The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/19/10
Friday, March 19, 2010
Friday March 19, 2010
Another Friday with the studio packed with M1’s and Woods’ wife Jamie who came to town. Will Lauren’s new nickname “Pepper” stick? It sure did stick to her teeth! More news about the ditzy porn star that got with Tiger Woods. Do girls prefer feminine men? The answer makes Frankie upset. Mikey recaps his gym workout which leads to types of bad sporting event etiquette. Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock with an inked up stripper from San Diego. The germaphobe in Mikey seems to be growing as the gang discusses things that have a lot of germs like shopping carts. To prove a point, The Kid licks a $20 dollar bill several times, grossing out the room! Old Uncle Neil Diamond loves the Incorporator and does his own singing version. Sienna reports on strange new developments in the Natalie Holloway case. Kraft foods and Campbell’s products are going to be cutting down on the salt and naturally, this leads to Lauren’s a health nut jokes. Mikey tells the birth of his twins story. List of 10 things not to date a guy for: ring wearers, animal haters, salad eaters, etc. Lars Ulrich defends wearing a Speedo. Sienna Sings is a hat trick as she gets all 3 hair band songs! 10 things chicks do that turn guys off brings intern Susanna in with some choice words for Jamie. Mikey tells of his awkward picnic with Rebecca when they were dating. Lauren and Mikey do Woodsyisms during a new list. Prepare to lose your appetite when you listen to Meal Breakers! The worst involves Chinese food and a band-aid. Open phones before mike’s Testimony has a M1 call in to say his heavy use of Woodsyisms is getting him in trouble with his wife.
Bumper Music
1. Talking Heads – “This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody”
2. Sigur Ros – “Staralfur”
3. Jose Gonzalez – “Killing for Love”
4. Jeff Buckley – “Last Goodbye”
5. Led Zeppelin – “Bron-Y-Aur-Stomp”
6. Emily Wells – “Symphony 1 In the Barrel of a Gun”
7. Radiohead – “Idioteque”
8. Bob Marley – “Guava Jelly”
9. Beastie Boys – “Brass Monkey”
10. Taj Mahal – “Lovin’ In My Baby’s Eyes”
11. Broken Bells – “The Ghost Inside”
12. Bruce Springsteen – “I’m On Fire”
13. Foo Fighters – “Everlong”
14. Xavier Rudd – “Fortune Teller”
15. The Cure – “Close To Me”
16. Blind Melon – “Galaxie”
chapstick/moisturizer"git" usageRun for ChelseaTiger Woods scandalGloria Allredmasculine vs feminine menMarch Madness bracketsSienna sings/karaokemeal breakers/gross foodpersonal redemptionmikey showwoodsy
The show opened with Woodsy defending his chapstick use after Mikey teased him about losing his man card, while Jamie later explained why she dislikes the couple's habit of saying 'git.' Mikey then promoted the Run for Chelsea charity run and detailed the Tiger Woods scandal involving Veronica Daniels' released texts, questioning Gloria Allred's absence from the debate. Later, the crew debated a study claiming women prefer feminine men like Johnny Depp, analyzed March Madness bracket upsets, watched Sienna succeed in a karaoke challenge, heard gross meal-breaker stories, and closed with Mikey's candid account of overcoming childhood abuse and addiction through faith.
What happened, in order
Chapstick Controversy
Woodsy defends using chapstick/moisturizer after Mikey teases him about losing his man card for needing it.
Git and Jamie
Jamie (Woods' wife) visits the studio and explains why she dislikes the couple's habit of saying 'git' to each other.
Run for Chelsea Announcement
Mikey promotes the upcoming Run for Chelsea event, a free three-mile run at Lake Hodges to finish Chelsea King's run, with shuttle parking from North County Fair.
Tiger Woods Scandal Break
Veronica Daniels, a former porn actress, releases explicit text messages alleging a three-year affair with Tiger Woods, sparking debate about her motives.
Gloria Allred Backfire
Mikey jokes that Gloria Allred is doing tequila shots at home, calling her involvement in the Veronica Daniels interview a massive backfire.
Feminine Men Study
A University of Aberdeen study is cited showing women prefer feminine men like Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom over traditional manly types.
March Madness Upsets
The crew discusses bracket surprises, including Ohio beating Georgetown and San Diego State losing to Tennessee, and shares their own picks.
Sienna Sings Challenge
Listeners guess whether Sienna can sing karaoke songs like Twisted Sister and Whitesnake; she nails each performance, winning the game.
Meal Breakers Call-In
Callers share disgusting food experiences that would make them stop eating, ranging from hair in ice cream to a band‑aid in a drink.
Mikey's Personal Redemption
Mikey reveals his past of childhood sexual abuse, addiction, and low self‑esteem, and how faith helped him turn his life around.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLaurenJamieSiennaJesseJayToddRebeccaCesarMichelle McGeeVeronica DanielsGloria AllredTiger Woods
40,103 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. What that means to live studio audiences. That's right. We've got a full house here today. Packed. And if you want to know more about that, and if you would like to be a member of our live studio audience, it's called an M1 backstage pass. You go to MikeyShow.com, you can find out more about it. Mikey Show listeners are M1s. When they call into the show, they turn the radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. That's what makes you an M1. Along to M1 Nation, and you're probably on the Mikey Show fan page on Facebook. Search us on Facebook under the Mikey Show. You'll know which one we are. We have about 7,300 fans currently. So much to talk about. First, let me introduce the show. My name is Mikey. I am 39 years of age.
And believe it or not, even though I am, whatever that monitor is, it's turned up too high. It's turned down a little bit. There you go. Thank you. A little bit more. A little bit. There you go. Even though I am 39 years of age and Hispanic, I sunburn, okay? Which is really awesome. Went golfing with Woodsy the other day and got myself a little bit. With the sunburn. Best of both worlds. That's right. But I'm getting better. Love it. Woodsy is our sports guy. And there's something really cool that you're going to love coming up here that we're going to be talking about in just a second, Woodsy. Can't wait. Because Woodsy is, I say this all the time, Woodsy is our guy's guy. He's the guy that's into sports. He's the guy that is a pretty charming dude. And definitely what the book The Tipping Point would call. An igniter, okay? An igniter is a guy that through his sheer personality kind of gets people to start doing stuff like saying git. You know my man card's been called into question as of late. I know. And really I'm not too happy about it. I saw it. Did you see it? I saw it. I thought it was, you know, I said...
Now, what's the over under on amount of minutes until Woodsy reacts to this guy? I really want to know what he said. I have no idea. And I said my over under was 24 hours. 24 hours. 15 minutes. Yeah. Well, I didn't know how long it would take you to see it. I found it. As he uses his Burt's Bees. Yeah. Chapstick. It's just chapstick. What did he say? Guy was busting Woodsy's chops saying, you know, you know, what do you call a man's man? He uses moisturizer. I have dry skin. This is true. He has a point. Yeah. Does he have a point? Yes. Does he? When Woodsy doesn't like something, that's something else I'm picking up on now. My wife will say. Defensive Woodsy? Yeah, defensive Woodsy. You know, my wife will say, you know you're going to make us late. And I'll go, am I? Am I? Oh, stop. You're pulling that card. Am I? It's working. It's so funny. Don't use that. And she laughs. She laughs immediately. It's diffusing. For now. She recognizes what it is.
She's doing it, too. My wife has given me more gits. And I'm like, and I go, and I do a Woodsy thing where I go, really? Really? Really? Well, Woodsy's wife is in the room. How do you feel about that, Jamie, when he says git? Jamie, come up to the microphone. Jamie's wife has flown into town from Dallas. Woods' wife, Jamie. Yeah, what did I say? Jamie's wife. Jamie's wife. Yeah, thanks, pal. He's been saying git forever. Jamie's wife, Woods. Yeah, Jamie's wife, Woods. He's been saying that forever, right? He has. Yeah. And do you pick up on any of those woodsy-isms or no? I do. I caught myself talking this morning saying, really? Really? Yeah. She didn't do any of the other ones? There's about a million. She won't do get. She does not like get. No. No? Because it's like, hey, will you help me bring the groceries? I'm a get. I'm watching TV. She's not a fan. She doesn't give you a get for anything? Never. No? She never tells you a get. You don't give your wife a get. A hundred you do. 100. Oh, it's great. So our number here is 570-194-90. You could also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. She is the blondie, sort of all-natural eating gal sitting to my right.
And she also believes that her nickname Pepper will not stick. It won't. Good morning, Pepper. Good morning, Pepper. Even though every time I text her or email her, it begins with pepper comma. So, you know, whatever you want to say. The last time we all went out to eat, Lauren had like five pieces of pepper in her teeth. Apparently, none of us noticed, but she was mad that we never told her. Way to call yourself out. Yeah. That's right. It's really great. It's like when nobody notices the zit on your neck and you're like, yay. Oh, I'm the first to point it out. It's the preemptive strife. You guys see this? See, look, before you start ripping on me. No, I'm not that person. I am. I will not point it out. Oh, I will. I want nothing to do with what's on my face. I'll go, have you met my friend? You go, who? This guy right here on my neck. He's got his own zip code. You guys all do. Yeah, we do. Say that. Absolutely. And they're always tiny and I would have never even noticed. Like I'll walk in with a... like a shirt that's too small. First thing I'll do when I walk in, look at this shirt. It's so tiny. Look at this, you guys. Guys, look now. Look now. Yeah, hey, look who was at Baby Gap. I was laughing point. Yeah, you got three minutes. Do your worst. Yep. Sienna is our news girl, and she is 24 years of age, and she is recently married. She is Mrs. Farrar. Yay. I love it. And she's from LJ. She grew up in LJ.
And knows a lot of the people in LJ. It's like a lot of the people know each other like it's a small town. Every time I go to the grocery store, I know someone practically in every aisle. For sure. For sure. Let's see. And then we got Jay out today. So our boy Jesse is filling in today, which is cool. Jesse, good to have you. Good to be here. Jesse kills it, man. He filled in like that first time from the very first time. He was just like killing it, man. So Jesse will be in here. helping us out today, which is cool. The big news. Oh, first of all, before we get to anything, I want to let people know about something real. And I'll mention this a few times throughout the day. There is a really cool thing that's going to be happening tomorrow called Run for Chelsea, where they're going to finish Chelsea King's run. And it was a Facebook thing that's really, really blown up. It's happening tomorrow. Starts at 9 a.m. And basically what people can do is you can walk or you can run the three-mile route that was mapped out by her high school cross-country coach. And the event is free. Parking is going to be very limited around Lake Hodges. So they do have permission from North County Fair to park in their mall parking lot. And then they're going to provide free shuttle service from the mall to Lake Hodges. And there's going to be a quick ceremony that starts at 9 o'clock in the morning.
And what they are asking people to do is wear blue or orange or anything that they're comfortable in. Children, pets, welcome, the whole thing. And it's going to be really, really cool. And that's going on tomorrow morning. Really cool event and would love to get people out there for that. So the big news this morning, if you haven't heard, is the news. With Tiger Woods, right? Yes. Another woman has come forward. It's a pretty well-known woman. She's a former porn actress. And she says that she's had a three-year relationship with Tiger Woods. That's right. Weird. She's now posted text messages online that he has left her and some very, very intimate ones. There's 120 text messages displayed on this website. And, yeah, it's between July and October of last year. Very, very explicit. Yeah, and they provide information like on hotel room numbers, times of meetings, instructions on how to be discreet. Wow. They're all up. Well, here's the thing. Everybody knows what Tiger did was really bad, wrong, and everything. But it doesn't change the fact that Veronica Daniels is taking the opportunity to promote her website.
And these are some very interesting clips that you're going to hear from CNN. Because basically the lady that's interviewing her doesn't have any problem getting under the hood with this one. No way. So tell me about your motivation here, Veronica Daniels. In general, what's your aim and goal in releasing these texts? What do you want? I wanted the public to know the truth about mine and Tiger's relationship and the degree of sexual appetite that he had. Because we don't already. Jeez, I know. We haven't figured that out from the sex camp that he had to go to. Way to beat a dead horse. We haven't figured that out. And we also, she wanted the public to know about her and Tiger's deal. Because we were all going, man, I really wish she would call me and let me know. I'm dying to know what the deal is between them. All 120 text messages. Very shocking news. Right. That he wasn't as perfect as he tried to make everybody believe that he was. But you did. I think we get that.
I don't think that that's been lost on anyone. He's already publicly apologized. So nobody knew about this woman until yesterday. Is that the case? No, I think we did know. But now we have the proof. She posted it all with proof yesterday. Now we have the proof. Well, and wait till you hear. Great timing. Wait till you hear about the proof. Yeah, and they pulled the timing into question. We have a news conference a month ago where you expressed a lot of that. Why wasn't that enough? Why do you need to come out again? I've been holding this stuff in for a while, and I just thought it was time to just let it all out. Really? What she got going on? Well, I think she's trying to promote a website is part of the deal. Probably worked. It just happened to be a coincidence that I released my website around the same time that he was going to be in the Masters. Yes, so the Masters is coming up, and it just is a coincidence, she said. That her website's being released. So you're saying it's not time to his return to the masters. Yeah, it was just purely coincidental. Sure was. Can you hear her? Why is it that your attorney, Gloria Allred, is distancing herself? We called her and she wouldn't comment on this at all. Did she not want you to release these? I'm not going to comment on that. How come? Mike, can you picture on the phone with her webmaster? If you don't have this website up in the next 24 hours, I'm going to kill you. Right.
Get this thing out. The Masters is in like two weeks. She's like, and is there any way for you to tie the word the Masters into the website? A side note to this story too, Mike, is that I was born yesterday. Yes, that's a very good side note about that. Amazing. Exactly. Now. Another reason she's also coming out is because she wants an apology from Tiger, and she wants the world to know that. She actually told CNN, I would be open to a telephoned apology from Tiger, but I really feel that I deserve to look at him in person, face to face, in his eyes, because I did not deserve this. How about a text? Yeah. Does that work? No, he won't even reply to her text. Wait, she didn't deserve it? Yeah. Isn't she part of, you know, the problem? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. She's not the wronged one. I mean, they're both... You know, that's the deal. Well, and you kind of see that in this next clip. This next clip is kind of interesting. The next clip talks about, well, why did you only release Tiger's portion of the text? Your texts to and from are not there. So it's hard for us to put it in context. For example, if you had texted, text me your naughtiest, most politically incorrect fantasy, then.
that response would be more understandable. But out of context, it is really kind of shocking. Why didn't you include your own texts? My texts were responses to things that he said. And those were not the text messages that were the explicit ones were not, you know, me fishing for information or me leading him to say things. Those were him asking me questions on what I would like to do and what he wanted to do to me and if I was okay with that. I think you're missing the question here, Ms. Daniels. The question that we're asking is, why is it that you have deleted your portion of the text? Okay, there's one where you say on your site, you quote Tiger as saying, okay, now you're talking. So he's saying to you, okay, now you're talking, but we don't know what you're talking about. Do you see the problem there? Yeah, I understand that some of the messages have been deleted regarding to there were because my phone couldn't hold all the information that I was getting that particular phone. So some of the messages were deleted. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Ms. Daniels. So you're saying that your phone couldn't hold all of the messages, but they could hold all of tigers. And they're all saved, ready to go, quote unquote, on her website. Was this a particular kind of phone where?
It didn't have enough memory for your particular text. Exactly, Mike. Exactly. It's a magic phone. It's a magic phone. It's a particular type of phone. Now, let me just ask you this. You said some of them got deleted, but chronologically, they're not going to delete selectively. They're going to delete according to the most. In other words, what I'm trying to say to you is I'm not. going to let you out of this there's no way you're going to get just glaze over this right i have to continue to ask you about that recent will remain and and the older ones will be deleted so you can't really say that you delete that that the ones that have you talking are are are going to be deleted automatically but his response to you is not going to be deleted that doesn't make sense to me No, and the particular cell phone that these messages came from was not high-techy phone. It wasn't a Blackberry or anything. I can't listen. It was just a real cheap phone. This is painful. And a lot of the messages that I sent did not save in the sent box. It only saved, like, it did the chronological ones that were the most recent were still there. The ones that were the most, you know, the oldest were. Do you hear the interview? Well, neither of us are cell phone experts, so let's just move on.
Oh, dude. I don't want to hear her voice ever again. I'm so tense. Gloria Allred's at home doing shots. Tequila. Donk, donk, donk. Why did I take on this girl? Why did I take on this girl? Mm-hmm. Oh, my goodness. So, anyway. Did they not prepare her for that question? I mean, come on. See, if she had had Gloria Allred, Gloria Allred would have prepared her. But she, you know, Gloria's like, I don't want any part of this. You look ridiculous doing this. Why are you doing this? And she's like, come on. Come on TV with me. Dude, that is a backfire is what that is. It's a giant backfire. Ultimate backfire. Okay, so here is the good news. The good news, and we're going to be getting to the tournament in just a bit. Tournament started yesterday, March Madness. This is some good news. Apparently, women prefer something very particular, Sienna. Who is this good news for? It's good news for a lot of men. You in one. Why do you say that? Because you guys love to moisturize. You have more products in your bathroom than Lauren and I combined. And that's only one of you. Well said. Probably every woman in this room since we have a live audience. Okay. Combined. Okay. Fair enough. I get what you're saying.
We have a couple of products is what you're saying. Yeah, but apparently you guys are not alone. I'm sorry to say. Told you. Freaking told you. Well, historically, you know, women have always liked the man's man. Well, historically, that's what we've thought. Exactly. Historically, the thought has been that women love the guy's guy. The square jaw, the low brow. Right. How about the three jaws and the high brow? Apparently, maybe you're right. No, researchers at the University of Aberdeen did a lot of studying on feminine men versus the manly man and whether or not women prefer either. And they tested 4,500 women from 30 different countries. Came to the conclusion that the girls like the feminine men. Really? Define feminine. Yeah, what does that mean? I mean, feminine? Do they give a description? Because I'm not feminine. Yeah, I'm not feminine either. But I think what they mean is that it's just, it says more about what they don't want than what they want. In other words, without going into who that guy is, it's easier to say, they're not really into the squared jaw. Marlboro man type. Marlboro man that we always thought.
That's exactly what it is. They gave Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Those were the examples of the feminine guys. Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp. Clark Gable. Really? Did you just compare? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mikey's Orlando Bloom, I'm Johnny Depp. Yeah, I look in the mirror and all I see is Orlando Bloom, except 5'6", bald, Mexican, and very overweight. Almost identical. I don't know, dude. I think that women definitely like the manly of guys. I think so, too, Frankie. I don't think so, Frank. Dude. All I'm telling you is women dig me, man. And I dig them. I love women. I'm digging on you, Frankie boy. Don't. Why do you guys, why do you not like her? It's not that I don't like it. Come here, you. No, don't. Come here. Don't do that. Don't touch me, man. Frankie boy. She always does this thing, dude, which she always wants. Don't do that. Don't. Don't. You guys are from the same place. You like the same things. Yeah, we like the same things. Like guys? I like kissing, Frankie boy. Say what? I like kissing. Yeah. Come on, fuck her up. No, no, I got saws right now. You don't want to. You got saws? Well, get the hell out of here, then. What are you doing in here? I'm fine, man, if I don't sneeze or whatever. Frankie. Beat it, pal. You want my antibacterial hand gel? No. Stay away. All I was trying to do was make the point that chicks really like me, man, and I like them a lot. I really love women.
