The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/26/10
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday March 26, 2010
Woods is nervous about going surfing with Jay so Frankie offers his support. Former Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton shake a lot of hands in Haiti and Bush uses Clinton’s shoulder as a hand towel. Sienna tells of a weird missing cat story and this gets Mikey to tell about his childhood family dog returning ten miles to the old house they just moved from when it got lost after a car accident. A M1 calls out Frankie on the air and MC Mel Dog teases him. Frankie can’t wait to launch the “Cookies & Milk” tour. An Email sets off a debate on prenups. Rep. Bart Stupac getting threatened audio and his reaction are next. Pepper doesn’t do baby-talk. Mikey went to Henry’s Market needing to pee and encountered some unruly teenagers in the parking lot. Mikey gathers some great words for The Incorporator but the phone call won’t go through, so poor Woods stews in his own juices. Neil Diamond busts out a funny tune about The Kid surfing. They finally get a hold of the liquor store and The Kid kills it with his made up California style gangster barbeque! M1 Hawk is really Woods’ dad. Sienna sings and she’s definitely getting better. Sarah Palin stops in to promote her new show. UFC fighter Joey Beltran comes on to talk some MMA. M1 Bookworm lives up to her name. Sienna’s husband is such a stud his nickname used to be “Todd the God” and Sienna won’t let him get a facebook account for this very reason. Osama Bin Ladin issues a new statement, how does he get internet in a cave? Poor old guy in Tijuana gets jailed for soup. Silliest April Fool’s pranks is next, followed, by new movies and Mikey’s testimony.
Bumper Music
1. Talking Heads – “Psycho Killer”
2. Johnny Cash – “I’ve Been Everywhere”
3. Tears for Fears – “Head Over Heels”
4. Stevie Wonder – “Higher Ground”
5. The Cure – “Friday I’m in Love”
6. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – “Maps”
7. Led Zeppelin – “Ramble On”
8. MGMT – “Electric Feel…”
9. Violent Femmes – “Prove My Love”
10. Bob Marley – “Kaya”
11. Bruce Springsteen – “Spirit In the Night”
12. Depeche Mode – “Personal Jesus”
13. Nirvana – “Polly”
14. The English Beat – “Mirror In the Bathroom”
15. Joy Division – “Love Will Tear Us Apart”
16. Jane’s Addiction – “Been Caught Stealing”
surfingnicknamesgermaphobe controversymissing personspet storiespersonality teststerrorism audioprenuptial debateincorporator gamemikey showpepper nicknamebush clinton
The show featured Mikey, Woodsy, Jay, Pepper O'Brien, Sienna, and Lauren discussing everything from surfing antics to personal stories. Highlights included a bizarre surf‑training bit with a baby bjorn, the origin of Pepper’s nickname, and a heated debate about George W. Bush’s hand‑wipe on Bill Clinton’s shirt. The team also shared quirky listener tales—like the returning cat Alfie, the homing dog Dixie, and a false Natalie Holloway sighting—while revealing Myers‑Briggs results and reacting to a Bin Laden audio message. Throughout, callers weighed in on topics ranging from germaphobia to prenuptial agreements, keeping the studio lively and unpredictable.
What happened, in order
Surfing Baby Bjorn
Mikey describes his plan to surf with Jay using a baby bjorn‑like carry, joking about wearing a belt while surfing.
Pepper's Nickname Origin
The crew explains the three‑part origin of Pepper O'Brien's nickname, from pepper stuck in Mikey's tooth to her fiery personality.
Bush Hand‑Wipe Controversy
Discussion of a video where George W. Bush wipes his hand on Bill Clinton's shirt after shaking hands with Haitians, sparking a germaphobe debate.
Natalie Holloway Coral Misidentification
Aruba vacationers mistake coral and fish for the remains of missing teen Natalie Holloway, leading to a false alarm.
Returning Cat Alfie
A family’s missing cat Alfie is found alive nine months after being buried, having supposedly traveled via a delivery van.
Dog Dixie’s Homing Instinct
After a car accident, Mikey’s dog Dixie travels ten miles back to the old house, suggesting pets have an internal compass.
Myers‑Briggs Personality Reveal
The crew shares their Myers‑Briggs results, revealing Woods as an extrovert and Mikey, Pepper, and Sienna as INFPs.
Osama Bin Laden Audio Message
A newly released YouTube audio of Bin Laden warns Americans about captives and criticizes U.S. policy in Afghanistan and Palestine.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyJayPepper O'BrienSiennaLaurenMattRebeccaJoey BeltranChad CorvinBrock LesnarFrank MirShane CarwinGeorge St. Pierre
40,147 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. It's always good to do the live audience. We love it. We've got a full house in here today. And we've got a lot to cover, too. We've got a lot of ground to cover. And we would love your phone calls. 570-1949. Or you can text us. 949mikey at gmail.com is the number. Five people on The Mikey Show. Myself, I'm the host of the program. 39 years of age. My name's Mikey. My boy Woodsy is 34 years of age. And he does sports for us. And is going to be surfing for the first time today. Like a third time. Is it? Yeah, it's like a third time. First time in San Diego. First time in San Diego. What'd you surf? I surfed in Kauai and I surfed in Barbados. Nice. I didn't know there were waves in Barbados. You don't worry about it. That's nice, dude. Plenty of waves.
Real sweet. Jay's taking him out today. She doesn't believe me. Jay's taking me out. I'm scared to death. It's going to be fun. Scared to death. Jay knows what's up. I know. That's the only person I would go with. Taking care of the kid. That's right. He knows what he's doing. He's going to have his hand inside my belt loop the whole time. That's good. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. You can't wear a belt when you're surfing. You can't? No. It's a figure of speech. Yeah, I know. Dude, I can surf pretty good too, man. Really? Yeah, I'm pretty good at it. Today's just going to be me and Jay Frankie. No, dude, I'm telling you, man, I can work with beginners. I've always been able to work with beginners. It's like a gift I have. Really? Yeah. What I got to do, though, is I got to put you in a baby bjorn. No, I'm not going to be in a baby bjorn. It's like a full-size baby bjorn. You get in front, right? Like straddle you? No, dude. The other way. It's weird, man. Yeah, you point the opposite direction. You sit in the baby papoose. Well, so when we're paddling out, I'm paddling, and you're on my back. Yeah, I'm on your back. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I'm on your back, and then we get out there when we find a good wave. Then we both stand up. You jump in the baby bion. You're facing forward. I'm balancing. That's awful.
By awful, you mean perfect. No, I mean awful. It's the best way to learn, man. I mean awful. Suit yourself. Sounds a little difficult to balance. And here's the deal. I got to paddle while he's laying on top of me. That's so good. I help you paddle, bro. Do you? I wouldn't leave you hanging. Those tiny little T-Rex arms of yours, they won't even reach the water. Freaky works out. I don't know. Yeah, dude, I work out. I got a lot of power in my forearms. Great. Great. Right. Let's see. Pepper O'Brien is the girl sitting over here to my right. You think that's funny? People keep asking me why we call her Pepper. So I'm just going to say. You don't have to say it every time. You don't. You don't. They keep asking. I know. That's fine. All right. It's okay. That's half the battle. It's just the way it is. We'll say it for 100 years. You know, the funny thing is it's got more than one meaning. Yeah, it does. It really does. It does. Why is that one? You know, because you're like, you're like. Hot like a pepper. It's spicy. That's right. I'm fiery. You are fiery. Irish cyclone. The other reason for it can also be that she can be kind of like, ooh, a little bit of a Mount St. Lawrence. That's what I meant. Spicy. I thought you meant like, ooh, you are a spicy girl. So it's a three-parter. It's a three-parter. It's a three-parter. The number one reason being that I had five pieces of pepper stuck in my tooth. Yes, in your grill. That none of us saw. No. None of us remember seeing said...
Pepper in her teeth. I would call you out if I had seen it. Oh, yeah. I would have been like, hey there, Pepper. I got home and I was like, ha, ha, ha. Ooh. Whoa. So I do it all the time. Yeah. You're like an idiot. It's awesome. Sienna is the lovely gal to my left. And they don't just run in the family. They gal. That's right. That's right. Jay is that handsome devil over there. He's separated by glass. Probably the most awkward studio design ever. He's behind me to my right, separated by glass, and see him through the glass. He has to face away from us. Yeah. It's the best part. It's a challenge. We're going to have a new studio that is called Studio M, and Studio M will be here sometime before 2011. I can't wait. Yeah, and that studio will have him. facing us. And so I'll be able to, I'll be able to look at him. I'll be behind you guys, but I'll actually be able to see him, which will be good. Uh, and, uh, there it is. So there's a lot of things happening out there. One of the big things that people are talking about, and you can call us 570-1949 or text 949 Mikey at gmail.com. One of the big stories out there is the story about, uh, George W. Bush and him shaking hands with, uh, Bill Clinton. Now Haitians,
He was shaking hands with Haitians. With Bill Clinton. Oh, he didn't shake Bill Clinton's hand. No, they were just there together. Oh, I got you. I got you. Okay, now you said the video is actually on your blog. I put it on my blog, yeah, mikeyshow.com. And you can see this for yourself. But President Obama asked the former presidents Bill Clinton and Bush to go lead the U.S. relief effort in Haiti. So there's video of them going shaking hands with a bunch of Haitians. And the big deal is when Bush stops shaking hands, he kind of turns. And swipes his hand against Bill Clinton's shirt. Really? As if, you know, to wipe off his hand. Really? What's wrong with that? A big reason why people are making a big deal about it is because he kind of has a past of doing this. He does? He once used a woman's shirt to wipe off his glasses. And he's just kind of known for being, you know, a little bit of a germaphobe. Now, is there audio to it or no? I don't know. I didn't listen to the audio. I had it on my laptop and the sound was off. Okay. I'm going to play it, but I don't know that there's actually any audio to it. Okay. We can put some audio behind it. Okay, yeah. Maybe we can do that. Why don't you shake that guy's hand right there? I don't like Haitians, man. What's the problem? Why don't you just shake? Why don't you like Haitians? I don't like Haitians. You've never been here before. You don't know what you're talking about. I'm from Texas. I know you are, but just shake hands. It's the worst George Bush I've ever heard. Without question. Did you see it? It does sound like oil.
That's George Bush. Oh, he did. He did. Oh, he did. On the video, they keep repeating it, so you see him do it over and over again. He shakes the person's hand, and then he wipes his hand, his right hand, on Bill Clinton's right shoulder. Amazing. As if to do it real smooth, like, oh, whoops, I just am swiping against you. Yeah, like that. I think he's a germaphobe. I am, too. I mean, when I shake people's hands sometimes, you never know. Come on. I don't like. You know, I don't like that. Well, here's the deal. One time did it, did me in. It was this one time. There was this, I remember doing an event and I shook this gentleman's hand and it was as if he had just taken his hands out of a bucket of applesauce. Dude, I wanted a ShamWow. I wanted a ShamWow. I wanted like squeegee my hand. Was it sweat? Oh, yeah. Applesauce. Sweat with little beads or something. Is it lumpy? A little lumpy. Lumpy with chunks? A little bit. That's incredible, man. Incredible. And ever since then, I've had this fear of it. It created a phobia. Dude, I dated a girl that had, it was called hyperhidrosis. And her hands would sweat. She the girl that looked like Pat Ewing.
No, that was my first girlfriend. My first girlfriend resembled Patrick Ewing. I hope she's listening right now. Just like Patrick Ewing, but kind of cuter. Kind of cuter. I mean, I was young and she was... Patrick Ewing. She was morally casual, so I didn't have a problem with her. Morally casual. I think I know what you mean there. No, but this girl had... I mean, you would hold her hand and you'd be like, really? She had Botox shots in her hand. Really? Yeah, to stop her from sweating. There's something you can do, too. They clip something in your armpit. That's a vasectomy. Your gland? No, that's a vasectomy. And that's not the armpit. It's not the armpit. It's another place. It's a different place. Whoops, my bad. If they clip your armpit, you're in trouble. Those are the ones that don't work. She's like, I thought you could stop having babies by clipping this thing in your armpit. They just clip it, and it's done with. It's done for. Yeah, the sweat in the hands. But I do think that it was rude to wipe it on Bill Clinton's shirt. I love it. Do you mind, man? What is that on my shirt? Give me a freaking break with that. It's gross. And then the other big news that's out today is a few weeks ago, there's a couple in Aruba. They're diving. They're snorkeling. Vacation. Scuba diving or something, right? Mm-hmm.
And they thought that they, well, they thought they saw human remains and took pictures of it with their underwater camera. Well, they didn't know what it was at first. They were just underwater with their camera taking pictures of, you know, fish and coral and all this stuff. And they took a picture of what they thought was coral and fish. But when they got home and they developed it and they checked out the pictures, they looked closely at this one and it looked like the missing girl from five years ago, Natalie Holloway. And so they brought it in to the police, the FBI, and they just finally did the search. This story broke last week and they dove down yesterday and it is official that it was just... coral and fish. Now, they don't know if they checked the exact spot, but they looked, well, you know, because... Yeah, how could you know? They're vacationers. They're not like, we were, you know, three miles west. 42 longitude, 36 latitude. Right. You know, so they described the area as best as they could, and they were just off the shore, and they said nothing, they could only find coral and rocks. Woodsy said that when the story first broke, and when I looked at the photograph, maybe it's me,
I didn't see what they were seeing. I mean, maybe if you have a really vivid childlike imagination, you can go, yeah, that looks just like Natalie Holloway. I don't think so. I mean, it doesn't look like her, but it looks like it could be a skeleton. It turns out it was the Loch Ness Monster. Yeah, it's Nessie. It even looks like there's clothes on it. If I were to see that, I'd be like, wait, that's weird. And then what if it turned out it was her and you never said anything? Clothes on it? Really? Like a little shirt. Is that a juicy sweatsuit? Yeah. I don't know, guys. I'm seeing a juicy sweatshirt. I am not seeing that. I didn't either. Can I see it, Mike? No, I think it says Lane Bryant right there. Well, I have an imagination. I guess. Yeah, that's real, real vague. You know what I mean? I could see where that could be a skull, but it could also be a conch shell. Yeah. Jimmy Hoffa. Right. I'm not seeing it when I look at it. It looks like there's dark sleeves. You guys. Well, you know what, too? I think that after, you know, five years or whatever, clothes would definitely still be intact in the ocean. Well, maybe it was a wetsuit. Looks like Davy Jones' locker. Yeah, could be. Well, they didn't find anything, unfortunately. I bet they didn't find that.
I bet they didn't get out to the same place where that was. I bet they're looking in a certain area and they're like... It's two dudes. They're swimming out like, yeah, there's nothing here. Let's go. Back to the beach. What'd you see? Turtle. Fish. Big old giant turtle. It was a beautiful mermaid. Yeah. Sea cucumber. Yeah, I saw a cute sea cucumber. I saw some anemones. Anemones. Beautiful. I was going to just say that word, but I didn't know how to say it. I didn't want to say anemone. So I just said, I'll let Mike do it. A sea anemone. This is a really, really weird story about this family that had this little kitty cat. Yeah. And probably really sad when they lost the kitty cat, right? It was so sad. The cat was missing. A couple days later, one of the parents found what looked like the cat, and it had been hit by a car. So they had to come in. We found Alfie, the missing cat. Unfortunately, it was killed by a car. It got smushed right near their house. Smushed. Smushed. I don't think they used that word, but I did. And so then they did a whole burial with the whole fam, with the kids, sad, you know, said nice things about Alfie, the amazing family cat. And then nine months go by. They move a mile away. Wow. And they get a phone call from one of their old neighbors.
Hey, you guys, there's a cat that looks just like the cat you used to have, Alfie. And it's just like just staying in your yard all the time. It goes up and scratching on the door. And so the mom, you know, drives back to see what's going on. It turns out it was Alfie, the family missing cat, nine months later after they already buried what they thought was Alfie. Stop, because it's creeping me out. It happened to my wife. The exact same. They had a cat named JJ. And J.J. got out. It was pouring rain. They found a cat that looked just like J.J. They buried it. It was, I think, two weeks later, my wife's mom was watching the Oscars. And remember Heaven Can Wait? It was, I think, Warren Beatty. Neil, yeah, Warren Beatty. Warren Beatty. But it's about, like, angels and things coming back. She's watching them give the best picture or whatever. And she hears, meow. And scratching at the door, it's JJ. Weird. At the front door. Weird. It was so weird. Was she afraid of that cat? No. I would be afraid for the rest of that cat. They were so happy. Like Pet Sematary. Yeah. It's like Pet Sematary. It's a lie. Creepiest movie ever. You know what I would do? Yes. You know what I would do if I saw the cat there? What? Go home. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Get. Get. Shoot. I don't care if you're the same cat. You're weird. You're weird. Where have you been? You're weirding me out. Where have you been? Yeah.
You want to hear another crazy part of it? And I just can't. I don't know if this is true, but they took Alfie, the cat, to the vet. And the vet said, I guarantee you this happens all the time. The cat probably climbed into a delivery van and was taken like 30, 40 miles away. And it took all this time, the nine months, for the cat to get back. How would the cat find its way back? Because they're brilliant. They are. They know their way. They know, man. Dogs, too. Dogs, too. You know, when I was a kid, 12 years old, we moved many miles away. Probably 10 miles away. And we used to live in Yuma, Arizona. And in Yuma, there's the mesa and then there's the valley. OK, the whole layout of Yuma was that there's a this area on top and then you drive down this hill. There's the area on the bottom where people live. We used to live in the valley, moved up to the mesa and it was a 10 mile drive. When we moved. We moved everything from the house into the new house. The last thing that we left at the house was the dog. Okay. So we left the dog. Well, we moved all the stuff. We had her with her food and her water. And the last thing that mom was bringing was a couple of odds and ends and the dog. Okay. So my mom puts the dog in the car. She comes home. She goes and picks up some chicken and gets into a car accident. My mom does. Gets into a car accident. It was actually a pretty bad car accident. She hurt a leg.
Well, in the car accident, the dog got out of the car. And the dog went back to the old house. Oh, my gosh. Ten miles away. How weird. But you guys were able to find the dog? Yeah, yeah. Well, all she did is go back to the other. Like, you know, in a really freakish thing, my brother said, is there any way? Let's go back to the old house and check. Sitting at the front door. Shut it. Yeah. What was her name? Dixie. Little Angel Dixie. Little Dixie. Little Angel. Little Angel. Dixie. Went back there. Wow. I know. So dogs and cats, I think they have an internal compass. I know. That they work on. 570-1949 or text us 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Some of the texts that we're getting. Mikey. W is not a germaphobe. He's an inconsiderate jerk. I agree, because if you were a germaphobe, you wouldn't touch other people's stuff. It says, and the woman's shirt incident was the David Letterman show. I guess a bunch of people are around him, right? He's got to clean his glasses. So there's an assistant of Letterman standing there. He wipes his glasses on her shirt. That's messed up. It does. It sounds inconsiderate and rude. Imagine if someone just did that to you and be like, that's my shirt. Yeah, I wear glasses every day. I don't wipe them on your...
shirt or your shirt? You would, I bet. I totally would. Well, you know her. It would be one thing to know her. It would be another thing that's a complete stranger. Let me see that broad shirt for a second. Yeah. Come here, Nancy or whatever your name is. I don't know your name. I'm just going to call you Nancy. Sally. Hey, Sally. I'm going to wipe my shirt off. I might wipe glasses off on your shirt. Let's see. Today, Lauren is picking the music while talking heads. How about that? Is it? Sure is. Why is one of the UFC's biggest draws not fighting tomorrow night? Woods will tell you in Woods on Sports. And you can get a hold of us at 570-1949. It's the Mikey Show on a Friday with a live studio audience. And the studio is real good. We'll be back with that and more. It's all coming up next. Part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text... More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Ryan from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What'd you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pie?
