The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/22/10

0:00KBCT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Lines open and available for you right now. Welcome to Monday. It's The Mikey Show, and the phone number here is 570-1949. Mikey Show is five people. Myself, our boy Woodsy, Lauren O'Brien, Sienna Farrar, and Jay Isbell. And we all range in age. I'm 39. Woodsy is 34. Lauren O'Brien's 29. Our girl Sienna is 24 years old. Jay's 46. And you are first priority. You're an M1. If you're listening right now, you are an M1. You're a Mikey Show listener. You listen to the Mikey Show exclusively. When you call into the show, you turn your radio down. Get to the point. Don't cuss. Make sure you're an M1, part of M1 Nation.

2:26Give us a call right now about anything you want to talk about. We're going to be going over all kinds of stuff, including, and I think the biggest story today is the Tiger Woods interviews. There's a couple of Tiger Woods interviews that are out there right now. ESPN and also the Golf Channel had interviews with Tiger talking to him about all things Tiger. So we're going to be going over that audio in just a bit. Also. We're going to be talking about the monumental health care. We're going to be talking about Flotopia, obviously, which took over. Got to. And all kinds of stuff. We've got a huge, packed show today. So get in here. Line them up. Let's get these phone calls lined up. Jay will take your call. Give us a call right now, 570-1949. Let's see. So first up, obviously. is this monumental health care thing that went down yesterday. Uh-huh. This is humongous. Sienna, what do we know? Well, the health care reform legislation has finally passed. Last night they had a historic vote of 219 to 212 to approve the bill.

3:42Now it's on its way to President Obama for a signature. Now what this means is the legislation will extend coverage to 32 million Americans who don't have insurance right now. It will also reduce the deficit by an estimated $138 billion over the next 10 years and more than a trillion dollars over the next two decades. Now the really cool thing about this is some other provisions is it will ban insurance companies from dropping someone if they get sick. It will also ban insurance companies from putting lifetime dollar limits on policies and denying coverage. for pre-existing conditions. So like if you have a pre-existing condition right now and you get fired from your job, I mean, the way it was, was you were screwed. You know, do you know how expensive it is to have insurance if you have a pre-existing condition? So now that will no longer be an issue. Well, and there's obviously a lot of things about it that I think are pretty cool. Yeah. There's a lot of things about it that make me really uncomfortable. Like the fact that every... Republican and 34 Democrats said no to it, but it got passed anyway, which is weird. We knew that was going to happen. But it did. And here is the monumental moment where that went down. Chanting, yes, we can. Is this in the house? It's not a soccer game. I know you probably thought that was a soccer game. I don't have TV, so I missed it. I have TV. I still missed it. You know what I mean?

5:10I was like, yeah, I'll hear all about it. And there it is. It's really monumental. Voila. What? Oh, dear. That was a deep sigh. What? Weird. I think it's weird. Do you? Yeah, the whole thing's weird. Is it, dude? It kind of freaks me out. Does it? Well, we'll see. Will we? Maybe you're right. I'm trying to look at the brighter picture. I am. Are you? I'm trying. Are you? I really feel great about it. Do you? Here is a guy named me. He's a Republican dude named John Bonner. He went off. Weird. Now, I know what's going to... I'm going to tell you, before you even hear it, you're going to go, dude sounds like a nerd. What do you want? Okay, sounds like a nerd. Look at how this bill was written. Can you say it was done openly? Sounds like Obama. With trans... I kind of thought so, too. 100% like Obama. Dude's doing his Obama impression. I'm trying to win over the public. The public. Guarantee and accountability.

6:13Without backroom deals and struck behind closed doors? Hidden from the people? Hell no, you can't! Except he's yelling a lot more. If this was my dad, I'd be like, Dad, come on, dude. Embarrassed. Embarrassing me. Dad, my friends are texting me. You're acting like an idiot. My friends... Stop lifting up your arms. You can see your sweatpants rings. Sweatpants. My friend just texted me, what's up with your dad? Have you read the bill? Have you read the reconciliation bill? Have you read the manager's amendment? No, no, you haven't. Great dad. He does sound nerdy. Sounds nerdy because he's yelling so much. God forbid we take care of our American people. Yeah. No, dude, I am down with taking care of the American people. It's all the other stuff that's in there. There's a billion different things that get shoved in there with it. And I'm also like.

7:18How are we going to pay for this thing, man? Like more than $400 billion in higher taxes? Like that? Oh, yeah, that's fun. I'm in. You are a man of the people. Really? Yeah, I'm in. Stop it. I'm a man of the people. Are you? Yeah, I am. So is Lauren. Yeah. You take it out of our checks. You're a woman of the people. Yeah. You take it out of our checks. And me, Lauren, and Jay will take care of it. IOUs. Can't wait to see. IOUs. I can't wait to see the kid go in the emergency room a year and a half from now. Yeah, dude, guess what? I was 900th in line. It was great. It was really wonderful. So happy. 900. You know what I went in there with? My head was chopped off, right? I was holding it in my hand. I was holding my head with a Yankee hat on top. Helped my head for four hours to be seen by a doctor. It took me 18 days to be seen. Yeah, I was like, hey, doc, this is my head that I'm holding in my hands. When do I get in there? Bro, can it get any worse? When was the last time you went to the emergency room? It's not going to get worse. The answer to your question is yes. It can. Yes, it can. Yes, it can. I'm crossing your fingers that it doesn't right now. Yeah, that would be the stupidity of the people that go to the emergency room when it's not an emergency room. Oh, so that's what we're going to do. Maybe we'll start saying, let's get used to that. When we get into the emergency room, there's 900 people in there. Double the 900 that are in there now.

8:41We'll be like, well, they're just dumb for going. We'll have Woods be the enforcer. I'll be the enforcer. Wait, what are you here for, pal? There you go. Get. I'll take my wooden spoon, smacking people on the knees. You don't need it. Get. Get. You're fine, pal. Rub some dirt on it. Here's a Band-Aid. Rub some mud on it. Put some dirt on it. You'll be fine. Great. So that's a big deal. I don't know what else to say about it. I really don't know what else to share with you about the health care deal, except for now it's headed to Obama. He'll put his pen on it, and then away we go. Pretty big day in American history. It sure is. Like it or not, it's a pretty big deal. Yes, it is. I hope two years from now, I'm like, man, you know what? I was really wrong about that thing. Man, it sure is wonderful, isn't it? Absolutely, dude. That's what I hope. I hope so, too. We can all hope that. Yeah. But we probably won't see a whole lot of effects for a couple years now. It's pretty exhausting thinking about and talking about. You know, it really is. There's a lot of... A lot of details, I think, that the five of us don't even, we can't even fathom, you know? I think there's a lot of people in the house that don't have a lot of details on that, though. Don't worry. We're going to get to all this Tiger stuff. Man, we got a lot of Tiger stuff to go over. It was a big day for the Woods boys yesterday. I know it. Tiger Woods and Steve Woods. Really? Like identical twins. Two incredible athletes. Absolutely. Don't believe me? Go to the Mikey Show fan page on Facebook and look at the pictures of the kid.

10:08Slinging some heat. Slinging it. You know what I mean? Yesterday. Ended in a tie. So weak. You were hating that. All night. I couldn't sleep. I'm furious. For goodness sake. A tie in baseball. Our umpire, who looked like Johnny Paycheck, by the way, I guess had to get home to his weed because he called a tie. I was like, really? Guess who was the last out, too? Your boy. Furious. Bat throw, helmet throw, the whole thing. You are so dramatic. No, I'm just a competitor. That's right. And I like to win. That's awesome. I do, too. That nickname is for real, the kid. You know what I mean? The baby. Yeah. Kids sometimes can act like a kid. Oh, yeah. Big time. So, the tournament, who is, uh, who... What is happening in the tournament right now? Because there's a lot of big shocks that happen over the weekend. Look, dude, I'm the sports guy, and I don't even want to talk about the tournament at all. Why? My reporting was going to be, I'm done. I'm out. Great. It's over. Why? Dude, the mighty have fallen. There's a lot of sign going on. The mighty have fallen, and I'm not talking about Tiger Woods. Well, I am, but really, dude, Kansas, who I had to take the whole thing. They were the top-seeded team in the tournament.

11:27Northern Iowa. Yeah. Really? They soiled themselves. Yeah. They soiled themselves. Terrible. Terrible. Yeah. The Northern Iowa Panthers, I mean, they were hungrier. They played better defense. They made more shots. They made more clutch shots. And they knocked the kid out of his bracket. I'm done. My bracket is over. Yeah. It's brutal. You know, I was watching the game and I felt so bad for those. Those Kansas kids, did you see they were putting their jerseys above their heads so that you couldn't see them crying? Yeah. They should have worn a bag over their heads. They were starting to cry. You could tell. That's why college basketball is so much more fun to watch than the pros. Oh, yeah. Because those kids really care. I thought that, too. They're not getting paid. They're just doing it because they want. Allegedly. Unless they play for USC. Then they get paid. They get a couple dollars here and there. Do they really? Maybe a thing here. You know, boosters. Blue chips. It's a booster. Blue chips. Yeah, blue chips. Go Trojans. So, where do we stand now? Who can still... Break it down, yeah. What is it, Sweet 16? Is that what we got? Yeah, that's what we're going into on the 25th. And what about our...

12:42pool here in the Mikey show. You're going to act like you don't know there, Mike? You're going to act like you don't know you're in the lead right now? We have Mikey in the lead, but my feeling is it won't be for long. That's my feeling too, Mike. Mikey is a clear winner right now with 59 points in our bracket, but you have Maryland winning the whole thing, who is out. And then in the finals, you had Marilyn versus Villanova, who is also out. It feels real good. Yeah. I still have somebody in the finals, which is Kentucky, but it doesn't matter. I had Kansas to win the whole thing. Yeah. You've got Xavier and Washington still in your final four. Yeah. And Sienna, I will say, if I were a betting woman, is standing on the most solid ground right now. See, but you said that about me on Friday. I know. And look where I sit today. I know. But right now, she's got her final four still intact. That's awesome. She has Ohio State, Kentucky, this is Syracuse. Yeah, the Q's looks good. And Baylor.

13:49Which is an interesting pick. Sienna, tell your husband he did a great job with those picks. I love you, Todd. Fresh hundred coming your way, Todd. Knock on wood right now. Knock on some paper. Looking pretty good. Then we got Jay behind that. Jay was the king of the upsets in this bracket. He was the only one to pick Northern Iowa over Kansas. Unbelievable. And St. Mary's over Villanova. Really? No way. I like this name better. They sure are pretty. Oh, the Panthers. I like them. I don't know what a Jayhawk is, so I'm going to pick those guys. And a Panther would eat a Jayhawk. That's my bit next year. I literally, next year, I'm going to throw darts. And I guarantee you'll do better. No, I think, I was going to say Todd, but I think Sienna's. She picked the right amount of upsets. Good, solid, sort of underdog. Todd knows what he's doing. Todd is the biggest sports fan ever. He knows what he's doing. It was pretty good. And then we've got Jay had UC Santa Barbara, who didn't even make it past the first round. He had him in the final game. But he has Duke winning the whole thing. He's got a shot.

15:00Me and Woods are in last place right now, but I'm definitely still standing on more solid ground than Woods because, like you said, had Kansas winning the whole thing. So Mikey has his main pick is out. Yeah. My main pick is out. Yeah, but you've got three out of your four final four still intact, which is Syracuse, Kentucky, and Duke. Well, then I still have a shot. You still have a shot for sure. There you go. I still have a shot, too. I've got Syracuse and Kentucky in the Final Four still, and Kentucky winning the whole game. Bottom line is, it's been a really, really exciting tournament. Yeah. I mean, really exciting. And nobody could have guessed that. And our picks couldn't be more different. Oh, I know. Here's the thing. If you're not into March Madness, all you have to do is fill out a bracket one time, and you'll be into it. Yeah, it's fun. I was watching the Purdue game, like, come on! Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's awesome. And we don't know anything. Nothing. But all you have to do is circle a team on those brackets and you're in. You're emotionally and financially invested in that team. Absolutely. Even if there's no money involved, it's bragging rights. It's just bragging rights. Love it. Been having a blast with it. It's fun. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. If you want to, text us. Over the weekend, Flotopia happened. Do you know what that is? So bummed I missed it.

16:20Out at Mission Beach. Are you really, Sienna? I know. Are you bummed that you missed it? I'm totally bummed. Now, this happens to where? Mission Bay? Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay, in case you didn't know, there were more than 4,000 people that turned out to Floatopia. Floatopia was... Inner tube upon inner tube, tied together out in the water. The rule is, now you know you can't drink on the bay, on the sand, on the beach, nothing. As long as your feet are not touching the sand, you can be drinking, which is why they're floating. Just do headstands all day. This is why they were all floating, 4,000 people. They had so many lifeguards, cops all there patrolling, and everyone was just getting boozy. This was the whole point of the day. And how pretty was this? Saturday, too. It was a beautiful day outside. It was in their favor. Oh, and I bet the water was just the perfect temperature. Ew, ew. Don't swim in the back. It's so gross, like, right? They couldn't get in the water, right? They just had to stay in the floor. Oh, I'm sure they did. No, they got in the water. I'm sure they did. There were people on those paddle boards, you know, those, like, huge-looking surfboards that you stand on and you paddle. I'm sure the pollution level went, like, quadruple where it was with all the human excrement. Gross. Okay. Ew.

17:36I think we could have figured out why it would have been bad. Well, there was a lot of trash also left behind. Yes. People that were for the no drinking on the beach were like, look at all that trash that was left. I know. It was a party chill out. That's what happens. Did anybody get hurt because of the drinking? Twelve people had to be rescued. Of course. Weird. Weird. Two were taken to the hospital. That's like fun. There were 30 citations issued. And two people were taken to jail for public intoxication. Why did we miss it? That's it? Yes. Only two. Two? Imagine, though, the lifeguard that had to wade through all of the floats to get to the people that were in trouble. I know. It had to be, like, some sort of danger zone. Dear diary, great day today. Had a blast. Why are you so anti-like? Why are you out on it? Have a little fun. Those statistics sound like a party. It was. I'm like, oh, my gosh. I'm naked with my laptop in bed. There's a deal in Texas called the Guadalupe River. Jay probably knows what I'm talking about. Oh, best river ever. The most fun I've ever had. It's me and 10 dudes. We tie our tubes together. There's tubes for our cases of beer. And we float the river for like six hours. There are cooler floaties. We had such a blast. We put it back in the cooler. Okay, good. We drank the beers and put them back in the cooler.

18:56It was a blast. At 39 years of age, that sounds to me like filming an episode of the real world. I did that on Fourth of July when you could drink on the beach here. We would get all the inner tubes and floaties and shammus and stuff and tie them all together out in the water past the waves. We would anchor them out. And then we would have floating coolers. People would be swimming out more beers and stuff. I wouldn't do it in the ocean because that would scare the crap out of me. But we have a lake house, too, so we do that at the lake. All summer. That's our bit. We lay on rafts and just pound beers and have a great time. There'd be people trying to swim out with a cigarette in their mouth. That's your boy. Good luck with that. He's all the way out on it. It's like the real world to me. Like I'm coming out of my skin with the, I'm like, all of that sounds great. And then I picture like the drama. That's what all I can picture from it is the drama. First of all, it's outside. Stop being such a dad, Mike. It's hot. The water's nasty and cold. It's gross. I don't drink. Cold. I don't drink. Forget that. Even if I did, I'm like, I'm going. Even if you drank, you wouldn't go. This is what I picture. Oh, this is what I picture. I picture this girl. I picture the girl that's mad and like on the beach with a cigarette and drunk afterwards. And she's like, where did Steve go? Where is Steve? I hate you.

20:19I'm like, oh, my gosh. I can't buy that. Shoot me. Shoot me. See, the only downside for me is I just immediately think, oh, what a bad sunburn I would get. Crowds. I don't like crowds. See, I think crowds and trash. And trash. Oh, so much litter. Filthy trash. By the way, I think they have every right in the world to do it. Knock yourself out and everything. I'm just like, oh my goodness. I just picture the real world and drama and the music that they would add to the... Jello shots on my float. What, dude? You want some of this? You want some of this? It's my girlfriend, bro. It's my girlfriend. You're the boss. You're the boss, man. That's my girlfriend, dude. Don't look at her. Check out my girlfriend. She's hot. Hey, dude, you want some of this? I think her top fell off a few minutes ago. That's it. Well, it made national headlines, and there were so many spring breakers in town that I'm sure next year it's going to be doubled. It's going to be enormous. It's going to be crazy. I'll be there. I saw so many spring breakers in town this weekend. I didn't really. I don't know. I guess I didn't. Did you go to the beach?

21:36No, I didn't go to the beach. I love that it's called Floatopia. Uh, guess what? Yeah, you know it. Sienna's picking music today. Get ready. Warren G. Jam. Regulators, you know what I'm saying? What's up, girl? Yeah, dog. I had to load a bunch of the non-explicit versions of music. Yeah, that took you 18 hours, I bet. It's like, oh, whoops, gotta get this one, too. How do you think? Everybody likes this song. Yeah. It's a jam. Everyone's bobbing their head right now. How could you not? Hey, listen. If you haven't heard, all of the Tiger Woods stuff is out there, and we're going to break it down next. Tiger Woods was interviewed by ESPN and the Golf Channel, and we've got both interviews. We're going to be going over them.

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28:07Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Centrum Silver Ultra Women's Multivitamins. Centrum Silver Ultra Women's, the complete multivitamin, scientifically advanced and specifically formulated for women over 50. Learn more, visit our website at centrum.com. A few things going on out there in the San Diego commute. We go to 5 northbound at the Border Patrol checkpoint. We do have a two-car crash there. Looks like it is blocking the right lane, so definitely plan ahead for some slow-and-go traffic there. Also, earlier crash in Oceanside 5 northbound now cleared. This happened before the nuclear plant traffic. Also brought to you by Nissan. Get quality now. Get savings now. The Nissan Now sales event ends March 31st. Get to a Nissan dealer now for the best deals ever. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9. Now, more of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. I love this song. This is one of those albums. I don't know why I had this album. I don't know. I had it on cassette. Phenomenal, that's why. I didn't buy it, but I loved it. I had it, and I don't remember where. There's a few cassette tapes that I had when I was a teen.

29:54That I don't remember where they came from, but they were in my possession? I know where they came from. Where? The tape a penny on the card and send it in to BMG and get 12 free cassettes for one penny. You just brought back the greatest memories ever. Yeah, and then get billed $27.99 for every tape thereafter. And never pay it. Yeah. Ever. Good luck with that. Ever. I guess I did that too, huh? I've done it a thousand times. What? You guys didn't get haunted by the collecting agencies? You moved. Oh, I got the collecting agencies. After me. You're not going to mess my credit up anymore. We were all so dumb to be like, really? That is so awesome. I get 950 cassette tapes and I only have to buy three in the next three years. It's really great. I wonder how they, I don't even care how they do it. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. Where's the dotted line? That's right. There's a dude right now that used to run Columbia House sitting in an insane asylum right now going. They owe me $400 billion and I never saw a nickel of it. That's awesome. He's beating his head against the wall. Like, why did I open this company? It was such a good model. Such a good model. John Columbia? Yeah, John Columbia. 12 for a penny. Who's not going to do that? That's right. And what was the ridiculousness of actually taping the penny? Really? Who was that person at headquarters? I know.

31:18See, it has no idea what we're talking about. Taking their daily, taking their truckload of copper to where? You know, like Fort Knox to turn it. Smelt this, will you? Smelt this down. While you're at it, scrape those wishing wells. All right. So we got a lot of Tiger Woods audio we got to do. So let's do it. Tiger Woods did an interview with ESPN and Golf, the Golf Channel, right? Here's the ESPN. What's the difference? between the man who left Augusta National a year ago and the one who's about to return. A lot has transpired in my life. A lot of ugly things have happened. Things that I've done some pretty bad things in my life and all came to a head. But now, after treatment, going for inpatient treatment for 45 days and more outpatient treatment, I'm getting back to my old roots. I'm going to give you an observation.

