The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 03/31/11
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Padres opening dayFukushima radiationdrunk driving lawsJack the Ripperdiet temptationsinkhole rescueparentingdry ice scienceCharger Girls auditionssecret languagesmessage in a bottlepadres
Woods opened the show by treating Padres opening day as a fresh start, but his own fresh start lasted only hours when Jay tempted him into breaking his no-donut pledge. Sienna's Fukushima report and Alan Hale's defense of rural taverns led to serious arguments about whether official safety assurances can be trusted and whether economic hardship can excuse dangerous driving. Trevor Marriott challenged the accepted Jack the Ripper story with a mortuary-organ theory, while Jay supplied lighter investigation through a fog-filled dry-ice experiment. Mikey recounted toddler Luke's ferocious tantrum, Emma and Giselle unpacked the demanding Charger Girls audition, callers proved they could converse in gibberish, and Daniil's Baltic bottle discovery connected him with Frank 24 years after the note was written.
What happened, in order
Opening Day Optimism
Woods celebrated baseball's opening day, argued that every team begins with a chance, and previewed Tim Stauffer facing Chris Carpenter as the Padres opened against the Cardinals.
Radiation in the Milk
Sienna reported that the Fukushima evacuation area might expand and that trace radiation had appeared in milk from Spokane and San Luis Obispo, prompting the hosts to question assurances that it posed no public-health th
Montana's DUI Debate
Montana representative Alan Hale opposed tougher DUI laws because he said they threatened rural taverns, while the hosts debated isolation and scarce transportation before concluding that local business cannot justify dr
Rethinking Jack the Ripper
Retired detective Trevor Marriott argued that Jack the Ripper did not remove his victims' organs and that medical personnel probably took them later at mortuaries, undermining the standard theory that the killer was a su
The Two-Hour Donut Pledge
Hours after Woods swore off his daily donut, Jay arranged for a fresh box to appear and Woods immediately ate a glazed one, admitting he had no intention of resisting a warm donut placed in front of him.
Calling 911 from a Sinkhole
The hosts replayed a woman's muffled 911 call from inside a backyard sinkhole and, after stressing that she survived, riffed on the dispatcher's bewildered response while explaining how she tossed her phone onto the gras
Luke's Epic Tantrum
Mikey described trying to calm his toddler Luke through a relentless crying fit, only for Luke to swing at him, arch away, charge the door, and resist every attempt at soothing.
Dry-Ice Bubble Science
Jay combined dry ice, water, soap, and a soapy rag to grow a giant fog-filled bubble that burst across the table as the rest of the crew narrated the experiment in delighted alarm.
Inside the Charger Girls Tryouts
Charger Girls Giselle and Emma explained that hundreds of dancers compete through rapid choreography, interviews, and football-knowledge tests for a job that also requires media and community appearances.
The Gibberish Language Test
After Greg Kinnear's explanation failed to clarify the childhood code called gibberish, callers Camille, Lizzie, and Lynn demonstrated different versions and successfully understood one another on air.
A Bottle Answers After 24 Years
A Russian boy named Daniil found a 1987 message in a bottle on a Baltic beach and reached Frank, the now-adult German who had thrown it from a ship when he was five.
People mentioned
WoodsMikeySiennaJayAlan HaleTrevor MarriottLukeGiselleEmmaGreg KinnearCamilleLizzieLynnDaniil
28,094 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
570-1949. You can give us a call because of, well, we know what you want. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, boy. That didn't work very well. Oh, that did not go as planned, did it? Oh, my abs. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Yeah! With a Goo Goo Doll version, boys? Yeah! Oh, no! It's a good version. Everyone be happy. What happened? Oh, no. Relax. What happened? Mikey. She didn't like it. I thought Woods picked it out. No. Everyone be friends. I love it. You did? Dude, they could play an Egyptian version of Take Me Out to the Ball Game and I would be all the way in. It's my favorite song. Remember, it's a closet Goo Goo Dolls. Yeah, and I love the Goo Goo Dolls. I do too. I got no beef there. Put a little juice behind it. Mumford and Sons don't have a version or we'd be playing it. I like the traditional one.
What's that one? Take me out to the ball game. Take me out with the crowd. Remember the words? Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks. I don't care if I ever get back. So it's root, root, root for the Padres. If they don't win, it's a shame. For it's one, two. Get some. That was, I think, a horrendous version. No. Or was it good? It was good. Pretty good, I think. All right, good. It was a combination. 6 a.m. Halfway there and halfway not good. Yeah. All right. Well, what are you going to do? We tried. What are you going to do? 570-1949 is our number. Today is opening day. Woo! How about that? What's his favorite day of the year? You guys, from today forward, will see a new me. A new you. I am such a D from about October, November. No, no, no, no, no. From November until April. I'm a jerk. I'm depressed. It's dark. This spring is coming. Summer is coming. Baseball is here. Different guy. Yeah. A thousand percent. Good. There you go. Very friendly.
Are you? We'll see. Good. Don't try to spend people out, don't you? Just love everybody. Yeah. Good. I like that, Woodsy. That's me. That's the new woods in April, man. You get this woods from April to end of October, early November, and then you get the turd again. There you go. Perfect. There you go. Well, I can handle a couple of months of it. Okay, good. It's not bad. I can deal with that. Oh, boy. 570-1949 is our number. And you can call us. And if you want to, you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. So opening day, we're going to talk about that here in just a second. Also, I want to tell you about what's happening in Japan and some new findings in milk. The old man that does science at 8 o'clock. How about that? Yeah? How about some of that? Terrified already. Me too. Also, the Charger Girls will be in. Oh, that's too bad. Boy, that's too bad. Why did I wear my sweats today? They're going to be in at 9. Is that weird that I wore a tuxedo to work? You guys didn't even say anything. Well, you know. You never know what you're going to wear. Give us a call if you want.
We'd love to talk to you. 570-1949. Okay, so, Woodsy, what do we got on opening day? What do people need to know about opening day? Man, a better question is what don't we have on opening day? That's the question that you need to be asking yourself because this is the best day of the year. You know why? Why? Everybody has a shot. Everybody has a chance. There are 162 games that these guys are going to go out and play. Wow. And we have a shot. The Padres have a shot this year. I'm looking at their team. The thing with baseball is you've got nine guys, right, all going for a common goal, and that's to win a game. If all of those cylinders are firing, you can beat anybody on any given night. And it's so beautiful, this game. It's so wonderful, and it is my favorite time of year. Today is my birthday. So who are we playing? Today, the Padres will be taking on the Cardinals, man. They're going to open with a bang in St. Louis. Tim Stauffer will take the hill against Chris Carpenter. You know, Albert Pujols will be facing him today. What time? Today, the game is... Where is the time? Oh, 1.15 p.m. Our time. Our time. And so I think what they've done is the Yankees game is on at 10.05.
Right after that is Padres and Cardinals. So get home, watch baseball all day. I have meetings. I have two meetings I have to go to today. I will not get to sit and watch baseball until probably 2 o'clock today, and it makes me sick to my stomach. Yeah, I do too. I've got tax meeting. Picking up my new keys. I have to say, though, that I like Woods more than usual today because he's a huge Yankees fan and he's wearing a Yankees hat. But he has on a San Diego Padres shirt. That's right. And so he's incorporating our team, too, which is a big deal for him. Hey, man, I incorporated the crap out of the Padres last year. I went to a bunch of games. I'm going to more games this year. Love it. And I'm all the way in. I love the new additions that they've made. They have a whole new lineup. When you see it today, it's going to be a bunch of guys that you don't know, but these guys are good ballplayers. 115? 115. Word of the day is fajita. Fajita. You don't want to say fajita? I did. I thought I was doing fajita. Fajita. Fajita. Yeah. My favorite Mexican food. Me too. When you hear that between now and 10.
All you got to do is be caller number nine at 5701949. You get a pair of tickets or four packet tickets to the Good Guys Car Show. And you'll also get some Dave and Buster's power cards worth 40 bucks. Real cool. That chick that you think is going to win, or not that you think, my wife thinks is going to win American Idol. The one I like? You like her? Pia? Yeah. I think she has a great shot. I don't care how she sings. Last night she sang. Elton John. Don't let the sound go down on me. Let's hear it. This Elton John night. Yeah, she's pretty good. She has like Christina Aguilera, Celine Dion, effortless voice. She can hit any note and it's so easy for her. Yeah.
I like that guy. I don't watch it, but I hear all these clips. That's how I know the show, through the clips. Lauren is great, too. Thank you. Very much. Lauren is great. She got really high marks last night as well. For Candle in the Wind. She's great. I love her. She has Q-tips in her nostrils. A little bit. You like her, though, Sienna. Oh, yeah. I like her, too. Is she Foxy? She's young. Perfect. She's, I think, 16, 15, 16. Yeah. Really? Yeah, she sounds good. The guy that I like, Casey Abrams, I didn't think he sounded good.
He's the guy that got saved last week. He didn't do so hot. The last few weeks, he has not been doing very hot. And they have seen his potential in the beginning. He was outstanding. So the judges know it's in there. And that's why they saved him. But they're like, dude, you know, you got to bring that back. We know it's there, but bring it back. You just sounded like Randy. He's struggling. She just sounded like Randy. She goes, dude. Me and Randy, I get that a lot. Here's him singing Elton John, your song. It's one of my favorite songs. Me too. Still sounds good. Yeah, I like it.
You guys are talking me into it. Yeah, I think it's nice. I'm 100% in. The judges said he was good. He didn't have a chance to win, though, right? You know, he might because he's a little rough on the eyes. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah, they're trying. They're trying to do an American Idol million-dollar makeover. But it's not. I think because of that, he's going to do better voting-wise because people. Like the underdog. And Pia's gorgeous and so good. But I think there's a lot of girls that won't vote for her and would vote for Casey over it because he's not so good looking. Yeah. But he's a great guy. Really nice guy. You can tell. 570-1949 is our number. And apparently Japan is having to expand the evacuation zone. Oh, yeah. Around that big nuke plant. Yeah. Well, we talked about this a little bit yesterday morning and that more radiation has gotten into the ocean near the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant. Now, they've said that the 12 mile evacuation zone should be expanded after more radiation was detected at twice that distance. And just so you know, so far, more than 70,000 people have been evacuated from this 12 mile zone. And they're encouraging another.
136,000 people in the six miles beyond that zone have been encouraged to leave and get out because of the radiation. Or very important that they stay indoors and don't leave. So just really scary. And they're saying that the radiation may be flowing continuously from the plant into the ocean, like I said. And the contamination is now 4,000 times the legal limit. Engineers have not yet found the source of the leaks. How are they not? I know. And it's scary because we're, you know, over here and like, OK, is the radiation going to get here? Obama said that we're fine. People are saying we're fine. But this story I thought was kind of interesting, I found on CNN this morning, is that the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency is now increasing its nationwide monitoring of radiation because two states have reported low levels of radiation in the milk. Now, it was found in milk in Spokane, Washington and San Luis Obispo, California.
That far from us. And you want to know how it got in the milk? Well, when radioactive material is spread throughout the atmosphere, it drops to the ground, gets into the environment. In the rain. Yeah. Cows consume the grass, the hay, the feed, the water, whatever. Gosh, that was quick. And it's processed and becomes part of the milk that we drink. So that's how we found it. They're saying that still, even though it's in the milk, the amounts are so small that they pose no threat to public health. But still, not something you want to be hearing about or thinking about. Build strong bodies. Yeah. If there's no threat, why would it even show up as miserable? Right. Yeah. I mean, they're saying it's very low, but it's there. Lucky for me, I don't drink milk. I drink so much milk. I love it. Well, if it's in their milk, ain't it in their meat? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Isn't it? And we both like to eat some meat. Boy, we like some meat. Hopefully McDonald's is really doing some, you know, heavy testing on their meat. Woods went there again yesterday. Shut up. What? Damn it. Did you? Yes. Sienna. What'd you get? Sienna. Gosh. What'd you get? All right. I have to explain. If I'm going to tell it, I have to explain it. It was a rough day. You had a lot going on. They were showing our house yesterday, right? So I had to go get the dogs. I had to then go to La Jolla. From Mission Valley all the way to North County. Get the dogs. Mission Valley, North County. Grab the dogs.
To La Jolla, to Siena's house. Yeah. I was hungry on the way, but I didn't have a lot of time. Yeah. It's fast and easy. And it's delicious. I got... Oh, wow. He's squinting. That's not a good sign when he squints. This is going to hurt. But when you're having a rough day, you do go a little overboard. This is going to hurt. Five days a week? Yeah. He's moving. More than likely. So... Yes. All of our food at the house is gone. Everything's packed. I couldn't make something if I wanted to. Oh, man. Every day. There's more subway locations in the world than any other chain. That's true. See, I would have to leave the dogs in the car, and I don't do that, L.B. You know that. Oh, right. So I literally had to have a drive-thru. So I go by McDonald's. I get a number two with a Coke. That's, of course, the grilled chicken option, right? No, that would be the two cheeseburger option. Oh. Two cheeseburgers? Yep. Not a Big Mac? No Big Mac. Medium fries. Medium Coke. And a chocolate shake. And a chocolate shake! I just want to point out that he brought his dogs to my house and I watched them for like 20 minutes or something because he had to go down the street to get a text. He texted me he was going to McDonald's. Didn't offer to get me anything.
Very selfish. Wow. I watched Five Dogs. By the time I got to your house, it would have been cold. I know. I would have said no anyway. Small fries. So I said, I just left my house. I'll be right there. Quick stop at Mickey D's. And she wrote back, weird. It's funny because he's fat. Loves the Mickey D's. He does. I'm worried about you. Why? Why not? Why? Fast food. Six days a week. Just leave me alone. I'm worried about you. I was supposed to say fat. Oh, boy. It's okay. It's not okay. When you're done moving, then you don't have an excuse. Exactly. Then you'll soak it up while you can. But I'll tell you what, you guys, our new house, I don't pass McDonald's on the way home. Yeah. Which is... Awesome. That's the problem. That is the problem. What will you do? I'll eat sandwiches at my house. It's a good idea. Bacon sandwiches, but sandwiches nonetheless. Bacon and mayo sandwiches. 570-194-9 is our number. Sorry, I love you. If you want to give us a call. Later on the show, we're going to be doing Jay, the old man of the science. We never know what he's going to do. We do not know what he's going to do.
All I know is that there's a table set up in here, and it's got stuff that worries me. Bowls, liquids. Dog bowls. You know, I don't know what's in those liquids. Things look flammable. There's gloves, so you know it's bad. Whenever there's work gloves, it scares me. Try not to eat out of dog bowls in their woods. I know it's tempting. Yikes. Wow. Snossages. It's killing me! While he was at my house also. When he picked up his dog, he said, is this weird? And he stuck out his tongue and his dog licked his tongue. Oh, my. I said, yes, it's weird. It's not weird. He stuck out his tongue and his dog immediately knew that that meant. Time to kiss. Kiss for daddy. Kiss for daddy. French time. It doesn't taste weird. No. Dog's mouths are cleaner than your mouth. Those dogs are so sweet, though. You know what? They've been licking, right? They're happy. Haven't they? My mouth. Yeah.
You know what they've been licking? No. Each other. They don't do that. My dogs don't do that. Yes, they do. They're dogs. These are miracle dogs. I don't see it. If you don't see it, it don't happen. 5701949 is the number. M1, Rebecca from Kearney Mesa. Good morning. Good morning. I have a side job. Yes. Russell Crowe. I haven't, but why? Why do you ask? It's kind of narrating it. Damn it. The financial mess, the economy, you know, how the government has run us more or less into the ground. But what they did with the economy. Is it a documentary? It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been really good. You know what? Actually, now that you mention it, I...
have seen that as a very highly rated documentary that gets a lot of good reviews. But when I read the subject matter, I thought that it sounded a little bit conspiracy-like, and I'm out on conspiracies. Really? But that's the thing. People that believe in conspiracies don't believe they're conspiracies. They believe that they're real facts. Believe that it's truth. It does all the way through the facts. All right. And you would watch it, and then I'll call you back, and we'll discuss it. All right. You know what? I tell you what. I will do that. I will. In fact, I got a vacation coming up and I can watch the movies and I will watch it. You have a homework assignment. Yeah, I got a homework assignment. Inside job. Thank you. Matt Damon is pretty legit. He picks good movies. Well, but he's also real, real left. Yeah, he is. Like, real left. Yeah. Which is, couldn't be more polar opposite from you. Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm very bright, very conservative. Is he very left? He's way left. Didn't know that. I didn't know that either. He's way left.