Largo, what are you doing here? Let me tell you about the al pastor tacos, man. We marinate it for 24 hours and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour, spicy, all at the same time. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles, we're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation, really. Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Maybe I should write a jingle. Now you can. Get exceptional offers on new and certified pre-owned BMWs during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas. Lease a 2010 BMW 128i coupe for only $279 a month plus tax. Or a 2010 528i sedan for only $489 a month plus tax. Or get up to $2,500 spring drive credit plus 0.9% APR financing on select models. And don't forget, you can save thousands on our huge selection.
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Preparation H maximum strength cream for burning etching plus pain relief on contact. It's the most complete relief from Preparation H. We go to 78 eastbound after Melrose Drive. Watch out there for reports of a pedestrian walking in the center divide. Traffic a little slow and go 5 northbound between Via de San Ysidro and Interstate 8. Traffic also brought to you by Advil PM. Spend less time lying awake with annoying aches and pains and more time asleep with Advil PM. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show. On FM 94.9. Hello, me. Pepper's picking the music today. We got a live studio. It's a Friday. Yeah. Real good. I say we get right into this. Let's get right to it.
are wrapped up with Woods on Sports. I got a little surprise for you about Woods on Sports, Woodsy. Oh, do you? Oh, yeah, yeah. You're going to love it. You're going to like it. I like surprises. Good. Crazy night in the tournament last night, you guys. The number one seed Syracuse lost to Butler. Really? Butler scored 11 straight points to secure the victory, man. They're one win away from going home to Indianapolis, which is where their school is located. That's where the final four is. So that would be really, really cool for Cinderella to be playing in their hometown. Who is about to win in our brackets?
Oh, I think my money has got to stay on Sienna. Staying on red, I think, for now. Yeah. Mikey, you are totally, almost totally out. You've got Duke as the only surviving team, and then you've got them out after the next round. I'm mathematically eliminated. Pretty much. Yeah, unless everybody else loses everything else. Don't think for a second that I had anything to do with my teams doing well. Or me knowing which teams did. Todd gets a fresh hundred for that. Yeah, there you go. Well, like I said, Butler's one win away from... Their first Final Four. It's going to be phenomenal if they can pull it off. Here's their coach, Brad Stevens, talking about how proud he is of his bunch. Cut one. You know, I thought one of the, obviously, you always want to play well. And we played really well in the first half and had that 10-point lead. And I thought we got a little tentative in our attack. I was really proud of their moxie. We've said this word over and over in Indianapolis, and that is resolve. Resolve, pal. And these guys have resolve. I mean, it's hard to measure, but they got it. You know what, dude? You got Moxie. You know that. I've always said that, dude. You got Moxie. That's why I put together our band, Cookies and Milk. What does Moxie mean, Frankie? What does it mean? Yeah, tell me. It means you got some shimmer in your shake. Oh. It means that when you need somebody to lift you up, you got to call somebody with Moxie. And that would be what? That would be me. Yeah. There you go. That's why when I'm at my duplex and I need to be lifted up, I call my best friend.
And I never go, do I? He hasn't come yet, but he's like... But he's got moxie, though, bro. That's true. You know what I mean, man? Yeah, well, it's a sad day for Andy Bernard. Why? Because he's a fictional character, and his fictional college lost last night, Cornell. I mean, they're a real college, but he doesn't really. You're talking about the dude from The Office? Yeah. Andy? Yeah, Andy. He doesn't really go to Cornell. Does he not? Well, he's a fictitional character. Well, in the show, he went to Cornell. So if the show was real, he would be really bummed out today because they lost to Kentucky 62-45. Last night was very cool, too. They had a double overtime game between Kansas State and Xavier. The final score was 101. To 96. Really? That's like double. That's like doubled a college basketball game. Today is a big day for Washington Wizards all-star Gilbert Arenas. He'll be sentenced today on violation of felony count of violating the gun laws in the District of Columbia. Brought a few unloaded weapons in the locker room. Kind of made a joke about it. Had a cavalier attitude about it after. Prosecutors are seeking three months in jail for him. So today is the day. We may even find out during the show. So we'll keep an eye on that.
Staying in the courtroom, Ryan Leaf has been sentenced to 10 years probation. He broke into somebody's house, stole some pills. He's been kind of a train wreck. Now he's living in Canada, and he's selling vacation packages. Are you kidding me? I'm not kidding, man. It's insane. Isn't that crazy? He's a travel agent? Yeah, he's selling vacation packages to corporate clients at a resort. That guy used to be able to throw a football like 70 yards. Over those mountains. Yeah. Him and Uncle Rico. Him and Uncle Rico could throw it over those mountains. Yeah. Seriously. Well, the Eagles are ready to deal quarterback Donovan McNabb. Word is they won a pick in the first 42 picks of the draft. So good luck next year with Kevin Kolb as your starter. That's all right. We'll take a couple years to get back in the game. Can you believe Pepper? She's an Eagles fan, and she's like, Pepper. Yeah, the guy, he's led them to five NFC championship games in 11 years, and he's won one NFC title. Why are you so out on that guy? He's done a lot for that football team. I'm not out on him. You're not? I'm just not that sad about it. Really? It's like, okay.
You had your fun. And as we talked about in the tease there, Tiago Alves, who was one of the biggest draws in Saturday's UFC 111. It's going to be in Jersey. Yeah. He had to withdraw due to his concerns about irregularities in his head and brain. So here's UFC president Dana White on Alves. Cut three. What happened is that there was an irregularity with his CAT scan. So we're going to take him to a specialist, get him looked at. and uh make sure he's okay sometimes when these these cat scans pop sometimes they're inaccurate i mean he's a young guy um and uh you know not a guy who's taking a lot of damage that there should be something wrong but you know stuff like aneurysms anybody can get an aneurysm i mean happens to regular people all the time so make sure it's safe we're going to check it out we'll make sure he's okay That's UFC money man Dana White kind of downplaying the incident, which I was surprised about. But still, though, it should be a great night for UFC fans. George St. Pierre will be taking on Dan Hardy for the title. And that'll be the main event that night. So that is Woods on Sports, my friend. Got a couple of phone calls at 570-1949. This is M1 Good News. What's up? What's up, Mikey? What's going on?
Dude, it's good to hear you on this new station, man. I like the new crew. They actually sound intelligent. Thank you. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I've got to ask you something. I've got to ask you something. What's up with Frank and his obsession with would-be, dude? Is he leaning towards men or what? Why would you even say that, dude? I've got girls all over me. You've got a girl in the studio who wanted some, and you're backing off like she's the plague. Dude, it ain't that. It's just that she's always like, I'm a germaphobe, and she always wants to touch me. Oh, come here, Frankie, boy. No, don't do that. Come here. Come here, you little one. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Frankie, why are you getting so mad? It's Meldorg, man. It's Meldorg. Every time she comes in here, she always wants to put her hands on my pecs. I don't want my pecs touching. Don't touch my head. Don't touch my head. With chikorilla muscles. Come here. Yet you're willing to strap Woodsy on your back, bro? Hey, listen, man. I've observed. the way that Woodsy keeps himself intact, all right? He does it real good. The guy cleans himself. He's very clean. I've observed his cleaning practices. He's very moisturized. That's creepy. That's so scary. He's very moisturized. It's true. Yeah, and so the guy's very clean. That's all I'm saying, man. Plus, not only that, we're best friends.
Come here, clean this, Frankie boy. Don't do that. Come here. Don't touch me. Don't. It's clean. Don't touch me. You like it. We're best friends, aren't we, Woods? I guess, dude. So good. Yeah, me and him riding down, roller skating down the boardwalk. Skipping down a hill. On a beach cruiser. Picking ice cream cones. No. A tandem bicycle. Drinking our drink like this with our arms intertwined. Catching a football on the beach. Yeah. Playing frisbee. Throwing snowballs at each other. No snowballs. You throw the frisbee and Frankie will jump up and catch the frisbee in his mouth. Yeah, he will. It'll be really cool. Frankie just tucking you in at night. In more ways than one. I can't decide, man. Like, should this song be the first song that we do? Yes, cover it. Speed it up a little bit. Or should we do this as like the encore? Our band, Cookies and Milk, is going to play this weekend.
I say kick it off with no rehearsals. By your band, you mean just you and Woods. Me and Woods, man. I thought you said I could be a part of it, Frankie. You could sing backup. Just do it from your house. Oh, Frankie! What? do it on the phone you can't just have a guy there has to be a girl somewhere hey yeah at your house oh frankie and we'll do it like on the phone and we'll put a speaker phone there for a cool effect right it'll be really great do you think that we should at least practice maybe once i do man that's what i was thinking this weekend i gotta move and i was thinking you can come over to the duplex and help me pack no how is that practice Well, we'll practice afterwards. I'll buy some Kentucky Fried Chicken. We'll sit around. Yeah. We'll have some chicken and wine, dude. Chicken and wine. Chicken and wine? Some Merlot? No, I was thinking some white this time. We'll go the Chardonnay route.
We'll get some chicken just like dudes, man. Every dude likes to get together with his bestie. For sure. And just drink some wine and have some chicken, dude. My boyfriend does that all the time. Sounds awful. Yeah, bro. Then we'll go online. We'll go onto the Facebook. And I'll just put it on there. I'll be like my status. Sitting with my bestie. Drinking some wine. There you go. How about some mimosas? Yeah. Yeah, we'll do some mimosas in the a.m., bro. Fine. Go to brunch. Yeah, we go to brunch. Ooh, that sounds nice. Sounds good to me. I'll brunch with my bestie. That's right. M1 Rampage is on the line. What's up? What up, Mikey? What up, dude? I'm actually calling because I have to disagree with Pepper. What up? Yeah. With the whole, you know, Georgia Bush is an inconsiderate jerk. I have to think about the fact that, you know, on the Letterman show, like, if it was a Jonas brother who walked up and, like, blew his nose on the girl's, you know, shirt, that shirt would be up on eBay right now, you know? Without a doubt. Yeah, that's true. JoJo, this is snot. Yeah, exactly. That thing would be going for a couple thousand right now. For sure. You know, when Bush does it, because he is a bit of an unpopular guy right now. Or, I mean, because he's the president. Yeah. Or he was. At the time, he was. Yeah, and as far as Bill Clinton goes, you know, like, you reap what you sow. Like, that dude's never wiped himself off on someone else. What? Really? Pretty funny.
Really? Pretty funny. Have you ever done that before? Have I ever? Yeah, have you ever wiped your hands on somebody before, you know, like kind of not realizing and you just wipe your hands on them? You know, I actually, I love germs. I do too. Who doesn't? Like the way I see it, as many germs as I can collect, that's making me all the more invincible. That's right. That's why I like $20 bills. Exactly. I'll do it again. Thank you for the call. We have an email here. We have an email here. Okay. I thought that I didn't have it, but I do have it. This email says, Mikey, where do you stand with prenups? I was shocked to have my fiancee ask me to sign one last Sunday. He's very successful. And I'm a teacher here in San Diego. I'm 27. He's 39. And he has never talked about. prenuptial agreements before. I feel like he doesn't trust me and also that he is thinking about divorce before we're even married. I'm not calling off this wedding or telling my parents that I'm not getting married because of this. I just feel so mad that he even brought it up. I don't care about his money. M1 Cheryl. Well, listen, there's a few ways to. I am very against prenups. I'm really against prenups.
The reason I'm against them is because I feel like you're putting a stipulation in for something that doesn't exist. I also don't want to sign anything that says, in the event that you shoot me in the face, because my expectation is that you will not shoot me in the face. That's the expectation going in. Now, I know that there are a lot of people in the world that shoot others in the face. I'm not one of them. And the reason that I'm marrying you is because I have an expectation that you're not one. You're comparing a divorce to someone shooting you in the face. You're right. Divorce is worse. Wow. So I am comparing getting married and getting divorced. I do. The only thing that I think, and I've said this before, but the only thing that I think warrants divorce is infidelity. That's the only thing that I'll, other than that, I've made an agreement with my wife that.
We're going to stick it out. What if about lies? No, you work through that. You go, listen, a lie. Here's a lie. A lie is somebody going and wiping their nose and there's snot pouring out of their nose. The lie is the snot. The problem is a cold that needs to be figured out, dealt with and fixed. But the symptom of the problem is a lie. If they're lying, there's a reason you're lying. You shouldn't have to lie. But if you are, there's a reason you are. I'm not arguing with you. I think that 100% you should work through it. And I'm not a fan of divorce, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for a prenup. Really? Nope. Really? Why not? I think that if you have money and look at what's the divorce rate, 50% now. Yeah. It's crazy. And just because you know that you're not going to cheat and you hope to God that person that you're marrying is not going to cheat. You know them, you're marrying them for a reason. But if for some reason they do and. Like you said, that's the only reason you'd get a divorce. If that person's going to take every last penny you have, because in California, it's a no-fault state. They're going to get your money. I thought if it was infidelity, though, that that was not the case. I don't even know. I know. I know that it is.
If it is infidelity. So it's a no fault state in California. Yeah, they still get half even if it's infidelity, don't they? At least. Yeah. They can get if that person that that cheated. Right. Say, Mike, you and I are married and I cheated on you and you had a lot of money. Yeah. If I cheated on you and I wasn't working. You get half of it. I would get a ton of money. Half and alimony. Now, here's the deal. Here's the deal. I am. If I'm playing this thing right. If I'm playing this thing right, my wife Rebecca is not cheating on me if I'm playing it right. But I may have played it wrong. Now, if I have played it wrong and I have so grossly miscalculated her character, A, it's on that part of it. It's on her because now she's going to miss out on me and vice versa. But also it's a consequence. It means that I have grossly. overlooked some things in her character yeah but people change you know and that's what sucks yeah and
do you think everyone that's ever got cheated on when they got married, they were like, you know, obviously they thought who they are going to marry is not going to cheat on them. Yeah. Obviously they thought I'm in love with this person. They're in love with me. This wouldn't happen. Not if you, not everyone, but the majority I'd like to think who jump into marriage. If the deal is, well, if you get married, don't you pretty much think that the person that you're marrying isn't going to cheat on you and doesn't pretty much everybody think that the answer to that question to me is no. Not everybody thinks that. In fact, you can usually find the people that don't think that because they're the ones drawing up something called a prenuptial agreement. They're not quite sure. See, I don't agree with that. No, if you ask me to sign a prenup, that's saying to them, don't really trust you. Don't really trust you. If someone handed me a prenup, like I just got married, if Todd handed me a prenup, don't think I'm going to do a backflip in excitement that he just handed that to me. Would you sign it? Yeah. Really? I would. I 100% would. I would not. You know what I would say? The thing is, is I know who I'm marrying. He's been divorced before. You know, don't think that his first marriage, he didn't think he was going to get a divorce. Yeah. You know, that way he's protecting himself from what failed him previously. You know what I'm saying? What? Get. Get. Just get. No, I just... Get. Why? What's wrong with protecting what you have?
He wouldn't be marrying, he wouldn't propose if he didn't want to marry you. I say there's nothing wrong with protecting what you have. In fact, I have insurance on my car. Right, protected. And the reason I have insurance on my car is because there's a possibility, statistically, you know, that I can get into an accident. Now, my wife, different story. For me, different story. And the reason is because I feel confident. in her character. Now, see, I think that if you go, if you do the prenup thing, yes, I do believe that it is saying something to the person you're asking to sign the prenup. Yes, I do believe that. But I also believe that what it says something more about is what you think about them. I see your point. I'm not arguing with what you guys are saying. I'm just saying in my own belief, I think that there's, you know, I think the person's protecting what he has. He asked me to marry him for a reason. He loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of his life, or else he wouldn't be asking me. And you know who you're marrying. Just like you said, you know Rebecca. You know she wouldn't cheat. I know Todd. I don't, by the way. I'm relatively sure. I've made a judgment call about...
and made a discernment and judgment call on her character. I could be wrong. I could be wrong. But if I ask her to sign a prenup, and there are women that I have dated where I have thought, huh. Now, I didn't have any kind of dough that I'd be like, oh, you know, what are you going to get? You're going to get my Toyota? My beat up 1978 Toyota pickup? You can have it. Yeah, dude, I'm worth $9. So that's, I mean, she gets $4.50. I'm still a pack of smokes. I'm good. Yeah, if she got half of it, she would have got $200 from that 1978 Toyota. But the deal is that when I did that, this is the statement that I was making to her, you know, when I would have thought about. That kind of thing. The statement would have been, I trust you. I totally trust you. I don't believe that you're going to cheat on me. Pretty much. But? Pretty much. And I see what you're saying 100%. Like I said, I would not be thrilled if someone asked me to do it. I'm telling you, though, that I would sign it. I would have my doubts and we would have a long conversation. And it would be, you know, something that is not ideal. I don't have a prenup, you know, right now. Is it different for men and women? What do you mean?
Would Todd sign one? Probably. Would he? Yeah, I don't think he would care. I would. You would sign one? No. No. I would care. I would care. I would care. If Rebecca had said to me, I want you to sign a prenup, I would say, you know, I might not be the fellow for you. You know who we haven't heard from? Who? Pepper O'Brien. Hey, Pep. Would you ever sign a prenup? Yeah, right. You know the answer to that. You know that. She doesn't even want to change her last name. I'm going to take this prenup along with my bra, and I'm going to burn it. I'm going to burn it in the yard, and I'm going to burn down your house. I couldn't have articulated it as well as what you said, Mikey, and I totally agree with it. And also, anyone that dates me knows that... If you're going to cheat on me or whatever you're going to do that's going to end that marriage, I want nothing to do with you, including your dirty money. Wow. Love it. The Irish cyclone would come out. But on the same token. But if it was your money. What? Oh, I don't have anything. No, but okay. What if you did? Obviously, if you're asking someone for a prenup, you have money. You have something to protect. That's what I'm saying. And you're not telling that person who you're asking to sign, I know you're going to try to steal all my money. You're not doing that. It's just a way to protect yourself.
