The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/30/10

1:00have that thing happen where something pops into your head and you go you remember it and you go oh I forgot to do that yeah and it's so random you get the really random like how did I my brother wrote me an email at 10 a.m. yesterday and it said call me and he put in there you know it was no it wasn't like a bad thing or anything because he made sure to put, because he knows me, he knows I'd stress if he didn't say everything's cool. It was about something good. He said, call me, and I forgot, and I know my brother. And so when I do call, it's going to be like, oh, thought about me, huh? Yeah, thanks for remembering, pal. Yeah. Thanks for being there, dude. Appreciate it. It's not like I wasn't there for you when you were seven and you were crying that time. That or the truck. That time. And who came up to you and put his arm around you? I did. I did. It's not like that time when we were 16, and you were 16, and I was 24, and you got caught with Bartles and James at high school. And I flew you out to Arizona on my dime that I barely had any money. And I flew you out, and I introduced you to all my Sigma Chi brothers. You got to experience your first big bash with the boys. Wow.

2:24Remember that? Got to lift weights downstairs at the Sigma Chi house. Remember that, buddy? Oh my gosh. Lift weights. Remember that, dude? Yeah, thanks for the callback. Appreciate it. It's real nice. So wait, you got in trouble for taking wine coolers to school? No. Can I tell you? Yeah, I'd love to hear this. We went to Disneyland. I was 12. No, no, I'm sorry. I was 15. Went to Disneyland. Bunch of kids wanted to get wine coolers. I didn't. I didn't. Of course not. Dude, I'm telling you, I was freaked out about it. I was like, I don't think we should. And they're like, you're such a P word. P word. Yeah, for sure. And I was like, oh, boy. And so they got him. Continue. Why did you just grab his? Because it knocked over. Because Woods leaned back and was bending backwards to pick something up, and his dip cup just tilted over. Yeah, but he put some paper towel in there. You know that. So that it doesn't spill. But it could still drill. It's foolproof, of course.

3:28Oh, don't do that. He did it over his head to prove that it won't drip. Won't drip. Either way, I looked inside and it just... Yeah, Sienna looked in there. Did you hear pepper? No, what? She goes, over his faux hawk. What? It's cute. Good. I like it. Sienna looked in that cup and she goes... So we went to Disneyland. We're staying at the Disneyland Hotel. A bunch of these Yahoo 15-year-olds go shoulder tap and get some Bartles and James. Shoulder tap. Hey, man. Excuse me. Excuse me? Excuse me, mister. Can you buy us some wine coolers? Some wine coolers. Yum. Delicious. Mike's hard lemonade. And so one of the girls in the group was a Mormon and wrote it in her diary, and her Mormon mom read it and wanted to kill her. No way. And us, and told the principal all about it. And I got called into his office, and I'm sitting there. Oh, no. I'm sitting there. And this dude, I will never forget this guy. He does one of these, Woodsy. Pushes his chair back. Crosses the leg. Hands behind the head. And I'm sitting across from him. He goes, so you're drinking some wine coolers? Oh, goodness. Instantly bawling. I'm like, I didn't want to do it. I love it. Yeah. That's why you don't keep a diary.

4:56I know. None of this would have happened. I didn't want to be part of it in the first place. Middle school or high school girl doesn't. I know. I never did. Do you still have it, Pepper? Oh, yeah. You do? I selectively ripped out pages that I wanted to forget. Please bring it in and do a page a day. Yes, yes, and yes. How incredible would it be if every day we did Pepper's Diary? It's in New Jersey right now. Well, Mr. and Mrs. O'Brien, we're going to need that ASAP. Please send it. Please send it. Yeah. Don't read it. No, they'll read it first. Just send it. We'll pay for the FedEx. I'll pay for a flight out there for you, and you can go get it. It's Lauren plus every boy in my grade. How old? Fourth, fifth grade. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I got to have it. Pepper's fourth grade diary. Pepper's diary. Tales of a fourth grade pepper. Tales of a fourth grade pepper. I found one page in there, and I was like, I hate my sister so much. Oh, please send it. With a bunch of O's. Oh, Mr. and Mrs. O'Brien, if you're listening on the intranet, please send that diary. ASAP. Where would it be in a box in the garage? Yeah, they're actually getting ready to move, so it's in, like, Lauren's stuff.

6:14Box. That's fantastic. Maybe just send the whole box. Yeah. Yeah. Please. For sure. It'd be too heavy with all my trophies in it, though. Really? Is that right? Is that right? Is that right? You're listening to The Mikey Show, where we make things happen in the morning. That's a brilliant, brilliant idea. Absolutely. Well said. You bet it is. 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. My name's Mike, and I go by the name Mikey. And it's very sophomoric. Definitely a plebeian name. Odds and farmer. Hey, Baylor. Gravedigger. Gravedigger. This is such a gravedigging name. Mikey. Anyway, I'm 39, and I'll be 40 in two months. It's birthday time. I know. Santa's going to be 25 in just a little bit. And Woodsy is our, he is our sports guy and our man about town. By man about town, you mean man about apartment? Then yes, then I'll be your guy. That's right. Man about complex. Man about complex. Man about pork chop. Man about pork chop. He's 34. Pepper O'Brien is the blonde sitting next to me to my right.

7:39And she is 29 years of age. She has blonde hair. And the auburn hair girl over here that's wearing the leopard print. I am feeling feisty today. Almost wore my leopard print today. Sienna and I are often twins. Yes, we are. That's right. Great minds think alike, you know. That's right. She is 24 but not for long. I know. About to turn 25. I'm one of those people that... make sure everyone knows it's my birthday. Weird. I'm like, by the way, it's my birthday on Saturday. You are female, aren't you? Is this birthday week? I actually texted Todd yesterday. We were talking about donuts, or I was talking about donuts, Yum Yum Donuts. I said, that's all I want for my birthday are Yum Yum Donuts. You're lucky, Todd. He's like, what is wrong with you? Oh, man. And remember the heartbreaking story that La Jolla doesn't have any donut shops. La Jolla doesn't have a single donut shop. Man. Not okay. It's so sad. It is. We should do a fundraiser. You have seals, but no donuts. Nope, no donuts. And Jay is our producer. He is 46, and he does not look it. He looks 32. That's right. Thank you. So if you haven't heard, big breaking news today. Ricky Martin is gay. What?

9:00Shocking. In other news, the sun came up. Yep. Today's Tuesday. Yes, in other news, it's Tuesday again. Today ends in a Y. No, honestly, I didn't, like, I know that the big popular phrase today is going to be, well, duh. Honestly, I didn't necessarily think. It wasn't a shoo-in. It's so popular for everybody to say, of course he's gay, because the music was kind of like this. But have you ever watched his videos? There's sexy time. Have you ever seen him on the beach in a throng with another dude? You haven't? I have. I haven't. Yeah. I have not. You haven't seen those pictures? Good Lord. They were out last year and it's like him cavorting in a throng. Yeah. What is a throng? It's a male thong. A male thong. He wasn't wearing a throng. 100%. Why do they call it a throng? I don't know. We talked about it yesterday, I think. I want to find the pictures, though. Yeah, these on-the-beach cavorting with some dude. Weird. Well, honestly, here's my thoughts of Ricky Martin. I'm like, good-looking guy. Yeah, no straight guy is that good-looking. You know that.

10:07Well, I used to see him, and I thought, he's just a good-looking dude. I bet he's got lots of girlfriends, you know? I like to compare him with, like, Enrique Iglesias. Yeah. Like, he's really hot, too, but he's straight, and we would have guessed that he was gay. Right. We would have? We would have. It's that Latin love. It's the Latin. Yeah. There's a lot of flair. Like you. You're Latin. I'm not Latin. Are you not? No. I thought you were Latin. No, I'm Mexican. I've told you that. You know I'm Mexican. I thought you were Latin. No. Your Mexicanness is what defines you. I know that. No, what is Ricky? He's Latin. Who knows? Puerto Rican, I think. He's from Latin? Colombia? Don't say Puerto Rican. I think he's from Puerto Rico. Don't say Puerto Rican. I believe you're right. It's bad. It's not. You can't say Puerto Rican on the radio. Woods and Pepper are shimmying the shoulders. He made this announcement yesterday on his website, rickymartinmusic.com. Oh, I thought it was the fan one that I go to, liveinlavitaloca.org. .gov. .gov. He actually said that it's his two sons, they just turned two in August, inspired him to be true to himself. Really? Yeah, which is cool. That's good. Not that gay. He has little twin babies.

11:34He's apparently not that gay. He adopted. It's probably a good weight off his shoulders. Yeah. Way to blog about it. He blogged about it? Yeah, he probably figures it would reach the most people without having to get a barrage of questions or protesters or whatever. He's going to get them. He said, I am proud to say that I'm a fortunate homosexual man. That's quite a statement. Stop traffic, dude. Yeah. Wouldn't it be unfortunate, though, if you blogged about that and nothing happened? People are like, oh, okay. So the next day... He's like refreshing his inbox. He's like, no one knows this? You guys, this is groundbreaking news. I'm telling you, I just put it on there. I know it's here. I got to hear refresh, but I... Oh my goodness. That's one of the greatest things I've ever heard. Jorge, Jorge. I keep hearing refresh, but nothing is happening yet.

12:30Just keeps getting, like, Bed Bath & Beyond coupon. Barnes & Noble offers. It's another 20% off, but I cannot see if anybody said, are you there? Wow. Poor guy. You'd be the worst, right? How do you think he slept last night? I know it. Oh, my goodness. Nobody care. Everyone was talking about it on the news. It was everywhere yesterday. Breaking news. Goes on Facebook in all caps. I said, I am gay. I am gay. I am gay. Okay, maybe you don't hear the first time. I'm a homosexual man. I'm a homosexual man. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm proud to say. I'm proud to say. I'm gay. I'm a homosexual man. I'm a fortunate homosexual man. I'm a fortunate homosexual man. Scarface. I am very blessed to be who I am. Yes, please. Can somebody like this? Somebody poke me. Somebody poke me. Is anybody out there? I got no pokes. I got no pokes. I got no likes. Do people still poke on Facebook? No tweets. No tweet. No reply.

13:50No text. No text. There's no text. There's no reply. No refresh on my inbox. He's calling his cell phone provider. He's like, I don't know if my service is working. Can I pay my bill? I pay my bill. Oh, dude. Please. Is there anybody out there? That's the worst. Well, I am surprised. Come on. Sorry. I'm not surprised, but I'm not not surprised. All right, I'm not surprised. Yeah, dude. But his videos are sexy with women. Gay guys are always sexy. You know who else's videos were sexy? How come gay guys are always, like, real handsome dudes? Tell me about it. You know who else's videos were real sexy? George Michael. Yeah, that's true. Hold on. Stop. Stop down. Stop down. Smile. Look. Smile. Smile. Smile. There it is. Smile. Look. Where is it? Take a picture. Take a picture. Oh, you got rid of it. It was a piece of kombucha. It's in the middle. It's in the middle. Is it? Yes. She actually has what looks like pepper in her teeth. It's not pepper. I didn't have pepper this morning. It's mushroom flakes from her breakfast. Silly. Oh, that is so funny. Is it gone? Yeah, it's gone. No, it's still in the middle. Easy, Pep. It's fantastic. She's got a little pep in her step today. That's right.

15:20That was great. You're just tuning in. Ricky Martin is gay. Cannot believe it. Do you think that there are still women that are young enough to be bummed? No. He's been out of the scene for years. Every woman that would care has eight kids now. Every woman that cares is a grandmother. Yeah, they've moved on to Edward Cullen. Yeah. It's not a big deal. Maybe Justin Bieber. Yeah, Justin Bieber. This is really creepy because he's like 14. It's true. So there you go. This is a bad story. Yeah. And I'll probably talk to my brother about this later. Christian warrior militia. Yep. What is this all about? If you haven't heard about this, this was huge breaking news yesterday. All over all the websites, nine people.

16:24were arrested. They're in this militia group. Now I'm talking, these are husbands, wives, children in this group all together. And they had a plot. Their group name, their militia name is Hatari. And they have a website, Hatari.com. Sounds like Atari. Atari, yeah, but with an H. And they had a plot to kill police. Now what they wanted to do was, they were based in Ohio. They were based, I mean, all over the place, in numerous different states, Indiana, Michigan. And they wanted to kill a certain police officer in April. And their plan was to go to the funeral, hide outside the funeral where there's a lot of other police enforcement, law enforcement, big deal people at the funeral. And they were going to like blow up a van, like weapons of mass destruction to kill all the policemen that are going to be at this funeral. Yeah. And they were going to do this to numerous different officers and just keep doing it over and over again. Now, the crazy thing is, is people say that they would have got away with it. if they hadn't have put all of the information on their website. Dodos. They put their plan to kill on Hatari.com, and it was discovered, and obviously everyone's been arrested. It took a while to get the last person, but they just got him last night, a younger boy. Not boy, but, like, 18-year-old. And, yeah, I mean, just crazy stuff. Well, and here's the, you know, the sad part about it is that the word Christian has to be associated with it in the same way.

17:49that the dudes that flew the airplanes into the buildings, people that are Islamic have to be associated with it. Exactly. Because what you have is nut jobs. In both cases, it's nut jobs. Yeah, what it says right on their website, hetari.com, it says, preparing for the end-time battles to keep the testimony of Jesus Christ alive. Yeah, nuts. What was their vendetta against the police? Yeah, what was the bid, you know? No, I mean, that's what they're all figuring out. They've been arrested, you know, or trying to figure out. But they literally posted in detail, like, the weapons of mass destruction they were going to use to blow up, you know, all of these officers. They've been charged with sedacious conspiracy, attempted use of weapons of mass destruction, teaching the use of explosive materials, and possessing a firearm during a crime of violence. God, dude. Yeah. So, A, they're nuts. B, they're monsters. And, uh... Three, they're sick. And four, they're stupid, but lucky for us that they were so stupid to post it on their website. Awful. I mean, and their pictures are all up online and stuff. Yeah, where are they from? They're from different places, Michigan, Ohio, Indiana. The Big Ten. And like I said, some of these people, it was a husband and a wife and their son, you know, in this group. Awful. This is an interesting story.

19:12There's overabundance of trash in a very particular part, in two very particular parts of the county. Now, does this mean, Sienna, that of all parts of the county, these two places produce more garbage than anybody else? I would almost say in California, too, because what they say is the average person in San Diego produces seven and a half pounds of trash every day. Whoa. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Let's stop there. The average person? Yep. You guys, every day, I've actually thought about this before. I've thought about what we produce garbage-wise every day because there's so many of us. I'm like, what do we do with it? Like, what do we do with it? I guess we put it in landfills, I guess. Well, we recycle as much as we can. The Miramar landfill is one of the big ones. It has 950,000 tons of trash, which are buried there every year, and they're saying it's going to run out of space by 2019. Because, I mean, they can only bury, you know, so much. And basically what I was saying was there's seven and a half pounds of trash each person produces every single day in San Diego, which is one pound more than the average Californian. Really? So in San Diego, we produce more trash than the average Californian. And in these two areas alone, ridiculous amounts of trash. And the two areas are Del Mar and Coronado. Really? Now, there's reason for this, people think, is because the Del Mar has the Del Mar Fair.

20:39And that brings in so much trash, which also, you know, it gets mixed in. Okay. And because they're putting it all on like a yearly average. Yeah, it skews the average. So much garbage comes into the fair that it kind of messes it all up. Yeah. And the track, too. Yeah. And the track. And in Coronado, they have so many visitors that go to the Navy base, which skews their average. Okay. But still, they're saying that, oh, where is the number? That's a lot. A lot. We're going to be living on garbage. It says that in Coronado, it came in at 14 pounds per person every day. Double. Del Mar, 18 pounds. Get out. Come on. 18 pounds. That's a lot of garbage. Yeah. It's garbage. Crazy. It's scary. I know. 570-1949 or text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. Another Steeler is in trouble. Oh, dear. Oh, yeah. The Steelers cannot stay out of the news. This one threw a glass in someone's face at a nightclub. That's a good move. I'm going to tell you who it is. That's always smart. And this is interesting. This was in a men's magazine. Four signs that he's hiding something. Ooh, salacious. I want to know. I want to know. Jay's picking the music today. Arctic Monkeys. Got that stuff coming up for you next.

22:21Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Now, back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. I got a question for you ladies. Sienna and Pepper. What's up? Were you a hotter, cooler chick if you drove a Cabriolet or a brand new? Volkswagen Bug with the flower on the dashboard. I don't think those were around yet. These were not in our time. They weren't in your time? It was cool to drive a BMW, I think. Holy cow, LJ. Easy. For us, it was the Jetta. The hot girls drove the Jetta. Not the new, rounded, the old square ones. When I was in high school, it was a prelude. Really? Remember the prelude? Yeah. The hot girls drove preludes.

23:33A really hot girl had a cabriolet. Yeah, see, I was 88. And so a hot girl drove a Volkswagen white, a white Volkswagen cabriolet convertible. That stood the test of time through when I graduated high school, which was 99. Yeah. I think they stuck around and, like, were pretty cool. I said that. He said when I moved out to San Diego, out to California in 2003. Yeah. And I said. I'm going to go to California. I'm going to get a cab. Oh, my God. Wow. I think all the guys wanted to drive Jeeps. Yeah, for sure. The Wranglers. I had my mom's Volvo. Yeah. I had a Geostorm. And then a hot Mustang. Man, Sienna, I can't believe that the hot girls were driving the Beamers in LJ. I mean, I guess it makes sense. I mean, not all. Not all of them. There were definitely a bunch that had some, though. That's some pretty big time stuff. And the guys had like the F-150s, like the new ones. The Tahoe. Tahoe. I had a rusted out Toyota pickup. Rusted out, man. I mean, that's all I could drive. One of my friends had this like pimped out Escalade when he turned 16. I was like, what is this? Who did that? That's pretty nice.

24:50That's like an episode of Sweet 16. I know. 100%. That's exactly what it was. Oh, my gosh. By the way, we're going to be doing Dude, You're Dumb. So if you have one, Dude, You're Dumb is that guy. It's the best way to describe it. Which one? That dude that does that in the fast lane or the slow lane. Or the guy that knocks over a giant thing of dog food and walks away from it, leaving me to pick it up on my hands and knees. Dude, you're dumb. Like what happened to me this weekend. That's right. The guy at the grocery store, when there's a long line behind him, he decides it's a good idea to write a check. Oh, yeah. The check guy. Lotto guy. Oh. Lotto. Here, I'm going to do a little mix here. You ready? Yeah, mix it up. Word dance, boy. There you go. I love that kid. I know. Can we have him in on a Friday? Seriously. Is it a him or a her? I don't even know. I think it's a him. It's a little boy. When they're little, it's hard because they have high voices. The NFL draft starts April 22nd. Widely reported that Sam Bradford's going to be the number one pick, the quarterback out of OU. What's the matter, pal? I was hearing audio coming through Jay's thing. Well, he had his pro day yesterday, and he looked really good. Maybe you guys remember he busted his shoulder. He was out a lot last year. They weren't sure if he was going to be the guy, but through 63 passes, flawless yesterday. Really? Yeah, they said he was money. Smart kid. He aced his wonder leg.

26:22It's pretty much a no-brainer. Wonderlick. For those of you that don't know what the Wonderlick is. No idea. Every college player that's coming into the NFL, they have to take this thing called the Wonderlick test. The Wonderlick. The Wonderlick test. Yeah, it's basically, I mean, I took it. You did? I did. I took it online. No way. Bark Malman and I were fighting about, I was making fun of Vince Young because he got like a three on it. Yeah, that's right. Which is like, you know, dude. One of the monkeys at the zoo could get a three, literally. And so we took it online, and we both, of course, aced it. I mean, it's ridiculously easy. What kind of test is it? Johnny has five quarters. He gives two quarters away. How many quarters does Johnny have? I mean, it's not that difficult. But Bradford aced his. He's a smart kid. He's got a good head and a good arm. Here he is talking about his workout. Cut one. I've had to listen to questions about my shoulder. I've had to listen to questions about my decision I made last year to stay in school. I knew today was going to be the first time that anyone's seen me throw since I got hurt. I put a lot of pressure on myself to come out here and show everyone that I'm still the same player I was and that my arm, it's back to normal. I felt like I did that today. I bet I would not ace the Wunderlich test. I bet you'd do fine. I bet you I wouldn't. We'll try it. Maybe we try it. I'll tell you this. As soon as I hear somebody say a train is traveling this fast, I'm done.

27:39I can't do that. I can't do that stuff. I'm not good at no problem. What about you, Pepper? Yeah. You good at that stuff? Yeah. She'd be fine, dude. I bet she'd kill it. I'm going to tell you guys in a minute about this stealer in trouble. But first, the Chargers made it official. And have signed, what the hell is his name? Nathan Basher. Nathan Basher. Yeah, yeah. To a two-year deal. Four and a half million bucks. So, oh man, I hope it works out. But the good thing is, he'll be reunited with Ron Rivera, who's the D coordinator. And Steve Wilkes, who's a secondary coach. And he'll be reunited with Quentin Jammer, who he played with at UT. Is this the DB you talked about yesterday? Oh, okay. He's the DB. He's quick. Yeah, he's quick. He's got good hands and should be a good pickup, man, as long as he stays healthy. We've spoken a lot about Donovan McNabb and where he's going to end up. It looks like the Raiders are going to be really the front runners for him if he'll go there. But they said everything's in place. They've got the draft pick that the Eagles want. They've got the money to pay him. And they said, you know, hey, it's a good fit. Jamarcus Russell needs some help. He needs a mentor. Rumor is that guy checked into workouts at 290 pounds. Who? Jamarcus Russell.

