The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/16/10

0:00KBCT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. I'm feeling alright. You feeling alright? I don't mind. That's a cool t-shirt, bro. Thanks, buddy. This is vintage, brother. That's sweet. What's he's got on an STP t-shirt? You know, it's funny, I saw it at Target. But this one ain't from Target. Really? Mm-hmm. Are you being 100% with me right now? I swear. I'm my mother. That was heavy. I think you're right. I think that that might be yours. This is vintage. It's good stuff, brother. Thanks, man. Let's introduce everybody. My name's Mike, but I go by Mikey on the radio because I really don't have a choice at this point. And the Mike show just doesn't sound as catchy. You know what I mean? You talk on a mic. I talk on a mic. The Mike show. The Mike show. Mike on the mic. Mike on the mic. That's awful. That's right. It is. I'm 39. I'll be 40 soon.

3:12My wife started hinting around to me about birthday stuff the other day. She couldn't take it. I'll tell you what the deal is. I believe that she couldn't take it. I believe that she's excited about plans that she might have. And she had a glass of wine. And she very like subtly and in a very nonchalant way was like, oh, and like out of nowhere. You know, we're talking about history from 1942. And she goes, oh, yeah. And speaking of history of 1942, you know, your birthday's coming up. And I've got one or two things planned. But anyway. Really? But anyway. Mikey, don't be an annoying two-year-old and be like, what is it? What is it? What is it? Oh, I am opposite guy. Really? Opposite guy. Is Rebecca like me? She can't keep a secret? She can't contain her own excitement. Yeah, that's how I am. You do that? Mm-hmm. She can't contain it. Absolutely. And so I know, and what I need to do is go, well, I'm just not going to expect anything. Lauren and I discussed that once. Lauren and I was the, we will call it the Potato Shack Summit.

4:34That's what Matt does at holidays, too. He doesn't expect much. No, as soon as I get him something, I'm like, I got your gift today. You want to know what it is? He's like, no, I don't want to know what it is. I'm like, are you sure? Poor guy. You guys, you're ruining it. I know we do. Stop doing that. First time I ever met Lauren was at the potato shack in Encinitas. And during that meeting, we discussed how we both had this similar thing where we set our expectations. Kind of high. And then when people don't meet the expectations, we're disappointed. And like if we get somebody a book in our head, we expect them to react a certain way to receiving the book. And when they're like, oh, cool. We're like, are you kidding me? You monster away and they don't flip through it. Right. They don't feel like in our mind, we imagine them being like, you've got to be kidding me. I was just Googling this book. And this book means everything to me now. And if they fall short of that, we're like, wow, really? Really? You monster. And we're both that person. It's just a gift. It's the thought that counts. I know. We'll try to keep that in mind while we're judging the reaction. Did you just say speak for yourself? I did. She did. Because I thought that we both agreed that we both did that.

6:03No, no, no, no, no. I meant to say we'll keep that in mind. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right. I'll continue to judge for my ivory tower. That's right. Write that down. Woodsy is our sports guy, and he is also our man's man. He's the man about town. All right? And... That Yankees hat is one that I have come to know and love. Every day. That's right. You're going to make a Yankee fan out of me just from seeing that every day. You'll hear plenty about the Yanks this year. I know. I can't wait. That's right. Should be a good year. Lauren O'Brien got the hair back in a bun today, which means she means business. Glasses on. Glasses on. Watch out now. Librarian. Scared to death. All she needs is a red pen. I said, hello, sir, to Jay this morning. He said, hello, librarian. Yes. Right? I don't know which one of us was more condescending. Does she have a little bit of that librarian look today? Absolutely. A little bit? She does. A little bit? A little bit. I think that this is in order. That's right. I don't feel tardy, Mike. Is there something wrong with that? Yes. Play it again. Keep going. I have no idea what this is. What's the matter with this? It's like grasshoppers tap dancing. Let it go.

7:35Sounds awesome. What is that? It's a mashup. I made it my beat laboratory. Oh, that's horrible. That ain't good. Eminem. Yeah. I made it my beat laboratory. There we go. We're getting it all dialed in. MacGruber just came in here. Nicely done, Jay. Jay is MacGruber. Is it normal? Yeah. Yeah. All right. That was weird. Now that that's settled. There we go. There we go. Now we're cooking with gas. Sienna. is our news girl. She is 24 years of age. And she's got the hair in a ponytail today. Long hair. That's right. When do you wash that long hair? How often? I try to do every other day, but I usually end up doing every day. Really? I can't deal with any sort of greasiness. Yeah. I'm with you there. That's why I wash my hair every time. You don't have any hair, Mike. That's right. And that's Jay over there in the other room. He's our executive producer.

8:46So it turns out that the Prius guy is most likely a sham. Wow. Uh-huh. We were speculating on it the other day, but it looks like it's probably officially a sham. Hey, you can call us, too. 570-1949. Go ahead. Yeah, Toyota announced yesterday. They basically stopped themselves just short of saying that he staged a hoax, James Sykes. And in case you don't know, this happened last Monday over a week from yesterday on the 8th. And this guy called 911, said, look, my car is going 94 miles an hour. I can't stop it. The accelerator is accelerating on its own. So Toyota announced that they are dismissing the story because they did lots of tests. And the test found that the car's gas pedal and backup safety system were working normally. Really? Yep. Can't wait to hear from this clown. I mean, dude. Can't wait. Now, will he get jailed? He wasted. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It doesn't say anything about jail time. I think that they're going to fight it. It's going to turn into this thing. He'll fight it. He'll get in trouble, though. Yeah, I think so, too. I mean, you can't do that. No. His attorney, John Gomez, said they wouldn't comment any further until a government investigation was complete. Really? Yes, yes. That's bad. I think that will turn out very bad for that fella. Let's see. Tomorrow, by the way, is St. Patrick's Day. Just want to get everybody in the mood. Top of the morning. Top of the morning.

10:12St. Patty's Day. Everybody wear green tomorrow. Don't forget. I'll pinch you. I will pinch you. You will get pinched. Okay, I got to remember that then. You have that, what is this shirt that you have? Puma. Puma. Yep, I'll wear that. I almost said Adidas. I'll wear that. I like a little pinch. That's right. So as a kid, he's got one in right now. There was an earthquake this morning. Did you know? No. It wasn't here. You didn't feel it? I did not. You did it? I never feel them, but some people did. Really? It came in this morning, yeah. This one was in L.A. Downtown, just east of downtown L.A. East L.A. A 4.4 earthquake. Really? Sounds like there was no serious, nothing crazy happened, but fire trucks and police had to go check all the bridges and dams and stuff to make sure everything was okay. I so don't even want to know about them when they come, dude. I just don't want to know. I've never had to experience this. They're not a big deal. The small scale ones are cool. They're great. They're not a big deal. I'm telling you, Woodsy. It's great. What's Woods going to do the first time he feels one? It's going to be in the door frame. Everybody relax. Can I tell you? Here's what Woods is going to do the first time he feels one. He's going to go, that's it? Yeah. That's what all the fuss is about? No way. He's going to stand in the doorway and be like, really?

11:36Oh, get with your earthquake. Get. For sure. Get. I'm scared to death of earthquakes. Scared to death. Always happen. They're no big deal. They're really not. They just, there's a little shaking for a second and then it's all done. Dude, I watched the World Series in 89. I watched that with my dad. It was awful. That's my lasting impression of earthquakes. I was there for the 89 earthquake. Scared me to death. That was the Loma Prieta earthquake. How's 4? Happened at 5.04 p.m. Yep. I was working at a place that made lottery tickets, and I was an inspector. What? Really? I was a scratcher lottery ticket inspector. I inspected the lottery tickets to make sure that they were not, you know, tampered with. Wow. That was my job. So were there like certain criteria? Like how many different things can you best with? You had to have a pulse was the criteria to get hired for that job. So I qualified. And yeah, you just sat there and you went through these things and I was on my break. I was on my break when the thing hit. It was bad, man. And it was the, I mean, I've been through a lot of earthquakes. That was the nastiest one I've ever. That's the only one I've ever really seen because I was.

12:54And still I'm a huge baseball fan, was watching that game, and it freaked me out. Was that the one where the interstates collapsed on top of each other? During the World Series. Yes. It was awful. And Sean was supposed to be on that. He was getting on the on-ramp. Thank God he wasn't. Getting on the on-ramp. Well, I'll agree with that. As perfect as he is, I wouldn't want the guy to get hurt. That's right. That's pretty nuts. But they're not that big a deal. People freak out about him too much. Yeah, sure. How is Sean? I miss him. Yeah, I know it. Yeah, I miss him too. I can't wait to see him. You don't even know him. I know. I can't wait. Woodsy has this, I don't know what it is, like a jealousy of him because he knows that I care about him a lot. Sean was Mikey's old sound defense guy. That's not why. Are you sure it's not that you're jealous? No, I'm not jealous. You've been out of shape about the Amigos frame. Yes. You're a little bit out of shape that I have a picture of him in my office. Yes. On your desk. It says amigos. Over and over again. It says amigos a hundred times. Are we talking about Sean? Yeah. I miss that guy. And when Mikey was putting the show together, everyone was like, I hope it's Sean. I hope it's Sean. I hope it's Sean. I hope it's Sean. And then they're like, it's Woods. They're like, I guess that could be okay. It wasn't a wah, wah, wah thing, guys. Come on. What was it? It's weak, dude.

14:13It was more of a, like a weep. They're like, oh, it's from the woods. That last one was me. That last little horn sound. That's right. That was L.O.B. Uh-oh. I got to let people know about the shamrock shortage. St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow. I know it. I am so excited. Why? But the people in Ireland, not so excited. Why am I excited? I'm Irish. Yeah. You are? You can't tell? Yeah, I guess you are. Look how fair my skin is. I got freckles. Get out of here. That's right. Well, they're having... Is Richard's a... No, I'm like a little bit Irish. Really? There's everything white, I am. Yeah. How about you, Obama? Write that down. Write that down, please. Good Lord. How about you? You're fully Irish. I'm a wee bit Irish. You're fully Irish. No, everyone thinks I'm more than I am. I just want to know why you're excited. Like, why would people get excited for St. Paddy's Day? Because it's a holiday. Are you honoring St. Patrick? Yes. Do you work tomorrow?

15:14Yes. Okay. It's not a holiday. It is a holiday. What's a shamrock shortage? A shamrock shortage is what's happening in Ireland, and the Irish are panicking. It's a little... The actual little plant? Shamrocks. Little plant? They're actually called Trifolium dubium. Oh, yeah. That's your word of the day, what a shamrock is really called. And they're having a shortage throughout Ireland because of the severe winter weather they've been having. Makes sense. Killing them. So they've brought in a lot of bogus shamrock plants. Really? They're plastic. It's just not the same. We're not used to that here. We don't actually break out the shamrocks for our... For our St. Patrick's Day, we break out the kegs. Yes, we do. The green beer. The green beer. I love St. Patrick's Day. Everyone's happy on St. Patrick's Day. Who's not? And don't everybody freak out, but apparently... I forget you're 24. I don't get excited about it anymore. I used to. Don't everybody freak out, but apparently the world's shortest man has died. That's really sad. Our lady, I will take the Pepsi challenge with him any day, boss.

16:29Tattoo, I think he had you beat. How tall was he? Just a little more than 29 inches. Oh, really? Because I am 30 inches, so he just barely got me. What's the big deal? You're next. I told you, he has you beat. Fine, man. You're next. You're next. I'm next? You're next. If by next you mean I died 20 years ago, yes, I'm next. That is weird, man. You gonna say something now, Brian? You all wrong? You gonna say something? I can see the smile in your face that you just can't wait to jump in on the joke. Well, I didn't know who was... Oh, I didn't know. I was going to clown on Mikey before you chimed in. Oh, that would be funny. You don't have to remind me. No, this guy, his name is He Ping Ping. It's his name. Are you kidding me? Come on. You can't just make names up. He's adorable.

17:29Where is he from? He's from China. Oh, my God. He's from a city in northern China's inner Mongolia region. Just like you, Mikey. You're from the inner California region called Gilroy. Why don't you tell everybody? He's been in the Guinness World Book of Records for being two feet, five inches tall. If you wear suspenders and work at... Celine Dion radio station. Oh, wow. Shut up already with that. I did that two years I did that tattoo. Tell everybody about your glasses that you used to wear. All right, it's worn out already. Tell everybody about your suit tattoo. Yeah, tell everybody. Oh, that's about me. Not my suit. What are you saying? Lauren. Where'd you get that tailored? Oz?

18:30Just Disneyland? Yes, I got it tailored at all. I get it. I'm a monskin. Speaking of monskins, Mikey, why don't you tell everybody I used to play Celine Dion Records? Tattoo. He's always so awake, Tattoo. Yeah, he is. He is. Well, He-Ping-Ping. Don't laugh. That was his name. That was his name. He-Ping-Ping. I love that name. He-Ping-Ping. He was in Rome for a TV show about two weeks ago, and he was complaining about chest pains. He was admitted to the hospital, and he died on Saturday from heart complications. Poor guy. So, he ping-ping. He will always be remembered. He's the world's shortest man. Aw. 570-1949 is our number. You can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Wow. He's tiny. He's the cutest thing. He's tiny. Handed the paper over to Wilson. He makes me sad. Aw.

19:29Look how little. He's a cutie pie. He's a child. Once he saw the picture and instantly went, aw. He ping-ping. He ping-ping. Can I see it, Mike? Yeah. As soon as I'm done being sad, I'm looking at it. What's sad? Man, his name was he. Ping-ping. First name is he. I don't lie when I tell the news, okay? Oh, yeah, I've seen him before. You have? Yeah. That's a poor little guy. Where have you seen him? PB? Where'd you see that guy? In the boardwalk. I saw him at Hodad's last week. He's getting a burger. He's doing a keg stand. I told you guys I'm a glutton for information. I've seen his picture before. Big time us. On the intranet stuff? Yeah. I've seen him before. I've seen pictures in the world. I was grabbing a drink in the Marriott and he came in and he was hitting on me. I was at a house party, and it was weird. They were playing house music, and he came in with a pacifier, candy necklace, glow sticks. He asked the guy if he could spin. He was passing out the jello shots. Turntable would be like a merry-go-round for that guy. That's right. He ping ping. Poor guy. That is classic. Let's see. 570-1949 is the number. So let me ask you. If somebody was videotaping your wife or your daughter.

20:52When they didn't have any clothes on in their hotel room, how long would you sentence them to in jail? Because that happened to Aaron Andrews, the sideline reporter from ESPN. And the dude that did it stuck a little camera up to the peephole and videotaped her. Dude got sentenced. Woodsy's going to tell you how long the sentence was in Woods on Sports. Oh, and I am going to pull the curtain back a little bit on Woodsy. Weird. He doesn't even know yet. I'll just, we'll tell you when we come back. Perfect. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Coming to San Diego Saturday, March 27th. Air. Air. March 27th at the 4th and B. Tickets at ticketmaster.com. Air's brand of electronica music, influenced by the synthesizers of the 70s, live at the 4th and B, Saturday, March 27th. Hostages you love.

22:46Tickets at Ticketmaster.com for air March 27th at the 4th and B. Must be 21 with proper ID. Hohen Audi Carlsbad is proud to sell what I think is one of the best values in the luxury performance category today. And apparently you agree because Audi is growing fast. Hi, I'm Bill Hohen. At Hohen Audi Carlsbad, we know a thing or two about growth as well. We've grown to become the largest Audi dealer in San Diego. It's simply because we value our customers above all else. If you've been even thinking about an Audi, I invite you to visit us at Hoenn Audi Carlsbad and see what all the excitement's about. Right now at Hoenn Audi, you can lease a new Audi A4 full-wheel drive premium for just $429 a month with zero security deposit. Hoenn Audi Carlsbad, I-5 at the Cannon Road exit.

23:3536-month closed-in lease for $429 per month with zero security deposit. Amount due at signing $1,653. Excludes tax, title, other options, dealer charges. Advertised offer requires dealer contribution and final negotiated price may vary by dealer. Flessie responsible for insurance, maintenance, and repairs. 10,000 miles per year, 25 cents per mile over, and disposition fee of $350 due at lease in. Offer expires 5-3-2010. To communicate the sheer speed of high-speed internet from AT&T, we decided to use the actors who usually read the legal disclaimers at the end of commercials for the whole commercial. Hey, Lisa, check this out. What is it, Dad? I'm doing my homework. I've got lots of homework. But look at all these cool videos I downloaded on the computer. They downloaded so fast. Dad, we have high-speed internet from AT&T. That makes everything fast. What did you download? Watch this. That is lame. What about this one? That is lame. This one. That is lame. Come on, that kid just got hit in the face with a dodgeball. Here, watch it again. You should choose high-speed internet from AT&T to download music. How much longer are you going to hog the computer? For a limited time, see store for details. Like I haven't heard that before. Gets me every time.

24:30Switch to high-speed internet from AT&T. Choose any speed for just $24.95 a month for 12 months with qualifying services and a one-year term. That's a one-year price guarantee. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT or visit att.com slash legal speed. The new AT&T, your world delivered. Taxes, excessive usage, and other charges may apply. After 12 months, non-discounted rate for internet service applies. For details, visit att.com slash offer details or for N71710. We are the members of Navy Federal. Some of us come from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and the Department of Defense. Some of us have families who do. As we serve our country, we also buy cars, finance homes, educate our children, and plan for retirement. During it all, Navy Federal is there. For over 75 years, they've been there. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. Navyfederal.org, Equal Housing Lender. BevMo presents the five-cent sale word, get one more. Yes, technically, that's three words, but when you can buy one bottle of wine and get a second for just five cents, why limit yourself to one word? Or one bottle for that matter? BevMo's five-cent sale is almost over. Hurry in for last-chance deals on wines you'll love, like Chalice Lane Chardonnay, Bridalwood Viognier, and Canoe Ridge Merlot. Club Bev members, buy one bottle, get the second for just five cents. Get one more and save more at BevMo.

25:53After reading, after discussing, after searching, you realize that at this school you don't memorize the answers to questions, you ask them. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. This report is brought to you by Tri-City Medical Center. Tri-City Medical Center is North County's online resource for world-class health care. Visit our new state-of-the-art website at tricitymed.org. On the 805 southbound between Claremont Mesa Boulevard and El Cajon Boulevard, just a little slow in the upper 40s this morning. Also checking out that 5 southbound. Looks like you've got a delay from Oceanside Harbor Drive and Cassidy Street. It's in the mid-40s as well. This report brought to you by Nissan. You could get quality now, get savings now. It's a Nissan Now sales event. The best deals ever on their best cars ever. That event ends soon. Get to a Nissan dealer now. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. I am Chubby. Woods. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I have a very keen sense of smell. Sienna. Todd and I went downtown La Jolla to Prospect. And Jay. I love that sappy movie.

27:02On FM 94.9. High speed chase in Arizona that turned into a low speed chase in Arizona. And they just got both of them. Look like kids. Look like teenagers. Lauren O'Brien now posts all the music that we play here coming in and out of commercials on the Mikey Show fan page on Facebook. So if you go to Facebook, you go to the search button. Just type in the Mikey Show and we're the one with 7,000 fans. Pretty easy. Also want to let people know that the song that we played yesterday of Woodsy singing Knockin' on Heaven's Door is now available for download at MikeyShow.com. And wait till you see the picture. Pictures. The pictures that Jared from CreateYourDesignOnline.com came up with. It's...

