The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/24/10
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wednesday March 24, 2010
Pepper’s not down with Pink Berry frozen yogurt. Woodsisms are sweeping the nation! Veep Joe Biden drops an F-bomb with the Pope in the same room, which leads to Foot in Mouth experiences. Mike goes on a luncheon with 94/9 GM Rick and gets ‘bibbed’ by a waitress. Common things you’ve never done: Mikey never roller-skated, Sienna never lived more than one mile from her parents, Lauren never has been to Disneyland. Jay and The kid have done everything. Sienna admits she used to collect “Got Milk” ads. Clowns are scary…nuff said. What is BMC? Listen and find out, because it’s funny as hell! The Incorporator paces like a caged animal while Mikey collects the words and phrases. The call is made to a bridal shop and The Kid works his magic. Jay then gets both the boyfriend and girlfriend M1s who have the Masters tickets and after some hemming and hawing, dude agrees to go to the tournament after all. Mikey’s mic gets dropped and it’s Jay to the rescue once again, but this upsets Hoyle. List of 8 foods that reduce stress is a perfect trigger for Lauren jokes. She says whole milk “tastes like a butter shake”. Woods reads books on the toilet whether filing papers or not, and this brings up the public pooping bathroom etiquette. Lauren employs the “hover” technique. 911 call of the English woman from her car being pushed along by a semi truck is sure to make you laugh. California might legalize weed which Mikey is against because all the hayseeds will come here and turn our town into Woodstock. Lauren scopes the nekkids when running along Black’s beach. Strange dress codes at work stories has Woods tell when he had to tell a girl to keep her “knots” in check and Jay was a pirate at Long john Silver’s. Hoyle digs him some Humble Pie.
Bumper Music
1. REM – “Pop Song 89”
2. The Raconteurs – “Steady As She Goes”
3. Starland Vocal Band – “Afternoon Delight”
4. Pearl Jam – “Blood”
5. P.O.D. – “When Angels and Serpents Dance”
6. Kanye West – “Jesus Walks”
7. Michelle Branch – “Breathe”
8. Talk Show – “Ring Twice”
9. George Jones – “He Stopped Loving Her Today”
10. Alicia Keyes – “Fallin'”
11. Amy Lee & Seether – “Broken”
12. Billy Joel – “Movin’ Out”
13. Beastie Boys – “Sabotage”
14. Damien Rice – “Blowers Daughter”
15. Deftones – “No Ordinary Love”
16. Finger Eleven – “One Thing”
political hot micsChelsea's Lawworkplace embarrassmentMarch Madness bracketroad survivalchildhood collectionsBird Mouse Clownprank callsMasters ticketsbathroom habitsmarijuana legalizationradio
Joe Biden's open-mic profanity at Barack Obama's health-care signing gave Mikey and the crew a chance to mock his chronic lack of a filter, while Chelsea King's parents and Nathan Fletcher proposed tougher controls on violent sexual predators after John Gardner's repeated violations. The show's comedy peaks included Mikey being bibbed at lunch with his boss Rick, Sienna's 'Got Milk?' scrapbook, the Bird-Mouse-Clown classification game, Woodsy's bridal-shop Incorporator prank, and the crew's elaborate bathroom-reading confessions. The hosts also reacted to Rona Williams surviving as a tanker pushed her Renault down a freeway and to an autistic teenager's nearly impossible NCAA bracket. In the sharpest arguments, Cassidy persuaded John to keep the Masters tickets she had given him for the memory rather than sell them for profit, while the crew remained divided over whether legal marijuana would help California or turn it into a destination for disruptive pot tourism.
What happened, in order
Biden's hot-mic moment
Joe Biden called Barack Obama's health-care signing a 'big effing deal' into an open microphone, prompting the hosts to compare him to an uncle who cannot be trusted to stay quiet.
Chelsea's Law
Chelsea King's parents and Assemblyman Nathan Fletcher announced a proposed one-strike law for violent sexual predators after the failures that left John Gardner free.
The boss-lunch bib
Mikey tried to look professional over lunch with general manager Rick, only to have a waitress tie on a seafood bib and roast him when he removed it.
The perfect bracket
The crew marveled at an autistic Chicago teenager who had correctly predicted every NCAA tournament game so far, including several major upsets.
Car pinned to a tanker
A tanker driver unknowingly pushed Rona Williams's small Renault down an English freeway at roughly 60 miles per hour, and both she and the car escaped with little damage.
Got Milk collection
Sienna admitted she had collected more than 100 celebrity 'Got Milk?' advertisements, with Jonathan Taylor Thomas as the prized piece in her scrapbook.
Bird, Mouse, or Clown
The hosts tested a theory that every woman resembles a bird, mouse, or clown and unanimously classified Sienna as a clown, Lauren as a bird, and Rachel McAdams as a mouse.
The bridal-shop Incorporator
In the Incorporator prank, Woodsy called a bridal shop and smoothly worked in absurd listener-supplied phrases including hysterectomy, fishnet pantyhose, hammerhead shark, and Woody Woodpecker.
Sell the Masters tickets?
Cassidy and the hosts argued John out of selling her $200 Masters gift for $2,000, convincing the golf fanatic that their shared experience mattered more than a deposit slip.
Bathroom reading rituals
Mikey explained that his wife found toothpaste by the toilet because he will read anything while in the bathroom, launching confessions about hidden magazines, laptops, and long toilet-reading sessions.
California marijuana debate
The crew split over legalizing marijuana, with Mikey predicting pot tourism and public disorder while others argued legalization could reduce crime and raise money for California.
People mentioned
MikeySteve WoodsLauren 'Pepper' O'BrienSiennaJay IsbellBarack ObamaJoe BidenChelsea KingNathan FletcherJohn GardnerRickRona WilliamsJonathan Taylor ThomasRachel McAdams
39,910 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
ET San Diego, a Lincoln financial media station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. What's wrong with Pepper? I don't know. What's up with her? I don't know. I had my headphones on. What's your bit? Did you miss that, Sienna? I didn't hear anything. What is your bit? I don't want to get a pink berry. She doesn't want to eat a pink berry with us. So don't eat. It's frozen yogurt. It's yogurt. It's good for you. It's good for you. We'll have them throw, like, you know, grass clippings or something. You can put like... Oh, she's eating it. It's healthy. She's eating it. You can't make me eat it. I can too. You've talked about frozen yogurt before. You like it. I don't know anything about this pink berry. It's delicious. Just know that. It's powdered. It's not powdered. Are you insane? What is happening? I don't know. She's insane. Powdered yogurt. Yeah, what they do is they take a little glass and they put the powder and they mix it up and stick it in the freezer. It's made out of cocaine. It's always like the greatest thing ever. I don't know. You're going to love it.
Let me introduce everybody. Oh, we got such a good show. I'm confused right now. Here we go. Welcome to Wednesday. It's Wednesday. Let's get this sucker started, man. We got so much stuff. How are we going to work through this? All this material. Plow through it. I know. 570-1949. I'm picking the music today and some of it's embarrassing. You know what I did? I went through yesterday and I was like, I don't. Care. Good. I got mine done for tomorrow. Same thing. Really? Care less. Yeah. So you're going to get slayed for some of it? Uh-huh. Me too. You're going to, I will probably at some point today, I will hear. Really? Yeah, you will. You just saying slayed right now, Mike, reminded me, and I thought of you, and I almost texted you Woods, but I didn't want to wake you up. I was watching American Idol last night. Randy Jackson used the expression slayed. He did. Never has he before. Never has he before. Never has he before. See? I'm telling you. Mikey Show's having... We're taking off. That's right. What did Wood say the other day? I'm sweeping the nation. Yeah, I'm sweeping the nation. That's right. That's right. Five people on the Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. And I'm 39 years old. And, you know, Hispanic origin. So if you wanted to know that. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you. And Woodsy, he's a white guy. Hola, pal. Right? Hola. And Woodsy is...
35 years of age. Four. 34 years of age. I think I said 35 because I think you may have said that yourself the other day. No. Well, I did. It was like a joke. I was rounding up. It was a bit. It was a bit. It was a bit. He loves to say that. It's my bit. It's just a bit, you know. He's like, you look fat in those pants. I'm like, dude. It's my bit. It's a bit. It's my bit. Like I would ever say that I know better. This whole time I was like. Never when I say that. What's the matter with you people? I was joking. Don't you know a joke when you hear one? Shut up. Pepper O'Brien is... Oh, Pepper. She's the blonde sitting over here to the right. Also known as Lauren. Not really. Not anymore. People are saying Pepper. How funny was Pepper and the kid yesterday? We got a new sitcom coming. Pepper and the Kid. I can hear the theme music. Love it. Sienna is our news girl. She is 24 years of age. She has got her whole family lives here pretty much. Everyone. Everybody's here. That's awesome.
I've never had that. It also sucks when you tell the embarrassing stories on the air and your grandma hears. That's fun. That's part of it. That's part of the deal. Your grandmother doesn't like to hear about your boobs on the air? She loves. It doesn't run in our family. It gallops. She knows. That's right. She knows. J.U.'s Bell's our producer. He's 46, separated by glass. Can't see him. He's off to my right. If I were looking directly at 12 o'clock, this guy's at 5 o'clock. I know. Can't see him. He gives you the finger a lot behind your beard. I bet he does. I do. I bet he does. Right now. Holds up the bunny ears. Yep. Well, we're going to move into a new studio, but it's not going to be for a few months. And when we do, I'll be able to see him. It'd be awesome. It's not going to be for a few months because they have to build it. They're building it out of cards, which is really weird, like playing cards. So who knows how long it's going to take. I hope it doesn't collapse. You had some weird demands. Yeah. It was time to build that studio. Yeah, so they need to be made of playing cards and dominoes. And my desk area is made out of Twizzlers. How about that? Yum. It's going to be awesome. Your desk is going to be gone by day one. Absolutely. Because you'll chew through it. Yep. Yesterday, you can call, by the way, 570-1949. Yesterday.
Obama was like, here's the health care bill got signed. Everybody clap. And that happened yesterday. And Joe Biden, his vice president, who's very well known for saying stupid things, he gets up and introduces Mr. President. And then as he's giving the president the guy pat, the guy hug slash pat, He drops the F-bomb to him, telling him how this is a big effing deal. And, like, dude, Pope's in the room. Pope's in the room. You know what I mean? How many times has Biden done this? Oh, my gosh. It's his boy. That's his boy. Dude. Was it like, I'm so proud of you, dude. This is such a big effing deal. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. And, like, Joe, Joe, don't you realize?
The microphones are open everywhere. What's the matter with you, Joe? Cameras all around. So great. Here we go. Take a listen. Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States of America, Barack Obama. And you got to see Obama's face because Obama makes a face like he does. Well, yeah, I think he does because he's like, you know what? If this makes headlines, you dope. Of course it does. And how many times do you think that Obama has had a conversation with him where he goes, well, we're in public. It's like he's talking to his dumb uncle. That's exactly what I was going to say. It's like you're talking to your dumb uncle. Come on, man. You're all going to dinner. You're piling into the car and you're going to Olive Garden. And you're like, when we get there, Uncle John, just shut up. Not a word. Just don't say a word. John's like, I won't. Why do I get that talk a lot from people? Yeah, we know. We know why.
Why do you think? Because the kid says stuff. Kid has no filter. Kid has no filter. Joe, shh, don't do that. That is classic, though. It's a big effing deal. It's such a guy, like, it's such a guy move, you know what I mean? Like, I'm so proud of you, dude. This is so great. What a big effing deal this is. Yeah, why can I see you doing that exact thing? Oh, I do it in a heartbeat. In a heartbeat. Yeah, it's okay, though, because you're a sports guy. Right, I'm not the vice president. Yeah. Like, I want the vice president to not drop F-bombs. If I was. Oh, boy. If I was, I still would. You know those backroom meetings are nasty. You know they are. At least he was being positive, though. At least he wasn't like, don't you effing screw this up. You effing idiot. Right. That would be bad. Well, it's all bad. I think it's bad because. I think it's funny. Yeah. I get a little chuckle. Well, he's, you know, he's turning himself into Dan Quayle very quickly. Exactly. We got some of that coming up later, too, because we're going to be talking about that foot and mouth stuff. I love it. It's a disease. It is a disease. When you put your foot in your mouth. I do it a lot. I do it, too. I did it just the other day in front of all of you. You did? It was the greatest thing I've ever. It involved onions. Remember? You don't remember? What did you say? We were walking down the hall. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It was great. Save it. Save it. I laughed for like 20 minutes. Yeah, let's save it. I was dying. Let's save it.
We just got done talking about it today. I know. We burst out laughing. I know. I turned around and your face, Mikey, like, oh, covered your face. Mikey pushed me into the office like we were running. Get the office. Get the office. It's so awesome. 570-1949 is our number. And you can also text message us, 949mikey at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you on text as well. La, la, la. What is Obama doing signing the bill when it hasn't even passed through all the normal steps in creating legislation? That is M1 John. You want to text us? 949mikey at gmail.com. The other big deal today, on the cover of the UT, San Diego Union Tribune today, is the story of Chelsea's parents, Chelsea King. And there's going to be something called Chelsea's law. Yep. What is it? Chelsea's law is basically they're saying it's going to focus on a one strike provision for violent sexual predators, parole reform and better GPS tracking. So they're regulating on the sexual offenders because, you know, John Gardner had, you know, seven different instances and he still was just living at home doing his thing. And so they're like, OK.
This happened to our daughter, Chelsea. This cannot happen to anyone else's daughter. So yesterday morning, Assemblyman Nathan Fletcher and both of Chelsea's parents had a news conference in Mira Mesa. And they said that they're going to be introducing this new law in early April. So just about a week away. Yeah. Oh, that makes me feel good because it means that something tragic happened, but something good will come out of it. Yeah. And I like that. Something needs to be done with that. I mean, oh. Mm hmm. Every time I just think. Seven violations of his parole. Yeah. It's insane. Well, and like you said, he was just sitting at home and he actually wasn't even registered to where he was sitting. It's shocking. Now that we have this GPS technology, instead of just like trying to find. Where you are with your cell phone. And in December, he assaulted that one girl who got away. And then police had a sketch of his face. And he was already a registered sex offender. And no one did anything about it. It's awful. I mean, it's like, what? And then it happened again in the same exact spot two months later. Yep. Terrifying. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. Went to lunch with the big boss yesterday. Did you? Yeah. Big time and everybody. Yeah, well.
Rick is our general manager. Coolest guy. Really cool guy. Super cool. And it was sort of a state of the union. I hadn't talked to him since he hired me. Really? No. And so we went to London. I hadn't really sat down and talked to him. I mean, I talked to him like, hi, how are you? And we went to Joe's Crab Shack. Delicious. Of course. Did you walk there? Didn't. You had to drive. I had to drive. Because he walks to work. He walks. He's that rad. Yeah, he walks and it takes him 15 minutes. I said to him when he told me that, I go, what about when it rains? He goes, I got two umbrellas. I go, you walk like that in the rain? I said, yeah. I go, wow, man, you're really like a dude. How'd it go? Do I need to get my resume together? Check this out. So we go to lunch and we sit down. And when you're having lunch with your boss, it's pretty serious. You know, you're going to talk some serious business, right? You're going to talk State of the Union. How's everything going? What's going on? So I'm, you know, I got my both hands up on the table, you know. Looking professional. Looking professional. I even kind of dressed, you know, appropriately. Oh, that's why you were wearing the button-up yesterday. Button-up shirt, you know. And so I'm meeting with my boss. Be professional here. So I'm sitting there. And just then the waitress walks over and ties a bib around my neck. No way.
She bring you a binky? No way. Yeah. Because of what you ordered? Yeah. She tied it around you? Yes. How invasive. That's what they do. I'm looking at him wearing a bib. You know he laughed. He didn't laugh. He loved it. He's a cool guy. I know he is, but I was wearing a bib. I wouldn't be okay with someone even tying it on me. No? Someone comes near my throat. They get a karate chop? They're getting a karate chop. I'd be like, thank you. God, I'm so glad you did that. So I'm looking at him. Man, when we're done, you can burp me. Yeah, seriously. Mama. Mama. Are you a booster? She should have brought you one of those, too. Do you have a phone book I can sit on? I thought he was going to say, can we get some crayons so he can draw on them? Wow. On the placemat. How embarrassing. You think? Yeah. So I took it off. Did you order a milk? No, you didn't. I did. You ought to just have a good laugh about it. Didn't. Keep it on. A couple of girls would have a good laugh about it. A couple of guys. Yeah, I know. We got rocks. We want to act like we're guys. He didn't have a bib? I'm not wearing a bib. What? He didn't have a bib? No. Because that would have evened the playing field. He ordered chicken. He didn't need a bib. I ordered, you know, bib food.
Lobster. King crab legs. No, I got like this. It was called the original steamer pot. I really want lobster. Instantly made me laugh. No. Scrimp. Something really fishy. Dip it in butter. That's great. Oh, yum. And so I took it off. And she was standing there when I took it off. And she goes, really? She really did. She goes, really? She goes, you want me to put it back on, turn it around, draw an S on the back of it, superhero? She did not. She did. I love her. She did. I love her. And he laughed. And he goes, we're going to sign you up for the sales department. Unbelievable. Wow. Did you get her? Humiliated. Instantly, I looked like a beat. Yeah, I'm sure. I looked like a beat. Clowned out, dude. I clowned. You clowned out.
Big red nose with big red floppy shoes. A little advice for you from a man that's had several lunches with big bosses. Maybe you don't order a steamer pot. Maybe you get a chicken breast and rice. No. Rock the bib. Make a joke about it. Be like, I guess this is how this meeting is going to go. Nope. No way. No steamer pots. It's like getting spaghetti on a first date. You're in radio. Like, they got to know. That's how you are. You know what he ordered? Probably a grilled chicken breast. Grilled chicken breast. Rice pilaf. Steamed vegetables. Steamed vegetables and a water. Can I tell you exactly what he ordered? He ordered a chicken breast with rice pilaf, grilled vegetables, and a water. Yep. I'm not kidding. Yep. You know why? Because he's a professional, Sienna. Exactly. You know a clown face over here? What? You know a clown face? You know what? Your favorite Shriner pouring out of a little. Little smart car? Yeah. Know what I ordered? I ordered a steamer pot. Stop! Unbelievable. This doesn't, like, I see no wrong in what you did. I think it's fine. Clowned out. Clowned. Keep in mind, when I went to sign all my paperwork to work at the station, I went and met him and his family at a restaurant and signed everything, my contract, at the bar. I know. He was having a good old time with his fam. He's cool. Yeah. Yeah, he's so cool that he...
He just stared at me with my little bib on. No, he didn't. No. That was right before he put me in my baby Bjorn and carried me around. So I'd stop crying. I won't stop until he carries me around. He bounces me. I won't stop. That's so funny. Hey, speaking of restaurants and menus, part of this health care deal, Sienna, is that they're going to start. Changing menus? Yes, on the big chain restaurants that have at least 20 outlets, amounting to more than 200,000 restaurants in the nation. So you know, places like Denny's, you know, where else has a lot. I wonder if... CPK. What about like Olive Garden and stuff like that? Olive Garden, Soup Plantation, stuff like that. They're going to now, by law, have to put how many calories are on every single item. Woodsy? Yes, sir. Will it stop you? No. Lauren? You wouldn't eat there anyway. Some of the places already do it. I think it's great. Yeah. You want to know how many calories in those acorns that you're eating. Because you know why? Because knowledge is power. Knowledge is power. Knowledge is creepy too. It is. Knowledge is guiltifying. Truth hurts. I know it. Especially when you're me. Ignorance is bliss. Thank you.