A little bit later on the show, we're going to be talking to Trevor Marriott, who is the focus of something called Jack the Ripper, the Whitechapel Murders. And it's on National Geographic Channel. They sent me a copy beforehand, and I watched it yesterday. And I'm going to tell you right now, it's creepy as all getup. Sweet. Okay? It's creepy as all getup. Here's what's great about this thing. There's so much I didn't know about Jack the Ripper. Now, maybe some of us here do know. Did anybody hear him? I saw the movie with Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp. Jay went to high school with him. Yeah. He was a bad guy then, too. Yeah. Do you know anything about it, Woodsy? Was it...
The guy in England like in the 1800s? Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. And he would kill prostitutes. I read a little bit. I read a little bit about him. Yeah. But I was fascinated when I read it. Now, is that all you know? That's pretty much all I know. How about you, Jay? Since I was kind of doing the research on this thing, I read a little bit, saw a little bit. It was brutal. I didn't know anything. You knew nothing. I knew that he killed prostitutes. You knew the name. That's all I knew. Great serial killer name, by the way. Jack the Ripper. Jack the Ripper. The way he killed them was just gruesome. Wasn't it like surgical type incisions? I did know that. This is what I knew. I knew that they thought that Jack the Ripper could have been a doctor. Yes. And after watching this thing, it's very possible that he could have been a doctor. But this guy that we're going to talk to this morning, what he did was... He basically took the kinds of materials and the kinds of technology that we have today and then was given access to all of the evidence, all of the photographs that they had, all of the autopsy reports, the police reports, and with that set about trying to find out who did it. And by the end of the show, he is 100% convinced that...
he knows the identity of the person. Wow. That's rad. And I believe him. There's no, I mean, after watching it, there's no doubt in my mind that he's right about who did it. Awesome. And it's just, but what you have to know going into it is that it is graphic. Really? Yeah. Cause they let you on the inside of what really happened, which for me, it was just like this folklore. Oh, Jack the Ripper? He killed prostitutes. This is super, super serious. Wow. And they show you some photos that were taken back in 1888. And it's pretty gnarly. Anyway, we're going to talk to Trevor Marriott this morning. I mean, has anybody ever heard of a politician being against drunk driving laws?
Because when we come back, you're going to hear a state representative get the mic on the floor and talk about how the options where he's from and where he represents are you either hitchhike or drive, and they're not going to hitchhike. And so he's against these drunk driving laws. Wow. It's crazy audio, and you'll hear it next. How great is that? Adele. Adele. So wait till you hear this politician talking about he doesn't like how stiff the drunk driving laws are becoming in his state. You are ballsy to say something like that. Oh, yeah. Wow. Jay, the old man that does science is at eight. And if you've never heard it, you are. Oh, boy. You are in for a treat. Jay's the old man who does science. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. He's the old man with technology. Yep. Oh, wow. The old man who does science. So that is coming up at 8 a.m. And then at 9, the Charger girls are coming in to tell us all about some stuff. Oh, man. Can't wait. Yeah. Makes my mouth water. Word of the day is fajita. And so.
All you got to know is that at some point between now and 10, I'm going to say the word fajita. Of course you are. Of course. Because I do. It's impossible not to say it. How do you not say it? Gosh, this is going to be a hard one today. Oh, wow. So are you ready to hear this guy? Yeah. So he's from the state of Montana, where in Montana, it is, you know, a lot of wide open spaces. and they're trying to stiffen the DUI laws. And Alan Hale, who wasn't Alan Hale the skipper? The skipper on Gilligan. In Gilligan's Island. Little buddy. Anyway, he's a representative, and he doesn't like what they're doing. Representative Hale. Mr. Chairman, I have to rise in opposition to this, along with all of the other DUI laws. These DUI laws are not doing our small businesses in our state any good at all. They're destroying them. They're destroying a way of life that has been in Montana for years and years. These taverns and bars in these smaller communities connect people together. They're the center of the communities. And I'll guarantee you there's only two ways to get there. Either you hitchhike or you drive. And I promise you that they're not going to hitchhike.
Thank you. I want to defend him, but it's hard. You can't. I know, but I see where he's coming from. Nope. Just because they're so far away from each other, and why even have bars? Because that's the only way you're going to get to them. Cabs. They don't have cabs. But he can propose. It's a different place there, though. And I think, I want to say, they won't overdrink and get wasted. It's just a place where they all can meet up and socialize. And maybe they can't all afford cabs. He can suggest a designated driver program. And we're seeing it through the eyes of San Diegans where it's freeways and it's, you know. congested. Cabs everywhere. There's cabs places and there's public transportation and we're filtering it through our San Diego existence, which is a concrete jungle. Everywhere here in San Diego is humanity. Trollies and everything. But there's responsibility in every state. That's true. But it is different when you're living in some place and
It's not crowded like here. Not as many people on the road. Not as many people on the road. There's kids walking from parties that are out late. Of course. There's always going to be an obstacle. I spent a ton of time in that state. Montana? A ton. It used to be my territory at work when I would recruit for hospitals. I've been to probably 80% of the hospitals in that state. So I've been all over the great state of Montana. Dude. Yeah, it's wide open and it's beautiful and there's a lot of streets, but you can't say, oh, well, they should be able to go to bars and restaurants, get hammered and drive. I don't think that's what he's saying, though. Kind of. I mean, I think he's maybe saying you should be able to have a glass or two of wine and not be punished. He's saying if they crack down on the drunk driving laws, then people just won't frequent these bars as much, which will hurt small businesses. Yeah. Well. You can't really defend it. You can't. You can't. I'm trying, but it is hard. He's a good old boy, and I get where he's coming from, but to condone and outwardly condone that kind of stuff is just... The reason that they're probably having to come up with these laws to begin with is because stuff happened. Yeah. Otherwise, they wouldn't be trying to make these changes. It's a different world there, man. There's really no speed limit to speak of in certain parts of Montana.
Sometimes you'll be driving on the highway, and the speed limit, the limit will be 80. Oh, my gosh. Dude, it's the most. If you ever have a week to go see some really beautiful country and drive real fast, go to Montana. It's badass. Oh, wow. It's badass, but it's also real backwards there. Yeah. Real backwards. Speaking of backwards, I'm going to read this, okay? But everybody just needs to. Take it easy. Oh, boy. Really? What time is it? 639. Great. Here we go. Woods. No, mine. Has declared the following. Eclair? Eh. Might as well, man. Nice segue, LLB. LLB gathers the recap so she knows what I'm about to say. What? Wood says, and I quote, I'm giving up donuts. Yeah. He also told me that this morning. Today is day one. What? You didn't get a donut today? Every morning you get one. He says, I think if I really get off them and drink a water and have an apple in the AM.
Just had some apples and look what I'm holding. Bottle of water. Remember I told you you could treat yourself on Monday and Friday to a DP. What happened to that? I'm not even doing that anymore. Oh, okay. Oh my goodness. Well, it is day one. He says if I drink water and have an apple in the AM, I will drop some weight. Yes. I was getting every morning at 7-Eleven a fresh, it's called a chocolate bar, but it's an eclair. Is it always the same one? Always. What if they don't have it? I went in the other day, Sienna. They always do. I went in the other day, didn't get a Dr. Pepper because I had one in my car. And the guy at 7-Eleven goes, oh, no Dr. Pepper today? It's on my mother. I go, no, no Dr. Pepper today. What's his name? Do you know? Soonjar, I think. Soonjar. I went in there with you one time. It's S-U-N-J-A-R. Soonjar. Soonjar. Weird. You guys went into... 7-Eleven together. Treat yourself real good. I had to pick Mikey up for work one day. That's right. Good morning. I walk in. He looks at me and he smiles slash laughs every morning. Yeah. He does. He goes, oh, look, it's DP and Claire. Oh, fresh DP stocked up for you. I need to know more about this. Has he ever said to you, easier, Claire? I wish. Like, are you never going to have a donut again?
Or is this like a temporary thing? For the foreseeable future. Yeah, sure. It can't be your morning routine. I can't have that be my morning routine anymore. I can't, like, when I get up in the morning, it's what gets me out of bed right away. I get up, I'm like, boy, if I can get to that. It's the sugar, right? If I can get to that 7-Eleven and get that, there's something about. There's a chemical reaction that happens. There's something about. the DP and the way they blend together, I'll take a bite and then a drink. Dude, it's like, it's heavenly. I'm sure you'll get the same sugar out of the apple. Yeah. I always liked that when I was a little kid and we got a new cereal. I would wake right up like, ooh. That's me. I wake up, I'm so tired, and I'm like. At least I get my eclair. And I bounce in the shower and I haul ass downstairs. I feel the same way about my coffee. I see my coffee the night before and I go, I'm going to have you. I'm going to get you. I see you. If I start it in the shower and it starts to waft in, I'm like, oh yeah. I'm going to get out. Just get you. The best part of waking up is folding your cup. Yeah, that's it. I don't get coffee until I get here. Well, Woods, I'm going to make a suggestion. Okay.
To go from a donut to an apple is very shocking to the system. You might throw up and get sick. I think we should have tried to get a professional interventionist before you just went cold turkey. For real. It's a pretty good idea. You might get the shakes. How are you going to do this? I don't know. It's like when I drive, it's the 7-Eleven on Santa Fe. And when I drive, because I've missed it a couple days. I've been running a little late and I didn't have time to stop. So I'll see that. 7-Eleven, and I'm like, I'm sorry! I'll be here tomorrow! No one attack me when I raise the next question. Oh, boy. No one attack. This is a... Woods, I need you to leave the room for a moment. Really? Wow. I do. I do. I do. This is because I love you. He's getting up. He's going. He's leaving the room. Wait till the door closes. He's leaving the room. Wait till the door closes. Wait, hold on. All right. Go. How long will it last? He'll go in tomorrow morning. I believe that this will last at least a week. You think so? Yes. No. Are we talking about him? I think on Monday, he will get one. Monday. Tomorrow, he'll be strong. He'll hold up. Yeah, because tomorrow we have a live audience, and he won't want us to fillet him in front of the audience. So Monday. I'll go with Monday. Because the whole weekend, he'll be moving, and he'll be like, screw it. Screw it. I need one. I stay on the way home. Today? No. Absolutely. 100%. What? What?
Jay's in another room. He can only hear my conversation. He can't hear yours. On the way home what? What do you think? Come in here. Come back in. I'm waving him in. Who put that over or under on Monday? What do you think that would mean? What? On the way home? On the way home. I won't get it on the way home? I won't get it on the way home. Once I'm awake, I'm awake, but I think it helps. It jumpstarts my day. It's my fuel. Give me fuel. Give me fire. Give me that which I desire, which is an eclair. Maybe you should try some bran muffins. This is disgusting, L.O.B. You can't say that that's a... You can't say that's a genuine alternative. Well, you're going to an apple. That's a big step. But I like apples. They're delicious. Or maybe I'll do an apple and an orange. They're so boring. I like them too, but they don't compare. There's nothing that it compares to an eclair. Nothing. What about a healthy pastry? Where is that? Lots of places. Hey, Woods. Yes. It looks like you and Jay have almost an identical...
Existence. I read the first line of J's as well. Sienna. I'm going to get mad. Oh, you're going to get mad. I almost blew up his spot. He's so frustrating. Healthy. Look at him. Showing his guns off. He's pulling his sleeves. Wait till you read the first line. I almost blew up his spot. He's got giant biceps. He's 140. And he looks 25. I know. He looks 25. And he's got big muscles. D. Kim was so sick. Kim's his wife. Kim was so sick yesterday. that Jasper and I did P90X together. Jasper started doing it with me. His eight-year-old Sienna just threw her headphones off. I'm out. She's sitting on the couch in the studio. She got out of her chair, walked over, and sat on the couch. He's eight. He's eight. It's like child abuse. Yeah. He's got his little five-pound weights. He's lifting them now. Oh, my gosh. I think that's what I was working out with, by the way, when I was doing P90X, the five-pounders. Hey, come here, kid. You'll do. Oh, my gosh. His eight-year-old can do P90X. And he lasted the whole time? It's day two of him doing it. Why are you making him do that? I don't. He wants to hang out, and he does it with me. It's hilarious. And he really does it. Sounds like a good time.
He says, afterward, we ate dinner. Afterward, we ate dinner in the hot tub. And he asked me if I was capable of licking my armpit. My first reaction was no. But then he licked his armpit. So, of course, I had to try. Turns out, I can. I can, too. Can you? The next sentence is a real sentence. Uh-oh. Oh, my gosh. I wonder, is everyone can? I have stopped correcting his recap. Well, thank you. L.O.B. used to proofread him. I wonder, is everyone can? Why are you eating dinner in the hot tub? A hot tub. Why? Why? Because his wife is sick and doesn't know what they're doing. No, he eats dinner in the hot tub all the time. You do? Yeah. Hey, guys. Just put your plate on the side. It sounds fun and I'm jealous. I'm portraying that I'm angry and that it's lame, but I'm jealous. I want to spend one day in his shoes. They should do a show about him. They should do a reality show about that family. It's got to be fascinating.
It's got to be fascinating. Just flubbing words real good. Eating on the roof for dinner. Just trapezing in the backyard. Coming in on a zipline dessert. Kim ziplines dinner to them when they're out the fort. Yeah. He says, he goes, hey, babe, I'm sitting on a toilet and we're out of toilet paper. And she ziplines to the bathroom with a roll. With a homemade dumb waiter they have for dinner. Exactly. Did all your friends' kids want to... All your kids' friends want to come to your house when they were growing up? You know, it was funny. They were kind of scared of me. Yeah, I wouldn't feed them. That's why. He's very strict. He is strict. I would have loved... If I was a kid... Wow. Did you see Chris? Chris just made it look like... Yes, he is. It was very appropriate. Like, Chris didn't do it overwhelmingly. He wasn't overboard about it, but Chris just had a very look like, yes, that's true, Mike. I would agree with that statement, but Chris wasn't. Jay schooled Chris on a regular basis. Are you kidding me? No. Chris, hurry up. Hurry up. Get in your room.
Close the door. I don't want to hear you. Not true. Get back in your hole. Everything I say, I say with a smile on my face. I treat him like I treat my kids. That's right. I whip him. Kick him in the butt. Give him the occasional Indian burn. Tell him he's worthless and then smile. It was so fantastic. I go, yeah, Jay's very strict. And I look in there and Chris goes, hmm. Jay is Chris's direct supervisor. Oh my gosh. And is about a million times stricter with him than I am with Jay. But Jay knows how to get the most out of his employees. A thousand. I always have this thought. You can't say anything bad. about crystal i know i always i always have this thought no you can't no can you no right i have this i have this thing in my brain of let's say i didn't have this job anymore and jay was like well listen i got uh isbel production and i want you to come and you give you a little you know i love you and jamie you come on work for me and i'm like you come on you come on board come on board and i'm like and i'm like okay so we have this big event out of qualcomm and he's like all right
There's me and, like, two other dudes, right? And he's like, all right, we're building a stage. And I'm like, oh, God, I'm not good at this stuff. And I'm like, hey, dude, do you mind if I, you know, take off a little bit early or something? Him just dropping the hammer. Hey, Wood! Hey, Wood! Get that hammer in your hand right now. I didn't tell you you could lean. Imagine if he came to the work site and couldn't find you. Oh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. He would be. Because. Because Woods had to go grab some chew. Five minutes. Where is that SOB? Life Ender. And you come back, and Jay would go, Just because we're friends, you're going to take advantage? I'm like, dude, I got one can of snuff. I would be more likely to hire Jamie than I would hire you. That is true. Yeah, it is. That's 100% correct. Thanks a lot. Ella B. L.O.B. went to the mall yesterday and has a fear of escalators. Yes. Just a slight one. Yeah. I get that. Oh, wow. That startled me. She has a fear of escalators because when she was a kid, she got her foot stuck in one. So did my brother. Really? Yeah. Your shoelace. Creepy. Oh, see, I was trying to stop it. You ever just a control freak?