28:31Hysterical. Needless to say, my phone did not stop ringing last night with my friends and family that had seen it. It's so funny. And listened to the track and stuff, and they saw the pictures and died. Uh-oh, they're taking off. Oh, boy. They're taking off. Oh, no. No way. No way. Oh, my gosh. So the high-speed chase in Arizona, they just got pulled over. There were boards covering the bed of the truck. They just pulled the boards, the wood boards off, and what's underneath? That's sad, dude. We're finding out right now. Bags of something. No, it's illegals. People? It looks like illegals. It's bags of people. People in potato sacks. It looks like illegal aliens. That's sad. Dude, that's sad. Oh. Busted. Busted big time. We've seen a lot of people in the bags of people. There's probably eight, nine people in the bed of a Chevy or a... Looks like a Ford. Maybe a Ford F-150? Yeah. I mean nine people like contorted. At least nine. Under plywood. Oh, that breaks my heart, dude. It's sad. So, that's happening right now. So, 570-1949 is the number, and 949mikey at gmail.com is how you get a hold of us with a text message. Count them, Woodsy. How many? I think there's ten. Wait. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

29:55Eight to ten people, easily. In the back of that truck. Amazing. And I think there's more people in the cab. Could be. They're taking people out of the cab of the vehicle. They're rolled up in blankets and sacks. Wow. Woodsy's got sports. Jeez. You guys may know the name Michael David Barrett. He is the guy that was found guilty for videotaping ESPN reporter Erin Anders in her hotel room. He did this on three times that he was caught for. In three different cities, right? Three different cities. Well, he got sentenced yesterday. He was sentenced to 27 months in prison. It's the maximum allowable for such a case. But she's not really happy about it. This is her talking about Michael David Barrett. Cut to. It's a plan, but nothing's happening. Make it right, pal. Yes, I consider him a sexual predator because from everything I've read and I've heard and people I've talked to. This only gets worse. He didn't do this to one person. He did this to many people. So what happens after the videotaping? What happened if I had walked out of my hotel room and I had seen him there? Was he going to do something? So yes, I think he's a sexual predator. I think he should be classified as one. Absolutely. He's not being classified as one? I don't know. I'm sure when he gets out, won't he have to register as a sex offender? All I can tell you is that she wouldn't have said that if he was. She wouldn't have said that if he was. Absolutely.

31:21should be. He absolutely should be. He's done this to a lot of other women, too. I was reading online today. Forget it. Yeah, he's kind of a dirtbag. So he's doing it. At first, to me, I thought it was for the personal gain of getting something out on YouTube and maybe getting money from her. But it's because he's a peeping Tom. Yeah, he's a PT, as we call him. PT. Yeah. It's had a really profound effect on her. Here she is talking about how it's changed her. Cut one. I think the trust factor has gone away for a lot of things. It's changed me because I know that people look at me differently now because it's not coming off the Internet. You mentioned I got emotional with what my father said. My mother, my father, my sister, my friends, they've been amazing with just the words they say. So it's hard not to get emotional with all that. But checking into a hotel room, I mean, the second I think about it. Every moment of every day. So that's how it's changed me. I never used to have to think about somebody like this before. That breaks my heart. It just breaks my heart. Oh, my goodness. If that was my wife or my daughter or my sister or whatever. I feel bad for her. Sienna? I have a question, though. Do you think she'd be on Dancing with the Stars if that hadn't happened? No, she wouldn't. And it was kind of surprising to me when I heard that she was going to be on Dancing with the Stars. And this is what I say about it. If she can somehow make any bad part of that.

32:46turn into something good for her, more power to her. If she can turn it into anything good, she's had enough bad in her life that I'm like, whatever you want, man. She's really hot. She's really hot too. Good looking lady. What? Staring at her on the computer this morning. All right. So we talked yesterday about this awesome, awesome story because I love tense audio. Yeah. And we talked about this Andre Agassi, Pete Sampras thing. And if you guys haven't heard it yet, we're going to go ahead. And we're going to do a little repeat for you. Let me set it up really quickly. There was a charity event for Haiti. And Rafael Nadal, basically four of the best tennis players in the world, Rafael Nadal was playing with Agassi against Pete Sampras and Roger Federer for charity. They did raise $1 million for Haiti, which has been overlooked because of the kind of childish banter between Agassi and Sampras. So it starts off with... Pete Sampras imitating the way that Andre Agassi used to walk when he would go to serve. He would do this thing. Pigeon toe. Pigeon toe. Where he would pigeon toe. Really small. And Mikey steps. Okay, wait a minute. That's, I mean, definitely not necessary. Little boots. You know how you do it, bud. Show everybody. Shut up, Tattoo. I don't need to show people how I walk. Well, you know how you walk in the little tiny steps, too? Like, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. Mikey, you don't walk with little steps.

34:10I don't think so either. You don't at all. Don't listen to me. Oh, really? No. He walks with big, giant, six-foot-tall steps. Well, I'm not saying giant. He walks regularly. That's your bottom dollar you're not saying giant. You, on the other hand, tattoo. Oh, really? Little steps. Walk with the little steps. Yeah. You know the band Little Feet? Named after me. It is. I wouldn't doubt that. Isn't it F-E-A-T? Like a feet that you overcome tattoo. Oh, my goodness, Lauren. You're such a brainiac. Are you going to design a rocket ship for me to fly in? I've been thinking about it, actually. I've been drafting one up. Oh, really? It's a little tiny one for you. It's made out of aluminum cans and wheat. Recycled aluminum cans. That's right. So go ahead, Woodsy. Well, why don't you play the audio and let's hear Sampras making fun of Agassi first. I'm going to imitate you. So he's doing the walk. Say something. Say it. That's where it went wrong. That's where it went wrong because Agassi was laughing and he's like, oh, he's making fun of the way I walk. Big deal. Then Sampras turns around, looks at him and goes, say something. Say something. Egging him on. Egging him on. So the next part is you will hear Agassi then making fun of Sampras. And what he does is he pulls.

35:32the pockets of his shorts out and says, I have no money. Right. I'm actually doing it here. Yes, you're doing it for us on the webcam. Every time you do that and it makes me uncomfortable. Why did he do that? Because in Agassi's book, it's pretty well known around the tennis world that Pete Sampras is kind of a cheapskate. And they had been out one time and they came to a valet and Sampras goes, I don't have any money. He goes, wait a minute, here's a dollar and gives the guy a buck. So Agassi wrote about it in his book, and it was kind of a funny thing. But then he pulled it out to all these people that are watching. Because Sampras just made it serious. When he goes, what? Say something. And now the audience gets chilled and iced. So Agassi's just been put in a corner. Yeah, 100%. Okay, go ahead. I got this up as loud as it'll go. About my tipping? About my tipping. Okay. No, no, wait. I got a dollar. Their voices are similar. It's hard to tell his who. I know it. Now, again, what you miss is on the video, you see Sampras do this thing where you can see him thinking, what can I say? What can I say? What can I say? He's thinking. You see the face where he looks at him and goes, huh? Really? Okay. Whatever he says next is probably his second choice because whatever he first thought of, he probably went, no, I can't say that. Right, right.

37:00That's what you want to play, huh? It's all fun and games, so somebody gets hurt, huh? All right. Now, who said that? That was Agassi. Agassi. So, what does Sampras do? He's serving and decides to fire right at Agassi's head. Yeah, at his head, and in tennis, you serve cross-court. Agassi was not the cross-court guy. He was dead in front of Sampras. Sampras throws the balls up, hits it, and right at his head, he had to duck out of the way. Yep. Is it a hard hit? Yes. Oh, yeah. It's Pete Sampras. It's Pete Sampras. Yeah, but he can control it if it's like a little lob. You're right, Sienna. He can. That's why he fired it right at Agassi's head. At his face. Yeah. Dude, that is so messed up. He is the loser in that fight. Got personal. You got personal with me. That's Sampras. No, no, no. Everybody knows it already, Pete. Wow. It makes me so sad. I love it.

37:59I love it. It's so uncomfortable, and you know everyone there. They're there for a benefit. They're like, okay, I'm going to grab a cold drink. Try to raise money, not see a fight. Yeah, and people that watch tennis are trained, like spectators that watch golf, to be quiet at certain points and to be very poised. They're not soccer fans, you know what I mean? They're not Eagles fans. You're expecting a hockey game to break out in the middle of all that. Exactly. Well, so Agassi has come out, and he's apologized. Here's what he said. It was out of line. It was inappropriate. The night was on fire. We were all having fun. I was trying to be comedic. I only had a split second to make a decision. That's what that thought was. Because you got backed in a corner. Yeah, that's what that deal was where you see him thinking. I went for it and it fell flat. I was trying to get past it, but Pete didn't really let me get past it. He didn't really roll with it. I've texted Pete to ask if I can apologize in person. I don't even think he needs to apologize. So that was Andre Agassi's? That was Agassi. Well, that was a smart move on his part to be the bigger person and come out and apologize first. It's called a preemptive strike. It is, but it's like Pete Sampras was the one like, say something, come on, come on. It's like he's the one that should be apologizing. You didn't swing a racket and hit him in the head. I know, I know. It makes Sampras look worse. Funnily enough, I'm totally in agreement with both of you. Every time Woods says funnily.

39:24He knows that I know that he knows that it's a word. It's a word. Okay, it's a word. Yeah, it's a word. But it drives me bananas because it doesn't sound like a word. He's the only person that says it. Yeah, it's like if I... Yeah, me and Webster from Webster's Dictionary are the only people that say it. No, I think it was Webster from NBC's hit sitcom Webster. Your twin. Oh, he's right, bud. You know why it's funny, bud? Shut up, Tattoo, because it's true. Because it's true. The Oakland Raiders have re-signed Brad Gradkowski to continue to push Jamarcus Russell. Gradkowski actually played pretty well last year. He tore his MCL, so he was out. Russell's been working out in the offseason trying to get better. The Raiders desperately need him to play better in his fourth season. The Niners have signed free agent David Carr. And they've traded Sean Hill to the Lions. So David Carr is going to compete with Alex Smith for the starting job. And then we talked about yesterday, my main man from Notre Dame, Brady Quinn, was traded to the Denver Broncos. Hopefully he gets an opportunity to play. This is Mike Holmgren talking about Brady Quinn. Cut three. It was difficult. And I'm not sure it's really fair, you know, to be honest. I've said and I meant it when I told you that 12 games isn't enough to get a real good feel. And that's the unfortunate part of this.

40:51you know, three years he's been here and only played in X amount of games. And that really isn't enough. But you should have a pretty good idea as a coaching staff, kind of where this is headed. Yeah, so go ahead and sign Seneca Wallace and Jake Delholm because I'm sure they're going to be fine. Dude, I'm telling you, that Holmgren knows what he's up to, man. I'm sure he does. You don't think so? We'll see. All right. We'll just see how, that's why they play the game, pal, you know? And if there's one thing I love more than tense audio, it's baseball fights. There was a little incident yesterday in a spring training game, which is pretty ridiculous. Newly signed Seattle Mariner Cliff Lee. He's an absolute stud pitcher. The Mariner signed him this year. Big, big money. Well, he got in a little scuffle. He was backing up home plate. And Chris Snyder of the D-backs and him collided. And Cliff Lee kneed him in the thigh. And they kind of fell down. And so the next time Snyder came up, Lee threw one behind him. Then Lee threw one over his head.

41:51In a spring training game, this is A.J. Hinch, the manager of the D-backs, cut four, talking about Cliff Lee. In a second. Here it comes. Here it comes. Wait for it. Maybe not. What's the problem? I used a new studio. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't know what the deal is. Here we go. Yeah, we'll get it. We'll figure it out. Good job, Woods. Thank you. Thank you, Woodsy. Dude, you're dumb. So, this was a fun story. Our boy, Woodsy. We invited him over for dinner the other night. Was he holding one of the babies the whole time? Well, he couldn't make it. Oh. I would have been holding one of the babies the whole time, but I didn't go. We invited him over for Mexican food. Enchiladas. Enchiladas. Menudo. We invited him over for some tacos, and I was texting him. He said, hey, you want to come over for dinner? He said, yeah, absolutely.

42:56I said, oh, by the way, we're having tacos. Now, what people don't know is that Woods, he only likes Tex-Mex. He's from Texas. He doesn't know the real thing. Yes, I do. So, you know, he's used to the Tex-Mex. You're arguing with a Mexican about Mexican food. I forget we all live in Mexico. So I go, hey, just so you know, we're having tacos. You had to forewarn him. And he texts back. And this is what you need to understand about Woods. When you text Woods, he texts you right back. Seconds. Always. Seconds. Email, text, or phone call. Seconds. And so. It would sure be nice if other people did that. Goldfinger over there. I do not do that. I don't either. Nobody on this show does that. So he texts back, what are we having? We. And I said, Mexican food. And he texts back right away, what are we having? And I text back right away, we're having tacos. He texts back immediately, flour or corn. Why are you kidding me? How picky are you? And I text back immediately, corn. Oh, jeez. Mais. Silence. Silence. And I'm like, oh, my. And I can picture him pacing. Like, I picture him pacing his place.

44:28What am I going to do? What am I going to do? I can't. I can't do it. You can't have a corn tortilla. That's how tacos are made, my friend. Not all tacos. I think he would have gutted it out, except for the fact that he pitched that day. I was shaking. My body was shaking. He was really tired. I was so tired. So he couldn't make it. It was a combination of the corn and the torn. Sealed the deal for me. You were just done. Mm-hmm. Is the food going to be too hot for you, little guy? No, Chewy. It will not be too hot for me. I was just really, really tired. It's my Uncle Chewy. No, dude. I think it was probably too hot for you. What was it? Mikey, what were you going to do? Put onions in there or something? I know little guy gets all teary-eyed when you put the hot stuff like the onions. That's right. You can't handle it. Mm-mm. Hey, I got an idea, dude. Yeah. Why don't you come over and Mikey can buy some Wonder Bread? For the white boy. That's a good idea. Some Velveeta cheese. Maybe a little, maybe some ground beef on a slice of Wonder Bread. That's a taco. You don't want to get too crazy with a ground beef, man. That might be too spicy. Make you a Wonder Bread sandwich, dude. Maybe we get some milk. You know what we'll do? Mike can come over, bring the cow. You do it right out of the teat. It'll cool down your mouth, man. Did you just say teat? Yeah. So your mouth isn't on fire, dude. You don't want to get too hot.

45:57Yeah, I'm kind of Sally. I didn't grow up in Mexico, so I grew up in Dallas. Yeah, you did. So things get a little too hot for you when you eat them. You know what it is, too, Woodsy? You have to get used to it. You got to eat some stuff. Don't go crazy, man. We'll start out slow. Next time you go to the movies, you buy some hot tamales. Those little candies, bro. Oh, my goodness. Is there cinnamon in here? I'm on fire. Somebody call the fire department. Oh, my goodness. I'm sweating right now. I'm so mad. Well, when you think about it, you know, he's just not used to it, Uncle Chewy. Guy's just not used to it. Either that or it just doesn't taste very good. One of the two. You are going to upset so many people in San Diego by making fun of our Mexican food. Well, this is what it is. Okay. In a few years, you're going to love it. I promise you I won't. I can't wait. Hey, should we soak your cough drops in water before we give them to you, bro? I don't want you to get all, you know, on fire, man. Be careful. Poor little guy. Yeah, I know, man. You tell him, Chewy. That's right. 570-1949 is our number. 949mikey at gmail.com. There is a really weird story that I'm going to be telling you about President Obama that I, it's, at the same time, it's disturbing. It's both disturbing to me. It's just weird.

47:26The whole thing is weird. You heard about the person fainting at his rally? Guy was at a rally. He's doing a rally. He faints. Not the first fainter, right? No, no. Tell you all about it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm out at Brooklyn. Now I'm down in Tribeca. Right next to the narrow. But I'll be hood forever. I'm the new Sinatra. And since I made it here. This is the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Whether of the holidays or how we braved its worst storms, winter always leaves us with strong memories. Spring, however, is usually far more subtle. But this spring has the potential to make a lasting impression, especially if you take advantage of the Spring for Alexa sales event. With compelling deals on select 2010 models, it's never been easier to invest in the RX, the IS, or the ES. And while the opportunity is limited, the enjoyment you'll get from driving one will outlast all the seasons. The Spring for Alexa sales event, now through March 31st, at your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or Kearney Mesa. Lease the 2010 RX 350 for $469 a month for 36 months, with $34.99 due at signing.

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52:51fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report is brought to you by Paula Casino Spawn Resort. You'll want to hurry now until March 28th. You can win your share of $570,000. That's in the trunks of cash giveaway at Paula Casino Spawn Resort. It's free to play and it's easy to win. On the 15 northbound after Rancho Bernardo Road, we have a disabled van blocking the carpool lane. It's got its flashers on, but you're going to find some congestion as you approach. Also, Escondido on the 15 southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway. A little slow this morning. We're looking at upper 20s right now. some spots. This report also brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper guaranteed to be 99.99% jam free. Don't you wish traffic was? Hammer Mill Paper. No worries. I'm Stacy Cohen. FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. The Mikey Show. And you can call into the show if you'd like. Our number here is...

54:35570-1949. And our text, 949mikey at gmail.com. Love to hear from you. You may remember that back in 2008, people were fainting while going to see President Obama. It was during the campaign. It was during the campaign, which made me wonder, is he more rock star or president? Yeah, I've always maintained that the reason that the guy won the presidency was because it was American Idol. He was up against John McCain. Come on, dude. John McCain, who was... It's clearly American Idol. Who was not as good looking. And also was... 90. He wasn't... Well, he was 90, but he also... Had Sarah Palin. He had some pretty good points. Yeah, Sarah Palin, bad mistake. You think? Yeah, I think so. Bad mistake. Great candidate. Very poor decisions. Not the best orator. But, hey, speaking of great vice presidents, what about Biden, who was putting his foot in his mouth every two seconds? What politician hasn't? That's true. That was the worst thing I ever heard, though. That's true. But I don't know if you remember the fainting spells that were happening back in 2008. We're out of combat by next year. Do we have somebody who fainted? Hold on, we got somebody who's sick. Can we get somebody? We got medical attention coming.

56:10I think he feels like a rock star. Well, of course. People were fainting. Here's another one. Hold on a second, young lady. You okay? Why don't you sit down, though? Somebody guide her out and let her sit down, because she's just feeling a little faint. 2008. Here's another one, 2008. It looks like we have somebody who may have fainted. Give them a little bit of room, and if we have anybody from EMT here, it'd be great. When's the last time you remember a president where people were fainting? Take it backstage. Yeah, it's like the Beatles. Maybe there's just so many people there supporting him that it was just too crowded. Hot, really? Yeah. I like that. Out of oxygen? That's good, yeah. This was Ohio just a couple of days ago. Wasn't the heat there? I don't think it was the heat. Anybody here, if you lost your job right now?

57:13And after the cobra ran out. You can't see it, but there's girls with horn-rimmed glasses with their hands to their face screaming and crying. And the Beatles are walking off of the plane. They're throwing panties on the stage. They're throwing panties on the stage. It's like we've got somebody who might have fainted down there. So if we've got a medic. No, no, no, hold on. I'm talking about there's somebody who might have fainted right down here. Somebody really fainted. Yeah, all those. They're probably okay. Just give her or him some space. Don't know how him or her felt about that one, but... That's messed up. You're able to see it. Hopefully you'll be able to see their face. Well, people are fainting when they're seeing the president. He's a bit of a rock star. You know what I mean? He's powerful. Yeah. Powerful man. That's right. So that was a big thing. I just don't remember that with Bill Clinton. I don't remember that with George W. Obviously. Yeah, right? Well, we have some pretty trying times on our hands right now, too. That's right. Do you think that that's what the fainting was caused by? Possibly. That the times were so trying that they were passing out? We got a recession. We got a war. I think that it might be that we also have the American Idol as our president. No, I don't think so. So weak. You don't think so? Yeah, I don't think so. Why do you think they were passing out? I don't know. Hot?

58:31Really? In March in Ohio? Claustrophobic? There's a million people in one room? Heat spell in Columbus? Maybe they're stressed. Was it outside? Or was it inside? It was outside. Was it outside? Ohio is freezing right now. There's a heat spell. Maybe it got a little warm. And they're looking for change. I think, yes. And hope. Is that what it was? Yes. The lefties over here. The Mikey Show. I'm sitting to Mikey's left. The Mikey Show is. As am I now. The Mikey Show is myself, Mikey. I'm 39 years old. I'm a conservative Republican. Woodsy, liberal Democrat. Not super moderate. Moderate. I'm not going to vilify a man for the actions of somebody else at his. You tell me. At his. How I'm vilifying the man. You know what I mean. You're not vilifying him. No, I'm just pointing out that the guy is the American Idol. Well, I've seen some of the dunces on American Idol. They're nothing like Barack Obama. It's a popularity contest. Okay, you're not seeing what he's talking about, though. It's not like Obama's singing on a stage. It's a whole different thing. Brad Pitt was wearing a shirt that said, vote for Obama. I mean, it's just stuff like that. It was a freaking...

