That's what it was for me. Well, Woods was genuinely just frightened right now. Seriously. He just thought she ran into the room. I'm so tired of the fantasy movies. My wife says that the monkeys was the scariest part of The Wizard of Oz, and I agree with you. I agree with you, Woods. Yeah. Is that witch flying by in the window? Dude. I'll get you, my pretty. Yes. Terrifying. Terrifying. How cute is Toto? Now that is the best part of the movie. Warner Brothers has had two separate projects in development over the past year.

2:14:53Centered around the Wizard of Oz. Hey, does anybody ever come up with anything original anymore? We just saw the preview for the new Karate Kid. I'm like, come on, dude. Yeah, if it was already a hit, half the job is done. Half the job is done. That's why they do it. Remake it, different actors. Come up with an original thought. Let's do this. Yes. 570-1949. We're going to do Sienna Sings. You just got to guess. Amazing. Buckle up, folks. Nicely done, Shay. I can't see. Is that Andrew Lloyd Webber over there writing that song, Shay? Good Lord. How good is that? So it's time for Sienna Stings. Okay, so here's what you do. You call us right now. Amazing. And you're either going to be guessing that she gets it right or gets it wrong. Now, these are very, very common songs. I'm 24 years old. Let me just remind people. To us, they're common. That's right. So to many people, they're common. I did this a couple days ago. Even my mom said she knew the song. Yeah. I was like, Mom, you even knew?

2:16:11Yeah, that's pretty embarrassing. But here's the thing. I can't tell you how much I love it when you hear somebody trying to figure out a melody they've never heard in their life. She's got the lyrics in front of her because they're going across the screen. We have on YouTube. It's the karaoke versions because people may be like, well, how does she know when to say the words? Because, you know, when you do karaoke, it comes on. They highlight each word as it's supposed to go. So I'm trying to do that. See, and that's half the fun, is just hearing her work it out as the little line goes across the words. That's not half the fun. That's all the fun. I may know it. All right, so are we taking bets? Yeah. Okay, so how do you want to do it? We're going to line people up right now on the phone, 570-1949. Can we tell them the song? Yeah, it doesn't matter. I mean, I guess we could tell the song because... She's either going to know it or she's not. She either knows it or she doesn't. And don't say if you know it yet. Well, a lot of the times, too, is I have no idea, even if I know the song by the title, because I have to hear it. Yeah. Woodsy. Yes, sir. What's the first one we're going to do over here? First one's a, it's a Wings song that was covered by G&R, Guns N' Roses. It's called Live and Let Die. I didn't know that was a Wings song. Yeah. Originally Wings. Hey, Mikey, quick question. Oh, wait. Yes, I did.

2:17:31Yes. We're only taking two callers, right? One says that she'll get them right, and the other one says that she'll get them wrong, or are we going to do multiple winners? We can do multiple winners. We just have to have right and wrong for each one. Okay. So, first up, M1 Rooster. Are you there, Rooster? Yeah, I'm here. What are you going to take? She gets it or doesn't? Does not. Does not? Hang on the line. Rooster! And then, M1 Dos Equis, you got She Gets It Right. All right, hang on the line. I'm like Rocky over here. I know it. I know it. So, Woodsy? Yes, sir. Can you get her song started for her? You know I can. All right. Here we go. It's Live and Let Die. This is the GNR version. And she's going to see the words. When you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say, oh, you used to say, live and let live. But if, but if this ever-changing world in which we live in, this is the worst song I've ever heard.

2:18:32and cry. Say live. Say live and let die. Live and let die. Die. You like that? We have a 23 measure break. That is fantastic. So, Sienna, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you probably did not know that one or did you know that one? Never heard in my life, Mike. Never heard in my life. Fantastic. So that means M1 Rooster, you won. Good. Hang on the line. He's still recovering from my singing on that one. Good. I actually didn't hear it because I put the phone away and turned my radio all the way down. You guys.

2:19:25My voice isn't that bad. You try singing to a song that you don't know. Your voice is great. You're a good singer. It's just great to hear you singing songs that you're not familiar with whatsoever. No idea. You want to bring the next one up, Woodsy? Sure. Let's see. Let's get M1 Woodship. Are you there? Yep. Do you believe that she will get the next one right or wrong? I'm hoping she gets it right. Thank you. Did we say what it was? Do we know what it is? Go ahead. Read it. I don't know what it is. It's the second tab. Is it the second tab? Okay. I got it, pal. You got it? Throw a pal out there. That's it, right? Yes. Are you ready, Sienna? Oh, hold on. Okay. Got it over there, Ace? Yeah. Okay. We ready? Oh, I hate this game! Crazy Train, Ozzy Osbourne. Oh. You ready, Sienna? I don't know. Musical break, 16 measures. You're okay. We're okay. We've got time. I want to hear it anyway. I want to hear it anyway. I want to hear it anyway. I don't know what word is coming up next. I don't know about that. Okay. So how's everybody doing? I know this is a long... Okay. Mama Testa's been good. She's dancing. Crazy. But that's how it goes. Yeah, baby. It's a people.

2:21:09Living as four. Wow. Maybe it's not too late to learn how to live and forget how to hate. Yes. I love it. I think I saw the horns when we started. The metal horns. That is fantastic. I was getting into that one. M1 Woodchip. Dude, she got it. She nailed it. She knew it. And you're a winner. Hang on the line, all right? Hang on the line. All right. 570-1949. We're going to do one more. They're all down on the bottom. Is that right, pal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look. Look, look, look. Right here. You show me. Right down here. Maybe next time I handle it. That's what she said. Oh, yeah. Fair enough. Oh, it was all queued up and everything. Yep. So you don't have to hit it yet. You don't have to hit it yet. That's, that's, that's. Go ahead.

2:22:12Don't have to hit it yet. 570-1949. You're going to be guessing whether or not Sienna will know Talk Dirty to Me by Poison. That's going to be the next song. I'm trying not to read her face. Like when we say it, I try not to read her face. 570-1949. You are either going to be guessing whether she's going to get it right or wrong. M1G, do you think that she will get it right or wrong? M1G, are you there? M1G going once? Yes, there you are. M1G, is she going to get it right or wrong? You know what? That's a tough one. I'm going to go wrong. You're going to go wrong. Hang on. Hang on the line. And let's see. Mikey Show, who's this? Okay, dude. You're going to get that she gets it right. Hang on the line. Okay, we can now begin the song. Words are going to go across the screen. We'll see if she knows it. No, I never. I never seen you. You look so good. I should. But. But I like it. Wow. No. You like it, too. Oh, my God. I got a view. Ever do. I never, never, ever. Stay out late. You know that. I can hide. Oh, my God. That's fantastic.

2:23:56Fantastic. M1G, you were right. She got it wrong. Was I close? Oh, not even in the neighborhood. Not even in the zip code. How does it go, really? I want to hear it. You know, I never. I've never seen it look so good. You mean it doesn't go good? Never act the way you should. I like it. Oh, that's fantastic. I'm glad I at least knew one. M1G. Oh, my face hurts. You are a winner, buddy. You are a winner. So hang on the line, all right? They all got hooked up with bad religion tickets. Nice. So fantastic. Big prize. Oh, that was the best. I'm sorry to everyone. Are you kidding? Brilliant. We owe you a thank you. And you're welcome. And you're welcome. Hey, dudes, when we come back, you want to impress your first date before you even go on it? I'll tell you how. There goes my love. Also, Jessica Simpson tends to make things worse for herself when she speaks the English language. She said something that surprised a lot of people, and it's pretty gnarly. It's actually really gnarly. And we'll tell you all about it. We'll actually play her saying it next. Some of us come from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and the Department of Defense. Some of us have families who do.

2:25:51As we serve our country, we also buy cars, finance homes, educate our children, and plan for retirement. During it all, Navy Federal is there. For over 75 years, they've been there. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. Navyfederal.org, Equal Housing Lender. Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. Are you seriously not wearing any underwear? What? She's Out of My League. Rated R starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. Good gas for less cash, Arco. Straight Up Gas. This report is brought to you by Arco Arco, home of the Straight Up Gas Institute, where a unique formula is good gas for less cash, Arco.

2:26:51Straight up gas. Fifteen northbound Rancho Bernardo rode an accident. Two cars in that gore point of the exit. No injuries, though, believe it or not. Five southbound before Via de la Valle. An accident on the right shoulder. Two-car accident. Looks like you're going to have a small backup in this area. They did clear this incident in Lakeside Julian Avenue at La Petite Lane. The road is cleared. That was a car in a minivan. Should be able to get through without a problem. This report brought to you by the California Department of Public Health. Anybody can get H1N1. Pregnant women, kids especially at risk. Protect yourself today. It's not too late to vaccinate. For a vaccination location near you, visit cdph.ca.gov. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. Lauren. I just don't like the way beef tastes at all. Sienna. I made reservations for us last night. And Jay. I'm so tired. On FM 94.9. Yeah, I know this song. Almost famous, Mike. It's one of the greatest songs. Ever. Might be one of my favorite movie scenes ever. Almost Famous? Yeah. You know it was filmed in San Diego. I did not know that. That is correct. I'm going to break some hearts right now. You've never seen Almost Famous. You don't like Elton John. Oh, I love Elton John. I've seen portions of Almost Famous. You've never been to San Diego. Never been to San Diego. That is heartbreaking. You may already know this. That you're a mini Elton John.

