The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/11/11
Friday, March 11, 2011
japan tsunamicalifornia tsunami advisoryhawaii tsunami impactfencing gamespanish word bibliotecacharlie sheen john cryer trolltokyo earthquake aftershocksnfl lockout negotiationstoothbrush age debatedating former porn starstom tom tunes song identificationmovie previews
The Mikey Show opened with a dominant focus on the 8.9 magnitude Japan earthquake and tsunami, featuring live updates, caller M1 Spider from Tokyo describing ongoing aftershocks and structural damage, and advisories for California and Hawaii. Throughout the morning, the hosts interspersed serious news with recurring bits: the Spanish word 'biblioteca' became a running joke and prize trigger; Mike's hotel call spawned the 'Tsunami Mike' meme; a new 'Let's Fence' game pitted Woods and Jay against fencing coaches, with Jay winning after a close bout; and Charlie Sheen's recent Conan appearance where he called John Cryer a troll was dissected, with Cryer's emotional response and the crew's humorous analysis of Sheen's 'winning' persona and legal troubles. The show also featured audience interactions on toothbrush age, dating former porn stars, Tom Tom tunes song identification, movie previews, and Mike's personal testimony of addiction and faith, all while periodically checking tsunami updates and reminding listeners about daylight saving time.
What happened, in order
Opening Tsunami Brief
Mikey introduces the 8.9 magnitude Japan earthquake and tsunami, setting the day's dominant topic and issuing California advisories.
Spanish Word Biblioteca
Mikey reveals the Spanish word of the day is 'biblioteca' (library), prompting a humorous exchange about learning Spanish and caller number nine for prizes.
Tsunami Mike Hotel Call
Mike calls a Hawaii hotel to check tsunami preparations, leading staff to mistake him for 'Tsunami Mike' and put him on hold due to a prior caller's reputation.
Quake Magnitude Math
Mikey breaks down how the 8.9 Japan quake was 20 times larger than the 1989 Loma Prieta 6.9 quake using Richter scale multiplication.
Charlie Sheen Troll Accusation
Charlie Sheen calls John Cryer a troll on Conan, prompting Cryer's emotional on-air response confessing he is indeed a troll and discussing hidden struggles.
Tokyo M1 Spider Interview
M1 Spider describes ongoing earthquakes in Tokyo, constant aftershocks, glass breaking, and structural damage despite being 80 miles from the epicenter, fearing for his flight home.
Let's Fence Game Launch
Mikey introduces the new morning game 'Let's Fence,' with Woods and Jay suited up and coached by Team Touche experts, beginning an on-guard bout.
Tsunami Wave Analysis
NOAA explains the tsunami as a series of three large waves dispersed by Hawaiian islands, with actual 6-foot up-and-down motion recorded, emphasizing strength over height for California surfers.
El Pollo Grill & Fencing Start
El Pollo Grill is promoted as sponsor, and the fencing match between Woods and Jay begins with on-guard commands, initial touches, and coaching from Team Touche.
Fencing Climax & Victory
After a back-and-forth bout with multiple touches, Steve (Jay) wins the final sudden-death touch, declared victor amid laughter and handshakes with Woods.
Reveler vs Irreverent Word Game
Mike and Jay struggle with the word 'irreverent,' leading to a running bit where L.O.B.'s wife loves the mispronunciation 'reveler,' called her favorite new bit.
Mike's Testimony: Addiction to Hope
Mike shares his personal story of hitting rock bottom with alcohol addiction in 2003, finding faith, and how that brought hope, family, and a new life perspective.
People mentioned
mikeywoodslobsiennajaychrism1 spidercharlie sheenjohn cryermichelle rodriguezcaseyadam lambertjoel maddennicole richie
29,363 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Welcome to The Mikey Show. It is a Friday with a live studio audience. We are probably going to be talking about the earthquake and the tsunami in Japan throughout the morning. That is definitely what is going to be dominating what's happening on The Mikey Show today, no matter what. If you're just waking up and you haven't heard, there was a... huge 8.9 magnitude quake in Japan and it caused a tsunami in Japan that is certainly on the same if not bigger scale as what happened in Indonesia years ago. Am I saying that right? They're saying it's one of the biggest disasters, biggest earthquakes, biggest ever. I mean, this is all you're going to be hearing about for a while.
I mean, just so sad. Yep. Waves as high as 30 feet in Japan, washing away cars, homes, farms, people. Yeah. I mean, last I've seen, 60 people at least reported dead. You're going to hear that those numbers go way up. Right. As time passes. Now, I think that the biggest question for most people is, okay, so what about California? What about the coast of California? And they're saying that, you know, obviously. You know, those waves will eventually make their way everywhere. But in terms of danger. Yeah, I'll tell you right now in California, south of Santa Barbara. For us, if you're scared right now, we have a tsunami advisory, which basically means stay out of the water. The water, the waves are going to be big and surfers are going to try and go out there. Don't go out there because these waves are so strong, stronger than you've ever seen. It can really hurt you. It's not going to look that crazy, though, here. North of Santa Barbara, they're on a tsunami warning. So they're told.
to stay off the coast. Right now, the tsunami has hit Hawaii, and it's going to continue hitting Hawaii for a while. I read that it'll take about 30 minutes to pass. It's hitting there now. Right now, yeah. And it will take 30 minutes for them to pass through the Hawaiian chains. Hitting the North Shore right now, and it's going to move over to Honolulu. Everyone on the island is told to move at least half a mile inland. Yeah. Stay off the coast. And the thing is, is Hawaiians, their whole lives growing up on that island, going to school, they were trained for stuff like this. You know, we have earthquake drills. They were told what to do. However, you know, Hawaii is like the number one tool. tourist destination, there is tourists in Hawaii at hotels that don't know what to do and are scared. And right now everyone's just being told, move inland, go up high, move inland. So, I mean, this is just, this is crazy right now. Well, and we'll have to wait to see, you know, exactly how bad it is. I'll give you a personal experience with that in just a moment. Let's see. Let me introduce everybody on the show.
I am Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40 years old. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 35. Oh my gosh. Yeah, the footage on TV is incredible. It's so sad. Look at the size of this wave. They're showing a wave on television that is a very powerful looking wave. And the first of the waves when you're dealing with the tsunami are more mild than the ones that come. Yeah. You know, people think the first one you see is going to be the biggest. No, it's the opposite. It's, in fact, like the third or the fourth that get bigger. Yeah. So, you know, this is breaking news in Hawaii right now, and Japan is, like, underwater. It's so sad. So let me give you some show stuff that you need to know, and then we'll be checking in with this as this goes along. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer, and we call her LOB. Sienna is our news girl. She's 25. Jay is our producer. He's 47. And our phone screener today is Chris. It's Krah. I go Krah. At all. Little angel. That's right. He certainly is. I love him. Me too. So we're going to be doing something new at 7.30 this morning. It's a new game called Let's. And today, Let's Fence.
Oh, boy. That's right. Woods and Jay are going to fence. Oh, boy. Gee, you think I'm going to get my butt kicked? Yes. 730. Well, we have some real fencers coming in, Woods, and they're going to show you. They're going to instruct both of you how to fence. It's not fair. Jay was actually, he's 160 years old. He grew up fencing. He grew up fencing. It's not fair. He invented it. He invented fencing. The foil, he invented it. Yeah. It's not fair. Yeah, we will be fencing this morning. The word of the day is biblioteca. Well said. Do you know what that means, Mike? No idea. We taught you yesterday. Yesterday. We said what it was? The Spanish word of the day is supposed to be informative, and you're supposed to learn, Mike. What is it? Library. It's a library. ¿Dónde es la biblioteca? Yes. First week of Spanish. 101. Maybe first day. Nelly. Yes. The first sentence I ever learned in Spanish. Was biblioteca. Or maybe donde esta la biblioteca. La zapateria. Zapateria. The shoe store. The shoe store. Well, I do not speak Spanish even though I am 100% Mexican. Yes. You will after this. Learning quite a bit. I really am. What was yesterday's? Do you remember?
How you said apple? And it was pronounced... All I remember about it was that there was a Z in it that was pronounced with an S. Correct. Mon... Monstrosity. That's right. Are you a Mexican or a Mexicant? Mexicant. 100%. Mexicant. If you're willing to admit it. Yes. So there you go. And when you hear that, you got to be caller number nine. When you hear me work the word... Bibliotheca into a sentence. When you hear me do that, then you need to be caller nine and we'll give you tickets to the NASCAR nationwide series. We'll give you a pair of sunglasses and we will enter you into the grand prize, which will be drawn today of $125 in gift cards to Arco Gas because gas is expensive right now. It really is. It probably is. No, probably.
And we're going into the summertime, which means that we're going to be doing that even more. Yep. You know, we're going to be spending more. We're going to be traveling more. You can call us, 570-1949. You can call us right now. We do open phones. You could also text 949mikey at gmail.com. And we're going to be talking to M1 Spider in a minute, who is in Tokyo. And so he's been doing interviews. Yeah. Crazy. and he's going to do one with us. He's been on Fox already. Who else? He said he's been doing interviews all morning, and he is going to call us after he gets off the phone with Fox 5. Awesome. Wow. So we'll be talking to him in just a bit to see what the situation is like in Japan. I've got his number in case he doesn't call. Do you want me to give it to Jay? Sure. Okay. Sure. Don't forget also, time changes this weekend. So we're going to spring forward. Blue sleep? Yes. But we gained daylight. What a great trade-off. The clocks are going to be moved ahead one hour early Sunday morning at 2 a.m. So you're going to have an extra hour of sunlight at night. Perfect. So this tsunami is, from what I hear,
It's moving at a really fast rate, moves about anywhere from 50 to 100 miles per hour. That is insane. Yeah, it is. And they say it's a three foot tall wave about moves anywhere from 50 to 100 miles an hour. Like Sienna said, it's hitting Hawaii right now. So when I woke up this morning and I saw on the news what had happened, I called. The hotel that we stay at in Hawaii. And I wanted to know what's going on. With your spa appointment? No. Your future reservation? No, that is not what I did. Did you call to check on the kiosk?
where you can make your own cologne. No. To make sure it had not blown away. No, I didn't. Are the pools open? The frankincense hadn't blown over. It spilled all over the ground. No. To make sure your masseuse is still there. Tommy Bahamas store is still open. Yep. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Why? Why the hotel? Well, the last tsunami that they had, I wanted to, I called them as well. Because as you know, I'm interested in hurricanes and have a hurricane tracker on my computer. When did you call them? The last time or this time? No, this morning. Oh, as soon as I saw the news. So you don't think they were trying to get to Highland? No. Yeah, maybe worry about the guests in the hotel. Boarding up windows. I called the concierge. Getting as much water as possible. Obviously. You know, I wasn't getting hot towels. Did you need a dinner reservation? No, I did not. The cab? Kayaking tour? Do you need a cab? Or whale watching? The helicopter tour through the beautiful volcano. You could have just gone to like, you know, CNN website or, you know, find out. I did. I did. I was on CNN. You wanted to talk to somebody. I needed to talk to someone. You needed to. First hand. And I wanted to know what's going on. Did they just answer, oh, hey, Mike? They might as well. I've done it before. Yeah. Every time there's a tsunami watch, I call them. Did they put you on hold?
Well, they put me on hold when I first called to transfer me to the concierge. They're like, oh, it's that Esparza guy. Guess who? Really? Guess who? I'm not talking to him. Not it. Cali guy. It's a guy from California again. Esperanza. They put their hand over the phone. They're like, it's the tsunami. I guarantee. I'm not talking to him. It's Tsunami Mike. Yeah. I guarantee. I talked to him last time. Tsunami Mike. So how do you even start that conversation? In English. You know, they speak English. No, no. How do you, like, so, hey, how you doing? I said, I said, hi, I'm calling from the mainland, and I just saw. Aloha. You didn't say that. I'm calling from the mainland. You didn't say that. I said, aloha. I'm calling from the mainland. You don't say mahalo until they tell you something. Easy, Joe. You said, you're calling from the mainland. I said, u kali i ikinduo. Shaka, brah. Shaka, brah. I said, I'm calling from the mainland. Oh, my God. Hello, it's Mike from the mainland. No, no, no, no. He said, aloha. Aloha. Mike from the mainland here. Mainland. Mainland Mike. This is Mainland Mike. Over and out. I'm calling from the continental, and you should see my blog where I wrote about it, and I was like, it shouldn't affect the continental United States in any other further away until... Read it to us.
Is it good? I am interested in weather. Easy, Al Roker. How dare you? How dare you? Tommy Bahama, can I help you? Yeah, we're doing fine. We're doing fine. Just folding some shirts and we're open for biz as usual. Business as usual. Don't worry, Mr. Esparza. Linen pants are still in. Hey, I'll put some stuff aside for you. You don't worry about that. I know you'll be in here. You going to be in the loo out tonight? Our tailor will be here to hem your pants. Don't worry. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. Yes, you do. You're wearing Tommy Bahama. Your shirt right now says Tommy freaking Bahama. Over and over and over again. It just says it. Yeah. Just tiny squares. Ceasingly. It says, I just heard about the tsunami in Japan. That's scary and very sad. I'll say some prayers for them. There will be a three-foot wave moving anywhere from 50 to 100 miles per hour moving west.
Now, the western side of the island of Kauai is in the most danger in the Hawaiian chains. Islands like Oahu, Molokai, and Maui benefit the most from the danger because the waves are dispersed by the other islands. I don't think it'll have much effect on the western continental. I don't have a huge problem with that. When I need updates, I'll just check out your blog. MikeyShow.com Mikey. Very well informed. He knows his stuff. My wife told me one time that she knew that I had to be hers because I was interested in hurricanes and natural disasters. I am too. I mean, I have a tattoo on my wrist. No, you don't. I'm a hurricane. I've never noticed that. Me neither. You didn't? No. He told us that last time. He did? Yes. I don't remember. We don't pay attention to that. You guys.
Mikey Show, FM 94.9. He was probably wearing his long-sleeved Tommy Bahama suit. Yes, you couldn't see it. You know, so it's like, oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't want Tommy. I guess you do. You probably had your Tommy Bahama, like, hemp bracelet on over it. Maybe the puka shell watch that you have. That you always wear. Can I tell you what they told me in Hawaii? Just move your shark tooth necklace out of the way. Don't think I don't have one. Of course he does. That's awesome. Of course I do. Oh my gosh. They said that it's not like it's being made out to be. They said that they're going to be fine. They said that it's a warning and that it should move through without any big problems. That's good news. Kawhi, I would think, would be maybe another story because they're the furthest to the west. And so if that thing is hitting as big as they say it is. And then the other thing, too, is I didn't know about this thing that you guys were talking about, that the first one isn't the biggest one. Yeah, the first wave. My goodness. The way that you know something bad is going to happen is that the tide goes out so far suddenly. It goes way out. It always draws people down. Hey, look at it. What's it doing? Yeah, and they're, you know, look, there's fish. Yeah.
And then boom. So no getting in the water here this weekend? No. Really? Well, not until they tell you to. These waves are going to be really strong. I'm going tomorrow. Sweetly. What? It's a beautiful day. It's going to be a beautiful day. I'll just swim. I won't surf. No. Pay attention to the advisory. I am a rebel. No. You're not. I mean, you're not. Just listen to me, Woods. Hey, Sienna, are you not? You're not supposed to be in there at all, right? You're not? No. For any reason. Surfers are going to go and be like, these waves are going to be gnarly. But don't. Hurt yourself because they're stronger than you think. Yes, they are. Hey, Jay. Hey. Don't you think that when there's a tsunami in Japan that maybe it might be good? I don't think it's going to mess up for days. No, not for days. I think we'll be good to go tomorrow. I think this afternoon I'll be fine. No, no, no. I mean, wouldn't you by tomorrow? Wouldn't you? Yeah, I think tomorrow should be fine. No, just wait until you get the word. Wait until you get the word. Yeah. That's what I would say. We're under a tsunami advisory right now in San Diego. Yeah. I really wanted to go out tomorrow, but we'll see what happens. M1 Gary from Camp Pendleton. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. You've been a meteorologist, I guess? Yeah, I'm a meteorologist and oceanologist. That's pretty awesome. That's pretty awesome. So, what do you think? I mean, by tomorrow... You know, Mikey, I'm right along the same lines as you.
I don't want everybody to get worked up about it because it's not going to be all that crazy. Now, Japan was crazy. I've seen some of the pictures of what's coming out of there. It's kind of crazy. But around here, it's not going to be that bad, especially for Southern California because we're hit by Santa Clara Island and all the islands out there. So they kind of make this natural break for us, but nothing really hits us all that bad. That's why we don't have some of the best surfing areas in California. So I think it's going to be that bad. There you go. Well, I appreciate the phone call. Thank you. You too. I feel better already. Yeah. Man, this is just, it's such a big, big tsunami that's hit Japan. And because we live in a day and age where most cell phones have video on them. What we're seeing is a lot of video of even the earthquake itself, which looked humongous. That was really scary. They showed the inside of a grocery store in Japan and just stuff rattling and falling everywhere, people freaking out. Well, the good thing is, I mean, not the good thing, but the silver lining is Japan's infrastructure is kind of set up to brace themselves for earthquakes. So it could have been a lot worse. Yeah, that's what they're saying about Hawaii, too. They're really, really prepared.