I think it's over 50% divorce rate now. I'm telling you. And I've seen it personally, just people taking so much. Yeah. And it just destroys a person. Yeah, I think so too. Now, at this point in my career, I've got, you know, I'm a homeowner, all that stuff now. If, God forbid, anything ever happened to my wife and 12 years from now I remarried. Yeah. Because that's what it would take. Oh, absolutely it would. I'd be over stroking you, stroking in your head, warm cloth on your head. If that was a deal, then I'm telling you, if I met someone else, I would never ask that person to marry me unless my discernment and judgment had come to a point where I was comfortable being in that relationship with them, knowing full well. that if they cheated or if they went south that half of my stuff was going to go which i wouldn't like by the way right and i think is the filthiest thing in the world absolutely um but i think it comes down to discernment and judgment jay i i know somebody that this happened to five years ago they met the the man of their dreams she has big money and
You know, pretty much thought that she was done. She wasn't going to find somebody in life. She's a little older. Thought she was done in life. But she had all this money. All of a sudden, she meets this man. And this man's just everything. It's like, wow, whirlwind romance. They decided to get married. And she thinks, you know what? I'm going to do the smart thing. I'm going to do prenup. Prenub. As Jay liked to call it. As I like to call it. And thank goodness she did. They just got a divorce because he just finally just quit caring. And it was all a ruse to get her money. Okay, here's what I think about that situation. I would be willing to bet a lot of money that when she was dating that dude, there were little red flags. Now, she probably doesn't talk about those red flags. No, absolutely not. In fact, during the time that she was getting married, those red flags would have never been spoken about out loud. Those red flags... are only things that she kept in little boxes in the very back of her mind, in a little room in the very back of her mind that on the door of that little room, it said stuff I don't want to deal with or talk about. And that's where those boxes were. Now, because she knew that those rooms were there, she did this thing where she said, I'm going to be prudent. I'm going to do what is only responsible. Now, if you were to question and go, well, why is that necessary? Why is it?
She would say, well, because I've got this a lot of money, I'm just being safe. But in truth, there's this door that she's not willing to acknowledge that says stuff I don't want to talk about or acknowledge. And as time went on and the honeymoon wore off, he started to do exactly what she knew. In fact, there's a lot of times where you'll notice a guy or a girl. I will be willing to bet you that if something were to happen to me and I were no longer here and 35 years from now, my wife remarried. Because that's how long it would take her. Because that's how long it would take. That's what you like to think and I like to think and all of us do. Right. Just never get married again. Never get married again. But if she ever did find love again, which I would want. Would you? Dude, I really would. Get it. I'm telling you the truth. You wouldn't would? No. Oh, that's selfish. I absolutely would want Kim to. No. I would not either would. No. I love it. I love it. You just miss me all day long. Are you guys crazy? My wife has told me if something happens to her and I get remarried, she will haunt me. She has told me that she will haunt me. That's so hilarious. She is. She's like, yeah, good luck. Good luck.
swarming over my bed. That's so great. Scares me to death. That is so great. Literally, I'd be a monk. I'd have to be a monk the rest of my life. But if I did, if anything ever happened to me and Rebecca were to remarry, my guess is that she would find a dude that matched my description and matched my personality and my sense of humor and the list would go on and on and on. And the reason is because We like what we like. What we like usually has a look. That's why a lot of times like you'll find these guys, right? And they will have something that just absolutely drove them crazy in a marriage. And wouldn't you know it, they find it. You know what I mean? It's like a record. It's like a record that's skipping, you know, or women that they go, that guy, I am so glad that I'm not with my ex anymore because he. used to do this thing where he would leave his clothes all over the apartment. And she'll meet a guy and he'll be like, oh, I do not do that. I don't do that at all. And then they get married and what do you know it? Three months down the road, clothes all over the apartment. She's like, I can't believe that he said, he even said, listen, you can find it instinctually. Sure. We find it instinctually. I don't know how we do it, but we do it. Sienna. I think that.
As far as Jay is the woman he knew who got the prenup and then you saying, you know, I agree with with the warning signs that she must have gotten that she stored away. But I think a big problem with a lot of people is that they see these warning signs and maybe depending on the way they were raised or the way their parents were, they don't necessarily know that they're warning signs. You know, they don't know what it will turn into. And they're just excited to be with the person that they love. So they're going to get married because they love that person. Rose colored glasses. Yeah. And. So many people do that. And it's not like they're they're not necessarily aware of the warning signs the way that that you are, you know, or the way that some other people may be because they don't see the warning signs as a warning sign. No, it just seems normal. Well, why else would people be in an abusive relationship? Yeah. People don't. It doesn't register the way it does to others. And that's the thing. See, my idea here is that when we're in a relationship and we're dating somebody. We take a look at stuff and we go, good or bad? Good or bad? Is that okay? Yeah. Is that cool? It's like a dating period is like trying something out. You're trying an outfit on, you know? Is this fit right? Is this the right fit? Is it comfortable? I couldn't have put that better. That is it right there. That's a good choice. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Dude, one of my favorite tunes. I'm a junior in high school. Me too. I'm like in eighth grade.
I think I was in my mom's stomach. Making out real good. Frenching. At a school dance. That's enough. That creeped me out. That creeped me out real good. Lindsay just made it right in terms of creeping me out. Frenching. Frenching real good. Remember the dude with the healthcare thing, the dude that changed his vote? He said, no, I don't want this healthcare thing. And then he changed his vote at the last minute. Guy's name was Bart Stupak, and he got some hate voicemails. And we have the voicemails. Well, we have a voicemail that he got. And then him responding to the voicemail. Did you say you had a surprise for me, by the way? Oh, yeah. Do you have it? Yeah, you got it? Okay. So listen to this. Listen to this. Before we break. This is an M1. This is an M1's kid. That's the greatest thing I have ever heard. Can we hear it again?
That is so awesome. It's the greatest, dude. It's the greatest. That's incredible. Be back with those little audio clips and our live studio audience. Next. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Coming to San Diego this Saturday air. Air this Saturday at 4th and B. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Unique brand of ethereal dream pop and electronica. Live this Saturday at 4th and B. Ticketmaster.com for your tickets to see air this Saturday. Must be 21 with proper ID. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. With KB Home, there's something great about 8. As in the $8,000 tax credit for first-time homebuyers.
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Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can beat Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Preparation H Maximum Strength Cream. Maximum strength cream for burning, itching, plus pain relief on contact. It's the most complete relief from Preparation H. Oceanside 5 northbound before Barcelona Road. Injury crash with a car that hit the center divide, then overturned. Currently blocking the middle lanes. Looks like now there are reports of several other vehicles involved. So definitely plan ahead for lots of delays going on there. And we have another crash going on. Hotel Circle. south eastbound at Interstate 8. It's a car and a bus involved in this one. Traffic is also brought to you by AutoZone. Now at AutoZone, get a five plus quart oil change jug or five single quarts of Alvoline conventional motor oil and a Fram Extra Guard oil filter for just $16.99. Restrictions apply. See store for details. Get to AutoZone today. I'm Elaine O'Brien. KBCT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Pepper.
Good job. Love it. Love it. Digging the Stevie. Oh, yeah. Love Stevie. Right. A little higher ground. Stevie Wonder. No scorpions today. That's right. What is your name? It's Bill, right? Is it Bill? It's Bill, but I like to go by Wolfgang. My mother named me Bill, and I said, Mother, I need a German name. I'm German. Right. Call me Wolfgang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a W, right? Yes. Yeah. But why would she, I wonder why she named you Bill. My mother was a strange woman, Michael. Yeah, so she, so there you were in Munich and she decided to name you Bill. Yes, and like I said, I go by Wolfgang. Yeah, you go by Wolfgang now. That's great. And you do fashion, right? I do all kinds of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet you'd love to know about. I'm not asking.
I didn't ask anything. I said you probably know a lot about fashion. I think that's cool. I know a lot about everything. Yeah. You see what I'm wearing. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's great. It's taffeta. You don't see a lot of taffeta. It's actually a tapestry. I pulled off my wall. It is? Mm-hmm. So wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You drew like a picture on your wall. Yes. And then you removed it from the wall and had it. I draped myself in it. You draped yourself in it. It's really beautiful. It's a different idea. I've never heard of that before. It's great. It's really cool. It's great. So here's the deal. Representative Bart Stupak. Sounds like stupid. Yeah. That's what I thought. Yeah, everyone does. They hear it and they think instantly. I thought of fart stupid. I said Bart Stupak. You thought fart stupid. I thought you said fart stupid. I'm sure he never got that gross. Never. It's because I'm seven, too. That doesn't hurt. 34-year-old man heard fart stupid. Anyway, he's the guy that changed his vote, right? He changed his vote, and he decided to vote for health care. Well, he started to get angry voice messages at work. This was one of them.
Mike, that's not the one. It's this one. You are one big piece of human. And think about this. There are millions of people across the country who wish you ill. Can I just say, who's that guy? Yeah, right? Who's that girl? She is angry. I think I know where she's from. You do? New Jersey? Sounds like a Jersey girl. No way. Are you kidding? Play it again. Could be Mrs. O'Brien. Hey, don't worry about it. Michigan. Congressman Tupac, you are one big piece of human ****. Right here. And think about this. There are millions of people across the country who wish you ill. She's a Jersey transplant. Maybe Pennsylvania. Maybe somewhere in the middle. Who is that guy, though? The guy that has or the girl.
That has, like, you don't have anything going on today? Plebeian. Yeah, plebeian. You don't have anything going on today? That's all you have to do. And I guarantee she had it written out and was like, who do you think you are? Amazing. Because my thought on it, whenever I hear that, whenever I hear stuff like that, I'm like, I'm not kidding you. My day yesterday was packed. Right. I had a lot of stuff going on. I had 18 holes to play. Oh, wow. Are you kidding? Wow. Good Lord. How'd you do, by the way? All right. Enough said. We'll talk later. So I had a lot going on yesterday. Now, some of it actually involved. Are you actually asking on the air, Pepper? Are you on the air asking silently? I know it was silently. Were you just showing Woodsy your teeth and going, do I have anything in my teeth? Yes. She's paranoid now. I am paranoid. She doesn't want another nickname. I don't want almond as my new nickname. Almond. Oh, wow. Just call me Cranberry. I don't want skins as my new nickname. Yeah, sure you do. So yesterday, I had a lot of stuff going on. A couple of the things that I was doing actually involved helping a couple of people. And so I'm like, so who is the dude or the girl that has the time that's like, you know what I'm going to do today?
I'm going to call or write to tell somebody what a jerk I think they are. Day ruiner. Day ruiner. They're day ruiner. A couple of those clowns on Facebook. I've seen them from time to time. That too. I guess it encompasses all of it. The voicemail lever. The voicemail lever is pretty ballsy, I think. Love fallsier than like posting something on Facebook and not even putting your picture up or something. You know what I mean? I don't know if you're talking to somebody specifically. Zero percent. M1 Erin. Generalization. Erin. Hey, how's it going? Go ahead. I used to intern for a representative for here for California in D.C. And all the time when I was checking voicemail, they would leave messages exactly like that. Oh, my goodness. That's insane. All the time. And even just answering the phone. Like when you're talking directly to a person, they would totally, I got bitched out all the time. Wow. If people have that much passion, why can't they put it towards good? Right. I mean, there's so much going on that could use people's help. So many more important things. I always forget to, I always forget this. Like I get caught up and I've said this for years is that I do try to rationalize with the crazy person. I'm that guy. I'm the rationalization guy. I'm the guy that tries to talk sense into somebody that's cuckoo.
Which there's no reason to do because you're not going to change their mind. It's precisely the reason that they're calling. There's a little bit of... You know who that woman is or that person is? Who? The self-imposed neighborhood watch person that sits at their window and they watch and they make sure. Yeah, you haven't cut your grass in two weeks. You know, like the busybody. And, you know, my bit is... Maybe you worry about what's going on in your house before you worry about what's going on in mine. Keep your eyes on your own. We all knew that was coming. We all knew. And also, because they're from California, some of them would call when the office opened at 9 a.m. Eastern time. So that means they're getting up at 6 to specifically call. Just to call. Yeah. Now, outside of that, I wonder how much of it is being put to good. Outside of the complaining. I wonder how much of it is being put to good. Yeah. Like when they call and if they're being listened to? Well, I'm saying, you know, outside of her calling and leaving or him calling and leaving the, you know, whiny message, I wonder if the rest of the day is spent in trying to do good for their cause. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. But I just know that it's like, give me a break already. Yeah. Do something good.
Get to work. Thank you for the call. I appreciate it. The telephone tough guy has never been one of my favorite bits. You know what I mean? Or the Facebook tough guy. Never been one of my favorite bits. Freddie Facebook. Yeah, Freddie Facebook. What are they supposed to do? Show up to your door? No. No. Bring it. No, I don't want that either. Well, they shouldn't do it. I understand. They shouldn't do it. But, like, they're going to do it because that's how they are. Worry about your own crib, dude. Don't worry about mine. I'm fine. 570-1949 or you can text. And the text is 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. On my phone screener, it says something about Facebook. Are they on hold? Are they coming on or no, Jay? It remains to be seen. Watch the dump button on this guy. We'll see. Oh, is he upset? He's upset. He thinks that he's the guy that Woods is talking about. Why would he think that? I don't want to do that. See, I don't want to start. Well, who's starting anything? I'm just saying it's easy to hide behind your computer. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well. Email me. Woods at MikeyShow.com. I'll chat. He's trying not to hide now. Can I talk to him? Talk to him. Why would he think it was him? There's a million people. Yeah, yeah. It's the most visited site in the world. Exactly. Beat Google. Mikey Show. Who is this?
Mike, this is me. You know who it is. I don't. I honestly don't. You sent me a text yesterday. I mean, a message yesterday on Facebook. I was the guy that was being a jerk. Oh, okay. Then I do know because I sent one message to somebody yesterday. Now, I thought I was kind, and I hope you did too. No, yeah. I'm just calling because I had some time on my own introspection and realized that the only reason that you guys are all right about the whole busybody thing. Can we turn that thing down over there? Because that's causing a... It sounds like a Hendrix concert. It does. It does. It sounds like a Hendrix concert. It sounds like Jim Woodstock. Sorry about that. Go ahead, man. And, you know, I'll try to be the guy to build people up. But, you know, when people are down in their life, they can resort to their own weaknesses and start to tear people down. And you know what, brother? I will say this on that, and that's it.
I want to talk to you about that. And we'll talk privately. And so we'll let's talk. Let's talk. And I think I think I can offer some solutions in that in that area. And I love you, brother. And I appreciate that. I think what you just did was manly. Absolutely. You just said was manly. And I have crazy respect for. So let's we'll talk. We'll talk later. Cool. All right, bro. Nice. Good dude. Very good. Let's see. So do men suffer more than women? When they're sick. Are we sure we want to talk about this story? Well, is it suffer? I will say, I will say this. I will say this. I'm. I'm pretty wimpy when I have an illness. It's because you were born with a piece. Yeah. That's how it works. It's in the book. It's in the book. I'm not happy with this article I have because now I don't have any argument anymore. Don't shoot the messenger. Tell me what the deal is. Well, according to the University of Cambridge. It's like a junior college. According to those people.
The University of Cambridge? The University of Cambridge, eh? What have they had to say? Well, they say that men suffer more when sick than women. That's right. Than women. And if they say that's due to... They say men invest in their spirit of adventure. You know, men... Men are more outgoing. They're outdoorsy, you know. And women, of course, calm down, calm down. There's going to be girls that get mad and say, well, I'm outdoorsy. I do more than my husband, whatever. But there's just, according to the University of Cambridge, this is what they're saying. Men compete more. And so because of this, their adrenaline is cranked up. And when they get sick, they suffer more. Their headaches turn into a migraine more than women's do. Their sniffle turns into the flu. Well, can I say this then? To all of the manly men that do that stuff. Wearing cargo shorts. You're more power to you. You really are. Yeah, you're excused. And you really do suffer more than your lady. Now, to all of the rest of us, meaning me. And Woods. You know, naked web surfer guy laying in bed. What a visual. To the rest of us, sloths. I will say this. My wife can have.
one leg chopped off and have two kids hanging on her and she's still getting the job done. It's, it's the women's threshold for pain is my wife went through radiation and chemotherapy. Yeah. Okay. And when the radiation that she went through was like, she said it was the most painful thing ever. They literally like mess something up one day and dude, she was up and at them. I mean, I would have been knocked out for months. Yeah. Months. I recently had a pimple in my nose that had me debilitated in bed in a fetal position. Exactly. Taking Midol. Whining. Yeah, taking Midol. You know what I mean? Whining, crying. Yeah, whining, crying with my little pimple in my nose. And eating some soup. Yeah, I'm like, I just touched it again. That's awful. I know, dude. Well, also, according to the University of Cambridge, they said males tend to be the weaker sex. Absolutely. I was happy to say the school's name in that one. Maybe you guys open your own doors from now on, okay? Yeah. Since you're so strong. Yeah. You can pick up the check every now and then, too. How about that? But what's the deal? I mean, really. We get a cold, then you guys get the cold, and it's like, oh. I am such. Will you bring me some soup? I'm such a Sally when I get sick.
Pepper. Write that down. Write that down. Pepper, you said that when your boyfriend, Matt, is sick, you actually do step up to the plate. Yeah. I become an actual woman. If you could believe it. And you take care of him. I have a heart. I still don't. I still don't believe it. I want to see what it looks like. Snap out of it, clown. You're fine. It's made out of gold with pearl lining. Yeah. You know what she does? She leaves the pan. On the stove with a can in it. Figure it out. Make it yourself. Directions next to the can that say open, pour in pot, heat to a simmer. You know what I mean? That is not true. Is that the deal? Nope. What do you do? I take great care. I'm a caregiver. I'm a nurturer. I am. You make soup? Oh, yeah. Or bowls of wheat. Soup. Can I prop up your feet for you? You do? Maybe I can rub, scratch your hair, rub your back. Question. Yeah. Baby talk, question mark? No, never. Come on, ever? Baby talk? You don't baby talk, Matt? No. I baby talk babies and puppies. Not men. You baby talk? No, I don't. I do. I'll say it. I do too. Who doesn't? I don't. You guys are lying. I'm not lying. I turn on my girlfriend voice, but it's not. What's a girlfriend voice? What's a girlfriend's voice? I want to hear it. What's girlfriend voice?
Hi, babe. Hi, babe. It's pepper with a smile. Yeah, pepper with a smile. Pepper smiling. It sounds like a soda. Yeah. Yeah. It's pepper smiling. It sounds like a pap. Don't you know? It's awesome. 5701949. When you guys are sick, what is the one thing that you really want? Like, is there one go-to thing that you're like, please? You know what? Yeah. What? Quiet. Quiet. I want to be left alone. No, no, no. I think I remember Jamie saying something like she had to go to Benihana to pick up food for you. I wanted fried rice, and she went and got it for me, which was money. You weren't sick, though, were you? Yeah, I was sick. But I wanted, after I got the rice, get. Really? Yeah. I've got to be myself. See, I want gossip magazines for the first time. I want to be alone. I like company. Oh, my God. I hate company when I'm sick. Yeah, I don't really like company. Women are different. I always like company. Women always want company. No, I just said I don't like company. Yeah, she likes to be alone. When you're sick, too, right? When I'm sick, yeah. I require a lot of alone time. Me, too. Listen, there are personality touches. Hey, listen. Before the Mikey show got married, I asked all of you individually.
Have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs personality test? I asked you, didn't I, CNN? No. I didn't ask you about that? Have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs? I don't even know what that is. Really? I got to have you take it. It's awesome. You know why I didn't have you take it? Because remember, you were a last minute thing. Like I found out we could have you last minute. Yeah. I had been asking them, hey. Have you ever heard of the Myers-Briggs? In fact, I was at the Henry's... Oh, I got to tell you. Write this down. A million side stories right now. I got to tell the Henry's story as soon as I'm done telling this story. Because it happened yesterday. Okay. But I texted Woods, have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs test? And he texted back, I think so. Yeah, for like a sales gig years ago. Yep. And I said, what were you? Do you remember? No, but I went and took it again. And he is a extrovert. Weird. Yeah. That has all these really interesting qualities that it tells you. I think it said perfection. Yep. Perfect. Yeah, I think it said perfect person. Scored 100. Oh, yeah. I'm sure. Scored 100 on a subjective test. It's a personality test if you didn't know. Yeah. And Pepper and I were the exact same personality type. Really? INFP?