32:20The observation I made as I was watching it was, and has anyone else here on the show, me, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna, Jay, has anyone else actually seen this? No. Nope. You guys haven't seen it? Yeah, I watched it last night. His eyes, I saw like a little clip on the news, but his eyes looked really puffy like he had been crying, I noticed. That was my observation. Yeah. It looked like he'd been crying. Different. He looked way upset. Upset and different. Different. Not what we're used to seeing him look like. He's broken. Yeah, that's what it looked like. Looked like he's broken. More outpatient treatment. I'm getting back to my old roots. For a lot of people, the spark of those bad things is November 27th. Early that day, what happened? Well, it's on a police report. Beyond that, everything's between Elin and myself, and that's private. How do you feel about it? 100% agree. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. See, for me, Tiger didn't have to say anything he doesn't want to. It's his business. It's none of my business. I mean, if he wants to answer it, cool, I'll listen. Like, I'm a human being, too. I'm interested to know every little detail about it. How would you not be? But he's allowed to talk about whatever he wants to talk about. He can say whatever he wants. You lose control of the car. As I said, that's between Elon and myself. Oh, boy.

33:49if it's a private you didn't like that one woodsy i i it's not that i don't like it i just think it's uh sometimes not saying anything is a lot more telling than actually saying you know what dude we got in a fight and i lost control of the car you know she was like mad obviously she was mad and i was upset and i lost control of the car and i banged into a tree but by saying that's between the two of us that's very it keeps it it keeps the people wanting wanting more you can pretty much disarm it right there Yeah, and he could have deferred back to the whole police report. Yeah, check the police report, man. It's in there. I think if he says, if he answers that question, then there's a follow-up. No, for sure. If he answers it, if he's like, you know, so what happened when you get, well, we were blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and the guy's going to leave it at that? Oh, was she abusive? Were you abusive? Yeah, there you go. You're right. No, you're right. I think it's just any time, for me, in an interview, if somebody's like, I'm not going to comment on that. I'm not going to comment on that. It just kind of skeeves me out a little bit more. But saying, did you lose control of the vehicle? That's a very legitimate question for a police officer to ask. So that's not necessarily between him and Eland. I mean, that's pertinent to the details of the accident. Sure. Right. And if it's in the police report, which I'd love to see, it'd be phenomenal. But it's just some more matter. Why issue a public apology? I owe a lot of people an apology. I heard a lot of people, not just my wife.

35:12My friends, my colleagues, the public, kids who looked up to me. There were a lot of people that thought I was a different person. And my actions were not according to that. And that's why I had to apologize. I was so sorry for what I've done. You said you've made transgressions. How would you, in your own words, describe the depth of your infidelity? Well, just one is enough. And obviously that wasn't the case. I made my mistakes. And as I said, I've hurt so many people. And so many people I happen to make amends to. And that's living a life of amends. You said you were in treatment. The simple question is, for what? Well, that's a private matter as well. But I can tell you what, it was tough. It was really tough. To look at yourself in a light that you never want to look at yourself, that's pretty brutal. One thing I'll say, man, is that he sounds a lot more sincere than he did during the statement. And my hat's off to the guy. I mean, originally in the press conference, I wasn't really on board because I said it just sounds so canned and it sounds very prepared. This sounds a little bit canned, but I think you can genuinely hear some remorse in his voice. And I know he's excited to get it behind him.

36:38You know, I don't think it'll ever be behind him, but he sounds a lot better. I've always felt like America likes to root for somebody coming back. They love the second chance guy, man. They really, really do. So if he proves himself to his wife and he comes back and there's no more shenanigans, I think everybody will be behind him. Absolutely. And I said that before. I mean, what he needs to be to us more than anything in the public eye is a good golfer. Yeah. You know, and he's amazing. you know, his reappearance at the Masters than anything. And it's awesome to see him owning up to this because a lot of people in his position would not just say no comment or they might just deny it all outright. Yeah. But I think, yeah, I think that should that his personal life should all come secondary to what he does in Augusta. So question, Lauren. Yes. Lauren has said on the air that in her in your past, you've had dudes that have cheated on you. So how does this. Apologies sit with you. How do you feel about him and that part of it? Well, I had one of those we were on a break cheats. Yeah. But yeah, I never got past it. We were on a break. All guys use that bit. Yeah. Wait a minute. We were on a break. Excuse me. Can I ask a question about that? Not to get too sidetracked here. Yeah.

38:02Is it break when you're broken up? Yes. Yeah. Well, then what are you talking about? That's not a cheat. Well, it was an ellipsis. It was a... Really? It was a, let's just, let's take some time. I need to sort things out. You need to sort things out. Let's reconvene. I need to find another girl. I need to go slay something else. Meanwhile, we're going to talk all the time. We're going to act like we're together. And then we're eventually going to get... I don't think that's cheating at all. I don't either because I think that a break implies that we're not together. Well, that's why there's quotation marks around the cheating. Yeah, women, I think, feel very differently about a break than men feel about a break. 100%. Well, and then when you get back together and there's no divulging of the alleged... Of course not. None of your business. Why would you need to talk about it? None of your business. Don't ask, don't tell. Exactly. None of your business. There's reasons I won't discuss on air that you need to know. Lauren is going to be like, Lauren, I think we all figured that one out. Safety issues. Yeah, I think we all figured that one out. And that must be what you say, right? You're like, well, just for safety issues, I need to ask a couple of questions here. Actually, Mike, you know me, and that is. I've said that before, too. And what it really means is, I just want to know. And I'm going to use this as a way to ask you. But just being prudent.

39:25Can we just talk about it? Because you know, too, if they said yes, you'd be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Get out of my face. Get out of my face. Hold on a second. You just asked me if I slept with somebody else. I did. I'm glad you asked. I did use protection. And I did use protection. All 900 times. I'm good to go. All 900. I mean, I'm not irresponsible. With all four women, I want you to know that I used protection. Well, when you, okay. So when the break happens and you say, is there somebody else? do you want to date somebody else? And the answer is no, no, no, no, no. And then you get back together and it turns out there is somebody else. That's pertinent. Again, I'll use the word pertinent. Well, if there was somebody else, it was probably used as a time filler, dude. What's that? It was probably just used as a time filler while you needed your space. But I'm saying it's ammo that you should be equipped with, not only for safety reasons, but also do I want to date this person if they said it wasn't somebody else? Clearly, they wanted to test the waters a little bit. If Tiger and Elon were on a break, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Exactly. If they were separated and he was out running through these hood rats that he was running through, we wouldn't even, we'd be like, great, hope he does well at the Masters. But anyway, let's say that I weren't on a break with this. This man. This past person. Yeah. Cheating is a real big deal breaker for me.

40:48You'd be out. If you were Ely, you were out. I would be out. That $100 million in his pocket, you had nothing to do with it, you're out. I wouldn't care. I'm kind of blown away that she's still there. Well, she's got kids, too. Yeah, that's true. That is true, man. I don't have kids, so I can't speak from that. But I would want to be like, Steph, you're sorry. He's in a sack, mister. Lauren, but there were like adult film actresses. That's different. Why is that different? Safety reasons, number one. You mean worse? Yeah, that's way worse. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, for sure. I thought you were going to be like, it doesn't count. No. I mean, dude, that's way worse. Right. Like, how does Elan look at him and go, really? Really? Like, I would just want to punch him in the face every day. Yeah. Kids or no kids. I wouldn't want my kids to see how much I hated my husband. I tell you, that poor bastard's better off. She should give him a would you rather. Would you rather me punch you in the face? Yeah. Or hit you with your nine in your shin. You have a choice. Brace yourself. Brace yourself. You have a choice. And you know what? If you'd like, we could pick a different iron. Yeah. If you don't want the nine, just a two iron blade across the kneecap. Okay, I'll use the putter. Fine, the putter. If somebody said to Tiger Woods, Tiger, we're going to take a nine to your shin, but...

42:05All of this goes away. It never happened. He'd say use four. 100 per cent. Do it to my face. Do it to my face. It never happened. He would let John Daly set him up 10 yards away and drive golf balls into his chest. He would. I would. Any of us would. You're like, this is going to sting for a minute, but all this is gone. Done. I saw a person that I never thought I would ever become. Who was that? Well, I've gotten away from my core values, as I said earlier. Again, man, I know that what he did was atrocious. I always feel terrible for people that can't get out of their own way. I feel bad for people that do stuff that affects them in such a way that affects the rest of their life, affects others around them. And there are people that are, myself included. Myself included. That are wired to self-destruct, Lauren. And I'll tell you what, for Elan, whether she stays with him or not, he has ruined her trust level. Forever. At least, yeah, at least for a while. I'm just sitting here listening to this, and I'm thinking, I'm trying to listen to the words he's saying, but I just don't care anymore. I think that this is all unnecessary. I can't believe he's even doing this again. He had to, though, don't you think? No, I don't think so. I think he had to, and he did issue his first public apology. He hadn't answered any questions, though. It doesn't matter. He doesn't need to.

43:31Why do we care? He said he's sorry. He said more than he needed to the first time. This is all just beating a dead horse. Like, I understand he's not going into any more detail. Yeah, he's answering questions, but he's not releasing anything else. He goes into a little more detail. But it's like, it's none of our business. He apologized. We know all the things he did already. I'm kind of with that. Why else do we need to hear this? I would have been okay if he hadn't done it. It's obvious why he's doing it. It's obvious why he's doing it. What are the odds that the PR people behind the Masters are like, speak, speak. I mean, dude, he's playing in the freaking Masters. That's why he's talking. I just think he already did it one time. There's more than enough. Let the guy just move on. It's not us. Whether we're behind him or not, we're behind him or we're not. I don't think people are going to change their minds if he talks a million times. I think either we forgive him or we don't. I agree. I do too, but I think this is part of rebuilding his image. And the more you see and hear him being contrite, the better, the more you're going to, I like the guy now and I never liked him before. And I'm like, I can't wait to see him get on the first tee at Augusta. Cannot wait. Well, I think people are, by doing this interview, it's like, hate him or love him. We want to see how he does. Oh, yeah. For sure. It keeps doing this weird thing.

44:49Because it's all on ESPN, and it keeps doing this weird thing where if I don't play it every two seconds, it goes away. The commercials come back up. Yeah. 15 seconds. I hate that. It drives me crazy. And we get it with the commercial anyway. Let's take a poll right now. I think it's April 4th or 5th. Tiger, they announce his name. He gets on the first tee. What is the reaction? Silence. No way. I think people will applaud. I say it's the biggest ovation you've ever... ever heard at Augusta. I thought you had to be silent during golf. No, not when they say from Stanford, California, Tiger Woods. It's going to sound like the Super Bowl. I think it's going to sound like the Super Bowl. Can't boo, right? No. They'll kick you out. They'll boot you at Augusta. But I think it's going to be like... And after that first drive, when he hits that ball down the middle of the fairway, the place is going to go... Nuts. I think that's when the plot will come, after his first hit, yeah. Because isn't there a part of all of us that go, isn't there a part of all of us that go, wow, I've messed up in my life, and yeah, he messed up really bad, and now that he's admitted it and said all that he can say about it, and like, now I want him to be a good dude. Yep.

46:12I want to watch him. Remember what a train wreck she was? It happens, dude. She went on tour. It was sold out. Her fans had her back. You want to root. I'm rooting for the guy. I never liked him. Now I'm rooting for him. It's so weird. Even people that aren't fans are now like, okay, you owned it. Go get him, kid. Go ahead. Sorry, if he was a public speaker on marriage or like... Just how to be a righteous man. Right. I don't know. Jimmy Swagger. I don't know if the second chance would come around. Yeah. Yeah. This isn't exactly directly correlated to how the guy can play golf. Yeah. But we all know that we're talking about him. It's like there's been very little golf talk with all of us. I mean, it's all about Tiger. Yeah. And that's why I had to apologize. I was so sorry for what I've done. You said you've made transgressions. How would you, in your own words, describe the depth of your infidelity? Well, just one is enough. Yeah, and what are you supposed to say? See, it's like, it was deep. It was really deep. I thought that too. It was messed up. It's like, dude, it's just like, stop digging. They're like constantly punching him in the face. Is it possible that he goes, you know, not very deep, actually? Not very deep. I think he was fishing for numbers.

47:29Dozens. But that's what I mean. It's like... Sienna, you're thinking he's being attacked. He's not being attacked. This is all him. No, I understand. I don't think he's being attacked. I just think this is all unnecessary. I agree. I agree. But for Tiger Woods, it's necessary. Like, Tiger has to do this. But he already did it. Are you, Sienna, interested? Because I agree with you 100%. And then I'm also like, ask him something else. Yeah. Okay, trust me. I was getting the news together last night and I came across this story. I didn't know if I was going to be talking about it in the news or if Woods was going to be talking about it in sports. I had a paper which I handed to Woods this morning. I did not read one question. Not interested? Honest to God truth, I did not read one question because I don't care anymore. Is it one of these two, Sienna? Is it a deal where you're like...

48:20You thought in your head, I'm not going to hear anything I haven't already heard. Yeah, but I don't even care if I do. But that's the deal. I mean, here's the deal. I saw that video last night. We were sitting down to watch a movie, and I go, oh, my God, hold on. I got to watch this video. And she's like, my wife's like, really? And I'm like, I have to watch this video. I've got to see what he says. See, and I used to do, like, my jobs at other stations were doing gossip. Like, I used, you know, that's what I would talk about. I loved it. But it's like. Dude, this is not going to affect my life. Is it gossip or is it news? This is gossip to me. That's news. How many people he slept with? Like, who cares? Oh, yeah, yeah, that. I think that that is. But I also think that it's relevant. Like, it is relevant. No, I think that the overall thing is relevant. But I think each of these little details that they're asking now, it's just like, man, I just think we already know how bad it is and it's bad. And is it worse than we think? Probably. Like, I just, you know. It's not done by a long shot. I'm not a Tiger Woods fan. I wasn't before. I don't really care about golf. But this whole thing has gotten so blown out of proportion. To me, I think the exact opposite. Because this is numero uno. Tiger was here. Everybody else was. I mean, Peyton Manning. Yeah, he's great. He's no Tiger Woods.

49:39Tom Brady is great. He's no Tiger Woods. Tiger transcended sports. 100%. Tiger transcended everything. I mean, he was, he was, it's Tiger Woods. Now, if this was Jeff Maggart or Jeff Sluman or Freddie Couples, it would be one day I would say the word and that would be it. This is Tiger Woods. I'm somewhere. right in the middle between sienna and woods because part of me doesn't care but part of me is like yeah he has to do this and i think if nothing else it's the most we've ever heard him speak i know and i think that's what's interesting to people we've never heard him speak that much and even when we did hear him speak even close to that it wasn't candid it was robotic so this is just an interesting whoa like this guy's so shy i've never even heard him say much before and now he's divulging so much about his personal life. That's pretty brutal. What did you see? I saw a person that I never thought I would ever become. Who was that? Well, I got away from my core values, as I said earlier. I got away from my Buddhism. And I quit meditating. I quit doing all the things that my mom and dad had taught me. And as I said earlier in my statement, I felt entitled. And that is not how I was raised. Why not seek treatment before all of this came out?

50:56I didn't know I was that bad. I didn't know I was that bad. I was living a lot. How did you learn that? How did you learn that? I got caught. Yeah, I got caught. Yeah, have you seen television the last four months? See, that's more than he said. Like, that is pretty revealing. See, I don't think so. Three times right there, he just said, like I said in my statement, as I've said before. But what he just said just now, when he goes, oh, I didn't really know I had a problem. How did you not know you had a problem? I mean, what he should have said was, oh, I got caught. Obviously. You know? Stripping away denial. rationalization you strip all that away and you find the truth how do you reconcile your behavior with your view of marriage what's he gonna say sienna how do you reconcile your behavior with your view of marriage yeah what's he gonna say i think i don't know that's worded funny but i think that he's gonna say it's you know that's gonna stay between elon and i but he'll say that what i did is unforgivable and she's gonna work through it with me and hopefully we'll be able to you know Reach an agreement. This is where I think that Sienna has a point, is that every question that's answered, I kind of feel like there's no way in the world we don't know what it's going to be. We know exactly. Us living a life in the men's. That's us working at it each and every day. Given all that's happened, what's your measure of success at Augusta? Woods, what will he say? Get out there and compete. Well, playing is one thing.

52:28I'm excited to get back and play. I'm excited to get to see the guys again. I really missed a lot of my friends out there. That's the thing that, to me, really hit home in this interview. I really missed the guys. The word around golf is that that dude has been the biggest a-hole out there. Wasn't friendly with him. He has like one friend on tour. just wasn't a good dude. You look at guys like Derek Cheater, like Peyton Manning, Tom Brady. These are team guys. Tiger was a Tiger guy. I think he comes back now and is like, dude, I play a game for a living. I'm going to enjoy this a little bit more and maybe try to build some camaraderie and friendships on the tour. I do think that with that last question he asked about the tour or the games or whatever. I don't speak golf. I think that that stuff is important. I think that, look, this is a golf channel interviewing you. They should be asking about, what do you think coming back? You're coming back. How do you feel? You know, stuff like that. Okay. Not stuff about his wife. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it has to be brought up, but maybe not like. I mean, we report on freaking.

53:37John and Kate plus eight, and we're not going to ask Tiger Woods? But Sienna's right, though. It's a golf channel. No, that's ESPN. It's the worldwide league of sports. John and Kate plus eight, they put themselves, their family, on reality television and had cameras following their every move. Tiger's on reality television every week. Tiger Woods, to play golf. Right. Not to talk about his family. Yeah, he didn't sign up for his personal life. He didn't sign up for people to follow his kids around. Oh, stop. Stop it. You're a pro golfer, dude. Still. I still have a lot more treatment to do. And just because I'm playing doesn't mean I'm going to stop going to treatment. That's good. What reception are you expecting from fans? I don't know. I don't know. I am a little nervous about that, to be honest with you. How much do you care? It would be nice to hear a couple of claps here and there. This is a good question. I also hope they'll also clap for birdies, too. Eleven months ago, here at Iowa, I asked you, how well does the world know you? What's your answer to that now? A lot better now. I was living a life of a lie. I really was. And I was doing a lot of things, as I said, that hurt a lot of people. And stripping away denial and rationalization, you start coming to the truth of who you really are. And that can be very ugly. But then again, when you face it and you start conquering it and you start living up to it, the strength that I feel now, I've never felt that type of strength.

55:04In the last four months, Tiger, what's been the low point? I've had a lot of low points. Just when I didn't think I could get lower, I got lower. An example? Whether I was in treatment, out of treatment, before I went in. I mean, there were so many different low points. People I had to talk and face, like my wife, like my mom. What was that moment like, either one? They both have been brutal. They both have been very tough because I've hurt them the most. The two people in my life who I'm the closest to. And to say the things that I've done truthfully to them is, honestly, was very painful. What was your wife's reaction when you sat down and had that first conversation? She was hurt. She was hurt. Very hurt. Shocked. Angry. And, you know, she had every right to be. And I'm as disappointed as everyone else in my own behavior because I can't believe I actually did that to the people I loved.

56:07All that was was ESPN. They still did another one with Golf Channel where it was actually more in-depth. We also had people calling in about it. You want to give your opinion? 570-1949. Or text us, 949Mikey at gmail.com. Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Credit cards. Once a symbol of status. Now a symbol of imprisonment. As major banks hold their credit card customers hostage. Some quietly accept their fate. Others stand up and choose to take control. My neighbor just got a Mission Fed Visa. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It's how we bank today and tomorrow. Trust, stability, service. With no annual fees and low rates on credit cards. My best friend just got a Mission Fed Visa. More than 20 local branches. Access to 28,000 fee-free ATMs. And now with the Mission Fed Visa card.

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1:02:11Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Advil PM. Spend less time lying awake with annoying aches and pains and more time to sleep with Advil PM. If you're heading through Vista 78 Eastbound at Emerald Drive, watch out there for a ladder in the right lane. Oceanside 5 Northbound at the Border Patrol Checkpoint. We had an earlier two-car crash blocking the right lane. That is now cleared. Traffic also brought to you by the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation. The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation is accelerating the crucial research that represents the hope for a cure. Please call 1-800-533-CURE or go to J.D. pdrf.org today. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. I'll never hear that song the same again. Nor will I. It's a Sienna's wedding song, and I will always remember this at Sienna's wedding. I will always remember Lestat standing in the corner staring at you the whole time. That's right.

1:03:57That's right. You guys, he was part of the band. I don't even know what you're talking about. There was a man. He was with the band. That may be very well true, but he also... He didn't play an industry. He also wanted to consume my blood, okay? He did not. He wanted to wear my skin and drink Mike's blood. Yeah, he was 400 years old. No. He was? Yeah. Long hair. He used to feast on the Civil War guys. It's so funny because so many people came up to me, they're like... Who's that guy over there? Just leaning in the corner, just staring at everybody with his long black hair. There's a guy over there in the corner with his fingernails. We were walking through towards the dance floor and Mikey goes, hey Woods, check out Lestat in the corner. I almost, my knees got weak. What if that was like my cousin? I would have said, why does your cousin look just like Lestat? That's what would have happened. Yeah, exactly. He added to the wedding, okay? That just shows, like, when it's your wedding day, you just don't care. Mom, I want a real vampire at my wedding. Do you not understand? I said I want a vampire. I want a vampire. Okay, fine. Lestat will be in the corner, okay? Do you want him to look like what kind? Do you want Bela Lugosi or do you want more like Lestat? Or do you want more like Edward? I want Lestat. I want Lestat, Mom.

