The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/25/10

0:00KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Break from you, and now we're going to do it all over again. It's The Mikey Show. Mikey Show is reachable by text message or by phone call. If you want to text us, you can. Text is 949Mikey at gmail.com. And if you want to call us... You can use any area code here in San Diego and just call 570-1949. And an M1, by the way, is a Mikey Show listener. When you call in as an M1, you turn your radio down, you get to your point, and you don't cuss. And you listen for long periods of time. You turn new people on to the Mikey Show, and you are a part of the M1 Nation. We're getting some bumper stickers together for you. We're going to be meeting and greeting soon.

3:27We're going to be doing a little charity golf thing coming up. We've got a lot of really cool stuff we're going to be telling you about very soon. And the Mikey Show is ramping up and doing really, really well. Thank you for supporting the Mikey Show. It's really, really cool what you have done to this show in such a small length of time, especially without anybody really knowing about it. We haven't done any television or print or billboard ads or anything like that. And the show is... Doing really, really good. So awesome. And we just want to say thank you so much to that. If you want to join us on Facebook, by the way, you can. You can go to Facebook.com and just search for The Mikey Show. And there's a fan page that you can get in on there. There's a whole bunch of people on our fan page. 7,441 fans. And if you'd like to join, you can. It's real easy. Just click on the little button and you're in. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. 39 years of age. I give you my age because I think that somehow you can relate if you know a little bit more about how old we are, that sort of thing. So I'm 39. My boy Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 34 years of age. And Pepper O'Brien, who's wearing her... It's going to stick, isn't it? It's sticky. Pepper gets stuck in her teeth. That's right. It just happens.

4:55Pepper O'Brien is wearing a Smedium right now. It's her boyfriend's button-down. Yep. And she's with us. And she is a stand-up comic. And she's also the assistant producer on the show. And Sienna is wearing a very comfortable-looking sweater right now. So cozy. It looks real comfortable. Guys can't wear that particular thing. Sure we can. We can. No, you can't. Dude, why couldn't you wear it? Frankie, you totally could. It's sleeveless, though. I have one. You get that at Naughty? No, Target. Naughty. Call on me embarrassed. I must have paid too much. Probably. Sienna is 24 and what I call a natural beauty. Oh, wow. Thank you. That's right. That's great. I call Jay a natural beauty as well. He's our producer. He is. He is very pretty.

5:5446 years of age. What is the deal, Sienna, with this thing in China with Google? We've been hearing about it. It's been, you know, online for weeks. We've been hearing about it. And it's just kind of like, what are those things that's kind of confusing to understand? At least it was for me. It's in Chinese. It's in Chinese, basically, yeah. That's part of the reason. I researched it. I broke it down. And here's the gist, if you've been seeing, you know, the battle between Google and China. That's the article I was reading. I was like, what does this even mean? Well, Google, in case you don't know, controls nearly two-thirds of the world's search results. Like, you know, the biggest website ever. China has a problem. The Chinese government has a problem with Google because Google has not been filtering a lot of the things that China needs to be filtered. The Chinese government has certain things like... Human rights that they do not want looked up in China. They don't want the Chinese to know about things like that. So the Chinese government has been on Google. You need to filter. You need to filter. You need to filter. You filter for other countries. For example, if you're talking about Germany, France or Poland, it's illegal to publish material that denies the Holocaust.

7:02They can't talk about the Holocaust in any of those countries. And then there's other examples in other countries. But Google won't do that for China. That's insane. They'll do minimal filtering, but the Chinese government wants them to do a lot more. So basically, that's what's going on right now. Google is no longer like, you know, they can't. It's not in China now. It's in Hong Kong. So I guess they still can access it. But you have to be in Hong Kong? No, I guess there's ways around it that you can get a hold of it. Big thing is, which is why Google is like, you know, why should we do this? Because they're not even the biggest search engine in China. A company called Baidu is. Of course, Baidu. Baidu.com. I have a friend that I recruited to my last company and she left our company, went with her boyfriend who got a job in Shanghai. Yeah. And she can no longer use Facebook there. They're not allowed to use Facebook. So when you get a message from Corey, her name is Corey Dibble, you get. It's her brother kind of running her Facebook page through emails that he gets from her. He takes the pictures that he gets from her, puts them on her Facebook. She can't access Facebook or log into Facebook or use Facebook in China. They must not want their citizens getting too much of a taste of freedom. It's crazy. They might want it. In case you don't know the Chinese government, just a little on the strict side. A little on the communist side. A little bit.

8:29I'm going to tell you this. In terms of a world power, they are making money hand over fist. The Chinese government and China as a whole is a very powerful country. Yeah, scary powerful. Yeah, to the point where I just, I'm kind of like, every day I feel like I'm waking up and I'm like, hey, China. You guys all right? What are you doing? What are you guys doing? What are you guys doing? Everything cool? All right, I'm just asking. Just making sure. Making sure everything's cool. No, no, no. I'm just saying it's everything cool. That's all. I'm not looking for trouble. And 10 minutes later, I'm like, hey, you guys still, what are you doing? You okay? And they're like, yeah. I'm like, okay, I'm just asking. What are you doing, by the way? They're telling you don't worry about it. Yeah. That's the scary part. You don't worry about what we're doing. Yeah. They have a big smelting factory where they're building something made of steel. But they're like, don't worry about it. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Keep your eyes on your own paper. You're fine. Just do what you do. I know, but I just want to know what you're building. I want to know what you're up to. You keep your eye on your own paper. That's right. That's what we're told. Mm-hmm. It's scary. Well, anyway, that's the deal. Oh.

9:45How about this little gem? Oh, no. Of a story. Yeah. Sienna, tell everybody what happened with the body scanners in Britain. Now, do you know what we're talking about with the body scanners? Yeah, we've talked about these before. They're full scanners. This is something that is basically going to be at every airport probably by the end of next year. And you walk through these scanners and the detailed image that comes up on the screen for the airport employees. They can see the privates. Yeah, they can see everything. They can see everything. Mikey has a very big issue. Woods and I, not so much. I have a very big issue because of a very small issue. Stop it. My thing is that the people that are censoring what you're carrying in your pockets and stuff like that, what they're looking at, they're in a whole other room. They can't see your face. They just see the images of your body. They don't have your name. You know why they're in another room? Why? So that we can't hear their laughter. That would be true. That would be inappropriate for us to hear their laughter. Their jeers. Well, Heathrow Airport is one of the... I've been cracking up all the time. Heathrow Airport is one of the first airports to have these body scanners. They're around the country at the biggest airports right now, Heathrow being one of them. A 25-year-old male who remains nameless who works at the airport was one of the lucky guys, in probably Woods' mind, who gets to check out these images.

11:16Well, one of his co-workers, a female co-worker, had to walk through the body scanner recently. He took a picture of the scanned image with his cell phone and got caught for doing it. Wow. So now he knows. I mean, it's not like she's standing there naked and he has a picture of her. It's a little blurry, but you can see a lot more than you can. It's like x-ray vision, you know? That's sexy. And so this guy is in a lot of trouble. You think so? Yeah. Yeah. Stop, because it's creeping me out. I think he should be in a lot of trouble. The weird thing is, I believe he still has his job. It says here that he just got a police warning. Oh, of course. But the female employee is making a big deal about it. I'm sure he'll lose his job. Weird. Because she's not coming back to work. She feels threatened, you know. But I would, too. How creepy is that? How long did that take? This happened on the 10th of March. When he got caught. Who cares? I said, how long is it going to take? And you know what? Honestly, when I first heard about it, I thought it was going to be celebrities. It's not even celebrities. It's just like normal people. Yeah. It's just a bad idea from the beginning. We know that it's going to be a bad invasion of privacy. The reason they're doing it, obviously, is to see what people are packing. We don't want to get any sort of ammunition. I don't want them to know what I'm packing. Some of us don't mind. Oh, really?

12:37It's a body. I would rather be safe, you know? I don't necessarily feel like it is safe now. Really? Yeah, who knows what kind of technology is beaming through your body to see that. Yeah, that's a whole other issue. As far as the privacy is concerned, have a ball. Really? Yeah, whatever. Well, yeah, guess what? They're getting one. Let's see. M1 Mark, are you there? How's it going? Good, man. What's up? I'm driving down the egg, going to work. Right on. I just, you know... Back in 2001, I was in prison in Salinas, California, man, and I used to listen to you on the radio up there. Wow, dude. And I've been listening to you ever since. You know, I really like your show. Were you listening on KSJO or were you listening on a station out of Monterey? No, it was a station out of San Jose. That's KSJO, yeah. Yeah, I remember when the Raiders went to the Super Bowl, man, you guys did this contest. And, like, I think somebody got a tattoo and another guy, like, cut a big chunk out of the top of his car for Raiders tickets. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. That was crazy, man. Memory lane. That's right. And you've been listening that long, Mark? I've been listening that long, man. Ever since then, I was hooked, dude. That's awesome. I'd say he's an M1. You guys used to make fun of doing his underwear out in the parking lot and stuff. Yes, we did.

13:57Shaving his back or waxing his front or doing something to him. We were always doing something to that poor guy. Well, thank you, dude. I'm glad you're still listening to us. Yeah, you're welcome, man. I'm here at work. I'm over on the 8th freeway doing a bridge expansion, man. Nice. It's a man's work, dude. No doubt. You are a man. Thank you very much. Thanks, dude. All right. Hey, thanks a lot, man. I love the show. Thank you. Hi. Solid. That boy, Blunder, we used to make him do the craziest stuff, especially in Dallas. Oh, man. Brutal. Poor guy, man. We dressed him up as a, it took forever to find. But we, you know, he was a large guy. You know, he was a big guy. You met Blunder before, haven't you, Sienna? Yeah. He was a big guy. I mean, big. And we put him in a Dallas Cowgirl outfit. Oh, no. Sent him to the streets, too, didn't you? Sent him to the streets. Mm-hmm. You know, with his goatee. Yeah, it was brutal. And we had him holding a sign saying, listen to the Mikey show. And got a lot of attention. Big guy out there with a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader outfit on. Why? Well, you don't expect to see that, do you? You know what I mean? Mikey actually invented sign spinning before there was sign spinning. Blunder was the first. Right. First out there spinning it up. Poor guy. So there you go, Body Scan fans. Hope you enjoy that one. Having your junk be photographed for the world to see.

15:23Because you know some yahoo is going to take a picture of it with his cell phone. Yeah. Bring it on. Really, he's going to, some dude's like, look, it's Woodsy from the Mikey show. Let's take a picture. Feast. Okay. Feast. That's what I say. Enjoy that, my friend. Enjoy. If that's what you need, have a ball. All right? You can see, like, the inside of a belly button. You know? Good. It's crazy. It's on the whole thing. More publicity. You can see the muffin topping. Muffin topping. The muffin topping. You can see the muffin topping. Hey, dude looks like a cupcake right here, okay? You can see moobs. Moobs. Kids are real proud of it, right? It's fun. There you go, guys. Enjoy. Take a picture. It lasts longer. Yep. It's true, Hoyle. It's true. What's the study about the male and female brain? What is that about? Well, I was reading this last night, and this is from Dr. Luann Brizendine, who's a member of the American Board of Psychiatry. She wrote this book about, you know, the differences between the brains. And the biggest difference is, surprise, surprise, men's sexual pursuit, the area part of their brain is two and a half times bigger than the women's. Vindicated. Thank you. Vindicated. See, it's not my fault.

16:43I was born this way. You were. I mean, it's true. That's what she says. I was born this way. Tell that to Elon Woods. Oh, no. He was born that way. But it says beginning in their teens, men produced 200-250% more testosterone than they did during pre-adolescence. But this is crazy. If testosterone were a beer, a nine-year-old boy would be getting the equivalent of a cup a day. Are you kidding me? It's great. I know. So it starts at 9? No wonder, dude. No wonder. We are the way we are when we're like 12 and 13 and 34, whatever. Pepper, I want to know what your thoughts are on that because I know that I sort of sense that there are times where you kind of roll your eyes at men like, really? Is it really that hard, fellas? You know, I kind of get that. Maybe I'm off. Yeah. Well, you can. control certain urges. You know, sometimes we have urges to haul off and slap somebody. Wow. You know? I bet that urge... I bet that urge... You mean as a female, you mean? As anyone. As a person? You may be right.

17:50But I would venture to guess that that urge does not occur as often as these particular urges in question. It's not scientific either, Lauren. This is scientific proof. This is. And I'm going to tell you that she refers to something that the men's brain does called a man trance is what she calls it. And she says that that's from the testosterone part of the brain. And that's the glazed eye look that guys get when they see a woman's breasts. Hey, you know, finally vindication. I finally got like a get out of jail free card, man. With all the ladies you're with, Frankie? Yeah, all those girls. You know, like all the time my girlfriends are always like, why do you got to look at her breasts? All the time. Really? Is that what they say? Yeah, and I'm always like, I can't help it. I am attracted to them. I'm in the, what's it called? The brain trance? The man trance. I'm in the man trance right now. Yeah, I'm in a man trance right now. That's so great. So weird I've never had a man look at me and get the man trance. Not packing enough heat. I don't know, O'Brien. I dig you, man. I am so in. I am in. I always have to fight back my...

19:08You know? Urges. Urges. That's why you always want to hang out with her and not Woods. Yeah. Well, me and Woods are like best friends, man. It's totally different. You know, that's, you know, why would I be attracted to Woods? Yeah, I don't know. We're just best friends, man. Besties. That's all. Yeah. Yeah, we're besties. We're besties. Right, Woodsy? That's right. You guys should get matching tattoos or something. Let's get matching tattoos or something. We should. We should. Maybe like a yin and a yang and then put them together. Oh, that's a good one. Like I'll get the one on the inside of my forearm and you get it on the other. No, no, no. Get it on your cheek and then you put your cheeks together. Oh, cheek to cheek? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah! That's too much. I just want to say, just because I'm telling you guys this doesn't mean you can go home and tell your wives or your girlfriends. It's okay to check out her rap. You can't argue with science. Okay, but think about this. There are guys that are really good at hiding the looking. Those guys, they can fight science, so it's possible. I never matter. I just have to say that part. It's science. I now have an excuse.

20:14I'm in a man trance. Leave me alone. That's why my eyes are glazed. She also said that there's something called the doting daddy brain, which is when your wife or girlfriend is pregnant, men lose 30% of their testosterone production because of the endorphins and the pheromones that she is. When's that happen? When your wife is pregnant. When you're about to be a dad. Really? Yeah, the testosterone and that need goes way down. The need for speed? The need for the rack. Keep in mind, all science is just theory. It's not fact. It's such a thing as a fact. I'm taking this one and running. Let me ask you, Pepper. Do you believe in this science? I'm willing to give it some sort of validation. Yeah, sure. What else could explain it? There's one more point, too, that I want to get to. What's that? And that's that men, their brain falls in love faster than women. 100%. Yeah, remember? We talked about it. Me and Mikey, week one. Yeah, Woodsy and I, if we're feeling it, we're like, I love you. I love you. You guys fell in love. Oh my God, we're on three dates. Yeah. Or you just draw it on their hands. Okay. One time. One time too many. One time you mimed it on somebody's hand. I was a sophomore. Did you do a heart or did you spell out love? I spelled it with my index. L-O-V-E words.

21:41I think about it and I get the dork chills. Oh, God. I got the dork chills for you. That's so great. But if I had come out of there as a sophomore and you were a sophomore as well and I'd have been like, you know what I just did? I probably would have thought it was money. You'd have been like, dude, that's money. You totally would have. Woodsy's picking the music today. R.E.M. Near Wild Heaven. Tiger Woods finally agreed to hold a press conference and let them fire away with the questions. No more of this, like, one interview with one person. I mean, it's like press conference, ask away. That kind of deal. Man. And we're going to... Why does he have to do this? Seriously. I think the reason that... I think you said the key word, has... to do this. I think the reason that he's doing it, because it goes against everything Tiger Woods wants to do. I know. He's playing a game. I think the reason he's doing it is because people that are around him that are paid very well to be professional and know how to recover from, what's he? Woods is choking on his water. Woods, is he alright? Wrong hole. Uh oh. That was a lot to him. Wrong hole. I think that the deal is, is that he needs to.

22:49Professional people have told him that if you want to be able to have any kind of professional career moving forward, you need to stand in front of the firing squad and answer what they've got for you. But what about his wife? We'll talk about it later. Yeah, we'll talk about it. What I have for you is I'm going to tell you when that's going to take place. Because they've made the announcement on when it's going to take place. And then also you want to hear what Arnold Palmer thinks about all of it. Love that drink. So we'll do it. Coming up. A little iced tea and lemonade. This Saturday at 4th and B. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. This unique brand of ethereal dream pop and electronica live this Saturday at 4th and B. Ticketmaster.com for your tickets to see air this Saturday. Must be 21 with proper ID. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Now you can. Get exceptional offers on new and certified pre-owned BMWs during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas. Lisa 2010 BMW 128i Coupe.

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27:13That's important. Just ask Mike here. Hey. Mike worked late tonight, so he had to record the ball game. Yeah, but when I got home, my whole family was watching some show in the den. Families will do that, Mike. Thanks for the tip. Luckily, you first let you record shows on one DVR and play them on any TV in the house. Cable can't do that. So the game I recorded, I can watch it on the TV in the basement? Yep. How about my bedroom? Sure. Rumpus room? No problem. Closet? Put a TV in your closet? Why, is that weird? Only AT&T U-Verse lets you record and play your shows in any room with a single DVR. And now you can build a U-Verse bundle starting at $99 a month and get $100 back via promotion cards with qualifying services. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT, visit an AT&T store, or click att.com slash tv. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Go to att.com slash tv to see if you qualify. Taxes, early termination fees, and other charges apply. One year term required for bundled U-Verse services offered in 71710. For details, visit att.com slash tv details. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000. or more in credit card debt over the past year our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations we now face a similar issue threatening the american public by being burdened with credit card debt to aid the financial recovery of the american people we are taking equally swift and serious action

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30:48Earlier crash there, clear traffic also brought to you by Advil PM. Spend less time lying awake with annoying aches and pains and more time asleep with Advil PM. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9. Now back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Tumbling dice, stones, woodsy pick. Welcome. What is today, Thursday? Yeah, it's day, what, 39 on the Mikey Show. Nice. My boys are, they look like they're pink eye free. Oh, yay. That's good. The little ones had it too? Just Ryan. Oh, poor kid. I know. The sweetest guy. Luke scared it away. Yeah, Luke was like, get out of my face. Get out of here. He was like, get. He squinted his eyes and the pink eye was like, okay. I'm out. Not messing with this guy. Yeah. And I do this thing where if somebody in my house has a cough, I'm constantly like, do I have a tickle? I think that was a tickle. Weird, weird, weird, weird, weird, weird. I think I had a, no. Was it a tickle?

32:08People don't do that. I do that. You ever heard of psychosomatic? Psychosomatic? Yeah. I'm psychosomatic. I'm like, oh, I have something wrong with my eye. Even though there's nothing wrong with my eye, I'm like, oh, what is that? Hypochondriac. You guys remember last Friday, I licked a $20 bill out of my wallet. Yeah? Yeah, how could we forget? Yeah, I'm fine, by the way. It's true. For now. Now, Mikey. would be in the ER. Oh, yeah. I go to the ER. Urgent care. I licked a 20. I'm a mistake. Can you give me shots of, I don't know, Demerol? I thought it was a stamp. Yeah, I thought it was a stamp. I licked a 20. I stuck it on the back of the envelope. My wife was like, that's a 20, dear. And I was like, oh, my gosh. I can't believe it. I got to go to the urgent care. Yeah. Test me for HIV. Test me for everything. Run every test you can think of. Rabies. Scurvy. Bubonic plague. Seemingly. Seemingly. Salmonella. Yeah, salmonella. Test me. Test me. I need help. I am ready. I'm, like, extra pumped. You know that. Listen to the delay in this woods. The second verse. Oh, yeah. Dramatic. It's dramatic.

