The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 04/01/10

0:00KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Welcome to the show. It's The Mikey Show, and it is Thursday, April Fool's Day. Yeah, which means that just the fact that I acknowledge that it's April Fool's Day means that nothing's going to be fooled. We ain't going to get you. We're not going to get you. Once he made it very clear, he don't like to be got. I don't like to be got, dude. Right? Grow up, Pete. Yeah, grow up, Peter Pan. It's fun. Is it? I think it's fun. Yeah, how fun was it this morning for you, Lauren? It was fun after the initial heart attack wore off. We'll tell you the story in just a second. What happened with Lauren? Here it is Thursday. It's raining like crazy. Pouring. There's no real cats or dogs coming down. I can tell you that right now. I was out there. Where did that even come from? That's what I was thinking.

3:18Where do the raining cats and dogs come from? It's raining elephants and hippos. It might as well. Might as well be. No cats and dogs coming out of there. Woods would be like, catching all of them. Oh, boy. He'd be catching them and loving them. All of them. You're coming up with me. That's right. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. 39 years of age. And dressed appropriately today because I knew it was going to be a little chilly out. I'll be honest with you. I can't stand the weather. I can't. I can't stand how. Schizophrenic our weather has been lately. It was so nice over the weekend. It's just like, oh, come back. San Diego's going to shut down today, right? Yeah. It's raining. People calling in sick already. Dude, you expect me to come into work? It's pouring rain outside. I'm not coming into work. I know. The roads were a little slippery this morning. Were they? They were. That's what happens. It's not set up for all the runoff that needs to happen. Isn't it? No, it's not. Isn't it? No, it's not. Isn't it?

4:17No. It's not. Welcome. I'm Mikey. I'm the host. Feels like Monday. Can I tell you guys a secret? Yeah. What? You can't tell anybody. I won't tell anyone. I had to, you know, quickly go to the restroom, you know, nothing bad, and run back in here right now. Did you wash your hands? No. Yeah, I did. I did. But the flusher is broken. I know. You too? Not from today. But from last week. Oh, it breaks all the time. It breaks all the time. You have to lift the top off and push the button. It isn't fun. Oh, really? You have to do more than push a button. You've got to reconfigure it. No, I didn't. I just pushed the button and left because it was in the middle of a show. And I had to file papers and I had to make it right. Oh, yeah. You in the middle of a show? Almost vomited. I didn't think it was going to flush. I was like, this is great.

5:13That's monstrous. It was on a Friday when we had people in, too. Oh, wow. We only have, like, three minutes for commercial break to go do our business. I had to make it real right. You fixed it. You MacGyvered it. I pushed the button, and it was fine. Okay, I'll do that. I'll go back in there and do that. Because you left it. Well, I had to come on the radio. I didn't know what to do. Bro, I think that's most important. If it's yellow, let it mellow. It's yellow, let it mellow. It's the nastiest thing I've ever heard. That's a California slogan. I know what it is. I know what it means. To conserve water. It doesn't make it any better. It doesn't. It's the policy in my house. It is not. You are kidding me. Yes, it is. Ryan. In your house now or when you lived with your parents? My house now. Oh, I'm never coming over. You just leave your hearing. You greenie. You are a green gal. Say that. Yes. You can't say that. Cannot say that. What is the score? Four, two, one, one. Really? Yeah. Oh. See, I was catching up with the kid. Mine was in a song, though. Well, still. That's different. No, you still. A dump is a dump is a dump. Really? Yeah. Dump did a dump dump dump. Fine. I'm upset. Well, can't say that one. That one they won't let us get away with. But anyway. Boy, we started early today. Wow. I know. I told you. It feels like a Monday. It does kind of, right? It's the rain.