28:47What? 290 pounds. I read it yesterday. 290. Dude, that guy is just, he is the epitome of not taking it seriously. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. The word with that guy is that he doesn't get into the film room. He doesn't want, he doesn't care. He doesn't care. Oh, my dad was flipping out because they used to, I went to high school with Jeff Garcia. And my dad is a big fan. I'm a big fan. And they had him and let him go. And they kept Jamarcus Russell. And my dad was like, How could they keep DeMarcus Russell if Jeff could step in there right now? You're telling me he's not as good. Dad, take it easy. It's the Raiders. What do you expect? I hope he doesn't go to the Raiders. I thought you didn't care where he goes. Well, no, I do. I care where he goes. I don't want him to go to the team that I hate the most. Well, it'd be worse if he went to the Cowboys. Yeah, Pepper's an Eagles fan. Watch out. Santonio Holmes is the stealer that is in trouble. He's being sued by a woman who says he hit her in the face with a glass. Oh, my goodness. Are you kidding me? Yeah, he was sitting. They were sitting at Rain Nightclub VIP. Weird. And allegedly, he grabbed her face and threw a glass at her. Then he tried to pay her off. And she wasn't having any of it, man. Here's the deal. She's seeking $15,000 in damages. Get out your checkbook, dude. Write the check. You know what I mean? $15,000? $15,000. That's it.

30:11Just write her a check and get it over with. Whenever we hear about stuff like this, it's like $18 million in damages. She wants $15,000. Yeah, $15,000. Write the check. Don't you think if he didn't write the check, maybe there's something weird about the story? I mean, wouldn't that just be pocket change to anyone? Maybe he's like, okay, I didn't do that. I'm not going to pay her. It's one of those situations we talk about all the time. We've been there. We've all been there. Wrong place, wrong time. Yeah. You know, use your head. Keep your head about you. Do the right thing. But, you know, the Steelers have been in the news lately for a lot of the wrong reasons. And finally, guys, a little baseball news for you to wrap it up. President Obama will throw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals' home opener. This is the 100th anniversary of a presidential pitch to start the season. William Howard Taft and Larry King first did it in 1910. They were together. And also the Padres have named newly acquired pitcher John Garland their opening day starter, and that is Woods on Sport. Do you think Obama will wear mom jeans again? I will. Remember that? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. What was that for? I think it was like the All-Star game. He was throwing a first pitch. I think it was the first pitch at the White Sox. Yeah. I think it was the White Sox game because he had a White Sox jacket on. He's going to walk out in some designer jeans. Some DJs. Yeah.

31:26Full stylist for this one. Let the kid take care of him. Get him some DJs. Make it right. That's the thing. I was asking that question before. When does it happen? Because Sienna is absolutely right. She does mom jeans. Dads. Okay. Just picture every one of our dads. Yeah. Okay. Every one of our dads wears the very, very light blue. Very light blue. Very, very, very light blue. Straight leg. Straight leg jeans. Skinny. Skinny. Pulled up. Way high. Like the crotch. has to like actually meet the crotch. Yeah. Which means that the waist comes above the belly button. Right. My dad can't do that. He's got the belly going. It's got to be down low. Okay. He's got the black Levi's. Okay. Yeah, the bleens. The bleens. He wears the black Levi's. Black jeans. Black jeans. Bleens. But otherwise, the jeans are up really high, right? Light blue denim. Light blue denim. Probably a very like brown woven belt. The rope belt. The rope belt. The rope belt. Right? Or my dad is a big player with Brighton. Do you remember Brighton? Yes. The big, like, it's not a silver belt buckle, but it's got, it's almost like silver bedazzles. Right. I'm like. Right. The silver tip. Yes. Yeah. Really? Well, here's what I wonder. Come on, dude. Here's what I wonder. Here's what I wonder about the high jeans on the dads. Every one of our dads.

32:52There was a day where it didn't happen. And then the next day it happened. What happened overnight? I don't know. But, you know, even weirder. You know what I mean? Because there was one day that it wasn't there. He wakes up and he's like, you know what? You know what? I'm out. I don't care. Yeah. You know what? I want that thing. I want the jean crotch in my crotch. In my crotch. And I don't care. I want the rope belt. I want the rope belt. You know what's weirder? I'll tell you, though. It's weirder to see. An older dude in DJs. It's weird. It's real. My dad bought some lucky jeans. Okay. I had a surprise party for Jamie. He showed up and he had like a black V-neck on and these DJs on. And I was like, oh my God, where is my dad? It was weird. It was weird, but kind of cool. Not that cool. But when's the age that you can stop wearing that? I don't know. I will always wear DJs. So you'll be the old guy. I will be the old creep. Well, we all know that. I think every dad could be like Brett Favre and wear jeans that look cool, that look normal. Yeah, like Wranglers. Yeah, I mean, or just normally adjusted. They don't have to come up like that. They don't have to hug your piece. Yes, they don't. My dad hasn't gotten to that point yet. How old's your dad?

34:0756. Yeah, but his name's also Keith Richards for real. That's true. He wears leather pants. Exactly. No. The black jeans are his favorite. Bleens will get you. The bleens. The bleens will get you. Okay, so four signs that he's hiding something. Do you have this? No, I think Jay has this. See? Nobody listens to the kid ever, dude. This is why I said I don't want it here. Sorry. Nobody listens to the kid. Why do I think that Mike has it? Yeah, I think you put it in your paper. Merce. Did I? I gave it to her. She didn't want it. No, he said he would keep it. He said he would keep it. There it is. He said he would keep it. There we go. So this is from a... Cosmo? This is from a dude magazine. No. Oh, no, it isn't. It's Woods. You know it's a chick magazine. Dude, my wife left it at the house. Is that right? Yeah. His throat gets dry. He's hiding something. He's hiding something if his throat gets dry. Okay, so now it's taken a completely... I got a completely new thing with this now. I do too. I thought it was like hiding a phone number on a piece of paper or something. Like hiding Easter eggs? Yeah. He's hiding Easter eggs. And the other thing about it is that it says that this is from an actual page torn out of Cosmopolitan magazine. You know what that tells me? What? This is what women think. Yes. Well, you guys tell us if it's right. Yeah, we'll tell them if it's right. Who's the author? Man or woman? Mark Twain.

35:38Yeah, Mark Twain is the author. Have you heard of Mark? Mark Twain. Doesn't say. All I know is Cosmo, so it's what women think. His throat gets dry. Keeping something from you makes him nervous, and his body actually goes into freak-out mode. When a secret is big enough that he's worried he may lose something important, if it's revealed, research shows that his esophagus muscles will start to constrict, causing his throat to dry up. I buy it. That happens to me all the time, though. Because you're shady. No, I'm not. Because as a dude, you're trying to hide something. Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. Number two, he wants more sex. Yes, maybe he's just extra into it, or you're looking extra hot. But a sudden surge in his sexual appetite can also be a sign that something's awry. I would think it's the opposite if he didn't want it. You're like, hey, wait a minute here, buddy. Well, and you've heard that too. So way to turn something that could be positive into something negative. You never know, pal. Really? Girls are known for that, turning something positive into something negative. Yeah, for sure. You know this. Four signs that he's hiding something. He gives too many details. Oh, yeah, that's true. I agree with that one. Like he's over trying to cover something up.

37:03What if he gives details because he doesn't care about them and it doesn't matter? Well, if he's not known for doing stuff like that. Most guys are not really detail-oriented. No, we're not. We're like, yeah, I got a beer. We're coming home later. Yeah, exactly. You might be able to sum all these up with saying he's acting different. But she's telling you the specifics. Okay. And in terms of he gives too many details. It says, don't be fooled by a guy who offers up tons of minor bits of information about where he's been. That's my bit. And what he's been doing. Is it? What does it mean? I don't hide anything anymore. What do you mean, Pepper? He offers up minor bits of information. Example. Okay, example. Ready? Ask me, where are you and Mikey going later? Woods. Where are you and Mikey going later? So we're dating. You and I are dating. And I would say, oh, we're going to go get lunch. Probably like 11, 1130. We're going to go to Hodad's. You ever had Hodad's? The best burger, man. They have these french fries, these onion rings. They're amazing. Mikey's actually going to pick me up. My car is going to be here at the office. So he'll have to bring me back to my car after. But isn't that the same thing as number three? What was number three? He wants more sex? No, no, no, no. That's the way he remembers. That is number three. That is number three. So it is the same thing as number three.

38:20I want you to interact with him. That's the bit. That's the guy's bit. I've been that guy before. I want to see you as Pepper and how you would question. Because I bet you could get to the bottom of it. Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me? Even as you were going through the exercise, there came a point where her eye actually kind of went. It glinted. Yeah. Like, really? My grandfather was a detective. And it's in the blood. It seriously is. Jamie's stepdad, Ray, was a detective. So anytime I lied about anything, I got caught. Anything. I mean, it could be minor. She'd be like, looking at me, I'm like, oh, God. She puts, you know, finger on my pole. Yeah, exactly. Why are you lying, pal? You got beads of sweat on your forehead. That's why I call her Magnum P.I. Pulled out a lie detector. Did your eyes just shift to the left? She knows that bit. You just went down and left. I think you're lying. Yeah, you just went down and left. Oh, my God. It's crazy. My new bit is just 100% honesty. That's right. That's a great bit. That's a good bit. Always tell the truth. It's the easiest thing to remember. I mean, seriously. You don't have to think about it. Fair enough. Number four, his hands go into his pockets. I kind of agree with that one. Yeah. Play close attention to what he does with his hands if you're sensing he's concealing something. What about the arm cross?

39:44Under the armpits. Weird. That's weird. Yeah. How about he's a creeper? Stop. He's just creeping me out. That's what I would say about that. Maybe like this. Whoa. Oh, yeah. My arm is hurt. Can you help me put this couch into my van? There's nothing in my basement. Yeah. I don't have anything. Well, my hands are under my armpits. Don't mind that moth flying around. Yeah. Is your name Starling? Are you looking for Frederica Bimmel? Great big fat person. Yes, you're looking great big fat person. Oh, wait. Oh, wait. You want to come in and get a cup of coffee? This is weird, putting his hands in his pockets. Well, you don't lie.

40:41You haven't lied in years. What is that? I mean, what are you putting your hands in your pockets? What is that? What's wrong with that, though? Yeah, what's wrong with putting your hands in your pockets? Where else are you supposed to put them? Yeah, yeah. I never know where to put my hands. What's it like? I can't fit my hands in my pockets. His jeans are so tight. Yeah, they are not. Let's see. Custom made. That's right. 570-1949 or 949-MIKEY. at gmail.com if you would like to text us. Let's see. Yes, me, I think it's goofy. A bunch of people are texting in, by the way, saying that the hot girl car was the V-Dub. Oh, yeah? What's the V-Dub? VW. The Bug. Oh, which one, though? The Volkswagen. It doesn't matter, man. Yeah. Any Volkswagen, really. Yeah. Jetta. What about a guy that drives a Jetta? No. I'm not sure about him. Zero percent. Not sure about that guy. Sorry, guys. If you do, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's totally fine if you drive a Jetta. I'm not trying to... Ricky Martin, thank you. Thank you. It's cool if you like dudes and you drive a Jetta. It's not a big deal. I knew a guy that drove a Jetta. I did, too. You did? Yeah. I mean, it's a nice-looking car, but it's not for dudes. He wasn't... He was not gay. He was straight, but... But you gave him a hard time, right? Oh, yeah. Sure.

42:04Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, you're his friend. You got it. Hey, nice Jetta, bro. My girlfriend in college drove a Cabriolet, and I didn't have a car when I lived in Chicago, so I would take her car with the top down and, like, drive around in it and drive with, like, blinders on. Oh, yeah. Like, please don't look at me. Please don't look at me. Yeah. You felt cool. I didn't. Hey, the flower that comes in the dashboard of the Volkswagen Bug. Hippies. Is that an option or does it come in every one? I think it comes in every one. So then Volkswagen has made a solid decision. We will only sell this vehicle. To gay men and women? Is that it? There's a flower on the dashboard? Yeah. Haven't you seen the plastic flower on the dashboard? It's like a plastic flower, right? It has a little flower pot. Like, it's for you to put a flower in. No. Yes. Are you sure? Yes, my friend has one. She switches up the flower. I always see the flower. It always looks the same, the flower. No. Maybe it comes with a fake one stuffed in there and it's up to you to put real ones in it. Yeah, because my friend puts real in there. Who the hell wants real flowers in there? Who does it? It makes your car smell good. So does an air freshener.

43:07Yeah. But it's pleasant. So does new car smell at the car wash. It's a cool option. It's not pleasant. Yes, it is. Why don't you just hang some macrame in the back of your car, too? What's macrame? A little hanging potted plant. I don't know what macrame is. You don't know what macrame is? Is that that rope that hangs plants? It's like yarn. You don't know what... Of all people on the show to not know what macrame is. Have you ever seen three... Yeah, it's what your handbag is made of. Yeah, exactly. My handbag is made out of recycled kimonos, okay? Write that down. Write that down. Write that down. Yes, write it down. By the way, that's a true statement. Absolutely it is. I was hiking through Asia, and I happened upon a pile of kimonos. And I thought... Why leave the pile? Why not knit a bag? Why leave the pile? Well, being instructed on Feng Shui when I was staying in the island of Fiji, I bought this from a street peasant. I bartered for it. I gave him a wheat stalk. Yes. You get bags like that at World Market or Costco. Well, it's actually made by Lucky Brand Jeans. I don't know the validity of it.

44:17No, it was made in Singapore by a four-year-old. Yeah. So how do you feel about that? Better not be, right? Oh, this is a good choice, Jay. Oh, yeah. Jay, yeah, dude, yeah. Reminds me when I was a little kid. That's good stuff. Crank up the 280Z, baby. Tom Tom Girl and the movie film guy looked really sad. They did. They're in the hallway right now and they looked really sad. Aww. So we'll talk to them in just a second and find out why the long face. In just a second, we'll all bear Let's see those pipes. My guitar. This is the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. United States 2010 Census Forums will be arriving by mail at homes this March. And if you've moved in with a friend, loved one, or relative due to circumstances beyond your control, we're counting on you to make sure you're counted as part of the household you're living with. The 2010 Census provides benefits that really hit home, like job training.

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48:16It's a win-win. Attention to all Americans struggling with medical bills and credit card debt. Due to the economic crisis, a program approved by the United States government now may eliminate 100% of your medical bills and credit card debt entirely. This program is now available to the general public through the Chapter 7 Federal Bankruptcy Act and here to offer Americans a fresh start during these hard economic times. We have one goal in mind with this program, and that is to allow Americans to keep their homes, cars, and personal property while eliminating 100% of your debts for good. For more information and to see if you qualify for this government-approved program, call the American Bankruptcy Hotline today, 800-304-0661. Over 1.5 million Americans are expected to take advantage of this opportunity this year alone. While the economy is getting worse and worse, there is no better time than now to file bankruptcy on your debts and walk away from 100% of it for good through this program. For more information, call America's Bankruptcy Hotline now. 800-304-0661. 800-304-0661. Again, that's 800-304-0661. Suffering from high interest rates on your credit cards, barely able to make just the minimum payments on your debts? We here at the Bankruptcy Law Center can help. Call 1-800-718-9688.

49:27Or go to our website at GetOutOfDebtSanDiego.com. You can file for a bankruptcy and still keep your home and your cars. You can erase your second mortgage and stop the foreclosure process. Most people think bankruptcy destroys your credit, yet many people actually have better credit after they file. Call the Bankruptcy Law Center to set up a free consultation with a lawyer today at 1-800-718-9688. Don't get scammed by those so-called debt consolidation and debt settlement companies. Debt settlement ruins your credit. Debt settlement can also leave you with a huge tax bill, and many people end up being garnished by their creditors. When you're dealing with real debt, you need real help from experienced lawyers. Call 1-800-718-9688. 1-800-718-9688. Or go to our website, GetOutOfDebtSanDiego.com. Welcome to the REI Member Rewards event. Can I help you? Well, I'm looking for a spacious, lightweight... REI half-dome tent with DAC featherlight poles? Yeah. But I'm also looking for a windproof, stretchable... Ultralight nylon hiking jacket? Yes. And a pair of... REI Sahara pants. You're good. We know what you need because we know what you love. Come to the REI Member Rewards event. Members get 20% off one full price item. Exclusions apply. Not a member? It's the perfect time to join. REI. Find out. Hurry into the REI...

50:44member rewards event going on now. REI. Find out. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by SeaWorld. Enjoy extended hours and special nighttime shows at SeaWorld during spring and tonight. And relive your favorite Shamu splashing moments whenever you like with a fun card. Pay for a day. Come back all year. We go to some debris. This is 15 northbound at Pomerado Road. It's a... Iron Gate in between the middle lanes. Watch out for that. 15 South, then at Carroll Canyon Road, still the chain hanging from the overpass. It looks like it's already broken. A few windshields. Drive carefully there. Avoid those right lanes. Traffic is also brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Wawanisa Insurance, better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto, home, or condo. Call 877-WA-WANESA or go to wawanisaus.com. Rate shopping can pay off. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9.

51:46KBCT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. One of my favorites. Greatest. Mikey Show is myself, our boy Woods, Pepper O'Brien, Sienna, and Jay. Our phone over here is 570-1949. And if you want, you can text us. Our text is 949mikey at gmail.com. So we got some pretty interesting news today. There's a lot of interesting things happening. Sienna, tell us about this dude in Pennsylvania that was trying to resuscitate roadkill. How do I even go into this? I know it.

53:34Well, it's this Pennsylvania man. He was charged with public drunkenness after trying to resuscitate a road-killed possum. Witnesses say that they did see him trying to revive the animal. However, they're not sure what exact manner of resuscitation he was trying to use. So, yeah, he was charged after driving on the scene and DUI and, you know, obviously doing something bad with a possum. I wonder what that resuscitation of roadkill 911 call. may have sounded like... 911, what's your emergency? Oh, my God. You better fight, soldier. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. I'm trying to save this animal's life. Breathe. Breathe. Good Lord. I'm trying to save this animal's life. What kind of animal are we talking about? It's a duck. A duck? It's a duck. What happened to the duck? One compression, two compression, three compression.

54:36I'm trying to breathe life back into it. Why are you calling 911, sir? You've never given up on anything in your life. Now fight. Why are you calling 911? What did you say to me? Why are you calling 911? Because I need help. Dude, this is for bad stuff. I know it. I know it. I'm trying to breathe life into it. Stop. Well. Hang on a second. Breathe. Breathe. He's coming back. He's coming back. I see the life coming back into him right now. Where did you find this duck? What did you say? Where did you find this duck? On the side of the road, you idiot. Yes. Yes, but he's coming back. He's come back. Here he is right now. Let me talk to the duck. Let me let you talk to him. Hello? Is this the duck? Are you okay? I'm okay. Hey, let me get your information. And hold on. What is your name? What is it, Donald? Okay. Okay. And what is your last name? Okay. Are you good or do I need to send anybody out there? You're alive, yeah.

56:07Great. Do I need to send anybody out there? You're okay? Let me talk to the clown that was on the phone before. The clown? Yeah, so everything's good. I don't need to send anybody out? Yeah, we're good, man. Great. Thanks for wasting my time. I'll talk to you later. All right, bye. Bye-bye. It's great. It's wonderful. It's just absolutely wonderful. I love how the guy didn't put up a fight. No. The 911 operator said, thanks for wasting my time. He's like, okay. Thanks for wasting my time. Yeah, no problem. He's like, yeah. I'm going to talk to the clown. I'm a jerk. Did you guys know that Sienna is going to be entering the world of competitive wiener dog racing? I'm going to be. Wait. Stop. traffic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What? I have the fastest wiener dog on the planet. Let me read you from her recap email and I quote, Todd and I, her husband, Todd and I have officially decided to enter our dog zipper into the wiener dog races. Yeah. We are starting training this week. Wow. How do you train? I don't know. We just run. You run the dog.

57:28Wow. The wiener dog. Because we've heard of it before. And so last night, Todd and I got on YouTube and started watching wiener dog races. Right. And it's hilarious. And they put them. It's like a little miniature horse race. They put them in the cages. They open the cage. I'm in. And they run to their owner. How great is that? I'm there. I'm great. They do it at Qualcomm. Oh, my gosh. I'm there. I will be there. Oh, I will be there to support you and Zipper. Zipper is so vast. Can I place bets on it? Of course. Oh, my gosh. It's only wiener dog? Yeah, it's a wiener dog races. Oh, my God. You get your... It's great. At the end, you know, like when you... Yeah, exactly. Ah, man. Throw your ticket up in the air. I want Zipper to have a trophy. She deserves one. She's the fastest dog out there. I'll tell you, it's... Dude, dogs... Like, we do that with Jamie. I'll put Jamie 100 yards away, and I'll hold Penny in my hand, and she'll be doing her legs like this. I'll put her down, and she is like a rocket. Yeah. Oh, my God. Straight for her. Wiener dogs are particularly fast? I don't think so. I think they're just funny to look at. Yeah. I have a long-haired wiener dog, and she's eight months, and you can't catch her. When you're outside playing, she'll have a bone, and you try to get it from her, and she's like, I mean, I've never seen anything like it. That is awesome. And my stepdaughter, Jenna, if she's waiting at the other side, oh, my dog will run to her like you wouldn't believe. Man, I can't. When is this?

