The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/18/11

0:05Think about this for a Let's Get Up Friday song. Now, they're saying that this song by Rebecca Black is the new Charlie Sheen. And what they mean by that is that it's taken over as the new it thing. Yes. The reason it's taken over as the new it thing is because of its deplorability. It's awful. It's the worst. They say that it's probably the most poorly written song to ever be written. What? Did I hear my name? Yeah, Charlie. Hello. Yeah, it's over.

1:13I'm replaced by her. You've been replaced by her, yeah. You're milking it, pal. You're no longer the it item. Aren't I? No. I'm winning. I'm still winning. You're no longer winning. I'm not losing, so I'm tying. You are not tying. I'm tying. You're in second place to Rebecca Black's song. I'm in third place. Tsunami got me, too. Tsunami got me. That's true. That's true. And Jennifer Lopez leaked a song, so you're actually fourth. No way I'm getting beat by her. She's on American Idol right now. It's great. Scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has. It's on. It's on. Do you know the backstory behind Rebecca Black? Sienna, do you know anything about her? I want to know everything. I want to know where she's from. I want to know how old she is. I want to know who funded this video. I want to know... There's a video on YouTube. That's like a video. Is it like a good video? Well, yeah. You can tell it costs money. It's a production company out of L.A. is what we originally reported. Yeah, we talked about it. We did? Uh-huh. I'm looking now. The day before that was Wednesday. And the day before that was Tuesday. Oh, shut up. And my name. Stop. Move forward.

2:32Is also a color L-O-B. I just Googled her to try to find out this information for you. Yeah. It says, do you think Rebecca Black hates Fridays now? Oh my God. Dude, it's not the worst song I've ever heard. It's not. It's not. I've heard way worse. I have too. The production of it doesn't, I'm not mad at it. It's just what she's saying. The lyrics are pretty bad, but hey, if you, it's, you can take that and you can take. Rockstar by Nickelback. Yeah. And those, you put them on a scale, about dead even. Okay, now according to my brother Steve, Nickelback was intended to be tongue-in-cheek. Sticky, yeah. It was intended to be shticky. Doesn't make it better. Okay, she did, Rebecca Black did not make Friday to be shticky. Right. I think Nickelback was going for some sort of like Pulitzer. Some sort of award. Trying to win an award? Yeah. Like the Bob Dylan Songwriting Award? Yeah. Something like that. Yeah, something like that. They were going for a Grammy. Here's a couple things I know about her just from searching this last two seconds. Yeah. She's from Orange County. Yeah. She's an eighth grader, 13 years old. That makes me feel bad. Poor thing. And she never thought. She made fun of an eighth grader. Yeah. Great. She never thought. I should be picked up by an Australian chubby kid and slammed the ground. Body slammed. She's been viewed over 13 million times on YouTube. Wow.

3:54Just this month. And she, I'm just scrolling through. I wonder how she feels about it. I just read something two seconds ago. I didn't know who she was when I saw the news story. And it says that she's been getting bullied now. Cyber bullied. Cyber bullied. Weird. That sucks. Yeah. She's signed by, I'm trying to find the agency. Joe's Agency, I think. Joe's Agency. Oceanside. It's Arc Music Factory in L.A., and I guess they're known for signing young, pre-teen type girls. Yeah. I wonder if your average 13-year-old loves Rebecca Black Friday. They love Fridays. I know that. They do. It's true. That part gets me. Oh, man. Why'd you stop that? Who's that guy? It's her buddy. It's her buddy? It's her buddy, Nick. Yeah. They're in social studies together. Nick has a full beard. Yeah, and he can drive. Yes.

5:02Getting arrested for being with a bunch of young girls, young girls. I mean, this guy should be getting more grief than her. He's like 35. What am I doing in a car with this girl? What am I doing in a car with this girl? I'm going to get arrested, go to prison. Shouldn't be in a car with this girl. That's a white guy, by the way. Guaranteed. No, he's not. Guaranteed. No, he's not. Are you sure? I've seen the video. Oh, wow. I think it's a white guy, but they got a black guy to step in for him. Give it some more cred. Yeah. You know? He sounds like a white guy. Yeah. Sharp looking guy. Poor girl. She saw this video after it was made. Was like, oh, this is good. Showed it to her dad. And he was like, oh, it's real sweet, honey. Good job. Good job. And then everyone's like, it's the worst thing I've ever seen. People are monsters. It's not that bad. It wouldn't be viewed 13 million times if we didn't like it. No. People view stuff because people view stuff. Yeah. You go, people are viewing that? I got to view that. Yep. It's a car crash. That's not that bad. No, it's not that bad. I've seen way worse. I mean, it's not great. It's not great. But it sounds like you could pull it off iTunes tomorrow.

6:21Kevin Roberts, a food dude, is coming in at 7.30. The food dude. Food dude. He's got some great restaurants here in San Diego. A restaurant. One of the owners of the East Village Tavern and Bowl. It's good. Makes good food. He's been on TV shows for cooking and everything. That place is rad. Yeah, it's awesome. It is rad. I feasted on a plate of potato skins there, and they were delicious. You did? Yeah, you were hoarding them and not sharing them at all. Correct. You guys, Sienna's giving me a word of the day I can't pronounce. Weird. Can I see it? Platano? Platano. Platano. I taught it to you when we did manzana. Manzana is what? Can we just do beard? Nope. Manzana is apple. You're learning. I want you to be able to speak Spanish one day. All right. In 2036. Listen, enjoy it. Today is the last Spanish word of the day. Soak it in. Enjoy it. Platano. Platano. Platano. Mike, don't be frustrated. Monday will be wrench or something. You know? Platano? Platano. Platano. And then Sienna will do this to me. In a commercial break, she'll go, work that in here. And I'll be, Platano. Platano. Platano. I dropped my Platano. If you don't want it, I'll work it in today if it bothers you. Okay. Today, Sienna. Today, Sienna.

7:48No, because then people, if they don't live... Okay. Platano. Platano? Platano. Platano. Platano. Do you want me to change it? Yeah. Just make it banana. Make it like... It's button. Button. Button. I like it. I won't say that. That'll be a hard word for me to remember to not say. Yes. Okay, so today's word of the day is button. That's a good one. You ever just bail and erase? I know, but I can't. So many Mexicans are so mad at me. I'm trying to help. Hey, March Music Madness started yesterday at 10. Really, really cool. Go to FM949SD.com and check out March Music Madness. It's brackets, but with bands. Yeah, it's really cool. It's fun, man. Speaking of brackets, the tournament, all that stuff, how about those Aztecs, right? Yeah! Good job. Big win last night, man. 68-50. Now, read a couple stories. Now, they did not look good. They did not look good. They were letting Northern Colorado hang around. So they literally said, when we went into the locker room at halftime, we were ready to get filleted. We were going to get filleted. We knew we were going to get filleted. Coach Fisher walked in, talked to him.

8:58Like normal. Hey, he didn't freak out, which was great. Maybe I take that lesson, apply it to my little leaguers since we've lost three straight. I'm going to do that with my guys. I'm not going to freak out. I'm going to talk to them like adults, even though they're 12. So Coach Fisher walks in, talks to the guys. They came out, lights out, 68-50 win. And just a huge, huge thing, man. It's so important, obviously, to get off to a really good start because you lose once and you're done. But, yes, everybody's excited. Jay's really excited. Jay's really excited. Well, Jay has them winning the whole thing. Yeah, Jay also competing this weekend in diving. Diving competition, correct, correct. So now San Diego State gets seventh-seeded Temple, who barely won against Penn State, and that will be around 3-10 on Saturday. Rad, rad, rad, rad. Got Coach Fisher, if you want to hear a little bit of audio of him after the game. Well documented, this is our first. NCAA postseason win. Our players don't care about that. They were only been a part of one other, and they liked this a whole lot better than a year ago. Exactly, and he actually said in this clip, Mike, that a lot of San Diego State fans were out there, and he said it makes it feel like a home game. We got what we wanted, and we had a great group of San Diegans who came here to support this team.

10:21It felt like a home crowd. It felt like a home court. And that's immensely helpful. That's cool. That's awesome. And some other big games. Well, Miguel, I'm sorry. What do I know? Your champion, the Louisville Cardinals, lost. It might as well have been the Brawley Toritos. How did you choose them to win? Who? Louisville. I just start highlighting. That's it? L-O-B. It doesn't matter. Matters a little bit. Not really. You don't want to put any sort of skill into it? No. Listen, every time. Jay won last year by doing that. That's true. Didn't know anything. But he looked at, you at least looked at like the seeds and stuff like that? Nope. Nope. No, he just circled. He seriously. Bam, bam, bam, bam. But anyway, so my. I don't know anything about college. Okay, this is what I can tell you. I know that Duke's good.

11:24I know that North Carolina's good. No, they're not. Not this year. I don't know anything. I don't either. I just highlight. I just pick a team. Yeah. Randomly. Well, you picked... LLB, though, she's very thorough. Yes. She will study. Yes. She will call... She will go as far as to call Dionne Warwick from Psychic Friends and the Psychic Friends hotline and say, Dionne, what are you seeing? She goes, I don't know, baby. Just highlight. Yeah. Well, you picked Louisville to take the whole thing, and they lost to Moorhead State by one. I felt bad for you. I really did when I saw it. Moorhead State? What's that? Yeah, it was the 13 against the 4. 13 seed beat the 4 seed, and there was some other. Vanderbilt was a 5. They lost to Richmond. There were some really good games yesterday. I slept through most of them. Nude. Wow, wow, wow. I thought you were going to watch Nude. I started watching nude, and then I fell asleep nude, and then I woke up nude. Oh, my God. Why naked? It's comfortable. It's not. You don't sleep nude? Not all the time. Okay. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's a nude nap. Not all the time. Meaning. Well, sometimes. Occasionally. Occasionally. Sometimes you go out and you have a fun night. Oh, wow.

12:45Okay, so I get you. You just fall asleep. So if horseplay is happening, then yes. But if not... Motorboat? You play the motorboat? I don't... I don't... I'm not comfortable being just naked. Yeah. I want to have something on. T-shirt and underwear is what most girls wear. Yeah. Go on. Some sweatpants. Oh, well. Like, whatever. Sweatpants? Sweatpants. I can sleep. Sweatpants? Not me. I'm sorry I put sweatpants on. Sweatpants! I'm uncomfortable right now. You know what I want to know about your sweatpants? I regret ever saying that. You know what I want to know about your sweatpants? Why do you want to know about my sweatpants? I want to know how you got over the twisting of them. Twisting? Yeah, don't you wake up and like the... They're like yoga pants. Oh, okay. They're tight. Yeah, I live in those pants. Go on. Oh, boy. People haven't said go on since the 18th century. Stands to reason, doesn't it, that Jay would say it? Go on. Go on. You may continue. Proceed. Are you going to turn that up or down, my friend? You turn it up? A little bit. I'm going to turn it up a little bit. So, yeah. I did watch some basketball, but I was so run down and so tired. I'm just imagining you sitting on your couch naked. I wasn't in my couch. I was in my bed. Five dogs. I was in my bed. Were your dogs in your bed, too? No. They all stayed downstairs. I was solo nap.

14:10Solo. And it was... Beat it. Fair enough. Oh, boy. M1 Nubian Prince is on the line. Hello, boo. Good, man. How you doing? I'm stoked, man. I'm stoked. Yeah, dude. Real good. I want to tell you, man, yesterday I was by Senator State doing laundry. And I'm walking into this laundromat right by, I think it's... with bonds over there. And this girl, I almost step on her dog and hold a bunch of mattresses, sorry, comforters. And she goes, hey, nice bracelet. And I was like, what? And I look at her, she goes, yeah, nice bracelet. And I look at her arm and she's got a B different on. Nice.

15:03And I shook her mind. I'm like, oh, dude, what's up? And she goes, hey, I listen to the Mikey show. That's great. I was like, oh, right on, girl. Oh, love connection? Yeah. Yeah, did you guys make out? Here you go, dog. Her boyfriend, Dana, her boyfriend is the one that actually listens. And she got onto it from her boyfriend. So we just were talking about it. There you go. That's killer. She's not married. What's that? Nubian princess married, isn't he? No. No, no, no. Actually, you know what? I think I met somebody. Oh. What? What's her name? Ooh, Ella B is a little jealous. She got real jealous. I'm mad about this. I don't know. I was just asking. Yeah. Yeah, she's a real cool girl. There you go. What's her name? I'm not going to say it. All right. Maybe we get her on the phone. Let's go. Maybe we don't. Wait, Kate Hudson over here? You're not going to talk about your love life? Seriously. He probably doesn't want to jinx him. All right. He's probably in an early stage. You know what? He probably just met her and she's like, I just heard you talking about me on the radio. It's over. You're jumping the gun a little bit here, pal. It's over. Have you gone on a date? No. No, man. No. Haven't even gone on a date yet. Have you made love yet? Woods. Woods. Stop it. Winning. Love you, Nubian Prince. I love you. Good morning. Thank you, man.

16:25Yeah, if you want a Be Different bracelet, you go to BeDifferentPact.org. And it's a pact that we make as a group of people to say that we want to be nicer to people, that we live in a culture that's jacked, that we live in a culture that's mean, that we live in a culture that treats other people like crap. And this is a reminder to think of other people before we think of ourselves. And it's a free bracelet. And so go to Be Different Pact. Heath Bell is behind it. Head from formerly of Corn is behind it. Sonny from POD. Ryan Matthews from the Chargers. And am I forgetting anybody? Penny Bell Woods. Penny Bell Woods is one of Woods' Yorkshire Terriers. Yes. And there's actually a picture of her wearing a B-different bracelet. True story. With her little paw up to her eye. Yep. It's hysterical. It says Penny Bell Woods is different. That's right. It's great. Don't know if you noticed or if you've been outside today, but there is a full moon that is as full as it gets. And from what I've heard, it's the fullest, brightest moon in seven hundred billion thousand.

17:40100 light years. It's being a little dramatic. Yeah. But it's actually on Saturday night, but you may have noticed when you walked out of your house this morning or when you look out the window, it's really bright. I mean, usually when I walk out to my car, I can't see anything, and I can see perfectly. So on Saturday night, the full moon is a super perigee moon, which is my favorite. I'm going to explain it. When it's a perigee, the moon is about 31,000 miles closer to Earth than it is normally. And it's 14% brighter and 30%... Oh, uh-oh. Fired. I get the BB gun. It's 14% bigger and 30% brighter. So on Saturday night... Doesn't even make sense. Bigger. Maybe bigger, but... You say the word bigger, Jacob. That, that. But the last full moon that was this big and bright was in 1993. So it's been almost 20 years. Really? Yeah. So you're going to want to check it out. I wonder how it happens like that. The sun's hitting it more directly. Maybe. That's how the moon is illuminated. It's closer to Earth. Things are hot. I just pop one of those in my mouth. That Listerine thing. Ooh, mamacita. Light me up. Man.

18:57Lighten me up. Woodsy cannot handle anything like even remotely spicy. It's Listerine. I'm like. A Listerine strip. Yeah. It's lighting me up. It's like you just ate a raw habanero. It's true. It's true. I have a question for you about the full moon thing. Yeah. Would you ever go in the ocean if it was really bright? If the moon was. Are you out? No, because I heard somebody had told me that they'd done it like a moonlight surf one time, and I want to do it, but I'm scared to death. I know. That's why. Yeah, you'd be like Chrissy. You guys. Come on. Have you done it, Jay? There's nothing like swimming in the ocean at night. I swam in there at night, but it is at dusk, and after is when feeding time is. This was no boating accident. It wasn't Jack the Ripper. It was a shark. A white shark. What are the two things sharks do? Well, sharks do two things. Make little sharks and eat. That's all they do. They're an eating machine. You would never? Ever. Oh, I love it. I want to. First of all, forget Fulma. I wouldn't go in the ocean at night. Period. You got to go in the red tide. It's so fun. It lights up.

