The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/17/10
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Wednesday, March 17 2010
Saint Patrick’s Day show edition starts with 8 delicious facts about Guinness beer. “Hugh Beaver” the owner of Guinness invented the Guinness Book of World Records. Woods drops trou to show he’s wearing shamrock green boxers. Alabama digs Leprechauns even though said Leprechaun “might be a crackhead”! Next up is Larry King audio with girl who was attacked by John Gardiner. Kirstie Alley cussing on live TV leads to celebrity crushes and Mikey crying over actress and Woods painting and drawing his favorite celeb. Lauren doctored a photo to make it look like she was hangin’ tough with Donny Walberg. Susanna the intern admits her crush on everyone’s favorite celeb, The Kid. The Incorporator calls a bowling alley that serves green beer and when asked if they have any Irish music dude replies “we got some U2 on the Jukebox”! Sienna reads the line up for the Del Mar Fair bands and Hoyle chimes in. Now Honda is getting into the recall game. A teenaged girl calls in to tell about breaking the rules by taking daddy’s BMW to school and getting it dented wondering what to do. Woods then does some funny creep stuff to other high school girls calling in. Mike Tyson races pigeons and evokes some memories of when he was a great fighter. Woods loved himself some Judy Blume books in grade school. Next we cringe our way through hearing about a root canal done with a paper clip. Lauren doesn’t want to change her last name when she gets married. Name That Irish Actor game is next and Woods kills it. Biggest bra ever is the K cup and an intoxicated woman bites off some ear in a restaurant story closes out the show.
Bumper Music
1. Billy Joel – “Don’t Ask Me Why”
2. E.L.O – “Sweet Talkin’ Woman”
3. Jimmy Eat World – “Sweetness”
4. Journey – “Don’t Stop Believin’ ”
5. Justice – “Genesis”
6. Kanye West – “Love Lockdown”
7. Luis Bacalov – “The Grand Duel”
St. Patrick's DayGuinness beerLeprechaunsTiger Woods returnKirstie Alley/ScientologyCelebrity crushesKids' beliefsIncorporator gameGuinness Book of World RecordsMobile Alabama newsguinnessleprechaun
Mikey, Woodsy, Lauren O'Brien, Sienna Farrar, and Jay Isbell kicked off the St. Patrick's Day show by debating Guinness myths, with Mikey presenting eight facts that Guinness is lighter than Budweiser. They then traced the Guinness Book of World Records to Hugh Beaver's hunting argument, laughed over a Mobile, Alabama leprechaun sighting, and puzzled over the misheard phrase 'hoil our craft' during the incorporator game. Later, Woodsy previewed Tiger Woods's Masters return, critiqued Kirstie Alley's Scientology-linked Organic Liaison, showed his childhood drawings of Amanda Peterson, and listened to kids' earnest leprechaun beliefs.
What happened, in order
Guinness Myths Debunked
Mikey shares eight facts about Guinness, explaining it has less alcohol and fewer calories than Budweiser despite its dark appearance.
Origin of Guinness Book of World Records
Mikey recounts how Hugh Beaver, head of Guinness, created the Guinness Book after an argument over a hunting fact.
Mobile Alabama Leprechaun Sighting
The show discusses a news story from Mobile, Alabama where residents claim to have seen a leprechaun and even made a police sketch.
Hoil Our Craft Confusion
Mikey and the crew mishear "hone our craft" as "hoil our craft" and joke about the phrase while trying to incorporate listener words.
Tiger Woods Return to Golf
Woodsy discusses Tiger Woods announcing his comeback and speculates on how he'll handle press at the Masters.
Kirstie Alley Scientology Controversy
The crew talks about Kirstie Alley's Organic Liaison program and its alleged ties to the Church of Scientology.
Woodsy's Amanda Peterson Crush
Woodsy reveals his childhood crush on Amanda Peterson from Can't Buy Me Love and shows drawings he made of her.
Kids Talk Leprechauns
Sienna interviews young children who describe leprechauns, their habits, and what they think happens if you don't wear green.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienSienna FarrarJay IsbellHugh BeaverTiger WoodsKirstie AlleyAmanda PetersonJerry O'ConnellMatthew McConaugheyRosie O'DonnellChris O'DonnellWoody Harrelson
39,467 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
KBZT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. This is normal opening music and everything, but I'm kind of thinking that because today is St. Patrick's Day, shouldn't we be doing some sort of like St. Patrick's Day thing? Yes. Top of the morning, Michael. Yeah. Everybody's doing a jig. I'm doing my version. Even Jay's doing so kind of a gorilla jig. I'm doing a real small thing. Like if a baby was doing it. All right. I get what you're saying. I understand what you're saying. Mikey's a baby. Yes, I'm very sure. And the humor. Welcome back. Welcome back to the show. We just took a 19-hour commercial break, and now we're back. So it's good to be here with you. You can call us, by the way. Our phone number here is 570-1949. And our text, 949Mikey, at gmail.com.
Is anybody else a little bit out of breath from that jig? You guys a little winded from that? You know I am. Yeah. Have another donut. Do a jig later. Yeah, shout out to VG's. Jay said they hooked it up with the donuts. They did. Delish. They're so good. Even St. Paddy's Day donuts in there. How awesome, right? Delicious. They're so good. I love the VG's. Me too. VG's were a great band. VG. Oh, VG's Donuts. Like a Varence. That's right. Okay, great. Welcome back. Okay, we got so many things to tell you about on this St. Paddy's Day. First of all, I want to tell you who we are. The Mikey Show has five people on it. Myself, Woodsy, O'Brien, she's the official Irish. You know, because with an Irish last name. And also, Sienna is a little Irish, right? Oh, yes. You're a little Irish. Laddy. And Sienna is our news girl. And then you got Jay in the other room. He's our producer. It's good to have you. Everybody, give us a call. You want to talk to Jay? Because he's also our phone screener for the moment. Although we're going to be getting a new phone screener. One day. Soon. Can't wait. Stoked. Soon.
570-1949 is the number. 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to call us. So what is the story about Guinness that you have? Well, I have eight facts about Guinness beer. And there's a lot of misconceptions when it comes to Guinness. People think it's dark, so it must be heavy. What's wrong? I liked that. It was actually a cool play on words. I dug it. What? I thought she got shocked. That's why she was laughing. What did I do? It sounded like you said misconsumption, which is cool because you consume a beer. I liked it. I didn't know that. I just went with it, you know? I liked it. I liked it. What do we got? It's dark, so it must be heavy, but it's not true. Guinness actually contains less alcohol and has fewer calories and carbs than a Budweiser. Is that for real? Uh-huh. It's so good. You would not think that, though, too, because if you've ever had a Guinness, it is... So thick. Yeah, it feels like it's really heavy. You know, it looks thick, but when you drink it, it tastes like water. Really? No, it doesn't taste like water. Yeah, it does. Like, I can pound again. This is delicious. In Ireland, they don't chill it. They keep it underground. Yeah. And everybody that I've ever talked to that's been to Ireland, which is like two people that I just tried to make seem like it was a lot. Right. I just, when I said that, all the people I've talked to. Yeah, all two of them. Mike, two. Yeah. In your whole life, bro, you've known two people that have ever been to Ireland.
But I did that thing we do. They've all said that they keep those big kegs underground, and it keeps them nice and cool, but that it tastes better. That the Guinness in Ireland tastes better than it does if you get it on draft here. That's what I've heard. I don't know why. What makes it black? The dark color comes from roasted barley. Really? Uh-huh. Oh, delicious. There's roasted barley in all kinds of beer, but this one isn't, they don't, it's not malted. Really? Uh-huh. It's weird. And I don't know about stout. I'm not like a beer expert. Yeah. But they always say that Guinness is always about stout. Yeah. And I guess stout just means nothing but strong. Yeah. It also means it kind of tastes like the barrel that it's sat in. It has that sort of strong, barrel-y taste. And Guinness has that really thick head. Yeah. Don't say that, Woods. Don't say that, Woods. It's the head of a beer. You're being inappropriate. Good Lord, Sienna, you know better. It's like softball. Hey, Woods, see if you can knock this one out of the park, man. Guinness has a really thick head. Say it again, for sure. I know, it's fun. Most beers dispensed with pressurized carbon dioxide in Guinness is popularized with a mix of nitrogen and carbon dioxide. Really? I don't know, that's what it says in here. That's why it has a thick head.
Because I'm biting my tongue in half. Just grow up, Peter Pan. No kidding. You know what else about Guinness is if you're going out for a long night with the boys or whatever, they always see drinking Guinness first. Really? Because it coats your stomach. It also makes you full. No, it's good. M1 Stafford, are you there? Yes, sir. Go ahead. I'll tell you what, Mikey. I have been to Ireland. I have to tell you, Guinness does taste 110% better when you drink it in Ireland. Why do you think that is? It's false. Well, I don't know. Like, you know, part of the atmosphere, like, I don't know. I haven't had a beer in like seven months when it happened because I was on my way back from Iraq. But I don't know. I had Guinness again when I got here, and it just wasn't the same. Did you hear, M1 Stafford, that Sienna says it's a misconception? Yep. I was going to get to that, too, because everyone says Guinness tastes so much better in Ireland. Well, it doesn't at all because it's the same deal. It says that the bars you must be getting it from, they must not keep their beer lines clean enough, if that's the case. Really? Yeah. Like the American bars that you go to. Mm-hmm. It shouldn't taste any worse. And it's just you're at a little pub in Ireland. It's charming, you know. Check out this logic, though. Go ahead. I went to Australia, ordered a Foster's.
They looked at me like I had ordered Pabst, okay? Because over there, you know what you drink in Australia? You drink Budweiser. Why do you drink Budweiser? It's an import. Well, it's an import. You don't drink Foster's? Yeah. Foster's in Australia is like, hey, give me a PBR over here. So doesn't the same logic apply? Like Guinness over there, they're probably like, eh. No, they like Guinness over there. Do they? Yeah. I know that you're right, though. I've heard that in Australia, that Budweiser is... Like being here and getting a Heineken. It's a king of beers, by the way. It's an import. You're fancy. You're getting a Budweiser. Kid fit right in real good over there. And it also says that the fact is that Draft Guinness is brewed at St. James Gate, which is right alongside where they brew for Ireland. Like, they're next door. Wow. Yeah, so they say it's false. But everyone says that. He wasn't alone. It's a temperature thing, too, I think. I personally think that we keep our beers real cold here. Yeah. And in Ireland, it's not the same temperature. People are noticing a difference because it's a temperature thing. When you were a beer drinker, did you drink Guinness? Yeah, every once in a while. Yeah. Did you like it warm? Never had it that way. I always had it at the bars. Warm? You know what it reminded me of, though?
See, I can't stand black licorice. Yeah. I hate black licorice. You either like black licorice or you don't. O'Brien, you like it? I hate it, but I love Guinness. You do? Yep. Is it your preferred or you just have it every once in a while? It's not my necessarily preferred if I'm going to have a couple. Yeah. But it's probably my favorite beer, yeah. All right. It's up there for me, too. You don't like it, huh, Sienna? No. It's grody. Go with a Corona. I like the stash that you get. The Guinness stash. So great. Got Guinness. Boy, we should bring that back, right? Got Guinness. Let's bring that campaign back. Rebecca's like, no, no, no. For sure. I don't think she's campaigning for me to bring Guinness back anytime soon. I don't think so. I always kind of thought that this was the case. I always kind of thought that this was the case, but I was like, no, there's no way. What? Guinness beer is responsible for starting the Guinness Book of World Records. No. Yes. That can't be true. It says the head of Guinness at the time, his name was Hugh Beaver. Yes, that was really his name. Come on, you're killing me. You can't just make stuff up. I'm not. These are facts. I'm reading them in articles. Are we playing a game where we have to guess if this is real or fake? No kidding. So far, I'm saying fake. So again, Hugh Beaver. What? He was the head of Guinness.
Which is like squatting down in a fetal position. Because he's just trying not to make a joke. I said Hugh Beaver's the head of Guinness. Oh, my God! Okay, I'll stop. I'll try. All right. So in 1954, I guess he got into an argument with some buddies while he was out hunting. And he always had this little handy reference book, which had all kinds of, you know, facts and stuff that are in the Guinness Book of World Records. And so he was the creator of it. Really? Mm-hmm. He did the very first edition. That's interesting. Love that book. No idea. What country consumes the most Guinness? Obviously, Ireland. No, that's not so obvious. It's got to be a trick question. It is a trick question. We think Ireland, and then you think, oh, nope, they'd never put that, so I'm not going to say Ireland, when in fact, I bet you it's Ireland. Luxembourg. England. Great Britain. Really? Lauren is correct. Oh, my goodness. Good job. More people. Oh, no, maybe there's not. I'll give you the top five. Great Britain. Then Ireland, number two. Nigeria, number three. Big player over there. The United States and Cameroon. How do we not drink more Guinness than Nigeria? It's time to step up our game over here. Is Nigeria under the British Empire? I don't know. I don't know. Man, that's a smart question. Like, what type of smart question is that? I believe.
The captain of the War of 1812, didn't they take over Nigeria? No, I believe what you're doing is you're thinking of Greek mythology, and it was the Greek god Prathias that actually coined that phrase, which is what you're thinking of. Correct. I've often made that mistake myself, actually. That's actually Lauren and one of her friends talking on a Sunday over breakfast. Yeah, Sunday breakfast. Anyway, cheerio. Cheers. I'm part of the physics club. Exactly. The physics club. Thank you. That was lovely. And then the last one is, again, I don't know much about the stout, but it says stout's pretty much always been going to be the tell-all, be-all of Guinness, true or false? True. I will say false. Mikey, you are correct. Thank you. Darn it. What's the deal with it? It says Guinness has never feared to innovate. This often resulted in hilariously unintended consequences, such as Guinness Smooth, Guinness Brio, which is a wheat beer, and Guinness Shandy, a mix of lemonade and beer. All of us, by the way, myself, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna, are wearing green. Jay, our producer, not wearing green. No green. I put a green highlighter in his pocket. Really? Can I show you guys something? What? What, Woodsy? Oh, what are you doing? You're unbuttoning your pants. You're unbuttoning, buckling. What are you doing? Oh, he's showing us green boxers. Green boxers. Shamrocks. Shamrock boxers. I love them. Are those from the Gap? Lauren's like, all right, well, here, check this. Yeah.
If you were watching the Mikey show on camera at MikeyShow.com, you just saw Woodsy show all his boxer shorts. I brought the thunder today. You know, he could have just like pulled him up a little bit. He had to take his belt. Unbuckle his belt. Unbutton. Hey, Sienna, why do we pinch people if they don't wear green? What's the deal with it? Do you have any guesses? I don't know. No, I really don't. I hate being pitched. Is it to replicate like a leprechaun bite? Ah, that is brilliant. It's something similar. Well, it's an American tradition that started in the 1700s, and they thought if you wore green, it made you invisible to the leprechauns, which was good because they would pinch anyone they could see. So, now, pinching was a warning to remind you that the leprechauns can see you. Leprechauns, as you know, real thing. Yeah, 100% real. Obviously real. If it wasn't real, then this would not have been a news story. From Mobile, Alabama. Curiosity leads to large crowds in Mobile's Crichton community. Many of you bring binoculars, camcorders, even camera phones to take pictures. To me, it look like a leprechaun to me. I got to do a little bit of a tree. Who else in the leprechaun say yeah? Yeah! When witnesses say the leprechaun only comes out at night, if you shine a light in its direction, it suddenly disappears.
This amateur sketch resembles what you say the leprechaun looks like. It's a police sketch of a leprechaun. Others find it hard to believe and have come up with their own theories and explanations for the image. My theory is it's casting a shadow from the other limb. Could be a crackhead. I love that. Sounds like Wanda Sykes. It does. Could be a crack in. Could be a crack in. I want to hear that over and over again. This guy helping to direct traffic says he's prepared for his encounter with the leprechaun. He's suited up from head to toe. This waters off spells right here. This is a special leprechaun flute which has been passed down from thousands of years ago from my great-great-grandfather. Others just came to get lucky in hopes a pot of gold may be buried under this tree. I'm going to run a backhoe and uproot that tree. I want to know where to go. I want the gold. Give me the gold. That's the greatest thing I've ever seen. The greatest thing ever. I want to know where to go. I want the gold. Give me the gold. I want the gold.
Do you think he wants a goal? I think he does. Could be a crackhead. We need to save that. Save. That's it. Done. Could be a crackhead. Thank you. It's the greatest thing. Both of them. I love them. I want to know where to go. I want to go. Give me the go. I want to go. Could be a crackhead. That's my favorite. I want to go to Mobile, Alabama. I'm telling you. I'm telling you, it's the greatest thing ever. I'm actually from Mobile, Alabama. I know. Really? Yeah, I am. Do you know any of those people in the news? I know all of them in Mobile. It's a small community, so you know everybody. Did you ever see the leprechaun? Of course I did. Are you the leprechaun? That ain't a joke yet. I told you, when I tell a joke, you count to 1,001 in your head, and then you hit the little... I did, but you said leprechauns were real. That wasn't a joke. Wasn't a joke. I bet Mobile misses you, dude. That wasn't a joke either. I mean, that wasn't a joke to say that they miss me. They probably do miss me. That's not a joke. That's not being funny. Y'all need to come in after the show today. Really? Yeah. We got plans. Yeah, you know what your plans are? Y'all are going to come in and hoil your craft.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say... Yeah, I did. Hoil our craft? Yeah, I did. Don't you mean hone our craft? No, I don't. That's different. I like hoil your craft. Well, that's what you're going to do. Okay. Hoil our craft. Yeah. I think it means drink because it's St. Patrick's Day? No, that ain't what it is, Sienna. Oh. All y'all have to come in and you hoil in on a particular... You can't make your name a verb. Like, hey, we're going to go woods this thing today. That doesn't make any sense. Get. That was pretty good. That wasn't bad, dude. You said it wrong, but get, get. Thank you. Thank you. But y'all come in. I'll teach you how to oil the craft and we'll get it done. Okay. Thank you, Wade. Thank you. Mike, are you going to stand for that? Mike, he just said we have to oil our craft. Well, listen. He's got his ideas on how things should work. Truth be known about Hoyle. Good be a crackhead. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, Wanda Sykes. I love that. Let's see. It's like Wanda Sykes' sister or something. It is. To me, it look like a leprechaun to me. I got to do a little bit of a treat. Who else in the leprechaun say yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so for those of you that haven't seen the video.