1:05:17Okay, darling, we'll get you Lestat. My mom, the wedding planner, delivered. She was like, darling, you haven't even paid attention to Lestat all night yet. I danced with him. You guys didn't see. About him. Amazing. This really upsets me that we went through all the trouble to call Lestat's R Us and you got him down here and you still haven't even made one comment. We should try to find a picture of him. I bet he's in the background somewhere. Please bring in a picture of Lestat. He's got to be. I missed him. I didn't see him. There's a bunch of pictures on my Facebook. It's one of the funniest things Mikey has ever said. Okay. So, really quickly. Well, we'll get to more of it. We have so much stuff. We'll get to it later. We got more Golf Channel stuff of Tiger. Really, Lauren? Lauren, you pretend it's Obama and you pretend it's Britney Spears. I don't care even if it is Britney Spears. I'm just burnt out on it. I'm just going to tell you the truth right now. I'm not. See, but if you guys aren't, then I'm sure a lot of guys aren't. But it's just like, as a girl, I'm like...

1:06:22Oh, I don't care that much. First time dude has said something. I want to know. Big deal. Like, Mikey texted me, like, all caps, like, oh, my God, he's on TV. I was like, oh, I got to find it. I got to find it. What's he going to say? Your email last name was Tiger in all caps with three exclamation points. And I was like, over it. I think I read it. I was like, whoop-do-do. Not me, pal. You know what? If I had written it in tiny little font that said Tiger question mark and then said, I barely care. Then Lauren would have instantly written back and been like, are you kidding me? We do not care about this. We need to talk about it. This is the greatest thing ever, Mike. We should be talking about it. And you're really missing the boat big time in this one, mister. It was interesting, though. I'll tell you, I didn't know anything about it. I'm just listening to the audio. I enjoyed it. I can't wait for the Masters. I can't wait. I've never been excited for it. And I'm so excited. Yeah, me too. I'm so excited. My wife goes, Who cares? I go, oh, I go, you know what? Honestly, honey, I mean, besides planet Earth, I guess no one.

1:07:28Tell her that it's Edward and Jacob. We should do a poll. Stop it with those references. We should do a poll on the M1 site or something saying, do you care about this? Oh, really? When you phrase it like that, you make the person into a complete dork. Do you even care that Tiger Woods is talking again? Are you a moron and care about this? The way he speaks is really, really entertaining, let me tell you. Come on. All right. So here's the deal. Forrest Gump. There's five people on the Mikey show, by the way. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Woodsy is our sports guy. Lauren is our assistant producer. Sienna is our news girl. And Jay is our producer. And you are an M1. M1s are Mikey show listeners. When you call in. Turn your radio down. Get to the point. Don't cuss. And the number here if you want to call us, 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com if you want to text us. An 80-year-old guy was knocking on his neighbor's door really, really upset. Very, very upset. Why, Sienna? Because someone stole his little Debbie oatmeal cookies. Of course that's right. So what happened was just... I don't blame him, by the way.

1:08:46This 80-year-old guy, this happened in St. Lucie, Florida. Gene Edward Chambers was in the middle of the night. I don't think it's St. Lucie. I asked Woods. Isn't it St. Lucia? I said Lucie, and he said it's Lucy. Yeah, Port St. Lucie. Really? Don't worry about it. I got it. St. Lucie, I'm home. If I'm wrong, blame Woods. All right. Port St. Lucie. Everybody knows that. Come on. Not everybody knows that. Porceluchia. Sorry, it's not in Mexican, dude. Porceluchia. So this eight-year-old guy is in the middle of the night searching his entire house for his oatmeal cookies. Cannot find them anywhere. Says to himself, I just bought seven boxes of these oatmeal cookies. Where the heck are they? I can't find any of them. So you know what he thinks? Light bulb. My neighbors came over here and jacked all seven of my oatmeal cookie boxes. P.O.'d. So what does he do? He goes over to the neighbor's house. He did what any of us would do. Absolutely. Right. He goes over to the neighbor's house, starts knocking calmly first. No answer. I wonder why. Because they were sleeping. Right. So then he gets mad. He goes and he grabs a garden hoe. He took a prostitute over there to knock out a door? No. She said a garden. A gardening hoe. Wow. Like a rake or something like that, right? So he had a girl over. Yeah, exactly. He grabbed this hoe. Martha Stewart.

1:10:07He grabbed the hoe, and he started banging on the door. Give me my Debbie's little Debbie O'Neal cookies. The neighbors wake up. Can I ask you guys a question? Yeah. Does that frighten you? Yes. Why? He's getting a cap busted on him. Wait a minute. You're telling me that an 80-year-old man banging on your front door with a hoe at 2 o'clock in the morning demanding his little Debbie's. I'd shoot both of them. Okay? Him and her. So the neighbors are awakened and very frightened when they call 911. Yeah. I wonder what that 911 call might have sounded like. 911, what's your emergency? Yeah. Hi. Oh, my gosh. My neighbor is trying to break down my door right now. He's got some sort of a garden tool. I don't know. Stay calm, man. What is he using to break in your house? I don't know. I can't tell. I don't know. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Hello? Hello, 911. Where is my cookies? Are you kidding me, sir? Is this a joke? Where is my cookies? Sir, I'm due to get off in a few minutes. It's cookies. Stupid as hell.

1:11:33911. Where is my cookie? Is this the cookie monster? Yes. Cookie. Get a unit out right away, sir. Thank you. That was brilliant. That was brilliant. Well, what happened was... Oh, man. After the 911 call, it was compelling, it was rich. Cutting edge. The deputy came by the house and he went to check out the 80-year-old guy's house, Mr. Chambers' pad. Checked it out. Turns out, Mr. Chambers only bought five boxes of cookies. Oh, Chambers. They were in because he saw the receipt from Walmart that he had only bought five boxes. And all five boxes were in his kitchen. Oh, my God. No way. Chambers. Chambers, the old guy, broke down the door. Their door, he has to replace the door. It doesn't even close or anything. It's ruined.

1:12:37And he was arrested on misdemeanor charge for criminal misdemeanor. Yeah, how's he feeling today? A little embarrassed? A little mortified? He's going to hold a press conference. He's 80 years old. You guys, he's just glad he found his cookies. No doubt. Kidding? He's just glad that he can still go number one. Are those the oatmeal cookies with like the vanilla? Yes, they're the best. They are so good. Dude, I would regulate on my neighbor if they stole my cookies. Thank you. Penny Bell loves those. Little Penny Bell loves those. Yeah, she loves those things. Yeah, my little angel. She's going to get diabetes. Dude, she's got the iron stomach. You don't worry about it. You're not allowed to give Penny Bell sugar, dude. You're going to mess up a little Penny Bell system. Dude, Penny Bell eats bottles of Tums, just like her dad. Penny Bell is like a three-pound teacup poodle. No, she's the big girl. Except probably two pounds lighter than that, though. She's a little Yorkie. A little tiny Yorkie. Yorkie, Yorkie. Hey, Woodsy found a place, by the way. You did? Yeah. Thanks. We think, yeah. It's phenomenal. Way too much house. Way too much house. That's never a problem. Kid gets a man cave though, right? Oh, yes. First thing when we were looking at houses, everywhere we walked in, I was like, yeah, this will do for my office. And Jamie's just looking at me. She's shooting daggers at me. I'm like, what? Get an office, finally. Okay, but does she get to decorate the rest of the house? The whole thing is hers. Anything she wants to do. That's the way it is in my house. So I finally get my first office. So I think we'll find out today if we get it. I might have to have Mikey co-sign. I don't know. We'll figure it out.

1:14:03Oh, my. It's awesome, though. It's awesome. Got to watch Woodsy pitch yesterday. How'd he do? He did great. He really did. I saw some pictures online. There's pictures of it on the Mikey Show fan page. Guy looks like an athlete. I was feeling strong yesterday. I understand you incurred an injury after I left. I'm so bummed, dude. I want to apologize to my teammates because I was really feeling good and I was throwing well. Got through the first two innings, no problem. Struck out four guys in the first two innings. Nice. Was humming right along, and then I pulled my butt muscle. How did you do that? I think, dude, I don't stretch properly, and I lift. You don't, bro. I'm telling you. You don't stretch right. I know. I don't. That's why I told you, man. I'm a stretch therapist. You're all kinds of stuff, dude. Well, why don't you let me help you, dude? No, I got it. I'm going to work. I'll probably take the next week off of pitching and just. concentrate on maybe hitting and playing some D, but... What's a stretch therapist? Two years of stretch school. Yeah? Yeah. Where'd you get the degree from? University of... Stretching. Stretching. Stretch. Sounds legit. Stretch you. Oh, I'll stretch you. I'll stretch you. Oh, yeah, stretch you. The older guy said, hey, man, there's one thing you gotta do, and you can't tell him anything if he's not willing. Yeah, a kid doesn't like to be told what to do. You sure?

1:15:31Yeah, I'm sore. Of course you are. You know what you do for that? What? Dude, you got to dance it off. I'm not dancing it off. No, dude. I'm not dancing it off. Come on, dude. Yeah. Come on, man. This is a slow dance. That's how you do it. That's how you dance it off. No, I just need to stretch. I need some heat and ice. Yeah, I'm going to give you the heat or whatever. I don't need your heat. I don't need body heat. I need real heat. You ever danced it off before? No. Then what do you even know? How about I come over there and I show... Don't act weird. Just try it. It's weird. Come on, man. At this point, dude, if I can last longer than three innings, I think I'll try anything. What did you hurt anyway? My butt. My butt. Oh, that's perfect. If you look at the pictures that Mikey slash Frankie took, you can see my knee is almost touching my chin. So I'm lifting my leg way too high. And I pulled my butt muscle. Mitch Williams. Yeah. A little wild thing. Wild thing. Thing is, I wasn't wild until I hurt my butt muscle. You need some Bengay. Mm-hmm. That stuff works. It does. You got to put Bengay on there. Do you have some? Always. Of course. Stretch therapist. Of course. Stretch school. Comes prepared. So it hurts. It hurts, dude. There it is.

1:16:46Just took the cap off. You want some? No. It smells, dude. It smells nice. It smells great, right? It smells like eucalyptus. Yeah, that's the smell of healing, dude. Rub it on it? What? No, hell no, dude. No? It's my butt muscle. You don't rub it on my butt. I'll rub it on my butt muscle. He's licensed. I'm a licensed stretch therapist, bro. You should have seen me in between innings taking my pants down and rubbing cream on my butt. I did, dude. I think he did see that, yeah. You could have used a hand. You can't get all the way back there. I'm glad. that those pictures aren't on Facebook. Yeah. You got one more chance to dance. No way, I'm not dancing at all. Okay, fine. Try to dance it out. You know what, then? Keep hurting. Big baby. I could barely walk. Yeah, I could get you playing again today if you just dance it off. I don't have a game until next Sunday. You got to dance it off. Don't you get your fists in there real good? You got to get your elbow in there, O'Brien. You get the elbow. You're not using your fish on my butt. No, start it out. Like, knead it? You gotta, like, knead it like bread? I knead it, yeah. He needs it. You need me, I need you. I don't need, no. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I thought it sounded odd. Sorry. Hey, listen, calling me embarrassed. You take your Bengay and get, dude. Need, K-N-E-A-D. He's trying to help you. No, take your Bengay and get. You want me to put some Bengay on you? No. Fine.

1:18:09Use your Bengay on yourself, pal. All right. Why are you being like that? Yeah, why are you being so... Because I'm grouchy. We tied. We tied. And I'm sore. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. Absolutely. No kidding, man. I'm over here offering my dance-off skills. And you're stretching skills. I'm out. Frankie, I think you're being cool about it. Yeah, I do too. You're just being a baby. Yeah, I do too. And somebody's, like, not appreciative of it. Well, you embarrassed me yesterday. You were sitting on the dugout. Your little legs were dangling over the dugout while we were trying to play ball taking pictures. I was embarrassed. Yeah, dude, you want to know what else I'm a little irritated about? What? Yeah, somebody didn't show up to Floatopia. No, I didn't go. I had my wife's in town. We had to find a house. Did you go? Yeah, I was there. I invited Woods. I had my float. I didn't want to get on your Hello Kitty float, dude. What's the matter with it? It's very girlish. Did you have a Hello Kitty float? Yeah. Frankie, where'd you get that? At the store. Toys R Us or something? Yeah, I got it at Toys R Us. Little girl section? I think so. I don't know. It's not like I have a photographic memory, you know. I don't know where I buy everything. What kind of trunks were you sporting there? I had Speedos on. Frankie, no. Yeah, you're the only one. Frankie, yes. No, Frankie, you can't wear a Speedo. Frankie says relax, man. Are you going to pull that bit now? Yeah, maybe I am. Because, you know, somebody needs to loosen. I'll come over there.

1:19:36No. Yes. Come on. You need to have a good stretch. Get in there. Just loosen up. Nope. Dance it off. No, I'm not dancing. Dance it out. Listen to Spandau Ballet. I can't believe you like them. You should do a nice stretching to this if you're not going to dance, at least. Why don't we do... There you go. There you go. He's getting into it. Eighth grade. We dance it off and then we'll go look at girls. No. My wife's in town, dude. I can't go look at girls. Oh, that's right. When's she leaving? Tomorrow. How do I look at my uniform? Your uniform look good? I got one comment about that uniform. That's part of the problem. That's why your form is so messed up, bro. Your pants are too baggy. Really? Three sizes too big, dude. Dude, I don't want to paint those on. Bro, I'm telling you, you want to get the form a little bit better, you need to get some smaller pants. Tighter pants is what you're saying. Yeah, they're three sizes too small, like the kind I got.

1:20:42I get them from Baby Gap. You know what I mean? Maybe you should go with Woods and make sure they fit right in all the right places. No way. I'm comfortable with mine. Dude, he's a stretchologist. Who he is, bro. Who he is. Stretch school. I feel comfortable. I'm going to get it figured out. Brewers, I'll get it figured out. You don't have to plug the name of the team, dude. I noticed how you did that. Talking to my boys that are listening. I know that. I talked to him yesterday. I know you did. Embarrass me. I didn't embarrass you. Your little shaved hairless legs were dangling over our dugout. And I was, yeah, maybe they were, but what was I saying? I was going, go double douche, dude. What? Number 22. What did you say? Double what? Double douche. I didn't hear deuce. Let's do this, double douche. You're hot. No. You're hot. It's double deuce, Frankie. Every time he threw the ball, man, I was like, hey, Woods, you're hot. You're so hot, Woods. You know who else is hot, Frankie boy? What? You be hot. Yeah, you are. Stop it. Yeah, you are. Keep me alone. Come here, little Frankie boy. Don't do that. Yeah, with your little hairless legs. Don't touch me. I love the hairless legs. I know you do. I'm just telling you. Come here. Let me just get a second. Don't touch him. Don't. Frank. Don't. Don't.

1:22:06I got some Bengay. Give me that Bengay. Come here. It tingles. It tingles. Frankie, that's a hot lead, dude. You scream like a girl. He does. He does. That's how I scream, man. Come on, it tingles. Come here, let me. Let me let it. Call it, what's up, baby? Come on, relax. I don't like it when you touch me like that. Oh, who wouldn't like that? Come on. Frankie, you need to close that deal, dude. Freaks me out, bro. It's just she's too aggressive with me. Oh, she's aggressive. I can back it off. Back it off like the Cleveland. You know what I mean? Cleveland? Don't touch me with that. I don't want it. Come here. Stop with the hair. You'll like it. Don't touch my hair. Come on, you'll like it. All right, Frankie. Take it easy, dude. You freak out over it, right? Freaked out. Oh, yeah.

1:23:09You got Sienna picking the music today, little Dre. I like to mix it up. That's right. Nothing but a G thing. It's the clean version, don't worry. Hey, if you have ever done something really humiliating in sports, call us, 5701949. Every Sunday. Pulling your butt muscle? Pulling your butt muscle? You mean like a spectator like Frankie or a player like Woods? I mean like a person that's playing. Somebody that's actually playing. Call us. I want to hear about it. Oh, by the way, I got 10 places you shouldn't be using your debit card. It's going to freak you out. Perfect. Next. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9.

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1:28:55for good call 800-722-5593 800-722-5593 again that's 800-722-5593 make sure your low fares stay low to st louis with no bag fees from southwest airlines grab your bag it's on non-stop from san diego to st louis starting may 9th book your non-stop flights to st louis now at southwest.com weight and size limits apply Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Sears Auto Centers. Visit the Sears Automotive Center for the best price on all your car needs. Bring on any competitor's offer and Sears will match it. Guaranteed. Visit SearsAuto.com for more great offers. Sears, life well spent. Encinitas 5 southbound before Encinitas Boulevard. Two car crash blocking two left lanes. It looks like one of the cars spun out and collided with the center divide. 8 westbound before Crestwood Road. Watch out there for a crash involving an overturned box truck. Traffic also brought to you by Preparation H maximum strength. Cream. Preparation H Maximum Strength Cream for burning, itching, plus pain relief on contact. It's the most complete relief from Preparation H. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's happening? This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Monday morning brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate. Start today off right. Have a nice warm cup.

1:30:17Start the half good in the middle of the day by having a cool cup. Why are keys to stuff? Surf-wise today, looking at a combination of some old southwest, west, northwest wind swell with traces of a new southwest. It is expected to fill in stronger throughout the day. Things are being hindered by morning low tides, too, so it's hurting size and shape. Nonetheless, most spots are seeing ways to chest high waves, shoulder high as the standout spots, with size to increase more throughout the day as the tide pushes back up and that new swell fills in. Kind of section A walled up to the beach breaks right now, but that will improve. And the reef breaks are looking kind of broken up and peaky, too. Not a real good focus on them yet. But, again, they should also improve throughout the day. Clean conditions, hazy overcast skies, but for the most part, calm winds. So lots of potential today. Let's see how it lays out. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out when it's South Coast Surfshops 5 locations or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If I like rock music and you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. Woods. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. Lauren. I like looking at boobs. Sienna. I can hit some mean wiffle balls in our yard. And Jay. I can make 100 hush puppies in like 30 seconds. On FM 94.9.

1:31:49Sienna is picking the music today. What is it? It's a song called When I Look at You. She's laughing at it. You like it though, right? I really like it, but it's going to start off and you guys are going to make fun, but just give it a sec. No, we won't make fun. Yes, you will. Everybody needs inspiration. Cindy Lauper? No. Everybody needs a soul. Maybe. The chorus is really good. This is like the new one. I'm sure I'll like it. I'm telling you. It's poppy. I like stuff that tastes good in my ears. Her voice is getting better. I'm going to give her that. It's probably auto-tune. It's probably auto-tune, but I have no problems with that. Here it comes. Love it. You do? Instantly. I do. Instantly. I love any kind of music that I go, oh, that's a hit. I love it. I love hits. Is Simon Cowell over there? I grew up listening to my brother's music, which was Journey, and it was all hits. Can you get a tampon, dude? Really? Yeah, really. All I'm saying to you is... Can I get you one? You're saying that... Lauren, do you have an extra one? Give Mikey a tampon. Immediately. All he's going to... He'll say that. He's a man for admitting that. Listen, Woodsy will say that, and then you know what he'll do? He'll get in his car, and he'll secretly and clandestinely listen to...

1:33:17Embarrassing music. And then he'll waltz back in here. He'll look at Hillary and he'll be like, hey, have you heard the new one from this, you know, Jubilee Doobly Doos? I can attest to that, Mikey. See, that's the TomTom girl that's in Woodsy's vehicle. He listens to really ridiculous music, right? Kit. You wound up for that, Kit. I wound up for that one. I am a fan of Miley. I'm going to say that. I'll tell you, I saw when I went to see Crazy Heart the other day, which is one of the greatest movies I've ever seen, there was a preview for a Miley Cyrus movie. The last song, I know. Yeah, I wanted to rip my throat out with my bare hands. I'm going to go see it. She looks like she's 50. No, she doesn't. Oh, my God. She looks so haggard. I expect her to ride up on a Harley with a leather vest and a bag of meth in her pocket. You are a mean person. I'm sorry, but did they use the munchkin effect on this? What's up with that voice? Listen, it's beautiful. It's great. I love it. That throaty one sounds better than the...