I was trying to stop it with my foot, so I was, like, wedging my foot into the edge. And you had them little canvas shoes, right? Yeah, and it was, like, and started, like, sucking my shoe in. Oh, my gosh. And I just was, like, struck with fear. I thought my foot was going to come off. Oh, yeah. Good. Yeah, I pulled it out, and then I did what kids do when they're in the most pain or the most freaked out. I had the silent cry. Yeah. And I was going. And just nothing for 30 seconds. My mom was like, what happened? What happened? Yeah, I lost my toenail. Oh, my gosh. I know. I was a little kid. Oh, that's filthy. I know. But I was a little kid. They made a big fuss over me, and they gave me a gift certificate for a pair of shoes. Really? Every time I get on one, I'm really, really careful when I get on and off now, because I feel like... Wait a minute. Did you just say... You said you got a free pair of shoes for that? Jasper. Hey, Jasper. You should go ahead and wedge your foot in there. I put steel toes in there. You can dig. You'll be fine. Play it up. Relax. Like you do...
We go to Disneyland. I stuck my foot in and told him to scream. It's okay. I'm going to put some ketchup on your shoe, all right? Don't worry about it. That's my first memory was me shutting the escalator down at Sears. Awesome. Too heavy? Oh, my. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I pressed a button. I wasn't too heavy. You can see why you're confused. He is a monster. All right. Now, before I play this for you, when we come back, I want you to know that the woman in the clip is okay. All right? So don't freak out. But this woman. Fell in a sinkhole, okay? Oh, boy. Now, hang on. She called 911, and you know me. I have a soft heart. She's okay. It's just that when I heard the audio... Oh, boy. You cried. The other. The other one. The other one. Tears from laughter. The other one. Tears from laughter. Sorry. It's... Okay, I'm just going to play it for you, and let's just watch your face, Sienna, as I play it.
From National Geographic's Finding Jack the Ripper. This killing did not have the look of a domestic dispute gone wrong. What set it apart? Was it savage? The murderer made two deep cuts along Polly Nichols' neck, nearly severing her head from her body. Did you guys know any of that stuff? No. Didn't know how bad it was until I saw the special. We're going to be talking to Trevor Marriott in just a couple of minutes. He's the guy that hosts it and is the guy that... went out on this investigation to find out the identity of Jack the Ripper. What's going on in news, Sienna? This is pretty crazy. At Camp Pendleton right now, they're under tighter security. The base officials announced this yesterday, that on Sunday night, just after midnight, three Middle Eastern men tried to enter without proper authorization. Now, stuff like this happens, but this was a little bit weirder. One of the cars, one man was in a rented silver Toyota Corolla to try to get in. He didn't have any...
documents to get him through. So they stopped him. Now, as he was being searched, another car came up, a Mercedes with two other Middle Eastern men. They were told to wait. They said they were asked where they were going. Both cars said they were going to Glendale and they made a wrong turn. However, both cars say that they don't know each other. And it was just after the other. And so something really weird is going on. And Camp Pendleton security has been stepped up. So if you live in that area. That's what's going on. I don't know how much the security's been stepped up, but, I mean, this is a big story right now. Yeah. Also, real quick, Scripps Hospital in La Jolla has been named one of the top 100 in the country for teaching. Really? Yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, there's nothing bigger and nothing better than opening day today. Yeah, baby. So excited. Gosh, it's the best time of year, best day of the year. The Padres will be taking on the Cardinals today in St. Louis. Tim Stauffer will take on Chris Carpenter, and we're going to get to see that new Padres lineup that I'm so excited about. They've added Jason Bartlett. They added Orlando Hudson. They added Cameron Maben. Ryan Ludwig's healthy. It's going to be a really fun, scrappy bunch of guys to watch. Brad Hopp is the first baseman. He's just a gamer. He's just a ball player. Yeah, 115 today. 115. And it's in the paper. It's on 4 San Diego. Yeah.
And I also believe that it's on ESPN as well after the Yankees-Tigers. Right on. And also, if you've got $25 million to spare, buy Tiger Woods' yacht. It's called Privacy. It's 155 feet long. He gave it to his ex-wife, Elin Nordgren, for a wedding present. And she decided to give it back because it costs $2 million a year to keep up. To maintain. That's what I was saying, man. They're so expensive to buy them. But to maintain them is just as bad. It's terrible. So they're saying that the economy on yachts has gone down. He's not going to get $25 million for it, more than likely. More than likely. He did just recently buy a 62-foot diving boat called Solitude. And the name of this yacht is Privacy. Wow. He's really giving up his privacy. Yeah, he is. Solitude. Oh, don't worry. We're going to get to the... Woman calling 911 because she fell into a sinkhole. We'll get to that in just a moment. But first, Trevor Marriott from the National Geographic Channel is on the line. You there, Trevor? Yes, I'm here. Thank you. I watched this show that's going to be coming on on April 3rd, which is Sienna's birthday. And it's going to be 10 p.m. Eastern and Pacific, National Geographic Channel, as part of Expedition Week.
It's called Finding Jack the Ripper. And Trevor, what's your background? How did you get to do this? Well, I'm a retired Murder Squad detective from here in the UK. And I'd always had more than a passing interest in this Jack the Ripper mystery. But due to the workload of a working detective, I never really had the time to sit and study it or look at it in any great detail. And then once I retired, I had that time. It became a very interesting cold case investigation. So it happened in 1888. When it first happened, they were called the Whitechapel murders because they happened in an area of London called Whitechapel. And what was really interesting about it was getting to see Whitechapel then and Whitechapel now and what it looks like there now in London today. And the one thing that I was struck by when I was watching this thing and that I kind of warn people that are going to see it. is that it's as gritty as it gets. They show you exactly what this guy did. And trust me when I say it's more than you think. It was heavy. Some of the crimes were horrific in nature. And as you quite rightly say, the viewing public will see some of these murder victims as they were in 1888 with early photography. Now, Trevor,
You, by the end of this show, are 100% convinced that you're pretty sure you know who did it. That's right. The prime suspect that is the subject of the program, without a doubt, is the prime suspect to date. There were 120 people over the years that have been put forward as potential suspects for Jack the Ripper, but as part of my investigation, I managed to eliminate, in my opinion... All of those. So it was a whole new line of inquiry which opened up this new suspect. Well, without giving away who Jack the Ripper is, I'll let people watch this show, Finding Jack the Ripper on Sunday night. But without giving it away, I guess the question I have for you is, this dude that you identify, he doesn't, unless I missed it, he doesn't appear to have... A surgical background. No, that's quite correct. And that is part of the mystery because it's always been accepted that the killer, whoever he was, after murdering these victims in the early hours of the morning in dark, dimly lit streets, removed vital organs with surgical precision. And once I started the investigation, this was one line of inquiry that I needed to look at because I didn't subscribe.
to that theory I couldn't see how somebody could kill and mutilate these victims in the way the killer did and then be able to surgically remove these type of organs I mean we're talking about a uterus from two of the victims and a kidney from another victim all very difficult to remove in the best of places but certainly in the dark cobbled street with no light it was almost an impossible task. So do you think that it was just a kind of a, not a coincidence, but I don't know. I don't know how to put it. I mean, how could he do that then? My view, and this is part of my investigation, was the fact that the killer didn't remove those organs, that in fact the organs were removed after the bodies had been removed from the crime scene and taken to the mortuaries. because the bodies were left for some 12, 14 hours in some of the cases before the doctors come to do the postmortems. Well, of course, in Victorian times, there was a great demand for body parts for research and experimental purposes. And so he could have sold them? No, the killer really has nothing to do with the removal of the organs whatsoever. It was standard practice that in 1888...
people with medical backgrounds, doctors, surgeons, anatomists, could go to mortuaries and freely take organs from dead bodies for research. Got it. So my view is that this is what happened to the organs, and that's why when the doctors come to do the post-mortems, they find that these have been removed with some medical precision. Got it. Got it. So he killed them on the street. And then later they took him out in the mortuary. Right. Wow. Right. That makes sense. This is one part that people have been looking at this for years and firmly believe that the killer removed them. Well, as you will see with part of the program, clearly that isn't the case. What classification would you put him in psychologically? I think he was a person that was mentally disturbed and, in fact, this particular suspect that we have did say to his lawyer that he suffered from this illness that manifested itself every so often and that he found the need to kill and mutilate women and he couldn't control himself. But would there be a classification today in terms of he was a sociopath, he was a psychopath, he was a...
Yes, a psychopath I think is probably more fitting. A legitimate? Jack the Ripper was a legitimate psychopath, which is, you don't come across that very often. I mean, it's kind of rare, isn't it? It's not that rare if you look back at some of the serial killers and the killers over the decades. He does fit into a pattern. I mean, we had another killer over here in the 70s that was called the Yorkshire Ripper, who was, again, going around killing prostitutes in not quite the same way, but he was targeting prostitutes, and he killed very many prostitutes before he finally got caught. So there are a lot of similarities to modern-day serial killers. Trevor Marriott is... He is the lead investigator in this show, Finding Jack the Ripper. It's going to be on Sunday night on the National Geographic channel. I saw it yesterday. Very compelling. Scary. And the one thing that was the most, I guess, shocking about it to me was just how little we know about what he did. And in this program, they are...
A hundred percent transparent in letting you know exactly what he did. And it's it's on a scale of one to ten. It's a ten in terms of, you know, rough to see what he did. Anyway, how many victims were there again, Trevor? Well, it's normally accepted that he killed only five between August and November in 1888. But my investigation uncovered other killers, other killings in London outside of those dates. which were of similarity to the other killings. And in addition to that, murders in Germany and in the USA shortly after this period of time, which all were Ripper-like fashion and all to this date remain undetected. Hey, Trevor, listen, we appreciate you coming on. Very fascinating special. It's called Finding Jack the Ripper. And it's Sunday night, April 3rd, 10 o'clock Pacific. Thanks for coming on the air with us. My pleasure. Thank you. All right. Thanks. After this guy was eventually arrested in the United States. Now, when he was executed, no more crimes that matched anything close. Nothing. Wow. He was caught here. He was caught in the United States. Executed here. Executed here. What charge? Same thing. Doing exactly the same kind of thing. And they didn't connect it. Same MO. Now, you've got to remember, back in those days, back in those days, it wasn't like it is today.
where you know all the details, you know all the... So what this guy had to do was he had to come, this guy Trevor Marriott, he just started weeding through tons and tons of records from that period to see if there was anything that matched it. And he found two murders in New York City that were an identical match. And now he had to go, well, how would they be here? How would this guy be here? And he found that there were boats that were shipping. right during that period of time from Germany to the United States. Now, in order for him to be able to put this guy that he had as the lead suspect here in the United States, he'd also have to put him in London at that exact period of time. So he went to this building that houses all the records. Sure enough, he finds this guy did ship out on a boat. During that period of time. Now, he has to put him in those three months in London. So he takes the logs and he's trying to find the logs for those three months. The logs are missing from those exact three months that he's in London. And he suspects that the reason is because his lawyer had the same idea that Trevor Marriott had. And his lawyer was like, I got to get a hold of those. Those have to disappear.
That's awesome. And they're gone. Wow. Just for those three months. And it's a trip because when they're talking to him and interviewing him in the library, as he's finding this guy's name written in these logbooks, he's having to whisper. And they're filming as he's finding it. And he's like, you see that he's like, it's this guy. There's no doubt about it. Wow. There's no doubt about it. It's this guy. Let's see. We are. Look what I got. Oh, you monster. Are you kidding? You're a monster. These are delicious. Where did you get that? Where did you get that? I called Adam and said, Adam, will you bring some donuts soon with you this morning? Jay is eating the most.
It tastes so good. Jay is eating the most delicious looking glazed donut I've ever seen in my life. There's some chocolate ones in here. Look at Woods. Maple bar. You guys want some? Woods has face in hands. I'll just bring it up. Yeah, come on in. Come have some. Jay eats donuts. Three times a year. Oh, they're in the pink box. They're bakery fresh. This one's hot. They're bakery fresh. Oh, wow. Oh, I can smell them. Oh, look at Woods. Oh, my God. Sienna just put the thing right in front of Woods. Oh, I can smell them. Now. They're warm. They just fall apart in your mouth. Woods. Woods. No, no, no, no. Oh, my God. If you missed earlier, he said he was done with donuts. What? You said you were done. When Woods left the room. Oh my gosh. I said I was done in the morning. I made Woods leave the room. It is the morning. I made Woods leave the room and I said to everybody, I go, how long do you think he'll last? L.O.B. said originally, till tomorrow. I said till tomorrow. He'll get one. I said he'll last one week. I said Monday. Sienna said Monday and that clicked in my head. I was like, that's it. The three of us agreed on Monday. We all agreed. He will make it to Monday.
Jay, on the way home, Woods just already ate a donut. What did you say, Woods? You said, no, all I need you to do is wake up after I'm awake. He has one bite left on that. You don't worry about it. I'm disappointed in you. Every morning, Woods would get a chocolate donut and a Dr. Pepper, and he said, he's done now. No, Dr. Pepper. Water. I'm not having donuts anymore. Water and a donut. He didn't even think twice. You lasted like two hours. Hey, you put them in front of me. I'm going to feast on them. Wow. He just... Woods may be the most, what's that, it's a word related to spontaneous, like impulsive. Impulsive. No. Impulsive person. I'm a thinker. You did not think that through. No, I knew I wanted it. I don't know. So you did think it through. Yeah. And your decision was, I want it, eat it. Yeah, and don't worry about it. And don't worry about it. He's very just instinctual. Yes. Just goes on his primal instinct. He's kind of a big animal. That was delicious. I don't know who I'm more disappointed in. Him. Jay. He's the monster. Or Woods. What do you mean? Why did you do that? Hey, you don't give a heroin addict a bag of heroin and think he's not going to shoot up. You know what I mean? I actually thought you weren't going to shoot up. I did too. Get out of here. You know if there's fresh donuts there, I'm going to eat them. Period. So you heard that Woods wasn't going to eat donuts anymore and you called Adam. Monster. To bring a point. And knowing Adam.
Adam was probably giddy with delight. Oh, absolutely. I mean, they knew I was going to eat it. I didn't actually think so. I did not think you would eat it. I will be honest. You guys don't know me that well. I guess I do not, because I felt that you would have... Dude, I can't say no to a freaking piping hot glazed donut. Can anyone really? How many things does Woods actually stick with? Now, Jay... I'm just saying. It's killing me! I do what I want. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I do. You don't worry about my diet. I'm worried about your health. My health is fine. Woods did P13X. P4X. P4X. Four days. He did P90X for four days. I don't know, 15. 15. 13. 13. I don't remember. All right. Nine. Who's counting? Jay. Jay's counting. I'm counting. Yeah, Woods will occasionally, he'll say, he'll change his mind. He'll change his mind. Yeah. He changed his mind. He wanted a donut. I'm a 35-year-old man. 35-year-old man. All of us do it, though. That wasn't even like 10 seconds. You know what, LLB? I'll tell you what it was. It was exactly three and a half hours. No, I mean, from when it was in front of you. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, you put it in front of me, I'm going to eat it. Write that down. If we had to give real time, I'm going to say that that was 12 seconds. I think you're right.
