The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/14/11

0:19As to Friday's earthquake and tsunami and the current situation of the power plants in Fukushima in the 65 years after the end of World War II, this is the toughest and the most difficult crisis for Japan in that period. Our thoughts and our prayers are with the people of Japan. This is a potentially catastrophic disaster and images of destruction and flooding. coming out of japan are simply heartbreaking this is one of those historic events the tsunami you know one of those things that you will uh remember where you were when you heard about it you'll remember what was going on i think this thing is making uh what happened in indonesia look small in comparison it's a really really big deal and over the weekend we were seeing how big it was man it just took over everything welcome to the program

2:20It's a Mikey show. I'm the host of the show. My name is Mikey, and Woodsy's here with us. He's 35. He's our sports guy. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as LOB, is here with us as well. She's our assistant producer. And Sienna's our news girl. She's 25. Jay is our producer. He's 47. And our phone screener today is Chris. It's Chris! No, no, boy. Off and rolling. That's right. You can give us a call, 570-1949. And you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. And we'd love to hear from you. We have Woods of Wisdom coming up at 730 this morning. And Woodsy will be taking your calls and your emails. You can go to mikeyshow.com to write an email. The word of the day today. I'm going to try to pronounce this.

3:30I don't even really know it. Goche? Mm-hmm. What does that mean? Wow. Come on. What's goche mean? Car. It does? Yeah. I'm learning something new. Every day? Every single day that we do Word of the Day. Nice job. When and if, well, when are we going to change it to the Spanish Word of the Day? That's what I want to know. It already is. It is the Spanish Word of the Day. Pretty much is the Spanish Word of the Day. I like it. I do too. Learn something. There you go. Mike. Mm-hmm. I'm the only one. And I'm the only Mexican on the show. Yeah, it's so weird. All three of us know exactly what it is. The white people on the show know what the word means. The one Mexican doesn't. Now, when you hear me say goche, between now and 10, at 570-194-9, you will win a four-pack to NASCAR on the 26th, the Nationwide Series. You'll also get...

4:33A two-day weekend clinic at the Surf Diva School in La Jolla, which if you're a dude, you get to learn how to surf by a good-looking girl. Hubba hubba. And so there you go. 570-1949 is the number. Call, say hi. So this was one of the stranger stories with the Japan thing. This guy on CNBC. says the most insensitive thing while he's on MSNBC. And basically, he doesn't even realize that what he said is a bad thing. And basically, the producers are like, turn him down. And they just have this girl start talking instead. Take a listen to this. Let's take a look at the markets right now as we get close to the top of the hour here. You can see the Dow is trading in positive territory. It's up, you know, a little more than a tenth of a percent, but still in positive territory, three-tenths of a percent for the Nasdaq. And look at the S&P bouncing back. It's up about four-tenths of a percent. All in all, the market taking this in stride. I mean, the human toll here looks to be much worse than the economic toll, and we can be grateful for that. And the human toll is a tragedy. We know that. But these markets are, all these markets, right? Stocks, commodities.

5:58The human toll looks to be bigger than the economic toll, and we can be grateful for that. Wow. We can be grateful for the fact that more people have died than there is economic disaster. Yeah, than money lost. Thank goodness. He invested very heavily in some Japanese commodities. He wants to make sure he's covered. So thank goodness more people have died than I will take a loss on, you know. The stocks. On wheat or something. So keep listening. There is no major breakout or breakdown. As the traders told us, oil is very much a part of this today because oil is moving lower. So they just start turning him down. She goes up, he goes down. Holy cow. Yeah. I mean, that is... And the thing that's so...

6:49The thing that's rough for for this guy, because I feel sorry for people that can't get out of their own way. The thing that's rough about this is that it's hard to explain it away. It's hard to be like, oh, I didn't mean, you know, that. Well, I I didn't mean that it was not cool that people had died. I just meant like it's hard. The more any way you explain it. You're digging it. I know what he meant, and it's even more insensitive when you explain it out. Once you begin to explain it, it becomes worse. You can't explain it. The impact to all of us is less than those families and loved ones that lost some. See, it gets worse. Now, the way that you can explain something away is when you misspoke. Like if you say a dirty word because you're trying to say something else. Words. Yeah. I mean, you can explain. At least you can explain it. You know, you can say, it's not what I meant to say. Right. Yeah. This one, once you begin to explain. Oh, boy. You're a monster no matter what. The fact that he added, hey, we can be grateful for that. That is just the capper. Now, if he said, listen, even in light of the recent tragedy, their markets have.

8:14Held steady. Yes. Okay. That's so okay. Really no problem there. And thank God for that, that more people have died than money has lost. I mean, that is insane, man. Oh, my gosh. That's insane. I feel bad for him. I do, too. I really do, because I'm like, oh, boy. He's probably looking at the girl next to him, like, nodding his head, waiting for her to nod her head. And she's looking at him like, oh, gosh. Did you just? Did you just? I feel bad for his wife. He didn't. Oh, yeah. She's like, no. She's like, I knew it. I knew your big mouth was going to get you in trouble, you loud mouth. I knew it. One of these days. I told you. From the woman's point of view, Sienna, what's it like to be the wife on that? Because I guess you're just like. You're mortified that your husband is the one that said that. But you know when he comes home, you have to tell him, baby, it wasn't that bad. It's okay. Even though you're thinking, you idiot. Right. You know. You got to back him up, right? As the wife, you have to back him up. Even though you want to just trip him. Are other women, like, are you also, like, because I don't know, but are women going to come to you and be like, so sorry, and that's going to make it worse? What will women do? They'll say something like, oh, you know, I know what he meant to say. Don't worry. And does that make it worse or does that make it better? Yes, because he just wanted to go away. You're like, just don't, just don't. Just don't even bring it up. There'll be one friend in the group that was like, girl.

9:36If I were you, I'd pack my bag. I'd be furious. He is heartless. That's what I had said to you earlier, that he was heartless, and now I'm right. Just like, oh, if I were you, I would just split. I'd move out of town. Girl, you're dead. Guy walks home, just throws his briefcase on the kitchen counter. He's like, oh, boy, this is going to suck. Old lady just giving it to me. I told you. SDSU. is a really good college basketball team. Oh, yeah. A real good one. And the brackets are set, right, Woodsy? Brackets are set. And, dude, this weekend, the San Diego State Aztecs beat...

10:22BYU. How about that? They're a longtime nemesis. 72-54 to win the Mountain West. So then the seedings came out, and they are a No. 2 seed in the tournament. And that is just awesome. They will open Thursday. Who's No. 1 in the West? In their division, it's Duke. So, listen. So it's Duke in the West and then San Diego State. Yeah, Duke is the No. 1 seed. San Diego State is No. 2. How about that? Which is just incredible. So they will play Thursday in Tucson against No. 15, Northern Colorado. The 15 and the 2 is where there's always the upset, right? The 15 and the 2. The 15 and the 2. Don't let it be the Aztecs. They have never won a game in the tournament. They're 0-6 and 0-3 under Coach Fisher. So now is the time. When does the tournament begin? Man, there are, they've got a couple play-in games starting the 15th, which is tomorrow. Yeah. So there's a couple play-in games. North Carolina Asheville is going to play in. Clemson is going to play in. So the big, you know, the real tournament starts March 18th. There you go. And 17th, actually. There you go. That'll be Thursday. That day will be a big day. Oh, it's such a fun day, man.

11:40Me, who's not a big basketball fan, I really enjoy college basketball, and especially this time of year. It's a lot of fun. And Woodsy's been getting into this NFL thing that's going on. He's really been kind of reading up on it, studying it, the CBA. If you don't already know, it's not good news. Yeah, the deadline was Friday. And, you know, of course, we do our show. We're off the air at 10. A lot of times on Friday, a lot of big stuff happens after 10, and I'm driving home. I'm like, Damn it! We're going to be on the air, and I'm like, I want to be able to talk about this right now. But basically what happened is the Players Association has decertified, and they have essentially dissolved. Now, I've got some audio clips of both sides, and when you listen to these clips, you will hear the anger, the pride. You will hear the... I'm not going to back down. The ego, the cockiness of really... We'll talk about it after you hear it. I want you to hear Demora Smith. This is the players rep. This guy representing the players. Well, it is with a great deal of pride that the members and the players of the National Football League said no. We are going to demand as your business partners that you meet us halfway and justify taking any money from us. Woods brought up the greatest point about what you just heard. Tell the audience what you told me, Woods.

13:08Some people may disagree with me on this. Yeah, because we both kind of were back and forth with this point. The way I feel about it is what he just said, his statement is, our business partners, they're your bosses. The owners are the bosses. They're the ones that ponied up the hundreds of millions of dollars for these franchises. They pay for the stadiums. They pay the salary. They pay for everything. They're your boss. You're not business partners. Now, they don't exist without you, and you don't exist without them. So think about it. Think about it for a second. Think about it. If you work for, if you are a, if you're a manager at Vons, do you say, me and Vons, we're business partners. Right. If you work at the front desk of, if you work at the front desk for Evans Tire, are you an Evans Tire? Are you business partners? Or is Evans Tire your employer? Yeah. Your employer. Yeah.

14:07Joe Evans is your employer, and he's in Key West. He's got the whole chain of stores. He's your boss. However, they see the tires and all that as product. In the NFL, there is no product without the players. Exactly, and that's the issue. That's the thing. LOB just hit on it. There's something really unique about this situation because what I said to Woods is, let's say that I'm Tom Brady. That's a spitting image. It's almost like looking in a mirror. It's like looking in a mirror. So you be Tom Brady, I'll be the owner. You got it. Okay. What's the deal, dude? Are you going to play? No, we're business partners here, pal. Yeah, we're not. How are we not? Well, you play for me, for my team that I purchased. Excuse me. I'd like to see your books. I'd like to know how much you make. I'm not showing you my book. Why not? Why do you need to see my books? Because I'm Tom Brady, and I have the right to ask you what I want to ask you, and I want to see it. You do? Well, if you don't do it, I'll leave. Okay, go. I won't play. Well, what are you going to do if I go? I'm going to develop this young kid I got. What's his name? Joe Tyner. Joe Tyner? Good luck with that. Okay. What are you going to do? I'm going to go sit on the couch with my beautiful supermodel wife. Okay. And what are you going to do? You're going to sell some Tyner jerseys? We're going to try.

15:29Got to get a product on the field. You're going to take it to the house? Yeah, good luck with the Tyner jerseys. Take it. Why don't you get a haircut? Maybe I do. Maybe I get a haircut. I'm sure Sony is going to love putting Joe Tyner on their commercials. Hey, you could do a lot worse than Joe Tyner, pal, all right? Really? Joe Tyner. See, that's the thing. There's only one Tom Brady. There's only one Peyton Manning. That's the deal. And they're in a real unique situation. Right. And trust me, I do think that they're both greedy. Yeah. So then you take it from – so that's the player's representative. Listen to the attorney and the head negotiator for the NFL. All of us were disappointed that at the very time that we were face-to-face with the union and with its executive committee, they had already –

16:24made the decision to decertify their union. I think he's right. I do, too, 100%. And that is the problem. They do all this mediation in the back of the players and the Players Association minds. They're going, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. You know, they brought up all these what I call fake bits. The 18-game season, the rookie wage scale, all these basically fake bits that... They said were sticking points for the players. They weren't, man. It was about dough. And they wanted to decertify their union, and they went into those mediations knowing they were going to decertify their union no matter what. Because if you listen to the very last clip, Jeff Pasch says, listen, we made some of the concessions that they wanted. We committed to them, notwithstanding the rights that we have in the current agreement, that we would not change to 18 games without their consent. Evidently not good enough. And at the same time, We agreed to implement wide ranging health and safety changes. I even heard Jeff Pasch, who represents the NFL, say, listen, we went so far as to basically agree to just about everything they wanted. And they still said no. So he's kind of right. You hear that. And the other thing that he said that I thought was really interesting was he said, and this is the one where.

17:48I disagree. He said, the best way to a common ground here is through a mediator, not through litigation. And if I'm the players, well, if I'm the players union that represents the players, I'm like, no, it isn't, pal. No, it isn't. Maybe for you. For you guys, it is. But not for us. I know. When we take you to court, we're going to get paid. Yeah. And I think that that's what it's about. And they're right. They're both of them. The motivation is more, more, more, more. And from the beginning, what the owners said was, listen, because of the hard times of our economics and blah, blah, blah, we're not making the money. And the players go, really? Show us. Right. Show us what's been going on the last 10 years and show us how bad you're hurting. And they're like, no, we're not going to show you that. I really don't think they should have to. Do you? No. No, I don't. When do the inmates run the asylum? You're right. You know what I mean? You're 100% right. It's just that.

18:48It's just that in this situation, like LLB brought up, they're in this real unique situation where they are the product that's being sold. You're right. And I bet if they took out their finances, what we'd see is they weren't hurting. No, they're making dough. I mean, I don't think there's any argument on that point. I think everybody knows you're an owner of an NFL team. You're going to make dough, and you're going to make good dough. I don't think the players have the right to see their books. I just really don't. It's none of their business, man. They play for the owners, and they play for that team and that franchise, and those are the guys putting up the money. I hate to be siding with the owners, but when I look at everything that's laid out in front of me, I'm like, kind of makes sense. Hey, what if – just think about whatever you do for a living. You know, we are – We do a four-hour show every morning. And if Lincoln Financial Media came to us and said, look, we're going to the negotiating table. What we want to do is we want to have you guys go on from 6 in the morning to noon. We'd be like, no. And they were saying that to the players. We want you to play 18 games. And the difference between us and them is we don't get our heads knocked off. They get their heads knocked off. And so I can kind of see.

20:08Where they're like, we don't want to know. And they conceded to that point, though. They conceded, okay, no 18-game season. The player's like, all right. Well, what about the money? Are you going to open your books? I mean, it was always something. The concessions that they said that they wanted, they got. And they're saying now, you guys, August or September before a deal gets worked out. I mean, that is pushing the envelope. in the NFL business as usual, will be going on. Which is weird. I don't understand it. They're going to have a draft. It's at the end of April. Roger Goodell has lowered his salary to $1, as has Jeff Pasch. They now have a $1 salary this year, and they're going to try to keep... I wonder how you spread that out over 365 days. They're going to try to keep all of the employees and stuff they have, because, hey, there's a lot of employees in the NFL, not just football players. And that's what... That's another thing that bothers me, man, is that a lot of people are affected by this, not just the millionaires and the billionaires. Sienna, the iPad 2 came out on Friday. Yes, it did, Mike. And was it a success? What do you think? I believe it was a success. Sold 500,000 iPad 2s over the weekend. Apple did. Do you want to see it? You have it? Yes, I do. Where is it?

21:28You're a sneak. You are a sneak. That's it. Wow. That's it. That is so thin. Wait, what's the brown on top? That's the cover? That's the cover. It looks like a book cover you cover your school books with. The way that you open it is you just, and it turns on. Do all of them have a cover like that? No. You bought a special cover. You buy it. I wish it came with it. It's better. Of course it is. Hold it. The cover just comes right off. I want to hold it. It's lighter. It's faster. Just the lighter and faster. And the fact that it turns off when you just slap this cover down is great. That's like the MacBook. It knows when the cover is closed. It's really great. Is that magnetic, that cover? Yeah, it's magnetic. The iPad 1. I saw, didn't care. iPad 2, I won. iPad 2 is pretty great. I want. It's fast. Yours is silver. I thought it only came in white and black. It's black. That one's black. So these are all apps on here? Yeah. It just transferred my all. Mac is so smart. It basically, as I was clearing my old Mac and wiping it clean, it said, you want to make a backup of this? And it says it just like that. As opposed to Windows. Wow. As opposed to Windows that would be like, you know.

22:55Populous 4296, you know, Kritis, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Mac talks to you in normal people language. So it said, do you want to make a backup of your old iPad? And I clicked yes. And then when I plugged the new iPad in, it just put everything from my old iPad on my new one. And my old iPad essentially became my new iPad. It's lighter than a magazine. Say bye-bye to L.O.B. She was off in some app taking pictures. I was like, that's good. You were not getting her back. Yeah, I made a mirror image of myself. We need to post it. It's hysterical. Look, Sienna. That's the picture that she just took of herself. Oh, that's so weird. My wife had a ball with that. A photo booth is so fun. The ones that make you look fat. Yeah, I'm spreading my face apart. Must be fun to be able to do that to yourself because I would never. I know. What's that like? I have a whole album of me just looking, not just me, but me and people in my family just looking so ugly and weird. I could never do it. It's fun. I'd look at those pictures and be like, ew.