6:40Excuse me. Feels like February 1st, 2010, our first show. Nothing feels that. Nothing feels that bad. I just burped on the air. What's going on in here? It's rain. Can we shut it down? It's because it's April 4th and we're all freaked out. Maybe that's it. Hit the intro music again. Start over again. You do have, you know what though? I just burped on the air. I just burped on the air. Did you hear it? Yes, I tried to ignore it. I tried not to draw attention to it for four and a half minutes. I didn't mean to. Oh, my gosh. Stupid Dr. Pepper. What's happening? So we have so much show for you. I'm looking at what we got to get out there today. It's a lot. A ton. I have so much stuff. So it's going to take a while. Woodsy and I got fitted for our wetsuits yesterday. I saw the pic on Facebook. You guys look sharp. You guys look like seals. Yeah, if by sharp you mean that I look like the shortest silverback gorilla in captivity. Bird hooked it up in the South Coast. Bird in the South Coast. Good guy. The coolest guy I've ever met. He's so cool. I got his digits. He's like, call me or text me anytime. We'll go surfing. I'm like, done. That's not how he talks. That's how I perceive it. Dude, I seriously.

8:01I told Bird, I go, dude, I thought you were 25 years old. Yeah. Because he does our surf report. He's like, what's up, man? This thing's brought to you by Kayamate. And hey, man, don't take my word for it. Go check the weather for yourself, bro. And I was like, wow, it's so rad. He's the coolest dude, man. He's so cool. He hooked it up. What did he say? He was going to be 56 or something? He's 54, I think. Wow. He is the youngest 54-year-old I've ever seen in my life. When he was talking about surfing, too, dude, he sells you. Like, you're sold. He's like, when I get out in that water, I get goosebumps. I start to cry. I'm like, oh, my God. He goes, I'm getting goosebumps right now. He actually showed us the goosebumps. Talking about surfing, you're like, that's a surfer. Talking about the goosebumps. Yeah. I love it. He goes to Mikey. He goes, you're a God guy. So this is something God gave us. So let's get out there and do it. Let's get out there and make it right. That's right. It was awesome. You're a God guy, right? You're a God guy. That's right. It was great. It was great, man. What a great time we had. Real quickly, let me introduce everybody. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 39, but not for long. Our boy Woodsy is sitting right across from me. He's wearing a black turtleneck today. Or a V-neck. Or V-neck.

9:15Oh, my gosh. That is a huge difference. I know. Yeah. What am I wearing a turtleneck, Michael? Am I German? No. Sprockets. Sprockets. Let's see. Turtleneck. Pepper O'Brien. Pepper O'Brien's a blonde. She's right next to me over here. She's got her hair back in the bun. Today's a bun day. Oh, boy. That means trouble, man. I'm telling you. Watch out. Watch out. Watch out. It's a business day. Yeah, it was a little rushed this morning. In the shower and got a little scare. I'll tell you about it in a second. Rulers across the knuckles is what you could end up with with her today, all right? Sienna is the pregnant woman sitting to my left. Yeah. How about that, ladies and gentlemen? Bravo. I just, I got so many nights. I made the announcement yesterday, in case you didn't hear, that I'm having a little girl. I'm four and a half months right now. I love it. And, I mean, just the most awesome messages from listeners. It's like, oh, just so warm to my heart. Like, it's amazing. I feel so blessed. That's so cool. That kid's going to be well-fed, isn't he? Yeah. We already saw that on Facebook. It's going to be well-fed. I ignored it once. You're a clown head. It's still mine. You put that on Facebook? Yeah. You're a clown. It's still mine. You're a clown. It's still mine. Yeah, but we ignored it the first time. That little girl is going to be well-fed. You are a clown. I got this.

10:40I'm not a creep. You're a clowny creep. It's funny or whatever. Creepy clown. You're Pennywise, the creepy clown. Anyway, Sienna, did you in the... I just looked down at myself like, yep. She'll be well fed, all right. She will. Did you and your husband talk about the name thing anymore yesterday? Yeah, we did. I mentioned on the air that we were thinking about Blake for a boy, but we kind of like it for a girl, too. And no one at his work even knew that we were having a baby. So when he got to work, everyone's like, Blake Farrar. Yeah, that's the raddest name. That is pretty cool. Sounds like Blake. Yeah. It is pretty cool. That's very cool. We'll see. What was the other one we came up with that we really liked? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was one other name we loved. I can't remember it. Was it Ryan? Yeah. That was Ryan. Was it Ryan? Yeah. But you spell him in a girl way. Right. Like it would be R-Y-A-N-N. And I actually got that from a few different listeners as suggestions. That's a really cute name, too. Yeah. It's pretty. You seen that new chick, Ryan Farrar? Yeah. Smoking. Smoking hot. I like the boy names for girls. I do, too. I think it's great. I do, too. I'm in.

