The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/23/11
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
radio show bitscelebrity interviewsgame segmentshealth and safety newssportsmusiccurrent eventsmoviesmikey showchris brownlawrence taylorrebecca black
The Mikey Show broadcast featured a mix of recurring bits and breaking news, including Mikey's 'keep him hungry and keep him poor' rule for phone screener Chris, the 'Let's Throw Knives' game introduction, and Woods' dramatic vampire makeover into Dracula with a wig, powder, and nails. Jay attempted a Terminator 2 audition for a live reading, while Lawrence Taylor faced sentencing for sex with an underage prostitute and admitted soliciting services through a friend. Chris Brown's Good Morning America interview sparked a meltdown, mirror smashing, and shirtless wandering in New York, and health officials detected low-level radiation from Japan, though tap water in Tokyo was deemed unsafe for infants. The show also celebrated spelling bee champion Snigda Nandipati and Rebecca Black's viral 'Friday' song with celebrity contacts and over 2 million iTunes downloads.
What happened, in order
Birthday Rule & Screener Song
Mikey introduces a new rule where listeners must compliment Chris through him, and the phone screener transforms into singing Celine Dion and Mariah Carey impressions.
Jay's Gold & Scepter Rant
Jay rants about program directors giving praise turning hosts into demanding figures, referencing Mackie's gold and scepter demands after being told he was good.
Let's Throw Knives Game Intro
Mikey introduces the game 'Let's Throw Knives,' explaining they've done 'Let's Fence' and 'Let's Box,' and this week they'll throw knives, with Chris chanting throughout.
Woods' Lestatted Vampire Makeover
Mikey plans to transform Woods into Dracula with a long black wig, white face powder, dark lipstick, and Lee press-on nails, sending him to a business to 'cullen' someone.
Jay's Terminator 2 Audition
Jay attempts to audition as the Terminator for a reading of Terminator 2, playing 12-year-old John Connor, with Woods as narrator and Mikey as director James Cameron.
Lawrence Taylor Sentencing & Prostitution Admission
Lawrence Taylor is sentenced to six years probation for sex with an underage prostitute, admits to the encounter, and discusses how he solicited services through a friend, denying force but acknowledging statutory rape.
Chris Brown Good Morning America Meltdown
Chris Brown interviews with Robin Roberts about his restraining order from Rihanna, then freaks out post-interview, smashes a mirror in the dressing room, throws a chair, and goes shirtless outside New York City.
Radiation Detected in California
Health officials detect radioactive iodine, cesium, and tellurium from Japan's nuclear accidents in California, but levels are hundreds of thousands to millions times below concern, though tap water in Tokyo is unsafe fo
Snigda Nandipati Wins Spelling Bee
Twelve-year-old Snigda Nandipati wins the 42nd Annual San Diego Union Tribune Spelling Bee after studying 20,000 words with her dad, receiving a $100 savings bond and competing nationally in Washington, D.C.
Rebecca Black Viral Song & Celebrities
Rebecca Black performs her viral song Friday on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, discusses celebrities like Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, Nicole Richie, Joe Maddon, and Willow Smith who contacted her, and reveals her song
People mentioned
MikeyJayChrisSiennaWoodsLaurenElizabeth TaylorSelena GomezJustin BieberRobin RobertsLawrence TaylorRihannaSnigda NandipatiRebecca Black
28,833 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Y'all shut up. Fill his head with that. Yeah, I get it. He's good. All right? We got him five days a week. That should make you happy. All right? Happy birthday. Quit talking about it. Quit talking about it. Yeah, he's good. All right? Don't even say hi when he comes in. That's right. All right? Okay, we got a new rule, y'all. I talk to Chris. Y'all don't talk to Chris. If you have something to say, compliment. Tell me. I'll let him know that you gave the compliment. I know. Go over my head. I'm not going to stop talking to Chris, Jay. Yes, you are going to. No, I'm not. Sienna, what do you want to tell him? That he's doing a great job. Okay, fine. I will pass the word along. Will you, Jay? Will you really, Jay? Hell no, I won't. He'll filter it. I got a motto. It's called keep him hungry and keep him poor. That's right. Next thing you know, I tell him Sienna said great job. And you know what your phone screener turns into? Freaking Celine Dion, Mariah Carey. Not true. Not Chris. Oh, yeah.
He'll come in here and he'll be like, hey, Jay, where's my rose petals in the urinal? Jay, you're really overthinking it. I am not overthinking it. I've seen it happen a million times. Look at Mackie. About ten years ago, one stupid program director told him he was good. Next thing you know, I've got to put robes on him every morning. Where's my robes? Where's my scepter? I know. Where's my pen? Where's my crown? Have you been polishing his crown, Jane? Where's my gold? I want to know where the gold at. Where do you think that came from? That black dude didn't think of it himself. Mikey said it for the first time. And it's because one program director told him five years ago, said, hey, good job today on the air, buddy. Next thing you know, I want to know where the gold is. That's Mikey. I want the gold. Get me to go. I want to go. Fine, scepter head. Wow, you're on one today, Jay. Well, it's because y'all are just kissing butt.
Up and down the hallways. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. Jay, you're so sweet. He even brought us in a whole bunch of Listerine strips to be nice. Oh, look at me. I'm Listerine guy. I just supply fresh breath and rainbows out of puppy's butts. You're so sweet. You know what sweet turns into? Sour. Not in this case. Why do you think Chinese came up with sweet and sour pork? Sienna? I don't know, Jack. It used to be sweet pork. The phone screener got a hold of it. Damn egos. Some egotistical phone screener got a hold of that stuff. Next thing you know, it's all you can eat sweet and sour pork. That's right. Welcome to the Mikey Show. Wow. Wow. We just call it Wednesday. Yes. All right? Oh, boy. It's going to be one of those days. It's going to be one of those days, man. Wednesday morning. Wednesday morning. Dude, we got people throwing knives at people's heads on the show today. We play a game on the show today called Let's that we've been doing the last few weeks. We said Let's Fence, okay? We've said Let's Box. And this week, Let's Throw Knives. Nice. Seems like a good plan. Why not?
Why not? Chris, get out of here. Let's go. Oh, my God. Throw this in. No. Get out of here, but stay in that room. Don't come out the door. That's right. Talk my shit up. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. And I am wearing a T-shirt that is probably three years old. It's been washed no less than, and this is a real number, 50 times. And tomorrow, my wife has told me, it's time for us to shop. And, you know, part of the reason is because when we take a vacation in April, I might want to, like, get into a swimming pool. Now, I won't let anybody see me do that. Going to go to, like, Tommy Bahama today? Yeah. Just hit the TV. I mean, right next door. There would be no reason for me to go to Tommy Bahama because I don't wear Tommy Bahama. Oh, you're going to wait until you get on vacation and then get the Tommy Bahama there? No. Is that what you're saying? No. You're going to break them in. No. They have a Tommy Bahama here. It's in La Jolla. I don't go to it. I know where it is. I don't go to it. There's one at Fashion Valley Mall, which obviously you've been to before as well. Didn't know that. There's a sale every weekend that I always see you at. I don't go to it. Didn't you say you actually went there just straight there this morning? You're like, I'm at the Tommy Bahama store. I should have been going to work. Just instinct. I must have made a wrong turn. It's not true. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. Yes, you do. You do. You don't wear it. You live it and breathe it, basically.
Your shirt is covered in palm trees right now. I have one shirt from there. One shirt a day. Yeah. Who made you that fresh lei that you're wearing? Rebecca, lay that out for you. I'm not wearing one. You fashioned that yourself? I didn't fashion anything. I'm not wearing anything. Today at 7.30, you got Cullend. Oh, no. Listen to this. Who is it? It's me. It is? It's me. Because I'm telling you, man, the dude looked funny yesterday in that stuff. Oh, my God. It fit Jay real well. It won't hurt my feelings if you guys nominate Jay to do it today. I'm the old man who does acting today. You won't hurt my feelings. No, no. I'll get my turn. Well, we'll all get our turn. We'll all get our turn. I'm so nervous. I don't know why we're calling it You Got Calling. It's funny to call it that. It's more like...
You got Lestatted. But that doesn't have the same ring to it. No, it doesn't have the same ring at all. You got vamped. You got vamped. We're going to put Woods in a long, silky, black wig. Dracula. Yeah. And we are going to put Lee press on nails on him. One, right? Or all? All. Not all. Dude, I mean, Lestat didn't just have one. pinky, you know, nail. He had... What's the difference? Lestat had long nails. Nine fingers is the difference. You know why it'll be great, Woods, is because when you part your hair, you can do all four fingers. You can do and just run them through. Yes. Pick your nose real good, too. Yeah. So we're going to put a black, long, silky wig on Woods. We're going to put... Look at that lipstick. Dark, dark, dark lipstick. It's...
But it's like real dark. It's almost black. It's almost like a deep blood color. Yes. That is a great call, LLB. We're going to put white face powder on him. Oh, I can't wait. What else? That's it. That's it? Yeah. All right. And best part, I'm in wind pants today. I'm in the workout gym pants. Now, this is the way that we do you gut. We're going to send him into a business with a little earpiece in his ear. And the earpiece will be connected to a telephone where I will tell him what to say. And he'll have to say it in his regular voice. See, that's the beauty of it. We've done You've Got Bieber'd where we had to wear mascara, guyliner, a Bieber wig.
And instead of being like, yeah, what's up? You know, it's like, hey, how are you? How you doing? Good afternoon. Oh, my gosh. Now, our phone screener, Chris, will videotape it. And then we will put it on the Facebook page for you to see. I shaved this morning. I don't shave my face ever anymore. Ever. Like, trim it. I shaved this morning because I knew I was getting the white powder all over my face. I wanted it to look good. It's going to look fantastic. It is. We need a hairbrush, though. I want to make sure that thing is silky brushed out. It's incredible. The wig is incredible. Oh, I love it. So we'll do You Got Cullen at 730. Let's Throw Knives at 8. The old man that does acting will happen this morning at 830, which will be tremendous. I can't wait for it. We finally have this audio clip.
Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. What was that? Jay said... Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. You mean irrelevant? Irrelevant. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. Irreverent. Sorry, Jay, what? Jay said irreverent. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. Irreverent? No, no, no. Irrelevant. Irrelevant. Oh. Meaning it doesn't, you know, it doesn't matter. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. What? Okay, so, you know, so I think you get the idea there. Oh, boy. Now, that was the last time Jay tried acting. And so today, Jay will try acting again. And it will be phenomenal. Jay's the old man who does acting. I can do it five days a week. He's the old man with the poetry. Good. He's so good he's on the money. Yep. An actor with ability. He blinded me with acting. But he failed to pronounce clearly. They'll sue me. And that's it. Oh, it's the best. It's the greatest. Oh, everything about Jay is great.
Everything. He's fantastic. Finally, you guys are coming around. Chris is like, you guys, don't give him a big head. Guys, I'm right over here. And just so you know, Jay, the old man that does acting, will happen at 8.30. And today's movie that he will be acting, Terminator 2. Wow. Judgment Day. Jay will be Arnold Schwarzenegger's. Oh, please. Well, he won't be doing the voice. He'll be just you. Yep. Yeah. Just Jay. As if you were in there for a reading. As if he's auditioning. Yeah. As if he's auditioning. Yeah. You're sitting with Michael Bay or whoever did that movie. It was James Cameron. James Cameron. James Cameron. So, you know, you'd be sitting in front of James Cameron. You're doing a read and you're seeing, can I get this role? Yep. I will play the role of Edward Furlong. I'll be Edward Furlong. I will be the narrator. You'll be the narrator, Woods. And so I wish that I could get into it.
a DeLorean, get it up to 88 miles an hour, and it would just 8.30 right now. Word of the day's violin. When you hear me say violin between now and 10, caller 9 gets tickets to the NASCAR Nationwide Series and that rusty wired hoodie with the MP3 earphones in it. Okay, so we'll be talking Chris Brown because Chris Brown was on... Good Morning America. Good Morning America yesterday. His album came out yesterday, right? Not to be confused with my friend that is the pastor at North Coast Church. Different paths. Different paths, really. Different paths for these different Chris Browns. But they look very similar. They're identical. It's like looking in a mirror. Anyhow, at 6.30 this morning, we're going to be telling you about what Chris Brown did yesterday. Maybe he hasn't changed a lot. Maybe he's the exact same person. Yep. Maybe there is hurt, sadness, and fear inside of... Maybe he goes to anger management. Maybe, yeah. I think he did. Maybe he has been. Maybe he goes back. And maybe it didn't stick. Maybe it didn't stick. Maybe he texted and tweeted the whole time he was in there. Oh, my God. In the classes that were mandatory. The guy can dance, though. He can dance. I'm sure he can. He can. That guy dances like crazy. He's a talented person. Go vote on the best breakfast place in San Diego at MikeyShow.com.
And we will crown the M1 winner of that. M1's favorite place to eat for breakfast on Friday. What you're about to hear is insane. It's pretty crazy. Lawrence Taylor yesterday, right? Lawrence Taylor was... Was he charged with or was he convicted yesterday or what? Yes. Yesterday was his sentencing. He was sentenced to six years of probation for an encounter with an underage prostitute. The girl says she wasn't a prostitute. She was a runaway and fell in with this guy who was a pimp and was like, hey, LT just called. You're going to go slay LT. Right. Yeah. And that technically would make her a prostitute, but she says she's not. Now, when he was arrested. Wasn't his story, hey, I was just trying to counsel this girl. Yes. Yes. Wasn't that his story? His story was, oh, man, I was just trying to help her out. I didn't know. I wasn't calling for sexual favors. In fact, didn't even have sex with her. I was just going to counsel her. Yes. All right, so here is Lawrence Taylor yesterday. Today you pleaded guilty to having sex with an underage woman. She was 16. She claims you should have known it. Did you? No.
That's not my MO. I've been around kids and people all my life. I'm not the cause of prostitution, and sometimes I make mistakes. I'm glad that you said that, LT, because what we had thought up to this point was that you were responsible for prostitution. So I'm glad that you said that. Because we were like, that LT starting up with the whole thing. It's a common misnomer. I mean, everybody kind of thought that one time or the other. He did start the first brothel. Lawrence Taylor was the guy. Lawrence Taylor. Yeah, LT house. I didn't pick her up in no day going to a playground. She wasn't hiding behind a school bus or getting off a school bus. This is a working girl that came to my room and I don't know.
What her age was. Hey, listen. She didn't have a lollipop in her hand. All right? She wasn't wearing a Shirley Temple outfit. You know, she wasn't dressed with a red curly wig that said Annie on the front of it. She wasn't wearing a retainer. Yeah, there wasn't no retainer. And how was I supposed to know the shirt that said, I'm only 16. For real. Yeah, I thought it was a joke. I asked her age. She told me she was 19. Now, it is what it is. I don't really worry about that. My beef is not with her. My beef is not with the media. You know what? I'll take my punishment like I should. But I'm just. That was cool. Yeah. Because I thought he was going to go on blast with everybody. But it sounds like he's like, hey, I did it. I did it. Well, dude, he was charged with third degree rape and he got six years probation. Hell yeah, he's going to take his punishment. He doesn't have to do any jail time. So he's like, yeah, I'll take my punishment like a man. Okay. Well, I don't know, man. He got charged with third degree statutory rape, right? It says in here third degree rape. That's so weird. He didn't.
It wasn't rape in the sense... Forced, right. It wasn't forcible. Right, it's not forcible rape, but sexual misconduct and having sex with an underage woman is... You've got to IDM. When the prostitute comes to your room, you've got to IDM. It's like, okay, that doesn't affect you. If he says to her, are you 18, and she says yes, even though she's not, can he still get in trouble? What's the deal? You have to see an ID or... No. It's all illegal, but if you're... Right, right. But if you... If you knowing... I thought it was if you knowingly have sex with an underage person, but if you don't know that they are, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, he would have had to say, can I see your ID? Right. What if she was like, I'm going to get a fake ID so I can be a prostitute? Yeah, exactly. So it just seems like a lot falls on the person that has sex with the underage person. The John. You know what I mean? The John. Problems is at home with my wife. So that's the only one I have to really answer to. Oh, yeah. Dead man, dude. Yeah, that's trouble. Let's see. Here he is talking about that very issue of carting. How did it happen that you solicited her services through someone? Tell me about how that went. Well, it happens sometimes. Tell me how it happened that day. Okay. Well, you know, I've been on the road for about 10, 11 days and stuff. And I came into town.