Please go to MikeyShow.com. It's on my blog from last night. It's fantastic. It's some of the great... It's a real news story from Mobile, Alabama. It's one of the greatest things ever. They should have won an Emmy. There's no question. They should have won an Emmy for that story. The amateur sketch is... There's nothing like it. It's on my blog. I watched it, I don't know, 40 times last night. Had you ever seen it before? I'd seen it like years and years ago. Totally forgot about it. If anybody ever wants to know what to get me for my birthday, I would like the amateur sketch framed and I would like it to say amateur sketch underneath it. And that's it. Not of a leprechaun, just amateur sketch. So that people can ask. what is that an amateur sketch of? And I'll say, what do you mean, what is that an amateur sketch of? It look like a leprechaun to me. Who else in the leprechaun say yeah? Oh, I want to go there. Dude, I would do anything to have those people in studio for the day. How fantastic is that? It's the best. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Huge, huge news came out yesterday concerning Tiger Woods.
So if you haven't heard, Woodsy will fill you in on Woods on Sports and some big developments. Well, not developments, but there was a big San Diego story that was talked about last night on Larry King that had to do with the Chelsea King case and John Gardner. So we'll tell you all about it coming up to Mikey Show. You're listening to The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Coming to San Diego Saturday, March 27th. Air. Air. March 27th at the 4th and B. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Air's brand of electronica music influenced by the synthesizers of the 70s live at the 4th and B. Saturday, March 27th. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com for Air. March 27th at the 4th and B. Must be 21 with proper ID. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff we get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What'd you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinated for 24 hours.
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Good morning. This report brought to you by Carfax. Don't waste your cash on a clunker. Ask your dealer for a free Carfax vehicle history report. Choose a great used car. Just say show me the Carfax. Go to Carfax.com. On the 78 westbound between Center City Parkway, Nordall Road, it's a little slow. Also Camp Pendleton southbound side, 5 southbound between Oceanside Harbor Drive, Cassidy Street. We're looking at speeds in the upper 40s. This report brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. Take advantage of unbeatable savings on the tires and automotive service that you need. during the Spring Savings event right now at Firestone Complete Auto Care. Call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the location nearest you. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can back up like nobody's business into spots. What I can't do is parallel park. Woods. I drive fast, I smoke, I'm at the radio on, I'm on my phone. Lauren. I like fried chicken. Zienna. I love cruises. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9. In your breadcrumbs. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Obviously, Irish music? No. Billy Joe's a big Irishman. Nah. By the way, a M1 is a Mikey Show listener. If you're part of M1 Nation, you tune into the Mikey Show. And we thank you so much for helping to make the Mikey Show a big hit here in San Diego. We appreciate that. By the way, Hillary and Tommy are broadcasting live today.
At our annual St. Patrick's Day event that we do at Hoolies in Rancho San Diego. That is happening today. It's so cool. And we would love for you to join them out there. Check it out. Listen to it on the radio. It's going to be really fun. That's happening today. And it's St. Patrick's Day. We've been getting all kinds of little St. Patrick's Day facts throughout the day. Little nuggets. Little nuggets. Okay. So. Larry King alive last night. There was a gal that... We actually got a phone call about this after the Chelsea King thing happened. Yeah, after the story broke. Sienna? This happened back in December. Candice Moncayo was the woman who was also assaulted by John Gardner. However, she got away. He pinned her down. You know, all of that. It happened at the Rancho Bernardo Community Park. Same place that Chelsea King was...
Abducted. Abducted, yeah. And so she was on Larry King last night talking about what really happened. You were attacked. I was at Lake Hodges. I was going for a run, and I was just about to finish it. What time of day? In the morning, about 1030. Do you live in the San Diego area? I don't. My family does, and I was home for Christmas break. You're a student at Colorado, right? Yes, I go to the University of Colorado. You're going to be a teacher, right? Yes, hopefully. So what happened there? Well, I was coming. It's morning. It's light out. It's morning. It's light out. It was a beautiful day. She's like, I can tell the story, Larry. I mean, I got it. You just give me two seconds. I'll tell you the story. She's 22, by the way. 22 years old. Yeah. The entire time. And I was coming up to the end of the trail and was inside of the houses. And.
I noticed a man who was walking towards me, and I noticed him because he was not dressed in workout clothes, but he was so close to the houses that I just assumed that he was a resident going for a walk because the day was so beautiful. And he waited until we were next to each other and then tackled me and threw me to the side of the trail. And he... Nobody around? Nobody around, no. That is terrifying. Terrifying. I'm just imagining it because I've been in so many encounters like that when you're coming towards someone and you're like, you kind of think something, but you're like, meh. And then you just walk past them, you know. But he waits till the last second till they're right next to each other to grab her. They tell you in those situations, in self-defense courses and things, if you follow your gut and you feel intimidated by somebody, you look them in the eye. Because that way, you know, it might trigger to them, okay, they got a good look at me if they do get away or whatever. But it looks like this guy had maybe worse intentions. He just didn't care. You know what I would do too? If I was a woman, I would, if I'm walking, first of all, I have like a whistle around my neck. And I put it in my mouth if I see somebody walking towards me. And if they think I look weird, fine. Great. So be it.
I look like a weirdo. Great. Better to look weird than... You got it. Absolutely. But the trail had been so populated that in my mind, I just kept thinking that I only needed to be... I only needed to fight for a little while because the trail was so populous. It was a bright day and a populated trail. He's taking a risk, right? He was. He was. Did you scream? Oh, like crazy. At the top of my lungs. He actually told me to shut up. When I was screaming and I told him no. Did he have a weapon? He didn't, no. You know, everything she's saying, ladies, soak it up. Yeah. Take in everything she's saying. If he says shut up, you scream your head off. Yeah. She kept screaming. She just kept making noise. By force of strength. Yes. Yes. The man who attacked me is a very large man. He's very large. Did he fully rape you? No, he didn't. He didn't rape me at all. What did he do? No. He threw me down onto the ground and he pinned me to the ground. Like I said, I was screaming and he said, shut up. A lot of people don't know this about Larry King. I'm going to tell you something about Larry King that people don't know. Larry purposefully does not have notes on people.
He doesn't have notes on people, so it may have sounded weird when he asked that question. The reason is because he purposefully doesn't want to know too much about them because he believes that the interview comes from his own curiosity, which is, I do that too. I have bullet points, but I don't really want to know. I want the interview to be driven by whatever I'm interested in. The fallback is it can sound weird. It can sound weird. And I said no. And he said, he told me to shut up again. And I said no. And then I said, well, you're going to have to kill me first because I thought that he was trying to rape me. And he said, that can be arranged. And there was a small moment of silence. And then there was some intervening conversation that I'm not comfortable discussing. At one point, he picked me up by my shoulders and he started shaking me the way that you're not supposed to save a child. And I managed to get one hand on the ground, my left hand, and I took my right elbow and I bashed him in the nose. Nice. And he grabbed his face and turned away from me and yelled some things. And I got up and I ran faster than I think I've ever run in my life. Did you come up upon someone? No, I had to run to a house.
And there was someone home at the house? There was, yeah. They were very kind. Where did the person who attacked you go? I looked back over my shoulder once, and he had left the trail and was kind of heading over a small hill that was to the left of the trail from the position that I was taking. In your mind, was he going to rape you? At the time, that was my first thought. Did you report it right away? Absolutely. I called the police. from the people's houses that I knocked on the door at. And then when you saw what happened to Chelsea King, you had to immediately react to that, right? You know, I actually didn't see it. I'm kind of embarrassed to do this on television, but I don't have cable. And so I found out, I know. Lauren? So I found out through my family that something had happened. And to be honest, my first response was, One of great fear and great anxiety and at the same time great hope that they were not connected. Why do you think you weren't raped? I think I wasn't raped for a couple of reasons. One, because I fought back. Two, because I come from a background that has prepared me in some ways for that kind of a situation. And three, the grace of God. Background how?
My father is actually a five-time world champion kickboxer. And so I've been in martial arts for most of my life. Nice. And while I can't claim that any kind of training was responsible for it. But you got that thing in the nose. I did get it in the nose. But more than that, I think that there's an awareness that comes with those kinds of things. It makes you think, right, about your... I'm going to sign myself up. Yeah, please do. Right? Seriously. It makes you kind of, as a woman, does it make you think, yeah, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like she's and I don't like want to sound bad, but she's not a very dainty girl, you know, and it's I don't mean I just mean it like sturdy, like but like Chelsea King was very small and young and looked really innocent and he still went after her. And it's just like they'll go after anyone. They don't care. Yeah. What bothers me is that she reported it. He obviously was a registered sex offender. They had his face. They had his mugshot somewhere. Couldn't find him. She had a description of him. Couldn't find him. See, and this is the thing. Like, I don't know how often this happens. I don't know how often this happens. But if this, I'm just thinking like a justice citizen. I'm like, if it happens, does anybody have a problem with her giving a description and a...
police sketch and it being posted everywhere. Right. I would hope. On the news, everything, you know. Maybe flip through some mug shots. See how, oh, that's him. That's the guy. Right. Oh, this is where he lives? We're going to go talk to him. I mean, it's just. See if his nose is busted. It's just so crazy that it happened in the exact same place that this happened to her and it's like, really? Really? This could have so easily been prevented. Yep. It just drives me nuts. Heartbreaking. You know what, too? I just got an idea for legislation because we spend a lot of money. Right. In the state of California. You know, we just we just approved a, you know, a billion dollar high speed, high speed train that's going to go from L.A. to San Francisco, which I think is so dumb. Taxpayer money on cameras that are put up in all places like that that say you're being watched, you're being monitored, you know, because it just takes away an opportunity. You know what I mean? I think it makes people think twice. And it's just like if that was put up as a law, I would be like, yeah, I'll vote for that. I'll spend tax dollars on something like that. Safety? Absolutely. You know, of course. The whole time she's talking, I'm thinking no one else has come up yet. There's no one else walking by because it shows you run where there's people around. Like, I mean, that's crazy to me that there was no one else walking by.
And I've been where she's talking about before, and you would think there are houses right there. Someone wouldn't try something so gutsy, but someone like him, they're going to... Eyes on the prize. Whatever it takes, they want. It's an insatiable desire to be evil. Yeah, it's true. It's true. Go ahead. I was just going to say, I have a list of those points. Like the elbow is actually the strongest point on the body. And that is, she did exactly what you're supposed to. You're supposed to try to use your elbow. And I have a list of those things that should you encounter somebody that makes you feel uncomfortable. I'll put it on my blog. That's awesome. That would be great. That'd be great. The only one I'm not going to ask you to even go near it was I imagine crude. Yes. Not. Yeah, I suppose that would be a good way to put it. Were the authorities very cooperative? They were wonderful. I didn't meet a single police officer who was anything less than kind and helpful and took everything very seriously. What mark has this left on you? A deep one. It's something I think I'll be dealing with for the rest of my life. Just the other week I was running and I had to pass a gentleman on the trails and he was going for a hike.
He had to stop and let me pass, so I had to come close to him. And, you know, I burst into tears and I think ruined his run. So I'm ashamed about that a bit. I'm amazed you still go out running. I went out the next day with my sister's boyfriend's pit bull. But the next day, I felt if I didn't get back on the horse right away that I never would. Kickboxing training, and you're out with a pit bull. That girl is awesome. Candice Monkio. Man. Love her. Listen, running with a dog sounds great. Especially a pit bull. Yeah. I'm telling you, man. I mean, that is the scariest stuff to me. 570-1949. Our text here, 949mikey at gmail.com. If you want to write us a text, why don't we tell you about some of this? Woodsy. Woods on sports. Woods, woods, woods. Woods, woods, woods.
Woods on Sports. Yeah. Woods. Yeah. Woods on Sports. Biggest story of the day. Tiger Woods announces his return to competitive golf yesterday, and he will play in the Masters, far and away the greatest golf tournament ever. You're right. Yeah, it is phenomenal. It's scheduled for April 8th through the 11th. Tiger will be there. He hasn't won since 2005. And, you know, there are guys that think he can literally come back from all of this and win it. Here's Rocco Mediate, one of my personal favorites on Tiger. Cut three. If anybody can make that his first win after a long layoff, he's already proved he can do it before. This is a little more difficult probably because, you know, mentally it's been tough on him. He's gone through a lot, I guess, from what I've read and what I've heard. But if anybody can pull it off, he can pull it off. You know, the thing that I think may be a deal out there is hecklers. Well, here, that's great that you bring that up because...
There's not a better place to play. At Augusta, they'll grab you. They'll throw you out. Really? Immediately. I was actually curious as to how he was going to handle himself. There is a lot of press there. There's a Sports Illustrated columnist, Rick Riley, pretty famous dude. He has a good idea about how that's going to work. Cut one. I think we'll get in that press room on Tuesday for his usual Tuesday morning 10 a.m. presser, which he always does on Tuesday of the Masters. And one of those gentlemen will get up and say, Ladies and gentlemen, we're requesting that there'll be no questions about the incident. No questions at all. And because they run their own system there, they can yank your badge, your press badge, forever. It's a great place for Tiger to dodge these questions, at least until the next tournament. So I think there'll be, I'm just guessing, I'm just guessing he'll either do no press conference or something very short, brief, and sanitized. Absolutely. And that place, Mike, has stories like you would not believe. Really? My dad has told me a few. And we can talk about them sometime. It's super, super fascinating. We'll talk about it Masters Week. Some of the intricacies of Augusta. Nice. I probably botched that word. And last but not least, Kenny Perry, who is a golfer. He's a really good golfer. He personally is glad that Tiger's back. Cut to.
It's awesome to have your stud back, our star. So he carried our tour. I thank him every day because my paycheck has really risen because of him. And our sport really grew because of him. So you know what? We all forgive him. He's come back. We're his family out here. I just want to give the guy a hug and give him a handshake and get him on back out here and get him playing great golf again. So I want to beat him. Kenny Perry, also famous because he came out with a new lip gloss yesterday that tells you if a girl's in the mood, Sienna was talking about that. That's Katy Perry, Mike. Color me embarrassed. I thought, you know, when you said Kenny Perry, I was like, oh, man. I kissed a girl when I left. She's really cute. She's really cute. Well, Ben Roethlisberger has yet to meet with authorities regarding the sexual assault investigation that happened in Milledgeville, Georgia, on March 5th. He's not yet been charged in the case, and his attorney says, quote, he doesn't have to speak with police if he doesn't want to. Yes, he does, doesn't he?
My dad can beat up your dad. Yeah. I mean, don't you kind of have to, though? I think you do kind of have to talk to the cops. At some point, once you imagine. As you guys all know, LT has chosen the New York Jets to be his new team. He signed a two-year deal worth about $5.2 million. And luckily for him, they re-signed Tony Richardson to help clear some holes for him. He was really torn between the Vikings and the Jets. There's both good opportunities. And here he is talking about what made this so difficult for him in cut four. Well, it was pretty tough. But, you know, when it comes down to it, you got to go with your gut feeling no matter what. You know, you just got to go with a feel. And that's what I did. Well, all I know is that he's gone and it bothers me. Yep. I don't care if it's the Jets or the Vikings or whatever. It bothers me. It's going to be so weird seeing the Chargers come back and it's going to be half the team missing. I got to look at the schedule and see if the Jets play here. I bet. I bet they're going to play here at the end of the season and the postseason. Yeah, they're going to be pretty strong. That's what we've been doing. We've been meeting up with them. That it, Woodsy? That's it, my brother. Let's see. Did you know that there was a big story about Kirstie Alley? She apparently cursed yesterday on television. Did you know about it?
Kirstie. Yeah, she was on the Today Show and apparently didn't know that there's some words that you can't say on television. Welcome to Kirstie Alley's Organic Liaison. The plan costs over $1,700 for one year's membership and supply of supplements. And the company behind Organic Liaison is drawing some attention for its possible connection with the Church of Scientology. Kirstie is a well-known member of the church. Many of the executives seem to be top-level Scientologists. The company's headquarters is in Clearwater, Florida, in the same building as one of the Scientology offices. So there's a lot of questions about how close these two groups are and if this isn't really just a front for Scientology. Kirstie Alley, good morning to you. Good morning. You know, I wasn't going to start with the whole Scientology controversy, but I watched you watching that. Well, it's such... No, you cannot. We can't. No, you cannot. No, you cannot. Have you been in front of a TV for the past 20 years? Yeah. Can I do that? No, you can't do that. No, you cannot. Well, no, you cannot. I wasn't going to start with the whole Scientology controversy, but I watched you watching that. Well, it's such... Can we hear something? Oh, no. No, you cannot. We can't. No, you cannot. It's Busha. It's Busha. Busha. It's not true.
It's not true. So there's no connection between the same buildings. That's the wackiest thing I've ever heard. It's boosaw, boosaw. You didn't know that you couldn't, you can't say that? Really? Really. I just got nervous saying boosaw. In the Church of Scientology, nothing. No, zero. And the top executives, I'm the top executive. Now, on the East Coast, that went out. Just live. Yeah, live. Oh, yeah, the East Coast. It's live, man. People are like, wait, excuse me. Great. I thought after the wardrobe malfunction, nothing was necessarily live. Well, I don't know if they have it on some sort of a delay, but I don't know how they could, they would have had to dump the whole thing. Yo, girl, you mean when I pulled Janet Jackson's boob out? That's right. Is that what you mean, girl? That wasn't a wardrobe malfunction, girl. Justin, you messed everything up. That wasn't a wardrobe malfunction, dog. Yeah, it was, dog. You actually messed it all up by doing that. I pulled a boob out on my own. I know you did, but that's what ruined it for all of us. Only malfunction was my hand on her boob. That's right. And you're being inappropriate. Well, yeah, you are, because then you ruined it for everybody in broadcasting. That's fine.
Now we can barely have Kirstie Alley on TV. Kirstie Alley is more known now for being overweight than she was for ever being on Cheers. I know. She was really cute when she was on Cheers. Look Who's Talking. Yeah, the movie Look Who's Talking. She was the bee's knees. I had a crush on her back in the Cheers days. Yeah, back in Cheers. She was really, really cute. Did you ever have a crush on somebody when you were a kid that was... And instantly, Woodsy winced. I had a crush on Christy McNichol. You don't know who that is, right, Sienna? No idea. I don't even know who that is. You don't either? No. Lauren? Of course you do, right, Jay? Of course I do. You knew Taft. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now. Thanks. Even Woodsy didn't get that one. Taft the president. Go with Abe Lincoln or something like that. I thought that was some show she was in. Yeah. I'm trying to think of Christy. Is it Christy McNichol? Christy McNichol. I'm trying to think of her. 70 star. Okay. She was on... She was 70? Yeah, she was in 70s. She was 70? No. She was a 70 star. That's a weird whole other deal. I had a crush on her that was so strong. That? What was she in, first of all? A television program called Family.