They're almost overly prepared for something like this. 8.9, you have to understand what an 8.9 is. First of all, with every point, it's 10 times bigger. And people don't realize that. The earthquake that hit, the World Series earthquake, do you remember that in 1989? Absolutely. It's called the Loma Prieta Quake. I was in the Bay Area when that one hit, and it was really, really bad. and terrible. Living in Northern California while I was growing up, earthquakes were a regular thing. But that was certainly the biggest earthquake I'd ever lived through. What was that on the Richter scale? Do you remember? 6.9. Holy cow. Now, some people, I remember that during and even now, some people will say that that earthquake was as big as 7.1. But whenever anybody asked me how big that earthquake was, I always say 6.9. Because that's what most news agencies reported it as. But the one that happened in Japan, 8.9. So what you have to realize is that that earthquake was 20 times larger than the earthquake that happened in San Francisco during the World Series. Unbelievable. It's a big earthquake. They're reporting 200 to 300 bodies found in Japan, Japanese coastal cities. It's just going to keep going up.
Oh, my God. Two to three hundred. That's insane. Now, I'm really wanting to talk to M1 Spider, who's in Tokyo. Yeah, for sure. And the reason that I do is I want to know a few things. First of all, what time is it? I know that Hawaii is three hours behind us, or two hours right now, but they will be three hours this weekend. I think it's Friday night in Japan right now. Is it really? Yeah. All right, so we'll get you all this information as it comes in. If you're just getting up right now. Big earthquake in Japan, about 200 miles out into the ocean, that caused a giant tsunami in Japan. Heavy, dense fog in San Diego, coastally this morning. You know, especially by the merge. Yeah. By the 5805 merge. Just heavy fog. I thought I was in a cloud. Yeah. I got lost. What? You got lost? I got lost coming to work. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I got lost. How's that? Wow. The ramp that I get on to get on the five was closed, which happens from time to time. What? Maybe every two weeks it's closed. So I'm like, oh, okay. I know the way down to the next one, the back roads. Next one's closed. I'm like, oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I'm running out of time. I'm running out of time. I then keep driving, and I see a sign that says freeway left. And I go, oh, okay. So I go up, and I'm driving up through these hills, and it's foggy.
It's so foggy. I'm like, where the hell am I? Where am I? Lost. Oh, wow. Was running stop signs. Didn't see. There were cars. Like, I could have, like, feasibly hit a car. Yeah. Well, that too, but. I had to turn on my TomTom to get back to the five. Do you think there was any bad words in Woods' car this morning? Oh, wow. Do you think there were any Sigs blasted real good just freaking out because I was running late that now? Welcome to Palm Springs. You're like, whoa, what? What happened? Where did I go? The kid was really on one this morning. That is true. Was he yelling at you, TomTom girl? He was shouting expletives that I cannot say on the radio. It was nice to finally get turned on for once, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you finally got to use TomTom. How about that? It was well needed and a great job this morning, TomTom. Thank you. You're welcome. iPad 2 goes on sale at 5 p.m. Happy birthday. Literally. Feast. How excited are you on a scale of 1 to 10? How excited are you? 8. That's it? What? I thought you were going to say 18. All this fuss and an 8? Yeah.
I mean, like a 10 is like your wedding or your child being born probably, right? Well, I mean, it's pretty high. No, I mean, I can get a 10 for Apple, but it would have to be like a new iMac or maybe a new iPhone. A new iPhone would get me to a 9.5, 10. 10. You're a complicated man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A new iPhone would get me to a 10. A new iMac would have me at a 9. A new iPad, about an 8. But it's exciting. Obviously. Are you going to leave your house this weekend? Probably not. You guys, there is so much. Okay, so you've got all this news that's going on with the tsunami, but there's also like wacky cops at the house stories with Charlie Sheen. Lindsay Lohan and cops. And there's, you know, crazy stories in terms of... Oh, by the way, never seen Two and a Half Men, never seen Pretty in Pink, but I'm now, I think, a John Cryer fan. Don't know if you know, Charlie Sheen called him a troll. Yeah. His, what would they call him? His co-star. His co-star, yeah. His co-star. Well, yeah, Charlie called him a troll. And last night on Conan, John Cryer responded to it.
It's hysterical. I'll play it for you next. Make some noise in here with our live studio audience. Welcome back. It's a Mikey show with a live studio audience. I'm going to get right to this phone call. We have M1 Spider on the line. Are you there, Spider? How you doing, Mikey? Good, dude. So you are in Tokyo right now? I'm in northwest Tokyo. How is it that there's no delay? It's just like, boom, we got you right away. Are you on a cell phone? What kind of phone are you on? I'm actually on the landline. That's just Japanese technology for you. That's nice. What are you doing in Tokyo? I'm actually on vacation. My wife is Japanese, and I'm here for two weeks visiting her family. I was actually headed back to San Diego tomorrow. Really? Don't know if that's going to happen now. Yeah. What time is it there? It is 11.35 p.m. 11.35 p.m., and it's Friday night? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, Friday night, yeah. It's Friday night, 11.35 p.m., and are you at a hotel? Where are you?
No, I'm actually at her house. Her parents. Yeah. Okay. And how far away from you, how far away are you from, like, sort of, I don't know what to call it, the epicenter? 8.9, more northern, 80 miles away from here. But we've definitely got one. I think it was registered locally. Oh, wow. Wow. Locally. Anything broken there at your wife's parents' house? Yeah. I mean, actually, not a lot of damage was done structurally. pictures off the wall. We had a few glass items break. Things happened. You know, I've lived here in Japan for five years before, you know, when I was in the Navy and living in San Diego now, of course, but a common occurrence, sitting here and, you know, minding my own business, like, oh, another earthquake, no big deal, but, and just would not stop. Finally went downstairs to meet my wife and her mother and her grandmother, and at that point, glass items started falling off the shelves and TV started to rattle. I mean, you could not stand.
It's 1135 in Japan right now. We're talking to M1 Spider, who's in Tokyo. You're in Tokyo? Tokyo. And what time did the earthquake happen locally? PM. Okay. Wow, so quite a while ago. Yeah, and then the next one was like 310. And that one was centered to Tokyo. That was actually a 7.5. Oh, wow. Another 7.5. And then after that, we had another 6.5. And then after that, we had a 5.3.0. I mean, we've been having earthquakes. Mikey, it's a constant 50. It's really rumbling through this. It feels like you're on a cruise ship. Yeah. It's really rocking back and forth to the point where you're looking at a glass of water constantly moving. It just doesn't stop.
What I remember about the earthquake, the Loma Prieta quake back in 89 was that I remember feeling nauseous because it messes with your equilibrium. Feel drunk. Yeah, you do. By the way, if when we're talking to you one happens that's audible, I would like to be able to hear it. Now, how far are you inland? From any type of tsunami. The town I'm in, if anybody ever wants to do it, the town that I'm in is called... Minami Urawa, up near Saitama City, Saitama Prefecture. All the video that you've been seeing on CNN and local TV stations and stuff like happening up north, and that's just been there. Now, do you speak Japanese? No, I do not. Okay, so I'm sure you're being filled in by the family. What are they telling people on television in terms of what to do?
Pay attention very quickly to the local government, the police, and the police need to leave. You need to leave immediately when something like that happens. Yeah. But for right now, it's shaking. Let's hear it. No. Gone. It's gone already. Okay. Yeah, just to say, they're just saying, you know, listen to your local government, do what you... M1 Spider's on the line with us from Tokyo, and so you were planning on flying back to San Diego tomorrow, but like you said, you don't know whether or not they're going to let you fly. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
But cars, taxis and stuff, cars are driving around? Yeah. People are leaving if they can? Yeah, if they go to taxis anymore. I mean, they're all gone. The taxis are gone. Buses are not running. There's a traffic jam pretty much everywhere you would look inside of Tokyo. It's just a massive wreck. Trains will not run probably until the morning. And honestly, I really don't know if I'm going to get out of here tomorrow. M1 Spider's on the line with us. He's in Tokyo. And I think it's the man-made... airport that's out in the middle of the water that they put out in the middle of the water. Is that Kansai Airport? No. That's in Hong Kong? No. Kansai. Yeah. Okay. No, we're in the airport. Okay. Got it. Well, hey, dude, you gave us a very unique perspective in terms of what happened. You know, the fact that you're seeing on TV up north is the most devastating part in the tsunami, the aftermath.
look at Tokyo, there's really not a lot of damage. A few, five damage was very minimal, and that just goes to show you how amazing Japanese engineering is. At the same time, the building's rolling and preventing damage in your pants. It scares the crap out of you. Yeah, I bet. I bet it does. I bet it does. Well, listen, man, thank you very much for Coming on the air with us and letting us know what's going on. Good luck getting home. Get home safely, man. Yeah, dude. All right, I'll let you go when I get back. There you go. That's good. All right, thanks a lot, man. We'll see you. Very unique perspective. I mean, the guy is there right now and in Japan and has a little bit of a perspective that we would never have. Maybe he earned himself a backstage pass with that call. I should hope so. For sure. So, anyway.
Today is going to be a play-it-by-ear type of day because the tsunami is such a big deal, it's kind of going to be taking over a lot of what we're doing today in terms of talking about it, giving you news as we're seeing it. We've got two TVs on right now. We've got NBC on. We also have CNN on, and so we're monitoring the both of them to make sure that everybody knows. We're going to be doing a new game at 7.30 called Let's, and today, let's fence. Why not? That's right. Woods, Jay, they'll be fencing. They'll just get stabbed at work. Oh, wow. Yes. Every day. Word of the day is biblioteca. Well done, Mike. Which means library. Correct. And at some point between now and 10, I will try to work the word biblioteca into a sentence. And then you call her nine. And today we're giving away that $125 in Arco gas cars. Winning. Yeah, that's right. Hey, speaking of Charlie Sheen, last night on Conan, John Cryer was on. And if you didn't know, John Cryer was attacked by Charlie Sheen and called a troll. Okay? And so John Cryer responded to that last night on Conan. Earlier this week.
In an interview, Charlie Sheen had some strong words for his former Two and a Half Men co-star John Cryer. Among other things, he called Cryer a troll. Yeah. Well, here to respond now to that comment is John Cryer. Pretty awesome. Those words were very painful to me for many reasons. Not the least of which is... I'm sorry, I can't even believe I'm saying this. The fact is, I am a troll. It's not something I like to talk about. My parents don't even know I'm a troll. Of course, I guess they do now. The truth is, there's not a lot of tolerance for people like me, especially in Hollywood.
To avoid ignorance and bullying, I've had to hide the fact that I'm a troll. I have no idea how much time and money I've spent on electrolysis and hair dye and reconstructive surgery so that I can look like this instead of this. There are a lot of misconceptions about trolls. That we drink the morning dew from buttercups. That is so not true. And we don't bake cookies in trees. That's elves, okay? Let's get this straight, people. You know, for the last time, okay, we're the guys who dangle from little girls' backpacks and sit on the end of pencils, damn it. That's right. You think that's funny, do you, Mike? Yeah, I think it's kind of funny, Charlie. The guy's an idiot. The guy's not an idiot. I mean, he's making a light of the situation. He's taking something that you did that was mean and he's turning it into something funny. He's not a warlock.
No, I know. You're a warlock. I am a warlock. You're a warlock. He's a loser. I'm a winner. Okay. You've said that. Winner. Winner. You've said that. You've said it a million times. You've said it actually too many times. Winning. All right. Freaking troll. Let's see. Now, anybody hear about the viral video? The viral Charlie Sheen video? Oh, yeah. Funny or die? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. It was a thing of him cooking. Have you heard about it? Yeah. Have you heard about it? Huge yesterday. It was... I didn't see it until this morning. Now, I have a theory on it, and I'll give you the theory. But first, take a listen to a little bit of it. Hello, I'm Charlie Sheen. And this is Charlie Sheen's Winning Recipes. Yes, I'm doing a cooking show. Why? Because if you haven't noticed, I'm winning television right now. He's in his kitchen. He's in his kitchen, and he's wearing an apron that says winning. My plan is to be the first person to have made an appearance on every television network. Just like I was the first person to get one million. Got on a little chef hat. With tiger stripes on it. Tiger stripes. Oh, wow. In 24 hours. Like I was the first to build my own rocket ship to Cassiopeia using only my mind tools. Here I come, Food Network. Face it. I am living the life of a rock star Vatican assassin.
And if you eat like me, you can be like me. If you aren't thinking about what you're putting in your body, plan better. The first decision you have to make is which kitchen to use. The indoor kitchen, so it's in the comfort zone, or the outdoor kitchen. To explain, in my opinion, Charlie's got managers. He's got publicists. Well, he fired us. Publicists quit, right? Publicists quit. He's got a manager. He's got people that give him advice, whatever. My feeling is they were like, listen, we got to do something with this guy's career, you know, lest we completely lose it. And so I think the best way to do that is to kind of make a joke out of it, to make to actually poke fun at himself, be self-deprecating, that kind of deal. Obviously sounds very prepared, like he's reading and acting, and when you watch it, you can see that that's a deal, too. And so it seems like kind of a smart move in terms of, like, how do you deaden it? You say that it's, you know, you kind of engage it, you know? But it made me out on him now. It did? It was almost like one thing when the stuff was just flying out of his mouth, and you're like, where do you come up with this stuff? But watching him, like, prepare those wacky statements, I'm like, eh.
Hawking winning shirts and aprons and tiger's hats. I think it's all a bit. I do too. That's a bit. I think it all has been. This is a bit. But I don't think that the drugs and the hookers and the girls and the erratic talk and I don't think that all that's a bit because it's caused a lot of pain. I think he wanted out of his contract with two and a half men because he was tired of doing it and he's like. How can I do this? I can't break the contract. I've signed. I'm just going to be as crazy as possible. Go on a bender. Go on a bender. I'm more on that train now. I'm serious. He was in an Australian radio interview. Did you hear about this? Uh-uh. And he basically admitted, like, yeah, he said you have to go into performance art. It wasn't like I was really believing that you, if it's a drug called Charlie Sheen, if you take it, your face is going to melt off. Like, he's saying he's overdoing everything. You know, for a bit. I never said that. It is a drug and it is called Charlie Sheen. It is? Yeah. And I'm high on Charlie Sheen. Okay. Understandable. But where do you get Charlie Sheen? From Charlie Sheen. Hello. So you're the only one that can take it. Hello. Okay. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi. Charlie. Now, are you... So you're the only one that can take the Charlie Sheen. Hello. What's my name? Charlie Sheen. What's your name? Mikey. Can you take...
Charlie Jean? No. You can take Mikey. I can take Mikey. Just feast on that. Yeah, okay. I feasted. Now, your face isn't melting. See mine? It's melting. It's melting. You couldn't handle me. You will melt. Okay. There'd be a little brown puddle on the ground. A little tiny brown Mexican puddle of Mikey if I took Charlie Jean. Exactly. It's too powerful. Yeah. Your kids would be crying over you, standing over you. All right. Well, that's the viral video. He's nuts. I think he's nuts. I don't think it's a thing. I don't think it's a conspiracy theory. I don't think it's any of that stuff. I think he's got coke brain, dude. After 30 years of banging coke, you know, I mean, he's done. Mixed with a little theatrics, but I think more coke brain. This is me not on drugs, bro. I'm going to hang out with these two smoking hotties. That makes my skin crawl. Smoking. With my brain. The other big deal is that Charlie was definitely busy last night, right? Yes, he was. The police raided his house to search for weapons. Now, there's a restraining order against him from his ex, Brooke Mueller. And when you have a restraining order, you can't have weapons on you. And so someone had said something. The police had heard of it. They raided his house. They found bullets and an antique gun. He was not arrested. He actually cooperated. Police said that he was, you know, really, really.
great, actually. And that's his thing. He says that when those cops come, he's very cooperative. He lets them do what they need to do. And actually, Charlie immediately got on Twitter, weird, and he tweeted, the LAPD were awesome, absolute pros. They can protect and serve this warlock any time. Oh my God. Yes. I'm telling you. Guy knows what he's doing. Yeah, the LAD got word that he is a registered owner of Firearms, so that's why they went over there. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. So, Jay, do you believe that the Brooke Mueller stuff is a bit, like, is she in on it? No, I think, unfortunately, that there are some repercussions of what he's doing. Yeah. But he'll keep fighting the fight all the way through. I mean, he's definitely a weirdo, but I don't think he's necessarily done anything wrong. Yeah, it makes me sad. I mean, he has five kids. If it says a bit, it affects your kids and your family. I don't think that, well, no, I can't say that he hasn't done anything wrong because he had the kids the whole time he was doing the weird stuff. Not the whole time, but custody, yeah. Yeah, shared custody. Yeah, I mean, having porn stars in your house and, you know, with your kids around, that's not really good. Right. I wouldn't advise that. And the thing is, is Jay's right in that he's...