Making love to women. I like making love to Frankie Boy. All right. That's good. Don't. Don't. Let's take it to the house. Don't take it to the house. You guys are a really cute couple. No doubt. I don't. She's not my type. She's got brunette hair. She's a blonde. Naturally. Yeah. Naturally. I'm a blonde Frankie. That's right. I can always go back. Chill out. Frankie's getting all upset. So agitated. Well, there's the news that we all have been waiting for. I told you. Lauren's picking the music today. Little talking heads. Yeah. Must be the place. Why? Why? Is there something? She knows I hate him. She knows you hate talking heads. How can you hate? How can you hate talking heads? Very pleasant. So when we come back, Woodsy is going to fill us in on what's going on in the tournament. I want to catch up with how the Mikey show is doing in the tournament because we have a little, a little wager that involves listeners and listeners can win. Buy our picks, so we'll fill you in on all of that. Coming up. You're listening to The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Do you think blue?
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It means you call into the show, you turn your radio down, you get to the point, you don't cuss. That's what being an M1 is. Lauren's picking the music today. This is Sigur Rose. Yes. Did I say that right? You did. All right. This song is, they sing with a made-up language, correct? She was just telling me about them while we were off the air, that they sing with a made-up language. And so this song is called Syrah. Yep. Exactly. It's amazing. Yeah, it comes from Rivendell, which is close to Mordor. Icelandic. It's Icelandic. That's great. Uh-huh. What is happening? Something that's never happened before. This summer, it's a story of Icelandic love. Meet Nookno. When passions begin to fade. Nookno. for the summer. But this will be a summer that Nook never forgets. God is genius. It's a beautiful song. It is. It really, really is. It sounds like it would be great in an Icelandic love story. You want to hear a beautiful song? Yeah. What's that? I don't know. He just like pointed to you. I think I know what you mean. That's what I mean. Did you mean that? That's what I meant. That's what you meant, dude.
That is a beautiful song. Come on. That's gorgeous. Do you hear the vocals on that? Yeah, they're Icelandic. Bracket busting Thursday. Already, first day of the tournament. I'm toast, I think, already. My brackets are already done. 14 seed Ohio beats number three, Georgetown. Really? That was great for my brackets, as was Murray State, who was a 13 over Vanderbilt, who was a four. The San Diego State Aztecs lost to Tennessee, so I'm sorry. And the kid in the champ. I think that every one of us, except for you, Woodsy, took San Diego State because we couldn't bring ourselves to pick Tennessee. Well.
That's a great segue because the kid and the champ had a bad day yesterday. My Irish lost to Old Dominion. ODU. And his Longhorns lost to Wake Forest. The champ being my friend Mark Bauman in Dallas. A bunch of clowns. I'm done with it. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. It was a really, really exciting day in the tournament. The Chargers made a move yesterday that actually was a really good move. They traded third-string quarterback Charlie Whitehurst to the Seahawks. I'd never heard of. Charlie Whitehurst? Never heard of him. Yeah, being from San Diego, Charlie Whitehurst was a, I think he was like a six-round draft pick. The thing that's amazing about that is we get a third-round draft pick for him next year. He never played one down a football. Dude, and you move 20 spots up in the second round this year, too. Really? Yeah. Like, it was a great, great move. So the Seahawks signed this guy. They gave him $5 million for two years. He never started in a regular season game for the Chargers. He played in preseason, but he never started a game. Luckiest man alive. Luckiest man alive. We talked yesterday about Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington admitting his cocaine use in the middle of last season. So he had a tough day. He had to go address his team. And this is what they said, Mike. Cut one. I got a great bunch of guys out there, and they supported me wholeheartedly. There wasn't one guy that had a negative thing to say, and I gave him an opportunity.
to feel the way they feel. Don't draw on the emotions that I'm showing you right now today. I want you to draw on your real feelings. And per man, they supported me. That's pretty solid, man. And he, you know, being from Texas and watching a lot of Rangers baseball, he's a genuinely good guy that made a mistake. And hopefully he gets through it, man. So Michael Jordan has a new job title. He is now officially the owner of the Charlotte Bobcats. He's got longstanding ties in North Carolina. As you guys know, played for the Tar Heels, won a national championship there. Now he is an NBA owner. Here he is talking about what kind of owner he's going to be. Cut to. I'm closer to the Mark Cuban type. You know, where I'm passionate. When you see me down on the floor, I may yell at the referees every now and then. I've yet to get a technical, which is good. Yet. Yet. So I am a hands-on owner, but yet I'm an understanding owner because I was down in that same position a lot of these players are in. I bet he wins. Guy's been down in the trenches before, man. You know, the thing is, though, a lot of those guys that they go, they're phenomenal NBA players like Isaiah Thomas. Terrible front office guys. Terrible. So the jury's out. But knowing MJ, he's not going to fail at anything. The dude's the best. A couple of NFL notes to report. Word on the street, Mike, is that there are a couple of new suitors for Adam Pacman Jones. Are you kidding? No. The Lions and the Niners.
So he needs to make it rain because this is this guy's last shot. Wow. That's it. No more. No more. I mean, this is it. Last chance. And the New England Patriots are getting stronger. They just signed Algie Crumpler, who's a really, really good tight end. He's a football player, dude. He's missed five games in the last 10 years. He is good. That guy, he's money. And that is Woods on sports today. So a couple of things. First of all, I. Went and, oh, I want to, yeah, I do. I want to do the brackets. Let's cover our brackets because we didn't cover our brackets. How did we do? Because we're playing for listeners. Yep. And so how did we do yesterday, Lauren? Well, Mike, you and Jay are, excuse me, you and Jay are tied to the lead with 18 points. Shocking. Which is the most ridiculous thing in the world because me and Jay know the least about college basketball. I don't know anything. Can I give my predictions? Sure. I think Woods. He's going to win it. You do? Which I hope so. He's our sports guy. Yeah. I look really bad. Jay's doing okay in the first round, but I'm pretty sure. You don't think UC Santa Barbara's going to take it to the house? That's who he thinks is going to win the whole thing. He has it in the final game. 16th seed. Yeah. And then I'm in last place with 10 points. Woods is the next to last with 12 points. And Sienna is behind you and Jay with 16 points. In our pool. You guys will do great.
Nice job, Todd. Way to go, Todd. That's right. Sienna's husband picked her stuff. I'm sure you had some sort of input, right, Sienna? No, I was sleeping when he did it. So there it is. Yesterday, I went back to the gym to work out again. Yeah, it was really wonderful. I wish I could do that. What I do is I wear the tight little... Under armor, spandex, under short, leotard shorts. Do you know what I'm talking about? The bike shorts. The bike shorts underneath. Okay. Underneath. Scared me to death. Oh, really? You thought I'd walk in there like a fat little Lance Armstrong? Yes. They'd be like, no soliciting. We don't buy tamales here, first of all. And it's not New Year's, so you only sell those during New Year's. A little tank top on. Yeah, a little tank top.
The shorts. Nobody make Mikey and nobody do a picture of Mikey in bike shorts and a little black tank top doing squats. Make it a one piece. Yeah, one piece. M1 Woodchip's in the studio. He's here. Thankfully, he's not working on that right now because he's in the studio. I'm so self-conscious when I'm in the gym. How could you not be? Oh, man, dude. Well, first of all, there's such manly dudes in there. No, I hate it so much. They're six foot one. They're ripped, and they're in there, and they've got, like, 80-pound barbells over their shoulders, and they're doing squats with them, okay? And then there's a guy, and he's over, and he's doing, like, chest press with, like, 70-pound dumbbells. In each hand. Yeah, in each hand, just crushing them. And I pick up the 15s, you know, I'm like... It's being in the gym.
If you're not that guy, it's a really difficult thing. It's the worst thing ever. That's why I don't go. I had a personal trainer, too, Mike, and it's embarrassing. Yeah. It's embarrassing. I'm just not strong. I want to make an appointment for 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Mm-hmm. You know. I'll go with you then. I'm telling you. It's just so competitive, and there's always, like, these hot Brazilian girls that are in there wearing nothing and hoop earrings with their hair down, running. Which gym do you go to? Yeah, where's this? Yeah. It's like, man, how do I compete? It's ridiculous. It's the truth. Hey, speaking of, we were talking about, the other day we were talking about going to games. Whether or not we prefer going to a game, watching a game at home, whatever. A lot of times watching the game at home is a lot better because you don't have to put up with the sports guy. And there's a lot of different sports guy, sports gal at the game that is tough to put up with. There's a lot of unspoken sports etiquette that we should just know. Yeah. None of it ever happens at like a Raider Charger game. Never. Sure. It's all the stuff that doesn't happen at a Raider Charger game. Gets along. Everyone gets along nicely. Yeah. So, Woodsy, give me an example of bad sports etiquette. And what I want people to do is you can call us and say, oh, you forgot this guy. 570-1949 or text us, 949-MIKEY.
At gmail.com. Go ahead. Well, you know, I'm a Yankee fan. Yep. And living in Texas, you know, most of my life, when the Yankees come to town, I go to the games. Right. And, yeah, I'm obnoxious. I mean, obnoxious to them because here's what I do. Jeter gets a hit. I go, yeah. That way, DJ. Hard claps. That's it. Paddles. That's all I do. Paddle claps. I don't stand up. I don't go, yeah. I don't point at people. I stand up. I root for my team. You slap those big meat pancakes together. Just like that. How loud is that clap? So loud. My wife calls them the paddles. Yeah. Put your paddles away. They're so loud. So I clap. And without fail, in the last 10 years, every game I go to, I get in a fight. Weird. With some hayseed that's like, you know, some redneck Texan is like, sit down, boy. I'm going to drag you out of here. Really? All right, easy, Toby Keith. You'll be fine. Okay? Take your Texas flag shirt, dude, and beat it. All right? Drives me. It's an embarrassment. Woodsy, don't you know that Toby Keith is going to be there? Don't you know that that's going to happen? You do. I'm still going to root for my team, dude. And the last thing in the world that's ever going to happen is that that guy is going to say that and that you're going to be real quiet. Right. Just keep it.
Keep it shut. There's no chance. So you ask for it, basically. Basically. By clapping for my team. But really loudly. Who cares? I'm yelling. Really loudly. Way to go, Derek. Way to go, Derek. Good job, buddy. You can just be like, yes, to yourself. It's not as fun. I am a passionate guy. And I love, love my team. Love my team. Lauren, who else? Who's the other guy? Well, I'm kind of, I do what Woods does, too, sort of. I'm a Philadelphia fan, some of the most hated fans. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And when I go to the Padres game, one time I went to the Padres game and I was cheering for the Phillies. And they were clearly winning, so we got up during the eighth inning and left. I heard the people behind us go, ugh, finally. Yeah. So isn't it the worst? Yeah. It's the worst. Were you wearing all your Philly stuff? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Oh, my goodness. I'm so proud of you. Who else, Sienna? What about the people that when you're sitting down? Because you know what? Those little seats are so small. And the people behind you put their feet on your seat. Oh, yeah. It's like, dude, get. Get. Get. I'm trying to sit. And every five minutes, you lurch forward because they press on the back of the seat. You make it so dramatic. Like, oh, ow! You do a Gary Woods on it. My dad. Ow! God!
No, I turn around and give him the death glare. Like, if you do it again. Right. How about you take your kid? Oh, the cusser. And the cusser's there, yeah. It's a game. I cuss at home like a sailor. Like a sailor at a game. I've never said a cuss word. Ever. Yeah. Ever. Ever. Have I? I don't believe that. Ah, Jamie. Jamie. Ever? I don't think I have, have I? Wood's wife. Live at a game? I had a game? She just said, you've said a cuss word before, and that translation is, you've said a cuss word a million times. That's basically all you say when we're there. I don't think I have. Yeah, because the little ears are there. I know. I love kids, so I would never do that. You want to be cool with the little kids, you know? I understand, but it's like, man, don't ask this guy who loves his team and is just in the moment.
I'm going to feel bad for that guy. He's at a game. No, not the cussing. You mean the cussing? So you're saying the cussing's okay? No, I mean, I wouldn't want to do it, but I wouldn't get mad at the guy who does. You've got to realize that you're in a, like, that's fine if you're in your house with your boys. That's totally cool. But when you go to a public place where, not only is it a public place, but it's a public place where, for a lot of times, It's like a little kid's first experience. And I imagine the Padres games here are much like the Texas Rangers, where it's very family-oriented. You're not on the East Coast. New York and Boston, anything goes. For real? And I mean anything goes. For sure. I've heard at Yankee Stadium, when they're playing the Red Sox, it's MF and FU, and it's nasty. Really? Awesome. I kind of take that back. At Petco Park, when the Padres are playing, I don't think you should cuss because there are so many kids. But at the Charger games, not as many. And people get way more rowdy at Charger games. I can't wait to go next year. I can't wait to see what it's like. Yeah. Just don't go on the Raiders there. I have to. I have to see that. Mike, I have to see it. Dude, if you go, we're going to put you in a cage. Well, I'm going to go neutral. I'll just go neutral. I'll be an observer. Yeah. I thought he was going to say I'm going to go nude. That's Mikey. That's not me. Whatever. You know that.
It was my own house. Mikey likes to lie naked in his house when company's around. No, not when... Please listen to the podcast from yesterday in the 7 o'clock break. 7.30 break. 7.30. Amazing. What about the bullpen heckler? Does that make you guys so uncomfortable? Oh, I love it. Oh, I get so uncomfortable. Hey, nice pitch, Sally. Yeah. You're looking a little sore. You're looking a little chubby, too. I love the bullpen heckler. Oh, it makes me so uncomfortable. I love it. 5701949. This is M1 Tree Wizard. You there? Yeah. What up? What up? Okay, so what do you kind of want your spin on this? What I've noticed, I'm a huge basketball fan. And sports etiquette at basketball games are slightly different than sports etiquette at baseball games. My belief is because there's a lot, a lot more good action in basketball games constantly, as opposed to the long periods of waiting at baseball games, which creates attention. You get people in the stadium voting or rooting for both teams. A lot of times, people will be rooting for the opposite team quite a bit, and it just seems to be that there's a lot of understanding and acceptance of that by the home team fans. I agree. Yeah? Yeah, I agree. 100%. I mean, and really, you know, there's certain sports like football. Like, I go to a lot of Notre Dame games, and, dude, it's rowdy. I mean, it's nasty, and it's...
It's cursing and it's, you know, all kinds of stuff. But I think you're right, man. With those more action-packed sports like hockey and basketball, there is a lot more acceptance of the other fan. M1, Brandon. Brandon, yeah, what guy are you thinking of? I'm thinking of the guy that likes to crud the rail in front of little kids. And then later on, he'll end up getting sloshed and there's beer all over both of you. He spills beer, the beer spiller. What about the guy that crashes? He's up on the rails in the game. You got kids in the front row and he's up in front blocking the view. I hate the view blocker. You got those guys. There's a lot of them. What about the dude that's walking down in front of you? You're walking down to your seats. This guy's walking in front of you. And for no apparent reason decides to stop walking. Oh, yeah. The stopper. Yeah, because maybe a cell phone is going off in his pocket. You got drinks in your hand. You got drinks. Ask him Sunday for Jake. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. And again, you overdo it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, and people will do it, man. It's the rudest thing in the world. Let's see. 570-1949 or text us 949-MIKEY. How about foul ball guy? What's that? How about foul ball guy? Mm-hmm. That will kill, like he will.
Step on your wife's leg. He will push your kid over. Punch you in the face. It's a lifelong dream. He'll shoot your grandmother to get a foul ball. Oh, yeah. It's the truth, right? Oh, dude. I mean, the hands, like, to the head move you out of the way. Right. Got to get that foul ball. Then they go scurrying under the seats for it. Brutal. It's nuts. That's what girls do when they try to catch the bouquet. And I do it. Get out of my way. I die. I am foul ball guy. You are? Of course he is. Of course I am. Oh, man. I'm get out of the way guy. Weird. Well, yeah. It's because I have no coordination. It's going to hit me. It's going to hit me. Well, I know I have no chance of catching it. I don't have any, you know, athletic ability. I got two. Write that down. Yeah? I got two. You've caught two? Two. Yeah, I've caught them with my face. I've got two. I've only caught one of those t-shirts that they fling out. You have? Yeah. I've always wanted to, I would step on someone to get a foul ball. You would? It's pretty solid. It's pretty solid to get it. 570-194-9. Okay, so the woman who is linked to Jesse James. Okay, this is, I don't know if you've heard about this, but Jesse James apparently in some way cheated on his wife Sandra Bullock. Which is pretty bad because first of all he cheated, but second of all because she was just kind of going on and on about him at the Oscars. Yep.
And he's cheated with somebody that's famous, Woodsy. Is she famous? Yeah, she's, I don't know. No. Tattoo person. She's not famous. I thought she was. Somebody bombshell, blah, blah, blah. I think she's... She's like a wannabe. She's not like an accountant or anything. I mean, she's like a... I think in whatever sector she's in, she's well-known for, but who knows what that sector is. She is tatted. She's very tatted up. And I mean tatted up. I read that it was in the stripper field. Oh, really? It's a good field. But I read that somewhere. It's not on my article I have now, but. I thought it was a tattoo industry. Well, she's covered in tattoos. Well, anyway, I don't know if you know this about her, but apparently she used to have a seminar teaching men how to approach women. She used to teach that. Wow. Got audio of it. And we'll do the audio for you here in just a second. Jose Gonzalez on the Lawrence Pick. We'll do that audio next.
Voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Ryan from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy... Mark tried them. What'd you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinate it for 24 hours and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour, spicy, all at the same time. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. This is awkward. Mamatesta Taqueria, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. Maybe I should write a jingle. Now you can.
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Switch to high-speed internet from AT&T. Choose any speed for just $24.95 a month for 12 months with qualifying services and a one-year term. That's a one-year price guarantee. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT or visit att.com slash legal speed. The new AT&T, your world delivered. Taxes, excessive usage, and other charges may apply. After 12 months, non-discounted rate for internet service applies. For details, visit att.com slash offer details offer in 71710. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public by being burdened with credit card debt. To aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344. We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344. 800-724-1344. Again, that's 800-724-1344. Honda. I think it should be bigger. Honda.
No, no, bigger. Honda. You know, I think we can do better. Honda. Mmm, I don't think so. Can we just get a little bigger? Honda. There we go. Let's go with that one. There's a really big thing going on at your Honda dealer right now. It's called Honda's Really Big Thing Sales Event. And Honda's not used to doing things like this, so there's never been anything like it. There's this special lease deal on the 2010 Honda Accord, which ALG picked for having the highest resale value in its class. And if you think about it, high resale value means high quality, the kind that lasts a long time, even though these really special lease deals definitely won't. The point is, this really big thing sales event is a great time to lease an Accord or a Civic, Insight, Fit, CRV, Pilot Odyssey, or Ridgeline, for that matter. Just go see your Honda dealer today. 2010 Accord, winner of the ALG Residual Value Award midsize car segment. Taylor love us. Taylor love us. Mama Testa Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? This report is brought to you by Turtle Wax. Make sure your car is ready for spring. For a limited time, find great deals on select Turtle Wax brand products at your favorite retailer. Plus, you can get awesome car care tips at TurtleWax.com.
Turtle Wax, making life shine. On the 5 southbound ramp to Pershing Drive, we've got an accident here. It's a car that hit that right shoulder guardrail. It is partially blocking the ramp. You'll find a delay as you approach there. The 8 westbound at Wearing Road, we've got something in the middle of the road. It's an unknown object in the number one lane. Be careful because it'll probably flatten your tire. This report brought to you by RedPlum.com. Discover a great place to find printable coupons, coupon codes, and saving tips online. RedPlum.com. You'll save on your favorites for groceries, fashion, local dining. Welcome back. Did we find out who this woman is that Jesse James was apparently seeing? Do we know what her profession is? There was a lot of talk about it during the break. You got a little help from an inside source. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. And it was not me. Maybe he should tell you. Yeah? Yeah. Why don't you let the world know? Who knew? Who knew? What do you know? Who is she and what does she do? I think she may be a dancer at Pure Platinum. Really? He knows. Really? How do you know that?