I do not want to know. You don't? I walked into, we went to Fashion Valley, you know, a little while ago. Walked into the Italian restaurant in the food court. They said how many calories were in everything. I had my heart set on something until I saw the calories. And I walked out and I was mad. Sienna, your heart will thank you. No, it won't. Just so you know. My heart wanted the fettuccine Alfredo. Well. Write that down. Yeah. I'll tell you this. Get as much of the fettuccine Alfredo as you can now. You know why? Because you won't know. No. Why? Because I believe that menus will change. Do you know why? Why? Because people see how many calories and they'll probably stop ordering. And then the restaurant will go, well, it's not selling well. I hate this. So you might as well take it off because it's just not selling well. You're going to have to do a special order where you're like, will you please whip up some Alfredo for me? Or like a steamer pot. Look, we know what's bad for us. Which is why we make those special trips to get those things. We don't need that to be ruined. Mikey, I call it my cheat day. I give myself six cheat days a week. I can eat whatever I want. You need to have at least six cheat days. Six a week. You know why? Because you work hard that day, bro. I do, dude. I do. And then one day I'll have grilled chicken breast and rice.
And you work hard that day. I work hard that day. And so the rest of those six, you just kind of have to cut loose. It seems to be working out for you. Yeah, it does. What'd you bring for breakfast, Pepper? I have some blueberries and raw almonds. Oh, barf. Of course you do. Some Clif bars. Of course you do. You know that. You know that. You know that. Some Clif bars. Yeah, and those pretzel slims. Those are my cheat days. It's a pretzel. Can you imagine? A skinny, flattened pretzel. A skinny, flattened pretzel is your cheat. No. You're a bad girl. I mean, fettuccine alfredo and chicken parmesan, that was my go-to when my birthday would come around my mouth. What's your favorite meal? And that was my go-to. It's a birthday dish. Yeah. I'll do it. Once a year. Once a year. M1's a Mikey Show listener. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. It means you're part of M1 Nation. M1 Paparazzi is on the line. Good morning. Hi. Good morning. I have to ask, after you got embarrassed, It's probably your boss. How much did you give the waitress for a tip? I told him I insisted. I insisted that I was going to buy lunch and he wouldn't let me. No way. No way. No way. So he did it. The boss man always has to buy. Yeah. Boss man did. And so I don't know. I don't know what he left for a tip, but he's a generous man. It was a good one. Good man. Yeah, he's a good dude. I knew his boss liked that. Yeah? Yeah. If you're listening right now, Rick. We love you.
We do. I'm serious. When I got married, the next Monday, he came in and he's like, so tell me all about the wedding. I want the details. Tell me about your mom. What about the dress? I mean, what was your favorite moment? I'm like, how cool are you? He's a good, good dude. Eric, if you're listening right now, I apologize for the steamer pot. Yes, you should. I just want you to know, bro, always and forever, you know what I mean? He does this thing where he doesn't flat out ask me to do voices. He just tells me over and over again how much he enjoys them. You know? So you're at lunch doing tattooing. And so he doesn't say. He just says, oh, you know, hint and hint. I think he'll like say it. How? He'll go, man, I just wish I could do voices so much. You know, if I could do voices, that's all I would do all day. And I'll go, oh. And then I'll crack some crab leg.
And I give him a smile and a nod. I'm like, that's nice. He goes, man, yeah. His voices are great. I just, it's so funny when you do those voices, you know. I give him a wink. That's right. And finally the third one and I go, all right, dude, what? Right? You had Frankie today? He's just dying. He's dying. Yeah, dude. And I'm loud. Loud. Hey, dude. Hey, what? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying over here, Rick? Hey, I'm coming over the other side of the booth right now. It's like a kid, man. That probably happens to you a lot, though, with all kinds of people. You know, I guess. I never do it, though. O'Brien's the same way. What's up? She does voices that I love. Can I tell a quick story? I almost.
called her the other day. I almost called her the other day because me and Rebecca were driving and I wanted to hear a voice really bad, but I knew I wasn't getting... You can't... You can hint 20 hours and she'll let you hint. She very rarely will give you what you want. I get embarrassed. I know it. I know it, but I just want it. It's hard to get her to do it. Give me a yell. There you go. You see what I'm saying? R.E.M. Pop Song 89. Here's the deal. There's a new rule in overtime, postseason rule for overtime in the NFL. And it says that you can't win on a field goal. Woodsy's going to explain. Wood's on sports. And then I want to talk to you about something else, too, that has to do with just very common things that you've never done. So you can call me about those. Just real common stuff. You've just never done it.
570-1949 or 949mikey at gmail.com. Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. With KB Home, there's something great about eight, as in the $8,000 tax credit for first-time homebuyers. Buy a quick move in KB Home during the KB Home Great Eightest Sales Event, and you may qualify for the $8,000 federal tax credit. With the April 30th deadline fast approaching, there's no time to wait. It's your last chance to take advantage of this valuable opportunity to own a new home. So visit a KB Home community near you. Stop renting. Start owning. Come out today and find a quick move in KB Home you'll love. Packed with amazing features at great low prices that make it affordable to own. The KB Home Great Aest Sales Event. There's no time to wait, so KB Home will be open late.
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Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Preparation H Maximum Strength Cream. Preparation H Maximum Strength Cream for burning, itching, plus pain relief on contact. It's the most complete relief from Preparation H. 5 northbound after Old Town Avenue, we had an earlier Stelda SUV that's cleared. Looking at Otay Mesa border crossings, six lanes open with a 30-minute delay. Traffic also brought to you by Sears Auto Centers. Visit the Sears Automotive Center for the best price on all your car needs. Bring in any competitor's offer and Sears will match it guaranteed. Visit SearsAuto.com for more great information. It offers Sears life well spent. I'm Alina O'Brien, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can't do anything. I can't do anything handy at all. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Get Lauren. I will take like a half an hour to get out of bed and be like, no. Deanna. And Jay. Of course, I have an outrageous story on FM 94.9. right into this. I want to hear this new rule. I want to know what's up. Let's do it, brother. Big rule change in the NFL and it's playoffs only. Here's how it works, Mike. If a team wins the overtime coin toss, okay, then they kick a field goal. Old rules work, game's over. That team wins, right? They call that sudden death.
If they kick a field goal, the other team gets the ball and gets a chance. Right. If that team kicks a field goal, then you go to sudden death. Wow. Okay? If that team scores a touchdown, they win. Yeah. It's pretty good. Yeah, I think. It still shouldn't be the sudden death, though. It still shouldn't be the sudden death, I think. It's all up to the coin toss. I know. I agree the same way. But here is Atlanta Falcons president, Rich McKay, talking about the need for there to be a change. Cut one. We've had this discussion for a number of years. We felt like this year's proposal, which we call modified sudden death, was really an opportunity to make what we think is a pretty good rule, sudden death, even better. We felt like statistically it needed to be changed. It wasn't producing the, quote, fairest result, if you will, based on the effect of field goal accuracy, field goal distance, and the drive start. Yeah, and team owners, it was... Like massively approved. It was 28-4. Do you want to know what teams opposed it? Yeah. Minnesota, Buffalo, Cincy, and Baltimore. Why? No idea. Absolutely no idea why you would oppose it. Do they have like good kickers or something? I don't know. I don't know why you would oppose it. That's a... Well, here's the deal. Do you guys remember the playoffs? I would have never thought of that. Minnesota lost in sudden death last year. Yeah.
They lost in sudden death to the Saints who won the Super Bowl. And they opposed it. Yeah, they don't want to be hurt by kickers. They don't want to. Yeah, I get it. I kind of don't. But we continue to talk about Big Ben Roethlisberger every day, though nothing's really changed. He's not talking. And now the investigators have withdrawn their request for a DNA sample from Big Ben. What does that tell you? What should we conclude from that? That there's nothing going on, right? Because it could be nothing. It could be all smoke and no fire. He still has not been charged. He hasn't been charged for sexually assaulting the 20-year-old woman at the nightclub in Milledgeville, Georgia. The guy gets himself in bad situations. But also, you have to just keep in mind how money-hungry people are. Think about the people who are pressing charges. And fame-hungry, too. Well, maybe there was no DNA found on... Or around her. DNA tests are expensive. Could be it. You know, just like you said, though, he keeps putting himself in these bad situations. Did you guys hear about the CEO of the New Jersey Nets? No. This is classic, classic, classic. There's a fan, and he's sitting watching a Nets game, and he's the paper bag over the head guy.
Because the Nets are the worst team in the NBA. What does that mean? He's wearing a paper bag. Literally. He has eyes cut out and a mouth, and he's watching the Nets game. The CEO is looking at him the whole game. He's looking at him. He's like, all right, I'm done with this. Walks up to the guy and confronts him. And he's like, why are you wearing a bag over your head? And the guy goes, oh, literally, sarcastically, because the Nets are so good. And so they have words. And essentially, the CEO was in his face kind of pointing at him. The guy pulls his tickets out like, hey, dude, I'm a season ticket holder. Get. Right. And the CEO walked away. I think that's kind of a clown move by the CEO. I mean, dude, your team is terrible. They're actually nearing the record for the fewest wins in an NBA season right now. I thought that Jay-Z was going to buy that team and call the Brooklyn Nets. They need it. They need it bad. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. do the paper bag bit, but he has every right to do the paper bag bit. And he's still at the game, and he's there, and he's just watching, and he's apparently a season ticket holder, so pretty funny stuff. What an uncomfortable way to watch a game. I know. I would be like, yeah, I'm making a point, but I can't see very good. What if you had to sneeze? What if he sneezed and said, the bag? Get all over?
Well, in the NFL, there's trouble brewing in Miami these days. I wasn't really aware until the most recent arrest. Ronnie Brown, who's their premier running back, was arrested for a DUI last weekend. He was in Atlanta for his parents' anniversary, went to a club, had a few drinks, got arrested. That's the third dolphin arrested since February. Cornerback. Those things, those porpoises get out of control, dude. They are wild. It's down there in South Beach, dude. I mean, what do you expect? How many times you've been in a bar and you have to cut off a dolphin and you're like, dude, just knock it off, man. I got my kid here at the bar. You know, I just want to have a good time. And you, I know. Knock it off. Bartender. This dolphin is. He's really being disruptive, man. He's way over served. Did you guys hear that? It was a racial slur from the Dolphins. He's drunk. Get him out of here. So Ronnie Brown arrested. Cornerback Will Allen was charged with driving under the influence in South Beach. Weird. And defensive tackle Tony McDaniel accused of domestic violence. So their coach is Tony Sperano. That's Italiano. Very mad. Not happy at all.
And this is one of the coolest stories I have ever heard, you guys. There's an autistic teen in Chicago. He's done something that's almost impossible. What'd he do? He has picked every game in the tournament correctly so far. His bracket is 100% accurate right now. He predicted Northern Iowa would beat Kansas, Ohio to knock off Georgetown, Cornell to knock off Wisconsin. The odds of this happening is one in 13,460,000. Did he use some sort of algorithm? He said he studied. The entire season. And then he goes, I'm really good at math. Just exactly what he said. Crazy. And you know what? The bad thing is there's a lot of like Yahoo and there's all these sites that will pay you for a perfect bracket or whatever, a million bucks, this and that. The one he entered his bracket into, CBS, they don't pay anything. Oh, no. Really? I bet someone steps up to the plate. Yeah. If he gets them all right. Dude. The odds of that are in the trillions, by the way. Wow. The odds of getting a bracket entirely correct is in the trillions. What is 12 zeros? Trillion. Nine is billion. Twelve is trillion. So it's one in one trillion. It's a lot. It's a lot. And there are really that many upsets every single year. And so if you want to know who he has winning the whole thing, Purdue, which probably isn't going to happen, but it's his brother's alma mater. And that's who he really wants to win. He may have ignored all mathematical.
Mathematical logic. Yeah. That's really cool. And that is Woods on Sports. Common things that you've never done. 5701-949 or 949mikey at gmail.com. Now, would roller skating qualify? You've never roller skated? Of course not. Are you kidding me? When you were like a young kid? No. Mikey! Have you roller bladed? He's like, of course not. Roll into his eyes. Rollerblading down PB. In a thong down the boardwalk in PB. There's people that do it. Just the other day, Woods came in and was like, oh, my dad wants us all to go to Texas to our lake house. There's a bunch of jet skis, whatever. And I'm like, I'm in. I've never been on a jet ski. That's shocking. Never been on one. That's a good example of a common thing that you've never done. I've never seen Austin Powers.
That's shocking, too. What? When our boss is Dr. Evil? I know. I know all the references. I get it. I've seen all the clips, but I've never watched the movie. And I'll even be like, honestly, who throws a shoe? And I don't even know what that means. I don't even think that it's... I don't think you're missing much. We could do a whole segment, by the way, on movies that people have never seen. Like Mikey never seen Wall Street? Nope. I never had a mango up until this last year. You've never eaten a mango? No, they just look weird. And did you enjoy it, Sienna? I love mangoes. They have to be perfectly ripe, though. What have you not done? I've done it all, pal. You know that. Some people who've never left the state of California. Never been on a plane. My wife has never lived more than 20 minutes from San Marcos. That is crazy. I've never lived more than one mile from my parents. Wow. Is that sad? No, it's cool. Wow. I lived, yeah, like four blocks from them. I lived like seven blocks from them, and now I live two blocks from them. That's shocking. I know. That doesn't happen. You get a lot of pop-ins.
No, never. I was really, you know, I told them, okay, guys, I love you. I'm this close to you, but not the just coming in stuff. They never do it. They never do it. Everybody loves Raymond. My parents are really busy, though. My mom's crazy busy, so they don't have time. You really have done it all. I've done it all, dude. What about you, Jay? Is there a common thing that you've never done? Man, I feel like I've done it all, you know, a couple times. Yeah, sure. I've never waxed my eyebrows. That's something that, like, I think that every, like, for a girl, I don't think I know a single girl that's never done that. Or they do it regularly. Like, do you, Lauren? Yeah, I do it regularly. I've never urinated at a trough. I have. Yes, you have. No, I haven't. Really? I'm too embarrassed. What do you do, sit down in the stall? Yes, he does. I'll take that silence as a yes. With his rollerblades on, he sits down. Okay, now, just real quick. We've talked about the trough before, but the trough is just like one long... Trough. Like a bucket almost. Like a bucket. And so when the guy... Looks like a sink. Yeah, a long sink. Looks like a big, long sink. So when the guy goes to the bathroom, their trail passes by everyone else? Yes. Oh, no. Oh, there's drains right below you. Oh, okay. I thought that maybe there was one drain at the end. Yeah, that's repugnant. And it all tilted to one side. That's repugnant. My dad told me about one of his... A guy he used to work with was an older guy, had fake...
teeth. Uh-huh. Oh, no. And they fell in the trap. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. They fell in the trap. Oh, my gosh. I dropped my cell phone in the toilet. My dad said he was at the bar with him. And he cleaned them off. Get me out. Get me the hell out of here. He washed them off, put them back in. Oh, my goodness. Well, what are you going to do? You're not going to throw them away. Yeah, you take them and boil them. You can't come back to the table like all gummy. I would, if it were me. I'll get another scotch and soda. Hey, what are you looking at? He wouldn't be able to eat his dinner. If it were me, I would retrieve them. I would walk over to the sink. I would turn the hot water on in the sink. I would use whatever the soap was. Yeah. And I would wash it off. No, you wouldn't. Yeah, I would. No, you wouldn't. Hot water. Woods, you have no choice. Yes, you do. You go to the kitchen. You drop it in a pot of boiling water. It's like... It's like if you pee on your pants or something. You put the pants back on. You can't walk out in public without your pants on. It's a little different. Because you're not eating your pants. You're not putting them in your mouth. Yeah, but imagine walking out with no tab. It's worse. I gotta go. Pay my tab. I'll get you back Monday. I think we're all way too uptight. About urine in our mouths? No, that's not it. I think that what we're uptight about is germs.
Dude, it's urine. You are, Mike. I am, but I would still wash it off with hot water and soap. You have to. Yeah. Yeah, I would, too. You have to. And I wouldn't go out into the dining area with no teeth. Imagine this guy. Like, it just happened. The look on his face was like, really? Oh, my God. Really? Really? Is it flying in urine right now? Really? Really? Really? Really? It's terrible. Shouldn't have ordered the corn. Yeah. You wouldn't wash them off, so you would keep them outwards. I would run them under the water, and then I'd try to take them to the kitchen and see if they'd boil them. Oh, come on. Really? Yeah, really. Really, they're going to boil your teeth? Sure, sir. That's a good idea. Absolutely. Yeah, and then boil your teeth. Come on. We don't have any problem as a reputable restaurant boiling your teeth. Absolutely. What if they had, like, bleach, and you soaked them in bleach, and then you washed them after that? I'd just go home. I would go home. You know what, sir? In fact, tell us where you're sitting. And when we're done boiling your mouth. We'll shine your shoes. Well, yeah, we'll come over. We'll return your teeth. Yeah, let's just throw off a pair of your shoes. We'll get those shine for you, too. Disgusting. Got anything you want us to walk? Yeah, you got a little schtuckus in your eye. Let me get that. Let me get that, too. I dropped my cell phone in the toilet at work. You did? Yeah. It's common. Fished it out. Speaking of germs, I've never been to Disneyland. Yeah. A big joke. What?
Yeah. I've been to Disney World, which is in Florida, but I've never been to Disneyland. Florida. It's in Florida. I don't think that's a big deal. I think that's fine. You gotta go. I just barely went because we have a three-year-old. That's the only reason. Have you been on a roller coaster? Oh, many. I love roller coasters. Really? Yeah. Love them. Love the free fall ride where you sit in and they put the thing over you and it takes you up and you... You strike me as a no roller coaster kind of guy. Absolutely not. You know why? I feel... It's very safe. What? I won't do things like go surfing because there's too much room for error there. Thanks, pal. Like? Like surfing? Like sharks, you mean? Please. I'm going surfing Friday. I want to hear about it. That's a crazy idea. You're buckled in on a ride. Why? It's in someone else's hands. Yeah. Why is it crazy? Well. I'm already nervous. Oh, don't be nervous, bro. Don't be. Oh, no. Why would you be nervous? Just wear a steak suit. A suit made of chum. Yeah, just put A1 on that thing. Jay will probably think it's funny to put chum in the back of his wetsuit. A little joke we play on all new surfers. All the new Barneys. But Jay's going to be with you, right? Yes, Jay's going to be. He's going to be holding my hand. If Jay was anywhere near me, I would feel safe. Jay, by the way, I'm going to need you to go ahead and tow me out to the waves because I'm not going to be able to paddle. I'll tell you right now.
