The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/18/10
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Is Sienna a redhead or auburn head? Listen and she’ll tell ya! The Mikey Show March madness burrito brackets gets underway as M1’s pick their horses for prizes. Men get “the snip” in March more than any other month in order to watch basketball which leads Frankie to complain about not getting enough alone-time with Woods. Seals at La Jolla great debate is next with the show having strong feelings on both sides. Woods on Woods (Tiger that is) is next. Turns out there are many things we pay too much money for. The 911 call of the ear biting broad is hilarious! Lauren admits she sucks her thumb but only “one suck every three months” prompts her boyfriend Matt to call in and dish. Next up is Mikey’s insanely funny story about being embarrassed when Jake’s therapist walks in on him in his own bedroom half nude. Poor Mikey, things went from bad to worse! Rebecca even calls in to confirm the story and suggest Mikey needs a “nude intervention”. M1 Julia is the girl who dented her dad’s BMW calls in with dad to break the news. Hey, a dent earns him a trip into the studio on Friday so it’s all good. Ozzy Osbourne does a mash-up with Dave Matthews about snorting ants! Turns out only vampires can experience true love and Woods wants the cast to help him move but surprisingly, everyone’s too busy. Is there an Oscar curse on female actors? Sandra Bullock is the latest victim. Larry King hits on Betty White, who is (as we discover) far too young for him. Frankie and MC Mel-Dog make a great couple but for some reason Frankie does not want to date her. Nerdy Habits closes out the show.
Bumper Music
1. The Twilight Singers – “Teenage Wristband”
2. Stone Temple Pilots – “Crackerman”
3. Soundgarden – “Pretty Noose”
4. Saints on Fire – “Get Up”
5. Ryan Adams – “To Be Young”
6. The Rolling Stones – “Can’t You Hear Me Knockin”
7. Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansen – “Relator”
8. Pearl Jam – “Got Some”
9. Nada Surf – “Blizzard of ’77”
10. Kings of Leon – “Molly’s Chambers”
11. Eric Clapton – “Hello Old Friend”
12. The Cult – “Hollow Man”
13. Cary Brothers – “Who You Are”
14. The Afghan Whigs – “My Enemy”
15. Rhett Miller – “Come Around”
16. Stone Temple Pilots – “Pruno”
March Madness bracketsvasectomy increaseFacebook vs Google trafficLa Jolla seal controversyRon Washington cocaine admissionTiger Woods return to Mastersear‑biting incidentthumb‑sucking habitnaked Mikey incidentmarchmadnessvasectomyfacebook
During the episode, Mikey, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna and Jay ran a March Madness bracket phone‑in game (P2) while Woodsy dropped the vasectomy fact (P11). The crew then debated Facebook’s rise over Google (P22), the La Jolla seal‑vs‑children’s pool controversy (P25), and Ron Washington’s cocaine admission (P31). Later they discussed Tiger Woods’ comeback (P35), the ear‑biting incident (P49), Lauren’s quarterly thumb‑sucking habit (P70), and Mikey’s awkward naked‑therapist encounter (P80).
What happened, in order
Bracket phone‑in prize
The hosts open the phone lines for listeners to pick a host "horse" to win CD six‑pack prizes based on whose March Madness bracket performs best.
Vasectomy fact
Woods shares a little‑known statistic that vasectomies increase during March Madness, joking that men get the procedure so they can watch basketball guilt‑free.
Facebook vs Google
The crew discusses how Facebook overtook Google as the most visited U.S. website and debates whether the social network might start charging users.
La Jolla seal debate
Mikey and the gang argue over the La Jolla children’s pool versus the seals that have taken it over, weighing child safety against animal habitat.
Ron Washington cocaine story
Mikey recounts the story of Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington admitting to a one‑time cocaine use before a random drug test.
Tiger Woods return
The show talks about Tiger Woods’ return to the Masters after his scandal, with Woodsy praising his golf prowess and the crew debating his impact on the sport.
Ear‑biting incident
Sienna tells the bizarre tale of a woman who licked a man’s face, bit off a chunk of his ear at a St. Paul restaurant, then tried the five‑second rule on the severed piece.
Lauren’s thumb‑sucking
Lauren reveals that she sucks her thumb about once a quarter, a habit she’s had since childhood and only recently admitted on air.
Mikey’s naked therapist moment
Mikey describes an embarrassing moment when his therapist walked in on him shirtless (and later naked) in his bedroom while he was on the phone with her.
People mentioned
MikeySteve WoodsLauren O'BrienSiennaJayMeganBarbecue GaryPeteToddMattRebeccaFrankieRon WashingtonTiger Woods
39,164 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. To The Mikey Show. Let's do this. It is Thursday. It's March 18th. Can you believe that? It happened quick. Can you believe it's the 34th show? Is it really? It is. Dude. Nice. Well done. Thank you for listening. Thank you for making The Mikey Show a very popular show here in San Diego. It's very, very cool. Very blessed for that. You can call us, 570-1949, or you can text us. Our text is 949mikey at gmail.com, and we're checking that all the time, so we would love to hear from you. You can call about any of the topics that we're talking about or anything you got. All kinds of stuff going on. First, let me introduce the show. I'm Mikey. That's my boy Woods right there.
And Woodsy is 33 or 34? 34. Unfortunately. 34 years old. Lauren O'Brien's our assistant producer. Hello. She's the blondie over there to the right. And the strawberry colored gal over here. This gorgeous one over here to my left. Her name is Sienna. She's 24. What was your hair color? Because Woodsy calls you red. It's auburn. It's auburn. Yeah, but it does have some blonde in there. Classic auburn. Auburn doesn't sound as cool as red. Yeah, but it's not red. She's got some blonde in there, too. Yeah, it's like blonde and brown with a hint of red. It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. Thank you. And Jay is our producer. Yeah. And he is 46 years of age and willing to take your phone calls right now at 570-1949 if you want to give us a call. March Madness begins today. That's right. I don't know anything about March Madness. Me neither. I don't know anything about college basketball, but I have filled out a bracket, as we all have. Yes, we have. We've all filled out brackets. And, you know, and second prize says steak knives. Exactly. What's first prize, Mike? 100 bucks. First prize is, no, no money involved. I think it's a high C. You get a big jug of high C.
So where'd that $100 go? Burritos. I don't even know what you're talking about, Woodsy. Don't even know what you're talking about. All I know is that I donated $20 to a worthy burrito fund. Breakfast fund. That's right. That should be where it goes. No one has a winner. It just buys us all breakfast for a while. That's right. There we go. That's right. That's no fun. You'll still be a winner, whoever wins. So let's do this. We will... give out some prizes of our own, right? We got CD six packs, right? We got a bunch of CD six packs. So why don't we do this? Why don't we open up the phone lines right now at 570-1949 and we will allow people to call in and pick a horse. You're going to pick myself or Woodsy or Sienna or Lauren or Jay and whoever does better in the brackets will win a prize for you. It's pretty easy the way that works.
And so you just call right now, 570-1949. And is that what the prize will be, Jay? CD six-packs? Sounds like a plan. All right, cool. So give us a call right now. And then after you pick a horse, either myself, Sienna, Woodsy, Lauren, or Jay, after you do that, then we're going to tell you what teams we pick to win the whole thing. We'll wait until after. Lauren and I are making fun of somebody on this show's bracket right now. Are you? Yep. Uh-oh. It's not mine. It's not yours. It's not mine either. I have a feeling it's Jay's. And it's not yours. It's Jay's. It's Jay's. I just took a quick... Why, does it look like a beautiful mind wrote it? Should we tell him yet? Should we tell him yet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait until everybody picks. We're making fun of it because it looks so good. That's right. How could he be so MacGruber-esque? That's not true. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. If it's not the X Games, you're out. So call us right now, 570-1949. I don't either. You watch sports. I watch football and baseball, and I like UFC and boxing.
I don't really know anything about the NBA or college basketball or really college football. Me neither, but I know. Here's the deal. This is what's funny, too. If you were to ask me, hey, Woodsy, name three college basketball players. You can't do it? I couldn't name one. I can't name one. I know. Not right. I know Luke Haringati. He plays for Notre Dame. Sounds like I needed to hit the dump button on that one. It's a mouthful. Never even heard of it. About all I know is that there's a school and it's named Sienna. Yes. That's right. And it's a beautiful, beautiful name. Yeah, as a matter of fact. Sienna. As a matter of fact, we're going to be playing some audio and a little bit of President Obama talking about his picks. And he even references Sienna. He's talking about me. Yeah, he's talking about. He's actually talking about Sienna. Who is that lovely girl on the radio in San Diego? That's right. We'll save the little clip of him mentioning you just for that purpose. Cool. All right. So we'll start taking your calls now. 570-1949. And this is M1 Megan. Megan, are you there? I'm here. Who would you like to take? Woodsy, please. You got him. You got Woodsy.
I wonder why. Maybe because he's the sports guy. That knows nothing about basketball, though. If Woodsy comes the closest, is that how it works, Woods? You've got to come the closest? Well, the good thing about our brackets, and obviously we didn't plan this, we have five different winners. They're completely different. They're completely different. So it's going to be, I mean, we're going to know. It'll be pretty clear-cut, I think. It's going to be pretty clear-cut. That's pretty amazing that we all chose a different winner. Well, what happens if none of our teams go to the championship? It's based on a point system. It's a point system. Okay. We even have a tiebreaker in place. Cool. Cool. It's fun. It is, man. I like filling out brackets. And for somebody that's not a big basketball fan, I'm actually looking forward to watching some games this year. I don't know why. I just am. I say that now. It's so fun. But we'll see. Because it's do or die. Lauren said in her recap email, filled out my brackets last night. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Are you going to give away my strategy? Okay. No. Okay. That's not your strategy. She said, filled out my brackets last night in about 30 seconds. Yep. Which is about 20 seconds longer than I took. How long did it take Todd? See, my husband did mine. Did he? He sat down. I was going to say. Because, come on now, I don't know anything. Well, okay, I knew it was Todd because he put Sienna Farrar.
On top, which is her married name. Right. So that she wouldn't be confused with any of the other Sienna's. Sienna's in the room. I think maybe he was just trying. I don't know. I don't think he's ever written Sienna Farrar and he had filled it out and I needed to put my name. M1P, are you there? Yep. Who would you like to pick? I'd like to pick Sienna, please. You've got Sienna. Is someone keeping track of this? Yeah, you are. Jay Bird? We need to get their numbers and stuff, right? Because we're going to need to call them later. Yes, we do. Jay. You can get my number. That's cool. Hey, hang on. I'll get your number. Woods has Megan. A married woman. Sienna has... Sienna has who? Pete. M1 Steve. Yes. Who would you like to select? I'm going to roll the dice and take Jay. You got it. That a boy. That's some big dice, pal. Hang on. I look like it's shaping up for me to get picked last again. Weird. Weird. M1 BBQ? Or M1 BBQ? Which would you prefer? Barbecue. Okay. Who would you like to pick? Oh, it's Barbecue Gary. Hey, what's going on, Mike? Dude. That's a friend of mine. Gary's a friend of mine. Gary makes the best barbecue in the land. Was even on a TV show on TLC. It's like a reality show about that. What was it called? Barbecue Pitmaster. Pitmaster. Huge. Yeah. Barbecue Gary. I'm on my way up to LA to be on LA Inc. today. There you go. You're going to be on LA Inc.?
Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Are you nervous? Not at all. You get a tattoo, right? Right. What are you going to get? A pig. A pig? Yeah. Like a barbecue pig. Yeah. There we go. On a spit? You going to get him on a spit? No, it's just going to be like a pig, like kind of a cartoon pig. Tramp stamp? No. Of course. Don't go for the small of the back, Gary. I recommend going against that. Gary has cooked for and taught how to barbecue. He teaches people how to barbecue. He's taught Dexter from The Offspring. He's cooked for Keanu Reeves. Juana Sykes. Juana Sykes. CBS. That's right. And he's really good, man. So who would you like to select, Gary? Who really got left? I think Lauren. Lauren is left. Yeah, Lauren's still on the board. Thank you, Gary. I'll have you know Gary and all the other people who didn't pick me. I'm a previous office pool winner. That's right. I am. You were not picked last. That honor goes to moi. The host of the show. M1 Air Dog. Yes, sir. You get me. Great. Never mind. Congratulations. Congratulations. Hang on the line.
I got a bad connection. Yep. Now we're going to tell you who we picked to win the whole thing. Do we want just winners or do we want the final four? Just winners. We got to go final four. All right. Let's hear it. Because of somebody in here's final four pick. Because of the Jaybird. All right. Maybe we'll all be wrong. Maybe we'll all be pleasantly surprised. We have got Mr. Jay in the final four. But who is this? UC Santa Barbara. Oh, wow. Okay. 15th seed. Don't know anything. No, that's weird. Vanderbilt. Okay. Who is the fourth seed. That's not a bad pick. Okay. He has Washington, who is the 11th seed in the East. And then he has Duke, which is number one, of course, in the South. For the final game, he has UC Santa Barbara. Versus Duke. Okay. He sees something in those UC Santa Barbara. Yeah, he does. He really, really does. He sees something in those. And who does he have winning the whole thing? Watch him win. Winning the whole thing would be the Dirty Dukes. Yeah. All right. That's a really good one, Jay. Dirty Blue Devils. Wow. That's what I do. I pick teams. All right. Write that down. Yeah. Okay. And next we have Mikey. Yeah. And in your final four.
You've got the Terps from Maryland. Xavier. Don't know what that means, any of us, but go ahead. Oh, I should go over the seeds here. No, you don't have to tell what's now. Xavier. Washington also from the East. Villanova from the South. Right. And in the final game, you have two East Coast teams, Maryland and Villanova, with Maryland, the champion. There you go. Congratulations to the guy that doesn't know anything. And they were the winners in 2003. Sure. Yeah. Nice, Mike. Don't know anything. And next we have Sienna Farrar. What do we got? Whoa. Final four. Wait a second. No, she's confused because Todd put in numbers. Ohio State. Oh, he did? He didn't write in the names. He wrote in the numbers because he said that when he writes out the names, it's bad luck. Weird. See how people have their little things that they do? Little peccadillos. Yeah. Okay, so Todd has Ohio State. Siena has. Siena. Siena. Siena. Ohio State in the Midwest. Syracuse in the West. Kentucky in the East. Yeah. And Baylor. There you go. Which I think is a good pick from the South. Okay. In the Final Four. And then in the final game, he has Ohio State versus Kentucky. Ohio State taking it all. Sorry. She has. Yes. Thank you. Thank you.
Okay, next we have Mr. Woodsy Boy. What do we got? We have Kansas from the Midwest, Syracuse from the West, Kentucky from the East, Duke from the South. All number ones, by the way. Yeah. Really, Woods? Really? You heard of gambling, my friend. I mean, come on. Nope. And then in the final game, he has, who are considered to be the two top dogs, Kansas versus Kentucky, with Kansas as the winner. Rock Chalk Jayhawk! That's right. made an interesting observation that Lauren says verse instead of verses, which is interesting. I've never heard it done that way, but you know what? To each their own. You know what? You say tomato, I say tomato. Hey, you say totally, I say totes. There you go. Totes, my goats. All right, and last but not least, we have the predicted winner, Lauren. Early favorite. Kansas, Midwest, Syracuse in the West. Kentucky in the east. Villanova in the south. And in the final game, we got the Orangemen, Syracuse versus Kentucky. Kentucky taking it all. Did you require the assistance of your man? Oh, heck no. Heck no, man. You know better. Yeah. I'm a woman I don't need. But I also have, not like Woods, I have three out of four in my final four are number one seeds, which I don't think has ever happened. Yeah.
Try four. I don't know anything. Statistically, that's never happened. Four number ones has never happened, but sometimes you've got to roll the dice. That's right. I'm not rolling anything. That's right. No UC. No UC Santa Barbara. No. By the way, did you guys know that during March Madness, this is a little-known fact, during March Madness, there are more vasectomies than usual. It's a very popular time for vasectomies. Why do you think? I have a theory. I'm sure it's right. My theory is, is that when you get a vasectomy, you need, this is how men think. Okay. How do I get my wife to let me watch a lot of basketball during March Madness? How about if I get a vasectomy and I have to sit down with peas on the boys, you know, and babe, what are you? I can't, I don't know what you, babe, come on. I can't. I'm in pain. I can't even walk. Will you bring me some nachos? Please bring me some nachos if you love me. Michael Esparza, you are 100% correct. 100% correct. That's what I meant. I have to say, man, guys, they're pretty brilliant. Extreme measures to watch sports.
At least 50% increase. At least. Holy cow. During March Madness for men to get beside the face. So I'll schedule mine for next October during the World Series. Yeah. So I can just sit and watch baseball. Yeah, sit and watch baseball. Still hurts. I know it's been a few days, but. Yeah. That's amazing. If they were doing research at my house, they'd be like, wow, the Food Network really spikes in the ratings in this one particular home during this period of time. So strange. Yeah, I've been thinking about doing that. I've been thinking about the snip, snip. Snip the rail. I'll go with you, pal. You will? Hold his hand. You mean you'll do it as well? No, no. That would be so weird if you guys both went. Are you Frankie? I'll go with you for moral support. Wouldn't that? Because I know you're scared. Yeah, I am. And I'm not opposed to it. I'm just, I'm going to pose this as a question just to play devil's advocate. But would that be weird in any way? No. Nope. Yes. No, it wouldn't. It's my boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So will we go into the room together? No. Okay. Are you checking out the goods? You'll come with me. Me and Frankie will go. You'll come with me. Yeah, I'll come with you. I'll go, dude. I know you will. Me and you wait, dude. We won't wait. We'll wait. You guys can console each other. Yeah, you know, like moral support of each other. Moral support. Maybe we'll bring our ladies, Frank. Oh, yeah, dude. I'll have to figure out which one to bring. There's a lot in Frankie's life. There's a lot in the pen right now. I slay them.
What? Wow. Really? You what? You said that very awkwardly, Frankie. What do you mean? I slay them. I love ladies. All of the ladies. So why do you always want to massage Woods? I don't always want to massage him. Tickle fight? I want to tickle fight him one time. Belly slap fight? Oh, yeah. He was getting mouthy on me, and I was like, yeah, you want to solve this with a tickle fight or what? Yeah. There's a tickle fight about it. Totally legit. That is. There's nothing weird about it. You guys always make it into something weird. Hey, Woods. Yo. I got an idea this weekend, man. What do you got? How about I give you a pink belly? What's a pink belly? You don't know what a pink belly is? Uh-uh. Is it like an ice cream? Show him, Frankie. Go over there, Frankie. No, no, no. What? I want to see it. Do it. Lift up your shirt. Pink belly. I pull up your polo. All right? I pull up your polo. I hold your arms down. You know, you're like my little brother. And then I slap your belly. No way. This sounds awful. Until it turns pink. I don't want a pink belly from you, Frank. You're never supposed to want one, man. It's just like, ha, ha, you know. I got you. Like a noogie. Yeah, like a noogie. Like, I got you. I'll pass. An Indian burn.