33:28We talked yesterday about the new playoff rule change in the NFL. If you haven't heard it yet, basically the way that Mikey summed it up was a team can't win a game in overtime in the playoffs on a field goal. So they went out, they talked to some NFL coaches. Here's what the Seattle Seahawks new head coach and King Clown Pete Carroll said about it. You're only saying that because you're a Notre Dame fan. I really like the proposal. I like what we're talking about as a potential change. I kind of wish it would have been instituted for the entire season. Yeah, I do too. I think it makes sense. Change. Change. Yeah. Change. Change. Say it, Pete. I don't know. I've ever heard Pete speak. Well. I really like the proposal. You know, I like what we're talking about as a potential change. Say it. Or as a change. And I kind of wish it would have been instituted for the entire season. To me, it look like a leprechaun to me. I got to do a little bit of a treat. Who else in the leprechaun say yeah? Yeah! Amazing. Tiger Woods will hold his first press conference on Monday, April the 5th at Augusta. He will be fielding questions. Stop it, O'Brien. Why? Why? Come on. He'll be fielding questions from reporters. One golf legend has some advice on how to handle himself. Golf legend Arnold Palmer. Cut to two. I think it's up to him to do and say whatever he feels he needs to do. Sounds old.

34:54redeem the situation, put it in the proper place. I suppose the best thing he could do would be open up and just let you guys shoot at him. I love how he put that too, dude. Isn't that great? Yeah. Isn't that great? I mean, I get the feeling because he's from that older era. You know, he just thinks this is nonsense. He does. He does. There's no question. And it breaks my heart because I love Arnold Palmer because my dad loves Arnold Palmer. That guy sounds old. It's weird that your voice... gets older. You know what I mean? I wonder what actually happens in there. I don't know. Tiger has got his work cut out for him, though. It's going to be tough after this layoff. Arnold thinks so, too. Cut three. I can't fathom taking five months off and going to Augusta unless you have to. Unless the circumstances make it that you have no choice, then I suppose that's what you do. And Tiger has no choice. How old You know, like in football, you can't continue to play football into your 40s, really. You can. A couple of guys like, you know, Barb and whatever. But for the most part, guys don't really do very well in their 40s in the NFL or in boxing or whatever. In golf, how long can you keep playing and be good? Until you're dead. Really? Until you're dead, yeah. Can he? Yeah. What he'll do, it's something that's tradition. He'll hit the first shot at the Masters, which is just always the coolest thing. He'll step up on the first tee.

36:22I don't know if he'll play in the Par 3 tournament, which they have on Wednesday before the tournament. They have a Par 3 course, which is only Par 3 holes. And he will usually play in that. He may be getting a little too old. I'll check with the old man, see what he says. Because I wonder what the, like, nah, you know what? You can play until you're dead, man. I mean, you see, when you and I hit balls, there's 80-year-olds out there just driving them straight. Do you think Arnold Palmer could still, at his age, beat you on your best day? No question. Really? Yeah, no question. No way. It's Arnold Palmer, dude. Dude, I just thought your skills diminish. I'm terrible. He probably can't do a full course. I bet he can. Really? On a cart, yeah. On a cart? And he could still beat you? Yeah, he got beat. It's Arnold Palmer. Come on, Mike. I just thought, hey, listen, I thought that at a certain age your skills diminish. You can't, you know, you can no longer. If he gets to the green in the same amount that I do, he's going to win. You're done. He putts. You know, he's Arnold freaking Palmer. There was a story yesterday that really bummed me out. One of my favorite baseball players of all time, Doc Gooden, was arrested again for driving under the influence of drugs, leaving the scene of the accident. The worst part about it, Mike, he had his five-year-old son in the car. He just can't get out of his own way, dude. And I've always loved Doc. Pitched a no-hitter for the Yanks, won a World Series with the Yanks.

37:40We're really bummed out. The Eagles are entertaining offers for Donovan McNabb. Are you serious? Yeah, it looks like his time is probably up in Philly. The Bills and the Raiders are really looking at him, but he doesn't really want to play for a team on the rise. LLB, you're a big Eagles fan. What do you think? I think all good things must come to an end. Wow. Wow, man. Yeah, I'm not surprised. I thought it was a little soon, but... What I'm surprised about is that somebody else wants him. Really? Wow. How old is he? I don't know, 30? Yeah, I mean, 31, 32? No way. He's got to be older than that. He was drafted about 12 years ago. Yeah, so he was probably... About 32, 33. Really? Doesn't play like that. Wow. Hater. Unbelievable. No, I'm ready for a fresh set of legs. Fair enough. Do you guys remember we talked? Remember the night before the Super Bowl? Remember Warren Sapp got in some trouble? Yeah. And when he was working for the NFL Network, he had allegedly assaulted a girl that was in his room. Yeah. They've dropped all the charges. And he said via text message yesterday, the state attorney's office declined to file charges. The BS is over. You know what really stinks, though? Is what happened in everybody's brain when we heard about it. Yeah, exactly.

38:58Exactly. That's too bad. And there's a new epidemic in the NFL. What? Weed. Really? Yeah. I don't think it's new. I don't know how new it is. That's what I was going to say. Apparently, there are at least 10 to 11 first rounders who have been flagged for marijuana use. Guys only in the first round, too. Current players in the NFL? No, the guys that are about to come through the draft. Oh, oh. 10 or 11 of them. College guys. 10 or 11 first round. prospects have been flagged for marijuana use. Are they stupid? You've got to think, dude. Hey, I'm going to the draft. Maybe a clean house for a month. Stay off the weed. They're looking into it. I think it's not as big a story as I don't think it should be. That's Woods on sports, man. It's crazy. Shocking that you're about to go into the NFL and you don't stay off the pipe. And be a first round pick, no less. Crazy. Don't you think they're going to check, dude? Yeah, seriously. You're not going to skate under the radar. It's the NFL. Did you hear about Biden's latest? Yeah, dude likes to put his foot in his mouth. He likes to do stuff. Yum, yum, yum. Yeah. Well, he likes to say stuff he shouldn't say. He's introducing Barack Obama the day that they signed the health care reform bill. And as he's patting Obama on the back, he says this is a big effing deal. Only he says it.

40:21And Barack has a look on his face like, oh, man, shut up. There's microphones everywhere. Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States of America, Barack Obama. Unreal. Now, have you guys ever had one of these moments? Now, what I mean is, is that they could be, it could be that, where you make a mistake, right? Where you say something, you're like, oh, no, they were standing right there, blah, blah, blah. Like, Sienna, tell yours from the other day. This was great. This was fantastic. We're leaving our meeting. We always have meetings on Mondays. And we're walking out. It's the end of the day for us. And walking down the hallway. And we have a hallway filled with offices. And everyone's doors are always open. And I go to the rest of the group. Oh, it reeks like onions. Right as we're walking by an open office door where someone is delightfully in their own.

41:22office enjoying a nice... Lunchtime. A nice onion sandwich. A nice onion-y sandwich. And they look up. And who's standing at the front door? CNN, all of us. Me and you. Yeah, me and you. I had passed the door at that point. It was Mikey and I. We were like... Yeah, right. At least you guys weren't girls, though, because it was a girl voice. Well, kind of a girl voice. Mikey grabbed me and pulled me into our office and we ran in and we were like... It was the most overpowering. stench of onion I've ever smelled. It's pretty bad. How about Matt Lauer talking to Robert Kennedy's son when he did Robert Kennedy Jr. is well known as the son of former Attorney General and Senator Robert F. Kennedy and also as an environmental lawyer and Democratic activist. But you may not know that he's also an author of children's books. I want to talk about the book in a second because I love the story. I really do. But can I first ask, how's your dad doing? I mean, yeah, how's your dad doing? My uncle. I'm sorry, my uncle. I'm sorry. Oh, no. Oh, no. Awkward, uncomfortable. My dad was assassinated. Oh, my God. These make me so uncomfortable.

42:30Maybe you didn't get the memo. I'm crawling out of my skin right now. My dad, he's not with us anymore. Yeah, he was shot and killed. Seer hand, seer hand. But he's fine. Yeah, uncle's fine. Is that what you meant, my uncle? My dad's good from the grave. Yeah, he's wonderful. He sends his regards. From the grave. He said, if you talk to Matt, let him know I'm still dead and to say hello. Awful. How about this one? Oh, no. This is a girl that goes to the University of Southern California. And she had the opportunity to interview John Cusack. The legend. The legend, John Cusack. And John happens to look a little bit like another actor. You think so? Maybe. This girl thought so. This girl thought so. Because she got him confused. Now, the interesting thing I want to point out as you listen to this is how much humor. John has about it. How are you doing? Nice to see you. Sorry. It's funny. I actually was just text messaging with a friend because I'm missing class right now. You are? And my film class. And it's so funny because they're watching American Beauty today and analyzing it. American Beauty? What's funny about that? American Beauty? No. Please stop. I'm not in that. That's not you?

44:03No. Really? No. Really? Keep asking him. Am I just very confused? I think you are. I think I am. Okay. Yeah. I'm so... I know. I get tense. I get tense. I get tense as I listen to it. They never aired that for good reason. Oh, my goodness. I'm going to vomit. And if you can see him in his chair, he's like... Every adjustment that he does is like, please don't punch her in the face. Please don't punch her in the face. I mean, okay. First of all, he could have been a lot cooler about it, but she could have stopped asking. Are you really? No. Wait. You're positive. Do you swear? Do you swear? What if he goes? Do you swear to God? What if he goes? Wait a minute. Oh. Wait. Yeah, no. I was. I was. I was in that. You just, yeah. Do you swear? Cross your heart. Cross your heart. She kept asking. I was like, oh my God. Kevin Spacey's body double. They look nothing alike. Nope. It might have upset him more that she did sort of have that sorority kind of thing going on. Am I just confused? Am I just confused? He's like, maybe you've seen Better Off Dead. Ski school. Ski school. Maybe. Serendipity. Say anything? Yeah. He has a great sense of humor about it. Yeah. I wasn't in that. I wasn't in that.

45:16Yeah, you're stupid. I once interviewed someone when the movie The Marine with John Cena came out. I was at the red carpet of that. And I interviewed, I don't even remember her name. She was in like Nip Tuck or something. And I didn't remember her name. And there was a point where I went to say her name and then I paused. And she was like, you don't remember my name, do you? Oh my God. Are you kidding? You're kidding me. I'm not. I'm not kidding you. It was awful. There was a San Diego Charger. First one. First one for you. That wasn't even bad. That was not dumb for you. I don't know. Somebody got dumb. That's the first time in almost five years. Wow. I've never been dumb. I've been dumb four times in 38 shows. She used to come in on the regular. Regularly, funnily enough. Now, what I would say, now, what I'll say is it was probably like two times, three times a year. Is that on the reg? No. No? Periodically. Periodically. She would come in periodically. And at this very moment, did she ever come in when we were working together, Sienna? Did the girls come in? No. I want to say.

46:42That her name was... It's a hard name for me to remember for whatever reason. My brain struggles with it. Marlena. That was her name? Or Marlena. It's Marlena or Marlena. Or Macarena. Big difference there, too. It was one of the two. And she used to not really dig that I couldn't remember it. And I eventually... I had to have Eddie write it down for me so that I had it right in front of me because I couldn't remember. Hello, Marlena. With the punctuation in parentheses next to it. And I would always put my foot in my mouth because I would say the wrong one. So I finally had to fix it by having it written down in front of me. Just call her, hey, you. Yeah. How you doing, hon? If you have done this where you've had the foot in the mouth, 5701949, Woodsy? I was in the Dallas airport. And big, big baseball fan, as you guys know.

47:41Bigger Yankee fan. And I see a big, tall dude with this mustache. And I'm like, that's Catfish Hunter. I walk up to him and I'm like, we're in Starbucks. And I'm like, oh, my God, it's Catfish Hunter. It's Catfish Hunter. And I'm looking at him like, is it Catfish Hunter? And I order my coffee and I go, hey, you're Catfish Hunter, aren't you? He goes. No, I'm Goose Gossage. Catfish Hunter's dead. Oh, my gosh. I was like, oh, my gosh. See you later. Oh, my gosh. I was like, oh, my God. Why did I do that? Oh, my gosh. I know, dude. It's so nasty. I don't know who either of those people are. So gnarly. It's definitely awkward. So gnarly. Have you ever done one where you didn't even know that what you were doing was wrong? Have you ever done that? And you found out later, maybe? Oh, I kept going with one. Yeah. I was babysitting for this family. Yeah, I was babysitting for this family and I had babysat just during the day with the mother gone, you know, several times. And then she's like, you know what, we're going to take it to the next level. I'm going to go out to dinner with my husband and you can actually stay longer with the baby because the baby is only like six months old. Right. So this particular time she was still gone and she left me with her husband and we're sitting there talking. He's like, so what do you do? And I'm like, well, you know, I work for a software company.

49:00It's kind of awkward because I'm marketing, I'm a creative mind, and everyone I work with is software engineers. And so sometimes you know engineers, how they are to talk to, and blah, blah, blah. And I'm going on and on and on. I'm like 22, idiot. Right. And he keeps letting me go, shaking his head, shaking his head. And after about five minutes, I was like, anyway, so what do you do? He's like, I'm an engineer. I'm a mechanical engineer. Of course he is. My wife's father's an engineer. Yeah. My wife's brother's an engineer. Yeah. We're a family of engineers. I was like, oh. And then I started backing it up like, well, you know, no, no. I only met, I only met. Software. Software. Mechanical is cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're really cool. They are so cool. My boyfriend, in fact. That's what he does. Yeah, yeah. All of my lovers. I meant train engineer. Right, I knew it. Every man I've ever been really sexually attracted to has been a mechanical engineer. They are hot. They're so hot. So funny. Not as you, but, I mean, like, hot, you know. Not that I'm hitting on you. Not that I'm hitting on you at all. But I would if you would make this go away. If this goes away, I'll sleep with you. Yeah, yeah.

50:06Definitely, for sure. Needless to say, he never called me. They never called me. That's unbelievable. How about the, now this may be a fictional character, but this was actually our girl, Pepper O'Brien, in a video that you can find on YouTube where she's playing a girl that's putting her foot in her mouth. Well, the funny thing was, I was trying to find some clips for this segment here, and so I Googled, or no, I'm sorry, I YouTubed foot and mouth. And this was one of the top videos. So funny. She plays a drunk girl at an office party in a commercial for the San Diego Union-Tribune. Yes. And she's just supposed to be a girl that's had too much to drink and puts her foot in her mouth while her boss is standing behind her. Jim. Yes. Okay. So Jim. No, no, no, no. I'll tell you something about Jim. Jim is cheap. He likes his cheap woman and his cheap champagne or whatever you want to call it. I think we've heard enough, Jenny. Thanks, though. Hi, Jim. Hi, Jim. Hi, Jim. Well, I've been better. Say something to yourself. I hope the rest of my employees are a little more appreciative of what we're trying to do here. We were just telling the camera. I think that much is obvious. That's not what I think I heard.

51:25What do you think you heard? Yeah, you think maybe? Yeah, it was cheap. What do you think you heard? What do you think you heard? I heard something about cheap, and then some more about cheap, and let me see, there was a third mention of cheap. We're talking about sweet. Sweet. Well, don't tell him. Right, guys? That's what we're talking about. Don't insult me on top of insulting me, okay? That's genius. I appreciate that. You got that right. Again. Oh, you got so busted. I don't care. Don't insult me on top of insulting me. Lauren and Sienna, do you guys know who Jim Kelly is? Yes. Famous football player. Hall of Famer. Quarterback. Yeah, really good quarterback. Played for the Buffalo Bills. Went to four Super Bowls for the Buffalo Bills. Then he ran into the Cowboys. Then he did. Ralph Wilson is in my family. Is he really? I thought I'd throw that out there. Then you should know who Jim Kelly is. I know, and of course I don't. You don't? He's very famous, very famous and very good football player. Well, I met him at the NFL draft one time. I was lucky enough to be on the draft floor. And there he is walking around staring at commercial break. So I walk up to Jim Kelly. I'm like, wow, I'm standing in front of Jim Kelly. This guy is very famous and I'm very short. He's very tall, very handsome. I'm very not. But hey, listen, I'm very excited to meet him. So I walk up to him, introduce myself, shake his hand and I proceed to ask him a question.

52:50That apparently is very well known, but I don't know. Now, the only reason I'm asking him the question is because we're at the draft and it has to do with the draft. It is, I think it's in context, right? So I say to him, Jim, what team were you drafted by? Well, what I didn't know was that there was a great big giant controversy surrounding Jim Kelly where he actually forwent the draft, which caused a lot of hard feelings with the NFL and with a lot of fans. They thought he was a sellout. What he decided to do is accept more money to go play for the USFL, a little known football league that was starting up. And that stuck with him for years and years and years. So I go, hey, what team were you drafted by? Did he punch you in the face? He said, he goes, you know that story. And I instantly, my heart sank into my stomach because I didn't know the story, but I could tell by just his posture and the way that he said it. that whatever it was wasn't good, and I just stepped in it. So what did you say? I go, I don't know. I don't know the story. He goes, yeah, you do. You know what the story is. You're just asking me to get me to say it. Oh, God. And I'm like, oh, this is not happening. You don't need to say anything. We'll just change the subject. Did you run? What did you have for lunch today? Dude, he goes, I just stood there and kind of looked at him dumbfounded, and he goes, I was supposed to be drafted, but I decided to go play for the USFL. And I go,

54:18I really didn't. I really, I really, I really. Sorry, big man. No, the big man. Big man. Oh. Gave you the chief. That is so uncomfortable. Gave you the pat. Pat on the shoulder and walked away. What did you do? Did you wet your pants? I stood there like a dumb fat guy. I would have cried. I would have been done. That was awful. End of my radio career. M1 Tanya. Hey, how are you? Good. Well, great. Great. I actually have a story. It's not about me, but it's about my mom. Sure. She's a sweet, sweet lady, but I swear she must have been blonde in another life. Yeah. She's just sometimes a little bit out there. And we were down in South Texas and we're at this hotel, and my mom sees Willem Dafoe. And she goes up to him because she's like, I know that guy. And she goes, she's like, where do I know you from? She's like, I can't figure out where I know you from, but I know you. And he's like, no, we don't know each other. She's like, no, no, I know you. He's like, no, I'm pretty sure we don't. She just kept insisting until these two ladies come up and ask for his autograph.

55:20And then she tries to get his autograph, and he's like, you don't even know who I am. Oh, dude. He's really, really sweet, though. He went ahead and, like, gave her his autograph anyway. But my mom, I was just laughing at her the whole entire time. That's great. Thank you, Tanya. I appreciate it. I will tell you this. Willem Dafoe is, I wouldn't, you know, he's not necessarily like the Brad Pitt of actors, you know? I mean, that probably was. Some people just want the autograph. Could be. I know someone who carries an autographed book in her purse in case of emergencies. Just in case she meets somebody famous. Don't want to miss it. You can call about this if you want to. You know Ed Helms from The Office? He plays Andy. The nard dog. He's great. The best. He was on Leno last night. He played a pretty cool game at We'll Try, too. See if you could play basically the ideas. You try to identify celebrity voiceovers in commercials. I'm in. Me and Jamie do it all the time. Yeah. All the time. You know, you hear and you'll be like, is that? That's Alec Baldwin? I think that's Alec Baldwin. The lady that does the Hidden Valley commercials, she was in Back to School. I hear her all the time. Yeah, Sally Killerman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. I knew that. That's good. All right, so we'll try our hand at that. We'll do it coming up next.

56:42Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Magic automotive perfection and a very affordable monthly payment. Bob Baker Subaru, Carlsbad, and El Cajon has it all. Like new 2010 Subaru Impreza 2.5i's for only $169 plus tax a month. That's new 010 Bob Baker Subaru Impreza 2.5i's, just like our unit number, 505485, with automatic power windows and locks, CD player, all-wheel drive, and much more, just $169 a month. Model AJB, $1,999 at drive-off, 10,000 miles per year, 15 cents per mile in excess, 42-month closed-end lease on approved credit. It's the Love Spring event and much more at Bob Baker Subarus, two big locations, Car Country, Carlsbad, and just west of Parkway Plaza, El Cajon, or anytime at BobBakerSubaru.com. The Bob Baker Auto Group, where it's so nice to be nice.