Actually, I made a phone call to a friend of mine, and he made a phone call. Now, obviously, I'm guessing this cannot be first said phone call to said friend. Correct. Yeah, if you know that this guy has connections. Right. There's a reason for it. I don't just call Jay and go, Jay, I need Coke. You know, Jay's going to be like, out of the blue. Yeah, out of the blue. Jay will be like, are you kidding me? I don't know where to get cocaine. He'll be like, nah, I can get you some weed. I like the hard stuff. You're barking up the wrong tree. Mikey, two things, weed or horse pills. I can get you one of the two, but I can't get you any cocaine. I could probably make you some coke, though. I probably could. Yeah. I'd probably find a coca leaf. I'd probably find a coca leaf up on one of my hikes. Yeah, I could do it. I know I could. Just wait. I'll get you a gram. Hang on a second. I'll get you a frog to lick. I'll get you a gram. What'd you say to the friend? Have a nice day. I don't know. I mean, I find you somebody. Yeah. But, you know, I tell you, it's the world of it's the world of prostitution. I mean, you never know what you're going to get. And if it's going to be a pretty girl, ugly girl or whatever it's going to be. A young girl. Yeah. Well, you know what? That's you can only ask. You know, I know I don't card them. I don't I don't ask for a birth certificate.
Hey, he's being honest. Yeah, very. So he's admitting to this is the only prostitute he got caught with, but there have been several. Yeah. Yeah, but he's, you know, what I, I guess what I will say about it is that unlike a lot of people that we've heard in the past, he's not deflecting it. He's not saying it's somebody else's fault and he is getting singled out. At least not yet. We haven't heard it all. There's more here. So let's see what else he says. You mentioned your wife. This is a regular occurrence. Is this something that you do often? I'm suggesting that you're underage, but you solicit prostitutes often and your wife's aware? No, it's not that I solicit prostitutes often. Wait, wait, wait. If you say that this is what happens when you get a prostitute, aren't you... saying that it happens more than... You know the process. You know the process. You're in the know. He's not saying that it never happened before. He says it doesn't happen all the time. He was being like, this is how it goes down. Well, I'm sure he knows people that have done it, too. Oh, no. No, he's done it. Well, of course he's done it. If the condom fits, you must acquit. No, I don't know.
Wow. Odd observation. You know it's odd when he ends with, oh, I don't know. I've been around for a lot of years. I've been in New York for a lot of years. I've been married several times. And a lot of times, like my first wife, I got divorced in 1994. I didn't get married again until 2001. So you're talking six years of prostitution, basically. That's what I'm saying. Read between the lines. That don't mean I'm going to be out, running out trying to find a relationship. I really didn't want a relationship. I'm not looking for a relationship. Hey, sometimes I look for some company. And you don't mind paying for that. I don't because then it's all clean. I don't have to worry about your feelings. It's all clean, you know? He sounds like a cowboy from 1876. I'm putting myself in the shoes of his wife. They're done. They have to be done, right? I mean, he's just coming out being like... You would hope so. Hey, you know? Sometimes you need a little company.
He just sounds like, why does he have several wives? Why does he need to be married? Why doesn't he just go out and do his thing? It's true. L.O.B.'s are right. They do. I'm not saying it's right. I'm not saying it's right, but it's the oldest infection in the world. What is that? Oldest profession. Sounds like oldest infection. Yeah. Can be. Could be. Oh, it makes me so mad. Last LT clip. If you want to stop prostitution, what are you going to do? You're going to close out every go-go bar in America? You're going to close down, open up the phone book. I mean, you can start. Just open up the phone book and just start closing people up, places down. There's a thousand of them in there. It's true. That is a true fact. True fact. He should have just stopped after a second sentence of being like, I take my punishment. Now to go on and on and on and on about how, hey, such is me. It's honest. It's honest, though. Yeah, but it's unnecessary. I mean, it's like saying, hey, you just got busted because you were selling meth, and somebody goes, well, I'm not the only one. Okay, so the guy keeps asking me questions, though. You know what? I'm done talking. I've already told you that I'm sorry that it was my fault. But no, I have more questions. Is this the first time?
You keep asking, he's going to tell you. Stick with the fact that it's wrong, though. Don't sit there and be like— He doesn't think it's wrong. He doesn't think it's wrong. He doesn't think it's wrong. He's wrong that he was with another— Well, but L.O.B.'s right. He goes—he kind of goes back and forth. On one hand, he says, hey, I'm not saying it's right, and I did it, and blah, blah, blah. So he'll take account. But then he goes, hey, I'm not the only one that does it. Services before, you know, and— I guess it's one of those, I guess you'd call it crimes, one of those crimes that you never think about, that you never think you're going to get bust with because everybody does it, you know? Everybody does it? I guess it's a crime. Well, wait, did you hear that? That you never think you're going to get bust with because everybody does it, you know? Not everybody does it, but... If it's two consignated adults that are doing it, hey, sorry. No, but he also has a wife. It's breaking a contract. Not everywhere it's not illegal. In Vegas it isn't. In Nevada. In Nevada. But he wasn't in Nevada. And it is the oldest profession. Yeah. And if it's two consignated adults, what is it? And it's my thing is it's not my business. And if you're single, have had it. Right. Or if, I don't know what his wife, the situation with his wife is. Maybe his wife's like, hey, when you go on the road.
I think I can figure that one out. You know why? Because if that were the case, when this originally broke, he wouldn't have had any problems being honest about it like he is now. Right. I don't know. And she wouldn't have gone on TV in interviews saying, like, I trust my husband. I know my husband. I believe my husband. Oh, boy. Until you get bust with it. And then it's like, it's more embarrassing than anything else. So he had to also, Woods, he is now a registered sex offender. Yeah, the judge is going to make a decision on whether he's going to be a level one, two, or three sex offender in the next few days. And I don't know which one is worse, but there's a lot of stipulations that come with all those. So it ain't going to be easy six years, but a lot easier than spending it behind bars. Radiation has been detected. In California. Didn't know that until this morning when Sienna filled me in. She'll fill you in. And then yesterday, it was later in the show, so you didn't hear this, but we were talking about, we told you we were going to talk about this Chris Brown thing and what he did at Good Morning America. He was interviewed by Robin Roberts. She asked him about the restraining order against him from Rihanna. My guess is they had an agreement that there was going to be no Rihanna questions because he didn't like it. And we have clips from the interview.
Plus, we have producers from the show who tape recorded off-camera repair workers coming to have to fix what Chris Brown allegedly broke in the dressing room after all this went down. Very compelling stuff. All those clips are next. Woods is getting his Lee press on nails on because we're going to send him to a business. Somebody will hear the words, you got cullined. Blah. Oh, wow. So we'll be doing this stuff here with you in just a second about how Chris Brown went nuts yesterday on the set of Good Morning America. He went Chris Brown.
And yeah, you kind of mess things up. We'll tell you what happened. Sienna has breaking news. Yeah, it's really sad news. Elizabeth Taylor passed away this morning at the age of 79. She was in L.A. She died at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center from congestive heart failure. The good thing is that her kids were right by her side. I guess she'd been in the hospital for about six weeks. So this is just coming out right now. This morning, Elizabeth Taylor died at 79. She's a legend, man. She's a legend. She's been around for a long time. Jay went to middle school with her. That's right. He was actually just retiring. Just retiring. You weren't one of her husbands, though, were you? No, no. She was too young for me. He's the principal at our school. Well, Jay had just got done inventing the violin. And so that's how it happened. It's sad. I feel sad. It is sad. So, Sienna. Mike. Tell me about the radiation and all of the stuff. Well, radiation has been detected in California. That's scary. I have a few things to say about it before you panic.
It has not been detected in San Diego. It has been detected in Seattle, San Francisco, Riverside, Anaheim. But health officials are saying the levels are still no health threat. They're still so low. The filters, they were detected on the filters from California and Washington monitors. And they're hundreds of thousands to millions times below levels of concerns. So radiation's been detected, but... To nothing you need to be concerned about. You know what I would want to know? I would want to know, well, what were those levels two months ago? Yeah. And what are they now? What are they now? Because maybe it's so low that it's like the same, you know, that they're just like, yeah, we detect it. They always have always detected it. Well, yeah, I think they're just going nuts and tech. checking everything right now. There is a monitoring station in Kearney Mesa, but there's been no elevation levels. So they're probably detecting this at the beach and the water? Minuscule levels of radioactive radiation has been detected in Hawaii, but still. Minuscule, they say. Yeah, it's very small. What would they say, though, too? Like, if it was really bad, do you think they'd go, okay? I think it would be so sensational that the news would want to be all over it. Yeah.
There's traces of radioactive iodine, cesium, and tellurium. I know. That's what they're saying is from the nuclear accidents in Japan. And that's what's caused the increase. But still, nothing to be worried about. And it hasn't been spotted in San Diego. M1 Perlita from San Marcos. What was the word of the day? Violin. Good work, Perlita. Thank you. Very good work. You got a sweatshirt that's got little earbuds in it. Oh. Oh, wow. And you also got a four-pack of tickets to go to the Nationwide Series for NASCAR, okay? That's pretty sweet. It is sweet. Hang in line. Okay, so yesterday we were talking about, it happened late in the show, we were talking about Chris Brown. And he was on Good Morning America. And Robin Roberts interviewed him. And I have to believe that she had been told by his people, don't ask about Rihanna because there's a restraining order. And she did anyway. My guess is that producers told her to. The reason I say that is because she sounds nervous. Part of the reason she's nervous is she's interviewed him before she went to his house, interviewed him. She sounds nervous asking the question. Take a listen.
What's going on now is that recently the restraining order against you that Rihanna had issued has been relaxed. You can go to events and be in the same room. Have you all seen each other, been around each other? I mean, not really. I mean, it's not really a big deal to me now as far as that situation. I think I'm past that in my life, and I think today is the album day, so that's what I'm focused on. So everybody go get that album. That is something that we are here to talk about, but thank you very much for willing to do that. Now, if she was told not to ask, I'm not down with asking. If there's an agreement, I'm not for breaking an agreement. What if her boss has told her to? If her boss has told her to and she has made an agreement, then you don't. You've made an agreement and you say to your bosses, I made an agreement. And if they say, I don't care about your agreement, you need to do it. I say, eh. We got a problem then because, you know, I got to be a man of my word. I'm not going to I'm not going to lie or I'm not going to discredit myself because you want me to. Right. I have a feeling they told her, look, don't approach this or this or this when dealing with Rihanna. And I think she found like a little loophole like because she didn't ask about what happened then. She's asking, you know, have you seen her since? Like finding ways around it. Yeah. Here she is. She's taking another pass at it. Let's hear her take another pass at it.
You can understand how some people, you know, it was very serious what you went through. Have you been able to, how have you been able to put that? I've been focusing on his album, you know. I think this album is what, you know, I want people to hear and want people to really get into. So definitely this album is what I want them to talk about and not the stuff that happened two years ago. I understand that. I understand that. And thank you for allowing me to go back that way because there have been a lot of people that were tweeting about it. He didn't really allow her. Right. Did it. Yeah, I don't know what you're thanking him for. He didn't say it was okay. Now, here is a clip. The Good Morning America producer decided, okay, I've called a repair person to come because what did he do, Sienna? He freaked out after that interview. He went out and danced after that and performed a song and then went backstage and smashed. The mirror in the dressing room apparently threw a chair against it because that's not a mirror you can just break with your fist. And people heard loud noises like the makeup and staff and called security. And so security comes, takes a look at it, and they got to call somebody to come fix it. Meanwhile, Chris Brown is outside shirtless. Shirtless. He ripped off a shirt. He's shirtless walking around New York City. Outside. Outside. Shirtless. He's walking like going to a cab or going to a...
Are there photos of this? Yeah, there's pictures of him walking the street outside without a shirt. I'll let you know. Sign me up for that. Oh, wow. If they're authentic or not. Yeah, L.O.B. is going to have that portrait printed. Gigantic. So here's the Good Morning America person decides, all right, I'm going to press record when the repair people show up. Thanks for coming at the last minute. But I have a police officer coming. to take a look at it before we do any work. She's like, thanks for coming at the last minute after Chris Brown has gone into a violent rage. At least Chris Brown's the one at fault. And I have a picture of it also. Of Chris Brown behaving like a monster. In a violent rage. In a violent rage. And this woman loves that she's the one that's there. Oh, yeah. She loves it. If you guys can do me a favor, you gotta, I mean, it's all over the... Oh, my God. Just pull me a solid and tweet this if you can. Yeah. Sorry to get the word out. If you'd like a moment to tweet pic, can I just get into the...
The shot. The shot. I'd like to put my arm around the shards. Actually, get me more candid as if I just happened upon it. Right. This is my reaction. Oh, my. I'm going to put my hands to my face like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. Twit pic. Twit pic. Now. Can you tag on Twitter? Excuse me. Jason, can he tag on Twitter? Can you tag me? That's funny. If you need a caption, just put producer scared after Chris Brown goes into violent rage. That could be the caption. You don't have to use my name. If you want to, you can't. You don't have to. Sherry Masterson, if you want to put it. But you don't have to. It's M-A-S-T-E-R. Sherry with a C. With a C. Can I just see how you spelled it? You don't have to, though. You don't have to. If you don't want. See, you put an S. It's Sherry with a C. Never I said C. Never I said that part. Sorry, just, you know, if we're just talking semantics. Doesn't matter, bud. Woods just can't concentrate because he's working on his Lee Press on Nails. I'm trying to get ready. Maybe you do Lee Press on Nails after. Dude, have you seen how long this takes? You're just concentrating on your nails. I'm concentrating on Chris Brown, but I have to get this done or you'll be like... I've never seen a guy so interested in getting his nails done. Oh, he does just have to get... It's so hard to do. It's so hard to do. It takes forever.
I want to be ready to go list out somebody or culling somebody. Or vamp somebody. Or vamp somebody. Gosh darn, these things are not comfortable. And they're not long. I wish they were long. You just look like a drag queen. Yeah. You don't look like a drag queen. Once he puts a wig and black lipstick on. I wanted it prettier, though. Wow. Whoops. There it is. I never thought I would do this. Didn't I? Didn't you? The spelling bee girl? Yeah, that's what I was wondering because you paused it. Got a spelling bee girl. The girl that won the national spelling bee? Yeah, from San Diego. Well, no, it was the San Diego. No, she won the San Diego Union Tribune spelling bee, and she's moving to the national spelling bee now. It's going to be in Washington, D.C. Now, this is a student from Frances Parker Middle School. I can't pronounce her name. Let me see it. I'll tell you.
Good luck. I can do it. His face. Tough. I'll take a whirl. I'm in Spanish, Mike. Here. I don't even know. I can't even begin. I believe it to be Indian. Oh, okay. Snigda Nandipati. Let's hear yours, Wood. Snigda Nandipati. Yeah. Here, let's see what the news says. Let's see if they pronounce her name. They'll get it right. Court ordered anger management training for beating up Brianna. A Francis Parker Middle School student is San Diego's newest star. Oh, you coward. Come on. They may say it. They'll say it. They'll say it. They'll say it. W-A-S-T-R-E-L. That's correct. Oh, yay.
Snigda Nandipati won yesterday. Snigda Nandipati. They did good. 42nd Annual San Diego Union Tribune Spelling Bee with that seven-letter word. Wow, look at that award. Especially when it comes to money. Looks like an Oscar. 12-year-old studied over 20,000 words and made flashcards with her dad to get ready. She received a $100 savings bond and will compete in the National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C. And I wonder how long they remember all the other words that they studied. I don't know. It depends on how you learn it. Sometimes you can retain those things a long way. You know, Robert is a bit of a minstrel, not a washer. Did you hear that? 20,000 words on flashcards. She drove me freaking crazy with these flashcards. Crazy. Crazy. She won. All day the flashcard, the flashcard, the flashcard. What is her name again? Snigda Nadibadi. I said Snigda. Baby. Come on, sweetheart. Daddy's tired. I want to watch football. This is enough with the words already. Ask mom to hold the flashcards. Please.
I'm done with it. I know, dear. But you know what? I have to have me time. You get you time. What about me time? I love her. I want to do the flashcard. It is enough already. It is enough. 20,000. 20,000. You must be very proud, Mr. Nandi Paddy. I am proud. Okay. I am proud. Should be. Yesterday, seven hours. But the day before, Eight and a half. Day before that, four hours. Okay. Okay. Maybe we take one day that I get me time. Mr. Nandapati actually said that when studying with her, he could not pronounce 99% of the words. And you want to know? I sit there for hour after hour after hour after hour. Now, I say this is the way you become champion, but... I am so tired. I want to watch a little ESPN. I understand that. Not too much to ask. I work very, very hard. Is it too much to ask that I work and I come home and just want to watch a sports center? Is that so much? But no. But no. No. I don't know what they are. I'm sorry. I know I said it wrong. You know what, dear?