My wife's coming to town today anyway, so I don't think she'd appreciate you and I wrestling around, you giving me pink bellies. She'd love it. When's she leaving again, man? Tuesday, I think. Yes, we could be boys, dude. We could be boys again, you know? We don't really hang out that much now. Yeah, dude, you know the whole deal. Bros, man, we got to stick together. Yeah, let's do. Tuesday, dude. I'll call you. Barbecue. Barbecue. Wine. Call up Gary. Merlot. Baguette. Oh, yeah. Baguettes and a barbecue. That's interesting. Can I come? That sounds good. It's guy time, Sienna. All right? It's this time for two men. What if I bring food? I'll bring the Merlot. Can you drop it off there? All right. Fine. M1 Cheesmo. Yes, sir. What up? How's it going? Good morning. Good morning. How you doing? Yeah, I was telling Jay right now, too, that when I got my vasectomy done, it was done on the naval base. And when they hit me up to numb me up, I told them, I said, hey, I ain't numb yet. They're like, oh, it's okay, you'll get numb right now. I didn't get numb until they stitched me up. Oh, dude, come on. The only thing I advise you is when you tell them you ain't numb, you tell them to wait.
You say, yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on, hold on. I ain't numb. I get no food. Get your hands off my winker. Yeah. Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. That is so awkward. Awful. Mikey's not going now. Oh, dude, I didn't want to go before. I'm out now. Are you kidding me? I mean, that is some creepy, creepy, creepy, creepy. Woodsy is picking the music for us today. That's right. This band is called... Celine Dion. Teenage Wristband. That's the song. Twilight Singers is the band. Yeah, yeah. Twilight? The Twilight Singers. Twilight Singers. It has nothing to do... I love you, I've heard. ...with Twilight. It's a drinking singer. Teenage Wristband. Yeah, Teenage Wristband. Blah, blah. Hey, did you know that Google... So, Google basically is the most hit website in the world, okay? Gets hit more than any other website in the world. They've been dethroned. Wow. Well, the answer as to who dethroned them, will it surprise you? You'll find out. Why are the SEALs, there's still an issue with the SEALs in La Jolla? Like, when will it end? When will it end? It's a battle. Should they stay? Should they go? Should they stay? Should they go? Are they kicking them out of the kids' pool? We'll explain what the latest is with that. And Woods, he's got Woods on Sports. Hang on.
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And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. Lauren. I just don't like the way beef tastes at all. Zienna. I made reservations for us last night. And Jay. I'm so tired. On FM 94.9. You got Woodsy picking the music today. Good stuff, man. Stone Temple Pilots with a little cracker man. March Madness begins today. Stoked. So Google. Is the most visited website on planet Earth. Is that correct, Sienna? I mean, it's the most hit-up website ever, right? It was. It was. It was. Been dethroned. Until last week. Yep, the week that ended March 13th. Ended on the 13th. Can I guess? Of course. Yahoo. YouTube. No. YouTube. No. You guys, it's easy. So it is dirty. Not dirty. No. You would think that. Of course. No. Something easy. ESPN. Oh.
MikeyShow.com. MikeyShow.com. That's it. That's it. Finally. You guys, think of the website that you go to the most. Google. Google. No, you go to one more now. Wikipedia. Oh, Facebook. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes. Apparently, people want information from friends that they trust. Not anonymous sources. Probably me and Lauren. Yeah. Absolutely. The most visited U.S. website last week went to Facebook. Yeah, they got 7.7% of the U.S. web traffic and Google got 7.03. That is crazy. It's not true, is it, that Facebook might charge us to use it? That's not true, is it? They can't. That would be the worst move ever. It is. It's true. Do you know it's true? I mean, they can. I know they can. Well, they can, but I don't know that they will. Woods mentioned a few days ago that he had heard Facebook may be charging to be on the website now. And all of us are like, no. No. I'm in. You're not in. 100% I'm in. Why would you want to pay? I mean, it's $3 a month or something. We all do fine here. We don't pay enough for everything else we do. I got it.
You're good? I'll do the $3 for all of us. Yeah, you can pay for all of us. I'll pay the $15 a month. How come you're not jumping up and down saying, I don't want to pay for something I don't pay for now? Because I don't care. What if they start charging for napkins at the fast food places? Okay. Really? Yeah, whatever, dude. Life's too short. Wow. I love Facebook. It lets me keep in touch with, I have a lot of good friends in a lot of other cities and states. I could see their kids and, you know, talk to them and chat with them. Dude, it's worth every, I'd pay $15 a month. We need to stop him. From talking before the creators of Facebook to hear this little rant. I doubt I have that much influence. This is exactly what they don't want to hear. Well, everyone else is going to say no on it, so I hope they are listening. Thank you. Woodsy and Lauren came in first and second place in terms of listeners thinking that their brackets were good. Only Lauren was actually the one that this guy texted in, M1 Camo T, and said, Hey, listen, I like her brackets the best. and said that he likes Woodsy as well, but he will put money on Lawrence. Who do you have winning the championship, Lauren? Kentucky. Kentucky. Never heard of them. I think that I have them playing Ohio, right? Yeah. I think so. Is that right? Yeah. Ohio State. My husband did it. Your husband. Yeah. Yeah, he did it. We went to the Rose Bowl and we saw Ohio win, so. Ohio State. I know. That's different.
Oh, Ohio State. There you go. The Buckeyes, right? Yes, they'll freak out if you're like, oh, Ohio. They'll be like, no, we're not Ohio. We're Ohio State. Ohio State. Now, the Seal and La Jolla deal. Careful. I know it. It's a heated. Careful. This is a very, very, very heated. Here we go. Very, very heated debate, okay? The deal is, is that there was a children's pool built in La Jolla, okay? Right there at the ocean. Mm-hmm. And it's real cute. Yep. And you take your little kids down there and you put them in the real shallow water and they can sit there and play in the ocean and it's real cool. I grew up there, Mike. You did? I was a little child. I played there always and I was very safe and well protected because if you don't know, the children's pool had a huge wall built to block out the big waves so that you just get like little current and little waves coming in to where the kids play. Which you can't get. So it's a lot safer. You can't get anywhere else. It's cool. It's beautiful. That's really cool. But what happened is that the seals, they moved in on your business. They absolutely did. And they would bite kids, and it was awful. The seals moved in on her business? Yes. It was the children's pool. When they built that pool, wasn't that them moving in on the seals' business? No. It's not. Please, there's so many places the seals can be along the coastline. There's so many places that kids could swim. No, there's not. Not along that area. You got it on swimming pools in La Jolla?
Oh, really? So now you have to swim in a swimming pool? You can't go in the ocean. You can go in the ocean and your parents stand there with you. You need a big brick wall. Jay, Mr. Environmental, are going to boot the seals from their natural habitat for the La Jolla kids to go swimming. I'm doing it for the tourist business that it brings in. And then in addition to that, there are so many places along the coastline where the seals can park up on there. So you're saying if the seals come in and let's say you have a boat dock and they take over your boat dock, you're just going to let them have it up? Well, shoot, I don't have that boat dock anymore. That's a great point. Now, how do they take over your boat dock? They just go up on it. You can't, shoot, shoot, shoot. You can't get them out of there? That's what we're talking about doing at the beach. Get them back in the water. How are we going to get them back in? I think Woodsy makes a great point, though. Where are the seals going to go? That's where they live. They don't have condos and townhomes. And this is natural environment, and so... The seals live in the ocean. They live in the ocean. That makes sense, Woodsy. Stop it, Michael. I think he's right. But the ocean is vast, and there are many spots along the coastline that aren't built for kids to be able to play in the water. Woods, he's right. Jay, exactly. Like you just said, the ocean is vast. There's a lot of beach for little kids to run and play on. There's more water than land. There's more water than land. Woods, you're right, man, because there's so much of it. You don't have to block out a little 25-foot, square-foot area. Right.
Just for, that's ridiculous. Mikey, what are you trying to do? I'm trying to figure it out. You're siding with him. You're siding with us. I'm figuring it out. So I've been there. I've never been. Oh, yeah. Well, here's a guy who hadn't been there. He's talking. So there's 20 seals on the beach. So you're going to lock the whole beach down. So what they do is they string out rope around it to protect the seals, keep people from getting too close. They're going to do that for 20 seals, opposed to the hundreds of people that are looking for a safe place to bring their kids. And there's a lifeguard stand built right there. I think that's the hub lifeguard stand so they can protect your kids. It is. Woodsy, he's right. I haven't been there either. I haven't even seen it. What am I talking about? You put a net up. It's all good. How can I even make a comment? I haven't even been there. You've never been. I've never been either. But you know what I do know? That seals live in the ocean. That this is their natural habitat. That's where they live. It's their environment. A bunch of little kids want to go swimming. You're like, oh, let's boot these sweet little animals back into the ocean. That's ridiculous. What are we going to poke them with to get them back in the ocean? I don't know. Some kind of seal prod or something? That's terrible. Stop it. You just walk on and they go. Yeah.
Bring out some dogs. Exactly. Bring out some dogs. I'm not thinking. All I'm saying is open the beach up. Encourage the seals to leave. Just say, hey, move along, little doggy. And if you don't put the protective wall up around them, then they'll eventually leave. I mean, they pollute the water. How do they pollute the water? There's just such a concentration of them swimming around out there. Seal doo-doo, bro. The ocean is vast. The ocean is vast. Then move on down to some vastness is what I'm saying. Go swim in your mommy and daddy's swimming pool. Okay, homie. A pool and an ocean is two different things. That's right. Okay, what I want to say is that the lifeguard tower, Jay was right, it is the hub in La Jolla. Yeah. Winnensee Beach, the majority of beaches don't even have lifeguard stations. This has a tower directly overlooking this pool, which is a small area of water, so they could see the kids. Wouldn't you rather have a safe child swim than a seal lying on a beach farting? How hard is it to put up a freaking lifeguard stand there? Well, apparently it's hard because there's not very many lifeguard stands. This is a super nice one, concreted in. I put one up in an afternoon. And, Woods, you haven't seen it.
the beach. So I recommend you go down there and you see how many huge rocks there are arising out of the water that they can lie on top of and they have for hundreds of years. M1 Chris just texted and said, so how did kids ever survive in the ocean before the wall was built? Amazing. We must have been losing them left and right. How did seals ever survive? Kids floating out to sea. I've got one final point. Seals can traverse through any type of water coming to the shore. This is a protected cove for the kids. It doesn't have to be protected for the seals. They can go anywhere they want. So you can boot the fish out of there, too. No, I love a good Garibaldi. Lauren? I say that it's happened naturally. If they're going to leave, let that happen naturally. I'm from the East Coast. Every time I have visitors come out, I want to... I want to go see the seals. I want to go see the seals. It's bringing in tourism to La Jolla Cove, which is in turn helping San Diego's economy. I have a question. If it was originally built for kids. The ocean? No, the cove. Oh, the wall. The children's pool? The wall that they put into the ocean? Not the ocean, the cove. Oh, okay, got it. If that was originally built for kids and it was taken over by seals.
Why would the question ever be, we need to build another one for kids? We already did that. So if we want to build something else, we build another one for SEALs. But you're like thinking about trying to reason with a seal, right? Hey, Mr. Seal, did you know that in 1970 we built this wall for kids? Can you get your buddies and you guys just take it on down the beach? It's an animal. I hope somebody wrote that down because that is good. We will reason with them with that exact sentence. With that sentence. I like that. Hey, well, you got to grab a seat. Let's go get a Red Bull up at the 7-Eleven. Let's sit. We're going to talk it out. It's an animal. What are you going to do? You ever see a seal on a Red Bull, dude? It ain't pretty. It's like a meth head. I'm just telling you right now. Wouldn't you rather have a safe child than a lazy seal? Thank you. Or a lazy Susan. I'm always about safety. But if those dudes are moving in, then that's what they, as animals, and in their natural habitat, I think, feel comfortable doing. Well, the only reason they're moving in is because we put ropes up to protect, you know, secure the area they're in. People put ropes up to keep adults and children, human beings, out for the seals. That's why there's a problem.
The reason, let me just say the reason we're talking about this in the first place is because the city council committee met again yesterday and still cannot reach an agreement on the SEALs. I wonder why. It's been going on for years. It's been going on for years now. Because people have a heart. For children. For animals. For both. It's called the children's pool. For both. It's called the ocean. It's not called the SEAL pool. It's called the Pacific Ocean. It's called the children's ocean. If it was cows, we'd have no issue. Not true. I was really bummed yesterday. A story came out of my home state about a guy that I really like. His name is Ron Washington. He's the manager of the Texas Rangers. This is a huge story. It's a huge, huge deal. And it just really bummed me out because they call him Wash. I love Wash. He's just one of the good guys in baseball. Did a little cocaine last year in the middle of the season. I like how you put that, by the way. Did a little cocaine. Did a little cocaine. And they came out and...
They said, Ron, you have to do a random drug test. And he said, oh boy, I think I'm going to fail this random drug test. Did a little coke the other day. Well, he called himself out. He called the commissioner's office. He went through every step necessary. The GM, the president of the Rangers is Nolan Ryan. And Nolan said, well, I guess you keep your job because you went about everything the right way. I just hate it for him because I just know he's one of the good guys. The players absolutely love him. He's done a great job in Texas. I know he's really embarrassed. He spoke to the media yesterday. Cut one. I'm not here to make excuses. There are none. I'm not here for sympathy. That I would be asking too much. I fully understand that I disappointed a lot of people. I'm truly sorry for my careless, dangerous, and frankly stupid behavior. Last year. Love Wash, man. Such a good dude. Well, he's, you know. Cocaine stays in your system for, what, like 48 hours? Yeah. Which means...
He must have been doing not just a little bit. Sienna, that's such a great little point. 48 hours. Marijuana, that can stay in your system for up to two months if you do it one time. Really? Yeah, it depends on your body and how heavy you are. But cocaine, it can be out as soon as a day. The timing would have had to happen. That means that I still have marijuana in my system from when I was 13. Can't tell him a drug. No, it's like two months maximum. So here's the thing, and Sienna makes a great point. That's what I thought. I go, well. What are the odds that they came to him a day after he did a couple lines and they said, hey, we're going to give you a random drug test today? He probably had done it a few times. But here's what Ron says about that. Cut to mine. How and why did this happen? That's a question that I've had to face numerous sessions with counseling. I've learned about myself personally, and I recognize that this episode was an attempt to dodge maybe personal anxieties. personal issues that I needed to confront. That was the wrong way to do it. Nervous to hear it. It was self-serving, and believe me, not worth it. This is key. I know you will ask, and so is the answer. This was the one and only time that I used this drug. I don't know, pal. Talk about bad time. How can it be one and only if he already failed once and he was going to say he's going to fail again? No, no, no. This story just came out.
Like, from last year. This is a one-time deal. Allegedly. So, in other words, what Woodsy's saying is that when they came to him and said, you have to take a drug test, he came clean at that point. When they said, you've got to take a drug test, he said, hey, there's something I better tell you. I better tell you this now. And he was straight up. He did all the required classes. Yesterday, I did cocaine for the first time. Ever. What are the odds? Just happened to be yesterday. And how old is he? Oh, he's 57. No other major league manager has ever been known. It's been 57 years, but I finally decided that I wanted to kind of party. And so I had cocaine yesterday. I didn't know they tested the managers. Well, they do. And he is the only, no other major league manager has ever been, has ever tested positive for recreational drug use. What if it was? If that's true, I feel bad for him, though. If he's telling the truth. There's no way. I mean, I don't feel bad necessarily, but it's like. What if it was true? There's no way it's true. What if it was? But someone has to argue for him. What if it was? My dad's never done blow. That's with my dad going, you know where I can get a gram? You know what I mean? It doesn't make any sense. What if he was at a, who knows? What if the test wasn't so random and someone got tipped off? Tipped off, maybe. Could be. Well, we've been talking. We're going to follow this story because I'm fascinated. I love Wash. He's a great, great dude.
I've watched a lot of Ranger baseball. He's a good dude. So we've been talking all week about Tiger's return, Tiger Woods' return to the Masters. If you guys remember, when the whole scandal broke, he had one really nasty critic. And that critic's name was Jesper Parnevik. And Jesper is a professional golfer as well. And he was on the early show talking about his criticism of Tiger. Cut three. It's like family to us. And, you know, when someone spends two years. That's close to you. You know, she becomes dear to all of us here. And, you know, I have to admit I was a little bit shocked at the time because I've heard the rumors about Tiger for years before this happened. But I always told everyone they're not true. And, you know, he would never do anything ever to hurt dealing. So when the news came out, like I said, I was fairly. Ticked off, to say the least. And I know you're supposed to have the politically correct view and sugarcoat everything when you talk about Tiger Woods. But at the time, I just didn't think it was fair to Eileen to do that. That's pretty chilling stuff. That's tense, isn't it, dude? That's tense. That's cool. He's sticking up for his girl. Yeah, he introduced him. He introduced him. Now, Eileen was actually, I think, he and his wife's nanny for a while. And they said, meet Tiger Woods. And off they went.
He does realize, though, that Tiger Woods is probably good for the game of golf cut four. I mean, I think it's great, of course. He is the best player on the planet, maybe the best player ever. So he's coming back to the game. And the way after all this chaos and hoopla, you know, the attention is going to be so huge worldwide. So it's nothing but good for golf. He said he was the best player on the planet. Maybe the best player. And I was like, where are you going to go after the planet? Where are you going to go? Maybe in the universe. On Mars. On Pluto. Yes. Saturn. Yeah. That's awesome. He shot for the stars. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Where am I going to go? The planet. The neighborhood. Oh, my goodness. Welcome back. So check this out. We went to... Went to a movie last week. And I just wanted to get people's take on this. We went to the movie. And I got one of those little castle. What are they called? White castle. Little white castle. Sliders. Sliders. And. You had to do that. I got the white castle sliders. Are they the same ones as we have like in the vending machine here? The exact same ones. Oh, okay. Do you know how much they cost in the vending machine?