57:50Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What'd you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinated for 24 hours. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man. We're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Maybe I should write a jingle. Do you remember when you used to dial up to access the Internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed. And now you're doing more and more on the Internet. Facebook and Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with dial up.

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1:02:48Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Preparation H Maximum Strength Cream. Preparation H Maximum Strength Cream is for burning, itching, plus pain relief on contact. It's the most complete relief from Preparation H. In La Mesa, Westbound, after Lake Murray Boulevard injury crash with a semi-truck and a few other cars involved, now clear traffic moving well past the scene again. 805 northbound before Telegraph Canyon Road earlier crash there with a solo vehicle that went off the roadway into bushes, also clear traffic should be moving well past the scene of that one. Traffic also brought to you by Advil PM. and less time lying awake with annoying aches and pains, and more time asleep with Advil PM. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9. Financial media station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. It's Woodsy's Friends Band, Saints on Fire. Up the Saints. Welcome back. So Ed Helms from The Office. We know Ed Helms. He plays Andy. The best. I love his character. The best.

1:04:28He's the guy that says this. That was an overreaction. That's right. I didn't even know that. That's right. It's an overreaction. When he punched a hole in the wall. He has kind of an interesting talent that he's able to do. And it's to identify celebrity voices in advertisements. And so he did it for Jay Leno. See if we could do it. Prior to the break, we discussed the fact that you did voiceovers, and you still do them. Lots of voiceovers. Oh, very good. And you have a unique talent. Tell people about this. Oh, well, I'm sure a lot of people can do this. I have a knack for identifying celebrity voices in commercials when I hear them. All right. Okay, now we put together a few commercials. Okay. Here's what we're going to do. If you know what the voice is, say Sienna, Woods, or Lauren. Scream it out like we do during the Name That Tune? Yeah, say your name, we'll stop it, and we'll see if you're right. The real ones, let's see if you can identify them. Here is the first commercial. Go ahead. There's Mozart's Piano Sinatra. Woods. Jeff Bridges. You are right. Wow. You are right. In B-flat major. Got it. Susan Sarandon.

1:05:51No, that's Jeff Bridges. Jeff Bridges, right? Very good, very good. Good job, Woods. Thanks, buddy. I love this game. That was an easy one. That was sort of a sorbet. Oscar winner. To cleanse the palate. This one's a little trickier. Let's go to our second one. Errol Lynch. We have over 15,000 financial advisors. Woods. Sam Watterson. Let's see. You create a strategy to consolidate, manage, and invest your assets, which could make your second act. Better than you first. No, I'm wrong. Oh, that's tricky. I couldn't hear it very well. Boy, was that Kiefer Sutherland? No, no. He paid a fighter Oscar winner. Robert De Niro? No, no. That is Willem Dafoe. Oh, Willem Dafoe. Again. I wouldn't have got that. No way. You're now 50-50. Let's move on.

1:06:55Let's go to our next one. Edmunds.com said, Hyundai just might take over the world with this thing. Caranddriver.com. Catherine Keener. Just call it impressive. If you're right, that's really incredible. It's the girl that played the girlfriend on 40-Year-Old Virgin. Correct. Oh, wow. And Motortrend.com added, this could be America's next bestseller. I think you're right. Oh. Oh, it's on the tip of my tongue. Okay. But I... Give me initials. Come on. Throw me a bone here. The initials are CK. Wow. That is huge. You play this all the time? All the time. My wife, I'm like, honey, name that voice. She's getting really good at it, too. You notice the half-ass applause you got. I deserve that. Here's another one.

1:07:56So when the time comes to bust open a can of doing, we've got all the tools for all the things we need to make them happen. Woods. Woods. Ed Harris. We'll see. More doing. That's the power. You are good. Love this game. Oh, wow. All right. Apparently, I'm really bad at this. Wow, this is embarrassing. It is. Woods, you're good at this. Great. Oh, no. Who's that? No, what is that? I actually can't hear it very well. You can't hear very well. Okay, who is that? That was Ed Harris. Yes, of course it was. Man, dude. How embarrassing for him not to know. I know. He's like, I'm really good at this game. Life is full of unexpected expenses. Twins. How much water? Got it. Oh, oh. Both. I think that was Kiefer. It was like 18 different. I heard like 18, but I think the first one was Kiefer. His hearing returned, ladies and gentlemen. That, my friends, is Kiefer. That is correct. You were like four. Four out of five. Four out of five. I missed the default. Wow. Love that game, dude. How great is that? Love that game. By the way, a little bit later on.

1:09:07you're going to be hearing a ride-along with Larry King and Snoop Dogg. Yes. What? I'm not kidding. Full shizzle. That's correct. I just remembered something. Can I show you guys really quick? Sure. What is it? Oh, my God. No way. No way. Do I hold in my hand? It's like the Lost Ark. Yeah, it is. It is. We just found the Ark of the Covenant. I just remembered that I had it with me. Oh, my gosh. Do I hold in my hand right now. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Your childhood weird collection of got milk ads. I love my little sister, Waverly. She had it. I asked her. Wait, it's backwards. Backwards. Oh, my gosh. I didn't keep it in very good condition. I thought I did better, but I didn't. There was Rugrats with the chocolate milk. Who's that? Rebecca Romijn? Rebecca Romijn. The little boy from Jerry Maguire. Jonathan Lippinicki. Do you see something? Okay, when I was in middle school. You know what? We have to scan them. We have to. Oh, look. Oh, my gosh. I told you. When I was in middle school, I collected gut milk ads. I'm a dork. I know. But I.

1:10:31I did, and I even put reinforcers on them in the binder to make sure that they stayed. I taped them. So that they go on the three-ring binder, there's little three-ring reinforcers. I think I must have had them on my wall at one point because on some of them there's tape on the top. Oh, my gosh, Sienna. I know. Yeah. I think I had them on my wall. Of all the things, like imagine that you're a kid. How old were you? Middle school, probably sixth grade. Okay, so you're like 12 or 11 or something like that? Yeah. And you have a crush on a girl, right? Yeah. You go over to her house. She has got milk ads. I said, get. Okay, it's all over. Okay, whatever. I'm a dork. This is fantastic. Yasmin Bleeth from Baywatch looking beautiful. Yasmin Bleeth with a milk mustache. These are all got milk ads. Now, we've got Steve Young. We have to scan these and put them on MikeyShow.com. And I was right. I did have Jonathan Taylor Thomas. He's in there. Wait till you see how cute he looks. These are all in a three-ring bind. Tyra Banks looking really good. My goodness. Who's that? John Elway. Pat Ewing looks like my first girlfriend. There's Dennis Rodman in there. You guys, the Backstreet Boys. Hanson. Oscar De La Hoya. Is that Jonathan Taylor Thomas? No, no. That's Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart. Look at Dennis Rodman.

1:11:54I'm too weird. I can't keep going. I can't keep going. I'm speechless. Wow. Hand me the binder. I have to show you Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and then I'll stop. I'm speechless. That is the mother load. My sister's there. You hit the mother load. And you know what else? Oh, wow. And you know what we have to do? He's so cute. At some point, off the air or whatever, we've got to count them. Backstreet Boys. We have to count them and see how many there are. Oh, my goodness. It looks like some of them have fallen out, too. Howard. Whole binderful. I love how she passed it on to her sister like it was a legacy. You take care of this. She said she wants it back. Yeah, of course she does. She loves me. I'm speechless. Thank God. Great work, Waverly. She is amazing. Can you imagine the night that that was like, you know, I'm going to give you something. I want to talk to you. The reason I've called you here to the library. I'm getting married now. I'm getting married. And so I want to give something to you that's very important to me. It's my got milk binder. You know what? This is going to be worth something one day. That's right. You heard me. It's my got milk binder. I promise you it's not. I promise you it's not. I got an email from an M1 who told me she did the same thing. I promise you it's not going to be worth it. You may get a nickel for it at some point. And that would probably be too much. I've never been part with it.

1:13:19Now that I know it's still in existence, I'm never going to part with it. Remember the Beanie Baby and the Garbage Pail Kids? That was the hardest thing I ever got rid of. There's a bunch of nerds right now kicking themselves. I wasted five years collecting Garbage Pail Kids. Whatever. Those are going to be worth something. I still have in one of my jewelry boxes a Ziploc bag with the Beanie Baby tags. I don't know why. That's fantastic. I don't know why. I love collectibles, dude. That's unbelievable. Sienna's got milk collection. That's awesome. It's like finding Noah's Ark just now, dude. That was insane. You don't know how hard it was for me not to call all of you guys and be like, I hate it! Sienna, can we scan them? Of course. That was awesome. Of course. Okay. All right. So, Sienna, tell everybody this story. Tell everybody this story about the... bank robbery where they called ahead to let people know. Oh, the really smart guys. Yeah. Yeah, this happened in Connecticut. A 27-year-old man named Albert Bailey and a 16-year-old boy who remains nameless due to his age, they called the People's United Bank on Tuesday. This is in Connecticut again. Told employees, get ready with money because we're on our way and we're going to be robbing you any minute now. So get ready. Brilliant. Hang up the phone. They show up 10 minutes later just as the cops are arriving.

1:14:42Really? That is the dumbest thing that you could possibly do. We're coming. Get ready. Now, let's see. I wonder what that might have sounded like. Uh-oh. Jay. We need you, Jay. We need you. The Groover. I wonder what that call to the bank may have sounded like. Good afternoon, Bank Teller. Hey, Bank Teller, you ready for me to bring on the heat, bring on the noise? Sorry? You ready for, you ready for, like, hardcore bank robbery? Um, uh, sure. We're going to rob you. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to rob you. We're going to be the day. So you better just know that when, about ten minutes from now, when we come in there, it's going to be hardcore, man. It's going to be bad, man. It's going to be, like, Snoop Dogg and, like, all, like, just hard, dude. Okay, I don't know who Snoop Dogg is, but, um, okay, you said ten minutes? You don't know who Snoop Dogg is? Stupid. Yeah, me and my friend are both coming in there, and... We're gonna rob your bank! I'm trying to disguise my voice! Robert Martin. What? What? You're supposed to call me the Shadow Dude.

1:16:02Shadow, why are you talking like that, dude? It's just stupid. I'm trying to disguise my voice. I don't want her to know who I am. You're weird, dude. We're going to be there in 10 minutes. When we come in there, man, whoo-wee, guns are blazing. It's going to be that scene from Heat. I'll be like De Niro, and he'll be like... Kill her. Kill her. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, that sounds pretty dangerous. Well, you know, we don't open for another 15 minutes. 15 minutes? Yeah. On the Internet? Great! I don't want to tell you guys how to do your job or anything. Well, I'm just saying, if I were you, I'd wait until the bank's open. You know what? You'll pay for that. She's going to get her today. Well, you do realize. This is not funny. Are you there? You're going to get yours today. Okay, well, you realize I have to call the police. Let's go, man. Let's go get her. Whatever. You know what? Ten. Count them down. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. Bane. Okay. And where are you located? I'm at. Well, right now, where are we, dude? Where are my parents? Shut up. Word is parentized. 27th. Oh, it's so stupid. Really? Yeah. All right. We have to go because we've got to come rob you guys. Okay, boys. We will see you. Yeah. Later. The Mickey Mouse. It sounded like Mickey Mouse was robbing a bank. What?

1:17:30You can be Mickey Mouse in Disney World. That was dead on. I don't know what we're talking about. Fantastic. It wasn't me. Fantastic. It's like Michael Jackson and Mickey Mouse. That was the shadow. I told you to call me the shadow. You're wearing jeans. You're rocking your new slims. I'm wearing my jeans. You are? Yeah. DJs? I'll be putting on my slims later. You want a pair of DJs? I got DJs on. You know that. Designer jeans? I can't believe you say that. He don't wear his cargo shorts anymore because he was shamed out of them. Yes. Big time. Sienna told him, listen, the cargo shorts for a 34-year-old guy like you. Dorky. Yeah, get out of them. In fact, Sienna says it doesn't matter who you are. Cargo shorts are kind of done unless you're going camping, right? Yeah, unless you're climbing a mountain. Or a carpenter. Yeah, or a carpenter. Or you're a carpenter. You need to get out of those. Yeah. Well, because he was shamed out of his cargo shorts, we have a little song for him for being shamed out of his cargo shorts. Just say goodbye to the cargo shorts. Good riddance. You ready? I'm ready.

1:18:55But recently he has been put in his place. When it comes to shorts, he's been slapped right in the face. He's ditching all his cargo shorts. He can't sleep at night. He's cut the cord. The kids made it right. He's been shamed so much by Pepper and by Red. He's called an audible and ditched the shorts instead. He's working hard, but he looked just like a clown. He bought some shorts where your legs go straight down. If you don't know just how this feels, his old shorts were tight. He's cut the cord, the kids made it right. They're tight. Oh my gosh. They're tight. I'm in heaven right now. That was great. Yes, it was. He's cut the cord. The kid is really alive. You've been shamed out of your cargo shorts. I have 100% so much, and I wrote a song about it. It's unbelievable. But how much better do you feel in the new ones? So much better. They're slimmer, guys. I look so much better. Do you? Yeah, I do. I do. I look so much better. I got to do it. Yep. I'm not quitting.

1:20:20Really? No, I'm not. If you're in on the cargo shorts, do it. You know what I mean? It's fine. Stay strong. I look so much better in them. I do. I feel better. I feel a foot taller. Stop it. I swear. Mikey, you should really go get some. Where? Where do I get them? Where do I go? I don't even know what to do. Old Navy. Old Gravy is where I got mine. Jamie told us that. Jamie Woods' wife was with him when he got the shorts. I was like, oh, where'd you get those? Those are nice. And she was like, Old Navy. You're like, that's funny. It sounded like you said Old Navy. Yeah. Any surf store has, you know, a bunch. Yep. Great. Hope they carry them in size 64. You guys don't need 87 pockets on the side. Mikey is on the Old Navy site right now. He doesn't mess around. I love him. She found him. She gave him to me. I was like, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. And I walked in, and I did it. I walked in. She's like, oh, my God. They look so great. I was like, yeah, they do look good. Yeah. Check out my butt. This is Woodsy's pick, Ryan Bingham, the weary kind, from the movie Crazy Heart. So good, dude. Woodsy's got good taste in music, man. I'll try.

1:21:35So we got an email that we're going to do for you. I love it already. I've never heard it. I'm already loving it. So I got this email I got to read to you about, it's just going to, everybody is going to just calm down when I tell you this topic. It's about kids texting. Just calm down. Everybody just chill out. And it's a 17-year-old girl that's in question, so just chill out, chill out. I've been there. Everybody just calm down. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. So, how are they going? Oh, we mean your New Year's resolutions. You know, the stubborn 10 pounds doing volunteer work. What if making this year better relied less on sticking to resolutions and more on making good decisions? The Spring for Alexa sales event is the perfect way to start. With compelling deals on select 2010 models, what has always been a rewarding decision is now an easier one. And whether it's the RX, IS, or ES, the joys of driving it will even outlast resolutions. The Spring for Alexa sales event. Actual Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or Kearney Mesa. Now through March 31st, available 2.9% APR financing on the IS250 and IS350 models for up to 60 months, and Lexus will make one month's payment for you.

1:22:5660 monthly payments of $17.92 per thousand financed. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important APR program limitations and offer details. Not all customers will qualify. No down payment required if qualified. Offer ends March 31, 2010. Coming to San Diego this Saturday, air. Air this Saturday at 4th and B. Tickets at ticketmaster.com. Brand of ethereal dream pop and electronica. Live this Saturday at 4th and B. Ticketmaster.com for your tickets to see air this Saturday. Must be 21 with proper ID. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Engine. So many things can go wrong with your car. That's why Pep Boys invented one place that can make them all right. Right now, it's dollar days at Pep Boys. And the buck shopped here. Buy any three installed DFINITY tires. Get the fourth tire for a buck with instant rebate.

1:24:32By three, get the fourth tire for $1 instantly. During dollar days, get dollar-stretching deals like a do-it-yourself five-quart Pennzoil oil change with Purolator filter, just $15. That's right, five quarts and filter, just $15. Don't miss dollar days at Cut Boys going on now. Whether it's tires, parts, or service, your dollar never went so far. Call 1-800-PEP-BOYS or visit pepboys.com. AT&T's new backflip phone displays streaming updates from Facebook, Twitter, and more all on one screen. It's like your own personal news feed. Our top story tonight, Lisa, two of your friends totally got together at the party tonight. Text messages allege it was Jessica and Mark. No way. Oh, this just in. Facebook now confirms Jessica and Mark did indeed get together. Wink, wink. Ugh, gross. And now here's Twitter chiming in with, and I quote,

1:25:31OMG, Jessica and Mark are obviously more than just friends. Skeevy. Uh, lol. That's LOL. Right. More from the home screen of Lisa's backflip phone as this story develops. Awesome. Whatever. The new backflip, only on AT&T, the nation's fastest 3G network. For a limited time, get the new Motorola Backflip for just $99.99 and get one free. Hurry, offer ends March 31st. 3G not available in all areas. Two-year wireless service agreement with voice plan and minimum $30 monthly data plan required per phone. Certain geographic, other charges and restrictions apply. See store for details. Stay tuned for a million bottle giveaway announcement. Do you have troubled skin, acne? Well, against the better judgment of our management team, we're going to prove to you once and for all that Proactiv works. So if you want to try it, give us a call. Because we're going to let a million people try Proactive and receive our legendary refining face mask free if you call right now. You heard it. Be one of the first callers and you'll receive a 60-day trial of Proactive Solution Risk.

1:26:31free plus a free refining face mask when you call 1-800-244-1946. Proactiv's combination therapy system uses prescription-grade acne medicine and soothing spa quality botanicals to create a powerful acne fighting system. It's so effective it transforms blemishes and bumps into clear smooth skin. You can have beautiful healthy looking skin. Put us to the test and we'll prove it. Get your risk-free 60-day trial plus a free refining face mask. Call toll-free now, 1-800-244-1946. That's 1-800-244-1946. The Home Depot has a new lower price on Miracle-Gro garden soil for flowers and vegetables. A one-cubic-foot bag is just $3.97. It feeds your flowers and vegetables for up to three full months. That's three full months you don't have to feed them. You just enjoy them and water occasionally. All because you started out with that bag of Miracle-Gro garden soil you got for just $3.97. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. U.S. only. See store for details.

1:27:35It's Bob Baker Mazda's Claim Your Mazda Sales Event with 0% financing on new 2010 Bob Baker Mazda 3s, Mazda 6s, and Mazda CX-9s. It's 60-month financing with no payment for 90 days on approved credit equates to $16.67 per thousand financed. Test drive yours today at Bob Baker Mazda, Car Country, Carlsbad, or anytime at BobBakerMazda.com. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Shell Nitrogen and Rich Gasolines. All three grays act as a barrier that shields and protects critical engine parts against performance robbing gunk. A few problems we had earlier on Interstate 8 in La Mesa have been clear. Traffic should be moving pretty well there. Border crossings, Otay Mesa.

1:28:33Borders look like they have about nine lanes open, 25-minute delay. San Ysidro now has 20 lanes open with almost an hour delay there. Traffic also brought to you by Advil PM. Spend less time lying awake with annoying aches and pains and more time asleep with Advil PM. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Thursday morning. Brought to you by the good folks at Guayaki Urbamate. Certified organic, rainforest grown, and the best in the land. Surf-wise today, looking at a decrease in swell across the board, although that soft swell shows a little bit more dominance today. West-northwest wind-ground swell combo fading off a bit. However, that is expected to reach back up in size by later in the day, so keep an eye on it. Right now, south-facing areas seeing inconsistency. sets, waist, chest, shoulder high on the face, maybe a few pluses on top of that, most spots down in that waist to chest high zone. We're dealing with some pretty high tides this morning, dropping off to negative low tides at noon, so that will have an effect on size and shape in all areas. Overcast skies right now, lightning variable winds, kind of a little eddy flow, so expect a little bit of early winds today, and they could stay on it throughout the remainder of the day. Good news is, though, it looks like there's more size as we see further out in the future throughout the rest of this afternoon.