59:38So Brad Pitt can't have an opinion on the... No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that he had an influence over others because it was a popularity contest. I got an idea. Isn't every freaking election a popularity contest since you vote on it? Yes, it is. So if you don't want to be a popularity contest, you know what you do? You appoint a council maybe of... Other people, don't let the American public vote on it then. Because every election in anything is a popularity contest. You're 100% right. It's a popularity contest. For instance, when George W. beat Al Gore, and some say, well, he didn't really beat him. That's not fair. When he beat him, it was because more people voted for George W. Exactly. Than voted for Al Gore. Right. Barack Obama. And by the way, I felt the way that everybody felt. I felt that the man was good looking. And I also thought that he was really good at inspiration. No doubt. He's a great public speaker. I really felt that. But not a smart guy. No, I didn't say that. You said he's good looking as a public speaker. Like, is he qualified? No, that was my issue. GW was qualified. Well. George W. was born on third and thought he hit a triple. Hey, dude. Okay. We won't argue about him.

1:01:01Okay. We're not going to have a lot of argument over that. I agree. History will play out that George W., because I used to be a defender of George W. in that. I didn't vote for him. Right. But I used to be a defender of him in that I used to say, I don't think he's as stupid as people think he is. And I don't think he was as stupid as he let on to be. I mean, you're obviously a smart dude if you're the president. Yeah. He sounded like an... Listen, I believe that Barack Obama is extraordinarily brilliant. I just don't think that he was qualified to be our president. I think that a lot of the things that McCain said are now coming to fruition. Dude, I agree. And I didn't think John McCain was a bad choice. I picked the lesser of two evils because I didn't want Sarah Palin in the White House. That's the only reason I probably didn't vote for John McCain. I like John McCain. I remember the morning. I do too. I remember the morning that they announced that John McCain's running mate was the governor of Alaska. I go, really? I'd never heard of before. I'd never heard of her. And it wasn't because she was a woman. It wasn't because she eventually grated on my brain so bad that I wanted to stick a needle in my eye. It was because I'd never heard of her. It was the weirdest strategy ever. I get it. But here's the thing. My wife taught me this a long time ago. She was a W supporter. And she goes, listen.

1:02:26He's your president now. Get behind him. You're an American. Get behind him. 100%. Okay, deal. And so, you know, I support our president. Attaboy. I do. I support Barack Obama. I mean, he's the guy in charge. He's the guy in charge. Absolutely. You don't got to love him, but be behind him. But I will also point out observations of what I see as the obvious. As would I, too. You know, I mean, while it is going on, I'm like. Are you kidding me? Like, is it the Beatles or is it a president? I think that's kind of grasping at straws, though, because he has no control over that. He has no control. He's a good looking, powerful man. He's making people faint. Is he a wizard? This is what I want to make sure I say. I am not disparaging Barack Obama. This isn't a commentary on Barack Obama. This is a commentary on the American people. Absolutely. I believe that the American people, including my brother, Mark. Who said in the beginning, he said, I'm going to tell you, this guy makes me feel good. Yeah. I think that that's what it was about more than anything else. I think it was about the way that he made Americans feel. He made me feel real good. He made me feel good, too. Listen, how can it not feel good when a guy who is campaigning says, when I am elected within 90 days of being elected, I will bring.

1:03:48those American men and women home. Things change, pal. They do. They just, they do. Do they not? Now, hang on. Stop it. They don't change? No, no, no. He's still campaigning. Hang on. He said that. And when he said that, I looked, because I was reading it on his website, and my head turned to the side like a German shepherd, and I went... And the reason I did was because at the same time, John McCain was going, not only can we not... Not bring them home within the first 90 days, but we need to send more troops. We need to send 40,000 troops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The reason that he said that is because it was going to be a situation like Japan, where we are in Japan. We still have an American presence in Japan, in Guam, in all of those areas in the Pacific. He said we need to have a presence there. And the reason that we do is we maintain law and order. It's the same thing we're doing in Japan right now. Japan's like, yeah, we're all buddies here. But what happened was Barack got elected and then he went, we need to send 30,000 troops. And everybody was like, are you kidding me? You said you were going to bring him home in 90 days. You guys remember there was a guy, there was a president. He was the father of one of our most recent presidents. His name was George Prescott Bush. Remember him? Uh-uh. Yeah, George Bush. No, we don't remember him. Yeah, the first one. Maybe the first one. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:05:14Do you guys remember Read My Lips, No New Taxes? I mean, do things not change? Then we had all these new taxes. It could have been the same situation. Yeah, things change. Well, it either could have been that things changed or he just didn't know any better. Exactly. Yeah. Now, if there was a candidate that was saying the opposite, what conclusion would you make later? Well, you show me a candidate that's given a list of things that he said he was going to do and he stuck to every single one of them. I mean, it's... things change. Barack Obama is doing exactly what McCain said he was going to do, and that hurt McCain. Well, then the American people should have voted McCain in. Yeah. Pretty easy. Lauren? I think sometimes you're not privy to all the information until you're in a position of power. Until you're in his house. Then how did McCain know? The executive. Because that's the Republican stance. Exactly. That's the Republican stance. That's their platform. Well, he knew that that was going to be needed to happen, just like Barack Obama now knows. Then we should have elected John McCain. Don't you dare ever say that again. Can we save that? Can we mark that? If that's the case, you know what I'm saying? The American people should have said, that's the best guy. It's like you can't rip a guy.

1:06:23for when he's in that position now. It's harder than any of us can ever imagine. Anyone can say, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, and that's exactly what Obama did, and he's not doing now. Things changed. I will say democracy prevailed, and if we don't want a democracy, we can move somewhere else. There you go. That's true. I agree with you. I agree. I'm moving. I'm not. I ain't no Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp said, I'm out of here. I'm going to France. You don't worry about Johnny Depp, okay? He's doing just fine. That's my man. You love yourself some Johnny Depp. I do, man. Hey, Mike. Was that just politics on the Mikey Show? I love it. I'm excited. Yeah. We haven't done any politics. We got to get... I mean, I love to talk about it. I feel alive. I feel alive right now. I love talking politics. You should hear me and my brother, man. Oh, I bet. The guy, I mean, he was campaigning for Obama. We would talk one time, our record, Saturday afternoon, three and a half hours. No way. Yeah, because he knows his stuff. I know my stuff. We went at it. Three and a half hours. I could never do that. It's exhausting. That makes my head hurt. No, yeah. Three and a half minutes I can do and then I'm done. Yeah. But I love everybody. I enjoy it. I'm in a music video supporting Barack Obama. You are? It's a Dave Stewart video. Is it really? From Eurythmics. Huge. It's called American Prayer. It's sweet.

1:07:44I'm in a music video, too. What's it called? It's called Obama Lied. I was in that video. It's not a real video. I was in that video. Fake video bit. I was in a video called Obama Had Some Really Awesome Ideas. That was the video. Yeah, ad being the keyword. Give the guy some time. Okay. Give him some time. How much? How long is their term, pal? Four years. Give him four years. Give him four years. That was a joke. You bet. Get behind your guy. Hey, I love him. I'm supporting. I support him. Mikey. It's about people, not him. I'm giving the American. Dude, the American people. Yeah, it is a popularity contest, brother. So it's kind of an indictment on us. Majority rules. Seeing as how every show that people love now has a freaking judge on it. And you have to freaking vote on everything now. I got a question for you, Woodsy. Yes. If Barack Obama was a 285-pound white dude with a big dome on top of his head and a cul-de-sac hairstyle. He could be Dick Cheney. Wouldn't have won. Wouldn't have won. Would not be our president today. Yes, he would have. She's right. He would not. He would have won. You know why? Two words. Sarah Palin. Lauren is actually closer to the truth. She's right. Don't worry about Sarah Palin.

1:09:13Hey, Woodsy. That's what did it. That's what did it. Sarah, why did you have to? You messed it all up. All I could do was I sell Russia from my house. I know. That's what the problem was. That's all I said. Don't say that because when you say that, it makes you sound goofball-ish. Well, I didn't know much about foreign policy or pokey-dokey sort of government talk. Did you have to say all that stuff, though? Just say, you know. I didn't know what I was saying. I know, but you did. Say it. Tell us about your snowmobile again. Don't. Oh, stop it, would ya? Would ya? Don't talk about the snowmobile. Just stop it. Don't. Are you a hockey mom, by chance? In Alaska, we make snickerdoodles. Shut up. I love snickerdoodles. Please? No more of it. Kill us. Oh, just stop. Let's all just hold hands and go watch some hockey and moose fighting. It's not helping. It's not helping. Amazing. 570-1949 is our number. You can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. You know I really want to snicker doodle. I know I do too. I'm starving. Weird. What do you think about this? Mikey, my wife and I went out of town this weekend, left our 17-year-old daughter home alone. She's generally a very good kid.

1:10:41Oh. She consistently comes home before her curfew. We know all of her friends and she's an honor roll student. Well, last night I'm tooling around the garage and I noticed my stash of Johnny Walker gold had mysteriously disappeared. After we looked around the house more closely, my wife and I found other clues around the house. that pointed to the fact that our daughter had some sort of party over the weekend. Wow. That a girl. That a girl. At first, I wanted to really let her have it because I expected more of her. But my wife pointed out that we need to remember that both of us were a lot wilder than her as teenagers. I'm actually pretty sure my mother wouldn't forgive me 25 years later if she knew some of the things that went on in her house while she was gone. How to approach this situation, Mikey Show. That's M1 Wildman. Well, first of all, if we take our own guilt as a barometer for raising our kids, we are scarred. All of us. Yeah, every one of us. All of us. Because if we say, well, I'll tell you what. I will only discipline according to what I didn't do.

1:12:04Well, it's never going to work because the bottom line is, is that kids need and desire discipline. They want. I give you the craziest story. So I had a discipline, Jake, two nights ago. He was laying in our bed, which there's plenty of parents right now that are going, well, you shouldn't be laying in your bed anyway. He's three. And you got a point. And there's no doubt about it. Now, I will tell you that part of the reason that we do that. is that the reason that we started doing that with Jake was because Jake was showing affection. And he's autistic. And for a kid that's autistic to actually recognize that and desire it is really a good thing. And so that's how it started. Now, excuse over. So he's laying in bed and he's making noise. He's like talking and stuff. And I said, bub, you got to go to sleep. You got to go to sleep. What time is this? One o'clock in the morning. You're kidding. It's one o'clock. It was probably, it was, actually, I remember exactly what time it was. It was 11.50 p.m. That's five hours and 50 minutes after your bedtime. Yeah. And I got to get up in an hour and a half. And so he's, you know, he's doing his thing. And I said, bub. I love that you call him bub. I did too. So cute. Bub. I go, you got to stop it.

1:13:33Or do you want to go back to the big boy bed? No. No, don't want to go back. Okay, then you got to stop. I probably gave him three chances. And finally I said, hun, that's all I said, hun. And she knew. She's the executioner. She's got to do the, right? That's the way it is. She's got to do the dirty one. You called it no governor pardon this time. Yeah, all I said was, hun. And she goes, done. She goes, all right, Bubba. Instant tears. And I said really sternly, no. You were told you're going to the big boy bed. That's enough. And I'm like real stern with him, right? I'm upset. Oh, yeah. His eyes well up with tears. And it kills me. Inside, my heart is breaking. Breaking. Yesterday, this kid gets in bed. And like more than he ever does before, he grabs me and snuggles up to me. I mean, noticeably more. So cute. This is an indication that discipline is good for our kids. Discipline, they desire it. They want it. They need it. If we do this thing where we're like, I ain't disciplined in my game because I was bad too. Forget it, man. They're toast. What do you think, Woodsy? Man, I agree. I definitely could have used more discipline. I mean, there's no question. And it wasn't that my parents didn't care. We were always going over a really, really tight family. Super tight family. Still to this day, I talk to them five days a week, both of them. Right.

1:15:00And but, man, I just I got away with murder. Really? Yes. Your dad was not heavy disciplinarian? No, no. Really? Not at all. I mean, they were more so with my brother because I kind of softened them up for the blow, you know. But, man, after my brother was always like, dude, mom's friends with all my friends. She knows all their parents. Didn't know any of my friends till after college, really. Yeah. Now, what about you, Lauren? Well, I wasn't that bad, but I always. always got caught and it was because my parents had my sister before me and they knew to look for the warning signs when i was up to stuff and she was a lot more vocal than i was about like hey you shut up i'm not gonna listen so they would just give up with her and be like all right fine yeah so they were on to me and um sienna what would you tell this guy that's writing and asking this question about the discipline of the daughter? Well, if this was in my household and my parents were always very open with me about how hard they partied, they partied pretty hard, let me tell you. But if you had a party in their house, you know, there's no way I'd be getting away with that if I got caught. I'd get in some sort of trouble. You can't just have a party in your parents' house. Now, I want to know what M1s think of this.

1:16:18M1s or Mikey show listeners, when you call in, turn your radio down, get to your point, don't cuss. 570-1949. Do you think that you should kind of give your kids a break because you did it? No. Drop the hammer. You say, Jay, drop the hammer. Oh, I drop the hammer. Drop the hammer, but also in the back of your mind, some of that understanding as, you know. I understand. And I know Jay's that way. I know you're that kids will be kids. Oh, absolutely. But you also have to make an example because otherwise it's like, oh, they got away with it. Right. So you have to be consistent through the whole thing. You just, you know, it's like, hey, this is even though I know I was bad and I got away with it, you got caught. Yeah. There's something to be said about getting caught. But see, that's scary, too, because then they'll lie. They'll maybe lie and be devious to not get caught. Lauren. Well, I think with my dad, it was he saw the face of himself staring back at him when he looked at me. I got caught. I had a party with about 200 kids. What? In my parents' house. That's a wedding. Are you kidding me? Oh, yeah. They were on, there's three floors in my parents' house if you count the basement, the finished basement with like a game room. My dad's little baby game room with a pool table. My jaw is dropped open right now. Like that made me nervous just hearing it. Yeah. And they were in every crevice.

1:17:33of the house. It got out of control. I mean, I was 17 years old. I lost control. And my parents were on a road trip. They decided to come home a day early on my mom's birthday. It's her birthday. Oh, wow. I'm sick. And I was on the deck trying to get people to come inside because they were too loud and I heard my dad pull up. No way. What did that feel like? My heart fell into my feet. Oh, my gosh. And I was relatively a good kid. You know, I was an athlete. So this was the off season. This was like my two weeks out of the year to even hang out. And, yeah, so then I never ran so fast in my life. I was like, parents! Like in every, I'm running. And so kids just start booking it, filing out of the house. Yeah, my dad's saying, please exit in an orderly fashion. If you've had something to drink, do not drive. And they're just like literally like. I mean, they weren't doing this, but it was like they were jumping out of the windows. Oh, my gosh. I've jumped out of so many windows. Have you really? Yes. Mark that down. Oh, my goodness, yes. I crawled into so many windows. Mark that down.

1:18:45You old creep. I remember I had to go home without shoes one time. Oh, my gosh. Lauren, what happened? Well, then everybody left, and my three wingmen, my three friends, were sticking around to make sure I didn't get in too much trouble. And he's like, girls, have you been drinking tonight? No, Mr. Ryan. He goes, Please go home, and he looks at me, and his face, I'm not kidding you, it was like steam work coming out of his face. His face was beet red, and he said to me, he goes, I can't even look at you right now. I don't even know what to say to you. I have to talk to you in the morning. He goes, what? How could you be so stupid? And so, yeah, I had one of those, like, you guys ever do this? You wake up in the morning, you forget all that bad stuff that happened. You wake up, and you're like, it's going to be a great, oh, it's dead. Oh, it isn't. It's nuts. Now, what was your feeling inside? Inside, were you like, what a jerk? Or were you like, oh, I deserve this. I'm dead. I deserved every bit of it. This is my dad's coin phrase. He says, what are you, nuts? And you can't answer that. Yes. I must be, father. I've actually taken some time to consider that, dad.

1:20:03I've come to the conclusion that I am, in fact, nuts. And so, you know, and I'm actually glad you asked because I'm cuckoo. I figured it out. I'm cuckoo. Yeah, that's the thing, too. I came home one time drunk. And I was the brilliant kid that at 16 came home drunk and forgot his keys. And so I'm like... Throwing rocks at the window. So I'm like... I'm knocking on the door. What time? Two. And you're 16? 16 years old. I'm not slow that bad. Your poor dad. Oh, yeah. Just dumb. Yes, who is it? It's your son, dad. Drekky Drekerson. Yeah. Dad. It's your son, dad. I just love you. You open the door? Dad. Why are you taking so long to answer the door? I am sleeping.

1:21:03Just leave me. Dead. Come on, it's already. It's cold out here. Next day, we had to build a fence. And he made me build the fence. Oh, yeah, he did. And you had to use a hole, you know, hole digger. Jay, what are they called? What is it called? Post hole diggers? Post hole diggers. Dug that thing, threw up in it. First and last time you ever dug a hole, I guarantee you. Dug it, threw up in the hole. That's huge. My dad sat there, watched the hole to keep digging. I love it. The manual labor bit. It's genius. My dad did that every time. Get up at six. Let's go build a house. Oh, damn. Yeah. Let's go build a house. Yeah. Listen, if one of my kids came home drunk, I would do the same. I think I'm going to do that bit, too. I think you've got to have the discipline. I mean, the discipline has to exist no matter what. I don't think if they're home drunk and they're like.

1:22:02They're a certain age and they're home by their curfew. I don't think they should be punished. If they're drunk and they're underage? How'd they get home? I don't think. Question. I think if it's an occasional thing and they're not out of control, then it's okay. So what message are you telling them? Not to drink and drive. That is the one thing that I will not. I mean, I'm really big on the drinking and driving. that's something that I'll push. By telling your kids, don't drink, don't drink, don't drink, it's going to make them drink more, I think. There's something to that. But there's something not to that. I only know from my own personal experience, and I had parents that were so cool, and if I wanted to have a party, they would be there at the party, and they were like, the life of the party. But my mom would never let anyone drive. You know, it was always... Any people crashed at our house if they needed to? Like, it was a very, I don't know. Like, that's how most of my friend's parents were, too. They were out there all the time, and they were great. Funny that my military dad was not that guy. Yeah, we didn't party at my house. Yeah, my dad was not. My dad wasn't the life of the party.

1:23:15My dicks and margaritas. But that, I never got out of control. There was never a problem. It was always something that wasn't promoted, but it was accepted. Go ahead. Well, I think what Sienna's saying is if you know it's going to happen anyway, you can't be naive to what's going around. You have to be aware of what your kids are being told. If they throw a party, they should be punished. If they drink and drive... Oh, they are punished for life. But, I mean, if they have a few drinks out with their friends and they have a safe ride home, there's worse things in life. There's an expectation for me. There's an expectation. My dad had an expectation. The expectation is my 16-year-old can't drink. That was the expectation. Now, if we all go, okay, but every 16-year-old is going to, well, maybe. So that just means that if you get caught, you got to get punished. Yeah. You know, if you don't get caught, well, lucky you. But if you do, guess what? Dad throws a hammer. Dad throws the hammer down. Real good. Yeah, my dad threw the hammer down real good. This song, anytime I hear this song, I think of the end of the movie, The Hangover. Really? They still out. Okay, so. You know when they're looking at the pictures at the end of The Hangover. Oh, yeah. That's part of the movie. Yeah. So here's my question to you, too. Are there things that your parents still don't know about that you did? Oh, yeah.