Well, I was looking for a hardware store and I stopped at this place that a guy was stood outside for directions. Right. And as I decided to go in and have a drink, there was a few dancers in the club. It turned out it was a strip club. Right. And there was a girl that was heavily tattooed there who I believe went by the name Avery. Uh-huh. And we talked about her visits to Brisbane. She was married to a tattoo artist. She didn't mention Jesse James, I have to say, but... You're saying that the similarity, there's a similarity? No, I think it's the same girl. No, it's her. Because you saw the picture. Because she goes by Michelle Bombshell, I think, is like her model name. Yeah. And she has a Facebook page. Yeah. And so I believe it is the same girl. Really? Well... Peter Platinum was the place. Well, apparently, Michelle McGee, also known as Michelle Bombshell McGee, says that she was, I guess, used to do a seminar. teaching men how to approach women didn't know that but here's some of it the unattainable absolutely the unattainable so drop the seed and pretend like you're not interested let her know you know i think you're sexy you know and then back off because then we start thinking we start thinking about what you said as soon as you act not interested the girl makes more of the aggressive approach like well he said it was sexy but now he's not acting not interested so we want the unattainable we want what we can't have jesse james released a statement that said that
Not everything that's being printed is true, but that he had a terrible lapse in judgment and apologized to his wife. He said there's only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that's me. You know, he apologized to Sandra and his three kids. He said it's because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way. This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond belief. I'm extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me. Yeah. Men's Health Magazine printed some areas of our lives, dudes, that are disgustingly germy. Oh, gosh. And as I was looking at them, I was like, didn't think about that. Yep, I guess that would be true. And as I name these, feel free to add some. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. What about your weightlifting gloves? Yeah, not a problem. Really? I don't have any. Okay. Don't lift weights. Yeah. I'm telling you right now, man, they get full of germs. I would have to take your word for it, dude. You don't have a pair? No, I don't have a pair. I'll get you a pair, man. Thanks. Definitely. What are you, large? Yeah, you know that. All right. Yeah, dude, you got to cut the tips off. Oh, yeah. That looks cool when people do that. Looks great, right? But you have batting gloves. I do have batting gloves.
I bet those are nasty, too. I'm sure. I bet they are. A Japanese study found that staph bacteria will bind very strongly to polyester, which is used in many gloves. Dude, you know what I do also? That just really creeped me out. What? I'll put my batting gloves on. I'll go hit, run the bases, whatever, have my gloves on, come back to the dugout, put a dip of snuff in. No. Yeah, put the gloves off. You need to get some antibacteria. Yeah, but I'm in a dugout. There's no way. Does anybody have any Purell? Is there any? No? You know it's in your back pocket. Pretty soon they're going to have those things bolted on the chain fence. Yeah, I get killed. I get killed enough for the things I say on this show in the dugout. Believe me. Hey, do any of you guys want to sign a petition to try to get a Purell thing installed here in the dugout? Because I was thinking about it. I think if we band together, we could probably get it done. I get so much grief for the things I say on this show. From those dudes, right? You have no idea. I walk in the dugout and I'm like, all right, five minutes. What did I do last week? Sally. Are you crying, dude? So awesome. I'm glad I'm a decent player. Oh, you'd get killed. You'd get killed. But they say that, yeah, the polyester, the various bacterias will bind to polyester. That happens with my vest all the time. In your dockers. I have a polyester vest that I wear. And a lot of times.
That wasn't a joke. Yeah, if you're wearing a polyester vest, that's a joke. That's funny. I'm only wearing a polyester vest. That was a terrible imitation of me. I don't sound anything like that. That's funny. Get. The only reason I have a polyester vest is because most of the time my corduroy one is at the cleaners. Yeah, but you don't wear that just naked on your chest, right? No. And you can wash it. Well, when you're home. Things are private. Oh, is that right? If I choose to wear the vest with no shirt on because the missus enjoys it, that's totally up to me. What about if company's over? You know what? You and Mikey have a lot in common. Oh, really? Is that right? Maybe Mikey will remember that later. Hoyle's our station manager. That's brilliant. That's. That doesn't make any sense. I know. He uses it in the wrong context. He doesn't know how to use it, dude. Another place that you're going to get a lot of germs is anytime you go shopping and you hold on to the cart or you pick up the thing where you're only going to put a few items in that little red basket with the black handles. They used to have in front of a lot of grocery stores, they would have the handy wipes. They still do. They do. A lot of places that I go to, they stopped carrying them there.
No, no, no. You still see them all over the place? Man, those are good, man. They don't have them at your Mercados? No. When I go to my little Mercado, they don't have them anymore. When I ride into my little burrow with my little... Yeah. My yellow burrow. That's right. Don't anybody put Mikey in a burrow in front of a Mercado. A little red basket. I'm sorry, a Mercado. Mercado. Wearing zapatos. That's right. So, yeah, if they have them, wipe everything down, man. They're filthy. You know why? Because moms are wiping their kids' noses and then they're shopping. And their kids got a cold. How did we ever survive without sanitizer? Seriously. We didn't have it when I was a kid. I wonder if the numbers on colds are higher or less now than when we were kids. I think we're all just lunatics now. I guarantee it's higher now. I think the germs are mutating and becoming stronger. I think so. They're getting stronger. Because of our antibacterial. Yes, exactly. But we still can't stop using it. We're over paranoid. We talk about it all the time on this show about how.
How did we ever make it through when we were kids? I mean, we didn't wear seatbelts. We didn't have car seats. We slept in the back window of our parents' car. We didn't use sanitizer. The playgrounds had asphalt on the ground. Our schools had asbestos dripping from the ceiling. We're okay. We made it. I, for a 20-minute drive home the other day, was very conscious of my right hand because I shook this guy's hand. And about 10 minutes before I shook his hand, he was like, Into that hand. And as he was doing it, I was like, we're going to shake hands. Within five minutes, I'm going to say goodbye to him. And I was trying to think, how can I go? Fist pound. Yeah. Elbow bump. Elbow bump. Yeah. Did you drive home with your hand hanging out the window? Pretty much. Pretty much. I would have pulled over like a jack in the box and washed my hands. I was totally obsessing on it. Got home, ran into the house, washed my hands. And it probably didn't make any difference anyway. But that's the way that we're all, these are where germs are. If you're just tuning in, this is Men's Magazine says, Men's Health Magazine says these are the worst places. Obviously, germ equipment, gym equipment, same thing. You're working out. You're touching a bunch of equipment that some dude was touching. He had a cold, wiped his nose, lifted weights. No problem. Yeah, but then you lifted weights and then you wiped your nose. If somebody grabbed my pack of smokes, then I'd be in trouble. Yeah. The gym, I think I'm safe. Yeah. I don't go to the gym. How about this one? You probably didn't think about this.
That restaurant menu that you're holding in your hands. I think about that every time. It has a lot of stuff on it. That's why I got to get myself a little pair of restaurant menu chopsticks so that I can open the menu. Well, they're supposed to wipe them down every day. Right. I had that job a long time ago. That was one of the side work that I had to do. Did you ever do that, Lauren, when you were working at? Yeah. You did? Not every day. But, yeah. We did it. Yeah. Let's see. M116, are you there? Hey, how's it going? Good, man. Where is a lot of germs? Money. I'm a valet, and I deal with a lot of money. And, you know, you never know where that's been, you know? Yeah. Always try to wash my hands, use some hand sanitizer. We got some at the desk. Yep. I will have to wipe it. Like, if I have to wipe my eyes, I'll take my shirt.
And rub my eye because I'm like, I don't want to put my fingers in my eyes. Money is filthy. Money is terribly filthy. I will lick that dollar bill right now. Please. Nothing will happen to me. No. Really? No. Give it to me. No. Oh, I'm going to freak out. I'm going to freak out. Oh, my gosh. Are you really going to do it? Give it to me. Lick that dollar. Stop it. Jamie, don't kiss him the rest of the day. Now I'm afraid I'm going to get that dollar bill at some point. Bunch of Sally's, all of you. I got to get my man card back, dude. Thank you. That's right. Even better. Would you just lick that thing like it's a stamp going on the back of an envelope? Look at Lauren. I need to sanitize my hands just watching that. I need to sanitize my eyes. I just saw it in the back of an envelope. Oh, this whole room erupted in grossness. Oh, my goodness. He did it like five times in a row. Deep tongue. Whoa. You ever think about this one? What about the flight attendant? I don't touch the flight attendant. I swear to God, I don't touch the flight attendant. I swear I don't. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. That flight attendant, especially if it's a long flight.
What she does is, is she hands out the little plastic cups with the ice in it, and then she hands you your Coke, okay? And then a little while later, she comes and she picks up your plastic stuff, all right? Which you've been wiping your nose and touching and drinking and touching and drinking, okay? She throws it away. Then... Sanitizes. Really? Yes. Hopefully. Really? Can't we just live in a happy world where you can just imagine she does? Well, you do the thing where you're like, Ding. And you call her over to him and say, are you like, can I get da-da-da-da-da? She goes, yeah, sure. She brings it back to you. No. It's all over her hands. Woods does care less. What are you going to do, dude? What are you going to do? You going to live in a bubble? Bubble boy? Yes. I want to be the boy in the plastic bubble. Like John Travolta. Yeah, bubble boy. I'm telling you. Yeah.
I live in plastic bubbles. If she comes back and hands me my pretzels, I want to put Purell on my hands. All over my hands. I mean, dude, if you really break it down, think about the guys that handled the chips that are going into the bag. I mean, it's just, it will drive you nuts. You'll never see anything. Sure it is. That's putting the chips in the bag? Who put the machine together? You are. I mean, really, dude. Seriously. What is normal? What is normal? It's all relative, dude. Yeah. Maybe with the guy that fills up your popcorn at the movie. You're going to be fine, bro. Define black and white. You're going to be fine. Why are we here? Yeah. What is oxygen, really? You're going to be okay, Sally. You're going to be fine. Okay. How about this one, dude? This one's filthy. Woods is going to live past all of us. 100%. I guarantee it. It's true. The guy just licked the $20 bill. He'll outlive all of us by 30 years. He'll be ripping the mic, dude, at 85 years old. It's true. Good morning, San Diego. 100% true. This one is bad. This one, I guarantee you, we all experience. You order a drink, and they put a lemon in it. You get an iced tea, whatever. They grab that lemon, and they throw it in your drink. They fart on your lemon? Yeah, they go. Squeeze it. Grab that lemon, grab that lime. They squeeze it. They put it in your drink.
What do you think that lemon's got all over it? What, Lauren? What are you telling me? Don't you dare ask for that lemon. Really? Don't you dare. I do every time. I want the lemon. I want a Diet Coke with a lime. Diet Coke with a lime. Don't do it. I've always heard this. I've always heard this. Bring your own lime then, pal. Okay? Bring your own lime. I might as well. Or even maybe ask for it. It's not a bad idea. Maybe ask for it on the side because even if they don't squeeze it in, because there's a... what do you call that a skin yeah on the fruit rind rind yeah rind you're not gonna scrub the out part outside part of it yeah so even if it gets dunked in by tongs you still have whatever's on the on the outside i like to bring a vegetable wash with me yeah do you guys have a cutting board i can use i brought my own limes really you yeah you could just ask for your own lime and then use your little water and a napkin and kind of wash it off Can I ask you a question? Would you judge me? I would get up and leave the table. No. I would. Would you judge me if I had Rebecca carry a lime in her purse? Yes. I wouldn't eat with you anymore. Yeah, you would. I promise you I wouldn't. You'd be my friend if I said, babe, can I have my lime? That's ridiculous. I wouldn't eat with you. I think I'm going to do it. No. Do it. I just thought about it. I'm 100% sure that I'm going to bring my own lime. You're going to bring a cutting board, too? No, I don't need it. He's going to pre-cut them at home. I'm not going to pre-cut them.
What do you do? Because then I would lose the essential oils by cutting it when I'm there. You're going to peel it? It'd be all dry. No. I'll take a full lime. I'll ask her to carry one lime with her. And then I'll take it out at the restaurant, take the knife, and cut it right there where I'm sitting. What about that knife? How do you know it's clean? That's not a problem. I'm not worried. You're not worried about the silverware. I'm not worried about that. It's been through a dishwasher. But the lime, yeah. Right? There's nothing wrong with that. No, not right. What's wrong with it? Just eat it. And stop being a Sally, please. How about this one? What about your contact lens case? Yeah, you got to clean that periodically. How is that the problem? Well, my eyes bleed every morning. 34% of contact lens cases tested were found to be crawling with germs. Perfect. Yeah, they are. Microorganisms can get in there and they live in there. You get those little eye problems sometimes. And you have to air dry it. Is that right? Yes.
take the little lids off, unscrew them, air dry it. As opposed to putting it in a dishwasher? Putting the lids back on with, like, solution still in it. I do that all the time. Yeah, don't do that. I reuse solution. Ooh, no. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no. You reuse. Yeah, I just, I'll take them out, put them in, and then the solution's still in there, and I'll just put them back in the lid. No, no, you do not. Can you believe it? I'm still here. Can you believe it? I'm still here. How do you do that? Hey, I made it. I think a lot of people probably do that. Yeah, they do. A lot of people that shouldn't be doing it do it. No, you shouldn't do it, but they do. I do a lot of things I shouldn't do, pal. That's the least of my worries, my contact solution. What about your shower curtain? What about it? Your shower curtain's full of a lot of germs. Oh, yeah. I'm not rolling myself in the shower curtain. That soap scum? Look at the bottom of it. The bottom of the shower curtain? Oh, yeah. That's bad, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you got to soak that thing in like a bucket of bleach or something. Sure, I'm going to soak it in the weekend. This is getting out of control. It's ridiculous. Is it? I don't think it is. It is. I think it's prudent. Your shower curtain? The liner. You said your wife has to carry limes in her purse now for you, dude. I'd say it's getting out of control. Is it? Yeah. One lime. I'll leave it. I'll leave it behind. It's no big issue to anybody. I'm mining my own beeswax. You will put it in your papers. Keep your eye on you. What about the germs?
On women's purses, that's going to be on your lime. It is not. Yeah. You'll skip the lime and you put it in a Ziploc bag. No, it'll dry. No, a whole lime. Before you cut it. And then you'll waste a Ziploc bag. Honey, can you... Then you'll choke a dolphin with that Ziploc bag. Okay? Honey, can you take the lime that I wrapped in tinfoil out of your purse? There you go. That's better. That won't look weird going through the scanner at the airport either, honey. I think that's a very prudent idea to soak your... The bottom of your shower curtain in bleach. Every once in a while. No. Or some kind of cleaner. I would rather get a new shower curtain. You're going to have to get one a lot. Just the liner, not the other part. M1 Sam's on the line. Hi, Sam. Hey, morning. Morning, M1 Cam. What's real filthy, dude? Well, I know for sure. I got a few of them, but I know for sure like a casino just seems real dirty. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The stuff, like the slot. Oh, the chips. The slots. But the biggest thing, my concern is going into the gas station. Anytime I go to grab the handle, I always pull my shirt up and grab it with my shirt. I don't know what my problem is. Think about that. It bothers me. And the gas pump, too. It's exhausting. I got to run. You guys, good listening to you. Good show. I like your stuff. Thank you, bro. Appreciate it, Sam. M1 Beezer. Hey, what's up, brother? What's real gross? Well, I want to do a...
adjust your mentality on the silverware thing, yeah, they wash it, but it also gets rolled by bussers who clean tables. Yeah, exactly. And they usually don't wear gloves when they do that. Yeah. And then on top of that, the rolled silverware is sitting there for a while, so you probably want to take some hot water. Stop, because it's creeping me out. Bring it in the thermos, boiled water. Hey, honey, we're going to go to the restaurant tonight. I need to grab my lime. Grab my silverware, grab my cutting board, and I need a pot of boiling, scalding water that you need to bring with you. We have a kettle. It heats in 60 seconds. Good. Now, if I were to take the kettle and I plug the kettle in and I boil the water, I could take that in the bathroom and I could take my dishes in there. Michael Esparza. What's the problem with that? That's a lunatic. But I do hate when you use the bathroom, wash your hands, take all the precautionary measures. And then there's a handle. Why do you have to pull out when you're exiting the bathroom? You should be able to throw the shoulder in. Yeah, so if you have to grab that grimy handle, it doesn't matter. Any precautions that you took, you got filth McGill before you. Use a paper towel. That's what I do every time. Flush with your elbow? I do if there's one around. Even I do that. Do you flush with your elbow? I flush with my foot. My foot. Kick it. Yeah? Yeah. Wow, that's a better idea than my elbow. And then I lick the bottom of my shoe.
What, do you use your chin? I use my nose. I use my tongue. You guys do what I do and flush with your nose? You guys do that? You can use your foot, Mike. I never even, I didn't, I didn't realize that. That's such, that's such a better idea. He thought he was so progressive. Yeah, I'm really smart. You guys use your elbow too? No, we don't. Do we use our feet? Flush with your gums? Me too. Me too. Me too. Flushing with the gums. Backing over and using your elbow. Flushing with the gums is a great idea. M1 delicious what? Delicious dish. There you go. What's got a lot of germs on it? Mikey, you have the boys. You have to have blankies laying around the house. You just skeeved me out. They just left my body. I was so confused for a minute when he said you have the boys. I was like, blankies? Yeah, the blankets the kids have. It's not. It goes right in their mouth after they're done eating. All that yummy stuff. You know, I love... the boys, but the boys have a lot of gross stuff, you know? And I gotta tell you, I think that probably the grossest is the drool. The bibs. The snot is way grosser. No, man. Yes. The snot is definitely grosser. I don't think so. It's going in their mouth. The other day, our babysitter, Amanda, picked Ryan up. Okay? She picked him up and put him over her head. Oh, no.
Oh, no. And I saw it go from his mouth into hers. And she went up. I went, oh, man. See, baby drool doesn't bother me. Me neither. Me neither. They're so precious. Oh, yes. It's made out of angel's tears. I was at Mikey's house, and I had one of the boys. I think I had Ryan. And Mike's like, hey, dude, you might want to be careful. He's just getting over. So I'm like, I don't care. Yeah, you don't care at all. And he's like, and I'm like, oh, he's so cute. Yeah. I go, bro, sterilize your hands, will you? Like, nah. Can you put some oven mitts on before you pick them up so you don't get sick? Mikey, they're your children. I know it, but you don't want their little germ magnets. You know what I mean? You love them, though. I do love them, but they are germy little germ maggots. Magnets. Magnets. Maggots? Not maggots. Not maggots. Magnets. Babe! I'm sorry. I meant magnets. Freudian slip. I knew it!
I knew it, you baby hater. Baby weirdo. He's called his own son a maggot. 570-1949. Anybody want to play the Incorporator? Yes. Have Woodsy doing it up. Are we taking calls now? Why not? 570-1949. Give us common phrases and words that Woodsy can work into a sentence. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. No one likes to walk away feeling they've just paid too much for their car. Now for a limited time, BMW is offering 0.9% APR financing on select certified pre-owned BMW vehicles. That's 0.9% for the finest German engineering performance and handling on a vehicle that's a similar price to other lesser new cars. That's 0.9% APR for a vehicle that's as well maintained as any on the road.
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We'd be fine if I were wearing any. And critics declare it's the funniest comedy since The Hangover. I think that Debbie here is one wicked hot box. Thanks, baby. And this chick of yours makes her look like a pig. What? She's out of my league. Rated on. Under 17. Not a minute without parent. Now playing. To see more, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. Check engine. So many things can go wrong with your car. That's why Pep Boys have been in one place. That can make them all right. Right now, it's dollar days at Pep Boys. Buy any three installed DFINITY tires. Get the fourth tire for a buck with instant rebate. Buy three, get the fourth tire for $1 instantly. Get a do-it-yourself five-quart Pennzoil oil change with Purolator filter. Just $15. Champion Platinum Spark Plugs are only $1 each. Also, two bottles of Black Magic Tire Wet. Only $3. Two bottles. $3, both offers after mail-in rebates. Don't miss Dollar Days at Pep Boys. Whether it's tires, parts, or service, your dollar never went so far. Call 1-800-PEP-BOYS or visit pepboys.com. Signs that say this is not an exit don't apply to him. His two cents have overruled Supreme Court decisions. If he rode in your car, its resale value would instantly increase.