For the most part, you know, he hasn't done anything wrong except sort of hurt himself. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Even in the video, there's a scene in that video where he grabs a glass of wine and he goes to drink it. But right before it gets to his lips, you know, it cuts away. I guess it's left up to the viewer whether or not he would have really drank it. Titillating. And he says, it's not wine. It's dinosaur fossils. And he's just chain smoking in the video. It's crazy. Also yesterday, he filed a $100 million lawsuit against Warner Brothers and Chuck Lorre yesterday. And he's demanding payment for eight episodes of Two and a Half Men that were canceled this season and also payment for the cast and crew. He might win for himself. Just pay the guy. Get it over with. But he wants to take care of the cast and crew first. I'm last. I told you. I'm last. You're going to pay me last. 100 million? Yeah. Chuck Lorre has hundreds of millions of dollars. He's one of the richest men in TV. All right. We've heard many reasons why people often break up with people. This one's going to make you laugh, and we will play it for you when we get back. But first, let's make some noise with our live studio audience. Yeah. Metallica concert, isn't it? I know it does. Don't forget.
The time is going to change this weekend. Daylight savings is this weekend. And so we will be springing forward this weekend. Just wanted to let you know. It's not good for me and guys like you and I. We lose sleep. You lose sleep and it's lighter, longer, and we don't really go outside much. Summer is nice. I'm looking forward to the lightness, just not the lack of sleepness. That's right. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, I just thought you guys would want to know. Representative Gabrielle Giffords does plan on attending her husband's launch next month. He's going up in the space shuttle Endeavor, and she will be there by his side. She's going to be there. Laying on a hospital bed on wheels. L.O.B. Come on. Someone else lift up her thumb for her. Listen. He's following his dreams. Go get it, honey. His whole life he's trained for this. He's the commander of this space shuttle. Is he? Yes, he's going to be in command. Is he? Actually, he is. Also, if you're just waking up, you haven't watched the news, a big magnitude 8.9 earthquake has struck Japan.
hours ago, about eight hours ago, and aftershocks happened, keep happening, and also a tsunami, 13-foot tsunami followed. Oh, my. Now the tsunami has hit Hawaii, Alaska, and California. If you're beneath Santa Barbara, for us in San Diego, we're under a tsunami advisory, which means don't go in the water. North of Santa Barbara, they're under a tsunami warning, which means stay off the coast. Let's see. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Sports Today is brought to us by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some. There you go. Well, I'm going to start with a little basketball today. There was a pretty good NBA game last night that I actually watched. I don't watch a lot of NBA. It was the Lakers against the Heat. Now, the Lakers had won eight straight. The Heat had lost five straight. Bill Jackson had come out kind of poking fun at the Heat. They had a couple guys crying in the locker room, and he said there's no crying in basketball. It's not a little boys league. Well, the Lakers got beat by the Heat last night, and they lost 94-88. Dwayne Wade is talking about the win after the game. Cut one. You know, it feels good to win a game the way you've been losing a game. We knew this game was going to come down the end.
You know, just like the last couple games that we've lost here at home, especially. We had to figure out a way and find a way. And we did that. You know, we made plays at the end to win a game. I just have a quick observation that I noticed last night. I'm sure you noticed, too. And I don't know if you know the answer to it. Yeah. But on the jerseys, it said El Heat. Yeah, and Los Lakers. On the jerseys and Los, no, Los Angeles Lakers. Yeah, Los Angeles. Like, El Heat? That's not even Spanish. They did that last year. They do those heritage nights to try to get people to come out, you know? El Caliente, maybe? Yeah. El Heat. That doesn't even make sense. Los Lagos. Like, what? It's pretty awesome. The whole time I was staring at it, like, this is driving me nuts. El Heat. Yeah. And also, you guys, big win for San Diego State last night in the Mountain West Conference Tournament. They won 64-50 over Utah in the quarterfinals, so they are on a roll. Oh, wow. Yeah. There you go. Props to those guys. We are going to be having Mexican food this morning. I just call it food. Call it food, dude. That's right. I'll call you. We are going to be having food. That's right. If you don't know how to speak Spanish, go down to your local biblioteca and check it out for yourself. Spanish English Dictionary. Let me get a book on tape. That's right. You're going to be really good at Spanish in about...
Four to six years. That's true. As long as we keep doing the Spanish word of the day. Just one vocab word at a time. That's right. He doesn't even remember yesterday's, though, so I don't know. It's so true. Monsana, that was yesterday's. I'm Mikey, that's Woods, that's L-O-B, that's Sienna. Jay is our producer, and our phone screener is Cross. It's Cross! Oh, wow. Uh-oh. Let's see. We have M1 Apple Freak at Fashion Valley right now. Are you there, Apple Freak? Yeah, I'm here. And is there a line? Yeah, there is. There's only eight people in line, though. Not bad. But, I mean, it's going to be, you know, an evening release. 5 p.m. 5 p.m. for the release of the new iPad 2. And are you the first in line? Yeah, yeah. Whoa. But you guys didn't believe me. But, yeah, I got here at 9 p.m. And the second guy got here at 3 a.m. So I guess, you know, that's six hours for nothing. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Are you in a lawn chair? Am I in a lawn chair? Yeah. You are. I didn't sleep in that thing last night. Oh, yeah. Sure. Woods, you got a question? What do you do all day? Ten more hours. Ten more hours. What are you going to do for ten hours?
I don't know. I'm just trying to save the battery life on my iPhone. I turn down all the settings, and so I'm just trying to stretch out, like, watching Netflix and that thing, like, periodically. Do you want me to bring you, like, a sandwich or something when we get out of here? Yes, for sure. I may do that. Well, you have to now. You just offered it. Well, I may do it. I may go get some audio of those clowns over there online today, maybe. I'll eat them. Yeah. No, there will be a lot. There's eight already. It's seven. 8.08 in the morning. Wait until noon. I'll get you next time. What? You monster. I just remembered. I got to go get my new house today. Sorry. Oh, my gosh. I'll get you next time, though. Can Mikey get cutsies? No. That's what I'm saying. Hey, so you don't have a plan, bro? You're not like, you don't have somebody set up to get you food or anything? What if you have to go to the bathroom? Right now, the bathroom's closed, so I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just kind of holding it in or looking for a bush. You're supposed to wear the pens. Yes, she's supposed to wear the pens. Like Jay. I asked her if she didn't cut in, and she said it was cool. Wow. When they cut in later on. Well, I appreciate that, bro. I appreciate that. Yeah, I will be getting the Apple iPad 2. Are you going to get it in white or black? White.
Yeah, I want to be able to know the difference between the new one and the old one. Jake's going to have my old one. Jake is four. Yeah, he uses it like crazy. 30 minutes a day. He does. If he's good. If he's a good boy, he gets it for 37 minutes a day. Crazy. So out of control. Good thing you have two. Hey, thanks for the call, Apple Freak. No problem, guys. Appreciate it. Yeah, somebody put on my Facebook wall a few days ago. That autism, you know, kids with autism are helped by the iPad because my son Jake is autistic. And there was a picture on the thumbnail of this article of this little black autistic boy using the iPad. And I wrote, hello, boo. It's this really serious article. And I look, I go, oh, that's nice. And then it says. L-O-B. The little black boy. That's right. I started dying. That's right. 570-1949 is our phone number, or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. M1, Tony from Chula Vista. What was the word of the day? It is biblioteca. There you go. That was strong.
There you go. Thank you very much. Now, Jay, he is in the running now, and we'll do the drawing later on, right? Yes, sir. We'll do the drawing later on to see who wins the $125 worth of gift cards to Arco. So hang on the line, okay? Okay. All right, bro. Big news this morning is the tsunami that hit Japan. They're expecting that we will get big waves here in California. And so they are telling people, though, stay out of the water. It's dangerous. These are bigger waves that have a much... They're stronger. They're much stronger with much more powerful force. Percentage of chance that some idiot goes out there and gets themselves hurt. Some? There's going to be plenty of them. A bunch of them? I think you're looking at one. I just talked to Bird, who does our surf report, and I said, hey, Bird, what do you really think? He's like, do not go in the ocean. That's what I was thinking. I didn't want to say it because I'm like, I'm thinking to myself, well, I'm not a surfer. These guys know more. But I'm thinking to myself, I think it's dum-dums that are going to be out there. I mean, truly.
Stupid people will go out there because they think, I'm a man. Honestly, yeah. The best surfers, I think, know not to. And it's the ones that are trying to be like, oh, I'm a good surf. I'm tough. There are times when Bird and other reports will say, only go out there if you are a professional level. And even Bird is saying, do not go out no matter what level. Yeah. It's a tsunami, and it's got a little bit more force to it. Maybe I'll just watch some TV tomorrow. Like a concrete wall of water. Take it to the house. It's a good excuse to sit on the couch. I'll come over and look at the new iPad 2. There you go. There you go. Did you have a question about it? You were starting to raise your hand about the iPad 2. I don't think so. No, the question I had was, what do you do in line for 18 hours just to get an iPad 2? You know if he waited until tomorrow, he could just walk right in and get one. No, it'd probably be gone. Yeah, they run out of inventory and you've got to wait until the next shipment comes in. So like Wednesday. I can't believe you have to wait. Yep. Wow. Yes. So rough. Tuesday, Wednesday. That's true. And I know how ridiculous that sounds. I know that. But what? It would be like if a new Copenhagen came out. I mean, you'd be in line for 18 hours. You know it. I wouldn't. You couldn't wait. I wouldn't. Okay.
Let's say Jenna Jameson came out of retirement and she made a new video. There, you would be there, of all people. You'd probably sleep overnight waiting for that thing. I wouldn't. You would not? The only thing I can honestly think of. Donuts? Donuts. Yankees. You know that. Something like Yankees World Series tickets, okay? Or like a Led Zeppelin reunion. Seriously. And I'd be like, all right, I got to see that. What if Jeter was in town to sign books? No. I've met him before once. Easy. Easy big time. I met him once. What if Jeter was in town and giving away free butterfly kisses? Yeah, I might do. All right. We got a text from M1 Anonymous. We have a lot of M1 Anonymouses. Yes. You know, you could just make up a name and no one would know. Right. Same thing. Well, it kind of in context makes sense because his question is. Am I a monster because I want to break up with someone because they've had the same toothbrush for what seems like four years? She's got great teeth, good breath, but it's gross. Let's discuss, like, ladies and gentlemen here. Yeah, right. Now, what we're talking about here is the bristles that go out to the side, you know? Oh, yeah. The toothbrush is, like, flat. Seen them. Flattened out. A couple people have...
Guilty looks in here. A couple of people have guilt. No, no, no. Because I thought it was a guilty laugh. Oh, somebody does. Somebody does. Old toothbrush. How old? Yell it. Is that your girlfriend or wife? She's embarrassed. She just put her hand over her face like, oh, gosh, you're telling the story. Wait, say again. It's fantastic. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah, see, you know, they lose their charm. Yes. They lose their effectiveness. Their effectiveness. Well. Shape. Shape. Yeah. Not effectiveness. Don't they? Because if the bristles are off to the side, they're not going in between the teeth. But you can. Oh, wow. You can turn it to the side. Turn it to the side. Listen, he said good breath, great teeth. So it's working. It obviously works. It's working.
His question is, if I break up with her and I'm a monster, the answer is yes. Yeah, I don't think it warrants a breakup. He's asking himself, though, can I live with this? It grosses me out to the point where it grosses me out. I think it warrants a discussion. What are you, Jerry Seinfeld? Yeah, I know. Get over yourself. I'm just saying. Why not buy a whole bunch of toothbrushes? Maybe they live together. It's been a while. Or he spends a night there or something. And just bring a whole bunch. You're like, oh, look, I got these. How about saying, hey, babe? Why don't you throw that nasty thing in the garbage? I got you a fresh one. Not everyone can say stuff like that, though. Or just, would he even clean toilets with that? That's what it looks like, probably. Yeah. What's the deal when a girl won't throw a toothbrush at you? What's the deal with that? Hey, listen. Not that there's anything wrong with it. I'm just saying. Maybe throw it away. Why do you have it? It's too old. It's a too old toothbrush. It's a T-O-T. Everyone knows the T-O-T. Get out. It's a T-O-T. It's a T-O-T. It's a too old toothbrush. Oh, man. That would creep me out, yeah. It's bad, but like, now listen, if she's got butter teeth or something, I get it. It's disgusting. Butter teeth. That's disgusting. It's the same with the girls that have a hairbrush and it's just filled with hair. It's like, it takes two seconds.
Do we know the hair? It's just hair. That's all. It's just hair. It's my hair. Yeah, it's your hair. It's gross. All right. CNN talking about the tsunami that is at this point probably made its way through the Hawaiian Island chains. It is a very big deal. Dave, let's go ahead. Let me show you what's going on here. The wave came in. We know that there are three. Three waves that came in all the way here from across. Kauai, here's Honolulu, and there's the bay. There's Kahului, right there. You wouldn't even expect this to get anything. It's pronounced Kahului. Yeah. It's kind of in a little valley, and the wave came this way. But look at the wave, up and down the whole wave. Went up first. Sometimes you think about, we talked about this, but the old tsunami back in 2004, how the water went down first. This water did not go down first. This is a positive wave initially, which means that the wave goes up first, then goes down, and then back up. That's what it looks like. I know it's a raw looking map, but this is what the NOAA National Weather Service is giving us right now. The normal wave shouldn't be doing any up and down a foot.
All of a sudden here in that bay that I showed you in Hawaii, the water went up six feet, then down six feet, then up seven feet. So a total of a 13 foot up and down. Oh, wow. Back down, and now it's back up again. So this is not just one wave. This is a series now of three so far that are just as big. They're all about the same, all about six feet right there. So if you see one wave in California, you say, oh, it's over. No, it is not. That wave is going to go back out. Another one is right behind it 20 minutes later. It's going to go out, and another one is behind it 20 minutes later. This is a long-term event, and people need to be literally away from the shore. There's nothing more to say than that. You said something that, of course, caught our attention here, that this is a big deal, that this might be in the lifetime of people along that coast the biggest event. How do we know that? It hasn't happened yet. It has not happened yet, but we have not had an 8.9 earthquake. in Japan that moves the water up. What happens, the animation kind of showed that, but I didn't have time. I didn't see it. There's a subduction zone. There's dirt. There's crust down below Japan. Then there's another plate that is this plate moving this way. What happens is that the plates are moving down. All of a sudden, there's so much strain on the two plates as they go. This is not a California quake that slides. This is a quake that pops. This dirt, this crust of the earth popped up, and that...
Popping up. Pushed all the water. He's too excited. He's way excited. A lot of peas popping. Maybe just settle down, dude. Perfect. Pop. Look how you have it paused. That's perfect. We should take a picture of that face. Yeah, he looks really, yeah, manic. Maybe don't cheer on a tsunami. Exactly. Yeah. Maybe don't pretend like it's in a World Series. Maybe don't throw a pep rally when a tsunami happens. Hey, hey, take it away. Take that wave and take it away. Both ways. Obviously, it went to Japan first because it was closest, but it's been traveling across the Pacific Ocean and it's heading to the U.S. I could easily see Crescent City getting that eight-foot wave moving all the way into the city itself. There's the wave itself. It keeps on going. It has a lot of... It's easy, bro. I mean, it sounds like Godzilla is headed towards... No kidding. Take it easy. Doomsday predictions or something? Sienna? And just so you know, the tsunami's supposed to hit Southern California here in San Diego. No, no, no, no. We've got to be really clear about that. What? Southern California?
A wave is. A wave. Because there's a big difference between a tsunami. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Southern California, they're saying it's going to be hitting between 8 and 9 p.m. today. A.m. A.m. Yeah, we have a tsunami advisory. A.m.? A.m., which means we have a tsunami advisory, which means that the waves are supposed to be a few feet tall. Now, we've already said that. Surfers don't go in the water. No one go in the water because it's not the height. It's the strength of the wave. And so between 8 and 9 a.m. today. Not just a small little peak like this that you would kind of go body surfing in. It is a mass of water that's miles long. So think about an eight-foot wave that just keeps coming and keeps coming and keeps coming. All right, guys. You're freaking me out. I mean, stop, because it's creeping me out. That's the threat, that it's not just right five feet from where the shore is.