24:01The only people that can do it are good-looking people. We were crying because we were laughing so hard at how ugly we can make ourselves look. It's a ball. That thing's awesome. Yeah. It's awesome. What should I call the picture? Fat face? L-O-B. Fat face, Jones. L-O-B fat face. F-O-B. How many hours? Be honest. How many were you on this iPad? This weekend. Probably four. Wow. That's not bad. I mean, all together. That's not bad. It's kind of hard to sit there in front of a thing and just sit there. I thought it was a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. I think four hours is a lot. Not in a weekend with a brand new toy? I don't think so. You want to see the coolest thing in the world? Yeah. Woods, this is going to get you. Show me. Books. Okay. Watch this.

24:57Those are all books that I have. Whoa. Oh, that's cool. They're on a bookshelf. And when you click on the book. That's so rad. Oh, my gosh. That is so rad. It opens up and you want to turn the page? Will it read to you? It will. Hello, Mikey. You can have it do that. Hello, Mike. Oh, that is rad. That is so good. It'll read to you? I got to get it. There's a reason why Mac is the greatest thing in the world. I got to get it, dude. I have to get it. So now. They should be able to put it in like the really soothing, sexy voice that reads to you. That's like, and now. Just turn the covers. And that's off. It's off. Now you want to. It's on. I got to get it. I don't need it for anything. I don't either, but I want it. I'll just admire Mike's. I want it. I saw one the other day that would fold up and it would make it where it was at a perfect angle to kind of type. Yeah, watch this. Oh, that is what that is. Get it, dude. Yeah, that's cool. That was the problem with the first one. You're such a show-off, Mike. You're such a show-off. Hey, how did you get that in here? I put it under a piece of paper. You walked in there with nothing in your hands. I know. I put it out by the cooler, and then I walked out of here with a piece of paper, and I went.

26:18Wow. You little sneaker. Came back in. You are a sneak. Sneaky. I could not see the iPad under a single piece of paper. Yeah. Under a single piece of paper. It's beautiful. It used to be where this thing would fit underneath or fit in a manila envelope. Now it's smaller and lighter than that. Yeah. And it's incredible. Like if you're, okay, 3G. Let's say that you're taking a road trip with Todd. Or your wife, Jamie Woods, or BFMC. You guys are taking a road trip. You put it on the 3G. You're sitting there browsing the internet, sending emails from the passenger seat. Great. I'm going to lose you even more when I pick you up and drive you anywhere. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Go on. I'll just be following us on GPS, just watching our route. That is cool. That's so great. Oh, gosh. I got to get one. It's kind of like another cell phone kind of thing, too. You have a whole other payment, right? Yeah, it's $15 a month for... Oh, that's not bad. For a data plan? For a data plan. But you only pay... And I got the low data plan because it's only charging you when you're using it. Like, I'm not using it right now. You're not? No. I'm using the Wi-Fi. I called Matt Mikey this weekend because he got a new phone. Yeah. And he's obsessed with his apps everywhere we went.

27:35Did you know that there's an app to do this? Oh, yeah. To do this? And I was like, easy, Mikey. Easy, Mikey. And I'll tell you, the thing about it that is so crazy is when you go, there's something that does that? Yeah. Like, this is, I'll tell you about, well, maybe I save it for our, we're going to do Mikey Show and Tell. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. So I'll save it. And it's where we tell you about cool new things we've discovered. It's killer. It's so fun. This is so much fun. We got so much stuff today. We are going to do it up. Information on Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen. But you're up to it again. I am? Hello. We're not live, are we? Winning. Has the lost city of Atlantis been found? A little Woods of Wisdom at 7.30.

29:15Don't forget the word of the day is go Jay. Well said. Means car. Yeah. How can Jay not like that song? He does. He does, right? No. He does. He does. He likes it. I would not go out of my way to listen to this. I wouldn't go out of my way. Meaning what? You wouldn't go into the forest to try to dig up a track of it? I would not. If it came on the radio, I would change the channel. Not true. Not true. One million billion percent. I need a lie detector test. I know. We need one in here. Let's do it. Chris is shaking his head yes. He agrees. It's true. What? I've been rolling around. I've been lost and found. If we got a polygraph test and we connected it to Jay and we asked him that question, we had Robert De Niro like in the Fockers. Uh-huh. was asking the questions, it would come out, this was untruthful. He liked this song. He likes it. Yeah. He likes it. It's No Sex on Fire. That is a great song, too. It's a great song. It's a good one, too. Easy, Mason Jennings. Jay hates it. He doesn't. He doesn't. Mason Jennings is fantastic. Oh, absolutely. Seven albums sold currently. Yeah, and those are family members. Now, Atlantis. We all know what Atlantis is. Not just a hotel in the Caribbean.

30:41It's an actual place, Atlantis. Atlantis is supposed to be a lost city underwater. Well, there's a U.S.-led research team. It's a professor who is leading it from the University of Hartford in Connecticut. And they believe that they have finally located the lost city of Atlantis. Turns out it's in Jersey. The team used a satellite photo of a suspected submerged city. And it's just north of Cadiz in Spain. Of where? Cadiz? Cadiz. Cadiz. C-A-D-I-Z. I have been there. Easy, Professor. Easy, Professor Farrar. I've been to Cadiz. Of course I have. Have you had, have you had, my stupid brain. Paella. Tortilla? No, have you had tapas? Oh, yeah. Have you had tapas by caillas? Cadiz. Cadiz. Yeah. But you'll like the tortilla. It's not like a tortilla in Mexico. It's like an egg and potato.

31:42triangle thick wedge. Oh, it's so good. That's what they call a tortilla in Spain. I could probably eat 12 of them. They're so good. I wasn't a big fan of a lot of the tapas there, so I ate a lot of tortillas. So it's by Spain. Yeah, it's over by Spain, Caddy's Spain. And actually, this Sunday, they're on the National Geographic Channel. The team's findings are going to be unveiled Sunday. It's called Finding Atlantis. And they're going to show you everything they saw. They used a combination of deep ground radar, digital mapping, underwater technology to survey the site. And you're going to get to see everything. I want to know, like, what kind of city? How big? How many buildings? Is it buildings? What do they look like? Couldn't be more in. Yeah. Could trade. So cool sounding. You know, coins and gold and stuff like that. There's dead bodies down there. No. Bones? They'd be gone by now, right? I would think they'd be gone. You never know. That's what you want. See, I want to see, like, I want to see a chest full of gold. Absolutely. You know? I want to see houses. It's mine, you understand? Bedrooms. Yeah, I want to see, like, the way the buildings are. I want to know where to go. Yeah. I want the gold. Give me the gold. Give me the gold. I want the gold. Yeah. Apparently it's in Carice, Spain or whatever. Carice. Hello, Carice. Fly, fly now.

33:075701949 is the number. Oh, look at this. M1 Apple Freak from Mission Valley. Are you there? Yeah, how's going on, guys? What's going on? Not much. Just calling to thank you so much for all the stuff you brought on Friday for the line. I was using all those other drinks for sure. Yeah, check it out. So M1 Apple Freak was the first in line at the Mission Valley store, Fashion Valley store, Apple. He had been out there how long? It took 23 hours. 23 hours. Wow. Had a little folding chair, and FM 94.9 and the Mikey Show delivered to him a care package. And what did it have? It had anarchy sunglasses, which are amazing. I can't believe you guys gave me those. And it had about five energy drinks, five hour energies, and a bunch of pop chips, and just a bunch of other things. A book, which I didn't read, but I lent it. someone else so it's cool a couple cds so hey now uh tell us apple freak what time did you finally get to buy it um pretty much right at five o'clock i mean as soon as i got in there it was like unbelievable how quick they got me in and out like one guy was counting on my money while the other guy was opening it up and like i mean they're ready to get people in and out so did you get uh 3g and wireless well actually i was gonna tell you this

34:34This is exactly what you should do, too. I got the Wi-Fi one, but AT&T offers a mobile hotspot now, and it's only $15 a month to add it on. Yeah, I've been talking about that on the air. Yeah, you should, and if you get it, it's 4G, or sorry, 4 gigs, and I just take my phone with me everywhere I go, obviously, and I can just click my iPad up to it whenever I want to. I have pretty much 3G wherever I go for my iPad. That's pretty cool. Yeah, so, I mean, it's a lot cheaper, too. What color did you get? I ended up getting the black. Dang, L.O.A. Yeah, you got it. But, yeah, thanks again, guys. I wanted to bring you breakfast some morning if you wanted me to, maybe tomorrow. Well, today. Or this morning would be great. McDonald's or Burger King for sandwiches. Either way. Artists and sandwiches from Starbucks. Donuts. Thank you. Some wheat. Some wheat. Yeah, maybe some wheat for LLB. Corn, just dried raw corn. Don't tempt us with food, ever. Hey, Apple Freak, we love you, and make that right. Yep. I will, for sure, tomorrow. All right. How about today? You got it. And do it today. And do it today. See you in 15 minutes. All right. All right, well, we'll see you tomorrow. By tomorrow, we mean today. All right, see you. I mean immediately. We'll talk to you later. We're done at times. I'll be sure. Yeah, hurry up.

35:57of getting hungry. So there it is. You guys, relax. I almost had Garrett, Garrett, Garrett, our program director, Garrett, Garrett, come in to work today for me because I had... Oh, no. It's okay, Mike. It's okay. This way you don't need to say what you had. But I didn't have that. No. Didn't you? No. No, I didn't. Just kidding. Okay. Nope, didn't have that. Didn't have that, though. That was the thing. I didn't... Ouch. No, I didn't have that. That's not what I had. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. No, what happened was I had a... No, no, I didn't have that. I didn't have that. Say it. You better say it quick. Take it to the house, pal. Wow. Thank you for sparing us that. I had an intestinal blockage that made me sick. It made me throw up. No, Jay. It wasn't that. Did you brush your teeth afterwards? It feels like I didn't, but I did. Did you floss?

37:24Is it gross? Can you guys smell my breath? No. That means yes. By no, you mean yes. I didn't, but now I'll be sniffing. Ew. That's funny. I brush my teeth. I scrub my tongue. It was awful. Is there anything worse than vomiting? Anything. It's the worst. Do you cry when you vomit? Because I do. Write that down? I full on do. I stink. I wish I used to because I think every kid does, but I don't remember when I stopped. Oh, I still do. Full on. I hate it so much, dude. I haven't thrown up in years. I don't even remember the last time. I can't remember. A full on do. I felt so bad. I had to call Garrett back and say, I'm good, man. I'm good. JK. Just kidding. LOL. JK. Hello. Good morning, Detroit. He was so cool about it. He was so cool. He was set to come in here, and I had resolved that I was staying home. Yeah. Happy birthday. Yeah, I know. Because it was bad, man. I was getting sick, and I was throwing up. And then all of a sudden, it wasn't illness. It's because I had gastric bypass surgery. There's no gentle way to put this. My guts twist.

38:50And it doesn't happen very often. The last time it happened was in February of 08. And I had to go to the hospital. And it hurts. It hurts so bad. Go to the hospital, dude. I'm okay now. Are you sure? Is it going to get worse if you don't go get it taken care of? No, it resolves itself. It finishes and then it's done. Do you want me to... No. Are you saying you want me to go? You don't want me... After the show. You need me gone is what you're saying. Not at all. I'm saying go take care. He's basically saying he can't stand you. He hates me. He wants you to get out of here. I'm saying go take care of yourself. Never come back. He hates my guts. Literally, your guts. Your actual guts. Your twisted guts. Your twisted guts. I hate them. Mike, maybe you just split now. I don't mean now. Maybe you just tend. Go to the doctor. Mike, go. Give me the wood show. We love you. Get out. Now get. Now get. No, I'm fine now. Did it happen after you woke up this morning or in the middle of the night? This was so awful. This was awful. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is take all my vitamins and my Adderall and all that stuff. And one of the things that I take is two giant capsules of fish oil. Oh. I'm so sorry, Mike. That is the worst. I am so sorry. Why did you tell us that? I wanted to.

40:17I'm so sorry. I wanted to die. That's unfortunate. I wanted to die. I wanted to die. That's one of the worst things. I was trying to ask myself, what's worse, the pain of the twisted gut or that fish oil? Oh, my goodness. Oh, yeah. Good enough reason to never take fish oil again. Yeah, 100. It's good for you. You know what they say it's good for? You know what it's supposed to do? Skin? Your brain. Your brain. A lot. It's supposed to be great for your brain. Maybe you just eat fish. No, I don't like it. It's so concentrated. You'd have to eat so much fish to get. I don't like fish. I don't really like fish. Why am I recommending my new favorite fish restaurant to you? I'll go try something. I mean, you know, I like fish tacos. Lobster. Yeah. Let's get lobster. Hey, Mike, let's just order some lobster. I could go for like lobster burrito. Maybe some. Like shrimp and white wine. Lobster mac and cheese. Let's just take a helicopter down to Rosarito. Let's just do it. I'll call my guy. Winning. My shrimp and white wine levels are low. Oh yeah. Get it. White people. Yeah. White people in the house. Let's do it.

42:08I'm coming around on that Tim and Eric stuff. Starting to get it. Love it. Starting to get it. That's hysterical. It's all any party ever needs, really. The shrimp and white wine. As long as you're white. That's right. A lot of white people in the house say yes. Yes. Let's see. Mikey, did you say yes? Yeah, I can't because I'm Mexican. I'm Mexican. From Jay's recap, ladies and gentlemen, how great was this weekend? I went on two insane mountain bike rides. Saturday, I did about nine miles off-road in about an hour. No big deal. You are the biggest show-off. On Sunday. Wait, I ain't done. I ain't done. I ain't done. Oh, my. Is she in her? Sunday, I must have ridden about 18 miles. Oh, forever. I haven't been on my bike this much in a long time. I feel great. Feels real good. I feel great. That's right. Well, I mean, listen. It makes me feel so bad about myself. That's the intent. All I did was ride 27 miles this weekend. What? What's up with y'all? Didn't everybody? I'm just trying to show off, dude. Woods, you rode 27 miles this weekend, I'm sure, right? No, I play real sports. I'm not trying to be the best at exercising. Mikey, I'm sure you had 27 burritos.

43:34You spent four hours on your iPad. That's right. Hey, Mike, think of it like this. We're almost mirror images of each other. You spent four hours laying fat in a bed playing with your iPad. I rode a bike for 27 hours. So feast. So feast. Your fingers are probably so strong. Fingers. Just typing away. That guy with his. Okay, sue me. I'm a great surfer. So what if every woman has complimented me on my lovemaking? I can't help it that I look 27. Wait till we get to the name that tune today. Oh, no. I made it special for Woods. Great. All things fat. Oh, wow. That was really kind of you, Jay. Okay, okay, okay. And next week. We'll do all things attractive in honor of me. Next week's theme is fit. Old and fit. Active living for seniors. Family of Youth by J.F.L. Oh, my gosh. Wow.

44:44Did he just say all things fat for Woods? Yes, he did. What he does is he takes a sharp dagger and slides it right between your ribs. And then once it's in there, he just gently turns it a little bit. I would love for Jay to just walk out of here and my foot just gently slip out. Now I can't ride 27 miles. Knowing him, though, he would, like, do a flip in the air and land on his feet. Land on his feet. Yeah. Did I tell you I saved a family of raccoons when I was out there? I was just out doing my 27-mile ride, you know, and I saw a little baby raccoon going, hip, hip. Hip, hip. I stumbled upon this sharp rock. Turns out, arrowhead. Ancient Indian era head. I got the Smithsonian on the line now. Sold it to the Smithsonian for $40 billion. So anyway, it's just my weekend. That's this kind of guy. Just laughing to Isabel, man. Besides looking pretty, I didn't do much this weekend. Mike, you have any bacon? Oh, wow. So we got a crazy email to read to you.

46:12And I just want you to ask yourself when we read it, what would you do if you're a dude and this happens when you're with your girlfriend visiting her mom? I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And our phone screener today is Chris. It's Carl. I'll go Carl. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, I'm going to give you the official death toll as of this morning in Japan after the 8.9 earthquake followed by tsunami. The official death toll has reached 1,833 today. Now, the number has not taken into account the 2,000 bodies that were found in the northeast coast. A bunch of also thousands of bodies have reportedly surfaced after the water. At least 2,000.

47:59369 people are still missing. Oh, wow. But they're expecting about 10,000 overall is what the expected number is. That's so crazy. I mean, it's just so sad. On a little bit of a lighter note, have you ever been to the Sahara Hotel and Casino in Vegas? I have. I've always wanted to. Well, you better hurry up because it is closing on May 16th. Why? Just it's not doing very well. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's a landmark. Kind of a turd, though. Is it gross? Yeah, it's kind of gross. Doing new ones. Maybe they make a new one. Yeah. Yeah. Well, closing their doors, they think that they're going to consider a complete renovation of where that hotel was or is. And it's one of the last hotels opened in 52, 1952. And it was one of the last hotels left from the Rat Pack era. Yeah. You guys hear that they opened up a new bunch of hotels in Las Vegas. Like one of them is the Cosmopolitan. Dude. I saw it. My friends stayed there. They said it was unbelievable. I saw it when I was there last. It's so cool. Does it just look like glass and beautiful? It's the one that has the death ray. When the sun hits it, it was burning people at the pool. Oh, that's the one. That's the one. What did they have to do? Like coat it with something? They had to do a special coating, and then I think they did something else to it. But it looks so pimp. You're like, I want to put on a black suit, white button down, and go in there and gamble. Yeah, well, what I think is cool about it.