I think I would be right up there with Woods, maybe. You would probably be exactly the girl version of Woodsy. Yeah, for sure. And Jay did not take it. I do not believe Jay took it. Nope. And it's really interesting. We're out here in the trenches taking grenades. You're doing your own thing. I appreciate it. He was out surfing. Yeah. Walk with me through this. I walked out of Henry's yesterday. First of all, I had to go. You went to Henry's? I had to go number one real bad. I had to go number one real bad. And I left the radio station. I had to go number one really bad. Which is a bad decision anyway. To be leaving and having to. I do it all the time. Because you just want to get home. You just want to get home and you're envisioning your own. You wanted to get your clothes off. You wanted to get nude. Get the laptop going. The whole thing. I can't wait to get home. Get out of these restricted rooms. He needed reading material. He knew there was a good book waiting for him in his throne. So I left. And I had to go all the way from Mission Valley to Escondido to do something for mom and dad. So I went there, but I thought, do I go inside mom and dad's and take care of business? Yes. No, I can make it home. I'll make it home. It's mom and dad's. I know, but I want my own place and I'll be fine. It's not as bad as I think it is. Are we still talking about number one? Yeah. Which isn't even the point of the story. I'm just trying to.
Paint a picture for you. Okay. So I leave. I'm like, do I have time to go grab something for lunch? You're crazy. You are a wild man. Drive through. Drive through. So I do. I drive through. Where'd you go? McDonald's because I was doing Urban Survivor. It's part of Urban Survivor. You'll have to listen for it. Okay. So I leave and I needed these energy drinks for my workout. You are so demanding. I'm very high maintenance. Yes, you are. I'm very high maintenance. Diva. I'm very hard to maintain. You're like Mariah Carey. Yeah, I'm like Mariah Carey. I needed my little energy drink. Or else he can't go. For my workout or my workout will be ruined in my mind. It will not be right. I'll be uncomfortable unless I have my stupid energy drink. I love this story. Very particular kind. Yeah. So I go into Henry's and I have to pee the whole time. I have to. And it's driving me nuts. You're like a little kid holding your hands on your crotch. And I'm already a grump, right? Because of it. Yeah.
So I leave and I'm walking with my little bag of energy drink. In your little hand. In my little tiny hands. Perfect for picking strawberries. The perfect size hands for picking little strawberries and putting them in a basket. Like a little T-Rex. I'm walking out. A little T-Rex with my bag. And your little boots. And my little boots are moving. Let me get back to my car. And there's teenagers in the parking lot. Hudlums. Hudlums. Hudlums. And they're doing monkey business. Really? They do. Monkey business. They're playing around, right? And so it's girls and guys. High school. And the guy has a piece of tangerine that's been cut in half and he throws it at the girl. Oh, gosh. You are so uncomfortable right now. And I'm like, really? Don't hit me. Do I walk in the middle? Do I go around? I just want to get to my car. And so... She takes it and she gives girl throw. Please tell me. Yeah. Right? What does that mean, Mike? And he very easily, as she does girl throw, he very easily goes like this and moves to the side. Moves out of the way. So that it hits me directly in the leg. Shut it. Shut it. No. Tangerine. Tangerine. Yeah, Jean's on. Yeah, on the leg. Yeah, DJ's on, didn't you? I just imagined this. Yeah. Like he's like.
What did you say? And I pulled the woods. I go, with my little bag in my hand. Really? Really? Yes! What, did they apologize? She was. Mortified. She's a teenager. If you're a girl and you hit a stranger with a tangerine, you feel like you're so embarrassed. It's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened. You hit a stranger with a tangerine. Did it leak on you at all? Not really, but what was really funny was her embarrassment because she was mortified and humiliated. She'll be telling this story to her friend in an hour. I said that. I said when I was talking to my wife, I go, I bet she'll be 60 years old and still remember hitting a stranger. A T-Rex. A little T-Rex. I hit a live walking T-Rex. racks in the parking lot. Small target. Thank you. She's got great A's. Hey, you want to do the Incorporator? Anybody here want to do the Incorporator? Woodsy will be incorporating words. We'll be calling someplace in the middle of nowhere, and if you want to call us right now, 570-1949. The idea is extraordinarily common words and phrases. Call us right now. Pepper's picking the music, so that's the cure. We'll be right back. Heard on the Mikey Show now.
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Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper is guaranteed to be 99.99% jam free. Don't you wish traffic was Hammer Mill Paper? No worries. We go to 5 northbound at 28th Street. We have an injury crash with three left lanes blocked. Sigler remains in effect. Four cars and a motorcycle total involved. Slow and go out there. Escondido 15 southbound from Valley Parkway heading out to Center City Parkway. Traffic also brought to you by Mossy Nissan. At Mossy Nissan Oceanside, get a 2008 Nissan Sentra for only $30. Go to mossydeals.com now. VIN number 675-086. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning. Yay. This is being brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate. It's a great way to start the day. Drinking throughout the day makes you stoked and keeps your day going fine. Surf-wise today, looking like we've got some, although it's a bit of a mess out there from a combination of west-northwest groundswell, windswell, and some southwest swell on the fade. That wouldn't be such a problem, but we did have some westerly winds blow throughout the night, so there's kind of a funky bump on all spots right now. It's not blown out, just it's glassy but lumpy and bumpy. Beach break's probably your better bet, although there are some broken-up peaks at the reef breaks, too. Running in that waist-chest-high zone on average shoulder, maybe a few head-high waves at those standout spots.
Across the board, pretty much in that poor-to-fair shape range, though. But it could be worse. So for up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of the South Coast Surf Shops, five locations, or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaki Urba Mate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can back up like nobody's business into spots. What I can't do is parallel park. Woods. I drive fast. I smoke. I'm at the radio on. I'm on my phone. Lauren. I like fried chicken. Zienna. I love cruises. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9. It's a Mikey Show. Live studio audience in here today on Friday for the Incorporated. You can call us at 570-1949. That's our phone number. And if you want to. You can also text messages. Text is 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. I say we get right to it. Let's get this thing going. Let's get this thing going. Get me out of here? Yes, sir. The idea is that our boy Woods used to work in a sales office. He used to make phone calls to sell people on stuff. And to break up the monotony, his friends would come in.
While he was on the phone and they would very quietly, they would just say words. Teletubby. Teletubby. It's a perfect one. Teletubby. He would have to work Teletubby into the conversation flawlessly. And that was the fun of it. Now, Teletubby is a pretty common word or whatever. So it was easy to do. And that's the idea. See, what we want to avoid is coming up with things that are sort of. Uncommon. I mean, you could say, if you wanted to, you could say, you know, bazinga bazoink. But it's not going to be that. You get fined for that. You know what I mean? It's just not going to really work that good. But we got some good ones on the line. And now I'm doing, like, I'm already trying to troubleshoot what I think Woods will be like. Really, dude? He's going to say it always to one of them. No matter what. It's going to happen.
No matter what, every time there's going to be one at least that he's going to say, really, dude? But I think we're going to be OK. Do you need new ones? Because I have one that I know he'll get. It's not a bad word, but he'll get mad about it. What is it? Avatar. I think we could. I think that's common right now. I think that's common right now. Really? He doesn't know anything about it. Well, no, he could just be like, you know, I'm going to go this weekend and watch a little Avatar. Yeah, that's true. It's too easy. That's the thing. That's way too easy, yeah. You have to think of, like, how in the world is he going to talk about a panther? Like, how many instances can you talk about a panther? Right. And that's what I love about it. That's what I love about it. Let's see. M1 Jason. Jason, are you there? I'm here. What is your word? Brussels sprout. Love it. See, Brussels sprout is perfect. Yep. Perfect. M1 bear? What's going on? What's up? I'm thinking unicorn. Unicorn is perfect. I love it, yeah. Unicorn is perfect. M1 Brandon. Yeah, what's going on? Not too much. What's your word? Hey, how about fallopian tubes? Fallopian tubes is perfect. Fallopian tubes. Fallopian tubes is perfect. Okay, think about it. That was M1 Brandon. A light bulb went off in his head, and he's like, I'm going to call, and I'm going to say fallopian tubes. Yes. Hell yeah.
I love it. It's going to work great. Let's see. M1 Scorpio. Not too much. What do you got? Nice. What's your word or phrase? Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. That's my line. I think that works. I think that works just as much as any other. Okay. And we had a couple that were. texted to us. M1Hawk. That's Woods' dad, by the way. It is. Are you kidding me? He is so irritated at his dad. He goes by an alias now. He's now going by an alias? That's fantastic. M1Hawk. Quote, unquote. There were like dozens in there. I just happened to click on that one. M1Hawk texted in photosynthesis. It means he's always watching. It means I'm watching you.
And M1 Yak texted in, don't quit your day job. I love that. I do, too. That's a new Woodsism. It's a very common phrase. Yeah. Hey, pal. Hey, pal. Don't quit your day job. One, two, three, four, five, six. That's six. Let's come up with two more. Two more. Two more. From the studio, what do you got? Tell me what you got. Javelin. All right. Javelin. M1 Bookworm has javelin. I like that one. That is a very common word. Javelin. Woodchip. Woodchip. Doppelganger. What? I don't know if he's going to know. Pogo stick. That's great. That's great. Pogo stick is great. Have we ever had that? Didn't we have that once? Pogo stick? Yeah. I don't think so. I don't remember it. That's eight words. That's really good. Okay, so I'm going to review for you, okay? The words are Brussels sprout, unicorn, fallopian tubes, winner, winner, chicken dinner, javelin, pogo stick, photosynthesis, and don't quit your day job. Love them. Love them. All right. Come on in, buddy. Come on in. He's out there talking to the ladies who are bringing us food. You know he is. The wild nut ladies. Yeah. Talking to the wild nut ladies. You know that. What were you doing, buddy? How's that little combo? What were you doing? Just visiting. Glad handling. Just visiting. Oh, yeah. Making it right. All right, Jay.
Jay, what kind of place are we calling? It's a liquor store. It's a liquor store. We're calling it a liquor store. You'll know exactly what to say. Give me the first one, pal. First one is Brussels sprout. I love this game. He's so nervous he has to turn around. That's why we have to switch mics because he can't look at us. Just concentration. They can hear Woods. They cannot hear me giving him the words. Hey, nothing happened, Jay. Jay's like, I have to even dial for you. Yes. He does. He does. He does. In a little while, I'm going to call him in here and ask him to yawn for me. Can you burp me? Did you hit the line? I did. There you go. There you go. That's the sound I needed to hear. I'm nervous. Why? I don't know. I had a lot of coffee. Got jacked up, he gets. They can hear Woods. They can't hear me. Brussels sprouts. Brussels sprouts.
If you'd like to make a call. Really? Really? Is this place in business? The Tom Tom lady? Now I'm getting nervous. Third time's a charm. It's the first time this has happened. I knew that one because he gets in a place where he's in his own. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm going to shut it down. By the way, M1. We're in a happy place. M1 what? M1 and UFC fighter Joey Beltran in the studio today, and we will be talking to him in just a bit. He's got a fight coming up in Canada soon. Whoa. If you'd like to make a call, please hang up. Oh, my God. This is the worst thing I've ever heard. Now I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. Do you have the right number? Now I'm freaking out. What? Let's just call 411. Now I'm freaking out. You're okay. You've done this many a times. Breathe in. Breathe out. Yeah, you've got to make it right. You've got to go. I know. It ain't working.
We'll figure it out. Oh, my God. Really? We'll figure it out. Just take it easy. Jay's got it under control. Everything is okay, baby. What a vomit. He's going to figure it out. Is he? Yeah. He's going to go fix it right now. Is he? Listen, I can play the flute while we wait. That's just as good. That's just as good. Neil Diamond is an excellent flautist. You want to hear Neil play the flute? Yes. What song? You tell me. I'll tell you. How about Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z? Not even close. Sounds like Hot Cross Binds. I'll play one. You tell me what it is. Yeah. Okay. It's got it. So easy. Woods. Sex on Fire. Kings of Leon. Wrong. Plebeian. Black Eyed Peas. What's that? Hump song. I don't know. Lady Hump. Oh, you guys. You really don't know? No. It's Madonna like a virgin. Yes, it was. Come on. Every time, Sienna. Come on. Want me to sing you a song? Yes. Let Uncle Neil clean out the pipes. Matt. I'm going to sing you a song about my boy Woods. All right? He's going to surf today. Oh, yes, he is. Nervous about that, too. Yeah, me too. I'm going to sing you a song about Woods surfing. Fell on the rocks. Oh, no. Great.
Goofy white guy. He's trying to surf with some chubby guy thighs. Wow. Hurts. Kid's gonna lose because he thinks he's a dude. Wow. In his prime. That's where it gets good. He's pasty white. Yes, he is. Little supersized. Kid may not surf. But he is moisturized. Yes! The kid doesn't like to be told what to do. No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. Gets good here. Oh, yes. But first he tries to pursue things that only the girls do. And he's hanging with the Asian ladies. It's mani-pedi time. Yes! He loves them.
And when he tries to show you how he has waxed the wee-hoo, all the hairspray he can spray, I hate to be the one to say, kid looks good in a song. How would you know? You look at his feet, you see some fancy shoes. After he serves... You're going to see a big bruise. The kid may think he's cool. You laugh when he falls. On the rocks. Get out of here. That was awesome. Give me a break. Are you ready to do the Incorporated? For goodness sake. Let's try again. I almost want to walk out and come back in. You ready for this, kid? You feeling it? I feel it. Brussels sprouts. It's quite hot.
I'm going to throw up my hands. If you'd like. I just called it. Jay, I've never seen him so mad. Do you need to do the area code from here? Let's take a break. When we come back. When we come back. Yeah, what about the area code? What the hell is going on? I don't know. This is comedy. So sorry. For the Lord of the Rings fans out there. Yeah, yeah. And while we have you wait, you're not, like, freaked out or anything, are you? What? Are you doing okay? He's like, I'm going to get thrown on the rocks. Zeppelin. Make some noise to the live studio audience in here. Incorporators next. This is it. Thank you.
Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, tomorrow night you can see Air at 4th and B. That show is 20 on and off. Cheap Trick are playing... At the Belly Up, April 14th. No way. April 15th, there's a couple good shows. You can see The Big Pink with A Place to Bury Strangers at the Casbah or Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros at the Belly Up. See us playing House of Blues Monday, April 19th. You can go get your big Sonic chill on and a couple big shows just announced. Transfer will play The Belly Up on Thursday, April 29th. Tickets for that show on sale now. And Green Day, play Cricket Wireless September 2nd with AFI. Tickets for that show on sale this coming Friday, April 2nd at noon. So there you have it. Get out there and say zap zap. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com.
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Maximum strength cream. Preparation H maximum strength cream for burning itching plus pain relief on contact. It's the most complete relief from Preparation H. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Make some noise. Live studio audience in the studio. It's a Mikey Show. If you are an M1, you are a Mikey Show listener. You are part of the M1 Nation. It means when you call the Mikey Show. You turn your radio down, you get to the point, you don't cuss. And my hope is that when we call this place right now, the guy isn't going to chew our heads off because we're going to do the incorporator. We were trying it on these lines in here even during the break and the same thing was happening. And then we tried it on another line and it works perfectly. So we got to, every time we're dialing long distance, it has to be out of there. So Woods has to try to incorporate these words.
hear woods, can't hear me. First word, Brussels sprouts. If you'd like to make help, hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up. I've never seen Jay so much. So you know. Quick pick, Lickers. Hey, man, my name's Steve. I had a few questions for you. I'm throwing like this big, badass California-style gangster party, man, and I need some help. That sounds fun. What can I do for you, bud? Dude, I was in Germany last year, and I had this vodka, and it was flavored. It tasted like Brussels sprouts almost. I don't know what it was called. I think it was like Wolfgang or something like that, and it was like Brussels sprout-flavored vodka. Vodkas are made from grains and potatoes and stuff like this. I mean, it is possible that they maybe tried a vodka that was fermented, and they used Brussels sprouts.
It had a unicorn on the front of it, if that helps. Do you guys have that there in your store? It doesn't sound familiar to me, sir. No, I don't believe that we do. I mean, we do carry a lot of vodkas, but none that fit that description. Okay. Yeah, we, you know, I went out, my wife had gotten her fallopian tubes tied, and we went over to Germany as a vacation after she recovered, and we just fell in love with this vodka. Winner, winner, dinner. So, yeah, if you don't have it, dude, that's no problem. We're going to get all kinds of stuff, man. We're having, it's like a barbecue, but it's going to be real, you know, it's California style. So it's going to be real gangster, man. And, you know, it'll be winner, winner, chicken dinner for everybody, dude. It's going to be a good time. Traveling. Well, I need a bunch of stuff, man. I need kegs. You have those long cigarettes. They're actually brown. They're called moors. They look like a javelin. You have those? I've got something longer than a cigarette.
Little cigars. Oh, yeah, those might work. Those might work. Okay. Okay, well, so I'm going to need a couple of kegs. I'm going to need a couple of cases of vodka. It's going to be nuts, dude. I've got clowns running around. They're going to be jumping on pogo sticks. It's going to be quite a bash, so I want to make sure we're full of liquor there, man. Photosynthesis. Well, as far as the kegs, how many people do you plan on coming at you? I don't want you to purchase unnecessary amounts of beer and alcohol. Just make sure you have. And now it's not, you know, too much so you don't waste it. There's going to be probably, I'd say probably between 35 and 40 people there. And my wife's a teacher. So, you know, there's not going to be, she's got some of her friends, you know, they're like biology teachers. They're going to be wanting to talk about photosynthesis. I'm going to be ready to party. So I don't know how much liquor we need. They're going to be like teachers. So I don't know how crazy it's going to be. 40 people, even 50 people, you know, you can get by with one full keg. You'd be fine with that. And I'd be more than happy to supply that for you. Do you do, like, taps and do you do the tap and, like, the shell and the ice and all that? Absolutely. Yeah, we can do it. As far as the other stuff, you know, we do that, you know, the name brand, vodkas and gins and rums and, you know, whatever it is that you need. Well, what about you, dude? Do you want to come? It's going to be a blowout. You know, that sounds like it's going to be a really fun party.
Here's the thing. I need a singer. Sing me a quick song, man. Sing me like three verses of a song, like Sweet Caroline. Do you know that song? Yeah, but people pay me not to sing. Yeah, don't quit your day job, right? I know, exactly. Well, dude, I think what I'll do is I'll come in and I'll bring the credit card and we'll make it right. Okay. All right, brother. I'll see you soon. Okay. Okay. All right. Later. You need a nap? Oh, man. You need a nap now. That was draining. That was emotionally draining. I'm a mess right now. I gave him the last one, and I was like, that's it, last one. And you can see it on his face like, thank you. Thank you. How many was that? Eight. Oh, was that eight? Was it really? No, I think we only got to six. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Really? Did I do javelin and pogo stick? Yeah, I did them all.