This could go for a half a mile inland, depending on the topography. The ladies in the newsroom are like, listen, pal, you don't have to sell us. We get it. It's powerful. Stop selling it. You don't understand. This could potentially be very strong. I got it. Okay, I believe you. Melissa? I believe you. Listen to me. I'm listening, you jackhole. You're yelling, Melissa. You're screaming about the tsunami. Hang on. I get it. It could end up. Okay, I buy that. I buy that. Just settle down. Can we cut his mic? Just turn him off. Fred, take camera one off. There is quite a range of what could happen. We believe you. Yeah, let's go camera two. Camera two. Can we just do a good camera two? Can back to the disaster picture? Just leave it on those two broads if they wanted to. Oh, wow, Woods. That's got creepy. It could be small. It could be large. There is a certain amount, of course. It's a professional newswoman. Oh, I'm sorry. We could just keep it on those two broads. One of them is very pretty. It's a tsunami. One of them. Is Santa ever hard on... The other one looks exactly like Rumor Willis. Oh, wow. Oh, you're right. You are a thousand percent right. Wait a minute. Sorry, Rumor. That is Rumor Willis. Would you say is their best guidance for someone who is maybe in Crescent, maybe in this area or in other parts of California, how far is Lind or how high up they should go to ensure that they will be safe as they're watching us now and preparing for... I would say...
Get on a... Palm tree. If you can get to the top of a palm tree immediately, if you've got any kind of scaffolding or if you've got a ladder. Now, to our viewers that can't get to a palm tree, just tell them a logical thing. No, no, no, no, no. If you can't get to a palm tree, rent, and I mean immediately, rent some sort of trampoline. Your mic's a little hot. Where you can jump on a trampoline. And then if you can jump from the trampoline on the top of the house, that's the best thing you can do. down so you need whatever may come their way well it's impossible to tell because every basin is different the topography under every basin yeah yeah um fred
We're in commercial now. What we're going to do is we're going to switch you to decaffeinated coffee. We're going to have you do decaffeinated coffee until the end of the newscast. Until the end of the new year. He's doing his job. I don't want decaffeinated coffee. I don't want it. I don't like the taste of it. Plus, it doesn't get me as peppy as the regular coffee. We'll switch out his coffee. Why did you have to bring it up? Don't even tell him. Just do it. Can I get a couple more glasses of coffee? I mean like a flower vase. It can be sharp. It can be shallow. It can be just a beach. And that crescent-shaped beach would be the worst place to be. And you need to be far away from that. Oh, boy. Because that would funnel all the way. Far away like Scottsdale. To the point of that crescent beach, Crescent City. And then that water would just keep running offshore. Hence the name. Yeah, Crescent. If you are on a... cliff face on the shores of Oregon. Literally, you could be on top of the cliff 300 to 500 feet higher than the shore and watch it safely from there. And that would only be a quarter mile inland or more. Does he have the movie Independence Day on a monitor somewhere near him? He's got it on Blu-ray. It's on his laptop right now.
There are spaceships at the White House right now. He has a door next to him like Leo and Kate on Titanic. Exactly. Just in case you float on it. You're like, dude, you don't need the door. You don't need the door. The water literally could keep going and not just splash up against the big bluff and splash back. You need to be a mile away from the shore at least. Shut up. Preferably 60 miles from here. Is he talking about? The California coast? I believe so. Yes, but more above that Santa Barbara line. North of Santa Barbara is where they have the tsunami warning. Telling people where to go. The sirens are going off. We're talking about it here on the East Coast. The West Coast, they know about it. They've known about it a long time. Do you think that the producers are like, listen, pal, when you go on, sound frantic. They're standing behind them, giving them the... Energy of more. Use your arms. Use your arms. They're holding like big signs that say, more dramatic. More, more. We need more. More. Think Alec Baldwin in Gary Glenn Ross. Think that. More, more. Sell, sell. Yeah. Think the OxyClean guy. Yes. They write. May he rest in peace. They write on their OxyClean guy. Too soon question. Aww.
Go to the Twitter deck and you can watch all the tweets coming down. We're running. We're going. We're going. We're going. And they're going as fast as they can. Literally, people are fleeing. Ever just create panic? Get out! Get out! He's doing a good job. He's over the top. He's calming down. But listen, we're listening and we're like, oh man, we gotta get ready. You know what it is? He's got a very calming effect, I think. I think it's like the inflection in his voice that's really doing it for me. How do you think he acts when he's stuck in traffic? Holy cow. Get out of my way! How do you think he acts coaching his son's little league game? Okay? Something like that. How do you think he acts when he's talking to his wife on the phone and she told him that she forgot to make dinner that night? How do you think he acts if he's in a restaurant and they bring him the wrong order? I said chicken cordon bleu. This isn't even chicken. If there's any good thing about this, Chad, it's that there is a little bit of warning for the people. He's not a Chad.
Of course he doesn't look like a Chad. He's a Bert. He looks like a Bert. Of course he's a Bert or Fred. He looks like a Ramon. Easy, Chad. Nine hours of warning. There's no excuse. And Chad and Kate, in fact, when we look at the initial estimated arrival times for the tsunami waves, we have them all around eight. I'm changing his name. He's Ronaldo Perez. From this moment on, from this moment on, he is Ronaldo Perez. I was going to go with Burt Dinkums is what I was going to say. Burt Dinkums. Burt Dinkums or Ronaldo Perez. We're watching CNN right now. So around 11-something here in the East. Okay, you're telling me that that's Burt Dinkum over Ronaldo Perez? Yes. We are watching. Thank you so much, Chad. Thank you, Chad. Ronaldo, Dinkum, Perez. Bert. Bert. Well, he certainly got everybody riled up, that's for sure. He got my attention. Yeah. 5701949 is our number if you want to give us a call. If you're just tuning in and you haven't heard, there was an 8.9 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Japan and it caused a tsunami. And now it's moving the opposite direction. It's already passed through the Hawaiian Island chains.
Heading towards California, they say it should hit the California coast sometime between 8 and 9 a.m. However, here in Southern California, they're not expecting a tsunami. What they're expecting is high, powerful waves. And they say, stay out of the water. This is not a situation to surf in. Right. They're calling it a tsunami advisory. Yeah. Don't be thinking that you're going to surf in this stuff. Stay out of the water, please. All right, when we come back, we're going to do a new game called Let's. So cool. And today, let's fence. How about that? Let's do it. Woods will be fencing. You just looked at the ceiling. Why do I feel like Jay has fenced before? Oh, because he has. 0% chance he's never fenced. He's probably caught a class. Oh, me and my buddies used to fence. Of course. Yeah, hell yeah. I'll do anything with a fence. I'll build a fence. I'll actually do a fence. I fed Jasper a fence one time. We didn't have any friends. Jasper. We'll be back. Man, is that good. Oh, my. Thank you. What's that? I'm in heaven. It's so good. Thank you to El Pollo Grill. Mm-hmm.
They do broiled chicken. They do Mexican food. I just call it food. Eating. I just call it eating. They're located in Lemon Grove, and they are San Diego's best open flame broiled chicken. So good. And you can find them online, elpoyogrill.com, and they're located on Broadway in Lemon Grove, and they're really, really good. We are set to do our first game. of Let's. Jay came up with this idea. He said, how about if we do something called Let's, and the idea is that we do Let's Fence, and every week we'll do something different. Let me get these guys in here. Hey, Ted and Sergei, come on in. Let's talk to you guys. Let's talk to us, Mike. Yeah, so first of all, you guys are from Team Touche Fencing Center, right? That's right. We're out in Sorrento Valley. Nice. And you guys teach
anybody from four years old and older how to fence. Now, here's my question for you. Fencing is an Olympic thing. I mean, they do this in the Olympics. If they start teaching, oh my gosh, Sienna just saw Woods and Jay. Seriously, they have full fencing get-ups on. What do you call those masks? That would be a mask. Well, I didn't know that. Very clever. Silver. Easy, comedian. Wow. I posted a picture of them online. You can see a picture of them at Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. The noise we just heard, by the way. The noise that we just heard is an audible deal at the end of the sword, right? Right. It's actually visual, too. So there's a button on the end of the sword. You push it in on the other guy's grill or on his chest or his hand or anywhere you want. Yeah. Then you get a point. First person to hit wins. It's like a glorified game of tag. Did you teach them anything right now? Barely. But they seem like they're ready to hit each other in the face. I'm excited. There's no doubt about it. Now, OK, so let me go back to what I was asking you, because it says, you know, you do this.
And you can find you guys online, teamtouché.com. You teach anybody from four and up. So my question is, could you start teaching a person how to do this and get them to the point, if they have talent and ability, to where they could be doing this in the Olympics? Let's say, for instance, that there's a dad. He's watching the Olympics. He goes, that looks like a badass sport. And he wants his son to grow up to be an Olympic fencer. Would you be the people to call to get their kid in as soon as possible and as young as possible? Absolutely. I mean, we get them in at 10 years old sometimes. I definitely have some Olympic hopefuls already. I have a student who's making top eight in the country now, so he's trying to make a world team. So it's all coming together in San Diego. I feel like we're really putting San Diego on the map because our guys are real competitive and our kids are shredding. Okay, so question. What does it take in order to be good at this particular sport? Is it hand-eye coordination? Is it speed? What areas of your person do you need to have finely honed? Moms and dads, if you're an engineer, bring us your child because we want them to fence.
We need intellectual athletes, and that's really what it's about because you have to psych out the other person and then hit them and make them feel bad about themselves. We're real aggressive at our club. We like to compete. We like to win. And then if you're four, let's just go have a good time and play with some foam swords. But what is it that you have to be good at? Geometry? Do you have to be good at? When somebody has a talent at this, what is the talent in? How about rock, paper, scissors? How about I can outguess you because I've seen what you do so many times that I can come up with a quick counter move and then hit you. Almost like chess. A bit like chess, but way more high tempo, like fast pace. Track athletes do really well in fencing as long as they're kind of smart. All right. Are they ready to fence? Oh, God, yeah, they're ready. Woods was doing something with his sword. Obviously, he's going to do that. Yes, yes, yes. It's on. Somebody test that mic. We're on right now? Yep, yep, I can hear you. So what are you going to do? Are you going to coach them? Yeah. They both got on these big white...
foam chest protectors. They've got the silver swords in their hands. You know, it looks like Camelot. And they've got on the wire mesh mask. And, you know, the padding around the neck is very thick, obviously, so that they don't get stabbed in the throat. And are you going to tell them what to do? You know what? We don't really have to. You just let them go for it. These guys have been staring each other down for at least 10 minutes. They're totally pumped. You can see the venom dripping from their claws. They've just done a salute to show a little respect to each other. Now, wait. Question. When you're fencing, do you get a certain amount of time? Like, is there a time limit? Yeah, you know, there's different formats. But let's say three minutes and the first to five points win. If these guys lag and they don't fence very much, one person might win 1-0 after the time runs out. Okay, because I don't want to go for five full minutes here. Three minutes. Three minutes. It's going to be like 30 seconds. These guys are just going to charge each other and hit each other. It's going to be easy. Okay. How do you start them? I'm going to say on guard, and that means they have to point their swords at each other. On guard. Because we're not going to be hitting the ceiling. Okay.
We point the swords at each other. They were pointing their swords at the ceiling. Yep. Coach Surrogate and I are going to step back because I'm scared of these beginners. Yeah. And then they're going to try and poke each other like civilized people. So I'm going to say, on guard, ready, fence. They're, you know, fencing like normal. I would say Woods is more aggressive. Oh, wow. Woods just got stabbed by Jay. You have to stop for a second. My God. I think Steve is foaming at the mouth right now. Steve scored. It is 1-0. Woods. Now, wait a minute. I have a question. I heard a lot of beeping, so how was there only one score?
There was just one beep, but what you heard was a lot of slashing with the blades. Okay. Kind of like beginners like to do. And then instead of just jabbing at each other, I'm not trying to be mean. But they're doing really well. They're lunging pretty far. They're pretty athletic guys. I just can't wait to see the second touch. So wait a minute. You're saying that Woods is the only guy that touched another dude? Come on! Come on, Joe Fenzer! Okay, let them go. They're full of testosterone. There's one point, Mikey. That's right. Go ahead. Ready, fence. Okay, they're slashing each other's blades. Oh, that was nice. Jay came in with a straight attack and just popped him right on the hand. That was a nice touch. Did it hurt, Woods? No. Okay. He likes it. He likes the pain. On guard. Ready. Fence. I'm seriously scared for my life. Okay, Steve's now getting worked. I've got to coach him up a little bit. Oh, dude, you've got to block and then hit, bro. Okay, block with the blade. You've got a giant sword. Like, block with it and then hit. Okay, because he's just going straight at you. On guard. Ready. Fence. Oh, my God. Yeah, now hit him.
Block and then hit him. Yeah, now hit him. There you go. That was a sweet touch. Okay, my pony has now tied it up 2-2. Steve is winning. Coach Sergey, you guys are going down. Jay, you're going down. Okay, on guard. Ready. Fence. Oh, wow. Jay went for the legs. Point your tip at him. Point your tip at him. Oh, my gosh. No. Okay. Jay scores again. The score is 3-2. On guard. Ready. Fence. Hit him, not the blade. Halt. There's a nice touch. What's he got in there right away? He beat the blade out of the way and then scored on the arm. That was a sweet touch. On guard. Ready. Fence. Oh, my God. He just whacked the coffee mate. Oh, my. A nice lunge from Jack. Oh, wow. That was great, Jake. You've got to be kidding me. He hits you right in the chest. You can't cheat, Steve. You always have to tell Steve that, by the way. He goes ballistic, boss. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, he does. On guard. Ready. Fence. The score is 3-4.
His back's against the wall. Halt. Another nice touch on the arm. So it looks like Steve's specialty is hitting on the arm because he can aim. Scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has. It's four to four. In French, we call this la belle. Oh, it's la belle. It means the beautiful because it's sudden death, and I guess French people think that sudden death is beautiful. Plus Patti LaBelle. These guys actually did not plan this. They've been going each other's jugular the whole time. This is the last touch. Do or die. On guard. Ready. Thanks. Oh, my God. Dude, he just almost hit Coach Sergey. Oh, there's a touch on the leg. Jay has been destroyed. Wow. Steve is the victor. Wow. A cheap shot by Jay afterwards does not count. What day? Let's hear it for you guys. Wow, they're shaking hands. They're shaking hands. I would like to ask him something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. How many students would you say you have? About 100 families at the club. But over the course of how many years, how many students have you had personally come through? I've been fed since like 10 years, but I don't know. I mean, probably 1,000 students or something like that. We do a lot of after-school programs, so we get a lot of like 8-year-olds, little Billy over at Joshmo Elementary. So in terms of wild thrashing... That was pretty much the worst I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, in terms of just like manic, you know... It was painful, yeah. I mean, I was hopeful.
I was glad that they were scoring and they hit each other a lot, but they did a lot of whacking each other's blades, which usually we don't do. Right. Unless you're seven or Steve and Jay. Yeah. Would you recommend, if they were to do it again, would you recommend them open their eyes? That will help. That will help your aim, yeah. Good job, Woods. Good job. Again, it's Team Touche Fencing. Team Touche Fencing Center. And they are located in Sorrento Valley. Is that what you said? Yeah, Sorrento Valley. All right. And you can reach them at Team Touche. That looks like fun. I want to do it next time. They know their stuff. They do. TeamTouche.com. And they teach kids four and up. Pretty awesome. Thanks, guys. We appreciate that. Thank you. That was a blast. That was radical. Thanks for having us out, you guys. It was pretty cool. Thank you. Thank you. What was the experience like? What did you think? It's pretty. Pretty nerve-wracking. You did great. Well, you see another guy there with a sword, and then it's cool because you look at him, you're like, all right, he touched me on the arm last time with a straight shot. So my strategy on the last one was move, poke, and then I got the win. Right. We call that a Friday night. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That's Jay. That's Jay from the loser's corner. That's right. That's right. Woods, you did real good. You just got schooled. That's right.
So Kid Rock was on Piers Morgan, and he was talking about why he will not put his music on iTunes. And I hear a little bit of woodsy in here. Try to see if you can find the point at which you hear a little woodsy. Your other big thing is about iTunes. Why are you continuing to resist? What's the principle at stake here for you? Well, it's very deep and it's very honest. I'm going to be very candid with you. I don't like being told what to do. Oh, my gosh. Yet I am a loyal servant. Yeah. So it's the... We got to save that clip. I don't like being told what to do. I can believe. I will say this, just so there's no misconceptions. I'm not only a fan of Apple products, I have stock in the company.