20:22That'd be awesome. It's fun to go dive at night, too. Oh, it's the best. No way. You know what's fun to do at night? Watch HBO and eat. Sleep. You need to try it. There's a lot of beaches, like the houses on the beach will have these huge lights that will shine out. And you can see what you're doing, you know, if you stay close to the shore. I can see what I'm doing with my hand in a bag of Doritos with HBO on at 10 o'clock at night. Watching Batman Returns for the 50th time. It's freeing. You're like, oh, you feel. Yeah. Skinny dipping. Oh, yeah. So fun. It would look like Black's Beach if I was skinny dipping. Rotund, nude man running naked into the water. Running really fast. What is that, an innie? Talk about your belly button. Innie. Wiener time. Oh, my God. Big. What? Guy just sitting there waiting for words. He's like a German shepherd lapping up the toilet water. So there's now SAT questions about reality TV. Of course not.

22:06Of course there are. On last Saturday's SAT college admission test, there was an essay question and it was about the merits and what you think of reality television. What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that. I can get behind. People were outraged that there would be a reality TV related question. A lot of people aren't. Just because, you know, it's not about. People ever freak out. But you know what that's for, Sienna? It's to gauge their writing skills. It's not about their knowledge of the topic. You're supposed to be like, and Snooki, blah, blah, blah. It's their testing your writing skills. Yeah, their testing, yeah. That's how you're writing something. If there were questions that were like, in episode three of season two of Jersey Shore, what did Snooki say to Vinny? You know what I mean? That would be a problem. The question was, basically, do people benefit from reality television? But it's controversial because it was about reality TV. Yeah. People ever like to get mad. About just anything and everything. They don't put essay questions on history on there. They just want to see how you write. I would be stoked if it was reality TV and I was in high school. I'd be able to write on that all day.

23:16Get ready for a turd of a weekend, sorry. But it's not going to be nice out there. It's going to be raining. Yeah, it's supposed to be raining tomorrow. A few times there's going to be some showers. Today's mostly sunny and Sunday is going to be cloudy. Back to rain again on Monday. So today we're looking at sun, tomorrow rain, Sunday clouds, Monday rain. And then it's supposed to be nice again for a couple days and then rain again. And then rain on the weekend. It says rain again next weekend. You know those fountains that we... We love the kinds of the rock and the water and the pump and the whole thing. We got one put in at the house. Really relaxed me. I get very relaxed with those. The running water bit. The running water bit. And it's got a light on it and the whole thing, you know? And Harold, M1 Harold, is an electrician. And he came and he had to put basically a power outlet on the wall, right? So he puts a power outlet on the wall. And this British guy. Which I wish we could get this guy in the air. He's different from the other British handyman we had. He's a new British handyman. You like the Brits doing handiwork. I guess. Dude, I thought this guy was from Scotland. Because the accent was like this. It was so pronounced. It was so pronounced. Yeah. And so I really thought that he was a Scots. Scotsman. Scotsman. And I go, are you from Scotland? And he goes, Manchester, actually. And I just.

24:44Got quiet. I felt like a douche. But anyway, he hung this 150 pound. He goes, it's a beautiful stone. That's awesome. It's the most beautiful stone I've ever seen. Do you mind if when I'm done, I take a picture of it? And I said, no, I don't mind. It's just, I've never seen such a gorgeous stone. But anyway, so Harold puts the wall thing in and texted me this. See what you think about this, Woods. He said, hey, bro, I was thinking about the fountain. Cancel the installer. You and Woods install it. He says, it'll be a manly thing for you guys. It would be good manly therapy. And you'll have a good sense of accomplishment. Now, for one quarter of a second, and I mean that long, I considered it.

25:48But that's how long I considered it. And then I didn't consider it anymore. I said, no. But let's say that I had been on mushrooms, psychedelic mushrooms. Okay. And I had decided, okay, let's do that. And I said, Woods, let's do this thing, right? And for some weird reason, you were on psychedelic mushrooms. I was also on mushrooms. And agreed. Yes. Would have to be. This guy realized that the wall socket, when you plugged in the thing, it stuck out about a quarter of an inch too much. So he had to recess the electrical socket into the wall. Can you imagine, Woods, if you and I had run up against that problem? I would have just walked out. What, L.O.B.? I want to say to M1 Harold, where do you get off? Yeah, who do you think you are? What is he talking about?

26:42Why did he say that? I am on board with him. Yeah. No. Yes. You guys should try it. Zero percent. How do you know you won't be able to do it? Because we know. First of all, first of all, I would have turned, both of us would have turned into a piece of crispy bacon. Yeah. You know what? We would have died. killed ourselves. You would have done some research and you would have figured it out and the feeling you guys would have had when you were done, oh, there's nothing better. There's nothing better. There's so much better. You would have said so many dirty words that would have put me in the fetal and I would have been upset. But I'm old woman. And we'd have called Jay finally. You guys would have figured it out. No way. And you guys would have been like, when you're done, instead of having like a... you know, a beer or something, you guys would go to McDonald's and you guys would cheer over fries and you would be so happy. We would have screwed it up. Yeah, bad. We would have screwed it up. I would have. And then finally we would call someone professional. I would have screwed it up. Everything would have been messed up. With electricity? No. That's not your first project. Start with like a birdhouse. We build a birdhouse. I'll build a birdhouse with you. Mailbox. Mailbox. No messing around. Okay. Listen, I'm going to turn the music off for a second because I got to say this.

27:57I'm going to give you a very, very strong warning, M1s, that what I'm going to play when we come back is bleeped and is very, very adult in nature. So if you have little ears, well, first of all, if you have kids in the car, you've got to know that from time to time we may be kid-friendly, but we're not a show for kids. We're a show geared towards adults. But I have a clip. of Andrew Dice Clay being serious, but he's also being bleeped. And although I don't agree with the language, I'm on board with what he's saying. And we'll play that for you. I just want you to know, though, it isn't for the faint of heart. And it's next. Make some noise in here with our live studio audience. Woody's having a little donut this morning. Donuts. Just as cute as a button. Donuts. That's right.

29:30Kid likes donuts. What are you going to do? Yeah, what are you going to do? I like pastries and pies and donuts and candies and cheesecakes. Sweet. Cheesecake! Ice cream! It's funny because he's fat. We got together as a show for our one year anniversary at a restaurant. Really? And they brought cheesecake at the end of the night. And Woods said... Cheesecake! And he had a glass of wine in his hand. I love cheesecake! A glass of water and a wine glass, and he put the wine glass down. It shattered. Smashed it. He slammed the wine glass, and the stem and the bottom of the glass got disconnected because he was so excited over the cheesecake. So excited over the cheesecake. Cheesecake! Okay, this will give you the idea of what we're talking about here, okay?

30:28Do you know what the cookie monster sounds like about cookies? Yep. I love cookies. Cookie? It was kind of like that. He's eating a donut during this whole story. Cool thing is, though, Woods, we let you forget about it. Yeah. The next morning. I had an email from Lauren that said, pipe down glass. Glass. Glass. Broke a glass. Easy glass. Pipe down glass. I looked at it and I went... So fat you break a glass over the announcement of cheesecake. That was my favorite line. I hate all of you. Hey, if you want to get a beautiful portrait print, basically you take a photograph, you have it turned into what looks like a high-end oil painting. Just go to portraitprints.net. And Jared will hook you up. PortraitPrints.net. It's really awesome. Should get one done of donuts. That's right, Woods. Instead of dogs playing poker, you could have donuts playing poker. Or just me surrounded by donuts. Like a nude, like a nude paradise. How great would that be? 570-1949 is our number. And if you want to text us, 949Mikey at gmail.com. Do we have a winner, Chris? I think we do. Well, maybe not.

31:49People are... It's early. It's tough. Yeah. Just waking up. Gotta get them on the toes. We gotta talk about... You gotta... Let's see. M1 Kenny from San Diego. What was the word of the day? It was button. That's right. Good job. Got a four-pack of tickets to the Nationwide Series and tickets to go see the San Diego Derby Dolls. Hang on the line, okay? Nice. Thank you. A little bit. We gotta talk about... Big talk today is radiation. Perfect. Yeah. Do we have anything to worry about? Obama talked about it yesterday, and we will play his comments in just a minute. Let's see. Okay, so I'm going to reiterate to you that if you're listening right now and you do have kids around, probably not going to want them to hear this. It's pretty adult in nature. So I'm giving you a fair warning, and it is approximately a minute long. This is Andrew Dice Clay.

32:52talking about Charlie Sheen, and he's actually kind of serious about it. Charlie Sheen. You know what gets me about something like that? Nobody's got the balls to tell this guy how fucked up he is. Let me tell you something, Charlie. I used to be a big fan of what you do. You did some great movies in the past, and you get an opportunity to be on one of the greatest sitcoms of this decade, and then you go on TV and promote drugs. You call that winning when you get... Get the help you need. You're not a rock star. You're not a comic. You're the biggest loser in the world as far as i'm concerned okay go get the help you need nobody's on twitter watching you going hey charlie's great charlie's winning everybody's watching you fall and everybody's afraid to say it to you get help now again i don't agree with the language i don't agree with the approach but what he's actually saying is right on the money feel bad that nobody's saying that charlie

34:21Well, maybe they are. And Charlie's just decided, well, everybody's wrong and I'm right. But, you know, he's sick and I wish that he would get some help. It's sad to see him fall like that. Leave it to a Z-list celebrity to step up. Dice Man. Yeah. That reminded me of how funny Dice once was years ago. Oh, I used to love him. He was hysterical. Oh! I'm surprised he never did like a... stint on Sopranos. Yeah. I could see him doing something. Yeah, absolutely. Did they ever have people do cameos? They had David Lee Roth. They did? Yeah, he was at a poker game once. Playing himself? Playing himself, yeah. And he has one line and it was, I used to write off condoms. That was his line. That was it? That was it. That's all he had. That was it. There you go. And they had Lawrence Taylor and Eric Mangini was on there. Have you ever watched Sopranos all day? So this is certainly not this is not meant to bring the room down. But I we talk about our lives and we talk about what's going on in our lives. And we talk about, you know, this is a reality show on the radio yesterday. I had to take my dad to the doctor and find out what the results were of his tests. He'd had a bone scan. He'd had all these different kind of tests done. And yesterday he and I.

35:49went together to find out what the results were. And as it turns out, my dad's prostate cancer is back. And so it is about two centimeters in size. It's in his lymph node. They also think that they found a little bit of it in the bottom of his lung and maybe in his pelvis as well. But they're going to treat it with some therapy that they have outlined for him. They said that there's a lot of success doing it the way that they're going to do it. And so hopefully he will be okay. And it's great because I honestly, if this had happened a few years back, I would have really been a mess. But because of my faith and because of everything that I've done with my faith, I, you know. I recognize that I got to be strong for my dad. I got to be strong for my mom. And I had to make the calls yesterday. You know, I came home. My mom has Alzheimer's. So she he didn't want her there. He didn't think it was a good idea for her to be there, which is a good call. So when we got home, I had to be the one to tell my mom. And then I had to make some some difficult phone calls to my brothers, let them know what's going on.

37:15And, you know, it was tough. But it's life. It's life, you know. You can't avoid it. And for all of us, it has to happen. And so that was the deal yesterday. But, you know, I wanted to let people know. And I do think of M1s as a family. And our listeners are like a family to us. And so I want people to know what's going on in our lives. And that's, you know, probably the biggest thing happening in my life right now. And so I want people to know about it. And that's what happened. I'd tell you more. I got to make sure who's listening and who's not listening and that kind of thing. Because I honestly feel like I can share stuff with M1s that I can't share with some other people. That's the kind of intimacy. You know what I mean? that we have with our M1 listeners. Tell your dad that we're all thinking about him. We all love him. I wrote about him in my blog last night. He's just a good man. He's a good, good man. And you can tell the relationship you guys have together. It's really cool. I love him so much. And you learn from him. Sons and their dads is a really special thing. Just like anything, but it really is special. I'm sorry, man.

38:34It's going to be all right. And that's the message that I was actually really enthusiastic to share. See, I can't fake that. I can't fake the fact. Look, I'm sad about it. There's no doubt about it. But it's okay. Five years ago, if I had even attempted to say that on the radio, I'd have broke down. So the fact that I can say that it's okay, I hope shows you. the light inside of me and the power, the courage, all the stuff that God gives me. And so anyway, although it's sad, it's, you know, it's a process, man. It's a process of life. So anyway, I wanted to tell you guys about that. There's other things happening in our life. Yesterday, okay, so Jay is supposed to fly back, take care of his mom in Houston yesterday. Couldn't go. Insane.

39:36Because of the fog. Yeah, they canceled a lot of flights yesterday. It was San Antonio. I was supposed to fly through Phoenix and got to the airport. Of course, it's spring break, so there's a ton of people. I'm not saying the airport wasn't enjoyable with all the spring breakers, because it was insane. Five hours standing. Why standing? Because there's no seats. And there were people sprawled. It was like Woodstock. And it was loud. Everybody was on their computers. Everybody was talking on the phone. Doing beer bongs. The bars were packed. And there were guys in kilts. Everybody's in green. Everybody's pounding beers. It's like Mardi Gras. It was loud. You couldn't even hear yourself think. And so I'm waiting in line. I knew immediately that I was in trouble. So I got in line. I waited. I was in line for easily three hours. Oh, my gosh. And then right where I'm about to go, a guy comes to the counter just irate, just screaming at the lady, you know, blah, blah, blah. You know, I need a flight. So I'm waiting because now this guy has stepped in front of me. We're all grown up little kids. Jay should have tripped him. And I was like, hey. And the lady's like, wait your turn. I was like, I'll do it.

40:44It was my turn. Did he cut the line? He walked right up, but he was irate. And so she had to deal with him to calm him down so that they didn't have to call the police, I guess. And so as soon as she's done with him, I step up, and she's like, oh, wow, you just missed one of the open seats on a plane that's leaving right now. Oh, my God. Because of that guy. Yeah, because of the tantrum guy. Tantrum guy. screwed me out of being able to go home and help move my mom to another care facility. I wonder what tantrum guy was like when he was seven. Tantrum guy? Tantrum guy? I will belt whip tantrum guy. I wanted to yell and scream. I wanted to yell at her, but it's not her fault. She's like, well, what do you want to do? I can fly you into Dallas. I can get you there. It's going to be about 12 hours of flying to get you to Dallas tonight at 1130. But then there's no flights out until Saturday to San Antonio. You could have stayed with my folks. Seriously, you could have. Yeah, but I mean, I wanted to be, you know. You wanted to be with your mom? Yeah. Gosh darn, dude. What a beating. My entire family was there moving my mom. So I talked to them last night, and they were.

41:45drunk. All my sisters. Everybody's together. Hey, Jay. We love you so much. Is that Jay on the phone? Hey, this is your sister. That's a lot like what it was. Let's isolate that clip. They were drunk. I thought he was going to be like, they were so sad. They miss me. Just drunk, partying. Selfishly, Jay, I'm really glad you're here. Me too. Selfishly. Me too. I feel the same way. Sorry. Because I was like, oh, man, Jay's not coming in. Kind of sucks. Second half of yesterday, we were like, what's this? What are you doing? Exactly. Woods had an appearance last night at Fun Bike Center, and an M1 came out and brought Woods a Dr. Pepper and a King Size Twix. Oh, my God. Woods put in his recap. I love it. You ever get so fat that people just bring you Twix to your appearance? King size. It was awesome. King size. Twix. I get out of my car. I get out of my car and I'm walking out here. What's he? And I go, I turn around. I was like, yeah. And he has this bag in his hand. I'm like, this is poop. He's going to throw poop at me. Immediately. First thought ahead. I was like, wow. Oh God. Oh God. It's a bag of acid. This is a 94 Niner that hates me. And then I probably lipped off to. He's going to throw poop on me. This is for you.