He likes the word fog. Were you to pass him on the street and he didn't see you, you would still feel like he said hello and asked you about your day. If you were stuck in an elevator with him, you wouldn't want to be saved. Even his tree houses have finished basements. His business card just says, I'll call you. Most interesting man in the world. You can always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Angis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Thirsty, my friends. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality,
Visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. It's Bob Baker Mazda's Claim Your Mazda Sales Event with 0% financing on new 2010 Bob Baker Mazda 3s, Mazda 6s, and Mazda CX-9s. It's 60-month financing with no payment for 90 days. Unapproved credit equates to $16.67 per thousand financed. Test drive yours today at bobbakermazda.com. car country, Carlsbad, or anytime at BobBakerMazda.com. Mama Testa Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can beat Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's happening? This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning. Brought to you by Gwaiake Yerba Mate. It's a drink of champions, and I drink it daily, so you should too. Surf-wise today, looking at a combination of fading west-northwest wind and ground swell combos, again with some southwest being a bit more dominant now and filling in slightly since yesterday. That means cross-dup swell conditions and surf in just about all areas. Reef break's looking a little pot-shoddy now with some pop-up peaks and occasional length of ride to be had.
on the best of the sets as it starts to, you know, fill in more as the tide fills in more, I should say. Beach breaks and sandbars look pretty fun, though. Again, that crossed-up combination as well gives them some peaks and some lines so occasional bowl sections can be found. Mostly clear skies once again this morning, and we are grazed with nice winds, either calm or offshore. So as the morning continues, tide fills in. Look for some improvement. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, Check out one of South Coast Surf Shops 5 locations and call those locations for details on tomorrow's Grom Fest contest at PB Drive. Free contest for kids. Call the shops for the details. This surf report is brought to you by Gwaiake Yorobamate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This report is brought to you by Saquon Casino. Saquon Casino is where you're going to get more for your money, like all-you-can-eat prime rib and shrimp buffet. Served nightly, over 100 delicious items for just $10. Get away for the day at Saquon Casino. Well, if you are headed towards Palmar-Julian, bad accident here. Julian Road eastbound at Old Julian Highway. It's an overturned car. It's a solo car that rolled over. An ambulance is on the scene. They're helping someone right now. The tow truck's called. Eastbound lane's completely blocked.
On the 94 westbound after College Grove Way, an object on the roadway. It's an unknown object again. It's in the slow lane. Cars are swerving to avoid it. Be careful as you approach. And the 15 southbound before Pomerado Road, we've got a big piece of metal and a metal ratchet that's sitting in the number one lane. This report also brought to you by McDonald's. You can try McDonald's new sweet blended ice frappes made with a hint of coffee and topped with real whipped cream. Your day just got a little cooler and a whole lot sweeter. New frappes now at McDonald's. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The auto-tune stuff is great. You love it. Oh, I can't get enough of it. I think it sounds great in my ears. Wood. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! Sienna. I like a beer belly. I'm going to tell you that right now. And Jay. Howdy ho, neighbors. On FM 94.9. Yes. Obviously. It's a jam. Lauren's picking the music today to do the Incorporator unless Jay has... formerly or formally picked out the place per our program director. Now, I thought that Jay had, but I don't have anything from him. So, and I just assumed every, like somebody did, and we don't. So, I'll get Jay stuff on the line and find out what the deal is. But instead, we might have something else. We'll do something else for you. And we are going to do Sienna Sings in a little bit.
So that should be cool. If you haven't heard Sienna sings, it's pretty cool. It's greatness. It's pretty cool the way that we do it. We have Sienna. What we found with Sienna is that Sienna, there's a lot of music that was not necessarily in her genre of music. No. Sienna didn't grow up listening to a lot of hair bands. I didn't. I thought that was what was holding my ponytail, Mike. That's right. That's what she thought a hair band was. Stuff that holds a ponytail. A gun band, right? That's right. And so what we do is we present her on a screen. We just put up karaoke stuff, and she's got to sing it. But she doesn't know it a lot of times. Sometimes she does. Sometimes she kind of tricks us. I think I've known one so far. Yeah. She's like one for six. Yep. You knew Ozzy, Crazy Train. She's got some tricks up her sleeve. Every once in a while. I'm 24. I'm cold. I have to tell you that I'm disappointed in you guys. Why, Neil? That I wanted to hear the Incorporator. I know. I wanted to do the Incorporator. I like the Incorporator. Thanks, man. I can incorporate anything, too. It's a habit. Something I picked up years ago. Don't copy me. How many times have I told you, Woods, make her stop copying me? Stop it. Drives me insane.
You're Neil Diamond. Learn to ignore it. I can't ignore it. Lauren, do not copy me. Neil Diamond doesn't like to be copied. Why does she do that? You have to ignore her. You tune it out. It's like little kids. I'm a ridiculous clown. God, she didn't die. God, she didn't die. Made you say it. I can incorporate anything. Were you in sales? No. That's not where I learned the craft. Were you in recruiting? I wasn't in recruiting either. How'd you learn it? I was, uh... You were listening to the show? I just edited myself. I'm glad. I don't want to hit the dump button. Didn't want to hit the dump button on old Uncle Neil. But if you give me a word, I can incorporate it into a song. Into like one of your songs? Definitely. Okay. Would you like to hear me try it? Yeah. Absolutely. I'm going to do Sweet Caroline. Okay. So once you're just going to start throwing out names? Yeah, I've got some words. You're going to throw out words to me, all right? Okay. Don't get too fancy. I won't. But I can work in anything. Okay. Absolutely. First word is warthog. You ready? I'm ready. Let's see it.
Warthog, warthog. Wow. You are a filthy warthog. Potato. Potato, potato, potato too. Whopper. Whopper. Rastafarian. Rastafarian. It's supposed to make sense. Freckles. Jiggy. Jiggy. Jiggy, jig. Jiggy, jiggy. Bobber. Is this working good? Am I doing this? No, you need to make it sound smooth. You're just saying the words and singing them. Bacon, bacon. Photosynthesis. Photosynthesis tastes good. Bootylicious. Bootylicious. That's it, dude. You nailed that. I'm pretty good, aren't I? It was. That was awful. You know that that's not how you nail it. That guy gave me a run for my money. Listen, it's for a long time, kid. I know what I'm doing.
Did I ever tell you about the time I killed a guy in Reno just to watch him die? Did I ever tell you that story? It's actually a good story. Maybe it was and I forgot about it. Old Uncle Neil stops by every once in a while, sings some songs for us, and then puts on his little black cape and he leaves. Is it his cape or your cape? What are you talking about? Because you have capes and robes hanging in here. I don't wear capes or robes. Are you sure? His murse isn't hanging today. I know. It's because we had listeners in. Mikey, where's your mink stole? You got confused. You got confused. What tattoo? He doesn't wear a cape. You thought that was a cape. That was just a little black handkerchief. You just thought it was a cape. Mikey, how bad is that the tattoo's making fun of you for being short? I know, it's pretty bad. Did you guys see that the guy that played Davy Crockett passed away? Fess Parker. That's what his name? Fess Parker? Yeah. He's a good looking man. He was? Yeah. David Crockett? Died at 85 years of age. Was foul play involved? Why would you even think that foul play? Because that's the new bit in Hollywood. Yeah, really? Somebody the other day died and they're like...
Foul play was not involved. Yeah. You know why? Because he was 85 years old. That's why foul play was. Yeah, Peter Graves. You're not going to find any speed balls in his system. Okay? The guy's 85. I know. It's ridiculous. Well, he died yesterday on Thursday due to natural causes. When's the toxicology come out? Stop. Is it soon? I got to know. Because I got to know. Dude, it could be Yoda that died and they would be like, foul play is not suspected. We're not sure. We're going to wait for toxicology. I'd like to think that he was fighting a bear. That could be. No, it's one thing that makes it even more sad is it was his wife of 50 years. It was her 84th birthday. I know. That's the worst. That's so sad. Hey, something else came out about the Prius incident. The dude here in San Diego. Right. Yeah. Something else. Yeah. Well, we were starting to find out that it wasn't none of it was true. Yeah. And I was telling you this before the show, Mike. And I mean, maybe you guys will know, but I don't really understand if it makes a difference. But basically, they're saying, you know, the runaway Prius last week.
They found that there was a Border Patrol agent near the driver with his emergency lights on when this happened. Really? You know the cop, the CHP officer that directed him on how to pull over and how to stop the car? Yeah. Apparently, as he showed up, they saw a Border Patrol agent in an unmarked Chevy Tahoe with his emergency lights on from a rear window near the scene. So this Border Patrol guy knew what was going on. Yeah. But I don't know how this affects the case because it's already been closed. Toyota already said that they ran all the tests and everything and they couldn't repeat any of the incidents that this guy James Sykes said happened. Yeah. So, I don't know. The latest is that apparently there was a Border Patrol agent there. This is a really, really strange story. Natalie Holloway, who went missing... Five years ago. Five years ago. She was 17 years old. and she went missing when she went on a trip to the Caribbean with a bunch of her friends. It was like one of those senior high school kind of getaway things, right? In Aruba, yeah. And she went missing. There are now new developments in the case because of a couple that was there vacationing, right? Okay, this is really...
Really crazy. I mean, if this is true, this is nuts. This just came out. A couple named John and Patty Muldowney, they went to visit Aruba and they did a little swimming. They brought their underwater camera and apparently took a photo underwater. And in the background of the photo, it looks like a skeleton on the ground of the ocean. Well, not on the floor of the ocean. Yes, on the floor of the ocean. Right. And they're convinced this happened in October of 2009. They just discovered it. They brought the picture of the FBI. The FBI gave it to the lead agents down in Miami who handles the area of Aruba. Right. And the FBI said, yes, we got this photo. It looks strange. They turned it in to these people in Miami. And now the photo has disappeared. But it's posted online. I'll put the picture up. But, I mean, it's crazy. If you look at it... You can pass it around here in the studio for people to see. This picture that I have a printout is a black and white printer, so it's not that great of a picture, but you can definitely see it looks like a skeleton lying on the ground of the ocean with clothes on. FBI has it, and is the FBI going to gather the... Yeah, they're going to try to figure it all out, but it's pretty crazy. If that's true, I mean, five years later, a random couple discovered this. I smell balloon boy incident. You think it's fake? No way. You think they're faking it?
Isn't it sad that we just always have to say... Well, dude, how many people have looked for this girl? Yeah. And two people from, you know, St. Paul, Minnesota are swimming and, oh, let's take a picture at this exact spot and look, there's a skeleton with clothes on. Chances are pretty slim. Astronomical. No, it's true. No, it's true. No, no, no. I'm saying no, it's true what you're saying. It's crazy. Like, it's, I mean, it's really, really sketchy. The picture's nuts. I mean, it's like... Yeah. That'd be a lot of work to haul a skeleton. Where do you even get a skeleton? No, I mean, who's to say that they didn't Photoshop something? Who's to say Woodchip wasn't on it? You know what I mean? That's true. Well, Woodchip's here. But that'd be so easy to tell, right, Woodchip? Like, you can tell if something's Photoshopped. No, that's... It's hard. Did you not see the totem pole that I whittled? That's right, with his teeth. With my teeth on the Mikey Show fan page? Digitally, but if it's a printout, can you tell if it's been Photoshopped? I mean, you can edit it and then print it out. Can you examine a digital photo and tell if it's been manipulated? FBI can. Yeah. He said there's people that can do that. For sure. You would think that they would know that. We'll see what happens. My whole thing is that all the people that have been looking for this girl for the last five years, you know, Pat and Teddy. Right. Pat and Teddy went swimming and happened upon it. And this is right off the coast. Right. This is...
This is pretty good. From ESPN yesterday. President Obama is using the Telestrator, so he's got a little pen where he can write on the screen. You see the words come up on the screen. And he's making his picks for the tournament. I think Syracuse keeps on going. It's BBR in there. Yeah, I just completely messed that up, don't you? SYR. Come on. Sorry, guys. Malia and Sasha are going to tease me about this. What's the big deal? So he misspelled Syracuse. It's an easy word to misspell. I don't even think he misspelled it. He knows there's an R in Syracuse, right? I think he just forgot it. I think there's a difference. I forget the S on the end of my name all the time. Really? No, not really. I think she might believe anything. I think so too. She told us early on. She said that she's very gullible. I said, really? And the more we talk to her, the more we realize that it is true. Yes. She's pretty gullible. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I know you do. Very sweet. Do you know that Kraft is going to start cutting salts out in food? Is that a joke? No, it's for real. How psyched are you? Yeah. For the zero Kraft products that you eat. Yeah. Yeah. Now when she doesn't buy any mac and cheese, it won't have as much salt in it. It won't have any salt. It's going to be really good.
Yeah, they announced yesterday that they're going to be cutting the salt in food products in North America by an average of 10% over the next two years. Now, this is going to affect more than 1,000 products like Oscar Mayer Bologna, 17% less salt. Velveeta. How good are those Velveeta shells? For sure. Yum. 10% less salt. And they're not the only company to do this. Campbell Soup is also doing it. They're cutting a lot of sodium out of their products. Yeah. It's the way of the future. I know that Lauren has mueslix in cheese, only that cheese is actually coconut. It's almost exactly the same, though. It's almost exactly. It's made out of goat's milk and baby's breath. Right. Exactly. If you locked me in her apartment for a week, I probably wouldn't make it out. No. I'd probably just emaciate it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There'd be no way. There'd be no protein in there at all. I'd be eating couch, socks, whatever I get my hands on. Surviving on carpet. Yeah, carpet. For seven days. You'll probably find. Matt's stache. Stache. 100% there's a stache somewhere. No way. I know every crevice of that apartment. There's no stache. The floorboards come up. That's what you didn't know. He's got three musketeers under there. Like Tony Soprano, they always have cash laying around under the floorboards. Matt's got ding-dongs and Twinkies and regular chips. Doritos. Doritos. He's like, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. That's what he's doing right now. Yeah, right now he's drinking scotch and eating Doritos and Reese's peanut butter cup. If I find one piece of bacon in that house. She'll be like Joan Crawford.
What? What? Finding Doritos in the house. I said no Kraft products. Well, Lauren even said she has organic mac and cheese. I do. Tastes like feet. No, it tastes delicious. On his birthday, he gets one hostess product. And then we'll take the rest to charity. And he buys it for himself. Yes, Matthew. On your birthday, you get one hostess product, and then we'll take the rest to all the little boys and girls that don't get any hostess products, Matthew. You understand? It's so weird that I do that. So what are you going to pick? Are you going to pick the ding-dongs? I think I'm going to go with the ho-hos. No, okay. You get to keep the ho-hos. Then we're taking all the ding-dongs to all the unprivileged children that don't get any ding-dongs at all. I love it. Really, Lauren? I don't get to keep one ding-dong? Mike, you know I never give unprivileged children that chunk. Yeah, I know. Nice, healthy, organic. Here's some rice and barley, children. Feast. Feast on this. I'd be giving them kombucha. Dude, so a friend of mine calls me yesterday. My friend Adam calls me yesterday. And he goes, yeah, so I just finished downing a kombucha. And it was, he said that it was strawberry. It was strawberry flavored. Really? Yeah. And he said it took him an hour and a half to finish. Wow. That's okay. Some people drink one half in the beginning of the day. Yeah. The second half the rest of the day. He said it starts out.
He said, started out, it wasn't that bad. For those of you that don't know, Lauren likes kombucha. It's an all-natural sort of... Urine. Yeah, that's what it's like. It's like vinegar. With floating mushrooms in it. Yes, little chunks on the bottom of these little bits. Well, that's what he said. He said that was the hardest part. He said that when he started, that stuff doesn't float to the top, so it was easy to consume. But once he got towards the bottom of the bottle... It got harder because, you know, he started to catch the little bits, right? He was catching the little bits. It's shocking when you first do it, but it just kind of slides down like an oyster shooter. Any drink that has silt. Yeah. And that's it, Jesse. It's like silt. It's exactly what it's like. Sediment. And so he said that when he got to the bottom of it, he had to psych himself out. And then he was like, one, two, three, gulp. And he, you know, gulped it. And he said that it made him feel great. He said that it makes him feel. Great, but there's a price to pay. You have to drink kombucha. You have to actually drink the stuff. Yeah, I've heard heroin makes you feel pretty good too, dude, but I'm not going to go try that anytime soon. It doesn't have the negative effects that harrows. That's right. Allegedly. It's all good. Allegedly. She loves the kombucha. What about retching and vomiting right after drinking? Is that good for you? Because that's exactly what I would do. Iron stomach. Let's see. What about the Northern California kids that help their mom deliver a baby? Did you hear about that?
That's pretty awesome. This is pretty crazy, yeah. Two kids in Northern California, an 11-year-old little girl and a 9-year-old boy, both the children of the woman who was giving birth. She went into labor early. She was at home, and the little boy, the 9-year-old, called 911 for help, and he said, she started to bleed. And the 911's like, okay, you know, the ambulance is on the way. And then he followed saying, wait, the baby's already here. Oh, my. Yeah, so the 11-year-old daughter, Faith, had to, you know. Catch the baby. And the 911 dispatcher was like, you know, now you're going to need to wipe the baby down with a clean towel and tie a knot with a string to cut the umbilical cord. Wow. Like, they did it. And they did it? Yeah. And then the paramedics arrived and they all went to the hospital and everyone's fine. Wow. A nine-year-old and an 11-year-old? That's pretty gnarly. I would not want to deliver my mom's child. No, no, no. No, no, no. I wouldn't want to deliver my wife's child, much less my mom's, dude. Seriously. I don't want to be there for that. When the twins were born seven months ago, Rebecca wakes me up at 4.30 in the morning. And she says, I think it might be time. I'm not sure, but I think it might be time. And I go, okay. So I get up. I'm putting the...
You know, putting my clothes on. It was probably five minutes. We know that Mikey sleeps naked. Yes. You put your robes on. You're making it sound so weird, but it wasn't. I mean, it wasn't. There was nothing weird about it. I know. Just put it on my clothes. Make it sound like. So I get up and within five minutes, she's screaming. Oh, goodness. Five minutes. That's how long it took. She stood up and gravity. And that was it. Oh, my gosh. Oh, so we get in the car and we're driving to the hospital and she goes, I have to push. And I went, you're kidding me. You're kidding me. You said no. I said, no, you can't do that. Suck it in. I'm afraid you cannot do that because of the upholstery. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's a nice car. What are you thinking? Did you bring the towels, babe? Yeah. And so we got to the.
We got to the hospital. I walked into the emergency room. There was a guy sitting there doing crossword puzzles. Nobody in there. And I said, my wife's having a baby. And he's like, excuse me? My wife is having a baby right now. Two babies. Two babies. And he says, okay, we'll be right with you. And I go, no, no, no, no. You don't understand. Like the baby's coming out right now. And so he went outside. He took one look at her and he goes, oh my goodness. Like he figured it out as soon as he saw her. And the babies were born like that. Oh, you mean she's having the baby. Oh, I didn't understand. I thought you were going to make love. Right. And then she's pregnant. Guys are trying. You're trying right now. See how it goes. That kind of deal. So the other day we were talking about how Facebook is now the most viewed website in the world. Knock Google off. I mean, you know how many people go to Google. More people go to Facebook. Well, now there's a new scam. We'll tell you all about it. It's a Facebook thing, so it only affects you if you use Facebook. My mom and dad use Facebook. Everybody's on Facebook. We're also going to do Sienna Sings. Pop it in. Turn it on. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949-MIKEY at JeepCon. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9.