Family? Real quick. Is that her? Oh, God, really? Oh, my goodness. You just humiliated me. Oh, my gosh. She's like 12 in that picture. Well, I was like seven. She's cute. That's the best you could have done? I was seven. I was seven. Ted Dancer. Did you send her a fan letter? No. What'd you do? Did you send her your skin? You sent her your ear? I peeled my skin off my arm for you. Ew. I... Christy. Shut up. Okay, this... She's young, Mike. I was seven, dude. Well, I think she was five. I'm trying to get the full... She wasn't five. She was an older woman. She was like 12 or 13. I was like... She has a hair helmet. She's wearing eight. It was the 70s. That was the style. Oh, God, who's that? It's a different Christy. I'm Googling this. I was six or seven. Now, we were... We were driving home.
from a long trip and my crush on her was so powerful i can't say it i have bad ones too oh i've got i'll have you all beat i promise i want to hear the end of this because i think i was just i can't say it but i'll whisper it to woods and then you can say it it's one of those it's one of those Okay, Woods is going around. Mike's turning off his mic so he can whisper to Woods. He's covering his mouth, so I can't even see what he's saying. And Woods, uh-oh, Woods has an expression like, oh, no, you didn't, Cubby. Grow up, Peter Pan. What happened? Well. Woods, you say it. The little guy was real upset. This was on a road trip? This was on a road trip. A road trip with your family. With my family in the back seat. Your back seat. Very silently. Very silently. Silently, he sat there and he started thinking about his great, great love for her. Christy McNichol. And he started to cry. Wait. Do you know why? Do you know why? Do you know why? Spontaneously? Yeah. Not spontaneously. It was like emotions were bubbling over. Emotions were so bubbling over. You know why I was crying? Because I couldn't have her at that moment.
She couldn't be mine. Hey, if you saw her, maybe you could have written I love you into the palm of her hand like you did the other girl. You are such a monster. Mikey told a girl he loves her by writing it in the palm of her hand. I love you. Yeah. That's precious. Amazing. We all have those crushes. My stomach feels like vomiting right now. Why? It wasn't even bad. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You're seven. Michael, shut up. You're dead. Yeah. Woods, whatever came on your face was something. Oh, it's coming, dude. Believe me. It's bad. You're going to tell us? Oh, yeah. I'll tell you. If you ever had a crush on a celebrity that was really, like, extreme and extraordinary, call us at 5701-949. Please. Happy St. Patrick's Day. You could also text us. You're probably going to text us because you're too humiliated to call. I wish I could text mine in. As an anonymous person. You have one? Yeah. I mean, but it has to be. It ruined a friendship. Really? A celebrity crush when I was little. Oh, I want to know. I want to know. I want to know. 570-1949. Voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. It's time for What's Cooking at Cox with Sam the Cooking Guy.
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I can't help her. I can't help. Well, get ready to turn the tables on your boy here. All right. Do you guys remember a movie called Can't Buy Me Love? Yeah. Patrick Dempsey. Patrick Dempsey, which is Mc... McSteamy. McDreamy. He plays McDreamy. I guess. Yeah. Well, there was a young lady in that movie, and her name was Amanda Peterson. Mm-hmm. And she played a character named Cindy Mancini, head cheerleader. Amazing. Yeah. Amazing. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What was your wife's background? She's a head cheerleader. Wow. Trying to marry Amanda whatever. Mancini. Cindy Mancini. Amanda Peterson's her real name. If you're listening, I'm still here for you. That got creepy. You're married. It's so weird because Woods' wife's name is Mindy Cantina. It was until she changed it to Jamie Woods. I got really... obsessive about her. So obsessive that I thought that I would take up painting. And when I would paint, I would paint and sketch little portraits of her. Are you kidding me? Watercolors? Watercolors. Look at my face and tell me that's a true story. It's a true story. Are you kidding me? How have I not known this about you? Because I don't tell anybody. How old were you? 7th grade. Mike, you know the most embarrassing part? Oh, there's more of an embarrassing part to it?
She was a really saucy little angel, and she drove this little white, I think it was a cabriolet, VW cabriolet. Remember those? Yeah. And I always thought she was so cool because Patrick Dempsey used to run and jump in the front seat of it. They jump over. It's like a good convertible. Yeah, I painted a picture of that, too. No, you didn't. The car? Yeah, no, no. Wow. Where are the pictures? They've been destroyed. No way. Yeah. It was an obsession, and I'm really creeped out by it. I think if I saw her, I would, like, weep. Wait, wait, wait. I guarantee not all of them have been destroyed. Of course they haven't. Of course they haven't. I swear. Please go through the attic. As far as you know. As far as we know. As far as we know. Woods, what? You painted them? Yeah, I sketched some. I called, like, you know, put in, like, some chocolate. No, I don't know. When you go, you know, I, no, I don't know what you. Yeah, I really got into painting. And I thought, what better muse? And Amanda Peters? She's your muse? She was my muse. Woods. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm going to name some mediums you tell me if you did an Amanda Peterson. Chalk? Yes. Oh, I love this moment. Oil? Yes. Wow, I love this moment so much. Is it oil or oil paint? Oil paint. Oil as well.
Not oil, like motor oil, no. Pastels? I'm looking at Woods right now as if a crocodile were in the studio. I'm fascinated. I'm fascinated right now. Woods, if you're just tuning in... If you're just tuning in, Woods just told us that he had a crush on Amanda Peterson from the movie Can't Buy Me Love. And he had a crush on her to the point where he drew pictures of her with... The following mediums. Chalk. Oil paint. Charcoal. No. Is that for real? For real. Oh, my gosh. What? My hands are up to my face like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. I got really into, you know, painting and sculpt. Not sculpting. Pencils. What did your mom say during this? They weren't real stoked about it. They knew that you were drawing pictures of a man. Yeah. That's a really nice cabriolet. I just kind of played it off as, you know, I'm just learning to paint and draw and things like that. And I thought I would work on some Amanda Petersons. Yes. Rough estimate. Rough estimate. 15. Did any of your friends ever find them? Yeah, my friends saw them. Oh, and you're alive today? I'm alive today. Did you have a little workstation dedicated? I did. I had a little easel. No, no. I had a little easel.
Sounds more like a shrine. Yeah, I had a little easel. Did you hang them on the walls? Yeah. In your bedroom? In my bedroom. Of course he hung them on the... Why not a real picture? He hung. Hey, Mom? Yes? Do you know where my Amanda Peterson, me jumping into the cabriolet chalk is? It's woods jumping into the cabriolet. It's me jumping into the cabrio, but it's my chalk one. It's not my pencil. I have two. I have the one of me jumping into the cabrio, and it's in pencil, and that one's still here. But I can't feel my chalk one, Mom. I'm dead. Wow. And, of course, your mother said, Stephen? It's a healthy habit. Grow up, Peter Pan. Yeah, grow up, Peter Pan. Totally healthy habit. Yeah, it's very healthy. I was really...
Weird. Like, that must have taken a lot of time when your friends are like, dude, let's go outside, play some ball. No, I've got sketches to do. I'm busy. I'm shading her upper lip. Don't come in. Don't come in. Don't come in. Don't you open that door, lady. Mom, it says do not disturb on my door. Worst part is. I'm about as good an artist as that person that drew that leprechaun. There's a story in the news from Mobile, Alabama of a leprechaun. It's on my blog. The only thing funnier than Woodsy painting pictures of Amanda Peterson driving a cabriolet with him jumping into it is the fact that he drew pictures of him jumping into a cabriolet driven by Amanda Peterson and they were bad. They were awful. That's the only thing funnier than the fact that he did it at all. I bet he drew himself with, like, gigantic muscles. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. I looked dynamite. Like a superhero. M1 Kelly, are you there? Yes. Go ahead. Well, it was 1977, and I was with my friends. We were all in sixth grade watching Leif Garrett at the Del Mar Fair play on stage. And we're right at the front of the stage, but the stage is, like, 20 feet tall, you know?
I guess they didn't know much about stage design and front row seats. But we looked straight up, and I really couldn't see them. So I'm telling my friends, I'm going to get backstage. I've got to meet Leif Garrett, you know. And I did. I maneuvered through this rubber curtain thing. That's awesome. Awesome. Back to all these trailers were like all these sporadic trailers. I just cruised around like I belong there, and there were people looking at me. They didn't say anything. There was this kid. And I walk up and I don't know, I kind of went to the most popular trailer that people were really going in and out of. And there he was in his black leather pants. And I grab a napkin and it's all I had. I said, will you please sign this? And he did. Wow. I was absolutely beside myself because I had, you know, posters of him and, you know. How about paintings or portraits? The kids in the background like, Mom, what about Dad? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah, my cousin Nikki, same thing, Leif Garrett, really into Leif Garrett. Oh, yeah, he was hot. Hey, one of the engineers here at FM 94.9, JR, JR actually carried Leif Garrett on his shoulders to get him through a bunch of girls, screaming girls that were, you know what I mean? I had them all to myself. It was a real intimate little situation.
Did you French? Did you French? I get back to French within a half hour and show my little napkin, and they just couldn't believe it. I was always really daring, would do anything for attention. How old were you? It was sixth grade, so I was probably 10, 10, 11. So, you know, I was like a superstar. Wow. Do you still have the napkin? I do. I knew it! Wow! Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah. It's in my little taste of memories. It's my trophy from Pop Warner Cheerleading. And how many times have you told that story? Not so many. What? What? Not that I'm embarrassed. It's just kind of past day now. You need to shout it over a mountain. Leif Garrett. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was really cool. And he was in his hottest time, you know, in his black leather one-piece suit thing. And now, if you look at him now, it's like, oh, dude, what happened? Yeah. Thank you for the call. I think meth happened is what happened to Lafayette. That is fantastic. See, I loved Jonathan Taylor Thomas. And I told you that I lost a friend because of it. Who is Jonathan Taylor Thomas? Hey, listen. If you don't know who Eric Clapton is, it's okay for me to not know who Jonathan Taylor Thomas is. He was only Randy from Home Improvement. Randy? Of course.
Brandy from Home Improvement. It's not Jonathan Thomas. It's Jonathan Taylor Thomas. We're just going to Google it. We call him JTT. He was the voice. Oh, I wrote on my binders, Sienna plus JTT, JTT equals sign heart. Really? Crazy, crazy stuff. Can I say something that's going to break Sienna's heart? What? When I was younger, people used to say I looked like the girl that played the actress that was his girlfriend. Get out of my face right now. Get out of my face right now. Get out of my face. So, oh, God. He also played, he was the voice of Simba on The Lion King. And when I found that out, I was first in line to see The Lion King. Oh, he is pretty hot. He is so cute. Yeah, that's him. He's a good-looking kid. Reminds me of my crush on Scott Baio. He, I mean, you guys, he was like, whoa. Yeah. Big deal. So he was in The Lion King, and I would listen to the soundtrack of The Lion King. Over. And over and over. It wasn't him singing. But because he was in the movie, I had to listen to it. Over. I'm going to be a mighty king. I mean, seriously. Psychotic. How did you lose a friend? Because I was like, Mom, I'm obsessed with this guy. We need to get me on the set of Home Improvement because you could go and watch it live. And so my mom is a miracle worker. And she tried every angle. And she had to come home one day and say, Sienna, I'm really sorry, but there's an age limit. You're too young to go on the set. And I was like.
No! How old were you? I think I was like in sixth grade. How old were you? 10? No, no. Yeah, 12. Something like that. And I had a friend that was in eighth grade. And her name was Lindsay. And Lindsay knew how much I liked Jonathan Taylor Thomas. And she was old enough to go on the set. And she went, but I didn't know about it because she invited a friend. And she invited some friend who didn't even care about Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I know. And she brought the friend. And then the next day at school, when she came home from the viewing of Home Improvement, she showed me a picture of her and Jonathan Taylor Thomas. And Jonathan Taylor Thomas had his arm around her. And I couldn't do it. And, oh, I flipped out. I was like, how could you not bring me? And never again. Still to this day. You say the name Lindsay, I cringe. I cringe. You don't like it? She's awful. O'Brien, did you have one? Oh, I had, well, first of all, I had a crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas, too, but I was older than him, so I was robbing the cradle. I like him older, too. You little creep. But I played around with some arts and crafts myself, Woods. Oh, yeah? Yeah. What'd you do? Did you crochet a sock?
For Jonathan Taylor Thomas? No, but I did a little Photoshop before there was Photoshop. What is that? It was a family picture, just a family snapshot of all of us in Disneyland or something, Disney World or something like that. The whole family? Whole family, yeah. The O'Brien clan, right? The O'Brien clan. Yeah. Erin Gobra. Right. And there was one where I was, like, next to my brother or something like that. So I cut off the rest of the family and then just put me and my brother. And I went to, like, Teeny Bop magazine. Tiger Beat. Subscription to that. Yeah. Yeah. And I cut out a picture of Donnie Wahlberg from New Kids in the Black. Donnie. And I took it. And I glued it onto the picture. With what? Elmer's? No, it was like super glue or something like that. Because I wanted to make sure that it stuck. Well, it ate through the picture. The actual photograph and the picture through the magazine. So it was just like me and a yellow and pink sort of remnant of Donnie Wahlberg. Why the family picture? You know, why? Not just one of you. Because if it was one of just me, like my...
school picture or something like that. Clearly, that was in a studio and just me. She needed the body. Yeah. She needed a body. I needed a body. I needed the background. I needed it to look like I was convinced it was going to light. People were going to be like, how did you do it? I remember when you cut my head out and pasted it in that picture, girl. It was wicked awesome. It was wicked awesome, girl. Thank you, Dottie. I remember. Hey, why is Susanna hanging out? She's lurking. Weird. Intern here at the radio station. Get her in here. Come on. Come in here. She looks so... Why are you afraid to come to the microphone? What's the matter with you today? What are you guys talking about? Come up to the mic, Susanna. Oh, no, that's okay. Come on. Come on. Oh, stop it. Get up to the mic. Why are you blushing? I like blushing. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. You are blushing. Why? I just heard you guys talking about crushes. Yeah. I got totally hot and bothered. You did? Yeah, it's crazy. When you were a kid, did you have a crush on a celebrity? Oh, of course, but I'm 27 years old, and I still have a crush on a celebrity. Really? Wow. Yes. Who is it? Well, I want to ask, where's your retainer? Yeah, yeah, put the retainer in. Put the retainer in. Okay. You don't have to worry about us. It's empty self-conscious. Oh, uh-oh, she almost dropped her retainer on the table. She's nervous.
Nervous Purvis today. What's going on? Sorry. It's okay. Don't you worry about a thing. Okay, so... Sorry. What's that? Nothing. Go ahead, Susana. So, let's try another crush on. It's so sexy. He's got his jean sports. He wears jean? There's a guy she has a crush on who really likes horse. Who really likes horse? She said jean shorts. No, no, no. He wears jean shorts? No, no, no, no. No, what did he say? I like a guy who wears shorts. Sienna. Horse shorts. He wears horse shorts. He's really into sports. He's really into sports. Really into sports. Got it that time. You said he's really into sports. He's into sports. He plays music. Yeah. He's so nice. Yes. He shows? No, he's so nice. Wait a minute. Into sports, into music, and he's so nice. It's Tiger Woods. Is it Tiger Woods? That's pretty close. It's close? It's close. It's close to Tiger Woods? John Daly. No, it isn't. Now you're getting colder, Mike. Yeah, I'm getting colder. Tiger Woods. Tiger. She likes one of the pandas from the zoo. Tiger Woods. Oh, Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods. We just did Tiger Woods in my sports. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we'll just leave it at that, guys.
I can't understand. Woods is sleeping a lot. Susanna, take out your, can you take out your retainer for a second? Sure. Just for a minute. Go ahead. I was saying you were getting warmer when you were talking about Woods on sports. Oh, got it, got it. We were talking about Woods on sports, so it must have been somebody in the sports. Ben Roethlisberger, probably. Probably Ben Roethlisberger. Stay away from that guy. Yeah, I can. LT? Ah, your teeth are getting crooked. I put the retainer back in. Okay. There you go, Susanna. Yes. So, you guys have the hints. Uh-huh. Now you know what I want. I'm getting at. I think I do. I think I know. You think? Woods, what do you think? She's looking right at you. I think I know. Woods, what do you think? Woods, why'd you make the face? Like, you're freaked out. I just got spit on my glasses. You did? Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, you did it. I'm so sorry. Sometimes I'm taking a screen or something. He's cleaning his glasses off right now on his t-shirt. It's so embarrassing. It's fine. It's fine. Don't worry about it. Susanna, listen.
Oh, wow. Sorry. That's a big one. That's a big one. Wow. Sometimes when I get really nervous, I just get a lot of spit to collect. That's a challenge, Susanna. That is a challenge. This is a challenge for you. Susanna. Sorry. Don't worry about it. Hey, listen, thank you for coming. And, you know, if you want to get us some breakfast, that'd be great. Well, actually, I'm kind of busy because today I'm doing something special. Sienna. Today it's something I don't even know. Something special. Something special. Something special, I think. Woods. Thanks to me. Thanks to Hoods. Thanks to Hoods. Thanks Woods. Thanks Woods. Thanks Woods. Yeah, thanks Woods. I'm doing something special. Yeah? I'm brewing up a special brew for St. Patrick's Day for a certain someone. I have no idea. Wow. And Sienna looks confused. Something special. I think she said she's brewing up. A special brew. For St. Patrick's Day. For St. Patrick's Day. For something special. Wow, dude, I have a way with the lady. Yes, she does. And the Snickers bar. Guess who's a brewmaster? Anyways, thanks for interpreting Sam. No, yeah, for sure. What did she say? Thanks for interpreting Sam. Thank you. She's brewing a special green beer today. Perfect.
Thank you, Susanna. It's really nice. Are you going to bring it in for all of us? Will it be the official taste tester? I have no idea. She said I'm going to be the official taste tester. Mikey, why can't we ever try anything? We'll see you. Thanks, Susanna. Who would like to do the Incorporator here on a St. Patrick's Day? I think I would. Come on! I would, too. So if you want to take part in the Incorporator, call us right now. The idea is that Woods is going to call someplace out in the middle of nowhere. He is going to talk to this place. And what kind of place are we going to be calling today, Jay? Bowling Alley. Oh, dude. Love it. Calling a bowling alley. Don't forget to ask about Green Mirror. And he has to incorporate the words that you call us with. 5701949. You're just going to give us random words, or excuse me, common words and phrases.