43:08I knew where I could find you. Yes, here you are. And inside this bag was a king-sized Twix with four bars in it and a fresh DP. I was like, I love you. You're the greatest. Oh, my God. So you shared it with people at the event, right? Zero percent. Zero percent. I feasted on it, and it was great. It was James, M1 James. It was awesome. How was your appearance? It was great. Absolutely great. It tastes good. So many M1s came out and gave away some really cool stuff. I was going to go, but then I just decided not to. Sorry. I was halfway to Fun Bike Center, and then I was like, uh-oh. It's a good time. Did you see what I wrote in there about what I want to buy? No. I want a quad desert machine. Yeah, you do. Yeah, I want one. Like the Polaris? Like one of the big ones? Yes, with the... Roll cage? Yes, I want one. Those are ridiculously good. I decided I want to be Desert Guy. Let's go. I've already Desert Guy. I want to be Desert Guy. You better hurry. You could be Desert Guy. Yeah, I could. You need a trailer, though, to haul that. You have one, right? Mikey, you could be Desert Guy, too. I use it for my bikes. You can't borrow my trailer. You want to be Desert Guy, Mike? I know. Listen. You like lying in your beds. I do stuff. You don't do stuff. Do you? Could LLB have picked a thing?

44:27More opposite. It's like she said, you could be a triathlete. No, Mike. You would enjoy it, Mike. It's everything you are. You have tattoos. No internet. Dirty. No use of all the things that you like, like an iPad. You like to wear white t-shirts. Flat bill hats. Mike, flat bill it up, dude. We'll go out there and get a couple of these desert machines. Can you imagine me? It'd be awesome. It'd be fun. You are either a desert person or you're not. I think I am at heart. At heart, I am, because I know when I go to New Mexico. I'm not at heart, at long, at stomach, at anything. Wes is a cowboy, so he would be on those things like, yeah! You would need a camper, though. You would need a camper and a trailer. I don't want a camper, but I do want one of those things. I want to ride the dunes and stuff. No one's going to want to go out there, because you have to stay overnight. What, L.O.B.? You can do it! What? Poop outdoors? Are you kidding me? No, you don't have to do that. Poop into like a plastic thing? No. Just take a day trip out to the desert and get on a buggy and have some fun. It'd be fun. Your RV would have a toilet money. You don't need to have an RV. Just go for the day. Sure you do. Take the eight out. Is there internet out there? Yeah, you could get your... You have the iPad with 4G. I don't? You know me. I'm internet guy. Like, we won't go to a... My wife wanted to stay in one of those hotels on stilts. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about?

45:42Bora Bora? Yeah. She found them that have internet. They had to. They had to. But wait. Question. What? You went on that man's fishing trip overnight, slept in a tiny little pod, and you didn't have anything. You loved it. You had a blast. It had TV. Okay. It had direct TV. I got an idea. That's satellite television. I got an idea, though. What? We take our computers. We can watch a movie at night. Yeah, there you go. What do you do during the day? We ride friggin' dude buggies. Not all day. All day. We cook. I wouldn't. You pack a lunch. Pack a lunch. It's even more fun at night. Lunch. It's even more fun at night with the headlights on. You get the big light bar up top and you're just cruising through the desert in the middle of the night. I'm in. I'm all the way in. It sounds fun. It's $11,000 for one of these things. I'm like, great. I'm going to have to run that by the missus. Mike, I think it might be your calling. Oh, really? I really do. You think it might be my... Can you picture my pudgy little short body on one of those things? Yes. It's just like a golf cart. It's a big power ball. What's a golf cart? Come in there. I'm sorry. I didn't know what a golf cart was. I didn't pronounce the L. He wanted to say golf. Golf cart. I think that's what I'm saying. I'm all the way in. If I get one, will you roll out there with me? No. I'll go. Thank you. There's a 0% chance. I guarantee if I get all four of our show to go, you'll come with us. Come on, Mike. Live a little. It's a blast. Big campfire.

47:12Psychedelic mushrooms real good. Oh, that's the best part. Pop a few cold ones. Beer, just on the desert. Let's do it! Sounds like me. We'll play this song and we'll just... My deal is I love tropical vacations with movies that you can get on the television. Apple, you know, direct internet, wireless. You have that at home. Why go to a tropical place if you're not going to be outside? I like it to be a different place. And I like room service. Go to a hotel here. I like that it's warmer. Turn on the heat. You go because they have Tommy Bahama, Mike. Yeah, that's the only reason you go there. They have a super-sized Tommy Bahama. Technically, the desert is warm. True. Can nuclear radiation from Japan reach American shores? I'm talking about Hawaii, too. Now, I have audio of President Obama in a press conference yesterday talking about the potential. And we'll tell you. And we'll play it for you next. Make some noise. Welcome back. We have audio from President Obama's news conference coming up here in just a second. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, yesterday the United Nations Security Council authorized, quote,

48:58All necessary measures, including strikes by sea and air, to stop the actions by Muammar Gaddafi and Libya, the leader. And as of this morning, the Libyan army has backed down, which is good news because the UN basically said, you know, you guys are killing innocent kids and people. We're going to take you down. And Muammar Gaddafi has backed down as of this morning. So that story is going to be developing, which is good. Also, this is pretty crazy. Have you ever heard of a guy named Jim Berkland? I haven't. Well, he has a track record for predicting earthquakes. Really? And he actually predicted the one in 89 in San Francisco for the World Series. Really? And he's predicted one for this weekend. Now, wait a minute. Wow. Now, my question is... Is that the only one that he's predicted? That's the biggest one he's predicted. But apparently because we talked about earlier that the moon is a lot closer to Earth this weekend, you're going to have a full moon. It's supposed to be the brightest and biggest it's been in nearly 20 years. And depending on how the moon is, they're calling it a super moon. He's predicted another one hitting California this weekend. What's his qualifications? Is he just a dude?

50:02I don't... He's like Jim from Cleveland. He's like, yeah, I think this weekend. He's a seismologist. He knows what he's doing. Happy birthday, pal. He studies this stuff. Is he a seismologist? I don't even know if that's a real word. He predicted the one in... I mean, you were there in the World Series. Yeah, well, I wasn't at the World Series, but I was there for that earthquake. There's actually... Right, but there's actually a picture on this article that I have from Gilroy, and it's a picture of the... I know what it is. What? It's the clock. No, it says, is World Series quake coming? And it was beforehand, and it was in the Gilroy paper. Is he from Gilroy? I don't think so. I wonder if I'm Gilroy. I know, but you, I mean. Probably because they knew that you were from there. Right. It's a bastion of news. But I just was, you know, thought I would let you guys know. Who knows? But maybe grab some water. Oh, wow. Oh, my goodness. Canned goods and gasoline. Oh, boy. I had $4.10 a gallon that I paid yesterday. Maybe be prepared. Oh, boy. What's going on in sports? Well, obviously the biggest story here today is the San Diego State Aztecs last night. Won their first ever NCAA tournament game. They won 68-50 over Northern Colorado. Very, very excited for those guys. And they will be taking on 7th Seated Temple on Saturday at around 3.10 p.m. Also, Jim Trestle, the head coach of Ohio State, has added...

51:25Three games, self-added, three games to his suspension. What? Now, what happened was his players were accused of and found guilty of taking improper benefits. They all got five-game suspensions next year. Jim Trestle knew about that, didn't say anything. He got a two-game suspension. He has now come out before the NCAA has really investigated his part of it and said, I want the same suspension as my players. Brilliant PR move. Brilliant. So now the NCAA is probably going to say, hey, five games is probably good enough. So he's going to sit out with his players for five games. You're grounded. Two weeks. Dad, I want five. I want five weeks. You got it. No problem. Just don't go back and look at any more evidence because you might ground me for ten. Oh, wow. All right. So here is Obama yesterday talking about the threat of nuclear radiation reaching... the shores of the United States. I know that many Americans are also worried about the potential risks to the United States. So I want to be very clear. We do not expect harmful levels of radiation to reach the United States, whether it's the West Coast, Hawaii, Alaska, or U.S. territories in the Pacific. Let me repeat that. We do not expect harmful levels of radiation to reach the West Coast, Hawaii, Alaska.

52:46or U.S. territories in the Pacific. Now, take note of the fact that I did say harmful levels of radiation. In other words, radiation could get here. In fact, it could be pretty bad, but it won't be harmful. So, feast. That is the judgment of our Nuclear Regulatory Commission and many other experts. Well, what is it, in the water or something? No, I mean, when you have huge explosions and stuff like that's going on in Japan, it... It can slowly reach here. Like by the winds? Uh-huh. And it's supposed to be reaching California today. Just radiation. Through the winds? Yeah. And the water? Yeah. Probably. Winter, water, or both? It's all of the above. Animals that travel here? Animals that travel here. Fish? I don't know. Hi, I'm a radiation dolphin. Yeah. Hey, look, it's a radiation dolphin. It's glowing. Well, we do know that Nissan is scanning vehicles for radioactive material. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I didn't even think of that. I know. Cars. They make cars in Japan. They do. Lots of cars. Now, Toyota announced earlier this week that they were stopping production on vehicles coming out of Japan for a while. But Nissan is now making sure there is no radioactive material in their vehicles, which are going to be making way over here. Those poor people that live there, man. Oh, yeah. I mean.

54:06I mean, it's just so crazy in Japan right now. Woodsy actually was talking to me about this this morning. The workers that are at the Fukushima plant right now trying to work on the nuclear station, they're 180 plant workers. They're dubbed the Fukushima 50 because they're working in teams of 50. Now, they're basically on a suicide mission. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, and they know it. And, I mean, it's so sad because these are. dads, women are there too, and they know that their chances of dying from the radiation levels are very, very great. So they got them probably in the whole get-ups and everything. These people are brave, brave people. A radiology expert was saying... They're doing that for their country. It's unbelievable. A radiology expert said, I don't know any other way to say it, but this is like suicide fighters in a war. There's quotes from... Kids pleading with their dad, don't go. Please come back alive. I mean, just awful. Can you imagine? Awful. And they're there right now. Plant workers are dealing with not only cooling the reactors, but getting cooling and radiation shielding water into the pools. Because if they get water in at least one pool, I mean, they think the water is low. I mean, this is a whole technical thing that is just awful. Here's a guy from the United States talking about the information that we're getting about it.

55:26We believe that there is no water in the spent fuel pool known as number four. And I would say that it is my great hope that the information that we have is not accurate. I would hope for the sake of everyone that the situation is not at the state that we think it is. No water in there. Oh, my God. Oh, it's awful. So, yeah, I mean, I talked about yesterday they were bringing in, you know, seawater from helicopters trying to dump it over the overheating rods. I mean, they're trying to do everything they can, but you can't stop radiation from spreading. And I just saw on the news that breaking news is they're thinking about burying it under the soil. And it's just it to me echoes kind of what happened with BP. It's like, why is why does why do we why are we reactive? Why are there not plans in place? When this stuff, before this stuff happens, you know, why don't we have, I mean, it's Japan, so I can't say we, but why aren't there things that are already in place before it happens? Why is it this scrambling to, you know, fix it after it happens? And we've heard that here, you know, because we have plants here, we're like, we don't know what we would do. Exactly. Exactly. And, you know, the Japanese are really good about making sure that, I mean, they built their buildings like we heard.

56:41on ball bearings to absorb earthquakes and things like that. I mean, they're a very smart bunch of people over there, so I can't imagine that they didn't have anything in place, but I don't know that they would assume that something this... catastrophic what happened. I guess. Yeah. Yesterday, Japan's Nuclear and Industrial Safety Agency, actually earlier this morning, they raised the level for the crisis at the nuclear plant from a four to a five. And I guess a level five, it says, a level five equates to the likelihood of a release of radioactive material, several deaths from radiation, and severe damage to a reactor core. They're putting it on pour with the incident in Pennsylvania in 79, the Three Mile Island. The Three Mile Island. Wow. Craziness. Yeah. Crazy, crazy, crazy. I don't know if you guys know or if M1s would know, when there's radioactive, you know, when you die of, I guess, what is it? Poisoning. Is it immediate effects or can it show up, you know, a couple years or is it, you know, a slow thing that happens? Yeah, I want to know. To measure how, you know, if it's affecting or if it's, you know, adversely affecting people's health right now. Yeah. Last night on Idol.

57:53The Black Eyed Peas performed this. Tonight we bring you the world premiere performance of Just Can't Get Enough from the Black Eyed Peas. This song is about love and strength and is dedicated to our friends in Japan. I just can't get enough. I just can't get enough. I just can't get enough. I just can't get enough. Honey got a sexy on steaming. She give her heart and it's a new meaning. Perfection, mommy, you gleaming. Inception, you gotta look at dreaming, dreaming. Damn, baby, I'm fiending. Sienna. I like the black eyes. Yeah, I do too. I like that song. I do too. Although, I like it better when it's produced and all slick. You know? Not when it just came out of the swimming pool and it's shaking its hair.

59:20Smells like a wet dog. Don't understand why it was dedicated to Japan. Because the name of the song is Just Can't Get Enough. I think they've had plenty. Maybe rethink that dedication. People ever come out of the woodwork when something bad happens? No. Sandra Bullock just donated a million dollars. That's pretty awesome. Remember the video we talked about yesterday morning with the dogs, the two dogs that were seen, and one of the dogs was staying by the other dog's side because it was injured? Hungry. Because of that video. Stop it, Jay. Because of that video that was all over the news yesterday. So many more people stepped up and were donating money because of the dog video. Really? Yes. And to what? For Japan. To Red Cross. Because of the dog. Because of the dogs. It could save dogs over people any day. Oh, gosh, Jay. Come on, dude. The dogs are sweet. Dogs are important. Do you realize if you...

1:00:17fell in your backyard and broke your hip, which is inevitable, by the way, your dog, Bear, would make sure that you are okay. No, he'd come over and go, hey, you can't run anymore. He would cuddle with you. Keep you warm. He'd press that little button on that thing you wear around your neck. Eventually. The Medicare thing or whatever it is. Eventually, he would get hungry and he would feast on you. He would not. He would feast on you. That's his owner. He already tries to. He's playing. Is he? After that video of the dogs, I went home and just... Held my dog. Oh, yeah. I love you. I know you would stay by my side. Of course. Yeah. It's very sweet. It was very sweet. Is it bad that when I see, like I was reading the other day that the Yankees donated like 50,000 bucks to Japan. I was like, 50,000. I'm like, come on, dude. Step up your game. How much? Like 50 grand or something. The Yankees. Oh, yeah. And I was like, hello. Gajillionaire. Give some more dough, please. That's a lot of money. I know. Well, I mean, it's an organization with a lot of money. Well, yeah. I was kind of mad. I was kind of embarrassed. But then you go, well, how much of the Padres given? Right. 75 cents. Yeah, I haven't heard of it. In comparison to the payrolls. You ever just give money and then you get slammed for it? Yeah. I mean, I was like, when I looked in the mirror, I was like, what did you do? Yeah. Gave $10. You did? Yes.

1:01:35$10. Did you do it through text or something? Yeah, I did through text. The American Red Cross. I mean, it's $10. Yeah, it's nice. Let's see. All right, so tell me what you think of this. Hey, Mikey, interested to hear what you guys think. Just started a new job last week, and on Friday, my supervisor was talking to me at my desk and noticed a picture of my girlfriend I had up. He immediately picked it up and said, oh, Karen. And by the way, it's Karen with an I. Interesting observation. Well, the reason I make the observation is it's so specific. I mean, he knows her. Oh, Karen. I used to date her. Oh, no. He then just continued talking about work as if nothing even happened. I'm so creeped out. Stop, because it's creeping me out. He says, dude, I don't want to think about my girl. Well, I've been dating for a year. Hooking up with my supervisor. Oh. I think I have to choose my girl or my job. Do you? What do you guys think? M1 Rick. Well, listen. Obviously, there are a couple schools of thought. One school of thought is if you are the manager, one school of thought would say maybe you don't say anything. But then the other school of thought says, well, if you don't, eventually it's going to come out. Your girlfriend's going to, I'm sure, come to your work one day. Sure. Office happy hour.