I'm interested to see how this is going to pan out. Oh, me too. That's so funny. Yesterday, Jay says in the office, Mikey, you want to go too? I'm like, we just meet? I honestly may want to come just to videotape it and put it on the website. Come take pictures. We'll go hang out. Let's get a flip cam. Friday? Yeah. Right after the show. I might. We'll make it right. I guarantee Woods is going to be like this. Am I? I don't know if you know. I'll second that. I don't know if you know. What don't I know? But I'm an athlete. No. You can pull the athlete card. It's a whole different. No, you're a baseball player. Han, I've been surfing before. How dare you? Don't worry about me. That's what Todd said, too, because he's never been surfing. And I was like, you should get out there. Come on. Like, try it. And he's like, Sienna. Your husband looks like a surfer. He does. He totally does. That's why I want him to do it. I'm like, how can you not be? But he's like, I play sports, and I'm sorry, but I'm good at every sport I play. Oh, I have seen many an athlete fall in the surfing challenge. It's sad. I've been surfing. Okay. How many times? Three times. Okay. You're a pro. And I got up. And you are athletic. I got up every time. Was it in Maui? I went in Kauai, I went in Barbados, and I went in Florida.
I surf every day. I know that's surprising. The internet. The internet. Every single day. Thank you. Yeah, I'm nervous, man. I'm nervous just because, you know, it's nerve-wracking. Okay, what do you do with your board when you have to go under a wave? Oh, you duck dive? Yeah, you duck dive through the wave. What I would do, because I'm really bad at the duck diving, is you grab the board and flip it upside down and lie under it. You turtle. Yeah, you get a turtle. On a long board, you turtle. On a short board, you duck dive. Duck dive. Turtle and duck. I went and watched a dude. All the fat guys in the audience just checked out. Yeah. Me included. Mikey's fixing himself a snack. Yeah. Right now, the same stuff that happened in Augustus Gloop's mind in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory just happened to me. I was thinking about chocolate rainbows, chocolate waterfalls, chocolate rivers, while he was talking about turtle diving. I was like, turtle diving. Chocolate. Food. Chocolate. Snossages. Yeah. I take up surfing, make Rebecca think I'm sexy. My wife thinks I'm real sexy if I'm a surfer. Me and you. We'll hit it on the weekends. If you can get into the water and, like, force yourself to do it a few times. I understand your head gets cold for two seconds. You lose so much weight, and it's through your entire body. It's the best workout probably ever. No, I heard my head will be cold for two seconds. So you're out. Two seconds too much. Sorry. Get a little hood.
It can be a regular size hood, too. Look at that little hood. I'm just looking. A little teeny tiny hood and some little teeny tiny gloves. Mikey, why don't you get... I have an idea, Mikey. This would be really good for you. It would be a great hobby. Get a little tiny surfboard. No way. Mikey, why don't you get a popsicle stick? It'll be a longboard for you, but why don't you get a popsicle stick? The smaller the harder. If you have not heard this story about the woman in England who's driving her car, cuts off a semi-truck, he hits her, doesn't know, and pushes her down the freeway. Unbelievable. And we have the video at MikeyShow.com right now. We'll talk about it, play audio next, the whole deal. This song is classic. Love this song. I'm seven years old. I'm traveling cross country with my family and this is on the radio. What did he say? What does that mean? What? Afternoon delight. What do you think? What do you think it means? Horizontal mambo. Horizontal mambo, by the way. Don't blush. Don't blush. This is the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Coming to San Diego this Saturday air.
Air this Saturday at 4th and B. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Unique brand of ethereal dream pop and electronica. Live this Saturday at 4th and B. Ticketmaster.com for your tickets to see air this Saturday. Must be 21 with proper ID. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Do you remember when you used a dial-up to access the internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed, and now you're doing more and more on the Internet. Facebook and Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with dial-up. And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than dial-up? Here's the deal. If you want super fast Internet without all the lag you get with DSL, switch to Earthlink from Time Warner Cable.
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Honda. I think it should be bigger. Honda. No, no, bigger. Honda. You know, I think we can do better. Honda. I don't think so. Can we just get a little bigger? Honda. There we go. Let's go with that one. There's a really big thing going on at your Honda dealer right now. It's called Honda's Really Big Thing Sales Event. And Honda's not used to doing things like this, so there's never been anything like it. There's this special lease deal on the 2010 Honda Accord. which ALG picked for having the highest resale value in its class. And if you think about it, high resale value means high quality. The kind that lasts a long time, even though these really special lease deals definitely won't. The point is, this really big thing sales event is a great time to lease an Accord or a Civic, Insight, Fit, CR-V, Pilot Odyssey, or Ridgeline for that matter. Just go see your Honda dealer today. 2010 Accord winner of the ALG Residual Value Award midsize car segment. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public by being burdened with credit card debt. To aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action.
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Good morning, traffic brought to you by Preparation H, Maximum Strength Cream. We go to Chula Vista 125 northbound at Olympic Parkway. We have a crash reported there. Solo car spun out, no injuries. Earlier motorcycle crash, Highway 78, 10th Street, no injuries. Involved with it, still in the final clearing stages, tow truck heading to the scene. Traffic also brought to you by Account Temps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Call or visit them at accountteps.com, an equal opportunity employer. I'm Elena O'Brien. FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. PJ. Thank you, brother. Welcome back to Mikey Show. 5701-949 or 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to text and message us. You can do that. Let's see. So, crazy story. If you haven't seen it, go to MikeyShow.com right now. We have the video. Happened in England. A semi-truck got cut off by a woman in a car. Hits the woman in the car. Takes her onto the freeway. He's driving down the freeway really fast. And somebody in the other lane pulled out their cell phone or whatever and started videotaping it.
The side of her car, so you can kind of get an image, like the entire side of her little Renault car was up against the grill of this tanker truck on the freeway going over 60 miles an hour. And it looks like it was raining. Yeah. Which is kind of even more dangerous. It was in West Yorkshire. West Yorkshire. You don't worry about Yorkshire. Yorkshire Terrier. That's right. Let's take a listen. Now they see the car directly through the passenger window. It just passed them. Dude. That car looks like it's hauling. Oh, yeah. That truck. Truck is hauling. It's insane. It's going so fast. You can see right now, if you want to, you go to MikeyShow.com, and you can actually see the video of it happening. Do you want to hear the craziest part? Yeah. That this happened in January.
And no one, not the girl in the Renault little car or the truck driver. Right. No one even reported the incident. Unbelievable. The girl lived with little damage. Like the car was barely damaged. They just stopped. He realized the car was there. I mean, and they both just walked away from it. So he's sitting up in his cab and he can't see. The truck is so big that he can't see the little car on the grill of his truck. Her name is Rona. Williams, the lady that this happened to? Just terrifying, absolutely terrifying. First, I just thought, my God, he just hasn't seen me. He just doesn't know I'm there. And that was probably the most terrifying bit, just thinking that no one knew what was going on. If that happened in the United States, that would be the biggest news in the world. I'm a little more laid back over there in England, I guess. I guess. What did you do, Rona, to get this dude's attention while you were going down the road? Screamed for a bit. Flushed my lights, beat my horn, pulled my handbrake on like that was going to do anything at all. Oh, my gosh. I don't know that I would have had the guts. I think that would be worse. Yeah, I wouldn't have had the guts to put the handbrake on. What about calling the police, Rona? Did you call the police? Try to stress the urgency and get them to send some police ASAP to try and warn the guy what was going on. Yeah, I don't know if the guy didn't know. Really?
Something makes me think if she cut... How do you not know there's somebody stuck to your grill? How do you not know? What if he was looking down first? Just serendipitous. The second that he was looking down, he happened to, and then he's that far up, like Wood said. Maybe. But you have to feel. Your car's got to slow down all of a sudden, right? Yeah. Who knows, dude? That's... Hey, Rona, how did the whole ordeal end? He managed to maneuver as both still stuck together onto the hard shoulder and then back, literally back the truck off my car. Unbelievable. The British love the word literally. I love the British. Literally. They use the word literally when it literally doesn't apply. All the time. All the time. Love that accent. I wonder, what do you guys suppose that 911 call would have sounded like? Emergency services, may I help you? Oh, yes. Hello, darling. I'm driving along the motorway, and it seems a truck has struck me, and I'm now being pushed along by this 18-wheeler truck. Is that right? Whereabouts are you? Oh, you know the area, I'm sure. It's right along Route 4 here on the motorway. Do you know... Is that over by Kensington? That's it, that's it. Wonderful.
Where are you from? Are you from Kensington? Oh, actually, I'm from an area called Cornwall. Cornwall, yes. Yeah, it's a nice, quaint little area by the shore. I thought it might be Kensington because I thought I noticed it with the accent, but maybe not. I know, I get that quite often, actually. But, yeah, so I'm just being pushed along now. He looks like a quite lovely man. How fast did you say the truck is traveling? Oh, I don't know, maybe 48 kilometers per hour. Yeah, 48 kilometers. Yes. Quite fast, actually. It is quite fast. It's a bit of a ride, actually. That sounds deadly. What part of town again? Oh, I don't know where we are now. We've travelled a bit of ways. It could be near Edenborough Square. Edenborough Square, yes. I've been there quite often. In fact, do you know a chap named Ian Caffello? Oh, it sounds bloody familiar. Is he kind of a... Sort of a snaggle tooth. Here's actually one chap too. Brilliant eyes, brilliant chef. Brilliant indeed. Now, it seems I've missed my exit here. Oh, that's terrible. Oh, I think the fella has started to see me now. Oh, there he is. Oh, he's waving back to me. Hello. Hello, darling. Wonderful. So I believe we'll just... Let me ask you, darling, what do you need from me?
You know, I believe we are starting to slow down now. So I think if you could, maybe if you could just come over and make sure there's not too much damage to my car here. Can't do that. I live in Brighton, so if you're in that area, please stop by. Let's have some tea. You sound lovely. Okay, no bother. Well, thank you, dear. You do enjoy the rest of your afternoon there. Cheerio. Okay. Bye-bye. Unbelievable. She sounded remarkably calm. Yeah. The English are very calm. He sounded remarkably bored. Very calm under pressure. He's yawning. A couple yawns. Snaggletooth. Yeah, is Ian a bit of a snaggletooth? Oh my goodness. That's quite rude, but yes, he is. He's a snaggletooth. My scalp hurts. You can't quite afford the dentistry, really. We call the tooth Warren for no reason. We just nicknamed him Warren. Is it, how's Warren doing? We'll have to hear that again at some point later in the day. I love it. He's got a bit of a personality, that Warren. Oh, man. There are five people on the Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Bravo. I'm 39 years of age for another month and a half. Lordy, lordy. I am. Oh, God. Yeah, I'm older. My wife says I'm the worst person to buy for. She doesn't know what to get me ever.
What do you get for the guy that's got everything? Yeah, that's a good question. Did you collect anything? Amazon gift certificate. I do. I collect Bibles, but I have every translation there is, so I don't need any more. I've got them. It's kind of a strange thing to collect. That's kind of cool. Do you collect anything? Do you read all of them, or do you just want them? Oh, I read them. I mean, I don't read them cover to cover, but I look at them. You just want them in a collection. Yeah, I want to see what the translation reads like. Then I read a page and I go, okay, now I know. Put it back on the shelf. I got the prettiest Bible I've ever seen as a wedding gift. You did? I've never seen anything like it. It's gold and white and it's phenomenal. You collect anything weird? I used to. What? Are we talking about this? Yeah. What? Got milk ads. Oh, my God. Wait, what do you mean you collected the ads, Sienna? You ripped them out of the magazine? No way. Why? I was young. What? I started in middle school. Excuse me. I would carefully rip them out. I didn't want them to look torn. You can't say I was young as a reason for collecting got milk ads as if all children collect got milk ads. She's like, oh, that's going to be worth something. All right. That's a good one. I did. I thought they were going to be worth something.
Because, okay, these celebrities, I don't know, they weren't going to be around forever. And maybe if I had a Marilyn Monroe got milk ad, someone would buy it one day. Did you and your La Jolla girlfriends trade these? No, no, no. Hey, do you have a Colin Farrell? Do you have a Corey Haim? Yeah, I'll trade you a Corey Haim for Colin Farrell. Too soon. Too soon. Do you have them in a binder somewhere? I did. I kept them in a binder. You didn't paste them on the wall? No. That would ruin them. They were collector's items. They were in laminated pages in a binder. You know those little slots you just slide the page in? Change your Britney Spears for Christina Aguilera. None of my friends did it. I didn't really talk about it. You're the only person in the world. Even the people that came up with the Got Milk ad didn't save them. Unbelievable. You guys, they may still be in existence. Really? When I was in high school and stuff, I would just start getting rid of stuff, and I had younger sisters, so I'd just give it all to them. Because it was mine, they would want it. Yeah, they're like, oh, great. Thanks for the Got Milk ad. No, I'm not kidding. One of my sisters, I remember saying to me about a year ago, do you still want that binder of Got Milk ads? I said, I still have it. Shocking. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, because the Kenny G one's not as good as it used to be.
Nobody should Photoshop Sienna. Oh, thank you. On a got milk ad. On a got milk ad. For sure. Because that wouldn't be at all appropriate. That wouldn't be funny at all. Please. Just me with the got milk? Mustache, yeah. Yes. Oh. How many did you have? Out of curiosity. Over a hundred. Oh, my gosh. I want to text my sister, see if she still has it. Because if she has it, I would bring it in. Bring it in. Bring it in. I remember some of them. No. Because I did remember buying reinforcers, you know, the little plastic circles that you put over the holes. You're going to let it get hurt? Because on the ones that I did put directly in the binder, I just poked through and then I felt bad that I ruined the image. You ruined it, man. I put reinforcers on them. Question. Question. Question. What? Did you have like a scripto knife that you use? Like a special razor blade? How did you? Did you just rip it? No, I did it real, like, slowly. How pissed were you? Two hands. How pissed were you when every now and then you'd rip one? I would be so bummed. I would tape it. I would tape it. You'd be like... No! You're not supposed to... Keanu Reeves! Keanu Reeves! Mom! I remember there was, like, kids in there, old people in there, families in there.
Okay, I got a question. What would constitute a real good Godhead? Like, what would have been your favorite? What was your favorite? Yeah. If it was, like, someone hot, like a guy, like Jonathan Taylor Thomas. You're like, oh, my gosh. I think I had a Jonathan Taylor Thomas got milk at, and that was, like, the mothership. That's the prizes of your collection. Like, that was, like, oh. Is this really happening? You did take a script out of that one. That one was a script. That's like your Ty Cobb baseball card. You know what I mean? That one went on my ceiling above my bed. Yeah. My goodness. Who took my... Who's got my gut milk scrapbook? I'm serious. Alvon, did you take my gut milk scrapbook? No, Waverly's the one that ended up taking it. Waverly! I told you, don't take my gut milk scrapbook. Is this my voice that you're doing? Yes, as a child. Don't take it. Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah. A raspy Napoleon Dynamite. Anybody else? Call us. I want to know stupid collections that you have. 5701949. My mom used to collect clowns. That wasn't so much. Stop, because it's creeping me out. I know. And especially, like, she had some that were painted.
Like paintings that would be on the wall. So they'd be especially creepy and scary? Yeah, I would swear they were staring at me. Yeah, they were. That's because they were. There was a real person behind those eyes. I know. I'd be like, ring, ring, ring, ring. Pennywise. Pennywise. I don't understand why everyone's so scared like clowns. Watch Stephen King's It. You guys, are you scared of buffalo? I was afraid of clowns way before that. Were you? You're that guy? Sorry, I'm 39. You're that guy? I was. My whole life. That's so scary. Clownish, exaggerated. My brother says the reason that kids are afraid of clowns is because their facial features are exaggerated. Exaggerated, exactly. And that's scary. My brother says all girls. Okay, it wasn't his theory, but it was someone else's. All girls either look like a bird, a mouse, or a clown. I'm in. I believe it. I'd be a clown. That's really great. Yeah. All girls look like a bird, a mouse. You guys just looked at me like which one would I be? Yeah, I want to know what both of you. I'd be a clown for sure. Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this. Hang on a minute. Oh, my gosh. Am I a clown? I don't think I'm a bird. That's what I want to do. Jay, are you listening? Yes. I'm not a mouse. I want you guys to get a piece of paper. All right?
Just the guys. Just the guys. Oh, this is going to be mean. I want you to write Sienna, and I want you to write Lauren. This is going to make me cry. I'm not a bird or a mouse. We'll see. I have to be a clown. I want you guys to be honest, all right? Now, we get bird, mouse, or clown. I'm going to write them down so I know. For everybody listening, I want you to think about your sisters, your girlfriends, your wives, whether or not. All right, now, so you look. There's not one that I would want to be, though. So we've got to put what we think. And I want to see if we come up with the same stuff. What about, like, a rabbit? I don't know. It wasn't his theory. It was one of his friends. Mikey is staring at me right now. We tried it out on like 10 celebrities after he told me, and you're watching me as I say this right now. He's staring at you. You are scrutinizing my big old mouth. All right, I have my answers. I got mine. Jay? I'm good. I'm ready. You guys ready? Why am I really nervous? Sienna. Clown. Clown. Wow! You guys just said this.
Wow. Are you ready? Okay. Lauren. Bird. Bird. Bird. What a trick. I love it. Oh, my. I got goosebumps. Really? This is the coolest thing ever. I got goosebumps. I look like a bird. Now I want to bring 80 women in here, and I want us all to guess what they are. You and me both, brother. I thought for sure I was a clown. That's awesome. Unbelievable. Now I'm seeing my wife. I think she's a mouse. Mouse. Mouse. Yeah, mouse. Absolutely. My wife. I don't know. I feel bad saying any of them. I need to, like, imagine your wife's face better. My wife's a clown. Clown? Yep. Jay? I don't think I know her good enough, too. I've bumped into her one time in the hallway. Oh, my goodness. I love Bird Mouse Clown. Bird Mouse Clown is the greatest thing ever. Yeah. People are like, hey, have you heard of the Mikey Show? Oh, are they the ones that do Bird Mouse Clown?
Yeah, they bring in like. We call it BMC. Yeah, they have BMC. They do BMC. Because right now I'm feeling insecure about my clown. See, I always thought I was a clown. Now the bird thing is kind of getting me like, what is it? Is the nose? It wouldn't matter. If I said anything, you guys would be like, I'm not a mouse. Okay, you guys are a whale, a rhino, or a caterpillar. Whale, rhino, or fart. Whale, rhino, or fart, okay? Mikey, fart. Let's fart. Fart. Okay, Lauren, we need to come up with three things that guys aren't. You can't. You can't. This is a known thing. It's a known thing. Can I just tell you something? You're the hottest clown in the world. Are you a clown? Just think, though. You have to be one of them. Excuse me. Don't anybody Photoshop. Stop it. Pepper. Pepper as a bird. Stop it. And Sienna as a clown. Amazing. Okay. Can we do a couple celebrities, though? Because I'm really. I don't like this at all. Okay. Okay. Rachel McAdams. You guys have to... Don't just say it. You have to come up with your own. You know what, though? We need a picture that we all look at and agree upon. Fine. I'll come up with it. I'll get one. We'll have to do... We'll take some time with this. We'll do it at the top of the next break. Absolutely. Yeah, we'll take some time with this, and we'll get it all dialed in, because what I want is I want listeners to be able to see the same thing that we see. That was freaking genius. It was awesome. Yep.