Common words and phrases, and he's going to work them into his conversation. Incorporate them. It's next. Mikey Show on FM 94.9. So, how are they going? Oh, we mean your New Year's resolutions. You know, the stubborn 10 pounds doing volunteer work. What if making this year better relied less on sticking to resolutions and more on making good decisions? The Spring for Alexa sales event is the perfect way to start. With compelling deals on select 2010 models, What has always been a rewarding decision is now an easier one. And whether it's the RX, IS, or ES, the joys of driving it will even outlast resolutions. The Spring for a Lexus sales event. Actual Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or Kearney Mesa. Now through March 31st, available 2.9% APR financing on the IS-250 and IS-350 models for up to 60 months. And Lexus will make one month's payment for you.
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Just say, show me the Carfax. You can always go to Carfax.com. Looks like a problem here on the 163 southbound before Friars Road. An accident over on the right shoulder. Down motorcycle on the right shoulder in the Gore Point. It is going the wrong way. The rider is up, though. He is moving about. You'll definitely find a delay over there. On the 125 southbound after Navajo Road, we also have a disabled vehicle that's causing a backup. This report brought to you by Red... Redplum.com. Discover a great place to find printable coupons, coupon codes, and saving tips online. Redplum.com. You'll save on your favorites for groceries, fashion, local dining, and more. Visit Redplum.com today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for Wednesday morning. Brought to you by Guayaki or Mate. This morning we were seeing that new northwest swell fill in slowly but surely. Looking pretty fun out there with clean conditions to boot. Ways running in that waist-chest shoulder-high zone on average. Occasional head-high plus waves at the standout spots. Going into a moderately high tide, that will slow down some of the reef break areas, but that will help the beaches out a little bit as they are a bit walled up. Look for the structured zones to be better. As the day continues, the tide starts dropping down and the swell fills in more. Look for those reef breaks to really improve. Again, clean conditions right now will either calm the light offshore winds,
and pretty much looking like it's going to be a solid day for surf. So for up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com, and for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops' five locations, and ask any of those five locations about information for this Saturday's Grom Fest contest at PB Drive. They'll have all the details. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaquil Herbamate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. and the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. More of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. If you're listening on FM 94.9. If you want to call us, it's 5701949. Our text is 949mikey at gmail.com. We're going to be doing the Little Wiz Pop Quiz coming up here in just a little bit, which is awesome. This is where we send Sienna out to talk to little kids. She's like the little kid whisperer, man. She's got a way with kids. I like them. I don't know how she does it, but she got a way with kids and they love her. And so, you know, it's St. Patrick's Day today. And because it is, we figured we would do a little special St. Patrick's Day version of the Little Wiz pop quiz. Want to let people know our midday girl, Hillary, and our afternoon dude, Tommy, are out broadcasting live today.
At Hoolies in Rancho San Diego. They do that on St. Patrick's Day. It's a tradition. And they're going to be out there doing it today. It's pretty awesome. Go out there and see them. Be listening to it on the air. It's going to be very, very cool. And let's see. Are you ready to do this, Woodsy? You know I'm ready, dude. Born ready. You will need to leave the studio, please. Cannot have you in the studio. I love this. Woodsy is about to incorporate some words on the air. Oh, here he comes. Watch out, boys. He'll chew you up. Here he comes. Thin Corp. Watch out, boys. He'll chew you up. He comes. Woodsy's dad is on the line. We're going to be hearing from his dad. His dad is calling in, listening on the internet from Texas. He's calling in with a word. Mr. Woods. We have a text of a word from M1 Hoover. And that word...
Eric, it's a phrase. It's actually a common phrase. It's fish out of water. Marco Polo. That's right. Do you guys have one? Do you guys want to throw one in? Zanna, I like yours. Lovely day for a Guinness. It's not a common phrase. I need common phrase. What about top of the morning on this particular day? Too easy, right? Yeah, we teased it. Too easy. I'm going to put one. Okay. Shelf life. Shelf life. Yeah, shelf life. What about a wolf in sheep's clothing? I love that. A wolf in sheep's clothing. Try not to move my lips. Okay, I got one. I got one. What? Garibaldi. I don't know what that is. It's a fish. I had no idea. No! I had no idea. I thought it was a common fish. Jay, do you have any fish? I like Imwin Adam. Imwin Adam's got ball and chain. All right? You guys hear that? Feel that floor shaking? Woods goes in the hall and he jumps to pump himself up and we all shake. And he jumps. Yeah, he gets himself all pumped up by jumping up and down. We can feel it.
M1 Rose. Good morning, guys. How are you? Good. How are you? I'm good, thank you. What's your phrase or word? Googly eyes. Googly eyes? Yes. I like that. Got it. Okay. See you guys. Have a good day. That's going to be the first one. Thanks a lot. M1 Heather. Hi, Mikey. Hi. How are you? Good. What do you got? I got one. I've fallen and I can't get up. Perfect. I love it. I love it. Is that Steve Urkel? It's the old lady. It's the old lady and the little life arrest thing around her neck. Yep. Yeah. Or Steve Urkel. M1 Jeff. What's happening, man? Not too much. What's your word or phrase? How about Rumpelstiltskin? Brilliant. Love it. Brilliant. Got it. Rum? What's rum? M1 dog bait. Okay, let me try this one on you. Shillelagh. Shillelagh? Yep. You got it. You got it. Let's see. I don't even know what it is, but I've heard it. It has something to do with St. Patrick's Day. It does. An instrument? Yeah, I think so. Shillelagh. M1 Joe? Yeah, crackers. Got it. And this is Steve Wood's dad. This is Woodsy's dad. Hello. Mr. Woods? Hello. How are you? I'm doing well. How are you all? I'm good.
Happy St. Paddy's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Are you wearing your green? Oh, absolutely. I've got my Irish stuff all over me. Very nice. Very nice. I can tell you right now that your son has talked to me about this very phrase that you have. And he has told me before that it drives him crazy that you try to get this one through. But I'm going to allow it because you're Mr. Woods. What am I going to do? And can I tell you, Mr. Woods, that your son? Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He's doing the same thing. He is. He does the golf swing. After you guys play on whatever, is it Tuesdays that you play? Yeah. He comes in and is like, I'm getting ready, getting ready, getting ready for the game today. Yeah, because Woods has talked about how it would drive him nuts that his dad would do that in public. He would practice his golf swing in public. Well, Woods, he does it too. And a baseball swing. He does that too. As much grief as I've gotten over the years, I know he'd panic to get this word. So what is this phrase? Fake golf swing. You got it. He's going to kill me for letting that through, but you got it. Okay. Thank you, Mr. Woods. Have a great day. Thank you. You too. M1 Hoover texted in fish out of water. We also have a wolf in sheep's clothing and ball and chain if we get to it. Okay. So here are the words. Googly eyes. I've fallen and I can't get up.
Rumpelstiltskin, shillelagh, crackers, fake golf swing, fish out of water, a wolf in sheep's clothing, and ball and chain. What is he going to do with Rumpelstiltskin? I know. I bet you he's going to be mad about that one. Whatever. He's mad about one of them. He's always mad. Kid doesn't like cartoons. Come on in. Kid doesn't like cartoons. We're calling a bowling alley? Everybody's smiling about in here. You'll see. Will I? Yeah, you will. Will I? You'll hear. You'll hear. First word? Just hang on there, pal. Let's get the phone right in. I'll give you the first one. Okay. That's the new bit. First word, always. Googly-eyed. Or googly-eyes. Googly-eyes. Googly-eyes. Go ahead. Go ahead, Jay. Mic's off. Yeah, you guys can turn your mic's off. The person that we're calling cannot hear me. They can only hear Woods. Bowling Alley? Googly. Yeah, we're calling the Bowling Alley. Googly-eyes is your first one. They can't hear me. They can only hear Woods. I would give them some words. Good morning, Red Jelly Cat Bowl. Top of the morning, man. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Yeah, you too. Hey, my name's Steve Woods. I started celebrating St. Patty's a little early. I'm a little googly-eyed this morning, but I had a few questions for you if you got a minute. You bet.
Well, actually, I've fallen and I can't get up. Like I said, I had a really, really rough night last night. If I do make it up and around today, are you guys – what time do you guys open? Rumpelstiltskin. We're opening up at noon today. Okay. Yeah, I went to an early St. Paddy's Day party. We had all kinds of shots, Goldschlager, Rumpelstiltskin shots. I mean, just really tied one on, man. It was – Nuts, but I need some exercise, so I thought I may bring the fam in for a little bowling today. Shillelagh. We got vessels today, too, for St. Paddy, so you can continue having fun when you get out here. Oh, you guys do have a beer special? Yeah, we do. Green beer today. Two for one on the pitchers. Do you guys have any soda crackers and stuff to go with it? Oh, there's some peanut and Chex Mix stuff that we put out on the bar, yeah. That's cool. Do you guys have a shillelagh player by chance? It's like, I think it's like the Irish harp, I think they play. No, no, it just got a jukebox. Oh, a jukebox. Okay, you guys, do you have any shillelagh music on there? Like old Irish folk songs? You know, I think we got U2. Well, they are Irish, that's for sure. Okay. Well, you know, man, I think it's a good, fun day. I'll bring the family in later. And what time again do you open?
Noon today. Noon today. Well, bowling sure beats the hell out of working on my fake golf swing all day, that's for sure. Fish out of water. Okay. And what do you guys charge? For what, the beer or the... Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know if I'll be having any beers after the night I had last night. What do you charge to bowl? Well, today if you're bowling... Fish out of water. At the noon, starting it off, we're cheaper here in the afternoon. It's $2.99 a game. Oh, that's good, man, because, you know, like I said, I play golf, and I'm kind of a fish out of water at a bowling alley, to be honest. They haven't been in a few years, so I'd love to... It's a lot easier than golf, and you don't have to worry about little bowling. Golf and cheap slothing. Last one. Okay. Well, tell me about it, man. Okay. So $2.99 per game in the afternoon. You've got beer going. You've got a jukebox. I'm going to round my family up today. And you know what, dude? You'll see me. I'm a nice guy, but I'm kind of the wolf in sheep's clothing because I'm a little hungover today. So I'm just going to warn you right now. Okay. All right, my brother. We'll see you later this afternoon. Happy St. Paddy's Day. Okay. Same to you. All right, buddy. Nice.
Fake golf swing. No, that one was fine. A shillelagh. What in hell is a shillelagh? You've heard of it before. Can I go on the record? What? And one dog bait, he said shillelagh, and I phone screened him, and I said, I don't know what that is, so I'm going to say no. Yeah. And he came up with a different phrase, which was corned beef. I don't know what a shillelagh is. Once he looked at me when I said shillelagh. I actually said pass. Yeah, he looked at me with this look. Like, he put his hands on it. And I'm like, I don't know what a shillelagh is. And one dog bait. Perfect, guys. I tried to tell you. You're not going to stump me. You're not going to stump me. You still got it. You're not going to stump me. Ever. How'd you like your dad's fake golf swing? Piece of cake. Did you know it was your dad? As soon as I heard it, I knew it was my dad. Yeah. He's been calling. He's wanted that one for a while. And, you know, I told Mr. Woods, I said, listen, Mr. Woods, you're Mr. Woods. What am I going to do? Of course I'm going to let it through. Sir. Of course I have to let it through. That was fantastic. I love the incorporator. I could do it all day long. You know, funnily enough, I could too. Okay. Okay. I got a definition of a shillelagh and it's not an instrument. What is it? It is a short walking stick with a thickened T shape at the top.
Oh, I've seen those before. What? My shillelagh. My grandpa would have one of those. Everyone dog bait? Yeah. Clown. Thank you. Dude, you're dumb. You said, do you have any shillelagh music? Yeah. Sienna writes me down that it's a musical instrument. I'm like, oh, okay. It's that Irish harp. Right. That dude had no idea. That was genius. So he goes, we've got you too. That's awesome. Oh, back to back, baby. Let's do some of this. Nothing about that rhymes. Not sure what that means. Did JT record that for you? Yes, he did. Sienna. Yo. You went out, talked to some little kids. I did. About some, what, some leprechauns or something? St. Patrick's Day, of course. Of course. And like I said, Sienna, she has a gift, okay? She knows how to talk to the little kid. She's a little kid whisperer. Okay, I'm going to go around and I'm going to ask your names, okay? So tell me your names and how old you are. Andrew, six and a half. Anthony, six. And what about you? Vito, six and a half. Michael, seven. And what about you? What's your name? John Paul Ford. John Paul Ford. Oh, wow.
Okay, do you guys know that it's going to be St. Patrick's Day? Do you know why we celebrate St. Patrick's Day? St. Patrick is a special person. I'm part leprechaun. You're part leprechaun. How do you know? I have big ears. Oh, well. You don't have big ears. I have tiny ears. You have tiny ears? That's a real leprechaun. No, what do leprechauns eat anyway? Lucky Charms. Lucky Charms like a cereal? Apple Charms cereal. An Applejack cereal to the apple and the stick. You like Applejacks, don't you? Oh, my God. Yeah. What did St. Patrick do? Do you know? He was a mystician. Oh, mystician. An esthetician. Yeah, that's an esthetician. You do? Have you ever seen one? I saw their poop and their pee. What? I saw them and I saw their green footprints and I saw their mess. Their mess? Oh, man. Are you in mobile? People say that there's something at the end of a rainbow. Do you know what it is? A pot of gold. A pot of gold. At my house, that's mine. Wow, you're lucky, man. Can I have it?
No. What color are you supposed to wear on St. Patrick's Day? Green. Now, if you don't wear green, what's going to happen? You get a wedgie by a leprechaun. Thank you. That's the right answer. I pinch my grandma and my mom's neck. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Okay, guys, can you just say really quick, happy St. Patrick's Day. Oh, wow. Ouch. Oh, wow. There's 18 German shepherds that just understood that. Whenever you tell them to yell something, there's always the one kid that has to go. I know. The squealer kid. Oh, my gosh. It was cute. That's awesome, dude. I don't know what it is. I love him. There's something about little kids. Sometimes I text my mom and I text my grandma. I text my mom and my grandma. I love that kids work in quarters with their ages. They do. Six and a quarter. Seven and three quarters. What age do we stop? When you become a teenager, you stop that, right? Before that. You stopped at 12?
I think like after eight. Yeah. Lauren stopped at four. Yeah. Yeah. I was very mature. It's progressive. It's progressive. I don't know why, but for some reason I'm really curious about the performance lineup at the San Diego Fair, even though I'm not going to go. You know why you're curious? Why? Because you're going with me and we're going to feast. Yeah, we're going to eat. But I'm not going to see any of the artists that are going to play. We're going to see 38 Special, maybe? Yeah. Okay. ZZ Top. Maybe ZZ Top. Yeah. Okay. There's a stage there called the O'Brien Stage. Maybe Asia? That is true. The O'Brien Stage. Maybe Asia's there. Asia should be good. Toto? Yeah. I will enjoy them. I won't mind seeing a Joan Jett and the Blackhearts cover band. Cover band? Joan Jett won't actually be there. Just the Blackhearts. Yeah, the Blackhearts are playing. What do we got, Sienna? Oh, we're ready for this now. Oh, we're ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do it. I'm so excited for the fair. Dude, I love it. I've never seen an artist at the fair. We're going to do the whole experience this year.
The eating. The rides. The midway. I'm in. The whole thing. I'm in. I say we go as a show. As a show. First of all, let me just tell you that tickets for all of the shows go on sale March 27th at the Delmar Fairgrounds and online. You can go to Ticketmaster. And they're going to be available from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday to get tickets. Who's playing? I'm going to tell you. At the Heineken Grandstand Stage, June 15th, Jeremy Camp. Okay, that's a Christian artist. I'm the only person in the world that knows journalism. That's a free show. There's a lot of free shows, meaning you get in with general admission to the fair. June 16th, Dennis D. Young and the music of Styx. Dude, yes! Wait a second. Wait a second. That's a free show with admission ticket and then you get a dinner package, which is for sale. Dennis DeYoung was the lead singer of Styx, but they can't stand him. Styx, you know, they broke up, right? So he's still doing the shtick, but he's doing it with a band that nobody knows. It's like, you know, the Mikey show. And just so you know, Woods is going to do the Mr. Roboto voice. I love it.
Just so you know, if you're driving in your car right now and you can't, I'm going to put this on my blog later so you can go and see all of this stuff. Yeah. June 18th, Casey and the Sunshine Band. Week. Wow. That's a free show. Really? Yeah. They're not charging $18 to see Casey and the Sunshine Band? No, no, no. June 23rd, Kenny Loggins. Loggins? Yes. Yes. Now I gotta cut loose. Yes. My favorite movie. Dude. So I'm in. I would actually go see Kenny Loggins. Mike, I'll go see Kenny Loggins with you. It's a free show. You'd see all of these. So far, all of these are free shows. Love it. I love it. June 24th, Switchfoot. Really? I'm in. June 25th, Julio Iglesias. Okay, I'm Mexican. Julio Iglesias. Yeah, I'll go. In fact, I'll take my dad with me. I have to go. I think it's kind of long. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you. Thank you. Oh, wow. June 26th, the Gospel Festival featuring Marvin Sapp and Jay Moss. Pass. June 29th, Uncle Cracker. Really? Pass. Wait a minute. Why are you wearing your Uncle Cracker t-shirt right now? Damn well I'm not. Follow me. June 30th, Lone Star. Oh, country artist. June 2nd, this is the first free show, a paid show we've come across is One Republic. Good one. I thought it was too late to call the judge. Maybe. July 3rd, Jeff Dunham.
He's a comedian. He does, I was going to say mannequins. He does like puppets, right? I don't know. It doesn't say on here. It just says it's a paid show. No, he uses dummies. He uses dummies? Yeah, he uses dummies. They sit on his lap. Thanks, Hoyle. You ever had him on the air? Jeb Denham? Yeah. I actually discovered him. Oh, you did? In Mobile. Mobile, Alabama. Yeah. I saw him at a comedy shop called I Got Gassed. You got gas? You got gas? Yeah, it was originally called Farts, but it was Mobile, so they had to change the name. They changed it up. Oh, okay. Did you teach him how to oil his craft? I taught him how to oil right in on it. Amazing. I did. Amazing. Let me tell you something. That guy was good. He's still good. Well, you'll see him at the state fair. He works a little bit different. They call it the state fair? What do they call it here? No, they call it the San Diego Fair. Okay, we call it the state fair. All right, well. Back where I came from. It's different. If you want, I can introduce him to you. That'd be great, man. We're good friends still. That'd be great. I'm sure Garrett won't mind having him in. Oh, I'm sure not. Y'all know, have y'all met Garrett? Yeah, we know Garrett. We actually met Garrett before you did. That's not true. I met his boss. Well, you may be his boss, but we met him before. He was one of my hires. Oh, really? That's right. We never saw you for six weeks. Hasn't Garrett been here for like seven years? Yeah.
