The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/22/11
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
identity jokeswrestling championshipyacht luxurybumper sticker symbolismrelationship insecuritysports mistake apologycelebrity meltdownTV show formatmichael showanthony roblessteven spielberg yachti heart my wife sticker
Michael opened the show joking about his Hispanic identity and calling himself a coconut for not speaking Spanish (P0). They highlighted Anthony Robles’ one‑leg NCAA wrestling crown and debated its fairness (P14), then described Steven Spielberg’s $200 million yacht with an infinity pool and helipad (P18). Allie from Vista explained a large "I heart my wife" bumper sticker as a Promise Keepers pledge (P31), while a listener’s email about his wife dressing up for physical therapy sparked a talk on jealousy and insecurity (P52). The show revisited Chris Webber’s 1993 timeout mistake that cost Michigan the title and noted Bill Clinton’s supportive letter (P118), reacted to Chris Brown’s GMA meltdown after Rihanna questions (P102), and praised NBC’s The Voice for its blind‑audition format (P129).
What happened, in order
Coconut Identity
Michael jokes about being Hispanic but not speaking Spanish, calling himself a coconut that's brown outside and white inside.
One-Leg Champion
The crew celebrates Anthony Robles winning the NCAA wrestling title with one leg and debates whether his condition gives him an unfair advantage.
Spielberg's Yacht
They describe Steven Spielberg’s $200 million yacht, highlighting its infinity pool that doubles as a helipad, private gym, spa, and crew of 26.
I Heart My Wife Sticker
Allie from Vista explains a huge "I heart my wife" bumper sticker as a Promise Keepers symbol of marital fidelity and integrity.
Wife's PT Outfit Insecurity
A listener emails about his wife dressing up for physical therapy, prompting a discussion on jealousy, insecurity, and whether the outfit signals something more.
Chris Brown GMA Meltdown
The hosts react to Chris Brown’s on‑air meltdown on Good Morning America after being questioned about his past assault on Rihanna.
Chris Webber Timeout Mistake
They recall Chris Webber’s infamous timeout call in the 1993 NCAA final that cost Michigan the championship and mention Bill Clinton’s consoling letter to him.
The Voice Blind Auditions
They express excitement about NBC’s upcoming show The Voice, which features blind auditions with judges like Christina Aguilera, Blake Shelton, Adam Levine, and CeeLo Green.
People mentioned
MichaelMiguelLLBWendyRebeccaWoodsLauren O'BrienSiennaJayChrisTom HanksBud SeligCharlie SheenMark Cuban
28,234 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Let's do it. Nice to have you here, my compatriots, my fellow Americans. My name is Michael. Legally, it's Michael. Miguel. Miguel. My wife, when we first met, wanted to call me Michael. And I said, that's not gonna happen. You said, mi nombre es Miguel. The joke that LLB is making is that I am Hispanic, but I don't speak a word of Spanish. That's the funny thing. I mean, I'm what you call a coconut. I'm brown on the outside and I'm white on the inside. A hundred. You know, so. Let's hear it for me. Great. Do you ever think about taking Spanish classes? I did in high school. Just forgot it. Forgot it all. My teacher was really cute and young and everything. She got really upset at me later in life after high school. Years after high school. Ten years after high school. Why?
Which was a real bummer to me because I got a job doing afternoon drive at KSJO in San Jose, which was right around my hometown where I grew up. And I would talk about Miss blah, blah, blah and how hot she was in high school and everything. And she didn't think it was funny. She didn't get the joke. Most women would like that. Yeah, she didn't. She didn't like it. She didn't like the attention. and she didn't like any part of it. Oh, wow. You know, it's a hometown thing. It's like if I went to high school here and there was a, you know, Miss Smith or whatever at this high school, specific, you know, Miss Smith at La Jolla High. Yeah, I can't talk about any teachers. Yeah, because you could, but I mean, you know, they might get mad. People know who they are. Sure. I never had a hot teacher ever. That was a deal. People were, you know, I guess people went to the high school and they were like, you know, oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's true. She didn't like it. Creepers.
High school kids. You know how they are. If Mikey says it, I can say it. And they were like, hey, did you hear Mikey was saying da, da, da, da? It's my fault, you know. Lesson learned. 570-1949 is our number if you want to call us. And you can because we have open phones right now for M1s. M1s are Mikey Show listeners and you're proud of it. And you ain't afraid of it. As long as you ain't against me, you're with me. 570-1949. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm wearing a thermal. If my wife will allow it, I'm going to get Wendy to start training me again. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Very nice. Am I the only one clapping? Are you there mentally now? Yeah. You've reached the point? Yep. What happened?
What was the tipping point? This morning getting on the scale, and it was more than it was when I weighed myself the other day. Literally the tipping point. Literally the tipping point. That is correct. And so I said, you know what? This is bad news. This is not good. This is bad news. This is a sad story. This is a bad ending. This is not the right way. Scale is so awful. Why don't you start going to the gym with me? Well, here's the thing. I will probably spend more money doing a gym membership than having her come to the house. I know this for a fact because of what she used to charge. But we can tan and stuff, too. Oh, that part. Okay. We're on the air. Choose Fitness. We're on the air. But we can tan. We can work out and then get a tan on. Get our tan on. I have had the radio station approach Choose Fitness about Sienna getting her Choose Fitness back on. Yeah. Get your chews on. And I would love it, but they're still trying to do that. In the meantime, I'm getting fatter and fatter. I'll be back with chews. You will? Yeah, just later on. They're working on the budget at the gym. I'm still a member there, and I'm going to start going again because I'm about to start doing something for another place that's going to get me all doped up on all these vitamins and minerals and whatnot for my fat burners. I have a couple of them right now. They're doing a great job.
Jay's just stewing in there waiting for the right moment to strike. With a big smile on his face. Your trainer comes to your house? I never knew that. Yeah, she comes to the house. Well, she didn't for me, but she did for my wife. My wife had a deal where she came to the house because Rebecca didn't have the time. Yeah. Do you ever just call her and ask her to bring McDonald's with her when she comes? Oh, boy. That one got me a little bit deep. That one hit right where it's not a bad idea. Wendy, can you bring a number two with a diet Coke? Yeah, diet. Medium fries. Medium fries. On your way. Yeah, you're on your way. It's not for me. It isn't for me. It's for the dog. It's the dog needs to be. No, we don't have a dog. Woods is our sports guy. Love him. He's a man's man. He's a guy's guy. I was just talking about tanning. Yeah, I was just talking about tanning. But. Other than that. Kid's always got a dip of snuff. He likes to play baseball. In fact, somebody sent me a little video of your game where you're bunting. I had to. I had to get it down. It's called the sacrifice. And in order to win the game, sometimes you have to sacrifice your own glory to get the winning run over to third. And I did, and we won. Woods plays in like an adult little league. It's a semi-professional men's league hardball. Adult little league is softball.
They throw underhand. Well, I thought that Little Leaguers played with a hard ball. They don't play with a softball. They do, but when you get out of Little League, you get to do what you do. You're a grown-up, but you play Little League. Semi-pro. What's the name of the league? The Premier Baseball League. Premier Baseball League. Yeah, Premier means the best. Oh, yeah. It's just the PBL? Sure. The PBL? What do they call it? The Premier Baseball League. What's the acronym? What do they give it by letters? What do they call it? The PBL, I guess. They call it the PBL? They don't call it that. It's a brand new league. I thought there was some association that was the amateur or pay-to-play. It used to be the San Diego Adult Baseball League, but we're out of that when we're in this new one. How does one form a baseball league of their own? A league? I don't know. How do you do that? I don't know how you form your own league. No, ask Tom Hanks. Yeah, he did it. Right? He decided to do it. Call Bud Selig and ask him how to form a league. Well, this is a different type of league than Bud Selig would be familiar with. It's a little bit different. Same principles apply. Okay. Lauren O'Brien is wearing a pink scarf today. True story. And we call her L.O.B. Blue-eyed and blonde-haired. That's what she is. Also true. Sienna, she's gorgeous. She's sitting over there with her auburn hair.
Just keeping me in line. Try to. Drill sergeant. Drill sergeant. She'll get you. I am. She will get you. And I need her to. I know. We will sit and BS all day. She knows it. She's our news girl. She's 25. The youngest and the strictest. Yeah. Like a Catholic nun with a ruler. She'll slap you on the head. You would have been the best. Oh, yeah. In a bun. Her red hair tied up in a bun. It's not red. I'm sorry. Your Auburn hair. You don't. Mess with Miss Farrar. Yeah. Or you're getting knuckles. Hey, Mikey. Miss Farrar, look at my hand. What did you do? Dude. All I said, I said the F word one time. She smacked me with that ruler like four times on the hand. I got smacked three times on the hand because I didn't raise my hand when I asked a question. I said the F word under my breath. It's how you learn. Punishment. Punishment. Strict punishment. That's right. Go sit in the corner. That's right. Sounds real good. I know about punishment. It's a way that you keep a guy from putting Big Macs in his mouth. Call him a tubby. I punish my body every day on a 25 to 45 mile bike ride or run. Every day. If I've got a cold or a flu. Yesterday morning. If I'm healthy. 75, 85. Yesterday morning, Jay was going on and on about his bike ride and how even his dog ran 18 miles.
Even his dog. He's an Isabel, so we expect. Oh, my God. Yeah, I'm training Jasper to be a Sherpa. That little son of a gun, that kid can carry packs and water canteens like you wouldn't believe. Got to learn. I know you're eight. Come on. Oh, my God. He's already a Marine. You know that, right? He carries a barrel around his neck like a Sabre North. It's got rum in there. That's Jay. He's the best. He is the best. And our phone screener today is Chris. So good news too. Chris is now five days a week. We're going to break him. Oh, I love it. Don't go feeling his head full of confidence. I want to keep him down. Hey, Mikey Stein. You know what you're doing? You're creating a monster, all right? You know who Dr. Frankenstein is? He's the man that created a monster named Frankenstein. That's what you are, Mikey. Yep. You're creating Mikey Stein over there. You're blowing his head up and his ego. Pretty soon, he ain't going to fit through the kitchen door. He's going to be like you, Mikey. Oh, my God. Only for a different reason. You're Fatty Fatty 2x4. He's going to be Ego Ego 2x4. The word of the day is butter. Or Montague.
Takiyah. Couldn't have told you that. Me neither. I didn't know that one. So today the word is butter and I'll say it sometime between now and 10. I'll weave it into conversation. Very, very sly. And when I do, caller nine, four packet tickets to NASCAR's, what do you call it? Nationwide series. And also a rusty hoodie. But this thing is bad ass. It's cool. In the hood. It's got little earbuds. You could plug your iPhone or your MP3 player into it. Makes me laugh when you say rusty hoodie. I think of like a dirty hoodie, but it's rusty brand. Yeah, it's rusty brand. Oh, don't forget right now you go to MikeyShow.com and voting is open. The best breakfast place in San Diego is being voted on. It's down to five finalists. You can go there and vote on it right now at MikeyShow.com. So yeah, we're going to crown.
Your decision. M1s decide. It's up to you, M1s. You get five choices. And the choices are DZ Aikens, Honey's, The Potato Shack, Broken Yolk, and Hash House of Go-Go. Charlie Sheen made a spectacle of himself last night on live television. And so we will play you that in just a bit. You're going to hear that in just a minute. Hang on. Yesterday... It was weird weather. Yes, it was. Like, hail, snow, weird stuff. Yeah, there was snow in Carlsbad. What? Yeah. I got those pictures. It blew me away. I know. Somebody sent us a picture and said it was Carlsbad, and they were like, I mean, could they have been messing with us? There was snow. I saw a lot of pictures of...
There are a bunch of hail balls all gathered together. And it looked like snow. A lot of beach is something I'd never seen. There was a street, and it was completely wide all the way across. It was like three inches deep. Oh, my gosh. I mean, it was completely covered. It looked like snow. It was hail. It was hail balls, but, yeah, they piled up. If you look, the belly up has pictures of it. There's pictures of palm trees with hail balls all on the road. Weird. It's cool. I mean, it was cold. Yeah. Weird. Snow, Palomar Mountain, you know, Mount Laguna, Warner Springs over there, hail all over the place. And really crazy, around 10 a.m. yesterday, there was a pilot flying over downtown San Diego and reported spotting a tornado-like funnel cloud above the ocean. And I've seen pictures of this thing. It looked like a tornado. Okay, you guys, I really believe this. I believe that it has to do with the giant volcano. that blew stuff into the air last year in Iceland, that blew ash and stuff into the air. And I also believe that it has to do with the oil that leaked into the ocean that has evaporated to make rain. The rain is made by ocean water evaporating. And that ocean water had thick months and months and months and months and millions of gallons of oil floating on the surface of the ocean.
And it was being evaporated into the atmosphere. And I think it had something to do with it. How about the radiation that's in the air as well? Let's add another crazy part of it. What about Jimmy Hoffa? Jimmy Hoffa had something to do with it. Okay, fine. LLB is looking at me crazy. Woodsy. I don't know. And everybody thinks I'm crazy. But check it out. You guys, in January or February, it was 100 degrees one day. I know. Over 100. But don't, you know, it'll say. You'll hear something on the news that will be like, this is the brightest moon since 1993. This is the largest snowstorm since whenever. I think things are just cyclical. It happens. They are. And it doesn't happen for a while. And it happens again. I said that to my brother, right? Because my brother was like global warming a few years back, right? Right after Katrina, my brother was all about global warming. And he's like, look at things. And I said, Mark. Massive hurricanes that are that destructive are cyclical. They happen. They happen. What is not cyclical is the unprecedented things that we're seeing. We're seeing things that haven't happened before. You know, seeing snow in, I mean, hail in Solana Beach. I don't think that's happened. We had hail last year. It wasn't to this magnitude, but I got hit on my car in Encinitas. Really? Mm-hmm.
I don't know. Maybe it's cyclical, but it seems so strange. It's odd, man. 107 degrees in January? Yeah. For a day? For a day. I don't know. Because I'm not a conspiracy guy. You know, conspiracy has to do with people and them doing sideways things. This stuff, I think, has to do with us jacking up the planet. Very well could be. Or chemtrails. Ask Sienna about that. See, now that's conspiracy. That's people. Saw it again over the weekend. Oh, boy. Did you see the ABC story that they did on the news? And they were talking about how they're trying to fill in the holes in our ozone, and that's what they're doing. Oh, wow. With the chemtrails? With the chemtrails. Well, if they're trying to fill in the holes in our ozone, it's okay for us to know about it. Just tell us. We wouldn't have a problem. There's reports on it. I mean, that's what I'm saying is they're not hiding it. They're just saying they're doing some testing on, you know, fixing the ozone. Oh, well, then that's not a big deal to me. But who knows what the effects come from it? Aliens, probably. Something's going on. I just think it's kind of impossible to pour that much gunk into the ocean and it doesn't, like, have an effect on us. It's true.
Oh, absolutely. And do you notice that, like, it's not in the news anymore. Like, no one ever talks about the fact that we pumped 80 jillion gallons of doo-doo into the ocean last year. Maybe BP is just walking over to all the media stations. Well, you like the color green? Shut your mouth. I mean, we're not talking about it. And, like, seafood's still for sale. Yeah. Tastes real good. I get the East Coast feeds, you know, and they have commercials that they run in New York City that are like St. Petersburg. It's open again and it's fun. Oh, wow. Yeah. Like they're like advertising for Florida. Come visit Florida. Blah, blah, blah. Nothing to see here. It's like maybe there isn't like a bunch of oil on the on the on the beaches and stuff. But like, how do you pour that many millions of gallons and it's just all good? Everything's fine. It's not all good. There's no way. It can't be. We're all busy watching American Idol. Dancing with the Stars premiere. Charlie Sheen. A couple more things about the weather. Pretty crazy. Yesterday between midnight and 5 p.m. there were...