This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. All right, Sunday night, Bad Religion. At press time, there were still tickets available to see them at House of Blues. Their third in a three-night stand celebrating their 30th anniversary as a band. Bad Religion this Sunday night, the 21st. House of Blues, all ages. Devendra Van Hart's in town next week. Thursday night, the 25th. He'll play at the Belly Up. Heirs at 4th and B next Saturday, the 27th. They'll hold steady. Play the Belly Up Tuesday, May 4th. That's an FM 94.9 about the music show. Drive-by Truckers Playhouse, The Blues, May 6th. Ben Folds is there May 11th. And you can see Mumford & Sons at Belly Up Sunday, June 6th. That's another FM 94.9 about the music show. Oh, and I almost forgot. Kings of Leon coming to town. They'll play Cricket Wireless on Friday, July 9th. Tickets for that show on sale tomorrow. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. Met automotive perfection and a very affordable monthly payment. Bob Baker Subaru, Carlsbad, and El Cajon has it all. Like new 2010 Subaru Impreza 2.5Is for only $169 plus tax.
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Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? This report brought to you by AutoZone. Keep your car looking good inside and out this spring now at AutoZone. Save $5 when you buy any two Meguiars. Gold classic car care products. Get in the zone, AutoZone. 5 southbound ramp to Lucadia Boulevard. Coming out of Encinitas, an oil spill accident. It's a small... oil spill or work truck on the shoulder with hazards on may be related. On the 15 northbound, before Claremont Mesa Boulevard, they had an SUV that was stalled in center divider. They just moved that, so you should be able to get through. This report also brought to you by Wawanese Insurance. Better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto home or your condo. Call 877-WAWA-NESA or go to wawaneseus.com. Rate shopping can pay off. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Financial media station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Live studio audience in here today. It's The Mikey Show. And this is bittersweet. We have our last week of Mama Testa's in here today. It's so good, man. I'm so bummed. Mama Testa's talking to you. Oh, it is so good. And Caesar's here from Mama Testa. And, oh, man, I was just telling him out in the hall.
Just saw him out in the hall. I said, I see his stuff. I get a big smile on my face. And notice, as soon as you walked out, you looked at the spread and you said, wow. Well, there's something, I mean, and this is one of those deals where if you're a foodie and you follow the way that great restaurants are put together, there's usually a common denominator. And you have it. Really, really fresh ingredients. The freshest. And really, really good ingredients. You have a commitment to having food. It doesn't have any hormones and all that stuff in it. Exactly. And you do that because you know that it actually makes a difference in the taste of the food. Absolutely. You can, even if you taste our carne asada tacos, which we don't call them carne asada, we call them bistec. You're only tasting literally the meat. There's no marinades in it. There's nothing. There's just a little bit of salt, just a little bit. And all you're tasting, the flavor, is the way meat's supposed to taste like. We're not going to add anything to it. And, Cesar, where did you grow up? Where did you experience this food? In Guanajuato. Really? Yeah. Really, man. Right in the center of the country. Right. Everybody always asks me, Guanajuato? Yeah, I got the look on everybody's face over here like, Guanajuato? Right. It's right in the center. Tons of history in my state. The War of Independence and the War of Revolution started in my state. Right. So tons of things there. I grew up there for 14 years. Were you a guy that was interested in food from a very young age?
I was interested in eating it. Yeah. I'm very lucky that I grew up in a household with eight women, my mom and my aunts, all of them great cooks. Right. So I would sit there in the kitchen because, of course, being of Mexican culture, you're not allowed to cook if you're a male. You know, it's looked as weird. I must be Mexican then. Yes. That's weird. Get away with it. You know what? I'm Mexican. That's why I cook. Exactly. So I would sit in the kitchen and just wait for the meal to be prepared and just look at how they were doing things. And I would notice things. When I moved out from my house, of course, I was faced with, okay, now I need to cook. And I realized that everything was already in me. Even though I had never done it myself, I already knew, you know, okay, I remember they used to do this. Okay, if I add this a little bit, cool. We're going to keep doing it like that. Unfortunately, in Mexico, there's no recipes. Females don't believe in recipes. There's not really that many recipe books. If you try to search for Mexican recipe books, they're actually written by Americans. Most of the Mexican cookbooks are done by Americans. got the menu together for the restaurant, I had to go research with my mom and then have to make her measure things, which was the craziest thing. She had no idea what a cup was or what a tablespoon. You know, everything is either you have it or you don't. She would eye everything. Exactly. So the way we had to write down the recipes, because, of course, I wasn't going to have her. You know, she helped us open the first two years. She was the actual prep every morning.
But I figure, you know, she's not going to stay around forever to do this, you know, as long as I am. So we're going to have to write down the recipes for everything so somebody else can come in and duplicate them. It was the craziest thing because I would say, wait, before you put it in there, let me measure it. You know, we actually had to grab a pot and put a tablecloth on top of it so that when she would throw it, I would actually be able to catch it and then measure it, then write it down. But then, of course, you know, her just tasting and saying, oh, it needs more of this. She would just throw more on it. I'm like, wait. You know, we need to measure how much x-ray went in it because I cannot have somebody else. Well, if it doesn't taste like that, add a little bit more because a pinch to you might be, you know, a bigger pinch for Woodsy and things like that. So everything had to be measured. So it took us quite a while to get the recipes down to where they were actually measurable and they could be duplicated every time. And that's what we do. The brilliance that we get from the restaurant now originally came from your mom. Is that right? Pretty much. Yeah. It's your mom's original recipes in a lot of these cases. Correct. That's incredible. That's awesome, dude. Right down to, like, the last throwing of something in there, which is fantastic. Yeah. Everything had to be, you know, so that it tastes. Every day you come to the restaurant, it has to taste the same. It needs to be consistent. So we had to measure exactly. Even if it was just a quarter of a teaspoon that she added extra, we needed to make sure that it was in there. You know, my dad grew up in Brawley, and he says that one of the things that he remembers so vividly was the smell of homemade tortillas wrapped in towels.
And he said that he would open those towels up and up from the towel would come this steam. Exactly. And that steam would come up and hit his nose and it would be all of those fresh tortillas and the warmth of all that steam coming up. And he'd smell it. And that's what it's like here on Fridays when Mama Testis comes in. You can just smell all that homemade stuff. You know, the last break we were sitting here, we were talking, and to be honest with you, I have no idea what we were talking about because I could smell it. And I was like, all right, come on, let's wrap it up. I'm going to get out there and get something to eat. It's so good. He brought me my non-flautas. Thank you for using the non before the flautas. You're welcome. They're not flautas. Non-flautas. By the way, this is the six-year anniversary for Mama Testa's. They're located, yeah. 1417 University Avenue Corner, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. And if you haven't had it, you really do have to try it. It's so different. Now, here's the thing. Authentic. Authentic. Very authentic. I told you the first time I was here, different sounds like I'm from another planet. Yeah. They're authentic. Yeah, and the word that I used for it is it's 100%. I put it in a different category. Some stuff is really, really delicious, and then some stuff is so good that it's special. It means that you can only get it at one place, and you'll never get it like that at any other place. That's what makes something special. And the thing that I...
really really loved right away about your food was that and i say this about all kinds of places i go to a place right and i can taste something and a lot of people go ah that's just a snooty attitude about food here's what it is i'll go i don't taste any love in this you do at mama test it it means that they didn't just make it they actually thought about what it was going to taste like in your mouth they wanted you to go Yeah, when I eat this, this is going to be good. This is going to be special. And that's an important thing. Thank you. So really good food. Mama testa taqueria there at 1417 University Avenue. And just special food, man. Really special food. And you got to try it out. The guy beat Bobby Flay in a cook-off. And for good reason. It's really, really good stuff. Have you guys thought about catering? Do you do any of that? We do catering. Actually, summer season's starting already and weddings, graduations, you name it, we're there. So give us a phone call. There's actually a menu on the website, mamatesataqueria.com, where you can download the catering menu. If you have any questions, give us a call. Unbelievable. Just unbelievable food. Thank you, Cesar. Thank you very much for having us. Thank you, guys. Such a blast. Appreciate it.
OK, I want to mention this again. Run for Chelsea is going on tomorrow. It's tomorrow starting at 9 a.m. And what a unique idea that they have here. They're going to finish Chelsea's run. It's going to happen at Lake Hodges and they're going to finish that three mile run. It was mapped out by her high school cross country coach. It's free and parking is going to be limited there at Lake Hodges. And so North County Fair in a pretty cool move is going to let people park there at their mall parking lot. And then they're going to give you shuttle. to and from. There's going to be a service, a shuttle service set up from the mall to Lake Hodges. And then the race is going to be real quick. They're going to do a real quick ceremony at 9 a.m. And they're encouraging people to go out there and check it out. Very, very cool thing that has been put together. And I just think it's really cool. So people should go out and check it out. OK, so Facebook. We announced the other day that Facebook is now the most viewed website in the world. It was last week. Yeah? Yeah. Beat out Google, which is incredible. Which is no one has ever done. It doesn't even come close because Google has visited so much. Right. But anyway, now there's something, some new scam going on? Yes. There's an email going around asking Facebook users to reset their password. Oh, boy. If you get this email, it's fake. It contains a virus. Do not open it or follow any of the instructions.
They're asking you to reset your password. Don't do it. Yeah. And I talked to some people last night that have had it happen to them. Yeah. And it looks legit. I mean, the message appears to come from the Facebook support team. It says help at Facebook dot com is the one giving it to you. Really? Yeah. And I'm telling you, with all of those people working for that company, they got to figure something out with that. It doesn't happen. Yeah. A lot of people have been affected by it already. Okay, so dudes, I got a list for you of things that will make you undateable. These are things. How many? As a guy that will make you undateable. How many, Sienna? There's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. I'm seven of them. I'm going to guess that I am at least five of them. Okay. I'll say seven. You'll say seven? Yeah. I'll say five for me. Woods, you're definitely not this. Men who don't like animals. Yeah. Mikey kind of is. One nothing. Yeah, one nothing. Okay. One nothing. Guys that wear... Well, and I have to say this. I don't have enough time to do the stuff with animals. Like, you got to walk them. You got to do stuff. You got to brush them. You have to, you know... Dude, all they need is your love, pal. No, they need more. They require more. No, they don't. All they need is your love. They require you to pick up their...
stuff when they leave their stuff on the sidewalk. That's what the wife's for, dude. Okay. Yeah, the wife is sitting right next to you. Oh, she's here? She's actually here. She's here. Yeah, she is. Great. And heard that. I'm dead. What else, Sienna? Shiny pointy shoes. Not me. Yeah, dude. That's woods. No, I do not have shiny. Let me see your shoes. Oh, jeez. Let me see. Those ones aren't. Those are like cowboy boots. He has different ones that are pointy. You have a pointy pair. Look how Maddie's getting. All my shoes are square toe. Bro, they're not like a carrot, okay? We're not saying they're like a carrot. They're not jester shoes. Yeah, it's not like, yay, look at me, my pretty. It's not like that, but it's... Aren't there some shoes that you have? Cowboy boots. Don't you have cowboy boots? No. Your Italian ones. I don't have cowboy boots. You have Italian leather shoes. I have Italian leather shoes. And they're pointy. They're not pointy. They're square-toed. A little bit. No, they're square-toed. They're pointy with a square toe. You're Vince Ferragamos, bro. You know what I'm talking about? Don't you? Salvatore Ferragamos. Salvatore Ferragamos. You're talking about my Terran Roses show. That just means that you fell into that category. Yeah. So one-to-one. One-to-one, whatever. You guys, we can't back him into a corner. We saw what happened. That's true. Yeah. Throat slit. Yeah. It's true. Guys who cannot.
Grow a mustache. I can grow a mustache. No problem there. You can grow a mustache, right? I could look like John Holmes if I wanted to. So it says do not date a guy that cannot grow a mustache? Yeah. Well. Because every chick loves a mustache? I don't get it. Yeah, I don't get it. It's like a man. I don't get it. I don't know. Or a pornographer. This isn't my list. This is just a list. It does not make you undateable, guys. All right. Okay, now this one. I'm sorry, Mike. Guys who wear rings other than their wedding ring. Oh. I do. I wear a ring. So are you saying that a guy who wears his wedding ring is dateable? No. Yes. That's obviously acceptable. Right. No, I do. I wear one ring on my right middle finger. Two to one mic. That's right. I will never not wear that ring, too. Two to one mic. This is a big one. At least in my book. Is that a turn off, ladies? No, don't panic, Mike. It's fine. Yeah, Lauren just gave me the judge eyes. Judging eyes. I didn't say anything. Judging eyes. She gave me the judging eyes. Looking to Sienna for the next one. The eyes on Lauren right now just said it's terrible. It's terrible. Fine. What else? Guys who order salads. I mean, I have. Jay ordered a salad at lunch the other day. A pear and endive salad. Whatever the hell that is. He and Lauren got the same thing. Weird. Yeah.
And I would have ordered that Chinese chicken salad, except that I thought it might be too sweet. So you went with the Philly cheesesteak instead? No, I got a Cuban sandwich, which is worse than a Philly cheesesteak. I'm talking like on a regular basis, I think. You know, like guys, the girls always get the salads. The guy always gets the salads. I get a steak every time I go anywhere. That's good. Well, wouldn't it? I mean, if you were on a date and the guy's like, I'll take the. Let me get the garden. No, I can't tell if I want the garden or if I want to get the pear. Does the pear have gorgonzola? I would be so over it. What kind of crumbles does it come with? Blue cheese. See, I don't want that. I want gorgonzola. What if the guy waits? What if he waits until the lady orders first? And if she's going to get a burger, then he better not get a salad. Well, see, I order four of my women. That's not going to work. She hates that bit. It's not going to work. She hates that bit. Actually, I don't even let her choose. I just pick what she's going to eat. Stop. You like this. She's about to give me. You like this. Lauren's about to punch me. Woodsy's wife, Jamie, is here. Has Woodsy ever ordered for you? Like what you didn't even tell him you wanted? He asked me first. He doesn't. He doesn't. And then he says for the lady. Yeah. He does. You know where I learned it?
You know where I learned it. From the champ? No, you know where I learned it. Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Oh, wow. The lady will have the linguine and clam sauce and a Coke with no ice. I like that, though. Do you cut her food for her, too? No. She can cut her own food. That's fantastic. Okay, are we still tied one-to-one? Wait a minute. Hang on. Mikey has two. I think that I remember one of the first times that we went out together. Woodsy was out here, and we went out together, and... It was just me, him, and my wife, Rebecca. And I think I remember you saying to me, am I going to order for her? I think I did. You did. He scolded me. And I go, what do you mean? It's gentlemanly. Yeah. He goes, gentlemanly. I go, well, I think the lady can pick for herself what he goes. No, dude. You let her pick for herself what she wants, but then you tell the waiter what it is. I go, really? Yeah. I like that a lot. Really? Gentlemanly move. Powerful. Did you have to wink at me when you said that, powerful? That was kind of weird. So right now the score is Mikey 2, Woods 1. And again, this is a list of what makes a guy undateable. Yeah, I guarantee you I'm undateable. Woods is about to catch up. The over-texter. At dinner? Just in general. Like you're a teenager. Texting all the time. Yeah, I'm guilty of that too.
So it's both of you. Three to two. I'm still in the lead. Yay. I'm still more undateable than you are. Yay. Okay, don't worry. It's not over. The last one you guys are going to be like. Bad spellers? Nor am I. You went to your English major. Loyola. Yep. I'm good at spelling. I'm a phenomenal speller. Still three to two? Yep. This isn't you, Mike. This super dirty ball caps. Every day he brings in that diaper of a New York Yankees cab. Just the other day you said, man, I really like that hat. Yeah, what I meant by it was that thing is a germ-infested, wear every single day New York Yankees cab. That should have been on that germ-infested list. Absolutely. The difference is I actually play baseball. That is true. That's the difference. That is true, but you don't wear it while you play the baseball. So it's tied three to three. I have no defense. I think it's going to end in a tie because this last one's pretty laughable. What is it? Guys that wear Speedos. Zero percent. Never have I won. You've worn one before. I guarantee you. I never have. I want a picture of Mikey. I guarantee you. You've worn one. Holding hands. Dude, that's like saying guys that wear baby bonnets. And I'm like, I guarantee you've worn a baby bonnet, Woods.
Of course I've not worn a Speedo. Really? Where does one go to buy a Speedo? I don't know, but I know you've worn one before. So you're saying I shouldn't have worn one into work today? Yeah, exactly. Where does one wear? What do you buy? Swim class. You buy it for swim class. Really? All my water polo days? Is that what you're thinking? On my water polo days. So, I mean, I see, every time I go to the beach, you usually see one Speedo. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's a dude from Denmark. Not always. There's one guy from Denmark on the beach that brought his Speedo. It's the scratch. Yeah, he's like, hey, what's wrong with wearing my Speedos today? Not always. It's like Lars Ulrich from Metallica. He's like, yeah, I came to the beach today because I wanted to wear my Speedo down here. Lars. How come nobody else is wearing a Speedo? Maybe he's proud of what he's packing and wants to show it off. A lot of us are, dude, but we're not going to throw a Speedo on to go to the beach. A lot of us aren't, too. Just in case you were wondering. Am I singing? Yeah, but we got to do it when we come back. That went by quick. When we come back, a little Sienna sings. And if that wasn't bad enough, how about 10 things? It's going to get bad for the... You're saying my singing is bad? No, no, no, no, no. If the list that we just had was bad enough, wasn't bad enough.
It's going to get worse for you ladies because I also have 10 things that turn us off. Oh, no. Now, I will say about this, I don't know what they are. I don't either. But as soon as I hear a list that says, I got 10 things that turn men off, I go, I bet you I like a bunch of them. You want me to give one example? Yeah. Assuming we know what you want us to do. Fair enough. Guys never know what we want. Yeah, that upsets me. That does upset me. Yeah, the mind reader bit. The mind reader. We're supposed to know that you're upset. Yeah, I read your mind. And we're supposed to know that you're upset. We're supposed to know why you're upset. And we're supposed to react to it in a very particular way that will make you feel good again, full again, whole and complete again, and completely satiated emotionally. Is that correct? You better. Absolutely. Funnily enough, you're right.
Do it nice. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Are you ready for Ram Truck Month? Ready for a Ram 1500 with a Hemi V8 upgrade at no extra charge with 0% EPR financing? Ready for more power and performance? Really? Ready? Ready to have your neighbors offering to wash it for free. Kids climbing in the back bed. Dogs that don't even belong to you jumping in to enjoy a more powerful ride. 390 horsepower that gets an EPA estimated 20 highway MPG. Ready for new features like a refined interior, multi-link coil rear suspension, and trailer sway control. So are you ready? Ready for truck groupies to beg for rides, bigger boats to show up in front of your house, construction workers whistling at your truck. It's all part of Ram Truck Month, home of the Hemi V8 upgrade at no extra charge with 0% financing. So get over to your local Ram truck dealer before March 31st and get ready to be the envy of the truck driving world. Ram. financing for well-qualified buyers not all buyers will qualify no extra charge hemi v8 offer based on factory to dealer reimbursement dealer contribution may affect final price offer ends 33110 ram and hemi are registered trademarks of chrysler group llc kurt you're a moodle a moodle a man poodle girls they want to feed you they want to cuddle you but no girl wants to do the moodle ruling stone raids she's out of my league is a date movie must come on in for a dip i don't even have a bathing suit underwear is fine underwear would be fine
If I were wearing any. And critics declare it's the funniest comedy since The Hangover. I think that Debbie here is one wicked hot box. Thanks, baby. And this chick of yours makes her look like a pig. What? She's out of my league. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent. Now playing. To see more, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. Check engine. So many things can go wrong with your car. That's why Pep Boys invented one place that can make them all right. Right now, it's dollar days at Pep Boys. Buy any three installed DFINITY tires. Get the fourth tire for a buck with instant rebate. Buy three, get the fourth tire for $1 instantly. Get a do-it-yourself five-quart Pennzoil oil change with Purolator filter, just $15. Champion Platinum Spark Plugs are only $1 each. Also, two bottles of Blackmagic Tire Wet, only $3. Two bottles. $3, both offers after mail and rebates. Don't miss Dollar Days at Pep Boys. Whether it's tires, parts, or service, your dollar never went so far. Call 1-800-PEP-BOYS or visit pepboys.com. Verizon is the best destination for incredible deals on exceptional 3G smartphones. And right now, they're going one better with buy one, get one free offers on their smartest 3G smartphones.