$1.50? $1.50. How are they even saying good in events? I don't know. It's refrigerated. It's refrigerated. Frozen. Frozen. Frozen. I've never seen that. $1.50. Okay. And we went to the movie and I got the same product and a small popcorn. Yeah. And Diet Coke. Small Diet Coke. It's about the size of... Sir, do you want to upgrade for 25 cents more? No, I'm fine. So if you were to get that, like, maybe at 7-Eleven, it would cost you five bucks? Five dollars or maybe less. Okay. I mean, actual cost of the products consumed, $2.50. Yeah. You know, in terms of what it costs to produce, all that. Right. $16.50. Stop. Ready for mine? No. Go ahead. Ready for mine? Go ahead. I got a pretzel. Yeah. For lunch as my... Entree. Yes. My dessert was popcorn and milk duds. Yeah. Together. And a large coat. $21. $21. No, man. No, that ain't right. That ain't right. It's such a monopoly. I could have gotten a 15-ounce, 16-ounce steak somewhere for $21. Yeah, and you can't bring your other stuff in. Like, I bought a delicious...
Cup of steaming hot Starbucks coffee to bring in. And they wouldn't let you. And they were like, no, you can't bring that in. You have to pay $8 for our old stale junk. Crap coffee. But we got it in anyway, didn't we? Yes, we did. Did you? I wrapped it up like it was a baby. My brother's that guy, too. You did? I wrapped it. My brother wraps. My brother brings a. My brother's this guy. My brother brings a backpack. And. To the movies. Yeah, into the movies. Brings it back to the movie. Yes, he does. My mom will bring like a suitcase of goodies with her. I've brought a Subway sandwich in before. Oh, yeah. Yum. What is, not just this, not just the movie stuff, but I want people to tell us what do we pay for that we're like, why is it this much money? I don't understand. 5701949. I have one of these naked juices. Three, the green machine. Yeah. It's like 350. I think that's because it doesn't have a bunch of artificial flavors. It does, but it's still a drink in my mind. And I'm like, why am I about to spend five bucks? I just take the grass clippings and put some sugar in it. I thought it was naked, though. No, there was probably several pieces of fruit and vegetable that went into that. Actually, there's a lot. There's apples, banana, kiwi, mango, pineapple, and then there's like boosts. And none of that other junk is naked. But it's like...
$3.50, it's a drink. Yeah, that is ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Drink. 5701-949-949-mikey at gmail.com. What do we pay for that we're like, why does it cost this much money? How about in a restaurant? Avocado? No. Wine. There's a bottle. Jamie and I like to drink red wine. When we drink red wine, there's a pinot that we like. It's called La Crema. Oh, yeah. And you buy a bottle of La Crema for $20, $22 in the deal. At the liquor store, whatever. You go to the restaurant, it's a $70, $80 bottle of wine. Four times marked up. That's insane. Drives me. Batty. The corking fee? Yeah. Like, are you kidding me? I have to pay you $15 to cork the bottle of wine? Don't cork you, dude. Well, if there weren't a corking fee, then people would bring bottles and bottles of wine in, and then the restaurant would lose money, and the server would waste their time. Oh, my goodness. It should be a corking fee. Me, pal, cork you. Please. But it's like maybe $3 or something, like $15 for a corking fee. That's ridiculous. It's to get you to buy their wine.
Oh, you're going to save money doing the corking fee, let me tell you. M1 Rob? Yes. What is it? We spend a whole lot of money to borrow money. Oh, yeah. For sure. You know? So I'm about to be, I'm hoping to be a first-time homebuyer sometime soon. Yeah. Good luck. And thank you. And if I can get approved for, you know, let's say $300,000, then that's like a monthly payment of like $2,000 is what the guy was telling me. Right. And that's like for a 30-year loan. And so I did the quick math. That's $720,000. It's sickening. It is sickening. I'm going to pay $420,000 to borrow $300,000. It's amazing. And that's a pretty good, like, home loans are pretty good rates. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a low rate. That is so weird. Gosh, do you think about that? So weird. Woodsy's picking the music today, and it's a little Soundgarden, Pretty News. I got a pretty interesting cut of Obama talking about Tiger Woods. Did you hear about the... Hear about the guy that got his ear bitten off? Wow. The restaurant? Tyson? It was not. It was not. I wasn't even there, man. So we will do that next. This is the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Kings of Leon. The July 9th Cricket Wireless Amphitheater. Presented by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. Kings of Leon. The Critics Rave. With accolades from around the globe.
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which ALG picked for having the highest resale value in its class. And if you think about it, high resale value means high quality, the kind that lasts a long time, even though these really special lease deals definitely won't. The point is, this really big thing sales event is a great time to lease an Accord or a Civic, Insight, Fit, CR-V, Pilot Odyssey, or Ridgeline for that matter. Just go see your Honda dealer today. 2010 Accord, winner of the ALG Residual Value Award midsize car segment. Kurt, you're a moodle. A moodle? A man poodle. Girls, they want to feed you, they want to cuddle you, but no girl wants to do the moodle. Rolling Stone Raves, She's Out of My League, is a date movie must. Come on in for a dip! I don't even have a bathing suit. Underwear is fine. Underwear would be fine, if I were wearing any. And critics declare, it's the funniest comedy since The Hangover. I think that Debbie here is one wicked hot box. Thanks, baby. And this chick of yours makes her look like a pig. What?! She's out of my league. Ready to under 17. Not a minute without parent. Now playing to see more. Go to she's out of my league.com. After reading, after discussing, after searching, you realize that at this school, you don't memorize the answers to questions. You ask them. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu.
This report brought to you by Lowe's. Brought to you by Lowe's for all your home improvement needs. Experience Lowe's. Let's build something together. Sunny Heights Road at East Mission Road. There's an accident here. A car ran into the guardrail. Possibly some injuries. They do have an ambulance on the scene. Also, the 8 westbound Marina Boulevard car fire. It's an older car over on that right shoulder. Flames have been put out, but everybody's outside the car and they're waiting on a tow truck right now. Coronado Bridge westbound, you're going to find a delay between the 5 and the Toll Plaza just a little slow this morning. This report brought to you by Turtle Wax. Make sure your car's ready for spring. For a limited time, find great deals on select Turtle Wax brand products at your favorite retailer. Plus, you'll get awesome car care tips at TurtleWax.com. Turtle Wax, making life shine. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Financial media station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. What stuff? Do we pay way too much for? M1 Carpenter, are you there? Yeah, I am. What do we pay too much for? Cell phone bills, for sure. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Good one. I have AT&T, and we got the iPhones, which are amazing, but to pay $180 a month and have dropped calls every day, it's not worth it. Oh, dude. I agree with that 100%. We pay so much for that cell phone stuff. Have you ever tried to decipher your cell phone bill? It's impossible.
You're like, what? Usage charges. I don't. It's ridiculous. Tell me. Tell me. It's ridiculous. State taxes. Federal taxes. Local taxes. Taxes on small companies. I was a small company last year, and it just ate me alive, the taxes. It's ridiculous. Woodsy, this is your friend's band, isn't it? This is my boy. Bobby McIntyre is a really dear friend of mine, and this is his new band, Saints on Fire. So good. You like it, don't you? So good. It's good. Yeah, dude. I do. I do, too. A lot. I'm very proud of him, man. He's such a talented musician. Best drummer I've ever seen live, ever. It's good. Yep. It's really good. Let's see. So, Obama. Obama was commenting on Tiger Woods. He was letting people know, you know, because it's asked. Now, what I thought was kind of funny is this, that they position it as...
If it was somebody that was writing with an email about it, which is a move that I've done before, by the way, if there's ever a question that is a little bit uncomfortable, you just say, hey, we got an email about this. You're talking to somebody. Oh, we got an email about this. There we go. One of the emailers has to ask you, what do you think about Tiger returning to the Masters? You know, I think that Tiger has acknowledged. that he betrayed his family. And that's a personal issue that he's got to work out. I hope they've worked it out. I'm sure he's going to still be a terrific golfer. I think it's so fascinating. And, you know, I think that it's relevant. But I think it's fascinating that we want to know what our president thinks about the Tiger Woods thing. And it's relevant because he's our president. For sure. And if your president is, you know, a role model or whatever, you want to know what he thinks.
Do you want to know who your president thinks is going to win at all in March Madness? Who? Wait. No, don't say because I think we have it. No, we didn't. We have it. There's audio. Oh, you have audio? I think we have audio. Thanks for telling the kid, dude. I think I did. I don't think you did. I heard it. I don't think you did. Do we have it? Maybe we don't. Maybe we don't. I think it exists. It is. But we can also just tell it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Who does he say? Well. The guy knows his stuff. Last year he picked North Carolina to win. They won. He's got Kansas. You know who else has Kansas? Who? The kid has Kansas. You do? What kid? This kid right here. Oh, that kid. I just want to say. You know that. How many teams win the Super Bowl twice? Obama probably isn't going to be right two years in a row. Is that who won? Is that who won last time? Kansas? North Carolina. No, North Carolina, but his picks. Oh, I see what you're saying. He got lucky one year. Yeah. I think he's good. He's a hooper.
There you go. Dude can ball. Yeah. Hey, Sienna, tell everybody about the guy that got his ear bitten off. Oh, yes. It's a lovely man. Yeah. Minnesota man. He was out, you know, having a nice little dinner. Yeah. And he was eating at the Uptowner Cafe in St. Paul. Oh, lovely place. When a table of four women were sitting next to him. And he said, made a comment about something that they were eating. One of the women did not like the comment. She stood up, intoxicated, may I add. walked over to the man, licked his face, and then bit a chunk of his ear off. Perfectly normal. If that's not bad enough, the chunk that she bit off of his ear fell on the floor. How awful is that word, chunk? Chunk. Chunk's bad. It's bad. It fell on the floor, so what does she do? She goes by the five-second rule. Picks it up. And puts it back in her mouth. No way. She's an animal. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. No. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. I wonder what that 911 call would have sounded like. 911, what's your emergency? Oh, yeah, I'm calling to lodge a complaint. Don't you know? Okay, what's wrong, sir? Someone bit my ear off. Excuse me? Someone bit your ear off? Yes, someone bit my ear off. Can you hear me okay, sir?
I barely, because she bit my ear off, but I'm at the restaurant right now. Okay, and is that a woman in the background? Yeah, she's making fun of me, and she's saying to me that, who am I calling my mommy, and then she's pretending I'm a baby. You know, is this the woman that bit your ear? Hello, baby. She's calling me a baby. Sir, is there blood? Are you hurt? Can you hear this? Yeah, she bit my ear off, so... Can you hear me now? Okay, okay, well, I... Typical, you know, thing that would happen when your ear's bitten off, so... Can you hear me now? Now, can you tell me your location, sir? She's pretending to be the Verizon guy, and she's... Shut up. She's saying, can you hear me now? Okay, can I talk to her briefly, please? Yeah, no problem. Thank you. She wants to talk to you. Okay. Ew. Hello, man. Yeah? What is your name? What is your name? My name is Bethany. Oh, hey, Bethany. This guy's an idiot. Okay, ma'am, is it true that you bit off his ear? Can you hear me now? I can hear you, ma'am. I can hear you. I'll do it again. Uh-oh. Okay, well, ma'am, can you tell me your location? I'm located in some stupid foo-foo restaurant. I don't even know.
Friend picked it out. Is there blood all around? Is the man's ear really off of his head? Yeah, but he'll be okay. He's just so old, baby. Cry, baby, cry. Why did you feel the need to bite off of his ear? Because he said something stupid like, hey, that looks good. When my food went by, I was like, mind your business, idiot. Can you hear me now? Okay, ma'am, I really need to know your first and your last name, please. My first name is Jane. Jane. And my last name is Doe. Okay, yeah. Ma'am, here's Big Baby Guy. Okay. Hello. Sir? Sir? Yes, hello. Are you in pain, sir? Oh, yeah, my ear was bitten off. Well, the ambulance is on the way. Can you please tell me your exact location? Well, I don't know necessarily the address here, but it's Le Mandre. It's a French restaurant, and it's delicious. Okay, all right. Well, we have dispatch on the way. And what is your first and last name, please? My first name is...
My name is Idiot. My first name is not Idiot. Yeah, it's not Idiot. Okay. Despite what... I can hear her. Yes. My name is John... John... Bauman. Okay. And your age? My age is 41. Okay. Okay. Well, help is on the way. Dispatch is there. Sir, please just try to stay as far away from this woman as possible so that no other injuries occur. She's sitting on my lap. Okay, well, you may want to get away from her so she doesn't bite off the other ear. Okay, that sounds like a fair idea. Thank you so much. You're welcome. I hope everything's okay. Dispatch is on the way. Everything's fine. Go Packers. Bye-bye now. Bye. Interesting that he said go Packers being that he's from Minnesota. Wow. Maybe he's a transplant. Maybe he's a transplant. That was brilliant. Well, we do have an update on the man. We do. Yeah, he's undergone surgery. However, he needs additional surgery to correct his hearing in that ear. Yeah. Pretty unbelievable. The woman has also been charged with third-degree assault. Yeah. How about attempted murder? Bite my ear off. So weird. Mouthful of teeth, dude. Yeah, what did Tyson, what was his punishment on that?
I don't know. I was nowhere near Minneapolis or St. Paul that day. I didn't do any of it. I was nowhere near that place. I was playing with my pigeons. Yeah, I was playing with my pigeons and I was punching my tigers in their testicles. I punched them in the balls. That's what I do. When they get unruly on me, I will punch them in it. How's that work out for you? It works out pretty good. I bit my pigeon's head off last night. I didn't mean to. I was kissing it and loving it and rubbing it. You're supposed to love all of your hundreds of pigeons. I can't control myself sometimes. Plus, sometimes I'm hungry. Sometimes I get hungry. Haven't you ever been playing with your 4,000 pigeons before? And decided to bite one of the heads off? I can't say I have. Lauren, I have a loft filled with pigeons. Numerous lofts. A poor loft filled with pigeons. I want to go find a place and hide. Can I ask you guys a question? Well, Jay specifically, because Jay's got kids. Jay, you ever have to take anything away from your kids? Oh my gosh. Where do you begin? Well, do you know what I mean by that? Because we got...
This email here and it says, hey, Mikey, at what age should a kid no longer be able to use a pacifier? I told a grouchy old man last week who informed me that his son was too big for that nasty thing that he was wrong. Fact is, my son will not be too big for his. binky until I decide he is too big. I will not decide that until he proves to be over the need. He didn't start taking one until I weaned him from the breast. Fact is, it's up to the parents to decide for their kid things like this. It's very inappropriate for other people to speak for their opinions to a child that is not their own. Have you had to take anything away from your boys? That's M1 binky. Of course. You gotta take it away. You gotta take stuff away from them. Does Jake still use his binky? No. Oh, wait. Uh-oh. Still have it? Jake. It's only three, though. Jake. Yeah. That's pretty much cut off age. Yeah. What? Do you guys know who, besides Woodsy, does anyone know who Jared Allen is? No. Subway guy?
No. Very close. Very close. Almost identical twins. Okay. Jared Allen is a defensive tackle for the Minnesota Vikings. Oh, okay. Probably one of the best football players, if not the best defensive lineman in football, covered in tats. Huge. Huge. To this day. Oh. I really don't know where this is going, I'm afraid. Woodsy, Google his image just so they can see what he looks like. You've got to see Jared Allen. Please tell me he doesn't still have a binky. Not only does he still have his binky. Stop! Yeah. It's a blanket. How is this a blanket? It's a blanket. But it's a baby. It's like torn tattered. It's a little blanket. It's a tiny blanket for a child that he's had since he was a little baby. Not only does he have it, but during training camp, these guys have to room together in a dormitory. Oh, my goodness. In a dormitory. They got to stay together in a dormitory. Not only does he have it, but when he's asked about it, he's not joking around. He tells the dudes that, like, that's not a thing that you can joke about. I will kill you. Anyone of you messing with my blankies? You don't even know. You don't even know what I'm going to do. So don't even think. He gets real upset about it. He doesn't, he's not kidding. Like, he tells, like, if guys make a, you know, joke, which you would think that'd be something, ah, I'll take a look. Where's your big game? Right. He's like, he goes, hey, dude, dude, dude.
Don't talk about it. I'm either kidding. It's not funny, and I don't want to talk about it. I've had to just always a baby. Yeah. That's the deal. What are you thinking? He's Eminem. He is. 570-1949 is our number. I have my baby. What is the stuff that you got? You have a child from your childhood? Well, I still have it. I don't sleep with it anymore, but I gave it to Todd's daughter. You did? She sleeps with it. How about you, Lauren? I don't have anything like that anymore, but my dad, he's a real man's man. He was a little upset about something kind of unrelated. And my older brother used to walk around with a Mickey doll. He really liked Mickey. Yeah. Mickey. Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse. Yeah. Hi, everybody. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like two years old and he had his little Mickey doll. And my dad said, that's it. You're too old for dolls. Popped off Mickey's head. That had to traumatize. That had to traumatize. How long has your dad been an executioner? Yeah, no kidding. Oh, my gosh. Oh, man. Popped off his head. That had to have affected him. He's not... He'll... To this day, he'll be like...
pop off a head. Todd had an Ernie, a little Ernie doll, and he got in trouble, and his mom threw it away. I got him an Ernie one. When he told me that story, I got him a new one. He goes... Okay, cool. I'm 35. No, he was like, oh, you listen to the story. That's cute. And he just stuck it in the closet. That's where it lives. Jake has, we got him this thing called Barry. Okay. It's the size of like a washcloth. Okay. And it looks like a little miniature blanket. Okay. And it's got on the top of it where you would, like if you were to squeeze one of the corners, there's a little bear head. Oh, I love those. They're so cute. Yeah. They have a rattle inside. Yeah. No, yeah, maybe. Maybe we got the ghetto version. Maybe we got the ghetto version. But it's called, Rebecca very creatively named it Barry. That was the name of my bear. Really? Not a little blanket bear, but just my white, I still have him at my parents' house. Barry. You got the generic one called Larry. Yeah, it's Larry. It's Larry, yeah. The berries are the good ones. You got a Larry, just like your mother used to do to you when you were a little kid. Exactly. I didn't have OP, I had oops. Oops, yeah. Anyway.