1:24:39Woods, he just got a look on his face that said only about a million. Seriously. I mean, come on. Who doesn't have those? They know most, though. 570-1949. Call us with those, and we'll talk about them next. Oh, also, I got ten ways if you got the allergies real bad. Did your allergies get bad when you came out here, Woods? They did, and they're fine now. If you have allergies, I got something for you. Thank God. It's next. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. It's time for What's Cooking at Cox with Sam the Cooking Guy. Everyone loves lots of choices when it comes to great food, right? Well, the same goes for watching TV. And nobody gives you more HD viewing choices than Cox.

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1:30:44Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report brought to you by Shell Nitrogen and Rich Gasolines. All three grades will act as a barrier that shields and protects critical engine parts against performance-robbing gunk. On the 163 southbound before the 5, an accident over on that right shoulder. You'll see a couple cars. Looks like we've got a backup starting in that area. Also, College Avenue northbound ramped to the 8. A car and an SUV. They've moved both of them over to the right shoulder. The 15 southbound before El Cajon Boulevard, we had an incident there. There was a bunch of tire tread in the number three lane, but it looks like CHP has removed that, so you should be able to get through without a problem. This report also brought to you by redplum.com. Discover a great place to find printable coupons, coupon codes, and saving tips online, redplum.com. You'll save on your favorites for groceries, fashion, local dining, and more. Visit redplum.com today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.

1:31:47It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. Bird here from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning brought to you by the good folks at Guayaquil Yerba Mate. Hot, cold, it'll get you going. Share it with a friend and enjoy it yourself. Today we've got some surf starting to show slowly but surely as the west-northwesters fades out. Some new northwest groundswells are going to slowly fill in this morning, picking up throughout the afternoon. Right now, most spots running in that knee-waist, chest-high zone. Some standout spots seeing some shoulder-high waves with some pluses as possible. Definitely going to fill in more as the day continues. Relatively clean conditions right now, partly cloudy skies with some light and favorable winds at the moment. They could pick up quickly, though, so keep an eye on those. Tides are high right around now as well, too, dropping out to a low late this afternoon, or mid-afternoon, I should say now. So there's ways to be had. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, and for everything you need in order to go surf.

1:32:47Check out one of the South Coast Surf Show up to five locations or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you by Guayana Mate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon, and I wore suspenders. Woods. I buy sticker price for everything. Lauren. P.S. I'm going to get a wheatgrass shot. Sienna. That's why I keep the antibacterial hand gel in my purse at all times. And Jake. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. Sienna had the antibacterial hand gel out just a moment ago. She's got that stuff all the time. Smells nice. 5701-949 is our number. If you'd like to text us, we'd love to hear from you. It's 949mikey at gmail.com.

1:34:21One Batgirl texted in and said, Mikey, discipline is good, but be fair. Fair and tough. Too many bad things can happen with kids and alcohol nowadays. Chill. Oh, so? Text us. 949mikey at gmail.com or call us, 570-1949. Is there stuff that you did when you were a kid that your parents still don't know about? I burnt our back fence down. The one that you built? After you went to the vomit fence. No, I was like six. How did they not know? Well, they knew. They just didn't know it was me. They thought it was just a vandal? They thought it was a vandal. I get that as far as our family. It's the last thing I do. Right? I think the last person they expected was that cute little six-year-old. Amazing.

1:35:23Yeah, exactly. It was me and my finger, Tommy. Hey, let's burn the back friends down. That's terrible. Yeah, but I was scared. What were you playing with? Gas, matches, fire? Matches. Me and Isaac Lopez. Weird. Me and Isaac Lopez would do this thing where we would light this little fire and then we would stomp it out with our feet. Our little tiny feet. Tiny, tiny little feet. Yeah. It was karma that my feet never grew. Same size as when I was five years old. Heat stunts your growth, apparently. 570-1949. Is there anything that you did when you were growing up and your parents still don't know about it to this day? Woodsy? No. No? Yeah, right. Nothing, right? Absolutely not. I did get caught for a lot of stuff. You got caught for everything. Yeah, I mean, you know what? They weren't super involved with what I was doing, but if I did...

1:36:24If I did do something really bad, I got caught. You did? Yeah. How about you, Sienna? Yeah. I mean, they knew a lot of the stuff. And I've told them now how often I snuck out and everything. But there was one that they still don't know. And they'll probably hear right now for the first time. And it's one that a lot of kids do. What? And now that I'm older, I realize just how awful it is. What? When you take your parents' alcohol and you refill it with some water. Oh, my God. My dad would probably rather me take it than put water in there. I'm sorry, dad. I'm so sorry. He's finding out about it now. My dad had a bottle of pinch, which is really, really expensive scotch. And he's not a drinker at all. My dad has like two drinks a year, maybe. So we have people over after school and we take this 80-year-old delicious scotch, mix it with sun-kissed, Mountain Dew, you know, whatever we could find. the entire bottle of pinch. And I remember him one day going, where's that really good scotch that I had? I was like, no idea. Like, ran out. Never seen it. How would I know, father? Father? What do I look like, a scotch drinker? What am I, 60? Or mix it with Mountain Dew? Lauren?

1:37:39Yeah, like I said, I got caught for a lot, but there was this one time, and this is like my claim to fame, because I was a track star. Whoa, star. Oh, I was. She was. I believe you. But yeah, I went to this party, and I... Scouts honor. I was actually not drinking. I had track practice in the morning, but I wanted to participate. I went to this party and it got busted by the cops. And it was like we had a pretty small town. So when stuff happened, it was like a big deal. Right. And 27 kids got arrested. Wow. Wow. Yep. And I was actually in holding with the police. And I said, can I use the restroom? And they said. Yeah, go ahead. But you come right back. And there were so many kids at this party that they got distracted. And I found my way out through the laundry room. And I motioned my friend to come with me. And we took off like bats out of hell. We were just like running and running and running and running. And actually, we were running and there was an invisible fence where you keep the leaves corralled in. I don't know if they have those. They probably don't have those out here. And I was running at like full speed.

1:38:47hit this thing and flipped, landed on my back. That's awesome. Yeah, I got the wind knocked out of me. How much would you love to see video of that? Anything. I got so much air. Yeah, my friend was like 50 yards ahead of me before she realized I wasn't next to her anymore. And she came running back and I was like. That's amazing. She goes, I love you, but get up. I gotta go. Yeah, so we ran all the way to our friend's house. His mom actually gave us a ride home and didn't tell our parents about it. And the next morning, my mom's reading the paper. She's like, can you believe this? Wow. You're like, mom, those children are awful. I can't believe this. She's like, these kids. What are these kids? You're lucky you weren't down. I'm off to track practice. We'll see you later, mom. You've got invisible fence marks across your face and your chest. Darling, what are those marks on your body? Oh. Yeah. I was attacked in the middle of the night by an invisible fence. I thought I would try hurdles, and I slipped and fell. Imagine that. Well, I ran from a lot of parties because, like I said, Scouts Honor, I was at a lot of parties, but not drinking. I would be there, and I ran from a lot of them, and that was the only one where, like, 20, it was a bust, 27 kids. Straight up bust. Yeah, 27 kids. Oh, man. This is a good one.

1:40:11Now, the person didn't leave their name, but their parents don't know this to this day. Mikey, I had a fake prom date. My parents didn't like the guy I was dating. She had a beard. And he didn't? Yeah. It's called a beard. That's what it is? Yeah, it's called a beard. It's like a stand-in. Yeah. She had a stand-in? And he didn't go to my school, so I needed two tickets. My dad paid for the two tickets thinking I was going with a junior. My fake date dressed up in a suit. And Ty took pictures with me at my house and drove me to my boyfriend's house. Unbelievable. How in the world did she get that kid to do that? I know. Money? You know how she did it. Oh, stop it. Gross. You are a filthy filter. And you're being inappropriate. Filthy filter. Filthy filter. You guys' mind is in the gutter. Girls can get what they want. Absolutely they can. M1O side. Yes. What did you do that your parents don't know about to this day?

1:41:11My mom took me and my buddy when we were kids to a grocery store called Alpha Beta. Oh, yeah. I remember Alpha Beta. Skaggs Alpha Beta. I remember Alpha Beta. So we were in their grocery shop, and me and my friend were bored. We were probably like, you know, eight years old. And so we set up Ray Foggers at the back of the store on several ends of the store. Yes! And then my mom says, we have to evacuate. Something's going on. And then, yeah, they closed down the store all day. It's a fire department. Oh, my God. It was crazy. Dude. That's genius. All right. Fine. That's enough. Thank you for the call, M1Oside. That's hilarious. That's great. Don't know it to this day. That's crazy. M1 Marcy. Yes? What did you do? Well, it's not what I did. It just so happens that Saturday I got a call from my 16-year-old telling me that she was drunk and I had to pick her up. Really? Yeah. Do you know why? Because you made that deal with her. Better. You call me anytime. Yeah. That is responsible. Then when you do, when you do call them, they're like, why are you drinking? You're under age. I can't believe you're drunk. I can't believe you're drunk. Now I'm going to get my ass out of bed. I'm going to go pick you up. She doesn't sound mad. Marcy, how are you? I did. I was in bed with my two-year-old and he was like, Mom.

1:42:30I'm drunk. Come pick me up. And so I did. I picked her up. I had to pull over a couple times. Oh, no. Pulled her out the car. Oh, gosh. She's like, I'm so sorry. I'm so dumb. And you can punish me for 100 years. And she pretty punished herself all night long in the toilet. And she wanted to, I don't want to feel like this anymore. And all. Night long. Did you hold her hair back for her? I did. I put it back in a rubber band. I probably pinned her bangs. And so, Marcy, what did you say to her the next day? We lost her. We lost her. I know what she said. What? She just took her to a two-year-old party the next day and made her just first thing in the morning go to a two-year-old's party. Oh, wow. That'll do it. That was it. She let her off the hook after that. That does teach you. For sure. See, but I was like her daughter. You know, I would have called my mom. And it's more embarrassing to have to do that. And I think you teach yourself your own lesson than your parent getting mad and yelling at you for it. Is this real life? Yes, it is. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. And you're sick. That's the price you pay. Price you pay. You're throwing up right now. Is this real life? Yes. You're drunk. I go back to bed. Is this real life? Yes. And that's enough.

1:43:55Forget it. We'll talk about it in the morning. We'll talk about it in the morning. Is this real life? Yes. My goodness. 570-1949. M1 Joe, you there? Yes. What'd you do? Well, my parents were kind of strict military parents and said, you know, don't ever dye your hair. So I was going to dye it purple just to be crazy, you know? Of course. And then it came out fuchsia. I guess I dyed it the wrong color. So I always wear a beanie because I'm a skater. So I was in the house, and my friends were like, take off the beanie, take off the beanie. I'm like, no way, no way, you know, I'm going to get in trouble. So every time my dad would turn around, I would take off the beanie, and we'd turn back around and put it back on. Oh, wow. I love that. He still doesn't know. He never knew. Wow. Thanks for the call, dude. We have a question. Is he still there? Yeah, go ahead. So when you turned out fuchsia, were you, like, bummed? Yeah, I dyed it back. But purple would have been okay. Yeah. I don't get that at all. That's funny. That is funny. Man, I want a purple, not fuchsia. Thank you, Joe. Let's see. M1 Jersey texted and said, I crashed my dad's Jeep into the garage when I was supposed to be at school. He thought the e-brake failed in the Jeep and rolled. And thinks that to this day. She was stoked when he bought that. Oh, man. Wow. Man. Oh, man. Jeez, that's bad. 570.

1:45:23One ninety four nine is our number. Let's see. Let's do one more. M1 Allen, you there? Yeah, I'm here. What'd you do? Hey, Mikey, it's good to hear from you, man. Thank you, brother. Yeah. Missed you guys when you guys were off the air and finally got to hear from you all over again. Thank you, dude. Hey, my cousin and I, we always get together. This whole family, you know, between the Mexicans, you know, the Chicanos, we'd always hang out at a man's house every single Friday. Don't I know. Yeah. Right. And letty. And letty tops. So, I mean, my mom and my aunts and this and that, they would, you know, play cards, you know, till the wee hours and smoking and drinking and this and that. My cousin and I would sneak out and I would take my mom's car and he would take his mom's car. And we were about 14. Oh, 14. Yeah, 14 or 15 years old. Not even a license. And we'd drive the heck out of these cars. Oh, man. Throughout Chula Vista. That Coors Amphitheater was built back there? Yeah. So, yeah, we would go off-roading on two basically brand-new cars, and they never suspected it ever. Oh, my gosh. They're like, did we even drive in last night? Yeah. But never got caught, never got in a wreck or anything. Oh, my gosh. You are lucky, yes. I did that. You did? I didn't go, you know, off-roading or anything like that. I would just go around the neighborhoods.

1:46:49You would? Surrounding neighborhoods, yeah. You guys were way more ballsy than me. Really? Oh, 100%, man. I mean, I did stuff, but I was afraid, man. My dad was for real. Your dad is scary now. Yeah, my dad was military, and he didn't put up with baloney. He reminds me of Edward James Olmos in Stand and Deliver. Absolutely, man. That's what my kids say, too. They're like, we're scared. Michael, I need to talk to you for a minute. I need you to come into the living room. You guys were boys, though. Girls? I don't know. Like, my mom was the strict one. My dad was like, eh. Like, when he got mad, I would be so sad because my dad would never get mad at me. It'll be totally opposite my house if I have a girl. No, you will fold when you have a girl. No. I will not because some dude comes to the door that looks like me. Yeah. Get. You're like, I recognize you. Yeah, I know what you're up to, pal. Get. welcoming to everyone. He was so nice. Really? Yeah. I will be disciplinarian. If I had daughters, it'd be the same thing. I think that there's got to be expectation. You've got three kids, but there's only one you need to worry about. I know it already. It's the one that gives you that look. One eyebrow up and the other one down. What are you looking at, pal? Yeah, I know I'm six months old. I'll still take you up back.

1:48:05Kick your ass. Yeah. He gave me a look yesterday, and I was like, are you kidding me? It's hysterical. Yeah. This kid is the best. Luke. Yeah. He gives me that look. One eyebrow up, one eyebrow down. What you looking at, pal? Yeah. He goes, when you take a picture, it lasts. Hey, hey, hey. Nothing to see here, dude. I'm eating my dinner. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. He goes, Dad, it's called stage two food. Yeah. Beat it. String peas. Don't you got a taco over there, pal? Get. It's called string peas, pop. Wait till your kids start telling you to get. Yeah. Yeah, they're going to hear Uncle Steve. Those twins are totally opposite. Oh, they could not be more. Ryan, you look at him, and he's just bashful. He just starts laughing. You look at Luke, and he looks right through you. Right in your eyes. He looks into your soul. He's like, yeah, what do you got? What do you got? I'm going to cry if you try to touch me. Yeah, he's like Pete Sampras. He's like, yeah, you want to make a joke? Definitely. You got a joke, Dad? Something funny? Hey, let me guess. You just got home from FM 94 Ha Ha's? Yeah. Make some jokes for me? Oh, it's the comedy guy here. Oh, look. Comedian Daddy. Yeah, where's Woods? Hey, Woods, get, get, get. That's great.

1:49:12Get, get, get. Both of you guys beat it. Keep your voices down. Trying to sleep and I got to poop, okay? I'm trying to take a nap and poop in this dipe, all right? This dipe? Yeah. So if you guys want to make some more... Hey, why don't you tell Get Guy to get in here? Hey, where's Dave Matthews? Is he here? He's funny. Where's Tattoo? Is he running around? Yeah, Dad, because I'm trying to take a nap. All right? He is, dude. Watch out. Kid's the best. He's great. 570-1949. My dipe. I still haven't done the allergy thing. Got to tell you about the allergy thing. And Dude, You're Dumb is next. It's a new Dude, You're Dumb. New and improved. A brand new Dude, You're Dumb. And if you've got some, call us. If you know that guy, that's what Dude, You're Dumb is. It's that guy. Guy at the bank, guy at the grocery store, guy that just drives you nuts. 570-1949.

1:50:19Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. So many good shows coming to town. So little time. All right. Bad Religion. They'll kick off a three-night stand at the House of Blues this Friday night. All three shows are all ages. Devendra Banhar plays Belly Up March 25th. And Air plays 4th and Beef March 27th. A few good shows in May just announced. Tuesday, May 4th, The Hold Steady will play an FM 94.9 about the music show at the Belly Up. May 6th, you can see Drive-By Truckers at House of Blues. Ben Folds will play there May 11th. And OK Go and the Shout Out Louds hit House of Blues May 22nd. Sunday, June 6th, Mumford & Sons are playing an FM 94.9 about the music show at the Belly Up. And Kings of Leon are bringing their show to Cricket Wireless Friday, July 9th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. Coming to San Diego Saturday, March 27th.

1:51:41Air. Air. March 27th at the 4th and B. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Air's brand of electronica music, influenced by the synthesizers of the 70s, live at the 4th and B, Saturday, March 27th. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com for Air, March 27th at the 4th and B. Must be 21 with proper ID. Are you ready for Ram Truck Month? Ready for a Ram 1500 with a Hemi V8 upgrade at no extra charge with 0% EPR financing? Ready for more power and performance? Really? Ready? Ready to have your neighbors offering to wash it for free, kids climbing in the back bed, dogs that don't even belong to you jumping in to enjoy a more powerful ride. 390 horsepower that gets an EPA estimated 20 highway MPG. Ready for new features like a refined interior, multi-link coil rear suspension, and trailer sway control. So are you ready?

1:53:05Ready for truck groupies to beg for rides, bigger boats to show up in front of your house, construction workers whistling at your truck. It's all part of Ram Truck Month, home of the Hemi V8 upgrade at no extra charge with 0% financing. So get over to your local Ram truck dealer before March 31st and get ready to be the envy of the truck driving world. Ram. Financing for well-qualified buyers. Not all buyers will qualify. No extra charge Hemi V8 offer based on factory-to-dealer reimbursement. Dealer contribution may affect final price. Offer ends 331.10. Ram and Hemi are registered trademarks of Chrysler Group, LLC. Do you remember when you used Dial-Up to access the Internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed, and now you're doing more and more on the Internet. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with Dial-Up. And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than Dial-Up? Here's the deal. If you want super fast Internet without all the lag you get with DSL, switch to Earthlink from Time Warner Cable. See, Time Warner Cable has this advanced fiber network. So with it, Earthlink is 13 times faster than DSL. 13 times. That's huge. Seriously, getting Earthlink for your internet service is such a no-brainer. Pick up the phone and call them 1-800-CABLE-TV to get Earthlink from Time Warner Cable for only $36.95 a month. That's 1-800-CABLE-TV or go to timewarnercable.com anytime. Some restrictions apply. Do you think blue?

1:54:34If your business is chosen, you'll... win one week of paid advertisements promoting your business. Be creative and enter your Think Blue submission at FM949SD.com. That's FM949SD.com. Get a week's worth of free advertising just for doing the right thing. Think Blue, San Diego, and get rewarded by FM949 for doing so. Submit online today at FM949SD.com. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public by being burdened with credit card debt. To aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344.

1:56:02We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344 800-724-1344 Again, that's 800-724 Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report brought to you by McDonald's. You can try McDonald's new sweet blended ice frappes made with a hint of coffee on top with real whipped cream. Your day just got a little cooler and a whole lot sweeter. New frappes now at McDonald's. Heading on to the 94 westbound Federal Boulevard in accident. Looks like a motorcycle. Somebody's on the ground. Also, we've got three cars that pulled over to help. Checking out the 163 southbound before the 5 in accident. This one's a two-car accident. They're both over there on that right shoulder. This report also brought to you by Sears Auto Center. Sears Auto Center.

1:57:11or RASE certified technicians, no cars inside and out. Visit SearsAuto.com. Sears, life well spent. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Trying to give me a heart attack. That's what she's doing. She's trying. And she's getting there. It's going to happen. I don't know how she cannot love the tones. Of the talents. Of the talents. Aren't you supposed to be able to dance to music? Not necessarily. I just don't, I don't get that euphoric, like, I want to melt in my seat like you do, Mike. I do. It's like cotton candy in my ears. Love Chino Moreno. Me too. Love me some Chino Moreno. 570-1949 is our phone number if you want to get a hold of us. And let's see, we got some cool stuff for you.