If you want to be such a critical, why don't you come to tell her the flashcard? Why don't you do flashcard for five minutes? I know I am a father. You don't have to remind me all the time. You do it then. Fine. I'm done. I am over it. Buddy, your boy, make a big noise. Playing in the street, gonna be a big man someday. I just want to listen to some music. I just want to hear the Queen, and that's it. I want to listen to the Queen, and that is it. Rock you. Okay, it's my time now. Sing it. We will, we will rock you. We're crying out loud. Buddy, your young man, hard man, shedding in the street, gonna take on the world's eyes. I know it says young man. I know it. So it isn't always right. Mr. Nandapati, calm down. I'm trying. Your daughter just won. To listen to some music already. You should be proud. Your daughter is representing San Diego. I am. But do I ever get time on Lazy Boy myself? You will once the spelling bee is over. Hit pause. Someday you got blood on your face. You big disgrace. Waving your banner all over the place. We will, we will rock you.
Singing. Singing. We will, we will. Thank you. That's all I'm trying to do. It's just for a minute of me. Congratulations. That's right. Hey, let's play buzzword. 5701949. We're going to play buzzword. Jay's going to give us a buzzword. Then he's going to give us clues. And we got to yell out what it is. If you're just tuning in, Elizabeth Taylor has passed away this morning. Very sad. When we come back, we'll play buzzwords. You need to call right now and either pick me, L-O-B, Sienna, or Woods. 570-1949. Buzzword in moments. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, did you guys hear about the naked woman that was stuck on the cliff above Black's Beach yesterday? Oh, go on. Oh, wow. Yeah, this poor woman. Her name hasn't been released. Does she need help?
For whatever reason, she was stuck stranded on a part of a 450-foot tall cliff right above Black's Beach below the Torrey Pines glider port. And lifeguards were called around 2 p.m. It took rescuers 30 minutes to rig a series of ropes to harness her down, and a lifeguard had to help repel her down the cliff. Naked. This woman's naked. Oh, my gosh. I know he's probably going to apply to be a lifeguard later this afternoon, so he can do stuff like that. But, yeah. We don't know why she had no clothes on. Yeah. It was a weird story. Yes, and if you haven't heard, Elizabeth Taylor, breaking news this morning, passed away at the age of 79. So sad. She was at the Cedars-Sindy Medical Center in L.A., and her kids were by her side, so that's good news. Also, really quick, yesterday, the U.S. became the first nation to block food imports from Japan. Now, this is, yes, because of radiation concerns. The Food and Drug Administration stopped imports of milk, vegetables, and fruit.
It's not often that I say that I believe that what you're about to hear is a first, but I do believe that this is the first time that a man in the United States of America at a professional broadcast facility has ever presented a sports cast wearing Lee press on nails and a hairnet for his wig that will go on in just a few moments. So Woods, What's going on in sports? Well, Mike, I'm really glad you asked me that question. So you're a college student. You want to go see your favorite team. The Aztecs play the Huskies tomorrow night. Better have some dough. Let me tell you what tickets are going for. Between $289 and $1,177 on StubHub. Holy cow. On Craigslist, their ticket's selling for $700 apiece.
Holy cow. If you're a San Diego State student now, there were 1,250 tickets left for them allotted, but those are still $186 apiece. Holy cow. If you're going to take it up to Anaheim to watch San Diego State tomorrow night, better have some dough in your wallet for sure. And then everybody can rest easy now. So Barry Bond's trial started yesterday. Guys, it wasn't steroids. It was flaxseed oil and arthritic cream. That's what it was. That's what his defense attorney said. Duh, flaxseed. Duh, flaxseed. He said he had no idea he was doing steroids. Flaxseed oil. I've been rubbing flaxseed oil on my belly for years, so now I know it causes ridiculous growth. Sunflowers. Sunflowers. Yes, flaxseed oil. Flaxseed oil. Yeah, so there you go. You made popcorn in it. And so it happened. It happens all the time. I eat flaxseed crackers, and I don't have a gigantic head. You're also not a warlock. Yeah, I guess so. Not a warlock. If you were, you'd know better. Boom. Boom. An M1, ladies and gentlemen, is somebody that is passionate about the Mikey show. Let me tell you something. If you're an M1, you want to wear Woods' face as your skin. Yeah. You do. All right?
You will purposefully go out and buy a D-cup bra because you love Sienna. Yep, you do. All right? That's what it is. You want to get a rooster tattoo because L-O-B has one. And then you want to get it removed because I hate mine too. That's right. You just want to do what we do. That's right. You want to sleep in my bed at my home. That's right. And you want to nuzzle next to Underwood's arm and feel his underarm hair against your head because you're an M1. You love us so much. That's what you would do. If you're not a black man, you want to do like the guy in the movie Soul Man. Yeah. And make yourself look black, even though it doesn't actually look like you are by going tanning. And then maybe you'll have a shot with me. With L-O-V. You want to shop at Tommy Bahama because it's Mike's favorite store. Yes. Oh, wow. Yes. And M1 says, what's up? No, Jay. Not cool anymore, Jay. No, M1 doesn't say, what's up? No, that's not what an M1 says. That's a long time ago. At all.
I missed the boat. All right, let's play buzzword. 5701949. M1 Andy from Vista, who would you like to pick? I'll take ribs and nails. You got it. Hang on the line. M1 Rick, who do you want? LLB, let's go. You got it. She does very good at this game. M1 Chris from Mira Mesa, who do you want? Mikey. All right. Mikey. Winning. It's just, you know. Part of my everyday job title is just being bad at games. M1, get sticker maker. Who would you like to select? There you go. Lucky. God, I love you. Badly. I love anyone that picks me. Sienna's usually picked last in this game. In this game, it's not that big a deal. Listen, you're going to do great this time, Sienna. We're going to play buzzwords. She doesn't lie. She never has. Now, Jay's going to give us a buzzword. We stand up. Stand up for this. We have to yell out the answer. I'm going to give her an C-L-O-B just so she doesn't yell at me. Yeah, again. Okay, today's buzzword is bath. Bath. Bath. B-A-T-H. We're playing for a four-pack of tickets to the Fred Hall Ultimate Outdoor Experience. All right. Do it. Here we go. Bath. A romp in a puddle by our feathered friend. Fred Bath. Damn it. She did so bad.
So bad. Let me give this to Sienna. Is anyone giving a score? Let's do it. I am. You know that. Here we go. That's all I'm good for. Come on. Lose money on a deal. Take a bath. Woods. Dang it. Never heard that before. Me neither. Yeah. It's in Wall Street. The lavatory. Bathroom. Sienna. Yeah, yeah. Take it. Take it. A terrycloth. Bathroom. Bath towel. Sienna. Wow. Sienna. Isolate. That was the most timid suck it I've ever heard. I didn't know if I could say it. Once it came out, I was like, suck it. Here we go. Suck it? Question mark? Public bathing space. Bathroom! Bathhouse! Lauren. Of course, Elleby knows about bathhouse. Gordon and I are tied with two. Woods has won. That's two people I've won. Yeah, exactly. Creepy. Okay, here we go. House with one tub and two toilets. Bathroom! Single bathroom house! One and a half bath! Single bed bath. One bedroom, one bath! Bad bath and beyond! Say it again! Say it again! Okay, I've lost you. House with one tub and two toilets. Two bedroom house! Two bathroom house! Two bathroom house!
Okay, you all get it. I can't. One half bath. You get a bath. It's bath. You get a bath. You get a bath. It's bath and a half, and I couldn't. What? No one ever said that. Yeah, I do. One tub and two toilets. Bath and a half? Yeah. I don't know. Moving on. Don't act like you know it, Mike. It is. You don't know it. Half bath. You don't know it. I said half bath. Half bath. You did. You're halfway there. I said cream and sugar. Yeah. Woods just started saying. Crazy things. I said Nevada. Oh, gosh. Okay, here we go. Store. Son of a. Darn it. Weird that you got that one. Yeah. You just call it an errand. An errand? Big terrycloth rectangle. Bathrobe. Bath towel. Bath mat. Lauren. Dang it. Bath towel. Bring it. Why is she so good at that? It's Mikey and Woods 1, Lauren 3, Sienna 2. I'm out of breath. Okay. We've got to keep going today. Here we go. On the floor next to the tub. Matt! Mike. Dang it! Yeah! Wow. A sudsy, relaxing... Bath! Bubble bath! Lauren. Lauren! Yes! New word. Oh, man. What is it? I'm so stressed out. I am so stressed out. This game kills me. Say the stupid word!
Yeah. I know. Quit yelling at me. Why are you yelling at me? Greatest game in radio history. I'm going to cry. Say it. Okay, I'm going to say it's bull. Get the dumb button ready. No. Get the dumb button ready. One of us is going to swear. Wait, wait, wait. Bull, right? Bull. Okay. B-U-L-L. Okay. Just making sure. The center of target. Bull! Bull! Bull! Lauren. Sorry. Okay, here we go. He'll likely steal your milk money. Bully! Oh, a three-way tie. Mikey, Woods, and Lauren got a point. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. A very long, raw, high leash. What? What? Raw, high leash. Bullwhip! There you go. Oh, my gosh! A very tall, raw, high leash. What? Mikey and I have three. Whatever you think you know about this man is a rebel. Shut up. We're hungry, hungry. Shut up. Shut up. Stop. Move forward. Oh, my God. Say it. Oh. Around. Bull in a china shop. Wow. Dang it. A rounded edge tile. Bull. Bull nose. Bull tile. Mikey with bull nose.
Look at you knowing something. Yeah! Yeah! Oh, my gosh. Easy, Sally Homemaker. No kidding. Mikey will know this one. I know Bed Bath & Beyond and Bull Nose. Like, Home X. I got it. Okay, the score is Lauren 5, Mikey 4, Woods & Sienna 3. Oh, it's a close game. Here we go. A Spanish sports arena. Bull Arena! Bull Ring! Bull Ring! Bullfighting! Bullfighter! It's Bull Ring. Bull Ring, I got it. Woods. Bull S. Woods just shoveled oatmeal in his mouth. What's the score? I just told you. I forgot. Five. Lorna's five. Mikey and Woods have four. And I have three. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. These are nine corners. Just make them one. No, no. They're one. De Niro's boxer. Raging ball. Raging ball. Raging ball. Wow. Dang it. Dang it. Dang it. Lorna and Woods are tied. Okay.
This is the final question. Oh, gosh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. A destructive. See, Lauren. Lauren won. Lauren won. Dang it. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Man, what a good game. Lauren, I would take pride in that one because that was close. I knew that that one had to be said. I know. So I just started yelling at whatever you said. Oh, my gosh. I'm exhausted after we do that again. Oh, my gosh. M1 Rick from Escondido. L-O-B. Got the job done for you, bro. You got it. Oh, yeah. That's L-O-B's. That's what you do when she wins for you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Hang on. I'm going to pass out. Oh, it's exhausting. It's exhausting. Did you put that up for me? I did. Where is it? It's on your main page down at the very bottom.
Okay, wait a minute. Let me see. It's a character that L.O.B. used to play when she was a kid. That's the robot. That's the robot. That's awesome. Oh, my heart. So, speaking of L.O.B., her recap begins as follows. After Matt and I watched The Fighter, I wanted to wrestle. What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing. I mean, that's how her recap begins. Honestly, I think the same thing happened to Todd and I when we watched it, too. I remember running after him. He's like, get away from me. I was. I swear. I was. I was pushing him around. I was like, let's go. Come on. Yes. This often happens if I watch a violent movie.
She says, and this doesn't affect kids. He taught me some moves and now I think I could wrestle. Yeah. Let's do it. All right. Well, you're taller. She wants to wrestle the black dude with one leg. Yeah. What are you doing? Hey, Woods, don't break a nail. Woods has fake nails on. You guys know that that's not how you... Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Do you guys know that that's not how you wrestle, by the way? No, you get down on all fours. Did you see what she just did? Yeah, she stuck her knee in the small of your back. That's what he taught me. I'm sorry. Grabbed your shoulders and pulled back. Oh, my. She may have jacked you up. Do it to him. No. No, I'm sorry. Take off the stocking beanie. I got to be ready to jump, Sienna. You know that. Your hair is all smushed. It's pretty funny. It's terrifying. Sorry, I hurt you. It's okay. I'm sorry I hurt you. Oh, my God. I feel like I told him in the right way. He told me to put my knee in their back. That way I can't turn around and flip you. That worked. Do you? I don't have that dynamic. Rebecca and I should develop it. I run around and talk to me. Get away! Get away! Oh, yeah. He's like, what's the matter with you? I run after Jamie and try to smack her in the butt. Yeah. And she's like...
Lauren said the fighter sucks. Crazy. No, I didn't say it sucked. I didn't say it sucked. I said I was bored through three quarters of it. Well, essentially saying it sucks. I was like, okay, I get it, I get it, I get it. And then it finally got exciting about three quarters of the way through it. Amy Adams drove me nuts. I loved her. I couldn't stand her. That was the point of almost every female in that movie was to drive you nuts so that you further were backing up the hero, which was Mark Wahlberg. You couldn't find uglier broads than were his sister. You couldn't. If you looked, you couldn't find her. They're irritating. I think the woman that played his mother, didn't she get the Oscars? She won an Oscar. Said the F word in the Oscars. Oh, yeah. She looks completely different. She was dynamite. I was like, is that her? Sienna, tell us this heartwarming story about the dog that survived a fire after being alone for a month in Boston. Well, you basically just told the story. But it happened in Boston. And this is Lola.
The long-haired dachshund. Like my own zipper is a long-haired dachshund. Oh, yeah. And last month, there was a fire that went through their, they say, the Hyde Park home. That's where the area in Boston is. And the owner thought that the dog was gone. The fire had burned down the house, or not burned it down, but ravaged the house. Comes back to the house, the woman, about a month later, and as she's getting into the door, hears scratching on the other side. And Lola. was alive and frantic to be reunited with her owner, and she was taken to the vet and evaluated, and it looks like she's going to be okay. It was actually misreported. The dog's name was not Lola. The dog's name was Skipper, and we have Skipper on the line right now from Boston. Are you there, Skipper? Hey, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Skipper is... Yeah, Skipper. You're Skipper? Yep. And you're the dog? Yep. And how are you feeling this morning? I'm not bad. How did you do it? 30 days in a house with no food or water? I'm from Boston. So, you know, I'm a fighter. This is how I, you know, this is how I grew up. This is how my father grew up. Yeah. And his father before him. You know, I mean, this is what we do. You're fighters is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. We're fighters, you know. And, you know, I'm from Southie. My mom's from Dorchester. So let me ask you a question, dog. This is the dog's skipper.
Otherwise known as Lola. Don't know how they got the mix up. Because I'm from Lowell. Got it. Got it. Get it? Yeah, I get it. The pride of Lowell. You get that through your head? Oh, wow. Yeah, you don't have to get, you know. Aggressive. I'm not getting squirrely here, pal. All right? I understand. We're talking to Skipper. Yeah, Skipper. A dog from Boston. Yep. South Boston. Yeah. Southie. Southie. Southie. What do you think gives you the resilience? Just being a fighter, man. My father was a cop. My father was a cop. My mother was a cop. My brother was a cop. I had 12 big brothers. Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Tommy, and Brian. Were you a canine cop? Canine cop. Makes sense, Sienna. What do canine cops patrol? They ride along in the back. Sniff out drugs. I sniff drugs. Yeah, you sniff out drugs. Percocet, Oxycontin, cocaine, methamphetamine, marijuana. Speaking of that, how are you dealing with the pain? I'm okay. They got me on some perox right now, and I'm hanging in. They tried to give me Oxys, and I can't take Oxys anymore because I get hooked. Those things are freaking great. You definitely can't drive either, right?
I don't drive because I'm a dog, but I ride in the back of the car. You talk, though. Yeah, you talk. You talk. I'm a little high. I'm on like four Percocets right now. People are saying your survival story is a miracle. It wasn't really a miracle. I mean, you look around Boston. This is what you find. There's fighters. This is what you find. In fairness to L.O.B., you know. Who's L.O.B.? What's that? Who's L.O.B.? Lauren. Lauren? Lauren, yeah. Lauren. Lauren. In fairness to Lauren, you know, she'd let you know that you don't drive. You know, you are a dog. I'm a dog. Yeah. And you're talking, so, I mean, she can't get, you can't get that. Fair enough, fair enough. Normally, you'd find a dog, like, just running around the park. Running around the park. Running around the park. I don't run around the park. No. Okay, I'm a co-op. My brother's a co-op. My father's a co-op. Your father's a co-op. My mother's a co-op. All right. Honest mistake, I guess. Honest mistake. We apologize. We do. We apologize. Settle down over there, all right? Thank you. I'm getting all hopped up. I understand. Thank you. Skipper's on perks, right? Good morning, guys. All right. Good morning. It was an honor. Good morning. It's an honor to talk to you. Ed it with a good morning. Sweet, sweet dog. Yeah. You know, definitely. I'm scared of him. Would you miss a good one? We just talked to Skipper, the dog. From the.
that survived the Boston fire. Love the Boston guys, man. Really good dog. Yeah, I love that accent. Sweet story. It's a sweet story. I got an email for you, but that'll have to wait. By the way, Rebecca Black, the girl that sings the viral Friday song. She went on Jay Leno and talked about the celebrities that have reached out to her. She also did a live performance of this song. And we've got it. And we'll see how it sounds live. We're also sending Woods out now. He's putting his makeup on. He's putting on his lipstick as we speak. He's going to go into a business and cullen them. He's going to put on a long silky black wig. He's going to put on white face powder.