1:03:05mad that your supervisor never said anything when he knew? Maybe he didn't remember. She's changed a lot. I think it's always smartest to stay quiet. Here's my thinking on that. I think it's always smart to keep your mouth shut. If you're the manager and you don't say anything, then a little time goes by. And then the girlfriend comes to a company party. She hasn't heard anything about this. Nothing has been mentioned. So you would think that logic would tell her, well, he hasn't said anything. Maybe I keep my mouth shut too and everybody's happy. Yeah. But it's going to come out anyway. Is it? Well, they can stop dating or something. Just to fly off the handle with a, oh, just whatever pops into your head. Oh, I dated her. Yeah. Got some. Maybe think about it. Maybe like see if it goes anywhere with them or cross that bridge when you get to it. But don't just pop it out. The girlfriend's going to know that. Her ex works with him eventually, and then it's going to come up. But maybe the guy with the girlfriend just, I mean, every girl, every person, all of us have ever dated. What are we there first? You know what I mean? I mean, come on. Everybody has a past. Big deal. They dated. And I don't think he's going to quit his job. Yeah, he doesn't need to quit it. It's not, I got to make a choice, my girl or my job. The name you always use, Woods, of the guy that you don't like is Craig. Craig.

1:04:27Craig. From your wife's past. Yes. Craig. Now, it's one thing. It's Craig. Now, it's one thing to not really care to hear the name Craig. Craig. It's another thing if Craig is your supervisor. Right. Yeah. If Craig was my boss. But I knew of Craig. Okay? Like, I knew him. Now, if I went in and he's like, hey. You actually knew him? No, no. I knew of him. Of him. So if I walked into a new job and he goes, hey, how you doing? I'm Craig. And I'm like, oh, wow. He wouldn't. He'd say, hi, I'm Craig. But, you know, he'd go, no, you aren't. You're Craig. You're Craig. That's the way I say your name. But he didn't know that going in, you know, so it's like, hey, great, you dated my girl. I'd make a bit out of it. That is so uncomfortable, though. I'd make a bit out of it. Make a bit out of it. I'd be like, yeah, how was she? No. No. Bye-bye. I would totally make, you guys know me, I'd make bits out of everything. Yeah, but that is different. How was she? How was she? He'll be like, I don't know, you tell me. Yeah, I got her now, pal. Don't worry about it. Yeah. I mean, everybody's got a past, you know?

1:05:32Everyone has a past, but it's still, you don't want to be with that person every day working without. I mean, hey, but what do you do? Quit your job? No. You know, in these times, you can quit your job? It's like an office space when his boss just pictures his current girlfriend with his jerk of a boss, and he can't get past it. He can't get past it. 5701949, if you've ever been in that position, or if you've ever, you know, or just what you think. Oh, that's awful. Nobody wants to think of that. 570-194. Oh, it's Karen. With an I. Oh, Karen. Oh, it's Karen. I know Karen with an I. Oh, I know Karen. I dated Karen. You know Karen, too? Karen? Oh, you know Karen, too. Karen. I dated Karen. By the way, if Karen is listening, I'm sorry. It's interesting. I'm one wreck. Okay, so call us about that. 570-194-9. And we're also going to play some movie plot Hot Potato. The girls are playing today. Oh, my God. I know it. One more time with that. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Oh, for goodness sake. Let's make some noise in the studio. We've got a live studio audience in here. M1s are Mikey Show listeners. If you're an M1, when you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss.

1:07:33And you're always making new M1s. March Music Madness going on right now at FM949SD.com. So you can go there and check out all the bands that are battling it out. It's just like the real tournament, only we do it with bands. It's pretty awesome. Let's do a little movie plot hot potato. What do you say? Sounds good to me. Today it's the girls. Loser takes a BB. Oh, yeah, baby. I'll take the day off today. 570-1949. Call us right now. You're going to either pick L.O.B. or Sienna. Here's the way that movie plot Hot Potato works. They're going to give me the plot of a movie. I've got to guess it. And I've done pretty good the last few times. So hopefully they've got enough movies written down. You've been on a streak. I've been on a streak. Today's prize is tickets to the Lincoln Lawyer movie with Matthew McConaughey. There you go. I was trying to. All right.

1:08:35So, ladies. Yes. Are you ready to do this? Are you ready to do this? I am ready to do this. I'm ready to do this. M1 Oscar from Chula Vista. Who do you want? Me. L-O-B. Hang on the line. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. M1 Marcella from Kearney Mesa. Would you like Sienna? Yes, please. You got her. Does she have any other choices? You know what? Oh, it's 50-50 shots. Hang on with these two smoking hotties. There you go. Okay. All right. Loser takes a BB and... Are you guys ready? Are you ready, Sienna? Yeah. Are you ready, L.O.B.? Uh-huh. Here we go. Okay, Matthew Broderick, he takes a day. Oh, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. A Disney movie about a deer. Bambi. A Bunch of Kids Have Detention, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald. Breakfast Club. Rocky. It's Oliver Stone movie with Charlie Sheen in Vietnam. Platoon. Life is Like a Box of Chocolates. Tom Hanks. He Runs. Forrest Gump. Oh, gosh. It's a movie that you refuse to see. Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels. Oh, Dumb and Dumber. Uma Thurman. We play the song. Kill Bill. Oh, wow. Stacy, this is really good. I sing. Fast Times at Ridgemont Hut. Your favorite shark movie. Jaws. Daniel's son. He paints a fence. Wax on, wax off. Karate Kid. Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Wizard of Oz. Oh, God. Tom Cruise. He's a pilot. Top Gun. Yes. Oh, wow. Wooden Puppet. Whose nose gets longer. Pinocchio. Oh, wow. Who are you going to call?

1:10:02Ghostbusters. Oh, wow. Julie Andrews. Sound of Music. It's a news team in San Diego. Will Ferrell. Oh! Mikey. L.O.B.'s gotta take the BB. They were rolling. Oh, my. You all did good. They were good at the things and everything. She has a thong on. Did you hear that? What? She goes, I have a thong on. Sienna, do you know how to shoot that thing? Yeah. Oh, wow. All right. Everybody's watching. Okay. Oh, gosh. You can shoot her right in the back. I can't. Oh, my God. She missed. You missed. Sienna, are you sure you know how to do that? Here. Sienna. Look, Sienna. Sienna. That's okay. She missed. I've shot it before, and I got the target better than you, Mike. All right. Watch out. Come on. Get in there. Oh, wow. LV's got to stand in there again. Look at that target. Got her.

1:11:13That got her. Wow. I'm sorry. It creeped me out to see because she was holding the gun so far away. I can only close one eye and it's the eye, my right eye, and that's the one you're supposed to look through the gun with. How did you miss? Do you know, Jay? So I'm an expert marksman. Sue me, okay? He means I have a big butt. What? That's what he means. And I didn't want to hurt my friend. Thank you, Sierra. What? I have a perfect body. Sue me. I didn't say it wasn't perfect. I just said it was big. Yes. She called her butt big? Yeah. I have the body of a 21-year-old Marine. So sue me. Jay, you can't do that. Jay Isbell. It's okay. Jay goes over the line. Yes. What? 570. $194.9. Congratulations, M1 Marcella from Kearney Mesa. Thanks, Tina. There you go. That's nerve-wracking. Yeah. That's why you've got to do it twice. The shooting part was actually less nerve-wracking than the game. Mikey! By the way, this weekend, behind the Hooters. Easy.

1:12:35I'll be speaking behind the Hooters. Now, I'm speaking at this thing called the Better Men's Organization at the El Camino Country Club, and it is, ironically, behind the Hooters on the 78 in North County. And it's going to be tomorrow morning at 7.30. So I get to get up real early. Now, here's the thing. You can go there, and for $20, you and a friend get bacon, eggs, sausage, and pancakes. What do you bet I'm there with 40 bucks? And it's over by nine. So there you go. You can find out more information at bmoinc.org to register for the event. Okay, so I have a text message that I want to read to you that is pretty interesting. Tell me what you would... Tell me what you would do in this same situation or what you think about this. We got a text that says, hey, Mikey, what's your crew's stance on neck tats? My boyfriend wants to get one. Maybe he gets a job first. Oh, wow. Isn't this a turnoff to employers? It wouldn't be a turnoff to this employer. Yeah. I mean, if you're getting a job at a radio station, it's kind of cool. Yeah.

1:13:46Yeah, I mean, it's not a bad thing. I don't think I'm hiring you. I'm hiring somebody with a neck tattoo. Really? Wow. You're hardcore. What if they're really qualified? Qualified? Qualified. If they're qualified, then I'm all in. If they're coming out to, you know, they're out shaking hands and meeting people or going on sales calls, you know, it's just like. Well, wait a minute. If it's a person working in the promotions department, I think it adds some kind of street cred. I don't know if I'm sending you out to a fun run for breast cancer or something like that, and you're the contact now. You're dealing with Betty Homemaker. What a kicksy, bro. Well, I'm telling you, the station still does stuff like that. I don't think it's that great. The average person, too, doesn't have a job on the radio where you're not seeing their output at work in a cubicle or something. But I think there's jobs that they ain't mad at it. Yeah, I'm sure. I had a little tiny nose. rang like a little stud. You did? Uh-huh. I love it. And I would take it out on sales calls. LOB. When did you have that? 2005, 2006. Why'd you take it out? I took it out in 2008. Why? Because I went to Australia and I was doing like auditions and stuff and they told me to take it out and then I just was like, why do I have this? That's stupid. And it healed up and you can't see, you can't tell at all. You can kind of tell, yeah. There's like a tiny little...

1:15:07I've never noticed it. I think it just limits the jobs that you could go for. It definitely hones it down. President of the United States. I agree with Jay. I mean, if you have a big tattoo across your throat, man, that's pretty hardcore. Yeah, I think it's hardcore, but I think it's badass. Listen, I can't do it. I couldn't do it personally. If I came in with a neck tat, you guys would be like, oh, wow, Woods has lost his mind. He's smoking crack cocaine. I think it implies that that person can handle pain. That's got to be a painful place to get it. So it implies a certain toughness. I see it on Dorian, and immediately I want to iron his clothes and be traded for cigarettes. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? He looks tough with it. He looks tough. When he's a grandpa, just sit on grandpa's lap with his neck tattoo. I'm just saying, don't get me wrong, Dorian. I love you, man. No more poppers for you, pal. Jay and I, too, are the only ones on the show that don't have tattoos. I'm getting mine removed. I have a flaming softball on my back, apparently. For those of you that don't know, by the way. I have a rooster tattoo on my leg. A giant rooster.

1:16:22Which has not caused any jokes. No. At all. Didn't cause it, the first person I ever showed it to did not make a reference to a man's body part. No. Why would they? Why would they? Also a synonym for rooster. Yes. Yeah. Right. And guess who didn't think that one through? Yeah. Yeah. Didn't even cross my mind. And the person that was tattooing it on you didn't bother to say, hey, just so you know, you're probably going to get a couple of comments on this one, huh? Roughly the size of a quarter. Yeah. And they convinced me to get it the size of a softball. Come on, bigger. Come on. You ever just been talked into stuff? Every time. Every time. I was like, okay. So that permanent, right? You know me. I'm covered in tattoos. And I want more. I want to get more. Oh, wow. What was that? Where? Other arm? Yeah, I want to sleeve the other arm. Double it up? Yeah. You like symmetry. Yeah, I do. I would like a half, but I just can't do it. I just can't do it. It wouldn't fit me, I don't think. Sienna's already laughing. She's already laughing. What would you get? I don't know. Plaid, maybe. Plaid? That's a joke. I think it would be hysterical. I know you thought about it, Woods. I think it would be funny as hell to have a half plaid sleeve. I really do. I think it would be funny. That would be funny. That would be, but you wouldn't actually do that. Yeah, I would. Have you thought about doing something? Uh-huh. What? Don't know.

1:17:50You don't want to say on the radio? No, I really like, I see like my boy Winder has one and it looks, when we go surfing stuff, I'm like, that looks cool. But here's the deal. You've thought about it. I want you to tell us. No, I don't have like, it would be something with the ocean. It would be something with like the sun. Are you thinking that we might tease you if you tell us and you don't want to? No, I promise. Dude, what haven't I said? When I see a sleeve, I don't even know what's on your arm. I just think it's a bunch of designs. It's a bunch of designs. I don't think like, oh, look, he has this. I don't look like that. I just see designs. And I'm sure that's what Woods is, too. I want something cool, like colorful and cool, but only a half. I can only do a half, I think. Yeah. But here's the thing. I take my shirt off at the beach, pasty white, fat kid, with breasts and a sleeve. It's not going to look. Good to me. Don't do it. Because I go to the beach a lot in the summer. I'm there every weekend for usually both days, and I feel like kind of a tool. I think you know if you're the person that can pull it off. Like, Winder looks good. He looks good with it. Your sleeve looks badass. I can't do it. If it makes you feel any better, even Jay couldn't do it. Jay couldn't pull a sleeve off. No way. No way. No way. I think anybody could. No. What about a half? Could I pull off a half? No. I could pull one off.

1:19:10Sure you could. There's nobody in this room right now that couldn't pull off tattoos. I mean, tattoos is different than sleeves. Imagine me with a sleeve. Yeah, Sienna couldn't. No, it's only because we know you as Sienna, who is not a sleever. Right. She's got the diamonds all over her. Get Sage's face on your calf muscle. That'd be really good. Your whole back is Sage's face. Sage's face. Those those come out so good. I would never. Well, I'm telling you, the place that Mikey and I went to get our man shaved. Two roses. Two roses. Dude. Hey, I was there, too. That dude, Ben. There was a guy in there, you guys. He pulled his shirt. He pulled his shirt up. He goes, check this out. He had a Yorkie tattooed on his six-pack. I go, what? Yeah. I was like, I'm getting it. I'm going to get it. I want it. I literally thought about getting all of their faces on my arm. Then I was like, I will get it. Murdered. Murdered. Is that it? That wouldn't be my sleep, but I would do that. You would tattoo the five of your Yorkies. You could put it on your stomach and they'd just get bigger as the years go by. Maybe we'd get that done. Before long they'd go from Yorkies to like bulldogs. Oh, Jay. 570-1949. Tell us what you think about the neck tat.

1:20:32I want Dorian to call in since Jay just filleted him for having a neck tat. Yeah, but Dorian... I think it looks awesome. I like his neck tat. So do I. I think it looks cool. I can't because it's too much for me. And it gets in the way of... It would get in the way of what I do. Your Tommy Bahama collar is what you mean. It would get in the way of that. Is that what you meant? Or did you mean the lay around your neck? L-O-B. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. You have a TV shirt on right now, Maggie. Every Friday. I have one shirt that's Tommy Bahama. I have one plus 12. You should just get the other sleeve. Just make it like a Hawaiian shirt sleeve. And then you won't have to wear Tommy Bahama every day. I don't have Tommy Mahoney. Yes, you do. They're linen. You're wearing them right now. You're wearing them as we speak. You look like you're going to a Jimmy Buffett concert as soon as we get out of here. Easy parenthood. Fins to the left, fins to the right. I'm wearing a pair of very tight Rockin' Republic jeans. Why are you looking for a lost shaker of salt? Did you just step on a pop top? 570-1949. You're drinking a virgin daiquiri as we speak, okay? Out of a coconut husk.

1:21:44How dare you? Is that a shark tooth earring? What is that? Don't worry, Tommy. Those are puka shells. I hate passing those stupid signs that say Tommy Bahama sale. It kills you. It kills you. Because you know you're going to get 30. You know why? You know why I hate it? Because I know that every M1 that drives by that sign is like, Mikey. Stop by and see Mikey. You know what I hate, Mike? The grass from your grass skirt is all over the studio. I know. It's like everywhere I step. You spilled poi out of your skull and crossbones lunchbox, okay? Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Is that a new coconut shell bikini you're wearing? Why are you harvesting plumeria in the studio? Can't you just clean up the rice that's sprinkled all over the microwave? Everywhere. Oh, how dare you. M1, Dane from Oceanside. Are you there? Yeah, good morning. How are you guys doing? Good. Go ahead. Yeah, I was going to say. The neck tattoos, they look pretty cool. You look pretty BA if you got one, but like you guys were saying, it really depends what kind of job you got. If you're on radio or something, anything that's safe doing. I don't know. I think you could be a tattoo artist with it. Of course. A lot of teachers, they can't be visible. They've got to be covered up. I think tats give you credibility for some jobs. For some jobs. So you've got to be really secure in your career path.