49:25is that it doesn't have a theme. I talked to somebody that went there and stayed there, and he said that it doesn't have a theme. It's just, he goes, if you had to name a theme, it's just beautiful. Cool. Gorgeous. Yeah. And I said, how are the prices? He said, ridiculous, because it's new and everybody wants to try out the new deal. Especially on a weekend night, there was like a over $200 disparity between like a Saturday night and a Sunday night. Oh, my. Oh, my. But they say, beautiful. Yep. Really nice. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, if you missed it earlier, the San Diego State Aztecs won the Mountain West Conference. They beat BYU 72-54. They are also the No. 2 seed in the big dance, the tournament that starts this week. The No. 1 seeds are Ohio State in the east, Duke in the west. Pittsburgh in the southeast, and Kansas in the southwest. But yeah, they are a No. 2 seed. They will be starting on March 17th against Northern Colorado, No. 2 against No. 15, looking for their first tournament win ever. I just can't believe San Diego State is No. 2 to Duke. And you know, overall, in the computer rankings, they are the third best team in the country, which is insane, behind Ohio State and Kansas.

50:48I hope that what happened with the football program doesn't happen with the basketball program, where they just start stealing coaches for bigger programs because they're so good. I hope that doesn't happen. But it's going to be an exciting week around here, that's for sure. A new video coming out on what happened in Japan. It's the craziest video. I mean, the stuff that you see is just intense. The car is being washed away and all that stuff. It's just unbelievable. My niece called me this weekend. She's going to be using createyourdesignonline.com. Our friend Jared does the most amazing graphic design in the world. He probably does. No, probably. He does. He does. I go there for the strudel. That's great. Hey, this is really good portrait prints. This is incredible graphic design. Hey, Jared, this is great graphic. All right, so call us at 570-1949 and weigh in on this one. Mikey, here's one you guys can toss around. I went to Palm Springs with my girlfriend to visit her mom, and her mom walked out in the morning while we were watching TV, and she was wearing boy shorts and a T-shirt. That's Jay working.

52:24Working the sound effects there. Yeah. Says she got coffee, said hi, and walked back into her room. Oh, wow. Morning. Morning. Whoa, morning. My girlfriend didn't say anything, and I was really uncomfortable. What do you think of that? M1 Station asked. That is so awkward. Well, because it's her house, man. I mean, what are you going to do? How'd she look is the question I have. Yeah, mine too. But I don't understand why. Why wasn't she naked? Yeah, I'm all in. What about J shorts? Mirrors on your shorts? Now you say, no. Okay, then why can I see myself? Let me check your tag. Does it say, made in heaven? Oh my gosh.

53:50I mean, what are you going to, I don't know if this ever happened to anybody, 5701949, but your girlfriend probably didn't react to it because it's normal to her. You're just a member of the family now. Yeah, it's inappropriate for her to walk out in boy shorts and a t-shirt. Those are just little underwear. Isn't it? All the way in. Well, it's unacceptable. All the way in, all the way in. If they're underwear, it's inappropriate. You're picturing like Heather Locklear as the mom. That's exact. She's in Palm Springs. She's very cougarific. I guarantee you. Maybe she is. Maybe she's not. Maybe she is. Either way. Either way. I think it's weird. That is so weird. If she's attractive, there's nothing wrong with it. If she's not attractive, there's a problem. If she's 230 and wearing those, it's not good. If she's my size. Do you think she's 230 wearing boy shorts? If she's my size and 280 and wearing them, then there's a problem. If she looks good, have a ball. 570-1949. You can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Has that ever happened to you? Mike, have you ever had a girlfriend with a super hot mom back in the day? I did, like in high school. Yeah, you're like, oh, wow. All the time. Yeah, but that's just because she was pretty. She's not walking around in her panties. It's too bad. Oh, my. Listen, one thing when you're a teenager, it's another thing I think if you're like in your...

55:1520? It's just creepy. This guy's in a serious relationship with this girl. That's why he's out visiting the mom. That is so uncomfortable. The mother should not be doing that. I bet the girl didn't react because her mom probably wears less than that usually. They're just probably a really open sexual family. It's like my family. Just open sexually. I don't wear clothes when Maddie's got people over or whatever. I just come out naked. I give demos. She gives demos. It's cool. Yeah. I mean, I need orange juice. What am I supposed to do? Put a damn robe on? I can see Jay walk out in his boxers. Yeah, a hundred. I don't wear boxers. Hey, girls. I'll go take the garbage out in boxers in my neighborhood. What? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, my gosh. You're going to get arrested. Sex offender? What's wrong with you? They're like shorts. That doesn't really bother me. What? All the time. There's a peephole. And nothing about that in your head goes, I'm going outside my underwear now.

56:18It's just boxer shorts. They're like shorts. They're not like shorts. If I just got back from the beach and I was in my board shorts and Jamie goes, hey, take the garbage out. I go, all right. Yeah, because you can wear that on the beach. You wear boxers on the beach, you're going to get arrested. No. Sighted. They're shorts. You're going to get sighted. No, they're underwear. No, you're not. They're shorts. You don't get sighted for wearing boxers. No. You can't tell the difference. What if your junk is hanging out? Excuse me, sir. Well, if your junk is hanging out. I got a button. There's a button on the thing. What do you mean, Jay? You can't tell the difference. What are you talking about? You can't look at somebody who's... Get your eyes checked if you can't tell the difference between boxers. There's no way. People wouldn't. Sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket because you're wearing boxers. I've seen girls lying on the beach in their bras. Dude, there's guys that wear banana hammocks on the beach, like the Europeans. Right. But that's a bathing suit. It's designed to keep everything in. So are boxers with a button? No. With a button? Yeah, I've got button fly. What about the underneath flappage? Oh, wow. They would call it a... Public something. No, they wouldn't. Indecency. Indecency. I'll do it this summer. Mikey Show, who's this? Mikey, this is M1 Cave Dweller. What's going on, Cave Dweller? Not too much. Just calling about a creepy mom walking downstairs. Yeah. What do you think about that? She's marking her territory, dude. She's marking her territory. Oh, wow. Marking her territory with her daughter? Absolutely. Really? Absolutely. She wants her daughter to know, that's my man. No.

57:44she wants the dude to know this is my domain. I don't know. I think it's weird that the mom is wearing her underwear. I don't think she's marking her territory, but I think she is flaunting like, look, I still got it. I think she wants to exactly be like, still got it. Let's see if he looks. Really? Oh, yeah. What a creep. Against, like, with your own daughter? Weird. That's creepy. Mikey Show, who's this? Yeah, I'd like, this is a M1 newbie dude. I'd like to comment. Yeah, what do you think? Oh, man, I... I was just going to tell them, I don't mind. I mean, I walk around in my boxes all the time, everywhere. Yeah. Like the grocery store and stuff. Yeah, but you don't want, yeah. Listen, walking around inside your house. Yeah, do you go walk the dog in them? Yeah. You would. You would walk the dog in your boxer shorts. Come on now. With a deck of t-shirt on? Not like walk the dog, because where I live, I live on the wall, so it's kind of like you're out there. Well, dude, if you're out in the middle of nowhere in your boxer shorts is one thing. It's another thing to be woods walking around a cul-de-sac with his underwear. Hey, I have gone before to the drive-in at McDonald's, yes, Jay, in boxers and a t-shirt. But you didn't get out of the car. That doesn't bother me. They're boxer shorts. How are they going to know? Word.

59:08You guys are giving words a hard time, huh? I do that in my van all the time. You're a pervert. I'm not a pervert. No, I'm not. I got your back, Word. Thank you, James Gum from Silence of the Lambs. I don't think there's anything weird about driving around in a vehicle wearing nothing but your boxers and a t-shirt. What if you went to, what if you had your bikini on and you went to. A bikini is a swimsuit. Yeah. How is that a different though? There's no difference. Less material. They're not different. They're not different. Okay. So if you walk out onto the beach in briefs, how's that different from a swimsuit? Briefs are different than boxers. Why? They just are. The material is not water resistant. What if I'm not in the water? Still. I'm not getting arrested for wearing boxer shorts. It's flimsy and see-through in the sun. Yeah. Wait a minute. Did you have shoes on with your boxers? Flip-flops. That's disgusting. In the drive-thru. Weird. I'm not going to drive without shoes. That'd be weird. Boxers and shoes are weird. Girls wear boxers to the gym and stuff, though. No, they don't. Yes, they do. Yeah, they do. I've seen it. I've seen it all the time. Who was? Who was? Maybe in 1997. Girls don't wear boxers anymore. They don't? No. When did that happen? Boxers? I still do.

1:00:27Where? You don't wear match boxers? No. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Girls wearing boxers, isn't that sort of like evergreen timeless? Like that doesn't. No. I'm in. I think it's fine. They used to make like sewn crashes like girls. They look like they were supposed to be boxers, but they didn't serve the purpose. purpose of actual boxers. Do you mean like out in public? Yeah. You would wear them like to the beach. Cause girls still wear them. Rolled over ones. I still would wear that. I've never, I haven't seen a girl wear a pair of boxers in like 10 years. Oh, I see all the time. Well, I haven't seen it. I don't see it much in public, but I think that women still wear them. I see all the time. My sisters in high school, they always, like, will pull on, like, not just a guy's boxers, but they have them and go get coffee in the morning, you know, or go get a bagel. Girls are allowed to wear guys' underwear out in public. Imagine if we tried that with girls' underwear. Just walking around in panties. Boxers are so comfortable. Do you wear just underwear and a t-shirt? Do you walk around, like, pantsless with a t-shirt on? At my house? Yeah. Yes. Wait.

1:01:33Nude on the bottom t-shirt on the top? Yes. That's the most disgusting thing. Wait, wait, wait. Not nude on the bottom with just a t-shirt. I'm not, you know, I'm not Jodie Foster in a movie, all right? Aren't you? No. I'll wear monsters in a t-shirt. Okay, that's okay. Yeah, a shirt is disgusting. A long shirt is disgusting. That's disgusting. With a butt peeking out the bottom? Yeah, just... Just the bottom of your cheeks. It's the worst look a man can have. You know, my favorite look to wear on the house is L.A.B. is a lot of times I'll just get an old button down and with nothing on it. Well, you'll have like a loosened tie. Ew. Sometimes Jamie will come up from work and I'm in just a tie. Cookie. Hi, babe. Yeah. And white socks. White socks. Hi, hon. I'm just making some chicken marsala. Ew. You want some scrambled eggs? Just a tie. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. With high heels sometimes. 570. That's funny. 194.9 is our number. If you want words.

1:02:42Later I'll give you some tips about if you get pulled over. Oh my God. Because you can't get pulled over wearing just boxers. I'm going to wear boxers to work tomorrow. Just boxers and a t-shirt. If you wore boxers in here. HR. Yeah, HR would have something to say about it. I thought they wouldn't. I would laugh. Your boys would be on display. I'll wear my sliding shorts underneath. I don't know what kind of boxers you're wearing if you're not seeing anything. They're long boxers. They're long boxers. What kind of boxers do you know? Like they're mid-thigh. As soon as you sit down, everything's on display. That's true. It's called the 80s. That's the kind of shorts we wore. Remember those snuggie shorts? The N-huggers. Snuggie shorts. Like in the 80s? The coaches shorts back in the day. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That my dad wore. Like you had camel toe. That my dad wore on Rodeo Drive when we went on vacation in 1985. What? Rodeo Drive. Might have a picture in here. Oh, boy. Might have a picture. You guys were in Beverly Hills on Rodeo Drive, and your dad? Yeah, he's in blue bike coaches shorts. Oh, yeah. And tennis shoes.

1:03:57I'm sorry. Mr. Woods, if you're listening, I'm sorry. Who do you think you are? It was cool then. My dad did that, but we were at Disney World. Yeah, we were on Rodeo Drive. There's pictures of us posing in front of a Rolls Royce, and my dad's in his coaching shorts. Yeah. I don't remember it being okay to go down Rodeo Drive in those things. I mean, I remember there was a time when they were in. I love you, Dad. It wasn't okay to wear those things on Rodeo Drive. He is mortified right now. Of course. I remember being 10 and going, oh, that's what you were doing. I love you, Dad. I love you, Dad. Wow, wow, wow. M1 Brooke is calling from San Diego. Are you there, Brooke? Yes, I am. I just want to make a comment on Woods. I'm going to the drive-thru in his boxers because when I was 16, I had a first job at the Jack in the Box in the summer. And a guy came through, an older guy came through in his boxers and T-shirts. And the manager called the police because he thought he was a pervert coming through the drive-thru. I'm telling you. How would you know? Great. Woods, you're now like the old pervert. Yeah, the old pervert in my suburban.

1:05:13Can I get a big bag? How would you know? If you're sitting in your car, I would not know what someone's wearing. They're up higher. You're up higher. No. They look down and pass into the car, and they're like, oh my gosh, what is that peeking out at me? Well, wait, Brooke, Brooke, Brooke. No. Brooke, didn't you say this guy walked into the restaurant? No, no, he went to the drive-thru. That's what I do. And I was at the window, and I looked down, and here he is in his boxers. And being, you know, my new... First job, I was scared and I ran to the manager and they called the police. Oh, boy. That is so over the top. No, it's not. Imagine this. Imagine that we get a call. Imagine I get a call, okay, on a Wednesday night. And Woods goes, hey, dude, I'm not going to be in tomorrow. And I have to write you guys an email and tell you, Woods isn't coming in tomorrow. He got arrested. For what? He went to McDonald's. Shocker. And he went to McDonald's and he got arrested for being a pervert because he was wearing nothing but boxer shorts and a t-shirt. I would say serves him right. I would say that's ridiculous. I would say that's ridiculous. I would say McDonald's is about to get sued. He's not getting out of the car. It doesn't matter.

1:06:45You got pulled over in big trouble. M1KD from Encinitas. Yeah, hey guys, I work at Victoria's Secret. Oh, go on. Sorry, I missed what you were saying. Poor girl. Say again. We make boxer shorts for women all the time. And our pink line, it's like made specifically for younger girls. They wear them to the beach. I see girls coming in like shopping in boxer shorts all the time. Nice. So those things that you sell. They're meant for girls to wear them like outdoors. Winning. Yeah, they're cute. They're not pajamas? No, they're cute. And they're like sewn shut. They're not functional boxes. What if mine were sewn shut? But I didn't think they were meant to be worn outdoors. I thought they were like pajamas. I think the young girls wear it because I've never seen them. I don't think all of them are sewn shut. I think there's a button. Bunch of pervy chicks, man. All the way in. There's a button, yeah. And it's just one button because I have a pair of the pink ones. And they're meant to be worn outside? Yeah. Why are they sold in an underwear store then? Pervy broads? They're not pink. Victoria's Secret makes a line called pink. Show me. No, no, no. Not yours. I was like, what, what, what? I'll find them, yeah. Sienna's like, oh, yeah. All right. There you go.

1:08:05You guys have seen them. It's girls walking around. It says pink on their butts. Oh, yeah. I've seen pants. That's not just. No, pink is a whole line of clothing. Well, I have a pair of those on right now. If I saw those boxers, I assume they were pajamas for people to wear in their house. So would I. You know what, though? You can wear your pajamas out. I do all the time. But I wouldn't wear my little booty short pajamas that I have. Boxers aren't booty shorts. That's different. That's a girl who answered the door in her underwear. True. I thought it was my boyfriend. She thought it was her boyfriend. Turned out it was a black guy selling magazines. Convenient. I stayed behind the door. And chatted him up. And chatted him up. He chatted me up. Yeah, sign me up for that. I take it back. Like my man. Gigantic. I get it. Oh, no. Oh, no. That face that she makes when Jay plays those. Oh, it's brutal. I hate it. She hates it. Let's see. M1 Paparazzi, are you there? Yep. Go ahead. What's worse? The mom coming out like that? Or your girlfriend's more attractive sister coming out in panties and a baby tee or whatever she sleeps like? Oh, wow. I've done that. Well, they're both weird.

1:09:23They're both weird. In on both. Yeah, it's all good. They're both inappropriate. Yeah, it's inappropriate for a mom to walk out in her underwear. It's inappropriate. It's a family that's comfortable in their own bodies. Yeah, okay, Sienna is showing me. Victoria's Secret, boxer, short, love, pink, pink, and they have, it doesn't look like it's sewn shut in the crotch. I hate that word, crotch. I think it's, if she's saying teenagers, there's a market for that. Oh, yeah. No, I know that young girls. We're making teenage chicks like we're sexing them up, in my opinion. What? They should wear corsets. They're cute. They're cute little shorts. That's the word that lets all sleuty stuff out into the world. Cute. We should have worn cardboard boxes. Yeah, it's cute. No. Maybe they should wear those things over their face, too. Yeah, covering them. Oh, really? Is that how far I'm going? The thing is, I agree with Mike. It's modeled after men's underwear, and I used to wear them, too, but because of the, you know. Great factor. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, nothing wrong with that. Oh, you guys. Do you see the shorts girls wear that are jean shorts that show their cheeks? No. This is more coverage. She's right. Yeah. Those are actually conservative. These cover more than the average girl short. I'm telling you, man.