So Rebecca one time lost Barry and he flipped. So now what she does is she has a stash of them just in case. He found the stash. Oh, no. And so now he sleeps with four berries. And it has to be like, dude, I mean, if there's if there's a berry missing. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude. My friend was the same. I didn't find the berry stash. Her mom made her a little miniature pillow, and she called it Pippo. To this day, she sleeps with five Pippos. How old is she? 25. 25. Pippo number one, Pippo number two. And when she goes out of town, she doesn't bring Pippo number one because that's the original. That's when Pippo number like three and four come into play. Replacement. Yeah. I think that it's probably more of a female thing that females probably hold on to their, you know. berries and their, you know, their... Jared Allen. Jared Allen. Well, that's an example of a dude that did it. 570-1949-949mikey at gmail.com If you had to take something away from your kid or if you have something now that you still carry around and you're, you know, a 35-year-old man or woman. Time to cut the cord. Time to cut the cord. Grow up Peter Pan. What about the guy who sent the email in? Yeah, he said...
Do you think he should get rid of the pacifier or do you think you should let him keep it? Kid is... How old did he say? I don't think he said. I think he said he'll decide when he's ready. Yeah, he didn't say. I agree with him because he said, you know, other people should mind their own business. He's my kid. I make the rules. I agree with that. But I also think, okay, your kid shouldn't just decide. Like, he'll hold on to that binky for as long as he can. Sure. Play some NFL defensively. Exactly. If you keep your eyes on your own paper, though, that other guy. Don't worry about what my kid does. Is that the deal? Yeah, that's definitely the deal. Absolutely. Woodsy says if people should mind their own business, Woodsy says, just watch your own paper. Yeah, keep your eyes on what's on your paper. You've got plenty to worry about. I think it's fine with like a blanket or a stuffed animal, but like a pacifier, when the kid gets teeth. And all of a sudden, the teeth, you've seen the kids with the teeth that come out like this because they've been chewing on it for too long. They've got the big overbite kind of thing happening. You've waited too long. Well, Jay, I used to go to all these raves in Chicago. I always had a pacifier. My teeth looked fine. Yeah, dude, you also had a necklace made out of candy. That's also from... That is wood chewing on a pacifier. That'll still do it on pens.
And straws. And straws. And anything. And anything. Wires. Expo marker as we speak. I need that. Oh, sorry. Here, I'll chew on this metal pen. It's true. He will. It's awful. I've gotten permission. Have you? I got permission. Are you kidding? No. What? To tell this story. Who's it about? It's on now. Tell them the next break. Tell them the next break. Is it about Woods? No. You're going to want to stay tuned for this one. Is it about your family? It's about me. It's about Mike. Who'd you give permission from? I had to ask if we wouldn't be offending anybody by telling the story. But remember how we were talking about, a while back, we were talking about our most embarrassing things? Yep. And we were talking about... I think something just made the top five yesterday. Wait, was it the most embarrassing things that you did when you were dating someone or when you were breaking up? Embarrassing things that have happened to you in your lifetime. Okay. I'm 39. One of them happened yesterday. Really? And I was lucky enough to be on the phone during it. Remember when I didn't call you back? As it happened live. I was there and it happened live. I knew something was happening. Oh, yeah. Something was happening. Because I was supposed to... Because Lauren goes...
I said to Lauren, we were talking about something back and forth. Over email. Over email. And I was like, this is taking longer to do through email than it will on the phone. So I just said, call me. And so before she called me, Woodsy called me. And I'm talking to Woods. And Lauren is calling in on the other line. And as this is all going down, this thing happens. And Woods was on the phone. a lot of commotion in the background. I was blown away. Were you at home? Yes. What could have happened? Oh, something. One, two, one. Tell you this. Toilet paper? It's bad. It's so bad. And then, and then, and then, and then. And then. If it couldn't get bad enough. It got worse. It got worse. And something else happened like an hour later. Amazing. Totally unrelated, totally different. It was with me again. What in the world? It was amazing. I'm guessing so many different scenarios right now. Listen, I'll give you 80 million guesses. You won't get it. And you could also call about this topic of the stuff that you have as a full-grown adult. Woodsy's picking the music. That's why you're hearing Ryan Adams right now. This is To Be Young, Ryan Adams. Tell you these stories next. And they're doozies. You don't want to miss it.
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This report is brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Wawanisa Insurance, better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto, home, or your condo. Call them 877-WA-WANESA or go to WawanisaUS.com. Rate shopping, it can pay off. Heading on the 805 southbound at the 5, looks like the north end. We had that luggage rack in the number one lane. They finally cleared that, so you should be able to get through without a problem. Sunny Heights Road at East Mission Road, an accident. We have a van that went into a guardrail. They do have tow trucks on the scene and National City. You're going to find some delays here on the 805 northbound between Plaza Boulevard and El Cajon Boulevard. Kind of slow right now in the mid-20s. This report brought to you by Tri-City Medical Center. Tri-City Medical Center, they offer a variety of community education classes. smoking cessation to CPR. Visit the new tricitymed.org and you can learn more. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird with AdroitSolar.com and the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Thursday morning coming to you right off the beach here. Looking at some pretty fun waves right now as we've got that west-northwesterly swell on a decrease, touch of northwest still out there, slowly capering off.
and some signs of a new southwest. That means a little bit more of a cross-up direction now. Beach break's looking pretty fun. Running in a waist-chest, shoulder-high zone, still some head-eye waves, maybe a rare plus for standout spots. As the tide fills in, look for the beaches to improve. Reef breaks out some waves as well. A little less consistent than it has been, and the higher tide will slow them down. Right now, mostly clear skies. Looks like another beautiful day. However, they are calling for a weather pattern to settle in, so you might want to take advantage of the clean conditions right now. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out Water South Coast Surf Shubs 5 locations. Check out those locations for news on the ground fest that we're having at Pacific Beach Drive this Saturday. Free contest for kids. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate, hot or cold. It's the drink of champions. This surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. More of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Yesterday, it was one of those days where I was like, so what is it exactly you want me to learn today, Lord? I'm dying to know. There's a lot happening in there. It was one of those days where I was embarrassed. And I'll tell you all about it here in just a minute. M1 Melissa? Yes. Tell me what your 34-year-old brother still does.
Sexist thumb. No way. Say what? Oh, yeah, you heard right. He sucks his thumb. Like when he's out shopping or when he's lying on the couch? Lying on the couch. He does realize he's 34 years old and probably too old to be sucking his thumb in public. But sometimes he does it in the car. It's actually my boyfriend, not my brother. It's your boyfriend? I was just going to ask if he was married. Melissa, it's your boyfriend? It's my boyfriend, yeah. He's done it since he was a kid. Yeah, he never broke the habit. Okay, can I ask you this? Wow. Yeah. How long have you been dating? Four years. At what point in dating did he decide that it was okay for you to know? I don't think he ever really made that decision. I caught him. No, you did not. Once he starts getting comfortable. Yeah, he was watching TV. Oh, my gosh. And that seems to be a favorite time to suck his thumb is just watching TV. Right hand or left hand? Either. He's not picky. He's not picky. Of course not. Of course not. What a foolish question. Is his thumb all chap and, like, puckered? No. In fact, the worst that he has, he has a little callus on each thumb from his bottom teeth rubbing on the top of his thumb. How are his teeth?
His teeth are actually surprisingly beautiful. They don't stick out? No, they don't stick out. I could never figure that one out. You know, Mike, most guys get caught doing something else after a couple months of dating. This guy got caught sucking his thumb. That's insane. That's pretty weird. I've never honestly had that before. Did he look like the cat that ate the canary when you caught him? Was he like sick to his stomach? He did. What did you say? What did you say? Did you say something or were you silent? I was... It's kind of endearing. Is it? Yeah, a little bit. So if your boyfriend, Matt, if you found out that he sucked his thumb, you wouldn't have a... No, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Liar. Liar. I would not. You wouldn't have an itty-bitty problem with that? No, I wouldn't. I think, like, if he was a whiny sort of, well, I wouldn't date him in the first place, but if he was a whiny guy overall and he sucked his thumb, I'd be like, get. I'm a little surprised. I am super surprised. But, no, but if he was, like, manly everywhere else. Take a look at what, sucking his thumb. That would be okay with him. Well, I don't think anyone sucks their thumb like that.
Woods is sucking so hard that his cheeks are like flailing in and out. I'm like a blowfish. I like the nose hook. And I also like the expressionless face as he's doing it. No, it's more like this. Oh, wow. That's bashful. That's a bashful. And now what do I do with this? I have an antibacterial hand gel. Hideous. I would never deal with that. You would not. No. M1, Brian. Where's your mommy? Seriously. Need a binky? God. Need to be burped? Brian, are you there? Yeah, I'm there. Go ahead. Yeah, I just heard you guys talk on the radio about thumb sucking, and my 24-year-old girlfriend does that, too. Oh. Well, that's okay. That's fine. It's almost worse. That's fine. No, it's not. Yeah, that's sexy, actually. Really? That's gross. I'm 24 years old. You saying if I sat here and was sucking my thumb, you'd be like, that's cool. I'm joking. That would be so gross. How old are you? Brian, how old are you? I'm 30. What did you say? How did you find out? Yeah. I just kind of walked in. She just did it out of habit. She does it unconsciously sometimes, and I caught her. Yeah, it's cute. It is? Yeah. Do you suck your thumb? Lauren?
Sometimes when I'm like taking a nap or something like that. Every once in a great one. This is why she was not judging. This is why she was not judging. Okay. This is why she was not judging. Okay. Once like every three months. Take the needle off the record. That just happened. That just happened on live radio. That just happened on live radio. I don't know what's happening. What's happening right now? She's saying our girl Lauren O'Brien. Our girl Lauren. The most well put together. I mean she is. Demure. Demure. Demure. Like very classy. Classy. Hello. Hi. How are you? Is telling us that occasionally, which means. Once a quarter. Which means daily. Yeah, once a quarter. Quarterly. Quarterly. Quarterly. Quarterly. You know, when the new budgets come out. Does Matt know this? The end of the fiscal year. Yeah, the fiscal year. What does Matt think of it? I don't know if he knows or not. Oh, he knows. He knows now. Yeah, he knows now. It's just one of those things where I'll wake up and I'll go, oh, huh. How'd that get there, little guy? Wow. You're telling me. That he doesn't know. He doesn't know. Dude, how does he not know? I don't know. Let's call him. Let's call him. Of course he does. Of course, can we call him? Yes. Get him on the horn. Let's see if he's awake. Wake him up. Of course. Man, I'm getting a thumb in my mouth. I'm sucking my thumb. She sucks her thumb. Okay, now. Nobody needs to find Lauren sucking her thumb. In the fetal position. In the fetal position. A picture of.
Lauren's sucking her thumb. It's not going to happen. You can't Photoshop that kind of stuff. Absolutely you can. Have you not seen those? I love that you're admitting this on the radio to us. It's not a big deal. We're proud of you. It's a huge deal. You're 29 years old. I'm a 29-year-old woman. I suck my thumb. I suck my thumb quarterly. I don't do it on the reg. Really? That she's aware of. Sometimes I put a diaper on when I get lazy and I'll just poo in my bed. I'm lazy. It's not a big deal. Todd, when I eat a little too much, he has to burp me. Yeah, definitely. Sometimes I get a little stain on his work shirt. Exactly. Of course. Come here, honey. Yesterday, we were at Cheesecake Factory, and Sienna went... I got a little spit out. And I went, oh, sorry, guys. Here, sorry, I got to do this with Sienna for a minute. Hang on. I'm so happy right now.
I was like, really? Okay, call Matt. The curtain is... Okay. So he's up. He's answering me. Okay, well... Lauren sucks her thumb. He just admitted he wasn't listening. Jay, get the... Uh-oh. That's better. That's better. That's better. Don't say anything, Lauren. Don't say anything. Get Jay to call him. Get Jay to call him. Give him the number. All right. You probably know it off the top of your head, don't you? I was like, okay, so he wasn't listening. Lauren, don't send the text. I don't know if I get his number. Okay. Whoa, that's a whole other problem. Take the... You should bring the phone. Just don't text him what we're talking about. Don't send the text. Don't even say anything right now because 100% Matt is now listening. Don't say anything. Another word. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. It ain't quarterly. She does it. She's got to do it more. Every day. Every day. Matt, I just want to tell you, brace yourself, pal. Brace yourself. Woods, there's not a chance in the world that he doesn't know. He does know. Of course. I mean, she was too embarrassed to say. Well, maybe he doesn't. There's not a chance in the world. Maybe he's a sound sleeper. Please. Okay. Not a chance in the world. Is he on the line? We're getting him on the line. Oh, this is... I have never been more excited. Oh, my gosh. My heart is... All right, all right. I don't even know why. I don't care. Matt? Yeah. What up, dog? Hi, Matt. Hey, what's up, y'all? Of course you know this. Okay. Don't set him up. Maybe he doesn't. Tell us the truth, Matt. You have to put on the truth hat.
Does he have permission to tell the truth? Oh, yeah. He always wears the truth hat. All right. How much does Lauren suck her thumb? In what situation? I guess it kind of depends. How many times? Wait, what? Tell us what it depends on. What do you know? Tell us what it depends on. Let's see. She... I don't know. Gosh, this is embarrassing. It's okay. You're in a safe place. You're in the trust tree. You're in the trust tree. I thought we were in the trust tree. We're in the trust tree. We're in the trust tree with the nest. You're okay. You're okay. Lauren is kind of like a baby in the morning time. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. She needs a lot of... Well, actually, since she's been getting on that show, she's been a lot better. But on like a weekend type of situation, she is just like... Needs to be babied very, very, very much. So she will suck her thumb more on the weekends than she will during the week? Yeah, absolutely. Honey, get up. Get up. It's like you have to just be very, very delicate. You know, you don't want to wake her up too early. You don't want to wake her up too late. Wow. So you've seen her suck her thumb, though. Are we talking physically sucking her thumb? Yes. Physically sucking her thumb. Oh.
I got this all wrong. No. He's an artist. Oh, I love that. Even more what you've been saying. No, there's more gold. How often does Lauren physically suck her thumb? You know, I actually don't. That's not a common occurrence. Have you ever seen her? Have you ever seen her suck her thumb? I'm sure that I have, yeah, but I can't. It's not something that happens often enough to where I'm like, she's a thumb sucker. See, but girls notice these things a lot. Like, if it was in her sleep, if a guy did it in his sleep, girls would notice. But guys, they're not as, like, absurd. I don't know. I would notice. I would notice. Good job, Matt. But that's really awesome. That's really awesome. So now you know, Matt. Matt, now you know. And now I know what. Now you know to take a picture of it the next time you see it. Take a picture. Take a picture. Take a picture. That's right. It's done. It's done. Thank you. Maybe video. Thank you, Matt. Bye, babe. Oh, you hung up. I thought we said bye. He said bye. I thought we said bye. You didn't do anything wrong. You cut off his butt. Hey, Mikey, I just wanted to tell you about it. Stop it. But wait, I just found a picture. That's cool, dude.
Jeremy, did you know that she sucks her thumb? No. Yeah. She does. She sucks her thumb. Like three times a year. Three times, yes. Now it's three times a year. Now she knows that. I can picture her on the week. I can picture Matt. And all of us, and if you guys have ever heard Matt, literally one of the sweetest, kindest, nicest guys you've ever met. Yeah. Can you picture him on a Saturday morning going, pacing, going, Shoot. When do I wake her up, dude? I've got no idea. Lauren's laying there just... Hey, babe. She's a baby in the morning. Babe, babe, babe. I do. Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe. We've got to get up. The surf is looking good. We're going to get up. Get away! Babe, I'm sorry. I have to take your thumb away. I have to take your thumb away. Like, Matt's the sweetest guy. There's Lauren just looking at him with... Demonize. It's not time yet, babe. Get out. In the morning now that you wake up really early, when your alarm goes off, do you freak out and he wakes up because you're so mad? No, I just like, I have to go on autopilot. If I had all snooze, I'd be done for. But on the weekends, I take my liege and I'm just like, oh. Lauren O'Brien is a 29-year-old adult female stand-up comedian. And she is our assistant producer.
And she's also a young, attractive gal that's been in a Barack Obama promotional video. Yes. And quarterly sucks her thumb. And yet another piece of the wall crumbles. That's right. That's right. I love it so much. So you want to know about my day? Yes. Just more embarrassment to come. I love it. So yesterday, my wife. wanted to introduce me to a couple of Jake's new therapists. Okay? And so I shook their hands in the living room. Hello. How do you do? Very nice to meet you. And then I went upstairs, okay, where I retired to my boudoir. Did you have a...
Bidet in there? I think I know what's going to happen. Probably. I don't think you do. Does it evolve? Don't say. Let me lead you down this path. Yeah, this. I will not answer. She's writing it down. I will not answer you. I will not answer you. Sienna, don't do it. Don't answer, Woodsy. No. Do not answer. No. I was wrong. No. I don't think I'm wrong. That's not it? That's not it. It's way better. Okay. So I have a convergence of phone calls coming through. Okay? Yeah. I'm answering phone calls and going back and forth with emails. And as usual, I'm lying in bed in the middle of the afternoon with no shirt on. Okay? Okay. Get a load of that. We're in a safe place. We're going back and forth. Lauren and I are going back and forth on emails. I said, just call me. So before she calls, Woods calls. And I'm talking to Woods. I had an idea that I wanted to run up the flagpole. Right. So he's asking me about his idea. And as he's asking me about the idea, Lauren calls. And just then, as I'm there,
Okay. Shirtless on your bed. Shirtless. Laptop on his lap. Laptop on my lap. The bub runs into the room, which is normal. I heard it. My son, my three-year-old son comes in. And I go, hey, bub. Daddy, daddy. Hey, bub. And his new 25-year-old young therapist walks in right after him. Oh, gosh. And her and I make eye contact. Oh, my God. As I'm. There with my man boobs. Man boobs. This is not that bad. Dude. Sienna. Mikey just gave me a look. Can I just tell you. Are you nuts? Okay. I got the blankets on me. I have the blankets over me. Okay. Just waste. And she goes. Were you naked? Yes.
But I had the covers on me. You had boxers on me. You had boxers on me. She comes in and we make eye contact. What are you doing naked when there's people in your house? My door is closed. It's my own bedroom in my own home. It doesn't matter. In my own home. It doesn't matter. You only get naked when there's no strangers in your house. What? So we make... But I'm, there's nothing, all that's going on is topless. Right, okay. And I say topless because I basically got the top of a woman. She walks in and she, we make eye contact and she goes, oh, sorry. What'd she look like? Young, attractive woman. 20, probably 25 years. Are you like, Rebecca? I'm like, how could you let this happen? No! And I, best part? I'm on the phone with him the whole time. He's on the phone with me. I want to die. I'm like, no. You know when you laughed so hard? That didn't happen in my life right now. You're at my abs. I was like this. Stop. What did you say?