1:59:08The allergy deal. First of all, Sienna has 10 ways. If you've got bad allergies, which I've had this surgery. I had surgery for my allergies. And it kind of worked. But I was doing something really stupid. I was using Flonase, which is a spray. And at the same time, I thought I was going to do myself a favor by also taking Claritin. The problem is Claritin. makes the stuff thick and the Flonase is working against it. Smooth. So they just counteracted one another? Yeah. How long did you do that? Until like the fourth time my allergy doctor said, stop doing that. So you did like an allergy speedball. Yeah. Is what you were doing. Yeah. I was going up and down. Up and down. Sienna, are these like natural remedies or? Yeah. So this is stuff we could do like naturally? Um, yeah.

2:00:08It says 10 ways to ease your allergies naturally. What do we got? The first one is folic acid. Oh, good. I've got a folic acid. No, folic acid is in like orange juice. Oh, it is? Yeah, you can buy folic acid tablets. Yeah, I've got a bunch of folic acid tablets back in the office right now, so I'll just go back there and take a whole bunch of them. Well, they say if you have high levels of folic acid, you experience fewer allergies. Okay. Did you say you have a bunch of acid tablets in the office? No. No, that is not what I said. That is incorrect. I have some high C that we can drink, and I guess that's got it in there. No. I'm stretching. I don't know about high C. All right. But there's lots of things with folic acid in them. Like what? Orange juice. Okay. What else? Scrub down the house big time. Cleaning. Make sure your house is clean because that's the biggest thing as far as I'm concerned. I'll pass. It says make sure you have a vacuum that is HEPA with a HEPA filter. HEPA. H-E-P-A. Yeah. Which will trap dust and pollen. Yeah. How about put an ad out in the Union Tribune advertising for a cat for sale? Is that one of the natural remedies that they have too?

2:01:19Why? Because I think that's a really good natural remedy. Yeah. You put an ad out and it says, you know, cat for sale. You don't worry about your cat. Or how about coyote for hire? I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Your cat's awesome. Yeah. A cat's also probably the reason for the allergies. A couple things too is no one to expect you're going to sneeze. Like when you open the windows, it's going to make you sneeze. So if you can, if you have an air conditioner, run the air conditioner instead of opening the windows. Also, you may want to consider jogging in the gym instead of the park. Oh, yeah, right. Why? You're not giving up your park jog, are you? Exactly. I'm going to stop jogging on my couch. Kick off your shoes. When you go into your house, leave the shoes at the door. They track in pollen, grass, mold, and all kinds of other allergens. I'm all over it. Wipe down your dog. Thank you. It may be your best friend and very cuddly, but they have lots of little germies on them. So they say get a damp towel before letting your dog in the house and always just kind of wipe the dog down. So much work. Work out at dusk, not at dawn. Why? Because it says that the mold counts in the air and they increase.

2:02:33Dusk is night, right? Yeah. We'll just start working out at night, me and you. I don't understand, though. It says morning dampness increases mold counts in the air. Oh, okay. Got it. Yeah. We're going to have to switch our whole routine. Yeah, now me and Woods are going to have to go running at nighttime instead of our early morning job. It's good for us because, yeah, right, we're going to get up any earlier. Perfect. Spice things up a bit. Wasabi, cayenne pepper, anytime you use spicy stuff, clears the sinuses. Really? Yeah. That never worked for me. Oh, it works for me. You know I won't do it. I will do it for you, boss. I will help you out. I'll make you some nice salsa that you will really like. I'll do it for Woods, too. No, you know I don't like salsa. You don't need it, Lauren. I do need it. My allergies are horrible. Does he know how to make hominy salsa, though? That's the thing. Yeah. Do you know, Tattoo, how to do that? Yes, I do, boss. You know why? Because I'm Latino. That's the reason. Is that what it is? I thought you were a Frenchman. Oh. I just realized I'm a Frenchman. What am I even talking about? Not sure. The stupidest thing in the world. You know how to make crepes? I can make crepes. You know why? Why? Because I'm French. I can obviously make French fries, too. Get to it, then. Yeah, everything. French toast. French toast, French fries, everything. Well, what are you waiting for? I can French kiss. I can do it all. Oh, gross. What else? Three more. Pick up a neti pot. When you use it, fill it with lukewarm water and with a little bit of salt. I did it.

2:04:02Dude. Ridiculous. It's a getty pot in my butt, dude. I'm not putting a pot down my nose, man. That's right. You guys ever hear an afrin? How about that? Forget it. What if it works, though? You know what? So does a colonic, but I'm not getting one, all right? Does it feel like you're, you know when you get water in your nose and it's cool and stuff? Is it like that? Because you're pouring salt water up your nose. This is an awful feeling. This really works, I swear. It does work. So does a Kleenex and afro. No, it doesn't. Not for me. Not for me either. God. If you get a lot of allergies and you travel a lot, there's a website you can go to called pureroom.com. And they tell you all the allergy-free, where they have the cleanest places to stay. Really? Stuff like that. So, pureroom.com. And the last thing is kissing. They say that kissing helps with allergies. So, pucker up and get ready to French. French it up, dude, when you get home. French it up. There you go. Back up? Yeah, honey. We got to start kissing more. Time to French.

2:05:11You've known them. You've seen them. They may even be you. Woods just points them out. It's time for Dude, You're Dumb. It's that guy. Okay, so 570-1949. And we're actually going to be doing something a little bit different today, right, Woodsy? Yes, sir. We've taken it to the streets, man. We want to see what you guys think. Who are the people that annoy you the most? I've done a lot of the ones that annoy me. We've done a lot of the ones that annoy us. What gets your goat? Yeah. Okay? Well, M1 Mac sent one in. It really hit close to home for the kid. What is it? The people that drive their cars with their dogs on their lap. Seriously? A two-ton vehicle isn't dangerous enough, and you've got three little teacup poodles dancing on your jump. Dude, you're dumb. Well, I'm dumb, then. Woodsy. Consider me dumb. Are you that guy? Four of them. Don't you have something you could put them in? No. No? No. What about their purse? What about your purse that you have? I don't have a purse. You have a purse if anybody has a purse. I carry a backpack. You keep a bag for your dog. My wife keeps a bag for our dogs. I do not keep a purse. Michael Esparza keeps a purse. Well, wait a minute. How about I loan you my computer bag to put the doggies in? You mean your purse? Your murse. Listen. They won't stay in it. Hey, listen. I have a great place for you to put the dogs.

2:06:38In my car, get a gate? Yes. How big do you think my car is? I've seen your car. You have a trunk that lifts up that you can install a gate. I'm not sticking them in the back. They like to stick their head out the window. Woodsy, you know where you could put them? Your house. I know, it's a crazy idea. You keep them at your house. What if I want to take them to the beach? What if I want to take them to a restaurant so we can all have a nice, delicious lunch together? What is the actual, like, I know you would never do it, but, like, there's got to be something that they say you're supposed to do with the box. Yeah, put them in a crate. You are? Yeah. Never. Is that what you're supposed to do? Never, ever. You would never put him in a crate. It's never happening. Can you get arrested? I think you can get a ticket. I would probably get arrested. Anybody, the first person in America to get arrested for having their dogs in a lap would be Steve Woods of San Diego, California. Well, if they're little dogs. It's true. The big dogs can sit in a seat and stick their head on the window. You're little gerbils. You don't worry about my dogs. I wouldn't talk to you about your new nieces that way. Those are my children. Now, can I ask you a question? When you're driving, this is a serious question. It's a giant pain in the ass. Yes. Huge, huge, huge pain. I let my dog on my lap, too. I'm going to ask you. Ask it. While you're driving down the freeway, if I were to look at you, I would think that's a dude's dude, right? Yankee cap, Stone Temple Pilots shirt on. Spit, dip in his mouth. Big old thing of dip. Are you ever self-conscious when Penny Bell is up on the...

2:08:06No. Apparently he doesn't care enough, though, about when he can get in an accident and what might happen to his little dogs. That concerns me. And I drive a lot safer when they're in the car. What about everybody else on the road? What about them? Can't control how safe they're going to drive. Maybe they keep their eyes on their own paper, just like I do. That's why it's called an accident. You can't always predict it. Touche, whatever that means. You keep your eyes on your own papers. You keep your eyes on your paper, you on yours, you on yours, and I'll keep my record. that are going to jump out into my car. They're not poodles. They're Yorkshire's. And the dude you're dumb, they were poodles. She, let me tell you something. He kept poodles. Lauren O'Brien knows absolutely that they're not poodles. She just knows it makes you crazy when she says you keep those poodles. Or gerbils or any other disparaging comment. Go ahead. Guinea pigs. This one I really like. This is from M1 Canuck. Yeah. Canuck. Canuck. Canuck. Canuck. Canuck. The extremely busy person. Like, hey, man. How have you been? Yeah, right. I sleep six hours a day. Oh, I've been good. Just extremely busy. Just so many things going on. Blah, blah, blah. And you know what? This is America, dude. This is the land of the busy. What? Go ahead. It's me.

2:09:25Yeah. I'm always busy. Like the person that is, they're just so overwhelmed. Like, oh my God, everything. Life is so crazy. It's like that for everybody. That's me. No, you don't show it though. Yeah. No, you're like, hey, what's up? Yeah. You're still, maybe in your head it's spinning. Yeah. Because I do. But in the hour, you're like, hey, whatever. We all have stuff going on. How about when the person is really, really busy, but you see evidence. that they're not as busy as they say they are. Do you know what I'm talking about? No, I know exactly what you mean. Like me? No, no, no, no. Like you talk to somebody and they're like, oh my gosh, I'm so busy. I can't even tell you. But meanwhile, their Facebook every five seconds is updated every five seconds. And they're like, you know, watching TV, painting their nails, you know, watching. watching Lost painting my nails. Many petty. Yeah. And you're just buried. I'm buried. I'm buried. I used to say that to my wife. It's a joke. She hates that bit of, honey, I can't talk. I'm buried. She's like, easy, President Obama. You're fine. You're a recruiter. You're a recruiter. You're okay. Todd says the same thing. I'm busy. Babe, will you just go get the laundry out of the drive? I'm busy.

2:10:45I mean, I know he's joking and he'll eventually do it. I'm busy. Yeah. You're not. You're not busy. The extremely busy person. Dude, you are dumb. I'm dumb. This one's my favorite. What is it? It's the guy at the gym who stares at you because your exercise is wrong. And he wants to come over. Hey, dude, you're not doing that right. He wants to show you. how great he is, and what a great, great lifter he is. And that is from M1 Ryan Fox. Sometimes your form ain't right, dude. You know that. I've told you that for years. M1 Jazzbo, excuse me. My form is fine, dude. I think you should let me help you work on it. I don't think so, but I guarantee you you're that guy at the gym, Frankie. Frankie knows. You definitely are. Listen, Woods, I've been watching you, bro. We all know that. We know that from trees, cars. I watched you one baseball game from a tree with binoculars, and you're making it into a big thing. It's a weird deal, dude. You're making it weird. You're making it weird. You're the one in the tree. It was a better view, right? It was a better view of my boy. I'm trying to take some. I was doing some film on you, dude. How'd I do? You were great. I watched the videotape five times last night to review your form. How was my form?

2:12:04I'm going to go over the tape with you this weekend, dude. I'm going to bring it over. We're going to watch it in slow motion while we're having a glass in Malone. My wife Jamie's going to be in town this weekend, so I think you're going to, yeah, you'll be. I'll wait till next weekend. Yeah, maybe next weekend. We'll talk to you about the weights. Okay. You got to keep your butt down while you're lifting. You're lifting your butt. Maybe you can show him. No. Here's what you do. Yeah. This will stop you right away. I got to put my hand under your butt. Yeah, that'll work. All right? No. And then you lift. If your hand comes off, if your buns come off of my hand, you're doing it wrong, dude. My buns will be off your hand. You can rest assured. You got to keep the buns on the hand, dude. It's called the bun test, right? It's the bun test. The bun test. I bet Frankie could help you with a clean and jerk. You got bad form. You got bad form. What's the matter with you? You got bad form. I'm speechless right now. What else you got? Gym guy. Dude, again, keep your eyes on your own paper, okay, pal? You worry about yourself, I worry about me. Dude, you're dumb. Thank you. Is that it? That's it. I got a lot of people calling in with dude, you're dumbs. M1, dog bear. Dog bait. Dog bait. Go ahead. Mikey, let me set it up for you. We got a two-lane road with a turn lane in the middle, and instead of a person in front of you turning from the turn lane,

2:13:30They sit in the lane that you're supposed to be driving in. Dave, you're dumb. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. And we've seen that, man. Every day. It's the worst. M1 Punch. What's up, guys? I used to be a teller at a credit union out here, and I would hate the guy that would come up on the cell phone and give you his check. No deposit ticket and just look at you like you're supposed to know how to do it. Hey, Steve Woods, how are you? You're here to cash your check? Oh, my God. That's me. Do you really? You don't fill out the form? Uh-uh. Dude, you're dumb. And you're talking on your cell, Woodsy? Oh, I would get mad. Me too. I think that anybody in the service industry, it doesn't matter what you do, I think anybody in the service industry, they don't like it when you're on your phone. Yeah, we've had to put up signs now for everybody and they still don't heed them. And say, please, just for the two seconds that you're doing the order or whatever. Don't worry about it. Do your job. Don't worry about me. What about when you're in the checkout line at a grocery store? Always on my phone. I'm on my phone. Always on my phone. Hey, do your job. Check my groceries. I'm on the phone. I'm talking to my wife. What if I had to communicate with you and ask you where you found this? Don't worry about where I found it.

2:14:48Ring it up. Do you see the expiration date on this? You might want to get a new one. Again, worry about yourself. I like it the way I like it. You really want it curdled? Yeah. I love curdled milk. At a bank, you talk because you need to give them your information. How do you have the cash back? Blah, blah, blah. But at a grocery store, you don't really need to talk and say, hey, how's it going? Sometimes to do with sorry. Yeah, here's my Ralph's card. Okay, so when a waiter comes to your table, you guys just point to the menu what you want? Sometimes. Oh, my gosh. If I got my Bluetooth in, I'm at the grocery store. I take the Bluetooth out for, I go, hang on a second. I take my Bluetooth out, and I go through the process of, would you like cash back? No, thank you. And can you pin it? Can you put in your pin number, please? Sure. Paper or plastic? Plastic. Do the little thing. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All done. Why do you choose plastic, first of all? I do, too. I do, too. They don't ask me. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because the plastic, I can grab nine of them. Yeah, and they ran out of whale skin, so. That's right. They ran out of whale skin, and so I couldn't get anything else. Whale skin? Yeah, that's what I asked for. Whale skin bags. At first was whale skin bags. Or styrofoam. Either one. I've heard of anything. Yeah, I'll tell you how I want my groceries. Can you put them in a burning tire?

2:16:04Or an American Bald Eagle. An American Bald Eagle? Can you go to a taxidermy, get an American Bald Eagle, and put my groceries inside of them? Look at her face right now. She's got a face right now. It's a joke. I get the plastic bags because you can pick them after your dog with the plastic bags. You should be using biodegradable, flushable bags. Paper or plastic? American Bald Eagle, please. Do you have any ivory? Maybe ivory husk for me. That'd be great. That's really funny, guys. Just keep on encouraging that kind of illegal poaching. Paper or plastic? Spotted owl. Spotted owl, please. It's like the zebra skin. Do you have any baby seals back there, maybe? It's coming. I knew it was coming. I knew. Hoyle, that's not funny. Hoyle. Get out of here with your sound effects. That's funny. That's not funny. A little bit. I know. It's not funny. Great. Now Hoyle is a Steve Woods fan. I'll tell you, every day he makes me laugh more and more. That kid, we got to go shooting. Shooting what? I said to what? I'll take you out. I'll take you shooting. Shooting what? Shooting guns. I thought you meant like shooting dope or something. Dude, I don't want to go party with you. What does that mean? I don't know. Shooting dope.

2:17:32Smoking those marijuana cigarettes, I think. Oh, marijuana cigarettes. Can you say that on the air? I don't think so. I'm sorry. Don't say that again. I won't. And don't talk about water pipes. Y'all were talking about water pipes the other day, and I got 14 phone calls. Did you? Yep. We were talking about civil engineers, water pipes. Plumbers. That's not what it was. It was water pipes that you put marijuana in. You can put tobacco in them, too. No, Woods, you know better than that. You know people aren't doing that. They're putting marijuana in them. You can buy them as tobacco pipes. That's what they're called, but nobody smokes tobacco in them. They smoke marijuana. Sure they do. Are you being serious? Yeah. No, we're serious. There's hookah bars in town here. What is that? Flavored tobacco. Oh, don't talk about that on the radio. We're getting in trouble. Not like raspberry. Orange. Yeah, not marijuana. I've never heard of anything like that, and I think y'all should stop. You never heard of marijuana? I've heard of marijuana. I said don't talk about the pipes. The what? The paps. The paps. Did you just say paps? Did you just say paps? She did. What did you say? The paps? Blue ribbon. Don't say that anymore. Paps smear? Don't say that, Woods. We're going to get an FCC violation fine. Who's the FCC? Federal Communications Commission. That's a violation of code 1491. Okay. Point seven. From what? 1972?

2:19:02You know, y'all are getting way out of hand, man. Well, maybe you need to rein us back in, pal. I need you to come and talk to me when the show's up. Don't look at the camera. Stop it. That was funny. Stop it. That was funny. You guys are mocking him, too. He hates. That's funny. That's funny. I don't say it like that. Oh, sorry. It was just a joke. I'm going to go. Stop it. I'm going to go back to Garrett's office for a minute. Lecture him for 25 minutes. Then I'm going to get a Mott the Hoople record, come back in here and show you how to talk it up. Ask Garrett to tell you about Detroit. You don't worry about Garrett. Garrett is our program director. He's above you, Hoyle. No. You are a station manager. That's right. Station manager is the boss of everyone. No, they're not. You're not the boss of me. I am the boss of you. I'm the boss of you. I'm the boss of Rick. I'm the boss of Garrett. Hillary, Tommy. I'm the boss of the Big Sonic Chill. I'm the boss of everything. I'm the boss of FM949SD.com. I'm the boss of Facebook. I'm the boss of MySpace. I'm the boss of Twitter. You still go on MySpace? I got the sexiest damn page you've ever seen, girl. Is it glittered? It's my personal life. My personal life is different than my professional life. On my personal life, I can post pictures on Facebook. What's your name? Hoyle, play a for you?

2:20:29Is that your MySpace name? Playa for you. Playa for. The letter for. The number four. And then the letter U. Playa for life. I appreciate if you don't give out my actual MySpace. Do you want a lot of friends? I already have a lot of friends. How many? 75. Wow. And no, I'm not lying. Every time I tell people that, they're like, you're lying. You don't have that many. I do. You know how I do? How? 25 years in the business. Thank you. That's a lot of friends. That's right. Three friends a year? Yeah. In two of those pictures, I'm in a bathing suit. Oh, boy. I got to check that out. Docker's bathing suit? Yeah, well, you better put on some glasses, girl, because I'm going to tell you what. This ain't 3D. Take a picture. It lasts longer. That's what Mikey's son says. Yeah, exactly. That's what Mikey's kids say. No, you're always supposed to say, that's what she said. Well, that doesn't really apply. No, that ain't when you hit it. That's how it's done, my friend. Hit it. Get. Get. What is get? That's that thing you say. Get. I'm picking up on it. Say it with your southern accent. Get. No, get.

2:21:51Try it again. 100%. You're not using it correctly. You're not using it correctly. Get. No, that's not when you use it. Get is genius. Dude. What's he? You're on my last nerve. Feelings mutual, pal. That's. That makes no sense, dude. You're not using it right. I am. You said the feeling's mutual, and I made a dirty joke by going, that's. That's not dirty. You can't make something dirty that's not dirty. It doesn't have a dirty connotation. That's. Now get. Wow. Get. Looks like I can teach the old dog some new tricks. I think so. You can lead a horse to water. Whatever that means. You guys ready for some Sienna sings? More than anything in this world. Sienna is going to do her thing. Here's how it works. And she's going to sing. That's right. Here's how it works. Sienna is going to do... It's basically... We're going to pull up a screen. She doesn't know music, a lot of hairband music. I'm 24 years old, Mike. She's 24. And so...