We logged 107 crashes on local freeways here in San Diego. Now, 107 crashes between midnight and 5 p.m. on a regular day without rain. There's between 50 and 75. We can't handle it. It doubled. Yeah, San Diegans don't know what to do. We freak out. I was pouring yesterday driving home. I slid a couple times. Really? Yeah. Part of the deal is that I see people, and this is the biggest mistake that I think people make in the weather, San Diegans, that they... This is the reason why. It's raining. I can still go 80. Right. No, you can't. You can't. No, you can't. And you'll see guys fly by at 80 and they're like, I can. I've never gotten a crash. Okay, well. Not yet. Also. You can't. for what to expect this week weather-wise. Today's supposed to be partly cloudy. Doesn't look like there's going to be rain. PM showers Wednesday. Mostly sunny on Thursday. Rain again on Friday. How about sun? Is that coming back? Is that mostly sunny on Thursday? 75 sunny. They're giving us a little peak. One day Thursday? Great. Super. Do you guys hear about the college wrestler that's like a champ now and he has one leg? It's an incredible story.
It's incredible. His name is Anthony Robles. He wrestles for Arizona State. He was born without his right leg, and he is now the NCAA wrestling champion in the 125-pound weight class. He's a black dude, right? I'm three of that guy. I think I saw him on TV. He's a black guy. Yeah. I love me. I love me. So he beat defending champion Matt McDonough of Iowa. They're good wrestlers in Iowa. Yeah, I don't know why. God, those guys get some good wrestlers. They do. I don't know. Corn-fed. Corn-fed, yeah. Corn-fed boys, man. And it was since I was in high school that Iowa was good in wrestling, so it must be a thing. But, man, what a cool story. His season was 36-0 this season. Oh, my gosh. He got one leg. One leg. Wow, that's amazing. It's insane. It's so cool. But some are saying that it's not fair because he has one leg up on the competition. And that's not really good. How do you do that? It's a way to get a leg up on a guy. Do you know what I mean? Break a leg? It's all about putting your best foot forward. Or your only foot forward. Or foot. Guy's incredible. But honestly, there was controversy. People were saying that it wasn't fair because with physics, if you only have one leg, you can be better.
You tell that guy about what's fair and what's not fair. He was born without a right leg. And look what he's done. It's incredible. I'm sorry, but like... Haters gonna hate. Anybody that says that is ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Yeah. I think he'd trade places with you. I think he'd give up his quote-unquote advantage to have another leg. He doesn't seem to be, you know, like... down and out about it. No, that's just his reality. He's just a dude. He's a champ. I think he got a part-time job at IHOP. Oh. Get it? I was waiting for the cricket. It took him three and a half minutes. Oh, my gosh. Three and a half minutes. No, I had it. I just couldn't figure out how to get it in there. Oh, my gosh. I almost believed him for a minute, and then I figured it out. I had an LLB moment. Yeah. Really? I was like, I didn't even think that. He did? Steven Spielberg has bought a $200 million yacht. You mean a $2 million yacht? No. Surely. $200,000. $200,000 yacht. $200 million yacht. No. Wow. I know you want to hear about this yacht and what it has, right? Yes. Well, first of all, obviously Steven Spielberg is worth a lot of money. $3 billion. So $200 million. Wow.
He's worth $3 billion? $3 billion. That's his net worth. Phone home. Wait, wait, wait, though. Jeez. Wait, though. $2 billion, all right? There's $900 and some. You got to get to $999 million. And then the next one is you have $1 billion. Right. That is kind of a lot of your whole worth. $200 million? Yeah. Not really. Not really. Yeah. You have $1,800. Think about what you just said, right? Think about what you just said, 999 million, right? Yeah, 200. Right, 200 of that leaves him, of that billion, 799 million. It's 10%. I believe it's 10%. It's 10%. It's 10. It's 200. Wow, we sound like idiots. Yeah, it's 10% of his net. It's 200 million of, you would consider it 2,000 million would be 2 billion.
So isn't it 10% of his whole net worth was spent on a boat? Yeah. 10% though. Yeah, but wouldn't you spend a lot of it on a house too, the boats? Well, I'll tell you this. If that's the deal, aren't you moving out of your house? To live on that yacht? I guess so. And this is what you got to understand about yachts that I heard is that the maintenance. Oh, my God. The staff? The fuel. Yes, the fuel and the maintenance per year. It's supposed to be one of the biggest ways to throw away money that exists. It's a hole in the water that you pour money into. When my dad bought his boat, the guy that sold it to us, I went with my dad to pick it up that day, and he goes, well, this is the second happiest day of your life. And my dad goes, what's that? He goes, the happiest day is when you sell it. Yeah, the salesman. Thanks a lot. I know. We were like, what? What? True story, though. I wonder if he's going to trick it out with stuff from his movies and then maybe sell it. Like, what's the rationale? Turn it into a floating museum? Like a cruise that they could do or something. I don't know. Let me tell you about the boat. Please. I want to hear it. It features an infinity pool with a 15-foot glass wall that doubles as a movie screen. Wow. Oh, my God.
It has accommodation and amenities for 12 guests along with a crew of 26. Whoa. They have to be on salary, you guys. Yeah. It's like more than a two to one ratio. I want the math to be run on it. It has. A private owner's deck with a large separate master stateroom with a study and private deck area with a jacuzzi, a fully equipped gym, a spa and massage room, and indoor cinema. And the pool doubles as a helipad when needed. Wow. Whatever. When you're flying Sean Pennant for a meeting. Yes. I guess so. For a meeting. Hey, I want to talk to you. You need to fly onto my yacht. We're in the... I'm at 36 degrees. We're in the Aegean Sea right now. Yeah. Okay, so where are you right now? I'm in Tuscaloosa. All right, well, I'm going to scramble somebody out there. We're going to get you in Tuscaloosa. We're going to fly you to Orlando. Then we're going to get you on another aircraft that will fly you to St. Lucia, where we'll pick you up in a helicopter that will bring you here to where we are. You land on my pool.
When you get here, you'll land on my pool. We'll put a piece of wood down. Or if you know there's bad weather coming, you just have the helicopter come pick you up and fly you out. Yeah, that's true. The crew stays with it. Wow. What if you were invited to Steven Spielberg's birthday and you needed to bring him a gift? What would you get him? Paperweight. A candle. You can't get him a candle. You can't get him anything. Ridiculous. He's like, oh, it's a gift card to Outback. Nice. That's so nice of you. Get a Bloomin' Onion or two. Yeah, he's probably got an Outback on the yacht. All right, so Charlie Sheen, he popped onto a TV talk show last night and interrupted an interview that was going on with Mark Cuban. And he gave the host of the show a mug. And the mug was a reference to a network that he may be headed to. We'll play the clip so you can hear it for yourself. Just making a scene real good last night. Sienna had a recap yesterday that we didn't get to that I want to talk about this morning at 8 o'clock that has to do with, you know, how old is too old for the boob job? Winning. Word of the day is butter. Be listening for the worst butter between now and 10.
And Caller9, when they hear me weave that into a sentence, gets a hoodie that has a little MP3 player in it from Rusty. It's actually got headphones. Yeah, it's got headphones. It doesn't have an MP3 player. It has headphones in it that you can plug into your MP3. Yeah, the strings that come down that you normally use to tighten your hoodie have headphones on the end, so you just pop them right in your ears. That is so cool. It's rad. And we got tickets to NASCAR's Nationwide Series. So stick around. That's all on the way. Okay, so last night it was Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Kimmel Live. And guess who comes out but Charlie Sheen. I brought you a gift. I brought you a very special gift. You did? What is the gift? It's a mug. All right. And? It's got a fox on it. It's got a fox. Why the fox? Yes. I'll let you figure it out, my man. All right. I'm going to try to figure it out. Oh, wait a minute. What do you think it'll be? I don't know. Reality show? Maybe?
Reality show. Oh, my. I have a little insight. What? I read about a week ago that Mark Cuban and he were talking, and I think I actually reported on it, Mark Cuban and he were talking about doing a reality show, and it just so happened that Mark Cuban was there last night, and Charlie Sheen showed up with the Fox mug. So, reality show. Possibly. I hope not. I would watch it, and I'm sure it would do really well. But I just, with the kids and the problems, I don't want to be seeing that. Just sit back and enjoy the show. You know, honestly, I mean this really genuinely, I don't think it would be interesting. I don't either. We've seen it all. We've seen the most you can see. What can you do that will outweird it? That it's going to outweird what you're doing. Girls will watch how the goddesses are with his kids. And judge, because they want to judge. And judge. People love to judge.
Men will watch it at the beginning, I think, because they're interested. People will start to, and then it'll play it at like... music while he's doing regular stuff. You get tired. How much can a guy get on and be like, look, man, winning, look, doing the same thing. You're like, we get it with your stuff, dude. And the warlock talk and all the work. Warlock, the goddesses, all that stuff. I don't know. It'll be as stupid as every other reality show. People watch the Kardashians. Yeah, that's true. Charlie Sheen's more entertaining. And at least Charlie Sheen is a talented dude. He's a really talented guy. And have you watched America's Next Top Model? No. Oh, my gosh. But those shows are kind of revealing stuff you didn't know about the person. Hasn't he put all his cards out there? Yeah. Hasn't he shown as crazy as you did? I don't know. Speaking of reality shows, Dancing with the Clowns was back last night. Yeah. All new clowns. Stars, Mike. Clowns. Bring me Dr. Clown shoes. Kendra Wilkinson is one of the new clowns, and who else? Stars.
Sugar Ray Leonard. Chris Jericho. Heinz Ward. Heinz Ward. That's a credibility hit. Kirstie Alley. I know. Let's listen to Kirstie learning to dance. Remember the short spastic bursts. All right. Go. Faster. Keep moving. Keep moving. Quick. Quick. Quicker. You missed it. Don't miss it. Okay. My biggest challenge is to move quickly enough. If someone told me to haul ass, it would take two trips. True statement. I like her. I like her voice. Why? I think she's obnoxious. Because she knows that she's annoying and she just, you know, she's out there. She's like Woods. She makes fun of herself. She knows she's annoying. Like Woods. No, I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean it like that. But you know what I mean. You're self-deprecating. Well, she's, you know, listen, when Cheers was on, I had the biggest crush on her. Rebecca Howe. I mean, I was like, oh my God, she's perfect. She was perfect. She was.
Ralph Macchio's on it, too. Oh, man. He's 77 years old now. But he looks 14. Right. Are they just digging for people at this point? Well, it's always the same type of people. Ralph Macchio. It's a good cast this year. I don't understand the rules here. I want to go home. I don't know what to do. What do you do? I want to go back to New Jersey. Listen, I'm trying to Foxtrot. I don't know. This thing that Sienna showed me, I don't know if I believe it. You don't want to believe it. No, no, no, no. Why would you even... Why did you say that? Because... BMW may be unveiling some sort of truck-like vehicle. Now, I'm talking like El Camino-ish. Yeah. Not pickup-ish. More El Camino-ish than pickup-ish. Absolutely. But I don't think I believe it, Sienna. You think it's a hoax? Oh, it's an M3 pickup. Yeah.
It's an M3 pickup. Okay, now for the M models for BMW. Oh, look at Jay. Oh, he lost it. I wished it away, didn't I? Dang it. I was going to have a really good sneeze. I know it. I love to do that to people. You know how you can always make somebody lose a sneeze, which is an awful thing to do, is you say, bless you, before they sneeze. Do it to Jamie every day. Or you just say, look at them. I get so mad because I'm like, I had a good one. You're a monster. I do it all the time. Dang it. Both of you. So BMW's M division is their super high performance, high horsepower, high performance, high everything. And supposedly road and track has these pictures with a BMW with like a truck back. They chopped off the back and gave it like a pickup truck bed.
It's not an SUV. I mean, it's a little sports car with a pickup truck bed. And it was spotted on a racetrack? Yeah, a racetrack. Nürburgring. The Nürburgring is where they test their models. I thought that was like an oral contraceptive. No, that's the NUVA ring. So I can see how you made that. I don't think that's oral. I was at the pharmacy the other day picking something up. And I heard the pharmacist at the window and he went, you have a back drum and the Nuva ring? Yeah. Real loud. And I was like, poor girl. Yeah. Why do they do that at the window? And the guy's like real loud. You got the, you got the back drum and the Nuva ring, right? Is this herpes cream yours too? Yeah. All right. Do you need the pharmacist to go over this with you? Because it's for herpes. And then the NuvaRing is so that you can have unprotected sex. I guess your hemorrhoids are back. I guess your hemorrhoids are back because there's hemorrhoid cream here too. Lisa Marshall, we have your hemorrhoid cream, your NuvaRing for your unprotected sex, and your herpes cream. And your feminine hygiene spray as well. The hygiene spray is not covered by insurance. $40. Would you like the generic...
Vag-a-smell? Ew. Stop it. We can give you the generic. It's just called venusa. Do you want the venusa, which is the generic form of the vag-a-smell, but vag-a-smell? It's disgusting. That's so bad. What is wrong with you? It's true. They do that there now. They do. Sienna, I'm telling you, at all pharmacies, they will be on the talkback. On the loudspeaker. Not on the loudspeaker. When they're talking to the drive-thru, they're saying it really loud. Don't be going through the drive-thru and walking there. And they do it at the walk-up, too. They do it at the walk-up. You have the Ambien. You're like, shut up. The ladies will even say, what did you have? What was it? I'm like, I don't know. And they judge me. They judge me because it's birth control. They look at you. Hey, look. I just have cramps, okay? You don't assume things. Can we talk to the whore? Yeah. Can we talk to the whore? They really judge me. That's buying the quench receptive, Lauren O'Brien. They really do. Lauren O'Brien, your prescription for unprotected sex is ready. Hey, I just have lower back pain and mood swings. Sure you do, sweetheart. Taking a ride in the wild baloney pony. Too far. Mikey just passed out.
He just collapsed in his chair. I might as well do this one. No! No! It's okay, Mike. You interrupted his bit with an inappropriate clip. It was great. Your Vagis smell comment was worse than that. It was? Oh, yeah. It was way worse than that. Well, it's called Vagis smell. Right. Yeah. It is. You don't have to talk about it. Stop bringing it up! You didn't need to paint another picture. Was that too much? Yes. No, it wasn't. It wasn't enough. It was great. It was great. Ew. If it was too much, then I apologize. To whom? Forgiven. Us. Our listeners. It was hysterical. Oh, gross. Made me throw up a little bit. I did throw up a little bit. Everyone in their car gagged when you said that. I'm sorry. Maybe it was too much. I'm sorry. It was great. They threw up a little in their mouths. It was great. It was great. You're forgiven. All right. What's next? Don't worry. We were talking about something else. You were talking about the BMW. I don't believe that they're... I don't buy it. The reason I don't buy it is what they do is they'll take these photographs of the vehicles and the BMW will put these squiggly lines all over it so that you can't tell what it is. And there's not enough squiggly lines. You can mostly see everything on this vehicle. So I don't believe it. That's not a pickup. It's nice, I guess. It looks like an El Camino.
And to me, it's cool. Is that a hot seller these days? Never a fan. Oh, I think they look rad. My first boyfriend had an El Camino. I thought it was pretty BA. You did? I did too, man. My grandfather tried to give me one. I didn't want it. Give. Here, take it. I go, uh-uh. Pimp them out. They're rad, man. Either get a truck or a car. Ah, come on. But there's so much available from a Chuck. Yeah, Chuck. What's up, Chuck? Anyway, so there's that. You guys spun me out. I'm going to think about it all day long. I know. I'm so sorry. No. Well, Jay pushes things over. If I am doing material that is even a tiny bit scandalous, Jay, leave me alone. What? He just pushes me over the precipice. That's what he's supposed to do. You weren't scandalous. You just like to bring up stuff that... Everyone wants to sweep under the rug and it doesn't happen. It wasn't scandalous. It was more like if Lauren and I were to talk about our cycle. Exactly. And then, like, in detail. You know? It was kind of like that. You went to that territory. Fine. So, L.O.B., she was driving behind somebody and saw in the back of their car that the person had a sticker that took up. And I checked with you, L.O.B. I said, now.