58:53We were trying to find out. It's usually in August. And I was trying to find the website and everything. So I'm looking into it. Your zipper will be in the contest. You need to get her on a regimen. You need to get her on a regimen. Yeah. Let's get her sponsored. Let's get her sponsored. I know. Maybe Oscar Mayer. Let's take care of her. Hey, M1 Sanjaya's on the line. And you've done this before, right? Yes. Yeah, I have a little wiener dog, dude. And you've raced her? Yeah. Well, it's a guy. It's a dude. It's a dude. When we first took it, it was only a few months old, you know. So, like, really didn't know much. But, yeah, they put them in, like, little, like, pockets with the plastic. Gate. Yeah, a little plastic gate so they can see across. And it's probably, like, maybe 10 yards or so, 15 yards. That's hilarious. Yeah, they run across. And they don't have lines or anything. You know, they just, like, run to the other side. They get in everyone else's lane. Yeah, they, like, bump each other, dude. It's so funny. Oh, I want to see it. I got to see it. I can't wait. Thanks for the call. Oh, that's great. Apparently, Woods and I are going to Woofstock, too. Yes. My wife's coming in town. When is this again? April. April 10th. April. She's going to come in town, like, the 8th or the 9th. And she's bringing two of the babies. So we're going to go to Woofstock. What is Woofstock? It's just a big event for dogs. Don't worry about it. I'll be there with Zipper. Really? We're going to go together, all of us. Woof. Do you bring your baby?

1:00:18My big baby? Yeah, bring your big baby. Dogs go crazy, eat a bunch of catnip. Yeah. That's the coolest thing. Woofstock. Woofstock. Yeah, Hendrix is playing. Yeah, it's going to be great. Country Joe and the Fish. It's going to be great. Little feet. Don't eat the brown acid. Like, we're going to party, dude. Woofstock, here we come. Speaking of babies, we reached a milestone yesterday. Our seven-month-old son, Luke, crawled yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty cool. I'm your father. Thank you, Luke. Can we start calling you Darth Vader? Yeah. Anytime he gets in trouble when you get older, you can be like, Luke, listen, I am your father. He's going to go. Yeah, that's why he's crawling because he's like, I got stuff to do. Yeah, he is. He's like, he is probably the mind of a 16-year-old already at seven months. How exciting was that? Oh, it was really, really. Did he crawl to something? Yeah, he crawled to me. Oh. Yeah.

1:01:18It was really cool. Did your heart just melt? Oh, it was, dude. Did you tear up? I didn't. I want to hear the breakdown. Like, were you holding something? Were you like, Luke? I got home. I was holding a corned beef on rye. Yeah, corned beef on rye. Obviously. I got home and Rebecca goes, I got home and Rebecca goes, babe, come here, come here. And I ran into the living room. Well, I didn't run. Let's be honest. You strolled. You set shade. Yeah. I casually walked. Into the living room. I'm coming. Hold on, I got to put my purse up. I'll be in a sec. He segued into the living room. Hold on, I got to get dressed. So I... Hold on, babe. I'll be right there. So I walked in and she goes, lay down on the floor. I laid down on the floor on my belly. She put Luke down on his belly and he got up on all fours and he started calling over to me. It was fantastic. It kind of makes... Anything and everything else that's going on in your life, just kind of just way down on the totem pole. It was a cool thing. What do you think his twin brother feels like? Do you think he feels left behind? I do. He'll start immediately. But everybody knew that was coming. We'll be throwing sliders in like two years. I think that that might be the deal that he's like maybe the agile one. He's much lighter than his twin brother, Ryan. Ryan looks like me.

1:02:46in every way. A little bit, you know, got a couple of LBs more than the brother. Ryan is the cutest. He's a little brunette with blue eyes. He just grins. He's got daddy's hair and mommy's eyes. That's a great little combo. And he just grins. Yeah, he does. All the time. Luke, on the other hand, does not grin. He scowls. Luke looks at you and he goes, get out of the way, dude. He looks like James Dean. Yeah. Just chief blasting cigs on the couch. He's going, hey. Let's get this show on the road, man. He's crawling by. He's like, I got locks to pick. Yeah. That kid. That kid. That kid. 100% right. Listen to this about Jay. So Jay goes, he says, I wonder if my wife reads my blog. He said, anyway, I'm at the beach yesterday. I'm getting out of the water, and I see this girl with a nice figure. Oh, Jay. Walking towards me. I'm not dead. I'm just married. He says, I look down at the sand, and I keep walking towards the stairs. He says, and just before we pass each other, I look up to see what she looked like up close. Of course. Why not? I know where this is going already, I have a feeling. She was a dude. No! Shut up. I thought he was like 14. She was a dude, long hair, tight t-shirt, and a Speedo. You're losing it, pal.

1:04:15He says, nice to know I was checking out a dude. That's disgusting. Who had very, very pretty hair and long legs. What was he wearing? I believe he was German. Weird. I was nowhere near the beach yesterday. How about that? Very nice. That was Jay's day yesterday. Oh, wow. Was he wearing tight clothing or something? Speedo. Speedo. It was from a distance. Did you think that she was topless? No, no. I thought it was just like a tight t-shirt on. Long hair blowing in the wind. Oh, gross. I can't wait to see this one. Who's this piece walking down the road? I dug my head down and kept walking. Oh, no. He's like, oh, here it comes, here it comes. Uh-oh. Oops. Sorry about that. Went home and cried in the shower. Yeah. Washed my mouth out for sure. Crying game. That probably happens a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, speaking of relationships, TomTom Girl and Movie Phone Guy are here and not very happy. I got to be honest with you. What's the deal? Did you guys, are you guys, you guys didn't commit? First of all, you came back from Taiwan. From Taiwan, Mikey. Yes, where you're from, TomTom Girl.

1:05:32I've got freaking jet lag. That's right. Freaking jet lag. Yeah. And how did it go? How was Taiwan? If I hear you say freaking one more time, I'm going to freak out on you. Weird. Uh-oh. This doesn't sound like it was going that well, Mike. You guys not getting along? We're on a break. Why? Why? He thinks we're on a break. I say we're broken up. It's not you. It's me. What is going on? Apparently, he thinks I have a lot of baggage, but I tried to tell him that we were just going to Taiwan. Who wouldn't have a lot of baggage? I'm with you. She still doesn't get it. Weird. What's up? What's the problem with you two? I think he had some sort of problem with my parents. What do you mean? Do you have a problem with your parents? I don't speak Taiwanese. I tried to give him a lesson, if you all can recall. On the air, but somebody wasn't listening as usual. Makes sense. Yeah. Maybe you navigate your way to a gym. Ever hear of LA Fitness? Don't take that. Don't take that. Maybe you stop using that stupid inflection. Oh, wow. Maybe you try any inflection. Maybe you stop saying maybe. Maybe you stop saying maybe. What is happening right now?

1:06:59Welcome to my life, Mikey. Welcome to my life, Mikey. Stop repeating me, pleading him. Stop repeating me, artisan. Coal miner. Grave digger. You guys are both being farmers right now, yeah. Bacon grazer. I've run out of blue-colored things to say. Tom Tom Girl, what did your parents think of him? What do you think, Sienna? They thought, who is this guy? Yeah, they thought he's handsome. How would anybody know they don't speak English? They asked me if I picked him up at a circus because he's such a clown. Oh. Maybe you and your mother navigate your way to a gym. Oh, you're the phone guy. That's inappropriate. Hey, what about the relationship? What's the deal? Why don't you guys figure it out? Get nice with each other. I need some time to myself. Is that it? He's constantly on the phone, Mikey. That's my job. I always ask him, who are you on the phone with? Don't worry about it. He's got secret text messages and all sort of business. Keep your eyes on your own paper. Oh, wow. You're always wanting to know what he's looking at in the text and everything? He's very secretive. I get a million phone calls a day. Why don't you just ask him to go with his Facebook?

1:08:20Sorry, Mikey. Why don't you go on his Facebook and just see what he's up to? Oh, that's a whole other story altogether. What do you mean? This guy won't change his status to say that he's in a relationship. What are we, 17? You have to do that, movie phone guy. Do I? Yes. Do I? Uh-huh. Do I? Mikey, is your status updated? Yeah, well, no, it isn't. Well, it says married. It says married. What about your status? It says married. So do you want him to put in a relationship with Tom Tom Girl? Would that make you feel more? I can deal with the anonymity, but at least say in a relationship. I think I am at least owed that much. Yeah, movie phone guy, why don't you give her that? I don't want to disappoint my fans. You don't have that many fans. I get more calls than anybody in this room. That's because people want to go to the movies. Exactly. That's it. Not on a date. He keeps telling me that he's a talent of this relationship. If the shoe fits. Oh, stop it. Thank you, movie phone guy. You're welcome. You're like going to get some food today, Mikey.

1:09:27Sure, that sounds great. I guess you don't want to zoom, zoom, zoom in my boom, boom. You got that right. I won't be shaking my rump any longer. You guys are grumpy. What happened, Mike? I don't know. They used to be so happy. They used to have a really long flight, dude. I guess so. It's a long flight and he had to hang out with her Taiwanese parents and didn't speak any English. Probably had to eat some nasty food. Well, he went there. What does he expect? Yeah, exactly. He didn't have to go. I'll tell you this much. As much as the love is lost between Tom Tom girl and movie phone guy, it's still not as bad as Maria Conchita Alonso and how she feels about Sean Penn. Yeah. Who is that? For sure. They were in a movie together a long time ago. Maria Conchita Alonso. Or no, or maybe it was a show called Colors. Colors, the movie. It was a movie. Oh, it was great. Bobby Duvall. It was the girl that co-starred with him. Colors. Yeah. Colors. It was the chick that was in it with him? Uh-huh. She's mad at him because of stuff that he says about Hugo Chavez, the president of her homeland. Yeah. Chavez is a very intelligent human being, a great actor. And, you know, either he is ignorant in the subject of Venezuela and Chavez, and by the way of the castors in Cuba, because he also, you know, likes them, or I don't know why he is talking about that. I know people should know the truth.

1:10:51Yeah, baby, that's great. This is Ricky Martin. And all I have to say is I'm a little freaked out. I'm a little freaked out that yesterday I put on the Twitter and the Facebook and all of the different places. The blog and stuff. The blogs and everything. I say that I am gay and I keep hitting refresh. And nothing happened? Nothing happened like nobody cared. Wait, you said you're gay yesterday? I came out. Stop traffic. Oh, okay. And I thought everybody be interested, you know? Everybody be like, oh, my goodness. Ricky Martin? He's a gay? Yeah. Nobody's seen you in six years. I know, but I still thought, you know, they'd be interested. What made you do that? Well, I said it because at numero uno, nobody know about me anymore. Oh, yeah. Okay, so I want people to know about me again. Right. Okay, that was number one. But number two. I'm tired of living a lie, okay? And then, so I say it, and I'm like, oh, any mini? Millions of people want to interview me about it, right? What happened? I keep hitting refresh. Nothing? And a noble body wrote me to say, oh my gosh, I'm so glad. But Barbara Walters asked you about it years ago, and you never really answered, so maybe people just assumed. Can you see? How are the twins? Your kids?

1:12:17Oh, yeah, the twins are doing good, but nobody want to ask me about being gay. Nobody say nothing. I think everybody already knew, pal. Oh, really? Yeah, really. Everybody knew. Everybody knew. Everybody knew I was slaying the girls, but nobody knew. You're a really good-looking man, let me tell you. I think Ricky Martin slayed as many girls as Frankie slayed. Yeah, Frankie. You don't worry about me, pal. I know. You keep your eyes on your own papers. Yeah. Thank you. Touché. Did we do... Did we do Dude, You're Dumb? No. No, that's way later. We didn't even do Dude, You're Dumb. We gotta do it. You wanna do it? Oh, wow. Woodsy's eyes just got big. Like, right now? No, we're doing it, yeah, in a few minutes. We're doing it in a few minutes. What? Are we not doing Woods of Wisdom? No, we're not. We're doing it at about 940. What grid are you guys looking at? What grid are you guys looking at? My grid's all messed up. We got Woods of Wisdom. It's all messed up. Momentarily. Oh, yeah, we're going to do Woods of Wisdom. Are we? Yeah. We'll let people call about it if they want to. MikeyShow.com is looking great, by the way. If you haven't taken a visit to MikeyShow.com, you should. We got a brand new section on there.

1:13:39With all kinds of new Photoshop stuff. That's really good. And we have an area on there where you can write Woods of Wisdom advice. You just write, you click on Woods of Wisdom and you write Woodsy and ask him for, if you're a dude, and you ask him for advice on stuff. Click on the latest and then scroll down to Woods of Wisdom. And now what we did is, it's not even that hard anymore, Woodsy. That's what? If you go to MikeyShow.com. Oh, yeah. Woods of Wisdom is right there on the main page. Perfect. So you can click on that and check it out. We need to gather some before we can do those. That's right. So get on it. Get on it. 570-1949 is our number or 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. That's what we're doing. Yeah. Oh, that is fantastic. Do share. Oh, yes. What is it? Did I say I was going to talk about that? You told me you were going to, and I can't wait for them to hear about it. Oh, jeez. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Do tell, Michael. I bought a man groomer. Do you know what I mean? Dude, what? I changed my mind. You have to talk about it. No, no, no. We're talking about it.

1:15:01Are we? Yes. If you don't, we will. Yeah. I know the whole story. You told it to me, so I will share. I'm sorry, Mike. I love you. We got to take a break, though, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do we have to talk about it? Yes. I have an idea. Why don't we do it at this time next year? No, no. No, we'll talk about it for sure. There's nothing wrong with a man groomer. There is when I tell you this particular issue on my back. Listen, if you're a fella, you can relate. No one will judge. No judge. Safe tree, right? What is it called? It's in the trust tree. Trust tree. It's in the trust tree. You're fine. Edward Sharp, Magnetic Zeros, 40 Day Dream. All right, so I'll tell you about it. You heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9.

1:16:26Do you remember when you used Dial-Up to access the Internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed, and now you're doing more and more on the Internet. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with Dial-Up. And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than Dial-Up? Here's the deal. If you want super fast Internet without all the lag you get with DSL, switch to Earthlink from Time Warner Cable. See, Time Warner Cable has this advanced fiber network. So with it, Earthlink is 13 times faster than DSL. 13 times. That's huge. Seriously, getting Earthlink for your internet service is such a no-brainer. Pick up the phone and call them 1-800-CABLE-TV to get Earthlink from Time Warner Cable for only $36.95 a month. That's 1-800-CABLE-TV or go to timewarnercable.com anytime. Some restrictions apply. AIS, oh my goodness, they are saving you money. And I'm going to give you the number, 1-800-777-4AIS. This is about your auto insurance. Did you know that 25% of California motorists are uninsured? Could be you. It's the law. You have to do it. Why not save money? Call this number right now, 1-800-777-4247.

1:17:53and see if you don't find out for yourself exactly what I've been telling you has happened for me. I saved $1,600 a year on my auto insurance by switching to AIS. The average annual savings, $650 a year. What could you buy with that? A lot. A lot. A lot. At least a month's worth of rent, right? For sure. I mean, that is savings and what you're paying for your auto insurance. I've said this before. It's like throwing money away. Every time you're writing that check for your auto insurance, you're throwing money away. You could be saving that money. I want the best buy. Of course. 1-800-777-4 A-I-S. Give them a call. Hey, Jack, sorry to bug you. Where do you usually get your car serviced? Same place I told you yesterday, Lisa. Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Thanks. Oh, hi, Molly. You bought a Toyota, right? Yeah, from Toyota Carlsbad. Where do you get it serviced? At Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Ooh, Billy, where... Where everyone else goes, Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Sorry, but getting your car serviced right the first time is a big deal. That's why we all go to Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Master trained service technicians.

1:19:02Toyota parts. And it's the largest Toyota authorized service facility in San Diego County. Well, I guess my choice is clear. Good. Going back to work now. Shipping. This is stuff. Doug, where do you get your car? Stop it. Working. Toyota car rolls back. Toyota owners now get a synthetic oil change starting at $49.95 plus tax and hazardous material fee. Text TOYOTASERVICE48696 for more specials. Visit Toyota Carlsbad New Parts and Service Center today, west of I-5 on Avenida Encinas, Carlsbad. See us online at toyotacarlsbad.com. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public. By being burdened with credit card debt to aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344.

1:20:07We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344 800-724-1344 Again, that's 800-724 1-3-4-4. After reading, after discussing, after searching, you realize that at this school you don't memorize the answers to questions, you ask them. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper is guaranteed to be 99.99% jam free. Don't you wish traffic was? Hammer Mill Paper. No worries. We go to 8 westbound before Waring Road. We have a large animal carcass in between the left lanes. Watch out for that. Metal debris in El Cajon. North Magnolia ramp to 67. It's in the roadway. CHP on the way to clear it. Expect some slowing. Waring ramp to Interstate 8. That's where we have a big rig partially blocking the right lane. CHP heading to the scene to check on that.

1:21:18traffic also a little sluggish there. Traffic is also brought to you by Advil PM. Spend less time lying awake with annoying aches and pains and more time asleep with Advil PM. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's happening? This is Bird with Dragon Eyewear and the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Tuesday morning brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate. Change of everything today as we've got some weather coming down upon us. Overcast skies to be sure. Sprinkles threatening and calm winds at the moment. That's kind of the best part of the day so far. West, north, westerly wind, groundswell combination out there. There is size, waist, chest, shoulder high on average, head high with some pluses on top of that. But most spots looking pretty broken up and somewhat sloppy. Expect westerly winds to come on quickly to put the final dose of pain on today's overall surf forecast. But at the moment, beach breaks look somewhat rideable right now. They can choose corners kind of soft and short.

1:22:17Reef breaks for the higher tide especially just looking kind of weak and peaky. So that's about it. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out when the South Coast surf shops five locations or, of course, go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate, hot or cold, rain or shine, the drink of choice. And it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I make up lyrics if I don't know them. Woods. I remember my first French kiss. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. Ziena. I put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. Take me out. You do? All right. Book and one of your favorite artists.

1:23:51Wow, that's really cracking you up there. Interesting laugh. You're really into it. Welcome back to the Mikey Show. It's the best part right here, Michael. It is. Wow, you are bouncing up and down really happy. Look at that. He's on one of those bouncy balls kind of bouncing around the studio. Where did you get that? That's right. I got it in Munich. You did? Oh, yep. I can see that. It says Munich right on the side of it. It's actually in München. It's not, actually. That's how they say it. It's in Germany. Is that right? I don't think so. Trust me. Great. I'm German. You're from La Jolla. I'm from Germany. It's München. Trust me. Why are you wearing a Speedo? Because I'm European. Because it was there, Michael. You're on a bouncy ball that says Munich. Just say it. Sally. I bought a man groomer. There you go. Nothing wrong with that. Looks like a wand. Ben's in the middle.

1:25:06It's for back. Throw it. Okay. Draw it. I have no idea what you're talking about. No problemo, dude. I have no clue. It makes it so that you can reach. You can't. That's not going to fit in there, dude. He's trying to put the pen cap on the end of my pen. Wood's just handed Mikey a pen. It's gnarled. And Wood's chews on everything. So when Mikey tried to put the cap of the pen on the bottom, you know. It didn't work. It didn't fit. Won't fit. That's. It's like that, pal. Okay. Looks like a little crane. Looks like a little crane. Looks like an Irish shillelagh. Yeah, it looks like the number seven. Okay, and then I guess the razors are in this little part here? Yeah, and you hold it like a wand, and you shave your back hair. That's freaking repugnant. Hang on a minute before you do with that. Oh, this is all your stuff, pal. I just have one little patch right up at the top. Of hair? It's just a tuft. Let's just get it waxed. Because that's like a whole trip just for a little spot. That's the old lady to do it for you. Let's get the laser guy in here. Let's all get lasered. Yeah. Can you get... I don't, but like I don't want some dude with like a laser cart from like Tijuana coming up here to laser us. That barely speaks English? Yeah. No, let's get... Take your pants off. No. No, I don't think so. I've always wanted to do that. Man. You've always wanted to laser somebody? No.

1:26:29Do you get the laser hair removal? That would be the best. I wish the patch of hair on my back was small. Oh. God, I'm so lucky. Jay, really? Jay, where? I've just got hairs. I mean, they're just random. My wife usually handles them in the shower for me. You creep. I shower with my wife. Oh, my gosh. That is the creepiest thing in the world. That's not as cute. You're 46 years old. Who cares? They're saving the water. I better hope that when you're 46, you would want to be showering with your wife still. That's adorable. It's not creepy. It gets all cold. No. We got a big water heater. Okay, if it makes you uncomfortable. Yeah, it makes me uncomfortable. It's not creepy. It makes you uncomfortable. It's a party in there, man. It gets all cold. You get two shower heads. Yeah, jumping in the shower. No problem with that. Scrub, scrub, scrub. It's creepy. I think it's very cool. Man and wife. Shaved on his back. It's a whole other show topic. Talk about showering with spouses. I would, uh, how, the laser lasts forever, right?

1:27:33I believe so. You have to get like a few, depending on how much hair you have, you have to get a few different treatments. Here's the deal. I don't think it feels all that great either. No, it hurts. I heard it hurts. Does it? Yeah. I know it's not like painless. I know exactly what it feels like. They say it feels like a rubber band. Feels like a rubber band? Like rubbing it over your hair? Yeah, it's like a bunch of rubber bands just slap, slap, slap into your skin. Pain is beauty, fellas. Is that right? Pain is beauty. I have the worst body hair, I got to tell you. My ears, I'm getting ear hair. Me too, dude. I'm getting old man ear hair. Me too. I tweezed Todd's. I have to tell the girls at the place that cut my hair to go ahead and hit the number two on the... Why don't you just get one of those little inserts that goes... Yeah, dude, they have them for your nose. I know, I need it too. And for your ears. Stop picking your nose. I've gone through two of them. I've burned up the motors in them. Yeah, me too. Groominglounge.com. Make it right. Just go to groominglounge.com, and they got all that stuff on there. That's where I found the man groomer. That's where you got your skin modifier, too. That's right. It's terrific. It's great, man. They sell everything there for the dude that has needs for the back. I wonder how many sessions it would take. If anybody's listening that's a laser person, how many sessions would it take to get a little patch at the top of my back? Guys have this. Or maybe they could just do all of us.