2:23:14If she knows, you're going to take a guess. Is she going to know the song or not know the song? She's going to be looking at karaoke words going across the screen. She's going to be singing them, and she either knows it or she doesn't. What we have found is she doesn't know a lot of these songs. So we'll do that next. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What'd you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinated for 24 hours.

2:24:15Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man. We're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Maybe I should write a jingle. No one likes to walk away feeling they've just paid too much for their car. Now, for a limited time, BMW is offering 0.9% APR financing on select certified pre-owned BMW vehicles. That's 0.9% for the finest German engineering performance and handling on a vehicle that's a similar price to other lesser new cars. That's 0.9% APR for a vehicle that's as well-maintained as any on the road. and 0.9% for a protection plan backed by BMW for up to six years or 100,000 miles. Need we say more? Visit your authorized BMW center for details on these extraordinary offers. And remember, only an authorized BMW center has access to these special rates. Certified pre-owned by BMW.

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2:29:54This report is brought to you by your local REMAX office. In the market to buy or sell a home, REMAX agents have the experience it takes to get the job done. Visit REMAX.com today. Nobody sells more real estate than REMAX. Outstanding agents, outstanding results. Heading through Escondido this morning on the 78 eastbound after Center City Parkway, there is an accident over on the right shoulder. This is a van and a car. A lot of congestion in the area as a result. The 8 westbound through El Cajon right before 2nd Street, an SUV and a car again collide. and looks like the 56 westbound before Black Mountain Road, a two-car accident. This one's one car on the right shoulder. The other car is in the number two lane. This report also brought to you by Sears Auto Center. Sears Auto Center, R-A-S-E certified technicians. No cars inside and out. Visit SearsAuto.com. Sears, life well spent. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now, more of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Our phone number here is 570-1949. And we need a total of six people because we're going to play three times. And we need somebody to say Sienna will get the song and we need somebody to say Sienna will not get the song. Let's do this. All right, here's how it works. I love that song. I do too. It's going to be stuck in my head all day long. Here's how it works. You call us and you're going to either pick that Sienna's going to get it or she's not going to have a clue.

2:32:23She got one last week we played and she got one. She got Ozzy. Crazy Train. Now, I saw that her brother posted on the fan page. You better have got that because your brother must have listened to some Ozzy when you were growing up. I don't think so. I think he's more embarrassed that I don't know anything. So in front of Sienna right now is a screen. She's looking at a computer screen. On the computer screen are songs that we've just brought up from YouTube. And it doesn't matter. She can know what they are. We'll tell you what they are. We don't know if she knows them until the song starts and she starts singing. And it'll become pretty apparent to you pretty quick whether or not she knows the song or not. So great. The reason that this was born was because we discovered Sienna doesn't know a lot of songs. I'm 24. It doesn't matter. She always says. I'm 24. I'm 24. I will always say. Yeah, she'll be like 20 years from now. I'm 44. I worked on top 40 hip-hop radio stations, stuff like that. That's right. And then before that, I was in high school. We're on a talk show, and I listen to a lot of music. It's all right. Listen. I'll play some rap songs for you. See how you do, Woodsy. You're going to do great. I have confidence in you. Thanks. I think you're going to do fantastic. Some of the callers don't. Let's talk to them.

2:33:49M1 Gridiron, you say no way, right? No way. Hang on the line. They don't know what the song is. Wait, they don't know what the song is. It doesn't matter. Okay. First song is Come On, Feel the Noise by Quiet Riot. I almost just sang it out when you said the title. You do not. Yeah, I know. Well, what's great is that Sienna has learned to just keep a poker face. Yeah. Carry my. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. She knows Poker Face by Lady Gaga. She can sing that. Yeah, she can sing that. That's good. M1 Dos Equis. Yep. you have that she will get it. Yes, you got it this time, man. Okay, hang on. Thank you. Dos Equis. This is the best bit. It's a great beer. Look at Lurkey McGurkey over there. He's going to push play on the... He's like creeping all around me right now, Woods. Go ahead, Woodsy. Ew! Oh, yuck. Ew, he breathes on me to smell like Copenhagen. Scoot it. Here we go. Do it, Sienna. Feel the noise. Girls, rock your boys. We'll get wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild. I kind of know it. So you think I got an evil mind. I'll tell you, honey, I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't know why. So you think my singing's out of time. It makes me money. Not much. I don't know why. I don't know.

2:35:23Don't know why. Anymore. Oh, no. So come on, feel the noise. Girls, rock your boys. We'll get wild. I say, Sienna, you've got to tell me. Do you know it or do you not know it? I've heard it before. Like, I know that, come on, feel the noise. But I don't know anything else. M1 Gridiron, you're a winner. Sorry, Dos Equis. Sorry, Dos Equis. That was close. Close. You were close on the chorus. Hang on, Gridiron. Hang on the line. But when you said, there was one thing that, what's the thing that repeats and repeats and repeats? Wild or something? Wild, wild, wild, wild, wild, wild. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't know. M1 Milkman. Hang on a second. We're going to tell you what the next song is. What's the next song, Woods? The next song, my brother, is Rebel Yell. Rebel Yell by Billy Idol. Correct. M1 Milkman, will she know Rebel Yell by Billy Idol? No way. Hang on the line, please. And M1 Trophy, you got that she will get it. Can you hang on the line? Yes, I will. And by the way, Jay, what is the prize that they will be winning this morning if they are able to get it right?

2:36:45We're giving them tickets to Hoolies Fest. They're 94.9s broadcasting out there all day tomorrow for St. Patrick's Day. Oh, nice. Okay, cool. And if you want to play, 5701949. Are you ready? Sienna. I hate this because right before we start, it says on the screen of the karaoke thing, key of BM. And I'm like, why don't I know what BM is? You know what a BM is. Yeah. It's B minor. Here we go. Here we go. Are you ready? Here we go. Yeah, but I can't sing in B minor. Sure you can. I don't know what that means. If it's low, I can do it. Here, let me give you a B minor. Give him a B minor. Okay, that sounded high. You ready, Red? Yeah. Mikey always has to come around. He comes around. Mikey walks all the way around. So great. She's into it. She's into it. We got a little intro. She's doing 80s. I can't hear it very much. Mike, make it hot. Last night, a little dancer. Ah! Keep dancing to my door. Last night, my little angel came pumping on the floor. She said, I come, baby. I got a license for love. And if it expires, pray help from up above. Because in the midnight hour, she cried more and more with a rebel yell.

2:38:21She cried more and more. No, no, and no. That was wrong? Yes, yes. That was wrong, my dear. Darn it. I thought that was right. Very close. She almost had me sold. I know, dude. Until in the midnight hour, she cried more and more. Yeah, that's the only. More, more, more. How does it go? You said she cried. In the midnight hour, she cried more and more. Okay, I was supposed to scream? No. M1 Milkman. Yeah. You are a winner. Hang on the line. Dude, I thought I had it. You almost did, dude. I thought I had it. You like stressed the wrong word. These are songs that I heard when I was in a cradle. 570-1949. I love that too. 570-1949. See, when I heard Rebel Yell, I was like, oh, I'm not going to know this at all. And then I heard the instrumental and I was like, wait, wait. Okay, what is this? Crimson and Clover? Last one. We need a couple of players. 570-1949. If you want to go to Hooley Fest, which is tomorrow, right, Jay? You can call us. It's going to be for St. Patrick's Day. Just give us a call. 570-1949. It's Crimson and Clover. Originally done...

2:39:36I think back in the 60s, Joan Jett covered it. Yeah, by like Del Shannon or something. Maybe, I don't know. I'm probably going to get filleted on that. Wait, it sounds like you guys don't even know the song. No, we know the song. We know the Joan Jett song. It's just we're trying to figure out who the original was. Oh, okay. It was a remake. All right, phone lines are blowing up. Now, Sienna. Mikey Show, is she going to get it or not? Hello? Is she going to get it or not? No. She will not get it. Mikey Show, who's this? Hey, it's Mikey. I'm Mikey. No, I'm Mike. No, I'm Mike. No, you said Spider. No, Spider. You said you're all right, Spider. What's your name, bro? My name is Mike P. Okay, Mike. You're... Oh, that was so funny. That was funny. This is Mikey. You got it. She's going to get it. Hang on a second. Hang on. You ready? Just so you know, this key of seeing in Joan Jett's voice, pretty similar to yours. Okay. You ready? Okay. It's not going to do me any good. Here we go. Make it hot, Mike.

2:40:47Hardly know her. Oh, uh-oh. Oh, wait. But I think I could love her. Crimson and clover. Oh, yeah, baby. Get it, get it. This is slow. Get it. Now when she comes walking over. Oh, wow. Now I've been waiting to show her. I'm going. And over. I'm going. On that one. Oh, man. I'm saying no. Yeah, that's a big no. You guys, I didn't know one. I thought I knew the second one. I thought you knew it, too. See, I can't be giving credit on one. M1 Tatiana? Yeah. Yeah, you're a winner on that one. Thank you. Can you hang on the line?

2:41:54That was fantastic. If there's a song I know, I can sing it pretty well, okay? Back me up, Mike, because I sound like him. Oh, yeah. Let me tell you. She's a great singer. She's a great singer. The thing is, is that she doesn't know all these songs. No, I don't know any. Which makes it so great to watch her, like, not struggle through it, but like. You can see her go when the little dots blink and it's time to start singing. She's like, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. I have no idea where to even go with that. Yeah. It's so great. It's fantastic. I'm glad I entertain you guys. It's wonderful. Thank you so much. Oh, no. OK, so I have a bunch of things that you should not be doing on a job interview. And if you have any, you can call us, 5701-949. Or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Now, there's a whole ton of these. And I've looked at them. They're all good. Don't get there late, which goes without saying. Numero uno. If you're on time, you're late. But also, don't get there too early. Exactly.

2:43:04Okay? You just said if you're on time, you're late. If you're on time, you're late. Proper is 10 to 15 minutes early. Really? Yes. See, I wonder if some people would say that that's too much. No. I'd say 5 to 10. 10. Too early would be like an hour early. Yeah. Which happens all the time. And that's weird. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's annoying. Don't light up a cigarette and come in there smelling like a cigarette when you come in. Woods. Yep. Woods, you got to do the dip that day. And even the dip, you could probably smell. I see. He breathed it in my face a minute ago, and you can smell it. Right? Do you agree with that one? You say, no, that one's fine. You can keep the dip in. Keep the dip in. Through the interview. Just swallow. Don't badmouth your last boss. Number one. Don't do it. It's got to be number one. Because basically what you're telling your future boss is that that's who you are. Yep. You're basically telling them that. You have no idea, man. You have no idea how many people will bash their former company, their former boss, their former manager, their former co-workers. And it is the biggest turnoff that you've ever heard in a job interview. Was it a professional job hirer? Yeah, I did. I placed 175 people in three years for my last company. I mean, basically, I talked 175 people into quitting what they were doing then and then coming to work for our company. And I saw, I mean, I've seen and heard.

2:44:24Every single thing you could ever imagine. Crazy. I don't understand the job. Like why you're getting them to quit their old job and come to work for your company. But doesn't your company eventually get enough employees? Like, okay, we're good. No, we built the company that I worked for was the fast. It was number one in the fast 500. Meaning it was the fastest growing company in America for technology. So we continually were building new offices and growing. We could not recruit enough people. Yeah, but how did you find people? Just being good at your job, man. Getting referrals, talking to a good candidate, asking him for three names of great candidates, talking to them, getting names. Really, there's an art to it. And it took me a while to get it, but once you get it, it's crazy. Definitely don't lie about your skills, your experience, or what you know. You will get caught. Don't do it. Well, don't lie about it, but you can talk up. Embellish. Oh, embellish like a madman. But don't be like, yeah, I'm proficient at PowerPoint. And they ask you to do a PowerPoint presentation. You have no idea. Yeah. Never downplay any of your skills. That's for sure. Wearing the wrong clothes. Oh, that's the first thing that came to my mind. It's a big one. On an interview. Big one. So if you're a girl, don't dress too sexy. If you're a dude, don't dress too casual. Yep. But also if you're a girl, yeah, don't show up in jeans. And don't be too stuffy if it's, you know, kind of a laid back.

2:45:48vibe of the place. You know, the funny thing is we had a really laid back vibe. Our CEO would come in jeans and a blazer, but go interview with him in jeans and a blazer and see how you do. Always better to be overdressed than underdressed. Come into my office dressed like that and see what happens. Yeah, exactly. You don't even have an office. I don't have an office yet because they're still clearing out space because y'all took an office, but I'll have an office soon. Let's see who gets priority. You would want us to wear Dockers only. Right now I'm in a cubicle, but I'll be... You're in my cubicle, by the way. Thank you for reminding me. Why don't you take a picture? It lasts longer. Good one. That's... No! That's not right. On an interview, don't forget the name of the person you're interviewing. Oh, yeah. But what if I can't remember... the names of the people that are sitting right in front of me and I practically have to write them down in the back of my hand like a memento. If it's the person interviewing you, you need to know their name. Usually you know it before you go in there because you know to ask for them. Or you've talked to them at length. To dude, you're like, thank you, Tabitha. The opportunity to work here is really wonderful. My name's Caitlin. Sorry, Caitlin. You should never show up at the receptionist and be like, I have a job interview today. You should be like, I'm meeting with so-and-so. First and last name. That's right.

2:47:06If you're going on a job interview, don't wear a ton of perfume or cologne. Stinky. Don't. That's overwhelming. Oh, my goodness. Especially if you're covering up cigarettes because now it just smells like a stripper. Yeah. And that has got to, oh, my goodness. If you're hiring somebody and they come in there and they reek of one thing or the other, forget it. You don't want to smell that every day. We had a guy came in in a suit that looked like he took it out of the dryer and it had cat hair all over. Are you kidding? I interviewed him for three and a half minutes. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe I've never told you guys this story. Please tell me it's your interview when you were interviewed as Michael Shannon. It 100% is. I'm 100% serious. I can't believe I've never told you this story. Okay, so I'm in the suspenders. On the interview. Yeah, I'm in the suspenders, okay? Because at the time... If you were six feet tall and, you know, handsome and built, suspenders were cool. Or if you were on What's Happening as rerun, they were cool. Yeah. To your friends as you were trying to get in the back of the pickup truck, running behind the pickup truck as it moved along at like 10 miles an hour. And you were dribbling your basketball. Yeah. Yeah. As you were running down the street following your buddies. Yeah. Trying to make it right. Here comes Mikey.

2:48:35So let me, so I'm wearing my faux oversized tortoise shell seeing eyeglasses with cosmetic lenses. They're not real. I have no prescription. I just thought that to be obese with suspenders would probably look a lot sexier if I had on faux eyeglasses. Sex it up. Did you have hair then? Yeah. Yeah. Awful hair. It's creepy. Yeah, it was feathered just perfectly. So this, I promise you, is a true story. Do you see this right here? The scar? Yeah. Yes, I do. Yeah. Let me tell you what it was from. Oh, my goodness. True story. I'm going to interview at this radio station in Tucson. His scar, by the way, is in between his eyes. It's in between my eyes. I am walking out of the garage of my brother's place where I'm staying.

2:49:38halfway open. But I thought that it was all the way open. You didn't fit right under? Let's be honest. It wasn't halfway open. It was a quarter open. It was one quarter open. Right in the forehead. Smack. You had a breeze right through that, Pally. I was walking with determination. Oh, no. You're going to nail that job, dude. I was highly motivated. And I right into the garage. And it's so hard. Oh, my. I hit it so hard. And it was literally. Well, that scar is right where it was. That's where the garage door was. Right between the eyes. Three feet off the ground. I hit it and it knocks me like I fall down. The glasses come off. Like picture the camera shows the glasses go spinning on the cement floor. Were you messing with your suspenders?

2:50:42How did that happen? He had a little stain on his pants. Amazing. And it cut me and I'm bleeding with blood running down my face. And you know what I did? I went upstairs because I have to get to this interview. So I go upstairs and I put toilet paper on this giant cut. Like it's a shaving neck. Like it's a shaving neck. And you guys can see how big the scar is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm basically clogging this. giant cut up with toilet paper and I get in the car and I start driving over there. And I'm like looking in the rear view mirror as I'm driving and my faux glasses are broken so I'm like convinced I won't get the job because I'm not as handsome as normal. I'm not nearly as hot as I usually am. How was your beret? Shut your filthy mouth. And so it starts to soak through and I'm like...

2:51:47Of course it did. Of course. I cut it back. You have three-inch gash in your head. Yeah, I need an ER. And I'm going to an interview. Oh, dude. I had to go back to my brother's place and put a butterfly bandage on it. Oh, no. And go to the interview with a butterfly bandage. That's good, though. It's better than canceling and saying you did something wrong because they wouldn't have bought it. Absolutely. Did you get the gig? I did. Well, and hence Michael Shannon was born. Was born. Dude, that was my first radio job ever. I was, I babysat, I was called a board operator. I babysat what, they don't even have the format anymore. You had to interview for a board, to be a board officer? Sure, you had to, I mean, you had to meet with somebody and say, hi, I'd like the job, you know. Somebody had to say, what's your name, you know, blah, blah, blah. Hi. That's all you needed was a pulse. Hi. Hi. That's Mikey. Hi. My name's Mike. You guys have a break room here? Yeah. Do you have any Doritos? Break room. Do you have any machines? Do you guys have anything powdered? Oh, I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so we got a doozy coming up here. First of all, Siena saw something yesterday that is the weirdest. It's the weirdest thing I've ever. I have heard a lot of stuff.

2:53:26I've never heard of anybody eating this, and we'll talk about it next. So we'll do that. I got a great email I want to do for you. All kinds of stuff. Don't go away. We'll be right back. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. If you're in the market for a new car, here are some important things to consider. Ford is far and away America's strongest automaker, offering models built for San Diego. Ford Fusion was just named Motor Trend's 2010 Car of the Year. Fusion Hybrid delivers up to 41 miles per gallon in the city. That's even better than Camry Hybrid. Ford Escape is fast becoming San Diego's favorite SUV, with a hybrid model that gets 34 miles per gallon in the city. Ford Focus delivers up to 35 miles per gallon on the highway. and comes available with hands-free sync technology, a Ford exclusive. Today, nobody beats Ford quality. Not Honda, not Toyota, nobody. Take a new Ford home now and get huge cash rebates, plus financing as low as zero APR. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com or visit your nearest San Diego County Ford dealer.

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2:59:3360 monthly payments of $17.92 per thousand financed. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important APR program limitations and offer details. Not all customers will qualify. No down payment required of qualified offer ends March 31, 2010. Does your business care about clean beaches and waterways? If yes, we want to hear what you and your business do to Think Blue. If your business is chosen, you'll win one week of paid advertisement on FM 94.9. Submit online today at FM 94.9SD.com. Things are getting a little crazy on the freeway this morning. This report brought to you by Sears Auto Center. Sears Auto Center, our ASE certified technicians, no cars inside and out. Visit SearsAuto.com. Sears, life well spent. Well, it looks like the 8 eastbound at East Main Street. We had a man that jumped out of a car. He ran across lanes. They were looking for the driver. The car was left in the center divider. Heading on the 56 westbound before Black Mountain Road, we had an accident there earlier. Three-car accident. Two cars were in the center divider, the other on the right shoulder. But it looks like they've cleared that up.

3:00:31Watch out, though, as you head on the 805 northbound at the 5. I don't think it's going to dent your car or anything, but we've got thousands of napkins in lanes, and cars are swerving to avoid them. Just drive through that napkin. I mean, just face your fear and go through the napkins. This report brought to you by McDonald's. You can try McDonald's new sweet blended ice frappes made with a hint of coffee topped with real whipped cream. Your day just got a little cooler and a whole lot sweeter. New frappes now at McDonald's. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Hey, Miguel. Yes? Happy birthday to M1DC, one of our biggest M1s out there, man. Happy birthday, DC. Nice. Good dude, man. Happy birthday, bro. Sienna's got some kind of...