I know. I mean, here's my answers are here. Written down. Yeah, me too. Just one. Let's just do one. Can we do one right now? Here's a picture of Rachel McAdams. We got to put it online. Okay, fine. But I want to know what you guys think. Jay? She's gorgeous. Jay, can you see this pic? Jay, can you see it? Jay doesn't need it. Jay has your picture. I instantly know it. I instantly know it. Solid. Okay, well, what is it? Mouse. Mouse. I love it! Oh, my God. Wow. It totally makes sense. That's hilarious. It makes sense. Every woman looks like a bird. They're going to be discussing this at Cambridge. Absolutely. This theory. Okay, women out there, I'm sorry that I introduced this because you can't get offended by it because you have to be one of the three. Right. Because every beautiful woman in the world, like you could say the most beautiful woman in the world. And it has to be one of the three. So it's like you just have to match up their characteristics to one of the three. BMC. BMC.
Dude, that'd be the other thing. Like, we'll just be out in public. You go, hey, BMC. You have to say, like, BM or C. Oh, no. BMC. That's the tip-off. BMC. I don't like this. I'm feeling uncomfortable. It's the greatest thing I've ever heard. I'm feeling judged. You're a gorgeous clown. You're a beautiful clown. You're a very beautiful bird. I'm a clown. Yeah, but how attractive are birds? Like, you know? But birds are, like, at least, like, dainty. Dainty. What do we say? An overweight, fat clown? We didn't say that. We said a gorgeous clown. You're a gorgeous clown. You're a gorgeous clown. Yeah, there is. Think of like the mimes out there. Hey, I'm looking at one, baby. Think of the mimes. I'll show you one on my phone. I'm upset. I've got a gorgeous clown on my phone. Are you kidding? There's no such thing as a... There's gorgeous birds. There's not gorgeous mice. Are you kidding me? Mice are so cute. But mice are cute. So cute. No one sees a clown and is like... Oh, look at that clown. Oh.
I'm not even going to look at it. Why that's on my phone, I don't know. It's the creepiest Raggedy Ann looking clown I've ever seen. That is one of my mom's clowns. But look how pretty she is. Oh, beautiful. Oh, yeah. It's so gorgeous. I'll have nightmares about it tonight. Okay. It coincidentally happens to have red hair. Yeah. I was at my parents' house at home and I was like scared to death of that thing. It makes me feel a little better than Jamie's a clown. Jamie's a clown too. Yeah. Gorgeous. Okay. Gorgeous. What's his wife? Every woman is either... BMC. Yeah, BMC. I can't believe I'm a bird. I can't believe it. That's amazing. For years, I thought I was a clown. I totally see that Lauren is a bird. Really? Yeah. So, like, I guess that I'm a clown. 5-7-0. I'm so sorry to all the women out there that I may have offended. Why would you ever have said that? I don't know. It just came out. I'm going to come up with three for guys. And just like a woman, just like a woman, it doesn't matter what they are, they're mad. Yeah. They don't like it no matter which it is. Weird. Yeah, strange. I'm a mouse when I'm eating cheese. Yeah, really? See, but that's the thing. It's like, I don't want to be any of them, but a clown is not even an animal. It's gorgeous. Hey, you're the only one that's human. What do you think about that? Yeah, that's true. You're the only one that's human. That's not a good, that's not good either. All the rest of them are animals. I love it. Anyway. That's right. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com.
There's somebody on the line right now that says that there is one for dudes. Oh, yes. Mikey Show, who's this? This is M1 Sean Show. Yes. Sean Show. What's up, dude? Is this a real thing or you're making this one up? Dude, I totally made this up. I wanted the girls to try and apply this one. I'm trying it. Just to see if it works. I'm in. I already have my pen ready. I got lion, sloth, or donkey. Oh, my gosh. This is mean. Lion? Now, let me explain. Well, wait a minute. I'm wondering. I already know. We'll see. We'll see how it plays out. I already know. LSD. LSD. LSD. LSD. We get to do all three guys? Yeah, so the girls are walking through the mall. They're like, hey, Sienna, LSD. John. Okay, you got Jay. You should do our one. I know. On all three of us? Too bad we don't have another girl here right now that we could have her do it. Okay. Yeah, you got to do it. Me, Woods, and Jay. I really hope Lauren and I agree. I hope we are, too. Yeah, if you guys don't agree, if you guys don't agree, you're total. This thing goes to pot. Ready? The one that gets me is Woods. Really? I want to make sure that these are legit. Okay. I want to make sure they're legit. Okay. Okay, what do we do? Someone sign. Okay, Mikey. Cool, thanks. Mikey? Donkey? Dang it. See? You said sloth. I said sloth. Yeah, that's what Lauren said to me. Sloth. I said Woods Lion J Donkey.
We are all... What? All of them are wrong. Need to come up with another one for dudes. Got to come up with another one for dudes. Didn't work. Don't work. Come on, ladies. We can do this. We need to get them. This is not fair. This is not fair. I feel vindicated. We all three agreed on both girls. You guys just made it up. I want to see. I'm telling you. He's coming in. He's coming in here to show it and prove it. Look at that. Oh, my God. That's easy to write it in afterwards. That's so great. No way. Laugh it up, clowns. All right, let's do this. Let's do the Incorporator. Let's take a break. You call us right now with the Incorporator's words. Common words and phrases. We're going to call someplace. And Woodsy has to incorporate about eight different words into a phone call. They can only hear Woods, they can't hear me, and I'll be giving him your words to work into the conversation next. Be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Signs that say this is not an exit don't apply to him. His two cents have overruled Supreme Court decisions. If he rode in your car,
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You could buy a couch. You could buy furniture. You could buy a TV. You could buy all kinds of stuff. New bed and more. I mean, think about what you could have bought with the money that I saved, $1,600 a year. So there's a lot of things you could be doing. So please give it a shot. 1-800-777-4AIS. 1-800-777-4247. Tell them Mikey told you to call. And when you do save the money, call us and tell us all about it. We want to know all about it. Attention to all Americans overwhelmed with $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Due to the economic crisis, a bailout program has now been established that may eliminate up to 50% of what you owe the credit card companies. This consumer debt bailout is now active to help Americans regain finances during these hard economic times and save money. We have one goal in mind with this bailout, and that is to eliminate up to 50% of your credit card debts for good and roll everything into one affordable lower monthly payment. If you're a U.S. citizen and owe over $10,000, you may now call to see if you qualify. for this bailout. The number to call is 800-722-5593. While the economy is getting worse and worse, millions of Americans are expected to take advantage of this opportunity. There is no better time than now to have up to 50% of your debts eliminated for good and save thousands of dollars through this bailout. Call now, and within five minutes right over the phone, a representative will let you know if you qualify and how much of your debt can be eliminated for good. Call 800-722-5593. 800-722-5593. Again, that's 800-722-5593.
We've been very aware of the issues on the safety side, but quite frankly, we've got a lot of respect for the Toyota brand. When I told my friends I was going to get a new Toyota, they were like, are you sure? And I'm like, you know what? I've never had a problem. These are actual Toyota customers talking about the recent purchase. And it's loyalty like this that has helped make Toyota the number one brand in America. So we're offering you our biggest thank you ever. For full details on these unprecedented offers, visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, moving forward. Sales claim based on motorintelligence.com calendar year 2009 sales. The Home Depot has a new lower price on Miracle-Gro garden soil for flowers and vegetables. A one-cubic-foot bag is just $3.97. It feeds your flowers and vegetables for up to three full months. That's three full months you don't have to feed them. You just enjoy them. And water occasionally. All because you started out with that bag of Miracle-Gro garden soil you got for just $3.97. More saving. More doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. U.S. only. See store for details. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply.
Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Nissan. Get quality now. Get savings now. The Nissan Now sales event ends March 31st. Get to a Nissan dealer now for the best deals ever on our best cars ever. Chula Vista 125 North Bend Olympic Parkway solo crash spun out with a car that spun out. No injuries and traffic is pretty smooth heading past the scene. Motorcycle injury crash going on Highway 78, 10th Street. That is now cleared from the road. Traffic also brought to you by McDonald's. Try McDonald's new sweet blended ice frappes made with a hint of coffee and topped with real... whipped cream. Your day just got a little cooler and a whole lot sweeter. New Frappes now at McDonald's. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. Good morning to you. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. Bird here from Dragon Eyewear for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning. Brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate. The drink that enhances your lifestyle and your goodness. So try some out and be happy. Surf-wise today, looking at some waves out of the southwest and a little bit of west-northwest out there on the fade as well. Kind of hard to see some areas. There is some dense fog pockets along the coastline, but from what I can tell, looking at chest-shoulder highways on average with some overhead waves at the standout south-facing areas. High tide earlier this morning, dropping down to a pretty low low, so that will affect size and shape at all areas. Beach breaks, semi-walled up, some pick-and-shoes corners from the crossed-up combination of swells.
The standout south-facing reef areas will look a little bit better at the lower tights, too, as they'll have a little bit more focus, but still expect some crossed-up peaks there, too. Look for this fog and haze of burn-off relatively quickly into a nicer sunny day. Light and variable winds with it right now. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com, and for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of South Coast Surfshops' five locations. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaki Urbamate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not the most health-conscious person in the world. Woods. It's hard work looking this good. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. Sienna. When they're real, you know. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9. We at war. We at war with terrorism. Racism. But most of all, we at war. God, show me the way because the devil's trying to break me down. Know what the Midwest is. Young and restless, restless. Might snatch your necklace. The next day, might check your Lexus. Now you see it.
He's in the zone. We're going to get to the Incorporator in just a minute. You guys hear about those gowns, the new hospital gowns that won't show off your bazinga bazoink? Finally. Yeah, right? Oh, yes. I'm still thinking about the clown mouse and bird. What do we call it, Woodsy? BMC. BMC? Bird, mouse, clown. Every woman looks like a bird, a mouse, or a clown. I got a text from my husband. I'm a clown. Lauren's a bird. That's what he thought instantly. Oh, my God. Yes! This works. It's awesome. It really does work. Bird? Bird. BMC. Oh, wow. You know that. So, yes, there are new hospital gowns in Britain. They are coming. They were just unveiled. You know, these things are actually pretty stylish. They were... designed by a designer, a U.S. born fashion designer, Ben Delisi. And they are like pinstripe and they have buttons on the side so that you don't have to like show your backside. What a terrible design in the first place. They were like cloth sacks before. And they still are.
It's like paper towels. Everywhere else in the world. They were made out of paper towels. Yeah, so now the designers were given 25,000 pounds, which is a little over $37,000, to develop a new gown. And this is what they've come up with. It also comes, it's accessorized with a snuggly fleece blanket. Really? Mm-hmm. Right. Glad. Right. The designer who designed these hospital gowns also designed dresses for, like, Kate Winslet. Really? Oh, my gosh. He's like a legit designer. Yeah. He's great. She said, if you look good, you feel good. Anybody here... The pinstripe on the gown is very slimming, Michael. It is. It's very slimming. It's very great. You don't look chubby in it. No, it's slim. Buttoned on the side. Three button only. There's also a little pouch on the robe for your cell phone. No way. That's awesome. Wow. I'm in. Question. What? Any of you guys... Is there any of us that have never worn a hospital gown? Nope. I don't think I ever have. You have not? Knock on wood. I get nervous saying things like that. Would you have it? Yeah, I have. Oh, yeah, I have. Woods, you've had surgery. For what? Elbow and nose. Really? Yeah. You busted your nose? I got jumped in Chicago. Oh, that's right. Broke my nose and broke my elbow. Oh, my gosh. Two surgeries the same day. Oh, dude. Thank God for morphine. The bird is eating nuts. Yeah, yeah. The bird is eating birdseed. Yeah, a little bird over here eating birdseed. Little Lauren. Tweet, tweet, little bird. She's like sitting there eating little almonds. She had it for some reason making balloon animals.
Those giant shoes on. What do you want? I have two different colored converse on. Lauren at lunch. I've been working really hard to try to find three animals for guys. Look at Lauren. She's pretending to be a bird. She's picking up the seeds. Oh, wow. That's awesome. That's awesome. Really? Well, let me see if this mouse works yet. No. Are you talking about your wife or are you talking about... Sorry, Rebecca. Rebecca's the mouse. Lauren's a bird. I'm a clown. BMC. That's what you look like, apparently. Bird, mouse, or clown. Every woman looks like a bird, mouse, or clown. Run, BMC. Run, BMC. I just had an epiphany, by the way. What? I'll tell you how to break. An epiphany. Great. We got to wait. We were trying to fix our mouse. I want to know what it is. You can't say it? Turn the mics on.
Oh, okay. Bye. Light bulb. You ready? I'm ready. Need to bail? Yep. That's a great idea. That's genius. We have a good idea. Woods just came up with it. Light bulb. You ready? I'm ready. Need to bail? Yep. You gotta leave the room. Okay. I'm out. Jay, what are we calling? What kind of place? It's a bridal shop. Calling a bridal shop. We call different types of places. Out in the middle of Timbuktu. I've been there. Great place. Good burgers. And then we have Woodsy, who used to be a sales guy. And to kind of break up the monotony of being a sales guy, what they would do is he would be on the phone with someone and his buddies would come over and they would just start throwing words at him. And he would have to incorporate the words into the conversation with the person. He's really good at it. And it's become...
Oh, my gosh. One of the most popular things we do. He's doing the walk down the stairs bit. Yeah, we could see him through the mirror. Oh, he's doing the elevator. Now he's doing the escalator. Now he's doing the walk down the stairs. Oh, and a manager just walked behind him and he's embarrassed now. All right, so let's get a bunch of words. M1 Allison. Allison, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What's your word? You got it. I love it. Hang on the line. No, don't hang on the line. M1 Browncoat. Hey, what's up, Mikey? What's your word? Hysterectomy. Got it. M1 Matt. Hey, dude. I got a bowl of fruit. Bowl of fruit's good. Hang on. M1 Berkshires. Good morning, guys. Good morning. Hello. My word is wedgie. I like it. I love it. Like wedgie. Great. Hang on. Great. M1 Dogbait. Chimichanga. I like it. Thank you.
Thank you. M1 Irani. Hi, Mikey. Hello. Hello. I'm Irani, and I love the Incorporated. Thank you very much, Irani. My word is fishnet pantyhose. It's a good one, Irani. Thank you very much. Thank you. Bye. That's Irani. Bye. We got a couple of texts. We got a text from M1 Spider-Man. He wants Woody Woodpecker. And M1 Aaron the man wants hammerhead shark. Yes. All right. Come on in, Woodsy. He's running. Hear the floor shaking? I know. Oh, geez. Wow. What an entrance. You want the first word? First word. First word's blowfish. Okay. That's a very confident okay. Mm-hmm. Go for it, Woodsy. Bridal. Bridal shop. Great. Get your wedding dress picked out, Woods. Blowfish, blowfish. Bridal shop. Yeah, good morning. My name's Steve. I've got a few questions for you. If you've got a second. Yeah, yes, of course. I am getting married in June, and I'm very, very excited about it. And I'm actually planning the majority of our wedding. And we are having, it's in a big city, and we're going to have...
Actually, it's kind of a surprise for my wife, but Hootie and the Blowfish are actually playing. Actually, Darius Rucker, who was in Hootie and the Blowfish, is playing at our wedding. So it's a really big deal. And I wanted some advice on a couple of things from you. Okay, sure. Yeah. Okay. What types of things do you guys do? Do you have a wedding planner that you recommend? I had one, but unfortunately she had to get a hysterectomy, so she's not going to be able to do it anymore. So I'm actually looking for a new wedding planner as well. Yes, we do. You have something that you recommend. What I want is, you know, I want it very elegant. You know, I don't want to walk in and, you know, all the tables have like a bowl of fruit on them or something. I want something a lot more elegant than that. Certainly. Okay. So this person that you recommend, I mean, they're going to do a good job. I'm not going to have to give them a wedgie or anything after the thing's over, right? Oh, no, no. Chimichanga. Yeah, we're very, very polished, very professional. We do just about everything for the special day. So, yeah, absolutely. Excellent. My wife's actually a Latino, so I'm actually going to need somebody that can make some authentic Mexican food, like chimichangas and enchiladas and things like that.
Fish net pantyhose. That sounds great. Uh-huh. Okay. Well, I'm going to, yeah, so I'm going to need the wedding planner. I'm going to need somebody that can handle food. I'm going to need somebody that can handle, you know, things like the displays on the tables. I really need, you know, the whole, I need to run the whole gamut here. Good. Well, we're more than happy to know. Fish net pantyhose. Make an appointment with us and we can get you all set up? Yeah, I would. And like I said, I can't stress enough. You know, I need it to be classy. You know, no bridesmaids and fishnet pantyhose or anything like that. I mean, I need something really, really classy and elegant. Hammerhead. Yeah, absolutely. Well, we are dedicated to doing that. That sounds great. Okay. And I'm going to need, as far as the food goes, like I told you, on her side, it's going to be more of like a Latino flair. On my side, I'd really, you know, my family's really into seafood, so I'd love like a hammerhead shark, filet, you know, swordfish, something like that. Okay. Woody the Woodpecker. All right, good. So some kind of Latino but seafood sort of. Yeah, yeah. Seafood on mine, Latino, you know, stylings on hers would be great. Yeah. Okay. Well, like I said, my name is Steve Woods. My friends call me Woody the Woodpecker.
What I'll do is I saw your website. I'm going to shoot you over an email, and I'll book something with you guys soon. I've got a few more places I need to call. That sounds great, Steve. We're really looking forward to helping you. Thank you so much. I know it's a lot to ask, but I feel good about you guys. I think it's going to be great. Excellent. Thank you so much. Okay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Oh, my God. My friends call me Woody the Woodpecker. What are you going to do? That worked perfectly. It did work perfectly. Really? Really? Do I have a hammerhead shark for your side of the family? Hammerhead shark filet. Hammerhead shark filet, maybe some swordfish. Delicious. I almost lost it. I'm not going to have to give him a wedgie. Oh, my God. Fantastic. Wow. Oh, the incorporator. Get you. I get you every time. Here he comes. Oh. Gross. Well, she's Latina. He said, my wife is Latino. And then you said, it's 11. My wife is Latina, so, you know, we'd like to have some chimichangas at the wedding. Real classy. Yeah, we want it classy. So.
Can you bring out, first bring out the chimichangas, then bring out the hammerhead shark. I'd like him to come in courses. We can do that. Oh my gosh. I want him to come in courses. Poor lady. If that would have been me that he called, I'd be like, hammerhead shark, sir. Sir, I don't think so. Do you realize it's an endangered species? Yeah. I'm sorry, sir. We can't serve an endangered species. Yeah. We can't serve bald eagle at your wedding. No, no, no. I just want the eggs. I just want bald eagle scrambles. Either one. Just the blubber. Just like little blubber martinis. Ew, ew, ew. Miley Cyrus was on, like, it really caused a stir. I don't know why, Mike. She taught people how to sing on... American Idol last night? No. She mentored. Yeah, it's the same thing. Nine-year-old mentor. She coached. She was 17. Macaulay Culkin teaching people how to act. Some kid, 16. Hey, Mike, let me show you how to do radio, pal. She has just as much experience as her dad. She has more experience than her dad. She has about nine more hits than her dad. So what's the problem? Well, a lot of people were not happy about her mentoring, but even the producers of Idol had her back. They were like, look.