1:23:13Like a guy named Yellow Wolf. He's got like red tattooed on his neck because people call them redneck because he's from Alabama. Oh, my God. The neck tat. That's hilarious. It freaks me out. Yeah. You look at a guy and you're like, that guy could kick the crap out of you. There's no question. And that's why you get it because it's like it could kick the crap out of you. Because it's super painful. It's got to be painful. Probably dangerous going near your jugular and everything. So you're like, wow, that guy is willing to put it out there. I mean, I'll admit it. When I was a recruiter and I had to interview, you know. five, ten guys a day sometimes. If a guy came in and there were like visible, you know, like some bald eagle carrying a dead rabbit or something on his back, I saw it through his white shirt. Like the biggest hat I've ever seen. I was like, oh, wow. Yeah, he's got to go out to clients that are business owners. And I thought for a second, I was like, yeah, but he's qualified. So we actually hired him. But he was on the maybe list. Tiger Woods doing interviews again, by the way. And I'm not sure what the deal is, but.

1:24:16I got some good stuff of him being asked how he's dealing with not winning. Not winning. Being asked about his kids, being asked about being a single dad. Tough questions, man. It's next. Make some noise for the live studio audience. Woods is doing air hair. Yeah. Get it. Get it. Hey, right here. Focus back here. That looks good. I hear this and I go, was he kidding? I hear this and I go, yeah, I cried about Wendy Gibbons in my bed in seventh grade, laying there because she didn't like me. And I liked her a lot. Really? Yeah. We went out for like three hours, you know, and then she broke up with me. Might have cried in my bed listening to this. It's better to have lost at love than never to have loved at all. That would be a great topic for us at some point. What is the shortest relationship you've ever had? And I mean...

1:25:4020 minutes or something. You know what I mean? Remember those middle school deals? Yeah, they break up with you in 20 minutes. We used to do the, tell them I said yes, and then go tell them I said yes. Okay, now go back and say, I'm just kidding. Oh, wow, monster. You were cruel. You did that? Monster in training. I got it done to me, too. Kids used to do, I didn't, I never asked. Dude, it reminds me of a time me and my best friend Kevin were in his house. We called this girl, Sharon McCall. And we had to sell her. On who? We had to sell her. I had to sell her on Kevin. Yeah, you never asked yourself. Right. You always had to have your friend ask for you. And then all of a sudden, she was yours? No, his. I was selling her. She was his? Yeah, I was selling her on him. She's like, I just don't know. I'm like, hey, listen, he's a great guy. He really likes you. End of the conversation, I go, all right, I'm going to put him on. You guys are officially going out. Oh, my God. Yeah. I sold. She won. He's like, dude, she was one of the hottest girls in school. The salesman was born. The salesman was born. Two hours later, she called back. She's like, yeah, it's over. I bet he's listening right now. They never even got to kiss? Uh-uh. No kiss, no nothing. They didn't even see each other. That's not uncommon. That's like what happened. Yeah, but two hours of, wow, she's mine? Yes. We were making plans about, because he had a pool. We were like.

1:26:58Dude, we'll have pool parties. She'll bring a friend. I'll have one. You'll have her. It's going to be the raddest summer ever. I know. Hang on. Hello? It's over. Oh, hi, baby. Oh, not baby anymore. I was talking to a mom over the weekend at Woods' Little League game. And the mom was telling me about one of the players on his team that has a girlfriend. And they met one time at a party. And it was a girl from a different school. And he agreed to go out with her. And he said to his mom, Mom, if I see her in the grocery store, I won't even remember what she was like. And it's my girlfriend. How old? What's his 12? The 12-11, yeah. And he didn't even know her. He said, Mom, I won't remember what she looks like because I don't remember. Hearing these stories, I was driving one of my kids to batting practice last week, and I go, what are you doing tonight? I go, why do I have to have you back right at 5? He goes, got a party tonight. And I go, oh, that's cool. He goes, with girls. And I go, oh, yeah. And I go, and he's a sharp kid. And I go, really? And he goes, yeah. And I go, that's awesome. And he goes, We don't do anything or anything. And I go, oh, that's good. He goes, I mean, we hug and stuff. And then he looked at me and he goes, next year, though. And I almost wrecked the car, dude. I was laughing so hard. He goes, but next year, though. Question, question, question. Now, does that actually mean?

1:28:19that he's decided that next year's the year? French kiss. Are we ready for Frenching next year? French kiss. So Frenching is not okay. Not in fifth grade. Sixth grade is French year. It's when it begins. Yeah. Seventh grade is second base and then onward. Is that real? Yeah, that's real. No, it's different with every school. What your school, what the standard is for your school. It was real for 90% of my friends. That was our fifth grade was we start to mingle. Yep. And you start to be in on that. You go out, but you hold hands. Right. And if you do that, you're like, she's a slut. She let me hold her hand. Yeah. Question. Big slut. Oh, yeah. Huge slut. Same. Huge. So does that mean that if next year is. Frenching time. Yes. Does that mean that if he tried to French a girl this year, she'd be like, what is your problem? More than likely. More than likely. Yeah, you're a racist. Too early. She's not ready. He's not ready. They know they're going to prepare over the next year for that. But would she be like, you know the drill. You know the rule. You can't do this. The best part was we hug and stuff. They hug. So cute. How cute is that? So cute.

1:29:21Good times. Fifth grade, I remember the games, the spin the bottle stuff. Oh, yeah. We didn't do that until six. Sixth grade. Fourth grade. 60 seconds in heaven. My first French kiss was in sixth grade. Jill Taylor. Mine was fourth grade. In a shed. Crystal long. Mine was Scott Farrell. He told me I was doing it wrong. Well, in fairness to Scott, you were. I was. He's like, don't do it like they do it in the movies. I was going, moving my jaw up and down. Can you imagine? A little L.O.B. Ew. I was terrible. I didn't want to go to the party. I was like, this is it. This is the night. Okay, same thing. I heard from one of Jill Taylor's friends. She wants to French you tonight at her party. I was like, that's it. I got to move. I have to move. I'm not Frenching anybody. I'm scared to death. I went and Frenched her. It was like getting in a fight. It was. It felt like you were going to get in a fight. I went and Frenched her. And she's like, I don't want to French you. I don't want to French you. I Frenched her. I Frenched her. I went and Frenched her. So I did. I went and Frenched her. Her dad was the principal. This is the behind the music on Woods. So I Frenched her. Stop saying French. It's so gross. It's not. It's great. I Frenched her. French kiss.

1:30:38No, I Frenched her. Don't say it. So we were Frenching. And then she's like, you're a really good kisser. I was like, I am. I had no idea. I had no freaking idea what I was saying. She didn't either. She was lying. No, she was a hooah. She was a little hooah. So I Frenched her. Maybe to this song. It's so funny because. When you know that you're going to do something like that, it does feel like a fight. Like you're so nervous that you feel like you're going to get into a fight with someone. Now, here's what's interesting. Everybody that's listening right now and everybody that's in this room, you realize that your name is the answer to a trivia question for someone. That's creepy. That's awesome. And that is a true fact. You know, somebody for Chantel Smith, they go, who was the first person you kissed? And she goes, Mike Esparza. Yeah. So every one of us, your name is someone, you know? I don't think I was anyone's first. Yeah, you had to be. I was real late in the game. I think everyone had friends before I did. Really? Yeah. Maybe that is the deal. I was terrified. Yeah, I guess for some of us, maybe we're not the answer to a trivia question. Well, it could have been. Now, if they asked Scott Farrell, who's the worst person you've ever kissed? Lauren O'Brien would definitely top that list. Question. What?

1:31:58Did you ever get caught by your parents Frenching a girl? No. My dad walked... My boy had Shara McCall. I had Shara McCann. Around the house... French sisters? No, not sisters. Same school, though. First name, first name. Shara McCall, Shara McCann. Oh, sorry. So I'm Frenching Shara McCann around the corner of my house. My dad walked back. I thought... It was like I murdered somebody and I was standing over the body. Was he mad? No. But the way I felt... Because when I find Luke doing that, I won't... Which would be tomorrow, maybe this weekend. I might as well have been standing over a dead body with a gun in my hand. The way I felt. Oh my gosh, it was nerve-wracking. Would it have been worse if it was your mom? No, my mom would have been cooler about it than my dad. Because he wasn't into girls and stuff. He played sports. So he thought that was... Like a little bit, you don't do that. He was never like, hey, you need a girlfriend. That wasn't his bit. He was like, keep your head in the game. Keep your head in the game, maybe crack the books a little bit, maybe grab a bat, you know. Sienna, you ever been caught by your mom or dad making out? No. How about you, Lauren O'Brien? No. Jay, back in the Civil War, did you ever... Of course. We snuck out the upstairs window. We had to put our clothes back on really quick. Of course. I was just talking about Frenching, but that's... We went out to the bomb shelter. That's what we did. That's right. Well, I remember there was a Nazi siren.

1:33:25That was my first kiss. We were in the attic. Yeah, me and Anne, that was my first kiss. Anne Frank. A French-ter. A French-ter. Chris, have you ever been caught by your parents kissing? No, he hasn't. Really? You never either. No. I never did the bad stuff at my house. I always went to other people's houses. Me too, me too. I kissed, I'm trying to think, never did the car deal. Never did a car make-out. Oh, man. Oh, wow. That's a big player. Huge player. Not a car make-out. Got caught by the police in the car. Of course. Well, you're... I was with three models. It was a Gran Torino. Sky Blue Gran Torino. I forgot to mention, it was Paulina Parskova, Kathy Ireland. Christy Turlington. She was there. Actually, we turned Kate Moss away. That was one of my style. Too skinny for me. I like a little meat on the bones.

1:34:27It's not true. What is... It's a song that they play when they're making out in the movie Animal House. It's... I don't even think any of us will know because it's like instrumental. Do you know what I'm talking about? Which make-out session? With the devil and the angel? That one? Yeah. It's brilliant, whatever it is. I know exactly what you're talking about. I want it so bad. That's what he said. Oh, wow. He said. Because a girl's never like. That's what he said. Yeah. That's what he said. I can get behind that. Yeah, that. 5701949 is our number. You know, the kid that we were talking about the other day, you've probably seen the video by now, the chubby kid in Australia that got bullied, that picked up his tormentor and body slammed him. Yeah. The mother of the kid, the bully, the mother of the bully.

1:35:28That got body slammed is demanding an apology. Wow. Yes. Now, the bully is in seventh grade. His name is Richard Gale. And he was tormenting Casey Haynes, who was actually a 10th grader. And the seventh grade mother is saying, you know, this is ridiculous. I want an apology for my son. I didn't know. You know, I didn't know. I was shocked to find out that he was bullying. And the way that everyone's siding with the other kid, you know, I want an apology. And they're saying bad stuff about her son being a bully. Listen, and I'm really being honest about this. Had that been my son and I didn't know that he was bullying, my statement to the world would be he got the consequences of his actions. Absolutely. It's heartbreaking to see, I mean, as a mother, to see your kid get, because he got jacked up. Sure. So, yes, that is like, okay, let's not be like, yes, I'm glad he's so hurt. Sure. But he got. She said that she doesn't think he deserved to be slammed to the ground. And, you know, neither boy suffered serious injuries. And just so you know, both of the boys were suspended for four days. Each of them. Good. Equal. There were times with my brother where I would get into a fight with my brother and my mom would hear out both sides. And even if I if I was the one that got jacked up, if I was the one that was asking for it.

1:36:52She sided with him. Sure. Even if I was the one that got messed up. Absolutely. She's like, well, what happened? Why'd you provoke him? I threw the remote control at him. And he beat you up? Mm-hmm. Yep. No, you're grounded. I just got beat up. Your brother is going to have a Sunday. You're grounded. Yeah, your brother is going to Chuck E. Cheese. Never walked into Chuck E. Cheese in my life, by the way. Still? Me neither. Good pizza. Oh, delicious pizza. Fun games. Fun games. That was like a big birthday player. Huge birthday player. Never done it. I'm sorry. I'm out. They have them here? Yes. Oh, yeah. They do? We should go. We should go. We've never been. They won't let us in without kids. That's like a bunch of creeps. 80,000 adults walk in there. Wear your trench coats, everybody. With no kids. Let's go to pizza porn instead. I'm really glad, though, that they've banned those balls that you play in. Yeah. You know? I love those balls. Yeah, because little kids would, like, poop in there. And they wouldn't know. And they'd be in the balls, so they had to get rid of the balls. Or pee in there. Wait, wait, wait. Spit up.

1:37:56Yeah, it's dirty. I'm so sorry if you didn't know that. Apparently no one did. I used to dive to the bottom. So you're saying. Hide in them and get stepped on. Wait, Sienna. Yes. How old is the average Chuck E. Cheese kid? About two to seven. So are they just like. Mikey's squatting as if he's... What do they do? I bet they don't want to get out because they're having so much fun. So they're like, ah! That's how little kids are. Little kids' paradise in there. Trust me, they love it. I used to always try to smuggle the balls home. My mom would be like, what are you doing with them? You're going to smuggle four of them home to play in? I thought I could recreate it. Four at a time. Four at a time. 2,000 more of these, and I'm good to go. We went to the Ikea, and every time my parents think of furniture shopping or something, I'd be like, ooh, I'm going to take my mom and be like, what are you doing with those? I'm going to play with those. You take them from Ikea? Yeah, they had a little kid section. Oh, wow. Every little kid loves the balls. And you would. You would jump in and dive to the bottom of them and swim through all the balls. Yes, the swimming. I didn't tell you guys about this, but it was a few weeks ago. It was raining. We took the kids to.

1:39:15What's that? Legoland? No, no, no. J.W. Tumbles. Somebody in here will know. It's a little kid place. Jamboree? Jamboree. No. Home Depot. Please stop. Burger King. McDonald's? It's called like Kid Zone. Kid Zone. I think. Or something like that. Okay. And what it is, is it's this giant building where the noise is deafening. And there's this big, giant, scaling maze that kids go through, you know? And they slide. Discovery Zone? It's like that. Yeah, those places are the best. Where is it? Dude, it's in the strangest place. It's in like an industrial warehouse. Wow. Dude, let me tell you. I've never heard about it. It is packed. And when I say packed, I mean like when we drove in, it was like you were going to a freaking rave. They had they had a woman out there directing traffic and she was like, sorry, you're going to have to park in the back and park in the side. So we park. We go in and Jake loses his mind. Now, to me, it's a flu factory. I mean, I just go, oh, great. It's a flu. Yeah.

1:40:40So, babe, you're prepared for the flu, right? Because you realize this is the flu. Why don't they call it the flu zone? Yeah. And Jake did get sick not long after that. Of course. Like, you just know it. And I'm not even mad. Like, if there's parents that are bringing their kids there and they have the flu, I'm like, whatever. Because there's 80 billion kids. You can't control it. You're not going to get around it. Like, if we go, flu season. So anyway, so we go in there. And Rebecca says, you have to go get Jake. And I said, me? Because I didn't know who she was talking to. I said, you got to go get Jake. And I said, oh, me? I have to go get him? She said, yeah, you got to go get Jake. So 40-year-old tubby Mexican bald guy, me, is crawling through. How is this the first we're hearing? I know. I know. I know. I'm crawling through with my jeans. And my butt, my plumber butt exposed. Oh, wow, oh, wow, oh, wow. Naturally. Just crawling through there, embarrassed. And I find Jake, and he looks at me with those big old eyes, and he says, I want to go to where those balls are, because they have the balls. They have the balls? They have the balls. I thought those were banned everywhere. No, no. So I'm trying to figure out how to get to it. It's a maze.