Wow. It went by fast. Guess who was photosynthesis? Who? M1 Hawk, a.k.a. Gary Woods. Thanks, Dad. I appreciate it. Is he really M1 Hawk? Yeah. That's the greatest thing I've ever heard. It's the greatest thing I've ever heard. He's always watching. That's what I said. We called him Hawk. My brother and I found this t-shirt of his. It was a softball jersey, and on the back was his number, and it said Hawk. And so from then forward, it was easy, Hawk. Like everything he said. And my brother will do that. When we see him coming. That's awesome. Genius. Good job, Woodsy. Thanks, brother. Big round of applause for our boy Woods. Dang, that was a tough one, man. These are getting harder and harder. I know it. I know it. Would you like to do a little Sienna Sings? Oh, yeah. Hold on. Now I'm up. Now we got more technical deals. Oh, we do? Yeah, you know that. Woods forgot to bring the cord for his laptop today. Charger. No, you take your time, dude. It's rain red. You're not ready? I got to get pumped up. You're not ready? Oh, great. My computer was totally shut down. Sign in on mine. Here's the idea. Sienna's going to look at some karaoke stuff on her screen. And she's never, she either has or hasn't heard these songs. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Most of the time. Oh, my God. It's never taken this long to boot up.
You know your computers can sense stress. I know. Calm down. Yeah. Why are we doing it on his when he's the one that doesn't have a charger? I know. Brilliant. I have no idea. His brains behind this operation. This is brilliant. La, la, la, la, la. Plebeians. Plebeians. Yeah, it's a wonderful bit we have. Sienna do the songs, plebeians. So why don't we have six people call? Why don't we have six? Why don't we have 12 people call? Actually have... Let's see if we can get 47 people on the line. Yeah, let's get 48. Buy me a little time. It's easy to call out of state, so obviously it'll be easy to get 48 people on the line. Artisans, farmers, commoners. You just want to call and guess if I'll know it or if I won't. Yeah, you guess if she'll know it or if she won't, and you'll win a CD six-pack. It's going to be real good. Who's coming in to bring the food today? Wild Note Cafe. Nice. Yes, I believe they're setting up outside. Do you need my volume up on this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's working good. I can hear it already. Can you? Go ahead. I just heard the little bleep. Okay. How about that? Are we switching mics again? Yeah. Yeah, but this is the first song, so I'm going to need to stay close to you, little angel. Okay, stay close. And if that thing pops up, just hit allow. You do it. I'll do it. I'll be Jay. I'll be Jay. Now I know what Jay has to go through. I'll be working my vocal magic. Now, Sienna. You won't need that.
Sienna can actually sing. Sienna sings really good. I'm all right. The deal is, is that we found out that she doesn't really know a lot of songs that a lot of people know. So the fun of it is to find out whether or not she knows it. And she'll tell us. And sometimes she'll try to sell us like she knows it. Right. She's good at that. She's good. I am? Yeah, you've been getting good. Oh, see, I feel like I'm the worst. No, I don't know it. Are we ready? Yeah. Hang on. Let's get a couple people online. What song are we going to do? This is called Living on a Prayer. Living on a Prayer. Oh, she knows it. M1 Jessie, what do you say? I say no. You say she will not know it. I say she will not know it. Hang on the line. M1 Harold? Oh, she's going to know this one. Okay. All right, hang on the line. Anytime. Here we go. It's working out real good. Go ahead and play. I did. I did. Bumblebee, bumblebee. Let's see if she knows it. I like to stand right here next to her and just... Sometimes it, you know. What? He's looking right in her face. He's a centimeter away from me. He's doing stripper pull to you. How is it possible? She knows it. I think so, too. There's no way she knows it. Stop, you guys. Once upon, not so long ago. I used to work on the docks. Damn it. Union's been on strike. He's down on his luck. It's tough. So tough. Nailed it. She knows it. Nailed it.
Nailed it. Wow. Because the first words come up and I didn't know that beginning thing. And I was like, what is that? It's more like once upon a time. Not so long ago. Harold. I'm going to do New Jersey. Harold, you're a winner. You're a winner. No, no, no, no, no. Harold said no. Harold got it right. Oopsie. We are falling apart. M1 Andrew. Yeah, Mike. We're about to tell you what the next song is. What is it, Woodsy? Summer of 69. Brian Adams. Wow. M1 Andrew, will she know it or not? She's got to know it, Mike. All right. Hang on a line. M1 Chrissy, you say she will not know it. I would say she will not know it. All right. Hang on a line. What are these hair bands? No. Oh. Just the fact that you wanted to know whether or not Summer of 69 was a hair band or not. But she's got a poker face. No! Woods is never going to be in charge of the computer again. Kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me. Woods has had a really straining day. I'm looking behind you at the people sitting in the studio audience. And they are dying laughing at the stress that you're going through right now. He freaks out. When he comes in on Monday, his hair is going to be completely white. It's going to be white. Now, I have a whole new appreciation for Jay. It's okay. Whole new appreciation. It's okay. You ready? Yeah, we're ready.
I got my first real six string. Fought it at the five and die. No way. Played it till my fingers bled. It was the summer of 69. She knew it. Unbelievable. Are you kidding me? All right, this is two for two. She was three for three last week. And then I was zero for three the week before. M1 Andrew, you win. She knew it. That's what I'm talking about, Mike. You win. There you go. What's the next song? Hold on. Poor Woods. Guy's losing his mind. Hey, the Incorporator didn't stress you out, did it? Are you kidding? Are you kidding? We got a dude you're dumb later or what? Yeah. Let's get every bit. Do all my bits today? Then we're going to surprise you with ex-girlfriends that you cheated on. We're just going to march them into the studio. I'm so glad I get to talk to you after all these years. I don't know if the studio is big enough. Okay, we're ready. Wow. Jeez, Woods. Tell me what the song is. Tell me what the song is. It's called Back in Black. Back in Black. Okay. M1 Bruce. Will she know it? I think the clown's going to know this one. You think she's going to know it? The clown? The clown's going to know it. Explain so people don't think that was mean. Bird, mouse, or clown. Yes. Apparently all women look like a bird, a mouse, or a clown. That's right. And we all determined that Sienna knew.
Bird, mouse, or cloud, we said. It's fantastic. Hang on the line, Bruce, okay? Hang on the line. All right, we need somebody that believes that she will know it. Uh-oh, no one's calling. No. No, I think that we... Thanks for the love. I think in the last 10 minutes, we cleared out the entire audience. Right now, yeah, right now, they're sending a hot air balloon up for Jeff and Jer. They're like, please, someone who knows how to work phone lines. Please, we're begging you. 570-1949. We need somebody that believes that Sienna will know it. M1 Mary, that's you. Hang on the line, all right? Okay. All right, hang on. You ready? Yep. Anytime. Here we go. Here we go. Here's a 10-measure introduction. Yes, I'm let loose from the noose. That's kept me wrong. Hey, get back. I keep looking. Oh, my God. Look at my ears. I got nine lives. Cat's eyes. Abusing. Because I'm back. It started going so fast. That was great. I couldn't keep up with the highlights. So she knew it then. She did not know that at all. I was dancing to everything. Bruce, you win. Sorry for calling Mary. I'm sorry. I'm never going to call again. Thank you, Bruce. Hang in line. You are a winner. Two out of three ain't bad. That ain't bad. Not bad. Five for her last six.
By the way, congrats to M1 Sanjaya and Rachel. Going to be having a baby today. Congratulations. M1 Susie texted and said, Mikey, USS Nimitz Strike Group coming home today from an eight-month deployment. Very nice. Very nice. I know just what we need. We need to hear a child singing woods on sports. Woods. Woods, woods, woods. Dude, that makes my day. That should be your ringtone, dude. Seriously, that makes my day. That should be your new ringtone. That is so awesome. That is so cute. Let's see. All right, let's run through some stuff that we have. Sarah Palin getting a new show on TLC. You know it. Nice. What's it going to be? It is going to be her and her life in Alaska. It's just been confirmed that it's going to be on TLC.
There's no air date set yet, but the video cameras are going to start this summer following her around, and it's going to be called Sarah Palin's Alaska. If she were the candidate, if it came down to her as the Republican candidate and somebody else, I wouldn't vote. Good for you. Because I'm not voting for Palin. I think I'm going to watch the show. I'm a conservative Republican. I wouldn't do it. You're going to watch it? I think so. I'll watch the first one, see what it's like. It says the series tells stories of some of Alaska's unique features as seen through the eyes of the former governor. Give me an example. Oh, you know, there's just, we like to follow around some moose and, oh, you know, those sort of pokey tails that we tail. What are pokey tails? Oh, no, hokey tails. Oh, hokey tails. Hokey tails. What are hokey tails? Oh, you know. No, I don't. That's why I asked you. I don't know. That's why I asked you. We go stargazing. What about hockey? Will there be any hockey? No, no hockey. Why not? We've played that one out. And we just will be looking for Russia through the telescope. Things to shoot. Sorry. Things to shoot. You shoot. You shoot a gun. Speedballs.
No, I don't shoot anything. I thought you did. I thought you were really into gun stuff. Oh, I thought you meant the drugs. No, I didn't mean the drugs. I read every newspaper. Yeah, she's sounding like she doesn't. That's great. Sarah Palin. Do you know who Mark Burnett is? Yeah, he's a producer. Yeah, the same guy that produces Survivor is doing the show. Really? So it may be pretty good. He's a good producer. Oh, it's going to be a blast. He makes great shows. It's going to be just super duper. Yeah, thanks. Thanks. Don't you know. Don't you know. We're getting requests. We're getting requests for Pepper and the Kid. Oh, gosh. Eventually, that'll become a thing. Pepper and the Kid? What? The name Pepper? That's already a thing. Yeah, that's already there. It's a thing. We've already established that. Pepper and the Kid. We're going to be talking to Joey Beltran in just a minute. Joey's going to be fighting in UFC. Which one? UFC what? 113. I was thinking about going a couple rounds on the air with him. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. If he thinks he can hang, I'd be... Yeah, over and under on that, I'd say 10 seconds. 10? Probably 3. And I'll take the under. The morning he's been having, Woods, it's not going to last long. No. We're going to ask him about all that coming up here in a minute. By the way, if you want to join the fan page for The Mikey Show, go to Facebook.com and you just type in...
The Mikey Show. We're the one with 7,000 members. While you're there, look at the picture of Woods as Mad Hatter. Yeah. Brilliant. And one animator made it. It's unbelievable. It's hysterical. Yeah, it's hysterical. It's hysterical. It's very creepy. But it will be going in my office. It's so scary. It's pretty awesome. The Mikey Show is myself, Woodsy, Pepper O'Brien, Sienna, and... Who also burst a blood vessel in his head earlier. Yep, they call me the dialer. That's right. Mike, I forgot to mention me as someone on the show. Lauren. That's right, Lauren. Deal with the power and the story, but I guess they're starting to cite power lines as a possible problem with the Toyotas. Well, it sounds to me like they're just looking for... A reason? A reason to blame something. But they're saying, yeah, in like 30 some odd instances, there were power lines nearby. They were in places. Invisible fields. So is grass, dirt, asphalt.
I can name a bunch of things that might have been around at the time. There were street signs everywhere. I didn't know what I was going to do. Yes, and 39 of the Toyota incidents, they were right near the heaviest parts of the U.S. electrical grid, which is, you know, the big power lines that can generate powerful fields of energy. They had other cars around, too. Yeah, cars. Can you believe it? Cars may be a cause. So there's people that have been looking into this, and they're saying that these invisible fields are caused by current flowing through the wire, and electrical voltage on the wire creates different kinds of... This is an excuse. How long have the power lines been there? Maybe they should have worked the cars around that. But it's like, why isn't it happening to other people then? Right? That's a brilliant question. Why isn't it happening to other people? Is it happening with all of their hybrid cars? I don't know. I don't know. Well, Toyota said that there's nothing wrong with the electronics in their cars. It doesn't say anything about a Prius. The Camry. The Camry's not. The Camry is correct. Hybrid, yeah. Camry's working good. Camry's great. I have a Camry. It's great. I have several Volkswagens. That's what I thought. I figured that you would drive mostly German. But I buy Toyota. Violent Femmes today. Our girl Pepper O'Brien is picking the music. Big round of applause here from our live studio audience. Quick time out. And when we come back, I want to talk to Joey Beltran about fighting in UFC 113.
Also going to tell you about how your next Facebook friend that you add could very well be an undercover agent. I'll tell you why and how. What's coming out at the movies this weekend. And a lot more. Don't go in. Oh, and I also don't want to throw anybody under the bus, but somebody on the show does not want their significant other to be on Facebook. And I'm not going to tell you their names, but her initials are Sienna Farrar. on FM 94.9. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria.
Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What did you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinate it for 24 hours and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour. spicy all at the same time hey brian from the nervous records what are you doing here hanging out with mark and caesar hey tim piles we're just eating some food really are you sure you're not cutting a commercial no man we're just having a conversation really yeah are we supposed to be cutting a commercial i'm a musician i don't endorse things oh this is awkward mama testa taqueria richmond and university in hillcrest maybe i should write a jingle Do you remember when you used Dial-Up to access the Internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed, and now you're doing more and more on the Internet. Facebook and Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with Dial-Up. And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than Dial-Up? Here's the deal. If you want super fast Internet without all the lag you get with DSL, switch to Earthlink from Time Warner Cable.
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If I can beat Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. What have I done? Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Advil PM. Spend less time lying awake with annoying aches and pains and more time asleep with Advil PM. Encinitas 5 northbound at Manchester Avenue. We have a crash there with two cars involved blocking the roadway. Ted Williams Parkway ramp to 15. That's where we have a stalled out vehicle blocking the third lane from the left. 5 southbound Imperial Avenue. New crash going on there but clearing off to the shoulder. Traffic also brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper is guaranteed to be 99.99% jam free. Don't you wish traffic was Hammer Mill Paper? No worries. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. Now, more of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Mikey Show is myself, Woods, our girl Pepper O'Brien, Sienna, and Jay. Here's what a lot of people don't know. Is that Lauren, a.k.a. Pepper. Or Pepper, a.k.a. Lauren. Right. She, before taking this job.
was doing stand-up, but she was also working at the Belly Up, right? The Wild Note Cafe, part of the Belly Up. That's right. It's a restaurant that's part of the Belly Up, and that's who brought the food in today, and it's really good. My belly's up. Really good. Yeah, yeah. What did you guys bring? We brought a seared ahi slider and a jalapeno turkey burger slider. With gourmet potato chips. Really good. I've missed these. Oh, I've missed these. Yeah, and you guys make all the food fresh, right? Every day. That is cool. That's cool. Whose recipes? Who came up with this stuff? Our chef's name is Izzy Balderas, and he's Mexican, so he kind of fuses the Pacific Coastal cuisine with his Mexican roots. Nice. And does an amazing job with it. I love it. They were actually out in the parking lot finishing cooking these things so that they could be prepared fresh for us. Are you serious? Yeah, we got a guy down there right now. That's awesome. That is so cool. So do you guys miss Pepper?
We do. Every day. Yes, actually. But we listen in, so we hear her and we kind of pay attention and keep up with what her and Matt are doing. We probably know more now than they did when I worked there. That's right. Yeah, I think we do because she'd be busy waiting tables, so now we actually get to hear the bits and pieces of her personal life. How long did it take you guys to break down the wall? Yeah, that's a good question. You know, it's taken us a while to break this wall. A couple of days. A couple of days. We were instant. Do you guys have any good Lauren stories? Please. Please. Anything? No. I went and saw one of her shows one time, and it was really, really a good time. She was kind of like a naughty librarian or something. Really? So she looked pretty hot. Really? You used to do a naughty librarian bit? It was with my comedy troupe. It wasn't one. You know, you guys are thinking. Really? Well, it was. It was what we're thinking. I think it was actually exactly what we're thinking. Wait, what are you thinking? Girls got to pay the bills. Amen, brother. Do you have any embarrassing stories about when she worked at the Belly Up or no? They're always busy doing their thing. They've got a lot of work on their plate. Really? I was down in the trenches serving up deliciousness. I love it. She just always greeted us with a smile on her face.
That's what she does here. It was a good little break time to get down there. She has ever go Irish Cyclone on you? Never. I've heard about it. Really? She's done it like 70 times since she's been here. You haven't seen Mount St. Lauren? No, just sunny California Lauren. Yeah, all you have to do is get her lost downtown with no money for the meter and she'll blow up your phone real good. She'll blow you up real good. I was telling my wife about it yesterday morning. I go, yeah, she goes. She finally got me on the phone after she couldn't find us, and she goes, I'll see you guys tomorrow morning. You did not. Yeah, she did. It was a bit. It was a bit. It was a bit. I thought it was on speaker. It was awesome. Well, listen, the Wild Note Cafe, it's really good food. Good food. I love it. And you guys have some really cool stuff on the menu. Yeah, one of our signatures are the lobster dumplings and the port wine sauce. People absolutely love them. What did you sell a lot of, Lauren? The lobster dumplings were definitely the number one. People went gaga over that. I love the dumplings. Do you like that? Do you get them all the time? So good. Chef Izzy would say, yeah, I can give you the recipe, but I'd have to kill you. Chef Izzy is a friend of mine. I have the recipe. Chef Izzy is a friend of mine. He's a dear, dear friend.
port wine sauce on there? Do you put the port wine sauce? Of course. It's good, right? I mix mine with a little Riesling. German Riesling. You do? It makes the Gewürztraminer delicious. What is that? It's German wine. Where you been? You have the what on there? Gewürztraminer. You like to pair the two, then, is what you're saying. Amazing. It tastes really good when you... It tastes great. It tastes great. You know that. Wild Note is actually renowned for having one of the best wine lists in San Diego. Is that right? Yeah. Very extensive. Well, then you will absolutely love that, Wolfgang. Come in and have a Riesling. You got to get down there. Of course. See you this evening. Thank you, Wild Note Cafe. That's really good stuff. Thank you guys for coming in. Thank you very much. Hope you enjoyed it. Thank you. If anyone doesn't know where the Wild Note Cafe is, maybe we can give it. Belly up. Yeah. It's at the Belly Up, which is in Solana Beach. Yes, on Cedros. Yeah. It's good stuff. If you don't know where the Belly Up is, what's the matter with you? Come on. Yeah, exactly. San Diego. The Belly Up is one of the coolest places, if not the coolest place to see a show. So cool. Amen. And great food. I want to get Joey Beltran over. Joey, let me get you over to a microphone over here. Thanks, guys. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Bye. Let me tell you. Joey is a Mikey Show listener. He's an M1.
This dude, man. First of all, I want to get the stats on you. So how tall are you, Joey? Six feet. Six feet tall. How much do you weigh? How much do you weigh? Right now? Yeah. I don't know. 255? 255. I'm a little heavy. I'm a little heavy. So you're fighting in the heavyweight division. Yes. And you're fighting in the UFC. And what is your record? My record right now is 11-3. 11-3. Okay, so your first UFC fight is going to be UFC 113. No, actually, my first one was at UFC 109, which was in Mandalay Bay. I mean, your next one. My next one. Your next one is 113. Yeah. But your first one was 109 at Mandalay Bay, and you won. Yes. Who'd you beat? I beat Hollis Gracie. Really? Yeah. From the Gracie line? Yes. Really? Yeah, so everybody made a big deal about it, but I don't know. It wasn't that great. It wasn't even that big a deal to you? It was a big deal. Yeah, I mean, I think that's pretty good. It was a big deal to win my first fight in the UFC, but I mean.