11:52And Jay is our producer. And Woodsy and I have the same feeling about Jay. We feel pretty safe around Jay. Man love, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like manly love. Guy takes care of you. You know what I mean? Glad to do it. There's no trouble if Jay's around. I had a splinter in my hand that got infected. I was like, Jay, what do I do with this? Seriously. He gets you where you want to go. Yep. He gets you there in a timely fashion. That's right. Because he drives a bat out of hell. Yes, he does. Once you get there, the guy takes care of you. I guarantee you, I will not serve without Jay until 2011. That's right. Every time I go, he'll be there. That's right. Jay is in the know. Jay's like, great, kill me. He's in the know. Let's hang out with these two clowns. That's right. Show them how to serve. Now, speaking of in the know, I won't put you in the know of what happened to Pepper O'Brien this morning on April Fool's Day. Her boyfriend had a little surprise for her when she woke up. Yes, he did. And now that I think about it, I'm wondering if he set me up starting yesterday. Really? Yeah. What happened was I went to go in the shower this morning. I wake up at 3.30 in the morning. I'm a little out of it. I pull the curtain back. And I see every night I lay out my clothes the night before from everything down to the undergarments. The undergarments. So I came. I pulled the curtain back in my shower. And that's where I also hang my wetsuit up to dry. There's a little hook on the wall there. Right.

13:15And my wetsuit was dressed in the clothes that I had laid out for myself for today. Which is hysterical. And, of course, I forgot it was April Fool's. And I just, like, my... My body left me. All the air left my, all the oxygen left my body. And I thought for sure I was going to turn around and someone with a scream mask was going to be standing there. Oh, that's so great. Because I was like, oh my gosh. And then it hit me and it took like a minute or so for my heart, you know, my heart rate to return. But yesterday he said to me, now that I think about it, yesterday I came home and he said, did you clean the house before you left this morning? I said, no, why? And he's like, I don't know. It was like dishes were cleaned and like the coffee that I spilled was wiped up. It's weird. And I'm like, huh. So I think, I don't know if that was accidental or not. He totally did that on purpose. He's a smart guy. It was planted in my head this morning and I thought like, oh gosh. And you're wearing like jeans and what, I mean, that could be a dude shirt. Yeah. Like it's not like it was some pink tank top that you'd open and be like.

14:23idiot that's my shirt like that could be a dude you know what I mean no no I think like when you open it that's why you were super scared too you're like whoa that could be like a real you know what I mean oh yeah maybe that's what he was going for oh I'm sure he must have thought that I was going to think that was a person of course yeah that's exactly what he wanted that's not what I thought what did you think I thought some creep was in the house and was playing a trick on me. Trying to wear your skin? Like, oh my gosh, why are my clothes dressed onto my wetsuit right now? No, he was dressing it as a person. Of course he thought it would be a person, so you'd open it and be like... I thought it was a recycler here. I don't know. Someone wanted to dress your wetsuit. Yeah, I thought it was some creepy wetsuit pervert. Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. I was like, why are my pink panties? Wetsuit pervert. Yeah, that's what I thought. That's what I thought. And so I had to go. You know those guys that have wetsuit fetishes? Yeah. I slept in mine last night by no one. You did? Yeah. Yeah, good. Stayed nice and warm? Yeah, nice and warm. Oh, that's what you, okay. Yeah. That's what he was going for. He was dressing up as a dude, I bet. Okay. Have him call in later. We'll talk to him. Yeah. I think it's brilliant. Yeah. So to get back at him, she put a butcher knife through it.