1:29:55So for up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of the South Coast Surf Shops, five locations, or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaki Herba Mate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. I am chubby. Woods. I can put down a 20-pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I have a very keen sense of smell. Sienna. Todd and I went downtown La Jolla to Prospect. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. Gina Villalobos. Yes. Pictures of pictures. How do you hear it? How do I hear it? Yeah, just my friend Jason Rhodes plays in her band. Really? She's a friend and phenomenal. Welcome back to the show, everybody.

1:31:00Let's give you the phone number if you want to call 570-1949. You can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. So I was telling you that Snoop Dogg did a ride along with Larry King. Other way around. Larry King did a ride along with Snoop Dogg. And it was on Larry King's show. And I thought you might want to hear what that would sound like. Of course. 1967 Pontiac Parasini. I never heard of a Parasini. Yeah, it's low to the flow, too. See, I told you it was low to the floor. He got in and like almost fell into the car. He's 90. Yeah. Where's the thing to put your hand to get in here easier? I'm low to the floor. Let me take you by the hand. Up to the man. The mighty man. Awkward. That's a couple of worlds colliding right there. Really awkward. I don't think Snoop Dogg would be awkward. Low to the floor, Mike. Low to the floor. I think Snoop Dogg would just start entertaining whoever is in the car, you know? I haven't told you what Houdini was like. You know when I used to date Eleanor Roosevelt? A shizzle. Faux shizzle. I used to date Greta Garbo. One date, she had bad breath. Ew.

1:32:24I said no more. That's one thing I couldn't handle with a bad breath. Just say goodbye to Greta Garbo. Let's see. Mikey, the new show and the new people rock. Seems like everything's clicking real good. Love listening to you. Mayon. You the best. That's M1 Big Dog. Thank you, Big Dog. We appreciate that. Mikey, my father-in-law has a zero handicap and he's 60. That's M1 Irish dancer. What does that mean? That means he can get around the course without having to be given any stroke. So when he goes out and just plays, he'll shoot a 72, which is par. Really? Did I say my grandfather? My father-in-law, right? It's his father-in-law. My dad used to be a zero. Six-year-old grandfather. He used to be a zero, and then he got a blood clot in his leg, and he can't play as much anymore. But the dude was, he has a course record of 63 at Las Colinas. Okay, so if somebody says, I got a 10 handicap, that means they're 10 over. Yeah, that means they're going to shoot an 82, which is going to put them to 72, which is par. Yeah. So you're about a 90 handicap, and I'm about a 75. Meaning that I'm going to shoot 90 strokes. 90 plus 72.

1:33:35No way. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, I told Jamie the other day, if I can ever shoot an 89 in my lifetime, I will be happy. Because I've broken a hundred. No, I've never broken a hundred. Is that what that would be? Yeah. That'd be a 17. No, 17. 17 handicap. Is it a deal where Tiger Woods, you take the average? Yeah. Take the average. What do you think of Tiger Woods? He doesn't have a handicap. He's in the 60s. He's better. A handicap basically is just, Mikey, how many strokes am I going to have to give you so that you shoot a 72? And you'd need 70 to 80 strokes. Oh my. And I would need 30 to 40. We'll see today. I'm playing around. I'll come in tomorrow. I'm going to do a legit. I'll take a legit round today. Yeah. No moving my ball, no nothing. M1 Mirror Mesa says, Hey, Mikey, was Lauren and Jamba Juice in Mirror Mesa yesterday evening? If not, a woman who looked exactly like her was there. That would not be me. That was not you. That was my twin. I would never go to Jamba Juice, ever. I would. Never. I would, but I would only have the wheat clippings. Only the wheat grass clippings. I would go to Jamba Juice before I went to Pinkberry. That's what we were like yesterday. Would you? Yeah. She didn't want to eat Pinkberry.

1:34:58She was vehemently against it. It was delish. Because of the sugar? Yes, and the gluten is condensed. And the gluten is a host of reasons. Corporate yogurt shell. It's not okay for me to have reasons to not want to go there, but it's okay for Woods to push his ideas on me. That's true. Thank goodness. I'm a pusher. I am. She told me I was a pusher this morning as I offered her a delicious oatmeal raisin cookie. You did not offer me one. Eat it. Eat it. Try it. Just try it. Just eat it. Just try it. I believe you said the first one is free. First one's free. You'll be back. They all come back. 570-1949 or text us 949mikey at gmail.com. So I got to read you this email. You tell me what you think I want people to call about it. And you can also text. 949mikey at gmail.com. Get your opinion on this. Morning Mikey show. Loving the new crew and the whole vibe of the new Mikey show. It seems like you guys have some pretty varied opinions. And some of you have kids, so I think you can appreciate this. My 17-year-old daughter is getting to the age where she's starting to stay out past curfew and overall grow up too fast. There's one group of friends she started hanging with that I particularly don't like and don't trust.

1:36:19So I did something I'm not sure crossed the line. I went through her phone and looked at her text messages. Nothing in there really shocked me, but it did affirm my suspicions that she's definitely getting into some, quote, adult behavior. Oh, no. My wife says I'm violating her trust, but it's my opinion that I pay for her cell phone, so I should be able to look at it all I want. And until she's 18, she's still a kid under my rule. I'd rather know and keep an eye on her. What do you guys all think? Thanks, M1 Dad Police. Well, the one thing that I can tell you just from a couple of years of experience, I've only got, I have three kids. One's only three, and the other two are twins, and they're only seven months old.

1:37:17And so I'm learning new things all the time. I used to have all kinds of opinions before I had kids. And now that I have kids, I have different opinions than I used to have. And one thing that I learned from that is I should be very careful about my opinions of what to do as a parent with a 17 year old because I'm not one. Right. Which I used to think, by the way, was ridiculous. I used to think that philosophy in general was ridiculous. I used to go. Oh, please, with the I can't have an opinion about what to do with my two year old just because I don't have one. I used to be that guy. And so I used to have a lot of opinions about two year olds. Then I had a two year old and I was like, man, I really didn't know what I was talking about. And so with a 17 year old, I think that now I've learned that I need to go. Well, I just want to ask. Do want to get our opinions because I don't have a 17 year old. I have an opinion. I just don't know if it's worth anything yet. So I'll ask. people that have kids, especially Jay. Jay's got kids that vary in age all the way from seven years old up to 21, right? Exactly. And so, but I want to hear from people what they think of that. 5701-949 is our number or 949mikey at gmail.com. But you know what I think is it has to do with the kid because I bet you might have a daughter whom you need to keep your eye on and you might have another daughter.

1:38:47who you know her disposition, her character, and through years of experience have learned exactly who she is, but more importantly, who she isn't. And that's, I think, what you sort of base it on. Because I think you would almost be foolish to let things, to be completely blind to certain things. I think you would be foolish. But I definitely want to get your opinion. 570-1949 is the number. 949mikey at gmail.com. Pepper. Michael. Well, as I said before, my dad used to look into my eyes and see his own mischievous self staring back at him. So I was probably one of those kids. My parents raided my bedroom, found everything that I did.

1:39:37Taken out of context, so it made me look a lot worse than I was. But at the time, I was like... What does that mean? Because kids joke, you know, you send notes back and forth to each other. And I mean, and that could happen. Text message wasn't around when I was a kid, but that could easily happen. And even though they gave me the chance to explain, I would be like, they were like, what's this all about? I'd be like, well, that was it. Save it. Save it. And I was like... At the time, I thought that is so unfair because my dad said the same thing. You know, as long as you're under my rules, he took my door off the hinges. Amazing. Unscrewed my door, took it off the hinges. Yeah. Ripped my phone out of the wall. How old were you? 15, 16, 17, 18. Well, does that mean that you were in your room and you couldn't have any privacy in terms of what you wore? Well, my dad was never home like when I was getting change or anything like that. Because that would have, I mean, I remember when I was like 13. I don't remember, 12, 13. That was around the age where I was like, can't see me in my underwear, man. Yeah. You're still that way. That's my underwear, man. You know, I was like 12. But like the day before was fine. You know, I could be running around in my underoos. But as soon as I got like regular, you know, underwear, it was like, hey, you can't see me this way. I need to have my privacy. It happens. Woodsy. Here's the deal.

1:41:00I have no kids, but if I had a 17-year-old daughter, yeah, I would look through her texts. If I had a 17-year-old son, I wouldn't. Wow. That is so awful. Isn't that awful? Wow. That is the God's honest truth. Really? Yep. You'd be proud of your son if you're talking about bad things, probably. Probably. I thought your dad got mad at you when you would do certain things. They did, man. My parents, like my mom was the, I'm doing air quotes, mom, if you're listening, the. Cleaner. I was cleaning your room, and I found this note. They used to throw my music away, like Motley Crue's devil's music. They'd throw it away. Granted, it was called Shout at the Devil, and there was pentagrams all over it. I just liked Looks That Kill, man. It's a great song. They would toss my tapes, and we'd just have these battles once a month. But yeah, totally, dude. I will be my mom. I'm guaranteeing you. Daughter, yes. Daughter, yes. Son, no. See, at the time, when I was a kid, I thought that was so unfair, blah, blah, blah. Now I'm at the age where I'm thinking about having kids, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I will be mom police. Yeah, toast. Sienna, you're a sweetheart. They didn't have to keep their eye on you.

1:42:13You? I was troubled. Are you serious? I was the worst, but they didn't, they never, you know, I was really open with them about everything. Yeah. And they never snooped. They never went through anything. Were they allowed to look through your got milk folder? No, of course not. That was my collection. But I think like, as far as this email, I mean. I think that he knows his daughter if he's feeling a weird suspicion about the new friends that she's hanging out with. And I think he has the right to look through her phone because he's right. He does pay for it. But I think he was in the wrong, in my opinion, just going through it without any permission. I think he could have easily said, you know, I mean, if she didn't do anything wrong, it's not as easy to say it. But I think he could have said, you know, look, every once in a while, I'm going to I'm just going to at random. go through that phone or something. A random test. That's my possession. Like, I can do that. What if you said it before you got the phone? Like, in other words, what if you said, I'm going to get you, Dad, I want this phone. I want this phone. Okay, listen, you can have the phone. I'm just going to let you know that in the real world when you're an adult, they do this thing. It's called random drug testing. Yeah. And that happens in the workplace when you're an adult. So this isn't a little kid thing I'm throwing on you. Yeah. And think about work computers and stuff. They monitor that.

1:43:28There's a catch to that, though. Because, okay, I'm going to warn you. I'm going to go through your phone. Delete. So you're going to have to delete everything you don't want me to read. No, you don't do it. You don't do it for a long time. And then one day when they think you're never going to do it, you do it. No, you know, there's a couple things. All kids, no matter who you are, even the ones you think you trust are tricky. Those are the ones that usually are better liars than the ones that are crafty. Yeah, because I have both. I have one that's not very crafty and gets busted. All the time. She's just guilt just written all over. The other one is smooth. And you're thinking, oh, she's so sweet. I hope they're not listening right now. I was so sweet. But, you know, and then I never would warn them. I hope they're not listening because this is going to reveal all my clients. I go through there randomly. I would never tell them. No way. I would never tell them. Kim, turn off the radio. Turn off the radio. I would never tell them because then it's just like pre-worn. It's like, okay, I'm going to check your room to make sure you don't sneak out on these days. So don't sneak out on those days. You better be there. Sneak out on the other ones, you know. Now, would you let them know? Oh, no. Because then if I catch them, if there's something in there that I'm suspicious about, then they're on double secret probation. And I'm going to watch them. But they don't know it? They don't know it.

1:44:42No, I would never tell them that I found something on their phone. I would just all of a sudden go, click, click. And that's right. Now I'm locked and loaded. I would never be able to do that. I'm locked and loaded. I have no filter. Yes, I would. I couldn't either. Yeah, you have to. It's just like, you know, you use all the tools you're given as a parent to make sure that they don't get hurt or do something that's stupid that's going to affect them for the rest of their lives. My fear with it is that if they catch you, you're done in terms of trusting you. What do you do, sneak in while they're in the shower, Jay? I can't reveal all my swords. I'm going to give away the secrets. Oh, no. I'm telling you, the majority of the calls that we're getting are from people that say, I do it. I do it. M1 Libby's on the line. You there, Libby? It's Wubby. Wubby. Hi, Wubbs. Hi, Wubbs. Hi, guys. How are you doing? I'm doing good. I'm just shocked. Well, not shocked, but I'm surprised. First of all, Pepper, my dad took the doors off of our rooms as well. Right, right. And my father's rule was, until you start paying bills in here,

1:45:42I, you know, I own everything. Is that my dad on the other end of the phone? That's exactly what my dad said. And Woodsy, I don't know if I'm, I mean, I'm not shocked by your response. Right. A little appalled. Don't be appalled, hon. Only because as a parent, whether you're raising a son or a daughter, you still have a responsibility about the type of adult you put into the world. Absolutely. But girls just scare me more. I get that. Trust me. But as a mother of a son, I need to know that my end product out in the world is not going to do damage for more crazy girls. Fair enough. You know what I mean? So I have to teach him. It's normal what guys are going to do. I get that. But you have to put that foundation out there so that's not the norm. My 13-year-old, we've already had the cell phone conversation. As early as elementary school, there were instances at his school involving his friends and sexting. Oh, jeez. That's awful. That there were, that, you know, the school had to send notes home because the little girls were, you know, emailing pictures of their panties. Oh, my God. 10 years old, 13 years old. How old? 13. This happened in 5th and 16th grade. Oh, my gosh. That's awesome. That's younger than 13. And there was an incident at his middle school.

1:47:07um last semester and you know it it's shocking and you don't want to have to think that and my kid is the he's a good kid but i need to know what he's doing and what he's into because what he's telling me to my face is the mom i'm an angel hey whoops we've had this talk i hear you i mean i had no idea it was that young i'm talking about i was thinking really about like my brother when my brother was younger and you know 16 17 to myself when we were 16 17 The 10, 11 years old, yeah, those are talks I will have with son and daughter, big time. But as far as checking up on them, I think if I had a daughter, I'd just be way more concerned. And not even really about her. It's about some clown like me that's texting her. That's what I thought it was, too. I thought it was a deal where you were like, it's not even so much about you as my daughter. It's about the guys that I know that are out there. So, Jay. This is what I want to ask. Okay. And thank you for the call, Woob. This is what I want to ask. Did you, when they were growing up, did you, what was the punishment? Was it corporal punishment or was it you're in timeout? Oh, no. Well, they got both. If it was something that was just, you know, okay, they were kind of breaking the rules, it was timeout. Yeah.

1:48:27But if they were a gross abuser of something, it would be, and it was not just the, okay, get over here and whack, whack, whack, whack, whack. It was, okay, let's go in the other room. Let's sit down. Let's have a conversation about what you did. And then I do not want to have to do this. And then, you know, and it was not a belt, not anything else. It was just my open hand on their bottom, two, three swacks. Sit them back up. Talk to them for a minute more and say, you know, let's never do this again. And then you want to stay here in your bed and cry or do you want to come in the other room? And quickly the tears go away. We go in the other room and if it's something they did to somebody, then they would apologize and it was over. And, you know, they grew up, I mean, they're great kids now. I believe, and this is, I know people will trip out on this. And before I even tell you, I'll tell you that we're doing it my wife's way. My wife's way is the timeouts, okay? But I believe in spanking. And I believe in doing it the way that my dad did it, with a belt. Now, I'm not going to because my wife, I mean, just hearing it right now, she's probably already crying just hearing that. I mean, it makes her crazy just the thought of it. Just kidding. She's not crying. But she definitely is not a believer in that. But this is what I could tell you.

1:49:49I got three older brothers. There's four boys in my family, four boys. Okay. So hard. Now I was the only one that, well, I would say we were all, we were all in high school. We did our little things with drinking. I smoked pot like one time in high school and it made me so paranoid that I never wanted to do it again. I hated it. But what I can tell you is that when it came to doing things that were drastic, I didn't do it. And the reason that I didn't do it is because I had a respectful fear of my dad. And I knew that like all I did was play out the I just weighed it in my head. If I get popped, my dad is going to whip my you know what? And it ain't going to be pretty. And I had such a respectful fear of my pop and I loved him, too. Like, that's the thing I got to make clear, you know.

1:50:49Because I'm sure some people are listening going, oh, really? So, you know, you want to turn your son or your daughter against you and have them hate you and blah, blah, blah. I didn't. I loved him like a lot. But my dad was a believer in, you know, that kind of discipline. And what it created in me was a sense of like, I ain't screwing up, man. I mean, I just and all my brothers are the same. Like we did our little drink, you know, drinky drink. In terms of, like, really doing stuff that was going to get it. If I had been alive today, I don't think I would have been the sexter kid because my dad would kick my, you know what. I mean, I would get it. But what about peer pressure? There was peer pressure. And I went so far with it. But there was certain stuff. Like, you know, there was certain stuff I just. You don't think you would have been like some girl is like, hey, Mikey. You know what I mean? You don't think so? We didn't have that opportunity. And that's the deal. Thank goodness. Thank God. Here's the thing. If somebody sent my kid a sex thing of her underwear or whatever, my kid's not going to get in trouble for that. Right. It's not his fault. But what do you... Now, if he's taking pictures of his stuff... Oh, God. I mean, dude, yeah, there's problems, Pepper. What if you looked at his phone today being March 25th? Yeah. And the message was there from like...

1:52:19December 09, and it was still on his phone. It wouldn't be his deal. I mean, well, here's what I tell you. If that's the situation, what I think of as a guy is that I go, I know that he's wired to want to look at that. Yeah. So I'm not like. Mad. Yeah, I'm not mad at him. You're like. I'll take the opportunity to teach him. And talk. The principles that I have in my life, I'll teach him those principles. Now, if it was my daughter. Right. And in her sent box. Now, I wouldn't know this because I don't think I'm the guy because I want to think that I'm going to set up an environment that's like, here's where the limits are. Right. There's an expectation. You pass this. You're busted. You pass go. Sorry. Two hundred bucks not happening. And not only that, you're going to jail. And there ain't no get out of jail free card. Now, a lot of people hear that and they're like, oh, my goodness, how rough, whatever. I'm telling you.

1:53:18I got the belt when I was growing up, and it taught me a lot. My dad taught me about, let me tell you, lying, my dad taught me a harsh lesson. But I never forgot it. I thanked him for it. Oh, this is good. Woodsy's picking the music. Look what it says. Do you know what this is, ladies? No, what is it? Sienna, do you recognize? No. Pepper? Scorpio? Scorpio? Scorpion? I don't know. The scorpion? No, it's not the scorpion. It's lover boy. The kid is hot tonight. The kid is hot tonight. And in parentheses it says, you know that. Stop it. The clown is hot tonight. Are you a part of M1 Nation? If you are, it means that you're a Mikey Show listener. And that's a good thing if you are. We dig it. Woodsy lip synced right up.

1:54:32To Pepper's face right there. That was creepy. And M1 is a Mikey Show listener, so that means you belong to M1 Nation. And when you call in, you turn your radio down, get to your point, and don't cuss. Don't forget, March Madness underway right here at FM 94.9. Go check your bracket results on our homepage, fm949sd.com. And you can see who's getting closer to the big old hound dog trophy. It's going to be great. Back on today. That's right, man. The Jessica Simpson deadline. thing that she does with dudes. See what you think about that? Woods, he's already rolling his eyes. Talk about our day yesterday. Great day. Hanging out. It's great. It's great. I'll tell you next. Pop it in. And turn it on. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949-MIKEY at G-COM. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9.

1:55:57This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, this Thursday night, you can go see Devendra Banhart. He'll play the Belly Up and airs in town at 4th and B this Saturday night. And did you hear just announced Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros? They're going to play a show at the Belly Up Thursday, April 15th. Tickets to see Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros go on sale this Friday at noon. So there you have it. Get out there and take that out. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. Coming to San Diego this Saturday, air. Air this Saturday at 4th and B. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Brand of ethereal dream pop and electronica. Live this Saturday at 4th and B. Ticketmaster.com. for your tickets to see air this Saturday. Must be 21 with proper ID.