He is going to wear the wig. He's going to go in there. Oh, my God. He just calls that Winsberry. You look scary. Wow. He's really good at putting that lipstick on. You're sick. You're a disgusting creep. Like a dog. All right, so when we come back, we'll do both of those things. There, Woods? Yeah, I'm here. If you want to see what Woods looks like right now, you can go to Facebook.com slash Mikey show. And there's a picture of Woods that says Woods is heading out to Cullen someone. It's unbelievable. And so, Woodsy, we will be going to you in just a minute. Where are you? Where are you standing? Where are you? Maybe we should just do this now.
Yeah, do it. Let's have you call in somebody right now, and then we'll do the other stuff after that. So we'll be playing the Rebecca Black on The Tonight Show in a minute. Okay. And we're going to be throwing knives. We're going to play a game of Let's at 8, and today it's Let's Throw Knives. Don't do this at home, kids. Jack Dagger is in here. He's a professional. He's going to throw knives. We'll tell you all about it. It's very cool. All right, Woods, where in the store are you? Are you ready? Hi, how you doing? He's going up to the counter. Okay, are you in line? Okay. He has an earpiece in that no one knows. No one knows. And he's dressed like a vampire. White face powder, a long wig. Dark lipstick, nails, black long hair. Woods, when you're ready, say ketchup. So when you get in front of the person, say ketchup. That's the word that I'll know that you're ready for me to start.
He's just standing there right now, working his way through line. Poor guy. Hey, how you doing, man? Do you guys sell People magazine? Do you guys sell People magazine? Hey, have you heard that Will and Grace is coming back? Yeah, yeah, Will and Grace is coming back. You like to show friends? You like friends? Have you ever seen a werewolf? Have you ever seen a werewolf? A werewolf? What about a regular wolf? I don't have a TVS card, unfortunately. What about a regular wolf? Oh, that's that one right there? Okay. Have you ever seen a regular wolf? No. What about coyote? What about coyote? Ask me how long I've been sober. No, seriously, ask me. About 20 minutes. I have five dogs. I have five dogs. I have five dogs, too. Yorkies. I saved $58. Do you know how many Lee press-on nails that will buy me? Do you know how many press-on nails that will buy me? Probably a lot. Thank you so much for your help. Hey, thanks, Fabian. You've been culling.
Say it louder. Say it louder. Yell it. Yell it. Ben Collin. Yell it. Ben Collin. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I want it louder. I want it louder. I want you to scream it. Hey, hey. Oh, wow. He booted Chris, our photographer. He saw him recording on the counter. He recording. Oh, my gosh. Chris needs to be slicker at that. Where are you? Chris needs to be slicker at that. It's Chris's fault, man. Adam does it. You can't even tell. What did I tell you about? What I told you, Chris is worthless, you guys. Oh, my God. I never said worthless. The man is nipples on a bowl, all right? I've said it before. Useless. Nipples on a bowl. Chris is the best. People are looking at him like he's insane, he says. Like I'm insane. Where are you? I'm in Chris's car now. Wave. Bye, guys. Tell them it's a full moon tonight. Yeah, yell out the window, full moon tonight. It's a full moon. See you when you get back, pal. Oh, my gosh. Good job. He looks so, so scary. So scary. For him to go through with that after Chris got booted. I knew that Chris was going to get kicked out eventually. When I did the Bieber thing at Burger King.
They wanted him to stop with the photography. He should do it on a phone and pretend like he's just talking or something. You could just put it in the crook of your arm like this. That's what Adam did when he did me. He just put it like that. You couldn't even tell he was filming. You guys have footage of that? Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. There are a lot of comments on our Facebook page about Woods in that wig. I'll read some of them to you. Oh, my gosh. One of them just says, whoa. Whoa. M1 Christine says, disturbing. M1 Kenneth says, hmm, it's Robert Smith. Oh, my gosh. It's the later years, clearly. M1 Moni just woke up and said, what's going on? He sees a picture of Woods. He looks like a scarier Ozzy Osbourne or something like that.
Dark makeup. Oh, he looks so scary. Imagine if Elvira really let herself go. Yeah. Really. Yes. Like really, really let herself go. Like Elvira had been hanging out with Kirstie Alley or something. Yes. What? Eating whole cakes. He did a really good job putting on his lipstick. I didn't do that. He did. Without a mirror. Oh, yeah. Without a mirror. Yeah. He knew exactly what he was doing. You guys ever just fillet a guy after he showed bravery? He is a beast. That's the scariest picture of Woods. I can't get a poor guy. It doesn't look like him. Look at those chins. He looks bad in that picture. I feel bad. It's nothing about that. But Woods doesn't normally look like that. That's what it's a bad picture. Just incredible. He looks terrible. He looks so scary. But his nipples are hard as rocks, like usual. Is he coming up? Wow. There he comes. Wow, that was bad. Well, it's right here. It's right downstairs. Oh, careful. There's a guy with knives there. Oh, wow. Look at what's on Facebook. Well done. Oh, my. That was tough. Was it? There were three people behind you? You're sweating.
And it's making your mascara run. Your face powder. I can't wait until you and Jay have to do this. It's unbelievable. Oh, my gosh. Now he just has lipstick cut in no way. And white face powder. This one is not coming off. They will. Don't rip your nail off, dude. How do you get nails off? Fake nails. Well, those are supposed to be stickers, so you don't stick it to your actual nail. You glue it to the sticker. Let's go to the Vietnamese salon today. We'll do our nails. He'll get them off. Just looking for a reason. Soak him in some water. Like a bowl of water. Maybe I am. Yeah. Let's just go get our nails done. You know, like guys. Yeah. Yeah. It's a couple of dudes. Why don't we go to the Vietnamese place and we'll get our nails done, dude. Yeah, come on. Wow. We got to take a picture of you next to the new Vanity Fair with Robert Pattinson on it. Wow. Pattinson. Pattinson. Pattinson.
For those of you, because there's a lot of guys listening right now that don't know, he's Dracula in Twilight. No, he's not. He's a vampire. He plays a Dracula. A vampire. Count Dracula. Count Dracula. No. He plays Count Dracula. He plays a Count Dracula. Yeah. Not the. Not the. No, he does not. We're not stupid here. Yeah, we're not an idiot. Right. Come on. Now, I heard in the next one, Ty Diggs is going to be in it, and it's going to be Count Chocula. Yeah. You have that going for you, L.O.B. You can't just say that to people. L.O.B. This isn't weird, is it? What, you just sitting there with lipstick and powder on your face, kind of running from the sweat? Oh, my God. I don't think it's weird at all. He was not taking any guff. Was he a tough guy? No. What did he look like? Short, Latino. His name was Fabian. I was here, so. His name was Fabian. Fabian. Fabian. There was a pretty, I think, from what I could see, because I didn't look in the eye, but a pretty cute blonde behind me. I could be wrong, though. But I saw beautiful long blonde hair. Maybe you had a shot. Could have been a rose from Titanic, for all I know. That was great. It was. All right, let's play this thing for you. So you know Rebecca Black. She has a viral video on YouTube right now where she sings this song called Friday.
And the reason that it's become viral is because the lyrics of the song are so rudimentary. Yeah, they're just really rudimentary. It's just observational. She's just saying what she sings. The more I hear it, the more I like it. Me too. I think of driving down by the Santa Monica Pier in a convertible, just bumping it. Especially Friday right after school. I wouldn't want to bump this. So last night she goes on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. And she talks about the celebrities that have contacted her. I know when that whole thing started, a lot of people came to your defense. Ryan Seacrest. Yeah. Ryan Seacrest has been amazing. He's my boy. And Simon Cowell. He's a big fan. He's her boy. Yeah. That's pretty cool. She wants to meet me. That's so cool. She's 13, isn't she? She's 13. Yeah. That's awesome. So who else have you heard from? Nicole Richie, Joe Maddon, Willow Smith.
And so many people. That's cool. Yo, girl, this is Willow Smith. You want to kick it or what? I don't know if I put Willow Smith in that long list of celebrities. Girl, you with you crazy? She is Will Smith's daughter. I thought that was his son. That's Jaden. Oh, my bad. You want to hear her sing the live version? Yes. A hundred. There we go. Acoustic. You want to sing the song for us? Unplugged. Okay, come on over and sing. Here we go. Here's a mic right here. There we go. Instead of running her voice through something. Yeah, they have to. What is partying when you're 13? What does that mean? Pizza, soda. Getting your nails done by your friends. Shots. Jaeger. Blasting rails. I don't know. When you're 13, what do you do? What is it like if you're like, hey, I can't wait to party this weekend. It was a sleepover. Crank calls. No, people.
Frenching? Probably start partying at 13. That's eighth grade. I knew friends that partied. I don't believe that Rebecca Black is a party. I think she's a sweet girl. Yeah, Sienna. Yeah. She could be. Sienna actually off air said, I think she's a little hooah. Sienna said that she looks like Al Pacino in Scarface sitting behind a desk with a pile of cocaine. And Sienna goes, she probably says this. A little baby with you because your womb is so polluted. I think she's actually cute. I think she looks like Matthew McConaughey's wife or whatever. Well, then why did you again quote Al Pacino from Son of a Woman and say, Whoah? Why did you do that? All I'm saying is that 13 is when the boys are already there. It's not just innocent stuff anymore. What does getting down mean? Winning. Dancing. Dancing. Frenching. Frenching. We're going to get down.
Did you French at 13? Yes. Really, dude. True story. You know what I mean? What if she means by that? What if she means that she's dancing? Yeah. I hope that's what she means. She's probably doing the twist. Yeah. Yeah. She's doing the twist. Just setting some stuff up in here. Well, I thought you guys may want to also know that Forbes has reported that her song has been downloaded on iTunes over 2 million times. Now, the song is 70 cents. Per download. So she and Arc Music Factory have already netted over a million dollars. Wow. Are you serious? Yeah. She's not mad at it now. No way. That's a lot of dough. I wonder how much she's seeing for that. $75. She tweeted the other day that they're writing more songs too. Yeah, then it's Saturday. She said it's not going to be about weekdays or months or numbers or colors. It's not. Oh. It's not going to be about. August, August. Check this out in August. It's Christmas. It's Christmas. Went downstairs and opened my presents. Mom got me a brand new car.
I really liked it. I got behind the wheel and stuck the key in the ignition. Then turned the key and what do you know, the car, it started. Dropped it down to reverse. Backed out of my driveway and took a left. Went down and met L.O.B. at the ice cream stand. Yeah. Homeroom, homeroom. It all started in homeroom. Got there at 7.01. Supposed to be there at 7. It's home. I don't know why Sienna has to be so hard on her. Why do you hate Rebecca Black? Why does your shirt say Rebecca Black with a red line through her face? It was on sale, you guys. Why are you wearing a Tupac shirt? I love Rebecca Black. Your back of your shirt says Rebecca Black is a bee. Yeah. And on the front of it, it's a picture of Al Pacino from Scarface. Yeah, with her face superimposed. Yeah, and you had her face superimposed, and it says the real Scarface is this bee. Yeah, and she's got piles in front of her, and it says more like Rebecca White. Rebecca Black is the next Lindsay Lohan, is what my shirt says. Rebecca Black does so much.
junk that she can't even deal with it, man. She should be called Rebecca White. Yeah, Rebecca White because of all that powder all over the side of her nose, man. Sienna despises you. Do you hate Rebecca Black? I don't. I've never met someone that hated anything so much. I even said that the more I hear the song, the more I like it. Adolf Hitler called. He goes, man, you're hateful. You're so mean. You're a hateful woman. Jealous of her millions now. All right. So this is last night. I guess ABC did best in film, the greatest movies of our time. It's never what we personally would think. Of course not. Five was Casablanca. Four was When Harry Met Sally. Great movie. Okay, yeah, but is it in the top five ever made? They said that's the top four movie ever made. The number three, sure, The Godfather. I'm down with that. Number two, Dirty Harry. Really? No. Number two? Number two. It's a good movie. And number one. Where shall I go? What shall I do? Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Is it the best quotes in movies? No. Are you sure? I'm reading it. Think about it. Dirty Harry. Best in film. The greatest movies of our time. It's got to be quotes. If you think about it. It's got to be one line. I'll have what she's having. Oh my gosh. I'll have her. What she's having as long as what she's having has to do with sex. Make mine a double. Save that clip. No need. I already have it. It's my nerve. Set that for my alarm. Listen to it back. Is that Rebecca Black? I want to see Rebecca. She's 13. I was talking to Mike. I mean Rebecca's grandmother. That's what I meant. Since that baby.
She was hot when she was little. She's still a little snotty, isn't she? I'll show Sally Harry. I want home. It's just what I was going for. I had to spank Rebecca's grandma. Creeps. Naughty. When we come back, we're going to play a game of Let's. Yeah. Oh, boy. Now, today, let's throw knives. Oh, my God. Jack Dagger. Can I not be in the room? It's terrifying. I can't wait to see what this is like. So, he really does, man. He throws knives. So rad. And he can throw them, like, when people are standing there, he can, like, knock apples off your head and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, he does that kind of stuff. All right. So.
We'll tell you all about it, and we'll experience it. We'll be playing Let's in just a moment today. Let's throw knives. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, this is something kind of cool that I really especially want Lauren to do. I told her about it this morning. Remember how Affleck fired Gilbert Godfrey, who's been their spokesperson for 10 years? Well, they are now looking for a new voice for the duck, the Affleck duck. Affleck! There you go. And what they want you to do is try out, submit a 30-minute video with your best Affleck voice. 30 minutes? 30 seconds. That's a 30-minute video. No way. What do you do? You just sit down in a chair for 30 minutes or half an hour? Yeah, sit up on coffee. Hey, how you doing? It says submit a 30-minute video with your best Aflac to quackaflac.com. And it says have fun with a voice and remember to be creative. We're not looking for Gilbert Godfrey. We're looking for you. Oh, wow. So something really cool, if you can make cool voices and stuff like that, make some money doing that.
That was Lauren yesterday. Yes. And also, I thought this is kind of interesting. There's a new iPhone app that deletes... Drunken messages, pictures, et cetera, on Facebook. It's called Last Night Never Happened. And apparently all you do is you go on to this app, you enter the time that you started drinking, and all posts from Facebook or Twitter will be deleted since that time. It's called Last Night Never Happened, and it's an app on the iPhone. It's incredible. I know. It's incredible. You know who doesn't have to worry about that? Fair enough. Yeah. It's a color after one. I'm a little drunk. And I want to have sex with you now. I won't have to worry about this because I can't have enough.
You remember our phone screener, Will, and what he wrote on Facebook. On his birthday, people drunk in Facebook. Oh, yeah. He wrote a sentence that didn't, there was no word that was made to any sense. Just be in a wig, a guy to gats a guy. That was it. Gee. You wee. He actually wrote that. He wrote that. Word for word. I read his drunken post from his birthday the night before. One more time, Jay. Just be in a wig, a guy to gats a guy. Gee. Oh my gosh. That app will protect you from things like that. Last night never happened is what it's called. It's a quarter after one and I got my Nuva ring from CVS and I need you now. It should just be a breathalyzer on your phone. You can't operate it. Unless you want to call 911. 911 or like You can put one number in. One. Taxi number. That's it. Even that's dangerous for a lot of people. That's true. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, the NFL owners voted yesterday. They are making a change in the NFL. They are moving the kickoffs to the 35-yard line instead of the 30.
In some cases, eliminating the runback. Really? Yeah, they're keeping the touchback at the 20-yard line, but they are moving the ball up to the 35-yard line. No longer will be kicking off from the 30. That means there's not going to be any runbacks. Very few. You know, depending on weather, depending on the strength of the kicker's leg. But yeah, I mean, five yards makes a... ton of difference on kickoffs. And there are NFL kick returners. I was listening to Joshua Cribs this morning. I had some audio, but Jay recorded over it, of him talking about it. And he's bummed. He's like, this is how I made a name for myself returning kicks and whatnot. It's exciting. It's also the most dangerous play in football. Is it really? And they're all about the safety now, are they? And this story... I'm almost thinking we should save it. It's that good. Dez Bryant of the Dallas Cowboys. This is the guy, Sienna, you brought him up yesterday, that they were hazing him. He wouldn't carry the pads. Right. He's now been banned from a mall in Dallas that I know very well, North Park Center, and he and his buddies were asked to pull their pants up because their underwear was showing. What? The security guards came in and said, you guys got to pull your pants up. Pull up your pants. Your underwear's hanging out. And they're like, no, don't come up to us. Dez Bryant actually said, what the F?