1:34:23Hey, Lauren, it's my decision. Don't make fun. People say that she sounds like me. Do they? Who are people? Who are people? People say she sounds like me. People.net. My neighbor told me, gosh, you look and sound like me. Sienna. No. It's like me saying, I look and sound like Jude Law. I'm not the one that said it. I'm not the one that said it. But you're strawberry blonde. So you just compared Miley Cyrus to someone that was really good looking. No, she's haggard, honey. She's haggard. I'm not saying she's, like, beautiful. I don't think Santa is better looking than Santa. Absolutely. Like, night and day. She has a little bit of the raspiness going on. I've never heard her talking voice, but that singing is not... Well, I disagree with Woodsy. I don't think that she looks haggard. I think she's a lovely young girl. I think she's lovely. When she speaks. She's probably got a sex tape already. When she speaks. Lauren, if you're going to nod your head to him, yes. No, she doesn't have a sex tape. Thank you. She had revealing photos, sexting messages. It was on Vanity Fair. Somewhere. The deal is that when she speaks, she sounds like she's an older woman. Really? Yeah. I'm going to find a clip of it. Hey, Mikey, have you seen my new movie? No, I haven't. I haven't. It's brilliant.

1:35:41She has a really hot new boyfriend. I'll give her that. I have to admit, I like Party in the USA. I do, too. I almost put that on there instead, but... I have to admit it. So it was. I didn't know Smiley said it. No, I don't. I don't. I admit to a lot of girly stuff. I'm not admitting to that. You might not admit to it. No, it's not true. I believe that in your private time, if you listen to it, you would actually really like it a lot. Maybe I'll cover it on the acoustic at a gig. You can turn it... Like, into a really cool song. Could be. The lyrics are cool. Lately, he's been racking out to the new Adam Lambert song in his car. I like that one, too. Adam Lambert has a pretty good song out right now. I like the guitar riff in that. I will admit to that. It's catchy. Wait, what do you want from me? It's called, what do you want from me? That's right. What do you want from me? Let's see what Woodsy thinks. Okay. Here we go. Listen to the guitar. Not his voice.

1:36:43It's really great. He's going to make fun of it, we know. Out, out, out, out, out, out. Mikey, you got to get to the beginning with the guitar riff. Yeah. You're out that fast? Out. It's because you know who it is. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's part of it. Stop being a snob. I'm not being a snob. You are a music snob. Stop it. Isn't it all of it? Isn't the entire reason that you don't like it because you know who it is? I hate that guy. See, that's the thing. If you didn't know who it was, same thing with Miley Cyrus. If you didn't know it was Miley Cyrus, you would go, oh, I'll give you another one. As soon as people knew that it was Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson, people were like, oh, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in the world. Most people, because they don't want to like Scarlett Johansson as a singer. I love Scarlett Johansson. I know. Scarlett Johansson can do anything. I think she sings fantastic. She does. She's great. There we go. I mean, it's really simple. It sounds like when I started to learn guitar. It's exactly what it sounds like. It's not him playing. Look at Lauren is dancing. It's good.

1:38:06When you hear it the second time, it's better. And the third time, it's even better. I don't like his voice. Get. Or his personal, I mean, I'm sorry, his public image. Well, neither do I. But that little guitar part, it's really, really simple, but it's catchy. I will give him, I'll give his guitarist that. Matt, I'm sorry, dude. Matt's Lauren's boyfriend. He's just spinning right now. No, he probably loves it. I guarantee you he doesn't. It's really simple, but it's, hey, sometimes simple works. I love when you hear big rock stars that you would never, ever think, and they're like, that new Miley song is great. I've always thought that was cool. It happens all the time. It happens. Were you in Fantasyland? Dude, I'm telling you, who would have ever thought that the hardest rocking guy in the world, Lars Ulrich, would be like, Sampean Supernova, man, the first time I heard it. It's a great song. I was like, it's the greatest thing I ever heard. It's a great song. But this guy was like the heaviest metal dude in the world. He's always, this is the greatest thing ever. Fred Michaels just did music with Miley Cyrus, and he compared her to, what's her name, Nikki? Why can't I think of her name? I like eclectic. I like when things are eclectic. M1 Spencer has something pretty funny that happened to him when he was, it's an embarrassing thing that happened to you when you were playing sports, right? Yes. What did you do?

1:39:35Oh, I was in high school, and I was starting shortstop on the varsity baseball team. And one of the first innings of the game, the ball was hit over my head, and I took off my glove and I threw it at it. Nice. Like, thinking I could knock it down and make it, you know, make a play on it. Done it. Oh, yeah. You threw your glove at the baseball. Standard bit in baseball, yeah. Standard bit. I've never seen it. Oh, yeah. It looks hysterical. Oh, yeah. Especially when you try it in a game. You don't even get close to it, but it's still worth a try. Dude, if that happened, what's the ruling on that? Do you know? It's like a double, I think. Is it a double? Like a ground rule double? I would love to see Manny Ramirez. Yeah, just throw a score. Amazing. Dude, do you know what a suicide squeeze is? Oh, yeah. It's when the two dudes are in the middle, right? No, come on. There's a dude on third. Yeah. Okay, and I was at the plate. Yep. And the rule is that dude on third is going to run for home. And I, as the batter, I have to get the bunt down. If the pitch is nine feet over my head, I got to get it down. Because if not, the catcher's going to catch it, and that dude's dead to rides at home. So I'm playing in high school. My whole family's there. And I'm at the plate, and I miss the sign. And my coach gives it to me, and I miss it. And I take a pitch, and my guy is just hauling down the line. Puts on the brakes, gets back. My coach yells in front of my whole family. He goes,

1:41:02Woodsy! Bunt! Like that. Just totally called me out. I was like... All the girls from the field hockey team we were watching, I felt like such an idiot. It's the worst. It's the worst. Called out by a coach. The topic is, what have you done in your sports career that has humiliated you? 5701949. M1 Dan. What'd you do? Well, I got a couple, but... pretty embarrassing. I wrestled in high school. I had a big tournament back east. I had a short rest between matches, just eating a power bar, go back out to wrestle. Kid wrenched my stomach, threw up all over the mat. That is embarrassing. Dan, what weight class did you wrestle? Back then, that was 112. When I graduated, 152. In your 112, did you ever have to wrestle a girl?

1:42:03I had to wrestle a girl once or twice in junior high school. That was always a little weird. The one match I remember, I just was kind of mean. I kind of toyed with her a little bit. And then the ref pulled me aside and said if I didn't pin her, he was going to disqualify me from the tournament. Dude, I have friends back in Connecticut when I was a freshman, sophomore. They wrestled. They were like little dudes. Like littler than you. Okay, I got you. And they had to wrestle girls. One of them got beat. By the girl? By the girl. That's the worst. That's like when you play a pickup basketball game and somebody lets the girl play it too. And then you have to cover the girl. Yeah, you're the guy on the girl. Yeah, you're damned if you do. You can't get too rough with her because you're a jerk. It's a girl. But then if she takes you to the house, you're like, damn it, dude, I just got schooled by a girl. It's the worst. I hate seeing that. Nothing you can do. I'm like, ooh, that's a tough break. And who's the guy that gets picked to cover the game? Yeah. You guys are matched up. I witnessed a really embarrassing sports moment. What was it? And I'm sitting here thinking, should I tell the story, should I not? Because Woods and Mike are going to get mad at me. Oh, no. I'm trying to think, did we play some sports? Did we?

1:43:17No, it's not about you guys. This happened in high school. Our girls' water polo team made it to, like, the championships or something. We had this big match. Were you a player? No. Oh. I would have drowned. I was watching. Those things will keep you afloat. No, no. They'd keep me up, all right. Wouldn't even have to tread water. That's right. Last survivor of the Titanic. Just kidding me. She's just bobbing. Help! I'm right here! If she had been Rose, she wouldn't have needed that door to sit on. No, absolutely not. Leo would have made it. Yeah. Wouldn't have turned blue and sank to the bottom. She'd be like, don't worry. You can sit on there. I'm fine. Just get on my back. Right. Just sit on my back. Well, it was halftime or whatever you call it in water polo. And all the girls were getting out of the pool. It was one of the girls' time of the month. Oh, no. Sienna. I don't want to. And when you get out of the water. It clogs up in water, but when you get out, you're done for. I just threw up my mouth. And everyone saw. I just threw up my mouth. I don't think, if that were me, I couldn't go back to school ever. It rained down her leg. I couldn't go back to school. I just threw up my mouth. Thanks. Isn't that awful? Yes. But how do you forget something like that? You never do. That's why I'm sitting here. Do I tell it? Do I not? Yeah, well, thanks to you, we never will forget it. It's now ingrained in my memory forever. Oh, sorry. M1 Amanda? Yeah. Go ahead.

1:44:38Hi. Hi. Is this Mikey? Yes, it is. Hi. I was calling because I had a funny story because I was on the swim team when I was really young, and I hadn't competed in a while, but it was a match, so I had to wear my competition, my team suit. And so, you know, suits get loose, you know, very quickly and that kind of thing. So it is the only competition suit I had. What sport? Swimming. Swimming? Yeah. So then when I was swimming in the water, you dive in, and then you coast down the other end, and you keep practicing your starts just before the meet starts. And I'm standing behind this guy, and he's turning around, and he's talking to me, and I notice he's not looking at my face. So I'm like, what is he looking at? And so I look down, and my suit had moved over to the side, and my left boob was hanging out. No. Yes. And he didn't tell you? No. In swimming, is it the same? Because I know in water polo, you have to wear two bathing suits for that reason. Well, in practice, you do, but sometimes you do it for drag. But, yeah, because they're very expensive. They're like 80 to 100 bucks a pop. So it's like, yeah, you wear a couple so that's when they're. When they start to get see-through, they get see-through really quickly. So you wear a couple, so, you know, you're not flashing. But, you know, if you're on a swim team, it's a great sport for a guy because you pretty much see every girl.

1:45:46I'm in. Thought about it and I'm in. So what did you do? Do you just put it back and pretend it didn't happen? No, I totally was. No, I was only like 13. So I went to my dad and he only brought like 20 bucks. So you can't buy a suit for that. So then I was like, I quit. I'm leaving. I'm sure that doesn't affect a 13 year old girl's psyche. Does it? No. What would you do if you were the dad? And I came up to you when I was 13, and I was like, Dad, I was just talking to this guy, and my boob is aching down. I'd be looking for somebody's butt to kick. You'd be like, I need to find everything soon. Did he look? Did he look at it? I'll kill him. So lucky you got boys, Mike. I know. Thank you for the call. Thank you, Amanda. M1 Eddie. Yeah. You got beat by a girl? No, no, my buddy Nick got beat by a girl. That's amazing. He's calling out his boy. Poor brother. What sport? What sport? It was in wrestling. What weight class do you know? We were, like, in junior high, and it was, like, this kind of, like, this little intramural thing that everyone was into. So the girl was on an opposing team that came to wrestle our school in junior high. Oh, my goodness. And she was one of the lighter guys, and she was one of the heavier girls, I guess. Whatever her name was, was his nickname the rest of his high school days.

1:47:08But you know what? Even if I was that girl that beat the guy, I probably wouldn't tell anyone either. I'd be like, oh, man, I just beat a guy. If I was the guy, you know what the guy did? What? The guy goes, dude, I was half speed. Is he still on the line? Yeah. Did your brother pin her? It was a buddy. No, my buddy totally lost. He lost. I mean, I'm sorry. Did she pin him? Yeah, spend him hard, too. Wow. So, yeah, he did exactly what Wood said. Yeah, I did, too. I gave him half speed. Well, I was like, you try to play the innocent role and not go after her, although it's a girl, it's a girl. But, like, she had, she was all about it and went after him kind of deal. Oh, dude. I love it. I love that. Whatever her name was, was his nickname. The rest of his high school days. If it was Sarah. Hey, what's up, Sarah? What's up, Sarah? Dude, don't call me Sarah anymore. Don't call me Sarah. Don't do that anymore. It's not funny. That was four years ago, bro. Desk. And then everybody, all his buddies go, hey, his new buddies. His new friends. Why do they call you Sarah? The chess club. Don't worry about it. Oh, because I slayed this girl when I was like 12. Tell them, Sarah. Tell them why we call you Sarah, Sarah. Amazing.

1:48:22YouTube. Got pinned by a girl. Got pinned by a girl. If that guy has kids now, I guarantee the kids know the story. Everyone. The whole thing. M1 Lindsay. Good morning, Mikey Show. Good morning. So when I was younger, I was about 14 years old, I play a lot of softball, and I was standing on the pitcher's mound throwing the ball to each person. Usually it's the first baseman's job to take the ball and kind of warm up everybody, throw them grounders and stuff. But I was standing on the pitcher's mound just throwing it to them, warming them up because the first baseman wasn't ready. And all of a sudden behind me comes somebody, and they pull down my pants. This was back when pantsing was like a big thing. Oh, yeah. It still is. It's like it's not, and it still is. I pantsed quite a few people in my day. Yeah, I was standing on the picture's round and what comes down with it, my underwear. No way. I would have killed them. Oh, my gosh. Who did it? Who did it? Who did it? I think it was who did it. It was your friend Heather. Oh, I know Heather. Heather. Oh, my gosh. It's so like her. Heather's in that. Oh, my gosh. Down there. That's right. Wow. Good Lord. You still know Heather? Yes, actually. She's on my Facebook. That's it, Heather.

1:49:35Heather's getting pants. The pantser. I had a friend. I had a friend, Tim. You know Tim. Remember Eddie's brother-in-law, Tim? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He used to do this thing that was so funny where when people pantsed him, he would just stand there. Oh, my gosh. That makes it so awkward. That's hilarious. Oh, yeah. That's the only way to one-up a pantser. He'd be standing there, like, making a sandwich at the counter, and somebody would come up and pants him, and he'd just keep making a sandwich. I could see Woods doing that. You've got to be very confident to do something like that. That's so funny. It's the funniest thing ever. M1 Dirt. Hey, good morning, Mikey Show. Morning. I am a cyclist, and I know you don't much care. Back. Oh, come on now. Stop it. You probably would have liked watching this, but I, you know, I wear the typical shoes where you clip into the pedals. Yeah. And sometimes it's a little difficult to get unclipped. Oh, no. Oh, no. I lost my balance a little bit and went down. Oh. Never came unclipped. Oh, dude.

1:50:43Oh, my goodness. Well, when you come to a stop, how do you get the clips out? I know, but when you come to a stop, how are you supposed to get out of those? Well, you just twist your foot, and typically it comes out pretty easily. Oh, wow. At this particular moment, I was feeling pretty confident. I had one foot down. I was unclicked. I can one-up that. Fall into traffic? Jay's got one. I've got the same set of pedals, and I had it set really high up so you can't release all that easy. I pulled up to an intersection. right up next to the car in this red light and tried to unclip. I couldn't. I balanced for a second. Bam, hit the car next to me and slid down it. Oh, no. The lady in the car just looks out her window down at me. She's like, are you okay? Oh, wow. I broke my ankle doing that. Good Lord. Not on a bike. I was in second grade on my friend's mom's exercise bike. No, I was like the kid that couldn't sit still. And she was lying there watching TV. So I was like, I'm getting on your mom's exercise bike. And it had like those Velcro straps that you put over your shoe. And I started pedaling so fast that I couldn't control. I couldn't control my feet, you know. So I was like, what do I do? What do I do? So I just dove off. And my body was lying on the ground while one foot was still going around. Amazing. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Is this Paperboy? Yes. Nice. Yeah, there's a ditty.

1:52:11You know how I do. Want to do some words of, uh, Woods of Wisdom? Do Woods of Wisdom? I want to talk about more people falling off of things with me. I know. I have so many. We'll do some more of that. We'll also got the, uh, I got 10 places you shouldn't be using your debit card. Can't wait. And, uh, we'll do some Woods of Wisdom. Hold on. It's all coming up. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar.

1:53:05So this Thursday night, Devendra Banhart's playing the belly up. Airs in town Saturday night at 4th and B. The Hold Steady play the belly up May 4th. Drive-by Truck Reserve House of Blues May 6th. And Mumford & Sons play the belly up Sunday, June 6th. Oh, and the Big Kings of Leon show. That's a cricket wireless Friday, July 9th. So there you have it. Get out there and taste the show. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. Long day, honey? Uh-huh. I desperately need a trip to Blissville. Let's go. I'm totally craving a frappe at Mickey D's. A frappe what? Frappe. You're not making any sense. A frappe, as in McCafe frappe. What are you talking about? McDonald's takes a little coffee magic, ice, serious sweetness, then puts it on a blender and makes a delicious cup of perfection. Wow. In mocha or caramel flavors. Nice. I drop a straw through the whipped cream and chocolate or caramel drizzles, and suddenly I'm on the fast train to Blissville. There room for two on that ride?

1:54:13McDonald's new sweet blended iced McCafe frappes made with a hint of coffee and real whipped cream. Your day just got a little cooler and a whole lot sweeter. So how was your first train to Blissville? Sweet. I'm thinking of making one more stop at the... Caramel Station. At participating McDonald's. Celebrate the end of your week with McDonald's $1.29 Fish Filet Fridays. The famous Fish Filet sandwich is just $1.29 every Friday for a limited time. And you can enjoy free Wi-Fi every day at participating McDonald's. No one likes to walk away feeling they've just paid too much for their car. Now for a limited time, BMW is offering 0.9% APR financing on select certified pre-owned BMW vehicles. That's 0.9% for the finest German engineering performance and handling. on a vehicle that's a similar price to other lesser new cars. That's 0.9% APR for a vehicle that's as well-maintained as any on the road. And 0.9% for a protection plan backed by BMW for up to six years or 100,000 miles. Need we say more? Visit your authorized BMW center for details on these extraordinary offers. And remember, only an authorized BMW center has access to these special rates. Certified pre-owned by BMW.

1:55:24Now through March 31st, get .9% financing on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your local BMW center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash cpo for details. The great thing about AT&T U-verse TV is you can record a show in one room and play it back on any TV in the house. That's important. Just ask Mike here. Hey. Mike worked late tonight, so he had to record the ball game. Yeah, but when I got home, my whole family was watching some show in the den. Families will do that, Mike. Thanks for the tip. Luckily, you first let you record shows on one DVR and play them on any TV in the house. Cable can't do that. So the game I recorded, I can watch it on the TV in the basement? Yep. How about my bedroom? Sure. Rumpus room? No problem. Closet? Put a TV in your closet? Why, is that weird? Only AT&T U-verse lets you record and play your shows in any room with a single DVR. And now you can build a U-verse bundle starting at $99 a month and get $100 back via promotion cards with qualifying services. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT, visit an AT&T store, or click att.com slash TV. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Go to att.com slash TV to see if you qualify. Taxes, early termination fees, and other charges apply. One year term required for bundled U-verse services offer in 71710. For details, visit att.com slash TV details. If you're struggling in any way to pay your mortgage, the federal government...

1:56:39has just designated $75 billion for loan modifications. As an American taxpayer, you are entitled to this relief money. But don't wait. This federal money will go quickly, so act now. Some companies charge $3,000, $4,000, or even $5,000 for loan modifications that you don't have to pay. Call the VS Modification Center at 888-384-3022. We will show you how to work directly with your lender to get your loan modification completed and save you thousands of dollars. Just call 888-384-3022 for a free no-obligation assessment. You will receive a printout stating your eligibility, complete with your proposed payment and details of your new rate and term. Don't risk your biggest asset. If you foresee any financial difficulties ahead or if you are already facing default, call the V.S. Modification Center at 888-384-3022. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public.

1:57:47By being burdened with credit card debt to aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344. We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344. 800-724-1344. Again, that's 800-724-1344. It's time for San Diego's only major boat show, the 36th annual. Fred Hall Show, March 24th to the 28th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. Boats, fishing, hunting, travel, and outdoor adventure. San Diego's biggest boat show, biggest fishing show, biggest outdoor recreation event of the year. The best deals of the decade only at this show. Kids under 16 free, kids fish free. More info at FredHall.com. The Fred Hall Show, March 24th to the 28th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. It's a whale of a show. Don't just aim for the top. Start there.

1:59:07Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Advil PM. Spend less time lying awake with annoying aches and pains and more time asleep with Advil PM. Encinitas by southbound before Encinitas Boulevard. Two-car crash with traffic backing up to Poinsettia Lane. Looks like those cars are still blocking the left lane. Five northbound after 8th Street. Solo car spun out there with traffic now backing up to Highway 54. Traffic also brought to you by Mossy Nissan. At Mossy Nissan Poway, get a 2008 Nissan Versa for only $10,995. Go to mossydeals.com. Now, I'm Lena O'Brien, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Is coming feeling very well. Never heard with the wisdom what it is, is our boy Woodsy doling out kind of guy advice. Yep. Kind of guy advice. You never know coming from him. Both of you get. No mood. My butt is killing me.