1:57:34It's at Ticketmaster.com. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What'd you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinate it for 24 hours, and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour, spicy, all at the same time. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles, we're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation, really. Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Mama Testa Taqueria, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. Maybe I should write a jingle. Te la lavas. Tell the lava sway, tell the lava sway. Signs that say this is not an exit don't apply to him. His two cents have overruled Supreme Court decisions. If he rode in your car, its resale value would instantly increase. He likes the word fog. Were you to pass him on the street and he didn't see you, you would still feel like he said hello and asked you about your day.

1:59:04If you were stuck in an elevator with him, you wouldn't want to be saved. Even his tree houses have finished basements. His business card just says, I'll call you. Most interesting man in the world. Don't always drink beer. But when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends. No one likes to walk away feeling they've just paid too much for their car. Now, for a limited time, BMW is offering 0.9% APR financing on select certified pre-owned BMW vehicles. That's 0.9% for the finest German engineering performance and handling on a vehicle that's a similar price to other lesser new cars. That's 0.9% APR for a vehicle that's as well-maintained as any on the road. And 0.9% for a protection plan backed by BMW for up to six years or 100,000 miles. Need we say more?

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2:02:28After reading, after discussing, after searching, you realize that at this school you don't memorize the answers to questions, you ask them. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Nissan. Get quality now. Get savings now. The Nissan Now sales event ends March 31st. Get to a Nissan dealer now for the best deals ever on our best cars ever. In La Mesa, West Bend, after Lake Murray Boulevard, we had a few crashes in the same area. Those are all cleared. 67 South Bend at Mapleview Street, we have a stalled out van blocking the left lane. Highway 15 South Bend at Adams Avenue, we have a stalled out truck blocking middle lanes. Plan ahead for delays. Traffic also brought to you by Advil PM. Spend less time lying awake with annoying. aches and pains, and more time asleep with Advil PM. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9. KBZTO, the Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. You guys talk amongst yourselves for a couple of minutes? I was going to do a late night dedication. My wife, Jamie. Lani Kravitz. That's really good. It's phenomenal. Sorry, I'm chewing.

2:04:47Woodsy's picking the music. Lenny Kravitz can't get you off my mind. You ever hear a song, even if eventually things turned out great, that song happened during a one-week period of your life where maybe it wasn't great? Yeah. All the time, dude. And you're there, right? Mm-hmm. This song was so popular when I was breaking up with Rebecca. Weird. Such a good tune. Every time I hear it now, I can't enjoy it for being a great song. I can't do it. I got a million of those. I'm like, and in fact, I go, I remember my girlfriend, Rebecca. Yeah. Like, I can't even go, oh, it had a happy ending. She's my wife now. We have three beautiful kids. I'm like, I hear that Lenny Kravitz. Oh, my girlfriend, Rebecca, and I were broken up then. Yeah, dude. Songs will do that to you, man. Welcome back to Mikey's show. This is actually pretty funny, man.

2:05:59And we're going to be getting to this stuff with Jessica Simpson in just a minute. Tina Fey was on Letterman. And she had kind of a funny moment with him where she was talking about Tracy Morgan and how Tracy Morgan hits on women. And there may be something to learn from the way that he does this. There may be something in it for guys to hear how he did this. Take a listen. There was a beautiful blonde background extra. People fill out the scenes, and there was this really tall, gorgeous, like, all-American blonde lady. And a lot of guys were trying to talk to her on our set and get in there. And Tracy just has a way. He just went up to her and was like, look at your fine self. You look like you should be married to one of the San Diego Padres. I can't believe that. Every guy is going to be afraid to. Mm-hmm. Right? Let's go find self. Let's go find self. That's it. You look like you're married to the Padre. Yeah, man. That's crazy. That's what you do. Thing is, though, is that's how we have to do it if we walk up. Yeah, I'd get punched in the jewels. Yeah, exactly. Get out of here, creep. You guys couldn't be like, God, you are so pretty. I mean, you must be married to a Padre or something. You'd be like, you cheese, D, get out of here. I don't think so. What would you think, Sienna, if a guy said that to you? I would probably be like, oh, no, I'm not.

2:07:29Did you tell him I'm married to a Milwaukee brewer? Oh, yeah. There you go. I'm married to a brewer. I'm married to a brewer. Thank you very much. See this ring? Get out of my face. Wrong team, buddy. What would you do, Pepper, if a guy walked up to you and said, Man, you are so gorgeous. You look like you should be married to a San Diego Padre. I'd say maybe I should be. Do you play baseball? Yeah. He would kick your butt if you were here. I'm sure it doesn't hurt that he's Tracy Morgan. Yeah. You know what I mean? Probably doesn't. Yesterday, we went to an all-organic pizza place. Woods was very worried about it. It was so gut-wrenching for me. That your pizza place wasn't open? That my pizza place wasn't open. Then I found a cafe across the street that looked delicious. They had pork chops, meatloaf. Everybody was, no, no. Burgers. Great. Fine. Where are we going? If you had said to me, that that place had pork chops and meatloaf. Yeah. It would have been a done deal. Which is our nickname. Yeah, pork chop and meatloaf. Pork chop and meatloaf. Yeah. The adventures of. The adventures of pork chop and meatloaf. I didn't know that that's what they had in that place. He's pork chop, I'm meatloaf. Of course. Of course, you know that. Obviously. Can I just send the review mirror? You know what we ended up doing? What? We went to this organic. Why do you say the word organic? Like it's the F word. With such disdain.

2:09:00Because it tells you so much more than just the fact that it was organic. I couldn't get a packet of Splenda. No, okay, when we ordered the pizza, they asked if we wanted the crust with multigrain. You guys are saying all this stuff like it's a bad thing. One of us got it. No, two of them. Multigrain? Two got multigrain. I wonder who. Two of them got multigrain. I thought about it, laughed, and said, of course. I tried. I actually ordered a Crisco crust, and they wouldn't make it for me. Yeah, can you just wrap mine in larn? Yeah. There was something very interesting that I noticed, though, when we got to the restaurant. What? That was when we sat down, all five of us were there, and then the waiter brought over the bread, you know? And, like, no one reached for the bread, although everyone wanted it, right? Why did everybody do that? We were sitting there, and my stomach was going... Because it's like, I guess you don't want to be the fatty that reaches for her. No, and you know what? It wasn't even to be the fatty. You know why I didn't do it? Why? Because I didn't want to get screamed at. Why? Like what? Did you just smoke a cigarette? You grabbed that bread and be like, oh, forget it. It's not even worth it. I'll just starve. Because you have to like tear it apart. Yeah, you have to grab the loaf. You have to pull your piece off, right? Yeah. And then you have just manhandled the loaf. Yeah. I hate that word so much, loaf. I can't believe how many different like paradigms we were in. Well, my head was spinning. I was like, all right, if Lauren grabs it, I'll eat it. I'm not going to say anything.

2:10:26But like if I grabbed it, everyone would be like, I'd get roasted. I'd get roasted. I can see that. For sure. My thing was, I just, I had, it hadn't occurred to me because I was like caught up in conversation. If it occurred to me, I would grab that. I mean, I have, but I noticed that now you're saying that I'm like, how come nobody grabbed the bread? It sat there. It sat there. Is this a thing? Yeah. I didn't want to be the one that was like, okay, we're in the middle of like a serious conversation about the show. Let me just. Let me just go for the bread. That's more important. Really? Yeah. You notice how I jumped right in there when I got back. Well, the one that finally broke it was Jay. He reached in and grabbed the bread finally. And then everyone's like, oh, give me the bread. Is this a thing? It's a thing, dude, because we went to a restaurant. I can't remember which one because we went to a couple of restaurants last week, you and I. And some place brought us on a plate of piping hot slice of bread. Stone. Which was amazing. Is it when Rebecca cut it for each of us and put it on? No, that was fine, too. But some, I think it was that French restaurant we went to, they brought us a slice of bread. And they said, there is your bread. And I was like, I literally, because there were, Whitney and Dan were with us. And I'm like, I'm not going to be the clown that breaks the bread for everybody. And I immediately was like. Because it was an individual slice. Because it was an individual slice. And I was like, okay, home free. This conversation has never occurred to me in life. I'm 39 years old. It's never occurred to me. The very first time we met.

2:11:54Pamplemousse. Yeah. They brought out, I mean, hello, the bread is amazing there. They brought it out and I was so nervous about like just meeting everyone. And I was like, God, I'm starving. I really want to eat that bread. And you're waiting? No one's stretching the bread. Yeah. There's like three baskets of bread on the table. No one's stretching the bread. No one's stretching the bread. There's like honey butter right there. I want to spread that on the bread and eat it. Yep. Pepper, did you want bread then? Well, luckily I date a guy that doesn't care about the restaurant etiquette. So once he breaks in. Oh, this is etiquette. This is etiquette. For sure. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, so what does the etiquette say? That you're not the first guy to grab the bread? I don't know. I don't think any of us know what it is. No one knows what it says. I have an idea. Slice individual, or if you're going to, here's what I hate, okay? They take the loaf, they slice like halfway through. So then you're the idiot that grabs it and then it rips off like half of that piece. Then that other piece is dangling and you're like, I'm done. Everyone's looking at you going. Really, dude? Yeah. Really? You just took a chunk of my piece. Yeah. Yeah. That's weird. Weird, weird. So my thing is that there is the same thing going on in all of your brains, and that thing is it's not going to be me. Yep. Right.

2:13:09There should be a little individual, like some places have the little rolls instead of the loaves. I love those places. You just grab it. But my problem. Is that weird too? That's not my problem. No, no. It's not the germy thing. My problem is I don't want to be the first one to reach for it. See, I don't mind being the first, but I don't want to manhandle it. I had a friend, this is kind of in the same paradigm, but I had a friend that when he ate food, he always left. one thing, like one bite on the plate as if that said, I'm not a pig. That's weird. I do that. You do that? I made sure yesterday to leave my pizza crust. I noticed that about Sienna. Which means what? Like, oh, I'm too dainty. Obviously, no. Well, I mean, what is it? I don't know. I don't want to be the one that's like, hey, like licking the plate. Yeah, I mean, I might as well. I mean, I'll clean that plate off. Me too. I ball up my napkin and throw it on top. Done. Done. Winner. But we must have some. Will you please call us about this and tell us what this deal is? 570-1949. When there's someone at the table that doesn't have their food yet, and so you wait. You have to wait. I think you have to. I hate it.

2:14:22Even if they say don't wait, you have to wait. Oh, I don't wait then. If they say go ahead, I'm in. Jay! Yeah, I'm totally in. They're saying it to be polite. Well, then good, because I'm hungry and I want my food hot. I don't want my food lukewarm, because sometimes it's 10 minutes before the food comes. Really? That's true. It's going to drop by 45 degrees. It's going to be cold. No, there should be a cutoff time, because sometimes it's like, okay, this is ridiculous. Now, everyone's going to have a ruined meal, and Joe Schmoe's going to have the one hot meal. Yeah, because Mikey ordered the carne asada. We've got to wait. Because Mikey ordered a whole... deep fried fish. Yeah, with eyes and eyelashes attached. But after a few minutes passes, I agree with Jay. Time to feast. Yeah, there's got to be a waiting period. There's a bunch of things in a restaurant. Like, what about when the guy comes around with the ground pepper? Mike, I think we've maybe talked about this before. We did. Is when the guy comes with the ground pepper and he's like, would you like ground pepper? I'm like, absolutely. I want, and I kind of say, you know, I want a lot. And so he's twisting, twisting, twisting. He's like, is that good? And I'm like, Yeah, but I really want so much more. I do it like this. My thing with it is he starts to grind the pepper, and I always go, okay, that's good, and it was not good. It's never good. It was like five little kernels. And I'm not the guy, and I know everybody that is the guy is saying right now to themselves, why don't you just say to him, hey, I want a lot of pepper, so it's going to be a while. I'll tell you why. Because I don't have...

2:15:45The balls. Is that what you want to hear? I've got an idea. You want him to put on a wrist brace and just keep twisting? Yes. I've got a great idea. Put the friggin' thing on the table. Leave it there. Why don't they do that anyway? This is not enough. Because it's so special. There's not enough. It's so special. It's my fresh cracked ground pepper. Get one for every table. I'm not going to leave you that, please. I'm not going to leave you that. I'm not going to leave you that, please. I'm not going to leave you that within five minutes, please. I wish they would. I would allow you to use that. Leave me. Indulging in the pepper is part of my demise on this here show. I let her keep going and going and going last week. And you know what happened? There was a bunch of pieces of pepper that weren't actually in your teeth that you claimed were. There was five. My wife, it stresses me out to go to dinner with my wife and with my dad. The two people that I love more than anything in this world. But my dad is the extra guy. And he gives the wave of his fingers. He puts his, you know, index and thumb. He goes, can I get a little extra dressing? Every time without fail. It could be slathered in dressing. Extra dressing. Why doesn't he just order it and ask for it? Or some more. It's like he's shaking backgammon dice. And then my wife has to get every. On the side. No, no, no. But like.

2:16:53Absolutely. And she's like, oh God, can we get out of here? I have one thing out of it. I get nothing extra. One thing out of it? Yeah, I always have to make like one little, I don't want that. A little change. A modification we call that in the biz. But if they say they can't do it, I deal with it and I don't complain. Modifications bother you as a server? Yes. Pepper? No, I like the challenge. They do. It gets a little monotonous. Were you a waitress girl that didn't write anything down? Yep. I hate you. Not you, personally. They make me nervous. You know what I mean. Really nervous. I did a whole bit on that. You did? Oh, yeah. Maybe we test her. Oh, I bet she'd do it, though. You think she could get it? I think so. Well, I have to know the menu. We should all order something. We'll do it from the belly up. Okay. Can we do the belly up menu? Yeah. Bet they have it online. Yeah, they do. They're going to be here tomorrow. Wild Note Cafe. They will be here tomorrow. They're going to be here tomorrow. They are. And you're going to get tested. Okay. Wild Note Cafe. Yep. Wild Note, one word. Yeah, no, it's two, but go to bellyup.com, and then there's a link to the Wild Note Cafe. I have more of these etiquette things. No, I'm not. You're dead. What about when you order wine, and they bring it to you, the wine, and then they pour just a tiny bit in the glass, and they're like, to try it? Like, who's the guy that tries it and is like, oh, this is bad? This wine is subpar. You know, like, no matter if it's bad or not, like, I can't taste the difference. I'm like, oh, it's great. Fill her up, you know? Yeah, all the way.

2:18:15Chocolate, strawberry, a hint of nut. It's a bit nutty. I would say that is definitely not 45 degrees. No, I'm going to need a fresh bottle. That's 48 degrees. That's not going to work. Is this the 1992? Yeah, this tastes like 92. Tastes way too similar. I ordered 89. It tastes similar to 92, which, by the way, is fantastic. I'm not really looking for those amber notes. I'm more looking for the smooth finish that accompanies the 94. So if you don't mind. Bring me a bottle. I'm cool. I don't even need to try it. Just bring the red over here, uncork it, and leave it, and I'll drink it. It's going to be gone. M1 Jeff, what were you going to say? I was going to let Woodley know, man, you don't have to manhandle the bread. You grab the piece that you're going to eat, you cut it off, and you don't have to manhandle the whole loaf. Yeah, dude, but if it's sliced up like halfway, then you grab your piece, right? Then you have to grab the knife, and it's just a very awkward, uncomfortable thing. Pepper has it. How do you do it?

2:19:26Take the end piece, like he said, that you're going to grab. Grab that part of it. And then with your other hand, take the knife and scrape the rest of the loaf back into the basket. I don't like the end piece. But it's hard to do. The bread is hard. I don't like the heel. You can't go first, then. There you go. There's got to be. No, you can cut it. I'll tell you. You know what Rebecca did? What Rebecca did is she did it for everybody. Yes, which was wonderful. She did. She cut everybody. She cut all the little bread and put them in little plates and handed them around, which is great. That is a mom right there. Thank you, Jeff. Appreciate the call. You bet. M1 Danielson. Hey, what's going on, guys? I think proper bread etiquette is for the gentleman to offer the lady a piece of bread first before he busts into it. That's good. Yeah. But what if you're at a table with a big group? I guess same thing. I mean, if the bread was sat in front of, like, closest to me, I guess, whatever. lady was closest to me, I'd be like, hey, would you like a piece of bread? And if she wants one, I'd maybe offer to cut it for her. And then after she gives her answer, then I would go ahead and take a piece for me. Please, plebeian. Daniel's son is slick. Did you notice what I did at the restaurant? Both of them? No. I ordered for Jamie? Oh, yeah. Did you notice? It was so uncomfortable. I love that. It was uncomfortable. I mean, as long as... I actually saw him give a look to Rebecca like, oh, God.

2:20:46It's uncomfortable. Don't expect me to do that for you. It's uncomfortable. But I think that's like, as long as she's the one that says, babe, this is what I want. And then he's like, okay, cool. Got it. And then, but you said that she always wants things on the side. So do you special order things for her? Yeah, and then she'll add, and then she'll add her little, oh, and can I get extra blue cheese or whatever? Yeah, that's perfect. Some side of ranch. Love it. And the server, the server was so confused because the server takes the order and then had further questions. The server was not confused. I'm telling you, the server does one of these. Holding the nail. He's writing it down, looking at Woods, trying to pretend that Woods is not ordering for his wife, writing it down, writing it down. Got it. Got it. Got it. Uh-oh. I have another question. So then ask the question. And you can tell before you ask the question, he's looking at Jamie. He's looking at Woods. He's looking at Jamie. He's like. I don't know who to ask this. I don't know who to ask. I'll tell you what went through the server's mind. The server held up his paper. He's taken the order. Woods has given it to him. He's thinking in his head, darn, I didn't do this for my girlfriend last night. I should have done it to her. It's a class move. Okay, what if this question comes up? Now, do you need anything on the side? Does Wood handle it? Do I? Like, now next time when I take my girlfriend out, I'll know what to do. Know what he did? Here's what was going on in his mind.

2:21:58When he's done, I need to ask him if his daughter would like to have this dressing or that dressing. Does she need a high chair? Yeah. Really? Sir. Really? Sir, I understand that your wife is hearing impaired, so may I ask you to ask her if you could ask her, please, what she would like to do? The lady will have the linguine and clam sauce and a Coke with no ice, and I will have the same. And will you be cutting your food? No. It's a class move. It's a very class move. P-I-M-P. Yeah. It's very class. Is it P-I-M-P? It is. Very class. All right. You know that. Are you sure it's not W-E-I-R-D? No. It's not. You sure? M1 Harold. Hey, guys. How you doing? Good. What are the only two rules that count? It's only two rules, man. You're at a restaurant. You're there to eat. So once the food hits the table, you might as well start eating. Yep. The two rules you need to think about, don't chew with your mouth open. Keep your elbows off the table. Big problem with that. Napkin in your lap. You're saying that's the only thing you need to know? Well, no. Yeah, well. Other than that, anything goes? Hey, once the food hits the table, you're there to eat, right? Yeah, you are, but... You, like, push people out of the way? I'm telling you, man. No, no, no. Yeah, okay, I agree with, you know, once the bread comes, say you go to slice the bread, slice it up for everybody and slice it all the way through so people can just reach over, grab a whole slice. Grab bread when you want your bread. I have a problem with the napkin in the lap.

2:23:25Oh, wow. I mean, I do it for certain things if I'm going to use a fork and knife. But yesterday we were having pizza and pizza can get greasy. So I'm wiping my hands off with the only paper napkin that was provided to me. Then I have to put the greasy napkin back in my lap. Where did you put it? I put it back in my lap because I looked around the table and everybody else had theirs on their lap. What if we wouldn't have? I would have put mine on the table, too. Sheep. That's fantastic. You know what I'm going to tell you is I actually noticed that. Not that it was not on your lap, but all of the guys were the first to put the napkins on their lap. And I remember thinking, well done, boys. Well done. I look for that. And then there's one thing, too, that this is like the debutante in me, and I'm just going to say it, is when you're done with your meal, and this is how the server knows that you're done, is if you put your utensils, do you guys know where? On your plate. Nope, not crisscrossed.