You stopped me like I stole something. And they're like, sir, we just want you to put your pants up. And he wouldn't do it. Cops came, removed him from the mall, and now it's been reported he's banned for three months. Okay, wait. Here's the thing. I don't like the way he reacted to it, but is there a law? You can't. If your pants are hanging down that low. How low? Kids are, like, looking at you, and that's not good. I couldn't walk around with my pants. You don't have to show me. You don't have to show me. You don't. Please, I'm so uncomfortable. Woods. Like that? We have people in the studio. He's like the dog that inappropriately licks himself when you have company. Again. I saw the top of his cheek. That's awesome. If you put it on the tee, you're going to have to knock it out of the park. Maybe don't put it on the tee. That's okay.
Creep. That scared me. That time I had to see Woods' butt. Oh, my God. Not like I had to see it. Payback to me. You learned your lesson. Let's throw knives. Yeah. What do you think? Oh, my gosh. Let me talk to my friend, Aime. Okay, so Aime is here. I've known Aime for years, and she called me, and she knows me, even though we're good friends. Whatever it is that you're doing, I got to have a buy-in. And when you told me about this, I was like, in, in, in. Fun, fun, fun. Immediately. And we've been friends for 18 years, not 15. Is that what I'm saying? Every year, you're like, we've been friends for 15 years. Yeah, but every year you go, we've been friends for 42 years. And I'm like, eh. I know. We've been friends for 21 years. I haven't even been to San Diego. I know. I know. Okay, so tell everybody about what year this is. Okay, so. The Fred Hall Show, which is a boating and fishing show, has been totally rebranded, and it's now the ultimate outdoor experience. And it's all about boating, fishing, hunting, camping, wakeboarding, water sports, and it's just all interactive. Now, that sounded cool to me, but it's the stuff they're actually doing there. So there's, like, the sideshow. You know, like, any event has the cool stuff. So we brought in Jack Dagger, the King of Fling. The King of Fling. The King of Fling is here. Look at him. He's in it.
He's got a cowboy hat on and knives strapped to his side. Holstered. Holstered to his side. He's got on his western shirt. You don't want to mess with this guy. He's got a whip. No. The guy's got to whip. And knives in his holsters. Yeah. Scorpions on his shirt. He's like precision knife thrower, bull whipper, and he's going to be out performing at the Fred Hall show. So that's one of many things. But he is here because he is so cool, and you guys are going to throw, and there's bull whipping, and I'm scared a little. Yeah. He has an assistant. He has an assistant, Jenny Lin. Jenny Lin. Okay, so. Let me ask you, Jack Dagger, because I told you, I had a lot of questions for you. Yeah, let's shoot. Okay. He's big. Big dude. I get that a lot. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. He's tall. He's tall. That's why I wear the tight pants. Yes, yes, yes. He's easy. Look at the fun bags on that hole's helmet. Okay. So, Jack, you have been throwing knives for how long? I'm not good at math, but since I was 13. Okay.
At least four years. Oh, go well. At least four years. Okay. Now, how does one pick this up? Did you say one day, you know what? I've seen guys throw knives. I think I can do that. And you just started going through the kitchen and you were grabbing knives and you took them in the backyard and you just started throwing them? Yeah, pretty much. I think every guy I've ever met and most women have had one. knife-thrown experience in their life. Somebody saw a movie, they're like, oh, that looks cool, and grabbed the first thing out of their kitchen or a pocket knife or a screwdriver and just started chucking it in the dirt. They're like, wow, this crap is hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they quit. Yeah, yeah. I have not thrown a knife. I've thrown them at the ground. I've thrown them at the ground and tried to make them stick, and I've done it once, and the wrong end hit, and then I gave up. Did you ever play that game, the dumbest game known to men? Was it mumbly peg or stretch where you throw knives between somebody else's feet? Yep. No. I don't know how we all survived. I don't know. I played it too. Okay. Now, how long does it take to get to the point where you are? Well, I've been doing it most of my life. Okay. So that might indicate something. However, I can get you guys sticky knives in less than five minutes. Yeah, I'll throw one at wood. That's the basic concept.
Woods would be a great target. He looks a little wide. Sturdy is a big target. Wide. You've got plenty of extra padding to protect your organs. That's right. Wow. It cuts like a knife. No, you don't. Cuts like a knife. Cuts like a knife. You're really quite svelte. The dagger. Are you? If by svelte you mean fat, then yes. I am quite svelte. You know, as we're coming in, Woods was actually going out to do his bit. And we see this goth guy with the long hair. What in the heck have we got ourselves into? And I'm like, it's Nathan Explosion from Death Clock. Kind of looked like that. I like that. You did, totally. You did. Totally. All right, so you are, tell us what you're going to do. Here or at the Fred Hall Show? Both. Okay, well at the Fred Hall Show we do a 30 to 45 minute show, comedy show, some audience participation, but mostly comedy. Some audience participants. Yeah, I'll leave it at that. I'll leave it at that. Okay. And I do a cucumber cut finale that only I can do in the whole world. I performed it on The Tonight Show during Conan O'Brien's brief tenure. My assistant, Jenny Lynn, puts a cucumber on the inside of her unprotected forearm. I throw knives around her arm, ending with one knife that goes through the cucumber and hopefully not cutting or killing her. Wow. It's pretty exciting. Cutting or killing. Cutting or killing. Raise your hand if you're interested in their relationship.
Oh, yeah. Every single hand. Including Jack Dagger. He wants to know, are they married? Are they friends? Are they, you know... Lovers. Internet dating. Internet dating. Are they internet dating? It was knifefetish.com. Okay. No, actually, she just lost the will to live. I found her at a suicide hotline place. Oh, wow. No, we have a mutual friend. She's a fantastic performer. She has an amazing singing voice. She's just a great all-around gal, and I was looking for someone new to work with. Here she is. Not a bad choice. Listen. She's fearless. You know what, though? Nude to work with? If I were her boyfriend or husband and I took one look at this guy, I'd go, you're not working with him. Yeah, you're not going on the road with this guy. You're not working with this guy. I'm sorry. Were you in the Most Beautiful People episode? What's it called? The People magazine, Most Beautiful People? Well, it was the Sexiest Men Alive. Yes. Oh, really? No big deal. No big deal. These are the pearly snaps. Wait for it. Are you ready to see them? Yeah, I want to see them. 70s white man. I'm really so weird.
It's going to be weird. Oh, weird, weird. Oh, weird, oh, weird. Okay. Oh, wow. Hey, we have the exact same amount of hair on our chest. That's amazing. Actually, we kind of look like a before and after photo. Oh, man. I need a shark. I opted out of the bikini wax part. Yeah, I apparently did not. One of the best three chest hairs. He looks like Homer Simpson's head. Four days. It's amazing. You have a beautiful chest. By the way, I'm going to say this. As Jack was making all those jokes, his assistant didn't even crack a smile. She's used to his bits. She's like, great. You're hot, whatever. Are you guys dating? That's a big fat negative. No, you're not. She's like, we're cheating, but we're not. We're not dating. We're not dating. He has a 12-month-old. We were talking about babies. That's right. And a big wangling. I forgot. I didn't. I forgot. Are you going to teach your son to do this? Yes. Heck yes. His son's name is Jack. Jack Arthur. I picked my show name after my grandfather, who's my hero, Jack Arthur Bennett, and I named my son Jack Arthur Abrams in honor of him. Nice. And so, you know, it's great. And he just turned 12 months, one year, on St. Paddy's Day. Nice.
So as long as he wants to milk that, he can. There you go. He'll never have to buy a drink on his birthday. Yeah. All right. Let's do this. Let's do this, Jack Dagger. What are you going to do first? And just so you know, again. Fred Hall Show, Ultimate Outdoor Experience. They're going to let kids fish out there. Like, they're going to have a stocked thing where kids can fish, right? You know what's so cool is that this is like, you know how everyone's like, fun for everyone. It really is. I mean, there's like the kids fish free trout pond. They can catch and release fish. There's like 200 seminars. There's cooking seminars. This guy teaches you how to cook fish and game. I say that because I know you like to cook. Wild game. Wild game. Lots of wild game. And do you get to taste it and stuff? Oh, yeah. Yep. Oh, I want in on that. I mean, and acres of boats and paddle boarding, kayaking, weights. I mean, it's all throughout the whole show. No, no, no. It starts tomorrow. It starts tomorrow. Okay, got it. So all this is at the Del Mar. I mean, they take over the Del Mar Fairgrounds. Fred Hall, this thing has been here for 37 years. The Hall's just an institution in San Diego. They have made this event free for active military.
Oh, wow. Which is so awesome. That's incredible. Don't you just love that? Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, so all active military, free. Kids 15 and under with a paid adult, free. Whoa. An adult ticket's $13. I'm 14, so I can get in for free. Yep. And judging by Woods' chest hair, he'll get in. 100%, for sure. 100%. I'm taking the kids. Yeah, I mean, it's such a great day, and it's pretty inexpensive, and it's so fun. It's so fun. Is it only the kids that get to do the fish thing? No. Hey, Jasper's going to go fishing, but he ain't going to release them. He's taking them home for dinner. Yeah, it's dinner. I think Jake would have a hate. I mean, I think he would really love it. I want to go. Catch and release. And, you know, just the boats and the kayaks. And then they do, like, wakeboarding demos. And it's just really geared towards, you know, the outdoor enthusiasts. But it's fun. It's for the family. Oh, outdoor? Mikey's not going to go. No, but I can eat. I can eat. I can eat. Shoot. That's why I brought up the cooking thing. I know that's your thing. Oh, you said outdoors. Oh, my God. But you'll be indoors for this. I mean, laptopping. How much? How much? For me? $13. I'm in.
I'm in. And I brought some tickets for you guys to give away. All right, cool. All right, let's do this. I want to see Jack Dagger do his deal. His assistant can come sit next to me if she wants. Okay, weird, weird, weird, weird, weird, weird. You're married also. Oh, yeah, I'm married. She's cute. She's a cute girl. You're making an observation, that's all. It's observational, honey. It's just observational. It's observational. Hang on. Everybody, hang on. Let me describe. Jack Dagger right now is on one knee like he's going to propose. I'm going to get hit in the face. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. Now, she's holding out. His assistant is holding out a flower. Okay. And it's like a yellow flower. Oh, wow. Holy cow. Yes. That was rad. No, that's for you, Woods, please. Keep that flower as of a minute. Yep, wear it proudly. He, with that bullwhip, knocked just the tip of the flower off. Just the tip. Just the tip. That's all I need. All right. All right. Just the tip. Just for a second. All right. All right, let's go throw some knives. All right, throw knives. All right, so, and we're videotaping all of this.
Circus. I know. It's fantastic. It's like a rodeo. Hey, how do we know when we can see him? Do we know what time he'll perform and stuff? Because I want my kids to see this. I think he knows. I believe it's... Jack Dagger. 2.30 and 6. 2.30 and 6. 2.30 and 6, Jack Dagger? I believe that's correct. You can turn this mic on. He can talk to you. There you go. 2.30 and 6. Yeah, I think it's 2.30 and 6. Every day of it? Thursday and Friday, and then it changes a little bit on Saturday, Sunday. But they have programs and listings, and you'll be able to find me very easily. FredHall.com. Okay. All right. So, wait, wait. Let me describe. So, first of all, Sexiest Guy Alive is... Woo! Take it off! He was? He's got on a black hat, cowboy hat, blue western shirt with scorpions and pearl snaps. And he's looking at a red board with all of these knife marks in it. And he's about to throw knives at...
the board. He's approximately, I don't know, how far away from it? How far away is he? About seven-ish, eight-ish feet away, roughly. Seven, eight feet away. Fifty-two feet away. Okay, great. Here we go. And his assistant is now standing in front of the board, and we're videotaping this so you can see it online. Oh, wow, he just threw right at her, but it didn't hit her. It went to her side. It's to her right. He's getting closer. He's getting closer. He's getting closer. Holy cow. Oh, my gosh. That was... Give you one on the inside for the end there. Oh, my gosh. That was close to her. That was very close. Who's next? Who's next? Oh, Woods. Please, please, please. Woods. Woods. Will you do it, Woods? You got to be still. I'll do it. I'll do it. Oh, Mikey, do it. You want me to do it? You do it. I'm so scared. I'll do it. Me, do it? He's too big for the board. There's no open space. I'll do it. My wife is going to kill me. Mikey! I'm so scared. Come on, Mikey. Come on, Mikey. I'm too big of a target. You only have three sons. It's cool. I'm way too big of a target. Jack Jagger, be careful. Okay, no. We'll have you stand right. He's got kids. Oh, my gosh. Mikey is lining up in front of the red board right now. Take your hands and either cover the goods or put your hands behind you either way. Seriously? I want you to tuck your elbows in primarily. Look at his face. Mikey looks so scared right now. He has his elbows.
Okay, now what I want you to do, Mikey, is watch my eyes. Don't look at my hands with an eyes, because he might flinch and react to them. Just look at where I'm staring, and that should give you some confidence, because I don't want you to flinch. Mikey has his eyes out as if he's going to hit a volleyball. No flinching. He looks brave. He looks terrified. Don't move. There you go. There you're flinching. A little bit. Look me in the eye. Around you. Not at you. Around you. Near you. Don't move, Mike. You have three children and a wife. Just look at me, Mike. Hi, Mike. It's okay. He's staring at me. There we go. How about that? Mike is so scared. Sweaty. You're a little slutty. Better than a cup of coffee, eh, Mikey? Mike, don't say that was Freaky Friday anymore. Why? Just say that was freaky. That was serious awesome sauce. Just say that was cool. I can see the awesome sauce all over your pants. Thank you. Wow, that was close. Jack Dagger, everybody. Let's hear it from Jack Dagger. That was awesome. That was incredible.
That was incredible. You missed. Can I try? Hey, Jack, you missed. Yeah, Jack. I've been doing that since I was 12. I've been throwing knives my whole life. You're supposed to kill him. That's right. I'd rather be knife-throwing or bull-whipping. I paid you to stab him. Come on. Hey, Jack, can we do it again? Only this time, farther to the right. Yes. He's got a thick heart. Jack, have you ever stabbed someone? Oh, boy. Whoa. Not yet. Have you ever been stabbed? Would you like to? No, actually. Well, no. I haven't been stabbed. You've been cut. What did you practice with? I just practiced throwing knives around my very good friend and mentor. He's a 6'2", former Canadian Royal Mounted. God rest him. God rest him. No, he's quite alive still, strangely. And he's a martial arts instructor, and I can't imagine a more dangerous person to have a mistake with. Mr. Miyagi. Mr. Miyagi, but like over 6 feet on steroids. Did you start with like an inanimate object before you? Practice on a real person? No. Oh, wow. Dive right in. Just dive right in. Oh, my God. We practiced, I mean, from can till can't, as they say. Sometimes 800 to 1,200 knives thrown a day. Do you drink? I have a strict don't drink and throw policy. I do drink, but not after the show. Okay. So you've never thrown a knife while under the influence.
You got a little smile. As I started to ask the question, you got a little smile. Let's differentiate. There's knife throwing on stage around a person. There's knife throwing for fun. There's a large and active competitive circuit. It's called the International Knife Throwers Hall of Fame. And there's competitions all over the country and in Europe. And we're getting stuff going on in Germany. It's amazing. And at these competitions, after the competitions are over, late at night. That's when the fun begins. Oh, wow. You're talking about the I-K-T-H-O-F, right? Yep, that's right. It's big. You got that. It's big, yeah. It's huge. It's huge. Is that how you met your wife? Tell me your assistant's name again. Jenny Lin. Jenny Lin, can you come over to this microphone? I have a question. Okay. How do you get this gig? Is it an ad? Craigslist? Is it a Craigslist ad in the paper? Was it the casual connections on Craigslist? How do you get this good? Did you know someone that? We have a mutual friend. Oh yeah, he said that. Put us together, in a matter of speaking. Are you scared? No.
You're not scared? I'm bored most of the time. Are you serious? Great, thanks. If I get that from my wife enough, I don't have to hurt you. First time that he did that, it didn't scare you real bad? Not really. I don't remember. I think I blacked out. How long have you been doing this? Just over a year. Oh, yeah. About a year and a half, maybe. And you guys travel and do this? Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. It would unnerve me getting knives thrown at me every day. Oh, yeah. Every day. I mean, you trust him. Yeah, I do. Derek Jeter's going to go, he's going to miss, he's going to miss a couple times a year. Derek Jeter messes up every once in a while. I mean, it's a bad day. It's a bad day. You have a bad day. You have a bad day every once in a while. You can't have a bad day. No, he's not allowed. He can't have a bad day. It's in the contract. Yeah. No bad days. Wow. Sienna had a, you got questions, right? Yeah. I want to know about your wife and did you like. Try and impress her by your knife throwing? Is she on board with the knife throwing? Have you thrown a knife at her? She's totally on board. In fact, I used to use her as my assistant, my partner, for quite a while for lots of different performances. But then as soon as we got pregnant, we had to hang out. She got pregnant. She got pregnant. I'm totally in there with her. I might as well have my own woo. Did you push the music out? Easy, Mr. Mom. Yeah. I felt like I did by the time I was all over. All right. Oh, wow. You know, I used the guitar to sway my wife. Did you?