From the time Sienna placed the box down, jokingly, she placed it down knowing, oh, this is going to be funny. He'll look at it. No way he'll eat it. Right. Well, the only reason it took me 12 seconds, because I had to dig for a glazed. I don't like it. I don't like the other ones in there. But I had to find one that I liked. Did anybody else see what Sienna was doing? No. What? She had her hand up in her shirt. What are you doing? She was digging for gold. Oh, wow. I wasn't. My earring fell and I felt something fall in between my boobs. I didn't know what it was, but I was like, what fell in my boobs? Oh, wow. If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I would be broke. I felt my ears and I realized that one of my hoop earrings had fallen out and it's a small hoop and so it was in my bra. There you go. It's probably like ham sandwiches down there somewhere. You ever see something shiny, Jay? Oh, man, that was shiny. What's the other end? What's the other end? Well, it was literally something shiny that fell into her cleavage. Yes. And it took her a while to find it. Oh, man.
Cover a lot of ground. Yeah, some ground to cover. It was almost like when they send out a search plane in the ocean and they have to do like back and forth and back and forth. They set up a grid. They set up a grid. I've done it, y'all. I've done it. When you're looking for an earring in D-cups, you got to set up a grid for the cup and then you set out. Not with a lot of optimism. You don't know what's going to happen. I mentored Columbus. That's right. It scared me. I would have told Sienna's family that bought her those earrings. I'd have said, listen, I'm not going to give you a lot of false hope. She may or may not find the earring. We're going to start searching, but there ain't no. And then finally he called him. Good news. Good news. We got it. I personally dug it up. I found it. But we're still looking. It really scared me, though. I was like, what just fell in my boobs? I looked at the ceiling. I'm just glad we could help you. Yeah. Help you. Well, Woodsy. Woods, no more. Don't worry about it. Keep your eyes on your own papers. I'm worried about you. Everybody, you all have a plate of food in front of you. You eat what's on your plate. Will you have another? No.
No. I ate the last glazed. Okay. I don't like any of the other ones. There's a chocolate bar in there. I don't like those. It's not in there. It's maple. I don't eat maple. What am I, a monster? No, you're a picky donut connoisseur. A hundred percent. You don't give a connoisseur a maple bar and tell him to eat it. The guy knows his donuts. Like nobody's business. All right, so when we come back, I'll play you the woman who fell in the sinkhole and did the 911 call. She's okay. Everything's fine. Sienna gave me a look like you monster because there was something humorous about the call, the 911 call. I am going to watch you. I wonder if I'll laugh. It's next. Is there peppers in that? There is. That noise is Lauren almost filling her coffee. What? It smells like fajita. Did you get a fajita sandwich? No. I think this is mine or is this yours? Did you get the peppers? This is yours.
I think so. I don't know. It smells good. Oh, it smells good. I kind of wish I got yours now. What are they? Breakfast sandwiches from Subway. It's what Woods and Mike got. Old man that does science in a half an hour. How about that? And I don't know what he's doing. Me either. It's going to be real weird. I love it. It already looks scary. He's got a rag soaking in liquid. That's crazy. When I walk in in the morning and I see that the table has moved from outside to in the studio, I'm always like, yes! Because I remember it's the day that we... I love it and I hate it. It scares me and it really thrills me. It's thrilling. You and me both. You guys know Dimmick's in town, don't you? He's a big manager from out of town, from corporate. I know, Garrett, but Jay has said that, you know, it's going to be okay. He signed papers and everything. Jay's like a stuntman, right? Right.
And I ain't going to lose my job because he's blasting stuff off in the studio. Maybe I pull the cord on this operation. I think it'll be okay, Gary. Well, there's no such phrase, L.O.B. I think it's pull the plug. Pull the plug on this. I'm looking for the card right now. Yesterday, L.O.B. won a game of buzzword. She beat me by one. And L.O.B. off the air right now told Woods that someone said that Woods got robbed. She goes, can you believe that crap? It was like, good fella. She goes, can you believe this? Can you believe this? Somebody says you got robbed. Are you kidding me? The word was pull, and Wood said pull the plug. Lauren said pull the cord, but Lauren won. And Jay said, pull the cord. That's the right one. And I believe him. And I don't. I believe I won fair and square. I do not believe Larry said pull the cord. He's mad. I believe Jay was telling the truth, but I think that the game doesn't know what's up. I think that maybe the game, but it was the first thing that came out of my mouth. Did you find it, Jay? There's a thousand cards. I must have thrown it away. Listen, I think I probably lost it or something in the shuffle. No, no, it's here. Y'all were, you know what? Y'all were playing with this.
Y'all must have been fooling with it. And because you're playing with this bunch of cards, it probably got lost. Well, we start to repeat cards now. Oh, stop it. Crazy one and crazy two. There's 8,000 cards in there. Yeah, exactly. M1 Ashley from Ramona. What was the word of the day? The heat up. You just won yourself a four-pack of tickets to the King of the Ice Car Show. And 40 bucks worth of Dave and Buster's power cards. Hang on the line. Hang on just a second. Went to the DMV yesterday. Oh, I'm so sorry. You didn't tell me. Want to know how long it lasted? How long? Want to know how long I was there? Let me guess. Three minutes. Go ahead, Woods. He's very confident. And there's a confidence in his eyes right now that almost is like, I know it takes you three hours. Consider my mood today. How long was I in there? Three and a half hours. Two and a half.
I thought three minutes, by the way. Yeah, the confidence. Because he walked in, walked out. The line was too long. He wasn't even going to deal with it. Three and a half hours. Now he has to go back. I fooled you. I was in there for 15 minutes. I was going to stay. What were you doing? Going to the bathroom? You had to stop and poop, so you pulled over the DMV. Here's the key, guys. Make an appointment. Appointment. Not at some of them. Make an appointment. Some of them are always crazy. I've heard that certain DMVs are not as crowded. Escondido. I went to Escondido. Claremont's always a beating. Oh, now that I know. Yeah, that's the one I go to. That I know is a true fact. Yeah. Can we talk about the DMV for a second? Sure. Why have they not fixed it? I mean, this has been going on since when I went to get my license at 16 or 17. I waited like three hours that day. Like that was a long time ago. Why? Why? Why do you still fill out forms in triplicate? Why has it not been overhauled? Part of it's our fault. The customer. The consumer. Yes. Part of it is our fault. And this is what I mean. I was guilty yesterday. We're busy people. Sure. Okay? We know that we have to do something at the DMV, but we aren't always prepared. So when I got there yesterday, there was something that I hadn't filled out that I was handing in.
So that took time. I had to fill it. It was my fault. Okay. And there's a lot of knuckleheads like me. Now, luckily, I was in an appointment window line, but what if I had just been in a walkout? Toast. You know, I'd be filling this thing, and you know there's a million people. Hey, the guy's standing next to me. I walk up to a window, and I'm standing in front of a woman, and there's a guy standing next to me, and he's standing in front of a black guy. And the black guy leans back and he goes, he looks over to the girl next to him and he goes, can you tell him that he needs to bring his license plate in? And she goes, oh no. And he goes, okay, okay. And so that dude had to walk out and go get his license plate. Sorry, back of the line, buddy. No. I would hold a spot. Yeah, you should hold a spot. Can you imagine? I would hold a spot. I don't care. Guys out there. Dude, he's been in line this whole time. I know. I know. But, I mean, imagine. I have a solution. What? There's a hotline. There's a hotline that you call. And it is filled. And I mean there are a million phones in there, okay, for the DMV of California. So you answer the phone.
California. Hi, my name's Steve Woods and I just moved to town and I need to get an updated California driver's license. Is there any way you can email me the forms that I need to fill out so I can take them to the DMV? We've made it much easier for you, sir. All you have to do is go online and try to figure out the website as best you can and download it and just send it in or bring it in. Now, good luck. Yeah, well, even that is better than walking in going, when you walk in there, it is a train wreck. There's numbers over things. I've waited in the wrong line for an hour. Well, they're understaffed there as it is. They're not going to have a hotline. But we have unemployment. It's through the roof here. Yeah, it's through the roof. But they don't have federal funding to hire people. Yeah, you have to pay for it. I mean, you can't just create money, a budget. Fix it. I used to work for a document management software company, and it was just a simple little algorithm. It was like, if you...
If X, Y, Z happens, then you need Z. Right. You know what I mean? So it should be able to say, if you need to come in for your registration, these are the three items you need to have. And it should be a letter or an email notification. It says that on the website. You guys. But it should be automated and send it out to the person. Two thirds of the people that were in there didn't speak English. No English. And I would say that. Maybe just not to you because they thought you. They thought I. But like this dude, you know, he was like. He wasn't bilingual. He had to sit next to a person that was bilingual. And he said to the guy at first, he goes, you need to bring me your license plate. And the guy looked at him and goes, can you tell him to bring his license plate in? I mean, you need like a screwdriver. There should be a line that you want to get it. I mean, there's enough people in California that speak Spanish. There should be a line if you want to speak to somebody. You're talking about segregation. No, I'm not. segregating the Latinos. No, they have tests that are available. Maybe they should have their own water fountains too. How dare you? That's just terrible. Just a terrible thought. You can take the test in like a whole time. How dare you? Lauren just wants it so she can go into the black area.
I would go in that way. I'm just saying to help them out. I agree with you. You know what I mean? But we offer the test in Spanish. They should offer somebody that they can go to online. The lady that was helping me said, I go, you know what you guys should have up here? She goes, what? I go, hand sanitizer. She goes, doesn't help. I go, she goes, we used to have it. She goes, doesn't help. I go, why not? And she goes. Because y'all are sneezing on us all day. Oh my gosh. I sympathized with her. Absolutely. I sympathized with her. She goes, y'all are sneezing on us all day. She goes, and you know what else you guys do? And she was venting. I understand. I let her. She was right. She goes, you know what else you do? I go, what? She goes, you guys go like this. Oh, yeah. But they do it too. She was lumping you in. That's not fair. They do it too. That's the difference too. They're mean. They are mean. And so you're spitting all of their stuff all over. I had to go there. You know why they're mean probably? Because they probably deal with yahoos. I'm so nice at the DMV because I know. Me too. But not everybody is. I know. Last time I was there, I just wanted to get in, wanted to get out. I had to change my last name and take a new picture for my, since I got married, whatever. A nude.
picture. Wow. Unbelievable. I know. That was not the DMV. That was my house. So I was waiting. It's Jay's DMV. I had gotten approved. I have my form. Now all I need to do is take the picture. And so I go up to take the picture and I'm like, you know, looking at any reflection to see what I look like. Right. You know, I had to get up there and I say, gosh, how many people tell you that you should have a mirror up there so we can see each other? And she's like, no one's ever told me that. I was like. Wow. I was lucky enough the last time I went, there was an M1 there that worked there. Of course. And was helping Jamie with her stuff. Jamie waited in the line. By the time I got there, she's like, she looked around. She goes, just come on up here. Wow. Right to the front. Lucky you. Easy, Elton. Wow. Seriously. I was like, I love you. I love you. Thank you for being an M1. That's rad. That was cool. M1 detail from Oceanside. What's going on, dude? Long time to talk to you. Long time. Listen, make your mind that the DMV takes more in on one day than Vegas does on a four-day fight weekend. Are you serious? Is that a real fact? That's a stat I read in the YouTube about two, three years ago. More money? Yes. More money in one day than Vegas does on a four-day fight weekend. Holy... That can't be. How? Vegas? Statewide, maybe. Follow me for a second. Statewide? Statewide. Yeah, statewide.
That's a good point. They're losing as well. Yeah, that's a great point. DMV's not shelling out a thing. Hey, well, I gotta say, man, it wasn't a bad experience yesterday at the Escondido one. I've been to Oceanside where it's a nightmare. I mean, just a nightmare. And this is something everybody listening right now deals with. The DMV. Hey, one more, like law enforcement, if you're really, really, really nice. to the people behind the counter and kill them with kindness, and you do multiple things, you can get a lot accomplished. Yeah, that's true. Let me show off. Talk to you later. Thank you, bro. I was nice to the lady. Me too. She wasn't being a jerk. She was being conversational. And I bet she deals with some. Oh, jerks. I'm a D all the way up until I get in front of her. When I'm in line and stuff, dude, dude, the guy that pushes me out of the way.
Jerk. Yeah. But when I get to her who's been working there busting her butt, I'm like, how are you? Good to see you. But in the line, I'm that guy. I could people watch at the DMV. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's some characters. That's for sure. It's a cantina scene in Star Wars. Absolutely. Are you and your friend here for a drink? They should play music in there or something. They should have video games. Like it's so scary and dark and uncomfortable. It's so drab. What would the DMV be like if we could make it?
whatever way we want it. Disco. Comfy chairs. Food. Movie theater. Play some movies while you're in line. It'd be online. You wouldn't have to go in at all. Yeah. It'd be online. Okay, but let's just say for the sake of the spirit of the conversation, you've got to go into the DMV. How can they improve? Well, of course, I'd need a gym. Yeah, I need a rock wall. I need a rock wall. Just chin-ups in line. Room to do lunges. Yeah. Room to do lunges with dumbbells. A yoga mat. A yoga mat. Free weights. They should have a cafe in there. Absolutely. A cafe and a TV. With a TV. Can you imagine? They'd clean up. They'd make more money. They'd make a ton of money. Everyone would be happy. Hey, meet me at the DMV. Let's have coffee. Like Lauren's BFMC could go play like a solo acoustic gig there. Now think about it. Think about it for a second. If they had a cafe. At the DMV, they're making money and they put screens in there that tell you your number. Absolutely. I had a really like...
A lazy person thought that would be awesome. What? Is if they had like chairs, like there's an escalator and the chair, you know, like an escalator and you sit on your chair and it moves. Wow. That's badass. Massaging chairs. And then when you get to the front of the light, it's just like the chair goes underground and then it goes back. That is lazy. You know what would you say? One more time around. Yeah, let's go. It's hysterical. Maybe they had donuts. Because it's easier to fill out forms when you're sitting down, too. Maybe it's like a little desk. You should have the massage like they do when you get a pedicure. M1HB from Arby has a great piece of info for us. Go ahead, HB. I had to go because of all the license debacle that's going on right now because they're so far behind. Yeah. If you go online, they have the wait times for all the offices. How rad is that? Oh, yeah. How accurate. Dude, it's probably instant. It's pretty accurate. It's probably real time. Yeah, I was going to go to Poway because it said seven minutes. Well, then it jumped up to 35 minutes. Escondido said, I think it said 12 minutes, and I was there for 15 minutes. Yeah, that's the bad. Rad, rad, rad. I've had a lot of good experience with the Escondido location. Yeah, we're probably done now. I know. It's MinuteClinic all over again. MinuteClinic is now an hour clinic. Yeah.
Always go online and check out the wait times. Escondido sucks. Escondido DMV sucks. Thank you, HB. You're welcome, guys. We'll see you tomorrow. So I told you about the Minute Clinic. At CVS. CVS. And you continue to talk about it. To talk about it every day. Rebecca went there the other day. Oh. She, I know this is going to upset you because it's an awesome story, but she went to the Minute Clinic. She got there at 10. When they open. Yep. And walked out of the CVS with the prescription in her hand at 1040. I said, if you went to urgent care or if you went, you know, made a doctor's appointment, if you went to the ER, I said, you wouldn't have even been seen. Right.