Are you exaggerating or are you being honest? She said, no, I'm not exaggerating. Two-thirds of the back window was a sticker that said, quote, I heart my wife. It looked like the I love New York sticker, but it was my wife. You think his wife put that on there? I want to know so much about what went down to cause that. Here's my thinking. The reason that I want to put the person under a microscope. Yes. I want to slice their brain. really really wafer thin and then study their brain is because this is the questions a if the wife did put it you allowed it to stay okay if you put it why did you do that okay so either way i want to get him in a room with a metal chair and a phone book in my hand and with dim light Yeah. And take it to him. Yeah. If anyone knows who this guy is. There can't be a lot of him floating around. If anyone knows who he is. Yes. Please call us. Please. We'll do anything. Please. He needs to go on a guy's fun trip. He's not allowed to. He's not allowed. First of all, he can't. He's not allowed. Yeah, he can't. He needs to go to Vegas. He's not allowed in Vegas. He's not allowed. Fishing trip?
No, no. He can barely see out his back window. He's not allowed to go camping with a guy. That poor guy. He can dream about it as soon as he's done making that second bottle. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I have a theory. He cheated. That was one of mine. He cheated when they were dating. And she gave him one shot. They got married. And she's like, yeah, you're putting this. It's the scarlet letter for a man. I love my wife on his window. It could even be a bit. No, no, no. It's not I love my wife. I heart. I heart. Oh, I heart my wife. It looks like the I love New York things. It's a heart. I'm just wondering if it was like she didn't trust him, she didn't trust him. Well, you should get something on your car. And it was huge. Allie has it. Allie has the answer. There's an actual answer to this. This is a thing. M1 Allie from Vista. Are you there? Hi. You can explain this. I promise people that distributes these stickers and it's a Christian organization for men. And it's not really an organization, but they have different events. What's the deal? Well, the whole purpose is living with integrity as a man of God and kind of honoring your wife and being faithful. Oh, boy. Well, listen, to each their own. To each their own. You guys know how I roll. I'm as Christian as it gets. Everybody can do their own thing. And so I am not in any way.
criticizing Promise Keepers. However, however, I've never been the fish guy. Okay? And I'll tell you why. The Jesus fish. Yeah, the Jesus fish dude. I've never been that guy. The reason is I would rather infiltrate than isolate. And I think that if you do that, there's a possibility, that's all, you know, that you could You know, see, I want people to go, whatever you got, I want. That's what I would prefer. And I've never gone to, now this doesn't mean it's wrong, I'm just saying. I've never gone to the Kiss concert where guys are holding up signs saying you're going to hell and go, hey, what am I doing? I don't want to see Kiss. I want to be like that dude. Forget these Kiss tickets. Yeah. I want to hold a sign. Yeah. You know.
That is not to say that that guy doesn't have his ministry. He's got his ministry. That's what he feels is going to work. Okay, more power to you. Everybody's got to have their own way of doing it. I advocate the same principles as those guys that got the I love my wife. But I think that men need to be men. We need to be men. We've got to be men. And there's something a little masculine. A little bit. But, hey, if that works for them and they're bringing people towards God by having the big, giant, two-thirds of the back of the window, I heart my wife, go for it. It's, you know, that's completely their deal. Bumper stickers out there that are promoting scandalous values and, you know, oh, whatever does it in, you know, softball players do it in nine positions. All of these sketchy bumper stickers.
And this guy's promoting, you know, being faithful to the person you're married to. But it's excessive. Why so big? Why so big? Yeah. Why so big? Even if it wasn't, though, even if it wasn't big, the fact that you have a sticker that says, I heart my wife, that's not what dudes do. You know, like, we don't do a sticker that says, I heart my wife, because other guys will not necessarily find that attractive. However, it may be better. You hear me all the time say, don't stare at other chicks' boobs. Don't look at porno. The reason that you don't do that will destroy your marriage. I'm not going to put that on a sticker on the back of my car because you don't know me. The reason that I think it's effective when I say, don't cheat on your wife and love your wife and do all that stuff. We have a relationship. The listeners have a relationship with me. That's the key. Relationship. If you have no relationship with a stranger, they think you're a nut. What if it's a way to kind of like...
brand him to be like, well, I know that he can't be out pretending that he's some single guy and cheating because he's got the I love my wife sticker on the back. I feel like it's an extension of the wedding ring by being like, this is marked territory. And it should be built on trust and not a sticker. So if you're at a bar, you're going to bring a girl out to the car and say, there's my sticker. I can't cheat. I'm not going to wear a T-shirt that says I heart my wife either. Maybe some people need a reminder. Was a guy driving the car? It was actually parked, so I didn't see the person. It's like this. Hey, thank you for the call. I appreciate you explaining it to me, Allie. It's like this. If the Be Different wristband said, be cool, stay in school, people would be like, that's kind of dorky. Be Different is kind of... It leaves stuff to the imagination. Yeah. It's not like so direct. It's very ambiguous. Yeah. But now you're being a little bit judgmental of people's messages. What if people think that Be Cool's stay in school is a nice way to keep kids to stay in school? It was universally mocked. No way. There was a cat with sunglasses. That was not mocked. So you know it's good. Yeah. I didn't think of that.
There was a cat in sunglasses. Anytime you have an animal in sunglasses giving you a message, you should be on board with it. It's adorable. That's been my thing, man. My deal has been to try to make a message not lame, you know? Yeah. But everybody's got their thing. I think you're probably right, L.O.B. What's that? I need to just shut my mouth and not be critical. Honestly, honestly, I shouldn't be critical. And I think I am being... more critical than I need to be. It's a little sissy-ish, though. It's a little sissy-ish. Not a little. It's a lot sissy-ish. It's a lot. Why so big? Why at all? I'm okay with the small one. I wouldn't pass the small one on to my fake husband. You probably wouldn't be talking about it on the radio if it was a small one. If it was a small one, I would have been like, oh, that's interesting. Oh, it's cute. But the big one was like, whoa, what happened there? Wow. Agreed. So Robert Pattinson is the guy that played Dracula in the Twilight movies? Yes. He played Edward. Edward Dracula. Yeah, he's Dracula. From Portland. Isn't it the vampire? He's like a vampire. He's a vampire. That's Dracula. He's a Dracula. He's a Dracula. He's a Dracula. He's a Dracula. You guys are mixing up all the terminology. I know.
Get it right. I just got a total head rush. That made me laugh so hard and violently. But anyway, he has said that an A-list celebrity lied about meeting him. This person even said that they had a conversation about their hair and stuff, and he publicly said, it's not true, I've never met him. He lied. And we'll play the clip of him saying it next. This song's about marijuana, Mikey. Yeah. What's the one I want? This is a great song. Oh, yeah. I love it. What's the one I want called? It's not about marijuana. I'm just kidding. Isn't it? No. What's the one that I want? Into the Great Wide Open. Into the Great Wide Open. Great. I'm downloading it. Okay, go ahead. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Now, this is quite the job title, so hang on.
the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission Executive Director. Wow. His name is Bill Borchardt. Oh, yeah, Bill. Oh, yeah, good old Bill. He said yesterday, he was talking about Japan, and he said that, quote, things appear to be on the verge of stabilizing, which is great news. He said that while three reactor units there have had some damage to their reactor cores, containment is intact. So hopefully everything will be okay. However, when it comes to the radiation levels, it's been reported that radiation levels in Japan are 400. and 30 times normal within 25 miles from that plant. So just so awful. Hopefully things are getting better. Well, get better. That's awful. As far as the radiation. Also, Apple is under fire right now for an anti-gay app that is out. Now, the company that is in charge of this app is Exodus International, and it's a Christian group. Basically, the application claims to, quote, cure homosexuals. Oh, I saw a thing on this. Yeah. The Exodus International says the application gives users, quote, freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus. You know, that started with gay guys. I mean, that's a whole gay guy organization. The Christian group. It's a bunch of Christian guys that are gay that are trying to not be.
gay. Well, here's the deal. People are freaking out about it. They're trying to not do gay, to not do the homosexual acts. So they are gay, but they're trying to not act on it. Well, it's upset a lot of people either way because a lot of people maybe don't know that backstory, but people are saying Apple needs to be told loud and clear that this is unacceptable. Well, then those dudes need to be told that too. Yeah. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Mikey ever stick up for Apple? Oh, wow. Mikey ever defend Apple to the death? Yeah. Well, everything ends up on Apple. Would Mikey fight a tiger in the Coliseum over Apple? Get an apple out of his mouth. Yeah. Well, so this is pretty interesting. There was a gentleman, and we all know him. He's the GM of the Chargers. His name's AJ Smith. AJ Smith actually volunteered his help. At the negotiating table for this big labor dispute. He says he was cut off.
before he got to finish his sentence. Really? Because nobody wanted A.J. Smith at that table because basically everybody knows A.J.'s negotiating style is, here's my offer. You can feast on it. Take it or leave it, pal. But so yesterday started the NFL meetings in New Orleans, and Jeff Pasch is the head attorney for the NFL. This is him talking about the labor talks at the owners' meeting. I thought it was a good session. quite detailed, and the clubs remain very engaged and very committed to trying to work through this situation and reach a new agreement with the players. Yeah, so we're going to hear more from Jeff Pash later. He has a pretty bold statement to tell you about the Players Association, but also, oh, by the way, this is brought to you by Frank's Red Hot. Get some. Get some. Lawrence Taylor will be sentenced today. He pleaded guilty in January to sexual misconduct and patronizing a prostitute. Paid an underage girl $300 to have sex. And he will pay. He's going to be paying $1,400 placed on six years probation. Oh, wow. And will also be registering as a sex offender. But he's not going to do jail time. No jail time. Wow is right. Wow. Pays to know people, I guess. Yeah, it does.
Is she doing mashups real good? I really enjoy that. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show, and I am 40 years of age. That's Woodsy. He's 35, and he's our sports guy. Lauren is our assistant producer. She's also a comedian, and she's 30 years old. Sienna's our news girl, 25. Jay is our producer. He's 47. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Chris. It's Crawl. It's Crawl. So if you're a fan of the Dracula series called Twilight. No. It's a vampire novel. Then this may interest you. Robert Pattison, who is his character's name is Team Edward. Edward Cullen. Right. Well said.
He went on MTV News and was telling the following story about somebody that lied about knowing him. Justin Bieber. There was a story I read in my copious research for you, Rob. Tell me if this is true or not, that you had some time with Justin Bieber and you compared kind of hairstyles and talked over hairstyles. I never met this guy. I saw this thing. I mean, I saw that as well. You're really famous, man. What are you doing? You don't need to use me to make up stories. Yo, man, he lying. He's not lying. He lying, man. We hung out. Yeah, man. We met her. Justin, you don't need to lie to be cool. What'd you guys do? We talked about her and... Your hair? Her. Yeah, yeah. Your hair? We hung out, man. He just said you never met Justin Bieber. He be lying, man. That's my mom's, man. My mom's went and picked him up from his mom's house. Why are you talking that way? Like what? Like you have a black man's affectation. You don't.
Like a street ghetto. I'm black. Street ghetto. I'm black. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Do you talk to your mom like that? My mom? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Your mom. My mom's. No, you're using the plural. I'm saying what you... It sounds like I'm saying exactly what you're saying. My mom's. Mom. Mom's. Mom. Mom's. Mom. My mom's. Mom. My mom's. See? You have two moms? My mom's. One mom's. Singular. If I were to come up and scare you, would you still talk like that? Or would there be like a fake voice? This ain't no fake voice, man. This is how I talk. What's up, girl? Let me holler at you for a minute. Why do I think Robert Pattinson's cuter now? Because he has an accent? I like hearing his voice. I don't even think he's that cute. Don't I? It's very proper. My wife ever watch those movies? Maybe he hits a tanning bed. No, leave him alone. He's a beautiful skin. He's not a vampire. There are no vampires. Yes, there are. Crazy housewives. He plays one on TV. Sienna, how come he appeals to women? You don't know. I think it's because in the first movie, he's just such a protective boyfriend. And he just would do anything for her. And I think we just all want that. Women just want protective.
Guys, I don't do anything for that. Let me tell you what's so sad about Twilight is that if he could just be normal, he'd blow her off and go for the supermodel. Yes. If he just didn't have translucent skin and he could wave a magic wand and he could somehow look like Johnny Depp, he'd break up with her immediately. What's her name in the movie? Claire? Claire? Claire. It's Claire, right? Bella. Bella Swan. Mrs. Dracula. Yeah, Mrs. Dracula. He'd be like, he'd go, Bella, sorry, but I can do much better than you in that old truck. Right, but I have, you can see through me and my skin glows. You can't see through him. Who can I get? Who can I get? I can't even go outside in the sunlight. I can get Plain Jane from Oregon that drives a truck. No. She's not even from Oregon. No. Portland. We live in Forks. Forks washing him. He can have anybody he wants. It's not about him. No, it's not about her looks. Why is Jay sticking up for Tima Edward? He can hypnotize you, okay? Edward, Colin, can read people's minds and thoughts. He can't read Bella's. That's the only person. Plus, her smell is like, oh, it's just, there's something about her. Everyone knows it. There's something about her. It smells like lunch to him. All the vampires are like, what are you? There's something special.
What is it? We'll find out. We will. Every woman wants to have that special scent. Are you kidding me? We're going to find out in one of the movies or the books. There's something because I haven't read the books. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Three books already, right? Yeah. Well, there's four total books, but three movies. You've read them all, right, L.O.B.? So you know. And they have not given away what it is about her? Not in the movie they haven't. But in the books they do. Can you tell me? No. Why? Would it ruin it for people? We'll never see it, won't we? It doesn't matter. There's people in their car. I'll probably find out in the next movie. So you don't even want to know? No. It's just like... It's a bunch of broads in their car right now. We're like... Yeah. We'll talk about it later. Really? Will you tell us off the air? No. L-O-B. Why not? You know you're going to watch the movies. I don't like surprises, though. I'm not going to watch the movies. You're going to watch them. Dude, you've watched them. I've watched one and a half of them. Woods has watched them alone without his wife. Yes. I liked the first one. I did not like the second one. He gets them the first night they're out on release. No, I don't. You do so.
No, I don't. Yes, you do. You wait in line at Blockbuster starting at midnight. I skipped a beach day. You wear sunglasses. You got a little beach chair. It's midnight. You have sunglasses, a scarf, and a baseball cap on. Woods had just moved to town. Twilight had just come out. And I said, Woods. Not Twilight. It was the next one. It was New Moon had just come out to rent. And it was a big deal because he wanted to see it. But it was a gorgeous day. Beautiful. And I called Woods and said, let's go to the beach. Come on. You just moved here. He doesn't really have any friends. And he said, no, I think I'm just going to stay there and watch New Moon. Wiener time. Listen, I'm as metro as it gets. There's not an interest in it. There's just not an interest for me. Well, I had seen the first one, and it's a nice love story, and I like a nice love story. I just said that on the air. And I want to see how it ended. I have a question for you. I don't like fantasy. Then why do you like that? Because it's vampires, and it's kind of cool. Scary? Scary a little bit. Well, because vampires are real. They're not real. Is that it? It's the scary aspect? It's like it's got a creepy aspect? Mine was more of the love story.
You are digging a hole. Which makes it even worse. I like it. Can I ask you? Yes, go. I'm going to ask you a question. Okay. Did you see the first one? No, bro. Honestly, it isn't that it's gay. It's not that it's, oh, it's feminine, blah, blah, blah. It's not bad. I got sucked in one Sunday afternoon and I watched it and I go, I looked at my wife, I go, it's a pretty good movie. Like, it's good. When he stops the car and stuff, I was like, oh, I'm in. It's not a good movie. There's things that you know are not. necessarily good, but they suck you in. But I didn't read the book, so to me, I was like, alright, this is what all the fuss is about. I watch and I go, pretty good. Pretty good. They can read people's minds, but they can't read Claire's mind. They can't read Claire's mind. Bella, whatever. Only Edward Cullen reads minds. They all have different powers. You know what I liked about the first movie? They played baseball, and I liked that. I was in on that. They played this vampire baseball game. I'm not searching. I asked my wife. I love that part. I want to ask questions. Fire away. I want to ask questions to somebody that knows about these movies. Oh, well, I know about one of them. Probably LLB. What do you want to know? He reads their minds, but he can't read Bella's. He cannot read Bella's thoughts. And that intrigues him? Why does she like him? Why does she like him? Because he's gorgeous. No, he's not. No, he's not. He's translucent.