He was out slinging knives at post. Yeah. Real good. Yeah. And I was talking to Rebecca on the internet. Correct. Virtually the same thing. Virtually the same thing. The Fred Hall Show, the ultimate outdoor experience. This and a lot more is going on out there at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. And you can go to FredHall.com. Opens tomorrow. Runs through Sunday. Active military and kids free. And kids under 15. With a paid adult. Kids under 15 with a paid adult. Y'all think I can pass for 15? Yeah, I'm going to hold Maddie, even though she's 21. I'm going to hold her like she's a toddler. Woods, can you come and hold me like I'm a baby? I'll just go limp. Can you put me in a J.B.Yarn? A J.B.Yarn. A J.B.Yarn. A J.B.Yarn. A J.B.Yarn. Love you, Amy. Thanks for coming in. Love you guys. Thank you. Thank you so much. That was so fun. So fun. Coming up next. We're going to be talking to M1 Spider, who just got back from Japan. That's next. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is Bjork Garrett. Album debut. We'll be talking to M1 Spider in just a bit. Just got back from Japan and can give us eyewitness accounts of what it was like to be in that earthquake.
to experience everything that was going on in Japan and tell us about what it was like having to fly out of Japan within hours of all of it happening. And Jay's acting challenge coming up here in just a minute. And Sienna has some news that she's been telling people throughout the morning. Yes, if you haven't heard really sad news this morning, Elizabeth Taylor passed away at the age of 79. She died at the L.A. Cedar Sinai Hospital. Her kids were by her side, and she had been suffering in the hospital for the last six weeks with congestive heart failure. At least her family was by her side. That's always a good thing to hear. Legend. Yeah, so is that. I'm looking at the playlist of the stuff that Woods has coming up here on our musical playlist, and I love it. We're going to do Police, Kings of Pain, King of Pain, Strokes, Switchfoot, Gino. Vanilla. Do you know that song? Oh, of course I do. It's... I just won't stop. Waylon Jennings. I was in a weird mood. Oh, dude. Afra Levine, wish you were here. In. Oh, my gosh. It ain't like the old days, all right? She's matured. She's matured. She is not. She's matured. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that.
She'd rather be skating. 100% in. Well, first, let me give you the official opening. Yeah. He's the old man who does acting. He's the old man with the poetry. Woo! He's so good he's on the money. Yeah! An actor with ability. You said it. He blinded me with acting. But he failed to pronounce clearly. All right, ladies and gentlemen. We discovered a very unique... Talent. Talent? You can call it that. Or lack of talent. Mal talent. I will punch you in the face. You already pantsed me. Well, here's the deal. Every once in a while, Jay will mispronounce a word or two. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. What did you mean to say by that? He meant to say irrelevant.
Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. Heart tea at the end. I had been drinking. No, you had not. We hope not. On the air. And so we thought, how can we exploit that? Yeah. And so we decided, we were talking one day, and Jay said, you realize, I used to be an actor. Hey, I'm a good actor. He's on IMDB. I'm on IMDB. I have a profile. Yeah. With his Mikey show picture as his profile picture. Exploit what you got. I got it for free. Might as well. Hey, Mac, what moves you been in? Debbie. So. Weight loss commercial. Oh, wow. Wow. So mean. So great. So today, Jay's going to give acting a try and he is going to be the Terminator. No bits. Unique New York. Unique New York. That's right. Red leather, yellow leather. Wow. Wow, he's been practicing. Jay? Yes, sir. How many times did you practice this? I have not. Lie. It's not a lie. It's not a lie. Why is my voice so high? How many times did you run through this? I swear I didn't. I went through and highlighted. After you read all your lines. Several times. No.
All right. Well, we'll see. I'm going to play the part of 12-year-old John Connor. Okay. Jay's going to play the part that Arnold Schwarzenegger made famous, The Terminator. And Woods is going to be the narrator. Yes. We're reading directly from the screenplay. And what I'd like you to do, M1s, as you're listening, is just imagine that James Cameron is sitting in a director's chair and trying to cast this movie. And Jay has just walked in and is going to audition for the role of the Terminator. Okay. Nude. Nude. Are you ready, Jay? I am ready. Now, don't take this the wrong way, but you're a Terminator, right? Yes, Cyberdyne, Systems Model 101. John touches Terminator's skin, then blood on his jacket. His mind overloads as the reality of it hits him. No way. Oh, wait. Like who? Oh! You. Yeah, it's okay. Just rise above it. We're just live here. We're live. We're just spitballing. We're spitballing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Holy wow. You're...
You're really real. I mean... Whoa. You're like a machine underneath, right? But like sort of alive outside? I'm a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over metal endoskeleton. What? Actually. Okay, just write them down. Just write them down. Just write them all down. I didn't hear you. I didn't hear you. Can you say that again? I'm a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over metal... Just say it. What are you? What are you? I'm a cybernetic organism living tissue over a metal endoskeleton. You're pausing too much. This is intense. Get a grip, John. Okay, you're not here to kill me. I figured that part out for myself. So what's the deal? My mission is to protect you. Yeah? Who sent you? You did, 30 years from now. You reprogrammed me to protect you here in this time. What? You did? Wait a minute. Can you tell me that again? You did, 30 years from now. You reprogrammed me to be your protector here in this time. That's what I thought you said. John gives him an amazed look. This is deep. Exit to the street at night. John and Terminator on the bike again, weaving through the side streets. They blend into the evening traffic.
In the darkness, Terminator's wounds are not readily visible. John cranes his head up and back. So this other guy, he's a Terminator too, right? Like you. Not like me. A T-1000. Wait, wait, wait. I don't understand. He's a T-1000 or a T-2000? I don't understand, Terminator. I'm going to twist your head off, John. Not like me. A T-1000 advanced prototype. Mimotec Paleo. What? Wait, Terminator. Huh? Not like me, a T-1000 advanced prototype. A memotec polyalloy. Say it. Pardon, I was laughing so hard. I think you mean a memetic polyalloy. Yeah, that's it. What does that mean, though? Liquid metal. Radical.
You are a target for termination. The T-1000 will not stop until it completes its mission. He will stop? It will not stop. You are targeted for termination. Believe me on this one. The T-1000 will not stop until it completes its mission. Ever. John mulls that over. Where are we going? We have to leave the city immediately and avoid the authorities. Can I stop at my house? Negative. The T-1000 will definitely try to reacquire you there. Are you sure? I would. Wow, you made it. Apparently. It's the greatest bit on radio. I love it so much. I do too. I love it so much. I have an idea. Yeah. Uh-oh. Maybe you tell us off the air. Well. Because what if I don't like it? You'll like it. Okay. You'll like it. All right. We bring the script in highlighted for Jay from now on. He does not get to see it or look at it. Do you like it or you don't? Good luck, yeah. Go for it. Great idea. Uh-huh. Perfect idea.
So we won't have a script when it comes to... Oh, yes. I'll do it. Oh, yes. Like I said. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, we will. And we'll say, Jay, you're playing the part of Rose from Titanic. Bam. Okay. On one, there's got to be one stipulation. What? Size 14 font. Okay. His old man eye. I can't see it. I can't read it. Glasses. I can't see it. Glasses is for the weak, Sienna. Glasses are expensive. They cost money, like $4. Hey, listen. I'll take it in a size 14 font, but I also insist on a magnifying glass. And you pay for the paper. That's right. I ain't paying for no paper. I get read and burst from the company. Read and burst. I hate you all. From my paper, so. Mikey, where are you? Where did Mikey go? I spit coffee all in that trash. I get read and burst. Okay. I ain't going to put this on my read and burst papers. I want my expensive report. Okay. All right. I love it. Good job, Jake. All right. Let's see. Jake is so serious. Okay. I got to play this for you. Incredible. First of all.
We all remember this reporter, Serene Branson, okay? She was the lady that was reporting outside the Grammys after the Grammys, and she had this weird thing happen with her speech. Well, a very, very heavy flirtation tonight. We had a very Darrison bite. Let's go to Terrace for the bit. They have the pet. It makes me so uncomfortable. It's worse and worse. Now, there is no doubt. As you listen to that, that that is very authentic. It's very real. And it was a moment. Now, they don't really. Did they ever come up, Sienna? I can't remember with what. Migraine. Migraine. Yeah. OK. Now, I don't mean to be cynical, but this has happened again in Canada. Canadians. And I just I don't mean to be cynical and say that this guy. is stealing that bit so that he can get publicity because that was worldwide news right yes but as i listened to it i couldn't help but go what if he decided that this is the way that he was because it does sound a little phony
Defense Minister McCain-McClyle did confirm today that more than 54-18 fighter jets are spending about as much as 20 and ready to assist the 600 deployed over the announced needed. Now, it did depend on how the NOLAN emerges RN while the university or the UN mission... has whole received support from all batteries in the hues of the gardens of today. Excuse me. I'll hand it back to you. Thank you, Mark McAllister from Japan. Let's go around the room. Not buying it. L-O-B? He stuttered, but that's it. Not buying it. Woods? Fake bet. Thousand percent fake bet. Jay? Buying it. Weird. Sienna? Buying it. We're buying what? That he had some sort of thing out of his control? Yeah, Jay and Sienna believe that that was a real thing and that he was not putting that on. He had a case of the Jays. He got hung up on the teleprompter. Sounds to me like he had a case of the ripoff. You think so? The case of the ripoff. Then you're buying it, Lauren, if you think he didn't do that on purpose. Woods and Mike think he did that on purpose. I think he just had a bad day. I do, too. There you go.
I think he did it on purpose. I think he did it on purpose. It sounded so phony. No, it didn't. Why would you want to sound like an idiot? I'll tell you why. For fame. Oh, be known for messing up words? And then everybody watches ratings. Yeah, but that girl, no one knows where she is now and no one cares. Oh, yes, they do. No, they don't. When she did that, you bet. We're still talking about her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, put it this way, though. She did that. Brought all this interest to her, all this interest to that station. People want to watch that TV station. They're like... We want to see that chick. When she comes back, they want to see if it happens again. Will it happen again? Is it going to happen? Is it going to happen? I mean, there's no doubt it creates like some kind of buzz. It's a buzz. Let's listen to this guy. Defense Minister McCain McLeal did confirm today that more than 54 18 fighter jets are spending about as much as 20 and
Really? It's fake. But he didn't do what she did. Yeah. Kind of. He's trying to do. He's trying to do what she did. I think he got hung up on one word and then couldn't pull it together. Happens to me when I read the news sometimes. Not like that. Maybe. Maybe you mess a word up and then you mess another word up and maybe you even mess another word up. And then maybe if we're really stretching it, you even mess one more word up. But this guy. Defense Minister McCain-McClyle did confirm today that more than 54 18 fighter jets are spending about as much as 20 and ready to assist the 600 deployed over...
The announcement needed. Now, it did depend on how the no land emerges our end while the university or the U.N. mission has whole received support from all batteries in the hues of the gardens of today. Excuse me. I'll hand it back to you. Thank you, Mark McAllister from Japan. Totally believable. Now that I'm listening. flubbed his words. Now that I'm listening again, I'm thinking maybe he was trying to do it. No! I'm serious. Have you seen the Boom Goes the Dynamite video with the kid that does sports? He gets really nervous. That's nervous. That guy's not nervous. Sounds nervous. He's not nervous. He is purposefully... Listen, this made giant news. And this is real. A very, very heavy vertation tonight. We had a very Darrison... But let's go to Terry Zindler for the bit. They had to pick. Now, and I'll tell you this, too. You know the other reason that makes me think he's faking it? Mm-hmm. He thought. Different country. No. Nobody knows about this. This made news in America.
We know about it because we're news people, but like the average Canadian doesn't know. I'm telling you, listening to that woman, I feel sorry for her because something has gone on and she can't control her words. He can control it, but he's really nervous and flubbing the words. He's not having like a problem. 13 times. Now, maybe he should never have been a news reporter. He's terrified. 570-1949. You're either going to say fake or real. 570-1949. Fake or real? Why would someone want to look like an idiot, though? I'll tell you. Because then, I don't think that he looks like an idiot. And what does the news story say? He looks like an idiot that you guys are accusing him of being fake. Oh, yeah, but I don't think anybody else is doing that. I think I'm the only one monstrous to do that. I mean, nobody is saying that. I'm saying it because when I listened to it, I sort of went...
I don't know if I buy this. I guarantee other people are saying it. That's why it's in the news. Again. And see, I think it's in the news because the guy had like something happened to him. No. He was nervous. I guarantee. That's what I think. 570-1949. All you're going to say is fake or real? Love this song. It's a good one. You know what Jamie sings? There's a little black spot on your underwear. Every time we hear it. Every time. I just ruined it for you. I wish I didn't know that. What an angel. Now I know that. Sienna, what's going on in news? A little update in Japan for you. Authorities in Tokyo have said that tap water in the city is not safe for infants to drink because apparently the water is showing a level of radioactive iodine at more than twice the safety level for them. So just awful. However, some good news for the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant. The workers there are trying to stabilize the situation, and they were able to attach power cables at all six reactors and start a pump at one to cool overheating nuclear fuel rods. On a lighter note, Selena Gomez. You guys know who Selena Gomez is? Not a teen thing, teen girl. She's on the Disney Channel. She's dating Justin Bieber. She lied to Ellen DeGeneres. You guys. Really? Really?
She lied about what? She lied. Well, she was on Ellen. It's a Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber lied, too, to Robert Pattinson. Edward Cullen. This is a big deal. You don't lie to Ellen DeGeneres. She was on Ellen's show a year ago, and Ellen asked her about whether or not she and Justin Bieber were together, and she responded in a way that was shocking. Are we really talking about that? We are. Do you care? I kind of know. They're a couple of liars is what they are. I know it sounds. Did she call her out for it? Yeah. Then I'm in. So Selena Gomez. I like people getting called out. Selena Gomez was on. I knew you would. Why do I want to hear this? Well, I like people getting in trouble. I like to see it and hear it. Shame, shame. I know your name. Okay.
So let me just back up and explain. Selena Gomez is dating Justin Bieber. Now you guys all know who Justin Bieber is. Yeah, girl. Now, a year ago, Selena Gomez was on Ellen DeGeneres' show and Ellen asked Selena if she was with Justin. She said no, no way. Her reaction, which you will hear. Now they are obviously. No, I ain't. Yeah, they are obviously together now, Selena and Justin. So Ellen confronted her about it. I do care. I know. This is the audio. All right. Is it? You just have a slow connection. When Mikey's computer figures it out, it will be the audio. Slow connection. One, two. Is your slow? Oh, yeah. What's going on? I don't know. Meanwhile... The hamster on the wheel died. While it's loading, if you haven't heard sad news this morning, Elizabeth Taylor died at the age of 79. She died at Cedars-Sinai Hospital. She's been there for the last six weeks with some heart problems, and her children were by her side. We'll have to wait for them.
Do you guys want some Reese's or anything? Some eggs? Yeah, why don't we just hang out? Do you want some gum? Do you want some Reese's? Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, there's a lot going on in sports, pal. And if you're a San Diego State Aztec fan and want to go see them take on the Yukon Huskies tomorrow night, they are in the Sweet 16, Jack. And they are playing tomorrow night in Anaheim. Bring your dough, my friend. I told you guys earlier, between $289 a ticket. Up to $1,100, almost $1,200 a ticket. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, so, oh, this is interesting. On StubHub, on Monday afternoon, tickets go, this can't be, $439, between $439 and $17,144. No way. I kid you not, it is there in black and white, so you know it's true. That's real. I just looked at it. That's real. Who would pay that? A nut job? Who would pay that? Somebody that's really into the Aztecs. Also, yesterday, Roger Goodell came out and spoke about the NFL draft. Now, this is a touchy situation. The NFL Players Association is talking to guys that are coming out in the first round saying, don't go to the draft, dude. Don't go to the draft. Here's what Goodell says about that. It's a great moment, I can say for me personally, but I think those players and their families. And I hope that that's not denied, and I hope that that's not something that...