2:28:24That is incorrect. Elton John. He didn't write any of this music. Of course not. It's Bernie Talpin. Bernie Talpin. I didn't know that. He sang it all. He sang it all, but he had a dude that wrote all the music. Luckiest dude in the world. Yeah. Yeah. Look, both of them are lucky. Yeah. Bernie Talpin, who sings like this, tiny dancer in my head, found a guy that can sing like this. And Elton John found a guy that could write music. Good duo. Yeah, it's a good duo. Love it. It's good stuff. Love it. Favorite part. Hold on. It's my favorite. Love it. Handing tickets. Out for gold. Ham for gold. Ham for gold. Ham for gold. It says Ham for gold? Yeah. Ham for gold. Okay, let's see. What do we got? Oh, the Jessica Simpson thing, right? Mm-hmm. So, Jessica Simpson. is doing an interview and sometimes says more than she should say. Weird. It's weird. Mm-hmm. And it happens. And this is a very good example of it. Bet you didn't know this about her personal hygiene. Oh, gosh. I don't want to know. Are you already freaked out? Yeah. Take a listen. I don't brush my teeth. No, stop. Are you kidding me? No, really.

2:29:51She kept going. Oh, yeah, she explains. Easy butter teeth. I just use Listerine. Okay. And sometimes I'll use my sweater. Oh, my gosh. I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are extremely powerful. I mean, find me when I'm 60 and I'll probably be all out. But I still, like, put on my face creams. They're next to my bed. Ugh, easy chompers. Wow. Think about every guy that's ever Frenched her. Come back with butter on their tongue. He just almost threw up. Well, first of all, that word skeeves me out. That's why I love to use it. I can't wait to French my wife next week. She'll be here Thursday. Just a big French. Don't say that word. Stop. That wasn't me, actually. Every time you say it, I want to bleach my ears. French me.

2:30:53I bet Frankie would like to describe somebody. Even Frankie ran out of the room to get sick. Well, brushing your teeth is important, Jessica. That's so disgusting. Why would anyone admit that, even if it is true? Do you think she flosses? No. Oh, yes. I definitely think she doesn't brush, but does floss. I bet she water picks, too, Mike. She said she uses her sweater. I've done that, but... In a pinch. Yeah. I feel like I need to brush my teeth now. I know, me too. Well, this is what's interesting, too, is I think to myself, okay, so you have Listerine. You know, like you carry it. You buy it. You have Listerine, which I'm guessing you use at the time that you would normally be brushing. Right. She's lazy. Is that the deal? Yeah. I don't. It's so odd. I have, I do the toothbrush and I've got, do you guys have the tongue scraper? Yeah. Tongue scraper's great. That's on my toothbrush. I do it on my, with my toothbrush. Yeah, me too. They actually. What was that motion that you just did? They actually. Wow. What a little Dirk McGirt. Woods just put his hand in and out of his mouth a few times. Hey, Dirk McGirt. Gosh.

2:32:15That's usually something that comes out of my mouth. That's a cute little demure little blonde girl. What's that motion you just made with your hand? Can you do that again? Dirt my skirt. Dirt my girt over here. My goodness. Sorry, I had to. New movies in theaters today. What do we got? Well, we have the big one with Robert Pattinson. Is he? He was a... Don't even pretend this. Blah, blah. He was a guy from the Dracula movie. Yeah. Dracula. He's a vampire. My skin turns translucent while I look for the beautiful girls. One, two, three. Remember me is in the theater.

2:33:05Cat Jocula? Sounds just like Edward. I'm Team Edward, by the way. Yes, you are on Team Edward. I didn't know you did any other movies, but Twilight movies. Well, I haven't. I've only been in Twilight up until this new one called Remember Me. Here's a clip of him. What desserts do you have? Well... Blood? Blood? Yeah, blood, blood, blood. I'll have that and a glass of skim milk. And then... The lamb vindaloo. I have my dessert first. Oh. Is that a political statement? Is that a political statement? You know, here in Romania... Stop. What if I die eating my vindaloo? You will die because I drink your brew. The only thing I wanted most. You know, my...

2:34:05Driver's license says Vlad the Impaler. Because I like to drink the blood. Yes, I was in a teenage movie called Twilight. He doesn't talk like that. Of course, he's Dracula. He's a vampire in Twilight. I am from the Order of the Draculs. I love your movies, Robert. Thank you. How old are you? Seven years old? You cute little seven-year-old girl. I'm 29, actually. I'm 47. I love Twilight and everything about it. They do. Every woman loves Twilight. I think... I will meet a vampire one day that will sweep me off my feet and take me to Washington. You definitely will. You definitely will. I will take you to Tacoma. Will you run up a tree with me? Yes, I will. I will chase away wolves in Tacoma. Can we play baseball? Yes, we can. You must have seen the movie, my friend. You know it takes place in Washington. I've seen it. I have a wife. I'll take you to the Portland Rose Festival.

2:35:18Because that's what vampires do. Did you see my shirt? Yes. It says Team Edward. It says Team Edward in sequence. It's bedazzled. That's right. Sparkly like your skin. Yeah. I just got Mikey's wife one. His what? His wife. His wife. His wife? Yes, his wife. Double juice. I-F-E. So that's weird then. That's very weird. Very weird. Do you know how many of the Twilight books she has? All four? One. Two. Three. Three of the books. You know the girl from Lost who plays Claire? Do any of you guys watch Lost? Nope. Nope. You used to. They lost me. Crickets, crickets. Yeah, this season's not very good. But she's the cute blonde girl who had the baby on the island. And she is the lucky lady who gets to star alongside Robert Pattinson. Also, Pierce Brosnan's in the movie. Surprise, surprise. What else is out there? Also out Green Zone with Matt Damon. It's Lauren's documentary that she did. That's right. Yep.

2:36:37Right? Green zone. Yes, it's all about wheatgrass and bee pollen. Barley. Matt Damon. Yeah, that's right. Matt Damon is in it. I love Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Here's a scene from the movie where he is asking questions during a briefing. I had a couple questions about the intel for tomorrow. Are we sure this is accurate? It's solid. It's good to go. What's the source? Well, it's a human source intel. But it's solid. It's current. As of 0400. Was it the same source we've been using? Every site we've hit on the way up here, we rolled a donut. Chief, how about we... What is this movie about? It sounds riveting. It's about war. It is? A mission to find Iraq's reported stockpiles of weapons and mass destruction. It sounded similar to the dialogue of Alice in Wonderland. Oh, yes. But without the... But without the accent, Michael. Yes, without all this. Have you been to the Green Zone? Oh, I have been to the Green Zone. You know what I found there? Did you roll a donut through the Green Zone? Yes, I did. But do you know what else I found? What did you find? I found an over-living. I saw the Jabberwocky in the Green Zone. A Jabberwocky? I slayed him with the sword of Tamaltua. One moment. M1 Candidators stood up. Come over to the microphone, won't you? Yes, you understood.

2:38:02Good Alice in Wonderland, didn't you? Because I don't really know why you have a problem with the accent. I had a problem understanding it. It was because it was barely in English. Can I ask you a question, M1 Canada? Yes, you may. Why did Johnny Depp use 19 different accents in the film? I know you said that yesterday, but I didn't really hear 19 different accents. Well, you went from broke to using an English accent, you being from Scotland, and then finally from being from New Jersey. And with a lift. He spoke with a list as well. Every once in a while, randomly, he would have thought to speak with a list. He spoke with a list. Oh, look, he speaks Mike Tyson. Why all of a sudden he's Mike Tyson? Why did he start doing that? I don't know. Well, he was the Mad Hatter. Yeah. He was supposed to be a little bit crazy. He was crazy. Oh, it worked. And Johnny Depp isn't from England. He doesn't have a British accent, so it has to be put on. And, of course, it's not going to be real. No, it's weird. He's from Cincinnati. He's just been living in France for the last 20 years. Lauren? Oh. I think Susanna wanted to get on the mic. Oh, is Susanna coming in? Yeah, bring Susanna in. Susanna's one of our interns here. She works for the accounting department. Hi, Susanna. Hey, Maggie. How you doing? I just had a question for Woods. Yeah, go ahead. What's the matter with a lisp? No, nothing. You don't have a lisp. You have a retainer. Yeah, it's a fantastic lisp. You said he had some sort of problem with a lisp. What's the matter with a lisp? I don't have any problem with lisp at all. It wasn't a lisp. No, Johnny Depp spoke with a lisp. Yeah.

2:39:27But she doesn't speak with a lisp. Yeah, you don't speak with a lisp, Susanna. My heart was like seriously breaking back there. Like when you heard that. Take your retainer out. Take your retainer out for a second. I was saying my heart was like seriously breaking back there. First, you're making fun of my yarn couch. Well, I fell through it last night, but sorry. Oh, my gosh. Susanna made a couch. She made a couch. She heard that you didn't have any furniture, so she knitted you a couch. I knitted him a couch. I whittled him a table. She did. And this is the thanks I get. How many tons of yarn did it take to be able to build that? I don't know. I don't work in tons, Mikey. Yeah, you don't. Now this is just a big roast. Yeah. I feel like woods. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, exactly. Put your retainer back in. I'm sorry about that. Sorry. We're sorry that you did. I'm getting roasted here. Yeah, it's like. This is ridiculous. Santa's what? She said she's getting roasted. It's getting ridiculous. Getting ridiculous. Sorry about that. This is ridiculous. She said it's getting ridiculous again. It's getting ridiculous again. She said the same thing. Suzanne, I'm sorry about that. It's okay. It's okay. Back to the movies. Yeah, we'll go back to the... See you, guys. All right. Thanks a lot. Don't worry. Bye, honey. She said back to the cookies. Yeah, back to the movies. Back to the movies. Got it. So also out today, our family wedding with Forrest Whitaker and America Ferrara. And also Carlos Mencia is in the movie. It's America Ferrara. She's the one from Ugly... Betty. Ugly Betty. Which is...

2:40:51I don't think it's on TV anymore. It's almost going to be done. Yeah. And the last movie out today is She's Out of My League with no one that sounds familiar. It should be my biography. Michael, as far as a bio... Yeah. Am I too early? Yeah. Am I too early? That's cool. A little Roadhouse Blues never hurt anybody. 100%. I'll have to do it then. Here, let me see. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is good. I have some dating tips for you. How to impress... a girl before you even go on the first date. Are you ready for this? Sienna, you hand these out for us. It goes both ways too. Girls, you can impress guys by doing this stuff too. Watch your tone. When you're on the phone, just kind of getting to know each other maybe before your first date, use a cheerful voice. Even if someone says something annoying and you've had a bad day. It's funny because everybody looked over at Lauren right at the same time. Cheerful for that.