1:10:44You see 12-year-old girls wearing stuff and you're like, hey, I don't need to see your cervix for crying out loud. I agree. I tell my sisters that all the time. Hey, it's true, man. If they wear these, I'm like, thank you for covering up. Mikey, when you and Rebecca have a daughter, the best thing is you can have a lot more say in what they wear. We're not having a daughter. When you do. When you do. We're not having a daughter. When you do, though. She'll just sit on your lap and dad and she'll have little curls. Daddy, daddy. She'll come out in a midriff and little cut-off shorts and be like, what? That talks me out of it. You guys, when you guys go to the, wait until your daughter's wearing little stuff. When she gets to the teen years. Dressing like pink in tank tops and real short shorts. You're going to be in trouble. Rebecca said, my wife says this weekend, she's like, yeah, you know, don't want you to get a vasectomy because who knows, you know. a few years down the road. And I said, yeah, the only issue with that, babe, is that you've decided that a few years down the road, maybe, I go, the only problem is...

1:11:50I haven't changed my mind about what we decided together as a couple, which is it's over. No, you'll have a little girl. We decided it's over. She changed her mind. I didn't. It's not over. Can't wait for you to have a little girl. I know. I can't wait for that baby shower. I can't either. It's going to be so nice. Little Miguelita. It's done. I'm going to get her a tutu. Oh, so sweet. So cute. I'm getting a soldering iron. I'll do it for you. I know you. Baby! I did mom. Woods of Wisdom coming up. You have questions for Woods 570-1949. We'll get on that coming up next. Can I ask a question? No. Just stop, dude. Just please stop. What kind of a pervert? Come on. Yeah, exactly. Please stop. Are you talking about me or him? I'm begging you. Well, both of you. I'm begging you. I'm begging you. Guys do things that I just don't understand. He's an animal. I don't either. Why am I an animal? Because. Tell him. Fine. Fill him in. When. Woods and Jay went into the restroom during the break. Jay did something that he thinks is very funny. It is kind of funny. The truth of the matter is, it's hysterical. He pantsed Woods. Woods is wearing track pants. At the facility, I did. That was my whole reason for going in there. I tracked him. What if you caught the boxers with the pants? You would have gotten it anyway. No, no, no.

1:14:05The point is, Woods was wearing a jockstrap. What's the big deal? Weird. Why is it weird? What's not the big deal? What's the big deal? What do you mean? I'm going to the gym as soon as we get out of here. And I don't want to bring a gym bag. Look what I'm wearing. Adidas running pants. Workout attire. Look, it's a jock strap. No, no, no, no. Stop. I just saw that. I just saw that. I just saw that. Big deal. How is that comfortable? It's a freaking jock strap. How is that comfortable? It's really not, but you know what's not comfortable? Be it on the elliptical and boing, boing, boing, boing. So why don't you just bring a bag? Because I don't want to bring a bag. Or put it in your pocket. I'm ready to go. Why don't you wear like bike shorts? Hold on. I have an issue. I feel like you're wearing a bra under your clothes. It is. All I can picture is this jockstrap. Oh, I just got to see it. Can I say something? Jay pulls my pants down and I'm the creep. I'm the creep. He takes my pants off. If Jay plays a prank on me and I'm wearing a bra, I'm a creep and he's a creep.

1:15:12Jay, everyone has pants someone. That's something that people do. It means we have two creeps. Yeah, I'm not a creep for doing it. It's a ride of pants. You're not a creep. It's not a ride. What am I, an African tribe trying to be a man? I'm an African boy trying to be a man? You're almost there. You're almost there. You get pants in, like, fifth grade. Yes, not when you're 35 by a 70-year-old. You guys play the... I'm not 70. Are you? I'm not 70. I'm the creep for wearing a jock so I can go work out after work. First of all, I have never known a person to wear a jock to work out at the gym, but to each their own. I need support here. 570-1949. I literally need some support. Actually, I don't need support because I'm all good right now. How do you sit there through the show? essentially wearing a thong. No! Don't! Chris is terrified. Look at Chris's face. I was terrified. They're riding up just a little. It was horrible. I'm not strange. I'm going to the gym. Every day when you come in, I'm going to think, gee, I wonder if he's wearing a jockstrap. I have an image in my head that will never go away. Hey, people. Can I share something with you? What? You've shared enough. It's not the first time. Easy strap.

1:16:36Not the first time. We know. It's not the first time. Why? Okay, I'll lay it out for you. You just did. Yeah, I saw it. It's true. I don't like carrying a gym bag because I just want to carry a gym bag. I don't want to, though, dude, because I don't like to change in the gnarly locker room with wieners everywhere. Look how giant his pocket is. Put it in your pocket. Put what in my pocket? You jockstrap. So that's not weird carrying it in my pocket? Keep it in your car. Listen, I am fully... Keep it in your car. No, because then I got to go change. I don't want to have to go in, take the boxers up. No. Why? Because I don't want to because I'm comfy. Everything's ready in one place. You're sitting there with a thong on right now and you're comfy? I mean, I'm used to it. You wear and play baseball. Yeah, you know I'm jocular. No, but you're used to it when you play athletics. Oh, man. What? What did you do, Jay, when you saw that? Squinch your eyes up real hard and scoot it back, and then I ran out screaming. You guys are children. You didn't expect that. No. You want to see an LLB? No, I don't want to see it. You want to see it, Sienna? We were eye to eye for a moment. Oh. Oh. My. You guys are sick. That is disgusting, Jay. I need support. M1 Dooley from Rancho Bernardo. You need support when you work out. Thank you very much. You don't wear a jockstrap to work like a weirdo.

1:18:01is that most athletes nowadays wear what's called compression shorts. I wear those over my jock when I play baseball. Maybe when you're at work. Yeah, when you're at work. I mean, the compression shorts do the job of support. The jock is used primarily to hold a cup. Right, but I like how it holds my boys up, and I'm free to kind of do my thing. I know way too much. You just squeeze the area. It's all packaged nice, sweetly. It's just gigantic. I've been standing next to you. Sometimes. While you're wearing a jock strap. Hey, I don't work out very often. So when I do, it's kind of a big deal. So I want to make sure I'm prepared. Listen, a gym bag. Here's my rational thought. If I got to go change and stuff in the thing, I'm just not going to go. So I'm ready to go. I get that thought. I'm going to the gym. Somebody buy you. Maybe I'll buy you some compression shorts. I own them. I have some. Just wear them. Should I wear them over the jock? Will that make you guys feel better? Yeah. I'd rather wear my jockstrap to work. Hey, M1, call in if you've ever worn your jockstrap to work. Nobody's calling. Yeah. You better call in. M1 Juan from San Diego. Mikey. Hey, what's up, Mikey? What's going on? Hey, bro, I just wanted to make the comment, man. Jay's my boy and everything, but it is funny when you do it in front of a group of people, but just two guys in the bathroom, bro, that's pretty creepy. Yeah, that's true. Good point, Juan. Very creepy. Good point. All right, bro. Talk to you guys later. Thank you.

1:19:24But Woods doesn't wear underwear a lot of times. It's true. And neither does Jay. Jay, and you know that. What if you had done that and there was, you know. I don't know. I'd always just assume he's wearing underwear when he's in his workout pants. Yeah, I'm wearing a jock. When you see me in these, I have a jock on. No, Woods. Now I know. That means I'm going to the gym. Ew. No. He wears those all the time. Do I? It's like he's proud of it. Yeah, I am not ashamed of this one. You're not. No. You're a weirdo. I'm not ashamed whatsoever. I want a guy to call and say, yeah, I wear that to work. Yeah, if he has a job like ours where he comes and sits on his butt for four hours, even weirder. I thought that the t-shirt with the nude bottom was the grossest thing a guy could do. It turned out jockstrap. Filthy. This one strap is riding up a little bit. Ew, it's the grossest visual. Are you getting a tan in that jockstrap? No, I tan nude. You know that. Oh my gosh. Just the two straps down your butt. I tan nude. You know that. I feel a little bit sick. I don't know that. Why? You are so incredible. Why? I'm just wearing a jock strap. I'm ready to go work out. I don't need any obstacles in my way from keeping me from me and that bench press machine. The other week, last week, L.O.B. said something. And I think it applies to Woods as well. She said it to me, but it applies to Woods. She wants to just take some of my blood and study it under a microscope to just figure me out.

1:20:46I want to do that with the woods. I just want to figure out and study the man that says, you know what I think I'll wear today? Hey, babe, is my jock strap in the hamper or is it in the dryer? That's probably a dirty jock strap, too. You probably wore it yesterday. I did wear it for nine innings yesterday, and then I went home and washed it. So feast. All this is clean. Wow. I still don't get out. I still don't get out. I'm the disgusting weirdo. Jay pulled my pants down in the bathroom by himself. You're not. Let's be clear. You're not a disgusting weirdo. You're pervert. Okay. What is he? He's a sex offender rapist. He's a creep. Jay's a creep. You're a person. Everybody's focused on me. Jay's a funny prankster. He pulled my pants down. Jay's hilarious. Jay's so funny. Jay's the shenanigan king. Not embarrassed. Not even a little bit embarrassed. Not even a little bit. You should reconsider that. Hold on. We're not getting one call from a human being. Stop adjusting it. Now that I know it makes you all uncomfortable, I'm wearing it every day. Here's what I'm going to do. I may wear it only. Let's ask M1s. And all I want you to do M1s.

1:22:03is I want you to call and you either say, it's either totally appropriate or totally inappropriate. Okay. 570-1949. Now, are you talking about me wearing a jock shop or Jay taking my pants off at work? Which one? I'm talking about a guy that's going to go work out and his work allows for him to dress as comfortably as he wants, meaning he can wear track pants. Totally appropriate or totally inappropriate that underneath said track pants. I'm ready. is a jockstrap. Inappropriate or appropriate. Go through like 10 calls. Would you ever have known if Jay hadn't been a disgusting creep? You never would have known. I'm a prankster. That's how you guys are though. You always tap each other in the voice. I never have taken his pants off.

1:22:48Yeah, but you always... With your eyes. If you thought there was nothing wrong with it, you would have... If you saw the way he was doing it, Sienna, you would have stared at it too. Trust me. No way. There is no way. You would have... Jay was peeing on the golf course and Woods happened to stare at it. You would have never known how I was holding it if you wouldn't have gone around. Maybe go into a bathroom and not right next to our cart. Go in the woods. You've never gone on the... Not on the fairway. You're a skit. 570-1949. I'm the creep. That makes sense. Hey, I'm looking at the calls. Maybe you're not. Take them. Wow. Maybe you're not. Take them. Is it appropriate or inappropriate to wear a jockstrap underneath your track pants? M1, Sean from San Diego, appropriate or inappropriate? Appropriate. Thank you. All right. M1, Brian. M1, Brian from San Marcos. Appropriate and weird. Yes. Finally, a voice of reason. M1, Ninja from San Diego. From a girl's perspective, appropriate. Thank you. What? I'm a girl and that's not appropriate. That doesn't count. M1 Joker face. I'm not counting that. Yes, you are. No. Yes, you are. Yeah, she's got to count it. What? It's a human being. It's a girl. It's a girl. The question was, would you wear it to wear it? Yes, she doesn't. M1 Joker face from San Diego, appropriate or inappropriate? It's totally appropriate. Thank you. Why not? It's covered. There you go. And it's underpants.

1:24:15At all creepy? Come on. M1 Adam from El Cajon. Totally inappropriate. Thank you, Adam. Thank you. Same human being. M1 Chemistry from San Clemente. Thank you. Get. Four to two. I'm keeping score. I got the score. M1 Snug Huggleton. I wonder which way he's going to go. From Santee. Appropriate or inappropriate? Five to two? We're not allowed to take girl calls. Yes, we are. Five to two. I'm going to take guys from Gulls about other female things. You don't understand. That's five to two. M1 Gregory from San Diego. Are you there, Gregory? Thank you. That's six to two. One more. Actually, I won. M1 Oscar from Claremont Mesa. Are you there? Oscar. Go ahead. Oscar. Appropriate or inappropriate? I would say appropriate. Thank you very much. You're the only one. Thank you. This is weird. That's seven to two. Weirdos. A bunch of creeps. Vindicated. Again. Living among us. The M1s have spoken. M1 Nation has spoken. I'm vindicated. I'm in shock. I'm vindicated. All the creeps called in because all the normal people were like, wow. I mean, there's just going to be so many people that obviously call and say it's inappropriate. That I don't even need to call. Yeah. We even heard from two of them.

1:25:41Out of 10. You're sitting here in a thong, Woods. It's a jockstrap. And people say that that's okay. That's what athletes wear. They're all saying it's okay. Yeah, of course it's okay. They're creepy. Because nobody's supposed to see it. Oh, my goodness. That's not fair. If the perv wouldn't have taken my pants off, nobody would know I have a jockstrap. How far down did his track pants come? Oh, they dropped. They went to my ankles, dude. Oh, weirdo. Look, these are loose. No! Don't! See, I'm the perv. He's going to show you. Don't. You have problems. The people have spoken. You have problems. Actually, I don't. The M1s have spoken. I'm all good, kid. I bet when he is so wild that I bet when Woods sleeps, he's like a German shepherd. He's just moving, you know? Running. Because he's just so, yeah, he's running. I sleep like a baby. Do you remember a couple weeks ago? Because I'm wearing a jockstrap? Yes. Do you remember a couple weeks ago when the M1s got mad at us because we had a bit on the air that they didn't like? Yes. I'm now mad at M1 Nation. Oh, wow. I feel, like, hurt. I feel very hurt. That, like, this is the society we live in. And I feel very fearful to go out in this society. I don't want to know guys where... I just want you to know that while you're driving down the 8 today, a bunch of dudes are wearing jocks. Just driving to work with... Driving and jocks. Pinstripes. Pinstripe soup and a suit and a jacket. Jock strap underneath. Yeah, listen. I am ready to go. I'm fully functional. There's...

1:27:07And a creep. There's nothing that stops me from getting out of my car, walking in, getting on the bench press machine, and ripping off some ribs. Nothing. Now my next question. Are you actually going to go to the gym? Yeah, we'll see. All of that for no reason. We'll see. Oh, my God. Gary Tiki does. If you go home. He will. in a jockstrap having never worked out, that makes you certifiable and ready for prison. I agree with that. Watching movies all day in a jockstrap. Maybe I just hang out in my jockstrap. Just curled up on the couch in your jock. Everything's in its right place. Trust me on that. Creeps. How was that just voted appropriate? How was that just voted appropriate? Sienna, by a landslide. I feel like I need to eat my pile of paper. Sienna. By a landslide. No, no, no. You guys can't even. That's a landslide. Two girls don't count. But I'm telling you, L.O.B., I was looking up at the call screener, a landslide. This is why I'm afraid to walk out my front door. Yeah. Because this is who we're living among. This is why we need to carry a whistle. Guys are wearing dog straps. I'm a track fan. Well, yeah.

1:28:31It's Michael Shannon. Good morning. Don't know if you've known, but FM 94.9 changing formats over the weekend. We're now light rock. I knew it. I knew you would bring James Taylor to this radio station. No complaints here. Listen, me and Rebecca found this station on the satellite that's... 70s easy rock. Only the 70s. Oh my gosh. Just a bunch of bread and ambrosia real good. That's what it was. In fact, I even told her, I go, did you hear when Woods and I were riffing on ambrosia? And she goes, no. I go, we were saying like, can you imagine when they were forming the band and they were like, how do we come up with a name for ambrosia? What do you think, man?

1:29:33Gosh. Bread? Those guys have already done it. And I honestly, I think we should call ourselves some kind of a salad. Like Caesar salad. How about just Caesar? Something sweeter, though. What about tuna? Something sweeter like Waldorf? A pear salad? Yeah, maybe something like that. What if we call ourselves Waldorf? How about Andive? Waldorf sounds a little bit uppity. Andive. Andive, you mean? I thought it was on-dive. It's endive. I've said endive. CNN people would call us different things. Some people would be like, oh, let's go to the on-dive concert. What if people say endive-y? Endive-y. That's true. Shoot. What about ambrosia? It's technically a salad. You guys? It's like the ring to that. It's got... It rolls off the top. Ambrosia. It's far out. Ambrosia. It's pretty far out. It's unique. It's far out. It instantly makes me think of a marshmallow. Yeah, I did. And then I just think of... Just relax. And then I think of marijuana. And that's what people will be smoking at our shows. Exclusively. It makes me think more of like marshmallow white stuff sort of. It makes me think of lewds. Yeah. Quaaludes. Marshmallows make me think of quaaludes. And quaaludes are super popular right now. You know. Hey dude. Yeah.