He's gorgeous. He's got big, tall hair. He's got amber eyes. He's model-y, like a model. Yeah. I would not go in the bathroom after he's left it. What? You're nuts. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I would. He's the least farty of the guys. Jacob's fartier. Jacob is so much fartier. I can't stand him. Stinky breath. You're a little wrapped up in this. Uncle Victor's got something to say about it. Yeah. It's Uncle Victor for it. Who was in there? It stinks. It's terrible. What's the matter with you already? I mean, it's like I can barely breathe when I go in there. Why don't you light a match or something, you know? It's terrible. Listen, I come here because I like the food, you know? But I can't even go in the restroom already because it's so terrible. Do me a favor.
Come on. It's awful. Don't go in there. No. Wow. Don't go in there. He likes the manicot. The manicot. The manicot. Yeah, I was watching because my wife had that on. And the guy that used to date Taylor Swift, the Taylor Lautner. Taylor Lautner. Thought he'd look like he had bad breath. No. He's hardy too. He's sweaty. His tennis shoes stink. Oh, he probably wears them without socks. They stink so bad. When you walk into his room. Oh my gosh. You walk in his room, you smell fart and sweat. No chance. Stinky shoe. He's better looking than Edward Cullen. And you're like, you go, dude. Crack a window or something in here. You ever hear of Febreze? Febreze is in here. You guys ever just jealous of gorgeous men? He probably has the dirtiest socks. Not one pair of socks that are white. That is insane. They're all brown. He may have skid marks, too. He might have skid marks. Why are you guys so insecure about a 19-year-old guy? I'm not insecure. Because of the skid marks. 19-year-old buff guy? You guys have a lot to say.
I think that his breath would smell like mustard. I would kiss that mouth. Gouldens mustard. Gouldens. Spicy brown. I bet he gets little pieces of bread stuck in between his teeth. You would go to kiss him and you would go, probably about 10 minutes ago, I think you let one fly. Then why? I'm not, because it's... It's there, but it's not there. It's there, but it's... Like, I smell deodorant and a little bit of fart. Why would Taylor Swift, who can have presumably almost anyone she wants, want him back? Look what she did. She wants him back. She made a mistake. Yeah, she wants him back so that he'll take her back so she can do it again. She wants him back because he's delicious. And write a new album about it. Yeah. Like, we've never been there. You guys are jealous. No, I'm not jealous. This is where this is coming from. I'm not. There's other people I can be jealous of. Listen. Listen. Who's the hottest... person in the world, man-wise. Johnny Depp. No. Not. Trash-talking comes from insecurity. I'm not talking trash. I'm making an observation. Jealousy and fear. I'm making an observation. My observation, when I saw him, I said to my wife, I go, it looks like it's mustard. Jealous. She goes, no. And Sienna agreed. Team Edward. Team Edward. Team Edward. Over here, for sure. On both teams. I can't believe we're on both teams. You can't be on both teams. Yes, I can. No, you can't. I'm a switch hitter. I got an email for you.
Tell me what you think of this. What would you do if this were the case, fellas? I know this is going to sound weird coming from a dad, but I'm jealous. Oh, that's not the right one. Sorry. I'm reading the wrong one. This is for later. Here it is. Okay, you ready? I had Jay put this one aside because I was like, this is good. It says, hey gang, my wife broke her leg, skiing, and has been going to physical therapy for three weeks now. I couldn't help but notice that she suddenly started dressing up for her appointments extra makeup new clothes i'm not stupid a bunch of young muscular physical therapists i know she's not cheating but am i wrong to tell her to relax am i just being insecure thanks m1 baseman um well first of all in any court case you must have evidence yes yeah okay if you're gonna win any court case you must have evidence
And you must have supporting evidence in order to have a conviction. And so if she's getting dressed up to go to an appointment and I'm the DA and that's what you present to me, I don't know that I'm ready to file a motion to convict. You're not taking that to the grand jury even. Because I don't think that we're going to get a conviction. No. You're not going to waste your time taking that to the G.J. Yeah. The G.J. Grand jury. The grand jury. I think you need more supporting evidence. Lots more. And now I will say to you, listen, I think we both know that we have a case here, but I'm going to need a little bit more in order for me to press charges. I wish we knew if he had taken her to her first appointment. And maybe he knows for a fact that there are young, muscular dudes there. Yeah, because the last thing you want is to get this going. And then the defense goes, really? Well, guess what? It's an all-women physical therapy, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I'd like to call to the stand Jane Austen, your physical therapist. Done. And you're done.
And you walk out of the courtroom like a moron. Yeah, like an idiot for making a big deal out of something. I have a feeling he might know. He might have taken her. I mean, I'm just putting, I'm just, you know, this is all circumstantial evidence that I'm presenting to the court. Circumstantial evidence, though. I would find out when her next appointment is. And I'd surprise her. Like, hey, good news. I can go with you. You would, though? Would you really do that? Oh, 100%. Oh, I wouldn't at all. I would show up and go with her. It's creepy. It's creepy. It's subversive. Psycho husband. Psycho husband. I'm going with you so we can spend some time together. Spend some time. You have ulterior motives. You're creepy. You're wanting to spy on her. And she knows you want to spy on her. Just let her be. She's okay. I always dress up for appointments. Not for physical therapy, though. If anything, I dress down for physical therapy. Maybe when you're going to see a certain chiropractor? I spoke to a men's group this weekend. I still spray a spritz of cologne. Yeah. Matt and I will be going to go for a hike or even go out to breakfast or something. He's like, what are you dressing up for? I'm like, I just don't want to go out of the house looking like a slob. Yeah.
Perfuma and stuff like that. What are you trying to sleep with everybody? We go to breakfast. Yeah, exactly. Couldn't he just like casually be like, oh, this is dressing up extra nice for these appointments and then just let it go. And then she's aware that he's aware. You know, I like when my wife comes down and she's all dolled up. I'm like, what if she doesn't do it for you? And she always does it for me. But what if she didn't? And what if she only did it for the therapy appointment? I got other stuff to argue about. And I'm so direct. I just go, how can we get all dressed up? Why are we so... Do you ask that? I wouldn't even ask. Well, if it was an issue to you... Yeah, it's true. It wouldn't bother me. But what... Okay, this guy, he's a little freaked out. I always wonder, when somebody has a problem, why not ask? Just say it. Why not just say it? Why do we always have to be... Like, Jay wants to go be subversive. What I'd do is I'd build a fort. That's right. The studio or the physical therapy place? Yeah. And I'd put Jasper up there with a pair of binoculars. Yeah. High-powered binoculars. And he'd be charting movements. Yeah. Who's coming in? Charting movements. What time is she getting there? What time is she leaving? Right. I'd follow her around like a PI. Well, maybe when you're too direct, your boyfriend will say, what is this, the Grand Inquisition? Yeah, if he does. What's with the questions? That's what I do. Please. That's what happens to me. So what's wrong with that?
I'm like, hey, I'm just curious. You be the girl. I'll be the guy. Okay. Easy enough. Hey, L.O.B. Yeah. You sure are dressed up. Where are you going? Me? Physical therapy. Like that? Yeah. You're all dressed up. I know. Nice. For the physical therapist? Yes. Why not? There's people there. I don't look like a slob. I know, but you changed. There's a lot of people that are there. I was wearing my sweats that I wear around the house. Were you? Yeah. I thought you were wearing jeans and what you wear every day. Well, that's what I wear to work. You know I don't care what anyone there thinks. These are strangers. I don't want to look like a slob. I don't think I'm worried anymore. Me neither. She just, yeah. Yeah. So you're going to go to physical therapy, but you're not going to wear sweats? Well, that was just, you know, for the role play. Yeah, but I think she would convince me. I bet it's about makeup and hair. It's about makeup and new yoga pants and stuff. Plus, she probably got her confidence back. She probably felt like a slouse with a broken leg. Yeah, maybe, right? You think something's going on? No, but I don't really necessarily think it's bad, even if...
the doctor was a young guy if she is dressing up doesn't know if she's doing anything and it could be that all the other patients like she maybe she felt like a slob originally because everybody else is like dressed up and looks nice my wife flat out says like if there's somebody coming over if it's a dude or whatever like she doesn't want to look like an you know she wants to look nice and it doesn't mean you want to do them doesn't mean you're trying to get you know she always does oh boy yay That was a really maniacal little lookie out of my face. That's creepy, Uncle Jake. What? Let's talk about your mom, Jakey. It's so strange and weird when he does it. I'm just saying she's pretty. I'm just saying I'd like to look at her through the window. And from my fort. From my fort. I'm just saying that she's pretty when she leaves every day at 3.02. I'm just saying her curves look nice through a reverse peephole.
She looks extra nice in the shower through the video camera I've installed. I'm just glad it's almost pool season. He's so uncomfortable. Yeah, brilliant. So, you know the bully kid? Yep. 12-year-old bully kid? Little Angel. No, no, no. No, the bully. Oh, I said the bullied kid. No, the bully. Oh, little punk. Yeah. Little punk B. The kid that punched the kid. Yeah. Well, he has now... We have audio of him. Talking about the incident. Oh. Now, things have calmed down. There's been time for retrospect. Is he sorry? Is he not sorry? We have audio of him either learning his lesson or not learning his lesson, and we'll play it for you next. Look, I like to skydive, and I love granola. What do you want from me, all right? I'm very athletic, adventurous, and healthy.
Look, I like to save people's lives and eat organic. So what? So what? So sue me. So we're going to play you the audio of that Australian bully that is viral now. Eight o'clock, we're going to be talking about the observation that Sienna made about older women and the boob job. And... The word of the day is butter. I have not said it yet. I'll work it into a sentence when I do. Caller 10. You get a four-pack of tickets to the Nationwide Series NASCAR. And you'll also get an MP3 compatible fleece from Rusty. They're cool. Okay, so the Australian bully kid. His name is Richard Gale. He's a bully. He punched this 16-year-old chubby kid in the face. Then the 16-year-old chubby kid picks him up and body slams him. It's probably the most viral video there is. And this is that 12-year-old boy speaking out. The bully. Are you sorry? No. Why not? Oh, yes. Some sideline coaching from an embarrassed father has Richard a little confused. Okay, so your dad's pretty keen for you to be sorry, but you're not really sorry at this stage. Why not?
Because he started on me first. Richard reveals, ironically, that he has also been bullied most of his life. He says he snapped and overreacted to Casey's taunts after years of being bullied himself. I got bullied at primary school. I always used to get teased, so I just snap like that now. So, yeah, when people say stuff, I just chase them and then hit them and stuff. Do you understand that by you... hitting that big boy, he might have been feeling exactly like you're feeling now. Yeah. A bit upset and sad and scared and worried. Yeah. It's kind of crazy that you hate feeling that way so much and then you do it to someone else. Reflecting on the fact that he and Casey may have a lot in common, remorse started to creep into Richard's veins. Sorry that I peaked on him and I didn't know that he's been bullied his whole school life. Yeah, that's about it. And if it's true, and I believe that it is, I believe that kid probably was a victim of being bullied. There is something ironic and something that I've noticed. And you guys may notice, too. You notice a lot of times bullies become bullies. You know, people that are bullied become bullies. I mean, it is true. In fact, I found this out that a lot of adults and.
And young adults. I used to have this misperception that the more benevolent somebody seemed, nerdy, the more harmless they were. And, like, I'd feel sorry for them. I'd see them as an outcast and I'd think, oh, this poor person. Only to find out that they're some of the most vicious, cruel, vitriolic, spiteful, venomous people I've ever met. And a lot of it is because they were picked on. So you can either go one of two ways. Either you turn into the hero because you used to be a zero, or you turn into a mean person because you've been picked on. One of the two things happens. I may be a monster, but I...
I don't believe that kid. I'm kind of with you, Sienna. I'm sorry, but in the beginning, the first thing he said was, are you sorry? And he said no. If he was bullied, he would see and be sorry. But he might feel really embarrassed that he was body slammed and everybody in the world took the advocate's side. Let's say the kid was, just for the sake of argument, let's say that he was telling the truth and he has been a... He's been bullied. Now, I've seen the kid. He looks like the kind of kid that would be bullied. He's the scrawny little kid. He's the scrawny little kid. He looks like a kid that would be bullied. But the way he's acting in that video didn't look like he was being... Dancing around. He's dancing around all in his face. It was very taunting. It wasn't like... No doubt about it. And the reason that I think that he was is because he finally found somebody that he could bully. Yeah. He could pick on. Here's the thing, though. Who hasn't been bullied? A lot of people. A lot of people. Really? Yes. I mean, everybody I know was... Everybody at our school was bullied at one point. There's always somebody bigger than you. Were you bullied, Sienna? I mean, girls were mean sometimes, yeah. But were you bullied? I wasn't bullied. Girls are bullied in a different way, I think. Well, not physically, no, never. Woodsy was bullied. I was not bullied. How were you not bullied? I wasn't bullied. I've told you before on the air that I've been open about being sexually abused when I was a kid. I wasn't bullied. No one ever gave you a just...
I wasn't bullied. That's wild. I mean, dude, trust me. I'd tell you. I must have had a big mouth because that's all I did get. I just got beat up and bullied and pushed around. There was a difference in fighting and there was a difference in breaking balls with your buddies than being bullied. Physically sick because you didn't want to go to school. Bullied is when you're taunted and people are waiting for you and they're bullying you. And that kid, I think that if he was bullied... And then finally got his opportunity to bully somebody in his little 12 year old mind. Hey, paybacks a B. Yeah. And, you know, he said that that kid had said some stuff to him. Maybe that's if that's true. Maybe he's like, hey, paybacks a B. Yeah. I mean, and again, you know, if that if the bigger kid had done something to him and said something to him. Sienna's right, because the fact that he's dancing and showing off for his friends and just popping jabs in the guy's face doesn't lead me to believe, as somebody that's been bullied, that that kid had ever said anything to him. He's standing there with his arms crossed, just minding his business. He's probably like, and I think he's lying when he says, I didn't realize he'd been bullied his whole school life. I think that the little chubby kid was probably like...
the token like, okay, let's pick on this guy. And so he was like, here's somebody that I can start and people are going to be behind me on this because everybody makes fun of whoever the chubby kid was. Agreed. I think that's what it was. And I think it's not, you know, it's a 12-year-old rationale. I agree with what you said, Mike. And the first time I saw that video, we watched it. So you're saying you don't think that that little 12-year-old punk, and he is. He's a punk. He's a punk. No doubt. Looks like the kind of kid be bullied to me, but not by that. Oh, yeah. No, I think they were both bullied. And I think that his rationale was like, oh, yeah, well, the cool kids are going to talk to me, but I can still beat up this guy. I think it's an unfortunate circumstance. Like I was going to say, the first time we saw it or I saw it off the air, the whole thing just made me sick. I wasn't like, yeah, because I'm like, that's two kids that are getting hurt and that are in like. that's just what happens at school, and I remember those days, and it's not fun. I was stoked when I saw it. I was like, good for you. Yeah. Good for you. My initial reaction was, like, sickened, because I'm like, I wouldn't want to be the mother of either of those kids watching that. M1, Michelle from Vista. Hey, I just wanted to add, maybe just from a female point of view, but at that age, I was completely tortured, completely tortured in school.
I have to say from the time I was 11 until I was 22, life was terrible. And I don't know if it was my naivety. I don't know what it was. But I just have to say, having that much pain inflicted on me as a human being, I would never, ever in a million years even think of doing the same thing to someone else just because it was so completely, completely torturous. I mean, we're talking, you know, years of therapy. because of kids doing that kind of thing. And I think that the one who says, oh, I didn't know he was bullied, that's a bunch of crap because I think bullies are liars and they're mean and they're evil and they're viperous. And I think unless they get help right away and they're going to end up as adults like that. And I don't know, I don't have much sympathy having been on the other end of it. Yeah, and I agree with you that I think that I think he's lying when he says that he didn't know the kid was picked on. He's an absolute liar. There's no question. I always do because we know what they do is they find your weakness and they pull it out of you and then they use it against you. Yep.