So he sounds like Woods. He sounds like me. We've got to isolate both of those. Both of those. Steve Jobs has starred in one of the great... If he says he likes black guys, I will... Greatest American corporations. We're the greatest corporations in the world in the last 30 years, whatever it's been. And I appreciate the way he says, you know what, it's my company. You're going to sell your music for this amount of money. I'm going to run it the way I like it. And if you don't like it, screw off. That's not really a saying. Yeah, I've never heard that saying before. It's very popular in Detroit. It fits. So anyway, that's why he doesn't. No complaints here. I'm not going to be searching for Kid Rock on iTunes. You're not? You don't want to get ball with the ball? Not really. With the bang, bang, diggy, diggy. Bang, bang, boogie. Oh, there we go. Let's see. So, thank you again to El Pollo Girl, man. They are good stuff. So good. Good stuff. What else is going on? How was Atwoods? It was fun, man. I'm exhausted. It's really tiring. It looks fun. It's fun. It's fun fun. My arms are shaking. Yeah, I was shaking too.
You need to work on your stance a little bit. Really? Yes. Is that what you learned from your years of fencing? That's what I've learned, yes. You need to work on your stance. However, I do believe you have more raw skill. Aggressive. Yes. Young and raw is me. So I do not watch American Idol, but I play the clips on the radio. We play these clips all the time. And the guy that I like is that dude that plays the stand-up bass, the white dude, with the beard that has an afro. And he's got a white man's afro. And he's pretty good. His name is Casey. Well, they had to make an announcement about Casey last night. You'll notice that Casey is missing from the group. He is unfortunately sick and in the hospital right now. So, yes, wave to him. Everybody wave. He's in the hospital. Take a shot of everybody. Wave to Casey. We know you're watching, buddy. Feel better. Shout out to the nurses. Get back here soon, okay? Really? Dork. Shout out to the nurse. Faker. He's faking. He's faking. This was Casey just the night before. What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song. And I try not to sing out of key. Oh baby now.
Is that him on the stand-up, I wonder? No. I'll tell you this. This guy was the goofiest-looking dude. And so there's no doubt in your mind, like, there's no way in the world any record company would ever take a look at this guy because, sure, he sings great, but they were like, what are we going to do? I mean, he looked like they just yanked him out of Ho Dads and OB. And, you know, guy had not had a bath in a few days or something like that. But they've cleaned him up. And that's what they do. You know, American Idol is a machine. Once they get the people they want, they send them to pros in Hollywood, clean them up, shave them up, put clothes on. Oh, they do a transform, man. So they make them look like a, you know, legitimate performer. Do you remember Elliot Yamin? Oh, yeah. He was like Swamp Thing. Oh, dude. And then he looked sharp, if that was possible. Seriously. Did it all new teeth? They gave him a new grill. Yeah. His teeth were all crazy. Because we want to teach all the kids out there that that's what it's about. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. He checked. Here's the thing, though, L.O.B., is that, you know. Let's just perpetuate marketability.
And talent for appearance. Yes. Let's just do that. But isn't that what sells? It doesn't matter what your voice sounds like, you idiot. You have to have a nice grill. That's kind of the truth, though, isn't it? I guess so, if that's what we want. Well, why do they hire good-looking people for television and for movies? Well, that's a little bit different because we're looking at them. Musicians... Musicians we don't look at? Well, we don't have to. It's true. Yeah, we could close our eyes. No, you could not go to their concert. When was the last time you saw a music video? Well, I don't watch that. You know that. They're nowhere to be found except YouTube if you seek them out. Yeah. But you know what the guys in Kings and Leon look like, don't you? No. Not really. You don't? No. I do. I don't. Okay. Do you know what the guys in Mumford and Sons look like? Kind of, yeah. Of course. Because of the Grammys, though. No, because of the Little Lion Man video. That's how she found him. Elliot Yameen. Oh, wow. Sorry. There I go. There I go. There I go. There I go. Wasn't much to look at.
Really? Never heard of him. Me neither. Listen to that voice. It's good. Where is he? He's still recording music. Is he in Waukegan, Wisconsin? I don't know. He's a sweet, sweet guy. Topping the charts in Wichita. Making it right. I've never heard of him. He's good, though. He sings good. Great. It's not my style, like Harry Connick Jr., but it's pretty good. Some songs you would like. You think? Yeah. Let's see. My name. That's a good one. He had one called, I think it was Waiting, Waiting, and it was all over the radio. Wait for you, wait for you. Do you have that, Mike? Yep. This one. This would sound familiar. Good girl. Good singer. But there's all these people all over the place that can sing, but they're not much. They don't have the look. They don't have the look. You don't need the look.
A little slow jam. Yeah. If I could sing like that, that's all I'd do. Yeah. I don't blame you. I'd just hang out with you. Yeah. I just do that all the time. Just at parties. Yeah. I'd follow you and be like... Oh, my gosh. Adam Lambert was on the show last night, too. Yes, he was. Special appearance. More than likely. Adam. Hello. He's there for... San Diego native. That's right. He stops. He's like, Bernie, can I get a little more trouble on this? Turn up my monitor. I can't hear myself. I can't. I don't know what's going on with the monitor. Just turn it up a little bit. Let's take it from the top.
Stop. What now? There's not enough trouble. There's plenty of trouble, Elton. Just get back to the song, okay? My name's not Elton. Isn't it? All right, truth be known, my name is Elton. Woodsy? Yes, sir? Strap yourself in, buddy, because when we come back... Michelle Rodriguez, she's in that new movie Battle Los Angeles. Yeah. She says that there could be aliens living with us right now. For sure. And explains how. And she's not kidding. Can't wait. It's next. Let's make some noise in here. Slow dance. Nice. This was always the part of the prom where I just looked around the room. Oh, Mikey. Just got some more punch real good.
It's the part where I'd say, is there any food here? Sweet kid. I would have given you the pity dance, just so you know. Of course. I'd have been the only guy at the prom that brought a sack lunch. Why does that boy have a paper bag with food in it? I have a fat metabolism. Leave me alone. Brought a sandwich. I know, but you had dinner. You know, prom dinner. It's all hungry. I need to eat every two hours or my blood sugar goes off. So we'll give you the... Michelle Rodriguez thing. You got some news for us, Sienna. Yeah, pretty crazy story out of San Francisco. Now, there was a high school. Windsor High School was on a field trip, and they were going over the Golden Gate Bridge, and a student decided to jump off of the bridge. Now, he's okay. Oh, my gosh. Which is amazing that he's okay. No one thinks that he was trying to commit suicide. In fact, they think that he was dared by a fellow classmate. Oh, wow. And he jumped off 220-foot plunge. Maybe don't take all dares. I know.
Luke. I mean, most jumpers die. Hey, bro, truth. Pick truth instead. Yeah, truth. I mean, that's a bad injury when you jump. I mean, most people die. And he, it's a miracle, had no severe injuries beyond bruising. And he said that he was tender. I mean, that's amazing. Amazing, amazing. Also, again, if you haven't heard, magnitude 8.9 earthquake hit Japan last night. It was there Friday morning and aftershocks, there's been a tsunami, 13-foot tsunami. The waves have now hit Hawaii and they will be hitting the coast of San Diego and California. Not a tsunami, but big waves this hour between 8 and 9 o'clock here in San Diego. They say do not go in the water. Our observation was that the news tends to amp it up in terms of drama. And we were just watching the Today Show where they had a guy standing with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. And I'm like, so what are you seeing there, Jeff? Absolutely nothing is going on here. It's calm waters. Yeah, calm. The Golden Gate Bridge behind me. Yeah. There's the Alcatraz if you look a little bit down the road. Way out there. That's always been there. As you can see, there is some fog. Yeah.
And Jeff, how are you doing in terms of creating panic? It's really sad, actually. We've tried. We're trying as hard as we can to create as much panic as we can, but it's not seeming to happen. It's so sad, Jeff. We're terribly sorry. Hopefully you work on that and you can get that done by 10 o'clock. That's what they're doing. I mean, trying as hard as they can to get the panic level up. It's working. I got about 7,000 text messages this morning. You did? Mm-hmm. People on the East Coast, get to higher ground! Oh, wow. Wow. They want you to, like, pull the ripcord on the inflatable raft. That happened in 2004, except it was my friends from San Diego saying, get to higher ground! Oh, wow. I didn't have my phone with me. Weird. And then 20 minutes later, I got a text, never mind. Oh, wow. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, today's a big day in the NFL, you guys. It's going to be... This is the deadline, allegedly. Midnight tonight. They have to get a deal worked out. Now, Jeff Pasch is the NFL's lead negotiator. He came out yesterday after the meetings, and he said, quote, I don't know if both sides have an equal commitment to working out a deal. Meaning, we do. We, being the owners, they don't. Listen to DeMorris Smith's comment. He is the head of the Players Union. Cut, too.
I understand that there's probably some things Jeff Pass just has to say. But this is the truth. We know that as early as March of 2009, from the discovery in the television case, that the National Football League engaged in a strategy to get $4 billion of television money to lock out our fans and lock out our players, even if the games weren't played. Oh, wow. They're calling it lockout insurance. The league wants to insure ongoing cash payments from the networks even during a lockout. So all the work that's been done seemingly could have been ripped apart again with these two clowns going at it in the media. So we will see how it plays out today, you guys. Doesn't look good. Hasn't looked good. You know what the problem is? What's the problem? Men. Yes. The problem is that we are wired. We're so hardwired. with pride and ego, that it's very difficult for men on each side to go, okay, listen, I'll give. Because everybody's got to, you know, everybody's got to be a big, bad dude. Yeah. It's a big peace contest with everybody showing off. It really is. You know, that's exactly what it is. That guy, what was that guy's name from the players? Demora Smith. I saw him.
probably a year and a half ago on a real sports story where they were doing a whole story on him. And it was a year and a half ago, and they said, in a year and a half, it's going to be bad. And I remember watching it and going, please. It's the NFL. They'll figure it out. They'll figure it out. And they were saying how this guy really plays hardball, that he's a tough negotiator, blah, blah, blah. Here we are, a year and a half later. Well, we're getting into now. We're getting into, well, they did this. It's getting into a lot of finger-pointing in the media, which is the last thing you want with, let's see, 12 hours left to go in these negotiations or whatever it may be. That's the last thing you want is he said, she said. And that's what it's gone into, unfortunately. Well, there's no she in it, so just really be. I wish there was. I wish there was, too. You think L.O.B. would give it all in there, though? Sienna would. I just want to get along, you guys. Let's just play. L.O.B. was like, I'm not giving you guys jackass. Let me see your butts first. Turn around. I wonder what it would be like if it was two women that were negotiating with one another. I wonder if it would be like that.
Just passive-aggressive. What if it was two LOBs in there? Just stalemate forever. Yeah, just crossed arms real good. Just crying a little bit, maybe. Yeah, probably. Mad crying. One of the new movies out this weekend is Battle Los Angeles. This is a clip. At 1446 Pacific Standard Time, 12 different locations across the globe were breached. Sounds like a guy from L.A. Yeah. This is Independence Day you're playing, right? Oh, Woodsy, I hope it isn't like that. Oh, is it Signs? It must be Signs. It sounds just like Signs. It looks phenomenal. It looks really good. It looks awesome. It doesn't look hokey like Independence Day. I hated Independence Day. It was terrible. Because it was so hokey. You know what it did? It put elements of humor, which I hate. I don't want funny. I don't want funny. Now you did! You don't want Will Smith. No. Saving your country. The Fresh Prince. If I'm going to escape, make me believe that it looks real, even though it's not real. Make it look real. That's what I want. Agreed. You didn't want the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in an F-18, breaking the Earth's atmosphere, going after it. You didn't. You know what else I didn't want? What? I didn't want Jeff Goldblum hacking into a spaceship's computer with an Apple computer with a laptop. I was like, I almost walked out.
I almost walked out. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Liked it. Weird. Weird. You liked Independence Day? I liked it. Yeah, I can let go of reality to enjoy a movie. Yeah. Suspend your belief. I didn't believe that I was watching a documentary. That wasn't the problem. Are you sure? Is this a movie? It's supposed to be fun. But can't you make it seem real? Yeah, you take Will Smith out of it and you're good to go. I agree with you, Mike. The humor. I hate that. I don't like that. Price is wrong. Yeah. Alien. I hate that. It has been a coordinated attack by an unknown enemy. This is a textbook military invasion. We are the last offensive force on the West Coast. We cannot lose Los Angeles. Yeah, I like to get lost in the story and I do, you know, but I just hope it's not stupid. Anyway, Michelle Rodriguez is in it and believes that There could be alien life not only out there, but living here among us on Earth. So, do you believe... Oh, wow. It's The View. I didn't mention that. I waited to the last moment. I waited to the last moment. Thanks a lot, pal. I know, I know. It was like you got into the car and they were like, did you just fart?
Sorry, I didn't tell you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I believe in the possibility. I mean, scientifically, we only know 94% of the 100 that exists. So if you have 96% of existence that you know nothing about, how can you close the door to life and other dimensions? And there's many more galaxies out there, they say. But even here, resonating on a different light scale. I just hope they're not pissed. Yeah. I think that's a human trait. I think so, too. I think it's just a human thing, you know what I mean? Do you hear what she said? Yeah. Where she thinks they are? Here. Yeah, but how they're here. No, how are they here? She says that she believes that they're here on Earth in a different light scale. What does that mean? It means that we see sunlight and that there must be some different area of light that we can't visually see that they live in. Sometimes when you just get like a random itch and stuff like that, it's probably an alien poking you. Really? I'm out on it. Of course I'm out on it. You never know. Weird. Don't you? Don't you kind of? You never know. Yeah, you don't actually. I believe. Unless you've been to other planets and stuff. We used to think the world was flat. True story. The earth was flat. That you'd sail right off the edge. Yes, we did. Things change. Things change. Oh, yeah. I know.
I'm open to the possibility. I'm not. I'm not a firm believer in it. But you think that there could be space aliens? Absolutely. Like Woods could be one. No. No, he is not. No, you're just being childish. That's ridiculous. I think within the universe, not here on Earth. What do they look like? I have no idea, but I just think it's naive to close yourself off to the fact that, nah, I can't. We're the only ones. Agreed. How come we haven't seen them? We will. They're just gearing up. For what? Battle of Los Angeles. Okay. Fourth of July. Fourth of July. Independence. 2012. They want to make, you know, the whole Mayan calendar thing. How about this? How about the fact that maybe they're stupid? Everybody always thinks that they're more advanced than us. What if they're dumb? And they can't figure out a way to get here. We got a better chance of getting there. And they're like, look, it's a UFO. It's us. We stumble upon them. They're like, oh, hey, what are you guys? Yeah. They're like, whoa. You're from, like, the future. It's the Hubble spacecraft. It's a space shuttle. You know? Why do we always assume that the aliens are smarter than we are? That's a good point. Why am I even pretending that maybe there's aliens? If there are, the Russians will probably get to them first, though. Of course. Of course. It powers me down so hard. Just immediate power down. Yeah. Alien talk. I love it. What if they're really hot aliens, though? Yeah. Hubba hubba.
Three boobs or something. Those three boobs are better than one. Maybe their eyes are on their boobs, so now we can look you in the eye. That's really funny. You get it? To see your spacecraft. Beam me up. I'm entering your orbit. How many moons do you have? I'm ready for the docking procedure. I can't even say it. What? Procedure. Say what? Ready for the plot. I'm ready for the irrelevant. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? I don't know. Did you load it? Oh, Jay. Jay. It was your job to load it. Did he not load it? Did he not load it? You don't have it. Go to your email. It's in my email. If you weren't listening, the other day we did a thing with Jay where he acted.
He got some really nice comments on the Facebook page. A lot of people lied. He did better than I thought. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Which is not saying much. Yeah. Wow. Basically not saying a thing. Anyway, during this acting thing, we gave him a script. And the word irrelevant came up. And he had a little bit of a problem with the word. Did I? I thought it was perfect. Let's see. You tell us. I found it. Yes. Dang it. Take me a second. Oh, gosh darn it. Every time I get it, I lose it. Hey, Mike, we need to break. No, we don't. No, no, no, no. We need it for like two more minutes. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Every time it comes up, it disappears immediately. I wonder if Jay has somehow. That is too bad. You think he's gotten into your email?
He hacked your email like Jeff Goldblum did. How did you spell it, L.O.B.? I-R-R-E-V-U... I just forwarded it to you, Mike. You did. I got it. I got it. Here it is. Here it is. Here it is. So, he didn't load it. Weird. What a clown. Why would I? L.O.B. sent it to Jay to load onto... And that's why I copied all you guys. I know it. To hold him accountable. He didn't do it. Of course he didn't. No. Whatever you think you know about this man is a reverent. Oh, that's fun. I listened to that no less than 150 times. I was about 50, and Jamie looked at me like, what are you doing? I'm like, I can't stop. Me either. It's brilliant. Whatever you think you know about this man is a reveler. It's my wife's favorite new bit, you guys.
tearing me apart. It is? Yeah, because she's like, yeah, I've been noticing this for years and I've been playing it off like, you're not hearing anything. I thought Kim would be mad. She's not mad. She loves it. She's on board. She loves it. That makes me really happy. Me too. Whatever you think you know about this man is a reveler. How do you? Shut up. Oh my gosh. It is the greatest. Oh, sorry. I've never done it. I've never done it. Let's see. That's irrelevant. Whatever you think you know about this man is... What? Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. I can't even imitate that word. I can't say it. He articulated it. Yes. Even though it was so wrong. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. Irreverent. Hard tea. Irreverent. Irreverent. Irreverent. It's so great. Oh, my gosh. It's Friday. All right, so we got an email from a guy who just discovered that he is dating a girl that did porn. We'll read you that email coming up next. Make some noise in here. I don't know what the deal is.