1:30:56It fits with us. I feel it now. Oh, yeah. Hit that, hit that. Yeah, I'm laying on a marshmallow. Right. You're laying on a marshmallow. The new one from Ambrosia. How much I feel. I like it. It's got a good ring to it. Do you think these guys are just playing the best Western tonight in El Paso? A hundred. Real nicely? Oh, yeah. Shine a light. Now you know. I know you are. Cause you're the thing that's part of me. And you know what the deal is. And I know that the thing is. And I know that your life is way different. I think you're the deal with me. I paid $4 a piece for these tickets. That's $8 I'm never going to see. Yeah, I paid $4. I think it's complimentary. Somebody at the front door would like $4 a piece for me. That guy?

1:31:56That's their roadie. It's just a track of the music. With one guy. Joe Ambrosio. He's pushing the demo button on his keyboard. Oh my gosh. Yeah, the voice has aged just a bit over the years. Hey, I'll give you what you want. I know you want something. He'll give you a biggest tampon. Authentic. That's right. He's got a teleprompter. And by teleprompter, I mean a laminated piece of paper with words on it. Can you play how much I feel for Bill at Beverly here? It's our anniversary. Absolutely. We came all the way from Houston to see you. That's a nine-hour drive. I know. I can't play Houston. I'm sorry. Here I go.

1:32:58And I know what's been going on. Everything is a deal that I want to think. Yeah. Can you give me another shot? What's the deal with that thing that was going on? I'll take a white den. I think I'm feeling that I think that I feel for you. Hey, drinks are half off at the bar right now. Yeah, just tell me. Oh, my God. He sounds terrible. And I will get the thing going. He sounds terrible. He doesn't have it anymore. You guys bread, fam? That's how much the thing has dealt with my deal, babe. You don't even remember the words. Let's just put the CD on when we get back to the room. Yeah, when we drive home. Yeah. He's coughing while you hear the real singing. He doesn't even have an instrumental. He just plays the real track. He sings along to it. It's so great. I can picture it in my mind. Holy cow. Sienna, what's going on in the news? There was a second explosion at a Japanese nuclear plant this morning. The first one happened on Saturday, if you haven't heard about it. It was a containment building of a reactor at the...

1:34:26Fukushima Daiichi power plant exploded today because of a hydrogen buildup. Good job. Just more problems in Japan. I could not have done that. I practiced it. Also, some good news. Update on Representative Giffords. She is now speaking. A lot better. Full sentences. Short sentences. Breathing tube was removed. And she said that she now knows that she was shot. She can't remember the shooting. But, you know, she's making leaps and bounds, is a quote from her doctor. L.O.B. and Woods thought that it was insensitive that her husband was flying a space shuttle mission. Yes. Yeah. Commanding it. Wife just got shot in the head with a 9mm. Maybe you kick back for a while at home. Yeah. Maybe get her some chicken soup. Let somebody else go see space. Yeah, he's been to space, what, five times? He's commanding the ship. He's commanding. Maybe go to your local planetarium. He just worked his entire life to be there. Happy birthday. Yeah, he's been five times. No, not commanding. It probably got boring after five times going into space. I can see that. Phoenix planetarium's open. Yeah.

1:35:28It's not like a paper route. Getting shot in the head is not like getting the flu. Yeah, she's doing fine. Having a hysterectomy or something. She's just shot in the head with a 9mm. The thing is, she's going to be there for lunch. They're going to roll her out on her bed. She can't sit up, but they'll make the bed. They'll control the bed instead of, and then someone will just slowly lift her thumb up so she can give the thumbs up. She's speaking. She's able to move around. She's laughing, joking around. I'm sure what she's saying. is stay. She's on my co-ed softball team and that broad can flat out hit. Period. She would want him to go. She would absolutely want him to go. She can talk. She can talk. She can talk. Soup. Water. That's how much. Gossip girls. Woods, what's going on in sports? Got a statement for you, Mike. From Dean Spanos, the president of the San Diego Chargers. All right. This one is the one that jumped out at me, and this is the stance that most of the owners are taking about the current situation in the NFL. Quote, I'm most disappointed in the actions of the union's leadership that is supposed to be representing all of our players.

1:36:37They clearly were not negotiating in good faith right from the beginning. I agree. I believe their intention all along was to decertify and bring us to litigation. I agree. Couldn't agree more with President Dean Spanos. He also says at the end that in the end, the final result will be an agreement that is good for the fans, fair for the players and teams, and will allow this game to grow and prosper in San Diego. Maybe for one more year. Stop it. It scares me, dude. I'm scared with that bit, man. I'm scared with that bit. And also, real quick, head coach of the Ohio State Buckeyes, Jim Trestle, as you know, has been suspended two games, fined $250,000. The tipster, the guy that sent him the emails about the improper benefits that his players were receiving, has been getting death. threats from Ohio State fans. Another story out of Ohio State this weekend. Kirk Herbstreet, longtime ESPN analyst, played quarterback at Ohio State, moved his family out of Ohio because of crazy Buckeye fans constantly harassing him. He has to be fair and impartial. They don't like him being fair and impartial. They want all Ohio State all the time. Moved his family out of there to Louisville, I believe. No, Nashville. Nashville, Tennessee. Moved him out of there this weekend.

1:37:50You can't see me. My jaw was dropped open like crazy. Oh, wow. Crazy fans, dude. Yeah. I guess. You know what they need? Their ambrosia levels are low. Extremely. We can get them at the Holiday Inn in Columbus. Yeah. Make it right. And they would love it. Think they could still hit that note? Zero percent. I saw Boston in concert about nine years ago. And. Those were hard songs to sing, you know, 40 years ago or whatever it was. You know, what's their biggest hit? More Than a Feeling, probably. Yeah, More Than a Feeling. It gets high. And the guy was like, More than a feeling. More than a feeling. Hey, everyone. Welcome to a very special night here in the mountains.

1:38:59When I was tired and taking coke, I pulled my old lady aside one night. I said to myself, let's do some coke. And I closed my eyes and we drift away. It's different. It's very different. I mean, imagine trying to hit this note when you're 60. Not easy. Jay was 81 when this first came out, and he was... Kid for their rock music. That's right. It's pretty good stuff, though. I'll tell you that much right now. Candy. Let's do some of this. Let's do some of this. Oh, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. That's what I wanted. 5701949, if you have a question for Woods, for Woods of Wisdom. Guy stuff. Jock straps. Yeah.

1:40:17If you weren't listening earlier, Woods is wearing a jockstrap. Yep. Going to the gym. With running pants. With running pants. Yep. Don't worry about it. Jay pantsed him. Don't worry about it. We found out about it. Disgusting. Trying to get in shape. We took a whole bunch of calls. Overwhelmingly, people thought there's nothing wrong with that. Because they're all creeps. They're all sane. Crazy people. All of them. They're all sane. It's the world we live in, apparently. Apparently. Jockstrap world. They know the deal. Here's our first email that we got for Woods, for Woods of Wisdom. It says, Woods, I'm still hung up on a woman that I used to date. It's been over a year, and I've started seeing someone else, but this other girl is still on my mind a lot. I want to just forget her. What's the best way? Did not sign it. Time. That's it. It's the only freaking...

1:41:13thing that works. Moving doesn't work. Getting in another relationship doesn't work. That doesn't work at all. It's the only thing that works is time. Maybe he should wait before he gets into one. I agree with that. Sounds like he's seeing somebody. A lot of guys will try to run through as many as they can, think it's going to ease the pain. Doesn't ease the pain. Doesn't make it better. Time. It's the only thing, man. It's the worst answer you want to hear. It's the only answer. How about this one? This one was texted to us, and it's pretty great. Woods, my buddy's coming to town and wears white sunglasses. Oh, no. I know this because he's wearing them in his Facebook profile picture. Can I tell him not to be a douche? That's M1 Big Jimmy. I'm speechless, first of all. Easy, Kanye. Okay? With your white sunglasses, your big, goggly, white sunglasses. Maybe we go back to where people just wear aviators. Are they in Sienna? Oh, the bigger, the better now is the sunglasses. Yeah, in San Diego, but never white.

1:42:25Never white. White sunglasses are never okay. You guys are white all the time. There's a couple dudes driving right now in their car, and they're like, great. Just do it. Shamed real good. Do yourself a favor and just throw them out your car window. Yeah, just throw them out the window. White is for girls. You might as well be wearing pink ones. I got no problem with that. I have a friend, and he's a dear, dear friend, and he's younger than me. He's 27 now. He came to San Diego, and we were going to go out, and he had his white shoes and his white belt, and I said, Hey, Dub, you may not want to wear that here. It's a little more laid back than the Dallas club scene. It's a beach scene. We're going to go get a couple beers at a beach place. White shoes aren't going to fly here. Please don't wear them. Describe the white shoes. They're white shoes. Like dress shoes. Yeah, but they're slip-ons. Like alligator skin. No, there's no. They almost look like canvas, but they're leather. Yeah, I know what you mean. They slide right on. There's no laces, anything. And I go. Please don't wear the shoes. He goes, come on, dude. You know I'm wearing the shoes. The white belt. I go, just don't wear the shoes. What kind of pants? Jeans. Oh. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wore white shoes with jeans and a white belt. Oh, yeah. Dallas, big player. Big player. Ew. Not here. No, and I know that. And I go, don't wear the shoes. Please don't wear the shoes. Come on, dude.

1:43:47Please don't wear the shoes. I don't want anybody to see me with you and they're going to be like, why was Woods with this guy in white shoes? What the hell's going on? Is he okay? Is he on drugs? Why is he hanging out with the guy with white shoes on? The only item of clothing you should wear that's white is a t-shirt. Yeah. Agreed. Agreed. Fully agreed. Or white pants if you're going to Hawaii. No. No. Yeah, I have them. Never. They're short. Just a shirt. T-shirt. I love them. Woods wears white pants. I have. I own a pair. He's never worn them around me. Yeah, you were out when he wore them. Yeah, they look good. He came in. I pull them off. I think I can. I mean, who am I to say? L.O.B., were they all right? They were too big on them, first of all. Oh, boy. Not anymore. Second of all, easy Memorial Day. That's Labor Day. No, you get to start to wear them on Memorial Day. You can't wear them past Labor Day. Right. You can wear white pants from Memorial Day to Labor Day? That's the deal. That's the deal with white. If you're a nurse. Same with white shoes. Or if you're a nurse at the hospital. Or if you're a nun, I think. Or maybe in 1976. At a disco tent? Studio 54. I like them. Easy. Rigs and tubs. Crockett and tubs. Crockett and tubs. Is it Rigs? Rigs is lethal weapon. I don't know what you guys are talking about.

1:45:11Don't call me Tubbs again either. That nickname is going to stick. You didn't know what we were talking about? Not a clue. Miami Vice. Sorry. You either, Sienna? You've never heard of Miami Vice? I've heard of it. I mean, I know what you guys are talking about a lot of times. Don Johnson would have gone over better. Yes. Easy Don Johnson. There you go. Much better. 570. Easy DJ. 194.9. M1. There you go, Woodsy. That's it. White pants stuff. White shades. Real good. Yeah. Just bringing down drug lords. Cuban drug lords. Pink shirt. That's right. M1 Pat from Lucadia. Are you there, Pat? Yeah, I am. I'm right here. Yeah. I'm 52 years old. I listen to you guys. I love it. But I'm telling you, the white sunglasses were bad then, and they're bad now. Agreed. Fully agreed. They've never been okay. No, they've never been okay. Never. Unless you're Kanye West. Woods is right about it. Yeah, Kanye. And even Kanye, you're like...

1:46:28Really, with the white sunglasses? He's not someone you want to emulate. That's true. That's true. But Kanye pulls him off, doesn't he? He doesn't? No. And when I see the white kid in PB with them on, I'm like, I mean, I'm sorry. I don't want to be like a judgmental dude, but you look like a dork. You look like a dork. There's no two ways around it. My first thought is you're from Arizona. Yeah, you're a tool. Oh, wow, Sienna. Zony. She actually said it. Hey. She said it. Zony. Maybe they are confident. Yeah. Nuh-uh. Dumb. Confident in what? That you look like a dork? Yes, if that's what they're confident in, then yeah. They're like, hey, I can pull this off. No, Kanye doesn't pull it off. Hey, I don't have the need to look like everybody else is what they're saying. Yeah, exactly. The bottom line is you have to say, here's a great rule of thumb. If you have to say to your friends, I can pull these off, you shouldn't be wearing them. No, yeah, that's a good rule. That's a good rule of thumb. If you have to say, what, I can pull this off? No, then you shouldn't be wearing it. It's like your newsboy hat. Right, exactly. Which is why it's at home. But I am bringing it back. In the trash? No, it's on the counter. Brad Pitt and I just wear the same hat. You pulled it out of the trash? It's no big deal. It's a real big deal. Saw a picture of him. Thought, hey, it looks good on him. I might try it. No. Sienna shamed Woods right out of the newsboy hat. I'm just growing my hair a little longer for it. Are you? You just got your hair cut. No, I just got it cleaned. It's still long for me.

1:47:49What about the shoes? Did she shame you out of the shoes? What shoes? No. The ones that you climb buildings with. The moonwalk shoes? I haven't seen those in a while. They're European. They've got suckers on the bottom. From Milan. They're from Milan. Suction cups all along the bottom. Hugo Boss. No big deal. Just me walking down a tile floor. Here comes Woods. Walking up the side of the building. I love those shoes. So comfortable. They sell them, actually, on the moon. It's the only place they can get them. Yeah, crazy, yeah. You have to fly. Astronauts, it's mandatory. You wear them. Come to Nordstrom Rack. Hey, don't Nordstrom Rack me, pal. Nordstrom Rack, I said, not Nordstrom. They're on the rack for a reason. Easy moxing. Easy moxing. What are you, taking paoli over there real good? M1 Pedro. Just starting fires with sticks? M1 Pedro. Starting trends, actually. From San Diego. wondering, how can I tell my wife to wax her mustache without being so direct? That's a great question, Woods. I'm disguising my voice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He literally is disguising his voice. Are you sick? I'd say just get a divorce. I mean, that would be the first thing I would do. Shut it. What does he do? What does he do? Dude, I don't know. I would wax it in her sleep.

1:49:10There's no good way to say, hey, babe, you want to take care of that stash for me? What if he said something like, did you know that Kim Kardashian waxes her up the lip? No, because it's transparent. She's going to see right through that. Is he riding a Clydesdale right now? He's riding away. What are those club, club, clubs? Dude, what is that? He's on his iPhone 4. Are you calling us from New York City where you're giving rides? Easy, Paul Revere. I want to hear it. There's no good way except the direct and honest way. How much of a mustache are we talking? He's doing it. He doesn't want people to know who he is. He doesn't want his wife to know who he is. He sounds like Facebook dork. Yeah, Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, Mark Zuckerberg. No, I mean... I can't listen. I'm just saying that my wife has some issues with the hair and everything. I don't know what to say to her. Yes. Hello?

1:50:38I want to hear his voice again. Well, I mean, she has dark hair. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Is her name Miss Piggy? You know what you do? You know what you do is you very subtly, you say that you saw that an extremely beautiful celebrity. That's what I said. Transparent. So transparent. Tell her that you really are enjoying the new Mach 4. And that she should give it a shot. I mean, she's got to know it's there. Send her to the salon for the day and tell the lady at the salon. That's a good call. Because if the salon lady goes, ooh, we should take care of that, she'll be like, yeah, all the way in. Just watch a movie with Burt Reynolds and be like, I'd never kiss him, babe. You know who really I was not a fan of is Tom Selleck. How about you? Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Let's see. How many times do you think he practiced that voice before he called it? Yeah, he's like, is this good? No. Is this good? No. Cookie Monster. Should I do the English accent or will I get pulled out on it? Is there a food, and let's take tequila out of it, but is there a food or a drink that if you just hear it mentioned, you feel nauseous? I'm thinking about it. I'm already sick.

1:52:07Now, it's not a liquor. Right. Okay, yeah, because liquor you've got to take out of it. Because everybody will say, oh, I got sick on this. No, no, no. I'm talking about something other than that. 570-1949. We'll discuss it next. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Black Joe Louis and the Honeybears. Garrett. Can't just make a band. It's a real band, and it's called Scandalous. It's the name of the album. Garrett's a baller, man. That guy was going to come in here this morning and fill in. I had to wake that poor dude up at 2 a.m. this morning because I thought I wasn't going to make it. Never heard this. Like it. I've played it like 30 times. You've played it 30 times? Yeah. You've played it a lot on Bumper Music? Yeah. It's one of the top songs on iTunes. You ever just have memory loss? I don't think we ever make it that far into the song. No. I like that. Just sweaty real good. Pink.