2:41:47That's right. So don't tell them to get. Give intentional responses. If someone asks you, how are you? Don't just be like, good. You know, because that's like, okay. I'm doing sprightly today. Thank you for asking. How are you? This is the example that they gave. I'm great. I just returned from an exhilarating run in Central Park with my best friend from college. That's when I go, I got a bad connection. I can't hear you. I'm going to fix my phone. I'll call you in four years. The reason they said that is because if you say, just got back from a run, then you're fitness oriented, and then you went with a friend, you at least have friends. Just got back from the gym. That's my bet. Just got back from the gym. Sure you did. I was just lifting some weights. Turn the tables. Ask them, you know, so do you ride? Really? Yes. I'd be like, no, I feel really bad about myself right now. Yeah, what if you're really hoping that they don't? Yeah. Because you don't. Yeah. This is a big one, though. Don't grill. Not like on the barbecue, but being like, so 20 questions. I grill. I'm a griller. Yeah, I'm a griller. It says don't ask more than one question per minute. Don't be the riddler. You have a lot of rules. Come on. I grill and I like to be grilled. I like, you know, I do.

2:43:01I do. I will grill people and I like to be grilled. You know, I think that that's a good policy. Is it wrong? Why? What's so wrong? How old are you? How many kids do you have? Here, I'm going to show you how you do this. Hello. Hi, Cynthia. How are you doing? I'm well. Sorry to call you Cynthia, especially when your name is Tammy. But Tammy. That's my middle name. Yeah, it's okay. Tammy. I thought that it would be fun if we got to know each other a little bit before we went out tonight. Absolutely. First question. Why do you talk like you're from Alice in Wonderland? I'm from England. You are from England? I'm from England. Oh, see, that answers the question. So, how many siblings do you have? Four. I have four. You have four siblings? Yes. You're not being responsive, Cynthia. Marky, Ricky, Danny, and Terry. Marky, Ricky, Danny. And Terry. And Terry. Is that right? Objection. Badgering the witness. Yes. I think it's a good idea. Be fun. Yeah? What does that mean? Don't be lame. Don't be a total jerk. As you're juggling. On my unicycle. Oh, yeah. Is that fun? On your unicycle with rollerblades on. Is that fun? Hello, my baby. No, but like.

2:44:25If they suggest doing something, don't be like, ugh, I don't like that. Yeah, when they suggest doing something, break out marionettes and all of a sudden start doing a marionette show for them. She's like, you're not fun enough. My other boyfriend used to do marionettes for me. What does that mean? Be fun. Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Hello, my ragtime gal. Yeah, he's balancing back and forth on his unicycle while doing it. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Be fun. As opposed to what? Being really drab. Some people are if they had a bad day. Listen, if you're a drab guy, you can't be unicycle hello, my baby guy. If you're drab guy, you're never going to be unicycle. Yes, you can. No, you can't. I can do it. If I'm in the worst mood ever. But you're not drab. You're not drab. You're not. Some people, that's their personality. That's their drab. Hello, my baby. Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Hello, my darling. Baby, my heart's on fire. What, are you signing a poem? No. Give positive feedback.

2:45:34You know? Hey, I just want to let you know, that was really wonderful the way you asked me the way I was doing. No, but, like, I had a rough day at work, but your call just cheered me up. Your voice is extremely pleasant, Mikey. Just like that. Be like the TomTom girl. Yeah, like the TomTom. If I'm dating the TomTom girl. Hi, TomTom girl. Hey, listen, I just want to let you know it's been a rough, rough day, but I just got home and made myself a nice dinner. Like, I made actually that chicken that I made you the other night. Sounds quite delicious, Mikey. Did you like that chicken that I made you? It was enjoyable, yes. Thank you. That's really positive feedback. Hello, my baby. What did you just say, Tom Tom Girl? I said, hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Hello, my ragtime guy. I don't understand. I don't understand. Why?

2:46:28Why are you a ragtime guy? I didn't want to insult you by calling you a gal, Mikey. I know, TomTomGirl, but I just thought it was strange. Did you know, TomTomGirl, that you were just reciting Al Jolson to me? Did you know that? I'm just reciting my boy words, Mikey. Oh, I see. So did he tell you to do Al Jolson to me? He sings it on repeat in his car, Mikey. I just outed you. Again. Whoa, whoa, what? This is news to me. You're coming out, dude? No. It's a deal. I'm married, man. Fine, dude. I'm just asking. I'm not saying anything. What else, you know? You know when the party's over on the phone conversation? Like, when the energy level starts to drop, it's time to get off the phone, you know? Like, there's those people that are like, wait, one more thing. So, what'd you do today? That's me. And it's like, ugh. You ever dated the girl? that would call and had nothing to talk about. I married her. Wow. Jamie, I just slapped him for you. Jamie is going to slay you. Are you kidding me? Did you just say, I married her? No, girls call when they want to talk to you. Come on, she doesn't just call you and not have anything to say. We both do. So, I'm telling you, Skype.

2:47:51has saved my marriage. Yeah. Being so far apart, we would call each other and be like, hey, how you doing? Good. Cool. Me too. Nothing. Just driving home from work. Yeah. She'd go, yeah. And I go, yeah. All right. I'll call you later. I swear. Really? It was like, and then we discovered Skype, and it was like, hey. And now it's like, hey, hold on your shirt a little bit. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Let those breathe a little bit. Let them breathe. Daddy likes. Tommy like you. Let them breathe. Let me see my babies. Let those little guys breathe for a minute. Hi, Penny Bell. Yeah. Hi, Sugar. Yeah, the whole time he was talking to his Yorkies. He has four of them. I do. Daddy's here. Daddy's here. You want to come see Daddy? You want to come see Daddy? If they're listening right now, they're going nuts. They do. And they do and they do. That's fantastic. Sure. Your baby talk with the dogs must be the most sickening thing. It's ungodly, dude. It's hilarious. I want to hear it. You guys have me cracking up all the time. Thank you.

2:48:58Thank you very much. Just a couple more. Keep the phone calls quick. You haven't even met on a first date. Chill out. Landline is usually better than a cell phone. Wait, what? Me and you. What? Chilling out is not a vocabulary. Not at all. We're the overkillers. Yeah, absolutely. Do it all on the first date. Then you're not going to have any questions. But you just said that was wrong, not to ask the questions on the first date. You said not to do that. No, this is all on the phone. Oh, on the phone. On the phone. Yeah. If you have a landline, which most of us don't even have anymore. What's that? Jay does, I'm sure. Yeah, he does. Anyone with kids usually has a landline. But landlines are better because if you're on a cell phone, sometimes the connection, there's nothing worse. Nothing worse. Talking to somebody, you're like getting to know. You just met him. Sorry, what did you say? You're like, come on. I didn't really hear that. Yeah, you're like, hey, by the way, has ever happened to you? You're breaking up. You're breaking up. And the guy, the guy's like this. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. I got to get a signal. I got to get a signal. Oren, can you hear me? You're breaking up. You've been breaking up for the past 30 seconds. You hear me now?

2:50:06Did you say you want to lick my ear? You mean now? What? No, but you don't want to tell them that they're breaking up. You're trying, you're like, you know, special agent. That's why everybody should have a landline. No. Yeah. See, I know that I talk too much because I'll be like, and then, and then I go, hello? And I look at my phone, and it's been, like, disconnected for 30 seconds. Or the guy's just doing this, but his phone's three feet from his ear. They're going, yeah, I think I'm getting the flu. Guarantee Matt does that. Lauren calls back and goes, what's the last thing that you heard me say? You were celebrating your 13th birthday? That's the last thing I heard you say? And the last thing on the list is... Oh, wow. I heard happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. You're turning 13. Oh, wow. The last thing on the list is don't multitask while you're on the phone. Especially don't go in the bathroom if you're on the phone. They can hear the toilet flush. Yeah, they can. And it's very hollow in there. Don't eat. That's why you got to do it like this. This is what you do. Every guy has done this. Oh, no. You have your cell phone in your hand. You have your foot right here. Your finger.

2:51:19On the flush, and you go like, and then you say something really loud. You go, wait a minute. I'm going to show you exactly how you do this. You go, yeah, I totally get what you're saying right now. I totally understand it. And let me just say, um. That didn't work out well. He missed the button. He missed the button. His hands. Mikey was really trying to push the toilet. His arms are too small. His arms are too small. Are you ready? Take two. Here we go. Do you want me to come over there? Leg is spread out. Yeah. Right? Hand is on the toilet flush. Yes. And you go, oh, my gosh, totally. That is so funny. That is so funny what you just said right now to me. Why do I hear water running? Yeah. That is not. Why are you screaming? I just told you I was in the library, jerk. It sounds hollow wherever you are. I'm in a cave. Hollow. Have you done that? Why don't you just push mute? Of course. Never go down. I've run. Just mute. Because then she goes, did something just happen to your phone? Yeah, I pressed mute so I could flush the toilet. Because as we were having that really romantic conversation, I was filing papers. Ew. I was doing some paperwork. Doing some paperwork. It's fantastic. Did you know that you can now own a jet pack? Thank you, God. Finally. Finally. When we come back, I'm going to tell you how it works, how much it costs, what it's all about.

2:53:03Is she? She's not happy. And I got a great, great topic to talk about when we come back. And it has to do with your kids outing you. That's next. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. It's a nonstop sex parade. She's out of my league. Rated R. Starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. BevMo presents the five-cent sale word, get one more. Yes, technically that's three words, but when you can buy one bottle of wine and get a second for just five cents, why limit yourself to one word? Or one bottle for that matter? BevMo's five-cent sale is on. Choose for more than 200 great wines, like Han Seurat.