I don't know. The guy just really didn't want to fight. He wanted to get me on the ground and wrestle, but he didn't really want to fight. Really? Yeah. Now, so what's your game? What's the best part of your game? Just the pace that I push for a heavyweight. You know, I'm just keep coming and keep coming and keep coming is definitely, you know, my biggest asset. My background was in wrestling, wrestling junior high and high school. Didn't go to college. Do you like to stand up with guys? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know. I knocked a lot of people out before I ever got paid to fight. Let's just put it that way. But how's your ground game? Are you a ground and pound guy? Yeah, I mean, I recently got promoted, got my blue belt in jiu-jitsu. I'm constantly working on that to step my game up and always looking to get better on the ground. But definitely, I mean, people like to see...
People that like MMA generally, American fans, like to see people get knocked out. So I try to give the people what they want. Right. And so the last fight, the last fight was Gracie? Yes. Knockout? TKO, yeah. I got ground and found. What round? Second. Man, and dude, that's got to feel good, man. Oh, yeah. I mean, when you get your first victory in the UFC, that's pretty cool. You know, I mean, to be honest, it was kind of almost depressing. Only in the sense that you put in all this time and you put in all these years of hard work. And then when you get there, you kind of have this illusion that there's going to be some magical occurrence when you fight in the UFC. And really all it is is just a fight in a cage with another guy. And at the end of the day, that's all it is. But, I mean, the thing that really made me happy is at the end, people coming up to my mom from our neighborhood and people that used to work with her and really telling her, like, making her feel proud that she can say, that's my son. Yeah. Joey Beltran's in the studio, and he's going to be fighting at UFC 113. Mikey Show listener. So talk to me about this weekend. What do you see happening this weekend, UFC 111 this weekend, George St. Pierre, and Dan Hardy? What do you see? I really like Dan Hardy. I like his personality and his bravado, but I just think GSP's going to run through him. Yeah.
He's hard to beat right now, man. I mean, GSP is like at the top of his game. Yeah, he's definitely one of those people that's one of those special fighters that comes along every now and then. Now, who do you see if you keep winning and keep winning and keep winning? Who is the current heavyweight champ in the UFC? It's Brock Lesnar, but he's sick right now. He had some crazy intestinal infection. They almost had to remove. Like his whole colon and everything. Really? So, dude. Yeah. No, it was serious. So, he's been on a leave of absence. Right now, they're actually having an interim heavyweight title fight, which is going to be Frank Mir and Shane Carwin, which is also on the upcoming card this Saturday. Now, who are you fighting? Who am I fighting? Yeah. His name is Chad Corvin. Now, do you have to get to a point where you just can't stand somebody, even if you don't know them? I mean, where do you go mentally to be able to get in there and do what you got to do? You know what? I used to do that. I used to whip myself into an emotional frenzy. But I would do stupid stuff, and I would fight on emotion. If it got to the point where I couldn't beat them, then I would just get in that zone like, oh, I wouldn't think. I wouldn't think. That would be so hard to control. Yeah, for sure. So actually, the last two fights, actually.
It'll be the first time I walk in there totally nonchalant. It's just my job. It's what I get paid to do. It's worked out really well for me. I've been able to think clearly and just perform. Right. Yeah. Well, talk to me about how you eat. How do you have to eat right now to work your way up to this thing? Oh, wow. Because it's a long ways off, right? I hope my coaches aren't listening. I know. I just had a couple turkeys. No, I mean, I do attempt to keep a strict diet, but, you know, I definitely cheat a meal here and there. But me being a heavyweight, I can get away with that. Like, I don't have to make a certain weight. As a matter of fact, I'm kind of a small heavyweight. So I was actually trying to gain weight for this fight. Yeah. Because the guy I'm fighting, he's like 6'5", 260 or 255, something like that. You're fighting a dude 6'5", you're 6 feet tall. Yeah. When you get into the octagon and they are going through the announcements, all right, and they're saying who you are, where you're from, they're going through all that thing. What's going on inside your head? Oh, I'm thinking it's game time, baby. Let's do it. You know, I'm just really, you know, if I've trained.
And I've trained the way I'm supposed to train. And, you know, I'm prepared. I have supreme confidence at that moment. And if I'm confident in the game plan where me and my coaches are in terms of synergy, then it's fun. Are you more jacked up on the entrance into the arena or in those moments where they're introducing you inside the octagon? Definitely the entrance. It's fun. It's a lot funner. That's like, that's all the extra stuff. You know, the interviews, the lights, the people, the crowd, all the extra stuff is what makes it fun. And that's the stuff that you live for those moments. Yeah, yeah, for sure. That's the stuff that, and now, when you knock the guy out and it's all over, is it kind of like this, oh man, now it's all done. Yeah, definitely. And a lot of, I think a lot of fighters will agree. Like you definitely come through, you go through a sort of, I don't want to compare it to, you know, combat in Iraq or anything like that. But it's kind of like post-traumatic stress syndrome. Like you come, you have such an emotional buildup. You're working so hard for three months for just one minute. Literally sometimes one minute of action and then it's over and it's done. And you're like sitting there like, well, what do I do now? What do you do?
Yeah, what do you do to just kind of settle down? I don't know. I usually like to obviously go out and hang out with friends. Manny Petty? Manny Petty. Yeah, you know, a little this and that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mikey, I played in a co-ed women's, co-ed flag football league. You're tough. When I used to get out of the, I listened to Metallica the whole way there. And just get myself in the zone, dude. And we actually did win the championship. But, yeah, it's no big deal. I threw 15 touchdown passes, no interceptions. But we won. How did you come down from that kind of issue? Dude, I mean, it was literally days. Do you listen to anything to pump you up for a fight? What do you listen to? I like electronic music, like trans, house music, stuff like that. And gets you going. Yeah, just like. It's good to warm up to. Metallica was my bit when I'd go out and sling touchdowns. Joey, you mentioned your mom. Now, I want to know your mom and do you have a girlfriend or a wife? Yeah. I would think that they would be more stressed out for a fight than you. Like, do they freak out? Yeah, my mom. It's funny.
to add more stress to the whole UFC debut thing. My mom had not been to any of my previous fights. And then on my first UFC fight, she decides that's when she wants to come out and watch. Well, of course. She's got to be supportive. No, yeah. I mean, it was cool. But, yeah, that added a little bit of pressure. Hey, by the way, can people call and ask you questions? Definitely. Yeah, yeah. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. If you want to ask Joey a question, he's going to be fighting. First of all, local guy. Loves the Mikey show. He's going to be fighting at UFC 113. I love this guy, man. Big supporter of yours. I want to see you do really, really well, man. I'm real excited for you. This fight is taking place when? It's May 8th in Montreal, Canada. UFC 113. The main event is actually a really anticipated rematch between Shogun and Lyoto Machida. Dude! Are you serious? That's a huge card. Yeah. Lyoto Machida. Dude, that was a great fight. So I can't wait to see. And I kind of thought that there was a little train robbery there. A little bit. I want to see that fight again. I want to see him go at it again. We're going to your house. Yeah, dude. We're watching that. I want to watch this dude fight. Oh, dude. I want to see it. It is the coolest thing. I mean, I've said this before. I took my dad. I saved up a bunch of dough, man. And I took my dad.
to see Oscar De La Hoya fight at the MGM. My dad's a big boxing fan, so I took him to see that. Seats weren't that great, but when they come in there, energy, there's a real thing that happens. It is nothing, nothing compared to a UFC event. In terms of energy, when those UFC deals are going on, when the lights go out, and you hear that, Zufa Productions music come on and Joe Rogan is standing there and Goldberg is standing there. The lights come on and that audience flips out. The hair on your arm stands up like you're looking around and you're like, this is a trip like it. And the energy level is a billion times higher than when you're doing something, you know, when you're at even those big prize fights, man. I mean, the energy level is just sick. So, I mean, for you, I imagine it's even more just to be that jacked up and going, man, this is going to be awesome. You know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. I mean, we were actually the first fight. So there was maybe only about like 3,000 people in the arena because we were the first fight of the night. So definitely this one will probably be about, I think we'll be the fourth one on the card, third or fourth one on the card. So there'll be at least quite a few people in the seats, especially because UFC only goes to Canada.
twice a year three times a year so those fans are going to be jacked and it's going to it's going to be awesome and i can't wait i can't wait man m1 ponce are you there what's up guys hey what's up hey uh joey congratulations on all the success man i used to actually get thrown around by joey in junior high and high school in wrestling really yeah hey joey it's tony isom man how's it going hey what's up isom so uh hey man Recently caught on to your fighting and just wanted to say congratulations on all the success, man. You deserve it. Great guy. He deserves everything. You got the hardest working guy I've ever met. Thanks, brother. Tony, do you remember getting schooled by this guy in wrestling? I was three years younger than Joey and all his friends. Really? And I was that 12-year-old desperately trying to hang out with the high schoolers. Yeah. And paid for it. Oh, we weren't that bad. No, that's awesome. Awesome to hear from you, man. Tell your mom and say hello and your sister. That's great. I will, man. Have a good one. That's cool. M1 Bobby. Hey, how you doing? Good, man. Hey, I just wanted to say congratulations to Joey. I don't know if you remember me. I used to wrestle with you in high school in Carlsbad. Bobby Ayala. Yes, sir. What's up, buddy? How's it going, man? I just wanted to say congratulations. I wish you the best of luck. I'll be watching the UFC fights and good luck.
Thank you, brother. Very cool. M1 Harold, big UFC fan. Harold? Big time UFC fan. Yeah. Hey, I actually have something in common with this guy. We both train the same guy, but I train the guy in arm wrestling. Who's that? Jake Smith. Yep. You know Jake Smith? Hey. Definitely. I think this guy's being kind of modest because I heard he beat Houston Alexander. You beat Houston Alexander? Pretty easily. Are you serious, dude? Nice. Yeah. Well, I mean, he has no wrestling. So that was actually one fight where I was smart, and I just ran up and grabbed him and took him to the ground. Like, I wasn't going to give him a chance to hit me. For those of you that don't know Houston Alexander, he's pretty good. He's pretty good. So that's cool, man. And that was actually the fight that propelled me into the UFC. That was the one that... You know, quote unquote, got me on the map. And do you have a conversation with Dana White where Dana White called you up or how did that go down? No, no, no. Basically, my manager called me and just said that there he got me on the show. He got me on literally six day notice. So he's like, we're fighting. We're fighting on Saturday. He called me on Monday. And I was like, let's do it. Joey, what do you do to harness or to control fear?
You know, I'm a big believer in fight or flight reflex. Either you got it or you don't. And when I get scared, and I get scared every time, I get scared and I think, I need to hit this guy before he hits me. And that's how I react. I don't get scared and turn away. So as soon as you get scared, that's the moment where you go for it. Yeah, definitely. How much of your game in the octagon is instinct and how much of it is pure training? I think I definitely fight a lot on instinct and emotion. But also at the same time, I'm a big game plan person. If me and my corner men and my coaches have gone over a certain game plan, I have it in the back of my head and I know and I believe in them and I trust them that if I do this, if I execute the plan, I'm going to win. I've always wanted to know this from one of you guys because I love UFC, love watching it. When the bell rings and you go sit down and they're giving you water, they're going over instructions. And they're usually giving you instructions. They're just throwing instructions at you. All fighters, never do you see the fighters actually looking at the person, giving them their instructions. They're usually looking straightforward, very focused. How much of what they're saying?
are you paying attention to? And how much are you actually thinking in your own head about what you just did? You know, I've been and I've had the same corner man, the same coach since day one, since the first day I walked into an MMA gym and I was, you know, over 300 pounds and said, I want to, oh, I want to fight the UFC. Like, so does everybody else, guy. You know, basically the same guy that told me there's a 98% chance that you're not going to fight in the UFC, brutally honest with me, is the same guy that's cornered me. all 14, 15 of my fights. So, I mean, we definitely have, he, you know, his name's Matt Stantel. He's my manager also. So when he's talking, you're listening? Yeah, and he's really, really good at not, he's super calm, super mellow, super business-like. Take us onto that stool. What will he say to you? He'll usually keep it to a minimum of one or two specific things. He's not like, oh, you're doing blah, blah, blah. It's like really calm, like, all right, breathe.
in the nose out the mouth breathe breathe breathe and he'll actually tell you that and you'll and you'll listen to it and do it and you'll start going yeah exactly exactly and then he'll give me a big one why what does that do just gets you mellow just calms you down and gets you in that place to go out and do it again right now can he how how often is he right about if you adjust this you can win you know him along with my other uh Along with my other MMA coach, Eric Del Fioro, down at Alliance in Chula Vista. Those two guys are some of the top-notch game plan MMA strategists in the country. And it's only a matter of time before people start. People have already started taking notice to our team. We have about four or five guys, or three or four guys that just got into the UFC, and we're going to start taking some names. Yeah. And it's only a matter of time before they're noticing and they're upright up there with, oh, like the Greg Jacksons and the AKA teams, you know. Who's hit you? Hard? That you haven't forgot. I always tell this. The one person that hit me the hardest that hurt the most was this little dude. His name's, no, it wasn't a little dude, but this guy's name is Jacob Browey. I bet he wouldn't be little to me. No. And it was at the Gladiator Challenge at Casino Palma. We fought literally in a parking lot.
Hey, dude, you hit me up right before you did that fight. You wrote me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was that fight because he hit me right in the eyeball. Oh, my gosh. It wasn't anywhere on the cheekbone or the forehead. It was right in the eyeball. If you don't know, they fight with very small gloves. In the UFC, the gloves only weigh four ounces. Yeah. And so it's like getting hit with a fist. It's basically just to protect your hands. Yeah, basically. And so he hit you, and when he hit you, it went straight into your eyeball? Yeah. It hurt. For a while, for a couple of weeks, I was scared. I love that. He goes, yeah, it went straight into my eyeball. It hurt. A couple of weeks, I thought I actually might have to go to the doctor. And, you know, you, of all people, would know how Mexicans are about going to the doctor. We don't do it. Yeah, yeah. You know what happens when you go to the doctor? They tell you something's wrong with you. Unless you're me and then you get a hangnail and you're crying and you're in the fetal position. Hey, Mike, have you ever felt like a bigger Sally? No. Never. Never. Never. See, you're a tough Mexican, okay? I am a wimpy Mexican. He's like, you can relate to this, Mike. I'm like, what? Are you kidding? I mean, not even a little bit.
Let's take one more call, and then we've got to move on. But this is M1 Eddie. Are you there? Yeah, this is M1 Darkness right here. What's up? What's up, dude? Not much. I just had a couple things to ask and talk to Joey about. Sure. One thing is, hey, Joey, where you watching the fight this weekend, man? At M1 AC's house, sitting next to you, M1 Darkness. See you there, man. You're going to watch it with him? Yeah. That's hilarious. And another thing I had. Mikey, I called him a couple days ago when he had an embarrassing sports story. Yeah. And he was actually there when my buddy got beat by the girl. Oh, really? I was. Yes. Some wrestling. Yes. Yeah. Now, let me hear it. Thank you, Eddie. Let me hear it from your perspective, Joey. How did that go down? How did that go down? And for the record. No, this is the first time I've ever told this story out loud. Nice. Yeah, you've told it 80,000 times. This is a staple for when we're drunk. Okay, so his name's M1 Bucky. Yeah. Now, we were at a wrestling tournament. It was at Mount Carmel High School. I was a sophomore. He was a freshman. We were on the JV team. Not that you remember every single moment of it. It was 317 in the afternoon. Yeah, it was 317 approximately. It was 57 degrees outside.
And so the way it works at wrestling tournaments is they go in weight class order. So I'm a heavyweight, and he was a 103 pounder. So all the heavyweights get done, and they bring on all the little guys. Right. The little guys. The little guys. The Mikeys. Yes. And I'm walking. I just got done winning my match, and I'm putting all my sweats on, my warm-ups, and I'm walking off the mat, and I just hear this roar. Like, the entire crowd, the entire gymnasium, up on their feet, cheering in unison. And I look over, and I just see this poor little blonde individual flopping in his purple singlet. Oh, it had to be purple. Yeah, well, at Carlsbad High School, we get the very masculine colors of purple. Yeah. And imagine how I looked in a purple singlet. Good Lord. I've only been called Barney a few times. So I just saw his legs flopping, and he has this girl on top of him. And I was just like, no, no. It's a little bit good. It's the last time that happened in his life. After that happened. You know what I mean? You never had a girl on top of him again. Joey Beltran, man. He is our man. Thank you, guys. We love him. And he's fighting at UFC 113. Thanks for coming in. Thank you, Mike. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it.
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Save on big brands and exclusive designers. New look, new day. Who knew? JCPenney. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Dude, she's a smart girl, man. That was incredible. Too bad we can't talk about it, but it was freaking incredible. She reads a lot. She's a bookworm. And one bookworm. And one bookworm. If you had to take a guess, I can probably tell you, I've probably in my life read seven books from beginning to end. From beginning to end. Now, how many books have I started? Probably thousands. A hundred. You know, book one. How many books have you read, do you think? Probably literally thousands. Thousands of books. Since I first started reading, God, yes.
And you too, right, Woods? Yeah, for sure. Thousands of books. Thousands. I'm right there with you, Mike. I love to read. Do you like the vampire books? The Dracula books? The Dracula ones? I'm such an elitist, but I read all the twice. Yes! Several times. Several times. So are you team Jacob or Edward? Edward. I played the fifth on that one. Do you? I don't want to give too much away. I'm an elitist here. Bookworm, you know? You really read everything. I do. Me too. Like Tabasco labels if there's nothing to read. Yeah. It's ridiculous. How do you read? Because I'm sure you're the fast reader, right? Okay, so let me ask you. You're taking a flight from here to New York. It's a six-hour flight. Can you read a book in a flight? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Easily. She just gave me a look. Like, are you an idiot? Yeah, like, what am I, a plebeian? You're an artisan. Coal miner. Yeah, coal miner. But a lot of people read to fall asleep. Like, does that ever make you fall asleep? No. It can make me fall asleep, but I'm like you, man. I could read all day, every day. Okay. Do you ever go to the library? Actually, I used to work in a bookstore, so I kind of have a library in my house. I love it. I love it. So, Bookworm, how do you, with the reading a book on a flight, how do you read so fast?
Do your eyes just go across the words real fast? Like I've never physically understood how people read that way. I just get so into the story usually that it's almost like I'm watching a movie. Really? Yeah, because I'm picturing everything in my mind like it's a movie. I just wish I could do that, man, because when I read, I read at the same... speed that I speak, and I can't read faster than the way that I talk. I read slower than that. You do? I get bored. You get trained, though. I told Mike this story. I was an English major, and I had a gun to my head. I had to read these books. And you get better and better. I feel like I don't even have to read the whole page sometimes, dude, to get what I need out of it. Really? I wouldn't say I'm a speed reader, but literally I have that ability to do that. That's pretty cool. And you can retain it too, right? Yeah. That's good. That's good stuff. Do you remember? Me too. Oh, good. Perfect. Yeah. Let's have a cappuccino after. Woods has recommendations for books and shares books with people and he can read them real fast. So it's, you know, it's great.