1:53:40Wearing a wife beater. Just wearing a wife beater that has big marks of pit stains. Drinking a 40. Out of a paper bag. Wearing men's dickies. Smoking butts from an ashtray outside the DMV. Farting. Farting. Cupping her fart. Combat boots. And putting it in your face. Butter cupping you. Oh. Maybe more than I am. Is that too much? Really? Really? Yeah, yeah. Wearing spiked leather belt. Oh, yeah. You got girls ever. Spit on the sidewalk? Yeah, 100. Ever done a handstand at a party? Think she knows what Copenhagen tastes like real good? Ever let her spit, drool out of her mouth, and suck it back up? Orange juice spit. Chocolate milk spit. Ever take a pretty t-shirt and cut it up? Because it was too girly? Ever punch another girl in the face? Ever punch a dude in the face? Yeah, punch a guy in the face. Ever been in a fist fight?

1:54:39You ever call another girl a D? Ever use Kool-Aid in your hair? Dyes it. Manic Panic. Manic Panic? Mm-hmm. What's that? That's the colored dye that you use. You get it in the punk shops. May or may not have used it in the past. What color? Pink. You did that? Mm-hmm. Just punked up real good? Just like a piece under here. What'd your mom think? That I was an idiot. Did she tell you as much? Yeah. She would say. Look like an idiot. Yeah. The East Coast is so different. It'll mince words out there, pal. You know, I was watching an East Coast feed this morning of the news. The news is crazy what they'll show people. Just the difference between there and here. You would never see the news here. They'll show people like, oh yeah, I was standing, man. And I was watching it. And I was like. whoa what up with that i was like a dead body rolls out in a gurney yeah seriously they were talking about this cop that had gotten attacked and they were talking to uh a neighbor that witnessed it yeah and the guy is telling the reporter what he saw and while he's doing that this person that did the shoving of the cop his girlfriend walks into the

1:56:04apartment building and so this is what it looked like yeah man he was like all up and he's pointing to the girlfriend and they showed that part on the news that's awesome read the new york post sometime i read it every single day and it is the front page stories you're like holy cow holy cow just wouldn't fly in san diego that's why when Anyone that's from the East Coast and has moved to San Diego loves the movie Anchorman so much because when you watch the news here, it seems so much more pleasant and fun. It is. It is. News in the East Coast is very serious and gritty. 5701949, the question is, is there a food or a drink that to this day, just the mere word will make you nauseous? M1 Ellis from La Mesa. Yeah, how you guys doing? Good. LLB. What was yours? The sound of the word and the smell of it makes me gag. Always, even on Thanksgiving, I know it's a big food, but coleslaw. So... I can see that. I can see it, too. Sesame seeds in it. Is it because... Any kind. The KFC kind, the kind homemade. Even my mom makes it. I'm like, no, I don't want it. My wife loves that KFC coleslaw. I do, too. I love coleslaw, period. I hate it. The kind that comes with Chick-fil-A.

1:57:35I love it. I always give mine away. I gag every time. Every time. Wait a minute, Ellis, did you get sick eating it? No, I never eat it. I've eaten it like once, like maybe 10 years ago, but never since. It just grosses you out. Every time. Ever had it at room temperature? Oh yeah, warm coleslaw is foul. Oh yeah, if it's not freezing cold, it's foul. I think she's right. Just room temperature coleslaw. I always try to come around on foods that I think are disgusting. Like every once in a while I'll try olives or cantaloupes. I love olives. And when I try them, I'm like... M1, Tanya from Vista. Hey, how's it going? Good. What's yours? Horseradish. What? I love horseradish. Me too. And Bloody Mary's. So, just even the word. And is it because you just can't stand the way it smells? Oh, yeah. That has a lot to do with it. When I was pregnant, it made me gag so bad. Oh, yeah. And then I would be waitressing, and I would have to, like, replenish the horseradish, and I would pay people to do it for me. Oh, my God. That's awesome. I love it. Thank you for the call. Yeah, there's nothing worse than...

1:58:54When you're in the service industry and you see how the things get into the nice little serving cups that you give the customers, but it really comes from a giant vat that you're dumping from a big thing into a small thing, you're like, maybe I don't like that anymore. Not to get too rabbit-holey, but I'm going to rabbit hole on you a little bit. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Friday night, we went to Stone Brewery. And our server, I felt so bad for this guy. Why? Trainee. Oh, boy. Told us. You guys, I'm training tonight. He dropped a giant tray with seven people's meals on it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, L.O.B. just put her head back, put her hands over her eyes. Poor guy. I felt. Oh, my God. My heart just broke. Dude. It just broke. Where did he drop it? And they had to come. The guy comes over and he goes. Hey, guys, really, really sorry. Want to let you guys know your steaks are on us tonight. Trainee, he dropped the entire tray with seven meals on it. We're going to rush him out here as quick as we can to you. I wanted to hug the guy. A hundred percent. I wanted to hug the guy. Absolutely. You know, he was mortified. Driving home was the most silent drive home that that poor guy has probably ever had.

2:00:22In his life. He had any whiskey that night? Yeah. He got home and did a couple of shots of Jack Daniels just to use the pain. Oh, poor guy. Oh, I felt so bad. Just driving home, so sad. So sad. And just saying in his head, I'm a freaking idiot. I can't believe I did that. Why would I do that? In the kitchen, they're in there washing off the steaks to bring them right back out. Oh, no. No, Jay. Why didn't I try to be a hero? Why didn't I just have someone follow me? Yeah, why did I think Seven was okay? Why didn't I think I could do it? He's just playing this in his car. He's driving home. He's like... All I wanted was just to be the best I could be tonight. And then I just... I just need something inspirational. I just need something inspirational. I was so stoked to get the job. It's like the coolest restaurant. It's freaking stoned. It's stoned. Stoned. Why did I do that? I wanted to hug him. Absolutely. Did you grease him a good tip? I left early to get the iPad. Rebecca was humiliated. As she should have been. You left them sitting there?

2:02:00Yeah. So you had to say, babe, I'm going to take a separate car. Oh, no. It wasn't like that. She had to go with me. Oh, no. She had to go with me. Please don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Get her on the phone. Get her on the phone. Get her on the phone. Get her on the phone. Get her on the phone. I was with a group of people that I had told two nights prior to that. You guys, this week, I challenge you. Think of others before yourselves. No, you didn't. Get her on the phone. Can we? Can we get her on the phone? Can we get her on the phone? Yeah, we got a lot of people calling. Yeah, we do. We do. Let's get to the rabbit hole. I want to get to this. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. M1 Jen. M1 Jen from San Diego. Hi, Jen. Hi, how are you doing? Good. How are you? Good. What is the food that you can't even hear the word? Tuna. Delicious. I can see it. smell the sight. It does smell. It stings. Some are so much worse than others. I know. True. But it's always, you know exactly what it is. There's no mistaking it. You don't go, hmm, I wonder if that's mackerel or tuna. You know it's tuna. I gotta load mine up with celery and pickles and all kinds of stuff in there. I can't eat it. Jen, have you ever tried it or is it one of those things that in life where you're like, I'll never try it? No, I have a story to why I don't like it. Uh-oh.

2:03:27When I was little, at my babysitter's, she made tuna sandwiches, and then I still really didn't like it. But in order to go swim in the pool, we had to finish our sandwiches. So all the other kids finished their sandwiches, and I was sitting there. I did not want to eat it. So she walked out of the room, so I hurried up and stuffed it in a napkin and threw it in the trash can down below. And for some reason, she all of a sudden came back and I was finished. So she looked in the trash can, found it, grabbed it out of the trash can, and made me eat it. Oh, oh, oh. She should be in prison. Oh, oh, oh my gosh. Mommy hear us. She should be in prison. You can't just do things like that. No tuna sandwiches ever! Seems fair to me. Of course it does. She should be in prison, that woman. That's filthy. That is filthy. What a B. What a giant B you are. Maybe a time out. I'm on her team. Maybe make me a ham sandwich if I don't like tuna, you B. Yeah, maybe I don't want to eat tuna fish. Maybe you teach kids to respect their elders. No, Jay, what you're teaching the kids there is, hey.

2:04:37You eat whatever I tell you, regardless of whether you like it or not. That's not the way it should be. Take it or leave it. Wait a second, guys. We don't go to a restaurant and people are like, here you go. Your parents are not your restaurant. That's true. You eat what was given to you, and if you're not going to eat it, then you go hungry. If your kid comes to you and says, hey, dad, I don't like the taste of broccoli, you're not going to force feed it to them. Absolutely. Yeah, I had to sit at the table for hours. That's a weak bit. I will never do that. I'm not going to give my kid pizza and chips, but if they legitimately don't like something, I'm not going to force pizza. Aren't you going to give them pizza and chips? No, I'm not. Contrary to what you may believe, my fake kid, I'm not going to force broccoli down his throat if he doesn't like it. My fake son at home, I'm not going to make you eat anything. He'll get plenty of vegetables. Really? What if he doesn't like them? He will like them. No, he doesn't. He doesn't like vegetables. He'll like something. He'll like potatoes. Potatoes? He'll like potatoes. He wants candy. That's a really good question, though, because you don't want to force your kid, do you? You know if they really don't like something or if they're just being a pain. Yeah, I agree. I ate plenty of stuff I didn't like. Yeah, me too. So did I. I had to. Lima beans? Who likes lima beans? Who makes lima beans? My mom. But we got to think about it like this.

2:06:00I was mentioning we were turning onto Palomar Airport Road from Melrose. I remember where I was when conversations happened. I said to my wife, I go, shouldn't all adults think about their childhood and question the things about their childhood that maybe should be changed? I said, or are we just supposed to accept our childhood and say everything that happened during my childhood was fine because it happened and that's what I should do too? I mean, there's no use saying you wish this happened, you wish this happened, because you're not going to change it. But you have to realize that, as Woods has said before, as my mom says, nobody gets a handbook. You don't know. So it's perfectly acceptable to look and see that there was probably some mistakes made. Because you hear the stories about the kids that they had to sit there for hours. Yeah, you're not leaving the table. I'm okay with that. We don't make them sit there forever, and we don't make them eat a lot of it. But you were going to eat a piece of broccoli. Yes. L.O.B. I'm fine with that, Jay. I'm fine with that. L.O.B. But, okay, you may sway me here, but talk me through the process of my kid don't like that, so he's going to eat it. They have to eat something in the Greens family. So, okay, I'll try with broccoli. You don't like broccoli? Let's try some spinach. Okay, you don't like that? Let's try Brussels sprouts. Like, I'm going to try it, and they're going to have to eat.

2:07:18They have to get their greens. They have to. I agree. Are you going to make them sit there for four hours? No, I wouldn't do that. That's all I'm saying. They would get punishment, and it would be kind of like Pavlov's dog, but the reverse would be like, well, this is going to be the cause and effect. If you won't eat these things that I'm telling you to eat, then you're going to go to your room. You're not going to get dessert. M1minimi99 is on the line from San Diego. Are you there, Minimi99? Yes, I am. What can you not even hear the word, or it makes you sick? stand tuna or tapioca pudding. The absolute thought of that, it makes me want to... What about the two together? How about that? How about a tuna tapioca shake? What's that do for you? Is it the little balls that bother you? She's vomiting. What's the deal with the tapioca? It's lumpy. It's so gross. I agree.

2:08:13It's like fish eyes in there. Yeah, it's foul. It's so bad. It's so gross. When you put it like that, fish eyes, now you may have ruined it. We got her. I'm like, what's in there? Is it rice pudding? Yeah, it's just rice. She's gagging. Oh, I think it tastes good. Drink one of those shakes through a straw. Real good. How about a room temperature tuna and tapioca shake? Those are like the bobo drinks or the bobo whatever that people get. Hey, what about a tuna tapioca shake that's been sitting on a park bench in August? Thank you, MiniMe99. Through a big, thick McDonald's straw. Anything that's chunky. See, I have, mine is, you guys are going to think I'm crazy, brownie mix. Oh, you're nuts. You're crazy. I'll eat it by the truckload. My mom was making brownies, and I was sick. I was home sick from school, but I couldn't resist. I was like, brownie mix, and I licked the spoon, you know? That's gross. Delicious. And threw up right afterwards. I think that's gross. Oh, it's delicious. So good. I don't like cake batter. I don't like stuff until it's done. Me and Sienna. Cook it. Cook it. When I went to high school, we had to make brownies in home ec, and I had to leave the room and go throw up. Oh, my gosh.

2:09:27It was like nostalgia brought it back to me, and I was like, oh, my gosh. Seriously. Hey, listen. Here's something that I think has a disgusting texture. I'm all right with textures, but the inside of a tomato seems like it's in the larval state of something. There's no question. The seeds and the slime. Why are the seeds so soft? It's so gross. It's slimy. It seems like it isn't done. I usually scoop those out before I use them for my salad. Yeah. You ever use something in your salad that's like the white of an egg? Because that's a tomato. People that take tomatoes and pop them in their mouths. Disgusting. And they bite down and it goes. I can with a little cherry tomatoes. They're good. I can. Yeah, the cherry tomatoes. Those are good. They're sweet. They're grape tomatoes. I got to salt and pepper them up, balsamic vinegar, the whole thing. They're filthy. You know what mine is? What? My grandfather, rest in peace, used to drink it when I was a kid. Oh, my God. Buttermilk. Do you know what buttermilk is? Yeah. He drank it? My dad, too. It's a Southern. It's a big Southern thing. He put bread in it. That's what I was just going to say. He would take.

2:10:36I'll never forget it, Mikey. I'm selfified. I'm selfified. I will never. Oh, look. He's going to gag. Woods is gagging. He used to take, I'll never forget it. It was a green, green frosted goblet. It looked like a goblet. And he would put buttermilk in it, and he would crumble white Wonder Bread in it, and he would eat it with a freaking spoon. That's disgusting. My dad said it was like a dessert to him. He said it was delicious. I was like. Buttermilk. is what you baste, like, what you dip stuff in to cook it. Ew. You don't drink butter. That's like saying, yeah, you know, I used to take, it's like saying that you did that with, like, sour cream. Yeah. Right. Just eat, like, butter on a cracker. My family would take the bacon fat and spread it on bread. I'm going to vomit. Oh. I'm going to lose it. It was a Texas thing. No, it's not. No. I'm from Texas. That's a Mordor thing. That's an Isbel thing. They do that in Mordor. We don't waste a thing in this house. Oh, that's disgusting. Bacon fat or like the grease? Yeah, the grease. The grease. Oh, I've cooked like fried egg in bacon grease. It's delicious. Oh, yeah. But we would save it. But to take the congealed stuff and spread it like a jam. That's the most foul thing I've ever heard. Bacon jam. Yeah. Frodo just called and said that's the filthiest, grossest thing in the world and he eats lamnus bread. Yeah.

2:12:00That's so gross. That's so gross. What was that dude's name? Gollum. Yeah, Gollum would need it. Yeah. It's disgusting. That's filthy. Who's the first guy to give that a shot, by the way? Hey, there's some bacon grease in the can. Why don't we spread that on some bread and chomp down? Probably from the south. I will agree with that. M1 Shelby from Vista. You there, Shelby? Yeah, I'm here. What's yours? I can't have chili or ketchup. Oh, that's too bad. It's like half my diet. Chili or ketchup? Yeah. Ketchup is, I can kind of understand ketchup because it's a little sweet. And it's tart sometimes. It's tart and sweet. It's not sweet if you get the right kind. With french fries? You don't do that? Oh, you gotta have it.

2:12:58I never want it. Hash browns. If I don't, it's because I'm just being lazy. Hash browns. You know what will turn me off to ketchup? The little crust that gets around the spout. That's disgusting. Yeah. It's the scab. The ketchup scab. Yeah, when you take the white cap off of the ketchup and it's got the scab or the ketchup scab. Yeah. Shake it really good. How about the mustard juice? The water? Yeah. Ketchup water, mustard water. Disgusting. Yeah. What was I going to... I just had... Oh. Is it disgusting? To put ketchup on your scrambled eggs. Yes. Nope. I do it. It's fantastic. I do it too. With Tabasco. I know a lot of people that do it. Tabasco is okay. Mix them up. Delicious. Tabasco is okay. With ketchup and Tabasco. Oh, gross. Foul. That sounds good. It's amazing. It does. Sounds good. Buttermilk. With bread. Ew. Crumbled in it. With a spoon, pal. Oh. Maybe that's on the grocery store challenge.