I think there's a difference, too, between being bullied and being picked on. I believe that this bully, this kid that I was just talking, was picked on. Maybe, like, he was a freshman and seniors are like, oh, look at you, little runt. You know, like that. I don't think that's bullying. I think someone specifically going after you day after day, that's bullying. And I think that's what this little kid did to the bigger guy. It's not bullying. I think he was picked on. And most guys, Mike, apparently you're an exception. Like every freshman guy I remember was getting picked on by the older kids and pushed and whatever. Listen, and I will say this. There's a lot of things about Gilroy High School where I went to school that were different. But I remember popular kids that didn't get picked on. Yeah, and there's a huge difference between getting picked on and getting bullied. And being bullied is being singled out. If everyone's getting shoved into a locker just because you're a freshman, then you don't feel as singled out. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. When you're the one getting like... zeroed in on and i you know i know i i took part in things you know girls are mean kids all kids at that middle school age are so their hormones are raging and they're everyone can all be mean at sometimes and i remember if i didn't want to spend my time in the barrel if like the the mean girl
was like, yeah, look at her. Isn't she whatever? Then I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would sometimes jump on the bandwagon as a mean girl because you're like, well, I don't want to be the one singled out. It was survival. You had to do that sometimes. I'm just saying there's a possibility that this kid was being egged on by maybe even the kids that were originally bullying him. I don't know. You can see it. I coach little leaguers, 12-year-olds, 12, 11-year-olds. So this, for me, I see it. And I have a team of 12 guys. They don't all go to the same school. They don't all know the same people. They don't all come from the same economic background. And there are cliques on my team. And I can see them. So one thing I always try to encourage is, dude, don't run mouth to your teammate. Don't ever snap at your teammate. Ever. For anything. We're a gang. The other guys are a gang. Our gang, let's go beat their gang in a fair game of baseball. But don't run your mouth to... Other kids on this team, these are your teammates. Like they'd pick on them? Yeah. Not pick, but you can see like three people talking smack against one. And it makes me sad and it makes me mad. And I don't stand for it. I go, you know, I'm trying to see the difference between picking on and bullying because to me it seems the same. Man, it's like the lines blur.
when it's picked on. Like, I used to pick on my brother, but I don't think I bullied him. I didn't scare him. You're scared when your brother does. Well, okay, I would pick on younger kids, but I wouldn't scare them. I would also put my arm around them after I kind of broke their balls a little bit. Like the younger kids on the baseball team, we'd pick on them and stuff, but then you... And there's a lightheartedness to it. When you're being bullied, it's like... They weren't scared. Our coach would encourage you to... talk down to the bad players on the team. Even in the NFL, I forget the sports player's name who was complaining because he wouldn't carry the other guy's equipment off the field. And they were picking on him because he was the new person on the team. And that's what is done every year to the new players. That's not bullying. That's picking on. It's hazing. So I guess picking and hazing are close to the same thing. Hazing happens when you're on the same team. Bullying happens when you're on the enemy. And the other important distinction is if you're scared, either for your health, your well-being, your mental state, that you're being bullied. If you're like, I'm great. Look who's here. He's going to break my balls. He's going to give me a hard time. That's different. But if you're scared, it's different. M1, Rich is from Sereno Valley. You there? Good morning. Good morning. That this little guy, the little chubby kid, picked the guy up and just body slammed him.
Just think about the feeling that little guy had when he freaking did that. He just probably felt, you know, I'm so sick of this. Bam, done. I don't think he'd do it again. But it's just being picked on. And if you're constantly poked at and picked on and poked on and picked on and you're constantly bullied, there's a point where you're just going to snap. Yeah. I saw my daughter do it. My daughter was getting picked on at school by another little girl. And my daughter refused, refused. I'm like, Allie, do something about it. I'm like. She's like, well, Mom, you told me not to hit. You told me not to do this. And, of course, we teach our children at a young age you don't hit other people. You don't do this. You don't do that. And she's gone to the school about it and everything. And I was like, you just need to do something, Allie. Use your words or something to get her to stop. But my daughter, of course, refuses. I figure one day she's just going to snap and do something. And, unfortunately, it's sad that they do snap and do something. But maybe that's what this little guy needed or the chubby kid needed. in order to get over that little hump that people stopped picking on him. Hey, thank you, Riches. We appreciate the call. I've told you, man. You know, as a dad of an autistic kid, and granted, you know, Jake is real high-functioning autistic, but I still don't know where I am, man. I still don't know where I am. It's so easy to have different rules for everybody else, and then when it comes to your kid, you're like, well, if it were my kid, I'd want him to punch back. Well, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, my deal is...
I'm not saying that. But I'm also not saying, I don't know. I don't know. I know. I'm very conflicted. I think for most people, it's real easy. It's like, oh, yeah, somebody does that to you. You know, you just take them out. Go. Yeah, you take them out. And I'm at this thing where I'm like, well, I'm kind of at that thing where we're like, hey, man, don't hit. Don't, don't, don't. I know. You turn the other cheek. I think even if you teach your kid don't hit and you don't want them to, if they're bullied enough. You can't stop the snapping that goes on inside. And I think you just get this superhuman power that you just can't control. Oh, Sienna, you don't think I fantasize about running into one of the four guys that bullied me when I was a kid? You don't think I have looked them up, know where they are? You don't think that one day I would want to walk down the street and go, hey, look who's here, Andy Colpitt. And just one shot. It's not premeditated. It's 20 years. You said it. But listen, it was 20 years of in my head, like, screw you guys. You know what I mean? Would you really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He probably wouldn't. Oh, yeah. You'd get arrested. Okay. Yeah. I mean, dude, I have to. I was the kind of guy. I'm not going to go look for him, but if I run into him, I'll either get real nasty with the old.
Tongue or I'll take it to the junior high when it started on me. I snapped on one guy and I choked him. And then they were like, that dude's crazy. He's crazy. You got to that point. Yeah, I got to that point. So, can't wait to tell you about this thing that Sienna, you heard it, right? Yeah. You didn't see it for yourself. I haven't seen it, but I heard that it happens. It has to do with breast augmentation surgery. Hello, babe. Well, because you have big jugs. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, a judge has ordered Jared Lee Loeffner to undergo a mental evaluation at a specialized facility in Missouri as soon as possible to determine. Now, this is the guy from the Arizona shooting, in case you didn't know who Jared Lee Loeffner was. And he is facing 49 counts, including murder and attempted murder. And he's pleading temporary insanity. So he has to go through this.
evaluation right also a texas man 25 years old construction worker who was uh very disfigured in a 2008 power line accident has undergone the first Full face transplant, which has been done in the U.S. Wow. He got a new nose, lips, skin, muscle, and nerves from a deceased donor in an operation. This was a 15-hour operation, more than 30 doctors. I wonder if that's weird to have someone else's face in it. There had been one done before in Spain, a full face operation transplant, but this is the first done in the U.S. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, so are you familiar with the Madden curse? Have you heard of the Madden curse? Okay, so basically the bit with it, if you're not familiar with it, is the cover of John Madden football on Xbox, on PS3. Every year it comes out and it's got a new player on it. Right. Well, traditionally, the next year, the guy has either played terribly, he's gotten hurt, Mike Vick was on it, broke his leg, and then got caught murdering dogs and all kinds of stuff. It's been like crazy how last year, I think, was the first year nothing happened. So this year.
What they've decided is each team has a representative. Now, the Patriots and the Colts have already said, it ain't Tom Brady and it ain't Peyton Manning. You understand? We're not putting those guys even up for a vote. They're going to leave it to the fans to vote this year. Woodsy, think about it, though. If they put every player from every team, there might not be any football this year, remember? Oh, yeah, but that's not why they're doing it. I know, but curse. Oh, the curse, yeah. If there's no football this season, The Madden curse still holds true. Well, they're not going to put everybody on there. No, but every team. Every team. And the whole NFL. But no, they're going to vote for one. You see what I'm saying? One team? Each team has a representative. So you're the representative for the Colts. I'm the representative for the Chargers. So does that mean that on the cover? We vote for one. You vote for one on the cover. So instead of Peyton Manning.
Dwight Freeney is your choice for the Colts. And instead of Tom Brady for the Patriots, Danny Woodhead is going to be the representative for the Patriots. So they are not messing around with this Madden curse anymore. I thought that was a pretty crazy story. Even the teams themselves are like, no. Yeah, no. Tom, you're not going to go on there. Why don't just don't put anyone on the cover? Yeah, maybe put a football on there or something. Maybe put John Madden. Yeah. Put John Madden on there since it's Madden football. Put some X's and O's and call it a day. So also yesterday, the NFL owners went down. The NFL owners went down to New Orleans for the NFL owners meeting, and the head of the NFL Owners Association, Jeff Pasch, has an interesting theory about the NFL Players Association. He is basically saying they didn't really dissolve. They're still acting like a union. We don't believe that that has, in fact, taken place. We believe it's a tactical move by the NFL Players Association. We believe they're continuing to function. as a labor organization it's getting gnarly they're doing a lot of uh finger pointing back and forth and the bottom line is the one place that they're not is in the boardroom figuring this thing out it's a lot of you know he said he said yeah it's getting crazy i don't expect football to be here this year by the way at all all the stuff i've read i'm like no there's no way they're gonna get a deal hammered out there's no way nick woodsey's right
Can you imagine a September morning waking up on a Sunday and not having football to go watch? No. I'll lose my mind. No way. It'd be awful. Whatever, Jay. Jay doesn't watch football. I don't like sports if I'm not playing. September morning. We got no football here. We'll just sit here on our cans and do nothing. Like a regular Sunday morning. Oh, boy. So deep. So deep. You cut so deep. So quick and deep. M1 Nova Boy from Ramona. What was the word of the day? Like butter. Well done, my friend. Thank you. You got a four-pack of tickets, by the way, to the NASCAR Nationwide Series, and you got that rusty hoodie that's got the MP3 headphones in it. It's cool. Oh, cool. Hang on. Thank you, bro. Hang on. Okay, so... Oh, by the way, go to MikeyShow.com. Vote on your favorite breakfast place. Voting is up right now. And we're going to crown an official M1 favorite breakfast place. Now, you have five choices. Broken Yolk, Honey's, Hash House, Potato Shag, and DZ Akins. So vote on them right now. Hash House is in the lead. Weird. Just so you know. They're so good.
Maybe if they win, they open up some more locations. Yeah. In different parts of the county. In my backyard. I would love that. On Steven Spielberg's yacht. Could do. Sure, we'll all be invited to that. Sienna says her sister stopped over over the weekend and told Sienna something that shocked her. One of her friends, one of Sienna's friends, Sienna's sister's friend's grandmother got a boob job. My sister's in high school and grandma's in 50s is what my sister guessed. Oh. Just got one. Bring on the biggins. Here's the thing. The boob job has now been popular and a part of American culture for at least 25 years, if not more. So you are now getting into the day and age where you're seeing a lot of grandmas with the boob jobs. It's a true story. Do they stay up? Of course they do.
What are they going to do? Deflate? That's the purpose. They can't sag because they're not real. They're full of silicone. They stay on the chest, but can the skin sag? Yeah, but the skin would sag around it. I think they still come down. I have a friend, a couple friends whose moms have boob jobs, and they're into their 60s now. Right, right. And they complain because boobs were very different, fake boobs back then. They're rock hard. Silicone. Yeah. And the skin does kind of sag around the hard boob. Around the hard boob? Yeah. I think it depends on if it's under the muscle. There's different types. Teardrops? Teardrop? There's a kind called teardrop? That's the kind I have. I thought you had the banana. It was a strange one, wasn't it? Wow. Wow. That's a weird thing to say. Yeah. The banana. Don't you have the banana tees, Mike? Mike, you got the... Do you have the stars? Stars on ice. Starfish. Stars on ice. You got the starfish tees, don't you? Right, Mike? Don't you have those heart ones? I love you. Snail boobies? Snail.
Cheese cans. Cheese cans. That's what they call you, didn't they, Mike? And I'm a mouse. That's right. You got cheese cans. That's the way the mice will. I have a ball of yarn. Cheese headed. I'll be dumb if you're Jerry. I like the pack. Sex. Mike has boobies. Well, anyway. Ouch. This brings up a question, right? The question is, should you stop getting those? Is it too old? Is it too old? Okay. So if we decide that it's too old, which I can tell by the looks on everyone's face that we have, what's the cutoff? It's tough because, okay, my mom got all butt hurt yesterday because she's telling me about...
Someone that I grew up with, their parents, after 35 years, they're getting divorced. And they're in their late 50s or something. And I go, I mean, at this age, what's the point? Wow. What's that supposed to mean? I guess I just think of my own parents so settled in their ways. I can't picture them ever going and dating and doing stuff. But there's a lot of people not in that position that are like, hey, I still look good. What did my mom say when I said that? I love you. Do you love me? What did she say? She said, what is that supposed to mean? And what did you say? I was like, well, they're just so, I mean, aren't you used to each other? You're like, you know, old and crusty. Old, crusty, cobwebs. Dried up, you know, cobwebs. Like a prune. Like an old basement. You know what I mean? Mom, you know, like an old catcher's mitt. Like, you know, like in Kansas, the storm cellars, you lift them up. What it looks like down there. Yeah. You know? That is not even what I mean. Mom, I didn't mean it like you think. I meant like a storm drain. Right, like a storm drain.
I didn't mean it like that, and that's how she took it. But I guess I pictured either one of my parents, who have been married for over 35 years, going to try to date anyone. And I was like... But if you're that age and you're still like, you know, she seems like young at heart. The grandma is married, I think. I don't think she's single. Is there anything creepier than a movie where two old people are... dating and they're sitting at a table and they're talking like sexy talk and rubbing hands and they're like, you know, they're rubbing hands. I don't mind it. Weird. Are you talking about that movie that I showed you with me and Kim? Kim is a young lady. Yeah, so you both are. It's just a joke. Both young ladies? Oh, like the notebook when they're kind of kissing and caressing a little bit. It's a little, it's weird. Or how about, how about in Titanic where it's right after the nude scene and it goes to the, she goes to the old woman and she's like, I remember that day as if it were just yesterday. Oh yes, I remember. I was so turned on at the time. She was like 90 though. Oh yes, I remember Jack. He was a lovely boy. Let me let my hair down.
Let me let all my gray, silky, white hair fall over my... Well, they're not there anymore, are they? I got a booter. It's okay, Mike. It's okay. Well played, Jay. Why, thank you. And scene. And scene. Amazing. Amazing. It's like he comes up and grabs my D-cell and pulls it right out. Whoa. I never touched your D-cell. It's incredible. Incredible. Of course Jay finds her attractive. They used to date. I knew her as a child. She's my great grandchild. Can I tell you guys a story? I've been debating in my mind if I should say it during this. We're going to weird out. What? When I was in fifth grade. It has to do with old people being romantic. Oh, boy. I gotta know. I gotta know now. Now I gotta know. Now I gotta know. Old people can be romantic. I have told Todd this story and Todd only. Till today. I know. I know what it is then. No, you don't. I have an idea. You walked in. Okay. It's worse. I might. She's beet red, by the way, listening audience. Looks like a tomato. Oh, my gosh. She's splashing. Okay. Please tell us. I went to Rosarito with.
My whole family, when I was in fourth or fifth grade. Oh, no. My grandma had just gotten remarried. I was, you know, fourth or fifth grade. My grandma had just gotten married. And we all go down to Rosarito. And we have, like, this big suite in a hotel. And there's, like, a living room and a bunch of bedrooms. And it was during the middle of the day on a beautiful summer day, and my whole family went down to the beach, but I wasn't feeling well. I don't remember why. Montezuma's Revenge? I don't know what was wrong, but I was in the hotel room with my grandma and my new grandpa. Oh, boy. How old was she? My grandma? Yeah. A grandma. How old then? 60s. Oh, wow. Okay, go ahead. And I wasn't feeling well, so I took a nap on the couch. And my grandpa... He was sitting at the computer. There was like a laptop or a computer or he was reading a book. I don't remember exactly what he was doing. I tried to block it out of my mind. And so I'm lying on the couch sleeping. And I kind of... I'm a really light sleeper. It's so awful. No. No. Not that. No, it wasn't that. It wasn't that.