She's experienced beyond her years. And all they do is they don't, you know, she just, what's happening? Mike's pulling out his wallet. I got a $10 bill. It will go to Steven Woods. Or if I play this clip of Miley Cyrus and he remains expressionless. Well, now he's going to do it because. Hold on. No, I know him. He will laugh. He'll get a stupid look on that face. He'll get a smile. I can't even replicate it. Do the elephant laugh. How are you going to help the contestants, Miley? I love being a mentor on American Idol. You're done. You're done. You're done. I can't do it. You can't do it. Do I sound like her? I told you guys yesterday people said I sound like her. Let's hear it again. She kind of does. Sienna kind of does sound like Miley. Woods just laughed at the sound of her voice. I'm a cloud. You couldn't do it.
I'm here to tell them what they can work on, but I'm not here to tell them they're doing bad or whatever. They obviously wouldn't be here. Scratchy. No. Scratchy voice. It's... Can I ask a question? I'm a gruff, the crime dog. I'm a gruff, the crime dog. Arr. That was mean. I think she did a good job. I watched it. You do? She did good? Yeah. Did they let her sing? No, she sings tonight. She sings our favorite song, Mike. I'm waiting with bated breath. Mike's going to cry. Let's not bring that up anymore. When I look at you? Uh-uh. What? Unnecessary. I listened to it three times on repeat when I drove to work this morning. I listened to it twice this morning. It inspires me. It inspires me. What did Mikey just share? Like a man moment look it looks like. It wasn't a man moment. It was a man. I'm disgusted right now. It was a man fairy look. Disgusted. He gave me that look that goes, really? Come on, pal. You're better than this. Hey, man, can you do me a favor? Just with the Miley stuff? I don't know. I'd avoid that. Getting killed on the boards, pal. As usual. Every man in their car right now is turning down. Hey, listen. The heart wants what the heart wants. Exactly. I agree. I was trying to explain it to my wife yesterday. Does she like the song?
She loves it. There is no guarantee. Here it comes. This is the best part. It's the greatest chorus ever. It's scarce. One summer. You guys, if she was on American Idol, she could win. No way. She has a good voice. She does. You guys just don't like who she is. See, it's very popular and very, like, hip to say she can't sing. She's out of her range in this song. Listen to her. I am. I think she's doing great. Not only is she not out of her range, she's been auto-tuned, so she's perfectly in pitch. And she's 17. I mean, that's like a junior in high school. See, people are... I've got no problems with Taylor Swift. People are annoyed with her. And that's why they go, oh, she can't sing. Taylor Swift doesn't bother me either. She writes all her own stuff. She plays instruments. Taylor Swift is like a Barbie. She's like, I don't do anything wrong. I've never kissed a boy. She's never said that. She has. She sings better than Miley Cyrus. Which isn't saying much. I never drank, never smoked. What's the deal with the backlash? Why is she getting backlash? Just because.
She's not. She's fine. I think once everyone saw how amazing she was, they cooled off. But when they found out that she was going to be mentored, they're like, what is she? You know, nine. Yeah. What's the over under for when her true Hollywood story is going to come out? Stop it. I say 2012. I'll take the under. I'm rude for her. People thought she was never going to survive when she was on the cover of Vanity Fair in that like sheet. Hello. Look at her now. Jay. Yes. We're calling the girl. Yes. From yesterday? Yes, indeed. What's her name? M1 Masters is all I have from her. All right. Yesterday, we talked to a girl that bought her boyfriend tickets to the Masters. They were $200. Then Tiger announced he was coming back. Now they're worth $2,000. He said he'd like to sell them. And she was kind of hurt by it. We were discussing it yesterday, so we will talk to her. Coming up. I make no apologies for picking this song. Smiling? No. Michelle Branch. Michelle Branch. I make no apologies. Are you alright with Michelle Branch? She's okay. This is fantastic. Really? She's okay. I thought you were going to slaughter me. She was in the Wreckers. What is that? The Wreckers was her and a couple other girls. They're pretty good. Two girls. Two girls. They're good. The Wreckers. That doesn't sound like her. She's crazy. Irresistible. Are you out, Pepper? No.
I like some Michelle Branch songs. You do? I don't like this one. How did I escape your rap? You're actually tapping your fingers right now. I am. Uncontrollable. You can't even help it. You're tapping. You're enjoying. You're in the process of enjoying a song that I picked. Oh, she likes it. She's saying she doesn't like it, but she's irresistibly tapping her fingers. I have an image of you skating down the boardwalk, Mikey, with your rollerblades on, and you're just dancing. Just a headband. Shirtless with a headband. That's right. That's it. Imitating his moves. And then I turn around and I backwards skate. Why wouldn't you? With my welcoming on. That's right. Not an iPod. A walk. Okay. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to take a quick time out. Come back. We're going to get her on the phone. A lot of ladies off. Bad. What I've got to tell you. Sitting next to your wife. She's going to get irritated when she hears this. Ladies, you need to be exercising 60 minutes a day.
Want to know more? Because this is just on CNN. This was just on CNN. I'll tell you about it next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, this Thursday night, you can go see Devendra Banhart. He'll play the Belly Up and airs in town at 4th and B this Saturday night. And did you hear? Just announced Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. They're going to play a show at the Belly Up Thursday, April 15th. Tickets to see Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros go on sale this Friday at noon. So there you have it. Get out there and take that out.
The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. There's only one highest mountain. There's only one fastest man in the world. And there's only one ultimate driving machine. That's BMW. And here's a one-of-a-kind chance to get behind the wheel of an ultimate driving machine at the BMW Spring Sales Drive. Take advantage of special limited-time offers on an impressive selection of 2010 BMWs, including a spring drive credit of up to $2,500 on select models. And remember, every new BMW includes no-cost maintenance standard. It can save you thousands in service costs over other brands. There's only one ultimate driving machine, and there's only one BMW spring sales drive. So make time for joy and hurry in today. For the spring drive credit offer and ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4BMW. Hurry into the BMW spring sales drive and receive a spring drive credit of up to $2,500. Visit your local BMW center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Check engine. So many things can go wrong with your car. That's why Pep Boys invented one place that can make them all right.
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Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Lexus Escondido. Discover luxury at a whole new level. Lexus Escondido. Enjoy gourmet coffees, massage chairs, or relax with a golf simulator. Lexus Escondido, just west of Interstate 15 at the 9th Avenue exit. Lakeside 67 northbound before Riverford Road. Injury crash with two cars, one rolled over. Both are on the shoulder. Ambulance, of course, heading to the scene, but traffic sluggish passing it. Traffic also brought to you by Sears Auto Centers. Visit the Sears Automotive Center for the best price on all your car needs. any competitor's offer, and Sears will match it guaranteed. Visit SearsAuto.com for more great offers. Sears, life well spent. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. That's weird. I don't know that I've ever heard that STP song, but you haven't because they were called talk show. Welcome back to Mikey Show. I'm picking the music today, and this is... It's all the members of Stone Temple Pilots except for Scott Weiland. They had a little side project they called Talk Show while Scott was doing his thing. Is that what we call it? That's what we call it. Hey, ladies. Yeah. Big thing came out in the news today. It says that you need to be exercising 60 minutes a day. I need to hear why. Why, Sienna? I'll tell you why. It's being published by the Journal of American Medical Association.
tested over 34 000 women in a 13 year period um and these are middle-aged women just tracking you know they're working out you know how much they need to work out to lose a certain amount of poundage and they found out that women need to exercise 60 minutes a day this is every single day weekends too and but they do say that you can work out 30 minutes a day if you're doing like intense workouts like running swimming you know cycling Doing stuff at the gym, but if you're just going to go for a leisurely walk, bike ride, play catch, 60 minutes. Check. Check. Uncheck. Uncheck. Uncheck. I do the leisurely walks. Rock climbing. Check. Skydiving. Check. Scaling the side of a mountain. Base jumping. Check. Running a marathon in my bra and panties. Check. Check. That's in your mind. Yes, our mind. We have M1 Masters Girl on the line. M1 Masters Girl, hello. Hey, how are you guys doing? Good. We got your email. And just to let people know that are maybe just tuning in, Masters Girl sent us an email and said that she...
is dating a guy who is a big time golf fanatic. And for his birthday, a couple months back or whatever, she got him tickets to the Masters. They were 200 bucks at the time for the badges. It's like the badges, right? Yeah. And now that Tiger's in the Masters, they're going for two grand. And your boyfriend said that he wanted to sell them. That's right. So when you gave them to him, there was no Tiger involved and he was really stoked. Yeah. And then when he found out about Tiger, he looked on the Internet, found out how much they're going for you. And how did he bring it up to you? Like, how did he say it? We're both salaried employees, but money is a little tight. You know, we recently have bought new cars and stuff like that. But he just brought it up like from the financial standpoint. You know, this gift means a lot to me. But, you know. Can you really, you know, like, can you really turn down the $2,000 that we could get for these? You know, he just thinks that it would be financially a better idea for us to get the money and pocket it and put it in the bank. And I don't know. It's like the best gifts I've ever given him. And it's something I was really excited and proud about. So it's upsetting that he wants to sell them. Now, we talked about this.
At length yesterday, my opinion was I thought it was a bad idea for him to ever even bring it up. Yeah. I didn't think he should ever even have brought it up because of the chances of it hurting you, which it did. And so but other people felt differently about it. Jay thought it was kind of crazy that. Somebody wouldn't take that opportunity. Yeah, I mean, I just think that I would rather take you to Hawaii for seven days. I would sell the trip, and then we would load up and just go for a big trip that would entail more than just a golf experience for two days. And in defense of Jay... What if you had the opportunity to go see your favorite band? It's about the experience, and that's why I wanted to give him that experience. Well, yeah. In defense of Jay, though... It's also, you've got to think about it like it is his gift. It is his gift, but also he's not saying, hey, babe, let's pack it up and let's take it to Hawaii. He's saying, let's put it in the bank. Yeah, let's pay some bills. It's a little different. Let's pay some bills. Yeah.
Maybe I'll just give you two grand for your birthday next time. That's ridiculous. Maybe I just fill out a deposit slip. Yeah, I'll give you a deposit slip. You put the number in and put it in the bank. How exciting is that? He just got the dream gift. The guy loves golf, and you gave him tickets to this, and he's going to be like, nah, I don't really want to go see Tiger. Hey, Mikey. I asked Cassidy, our M1 Masters girl, if we could call her boyfriend, and I've got him on the phone. Yeah! Yeah, dude. Well done, Jay. Which line? I think it's 11. Is this... Yeah. Is this John? Let me see. John, is this you? Yeah, hello. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. There is mixed opinion about what's going on with you and your girlfriend, Cassidy. Now, on one hand... There are people that say it's your gift and you can do with it what you want. And then there's another school of thought that says how incredibly hurtful to take such a sentimental gift and suggest that you sell it or put it in the bank, that you sell the gift and put the money in the bank. As Woodsy said, you're not even using it for the two of you. You're simply storing it away. And so.
John, in your own words, what's up? Okay, appreciative, and it is such a thoughtful, nice gift that she gave me, and I'm so thankful for it. And it is the thought that counts, and I appreciate it. But, I mean, a couple things. One, with this economy and the way everything's going, I mean, $2,000 is a lot of money, and we could pay off some of our cars, our new cars. We could pay off some of our debt. And, I mean, literally, you know, they're going to be broadcasting in 3D, and I'm going to have much more comfort in the luxury of my own home. And having that money in the bank is going to be a security blanket for us. And, you know, we can do something else with it. I don't know, you know, what. But I just – I don't think it's the smartest financial. And, you know, as a couple, I don't think it's the best decision for us to just, you know, go. And, you know, with all the Tiger stuff, it's just going to be maddening. And I'm not really –
After what he did, I'm not really into it as much. What a good guy, John. Great guy. What a good guy. After all, Tiger, I like that card. That's a very particular card to play. You know, after hearing what Tiger did, I just don't know that I could bring myself to go to the Masters. I'm appalled. I'm appalled. He kind of just, like, won me over a little bit. To be in the gallery. Yeah. Really? You bought that? Well, no. Now I'm just thinking, okay, well, it is his gift. And I knew that all along. But I'm thinking, okay, if he's not even in the right frame of mind to go, then why force it? Just keep the money if he doesn't even, it's like he doesn't even want to go. Pepper? Answer me this, John. You are a golf fan, even if you're not a Tiger fan, right? I am. I'm a golf fanatic. Okay. Okay. So let's just say you're on your deathbed. Are you going to have your clean credit card bills, your car, your fancy new TV? Is that going to be on your deathbed with you, or is it going to be your memories and your experiences? That's a good point. I think that... Oh, the prosecution rests. No further witnesses. Yeah, no further questions. Maybe he needs the money. I think I'll live longer with the less money stress.
I might not be on my deathbed as soon. Cassidy? Yeah. Tell us how you feel. You know, like golf is his thing. And, you know, ever since we've been together, I've learned to love it because, you know, I want to be that girlfriend that, you know, takes interest in what he likes. And I've actually learned to love it. So I feel like. You know, we haven't gone on any big trips together, and this would be something that we could do together and enjoy. It's something I thought a lot about, and it's not like a gift that I just ran out to the mall and picked up. It's not like I bought him a sweater, and he's wanting to exchange it for a different color. For me, it's like I want us to have this experience together, the memories, the pictures. Like, this is something that, you know, when I bought it. When she just said that right now, when she just said the memories and the pictures. I got a visual in my head of them standing on these pristine greens, just beautiful greens. And maybe the two of them are wearing like visors and they got on the polos. And they're standing out there looking really great on the greens. And in the background, you see the gallery. You see they got their big laminates on of their badges, you know. And then I pictured a deposit slip. Yep.
made out in the amount of $2,000. Maybe he really needs the money, though. I mean, like, you have to think of it like that. He doesn't need it that bad, guys. He's just, he's a little bit stingy. He's one of those guys. You know he's on the phone right now, right? No, no, no. He will admit that. Like, that's the thing. It's like, I'm a little bit looser with my money. Oh. Yeah. I don't mean stinting about it. He's a little bit, like, tight with his money. Yeah, he's tight. That's a smart thing. That's something that I admire about him. And we opposites definitely attract in that respect. So he's great at helping us budget. But I feel like it's my money. I chose to spend it. Like, let's go do this together. You know, something I never thought he would want to get rid of when I gave it to him. It was not even a doubt in my mind. And here's the thing. She got the Cadillac of gifts. So if he, John, if you turn her down on this gift, you better kiss any gifts. Goodbye. Because she's going to be hard second guessing. How motivated is she? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let me get you something so you can return it, cheapo. Sorry, John. Okay. Let the man speak in his defeat. I agree. I'm a cheap bastard. Hey, John. Yeah. Hey, John, this is Woods here. I want to paint you just a small picture. I've been quiet through the whole thing because I just wanted to listen in here. And I appreciate that. You had no idea. I wanted to hear.
I wanted to hear both sides. First of all, let me tell you, your girlfriend is amazing. Absolutely amazing that she would go really above and beyond. This is not a set of golf clubs. This is above and beyond. Now, when I was younger, my dad came to the table with two World Series tickets, and we're both big Yankee fans. And we went to that game, and I talked to my dad about this yesterday. And he goes, yeah, Stephen, I wouldn't trade that night with you. at Yankee Stadium to watch our team win a World Series, I wouldn't trade it for a million dollars. And I said the exact same thing because you know what? There's a picture of me with my arm around my dad and in the back it says Yankees win, Yankees win. And we got our arms on each other. You should see the smiles on our face. See how the framed was? It is framed. I will never cherish it. Forget it. Your kids will probably own that picture. Oh, yeah. My kids will have that picture. Sure. So I should wait to go to the Masters when I have a kid? No, no, absolutely not. You need to go with the woman. This is the big one. You need to go with your woman. John, let me ask you. When I was describing that photograph of you and Cassidy on those beautiful pristine greens with the visor and the polo and the smiles and the laminates, like, what happened inside you when I did that? I thought it was supposed to rain. I think it might rain. Oh, John.
That's my dad, dude. That would be my dad. He reminds me kind of of my husband when we had two choices of places to stay for our honeymoon. A really, really nice place or a place that just, you know, a lot cheaper. And I, of course, was pushing the really, really nice place. The second we got there, and in the meantime, Todd's like, this is ridiculous. We could be spending that money. We need that money for other stuff. We just got married. There's bills. When he walked in that hotel and he saw how beautiful it was and the occasion and both of us together on this honeymoon that is wonderful. in a lifetime thing. He was like, totally worth it. I'm sorry I gave you a hard time. Sold. John, the moment you smelled that grass. Oh, yeah. The moment you heard the first set of... Ladies and gentlemen, on the tee from Stanford, California, Tiger Woods. Boo. Hey, I'll tell you. You want to be there for that. You want to be able to tell your kids you saw that, dude. Are you kidding? That would be amazing. John, you need a new cell phone. You're right. Sell the thing. No. Let's see. M1 Pete, are you there? Yep. Say. Yep. For sure. Absolutely. There's no amount of money that you can pay for that memory.
You know what I mean? You'll never take it away from me. Yeah. Come on. Oh, my goodness. I'm with you. M1 Ryan. Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. There is no way you can't go. See? I've been to the Masters a few times. Even if you hate golf, every blade of grass is perfect on that course. It's unbelievable to see. My dad went and he goes. He would get up at 4 in the morning and he would walk the course as much as they would let him. He goes, Stephen, you don't understand. There's not a cigarette butt. There's not a leaf out of place. He goes, you have to see it to believe it. I'd like to. I mean, I'm not even a big golf fan. John, like, I'm blown away. But then there's also, I mean, all we're focusing on is the actual event. What we're not focusing on is Cassidy. Well, no, Cassidy's feelings. I was talking about that. You were? Well, kind of. Yeah. I mean, she went out of her way to do something kind. Yes, the Cadillac of gifts.
Go ahead. She was able to finagle the tickets for a lot cheaper. And, I mean, she did a lot. Oh, really? Finagle the tickets for a lot cheaper? Which, as El Cheapo, you should like. Absolutely. I was impressed. I was very impressed. She didn't spend two grand on the tickets. She spent, what, $200? $200. It's not like you're throwing money away. I mean, I also want to kind of picture this. Cassidy gives him the badges for the Masters. And at some point, John had to have the rocks to go on the Internet and go to StubHub.com. You know what? I don't think it was rocks for John. I mean, he is standing firm still. He saw dollar signs. Even with all this badgering of the witness, he's still standing firm. Yeah, he's not. My eBay is all set up to go. I'm just waiting. Oh, John. John. Go to the freaking masters, dude. You're going to get a Dear John letter from Cassidy. Women will... I mean, as he was talking right there, I was like... You're dead. Women will stay. Well, and I'm not suggesting that she break up with them or anything.