2:01:00I told you, man. I'm a therapist. I'm on one cheese. Let Frankie work it out, you know? Frankie's not touching my butt. I didn't say anything about touching it. I said I'm a therapist. I'm a professional. How are you going to get in there, dude? Knuckles. Knuckles? That's touching it. I'm a professional. I'm not like some weirdo, man. Really? I'll come over there. No, get away from me, dude. All right. 570-1949. is our phone number if you want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Now, we'll do the woods of wisdom here in just a minute, but one of the things I wanted to hit on was there's a couple of big news stories out there. First of all, the Tiger Woods stuff we got coming up in just a little bit. We have not played you the stuff on Tiger from the Golf Channel, which is even more revealing than the ESPN interview. So that's coming up in a little bit. You don't want to miss out on that. What? I'm just falling asleep while you were talking about that. I'm sorry. About Tiger Woods. They're out on it. Is that what it was? No. She's sick of it. Let's talk about the earth, Mike. Yeah. Let's talk about Mother Earth and dolphins. Let's talk about peace, love, and happiness. Let's talk about peace, love, and the earth and dolphins. Yeah, Lauren, what would be... If it were the Lauren. If it was the Lauren show. If it was the Lauren show. People be tuned out. I'm out.

2:02:34What would be your top? I would do movie quotes the whole time that only I knew what they were referencing. That's right. Okay. More than $5,000 was gathered in donations with Chelsea's run on Saturday. Yep. They finished her run. Thousands of people showed up on Saturday. So nice. So cool. That's great. Yeah. And they were able to raise $5,000. Now, what I want to know is where does that money go? What is it going to be used for? It was donated for the Chelsea's Light Foundation. Now, I'm reading the rest of this article, and I don't know what that is. I'm sure it's something towards sexual assault, money towards that. I know that... California is working harder to prevent the sexual assault and doing something more about it now. But, yeah, it was quite the turnout. Volunteers passed out seeds for native wildflowers. There was pictures of Chelsea that people walked or ran past. You know, people brought their dogs or kids out there. And just a lot of people showed up. That's very cool. Yeah. Very. Do you want me to add what...

2:03:39What the website says for Chelsea's Light? The Chelsea's Light Foundation. Definitely. Yeah, it's set up by her parents, and they say it's the only authentic page that is linked to them. And it will support legislative, educational, and any other viable remedies to prevent sexual predators from harming our children. That's good. That's real good. You ready for a little Woods of Wisdom? Always. All right, Woods. Stand up for this one. If you want to email Woods and ask Woodsy a question, just go to MikeyShow.com. And you can do it really easily. It's an advice segment from a guy that has been around the block. All right. Well, what I mean by that is he's got life experience. Lots. He's a guy's guy. I was playing some baseball yesterday. He's a great pitcher. I don't know how that applies. Don't either. You sprained your butt muscle. I did. Sprained my butt muscle. It hurts so bad. He's married now, but. I can attest to the fact that he had some luck with the ladies. Funnily enough. A little bit. Slurdy dot. A little bit. So let me ask you this one. Here's what M1 Fuller wanted to know. Okay. He says, Woodsy, there's a chick that I've been talking to on and off for over a year. He says, it hasn't gone to the next level because she's crazy and overweight. Oh, wow. Woods.

2:05:08It's not me. It's him. He says, well. She's mad at me. She's dropped the weight and now wears extremely hot clothes. Okay. The paint job's different, but under the hood, it's still the same engine. Yep. What should I do? I don't think there's any question what you should do. What, Woodsy? Run for the hills, pal. Run for the hills. If she was crazy when she was chubby, imagine how crazy she's going to be when she's not. And she's actually, you know. Dudes are more interested. Well, maybe she's really confident now and her self-esteem is up and she's feeling good. You know, she doesn't have a need to be crazy. Yeah, I think it's going to go the opposite for you, dude. I would say remain friends. Do not take it to the next level. M1 Fuller? Don't you think, Woodsy? M1 Fuller. He's attracted to her anyway. What's he been talking about last year? Yeah, he's talking to her for a year. Why is he writing in about her? I mean, she may be crazy, but guess what? M1 Fuller's attracted to her. M1 Fuller is in love with her. And we kind of like crazy girls sometimes. Some of us have. That's what he wants to hear. Yeah, some of us have been. But, dude, I mean, like you said, the paint job's different, but the engine's the same. Once a nut, always a nut. If you want to pop the question, Fuller, just go ahead and do it. People, by the way, are calling in to ask you questions, too, Woodsy. Well, why not? We got one lined up. Yeah. So if you want to ask questions, 570-1949. This one says Woodsy.

2:06:32My ex and I broke up last year in June. It was kind of mutual, but I know I messed up a little bit. I wonder what that means. Well, keep reading. I didn't do anything seriously bad, like cheat on her a little bit. Okay, that's what I was thinking about, so it wasn't that. He says, but I took her for granted, and I acted very needy. Now, that's weird. Well, what I mean by that is those are two odd combos. taking somebody for granted and being needy, it doesn't usually seem like the two would go hand in hand. They're very polar. Polar. Yeah. He says, she's a great girl and deserves the best, but why do I still miss her? Should I try to get back or should I just move on? Well, dude, you're human. And I think, you know, me for one in my relationships, especially, I mean, in the relationship with my wife, many times I've taken her for granted. That's such a bad thing to do. I mean, it's such a bad thing to do. My advice would be to move on, but learn your lesson. Learn your lesson and always appreciate that person. Woodsy, what does it look like when you're not taking someone for granted? What's that look like? When I'm not taking somebody for granted? I'm more attentive. I'm doing nicer things. I'm more checked in. Appreciative of what they do. And I've always been really appreciative.

2:07:59You sometimes you sometimes say you sometimes you grow to expect things. And if it's not done, you know, the way that you expect it, it gets, you know, like that's that's the definition of taking somebody for granted. So I'd say, dude, learn your lesson and try to get better the next time. I mean, I make a ton of mistakes. Mikey makes mistakes. We try to get better the next time. He makes mistakes. But they've been apart for nine months. He's writing in nine months. But maybe it's not time to move on. Maybe he now knows what he did, and it's been a long time, and he's still not over her. Well, I mean, learn your lesson. The bottom line is learn your lesson. Yeah, if he misses her, you become friends with that person when you date someone. They become your best friend if it's a healthy relationship. And so he needs to distinguish whether or not he misses her just as a friend that, you know, he can just pal around with. You can't. What's that? No. Yeah, well, you can't. No, but if he wants, but if he still misses her as a romantic partner, then maybe he should call her up. I disagree. How about this one? Woodsy, I'm glad you're doing this bit because I wanted to ask you, how do you go get a manicure without looking like a chick? There's no way. He says, I work with my hands. I'm a metal fabricator and my hands are tore up. I feel like, they feel like 36 grit sandpaper.

2:09:23I don't know what that means. I know. He's trying to guy out to overcompensate for the fact that he wants a mani pedi. He says, I need this, but I don't want that girly stigma. Well, here's the deal. Anytime you're going to get a mani slash pedi, it's going to be kind of a girly thing. It's one of those things. I had to get a pedicure once. And when I say had to, I had to. My wife said, you're getting a pedicure before our wedding. Man, you really had to. I didn't like it. Yeah, man. Wow. I didn't tan, but I went and got a pedicure. I had to go. She made me go with her. I sat there. I hated it. It hurt. It tickled. The whole thing. It was awful. Yeah. But they looked good when I was done. So I was like, shit, they kind of feel pretty good. Say it, Lauren. On Friday, we were in. Yes! That was a joke. That was not a joke. That was a joke. I'm going to head out of here and we're going to get some pedicures. Yeah, that was a joke. Do you want to see my feet? I'll show you my feet. I don't want to see your feet. You tell me if they've been pettied. They weren't. Just because the place was all booked up and didn't have an appointment. My answer to this guy is if you're going to do it, you drive 60 miles.

2:10:3260 miles is the limit, okay? 60 miles to get one where no minimum. 60 or preferably more. 60 miles away from your home. Go to Irvine. Go to Irvine or Anaheim. What about if he walks in with his girlfriend or his wife? No. That's not as bad. No. I think it's not as bad. No. See, like... I'm totally like, if I was in there and I saw a guy come in by himself, I'd totally make fun of him. Yeah, you would. I've been trying to get Todd to go with me. I'm like, come on, let's just do it. Come on. What does he say? No, no. Absolutely not. Maybe me and you go get one for the show. I'd do it for the show. I don't want a pedicure. I'd do it for the show. I'd do it for the show. I'd do it for the show. You guys would all like it. I'll go with you, Woods. Will you? Oh, yeah. I'll go with you, too. Jay's a man's man, too. When they did the pedicure the one time, they scrubbed the bottom of my feet with a stone. It hurts. It hurts. It wasn't that. It was gross. It wasn't that. It made my feet smooth and everything, which was great. But then like a couple of weeks later, as the skin started to come back, I'd get into bed and it would go and it would scratch a lot. I'm like, why do people do this? Dude, do you know that I've ripped sheets with my toenails before? I've ripped. Write that down. Write that down. I have woken up. Jamie's been like, do you realize you shredded the sheets, Wolfman, last night? That is so repulsive. She calls him the talons.

2:11:52The talons? Yeah, the talons. That's so gross. And your wife hates toenails. She hates toenails. I don't want to hear about it. Oh, gosh. Shut up! Don't. So 60 to 80 miles. Get out of town. Go make it right. So you have the paddles, his loud clap, and the talons. And the talons. M1 Dos Equis. Hey, what's up, morning family? How you guys doing? What up? I'm good. Hey, man. Okay, I got a big question for Wizzy here. Me and my fiance, we've been together for... We're going on like five years now. And a while back, we started to develop a couple relationship problems. They were kind of big problems. One of the factors was alcohol. It kind of pushed us apart, drove a wedge in places that a wedge really shouldn't be. So for the sake of the little ones and we took a little hiatus. I left for two months and I came back and, you know, everything's running smooth now. You know, I think we've worked out. Things that we needed to work out, we don't really drink as much as we used to. We obviously 86, the major problem, which was alcohol. But we're still young, so we still have our fun every now and again. My big question, though, is during the time that we were off, she decided to go sow some wild oats, figure out what it is she wanted to do. Within a two-month period, three different guys, two of whom were supposed to be good friends of mine.

2:13:19Now, my question is, who should I be very angry at? If anybody, should I be angry at her or should I be angry at them breaking the code? Well, dude, it's pretty obvious. This is so rough. It's pretty obvious. No, no, no, it's really not. Well, here's the deal. I'd be... I've seen one of the guys, and I literally... I wanted to get out of the car with my five-year-old's t-ball bat and take off on his head. No, I hear you, dude, and you'd be completely justified in doing so. I believe you would not be justified in doing so. I believe you would be justified in doing so. Do you guys have kids together? Yeah, we will. My five-year-old stepdaughter, I've been with her since she was one, and we do have a two-year-old who is blood. All right, dude. Well, here's the deal. You guys have a family. It's time to make it right with the family. If you're going to, you need to forgive and forget. And I mean wipe the slate clean 100% if that's what you want. Now, when you guys were on a break, did you go sow any wild oats? I took it as this is a break from us. Alcohol was a major factor in a lot of our problems. And don't get me wrong, the day that we actually had the split, we were drinking. Can I ask you something, Dos Equis?

2:14:35Of course you can. You ever been in a relationship before where when you took a break, you sowed some wild oats to, I'm using finger quotes, figure things out? Did you ever do that? No, sir, I have not. You have not. I have. I have. Because my father was that guy. My father was that guy. When he said, okay, honey, we need a break, he went out and did everything he wanted to do because he was a sailor and he had different ports to go do it in. I took that life lesson from him and chose. The alternate path. Okay. When me and my significant other at the time say it's a break time for us to figure stuff out, I don't literally go figure stuff out. Yeah, time apart to you doesn't mean time apart with other people. Right, right. No, like we need to sit down. We have a child. There's obviously something major going on in our relationship that's causing this split. We need to figure out what it is, why we're doing it, and how we can fix it. Okay. The reason I was asking you... is because I've done that before, where when I'm on the break, I go do my thing. And the reason is because whoever I was with, like, see, we've, most of us, have been the person that doesn't do anything on the break. And we've also, you know, we've also been in a relationship where we did do stuff on the break. We've been both, most of us.

2:16:00And we've been on the receiving end of it. We've been on the receiving end of it. We've been on the giving end of it. Right. Would we all say that? Yeah. Now, when we ask ourselves when I didn't do anything on the break, how come I didn't? I didn't usually because my feelings about the person were so strong. I couldn't. Right. Now, I'm just speaking for myself on the times where I have done stuff on the break. It's usually been because. My feelings were like, you know, and so now that's just me. Maybe other people, they did stuff on the break because they were different and they felt something different. But speaking for myself, that's the way it was. And so I I'm looking at the situation. I'm going and then it was the bros. That's the part I just was just about to bring up. That's what infuriates me the most. That's the bad part. Here's the deal. I've I've dated women. That had boyfriends before. And, you know, my boyfriend lives here. Great. I don't know him. He's not a friend of mine. You know what I mean? Right. I saw something I wanted. I went and got it. Okay? True. Truly. That bro code does not exist for me, to be honest with you. But my buddy, my friend, my guy on my baseball team, my pal I went to high school with, completely different. Completely. My boyfriend lives in California. Great. You're in Texas now. What do I care? Right. I don't know. He's not a friend of mine. He'd do the same to me.

2:17:28Right. Jurisdictional. Jurisdictional. And so, but, hey, Woods, dude, no, Adam's one of my best friends. I'm not going to hook up with you. You know what I mean? That is inexcusable. You cannot do that, especially those two of them. Two of them. Whoa. And I don't know Dos Equis what the issues were, but the fact that she went after two of your friends means it was a message to you to get you fired up about it. Oh, yeah. In my opinion. Well, like, the thing that actually makes it, like, you know, like, even crazier is, like, these guys, like, okay, like you said, you know, hey, my boyfriend's in California. Yeah, we're in Texas. Okay, I get that. Right. But, like, these were guys that, you know, when my two-year-old turned one, they were at the party. Oh, my God. You know what I mean? Like, damn your family. Sorry, excuse the French. No, you're fine. Right. That's... If it was me and two of my friends did that, they wouldn't be my friends anymore. Oh, yeah. You still talk to your boys? No, dude, like I said, I saw one the other day at the grocery store, and I wanted to have my five-year-old Steve all that in the car. I wanted to put the boots to him. The bigger question. No, no, like beating the brakes off something, don't even come close to cutting it. Like, yeah. Yeah. It says that's not going to do anything for you. It's going to make you feel better for a minute, but that's not going to do anything for you, dude. Now, if you guys didn't have kids, I would tell you, pack your stuff, bro. Pack your stuff and leave her where she stands.

2:18:51The fact that you guys have kids and it sounds like you really do care about her and you guys are working on some of your issues. Dude, I'd say keep fighting the good fight. And if you're going to wipe the sleigh clean, wipe it clean 100%. And she's going to have to do the same with you. Because I know you're not 100% innocent in all this. There are some serious issues there. Big time. Because a girl doesn't do that. See, both of them are wrong. The friends, the girlfriend. That's... Actually, that was two different friends. It's like, one, maybe you could get past it. No. Two, like, how do you get past it? That's why I think it was a message to him. It was maybe to see him get fired up for whatever reason. She has some apologizing to do, to say the least. Mission accomplished. Yeah, you did. Okay, you sent the message, and, you know, good luck. To boil it down, I guess, again, my advice would be... Continue to work on it if that's what you want. And if she wants the reconciliation and she's truly sorry for it. Yeah, then if she's truly sorry and you guys can go do some counseling or something, forgive her. Forgive her 100%, though. Don't hold it against her. Sienna's picking the music. This came out when I was in sixth grade. That's right. Here's the deal.

2:20:08My iPod, Todd's iPod, same computer, so they're mixed. It's a jam. Still good. Tiger also did an even more revealing interview. If you heard some of the ESPN interview with Tiger, it's heavy stuff, but it's not. I mean, they got more in-depth in the Golf Channel interview. She asked him one really, really fascinating question that you guys will want to hear the answer to for sure. It's next. Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Business as usual, we think not. New habits, new financial discipline, new thinking, and no more same old banking. My best friend banks at Mission Fed. My neighbor banks at Mission Fed. My sister banks at Mission Fed. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. It's how we bank today and tomorrow. Trust, stability, service the way it ought to be.

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2:26:28FM 94.9. Now, back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. What is this? What is this? Carrie Underwood, Cowboy Casanova. Is it really? I'm sorry to our program director, Garrett. He just wrecked his car. He's like, what is this? Sienna Piston Music on Monday. Carrie Underwood, Cowboy Casanova. That's a big hit, isn't it? Uh-huh. She's got a great voice. She does. She's from a little tiny town. Mm-hmm. Let's see. Oh, by the way, March Music Madness is underway right now at FM 94.9. Now, this is really cool. You've got to be checking your brackets. The results are on our homepage, www.fm949sd.com. See who's getting closer to the big hound dog trophy.

2:27:51I was listening to a battle between Oasis and Pearl Jam. Awesome. I was trying to figure out who would I vote for there because I like them both. Got to go PJ on that one. I think I would. Oasis. You would? Yep. All day. Man. I thought you hated Oasis. No, no. Between the two, I'm definitely Oasis. Should I be the tiebreaker? Yeah, what would you do, Sienna? PJ. Oasis. Because I said Pearl Jam. No, because I like you. Champagne Supernova. Wonderwall. I couldn't name a Pearl Jam song. There you go. You can't name a Pearl Jam song? Nope. Really? Pearl Jam. I could recognize it. I couldn't name it. Jeremy, Alive, Once, Evenflow, Black, Release, Gordon. Is it? No idea. You don't recognize any of that? I mean, I'm sure I would know. It's a new Pearl Jam record. Might as well be in my mind. You guys know which way I would vote. Yeah, I know you, Lars, would take Oasis. I love Oasis. I've seen them 15 times in concert, but PJ clearly smokes Pearl Jam. Besides Deep Purple, I would say besides Deep Purple and maybe the Sparks. What about your own band? Yeah, I like Talica. I'm just saying that. Talic? Talica. Talica. Not Talica? Yeah. Dropping the me from it? Those bands are probably my favorites.

2:29:18It's a good band. Did you guys know that Golf Network did a pretty revealing interview of their own with Tiger, female interviewer, asking him the tough questions? Let's see if I can get it to play for you. If I was a betting man, I would say no. Probably not. I'm going to say 0% chance. You'll get it to play. 0% chance I get it to play. 100%. Here we go. I'm thinking all the time. First, we have to listen to a commercial. But you got it to play. I don't have to think about it. My golf ball. Let's try to guess what the commercial is. Golf ball commercial. Nike. Titleist. Pro V1 and Pro V1X. Titleist. The most trusted ball in golf. Titleist. That's right. Tiger, you've been a master of control your entire life. How did things get so out of control? That's a great question. Great question. I love it with the word. You've been a master of control your entire life. Yes.

2:30:22Like what? That's actually a really, really great question. You're a guy that has controlled his dome. Yeah. Like really no one else on earth. In fact, if I were to have to say what your talent actually is, it's controlling upstairs. I can tell you what he's going to say. What? Having not heard this audio, my guess would be that he went away from his Buddhist beliefs and his meditation. Let's see. Let's see. Going against your core values. I'm losing sight of it. And his Buddhism was probably a part of his core values. Yep. I quit meditating. There you go. There it is. He heard it. No, I didn't. You really didn't? No, he said the same thing in the last one. Yeah, kind of. I'm a Buddhist. There it is. They're all the same. I felt I was entitled, which I never had felt before. And consequently, I hurt so many people by my own reckless attitude and behavior. Were there moments you thought you should stop, but didn't? Yeah. I tried to stop, and I couldn't stop. And it was just horrific. For a man who's so disciplined physically and psychologically, why couldn't you say no? I don't know. Now I know. But at the time, that's part of what I learned in treatment. Being there for 45 days, you learn a lot. You strip away the... Uh-oh. Oh, boy. I just got the O'Brien. L-O-B. O'Brien just rolled those sockets. Right? Why?