1:28:55Yeah, you know. That'd be good. Would you ladies do your lady stuff? Oh, heck yeah. Without a doubt. You do your lady parts? Yes. Her lovely lady parts. I'd probably do my man bits. Really? Yeah, why not? Got to cut back the forest to make the trees look bigger. Clean house, play. Because you're a dude. Don't get too carried away. That'd be weird. Don't get too carried away, bro. Oh, really? Don't miss the target. Plus, it lasts forever, you know. I'm good with that. Really? The forever part is the selling point. Imagine never having to shave again. Oh, on a dude? On a dude? Oh, why not? Who cares? It's a little torn-ish. They're thinking of everything. Is that a word? Oh, everything? I don't think Lauren's talking about everything. No. That would be a little scary. That's crazy. I have buddies that... Leave some hedges. I have buddies that shave their arms and their chest and all that. I'm like, it's so much work. I'm so glad I'm not a hairy dude. Sorry. I'm so not a hairy guy. Like, look at my chest hair. Okay. I didn't need to, but now I am. How many times do we see him with his chest? Didn't need to, but now I am. There's like five. Yeah. And I get the whole trail. That's it. The happy trail. Happy trail. Can I ask you guys? Yes. As a woman, same thing with me. You know, I don't have a hairy chest. I just have the, you know. Around the nips and in the middle. And so as a woman, wouldn't you rather your man just not have?

1:30:18Anything there? No, that's fine. Let me ask you this, pal. What? Would you like your wife to have the hair around the nips? Can you adjust your dip and then ask me? Would you like your wife to have the hair around the nips? Make it right. Okay, that's so different. Men have hairy armpits and women don't. Yeah. It's family. But yes, they do. They shave them. Yeah. I've seen Madonna in Playboy in 1987. Todd is the same as you guys, just around the nips. And he shaves it sometimes and I don't mind. But I don't think he really needs to. I think it's kind of weird. I don't, but... If I got permission from you guys and my wife and the community that I'm not weird, I would. I don't think it's weird. I think if you had a really hairy chest and it was like a lot of work, if you just have a couple hairs, like, yeah, just shave it off if you want. If you're wearing like a sweater, you might want to consider getting a wax or something. M1 Allison, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Allison, can you tell people what an M1 is? An M1 is someone that calls in, turns down their radio, and doesn't cuss. That's right. That's right. That's exactly what it is. And listens exclusively to... The Mikey Show. Yeah. So, what can you tell me about this laser stuff? Well, I don't do laser removal myself, but I know about it because I went to education school, so we learned a lot. And I can tell you that...

1:31:44For you to, like, get a little bit done on your back and stuff, it'll probably take you, like, three or four sessions of it. And it doesn't permanently take care of it, actually. What's the point, then? Well, it'll take care of it temporarily for, like, you know, a couple years. But you have to get it kind of touched up every now and again. But that's just going back, like, maybe four years later and then just getting one treatment done and then it's done for, right? You don't have to go back in for another four. Sometimes, but sometimes people do have to go in for another four, too. Knowing you. Mike, the way that your hair and woods, you guys, I think, would be fine. But some people have just a lot of hair. Question. Question. Yeah. Have you ever had it done? Have I? Yeah. No, I've had. My sisters have had it done. Okay, we got somebody on the line that's had it done. I got a question. Sure. Thank you, Allison. Emma and Stephanie? Hi, Jan. You've got laser treatment before? Yes, I have. Does it hurt? It depends on the area, actually. I would need them to put me out like surgery. Yeah, me too. It will probably not hurt on your back. Bikini area hurts and the legs hurt. Yeah. The lower leg hurts. Right in front of the bone, that's where it really hurts. Yeah, that's where I got my tattoo that was painful. What does it feel like? It feels like you're being pinched.

1:33:08Perfect. Like constantly pinched. But there's actually this liquid that you can put on. Well, I actually got mine done in TJ, which was highly recommended. Oh, yeah, for sure. Everything in TJ is highly recommended. It's actually a big company throughout the nation. They're really well known. Stephanie, doesn't it trip you out that you got it done in TJ, though? Not at all. Really? No, I have a doctor down there, and he's a really good doctor. Some people don't mind it. They go all the time. My mom took me to Mexico to get my braces when I was a kid. Really? Yeah. A lot cheaper. My braces are over there, too, and I think I had them for a year and a half, and it was $1,600. Yeah. Mine were made of wood. Just kidding. Just kidding. All right. Thank you for the call. I appreciate it, Stephanie. My wife is on the line. Oh, hello. Hi, honey. Hi. Hi, guys. Hi. Hey. You know, Hannah, I don't even think you know this, but I had laser hair removal. What? Yeah. You know that? I had no idea. I know. Because, yeah, I know. We've been married. We've been married. Five years? Mikey has a look of disappointment. I did it like two years ago. What? Wow. Babe, we were together two years ago. You had a child. We had a child two years ago. You a little self-involved, pal, or what? Yeah.

1:34:24Was I sleeping? What? That's my bed. Well, the reason why I'm calling is because I went to, like, probably eight, maybe ten sessions. What? Probably eight. Whoa. And it was, you know, it was significantly painful. And you're not a hairy person. No. No, and I... Two years later, it's as if I never did it. Wow. Where did you get the laser removed? Where did the hair remove from? I had my underarms done and my bikini area. And it didn't do anything? No, I mean, at the time it did. But, I mean, probably six months later, you know, I had to shave every day just like normal. Oh, my gosh. It's the biggest disappointment. It made absolutely no impact at all. And I'm bummed that I, you know. They're expensive. Spent all that time, and it was painful, too. Oh, I have a question. How come you didn't tell me? I did. You did? Yes, of course I did. She probably did. She totally did. She probably did. Of course I did. You just don't remember anything. I don't. I guarantee, Mike, you thought of it as like, oh, she got waxed. You know, like maybe it's not that big of a deal. Yeah, great. You're going to the salon again. Okay. Yeah. I'll call the newspaper. Have fun.

1:35:44Wow. So, babe, I should. I mean, it's a great idea. I wish it worked. If it worked, yeah. And maybe it does work for some people, but it didn't work for me. I have a friend who said that it totally worked. She got it done years ago. Should I do it on my back in that little patch on my back, babe? You know, I mean, I don't think it's that big of a deal, you know, the patch on your back. And to go through all the pain, and it is very expensive. for it to probably not even work. Really? I'll go with you. Yeah, it looks like there's a little koala falling across my back. I'll go with you. If you guys were going to do that, I would just, like, do waxing or something. I'll go with you. All right, honey, I love you. Love you, too. Bye. That is hilarious that you didn't know. I didn't know. If there's anybody listening that wants to do this on us, call us. I did hear that the coarser the hair. the more likely that it'll work. Oh, yeah. Where would I do it? Mine's like a Berber rug. Yeah, like Rebecca has blonde hair. A Berber rug on your back? No, mine's very soft. I don't have enough hair to do it anywhere. You don't? I mean, I'm not doing that part, but I'm not doing that. Yeah, you shouldn't. I'm not taking my pants off for some laser. No way. You just said that you would. But not that part. No way. What else would I do? I don't have any hair on my back. I have no hair on my chest. My arms aren't very hairy. My legs look like a girl's legs. You hear the ladies right away like,

1:37:00jumped right in and they were like, yeah, we'll do it. I would do it in a heartbeat. Definitely. Because you just don't like to deal with it. Yeah. Manscaping and landscaping is hard work. It worries me, though, if it didn't work for Rebecca because I'm not that hairy, you know, and if it doesn't, if it just comes right back and you have to go through that pain for only six months, that's not worth it. Dude, neither of these girls, like, look at Lauren's, look at their arms. There's nothing. Yeah, you don't have any hair on your arms, Pepper. I do. They're little blonde guys. Neither do you, really. But you're all natural, so maybe you have a patch under your arms. No. Oh, okay. So you are a little girly girl. She's a girly girl when it comes to that stuff, right? Yeah, I'm going to uphold some things. That's right. I'm really uncomfortable. Yeah, it made me kind of weirded out. I'm just really uncomfortable. It's life, you guys. The whole hair thing is just... Weirded out by Pepper. By me? M1, Timo, how are you? Good. You had it done? I had it done, and it didn't work for me. Oh, I'm out. I'm out. Doesn't work, it sounds like. Maybe I said there's certain hormones that can affect whether it'll work or not. I want to hear a thank you, Timo. I want to hear a dude call. You and I probably have those hormones, Mikey. They should not work, so. Can a dude call and say I got my back lasered?

1:38:15Yeah, I know someone who did, and as far as I know, I don't look at his back all the time, but I think he's good. He went for, I think, four sessions. Never mind. I don't want to do it. Come on, dude. Dude, the only area I would get is my piece. I'm not getting my piece lasered. How about you, Jay? You go in and get those back hairs taken care of? Jay's busy. Jay's on vacation. Frankie would probably go with us. You guys, Jay would totally do it. Frankie, have you ever gotten lasered? Yeah. Where? My legs. You lasered your legs? Yeah. Why? Water polo. Oh. Water polo. Yeah. Got to make sure you're aerodynamic performing. You are pretty hairless. I don't want any resistance, you know. Do you still play? Absolutely. Every weekend, man. You should. You should go join him. No, I don't want to play water polo. It's a good workout. Oh, dude, I'll wax you. It's no big deal. No, you're not waxing me, dude. Come over there. No, it's unnatural. What's the matter? It's unnatural, dude. Guys don't wax other dudes. Who brings a wax kit with him everywhere they go? Why do you have that? It's probably because, you know, it's back home. I guess it must be a Brooklyn thing. I don't think. A lot of dudes waxing each other in Brooklyn? Yeah, man, I guess. I mean, that's what I grew up. You know, that's what everybody did. Well, we don't do that here, dude. You know, we get into bar fights and then wax. We don't wax here. I don't think so.

1:39:33We'd like go look at girls and then wax and stuff. I don't know if guys actually do that. I'm from New Jersey. I've been to Brooklyn quite a few times. Well, I've only been here in San Diego a couple of years, man. So I'm still, you know, live and learn, man. You live and you learn. There you go. I learned something new today, I guess. They don't do it that way out here in the PB or whatever. You sound a little down today, Frankie. I know. You know why? You know why? Why? Well, because my best friend over there. I don't know what his problem is, man. What? What? You're bumming him out. Yeah, man, you're bumming me out, dude. I said me and you go get the waxing and everything. I don't want to wax, bro. I'm not hairless. Picture, bro. You got to get aerodynamic. I'm aerodynamic. Oh, you're not. You won't even, like, you won't go play water polo with him? No, I don't play water polo. He won't help him move? Just throw him a bone. Yeah, man, we put on a shower cap. It's the last thing I'm going to throw on. We put on a shower cap, dude, and then we go play the water polo with a shower cap on. Why would you wear it? You don't even want to do that? No. Why, Frankie? Because in water polo, that's what they wear. They wear it. It has their number. Oh, that's their number on it. You wear a shower cap with your number on it. A swim cap. A swim cap, yeah.

1:40:54It's not a shower cow. Dude, let's take a picture for Facebook, man. Me and you in a water polo? In a planned water polo. Yeah, that'd be tough. He's spiking on you, dude. Imagine that picture. M1 Steve-O did his armpits. Is that right, Steve-O? Yeah, yes, sir. Very expensive, very painful. About seven, eight months later, everything came down. Oh, my gosh. Big waste of money. How come you did your armpits? Well, a long time ago, I was listening to one of your competitors, and he said he had a problem with odor under there and staining his shirts and all. I said, friend of his told him to shave, cured the problem. No more all the ever sweating under there and no smell and everything, just like women. Works great. Did you have a problem with the smell? Well, you know, not on most days. It was a warmer day. I worked outside, you know, and I'm not a construction worker or nothing, but you start sweating a bit. The rings. He got the rings.

1:41:55Next thing you know, you got yellow stain under your armpits and stuff on your shirts. Oh, yeah. At least he noticed it and did something about it, you know? Yeah, Mikey, why don't you give him a break, dude? Yeah, give the guy, you know, the third degree over here, asking about it. I don't think he was trying to give him the third degree, Frankie. Yeah, it's like, you know, live and let live, dude, you know? Guy wants to shave his armpits and have, you know, what's the matter with it? I do it. I actually have a number of friends now who I've talked to and they started doing it and they're like, wow. What a difference. Their wife's girlfriend say they don't smell anymore and no more. Just from no hair? I've smelled some girls with some B.O. before. That's great, Woods. Awesome, Woods. You're the man. Thanks, Woods. You are the man. It doesn't matter what Woods say. He can do no wrong. Guy says he's met some girls with B.O. The guy's like, you're the man. You can do no wrong. I mean, are you kidding me? How is that a man move? Like, not the man. He does plenty wrong. M1 Linda. You know that. First of all, I wanted to let Woods know that I do not have B.O. I didn't think so. I didn't say you, honey. But I did have laser done on my armpits, and it worked. I mean, I've got that. I did it about a year and a half ago, and I've gone back once and had it stitched up.

1:43:15Really? They say that the ideal candidate is really pale with dark hair. So, like, the lighter your skin is, the more... I'm not dark hair, but I'm really pale. I'm perfect, then. If you're pale with dark hair, you're a good candidate. Me. Creamy white. Oh, really? So, basically, Edward Cullen is the best candidate to get it done? Yeah, Edward Cullen. He's a vampire, not Dracula. Yeah, from Portland. There you go. The other thing is, I think waxing is way more painful. Really? Wow. I mean, in bikini area, that's more painful than getting a tattoo, I think. I know. It's like each shot of the laser is five seconds. So you breathe heavily for five seconds and go away. When I get my bikini waxed, it hurts. I know. Glad you can identify. Thank you. How are you doing? M1 Linda. Did you just say, how you doing? Creeper. Imperial Teen is the name of the band. I'll tell you the story. My dad is the best. And I was talking to Lauren about it. And Lauren can relate because her dad does something similar. And what it has to do with is sometimes our dads don't really understand the technology. You know?

1:44:43The example that Lauren gives is her dad sometimes will write her an entire email in an instant message. Oh, wow. Dear Lauren. And then a whole thing. And then it's like. Your dad's on name? Yeah. Signed dad. Because he has an AOL email address. Oh, that's funny. Because he refuses to use like an Explorer or something like that. He's like, no, I like the dial up. Welcome. I like AOL. Yeah. So, yeah. I'll be like, hey, dad, what are you doing online? He'll be like. Five minutes later, dear Lauren, something, something, something. Love ya. And your dad, Larry King. That's right. I'm making it right on aim. So we'll be doing that. Have you call about some would you rathers? Got a full show today. It's a Mikey show. The Mikey show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9.

1:45:45This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. There's a bunch of good shows right in the middle of April, like Cheap Trick at the Belly Up April 14th, A Place to Bury Strangers with the Big Pink at the cast by April 15th, and the sold-out Edward Sharp of the Magnetic Zeros show, also April 15th. Sia's Playing House of Blues April 19th, and Transfer will play the Belly Up on Thursday, April 29th. And just announced Green Day. They're coming to Cricket Wireless with AFI. That show Thursday, September 2nd. Tickets go on sale this Friday the 2nd at noon. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What'd you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinated for 24 hours.

1:47:06Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Maybe I should write a jingle. March 26, 2010. We're deep into the land of the polar bear, and it's a world full of magnificent sights. Our expedition is young, but we've gained a lifetime of memories already. Though massive, the polar bear is a gentle creature living in a fragile environment. The journey seemed daunting at first, but it was actually only about 20 feet to their glass enclosure. There is much to see here, like the depleting ice strips, which we crossed with ease. The children love learning about the polar bear story and don't seem to be tiring as much as usual. Even my husband is showing a level of interest he typically reserves only for sports and crime shows. Mom, why are you shouting like that? We're right here. I don't know, honey. It just sounds better when I say things like this. If you can hear me, this is an experience not to be missed.

1:48:26Take an expedition for the whole family at the San Diego Zoo's new Polar Bear Plunge. Explore their Arctic habitat and discover all there is to know about the fascinating world of the polar bears. For details, visit sandiegozoo.org. Attention to all Americans struggling with medical bills and credit card debt. Due to the economic crisis, a program approved by the United States government now may eliminate 100% of your medical bills and credit card debt entirely. This program is now available to the general public through the Chapter 7 Federal Bankruptcy Act and here to offer Americans a fresh start during these hard economic times. We have one goal in mind with this program, and that is to allow Americans to keep their homes, cars, and personal property while eliminating 100% of your debts for good. For more information and to see if you qualify for this government-approved program, call the American Bankruptcy Hotline today, 800-304-0661. Over 1.5 million Americans are expected to take advantage of this opportunity this year alone. While the economy is getting worse and worse, there is no better time than now to file bankruptcy on your debts and walk away from 100% of it for good through this program.

1:49:27For more information, call America's Bankruptcy Hotline now. 800-304-0661. 800-304-0661. Again, that's 800-304-0661. We've been very aware of the issues on the safety side, but quite frankly, we've got a lot of respect for the Toyota brand. When I told my friends, you know, I was going to get a new Toyota, they were like, are you sure? And I'm like, you know what? I've never had a problem. These are actual Toyota customers talking about their recent purchase. And it's loyalty like this that has helped make Toyota the number one brand in America. So we're offering you our biggest thank you ever. For full details on these unprecedented offers, visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, moving forward. Sales claim based on motorintelligence.com calendar year 2009 sales. Hi, my name is Denise Lawrence Ching. I'm a Fresh and Easy customer in E-Rock. Fresh and Easy commercials use real customers, not celebrities. Saving money we pass on to you. I think it's a brilliant idea that they use less energy. My husband being an electrician, the first thing he noticed was the LED lighting in the freezer section. You know, it saves a planet, saves us all money. Thank you, Fresh and Easy. Thanks, Denise. You just saved us some money. And with Easter coming up, we'll help you save on an 18-pack of Farmer's Gems Large Eggs. Only $177. Limit two per customer.

1:50:37Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. You need that extra value from your vehicle and Firestone Complete Auto Care can help. From oil changes to brake repairs to new tires, call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the Firestone Complete Auto Care nearest you. El Cajon Magnolia Ramp 67. Large metal debris in the roadway. Watch out for that. Slow and go still out there. Escondido 78 westbound heavy from 15 out to Woods Valley Parkway. More slowing through National City 805 northbound from Plaza Boulevard to Home Avenue. Traffic also brought to you by Advil PM. and less time lying awake with annoying aches and pains, and more time asleep with Advil PM. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Jay's picking the music today. He did a little jet.

1:51:53I love this song. Look what you've done. Welcome back. It's a Mikey show. What was a better age for you, Woodsy? 14 or 15? 15. Sophomore. Better for you. Great year. Sophomore year was my favorite year. Did a lot of Frenching. Okay, that was probably more than I needed to mean. Way more. A lot of French in something like that. Anyway. How about you, pal? Well, don't remember now. No. It was 15. Just writing I love you in the palms of girls' hands real good? Real good. I did that one time. Yeah. Once was enough. Once was too many. Once was too many. A thousand wasn't enough. Are you ever going to? Never. No, right? Never. Forget that that happened? Never. No chance. This is what was playing for cassette tape.

1:53:03Cued it up real good. Yeah, you did. Peter Cetera. Peter Cetera and Amy Grant. Melanie Kosher. Creepily writing I love you with my index finger into her palm. You were dating Helen Keller. Yes. You were dating Helen Keller. You were dating Helen Keller. Stop it. So I just spell it with my finger on her palm. Stop it. I love you. Look it. Woodsy's doing it. And it's creeping Lauren out. It's so creepy. It tickles. Do you even know what I was saying? I scratched it off. Imagine if I messed up and I had to erase it. Oh, I didn't bring it with my erasable finger. Lick it clean. Don't. That is the move of a sophomore. That is the move of a creepy sophomore. And it was premeditated. I guarantee you she thought it was cute. Oh, she loved it. I guarantee you she didn't. Oh, she did, man.

1:54:11So this creepy Mexican dude came to my house today. That was her boyfriend. I love you in my hand with his finger. She fell in love with me, Stephen. There's no way. She said she loved him, too. That's right. She probably just said it back, though. So I want people to call me and tell me about how goofy your parents are when it comes to technology. The worst. The worst, man. My dad. He doesn't understand the concept of emails and how they work. He you know, and there are things that and people as you're listening to this, you go, oh, yeah, there are concepts that, you know, are way too adventurous to try to get them to understand, like reply all not even to go there. I've got that one down. I know I can't teach my dad reply all. And I know that he I know he wouldn't be responsible with it.

1:55:15Yeah, you don't want to, I don't think. Yeah, just leave it. It doesn't matter what something's called. My dad will call it the other thing. He calls it American Online. Yes. American Online. Dad. Dad, Pop, it's just America Online. Oh, yeah. I know. Yeah. And it's always like I'm the dumb one. It's like, oh, boy. Yeah, I know. Right. Exactly. Just. Make it pop up. Yeah. Dad just switched over to DSL. Had to dial up forever. Years. I mean, until finally they had to cancel doing dial up as a service. They were like, we don't offer it anymore. My parents don't have internet. At all? Internet. How does your dad get on Facebook? Because he has that stupid Verizon thing. No, he plugs in the back of his computer. What is that? Broadband card? Yeah, like a broadband card. I take my computer to the lake house. Uh-huh.