At 1040. No way. They would probably, and I'm being realistic about it, I'd say at about 1045 they'd probably call you back. Or you'd be sitting on the deli paper. Yeah, I'm not trying to be sensational and go, oh, it would be 11 before they called you back, even though it might be. It could be. But I would say probably 1045 they'd say your name wrong in our case because they can never say Esparza. Esparanza. Rebecca Espinosa. Espinosa. Espana. And so then you would go back and they would put you in the dungeon. And then you wait in the dungeon while you hear the doctors in the rooms around you. You wait in the dungeon, miserable, wheezing. The worst is when you're waiting in the dungeon alone and you hear the doctor come take your chart off the back of the door and then leave. Yes. I'm like, no. I thought you were coming in. Yeah, yeah. He's teasing. He's here. He's here. I hear it. I hear it. He probably walks by and just jiggles it as a bit. He's like, yeah. He shows the nurses. He gets the nurses' attention outside the door. He goes, psst. And she looks and he goes,
And then run. And we're like, you sit up. She's stifling her laugh. You get ready for it. Stop slumping. In Jay's case, you put your clothes back on. In my case, you stop doing push-ups in the doctor's office. I'm usually going through the cabinets looking to see what they've got in there. You don't do that? No. Well, we needed Q-tips. I ain't going to pay for it. Maybe I'm just looking at what they've got. I paid my co-pay. That means I'm entitled to gauze? Yeah. Medicine? Q-tips? We haven't paid for tongue depressors in 14 years. I stir my coffee with them. I stir your coffee with them. That's what we make our homemade popsicles with. What Kim will do is she'll take some orange juice, pour it in the ice tray, and we'll stick a tongue depressor in it. That I stole from urgent care on my $20 cup pay. Oh, my God. My boys and girls eat frozen oranges. Here's what you do. Here's what happens when you go to this minute clinic. You walk up to a screen. You type your name in and hit enter. And it says that, you know, you're first in line because there's nobody ever there. And then you sit down. And a woman opens the door and says your name. And you walk into this pristine, I mean, sparkling.
clean little room. You sit down. She asks you what the problem is. Does a quick exam. Writes you a prescription which instantly gets sent to the pharmacy. Because it's right there? Because you're in there. You walk up and about 10 minutes later they call your name. You get your prescription and you're gone. See I have two CVS's. There are two in La Jolla. Neither of them have the Minute Clinic. And I want to go in and talk to a manager. Minute Clinic is the greatest. It's the greatest thing. And I talked to the lady. It's coming, I bet. I hope. Last time I was there and I said, have you guys noticed a spike? Because I've been talking. And she goes, oh yeah. She goes, we have noticed a dramatic. She goes, I always know when you talk about it. Yep. And I said, well. I wish every one of them had it. Yeah, the one by my house, I don't know if it's new or not, but I just went there two days ago and noticed the sign, and I was like, oh, Mama Cita. I can't wait to get sick. Oh, yeah. Seriously. Won't be long, L.O.B. I know. L.O.B., I'm telling you, it's the greatest experience ever. All right, I got to play the 911 call for you because I haven't played it yet. Okay. Now, the woman is okay. She's not hurt. Mikey. But.
She had fallen into a sinkhole. It's only a seven-second clip. Oh, boy. It's a safety hazard. Now, she had fallen into a sinkhole. Do we know where the sinkhole was? Yeah, it was in her backyard. Oh. Yeah, and she had her cell phone. Woods must have walked over it. Yeah. And so she called 911. Oh, boy. Here we go. 911 emergency. Do you please fire an ambulance? You're in the ground? You're in the ground? Please make a song out of that. I'm chilling in the ground. I'm in the ground. You're in the ground? Is she saying somebody help me? Yes. Wait, I don't... It sounds like the phone is up out of the sinkhole or something. You're in the ground?
I know it's serious. She's okay. She's okay. Oh, my God. But I'm sorry. And you guys know me. I got a soft heart. I was listening to that. I can just see you going through the audio. Oh, my gosh. This is so sad. Oh, this is going to be brutal. I'm trying to think what it sounds like. It sounds like the phone's at the top of the same call and she's yelling underground. That's what she did. How did she fall in? First she called like every friend she knew and nobody was home. Then she called her husband and got him and was able to tell him what was going on. But then the call dropped. And so she was like, great. So she said, I got an idea. I'll call 911 and then I'll toss my phone up on top of the...
Grass so that they can like trace it. Smart. Very, very smart. Risky though. Risky. What if it was busy? I know. It's happened. It's been busy. Turned off and it landed up top. What's that? What is that? I can't understand what you said. Okay. I think you said something about winchels. You're on your iPhone. Did you say you're on your iPhone? You bought a rifle. You're feeling happy? You're feeling happy. I like that. Me too. That hole is big. I think she said, some bunny's hopping. Easter's coming. Oh yeah, Easter is coming. Thanks for letting us know. It's probably the Easter bunny. You're going camping?
She's going camping. Have fun. Hit one for more options. She's like, dang it. Yeah, they're like, if you said library, press one. You have reached 9-1-2. I'm in the ground. I'm sorry. She's okay. She's okay. It's the only reason that we can laugh about it. Holy cow. Wow. I love it. Got my funny bone real, real good. Old man that does science is next. Who?
Waylon Jennings, yeah, Shooter. My dog's name's Sage. Is this guy a kid that sings country music? Yeah, and he is phenomenal. See if that does anything for you. I like it. Yeah. That's why we named our Black Lab Shooter. Listen, it's so weird. Sienna's mom sounds like this. Hello? And Sienna sounds like this. And Sage already sounds like this. She does. Uh-huh. And I'm telling you that when I do that imitation of my dad going, nurse, it's exactly what my dad, I mean, I'm hearing it in my head. Nurse. And I can go, me again. And it sounds just like my dad. Now, I don't think it'll be true. Well, maybe it will. But I wonder if all of my boys are going to have my voice. Maybe two of them will or one of them will. Yeah, at least one will. Yeah, like Avalon doesn't have really the raspy voice like Waverly and I do and my mom. But I'm sure one of them will. I had to discipline Luke yesterday. Oh, already. Yeah. How bad? Eh, not bad. I mean, not bad. I was really asking God to tell me what to do. I think God wanted me to be harsher, but I just, I didn't, I couldn't.
But, oh my gosh, what a pain in the butt that kid was. What did he do? He was in one of those moods where he just wanted to cry. Yeah. And he didn't want anything. He didn't need anything. He just wanted to cry. He's in a bad mood. He's in a bad mood. And so he walks up to Rebecca and he's got his arms around her legs and he's crying. And she's got her hands over her face like. I seriously, I can't take another second all day long. Yeah. All day long. And Nita said, you don't understand, Mike. These boys, they cry today all day. This is all they do today is cry all day. My wife, I'm surprised, hasn't lost her mind. Yeah. And so I got Luke and I brought him over and I sat him down on the couch. Now, if I had done this exact same thing with Jake when Jake was a year and a half old, Jake would have cried, pouted, and sat there. This Luke arches his back up. He arches his back up, and then he spins over, and he starts getting off the couch. Oh, wow. And I go, uh-uh. So I pick him up, and I put him back and sit him back down. Oh, my gosh. He doesn't know.
That little dude takes a swing. Like he goes, turns around, and I mean whips it. I'm telling you, he's got this little kid superhuman strength that I was like, ooh. Ouch. Put a little sting in that. Put a little medicine on that, didn't you? Yeah. And so he's crying and crying. And so I grabbed him by the hips. And I just held him. Held him on the couch. And now he's losing his cock-a-doodie mind. He's a tantrum. Oh, dude. Purple face. Holy cow. Veins. Purple face. Eyes like, you know, Jack the Ripper. Yeah. He's looking at me like he's going to kill me. Oh, gosh. It's not hurt eyes. It's if you don't let go of me.
You're going to pay for it. You're a dead man. You're a dead man. Angry eyes. It was like, I'm giving you five seconds. And if you're still holding me in five seconds, I'm not going to be responsible for what happens to you, Dad. There will be no mercy. There will be no mercy. And so I'm looking at him like, I'm like, you got to be kidding me. You're a year and a half old. You're not the boss of me. So I picked him up and we went into the office. And I sat down, and I'm like, I'm going to have him look at the fish tank. He'll calm down. Sat him on my lap to look at the fish tank, screaming, arching the back. He wants down. So I let him down, and he just stood there and cried. And while he was crying, you know, he's getting tired because he's been going at it now for a while. He's getting tired. I look at him. I go, dude, I love you. You can't do this. You're flipping out.
You're losing it. Just like that. Just like that. I go, you're flipping out. I go, I love you, Bob. I love you. Because I want to love him and let him, like, because I'm like, I'm going to take the love approach with this kid. I love you. He doesn't care. He goes for the door. He goes for the, he darts for the door. And I'm like, no, you're not leaving. So I close the door. Holy. This sucks. Actual audio of Luke. Literal audio. Now he's a caged animal. Caged tiger. Banging. Yeah. Oh. On the door. Yeah. Flipping. Wow. Should have recorded. So I know. Dude, that's a great idea. No. I want to hear it. Yes. I want to hear it. It's better. It's audio. He's a little innocent baby. No, no. And we're not saying he's not innocent. All kids do it. It's not something that he does that's different.
I want to hear the freak out. I need to hear the freak out. You got to hear what would be interesting, because I don't want to play you an annoying kid crying, but what would be interesting to you to hear is his resiliency. Yes, that's what I want to hear. This little SOB. Stubborn. He is so stubborn. He's nothing like Jake, nothing like Ryan. He's smaller than all of them. He's skinnier than all of them. And he's stronger than all of them. Put together. Yeah. And it's just so weird that they're twins because it started that Luke was bigger in the womb and then Ryan outmuscled him. And they say that this will happen in the womb. Ryan outmuscled him for the food. Wow. Yeah. And started sucking up the resources. That's why Luke is smaller. Wow. That's why Luke is smaller than Ryan is. But I'm telling you, that little dude's got some get up and go.
He's, the best word for him is live. Yeah. He's like, when I look at Luke, you know who I see him looking like? Remember the movie Urban Cowboy? Yeah. The bull riding convict named Wes? Yes. Oh, boy. Just shredded. Yeah. And just lean. Yeah. That's what Luke looks like now. Yeah. Shredded and lean. Yeah. I'll post a picture later. All right. You guys ready for this? You guys ready for a little old man that does science? Oh, yes. He's the old man who does science. He's the old man with technology. Oh, there he is. The old man who does science. He's got on his smock. The old man with technology. He blinded me with science. He's got on a white lab coat. Yes. With something perverted written on it. Of course. Unbelievable. Says he's an OB-GYN. Minus the OB.
And let's see. In front of him is like a picnic table that he's got a little curtain drawn over it, a little table cover. And on top of that sits, from left to right, a clear crystal vase. It's filled two-thirds of the way up. To the right of that is a metal, looks like a large metal dog bowl. And to the right of that is one size larger metal dog bowl. Jay is wearing protective gloves, and it appears that he has a white candle in a glass container. So it's a candle. No, no, no. Oh, that's not. Soapy water. Soapy water with a rag in it. Soapy water with a rag in it. Okay. And then you've got two bags of something. Yeah, this is dry ice. Dry ice. Yes.
Oh, boy. All right. So this is the same kind of dry ice that we built the soda pop out of. Oh, the soda bomb. The soda pop. The soda pop. I like to use that word. Oh, yeah. Soda pop. That word will get you in trouble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was not a bomb. No, absolutely not. No, no, no. Of course it wasn't. Of course not. It was a soda pop. It was a soda pop, but it was a pop bottle. Pop bottle. Pop. Popped really loud. That actually popped loud. Really, when you think about it. Now, what are you doing? So what I'm going to do is I've got, basically, I've got two little experiments that are going to go on. So I'm going to take the dry ice and I'm going to put it into the bowls of water. Okay. Dry ice into a bowl of water. Here comes a lot of steam. Oh, he's working quickly. Oh, I don't like dry ice. Yeah, your throat bit again. My throat. It's going on my lungs. It's going on my lungs. To this one, I'm going to add just some soap. Soapy water. Just soap. Just soap. Oh, wow. Okay. Can you hear that? Listen to that. It'll start to crawl up and build this weird bubble. It's bubbling out now. And the other one looks like it's a fog machine. There's just tons of cloud pouring out of it. So now what I've got is a soapy rag. Okay. And I'm going to take the soapy rag and I'm going to just slide it across the top. Okay. Sliding across the top of the other one. The one that's got the cloud coming out of it.
And as he slides it across, back and forth. Whoa. What's happening? One big bubble. Oh, it's making one big bubble. Oh, it pops. What do you call this? Just soap and bubbles and ridiculousness. Oh, my goodness. Listen to that. Listen to it. There you go. Sounds like a cauldron. Oh, there's one big giant bubble for me. Oh, oh. Looks like a huge eye. Oh. No, no, no, no. And what happens when it pops? Oh, wow. It spills the cloud everywhere. Jay is amazing. It's like an egg yolk. Yeah, it was. It was. It's like an egg yolk. It got big, and then it finally broke, and all this cloud yolk spilled out all over the table. It's not going to take too much soap in the water already, but that's kind of cool. Hey, I liked it. Wow. Jay did it. Good job. It sounds great. And we're filming it so it'll be online and you'll be able to watch it. I don't want to blow anything up. How do you clean this up? Chris just looked at me like, I got it. Listen to that. That is so creepy. I don't know if you should paw at that with your bare hands. He is not afraid. Chris?
All right, Chris, get to work. Clean it up. Poor Chris. Hurry up. You ain't done yet. It's sticking to the table. Oh, well. It's probably Chris's fault somehow. Spilling. There's water. Chris, if you drop one eyedropper, even one eyedropper of liquid anywhere, you're fired. You're done. That's it. Done. Eyedropper. Poor Chris. He works so hard for Jay. This isn't toxic, right? Let me tell you about Chris, our phone screener. He wants Jay's approval in the worst possible way. Yeah. And Jay gives him just enough approval, but never the full approval. He's so sweet. I don't want to get his head big. No, I ain't going to get his head big. I know y'all are in love with him. All right? Why don't you just marry him? Like, just when I think I couldn't love Chris anymore. I know. I do. He brought in bananas and animal crackers. He brings us snacks. If I had money, I'd buy him a beach house. Me too. Me too. I would. I'd buy him a beach house. I'd buy him a castle, so take that. Hey, this is for you, kid. Yeah, keep it up. Yeah, I'll keep it up. Keep with your castles and your stuff. Next thing you know, guess what? He's going to be practicing. You're going to walk in here, and you know what you're going to hear? You're going to hear Chris.
Chris, Chris, Chris. Chris, Chris, Chris. You know you need your Chris of wisdom. That's right. The Chris Show. Chris is the young man who does science. That's right. The young man. He's so sweet. Don't think he ain't trying to get your job, Sienna. He's not. He told me he could read the news. He is too sweet. Really? He's so sweet that I'm going to kick him in the balls. When I came in this morning, I'm always the first one hearing the coffees. It's on a timer, so it's going. And I walk in, the coffee's brewing, and he has a post-it on the coffee maker that says, coffee's ready to go. I'll be bringing in new coffee and filters in the morning. Such a sweet kid. You don't need to do that. It's unbelievable. What's your story, Chris? I don't know a lot about you. Come here. I want to know everything about him. I want to learn about you. I learned a few things today. Oh, wow. Showed it to him. That's creepy. No, I asked him what his hobbies were.
You did? Just like that? Yeah. Hey, what are your hobbies? I did, yeah. What do you do outside of this? I said, I go, besides this. She's doing research on Chris now. What did you say, Chris? I have a huge interest in film, and my minor's going to be film and television, and my major's going to be business marketing, so I want to produce. Let's buy a movie studio. What's your favorite movie? My favorite movie? It's Lord of the Rings. Is this a passing fancy for you? Sorry, sorry. Is this a passing fancy for you, and you're going to move on from us as soon as you get the opportunity? No. Duh. I saw him filling out applications online in the other room. You don't get it. He's using y'all. He's looking up Martin Scorsese online. You know that this guy just wants to be a director of photography. He's going to get out of here the minute he can. I love it all. I love this. I love it all. The whole thing. He's the man. As soon as Steven Weinberg comes calling, he's done. Out of here. You're 24, right? I'm 22. 22. Got it. You said 23 yesterday. I was like, don't take it personally. There's some 22-year-old kids that could take a lesson from this young man right here. That's right. You gets it. Hard worker. Very responsible. You have a girlfriend? I did have a girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. What? What happened? When?