2:54:09Gnarly Head Chardonnay, and Sterling Limited Release Meritage. Club Bev members, buy one bottle, get the second for just five cents. Get one Moe and save Moe at BevMo. We begin in a world of consumer banking needs, but travel to another dimension. A dimension of secure, fast, and easy ways to make deposits through ATMs, of no longer having to fill out deposit slips or use envelopes. You've just crossed over into the Chase Zone. Did you just put that check directly into the ATM? Yep. No deposit slips, no envelopes? No need. Whoa, you just stuck a bunch of 20s in there. What is wrong with you? Me? I'm not the one feeding the ATM like a hungry Sasquatch. Sasquatch? Really? I don't know. It's Chase Deposit-Friendly ATMs. Deposit checks and bills. Then it shows you a picture of the checks on the screen and on your receipt. Wow, ATM machines that practically read your mind. My bank doesn't have that. Chase does. Chase now has ATMs that let you securely deposit up to 30 checks and 50 bills at a time with hardly any effort. Just slide them in. They take care of the rest. That's what happens when you step into the Chase Zone. Deposits are subject to the fund's availability policy. See a banker for details. J.P. Morgan Chase, Bank N.A., member FDIC. AT&T gives you the freedom to build your own bundle from four choices, including wireless phone service. Because Americans love choices. You could call us choice-a-holics.

2:55:30We demand 237 flavors of ice cream, not including Tutti Frutti. Painting the living room? We need at least 2,896 shades of brown. Yes! And every bookstore carries 972 titles on macrame. A complete waste of time. For Americans, choice is about finding the one thing that's just right for you. That's why, unlike cable, AT&T lets you customize your bundle from these four choices. Wireless phone service, high-speed internet, home phone service, and advanced TV. Now you can! Get exceptional offers on new and certified pre-owned BMWs during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas. Lisa 2010 BMW 128i Coupe.

2:56:38for only $279 a month plus tax. Or a 2010 528i sedan for only $489 a month plus tax. Or get up to $2,500 spring drive credit plus 0.9% APR financing on select models. And don't forget, you can save thousands on our huge selection of certified pre-owned BMWs only at BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Click bmwencinitas.com. For over 80 years, USAA has served the financial needs of our soldiers, veterans, and their families. No matter where you are, you can handle your finances anytime with our secure online banking from free ATMs nationwide. To mortgages and cash bonuses when buying and selling your home through USAA's real estate program, USAA Bank provides a full financial suite of banking services. And if you qualify, you can even deposit a check using an iPhone or computer scanner. You've given a lot for your country. Making it convenient to manage your finances is the least we can do for you. If you have ever honorably served, let us serve you. Start by opening a free checking account today. Visit USAA.com.

2:57:59USAA does not charge a fee for the first 10 ATM withdrawals and refunds up to $15 in other banks' ATM usage fees each month. Eligibility restrictions apply. Real estate program provided by USAA Relocation Services Incorporated and is not available in all states. iPhone is a trademark of Apple Incorporated. Bank products provided by USAA Federal Savings Bank and Equal Housing Lender. Member FDIC. Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? FM 94.9 presents Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Saturday, March 13th at the House of Blues. With the wigs. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Saturday, March 13th at the House of Blues. Tickets available now at livenation.com. See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. Are you seriously not wearing any underwear? What? She's Out of My League. Rated R. Starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com.

2:59:03This report is brought to you by Toyota Motor Sales USA. Your Toyota dealers committed to your satisfaction. They've extended their hours and added associates to take care of your service needs, answer questions, and address your concerns. Fellow Cedar Road at Hamilton Lane in accident. It's an SUV and a car that collided. One went down about 20 feet into that gully. They do have a tow truck on the scene. Heading on that 5 southbound before Via De La Valle, an accident. You're going to find it over on the right shoulder. Tow truck also on the scene here. Lots of congestion in the area as a result. And the 56. westbound between Carmel Valley Road and the 5. A little slow, about in the mid-20s right now. This report brought to you by your San Diego farmer's insurance agents. With farmers, you don't just get insurance, you get ready. Get to know your farmer's agent, Brian Palmer. You can call him today, 858-578-5877, because ready feels good. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Phil Anselmo. I think, yeah, I mean, right now, all I can see is Lauren furiously writing down the words Phil Anselmo. She's going to buy this. So that after the show, she can try to look up every song he's ever done. Oh, I can't wait. I love it. Yeah? It's good stuff. Let's see. What do I got for you? Mikey Show is myself.

3:01:15Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna, and Jay. And if you would like to be a part of the M1 Nation, all you need do is spread the word about the Mikey Show. When you call in, turn your radio down, get to the point, don't cuss, and you are a part of the M1 Nation. Turn new people on to the Mikey Show. And thank you so much to listeners that are helping the show grow the way that it has. It's been remarkable and a blessing. March Music Madness. One artist is going to be crowned this year's champion. Selection special, Sunday night, 7 o'clock. If you want to know more, go to FM949SD.com. Coolest website out there. Check it out. And get all dialed in on it. Speaking of websites, I want to let people know that if you go to MikeyShow.com, you can actually have our web designer do your stuff. He's here with us today, but I'm not going to make him go on the mic because he's like, don't embarrass me again, dude. But he is.

3:02:15He's the Michael Jordan of anything graphic design. Phenomenal. Phenomenal. The guy made me look good. Yeah. CreateYourDesign. That is. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is the website. And he's just crazy, crazy talented. And you can check it out by going there and taking a look. So you can have a jet pack. And the thing is, is... I just imagined you with a jetpack. The best thing ever. Nobody needs to put Mikey on a jetpack. Nobody needs to find Mikey and put him with a jetpack on his back. Michael Shannon. Maybe flying through the air. I can see him flying up and hitting the buttons on the microwave. Problem solved. Through the ceiling. You see these little boots just dangling in the ceiling. Little boots. There you go. One minute. One minute. Little feet just kicking. Dangling and kicking. In the harness. In the jetpack harness. What's he? What's he? I love it so much. I do too. So do they have like a jetpack school? Because I can't imagine you just throw a jetpack on and away you go. Well, you don't need a pilot's license because it's an ultralight aircraft. But the company enforces that you have to go through their training program. So how much will a jetpack cost me?

3:03:44Well, first, this jetpack is called the Martin Jetpack. And it will cost you $90,000. However, you only need 10% down to get one of these bad boys. You got nine grand lying around, you can look down towards the jetpack. Okay, I have so many questions that I'm sure they don't give in the article. But first of all, I would want to know, how much does it weigh? It's very light. Really? 7.2 kilograms. 7.2 kilograms. What is the difference? Because, dude, what if you're putting on like a 100-pound pack on your back? Okay, you can fly now. Oh, great, great. I'm going to Stater Brothers. Worth it. Really? Yes. Okay, I'm going to go to Stater Brothers with my 100-pound backpack on. Yes. Walk into Stater Brothers, do all my shopping, come back out, and fly back home holding eight bags in a can. I have a crazy story, of course. I hired the guy who flies a jetpack to do the Sky Show with the big fireworks program. He only had a minute flight time, but he flew all the way around the stadium. This guy could only weigh like 108 pounds, though. He was skinny as a rail. That's great. I'll use 19 jetpacks. One strap to each leg. Yeah. This thing is a carbon fiber model. It can generate 600 pounds of thrust. You can let go of the controls and just hover. That weighs 14 stone.

3:05:05It runs on gasoline and burns through a five-gallon tank in about a half an hour. Half an hour? If you want one, there is a 12-month wait. Guys, this is awesome. What are you going to do? How are we not, like, flipping out right now? Because. Oh, my gosh. He's got a Volkswagen bus on his back, this guy. Do you think that they would do it? And an Aquaman, too. Do you think they would give us one for some mention? They should. We'll do it. Hey, these are awesome. 90K. It's the dumbest looking thing I've ever seen. Excuse me. If it's a jet pack, it's not dumb. It looks dumb. The guy's got... I'm in. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. The building we're in right now, seventh floor, he's basically got it strapped to his back. He's flying around in it. Whatever. I am in. I'm in, too. Well, I have a question for you guys, then. Well, guess what? Lauren's the only one that can use one. Yeah, I know. Guess what? No, not guess what. What about hang gliding? That's kind of like flying. Would you ever hang glide? Hell yeah. Can I say that on the radio? You just did. Who? Would you? No. You won't even snorkel? Dude, of course I wouldn't. Are you kidding? Mikey won't even walk down the beach. No. I'm going to get sand in my shoes. Would I hang glide? Is it hand glide or hang glide? Hang glide. Would you ever hang glide? Yeah, if I was with someone else.

3:06:27Really? You would tandem hang glide? You can? Yeah. Really? I don't think they just let anyone just go hang gliding. That scares me. You usually have an instructor. That's true. You would have to have somebody the first time you did it, right? That scares me to death. I went tandem skydiving. You're a lunatic. Yeah, and I was like screaming like, yeah! The whole time, not realizing the spit was flying out of my mouth onto my instructor. I had the, I skydived one time in my life. You did? You did? Dallas, Texas. Dallas, Texas. Skydive, Texas. Dallas, Texas. Skydive, Texas. Yeah. Yeah. So it was. I think I sold, did I sell that? Nope. It was a lady, older lady. Gail Bashir. Gail Bashir sold it. And she was like, Mike, you're going to have so much pilot out there. You're going to love it. You're going to love it out there. I can't believe you went skydiving. You did that? Let me tell you the story. Let me tell you the story. So Rebecca is breaking up with me. Weird. Weird. So you decided to jump out of a plane. Yeah. Well, we would break up, get back together. Break up, get back together. And this time, I was sure it was for real. So I'm heartbroken, right? Right. And I have to go skydive.