I'm just saying that women put, like, listen to her. She's just quiet. Yeah. He's like, eBay's waiting. When do you get home and you get shanked? No, she knows who she's with. She does. She called him stingy and she knew it would be cool. And they're laughing about it. Yeah, but he knows who he's with and an elephant never forgets. We let things go. And I am the queen of it. Like, he's not going to hear the end of it. Is he really going to turn down this gift? Because what am I ever going to be able to get him ever again for the rest of the time that we're together that's ever going to be this good? Nothing. You've gotten it. This is the best. You already did it. You outdid yourself. M1Nate, you there? Yeah, what's happening? Not too much. Go ahead. Yeah, I'm just calling to let this guy John know he needs to pull his head out of his tiny hole because he could possibly be blowing a great thing with his chick. Yes. And he's missing out on a phenomenal golf experience. Wait a minute. Phenomenal? Hang on a minute. Go ahead. I agree with you. Listen, what would, I mean, Nate, what would you do if you were with a girl? She gave you tickets to the Met. Would you be online looking how much it cost?
Not if I was as big into golf as this guy claims to be. I would be all about the experience, especially with Tiger Woods returning to golf at this stage in his life and could potentially be the best golfer ever. If you're going to miss out on that, to say that you were there when he returned to golf, come on. You know what I would do? If Jamie said to me, if the Yanks make the World Series again, which they probably will, if Jamie said... I've got World Series tickets. You know what I would do? I would go on StubHub and be like, tickets you bought here are worth five grand. Yeah. And guess what? I get to be there. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Be calling all your friends. Oh, yeah. John, John, in all seriousness, are you going to eBay or are you going to Craigslist or how are you going to do it? Or are you going to do it? And are you going to do it? OK, listen, out of all the guilt. that I feel now. I'm making my decision. This is for Cassidy. This is because I love her and I appreciate and even the effort to go this far on the radio and stuff. Baby, we will go. Very nice. Smart move, pal. That's a very smart move. And you know what? You're going to have a really great time, dude. You're going to have a really... I'm pricelining the hotel, though.
There you go, fine. Yeah, there you go. Stay at Motel 6. That's right. Stay in a tent, Cassidy. We're camping. That's right. Sounds like fun. That's my honey, probably finding the hotel. But, you know, John, you better go. You better have fun. This is going to be worth it. You guys have a blast. Hey, you guys send us pictures, and we'll put them on the website, all right? Yes. Yeah. Right on. All right, hang in the line. That's awesome. That's John and Masters Girl. That's cool. What do you mean while you're there? I don't know. I don't know. Wow. The guy smartened up real good. That's right. Oh, yeah, this is real good right here. This one's going out to Cassidy and John. Some real country music since they're going all the way out to Augusta, Georgia. That's like honey through my ears, dude. It is like honey. Oh, this is the old stuff, dude. That's the real stuff. The real stuff. All right, when we come back.
Oh, yeah. Went half crazy down and down. When we come back, we're going to have this very interesting conversation about what my wife found in the bathroom and was a little confused about. What's next? Oh, dear. Kept some letters by his baby. And in 1962, he had underlined in red. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Signs that say this is not an exit don't apply to him. Two cents have overruled Supreme Court decisions. If he rode in your car, its resale value would instantly increase. He likes the word fog. Were you to pass him on the street and he didn't see you, you would still feel like he said hello and asked you about your day. If you were stuck in an elevator with him,
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FM 94.9. Now, back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. And so it is just like you said it would be. Life goes easy on me. Most of the time. There's a part in this recording where you actually hear his breath. Hitch, where he's like, he's upset. I think one of these guys shows. He's got a chick on stage playing the cello. She's amazing. So did you know that there is, and we're going to tell you what my wife found in the bathroom that she wanted to know about the other day.
But did you know, yeah? Your mic sounds weird, dude. It does. Yeah, it's like echoey. You sound like you have laryngitis. It sounds like you're talking in a tin can. I was talking on the wrong side of it. Much better. I was like, is it my headphones? Well, I dropped it. I dropped it. Oh, I shouldn't say that. The engineers are like, you what? You did what? I dropped it. Oh, no. And Jay had to come in here and fix it. He heard a loud bang. I know. He comes in here and goes, what was that loud noise? Hoyle will be running down here before you know it. I know it. Just destroying the studio. I want to know what the heck happened. And Jay had to come in here and fix the microphone. Weird. Do you need me to flip it real quick? Yeah. Yeah, flip this house. What? What? Flip this house? Yeah. You've never heard of that show? Mm-mm. Flip this house? Yeah, I'll turn it off. So anyway, I'll just do this. That's great. Talk without a mic. That's real good going there, Mikey. Oh, great. See what you did? Knew Hoyle would come in. Great job, buddy. People love dead air, Hoyle. Oh, yeah, it's great. Anything else you want to drop? Like the ratings? Well, that ain't funny. The ratings. The ratings. The ratings. Is that better? Yeah. It's much better.
I'm glad you guys said something. I was like, what's wrong with my headphones? Yeah, you thought you were underwater. I was about to throw my second pair of headphones away in the last two days. You're putting those suckers away nice and good now, Woodsy? Probably not. Be gentle. Be gentle with your headphones. Poor guy. Doesn't know how to work his headphones. Nope. Really not that hard. If you're a stressed out person, it kills her every time. I don't think you've ever said that and Pepper just doesn't kill her. That was a good one. That was an exceptionally good laugh. With children, hello. Man child. Eight foods you can eat that will not stress you, that will help you to not be so stressed. Reduce your stress. Cheesecake. No, but there's some good stuff on here. Barley, banana leaves, oak, moss. Oh, that's what I brought for lunch. Yeah. One of the things. Sticks. Branches. Kindling.
Charcoal. Oats and grass. Oats and grass. Charcoal. Lauren, I think, has one of the things today packed. Blueberries. Blueberries. I've heard that blueberries are the world's most perfect food. Yeah, a lot of antioxidants. Uh-huh. The antioxidants counteract the effects of stress hormones. You know what's so ridiculous, Sienna? What? Everybody that talks about the antioxidants and something, none of us know what an antioxidant is. But it sounds so good. Healthy. This has got antioxidants. I don't want any oxidants in me. No, too much oxygen in your system can aid you. Is that what antioxidants do? That's exactly what they do. Really? You know what? She has no clue. I've really tried to get on the blueberry train. I know they're good, but like. There's some that are really good and sour, but most of them are like soft and blah. I'm going to get some in my pink berry today. Let me ask you a question, Sienna. What? Do you think that the musician Keith Richards eats a lot of blueberries? No, and he's a thousand years old. He's a dinosaur, okay? That guy rode on a stegosaurus. And he's the walking picture of hell. But he eats speedballs for breakfast. He eats speedballs for breakfast. He's 80.
thousand years old. He's old. I bet that dude hasn't seen a blueberry since 1920. No question. He doesn't care. He doesn't care about the next one, spinach. Yes. Spinach reduces stress. It said that the magnesium, which you'll find in the leafy greens, improves your body's response to stress. Who cares about spinach? Who? Popeye. Yeah, that's it. Besides Popeye. Nobody. That's what my stepdaughter calls my dad, Popeye. Really? I love me some spinach. I don't like cooked spinach, but I love those spinach salads. Oh, see, I'm the opposite. Really? I like steamed spinach. Oh, barf. It's all stringy. It's all stringy. Reminds me of middle school. Reminds me of middle school when they'd use the ice cream scooper to give you spinach on your plate. Gross. Oh, that's filthy. The only time I'll eat spinach is if it's in artichoke dip. Oh, that's good. Oh, yeah. If it's surrounded by fattening cheese in a gooey lava. Overrated. Yes. Spinach artichoke dip? Yes. Overrated. Get out of my face. In a bread bowl. Are you out of your mind? No, I'm not.
You don't like spinach and artichoke dip in a bread bowl? Disgusting. Oh! Dude. That's painful. Dude, you take the bread and you pull it and then you twist it in there and you pull it up and it's all cheesy and you wrap it around the bread and you put it in your mouth all hot. Repugnant. Oh, I could go for some right now. I once had jalapeno artichoke. That is good. So Woods, you're telling me that you don't even like it at all? No. I'll do a tiny little corner of it because I don't want to look like an idiot. But I hate spinach and artichokes. So why would I like them combined? Because they're delicious when surrounded by fattening cheese. And bread. You know what my dad would do? What? Put minuto in it. At Tabasco. Tapatio. Cut up habaneros. I don't know. Chalula. Mikey, how do you say it in Mexican? Oil. It's not. It's in Spanish, you dummy. It's so ridiculous. Stop with the Mexican. My dad would chop up. He would chop bacon up into little bits. And he would chop up onion. And he would stir in spinach. Gross. Oh, it was delicious. Bacon and onion and spinach all sauteed together. Oh, sauteed. Yeah. Side dish. Awesome. What else is...
Make, reduce your stress. Sunflower seeds. Delicious. Good source of folate, whatever that means. Oh. It helps your body produce a pleasure, excuse me, a pleasure-inducing brain chemical called dopamine. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know dopamine. I know dopamine. It's a clothing company or something. Dopamine. We know dopamine. Walnuts. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Don't worry about me. Walnuts lower your bread pressure. Your bread. Bread pressure. I'm still thinking about the spinach. That's your problem, dude. Your freaking spaghetti pressure and your bread pressure is too high. That's awesome. Gotta lower your lasagna pressure, bro. Through the roof. I want the spinach. Your blood pressure is lasagna over cornbread. They look at your blood pressure and they see a picture of a baked lasagna. Easy. Garfield. Take it easy, Garfield. Walnuts help lower blood pressure. Salmon. Gross. Help lowers the stress. Cook salmon's okay. It's fishy. I don't think it's very fishy. It's weird because it's a fish. That's the only one I will eat is because I think it has a little amount of fish. Really, Seinfeld? Are you going to get me with that? That's so weird.
What's the deal? What's the deal? What's the deal with salmon? Oatmeal. It's a little fishy, but it's a fish. Oatmeal is delicious. Oatmeal lowers your stress. Yes. Skim milk. That's what the kid drinks. And the number one, which is the one that I'm on board with. Why don't you just take a gallon of water, one eye drop of whole milk in it, not skim milk. It's gross. It's water with... white food dye. That's milk flavored water. I can't drink whole milk. If I drink whole milk, it tastes like a butter shake. It does. That's why it's so good. That's why it's so yummy. Butter shake. Did you hear how I said that by the way? It's why it's so yummy. I love whole milk. I go 1%. I can't do this. I go zero percent. What else? You don't even have milk, Woods. The last thing on the list that reduces stress is dark chocolate. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. High in flavonoids. Don't you know. Don't you know. It's weird because chicks have a thing with chocolate that guys don't have. You know, it's funny, though. Pepper called me yesterday and she goes, what are you doing? And I go, I just got back from 7-Eleven. And she goes, why? I go.
I had to get a chocolate bar. I had a headache. He goes, you know that. You know that. A chocolate bar and a Coca-Cola. And a Coke. Because I had a headache. I needed some caffeine. Yeah. It was 6.30 at night. Oh, Woodsy. What? I had a headache. Dude. You were already in dreamland. No, no, no. Last night, I was up really late, right? What, 7? 7.30. Like, I mean, it was like midnight for me. And I call him, and the kid's making pork chops. It's 7.30 at night. He's frying up a pork chop at 7.30. What's wrong with that? I call him. It's so late, man. I call him at 7.30. I go, what are you doing? He goes, kid's frying up a pork chop. That's why he got off the phone with me. He goes, all right, I got to go. It's a pork chop. Weird. You have to keep in mind that when he gets home from work, he sleeps for hours. None of us do that. You got to stop doing that. No, I don't. Go for a swim in the ocean or something. Am I here on time? Yeah. Am I prepared? Yeah. Don't worry about it. Every once in a while, this is a kid. Mic off. Hey, that's everybody on this show, my friend. We wake up very early. I'm a napper. I love to nap now. Right there. Yeah, right? I'm a napper. I love pork chops. So my wife says to me yesterday, this is how my wife will communicate. She'll be on her laptop. I'll be on my laptop right next door. Nude.
Me, not her. She's civilized. She's refined. She's refined. Classy. She goes, babe, why was there toothpaste in the bathroom closet? We call our bathroom the bathroom closet because it's one of those, it's a toilet that's in a tiny little locker. Toilet and a door. Is there a window in there? It's a toilet and a door. Yeah, there is. There's a window. Thank the Lord. But there's a fan. There's a... Plus, I use those drops that I gave to Jay. Those drops are phenomenal. They really do work. They do? You tried them? I was in my friend's. I don't want to know. I was in my friend's bathroom just fooling around. Sure you were. Filing papers. No, I was. No, she was. We were house-sitting, and I was like, what's all this? Yeah. And you tried it? Rifling through the medicine cabinet. And it worked, right? Yeah. It works. Well, did you hear her? In fact, they've improved it. They've improved it. We were talking about that the other day, and she's like, randomly, didn't you guys ever go through people's medicine cabinets? And we're like, no. Why not? And she just admitted to us. Why not? Come on. Wow. You know that. You go through people's medicine cabinets. You know that. She's not going to need these Percocets, that's for sure. No, there's little drops, and you get them at, you could find them, well, where I get them.
Online. Is online at groominglounge.com. Greatest website ever. It's a dude website. It's a dude website. It's a dude website for dudes that think they're chicks, like me and Mike. Yep. It's phenomenal. 100%. So what did she find? She found toothpaste. Brush your teeth? You killed two birds. Yeah, you killed two birds. No, I was not. What were you doing? I was reading it. Reading the toothpaste? I was reading the tube. Why? Because there was nothing to read. And I have to read. You should grab a magazine. While I'm filing papers. Because it would have taken more effort than I was willing to exert. And I knew that it was going to be a quickie. And so I just needed. You have to. Guys are weird. You have to read something? Yeah. All the time. I can't sit there and just. I don't think it's possible for guys to go in and just do a quickie either. They're there for half an hour. 30 minutes. What goes on in there? I was in a hurry. Wouldn't you like to know? I was in a hurry. So you needed to read the toothpaste. But I'll read, you know, I'll look at it, I'll be like, oh, red number five. Of course. Fluorid trimaden. Fluoride. Just as I suspected. Ah, yes. Ah, yes. Red number five. Fluoridine. Fluoride. Powdered Coke. Flavors. Powdered Coca-Cola. Yeah, but I have to read some. You do too, right? Oh, dude, my bathroom is like...
stacked with magazines and books. What do you read in there? I read... Anything? Currently, I'm reading... It's really weird, but I'm weird with the stuff I read. I'm reading Marilyn Manson's biography. And wait... It's fascinating. You only read it on the toilet? Yeah. It's in the... I've never read it in bed. It's in the... Yeah, you have to designate it. How long will it take you? A couple weeks. A week. You are a good reader, dude. I'm a real good reader. You file papers a lot. How many pages do you get through? Here's the deal. I'll go in there and read it even if I don't have to file papers. How weird is that? Oh, my. And I'll sit and read. Actually, here's weird, and then here's that way. It's very relaxing. It's very relaxing. And I love to read. Like, you just sit on the toilet? Yeah. I just want to make sure I never borrow a book from you. Yeah, for sure. Look at my fingers turning the pages. With your trousers on? No, not with my trousers on. So you'll drop trow even if you're not going to file papers? Yeah, just in case. What? J-I-C, dude. Oh, my gosh. What? Just in case. Is that weird? Sometimes if you just hang out, though, like you never know. Well, here's the deal. Here's the deal. I don't have any furniture, right? You're an amazing person. Here's the deal. If I'm in my bedroom, I'm going to watch the TV or I'm going to be on my laptop. So if I go in there and I shut the door and I put the light on and the fan. You shut the door? Yeah, I shut the door. I live by myself. I need some privacy. I need privacy. So I sit there and I read and maybe something matriculates. Maybe it doesn't.
Matriculate. That's my favorite thing you've ever said. What are you reading? War and Peace? Maybe something matriculates. That's probably the wrong word. Maybe something percolates. No, I want matriculates. I want matriculates. Maybe something happens. Maybe it doesn't. But you know what? If it does, I'm in the right place. But you guys, can you not go if you don't have something to read? Really uncomfortable. I used to at work. And this is, I can't believe I'm saying this right now. You used to what? When I had to file papers and I worked in an office and there were a lot of good-looking girls that we worked with and everybody was there and my buddies were there. I would take a magazine. I'd pull up my pants leg. I would tuck it in my sock and pull my pants leg over it and I would limp to the bathroom because I didn't want to walk with a magazine under my arm. Where I worked, people would. They'd have like a rolled up... newspaper and be like, well, time to file paper. See you later. It's called the out of the closet poopers. The guy just doesn't care. That's me. Mikey. That's definitely Jay. Don't you remember where we used to work before in the little single bathrooms? There'd be a newspaper lying there on the chair. You don't understand. You don't understand. Who would touch that? I would. You don't. When you walk into a bathroom, you're like, yes, CNN or the USA Today sports page. You're like.
Jackpot. It's like winning the lottery. But do you know how many other people? I just said filthy, by the way. I used to get it every time I used to read it. No. Sienna, do you know how many other people sit on that toilet that you're sitting on? Well, I have paper down. Oh, do you? I don't do the paper. Do you really? You do the paper donut? Who does it? I don't. I don't. I do the hover. Leanne's raised. Lauren's hand is raised. You do the hover? Of course. Not when you're filing papers. My thighs hurt when I do that. But I don't file papers in public, but if I did, it would be the paper donut. You have to do the paper donut. It's all... When push comes to shove, I use the paper donut. It sounds like this. You can't move and it's just defeating. You can't give the courtesy flush either. Yeah, because you might suck it down the... What? You can just keep those buns in place. Really? Yeah. Really, Suzanne Somers? You're sitting there with all five mastering, hovering above? Of course. Yeah, she's got her arms out with three pound weight. She's like... I'll do that if I'm at a disgusting gas station or something, but like... Never. Are you kidding? My legs would start quivering and shaking. You'd fall in the toilet. One hand would fall in the toilet. You have really good aim.
Like, that's difficult to do. Yeah, I guess so. I guess I'm pretty talented that way. Yeah, so I used to sneak a magazine in there. And then, you know, I'd either leave it or sneak it back to my desk. I will buy at the grocery store magazines just because I know that my husband, Todd, needs something to read in the back. So do they have to be a specific kind? Like, is there something, what's the weirdest thing you take in there? That's what I want to have. 5701949. What's the weirdest thing? Oh, you know what else I'll do? Laptop. No. Ew. No, I don't do the laptop. I have. This one? Don't do the laptop. I put it on a bar stool. Weird. I'll read the contents of my wallet. Oh, yeah. I'll organize my wallet there. It's great. It's a great place. I will, too. It's a great place to do that. I'll read the back of my driver's license, the code numbers. I'll read it in the back of insurance cards. Constitution. The Constitution. It's ridiculous. I'll ratify bills. Dude, you guys have seen the picture. I mean, I'll eat cereal on the toilet. I'm very comfortable there. You know that. I just remembered that I got some paperwork yesterday at the office. Real paperwork. No, real paperwork. You were really filing papers? No, from the HR woman. And Todd came home. And he always has to go to the bathroom once he comes home. So I said, well, will you look over this paperwork for me? And he's like, sure. Took it in the bathroom. Yeah, of course. And he looks over all my stuff for me.