Like two months ago, it just kind of fell apart. Really? Do you want me to go find you somebody? Yeah, I would. I can go out there and find somebody. Can we do a dating thing with you? Wait, wait, wait. I want to know about it. Yes. Do you want to go to the bunny ranch? How willing are you to talk to me if I ask you questions? I can talk to you. Okay. Best husband ever. If I ask you personal questions, you'll answer them? Depends on personal, but yeah. Why did you guys break up? I want to know. I know, but he's so sweet. Was it our fault? No, it wasn't your fault. I thought we had a communication thing, but we just kind of liked different things at the end. He liked sex and she didn't. That was it. I'll tell you why they broke up. Because he probably beat her up. He probably just held her down. You don't know him like I know him. He's the most gentle person on the planet. He's the most gentle person ever. His head got so big, he couldn't come over and see her anymore. Couldn't go on dates anymore because his head was so damn big. Couldn't fit in the car. Had to get a convertible. Chris, how long were you guys together? Just a couple months or so. No, it wasn't that big. You need to be running through as many as you can. Stop it, Woods. Let him do what he wants.
I'm sad. So you broke up two months ago. Yeah. Have you had any contact? Yeah. I mean, we're still friends. Of course they are. How could you not be? You're so mature. And that's, is that mature? Yes. See, I don't think that's mature. It is. See, I don't think you should keep in contact with exes. But it's not. But it wasn't that close. It wasn't that serious. Oh, it wasn't that serious. Okay. You were friends first. We were friends first, anyways, and then we tried to date, and then it just didn't work out. Okay. And they're still friends. That's good. Now, have you dated anybody since then? No, I haven't. Yeah, maybe we find him a girl. Let's do it. Yes. Please. Maybe we find you two, pal. I'm getting, what? Maybe we find you two, pal. I thought he said a tube owl. Tube owl? Maybe we find a tube owl. You're 22. I'm telling you right now that whoever the girl is. Woods, don't corrupt the kid. I'm not corrupting him. I'm not saying he has to slay all of them. I'm going to be like the older sister. But I'm saying that you need to go out and experience. Overprotective? I'm going to be overprotective. This girl. She'll have it. No one's going to. No one's going to. Oh, man. She's dead coming in here. I'm telling you. Good luck, girl. She's walking into the lion's den with these two. We have to give her a stamp of approval. Yeah. Chris shocks us. He's like.
The only thing that's really important to me is that she'd be black with really big breasts. We're like, no. How'd you know? Sign me up for that. It's the only prerequisite that I have. Do you have a type? I do have a type. What does she look like? What does she look like? Like Brazilian. Oh. Exotic. Exotic. Exotic as if I had gone on a plane, went to an exotic country, met somebody, and she came back with me. Wow. Wow. Wow. I actually thought that in my head. I actually thought H.M. Rojas in my head. H.M. H.M. H.M. H.M. H.M. H.M. H.M. I said match rated heaven. Match rated. She's so sweet. She's so sweet and kind. So is he. It would be.
She loves coffee. He loves coffee? He's off the caffeine. I'm off the caffeine right now. I want you to pretend that it's just me and you in the room and nobody can hear what I'm saying to you right now. Don't listen to Woods. He will corrupt you. I will not. I promise. Gosh. I can't corrupt him. He's free will. He does his own thing. No. I have willpower. There's no one sweeter than Chris. Do you? I was really sweet when I was young, too, Sienna. No, you weren't. Yes, I was. You were never. Yes, I was. Did you bring bananas? No, but I did some real romantic stuff when I was young. You were like Chris when you were seven. When you were seven years old, you were like Chris. But by eight? You were already trying to get with girls. You had motives. Chris doesn't have motives. Yeah. He just wants to love. He just is sweet. He wants to love. You rode three miles in the snow. For second base. For second base. Fair enough. True story. True story. On a 10-speed. That's true. On a 10-speed in the snow. Missy Rooney. Yes. Mickey Rooney. For second base. I know that dude. You know, it was a wonderful time. And you rode two miles in the snow.
That's Andy Rooney. That's Andy Rooney. Oh, who did you say? Andy Rooney. I don't know if there is a Andy Rooney. Chris, are you as sweet as we think or is there another side? I am as sweet as we think. I believe it. Yes. Yeah, he's a nice guy. I'll talk to you after the show. We'll take some. No. No, Chris. No, I'm not supposed to. I'm not going anywhere near you. You can do a lot worse getting advice from this guy. I really can't. I'm sorry. I was the one I can. I would like to try to get our management to hire the guy. Because he's a find, okay? He's a diamond in the rough, dude. He's a diamond in the rough, you know? 5701949. Yeah, that's fine. Build him up. Go ahead. It's either him or me, so take your pick. Yeah, just build up that head. Go ahead. If you hire him, I'll walk. Yeah, I'm walking. That's right. The minute he becomes full-time, I become no-time. That's not true. Old-time, but I'm already old-time. Chris is really cute, too. And any girls would be so stoked. We need to make this happen. I'm going to put my profile picture. It's me, Woods, and Chris from Independence Jam. I'm going to put it in my profile picture. If you were 22, single. Yeah, Chris. Yeah. Oh, he's a sweet puppy dog. Oh, my God. She'd break him. He looks like one of my ex-boyfriends. He does. Wow, Jay. Yeah. Yeah, she agreed. That was... I didn't even hear it. What? He goes, she'd break him. Not when I was...
See, you forget I'm a jaded, scorned woman. When I was 22, I was sweet as apple pie. Really? I bet. I bet you were. Every once in a while, you know, you get these glimpses of L.O.B., just a sweet little angel. She's had her heart broke, so now she can get you. That's right. That's what turned me. I love this music. I love it. I love it. I love it. My wife doesn't get Fleetwood Mac. Oh, that's unfortunate, dude. I was trying to explain it, you know. I was really trying to explain, but it's hard to explain. I'll have a crack at her. Try it right now. Try it on me. Oh, and you? Okay. So the beauty of Fleetwood Mac is this. You had this very popular band in England. They weren't going... They were very popular for a while. No, no, no. What you've got to explain to her is... Why it sounds good? Why does it sound good? Because she said, this sounds dorky. Okay. Lindsay Buckingham. One of the greatest...
most innovative guitar players around. I know you're not into that because you're a lady. However, you add in the seductive and sultry, sweet harmonies of Stevie Nicks, who is this... Yeah, but she's not... I don't hear her on this. She's in there. She has to listen to the whole Rumor CD to get this song. Play her Silver Spring. This song is dorky. It is a little bit. If you don't lay down in the cold grass and let me do my stuff or whatever. It makes me feel like I'm on vacation. You can let me do my stuff. It's happy. This is a little bit on the dorkier side of Fleetwood Mac, but if she listens to rumors all the way through, she'd be in on this one. Let me do my stuff. I don't even listen to the words. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate. Because it isn't. Yeah. Be a part of my fleet. I'm also Mac. Teddy. Rooster. You want some Mac? Baby. Stevie's a girl. I can cheese. You know, I used to have an RV called a Fleetwood. People say I'm light on my fleet. People used to call my RV the wood. This RV is a duck. I just blew that. Just like Jay Wood. Can I give you... Oh my gosh.
Don't stab me in the mouth. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is Kings of Leon. Yeah! Which one? Youth and Young Manhood. Awesome. Is that the first one? Yep. We just played something. Played some Molly's Chambers. Let's see. So, I got something for you. I can tell you about something that I've been putting off that I thought was going to be a good idea, and I'm going to tell everybody about it because I think it's dorky now. Are you pulling the curtain back? Yeah, pull the curtain back. I know it's going to be. You do? I do too. Oh, yeah. I told him. What band from high school did you... What band from your high school days did you hate because it gave you the dork chills? But everybody else liked it. So everybody was in on them. They were very popular.
But to you, you were completely dorked out by them. And even to this day, when you hear it, you're like, ugh. And for me, it was Culture Club and Bananarama. Really? Mikey told me one time, I was picking music for our program here, and he goes, listen. He goes, please don't put any early 80s British. There was one in particular that killed me. West End Girls by the Pet Shop Boys. You said it gives you the shiver. It makes my skin crawl. I love that song. That's how I feel about that song. When I was in high school, third eye blind, semi-charm kind of life. And it was like... And you didn't like it? I liked that song. But I'd be in the car bobbing my head, but secretly I was like, ugh. And see, when I would hear... I would listen to them, because I know all the words, you know, because I listen to them. It was just one of those ones that I hated. What is it? Do you guys remember Yaz? Love that. Upstairs at Eric's. All my friends loved it. I hated it. You hate this, don't you? I like this song. Me too. I think I don't like anything.
that you can hear their British accent. You don't like the actual sounding British. Oh, I like it. Now, none of you except for Jay will know this. Jay, do you remember Time Passages by Al Stevens? I don't think so. You will. Let me play it for you. You'll remember. As soon as I play this, here you go. Al Stewart, sorry. You hear that British accent? Yeah. Time passages. And you really hear the S's on there. Time passages. Do you not like the Beatles? Give me one where they sound real British. I want to hold your hand. I want to hold your hand. I don't think so. I don't hear it. I don't hear it either. I think you'll understand. Who says understand? Landon. I'll tell you where you did hear it was his kid.
Sean Lennon. You heard it on that. 570-1949. This was actually being bantied about the other day. M1 Ben from Tierra Santa. Go ahead. Which was yours? It's my wife's number one. Yes. It's my wife's number one hated. And it was one of those deals where... In high school, everyone thought they were the coolest thing in the world, but you were like, oh, I don't get it, man. I don't get it. I've always liked him, man. I've always liked the way his voice sounds. Me too. I would go out tonight. Yeah, when I was 16, my buddy had a car and I didn't, and he would torture me by playing the full volume on the way to school. He'd scream and cry. He'd say, good luck. Yeah, I'd have done a different, I'd have got a different way to school. Yeah, maybe. Well, I had a far way to go, but no, I just, I couldn't stand it. Oh, cry and I want to die. And you cry and you want to die. Hey, thanks for the call. I appreciate it. No problem. All right, we're going to leave that be. Why? Well, I don't know that it's really, you know. Sienna's silent. Yeah, Sienna's looking at me right now like I'm a space alien.
But I just don't know any of these bands or what you're talking about. Come over. Come over. The Charger girls are here. And they actually have one. Much more important. They have one. They have one. Dork chill band. Tell me your names. First of all, tell me your names. Hi, I'm Emma. Emma and Giselle. Okay. Got to write it down or I'll forget. Just go Angel 1, Angel 2. Number 1 and number 2. Giselle and Emma? Yes. Emma. Emma. Yeah, he does that from time to time. I'm just saying. He's way creepy. Giselle is like flabbergasted. What? Yeah, okay. He's way creepy. We're going to talk to you guys about why you're here. But, Emma. Yes. Yours was what? Murder on the Dance Fall. By? I can't remember her name. What's her name? Was it not Kylie Minogue? No, it wasn't Kylie Minogue. It was a British singer. Are you British? It was a full-on British singer. She's Australian. Murder on the dance floor. You're Australian? Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. I just left my body. I just left my body. Can you sing Olivia Newton-John from Mikey? Oh, my goodness. Okay. I'm just going to be observant. I'm just going to be observant. Describe the girls.
They're gorgeous. One is blonde. Scale of one to ten. Brunette. Twelve, fifteens. Twelve, fifteens, yeah. They're beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. And they work for the Chargers. They're Charger girls. Charger girls. I'm stammering. It's okay. Are you guys single? Emma is blonde, and she is from Australia. She has a wedding band on. She's got a wedding band. Oh, my gosh. That's big. That's big. That's huge. It's fake. It's fake. It's to ward off creepers like Jay. It's a gorgeous ring, and it's real. Just Jay. It's not working. I'm suddenly jealous. I bet you're... Suddenly, that's when they walked in. I bet you're married to a guy that looks like Brad Pitt. Only taller and better looking. Bradley Cooper. He's going to love you for saying that. He's probably listening right now. He's a lucky guy. What's he look like? What does he look like? He's really sweet. How do I describe him? That's how my wife... That's what my wife says when people say, what does he look like? He has a great body. My wife goes, like this? Better than that? I love it. When people ask my wife what I look like, she goes, he's very sweet. He's very loving. He's loving. He's kind. He's kind. He takes good care of me. Very good care of me.
A lot in common. We both like water. We both drink water. He has nice eyes. He's got nice eyes. Nice eyes. Nice eyes. They're brown. They're very brown. Great skin. Yeah, great skin. And yeah. So funny. Sense of humor. A vitality about him. Vitality. There's a vitality about it. Well, actually, he rocks a bald head just like you do. He does? Oh, my gosh. There's a chance for us bald. He's probably an Olympic swimmer. That's why. Yeah. She's like, his name is David Beckham. Okay. And Giselle, are you married? I'm not married. You're not married. Wow. Single. Single gals. Now, you're here to tell us about what the tryouts are going on, right? Yes. So we have tryouts this Sunday. Yeah. April 3rd at USD at the Jenny Crick Pavilion. Okay, now. My favorite pavilion. That's right. Jenny Crick. That's right. Now. Yours is the Krispy Kreme Pavilion. Oh, boy. Yours is the Propecia Pavilion. Oh, boy. All right. All right. They'll do this. Be friends. They'll do this. Sorry, ladies. Be friends. The Charger girls are here. They will do this. Don't embarrass me in front of these girls. I know. Please. You do that well enough. Okay. I'm so sorry, girls. Giselle.
Can you tell us, what are the requirements for the girls? Do they have to be a certain age and all that stuff? Well, they have to be 18. Yeah. And then just be able to dance, obviously. We're performing in front of 70,000 fans at each game. And then we also have to be well-rounded. We have to be able to speak and do media appearances, obviously. Right. Promotional appearances, be out in the community. So they're really looking for a well-rounded candidate. How long have you been a Charger girl? Three seasons now. Three seasons. It's awesome. And, Emma, how long have you been a Charger girl? Well, last year was my rookie season. Really? Yeah. So no more hazing for you. You get to do the hazing. There was no hazing. And, by the way, I just discovered what that was. Wait, wait, wait. You've got to talk right into that thing. Sorry. There you go. You just found out what hazing was. Yes, I didn't know what hazing was until last year, but they don't do any of that on the team. We're very encouraging. I know these are going to be ridiculous questions, but you get it all the time because you're from Australia. Did you like Vegemite? I love Vegemite. I always make my family bring it over when they visit. How old is a child when they start to have Vegemite? Oh, pretty much in the womb. Really? So you're eating it, I mean, a little kid. What is Vegemite? Vegemite is a very popular Australian thing. Now, if I understand correctly, it comes in what looks like a peanut butter jar. Yes. And it's got the consistency of peanut butter? No, it's really, it's like a really thick, dense.
Consistency. It sounds disgusting, but it's really good. And they put it on crackers? Very salty. You put it on crackers? You put it on crackers with butter. Or you can put it on toast. I love it on toast. Okay. Now, it's because Americans, if you don't grow up with it, Americans say... It's nasty. I made a friend. It's an acquired taste. Laugh it on like it's peanut butter. It's not sweet. You're supposed to do a thin layer, right? I, at my old job, took it and did a chunk. We gave this guy 50 bucks, eat a Vegemite sandwich, and it was an inch thick of Vegemite. It's got to be. He threw up. Oh, wow. So you're just supposed to put a thin layer of it and then a little bit of butter over that? I would put the butter on first, then Vegemite. Then the Vegemite. Just a thin layer. Wow. Can I ask you as well? I lived in Australia. No big deal. I just wanted to ask you if you like Tim Tams. Oh, Tim Tams. Oh my gosh, I love Tim Tams. And I just discovered they have Tim Tams in America. They're like the penguins that I brought in. But they're not called Tim Tams, they're called something else.