2:31:50I just don't, I don't know. The jury's still out on sex camp for me. You don't know if you believe in the whole sexual addiction, you know? Yeah, I don't know. I think it's called being a male. I think she might, there might be something to do that, right? On the rationalization, and you come to the truth, and the truth is very painful at times. And to stare at yourself and look at the person you become, you become disgusting. The Masters is a demanding stage on its own, let alone for a return of this magnitude. How do you know you're mentally prepared for this? Well, I'm excited to get back and play. I miss the game. I miss playing. I miss competing. I wasn't ready to play in Tavistock or play in Bay Hill. It might be nice to think about something else for five minutes. Five minutes, yeah. Yeah. You know why I miss getting out for five hours on a golf course? Because that means that for five hours, I get to think of something different besides this. Yes. Which has been my reality. And I know that it is his fault.

2:32:50I acknowledge that. I know that it's his fault. I feel sorry for him as a human being. Yes. Yeah. That for sure. As a human being, I'm looking at somebody that's suffering. I know it was his fault. He didn't have to go through the suffering if he hadn't done it. I'm just saying that I see somebody that ran over themselves. Oh, yeah. And they're twitching in the roadway. And I'm like, wow, that's sad. Yep. I expressed that to Joe as well as Arnold. Mostly because I've run over myself, too. Ditto, dude. Many times. We all have the right to solace and peace of mind. Yep. But I just wasn't ready. I started too late with my preparation. And Hank and I started working now and started to get it going. How do you know you'll be ready for the Masters? I'm starting to get my feel back. I wish I had one gajillionth of that sort of golf feel. Yeah, the feel he's describing is something that you and I will never have any idea what the hell he's talking about. There's no way in the world that we'll ever understand what he means when he says, oh, yeah, I'm starting to get my swing back. Yeah, my feel. Really? Get my touch back. What's that like? Well, you probably know. I mean, you're playing baseball again. I have no idea to what that level, what it feels like to be that good. Yeah, Tiger, what's it like to drive a ball 800 yards? Seriously. What's that all about?

2:34:09What's that feel like in the elbow? I just hope that I can, I know how to play the golf course. Yeah, we know. Yeah, it's won it four times. Yeah. Yeah, I think you do. I think you do know how to play that golf course. That helps a lot. I just got to play it. How will your therapy affect your 2010 schedule? I'm assuming you'll have more inpatient therapy ahead. Yeah, I will have more treatment and more therapy sessions. And as far as my schedule going forward, I don't know what I'm doing. Oh, man. O'Brien is. She's out. I'm sorry, I just... As soon as she heard the word therapy, she was like, oh, with the therapy. No, they said inpatient, and I just got a visual in my head of what they would be doing, like, no. No. Slapping his hand, right? No. What is that? Maybe not his hand. Yeah. I don't think his hand's got him in trouble, pal. I think we understand that one. Okay. Last year, I didn't know because of my knee. It was so uncertain, and this year with... It's been a problem with my golf game. Yeah, it's your knee. My knee. If it wasn't for your knee, you'd be hitting me. If it wasn't for the fact that my knee's giving me such trouble. You'd be on the Prime Tour. Yeah, I'd probably be touring. The things that I've done... It was like a competitive burrito eating... I'm sure there is. I think there is, pal. We've got hot dog. I think I'd kill it. I think you would slay it. No, you do not eat the burrito quickly enough.

2:35:34That's true. Yeah. Lauren and I both eat. What if there was a burrito ordering contest? He's got that done. Ordering. People would be talking about me. Yeah, they would. And this is what the conversation would sound like. He's that good. He's that good. They would be like, they'd be sitting there, they'd go, you'll never know what it's like to order a burrito like he does. Like Mikey does. There's no question. You can order burritos, but the way this guy. The way he mentally and physically is able to pick that cell phone up and dial that place up. Born to do it. He was born to do it. It's innate. I think the most interesting thing is that he got the jalapenos on the side. This is the call. This is what I'd be like. Did he just add caramelized onions to that? He sure did, didn't he? He did. Did he not? And if you could also just put a side. Oh, my God, he did the side. He didn't want it overdone. Not overdone. The subtlety of the onion on the side makes a big difference. Can you guys throw in a couple of extra napkins, too? Wow. He's like a boy scout. Always be prepared. He's thinking ahead.

2:36:44He knows he's going to spill it on his tiny shirt. Guys, do you have the little carrots? Because I can down those, too. There's no doubt about it. This is so outside the box. Who would have thought carrots and burritos together? Yep, that'll do. I'll talk to you later. Unbelievable. It's like watching Van Gogh paint. Even his sign-off was amazing. It's like watching Van Gogh or Renoir. Monet. Amazing. Nobody liked me in the competitive burrito ordering competitions. That, to me, is a little bit bothersome, too, in the sense that I don't like not knowing what's... Easily the dumbest 20 seconds to read that we've done all day. Brilliant. All day. But what I know I have to do is become a better person, and that begins with going to more treatment. You went from being recognized as the greatest golfer in the world to becoming a punchline. How did that make you feel? Didn't know it till now. But thanks very much. I feel great. What do you mean by that? Yeah. But since you're bringing it up, you know, I guess it doesn't feel good. No question mark. It's a good question, though. It was hurtful. But then again, you know what? I did it. And I'm the one who did those things. I like that. I love the accountability. I dig it. Oh, this interview is far and away more interesting than me. Yeah, it is. Definitely. Thank you. Looking back on it now with a more clear head.

2:38:07I get it. I can understand why people would say these things because, you know what, it was disgusting behavior. And, you know, that's a person that's hard to believe that was me looking back on it now. America was concerned when the world's greatest golfer was lying on the ground with no shoes at 2.30 in the morning, bleeding. What happened that night? Nope. Well, it's all in a police report. Same bit. They investigated and they have it as a public record. There was a lot of stuff between Elon and I that will remain private. He does not want to talk about that night. Would you? He does not want to talk about that night. I think he's protecting his wife. He is. Out of respect for Elon. How did you crash the car? I wasn't going very fast. But unfortunately, I hit a few things. It's been reported that members of your team, your inner circle, were involved in your misdoings. Is it true?

2:39:07That is not true. It was all me. I'm the one who did it. I love that. I'm the one who acted the way I acted. It's BS, but I love it. No one knew what was going on when it was going on. You know it's BS. You know it's BS. But what's the point of dragging them through? Exactly. Yeah, he's a stand-up guy. He's already in the midst of hell. He should go and take the heat. I'm sure if more people would have known in my inner circle, they would have stopped it or tried to put a stop to it. But I tripped it all to myself. What is the state of your marriage with you right now? We're working on it. And it's a process that will remain private between her and I. There you go. That makes me so mad. Why? It's like, mind your own business. Keep your eyes on your own paper. What is the state of your marriage right now, Mikey? That's between Rebecca and I. Who's going to answer that, really?

2:39:57Well, I mean, everybody, this is, Sienna, like, you're acting like this is the first thing that's ever happened. You read People Magazine. No, I totally, I understand. All I'm saying is that. This is the country we live in now. I know, it's sad. I know, but without anything, I already know this day of their marriage. Yes. Yeah, it's tough. It's not good. It ain't good. Yeah. It isn't like the day we were married. Yeah, it's not like that day. It isn't like day one of our honeymoon. Right. So have you guys had sex since all of this happened? That's a really great question, and it's in the police report. It's like, why are you going to go ahead and ask that one? No, I'm still waiting on a bevy of tests to come back before I'm allowed in that bedroom again. I feel so bad for her. Oh, my God, I know. You really do. That just made my stomach hurt. I know. When you said that right now, it just made my stomach churn. I do like the line that you said, though. I hit a few things, I think, in the bigger picture than just driving the car. He did. He hit a few things. Guy made the rounds. No pun intended. We're here today and look back on these last four months. That's the question I wanted to hear the answer to. What was your father think? He and his dad, Earl Woods, taught him to play the game. They were so very close. And when he won, I remember when his dad passed away, I think he won the Masters and they showed him.

2:41:19Weeping. Weeping. When his dad was sick or something. This is messed up. I don't even want to know what he has to say. Yeah, that question is a stinger. This is a rough one. Let's hear it. Stinger. Well, when you think about it, is it possible that he goes, Dad would totally have been behind my baby? Dad would have loved me. But it's like, don't even make him think about that. His dad's not here anymore. What would he say to you? He'd be very disappointed in me. Yep. He'd be very disappointed in me. We would have numerous long talks, and that's one of the things I miss. I miss his guidance. Yep. I wish I could have. Had his guidance through all this. Have him help straighten me up. I know he would have done it. It breaks my heart, dude. I'm teary-eyed right now. I think about my bad. So hard. I can't say it on air, but he would have been very direct. We all would with our kid. Well, it seems like his mom was. If you saw her at the press conference, she was arms folded. Like, you better say that. You better say that. But dads and their sons, he would have listened. I think he would have listened. Mike, you listened to your dad, didn't you? Yeah. Didn't you? Absolutely, man. You know? Absolutely. And when my dad says something, I believe it. You know? It's my dad. You need to get your life headed in the right direction again. For the 12-year-olds and the parents out there that looked at you as a role model, what do you want to say to them to make them believe in you again? Well, it's going to be over time.

2:42:48That's me. My actions over time. I'm trying to become a better person each and every day. And there's the proof in the pudding is over time. And that's what I'm trying to do. I will continue to do that. And how will you? Not the 11 year olds, not the 13 year olds, but the 12 year olds. What do you want to say to the 12 year olds? What about the tweens? What about them? They're too busy with Edward. What about the five year olds? They're Edward and Jacob. They're not quite teens, but they're not. Never mind. Let's just. Next question. Explain this to your children one day when they're old enough to understand. Yeah, we'll have that sit down talk. And it won't be just one time. I know that. It'll be numerous times. And I take full ownership of it. I did it. Good, dude. He does, man. You got to give the guy that, man. I'll tell you something, man. I'll tell you something. I've never been a fan. And I'm a sports guy and have been my whole life. I've never been a fan of the superhuman athlete. OK, the the one that was so far above everybody else until they're brought back down to earth. And now that I know that he's human, I'm a Tiger Woods fan. I have never liked Tiger. And I mean, ever. I made fun of him. I thought he was a jerk. I've seen him in person. I never liked him. I'm in on the guy now. He's a human being who made a mistake, made several mistake mistakes. And he's going to I'm rooting for the guy. Was she hinting at like he should tell it?

2:44:11his kids what he did? No, no. He's going to. She said someday how are you going to have that condo? But if you think about it. He's going to have to. Yeah. I know he's going to have to. Multiple times. Just because they'll hear about it. Yeah. It's just like if you think about in real life if you're not like a celebrity and one of the parents cheat, usually kids never find out. No, they don't. I think you still have to tell them. And I think that that's good. No. You don't need to tell them. No. Because then they blame one of the parents and you don't need extra blame. Do you not? Is that not Woodsy? I wouldn't. Your kid's 15 years old and dad moved out for some reason? Why did dad move out? Oh, oh, oh, oh. I see what you're saying. I thought... If he leaves, but they're trying to reconcile. What if they stay together, though? You don't think that if mom and dad stay together that you're supposed to go, hey, by the way, want you to know when you were two? You know, before you could remember. Yeah, you're right. You're right. No, but I'm saying, like, if one day he's not there, why is daddy gone? Well, it depends on their age, too. You know? Maybe... I don't know. I think regardless... Kids could be 15 and the parents could be getting divorced. I don't think you should tell them. Really? Yeah. Because, I mean, I just think that ruined the marriage. You don't need the kids hating the father of your, you know. That's not necessarily what will happen, though. Kids. Oh, yeah. I mean, I've seen it happen a couple of times when kids have found out.

2:45:23It's not the same. No, it's definitely not the same. But what if the husband cheated on his wife and dad moves out and then they're like, what happened? And they won't explain. And they're like, we hate mom. They're children. We hate mom because mom made dad leave. And sometimes that happens. But kids come to terms. I just don't think you should throw the other parent under the bus no matter what. I wouldn't want to lie, though. Exactly. I don't know. I think it just depends on the age and what their rational is. Once you get older, I mean, dude, this. I've seen this stuff happen, not in my own immediate family. My parents have never done anything like that. But I've seen this stuff happen where you're like, listen, yeah, my dad was a philanderer. My dad did this and that. Like, they weren't the right match. And I still love my dad. Well, yeah, we heard M1 Dos Equis say that. He saw his father do that, and he decided, okay, I'm going to actively make the decision to not do that. It was just me. And that's the responsibility I will have. I will talk to my kids for however long they want to talk about it. That is a conversation that will need to be had. Based on all that has transpired, what do you want your legacy to be when all is said and done? Just like I wanted before. I felt that golf was a vehicle for me to help a lot of people. And my dad had always said something that I never really quite understood until these times. In order to help other people, you have to first learn how to help yourself. And going into treatment.

2:46:46Center for 45 days. I learned a lot. I learned how to help myself, and that's the way I can help others down the road. I noticed you're wearing a bracelet. Can we see it? Yeah. What does it mean? Looks like rubber bands. Yeah. Well, it's Buddhist. It's for protection and strength, and I certainly need that. When did you start wearing it? Before I went into treatment. Will you be wearing it during the massage? Absolutely. All the way in? Absolutely. Tiger, thank you. Thank you. All the way in, dude. All the way in on the guy. Couldn't be more in. Tiger fan. Big time. Well, he owned it. I hope he wins it, man. I do. I think it's awesome. Real quickly, I talked about how we were going to mention this, and so I want to make sure that we do. Ten places you don't want to use your debit card. There are ten places you don't want to use your debit card. Now, you can. This is just... CNN will tell us why they say this. Bar. No, not on the list. Online. You guys, these are like. Oh, you're going to freak my dad out. No, I'm freaked out. I was reading through. I do every single one of these. I always use my debit card. Yeah. Always. I mean, it just depends on where you're going to use your debit card. You know, I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like if you go to a reputable site, is it really an issue? Well, I'll break. There's different examples of stuff like that. Like it says online and.

2:48:15Phone orders use a credit card, not a debit card, because a debit card links directly to your checking account. You have potentially you're more vulnerable there because if the number does get hijacked and the debit card, you know, that's your whole bank account. Whoop, gone. Credit card has, you know, little ways that can help you and that you get the money back. And there's, you know, securities. Just I mean, all of these are scary. Yeah, but I mean, there are websites that have really good security things in. In place, for instance, Amazon.com. There's usually a little lock on the bottom right-hand corner. It says McAfee or something, yeah. Well, that's if you have that software on your computer. But she's right. There are websites that will show a little lock. And if that little lock appears on the website, you're good to go. It's just what's scary is that they have your number and so they have access to all the money in your bank account. No matter what, in all of these examples, that's what's going to happen. They could potentially get hacked themselves. I mean, it's never totally foolproof. You can win the lock. My dad would... See, because my dad's been ripped off online. I don't know what he did. A lot of people have. Bought a pair of shoes in some, you know, China or something.

2:49:30See, and I buy stuff like that all the time. Just the other day I bought a thing for my dog that was on a random website I saw an ad for in a paper. And I was like, oh, that would be great. I need that. Freak you out buying it? Yeah, I haven't gotten it yet. And I'm like, where is this thing? That was nine years ago. Well, no, I got a confirmation email that said we'll arrive in four to six weeks. It's a long time delay. I know. We look forward to that then. Another one is whenever there's a deposit required. Like say you're going to stay at a hotel and you're making a reservation and they need to get the deposit. They say don't put your debit card down because they have access to all the money in your account. Is there a bigger beating than when you're going to go check into a hotel and you use your debit card? And they charge $500 to hold it. And your trip's not for two months away. Yeah. Cool, man. There's 500 bucks I don't have. I look forward to getting down to Miami. It's the worst. It's the worst. Like I could buy my plane ticket with that. Yeah, exactly. It's a pain. They're like, why don't you just charge me after I use. Yeah, maybe let me show up, use the room and then charge me. After I leave here and they figure out that I had the Toblerone.

2:50:38Go ahead and charge me for the $4 Toblerone. $4? Those are good. $18 Toblerone. Are these macadamia nuts? $19. Delicious. Really? $19 macadamia nuts? That's fair. Yeah. Hey, I think that that big bottle of Fiji should be $24. I think it's totally worth it. After all, it's water. It's kind of like going to the movies these days. It's right from the waterfall. It's right from it. It's from Fiji. From Fiji. I'm sold. So you know it's good. $24. Restaurants. They say don't use your debit card at restaurants because there's so many people around. You know, in a lot of the cases where you do have debit card fraud or someone gets a hold of your numbers is because. Don't use a debit card at a restaurant? No, a lot of the times is majority is at a restaurant. What are you going to do? You've got your debit card. You know where you can use a debit card? Where? The ATM. Yeah, that's it. Might as well go back to calling your ATM cards. I mean, please. If you're a new customer somewhere. If you're a nude customer, you're a pervert. Only one of us in here is going to be nude, and you know who that is. Mikey. It's only if I'm at my own home, shopping online in the nude. Mikey likes to spend his afternoons lying naked in his bed. With his beanbag on his lap. It's a beanbag that I use to put my laptop on. Do you have one of those little beanbag desks? Yes. Oh, those are nice.

2:51:59Yeah. Feels real good. Nude. It's my home. He doesn't want to burn his piece, so he needs a bean bag to block the heat. Never mind if there's company. No, it doesn't matter. There's nine people downstairs. Really? Companies in the room playing hopscotch? Is that it? I'm in my own bedroom. Please. Hey, rule of thumb from now on. Wait till the sun goes down, pal. Really, is that it? That's the rule of thumb. Is he Lestat now? We're at dinner on Saturday night, and Woodsy's like, We're there with our friends, Whitney and Dan. Friday night. Friday night. And they didn't know the story. And once he's like, oh, you didn't hear about Mikey laying in bed all naked? And I'm like, he makes it sound so bad. I didn't make it sound anything, pal. You made it sound bad. You can't make it sound bad unless it's bad. And my wife, too. Rebecca's like...

2:52:57Let me count down the people that were in the house. It was amazing. I'm like, you make it sound, babe, like I was laying out. You make it sound like I had some sort of a chaise lounge out in the middle of the living room with company. And I was like naked. I think it was a bearskin rug. Yeah, I'm laying on a bearskin rug in front of the fireplace that I just got at Z Gallery in front of the company. Like, I'm in my room with a door closed. You're also a 39-year-old man. Yeah, exactly. Thank you for making the point. I'm a homeowner. It's my home. It's a castle. My house. Ridiculous. So if you're a new NEW customer somewhere, that means, you know, you're on a website. You've never bought anything from them before. You're at a store. You've never bought anything from them before. And then another one is when there's reoccurring payments, do not use your debit card. I hate it. You know, like a gym. They'll take it out every single month. Slowns. But I... credit card for everything. Me too. Everybody does. I canceled all my credit cards so I wouldn't be in debt. I know. Yes. Good one. Good one, Santa. I think this is a Todd pick. I picked them all, but it wasn't Todd's portion of the music. Jam police. Do stuff that you think should be banned next. You can call us 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. We will do that. Something happened in San Marcos that had thousands of people watching it online. What was it?

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2:59:34We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344. 800-724-1344. Again, that's 800-724-1344. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Good morning. Traffic brought to you by Account Temps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Call or visit them at AccountTemps.com, an equal opportunity employer. A few things going on out there. We go to 805 Southbound after Balboa earlier crash. There are two cars now finally cleared, though expect residual delays. 805 Northbound before Governor Drive. Two cars involved in a crash there now moved to the shoulder. Traffic also brought to you by Sears Auto Centers. Visit the Sears Automotive Center for the best price on all your car needs. Bring in any competitor.

3:00:58offer and Sears will match it. Guaranteed. Visit SearsAuto.com for more great offers. Sears, life well spent. I'm Alina O'Brien, FM 94.9. Financial media station, the new home of the Mikey show. This is FM 94.9. That's woods. Pepper said this would be her wedding song. Matt and Pepper, please join us for the nuptials of Matt and Pepper. That's right. Everybody gather around. We're now going to see the... To kiss the bride. Gosh, how could you not last line on her cheek? Good pick, Sienna. Thank you. Sienna picked the music. My favorite part. Play-o, play-o, play-o, play-o. I like it. It's Mikey in the background. Oh, that's what I said. That's what I said. That was blue. Yeah! Oh, that's fantastic. Welcome back. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Mikey shows five people myself.