1:42:09plotting the obstacle course, and I'm trying to figure out how do I get to this? They have some cheese there at the end for you? Well, a burrito. Yeah. A queso. I follow the smell of the burrito. Yeah, right. Finely tuned nose. So, I'm going through big, you know, giant netted holes in me. Yeah. And I'm thinking to myself, What if it don't fit? What if it don't fit? What if it don't fit? What if it don't fit? I hope you come up with the name of that place so we can maybe ask them for their surveillance tapes. Yes, for sure. We've got to get the name of it. Somebody knows. To see footage of this. That's not it. Not it. And there's only a couple of places in town. There's one called Pirate's Cove. M1 Doug from El Cajon. What's your place that you're thinking of? It's called Leaps and Bounds. That's not this one. That's not this one. But where is Leaps and Bounds at? Oh, it's in a different state. I don't know if it was a state. Did you go to a different state? He just drove. You were in Tennessee. Arkansas for the day. Wow. Anyway, so we finally get to the balls. And Jake is in there and he's having a great time. And this little kid jumps in there and he starts crying. And I'm looking around. There's no adult anywhere.

1:43:34Was it Ryan? The kid is terrified. Yeah, might as well have been. Ryan never cried. And so I go, all right, I'm going to help the kid. So I immediately fall in the balls. And then you start crying. I immediately slip and fall in the balls. Poop in there. And I'm thinking to myself, how many people right now are going, think? I think that's Mikey flopping around in those balls. And so I help this little kid up, and then Rebecca is outside of it with the watch. We've got to go. We've got to go. Oh, my gosh. So I'm tearing Jake out of these balls, trying to get out of the balls. Why do you have to say it like that? Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. I'm a 40-year-old man. In balls. In these blue, yellow, green, red balls. Apparently with poop in there, too. Which you did not know. That's it. That's the place. M1 Lizzie in Carlsbad. Guys, good morning. Good morning. Yeah, it's called Playworks. Playworks. There you go. Playworks. It's one of Brady's favorite places, but I have to load him up with hand sanitizer, and I put Neosporin in his nose. What's the point?

1:45:00Neil's for it in his nose. He's got asthma. Lizzie, no, but I'm saying the bacterial stuff, what's the point? That stuff's coming off in two seconds and they're touching flu. No, I just meant every time he comes back to me, I'm like, okay, another round. She's got her kids hazmat suits. It's awesome during the week when there's nobody there and moms can sit on the leather couches and drink coffee and kids can run around and get tired. It is a great place. There's no doubt about it. I mean, it's a great place. The kids, when we tell Jake he's got to go, it's as if we just told him, I need to let you know mom and dad have passed away. It's the meltdown of all meltdowns when it's time to go. I mean, they just love the place. And you hear it's a nonstop stream of crying because people have to go. And when they announce you have to go. They flip out. When you walk in, is it like a dull roar? Like the whole time you're there, it's just like... Dude. And they've got, like she said, it's very comfortable for the adults because they've got these leather couches and stuff. So here's all these dads sitting there with their... Their laptops. Their laptops. And I'm like...

1:46:19I'm like, really? Laptop Man is the only guy without a laptop here? Yeah. King laptop. Were you upset with Rebecca for not telling you about the laptop? I was upset at Rebecca for being upset if I had brought a laptop. I was proactively being upset. Yes. I knew she'd be upset if I brought it. Not to mention the snack with all organic food. That's all you can get. Nice. Hey, listen, I ain't putting this place down. They probably make $9 billion because kids lose their cock-a-doodie minds. I'm sure. Thank you, Lizzie. They have a room there. It looks like a madhouse. They have a room there that they let the kids just take crayons to the wall. That's awesome. Imagine you're a kid. And you get to go in there and you're like, really? Anything I want? Anything. I can just go like this? Yeah. The whole room is like, it looks like you're on psychedelic mushrooms. And then they probably get so tuckered out at the end of the day. Oh, yeah. They sleep like a baby. In the car, they're sleeping like a baby. Think Ryan cried there? Oh, wow. No, he had fun. No, he didn't have fun. He cried.

1:47:41The entire time. Lukey, on the other hand, blast. Blasting cigarettes. Had a blast. Shot to Jameson. Yeah. Kind of old Harper. Sienna's got an incredible recap today. And we'll tell you all about it next. Let's talk about this. Let's talk about it. Because there's a couple in here. They're 22 and 24. And I said to them, I go, you guys boyfriend and girlfriend? They said, yeah. So how old are you? He's 24. She's 22. I said, What a great, great. And see, that's the thing. You don't know it. You don't get it. I've already thought this because her hair is nicely highlighted. And I'm like, I dyed my hair dark because I couldn't go to get my hair done anymore. I've seen Rebecca look at girls and be like, you. Never was I like that. Now I'm so jealous. Don't know why that was needed.

1:48:59I am. How long have they been dating? How long? Two years. Now, when we were off the air, I don't remember. It was a girl. It was me, I think. It was you? Yeah. Said after two years. The clock starts ticking. After two years, the clock starts ticking. And then Woods said, but what if you're only like 22? It's crazy because she's 22. Didn't know that. Sorry. He's like, hey, shut up. You are making life really awkward for the two of us. No, it isn't. It's not if you're dating. You're dating. It's your girlfriend. It's not like two strangers sit next to each other and they're like, wow, this is awkward. They're trying to hook us up, right? Do you guys feel uncomfortable? You're probably in love with one another. You're in love with one another, right? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. What? If somebody said to me and Rebecca, when I was dating her. Yes, they're in love. If somebody said, are you in love? No, it's not. Talking about the big M. It's not like they've been together two months. They've been together two years. Two years. They're kind of comfortable. I think they're comfortable. He's comfortable. He doesn't want you to start asking the next question. Wiener tag. She's just looking at him right now. I'm not going to ask. I'm not going to ask if they're going to get married. I'm not. I will. I'm not. That's not my question because that's not what I want to know. Okay. Because you're not going to get a genuine answer from that. He just said you can ask.

1:50:17But that's not really where... Come over to the microphone. Both of you guys. Come over to the mic. He said we're going to get married. Yes. Good man. Now, wait. Are you engaged? No, no, no. No, no, no. Okay. Well, let me ask you guys a couple of questions. Okay. Have you discussed marriage? Yeah. You have? Mm-hmm. Now, I'm trying to put myself back in 24, 22-ville. Oh, my God. But you've discussed marriage. Now, in what context? How far away? Do you guys want to, have you guys said, well, as soon as I finish this and you finish, is it like that kind of deal? Well, we kind of have, but not a specific date. Like we've looked at rings and stuff. You have? Yeah. That's serious. Yeah. Sign me up for that. Literally. You're 24 and you're 22. So she just got done with college and already got a job going and I've been working for a couple years. You're older? No. Oh, you're okay. Are you both from San Diego? Yes. And so your parents, you know each other's families well and everything. And they're approving of the relationship and all that stuff. Yeah, very much so. Yeah. So it sounds like you guys will most likely probably get married. Now, have you guys ever discussed things like kids? Have you ever discussed that? You have. Okay. Let me talk to her. In what context? Like how many we wanted.

1:51:46He has a look on his face right now like... I guess we... Just say... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Can we have like two or three kids? Yeah, okay. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Smart man. Typical man and woman. Yeah. Typical man and woman. Oh, my God. You said that, right, babe? We did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My skin's crawling. My skin's crawling. Two or three kids. Sure. Okay. Sure. Dude, no. No, yeah. Oh, my gosh. I'm going to give you guys advice. Oh, boy. When you get married, wait a couple of years before the kids. Okay? When those kids start coming, they poop. And they scream their freaking heads off. All freaking night. I say go the opposite direction. Jay, you're... Soon as you get married. Oh, boy.

1:52:35Have as many kids as you can. I agree with that. I do, too. No. While you're young. And enjoy your golden years. Enjoy your youth. Like Jay's golden years right now. I've had them old. I've had them young. And it's so much easier when you can keep up with them and chase them. Well, of course. You're older. You're more experienced. And you can grow up together because then you do all the same stuff. It's fun. Now, listen. Let me tell you. The first year of marriage, I think. I want to squeeze them. Shh. The first year of marriage is very difficult. And the reason that it's difficult. You're scaring them. No way. I love it. Do you want to know this? Wouldn't you like to know this? It's your journey. That's your journey. My first year marriage was badass. Our second one was the rough one. Number two was rough. First year was tough for us because we were getting to know what it was like to have to actually compromise on, oh, you like that brand? Oh, I like this brand. Maybe they know what brands they already like. Okay. Okay.

1:53:36We were also going through the process that you naturally go through of it isn't just about me anymore. Right. Right. You go through that. Yep. And then when the kids come. Pure bliss. Joy. Now. Greatest day of my life. Yeah. There is no doubt. Greatest day of my life. Next to my wedding day. There is no doubt. There is no doubt. I love my children. Would never trade them for the world. Sometimes you want to take your thumb and just put it right in their head and just stick it right in their head. Stick it right in there in their head. I've thought about doing this, but I said I can't because the audience wouldn't tolerate it. I've thought about taping my house, the sound, and I went, no. They'd get mad. They couldn't take it. If they freaked out about ringtones, how are they going to freak out about babies crying? You know what I mean? Well, specifically.

1:54:38Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. Sage doesn't sleep, though, you know? Yes. At least there's like a time where you're just like, oh, I can sleep. That's a true story. I wake up every other hour. And for both of you, this too shall pass. No, I'll tell you this, though. One day. Now, here's the bright side. You ready? The bright side is there's nothing better than marriage. There's nothing better than marriage. Oh, do I love my wife. I love her so much. Couldn't live without her. I mean, I genuinely feel like she's like a lung. It's true. Mine is like I can't get through my day without immediately calling her as soon as I get off the air. I have to talk to her. I have to see her. I have to be with her. When I'm not with her, that's when we fight. She's your best friend. My best friend. Rebecca's my best friend. And, you know, yesterday when I came home and I had found out about my dad.

1:55:40She was so cool. She gave me a hug, and she said, it's okay for you to cry if you want to. And I wasn't ready to, but I thought that was cool. I thought that was a really cool thing. She's just a good chick. So you guys know each other. You know that it's probably going to be forever, and that's a good thing. So when it happens, it happens. It's awesome. You'll hit your valleys, and you'll hit your peaks, but the peaks far outweigh the valleys. I mean, just totally. Yeah. You know, when we get in a fight, it's five minutes. And then I'm like, sorry, usually I'm like, I'm a giant D. I was a giant D last night, by the way. You were? For about 10 minutes. Why? Tornado. You have a tornadic? You're a tornadic. I am a tornadic. This is pretty interesting. So I had an appearance last night from 6 to 7. I usually get in bed at about 7, 15 to 7, 30. I get in bed. I don't really fall asleep. Finish the deal in Kearney Mesa, which is... Like 35 miles from my house. And I was like, oh man, I just want to go home. So I'm driving and my wife calls. And she's with some friends from Texas that are in town. Friends of friends from Texas. Yeah, it was St. Paddy's Day. They had had dinner. There were kids there. It was like a big family thing. But she had had a few glasses of wine over like a six hour period. So she calls me and goes, hey, will you come pick me up? And I go.

1:57:03Where are you? What time? This is at 7.15, right after my appearance. And she goes, will you come pick me up? I go, where are you? And she's like, I'm in Del Mar. And I'm like, I go, babe, I got to go home and go to bed. I don't think that's bad. Hold on. Hold on. I haven't heard anything wrong yet. I haven't heard anything wrong yet. He started to tell the story this morning. And I was like, wow, that sounds unlike Woodsy to be so cool about that. Now the curtain is being peeled back. Now the truth comes out. The curtain is being pulled back. So let me tell you what I said first. Oh, this hurts. She's going to kill me. I said to her, I go, she's like, you're not going to come get me? I was like, let's see. I've been off since 3.30. I just had an appearance until 7. I'm exhausted. I go, I didn't tell you to stay at a bar all afternoon. Oh. She wasn't. She was in a restaurant with her friends and their kids, and they had been shopping. Why did she want you to come pick her up? Because she had had a few drinks. Yeah, she was doing the safe thing. She was being safe. Asking her husband, who's driving right by, to pick her up. Jamie, don't kill me. You won't have to. I'm on Woodside. Zip that lip right now. This is about to be a fight. Is it?

1:58:16Yeah. Because I can't believe. I am on team Jamie. 100%. Jamie. No, but let me tell you. Okay, fine. You think you were wrong. But, you know, I say, you know who doesn't have to call their husband and get their husband upset? Someone has a good time. He's got a job, bro. Visiting with her friends. Visiting with her friends. It's 7 o'clock. It's 2 minutes off the freeway. It's true. 2 minutes in, 2 minutes out. Well, yeah. I mean, if you were right there. I was. Okay. I was. I don't get it. And I go. Why would you not do that? Because I was. I wanted to go have fun, too, but I don't. So I was like, I go, I have to go to work in the morning, and I'm not the one that told you to go out and, you know, have drinks with your friends. He started to tell the story this morning, and, you know, Jamie uprooted her whole life to come. Packed the entire house. Left her friends and family. Left her friends and family. To move to paradise. Did you go to UOG, University of Guilt? You know it better. No, no, no, no. Honestly, she's got it down. I'm just saying, he, and so. When he was telling me the story, yeah, Jamie met up with some of her friends from Texas. And I go, good for her. I was happy. She's had a hard time lately. Sure. And I was really happy. And he goes, yeah. And in my head was like, this seems a little unwoodsy-like to be so cool and understanding. Wait, wait, wait, wait, though. Now, if you had been home, if you'd been home. Different story. Different story.

1:59:38But the fact that you were two minutes off the freeway, okay, I get it. So I go, I'm sorry. I was like, just grab a cab. And then I was driving, and I go, yeah, I go, because I was tired, man. Right now, the women in this room are looking at you with daggers in their eyes, and they are burning a hole through your skull. I know, I can feel it. I'm sweating. You said, take a cap, and she said, okay? Yeah, she's like, fine. She understood. She understood. I would have killed her. Can I interject? Can I interject? Just a second. Just a second. Sienna, I want to talk to you. Now, imagine, like, you're my friend that comes to visit me, and you're like, well, so how's life been? Are you and Steven okay? Yeah, yeah, you know, we're really supporting each other, everything. Let me just call him. I got to get a ride home. Oh, okay, dear. Oh, that's humiliating. Yeah, sure. He's not going to pick me up. I have to get a cab. Can me and Woods talk now? He's not going to pick you up. Maybe I stay out all night. Can me and Woods talk now? All right, now me and you. Okay. So, hey, man, I am having a great time. I'm really glad to see you. Glad you're in town. I got to get going. My wife actually has to get up early, and I'd love to have some more drinks, but if I have more drinks, I'm going to have to call her. I can't call her because she's got to get to bed.

2:01:01She's got a job where she's got to get up real early, so I've got to split. I'd love to keep throwing him back. It's 7 o'clock, though. I'd love to keep throwing him back. I know. That's his bedtime. He can enjoy himself. So for him, it's midnight. Bedtime, really? Because I thought he just got in bed and laid there for an hour. No, no, no. Why wouldn't he be able to? My downtime, Jay. Sometimes you've got to treat yourself. Just make sure that you don't get to the point where you've got to call your husband who's got to go work. No, if it's a Friday night, have at it. If it's a Friday night, have at it. So this got in the way of your nap today? In the middle of the day, too. So you napped today and you laid and watched. Yesterday. Yesterday. He napped naked. He told all of us. For an hour or two? What was it? About three. Four. Three, four hours. Yeah, three, four hours. You do need to get in bed by seven. I'm tired. Leave me alone. Can I be Jamie? So anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to hear it. I want to hear it. Actually, I'll be the friend. You be Jamie now. Okay. Can Steven join us for drinks? You know, he gets up really early. You know, he goes to work around 3.30 or so. So he's actually at home resting because he has an event tonight. Oh, okay. So maybe on his way home? Oh, it must be out of the way. No, no. It's actually on the way home. He just, like I said.