And you recommended a couple of books for me to read, and I will, but I'll do eight pages. No, he won't. Just forward that email to me. I will. I'll do eight pages. Okay, I have a question. So picture books, then. When you read books, like, say you read a book ten years ago, and now someone's like, did you read that book? You remember it perfectly? Yeah, usually. I'll remember, especially, you know, especially characters that stick out to me. It's like I know them. So if we asked you questions about the Twilight stuff, you'd be able to know them. Details. Yeah. Of course. Stop asking me about Twilight. She's embarrassed. Lord of the Rings. What's your favorite of all time? Number one. Number one book ever. Oh, easy. Pride and Prejudice. Oh, wow. I could read it over and over. Is that Jane Austen that you speak of? Yes. Look at you, Mr. Smart Guy. Really? Smart Guy. He won't even engage. Yeah, I can't. He's not engaging. I can't because I don't know. People are glazing over in their clothes. Yeah, I am. Pride and Prejudice. Thank you, Bookworm. You're welcome. It's the best. Let's see. Your next Facebook friend, just so you know, could be some sort of undercover agent. Yep. Why? The Electronic Frontier Foundation just revealed this week. What's the Electronic Frontier Foundation? Oh, it's that foundation I started. It's the EFF, dude. You don't know the EFF? Hello. Apparently the EFF, they just know these things, okay? Well, they just revealed this week that the FBI and other federal undercover workers are now on all the social networks, Facebook, Twitter.
MySpace, if anyone goes on it anymore. No one. I know. Just Frankie. But they do it so that they can, you know. What's the matter with MySpace? Frankie, you still go on MySpace? Yeah, I've got a page right now. I was just working on it and you interrupted me. I was just putting a new song from Sarah McLaughlin right when you said that. McLaughlin. What color is your page? Pink. I'm not surprised. Weird. Really? Mm-hmm. The only reason I can do that is because I have confidence in my own masculinity. You do. That sounds like what I say when I wear pink shirts. See? I actually call it salmon. It's the color. It's pink. It's not actually pink. It's more salmon. All right, I lied. It's cotton candy. You guys are besties. You're starting to sound the same now. I know. Yeah, dude, we're starting to sound the same. What do you think? Let's get on a tandem bike. Come on. We finish each other's sentences a lot of time. Oh, no. All the time. All the time. All the time. All the time. So if you see someone that maybe looks a little suspicious, that's trying to be your friend, it could be an undercover cop that's trying to, you know, what they're doing. And it makes sense why they would do it is they're going to go if they have a little lead on someone that they'll go into their social network and they'll look and kind of snoop around and try to get information from people. Really? Yeah. And just see what's posted and look at pictures and see what kind of person that person is. Shanna doesn't want her husband to get Facebook. Here we go. Is that weird?
Yes. No, it's not. Let me put the key in the ignition here. What does that mean? Yeah, what does that mean? It's time to get it on. We're about to get nasty in here. In your world, I don't think anyone else knew that that's what that meant. Mikey knew what it meant. I knew exactly what it meant. That means it's about to get nasty in here. Yeah. So why do you not want your husband? To have a Facebook account. And I'll just sit back and enjoy this. Well, he doesn't have one and he doesn't really want one. But because he doesn't have one and he's the. Yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. But all of all of his friends are always trying to convince him. You know, you can like send requests to people to their email being like, join Facebook. Right. Well, he gets those all the time, and they're always trying to convince him. Like, dude, you can see all your old friends, stuff like that. And he always tells me, like, oh, yeah, Joel is trying to get me to join. And I'm like, you better not. I don't want him to. Why? Because I don't want to be seeing. He's 38 years old. I'm 24. He has a lot of a larger past. And he's from Pennsylvania. So he has many of old girls that I don't need to know about. What was his nickname?
I don't want to talk about it. What did they used to call the guy? He's a good-looking guy. Okay, I agree. Really? He's very handsome. Is he good-looking enough for this particular? In Pennsylvania, yes. Really? Mike, you're a 10 in Pennsylvania. I'm moving to Amish country right now. In Pennsylvania. Do you want to move to Erie? We'll get this thing going. We'll work it out, man. We'll talk to Hoyle and see if we got him in. You guys, you have to admit, you know, there are very attractive people in different areas. There are attractive people in Pennsylvania, don't get me wrong. No, we get it. But San Diego. You think people from Pennsylvania are out? Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. I totally understand. He's from Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Okay. Heard of that place? What did they used to call Todd back in the day? I don't want to talk about it. Please. I don't like it. Todd the God. Todd the God. Zeus. And why? Because the girls liked him. The guy used to close a lot of business. I don't need to hear about it. I don't need to hear about it. It makes me want to throw up. I don't want to think about it. Here's what you don't want to see. You don't want to log on to Facebook and see, Todd is now friends with Beth White. I will 100% every single day check his page. Then you see Beth White has posted on Todd's page. And then it's...
Toddy, it's been so long. I haven't seen you. No, no, no. You look great. Yeah. And then, yeah. He looks real young compared to everyone else. And then Melissa Colburn wrote, OMG! Exclamation point. T-T-G. Todd the God. No! I can't believe you're on Facebook finally. I don't know if, maybe the girls called him that, but I know his buddies called him that because they were like, what the heck, Todd the God, because he's the one that always got the girls. I need your number now. Yeah, we need to catch up. We have to catch up. It's a small world. I'm coming out to see any of you. Oh, yeah, I'm going to be there next week. Oh, God. Sienna just bleh. This is Sienna thinking about his Facebook page. Shot after shot. Shot after shot. No. Okay, I'm sorry. I can pretty much guarantee that almost, because I know Mikey is probably in a different situation, but almost every couple has had at least one fight due to someone of the opposite sex commenting on their spouse's or boyfriend's page. 100%. Why do I want to deal with that? No, Jay? No.
Yeah, Jay's been married for 87 years. I don't think it's a trust thing necessarily. I trust him 100%. I just don't want to see these girls. I don't want to know about them. I know about the girls in his life now. It's unnecessary. Yeah, Lauren's like, I'll throw it out there. I don't care. What's that? Get off my boy's stuff. Get out of here. Get out. Shoot, shoot. Get. This is the reason I got off MySpace before it was cool to get off MySpace. She sets the trends. She would hate to be thought of as getting off MySpace when everyone else got off MySpace. Not because there was no one else for her to talk to because they weren't there anymore. She's like, I want people to know it was 27 days before most people started to abandon MySpace. Yeah. Okay, but every girl in this room has to back me up, right? Really? Like, they look at their boyfriend or their husband. Bookworm, you're on MySpace. I mean, Facebook. No, we're talking. My husband doesn't have no. Really? Is he a fireman? He's not allowed. He's a fireman, right? It's not that he's not allowed. Your husband's a fireman? Is he a fireman? Good idea. See, girls are going to be like, yeah, let me see you ride down that pole. That's right.
Really smart. The post says, something's smoldering over here. Something's on fire here, and it's not my house. But it's like, we don't need that extra thing that just bugs us. Like, I don't need that. We're great. Just get out, Facebook and Todd. Maybe you just let the guy have his own page. He doesn't want it. He does. Call him. He doesn't want it. Oh, he does. He wants it. He does. He's got it. Okay, all right. I'll tell you this. I'll tell you what. What if me and Woods will make it for him? We'll make it real easy? Yeah. Look at her. No, look at her. I will choke slam both of you. Wow. We get some pictures, you know. Todd the God in his Brewer's uniform. Yeah. He played in the minor leagues. Like, I don't need to hear about all of this, okay? Yeah. Nothing happens in the minor leagues. No, nothing happens in the minors. What happens in the minor leagues? Hey, you know the good thing about being a baseball player? Girls never throw themselves at a professional baseball player. It's really hard to close biz. I play in a men's league and I got to beat him up on a stick. He goes, okay. Do I? Do you? But I don't want to be like totally judgmental because obviously I have Facebook. So he has my login and if he wants to talk to friends, he goes through me. Unbelievable. Wow. That way.
I can monitor it if I need to, you know? So Sienna is writing his friends, you know? And they're like, is this Todd? Todd can't come to the computer right now. He's busy. Yeah. Sorry, Todd is sleeping, so I just wanted to let you know. Todd the fraud. Todd the fraud. What would you do if you found out he had a secret Facebook already? He doesn't. How do you know? Because I know my man. Because I just searched Todd the God. I search every variation of his name. How do you know? He doesn't. You think I haven't tried? Talk to me. Easy. I'm just kidding about that last part, kind of. Michael. Does your significant other, Matt, have a Facebook page? Of course he does. He's a musician. Yeah. Girls never throw themselves at musicians either. So you guys are both in the clear. You're in a good place because girls are not attracted to musicians. They hate guys that play guitar and sing. Especially handsome ones. With great bodies and good physiques. They hate that. So you're good. Do you ever go onto his wall? Yeah. Periodically. Every break. I go on there every once in a while.
No, we're not crazy. How is that crazy? Woods is just talking so fast and so loud that we can't get words in, so we sound crazy. Is that right? Yes. I'll sip my lip. It's a little crazy on my part, but I don't care. All right? I care. I'm a woman. I don't need a man to sort of validate my existence. And I also have a trust left. Crazy. I'm crazy for feelings. It's ridiculous. You know what we're about to get? The Irish Cyclone is coming. She's brewing. Let me show you what it looks like in camera. This is what it looks like while she's checking his page. I don't know. She has a face like, oh, no, she did not just post that. The Z snap. Huh. Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down. No! Do girls ever hit on Matt at gigs? Look at that girl's picture. Oh, yeah. They do? Oh, yeah. In front of you. Yeah, here's what it sounds like as she's looking at his page. Slime.
Yeah. Whorish. Skank. Whorish. Clebian. Idiot. Farmer. Airhead. Farmer. Cheap. Artisan. Whore. Coal miner. I can totally see her roots growing in. Trash. Oh, God. Look at her. I have to, like, I go to his gigs, and that's part of, like, his shtick. If he is, like, on stage being like, my girlfriend's so great. I wrote this one for her. Then all of a sudden, his stock value is like... So he doesn't really play that card. Doesn't mention his girlfriend on stage? No. I was a marketing major, so that was part of my idea for him. You're more marketable that way. Are you kidding me? But he'll say, like, I wrote this song for someone sweet, but he'll never say, like, my girlfriend, my girlfriend. He'll never drop that bomb. And then afterwards, they'll be like... Oh, my God. He just flailed her hair around when she did that. I love it. Sticking the breasts out. Oh, my. And you got to stand there, right? Yeah. Does it slay you? Like, are you just furious? Yeah. And you're mad at him, which is not fair. I guarantee you. No, no, no, no. Because in the car, she's like, this is the last freaking game you're playing here. I promise you that. You're going to play at the zoo. That's where you're going to play from now on. Do you ever go, hey, boyfriend Matt, it's honey. Honey. Honey. We should go back to our apartment that we live in together now. Shouldn't we?
Let's go visit your grandma together. Amazing. Who loves me, by the way. Darling, do you still want to make love in an act? Are you going to talk to those girls, or are we going to go home and make love? Yes. On my schedule here, it says that you and I... Our schedule. Our boyfriend and girlfriend, and we are supposed to make love. Don't forget, we need to go to Bed Bath & Beyond first thing in the morning. He's just like, shut up. Trying to sell some CDs over here. Brilliant. So what do you do when you go to his Facebook page? Every once in a while. Every day. Every once in a while. I learned my lesson with MySpace because I used to check it all the time and be like, who's this? And if they were good looking, then it was like, oh. But if they weren't, I was like, eh, not so much. How often do you go to Facebook? Like a couple times a week. But I'm serious. Multiply that by 10. He's not really active on Facebook. Where is he more sexually? I mean, where is he more active? YouTube. Really? Yeah, but those are like nameless or faceless names. Well, everybody can creep girls on YouTube. That's how Mikey found you. It's true. It's true. But my question is, is you and Matt have gotten in fights over Facebook, right? Posts? Over MySpace. Altercations? MySpace, yeah. Woods, you and Jamie, your wife? Yeah, absolutely. My wife's a Magnum PI, dude. The other people in the room, any fights on Facebook? Everyone's scared. Everyone is scared. It's true. It's true. Bookworm?
No, he doesn't have a Facebook. Oh, he doesn't have a Facebook. Dude, that guy fights fires. You think he has time for Facebook? He's like, what are you, six? Get out of here. I got to go chop down a door and save some old lady from burning. Yeah, he's like, hey, Peter Pan, when you're done, no. When you're done poking your friend and making a little funny, sending funny little farm stuff. Farm bill. Are you in the mafia? You're in the mafia? Great, I'm fighting fires, okay? Hey, as soon as you're done tagging that photo, can you maybe make my lunch for the fire I'm going to fire? I got a door I'm going to chop down. But that's why I don't want Todd to get one. Like, preventative measures here, people. I agree. Maybe just chain them to the bed and you just see them when you get home. Yeah. How about that? No, I trust him. I just, you don't trust the girls, all right? When I was giving CPR last night. You were tagging your friend, Cynthia, okay? So just to put things in perspective. You were growing virtual corn. Yeah, so how'd that go for you? But I had seven people strapped on my back. I'm saving little kids. Yeah, I was taking a kid out of a swimming pool while you were growing virtual corn. That's so awesome. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call.
And if you want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Got new movies we're going to do for you. I also have audio of Bin Laden's audio message warning Americans and much more. This is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Coming to San Diego this Saturday air. Air this Saturday at 4th and B. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Brand of ethereal dream pop and electronica. Live this Saturday at 4th and B. Ticketmaster.com for your tickets to see air this Saturday. Must be 21 with proper ID. Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Now you can't.
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Were you to pass him on the street and he didn't see you, you would still feel like he said hello and asked you about your day. If you were stuck in an elevator with him, you wouldn't want to be saved. Even his treehouses have finished basements. His business card just says, I'll call you. Interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends. Verizon is the best destination for incredible deals on exceptional 3G smartphones. And right now, they're going one better with buy one, get one free offers on their smartest 3G smartphones. You heard it. Just choose a 3G smartphone like the touchscreen BlackBerry Storm 2 or the versatile BlackBerry Curve 8530 and get another one free.
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We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344. 800-724-1344. Again, that's 800-724-1344. Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can beat Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick. Woods. I don't know what my point is. I just felt like saying it. Okay? Lauren. I washed my hands like a thousand times. I do too. I love salami. And Jay. I was the guy I most voted most likely to snap on FM 94.9. Englishbeat. Lauren is picking the music today and just left a really sweet message for her boyfriend. Sure did. On his Facebook page.
In case anyone didn't know. Oh, it's funny. Amazing. Yeah. She wrote... What did you write? Why don't you read it? I said... Hi, darling. Ouch. I said... No, you just said, it's your girlfriend. Hi, boyfriend. Yeah, you said... This is your girlfriend, Lauren, in quotes. And then I said... Well, my computer conveniently just shut down. There you go. It says, it's so great that we're in love. Period. And... Period. And committed. Period. And then Woods put his hand on my mouse and clicked share. Yeah, it's on there. For all to see. That's awesome. Matt will freak out when he reads it. Yeah, because if he hasn't texted me by now, he's probably working. He's going to get home, make himself a wheat sandwich, and he's going to open his Facebook and go, oh, God, what did I do? Did I black out and do something? I have no idea. She knows. She knows. Oh, my God, I'm dead.
An M1 is a Mikey Show listener. If you call in and you're an M1, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. I want to remind you, too, about what's going on here at the radio station with our March Madness. It's going on at FM949SD.com. And you can go there. You can check it out and see who's getting close to the Hound Dog Trophy, which is going to be cool. And it's going to be soon, too, because the whole tournament's going to be over pretty soon. Welcome back to the show. Apparently, Osama bin Laden sent out some sort of a message, and it's on YouTube. It came out yesterday. My message is about the captives that you have taken from us. Your friend in the White House has been following in the footsteps of his predecessor in many important issues, such as escalating the war in Afghanistan. and unjustly treating our people that you took as captives. Most importantly, hero warrior Khaled Sheikh Mohammed. How have we not found this? I'm like, I'm crawling out of my skin. How have we not found this? The White House has stated its interest in executing them. The day America will take such a decision, it would have taken a decision to execute whoever we capture. The politicians in the White House were practicing injustice against us, and they still are.
especially by supporting Israel in its continued occupation of Palestine. And the United States across the oceans thought it was protected from the rage of the oppressed until our reaction was loudly heard at your home. On 9-11. I can't believe that is that just made my skin crawl, man. Yeah, that's chilling. So basically they just said, you know, if we kill any of the Al-Qaeda members that we have right now, then they're going to kill and capture. Well, they don't. As far as we know, Al-Qaeda doesn't have any of our Americans. They're not holding any Americans, but they're saying they're going to get them and they're going to kill them if we touch their people. Right. What do you say? What do you say to that? You don't respond to it and you find him. Yeah, you just keep doing your best to find him. It's so ridiculous. And the other thing about it is the cowardice. It's so cowardly. You're sitting in a cave somewhere making Betamax tapes and sending them out to the news organization. You know what kills me? Ass clown. What kills me is that I get two bars at my house and that dude's got internet in a cave. How is that possible?
Yeah, seriously. I'm like at my house. I'm like, can you hear me? Woods, Woods, what do you think of this Hoyle bit? Hang on. But it sounds like... Meanwhile, Osama bin Laden, 20 miles inside of a cave, sending out messages. Unbelievable. On the wireless internet. What we did was... We knew that there was a need to be able to be in a cave and be able to send out... And so we decided that the way to do it would be wirelessly. Obviously. That's right. Wirelessly. The eye cave. The eye cave. You can do anything that way now. Did you know that a 73-year-old person spent two nights in a TJ jail because they thought that he had drugs? Turns out it wasn't drugs. Yes, it was a Nigerian man who was a U.S. citizen. He was born in Nigeria. He went home and got some little vegetables to make a soup, a popular soup that they ate over there. And he had a family member. That they ate over where? In Nigeria. Okay. And they had a family member. You went on a Nigerian soup? Yeah. Well, he says what the food contents were. Spices, dried fish, and vegetables. Sounds delicious. It does.
Mikey just almost spit out his drink. That sounds like jail. I know. I've eaten better food than jail. I'd rather have day-old sloppy joes on a biscuit than eat that. The Nigerian fish soup? The Nigerian fish soup. It's called ugu. Of course it is. You know why? Because booger's already taken. That's the filthiest food. And the fact that it's dried. It's not even fresh fish. It's dried fish. Of course. Don't hate on their food. Fresh fish would be way too, you know, normal. People may make fun of our deviled eggs, okay? Oh, dude, don't ever make fun of deviled eggs. Those deviled eggs are delicious. I could eat 50 deviled eggs. I can't wait for Easter because we always have them.