It's hard to remember. It is. I'd forget. Put a lot of time into that. What's that? Picking the music. Sweetly. I know. I know. That's why I feel bad, dude. I forget. I mess it up. It's okay. Everybody makes mistakes. Thank you. Thank you. You're always forgetting. Whoops. Ladies and gentlemen, they have live video right now of San Francisco where nothing is happening. I think there's a boogie boarder out there. A man is walking his dog. That's right. 570-1949 is our phone number. Is this for real? Tonight's 8 o'clock album? Yeah. For real? Yeah, I don't just make it up. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is Cowboys from Hell, Pantera. Wow. How could, how? How and why? Well, not, well.
Doesn't it have a lot of crossing in it? Yeah, they edit stuff out. They do? Yeah. Because there's going to be... So it's going to be... Tonight's 8 o'clock album will be two minutes long. Right. If you're ever going to Garrett's office and grab a CD to burn, there's always a sticky note on the front and it has the track number, the word, and the time. Really? Yeah. Grab any CD that's in his bookshelf that would have a curse word on it. But you don't burn them, though, because we all just purchase all of our music. Yes, right. We don't. Correct. We borrow it. Borrow it. Yeah. Pantera. Pantera. Is tonight's 8 o'clock album. It's one of the hardest albums of all time. Ever. Ever. Ever. I had a Pantera phase, if you can believe that. I did, too. Love Me Some Walk. Yeah. And that will be heard tonight because that's on that album. Tonight you're going to tune in to FM 94.9 and hear this. Oh, word. Oh, word. This is vulgar display. Correct. Dallas boys. Yes, they are. Yeah. So you'll be hearing this. Got invited to a Pantera show one time. I respectfully declined. Because you want to get stabbed? I don't want to get killed. And like.
Meth raped, you know what I mean? I was just out on the whole thing. Your horns were out on loan. Yeah, exactly. I saw Pantera one time, luckily, at an amphitheater. With seats? Luckily. And I sat in my seat like a nine-year-old whose parents had gone away. And I was lost. Just shaking, watching the concert. Phil Anselmo, lead singer. Punches himself in the face with the microphone as he sings. They're a hard band. Very. Were people just drinking white wine spritzer and just doing the frat nod? Mostly Chardonnay with sweaters. A lot of sweaters tied around the neck. Or the waist. Yes. Zima with grenadine in it. How great would it be to do Michael Jackson beat it type fights with the Pantera fans versus the Judy Collins fans? It would be incredible. Yeah. So there it is. PortraitPrince.net, by the way, is doing a photo. We met a guy at our last meet and greet that we nicknamed Bobcat because he's a wild man and he had just been attacked by a bobcat. It's a true story, guys. He saved someone's life. He saved someone's life. And he was a wild man.
He took a liking to L.O.B. Yes. And to Jay's wife, Kim. And to Jay's wife, Kim. And to Woods' wife, Jamie. Get in line, buddy. And to Mike's wife, Rebecca. That is true. Thing for blondes. Yes. And we took a picture with him. It's on our website. It's on Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. I never met him. You didn't meet Monica? He was on the other side of where you were most of the night. Because Santa was bowling and mingling with the bowling crew. Well, here's the deal. Our boy Jared over at portraitprince.net is taking the photograph of LOB with Bobcat and turning it into a beautiful oil painting. M1 Garrett in the background. Garrett. Garrett. And so you're going to be able to see that soon. But if you want to get a very elegant, if you want to get a picture made into a very elegant looking oil painting, it's like an oil painting, but it's actually a photograph. You just go to portraitprince.net. And Jared will do it for you. Okay, so tell me what you think about this. Mikey, just started dating this super hot girl after our third or fourth date. We were on our way to her house, and she gets all serious and says she wants to tell me something. I'm thinking that she is going to dump me, but she goes on to say that she's been in a couple of porn videos. At first, I thought she was joking, but she even started to cry a little as she told me.
Of course, I said no problem, that it was no big deal, but in my head, I was freaking out. She now has a great job working in a dental office. Is this a big deal? Most people have had sex with other people. She just got paid for it! Exclamation point. Should I just get over it? M1B dog. Well, I don't have any problem with a guy dating a former porn star. I'm a former drug addict. So people know. I'm also a former drink every day. More on that later. But, you know, so it's certainly not, my deal is always, you know, it's not about why this, it's about what next. And so, you know, I would personally have a problem dating a porn star.
I know you find that shocking. I'm blown away. If I were single, I could not share the girl that I was dating with various other men. But you wouldn't have to if she was a former porn star. Yeah, former. Correct. A former porn star, it's not an issue. No problem. Yeah, I mean, as long as everything's good and cool. Shop is closed. Shop is closed. You know what I mean? Clean bill of health. There are so many other questions, though. Like, would your buddies find out? Are they going to watch the video? Are you going to watch the video? Absolutely. How do you not watch the video? I can't watch the video. Yes, you have to. You would have to. You have to know what you're up against. If you're the type of guy that is constitutionally capable of dating a girl that used to work in the porn industry, I don't think you want to. I think that that guy is also the guy that goes, yeah, I don't want to see it. Well, what if your friends start recognizing her? I want to see what she's capable of. I don't want to know. I don't think I could watch. I don't think I'd have a problem doing it, but I don't think I could watch the video after.
You would just straight up recognize her when you saw her. You go, hey, aren't you? Fair enough. I couldn't get over it. I would be able to do it. You wouldn't? I would want to think I could, but I couldn't. I kind of agree with you, Sienna. It's hard enough having an ex in the picture. You know that they were intimate with them, let alone a video of it for the world to see. I have a question. Go ahead, Edwards. I have a question. Go ahead. Raise his hand. Would you date girls? Or Mike, too. Or Jay. Would you guys date a former stripper? Yes. I would date former anything. What if Todd came to you and said, I was a Chippendale in Pennsylvania? I would like to say yes, but I don't think that. How come, Sienna? Because I don't want to think about them like that. What if he told you that tomorrow? Well, he wasn't a stripper. As far as you know. Hypothetically. He wasn't. As far as you know. Question. I'm just being honest. Hey, I don't think that it's like bad. I don't think it's like you're admitting, yes, I would love to steal. No, I know. People change and I don't want to punish them for their past, but I can't help the way I feel. No, no, no. I don't think it's bad that you're saying, hey, it would hurt me to imagine them with so many people. I have a hard time.
Like, it makes me sick imagining anyone I've been with in a former relationship. I don't want to think about it. And that, them doing a profession like that is worse. It makes me feel worse. Male strippers are different. It's gross. Channing Tatum was a male stripper. And he's a movie star. What does he do? He was G.I. Joe. He was? Yeah. Male strippers are like, girls are just like, ah! It doesn't really, I don't know. It's not the same thing. You still have your banana hammock? M1 Paul from San Clemente. Nope. Why would you? That'd be me. I'm not a lady. I'm a girl. I'm not so much worried about that except you're assuming maybe that she's having sex with a certain type of person. It turns out it's a bunch of Hell's Angels. Yeah, but a bunch of Hell's Angels aren't in porn movies, are they? I mean, not the sharpest dudes ever. I didn't mean, I really didn't mean it this way, what you're up against, as in what you have to live up to. I meant you need to know what you're dealing with if people start to recognize her or, I don't know. I just, for me, my personal knowledge, I just would have to be like, well, how bad is it?
And would you really want, even if you had one friend that has seen the video, to him know what she looks like naked? It would drive me nuts. It would not. It wouldn't drive you nuts to know if Rebecca had been like that. Here's the deal, though. If we would saw a video of her. Okay, in all of these hypotheticals. Wait a minute. In all of these hypotheticals, it has to be a situation where I have to, in my head, consider myself single. Right. So if I were single today. and eventually started dating again, and I found out that a girl used to do porn, but now is like I am, like-minded, we're at the same place in life, she's got the same kind of faith I do, blah, blah, blah, and we go out to dinner, and some guy goes, hey, aren't you Bonnie Blossom? I think that every time it would happen, and I'm being completely serious with you. I think every time it would happen, I would feel blessed. And I mean that. How? That it's a life changed. Like me. That's amazing. It's me. I think Rebecca would think if somebody came up to me and they were like, dude, and they didn't know. We used to party. They didn't know that I had changed at all, right?
They come up, they see us at dinner, and they go, dude, Mikey? And I go, yeah. And he goes, dude, you still do Free Beer Friday? And you got the strippers in there and blah, blah, blah? And I go, no, man, you know what? I don't do that anymore. What? How come? Eh, it changed, you know. I found God, and things changed in my life. Oh, dude, I used to love that, man. That was so cool, blah, blah, blah. When they walked away, Rebecca, I guarantee you, would be like, I love that this is a different guy. That's true. That's true. Of course, everyone would love it. It's a change because it's a good change for the better. And, you know, you're more of a I don't know. I know what you were going to say. And you got afraid. You know, I don't want anyone to think it's what they're doing is wrong because everyone could lead their own life. But I just am saying that I would have a hard time with it. Sex on film is different. I will say it for you. I'll say it. lines or something like that. And people were like, hey, weren't you the guy that took down seven grams on Friday? There would be a little bit of shame. There is no shame in me now. That's good. There's no shame in me now. And there shouldn't be. I mean, there shouldn't be. No, there doesn't. But if it was a reminder that would happen. I get it. I mean, I still get it today. There are still people who will
I remember, you know who LaDonna Harvey is? Uh-huh. Does traffic? Kogo. I remember one time saying to her, she said, she wrote me one time and she wanted to know about if I wanted to have somebody on my show. And I said, nah, it doesn't really fit the show anymore. And she didn't know. She wrote me back and said, why? I said, well, I said, you know, about a year and a half ago. You know, I found Jesus Christ and blah, blah, blah. And she wrote back, and I don't blame her. She wrote back, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Because she didn't know. Did she think you were kidding? She thought I was kidding. Doing a bit. She thought I was doing a bit. Oh, my God. It sounds like something I would do. Yes, absolutely. It wasn't a foot and mouth, though. Like, I saw it and I laughed out loud. But I'm sure she didn't. When you were like.
Actually, no, no. That's the God's honest truth. I wrote back, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Because it did. It made me laugh. I actually wrote LOL. Because I got shamed out of the LOL by L-O-B and Sienna. LOL, cool. K-E-W-L. That's right. Easy. But I wrote back, and I did. It made me laugh. And I said, I know. It's crazy. I said, but I'm being completely serious. And she wrote back, and she was like, dude, for real? That's totally cool. Blah, blah, blah. But, you know. I wouldn't have a problem dating a porn star as long as they're not still, you know, eight, nine guys at a time. You're stronger than I am. Yeah, you are. Yeah, I think, you know, you're stronger than a lot of people. I mean, I don't. You wouldn't? There's video proof of them naked doing the intimate things that only you want to hear. And really, Sienna, not really. Intimate things like some gnarly stuff, I'm sure. But wait a minute. But wait a minute. You know, that's the thing. Let's say, for instance, you decide, I ain't going to watch it. I'm not going to look at it because I don't want to know. How does it affect you? It does because you know that maybe my buddy saw it. You have that fear. You guys realize, though. You guys realize. Most of us know someone that dated our ex. Which means.
We know someone that did some pretty disgusting. And if you thought about it, wouldn't it pop? Like if you actually stopped to think about it, wouldn't you be like, ugh. Right. I do. And so guess what? I try not to. That's what I mean. That feeling, it gets to me and makes me sick. But then there's not video for more people to see them doing that. Are we going to do it? You know what? It's a footage that just knowing people can see it. I think the right thing to do is not watch it. I'm just saying out of curiosity, I'd have to. Lauren, you would watch it in five seconds. So would you? You would? I probably would. Lauren, why would you do? Would you want to punish yourself? Magnum, dude. Magnum P.I. No. There's nothing to discover. Yeah. There's nothing to figure. You've got to track it down. I'm talking about making love. Exactly. You've got to view the whole thing and be like, oh, it's a nice move there. It wouldn't be about tracking it down. It would be the same reason I can't not look at a car wreck or the same reason why.
When you're sad, you listen to sad music? Yeah, and it's Christmas, and I knew where my mom stashed the gifts, the ones that weren't from Santa, and I would go look at those. Even though I knew I wanted to be surprised, I just can't control myself. What if it's really bad porn, too? Nasty. Nasty. Listen, either way, I don't want to see it. It's a different time. It's a different life. Dude, I will tell you, and I have told you before, in my old life, I was a hideous human being. Earlier, Sienna was like, she was almost going to say it, and she was like, and she didn't say it. I'll say it. Bad person. Bad person. I wasn't thinking bad person. Hideous. Hideous. Hideous person. I wasn't thinking you're a bad person. Oh, I was. But doing porn or stripping, you're not a bad person for doing that. See, the only reason that you think that is because we now live in a culture that everything's okay.
We do. We live in something that is called multiculturalism. What it means is everything's all right. As long as it's OK with you, everything's all right. The only thing that isn't all right is saying that it isn't all right, which, by the way, I say everything's not OK. Now, see, we do have a bar. Like, what if I go, how about porn where it's a real brother with a real sister? And then suddenly people go. Oh, Mike. Mike. So you just. Mike. You just stepped over the line. But that's unnatural. Oh, Mike. That's unnatural, Mike. When does that happen? Hang on a second, Warren. I mean, I know it happened. Ew. Hang on a second. Kentucky. In about. Before our lifetime is over, you may hear something like that. And you will go, oh my gosh, no. But you might hear people that are 18, 19, and in their 20s and 30s or whatever going. You'll be 75, 80 years old, and you know what they'll say? Who are you to tell people that are in love and blah, blah, blah? Who are you? Cousins. Maybe it's cousins. It's against the law. It's known to cause birth defects. There's all these other reasons. There's a lot of things that used to be against the law that aren't against the law anymore. Okay. Prostitution used to be against the law. Now, in the state of Nevada, it's not against the law. Let me ask you this. If...
Prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada, but it's not legal. You got my attention. Go ahead. Okay. Prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada. It's not legal in the state of California, correct? Prostitution, right? Correct. However, you can make a porn video in California, correct? San Fernando Valley. Correct. Right. Now, let's say that you said, I just started Woods Productions. And it specializes in porno. It's in the works. It's in the works, yeah. And you have a bunch of prostitutes. Right. And the way that you make it legal is you film them with their johns. Suddenly it's legal. Right. Because now it isn't prostitution. Now it's porno. Right. See, we all have that line. Yeah, there's a line. As soon as I said brother, sister, everybody, oh my gosh, that's so crazy. Well, guess what? Back in 1951, the idea of what we can see readily on the internet right now was freaking crazy. But it's been going on for centuries. Of course it's been going on, but not porno. Not porno. Yeah. Porno hasn't been going on for centuries. What has been going on for centuries is sex. But the peep shows and stuff like that have been going on for a long time. There's old, like...
Like pictures, like old, old pictures. Yeah, we just had the development of all these technologies. It wasn't as readily available. I mean, it was like, if you had it, think about when you were a kid. You get one picture and you're like, oh my God. Now it's like, oh boy. Let me tell you, when I was a kid, I saw a lot of pornography. A lot. Video, VHS or magazine? Magazine. Yeah, magazine was a big player back then. Big player. And it was... like, for its time, was the filthiest that there was. However, didn't touch what's out there today. No question. Didn't touch it. Didn't come close. Now, the reason that it didn't touch it is because now the bar keeps getting raised higher and higher and higher and higher. Doesn't it make it just gross and not a bad part? Like, people do stuff that I think is gross. Like, the guy's on Jackass. I think that's... gross. And I can't look at it because it grosses me out. I don't think that they're bad people. But just because we get grossed out by... But you know me. I don't think anybody's good. I don't think anybody's truly good. Inherently bad. You think inherently bad. I think inherently good. Me too. It's inherently bad. Yeah, inherently bad. Inherently bad, for sure. Immately good. I believe I'm inherently bad. Me too. And that my nature is selfishness. M1, maybe that's just me.