But my grandma came out of the bathroom. She had just taken a shower, and she had a towel wrapped around. Oh, God. You know, like the women wrap around just the towel under their arms over their boobs? Yes. I do that, too. So does Mikey. They had just gotten married, so things were, like, exciting. Of course. And she thought I was sleeping. Yes. And thank God her back was to me. Yeah. But I saw her look at him. I mean, my eyes opened just for a second, and then I closed him, and she opened your tongue. You look pretty good, are you real? her new husband like yeah and they closed it and they like knew I was there so nothing else happened but I was like oh my gosh how and I've never I seriously told Todd that story like a month ago enormous huge and I was my grandma trying to be sexy oh my grandpa loving it What do you think, Abger? Oh. I'm so scarred. Like what you see. Oh, gosh. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. They just got married, but there's so much wrong with it at the same time. Oh. Peek-a-boo. Oh, my gosh. It was like a quick like, woo, and then close.
Anyone have any beads? I wish I had just stayed asleep. You know what they say, they don't run. And they gallop. I know. It's that grandma too. I love you so much, grandma. I gotta go. I love you so much, grandma. I have to go home. I have to leave. I sat there for five minutes talking about this and I'm like, do I say it? I have to go. Darling. Take a picture. Last longer. He was like, oh, okay. No, he was all in. He was all in. I think there was a comment thrown back. I'm like, just keep your eyes closed. They think you're sleeping. I wish I could forget it. Never stare at the boobies, kid. I'd go into therapy. I would be in therapy if I had seen something. Thank God. Listen, I need to go to therapy now. I just heard the story. Just think if you wouldn't have been there. Oh, my gosh. Don't think about that. I don't want to think about that. Should we take calls from people that ever walked in on their grandparents or anything? No. My boyfriend, Matt Commerce, BFMC, he plays music in nursing homes. And he says there's still some funny business that goes on.
Like sneaking out of their rooms and stuff. Actually, he works or he plays music at one of the facilities that Sienna's other grandmother is in. And he says she's been proposed to like. Yeah, she's been proposed to like four times. Four times. There's usually less guys. Less guys than there are women. So the guys are pretty popular. Oh, yeah. They love her. Oh, my gosh. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Wrong, sir. Wrong. No, it's on. Just think about how creepy Jay is now. When he's like an old man, it's going to be whatever he feels like saying is going to be out there. No, men die first. Yes, true. It's because they want to. But old men that are perverts when they're younger are so, they say the creepiest. Did you ever see the movie Seven? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Remember the guy that was starving to death in the bed? Oh, yeah. Jay will be dying. And he'll look like that dude, okay? And he'll be like, Kim, one last time. One last time. It's one last time. What do you say? I say that every night. Nurse. Nurse. What is it? What is it? I have nice boobies. They come in. They go, I'm sorry, but it's about to end. That's.
He's so creepy. He is. He's so creepy. Lovely. Have you ever had to pay your kid to do something? Like tricks that you do to get your kids to do stuff? Oh, yeah. Jay's actually got a good one for getting stuff. Like if you want your kids to retrieve something for you because you're too lazy to get it. I pay them in Canadian quarters. They don't know better. They got no idea. We'll tell you about it next. Lloyd Cole and the commotions. Jared. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. Rattlesnakes. Is the name of it. If you're in the market. Do you ever try to get your kids to do stuff so you pay them? Or you do something to chuck them into doing something? Yeah. I thought it was Jay's, but it wasn't Jay's. It was yours, Sienna. Oh, no. This is brilliant. What is it? When my little sisters were really little.
And they would do whatever I would say. I would want the remote or I would want them to go get me a sandwich or something out of the kitchen. And they'd be like, no, I'm not doing that. And it's like, I'll time you. I'll time you. Oh, yeah. And they're like, okay. See if you can do it in 20 seconds. One. And they just run and take off and they get it. It's brilliant. And not only do they get it, but they get it quick. Oh, yeah. That's brilliant. It's great. And they're like, what time? And I would just make up a number. 19 seconds. You made it. You don't do that to Jakey? Not yet. The timing? You need to. You need to get him running around the house for you. I have him get me the remote, but he's cool with it. Like, it's not at that point yet where he's like, Dad, shut up, Dad. Yeah, but even, yeah, he'll fight back eventually. He'll fight back. Eventually, I'll want him to get me, like, a glass of water. An enchilada out of the fridge, maybe. Enchilada. Stick of butter. Your cell phone upstairs in your bedroom or something like that. Pick some jalapenos. A stick of butter. You may be hungry. Well, contrary to popular belief, I do not just munch on a stick of butter. You eat the pads of butter. You eat out of the country crock. I eat out of the country crock. I eat margarine. I'm not a monster. I'm not disgusting. Another one of the really good...
things to do with your kids is when you're in the car and say you have a few kids, like road trips, and they're just so annoying and being so loud and, hey, let's play the quiet game. The first one to talk is out. And they're like, oh, silence. How long does it work? Five minutes. No, sometimes it lasts long. Not with Jasper. That kid loves to talk. So does Jake. But when they're competing, I mean, I was a competitive little kid, so I wouldn't say a word. That's weird. Jasper goes, lost. I'm not at all. I lost. Yeah, I lost. Yeah, big whoop. Yeah. Jake talks a lot, and it really gets Rebecca going. It doesn't bother me at all. No? But that was my bit. When I was a kid, I used to ask questions I knew the answer to. And my brother would get really irritated at me. That's Jake's bit. He asked questions that he knows the answers to. And like yesterday he said, because he noticed that he said, he was talking about his mom's hair. And then he said that I don't have hair. And then he said, does Uncle Steve have hair? And he knows Uncle Steve doesn't. He's picking people that he knows doesn't have hair. And I go, no. And he goes, does Uncle Woods not have hair? No, bub.
You know that Uncle Woods does have hair. Maybe he's just trying to make sure he understands the concept of not having hair. Is he? He's making conversation. M1 Remote from Miramar. Hey, what's going on? What's up? My little boy is two years old, okay? And even if I'm not really watching TV, if my wife and I are in the living room watching TV, my son will go over, grab the remote, and bring it over and give it to me, even if I don't ask him. for it. He just knows that Daniel has a little angel. That is a good boy. I didn't teach him that or anything. Didn't you? That's awesome. Thank you, dude. One thing my dad used to do, if he wanted me to scratch his back because it itched, he would be like, let me see who's better. And he would have me and my sister do a different one. That's awesome. Oh, my gosh. That's awesome. I would give quarters and stuff, too, to my sisters in their little. Because when little kids, if you say, I'll give you a quarter, they're like, oh, yeah. I think it's so much. I will do that. Because they get to drop it in their piggy bank. Oh, yeah. My mom used to bribe me for everything. I mean, that's how I grew up. Hey, if you're good, I'll buy you a new book or whatever. That was just a thing, right? Books, yeah. I mean, toy, I was like, eh, whatever. But books, I was like, all right, I'll be good. And I would just sit there. We do the count thing. If you don't do one.
Two. And if you get to three, they're in trouble. But you never get to three. Yeah. I do that, too. My mom once gave me, and this is no BS. Somebody had given her. It goes in the front hallway, like, of your house. You walk in. It looks like a butler. But it was really ugly. From Bombay. Yeah, Bombay Company. It was fugly. Okay, this thing is disgusting. They're awful. Holding the tray, right? And she's like. will you take that to the mall? I was like 16. I was like, no, I'm not going to the mall. She's like, I'll give you $100. Take it to the mall. I don't get it. Return it for her. Return it. She gave me $100 to do the errand for her because I was like, I'm not walking in the mall. What if somebody sees me? That doesn't surprise me because Mikey still does that for you. That's true. Mikey still pays you to watch movies with him. You know that the last movie I paid him to watch, he didn't get paid because he came over and he didn't watch the whole movie. Did he make a deposit? It was Inception. I gave it back to him. Oh, you gave back to him. I gave back his deposit. Yeah. Deposit. He had to return the money. I did. Yeah. Because I only watched 20 minutes. Yeah. And it was uninspiring. Maybe you just be a friend and don't have to get paid. Uninspiring. Maybe you don't worry about it. Uninspiring. Maybe it was uninspiring. It was not. You should go over there, Lauren, and watch the movie with you. Yeah. I've never been asked to watch a movie, and I've already seen and hated that movie. I would.
I would give my left arm if L.O.B. went over to your house and watched the movie. It would never happen. I'm not interested. I'm not interested. I'm interested in you coming over and having bonding time to watch a cool movie. It's not cool. I wish I knew how to quit you. Really? Is it gay? No, it's not gay. Because I want to watch a movie with my friend. No, it's just mean to say specifically that you don't want to watch a movie with me. I don't want you. Inception was not a dumb movie. I didn't say it was. It was not an awful movie. I didn't say that. She said she hated it. I used strong language. I disliked it. You think you didn't like it. I know it. No, you don't. And the reason that you don't know is because right now, L.O.B., this isn't real. You're dreaming. You see, you actually loved it, and then you hated it. And that's you loving it. It's me falling asleep. How dare you. I fell asleep. I almost did. Twice. I only got a few minutes into it. You guys opened your minds. I loved it. My mind was wide open and it got polluted by this overrated, overproduced, over effect movie. Wow. You're out of your minds. I was so underwhelmed I almost fainted. That is a strong statement. I almost fainted. That is so over the top. You see.
The way that it works is you go so deep into your subconscious that you don't know that your subconscious is creating what's around you. That's why the architect is so important. You see, the architect designs what you don't know. Now, if you see someone that's staring at you, the reason that they're staring at you is because they're almost like antibodies trying to fight off what your subconscious knows. What? Can you repeat that whole thing? Don't indulge him. Will you repeat that whole thing? Don't indulge him. I didn't catch one second. I fell asleep. I'll hear a subconscious. Yeah, the chick in the movie is talking to Leonardo DiCaprio. She's like, this is so boring. I don't really get what you want me to do. He's like, I want you to get into the minds of it. She's like, lame sauce. Don't say that. Someone needs to get into your dreams and tell you not to say lame sauce. Agreed. We're going to try to get into this Mexican's mind. Only we're going to go so deep that you're going to have to introduce a thought. The thought is lame sauce is stupid. But it's going to be difficult because he believes that lame sauce is cool. So it's going to be hard. It can be dumb. How? How do you do it?
The way that you do it is you're going to eat pets. Sorry, I just woke up. Nice little nap. That's a great snooze. I often will go cruising on On Demand and I pass it and I'm like, yep, nope, not going to do it. Can't do it. Can't do it. I gave it 20 minutes and then I had practice, Little League practice. I had to go that day. If you watched it to the end, it would make you cry. Oh my gosh, you are a drama queen. Cry? It's so heartbreaking. What? It's a love story. I'll do it for 100. It is not. It's a stupid story. L.O.B. It's a great story. Did you fall asleep? You know it's a love story. Do you know the love story? Ultimately, what Hollywood movie is not a love story? Hong Kong. Do you know what the love story is? Be honest. Between him and the dead chick?
Who's the dead chick? Wait, don't be giving things away. I forget who she was. It's not giving it away. That's not giving it away. One day I might watch it. The girl, his wife. It's his wife. Yeah, I know. It's so sad. Well, now you know seeing that his wife is actually dead. No, you know that. I didn't. It's on the cover. Well, the movie was originally called Inception because my wife is dead. That was the original title of the movie. No, but it's so sad. And you kind of leave it in a mystery. It's so good. Anyway, people are calling. It took us three hours to get there. No. Oh, boy. M1AJ from Ramona. Hey, how's it going, Mikey Show? Good. Good. So, yeah, I got the best one. My older brother used to make me clean up his room and do his chores because he would say he was putting me in robot mode. And I had a... he would act like I had some kind of like Darth Vader like plate on my chest and he'd like press buttons he'd be like now I'm putting you in like hyper speed brilliant that's the best you have to clean my room you robot decree and like I'm like oh my gosh I'm a robot and like wow that was I did something I wish my brother was listening I hope he's listening
I had fingers, and if you pulled on different, like, fingers, I would turn into a different character. It's excellent. Yeah. It's fun and productive. Exactly. So I wasn't doing anything, like... I didn't want to clean my own room, but I wanted to clean my brother's room because I'm like, if I do that, I'm a robot. It's brilliant. It's incredible. You're a robot. Bring us some donuts. I did this when I would babysit because it was more fun that way. So, like, this one, my pinky finger, I think, was the robot. No, it was the princess. It was the princess. I'd give anything for you to do. It was the robot. Can you put enough of your pride down right now? Oh, yeah. All right, let me pull a finger. Okay, I don't remember all of them, though. But be them like you really were. This is a wonderful world. And I can talk to you and interact with you? Yes, you can. What is your name? I am the princess. Pull another finger. Who are you? It's a stinky finger. I am the maple monster. Okay, pull another finger. Who are you? Hello, I am White Hand. You're White Hand? Yes, I am White Hand.
What are you, White Hand? White Hand, don't go away. This is really happening. Please don't go away, White Hand. White Hand, please don't go away. White Hand. White Hand. White Hand. White Hand. White Hand. White Hand. White Hand. White Hand. White Hand. We need you. Come here, White Hand. We need you. White Hand. What happens when we find Black Hand? White Hand. White Hand. White Hand. White Hand. Talk to me. What are you doing, White Hand? I am in love with your sister. You are? Yes. Why? My sister. She is so beautiful. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. White Hand, where are you from? We never established. We never established. Mikey, will you ask her what it is? Yeah, where are you, White Hand? Are you man or woman? I'm a man. You're a man. You're a man, White Hand. Are you Native American? Yes, White Hand. Are you Native American? I don't know what I have. You don't know what you have. It hasn't been established. It's the first thing that came to mind. Right. Okay. And what I like to do is I like to steal your other sister, Stacy. Yeah. And we go off and we try to make Brad, your brother, jealous. Okay. Got it. That's white hand. White hand. What is it? Give me another finger. I don't remember any of those. Yes, you do. Okay. There's one more I remember. One more. I would do this.
Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate wide hand. Isolate beeping. Wait. Could we talk to that beep boop beep boop person? Hi. What is your name? My name is Roman. What are you doing? I am here to slowly start to touch you and I would go like this. Uh oh. Wait a minute. Mommy told me you are not allowed to do that. Yeah. No. Stranger danger. Oh my gosh. No, it's okay. I would just put my hand on your face and I would irritate you. Do the beep boos again. Beep boop, beep boop, beep boop. Every time you heard those beep boos, it was the pervert thing.
She doesn't to her boyfriend, Matt Commerce. He's like, babe. He's drunk. He's like, babe, babe, babe. Give me your finger. The one finger was the monster, and sometimes my wires would get crossed. Oh, boy. And Brad, my brother, would pull on the pinky to try to get. The princess was his favorite because I liked him the best. So he'd try to get the princess, but sometimes my wires would get crossed, and I'd go. Hey, babe, what happened? White hand. White hand. White hand. White hand. White hand. White hand. I am white hand. Every time he pulled the white hand finger out. How has it been a year and four months before we heard this? Mikey, the meeting at Potato Shack with you that she had, I was like, all right, so I do this thing where you pull my finger and I become different characters. The first thing, you're hired. You're hired. You're hired. You're in. I don't have to think about it. It's been like 14 months. I used to do another one. This is a monster thing. I used to do this one. Now, my little sister and I shared a room and she has Down syndrome.