The players are put in the predicament of having to make that determination. It's sad. So, Mike, you're the new hot-ass defensive end coming out. You're going to be first guy taken. I've been in the league a few years. I come to you and say, hey, bro, I just want to tell you, yeah, it was at my draft day. It was pretty rad. Don't go to yours. Don't go. It's the biggest day of my life. Don't go, dude. Hey, you're going to be a player, right? You're with us. Yeah. You're not in yet, but you will be. You be with us. And we're over here. You be with us. But my entire family, this is the biggest day of our life. Too bad. Too bad. Are you a player? You want to be a player? Yes. Are you going to be in the NFL? Yes. Then you get over here. We bought plane tickets. You get your money back. Call Travelocity. We have hotel rooms reserved. Yeah, yeah. Travelocity will make that right, too. You're not going to the draft. I know you're going number one, but you ain't going to the draft. I saved money to buy the suit. Like, I bought a suit. Some dude gave me this suit. I know. You're rich. You're already in. It's my moment. You can't have it. Oh, well. You can't have it. I mean, imagine. Those guys got to side with the players because they're going to be players. It's awful. It's gnarly. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is our friend Jared's website, which is amazing. The best. It's amazing. The guy will make you a real fresh business card, website. You want a billboard, he'll make it. Yep. Any logos. Logos, anything.
CreateYourDesignOnline.com. It's amazing. Okay. An M1. If you are an M1, you are into The Mikey Show. You are so into The Mikey Show that you are fanatical about The Mikey Show. You are so into it that you will tattoo Woods' name on your forehead. I would love it. You're so into it that you will... You will spray paint your car with the word cross. You're into it. You're so into it that you will eat an enchilada every day because you know Mikey does. Yeah. Yeah. You're so into it that you will wear cowboy boots and a Western shirt and vest just so you can be just like Woods from Texas.
You'll chew a whole can of Copenhagen a day. Make yourself sick because you want to be like the kid. You will purposefully go and get an African-American wig so that you have a better shot at dating L.O.B. Or at least sleeping with her. You will at least wear cubic zirconias to make it look like... You have diamonds. Yes, like Sienna. Like Sienna. That's exactly right. You'll name your baby Sage. As everyone knows, it's wiener time. Wiener time. Wiener time. Okay. I don't know if Jay really gets it. That's that. And everyone doesn't know when it's wiener time. You're telling me that's not correct. Okay. For a friend Jay. I think they actually do know. That is Jay. Yeah. All right. So we're going to take a quick vote. Then we're going to talk to M1 Spider. We're going to take a vote here on whether or not this dude was faking it. Defense Minister McCain-McLeil did confirm today that more than 54, 18 fighter jets are spending about as much as 20 and ready to assist the 600 deployed over the...
Announced needed. Now, it did depend that how the no land emerges our end while the university or the U.N. mission as whole received support from all batteries in the hues of the gardens of today. Excuse me. I'll hand it back to you. Thank you, Mark McAllister from Japan. It got more and more ridiculous as it went on. Poor guy. Best out of seven. He was nervous. Sienna thinks he was real. Yeah. M1 Judy from El Cajon, fake or real? I just want the word fake or real. Real. M1 Jason from Carlsbad, fake or real? Real. Yeah, dog. M1 Kirk from Carlsbad, fake or real? Oh, wow. M1 Chris from Claremont, fake or real? Real. Oh, wow. That's it. It's four out of seven. Everybody believes that it was real. Fake that. Yeah, why would you make yourself a little crazy person? I just don't understand. Publicity. I'm just going to look like an idiot right now. It isn't that you look like an idiot. It's that people will go, wow, what happened? It was sensational. And then they come back and they're like, I don't know. I had a migraine. I was suffering from blah, blah, blah. I feel sorry for him, too. I give him the benefit of the doubt. But when you say that, it makes me think like, oh, he could. He could. 13 times. I'm telling you, I have some news stories in front of me. And I'm like.
Especially when maybe you don't really know a lot about what you're trying to talk about. It's nerve-wracking. Listen. I think the teleprompter got messed up. Listen. Woods and L.O.B. had never been on-air personalities one day in their life. They came on the air here. They weren't reading. Yeah. Woods had to do some sports. Yeah. You know? If you put a teleprompter in front of me, I'd probably say some ridiculous stuff. Yeah. People are writing in that he could have been sleep-depraved. Yeah. High on cocaine. Or deprived. Or deprived. Yeah, even worse. If you're sleep-depraved, what that means is that you're so into sleep that it makes you a monster. You're just depraved. It's true, though. I mean, sleep, that will do that to you. It will. It will. Yeah. I know. I played back the last hour of the Mikey-thon. That's right. I was about to hang myself. Yeah. Whoa. Let's talk to M1 Spider, who just got back. Actually, how long ago did you get back from Japan? I got back last Sunday. No, no, last Saturday. And you were there visiting your family, your wife's family? Yes, my wife's parents. Okay, and so what city or town do they live in? They live in Saitama, Minami-Urawa, which is just a little bit north-northwest of Tokyo. And how far were you from, like, the, well, I guess the area that we all kind of think of as ground zero right now is where the reactor is. But is that not really where the tsunami was?
Where was the tsunami? I mean, the tsunami hit the reactor's area, but the actual earthquake was a little bit even farther northeast of that out to sea. Okay. Up near the small town. Now, was it the entire eastern coast of Japan that was affected or just a certain area? Most of the eastern coast coming down to Tokyo because it kind of comes back out and so it kind of blocks more of the tsunami. So Tokyo itself wasn't affected by the tsunami. Okay. Okay. But it was affected by the earthquake. It was affected by the earthquake. Absolutely. Which was a 10? Nine. Nine point something. Well, in Tokyo area, it was probably more like a 7.8 something, you know, 8.0, something like that. Crazy earthquake. So what time of day was it? It was 2.46 p.m. when it hit. Roughly. Yeah. Now, where were you? I was at my wife's parents' house on my last day there. Just kind of relaxing, watching TV and stuff like that. Were you sitting with your wife? She was actually just about ready to go to the bank to go do some stuff. So she was downstairs. Were you by yourself? Yeah, I was by myself. Her mom, her grandmother, and her were all downstairs. And I was upstairs by myself just watching TV. Do you speak fluent Japanese? Not at all. You don't speak any Japanese? A few words here and there. So when you say you were watching TV, you're kind of making out every few words? Yeah, basically. Just kind of like, oh, that's pretty.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it a game show by any chance? Yes, it was. Yeah. It was. Everything on TV is a game show there. So the earthquake happened. I just kind of ignored it. Oh, yeah, another earthquake. No big deal. I mean, I lived in Japan for five years when I was in the Navy, and I was so used to earthquakes happening almost on a daily basis. So when it happened, I just kind of ignored it, and then it just would not go away. Wow. So this was not – in the beginning when it started, it appeared to be like – every other earthquake you'd ever experienced there before. Pretty much. Until it kept going and going and going. Now, how long was the earthquake? Of course, everybody's going to say it felt like forever, but I'd say probably about three and a half, four minutes, maybe. Okay, in earthquake time? That's forever. So long. It's forever. Like an earthquake, like a long earthquake to me is 35 seconds. That is a long earthquake. Well, see, the main earthquake didn't even start. until about a minute into it you know like i said it kind of was a little rumbling i'm like okay it's been a long time it's not really not doing anything it's not so you know difficult yet but so i got up walked to go downstairs moment i got to the stairs that's when it hit and it knocked me on my butt it's like an entire song was playing through that earthquake yeah and then the whole thing really happened and it started just really really shaking i was on the ground level and again um when i had called you guys and told you about you know
that day that it happened, the house is there on rollers. So they can kind of roll with it to keep the damage. But like I said, you guys, it doesn't prevent damage in your pants because it really just scares you. Yeah. You know, you're rolling with it like on a surfboard. So it just started rolling and it just kept on going. And my wife was holding onto a TV like, you know, like I don't want the TV to fall over. And I said, screw the TV. Let's get out of here. Yeah. And we got to get out of here. So we walked outside and there was power lines just waving back and forth. And I was like, no. We're going to go back inside. You went back inside. We stayed underneath the doorway, kind of between the inside and outside, and just kind of looked around. Now, it was four of you, though, because it was you, your wife, and her parents. Well, it was, yeah, me and my wife, her mom, and her grandmother. So you guys are all huddled under one? Well, right in that real area. I mean, her grandmother was sitting down on the step, you know, because she couldn't get too close to there. I was in the doorway with my wife, Misa, and then her mom was next to her grandmother. and we were just basically hanging on for dear life, just a complete feeling of helplessness. What do you do? Yeah, you can't do anything. You can't go anywhere. You can't stop it. Not that point where you're like, yeah, this is different than any other earthquake I've experienced. Absolutely. I mean, I knew that this was big, but it really didn't really hit me that it was the biggest one I've ever been in until afterwards. But there really was no afterwards. After the main part stopped, it was a constant 10.
to 12 hours of shaking and i literally mean shaking the whole time yeah just a little bit here and there and then you'd have an aftershock and then just a little bit so the whole day your bottle of water would be just vibrating just a little bit right the whole day and here's the thing i you know being in northern california for the loma prieta quake in 89 the world series quake yeah i was there for that one and the one thing that i remember about it was there were so many aftershocks that you get what you get what i would describe as like phantom quakes in other words it's not shaking but you think it is yeah you'll be like is that one and it's nothing yeah exactly what happened to me when i came back and exactly what happened to my wife on phantom quakes but my wife just came back uh this sunday this past sunday here and i was uh we were at home she was you know cooking some food or doing something and she just stopped and she goes earthquake And I'm, no, I don't think so. And she's like, I think there's an earthquake. I'm like, no, there's no earthquake right now. But for two to three days, you feel like there's an earthquake every time. Probably because there's so much water in our bodies. Probably. It just shakes. And your body just anticipates it or something. In the Navy, we called it sea legs. You're on a boat rocking out to sea. When you come back, you're trying to walk a straight line. You're not going to walk like this because you're used to rocking. Right. So when that quake.
Okay, so after the big quake stops, do you guys go back inside and instantly turn the TV on and start watching the TV? TVs were already on. First thing we did, walk back inside, assess the damage to see what happened. Most of it was just glasses breaking, things falling off, a couple pictures falling off the wall. Really was a lot, not as much damage as I expected. How long did you take doing that? To assess all the damage? Five minutes. Okay, and then to the TV? Yes, the TV, like I said, I picked up the TV that fell off, picked it up. It was already broken into news. They stopped the game show. Right. They went into the news and it was just, you know, the picture. They put a big picture of Japan on the screen as a superimposed image with the outlines of where the tsunami is going to hit within just. Oh, so they were saying. Now, you didn't understand, right? You're saying to your wife, what are they saying? What are they saying? Exactly. But I had an idea. And when they're outlining the coast like that, I'm like, OK, obviously, there's going to be a tsunami. OK, so. Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine? Now, how long did they say till the tsunami hit would hit? Minutes. OK, so when you're watching, they say we expect the tsunami to hit within three minutes, four minutes, something like that. Something like that. I don't think I actually got a full, you know, an actual number from my wife. She just said in minutes. So it could be anything from, you know, a minute to five minutes. But you think about a tsunami. It moves at 500 miles an hour. So and it happened only about.
250 miles off the coast. Oh, yeah. So do the math. Yeah. It's really quick. Half an hour. Half an hour. It's going to hit in half an hour. If it's moving at 500 miles an hour, it's going to cover 250 miles in a half an hour. See, I'm bad at math, so. Me too. Oh, my gosh. So, I mean, it wasn't enough time for people to even assess the damage. And then all of a sudden now it's like, oh, here comes the water. And that's why there was so much devastation. You know what? I'm even shaking right now just thinking about it. But that's why there's so much devastation. And then with the nuclear power plants. And that was really the second tragedy. I mean, the big thing for my wife's family was the nuclear power plants. You know, for that first week, we had no idea what was going on. You know, I came back and. Did you leave the next day after the earthquake? I did. Two days. No, next day. Next day. Next day. I did not know if I was going to make it. What airline or what airport? Narita International. It's the largest one. It's right outside of Tokyo, Narita International. Going there, there's no trains. All the trains had stopped that day. So the next day, there was just one train. It was a local train. So there's usually an express train that takes me from her house to Narita in about 30 minutes. This local train took me four hours. Oh, wow. And it was literally packed to the shoulder.
I mean, you've probably all seen the video of them pushing people into the train in Japan. It was like that the whole time. And so it takes four hours to get to Narita. And then when you get to Narita, it's a madhouse. Madhouse. Mass chaos everywhere. And people, I mean, thousands of people were lined up trying to get through the ticket booth. There was no way to get through. The ticket agents were just saying, we don't have any seats for you. We can't get you on. I mean, the people were delayed from the day before when it happened. I pushed my way to the front and said, I'm getting on that plane. What airline? ANA, Al Nippon Airways. It's a united partner, ANA. When we come back, we're going to hear about what it was like getting onto that plane, what it was like taking off, what it was like getting back to San Diego or Los Angeles, I'm assuming, and just what that experience was like. From somebody that was there firsthand, M1 Spider, we'll do that when we come back. It's Michael Shannon on K-Wave 97 FM with Gina. Okay, sorry, I had to talk that song up. Anyway, yeah, I'll get a 12-inch with salami, pepperoni, sausage, just put everything. Wait, is this Mike? Yeah. You normally get the 18-inch or the six-footer that we have, right? It's funny because he's fat. The six-footer? It's bigger than him. Do you want six 12-inches then? Is that the deal? No.
This time I'm getting just a tall development. Where'd you eat before this? I didn't. I just... Michael. Is it seriously? Yes, you know that. I had a little bit of talk about it. A little bit? Michael? How about it? Okay. Just send it. Okay. Just give me my food. K-Wait 97 FM. And that was Gino Vanelli. And I just want to stop. Eating. But I can't. Think anybody ever made love to that song in the 70s? How about someone does it in 2011? Hypothetically speaking. Oh, boy. That's right. Wow. Sounds good to me. Get some. So M1 Spider's with us. And Spider.
was in Japan when the earthquake and tsunami happened, flew out the next day. Yes. So let's pick up where we left off. You were at the airport. You said it was a madhouse. It was mass chaos. And I'm surprised they were flying out the next day, but they were. They stopped all the flights that day. They stopped all the flights incoming and outgoing, but the next day, then they started allowing departures, but they weren't allowing arrivals. So there's your first mistake. How are you going to have people depart when you got no planes? I mean, where do they appear? Magically? Right. So they had mass chaos at the ticket booth. People trying to get in. People delayed from the day before. Right. Literally begging. I need to get out of here. I don't care where. One guy was saying, I don't care where you send me. Frankfurt, Russia, New York, Los Angeles. I don't care. Get me out of the plane. Get me out of here. Wow. And the agent was like, I'm so sorry. We have no seats. And I'm looking at my ticket going, oh, my God. This guy had a ticket. for the day before, what's going to happen for today? Do I get delayed a day? For a day. Because he was delayed from yesterday? See, I would think, okay, so he was delayed. He didn't miss a flight. He was delayed. Yeah. Well, it was canceled. Yeah, exactly. It was canceled. Because of the earthquake. Exactly. It was canceled. A lot of people were there, supposed to be on the plane, and then all hell broke loose. So I pushed my way to the front of the line. And think about that. If you are the airline,
Who gets precedent? The people that you delayed or the people that have a flight on? I think you've got to stay on schedule with what you've got and then make up the rest of them where you can. Imagine canceling all flights in a day, then having to take all of those people whom you canceled, find other spots for them while everybody is trying to get on. Right now, it's 9.37 a.m. Woods shows up. Her LOB shows up. She's got a flight at 1045. They obviously put me through the body scanner. Yeah, because you're a woman. So she's got a flight at 1045, leaving in an hour. She's here on time, blah, blah, blah. Woods had a flight the day before that got canceled. I've been sleeping in the airport. He's been sleeping in the airport. I've eaten sushi for 24 hours in the Japanese airport. I show up fresh, ready to go, got my iPod in. But you both feel.
that you have a right to your flight. Yeah. LOB's got a flight that leaves at 1045. Hey, sorry, Mother Nature didn't screw me over. Yeah, she's like, hey. And Woods is going, hey, sorry, lady, no offense, but I'm first. I've been here 24 freaking hours. Whose fault is that? Not mine. That's exactly what happened to me. I was in LOB's shoes in that situation. I got to the front of the line. Somebody was like, hey, we've been here for 24 hours. I said, I'm sorry. I've got to get back. Yeah. I guess consider me the lucky one. Dude, that's every man for himself in that situation. At that point, yes, it is. I would have punched you. Why? Him? Oh, I know. Yeah, I would have been like, Ivan, are you deep? 24 hours, I'm there. All he did was show up. I know. Choke slam. Choke slam. If I was him, I would do the same thing he did and get on the plane. That's what's so hard. That sucks. But here's the big part. Once I got through that ticketing agent.