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Cash back varies by vehicle. Not all buyers will qualify for Ford Credit Limited Term Financing. Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 4-5-10. Mileage based on EPA estimates. Your mileage may vary. Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? This report is brought to you by Shell Nitrogen and Rich Gasolines. All three grades will act as a barrier that shields and protects critical engine parts against performance-ropping gunk. Spring Valley area Bancroft drive ramp to the 94 disabled SUV. It's stalled in lanes. It's at the beginning of that on-ramp. Watch out for it. Five southbound coming through Encinitas, the Rancho Lucadia Boulevard, an oil spill accident. It's a small oil spill. There's a work truck on the shoulder. It's got its hazard lights on. It's probably related to that. And the 78 eastbound between Emerald Drive and Rancho Santa Fe Road. Pretty slow this morning. We're looking at speeds in the lower 30s. This report also brought to you by the San Diego Blood Bank. One blood donation can save two lives. One financial donation could save thousands. Follow Sempra Energy Foundation's lead and make a financial contribution to the San Diego Blood Bank.
I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. Now, back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Welcome back. It's the Mikey Show. We have a live studio audience. Nice. Day 35. That's right. Is it day 35? The 35th show. That's cool. Let's see. We have Lauren picking the music today. That's Taj Mahal. I like that. I thought you would like that. It's very organic. Weird. That's right. It's as if you grew that at home. I did. In a kombucha jar. That's awesome. Welcome back to the show. What do we got? I just licked 20.
Did you really? Did that gross you out? No. Well, Woodsy licked a $20 bill to prove that germs don't bother him earlier. Yep. It was kind of gross. It was disgusting. I did it five times. Now, are we ready to do a little Sienna Sings? Yes. After that big feast of Mexican food, I'm ready. Okay. Here's how we're going to do this. You can call us up right now, and you're going to guess whether or not Sienna's going to get it or not get it. Five, seven. Yeah, you can use mine, actually. But you need to hear. It's okay. I'll be able to hear from your head. Oh, you can probably hear from that. Yeah, I will. I'll hear it from your mouth. That's right. 570-1949. And you can win a prize. The prize that you can win will be six-pack of CDs. So you're going to call us right now. Lauren. It's harder with this audience. I know. Now, here's what we're going to do. Here's what we're going to do.
I am going, I'm going to give you what the song is, and you've got to tell me whether or not you think she's going to get it or not get it. And, Jessie, you can go ahead and assign somebody that she's going to get it since everybody's going to say she's not going to get it. What do you mean? Well, who knows? Maybe you'll do really good on this, Sienna. Now, what we have in front of Sienna right now is a screen, and it's got karaoke music on it. And as you know with karaoke, As the words move across the screen, it'll tell her where to begin singing. That's what she'll do. And we'll see if she knows the song. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. She has to be the ultimate judge to tell us whether or not she does. Let's see. M1 Dos Equis. What's up, Mikey? How are you? I'm doing good. Hey, man, I can't wait to see you down at sunrise, man. You got to turn that up for me just a tiny bit. Turn that up for me just a tiny bit. You're going to say that she what?
She don't got it this time. Okay. All right. Hang on the line. And so Dos Equis is going to be wagering against. Hang on a second. I thought he said she won't get it. He said she don't got it this time. And the song that she's going to be singing is Twisted Sister. We're not going to take it. M1 Chris, you've got that she will get it. Hang on the line. Are you ready? Twisted Sister. Okay. Twisted Sister. And we're not going to take it. I'm going to lift the mic up for you. And here we go. I'm not going to take it. Wow. Nailed it. Yes. I knew it. I knew it. She got it. It's hard to do a poker face. Everyone's looking at me. Like 20 people in the room. So, M1 Dos Equis, guess what? You are a winner. Oh. No. No, no, no.
No, no, he lost. She said she was going to get it. No, he said she's not going to get it. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's pretty bad when you tell somebody they just won and they didn't. Never mind. Serves him right not to choose me. That's right. Everyone, Chris, you won. Will you hang on? Yeah, right here. Sorry, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Okay, the next song. Are you ready? I'm ready as I'll ever be. All right, Sienna's next song is Whitesnake, Here I Go Again. Okay. Woodsy's already in love with it. I love it. Woodsy's already in love with it. We'll line some people up. I feel like she knows this one too. You love that I'm going to sing this or you love this song? Yes, because I have both. Okay. I'd be more impressed if she acted out the video. No, no doubt. Remember that? Tawny Gattain on that Jaguar? Yeah. Yeah, give me a Jaguar, I guess. You ready? Yeah. But I sure know where I've been. Hanging on the promises and the songs of yesterday. I kind of know it. Hold on. And I made up my mind. I ain't wasting no more time. Here I go again. You got it. Yes. I was a little at first. Here I go. She got it. She knows it. She knows it. You got it. This is two for two. Two for two. This is the best I've ever done. Do we have anyone on the line that picked? Yeah. Jesse's doing it. Yeah, Jesse's getting them lined up.
All right, Sienna. Are you guys disappointed? No, I'm stoked. I'm not. I'm not. I'm actually enjoying that you're getting these. All right. Okay. Last one. Scorpions, no one like you. Okay. Oh, what's he saying? No way. No way. No way in the world. My wife would know it. Yeah. Yeah, but Sienna? Not so much. Not so much. That was our generation. It's Sienna right now, and I can't tell. I think she knows it. Look at her. She's stoked. I'm not. I'm just getting into it. Yeah. Santa's got to get it somewhere. Honestly, like, I don't even know if I know it until I start seeing the words. Here we go. It's been a long time. Much too long. Or something like that. I miss you since I've been away. Babe, was it easy to leave you alone? Something like that. If I had the choice, I would stay. There's no one left.
I can't sing that high. I'm a very low voice. Nobody can sing like that guy. There's no one like you. I have a lower voice than you guys. Seriously. There's no one like you. You're going to give it to me? Yes. I didn't think you were going to give it to me. That was impressive. Not bad. You nailed the chorus. Dead on. You got it. You said my voice cracked that one time. You sounded just like Klaus Mein. Yeah, you did. That's great. We're related. All right. So I got 10 things. That's the best I'm ever going to do, you guys. Yeah, that was phenomenal. Absolutely. No one can do better than that. I might as well go buy a lottery ticket right now. We all should. So I have. No kidding, right? I got 10 things that turn men off.
And I bet you I'm going to be fine with a bunch of these things. These are things that women do that turn men off. Now, the example that we gave before we went to break, Sienna's 100% right. I don't like it. Assuming we know what you want us to do. And I'm saying this from a man's point of view. Right, right. Okay, give me another one. Second guessing your instincts. When a girl second guesses her instincts. What does that mean? Should I wear this? Should I not? Is this cute? I don't know. I don't care. You don't care? That bothers you, Woodsy? Indecisive Ingrid. I don't know. Do I want a salad or do I want the club sandwich? Doesn't bother me. I don't know. Really? You don't tune it out? No. Yeah. I don't. I don't. My wife is in the freaking studio today. I'm just staring you down. Manson lamps over here at me. She is staring you down. Really? Well, we're going to talk at 10.03. She's like, you're almost off the air, Steven, so guess what? Prepare to be filleted. That's right. What else? Smothering instead of mothering. What's the difference between smothering and mothering? Smothering is overdoing it. Like, are you sure you don't need any more? You want any more? Can I refill your drink? Are you sure? Are you sure? It's like, yeah, I'm fine. But you want. Are you feeling okay? Can I get you something? You know what she does do, though? What? She gets you fried rice from Benihana. She sure does. When I wasn't feeling good. That is like a sweet woman.
No, you can get it to go, but it's a giant pain in the butt. And she does it for her. She did it. It's very sweet. I wonder what Lauren does when her man is sick. Fend for yourself, dude. She's like, wow, I sure hope a wolf shows up and feeds you. Because I'm not gonna. I hope that a St. Bernard with a little barrel around his neck comes bounding into the room. Because if not, I'll be at work talking on the radio, pal. Alright, buddy? Sweet as cherry pie. Are you a nurturing type of girlfriend? I am. Really? I'm a nurturing human being. Well, you know, the thing is, though, Pepper. Lauren once had Pepper stuck in her teeth. Pepper, you on his birthday forgot to get him a card or get him a present. Nothing on Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day, you didn't get him a card. Who's Pepper? You, Pepper. Oh, me? Oh, no, that's not my name. You forgot to get him a Valentine's card. I forget.
Yeah, she didn't forget. That's the worst. Forgetting is better than just, eh, screw you, pal. I'm not getting you anything. Yeah, that's right. I deliberately didn't get it. That's why she means she's nurturing, obviously. It's a made-up holiday. It is. It's complete BS. And I don't subscribe to those types of things. It's a hallmark holiday. But if somebody's sick, she sees that as a need that she will care for. That's sweet. It's a maternal instinct. It's a maternal instinct. What do you... Give me an example. What do you do? Soup? Yeah. Soup. Miso soup with tofu. Yeah. Guaranteed. Do you need some extra pillows? Let me fluff them up for you. It's nice. Maybe I can coo you to sleep. Aw, how sweet. You want me to suck your thumb, sweetheart? Since I suck mine, I thought I could suck your thumb. We found that out yesterday, by the way. Was this roast? Yeah. Kids getting roasted or what? Kids getting roasted over here? Is that it? So, go ahead. Go ahead. Having a superiority complex. Meaning, like, say you're out to dinner with a bunch of people. Mm-hmm. And one of the girls is talking about something sweet that her husband did. And the other girl is like, well, you know, Woods, you know, he's just a typical guy. And he doesn't do stuff like that. Mine hates that bit. You hate that bit. Yeah, it's very disrespectful. You hate that bit. Men desire respect. Women desire love. When women do that, it's like it's being very unloving to you ladies. You know, when your man doesn't do something loving.
Or when he does something very unloving, same exact bit for us. Yep. Same thing. Oversharing. Girls tend to overshare. Maybe there are a couple details about that time of the month. No, no, no, no. I don't know. But we're experiencing it. You should know how we feel. No, that one I'm 100% in on. I don't think that there should be oversharing. I think there should be a big, big amount of undersharing. Yes, undershare. Undershare. Undershare with me. I overshare 100%. No. Yeah, definitely. You guys are oversharers? Oh, yeah. Like, I got to poop. Git. No. I don't want to hear about it. No. I would say that to Todd now. Oh, my gosh. My cramps are so bad. Yeah, I'd say that. Oh, my gosh. My cramps are so bad. No, it's just that. like, valve that I sometimes can't turn off where I'm like, and then, and then, and Matt's, like, walking in the other room. Todd, I did tell me. Okay, he just overshared. Yeah. Like, he had to do that the other day. Sorry. I do it a lot more subtly. I put my index fingers in my ears and go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yep. This one makes me mad. When girls don't really listen to you.
When a guy's trying to talk and it says when girls aren't really listening, like we're pretending like we're listening. But it's okay because guys live by that every day, right? Men don't care about that. That's on there. I care about it when I really know that she's placating me. Every once in a while I can tell that she's really placating me. And I'll notice it and then I'll test it. She's probably burping the babies and, you know, changing diapers. Like, okay, can you hold on, Mike? She's doing whatever. She's like, Mike, you can tell me about Hoyle later, okay, dude? I know you and Woods have a new funny Hoyle bit that you want to talk about. Well, she'll be doing the thing where she's, like, actively, basically all she's doing is mimicking the conversation. Right, okay. So I'll go, hey, did you hear Hoyle today? And she's like, oh, yeah, yeah. And I'll be like, what did you think? And she'll go, yeah, the Hoyle thing. And so she's just kind of mirroring, which tells me she's not listening. I do that. And so I'll be like, yeah, banana ducks fart. I do that. And she'll be like, I know the bananas. I'm like, oh, really? Oh, really? You said banana ducks fart. Don't we all have those little key phrases, though, that makes it seem like we're listening just to, like, keep the conversation going? Yeah, exactly. Really? No way. It's crazy. I'm the dude that's typing and talking to Jamie, and I'm like, yeah, huh?
Yeah, I know. She did? That's crazy. I can't believe they did that. Jamie's looking at you right now. I know. She knows. I do an uh-huh. Uh-huh. I go, uh-huh. Or you go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I say yeah, yeah, yeah a lot. The pizza guy said it the other day. Pizza guy came over to the house. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he did. I'm fine. There goes your tip. No, he was doing the yeah, yeah, yeah thing, right? Uh-huh. What else? Okay, I really am anxious to know if all the guys, this bothers them, because I don't think that it would. What? RSVPing for us. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would bother you? Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. Rebecca will probably RSVPs for everything. Well, here's the thing. She always, well, she 98% of the time just checks. 98% of the time. Oh, okay, now I see what this is meaning. Yes. Occasionally, she'll RSVP. That, yes, we'd love to go to, you know, Melissa's baby shower. Guys aren't invited to those. And they are sometimes if it's a co-ed baby shower. Jack and Jill. Who would do that? They have the co-eds. I did it. What? For my sister. Yep. That's a new thing. It's the way to get the father involved. Yeah. Yeah. And so. Drink out of a baby bottle. It'll be that or it'll be there occasionally are a dinner with mutual friends.
And I will be looking forward to that Friday night because all I know that I'm going to do on that Friday night or that Saturday night is go into dreamy, dreamy land. And she's like, oh, no, no, no. Remember, we're going out to dinner. Dinner with the woods. Yeah. And I go, we are. We are. That sounds wonderful. What month? No, this tomorrow. You forgot. Tell me about that. See, sometimes I don't ask Todd. I just tell him with plenty of notice. Yeah. And I have to remind him every, like, so often. How often do we hear from our spouses? Yes, I did. Yeah. And there's no, no, you didn't. Babe, I told you. 100% we did tell. I told you. No, you didn't. Well, then you weren't listening. Weird. It instantly becomes our fault, right? Because it is. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. You didn't tell me. But if you think about it, how many times do we all go out to dinner? And you never asked Rebecca if she was okay with it that night. That's a great point. I do? Yes, you say, yeah, let's go do it Saturday. Yeah, let's do it. That's different. But I do it too. I never ask Todd. I'm just like, we're going. He's like, oh, okay. All right. Fast forwarding to the future when women say, you know, oh, this new sofa we got is great, but you know what? We really need a new dresser now. Stuff like that. My wife doesn't do that. Wait, what does that mean? I don't get it. Fast forwarding to the future? Yeah.
Like, oh, this Valentine's Day was so nice. I hope we can do this every year until we're 75. Oh. Yeah, you'll get it, dude. One day at a time. Yeah, sometimes she does do that. Yeah. Yeah, and guys, yeah. We don't like that. I don't like that. Let's just play it by ear. Overlooking guys' quiet acts of thoughtfulness. Because girls are very verbal when they're thoughtful. And they're, I love you. You look so handsome. But when guys do it, a lot of times they don't point it out. Like they'll change the oil in your car or something to them that they feel. Well, you wouldn't and Mikey wouldn't. But like to them, they feel like they're doing something, you know, really sweet. The guy? Yeah. Yeah. And we're, we'd never notice or just to us, it's like, okay, so you changed my oil, big deal. Yeah. What do you want to cook? Tell me I look hot. Dude, you better give me some appreciation if I change your oil. First of all, it's going to take me a week. And then the guys, also the guys. It would. Guys, you know, they most of the time pay for dinner. You know, holding the door open, little things. Like we never like, oh, you hold the door open. Sienna, any man that holds the door open for me, I'm out on. I hold the door open for myself. Is that your Lauren voice? Yeah, I think so. Because I'm a woman and I can handle the door. You see this bra? It's going right into that bonfire. That's right. I'm shooting up the flagpole on fire. There you go.
I don't need a man to open a door for me. I'm perfectly capable. But when the check comes, it's on him. You can pay for that. Matt opens all my doors for me. He does? Yeah. And you kick him in the shin when you walk by. No, I like it. I say, thank you. What kind of little lady things do you do? What do you mean by that? Well, like little lady things. You know, like do you bake him a cake every once in a while? Just for no reason? Little brownies? No. That's sweet. Solid. Very solid. Yeah, but if they're around the house, then I'll eat them. There she is. No, I will, like, stockpile the house with stuff that he needs or wants. If he mentions, like, man, I just broke my cable. I need another one. When I'm out, I'll go pick that up. Sweet. Yeah, I do nice things. That is nice. What about drugstore stuff? All the time. You're all over that? Mm-hmm. That's Rebecca. She's a drugstore guru. I get everything for him. You do? Everything. You take care of that? I mean, absolutely. That guy does nothing. You know what's funny? He does. He does a lot. I don't mean it, like, in a bad way. But, like, you know, I have the day off once we're done with work. So I have time to do that stuff. So I don't mind. And I like, you know, I'll pick him up. Well, I pick out clothes for him for no reason. I'm like, oh, look, look, I got you some new stuff. And I got you some shoes. And I made some cookies. I just like doing it, though.
Pretend Jamie's not in the room. Does Jamie take care of all of that, like, picking up the stuff and getting the stuff and doing all that? The funny thing is, man, is that I don't mind, like, running errands. Like, I like to go run errands, don't I? I mean, I'll go. She'll do it. She'll do it. I just kind of like doing it. She picks up your shrapnel, though. Oh, she cleans up shrapnel all over the house. That's for sure. Shrapnel is, Woods likes to chew on everything. And you see it all over the place. Yep. Chewed up stuff. So she'll come to me and I'll be on the couch and she'll be like, look what I just found in my car. And there's 40 chewed up pen caps and bottle caps and all kinds of stuff. I'll do this thing. I'll give you an admission. I'll do a thing where Rebecca gets into a pattern of doing all these nice things, right? Taking care of the CVS, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Doing all these little things. And I don't know if anybody else has been guilty of this. But then when the one time that she can't, I'm like, oh, really? Oh, yeah. You guys are the worst. We.
I needed a broom the other day. And I was home and I wasn't feeling good because we had a housekeeper come the next day. And this is like a new development for us. So our broom was messed up. We needed another one. And so I called Todd, on your way home from work, do you think? And I was so nervous to call because I know all he wants to do is get home when he's done from work. So I call him, do you think you can just stop at CVS and just pick up a broom, a new broom? And he's like, oh. What? You can't just do it? I'm like, no, I realize I'm home now and I can, but I don't want to. I've already been out all day. Like, just on your way home, stop in. And he did. But when he got to CVS, he called me. There's like four different brooms. I don't know which kind. What kind do you want? I don't know. And he realizes like he's not getting mad at me, but he's just so frustrated because he doesn't know what to do. That is. 100% me. Yeah. You should have seen the kid this morning when he lost his keys. It was like a four-year-old. I got a text from Woods that said, problems, Pally. This morning? Yeah, this morning. Yeah, he sent me a text that said, problems, Pally. Kid can't find his keys. Going nuts. What did you do? Break into a sweat? No, I texted him back. I'll pick you up. I texted him back and I said, they're probably in your ignition. And he texted back and said, problem solved. I was like a child. Was I not?