What did I say to her? No, I didn't say anything. I'm like, my jaw drops open. I'm like, this is not happening right now in my life. This isn't happening in my life. This isn't happening. I pictured little Mikey sitting there doing his little work. And she walks in and he's like, oh, God. And she looks at him and she's like, oh, sorry. Oh, man. 100% more embarrassing for her. Oh, absolutely. Both of us. Both of us. It was awful for both of us. Did you want to be like, wait, wait. Please don't go. We have a... Oh my God, I love this. I was in the pool. I was in the pool. I was in the pool. I was in the shower. Nobody do a picture of Mikey shirtless on his laptop. Shut up, shut up, shut up. With the sheets just barely covering his jug with a laptop. Were you like... Mikey. I just... Here's the best part. I go, Mikey, here's what you should have done. When she walked in, you should have pulled the sheet just over to the bottom of your chin and go...
Just right here, like, oh, God, I'm so sorry. Let me out. Let me out of here. Are you sure the blankets were over and it wasn't just the laptop? Yeah, they were over me, but it didn't matter. The fact that I was viewed with no shirt on. In your bed. Yeah. In your bed. It's very private. Listen, were you nude? I'm not ready for prime time. Were you nude? You were not nude. He was naked, he said. You weren't nude. He had boxers on. He was naked. It doesn't matter. Mikey, you are not naked. He was commando. He was commando. He's wearing his birthday suit. Where the hell do you think you live? In a house, a private home. That's what I just said. I live in a home. I live in a private house with a door closed. You got three kids running around. You got your wife. I don't have three kids running around. I got one kid running around. The other two are seven months old. They can't speak English. They sit in a high chair. In a high chair. I'm living in my own home. There were people. I have blankets. You could be nude in your bathroom with the door lock. That's fine. Not in the bed. You said it's normal for Jake to come running in. I've got blankets on. I've got blankets on. I'm speechless now. There's not a problem. What if Jake had a splinter and he's like, Dad, you think you can splinter out? You're like, get out of my robot.
Let me ask you this. What? What? Your thought process after you shook their hands was, yes, now I get to go into my birthday suit. Yeah. I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest with you. I'll be honest with you. I went like this. When we made our content, this is what went on in my head. Really? Really? You're really in here? Really? But, I mean, after you shook their hand, you thought it was okay to just prance on up the stairs. Well, first of all, I didn't prance. He skipped. You sashayed up the stairs. I did what I do every day. Every day. You get naked every day? Maybe put the AC on in your house, dude. Is it that hot? Every time I'm on the phone with Mikey from now on in your home. Yeah, you're nude. I'm not nude every time. Hey, Woods, I want to talk about the new Hoyle bit. Yeah, I'm naked. I'm naked. It's fine. Never again will I call. Everything we do. It's untext from now on. Text message only. You hear a flush in the background? Yeah. What are you doing? You're making it so much worse than it is. Of course we are. So much worse than it is. You've got the cops coming over to my house. Unbelievable. Yeah. So how do you feel, pal? How do I feel? Oh, stop it. Give me a break. Stop it with that.
I feel much better now. Thanks for asking. Oh, that's a poor girl. That poor, poor woman. Stop saying that. Stop saying that. Stop saying that. Nikki, you can't just get naked. In my own home? Wait until everybody leaves. In my own home? When you know that there's guests in the house? You guys, I'm not walking around my house. I'm in my bedroom. Nude. I'm in my bed with blankets pulled up and a laptop over a comforter. Nude. In my bedroom. Nude. I would never. With a door closed. Nude. Not even if Jenna, the eight-year-old, my stepdaughter had a friend over, would I just be naked in my bed? Never. What about when your parents come over for a meal? Are you like, well, it's four o'clock. I'm going up to take my piece out and get in bed. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. did. It's my own home. Well, of course it's your home. And I'm not walking around my home. Nobody's doubting that you own a home. It has a bedroom in it. Nobody's doubting that fact. It's the decisions you made in your own home. In my own bedroom? I made poor choices in my own bedroom. He's going to shower with a bathing suit on from now on. I promise you. I'll be a never nude. I'll be wearing jean shorts.
Standing in the shower. I'll be like, well, you know, I mean, what am I? He's going to be in a cream colored unitard. Can we go around the room and everyone say if they would be naked if there were people downstairs? Sienna? Absolutely not. No. Zero percent. Lauren? Never. Jay? Hundred percent. I'll get naked right now. I knew he would say that. Can we get my wife on the phone? Please. Because I want to ask her if that's a poor choice. Yes. I'm like, it's my house. If I walked in and Todd was just naked when like... Well, first of all, I wasn't nude. I wasn't like when the person came in and all I was was I had no shirt on. I wasn't Kate Winslet in Titanic with Leo DiCaprio painting a picture of me. Nobody should put Mikey's face on Kate Winslet in Titanic. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. What's the thing called? The diamond, Hope Diamond? Yeah. With the Hope Diamond around his neck. The diamond of the ocean. Around his piece. Around his piece. Please tell me she's on the phone. Oh, gosh. Please. Oh, gosh. Wait, so you only had your shirt off when she came in? I thought you said you're naked. Oh, yes. Here's Mikey. It's so cold. Come in. Shut up. Yeah, come in. Yes. Come on in. Oh, my goodness. Don't mind me.
Don't mind me. I'm just working here on my laptop. Nice and cozy. In the nude. Shut up. In the nude. I was in my own bedroom. Nude. It doesn't matter. There's people in your house. If it's just your family, I would understand. What if there was an accident downstairs and you had to run downstairs really fast? I'm coming. I'm coming. Let me tell you what. I'll wear an Adidas tracksuit from now on then, just in case. No, I... How about just some man panties, dude? That'd be fine. With your shirt off, that's not a big deal. But the fact that you were naked. Yes. I didn't even know that part. So Woods is on the phone and they leave. And Mikey's. And I go, I go, Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods. And he's like, what? I go. And I'm, like, trying to tell him what happened. Oh, I love it. So when did I call in all of this? You called during, and I'm like, I have to call you back. I have to call you back. Yeah. We're getting Rebecca on the line, right? I heard Jake's voice in the background. Oh, she's on the line. We got her? We'll get her when we come back, I guess. Yeah, we got to do it when we come back, because we got to. All right, so we'll talk to my wife, and I want to see what she. Oh, I love it. Oh, my God. That was the best break. Lauren sucks her thumb, and Mikey's naked in bed. Unbelievable. Hi, we're children.
Good evening. Woodsy's picking the music today. It's Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson. We'll be right back. Part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. So many good shows coming to town, so little time. All right, Bad Religion. They'll kick off a three-night stand at the House of Blues this Friday night. All three shows are all ages. Devendra Benhart plays Belly Up March 25th, and Air plays 4th and Beef March 27th. A few good shows in May just announced. Tuesday, May 4th, The Hold Steady will play an FM 94.9 about the music show at the Belly Up.
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5 northbound between Balboa Avenue, Claremont Mesa Boulevard. Pretty much stop and go traffic. This report also brought to you by AutoZone. Keep your car looking good inside and out this spring. Now at AutoZone. Save $5 when you buy any two Migers Gold Classic Car Care products. Get in the zone. AutoZone. I'm Stacey Cohen. FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Pearl Jam has got some. Woodsy's picking the music today. Can you tell? It's good. I like it. This is Pearl here? Is it a new one? Yep. Talk to the latest. If you're just tuning in. I feel bad for you. Stop it. I was just telling the story. All right. I love it so much. I was telling the story. I was done, Woodsy. Oh, dude. You cannot do that so you would have a mouthful of coke, dude.
I'd say to talk myself through it. I was in my own bedroom yesterday. Stop it. It's not. I was in my own bedroom and I was, you know. Nude. And my son, who's three, came into the room and all that was exposed on me was the fact that I wasn't wearing a shirt. So you were topless. And my son ran in. Hey, daddy. Hey, bub. And who moseyed on in after him? His new therapist came in right behind him. 25, attractive. Man? No. No, it was a woman. Oh, a woman. No. Yeah. It's a gal. Honey. Yeah. Hi, babe. Hi. Is it? So, babe, is it weird that I'm, that I...
don't have clothes on in our own home? Yes. It is. Yes, yes, yes. It is. Because company's over? Yeah. Just when company's over or not when company's over? Even if I'm in our own room. I feel that if it's nighttime and you're sleeping, then anything goes. But beyond that, I feel that you should have clothes on. Okay, so you mean at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, that therapist didn't expect a naked Mexican to be sitting there? He did not. And what he didn't tell you about this story is that I came in because I was looking for something. And apparently it was right after it happened that I didn't see. And he kind of gives me the hand like, what? And I'm thinking to myself, well, if you had clothes on, that's a problem. Exactly. I love it so much. And I'm thinking to myself, well. I'm in my own home. I don't live in a commune. We don't grow our own carrots downstairs. Don't you? Actually, we do grow our own carrots. No, I mean, I'm thinking to myself, I'm in my room. I've got the door closed. This is a private place. Three o'clock in the afternoon, dude.
Well, what time does it turn into, you know? 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. There you go, dude. Okay, ask and answer. When the kids are asleep. Okay, then. I will, for now on, wear a full business suit to bed. With a tie. We're not asking you to do that, Mike. It's a three-piece. Yeah, I'll wear a, you know, double-breasted suit. Nobody make a picture of Mikey in a three-piece suit laying on his bed working on his laptop, please. Okay, listen, I now know that, you know, a lot of these things, I don't know what you would call these things. Peccadillo. Social, you know, miscues. I have some social miscues. Now I know this. A lot of times people tell me, they just say, hey, Mike, you know, that's a thing. You're not supposed to pick your nose, you know, and I go, okay, sorry, didn't know. You know, and so now. So you're going to, you're not going to do that anymore? No.
No, I mean, honestly, I didn't know that it wasn't okay to be, you know, without clothes in your own bedroom, in your own home. You didn't? No, I didn't know that. Didn't know that. Rebecca. I love Rebecca. Have you noticed him doing this before? Oh, he does it every day. But when you walk in in the middle, every time I'm on the phone with you, Maya. Yeah, he's naked, Rebecca. Every time we talk to him, he's nude prancing around his room. No, I'm not prancing anywhere. And I don't... All right. But Rebecca... Hey, Woods, I got a great idea for a show. While I'm jogging in place. Really. While I'm jogging in place. But Rebecca, you never said, babe, put on some clothes. No, I haven't. She's always wanted to. Because what would I say, babe? I'm in my room. This is my own home. I never said it, but this is allowing an opportunity for open discussion. And I think it's good. We've had a little intervention here. Yeah, we have. Rebecca seems like a little bit of a live and let live kind of person. Yeah, definitely. She is. She's very laid back. You do your thing.
Lesson learned. You know, lesson learned. Yeah, yeah. Lesson definitely learned. Not uncomfortable. It is a little unusual. Not uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable later, by the way, at dinner when the therapist left. Oh, yeah. Not uncomfortable. Oh, my gosh. Not uncomfortable. I didn't even think of that. Then I'm fully clothed downstairs having dinner, and she's leaving. Did you go, hey. Mikey, this is so weird. Hold on. What do you got? Do you know who the new therapist doesn't see nude? You. Because you have clothes on. Because you have clothes on. Exactly. Because you have clothes on. But Mikey, okay. So I'm thinking in here, I'm thinking in here like, okay, you're done for the night. Maybe you're just going to hang out. Maybe Rebecca's going to bring you some dinner upstairs. It kind of was. No. No, it wasn't. Because then you put clothes on and went downstairs for dinner. I'm not going to wear my jeans. Dude, here's the deal. I get home from work. I don't have anything to do. I go home. Clothes come off. I'm in my boxers. Loungers. But you know who else is there? Who? Nobody. Okay. You know who's not there? Who? Therapists. Okay, fine. I get up then. Then if I want to go get something, you know what I do? I put my clothes on. And then I leave. Then I come home. I take my clothes off. You know who's there? Who? Nobody. You know who's not there? Who? Therapists. Okay, fine. Now, lesson learned.
Now I know. In your own room, you should be able to do whatever you want. Thank you, Jay. With the door locked. Thank you. With the door locked. No, with the door closed. There's no company there. Can I now tell you the next embarrassing thing to happen? There's more? Yeah, Rebecca is going to find this out right now. Oh, yeah. Oh, she doesn't know this yet? No. Well, no, I don't think so. I mean, no, she doesn't. No. So. Rebecca, how do you feel right now? I'm very nervous. Very, very nervous. So, Rebecca, Rebecca texts me from downstairs, and she says, can you show me how to work the air conditioner? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Go ahead. Why didn't Rebecca call up to you? She doesn't want to disturb him. He's naked. I wouldn't. He's nude. Because he's in the room with the door closed, nude. Three kids hanging off of me. Okay, okay. Hi, Jake. He flushed the toilet. He wants to flush the toilet. He's a good boy. I love Jakey. Tell him Uncle Steve says hi. I will. Okay, so she texts me and says, can you show me how to work the air conditioner? Now, I'm kind of like, man, I wanted to show her that.
a while ago and she didn't want to learn and now okay fine so i begin the process of putting on my business putting your robes on okay so i so i so i come downstairs and i say all right let me show you and she's got the kids and she's like really right now you're gonna show me how to do this right now and i go I wanted to show you before, but, you know. And she's like, uh-huh, really, really? And I go, okay, sorry, I'll do this. So I do the air conditioner, right? And I go back upstairs. And then I think to myself. Wait, why didn't she want to show you now? Because she had all the kids. Okay, so she's like, just do it? Just do it. And the therapist was here, and we were getting ready to have a meeting. She was getting ready for her peep show. Whatever. Listen, and Jake was kind of on the verge of meltdown. And all I wanted was the air on because it was like 80 degrees. And he wanted to, like, give me a lesson on how to work this. Well, Rebecca, some people in your house were very comfortable because they were nude. So it didn't really bother them. Yeah, just turn it on, Mike. So anyway, so I do. And I go upstairs, right? And I'm like, and I consider it. And I'm like, I was rude. You know, I should have been nicer. So I manned up.
And I was like, so I text her. I texted, let me read you. I love the text. Let me read you what the text says. I texted her. Oh, that's so embarrassing right now. Hang on, hang on. I've just gotten unclothed again, so don't bother me. I texted her. He's scrolling through his phone right now trying to find it. No, you got it. See, it's very important. I texted her. Oh, well, she texted me and said. Dinner is ready. And so I texted her back and said, thanks, babe. I'm sorry for being rude to you. Okay? And then I came down and I had dinner. And I had to see the therapist and I was mortified. And, you know, Rebecca, I'm thinking in my head, okay, and Rebecca's got my text of me saying sorry and blah, blah, blah. Everybody's cool. And dinner was very pleasant. Where'd you guys order in from last night?
Claim jumper. That's delicious. Every night. So then I go upstairs after dinner to go to bed, and I turn my cell phone on, and there's a text from Woods, and it says, really, dude? Really? And I'm like, what did I do? What did I say? What did I do? And I turn my phone on, and I go to his text, and I texted Woods, thanks, babe, and I'm sorry for being rude to you. And my heart drops into my gut. And I go, really? I was in my own home. I'm in my own home. It's an attack. It's supposed to be a safe event. Oh, dude, I saw it. All right. I started dying laughing. Laying in my bed. Not nude. Thanks, babe. Which is weird. And I have clothes on. Reading the sex and I go, this piece of gold. Thank you very much.
Thanks, babe. And I'm sorry for being rude. And I'm sorry. Such a sweet guy, dude. And then he sent it to the worst person he can send it to. Steve Woods. Yeah, Steve Woods. Did he roast him? Oh, he's being roast. Yeah, babe, he texts me back. And his text says. Really? Well, first, the text starts out with two question marks. And then it says, really, dude, period. So it's two question marks, then really, dude, period, and then really, question mark. Really, dude? Really? And I'm like, I'm looking at it, and I'm like, no. What did I do? No, I didn't do that. I didn't just text Woods, thanks, babe. I'm sorry for being rude to you. Here are the things that I'm embarrassed about. The fact that you're married to me. Okay, that we've discovered that Mike spends most of the time at home naked and dead. Yes. Now the world knows that. That's embarrassing. No. It's embarrassing that the world knows that we order takeout every single night. You have two twins. Twins. You have three kids. That's the Grand Central. I would, too. It's also embarrassing that everybody knows now that we communicate in our home.
You guys are busy. That is humiliating. No! I'm so sorry. You know what's not humiliating, Rebecca? You didn't get that apology text, and Mike just said he had a very enjoyable dinner. It was very pleasant. You let it roll off your back. Rebecca is an angel. Yes, she is. She's an angel. Yeah, she'd have to be. Hey, Rebecca, this is Jay. We communicate the same way in our house, Tex, because it's just too far from one spot to another just so you can say, love you. Well, with the kids and stuff, I'm like, what am I supposed to put on the baby Bjorn? Get the other kid. Is the baby Bjorn for Mikey? You know, come all the way upstairs to say, hey, hon, come downstairs for dinner, you know? Sometimes she calls. You need an intercom. My parents had to intercom, and you just push the button, and they're located all over the house. How about a dumbwaiter?
You just get in it, pull yourself up to the top, open the thing, and then Mikey can get in. You guys can ride down together. I was going to say, what do you mean to put the food in there to deliver up to you? Mikey, maybe she can just slide the tray under the door from now on. Yeah, exactly. How about that? I'll be like Dr. Lecter in my house. Exactly. Just slide it through. Just slide it to the partition, please, darling. Rebecca, I really am working. If you just leave the tray outside the door, I'll leave it there when I'm done. I can't come out. I'm nude. I'll text you when I'm done, and you come get it. Yes, I can't come out right now because I'm retired to my book. So maybe perhaps a little bit later I'll come out. I'd like my lamb chops rare, if you don't mind. Rebecca, it's usually woods. me that gets roasted on this show, but I'm really, Mikey's very roasty today. I'm ready. Yes, he is. Oh, yesterday was so embarrassing for me in my life. It was like at the end of the night, I thought, that's what, like, today's one of the most embarrassing days of my life. And I know I didn't make it any better with my text back. I could have been like, hey, bro, I think you sent this to Rebecca. Yeah, he could have laughed and been like, sorry, dude, wrong text. No, he texted, really, dude?