1:56:15Or their condo. No. No internet. None. That's brutal. I don't know how to live. We don't have high def. He has high definition TVs. No high def. Are you kidding? I'm not kidding. Do you say, dad, what's up with you? Yeah, every time. What does he say? What does he say? But here's the funny thing. We're like, hey, we need a new wave runner. He's like, well, let's go get it. Come on. And it's like, that'll be $14.95 a month for DSL. My dad's like, absolutely not. That's too much. I'm not going to pay for high def. Every month? $14.95? No way. But he'll go cut a check for five grand and go buy a new waiver on it. That day. My dad needs to ask me. I bought him for Christmas. I bought him the most simple picture printer that exists. Same thing. And what he'll do is I'll send him, I'll email him a picture and he'll write me back and say, can you please print this for me? And I write him back and I go, Dad, I bought you. And he writes me back and says, I don't know how to use that. Can you print this and put it in a frame and bring it over for me? I can't do it. My dad does not even know how to check his voicemail on his cell phone. Oh, yeah. My dad still has it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No idea. Call my dad's number. If you called my dad's number right now, it would go, you have reached 214.

1:57:35Doing movie phone guy. He still hasn't said, hey, this is Gary Woods. I'm not here. I had to do mine for my dad. I was like, get ready, dad, go. And he's like, oh, hey, this is Keith. He's all flustered. My parents' cell phone says they have 117 messages because they've never once known how to check the voicemail. He's always at the maximum. My little sister goes through and deletes them. We bought a digital camera for my mom and dad, and we bought a printer. And both are still in the box. This was three Christmases ago. Are you kidding? I'm dead serious. We gave my dad an iPod. He has four songs on it. I bought him an adapter for the car so he could listen to it in the car. He loves U2. He really got into U2. So I put a bunch of U2 stuff on there. He's like, yeah, I listen to it like when I walk. I'm like, listen to it in your car. I bought you an adapter. He's like, yeah. My dad's never even taken his iPhone or iPod out of the box. It's still in there? No. Well, you can set it up perfectly for them. Have it all queued up, all ready to go. The next time I come back, it's all wrapped. The wires are wrapped up and it's in a box somewhere. Yeah, they don't know. They don't have a clue. And you're like, are you going to use that? No, I tried. It just doesn't. I don't get it. I wish I could see a hidden camera of them, quote unquote, trying. Oh, I know. Because we all know our parents. Our parents do something for two seconds and they go. Yeah.

1:58:59I bought a computer for my mom, got the Internet hooked up at her house, went there, showed her how to use it. It's like, okay, we're going to be able to talk. You'll be able to see the kids, you know, do Skype, do all this cool stuff. A week later, she turned the Internet off. She figured out how to make the phone call to turn the Internet off. And she used the computer for Solitaire and that only. She had it where it would always stay open. If it closed, she would call my sister. My sister would come over and get the solitaire back up and running. $1,200 solitaire machine. Mom, I could have gotten you a hint. Makes her happy, though, you know. Made her happy. $1,200 solitaire machine with a glossy, high-definition monitor. Should have given her a 50-cent deck of cards. I had no joke. Killed me. Yeah, just go to the airport's gift shop and buy some San Diego playing cards. Here you go, Mom. Have a bowl. I had a conversation with my mom. I'm not kidding. A 10-minute conversation with her about what a desktop was. And then we finally, she goes, okay, well, there's this thing, this screen that I see every time I turn my computer on. I go, yeah, Mom, that's the desktop. Because she calls me with all of her computer problems.

2:00:10She's like, well, this is happening. I'm like, can't really recreate that. You should see my wife. My wife was an IT person. She still is an IT person. When we got her mother an iPod, God rest her soul, she's a great lady, had no clue how to work it, but wanted every single song in the world on that iPod. So one Christmas day, I was in New Mexico, and my brother and sister-in-law had all these CDs. And she's like, Stephen, would you put these on my iPod? I'm like, yeah, sure. Well, they didn't transfer the songs and the titles. I had to type in all the songs. Like, I don't know, 700 songs. Are you kidding? I dipped a can of snuff. I sat up there and put songs on this iPod all day. Are you kidding me? Long shit, no idea. It was so classic. This is a great move by my dad, too. My dad does this thing where he'll, because he's so late to everything, he got iTunes. last year right we all got it 10 years ago my parents still don't have it they still don't have it my dad got it last year and him asking me the questions and him realizing what it does for the very first time he goes so you're saying that if i type in the name of any band or artist that i can think of

2:01:36And then what do I do? What do I press? I go, you click return, Dad. Just hit return on the keyboard. Okay, okay. Let me write that down. And he's writing it down. He's writing the directions down. Yeah, of course. He's writing notes, like scrupulous notes. Yeah. Type in artist name. Hit. What button? What mic? Return. Return. Return. Hit. Return. Okay, and that's it? Yeah. And then what will happen? That artist will come up. Just a song? No, Dad. Everything they've ever... Wow. Just amazed. Just amazed. And then he'll do it, right? So we go to Frank Sinatra. And he sees all these Frank Sinatra songs. And you just see his eyes get giant. And he does one of these. Wow. And I can just buy any of these? Any of them, Dad. That's the problem with iTunes, though. My dad won't buy them. Well, he doesn't want to put his credit card information in it. No, no. He's not going to buy them. He just listens to the 30-second clip. He does the bit of, you bring your old CDs over and show me how to burn them on here. I'm like, all right, dude. M1 Hazel Eyes? Yes. Oh, hey. Yeah, I can totally relate to all that. I had to teach my mom how to use the computer. Until this day, she's been using the computer about two years. She calls me whenever she wants to do something simple.

2:03:06resend an email or something. Me too, Hazel Eyes. Yeah? Me too. Same thing. Your mom has to call you to figure out how to do an email. She does, and I have to walk her through every single step. Click this button, click that button. Like, the computer screen's right in front of me and stuff. Well, where is it? You know? How am I supposed to know? I'm not in front of a computer. That's amazing. She just says that every time and she will never try and figure something out herself. Yeah, well, and that's the deal. I think that parents become like kids. They do. When we were little kids, we didn't want to have to learn it. We just wanted our mom and dad to do it. To do it, yeah. And now that they're older, that's exact. They're like, just do it. My grandma. Just print pictures for me. Can you just print pictures? You know what? I changed your diaper. Just print me a picture. Print the stinking picture. Print me the picture and bring it over. My grandma has post-its like on the VCR and the DVD and the remotes with instructions on how to do everything. She wrote everything out, you know. My dad has documents printed out that tell him how to turn the VCR on. My dad loves to photocopy everything. Photocopy everything. He goes and he like seriously will photocopy it? And scan things. Where's my mimeograph?

2:04:23No, I'll get, like, pictures of things around his office that he scanned. His butt cheeks. And he'll mail them to me. There you go, Dad. I'm getting that thing. It's Lauren's dad texting. Here you go, Dad. It's his version of texting. Oh, forget about it. Yeah, he's texting a Japanese submarine. You know, the funny thing, though, is that some of the elderly are decent. My grandmother has an iPhone. Yeah. And she texts, and she listens to us online and stuff. It's really cool. That's phenomenal. It's awesome. I cannot even imagine my parents texting. No way. My mom. Oh, my God. Best invention ever is texting. When you teach your mother how to text, it's dynamite. My mom and I text all the time. Yeah, me too. It's great. My grandmother is 92 years old. Well, will be 92 years old in like a month. And she has a Facebook page. No way. Does she maintain it? My dad hasn't. No, my cousin set it up for her. Same. Dad, 73. She's got one. Don't let mom on there because he thinks she'll flirt. Hey, quit sniffing around my face. You keep your eyes on your own papers. It's so funny, though, because we're just now we're a generation of technology and our kids are going to be like plebeians, cell phones. I was with you.

2:05:40When we went to your parents' house, we had to go. Mikey and I, before we got the show together, I was out, you know, we were getting things together. And we drove to Mikey's parents' house. And he had a program he wanted to install on his dad's computer. But we also, didn't we have to set up? A modem. A modem. And I'm not the most tech savvy. It was a wireless network. It was wireless. And, dude, I mean, I was under the desk trying to, like, unscrew. I mean, there were so many wires. And he just, Mikey was trying to explain it to him. He was just like, yeah. I'm not getting this a little bit. M1 Andre? It's M1 Andrea. Andrea. Oh, the A was missing. Go ahead. Well, my dad bought himself a universal remote for the TV, DVR, you know, everything set up. So I set it up for him. He can only change the channel once and then manages to completely destroy any settings I have. He changes the channel, then turns off the TV, then changes the channel again. He has to call me every time he wants to watch something. Amazing. I love that. Thank you, Andrea. There's just a series of myself calling in with reports on their parents. Yeah, my brother, when my dad goes and stays at my brother's house, my dad, or my brother will say to my dad, Dad, don't touch anything else but just this button, okay? And my dad goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. We come in the next day and, like, the toaster's running, blender's going off.

2:07:04TVs flashing. I'm like an older person. I swear. I'm the worst. Just the other day, I had to burn a CD for the show, and I'm sitting at the computer going to burn it, and Todd's like, you're doing it wrong. No, you're going to burn all of these other songs. You don't want those. I was like, what do you mean? I don't want those. M1 Kit Kat. Hello? Yeah, you're on the air. I heard you guys talking about texting, and my mom, when she texts, she'll text by the word, and she tells me, Oh, I didn't want to text too much as we charge you by the word, right? Oh. Mom, this isn't a telegraph. By the word. I thought this was like engraving. This isn't Moss Code? That's phenomenal. By the word. Thank you. M1 Allen is on the line. Hi, Allen. Hey, Mikey. What's up? My dad is phenomenal with technology, and he's leaps and bounds better than me. Really? I'm not horrible. But, yeah, he's a CFO. And so every time that I was in college and had to do, like, Excel sheets, I was constantly calling him. Not me. Not my relationship with my pop. You don't know anything. Would you rather? You ready? Yes. Would you rather be way too tan in a gross, unhealthy way or always wear way too much gold jewelry? Easy. What? Gold jewelry.

2:08:29You'd rather wear gold jewelry? 100%. I'd rather be super tan. Big gobs of it? Yeah. Why not? It's cool. Is it? I like gold jewelry anyway. I wear a lot of gold jewelry. No, I mean a lot of it. Absolutely. It's cool. No, M-Dog. Absolutely. MC Meldog signing in. MC Meldog. If you wear that much of it, though, it could be like you're wearing a lot of it. Yeah, that's a lot of jewelry. First of all, Mike. First of all, Mike. Go ahead. I would take either one of those. There's nothing wrong with either one of those. She wants both. Yeah. Would I rather have both? So you're saying that if it were up to you, you would rather be too tan in a gross, unhealthy way and wear... There's no such thing as a gross, unhealthy tan. What if you do it to the point where it's sort of like yours? It's orange. Yeah, that's hot. That is hot. Or you look like a saddlebag? Not like an Oompa Loompa. What about to the point where if you're lying in bed, you're worried that it's going to get on the sheets? Yeah. No, but I use the bulbs. You use the what? Oh, the bulbs. The real tan. The real tan. The bulbs. From the tanning salon. From the salon. With the x-ray rays. What is it? Yeah, x-rays. The x-rays. Yeah, sweetheart. It's got x-rays in it. Yeah. Your nails are killing me. They're so long. They feel good on your back. Oh, weird. Where is he? Good luck to me.

2:09:55You little hairless. I'm herring. I'm hiding underneath the console. Frankie, relax. She likes you. Don't touch me. What about this? Don't do that! When you do it, it's like... Don't! Hey, Frankie, it must be a Brooklyn thing, pal. I know. Yeah, it's a Brooklyn thing, man. Don't touch me! This is a Jersey thing. Don't do that! Come here, you woman. Come here. Come here. I'm going to get to get to go. I'm going to get to get to go. Frankie. Don't touch me. Why do you scream so high? Oh, my goodness. He did not like that. Oh, my goodness. Relax. Freaks me out when you touch me like that, man. Hey, Frankie. Don't touch my hair. Would you rather I do this? Would you rather I do this? Either one, right? Either one trips me out, broad. Broad? You've got to stay away from me. Broad? Who's a broad? You're a broad.

2:10:57I'm a sexy mama. You're right. Ah! Ah! Oh, relax. You can relax. So I'm creeped out. How about this one? Do you either have to change your name every five years or have to move every six months? I move every six months anyway. I still haven't even changed my last name legally. Sienna! Sienna. I had to go to Social Security. Yeah. DMV. Like, oh. What is that? Come on. I know. Todd's like, are you going to come to it? Are you ever going to be my wife, maybe? I changed my name on Facebook, all right? It was a pretty deal. It's official. It should be. If you're a dude, you know, if you're a woman, I think it's kind of easy, right, to change your name just because it's a regular practice that they do all the time. I don't know. Say what? It's a pain. Well, they do it because women get married and change their name. But for like Ocho Cinco, I don't think it was as easy as going down to the DMV and just saying, hey, I got married. I want to be Ocho Cinco. I want to be Ocho Cinco. I think he had to do a process to change his name legally. And it's got to be a long, involved, irritating process. Moving is the worst. Oh, nothing worse. If you could just take the clothes on your back, sign me up for every six months.

2:12:15You actually have to pack the boxes and act. Oh, we move every... We've moved... We've been married for two years, a little over two years, and we've been together a long time, but we've moved five times in... Six times in five years? Five times in six years? Something like that? That's the worst. He's a pro. I'm like a nomad. What is worse than you and your doesn't-know-anything buddy trying to tape doors shut? On a desk that you have too much stuff in. Because you're too lazy to take everything out of it. Oh, dude. You should see me move. When I move out of this apartment that I live in now, all the dishes and glasses, I'll just give them away. If you want them, come get them. Wow. So what would you rather do, Mike? I would rather change my name every five years. I'd rather change my name every five days. Than move. I think me too. There's nothing worse than moving. I don't know. No, I don't mind it that much. Moving? Well, yeah, no, it sucks. I guess what's happened with me is that... Sometimes it's hard giving lemonade to the moving people. You know what I mean? Like, I've thrown a few things in a box every now and again, but I've only moved, like, two blocks in each time. Like, I've lived in the same neighborhood my entire life, so it's really not that hard. No way. Forget it. I don't want any part of moving. I got it. Dude, you don't understand. I'm on a countdown right now.

2:13:39I've got to fly home, I've got to pack a trailer, I've got to empty a house, and I've got to drive 22 hours. Then I have to unpack and move into a new house here. What about MacGruber? I like where I live. I've been slowly building it out the whole time, so I would not want to leave it. I'd just change my name. It would be kind of fun to be like, today my name is Sandra. Sandra. Would you rather date somebody who talks way too loud? Woods. Or someone who looks like he or she is constantly staring. Loud. Loud? See, I can't stand the people that whisper. Staring. You know the people that are just so quiet? I'm like, speak up! Take staring. You would take staring? Yeah, I'd take staring. I think I'd take the staring. So you're with someone at a restaurant. Staring. And they're doing one of these to the person next to you. And the person next to you is like... What the hell are you looking at? I think you can learn to tune that out. Oh, for sure. No way! If you're dating Fran Drescher, it's not that easy. Yeah, exactly. Or you're dating a person who's like, oh my gosh, babe! No. I can't concentrate when I'm trying to do something and something's too loud around me. I just can't concentrate. With me and Rebecca, it's the opposite. I'm like, what, babe?

2:15:05Every five seconds I say to my wife, what, babe? She's quiet. To the point where I thought, man, she hears me say what, babe? I say it all the time. I do this, huh? Yeah. Todd says I say what too much. Like, even if I do understand them, I'm like, wait, what? You know? I know. Maybe I do. I don't know. It's a bit. It's a bit. Mason Jennings. The song's called Butterfly. Want to do Woods of Wisdom? Sure. All right. We ready? Yeah, we're ready. I'm all dressed up in your words today. If you want to ask Wood something, you can call. And if you want to email him. Yep. Heard it. Got it. My heart just jumped. On it. That's so scary. Got it. Did it. On it. Nicely done, Mikey. Done it. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Long day, honey? Uh-huh. I desperately need a trip to Blissville.

2:16:07Let's go. I'm totally craving a frappe at Mickey D's. A frappe what? Frappe. You're not making any sense. A frappe, as in McCafe frappe. What are you talking about? McDonald's takes a little coffee magic ice. serious sweetness, then puts it on a blender and makes a delicious cup of perfection. Wow. In mocha or caramel flavors. Nice. I drop a straw through the whipped cream and chocolate or caramel drizzles, and suddenly, I'm on a fast train to Blissville. There room for two on that ride? McDonald's new sweet-blended iced McCafe frappes, made with a hint of coffee and real whipped cream. Your day just got a little cooler and a whole lot sweeter. So how was your first train to Blissville? Sweet. I'm thinking of making one more stop at the...

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2:20:47Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by 99 cents only stores. Satisfy your sweet tooth today. 99 cents only stores has eight packs of Nestle fun-sized bars for only 99.99 cents each. Choose from Baby Ruth, Butterfinger Crunch, and 100 grand. We go to some slow and go traffic on 78 westbound before Rancho Santa Fe Road. We had three large wooden pallets in the roadway. Those are now cleared. However, traffic, a little sluggish passing that. Carlsbad 5 southbound, Rancho Palomar Airport Road. That stalled car now cleared from the roadway. Move to the shoulder. Slow and go out there. 56 westbound from Karma Valley Road to El Camino Real. Traffic also brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper is guaranteed to be 99.99% jam free. Don't you wish traffic was Hammer Mill Paper? No worries. I'm Elena O'Brien, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The auto-tune stuff is great. You love it. Oh, I can't get enough of it. I think it sounds great in my ears. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! Sienna. I like a beer belly. I'm going to tell you that right now. And Jay. Howdy-ho, neighbors. On FM 94.9. The band is metric. Guess what I have in my hand? Oh, boy. I have a...

2:22:16Mikey Show M1 Nation FM 94.9 bumper sticker. It is a beaut. How about that? They look so rad. Mikey, they look right. They do look great. They look great. And we are going to be giving these to the public. And we will have an announcement about that very soon. It's the coolest Mikey Show sticker I've ever seen. It's awesome. It's going on my whip today, dude. It's good. Like it. Love it, love it. Really cool. Love it. And we will get a picture of it up online. Can you put it on your car today? Like, is that okay if we put them up? Or do we need to wait? I mean, I kind of work here, so. Well, I know. I understand. I'm going to make it right. I kind of want to be the first dude. I kind of want to be the guy. I want to be the guy out there doing the grassroots. Yeah. I'm going to make it right. I'm going to put it on there today. We're going to give them the public. Very soon. Very. Want to do some Woods of Wisdom? Yes. You know it. We got some Woods of Wisdom. It's freezing. Oh, my gosh. Here's some wisdom for you. Maybe don't make our studio a meat locker. How about that? Really? It's cold in here. It's freezing. Is it? It's got to be down to 70. We have sandals. Did Lauren have sandals? Yeah. We're all rocking sandals now. I'm not wearing a fisherman's knitted sweater either. Okay?

2:23:47It's too little Woods of Wisdom. And you can call 570-1949 if you want to ask Woodsy a question for Woods of Wisdom. He answers guy stuff, you know? I mean, if you have guy type questions, he answers them. I know. I want to ask him girl questions. I can help the ladies too. Yeah, yeah. I'd go to one too. Why not, right? I can help the ladies. You know that. All right. We'll do that too. Let's do it. This one's from Matt. He says, Woodsy, I'm recently divorced and don't have a lot of time between starting my business and taking care of my son. Where do I start meeting women? Easy. Online. That's the best move for that guy. He's starting a business. He's got a kid. That dude, the last thing he needs to be doing is going out. If you said that 10 years ago, you'd be laughed out of the studio. Absolutely. Did he say how old the kid is? No. He didn't. No. But here's the deal. He's taking care of his son. That's obviously priority number one. Starting your business, priority number two. Lady friend, priority number three. Dude, try Match.com. Try eHarmony.

2:24:49Find somebody else that's a kindred spirit and make that right, man. I think that's a good suggestion. But I think, like, a huge one would be to sign your kid up for some sort of extracurricular activity. Because there's always other parents there. And that's how you kind of, like, make friends that way. And you have your common interest right there. Bam, that's my kid. I'm single. You know, throw it out there. I could also join a jogging club. Yeah. A jogging club? Jogging. That's right. What about a dog park? If he has a dog, that's a great place to meet people. What about a kid park? Yeah. Go to the park. But then you could be that creep that's like, look, I'm just trying to have fun with my kid. Don't hit on me. Yeah. Just out here swinging my kid. You don't start off like, hey, babe. You know, it's like, oh, your daughter's beautiful. You know, she looks a lot like you or something. We should get married. No. But as a guy saying that, that just might come off creepy. Yeah. Unless it was me. How old is your child? 44. What are you doing here? M1 Brett says, here you go, Woodsy. And I've actually thought about this one, too, by the way. It's a good one. It is a good one. It says, here you go, Woodsy. Is it okay, guy or girl, to kiss your parents on the mouth? You guys have seen this. And I'll tell you this. Right now, my son is three. Rebecca kisses Jake on the lips all the time. Yeah. Now.