They're really good. They're cookies. Yeah, it's a cookie. It's like a chocolate cookie. And you do a Tim Tam slam. So you bite off a corner of the cookie because it's a rectangle. You bite off one corner and then the opposite corner and then you suck it through your coffee. And it's the best thing ever because it melts. Yeah, I did that. It's just amazing. You have to try it. Okay, so now let me ask you, Giselle, because Emma's married. You're a single lady. And, well, you've got a boyfriend. You're not married. Not married. You're not married. What's this clown waiting on? Hang on a second. How long have you, yeah, how long have you guys been dating? A year. That's less than a year. Take a guess. Seven months. Two years. Three years. Three years. Yes, that's fascinating. Four years? Five years. Four. Five. What does your dad say? Six years? Six years, yeah. What does your dad say? Oh, my dad loves them. He does? Yeah. They're not ready yet. If I were you, I'd be like, you marry that girl. Maybe pull the trigger. It's gorgeous. This is Chargers cheerleader. Maybe pull the trigger, pal. Woods always says when pretty girls aren't in front of him, hey, if he's not ready, he's not ready. You girls just pull the trigger. I'm on her side. How long did you date your wife before you guys got married? Seven years.
But I was an idiot. I was an idiot. Going back, I would have done it a lot earlier. Giselle, you're not ready either, right? You guys just aren't ready. You're not ready. We're just taking our time. Taking your time. Emma, how long were you dating before you got married? Seven months. Seven months? Wow! She's the opposite, yeah. Is he American? I'm opposite. He is. So because you got married, did you leave your family? I need to know this. No, we just hit it off. We actually met in China. I was on tour with a band and he was there. Wait, wait. You were on tour with a band? Like a dancer? You were like a dancer for the band. A singer. A singer? Yeah. Is he Australian? No, he's American. Who? What's that? The person you toured with. Oh, yeah. It was a cover band. Oh, a cover band. Okay. I'm a guitar player, by the way. Oh, my gosh. I play guitar. Now, Emma, that's kind of how this happens. You were dancing in Australia probably since you were a kid. Yes. And then you had the opportunity to travel. Yes. And then you went to China and you met your husband. Pretty much. He was American. Dated for seven months. Then he pulled out that fabulous ring. So pretty. Good guy. That was a nice ring. Winter time. Jay. What? I don't know.
They got married. I thought it was appropriate. I know, but no, no, no. Hey, you want to have them back? So he doesn't get it. They're very serious. Chargers are very serious. So, okay. So then you come here, you get married in America or Australia? In America, in Coronado. Really? Did your family come out? Yes, my parents flew out. Oh, wow. What is she doing, please? Wow, with a week's notice, she said. A week's notice. Week's notice. And I have to say something, because this is really quite funny that they asked me to do this promotion, because I actually heard about the auditions through the radio last year. My husband heard it on the way, coming home from work. Really? He came home and told me, he said, hey, this is perfect for you. You should go and audition for the Chargers. It's going to be great. So I looked it up online and, you know, checked it all out. And now here I am, a Charger. Crazy, isn't that? So he's an M1. He's an M1. That's awesome. Yeah, it's really cool. That's so cool. All right, so let's get back to that cheerleading, or to the dancing. This weekend, right? This weekend. This weekend, this Sunday. At the Jenny Craig Pavilion. In USC. We could have a listener right now that's just like Emma. Or we could have a guy that's listening right now goes home and says to your girlfriend or wife, this is perfect for you.
And you could be in here next year telling us this story. Exactly. Or we could have a member of the show say, I could never do that. Correct. Yes. Meaning that you, L-O-B, would say. I cannot dance. You cannot dance. I cannot either. But good luck to those girls out there that can't. Giselle, how long have you been dancing? Since I was three years old. Are you serious? And then did your parents get you right into the dance stuff like from a young age? Right away. Really? Yeah. That's always the thing. They got to get going like little. I went to the auditions like three years ago and interviewed the girls trying out for like a radio thing. And it is. fierce. These girls, so many girls show up. There's about 400 that show up. Yeah, they're competitive. When I got there, there was a line out the building so long. You want me to go down? I'll go. I'll get audio. I'll get some video and pictures. It's great audio. I'll just go. It won't be a big deal. I'll just go down. It's free. It's at USD, right? It's kind of a sports thing. 9 o'clock, be there.
How long does it last? It depends. It depends. Usually about until five or so. So plan for all day. Everyone gets a number. I want to talk to you, Giselle, about when you first tried out. Oh, gosh, yes. So how long did you wait until you were seen? Until you got to dance? I would say maybe a couple of hours. Okay, so then how nervous are you? When you're standing there. And what do they do? They say, hey, we're going to do. Do they teach you something real quick? So they teach us a routine, a short routine. And then we have to perform it. We stand in one long line and perform it in front of in front of judges and groups of three or four. And you have to memorize what they teach you. Exactly. And perform it like you've been doing it forever. You have to own it. I would be dead on arrival. One of the things, too, which is why I went and interviewed them, is I asked the girls trying out how much they knew about the Chargers. And I said, what position does LaDainian Tomlinson play? And no one knew anything. And isn't that part of the requirement? It's very important. They said that the girls need to know that stuff. So if you make it into the finals, you will be doing interviews. You have to know all that stuff. Wow. Yeah, because when I was asking girls, they were like,
I don't know. I don't know. And other girls were like, you need to know. You need to know this. It was like a big stir in the line. What kind of. I was like, yes. And any question that I ask that is not, you could just say pass if you don't want to. Can you tell us like what line of work you're in? You know, because outside of being a charger girl, what do you do? I'm a financial analyst in the defense industry. Incredible. So you're not pretty or smart. That's what you call the whole package. What's going on with this man? That's what you call the whole package. What are you waiting for, pal? Stop leaving me alone. I know, but I'm sorry. Six years, she's gorgeous, a charger girl, and she's... Financial analyst. A financial analyst. They're not ready yet. Okay, okay, okay. Hey, if you're not ready, you get ready. Can I ask Giselle a question? Have you ever done pageants? I have not. Never. Oh, okay. You're very poised. She's beautiful. Thank you. But I didn't know if that was a big thing in Australia or not. Well, no. Giselle's from here, right? I know. That's why I said they're both very poised, but I didn't think that Emma would have been in... You didn't ask her. I didn't ask Emma because it's not big in Australia. They don't do that in Australia, right? Not that I know of. They do other things that are similar, but I think pageants are kind of bigger over here. Yeah, exactly. So, Emma, how about you? When did you start dancing? I was 11.
11 years old. Like four years ago then. Are you guys allowed to say your age or no? They probably don't want to. Why don't you just ask them how much they weigh too, Mike? But you know they're young. Don't ask them. You know they're really young. Well, you know that we're at least 18. That's all you need to know. You know that they're really young. So how much do you guys weigh? It wasn't like that. Okay. So the Charger girls this weekend, they're looking for new Charger girls. The tryouts are this weekend. It's at the Jenny Craig Pavilion. And what time again? Nine o'clock. Nine o'clock. Be there. Get there early. Those lines are long. And don't complain about how much longer it's going to be, right? Exactly. And what should they wear? Well, you can do either a two-piece or one-piece leotard with nylons. Yeah. And jazz shoes or dance shoes. That's awesome. Yeah, bring a couple of pairs of shoes sometimes, you know, depending on how it sticks on the floor. Sometimes it's good to have a couple of shoes. Be prepared. So they bring snacks, water, stuff like that. Bring snacks, lots of water. You're going to be there pretty much all day. How soon do you know? Like, what do they say? Hey, do they tell you right away you made it into a second group or do they call you? At the end of the day, you'll know if you're a finalist. And they usually take about 60 to 70 finalists. And then it goes from there to whittle it down. Like, how many whittle downs are there?
Just, well, just one. Just one whittle down. Well, actually two. There's two on Sunday. Yeah. And then you'll be down to about 70 candidates who will move on to finals next week. Wow. For interviews and a dance final on Thursday. Did they put like a list on the wall with your number on it? No, they call it out. Oh, my God. So you have to make sure you're listening. You think there's a bunch of girls crying at that point? Oh, my God. Hopefully more smiles. Yeah. Screams of joy. Well, thank you, ladies. Thank you for having us. Thanks for coming in. It's always fun to have you guys in. Giselle and Emma from the Charger Girls. There was a letter that was just found in a bottle after floating in the ocean for 24 years. Nice. And we'll tell you what it said next. She was telling us a story about her dad when her dad went to Australia because the Charger Girl that just came in was Australia. LLB goes, hey. She goes, you know, my dad would be buying drinks for people. And the other guys would look at my dad and they'd go, will you knock it off? You're making us look bad. You're making us look bad. She goes, that's the worst Australian accent I've ever heard. It's so hard to get. Knock it off. This is the worst Australian accent ever. All I know is when they say no, it sounds like nar. Nar. Nar. Yeah. Nar. My dad went to Australia. He got to do a little R&R, you know. Oh, my God. For Vietnam.
Yeah, from Vietnam. Yeah, you know, where do they talk like this in Vietnam? Hello, welcome to Vietnam. Hello, welcome to Vietnam. Good morning, Vietnam. Welcome to Shanghai. We're going to sail down the Do Long River. So he started buying drinks. Don't you know. And eventually people started to say, oh, you're making us look bad there, aren't you? Quit buying all those rounds for everyone. You've got to stop it. It wasn't that bad. You guys would have let me get away with it if I didn't go, that was the worst Australian accent I've ever heard. Yes, but I was just thinking in my head, how freaking great is L.O.B. that she can do a voice and try to do a voice and be like, that was terrible. That was terrible. That was the worst. That was the worst. And I've lived in Australia. I know. Wow. Can you do one, though? I could if I'm around it for a while. They told me not to. I would go on auditions there, and they're like, yeah, don't do that. I wanted to be in commercials there, so I'd be like, hey, how you doing? Yeah.
What's the problem? This is a great Australian accent. Hey, my name's Lauren for Vegemite. Haven't you ever been to Sydney? Good morning. They're like, listen, lass. Oh, boy. Oh, man, that just slayed me. How great was it? It was so weird. They wanted to take pictures with us because they were fans. which always flips me out because we wanted to take pictures with him. And the one girl's like, oh my gosh, my husband. My husband's the biggest fan in the entire world. He's such an immune. Will you take a photo? A photo? Oh boy. I've never felt more schlumpy in my life. I know. We won't let the pictures of us and the pictures get posted on Facebook. That is sad. Why? They're gorgeous. You want to take pictures of Brad Pitt? I would. Absolutely. I'd take pictures all day long. I looked at me in that picture with them, and I went, I could totally see this picture of me being like, hi, I'm Mikey for Subway. This was me two years ago.
Or, hello, I'm Mikey for Nutrisystem. This was me two years ago with the Charger girls. But look at me now. And I'm holding the pants I'm wearing right now. And two Charger girls are inside of your pants. The same girls are standing inside my pants. And they're still like three feet in a room. The entire Charger team. Yeah. They're just all shrugging their shoulders, smiling. We fit. We don't know how. He did it. Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. Good morning. Hey. Good morning down under. Top of the morning. The toughest thing about Australian is how close it is to British. Exactly. Yes, it's actually close to British. When I try to do Australian. It only sounds British and it makes me mental. Let me give you the key to doing Australian. If you start it with g'day, mate, you're fine. If you start there, it'll click. G'day, mate. Now you can do it. Feast on this. Let me try. G'day, mate. Where are the Tums? Not bad. It was better than my Irish. You've got to start with g'day, mate. If you could do the...
Then you'll slip into it. That's not true. You guys are good at voices. Try it, Sienna. Sienna, try it. Say goodnight, Mike. Try it. If you do that, then you'll slip into it. G'day, Mike. G'day, Mike. Let's get another shrimp on the bar, babe. No, it's not bad. Not bad. Better or worse? Ella Beast was worse the first time. Oh, yeah. Way worse. Let's see. Oh, that's funny. Those voices are tough to do. My family's from there, and I am always... Nar. That's all I say. Nar. Does nar mean something? No. No, it means no. They sound like nar, though. Nar. Nar. Nar. Nar. I like to hear people with British accents and stuff do an American accent because it's always so nasal. This is what Americans sound like. Let me tell you. They found this actress that must have had the weirdest talent. in the world for the TV show or the miniseries The Pacific because in The Pacific, it's World War II, they go on R&R to Australia. And this dude, this American guy in the miniseries, meets a girl in Australia who's been living in Australia but is originally from Greece. So she had to have an accent that was Australian but...
From Greece. Oh, man. And, like, she did it. But it was like, holy cow. How did they find somebody that, I mean, they must have had to find a real Australian actress that was from Greece. Right. Because how do you do that? Right. It's like, that's the hardest thing to do. Imitate this person imitating this. Imitate Jay imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger. Right, right. Easy. Do it. I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back. I will return. I'll be back. I'll be back. Here, I got it. There you go. I got it. I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back. Oh, I told I'll be back. All right, I'm going to play this for you. This is a real thing. The girls will probably know it better than the guys, but Greg Kinnear. was teaching Conan O'Brien about it last night. I've heard him explain how to do it. I still can't do it. My seven-year-old right now, I'm trying to teach her how to speak gibberish so that she can talk... You've heard it. I've heard it. ...talk in front of her teachers or other friends that don't know how to speak gibberish, and those teachers or those kids won't know what she's saying. Oh, so it's like a little code. Get stuff past the teacher. What does this sound like? Gibberish is...
People are not going to know what I'm talking about. Yeah, they are. Because I know people that can do it. Yep. I cannot do it. I can't either. And he teaches us on this clip. He teaches you how to do it. I'm going to try. And even after he's taught you, I still don't get it. Somebody call us, by the way, if they can do it. It'll probably be a girl. Girls are good at it. Girls are really good at it. Does anybody speak gibberish? Anybody? See, girls. You've got the whole crowd of gibberish speakers. And you've been doing this show in English all these years. Clearly, I screwed up. No, you take a word. You take, like, the word dog. And I learned it in high school because a bunch of my friends, we kind of, that's kind of what a nerd I was. But we learned it. And then, of course, after we graduated, we learned that all the people we thought we were protecting this language from actually spoke it, too. But if you take, like, the word dog, you break it in two at the vowel and the consonant. Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog Duh the gog
I've had people call in that can do it, and we'll get like two people on the phone. They'll talk. Let's do it now. Let's do it. I want to hear this. Let's try to get a couple of people that can do it and have them talk to each other, and then we'll ask, hey, what did you say? What did that person just say? This is M1 Camille. Is it Camille from Lemon Grove? Yes, it is. Okay, so you could speak gibberish, right? Yes, I can. I was taught when I was five to talk in front of my dad so he wouldn't know what I was saying. Okay, cool. And then we got M1 Lizzie from Carlsbad. You there, Lizzie? I the guy, I the guy. Okay, cool. Wow. How do you say Mike real quick? Is it mid-a-gike? Mid-a-gike. Mid-a-gike. Okay. Okay. I got it. Okay. Lizzie and Camille, can you guys have a conversation about today is opening day for the Padres? Chiziger. Chiziger cat again. Camille, you start. Go Padres. Oh, my God. Isn't that crazy? I can understand it more than I can. I can't speak it. I heard Padres, but that's it. She said yes, today is over.
Opening day for the Padres, and then she said, go Padres. Okay, now I want you guys to have a conversation about something, and Lizzie, I'm going to have you start. Now I want you guys to have a conversation about something that I don't give you the topic. You just go for it, and go for a little bit, and then we'll see if we can pick anything up. Go ahead, Lizzie. Okay, stop. Now, did you both understand one another? And what did Camille say, Lizzie? form of gibberish than I am. I heard her say that, but you can't understand me. Only thing I heard was beach. I heard beach. Crazy. Crazy. What I'm talking is more called double talk. Like Spanglish gibberish, because it's Lizzie. Wait a minute. Camille, do you speak the more common form of gibberish?