2:24:22You put them in your person to your right's ear. I put them in my pocket. I think Jay knows. Yeah, you put them at just an angle. Four o'clock. Yep. You put both of them lined up at four o'clock. That's how the server knows you're done. I've always been taught crisscross. Knife and fork on the plate. Knife and fork on the plate. I had to go to etiquette training. So knife and fork on the plate at four o'clock. Right next to each other at four o'clock. I had no idea. Nor did I. I throw my napkin on the plate. That's how they know I'm done. So if you're at like a nice restaurant and you do that, the server won't ask you if you're done. They'll know you are. I want to know all those rules. I can help you out. I want to know all those rules. And I want to know about Pepper and the Napkin. That's a new band coming out this weekend. They're playing at the belly up tomorrow night. Pepper and the Napkin. Really good. This is Grant Lee Buffalo. Never heard it. Love it. Instantly. There's a lot of music I'm learning today that I just like and I never heard it. Honey, don't think. All right, I'm going to do this smiley thing. Yeah. And I'm also going to do this. Jessica, for dudes listening, Jessica Simpson has a thing that she does to test you. And I want to know if you as a guy would be cool with it. I got a test for her. Spelling bee.

2:25:52Listening to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Check engine. So many things can go wrong with your car. That's why Pep Boys invented one place that can make them all right. Right now, it's dollar days at Pep Boys. And the buck shopped here. Buy any three installed DFINITY tires. Get the fourth tire for a buck with instant rebate. By three, get the fourth tire for $1 instantly. During dollar days, get dollar-stretching deals, like a do-it-yourself 5-quart Pennzoil oil change with Purolator filter, just $15. That's right, 5 quarts and filter, just $15. Don't miss Dollar Days at Cup Boys, going on now. Whether it's tires, parts, or service, your dollar never went so far. With the light just coming, it's just everything. Call 1-800-PEP-BOYS or visit pepboys.com. Signs that say this is not an exit don't apply to him. His two cents have overruled Supreme Court decisions. If he rode in your car, its resale value would instantly increase. He likes the word fog. Were you to pass him on the street and he didn't see you, you would still feel like he said hello and asked you about your day. If you were stuck in an elevator with him,

2:27:25You wouldn't want to be saved. Even his treehouses have finished basements. His business card just says, interesting man in the world. Always drink beer. But when I do, for Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends. AT&T lets you build a bundle that's right for you. With wireless voice service, home phone, internet, and TV services. Cable doesn't have that. Wait till I tell my wife. Hey, Lisa. AT&T's bundle lets us choose our three services. Know what this means? We can choose three services. Exactly. So we'll get AT&T home phone. That's great, honey. And high-speed internet at home and on the go. It's terrific. I can surf sports sites all day. Right. Let's get the AT&T bundle with wireless voice service, okay? Well, why not the bundle with the TV? Because I want my own phone that your mom will be calling every two minutes. Mother-in-law joke? Oh, no. Really? Funny, right? No. Way to go, big guy.

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2:32:03Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Advil PM. Spend less time lying awake with annoying aches and pains and more time asleep with Advil PM. Injury crash 5 North Bend at Washington Street. It looks like it's moved off to the shoulder, but traffic a little sluggish there. And 805 North Bend after Bonita Road. We had some kind of debris in the roadway. It looks like it's still in the right lane. CHP heading to the scene. And 67 South Bend at Maple View Street through Lakeside. Van is stalled out blocking the left lane. Traffic also brought to you by Preparation H. Maximum Strength Cream. maximum strength cream for burning itching plus pain relief on contact it's the most complete relief from preparation h i'm elena o'brien fm 94.9 and now back to the mikey show with mikey when i used to be on the radio and my name was michael shannon and i i and i wore suspenders woods i buy sticker price for everything lauren p.s I'm going to get a wheatgrass shot. Ziena. That's why I keep the antibacterial hand gel in my purse at all times. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. That's good. Good. That's right. That's good. Woodsy's picking the music. That's Marvin and Tammy. That's all you need to know. Honey. These new kids got nothing on that. Sounds like they just had a fun time recording this, you know? It does.

2:33:37Makes me wish that I was live in 1973 driving a big old Oldsmobile. Oldsmobile or a Caddy that was red with a white top. That was my dad. He was 18 and 73. Lived in Detroit when all this stuff was blowing up. The Motown stuff, man. And that's where I learned it from. Yeah, I bet it wasn't a bad time to be in Detroit with Motown coming out. Dad worked for Ford. Just jamming Motown. Is there any better nap? No, seriously. You guys, guys in general are so good at dropping the gear. Oh, yeah. That was my dad in 1973. He was 18. I'm like, what? There's so much nap. Yeah. It's awesome. Dude, just incredible. Can't forget the Motor City. This is what I grew up on, dude. This is how I learned. So Jessica Simpson has this thing where she says if a guy doesn't put a ring on it, after two years of dating, she breaks up with him. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. What? Like, you're just going to... How long was she with Tony Romo? I don't think two years. I don't think so either. But I think Tony broke up. He did. He broke up with her on her birthday. Oh, yeah. That was messed up. Heartbreaker. But I think that, like, you're obviously with a guy for a reason. You can't just break up with him. The feelings are there. Well, I think that... Now, I'm speaking for Jessica, which I often do. But I think that the thought process here is...

2:35:02there's going to be plenty of fair warning leading up to it. That it's going to be like a, hey, you know, we're getting close, we're getting close, we're getting close. And it probably maybe even goes into two years and a few months or whatever. And then she says, hey, listen, it's obviously not going to happen. What guy doesn't want to hear that after a year and a half? Hey, just so you know, you got about six months left before you make it right. Yeah. Guys don't like pressure. Guys don't like pressure. That surprises me because she was married before. And usually once you're married, I don't think you would. You race back into another marriage. I know. You know what I mean? Yeah, it didn't work with Nicholas Shea. No. But in fairness to her, I dated him, too, and it just didn't work out. Dude, he was very rude to me as well. Yep. Just didn't. But a two-year rule? Are you okay with a two-year rule? No. No. Of course not. Pepper, you're okay with a two-year rule? Yeah, not for myself, but for her. Go for it. Telling him, forget it? Yeah, she knows what she wants. If you have a time period and you... are up front about it okay because then the onus is on the dude if a girl tells me and you know listen we're gonna date but at two years if we're not married it's not gonna be right for me if she told me that up front yeah at least i know the onus is on me okay but then you're crazy well then right you wouldn't be with you then she's not for you but she shouldn't be like

2:36:23How awkward is it for a guy when you're dating a girl for a while and one of your mutual friends gets married and they have been together for less time? And guys, you know, the girl looks at you like, so guess who's getting married? You're like, shut it. They've been together for just about a year. What about, have you guys got this? Oh my, did you hear that? Yeah, I did. Pepper, have you ever got this? Matt's reaching for that bottle of scotch. I guess I'm going to go write a song. Yeah, great. Oh my goodness. Let's see what's going on at KSON. Let me ask you, Pepper. Have you guys ever got the inappropriate couple that does this to you? You're having breakfast with Matt and you guys are having breakfast with the couple and somebody goes, when are you guys getting married? Yeah, every weekend. There's so many people that do that. I do not. do that. No. Such a weak, weak bit. It never stops, though, because then once you get, not that I know from experience, once you get married, so many guys having kids. That's the worst. Yeah, that's the next thing. Then when you have kids, it's like, what school are they looking at? Oh. Oh, they're three. Yeah, I know. Yeah, they need to be on the waiting list now. You really need to get them involved in the waiting list. Moron. Yeah, they fill up. There is always the, when are you guys getting married? There's the parents, like, I want to be a parent really badly. I love kids. You guys know that, but

2:37:52I don't want to be that parent. Like there's a parent at a birthday party I saw one time that brought his own food for his child. My child is not allowed to eat KFC. They didn't. They didn't. My child is not allowed to eat KFC or pizza. So I brought my child tofu, like literally like tofu and salad. I would get 100% get. Have my kids eat that garbage. Mikey, stop. You stop right there. It's a birthday party. It's a birthday party. You're not going to give them a cake either? They order a bunch of pizzas and you're like, Jake, come here. No, you don't get to have any pizza. No, no, no, no. Okay, if it's pizza, there's not. They're not eating lard. I know, but you said KFC. Yeah, KFC is different. And what if they're a vegetarian? KFC is not different. You've got vegetarians. KFC is delicious. It's so good. Your kid would be bummed on you. Dude. Don't be the guy that takes a Tupperware container to Jake's buddy's birthday party with tofu in it. I wouldn't take tofu. We know that. It doesn't matter what you take. If you obviously take bean burritos. Chimichangas. Come have a chimichanga. Chimichangas, you know, because I'm Hispanic. Caranitas. Would you do that? Yeah. Of course. Of course I would.

2:39:06If I brought my kid up to eat certain things and I was really opposed to certain things. Pizza at a birthday party. Pizza would be fine. And they could have their treats every once in a while. But say they were a vegetarian. They're going to somewhere like KFC. I wouldn't be like, you don't get to go to that party. Do they know they're a vegetarian or you're telling them they're a vegetarian? They're four. If I'm not even a vegetarian. Mom, I'm a vegan. Yeah, Mom, I've decided at five I'd like to step this up. Giving you a hypothetical. Vegetarian was good for the last 12 months, but I think it's time to step it up to vegan. Actually, now I'm a fruitarian. I guarantee there's kids out there that want to be vegetarians. Animal lovers. This is Pepper O'Brien's five-year-old son. Is there animal product in here? Is there animal product in here? Mother, is there dairy product in here? Mom, do you see this? I will slap you. Sure. Get this out of here, plebeian, artisan, farmer. Get out of here. I think that I don't know if I'm that person that says, when are you guys getting married? Like, I remember saying it to my friend like this week, but I said it to her and not in front of her boyfriend. You did.

2:40:15Is that still bad? Yeah. But it's like one of my best friends. And she's amazing. And I said, so when's the wedding? What is she supposed to say to you? I guess when he asked me, Sienna. No, but she hints at little things like, you know, for Valentine's Day, he got me this really pretty bracelet. And he even, like, commented on, like, the size of my finger, my ring finger. Like, he drops little hints. Okay, well, if she's in that conversation, I think it's okay for you to say, hey, well, when do you think it might happen? I think that's okay. But if they're dating and there's been none of that talk. No talk. Yeah, then that's okay. I feel a little bit better. I was worried for a minute. I was like, oh, my God, I'm that person. So, by the way. What do you say? When are you? Yeah, when are you guys getting married? I love Matt. What's happening? This would be a great couple. Can I be an usher? Yeah. When is it? I'll be the best man, right? Yeah. What about me? You'd be our butler. I want to be the best man. Matt. Come on, dude. Yeah. I want to be the ring bearer. When's this going? When's this going down? I'd say, hey, why buy the cow? Is that what you say? Oh, my God. Is that what you say? If somebody asks you. No, that's my mom's bit. Can you imagine? My mom says that, too. Does your mom tell you that? Yeah, I live with Matt right now. That's her bit. She says, why buy the cow? Yeah. Is there anything to that? What? Is there anything to that? Oh, yeah, for sure. So it's different if you guys live in both of you have one bedroom apartments. It's different somehow?

2:41:39Yeah, I think so. You get into a pattern where like, you know, you start to do certain things that you see your married friends do and you're like, wouldn't be that much different if we just put a title on it. Wouldn't be that much different. I feel no difference now that Todd and I are married than from when we lived together. It's the same. No, there's a difference. There's a difference. The difference is that if you get into a fight right now. Yeah, I can leave. Yeah, you can leave and you can break up with each other. Yeah, that's true. You can't if you get married. But the feeling is different. Back in the day when people didn't live together before they were married, once they got married, it was a whole new chapter of seeing all these little imperfections. And that's where Lauren's mom's coming from. My mom's the same way. It's like, you're already practically married. He's already getting you all the time. Why is he going to marry you if he already has it? Did you guys live together, Mike, before you got married? Yeah, we'd never do it again. We lived together for like, we got engaged and then we got married six months later. That engagement. We were going to murder each other. It was like we lived in a one-bedroom loft with four dogs, three dogs. And we were like, oh, my God, are we really doing this? Like, it was bad. I think it's important to live together. I do, too. She realized she married a giant slob. Why, Jay? You can see if you can work together. You see if everything you do is going to drive each other so crazy that it's not going to work. So Kim and I lived together for three years almost immediately when we met.

2:43:02And, you know, without that, because we definitely went through some ups and downs. During that time? During that time. But then when we finally figured it out, this was it. You know, it was like, bam, we locked it down and got married and had kids. You made it right. And, Jay, when did you buy your engagement ring for your wife? Probably like a month after I met her. That's awesome. We went and bought it. She helped me pick it out. Awesome. And then I hid it in a closet in the house. I would have found it. I know. She knew what it looked like. She knew what it looked like. That's awesome, though. That is so cool. You know me, man. I do not believe in that at all. What, living together? Uh-uh. No, I did. I used to believe in it. Well, you're right. I don't believe in it now because of my faith, I think. And I believe that there's a reason and a design to it. Sure. I think the design is that, you know, you're supposed to wait until you get married to do the boomba boomba. Right. Right. Which nobody has. I know. But. The design is that you're not supposed to wait until you get married. You're not supposed to live together. The thing about, well, you got to live with each other to make sure that it's okay. I wonder then how all of the parents used to do it in the past. I know. Because they all used to do it. And by the way, those wet marriages were more successful than ours.

2:44:20It's all relative, though, dude. I mean, it really is. But they were more successful, bro. Not necessarily, bro. Back in the day, the divorce rate now is 50%. But what are the ages? Do we have the ages of people getting divorced? My mom and dad, my dad, the pervert, he was 19 years old. She was 17, his bride. 53 years they've been married. That's awesome. That's awesome. My grandparents were married for 50 some odd years. But they didn't live together. No, no, they didn't. They didn't. There's something to it. Mikey definitely has a point. I agree. When you think about grandparents, how many grandparents are divorced, you know? Yeah. I agree. I agree. But it's, again, it is relative. And I think, now, listen, I didn't live with Jamie until we were engaged. Is that okay when you get engaged? I think that's okay. I think you wait till you get married. Do you? Wait, wait, wait. You come back from your honeymoon, I'm like, okay, so you're engaged. Are you having sex? Yeah. No, you don't. Awkward. You don't. But we've been having sex for eight years. No, but Mikey's saying his beliefs. He doesn't think you should live together yet. Now, look at it. Now, my mom and dad, according to them, didn't have sex until they got married. Right. And they didn't live together until they got married. 53 years. I can't argue with it. It's rad, dude. I mean, I can't argue with it. It's just rare. Do you know how many people...

2:45:29Say that their parents didn't have sex with her, they got married. And then it takes like looking at a grave tombstone or something to be like, wait a minute, I was born during that time. You know? Yeah. Well, I mean, I agree with you, dude. And listen, when I have kids, it's going to be, listen, hey, wait till you get married. For sure that's going to be the message. Is it going to get through? I don't know. I never got that message. My parents never said to me, wait until you get married. I think I did, but I think it went in one ear, not the other. I was looking at Playboy magazines at seven years old that I found from my brothers. You know what I mean? I did. I mean, and plus the other deal is it's also a cultural thing. Right now, culture goes, first of all, you are so stupid. If you're really, you're not going to, you're going to wait until you get married, dork. That's what our culture says. The other thing that our culture says is you got to test it out, man. You got to live together. Otherwise, blah, blah, blah. That's what our culture used to not say that. What I think is so fascinating about it is that that's back when stuff seemed to used to last longer. And now we're in this age and I'm including myself in it. We're all in an age now where it's just like we are bombarded with dork.

2:46:47symbolism you're a dork if you're a dork if you're a dork if and you're also bombarded with you are wrong with a big red big red lettering you're wrong you're wrong if you don't do it this way and that's tough to get over well i think Dude, I totally, totally agree with the sentiment. I really, really do. But, you know, again, is it practical these days? I don't know. I mean, that's the message that we teach our kids. Like I said, I know people that have lived with, like, four and five different people, which I always thought was weird. Like, I live by myself. I always wanted to live by myself. But living with four and five different people that you're dating, I've always thought that was a little out there, man. But I think, hey, if I had to do it over again, yeah, Jamie would have been my first. She would have been my last. And that's how I would have done it. Yeah. So there is regret there for sure. And I know you've said you regret it. Yeah, totally. Totally regret it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I really do. I really do. I wish that I had done it differently. And, you know, and the reason is because I think it would have been better. I think we would have saved out on some stuff. And if that's the only person that you've ever known, how awesome would that be? Yeah. That'd be phenomenal.

2:48:01I mean, we are a product of our times. What, Pepper, what do you say to your mom when she tells you that? I go, I know. I know. She doesn't even have to finish the second part. That was her bit all growing up was, why buy the cow and get the milk for free? So now she just goes, why buy the cow? Oh, wow. And you just go, I know. It's such a mom thing to do. It is. What are you freaking out about? Why don't you play it, dude? Frankie wants me to play this. What is it? It's a theme song, dude. Who's? A theme song? It's me and Wood's theme song, dude. Oh, great. Says who? Says who? I've never heard it. No. It's labeled up there in pink. Weird. Yeah, it is weird.

2:48:50This is your and Woods theme song? Yeah, dude. I just said that. Play it. Woods, did you know about this? No. Oh, let me tell you about my best friend. What? Because he's my best friend. You're off, Frankie. You're kidding. I want a music video to this. I'm so skeeved right now. That's weird, bro. That is weird. What? Friends that have theme songs. Friends don't have theme songs. No. You never hear that. Well, that's a TV show. Yeah, hello, friends. Did they have a theme song? They did. So friends have theme songs, dude. You know who else has theme songs? Best friends. Oh, they should. Besties. Dude, if you act like this when we get the band going, it's going to stink, man. What band? Oh, yes. I told you about it. No.

2:49:52You play guitar, dude. I play keys. You play what? I play keys. Piano? I play piano, yeah. Why do you call it keys? Are you Billy Joel? The keyboards, man. The keyboards. Tickle the ivories? Yeah, tickle the ivories. He's not tickling anybody's ivories. I'll promise you that. I got a friend named Mario, all right? And he's a club owner in the Normal Heights, Hillcrest area. Okay. All right? He's got a club. I asked him if me and my bestie could form a band and we can perform. I play keyboard and he play guitar. Shouldn't you have talked to your bestie first? It's a surprise. I thought I did, man. No. I thought I did. I thought I'd talk to you about it. I never heard anything about a band. Wait, did the club owner say yes? Yeah, he said yeah. He wants to print the flyers and everything. Oh, great. So you've signed me up for a gig. That's awesome. Is it? You're good at the guitar. I can play guitar. I've never heard this clown play keyboards. I took the liberty of, I had to give him a name of the band so he could print the fly. What's the name? Cookies and Milk. Cookies and Milk? Who's the Cookies? Who do you think the Cookies are? He is Cookies. I'm Milk. You're Milk? Oh, no. What's his Milk? I don't have to be Milk. Why wouldn't it be Milk and Cookies?

2:51:17It could be milk and cookies, dude. I just thought I had a battering, cookies and milk, you know? What's cookies all about? Cookies and cream? What do you mean, what's cookies all about? Why is he cookies? It's cookies and milk, dude. I don't know. Like we go together like milk and cookies. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. I want a music video of you guys to this song. No. Yes. Holding hands and skipping down a hill. Zero percent. I don't france anyway. Galloping. We've got to stop practicing, man. If you sign this up for a gig, then yeah, we've got to start practicing. We'll put the music video up online, mikeyshow.com. It will be awesome. We've got to rehearse, dude. I ain't going into this thing halfway, man. That's... That's what he said.