2:26:11You know, because you've seen that a lot of times this doesn't stop for a while. I kiss my mom in the mouth. You do? I do. It says. That's weird. That's weird. That's weird. That's weird. It's not. I'm just going to go ahead and say it. It says, is it okay for parents to kiss their kids on the lips? You wouldn't believe the conversations that we've had about this in our office. Let's talk. That is such a great question. It's a great question. Great question. I love that. Because culturally. It's something that is accepted. I mean, especially when you talk to moms. You talk to moms and you're going to hear, nobody tells me I'm not going to stop kissing my son on the lips. Kiss my baby, yep. Kiss my baby. Yeah, that's my baby, that's my son, blah, blah, blah. But like when they get to puberty? We do it like this. It's like, muah, like that. It's not, I mean, it's like this. Bye, mama, muah. And you've done that forever. Yeah, and it's not even, sometimes it's not every time, but I have no problem kissing my mom on the lips. My mom. I have never, ever done that. But Jake does. If I was Jamie and I saw that. I kiss my dad on the cheek and I kiss my mom on the lips. Do not kiss my dad on the cheek. I do. My dad would sock me right in the... The kid's very affectionate. I know. That is true. The kid is very affectionate. And that's a really cool quality about him. I'm a hugger. It's sometimes a little strange when he kisses the top of my bald head. Yeah. It is true.

2:27:34Because he's really tall. Does he do that? He does. I wouldn't be surprised. Way less now than he did in Dallas. In Dallas. I would do it. That was all the time. He would come up to me. He would put his arm around me. And he would go. Ew. And he would kiss me right on top of the head. Wiping your head. Who are the manliest men I know? The Sopranos. They kiss each other every day. Oh. Every day. They're fictional characters. Based on true people. You know people in the mafia definitely kiss each other? Yeah. They asked me to be a part of the mafia. But I took this job instead. Frankie. What, dude? What, dude? Like in Brooklyn, man. That's like the normal thing. That's the thing to do in Brooklyn. Yeah, like in Brooklyn. Well, you guys give each other a little smooch. Why not? So you say that's fine then, Woods. Yeah, I got no problem with it. But I still have questions. What about, like, because dads, like, do you kiss Jake on the lips? No. Did you ever? No. Kiss him on the cheek? But that's okay with little kids. I kiss him on the forehead. See, I think if he's three, I think is okay. Yeah. No. Eventually, I think when the kid starts getting to like kindergarten, maybe stop. No, I still kiss him on the lips. Yeah. Jasper kissed him. Just jump right in my lap, kiss me around the lips. No big deal. Yeah. I think that's adorable. Yeah, when they get older, they don't want to kiss you on the lips. They don't even want to touch you. Do you kiss your daughters on the lips? No, we hug.

2:28:57Puberty. Awkward kind of. Yeah. I saw Maddie give, I saw Maddie give Jay the ass out hug. Like the, you know, I'm not going to put my boobs against my dad. Like that hug. They get over that though. The daughters. Really? I give my dad like a bear hug now. Yeah. She's like 21 though. So. Yeah. I'm like a year older. Fair enough. Let's see. M1. Matthew has a question for Woodsy. You there, Matthew? Hey, yeah, what's going on? Thanks, guys. What up? Okay, look, I got a question for you. My girlfriend has been logging on to my email. Uh-oh. And I don't know what to do about that. Fire her. Immediately, pal, because it's not going to get any better, okay? What do you mean by she's been logging on? That's invasion of privacy. I need to hear more. Can you hear us? Yeah, I always leave my email.

2:29:58Signed off every time. Right. Because I don't want people going in. You know what? You got nothing to hide, right? No. Right. No. Why'd you have to think about it? No, he didn't. I believe this guy. And you know what, man? To be honest with you, if she's doing that, then she has the problem. It's not your problem. Dude, I would have a major conversation. But how do you know it was her? Oh, really? Was it the computer bandit? It's the email logging in fairy. How does he know that she's doing this? How do you know? I sign out all the time from my email. I never leave it signed in. And I came home and my computer was on and I just pulled up Internet Explorer and there it was already my email. Are you sure you signed off? She's sniffing around. Are you sure you signed off? I always sign off. Every time I sign off. Yep. Yeah, and I know this is the second time this has happened. Oh, yikes. And, you know, and I don't know. I don't know what she's looking for, you know. But, you know, she, I don't know. She can kind of be a little bit like wanting to know where I am, you know. Weird. I think you're jumping to conclusions. I think you run, pack a bag, and run for the hills, pal. I have a question. Sienna. Yeah.

2:31:10How exactly is a man jumping to conclusions if his email has been signed on? I mean, I understand for him to raise an eyebrow. All right. Yeah. But maybe like, I don't know. I'm trying to think from her point of view, if there was a reason that she needed to get on there. Oh, really? Guys immediately think snooping. Of course snooping. Okay. What if it's like she's having a party or something and she wants some of those guys information or she has a question about him? You. Tell him. No, but maybe it's just a surprise. You ask him. You say to him, hey, can I get so-and-so's email? Maybe he, you know, I don't know. Maybe she wants his. You can't just ask. The prosecution rests. Thank you. No, no, no. She may want to surprise him. Your Honor, I've got no further objection. Well, you don't just run for the pills, first of all. You confront her. It's not going to get any better. Oh, my goodness. She should at least have a chance to explain herself. Crazy. Okay, you guys. You guys. Wait, so I don't even know it was her. Police. Okay, let me ask him. How do you know, like, does she know your password? I mean, obviously I didn't think she did, but she must have figured it out somehow. It's like a sports team or something, isn't it? Yeah, how did she figure it out? It's easy to figure it out. I mean, I don't know. That's a crazy thing, and I don't know. I mean.

2:32:35Like, I don't know how computers, I'm not that great with computers, so I don't know, you know, if she could have figured it out or if it got stored in there somewhere. I'm not sure. She figured it out. Everything. Girlfriends or boyfriends looking at logging into emails is a symptom of something that's not good. It's, you know, there's trust. Trust issues. Now, my wife has access to all my stuff. No. She can go on my email. My email is constantly open. Mine too. My Facebook. Mine three. Mine four. Woods. Mine four. Mine four. Why? Woodsy. What? Are you the only person here that does not give full disclosure? She can have it. Really? Yes. No, she can't. You are such a liar. Here's the deal. Like when I got married. I'm not used to this sharing everything bit of like, hey, let's have the same bank account. Let's share the same brain. She has her own damn email account. I don't look at hers. Why does she need to look at mine? Well, she doesn't need to, but she can. If she needs it that bad, she can have it. Oh, wow. But I don't care. That sounds very inviting. I don't need to look at her Facebook. I'm not that kind of person. You don't have to. I don't care. You don't have to. I trust her.

2:33:51I'm not saying you don't trust her. I'm not married, and I don't. And my stuff is open all the time. Just because sometimes I'll be like, I'll have to. Look at Woods. Woods just squinted at you like, can you just give me a break over here? He just gave me a look like, yeah, just give me a break, all of you. I'm just saying it's one less step for me. You guys just being perfect or what? Yeah. It's one less step for me to log in and log out. You guys just being perfect? You guys just being perfect, having perfect relationships? Perfect trustworthiness. Here's the deal. Perfect town. I don't need to look at Matt's and Matt doesn't need to look at mine, but I don't need to sign out either. She has a laptop. I have a laptop, right? Yeah, so do we. Okay, so I'm not going to be like, hey, let's exchange. You check mine and I'll check yours. I just don't care. If there's something, I don't care. Do you leave it open then? Yeah, I would leave my computer open. I would never leave my computer open. Okay, okay. I don't know why. That was the greatest sound clip I've ever heard in my life. Of course I would leave it open. No, I would never leave it open. That was like Charlie Murphy doing Rick. I don't know why. Matthew? I'm determined to help her. Matthew? Yeah. Was anything amiss or was it all normal? In the email? Yeah, in your emails. Was it all normal or was there anything weird or out of place? No, I mean...

2:35:15I think everything was fine, but I don't even know how to check that. Yeah, I don't either. Okay, Matthew. All right. I'm just, I have to play the devil's advocate. She's not here to defend herself. And I think, you know, do you guys celebrate Easter? Yeah. Because like for me. Maybe she's buying you eggs. Maybe she's trying to contact the Easter bunny for your email. Yeah, dude. Maybe she didn't want you to know that she's trying to get the Easter bunny. You guys. You guys. Maybe. Like for me. It's not crazy. I'm trying to help her. Maybe. Sienna, you're fighting a lost cause. No. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Someone has to stand up for her. Sienna. What? Crazy. No. She's crazy. I understand where you guys are coming from in assuming that she's doing this. We're coming from crazy town. Yeah. Okay. But for me, for Easter, like I'll get Todd an Easter present. Maybe. And I like to snoop on his email to get it for him. Yeah, for sure. No. No. But maybe she like is wanted a friend's email secretly because she doesn't have a phone number, one of his friends. So she could email be like, hey, what's I forget what, you know, his favorite something is or. She doesn't know one.

2:36:26Yeah, and maybe I'll become an astronaut and get to walk on the sun. Sienna's right, though. It's going to be amazing. He just needs to ask her because it could be that she was snooping, and he should be able to ask her point blank and be able to tell if she was snooping or if she was doing something, like Sienna said, like getting an Easter present. M1 Confused is on the line. M1 Confused, are you there? M1 Confused, are you there? No. Maybe I'm answering it wrong. They're confused. Wait, is that it? M1 Confused, are you there? Hey, guys. Hey. Okay, so here's the story. Another relationship question. Been dating someone for about the last three months. Wait, wait, wait, wait. One at a time. Stop, stop, stop. Hang on. You're not changing the subject, are you? What do you mean? I mean, we're still in the whole email, checking your email, getting into your email deal, right? No, this is kind of a different... Oh, yeah. Call about that another time. Email us. Email us your question. Email Woods of Wisdom. This is for Woods of Wisdom. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm totally captivated by email guy right now. Everyone confused just got us really confused. You got us confused. That's a great name. What about someone who's been denied twice meeting the person that he's dating, Fred?

2:37:47This man needs an answer to this question right now. Put him on hold. We're going to put you on hold. We'll come back to you. We'll come back. We'll deal with you. He needs help. Wow. He's freaking out. He's like, you SOBs don't let me off this line. All right. Until this question is answered. I'm not going. Now back to Matthew. Crazy. I still feel like maybe he forgot to log off. No way. Twice he said it. Yeah, that's true. It's a habit, man. I know. The twice gets me. The twice, yeah. It gets me. If it's a habit, yeah. But he said he's not that computer savvy. Here's the deal. Like, I don't log out. I don't log out of my Facebook, but I don't log. I never log out. Like, if Jamie opened my computer right now and went to Facebook, it would say Steve Woods. She could look at everything, right? But my email is a Yahoo account. I don't log out of my email. So if she wanted to borrow my laptop, she would have access to it. So I don't have to sign in every time I log in. So I'm not a creep. I just don't give her my laptop to say, here, have a ball. If you guys, you know, when she comes back, she moves. Will you guys have a desktop computer? Probably not. Okay, let's say I gave you one. Okay. There's a brand new one. It's nice. Sure. It's community.

2:39:06Oh. Sure. What? Absolutely, Mike. He is so uncomfortable right now. I am not. I have nothing to hide. His butt cheeks clenched up. I have nothing to hide, dude. And if you don't either, then you need to confront her. I know my wife. It's almost something. I'm not going to want to start. I'm digging myself in a hole. But here's the deal. If I gave you a computer. If you gave us a computer. And it was in your house. Yep. And it was in, like, a community office that you guys had. Yep. would you have your email up, on, and left? Sure. I have nothing to hide. I used to not know any of Todd's stuff, and now he's told me all of his passwords to everything. And it's like, I have no desire to even look at it now that I know. Right. Now, what if Todd the God, what if one of his old girlfriends wrote him an email? You would be freaking mad. No, I don't think one of them would, though. No, what if they did?

2:40:04Yeah, what if they did? What does that say about him, though? Yeah. Nothing. How am I going to control what Joe Schmoe writes? Exactly. So if your old girlfriend, Joanne Schmoe, wrote you an email. Joanne Schmoe. You know, Joe Schmoe. You would tell Rebecca. Yeah, I have told Rebecca. Right? Yeah. I've gotten an email from Joe Schmoe, and I've told her, hey, Joe wrote me an email, and I just want to let you know. And she goes, well, thank you for telling me. I'd play that same card. Now, I know this. I also know that it spun her out. Of course. It did. It did. And every girl that's listening is saying to themselves, I want to know. But if you're being honest, you'll also admit that you don't like what you think about for the rest of the next two days. Well, what if... This was her. She was like, why does she still feel the need to... And then four hours later, the same. I just can't get over why she feels like she's... She's not mad at me. She's not mad at me. She's not mad at me. She's just venting about that girl. And why does she still... She doesn't get it. We have kids. Maybe deep down, she's wondering, why have you not nipped that in the bud? I have.

2:41:19You have. Yeah. And she knows it. OK. She knows I have. Yeah. I mean, here's the deal. Out of every girl I've ever dated, there is one girl that I'll get an email maybe once a quarter from. It's my girlfriend from college. And she's got three kids. You know, I'm married and it's like, hey, how are you? How's your mom? Everything's great. And it's one of those. But my wife seeing that would flip out on the flip side. If I saw one of her ex-boyfriends like. How's your family? Yo, your husband looks like a sharp dude. He looks very handsome. He's probably really cool. Stop it. It wouldn't bother me one bit. I'm not that kind of person. And I'm sure that's what he would say. I'm sure that's what the guy would say to Jamie. Jamie was married before, right? Correct. What about her ex-husband? I would flip out. Exactly. But they were married. It doesn't matter. I have an ex, too, in the mix. That I would flip out. It's not fun. They don't have kids. There's no reason for them to speak. But it's an ex. That is the sweet point. If it was him and you knew Jamie loved him. I would choke him out. I would choke him out. Then it would get you. I would choke him out. Matthew. Yo. Yeah. Do you have, how many serious ex-girlfriends do you have? Three.

2:42:23Who was the most recent? The most recent? Probably, I mean, me and her probably broke up like two years ago. Let's call her Melissa so we don't have to give a real name. Let's call her Melissa. The ex? Yeah, the last one that you had, Melissa. Does Melissa ever still write you? I mean, sometimes, but maybe I've gotten two emails from her since, like, all the breakup stuff was over. Does your girlfriend know? Does your girlfriend now, the one that definitely and certainly and 100% was snooping through your email? Give her the benefit of the doubt. Well, here, a better way to identify her. Does she know that the ex writes you? I mean, we never talked about it. I mean, she might know about it now, right? But we never talked about it. Here's the deal, dude. If we want to boil it down to advice. the advice would be you need to call her on it. Yeah. You need to call her on it and say, listen, I got something I need to talk to you about. Did you go through my email? And not, actually, yeah, be accusatory, man. Did you go through my email? Yeah, that definitely worked. Maybe not accusatory, just be up front. Is that going to open like a whole new can of worms? Oh, absolutely.

2:43:40Absolutely it's going to. And if it does, that will be telling for you. It's obviously bothering you. You should just say, look, okay, I have a question. Like, you know, I'm trying not to jump to conclusions, but this has happened a couple times. When I've come home, I know that I log off my email. And I don't do that because I have something to hide, you know, or else you're going to come across like, well, what are you trying to hide? Which is a whole nother question. Yeah, isn't that weird? Sienna said it perfectly. But it doesn't matter. Okay, so here's my question. Is this guy a creep because he logs out of his email every time? No. Why? But he's not transparent. He's got to be 100% transparent with every freaking person you know. Everybody's going to have your stuff. Maybe he doesn't want a robber to come in. A robber. A robber. Can I say, as a man, I'm saying that I think that if you log in and out of your email, there's something kind of strange. I think so, too. I think there's something up. Well, if you, yeah. Okay. Like, if he's noticing that, like. Dude, you may be having something to hide. Maybe it's a habit. Maybe he's a private dude like me. It's easier to not log in and out. Maybe he's a more private person like me. Really? Yeah. Private? Yeah. Is that it? You're so private. Yeah, he tells us every detail. I need my privacy, you know? You are the most non-private person ever. Damn it. I know too much about you. You just showed us your chest for the third time this week. All right. No, no, no. We go on number four. Good luck, Matthew.

2:45:00All right. Thank you, guys. All right. We'll see you. We didn't give the guy an answer. I know. And we gave him no answer. I want to hear what happened, though, if you're still listening. And I also want to talk to a dude that really needs our help. Let's see if he's there. Well, we'll have Jay find this guy because there's another guy on that just was in need. M1 Confused. M1 Confused. Call back, Confused. We want to help. Yeah. We can deal with you. This is Moby. Crafting this broadcast. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. Think back to when you were a kid. Remember building stuff with building blocks or maybe getting all the cushions off the couch and building a fort? Your imagination went wild.

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2:50:29Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Advil. Get the facts and join millions who count on Advil for relief. Relief doesn't get any better than this. Advil. Escondido 15 northbound before Old Highway 395. Watch out there for a shovel in the left lane. Slow-go traffic continues 52 westbound starting at Convoy Street, continuing out to Interstate 5. More delays if you're making your way through 805 northbound direction between Balboa Avenue heading out to Governor Drive. Traffic is also brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper is guaranteed to be 99.9. 9% jam free. Don't you wish traffic was? Hammer, mail, paper. No worries. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Modest Mouse. Jay speaking of music today. Welcome back. It's the Mikey Show. We'll be getting to some of those phone calls here in just a second. People seeking some woods of wisdom. And we're waiting for Confused to call back. Hey, M1 Confused, if you're still listening, we'd love to talk to you, bro. I really want to know, yeah. I do too. I want to know what's going on. So we have the Alpine Girls Softball. A few of the girls from the Alpine School Girls Softball. Good cookies. We had cookies. That's right. Yeah, I've already eaten three. So have I. Weird. You guys just slayed a half a dozen cookies. Half dozen. That is awesome.

2:52:17Let's go in a row here and tell me your name. Step up the microphone and tell me your name. Tori O'Reilly. How old are you, Tori? Thirteen. And? Olivia Griptover. How old are you? Twelve. Coral Aiken, eleven. Awesome. And you girls are on the Alpine girls softball team, right? Yes. Now, the reason I'm having you on here is because Olivia's dad works here, right? It's Olivia's dad? Coral's dad. Coral's dad works here. And you guys are going to be doing something really, really special, right? What are you guys going to be doing? Right into the microphone. Breaking the world record softball game. We're going to play 38 hours of softball. Really? Unbelievable. 38 hours. Okay, so do you sleep? Yeah, we take shifts between every age group. And so each group will get to sleep for a shift and then it'll be. People's turns. Really? That is amazing. And it'll just keep going for 38 straight hours. Can I play? Woods. Does that sound fun? I would do it in a heartbeat. Would you really? In a heartbeat, man. Yeah, Woods is a pitcher. Well, not in softball. I play shortstop and second base and outfield. Who's counting? Yeah, who's counting. But I would do that for 38 hours. I'd love it. That sounds great. It's the greatest thing ever. Now, you guys are doing this because you're raising money for Rady Children's Hospital?

2:53:46Okay, now who wants to be the spokesperson to tell me all about that and how it's going to work? Who wants to do that? Any of you guys? Okay, so when we're starting to raise money for this fundraiser, people can sponsor us or corporate sponsors can sponsor us. And then half of what we raise, 50% of it will go to help Rady's Children's Hospital and half of it will help to make new fields for Alpine girls softball. That is cool. Nicely done. That is cool. All right. Now, when is this going to happen? And how can people actually, what do people need to do? How do we help? How do we help? And what can listeners listening right now, how can they instantly get involved? Great. And thanks, Mike, for having us on the show. Sure. We really appreciate the support of 94.9 and The Mikey Show. Thank you. We have a website set up at worldrecordsoftball.com. Okay. And we're asking all the viewers, all the people in the community here in San Diego to help support us. So when you go to worldrecordsoftball.com, it's very easy to sponsor an individual player and donate online. Also, at this time, we're looking for local businesses, companies, corporations in Southern California to step up and become.

2:55:04corporate sponsors for the program. That'd be cool. Yeah, we have a goal this year to raise $80,000. That would be a really big help for Alpine Girls Softball Field Fund. And our main focus this year is to help Rady's Children's Hospital. What a wonderful program they have there. I don't know if the viewers know out there, but each year Rady's cares for more than 130,000 children in California. With very serious medical challenges. Yeah. It's a non-profit hospital. Love Rady. Yeah. So they really look for the communities to step up and help them out also. My son Jake, who is autistic, has been a part of their toddler school. And they really helped him out. And I can't even tell you how much he grew in that program. And so I love Rady Children's Hospital. It's, you know, whenever the Mikey Show does anything fundraising. you know, kind of deal. It's always about Rady Children's Hospital. Just absolutely love them. And so I think this is great. I love that you guys are doing it. And it's a cool thing. 38 hours of softball is cool. And so one more time with that web address so that people can go there. Yes, it's worldrecordsoftball.com. You can contact us there if you would like to be a corporate or business sponsor. And then also anybody that's interested in sponsoring an individual player can step up at that point and sponsor online.