3:07:32Because it was for the station. You had to go for the station. Yeah, I had to go. So I'm driving out. Yeah. An hour to McKinney, Texas. And I'm like, just feeling awful, you know. So I get out there and you have to skydive with this guy, this big six foot six dude. And I get there and he's over enthusiastic guy. And I'm feeling. You stoked, dude? Are you stoked? Are you so freaking excited, man? You're about to skydive, homie. You're about to jump out of a plane, bro. Yeah, dude. Come on, man. Get fired up. I am. I am. Come on, dude. Hey, is it okay if I... Do you guys have a place that gets good cell service? Dude, no, man. We're going to jump out of a plane, bro. I know, but I have to check and see if my... She didn't call, dude. Come on. Get on my back, man. I've got your back, bro. This is almost exactly right. They have to be that way. If they were, like, somber and scared, you would be like, I'm going to die. Welcome to Skydive, Texas. It was so awful. So the guy teaches, I have to go through the 45-minute course of, like, how to lay. You know, I'm laying on my stomach, arching my back, you know, trying to learn how to do this thing. Did you take your suspenders off? Shut up. So then they stick me in the harness, right? I'm in the big...

3:08:57I'm in a jumpsuit that they obviously have to roll the legs up 19 times to make it fit. I should have just let you wear your parachute pants. Oh, wow. Parachute. Nothing to worry about then. So we're getting to altitude. Oh, forget it. And dude is sitting across from me and he's like, are you just stuck? Here we go, dude. And I'm like, I don't care. And he goes, and so he senses my heartbreak. He interprets my heartbreak for nerves. Dude, don't get nervous. Quit freaking out. Don't freak out, dude. It's my face. Blank stare. Slack doll. All I have in my head is me and Rebecca are breaking up. Again. Me and Rebecca are breaking up. Again. The hundredth time this month, but this time it's for real. I hope my suspenders snap. So we go. and jump out of the plane, and he's videotaping it, and he's got the videotape, like, in his hand, strapped to his hand, and as we're falling, and my face is like, flapping, you know, with the g-force. It really does. And I'm still, like, you know, thinking about Rebecca the whole way down, and I don't care about any of this, and he's like, how much freaking fun is this? I can't! How freaking fun this is! And I'm like, this is freaking fun. This is freaking fun.

3:10:30Are you scared? No, I'm not kidding you. All that's on my head is Rebecca. Are you kidding? I don't care about any of it. And then he pulls the ripcord and my testicles go, wham! And I'm like, oh! It yanks up on me. And he's like, isn't this the greatest? And I'm looking in the camera. I'm like, it's the greatest. No. It's the greatest. Yeah, it's so awesome. And we get down and we get down onto the ground. And I'm just like, get me out of here, man. I just want to get out of there. It was the worst experience ever. And I can't understand how that feeling of yank. Anybody likes, I mean, a girl, obviously, because you guys don't have rocks. But, I mean, for a guy, I don't get a guy digging the skydiving. That thing yanked up on the boys. Are you sure you weren't skydiving with Frankie? That doesn't seem right. Dude, that was my hand. Yeah, dude. I was making sure you didn't fall. Hey, this is completely normal. That was my hand.

3:11:41Hey, something's going to happen, but it's completely normal. Don't worry about it. So don't trip out. I'm tripping out, I'm tripping out, I'm tripping out, I'm tripping out, I'm tripping out. It's the worst. I can't believe you weren't nervous. Dude, I wasn't nervous even a little bit. Like, you know when you are obsessive, compulsive, thinking about something? Yeah. And all you can think about, poor Woods just went. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. Yeah, pal, I can. Every day of my life. Every day I write the book, Mike. Okay? Every day. Every day I write the book. Every day is a winding road. Every day is a winding road. Mike, he gets nervous in the elevator, dude. I'm telling you. He does. He's like, I hope nobody but us gets in that elevator because I don't really want people looking at me or talking to me. I'm like, dude, it's okay. It's seven floors. I don't like that. I don't say that. Little boots. It's seven floors. Don't worry about it. He's like, oh, who's this? Are they walking towards it? Hit the woods. Hit the door closed. Hit the door closed. What's the big jacket he's got on? What's under that jacket? I'm the same way, though. I'm blown away. I'm blown away. I wasn't at all. He's 6'6". He gets up for us to jump out of the plane, and I lift up off the ground on his back. Baby Bjorn. Yeah, I'm in a baby Bjorn. I'm in a baby Bjorn. He's walking us to the thing, and I'm just like to jump out. And I'm like, all I'm thinking about is Rebecca.

3:13:07I'm looking at 13,000 feet and he's like, awesome! I'm like, I love you so much. Woodchip, get to work on that. Mikey and a baby Bjorn. That's right. Skydiving, Mikey, is what I want to see. Awful. Never would do it. I'd never do it again. I would never do it. How have your kids outed you? So, Jake has this new thing where when I go into the restroom, You have a stack of papers to file. Dude, this made me laugh so hard last night. This made me laugh. Because he's never done this before. He's never done this before. It made me laugh so hard. If my wife is listening right now, she is going to die. So I'm in there. And Jake is, like, by the door. And he's, like, leaning down. And he goes down. And he's, like, leaning in, like, looking under the crack. He goes, Daddy.

3:14:05And I'm in there and I go, Jake, come on, buddy. He's being a turd burglar. Yeah, and so. You didn't give him the astaire. The camo cuff. Somebody's in here. So, so, so. There's a noise that happens. And he. I said there's a noise. I didn't do the noise. And he starts to giggle. He starts to giggle. Which makes me start to, like, laugh hysterically. And he goes, he goes, Daddy toot? And I thought I was going to lose my mind laughing. I laughed to the point. I laughed to the point where my face. It's beet red. I have tears streaming down my face. And I'm laughing so hard that it's... And each time, each time, he's commenting on it, which is making me laugh harder. Play by play. Daddy toot. Daddy toot. Daddy toot. Daddy toot. Daddy toot. Oh, my gosh. And so as soon as Rebecca comes into the room, he's like, Mom!

3:15:22You gotta get a load of this. Kids love the tooting. Kids love to out you. So 570-1949, how have your kids outed you? Oh, I've got a great one. I actually have two. When Finnegan was little, he was probably four. His big thing was if I was going to the bathroom, he wanted to come up on the side of the toilet and go as well. And so he's going and he's kind of looking up at me. And I'm just like, hey, you know, do your business. Here we go. Hold on a second. Explain this to me. You're going to the bathroom and he's going on the side of the toilet. We're both we're both standing up. Yeah, they're both standing up. We're not both. Yeah, boys can do this. Yeah, boys can do this. I was thinking number two. No. Both of your cheeks. So you're crossing streams. Crossing streams. Right. So then. He didn't really stay a whole lot, but then we go out to the store to get some groceries or something, and he looks up at the clerk there that checks out, and he goes, Daddy has a big wee. No! Okay. Yeah, and I'll have some of those. Wow. Jay's like, that a boy. Well, in comparison, of course. Sure he did, pal. Sure he did. No, in comparison. The story's been changed. The truth is a little, but the story has over the years.

3:16:36Has literally evolved. Each time he tells it, it gets bigger and bigger. And then the other one, we had the talk with our kids when they were little. It's like, okay, little boys have a woo-hoo, and little girls have a hee-hee. And, you know, if anybody ever does anything or says anything, wants to touch you, you come to us and tell us. Right. So then we go to my parents' house, who my parents have never, ever had any kind of talk with me. Like, it didn't exist in my house. You never had the sex talk of any sort. Right. It just was, you know, it happens. So I think it was Maddie goes up to my dad and goes, hey. And looks around. Little boys have them. And little girls have them. And then turned right into a song. Little boys have them. Little girls have them. Wow. And my dad just standing there going, okay. And his jaw dropped open like, uh, what? Really nice parenting, son. Very nice parenting. Way to go there. Did she use the real words? Oh, the real words. Yeah, 100%. Oh, no. A little P and V. P and V. 5701949. How has your kid outed you? Where you're just like, no, they didn't just say that. I told you guys the story the other day when Todd and I, and he has an eight-year-old daughter, my stepdaughter, were out to dinner. Right. And Todd went to go file some papers in the bathroom. And our waiter...

3:17:54walked in on Todd. Yeah. And so when Todd came back to the table, he came and was telling me, oh, babe, you have no idea. Our waiter just walked in on me. It was awful. Right. And then when the waiter came back, Jenna, she was like six at the time, was like, Dad, is that the guy? Mortified. Todd just wanted to crawl under the table and die. Of course, because he wanted to die anyway. He was already, oh. He dropped 60 bucks and leave. Yeah. And he'd never come back. The waiter's face, too, was like. Oh, like he wanted to die. Oh, that is the worst. M1 Palms. M1 Palms, what's going on, guys? Not too much. Go ahead, man. Hey, my wife just recently got pulled over last week, and my two-year-old daughter's in the back telling the cop, I tell her to drive careful and slow down. She drives fast all the time. Oh, my gosh. Have a good morning, guys. That's awesome. All the time. That's great. I tell mommy all the time not to hide that cocaine. There's weed in here too. M1 Jamie. Okay. I was at a work party and it was a work pool party, the luau thing, and I'm super self-conscious about my bust. So it was a family thing, but I wanted to make sure that I stayed where I was supposed to be. So I used duct tape to make sure that my swimming suit stayed.

3:19:13There was another girl at the party who was not so conscientious about where her boobs ended up. And my daughter says very, very buoyantly, you know, she was like, well, you should duct tape your boobs in your swimming suit like my mom does hers. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I have a question for you. Jamie, I have a question for you. Would you and your friend like to come in on a Friday to hang out with the Mikey show? You're ridiculous. Pervert. Zinjaya said he has one. And you're being inappropriate. Sanjaya, come here. And thank you for the call, Jamie. Can you imagine how awful, brutal. So awful. Sanjaya. This is horrible. What happened? I was at some gas problems. I love it already. I was sitting on the couch and I thought I was going to toot, but it was more than that. Oh, no. Oh, yes. And so I, yeah, so I ran to the bathroom, pulled one of my kids off the toilet. Yeah. Said he's the bathroom. Right. And I come out, you know, and I'm telling my girlfriend, I'm like, dude, I think I just messed up my pants. Yeah. And so my little kid, you know, hears everything. My little boy is five years old. And it was like Sunday, Sunday game for the Chargers. And my friends come over and my little boy tells everybody, daddy pooped his pants.