Longer than that, I think, even. Yeah, he's been here since the inception of the station. Well, you know what, Dan? Maybe y'all are just so smart, aren't you, Dan? We're just right. We're just right. What? Get. That was good. That was better. That. You got it. No, that doesn't fit there. You got it. The last show at the 4th of July on the Henneken Grandstand stage is Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. Wow. Wow. No way. You knew it. I didn't. You knew it. I promise. I promise. I didn't. And just so you know, the fair is opening June 11th. It ends July 5th. Usually it ends on the 4th of July, I think. So it's going to be open June 11th, and it's going to be here before we know it. How bad? I was just going to say, dude, how bad must you be if Joan Jett's the headliner? I know it. I like Switchfoot, though. Oh, yeah. They should be headlining. For all of those free shows, also, it just...
For the free shows, if you're wondering, well, how do you get in, the general tickets just to go to the fair are $13 for adults, $7 for kids. Sweet. We're doing the whole thing, pal. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Honda has recalled 410,000 vehicles. Is yours one of them? I'll tell you which ones they are. And I have six signs that you're probably in a healthy relationship. I'll turn it on. Hold on. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar.
So many good shows coming to town, so little time. All right, Bad Religion. They'll kick off a three-night stand at the House of Blues this Friday night. All three shows are all ages. Devendra Benhart plays Belly Up March 25th, and Air plays 4th and Beat March 27th. A few good shows in May just announced. Tuesday, May 4th, The Hold Steady will play an FM 94.9 about the music show at the Belly Up. May 6th, you can see drive-by truckers at House of Blues. Ben Folds will play there May 11th. And OK Go and the Shout Out Louds hit House of Blues May 22nd. Sunday, June 6th, Mumford & Sons are playing an FM 94.9 about the music show at the Belly Up. And Kings of Liana bringing their show to Cricket Wireless Friday, July 9th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some show sense. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. Now you can get exceptional offers on new and certified pre-owned BMWs during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas. Lisa 2010 BMW 128i Coupe.
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which ALG picked for having the highest resale value in its class. And if you think about it, high resale value means high quality, the kind that lasts a long time, even though these really special lease deals definitely won't. The point is, this really big thing sales event is a great time to lease an Accord or a Civic, Insight, Fit, CR-V, Pilot Odyssey, or Ridgeline for that matter. Just go see your Honda dealer today. 2010 Accord, winner of the ALG Residual Value Award midsize car segment. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. Wow, what a great morning in terms of traffic in the sense that there's no incidents. This report brought to you by Wawanese Insurance. Wawanese Insurance, better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto, home, or your condo. Call 877-WA-WANESA. Go to wawaneseus.com. Rate shopping, it can pay off. On that 805 northbound between Balboa Avenue, Governor Drive pretty much stop and go in the teens right now. And the 805 northbound between 8th Street and Home Avenue, we've got some slop and go.
Yeah, they're just slopping it up out there. Anyway, it's stop and go. I haven't even started drinking yet. Look at the way I sound. This report brought to you by redplum.com. Discover a great place to find printable coupons, coupon codes, and saving tips online. Redplum.com. You'll save on your favorites for groceries, fashion, local dining, and more. Visit redplum.com today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This. is FM 94.9. Most famous Irish band of all time, Journey. Straight out of Dublin. That's right. Welcome back. Such a good tune. I love it. Last song in the Sopranos, man. It's the last song that they ever played. What did you think of that finale, Woods? I loved it. Yep. Woods is a big Sopranos fan. I thought no one liked it. I loved it. Leaves things to the imagination. There's not a pretty little bow on it. That's right. 400,000. Over 400,000. 410 to be exact, right? Yep. Hondas have been recalled, Sienna? Oh, yes. 344,000 Odyssey minivans and 68,000 Elements, which are the small trucks. They have been recalled because of brake system problems. Whoa. Yeah, it's going to make it real tough to stop if the vehicle is not repaired. Wow. So if you have one of those cars, bring it in. Check it out.
They said the brake pedals can feel soft and must be pressed closer to the floor to stop the vehicle. If they're unrepaired, the problem is going to cause a loss of braking power altogether. Mike, better get your minivan in ASAP. But I still want to never get it in there. I got to get it in there. Well, if you drive one of those, you better check it out now. Three crashes have been reported and no deaths, but there have been some minor injuries. What's up with all the recall stuff, man? This is crazy. Six signs that you're probably in a healthy relationship. No, they're the basic signs. You're fat. If you're a man, you're fat. If you're a guy, you've gained 54 pounds. Yeah, I guarantee it's number one. No, it's like the normal things, like loyalty, stuff like that. I don't understand. What does it mean? Okay, if you have loyalty in your relationship, meaning... That you don't cheat? No. If you can find someone that will stand by you even during the worst moments. This isn't like if you're married, it's if you're dating. Oh. Well, I married her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I thought it was. I mean, for you guys, you're going to say, well, yeah, I married her. I'm instantly thinking like, you know, my wife, I'm like, well, duh. No, if you're dating someone, maybe if, you know, you're in the first few months or something and she's not, you know, standing by, maybe you're going through a rough time and she's like, ugh, just not supportive. No, you need the loyalty. You need respect. You know, it never feels good to be taken for granted. Unconditionally there. Yeah. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Dogs sound like things that a dog could do. Yeah, it does. Loyalty. Scratch your back. Respect. Respect. Trustworthy, too. And this is a lot of girls that they do. They'll run their mouth at work about the guy and something he did. Other guys hear that and they're like, ugh. So make sure the things that your guy wants private. Keep them private. Guys, same goes to you. Guys are bad about that. Kissing and telling. A genuine sounding board. Letting go of the me, me, me. Take a second and listen to what they're having to say. Even if you could care less, just let them vent for a little bit. Guys and girls. Girls are much better at that, though. Listening. The whole listening thing. Ladies like to say, you know, talk about stuff. We do. We do. Talk about it. And talk. And keep talking. Talk about it. And talk. I told you about this part. Did I tell you about this?
I like to talk about it. Well, a lot of the times we have to keep saying it because you guys aren't listening to begin with and we have to repeat ourselves. What did you say? Exactly. Exactly. And the last one on there is dependability. You know, if you say you're going to be somewhere, you better be there. Because you know when you first start dating someone and it's like, oh, do you want to come to my work Christmas party? And they're like, yeah, of course. And then something comes up and they don't come. And it's like, you're so bummed. Yeah. Be there. Those are six signs that you're in a healthy relationship. They sound like the typical stuff. I think that sounds pretty reasonable. M1, Julia. Hey, guys. How are you? Hi, Julia. Good. How are you? Good. What's going on? Well, I was calling you today because I thought you guys could maybe help me out. My dad is totally a huge M1. He's just a huge one. So I thought maybe you could help me. break some news to him um he's away on a business trip and i drove his car to school and he has this new bmw that he's never let anyone drive before and i drove it all around school are you there at school now are you did you did this you're at school now or you did this and you're telling us about no i did this this happened yesterday what it was why are you calling what happened well i mean
I parked it, and when I went out to the car at the end of the day, you know, I saw there was a huge dent in the driver's side. Oh, dude. It had a major dent. And, I mean, automatically I just started bawling. And I thought that maybe I could just park it at my house, and it's possible that it could happen there. And I just, I don't know what to do. I have a lot of questions. Yeah, me too. I have a lot of questions. Okay. Where was the car parked when he left it? I was just in the school's parking lot. No, no, no. When your dad left, where was his... It was in the driveway. Okay. Yeah. It's not very plausible that it was parked in the driveway and all of a sudden a dent turned up on it. Like, your dad's not going to buy that. Maybe it was a leprechaun. Yeah, unless it was a leprechaun. Shillelagh. Yeah. Unless somebody... Yeah, a leprechaun came along with their shillelagh. Whatever the hell that is. And hit it on mistake. No, it couldn't. No, it could not be that. I thought that maybe, like, you know, people sometimes use our driveway to, like, turn around, and maybe I could just tell them that, that it got, you know, maybe it got hit by, like, somebody, like, pulling in to, like, turn around or something. He won't buy that. Nope, he ain't gonna buy it. Is it small enough that you could say that the neighbors were playing baseball and a baseball hit the door? Wait a minute. Now we're talking about her lying to her dad. It's not. Definitely not. Do you have a car?
I do. And he just said, do not, like one of his rules before he left was do not drive my car. Well, it's just understood. It's like nobody. I don't have to say that. You have your own car. Yeah. That's why we got you your car. Yeah. Yes. But you didn't do anything wrong. Like you didn't crash it. But she still took the car out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Effectively, she did. No, I know. But I'm just trying to see if she were to just be like, Dad, I took the car. My car was having some brake problems. There's all the cars. Shady. Yeah, thank you. Maybe she has a Prius. I can't see to her. Is that Balloon Boy sitting next to me? Maybe she has a Honda and she just found out 410,000 are being recalled. Is that it? So maybe she was like, well, the BMWs aren't being recalled. Dad, for my own safety. Hey, Julia, why don't you say, hey, Dad. I did something stupid. I took your car out at school and somebody knocked it and now it's got a dent in it. She wants us to tell him. Yeah, she wants us to tell him. I don't know if Brady's going to kill me. I'll tell him. I will ask him. Give me his number right now. I'll put you on hold. We'll do it right now. When does he come back? How much time do you have? He comes back tonight. Oh, not much time. I'm not calling him tonight. It's late tonight, so I don't think he's going to go out and check his car or anything. He will. Huh? He will. He'll go check his car.
He's going to see it when you get home, you'll see it. No, if it's late at night, he's just going to go in. No, he'll see it. Let's call him in the morning. Oh, boy. Yes. You guys tell him in the morning? No, no, no. You're not nervous about us telling him? No, no, no. I'm freaking out, but it's better that you tell him, like, on the air. He loves the Mikey show. He does. He's a huge fan. He'll be so excited that you guys are calling him that I thought that maybe, I don't know, I'd take some of the pressure off me. Stopping the blow. What if we could tell him he can come in on Friday, backstage pass? Yeah. You guys can do that. We do it that way because he's already going to know. He'll know tomorrow. He might know tonight. I don't know. I would have the guts to do it right now, this very second, but I don't know if I would be able to do it. I'll do it. You will? Yeah. We can totally do it. Hang on. Let me get your number. Jay, get her number. Hang on. Get her number. I get it. Oh, my gosh. No, wait until he gets back.
Oh, I'm going to be freaked out if I do that. By tomorrow, I'm going to be all freaked out. You're going to ruin his trip. Oh, my God. She needs to tell him the truth. Yeah, what do you tell him, Julia? Yeah, you just tell him the truth. You know what? He's got insurance. People are calling in. Well, it's like Ferris Bueller, the guy, what's his name? Yeah, Cameron. Yeah. That was the worst. It's like risky business. You take your dad's Porsche out. I mean. We've all done it. I used to take my dad's escort out all the time. Thank God I didn't bang it up. I never took my parents' car. I did not either. It's a very, very bad lesson to learn. M1 what tooth? M1, hello? M1, are you there? Yeah. M1 what tooth? Ick tooth. Ick tooth? Yeah, it's what's the little Christian fish you see all over the place. Oh, I didn't know that's what those were called. Yeah, that's the original Greek name when... Yeah, when they were invented way back in the day. Sweet. What were you calling to say? I was just calling to say the girl needs to be honest with her father about it. Any sort of lying or any sort of anybody else telling her is going to break any sort of a truth bond. You guys ever hear it all comes out in the wash? Like, it's going to come out. Like, if she doesn't say it, it's going to come. Like, if he finds out that she lied more. Yeah. I agree with you guys, and I think that she should.
Tell the truth. But I do think that sometimes you can get away with it when you have a really good excuse. What is a good excuse, though? I'm not going to condone any form of lying. I think she should tell the truth. Well, she has until tonight to think of it. Maybe get into an auto body shop ASAP. Yeah. No. How much would that cost to pop out the door? What if they make it worse? It's a BMW. A lot. Or scratch it while they're getting the... Hey, Jay. Jay, is she... If she's still in the line, ask her what color it is. Too late. I can call her back. I bet she's in high school. She doesn't have the kind of coin to get a BMW fixed anyway. Oh, my. Maybe she has a job. I had a job in high school. What, do you think she's going to get it fixed overnight? No way. No way. You just tell them. I say she calls them and tells them. I can see that look on Jay's face though. Jay's like, do it already. Wait until he gets back to tell him. Oh, for sure. Don't ruin his trip. Tell him in person. And then have him freaking out the whole time until he gets back. Yeah, exactly. What would you do, Woodsy? Oh, dude. Now I would tell the truth. Then I would have tried to cover it up.
Dumbest thing you can do. Absolutely. And I would have gotten caught and I would have looked like an idiot. As a dad, I can tell you that if my kid comes clean, it's going to be way easier. Way easier. That's what kids don't understand, though. Yeah. If you sit them down and say, hey, I screwed up. I'm sorry. Punish me. Whatever you got to do, I'll do. But we don't have that mentality in us when we're younger. We're like, I got to cover it up. I got to cover it up. A similar situation just happened to my sister in high school. Really? Yeah. What'd she do? She, oh man, I can't believe she did this. She's really a smart girl. Yeah. And she's 16 and she has a car and she let my younger sister's friend, who's a sophomore since he had his permit, let him take his car to the house, which is like, you know, half a mile away. Take her car. Take her car. He's 15. She's 16. He has a permit. My sister has a license. And when he went, he had to parallel park and he bumped into a car behind that he was, you know, behind him. Uh-huh.
And the guy came running out because his alarm went off and he saw my sister's boyfriend and was like, oh, my gosh, my car. And they were going to they took it to the shop to try to just get it fixed and not tell my parents. And it turned out to be funny. And so they had to tell my parents. They were very stupid and let him do. You have a car to begin with. I'm 39 years old. I come from the school of, you know, my dad was in the military. I come from the school of first of all, in school, when I was a kid, they used to. Paddle you. Yeah, mine too. With a big piece of wood that had holes drilled in it. And you know what the holes were for? To air. Get better drag. Better drag. Into your butt. Yep. I just get paddled too. No way. Are you serious? I went to a Baptist school. I got paddled. There had to be holes in it because then it could pick up more air as it, you know. Tape on the handle, the whole bit. Right. Right. Now, I think back on that and I'm like, you know, that's discipline. Yeah. If you had to go get licks. Yeah. It's the worst thing ever. You know who doesn't get licks? People that aren't doing bad stuff. I would have gotten licked. I got licked a lot. It means you were doing bad stuff. You're a kid. You're a bad seed. Well, not all kids are getting swatted. I got licks. Not always was I being bad. One time a guy fought me and I just defended myself, but I still got pops. Really? I got a paddle broken on me. Dude. That's wrong.
Yeah. That's wrong. I used to get detentions for not having my book covered. Would that warrant a leg? Oh, yeah. I set the record for detentions in eighth grade. The record. At my school, you only got swatted if you had a certain amount of detention. You know, if you got like five detentions, that was a swat. Oh, I got more than five detentions. Oh, yeah. Bet you wouldn't have if you had a swat at the end of a five. Yeah, I guess not. You thought twice about it. But it wasn't. My mom had five kids, and sometimes she didn't always have time to cover my book. Your mom and dad? I didn't know how. Cover your bone book. I didn't know how. Knit it with hemp like you do now. It would always slip off and get all, like, soggy. Cover it with a corn husk. Yeah. Did your mom and dad spank you or hit you with a belt? Not with a belt, no. With your belt. I didn't get any swats at home. You didn't get the belt? My mom would try to get me with a rolled-up magazine. I'd just laugh. My dad would say, I had to go pick it. The switch? Yeah. Or the belt? The belt. Go get a belt. I got the hairbrush. You got a lot of kids got the hairbrush. The spoon, the wooden spoon. It'll get you. Yep. My dad used to intimidate us with a belt and do that. But he wasn't actually going to use it. He didn't. Wow. That was a sound effect. And I was such a brat, though. And my mom would go get that hairbrush. Woodsie just took his belt off right now. Dude, let me tell you. Oh. Let me tell you. When Woodsie.
When Woodsy was taking his belt off right now, man, that is memories, man. Hey, listen. Discipline is good. I suck. I can't snap the belt. She's soggy. Let's see. M1 Ashley, are you there? Yes, I am. Go ahead. I'm just thinking that if her dad is such a huge fan of the show, wouldn't he be listening right now? He's out of town. He's out of town. Well, but you can listen online. And I mean, I miss like half the Mikey show in class, and I listen to the podcast. What if he's listening online right now? Call us. She needs to tell him. Yeah, maybe that was her whole plan. Hey, if he's listening. He'll just hear it on the Mikey show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're listening online, Mr. Man. Mr. Beamer. Go easy on her. He'd hear her planning to lie about it.
570-1949. Yeah, 570-1949, Dad. How are you doing, by the way? That's the worst part. That's weird. That got really creepy. Yeah, that would be bad. That was real weird, but she didn't even notice it. Stop, this is creeping me out. Woodsy was just hitting on you, Ashley. That got weird. He just said... Not that weird. How are you doing? Everything good? Okay. All right, Woods. That's strange. It's really strange. Thank you, Ashley. All right, bye. Just got really giggly in here. Sounds like a little angel. Oh, my gosh. You're such a creep. She also sounds like she goes to the same high school as the girl called. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods. Woods on spots. Woods on creep. Let's see. M1 Kyle. I think she should tell him because that will give him time to absorb it away from her, and he'll be more calm when he comes home. Or time to steal. He'll process it. Be able to process it better. You know what? I don't have a problem with that because she's telling him the truth. My own father would boil and he would erupt.
By the time he got home. What's going to happen is if she calls and tells him, he's going to immediately want to know how bad the damage is. Yeah, he'll assume it's the worst. If she waits until he gets here, he can immediately go outside and look for himself and see if it's not that bad. And he'll get to see the tears in her eyes. And dad's melt when the daughter's crying. I agree 100%. BMW is the daughter. No, they do when the daughter's crying. I'm so sorry, dad. Not with me. Tears don't work. Tears only make it worse. Oh. Tears work for my God. Yeah, it's like you're not responsible enough. Lauren? If Rebecca called you right now and said, hon, I put a little dent in the car, would your mind assume golf-size ball dent or like... Monster truck. Yes. He would think monster truck. I am a processor. Really? And so my mind would not assume anything. Anything? No, because I'm a processor. So I would need... Information. A ton of data. Okay. So even after she told me, I would still need to keep asking questions until my brain... Yeah, you want to... What if she left a quick message and said, Hey, babe. Don't do it on a message. I was... I have to tell you this now because I'm trying to be honest. I was in the parking lot with your Bimmer girl and...