They were on the bar under a piece of paper. But I was like a child. I can't believe this is happening. I can't put my keys. No, and it's like, all we want to do is be like, really? Are you really acting like this? But if you do, then it's going to make it worse. So you're like, okay, well, did you look here? Of course I looked there. Yeah, you don't poke the tiger, dude. Okay? You don't poke the tiger when he's in the cage. These are things that men... that men don't like in women yeah the things that turn men off and this is the last one and it's probably the biggest one what is it devaluing men's friendships oh saying like babe you're always with your friends can't you know like okay like you should be spending more time with me can't we go to dinner on saturday just blow off the guys like you'll see them later rebecca doesn't have to do that because i'm not hanging out with any man She'd be like, babe, you're always in the room on the computer. But, you know, like, a lot of times in the beginning of a relationship is when, like, when you start getting serious and the guy's like, all right, I need to have some guy time, too. And the girl's like, oh. Hey, Susanna, the accounting intern is outside. Come on in, Susanna. Hi. Hi, Susanna. Look at Susanna. She's so pretty. She's all dressed up today. She is. Hey, how are you, Susanna? What's up? What are you doing? What's up? I'm just listening to this conversation. I'm just listening. Sienna.
She said she was listening to Mariah Carey or something? No. That's not what she said. You weren't listening to Mariah Carey. Take your thing out. Fantasy? Take out your... She wears a retainer. I said I was just listening to the list of things that you guys were listing off, and I was just thinking, like, I don't do any of those. You don't? I bet Jamie does. Oh. Wow. That's... I'm just kidding. That's Woodsy's... She's totally kidding. That's Woodsy's wife. You're kidding, right? Totally. Well, that's good. That's good that you don't do any of those things. What were a couple of them? Tell me a couple again, Sienna. Let's just review. A couple were smothering instead of mothering. Do you do any of that, Susanna? Smother? No. You would never smother, right? What if it's Jamie does? Just kidding. Wow. That was really awkward. I'm totally gay. I love you. It's weird the way that you did that. When are you leaving, Jamie? That's a strange question to ask. You just met her. It's a strange question. She just got to town. When is Jamie leaving? Tuesday. Tuesday? She's leaving on Tuesday. That's great. Oh, wow. How interesting. Oh, yeah. I don't really like looking at it.
Oh, sorry. It's okay. So are you saying something about smothering sex? Never do smother. Sienna? Suckering succotash? Suckering succotash, she said. Did you say succotash? She said she would never smother. No, list another one on there. Yeah, what else? Oversharing. Do you overshare? Oversharing? Yeah, oversharing. Overshare. Anything with any details? Take that out. Please. Please take that out. Sorry. Oversharing? I would never do that. You don't? Like, gross details? Yeah, like telling all the gross details? No. Yeah, like men don't want to know that kind of stuff, right? Yeah, and first of all, I don't do anything gross. Yeah, right, because you're just, yeah, just perfect. Yeah. Right? You would never do anything gross. But I bet Jamie does. No, I'm just kidding. She's very passive-aggressive. A little passive-aggressive, Suzanne. I think some people might say that. Some people might think that. We should totally hang out, Jamie. I can't wait until you leave. What? I'm totally kidding. That is great. Well, Susanna, put your retainer back in for us if you don't mind.
And it was really nice to see you. It's so nice to see you guys. It's always nice to see you. Except Jamie. She's just kidding. She's just kidding. Does she really have something out for Woods' wife? No. I think my wife's about to give her a get. It's nice to see you, Woods. Thanks, hon. Good to see you. Bye, guys. Thanks a lot. Hey, this is another one from Taj Mahal. Weird. It's the same one from Taj Mahal. Wait a minute. I've got to give you all of Lauren's because Lauren put together a list today. This one is Broken Balls. Broken Bells. Okay. And the song is called The Ghost Inspire. Inside. Okay, yeah. Wow. Pepper wrote that with her feet. It's one of the recommended albums on 94.9's website. Beautiful. There you go. You prank people when you were a kid, Woodsy? All the time. What'd you do? Prank phone calls. 5701949. What'd you do as a prank when you were a kid? Don't forget Tuesday nights are screening of the White Stripes DVD. Under the great white northern lights. That blind lady ale house. Normal high, it's going to be cool. So call us right now with your childish, the childish pranks that you had. Want to know how to keep the fire and your relationship burning?
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Welcome back to Mike and Show with a live studio audience. Choice O'Brien. I love it. That's good. The boss. Little Bruce. I'm on fire. I'm going to see a doctor then, pal. Okay. Really? I remember this video. You don't remember this video, right? I think I do. Great videos. Okay, so speaking of fire, you want to know how to put a fire back in your relationship? What a segue. My Lord. No, that was totally accidental. Right? Must have learned that from Hoyle. That's right. Taught him that last week. Yeah, he's been Hoyling his craft. That's not a joke. To me it was. Oh, really? Really, to you it was? You know who used to talk to me like that? Who? Booger and Twitch, Todd. Took them to number one, seven books in a row, and then they didn't do it anymore. I thought it was 18 books in a row. That was the first seven weeks of it, buddy. Oh, really? Seven for seven? First of all, we got a few things to do for you. I got the seven ways to keep the fire in your relationship, Bernie.
Give me some of those, Sienna. Don't forget date night. It's very important. No matter how long you've been together, have a date night once a week. What if you can't? Well, make it happen. Do a little picnic outside in your front yard. Right up on a white stallion, Mike. Once the kids are in bed, go to the backyard, lie a little towel down, have a glass of wine. Lie a little towel down in the backyard. I mean, maybe you have kids and you couldn't get a babysitter. Just, like, find a way. That sounds, for every guy, that sounds like a nightmare. No, it doesn't. Woods would do it. No, I wouldn't. Stuff that sounds good to girls does not often work out for guys. Is date night getting in bed and cuddling and watching the Yankees? See, we have a different idea of date night than women have of date night. When I was dating Rebecca, she planned a date for us. We went to... If she's listening right now, she's already irritated. Oh, yeah. You're dead when you get home, by the way. I'll only tell this story once in three years. Perfect. We went to Balboa Park and she laid out a big blanket on the grass and had a basket with cheese and grapes and wine and little wine glasses. It's me. It's Mikey. Okay. I'm a Mexican little short guy. Okay.
I'm like trying to sit Indian style. Bugs? Yeah. Sweating? Yeah. There's no internet. Sweating profusely? It's the worst. It was the worst. Were you a D about it? No. Oh, no. So you went along with it? Because we were just kind of dating. You have to then. Oh, yeah. And so I'm like with my arm, you know. Trying to get comfortable. Trying to get comfortable. Putting the arms back. Your jean shorts kept catching. Shut up. Sunglasses on. Like, this is really cool. It's so lovely. It's only 92. It's perfect. This wine is, I love it when it's really warm. And when the grapes are all warm and squishy, delicious. And when the cheese sweats, it's perfect. Can you pass me the cheese? That sweaty cheese. Sweaty cheese. You guys are really making me mad. Why? She did something so sweet for you. You're going to sit here and make fun of it. You know what? It is the thought that counts.
I mean, you've got to know better. Guys aren't into that. Plenty of guys do that for girls. Oh, yeah. When they're trying to sleep with them. That's when they do that. Richard Gere liked it in Pretty Woman. He loved it. He even took his shoes off. Man lives in a suit. That always creeped me out, that scene. Why? Because he takes his shoes and socks off and he's in a business suit. It just looked nasty to me. I don't know why. Not that I know. I've never seen Pretty Woman, but I heard. What's another way? Seven ways to keep the fire in your relationship burning. Give a proper greeting when your significant other comes home. Mikey, you totally don't do this. Give a proper greeting when your significant other comes home. Go give him a kiss. How was your day? Don't just say, hey, how was your day, honey? In the other room. Or, hey, babe. I'm not very good at that. I'm good at that. You are? Hugs and kisses every night. My issue are, what do they call them? The social graces. I have an issue with the social graces. I'm not good at that. For instance, if somebody brings something over that was unexpected and people go, oh, oh, how much was that? Let me get that for you. Even though they know the person is going to go, oh, no, no, don't worry about it. I don't do that.
Because I don't like the rigmarole. No, I don't like the rigmarole. Even though you're the most generous person I know. No question. Yeah, but I don't like to go through that rigmarole of I know what they're going to say. You know what I mean? And I don't want anybody. Nobody needs to do that with me either. I'm very frank. I'm very frank. I just shoot really, really frankly. Like I told Jay one time, I said, I would be the guy that would go. Well, it looks like you have three months to live, so you need to start planning for a minute. That's right. And I would just be a... I just plow forward with whatever the information is. I don't have... Filter? No, he's got a filter. It is social graces. It is social graces. I'm terrible at it. I thought of you yesterday when we were at the zoo. Sienna had the great idea of riding the bus around so we didn't have to walk because I'm fat. I know how you do. Yeah, you know how I roll. I'm the same way. So we get on the bus and we take this tour. And, of course, we sit on the wrong side of the bus because we're on the left. The whole time it's, and off to the right, you'll see the hippo. And off to the right, you'll see the lion. And off to the right, you'll see the giraffe. Right. So the tour ends and Jamie goes, I think we're supposed to tip the driver. And I was like, oh, yeah, absolutely. You got a five? Give me a five. No way. Oh, yeah, we tipped her. We greased her. And I thought, I go, I wonder if Mike would grease this lady as we were later. Never would I have ever thought of doing that. So we did.
I don't know. I wouldn't even have dawned on me. Should have seen her face. Yeah, because you're the first person in 25 years. You probably are. You know what I mean? I thought of you and the social graces. In my head, I think I even mentioned Jamie. I was like, I got to bring this up tomorrow to see if Mikey would have done it or anybody else. I don't know the little, I don't know polite things that you're supposed to say. I don't know. None of that. I don't know any of those things. Do you tip the dolphin trainers during a Shamu show because they did a good job? I would. He would. Swimming across the water. He probably would. Hey, I just wanted to give this to you. Yeah. Better to be an over-tipper than an under-tipper. Absolutely. What else? Tip everybody. Keep on kissing. When you wake up in the morning, give them a kiss. Before you go to bed at night, give them a kiss. Don't ever let that stop. And if it already stopped, bring it back. A French or just a regular kiss? You know, whatever floats your boat. You French them? Don't do it. Don't say that. Freaks me out. How's my breath? Creepy. Break the routine. If you have a daily routine and, like, you know, dinner's ready, but the time the guy comes home, you guys sit and watch TV and you eat it together. Like, break the routine. One night when he comes home, have candles lit. You know, have the music on. Make him cook. Something different. Mm-hmm. Who cooks? 50-50. Really? No. Probably 75-25 me. Him. Me. Really? Yeah.
What's the last thing you made? Barley hamburgers? Sprout cheesecake. Yeah. Wheat brownies? These are sugar-free, fat-free, taste-free brownies. Made only of barley extract. I bought something yesterday that I'm making you try. What? Sprouted grain tortillas. Oh, my God. Where do you even find these things? I think I'd rather eat my dog's droppings than eat that. I'd rather eat my own thumbs. Lauren does do that, too. Quarterly. Just look at the fiscal calendar. Wow, man. I would never eat that. Never. I'm going to make you eat a quesadilla. Make your angels. I'll taste one little tiny piece. If you bring it in, I'll taste one little tiny piece. Me too. Send a no special reason message. Like during the middle of the day, you know, for no reason, just send a little text. Love you. Send an email. Make sure to send it to her this time, champ. Okay. Send it to your boy here. Mikey sent it to Woods the other day. What did you send? Hey, babe. I apologized to my wife, but it ended up being woodsy.
Hey, babe. Hey, babe. I love you. Sorry I was rude. Sorry I was rude. I go, really, dude? Really? I love you, too. I got on my knees and I said, thank you, Lord. I can't wait. Oh, it was mortifying. I could have handled that so much nicer as a buddy. Oh, my goodness. Changed my mind. Really, dude? Really, dude? Really? Really? Now, this list of seven ways to keep the fire burning in your relationship. has three different note things, and they're all kind of different, but I'm telling you, I agree with all of them. Leave a surprise note. Like, Todd did this one time, and it was the most exciting thing that ever happened to me. Pick up my direct leaning. No. Like, because at night, sometimes I'll fall asleep on the bed, and I'll have my laptop next to me, and so he'll put it away. And, like, on this particular morning, I got to work, and I opened the laptop, and there was a post-it on the screen. It said, I love you, with an exclamation. Good job. Good job. he's ever done. I think he felt bad about saying what his one romantic thing was, was giving me the end of the hot dog. The hot dog nut. Babe, I'm not going to finish this. You want this? It's from me to you. I like the end of the hot dogs.
So, yeah, leave a little surprise note every once in a while. Stop that. If you're going to put it on a tee for me, kid's going to hit it out of the park. Yeah. You're going to throw me softball. Kid's going to nail it, okay? And the last thing on the list is another note thing, and be there even when you're apart. Hunterd. I know someone. I know. Let's do a whole segment. Yeah, let's do a segment where we'll be woods, okay? Let's do a segment where we're woods. Well, this is almost over, so is there another list coming up? Yeah, keep going, Sienna. Do we have another list? We'll find one. Find a list and me and Lauren will be woods. I got a bunch of stuff you should never say to your boss. That's coming up later. Let's do it right now. Give me the stuff that you should never say to your boss. Me and Lauren will be woods. Okay, let me finish that though. Be there even when you're apart. Leave a series of notes like in different places. So while the guy's gone or while the girl's gone, she'll find it like over the days. More and more notes. And that's P-I-M-P. Heard it. I'm in. P-I-M-P. Are you starting already? I'm in. You're starting already? I'm starting already. Okay. Here we go.
Okay, I have to find you the list. What are we doing? Things that you should never say to your boss. Yep. Okay, okay. And I'm going to do all woodsy-isms. All right. That's not my job. Keep your eyes on your own paper, pal. Yeah. Very good. Ding. It's not my problem. Git. That wasn't my fault. Uh-oh. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Yeah. This one's harder than the last list. That's. There we go. Nicely done. I can only do one thing at a time. Hey, call that Cadillac problems. No. Doesn't make any sense. It doesn't. These are things you never say to your boss. I am way overqualified for this job. Andre. Kid's not overqualified for anything. Kid knows how to make it right. Yeah, kid will make it right, all right? I'm in sales. That's right. Thought about it, I'm in. This job is easy. Anyone can do it. Give it to the kid. Yeah.
And the last one, that can't be done. No way. Zero percent. Grow up, Peter Pan. Zero percent. You guys are clowns, both of you. That's another one. That's fun. How many do you think that Woodsy has? A million. We tried to get a game together the other day of Woodsy-isms. We will get that game going. Somebody sent me one. Somebody sent me one about my Woodsy-isms from the bathroom. About bathroom etiquette. You're going to need to explain that. We weren't in the bathroom. We did a segment on bathroom etiquette. Are you eating cereal? Yes. Slid me a little note under the stall. We did a segment on bathroom etiquette. And I had a couple of little woodsy-isms that really fit in the bathroom. The stare? Yes, yeah. Remember all those? The toe tap? Yeah, the toe tap. If somebody's staring at you and giving you dagger eyes, he says he's giving you the Manson lamps. The Manson lamps, yep. Thought about it, I'm in. Dude, you're dumb. Slays me. Slays me. That's. A lot of them. Grow up Peter Pan. That's great. I could shank somebody. Something about shanking. Yes, a lot of shanking going on. Kid doesn't even like to be told what to do. That's a big one. Really? Yeah, really? Really, pal? Am I? Yeah. Are you? Is it? Did it. Did it. Am I? Thought about it and I'm in. Thought about it and I'm in. What about done? Here we go. Woodsy-isms, restroom chapter. Filing papers. Yeah. Yeah, that's code for number two.
The Fred Astaire. You know, you give the toe tap. The Uncle Ted, the guy that just hangs out in the bathroom. Right. And the trough. Yep. The big, giant trough. I don't watch fantasy. I like girls. Yes. Is that a good one? Yes. Are these the ones I say? Am I? I dated girls. Oh, you guys actually, you guys have been talking about me on the side. We're going back and forth with all the woodsy-isms that we're making the game. Let's roast the kid up, dude. Why not? It's Friday. Add that. 40 minutes. That's another one. Let's have a roast. Wow. We're sitting at a roast, huh? Let's have a roast. He says that every time. If more than one person makes a joke to Woodsy, he goes, oh, it's a roast. Is that what we're going to do? We're going to roast everybody? It's real fun. But he started to roast the rest of the table when we were out to lunch the other day. We were all terrified. Nobody wanted a taste of it at all. Well, you'd had a little too much.
Jay gave you. Jay said one thing. Yeah, Jay gave him one thing. Jay never says anything. Yeah, and Woods stretches. He goes, ugh. We can't even say what it is. I would feel bad because Jay's not here to defend himself. He goes, really, pal? Is that it? We're going to do this? Is this going to be a roast? We're going to do this. Okay, because when I come in every morning. No, don't say it. He started, he was going to go clockwise and start with Jay and then go to the other side of the table, which was me, Mikey, and Tienna. People were reaching for their purses. They're like, I got to go. I was slitting my own throat. Jay started off so strong. When Jay comes back on Monday, someone will remind us and we'll bring it up because that way Jay will be here to defend himself. Woodsy also says, you don't worry about that. Don't worry about it. Yeah, don't worry about it. Jamie loves that one, too. So what are you doing tonight? Where are you guys going? You don't worry about it. Well, I'm your wife. I would like to know where you're going. Don't worry about it. I'll be home when I'm home. What about that one? He also has a very impulsive Woodsy-ism. Done. So before you're even done saying it, you're like... Let's go get some lunch. Done.
You go, dude, this isn't going to be good, so I want you to think about it. But I'm thinking we get some people. We all pile into a car. We head to Vegas. Done. You haven't even heard me. I haven't even finished. Weird. What about weird? Yeah. Lauren's picking the music today. Foo Fighters, Ever Long. Brilliant. You guys got any meal breakers? Do you know what a meal breaker is? We need to do childish pranks first. I know. I'm out. I'm out. You're out? I'm out. We can get them. Got any meal breakers? What's a meal breaker? Like lipstick on a glass. That's a meal breaker. I was with you for one of mine, Michael, at Houston's in Dallas. Oh, I remember exactly what it was. It was in your drink. Oh, yeah. Remember what it was? Yep. We'll talk about it when we get back. If you have a meal breaker, what is it that happens? You're eating. You see this. You're done. You're not like you're checked out. You're not going to eat. You're not going to send it back.
You're like going into a coma, basically. 570-1949. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The July 9th, Cricket Wireless Amphitheater, presented by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. James Lehigh. The Critics Rage. We are the members of Navy Federal. Some of us come from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and the Department of Defense. Some of us have families who do. As we serve our country, we also buy cars, finance homes, educate our children, and plan for retirement.
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That's important. Just ask Mike here. Hey. Mike worked late tonight, so he had to record the ball game. Yeah, but when I got home, my whole family was watching some show in the den. Families will do that, Mike. Thanks for the tip. Luckily, you first let you record shows on one DVR and play them on any TV in the house. Cable can't do that. So the game I recorded, I can watch it on the TV in the basement? Yep. How about my bedroom? Sure. Rumpus room? No problem. Closet? Put a TV in your closet? Why, is that weird? Only AT&T U-verse lets you record your shows and play them back in any room. AT&T U-verse, a better TV experience. Now you can get $300 back via promotion cards when you get U-verse TV with other qualifying services. Call 1-800-ATT-4U. Visit an AT&T store or click att.com slash tv now. Geographic and service restrictions apply to AT&T U-verse services. Call or go to uverse.att.com to see if you qualify. Reward redemption requirement. Offer is 32010 for details. Visit att.com slash tv details. Stay tuned for a surprise free giveaway announcement. Are you predictable? When was the last time you surprised someone with something totally unexpected? At ProFlowers, we think predictability is boring. Surprises are exciting. So we're making it easy for you to be unpredictable by offering our best-selling 100 spring blooms for just $19.99. Plus, we're giving away a free glass face with every order. These 100 stunning spring blooms are bursting with color. Imagine the look on their face when...