3:20:25That's the worst one. And you know what's so terrible about it is that you can't like go, oh, he heard that on, you know, he heard that on Elmo. Kids say the darndest thing. Yeah, they do. He was watching that Wiggles episode where they pooped their pants. Unbelievable. You know, you can't really explain that away. Oh, that's the worst. The second little kids find out about tooting or poop or anything like that. Forget it. Forget about it. Forget it. They love it. It's over. And they don't have the filter. They don't know. They don't know. It means break, almost. That was unnecessary. Well, we have a sign that we give when I have five minutes to break. That's it. It's a new one. And what happened was, is that I thought... When Lauren was holding up the five-minute sign, I thought she wanted to say something. So I go, Lauren? She was like, nothing. I don't have anything. I like orange juice. Yeah. And so what Woods has decided to do is start doing an Irish jig to let me know that I have five minutes left. It scares me a little bit. Yeah, it does. It does. 570. Works, though. Yeah, it does. 570-1949 is our phone number.

3:21:42that Conan O'Brien is taking his show to local theaters. I can't wait. Not movie theaters, but like theaters. Yep. 30-city theater tour going around, and it's beginning April 12th in Eugene, Oregon. Do we get one? I believe so. I think it's coming to San Diego. It doesn't say so on this list, but yeah, you guys said that you heard about it this morning. Cool. Yeah, so. Yeah. I heard about it because they actually want me to open for him. Is that right? Yeah, it's crazy. They asked if we were related. Really? Yeah. Of course. The O'Briens. Of course. The O'Briens. You should be the O'Brien twins. That is so cool. I'm sorry. Because he could get another TV gig eventually, and I'm sure he will. But for him to do this, that is so cool for his fans to be able to go and see him live. Uh-huh. You got to stay sharp. I don't think Leno would do that. Why are the what's the deal? The school in Mississippi, they're being sued for canceling the prom. And it all stems over a lesbian student. Yes. What's the deal? Well, there was a lesbian student, a girl who wanted to bring her girlfriend to the prom. And they called the entire thing off because they did not want.

3:23:00prom if there was going to be lesbians there. How many times, by the way, have we heard this story? I know. Like, it seems like we've heard this a million times. I don't know that they've ever canceled the entire prom. I think what they've done in the past is they've said, you can't come. Or they've, like, segregated them. So now they've just said, eh, nobody's getting prom if you come. Yeah, that's not going to cause a stir, right? No, no, not at all. That won't garner any attention whatsoever. We're going to keep this really quiet. This is a huge story right now. Yeah, now that the student is suing the school for doing this. For sure. And pretty rightfully. Absolutely. You know, it's pretty crazy. If there is some sort of a policy in place, you look at the policy. But to cancel the prom for a bunch of students is... weird. Just start making rules. Welcome to Mississippi. It says at the center of the lawsuit is a memorandum from the school to students which states that prom dates must be of the opposite sex. Well, but why? Okay, if that's a rule, that's a rule. I'm not saying whether or not the rule's right or whether the rule's wrong. But what I don't get about it is if somebody violates the rule, why does everybody have to miss out? I don't get it. It's weird.

3:24:25Are you going to start charging you for paper or plastic at the grocery store? They should just charge for plastic. Oh, really? Yes. I can't imagine that our green friend would think something like that. What is an appropriate thing to do when you go to the grocery store, Lauren? We should take our own, like we should take an Easter basket. Corn husks. No, you take an Easter basket and you use corn husks. Bring your own if you can, and some places will give you like five cents off for every bag that you bring in. I bring a big styrofoam thing. Is that what you do? Yeah, big styrofoam. I'm going to start shanking him. With whale blubber in it. That's how I carry my groceries. I've knitted my grocery carts out of straw, and so I just walk into it. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. It's a nonstop sex parade. She's out of my league. Rated R starts today. For a sneak peek at extended outreach material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. For over 80 years, USAA has served the financial needs of our soldiers, veterans, and their families. No matter where you are, you can handle your finances anytime with our secure online banking. From free ATMs nationwide.

3:25:49To mortgages and cash bonuses when buying and selling your home through USAA's real estate program, USAA Bank provides a full financial suite of banking services. And if you qualify, you can even deposit a check using an iPhone or computer scanner. You've given a lot for your country. Making it convenient to manage your finances is the least we can do for you. If you have ever honorably served, let us serve you. Start by opening a free checking account today. Visit USAA.com. USA does not charge a fee for the first 10 ATM withdrawals and refunds up to $15 in other banks' ATM usage fees each month. Eligibility restrictions apply. Real estate program provided by USA Relocation Services Incorporated and is not available in all states. iPhone is a trademark of Apple Incorporated. Bank products provided by USA Federal Savings Bank and Equal Housing Lender. Member FDIC. Verizon is the best destination for great family value. And that's good to know. Because if you make any more cuts to your budget, your children are going to riot. You've cut back on movie night and banned junk food. Lay a hand on their wireless, and the hard truth is they'll be picketing the kitchen table in no time. Good thing Verizon has free phones for the whole family, including the compact LG Accolade or the sleek slide-out Samsung Intensity. Right now, get either phone free after a $50 mail-in rebate debit card.

3:27:08Plus, add lines to your family share plan for just $9.99 monthly access per line. Upgrade your family to America's largest and most reliable wireless network. Visit Verizon Wireless, verizonwireless.com, or call 1-800 to join in. After the first two lines for $69.99 monthly access on a nationwide talk family share plan. All phones require new two-year activation, early termination, and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com. This is an important alert from the lawn desk. Yes, it's tough to grow grass around here. But when the growing gets tough, the tough get growing. So repeat after me. I want to grow grass. I can grow grass. And by golly, I will grow grass. How? Scott's Turf Builder Grass Seed with WaterSmart. Turf Builder has Scott's WaterSmart coating that absorbs and releases water to keep the seed moist longer than uncoated seed. So it grows, even if you miss a day of watering.

3:28:03And Scott's Premium Tall Fescue Mix was specially developed to survive heat and drought and thrive season after season. See, nothing can stop you. A long, hot summer can't stop you. A dry spell can't stop you. Insects can't stop you. Only you can stop you. And you're sure not going to stop you, are you? You're going to get Scott's Turf Builder Grass Seed with WaterSmart and start planting the seeds of success. That concludes this Lawn Desk Alert. Scots, the official lawn care company of Major League Baseball. Cool. Suffering from high interest rates on your credit cards, barely able to make just the minimum payments on your debts? We here at the Bankruptcy Law Center can help. Call 1-800-718-9688 or go to our website at getoutofdeutsandiego.com. You can file for a bankruptcy and still keep your home and your cars. You can erase your second mortgage and stop the foreclosure process. Most people think bankruptcy destroys your credit, yet many people actually have better credit after they file. Call the Bankruptcy Law Center to set up a free consultation with a lawyer.

3:29:03today at 1-800-718-9688. Don't get scammed by those so-called debt consolidation and debt settlement companies. Debt settlement ruins your credit. Debt settlement can also leave you with a huge tax bill, and many people end up being garnished by their creditors. When you're dealing with real debt, you need real help from experienced lawyers. Call 1-800-718-9688. 1-800-718-9688. Or go to our website, getoutofdeutsandiego.com. This is a legal advertisement. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public.

3:29:48By being burdened with credit card debt to aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344. We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344. 800-724-1344. Again, that's 800-724-1344. Here's more of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9.

3:31:10All those dudes, big fans of the Mikey Show. P-O-B. Matis Yahu. You love it? I love this. Love it. So cool. Matis Yahu is a Hasidic Jew who is serious about it, man. And I talked to the dudes in POD and they said he is just one of the coolest dudes. And when they recorded with him. He's like for real about it, man. Like when he's at shows and stuff, when he does shows, he won't shake hands with female fans because, you know, basically his beliefs call that you don't touch another woman besides your wife. Wow. And it's a trip, man. He is so like for real about it, you know, just on fire about it. And it's so cool. I must be a Hasidic Jew. Yeah. Same way. That's right.

3:32:40You say the same thing? I'm the same way. Yeah? Never. You won't shake hands because the only woman you'll touch is your wife? Exactly. That's very sweet. It's not the hands that he's into. Yet. What the hands can grab. What do you get? Filthy minds. I know it. Are they going to start charging us for paper or plastic? Plastic. Plastic, Michael. You take your own, right? Sometimes, but sometimes I forget or I don't have enough. Michael, so you just use your shirt. I buy what I can carry in my hobo stick with the kerchief tied on the end of it. It's tied onto the end of a branch. Yeah, the end of a branch. I just take out what I can carry in a coconut husk. People get mad, though, if they already start to bag it in a plastic bag, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, you know what I do? Double bag with plastic. Horrible. Double bag with plastic? Oh, that's the worst, right, Lauren? Yeah, you'd be thinking about your little dog getting caught up in that plastic bag. Really? When my dog's swimming in the recycling place or what? No, pretty soon. Pretty soon, plastic tumbleweeds. So, Sienna, they're starting to do this, right? Yes, they've already started. In? Washington. Weird. Five cents a bag. Get. Are you serious? Wait for this. Good. Baltimore, they're trying to charge 25 cents a bag.