Really? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. See, Matt has a text message thing where sometimes if he'll start to type a word, it'll finish it for him. So he calls his friends babe and like, yeah, all the, and he'll even write like, I love you by accident because he's meaning to, you know, he sends me so many texts so they just finish it for, it finishes it for him and he sends it sometimes. To his friends. Yeah, but he doesn't. Don't worry about it, Mike. Is that what they do? Forget about it. Yeah, forget about it. It's fine. You're hanging out nude in your house, sending texts. It's not a big deal. Stop it. Hon, we can take solace in the fact that quarterly, our girl Lauren sucks her thumb. Yes. So, you know, quarterly. I heard that. Just quarterly. Just quarterly. Only quarterly. When the earnings statement come out, I decide to give a little sex. Yeah, whoa. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's... Okay, stop. Let's everybody stop with that, and now we'll do this. Love you, honey. I love you. Love you, too. Bye, guys. Bye. Honey, I'll text you that I love you later, too. In the nude. By you, I mean Woods. Yes, and by you, honey, I mean Woods. My darling, Woodsy. This is not a surf, and Woodsy's picking the music. Blizzard of 77 is a song. Oh, that was really...
Embarrassing. We got a lot of stuff coming up. Oil's here. Damn right I'm here, man. I've been sitting here with my arms crossed, you telling stories about being naked. Do you suck your thumb oil? No, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't believe that. Well, you don't have to. I don't. So we'll do all that coming up. I know I have. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9.
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This report is brought to you by Turtle Wax. Make sure your car's ready for spring. For a limited time, find great deals on select Turtle Wax brand products at your favorite retailer. Plus, get awesome car care tips at TurtleWax.com. Turtle Wax, making life shine. Heading on the 5 northbound, the ramp to Miramar Road, we've got a white cart stuck in the number one lane. Watch out for it. Also, an accident here on the 905 eastbound after the 8053 cars. Everybody's on the right shoulder, but a bunch of glass in the middle of lanes. This report also brought to you by Carfax. Don't waste your cash on a clunk. or ask your dealer for a free Carfax vehicle history report. Choose a great used car. Just say, show me the Carfax, or you can go to Carfax.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Uh, I can't do anything. I can't do anything here at all. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Get Lauren. I will take like a half an hour to get out of bed and be like, no. Zienna. Ooh, tag along. And Jay. Of course, I have an outrageous story on FM 94.9. Just another girl that wants to rule any time or place. And when she gets into your head, you know she's there to stay. Did you just say the Kings of Leon? Yeah, Kings of Leon. Kings of Leon, whatever. We have a salesperson here named Adele. He likes to say Adele. Adele. I'm from Texas. I know, but I... What does that mean? I know. I don't know. I've been there too. We pronounce things differently. Adele? Insurance, we say. We don't say insurance. We say insurance.
This is Kings of Leon. Kings of Leon. Are you sure it's not I? You say we say. No, it's we. We're our own country, if you guys could know. That is a truth. But I'm a Californian now, and I've always wanted to be a Californian. And I am a Californian. I'm loving that, actually. I'm a San Diegan. Yeah, you are. To the bone. I'm a San Diegan to the bone. Now, that was funny. Now, that's funny. I am. Y'all, why don't y'all do more long distance dedications? What do you mean? What do you mean? Like Casey Kasem or Rick Dees or? Delilah. Delilah. I don't know what you mean, dude. I actually hired Delilah. Oh, yeah. Oh, did you? Yep. WWBT. Where was that? Frisco, Texas. Oh, yeah. That's right. No kidding. I know Frisco. That's right. It's a small little tiny market. It wasn't as big as it is now. You're kidding me. Back then.
Was there seven listeners? 425. Wow. Wow. In the Metro at the time. Frisco Metro? Mm-hmm. That's amazing. How come y'all don't do those long-distance dedications? I don't even know how to do them. I think I kind of know what you mean, but I've never done one. It's good for radio. It's good for ratings. That's not really our format here. Yeah, we're like a comedy show. Is that right? You stand up over there and say it's not really. So I got 55 years of experience. Well, there's a time and place. You got 55 minutes. You're going to tell me. I hired Booger and Twitch. You understand that? But did they do long distance dedications? They did by the end of their tenure. They were there for 10 years? I said they did that at the end of their tenure. At the end of their 10 years, they did long distance romance. Long distance what? Dedication? Can I show y'all how it's good? Yeah. I don't have any clue what the hell you're talking about, as usual. I don't have any idea what the hoil you're talking about. Oh, Woods. I'm going to show you how to hoil your craft. Please do. All right? What you got to do is you got to put the record on. You got to find the right record. See, people love romance. Always have, always will. Okay? People love romance. They love relationships.
And they love to be able to reach out to their loved ones through song. That's all true. That's true. So I'm going to show you how to do this. FM 94.9. My name is Hoyle. And you are listening to a song going out to April this morning. This one's called Beth. It's FM 94.9. Now, you notice how I hit the post there? Boy, you nailed the post. I nailed the post. The post is where they start to sing. And you started on time, so it was cool. I started on time. That was really impressive. See, the thing that you got to get is you got to begin as soon as the song starts. What I mean by that is... FM 94.9. This is Kiss. Beth to Cynthia from John. He just wanted to let you know that he loves you very much. This is Hoyle. In the nighttime on FM 94.9. You hit the most. I did, but I walked on it just a tiny bit. Just a tiny bit. I'll show y'all more about it later. Dude, that's... I mean, I wish we did stuff like that, because I think I'd be pretty good at it. Solid, Hoyle. You were good at it. I want to hear Wood's track. Let me try it? Here. It's harder than you think. You need to be able to see when it hits, though. I know. I know that song well enough to know. Okay. You got to practice it. I'll practice it. Let's go.
FM 94.9. No. No. Really? No. Just like that? No. No. Try it again. FM 94.9. This is... Dude, it sounded perfect. Can you make your voice a little bit deeper? Sure. FM 94.9. No, no, no. Woods. Woods. Woods. Yeah. No. You said deeper. That was deeper. That was scary. Try it again. Cookie Monster. Try it again. FM 94.9. Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods. My goodness. You guys sound sexy. Dude, that was pretty. I'm going to show you. That was pretty sexy. All right. FM 94.9. This is Hoyle in the Nighttime. We got a long distance dedication going out there to Eric from Mary Bell. It's Hoyle in the Nighttime. Mary Bell. Oh my goodness. So, Jay. Yes. What are you doing with that on there? I've got M1 Brad and Julia on the phone so we can break the news. No way. Wait, is this from yesterday? Yes. Oh, the car. The car girl. Can they hear us right now? Yeah.
Yeah. They're on hold. I don't think they can hear us right now. Weren't we going to talk about this? Remember I said, like, did you tell me we were doing that? Dude, I totally told you. I just told you in commercial break when you were doing the little dance on the floor. I said I had them. It must have been another short, chubby Mexican because I don't remember anything like that. We full on had the conversation that I had. Jay, you're going to have to go to Hoyle's office after the show. Julia. Julia. Yeah. Julia. This is Julia. We talked to her yesterday. She's in high school. Her dad is on the other line. I don't even want to tell the story because if I tell the story, it tells the story. Yep. And so I'm going to get your dad on the line. Your dad's name is Brad and he's an M1. You ready to talk to your dad? Yeah. Okay.
Is anybody else's heart beating real fast? I'm sick to my stomach. I feel like you're going to get sick. Here we go. Brad? Hey, how you doing? Good. Your daughter, Julia, is on the line. That's what I hear. Yeah. I am telling you that I did not have a conversation with Jay, and Jay's saying, we had a conversation right now during break. I'm doing my Jay imitation. That's not very good. You're like oil. Julia, go ahead. Hi, honey. While you were out of town, I kind of borrowed your BMW. You what? I took your BMW to school and drove it around. Yeah, you know you're not supposed to. I know, I know, I know.
I just was sitting there, and I was just like, well, you know, I wouldn't know what's so cool if I take it to school. And I was like, okay, you know, what could possibly happen if I just drove it to school once? And so I did. And when I came out after school, like, I just parked in the parking lot, and there's a huge dent and the driver's side door. What? I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad. I'm so sorry. I didn't think anything bad could happen. I mean, I just drove it to school and parked in the parking lot, and that was all I did, and I didn't think anything bad could happen. Well, of course something's bad. Julie, something bad's always going to happen when you break the rules. I mean, it's Murphy's law, you know? Man. I asked her yesterday, Brad. Yeah? Staring at Jay. Jay's, oh, I don't know. What did I know? Brad, I told Julia that she should come clean, and she did. She said it was a golf ball-sized dent, which probably means that the only thing that could have caused that is a golf ball. So I'm guessing it was probably bigger than a golf ball. And by golf balls, I think she means bowling ball. Oh, man. Are you kidding me? Really? Yeah, you haven't been out there, I'm guessing.
No, no. I just got back into town. I got a thousand things going on. No, I haven't been out to see it yet. Dad, I'm so sorry. You can take my allowance for the rest of the year. Julia, where are you right now? Where are you right now? Julia, where are you at? Are you at school or are you at your friends or what? Yeah, I'm at school. I just took a break. I'm supposed to be in, like, class right now, but I'm just, I just went to the bathroom. I told the teacher I was going to the bathroom so I could call you. Brad. I mean, like... Brad. Yeah. Brad, I, listen, I'll commend you on this. I think you're right. I think that the fact that she told you the truth is, kind of says something about her. She told you the truth. Yeah, you know, I...
Don't get me wrong, Julia. I'm mad. I'm more than mad right now. But I'm glad you did forward. This is a weird way to come forward, though. I'm going to tell you right now. We'll get you in for a backstage pass here pretty soon, Brad. If you want to, Brad, we can let you come in and hang out in the studio with us on a Friday. I would love that. You have no idea. Bring the Beamer. Once it comes out of the shot, bring the Beamer. Most definitely I would do that, yeah. Well, listen, I'm going to let you guys talk about it. I'm going to let you guys talk about it more off the air. On a scale of 1 to 10, how mad are you, Brad? 11.5. You know what? Hey, but how mad would you have been about it, though, Brad, if she lied to you? Yeah. Oh, off the charts. Tried to cover it up. Definitely. And, Julia, I love you, honey. I love you, Dad.
I'm so sorry. I've never done anything like this before, and I promise I won't again. I know. I know, honey. And we'll talk more about it at home, but just give me some time to cool down about it, okay? Okay. He's one of those guys. Good job, Julie. You did the right thing. Thanks, guys. Don't drive the Beamer anymore. Don't drive the Beamer anymore, Julia. I want to have the Beamer. I promise. All right. We'll see you. All right. Thanks a lot. Beamer, girl. I teared up a little bit right there at the end. I got a little tear going. Yeah. Imagine that's your daughter. Tears work. I told you. Sienna told you. Doesn't work. Tears work, apparently. My dad folds when the tears come out. I will, too. I haven't forgot your little noise that you made. It had to be done. No, it didn't have to be done. She said she had to go to the bathroom. She told the teacher that she had to go to the bathroom, and Woods goes... I was dedicating for a minute. I was like, dude, she's not even at school right now? Like, this is a whole other punishment. Don't sound like it. I'm having a couple of cocktails at a friend's house, Dad. I just thought I'd tell you about it. At my boyfriend's house, all right? He graduated college already. Wow. That was tense. Jay goes, during the commercial break, Jay goes, you got all your stuff? You got all your info? And I go, yeah. I go, okay. We go to break. We come back. I look at this thing.
You have to start listening to me when I'm talking to you. You were looking right at me and you were doing the dance. Do you forget who you're talking to? Yeah, you were doing the can-can dance and you saw something shiny on the floor. It was a rock cat dance. He walks around nude in his own house. We had a conversation. You went, yeah, dude. Yeah, good. Do you have your stuff? And I go, yeah. And you showed me, well, you put like this, your hand like this. I see it now. You were too distracted by the fact that I looked at you stone cold while you did the cam cam dance. Yeah, I did the rockette. I'm doing a rockette dance. I'm looking at Lauren right in the face. And she's got headphones on. She's doing something on her computer. She turns and looks at me, expressionless, as I'm doing the dance, and then looks back at her screen and continues to work. This is why you should go to the webcam, MikeyShow.com. Right. And Jay's like... And meanwhile, in Mikey's head, he's like, she thinks less of me because of the nude thing. It's impossible to think that now. It's impossible to think that now. Since somebody said during the commercial break, actually, when I suck my thumb, I play with my eyebrow. And my eyelashes. And my eyelashes with my pinky. You missed it. Lauren sucks her thumb. Quarterly. We found out today. Quarterly.
Quarterly. Maybe four times a year. Check my calendar. Oh, yeah, today's the day. Today's November 22nd. That means, you know. Today's the end of first quarter, so hopefully you get it in before the end of the quarter. That's right. Got to stay home. And Mikey, he enjoys being naked in his house when there are guests around. Yeah, no problem. That sounds so filthy. Yeah, just a little Mexican dude running around naked. He was in his room with the door closed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There are strangers in my house. Is that what I do? Yeah. Running around your bedroom. Speedy Gonzalez. Yeah. Saying Arriba, Arriba. Arriba, Arriba. It's getting to the point where you can't be in your own home now. Yep. Your Mexicanness is what defines you. He did the Macarena. That's right. Let's see. Oh, geez. I'm beat now. I'm emotionally drained. I know. Your wife isn't even here yet. She'll be here in about an hour and a half. Oh. Yeah, Woods. Woods makes sure that he's scheduled the wife to land at 10 a.m. Yeah, right when we're on the air still. Do you know why the brilliance of that is? What? By the time I get out of here, it'll be 10.05. I can't hang out with you guys after the show because I got to go. By the time she gets all of her bags, it's going to be, I'm timing at a perfect pickup. Really? Perfect pickup. Really, because you realize you have to park your car. No, I'm going to pull up, I think, today. Oh, really? I'm going to do that bit.
I think we're going to do that bit today. Well, you know what he said? He said, I need to go home. I need to take a nap. You know, I didn't take a nap yesterday. I'm going to need to take a nap. I'm like, but you're just, you haven't even seen your wife in like over a month. He's like, yeah, she'll be fine. She'll see me tomorrow. Yeah, she'll be fine. I need a nap today. We're going to need to go to the grocery store. She's buying. It's on her. Really? Yeah. It's like a nice vacay for her. Yeah, because you guys don't have the same account. Right. They don't. So it's on her. Right. They don't. I'll put it on her card. Yeah. I'll be like, babe, can I borrow a couple of bucks? Make it right for the kid. Make it right for the kid. I told her that the other day. She goes, you know, I always make it right for you. She's like, I'll get you the cherry pop tarts this time. That's right. She's so sweet. She's awesome, dude. I can't wait to see her. What time is it? Yeah, about an hour and ten. Are your kids coming? No kids this time. By kids, we mean Yorkshire Terriers. No dogs. Who's taking care of the dogs? This is an adult trip. Who's to hear the dogs? We have a pet sitter and my parents are going over every night to check on them. It's cool. I have a very busy day. I have to help my dad hang a picture. I have to meet with Garrett. You, wait, hold on a second. I know. Your dad asked not Rebecca to come to him? Yeah, I know. It would make way more sense to have Rebecca help hang a picture. It would make more sense to have Jake help hang a picture than you. 100%. I'm going to get there and go.
I wrote him this morning. I said, this is to confirm as far as a picture hanging. Are you sure about this? Yeah. What am I going to do? Dad, you know I'm... Do you know how to knock on the wall and find a stud? No. Exactly. You have no clue. Nope. That sounds good. Oh, there we go. There we go. I don't know how you can tell the difference. Today I start my personal training. What? Start that back up today. Are you nervous? Two embarrassing days in a row, dude. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What are you going to wear? I have workout clothing. Nude. Spandex. You going in the nude this time, pal? No, I'm not. You're going to wear a spandex singlet, aren't you? No. A unitard. Please. Nobody do a picture of Mikey. Mikey in a unitard doing the deadlift. Please. I like you. I need to pitch on these squats, pal. Okay, ready? Down. Shut up. He's like... Right now, Woods is imitating doing a squat, holding a bar over his shoulders, and as he squats to the floor, he makes a noise. It's going to be awesome. You're going to be dying tomorrow. Oh, whenever I hear that noise. You get sore.
From lifting your golf bag out and walking and hitting balls. How are you going to do this? I'm nervous for you. How many balls did we hit? 200. 200 balls. Mikey and I went to Carlsbad Golf Center. Yeah. And we worked with our boy, Lisa Nudo, who's the pro, who is. He's a pro. Phil Fee. Yeah. In a good way. I mean, dude, the guy hits lasers. Oh, it's crazy. Woods and I just every once in a while ask him. Yeah, we go, well, you just hit a ball. Hit a ball. Just hit one ball. And he's like, yeah, okay. Quack. Quack. We're like, Mikey and I start jumping up and down going, do it again, do it again, do it again. It's so great. So go to carlsbadgolfcenter.com. Go see all the folks here. They are awesome, man. They've taken such good care of us. You had a big day today, Mike. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I hate when there's multiple things on the agenda. So do I. One thing I can deal with, but when there's multiple, it's like, ugh. I'm telling you, when I have a day where there's nothing on. Look at this. Have you ever seen my calendar? No.
You ever looked at my calendar? Oh, my gosh, dude. Oh, my goodness. That's today? Mikey, there's like 17 things on one day. Filet fish? What? Filet woods? Get naked in bed? What? Oh, I thought you were making filet of fish tonight. No. No, tonight is not filet of fish night. What restaurant is it tonight? Practice lunges? Hmm? I don't know. Practice lunges? Practice the lunges. What do I get? I can't wait to hear the story about the personal trainer bit. I'm getting back into it. I did. I was doing it a lot last year. Lost a lot of weight. Gained a lot back. Oh, I'm fat as I've ever been. Really? Cool. You got to get in there with me, Woodsy. I would, dude. Clapton. Old friend. Frayman. Want to play Would You Rather? Okay. Absolutely. Yeah, we'll take a break. When we come back, we'll play Would You Rather. Ugg boots could be dangerous. Never. I'll tell you what. It's all coming up. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. If you're in the market for a new car, here are some important things to consider.
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or go to wawanesaus.com. Rate shopping, it can't pay off. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT, Cicco, Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. That's the cult. Hollow Man. It's the cult. Hollow Man. We're on 94.9. San Diego. Perfect! I nailed that post. Dude, I'm getting better. Like a real DJ. Almost. Thanks, Hoyle. Thanks for that vote of confidence. I'll start giving you a vote of confidence when you can roll with it. Hey, this is Hoyle on FM 94. So just want to let everybody know our phone number. It's 570-1949. You could also text 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's Sienna. That's Lauren. That is our boy Jay. And if you're an M1, it means you're a Mikey Show listener. Belong to the M1 Nation.