15:34threw a banana and stuck it on the kitchen counter. You guys can read into that. You can read into that whatever you'd like. Prepped up on some avocados. Paint the visual. Well, now you don't have to read into it, do you? Now I think it's pretty crystal clear. He knows what's coming to him. He's a dead man. That's right. 570-1949 is our number. 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to text us. You can call us about anything you want. And it is raining. So everybody quit freaking out. Quit freaking out. Just take the day off. Stay home. Listen to the Mikey show. Then listen to Hillary. Then listen to Tommy. You'll be good to go. For real. Cuddle up. Cuddle up. People get really freaked out. Put on 94.9. Make it right. Yeah. I hope I didn't freak JR out when I was walking by JR. Yeah, he was looking for you. I did like a swim move and it looked like I was doing a Nazi sign or something. Yeah, yeah.

16:32And I think he freaked out, too. Well, he was looking for it. Like, I was like, oh, I'm late and running through the hallways. And he goes, where is he? And I said, who? And he goes, the little guy. Yeah. And I was coasting by. I was coasting by. But it must have looked like, you know, Heil Hitler or something. He was like, back against the wall. Something is wrong with everyone today. Mikey thinks he's a defensive end. Yeah. Trying to do a swim move. Weird. Everybody's lost their mind. What is happening? I don't know what's going on. I don't either. I know it. Let's get on track. Let's see. Oh, I want to tell people some cool stuff that's out there in the news. One of them is that... What was that? What was that? It sounded like a rattlesnake. Was it you? It was you. You blew it to your pen. No, I didn't. I thought that, like, I thought a dachshund ran into the room and panted into the microphone. I know. Like, someone's playing a prank on us. Where is the sixth mic? What does it sound like? Oh, wow. Sienna, tell me about the university that's going to give a bunch of kids iPads. How awesome is that? It's pretty cool. Yes, Satan Hill.

18:00Seton. What? Seton Hill? Seton Hill? My God, dude. All right, I'm out. Let's go. I'm done. Forget it. I'm out of here. S-E-T-O-N. Creepers. Seton Hill. Seton Hill. Seton Hill? It's not Hall. It says Hill. Let me see it. Let me see it. It's highlighted. It says Seton Hill University. It's Seton Hall. It does say Seton Hill, but don't they mean Seton Hall? Yes. Is that a typo? It's Satan's Hill, Mike. No, Mark. Yeah, here's the story. It's Satan's Hill. University. Oh, wow. It's in Pennsylvania. They announced that starting in the fall of 2010, every full-time student will get an iPad. Now we all know what the iPads are, right? Crazy. So cool. Yes. And they said they'd get them right from the bookstore. And it's really cool because they can download all of their textbooks. Wow. They can use them as phones and for air and file sharing. They can use them as phones? I guess. So iPads can be used as phones? No, they cannot. I didn't think so either. They can't be used as... What's just stuck?

19:12an entire magazine-sized device up to the side of his ear and sit alone. Every time he does. He loves it. It's so great. Well, it can be used for air and file sharing as well as note-taking. So that's pretty, I mean, that's a cool thing. That's pretty rad, dude. In college to have that? But they can download their textbooks and just go through and you won't have to carry all these books. That's really good. It's a very nice thing for that university to do. I would be all the way in on having it. And books are expensive, so it would pay off like after a semester or two. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, but you know the bad part about that? You don't get to go sell your books, which is literally the greatest day. If you never went to college, it's the greatest day in college history. Because you get a bunch of money? Yeah. And your parents don't ask for it back. How much? Dude, I get like $400 or $500. Do you really? Huge blowout for three days. Maybe 40% of what you paid or something. Things are changing, though. They've stopped using the books again next year. Really? Yeah. Some kids are like, it's weird. I used mine for food and gas. Which is like... It's great, man. You have a huge blowout for like three days. We go on vacation. Yeah, some people are like, that's weird. That's not what I did with mine. What did you do with yours? Planted trees? Yeah, food and gas. Planted trees. Planted trees. Yeah, it was food. Bought a dolphin. Yeah, I sponsored a dolphin to go to school.