3:34:02You know, that's the deal. See, I bet they're doing it to encourage people, right? For sure. Yeah. Is there any bigger beating than a paper bag? Trying to carry all your groceries up in paper bags? I like it. I do it. No, you don't. I do. They can only get maximum of two in one hand. At Henry's, they have the paper. And it's got real strong handles. Oh, handles? Yeah, the one I go to, you have to, like... It's the paper without the handles? Yeah, you prop them up against your chest. You spill stuff. Yeah. Get some hemp bags. Yeah, the bags are so killer. They've got the giant handles on them. You can grab them all at once. They don't tear. They don't break. Yeah, they sound killer. And you can smoke them. Yeah, when you're all done, you can put it in a bong. Why wait till you get home? Two birds. Hippies. I'm telling you. So, get ready. This is going to be happening here pretty soon. Perfect. Yay! Yeah, how about that, Cheech and Chong? You guys must love it. I'm Lauren and Jay. I think it's great. Weird. Usually, most places I'm going now, I have to bag my own groceries now, too, though. Yeah, absolutely. What kind of farmer's markets do you guys shop at? Henry's, Trader Joe's. I'm exhausted thinking about that. You can't make a move. Everything I do now, I'm like...

3:35:16Oh, God. Somebody's judging me. Don't do that. Grow up, Peter Pan. Do you know how many looks I get a day with the woman pulling up next? I don't know what I do, but she pulls up next to me, looks over at me, and just shakes her head. 30? That's on the way home from work. Is it when you're smoking, you're blasting cigs? Blasting cigs in the car, maybe on my cell. I don't know. Yeah. She pulls up next to me like, she's steam. Steam. I'm like, mind your own business. Mind your own business. Keep your eyes on your own paper. That's a good advice. For every human being, you worry about what you got going on in your car. Don't worry about what's going on in mine. What if it affects her? How does it affect her? What if you're slamming on your brakes? I'm not. I pay attention. Dude, are you kidding? He's got garbage billowing out of the back of the vehicle, you know? Slamming into her windshield. Smoke coming out. I'm throwing styrofoam containers out. This is going to sound awful. He's got a dolphin hanging out of the back of his car. I do hate riding behind somebody that is smoking. Of course you do, dude. It goes into your windows. Of course you do. Breathe it in. Of course you do, man. Those women probably have kids in their car. Do they? Really? They can smell it through the window, the crack in my window. Yeah. I hate people sometimes, dude. I just really do.

3:36:27Keep your eyes on your own paper. Woods looks over and he's like, really? I can't breathe. I can't breathe. They're going to start enforcing people not being able to smoke in their homes. Pretty soon. Yeah. I will move. I swear I will move. I'm telling you. I'll call in remote so I can still do this show. We got Woods on the line in Nova Scotia. Woods, he's smoking a cigarette, eating a bag of Doritos off the set. You know what I mean? Straight from the iron lung. Yeah. Just whatever. Cell phone up to the ear. God. I have a question, by the way, that just reminded me. I was thinking about, you know you like food too much when, you know you like food too much when you are drinking the end of the contents of the Doritos bag. Sprinkling in your eyes. Every time. Yeah, and little orange bits are flying into your face. That's something that you have to do in your alone time. Yeah, nobody's around when you're like, I do it in our meetings. Pouring the crumbs in your mouth because it takes too long to grab them. Right.

3:37:32Do you do that? Does anybody else do that? Yes. Besides everybody on planet Earth, does anybody else do that? What about, you know you like food a little too much when you're shopping at the grocery store and you've opened up a bag of food while you're walking down the aisles. I do it with a drink, but not food. Oh, I do it all the time. You do it with a food? Yes. And then you've got to hand the bag to them? Yeah, I'm like, oh, and they don't even care. They don't care. They're so hillbilly. I've handed them an empty bag before. Oh, yeah. I have the most embarrassing one. What? Do you guys ever go through the internal battle when you are leaving the fast food establishment and you're like, you're driving and you're looking at the bag and you're like, am I a pig if I start now? Can I wait? Can I wait two minutes to get home? Your whole family's waiting for that meal. Yeah. And you're like, can I just make it home? No, I want fries. And you're like, you're eating one fry at a time. You get home, you got three fries left in the thing because you're such a glutton that you can't wait to get in there before you even get home. I tried to tell you my story about this the other day, but you told me to save it. Yeah. Because what I do is I'll get a snack for the drive.

3:38:38And so that when I get home, I have my meal. So if I get a number one. Don't call it a snack. It's a snack. If I get a number one. It's called a Big Mac, bro. If I get a number one and it's sitting there, I will also get a regular cheeseburger or a hamburger so that I can eat that on the drive. And then I get home and I'm like. Still got my meal. It's brilliant. It's a road appetizer. It's brilliant. It's a road appetizer. I call it a road app. Yeah, really? It's brilliant. This is what I do when my alarm is going off in the morning and I don't want to get up. But then I remember I went to the grocery store yesterday and I have my favorite cereal in the pantry and I could not get out of bed faster just because I want that cereal. 570-1949. What is it that you do that makes you go, yeah. I might like food too much when... Or you're doing this thing. Like you're driving home. You just went grocery shopping. And you're driving home. Right. Lauren's doing it. You got your hand on the steering wheel. And you're reaching in the back seat to put your hand into a bag to try to grab onto the food in the back. Trail mix. Celery salt. Celery. Anything. Where's anything? A stalk of celery. Yeah. Where's my celery? That's my wheat. That's my barley.

3:39:52I need my celery. How about when you walk into a restaurant and the people that work there know everyone in your family's name? Oh, that's bad. Mr. Sparza. Yeah. And the restaurant's called Wendy's. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. It's a nonstop sex parade. She's out of my league. Rated R starts today. For sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com.

3:40:49You've just crossed over into the Chase Zone. Did you just put that check directly into the ATM? Yep. No deposit slips, no envelopes? No need. Whoa, you just stuck a bunch of 20s in there. What is wrong with you? Me? I'm not the one feeding the ATM like a hungry Sasquatch. Sasquatch? Really? I don't know. It's Chase Deposit-Friendly ATMs. Deposit checks and bills. And it shows you a picture of the checks on the screen and on your receipt. Wow, ATM machines that practically read your mind. My bank doesn't have that. Chase does. Chase now has ATMs that let you securely deposit up to 30 checks and 50 bills at a time with hardly any effort. Just slide them in. They take care of the rest. That's what happens when you step into the Chase Zone. Deposits are subject to the fund's availability policy. See a banker for details. J.P. Morgan Chase Bank N.A. Member FDIC.

3:41:49Do you remember when you used Dial-Up to access the Internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed, and now you're doing more and more on the Internet. Facebook and Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with Dial-Up. And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than Dial-Up? Here's the deal. If you want super fast Internet without all the lag you get with DSL, switch to Earthlink from Time Warner Cable. See, Time Warner Cable has this advanced fiber network. So with it, Earthlink is 13 times faster than DSL. 13 times. That's huge. Seriously, getting Earthlink for your internet service is such a no-brainer. Pick up the phone and call them 1-800-CABLE-TV to get Earthlink from Time Warner Cable for only $36.95 a month. That's 1-800-CABLE-TV or go to timewarnercable.com anytime. Some restrictions apply. Now you... Can get exceptional offers on new and certified pre-owned BMWs during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas. Lease a 2010 BMW 128i Coupe for only $279 a month plus tax. Or a 2010 528i sedan for only $489 a month plus tax. Or get up to $2,500 spring drive credit plus 0.9% APR financing on select models.

3:43:20And don't forget, you can save thousands on our huge selection of certified, pre-owned BMWs. Only at BMW Encinitas. On Encinitas Boulevard, between the 5 and El Camino Real. Click BMWEncinitas.com. All leases, 36 months, 10K miles per year, 20 cents per excess mile. 1-128-I at this offer. BIN number, L89146. 4883, total drive-off. 1-528-I at this offer. BIN number, 366311. 6576, total drive-off. Limited term financing and spring drive credit available only through BMW Financial Services. All offers with approved credit and expire 4-30-2010. Verizon is the best destination for great family value. And that's good to know, because if you make any more cuts to your budget, your children are going to riot. You've cut back on movie night and banned junk food. Lay a hand on their wireless, and the hard truth is, they'll be picketing the kitchen table in no time. Good thing Verizon has free phones for the whole family, including the compact LG Accolade for the sleek slide-out Samsung Intensity. Right now, get either phone free. After a $50 mail-in rebate debit card, plus add lines to your family share plan for just $9.99 monthly access per line. Upgrade your family to America's largest and most reliable wireless network. Visit Verizon Wireless, verizonwireless.com, or call 1-800 to join in. After the first two lines for $69.99 monthly access on a nationwide talk family share plan. All phones require new two-year activation, early termination, and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com.

3:44:47For over 80 years, USAA has served the financial needs of our soldiers, veterans, and their families. No matter where you are, you can handle your finances anytime with our secure online banking. From free ATMs nationwide to mortgages and cash bonuses when buying and selling your home through USAA's real estate program, USAA Bank provides a full financial suite of banking services. And if you qualify, you can even deposit a check using an iPhone or computer scanner. You've given a lot for your country. Making it convenient to manage your finances is the least we can do for you. If you have ever honorably served, let us serve you. Start by opening a free checking account today. In the tradition of Fox Sunday's upstanding father figures. No! Hey gang!

3:45:51Sweet. Comes Ron Snufkin. Tend to be our dad? We'll give you 200 bucks. Deal. The best dad 200 bucks can buy. You picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, that little girl looked a lot like Robbie from behind. It's the series premiere of the live-action comedy Sons of Tucson. We're paying him to help us make a good impression. Okay, now who's got my pants? Fake dad. Real trouble. After a new family guide. Sons of Tucson. Part of an all-new Fox Sunday. It all starts Sunday at 8 p.m. on Fox 5 San Diego. Taylor lovers! Taylor Lava Swing! Taylor Lava Swing! Taylor Lava Swing! Mama Testa Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can beat Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio! What have I done? See the movie critics are calling the funniest comedy since The Hangover. Are you seriously not wearing any underwear? What? She's Out of My League. Rated R. Starts today. For a sneak peek at extended outrageous material, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can't do anything. I can't do anything handy at all. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Get Lauren. I will take like a half an hour to get out of bed and be like, no. Deanna. Tagalongs. And Jay. Of course, I have an outrageous story. On FM 94.9. What's a clear indicator that you may like food too much? That you're fat. Wow. Okay.