2:56:29And on that note, Coral has a very important question for you, Mikey, when it comes to personal sponsorship. What is it, Coral? Can you sponsor me? Absolutely. You got mine, too. Absolutely. You got it. I will absolutely sponsor you. I think it's fantastic. I think it's a great cause, and I absolutely will. And please get involved in it. I mean, if you're listening, it's such a cool cause, and that money's going to some really cool stuff. Thank you guys so much. Thank you for your support. We really appreciate it. You bet. Once again, if I can mention our website for people to write down out there. Please. WorldRecordSoftball.com. Check it out. Step up and help us with our event. That is very, very cool. Thanks, guys. We appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for those cookies. They're good. Good luck. Good luck. Thank you, brother. Appreciate it, man. See you later. Hit them where they ain't. Thanks for your help. That's right. Good luck, girls. Anytime you want to bring more cookies, you know, we're right here. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Yeah. And if you guys ever want to bring more cookies. Yeah, we will. We'll be here. They're like peanut butter, chocolate chips. They are delicious. Like sugar crystals. And they made them themselves. I'm going to donate myself to Coral. Yeah. Yeah. I think she wanted Mikey Woods. Well, I think she meant the Mikey show. I know. I'm just kidding. Let's see.

2:57:53We're getting so many text messages. Oh, boy. 949mikey at gmail.com. Well, this guy said that his girl was looking at his email. Hey, guys, I think his computer... Allegedly. Allegedly. It is allegedly. It is not allegedly. You know better, Sienna. Stop jumping, people. Stop jumping. What if it was your significant other? Like, have the benefit of the doubt? How's Todd's Facebook page? Oh, wow. Hey, I keep looking for Todd Farrar. I can't find him on Facebook. Wow. I'm not looking for it. It's Todd the God. Oh, Todd the God Farrar. Sienna's face just got red like a tomato. I'd have no problem because call my man, Todd. He doesn't want Facebook. Yes, he does. No, he doesn't. He's not the only one. He's not the only Farrar that doesn't want it. He's not the only Farrar that doesn't want him to have a Facebook. I have told you guys I don't want him to have one. Why? Because I don't need girls posting stupid stuff. Yeah, and she doesn't need this drama that we all are talking about. See all of this drama right now? It's being avoided. That's right. Get. That's not my voice, Mike. All you girls, get.

2:59:08I know it's raspy, but it's not that bad. Away from Todd the God, get! I will chokeslam you. I will chokeslam you. You should get near him, okay? Girls are vicious when it comes to their men. Todd knows who he married, and I will take someone down. Wow! I will. Here's the deal. Hey, I don't want any part of the cyclone, man. Girls that are listening, you don't want no part of this one over here. Neither of them. Neither of them. Both rip your throat out. Yeah. Carry on with their day. You guys just have to give the poor girl who has not been able to defend herself, her boyfriend calls and says, oh, it was logged in, my email. He doesn't know. Really? He doesn't know. Stop playing. Greatest drop ever. My wife, too, man. Back in the day. Back in the day. I'm sure I can tell this story now. Well, you're going to. Oh, yeah, you're going to anyway. If not, just catch a little hell when you get home. You're fine. Don't worry about it. Better ask for forgiveness than permission. Absolutely. That's my motto. I hadn't talked to this particular gal for a while. Gal. I already don't like her, by the way.

3:00:26Rebecca, I got you on this. Yeah, right? Weird. Rebecca and I were breaking up. Weird. Doesn't matter. Oh, and somebody swooped in for the kill. Weird. We were breaking up, and Rebecca thought that maybe there were some shenanigans involved. Were there? No. Was there shenanigans on this other girl's part? No, actually, I take that back. Women's intuition. We know. There were some shenanigans involved. Yes. But it wasn't with this girl. Oh. So here's what happened. You shenaner you. Yeah. You dirty boy. Yeah. She went on to my email and she forwarded this really loving email that I had sent to her, Rebecca. She forwarded it to the girl that she thought went into my address book, found her, who she thought the shenanigans were with. And forwarded it to her. To see what her response would be. To see what the response would be. Of course. Brilliant. And the response was immediate. I got a phone call and she was like, I just got a forward from your email to Rebecca. And it was like really loving and stuff. And I go, huh. Did you flip? Mikey, Mikey. Did you flip? I flipped. I would have flipped. But.

3:01:56At the same time, you guys said, was there shenanigans going on? There was kind of shenanigans going on. It just wasn't this girl. When you're telling this story right now, are you or are you not just touched in your heart that Rebecca loved you that much? That is like. That's a woman. That's a woman that just did that. And gentlemen, this is what we deal with on an everyday basis. So it's no wonder things get out of hand sometimes. I just looked at Sienna like... What? And Lauren looked at Tiana like, I know, right? You guys, we're doing it because it's like something comes over you. You know, you and Woods both know, mister, we just broke up or I did something wrong and I'm going to call 50 times in a row. Crazy. Something comes over you. I'm crazy for feelings.

3:02:54I still am going to back up this girl. Weird. Because I don't think she was snooping. I think that he's jumping. What was she doing? What was she doing? She wanted to get an Easter gift. No way. She wanted to get the Easter gift. She wanted to surprise him. Can we, is he going to call back or something? Can we get an update? 570-1949. Got to hear what happens. Because I want to hear the girl. She has an argument. No doubt. Because even if she was snooping, which she wasn't. What if she wasn't cheating? What if she wasn't she? What if she was a he? No. Mike? Yeah. What if she was a he? What if it was a shim? Yeah. What if it was a shim? What if it was a robber? What if dude looks like a lady came in and got onto his email? What if his name was Skaren? Yeah. What if Skaren? Steve and Karen. Steve and Karen. Mixed together. Yeah. So Skaren came over. You guys are grasping at straws. This girl is a snoop. This girl is a snoop. She doesn't trust him. He can't be sure of that, and so he should just confront her. Crazy. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. To confront someone. What if the wind blew in his password? What if? What if the maintenance man came in and needed to check his email? What if his cat was crawling around? You know what? Maybe the super of the building installed one of those keystroke recorders. Right. And then he went and figured out his password. Yeah. That could be it.

3:04:10What if it was Iraqi intelligence? It could be. And they thought that he was somehow involved in some plot against Iraq. The guy has said that he's not very computer, like he's computer illiterate. He basically said, so maybe he doesn't realize if he's logging on or off. And now he's paranoid because he's up to shenanigans. He knows. So he's trying to cover his tracks. That's a good point. Why is he paranoid? He knows. You guys. He's up to shenanigans. He knows. You guys are annoying. Let's put it back on him. He's the one that's shenanigans. He knows. Okay, Mikey, didn't you say to Woods, turning this back around, didn't you say to Woods it's a little peculiar that he doesn't give his wife his login, that he's so anal about making sure it's logged off? Woods didn't say that. I said that. That's what I said. I said, didn't you say? I thought that you said I was all right, Spider. Yeah, I thought you said Spider. No, I did. You said it was something. So I got to write down my password, all my passwords for my wife now. All right, honey, I'm going to email you all my passwords later. Maybe he is shady. Maybe he is. But so is she. So is she. And back in the day, I admitted it to you. I'm not this way anymore. I'm a different person. But back in the day, I was shady. And so was my lovely lady. They don't trust each other then. This needs to be brought to life. Yeah, yeah. And that was my deal with.

3:05:30My girlfriend, Rebecca, who's now my wife, and we fixed it. What if she had, like, really good intentions and was trying to get him something? I think she had really good intelligence that was figuring things out, figuring out passwords, figuring out keystrokes. They need to talk it out. Let's see. M1L? Hi. Hi. What were you calling to say? Okay, so I have a story on the flip side of all this. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. And he will not let me even touch his phone. But sometimes he'll leave his email up. Sometimes he'll have logged it out. But we have separate computers, so I'm never on his computer anyway. Now, what do you mean when you say he won't let you touch his phone? What are you trying for? Like, you know what I mean? Like, how does that come up to where you're like, like dialing something on it? And he's like, what are you doing? I mean, how does it come up that he's like?

3:06:28Get off my phone. Maybe he has a past of someone that did something. Well, I want to know how it actually comes up. She said, let me see how your keys work compared to mine. Yeah. Is this an American phone? Everybody's always so interested in what the other person has. Well, no. I mean, if someone's calling him, I'll, like, pick it up and try to hand it to him. And, like, you know, I'll just look to see who it is. Yeah, weird. Or to tell him who it is. And he'll be like, why do you look at who it is? Weird. And he'll get all defensive about it. Wonder why. Or I'll be like, hey, you have a text message. And I'll open it. And he'll be like, well, give me my phone. Don't go through my phone. Seriously. Wait, wait, wait. What kind of phone does he have? Some rinky-dinky little flip phone. Okay, so when he has a text, it just says text? Yeah, until you open it. Okay, so why would you open it? He's so freaked out about it. Maybe he's planning a surprise party for you, and he doesn't want you to know.

3:07:31Now she's intrigued. Crazy. You guys, that is not crazy. That's crazy. She can't look at his phone if it's ringing to help him out and say he's calling. You have a text on your phone. Okay, Mikey, if someone called you and Rebecca looked at it, you wouldn't think for a second because you're not doing anything wrong. This guy might be doing something wrong. I don't want to say that because I don't want to jump to conclusions like you guys. If I had a phone, though. It's a Mac. If I had a phone that was one of those closed phones. Yeah. They had to open it to see what the text was. If I had one of those and it said text. I don't see Rebecca going, you have a text message. Shall I read it to you? Shall I read it to you? I can open it up and read it to you. Would you like me to read it to you? Maybe it didn't start that way. Yeah, he's over the top about it, so it's made her paranoid about it, too, because of the way he's acting. If you don't have anything to hide, why are you making a big deal about it? Woods, are you blowing up? Yeah, dude. Your cell phone? Yeah. Is it your wife? No. Let's call Jamie. Of course it doesn't. Let's not call Jamie. I would love to talk to Jamie. I would love to talk to Jamie, too. Have a ball. I'm on Jamie's side. Let's not call her. Call her. Let's not call her. We're not going to talk to Jamie. Call her. Call her up. Call her. Just give her a ring. Jamie, call us. I have nothing to hide. How old are you? 18. How old is your boyfriend? 19. That's why. That's why. Don't feel bad. Don't... Okay, this is my advice. What you're doing right now, when the phone rings, you telling him who's calling, not bad. Opening the phone to start to read a text.

3:08:56Over the line. I don't want to read the text. Sure you don't. I like, because I'll ask him. Of course you don't. Why would you ever want to read his text? It'll be a text message. I'll be like, who is it from? Don't worry about it. And I'll just open my phone and look at it. Keep your eyes on your own page. This is what you need to do. This is what you need to do. Does he read your text or does he open your phone? Yeah, I ask him to. This is what you need to do. Well, he's doing something then. It's obvious. I got it. I got it. But here's the other thing. Wait, Sienna's got it though. I just want to help you. Because two can play at this game, my friend. All right. So you. Oh, don't. Game player. Game player. Okay. She wants to get to the bottom of it. Let he have a taste of what he's doing. Really? He's getting a taste. Next time you're hanging out with him, you have one of your friends. Someone's calling me right now. You have one of your friends text. A bunch of times, you, over and over again, a bunch of texts. He's going to be like, what's going on with your phone? Who's doing that? Who's doing that? That's crazy. No, it's not. This is how women think. Have one of your friends text you a million times. Make him jealous. And don't let him look and just say, don't worry about it. And then go to a modeling agency and hire a couple of guy models. And have them hit on you. And then have them walk out of your car. And then have them park your car. And then walk out.

3:10:16apartment okay i don't think it's right that she's look if she says she hasn't but if she were to go and look at his messages but the fact that he's being so what are you doing what are you doing and doesn't want her to know who's calling who's texting and everything maybe he's a private guy really why does it matter though shouldn't you be able to tell tell your significant other around honey there are texts that i get from let's say i got a text from bark maman That could be really nasty. Okay. That I don't want my wife to read. Oh, really? Because we're going to burst on names. But you know what? Maybe Bark Malman doesn't need to be texting you garbage like that. That's a whole other issue, dude. So you go, hey, Bark, do me a favor, bro. Why don't you act like it? But if Jamie, she's going to be like, play golf. It's guilt. No, it's not, dude. Yeah, really. Then why is Bark, do I send you texts that you're like, you can't show your wife? No, but you're different. I bet you I've sent some stuff to Jay and Jason some stuff to me that I wouldn't send to you. True. But I'm not your wife. Well, exactly. But I don't want that doesn't mean I want his wife reading that text either, because then she's going to have some preconceived notion about me. But if it's your wife, she knows who she married. My boyfriend will get like gross text messages and picture messages he does with his friends and he'll say to me, oh, it's just.

3:11:34You know, it's just Brent saying something. You know, like, and I'm not like, let me see, let me see. But if he laughs at something, I'm like, what? That's Brent's piece. Yeah, exactly. Really? Exactly. Why can't everybody just worry about themselves? We have to be up in my business, man. Why do we have to say it's all girls that do this stuff? Because I've been in a relationship where a guy snooped on me. All right? I can honestly say. You guys snooped too. Hey, I've done a lot of wrong stuff. I can honest to God say I've never snooped on my wife. Ever. Never, ever, ever. What about an ex-girlfriend? No. I'm not a snoop. What about when you showed up with the key to your ex-girlfriend's place? That's not snooping. That was called Jack Daniels and being jilted. You still showed up to see what they were up to? I opened the door because I was going to beat the crap out of the guy that was inside. Excuse me. You started snooping. No, that's ass kicking. Excuse me. That's not called snooping. That's crazy. That's called Jack Daniels. Yeah, that's Jack Daniels. You look through the people. Oh, okay, Mike. Honey, I opened the door with a key and said, what's up, dude? Why are you in here with my girl? She wasn't your girl anymore. She broke up with me that day and had a dude in her place the same night?

3:12:42Crazy. Well, whatever. You're crazy. He showed up at his ex-girlfriend's door. Absolutely. It was crazy. In his boxers. In my boxers. And he had the key to replace still, so he let himself in. And he saw them walk by through the people. Oh, through my people. Yeah, because I heard her. That's not snooping, though. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Can I ask a question? What are you doing here? What are you doing? Raise your voice about 90 octaves. I got a question. Yeah. What are you doing here? Who are you? Throw a few more F-bubs. Who are you? Oh, my goodness. Falling over. Oh, gosh. This is a heated morning. I'm telling you, dude. Everybody, worry about what's on your own plate. Before you worry about what's on my plate, eat what's on your plate. M1 Liz. Hey, guys. Hi. By the way, Woodsy's phone is blowing up from his wife. And I bet you Winder's probably one of them, too. Oh, probably. Let's hear Liz. This is Winder's girlfriend Liz. This is Winder's Liz. Winder's cell phone is Fort Knox. Like Fort Knox. He... What's he up to? Winder, what are you doing with your Fort Knox? He's not doing anything. With your Fort Knox phone. I want to hear. I want to hear. He just texted me a few minutes ago and said it's called privacy. Oh, it's called privacy. Exactly. What is that? When he takes a shower, the shorts that he just took off, the pants that he just took off before he gets in the shower...

3:14:06The phone is in the pocket, and those pants are at the foot of the shower, and he's speaking out every two seconds. If I come in to brush my teeth, if I come in to get something. Over the top. You know why? Because he knows you want to look at that phone, which is why we as men are like, no, forget it. Forget it. We're going to drive you nuts. Why? We do that, dude, because we know it makes them crazy. Well, who's we? Guys, people with pieces. Really? Jay doesn't do that. Mikey doesn't do that. Dude. He does it to me, too. I'll say this to my wife. I'll be in the shower, and I'll go, babe. Text Woods. I'll go, babe, can you get on my phone and text? Wendy and tell her that I can't be there until 2? Yeah, that's normal. Todd tells me, get my buddy's address. Will you send him this thing that I was supposed to send? It's on my email. He just emailed it to me. I'm like, okay. Just perfect town, everybody. Perfect town. Trust. Winder has laser beam, you know, around his phone. If I tap in two feet, it goes off and I melt. Yeah, he's got a champion lock on there. Yeah. With a combination. Hey, Woods, aren't you and Winder really good friends?

3:15:13Weird. I know. Yeah. Why did you wink at me? Well, there's my boy, dude. And I got his back. No matter what. Two peas in a pod. Yeah. Two peas in a pod. That's right. Two peas in a lock. This is BS, dude. This is BS. Why is your phone blowing up over there? Jamie, get it. Yeah, you got to put the combination in first, bro. Yeah, right. Before you can actually see what's on there. Is it from Bark Malman? John Wine, dude. Oh, really? He's got a retina eye scan on his phone. Yeah, exactly. You've got to stick a retina. People with iPhones, do you have a combo lock on yours? No. You don't, do you? I have to, yeah. I have an iPhone with a combination. Do you have a combination? You don't? Jamie does. She puts a combination on the phone? Yeah, she's got a combination. Guess she's shady.

3:16:05Must be shady. Mine is so it doesn't go off in my purse. She must be up to something. Look at how nervous this is. He's moisturizing his hands. Do you know why I would never ask for that combination? Why? Because I don't care. And I love her and I trust her. And I don't care. Then why are you moisturizing like a madman? My skin's dry. I'm so ready for 10 o'clock. I can scream. I've got great news. Your brother did the dishes? Yeah, right. No, I'm ordering Cox Digital Cable. Hey, that is great news. Now we can get the most out of that new flat screen. Yeah, and now we can watch thousands of shows and movies on demand whenever we want, including our favorite primetime shows with My Primetime. We can stay home for movie night with all those movies on demand. And get this, HD programming is free. Wait, free? Free, including 140 Padres games in HD.

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3:19:34Stop stormwater pollution. Think blue. For more information, call 619-235-1000 or log on to thinkbluesd.org. Because we all live downstream. Attention to all Americans struggling with medical bills and credit card debt. Due to the economic crisis, a program approved by the United States government now may eliminate 100% of your medical bills and credit card debt entirely. This program is now available to the general public through the Chapter 7 Federal Bankruptcy Act and here to offer Americans a fresh start during these hard economic times. We have one goal in mind with this program, and that is to allow Americans to keep their homes, cars, and personal property while eliminating 100% of your debts for good. For more information and to see if you qualify for this government-approved program, call the American Bankruptcy Hotline today, 800-304-0661. Over 1.5 million Americans are expected to take advantage of this opportunity this year alone. While the economy is getting worse and worse, there is no better time than now to file bankruptcy on your debts and walk away from 100% of it for good through this program. For more information, call America's Bankruptcy Hotline now. 800-304-0661. 800-304-0661. Again, that's 800-304-0661. Now back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Woodsy is phenomenal.

3:21:19Still very tense in the studio. He's been pacing and moisturizing. He's like, yeah, great. Can't wait to answer questions all day. Perfect. You're welcome. Thanks. I'll tell you this about Woodsy. He's on the up and up. There's no doubt about it. I'm trying, dude. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. A lot. And I'm trying not to be that guy anymore. A lot. That's true. He is. But... Doesn't matter. I'm still going to get my ass chewed later because I don't give my wife my password. Yeah, you will. We'll do it today. She can have it. Yeah, she can have it. She ain't having it. I think that you should. She can have it. She can't have it. I think it's time for you to just change the email and get a new one. You got it. Let's start fresh. Yeah, let's do it right now. Honey, I love you. Clean slate. The whole bit. I think that's the best idea. Yeah, great. Let's do it right now. Let's do it. Dial it up. New email.

3:22:19Just get the Shadesters out of the circulation. Yeah, I don't have any Shadesters. Give the wife the info. M1 Tasme. She can have it. Tasme, are you there? Yes, I am. Go ahead. The whole conversation to me this morning is hilarious. It is, huh? At the end of the day, everyone is curious, boys and girls. So you guys want to make it out like it's just us women who are crazy. It is. But in the beginning of the relationship, yes, I was the one who broke into my husband's MySpace and broke into his email. And there was stuff there that I did find when we were first dating. Women's intuition. So it was not unwarranted that I went in there and found stuff. And, you know, obviously we worked through whatever, fixed all of that. And now here we are. we are four or five years later and it'll be my phone that rings and he's like who's calling you yeah the tables do turn uh but what i tell everyone at the end of the day you know men want to call women crazy yeah we're crazy we're all crazy it's okay because you're never gonna leave one of us and go find some other woman that's any less crazy because you guys have managed to make us all insecure we're not all crazy no we're not all crazy you know

3:23:30You can say whatever you want, but I am willing to admit at the end of the day, you men have made women insecure. Can I ask you a question? Tasmi. Tasmanian devil. Tasmanian. Tasmi. Tasmi. I want to ask you a series of questions. Sure. Do you believe that every man and every woman... is jealous and suspicious of their significant other. No, but as a general statement, you can say that. So generally, yes, but you'll always find the anomalies. So in other words, if a man or a woman is not jealous or suspicious of their significant other, that is an anomaly? Probably they've worked through a lot of stuff and been together for a long time. I'll bet you money that the guy this morning, he has not been with his girl for a long time. Two years. Mikey, did you or did you not say that Rebecca forwarded an email to another girl? You guys have had your time. Oh, we were the worst. As she just said, you work through it and you get better. We were the worst. Now, I can't let this go by without me saying this.

3:24:45This is just me and Rebecca. I'm only telling you from our point of view. We grew spiritually and in our faith at exactly the same time. We got no issues with each other. Let me ask you this. Because I don't care to check Jamie's email, because I don't care to see who's texting her, does that mean I don't care? No. What does it mean? I'm not curious. I'm not curious. And I think, I mean, I don't think I know that I trust her. Yep, I believe that you do. Because I don't. I honest to God, when she goes away for a girls weekend, it's, honey, have fun. Text me, call me, whatever. Let me know you're okay. But I don't need to talk to you. Go have a good time. I trust you. If you knew her password or you thought you did to her email or something. I still wouldn't. No, no, no, but listen. I'd probably know it. What if she told you that her ex-husband, like, she ran into him or something, and then it sparks some curiosity thing in your mind, and it's like a battle you have with your imagination that girls have, guys have, everyone has at some point in a relationship. You have this battle with your imagination, and you're like, well, he just ran into you? Like, did anything happen? And there's always that one person that is like a really sensitive topic.