Because I'm a child. You're still filling out your HR paperwork? No, no, no. I was like, oh, man. That's something else. M1 Rich? Rich, you there? Yep. Go ahead. Hey, for guys who like to read in the bathroom, there's this perfect series of books called The Bathroom Reader. And it's perfect for guys like us that have ADD because it's got a bunch of topics on different things. It's almost like the book of lists. Where do you get that? Where? I first started off getting them at Costco because Costco would have them in the paperback. It's called The Bathroom Reader. I guarantee Barnes & Noble, Borders, places like that, they have that. I'm writing it down. I'm going to buy that. Not for myself, obviously. Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. That's it. Genius. Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. See, girls, we're in and we're out. I don't want to mess around in there. Absolutely. My wife says that all the time. She's like, I do not want to spend any time in there. I love it. I spend a week in there. Absolutely. In fact, I've... told my wife, we've been at Z Gallery and I'd be like, can we shop for art for the bathroom? Yeah. Because I want to be able to relax and look at New York and black and white. You know what kills Jamie? Is I'll go in and I'll turn the shower on first and then I'll sit and file papers and I leave the shower running and it's steam and I'm like, this is so nice. I'll be in there for 45 minutes and then she'll get in the shower and she'll be like, huh.
There's no hot water in here, clown. You ran the shower for 40 minutes before you got in. Why don't you just run the cold water? I don't know. That's what I do. Why do you run it, period? I'll turn the cold water sink on. You guys. I do it because I don't want people to hear what's happening. California is in a drought, and you guys are running your filing paper waters? Really, Greeny? Yes. Go to Uncle John's. No, go to bathroomreader.com. You can see what this guy just talked about. I'm getting that. I'm going to get it. Get me one. Oh, my goodness. This is great. Does Matt read in the bathroom? Oh, yeah. Does he play guitar in the bathroom? He'll be like, got a new one, babe. No, he doesn't play guitar. I'll have a sandwich. He's like, oh, the toilet's so comfortable. I'll have a sandwich. Whatever, man. It's home. It's home, dude. I'm the most comfortable. I'm the most comfortable there. Dude, you don't blank where you blank, all right? You don't blank where you blank. Some of us have. Let me ask you this. Yeah? Because I've never been through this. I think you can say eat on the radio, by the way. You just don't. I think everybody got it when I said you don't blank where you blank. I think every human being listening right now. Which is like, no, dude, you got to say. Is there something that you would only read when you're in the bathroom? Is there something specific to? No, not for me. Jamie's grandmother calls them poop sheets, like the Inquirer and all those, and she'll buy them for the bathroom. She calls them poop sheets.
Have you ever seen the toilet paper that has words on him and stuff? You've made the toilet paper? I've seen it. That's right, Trevor. She's doing the finger and his neck. A Z-snap. I just looked at my call screener. M1 Danielle, are you there? It says, M1 Danielle, she takes forever to go. Oh, wow. How long do you spend in there? Are you like a guy? Yeah, like half an hour. What's going on in there? Woman after a man's own bathroom. California going to legalize pot? Yoo-hoo. Lauren. We disagree. Weird. Weird. Did she say woo-hoo? Yes, she did. Like Polly Pothead over there. I'll tell you the story next. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. Now you can.
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Mikey shows five people. Myself, Woodsy, Pepper O'Brien, Sienna, and our boy Jay. Trying to make me cry, dude. Trying to make me cry? It's a very, very... I had to drop my wife off at the airport. I love this song. Great. Now I'm all upset. I'm uplifted. Now I'm all upset. I'm uplifted by it. I'm broken, pal. Thanks. It's alright. Come here, dude. No, man. It's the last thing I need. Listen, you just need to just rest your head, man. You got to cry it out. You come over here and you hug me. No. Give him a hug. Frankie needs one. Dude, it's not weird for me to just hold you because you're feeling broken. It's not weird, dude. You make it weird if you make it weird. But I'm saying, I just hold you. I don't want to be held by you. I don't want to play tummy sticks with you either. Stop asking me. Belly.
Have you guys gone to MikeyShow.com and seen the video of the woman in England that was driving in her little Renault, pulled out in front of a semi, cut him off. He doesn't know she's there. He T-bones her, and he's driving down the freeway with her. And she's like, she can't get the guy's attention. She's stuck. They're driving fast, too. 60, 70 miles an hour. If you go to MikeyShow.com right now, you can actually see the video of it. A little small Renault being pushed by a tanker truck on the freeway, exceeding speeds of 60 miles per hour. Now, just so you know, everyone's fine. The girl actually was just fine. Yeah. Yeah. Minimal damage even to her car, which is amazing. It's unbelievable. Her name is Rory. Williams? Is that it? Yeah. Of course it is. I don't know if it's Rory. I think it's like Rora. Rona Williams. Rona. You're close. Rona Williams. Let's hear from Rona. Just terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. First I just thought, my God, he just hasn't seen me. He just doesn't know I'm there. And that was probably the most terrifying bit. Just thinking that no one knew what was going on. So was she terrified? I think she was. I think she was terrified. She sounds terrified. Every time I hear an accent.
I can't do them, but it's like, you have to talk back with the accent, you know? I can't just ignore it. Michael, was she terrified? Absolutely terrified. Absolutely. Absolutely. It was dreadful. Rhona, tell me this. How did it actually end? He managed to maneuver us both still stuck together onto the hard shoulder and then back, literally back the truck. Literally. Not figuratively. But literally. Quite literally, isn't it? It's quite literally, meaning that... When he literally pulled over, I mean that not figuratively. You know how sometimes figuratively people will say, pull over. No, no, no. I don't mean it in the figurative sense. I mean it literally that he pulled over. Of course. Off my car. Thank you. If you think about it, though, I mean, how would he have done that? That's kind of scary. Once he realizes she's there, what do you do? Slow, slow, slow. But eventually, her wheels may stop moving or something and he would have to back up. I don't know. I wonder what that 911 call would have sounded like. Emergency services, may I help you? Oh, yes. Hello, darling. I'm driving along the motorway and it seems a truck has struck me and I'm now being pushed along by this...
18-wheeler truck. Is that right? Whereabouts are you? Oh, you know the area, I'm sure. It's right along Route 4 here on the motorway. Do you know... Is that over by Kensington? Absolutely. That's it. That's it. Wonderful. Where are you from? Are you from Kensington? Oh, actually, I'm from an area called Cornwall. Cornwall, yes. Yeah, it's a nice quaint little area, but it's all. I thought it might be Kensington because I thought I noticed it with the accent, but maybe not. I know, I get that quite often, actually. But, yeah, so I'm just being pushed along now. He looks like a quite lovely man. How fast would you say the truck is traveling? Oh, I don't know, maybe 48 kilometers per hour. Yes. Quite fast, actually. It is quite fast. It's a bit of a ride, actually. Well, it sounds deadly. What part of town again? I don't know where we are now. We've travelled a bit of ways. It could be near Edenborough Square. Edenborough Square, yes. I've been there quite often. In fact, do you know a chap named Ian Cofello? Oh, it sounds bloody familiar, but... Oh, is he kind of a...
Sort of a snaggle tooth. Oh, that's terrible. Oh, there he is. Oh, he's waiting back to me. Hello. Hello, darling. Wonderful. So I believe we'll just... Well, let me ask you, darling, what do you need from me? I believe we are starting to slow down now. So I think if you could, maybe if you could just come over and make sure there's not too much damage to my car here. Can't do that. I live in Brighton House. If you're in the area, please stop by. Let's have some tea. You sound lovely. Okay, no bother. Well, thank you, dear. You do enjoy the rest of your afternoon now. Cheerio. Okay. Bye-bye. Cheerio. So polite. They're so, she's so calm. Is he a bit of a snaggle tooth? Yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. Now that you mention it, yeah. He's a bit of a snaggle tooth at Ian Kerfellows. What did you need from me, Dio? What can I do for you? That sounds quite dreadful. Oh, man. Wonderful. Well, that could be what it sounded like. Probably exactly what it sounded like. I always tell my friend Anna is from England, and I tell her that she could tell me that I was...
Well, I'm not going to say it on the radio, but if you say it in a British accent, it sounds... You're a bit of a floozy. Yes, I am. So nice. I am, actually. You're the worst person I've ever met in my life. Exactly. There we go. You are absolutely disgusting looking. You're absolutely dreadful. Get your snack of two. Octomom says, everybody calm down. I'm not losing the house. Everybody just quit yelling and screaming and running around like chickens with your head cuts off. I didn't know. Since the very beginning, 95% of everything's been life, you know, and made up and catastrophized, exaggerated, sensationalized, whatever. So it's all inaccurate. No, we're fine. Every girlfriend's ever yelled at me. Yeah. How many kids does she have? Eight. No. Fourteen. Fourteen? She had six before, I think. Yes. I thought Octo was eight. She had eight at one time. At the same time, and she already had six before. Oh. Oh, so she's the sintento mom. Yeah, whatever. Whatever it is. What is it in Spanish? Quarenta. Quarenta. Quarenta. Quarenta. Here she's talking about how she's not just a fictitious character. The fictional character they made up from the beginning has nothing to do with me, nor has it ever. And the life they made up. It's the girlfriend that argues with you and uses the word nor.
Sprud is still getting publicity. Her voice is so annoying. You ever had a girlfriend throw the word nor at you? No. I'm not going to do that, nor am I going to. Oh, God, you're a dead man. Nor will I stand here and engage in this conversation with you. I'm not going to talk to you about it, nor am I going to. Neither do I like your tone. Neither do I. Yeah, funnily enough. That's woods. No one's ever said that except for my friend Woods. So no girlfriend has ever said that because only my friend Woods has ever said funnily enough. Sweeping the nation. It's not. It is. It's snot. It's snot. Everyone's good. The house is fine. I haven't been laid on my mortgage. So the details I'd rather not even get into, but we're not losing the house. By house, she means her giant shoe that she lives in. Her voice is cutting through my brain like nails. It's killing me. She had to have work done to look like Angelina Jolie. Obviously, yeah. She's repugnant. Oh, I don't know. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Strange, strange plastic surgery coincidence. Nor do I care at all. Nor. Just take care of your kids. Yeah. Please, you have 14 kids. Maybe give the kid and his old lady one. Yeah. Make it right. I'm not coming up with nor am I going to stay on the phone with you right now.
You're dead. I don't like nor. California's going to legalize pot? Well, they may. Problems, man. I think it's going to happen. It's been 14 years since California legalized medicinal marijuana. And today, the L.A. County elections officials are turning in their count of valid signatures that they've collected nationwide to legalize marijuana. And they have more than enough signatures. Because I want to have another conversation with my kid. I want to have 80 conversations with my kid about stuff. It's going to make it easier. Then people are going to come here from everywhere because they can come potty it up. Potter, McPottersons. Why is alcohol and tobacco legal then? It is legal. It is legal, but they're not traveling here from Arkansas so they could sit in the park and drink it. They would. They will when pot's legal here, but they're going to come here from Arkansas. Oh, please. They already come here anyway.
People that want to do it. Hey, man, let's get some pot and let's go to San Diego, man. Sit down on the beach and smoke some weed. That already happens every weekend in PB. Get down here in Nashville, man. Let's get a plane ticket this summer, man. Let's go to San Diego. Let's go to San Diego, man, and smoke some weed. How would that be any different than any other trip that people take to San Diego? Because they don't make a special trip right now to smoke some weed. Oh, they do. They could smoke weed right now in Nashville. But if it's legal here. People say to me, I heard in California. Humboldt. Maybe they do say, I heard. What they'll know is that they could do it. Let's go smoke, man. I don't want to stay here anyway. Let's go to San Diego this summer, man. Or San Francisco. Hey, man, let's go to Bakersfield. Buy some weed. Buy a bag of weed, man, and go to San Diego or Brawley or L.A. Let's go to San Luis. Hey, baby, I ain't never been to Santa Barbara. Let's go to Santa Barbara this summer, man. What about La Jolla? Smoke some weed. Come on, baby. Put your bathing suit on. Get some sunscreen. Get the kid. Get the kid. Hurry up, baby. We got a little.
I got to pick my mom up. She's going to pay for it, she said. But we got to, hey, lead is legal in L.A., man. You only got 25 minutes to lead. Great. Hey, we need, California needs money. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Put some money in the, money in California, say yeah. Yeah. Let's go right now. I'm ready. Let's do it. Get the U-Haul. That's right. I'll bring the papers. To me, it look like a leprechaun to me. I got to look up in the trees. Who else in the leprechaun say yeah? I want to smoke what that guy's smoking. That's right. I want to know where to go. I want to go. Give me the gold. I want to go. He's still back in 1849 there. Do you want the gold? Are you panning for gold? I want to know where the gold is. Ladies and gentlemen, this is actual audio that was just uncovered. From 1849. From 1849 during the 49 gold rush. The 1849 gold rush. This man was actually panning for gold. And this is from the archives. I want to know where the gold is. I want the gold. Give me the gold. I want the gold. It's one of the first gold miners.
Ever in the state of California. Yes, excuse me, sir. It's 1849. If you may, tell me what you're doing here. I want to know where to go. I want to go. Give me to go. I want to go. Is this your pack mule? With the pick and the pan. Does that belong to you? I want to know where to go. Yes, sir. I want to go. It's right there in the creek. Give me to go. I want to go. All you need to do is pan it out. Yeah. Pan it right out of the river. Woods is going to sponge me. He's losing his vibe. To me, it look like a leprechaun to me. I got to look up in the tree. Who else in the leprechaun say yeah? Yeah.
I love how everyone says yeah. Greatest audio in the history of anything. Just so you know, if the marijuana does become legalized in California, it will allow anyone 21 or older to possess, share, and transport up to an ounce for personal use. Good Lord. Stop. And they can grow 25 square feet per residence. Wow. Come on, baby. We got to get this thing moving. Dude, they'll be moving here. I'm in. Let's go. I'm in. I am. Why? Because you know how many crimes are committed? Deaths happen over, you know, drugs. Baby, you know how many crimes are committed over drugs, man? That's how come. Well, let's go, baby. I want to go for the first time ever to California. Let's go. Load it up. Everyone will be smiling and laughing and happy. Legalize it. I'd be in my room. Door shut. Looking out the window. Paranoid out of my mind. Looking through the blinds. Wood's going to come to work. No, he can't leave his house. If you weren't inclined to smoke it before, just because it's legal doesn't mean you're going to. It's what it will come along with it. It won't. Money for the state. We need it. If people want to smoke it, they'll smoke it now. Yeah, I know. And so will everybody from...
Michigan. They already do. Yeah, they're going to fly here. They already do. It's going to be like people that go to Amsterdam. They don't already fly here for it because it isn't legal here. No, they have it there. And if it was Arizona, people would be flying to Tucson. Let's go to Tucson. Yeah, it's good for the economy. Great. You know what else is SeaWorld? You know what? It's probably, like in all actuality, it's probably safer than alcohol. Probably. But that's just not how it is now. I mean, alcohol is still legal. It probably is. You drank. You smoked some pot in your day. Hated pot. I never liked it either. Yeah, so you're not going to automatically do it now that it's legal. That's not why I'm against it. I'm against what it'll turn the state into. Does this mean like if it's legal, can you be driving in your car blasting a drink? No. I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah, I think it'd be just like drinking. You can't drive your car and drink. You can, man. You can too. You can blast that sugar. Come on, baby. Blast it. But Billy Bob, Billy Bob, you're not going to move here. I ain't going to move. That's the thing. I'm just going to come and litter. No, stop it, Billy Bob. I just want to come turn that place into like a cat box. I'm going to use San Diego as my own personal cat box. You're going to come?
You're going to come for Flowtopia next year? Oh, yeah, man. That's great. You going to spend money at the local businesses? I'm going to spend so much money for like 150 bucks, man. Great. Bring like a thousand of your friends. I'll bring a thousand and then I will pump $2,000 into your house. Yeah. And I will use your beach as a pot smoking cat box. No, you're not going to be able to smoke in public. We'll get arrested and cited for that. You still have to be cool about it, man. We can still have little pot bars. Yeah. Probably. You know it. It's going to be a lot of fun. Don't criticize it. That was my best Jamaican accent. It was really good. Regular Peter Tosh over here. She goes, don't criticize it. Legalize it. No woman, no cry.
That's my best Jamaican. Hey, woman over there, stop crying. Hey, woman, no cry. So I'm looking at Sienna's recap email. She says that now that she's married, you know, she's really trying to fit into the whole homemaker thing. I'm trying. She's cooking, right? You're cooking for your hub? I cook, yeah, every night. And you do about 10 different meals that you just nail. I'm a good cook, but that's the problem. There's only so many things that I can make. I would like to test your food out. I think you should bring in some leftovers. I can make really delicious homemade mac and cheese like you wouldn't believe. Really? Do you bake it? There's even little breadcrumbs in there. It's delish. Do you bake it in the oven? Uh-huh. I cook the noodles, and then I add all the other ingredients, and then I bake it so it's like... And crispy on the outside. It's delicious. I want to taste some of the food that you make. Make that right. I would want to, too. Once you make it right. It's delish. Bring some in tomorrow. What are you going to make tonight? I don't know yet. That's my problem. That's why I'm writing in there. And I even put it on my blog. I need help because I have like 10 go-to recipes. And I have a lot of other cookbooks. But they inquire so many. You know, they need so many different ingredients. And it's like, I'm not about to go to the store just to buy all the little ingredients that this recipe needs. Why don't you get.
A bunch of cookbooks. I got all those Food Network stars. I just said I have a lot. But they all say, like, they're not really easy to make just, like, stuff you have lying around at your house. I've got two words for you. What? Three words. Cooking Light Magazine. No. Rachel Ray, she tells you how to get those staple items. Because it's like, you know, a dash of paprika. And I'm like, okay, I think I have paprika. I don't know. I don't know. Let me tell you. Kid made it right last night. I made it real right. Pork chops with mac and cheese. That's delicious. You know how you know your pork chops are good? And you don't even need cocktail sauce on them. Gross. That's how we grew up. Like you dip shrimp in? Yeah. Put them on pork chops next time. You'll blow your mind. It's like ketchup. I'll blow your mind. Try it next time. Really? I'm going to put ketchup on my filet mignon. Cocktail sauce would taste good on a turd. Believe me. Yeah, maybe. Cocktail sauce is good on everything. Try it on your pork chops next time. Seriously, trust me. Jamie was like, you're insane. Now she's like, we're out of cocktails. We gotta go get some. I'm making pork chops. She loves it. So good. Try it. San Diego, just try it. Trust me. I would not steer you wrong. Hey, Nintendo has a new 3D DS. Yep. Just what we need. What does DS mean? My stepdaughter has... DS is the name of the little handheld deal. Yeah, it's like, you know...