It's me too. And Woods. Me and Woods. M1 Den from Tierra Santa. Hi. Dating a porn star, would you be okay with it or not okay with it? It would be more along the lines of what got her to the place mentally and psychologically where she was willing to do porn or be a stripper or whatever in the first place. I think psychologically it might be called Benjamins. Yeah. I know there's exceptions. I don't want to make anybody mad, but I've read a lot of studies about this, that women who get into that profession are generally have been sexually or psychologically. I think a lot more people than we realize have been sexually abused. You know, I mean, before I said it on the radio, people probably wouldn't have been like, oh, yeah, that guy was sexually abused. Right. I think more people than you realize have been sexually abused. Yes, I think that you're right. And I think that the statistics are probably very high. I heard on Oprah, it's one out of four women, one out of six men. In porn?
Sexually abused. In the world. Sexually abused. Oh, in the general population. One out of four women have been sexually abused. One out of six men. That's gnarly. I believe the clinical term for that is daddy issues. Daddy issues. Daddy issues. Really? For a porn star? I think more with stripping or prostitution, stuff like that. Sometimes it's strictly the money, but. See, and I think it's no doubt about it. dysfunctional background. Yeah. And it doesn't have to be sexual. It can be, you know, you never know how kids are going to respond to a divorce, you know, to a move across the country. I mean, it could be one of a million things, but I think what wins out is money and having that attitude of, Hey, I can, I can do whatever I want and I'm going to make money doing it. I mean, that's, that's all the interviews I've seen, you know, Jenna Jameson's like, I had a pretty normal childhood. I just like to make dough and I like to have sex. So I thought what a good way to To do it. And I would say I would definitely question that. Sure. I mean, but you never know. Because guess what? I've said that too. And I've also known people that I know for a fact, because I saw it with my own eyes, did not have a normal childhood. And they say, I had a normal childhood. Yeah, it's true. And I'm like, I don't know if you had a normal childhood. 570-1949.
You can give us a call and tell us what you think. My take? Yeah. I could date a former porn star as long as she's not a current porn star. What about you? 570-1949. Make noise in the studio. We've got a live studio audience in here today. Maybe my four-year-old son sings something besides Taylor Swift. Maybe his dad stopped listening to it. Oh, wow. You have a point there. You have a point there, Sienna. You make a good point. What's going on in the news? Well, Daylight Savings is this weekend, so be prepared. 2 a.m. on Sunday. That's when time is springing forward, which means you have an extra hour of sunlight every night. Can I just do it when I go to bed? On Saturday? Yeah, when you go to bed on Saturday. I thought I had to do it exactly at 2. Oh, my gosh. I irritate Rebecca because I do it, like, now. You do? If it's Sunday, I'll do it Friday afternoon.
That's awesome. And I always am like, and she'll go, babe. And I go, well, babe, you know my bit. You know I do it way beforehand. Yeah, just figure it out. And she's like, don't. And I go, but you know I prepare early. But it's not time yet. And I'm like, what do you want me to do? Get up at 2 and like, you know. What do you mean you do it? Like you say, well, really, it's 4 o'clock. Or do you actually set your clock? When I get home today, I will set all the clocks ahead of an hour. Today. Today. Because it's this weekend. It's Sunday. It's done. Forget about it. Don't have to worry about it. See, December 2nd over here relates to December 3rd, my wife. Yes. The two of them. I want your cells under a microscope. I know it. I know it. And I want them studied immediately. I know. She's the same way. She's like, why, why, why, why? That's awesome. Also, it's one of the biggest days of the year for Mikey because the iPad 2 is on sale as of 5 o'clock this afternoon. I thought you were going to say there's a new Tommy Bahama outlet opening in Mission Valley today. Oh, my gosh. He would lose his mind. The iPad Tommy Bahama. Oh, my gosh. Oh. I also thought the guy's angle. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. Yes, you do. Imagine if an enchilada place opened up downstairs. Oh, my gosh. It just blew my mind. I don't even like enchiladas. Don't. A tortilla factory across the street from a Tommy Bahama slash Apple store. Oh, my gosh.
Two of the biggest things that I'm known for, I don't really like. Really? You love them. I don't. Adore. I don't like enchiladas. I don't like Tommy Bahama. You love them both. Yeah. You adore both of them. You need them. You crave them. You are the Tommy Bahama fan club president. Yeah. You know what you guys have done? What? When I go to Hawaii, there's a Tommy Bahama shop. You just call it. The store. How dare you? You just call it my second home. You just call it stomping grounds. Home away from home. Whoever just laughed in the background pierced my heart. It hurt so deep. It hurt so deep. Call it TBS. Tommy Bahama shot. TBS. TBS. You walk in, they go, TB! There he is. Spokesman. Prez is here. Prez! Now, it's in this shopping mall. And the next time I'm in Hawaii, I would have gone. But now, now. Now you're just going to buy it. Yeah, now you're going to buy it. Now I'll be like, I can't. Like, I can't go in there. What if somebody saw you? Yes. They'd be like, I knew it. It's like a paparazzi photo. It's like fat John Travolta. It's one of those pictures.
Sunglasses on, just what? Yeah. With a Tommy Bahama bag in your hand. Yeah. Checking out a floral print skirt. Oh, my God. Shirt. I also thought every guy and girl would want to know Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have broken up. Yeah. He doesn't talk like that. Yeah, what's up? He does. Yes, he do. Man, didn't you ever see the cribs? Not the cribs. The punk. Well, Ashton had tried to. Ashton had come in, and what he had tried to do was, man, they pumped me, and them IRS people came out, and I said, yo, man, where's my guitars, man? You can't. Dude, do not touch my guitar. Do not touch my guitar. Yo, man, I'm freaking out, man. What? What? Ashton. It's Ashton. That's what I said. Justin, why did you cry during that punk? Yo, girl, don't be asking me no questions. Did he cry? He bawled. He did. Because I'm a little pee. What's up? I believe you called your mom. I did call my moms. Yeah. Yeah. Me and my moms is very close. I love you, mama. Love you, grandma. What did he say to his mom? They're taking my stuff. Moms. They're taking my stuff.
True story. Yeah. Is it on YouTube? Probably, yeah. It was on MTV. Y'all, please, I'm just asking you to get out of my face, okay? Get out of my face. And his best friend was in on it, and he's sitting there being like, oh, boy, he's calling his mom. Oh, wow, he's really calling his mom. He's crying. Crying. I'm going to look for it. He let them put that on television. He didn't want him to, I guarantee it. I guarantee it. Well, you have to release. You have to release. Yo, Ashton. Yo, what's up? Can you not put that on the internet? Well, I'm not going to put it on the internet. I'm going to put it on the... Can you not put it on the network of MTV? Is this... Well, first of all, is this P. Diddy? Yo, dawg. No, man. It's me, JT. JTizzy. JTizzy. It's the kids, man. What's up? This isn't Justin... Is this Justin? Yeah, man. You know who this is? You know who this is? Am I being punked right now? You ain't being punked. You punked me. So, wait a minute. I want my guitarist back. I'm going to put it on television. Man, people are going to be laughing at me, making fun of me, man. It's good. It's great. I have. I'm on YouTube. Okay. It's great. How could he let them do it? I know. Well, it's either you say fine or else everyone finds out about it anyway. And then the story gets released. He won't let it out because he cried. Oh, and it's real. Yes. Real tears.
What they did is IRS guys came in and basically, if I recall correctly, which I think I do, they said, listen, dude, you have some back taxes. You didn't pay your taxes. But my mom takes care of all my business. She takes care of everything. And they're like, yo, I'm sorry, man. We got to take your stuff. They're walking out with his stuff. And he's like. On the curb, like crying. As annoying as Ashton Kutcher is, he got people pretty good. Oh, he was brilliant. If he did that forever, he'd be, you know, he'd be the Hemingway of Franks. Now, did he actually do the punking? Sometimes he would run out. And sometimes, like, just the producers or their friend, whoever was in on it, would tell the person, hey, you got punked. But it got people in their raw state, these celebrities. And you saw people act like babies. You saw them act like jerks. You saw behind the curtain. Zach Braff grabbed this kid by the shirt and was like, listen to me, little punk. You little F. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's okay. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was a pretty brilliant show. I saw Lance Armstrong get had, but it wasn't on Punk'd. It was on a car show. Jamie Kennedy experiment. You got X. Stupid show. No, no, no. It was pretty good. I just got it. I just got it.
Let's see. Can you guys just stay on the stoop for me while we pack this up? We'll be out of here in 20 minutes. Don't get upset. You know it is. I had no idea that Punk'd was that elaborate. They've got a full room with monitors and everything. This must be an unedited version. It is. What? We didn't plan for this. I was doing us a favor. Yeah, no. I know. We got to find it, though, because I love it. Yeah, let's not play anymore. I want to see it. You know you finna be okay, man. I don't know how you even got on that. My heart hurts. Oh, because he broke up with Jessica Biel. How do you know he broke up with her? Because you just announced it on the radio. They're broken up. He broke up with her. I know. You know that. I absolutely know that. He has already been spotted with Cameron Diaz. No, Alex Rodriguez was with Cameron Diaz. I know. I just made that up.
I was just trying to stir the pot. They've already been together. He and Cameron already dated. There was a rumor. It's going to be Mila Kunis. There was a rumor about him flirting with somebody new. Mila Kunis. But they were on set together, him and Cameron Diaz, getting awfully friendly. Do guys ever break up with girls that they've been dating for a long time so that they can make love with another woman and then cry and call their ex back and ask her to take him back and she says no? For about two weeks and then takes him back? Yep. Yes, that happens. Yeah, all the time. Occasionally that happens. Do they ever cry a river when it happens? Try and get sexy back. Yeah. Try and get sexy back real good. M1 Pablo from downtown. Guess what, buddy? You won the $125 cards from Marco, buddy. Yes. Grand prize winner, dude. Get some. There you go, man. There you go. Congratulations to you, dude. Have a great weekend. You too. Thanks. Winning. So, big tsunami this morning. We've been reporting on it throughout the show. And it happened in Japan. And it has already passed through the Hawaiian Islands. And is really making its way to the California coast now. Yeah.
On the news, we've been watching the news. They've been showing live shots from La Jolla and stuff, and it just looks like regular surf right now, but they do say it's going to pick up. So let's see. Woodsy, you want to tell us what's going on in sports? Absolutely. About a week and a half ago, I told you guys about a Detroit Tigers player named Miguel Cabrera. He finished second in the MVP voting last year. Great, great player. Remember, he got pulled over on the side of the road while the cop pulled up. The car was on the side of the road. He had a bottle of scotch in his hand, was drinking from the bottle, told the cop to, you know, stick it where the sun doesn't shine. Also, new information has come out about Miguel Cabrera that said he walked into a restaurant that night. He looked at the manager and said, I will kill you. I have a gun in my bag. I'll kill you and I'll blow this place up. Also, when the cops came in. He busted him. He goes, just kill me. Shoot me. He's very, very disturbed, apparently. And this is the second alcohol-related arrest that he's had. The Detroit Tigers said they are sticking behind their MVP runner-up and going to try to get him some help. But he's been playing. He's been playing in spring training right now. So you hope for the best for that guy. Just a very sad, scary story. Also, New England Patriots safety Brandon Merriweather is about to talk to the police. He was involved in a shooting.
With his cousin, they're saying, is he a suspect? He may be a suspect. He may have had the gun in his hand. Witnesses have said that he had the gun in his hand when his cousin was shot through the head. And somebody else's, Nico Glendale Stanley, his ear got grazed. So they're saying Brandon Merriweather, who plays safety for the New England Patriots, is under investigation for that. grazed his ear? One guy got shot through the head. His cousin, Quentin Taylor, and the other guy grazed the ear. It's a gnarly story. He's a good player, too. This is pretty big. What do we have as a prize, Jay? We have a four-pack of tickets to the NASCAR... Oh, no, we don't. I lied. No, hold on. What we have is... What do we have? We have a pair of tickets to see the Lincoln lawyer. Oh, that's a good movie. Is that the Matthew McConaughey? Matthew McConaughey. There you go. Let's do this. You may think with songs you're super. You recognize them right away. Tom Tom tunes, they're never quite the same. The lyrics are read by the Tom Tom girl. She can give directions anywhere and now she's gone first. Let's see how many of you are musical. All right, it's time to play a little Tom Tom tunes, the point of Tom Tom tunes, and welcome Tom Tom girl.
Thank you, Mikey. It's nice to have you. I know that you got some use this morning because Woods needed you to get into work. Yeah, I got lost coming to work. Foggy. Thanks for dusting me off, old pal, old buddy. You're welcome. There you go. M1AK from Point Loma, you there? Yes, sir. All right, here's how it works. TomTomGirl is going to read you the lyrics of a song for 20 seconds. And at the end of 20 seconds, if you can give us the title or the artist, you will win. It's not as easy as it sounds, though. She doesn't have the best inflection. She's not singing. She's reading. So you'll have to tell us exactly what it is that she's doing, okay? Okay. All right, here we go. 20 seconds starting now. Allay, Bama, Arkansas. I do love my ma and pa. Not the way that I do love you. Holy roly me, oh my, you are the apple of my eye. Girl, I have never loved one like you. Man, oh man, you are my best friend. All I need is title or artist for you to win. It was not Queen. It was actually Edward Sharp. You guys ever heard this? Never heard this. That entire moment was his ringtone.
There you go. Sorry about that, bro. Good try. You gave it your best shot. M1 Oscar from National City, are you there? Oscar, are you there? Hello? M1 Jose from Spring Valley, are you there? I'm here. What's up? Not too much. You ready to play? Yeah. 20 seconds, and all you have to do is give us title or artist. Here we go. First, I was afraid. I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong. I grew strong. I learned. Yeah, that is correct. Petrified. Is it weird that I like this one? It's a jam. Who doesn't love this song? It's brilliant. There you go. Done very, very well, Jose. Hang on the line, okay? All right. All right. We got one more player, and it will be M1 Browncoat from Oceanside. You there? Yeah. All right, Browncoat. 20 seconds to identify this. Title or artist win. Here we go. Look at this p-hotograph. Every time I do, it makes me laugh.
How did our eyes get so red? And what the hell is on Joey's head? And this is where I grew up. I think the present owner fix set it up. I never knew we had ever went without it. The second floor is hard for sneaking out. Browncoat, title or artist to win? The Lyrical Geniuses, Nickelback. That is correct. Are you doing that because he's pushing? Why is he screaming at everybody? Relax. Chad, just chill. Ever just have a conscious stream of thought and make it a song? You guys are jealous of Chad Kroger. I'm jealous of his money. That's about it. I had to look up the lyrics last night and I was like, really?
Oh, L.O.B. Lyrically, nowhere near as bad as their song Rockstar. Oh, my God. It's a good bit. It's a little hard to take. I like it. No, you don't. I do. You don't. Please. I do. It's a good song. I sing along to it. I believe that she likes it. I believe it. I like some of their songs. I like some of their songs. You celebrate their entire catalog. Yes. The lyrics are not good. But the songs, I think, are. I agree. We got new movies coming out. We have the judge scolding Lindsay Lohan. And we have a live studio audience hanging out in the studio. I can enjoy the show. He's the Mikey. I was waiting for you. Honey in my ear drums. No question. You ever just cry to the song when you're like 16? Yep. Sure did. Yep. Right now. It's a Tesla. Right now, there's a...
A blonde guy with curly hair driving a Toyota Supra going like this. I can't believe she loved me. I love Sienna. I just don't feel like I told him in the right way. Right now Todd's listening to this, Sienna. Oh, yes. He loves it. He's loving it. Heart is melting. That's right. He's like, this is what reminds me how much I love my baby. You're right. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. You're going to pay for that one. You're going to pay for that one. All right. So. New movies that are out this weekend. Red Riding Hood with Amanda Seyfried. Have you guys seen previews for this movie? I'm like, what is this? It's Little Red Riding Hood gone creepy. Is that what it is? Really, dude? Really? But it looks kind of goofy. Like in a Tim Burton sort of way? No. What's that movie with Anthony Hopkins in its... Scary. Yeah, the werewolf one. It has that kind of a feel. It looks like werewolf. I love that. Yeah, it's spooky. Also out... Wait, wait, here's a clip. Okay. What is it? The wolf. He talked to me. You understood it? As clearly as I understand you. You ever just rip off Twilight? You ever just rip off Nursery Run? Have you told anyone else about this?