It means that when you call into the show, you turn your radio down, you get to the point, and you don't cuss. That's what being an M1 is. We're giving you two choices, and both of them are bad. Would you rather step on a nail or get kicked in the nads? Would you rather? Nads. Nads. Some of these are tough today. They're always tough. They're always tough, but these, man. Would you rather marry someone who is kind but not really in love with you? Or marry someone who treats everyone else terribly and disrespectfully but totally adores you? Oh, dude. She said it's tough. Oh, God. That's brutal. I want him to love me. Yeah? I'm just going to say that. I got to go the opposite, man. As long as he doesn't treat me badly. Dude, I got to go the opposite. They're not really in love with you, so they're like...
I guess they're just kind of cool with being around. Yeah, that would break my heart every day. To see them be so disrespectful and treat people terribly. That would kill me. But at least you could yell at them. You ever been out with a guy that's like, hey, sweetheart, maybe you fill this water glass up, huh? What's taking so long with my food? Like just the D, the big D. And then they'll follow it up with, ugh. God, dude. Why don't you learn how to do your job? Like that guy? That's hard. That is awful, man. Well, because if this is right, then that guy totally adores you, but how do you adore him back? You can't. That's true. Just become a hermit and stay in the love nest. You just stay in the love nest? Yeah, but there's nothing worse than when you love someone and they don't love you back. I know. God, I know. It's like... That's what he's tearing me from each side of my body. See, I'm like... I can handle that. That was my entire teenage years. No, but now you're happy because someone loves you back. Yeah, for sure. But, I mean, I'm like, oh, you know, there were. Can you imagine them to be constantly just, like, pacifying you? Be like, hello, Mikey. Yeah, my teenage years. He knows it very well. Yeah, I know exactly how that, yeah. I know what they mean. But you're married. You're committing to someone for the rest of your life. Lauren's a cute blonde, so she's like, imagine this, Mike. Can you imagine if that happened? Imagine this, Mike. She's never been a dude. Yeah, she's never been a guy.
But for the rest of your life? Imagine if a person, like, didn't love you. Didn't love you. But they, like, pretend. And I'm like, you mean this girl and this girl and this girl and this girl and this girl? But for the rest of your life? The one person you've been the rest of your life with? That's impossible. It's impossible. My leanings are toward, I hate to see when people are rude to other people. Like, it drives me batty. Because I'm not rude to anybody in public. What did I do yesterday at lunch? He's very sweet, man. I had a crush on her waitress. I didn't. Why are you laughing? You were a waitress. Just because she never got one of those sweet reports. I guarantee you didn't. I thought it was really kind and sweet. Thank you. Woods did. We went to the Cheesecake Factory. Which was delicious, by the way. And Sienna said to Woods, I really like your waitress. I think she's really cute and really nice. She's such a good... Good waitress. The sweetie pie. It was on point all day. Bam, bam, bam. Here's everything you need. Woodsy pulled the manager over at the end of the meal and told the manager how great she was. And it wasn't like a big drawn out thing. I just said, hey man, I just want to let you know that I think her name was Lindsay. I didn't know Tiffany. I want to let you know that Tiffany is a really, really great waitress. She was really. She was great. You know what the deal was? She was the perfect amount. Yep.
See, I didn't know that you did that. I just remember as soon as I said, I really like her waitress. She's cute and nice. Wood said, oh, hey, we really like you. We think you're cute and nice. And I told her, too. That made her day. That probably made her day. It was really nice. Pulling the manager aside and telling him that is like, if I were the manager, I'd be like, I know, pal. That's why I hired her. Not necessarily, because I'm sure, think about the ration of crap that they get from people. This is not fresh ground pepper. My waitress didn't come back to refill my drink once. Exactly. What about that, Pepper? If the manager... Pepper! Hey, Pepper. Come on, Pepper. You are a waitress, Pepper. That is not going to stick. It's going to stick. Okay, at the restaurant that I worked at, we had several very good managers. And they were in touch with what all their servers' capabilities were and what their servers... brought to their customers and everything, and they just didn't need the affirmation of... That's a small restaurant. Boy, it sure is. It's a small restaurant. This is a giant operation where he's got tons of people I'm sure it's hard to keep up with, and normally you only hear about the negative.
Pepper just doesn't want to give me credit. That's right. Pepper just doesn't want to give me credit for being a nice guy. How come, Pepper? Pepper, why won't you give me that credit? Why not say it in front of her as well? I did. I feel like going above her like that is so condescending. Oh, my gosh. Now Woods was condescending? Now it's condescending. Yeah. Easy, Pepper. Whatever you can tell him, you can tell me I'm a woman. There's nothing better than that manager going back to his employee and saying, you know, I just had a really cool compliment about you. What is your problem, Pepper? Man, oh man, Pepper. I'm sitting here looking at her like she's an alien because I don't understand what her argument could possibly be against me. I just said, what did I say when he said he was going to go tell? She goes, oh, John. You know what? Get back. Get back. Oh, please. Because you're that guy. So let me read you a text from yesterday. Is it from Pepper? Pepper, yes, you did. Pepper is not going to stay. March 17th, 2010, 2.06 p.m. This was a mass text to everybody on the show from Pepper. She said, I had like five pieces of fresh ground pepper in my teeth, guys. Thanks for telling me. Just so you know, Pepper is Lauren. That's right.
The email address that I got it from was Elle Boogs. Yeah, it's my nickname. Elle Boogs. Elle Boogie. So I texted her back. I didn't notice. She said, sure. I said, for real, I didn't. Sure. And then Woodsy said, I think we got a new nickname. And she responded, it'll never stick. Easy pepper. It's not going to stick. M1 Nation, I hope you're listening right now. And you don't wear t-shirts to the first event. That says pepper. That says I love pepper. And I hope nobody makes a picture of Lauren with pepper in her teeth. Oh, come on. Come on. Yes. And our nickname for woods here is salt, right? Why? Why? Because you're always throwing salt in my game. That's right. Salt in your wound. That's right. Would you rather feel snakes crawling across your feet and ankles or ants crawling in and out of your nostrils? Ants. Really? That quick? 100%. Snakes. Never? On a plane. Snakes. Sienna? I'm really thinking about this one, and I think I'm going to have to go with snakes. Yeah. I don't even like snakes, but I'd take that over the nostril. They're not biting me. They're growling. They're not biting you. They're just slithering. Yeah, snakes. With their cold. Oh, God. Scaly. Scaly. Almost wet feeling. Wood said to Papa Tums. Reptilian skin.
In fact, when it slithers. He dropped the tums on the floor. He put it in his mouth. I was going to say, is he going to do the five-second rule? You have a piece of ear. Ew. Yeah, you feel that thick reptilian skin that has that oily feel to it. It's cold. All those tiny scales. It's a disgust. Moving across your ankles. Maybe you give him some Lubriderm. Yeah, maybe you give him some Lubriderm. Never. They're not going to bite you. I don't care. I hate snakes. What's the problem? They're just scaly, slithery. Serpents. Slimy serpents. I hate. If ants were in your nose, if you ever blew your nose, you'd always be looking for an ant. Yeah, see, that's the deal. And tickle incessantly. Sienna just said it. If you had snakes slither across your ankles and feet. You'd be done with. If you did, though, you could get over it. Oh, God bless. No way. You'll never get over. Itching. Ants in your nose. Yeah.
Never. You'll never get over it. It will live on. You think they're in your head. Yeah, you think they're in your head. Your brain. I saw Ozzy Osbourne snort ants. He's fine. Not surprised. Did it one time. You were fine, weren't you? Didn't bother me at all, man. You've had a lot of stuff up your nose, haven't you? I've heard a couple things up there from time to time, but that particular time was ants, yeah. Were they red ants? He snorted a whole line of ants. It's a true story. It's a true story. Why did you do that, Ozzy? Because they were there. And you just thought, why not? I saw a line. He saw a line, he did it. I saw a line, I did it. Ants march in a line, yeah. Did you say ants marching? That's right, Dave. You said ants marching. Do we get a duet going here, maybe? Yeah. Ozzy and Dave. Let's do a match-up. I can't even play, man. I snorted a line earlier, too. What an answer, though, I'll tell you that. That's stupid. Stupidest thing you've ever seen. Is that your wife, Ozzy? That's Sharon. Sharon! Ozzy? Ozzy, don't have to yell that way at me. Don't yell, and don't look at the camera. Everyone's trying to watch Dave Matthews play, darling. Let him play. I'd like to do Crazy Train Acoustic with you. I'll do it. Okay?
Why are you wearing a robe? I live here. You don't live here, Dave, and you don't need to wear a robe. Are you playing God's Roses? No, I'm playing Crazy Train. You're playing Crazy Train? What the hell is that? It's your song. Just a little patience. Yeah, man. Just a little patience. Yeah. That's not my song, man. I don't recognize it. Ozzy, do you know any of Dave's songs? I know all of them. You do? Yeah. I've seen one right now. Which one? Play one of them, man. I'll sing it. That's Dave Matthews. That's his song. Which one is this? I don't know that song, man. It's called number 41. How about you guys make up the words to a new song? Why don't you play me another song, man? You guys don't know any of the new songs. The hell is happening.
Do you know any American music or anything? You just pipe whatever you play over there. Is that country music? Was that Carrie Underwood? Was that playing? That was the Foo Fighters. What is that? Why are you wearing a robe, man? I live in the studio, man. He thinks he lives in the studio. What does that mean? Like you record so much that you live in the studio? No, I live under the, where you sit is in my, where my pillow is. Don't get any ideas. He has a bed under there, Ozzy. You can't say there's a bed underneath the console. My robes and my lean tube.
Jay made me a lean tube. What is that? Beachwood. What is a lean tube? I've eaten a pigeon on stage, man, and I've never seen anything that crazy. Can you bite a bat's head off? A bit of bat's head off. That man's got a full beard and lives in a studio. It's really weird, man. You want to go get high? I just told you I snorted ants, man. Let's go. What do you think I'm going to do? Can we take a couple of phone calls? Yeah. We got people calling. Mark that. What? Mark that. What? M1 Shannon? Is that me? Yes. Shannon, go ahead. I was just going to call, because you said the question was, would you rather love someone that was rude but wasn't in love with you? Yes. I would rather have someone that was kind but wasn't in love with me, because that doesn't mean they don't love you. It's just because they're not in love with you.
Because even in regular marriage, you can go through times where you're not like, I'm so in love. That's a great point. That is. I want true love. It doesn't exist. Only on Twilight. True love. Edward found it. Only on Twilight is there true love. Edward and Bella found it. It's about vampires. I love you, Bella. It's a scene from Twilight. The Italian Twilight. I love you, Bella. I love you, Bella. Ciao, Bella. It's a Romanian. No, all vampires, as you know, are from Portland. With Twilight. They live in Portland. They live in Washington. There's a really huge concentration of vampires in the Portland and Tacoma area. It's because there's not a lot of sunlight. Aberdeen. Duh. Duh. The new moon comes out on Saturday. Yeah. Actually, Friday at midnight, I heard. Not that I know, but somebody had said something. Yeah, what's that wristband around you? According to all of his diligent research. What would Edward do is what it says.
Team Edward t-shirt. Team Edward. Would you rather help someone move into a new house once or pick someone up from the airport 15 times? Easy. That is? Airport. Me too. All day. Right? You could sit in your car and do nothing. Yeah. Especially the San Diego airport. Blast cigs all day? Yeah. Listen to music? You could have somebody land at Lindbergh at 9 o'clock at night, arrive at 1 p.m., and just keep going in that loop all day long until they land. If they're flying southwest, you just drive around. Is there anything worse? Then moving into a new house, which, of course, the Mikey Show is all going to get to do when the kid moves into his new place. We're all going to go together as a team. I'm going to be out of town. Yeah, the whole team is going to go over. We're going to help the kid move in. We're out of town. We're going to make the kid feel at home here in San Diego. I wish I could. We don't even know yet. Look at that hernia operation. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out. We don't even know when we're moving in yet. We don't even know when we're moving in yet. I wish I could help you. We're going to do it as a bit for the show. Bits need to be funny. No, it's going to be really funny. Watching Mikey move my couch in is not going to be funny. I think I'm going to have the chicken pox. I have to have my chicken pox shot that weekend. You guys are helping. Or else I would. It's total BS if you don't. I got a case of scurvy. Don't even say it. What's up, team players? Cool, man.
You know what team players do? What do team players do? They go to work. Do they go with you while you hit golf balls? They hire movers. Really? Because there's a good comparison between hitting golf balls. For free. Do they call you after a doctor appointment to make sure you're okay? Do they come hang out with you on the weekend at Petco Park? You don't hire out your friends to do manual labor. Woods, you do that because you don't have any other friends here. Woods just winked at me. Woods just winked at me. Just so you know. Woods is a good friend. He knows it. He's a good friend. He's a great friend. He's a great friend. It doesn't mean I'm as good. I know. That's why I'm so sad that the weekend he's moving in, I am getting my wisdom teeth out again. Have you guys ever heard of the bit of, this is the worst bit in the world, and I may save it for the dude you're dumb, but I'm not going to. The guy that has the paint party at his house. Hey, I've got a case of beer. Somebody come over and help me paint. It's me. I don't think so, pal. I'm out. Is that you? I have pizza and beer. Yeah, because I want to get hammered and paint your room. That's what I want to do. The worst. I would never have someone do that because they would mess up. They would look crappy. Yeah. They would not care. That is great. Not if it's white. You guys are helping me move, by the way. Yeah, I'm going to be out of town. Yeah, you're coming.
You're coming. You're all coming. I'm sure. Jay and I can probably knock it out in half an hour. It's my birthday. I'm going to be with the seals on the beach. I'm going to be training with the Navy seals. Sure. Let's see. Where is my little... It's next to your burrito. It's under all the Mexican food. Personal trainers are going to be stoked about that. What have you eaten today, Mike? A giant burrito? You have to be talking out of school. Keep writing your own paper, whoops. That's true. Touche. Touche. Touche. All right. Let's see. Is there an Oscar curse for females? Yes. What is it? Because, I mean, I've been hearing about it. It's the D word. Divorced. Divorced? If they're divorced, then it's bad? Yep. What do you mean? You know, Kate Winslet separated from her husband. She won an Oscar. Yeah. She did. Yeah, last year. For what? I don't know. Titanic. Yeah.
Came out last year. She just keeps winning it. Sandra Bullock. This year's winner, Titanic. Yeah. Still winning awards. A cheating scandal broke out this week between Sandra Bullock and her husband, Jesse James. That's weird. Yeah, she, and I mean, this is apparent, the story. However, she is not going to a red carpet event for the movie The Blind Side in London or England over there. Same thing. Yeah, same thing. There you go. Halle Berry. She was married to Eric Bennett, the R&B singer. When she got an Oscar in 2002, she said she wanted to thank her husband, who's the joy of her life, next year. Not so much. Split. He cheated. Reese Witherspoon, same thing with her husband, Ryan Phillippe. He cheated. Hilary Swank was married to Chad Lowe, brother of Rob Lowe. What happened? Split right after the Oscar. Can I point something out? What? All these guys that these ladies married, they're all A-listers. These guys are like D-listers. Maybe that's the problem. When they won the Oscar, the dudes are like, great. I can't get a commercial and my wife's winning Oscars. The curse is Hollywood. Let's count how many Hollywood marriages have. I know. But right after Oscar, Emma Thompson, Helen Hunt, Angelina Jolie were married to Billy Bob Thornton right after she won Best Supporting Actress in 2000 for Girl Interrupted. Really? Divorced. That's crazy. Maybe their heads get too big. Gina Davis. I think so. Divorced. That's crazy. That's weird. Right after. That's really weird.
It's like the Madden thing. Yeah, the Madden curve. If that many of them happen, then you got to go, I don't know what I'm doing. I'd rather get an Oscar. You would? I bet their heads get... And their husbands who aren't really, you know, Chad Lowe, what's he going to do? They can't deal with it. They're like, I'm going to solve this. I'll cheat. Yeah. I'm a big deal compared to this random girl in the street. That's crazy, man. Yeah. So Blockbuster, things are so bad for Blockbuster, which, duh, that bankruptcy may be the only thing. Well, I don't hate it at all. I love Blockbuster. You just don't go there anymore. Well, what could you go there for? It's an adventure. It's an experience. Go get a couple VCR tapes, pal. It's so much easier to look. Yeah, I want to wait. Yeah, I can scroll the whole store in the time it takes me to try to search for one movie. Oh, it's in the queue for six months? Yeah. Okay, cool. I'll wait that out. Yeah. I'll look forward to that in June. Really? Yeah, dude. Hey, I've got both. I mean, I like the convenience factor and watching things online. When was the last time?
You went into a Blockbuster. Well, I'm not, like, scratching my forearms for, you know, Mrs. Jones' diary. The one by my house just closed. You know what I mean? Like, oh, my gosh, I can't wait. See, I get that way about movies I really want to see. Like Twilight? Yeah, like Twilight. Like New Moon. I get, like, really excited. Like a New Moon fix. Like when that documentary came out, it may get loud. It might get loud. Yeah. About the guitar players. Yeah. I was flipping out. Like, I was at Blockbuster every week going, when the hell? is this thing coming out? Yeah, but you always have to go like a couple weeks after it comes out because it's always out. Yeah. And you're disappointed. Was it cool just to be hanging out in Blockbuster with the one guy that worked there just in the whole store? Was it cool when you were in there going, when's it coming out? Blockbuster is bumping. It's pumping. Like five that are left in Southern California. Yeah, I heard that you go there and you got to take your pacifiers and glow sticks. It's that much of a party there at Blockbuster. Well, Blockbuster announced on Tuesday that they may need to file Chapter 11, which is bankruptcy if the cash flow does not improve. They are reportedly in about a billion dollars worth of debt. Wow. Yep. I don't know if you know this, but Betty White is funny. Very. She's very, very funny.
And this is Larry King asking her if she considers herself a sex symbol. Duh. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. It's not that I consider myself that. I just have to concede the point. It's so true. What's their combined age? 184. She's 88. She's awesome. Really? She sounds so spry. What if she was your grandma? You know, when I was dating Greta Garbo, she used to look just like you. She had a grandmother when I first dated Greta Garbo. You used to take her to the silent movies, didn't you? Yeah, or the talkies. The talkies, yeah. Used to take her to the talkies. Back when I used to party with RFK. When you were young, did they just call the Bible the Testament? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. My social security number? One. Guy's old. Yes, he is. I have a musket wound. You had a pet. You had a pet dinosaur. A pet stegosaurus. Yeah. His name was Ralphie. I loved that stegosaurus. What was Noah like? He was really cool. He was really cool.