2:52:08I love it. Cookies and milk this weekend, man. Frankie, that is a good idea. Is it this weekend? This weekend? Yeah, dude, we got a gig this weekend. After tomorrow. What are you going to play? We're going to play all our favorite songs, man. Like what? No. Know what? We're not doing that. We're not doing what? That song. You guys should do this. Play this and hold hands. How are we not going to play this? It's our theme song. It's not our theme song. It is, dude, because it's talking about us being best friends. I'm out. I love it. I hate it. I love it. Wood, stop being such a party pooper. Can you just sign me up for a gig? Are we getting paid for this? Oh, we're not getting paid. It's publicity. We're a new band. We're not getting... I'll be there. I'll come cheer you guys on. When is your show at the Brass Real? It's Saturday. Frankie, do you need anyone else? I can sing sometimes. Sing backup or something. You know what I mean? Okay. I'm in if you need me. I don't know if it's just the two of you. It doesn't have to be. Okay, cool. I'm in. Be it. A little townsman.

2:53:27How about that? Kid was in a real, real mellow mood last night. I guess so. Is a kid smoking marijuana and picking songs for today or what's going on? It's just mellow. Hey, speaking of keyboards, I'm talking about computer keyboards here. And I know I'm talking to guys because no girl is going to care about this. I do. For sure. I don't at all. Want to know how to clean your keyboard? Yes. Me too. Me too. Me too. I'll tell you about it next. FAM 94.9 Imagine automotive perfection and a very affordable monthly payment. Bob Baker Subaru, Carlsbad, and El Cajon has it all. Like new 2010 Subaru Impreza 2.5Is for only $169 plus tax a month.

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3:00:25Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by McDonald's. Try McDonald's new sweet blended ice frappes made with a hint of coffee and topped with real whipped cream. Your day just got a little cooler and a whole lot sweeter. New frappes now at McDonald's. Camp Peddleton South 5 North on Oceanside Harbor Drive. We have large buckets reported in the roadway. CHP is going to run a traffic break to clear those, so expect delays. 163 at 274, we have a car that's stalled out partially in the right lane. 163 Southbound at Interstate 8. Watch out there for attention. table someone lost last seen in the right lane. Traffic also brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper is guaranteed to be 99.99% jam free. Don't you wish traffic was Hammer Mill Paper? No worries. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Is this somewhere you should be? Was it something that I said the time I held you down? Foo Fighters. What album, Woodsy? Their last one, Echoes, Silence, Patience, and Grace. Amazing song. It's almost like everything they do. Everything they do is good. It's not a couple, but honestly. Sienna. Yeah.

3:02:07You're going to tell us how we can clean a keyboard. Yes. Those things are disgusting. They're filthy. You don't know how much dirt and hair and food gets caught in there. And how do you clean it? It's electronic. You don't want to blow the circuit or whatever. So what you want to do is you want to first shut down your PC, unplug the mouse, disc, CDs, USB drivers, anything else that can be protruding from your machine. Turn the keyboard upside down. Give it a little gentle shake. Yeah, Willie Nelson's going to come flying out of it here. Guarantee you. I mean, hey. Go running off. If you go to any electronic store, Best Buy or wherever, you can get compressed air. Yeah. I didn't even know that. But you just blow off all the residual debris around and under the little nooks and crannies of the keys. You put a little straw in the can. Yep. That would have come in handy when I spilled that root beer in my laptop. Maybe one of our engineers will bring us one. We have some, I think, don't we? You remember when she did that? Oh, yeah. That was like two months ago. Oh, yeah. She dropped fruit beer into her computer. She had it like two days. Yeah. She had a computer like two days. She dropped it in there. It was my own personal laptop, not the studio's laptop. It fried, didn't it? No, it was fine. Well, they also say that if you're in a situation like that and you don't have compressed air just lying around, grab the hose of the vacuum cleaner. I was here. I just turned it upside down. You did? Hope for the best. Can I shook it?

3:03:35Yeah, she made it. You're saying that you take the vacuum hose and you turn the vacuum on and suck out the stuff? Yeah, once you hold your computer, like if it's your laptop, you're holding it upside down and you just bring the hose up to it and suck all of it out. Yep, and then once you're done with that, you put a couple... Really? Why is that weird? I don't know. It just seems like you're going to break it. I would think the keys would come flying off into the vacuum. No, they should be secure, you know? Yeah. And then once you're done with that, you put a couple drops of... I'm not going to say this right. Isopropyl? Isopropyl? Isopropyl? Isopropyl? What's isopropyl? It's a type of alcohol, I guess. Isopropyl alcohol. Like rubbing alcohol, but it says isopropyl. I-S-O-P-R-O-P-Y-L. And you just put on a Q-tip. Now, don't soak the Q-tip. You just need a little bit of dampness. And then you just get right around the edges and, you know, work your way. A little dab will do you. A little dab will do you. Real good. Last thing, get a lint-free cloth. You get a lint-free cloth. Like a chamois. Rub it down and then it will air dry. Right. Yeah. Rub it down. Yep. There you go. Clean keyboard. From American Idol last night, a performance, ladies and gentlemen, by Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter. Also known as Miley. Also known as Queen 40. I watched it. He's so mad. Can I say one thing about it? What? Okay.

3:05:06No, you're going to ruin it. I'm not. If you say what you said to me. Okay, fine. I won't say anything. Everybody needs inspiration. It looks like. See, that's what I was going to say. She did. She was sitting. Right now, no. I knew he was going to hear it. In the beginning, she's sitting at the piano performing. And this is a really powerful song. Her voice, like she has to strain her voice a little bit. She has a low voice. And it wasn't doing good when she was sitting. But as soon as she stood. Everything was all good, in my opinion. I listened to this song at home yesterday no less than seven times. Probably more than seven, but at least seven times. I listen to it all the time. Everybody needs a song. Sounds smoky and nice. Pepper, do you want to get some coffee? Whatever. Let's go take a break. Let's go take a break. I'm going to get my 15 pounds. See you later.

3:06:09Just wait until that hook hits, man. It's one of the best hooks I've heard in years. It's powerful. Yeah, it's like Stairway to Heaven. How dare you? Yeah, you know what I mean? It is. It is. I couldn't tell which one it was. That just, I mean, where do I go from there? I can't even, I mean, it's over at that point. There it is. She's still sitting down right now. Really? You think it's real bad? See, okay, and I love her, and I was not feeling this part. Whoa, I got creepy crawlies on me. You got the creepy chills? When she stood up, it was like a whole new world. Did she get judged? Please tell me yes. No. I think that was a little pitchy, dog. She's Miley Cyrus. You can't judge her. That was the worst performance. She looked gorgeous. If by gorgeous you mean farty, then yes, you're right. She had a long white silk gown on. Look, wow.

3:07:15Don't do that, Pepper. What? She gets that face. She gets that face. She does this face so perfectly. And it's just, it's the pursed lips. And it's like a smile. It's like a Joker smile. It's like Joker's girl. But that's the way her mouth is. It is not. Miley Cyrus? It absolutely is. It's like making fun of Angelina. Yeah, don't compare that. I think she's standing now. That's a pretty chick's voice. Woodsy? No, it's not. She knows the pretty chick's voice? Stevie Nicks. Really? That's it? Yeah. Sarah McLaughlin. Brett Michaels compared Miley to Stevie Nicks. That shows you what Brett Michaels knows. Yeah, but Brett Michaels also sleeps on a bus and wears a big bandana around his head. He has as much hair as Mikey does when he wears a freaking bandana. Yeah, he has extensions coming out of his hat.

3:08:24I don't understand that. It's like Hulk Hogan. He has extensions coming out of his hat. He has extensions coming out of his scrunched up straw cowboy hat. Mikey and Bret Michaels are identical until he puts the hat on. I'm sorry, man. That's a great song. Why does Miley get more mic time than I do on the show? Seriously. I mean, come on. Seriously. I love her. Taylor Swift. It's relevant. She was on Idol last night. It's irrelevant. It's a big show. Hey, Mike, I'm in agreement with you, dude. I think she's great, man. You're not helping. Frankie knows. Simon Cowell said Miley did a great job. What choice does he have? Oh, he has a choice. No, he doesn't. Please, he doesn't listen to anyone. This is his last year on the show. No. I think she did a great job. No, he said that her advice that she gave was all dead on. Oh, yeah, maybe her advice and her mentoring, but the song, awful.

3:09:24Does she write that stuff? No, 0%. Whoever writes the stuff, they're brilliant. I don't know who writes it, but whoever writes it, the stuff is great. I think it was Bob Dylan. Yeah, right. You would not sign his name. Maybe Willie Nelson. M1 Bill Mill. Hey, how's it going? It's going just great. It's going just great. It's going just great. It's going man-tastic as we're listening to Miley Cyrus. It's great music. Go ahead, Bill Mill. It's music. I've actually never heard this song before until you just played it on the radio. And it, like, gave me chills. Thank you. In a bad way? In a bad way? In a good way. Dead on. I'm talking dead on right there, that guy, Bill Mill. All I can do is be honest with you and tell you that I, you know, she played it for me the first time. I really liked it. We should play, like, a part of the song. Really? Did you, Artisan? Artisan. It's called Bill Mill. Mill Bill. Elaine, did you like... When I look at you. Peasant. Did you peasant? Did you like a peasant? Stop it. I don't know how much you liked it. Big surprise, plebeian, that you loved Miley Cyrus. Yes, you were probably dusting off your... Probably dusting off your Britney Spears compact discs.

3:10:50Well, you liked it. Is that right? Plebe tools. Yes, we're using your plebe tools and dancing around in your little... Your plebeian panties. Yeah, your Catholic schoolgirl pantaloons. Is that it? What? Well, it doesn't surprise me that you like. You know what I was doing while you were listening to Smiley Cyrus? What? I was dedicating myself to the craft of making wine. What does that even mean? I wouldn't expect it. You know what it means? What? Trans Alfaro. What? What's happening? Exactly. Exactly. That's what the real smart guy will say something to me and I'm like, huh? Don't you see? Right. And my point is proven. Louis Farrakhan, get it? Get it. Ramadi Sparks, get it? Homo sapien. Yeah, homo sapien.

3:11:51Hello. Hello. Maybe you've heard of it. Am I getting through? Earth to plebeian. Earth to plebeian. I'm like, can I just play my Miley Cyrus song, bro? Leave me alone. Can I just play the Miley Cyrus song? So this is the real one. When I look at you. I just got the gun from Pepper and Sienna. I can't even tell you what I owe you for introducing me to this song. Yeah, all of us. You are welcome. Gets in your bones. Maybe you guys talk about this on your own time. We do. Seriously. We do. There's three other members of this show, by the way. Falling asleep. Shooting themselves. Maybe you guys discuss it, you know. After hours. After 10. When you go to Lilith Fair. Shoot. She never played Lilith Fair. Maybe at Lilith Fair, you guys, you know, you talk.

3:12:52All you want about it. Maybe at the Teen Choice Awards. Yeah, the Teen Choice Awards, the Kiss FM concert. Hey, maybe the next time you guys go to the Mickey Mouse Club, you guys can, you know, reminisce. I'll be there. I'll be there. Reminisce about how much you like it. Love it. Brilliant artist. Fine. Oh, God, don't call her an artist. An artist creates their own art. Van Gogh didn't have people coming and painting for him. She's an actress as well. He didn't paint my numbers. Hey, you guys grab some brushes. I'll get some brushes. We'll all just paint, right? She had to tell everyone about the... The 16-year-old and the 27-year-old that robbed the bank. Okay, this happened in Connecticut. These brilliant, brilliant fellas. Albert Bailey, who's 27, and a 16-year-old boy who will remain nameless because of his age, they called People's United Bank on Tuesday. Employees answered the phone, told them, hey, get ready. We're on our way. We're going to rob you guys, and we're coming in minutes. So get ready. This is going to be bad. I wonder.

3:13:50what that 911, or what that phone call to that bank would have sounded like. I do, too. Bank teller. Hey, bank teller, you ready for me to bring on the heat, bring on the noise? Sorry. You ready for, you ready for, like, hardcore bank robbery? Uh, check. We're going to rob you. Yeah, we're going to rob you. We're going to rob you today. So you better just know that when about 10 minutes from now when we come in there, it's going to be hardcore, man. It's going to be bad, man. It's going to be Snoop Dogg. It sounds so tough. I know. Hard. Hard. Okay. I don't know who Snoop Dogg is, but okay. You said 10 minutes? You don't know who Snoop Dogg is? Yeah. Me and my friend are both coming in there and we're going to rob your bank. Why are you talking like that, dude? Dude, I'm trying to disguise my voice. Robert Martin. What? Why would you say my name? You're supposed to call me the Shadow. Why are you talking like that, dude? You're stupid. I'm trying to disguise my voice. I don't want to know who I am. You're weird, dude. We're going to be there in 10 minutes, and when we come in there, man, whoo-wee, guns blazing. It's going to be that scene from Heat. I'll be like De Niro, and he'll be like... Kill her. I forgot. I'm sorry.

3:15:08I'm sorry. Okay, that sounds pretty dangerous. Well, you know, we don't open for another 15 minutes. 15 minutes? Yeah. On the Internet? Break! Break! I know. I don't want to tell you guys how to do your job or anything. Too late. Well, I'm just saying, if I were you, I'd wait until the bank's open because you might... You know what? You'll pay for that. Okay. Get her today! Son. Son. Well, you do realize... Shut up, man! This is not funny! Are you there? Shadow says you're going to get yours to death. Shadow? Okay, well, you realize I have to call the police. Let's go, man! Let's go get her! Whatever. You know what? Ten. Count them down. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, Bane! Okay, and where are you located? I'm, uh, well, right now, where are we, dude? Dude, where are my parents at? Shut up! Word, his parents at 27th. Oh, it's so stupid. Hello? Yeah. All right, we have to go because we've got to come rob you guys. Okay, boys. We will see you. Yeah, later. Bye. Oh, wow. Mickey Mouse doing robbery. It's really a great way to change your voice. When the boys showed up at the bank, the cops were there waiting for them, obviously. I was trying to disguise his voice, obviously. Nice bit, coal miners. So inane. Oh, that was good. Tell me another potty joke. Is that retainer, girl?

3:16:39In the hallway? There she is. Oh, come in here. Come here, Susanna. She always looks so nervous when she's out. I know. She can't even get the door open. It's so heavy. It's in her business attire. Hi there. Hi, guys. Susanna is an intern in the... Accounting department. Accounting department. Yes. Beautiful girl. Thanks, Mike. You're welcome. She's a beautiful girl. She always smells so nice. Mm-hmm. And comes into the studio and... Sometimes brings us breakfast. Well, she brings... She brings Woods breakfast, you mean. She brings you guys burritos. I just bring... Whoa. You want to take out your retainer? Sorry. I was just saying, I bring you guys burritos. I just bring, like, the special concoctions that I make for Woods because he's got all sorts of... Excuse me. Oh, you get a little cold. He's got all sorts of dietary concerns. Yeah, you know me. Yes. you're familiar with the dietary concerns and you're sensitive to his dietary concerns. I am, yeah. That's nice. That's a nice thing for you to do. You know, last time you were in here, I remember it was a big deal because you were making a lot of jokes, you know? Yeah, I'm pretty funny. Some people may have thought that they were passive-aggressive jokes towards Woods' wife. That's crazy. He was in the studio that day. He was so crazy.

3:18:07So you like Jamie then? Yeah, she's great. Glad she's gone. You're glad she's gone? Did she just sneak that in there? Yeah, she did. You know what, Suzanne? Put your retainer back in for a second. Actually, it's Susanna, but thanks. Susanna, sorry about that. Sorry, Susanna. Sorry about that. So what were you coming into this? I'm sorry, what? She's off guard. Sorry. What were you coming in to tell us? Well, see, the thing is, Mike, last week I spent, like, seven days brewing up a special concoction. Santa, what did she say? Last week she was looking on the docks. Last week she was looking on it. She was brewing up a special concoction. Brewing up a special concoction. A little something special, a little secret recipe. Right. For Micah Boy was here. For Micah Boy. Micah Boy. Are you Micah Boy? I guess. Hey, micro boy. So you were blowing up something from micro boy. Why do you call him micro boy? I meant to say micro brew cheese, guys. What did she say? I meant to micro brew. She meant to micro brew cheese, guys. McGrew. Anyway, but somebody had company in town. Jamie.

3:19:25What just happened? Definitely take the retainer out. Definitely take the retainer out. Definitely take the retainer out. Take it out. Take it out. Get it out. Can't get it out quick enough. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, sorry. That's okay. I was going to say, somebody had company in town, and then I said, Jamie. Quite a drastic difference when she's got the retainer out and when she's got the retainer in it. Night and day. Yeah. Have you guys gone to lunch together? No. I'm married. I know. What do you mean? It's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't mean to go to lunch together like in a romantic way. I meant to. I don't think the wife would like it. No. Whatever. I can be your bestie just like Frankie. Yeah, great. I got a bunch of people wanting to hang out with me that I don't want to hang out with. What if. Oh, that was me. I want to wear your skin. What? What did you say? What did you say then, Susanna? I didn't see that. What did you say? You said, is Mike Mexican? No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Yes, I totally did. He is Mexican, yeah. Oh, okay. He talks about it a lot, so you should have known that by now. I want to wear your skin. I swear she said she wants to wear my skin. I'm pretty sure that she said that. Why would I say that? You know what? Put your retainer back in. Thank you. Put your retainer back in. What if we... I have an idea, Suzanne. Yes. What if we all...

3:20:55Went to lunch together. What if that? Yeah, that's okay. You don't want to go to lunch with us? Almost yet. What if we all went to lunch, though? That would be really nice. I don't have time for lunch because I'm finishing up another project. She's finishing up another project. Okay. Weird. Yes. Hey, these cookies are good. She's been making pastries. She made you cookies. Oatmeal, raisin. Delicious. And she said she's making pastries. No, no, no. I said I'm going to eat some rice. She got hurt. She got hurt. She's got her leg in a brace. I don't seek some speaks. She said, I don't seek some speaks. Yeah. I think that's what she said. I don't speak some speaks. I said I don't take lunch breaks. Oh, that's what you said. That's what you said. Back in. Anyway, so I've been working on a little side project. What are you doing? It's almost finished. What is it? I'm hoping it'll be done by the end of the day because I know you're going golfing today. What is it? I am going golfing today. Is that what she said? Yes. Go ahead. What? I... Go ahead. For the first time... Right? ...have welded some golf clubs. You have saliva all over your chin. You need a napkin in your pocket, I think. I have saliva on your chin.

3:22:01That's really unnecessary. I know it is. That's why I told you. Sorry. What did you say? You were welding? Yeah. What? I was welding some golf clubs. You were welding some golf clubs. For? For me. For Slay. Why? For Slay. Dude, my wife brought my clubs last week when she came. Oh, yeah. Is that right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Where's your wife? No. She's so special. Things are turning. I'm getting like a whole different... She's in Dallas. Getting ready to move here? Does it... That's going to be good. How does it make you feel that she welded you golf clubs? Pretty amazing. Pretty cool. I want to try them out. I mean, I have my own, but I'll try them. Okay, sweet. Why not? Nobody thinks that's weird that she welded? I think it's freaking weird, man, but, you know, I mean. The cookies are good, though. The cookies are delicious. That's really nice, Susanna. Thanks for stopping by. Yeah, thanks for having me, guys. Bye, what? Absolutely. Bye, hon. She didn't even offer me a cookie. No. She didn't offer either of us any. This is for me. What is the deal, man? She's getting a little feisty. I hope there's no poison in here or something. Wake up in the back of a van. Give me a roofie colada. You guys think I would look good in a fedora? Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. You can't just say that. You can't just say that. Mikey. Okay, let's take a break. And when we come back, we're going to discuss this like perfect adults, okay? Sure. I think that people are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time.

3:23:30You know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Coming to San Diego this Saturday, air. Air this Saturday at 4th and B. Tickets at ticketmaster.com. Brand of ethereal dream pop and electronica live this Saturday at 4th and B. Ticketmaster.com. For your tickets to Sea Air this Saturday, must be 21 with proper ID.

3:24:37Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What'd you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinate it for 24 hours, and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour, spicy, all at the same time. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Mama Testa Taqueria, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. Maybe I should write a jingle. Taylor Lava's. Verizon is the best destination for great family value. And that's good to know. Because if you make any more cuts to your budget, your children are going to riot. You've cut back on movie night and banned junk food. Lay a hand on their wireless, and the hard truth is, they'll be picketing the kitchen table in no time.