2:13:57This week. No. Stop it. That's a recipe. You can't bring it. No, they have buttermilk in the grocery store. We can just drink buttermilk. I'm not playing that game anymore. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. If you want to play Name That Tune, give us a call. 570-1949. We will do it when we come back. What's the theme today? It's fat, right? All things fat. All things fat. Woods. You're going to pick me, L-O-B, Sienna, or Woods. The theme. And what can they win? They can win. We've got movie tickets. Let's do it. We're going to be playing Name That Tune here in just a second. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, it was certainly nothing like what we saw in Japan with the tsunami and everything, but there was some damage here in California, which prompted Governor Brown to declare a state of emergency in four California counties. Those counties are Del Norte, Humboldt, San Mateo, and Santa Cruz. Just thought you may want to know that. Also, do you blame Jake Gyllenhaal for this? Pretty crazy story. He was at the SXX...

2:15:55Let's see if I can say it. SXXW. South by Southwest. South by Southwest. Yes. Film festival on Friday and he was in the bathroom going to the bathroom in a urinal when a fan decided that was the right opportunity to take his picture. Oh boy. There was an altercation. Of course. Yes. Jake Gyllenhaal grabbed the camera and the guy and apparently threw him against the wall. And he's like, yeah, I did that. There's a time and a place to be taking my picture. Yes. I could not believe somebody did that. Yes. Self-defense. It's peeping. Yes. So I can't. I mean, somebody isn't somebody doing like a it's almost like a sexually. It's peeping. It's he's in the bathroom. Yeah. I think you can make it. case that he was defending himself? Absolutely. If I was a judge, I'd be like, hey pal, you're going to jail and you're fine, Jay. Go make another gay cowboy movie. I don't know that he would order him to...

2:16:54I don't know that you can order somebody to make another gay cowboy movie, though. He could, though. You don't know that he wouldn't. I don't know that he wouldn't. You don't know that he wouldn't. I don't know 100% that you are not allowed to order somebody to make another gay cowboy movie. I'm just saying, I don't think you can. I refuse to watch that movie because I have a crush on Jake Gyllenhaal. Oh, Mike, it's a good movie. He's got a crush on your brother. Yeah. He was at South by Southwest for his new movie, Source Codes. It had nothing to do with Brokeback Mountain, although you should see it. I knew how to quit you. I wish I knew how to quit you. I wish I did. It's a good movie. He said that to Heath Ledger? Yeah. Rest in peace. Or did Heath say that to him? He said it to Heath. They said it to each other. That's him saying that? Yeah, it's Jake. Excuse me while I whip this out. All those times? Yeah, it's Jake saying, I wish I knew how to quit you. I wish I knew how to quit you. Oh, wow. L.O.B. just tossed her...

2:17:51forehead against the microphone. Like, no. Say it isn't so. That's him? No, it's not him. It's Jake Gyllenhaal saying it to Heath, right? No, it's not. It's his character, Bryce Taurus. Oh, yeah. It's his character, Bryce Taurus. Don't listen to him, Lauren. Absolutely it is. That's where I got it from. Lauren just mouthed Woods. Is it really him? It's him. No, I didn't. I said, is that really his name? 100%. No. Sienna. That's where I got that from. From Brokeback Mountain. Yes. You didn't know that, Sienna? No. Yes, that's from Brokeback. Yes. Oh, my gosh. We're not playing with you. Play it again. Play it again. I wish I knew how to quit you. No, it's not. Yes, it is. I'll bet you a thousand dollars. I'll bet you a million. And you have it in golden rubies. Yes. And bouillon. And cougarans. I don't know. South African cougarans. I don't want to believe you. It's true. It's the truth. You don't have a choice. It's true. It's the truth. I'll show you the YouTube at the next thing. I've never seen Brokeback Mountain. I have. That's it. That's it. It's him. I swear that's it. I'm going to do some research during commercials. Okay. 570-1949. We're going to play Name That Tune, but Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Pretty funny story. You know who Chris Collinsworth is. He played for the Cincinnati Bengals. He's now a commentator for NBC. He went to dinner on Friday night in Covington, Kentucky, which is right across the river from Cincinnati. It was raining really hard. The restaurant he was eating at has an outdoor barge. Floated away. He floated 100 feet.

2:19:14He was on there again. Did they have to go out there and buy a tugboat and have to rescue him off this barn? He's just playing harmonica by the time they get out there. On a rocking chair. Wow. I read this story. Because you know, anybody that watches a lot of football, you know Chris Collinsworth. He's a pretty, you know, he's... Pretty together guy, but I can see him floating around this barge. Oh, man. That's awesome. Nobody was hurt. The tugboats came and rescued him off the floating barge. Wow. And then, obviously, the biggest story of the weekend, the semi-professional Tipsy Crows won their game yesterday. 19-7 over the San Diego Blaze. We had 12 runs in the eighth inning for the walk-off victory. We have people on the line. Semi-pro game, and we won. We are now three and two. Go Crows! What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. M1, Ian from Oceanside. Who do you want? Bad idea. Hold on. M1, Oscar from Chula Vista. Who do you want? You got it.

2:20:33I think that was the M1 Oscars at my game yesterday. M1 Marcella from Kearney Mesa. Who do you want? L.O.B. You got it. Yeah, get mine. Slices, I'll take a piece. Pick me. I'd like to put my name in that hat. Who's wearing a night tag? Do y'all read books? Blue or black ink? Sex with L. M1 Daniel from Escondido. You would like to select Sienna? Yeah. No. Now, we're going to make a change, and one of you are going to keep score. I'll do it. Yeah, I'll do it. I'm in. I got it. You got it? I got it. Don't cheat, Wood. So now you really have nothing to do during the game, Sienna. Oh, wow, Jay. Oh, wow. It's killing me. It's killing me. Wood, Sienna. Okay, okay, okay. Jay, you got to know better. Uh-oh. Wait, wait, wait. You're a dead man, Jay. She's red.

2:21:54Poking the tiger. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Sienna. That was rude of him. It was rude of him. That was rude of him. That was really rude. Sienna, at least the theme isn't fat and based on you like it's based on me today. Fat theme for Woods. Like Woods. Like Woods. Fat. It's for Woods today. It's about fat stuff. It's fat stuff. And it's movies and songs. We yell our name out if we know. It's movies and songs. So wait. For the songs. For the record, do we have to say artist? I'm looking for artist today. Artist for the song's title of movie. Yes. Oh, boy. Fine. All right, here we go. Here we go. What? Weird Al Yankovic. Darn it! Weird that you knew that. Here we go. Mikey. What? Mikey. Queen. What? That's Sir Mix-a-Lot. L.O.B. is so angry. That's my song. She's got it. Here we go. This one's tough. Lauren. Jewel. Wow. Whoa. How did you know that? The score is Woods 2. Poor Sienna. Sienna nothing. Lauren 1. Mikey 1. Don't point it out, Mike. Just let me be. Here we go. Fat drunken. Woods. Animal House. Look at me. I'm a big fat slaw. Austin Powers.

2:23:27Wait a minute. I've got more chains than a chain. I've got Mikey got that. I've not seen my willy in two years, which is long enough. Jay doesn't know that it's already been answered. Jay couldn't stop mouthing the words. He wanted to play the whole clip. He's listening to the clip right now and enjoying it with a smile. Mission accomplished. And we can continue. Woods. That's the hangover. Dang. I like Sienna. Sienna. Well, you know what? If you didn't get it, I would at least try. What's the score? It's Woods 5, Sienna nothing, Lauren 1, Mike 1. Here we go. Woods. The hangover. Jay. Two hangovers. It's a trick. Trick play. A trick. It was a trick. He fell for it. Here we go. Tina, you fat lard. Come get some dinner. Woods. Napoleon Dynamite. Man, come on, guys. Shut up, old man. Oh, man.

2:24:32Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. He's the old man who does insults. I'm so mad at him right now. Clearly. Here we go. Bad guy. Woods. Mikey. Lauren. Woods. Tommy boy. We should just call this the Woods game. It's not fair because Woods has a direct line of sight to Jay. I don't look at Jay. I look at the bullseye. You know that. Shut up. 80 pointer. Okay, last one is worth... Jay, we're five minutes ago. 44 points. Gosh. Really? Here we go. What's your name, buddy? Woods. That's Full Metal Jacket. Did you ever just run away with it? Man. Wow, Woods won again. You truly know all things fat. That's true. I mean, who else was going to win that thing, you know? Gosh, darn it. M won Oscar from Chula Vista. Yeah. Woodsy just ran away with it. It was a slaughter.

2:25:37I knew it. I knew it. He was at my game yesterday. He came to watch. Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it. How about that? No problem. Unfortunately, I had to take off early because my stepson cut his knee with a glass vase. Oh. Got to be careful out on those semi-pro fields. Yeah, they have vases broken all over them. All right. Hang on a line. He's playing a garbage dump. Yeah. He's jumping in dumpsters. I thought at professional games they have first aid. Semi-pro. Semi-pro. Semi-pro. There wasn't any help? No. We have an acupuncturist on our team, but I don't think he knew about it. Not even any Band-Aids in your... wife's purse or anything? No. That's kind of cool, though, that the team hired an acupuncturist. Well, he's our shortstop slash second baseman slash leadoff hitter, Adam, and he's great. Slash acupuncturist? Yeah, he's an acupuncturist. Right, so you're saying that he actually plays on the team. Yeah. For his job, he's an acupuncturist. For his weekend warrior activities, he plays on the Tipsy Crows. On the semi-pro Tipsy Crows. Got it. Got it. Great job, Adam. They pay us. They sponsor you.

2:26:43Stefanakis was the host for SNL this weekend and was pretty funny. I wear a lot of Axe body spray, but I live in a black neighborhood and it's called Ask Body Spray. And if you don't get that joke, then you're not racist. That's pretty funny. Legendary. Guy's good. I didn't see it. Was it good? Yes, it was. He's a real uncomfortable dude, man. Yeah. He makes me real nervous. What's the weirdest place you've ever fallen asleep, Sienna? Well, I saw someone sleeping at the bus stop the other day. That's a weird place. Sound asleep. That's a weird place. Yeah. I used to fall asleep behind the equipment of the radio station that I worked at when I was obese in 1991. Were you on the air? No.

2:27:51This used to run the equipment. I was a board operator. I remember the most humiliating thing was the morning guy came in one time and went, don't get up. Oh, that's sad. His name was Skippy. Oh, wow. Yeah. I fell asleep my first job out of college in the supply closet during my lunch hour because I was bleedingly hungover and I wanted to sleep for an hour. So I rolled up my coat, went in the supply closet and went to bed. Oh, wow. And slept at work. My boss had walked in to get a pencil. There's his newest employee passed out sleeping for an hour. I fell asleep in my boss's office. He did. I had a really bad hangover and I lied and I made the whole office feel bad for me that I had a really bad migraine. Oh, wow. And so he was like, just go to my office, turn the lights off and just relax for a little bit. On the couch? Happy birthday.

2:28:46I fell asleep in Grant's tomb. It was only two months old. Just under construction. I fell asleep underwater. Commercial diver. I'd been down there working for about eight hours straight. About 50 foot of water. Look at this guy. You fell asleep like in the suit? I fell asleep in the suit. Down underwater. That's scary. Didn't you have died? No, I mean, I'm just sitting there breathing. I'm floating. Otherwise, the most comfortable I've ever been. Talk about a waterbed. I fell asleep doing hostage negotiations. Yes. For Libya in 84. Yeah. I fell asleep when I was a Navy SEAL. During training, basic training. I was at Yankee Spring Training one year and fell asleep in center field. I fell asleep in a fire rescuing a baby. We were both okay, but I fell asleep for a second. Oops, not at all. I fell asleep winning the bro-am. I fell asleep on the podium at the Olympics when I got gold. I fell asleep with the set of my first porn shoot that I did.

2:29:51Too far. Apollo 13. Apollo 13. I fell asleep inside Apollo 13. I fell asleep in high school when they were taking my picture for best looking. Houston, we have a problem. Change of sleep. Oh, man. I fell asleep at the washboard abs contest. I fell asleep at the most fit senior contest in San Diego. I fell asleep when I was getting barreled on the north shore of Hawaii. I fell asleep writing a book in Press Your Friends, and I just was so tired. I just fell asleep on the keyboard. Oh, my gosh. My head hit those keys, and I woke up. Unbelievable. That's awesome. Oh, man. That is good times, isn't it? M1 Allen from La Jolla, where did you wake up one time? I woke up in the drive-thru of McDonald's. What? Mikey.

2:30:52Wow. Just driving home, you know. That is pretty scary. That's terrifying. People ever get impatient behind you? Just the fact that I have that observation is just mortifying. My wife's like, maybe I don't make observations of what happens in line at McDonald's. I have a story to tell you about L.O.B. when we come back. She just looked at me like, what are you doing? What's the story? I don't know. I just got a text from a listener. Oh, wow. Who's maybe revealing some information that we will give out on the radio. That's right. Come on.

2:32:08Give me the microphone first so I can bust like a bubble. Compton and Long Beach together. Now you know you in trouble. Think that guy's ever had a fresh spliff in his mouth? Think that guy's ever been to an outdoor barbecue? At the local park? Think that guy's ever said, how much for an ounce? Think that guy's ever nodded his head to show a girl what's up? Think that guy's ever ironed his jeans? with a heavy start. Yes. That guy's ever gone to high school with Cameron Diaz? Did he really? Yeah. I did not know. Snoop? Yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. It was unlikely duo. She said that she bought from him once. She did, yeah. She said she bought marijuana from Snoop Dogg. Yeah, right. They were in high school. She bought cotton candy. It was oregano. She was in an adult film. She was? Yes. Cameron Diaz? Before she was Cameron Diaz. It wasn't an adult film. I shouldn't say that. It was a very nude scene. Have you seen it? Saw it on the intranets. Softcore? Kind of. Was it like on Cinemax? Like one of those? Like Red Shoe Diaries or something like that? What the heck is that? What is Woods? Why are you sharing way too much? What? I'm not. Everybody knows Red Shoe Diaries. David Duchovny used to host it. On Showtime. Everybody knows that. Not just me. Jay, you've seen it. Nope. Don't shut my mouth. You liar. Lying.

2:33:39Even I don't know what that is, and I'm a pervert. Well, I won't pay for cable, so there's no way I can watch it on Showtime. I've stole it from neighbors. I have one of those books, if you flip it, eventually she takes her clothes off. I got a pin that if you tilt it upside down, her clothes come right clean off. Sure do. I had a deck of playing cards, too, but Jasper stole it. I got a snow globe if you shake it hard enough, her clothes come off. So this text says, hey, Mikey. Creeps. Hey, Mikey Show. I heard that LOB's phone somehow found its way into water this weekend. What happened? M1 Grant. Yes. I am actually dropped from my insurance for getting my phone wet too many times, too much water damage. I don't know how it always happens, but yeah, I went to the beach with my niece, went to the playground, and I had to use the bathroom. I don't know what you're supposed to do. I don't know. Maybe, Sienna, you can tell me when you have someone that you need to hold, and then you have to use the bathroom. So I was holding her up while I used the bathroom, and then when I went and used the sink, I had the diaper bag on one shoulder, her on the other arm, and I went down and my phone slipped out of the diaper bag right into the sink. Put the phone in the diaper bag next time. Yeah.

2:34:58The phone was in the diaper bag. It slipped out. Clip it on your belt. Oh. Oh, well. Yeah. You know, like a sheriff. Well, Jay, she does want to have intercourse again at some point, so the holster for a woman is not going to work. It's not really a good thing. Yeah. Weren't you wearing jeans? I was, but it always popped. Have you seen my phone? All these little scuff marks are from me putting my phone in my pocket. My jeans are too tight. Yeah, when you have tight jeans, it slips out when you sit. It slips out when you sit? Because they're tight. They're tight, so the pockets clench up. Yeah. I have that problem, too. And then it goes like this. Then it eventually pops out. What'd you do? What'd I do? Yeah. I took it apart immediately. And then when I got home, I put it in rice. That's what you're supposed to do? Yes. You drop your phone in the toilet or in the water. You're supposed to put it in rice. It's soaking wet. Yeah. So it's kind of getting some of its functionality back now. I'll probably wait it out as long as I possibly can because I want the iPhone 5 that comes out in July. iPhone 5 is supposed to have. You would say you want the iPhone when it goes to Verizon and now there's the iPhone. I know. I'm the same. But it's going to be so much cooler that I have to wait. I'm waiting. There's going to be another new one. That's all it's going to take. And you're going to live your entire life like this. No, no, no, no, no. Sienna, it's all it'll take. When it comes out.

2:36:21Someone will go, wait, you guys. In four months. In four months, they're going to do a version of iPhone 5 that's going to have this. I won't wait again. July. July is my cutoff point. I'll do it with you, L.O.B., and we'll get the phone at the same time. I bet you anything. There's going to be a new one, and you're going to be mad. Over under on L.O.B. getting an iPhone is January 1, 2012. You'll lose that bet. I'll take the over. I'll take the under. No way. I say November 2011. No way. Because if I don't get something, if the iPhone doesn't come out in July, the iPhone 5, I'll just get the iPhone that's already out. I've been due for a new phone for over a year now. You won't, though, because you'll be like, I waited so long. Yeah, if you hear that there's one coming out in November and it's going to be, and people are like, you're. You're going to hear four words. That'll change. These four words will play on your brain so badly. You ready? Don't waste your money. And you'll be like, done. I'll wait. She'll wait it out. No, then I'll get the droid. You just get what you want. I want the iPhone. Then just get it. It's time. I'm with her. It's coming in July. And you should see the specs that are on it. I know. She sold me this morning. It's pretty rad. You know what it's supposed to have? The coolest feature of it?