Dude, I'm not going home for Easter, I don't think. I'm going to need somebody to bring me some deviled eggs. It won't be me because my wife finds them repulsive. Me too, Rebecca. I make them. I make a mean deviled egg. Will you make me 70? The key is a little honey mustard in there. Delicious. A little horseradish is good too, if you didn't know. Every once in a while, I'll get them. If I'm having a bunch of people, if I'm having a bunch of guys over, I'll get a tray of the deviled eggs at the grocery store. And as soon as I take the plastic pop off the top of it, Rebecca goes, yeah, and runs to the bathroom. I mean, dude, they smell awful. Yeah, they do. Awful. You know what, though? They taste delicious. A little paprika sprinkled on top. I would do a contest. I think I could eat 50. Oh, we should do a contest. I think I could eat 50. You guys, I'd rather not watch him get sick. I could eat 50. I'm saying I could eat 50. Ask my wife. I'll knock down a dozen. A minute and a half. My grandma makes extras because she knows I'll eat them all. You should taste them from fresh eggs. Oh, my God. Oh, they are wicked. You tell grandma to make it right. Grandma will make it right. Grandma will make it right. Let me say that line. All right. So I'm not even going to attempt to pronounce his name. I'm sorry. You do it. Right there. It's the first thing highlighted. Yeah, never mind. No, it's difficult. His name is Greg.
Right, yeah. So he, on March 15th, he went from San Diego to Tijuana, across the border. Tijuana. Tijuana. Easy Mikey. That's the way you say it. Easy Mikey. Native San Diegan. Mm-hmm. And 73 years old, a social worker, and he got pulled over, questioned, going into Mexico. Mm-hmm. And they were like, what are these? They look like drugs, got thrown in. It's like, it's a carrot. It's fish soup, dude. Yeah. What do you want? It looks like, really? It's Ugo. That carrot looks like heroin? It's Ugo. Yeah. So it got thrown in the jail. You know what? Snort the Ugu, bro. See what happens. See what happens. The guy's taking it. Yeah. He's rubbing it on his gums. Nothing's happening. Yeah, he's like, so now I'm not getting it. Nothing's happening. So he gets the ingredients for Ugu to bring to his relative that lives in Mexico, gets pulled over, gets thrown into the jail in TJ for two days. Yep, finally he's been released. He couldn't speak Spanish, so, like, they were questioning him and he couldn't defend himself. Of course he couldn't. He's Nigerian. Yeah, he's Nigerian. This guy's eating ugu. He's a U.S. citizen as well. Great. He also eats ugu, right? So they had to test the materials before they let him out. You know how you test it? Look at it. Yeah. That's not drugs. Okay, you're free to go, Val. Maybe they thought they were mushrooms. Really? The dried carp? Yeah. Thought that was a mushroom?
You might try smelling it. You know, sometimes carp and mushrooms smell different. Yummy. I got a hankering for some fish soup right now. I like that. With deviled eggs floating inside. What? Really? Come on now. Really? Delicious. It's a good prank you pulled on somebody like April Fool type stuff. We used to do wet chairs at my office where they would get up and leave. for a phone call and we had black chairs like this, we'd pour water all over the chair and it would really blend in. So they'd come and they'd sit down and they'd see him go, oh, dude. Thoughts would be wet for the rest of the day. That's funny. I'm going to remember that. I love that. Again, I'm seven. I love it. Call us if you've had a good one. 570-1949. Oh my God, it's better than I thought.
Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. No one likes to walk away feeling they've just paid too much for their car. Now for a limited time, BMW is offering 0.9% APR financing on select certified pre-owned BMW vehicles. That's 0.9% for the finest German engineering performance and handling. on a vehicle that's a similar price to other lesser new cars. That's 0.9% APR for a vehicle that's as well-maintained as any on the road. And 0.9% for a protection plan backed by BMW for up to six years or 100,000 miles. Need we say more? Visit your authorized BMW center for details on these extraordinary offers. And remember, only an authorized BMW center has access to these special rates. Certified pre-owned by BMW. Now through March 31st, get .9% financing on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your local BMW center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash cpo for details. Check engine. How many things can go wrong with your car? That's why Pep Boys invented one place that can make them all right. Right now, it's dollar days at Pep Boys and the buck shopped here. Buy any three installed DFINITY tires. Get the fourth tire for a buck with instant rebate.
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It's time again for the 36th Annual Front Hall Show, March 24th through the 28th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. It's San Diego's number one outdoor adventure event and only major boat show. Acres of fishing tackle, boats, destination resorts, fishing kayaks, hunting outfitters, the kids' trout pond, fresh and saltwater aquariums, new products, fashion shows, cooking demos, the Doc Dogs, laser shot, air gun ranges, fishing video games, nearly 200 free seminars, and once-in-a-lifetime deals. It's a full day of family entertainment sponsored by... Ford, Quantum, Finor, Shakespeare, Trayton Boats, Plano, Turner's Outdoorsman, Okuma, Costa Del Mar, Hotel Rancho Lino Nero, The World Fishing Network, Killzone Outfitters, and the 600 members of the American Sport Fishing Association. Enter to win free trips on the Royal Polaris and to Lake El Salto from Cardin Resorts. Under 16 free, kids fish free. It's San Diego's number one show, and it only happens once a year. March 24th to the 28th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. Details at FredHall.com. It's a war. No way. Ugh, gross. Ugh, gross.
OMG, Jessica and Mark are obviously more than just friends. Skeevy. Uh, lol. That's LOL. Right. More from the home screen of Lisa's backflip phone as this story develops. Awesome. Whatever. The new backflip, only on AT&T, the nation's fastest 3G network. For a limited time, get the new Motorola Backflip for just $99.99 and get one free. Hurry, offer ends March 31st. 3G not available in all areas. Two-year wireless service agreement with voice plan and minimum $30 monthly data plan required per phone. Certain geographic, other charges and restrictions apply. See store for details. Attention to all Americans overwhelmed with $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Due to the economic crisis, a bailout program has now been established that may eliminate up to 50% of what you owe the credit card companies. This consumer debt bailout is now active to help Americans regain finances during these hard economic times and save money. We have one goal in mind with this bailout, and that is to eliminate up to 50% of your credit card debts for good and roll everything into one affordable lower monthly payment. If you're a U.S. citizen and owe over $10,000, you may now call to see if you qualify.
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car country, Carlsbad, or anytime at BobBakerMazda.com. Mama Testa Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can beat Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to look like Rerun. Woods. Kissed plenty of chubby girls in my day, pal. Lauren. One of the reasons I don't like paper plates. Wasteful. Zienna. My butts never look tanner. And Jay. Howdy ho, neighbor. On FM 94.9. Hello. Beginning of the song. Is it? Really? Yeah. Somebody's shuffling cards. It's a really good song, yeah. Wow, this is really, acoustically, you know, it's really got a lot of presence. It's the sound of a dog. Sounds like a kid's house. That's right. It does. 570-1949. Big time pranks. Jay said he had one that he did. Good prank. Yeah, I've got a great one. When I was in high school, me and a bunch of buddies decided that we would tap into the high school PA system. So we all got together and put together this recording.
And it was right at the time, Bob and Doug McKenzie, oh, take off, eh? Oh, you hosers, that thing. So record it, put it up in the ceiling. You don't have a clue. Strange brew. Strange brew, exactly. Thank you. So then we took the recording, placed it up in the ceiling, put a timer on it, ran down to a power switch. Listen to MacGyver in high school. All sitting in our class. This is so crazy. All sitting in our class, and all of a sudden on the PA system, bam. So, hey, school's over. Hey, everybody go home. This whole deal's over. So if you got smoke, smoke them. Genius smoke them if you got them, dude. The school went mental. That is genius. One person got ratted out. We had a sworn oath. You know, we will not tell. No one will tell. My teacher comes. The teacher that I actually did in her classroom, I put it in the ceiling there. She knew it was me. So she came over, grabbed me, drug me by my hair to the principal's office. No way. I was like, and I was playing it up. I'm like, oh, no. I didn't do it. I get in there. All the other guys are all in there. They've already confessed the whole thing. I'm the only one. They're like, oh, we know. We just need you to confirm it. I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. So I got put in reassignment school for two weeks. For that? Yeah, yeah. What happened to them?
Oh, they got nothing because they confessed. I was just like, I'm not going to. Executed. You're like, way to hold strong, James. This was Texas in the 70s. The school wore black armbands the next day, but then they said anybody who wears black armbands. Schools, a bunch of no fun. I went from zero to hero. No, you went, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know what we used to do at work too, Michael? What? It was very easy to get into somebody else's voicemail. So I would get into my boy Murphy's voicemail and I would say, Yes, thank you for calling Reach Local. This is Dan Murphy. Please call me tomorrow at extension. And we would do like our voices and you wouldn't, you'd go a week and people would leave messages. They'd be like, this is just for Dan. Susanna? Yeah, Susanna. Exactly. It was classic. I love it. M1 Jonathan, you there? Jonathan. John Pan? John Pan? John Pan. John Pan again. John Pan. John Pan. Yeah. Go ahead. So my father, the first time he met his future mother-in-law, my grandma, of course, he walks in the house and he's supposed to go on a date with my mom. And mom's in the back room taking a shower, getting ready or whatever. So my grandma's standing there in the kitchen and she's drinking a beer and she's got a dime on her nose. Grandma's drinking a beer with a dime on her nose? She's got a dime, like a dime, like, you know, the coin. And she's got a funnel.
In the front of her pants, like in her, like, you know, just in the front of her pants where the belt buckle is. Weird. Hang on just a minute. Hang on just a second. We need to figure this out. What is he talking about? This is an April Fool's joke. The grandma was trying to get the guy. I think he's speaking in Mandarin Chinese, I think. I know, because he said something about a funnel and a dime. You know, Grandma was in the kitchen. Drinking a beer. Drinking a beer. With a funnel in her pants. I thought he said funnily enough. And a dime on her nose. That may be what he said. John Penn. All right, all right. What? So she's balancing a dime on the end of her nose. Of course she is. Okay, okay. And then she has a funnel in the front of her pants, and she's saying, she's trying to, and my dad walks in, and my dad's like, what are you doing? She's like, man, I've been trying to drop this dime in the funnel in the front of my pants. They'll turn their head down and try to have the dime fall into the funnel. So she keeps, like, missing, and he's like, well, let me try it. She's like, oh, okay. So she gives him the funnel, and he puts it in the front of his pants, and she gives him the dime, and he says, okay, balance out of your nose. Right before he drops the dime in his pants, she pours the beer.
All in the funnel down his pants before his date. Jean? Yes. The coolest girl. That's like the coolest mother-in-law ever. Yeah. She poured a beard down his pants. That's amazing. This was on April Fool's? No, no, no. This was his first date. First date. Oh, my gosh. I would have been like, yo, mama is crazy. I'm out. It's great. Thank you for the call. That's genius. Yeah, at first I didn't get it. Then it made sense. Well, I mean, it doesn't make any sense at all why anybody would ever do that. I was trying to do something and I was thinking of like a dime slot. Yeah, me too. Something weird. Strange. I was getting out of rehab April 1st and Rebecca was real excited. 28 days in rehab. I'm done. Called her the morning of and said, yeah. I relapsed. No way. That is so mean. Some alcohol in here, and they want me to stay 30 more days. You are kidding me. And she goes, are you kidding me? Why did you do that? I go, because it's April Fool's. You are a D. Monster. You're a D. I giggled like a school girl. You're a D. You're a giant, giant D. Giggity, giggity. Giggity, giggity. Let's see. Mikey, I propose to my now ex.
And when I got on one knee and opened the box, it read April Fool's. Genius. That's the greatest thing on that one. Genius. That's the greatest thing. And a springboard with like a boxing glove and punch her in the face. Pepper, what would you do if on April 1st, Maddie was like, I want us to go to the beach. Go to the beach. It's sunset. Grab that picnic basket by the door. So he'd be down on one knee. Gets down on one knee. Gets the thing out. I kick him in the chin. You kick him in the chin. Punch him in the neck. I would laugh so hard. Stab him in the face with a soldering iron. Loosening the top of the salt shaker to restaurants always. Brilliant. Just a brilliant, brilliant ploy. It's good. We got new movies coming out today. What do we got? First, can we make a pack? What? No April Fool's jokes on each other. No way. That's not, no. Get out. For God's sake. Come on. I'm telling you. I'm going to take the balls out of your guys' mice. Don't touch our balls, okay? Or my mice. That's right. Here's the deal. You don't want the tiger out of his cage on April Fool's. So I'm just telling you. I know. You know how I do. I know how I do. You know how I do. It scares me. Grow up, Pete. Okay. That's all I'm saying. I'm 34 years old. I don't play.
kid games anymore, right? Yeah. Don't get me. I'm telling you, don't get me. I'm looking at you because you just said you don't play games anymore. Kid games. You are like... I'll cut your hair off for April Fool's. That'll be the joke. You're like the joke. I said... And I'll staple it to a cowboy hat like Brett Mike. Put it on Mikey. That'll be April Fool's. Movies out in theater today that I won't go see any with Woods. Hot Tub Time Machine. It's finally out? Yeah. My goodness. Six months ago we interviewed that client. No kidding. John Cusack. A lot of post-production being done. Craig Robinson. It took a long time. Those guys were here like our first week. Yeah. It's like our first day on the air. Hey, Hot Tub Time Machine guys are here. How are you doing? It's worth the wait. Absolutely. The one that I'm really excited to go see and probably go see today, How to Train Your Dragon. What? Kids movie. It's a new porno coming out. No, it's a kid's movie and the stepdaughter has been wanting to see it. Really? It looks adorable. Gerard Butler. What? Looks fun. Jay, it looks really good. Oh, it looks great. Is it a cartoon? Get out, Mikey, with your cartoons. Is it a cartoon? With your cartoon. It's a cartoon. I'm sorry. I'm not as intellectual as you people. No, I don't like cartoons. You plebeian. Plebeian. You're going to see a cartoon. You're coal mining. You're farming. You're artisan. Go ahead. Watch your painted movies.
I'll be watching a documentary somewhere. That's right. Rest assured. Yes, I'll be watching something that has to do with the government. Oh, that sounds really, really thrilling. Passing bills. I'll probably watch Canadian Parliament. Yes. If you want to know the truth. Right. And the rest of the movies that are out today, ones you won't recognize most likely, Bluebeard, Cash, Chloe, The Eclipse, Godspeed, and Waking Sleeping Beauty. Not 0 for 5. I've never heard of any of those. That's why I pre-warned you. Why would, how would we not know? Because they're not the big ones. They're probably, you know. You want to go see Bluebeard, Mike? Yes. I want to go see Bluebeard. I want to go see Chloe. Me and you, Bluebeard. Yep. You guys got anything going on this weekend? I do. What do you got? Not personally, but I'm going to be a spectator. My girls Mimi Noop and Kara Beth Burnside, they're both professional skateboarders. They're going to be at an event, among others, like Tony Hawk, Annie McDonald, Bucky Lasik. It's from 10 to 5 tomorrow. It's called the PacSun Clash at Claremont. It's at the Bike and Skate Park in Mission Valley, YMCA. If I didn't know any better, you could have convinced me that Bucky LASIK developed the surgery for us. Yeah, I know, right? I would have believed it. I'd have believed it. Really? He's a guy that didn't? I need to get Bucky LASIK pretty soon. I need to. These contacts are driving me nuts. You guys should check it out. I've gone a couple years in a row. They've got Burt Street and ball skating there. It's in Mission Valley? It's in Mission Valley. Maybe the kid rolls down with you. Yeah. Why don't you call me? We'll see if you call me.
Yeah, it's... She's like, I'm not calling you. I'll be putting it... I hang out with you five days a week. I don't want to see you on the weekend. I'll be putting it on my blog. No, no, just call me. I'll blog about not calling you. But this is the important part about it. All the proceeds are going to benefit the YMCA and also Grind for Life. It's a non-profit organization and it provides financial assistance to cancer patients and their families. All the way in. What if we come hang out with you? If we go? She does not want us to. Can you tell? No. I can't tell. Mikey, will you and Woods give me the money that it would cost you to get in and then just don't come? They're asking for a $10 minimum donation. So just, you know, ante up the money. Lauren's like, but I'll tell you what. I'll ante up your guys' money if you leave me alone. I don't want to see you on Saturday. If you just leave me alone. I'll come, seriously. You should. Everyone should. Yeah, I'll call you. Call you up real good. That's right. At the end of the show on Friday, I'll give you my story, tell you my story. And the reason that I do is because I know that there are some people that are listening that can relate to it. I used to be extraordinarily insecure. Now, I can't tell you that I am 100% that I'm not insecure anymore. What I can tell you is how a lot of things have changed in my life.
When I was a kid, I was sexually abused as a kid. Now, that's tough to say as a guy, as a guy that is always really hard for me to tell you. The reason is because I have something that guys have called ego. And so it's pretty hard to tell you that. But I do because I know that there are a lot of people listening that can relate to it. And what I say is that it was kind of for me, it was like having an emotional deformity. What I mean by that is I never felt like anybody else. Always felt different my entire life. I always felt different through high school and also as I got into my 20s. Every single time I was at a party, I never felt like I perceived everyone else to feel like they were having a good time. I always felt uncomfortable. I was a guy that wanted to leave, but I knew that I couldn't because I would be thought of.
as different. But I knew I didn't fit in. That's why I always wanted to leave. You ever met the guy at the party that will leave the party and you don't even know it? Because he didn't say anything to you, he just left. That was me. Truth is, I didn't think you'd notice anyway. The reason is because that's the way that I felt about myself. All of my teen years, all into my 20s, I felt different and I felt ugly. And what I did was, in order to hide that, is I drank or I used drugs. I also was dealing with a lot of anger. Now, what I can tell you through the experience that I've had over the last 10 years is that I tried to get rid of that anger in a lot of different ways. Through Coke, methamphetamine, making myself feel better in my mind with eating disorders.
In my lifetime, I have felt desperate, hopeless, unwanted. The only thing that changed all of that was picking up the owner's manual. Now, I don't want anybody to get upset. And before I tell you about this, I want you to know that I believe anger is hurt, sadness, and fear. And so if anything that I say... makes you angry consider if one of those feelings that you're having is either hurt sadness or fear for me everything changed in 2005 i picked up my owner's manual for me that was the bible and the reason that i call it that is because i believe that it was uh it was made by the manufacturer i'm nervous right now i'm nervous because i'm telling you stuff that i don't always feel comfortable telling you
The reason is because I get a lot of anger about it. Hatred. But I tell you because it changed my life and it's my story. And I just want you to know what changed my life. I don't mean to upset you, make you angry. The reason that I tell you is because I know that there are some people right now that are listening that are dealing with addiction and depression and eating disorders and things that are affecting their life negatively. And like me, you can relate to some of the stuff that I've told you. Jesus doesn't have a website, so I give the one to my church because I love it. Northcoastchurch.com. I only give you the website because some people are looking for one. I was. I was lonely, and I was desperate. When I allowed Jesus Christ to come into my life, he changed everything. And so I want to share it with you. If you're going through any of this stuff right now, go to MikeyShow.com and type in... Well, you don't actually have to type in a keyword. There's a button right there that says Help. Just click on that button, Help.
It'll give you resources for any of the stuff I talked about. Addiction, addiction to pornography, or depression and eating disorders. Check it out. It'll really help you. At the end of the show, on Friday, I play a song that I think that you can relate to. The words to this song are something that maybe you can relate to. It's by a band called Red, and the song is called Pieces. And it sort of hits me, and when I first heard it, it hit me right where I was. And so if you're going through any of those feelings that I've talked about, this song may get you right where you are. And I urge you to go to the website and click on the help section and read more. And I love you. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Give yourselves a big round of applause in the studio. Lightly Show will be back again on Monday. We're out late. The music all day. The music.