3:02:12Woodsy, Pepper O'Brien, Sienna, and our boy Jay. I want to let people know that if you listen to The Mikey Show, you are an M1. You're a part of the M1 Nation. We've got websites, m1site.com. You go to mikeyshow.com. Watch us on our live webcam. And don't forget our website, fm949sd.com. We've got all those websites available for you to follow The Mikey Show. And you should. What happened in San Marcos that thousands of people were looking at on their Internet? This is so cool. There's a couple. That's it. There's a couple, Carlos and Donna Royal, that live in San Marcos. And they have in their backyard on a 15-foot pole a little birdhouse that owls live in. It's like wild owls. And they like. So they're not house owls? They're wild? They're not house owls. They're not like a typical house owl? No. There's two owls, and their names are Molly and McGee. Of course. Irish. And the couple that lives there, Carlos and Donna, they put a video camera into the little birdhouse, and there are hatching owls. It's an owl sex tape. It is. It's disgusting. Are you telling me that if, can we go there right now and see stuff? Yeah, let me see if I have the website on here. Like the little owl babies?

3:03:36I don't know if I have the website on this article. I'm looking. Just Google. Owls are so sweet until they grab your Yorkie from afar and carry it away. San Marcos owls. I bet you could find it. San Marcos owls. So I guess Carlos and Donna got online and let people know that the owls are going to be born soon. So people have been watching. And one of the owls was born over the weekend. And thousands of people were online watching this owl being born. I wonder, what do you call a baby owl? A chick? An owl? I don't know. They even have like, they have their own line of t-shirts and coffee mugs and stuff all on sale online. Of course. What do you call a baby shark? It's a shark. Yeah. It's a shark. We should come up with like fake stuff. It's called a shant. A nunu. It's a shant. It's called a munson. Yeah, munson. You just come up with stuff. You're like, that's a raboo. Yeah, a baby shark is a raboo. Really? Yeah. That's what it's called. You didn't know? 570-1949. Did you find it? 949-no. 949mikey at gmail.com. I searched it, but I couldn't find it. I bet it was cute. Sienna, tell us about the dude that broke into the house in Florida. The old guy. Oh, my God. An 80-year-old man.

3:04:57He was, you know, just at his house looking for his cookies, his little Debbie oatmeal cookies. So good. His favorite, apparently, because when he was searching his house, he couldn't find the seven boxes that he had just purchased. So what does he do? What? In the middle of the night, he thinks, uh-uh, light bulb. I know who took the... the cookies. It was my neighbor. They must have snuck in here, taken my seven boxes of Little Debbie's oatmeal cookies. And now I want them back. So he went over to the neighbor's house in the middle of the night, knocked on the door. There was no answer because they were sleeping. Natural conclusion. Right, right, right. Middle of the night, I want my cookies. So then they weren't there answering the door. So what does he do? Would that alarm anybody, by the way? Yes. Two o'clock in the morning, an 80-year-old man. He was just knocking at first. Then he went to get the gardening hoe. Not a... His prostitute. He had a prostitute over. Totally different. It's like a rake. He's 80. And he started banging on the door with this gardening hoe. Knocked the door. I mean, the door doesn't even work anymore. And they woke up, obviously, and he said, you have my Little Debbie's Johnson Little Debbie's cookies. You know, I have seven boxes. They called 911. That's seven. I wonder what that 911 call might... Oh, thanks for the abrupt end.

3:06:20That was a sign. I wonder what the 911 call would have sounded like. What's your emergency? Yeah. Hi. Oh, my gosh. My neighbor is trying to break down my door right now. He's got some sort of a garden tool. I don't know. Stay calm, ma'am. Stay calm. What is he using to break in your house? I don't know. I can't tell. I don't know. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Hello? Hello, 911. Where is my cookie? Are you kidding me, sir? Is this a joke? Where is my cookie? Sir, I'm due to get off in a few minutes. Phone is cookie. Oh, my God. He loves those cookies. 911. Where is my cookie? Is this the cookie monster? Yes.

3:07:25Send a unit out right away, sir. Thank you. How many other options are there, by the way, with a monster screaming out the way of cookie? Yeah, you have to send a unit. That operator sounded like he had a dip of snuff in his mouth. Well, yeah, he did, but the operator also said, is this cookie monster? No, it's another monster yelling cookie. Is this a cookie monster? Oddly enough, this is the vegetable monster. I'm having a breakdown. I want some flipping cookies. That's what was so weird. It turned out to be the vegetable monster. Yeah. But he just really wanted some cookies. Funnily enough. Funnily enough. He was sick of living in my house. He was sick of the tomatoes. He wanted to come to the kids' house.

3:08:16And the carrots and the celery. And the guy just wanted some cookies for a second. For once. Well, this happened in Florida. And Chambers, the old man, his name was. Old Man Chambers. Old Man Chambers. 80 years old. He was arrested. What else would his name be? I know. Old Man Chambers. Sounds like a character from Peter Rabbit. Yeah. You believe that bastard Old Man Chambers did? He was arrested on a misdemeanor charge for criminal mischief. Darling, Old Man Chambers has his hoe again. And he's banging down the neighbor's door. The door was damaged beyond repair, and they're going to need to replace it. I doubt that. He's going to need to replace it. It says that the value of the door had over $200. I believe it was repairable. And this is the best part about it. The policemen, when they came to the scene of the crime, they went into Chambers' home, Old Man Chambers, and they found a Walmart bag with a receipt for five boxes of Little Debbie O'Neal cookies with all five boxes in there. Way to go, Chambers. Old Man Chambers, what is up with that? Do you think that the cop was like, huh, what's this? Hey, Chambers. Oh, what do we have here? Hey, Chambers. Did you see that?

3:09:24He's a real jerk. He goes, oh, let's count the boxes. One, two, three, four, five. That's Cookie Man's friend. Can we count? Yeah. He had the count come over. Two, five boxes of cookies. Cookies? To learn how to count, old man Chambers. Seriously. Let me open your eyes. Have you ever had those cookies? They're good. I would be mad, too. I don't believe that there's a lot of... produced cookies that are that great. Those are delicious. Nutty bars. Nutty bars are amazing. I eat them all the time. Little Debbie. I don't know. Are they Little Debbie? You're crazy. Thumbs down. You're crazy. You like Little Debs? You know, I do actually have a soft spot for those oatmeal sandwich cookies. They're so soft and chewy. Sorry, they're not Latino desserts, dude. Really? It's not flan. It's got to be a little pineapple. Sorry, it's not flan. Soaked in batter and deep fried. Sorry, it's not deep fried ice cream. Sorry, I said the peanut parfait, whatever that is. Tris Leches. Sorry, it's the Tris Leches cookie. Whatever. Oh, I want a little nubby cookie now. I'm fiending for an oatmeal cream pie. Honey, if you're listening, go make that ride. She's like, I don't have a car. Yeah, she's stranded. Let's see. She's coming out here, by the way. She's wife. She is. She's moving out here.

3:10:53She was in town this weekend. We did a little house hunting. She's still here. Which was a real treat. Yeah, she's here. Leaves tomorrow, unfortunately. But found a house. You know what Woodsy said to her at dinner? He goes, I have two boxes back in Dallas. He goes, I have two boxes under my bed back home. He goes, bring that. He goes... Anything else I own other than those two boxes, throw it away. Wow. Okay, what is in the two boxes that are hidden under your bed? Just sentimentos and things that are, you know, photographs, stuff like that. Something really important hidden under your bed. Yeah, the harmonica that my dead grandfather gave me. That's one of them. Thanks for bringing that up. I thought you were going to say like a little stash or something. No, I don't keep a stash. It's lying around. Get online, dude. You don't need a stash of anything anymore. Lovely. Well, when Mikey was in the courting process of trying to get me to come to the show, he was telling me that Woods was flying out. And I said, doesn't he need his stuff? And he said, no, the kid's got his guitar and the clothes on his back. He's hilarious. This is before I met Woods. And I was like, hmm. That's an interesting character. Well, I told her, I said, you know, I said, if I don't have, I've been here since, you know, mid January, whatever. I said, if I don't have it.

3:12:11With me now, I obviously don't need it. And in a very knowing way, she went, no. Bring my mementos. And that's all, honey, seriously, that's all I need. Three suitcases of beauty products? They're here. You know that. Okay. What about all your trophies from your baseball days? It's in the memento deal, right? It's in the memento deal. Now, she keeps a lot. Yeah. Yeah, she does. Not by her own fault. Her mother was a notorious, notorious hoarder. I mean... Yeah, hoarder. Let's just call it... She was a hoarder. She was a hoarder. No. She kept everything. Everything? Everything. Dude, we have... Because, you know, hoarders keep boxes of Lucky Charms after they... They keep up their kids' casts. You should see in our garage at home, we live in... Jamie's mother passed away, so we moved into her house. Yeah. And there are, like, cans of... food from 1979. I'm not kidding. She's going to kill me. But it's true. When we were trying to move out and Jamie's getting so much better now, she's like, now I don't even care. I want everything gone. I want to start clean and fresh. It got bad for a while. We have stacks of bills and magazines and coupons and stuff. It got insane. I don't think that you should have stacks of books and magazines and stuff left around.

3:13:34But I do think that there's something for cleaning house a little bit. Yeah. My mom watched an episode of Oprah one time, saw about cleaning stuff out, threw away a baseball cap, a 49er baseball cap that Steve Young signed. She says, my mom, all growing up, she always threw stuff out. Here's the deal, though, dude. That is your fault. Why? Because when you left, that's something you take. My dad. You're going to miss something. My dad. No, you're not going to miss something like that. My dad tells the story of his mom throwing away his baseball cards of like Mickey Mantle rookies and like all these cards worth a ton of money. I'm like, dude, probably should have taken those with you. Really? Yeah. Dude. Yeah. Isn't it a reasonable expectation that your Mickey Mantle cards won't get thrown out? No, not by your mother. What? Mom, leave it. Just don't throw stuff. How long are they supposed to keep it? My parents are moving. Take it if you want it. Yeah, they're moving out of a five-bedroom house. All their kids are basically out of the house living in different states. They live in New Jersey. They have, though, and it's like, I'm the same thing with Woods. If I haven't noticed it's gone, I probably don't need it. I really don't. It was a cute story, but I don't need my first story ever written from third grade about the big heads go on vacation. You know what? I don't have.

3:14:53Every item that I grew up with, inventory to my head. So I might forget my high school annual from my sophomore year. Which, by the way, got thrown out. What did you need it for? To look at it. You know what you look like. We all know what you look like. I don't want to know what I look like. I want to know what Mary Jo Smith looked like. See, I think it's cool for your kids. Because I used to look at my parents' yearbook and be like, oh my goodness. Yeah, what's that like? Don't know. You know why? But she's gotten so much better, dude. Now we are going to clean house. We're coming out with nothing. It's going to be great. Start from scratch. Anybody listening know any real-life hoarders? 5701949. It's so hard to throw that stuff away. Jay, you do? Yeah, there's a... Man, I've got to be careful here. There's somebody that lives in my neighborhood who's a hoarder. And it's not only her house, but her yard. Oh, yeah. Just stacked up. And the city comes by. And tells her she has to clean up. So she'll rent a truck and she'll move it to another. Apparently she has multiple properties. And she'll just move stuff around. Her van, she's got a 15-passenger van. It's filled to the brim. All except for the driver's seat. Just full of trash. She goes to her trash in the neighborhood. Her backyard is just full of bikes and barbecue pits. And just tons and tons of things. Just blows me away. Is there a difference in a stockpiler and a hoarder?

3:16:18What's a stockpiler? My dad's a stockpiler. What is that? My dad will, he'll see, he'll see something on sale. Oh, I know. He'll see like a sweater on sale. And he'll stockpile 15 of those sweaters with the tags still on them. And he'll just have them in a drawer. Because he likes it for himself? Well, but then, or he's such a good deal, I can't pass it up. Or he'll stockpile golf balls. Or he has 45 pairs of golf shoes. Yeah, that's different. Because he finds a deal on them. And then they're up in the garage. He's like an organized hoarder. They're different. But he's kind of a stockpiler. My friend's mom is the biggest stockpiler I've ever seen. She has flat screen TVs in boxes. That's the stockpiler. She saw a good deal on it. That was a deal she couldn't walk away from. So she bought four of them. But she doesn't need them because she already has flat screens. So this one's just lying around. That's wild. My dad is a stockpiler. He has, Mike, you go up in our attic, there are boxes full of golf irons. Like, just, I mean. But what happens when the bigger and better things come out? That's why I don't stockpile. He's not a big... My dad's not a big... He's not like Mikey. I'm waiting for the next big... He would never wait in line for an iPod or an iPhone. You know what I mean? He's not that guy. So your dad's going to have a Walkman stockpiled. Exactly. Ready to go. Exactly. I found some sunglasses of his that he wore in 1987. And I'm not kidding. They're foggy. You can't even use them. I'm like, why are these here?

3:17:41Yeah, what are you going to do with it? What are you going to do with them? Well, what's the psychology behind a hoarder? Because there's somebody in my neighborhood, too, that has... It's got to be not all their trash. It's got to be other people's junk, too. And it doesn't look good. It's not serving a function. Right. It's piled up. It's weird. You should see my nightstand. Cracked in. I'm a book hoarder. Are you? Oh, yeah. I hoard one thing, books. But you don't read them? Three pages. I read eight pages. Three to eight pages. I do the same thing. But you don't... Three to eight pages. But you just like to have them, like... Because it's cool? No, because I feel like one day I'm going to read them. Yep. I'm going to be like Burgess Meredith in that episode of Twilight Zone. I'm like, all the time I want. And all the time I need. Meanwhile, my wife's like, we're going to see you on an episode of like Intervention. And you're going to be like, hi, my name is Mike. And I have books. And I have books. And I just, I'm on my desk. And I keep them there. And someday I'll read them. And I just realize.

3:18:42I'm getting better, but maybe I'm not getting better. Shelby on there. I just love him so much. I can't even find him anymore. There's books surrounding everywhere. He's buried in books. Maybe you can read them in the nude, pal. I was thinking maybe you could stack them up and use them to get into bed like a little step still. Yeah, that's a good idea, Mike. Use them to sit on at the dinner table. Books are one of those things. Same with magazines. People have a really hard time throwing them away. I don't throw books away, ever. I give them away, but I won't throw them away. Burn them. Just burn them. I got books from the old days. I got books from the old days that I want to get rid of. Books, old books. Give them away to the library, dude. Give them to me. What if I think they're filthy? Give them to Traveling Stories. If you think they're filthy, that doesn't necessarily mean everybody thinks they're filthy. That's true. They're not like German filthy books, are they? No.

3:19:37German filth book? Yeah, it says on the, I don't know, but it says on the cover, German filth book. Oh, great. So I don't know. I would take those books in a heartbeat, Mikey. Yeah, it actually says German filth book. Oh, great. On the cover. M1 Makika? Is that right? No, Micah. M1 Micah? Yes. It's close. Micah, are you a hoarder? I hoard everything. Oh, no. Magazines, books, clothes, garbage. Like, I write myself notes, and I'm going to need that stuff later. So I put it in a garbage bag, and it sits in my closet. And just so, you know, in the future, I may think, oh, you know that note that I wrote myself? I need to go get it. And, you know, I'll go through this bag and, you know, find these notes. And, like, okay, I'm going to Vegas this weekend. Just for the weekend, I have three. bags of stuff because I'm afraid that I might need something when I go and it's back here in San Diego. You know what that is? It happens to you one time. Yes. It's a psychological thing where it happens to you one time and then you make it into like reality. It then becomes that that becomes the real deal, even though it really isn't. Well, you know what? I don't want to be there or, you know, not have the stuff.

3:21:02or need it and not be here, so I can't throw it away. We're going to go on vacation in a while, and I'm thinking what Mike is saying right now, I'm going to take it to heart, and I'm going to go, I'm going to go, I'm going to count out the amount of socks that I will need. Really? Yeah. How many socks do you need for laying in your room for a week? That's a good point. To get some slippers. I might as well not bring any clothes. You and Rebecca could go to wherever you're going. Yeah. And you could take a hobo stick, a handkerchief tied to the end of a stick, as your luggage, and you'd be fine. And your man purse with your laptop. And that's all you would need because you don't ever leave your room. No, they go out to nice dinners. They go out to nice dinner. At the place. They go to one. At the hotel. At the hotel. Nice dinner. Yeah, you do one and the rest is room service. We're not even doing the one where we drive for it. We decided we're not getting a car. We're not renting a car. You're going to Hawaii, aren't you? Yeah, they're going to pick us up and they're going to drop us off at the hotel and pick us up seven days later. I am the opposite. Take your hobo stick, tie the handkerchief around it, put a couple pairs of boxers and a t-shirt and you're good, dude. You kick it in the robe and you're fine. Hey, O'Brien, I'm not going to take a canoe down a waterfall like you are. I want to see every crevice of that island. You want to go zipline.

3:22:24Yes. Through everything. I'm with you. Yes, and I'm going to chop on some wheat on the way there. We have an alfalfa sprout in one mouth and something else in the other mouth. In the other mouth? Both in my mouth. Shut your mouth when you're talking to me. Shut your mouth with those mouths. Holy mouth. Zip liner. I'd like to go on vacation with Pepper. I think it'd be fun. Yeah. Yeah, it's so exhausting. Can you imagine? You would hate it. I'd come home and I'd be like, I need a vacation. I need a vacation. I love it. I want to go on vacation with Mike. Hey, Woods, get up. We're going to go for a nine-mile hike. Yeah. And be like, yeah. Then we're going to jump in some 30-degree water and swim. Get. First, we're going to have some papaya for breakfast. Yeah. Get it. I'm like, can we get some bacon? Get an omelet. No, no. Get an omelet. What's for breakfast? A raw papaya and some yogurt. Yeah. Ew. No spoons, Mikey. Don't use your finger. Yeah, don't use spoons. Use the husk of the papaya. Yeah, use the papaya husk. That's what it's for. Nature's spoon. Scrape it with your teeth. What's for lunch? Those raw, unsalted nuts. Raw? No. Can we have something like what? Like a burger. No. We're going to have raw nuts with no salt on them.

3:23:34and a lemon wedge. Delicious. The lemon wedge with some water that I collected earlier from a spring waterfall. I went to a geyser, actually. It's actually good. When they go on vacation, they don't even take any money. They harvest their own food. They grow at harvest. We actually will make our own teepee out of corn house. It's amazing. Sleeping bags would just roll up in some banana leaves. Let's sleep under the leaves tonight, honey. Amazing. So you and Rebecca won't even, like, go outside and lie on the beach? That's what we do. This is the day, okay? I love this. Because I think I would want to do your vacation. Mikey on vacation is, like, my favorite thing. Can I tell you a really weird thing? So I've gone back to the gym to work out, right? The reason is because I want to be, I want to recreate our last vacation where I worked out. On vacation? Yes. You work out on vacation? At the gym, at the hotel. I would never do that. I would. I would never do that. And so I'm trying to get into shape to be ready to do it. Now, do you know why I like it? What? Because they had Gatorade in big plastic jugs. What? Giving you an insight to my mind. What? This is my mind. This is the same hotel. That's how my mind works. Oh, my goodness. I liked the uniqueness of Gatorade in big plastic jugs.

3:25:03This is your incentive? I would do the same thing. I'm saying this out loud, huh? Yeah, that's on the air. It's on the radio. And then they had water with mint on the bottom and ice poured over it and water. And I liked that so much that I would go work out. Wow. What if? Hey, whatever it takes. I've done that before. There was a 24-hour fitness that I went to and they had these nutrition bars that I'd never seen anywhere else. So I would go to the gym just so I could buy the nutrition bars. Hey, it's like a carrot on a stick. Whatever works. So we get up. This is what our morning is. We get up. Okay. Early? What time? I get, well, about six. Okay. Okay. That's about right. Get up about six. This is me. She doesn't do this. This is my schedule. That's not true. I get up at four. Freak. I know. She gets up at six. I get up at four. I'll pray, read the Bible for like 30 minutes. Right. finish really really want her to wake up so I'll make little noises that I think might accidentally wake her up we're being honest you know Mikey doesn't fart in front of her I don't fart in front of her I know it's weird so the sound is like instant messenger on your laptop he slams a drawer a little too loud because I want my buddy to wake up so I'll be like ahem

3:26:30Oh, my gosh. Was that loud? I'm sorry. Is this a cowbell? Yeah, I need more cowbell. Room service. I mean, I don't know what that was. She wakes up. We order room service. Then I take a nap. Then she's awake. I take a nap at 7.30 a.m. Hey, you're awake. All right, I'm going back to sleep. I take a nap at 7.30 in the afternoon. In the morning. In the morning. Wake up. Go work out. Come back upstairs. Lay in bed. Look at emails. Don't answer them. I'm on vacation. Right. Yeah. God forbid. Then we go downstairs and we lay on the beach. That's nice. I take off my shirt. I take it off. Keep the pants on though, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, of course you do. People around. You don't want to do that. Yeah. Come back upstairs. Look at the computer some more. Like for hours and hours and hours on the computer. Then go have dinner at the hotel. Come back to the room. Look at the computer.