20:30Yeah, I paid for two years of college for a dolphin. Bought a stretch of highway that I cleaned and recycled. I adopted it. Named a star after me. Yeah, I named a star. I think you can do that for like $10. Yeah, I named 150 stars after me. It was amazing. It was called Sienna. It was really good. 570-1949 is the number. Text us to 949mikey at gmail.com. What's up with this? Parental okay for medical leave. Okay, this is pretty nuts. Kids in high school. Now, as of right now or as of before, if they had any kind of medical reason to leave the school, if maybe, you know, someone was pregnant and they had an appointment, they had to get the parental okay to leave campus. Sure. Now... They have just approved the school board unanimously adopted the revised policy. This would happen on Tuesday night to cancel it. You no longer need the parental. OK, leave for a medical reason and say say the school found out that a girl was pregnant. Now, by law, they had to contact the girl's parents and let her let them know your daughter's pregnant. Right now, they can't do that. They have to keep the matters all confidential. If you're under 18, don't you think as a parent?

21:44You should know if your kid's pregnant. Yeah, I think this is going to cause problems, but it was, yeah, I mean, they approved it. It's unbelievable. It is unbelievable. Hey, listen, you've heard of some weird odds in baseball, things happening, weird stuff. When I tell you this, what this guy, wait till I hear you tell you who this guy hit with his foul ball. This is crazy, this story. Woods will do it in Woods on Sports coming up. And I'm also going to play you some comments made by Jay Leno about Conan O'Brien. And I want to ask you, what have you been talked into? Have you been talked into anything? You get talked into everything. Cargo short? That's right. 570-1949-949mikey at gmail.com. Are you ready? It's a little deftone. Woods, you're picking my music today. This is my favorite, dude. It's Digital Bath. Oh, my gosh. Is that the man? Yeah. Oh, really? It's Chino Marino. Oh, really? I thought that was either Sade or Imogen Heat. Oh, dude. It's good. Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 9 at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.

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27:06Try out plus a free refining face mask. Call toll free now. 1-800-244-1946. That's 1-800-244-1946. Musicians, this weekend while the kiddies hunt for eggs, you can fill your basket with amazing deals at Guitar Center. That's right. We're even open Easter Sunday with serious savings throughout the store. Like Ovation Acoustic Electrics. $100 off just $199. M-Audio Keyboard with Pro Tools. Our lowest price ever. $99. It's Guitar Center's Easter weekend savings. You'll find our deepest discounts since Christmas time. Like complete sound percussion drum kits with hardware and cymbals. Now $1.99. Guitar Center's Easter weekend savings event. Don't miss it. After reading. After discussing. After searching. You realize that at this school you don't memorize the answers to questions. You ask them. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. This report is brought to you by Walgreens. This Easter, create the perfect basket at Walgreens where you can find all your favorite candy and treats plus unique items that will make it personal. Walgreens, there's a way to make everybody happy. Heading on the 5 southbound before Imperial Avenue, there is an accident over on the right shoulder. It looks like it's a box truck and a couple other cars that are involved.

28:19Pretty wet and slippery, so you guys got to be careful. A lot of accidents already this morning on the 15 southbound after the 56. We've got a car that crashed into the center divider. It is blocking the one and two lanes. And the 15 southbound Mercy Road in accident. This is a car, again, slammed into that center divider. This report brought to you also by Napa Auto Parts. Valvoline conventional motor oil on sale for $2.79. A quart at participating Napa Auto Parts stores in April. Save an extra 50 cents per quart after a mail-in rebate. Applicable state and local taxes or recycling. fees apply. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now, more of The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Hey, yeah, yeah. Welcome back. What's he picking the music today? This is The Cars. It's all I can do. And you can call us. 570-1949 is our number. And our text, 949mikey at gmail.com. Welcome back. It's good to be back. Thank you, sir. Man, we got a lot. I'm looking at this thing. I'm like, oh my goodness, we have a lot of stuff. So we're going to be getting to Woods on Sports in just a second. There's a weird story that Sienna was kind of filling me in about. About John Gardner, the guy that is in custody right now, charged with the murder of Chelsea King. And the news is about a...