Like little kid stories? Mm-hmm. See, Sienna, I thought it had a very twilight-ish look to it. Yeah, it's just like fog while they're running through the forest. You know, like that type of deal. Just painting a white face. Yeah. Also out today, Mars Needs Moms, and that's a kids movie rated PG, an animated movie with Seth Green and Joan Cusack. Do you want to hear a clip? Yeah. You know Sienna does? Oh, boy. Mars Needs Moms? Yeah. Grating. Whoa! I love her. Enough said. There we go. You didn't eat your broccoli. Broccoli makes me barf. Besides, it looks like brains. Well, you like zombies. Zombies eat brains. That accent, it takes me back to being in Chicago, my professors. Ooh, Chicago. It makes me my skin crawl. I dated a girl that sounded like that. Oh, I love it. I love it. No one likes zombies. They're an abomination. I'm committed to their annihilation. Let's go to the party. Is that the kid that replaced Seth Green? Yeah, that's actually pretty funny. Seth Green was supposed to be playing this part, and they kept his body, because when they make these animated movies, the actors that do the voices actually get in suits, so that way, I don't know all the terms, but you know what I'm talking about? Call your brother. My brother would know. The little things, the points that they put all over him in front of a green screen. Yeah, and Seth Green had the body of a nine-year-old, so they kept him, but they had to get a little kid's voice.
I don't like broccoli. Broccoli makes me barf. Well, he was supposed to be in the movie and, I mean, after everything was cut out and ready to go, they cut Seth Green out of it and brought in a little kid. Yeah, anyway, also Mikey's new favorite movie is out today, Battle Los Angeles. It looks good. It does look good. Yeah. I'll see it. Woods. No way, right? Nope. You know why I don't want to see it? Why? It has Neo in it. Neo? The singer. R&B singer. Really? As an actor. Really? L.O.B. Obama's holding a presidential news conference. L.O.B. Businesses see rising prices affect their bottom line. Families feel... He's talking about the tsunami. Fill up the tank. For Americans already facing tough times, it's an added burden. Of course, rising prices are not a new phenomenon. Three years ago, before the recession hit... A combination of facts. Wait a minute. It says Obama on gas prices. That's what he's talking about right now. Yeah. How come he's not talking about... We have more pressing issues. I know that there's a tsunami headed towards California, but the price of gas has gone through the roof. There's a freaking tsunami. Yes. Talk about the tsunami. Talk about Japan.
I love Japan. I've always loved Japan and plan to visit Japan soon. In the meantime, I'm going to go to Benihana tonight. In the meantime, I'm going to go to Benihana tonight. Now, there are rising oil prices. I'm turning Japanese. I'm turning Japanese. I think I'm turning Japanese. I really think so. I really think so. Actually, I think that's a really bad reference. With gas prices. That is a bad reference. I think that's a bad reference. We should be a little more sensitive. We should be a little more sensitive. We should be more sensitive to what happened. What happened? Anyway. Don't go crying over spilled milk. Gas prices are high. Good one. Thanks. You look good today. Thank you. You look good today and so do you. And I think that that's what we need to keep in mind. Do you want to come to French? Do you have a new cologne on? Yeah, I do. Do you want to French? It's Jovan for men. Just waft that over here. What I meant was... Do you want to go French? President Obama is going to be taking a quick break. Family emergency. What the hell are they doing? I don't know. You need to get it together. You can talk to us. You need to get it together. You sound like a moron. We're right here. You're the president of the United States. Putz, we're right here. President Obama will be returning now. I need to let people know that gas prices will stabilize by the end of the week. Ha! Nice one. I told you, get it together. I told you, get it together. That's. I said that to my cabinet. That's. Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get together, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a feeling.
All right. Thank you for coming, everyone. Tonight's going to be a good night. Tonight's going to be a good night. At the Obama house. At the Obama house. No, in the U.S., dummy. I'm going to get some. I'm going to get some. And you know what I mean. Wink, wink. And you know what I mean. Wink, wink. Jasper. Jasper. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Zombie ants have apparently fallen victim to mind control fungus. Yes. These ants are in Brazil and there's apparently some sort of fungus that if the ant eats it, it takes over their brain. What? Yeah. And they turn into like, they're saying like a zombie. How do they even find that out? Do they interview one of the ants? National Geographic. Hello. They notice one of the ants is just acting funny. Yeah. Yeah.
What's wrong with Ted? They see one and they're like, what's wrong with Ted? His eyes look kind of googly. Yeah. Is he hot? He's high again. No, no, no. Did he quit? Is he eating mushrooms? What's he doing? I think he's a zombie. Oh, he looks real jacked up. Wait, wait, wait. Now look at Frank. Frank's doing the same thing. But he and Ted just went around the corner or behind that twig. Oh. Wait a minute. Behind that twig. Let's talk to Fred. Oh. Fred, what's the matter with you, Freddy? Oh, you're scaring the crap out of me. Why do you have cloth sheets hanging from your arms and your arms are straight out? You're looking a little pale. Freaking zombie ants. Zombie ants. They're in Brazil. So be careful. How closely do you have to be paying attention to that? Staring at your ant farm. Staring at it. Don't argue with National Geographic. They know what they're talking about. I don't doubt that it's true. I'm just curious. How do you know? Joel Madden and Nicole Richie got into a fight. Weird. Because, and it happened on Twitter. It did. Oh my gosh. It was not like a serious fight. It was like a fun fight. It was a fun fight. Are they together? Yeah, they're married. They're two kids.
I was just curious. I thought maybe they were breaking up or something. Or they were broken up. Sure they will. I'm not up on the current. Some 41 gossip or whatever band you play. Good Charlotte. No, I understand. It's just four years. Has it? They have two kids. Grandkids, actually. They actually have grandkids now. Did they just get married? I think recently. Just get married. Feast. That was my issue. Yeah, they had the kids first and then the wedding. They've been doing the hibbity-dibbity for a long time. Yeah, weird. Okay. So Joel Madden got on Twitter and said, do you ever look at your credit card bill and ask your wife how the... H-E double hockey sticks. I almost said it, but I stopped myself. She could spend $3,000 on pillows. Pillows! And he kept going. They got in a pillow fight on Twitter. Wow. Oh, Joel. $3,000 on pillows. He said, I mean, what's wrong with Target? Why can't we just get our pillows there? And it was this whole thing. And he said he's taking the pillows back. But it's pretty crazy to spend $3,000 on pillows. We all have our stuff that we like to...
spend dough on and then with our spouse we're like you want to spend that much on that and your wife will be like do you mean like blah blah blah apple ipods i don't have that thing man don't you no there's not something that you really dig that like you like that you have your stuff do you have your stuff i don't have a thing that i'm like oh i have to get the new are are things that's not very often but like i'll spend a lot of money on purses sunglasses and jeans jeans But I'm not obsessed with it. Like, ooh, the new true religion's coming. I gotta go get it. I think the only reason is because that's not really the way jeans work. It's not like there's a line because there's a new pair of blah, blah, blah. I buy them when I need to, when I blow out a knee or a crotch or a butt or something. But I do spend, they're expensive. That's creepy. Jay did that and then realized, oops. Oops, I'm talking about Woods' crotch. I'm talking about Woods' crotch. It's just fun. Is it? I told you, Mike. Woods and I tap each other on the bus. When Woods is walking. Can I buy Woods? If you're out and about this weekend, why don't you come? Hey, Woods. You know how to do stock? You buy low. Are you bipartisan? Take the bottom of Apple. One day you'll remember, Mike. No.
One day. No, I won't. To restart. Hit next. I hate you all. Blah. Mikey Show, that ant fungus thing has been like that. Trust me, it's gnarly. It sprouts a mushroom that eventually forces them to kill themselves first. Wow. It's really freaky. M1PS. Somebody put that on my... Facebook wall because they said it reminded them of the guy that we talked to yesterday from National Geographic. That show's on tonight, by the way, at 9 o'clock. It's called The Beast Hunter, where he goes to these different places and tries to find these monsters of a certain area and puts his hand into a glove full of bullet ants. Wow. Some San Diego teenagers participated in a texting and driving abilities test, and we'll tell you what the results were next.
Named his daughter Apple. That's correct. He beat you to the punch. That's right. It's a great name. You know what would sound good is a little daughter named Apple Esparza. Manzana Esparza. Apple Manzana Esparza. It's a little redundant. It is. That means Apple Apple. You know that. Apple Apple Mac. Apple Apple Mac Esparza is what we were actually considering. If it was Mikey, he would name his daughter Apple. Maybe iPad, too. She'd have a daughter. What? Not should. It's more like when. When are you guys going to do that? When are you guys going to have another baby? We're not! We should. Yours are getting too big to cuddle. Yeah. Don't you want a little girl? Just little dresses. Daddy, daddy, daddy. Pretty little frills. Daddy's little girl. Don't you want to walk your daughter down the aisle when she gets married? Oh my gosh, Mike. You know what I hated about both of those that you just used? What? Those are the actual things that make women want to have another kid. It's ritual to cuddle. Yeah. You don't want to walk. You're never going to get to walk anyone down the aisle when they get married. Give your daughter away. Picture this day. Mr. Esperanza, can I talk to you for a second?
Yes. I just wanted to tell you that I'm really in love with your daughter. And I want to make her my wife. And I just came to you, sir, for your approval. What's your name? My name, sir, is Billy Mumford. Billy Mumford. Yes. Of Mumford & Sons, the famous law attorney. Dad, why are you bothering my boyfriend? Well, I'm not. See, I was just going to tell you, you've got the wrong Michael Esparza. I don't have a daughter. Dad! I don't know who that is. Mr. Esperanza, I'm sorry. Daddy, I love you so much. I really love your show. I don't know who she is. I don't know who you are. I don't know who anybody is. I just came because I know. I have three boys and that's it. I know you're all I have. Daddy. I know you're a traditionalist, sir. Here, I brought you this. First edition Bible to make up for this. First of all, this is a copy of the USA Today, young man, all right? Mr. Esperanza, I just want your daughter's delicate, petite, tiny hand in marriage. Excuse me. First of all, it's not Esperanza. Isn't it? No, you idiot. Oh, is it not? I thought it was Esperanza. They always call your mom Mrs. Esperanza everywhere we go. I know, but that's...
That's your dad. You're not even Mexican. It's not my daughter. I don't look it. I don't look it. I know I have blonde hair. Your brothers don't look Mexican. But my daddy always called me la manzana de su ojo. What does that mean, Mr. Esperanza? I don't know. I don't speak Spanish. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Pantera! You're going to have such a pretty little girl. She's going to be beautiful. I am really pretty. Blue eyes, blonde hair. Would Rebecca be upset if I secretly got a vasectomy? I think she would. She comes home and I got a bag of peas. She's like, what are you doing? Woods kicked me today. Technically, that's cheating. She would have grounds for it. It's cheating? How is that cheating? Somebody else dealing with your peas. She's not in on it. She better be in on it. Wow. Let's see. Okay, so the texting and driving thing, what was the result? Well, there was a study that I talked about earlier in the week that 30% of teenagers admit to texting or talking on the phone while they're driving. So they did this test in San Diego.
Steel Canyon High and the California Highway Patrol did it. And there's kids that are like, oh, you know, I text and drive all the time and it's no big deal and it doesn't affect the way I drive. So they put them through this obstacle course. And it's one kid in particular they're talking about in this article. And he, when he was done with the obstacle course, knocked over numerous cones and was like, all right, I'm not going to do it again. It's too dangerous. Oh, boy. It is dangerous. Yeah. And I need to pay more attention to it. Me too. Anybody have anything going on this weekend that they want to talk about? Anybody have any gigs, any appearances, any of that stuff? I have a semi-pro baseball game on Sunday at Chula Vista High at 1.30 p.m. Your semi-pro baseball team plays at Chula Vista High School? Yep. Okay. Well, good luck to you guys. Thank you very much. You have to pay for tickets? No, no, it's on the house. Okay. I'll leave. On the bleachers, really. Is there a will call? Do you go to will call? If you call me that morning, I'll tell you how to get there. Oh, wow. Should I pack a lawn chair? Yeah, bring some food in a lawn chair. Snack bar? Well, why bring food if you just go to concessions? Well, it's a semi-pro game. It's not a pro game. How much are beers? There's no beers, but it's a high school surprise. Don't bring your own beer. Can I get a hot dog, though, at the park? You can bring a hot dog with you from 7-Eleven. Or nachos, yeah. They have nachos at 7-Eleven. Delicious. You know that. That's semi-pro baseball team.
Yeah, it sounds like you guys are going to do great. Who are you playing? I think we're playing the Chula Vista A's. Chula Vista, Texas? Chula Vista, San Diego. Oh, so a team from the county. Yeah. Are they the away team or the home team? I haven't looked at the schedule. I've got to see who's home, who's away. Okay. Sounds like you guys had a tough practice week. You didn't even know who you were playing. I haven't practiced in. I haven't played in like a month. Oh, good. That's like semi. We had a couple rain out. Should we get there really early to make sure we get seating? No, but your wife should. What does that mean? I don't even know. What does that mean? I'm not sure. I don't know. That was weird. El Pollo Grill. Thank you so much, El Pollo Grill. Let me tell you, man. Amazing food. Amazing food. They have an M1 special, too. Half-off meal combo plates. If you just mentioned The Mikey Show or FM 94.9, and it's really, really good. It's located in the heart of historic Lemon Grove El Pollo Grill. They've been built, and they have a real loyal following of customers since 1987. I was going to say 1897, which Jay was there. Jay's first taco stand. And their signature grilled chicken has attracted famous friends and fans like Jack White, Wolfgang. Right. Different Wolfgang.
Rod Luck. So go check them out. It's El Pollo Grill and they're very, very good. That makes my mouth water. At the end of the show on Friday, I give you something called my testimony. I call it my testimony because that word means my story. Something very specific today to tell you. And it was really cool because this got put on my heart this morning. You know, I was thinking about... today and uh my testimony and it may have a little bit more of an upbeat feel to it um and i'll the reason i have to go back a little bit a couple of years ago a couple of years ago i had a friend of mine asked me if i would visit his brother uh his brother was at uh was at the hospital and he was dying of of leukemia i remember i went into the room And I saw him there and he was in real bad shape. He couldn't talk. And I visited with him and left. And I asked his brother, the guy that asked me to go there, I said, you know, how do you think he's going to do? He says, it's not looking good. Three days later, he passed away. His name was Esteban. Fast forward the clock one year. One year later, I got an email from a listener.
And this listener said, hey, I have a brother that I want to ask you to pray for. He's got cancer and he's not doing very well. And I'd like to ask you to pray for him. And I wrote her back and I said, can I visit him? And she said, yeah. So I got the address and I went to visit him. And it was turned out at the same hospital that the guy that I had visited the year before was in. She told me where he was, and as I was heading up the elevator, I thought, man, this seems familiar. Elevator opened up, and I thought to myself, that can't be the deal. He was in the same room as the guy from the year before. Same exact room. The only thing that had changed was the bed was opposite of where it had been before. Now, yesterday was a kind of tough day for me. get a bone scan for cancer because they believe that his cancer is back. And I didn't know how to get there. My dad had to tell me. And it was in the same hospital. It's only the third time that I've ever been there. And so as I was walking in, my emotions were pretty high. First two times that I had gone there, two guys had passed away. And now I was taking my dad to the same place.
As we were walking in, my dad said that he was scared. And I told him, with a lot of strength, the same strength that I want you to hear in me now. That no matter what happened, it's okay. Now the reason I know that is because I'm a former drug addict and alcoholic. I've been at the lowest possible places in my life. I've been so miserable and I've been so desperate. and so hopeless that there were times that I cried in my car all by myself and wished that I wasn't alive because I thought that simply not being alive would be better than living the existence that I had. I was so utterly hopeless and felt so absolutely terrible about myself. No self-esteem, no sense of worth. In 2003,
I was completely addicted to alcohol to the point where my hands would shake until I had a drink. And then I asked Jesus Christ to enter my life. And from that moment on, my life started to change. It may very well be possible that I lose my dad. I know I'm going to lose him at some point, but you just have to know how much I love him. And then you have to know that you can't see it. But I have a smile on my face because it doesn't matter. happens it's okay it's not about here he saved my life God saved my life and he turned me from somebody that used to be absolutely hopeless and absolutely desperate at a time in my life and that's not me anymore today I have hope today I have a wonderful family today I have the best friends you could possibly imagine today I have
Today I have more than I ever, ever thought that I could have. And yet, if I had nothing tomorrow, I'd still have it all. If any of that sounds attractive to you, or if you're going through any of those feelings that I told you about before where you feel hopeless and you feel like your world is upside down, you're experiencing depression or addiction or an eating disorder, go to MikeyShow.com. If you log on to Mikey show.com, just click on the help section. There's a lot of resources there for you to get some help. And I also want to tell you about be different packed.org. It's a place where you can go to get a bracelet. It says be different. And it's just a reminder to be different and make a difference. If you'd like to hear more in depth, what I'm telling you about, you can go onto iTunes and in the podcast section, just type in V.
O M. And I've got a podcast there where I talk about this stuff more in depth. I mean this when I say this, I love you at the end of the show. I play a song, uh, that you may be able to relate to. I hope that you can relate to the words to this song and that it brings you hope. Lovely and talented Hillary's up next and we'll see you again on Monday. I love you. Mikey shows out late.