3:27:33Mikey! I love that. It's our vacation. It's relaxing. Oh, it's the best. You can go to Akron and do that. At least he goes outside. I was worried he wasn't even going to go outside. Oh, I love that. But he doesn't go out every day. So this is not Elton John. This is not Elton John, right? No, Rocket Man, the Rocket Man. It's like a cover band? I guess. A cover band. That's cool. All right, we'll be back. And what are we going to do? At the latest on the restaurant in L.A. that was serving whale meat. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Hohen Audi Carlsbad is proud to sell what I think is one of the best values in the luxury performance category today. And apparently you agree because Audi is growing fast. Hi, I'm Bill Hohen. At Hohen Audi Carlsbad, we know a thing or two about growth as well. We've grown to become the largest Audi dealer in San Diego. It's simply because we value our customers above all else.

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3:32:20Fred Hall Show, March 24th to the 28th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. Boats, fishing, hunting, travel, and outdoor adventure. San Diego's biggest boat show, biggest fishing show, biggest outdoor recreation event of the year. The best deals of the decade only at this show. Kids under 16 free, kids fish free. More info at FredHall.com. The Fred Hall Show, March 24th to the 28th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. It's a whale of a show. For limited time, get a regular made-to-your-order footlong for just $5. Hurry in. Subway. Eat fresh. Excludes premium sandwiches. Prices and participation may vary. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can back up like nobody's business into spots. What I can't do is parallel park. Woods. I drive fast. I smoke. I'm at the radio on. I'm on my phone. Lauren. I like fried chicken. Zienna. I love cruises. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9. Sienna's picking the music today. Earth, Wind & Fire, September Greats. This is like the ultimate wedding song. It is. Every wedding plays this. Oh, you know it! I got the owl website. Ustream.tv slash the owl box. Lizzie sent it to you? No. I'm when Lizzie put it on my Facebook. Thanks. Thank you. They're really cute little owls. I got it on my email from the guy that Woodsy hit yesterday.

3:33:51Great, dude. I had to bring that up. You're not supposed to say it? No, it's fine. He knows I didn't mean to. I had him 0-2. You got in a fight? Oh, pitching. Yeah, I had him 0-2 and I hit him in the leg. Oh, pitching. He didn't have him on purpose, but it was inside fastball, ran in right in the thigh. What did I say? Mitch Williams. Wild thing. Kid's a little bit wild. Kid got a little wild. Damn it. He felt bad. Went home and said he was sorry. Yeah, while he was walking at first, I said, sorry, dude. Yeah. I mean, I know Craig. I mean, other people I wouldn't say I'm sorry to, but I was sorry. I videotaped it. You wouldn't say I'm sorry? No, hell no. Why not? It's baseball. Would Ronnie Lott lay somebody out and go, oh, I'm sorry, pal? No, but I know Craig, so I obviously wasn't intentional. 570-1949. If you want, you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Great. Great. Let's see. Getting some text messages in here. Nice. Night Scream says a baby shark's called a pup. We talked about that earlier. Oh. It's called a shark. Yeah, it's called a shark. We got people calling in about things that should be banned, texting in about things that should be banned. We'll get to that. In fact, we'll be getting to it in just a minute. Let's see. Oh, you guys want to do a little Name That Tune? Yeah. Mike. Are we doing this really right now? Mike, you know we want to do some Name That Tune.

3:35:23You guys need to relax. You know that. You guys need to relax. Let's get Monday started off with a bang. 570-1949 and you pick a horse. You pick Sienna, Woodsy, or Pepper O'Brien. What kind of tunes are we naming? I'm not going to tell you. Show tunes. Oh, come on. No, don't. I think it's more fun. Show tunes. Because we don't know what's happening. Are they songs? Are they TV? Are they movies? We'll figure it out. My goodness. It makes it harder. He's like 40 show tunes. I'm looking at these songs. Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. I'm not going to know any of them. Man, some of these I'm looking at, I'm like. I got called out on my scorekeeping abilities, even though I was right. I know you were right. That guy's just clowning out. That's the guy that said I shouldn't have my man card, too. Like I said, pal, grab a bat. Show you who's got their man card and who doesn't. I'm going to tell you right now, I think that this is going to be tough for you guys today. Great.

3:36:24Let's just not do it then. I'm 39 years old. I'm looking at some of these. I'm like... Old Man Chambers picked these out? Yeah, it could be. Well, maybe Old Man Chambers didn't. Maybe it's just that they're cool and I don't necessarily know them because they're cool. Did Old Man Isbell pick these out? Old Man Isbell was at work. Okay. You kids should know. You crazy kids. You little whippersnappers. How do you not know? You don't remember MASH? You don't remember powdered Coke? Wow. All right. I campaigned for Garfield. I don't even know who that is. He's one of your presidents, pal. 570-1949. All right, line them up. Can I chew on this? Line them up, Jay. We're looking for people to... Damn it. All lines are lit up. We're going to get... You have to either pick Sienna, Woodsy, or O'Brien. Once he has nothing to chew on and he's panicking. Yeah, I just gave him something. What did you give him? Your red Sharpie. He already started in on it, though. You don't want it back. I told you, I'm bringing troughs of Sharpies up here for you. And you get first pick. They're coming as soon as we move. Look at him, he's losing it. How come I can't just keep my writing implements to me?

3:37:48Mike, it was already, did you see the tip of it? It's all pinched. I took one from his office on Saturday. He goes, where did you get that pen? I go, I took it from your office. He looked at me like. There's 50,000. There's 50,000. You have six kids and three of them are sitting across from you. I know it. I just go, I go, I go, look, I'll buy you guys all the pens in the world. We'll do it. We want yours. They want mine. I want yours. Yours are the best. You know why? Why? Because I know it drives you nuts. It drives me crazy. It drives me bananas. That's why I do it. I only go to the orange Sharpie every day. I use the pink one every day. I eat all of them. And today, I'm looking around like a madman. While we're on the air, I'm looking around. I'm like, where's my pen? Where's my pen? I have one red pen. It's in Woodsy's mouth. That's all I need. It's all I need. My one red pen. Jay's like, oh, I grabbed that. Let me figure it out. As Mike just deflates. I'm like, oh. Is that what we're doing? Oh, we're doing the... Okay, I didn't know. Oh, wait. So we're doing those? Yeah. I thought we were doing... Okay, cool. Okay, I feel a lot better about it then. So it's not named that tune. No, no, no, no. It's not named that tune. Well, it is. It is, but it's... It's for... TV shows. TV shows. Oh. TV shows. It's all TV shows. Yeah, sorry. That was not my... Got it. Got it. Was that Jesse's bumper music that was in there he was looking at? I thought that was. Mikey's like, what? Dude, I was looking at him like...

3:39:11You guys are so rude. And it was because Jesse had all this bumper music in there. I'm like, what's the Whandantangos? You know, I'm like, what is that? It's a show on the Disney channel. I love it. Okay, you guys are fine. I love it. So nervous. M1Girl0, who would you like to select to represent you? Sienna. You got it. You got it. Hang on the line. M1Best, are you there? Yes. Who do you want? Woodsy. You got it. You know that. M1SoCal? Yeah. You get Lauren. Sounds good. He's happy about it. I don't say you get Lauren. SoCal always picks. Sorry. Last pick there. You guys ready to go? Let's do this. We're going to do TV themes. If you know it, say your name. If you say the wrong name, I'm sorry. You lose a point. Like if I say Woods.

3:40:02Yep. No. And the other two get to guess, so don't clear it. Okay. Yeah, Mike. Pat Sajak over there. All right, fine. Come on, Trebek. Make it right, Woolery. All right, here we go. Lauren. Woods. Lauren. 007. No. Not even close. Woods. Not even close. Woods. Mission Impossible. Yeah. What? 007. Are you keeping sport? First of all, yeah, that famous TV show, 007. 007. You know what's better than her saying 007? Yeah, that's a negative one. Can I tell you what's better than her saying 007? Me saying no and her going, What? I'm keeping score. What is 007? 007. I've never kept score. I'm keeping score. Do it. 007. What is it? James Bond? James Bond. Oh, isn't it the same thing as Mission Impossible? That was the greatest thing I heard. 007. What? Mark it. Mark it. Mark that. Yes. Put it on the board. Yes. Okay, I thought they were the same thing. Genius. Give me an extra for that one. All right, keep going. Here we go. Lauren. Lauren. Bonanza.

3:41:07Great. I was going to say that, too, but I thought it might be Gunsmoke. Now Lauren's at zero. Goodness. I hate this negative stuff. It's confusing. It's so good, though. Ready? Lauren. Lauren. Friends. I think I had that one, but we'll give her a charity one that's fun. Get over yourself, Woods. When I saw him play baseball yesterday, I thought... Now I know. He was so good with the umpire. And there was some stuff where that umpire called a ball. And I'm like, I saw it. I'm like, that was a strike. I'm like, how is Woods keeping it together? You have to. Very hard. But he comes in here and the kid. Is a kid. Woods. Woods. Dukes of Hazzard. Wow. Uh. Ha. Woods. Lauren. Cheers. Very good. You guys, I. You have to say your name, Sienna. I know, but like. And then I'll say Sienna. And then you say it. It's pretty good. You ready? Stop it, Michael. You got it. Woods. Woods.

3:42:10Happiness. I know all of these, but I can't get any fast enough. Thank goodness. I was so worried that you would not know. You got to say your name, Sienna. Stop it! Stop it! And then I'll go see you later. You ready? I hate Monday. Woods. Love Boat. Wow. Lauren. Lauren. Fat Albert. You calling me that, or are you just like... Fat Albert, the answer is... Michael Shannon. Did you give her a point? Yeah. 4-3 Woods. Fred Albert! Sorry, M1 Girl Zero. They're beasts. Oh, gosh. Wow, I almost dropped the ball. Sienna, you just say your name and then I'll... I am taking it easy. What is this? Sexy time. Guys. It's like when I'm doing a massage. Really? You don't know? Oh, I know this one.

3:43:15You guys aren't going to get it, are you? This is really creepy. What's? What's? What's? What's? Hey, girl. What? What? What was it? Ew! What was it? Taxi. Come on. I've never seen it. Never heard of it. Ready? Like it, whatever it is. I feel like I can float on a cloud. People are going crazy. Can I give you guys a hint? No. No, no hints. Just hit the button. Nobody knows it, right? Glee. Get. Don't watch it. Great show. I don't have TV. I probably should. Oh, look at Woodsy jumping up and down. He knows it. He knows it. He knows it. Oh, what is it? What is it? Sienna, if you know it, just say your name. Yum, yum, yum. It's on the tip of my tongue, but I don't know it. Chuck. Never seen it. What is that? It's this guy who moves back to town. Is his name Charles? Yes.

3:44:40If a guy moves back to town, that is not even close. What's up, Chuck? He lived somewhere else. He moved back. He's the same girlfriend. I've seen it. All right, moving on. What in the world is this? Good times. A weird that you gave it to her. She said her name first. Daddy's little favorite. It's true. Unbelievable. Here we go. What? What? Mark and Mindy. I don't even need to hear it. Sienna, if you know what it is. I don't know any of these. All you got to do is go. The only one I knew I think was Happy Days and Friends. Here we go. Oh, it's Kellen Woods. He knows it. He knows it. He's pacing. Holding his eye sockets. He knows this one. Sienna. Sienna. Matlock. Like I can't or I'm not going to win. Sean's favorite show. It's still there. Do you want me to keep playing it? Woods is doing air bass.

3:45:48You guys don't know what it is. Night court. Night court. Damn it. I should have gotten it. How many more? Two more. Two more. What's the score? What's the score? Five for me. All right. Excuse me. I'm in there. All right. Negative one. Either best or SoCal. Looks like either best or SoCal is in there, right? Girl zero, mate. Take it. Here we go. Sienna. Laverne and Shirley. No. I'm thinking of every old thing I could think of. How am I supposed to know anything? I only want to. I want to take a guess. Gilmore Girls. I would have been way off. I was going to say Maude. One more. You guys could tie, right? We could tie. If you tie, we're... Then what do we do? I don't know. Here we go. Lauren. Those were the days. Woods. All in the family? You got it. Yes, yes, yes. Did you just say the way... What did you say? Those were the days. That's what he said.

3:47:07M1, Bess. Girl, zero. Awesome job. I'm sorry. We're going to start the week off real good. I won last time. Bess? Yes? You won by the smallest of margins, but you won. Woodsy got it for you. Well, technically, I just lost a point on that one, so it's 5-3. Yeah, 6-3. Because I choked and said the words of the song instead of the name of the show. Unbelievable. That would have tied it, by the way. Those were the days. Eat it. Hang on, Bess. I hate this one. Bess is overwhelmed with joy. He sounds so stoked. He's overwhelmed with joy. Yeah. Right now, this is the happiest moment of his life. I'm sorry, M1 SoCal. Mike, thanks. Bess, this is the best day of your life? That is a man right now that is overjoyed. He's crying. He can't even handle it. He can't even handle it. Zig up. Stop. I'm going to freak out. Stop with that look, Mikey. Are you just yelling at me?

3:48:14He was silently scolding me. No, I thought that was, you did it, man. No, he was silently scolding me, weren't you? Silent Scold. Silent Scold. We call it the SS. Yes, I gave him the SS look. It's a great song. Lauren doesn't get in trouble for it. Woods, you may know who sings this. Yeah, she's still a golden girl. Daddy's little favorite. Daddy's little favorite. Woods, do you know who sings this? No. He's big in Texas. Pat Green. Yes! Wave on Wave. I'm a little over him. I like his old stuff. This is old stuff. Took the words right out of my mouth. This is an old song. Like old to you, I mean old to me. Like when he used to play fraternity parties. Like old Patrick. But he's good. I like him. Did I do the stuff on the whale meat? No, I have it in front of me. Yeah, the latest on the restaurant in L.A. that served the whale meat. I got an update. Did we ever talk about the kid that got in trouble for getting on the intercom at Walmart? We talked about it, but we didn't do the follow-up. We talked about it off the air. Did we? Yeah, I don't think we talked about it. Really? Yeah. So we got to talk about it. The kid at Walmart got on the intercom and said a bunch of racial stuff. Smart. So we'll tell you. We're still going to get to the banned list. Yeah, yeah, and we still got to do the stuff that you want to be banned. We'll be back. I don't know what I was after. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought.

3:49:46Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. No one likes to walk away feeling they've just paid too much for their car. Now for a limited time, BMW is offering 0.9% APR financing on select certified pre-owned BMW vehicles. That's 0.9% for the finest German engineering performance and handling. on a vehicle that's a similar price to other lesser new cars. That's 0.9% APR for a vehicle that's as well-maintained as any on the road. And 0.9% for a protection plan backed by BMW for up to six years or 100,000 miles. Need we say more? Visit your authorized BMW center for details on these extraordinary offers. And remember, only an authorized BMW center has access to these special rates. Certified pre-owned by BMW. Now through March 31st, get .9% financing on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your local BMW center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash CPO for details.

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3:56:04Now, more of The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Great song. Sound like Christopher Walken. Great song. Your dog has no tail. Yeah. Where did it go? It's the romantics. It's the romantics. It's a great song. That's good. Kid goes into Walmart. He's a Yahoo. The kid? No, not the kid. A kid. Walked into Walmart. He's a Yahoo. Got on the intercom. said a bunch of racial slurs over the loudspeaker over the loudspeaker yeah a knucklehead knucklehead yeah it happened last week the middle of last week and they just found out over the weekend who it was it was a big story they didn't know who it was no they just thought they didn't know who the person was they just randomly grabbed the um public address system oh and asked for

3:57:20any black people to leave. I thought that this kid had been caught. They knew who he was. No, he's been caught now. Yeah, but last week no one knew for like a few days. Oh, really? It's a 16-year-old boy. They haven't released his name because he's a juvenile, but yeah, he was arrested on Friday due to charges of harassment and bias intimidation. Arrested? Yeah, I mean, honestly, it's an idiot. I couldn't believe that it was like national news. It's a knucklehead. It's a knucklehead. Doing something moronic. Happened in New Jersey. You know what you do? You call his parents. You let his parents take care of it. Well, yeah. He's in the custody of his parents right now. Weird. Why? Because it happened in New Jersey. All these stories are either Florida or New Jersey. Weird. Jersey. And another Jersey story. Walmart. That's right. What about the restaurant in L.A. that was serving the whale meat? The Hump. Is that really? It's called The Hump. No way. It is not. It's called The Hump. It's been around for like 10 years. For real? Let me see. It's been around.

3:58:24For 12 years, it's a restaurant that only has six tables and it's right on, has a view of the Pacific Ocean. Well, what happened was, is the restaurant and their chef, who's like a big deal, was charged on March 11th with violating the Marine Mammal Protection Act because he was serving whale meat. Perfect. Of course he was. Yes, he has now been charged. He has a maximum penalty of one year in federal prison and a maximum fine of $100,000. For the chef and $200,000 for the restaurant to have to pay. And as their own self-imposed punishment, they're closing the restaurant. Wow. Yeah. And they've publicly apologized. And they're trying to now bring awareness to, you know, all kinds of illegal whaling. It's amazing what you can accomplish once you get caught. I know. It's true. This is true. Hey, Sienna, watch that Dracula movie on Friday night. New Moon. You got it on demand, right? I got it on demand. I paid for it on Saturday. I had one of my friends come over, and we watched it. Thumbs up? Thumbs down? Thumbs down. Oh, wow. Did you fall asleep through it, the whole thing? No, I watched it. Like you usually do? Well, that's because we always go to the movie after the show, and I've been up since three, so it's tough. But no, it just was so cheesy. She does not represent a very...

3:59:41I don't like the girl. Michael, she doesn't make a good muse for Edward. I've said so since the beginning. I said, that is not Bella. That is not her. During the movie, there's a breakup between she and Edward, and she, like, cannot go on with her life. And it's like, come on. She is not his muse. I said it from day one. She's not his muse. Did you see it already? No, I haven't seen it. Oh, stop it. You wanted to. I swear I haven't seen it. You wanted to. You're going to. You did want to. If I do see it, you're not going to know about it. And then it's like seeing a little, like a teenage boy turn into a wolf. Like, I just. I'm out. I'm out. Come on. I'm in. Hillary's here. Hi, Hillary. Hi, Hill. Hi, guys. Have you seen it yet? Of course. I saw it, like, when it came out. Did you love it? In the theaters. I am totally that almost 37-year-old mom who loves. That's my wife. You love vampires. I'm not afraid. My wife loves it. And I resisted them forever. And then finally, some of my girlfriends were like, just do it. Just read it. So I did. I promise I'll watch Eclipse and all the next ones, however many more there are. And Hillary's a reader. I gave her a book. She read it in like two days. She's like, I got your book back, pal. It was great. I was like, what? Are you that girl? Yeah. How do you do that? I do it too. I don't know. Every night before I go to bed, I have to read. How do you read so fast? I can't only read as fast as I talk.

4:00:58I don't know. I was an English major. That's like what I do. I don't do math. I can't. They're high-fiving right now. Woods is even farther in love now. Lauren's into the Twilight, too. Yeah, right? It's fun. It's brain candy. It's like ridiculous. The movies are so cheesy. There's nothing like that for dudes. Sports Illustrated. I guess. Harry Potter. Oh, really? Like I said, I like girls. I don't like Harry Potter. I don't know. There isn't anything like that for guys. Not male-wise. No. Or books. Lord of the Rings. Because it'd be so creepy if grown men were reading about teenagers. Yeah. Teenage vampires. I tell my wife it's creepy she is. She's like, oh, you don't understand. You have to read it. It's really great. And he sparkles. This is what I hear from her. In Portland. Yeah, in Portland, where all vampires are from. What about Choose Your Own Adventures? Love it. Those are for dudes. Seven-year-old dudes. Pick your own. Little dudes. Little dudes. What do you got today, Hillary? I want to play some Clash. I grabbed some Clash to play and the XX and Morrissey. That's the kind of mood I'm in. By the way, I almost got in an accident on the way here, you guys, because I was screaming, Night Court! Night Court! See? And I almost ran a red light. That's right. I knew it. I never heard of it. I did too. Night Court's so great. John Larroquette? Yep. Amazing. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock.

4:02:23Mikey's show is out. Late. ET San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. Mikey in the Morning. About the music all day and night. M94.9. It's about the music.