And she would get really rowdy before bed. She would be like, woo! And like, want to like jump on the bed and play with toys and stuff like that. So I used to be like, if you make any more noise, you have to watch me sleep. And she would be like, no, no, no, no, no. I'd be like, yep, then you have to watch me sleep. Wait, watch you sleep was a punishment? She'd have to stand. And I would be like, I would pretend. I would like squint my eyes and go. And then she thought I would nod off, so she would slowly back up and go back to her bed. And I go, hey, come back here. Wow. L.O.B. is like, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we are joined now by Lauren O'Brien. Oh. Who brought you White Hand. Who expected that? I thought you were going to say prince or something. She brought you princess. She brought you beepoo beepoo. Monster. Robot. Monster and robot. And white hand. And white hand. You had to say white hand like this. I am white hand. White hand. White hand. And she brought us white hand. Oh my gosh. You said white hand for the first time, but all of us were like, what? What did she say? I am white hand.
She couldn't have said White Hand. My little brother didn't like it when White Hand came because we would ignore him and I would be like, come with me, Stacy. Let's leave this fool behind. Brad was like, freaking go away, White Hand. Give me your fingers. He hated White Hand. He hated White Hand. When he tried to get White Hand to go away, then I would get him even worse because the monster would come and I would go, I'm going to kill you. Your mom is like, what's the matter, Brad? He's like, We've got to get you some help. Excuse me? Oh, boy. I wish he was listening in one time. Wide hand. It's crazy. Yeah, well, guess what? The robot's like, I went to touch you. Creepy robot. Dirty robot. No, I used to just bother him by, like, touching, like, on his face where it would bother him. How old are you? She's, like, 22. I was probably, like, 10. It's incredible. She's doing bits. My sister would race me to sleep.
That was her bit because we shared a room. She'd say, okay, I'll erase you to sleep. I was like, oh, I'm going to win this. You shared a room with your sister? Isn't that weird? I was little when I was like five. Boy, that explains a lot, doesn't it? No. It's not weird. It's not weird. It's a little weird. No, it's not. Until we were 21. When you're little kids. Rule in our house was drinking age. I mean, once you're drinking age, you can't have the same room anymore. She pretty much raised me. How much older? She was seven years older than me. So she's 114. Yep, she's 114. My oldest sister turned 61. So we're hearing reports that Chris Brown was on Good Morning America this morning and that he threw a fit. Apparently... He was questioned by Robin Roberts about what happened in 2009 with his ex-girlfriend Rihanna. And he flipped out. He said, you know, I think I'm past that at this point in my life. Today his album comes out and he says, this is what the day is about. That's what I'm focusing on. Which means, by the way, that they must have told Robin Roberts no questions about Rihanna. Right. And she asked anyway. And she asked anyway. And he freaked out.
this is what they're saying right now, smashed a window in his dressing room and stormed out of the studio with his shirt off. All right, now he's performing right now on Good Morning America. He looks like Cisco. Yeah, he does. Bleach blonde hair. He's talented. He's a very talented guy. He's got a good right hook, that's for sure. Oh, boy. Great right hook. When he dances seriously, like, he... Is Michael Jackson talented. He's good with his left, too. He can get right in there. He's got a quick jab. I'm with you. So he's a super talented guy. Isn't Good Morning America supposed to be a wholesome show? Isn't that their deal? He's not on there beating up women. So would you never make a mistake? Yeah, I never beat the crap out of a woman. I know that.
It made plenty of mistakes. It doesn't mean he can't still be a performer, but why on Good Morning? I thought that was like a wholesome sort of like. Aren't there different levels of mistakes? Yeah. He's making mistakes. Well, okay. So what's a mistake worse than that? Or what's a mistake? Murder. The color of his t-shirt. Murder's worse. The wings on his tennis shoes. Yeah, his vest. What's less than that? Public intoxication. Less than that. Yeah. What about drunk driving? It's. Less than that. Unless you kill somebody. Unless you kill somebody or hurt somebody, yeah. And then that, is that above that or below that? It's above it. It's above it. You know it. I don't. You do. I'm learning. You're teaching me the rules of what's okay, what's not, what's less than okay, what's... Fighting dogs. Worse. Fighting dogs is worse. No, it's not. It's the same. Yeah, what's the... Oh, it's the same. Yeah. As hitting a girl. Yeah. As hitting a girl. Killing dogs. He did more than just hit her. I mean... Yeah, he did more than just fight dogs. He beat the crap out of her. Yeah. Hey. I know it's bad. It's awful. Oh, yeah, it's bad. My deal is, though, we've all done bad things, and we all want the chance to be forgiven. For sure. Yeah. And he's out there selling records and stuff like that, but why on a morning talk show where everybody's watching? I don't know. Because he's supposed to be done his time. He's supposed to have been. Yeah, I mean. Sounds like he's well adjusted now. He paid his penance.
If those stories are true, it sounds like he's really doing well. He was sentenced to five years probation and six months of community labor in 2009. Hey, listen, man. If what they're saying is true, he sounds like a... D. D major. Anger management. Yeah. I guess those classes didn't take. I want to root for people, man. I want people to get better. I want people to redeem. I want, you know? Yeah, for sure. No, right? Don't you? Yeah, but, I mean, there's, you know, it's different. Some people I can't root for. Not even to get better? No. I mean, I hope the guy gets better, but I'm not going to be like, hey, man, can't wait to pick up that new Chris Brown record today. Well, you wouldn't have said that regardless. Fair enough. You would be there. I would have. Hey, you want to play TomTom Tunes? Call us right now. 570-1949. What do we got as a prize today, Jay?
We're going to hook them up to tickets to the Fred Hall Ultimate Outdoor Experience, March 24th through the 27th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. Call us up right now. You did so great. I wanted to be so nice. I'm not a monster. I'm sorry. My jaw can't drop any further far down. Are you kidding me? I'm just talking sides. We got to take calls on this. What do you mean? There are no calls to take. We're having a meeting today. And so to surprise. Worse than White Hand. To surprise. Yeah. I need White Hand. I am White Hand. White Hand, you know what we're talking about then. You are a monster. You are a monster. We always, when we have a meeting, we're always like, what are we going to do for food? And it's always a beating. And it's always this. We never plan ahead. Never plan ahead. We fend for ourselves usually. That's right.
And so I wanted to make today special. Yeah. Very nice man. And so with the help of Chris, I went to Chris Turner and I said, I want to do something special for everybody on the show. Very sweet. And so I've arranged to have Phil's barbecue. And I read this often. I said, sliced beef, barbecued ribs, boneless chicken, buns to make a sandwich, coleslaw, mac salad, Caesar salad, and lots of sauce. And everybody's real happy. And Woods goes. And Jay. Jay. And Jay. Not just me. Jay wasn't even in the room. He just came in and said it. I popped my head in for that reason. He said it separately. He said it after Jay. He said it after Woodson. First, Woods goes. I had no idea. He goes, potato salad? Yeah. And I go, no. And then Jay pops in and he's like, potato salad? Yeah. Wow. It's barbecue. I'm like, no. No. Baked beans? What's the matter with you, Michaels? We did it first. First of all. First of all. I'm like, this room is full of divas, okay? We're not the only ones, okay? Is it? Are we? Phil's is famous for its potato salad. Cold slaw. Really? It's called Phil's Famous Potato Salad. Wait, wait, wait. What is he talking about? Jay just said cold slaw. Cold slaw. As opposed to hot slaw. Cold slaw. Roll the tape. Cold slaw. What'd you say? Cold slaw.
Now you did. I thought you really liked their potato salad, too. So I figured that you would get it. Do you ever looked a gift horse in the mouth? Yes. I'm just making a blanking statement. Here's the deal. Hey, I'm just saying, if you want to be stupid, you can be dumb. It was like giving Woods a gift that was wrapped and saying, what, no bow? Yeah. No bow? Yeah. He opens it up. He's like, well, I thought maybe you forgot to read it. Because you're forgetful. You ever give somebody a gift and they just hate it? He opens up for his birthday. I thought he was going to love it. I love it. It took me forever to have it made. I love it. I made him the picture of the guy that says, to me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. And it says, to me, it looked like a leprechaun. He opens it up. Framed. Yeah, framed. The whole thing. Do it with Jared. The whole deal. Don't. Woods goes. Woods goes. Oh, I thought it was going to be like Derek Jeter or something. No, I didn't. You did. I love that. I love that. It's like getting a Nerf gun, but you left the AA batteries out or whatever. No, it's not. I love that. Then he goes, hey, man. Woods goes, maybe, like, why don't we put it in the studio, man? That's where it belongs. Yeah, let's put it in the studio. I don't want that ish in my house.
First of all, it was hung in my office. My wife was like, that can't be in here. You can't have that in your home. Why not? I would have that over my bed. Yeah, you would. I'm in the ceiling. Okay, back to the potato salad. Such a nice effort. Famous. Famous. Famous? To me. For me, it's famous. To you, it's like Woods famous. They're famous for their barbecue. Of course they are. It's world famous. I mean, I like it. Their potato salad is so good. Wow. Get some pickles, too. Mike, see what you're doing here? You're caving. You know what? You don't have to switch it. I'll pay for it. How about that? Mikey just realized he made a mistake. Oh. Here, I got two bucks on it. I'll do it. Don't ask. I got two more. Mikey, just ask. Come on. It's so good with a sandwich. You guys, they're opening especially for us to make us this stuff. Yes. They already have this stuff planned. Potato salad? Yeah, they probably have it. This is him later. Oh, my gosh. Jamie, guess what D-Bag did? Oh, my gosh. I know that's what we call him. Anyway.
Guess what D-Bag did? Dear, we call him DB. You know that. Guess what DB did? Want to know what DB did? Got freaking Phil's. No potato salad. Who gets Phil's with no potato salad? Do you believe that, dear? Really? DB? I'm that bad. What a DB. That's why we call him DB. He does stuff like that. I think we call him DB. So is there going to be any potato salad? What? If you're listening. First of all, he's doing it too. I'm the only one getting any grief for it. He's in there smirking. You're serious. He's serious too. Jay's serious too. Jay's the kind when we go out to lunch and Mikey's like... I got it. I'll get this today. Jay's like, let me get the lobster tacos. He does. And I'll take a steak to go. I can't tell you. I have not gotten anything but the chicken. Papa Moose. Papa Moose. Whatever it is. Y'all aren't going to get dessert. Y'all like, hey, we're going to start with egg drop. That is not true. I want wontons. I want a latte and a rum and coke. You're a liar. Yeah, the rum and coke is true. Can I get a rum and coke to go? Yeah. One for Jasper. Give me a kid's meal.
Yeah. Can I get a cheesecake? Just the whole cake. The whole cake. And I think we're going to need like three orders of those appetizers because I don't think... Well, why not? Why not? Just why not? We're living, aren't we? It's true. Mikey showed up late to one lunch. I can't remember what it was. Oh, yeah. I think it was a cheesecake factory. There were seven appetizers on the table. My wife. My wife used to do the, what do you call it? Expense report. Expense report. And she goes, babe, what did you guys eat? And I go, what are you talking about? I go, what are you talking about? She goes, the cheesecake factory bill with tip. is $174. For watch. With the tip. Holy crap. We all got cheesecake to go. Yep. No, I did not. I did. I did. The other did? I did. Yes. No, I think just the boys did. I don't know if I did. Yeah, I don't know. All right, let's play. Oh, there's my Tom Tom.
Oh, man. So, potato salad? Yeah. Is there going to be any? You are a monster. You are a monster. So, seriously, is there some comedy? Phyllis without potato salad is like going to Hawaii and not hitting up Tommy boss. Exactly, dude. See, hello. I'm just kidding. I don't care. You're a sweet man. You're very sweet. There probably won't be any pickles either. I'm not writing Chris. Jay, will you write Chris? I'm going to write Chris right now. Monsters. You're monsters. Step out of my limelight woods. Yeah, get out of my limelight woods. All right. M1 Hot for Teacher from Claremont. Are you there? Yes, sir. What's going on, Mikey? Not too much. All right, TomTom Tunes, the way that it works. We're going to have TomTom Girl read you the lyrics to some songs, and all you have to do is give me title or artist. You have 20 seconds beginning now. I took my love, and I took it down. I climbed a mountain, and I turned it around, and I saw my reflection, and the snow cover red hills till the landslide brought me down. Can you give me title or artist for the win?
You're cheating. He's whispering. He's talking to his friend. I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills. Oh, dang. What's her name? Sinead O'Connor? I know the name of the song. Give me the song. Give me the song. Oh, oh, oh. Snow-covered hills. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Two strikes, buddy. Snow-covered hills. My Sinead O'Connor. The song is, I've seen my reflection in the snow-covered hills. Oh, I got it. It took my love. I took it down. I clapped him out and I turned around. Sinead O'Connor. I took my love. I took it down. It's I've been afraid of changing because I found something in you. You found something in you. I love how into it he is. You should win. You said every word but the title of the song, which is Land Slide. I'm giving you something. You were too funny. Hang on a minute. He knew what it was. Climb the mountain and a turn around! Who does sing this? Stevie Nicks. I only knew. Dixie Chicks. Dixie Chicks sing it too, yeah. Dixie Chicks!
Dixie Chase took my love and took it down. Stoke Over Nails. That was the best. Oh, yeah, I know it, I know it. It's Stoke Over Nails. Stoke Over Nails. That is an L.O.B. move. Oh, 100. So he gets it. That was incredible. Oh, my gosh. M1 Brittany from Mira Mesa. Are you there? Yeah. Okay, you ready to do this? Yeah. 20 seconds, title or artist starting now. Load up on guns, bring your friends. It's fun to lose and to pretend. She's overborn and self-assured. Oh, no, I know a dirty word. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. With the lights out. Can you give me title or artist with a win? It's Nirvana. Yeah. That is correct. It is Nirvana. That is not Nirvana. Sorry. Hello, hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello, hello. It's my candle box. Oh, boy. I think that'll be a bit on every top top. Holy cow. You're a winner. So is there a potato salad coming? I ordered it. We'll see if I ask. I didn't order it. I asked. That's awesome. I'm just saying. Do you think that Chris is going to be like, you know, I mean, are you kidding me with this? Easy Elton. Yeah, Easy Elton. Yes. M1.
Pop from Bay Park. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. All right, Bay Park. All right, babe. All right, Pop. Bay Park. That's where he's from. This is not going to be easy. I'm telling you that up front. Unless you're like me and you like the pop music, which there's a hint, you got 20 seconds starting now. Up in the club, we just broke up. I am doing my own little thing. You decided to dip, but now you want a trip because another brother noticed me. I will be. I'm up on him. He up on me. Don't pay him any attention because I cried my tears. Gave three good years. I will be. Oh, my gosh. Oh, boy. Oh, my gosh. Double grab me. M1 pop. Can you give me title or artist? There's so many L.O.B.'s in there. I know. I think Matt's just going, you know, what did I do? I just woke up. I didn't even do anything. It wasn't even L.O.B. that said anything. It was me. Should I give him just one line? Yeah, give him one more line. Yeah, one line. Because if you like it, then you should have put a ring on it. L.O.B. There you go. Yeah. That's right. Good job.
You ever see the gay redhead from Glee sing this? Or dance to it? No. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. I don't think he's redheaded, though. He isn't? I've seen there's one gay guy on there, but I don't think he's redheaded. Yeah. Kirk? I think I got the wrong show. I think he did sing it, though. Did he sing it? Yeah. He's not redhead? I don't think so. Either that or he's not gay. Oh, he's gay. Oh. There's not a redhead on there. I'm going to YouTube it. It's the funniest thing you've ever seen. You won. Hang on the line, okay? Thanks. Let's see. I've never laughed so hard in my heart. Oh my gosh, I know. Passive aggressive. Sinead O'Connor. Are you ever just passive? Sinead O'Connor. Snow cover at Hills. Oh my gosh. The best part about it is he's like, Snow cover at Hills! And he's whispering to a girl like...
Like they decided together. And he's so sure of it. Oh, I know. Why did you just say you needed the titles? Never have it else. Nope, sorry. I've never done that. Really? I got something kind of inspiring for you next. Especially if you've ever screwed something up. Good. Has to do with Chris Webber. Then you know his famous screw up. We'll talk about it next. Hang on. Still like it. It's got a catchy beat, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. It's a gonorrhea in my ears. Oh. Oh, goodness. Jake said, oh, dear, yesterday. Funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. He did? Oh, dear? Like that? Yeah. Don't know where he heard it, but it was the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. I bet. He goes, oh, dear. Jasper said, alleluia. I was like, what? Alleluia. Father like son. Alleluia. I was like, what?