Somebody came up and dented it. It wasn't me. I don't know who it was. They left. And just give me a call back. That would upset me. If somebody told me something bad on a voicemail. Yeah, me too. You'd panic and you'd call and watch them not answer. How about a text? Yeah, it's like telling somebody you love them in a text. Picture message. Picture message. Oh. Just a picture of him. Remember this? Oh, my gosh. Well, let me tell you. That dad, if she called him and told him right now, that's the first thing I'd say. Take a picture. Take a picture of it. Send me a picture. Still, it can look worse in a picture. She's going to say golf ball regardless of the size of the dent. Dad, it's like the size of a golf ball. Just take it really, really close up and then you can't tell. We should tell the dude. I think we should tell the dude. No? Why? I don't. I'll do it. Because that freaks me out. You know I love tense audio. I love tense audio. I hate it. I hate it so much that I love it. I want it.
I'll tell the guy. No. Let the kid tell the guy. It has to be Mikey. Listen, pal. I'll do it. No, she'll tell him tonight. We'll do it. Listen, pal. She'll tell him tonight. It creeps me out. It creeps me out. Yeah. What am I going to say to the dude? Hey, it's Mikey. I'll facilitate. He can't yell when he's a fan. Yeah. Tell him that you're a huge Mr. Man fan. Mr. Man fan. Like, hey, dude. I'm a big fan of yours. Bimmer girl. You're a great M1. Bimmer girl. Yeah. Let's see. M1 Rain. Yes. What do you think that she should do? I think she should tell her dad and just fess up, you know? I mean, she could say, look, I'm really scared to tell you this. I made a huge mistake and I'm so sorry. And she should just tell him because if she's honest with him and courageous enough to be honest. He might respect her a little bit more. I would. And up front say, I'll pay for it. For me, it was an opportunity with my daughter in the car just now to let her know that honesty is always the best way. Absolutely. She's honest with me about it, that I'm going to respect her a little bit more. What a girl. You know? And she understood that. That's cool. And I really want her to be honest with me, even if it's something that's really hard to say. Yeah, for sure. I agree.
Life Lessons with Michael Shannon. Thank you. Mike Tyson. He has a new job, and it's probably one of the weirdest jobs I've ever heard of in my entire life. It's one of the strangest things I've ever heard of in my entire life. You're probably not even going to believe it. You won't even believe it. I'll tell you what Mike Tyson's new job is when we come back. the mikey show on fm 94.9 check engine so many things can go wrong with your car engine so many things can go wrong with your car that's why pep boys invented one place that can make them all right right now it's
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And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick fries. Woods. I don't know what my point is on that. I just felt like saying it. Okay? Lauren. I washed my hands like a thousand times. I do too. I love salami. And Jay. I was the guy most voted most likely to snap on FM 94.9. Went on the shillelagh. Yeah, apparently. Just going to town. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Don't forget that Hillary and Tommy are going to be out at Hoolies today. And they're doing their broadcast. They do a broadcast there on St. Patrick's Day. It's tradition here at FM 94.9. So I don't get to see Hillary today is what you're telling me. Let's go to Hoolies. I am telling you that. Start crying. And I just got uncomfortable. So, you know, what else? How can you not want to move to this music? Well, yeah. Well, I guess it's just me. Yeah, he's Mikey. I guess that's how you do it.
Not much of an Irish folk dancer. I would love to see you do a jig. Would you? You're not Irish, nor do you folk dance. No. Those are two things I don't do. Do you salsa? Yes, would. Yes? Do you do the bombo? Of course I do. Then what about the Macarena? Yeah, I'm Mexican. The Mexicanness is what defines you. That's right. Do you know the Macarena? 100% enough. It's kind of like the hand drive. Mike Tyson, ladies and gentlemen. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable. And I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Has a new job. And it might surprise you what his job is. Babysitter. No, it is not babysitter. Congressman. No, it's not congressman. What is it? This is probably my favorite story I've ever told. Yeah? What do you think Mike Tyson and the animal planet have in common? They... They both exist. But other than that, really nothing at all. Mike Tyson's now going to be having his own show on the Animal Planet. Come on. On the Animal Planet. Do you know that Mr. Tyson has a love for birds? I did. Really? Yeah, pigeons. Pigeons. Pigeons. He has more than 1,700 pigeons that live in New Jersey and Brooklyn lofts that he purchased for all of his birds. Shocking. Wow. He said that the birds.
His love for birds as a young child got him into boxing. That's true. Because he never hurt anybody until someone messed with one of his birds. Is that true? This is true. This is a quote from Mike Tyson himself. His love for birds started as a preteen. He cared for birds in his Brooklyn neighborhood. He said he couldn't ever fly them off the roof because big kids would come and steal them. Let me tell you something. I would not have wanted to be the guy. that Mike Tyson punished for hurting one of his birds. But he said the big kids. I don't care if he was seven. It's Mike Tyson. Dude, that's one guy you don't mess with. I wonder at what age Mike Tyson was capable of beating up a full grown man. Beating you up seven years old, six years old. I'm going to take a legitimate guess. I'm going to say 11. Yeah, 11 to 12. He would whip our butts right now. Yeah, 11 or 12 years old. Because I started following Tyson when he was 17 years old. Me too. Loved him. I had all of his fights on VHS tape. I taped them. He used to be on ABC Wide World of Sports, which is similar to ABC's Wide World of Sports. Remember the black shorts, the black high boots? Not high, but the middle boots. No socks. No socks. No socks. Dude, I was...
obsessed with Mike Tyson. I remember the video game. Oh, Tyson's Punch Out. The greatest video game ever to be made. When Tyson would walk into the arena, he was chilling to look at. He was absolutely chilling. Now, if you're real young and you didn't see Tyson fight, just YouTube some of his highlights. Incredible. I have a DVD that's all Tyson knockouts. Yeah. Awesome. Up until he was, you know, his first, I can't remember how many fights it was, but every fight was a knockout. Most of them came in the first round. Yeah. Awesome. I remember watching those growing up. I'm not a boxing fan at all. But I would just sit there with, like, jaw open, just like. You would watch? He's an animal. Yeah, because my brother and my dad would watch it. He was an animal in the ring. An animal. It was amazing. Maybe that's why he's on the animal planet. Well, the Birdman of Boxing has a new show, and it's called Taking on...
Tyson. It's going to be all about him racing pigeons. He races them? He races pigeons. And you know, I guess pigeon racing... Do they run? No, I guess pigeon racing is a really big business. And there's like heavy wagering on races that can span as much as 500 miles the birds race. I got huge pigeon money. Or do they fly laps? My family. My family. We come from pigeon money. Yeah. So I went to college. Yeah, we got very old pigeon money. Pigeon money. Imagine walking into one of his pigeon lofts that are filled with pigeons. Oh, that's a nightmare. He must have people in there cleaning constantly. It must reek feathers everywhere. You know that he used to have a very famous story. Mike Tyson used to have a, somebody will call and correct me, but I believe it was a lion. I can correct you as we speak. What was it? A tiger? I'll tell you what. Jamie and I, there's a place in Dallas. Do you remember Ayo worked on The Edge? Yeah. He was a DJ in Dallas. He turned me on to this place. It's a tiger rescue. We have pictures. Jamie will bring them in on Friday. We'll post them on my blog of us. You get to see the tigers. There's probably 50 tigers there. They said Tyson and his entourage showed up with two Bengal tigers, I believe. Dropped them off.
And left. Are you kidding? I'm not kidding. I'll email AO tonight and get the whole story about Tyson's tigers. Yeah. And there's an animal rescue. I think it's in like Weatherford, Texas. And it is phenomenal. We took chicken legs and we get to feed tigers. It was the coolest day ever. What do you mean he dropped them off? He literally was like. On his back. I don't want these. They had him in a trailer and they're like, I don't want these. He's like, I don't want these anymore. And he dropped them off there and they're like, okay. So they had to rescue him. So he saw those two tigers. Well, he had a tiger when he was in Vegas. I'm sure it was the same one. It was probably the same one. I think there were two there, though. And he was doing an interview one time. Sure, we could probably find the clip. But he was doing an interview, and he talked about how he was, well, they were filming him, and he would get in there, and he would, like, wrestle with the tigers. Oh, my gosh. It was crazy. He is nuts. And he goes, they said something to the effect of, and if you got little ears in the car. Earmuffs. You want to give some earmuffs on this one? But what Tyson said during this interview is, because they said, what do you do when they're unruly, blah, blah, blah. And he said something effective. I punch him in the ball. Oh, my God. Yeah. And the person interviewing was like, excuse me. What? Say that one more time. He goes, yeah, I punch him in the ball. Aren't you supposed to do that? But to a tiger, a tiger would attack.
That's what you do to a dude attacking you on a path. I've heard that about dogs. Never would you punch a dog in the mouth. If you're being attacked by one. Oh, if you're being attacked. Yeah. No, just give it love. Really? If it's attacking you, you just love it? Cujo is coming after you and you're just going to pet him? I can take care of him. And that rule is not about dogs. It's for great whites. That's the nose. You punch him in the nose. The shark in the nose. It's supposed to be in the testicles. It's great white. Aren't they internal? No. No, they're not. I have a vision of a shark now. They're not, Lauren. They're this big. Really? That's the size of a bowling ball. Average great white. A delicacy in China or something? I'm just telling you, man. How do they swim? They say if they walk on your surfboard. Punch them in the sack. Or kick them. In the ding-ding. In the ding-ding. I'm going to have to remember that next time. If a great white ever jumps on your surfboard, Scientific. Jumps. The scientific deal is that you kick them in the ding-ding. That's right. All right. I'm going to keep that in mind. Bye. There's nothing stupid about that. Nothing. I can hear Jay. They're sniggling. I've got this vision in my head. I can't get it out now of a shark with a big ding-ding. Ding-ding. I didn't say anything about size, you pervert. I know, but it's just in my head now. I've seen a beluga whales before. You have not. I have. Show off.
I swear. I was with my mom. She'll tell you I was a little girl and I saw the act of love in the underwater. Yes. You know when you can go down below and you can see through the glass and you see them swimming? She will? Yes. No, her backyard. She's from La Jolla. They had a little money. They had killer whales in the backyard. You guys had beluga money? We had beluga money. We had pigeon money. No, but I saw it, and it was... How old were you? Eight. And you said, Mom, what's that? I didn't say anything. I knew. Oh, you did? I was like, whoa. She didn't have to tell you. They're fornicating. I'm going to guess eight. I could have been a little bit older if I knew, but I remember knowing, and I remember a couple years ago hearing my mom say to one of her friends, I saw a beluga whale one time, and I remember thinking, so I was right. Mom, what's... Never mind. They say the walrus has the biggest... You know, my nickname in high school is the Walrus. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for calling me. FYI. FYI. Don't really know. Don't really know. Don't really know.
Don't really know. I am the walrus. I went there. Don't really know. When I was little, my friend had a little brother that called it a dicky bird. All right. Well. We have descended. Thank you. So thanks for listening. We appreciate that. And you know what? We'll see you next year. Scare muffs. Keep them on. And testimony goodbye. All right. We've worried about the ear muffs. Octopus have eight tentacles. Yeah. Thanks. Thank you. Tentacles. Tentacles. So. They also called me the octopus, FYI. Thanks. The walrus. Speaking of being, I thought of something kind of random about when we were kids that I was going to ask you guys. Did you guys order books at school? Oh, my God. Best day of the year. Dude. Best day of the year. Wait, wait, wait. Best day of the year? They didn't do it a couple of, like, it would happen every once in a while. I think, like, once a quarter or a semester. Book fairs where they sell, like, pencils and stuff? No. I'm talking in class. I know what you mean. They would come around and they would hand out these little. It's a little, like a worksheet. Little worksheet. And it was colorful and you flip and you circle what you want. It's like a magazine drive. You looked at all the books. Dude. And you would circle the books. The best. And the day that the books came in. Oh, my God. Is that, Mike, when you guys used to hike like three miles in the snow? Yes. Do you not remember that? Yes. It's an old guy thing. No, I remember. No, they still have it. Jenna comes home and she has that stuff. It's a colorful little book. You flip through it. It's like a little magazine. Scholastic.
Don't remember, but it would be like Curious George books. Encyclopedia Brown. Encyclopedia Brown. Judy Blume. Judy Blume. That's all the ones I got, obviously. Me and you both. Are you there, God? It's me, Mikey. My babysitter's club. About Mikey's first period. My first period. I learned about it from that, from Judy Blume. You know what's funny? I read all of her books. Weird. You did? Yeah, I'd love to read, so. Weird. Blubber. Blubber. Genius. Super fudge. Yep. Brilliant. Really? Yes, all of them. All of them. Wow. Freckle juice? Freckle juice? Freckle juice. You're something else. Every single stinking one of them. We must. How did you get away with that? We must increase our bust. How did you get away with that? It didn't work, by the way. What I mean is, you tried? Because I was a nude? I tried daily. Okay. Yeah. How did you get away with that? You don't have any sisters. No. How did you get away with ordering Judy Blume? Without your dad kicking you out of the house. You know, I don't know that I ordered them. I think I bought them with my mom. Because she had, some of them were for boys. I mean, Super Fudge was for boys. Aren't you embarrassed right now? Not at all. Not at all. Super Fudge was for boys. Super Fudge was for boys. It was about boys. Bro. She wrote both. Bro. What? I promise you. Okay, you can promise. I'm telling you, Judy Blume for girls. Hey, listen, you're giving me the, okay, fine. He's Googling Judy Blume is for boys. Yeah.
He's going to Google the words, Judy Blume is for boys. No, he Googled super fun. It's like, did you mean, Google's going to come back and go, did you mean Tom Clancy is for boys? Are you ready? Michael Crichton, did you mean Michael Crichton is for boys? There was a book that came out. It was called Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. And it was about a dude who had a little, about this guy, Peter. He had a little brother named Fudge. Just because there's a boy in the story doesn't necessarily... Dude, it's for boys. Trust me. Come on, clown. So is a jazz flute. That's why I play the clarinet, too. This doesn't say anything about boys or girls. It's for boys. Trust me. For the love of God, it's about boys. Take care of business right now. Makes no sense. Thanks. Yeah. Judy Blume for boys. Is it the clarinet? It's actual audio. So brilliant. 12 years old. Yeah. When the books came in. Best day. It was the best day ever. They would bring the books in. And all you could think about. And our teacher was. Like she was a torch. Torture us. To wait the whole day. Which I thought was filthy. She'd be distracted all day. She got the new books. Filthiest thing she could do. Most popular books was.
Anything about dinosaurs? I got all the Berenstain Bear books. The what? The Berenstain Bears. No boys allowed. Really? No girls allowed. I'm sorry. Remember Encyclopedia Brown? Yeah. So he was reading little girl books and you were reading little boy books? The Berenstain Bears. You guys are all clowns. I'm mad at me. You guys were confused. No, they were about everything. Apparently. Really, she had like two books about girls. I mean, seriously. Yeah, for sure. Blubber was about a girl. Blubber was genius. It's about a girl, though. Mike, I ever tell you about the time I got a book about Melissa Etheridge? It's really great. It's written by all her history. It's written by a man. It's written by a guy, dude. It's her whole discography. You guys are clowns. You're being a clown. Excuse me. M1 Kristen. Yes. You loved it. I loved it. I had to pull up, so I did not just cause an accident. What was it called when they would do it? What did they call it? Like, did it have a name? Was it book fair? It was book fair in our school. Yeah. But all those little magazines. Oh, yeah. Slip, and your mom had to give you the check. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, your mom had to give you a check. My mom would be like, really? Really? Yeah. It's like 30 books on here. Yeah. I'm like, you know I want to read them. See, and that's the thing. Like, I could not circle until my mom, like, my mom had to sit there with me. With you? Because she had to control how much it would be. Yep, yep.
And, you know, I usually had a budget of like 45 cents. Yeah. I never got a single one. You didn't? My mom always like forgot to turn the money on time. Really? Every time. That would kill me. Oh, I did. Were you on the East Coast when this happened? No, it was in Texas. We had a thing called Book It with Pizza Hut. I don't know if that was a good thing. They brought pizza in too? Well, you had to, for every like book that you read, you would qualify. You had to read a certain number of books to get. personal pan pizza. Really? Yeah. Did you get any? I would have eaten more. Yeah, of course. I would have been 700 pounds. You have any idea how much I read when I was a little kid? Oh, yeah, me too. Oh, there's the little obese woods boy again. Oh, he's got a book in his hand. He's so smart. The Judy Blume book. Yeah. Great. Kid's eaten 18 pizzas this year. He's so sweet. Let him in. Let him in. Let him come in with his Judy Blume book. He's on his period, so let him sit down and he'll be okay. I loved it. I ate so much pizza. I read so much. Thank you very much, Kristen. What about D.A.R.E.? What is it? D.A.R.E.? To keep kids off drugs. I forget what it stands for. Drug awareness. We had a guy that came in our class. His name was Officer Bob. I don't remember what we had to do, but I won something from D.A.R.E. and I got to ride in the back of a cop car. You won a free joint.
Yes, exactly. From the case. She won. Now, this is crystal meth. Yes. All the kids are like, really? How do you win that? Drug awareness. Reinforcement. Yeah, they brought in actual apparatuses and drugs. I saw Officer Bob demonstrated the nunchucks. This is how you cut cocaine. And he nunchucks himself in the crotch. Come on. Oh, yes. He'd be like, here's a baking powder. Yeah. What you do is you mix it. You want to heat it. Okay. You got to get it to exactly 112 degrees. M1, Brooke. He nunchucks himself in the crotch. Hello. Brooke, are you there? Yes, I am. Go ahead. Woods is right. The books are for boys, too. What's up, dudes? I told you. You should feel man-tastic right now. I do. I'd read them tonight. I love them. My boys have read them. They love them. All the super fudge, the freckle juice. The best. Yeah. Like, freckle juice, there's not even a girl in the book. You sure? I'm positive. Totally. Totally. Woods has got it in his backpack right now. He's like, dude, I'll show you. Here, let me get the fourth grade nothing out for you. It's bookmarked. I got super fudge right here. Super fudge was so good. Never heard of it. I bet Frankie has some super fudge for you right here. Listen, I'll come over. I'll read you a couple of Judy Blume books. Yes. Cool, dude. That'd be it. Yes. We'll call it Bloom Night.