2:02:15Like I said, he wakes up really early, so he needs to, like, get in bed. What time do you go to bed? Like around eight, usually. Oh. So what time is the event over? Seven. Oh, gosh. I haven't seen him in years. It's on the way home, you said, right? Yeah, you know. I got you. Yeah, I could maybe ask him or, like, send him a text. I don't know, though. He's been working all day. Oh, my God. He hasn't seen me in, like, three years. I don't know this girl, by the way. Yes, you do. I don't know the girl. I don't know her. I'm like, yes, you do. I've met her one time. But that's beside the point. That's neither here nor there. I'll tell you what got me. Can I ask a girl something, though? Mm-hmm. Would you girls be on Woods' side if he had been at home? Yeah. Yeah. She can take a cab. So let me tell you what got me. I'm driving, and it's the weirdest thing. I'm driving down the five, and I'm not quite to Del Mar yet. And actually, they had eaten at Poseidon, and then they went down to a place in Encinitas. Now, again, this wasn't five girls throwing them back, doing shots. This was... Five or six kids, a couple of couples, visiting with the family. So it wasn't like, woo! They had been drinking some wine over the course of a long day. Now, Jamie, she won't have a glass of wine to drive. She just won't. And I love that about her. So I was driving, and I'm like, yeah, dude, I've got to go to bed. I'm tired. I was just being selfish. That four-hour nap was just not enough. My wedding song came on. My iPod.

2:03:32My wedding song came on my iPod. At that time, I'm driving, and it's just always on shuffle. And by your side, by Sade, came on. I go, hey, babe, where are you going to be? Yeah, I'll just come get you. So I went and got her. She was probably like the joy that came over her when that call. She saw you were calling, and you said that. She's like, yes. I can be a jerk. But now, more than I ever have before, I realize when I'm a jerk. I'm proud of you. And I'm better. And she bought me these shorts. Very nice. Where did you get those? Surf ride. She bought them for me yesterday. She's a little angel. That's very cool. She's a little angel. She had bought those for you earlier in the day? Little angel. Did you know about said shorts? Yes, I knew about said shorts, Lauren. Damn it! If she needs me to pick her up, then I'll pick her up. I know you will. I knew she had shorts for me. You know what? You know what? You can't plan your life. I try, though. If someone needs you. Yes. No. Todd went out with people like a month ago that he works with. He never goes out with guys at work. But he started a new job and he went out with them. And it was like 11 o'clock at night. And I have a baby. On a work night? Yeah. And my phone rang. And his car, something had happened to his tire. And he was stranded. But it doesn't matter. That's different. Jamie was stuck, too. It's an emergency, man. She was stuck. You get up and you go.

2:04:53That's an emergency. One's an emergency. One, you put yourself there. Todd could have taken a cab home. A cop car. He could have easily taken a cab home. I don't think Todd was knocking back ice waters and iced teas that night. No, he was just fine. But his, you know, it just, it doesn't matter. You go and help him. If Rebecca called me at 9 o'clock at night and said, Hi, babe. 9 o'clock at night. It's different. I've been asleep for three hours. Yeah, I go to sleep at six. Yeah. He goes to sleep at eight. I mean, we go to bed early. What time did she call you? 7.15? It was like 7.15. What if Rebecca called you at 5.15? It's your wife, Mike. It's your wife. My wife could call me at any time, and I would go get her. Yes, me too. I would give her grief. If it was midnight, I'd go. I would never not go. I gave her grief. I let her sweat for about ten minutes, and then I called her back, and I was like, listen, I'm sorry. I'm going to come pick you up.

2:05:56I don't want you getting in a cab. Jay, you make it sound like you're on your white horse with your arm. Yeah, I would be. And you're like, it's my wife. It's not my buddy. But she can take a cab, too. No, she's not going to take a cab. Todd would come and pick me up no matter what time. Probably because I'm cheap, but I don't want to spend your pay for a cab. Did you hear that? What do you think his grief sounds like, by the way? Really? Yeah. Hey, really? Yeah. You going to stay out drinking all night? I'm home with the kids? I've got to work. What are you, crazy? Are you out of your mind? You know you're going to make this up to me, right? Right now. You're going to make it up to me on the drive home. I'll tell you that. I will tell you that, girl. Hey, you get to work. Agree to it. Agree to it. I ain't hanging up. If she's been drinking, no problem. I'm sure your wife just... Hey, listen, I got the key in the ignition, but I ain't turning it until I hear you got to repeat after me. I agree. I agree. I want to know what it goes. All right, then. I'm on my way. Oh, my God. Just, hey, I don't mean to be a stickler about it, but one more time, I agree. I agree.

2:07:08See, I ain't sure. I ain't leaving. I agree. No, I ain't coming unless you can get the words out. I agree. I agree. I'm kidding. You better text Jimmy so I got it right. Yeah, I need it rotten, and I need you to notarize it. John, if you're listening, I'd like you to be a different guy. Be a great fit. He'd be great. Perfect. He's one of the few guys I've ever met and looked at him. When I talked to him, John Foreman from Switchfoot, I was like, damn it. You walk away from meeting John Foreman and you're like,

2:08:28He's one of the sharpest, coolest, nicest guys you've ever met. You want to be better after you meet him. Yeah, absolutely. That is true. Sharp dude. And so talented. Listen to that. I know. You know, the thing that I really appreciate about his voice is how unique it is. You know who it is once you hear it. Dylan wasn't imitating somebody. Oh, wow. Whether or not you like Bob Dylan, Bob Dylan wasn't imitating someone. Right. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, a New York man has been arrested for selling drugs at his ice cream truck. Yes, his name is Louis Scala, and he's accused of being one of the leaders of a Staten Island drug trafficking ring. It illegally sold nearly 43,000 oxycodone pills worth... Percocet. Yeah, worth a million dollars on the street.

2:09:34So, yeah, this guy basically. Winning? Who knows? Yeah, winning. Bring it. No, Charlie, that's not winning. If you can go to an ice cream truck and get Percocets, that's winning. That's not winning. Is it not? No. To me, it is. It's on. He was selling little treats to kids, like candy and stuff, and adult treats to adults. Jealous? Percocet. No, Charlie, I'm not jealous. You've been warned. Awesome. I wonder what? What does that even mean? As I said. The first one's free. The next one goes in your mouth. Oh, my God. Also, Pepsi has lost its spot as the number two soda in the U.S. behind Coca-Cola. Now, Diet Coke has beaten Pepsi, which is the first time a diet soda has been ranked so high. Yeah. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, San Diego Chargers linebacker Kevin Burnett has been pretty vocal about what's going on in the NFL right now with the labor situation. Listen to this quote about NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. Quote, Goodell's full of it. He's a liar. You're a blatant liar. It's our league. It's we. We love the players. We want the league. But what have you done for the players? What have you done, in all honesty, to improve the game besides fine guys?

2:10:47Besides take money away from guys, besides change a game that you've never played, he's done nothing to improve the game. Wow. Kevin Burnett. Never played. Wow. Wow. Wow is right. Those are strong words. He also criticized the league's drug policy. He says if a guy has a drug problem, give him an alternative. Don't just say, hey, stop doing drugs, stamp, six games. You put him in a drug program. Anybody can stick somebody in a, quote, nut house. But what else are you doing? What programs are you putting in place? You know, he is fired up. Hang on. Hang on. Because this is Woods made this point the other day. Does the guy working at Ikea get to say that to Ikea? Right. That's the thing, man. Dude, I work at Ikea. And if I get strung out on meth, what are you going to do for me? Right. Like, I'll tell you what I'm going to do for you. Give you your pink slip. You're fired. Get out of here. Yeah. I mean, we talked that morning about. Just the interesting situation the NFL is in, because what they have on the one side with the players is 0.5% of the human population that can physically do what they do. It's such an elite group of men that perform on Sundays. And they know it. And they know it. And yeah, they're entitled to some stuff. There's no question. They're entitled to their safety. They're entitled to be well compensated. But the other hand is...

2:12:12The owner is the guy. He's your boss. And yeah, can they be greedy? Absolutely. That's why there's a problem right now. That's why we may not see football next year. That's why I may be going down and trying out for quarterback. Because why the hell not? That's why I'm going to try out for Waterboy. 100%. Might as well. Might as well. I'd love to see both of those things. If they hold the open tryout, I am going. I'd be a backup. You will die. I know I'm going to die. You can't even have a hard time getting over the parking lot to the stadium. Have you seen me throw a football? I can throw a football. But run. I can run. I'd be the backup gardener. You can do that. I wouldn't start. Like groundskeeper? You could be the starter. You think I could start? Yeah. In that league? Definitely. The gardening league? Oh, you got one thing going for you. Mexican. Fair enough. That's right. Little brown hands. Bring your Crocs. I'm the only one that can say it. Real good. You don't have to bring up the Crocs. Oh, I'm sorry. Don't wear them anymore. Do you not? Maybe I do. Not in front of anybody. Only when I'm gardening. I'm not gardening anymore. I'm sorry. I know it. I'm going to have a different hobby. Should I come up with different hobbies? I'm going to play video games for 10 minutes. I quit. You ever have hobbies? You should use my gardener. He spits jalapeno seeds.

2:13:26Maybe one of the funniest things you've ever said. There is no question. That's one of the funniest things that's ever grossed in these airwaves. It wasn't on the air. Yeah, it was. I don't remember. I guarantee it wasn't on the air. It was off the air. You would appreciate it if it grew in your house. Yeah. Sienna said, yeah. We have like jalapenos growing around our house. It's because the Mexican gardeners, they have jalapenos in their lunch and they spit the seeds. So the jalapenos grow. Who spits seeds out? They're japonero peppers. And they grow and they're so good. How does somebody eat a raw japonero? That's the only thing we could think of. Or they gut the seeds out. Unbelievable. Our stupid gardener spitting seeds all over our yard. Not stupid. She was happy. Brilliant, because now we have, you know, delicious, fresh huevos rancheros in the morning with peppers right there in our yard. I spat out of a real Mexican's mouth. So you know they're good. They're so fresh, delicious, and spicy. They're the real thing. Hey, guys.

2:14:32We really would want an orange tree. Can you guys eat this orange and spit your seeds into the backyard? Not the same. I could do that. That's true. We want some spit navels. You ever just get hobbies and give up on them? Yes. Yes. All the time. What did you start and stop, Sienna? Everything. Cooking. I bought cookbooks and I was like, I'm going to be cooking. Raise your hand if you're the worst at starting a hobby in the room, at starting a hobby and then quitting it. There's words in cookbooks that I just, I didn't know what they were and I just gave up. Google maybe? No. Why not just take the piece of paper to the store and be like, where's this? Because it's not like food. It's like terms of, you know, like a pinch of blah, blah, blah. And you're like. I don't know how much that is. Or it's some sort of technique. You're like, I don't know what that is. Double boil. You're like, what? What? Yeah. I go really gung-ho on something and buy all the materials and stuff. And then I spend an entire day making it and being like, this is going to be my thing. And then... Are you a good cook? Not really. Only a few good things. But same thing. I have a bunch of cookbooks where I'm like, this is going to be my new thing now. Yeah. I have a juicer that lasted a couple days. I stick to what I know. We get into stuff. P90X.

2:15:50Guitar pick earrings. I dropped $300 on every gadget, every protein powder, every post-recovery powder. I did it for like a week. And you know the deal. You're like, if I spend this much money, I can't do it. That's my deal with the guitar. So far, so good. How's your gym membership working out there, Woods? Yeah, you get a gym membership, then you buy new running shoes, workout clothes, so you look good at the gym. Go for one day. Poor Woods. Get him back, Woods. I can't. It's mean. I have one. It's just mean. Oh, boy. You can use it. I'm being different. I'm swallowing my hatred and my venom right now. I'm really trying. You don't have a hatred. Not hatred. It's a strong word. I would never. Jay's my man. He knows that. That's why I know I can pick at you. Exactly. I am fat, and I give up on gyms. I don't like to work out. I'm sorry. God, it's the worst. I have a Ron Popeil rotisserie oven. Say what? In English, please. That's why I gave up on cookbooks. Stuff like that. Ron Popeil. You have a Ron Popeil? A Ron Popeil. Is that a name? Set it and forget it. Is that a name? Ron Popeil? Like a crock pot? I've never heard of Ron Popeil. You have never heard of him? No. I like girls. Mikey likes chicken.

2:17:18Yeah, Ron Popeil does infomercials and he sells rotisserie ovens that you cook chickens in. And you had to have it. Had to. What's the bit? You get your chicken, you stick the thing through and you leave it. Yeah. And how many times did you do it? Twice. Was it good? It's a lie. Once. Is it good? Did you even do it once? It was good. It was great. You had to clean it. One summer I got into making pies. And by one summer, I mean two summers ago. When I was pregnant, I was going to stop my gut. He's a man, Tienna. Oh, yeah. And I had to have this device that cored the apples. Had to have it. Of course. Skin the apple and cored the apple. It's the coolest thing ever. Because otherwise, you couldn't make your pies. I couldn't make my apple pies. Why don't you make us an apple pie? How many pies did you make?

2:18:14Would you say? That summer. That's it? The whole summer? Two. So you weren't really into pie making? He was at the time. I was at the time. He thought for sure. I got into it. He was going to be the next Betty Crocker. I was going to make a great pie. And I was going to be known for it. And people would go, oh, dude, you've got to make one of those pies. That was going to be your best? Yeah. People would be like, dude. Betty Crocker. Mike. Please. Mike. You're like, come on, dude. It takes all day. You're like. Dude, my party isn't going to be, it's not going to be the bomb 4th of July party without Mikey's famous apple pie. His famous jalapeno pie. Let's be honest. Yeah. How were they? I want you to make one. How were they? It's a beating. Did you make the crust and everything? No. You are a fake pie lover. You're a fake pie maker. I'm just being honest. I could have lied right there. I bought frozen. It's not the same. So what did you want to be known for? The filling. You have the best filling in town. But I didn't think anybody would have the rocks to be like... Where was your joy going to come from? Pinching the stuff together? Putting the filling in? What drew you to this pile?

2:19:30You doing a report for the paper? No. I want to know, too. I want to study your brain. I know. I want to know what your thoughts were. I wanted people to go, holy cow. This is apple pie. Dude, who the hell made this pie? What'd you do to this? And I'd be like, it was me, it was me. I know. Were you secretly really jealous when our program director, Garrett, brought in a... Key lime pie, and we all lost our brains over it. No, I wasn't jealous. Until now. I wasn't jealous, but I go through these little phases. A couple summers ago, I decided I was going to make homemade tortillas. Weird. Well, that seems more fitting. Right. I mean, that I can understand. Yeah. Pie, not so much. I thought I was going to do a little tamale cart. I mean, it was no big deal. And of all things, apple pie. Yeah. It was just so American. Yeah. I mean, if it was tamale pie. That I would understand. I love it. All right. Pie making, tortilla making. Rotisserie chicken making. Rotisserie chicken making. These are all hobbies started and stopped. I'll deal with food. Yes. Oh, I've got a billion food phases. Cologne making. Cologne. Yep. That was a thing. I wanted to be a cologne maker. You wanted to be Calvin Klein. Yeah. I still would. Be a cologne maker. Yeah. Clothes designer?

2:20:56He wants to be the designer for Tommy Bahama. Yeah, that's the only thing that's still stuck. That's stuck, though. You stuck with it. You're still in on that. He wants to be the model of the linen. Yes, you're in on the prints and floral designs. Apple product reviewers. Yep, you get that, too. Movie reviewer. You know, it's fine if you guys are making fun of me apple pie. I made apple pies. You did? No, I'll tell you this. The Cruster. I made... I made... I went through a long time listeners of Mikey's show. Remember my tomatoes. I remember that. I can't believe that the program had high ratings because I would talk about these freaking tomatoes before kids. You know, I was like, so the tomato today. Oh, my gosh. Tomato talk with Mikey. You talked about tomatoes. Welcome to tomato talk with Mikey. Tomatoes were beautiful. I made heirloom. I grew heirloom tomatoes, and I had books about heirloom tomatoes. You ate them because you love tomatoes so much. I don't like tomatoes. Did you want a restaurateur to come to you and say, these are the best freaking tomatoes. I need you to grow more. I took a lot of pride when people would say, whoa, that's a good tomato. What's your secret? What are you?