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Sappy Movie on FM 94.9. Xavier Rudd. Well, I see. This is my window. Fortune-teller music today. We will post the music, too. You'll be able to see it on the Mikey fan page on Facebook. Welcome back to the show. Meal Breakers. Call us with Meal Breakers. 5701-949. 949mikey at gmail.com. All of the normal meal breakers that you would normally get, they don't bother me. That's weird, dude. Yep. I'm fine. Like hair in your food. I'm all right. That's ridiculous. I will. Here's what I do. Well, I said the normal. Okay. Here's what I do. That's normal. That's not normal to find in your food. But I will take it out and I just mentally pretend that it wasn't there and that it never happened.
And I keep going about my business. You're the master overthinker and that doesn't bother you. I can't believe that. I can't either. I block it out. I'm completely able to block it out. I could find a, you know, 14 inch black long woman's hair in an ice cream cone and continue to eat the ice cream cone because I just block it out. I go, oh, didn't happen. Everything's fine. Everything's all right. A tiny little hair. There's the one thing. I think I know what you're saying. I know. The same kind that Anita Hill found on the Coke can. No, I was just going to the other end of it. Yeah. If I found that, I'm shamefully going to admit that I might be able to get rid of it. I think I might. Isn't that what I just said and you said that's not normal? I thought you said with a K. I thought you said puke. No, I said pube. Oh. No. That's what I thought you said. No. I said pube. Say it again. Pube. Yeah. Yeah, I could probably, I could probably, I could probably take, you know, flick it off and then just keep going. No, you could not. No, you could not. I take my fingers, I go flick, and I'd flick it off, and I'd probably be fine. What's the worst thing you've found that you've been able to overcome? For whatever reason, an eyelash once made me come unglued. Over?
The other hair? Mm-hmm. You're sick. That's not normal. An eyelash. For some reason, that skeeved me out. All of it. All of it skeeves me out. Really? Yeah, I mean, I understand that intellectually. I'm just saying that I have the ability to take a curly hair off of my ice cream cone and continue. I don't mind if it's, like, if Jamie made dinner. I don't mind if it's hers. I'm like, oh, great. You got a hair in the food bed, but if it's some dude's. I'm out. Named Hector that had a hairnet on? That bothers you for some reason? What about a fingernail? That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. No, that's fine. That's fine. Fingernail's fine. Number one. My wife, at her last job, they took a bag of coconut shavings and they poured them all over her desk because she is so skeeved out by fingers and toenails. She's like, she almost vomited. I asked my wife. We were up in Big Bear. And we were playing Would You Rather with a bunch of friends. And we were making them up. Were you skiing up in Big Bear? Of course. I was going down the slaloms like nobody's business. Two little matchsticks tied to my feet. Tiny little skis. Lauren kills her. You want to get Lauren to laugh, make a Mikey short joke. She died. So we were making them up, right? We were coming up, making up.
Would you rather? I said, you open up a drawer in your bathroom, like a sink drawer, and you have to reach through either, you know, up to your wrist, black curly hairs, and you know what I'm talking about, or toenails. Oh, dude. Which do you pick? Honey? The hairs? You'll go through the hairs first? Lauren? Oh, if I can even say either one out loud. It's to the elbow, actually. You've got to reach down to the elbow through them, and you've got to search down there for a watch. You're looking for a watch that's down at the bottom. You've got to move your arms around, and you've got to find it down there somewhere. Yeah, she's starting to hurt. Getting the tingling. Getting the water so it's running down the back. So it's either toenails. It's either a stranger's toenails or it's, you know, the black hairs.
I have to go to toenails if I have to choose? Yeah. Toenails don't bother me. I bite my own toes, so what do you do? I bite my own toenails. Write that down. You do not. I have. No, you haven't. Sometimes you get one hanging, dude. You can't find the tweezers. Okay. Yes, you can. Ask her. You can find them. You know what you do? She just said. You do the Iditarod with a bunch of dogs pulling you on a sled until you find one. Okay? Before you do that. You're very flexible. I am. My goodness. What I like to do also is... If I clip my toenails, sometimes as a little treat, I like to put them on Jamie's pillow. No, you do not. No, you do not. I am, dude. That is mean. She's like, oh, my God. That's why I do it to you. M1 Kyle, what's a meal breaker? I found a ladybug in my salad one. Oh, they're so pretty, though. Wouldn't bother me. I would eat it. Dead or alive. Yeah, dead or alive. If it was dead, it would bother me. It was dead. If you were alive, it would have been okay. Maybe it just landed. You let it go. We were at a restaurant called Houston's in Dallas, Texas, and Woodsy found a fly in his drink. After I drank some. And he goes, it's flying my drink amount. Just like that? Just like that. See, I can just scoop it out. Warren! The alcohol kills the drink. There's no alcohol in Coca-Cola. Oh. Really? It's flying my drink amount.
Yeah, there isn't Jesse's, right, Jesse? He's like, what kind of coke are you getting? It was repugnant. I've eaten there one time since. It made me laugh so hard. Like he was crying. Apparently it wasn't their fault, though. I go, dude, there's a fly in my drink. It was so dramatic. Weird. It was the most dramatic fly ceremony ever. Let's see. This is M1 Manny. Yeah. What'd you find? Whoa. Eating, getting motivated for ethnic foods. I went into a Chinese restaurant, ordered some beef chow fun, and after a while, chewing on what I thought was a piece of meat, I was chewing on an actual band-aid. No, no, no, no, no. What's the matter with that? No. What's the matter with that? My. Wait a second. Gosh. Was the band-aid underdone? Is that the problem? Yeah. Jesse! It wasn't sliced julienne.
The Band-Aid was overdone. Excuse me, miss. My Band-Aid is underdone. Can you ask this to be taken back to the kitchen and cooked to the appropriate temperature, please? It makes my body go weak to talk about this stuff. Yeah, there's too much sauce on my Band-Aid. Yeah, I have a question. What are the dipping sauces for the Band-Aids? So gross. Somehow a problem with that? Michael. That one would get me. That's about the only one. That one would get me. I'm dying. A band-aid would get me. You all right, Woodsy? Wrong hole. Whoopi got you. Whoopi. Was that Whoopi? Yes. That's Whoopi. Sorry. Derail. Was it the overdone band-aid that did it for you? Yeah, I got to go home.
570-1949. Cookie, cookie, cookie. Or text us 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Meal breakers. Mikey, when I asked for well-cooked eggs and they're still white, runny egg whites. That broke one for Sienna. Yeah. You were with her. I didn't send it back. I just ate everything else. She pushed it all to the side. Yeah. Yeah. ladybug in my food, that'd be fine. Yeah, me too. I'd let it go. Back in the wild. That's right. Where it belongs. I would free its spirit. Me too. Ceremoniously. Mikey, a meal breaker for me was biting into a piece of undercooked chicken. Yes. That'll get you. Pink. Yeah, when it's pink. Oh, dude. What about, have you ever gone to the bathroom and like fully enjoyed your meal and on your way to it? In the bathroom?
Like me? Oh, no. No, at a restaurant. You're like, oh, that was good. I'm just going to go wash up or whatever. And then you see something scurry across the floor. Are you kidding? I've never seen that. Have you not? I have. You've been at a restaurant and seen something scurry across the floor? We got a second? Yeah. Went to a first... Last and only time I've ever been to an Indian food restaurant. Yeah. Went to an Indian food place in South Bend, Indiana. First of all, that's probably my first mistake. Great Indian food in South Bend. Yeah. That's what I think of when I think of Pompadour. You don't think of Notre Dame? No. You think of Indians. Indian food. Yeah. So my roommate convinced me to go. We eat. And I didn't like it from the get-go. And I just got curried chicken and rice. I did not like it. I wasn't a fan. I had a few bites. And I go, I'm going to go to the restroom. Walked to the bathroom. And I saw. A cockroach. Yep. Run across the floor, and I immediately, knowing me and my weak stomach, I was like, and the combination of how bad the food was and that, I felt bad, so I asked him to wrap it up because I barely ate it. I took the food outside with me. I vomited in the parking lot, and then I threw the food against the wall of the restaurant and left because they made me throw up in their parking lot. I was beyond furious. You're like the funniest movie.
You're like the funniest scene in the movie. That was it. Scenes from your life are the funniest scene in the movie. For sure. Remember the part of the movie where the guy gets sick on the Indian food, throws up in the parking lot, and throws the styrofoam against the wall? I hate to throw up. I cry. Unlike the rest of us who absolutely adore it. I cry. I cry. I'm like, I'm going to throw up. And it tears. Dude, that was me. Did you do that when you were a kid? Yeah. I used to go like... I hate it so much. And my roommate is on the floor. That entire time stuff is still coming out of his mouth. The driving is the worst. My roommate was on the ground laughing, and I was so mad that he was laughing, and that I vomited, and that I saw a cockroach, so I just, I just, bam, against the whole restaurant and walked out. And said, yeah, it's never again. 570-1949. The cure close to me. Lauren's picking the music today. She'll print it on the Facebook fan page. The Mikey Show fan page. Listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9.
Coming to San Diego Saturday, March 27th. Air. Air. March 27th at the 4th and B. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Air's brand of electronica music influenced by the synthesizers of the 70s live at the 4th and B. Saturday, March 27th. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com for Air. March 27th at the 4th and B. Must be 21 with proper ID. All year long, your car or truck faces sun, salt, road grime, and who knows what else. Everyone can see what that does to the finish. At Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts, you'll find a tremendous selection of washes, waxes, cleaners, wipes, towels, and chamois. Today's products can protect the finish and bring the shine back to one of your favorite investments. Get the best brands at low prices with great advice from people you know at Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts.
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Looks like they gave me some of your mail by mistake. Uh-huh. Then you must have my missing lottery check. Nah, I'm keeping that. But here's the rest. Oh, wait, look. Another home loan offer. What you think? Indiana or Idaho? Where's it from? Not sure, but when I refinanced my home loan, I went closer to home. Really? Where? San Diego County Credit Union. San Diego County Credit Union handles home loans? Sure. Home loans, equity loans, refinancing, the whole enchilada. And they have a branch about a mile from here. Yeah, they're close, but... How about their rates? Really competitive. And San Diego County Credit Union's been around for over 70 years. So they aren't going anywhere, huh? Unlike me. I'm taking my kids to the park. Hey, let me know if my lottery check turns up.
A great home loan is closer than you think. Just visit one of our convenient San Diego County Credit Union locations. Call 877-SDCCU for you or visit SDCCU.com. San Diego County Credit Union. Equal housing lender. Federally insured by NCUA. Kurt, you're a moodle. A moodle? A man poodle. Girls, they want to feed you. They want to cuddle you. But no girl wants to do the moodle. Rolling Stone Rage. She's out of my league is a date movie must. Come on in for a dip. I don't even have a bathing suit. Underwear is fine. Underwear would be fine. If I were wearing any. And critics declare it's the funniest comedy since The Hangover. I think that Debbie here is one wicked hot box. Thanks, baby. And this chick of yours makes her look like a pig. What? She's out of my league. Rated on. Under 17. Not a minute without parent. Now playing. To see more, go to she'soutofmyleague.com. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there.
Mama Testa Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to be on the radio and my name was Michael Shannon. And I wore suspenders. Woods. I buy sticker price for everything. Lauren. Yes. I'm going to get a wheatgrass shot. Sienna. That's why I keep the antibacterial hand gel in my purse at all times. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. Welcome back. What new movies are coming out this weekend, Sienna? Some good ones. What do we got? Now, this movie, you guys won't recognize it, but any little kid reads these books all the time, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and they're making a movie of it. It's out today. Here's a clip. Let me just say for the record. The middle school is the dumbest idea ever invented. This place is an intellectual wasteland. You got kids like me who haven't hit their growth spurt yet. Mixed in with gorillas who have to shave twice a day. You're based on the best-selling book. Don't talk to anyone. Don't look at anyone. Don't sit down. You gotta be 12, right? I'll guarantee I'll go see it. I would see that because I bought them for my nephew, Jacob. I bought...
both of those books for him, and he loved them. Really? Yeah. It's the new Goosebumps. It's the new Judy Blume, Mike. Yeah. Put it in perspective. Yeah, yeah. You're 34, though. Yeah, that's okay. Superfudge? Superfudge. What else? Also out is Repo Man. That's with Forrest Whitaker. Oh, yeah. Jude Law. Where they take back the parts. Forrest Whitaker. I love you, Jenny. That's right. That dude. Let me just reassure you that our credit department will find a plan for your lifestyle. I want to see this. I just don't get it. They donate parts to people, but you have to pay for them, and if you don't, they take them back. Yeah, but... It looks kind of cool. I'd go see it just for Jude Law. Yeah, who wouldn't? Also out the bounty hunter, Jennifer Aniston, Gerard Butler. This one's been on TV and being publicized for like the last two years. It's finally out that I was even arrested in the first place. Hello, Nick. Yeah, but why didn't you show up to court today? Oh. Hi, Milo. Fancy meeting you here. Yeah. Do you think it's a romantic comedy? I think it is. Every movie there is. I don't know what you have to, but I'm working. I'm out. The Runaways. That's the Joan Jett movie with Kristen Stewart. That looks good. Dakota Fanning. That's real good. That looks great. Mm-hmm. City Island is also out. Greenberg, Hubble 3D, and Vin Sear. Mm. There you go. Yeah.
570-1949 is our number. And you can give us a call at the beginning and end of every show. We do open phones. You can call about anything you want. I want to remind you that the run for Chelsea is happening tomorrow morning. They're going to finish Chelsea King's run tomorrow morning, which is a really, really cool thing. It's happening at 9 o'clock, and everybody is going to meet at Lake Hodges. And this is the really cool thing about it. First of all, it's a free thing. It's a three-mile run. The route's been mapped out by her high school cross-country coach. And parking around Lake Hodges is limited. So what they're going to do is they're going to provide a free shuttle service from North County Fair. So you can park there. They'll take you in, encouraging people to wear blue or orange. And really, really cool. So if anybody wants to go out there and support that, it's a pretty cool cause. So we'd love to see people go out there and get behind it.
570-1949 is our number. And you can also text us 949mikey at gmail.com. I am going to be speaking at Sunrise Community Church in Santee this weekend. I got a Sunday and I have two. There's going to be two services that I'm speaking at. I'm speaking at the 9 a.m. and the 1030 a.m. And it's really different. I've never done this before. I'm using a PowerPoint presentation. Oh. Never done that. How long did it take Rebecca to do that presentation? Really, how long? No, seriously, how long? Believe it or not. No way. Jared did it. Yeah, of course. Of course. Jared did it. Of course Jared did. Have you had a lesson? Jared can Photoshop my face on the Axl Rose. I know. He can do your PowerPoint. It's the truth. Dude, it looks so cool. I'm sure. Oh, you should see it. It's great. It's amazing. Music, everything. It's great. Dude, that's awesome. Yeah, so. That's this weekend at Sunrise Church. Don't forget about Midnight Tonight. Woods, what comes out on DVD? I don't know what you're talking about. Blah, blah, blah. Midnight Tonight. What is it? I'm Edward. That's why you have that wristband on right now. This is what would Edward do? Yeah. Team Edward, sure. My wife's a Team Jacob and I'm a Team Edward. Must have a lot of fights at home. We do. Twilight's New Moon will be out on DVD. Midnight Tonight. I got to get home and get a nap.
So we can hit Blockbuster at 1150. M1V1. Yo, yo, what's up, everybody? What's going on? Hey, I just wanted to tell a funny little story about how my wife has been hating on the hardcore woods because I have developed a bad case of the pals. Oh, the pals. And a worst case of the gits. That's the best. Yeah, the pals, the pallies. Have you thrown the pally around yet? Oh, yeah, I throw it around all the time. It used to be, you know, hey, what's up, man, or bro, or bud, and now it's always, hey, pal. Hey, what's up, pal? How you doing, Pally? And I'll do it, you know, in front of my wife sometimes, and she'll be like, oh, my God, why do you do that? And then you just say? And I just say, get it. Atta boy. Yeah, you go, you keep your eyes on your own papers, all right? You don't worry about it. You don't worry about that. Right on. I'm a part of my family. You're doing great. And I hope all you guys have a great weekend. Thank you. You too. Thank you, man. All right, bye, guys. Now get. 570-1949 is the number. Anybody else doing anything that you want to promote or anything like that? I'm playing ball. Yeah, he is. Sunday, 1.30. Nice. Yep. It's pretty cool. I'm excited. Every Friday at the end of the show, I tell you my story. And I do.
I tell you this story because I know that there are some people that may be listening that share a similar experience. That's what I tell you. And the changes that happened in my life. As a result, when I was a little kid, I was a victim of sexual abuse. The thing about that was that that is something that I did not talk about until just a few years ago. The reason is that I kept it secret was because I was ashamed of it. I didn't want anybody to know. I've had a host of things. In my life that I didn't want anybody to know about. Eating disorders. Used to make myself throw up. I did it. Because I desperately wanted to. Look a certain way. And I wanted people to like me. I had a very very. Deep desire for people to like me. You ever met people before that say. I don't care what anybody thinks. That was not me. I was the opposite of that. To the point where. I would go to any lengths.
to have people like me or to be accepted. The problem was, is that for the most part through my life, I never felt that. Always felt like an outsider. Ugly, insecure, and a lot of low self-esteem. And maybe you're listening right now and you have felt that too. There have been times in my life where I have felt very, very deep feelings of desperation. I just felt desperate. When I say desperate, what I mean by that is I just didn't know what way to turn. Feelings of loneliness. A lot of feelings of very intense loneliness. In my 20s and my 30s, I was using drugs and I was drinking a lot. The reason that I was doing that is because I wanted to numb out. When I got into my 30s, I was doing that to the point where it was really starting to affect my life.
And I was addicted to the point with alcohol where I couldn't stop drinking. I've said before that I don't know what day that happens. You go one day and you're completely non-addicted. And the next day you are addicted. I don't know when that happened. But I knew one night that I was just miserable in my life. I was lonely. I was desperate. And I felt hopeless. I didn't feel like there was much on the horizon for me. And there may be people that are listening right now that have a similar feeling, like there's not much on the horizon. And as you're listening right now, you're going, it's almost as if he's talking to me directly. One night in 2003, I gave up trying to run it myself, and I asked Jesus Christ to come into my life and change my life. And that began a very slow process that continues even to this day of him changing me.
He's able to give me comfort and get through things that I never thought that I would get through. Attacks by other individuals. Personal things that happen in my life. Things that have happened with my parents. Things that I've gone through with my son. And I've gotten through those things. I no longer feel desperate. I don't have those feelings anymore. Last night, I was reading my son. I wasn't reading him. story I was making up a story I do that for him sometimes I make up these little stories for me he loves him he loves him and he was loving the one so much last night that when I got to the end of it and I said the end his chin started quivering his little bottom lip stuck out and his eyes filled up with tears almost made me cry and the reason that he did that was because he didn't want the story to end and I said what's the matter Bob he said I don't want it to end I used to feel like I wanted it to end
If you feel any of those feelings of addiction or any of that stuff that I talked about, depression, any of it, go to MikeyShow.com right now. And if you go there, you can click on the help section. There's all kinds of resources there for you to get help. Whether it's an eating disorder or addiction or any of that stuff, there's resources there for you to get help. And that's the way that I got help. I play a song at the end of the show. This one's by a band called Third Day, and it's called Tunnel. The words to the song are really, really inspirational to me. So I want you to really listen to the words in this song if you're feeling any of those feelings that I've described. Give yourselves a big round of applause in here today. Great day in here. See you again on Monday. Hillary's up next. I won't pretend to know what you're thinking. Know what you're going through. The music all day and night. FM 94.9. The music.