Bloom Night with Woods and Frankie. And your bloomers. And our bloomers. Yeah. Yeah, dude, let's wear our bloomers and read Judy Bloomberg. What do you say, dude? No, dude, I'm busy. My wife's coming in tomorrow. Tomorrow? Tomorrow. Wait, what's today? Wait, did you guys hear that? That was the sound of Frankie's heart breaking. I know. Why don't you keep it shut over there? Why are you always making... In your window. Gotta make weird jokes, man. I was sticking up for you. Yeah, you're saying my heart's breaking. What would my heart be breaking for? I don't care if it's a stupid wife. Don't call her stupid. I didn't mean it. When's she leaving? She's going to be here for five days, actually. Really? Why so long, man? I've got to find a house. We're going to move in together because we're husband and wife. That's cool, man. I'm going to have one wife for one of these days. Oh, yeah? You got any prospects? For sure, dude. I'm dating girls all over the town, man. Making sex with them and stuff. I can't even stop, man. I'm like, I'm an animal. They're going to have a show about me on Animal Planet called I Can't Stop Making Love to Women. Last girl you made love to. What's her name? Stuzi. Stuzi. Stuzi Barberos. Wow. Old Stuzi Barberos. That's a made-up name. She had big, giant breasts.
Did she? Wow, those sound amazing. She was a G-cup. A G-cup? Those sound like some knee shooters, dude. Well, you know, the deal is, they have a saying about old Frankie. Old Frankie likes breasts, that's for sure. That's a made up saying. That's for sure. Yeah, it's what all my friends, like I'm so well known for it that my friends would just be like, boy, that old Frankie, he sure likes breasts, that's for sure. Those are made up friends. Celebrity with the nicest breasts. Oh. If you like him so much, you would know. Kevin James. Just the alley. Oh. Oh. That was awful. Really? She's kind of man-ish. That was awful. She looks a little like a dude. What are you talking about, man? Your favorite celebrity, RuPaul. RuPaul. Okay. I mean. That's definitely a guy. That would make sense. That makes no sense, bro. David Copperfield? Oh, no. What? What? He does have some magic fingers. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Oh, wow. Wow. I'm crazy in here. It sure is. Frankie, I love Frankie. I love Frankie. He loves me a little bit. You always got to make it into something weird, dude. You're a real ladies man. Yeah, man. Jessica Simpson. You know, Alyssa Milano. Alyssa?
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It doesn't look pretty. It's very awkward. Sorry. Wow. Very visual. Kid is hot today. My sweater doesn't cover it. Mikey's repulsed right now. He's repulsed. He follows it with the kid is hot today. He wants that song, the kid is hot tonight to be his. Oh, your paddles. I know that. Let's see. Am I going to leave off? I derailed you for the rest of the day. You did. My day just left my body. Sorry. You never get him back. Nope. Oh, the dentist. Yep. What do you leave in the root canals? Paperclips. Oh, God. Why? So do they go back? They make more money? No. What happened is he's a former dentist now. He's accused of placing paperclips instead of stainless steel posts inside the teeth of root canal patients because, you know, it's a lot less expensive.
And, yeah, he got in front of a grand jury yesterday. Everybody just ripped their headphones off. And he's been charged with assault and battery larceny, submitting false claims to Medicaid and illegally prescribing drugs. Oh, man, this is bad. Yeah, he's going to be arraigned April 8th. Paperclips in your teeth. Bad. Little pieces of paperclips. Put that guy away for life, dude, is what I say. Is that noise? Yes. You have never seen a bigger Sally. Yeah, than at the dentist. I don't have any cavities. Knock on wood. Really? Yet. Wow. I didn't have any until I was an adult. My teeth are made of ivory. Really? Is that right? Yeah. You got tusks for teeth? I have tusks for teeth. I have a real tooth in my head just about. I've been to the dentist so many times. Yeah. How many cavities? Boy. They all have been filled or capped, pretty much. Maybe try brushing your teeth with toothpaste. No, no, I just have bad teeth. My mom and dad made me brush and floss and everything. It's just not solid teeth. In New Jersey, we had fluoride in the water. Yeah, that's good for you. Yeah, so do we. I think what it is, I'm a teeth grinder, so in the middle of the night, I just would grind. My son, Jake, grinds his teeth when he sleeps. And it sounds so bad. Yeah.
And I don't know what to do. Get him a mouth guard. They finally gave me a mouth guard because I was just fracturing all my teeth. That's why. Matt went through his mouth guard. Dude. You know how some people have an over or under bite? Yeah. His bite doesn't touch anymore. Really? Really? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I'm so skeeved right now. I think I do it now. You're going to do it now. That's what my dentist tells me. How many people right now are actually grinding that? Oh, dude. That's weird. Jay. Yes. What is the angriest your parents ever got at you? Oh, my gosh. Well, I can tell you my mom. One time I let the beat. I got the Elton John 45. The bitch is back. Yeah. And I was like, I'm going to try this word out on my mom. So she said something. I said, bitch. No. Jay. And immediately I started regretting it. Five fingers to the face. Oh, she just turned and walked away. And then my dad got home. What was the worst? If I ever pulled that, I don't know that my dad would be able to contain himself. He was just beating the crap out of you? Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't that the big no-no for all of us? It was like your dad would come home and say, don't you dare disrespect your mother. Oh, yeah. Oh, I got it. I remember when I was five years old, about five or six, and I was putting stuff away in the kitchen.
Said something bad about my mom. And I didn't think anybody was in the kitchen. Because you were standing in your apple crate by yourself? That's right. I was standing on my little apple crate. The same height now as you was then. That's right. I was actually about, yeah, two inches shorter than now. Than now. Five. And, yeah, turned around and ran into. Old man. Right into the old five-finger. Five-finger salute is what they call it. Wow. You got saluted across your face. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Learned real quick. Wow. Yeah, my dad taught me some real tough lessons when I was a kid. But I tell them now to this day, like, I am happy for them. Thank you. I mean it. Like, my dad taught me stuff. And, you know, I mean, I know that there's people that are like, I can't believe. And Rebecca's got me on board with the timeouts and everything. But my kid Jake don't need discipline. My kid Ryan don't need discipline. Luke. We're a Lukey boy. Luke. At Lukey. The girl needs some discipline. He's what? Nine months old? Seven. You may want to put a shock collar on him when he turns like six. Because he'll be driving your car blasting cigs. Seriously. That's six. I can see it in his eyes. He'll have a tat. It's his mom when he's six years old. It's 100% true. Like yesterday. An anchor.
Yesterday, Woodsy came over and Ryan was in his, we were talking about it too, about how my son Ryan, he kind of, because Luke is so high maintenance, Ryan kind of gets the, what do they call it? The shaft? Yeah. Because he's so good. Yeah. He doesn't require as much immediate attention. Exactly. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's just always smiling. He sat on my lap for 20 minutes. Yeah. He's so sweet. And you make eye contact with Luke, and he's like, what? What? Talking to me. What? What? Ooh. Yeah, it's true. He's got that look. So, yeah, I mean, how about you, Lauren? What's the worst you ever got it? The worst I ever got it? What's the angriest you ever got your parents? Well, I have to say that party. For sure. The party that I threw with 200 kids on my mom's birthday when they came home. And it was your mom's birthday. Or you know what? Actually, I topped it. I snuck out of my room several times with a ladder. You did? Yeah. And one time my parents, I guess, went to check on me. My door was locked to my bedroom. They're knocking. They're pounding. They're concerned. No answer. Finally, they break down the door.
And they see that there's no girl in there. They broke the door? Yeah. You're like, dead. No, I think they used like a butter knife or something to jimmy in there. How old were you? I was my senior year. I was already like, I'm out of here. 17 or 18. And yeah, the ladder was propped up against the window. Where'd you go, you dirty bird? Just down the street. Oh, sure. Just to, like, a party with older boys. What was his name? Yeah. What was his name? No, it was a party with, like, older boys. Boys that were, like, already in community college, you know. Really mature. The townies. Yeah. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. Worst I ever got it was for lying. Stuck a twig into the rental house behind our house. Stuck a twig into the lock. Broke off the twig inside the lock. And like any brilliant kid, went up to my dad and said, Dad. Dad. Somebody. Somebody. Somebody broke a twig off in the lock. His name definitely wasn't Mike. No, it was not me. And my dad goes, really? Son. Really? Was it you? Really, son? Was it you? Nurse. Nurse. Really, son? Would you like to tell me the truth? I am telling you the truth, Dad. I don't think so. I am.
It wasn't me. I don't think you're telling me the truth. Dad, why do you have a Spanish accent? Because I'm Mexican. I know, Dad, but you're from America. But I am a proud Mexican. I know, Dad. I know that. Isn't it strange that you have a Mexican accent? Viva la Mexico, Mike. Dad, you're from Brawley, dude. Remember the Alamo, Mike. Dad. Remember. I do. I do remember it. Who broke the damn twig off in the lock? Not me. Who broke the damn twig off in the lock? First of all, Edward James Olmos, it wasn't me. You sound like Mickey Mouse. Well, what? Who broke the twig? Well, it wasn't me. I'm going to take my belt off. No, don't. I'm going to spank you. Don't, Dad. Viva la Mexico. Dad. Viva la Mexico. We heard in Mexican. I must give you the five-finger salute. I'm about to slap the crap out of you, Mike. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you. That's right. You're acting straight. Mike, don't ever forget it. Don't ever forget your innate Mexican. Dad, you're from Gilroy, bro. You're from Gilroy. ¿Dónde está la zapatería?
Is that the only thing you remember from Spanish class, Dad? Yes, Dad. Why do you want to know where the library is? Dad, why are you calling me Michael? He wants to get some Judy Blume books. Dad, why do you alternately switch from Michael to Mikey? What about Miguel? Miguel. Miguel. Yes, Dad. Dígame. Dígame. Dónde está el restaurante? This is M1. I don't know who this is. M1. M1 Woodchip. Hey, it's Woodchip. The best. What up, Dom? He's the best Photoshopper on the planet. What's up, Woodchip? When I was little, I got a little brother. We tend to get in fights from time to time, and me and him got in a fight, and I go running down the hallway, and my dad looks down the hall, and sees my brother laying on the ground with a bloody nose, and he's sitting in his recliner, and he looks at me, and he jumps up to come after me, and he had a blanket, and the blanket fell on the ground, and it was on tile floor. And as soon as he stepped on that blanket to come after me, he slipped and ate it so hard. Oh, my.
Oh, you're dead. He popped up like the Hulk and just, like, started screaming. And I went and watched myself in the bathroom for, like, two hours. He ripped his shirt off. Oh, man. That is awesome. Oh, my goodness. Hey, don't anybody Photoshop Woodchip's dad ripping his shirt off or slipping on the thing. On his blankie. My brothers used to do the... Worst stuff. Do you guys remember those old 70s plastic mats that used to go on carpet? They were clear plastic. And when they flipped them over, they had the little teeth underneath. My brothers, I would be outside playing barefoot. And my brothers would flip it over and go, Mike, Mike. And they would have me run in. Michael, come inside. It's time for menudo. It's time for menudo and enchiladas. Yes, it's time for menudo and horchata. And flautas. They're rolled tacos. Rolled tacos. Those are rolled tacos. Thank you. By the way, the Mikey Show is five people. It's myself. It's Woodsy. It's Lauren O'Brien. Top of the morning to you, by the way. Oh, top of the morning to you. You know, it's St. Patrick's Day. Sienna Farrar. I have to say it. It's your name now. Sienna Farrar. And our boy.
Jay Isbell is our producer. Thank you. I just asked L.O.B. if she would be one of those type of women that would leave her last name if she got married. And she gave me that look that said, you know I would. No question. I'm not taking his name. No question. No. Woodsy, wouldn't you be crushed? You know I have one word for that. Get. Get. That would be a deal breaker for me. Absolutely. Deal breaker? As I'm going to be like, okay, give me that ring back and here's this and I'm out. Well, yeah. Yeah, I don't know yet if that's the deal. But I feel like since I just did it, it's weird. It's definitely weird. Now I feel married, you know? Yeah, well, I would be crushed. I don't need a man to feel married. I'll marry myself. That's true. I married myself. I married myself. I married to nature and Mother Earth. Married to wheat. It's weird. Lauren has the same voice as your dad. That's right. It's so strange. I'm married to Angela. I'm married to tacos and flautas. Jay, you strike me as the type of man that would be comfortable with that. You know, I would.
Kim actually changed her name, though. You know, I think I like the traditional way of going, though. I think you should. I think you should take that guy's name. Kim changed her name to what? Sunflower? You could keep your name professionally if you wanted to. Right. You know, but as a, you know, on everything else, I think it'd be. I think legally I would change it. But with, you know, I'm just so huge in the public eye. I think all your fans. I think all my devoted fans would be so confused. Who the hell is Lauren Commerce? Yeah. But that's when you leave Lauren O'Brien, and if you marry Matt, then you put... But on Facebook, I didn't hyphenate my name, but on Facebook, I left Sienna Richards. So people could find you, though. Yeah. Well, what happens... What happens if... I then get a divorce. Then you know what? Then you're Lauren O'Brien again. But then everybody knows. What if I get a divorce? Oh my gosh. First of all, I won't be getting a divorce. When I get married, it's forever.
Yes, exactly. I wouldn't get married if I thought there was an out. Well, no one's going to get married if they think that they're going to get a divorce. A lot of people say, well, if it doesn't work out, there's always divorce. Creepy. Why do you think there's more than a 50% divorce rate? Because people decide to get a divorce. I full-on know a girl who is like, let's just see if this works. Yeah, plenty of people I know say that. They get health benefits. Oh, that's not good. Not good. My parents have been married for 53 years. It's so rad. I asked them, how did you do it? They said, we just didn't get a divorce. I said, did you want to? A lot of Jack Daniels. A lot of Jack Daniels. A lot of Jack Daniels. A hundred percent of married couples, there is a time where you want to get a divorce. Yeah. A hundred percent. Sure. Yeah. Every couple. Yeah. I'm sure if you ask every married couple, there's been times. The way that you don't do it is you don't do it. Yep. It's not an option. But you did say there is one caveat that you said that I agree with, and that is infidelity. Infidelity. And I agree with that as well. Yeah. Infidelity means all bets are off. But I don't know. See, LLB plays the tough role, but I think she'd be a softie, and she would say, I would love to be. When Matt comes around, she's so giggly. Oh, my God. It's like when my wife was in high school, if.
You know, Scott Baio or Leif Garrett walked in the room. That's what it's like. She's like... I'm a bundle of love. It's true. It's true. How you doing, hon? 570-1949. Let's see. Oh, there's so much stuff that I have not got to, that I want to tell you about. Did you know that Avatar's made an announcement? It's nerdier than before. No. Is that it? That is not the announcement. They're going to stop making announcements. That's the announcement. This is a big deal. What? Sure it is. People are into Avatar, so listen up if you're one of those people. Fans will be able to own Avatar on DVD in just about a month. Wow. That's crazy. I'll call the newspaper. 20th Century Fox announced that the Blockbuster will be releasing on DVD and Blu-ray on April 22nd. Gosh, they're just getting quicker and quicker with those. And you know how a few days ago I announced that they're going to be doing 3D TVs and stuff like that? Like you can actually in your house have a 3D TV that they're working on the DVDs, but it probably won't be out until sometime next year. The Avatar DVD in 3D. Really? There's a lot of Ds. Hey, what about NASA discovering life hidden?
How deep into the Antarctic ice? 600 feet. Oh, my gosh. Yes, they just drilled into the Antarctic ice, 600 feet, and there's no light there. And scientists made a very startling discovery when they got down there. There were swimming shrimp-like creatures alive under the ice. Now, this is pretty crazy. It can show, you know. Where and how forms of life can survive. They didn't think anyone could survive in conditions like that. And now there's little shrimp-like creatures that are surviving and doing just fine. They're mating. They're eating. They're staying alive. They're wearing North Face. They're wearing North Face. That's how they do it. That's how they stay warm. A NASA team lowered a small video camera and got the first ever photograph of the underside of an ice shelf. Really? Let's see it. What? You got a picture of it? Of the shrimp-like creature? Scram? No, it's not on there. But it's a picture of the hole that they drilled in the eyes. Wow, that's a big hole. A crazy-looking hole. Swiss designer has created a watch using dinosaur doo-doo. Yes. Yes, they have. What's the deal with it? I bet my guess is that Michael Irvin already has one. No. They're hoping to...
They just want to make a big deal about this watch. I like watches, man. You're a big watch connoisseur. I like watches. That one kind of stinks, though. That's because it's made out of dinosaur dog, man. That's the deal with it. No, it's gross. It's fossilized feces, and they're going to sell it for about $12,000. It comes with a strap made from skin of an American cane toad. So it's dinosaur poop and toad skin. Are y'all crazy? Some of the oil's pissed. What, Hoyle? You can't talk about that on the radio. It's a story. I don't care. You can't talk about it. What did she say, necessarily, that's the bad word to say? Dung. Don't hit that. That ain't funny. I'm trying to censor you. I think she said doo-doo, too. You only hit it after I say the funny thing. It's a story, Hoyle. I'm not making a joke about it. You can't be joking around about little tiny shrimps having dung watches.
Imagine if a shrimp had a dung watch. I just did because of you saying that on the radio. You can't just go around saying that. It's an awesome picture. A shrimp with a dung watch. Want to know what time it is? Oh, really? Is that your hole? Yeah, hole. I'll get you a dung watch. Stop saying it. You don't want one? First of all, stop imitating me. Second of all, I'm not imitating you. You are imitating me. I'm not. She's the radio voice. The biggest bra size is now available in Britain. Are you curious what size it is? I think they call it the Farrar. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. July 9th, Cricket Wireless Amphitheater, presented by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. Kings of Lehigh. Frederick's Rage, with accolades from around the globe.
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Your Mexicanness is what defines you. Exactly. All right. Play some menudo. That's right. And eat some menudo. 570-1949. What we're going to do is you give us a call and you're going to pick a horse. It's time to play Pick a Horse. And the way that it works is you're going to pick Sienna, Woods, or Lauren. And we're going to be doing Irish names. All right. So these are all actors. With Irish names. If you recognize the actor, you say your name. Say Lauren, Woods, or Sienna. And then you've got to tell me the actor. If you get it wrong, we deduct a point. Don't look at me. I looked at both of you guys. I know the rules. I looked at both of you. I know the rules. I don't cheat. Don't cheat. The way that the game works is that you say your name and I have to say it. I have to acknowledge you. Why are you looking right at me? Well, because you've had...