2:22:22How did you do this? How did you? What? I didn't know you could get tomatoes like this in California. It's amazing. Well, I watered the ground and they grew like crazy. Did Rebecca eat tomatoes? No. You guys just had tomatoes? We gave them away. Yeah. He wanted to give them as gifts and hear people go, look, I don't know where you got those tomatoes from or what you did, but I got to have them. I got to have more. People would be giving, I imagine, like testimonials. Until I had Mikey's tomatoes. I really didn't know what a tomato was. There'd be over the top tomato. Mikey's tomatoes are freaking weird. They're so good. And no more. You gave up on that too. Gave up. I get into those hobbies, but more because I'm like, that's a good thing to fill my time with. Instead of the, I want to be known as the girl that knit. I just want to do it for myself. Please don't start knitting. I did. Because then I'd get scarves and stuff. I almost didn't come to our first Mikey Show dinner because I had a knitting class. I would put her under a microscope. Both of you. Pathology. And probably me too. Slice our brains and study it. Mikey and Lauren especially. Yeah. They're unique brains. I do odd things that people don't know about. I'll tell you one. The other day, I opened my bottom dresser drawer and all that was in there was books. Cookbooks.

2:23:49Books, just books. The drawer weighed approximately 70 pounds. That's a real estimate. 70 pounds. Had to pull it out. Took a lot of effort. There was various papers and just, you know, odds and ends. And I decided I'm going to clean this out. So I made a pile of keep and a pile of throwaway. And I put the keep back into that dresser drawer where it doesn't belong. And then I took a nap. And when I woke up. I saw the stuff laying there for throw away. And I looked at this. We have an armoire where we keep our television and it's got drawers. I went, I opened the bottom drawer. It was empty. No one knows this. Not even my wife. She doesn't know this at this moment. You know it. Everyone listening knows it. My wife doesn't know it. I took all that garbage stuff and put it into the bottom drawer and closed the drawer. Why? Laziness to take it to throw it away or you couldn't get rid of it? I didn't want to deal with it.

2:24:51I didn't want... Either way. I wanted it out of my sight. Out of sight, out of mind. I wanted to go like this. I wanted to say to it like this. Go away. Get out of here. So, bam. Close the thing. I'm done. It's out of my life. Now it's there, though. And then you know it's there. And I thought to myself, there will be a day. I don't know when the day is, but there will be a day where Rebecca will go, babe. I would say about 10.30 today when you get home. Right now, she's like, babe. I love that. I love that backstory because I'll go over. I notice everything. So I'll go over to Matt's place and I'm like, why did you put that vase over there? And he's like, how did you notice that? And I love the psychology of picturing the little guy going through the motions and being like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That's a better spot for the vase. Rebecca the other day was looking for medicine for me. And I said, I think that there's some in my upper left-hand drawer in my bathroom sink. And as she was going to look, I felt like she was going to find caca in my shorts because I knew when she opened it up, she was going to go, oh, my gosh. Just piled. There's just random. Yeah. You know, there might as well be. It's just there's honestly there's a screwdriver in there. There's tweezers. There's if she were to take a picture of it, it's humiliating. Yeah.

2:26:17My bedside table drawer is the same. And Todd's is like a serial killer neat. I'm like you. You just throw stuff in there? I throw stuff in there. I have nothing that's neat. I have a chair in my room that I throw all my clothes on because I can get use out of them again, but I don't want to put them back in my closet because I wore it like one time. So I pile everything in my chair and he goes home and his stuff is perfectly put away. And here's the chair. It's overflowing. I have the same chair. It's overflowing. text picture and send it to you. I have the hamper. I put everything on top of the hamper every day. Me too. On top of the hamper. I can wear it again. She loses her mind. Dude, how much effort would it take for you and I to lift the hamper and put the clothes in it? You put what's dirty on top of the hamper. But then I get in trouble because she goes, babe, you only wore those shorts one time. You want me to wash them again? I'm like... No, you're right. She's like, well, go put them in your drawer. I'm like, can you just do it? I don't want to put it in the drawer again, though, with all the stuff that is perfectly clean. Can you just do it? Just handle it. I'll pay the bills. Just handle it. Why do we not want to put things in a hamper?

2:27:23I wish I had somebody to follow me around and I could just be like, here, put those in my hand. I can't do it. I can't be neat. It's the littlest things, though, that drive you batty, but when you get that monkey off your back, you're like, oh, I had a Netflix thing in my car for days. I can't drive up to my mailbox because it's just the way that it is, so I have to get out of the car. and put it in and put the stupid flag up and I'm just like for days and so finally I was like driving home and I was like no wait another day and then finally I was like you get out of that car and I got out and I was like and then I got a little email from Netflix that was like we have received your and I was like yes she's like on the battlefield of Vietnam walking that Netflix A little thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, I have a million more. We have a story to tell you about a lady that got kicked out of a library. Or as Jay would say, a library. 100. We'll do that. Make some noise in here. We got a live story. Yes, I tackled a lion.

2:28:52I didn't want to. I didn't want to. He didn't give me a choice. I had to save a box of puppies. What was I supposed to do? I mean, yeah, you would have. Well, you wouldn't have. You're a fat ass. You wouldn't have. You wouldn't do it. I can do it. Yes, I want a fist fight with a bear. Big deal. Oh, what? I mean, I had that, buddy? Yes, I happen to out drink Hank Williams. Yes, I bit a shark. I want to. Yeah. He called it a J attack. The shark went back and said it was a J attack. And to this day. Over a hundred stitches. Yes, my poison killed a rattlesnake. Who doesn't? I saw a rattlesnake sucking another rattlesnake's venom out from my back. Yeah, right. It was a rattlesnake sucking J venom out. He said, I got bit by a J. Please suck this out. Please. I don't want that. I was born this way. Why are you yelling at me? It's the greatest. It's my favorite new bit. I don't have this song, so I'll need to download it today. Yes, you will. Why do I love this stuff? I do, too. Because you're a recovering alcoholic. I think that's it. I think that's it. You hear this, and you're like, yep, I'm getting a bottle of whiskey. I mean, that's just how it goes. Get down from your boots. Yep.

2:30:22Think that guy's ever worn white socks under a pair of cowboy boots? You think this guy's ever taken his cowboy boots off and there's just brown dust all over those socks? Think his socks have ever been soaking wet and he's hung them on his radiator? You think this guy's ever sat on the long bed of a Ford and had springs breaking underneath it? Do you think the guy's ever whittled a piece of beach wood in his life? Ever changed a flat tire in less than a minute? Ever chewed on a piece of straw? Ever farted on a tour bus? Ew! Do you think he's ever had greasy food? Do you think this guy has a favorite chicken place? Do you think he's ever cooked nice, warm sausage on a Saturday morning? This guy ever sliced some Jimmy Dean up? With his pocket knife. Ever call and complain about the reduced size of a comedian sausage? Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Welcome back. What did I say we were going to do? 911 call. Oh, yeah. So there was a woman in a library. Now, she was there with her 14-month-old son who apparently made a cooing noise in the library.

2:31:40The cooing, was that a cue? That was a cue. And the people working at the library went up to her and said, you know, you have to control your baby. This is the library. You need to be quiet. And so she said she immediately gave her baby a bottle. And before the baby even had an opportunity to make any more noise, the people working at the library came back up to her and said, look, you know, the chances are too great that your baby's going to cry now. Making noises of the library kicked her out. This is according to her. Her name's Sarita Foster. And she said when she went outside, she was escorted out by a security guard. And the branch manager wanted her to leave because the baby made the noise. And then she said she obviously fought back and just said, this is ridiculous. And then she was told she was going to be arrested for trespassing if she ever came back. Because the baby, I think she's overtelling the story just a little bit. But the point of the story is she can't go back to this library because the baby cooed. This is what it sounded like with the 911 call. 911, can I help you? Yeah, my son is being really unruly. I'm actually kind of afraid for my life because he's going a little bit on a tirade. He's trying to do drugs. He's trying to do booze. He's trying to smoke cigarettes. We've gotten kicked out of the library now. Okay, ma'am, where are you located? We are at the library on Spruce Street. And your name? My name is Rebecca, Rebecca Esparza. Okay, what's your son's name?

2:33:09His name is Luke. Okay, let me talk to him. Okay. Here. Hello. Luke, what seems to be the problem? With what? Your mother's calling. Your mother, Rebecca Esparza, is calling emergency 911. So what's the emergency? What are you doing? Well, the emergency is that I really needed a smoke, and she took my smokes. And, you know, I don't take her property. Okay. So you're saying she stole them? Yeah, she stole them from me. Okay. And I paid for them. Well, I had somebody pay for them. I took money out of my dad's wallet to have somebody pay for them, but they are my property, in fact. Okay, well, would you like to have an officer talk to her about the theft? Well, yeah. I mean, I want my cigarettes back is the bottom line, and actually she's got a flask of Jack Daniels that's mine as well. Okay. And, you know, you can't just take stuff. Okay. You know, this isn't Russia. My name's Luke. Luke. Yeah, Esparza. Okay, let me talk to Rebecca Esparza. Yeah, no problem. Hey, you have a good day. Uh-huh. Thank you. I mean, is he ridiculous? Well, ma'am, he's stated that he wants to file a report against you, so we're going to send an officer down there to file a report against you. He's one and a half. He can't file a report.

2:34:28Ma'am, it's impossible for a person to be one and a half feet tall except for Mikey. No, he's one and a half years old. Okay. And? And? Was that his property or did I misunderstand? I mean, technically it's his property, but he's one and a half. Okay, first of all, ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to stop screaming. I'm not screaming. You're shouting. This is actually, I'm in a library, so this is my inside voice. Nope. You're yelling right now. You're yelling, and it's scaring me. It's frightening me. If you... Okay. All right, so I need you to lower your voice. Okay. Okay, I can talk like this. Okay, now you're hysterical. Now you're behaving like you're hysterical. I'm not hysterical. Yes, you're acting like you're out of your mind. I'm not out of my mind. Okay. Can you send someone down here? I may be able to send someone down there, but it's hard to understand you when you're shouting like that, when you're screaming. If you're going to be unruly, I can't help you. My advice would be to give your child his property back so that you're not arrested for theft and stop screaming. Just send an officer down.

2:36:02So I built my own pond. Yes, I did. Who hasn't? I built the house we live in, duh. Parts of it. I built a lake. A pond is no big deal. That's right. I built the damn Indian Ocean. Y'all didn't know? Yeah. Great wall. Hello. I just call it the wall. Just the wall. That's an awful turn. Remember Stonehenge? As me. Hello. I whittled it. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, The Blasters. Let's see. Oh, this weekend, I want to let you know that I'm going to be speaking this weekend at the El Camino Country Club. It's behind the Hooters on 78, of course, North County. And it's tomorrow morning at 7.30, $10 a person. And you get bacon, eggs, sausage, and pancakes.

2:37:04Maybe I spend 80 bucks. Yep, I'm in. So there you go. And I'll be out there doing my thing, giving my testimony, the long version of the testimony and stuff like that. Speaking of, if you would like, I do a Christian podcast that you can find on iTunes. And if you search under the podcast section, if you search VOM, you will find it. And so check that out. If you get a chance, it's called VOM. And it's doing really good. It's cool. Getting a lot of emails about that. And I really like it. What else? Does anybody else? Do you guys have anything going on this weekend? Any events? Semi-pro baseball. Chula Vista High Sunday doubleheader, 930. Doubleheader. It'll probably be rained out. I know. It's supposed to be cloudy on Sunday. What do people do with their tickets if it gets rained out? Oh, you can come to the next week game. We'll have a makeup game. What about their, do they need to get new paper tickets or will they be emailed to them? No, they can just show up. Mailed to them? What will happen to the actual, what do they need to do with the tickets they have? There's no ticket. You just show up. You just come. It's free. Oh, but you don't have to buy a ticket to the game? No, it's free. Anybody can come. You could come. You could come if you wanted to.

2:38:26Well, but they have a capacity. Yeah, as many as we can hold. I remember I went to the San Diego Surf Dogs, was the semi-pro league that I went to, and I still had to pay. I think that was minor league. Yeah. It's different. Oh, it's different. Yeah. What's the difference? They're professionals. Okay. We're semi-pro. Semi-professional. Now I'm seeing the distinction. Right. Okay, I gotcha. See, we have a sponsor and stuff, so we don't pay. You don't have to. Right, because they pay. What's the step under semi-professional? Amateur. Amateur. Oh. Now, do you have an example? Like, what would that be, an amateur baseball league? They would play at, like, a high school, an amateur. Yeah, they could also play at a high school. No. We play at high schools. Chula Vista High School, in fact, on Sunday. On Sunday. Would the other teams in your league, since not all of them get sponsored, would you consider them to be amateur teams? Yes. Oh. They are amateur teams? Yes. Why? Because they're not sponsored. Right. They're not getting paid to play. But they're in the same league. Same league? Yeah, but they're not getting paid to play. We're semi-professional. You're not getting paid. Yeah, I didn't have to pay. So therefore, it's like money in my bank. How much was your last paycheck? It's money in my bank. In your bank? Yeah, it's $120 I didn't have to spend. So, all right, let's say, what's 120 divided by 20? Six? I make about six bucks a game. Semi-professional. See? There you go. There you go.

2:39:56It's not bad. So I'll make $12 on Sunday. Nice. Congratulations, Baller. Perfect. There you go. 570-1949 is our phone number. And we've got March Music Madness coming up in a little bit. At the end of the show, on Friday, I tell you my story, my testimony. And today's is so special to me. And the reason it's special is because more than... Probably any other day that I think I've given you my testimony, I hope that today God's light shines out of it. You know, I used to put my hope in everything you could possibly think of. And growing up, I was hopeless. I always felt hopeless. I never had anything to look forward to. Have you ever been in a place where you felt like you didn't have anything to look forward to? Everything was a mess. No matter what you did, it was a mess. I got an email from a guy recently and the subject was broken. And that's what he said. He was telling me about how he had a good job. He was dating a new girl. He painted a picture that looked pretty good. And then he said, and oh, by the way, I'm completely broken. And that was me. Completely broken. My relationship with my dad has always been a good relationship.

2:41:37I've always been very close with my pop. And it was really tough to have to take my dad and get all these tests done to find out if his cancer had come back. And yesterday we went to the hospital and they told him that it had and that he's got three to four years to live. And I looked at him and the thought had to go through my head that he may not get to see. My little boys celebrate their fifth birthday party. That it's a possibility that when they turn five years old, their grandpa won't be there. My mom couldn't go with us because she has Alzheimer's disease. And he's told me every day she slips further and further away. And the woman that he's loved for 54 years slips further and further away. When we got home from the hospital, I had to tell her.

2:42:53what they told us. I didn't tell her the part about the three to four years and I made sure that when I gave my testimony this morning that she wasn't listening. But even when she heard that the cancer was back, it was agonizing to hear her break down and go to his side and wrap her arms around his left arm and squeeze it while tears were pouring down her face. And I didn't shed a tear. And the reason that I didn't shed a tear was because of the hope that's inside of me. And I told my dad yesterday that the day that he goes will be a very short separation between he and I seeing each other again. There's a strength and a hope and a power that exists inside of me that just didn't exist before. A lot of people ask themselves, why do things...

2:44:12Like what happened in Japan, disasters like that where so many lives are lost. Why do things like that happen? Sometimes you just can't see the bigger picture. I could ask myself, why does my son have autism? Why did my mom get Alzheimer's? Why in the midst of my mom needing my dad more than ever before, did he just get diagnosed with a cancer that'll take his life within three to four years? And the answer is because I'm on the air today. And I hope that you can hear the strength and the happiness in my voice, knowing that it's all to be okay. If you're suffering from anything like addiction or depression, if you're suffering from any of those things, go to Mikey show.com. And at the top of the page, it says help. And you can click there and you can find help for all those things. I have no idea how long my dad will be with us.

2:45:40But what I do know is that this life is a grain of sand on the beach. And Jesus Christ saved my life from addiction and depression and bulimia and everything you could possibly imagine. He turned my life around. That story belongs to me. And it's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. I love you. At the end of the show on Friday, I play a song and... I hope that you can find a lot of reassurance in the song. Because the song may hit you right where you are. It's by Red. It's called Not Alone. Have a great weekend. Hillary's coming up next. And we'll see you again on Monday morning at 6. The Mikey Show's out.