3:01:56I don't know if it's breaking news, but it's big news that just kind of happened. It was just posted on NBCSanDiego.com, and apparently last night at 10 o'clock... Three Burlington Northern train cars went off the tracks near Frost and Miramar Road. Now, these are freight trains, but because they went off the tracks, there's 300 feet of tracks that are damaged, which means that the commuter train that was scheduled for early this morning was thrown off. Amtrak schedules are thrown off all because of this damaged track. So they're saying they hope it's going to be repaired by this afternoon, but they're not sure. It's still too early to tell. So if you ride the train and you commute. Definitely something you need to look into because you may need to reroute. Yeah, and the pictures were crazy. Yeah, I mean, the train came off the track completely. Do you guys, they do? Yeah, big time. Why? Because of that, yeah. Have you ever seen that M. Night Shyamalan movie, Unbreakable? Yes, years ago. Scare the pants off you on that train thing? If I remembered it, it probably would have. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it would. Definitely.

3:03:02Do any of you guys have spouses that don't like a song and you just can't understand it? Mm-hmm. What is your wife not like and she doesn't get it and you're like, are you kidding me? Rush. Really? Yeah. Hates Rush. Rush is Jamie's kryptonite. Why? I don't think she likes Geddy Lee's voice. Is that what it is? It's got to be. She doesn't like the modern day. Oh, it's so good. Listen to how brilliant this is. How does she not like that? How do you not like that song? I'm totally on Team Jamie. Are you serious? Oh, you're crazy. That's Rush, man. They all stick together, man. I guess so. They all do. This one will shock you. Rebecca said that she didn't like this yesterday, and I just stared at her like a gazelle was hopping through my living room. Oh, wow. I'm with her. I'm with her. She goes, overrated. I go, are you? 100%. My jaw's dropped open now with Woods. I'm on Team Mike.

3:04:10This reminds me of Free Mr. Clark. Yeah, Free Mr. Clark. Free Mr. Clark. I have no idea what that is. The movie Lean on Me. Lean on Me. Did the movie Principal Joe Clark? Got it. Noted. How do you not... How do you not like... Great words, great premise, the whole bit, but... Rebecca goes, really? Lean on me. Lean on me a friend. Oh, I think it's great. She thinks it's so, like... You know, passe and there's nothing clever about it. Rebecca, I'm with you, kid. I love it. And it's like one of those things, one of those tunes that all kids learn to play on the piano. And they're like, hey, look at me. Of course. She hated it. I'm with her. We could do this all day. Sienna. Yeah. Tell everybody what you saw a man eating in the park yesterday. I think I have flashes of it every hour. She told me it's the filthiest thing I've ever heard in my life. This is.

3:05:12You guys, I didn't know how to react. I'm sitting at the park. I'm doing a nice little kid bit for tomorrow, and I'm getting some kid audio. Yeah. And there's a dad there sitting right near me, just biting into a cucumber as if it was a pickle. No way. Are you sure it wasn't a pickle? I'm 100% positive it was a cucumber. He was sitting close enough that I could see it and smell it, and it was a cucumber with the skin on and everything. Skin's the healthiest part. Biting. That would ruin my day. That is filthy. I mean... It's like taking a cantaloupe and just eating it. You know what I mean? Why is that like that? Bite apple. Yeah, or an onion. Because, Lauren, it's meant to be sliced and diced. Says who, though? Says us. Yeah, you know who doesn't? Cows. Yeah. And even cows are like, can you peel that for me and put it in a salad? And like vagrants walking through a cucumber field, maybe. Dude, like horses are like, if you don't mind, slicing up for me. The skin is the healthiest part of the cucumber. Who cares? It's thick. And let me tell you something. You have to really, really love cucumbers. You better love cucumbers, dude. You can't get enough of that. I've got to have a cucumber. He ate an entire cucumber.

3:06:29A whole cucumber. Do you know how big they are? You better get Cucumber Magazine. If you're going to eat a raw cucumber, you better be getting Cucumber Digest. You know he puts cucumbers in his water. Pizza, everything he puts them on. His wife is like, babe, I just got the invoice from cucumber.net. Really? Really? It was disgusting. I even had my stepdaughter, Jenna, with me. And I was like, Jenna. Like, it was so bad. I had to, like, talk crap about the guy, an eight-year-old. Why didn't you interview him? Yeah. Excuse me, man. Did you just escape from the hospital? Because why would you be eating a cucumber whole? I don't know. To me, that's like eating a potato. Absolutely. Just taking a potato and biting it. Yeah, you know what? An 1800 Irishman did. I think maybe in certain countries. He did look like he was maybe from a different land. He had capri pants on as well. Oh, I love to eat the potatoes right out of the ground. Oh, they're delicious. Well, I need a wee bit of whiskey, Michael. Yeah, what if you bit into a potato? Gross. So gross. Do you want to come over and throw back some cucumbers? Let's have a cucumber party. Come over, we have some cucumbers.

3:07:53So gross. Get. Hoyle, no. Get. Hoyle, no. What did I do wrong? It's not right. When you don't like it, you say get. No. If I walked up on some homie eating a... Did you say homie? Homie. Eating a cucumber, I would be all get. Hey, Hoyle, have you ever been to the races? Yes. Yeah. That's. You got it. You nailed it. That's. That's. See, there you go. Well, that's means that's what she said. Get. I want to bring in a cucumber and just make you guys take a bite. You know what? Bring it in. I will try it. I hate cucumbers, but I'll try it. I'll try it. I will. I'm going to bring one in and we all have to just take a bite. Everybody. I'll do it if everybody does it. Excuse. Weird. Excuse. Excuse. There are three foods in this world. Really, Mike? That are the filthiest thing. They're rotten to me. What? Cucumber, cantaloupe, and cilantro. Okay. I'm with you on one of those. I'm with you. Yeah. Wow. There you go. Oh, my God. It's a momentous day in Mikey's show history. There was a dump. Lauren finally got. And it wasn't me. Darn it. Lauren finally got the dump button hit on her. Yes.

3:09:16It's because I compared cantaloupe to something filthy. No, no, no, no, no. To something filthy. Those on the internet heard it. Because the dump has to catch up. Yes. I'm sitting here and I'm thinking in my head. I'm like, I'm trying to think of her thought. And she's like, hmm, what does it taste like? What does it taste like? Oh, I know what it tastes like. I know what it tastes like. And you know what? I'll just say it on the radio. It does. Yes. Yes. Yes. Cantaloupe is fruity and sweet. It's like candy. Not the kind I've had. It's delicious. It's so good. I bite into it and let the juice run down my chin. I'm going to bring in some cantaloupe. Mikey's going to puke. Just juices. I would drink cantaloupe juice. I would too. It's so good. Please, I beg you. What about that green melon? Delicious. Honeydew. Delicious. No, it's hard. Stink. Dude, I just smell it and I want to vomit. Come on. Oh, it's so gross. Yeah, but you'll eat innards.

3:10:16Furmanudo. Delicious. Repugnant. You know what, man? Cantaloupe smells, to me, it doesn't matter how fresh it is. I'm dicing some up, bringing it in. Smells rotten. When I smell it, I go, oh, something rot in the room? Can we do a blindfolded taste test with you? No. Wait, you really don't like cucumber that much? I don't like cucumber. I can't stand cucumber or cantaloupe. And cilantro tastes like soap to me. I want you to try this. This is something my dad does, and it's the best way to eat cucumber. He puts it in vinegar. He slices them up, peels them, puts them in vinegar, puts some onions in there with salt and pepper, and you let it soak. My mouth is salivating. Cucumber salad. Lou Bush. Lou Bush. So good. Lou Bush is the only human being that has ever made cucumbers, and I actually like them. He wrapped them in bacon and deep fried them. No, he put them in like an apple cider vinegar. Yeah, that's what my dad does. It's like kombucha. And, dude, it was. Delicious. It's like a really sour pickle. Oh, it's so good. It's so good. Yeah, but that's the thing. It kind of wasn't a cucumber anymore. Yeah. It became like, you know, I know a pickle is a cucumber, but it's different. Have you ever had jicama? Yes. Yeah. Do you like jicama? It doesn't really have any flavor to me. Yeah, it tastes like nothing. A lot of people don't like jicama. My wife was, one of our babysitters was asking Rebecca the other day if she's ever had tofu because our babysitter is vegan.

3:11:43Oh, please. She's vegan. So she says, Rebecca, have you ever had tofu? And Rebecca, of course not. Of course not. It could be done so good if you do it right. Ew, it's like a block of cheese. Wrap it in steak. I'm telling you, Kim can cook it where you can't tell the difference between it and chicken. I promise you. I guarantee you cannot. I promise you. Because one of my daughters is completely vegetarian, and she'll prepare it for us. And Finn, he's a meat eater. Neither he nor I could figure out that it was not meat. I'll take the Pepsi challenge, my friend. She kills it. She says, I've never had it. She says, what is the consistency? I said, it's like cheese. Yeah, that's what Rebecca did. And she goes, what does it taste like? And Amanda goes, it doesn't taste like anything. And Rebecca goes, why would I always eat something that doesn't taste like anything? Why do you eat it? She goes, why do you eat it? If it doesn't taste like anything, why would you eat it? And I was like, she kind of has a point there. Well, it takes on the taste of what you cook. That's what Amanda said. She's like, that's exactly what she said. And she goes, well, then why don't you just eat chicken?

3:12:46She goes, if it takes on the taste of chicken, why don't you just have some chicken? No, if you make it in, like, a peanut sauce or, like, a... Oh, exactly. That's why it was made. You know? It'll take on... It soaks that flavor in. So it's, like, peanuts? Well, it'll be, like, a spicy peanut sauce. So it'll be, like, peanut meat? Or stir-fry, sesame, or whatever. This is delicious peanut meat. That's great. Hey, honey, I can't tell. Am I eating tofu or is this actually a giant canola? It tastes like a canola. If it's grilled correctly or cooked correctly, it can be delish. I ate tofu one little square one time on accident. And it was because it was in miso soup. And never again. And I love miso soup. Disgusting. Miso honey. Oil. Oil. Y'all get it? That's not funny, dude. You said you can't say things like that on the radio. She said miso, and I was like, miso horny. It's good. Y'all get it? Yeah, we get it. Get. No. Oil. Who doesn't get it? Let's see. Mikey, it was my birthday on Friday. My boyfriend got me a houseplant. So? That's weird. Is this my email? This is from M1 Lizzie.

3:14:05She says, my boyfriend got me a houseplant. I'm out of my mind. I'm going to break up with him. Is he out of his mind? I have been dropping hints for weeks about stuff I want. No dinner, no cake, nothing but a plant. I got him an iPod for his birthday. So mad with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 exclamation points. She is mad. M1 Lizzie's mad. It's a good thing Lizzie doesn't date me. Oh, you got that right. Here, here's a box of air. Yes. Enjoy it. I can have a hug. Air. Yeah. She's like, honey, where's that nothing that I bought you last week? What did you do with your nothing? Yeah. That you got on your 30th birthday. Yeah. Honey, I'm in the pantry. I can't find the nothing that I bought you last week. Is it behind the hot sauce? Are you wearing that shirt that I didn't buy you for your birthday? Hey, honey, when you're done not playing with the video game I didn't buy you, can I have a word with you? Yeah. That would not be a problem with L.O.B. With L.O.B. Nope. So, have you guys, you guys ever get a weird gift? A plant? I'm still, I mean, I'm upset for her. Yeah. Oh, really? I wouldn't break up with him over it, but I would for sure punish him when his birthday came around next year. He'd get a card. My favorite one, my favorite one was when I was 14 years old. My brother Sam gave me.

3:15:36his old pager. Now, you have to understand, okay, this was back in the day where only one person could have the number because they would call this number and then it would go beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, and you called them back because they were the only ones that had it. It wasn't like they punched in a number and you saw the number on the pager. Only one person had it. Generally, it was your workplace. I was 14. Okay, I didn't have a job. Like, yeah. It was a cool thing to have. I wasn't McDreamy, okay? You had one friend, Isaac Lopez, and that was it. My, you know, the office wasn't going to beat me, and I'm going to be, oh, sorry, I'm on call. I got surgery. I got surgery. I got a split. Plus, you couldn't reach the phone, even if you wanted it. You're such a jerk. You're such a jerk. Hey, Dad, you make a call for me. Hey, Dad. Dad. Dad.

3:16:35Dial. Dad. Somebody's beeping me. Can you put it on speakerphone? Somebody's beeping me. I have to make a phone call and I don't know where my apple crates are. When are they going to create a jet pack? Yeah. I wish it were 20 years from now when the jet pack would be created. And for sale. For $90,000, which I could afford because I'm a doctor on call right now. Exactly. You can get a jetpack for $90,000 now. You can. It's so awesome. I'm getting one. Sure. That same brother also got me a Sgt. Slaughter VHS videotape of Sgt. Slaughter, the professional wrestler, introducing monster trucks running things over. Nothing wrong with that. I'd never watched any of that stuff in my life. Oh, really? No. Not like you were into wrestling? I got a good one. You're like... Cool. What did you get? I got one. What did you get? I really, really wanted an electric guitar. Yeah. More than anything in the world I wanted. I was probably 15. And I wanted an electric guitar. And when you buy an electric guitar, you have the amplifier that comes separately. Yeah. Separately. Separately. Yes. Not with it. Separately. You plug it in.

3:17:55You take a cord and you plug it in, the little deal, and then you start jamming and you turn it up. It's a little loud, Mom. Okay, I'm going to turn it down. Right. Adjustable amplifier. Sure. Christmas morning comes and I open. There's a giant box in me and it's heavy. Yeah. And I open it up and there's an electric guitar inside. Mm-hmm. And my heart starts racing because I'm so happy. It had an amplifier built into it. Oh, wow. That's... In the guitar? In the top of the guitar was a built-in amplifier. You know what it was called? What? It was called the Terminator. Don't anybody Photoshop pictures of Woods with a tiny little guitar. Black guitar. And a t-shirt that says the Terminator. Yeah, with the speaker built into it. I'll be bought. So, I remember that year. I told my friends. They roasted me mercilessly, right? Yeah. One of my buddies in the yearbook wrote, hey, Woods, have a great summer. See you at the pool. Make sure to rip it up on the Terminator. It's still in there. In fact, the guy that wrote it was my buddy that I just went and saw in L.A. on Friday who had a Gibson Les Paul at that time. Oh, that. At that time? At that time. It's fantastic. Yeah.

3:19:14Thanks, Dad. I just Googled it. I can't find it. I really want to find the Terminator guitar. It was called a Terminator, and it had a built-in speaker. And so it had a 9-volt battery that went in the back, so you'd hit your cord and it'd go, bang, bang. Did you find it? I found it. Yeah, that's it. Is that the Terminator? That's the Terminator. It doesn't look that bad. Welcome to hell. Oh, it doesn't? Well, when you're expecting to have a cord and an amp behind you and it's got a speaker built in, I was mortified. I was in a band. I couldn't take that to band practice. Did you take it back? No. I leaned against the wall in my room for the next five years. I think I accidentally dropped it down the stairs. You did not ever. When did you get your guitar with an actual amp on it? Two years ago. Oh. He did make up for it, though, when he bought me an American-made Fender Stratocaster that is the most amazing thing in the world. Really? Yeah. I think he knew in the back of his mind. He's like, I really hosed him on that guitar back then. I'm going to make it up for him. And he bought me a custom Fender Strat that's amazing. You know what I call that, Woods? What?

3:20:25Cadillac problems. That's right, buddy. Cadillac problems. Poor woods. Poor baby. It had a freaking ant built into it. If I got that, I'd be mortified. Mortified. M1 Lizzie. Yes. Wait a minute. Is this M1 Lizzie that wrote the email? No, this is the original M1 Lizzie. That's why I'm calling. Winder's having a fit, thinking everybody thinks he's a... Oh, it's not winder. Yeah, well, you're M1 Liz. You're not M1 Lizzy. She is Lizzy. Oh, I thought you were Liz. I didn't get her a freaking house plant, dude. I might have a bullseye tattoo over my butt. I may have a tramp stamp, but I spend money on my girl. That's right. He immediately called me and was like, you need to call and make that right. Yeah, make it right. Make it right. Was it Winder? Thank you, Lizzie. No problem. Bye. Bye. And it's M1 Lizzie. Lauren. Winder, I can see him. I know. No. No. My grandmother, God love her, she gets gift certificates for everybody now. But she used to get us those sweaters on Christmas. You know, Bill Cosby sweaters. And Cadillac problems. Terrible. Cadillac problems. Terrible. Some people don't even have sweaters. That's right. This isn't even about me. This isn't about somebody else in my family. I have you so beat.

3:21:44I'd be so beat. My mom. She didn't finish. She didn't even get anywhere. We used to get sweaters. No, no, no, no. I got you. My point of the story is my brother, he holds up the sweater from my grandmother and he goes, I love it. He holds it up. Genius. And she goes, wait, wait, wait. That's not for you. That's your mother's sweater. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. He's like, I know. I love it for her. I love it for her. What color? Pink. Oh, every color you could imagine. Multicolored. Michael Shannon special. Yeah. Even Michael Shannon wouldn't wear it. I made suspenders out of that sweater. Jay. So my grandmother would just wrap things in her house. She wrapped a calendar. My birthday's in June. That's brutal. It was the six-month-old calendar. That's so bad. Dude, that is so bad. She didn't stick like a 20 in there, dude? No, no. It's like the grandma on Christmas vacation to wrap the cat. And Bethany. And Bethany. Oh. It tastes like lime. Is Rusty still in the Navy? Oh, she wrapped up her damn cat. Oh, my. M1 Eyebomb. Are you there? Yeah. Go ahead. I'm here. Go ahead. Oh, I had to wind up. My mom eventually wound up trying to bribe me because I was given the wrong gift because she marked the wrong packages. She tried to fake us out during Christmas.

3:23:10Because I would always guess what my presents were. Wow. So one year she wound up putting the wrong name and she forgot and left one on that wasn't supposed to be mine. It was one of those nitro vans that would do the figure eight circles and go straight ahead all by themselves. And it was really cool back in the 70s. Wow. And my brother was a real motorhead. And this was back when he was like 14, 15 years old. So I wound up just giving it to him. Nice. Awesome. Thank you for the call, dude. All right. Let's see. M1 Classic Girl is on the line. Classic Girl, you there? Classic Girl, you there? Yes, I am. Go ahead. I used to collect clothing from my grandmother, like from the 70s and 80s. And I had seen a picture of this dress. And it was like a gown. It was gorgeous. And I said, Grandma, I want that dress. And the next Christmas, we're all at the house. And we're all sitting there. And my grandmother. Makes a big production out of me tonight. Um, what? Hang on. What? What just happened in the background there? Yeah, that caught my attention, too. What? I don't know. I heard some... Was there a... Yeah, was there a noise in the background there? Oh, I'm at work. Oh, okay. Do you work at a duck farm? That doesn't mean there wasn't... Oh, it was my chair. Oh, okay. Because it sounded like you were like... Yeah, a little bit. Not me. Got it.

3:24:35So anyway, so she makes this big production about to my two sisters that she's not giving me an extra present. It was something I asked for. And it was all wrapped up. And my dad and my sisters and their husbands are sitting there. And my grandparents are sitting there. And she hands me the gift. And my mom's in the kitchen cooking the Christmas turkey dinner. And I open the box and I look in it. And it's just like dress from the 80s. Like the most horrendous, ugliest dress ever, right? So I'm standing there shaking, starting to laugh. And I look up at my mother and I kind of hold it up to her. And she slides on the floor and starts crying laughing. And I turn around and I go, isn't this awesome? And you see my father, who's a very serious military man, he's got tears streaming down his face. My grandparents are like looking at me like my grandmother. I called her nanny. I go, nanny, isn't it beautiful? It'll look so good on you. I mean, it's chiffon, like shiny material, puffy sleeved. And this is only like 10 years ago. My brother-in-law has no clue what's going on. He goes, Laura, you have to try it on. And I'm looking at everybody, and my sisters are crying, laughing. My kids are just looking at me like, are you crazy? That's awesome. So I go upstairs, I put it on, found my mother's 70s glasses, put on a belt, and I had a fake ponytail that day, came downstairs with my son's fake gun, and did the whole Charlie's Angels thing, came around the corner. My mother wet her pants. Thank you, classic girl. That's M1 classic girl.