A little bit of an issue. I'm on about a five-week dry spell, too. So maybe it's time for a W today. That's right. He hasn't been... It doesn't matter. He'll never be picked last. Kid is hot. Here's the thing. Here's what we've noticed. We've noticed that whenever we play these games, everybody gets along like grown-ups. Everyone's very adult about it. Today is opposite day. Every day is opposite day. You guys have an issue being mature when we play this game. Yeah, we do. We like to win. I would say. A little bit of a problem with being mature during this game. I'm going to start stretching and get ready. I may just stay seated. You're going to remain sitting down? We'll see. Not a chance. We'll see if I can do it. Wait until Shrek comes on. That's true. I'll probably fall. She will. Woods and Lauren standing up. Shrek is Scottish. Sienna is remaining seated. I am.
Okay. M1 Irish Mexican. What up? Who are you going to select? Sheena. There you go. Hold on. He always picks you. I love him. Did Jay say the price? No, not yet. Jay, what's the price? Staples. I'm going to say a six-pack of CDs. Nuts. Set of steak knives. All right. M1 Sanjaya. Come on, dude. It's St. Patty's Day, dude. I want my girl. Lauren O'Brien. You're a clown, dude, by the way. You're a giant clown. You just hurt Woodsy so bad, Sanjay. So much for a bromance, pal. I love you, bro. Thank you. Hang on the line. I think he just went down in all of our books. What? Except for Lauren. What? 5-7-0. I just got picked third. That just reminds me of fourth grade again. Welcome to my life. Mikey can control it, you guys. Don't take it personally. He just goes to a line. Why do you always choose me last, then? I just go to a line. I don't. I choose what's on the screen. I just go in order. We're already being very mature. I'm trying to make it so that people don't get their feelings hurt. That's right. Mikey Show, who's this? M1 Drupal. M1 what? Drupal. Drupal? Drupal. That's RuPaul. Drupal? M1 RuPaul. You get Woodsy. Hang on the line. Yeah, great. Guy hadn't won in weeks.
This is your week, pal. I'm moisturizing. So explain to me what's happening. I'm going to play you a clip from either a movie or a television show. It's going to be a person, an actor with an Irish surname. As soon as you recognize who the actor is, you say your name. I'll call on you. And then you'll tell me who the actor is. What? Minus one. Yes. Here we go. Minus one. Are you ready? No, no, no, no. I got to get the scoreboard ready. Get the score thing ready. Here we go. Again, I must call. Here we go. Woods. Eddie Murphy. How in the world? You're not going to fall for the banana in the tailpipe? You guys say that all the time. That's like Jay and Woods say. I fall for no banana, I'm a tailpipe. Are you ready? Booja. I'm not crying. Some of these you may get, some of these you may not. We'll see.
We're serious all the time. I met your big race team. Who cares? This is my life. This is my life. You know what? There's only one good thing about coming to these races. Woods. Woods. Oh, damn it. Molly Shannon. That was good. I was trying to think of her name the whole time. Here we go. My God. I killed a kangaroo. I never saw it. Such a beautiful animal. It's the national symbol of Australia. And I killed it. Hey, don't worry about that, Charlie. I read in the book that the kangaroos are the rodents of the outback. We cool. Shouldn't we bury it or something? No, look, man. My uncle has one rule of thumb. He says whenever you hit something, you keep on rolling. Nobody got it. Jerry O'Connell. Jerry O'Connell. What movie, Jay? Goonies? No, it's the one with the kangaroo. I can't remember now. It's the... Kangaroo Jack. Kangaroo Jack. Thank you. Here we go. Three people saw that movie, by the way, Jay.
I was one of them. You know what? So was Jerry O'Connell. I know, right? I know. Here we go. You do a hell of a job, pal. I mean, I got to throw a few yoga stretch moves into my workout. Scott, Sienna. Sienna. Matthew McConaughey. Well done. I got my shirt off. Here we go. That got me in trouble. As a friend, you gave me. Woods. Rosie O'Donnell. Can you see or something? Yeah, I can see. You can. You ready? Yeah. Hey, Colonel. I'll get you in New York, all right? Woods. Woods. Chris O'Donnell. Man, you're killing it. It was Sense of a Woman. Love that movie. Correct. Here we go. Hey, any voice, Smitty? Woody's about to get off on the wrong track. Who elected you leader in this outfit? Well, Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought.
Boys, just stick with me. Leave me. I got a plan. We can get out of here. Okay, I'm with you fellas. Lauren? Woody Harrelson? You had to give it a shot, right? I haven't said anything in five minutes. You gotta give it a shot. That was George Clooney. I've never known. It's Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Yes. Damn it. Ready? I've been working on and off through the years. Did you went to school for a while? You got tired of making movies and you went to school? Or you did both together? I did both. I would take breaks and go to school and then go back and work. And I had a son four years ago. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. That's very nice. And when you were in school, what were you studying? What did you want to do there? It was sort of for my own edification. I didn't really think I was going to go there to learn something else to do as a job. I know. Because I loved school and I was an English major. Oh, good. Yeah.
And I was like, the kid. Oh, dang it. She's in that movie. Is the buzzer going off the failure buzzer? She's in that movie with Cinderella Man. Jennifer Connell. Yes. Oh, she's so hot. Yes. She's in that with Russell Crowe. What was that movie? Cinderella Man. No, not Cinderella Man. He was Russell Crowe and he forgot his... Beautiful Mind. Beautiful Mind. That's right. She played his wife. Love her. Love her. Top five. I had her face. Top five. Here we go. Let me ask you something. Do you have, like, an alarm in your head that goes off every time I'm happy with someone else? What do you want from me? Lauren. Lauren. Matt Damon. That's two. Oh, I have a guess. All right, roll it again. Now, this is what we came down to, right? Okay, okay. Lauren's out. It's me and Sienna. Roll it again. I just took it off. Was it Michael J. Fox? No. See, this was for you. Oh, I didn't what? It was Chad Michael Murray. What tree hill? Hill is that? Man. I'm sorry, Jay. You watch One Tree Hill. That's your crutch that you go to every day. I said that off the air, Jay. I know. Jay couldn't find any cartoons of people with Irish people in there? Chad Michael Murray. I know. I've never heard of him. There's two more. He was a cute guy. I win. Oh, no, I don't. Then we're going to tie her to the flagpole in her bra and undies and watch the fun again. Lauren. Lauren. Parker Posey. No.
Although that's probably the most famous Irish name ever. Play it again. Parker Posey. No, I just took it off. Stop taking it off. Rose McGowan. She's hot, too. She's from, like, Witches or something. Last one. She's hot is definitely pertinent to who the game, who is in the game. That was Jawbreaker. What's the score again? Never saw her. Doesn't matter. We don't need the commentary of she's hot. What's the score again? No one's going to get this. And one time, I banned Lauren. Woods. That redheaded broad you like. What's her name? Sienna. Sienna. I already said Lauren. It doesn't matter. You were negative. It doesn't matter. You were negative anyway, yeah. You might win. You're negative two. Yeah, I won. It was Allison Hannigan. Mikey's love. That red-headed broad you like. That's all I can count with. What's the score? What's the score? Two to three. I'm only behind by one. Oh, it's over. Two to three. Cheater one and cheater two. Yeah, right. I didn't cheat. Wait, the game's over? Who won? Woods. It's over. He only won by one. I told you the kid's hot today, dude. Didn't I tell you? Kid is hot tonight. I'm sorry I won, Sanjaya. Drew Paul. Irish-Mexican. You just won. Yeah, dog. That's right. Hang on the line. Sorry. Feels good to be back to the winner's circle. Yeah. Sanjaya.
I know it. Exactly, dude. Maybe go with your boy. Yeah, I think I'm going to, man. Fine, have him. Take him. You know what? Lauren hit me up on Facebook, too, and she asked me if I was going to ever pick her as a horse. Sympathy. Thank you, Sanjaya. Sorry, Irish-Mexican. Sienna did not pull through. I did okay. She did okay, but she didn't have the firepower for you today. You know, and I think the problem is she wasn't standing up. Irish-Mexican. Got to stand up, Sienna. No. Look at how calm was I? I didn't fight with anyone. I know. I was the calm one. Me and Lauren are fighting. That's right. The standing up gets you guys going. Just because she's Irish and bricked on all the Irish names, she's mad at me. It's the truth. Woodsy, is it true that you got a Cooking Light magazine in the mail for no apparent reason and you didn't order it? Or that it had your name on it? Somebody do it as a joke? I think somebody is playing a prank on your boy, dude. I got my mail yesterday. I open it up. I go, huh, that's funny. Cooking Light. Great. Use the Pam instead of the butter. That is funny. Yeah, it was fabulous.
Look at Soar O'Brien. She's so mad. Look at Soar O'Brien over there. What are you sore about? She was negative four or three, and she really wanted to be negative two. She wanted to be negative two badly. She's really upset. I know. What will cheer us all up? Shamrock shakes. No. I don't know what that is, but I want one. Jameson's and a Guinness. A Guinness sounds good. The biggest bra size has been announced in Britain. Britain. And what size? Until now, the largest bra on general sale was a G-cup. But now, the world's biggest bra size is a K-cup. A K-cup? K-cup. Holy cow. Yes, the department store sell fridges in...
Britain just introduced this 32-pound bra. Not pound as in weight, as in dollars. 32 pounds? $50 bra? Listen to this, though, first. It has a four-foot circumference and extra-thick straps to support its contents. Each cup measures an impressive 18 inches at the widest point. Four feet circumference around a boob. That's... Possible? I'm all the way in. Weird. I'm on the whole thing. That's unmanageable. That's ridiculous. 10,000 women have already bought the K-Cup. It's branded. It's called the wind sock. That's what the fashion insiders are calling it, the wind sock. It doesn't even sound like a person would wear that. It doesn't. People do. It sounds so big.
Stop looking at me, Will. I'm not looking at you, dude. There might be a windsock in the mail for you. I'm not far behind. Oh, my goodness. 570-1949 is our number. Wind booty. Seriously. Did you guys know that one in four Californians are uninsured? That's perfect. One in four. That's 25%, Mike. Thank you. That's great math. Thank you. That's a lot, man. Mm-hmm. It jumped by almost two million in two years. Is that right? Mm-hmm. One in California. One in four Californians under the age of 65 have no insurance. Before this job, I didn't have any. You didn't? No. I went a year without any. That's a lot. Are we talking health? No, no, no. We're talking car insurance, right? This isn't insured. Health insurance. Oh, health insurance? Yeah. Health insurance. That's believable. Oh, my gosh. That guy's got a stethoscope hanging around his neck, so I think she's right. Wow. Living without health insurance. What a trip. So it's auto insurance then, right? Stop it. One out of four. Yeah. Just don't doubt me, all right? So, like, we should call AIS is what you're saying. Yes. I got you. That is definitely what you're saying. Well, you should, but you need the health insurance. Wow. One in four have no health insurance. I didn't either. Did you not? No, for like a year, a year and a half, two years. That's why when you cut your knee, you put oatmeal on it. That's right. That's right. That's so ridiculously expensive. What do they expect you to do?
I was disqualified. You know what's a good idea? Maybe health care for everybody. That's it. That'd be a pretty cool thing. Yeah. We should go with Obama. Yeah, you know what else would be a good idea? If I could keep rainbows in my pocket. That sounds real cute, too. You ever hear of Canada? Mm-hmm. Yeah, they do it. Yeah. You ever hear of the fact that in Canada, they have to fly physicians in from other countries just so that they can have the physicians available? Did you see Sicko 20 minutes ago? No, I need to. You're back on your iPod. Is that what you're doing? No. You're addicted to the iTunes again. You're back on the iTunes. 570-1949. Listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. If you're in the market for a new car, here are some important things to consider. Ford is far and away America's strongest automaker, offering models built for San Diego. Ford Fusion was just named Motor Trend's 2010 Car of the Year. Fusion Hybrid delivers up to 41 miles per gallon in the city. That's even better than Camry Hybrid. Ford Escape is fast becoming San Diego's favorite SUV, with a hybrid model that gets 34 miles per gallon in the city. Ford Focus delivers up to 35 miles per gallon on the highway.
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Caramel Station. At participating McDonald's. Try a free sample of McDonald's new blended or ice frappes Thursday, March 18th through Saturday, March 20th from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. McDonald's new mocha or caramel frappes. Now at McDonald's. Signs that say this is not an exit don't apply to him. His two cents have overruled Supreme Court decisions. If he rode in your car, its resale value would instantly increase. He likes the word fog. Were you to pass him on the street and he didn't see you, you would still feel like he said hello and asked you about your day. If you were stuck in an elevator with him, you wouldn't want to be saved. Even his treehouses have finished basements. His business card just says, I'll call you. Most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer those eggies.
Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends. Hey, morning, Dave. Morning, Sal. Looks like they gave me some of your mail by mistake. Uh-huh. Then you must have my missing lottery check. Nah, I'm keeping that. But here's the rest. Oh, wait, look. Another home loan offer. What you think? Indiana or Idaho? Where's it from? Not sure, but when I refinanced my home loan, I went closer to home. Really? Where? San Diego County Credit Union. San Diego County Credit Union handles home loans? Sure. Home loans, equity loans, refinancing, the whole enchilada. And they have a branch about a mile from here. Yeah, they're close, but... How about their rates? Really competitive. And San Diego County Credit Union's been around for over 70 years. So they aren't going anywhere, huh? Unlike me. I'm taking my kids to the park. Hey, let me know if my lottery check turns up. A great home loan is closer than you think. Just visit one of our convenient San Diego County Credit Union locations. Call 877-SDCCU for you. Or visit SDCCU.com. San Diego County Credit Union. Equal housing lender. Federally insured by NCUA. There's only one highest mountain.
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The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. Now back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Welcome back. I wanted to tell folks about something that Jay passed along to me that I thought was actually a really good cause. This is a friend of Jay's. His friend is Vinny. And Vinny's son Spencer had a snowboarding accident up in Brighton, Utah. It happened on February 1st. And he got injured really, really bad. Spent about a month in the hospital up in Utah and is now at Rady Children's Hospital here in San Diego. And it sounds like he's probably going to be there for a while. They're doing a benefit for him at the belly up. And it's called the Spencer Fox Benefit.
There's going to be some bands planned, Swingin' Kings, Beautiful Beats, DJ Shiny Boots, and there's going to be a live auction there. It's going to happen on Saturday, April the 10th. It's going to happen from 4.15 to 7 o'clock at night, and tickets are $50 in advance, $20 day of the show. Obviously, they're looking for donations, live auction, and there's a lot of details about it on Jay's blog, and you can read all about it. By the way, Jay tried kombucha yesterday for the first time. Oh, wow. Created a monster. Loved it. Get. You really did? I really did. The citrus, so good. With floating meat particles in it. I felt better. Maybe I just psyched myself out, but I felt great afterwards. You felt great? How much Kool-Aid did you mix it with? It was like a detox kind of thing. I know. How much Kool-Aid did you mix it with? I'm telling you, man. I'll do it if you do it. I did it. On the show. Oh, you drank it. I didn't drink it. Yeah, you didn't drink it. I drank that other garbage. What? That green stuff. I thought that was kombucha, no? No, it wasn't. He drank the green essentials. He drank the green kombucha. Yeah. I drank the kombucha. How bad was it? It was pretty bad. No. No, it was delicious. No, it definitely wasn't. Tastes like swamp water. Yeah. Not that good, but... Tastes like health. Tastes like health. Tastes like bottled health. Yeah, bottled health if...
By bottled health, you mean vinegar that's come out of a swamp. Came out of a ditch. I would vinegar be in a swamp, Mike. Come on. It's pretty gnarly. It's vinegar based, isn't it? Isn't it? I think it, no? I believe different variations use in apple cider vinegar as the base. Good luck. Have a bowl. More for you, because I won't be drinking any. Hey, Sienna, tell everybody about the chick that bit the guy's ear off. Oh, this happened in Minnesota. Yeah. Oh. And they were at a restaurant. Yeah. The Uptown Cafe in St. Paul, where a man made a comment about a woman sitting nearby him. There was four women sitting at another table, and he made a comment about what they were eating. Yeah. So what did one of the women do? 30-year-old Susan Mahuhi. Mahuhi. Mahuhi. Yeah. Allegedly walked over to the man. Walked over to the man. licked his face after he made a comment about her food, then took a bite out of his ear. Oh, that's so filthy. She bit so hard, part of his ear fell on the floor. Yeah. Dude. She picked up the part and put it back in her mouth. Crazy. Yes. It is believed that the woman was intoxicated at the time. Really? Yeah, she's been charged with third degree assault. Crazy. And the victim...
Has had to undergo surgery. He's had surgery and he needs additional surgery to correct his ear. And this woman is due back in court next month. Wow. Crazy. But it's not crazy enough that she just took a bite out of it. But then it fell on the ground and she put it back in her mouth. Did she salt and pepper it? That's so weird. Five second rule. Gross, dude. If the ear's only been on the floor for less than five seconds, it's okay. You're golden. You can still eat it. And I heard, too, that if you mix it with tofu, the tofu actually tastes like ear. Like ear. Takes on the flavor of the ear. Delicious. Jeez. So disgusting. You love me. 570-1949, beginning and end of every show. We take open phones. You can call about whatever you want. We're done again. That's right. It's flying by every day. It is. Hey, if you want to, man, they're going to be out there at Hooli's today. Hooli's. Hillary's there broadcasting in moments from Hooli's. That's right. Who's there? Hillary. Woodsy seriously goes, hey, why don't we go to Hooli's for lunch? And I'm like, Woods, you're going to creep her out like a creeper if you come walking in there. Hillary's going to be like, I'm trying to work. No, I don't want to talk to you about music. She's like, yeah, can you just write me an email about the music, you know?
I'll get you to mix tape later, pal. Yeah, make me another mix CD, bro. Hillary right now is standing there probably with the speakers on in the middle of Hoolies. Everyone's looking at her. I know. She's like, stop talking about me. Sorry, Hillary. She's like, leave me alone. Woods. She's going to come in here with a t-shirt with Woods picture on it with a circle and a red line through it. A wanted sign. That's right. All right. We got to get out of here. We do? Yeah, we do, pal. You sure? Yes. Come on. Hillary needs to do her job, Woods. Fine. That's the only way to get him to stop. Lovely and talented Hillary's up next. Ooh. Hi, Hill. See you again tomorrow morning at 6. Mike shows out late. Lincoln Financial Media Station. Celebrating the one day when everyone is a little Irish. St. Patrick's Day. And we're live at Hulies in Rancho San Diego. FM 94.9. It's about the music.