Jay's like, that's not how you say that. Come on, boy. It's hallelujah. Hallelujah. Everybody knows that. Tell me. What's the matter with you? Tell me. Figure it out. Figure it out. Oh. Figure it out. That's what I said. Figure it out. Figure it out. Let's bring it back to normal. Woodsy. Yes. Tell those that do not know. I bet, you know, like, Sienna probably doesn't know this story, and LLB probably doesn't know this story. How old were you in 1993, Sienna? Eight. Oh, wow. Wow. I was a senior in high school, based on that. I was 23. It was March Madness, and the Michigan Wolverines had a team called the Fab Five. And it was Jalen Rose, Chris Weber, a couple other dudes that were just ridiculous. I mean, the greatest college basketball team ever assembled. And they were really expected to run through the tournament. I mean, no problem. So April 5th, 1993, 11 seconds left in the final game. Okay, they're playing for the title. For the championship. For the championship.
The final game. Michigan down 73-71. The star of the Wolverines, Chris Weber, grabs the ball, calls a timeout. Okay. No timeouts left. They didn't have any timeouts left. Did the game stop? Yes, they stopped the game. So when he says timeout, even though they don't have any more timeouts, the ref goes... I think that's what happened, and he... And then the ref looked at him and goes, you know, you could see him. He does it. He's holding the ball here. And he calls time. And the ref, like, shakes his head. And you can see white wash over his face. I mean, he turns white. And so what happens then, if you call a timeout with none remaining, there's a foul. So that other team goes to the line, makes a free throw. Game over. That just gave me... Game over. Heart complications. It's... Oh, my God. I can't. You can't. I watched it. And, I mean, I remember being in high school watching my friends and going.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. They don't have any timeouts. What's he doing? What's he doing? I mean, because back then, you know, I never liked Michigan. But, you know, I kind of thought those guys were cool. Jalen Rose, Chris Webber. I thought those guys were badasses. And I kind of wanted to see them with the Fab Five nickname like that. You're like, all right, I'm in. So is it like a known thing that he just spaced and forgot? And he wasn't like trying to just get a timeout when there wasn't one? No, he just spaced. He wasn't. Mental error. Mental error. But it's also widely known. as the most crushing thing ever because that poor team was so good. So good. And so close. How do you forgive him? They were right there. They were right there. And I mean, if you go to that college, if you're an alumni of that college, and there you are, you've got all your friends over, everybody's cheering. It's devastating. No! It's devastating. No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! What's he doing? What's he doing? And then when the opposing team goes to the line and throws those free throws, and it's over. And you're sitting there as a Michigan fan watching the other team celebrate and raise that NCAA championship and cutting the net. One shining moment playing. And Weber probably just in tears. Just in the locker room just going, that's on me. That's all on me. I've blown some games before, obviously nothing that big, but I've caused some.
You feel like you're this big on a stupid men's league team. You know what I mean? You're like, oh, wow, it's my fault. You know? I can't imagine what it feels like on that stage. I can think of one worse. One. Bill Buckner in the World Series. Let the ball, an easy grounder go through his legs. Sox hadn't won the World Series in 100 years. And dude, that's the only one worse. That's number two for me. Well, here we are in the tournament. Yep. And everybody's remembering that at this time. You always do. 73-71. Chris Webber will always be remembered for that and how crushing it was. Well, this is what I thought was kind of cool. There's something about a president and Bill Clinton. I didn't know this. I just found this out and I'm like, yeah, talk about it. There's something about a president that when a president does something to kind of lift your spirits, there's something very different about that. I didn't know that Bill Clinton had written Chris Webber a letter. And I read it and I thought, that letter is for anybody that's ever messed something up in their life. And the fact that it came from a standing U.S. president, I thought was pretty cool. He said, Dear Chris, I've been thinking of you a lot since I sat glued to the TV during the championship game.
I know there may be nothing I or anyone else can say to ease the pain and disappointment of what happened. Still, for whatever it's worth, you and your team were terrific. And part of playing for high stakes under great pressure is the constant risk of mental error. I know. I've lost two political races and made countless mistakes over the last 20 years. What matters is the intensity. integrity, and courage that you bring to the effort. That's certainly what you've done. You can always regret what occurred, but don't let it get you down or take away the satisfaction of what you've accomplished. You have a great future. Hang in there. Sincerely, Bill Clinton. I thought, you know, man, for anybody that's ever jacked it up, and if you know me, man, I have jacked it up. I thought,
We got to like print that, put that on our website. Because I think he's right. I think that what matters is the intensity, the integrity, and the courage that you bring to the effort. I know that you hear it all the time. You go, it isn't about winning or losing. To me, second place has always been the first loser. Always. Second place is always the first loser. But I'll tell you what, man. Like ratings wise over the last year, we're up on top right now. But who knows, man? It's always it's up and down. What matters is the intensity, integrity and courage that you bring to the effort. I really like that. And I read it and I thought, man, there is something really different about that. That's cool. When did he write this letter? Right when it happened. Right after. Sent it to him.
And, you know, in the spirit of March Madness, what a great lesson, man. And I'm being as genuine as I can when I tell you I want to instill that in my kids. Yeah. Because you're not going to win every time. You can't. You can't win every time. I used to base my worth on ratings. And last year we went through a spell where we stunk the place up. This is the truth. We did. And by the grace of God. He brought us way back up to the mountaintop. But during that time, there was all kinds of other stuff going on in my life too. And I remember that I used to really base my self-worth on however successful I was at work. And all of that had to get torn down for me to go, it's not about that. It isn't about that. And when they're good, it's great. It is. It really is great. Feels good. But it isn't what it's about. What it always has to be about is intensity, integrity, and courage. One thing that I want my sons to always know is that you can't lack one of those things. Listen, if you lose, dad's fine with that. But don't you...
I freaking dare not give me intensity, integrity, and courage ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. You have to have those. I was really affected. You can see. I mean, I was really affected by that because that moment in Chris, where they just made a movie about it, by the way, that's coming on that 360 E360. It's documentary documentary film about it. Because everybody's been there in those crushing moments where you did something so stupid. Intensity, integrity, and courage. Love it. I'm Mikey. Woods put this one in there, and this brings me right back to my obese Mikey days. Back when I was 18 years old, just listening to Richard Marks real good. Just curly-headed mullet that guy had. Curly, yeah. Business on the side. No, partying.
Business on the side, party in the back. No. Party in the back. Business on the front. Business on the front, party in the back. Is that how it went? Yeah. Business in the front, party in the back. Guy was a heck of a songwriter. He really was. I have no problems with Richard Marsh. Zero. Do you know how many girls I Frenched to these songs? A lot. Do you know how many girls I Frenched to this song? Not a lot. None. Zero. This was a big M.O. song in middle school. Big make-out song. Yeah. M.O. M.O. A little M.O. sesh will get you. Sitting there crying, wishing that I didn't have mustard breath. I was in Fenwick's basement trying to figure out how to take a bra off real good. And it was on Fenwick. It was on Fenwick. It was weird. Really weird. Gotta learn somewhere. Hey, practice makes perfect. They put bras on? Not on, but... Yeah, he'd wrap it around a watermelon and he would... I did practice on... I heard that they... Oh, yeah. What did you do? You used your mom? Yeah, I would go to my mom and I'd practice taking her bra off. No! Not on her one, man. Or it means with her bra. Just with your first girlfriend. Sisters. No, sisters. Sisters bras on... Like a chair.
Wow. I'm good now. Me too. It was always impressive if I get it one-handed. I'm going to left-hand snap you real quick. Didn't it make you think that he was a whore? No. That he was a stud. It was impressive. Yeah. Then the one time you go and then it's in the front. I got to go. See you later. Never wear the front snap on ladies. That's a good call. All right. I like those. I don't. If you're expecting it, it's easier. See what you're doing. Back there, turning the thing inside out. Squeezing it like you're wringing out a rag. There's nothing there. Chewing on it. Jay remembers when they were wood. A lot of splinters in those days. He actually knows how to undo a corset. I used to have my favorite hatchet. I just cut it off.
He learned it from Madame Boudoir. He learned it from a deck hand on the Titanic. Hey, watch this. All you got to do is slide your finger up and all the strings pop out of the holes. We have a whole new meaning of all hands on deck. She had some great pantaloons. Hey, girl, take them pantaloons off. I learned it from my paw. Shimmy out that girdle. Shimmy. Get that bonnet off. Oh, no, no. Leave it on. Leave it on. Leave that bonnet on. You know how I like it. Creep, creep, old creep. Hey, give me that lantern. Get your wooden clogs out the way. Girl, blow out that candle. Put down that damn butter turner. Milk the cow later. And I mean milk the cow later. Yeah. Uh-oh. Wasn't me, Mikey. What, Mike? What? What, Mikey? I declare. I declare. Let's see. You got new releases? We do. Let's do it. Chris Brown, fame.
Neat. Let you know that you're always a big girl. featuring Justin Bieber. Oh. Really? The only thing that I got right now. I want to be in on Chris Brown, but that's good. That's good. And they sound good together. Duran Duran, all you need is now. I'm sorry. Listen, listen, listen, listen. I like it. I know. Yeah, it sounded okay. No idea. Listen, I'm so glad that you don't like it. I like it. You don't. I sounded okay. He wouldn't say that he liked it if he didn't. Let me say this. It's embarrassing. I'll tell you this. I think it's stupidies with Justin Bieber. Yeah. Do you know that show that we've loosely talked about called The Voice? It's supposed to be the American Idol ripoff. Yeah, Christina Aguilera is a judge. There's one thing that I didn't know about the show, and I just found out, and now, not only am I in, I will season pass this show now. Oh, wow.
Listen to the promo. What's exciting about The Voice is that when you have the best in the business looking for the next best, and they're not willing to just go, you suck, you're great. Good luck out there, kids. And we're carving out some time to help you. Here are our producers. Here's our people. You don't find that anywhere else. They haven't said what the key is yet. What the hook is. What was the brilliant idea that came up in a boardroom that made them go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotta read something genuine. Biggest difference between this show and all of the other vocal competition shows is that it's a blind audition. We're going to be sitting in these big chairs. Outbacks will turn to the stage. Contestants will sing their hearts out. You get to concentrate on nothing but the voice. You don't have to worry about what somebody looks like. Remember the 70s? There's some sketchy looking people that had gorgeous voices. I love that it's based purely on their voice. Because a great voice is a great voice. It's a great voice. It's a great voice.
The Voice starts April 26th on NBC. I'm in. I'm in. In. I want to know, are we going to be able to see them? Yes. We can see them. The judges can't see them. And so one would say, it's about the music. Yes. And not about the face. It's not about the face. Thank God. Because when I watched American Idol for an hour last week, I was looking at two guys. And I don't remember their names or what they sang, but I go, babe. The only reason these guys are in there, because they look like David frigging Cook. That's the only reason. Yes. She's like, no, they're good. It's true. The reason that Adam Lambert won is because he was this incredible showman. And, you know, he did this whole bit and he had this whole thing. But I used to listen to him and I would go, he's not really that great of a singer. Right. But he's got the whole package. That's exactly what I said when we played the American Idol clip a few weeks ago. And I was like, and we further perpetuate that it's all about what you look instead of what you sound like. Yeah. I'm in on the voice. Me too. Love it. Season passing it as well. We're talking about it every day. The judges are CeeLo Green, Blake Shelton, who's a country singer, Adam Levine, and Christina Aguilera. Wow. These guys are all top of their field. I'll catch it in Hulu. Actually, they are pretty. They kind of are. They kind of are. Really? Aguilera, Maroon 5. She's not at the top of her game. She's good. Yeah.
Dude, I mean, she's a big star. She's actually a really big star right now. Yeah? I don't know. She is not. Have you not seen her lately? Oh, she's put on... There were two other judges and she ate them. She is so perfect. Oh my gosh. She's like 5'1", 105 pounds. No, she's not 105 pounds. I mean, she's like 175, but it's no big deal. No, she is not. She is not. You're so cruel. She's tiny. Am I? She's beautiful. No, she's not tiny right now. She is normally beautiful. Duran Duran. All you need is now. Wow. Dance, Mikey, dance. What are you doing to your lips? It's a pacifier. Oh. These are glow sticks. You know you liked me some Duran Duran back in the day. Back in the day. Oh, yeah. Big time. Jennifer Hudson. I remember me. Gosh, she looks good these days. She does. Oh, man. Listen to that voice. American Idol. She didn't win. I know. She was like sixth place. She got an Oscar, though, the next year. Incredible. You're actually terrible. I can't stand you, Jennifer. No, man. That was the bit. Simon, he was the only one that was ever honest. He said, you should win.
You won't, but you should. It's great. You're actually a little too fat to win this competition. You're far too chubby to win, but you should win. You have the most beautiful voice. Panic at the Disco, Vices and Virtues. That sounds good. Yeah, not bad. In, in, in, in. Saliva, Under Your Skin. Love Josie's voice. I love his voice. I like a couple of their tunes. I may have been in Dallas and listened to their music very, very loud. Soundgarden live on I-5. Buy that today, my friend. And I bought this one this morning. The new Strokes record, Angles. It's a little different. What's that song they sing I like? They got a bunch. I know that you played one that I was like, oh, that's the Strokes? It's really good. You played one a few days ago, didn't you? The new one?
Maybe. Maybe. I like, from what I've heard, I listened to it for about 10 minutes this morning. I just love that band, though. And then Yellow Card, when you're through thinking, say yes. Slow motion scene in a video. Tweens. Tweens love this band. Big tweener band. They had a song that I actually love. Only one. That's the name of the song. And I only love one of them. And I like that. It's like next week on the WB. Oh, yeah. 100%. On Dawson's Creek. Love that show. And then DVD's out today. The Tourist. That's your boy. I know, and I'm out on it. I heard it's terrible, so I'm not going to see it. I won't even make up my own mind. Sienna, Yogi Bear. How Do You Know with Reese Witherspoon. Never heard of it. Skyline. That was terrible. Terrible reviews. Skyline did. And it looked kind of cool.
That got bad reviews. This one's called The People I've Slept With. That's weird. Woods. What's the next one? That was just brilliant timing. I'm sorry, but that was just brilliant timing. There's potato salad on the TV. There is? Oh, wow, Woods. Potato salad. Potato salad. Hey, did we get that worked out? Yeah, it's going to be there. Yeah. You know I made that happen. Now who's the hero? You're a freaking hero. Mikey is such a sweet, sweet man. He's a sweet man. Enjoy Elton and...
I don't know. We have a long meeting today. We have a long meeting today, so he wanted to surprise us with Phil's barbecue, and he told us it's coming. And Wood said, potato salad? Yeah, he's like, did you get the potato salad? And then I immediately walked in the door and said the same thing. I name off all these things that I got them, and he's like, what about potato salad? Spoiled Brad. You just don't have fast stuff, dude. He's like, what's the matter with you? Maybe you're grateful for what you do. I'm really grateful. What am I famous for? Do you think that people in Japan would be complaining about potato salad? What about other people in Libya? Too soon. Ever since my wife and I lost our child that we were adopting, potato salad has really been the only thing that made me feel better. Woods, do you think the guy that just won the NCAA wrestling with one leg complains about potato salad? If he was in here right now, he'd be like... Who ordered barbecue and no friggin potato salad? How dare you? How dare you? Take what you are given. I know. Really? Really? Just looking down that gift horse mouth real good. Yes. Hillary, what do you got coming up? Oh, all kinds of good stuff. Black Keys, Two Door Cinema Club, New Arcade Fire, The Hives. Nice. Yeah. That little bee just calls them Keys. Yes. True. The Keys. To her heart. The Keys. Exactly.
Lovely and talented. Hillary is up next and we will see you again tomorrow morning at 6. The Mikey Show is out late.