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3:28:28Get your risk-free 60-day trial plus a free refining face mask. Call toll-free now, 1-800-244-1946. That's 1-800-244-1946. We've been very aware of the issues on the safety side, but quite frankly, we've got a lot of respect for the Toyota brand. When I told my friends, you know, I was going to get a new Toyota, they were like, are you sure? And I'm like, you know what? I've never had a problem. These are actual Toyota customers talking about their recent purchase. And it's loyalty like this that has helped make Toyota the number one brand in America. So we're offering you our biggest thank you ever. For full details on these unprecedented offers, visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, moving forward. Sales claim based on motorintelligence.com calendar year 2009 sales. Don't just aim for the top, start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego.

3:29:25If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Honest Tea is giving you a chance to win a weekend at Coachella. Come to one of the random acts of kindness at Henry's Market for your chance to win. Plus, find out how to score an Honest Tea Respect the Earth reusable tote bag. Check out FM949SD.com for all the details. Now. More of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Dashboard confessional. I'm just saying that I wish I could wear a fedora. Please. Oh, yes. Tap the brakes, dude. I think it's cool. Tap the brakes. I just can't pull it off. Have you tried? No. Have you ever tried one on? Yeah. You know who could? Who? Humphrey Bogart. All right. And that's it. All right. And it stopped with him. Dick Tracy. What about Dick Tracy? Dick Tracy and Humphrey Bogart. Very clearly they're back, okay? Are they? Yeah, they are. They are. There's a few people that can pull it off. I think Mike Tracy and Humphrey Bogart. You know what else I like? I like those hats that Jeremy was wearing. Those are cool. They remind me of a mailman cap. They're the coolest thing ever. They are derby derbies. No, not derbies.

3:31:08I like the Irish. They have a smoking cap, no? It's like a beanie with a bill almost. A beanie with a bill. Like a jockey hat. No. No, like a paper boy hat. Paper boy, that's what I was thinking of. Like the hat with the two things for your beer cans with the straws that go down. Oh, like a cheese head hat. No, it's like a Captain Crunch hat. Oh, you mean a sombrero. Oh, it's like a pirate's hat. It's like a sombrero. Mikey. You get a fedora, we will not hang out. So you want one? Yes, you want one. But you just don't think you can buy it? Not now. Why not? Because of wood. Oh, come on.

3:31:52Let's see it. Let's at least see it. Hey, Woods is bagging on all of our shoes. Meanwhile, he's got these new shoes. Oh, they're so awful. These are amazing. With suction cups on the bottom that he could climb the side of a glass building like Superman. Spider Woods. You ever hear of this guy? Maybe you've heard of him? Maybe you've heard of him? His name's Hugo Boss. Yeah. Okay? That guy's legit. Yeah, he makes some real great suits. Yeah, exactly. They're Euro. They're Euro shoes. There's nothing wrong with that if you're in Europe. I'm in San Diego. Jamie Oliver. Those are great shoes. They slip on. There's no laces. It's weird. There's elastic across. Next time you're on the moon, you're set. These are sharp. You're good to go once you're on the moon. They light up when you step, too. Easy, Pocahontas. Please, I will talk about my moccasins all day. So will I. These are badass. I think you could pull off anything, honestly. I think you could. You know, you wear those, you know, whatever those shoes are, you pull them off. These are my DSs, man, my designer shoes. Your DSs. DSs actually are a type of shoe, so you'll confuse people by saying that. These are designer shoes. I'll just call them the HBs. There you go. Hugo Bosses. What can you not, is there anything that you wish that you could wear that you can't pull off, Pepper? That I wish I could wear? Gosh, no. Really? I think we proved the t-shirt challenge.

3:33:20I do. I think so. And hats, I think hats are the biggest one that people are always just, if you're not used to wearing a hat, it's uncomfortable. Sunglasses, too. Like, a lot of people think they like the big sunglasses, but they can't do the big sunglasses. But I have one of those, like, it's almost like a reggae, like Rastabini. No, it's like a gray color, but you know what I mean? It's like baggy. Haven't I seen you wear it? I wore it one time, and I got a lot of compliments. Yeah, I think I remember when you wore it. But I felt. So uncomfortable. I remember when you wore that and you looked great in it. I don't know. My wife desperately wants to be able to wear hats. Girls that can pull off hats are money. I think she could do it too, once again. She'd look hot. Do you think you could do it? Heck no. Really? Would you like to? Pep, I think you could pull off some... I do it on a bad hair day, like if I need to run, go get a burrito or something, but out in, like, real public? Like a baseball hat? Mike, you can relate. I can't wear any other hat but a baseball hat. That's why I only wear baseball hats. I've tried the derby. I've tried a pirate hat. I've tried everything. No! Yes, the other day in Target, I put one on as a joke. Wait, you have a picture!

3:34:39Wait, can we put it up? And I just, I followed my wife. I followed Jamie around the store for 10 minutes acting like an idiot because I was in a fedora. So obviously I'm an idiot. Were you like, yeah, see? Yeah, yeah, see? And she took a picture. She goes, take that hat off. You look like an idiot. I go, I know. That's why I have it on. It's a bit. It's my bit. What about if you go to the beach? I wear a baseball hat. I wear a baseball hat if I go to the beach. I'll be surfing in a baseball hat tomorrow. That's cool, actually. Yeah. I still like my visor. Oh, dear. I can't pull off a visor. Hey, Dad. Hey, Dad. How about a backwards visor? That looks cool. Wow. Upside down and backwards. I also, you know those shoes that girls wear? They're almost like ballerina slippers. Like the black. They're like little slip-on, little slippies. Is that what Pepper wears? What Pepper was wearing? Let me see. Hold them up, Pep. I can't put my leg over my head. Oh, wow. See, they're just like you slip them on. My wife wears those. So there's no laces. So they must be lame. Okay, well, they're not tennis shoes. Not on a 29-year-old girl. They're not. Those are tennis shoes. These are amazing. No, they really are, darling. These are amazing. Yeah, they're really. Michael, I got these in Gemini. They're great. I think that those shoes come here. They slip right on and off like Hugo Boss.

3:35:58I really like those shoes. And I just, I don't think I can do them. Why? Because they look stinky. They are stinky. You can't wear it. Oh, God, no. Smell it. Mikey's going to smell it. Smell it. They're stinky. They're stinky. I mean, they're not terrible, but they're not pleasant. How about try some socks on? Because you can't. That's the thing. Please don't. I wear moccasins. I'm not going to smell them, but let me see. Yeah. Smell it. Don't smell it. Don't lick it. Smell it. Smell it. Smell it. Loft it. Let me ask you, why would this be any different than any other shoe? Because I wear... I think the moccasins would be stinkier. She's got the foot panty. Do you wear these with no shoe? I don't have time for it. You mean no sock? No sock? I don't have time for that. I wear tiny little Peds. Little panties. Yeah, foot panties. I could wear the foot panties with those ones, but the ones I've tried on before, it shows the Peds. My little sockies. Peds, those little panties that come out of the head? I'm too self-conscious. That's Peds. Oh. I'm too self-conscious of, like, bad smells. And I want to wear them, but I don't know. I've never smelt it on you, Lauren. No. I smelt your moccasins one time. Yeah. How were they? They were fine. I mean, there was a little, you know, foot. Oh, stop. There was a tiny foot in there. Foot smells like popcorn. A little bit. Not mine. What kind of popcorn are you eating? Delicious. But it wasn't... If that popcorn is made out of corn chips and vinegar, then yeah, absolutely. That's what my feet smell like. Corn chips and vinegar.

3:37:23That's what Mikey did when I was filling in on the old show the first day I was in the air. They were making fun of my moccasins and he smelled them. And I'm like, here I am just filling in. They weren't that bad. Snipping my moccasin. They weren't that bad. You can get some Odorator powder. I have it. Oh, yeah. Those shoes that you have. They're great. Yeah, they're really good. Do you wear something about dancing? You wear them on the dance floor. Michael, I wear them everywhere. They're so great. You can't wear them everywhere because they stick to the floor. You can't do your dance moves because they stick to the floor. You know why? Because I have suction cups on the bottom. They do. They don't. They do. Little round suction cups. You see the bottom of yours. Yours do too. They do? No, hers are different. Except she's a girl. Because they're not mine. Sniff it. Sniff it. No, not sniff it. There he goes. He did it. He's sniffing it. Nothing? Wheat. It's like wheat. I'm like wheat. Shadow, you sweat wheat. I sweat hot wheat. What's up, Shadow? How you doing, Mikey? Good, bro. Oh, my goodness. Hey, I just want to tell you, I'm going to miss you guys. I'm going to miss the whole show and stuff. I'm moving to Ohio. Podcast. Why Ohio?

3:38:42I'm getting stationed out there for recruiting in the Marine Corps. There you go. We'll miss you. We'll miss you, brother. Get us online. Online, dude. Can I get you on iHeartRadio? Yeah. No, you can't. No, no. I was trying to look for it earlier. Not yet. Which one is it, then? Which app is it? It's 94.9. 94.9 has an app. You just type in FM 94.9, and you can get it on your iPhone. Or you can listen online. All right, awesome. Yeah, I definitely need to do that. Yeah, Mike, I've been listening to you ever since the Bay Area. I grew up in the Bay Area, so. Right on. Nice. Long-time listener, so. We're also on iTunes, aren't we? Yeah. Yeah, podcast on iTunes. Are we? We're all over the place. Wow. Thanks, dude. You guys listen in Germany. Yeah. Yeah. You can listen in Germany. I listen in Germany, Austria, Switzerland. Is it good? It's great. I have one more thing that I like that I'm not sure if I can do. What? And where. And I want to know your guys' opinion because all girls, I think, like this look. I'm in. What is it? And it's the look where the girl has like a little tank top on or something or just like a tight top. And then she has the skirt that goes all the way up to the waist. Like the top of the skirt is under the boobs. Yeah. Guys are not in on it. No. But I think it looks so cute on girls. It is cute. That's not cute. It goes all the way up to the waist. I think it kind of is.

3:40:05If I'm thinking of what it is, I need to see it. Why are you rubbing your eye? Do you have pink eye? You keep rubbing your eye, dude. Do you have pink eye? You are rubbing your eye. You keep rubbing it. Why are you rubbing your eyes? You keep rubbing your eyes. Do you have pink eye? Great. Can you listen to me for a moment? I'm stoked to go surfing with my eyes boogered shut, dude. That's going to be great. Excuse me. I was laughing so hard. I was. Were you? I was. You were laughing so hard you got pink eye? Yeah. I was laughing so hard I got pink eye. Great. Here we go. Great. I'm starting to itch. I'm great. Who has a Listerine? I'm going to wash your eyes out. Does anybody have a compact so I can look in my eye? Hold on. Let me give you mine. Okay, look. You can kind of see this skirt. All the way in. All the way in. Yeah. Sexy. Guys. God, that's sexy. It brings closer attention to the legs. It's sexy because you're looking at a model. Oh, I was thinking of the gazongas. See, I think that's, I feel the same as Lauren, and I think that's like over-highlighting over something. I'm like, I can't do it. The gazongas? Yeah, the gazongas. The agongas. But I think it looks so pretty on girls. I think it's a very sexy look. I mean, weird. Want to know why we're going to see monkeys on planes? Yes. Me too. I got an email. I don't know if we're going to get to it. Matthew Ryan, I can't steal you.

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3:47:29Now through March 31st, get .9% financing on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your local BMW center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash CPO for details. Nothing. Every opportunity in front of you. The world's forward-thinking companies behind you. The Pacific Ocean beside you. Nothing standing between you. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If I like rock music, you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. Woods. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. Lauren. I like looking at boobs. Sienna. I can hit some mean wiffle balls in our yard. And Jay. I can make 100 hush puppies in like 30 seconds. On FM 94.9. Chino Moreno did a site project called Team Sleep. That was for you, buddy. But this is one of the dudes from the band Pinback. The song's called 1111. Welcome back. It's a Mikey show. Why are we going to start seeing monkeys on a plane? Because it's the sequel to the Samuel L. Jackson. Monkeys on a plane. No, the Transportation Security Administration, the TSA, released a little article saying you can bring your service dogs on the plane. They don't need to be separated through security checkpoints or anything. And you can also bring your monkey helpers. Yeah.

3:48:57Did you know that there was even such a thing? Yeah, it wouldn't bother me at all to see an orangutan walk up to me as I'm sitting there and trying to sleep. Michael, I take my monkey everywhere with me. You do? You have a monkey? What does he do? His name is Clive. Of course it is. My Clive the monkey. He wears knickerbockers. What does he do? What do you do? He just does errands, gets my Starbucks for me. Everything I need. Gets dry cleaning. So he'll walk up to you and he'll hand you your Starbucks. I get caramel macchiato. And they just know what you want. Clive, get me a cheese danish. Clive, I don't want biscotti. That's great. You tell Clive you don't want a... What's crazy is, like, the security officers are trained to deal with the monkey helpers. They come with leashes and carriers. Clive! Clive! Extra venti! Extra hot, Clive! He doesn't really say extra hot, he's a monkey. Oh, great, great, yes, great, great. Oh, you can understand him. He's speaking at the same level.

3:50:15Thank you, Clive. Clive was a model. I love Clive. Is that how you met? He was a model. I was a photographer. When you first met Clive, he had a cocaine problem. He did. I got him clean. I sent him to Hazleton. Hazleton. Clive did not like the weather. He did not like the weather at all. Did they take his insurance? They took my insurance. I'm his handler, but he's more like my handler. Yeah, I got you. I'm feeling so uncomfortable with the monkey noise. Oh, man, Cleve. Yeah, it's something else. I want to spend time in this other story. We don't have time, so we're going to do this cat thing tomorrow. I got to tell you about the cat. We don't have time. All right. Tell me about the alligator at sea. Shut it. There was a very bizarre discovery by the Georgia Department of Natural Resources. They were out, you know, conducting study on the North Atlantic right whales when they discovered an animal that was not a whale. In fact, it was an alligator 20 miles out to sea swimming with the whales. Now, this is a Georgia alligator, and alligators are...

3:51:29freshwater species. Yeah. Typically. They can go in the saltwater, I guess, for a little bit, but they've never seen one go that far out to sea. 20 miles. Sometimes they'll go in, like, the shore break and stuff. He's hungry. You have such little arms and legs. You think it'd be really hard. Like Mikey. I knew it was going there. It's like Mikey. I somehow knew that it was going to go there. I didn't take it there. Your boy took it there. Yeah, you put it on the sea for me. He's going to knock it right off. He's going to put it on the table and knock it out of the car. So the little scientists that discovered the alligator, they took a picture of him, and then they just turned around. They left him? They left him because they couldn't risk having the gator puncture the boat. They weren't prepared to, like, pull an alligator on. Lauren's furious right now. Why would I be furious? They didn't save the alligator. Well, he may be fine. We don't know. Maybe he's a doctor. Really? He got out there, didn't he? Think about Mikey swimming 20 miles out to sea. Is Mikey going to be able to go all the way back? That would never happen because Mikey would never swim in the first place. Much less in the ocean. That's the craziest picture I've ever seen. It's just a little gator floating in the ocean. Crazy. That's the craziest picture you've ever seen.

3:52:40It's two nostrils sticking out of the water. This is actually the Loch Ness Monster, by the way. Oh my gosh, this is crazy. This is Nessie. It actually looks like it could be even in a lake, you know? I'm not on those weird German websites you're on, okay? So that's the craziest picture I've seen. He's long. He's swimming. An alligator is swimming with the whales. It's very long. He's very lean. He's very lean, Michael. It is one of the craziest things I've seen. An alligator out in the middle of the ocean? Come on. That could be a lake. That could be your swimming pool. It's a pond. It looks like the ocean. It looks like a black and white ocean. It is the ocean. There's lots of ripples. Woodsy's been shamed out of his cargos. Thank goodness. I'm out. It worked. Now you're wearing, I don't know, what are those? Some cargo-less, cargo pocket-less shorts. Straight Downs. Straight Downs. Straight Downs. Wearing a pair of Straight Downs. So we have a song that we put together to say goodbye to his cargo shorts. Oh, goodness. The kid is rarely wrong, especially about clothes. He reads GQ and shops at all the fancy stores.

3:54:03But recently he has been put in his place. When it comes to shorts, he's been slapped right in the face. He's ditching all his cargo shorts. He can't sleep at night. He's cut the cord. The kids made it right. That's the best part. That's awesome. He's been shamed so much by Pepper and by Red. My hair's not red. He's called an audible and ditched the shorts instead. He's working hard, but he looked just like a clown. He boxed shorts where your legs go straight down. You don't know just how this feels. His old shorts were tight. He's cut the cord, the kid's made it right. Gorgeous. This is beautiful. I dare you to not get that stuck in your head. Seriously. He's cut the cord, the kid has made it right. It's a beautiful, beautiful song. It's so nice. Thank you. What's my favorite line? He's been shamed so much by Pepper and by Red. My two ladies, the two fine ladies on either side of me. On your left and right. Uh-huh. 570-1949.

3:55:18Or you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. People are texting about all kinds of stuff. A big topic today was whether or not you should let your 17-year-old or your teenager text. Should you check their text and look at their text and see who they're texting and what they're texting. And now with the whole sexting thing, you're going to look at your kid's stuff. I can't believe Whoopi said fifth. That's what skews me out. That is scary. He was getting sexted in the fifth grade. He wasn't in particular, I don't think. I think it was happening. It was happening. Oh, it was happening. Girls sent pictures of them in their underwear. Would you be bummed if your kid was the only one that wasn't getting sexted? Oh, man, no. No, I would not know. Come on, dude. You gotta step your game up, pal. Aye, aye, aye. He's keeping his nose clean. He's so inappropriate. Whatever. Hillary just came in. Are they sending pictures of themselves in their underwear? You know what I mean? Disgusting. Better start checking your three-year-old's phone, Hillary. Her phone is blowing up. It's so crazy. It's your daughter, right? How old is your daughter? Three. This was the first topic that came up. Will you let your daughter have a cell phone eventually? Eventually. What age? 44.

3:56:40Like 12? 10? 12? Oh, God, not 10. No. Let's see. My nephew is 15, and I think he got one within the last year. What about safety? Well, by the time my daughter's 15, there's going to be so many awesome parental controls. So I'm going to be all over that. They'll be chipped. That's what I think I'll do. I'll get the phone that you control. You know? It'll be able to call one number, two numbers, me or Rebecca, and that's it. And no text? Just have no texting on there. Yeah. Or you put filters on there. Mm-hmm. So it looks for words. Yeah. You got to come up with keywords for it? Yeah, put in all the dirty words. I'll give it to Woodsy and have him type in all the words to look for. You guys bring me all your phones. We'll make it right. There we go. Just put in his regular vocabulary. That's right. M1 Chris? Yeah. What's up? Hey, what's up, Mikey? Not too much. Mr. Esparza. What's up, dude? What's going on? I just wanted to tell Woodsy. Dude, that was awesome, bro. I'm going to have that stuck in my head, not only this week, but next week. Thanks, brother. Dude, you are so Clown Royale. Thank you. I appreciate that, I guess. You are Clown Royale. King Clown. Yeah. That is a compliment. Cut the cord. The kid has made it right. I love it. It's fantastic. Let's see. Hill, what do you got coming up today?

3:58:01Well, I just ran into Owen in the hall, and he mentioned that our FM 94.9 about the music show with Mumford & Sons is now sold out. Dang it. So I'll play something off that new record. I grabbed that. Black Keys, New Gorillas, some Spoon. Nice. And then March Music Madness starts again around noon today. Nice. Very nice. Yeah, it's a Bowie Tink Floyd showdown. I saved you a cookie, by the way. Yes, of course. You know that. You know how I love you. He really did. I was beating these ladies off with a stick to save you one. Please, I didn't even eat one. Thank you, Hudson. You're welcome. We're going to take a little 20-hour break, and then tomorrow's Friday. Yeah! That's right. So you've got to be here tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. Mikey shows out late. Late. In Financial Media Station, Mikey in the Morning. About the music all day and night. 94.9. Get the music.