Like a Nintendo, whatever they used to call it. I don't even remember. Game Boy. Game Boy. Thank you. It's like that. I have a PSP. It's like that, but it looks like a little mini laptop. Oh, gosh. Yeah, my stepdaughter has it, and she loves them, and now they have a new 3D one. Do you have to wear dumb glasses when you play? No, you don't even need glasses. Come on. Well, then how is it 3D? I don't know. It says it's... Because you have to get some sort of 3D LASIK before you play it. No, it says it has a face-tracking technology, which uses a built-in front-facing video camera to detect where the player is looking. Wow. I don't know. It's really crazy. Why can't they do that with TVs? I don't know. More stuff to keep the kids inside and not outside playing. And nudists are being targeted here in San Diego at the beaches. Now, I thought that Blacks was the only beach that you were allowed to be naked at. You're not even allowed to be naked at. You're not? It's just kind of overlooked. Well, there was a big discrepancy about it here in the studio because we were discussing it before the show started this morning. And some people were saying it's never been allowed. There were others of us that were saying, no, I think it was. You know, it's the only place I like to lay out nude. I thought I saw you there on Sunday. Michael, I saw you Sunday with your children and your wife. It's great. Lauren, you've jogged by there, right? Yeah, just this past Sunday. Is there anyone else besides middle-aged chubby men?
That go there? They are few and far between. But you will actually see something other than a white, middle-aged, chubby guy? Everybody was all white that I saw. Several Germans and Austrians, Michael. Yeah. Several. But there's, like, for every 75 dudes, there's, like, one chick. I like those odds. Yeah. What is the... Those great ratios. Who's the chick? What's she all about? I'm guessing she might be European. She's a European girl? I don't know. I mean, I don't take a close-up examination while I'm on my run. Don't you, Lauren? I kept waiting to see Mikey with his laptop. Did you? Did you? Yeah, no luck. Creepy, creepy. Michael, you and the other nudists can lay on the beach and get sad and relax and surf the internet. Stop, because it's creeping me out. So great. Nothing to be ashamed of, Michael.
Mikey let us all know that he likes to lie naked in bed in the middle of the afternoon. Michael, come to the Black's Beach. Yeah, you'd fit in. You get desensitized. Lifeguards have been regulating and you can face a $500 fine and court fees. So you got to put the clothes on because there's no more naked. Hey, we're going to get our own Chinatown here in San Diego. Chinatown. Is that right? Because a lot of towns have it. New York, San Francisco. San Francisco has the best Chinatown. Chicago. Yeah, it's going to be centered at 3rd and Island Avenue. I'm in. In between there. It's going to stretch about eight blocks, and it's going to cost about $2.5 million. It's funded by the Redevelopment Dollars. And they're going to start working on this here pretty soon. What's allowed at your workplace in terms of what you wear and what isn't allowed? Here? We'll talk. We'll talk.
It's all coming up. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Coming to San Diego this Saturday, Air. Air this Saturday at 4th and B. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Air's unique brand of ethereal dream pop and electronica. Live this Saturday at 4th and B. I love this. Ticketmaster.com for your tickets to see air this Saturday. Must be 21 with proper ID. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Now you can.
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It's behind the wheel of a C300 sports sedan. Lease one today for $349 a month. Visit your San Diego County Mercedes-Benz dealer today. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I make up lyrics if I don't know them. Woods. I remember my first French kiss. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. Zienna. I put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. Good to have you. Let's see. We had a full show today. I'm in a very full show. Oh, I know what I was telling you. This email. I wanted to read you this email. Mikey Show. Can't tell you how much you guys make me laugh every morning. Just started a new job and you guys actually have me looking forward to my early commute to work. Awesome. Speaking of my new job, I cannot get over how strict some of the rules are. One in particular that I had to share with you guys. I don't want to say where I work considering I just got hired.
But at this particular, and in parentheses, well-known company, they have asked that women only wear stud earrings. That's the kind I wear, man. I'm a stud. For any guy who may not know what that is, it means we cannot wear any dangle or hoop earrings at all. What's a dangle earring? Like the droopy ones. Like they're just like the tiny posts in your ear hole. Like they don't leave your ear lobe. Like the dangling cross I used to wear? A dangle earring is like, you know, say that there's like a little crystal on like a chain hanging down or something like that. You know it. Yeah, of course. That's weird. My job is to sit in an office. I'm not doing construction all day. Good point. What's the point? I just don't understand. I wanted to see what you guys thought about it. And I'd also love to hear if there's other people out there who have to abide by an overly strict dress code. Thanks, guys. I'll be listening. M1 Hoop Girl. Our dress code is so strict here. I know. It kills me every morning. What T-shirt do I wear? Which baseball cap am I going to throw on? They criticize my moccasins and my Uggs that I wear every day. That's right. Couldn't be happier. No more suit and ties for the kid. It's a great thing about radio. You don't have to. I mean, it doesn't matter. No. Plus, I have a face for radio, so it's perfect.
Like, if you're on the radio in the middle of the day, like, I would probably dress it up a little bit. I think people understand that we get here at 3 in the morning. Really? You would dress it up if you're on a midday show? You would? I wouldn't, like, probably. What would you do different? There would probably be occasional days where I would wear heels. What? No way. Why? Because you feel cute. Really? I feel disgusting when I'm here. You're married. So? So what? It's about her feeling good. I like to feel good in heels. I mean, I'm not talking like stiletto crazy. What's wrong with those creeps that you won't wear heels around us? Yeah. You feel cute around us, man. Because I wake up at 3 in the morning. I go outside. She's like, it's you guys. You know, like, who cares? I seriously want to wear PJs someday. Do we do that? Yeah, we basically do. Let's do it someday. Let's have a PJ party. I don't rock PJs very well. Let's do it on Friday. We have listeners in. I don't, Woodsy. Maybe you come in what you sleep in, pal. Why don't you leave me alone? Why don't you wear the old birthday suit up here? Just creep everybody out. Hi, it's the Mikey Show. There were five members on the show. Now there's only one. It's me, Mikey. I'll be your host for the next four hours. Why not?
I'd go nude. We can do a nude show. I'm not going to go nude, guys. That's weird. Why? What are you so self-conscious about? Why is everyone so uptight? Well, you know, there's a webcam on us right now. Peace and love, dude. My husband would probably love it, too. Lauren's like, I would do it. No way. For women's lib, I would do it. That's right. To show you that a woman could be just as bold as a man. Just because of women's lib, I won't do it. Yeah. 570-1949. Do you have a weird thing at work that you can't wear this, you can't wear that? I had to call. I was a manager at one of my jobs, and I had to call in a young lady and tell her that the clothes that she was wearing were very inappropriate. Are you serious? That is so awkward. The most. Okay, okay, okay. Did you write her an email, or did you say, hey, can I talk to you for a moment? Can I grab you for a second? Describe to me what she wears. She had giant knots. What does that mean? Giant knots. I think you get what that means. Okay. I've never heard of them. And she liked to let them flow. Like to let them flow. At the office, short skirt, giant knots, the whole bit. And I was like, cubicle? Cubicle, yes. Cubicle, yes. Yes. Customers are, yeah, clients would be there. Some of her clients were males. Yeah, dude. Did you walk up to the cubicle and make up a name?
So you don't have to give a real name. Betty. Unless you feel comfortable. Okay, Betty. Betty. I said, hey, Betty, when you get a sec, will you pop in my office before you go to lunch? Sure. So she did, and I sat there. I was so uncomfortable. You were in an office. I had a desk. Shut the door. Yeah. It was kind of big time. Shut the door. Sat down. And she sat down, and I said, hey, Betty. I said, I got to talk to you about your attire. I said, no, listen. I said, I don't personally have a problem with it. Oh, God. I like when you're not paying for it. I don't personally have a problem with it. I said, but it may be construed by the, it's been mentioned to me by upper management that it may be a little bit inappropriate for the workplace. Like I said, I don't have a problem with it. Let's clean it up. Let me reiterate. I have no problem with what I'm seeing here. I have no problem with what I see. Never looked at her eyes once in that conversation. She was mortified. She was mortified. Did she cry? Yeah, she cried. She was mortified. She cried? I would cry. She was a crier. Really? I thought she was doing it on purpose. No. Because I know that girl. Here's the deal. She was like, hit the General Lee horn. That was her. You know what?
When you got them, sometimes it's hard to control the girls. Didn't know any better. Sometimes it's hard. Well, you can wear a longer skirt and you could maybe tie a cardigan around your shoulders. The skirt thing's not... Oh, dude, mine. How drastic was the clothing change? Not very drastic. That's the wrong... She didn't really have much else. She wore a turtleneck. Did you have to call her in for round two? No. No, I didn't go to round two. But, dude, I mean, she left the room and I was like... I mean, I never had to fire anybody, thank God. I've got to be really close. That was the second worst thing I could do. So upper management told you, Woods, you need to deal with this? Oh, yeah. And my boss was a total B and was like, if you don't tell her, I'm going to tell her. I was like, I got it. Yeah, we don't want that. She'll quit if you tell her. Man. Yeah. That's got to be difficult to tell a woman. She started to cry. Yeah, she's crying. She felt like an idiot. Because then she had to go the rest of the day wearing that. She's like, I thought I looked classy. I was like, if you worked in a nightclub or a strip club, you'd look classy. You did not tell her that? In my head. Did she go home right away? No, she went to lunch and then the next day it got a little bit better, but the skirts were so short. It was like, come on, dude. And the knots hanging out was just bad. The knots. It was a bad, bad deal. 570-1949.
949mikey at gmail.com. Have you ever worn something at work and they sent you home? I had like a dress code in school when I was younger. I got sent home from school. I couldn't wear clear nail polish. Clear? Clear. No nail polish whatsoever. Not even clear. It's very whorish. No, my teacher sent me to the office because I had clear nail polish on. I had to take it off. It's very whorish. Couldn't wear any makeup, no mascara, nothing. Did you go to school at a convent? No, I went to Catholic school, kindergarten through eighth grade. So good. It's very whorish. I got in trouble at Long John Silver's. Of course you did. Yeah, I worked at Long John Silver's for about a year. How good is that food? It's good when you cook it yourself. Was your scarf too? No, they had the little hat that had the earring that hung. The earring, yes! And I... I did not like to wear that hat. They always make you wear that little hat. You know what it reminds me of? Unlike the people that love to wear the Long John shoulder shot. Why don't you have a little pride, Isabel? Yeah, it's exactly the way the guy brought me in. Hey, where's your hat with the earring? Dude, I left it in my locker. Hey, don't you have a little pride? That's why people come here. I love it. Your patch was not on correctly.
Unbelievable. The patch was crooked. Hi, matey. Welcome to Long John Silver's. This is Jay. Can I take your order? My polyester shirt was not ironed. Wait, you can't iron those. Welcome to Long John Silver's. This is Jay, man. Can we get a number one chicken plank meal? Yeah, what's that? Do you have Sprite? Did you say Sprite? Sprite. Would you like a super fishy fish you have? Yes, throw one in. Don't upsell me, though. Can I? Also offer you a hot fishy fish apple pie. No, I'll pass. Please don't laugh. Sorry. Drive forward, please. Is this Jay Isbell? Didn't we graduate together? Steve, what's... Class of 69. Yeah, that's me. Drive forward the first one, don't man. We'll get you up here.
I worked at a restaurant where I was a waitress and you had to wear black tights. And I remember they had kept spare tights in the back because you had to have opaque black tights, which are like thick black. Like you can't, it's not sheer at all. And I came in with sheer and they've lost their mind. It was a big deal. Cannot see any skin. They're tight. Horish nail polish. M1 Kim. Hey. What'd they make you do? I had to go to the office and. The journalist there at the school, he wrote an article about it, too, so I was in the paper, too. About the way you particularly dressed or because you got sent or what's the deal? My T-shirt said, homework is a bitch. I love it. And they sent you, how old were you? I was a junior in high school. And they sent you to the office. I got in big trouble. Oh, man. Homework is a bitch. Yeah. That is awesome that you wore this. That's awesome. That's a statement. Hey, love your show, guys. Thank you very much. All right. You can't wear like the spaghets. High schools have a lot of rules. M1Jules. Hey. What up? What's up? What happened to you? My boss used to make me wear my hair in a bun every day. Why? Because I had long blonde hair. He was like this Southern Baptist reverend, just super strict and old school kind of guy.
Are they allowed to tell you to put your hair in? I don't know. Did you cook or something? I don't think he was, but I didn't want to cause any waves in the house. So I just kind of abided. And it was just really weird. In the house? You didn't want to cause trouble in the house? What does that mean? No, I just meant in the office. In the office. Yeah. And so you said, okay, and you put it in a bun. Yeah. Were there other women that worked there that had long hair? No, it was, well, it's a corporation. Where it's a very large corporation, but in the specific branches, there's only one person and then me. I was the branch office administrator. So it's just the two of us. Wow. Thank you. But I knew other women who worked at other branches who did not have the same hair. He could wear ponytails. Yeah. Maybe he had a thing. Maybe he had a thing for it. For the girls in the buns? I like your hair in a bun. I asked Pepper the other day what constituted a bun hair day. And she said because her neck gets scratched by her hair. Yeah, and sometimes if you're having a bad hair day, the best way to deal with it, just wrap it up. Try conditioning. Every day. Maybe you try having long hair past your shoulders. Maybe you try conditioning. That one's Sal. High and tight. High and tight.
M1 Sal. Hey, Mike. Sal. Yeah, go ahead. Hey, now check this out. This is on the total opposite end of the spectrum. My wife, when she was in school, they had to take a shower after going to PE. And when they were done taking a shower, they had to wait in line with all these other girls naked to get a towel. And a lady had to wait there or someone had to wait there and check to make sure their hair was wet. and that they washed up, and they had to stand in line naked. My wife said that she stood in line naked with all these other girls for five, ten minutes. Creepy. I'm in. Did they have a male gym t-shirt? I think I've seen that before. I think it was in Porky's. Yeah, it was Porky's. That's not cool. That's very cool. I would never fly now. What famous person left their phone number on their friend's Facebook wall? Oh, and guess how many of those?
Dracula DVDs they saw in opening. Are you talking about Twilight Bites? Yes. Come on now. Tell you next. It's Chino Moreno. Doing a Sade song. Doing a Sade song. Blasphemy. Doing it. Ordinary love. Doing it well. Oh, I love it. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Check engine. Boys, so many things can go wrong with your car. That's why Pep Boys invented one place that can make them all right.
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That's the name of the song or the band? That's the band. The band. The song is one thing. It's a good tune. Real catchy. Catchy. Real catchy chorus. Sing it all day. After you hear it. This summer sets off 21 years of age to prove to the world that he could conquer anything. That is money. Sounds just like climbing mountains in the middle of Tibet. One man sets out to prove to himself and the world. Is that guy's name? I don't know. He's brilliant. It's a great song. Welcome back. Okay. What famous person left their phone number on their friend's wall on Facebook? Can we guess?
I was just going to say you 100% need to start guessing. Hillary's here too. Hill, you got to guess. Get in here, Hill. It's a girl. Jessica Simpson. There's throw names out. It's a girl. Jessica Simpson. Nope. Older. Paris Hilton. No, older. Meryl Streep. Betty White. No, that's too old. Think of someone who's like the... Charo. No. Oh, Suzanne Somers. No. Think of somebody that's a little druggish. Courtney Love. Courtney Love. There you go. How bad is it when all you have to say is... Druggish. Oh. Courtney. Yeah, she posted a little 6 a.m. message on the whole singer's wall on Facebook. That's her. Oh, that's her. She is the whole singer. Oh, no, no, no. On Jason Weinberg, who's the entertainment founder or something. And she put her phone number right on his wall. On purpose? Yeah, call me. She probably thought it was a message. Yeah, and that it wasn't going to be seen by everybody.
Yeah. What was she doing up at 6 a.m., I wonder? Probably hadn't slept. She's listening to The Mikey Show, obviously. Obviously. She probably had just watched six hours of that new Dracula movie that came out because it was released at midnight. She was probably waiting for Mikey to do his hoil. That's right. I have what she said. What'd she say? She said, I'm in Austin, and I'm the queen of it. In parentheses, Google me. What? Yeah. I can't do this full time. Dot, dot, dot. Call me. I hope to God you're in New York City tomorrow. with her phone number. Love you and see you on set. She slayed it there, I heard. I heard that they killed it. That's why she said Google it. And that's why she said I'm the queen of here. She's so humble. She's very humble. Yeah. She's really good, though. I like that band. Speaking of humble, why don't you guys do some humble pie? What's humble pie? Humble pie, dude. Why don't you guys play some? What does that mean? Not a joke, Pepper. You know how old humble pie is? Maybe that's why I don't know what it is. I think they were at Woodstock. I was there too. You were? I didn't go to the performances, but I was staying in the hotel. You went to Woodstock, New York and didn't go to the concert at the same time? Mother wouldn't let me. That's not funny. Why? It's a long story. It had to do with racial discrimination, and I don't want to go into it. Oh, wow. Racial discrimination against you? Listen, it's a long story.
What? So why'd you bring it up? So why were you in Woodstock? I wanted to go to the performance. Oh. But mother wouldn't let me. You went with your mother? Yes. I went to everyone. Who didn't go? Did you all go to concerts without your mother? Yes. Sometimes you go with your friends. Boys, girls, whatever. Your friends? That was not allowed. You have friends. You have friends. Tell me you have friends. No, I didn't have friends. Pepper. I'm going to cry. You're going to make me cry. I'm just kidding, y'all. Of course I have friends. You're not kidding. I did. I had friends. My friend Bobby Shuster. Oh, I know him. My friend Ben Kingsley. My friend Michael Jackson. You're making me laugh, I think. Frank Jackson. My friend Sylvester Stallone. These are famous people you're just listing off now. My friend, Telly Savalas. Hillary, what do you got today? What do you got coming up? I just sort of got here at the last minute. So I grabbed a couple things. Postal Service, New Phoenix, Beck, Broken Bells. That's the kind of mood I'm in. Yeah, me too. Digging it. So good, that new record. So, yeah. I like the Broken Bells, too. Were you listening earlier?
Were you listening earlier when I talked about going to lunch with our general manager, Rick? I was really early. I was really early. Did you hear the General Lee over and over and over and over? I did hear the General Lee over and over and over. Something about legalizing marijuana in California. People from Arkansas coming out, yeah. You had lunch with our general manager? Went to Joe's Crab Shack. Oh, sure. Classy. Yeah, classy. Classed up. Yeah. Wore a buttoned up shirt, you know. I'm down for mine. Both hands on top of the table. No other buttons. Did you wear the bib? They came while I was talking to him and tied a bib on me. While I was talking to him. I think that was a power play on Rick's part. Make sure you take care of this. Hey, did you guys do the Macarena together? When we're all done, are you going to burp me? Did you guys Macarena? Yes. Because they do that there. Have you guys never been there? I did like a backwards crab walk one time. You know what? I just want to eat my meal in peace. Please leave me alone. Don't touch me. It's like the ferals of seafood, right? Yeah, it is. It's really great when you're with your boss. You get a bib tied on you. You want to put me in a little... You laugh about it. It's funny. Yeah, you put me in a baby bjorn. Nursed you? Yeah, nursed me. Oh, that's a disturbing image. Nurse.
Why don't you go to Dick's Last Resort and have... Lauren, you can't say that on the radio. It's a restaurant. It's a restaurant. No way better. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Mikey's show will be back tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. Mikey's show's out late. In financial media station, Mikey in the morning. About the music all day and night. Up 94.9, it's about the music.