I know two different forms, one that I was taught when I was younger and one that's easier to speak that I was taught when I was older. One is more of a TH sound in the middle of the word, but the other one is with a D that you can talk much faster. Okay, hang on just a second. Now we've got M1 Lynn from San Diego. Are you there, Lynn? I'm here. Now, which version do you do? The guys for the geek or the guys for the gift. Okay, now Lizzie and Camille, Lizzie or Camille, which one of you understood that better? She said I speak like this. I understood that one. Okay, so Camille, you're the one that speaks that one, right? Yeah, I speak that one. Well, I mean, they're all the same. They just sound a little different. Got it. Okay, Lizzie, I'm going to let you go, and I'm going to have these two try this out, okay? Thanks, Lizzie. Thank you, Lizzie. Thank you, Lizzie. Okay, Camille and Lynn have a conversation about something we don't know about, and I'm going to have Lynn start. Go ahead, Lynn. Okay, stop. Lynn, do you know what Camille said? Wow. And Camille, did you understand what Lynn said?
Yes, I did. She didn't catch everything I said, but she said what she was doing today and asked me what I was doing. And I said, I'm on my way home from school and I'm going to go shop for her baby shower. That is so crazy. So crazy. So crazy. So crazy. That's a gift. I'm going to give you guys both some kind of prize. Hang on the line, okay? Alrighty, thanks. Hang on. It's incredible. I wish we could get my mom on the phone. Her and her sister made up ab talk. And it's similar, but they put ab in it. Yeah. And they were a year and a half apart. And they all growing up. Hey, Mikey and Woods, you wouldn't know anything about ab talk. Yeah, y'all know nothing. If it was fat talk. Yeah. I know ab talk because I've developed mine. My brother and his friends developed the Ong language. I don't think they developed it, but they perfected the Ong. How does it work? So your name. Mike, M-I-K-E. Yep. After the consonant, which is anything that's not A-E-I-O-U, you do Ong. So your name is Mong-I-Kong-E. You say the vowel. It's really easy. So your name would be Long-A-U-Rong-E-Nong. Does that make sense? No. I get it. You say Ong after the consonant. I get it, but my brain doesn't work. Song-E. Song-E.
N-N-N-A. Song-I-E-N-N-A. N-N-N-A. What? How do you follow that? Isolate. You can do it. Do the. Tong-E. Tong-E. Tong-Hong-E. Tong-Hong-E. Tong-Hong-E. Tong-Hong-E. Okay, Tong-Hong-E I can do. Right. You have Taylor on your shirt. Tong-E-Yong-Long-O-Rong. You guys got it. But you have to, I think it's so slow. You can follow it. Yeah, it's hard because you have to go, consonant or vowel, consonant or vowel, consonant or vowel. One, O, O, dong, S. Song. Yes, there it is. Song. Easy, easy. The family show. Yeah. Judge Judy. Hospitalized. Oh, no. Want to know how to get your marriage back on track? Youngie song. Okay. I'll tell you. I get a channel called the Palladium Channel. It's high-definition rock concerts. I don't have it, and I want it. It's great. Yeah. They had Linkin Park and High Def. They're actually really good live, man. I took our friend Bark Malman to see them, and he couldn't have been more out on the whole thing.
And then once he saw him, he goes, yep, I'm in. Really? Yep. Kind of cool. Doesn't happen, you know, where somebody is like, but a lot of times when you see somebody live, it changes everything. Absolutely. I was really into the band Red, and then I was already into them, and saw them live, and was like, forget it. I always loved Chris Cornell, and then saw him at House of Blues in Dallas, and went home and downloaded everything he's ever done. Really? Yeah. That night. Mm-hmm. He's good. He is good. Sienna, why was Judge Judy hospitalized? She was hospitalized. She was actually rushed to an L.A. hospital yesterday after complaining of intestinal discomfort. Her rep has confirmed the hospitalization and said that she was kept overnight for tests. I didn't play that. Whoa. Is there a puppy? Is there a tiny Tim in there? Yeah. I play Tim. Timmy Cricket. Oops. Sienna's got 10 ways to get your marriage back on track. Yes, one of them is nurture yourself. It says to have a good marriage, you need to be good to you. Learn how to prioritize and put boundaries around activities that you need to keep healthy and whole, like rest, relaxation, fitness, time with friends. This is all about me, you know.
Make me right. Treat yourself. Treat me. Be good to you. You got to. Sienna, why did you make this list up? Sienna, this list is amazing. I understand it because you can't be the best person you can be. You know what? Just have to be you time. No, you do have to be a good person in order to give back that way. You don't have you time, Mike. Why don't we presuppose that you're treating yourself? Like that you're not hammering yourself over the head with an anvil. Just love yourself. Why don't we start there? Love yourself. It's very hard for some people to love themselves. Myself included. Okay. Define your problems. Spend some time looking. It's all about me. Just look at me. Your problems as a relationship. There's no you in marriage. You got to fix yourself before you can fix something else. No, this is as a relationship. Define your problems in the relationship. I need to make me happy before I can make you happy. Sounds about right. No, it says look at your relationship and figure out which parts.
parts work the best and which ones don't. Take a moment and imagine a perfect day in a perfect relationship and how you would spend it and what you would say to each other and, you know, imagine what you want and talk about it. All right. Let's see if I, so far, not a fan of either one. I want to see if I, maybe I'll start to get, maybe I'll start to get on board with this. I have heard the, exactly what Mikey said. I need to make, yeah, and I never dated that guy again. Yeah, don't. I was waiting, no, I was waiting around. and he just couldn't get happy. Okay, I understand if he uses that against you, but... In your life, you have to have time for yourself. Agreed. Like, you have to. Like, if I go to the gym or Mikey, laptop naked for an hour. Yeah. An hour. Would you go to McDonald's? I'm just saying. Not a whole hour. I don't get a whole hour. I don't have a whole hour for that. If you don't get that time a couple times a week, you'll lose it. Yeah, just a couple times a week. You need some time to do what you like to do. Jay, would you stop it? Stop.
It's not us. It said it in the deal. You need to nurture yourself. You guys are perverts. Okay. I'm doing 10 ways, a list that I did not come up with. You made this list. 10 ways to get your marriage back on track. Make a financial plan together. Mikey, you have an allowance, so you have to be on board with this. Yeah, we have a whole financial plan. We're trying to become, you know, financially, what do they call it? Independent. Yeah, well, we don't have any debt. Debt free. Try and become debt free. Happy birthday. It says, use this. Happy birthday. Yeah. What does that mean? That means I'm jealous. But you could do it too. Could I? Yeah. It's so hard to do. Dude, you could do it. I know. It's hard to do. It sucks. You got to dive in. It sucks. But when you're getting close to it, you know, you're just like. You can see it. You can see it. My deal, when I say happy birthday, it's pure envy because I feel like I'm in a sinkhole. We started this. We started this in 2007. Yeah, still working. We started in 2007. We're going at it. But I mean, dude, it works. The plan works. It works. And what's so great about it is it snowballs. Yeah. So you pay something off and then you take the money that you would make that payment on and then you put it towards something else. Right. So you're paying the whole payment that you'd be. I take this pen and I owe $50 on this pen and I owe $150 on this pen. I pay this one off.
Now I add $50 to this payment. Plus the quicker you do it, the less interest you're going to pay. So overall, you're going to pay less. It snowballs and it starts going real fast. The way that I do it is this. I get my check and I got my stack of bills and I just pay my bills immediately. I don't wait. I don't have credit card debt, but it feels like I never have anything. extra to save you know what i mean you have to sit down and map things out it doesn't just fall into your bank account yeah that's so i'm just like i'm like this i pay all the bills and then i'm like all right i'm done i clean the slate every month usually a clean slate there may be a little overlap here there but never where i'm like oh yeah we saved five grand you know what i mean it's just you can set up an auto like withdrawal from your checking into your savings and that can just be a bill that you expect to have every month and really you're paying yourself. I wish I could do that but I see that savings account on there and I'm like I need some money. I'll just transfer it. What else? Another way to get your marriage back on track is it says
Use the three sentence rule. Now, what the example they're giving is, they said, when you need to ask your partner for something that could be misconstrued as nagging, keep the request at three sentences max. Now, the tone matters. You want to have a warm tone, body language welcoming. And it says that if you keep your request to three sentences or fewer, it's almost impossible to blame. Do they give an example? Because I need it. Honey. The house is a mess and I'm exhausted. Could you help me clean this place up? I could really use your help. Oh, I'm infuriated immediately. Absolutely. I'm infuriated. If I'm smiling and I'm like, and you're sincere and encouraging, it says, okay, I'm like, you're my husband. Honey, the house is a mess. I'm so exhausted. Do you think you could help me clean this place? I could really use your help. I'm fine with that. Here's me in response. Really? I'm not exhausted? I'm exhausted. Can't we just wait? I'm asking you. I know you're asking me, but you're kind of like me and my mom. I don't really want to help right now. I'm tired. I'm trying to shut the mother down. Not me. You do it with me. Same way. Okay. Honey, the house is such a mess. I'm so exhausted. You think you could help me clean this place? I could really use your help.
I'm in love. Yes. What do you want me to do? Oh, totally. When she does it like that. When she does it like that. Let me see it. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Now, you could also do it like this. You could also do it like this. Honey, the house is a mess and I'm exhausted. Could you help me clean this place up? I could really use the help. Yeah, but your wife never talks like that. No. And she still has to probably fight you tooth and nail to get help. Agreed. She knows that the best way to get me to do it is to write it, not to say it. You don't see that note and just deflate? Yeah, but that's, you know, for me that's better to deflate through a note than to deflate in front of her. Does it help to have a smiley face on the note? No. You know why? It's phony baloney. That's phony. You're not smiling. You know, because you know me and you know how I'm going to be. So you don't think that there's anything cute about your request. But when I need help doing something and I know I'm putting somebody kind of out and it's a pain in the butt request, I'll get kind of sheepish and be like, will you help me? I feel manipulated. I do too. That feels manipulated. It's manipulative. Manipulative. I don't want to write a note because I need to be there to defend myself.
If I'm like, please do the dishes. Love you, smiley face. I'm going to know he's going to be like, oh, why didn't she do the dishes? That was a jerk last night. Rebecca said, right as I was going to bed, I go, this is the way that I say goodnight. I love you, babe. When I say that, that's how I say goodnight. And then we give each other a kiss, and I go up. And it's still sunlight out. Looks like 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Oh, that's the worst. So I go, I love you, babe. And she goes, I love you, hon. She goes, um. Can you do me a big favor before you go to bed? And I go, what? What? Jerk. What? I don't know what you do. Your hearty? A little bit of a hearty? A little bit of a hearty. That is the worst, though, right? As you're set and you're already making a way. Were you walking away? No, I was walking to her to kiss her. Okay. You know, goodnight. So she gets you dead on? And she goes, hey, before you go to bed, can you do me a big favor? What if the favor was, give me a kiss? That wasn't the fit. I mean, we know that's not our dynamic. She's not going to say, can I, yeah, can you, and that would be a jerk move, by the way. Yesterday, Sklenar calls me, our sales guy, big sales guy, obviously doesn't know how I operate or how my mind works. Calls me, I go, hello. He goes, hey, buddy, bad news. I go, what's going on? He goes, that thing we were working on completely fell through. And my heart hit my stomach. Almost vomited. But I don't, you know me. I go, what happened?
He goes, ah, just seeing if you're alert. Seeing if you're awake. Oh, dude. And now, not only are you alert, but you're spun out. Completely spun. To no end. You can't get back from it. Mikey is an exception. And you need to know who you're working with when dealing with Mikey. Mikey is an exception. I'll try to coup de time, too, and it doesn't work. And you're like, oh, boy, I just ruined him. I broke you. I broke you. Listen, I will be completely honest with you. This happened when all the junk went down in December. Like, I can't be coup d'etat anymore. Right. Because it's not, you know, maybe in five years you can coup d'etat me. Really? Yeah, because before that. Look forward to that. Write it down. 2015. Ten years. Seriously, man. I'm telling you, dude. I might not be alive. You don't have a sense of humor for it anymore. No. I have zero sense of humor for coup d'etat. I tried to get you with Heath Bell. It didn't go over. No. Oh, man. That one. Oh, gosh darn. That spun me. What did Rebecca ask you? I'm dying to know. It was simple. And you were a jerk? Why? Oh, well, because I didn't know what it was yet. What? And I thought she was going to... You know what I thought it was going to be?
I thought it was going to be something like, this is one of my chores. By the way, I have a list of all the chores that men hate. One of my chores is that on our stairwell, we have these little lights that are on the stairwell. And they burn out. And they burn out pretty frequently. And I'm the one that replaces them. And it's kind of a beating. But in addition to being a beating, it's also disgusting. Because bugs are attracted to the light. And they die. And so every time I do it, my fingers scrape up against the graveyard. You know? Ever done that before, Mike? Where you start a song? Right in the middle? Right in the middle of it. And so did you change the lights? That wasn't what she wanted. Oh, it wasn't? You don't remember? Oh, I remember. Yeah, she wanted me to...
She wanted me to... Change the diaper. No, no. It wasn't even anything. You know why I was fine with it? It's nothing physical. I had to find a Word document, copy and paste it, and email it to her. Which, you kidding? Do that all day long. We're going to be doing that anyway when you got up the stairs. Of course. Copy and paste it anyway. That's red. This new album, I can't get enough of this album. They're coming to Anaheim, pal. What? They're coming to Anaheim. What? It's on our Facebook. They're coming to Anaheim. Is it on a weekday or a weekend? I'll check it out for you. I'm taking a day off. I'm sorry. I know, I know, I know, I know. We didn't talk about the message in the bottle, right? No. What's the deal? This is a really cool story. There was a bottle found along the Baltic Sea after 24 years.
24 years later, what happened was there was a 13-year-old Russian boy named Daniil. He was walking with his parents on the beach, and he saw something glittery in the sand. He went and grabbed it. It looked like a German beer bottle with a ceramic plug, and there was a message inside. So he grabbed it, and luckily his father, who he was with, knows some German. He was able to translate the letter, and it said, My name is Frank. I'm five years old. My dad and I are traveling on a ship to Denmark. If you find this letter, please write back. to me and I will write back to you and it was dated 1987 and it had an address of a town in Coesfeld which is where they lived and this boy Daniil the 13 year old Russian boy who found this bottle contacted or sent a letter to the address and it was the address Still there of the little boy's parents that still lived in the same house. He was able to contact the little boy that wrote the letter. He barely remembers even doing it because he's 29 now. He was five at the time. But just a cool story that they don't believe that the bottle was actually in the ocean for 24 years. They think that it would never have survived in the water all that time. They think it was hidden under the sand and it came up after all those years. Hello. Hello. Hello is this.
Hello, who is this? My name is Trevkov. Who is this? My name is Daniil. Great. What can I do for you? What can I do for you? You called me. I pick a phone. The phone ring. I pick it up. Are you calling about the message in the bottle? What are you talking about the message in the bottle? I figure that's the only reason you'd be calling me in that voice. I am Russian. I live here. I am German. I send a message in a bottle. Oh, wait. You're mixing it up. I got a bit wrong. Correct. You're telling me that you... Oh, okay. Wait a minute. I put a note in a bottle of Grohl's years ago. Here, you answer phone. Stupid idiot. What is my... The Russian boy found the bottle. Hello, this is a 13-year-old Russian boy. Daniel. Hello, Margaret. My name is Wolfgang. Hello, Wolfgang. Hello. Did you send a message in battle? Oh boy, so long ago. What did you want to have a relationship or something? Well, I was only five years old. I was with my father. We were sailing to Denmark.
What did you think? We become friends? I hope that a girl finds a bottle and maybe send me some topless picture. You don't sound like you want a girl to find a bottle. Well, I love the females and the males. That is really weird. Would you like me to send you some jeans? If you send me Russian man jeans... I can sell them on street for loaf of bread. I think you can make a lot more than that. I have to break. Yeah. We have to break. Much music madness. Wrap it up. Oh, great. Just cut bits off real good. Yeah, I guess so. Happy birthday. Yeah. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6. Spike shows up.