3:47:32Okay. Have you got a little bit of schtuchus on the corner of your mouth? Schtuchus. Are you Shecky Green? You don't have one. Oh. How about when you're cooking a meal and you're full by the time the meal's done? That's a good one. That's me. That is 100% me. What about when you eat four pork chops and an entire box of macaroni and cheese? Stop. Like I did two nights ago. Are you kidding me? I'm not kidding. By the way, is there anything better than pork chops? No. There's nothing better. Pork chops taste good. That's right. Jinx. You're at the gym and you're thinking about what you're going to eat as soon as you're done. It's the truth. You're at dinner thinking about what you're going to have for breakfast. Oh, yeah, breakfast. You're thinking about what you're going to have for dinner. That was my grandfather. He planned two meals ahead. You know, I'm going to call out my entire family. I have an entire family, okay? We'd all be overweight, okay? All of us. And we would finish having breakfast and somebody would suggest, you know, like, hey, for dinner we should blah, blah, blah. And we would have like this really overweight, you know, somebody in the family really overweight would be like, you know, you shouldn't be thinking about dinner right after breakfast. And I remember thinking, really? Really? I mean, really? Like, I get it if you were like, you know, the six pack abs. Right. But it was always like, hey. It's like the clumps house. Right. You know, it's like we're thinking about dinner.

3:48:56Or we would be like, we'd be like, we'd be like cooking, we'd be like cooking and we would put butter in something. And that relative would come over and be like, you shouldn't put butter in the oil to use margarine. It's just margarine. And you're like, really? Like how much margarine are you using? Use olive oil. Yeah. Or they're like, you should use canola oil. And you're like, so you're using canola? You with the canola already? Yeah, he's guzzling vats of canola. Exactly. Thank you, Wesson. I appreciate it. Appreciate all the help. Oh, my goodness. You know you like food too much when? And we always did that. We always did the dinner planning. We planned for the week. Are you kidding? Want to know what celebrities are going to start performing? On cruise ships? Please. Really? Who? The guy who kicked it off was John Mayer last year. He did this. Really? It's actually pretty cool because he goes on the cruise and he's there for days. So people get to party with him and stuff. It's not just one performance and he's gone. Really? Yeah, Kid Rock is doing it in April. He's going on carnival cruises, porting in Tampa. And they leave April 29th and then they go to the Grand Canyon four days later is when they get off. I mean, does anyone think that's strange? Maybe they get lost at sea. Wouldn't be the worst thing.

3:50:17It's the worst. Lauren O'Brien. Kid Rock. It was shocking. The Backstreet Boys are going under Mikey's mouth. He's so excited. No, no. A show trip? You guys, wait a minute. You guys don't think that this is worse than the Tropicana? You know what I picture? I picture the Backstreet Boys sitting in a room. They got the door shut. Their manager's gone. Are we really going to freaking do this? Are we really? Like, hey, John Mayer did it. John Mayer did it. Kevin, do you really want to go on a carnival cruise? Yeah, dog, I do. Why, dude? Because, dog, it's going to be fun, man. We're going to get to gamble out there and everything. We're going to be on a cruise line. Yeah, with 50 million girls and a bunch of cabins, bro. Come on, dog. It's going to be fun. Come on. I'm with you, dog. I think you're in, man. I say we do it. I'm with you, dog. We're going to kill it, man. We're going to kill it. I found out every one of us is going to get paid $1,000 a night, dog. We're going to kill it. That's right. When the cruise is done, $7,000 a piece, dog. Take it. Then we go back out. April 15th to the 19th, VH1's best cruise ever, quote-unquote. Three doors down, Lifehouse, Shine Down, and Finger 11. Mikey's in. 100%. Mikey's hands are on his forehead, and he looks very in. Hey, hon, it's Mike. I'm going to need you to go ahead and take my credit card out of the drawer. I need you to book two tickets on this cruise immediately.

3:51:41We will be off the air from April 15th. What? Cruise line? No, seriously. I think they're all carnival. Yeah. You guys don't think that that's the end of the road? Yes. That's the end of the road, right? I think so. But aren't you announcing? Why don't you just send out a memo to Katie Couric that says, attention, it's the end of the road. We're done. Jumping the shark. Yeah. If you are on a cruise ship, you've said to the world. Right? Cruise ships, state fairs. Yes. And I don't know. Do I want to do carnival cruise before, you know, my nephew's, you know. Bar mitzvah. Bar mitzvah. You know, which am I going to do first? No, it's not even my nephew. It's just like anybody that wants to hire me, a nephew. I'll do your nephew. Like, doesn't it trip you out when you guys hear on that show Sweet 16 that somebody's been hired to play their part? I'm like, how did, what? Yeah, Little Boots is playing my part. Whoa, really? Little Boots, huh? Little Boots kills you. Yeah, it does. It does. But seriously, I don't know. This says Air Supply is teaming up with Flying Dutchman in October, and they're bringing Criss Cross with them. Air Supply? Yeah, Air Supply and Criss Cross. Yeah, it's the perfect combination. You know why? Because I like tuna fish with my peanut butter.

3:53:09There's a cruise called Malt Shop Memories, and it has Frankie Avalon, Leslie Gore, Little Anthony, and the Imperial. See, Frankie Avalon makes sense. Totally does. Yeah, totally, because he's 80. Totally does. And then another one is the... So is Criss Cross now. Are there clothes still on backwards? Probably. Mac, Dad, will make you jump, jump. Daddy, Mac will make you jump, jump. Jump, jump. Gross. Quisscross will make you. And then it's September. Oh, this is going to be good. Who? No, I'm laughing at Mikey's coffee. The Zac Brown Band, which is a country group who I love. They sing the song. Oh, I thought that was the blonde dude from Saved by the Bell. Zach Morris. I thought you were talking about Hanson. Yeah. That's right. 570-1949. Beginning and end of every show, we do open phones. You can call in about anything you want right now because we take the open phones at the end of the show. So give us a call. What else did I miss? M1 Canada. M1 Canada. Yeah, come over here and tell everybody what you got going on. Right now? Yeah, yeah.

3:54:31Well, my friend Emily has just started a brand new nonprofit that's really cool called Traveling Stories. And they want to donate small libraries to orphanages and schools in Central America where kids don't have books or have access to books. Very cool. Awesome. And so you can go to the Facebook fan page and just search for Traveling Stories. All the information is there. They're building a website. It's not up yet. But they're in need right now of money and donations of books written in Spanish. So if you've got anything, help these kids out, inspire minds, and donate books. Very nice. Traveling stories. Very cool. That's a really good cause and a really good thing to get behind. Let's see. And does anybody have any appearances or anything like that that you guys want to hit up right now or no? I'll be on my couch this weekend. So if you want to see me. Me too. I'm going to Los Angeles. You are? I am. Very nice. End of the show on Friday. I tell you my story. Tell you a little bit about where I've been and what's happened in my life. And the point of me doing that is because there may be something in my story that is currently or has happened in your life. When I was a kid.

3:56:00I was a victim of sexual abuse. A lot of people can say that, but many people don't. The problem with it is that it has such a drastic effect on your life. What happened was, as I got older, I did my best to try to hide the various aspects of my personality that were affected by that. When I was a teenager, I never felt like I fit in. Never. My entire life I never felt like I fit in. My entire life I felt different then and I always felt ugly. I lacked self-confidence and I lacked self-esteem. But of all the different things that I felt, I think that probably the worst thing that I felt was a feeling that I was worthless. That's hard to tell you. That's hard to admit to you. That I had a feeling of worthlessness.

3:57:46It's hard to tell you that there were times in my life where I felt completely desperate. One of the worst periods of my life was feeling complete and utter loneliness. And there may be many people listening right now that feel that. During those periods of my life, I tried to fill those empty places and those empty spots. I tried to fill it with all kinds of stuff. And I can be addicted to anything. I've been addicted to alcohol. I've been addicted to porno. I've been addicted to drugs. I used to try to make myself feel good by any means possible. The problem is it always made me feel, in the end, worse. Always felt worse. There may be people that are listening right now that have some of those same feelings. There may be people that are listening right now where porno is ruining your life and ruining your marriage.

3:59:12secret that you have. There's a website called x3watch.com that can help you. I was addicted to alcohol to the point where I couldn't stop drinking and eventually got to the point where I knew that it was going to kill me and so did my dad. So he called me over one Sunday morning and it's one of the only times I've seen my pop cry. And he told me that unless I stopped drinking, he couldn't have a relationship with me anymore. And that wore me down over a couple of months. After a few months, I decided that I needed to do something different. And I quit trying to run it myself. And I asked Jesus Christ to come into my life and change my life. This is my story. I own it. It's 100% mine. And it's true. When I did that, he came into my life and he changed everything. I can tell you that today I experience genuine.

4:00:41joy and happiness that I never experienced before. That's real. That's true. That's my story. No one can deny that because it's true. If you have any of those kinds of things happening in your life right now, you struggle with any of that kind of stuff, go to Mikey show.com. M I K E Y S H O W.com. Up at the top, there's a section called help. You click on that. It'll give you resources to get all kinds of help for all those different issues. And I tell you my story because I want you to know what he was able to do in my life. At the end of the show on Friday, I play a song for you. And I want you to listen to the lyrics of the song. Because it may be exactly where you are right now. It's a song called Pieces by a band called Red. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We will see you again on Monday at 6 o'clock. The Mikey Show is out late.

4:05:47About the music all day and night. 94.9. It's about the music.