And I got my ticket checked in. I got through security, which security, there was nil. Nobody was there. I get to the terminal. It's empty. The terminal's empty? I mean, a few people here and there. I get on the plane. I have an entire row to myself. What? The lady next to me, an entire row to herself. Half a business class, empty. 15 seats just in my section alone, empty. I'm telling the flight ain't... What are you guys doing? Why are we backing away from the gate? You've got thousands of people up there trying to get out here, and I've got an entire road of myself. Right. I'm not complaining, but I'm saying. I mean, you know, I'm just saying. I'm saying. I got to guess it was because of all the confusion. It was. The computer system. They just literally didn't know what they were doing. Because the thing was is they're like, I'm sorry, sir, but all these seats are reserved. And I'm like, but they're not here. They're not here. If they didn't make it, you know, at least ticket the people, let them get through security and stand by at the gate like they do in America. Can you imagine, by the way, can you imagine that L.O.B. gets on her flight, which she's scheduled for and is supposed to be on, and she's sitting there. Woods didn't get on his flight. Can you imagine if somebody walked up to Woods and goes, hey, pal, that flight that just took off, there's 45 empty seats on it.
Manslaughter. Manslaughter. Manslaughter. He would lose. Oh, my God. You know what? The judge would be like, justified. You're fine. $1,500 fine and two weeks probation. Now, can I ask you, was this a lot of native Japanese people in the airport or a lot of... Foreign people. Mix. Complete mix. Complete mix. Good thing Japanese people have a really polite culture. Yeah. Well, if they were Americans, it would have flipped out. Oh, yeah. There would have been blood. Yeah. There would have been blood. But, I mean, granted, I felt bad for all the people in the terminal, but, hey, I got a road to myself. No, I get it. On a nine-hour flight. You're like, well. So where did you fly to? LAX. LAX. Yeah, I flew into LAX. It's a nine-hour flight. Yeah, just short of, yeah. That's it. Like 845. Well. Going over there, it's like 12 hours because you have to avoid the jet stream. You got to go by Alaska and back down. But coming across, you just ride that jet stream. Yeah. So you're here a lot faster. Oh, wow. So anyway. So crazy. I got back. I was lucky. Fly at night or in the morning? You fly at like 5.45 p.m. Actually, we got delayed. We did get delayed because I got there. Like you're saying, that situation is an hour prior.
There's no way I'm going to make it. Get to the gate and it was delayed by an hour. So I'm like, oh, thank God. Sunlight or nighttime when you just lift it off? Nighttime. Night. Yeah. And then landed at... Were you relieved? Like just... The moment the wheels left the ground, I'm like, I'm out. I'm done. But at the same time, your wife is still there. I have a difficult question. Okay. How did your wife respond when you're like, all right, we'll see you back in the house. It's my wife. I'm not allowed to go to 7-Eleven without my missus. I'm not kidding. She wanted me to go. She wanted you to go? We had already planned. It was the plan. It was the plan. That she was going to stay an extra week. She had more vacation time than I did. Yeah. Going to stay an extra week. Then the earthquake happened. So, obviously, she is going to stay. But, yeah, she wanted me to go. I said, I'll cancel my flight. I'll stay here a couple extra days. Make sure everybody's okay. No, no, no. Let's try to get you on the flight. She might have gotten on her flight, and you might not have gotten out a week later. Yeah, and we called the company and said, can we get one for Sunday instead of Saturday? They said, no, the earliest you're going to get is Thursday. Oh, my. Yeah. Dude, thank you for sharing this. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's incredible stuff. Chances, Sienna lets Todd on that plane.
I would let him. You would? Gosh. I don't see. She doesn't. She knows. I love when I'm home alone and stuff like that. And she knows Todd's not going to be a cheetah like you as soon as you get back. I'm not cheetah. It's not about cheetah. It's not about cheetah. You know what I'm saying? Cheetah. Yeah. Oh, yes. Overwrought teen angst. There's nothing like it, right? Imagine her in a fight. Like with you as her boyfriend yelling. You are ruining it. It's so annoying. You're ruining it. Imagine her. Better to wife, Peter, than you do. Imagine her, you know, she's got a cold and she wants you to come over and, you know, bring me some soup. I got one for you. What? Saturday morning. You have a townhome or a condo downtown. Morning breath, yeah. She sleeps over. You wake up. It's like the windows are open. It's cool in your loft.
Make her breakfast and go for a walk downtown. Now, this is if we were different men, not our lives now. Right. Because we're happily married. Yeah. We're happily married. We're just saying, you know, it's not like our wives don't do the same thing with Brad Pitt. You know, we're talking about Avril Lavigne. And imagine you had a really bad day. It's raining. You come home. And she's like. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to help you. She's like. I'm going to play a little song for you. And she's just on the spot. Writes a little song for you. Cheers you up in her panties. Oh. Her voice shorts. Yeah. Panty time. Panties and a white feeder. She wears boxers. Now I feel completely filthy. Think about it. Now I'm a complete creep. Am I right? Am I right? Right? Sienna is ruining it. Sienna's like, yeah, imagine you walk in the bathroom and she just finished doing something bad. You guys, I envision her at home wearing... The boxers rolled up with a wife beater with a black bra underneath with purple and green hair. All the way in. All the way. Putting on men's deodorant. She buttercups you as you walk in the door.
Sicko. Yes, exactly. She's on the same level as Pink to me. No. They're the same person. Pink drinks beer like this. So does Avril Lavigne. She bites into the can. Oh my gosh, so does Avril. When she first came out, she was trying to be hard, but you could always tell she was too girly. No. Just play When You're Gone. She can burp the ABCs in a second. Oh, so can I. Yeah. Please. She's a much more mature woman now. Yes. She's a woman now. Yeah. She's not a woman. Not a girl. Not yet a woman. Oh, yeah. There's something on there. You got a banner across her face. Thanks a lot, though. That was a good visual. That doesn't even look like her. She's gorgeous. She's a beautiful girl now. Sure. She writes in her liner notes, I just want to thank my boyfriend, Steve, for all his inspiration. Who's Steve? Yeah, who is this Steve guy? She doesn't call me Woods, okay? She calls me Steve. Or Steven. I think she calls you Wood. Maybe she calls you Deer. No, that's what my wife calls you. Yeah, exactly. Maybe she calls you Woody like Mike does. It was a mistake. Easy Buzz Lightyear. Hey, Woody. I got a snake in my boot. Oh, yeah. I like it.
You like that pink stripe going down her hair? Mikey right now is showing a picture of Avril Lavigne in lingerie. She's not in lingerie. That's inappropriate. She's not in lingerie. You're going to get an email from your guys. Okay, I'm going to take a picture of you, that, and I'm going to text it to Rebecca. Oh, you're dead. You're dead. You're dead. Why do you hate Mikey? Bring it back up. No, do not bring it back up. All right. It's her. I can do that. I don't. Listen. Let's see what Rebecca thinks. You're dead. Hang on. With a pop-o-matic bubble. Let's find it. I don't think that that was lingerie, but where is it? Out of all of these pictures, you passed it. Did I? Where is it? Go down. I'm trying to find it. Oh, I can't find it. It's right there. Oh, this one. She can't find it. Here it is. Let's see what Rebecca has to do. I don't believe that that is lingerie. I do. Okay, let's just see. You can text that to Rebecca. We'll see what the missus has to say. You text her to Rebecca. If I get my accountability partner. He's going to write you. You're like, hey, Creed, what are you doing? We need to call him. You going to war on Avril Lavigne in a bra? It's my old program director. Here, come here. Come here, Jay. Oh, absolutely. Come here. Write this number down. And then go call and see if we can get him on the air. You're in trouble, man. Hey, listen, I want him to know. Preemptive strike. Call that number. The mobile? The mobile. Is that how you spell laundry?
Lingery, yep. Lingery. And tell him, see if he'll come on the air. He might be working. He's in Chicago. Chicago? Chicago? Yeah. Ooh. In Chicago. Have a hot dog. Let's party. Let's see what Rebecca has to say about that picture. Well, I don't think she... I don't think that that would... She may have your back. You're getting put on blast, my friend. Hey, listen, if I was looking at naked pictures, that's one thing. You're not looking at naked pictures. I'm giving you a hard time. You're looking at Tommy Bahama pictures. New catalog. What if Avril was the model for Tommy Bahama? You would blow a socket. He would lose his mind. You would have to go to war there. What? That's too much. You'd have to go to the laptop. I don't. Wear a Tommy Bahama shirt. Don't you? I don't. Don't you? Wear is an understatement. You're ensconced in Tommy. So people know, I have got one Tommy Bahama shirt. You're ensconced in it. It's tattooed in your sleeve. You have one model that you've gotten several t-shirts, or I'm sorry, button downs of the same one. How dare you? It's luau wear, is what it is. I bought one Tommy Bahama. You got him?
Timmy. How are you, Mikey? I'm doing good, dude. Now this, I've explained what my accountability partner is. You are my accountability partner so that I don't look anything sideways. X3watch.com if you feel like you got any kind of issue with porn. Now, if you get flagged because I was looking at images of Avril Lavigne. In laundry. It's not lingerie. Let's see what Mike says. It's a bustier. It's a bustier. Tim, the reason this came up was because we were discussing Avril Lavigne. I love you, Mike. And the girls here seem to think that Avril is like punk rock farty. No, I didn't say that. I do. Disgusting. Sienna. Fantastic. The thing is, Timmy. He had a plethora of images on Google Images that he could have chosen, and he clicked on the one of her in the bustier. It's the most revealing. It's not a bustier. And it wasn't about revealing. It was about her being beautiful and grown up now. There's a lot of other ones. We'll find out if the X3 software is going to detect that something is being less than pure.
Whenever I get an email from them, which comes every week or two or whatever. Because of Mikey's activity? No, it comes no matter what. He sees it no matter what. Yeah, and months at a time will go by, and it's either nothing or it'll have something that's really innocuous. It might have been some sort of Amazon search. You're looking to buy some bedroom sheets on Amazon. That is true. How many times does Tommy Bahama come up in his reports? Every day. Every day. Never. Never. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. Don't you? No. I'm sorry. Sometimes it's really innocuous, and other times there's nothing on there. But, Mikey, I don't know if this is where you wanted me to go, but only a couple of times have I ever said, like, hey, man, what are you doing? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You got him on the phone. One time. You said it one time I was looking at something bad. It was once. I told you. It was once. If it was me or Jay, he'd have to quit his job to go full time. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Maybe it was only once. It could have been only once. But bottom line, Mikey's a good boy. And I don't know. You asked me to do that once. It's been like two or three years. Two or three years. Wow. Two or three years. Stronger man than I. Mike is very good. I just give him a hard time because he's so good about it. Let me tell you. I picked. I picked.
Tim to be my accountability. What are you doing? I'm embarrassed for you. Stop it. I've told the story. I've told the story that it was one time that he did have to hit me up. And it was that one time that I was like, I'm never doing that again. I'm never doing that again. I'm never doing that again. I don't recall that story. I have. I said, I've said he had to hit me. I even told you what he said. You don't? Oh, my God. Listen, I picked him on purpose. Tim is my accountability partner on purpose. He used to be my program director. He and Tim, you remember this. He would leave me messages about bad breaks that I would have on the air. Right. On my answering machine. Yeah. Back when people actually used voicemail. Yes. Right. And I remember one in particular where I called you and I was like, dude, I'm not going to make it through the weekend unless I know that we're good, that we're cool. And you were like, yeah, we're fine. I'm just saying. Don't do that again. Ever. Holy cow. He would. I remember that, Mikey. I remember that. And it had nothing to do with a bad break on the air. It was something where you were like.
I remember exactly what it was. A punk. I remember exactly what it was. Oh, wait. That was another time. Remind all of us. That was another time. One time he got me because I freaked out and I punched or kicked the wall and put a hole in the wall. And I was the only one that was allowed to do that. Right. And the other time you lit me up was because I had a person from star 100.7 on the air and I was hitting on her for like 20 minutes. I remember that. Yes, it was Jen. On your competing station? Yeah, and he left me a message and he was like, dude, let me tell you something. I don't know. How you are broadcasting on... And he was right. I mean, it was so self-indulgent. 20 minutes of bad radio. Do you remember, Tim? I do. But you were also drunk at the time. I was. I was. In all fairness to Tim. In fairness to Tim. It was me hitting on a girl. What? L-O-B. The best. Of the... For you. Oh, you mean the... Which one? Oh.
Gosh, it's okay. He's making me feel terrible. It's incredible. And here's something I feel terrible about, Mikey. And I've told you this, and I'm being completely honest. Mikey would go on the air at 7 o'clock. He would come into my office, and there was a couch and a coffee table in there. And he would bring in his, you know, burrito as big as you can. Dinner. It's getting better. And a beer. And a couple times I said to him, I'm like, hey, Mikey, you know, you really think, you know, I'm not worried about you having a beer before you go on the air. If that were me, it would make me sleepy. By the time it got to be 10 o'clock, I'd need a nap. No, no, no, I'm good. And so I kind of looked the other way. Meanwhile, and I say this with complete sincerity, I didn't know that Mikey had a problem or was on his way to having a problem. And I regret allowing you to have a beer with your dinner before you went on the air. Well, it was more than a beer. I was hanging out with my bros that were on the air before me, and it was more than a beer.
It was a few. Those guys are professional drinkers. They were professional drinkers. They were from the South. Professional drinkers. Professional. It's good to hear your voice. Tim, I'll call you soon. Thanks, man. I love you, dude. Love you, man. We'll see you. That's Timmy. He's great. You know Dukes, don't you? I do. He's the greatest. I never worked for him directly. He's a great. He really is. He's a great PD. He really is a great PD. He'd slay me. He would slay me. And I didn't learn. Like, I didn't learn from it. Sound familiar? He'd kill me on the air. That is the worst, though. Like, when your PD calls you. Oh, no, no. He left me voicemails. Okay, because I had one that... is a good friend of mine and still works in this town, but had no problem calling us on the hotline while we were on the air. Oh, you can't do that. To ruin it. I'd be in tears. You can't do that. Yeah, it's not real good for the rest of your show. You guys, are you talking about the same person? No, you don't have to say who. No, I don't want to say who. Yeah. And he really is a lovely man, but he had no problem doing that, and it would ruin the rest of my show. Oh, yeah, you're done. Yeah, you can't.
You can't call during the show. It's been a major spin out. I'll tell you, man. Oh, him too. Oh, yeah. That was even worse. Did you just write it? Yeah. Someone's name, a different PD. Really? Oh. Yeah. Luckily, it never happened to me, but this PD would call. I forgot about him. When you're on the air trying to do a show and then someone right during the middle of it and you have to continue, it's not real fun. AJ. Yes, sir. Are we on the thing where we have to be timing it thing? Yeah, we're on the thing where you still have the March thing going on, right? March Madness. I started getting in tomorrow morning. Oh, again tomorrow? Rebecca, by the way, said, yes, that is laundry. That dog. You're in trouble. Well, you better be lucky. We got a meeting, pal. Maybe she didn't. Let me tell you what. How could you confuse that? Because... Wait, wait, wait. I didn't know. I said, I sent her the picture of Avril. I said, would you say this is lingerie? And I didn't get a response. So then I was really weirded out that she was going to be like, what are you sending me? So then I said, you probably didn't hear us talk about this one on the air. Never mind. Hope to see you soon. And then she said, sorry, on phone, juggling kids, yes, with a bunch of exclamation. So yes to lingerie. Yes to lingerie.
Yes to hoping to see me soon. I don't know. Yes to lingerie. I think so, too. Yes, hoping to see you in lingerie soon. Yeah, whatever. That's not what she meant, Jay. Yeah, please, Jay. You creep. You old creep. I just, you know, work wife, have to tell your real wife. Yes, tattletail. If, Hillary, I had saved the message that Dukes left. No, I deserved it. No, I deserved it. If I had saved it, it would melt paint off the side of a barnyard. And I deserved it. But I got home and it was like blinking. And I knew. I knew. You knew who it was. I knew who it was. You knew what was up. And I hit play. And it was him going. And it was probably three and a half minutes later. Oh, dude. Dead. And it was like, I can't believe. That you've got an FCC license to broadcast. Oh, wow. He was all right. That was bad. It was bad. Anyway, Hillary, what do you got coming up?
We could talk stories. We could do stories. Oh, my goodness. Hey, you better do your job. I'll call you right on the air today. That's right. He is the sweetest. Garrett is the sweetest. He's an awesome boss. He is. Oh, my goodness. Awesome sauce boss. That's right. As Mikey would say. Yes. I grabbed new Foo Fighters and new Strokes and new Radiohead and new Arcade Fire and then some garbage, Jane's Addiction, some Bob Marley to throw in the mix. You can put your garbage can. We have a garbage can in here. That's funny. That's not good. You can put it right there, though. The lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next, and we'll come back tomorrow morning and do this all over again at 6. Mikey Show's out. Late.