2:37:48You know the FaceTime feature that I showed you during commercials? I called Rebecca's phone with my new iPad and we saw each other and we talked to each other. It's called FaceTime. But in order for it to work, you both have to be somewhere where there's high speed internet. Well, the one that the new iPhone is supposed to be able to, you could be driving. You could be at the park. You could be anywhere. You don't have to have wireless. There's talks of it possibly being in HD. The audio quality is going to be so much higher. It's going to have like a shatterproof and a scratch-proof screen, which I really need. I need it too. I drop my phone daily. It's going to be thinner and sleeker. It's going to have like... a 14-hour-long battery life. Like, it's going to be crazy. That sounds good, but no matter what, there's always going to be better that's coming next. I don't think you can get better than that. And so it's exhausting to live your life being like, but what about the iPhone 17? You mean like this one over here across from me, Miguel? I don't. I get whatever's new. But historically... Yeah, but then you've got to get the new one. Yeah, I do. Historically, the Apple puts out a new iPhone like every summer, so... I won't wait for the iPhone 6. I'll be like, no, I'm not dropping it.

2:38:57A couple hundred Gs. I have the iPhone 5. It's fine. But right now, I bought a BlackBerry that was cool like four years ago. That thing is beat. Oh, it's the worst. It's the worst. But I've been waiting. You know what it looks like? It looks like a killer whale was swallowing. Gnawing on the end of it. Yeah, gnawing on it and swallowed it. Yeah. Scratches. Oh, then you do have glass. Scratches everywhere. I think it's plastic. I don't know. But the silver lining of the whole experience was I did get over one of my weird little quips that I have. Well, we were at the beach, and I have my niece in my hand, and we walked by the volleyball court, and the ball comes rolling at me. And usually I'm like, oh, don't panic, don't panic. And I will either just be like, sorry, like it was too far away, or I'll just pick it up and roll it because I don't want to kick it and have it go over. So this time I just took it, and I kicked it. Ow! Oh. Oh, gosh.

2:39:51Wow. Did you just kick Mike? Oh, my God. So hard. Oh, my God. Look at her boots. So hard. Oh, wow. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Why was your leg over there? Why was your leg? You guys sit across from each other. Where's his leg supposed to be? He always does that. Mike, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You bench press with your legs? I'm sorry. Take a picture of her boot, dude. A pointed boot. Oh, my God. The Terminator just kicked me. An elf just came in and goes, that's the pointiest boot I've ever seen. Mikey, I always play footsie with him because he stretches his legs out. Wow. You play footsie with Mikey? No. Are you okay, bud? Oh, boy. She kicked me like a donkey kicks. I can't believe your legs reach across there, Mikey. It slows down. How did Jay somehow find a way? I'd love to get you. Ouch! It slowed down in the way. I hit the pole in the way of kicking you. You grazed the pole. She got you in the shankle, dude. The shin ankle. In my fat ankle. In your cankle. She kicked you in your cankle. I'm sorry. You have the strongest freaking leg. I do have strong legs. I think she broke my leg. Oh, stop it.

2:41:09You have a stress fracture. She wound up, too. She broke your leg. She looked like she was about to kick a 47-yarder down the middle. Well, I did. Well, my point of the story was I kicked the volleyball right to the guy. He was like, nice. Nate Kading just came in here and went, don't kick so hard. Yeah, seriously. You're kicking too hard. You're kicking too hard. Well, in defense to me, I do have a personal training lesson with Beckham every Thursday. What are you, Morton Anderson? Good lord. I'm sorry, Mike. It's all right. I'll limp. I mean, I'll live. How did Jay figure out a way to make it into an insult about me? I know. Because he's a mad, brilliant scientist? Yeah, he has his legs all the way up there. I know. I have him, like, curled. Why are you sitting cross-legged in your chair? Oh, I'm sorry. Especially when you're not expecting it. No. I'm listening all the time. Bam! I think that's what it was. You were just startled. I didn't even kick that. I can kick way harder. Jay, you want me to kick you? No, I want you to kick him again. Her boot is shaped like an anvil. It really is. It's shaped like an anvil. I'm sorry. It's a woodsman. Somebody needs to get like an ice pack or something. Yeah. How about a cast? Oh, come on. 5701949 is our number. We got some good stuff for you. Charlie Sheen update coming up. I wonder if I'm the only person that knows this song. When I was 14 years old.

2:43:03I may have been obese and really enjoying this song a lot with no girl. No girl, no job, no coche. Who is this? Black dudes looking real Latino. It's DeBarge, bro. Wow. Soul glow real good in the back. Oh, yeah. Is Jerry curling it up real good? DeBarge. DeBarge. Look at those clothes. Just high pants under the nipples. Yeah, white pants up to the waist. Wow. Cumberbund? Yeah, Cumberbund. It's a good look. Just walking around the store. Cumberbund. Soul Glow Mullet. A Soul Glow Mullet. Wow. I like how they stuck with the black and white theme. I like how you have four DeBar songs. Oh, no, you don't. Two DeBar songs.

2:44:09You know all of it. You put that smile inside of me that makes it more than just a dream. You've never heard this before, have you? You think I used to sing that to my pillow? You're cleaning. Because there was no way that I would be sharing this with any female. Wow. All my friends making out to girls to this song, me. Just ordering another Big Mac. Just getting a hoagie real good. Meatball sub. Loving your food. Just putting some extra cheese on it. And by it, I mean anything. Pretending like you're ordering one for your brother, but really they're both for you. My brother doesn't like it with so much sauce. Really?

2:45:06Hey, Chubs, I know your bit. Don't worry about it. It's not a bit. It's a bit. It's for my brother. Sure it is. Here's your extra Coke, too, for your brother. I don't even like Sprite. I know you don't. I know you don't. That's why I got a Coke and a Sprite. All right, Chubs, we'll see you tomorrow. You got to move ahead. When I come back to get my brother food. That's right. I have three brothers. You sure you're on four? We'll see you later this afternoon, all right, pal? I'll have your milkshake ready that time. 570-1949 is our number. M1AK is on the line. And what was the word of the day? Oh, nice. Go on, Jay. Go on, Jay. Hey, Mikey, I was wondering why you haven't actually spoken on the Latin Film Festival that's going on this week. It's brilliant. Yeah, it's because I just am spending so much time. At the Latin Film Festival that I don't want it to seem like. Kind of burnt out on it. That I'm just burnt out on it, you know. Oh, really? You've gotten to watch some of the movies? Yeah, I just saw El Pueño. I saw Los Torigos. I saw Peragot Swan. Los Peros y Ojos. Y Ojos. And tonight I'm going to be introducing El Fuego. En Fuego. En Fuego. Bye.

2:46:33El Fuego. By El Fuego. Ironically. The fire by the fire. On fire. On fire by the fire. Yeah, I didn't know about the Latin Film Festival, bro. Is it going on in Little Mexico? I do not speak Spanish, but for those of you that do and want to check out the best in Latin cinema, there you go. You just call it cinema? I just call it cinema. Taking a trip to the movies? There you go. Thank you, bro. Cheers. Hang on the line. You're a winner. Winning. Winning. Hello. Tonight's 8 o'clock album? Like Joe Lewis and the Honey Bears. And the Honey Bears. Garrett! Album's called Scandalous. The name of that band just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? It does. I am about to play for you probably one of the worst sounding clips of...

2:47:42Sarah Palin that you've heard. Now what I mean by that is all the things that annoy you about Sarah Palin are in this clip of Sarah Palin. Talking to Hannity. They're making a movie about Sarah Palin and that's what they're asking her about. So how do you like the idea Julia Moore will be playing you in an HBO upcoming movie? Your thoughts? Well, I am all about job creation. And I guess I could provide some of these gals who pretend like they're me some job security. I would ask, though, if they're of the mind of spreading the wealth around that perhaps they want to spring for one of my kids' sets of braces or something as they capitalize on pretending to be me. She doesn't really look. I mean, she's a good actress. I thought Courtney Cox, Demi Moore might be a little bit more, a little closer look, no?

2:48:42Well, I'm absolutely flattered that you would say that, but no, I don't know. I think I'll just grit my teeth and bear whatever comes, what may, with that movie. Hey, Hannity, Demi Moore or Courtney Cox? Oh, they look more like her than Julianne Moore. Julianne Moore has red hair. Bea Arthur looks more like Sarah Palin than... I see Courtney Cox. I totally do. Courtney Cox. Yeah, those high cheekbones. What's this? Makeup will do a lot, too. They should have just stuck with Tina Fey. She was phenomenal. Phenomenal. But nobody would have taken her seriously. True. That's true. Sarah Palin sounded like she was going to cry. Oh, she sounded just annoying. Making a movie about her? What'd she do? Well, dude, it's not going to be positive. It's not like, oh, how cool. They're making a movie about her. It's going to be...

2:49:42A negative spin. I'll probably watch it, though. She could benefit from a public speaking course. I feel bad for her. True statement. Yeah. You feel bad for her? Toastmasters, maybe. She's deplorable. Deplorable? She's deplorable. I don't know about that. Wow. I just think underqualified for anything we've ever seen her do. I agree with that. And she racked up a couple hundred grand in shopping bills just on the house real good. She's a clown. She's a big clown. Yeah, I don't want her. She's yours. She's one of yours. Yeah, she is. No, no. You embrace her. She's Tea Party. Mikey, you embrace her. I don't embrace her. Embrace her. I don't. Mikey. Why do you have a Palin for President bumper sticker on your car? It's a trucker hat. Why do you have Palin for President on your T-shirt, your Tommy Bahama shirt? Uh-oh. I dare you. Eject. Eject. Eject. Eject. Eject. You have Palin for President air freshener. Like, where do you even get those? Smells like Pinewoods, Alaskan Pinewoods. Like mousse.

2:50:43Muse. Muse. Muse. Done. Done. Hi, Hill. Hi. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? We're good. We're good. Good. Talking about Julianne Moore playing Sarah Palin. Yeah. Made for TV movie. Good actress. Yeah. Really good actress. Great in nine months. And beautiful. Great in Boogie Nights. I could see her doing it. Great in Magnolia. If you say so. Lady Gaga has designed bracelets for earthquake victims. Yes, she has. They are red and white, and they have a little monster symbol on them. A monster paw. Sienna, you may not know this. They're made out of toe jam. No, no, no. They're made out of her hair. Oh, okay. And caca. Caca. Caca and toe jam and hair. They're red and white, and they read We Pray for Japan with a little monster paw insignia on it. They're $5 and all of the money. She's encouraging people to pay more than $5 for the bracelet, but all the money goes to Japan.

2:51:44See, that's great. She's going to clean up. Japan will clean up. They will make so much money. She's got a lot of fans, man. Jewel got into a car accident. Yeah, pretty scary. She was driving in L.A. and she's pregnant. Fire truck. A fire truck. Yeah, there was a certain kind. Like a volunteer fire truck was en route to a fire in her hometown. Sorry, she wasn't in L.A. She was in Stephenville, Texas. And it hit her on the passenger side of her car. She was rest of the hospital. She's fine. The baby's fine. But just so scary. I mean, oh, car accident when you're pregnant. She came into the radio station in Dallas. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Gorgeous in person. Not that she isn't gorgeous not in person. She's really pretty. Yeah. She had a big old belt buckle. She's married to that rodeo guy. Ty Murray. Yeah, Ty Murray. Ty Murray. Oh. He's on Dancing with Stars. Oh, boy. That guy is as country as it gets.

2:52:47Rodeo cowboy. That dude wears wranglers and big old belt buckles, right? Yeah. Boots. He's a little guy. I'm really glad I left that look behind when I moved here from Texas because it's so common. That's what Woods used to do. Yeah, I used to wear that until a year and three months ago. Yeah. Being from Texas and all. Being from Texas, that's what we do. You're still wearing cowboy boots with track pants. That's true. That's true. I have to keep a little bit. And you have a Bieber haircut, which is really cool. You didn't even know what to say to that. Yeah. It's true. We also found out... Howboy boots, track pants, beaver haircut. Good look. Hillary, I don't know if you were listening earlier, but we found out that underneath Wood's track pants right now is a jock strap. And the reason for that... I'm going to the gym. That's it. He's going to the gym. I'm going to the gym. And during a commercial break, Jay, our 47-year-old producer, pantsed him. Mistake. You didn't pants him on mistake. It's like a thong. It's a thong. It's actually nothing like a thong. It's exactly like a thong. A thong goes up. It's a reverse thong. It's a reverse thong. So it's actually nothing like a thong. It's two straps on both butt cheeks. But we can see your cheeks. So weird. If you were to see my cheeks under my pants, yes, you can see my cheeks. You don't have x-ray vision, so I'm in good shape. Thank God. You can see more than that.

2:54:04A jog strap is for support. So it's like a bra for your voice. And you use it, I guess, to work out. Yeah, when you're on the elliptical, things are bouncing. You don't want them to bounce because it hurts sometimes. It's like a jog bra for your piece. It's a jog bra for your piece. So you're wearing a jog bra. For my wiener, yes I am. And this isn't the first time. And we thought it was unusual. So we asked M1 Nation. to call and say, hey, is this appropriate or inappropriate? And they overwhelmingly said it was appropriate. Yes. Isn't that disturbing? Yeah, because I don't want to take a bag because if I have to change, I may not work out. I can just go straight from here. Oh, a gym bag. We suggested like those compression shorts. I have those and I may do that. It's a good idea, but they itch. They're itchy. Yeah. Not that this isn't, but. Yeah, just wear a jock strap. Okay. I'm gonna. He is. I'm going to wear one every day. Hill, what do you got coming up? On that note, what did I grab? I grabbed Vampire Weekend and Black Keys and Mother Love Bones, something off their self-titled record, and new music from The Naked and Famous. There you go. Yep. Ever seen any of those Twilight movies? Love them. My wife loves them. They're pure cheese and I love...

2:55:27that, all of it. Books, movies, loved it. They were on TV this weekend and my wife was watching it and I saw... Just your wife? No, I've never seen them. And I saw five minutes of it and I go, I can see why women love this. I don't love the movies, I love the books. It looked like... Yeah, books are better. It looked like Dawson's Creek. All the guys have their shirts off. Yes. Most of the time. Jacob. And it's really like, it's very, my wife loves stuff that like, if a teenage girl would love it, my wife loves it. I don't think you ever outgrow that. You don't outgrow that. But your wife doesn't listen to Justin Bieber, does she? No. Yeah. It's just the look. Maybe it's the movies or whatever. But and then they got the alternative music and they got like the, you know, Portland and this love that's like ridiculous or like crazy weird. Oh, yeah. Forbidden. The scene that got me that I went, oh, boy. And she's like, she's looking at this, studying it. I don't know which movie it was, but they were underwater.

2:56:46And she's floating one way up to the surface and Jacob starts floating next to her up to the surface. Yeah. She jumped off the cliff. Yeah. So she could die and be Dracula. Right. Is that the thing? She would only see him when she did dangerous things. Right. Because he was kind of watching over him. Her. So she would do these like death defying things so that she could get like a glimpse of him again. So she wakes up and this like. Mexican guy with a no shirt on. Jacob! Super cute. Is like... I'm old enough to be his mother. That's what Back to December. That's about that guy. Is that Taylor Swift song? Is that Lautner? That's Taylor Lautner. No way. You're insane. It was cold. He's the stinkiest guy. What? He looks like he would stink. Oh, yeah. You guys are insane. I have never gotten the Jacob thing. Me neither. Never gotten it. I am totally team Edward. The Edward thing. I think he has mustard. I go both ways. I go both ways, too. I do not go both ways. I'm team Jacob all the way. I mean team Edward all the way.

2:57:49too young looking for me because I am 37. Yes, his body is in great condition but his face, he's a little too baby face for me. It makes him feel a little better. Is that dude 17? My wife was looking at him like he was a pork chop. He would have the spit in the sides of his mouth. Stinky gym shoes, no socks. And mustard. He would talk to you and you'd go, do you have something with mustard? Do you eat a hot dog? He was talking about how he ate that raw meat to try to put on muscle. You have eye boogers in your eyes. Yeah, yeah. Just raw meat in the corner of his mouth. You've got one long nose hair sticking out too, pal. No way. Do I ever just say things like this because I'm just a tub of love? Just jealous as hell. To all that and an eight pack app. Lovely and talented Hillary's up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning. Mikey shows how I'm late.