3:25:56Well, you know, with with our situation, it's I have a history with this guy and that that would be a different deal. And if he said something to her or anything like it would that that would flip me out. If he was calling her and texting her like he did it before and I've called him and been like, what's up? You know, what's up? Like like some people might think that's a little crazy. That was my woman. That's my lady. Thank you. Hey, I will admit it. I will admit it. But here's the deal. I trust her implicitly. That guy could be laying in her bed and I would know nothing would happen. Seriously. Like, the guy's a tool. And you'd be okay with that? He would walk out with a severe limp. But other than that, you know, I mean, listen, I trust her completely. I don't need her password. I don't need to look at anything. Nothing. I believe you. There's no part of that that I question.

3:26:49It's, you know. The thing about my wife, though, what you guys don't, you guys know her, but you don't know her that well. The thing about my wife, though, is if, let's say, let's say somebody wrote me, I would still get hell for it. I would catch the hell for that. Because you need to cut the cord, my friend. The cord is cut. The cord is cut. I don't talk to anybody. Can I say it in my mouth? Say it. Please. There's different ways of cutting a cord. Sometimes people cut a cord with a plastic spoon. Yeah. Well, I haven't told anybody to F off or anything. I cut the cord with a hedge trimmer. There's no cord to cut. I have no cords to cut. But if you're getting emails from other girls. I'm not. I'm saying if I did. Or let's say a listener was like, hey, Woodsy. Did you pinch the cord? Did you tie a rubber band around the cord waiting for it to fall off? There's no cords to cut. Let's say a listener is like, hey, Woodsy, you're really cute. I saw you at this. She would flip out. She would flip out. Because she doesn't know who this girl is. Not necessarily at you, but just in the back that's happening. But I would catch the brunt. That girl's obviously not at my house. She's not going to catch the brunt. I'm going to catch the brunt. How would you catch the brunt? What would it sound like? She would flip out. She would say, what's your problem? Yeah. No, she wouldn't say, what's your problem? Well, this is a new thing for her to deal with you being in a public... It is. It's a new thing for me. Yeah, so when Matt...

3:28:11Like, my boyfriend is a musician. When he first started getting the crazies posting things on his MySpace, even though he couldn't help it, I was upset about it. You can't touch my phone. Oh, my gosh. Did you see that? Yeah, he didn't want anybody to touch his phone. Okay, so we just said, I'm going to call Jamie. So I said, give me the phone, put it, like, on her number, and I'll bring it to Jay. And he wouldn't even let me. Oh, he grabbed it right away from you. Am I going to snoop through your phone? Oh, my goodness. Really? You're the other two women in his life. Are you kidding me? What's he? Look at him. He is so, like, he's twitchy. He's freaking out. Get your lotion. Get your lotion. I'm good. You need your Nivea? No. When he's stressed out, he over-moisturizes. When he stresses out, he breaks out that blue little tube of Nivea. It's empty. And he puts it on. You know, okay, so say that listener sends you an email. You're cute. You respond and you nip it in the bud in a nice way. Absolutely. And then I get into trouble for it. You won't. If she sees you reacted in a good way as a good husband, she's not going to get mad at you. If she sees you, you're like, oh, thanks. Yeah. How about you, Pepper? If a girl writes something on your fella's stuff, does it make you mad at him? No, I'm over it now. But when it first, I could see Jamie's point of view. Because when it first started happening and people would put inappropriate things, now he has, like, comment approval or something like that. People would post inappropriate things. And it would make you mad at him?

3:29:37I didn't have that girl in front of me to slap around. Somebody's got to catch it. I know, but how would it manifest itself with him? Like, what would you say to him? Would you go, how dare you allow her to type on her keyboard? No, I'd be like, oh, that's great. That's great. Would you send her a private message after that? And that's another thing, too, with Jamie is Woods was doing sales months ago, and now all of a sudden he's on the radio. Poor girl. We got Jamie. No way. Yes. Hi, darling. Hi, Jamie. Hi. Hi, hon. Hi, dear. So, Jamie. So, Jamie, I would like to investigate because Woodsy says. I love this. That Woodsy says that if a girl were to write something on his wall that you would get upset about it with him. Is this true? That is so true. Don't throw me under the bus like that. I didn't think it's true either. I didn't either. It's so true. I think what Jamie might do. Hey, my skin is crawling. She knows me so well. What? She knows my skin is crawling. Jamie, do you get upset at Woodsy when girls write stuff on there? Not at him. You get upset at them, which makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense.

3:31:00Hey, listen, if some dude wrote something on my wife's wall that was suggestive or whatever, I'd be like, what is this dude thinking? What's the matter with this guy? And then you would question her, though, a little bit. Not get mad at him. You'd be like, do you know this guy? How do you know this guy? Exactly. You get the third degree. You'll get the third degree about it. Well, you deserve it because... Why do I deserve it? Because I'm dynamic? Because you're married. I get it because I'm dynamic and sharp. Wait, wait. How did that... I'm the talent. I'm the talent. How did he get in trouble because a girl wrote something on his wall? I'm not saying he deserves to get in trouble. I'm saying he deserves to be questioned. Exactly. See? What's the back story? Is she just a crazy listener? Did you meet her at an event? You give her a little extra winky wink? Where's this coming from? If we actually had events, that could be possible, but we don't yet. That would be very pointed and accusatory. Questions, I think, are fine. I might say to my wife, I might say. It's a bit, Mike. Yeah. It's my bit. It's my bit. It's my bit. Bring her up. I want to tell her something. Babe. Yes. Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Okay. So here's the deal. When you come here, we are going to go to the bank. We're going to get a joint account. Wow. Just mine and yours. Okay. Then. Hold on to your half. You know what we're going to do? We're going to be this. This is the couple we're going to be. We are going to. Our new email.

3:32:29is going to be woodsfamilyatyahoo.com. Oh, really? Oh, really? Is that good? Is that right? I'm not being a smart guy. Yes, you are. Honey, would you do that with me? Of course. Okay, woodsfamilyatyahoo.com. What about stevebelongstojamieatyahoo.com? I like that one better. I like that one. Jamie runs Steve's life. Yahoo.com. Steve is a married man. My wife is, she's not, she's not, I've given her reason to be a little bit of a lunatic over the last eight years. And don't anybody Photoshop a ball and chain around and start sending it. I'll be mad. Jamie, that's my girl, dude. We love you, Jamie. Great. Love y'all too. Love you, babe. Hey, guess who else is on the line? Winder. Hi, Johnny. What's up? What's up? Sorry, you're dying right now, like me. First of all, don't when you get your ATM card, it says enter your password and let nobody know what it is. Yeah, it's your bin. For a reason, right? Except for your wife or your significant other, the mother of your child, Winder. Right. Who has my ATM? Who has an ATM card? Liz. She has her own ATM card. Yep. My thing is, you know what? Back in the day, she had everything to worry about. I was a mess. You know, she had a right to be worried.

3:33:42Yeah, but now that she doesn't, then she can look into your phone, right? Yeah, she can. You're dead, just like me. We're dead. Winder, just pack your bag. Be at my house tonight. We're just going to go get our own place. Thanks, Winder. Later. Later. I love this. Unbelievable. There's no right answer. No. We can't. My hole that I've dug is touching China right now. That's fantastic. Yes. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Hey, Jack, sorry to bug you. Where do you usually get your car serviced? Same place I told you yesterday, Lisa. Toyota Carlsbad's New Parts and Service Facility. Thanks. Oh, hi, Molly. You bought a Toyota, right? Yeah, from Toyota Carlsbad. Where do you get it serviced? At Toyota Carlsbad's New Parts and Service Facility. Ooh, Billy, where... Where everyone else goes, Toyota Carlsbad's New Parts and Service Facility. Sorry, but getting your car serviced right the first time is a big deal. That's why we all go to Toyota Carlsbad's New Parts and Service Facility.

3:34:55Master trained service technicians. Genuine Toyota parts. And it's the largest Toyota authorized service facility in San Diego County. Well, I guess my choice is clear. Good. Going back to work now. Shipping. This is Doug. Doug, where do you get your car? Stop it. Working. Toyota Carlsbad. Toyota owners now get a synthetic oil change starting at $49.95 plus tax and hazardous material fee. Text TOYOTA SERVICE48696 for more specials. Visit Toyota Carlsbad New Parts and Service Center today, west of I-5 on Avenida Encinas, Carlsbad. See us online at ToyotaCarlsbad.com. Hi, this is Mike Puckett from HalfPriceSanDiego.com, and Walgreens has partnered up with us this week to help you out for Easter. Walgreens is the perfect place for all your last-minute needs, from Easter baskets and candy, as well as toys to make this Easter unforgettable for your little ones. Walgreens has it all and extremely convenient. Walgreens, your Easter shopping headquarters. And HalfPriceSanDiego.com is excited to have the Healing Arts Massage and Wellness Center in Pacific Beach. back on. This March, it's massage madness. Where else can you get a one-hour massage for $22.50? Only at Healing Arts Massage and Wellness Center in Pacific Beach. And only at HalfPriceSanDiego.com. And let me tell you about the best barbecue in San Diego.

3:36:06Glory's Barbecue has just opened in Pacific Beach on the corner of Cass and Garnett. You have tried the rest. Now it's time you try the best. Whether you like ribs, brisket, tri-tip, or whatever, you will find it all at Glory's Barbecue in Pacific Beach. Tell Tony that Puckett sent you and he might let you try his world-famous bread pudding. I like bread pudding. Register today and get our weekly email so you know about the deals first. You know the drill. It's a win-win. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public By being burdened with credit card debt to aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344.

3:37:02We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344. 800-724-1344. Again, that's 800-724-1344. Stay tuned for a million bottle giveaway announcement. Do you have troubled skin? Acne? Well, against the better judgment of our management team, we're going to prove to you once and for all that Proactiv works. So if you want to try it, give us a call because we're going to let a million people try Proactiv and receive our legendary refining face mask free if you call right now. You heard it. Be one of the first callers and you'll receive a 60-day trial of Proactiv Solution risk-free plus a free refining face mask when you call 1-800-244-1946. Proactiv's combination therapy system uses prescription-grade acne medicine and soothing spa quality botanicals to create a powerful acne-fighting system. It's so effective it transforms blemishes and bumps into clear, smooth skin. You can have beautiful, healthy-looking skin. Put us to the test and we'll prove it. Get your risk-free 60-day

3:38:17tryout plus a free refining face mask call toll free now 1-800-244-1946 that's 1-800-244-1946 don't just aim for the top start there business week ranks the university of san diego's evening mba program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an a plus for teaching quality i'm casey hayes director of mba admissions at the university of san diego If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Hey, Cesar Gonzalez, tell me how you beat that Bobby Flay guy from the Food Network. Bobby Flay, he challenged me to a throwdown. Did you win? Get on that way. I'm Cesar Gonzalez from Amatessa. Of course I won. If he challenged me to a cabbage and potato soup, he would have had a chance. Mamatesta Taqueria, University Avenue, and Richmond in Hillcrest. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I am chubby. Woods. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Lauren. I have a very keen sense of smell. Sienna. Todd and I went downtown La Jolla to prospect. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. I just found out in the hallway and brought in here. Who's that? Susanna. Susanna is an intern from the accounting department. Accounting department who...

3:39:59Sorry. Big fan of Woods. Couldn't help myself. Yeah. I guess you were hearing what was happening. Yeah, I just heard the little phone call that happened. You heard the phone call. Her retainer is in right now. She's got the retainer in, so sometimes it's hard to hear. Want to take the retainer out just for a second? Yeah, just for a second. Just for a second. Looks great today. This is a outfit. Smells wonderful. Thanks, guys. I was getting such a kick out of that whole conversation. Really? Yeah, me too. I'm so far from Crazy Woods. I am, like, so down to earth. I would never do anything like that. You would never, like, snoop or even think about it? No. Your phone is your phone. Why don't you keep your eyes on your own paper, Jamie? Susanna, I'm sure in your day you've done some sort of snooping. Put your retainer back in. Oh, okay. It's... So, I just saw maybe... Can we get that clip one more time for Jamie? They're crazy.

3:41:00Good Lord, don't say that about my wife. That's kind of weird to say, but it wasn't since you're acting. It's just funny. It's a bit. It's a bit. It's a bit, guys. She didn't even say anything crazy, though. Yeah, she didn't really. She was actually really cool about it. Anyway. That woman is a saint. Yeah, she really is. Speaking of not crazy. Whoa. Hey, guys. I'm Susanna. Oh, my goodness. So, just two on that, and then, you know. I'll see you later. Later. Bye, guys. Bye, boys. Bye, honey. She's really something else. My poor, poor wife. Gosh, brutal. Unbelievable. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. I'm going to go home, and I'm going to turn my phone off, and I'm going to crawl in bed, and I'm going to lay in the fetal position. Get in the fetal position. What's worse, too, is she's all the way to Texas. Yeah, I can't go home and take her flowers. You don't need to take her flowers. I don't think she's mad or anything like that. No, she's mad. You just need to start divvying up your phone. Oh, 100%. We're going to get a family plan is what we're going to get. There's no I in Team Woods. Yeah.

3:42:10Maybe you change your last name, then you can run mouth. I did. Change your last name, then you can run mouth. Okay, so I haven't... Sienna Richards. So I haven't gone to the DMV. Sienna Richards. Who wants to get in line at the DMV? I tell you what, how about we make Todd a Facebook page today? Yeah, and then... I will go to Social Security right now. Stop it. I'm going to Social Security. I'm going to the DMV. I'm changing my last name. But I'm not making time to frigging Facebook memes. I'll tell you that. He doesn't want one. Yes, he does. He does it. Get him on the phone. Get him on the phone. Let's call all the spouses today. We've got Rebecca. I want Matt. I want Kim. I want them all. Oh, my gosh. I'm exhausted. You guys want to do new releases? Please. Let's do them. Please. Let's change the subject. No Facebook for my man. Woo. Lord is swinging around a banana like you wouldn't believe right now. Weird. It's the biggest banana I've ever seen. Thanks. Look at Woods. He's too exhausted to even say that. My shoulders are slumped. His shoulders are slumped. He's looking at me defeated. Let's have a cookie. Completely defeated. All right, what do we got? What do we got? Okay, I'm going to start with albums out today. Usher, Raymond vs. Raymond. Make me want to get a family of a show.

3:43:44It's only a Doritos commercial or something. Pringles. Come on. Oh, she used to have all of those big hits. Yeah, what happened? Now he's working on Justin Bieber. His wife probably found his phone. That's it. Ruined his whole bit. The 90s ended. That's what happened. Erykah Badu is out today. New America. Dallas' own Erykah Badu. From Dallas? Yep. She's good. Yeah, she is. She just got herself into a little trouble. First time I'm ever hearing of... What? Mike! Erykah Badu? Never heard of Erykah Badu. Really? You mean back when we used to play Pantera on Rock 105? Throwing the Erykah Badu? That was Pantera on the rocker, and here's a little...

3:44:39Here's a little Erica, too. She's been around for a long time. You guys give me a hard time. Come on, I can at least do it, too. Jeez, Mike. Alan Jackson, freight train. Get. It's beautiful. That old feeling comes around. Mikey likes it. Sounds like a syrup commercial. Mrs. Butterworth. That is exactly what it sounds like. Mrs. Butterworth. Yes, Mrs. Butterworth's new jingle. When my wife makes pancakes. Yeah. I could use some Butterworth. And a pad of butter. Right? Past the old log cabin. I'll take a short stack. Yum. By the side of bacon. Weird. It does. It sounds like... Angus and Julia Stone down the way is out today. Just rhymed. Hi. They're a brother and sister from Australia. That's totally in. It's like Matt and his sister. Yeah. I like this. Sounds good. She sounds like Hope Sandoval from Mazzy Star. A little bit. Total. Total Hope Sandoval. This would be played in Grey's Anatomy without a doubt. Anyone who watches Grey's Anatomy. This would be played during Lovemaking. You just thoroughly creep me out. I would not want that played. She's going to be singing with her brother. You can't play that during Lovemaking. Sure I can.

3:46:16Bare Naked Ladies new CDs out today, all in good time. I kind of like it so far. You're ruining it. You have a drumstick and your brain starts clicking? Sounds way different. Way different. Let's Bare Naked Ladies or Zamfir. Get Hillary here. Hillary. Wait, we're not done. I know. Okay. Gretchen Wilson, you're going to love this one, Woods. I got your country right here. Classy. Say I look like her. The California girl song? I don't know. Sure. Sounds sweaty. Sounds farty. She's uber farty. Oh, my goodness. No way. She is. Method Man is out. Wu-Tang presents. I'm from a place where we lock in the low glocks. Everyone. Bounce your head. Bounce your head.

3:47:38One arm up and down. One arm up and down. We don't want to fit the yak. We want the gallon. Where are the leprechauns? I want to know where the gold at. That's right. I'm buying that today. I love it. Also out today, Black Francis. I want to know where the gold at. I want the gold. Give me the gold. I want the gold. Does that guy want the gold? That's out every day. Also out today, Black Francis. This is a weird word. Non-stopper topic. Non-stopper topic. Oh, he's the man. He is the man, dude. Mikey, you might know him as Frank Black. He's played with the Pixies. Yeah. You guys look alike. True. Tall black guy. He's just like Kareem. I wasn't ready for that. Oh, man. Yeah, he looks just like Kareem. I see Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. It's like looking in the mirror. And I have three DVDs real quick. On DVD today, Sherlock Holmes with Jude Law, Robert Downey Jr., Alvin and the Chipmunks, The Squeakquel. That's clever. I know. And Alice in Wonderland, not the new one, the special two-disc anniversary special. So it's the old one on DVD. We got to ask Hillary. Hillary. Did you hear our bit today at all?

3:49:12Which one? About the last hour and a half, two hours? Oh, yes. It's called Woods' personal hell. Privacy. The privacy bit. All right, you're married. Yes. Tell us. Fill us in. I have never peeked at my husband's phone or email. I've never even had any desire to. I just don't. I mean, it's trust. Like, that's the word, man. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Do you know any of his passwords or anything? No, I don't. But he knows mine. Yeah. But I totally trust that he would never do that to me. Why are we? And like, I know I'm friends with his longtime ex-girlfriend. And at first that was kind of weird for me. And I was like, you know, but I got through. We've been together 10 years. So, you know. Yeah, that would be weird. Never even been tempted because I know that if he were to do that to me, that would be like a deal breaker. I mean, it's trust. Trust. Ridiculous. How's his mouth? He did get his.

3:50:12Jaw unwired yesterday. Back to Frenching yet? Okay, weird. Definitely weird. So much Frenching? It did have been a while, hadn't it? Definitely weird. Probably brush his teeth for like four hours. Oh, I bet, right? He's gargling with gasoline. Yeah. You sound better today. I'm feeling better today. Yeah, you sound much better. That motor oil worked, didn't it? Yeah, thank you. Did you use 10W30 or 10W40? Both. Is that our program director? It's a combo. Scott Shannon told me. All right. One time. Back in Detroit. Thank you. We got it. I've heard about it. If your throat's a little scratchy, Mikey, gargle with motor oil. We know. We know. Garrett, we've heard. Don't start with Philly. Have I ever told you about Philly? Yes. Yeah, I did. Don't start with Philly. You know I've hired Tommy four times. I know it. I know. I know. Seattle was lost. He was in Seattle. I was here. I called him. I said, Tommy, get down here. Pack your bags. Thank you. I love you, Garrett. He's going to slit your neck. He's going to slit your neck. He's going to kill me. He's going to kill you. 570-1949. Typically, when we sign off for the day, I'm really bummed. Today, not so bummed. Oh, thanks, bud. That's awesome. Not so bummed at all. Have fun with your phone later. Yeah, I'm going to be curled up in bed. Have fun with all your friends in San Diego besides your Mikey Show friends. Have fun, yeah. Yeah. I want to tell people about this. This is really cool.

3:51:42Please try to remember this email address because this is the email address that you will want to write if you want to help out. My church, North Coast Church, is raising Easter baskets. They're putting together Easter baskets for kids at local homeless shelters. So cool. Who would not otherwise have one this year. And they're still in need of donations for the older kids because they have these baskets for the little kids. But they don't want to forget the kids that are like 12 and 13 and stuff like that. Some peeps. Yeah, they're in these homeless shelters. So if you want to donate, here's the stuff they're looking for, like gift cards to McDonald's and stuff like that, or gift cards to Starbucks or Target or Walmart, movie theater passes, even cash donations so that they can purchase them and put them in these gift baskets. This started out really small, and they have just, it's blown up. They have so many Easter baskets that they're going to be giving out to these kids.

3:52:41at the local homeless shelters now there's a couple of ways that you can do it one way is to write this email address and tell them you want to help easter baskets for life at yahoo.com easter baskets for life at yahoo.com just send them an email and say hey i'd like to help uh and it is a tax write-off you would just think of the day that you give that kid I thought about it, Mike. A little chocolate bunny in there. I thought about it. You're in. Some of those marshmallow peeps. Kids are going to get these things and be so happy by the donation that you make. So awesome. So Easter baskets for life at yahoo.com. Be a really cool thing for you to do. Or you can also go to the website for the church, northcoastchurch.com. Tell CB what's up. My man. You know what I'm saying? Let's see. Let's do a little bit of this right here. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we will see you tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. Mikey shows out late. Lincoln Financial Media Station. Mikey in the morning. About the music all day and night. M94.9. It's about the music.