3:26:01She's classic. Want to know how a British woman grew breast implants? Absolutely. Me too. Want to know about the new lipstick that tells you when women are in the mood? 100%. Every guy does. Me too. Do it all next. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Are you ready for Ram Truck Month? Ready for a Ram 1500 with a Hemi V8 upgrade at no extra charge with 0% EPR financing? Ready for more power and performance? Really? Ready? Ready to have your neighbors offering to wash it for free, kids climbing in the back bed, dogs that don't even belong to you jumping in to enjoy a more powerful ride. 390 horsepower that gets an EPA estimated 20 highway MPG. Ready for new features like a refined interior, multi-link coil rear suspension, and trailer sway control. So are you ready? Ready for truck groupies to beg for rides, bigger boats to show up in front of your house, construction workers whistling at your truck. It's all part of Ram Truck Month.

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3:31:41Navyfederal.org equal housing lender. Nothing. Every opportunity in front of you. The world's forward-thinking companies behind you. The Pacific Ocean beside you. Nothing standing between you. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If I like rock music and you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. Woods. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. Lauren. I like looking at boobs. Sienna. I can hit some mean wiffle balls in our yard. And Jay. I can make 100 hush puppies in like 30 seconds. On FM 94.9. Welcome back. Hey, Woods has got some breaking news. Well, we called it. You heard it here first. Tiger Woods returning to professional competitive golf. Where? The Masters. Where else? Wow. Guy will be back for the Masters. It is next month in Augusta, Georgia. He had this to say. He said, the Masters is where I won my first major. I view this tournament with great respect. After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I'm ready to start my season at Augusta. I have undergone almost two months of inpatient therapy, maybe inpatient therapy, and I'm continuing my treatment. I'm returning to competition, but I still have a lot of work to do in my personal life. Wow. Well, he's back. What if he wins it?

3:33:22It seems like there's every reason in the world that he would win it. I can't. I've never been this excited for the Masters in my life. And I'm sure the people at Augusta that run that tournament are like. You don't suppose a lot of people watch that? Yeah, I don't know, man. I think it might have the higher ratings in the Super Bowl. Yeah, seriously. Woods is back. Woods is back. That's right. So is Tiger. That's right. Tiger's back, too. A lot of people didn't know this. Steve Woods. Tiger Woods, twin brothers. Twin brothers. Actually, twin brothers. That's right. Let's see. So tell me about the British woman, Sienna, that grew her own breast implants. Well, let me first just show you a picture and you guys tell me if you would be able to tell. She's hot. Let's see. I mean, she's an attractive young lady. No, and that's why that's a perfect boob job. Because it doesn't look... Like big, fantastic fakies. In the picture, she's wearing a dress. They're not looking at her naked breasts. And Woodsy likes the faker the better. The bigums. The knee shooters. You like the faker the better? Give me the knee shooters. I don't care. I don't know what a knee shooter is. They drag down to the knees? Oh, gross. Is that what that is? And you're being inappropriate. All he's doing is laughing and screaming. Knee shooters. Figure it. Think about it. They're sagging? Yeah.

3:34:53Who wants a knee shooter? I'm afraid of what I can say. Oh, I know. Say it. No. I mean, who knows what she's going to say. No doubt. Well, the first girl, this is the first British woman who's been able to do this. She had fat removed from her stomach through liposuction, and they mixed that fat with other body cells, and they re-injected into the breasts. I always wanted. I wondered why they couldn't do that. Of course you thought about recycling fat. Yeah. Of course you did. I could make H cups. Rebecca's like, really? Yeah. Every girl's dream, they'll get rid of some fat and add up there. Redistribute. That's money. Doesn't that sound like a, you know, good idea? Sounds like a great idea. I think all women should try it. She went from a 32B to a C cup, and advocates think that this development is set to revolutionize the plastic surgery industry. I'm in. However, there are some doctors who are concerned about it with the long-time safety of the operation, claiming that it could increase the risk of breast cancer and that the implant tissue could harden, causing deformity and a possible, like, it could make a tumor. I don't know. There's all kinds of reasons behind it. But a lot of doctors...

3:36:12Actors are like, this is natural fat from their body going just somewhere else. Why? It's too, it sounds like it's too new. I'm on board. It seemed like you'd be less likely for your body to reject your own fat than like a foreign thing like silicone. Yeah. So the girl, Emma, who, what's her name? Emma Poole, who did this. Is every British woman named Emma? Yeah. Yes, Mikey. Whatever. That's right, isn't it? Emma. I just got breast implants, Michael. Goodness, did you grow them yourself? I sure did. I grew them in my belly. That's absolutely delightful. Do we have time for tea? You grew your breasts in your belly. I grew my breasts in my arse and in my belly. And your belly. Your fanny. My fanny. That's wonderful. Delightful. She got rid of the fat in her stomach. That's so great. You know what it's called? You know what it's called? What? Two birds, one stone. Yeah. Puts a whole new take on one lump or two. Yes, Jay. That's right. Jay, two lumps in my tea. You know that. Tell me about the lipstick that can tell you when a woman's in the mood. This is brand new. You know the singer Katy Perry? Yeah. She has it. Is it her endorsement? No, it just says that she's one of the people who have...

3:37:31Really caught on to this and love it. Yeah. It's called the Mood Swing Emotionally Activated Lip Gloss. I'm going to guess. It picks up like body temperature or your body heat. Yeah, yeah. It works by reacting with a woman's body chemistry. Each tube is $18.50. Of course it is. And this is really good. I would buy this just to see if it worked. That's the coolest thing ever. That's what they're banking on. And then you buy it and you're like, oh, guess what? It doesn't. You guys remember the mood rings in the gas station? Yeah. Hey, I'm somber. Hey, I'm happy. Is that pink or is that red? I'm angry. I'm angry. Because I just spent $18 on lip gloss that tells me what? Well, either way, it's lip gloss, so you have lip gloss. So who cares? It comes unclear, and then if you're in the mood, it turns to a deep crimson color. Is that right? Yep. It goes from clear to red? Uh-huh. No, crimson. Give me a break. I'm not buying it. Do you believe that? No. Come on.

3:38:43$18 for that. I've got to invent something. I just realized I've got to invent something. My God, people buy anything or watch anything. People bought a rock. We invented a pet rock. Oh, a rock, yeah. People bought it. This is a rock. How about a jump to conclusions, Matt? Yeah. That'd be awesome. It's a mat from a movie. Jump. Yeah. What movie is that from? Office Space. Oh, yeah. The guy made a million dollars. Well, I mean, might as well. Sienna has new releases out today. I do, I do. Love new releases. Now, this is new releases on DVD, CDs, and video games out today. Albums. Dropkick Murphy's Live on Lansdowne. Jay and Woods just simultaneously did the same dance. They're doing a little jig. Wow. It's gorgeous. Wow. Jay. Oh, man. I hope Jay's webcam was on. Hey, did they ever do Irish music? The White Stripes Under Great White Northern Lights. Yeah. Bless you. Bless you. That's actually in the song. That was Jack White. Pushed my butt. Sounds good to me. Sounds great. Marvin Sapp, here I am. Sounds like Ruben Stuttered. Yeah, it does. Yeah, Ruben Stutter's on the line. He wants his voice back. Hey!

3:40:23I like it. You do? Now I don't. I like it when you go, ah! If I had a bodyguard, I would want him to listen to that. Absolutely. What? I don't know what that means, but I'm in on it. Jessica Harp, A Woman Needs. She has a good voice. I think I like all contemporary country music. I think you do, too. I love it. It's an embarrassment. I do. I think they all sound exactly the same. That's fine with me. She was in The Wreckers with, um... Oh, The Wreckers is a good band. Yeah, they're not together. Michelle Branch. Michelle Branch, they broke up, and now Jessica Harp and Michelle Branch are doing their own thing. They're decent. And Jessica Harp, I think, is killing it. I like it. They're decent. Also out, Drive-By Truckers, the big to-do. Nice. It's a good band, Michael. Drive-By Truckers. It's like alt-country. It's what? Alt-country. Really, dude? Confuses me. If I'm confused, I can't enjoy. What are you confused about?

3:41:45I'm confused with what it is. I'm listening to it. I'm like, I don't understand you. I don't understand you. It's all the country. Makes sense to me. Makes sense to me. The words or the melody? The music, everything. All of it. It doesn't make sense. And I'm like, it makes sense to me. It doesn't. And finally go, I'm out. Will not compute. Yeah. It's what happens. Doesn't compute. Neon trees, habits. Let's see. I like it. I like it. Makes me want to go to the beach. I like it. I like it too. I don't know that I'd buy it, but I like it. If it was on the radio, I wouldn't change its stage. Exactly. I wouldn't buy it. The Wigs in the Dark. So good. So good. Mikey, you have a very interesting look. I don't know what I think. One of our recommended albums. One of our recommended albums of the month. I like his voice. I know, I do too. It's The Wigs. The Wigs, so good. Also out, Alex Sintek, self-titled. Alex Trebek. Yeah, Alex Trebek. You see Jeopardy. Alex Sintek. Really getting into music.

3:43:16Really exploring the space. Is this you singing, Mike? Yeah. Mikey, what's he saying? Translate. It's my inner child. Translate. Right there, he said, it used to be me and you. And then I discovered biscuits. And now I eat those all the time, it says. That's normal. It's like he said something about all day. Biscuits. Speaking of biscuits, Disco Biscuits is up next with Planet Anthem. I think I like it. It's really great. I like it. I'm going to download that. Ella Fitzgerald, The Best of Twelve Nights. While I'm beautiful. This makes me feel good. Michael. Say Christmas. Makes me feel nice. Yeah, see, it makes me feel good, too. I like it, yes. You know, I used to play this for Norman while we were rocking balloons out on the lake. Yeah, she's getting into it now. How should I not love Ella? Somebody make me an old-fashioned. Yes. Norman.

3:44:40Can you send our servant out? Two old fashions. Yes, bring in two old fashions and forget it. Bring the entire bottle of scotch. The audition, great danger. While you're getting it, will you bring the marijuana in as well? Bring my cocaine tray. Bring the whole thing. I'm a movie star now. Listen, make it rain. Make it rain. Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Hello, my friend. Norman, I say we walk out on the back patio and listen to the loons tonight. Well, we smoke pot. What do you think? Yeah, see? Look, James Caddy, why don't you come over tonight and bring the marijuana cigarettes and we'll sit out on the patio and watch the loons. Yeah, see? Yeah, see? Yeah, see? James, do you have my flask still? You dirty rat! Did you just call me a dirty rat, you old high coot? You are one high person. Thank you, Catherine. The audition is out. Great danger. Oh, good. Good. Right up your alley, pal.

3:46:16I like that. I know you do. Bouncy. Now it's bombarding me. I like it. I like it. It's all right. Johnny Vicious, Total Music Dance Classics. Love it. Darling, where's my glow sticks? Yeah, see? Norman, where did you put my ex? The old coot. Yeah, see? The old coot. Jess, High Glow. Mikey loves it. I like her voice. It's kind of cute. Last one. And the last one is Streetlight Manifesto, 99 Songs of Revolution. How about your Lauren tune? I'm on the original. You mean the one from 1932? No, it's Such Great Heights. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Now we're on to movies. Now, these are the DVDs that come out today. You can buy them for your house today. What do we get? Because I never saw it in theater. The Twilight Saga, New Moon. Oh, yeah.

3:48:00Out. The whole thing's out today? No. Not Dracula. Vampires. How many movies is this? What? How many times must I count? Oh, yeah. One. Three movies come out today. Funnily enough, Mikey and I will probably both watch it tonight. Funnily enough. Because both of our wives... My wife will probably buy that today. I want it. My wife isn't here, but I'll probably still get it. Let's have a slumber party. Yeah, let's. Tickle fight. This means that it would be on demand. Come on. That means it would be on demand, huh? You can pay for it. Yeah, I'm going to get it on iTunes. It's weird. You're going to get it? I'll watch it. Yeah, I'm Team Jacob. Have you seen it before? I'm Team Jacob. I'm Team Edward. Let's fight. Frankie, you're Team Edward? Yeah, I saw Twilight. I saw Twilight. New Moon? I saw Twilight. But you didn't like fantasy. Oh, he does. Oh, he likes it, all right. It's a love story, Lauren. Oh, with a lot of fantasy. Yeah, people that have hearts, they have this thing. It's called love. And you can actually love somebody else. Avatar has a love story, too. Does it? Yeah, with two aliens. I'm out. Blue aliens. Vampires? Fantasy? Hey, dude, let's put on bunny slippers and watch Twilight. I'm in. Be there at nine. See you there.

3:49:26Is that the last one? No, we have a bunch more. Go ahead. Rattle them off. Okay. The Princess and the Frog. Did you hear about the Morgans? That's one with Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant. Ninja Assassin. Astro Boy. Nicolas Cage. Broken Embraces with Penelope Cruz. Armored. The Fourth Kind. And Band Slam. We have video games too. What do you got? Video. I'm going to warn you again. It's like Chinese to me. So don't judge. Top five. God of War 3. Dragon Age Origins Awakening. Cool. Command and Conquer 4, Tiberian Twilight. Metro 2033. And the fifth one on the list is Renaissance of Fate. Resonance of Fate. You ready to start paying for food on a new airline? Another one? Tell you which one next. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. So despite what our competitors keep saying, fact is, we save people so much money that over 4 million drivers switched to GEICO last year. Amazing. That's like every person in the city of Los Angeles switching to GEICO. Wait, you got the whole city of Los Angeles to switch to GEICO? No, sir, you misunderstood. That's incredible.

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3:56:39Oh, man. There goes my Tuesday night plans. A DVD Saturday released. Damn it. That is weird. Yeah, but now you know what you're going to be doing on Saturday, Woodsy. 100%. Right? That'd be great. What airline's going to start charging for food now? Continental. Really? Yeah. Anybody fly that airline? Apparently, yes. I don't think I've ever flown. I do. Already Delta, American U.S. Airways, and United charge, but... Continental was the only one that they would give you if you had a flight of two or three hours or less. They would give you a small sandwich, a roll or a muffin in the morning or a hot sandwich later on. A scone. And now they have to start paying for it just like the rest. The only free things you're going to get from now on are the peanuts. We're going to start charging for those and Cokes soon. I know. It's a $2.50, sir. Did you know that they serve monsters energy drinks on planes? I didn't know. I did not either. Yeah. That's exactly what you want sitting next to you. No. 14-year-old kid all wired up on Monster. When I flew to Park City, that's what they were advertising. Oh, you know, we also have Monsters. And people were like, ooh. Like people got all excited about it. Yeah. Jeez. Lauren really, really went out on a limb last night and just went crazy. She had some organic mac and cheese. Wow. It was really out of her mind.

3:58:06What were you, drunk? I was drunk on health. I drank a fifth of vinegar, Michael. Yeah. That was pretty funny. She said that she got home yesterday and she'd gone surfing. There was nothing in the house to eat, so she started eating chocolate chips. Just chocolate chips. Those are so good to snack on. Finally, she had so many of them, she told Matt to stick them someplace that was too high for her to reach. You know, which for me would be the counter, but... Honey, can you put this on the sink? Poor Matt. He's like, really? Organic mac and cheese? He bought it. Really? For you. He bought it. I did put it on the list. Is he a health nut too? Yeah, he's pretty healthy. Is he? He'll go on binges though. He'll be like, I can't take it anymore. And shove like Doritos and donuts. How does he do that and then go back?

3:59:00He feels guilty. Really? I wonder why he feels guilty. I feel guilty every day when I leave here. I know. Every day. Because you're eating a bowl of cereal and she's having okra raw. I went to the grocery store yesterday and when Todd got home, I was like, look what I got you. And I held out the chili cheese freedom. He's like, yes! Yeah, well... I mean, Lauren had almost the exact same thing. Organic mac and cheese. Almost the exact same thing. Made out of wheat. Unbelievable. All right, we got to go. 570-1949 is the number. 570-1949. If you want to give us a call, beginning and end of every show, open phones. You can call about whatever you want. We'd love to talk to you. And Hillary's coming up next. She's usually in here by now. Where is the lovely and talented? I know. Where is she? Where's our lovely Hillary? She knows we go over. She what? She knows we go over. That's right. Let's see. What did I miss? Jay and Lauren went surfing yesterday. Only Lauren's surf day was not good. Jay's was rad. Yeah. Thanks a lot, Jay. Mine was pretty bad, too. Really? Yeah. Mine, too. Mine was on the Internet. Surfed your ass off yesterday. I really did. I really did. Your finger sore today? That's right.

4:00:21I'm super sore. Fingers can barely move. Here she comes. From all that surfing. Let's see. Take a couple calls. Mikey Show, hello. Hey, is... Sorry, bro. My radio is on. Is it on the phone? Yeah, dude. Hey, I want to ask Mike if I can... Has he ever heard from Dave Rickards at all? Yeah, actually, I have, dude. What's going on with them? You're on the air. Hi, everybody. Hi. Hi. I actually have talked to him, and he's doing good, and he's a good dude, man. In terms of, like, what's going on and all that stuff, I didn't even get into that. He was just real supportive of me and real supportive of everything that I'm doing, and he is one of my idols, man, in terms of, like, mentors, I should say. He's definitely a mentor of mine, and I cannot tell you, I just think the world of that guy. He is a class act, man.

4:01:23Just a class act. I was just, I know when you were going through your stuff that you posted that you were in contact with him and he was, you know, you guys were talking a little bit and I just wanted to know and say hi to everybody and say, hey, you guys are doing a great show. You guys make me laugh my butt off every morning. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you, bro. We appreciate it. Thank you. He was asking about Dave from Dave Shelly and Chainsaw, right? Yeah. Yeah. And right after everything happened with me over at the other station, Dave reached out. Super cool. And in fact, we're kind of going through the same thing at the same time. And like I said, I just look up to him and always have. I've just always looked up to Dave. In fact, he was one of those guys that's always gracious to me, always just really nice to me and has continued to be that. Even when there were times where he didn't have to be, he was just always reaching out and just always gracious. I told my wife, I said, man, Dave is just a class act. He is a class. Solid. He is. It's kind of like Hillary and I, you know? It's the same thing. Is that right? Oh, hi, Hillary. Oh, Hillary's here. She's actually here. Oh, I didn't see you standing there. I didn't see you standing in the corner. Hi, Hill. Good morning. How are you? I creep her out every morning at this time. Did you just creep you out? It makes me start sweating.

4:02:47Have that effect on the ladies from time to time and about 40 pounds ago. Do you do the thing with Woods yet where you're looking at your watch and you're like, oh my goodness, it's so fun talking to you. I wish you were off the air because I've got them crooked vultures to play. She's like, I wish it wasn't 1020 and you were still talking to me because I'm just trying to do my job, buddy. You know what I mean? Let's try to get through an airship, pal. What do you got, Hillary? I don't even know what to say. You know what I do have? Have you guys heard the new Devo song? No. Devo recorded a record. Santi Gold produced at least one song on it. Is it Whip It? No, but it's so good. Is it good? Yes, I do not know what to expect. Devo, you know, they've been around forever. I love Devo. I love the new song. It's called Fresh. I'm going to play it within the next 15 minutes. It's awesome. And they're playing Coachella. Nice. Nice. Lovely and talented Hillary. is up next. Enjoy the rest of your day. We will come back here tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. St. Paddy's Day! Yeah, tomorrow is St. Paddy's Day. We'll do it all over again. I get excited. Mikey Osparza. We'll see you back here at 6 o'clock. Mikey Osparza is out late. Financial media is about the music all day and night. FM 94.9. About the music.