Are you sad you had to fight against your brother in the Civil War? He was the blue, I was the gray. He had a bayonet, you had a musket. He introduced me to my first wife, Pocahontas. John Smith? Yes. Did you have a relative that died of dysentery? Yes, I did. On the Oregon Trail? TB. All of my relatives died from the common cold. So tell me why. Uggs could be dangerous, Sienna. And is that the deal? Uggs could be dangerous? Yes. Because they make you look ugly. No, they don't. I wear Uggs or moccasins every day. I think Uggs are cool. Is it the fungus? No. Is it the stank? It's not the stank, Woods. I already told you no. Your arches fall. I said smell. You said no. Then I said stank. And I said no. Is it the stank? It's the same thing. Not really.
Jay is right. It's the what? Professionals at the British College of Osteopathic Medicine. It's the best college for osteopathic medicine. Exactly. They said that because the boots are warm and soft, young girls, all girls, think that they're giving the feet a break. In fact, they're literally breaking their feet is what they say. They said with each step, the force falls towards the inside of the foot and the feet. Splay? Well said. I don't know what splay means. I'll splay it to you later. Okay. All right. All right. Which basically they say that because there's not very much support in the shoe, your arch flattens. Wow. I have a really high arch on my foot. Yeah. And I wear Uggs all the time and that arch has not flattened. But I guess the knockoff woods have like zero support at all. I know, Jay. I was thinking the same thing. I was thinking the same thing. Nothing about her is flattened. I didn't say it. You're talking about my boobs. I let it go. Oh, for goodness sake. I said my arches on my foot flattened, and you think chest. I mean, I was going to say, what I was going to say is... Nah, don't worry about it. M1 Josh. Yeah. You there? Yep. What were you calling to say? Oh, you guys were talking about Blockbuster, and my kids dragged me in there yesterday. It's the first time I've been there in a while. Crickets. Movies now are five bucks each. Yeah. And you get it for five days, and it's a dollar every day after that. It's probably enough for four dollars. You get it for eight years.
Crazy. I mean, if I were Blockbuster, I'd be like, you know what? Movies are free for the next four years. You just keep coming here. You please come back. We're going to give you cake and ice cream if you come back here. Okay? We'll have a pizza party. I wish the employee well with their new job because they're done. Hello, iTunes. Goodbye, Blockbuster. Well, I feel bad for the employees, but I don't know, man. Well, Matt and I made an observation that basically a third of the store is other merchandise. Oh, yeah. Really? Like Twilight posters and shirts. Posters, magazines, books. Edward. There's like sunglasses in there. I don't have Jacob fighting Edward on my wall. I don't have that in my house. Flat screen TVs, canoes. Let's see. Suspenders. All right. I think I get you. I think I get where you're going with that. I think everybody picked up on it. New cars. All right. You guys want to know what the new... What speed is the new 55? I also want to ask you about your nerdy habits. We have a lot of cool stuff coming up. A lot of show left. It's a Mikey show.
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Okay, that'll be $4.25 for that big giant latte. Can I pay with this? A picture of somebody surfing? No, it's a San Diego County Credit Union Visa check card with a picture of me on it surfing. How'd you do that? Well, I had to paddle out way past the break. No, how'd you get your picture on your Visa card? Easy. SDCCU has this My Own Card Photo Visa webpage at SDCCU.com. I just uploaded my photo and boom, they put it on the front of my Visa card. card why didn't you put your girlfriend's picture on there maybe i just haven't met the right girl yet yeah don't be so sure let your personality shine through with a fun personal photo on the front of your own visa creditor check card from san diego county credit union don't wait to get your personal my own card photo visa go to sdccu.com and apply for a competitive rate visa card or sign up for a checking account and personalize your visa check card san diego county credit union growing together federally insured by NCUA. Nothing. Every opportunity in front of you. The world's forward-thinking companies behind you. The Pacific Ocean beside you. Nothing standing between you. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not the most health...
Conscious person in the world. Woods. It's hard work looking this good. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. Deanna. When they're real, you know. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9. What's he picking the music today? Afghan wigs, my enemy. Please go to the Mikey Show Facebook page. Please go there right now. Really? M1 Animator just did a phenomenal photo of Mikey as Rose from Titanic. Lying naked in bed. Of course. Censored, of course. Yeah, it's censored, of course. But it's phenomenal. You did it. It's amazing. I know, but the body. It's the greatest thing I've ever seen. It's the most horrific. It's a Hall of Famer. I thought Woodsy was going to cry laughing so hard. He was laughing so hard. He was jumping up and down. He was jumping up and down. He's like, Hall of Fame, Hall of Fame. I'm seven.
By the way. Yeah. Let's see. 5701949 is our number. Some of the text messages that we're getting at 949mikey at gmail.com. Hey, Mikey, when Woodsy said that you would be wearing a unitard to your workout, I almost choked on my oatmeal. Up the good work. That's M1 Welder Boy. Unitard. Would give anything to see Mikey in a unitard lifting weights. Mikey, I almost spit coffee all over my dash listening to the unitard bit. Great show, M1 Wildcat. Let's see. Hey, Mikey, I own my own local San Diego moving company called Gorilla Movers. I'd love to move your guy for free. Wow. Check out our website for more info, GorillaMovers.com. Huge. That's SD Gorilla. Thank you, SD Gorilla. I'm moving too. I am. You are? I'm moving. The beginning of April or the middle of April? Matt and I bought a teepee that we're going to live in forever. We've actually built it. That's right. I'm moving into a real house. I just didn't think I would employ the whole show to move my stuff. I'm not employing the show. I'm employing my friends. Yeah. My friends. Who happen to be on the show. My dear, dear close friends. We're like family. We love you so much. We love you so much that we're not going to help you. That's why it pains us so much to watch you move all by yourself. Hey, I will.
I'll gladly give you the friend of the year award for the rest of the year. You can have it. I won't compete. That's right. You won it, buddy. You walked away with it. Congratulations. Matt's pouring himself another drink right now as we speak. Why? I just gave you a friend of the year award. You should be happy. We'll talk later. This email says, Mikey, I have three nerdy habits that come to mind immediately because I asked for your nerdy habits. Laptopping in the nude. Whatever. It says, I'm a giant nerd and I embrace it. It says, number one, I love comic books slash manga and then in parentheses, Japanese comics. I love them too. I love anime. Did my brother write this email? And it says, and this is the most nerdy in my opinion. I play online MMORPG. What is that? Massive multi-online role-playing games.
called Maple Story for ages 10 and up and I'm 33. Get me out. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. That's his roommate. You guys, whatever you want to vote. Get me out. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. That's the guy's roommate. Hey, I've played some role-playing games. They're fun. I'm sure you have. Can we save that? Please. Save that. I'm talking about the real, like... Sure you are. Dirty nurse. Comic-Con. Catholic schoolgirl. I got it. Yeah, we've all done it. I worked at Comic-Con. Save that. Please. Please. You guys. Where's your Comic-Con? So, what is this? Does he have a question? No, he just wanted to let us know what he does. Because I asked. I said, and that was M1 Night Scream. Dude, here's the deal. I'll watch baseball all day. Some people think that's nerdy. Fine. That's my bit. You know? Really?
That's as nerdy as you... You know what? Sometimes, you know, I rescue kids out of burning houses, you know? Some people call that... Some people call it nerdy. Sometimes I volunteer at the SPCA. You know what? Some people call that nerdy, you know? What are you going to do? I like to skydive. Yeah. I lift weights sometimes. Some people think that's nerdy. Yeah, dude. I shave my chest, man. Some people think that's nerdy. Some girls like that. Do you have a really hairy chest naturally, Frankie? Yeah. You got to manscape. Well, you got to keep the lawn mowed. You know what I mean? On the chest. Just the chest. Just the chest? Yeah. Frankie, you're doing everything right. You got it, girl. You're manscaping. You're tan. You're lifting weights. Thanks. Got a nice haircut. That's how it is on the East Coast, guys. That's how they roll. Not really over here. Thanks. You do your laundry on the daily. Yeah. Nice and fresh. Yeah, I do. Keeping it real and clean. You guys really look like a cute couple. This is so cute. They're both Jersey East Coaster. Not in the brunettes, you know. Come on, Frankie boy. She's a natural blonde. Come on, Frankie boy. She's a natural blonde. Don't be scared. Listen. Frankie, give her a shot. Come on. You know, I'm just fresh out of a relationship. Is that right? You know you want the goods, Frankie boy. Listen, I normally would, okay? But the problem is, is that I've had to go to like...
The same kind of rehab that Tiger did because just too many women. What do you mean? Sex addiction. Yeah. Sex camp. Tons of them. Just making sex with all the girls? Slaying them. And so I've got to slow down. Otherwise, you know, I'm sure me and you would make a great couple. You come with me, I'll make it right. No. Yeah. Go on. Please. Do it. Listen. Frank, now you know how I feel, pal. What are you talking about? You know what I'm talking about. Me and you are friends, dude. Oh, yeah. We've developed a little bit of a relationship. We talk here in the office. Dude, without me, who would roll tape on you during your games? Thank you. Me. No, man. Oh, yeah. One angle, you know. Yeah. What kind of angles are you getting there, bud? Hey, who rolls videotape on this kid? And then shows him how to work through his different pitches. I thought you meant like grip tape. Yeah, I thought he was talking about when I take because I take my wrist sometimes if I'm not pitching. You can do that. No, I can do that myself. I do that myself. I'll come over and do it. No, I don't need it. I'm not playing a game. Come over here, Frankie boy. Come on. Come on. Come on. Let me sit in your lap. Let me sit in your lap. No, don't. Please don't. Why not? Because I am. You don't want her to sit on your lap? I'm cute. I got a bruise.
She's not going to end your thigh. I got a bruise on my thigh from lifting weights too hard. Come here. Let me massage it out for you. No, no, don't. Yeah, you got to get the circulation going. Come on. Circulation is fine. Come on. Don't do it. I got a pickle. You're freaking me out. Wow. Pickle. Pickle. Listen, I'm fresh out of a relationship, and so I'm vulnerable. I'll be gentle. Come on. I'll take it slow. Don't. Frankie boy. Don't. Come here. Don't put your hands up. Come here. Don't. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't. She is all over him. Freaky, chill out. Oh, my goodness. She's trying to help. You are hot as a rock. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. I love gorillas. Don't touch my chest. Wow. Wow. She just called you a gorilla. That means you're buff. Wow. She really freaks me out when she puts her hands on me. Yes, sir. Silly. I never said this. I'm a germaphobe, all right? But you always want to rub lotion on wood. You always want to rub me? He's my boy, man. What are you talking about? I want to help the guy. That's true. You're a good friend. She wants to help you, dude. She's being a good friend over here. Give you a little slice. Make it right. There you go. Now you know how it feels. Exactly, Frankie. Give the guy a break. Trying to help over here.
Acting like I'm not helping. You got really freaked out. Yeah, did you not like girls touching you? I'm fine with girls touching me, man. It's just that, you know, I'm still contagious, all right? You got a breeze on your thighs? What's wrong with you? I had a chicken pox. Oh, yeah, that's brutal. That's Sienna's bit. You can't take that bit. Yeah. I mean, I had to scurry me. That's Jay's bed. All right, I had to forget it. You better forget it right there. Seriously, Lord. Digging it deeper. So the new 55 miles an hour is what, Sienna? Well, in Virginia... They're changing the speed limit. They are? Mm-hmm. To 70 miles per hour. Nice. Because you know what? It's not 55 here. It's not 55 in California. It's 65. Can we move our show to Virginia? Okay. I bet Hoyle could get us an in. I don't know anyone there. You don't know anyone in Virginia? I don't know anyone in Virginia. West Virginia probably. I thought you knew people everywhere. I'm not allowed there. Booger and Prescott didn't move over to Virginia? It's Booger and Twit. It's Booger and Twit. It's Kramer and Prescott. Oh. Kramer and Prescott. Okay. They're from the Andela.
And Dilla, Missouri. Okay. You know people in Missouri. Missouri. They're number one. You know people in Alabama. 17 bucks in a row. Wow. You want to know why? Hoyle, Henry. Make it right. Wow, dude. Holy cow. Tried my bits out, huh? I can do it too. Let's hear it, Hoyle. Get. Sounds like you're going to the bathroom. That is awful. It's not awful. Did you just sneeze? Yeah. So let's go to the bathroom. Yeah. Wow. Y'all don't do that. Okay. Sure we won't. Virginia has just become the 34th state to boost their interstate speed limits to 70 miles per hour or higher. Awesome. Tom Tom collected speed data from 45 states and this is what they're testing that people want to drive 70. Is that right? We needed to speed things up a bit Mikey. Thank you Tom Tom girl. Anytime Mikey.
That didn't work. You don't get it. All right. Who is this clown, Mikey? He's the station manager. If you have nerdy habits, we'd love to hear them. 570-1949. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Check engine. So many things can go wrong with your car. That's why Pep Boys invented one place that can make them all right. Right now, it's dollar days at Pep Boys. Buy any three installed DFINITY tires, get the fourth tire for a buck with instant rebate. Buy three, get the fourth tire for $1 instantly. Get a do-it-yourself five-quart Pennzoil oil change with Purolator filter, just $15. Champion Platinum Spark Plugs are only $1 each.
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I'm a salesman. You're a salesman? That's not nerdy. There's nothing weird about it. There's nothing nerdy about being a salesman. No. I thought you meant for a living. No, I meant what do you do that's nerdy. So what's your sign, Heather? Yeah. What's my sign? I'm a cancer, man. Me too. What do you do that's nerdy? I am hooked on Farmville on Facebook. Heather. Oh, Heather. Are you the one that keeps sending me those requests? Yes, that's me. Those requests. You know, now that I have you on the line, what is it? What is it? Yeah, what is that? Because I get it and I just delete it. Well, Farmville is one of them. It's a virtual little farm that you build and you add neighbors to and you plant. You plant your seed, you choose what you're going to grow, and you harvest them, and you throw in some cows and some chickens. I like to do that in real life. Yeah, it's Jay's weekend. Jay calls it the weekend. Yeah, exactly. Wow. I mean, I can't even think straight. If I have something to harvest and I've got to be back in my office and get on my computer and harvest my tulips, I'm going to lose points.
My goodness. Yeah, your sales manager right now is like, oh, really? Really? Is that what you're doing? Okay. That's what happened to the AIS account. I can't do that. Yeah, exactly. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Thank you, Heather. Bye. 10-1 Heather. Crazy. I get those all the time. Mafia. Nobody in this room loves the mafia more than me. I've seen every mafia. I read every mafia movie. I read every mafia book. I don't want to be in a fake mafia. You don't want to have a mafia war? I don't want to have a mafia war. Please. It drives me nuts. Me too. I've learned how to hide them from my feed, but they don't stop coming to my... No. Speaking of Farmville, here comes Hillary. What do you mean? She plays Farmville all the time. She does not. Oh, no. She does not. Do you, Hill? No. Of course not. No way. I've never... You know what I did? I hid... Farmville. I hit it because it's so... How do you do that? I need to make it so that I don't see them. How do you do that? I'll show you. Do you get like the so-and-so sent you a hug? Hillary, for the record, I've never sent you a hug on Facebook. I'm still waiting. FYI. How embarrassed were you yesterday? Scale of 1 to 10.
Pretty embarrassed. No! Pretty bad. Yes, Sienna, you nailed it. That was the funny thing. I know. The bar was full of people standing around, and I had just gotten there, had my headphones on, like listening. Getting ready to broadcast live. Getting ready to broadcast live. And then you guys did your thing and talked about coming out there. Woods' love for Hillary. Yes. And then Sienna says... Just to wait or just think about it. The whole bar is probably standing around right now staring at her. And the place went nuts. Oh, man. Because what happens is when you're broadcasting live, you have, you know, a table set up. There's speakers. Everyone in the place can hear us and is looking at you. It's kind of uncomfortable. You know, I'm not good at that. Can I tell you the funny part? I mean, totally off the air. We're deciding where we're going to because we go to lunch. Right. And he goes. He's totally serious. He's like, seriously, you guys want to go to Hoolies? And we're like, Woods, stop it. And he's like, what, what, what? She's like, break 20 miles from here. You're such a jerk. Did you hear about Mikey? Did you hear this morning? Yeah, nude laptop. Yeah, nude laptop. Yeah, make fun of me. Be very afraid when he calls you and he's at home.
Oh, my gosh. Hey, it's Mike. I kept waiting for you guys to show up. Didn't happen, though, because we wanted to give you a break. Well, just so you know, I was actually just wanting to come out there and support the station. Is that it? Yeah, I worked for the station. Really? Yeah, I wanted to support the station, but everybody else thought cheesecake was a better option. So I said, okay. Did you or did you not take a cheesecake home with you? You know I took one home with me, and you know I ate it in my bed last night, blasting a cigarette at the same time. I believe you said you slayed it. I slayed it. He came in this morning and goes, did you guys slay your cheesecake last night or what? When you got home, y'all slay that cheesecake? Slayed it. I didn't eat mine. Lauren didn't take one because they don't make broccoli cheesecake. Yeah, I was so disappointed. Yeah, parsley? No, no parsley, no broccoli, no sprouts. Tell you what, just take the lawn clippings, then, and just put it in a popsicle. Yeah, I was looking for that one. Oh, man. All right, we got to go, and we will be back. Oh, wait, wait, wait. No, that's not what I mean. Woods is running to go pick up his wifey. That's right. Woo-hoo! Where's my... You could take her to Hooley's for lunch. It's right around the corner. Right around the corner. Perfect. Yeah, great. Here we go. Hey, Jay?
Invited Jay. He's not going to be here tomorrow. Uh-oh. Let me see what I can do real quick. Jay's not going to be here. Why don't you give me an outro with my... Maybe we outro another two. You want to do that? Maybe we outro with 9-1-1 call. Outro number four, Mike. You want to do that? Yeah. All right. I should give some love to Hulis that you guys should eat their corned beef. Oh, my gosh. The food was great. We had a good time. This is... This is Woodsy's... Buddy's band. Yes, the Saints on Fire. My friend Bobby McIntyre used to be the drummer for the Twilight Singers. Twilight? Has a new, not that, Twilight! Oh, okay. Has a new band out of Miami, Florida. They're on Facebook, Saints on Fire. I love you, dude. Hell, what do you got coming up today? No Saints on Fire, unfortunately. Unfortunately. Bad religion. They're kicking off their three-night stand tomorrow, so I'm going to play some of that. Tempered Trap, Mumford & Sons. It's going to be good. Sweet. All right. Mikey's show will be back tomorrow morning at 6. We're out. The music all day and night. FM 94.9. The music.