30:04MySpace page. MySpace page. What is it? What happened? Well, we know that he had a bunch of terms because of his parole when he was arrested six years ago or whatever. And we know that there were already seven other times where he violated his parole. And apparently one of the conditions you have is you can't go on MySpace or any of the social networking things like that. Good. Yeah, which is really good. But apparently he didn't listen to that either. And he's now been busted. He had a fake MySpace page where he went by the name Jason the Stud. Oh, my goodness. He referred to himself as the Energizer Bunny. He used sexually charged language when he was describing all of his interests. He listed his hometown as the Playboy Mansion. He called love one big ugly compromise of two people pretending not to know what the other is doing. And he opened this page December of 2007. So it's been open for a while now and no one found out until just now. And that's the thing. I wonder how you do. I wonder how you do know. I mean, I wonder how they know now, how they found out. I bet it was like linked to his IP address. You know, they can do crazy things now with technology. For sure. They probably got his computer looked and they're like, why is this guy logging on to MySpace every 15 minutes? Oh my gosh. Because he's not allowed to have a page. Oh, look, he's got a page. His hometown is the Playboy Mansion. Like, really?

31:29That's awful. Yeah. Mikey Show, who's this? This is AJ. How you doing, guys? Good, man. What's going on, AJ? Not much. You just want to make a comment on the iPad making a phone call? Right. I think potentially it can happen because you can download Skype and actually make a phone call. But you've got to have a few keys. Oh, I see what you're saying. You just go on their internet browser and you get Skype. Like a voice over IP service or something like that? You can download the app just like on your iPhone. Oh, okay. Potentially, you can. I mean, no one's really tried it yet. But I can see there's a potential there. I bet you're right, AJ. You're right. Thank you. Appreciate it. Good idea. By the way, if you have not joined our Facebook fan page, you should. Go to Facebook.com and search The Mikey Show. and become a fan of the Mikey Show. You can see it, by the way, too. I also want to let you know that if you go to MikeyShow.com, you can see the new sticker, the new Mikey Show sticker at MikeyShow.com right now. It says the new M1 Nation sticker. It's really, really cool. M1s are Mikey Show listeners. If you call into the show, you turn your radio down, get to the point, don't cuss. That's what being an M1 is. And it's also turning new people on to the Mikey Show, listening exclusively to the Mikey Show.

32:53you know, turning people onto this thing called M1 Nation. You can see the sticker there. The sticker right now is available at the radio station. So once business hours begin, which I believe is 8, 830, I'd be safe. I'd go nine. And if you come up to the seventh floor of the building, you can get one at the front desk. They'll give you the Mikey Show sticker. And it's a very cool looking sticker. You can see it right now at Mikey Show. They turned out so rad. Really cool. I love the colors. Yep. It's a really cool sticker, and so check it out. Look at Jay. Look at Jay. Pumping those fests, baby. Fired up. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to tell you about the outfielder that hit somebody with a foul ball here in a minute, but first and foremost, the San Diego Chargers have announced their preseason schedule for 2010. Really? I like to say 2010. There's some great teams on there, actually. They're going to play the Bears. They're going to play the Saints, the Super Bowl champion Saints, the Niners. And the big one, the Dallas Cowboys. Really? Yeah, the Cowboys are coming. Hey, San Diego. I'm back. Hey, how you doing? This is my boy, Wade Phillips. He used to be my defensive coordinator. How you doing, Wade? I'm all right. Now, here's the deal. I just want to let you know.

34:32First play is going to be a sweep, all right? Okay. Second down, we're going to throw the ball deep. And then third down, I just want to let you know, we're going to give the ball to Sprolesy. Okay. And we're going to run it right up the eight-up. Where did LT go? LT's not here anymore. He went to the Jets. Jerry sends me to the desert every offseason, and I eat peyote, and I just hang out. Why do you do the peyote? Why do you eat the peyote? Got to shut down the engines, get back to neutral. Have you tried psychedelic mushrooms? Absolutely. Have you ignored it? I'm on them right now. Oh, that explains a lot. It's great. We spoke the other day about Arizona Cardinals linebacker Joey Porter. Remember him? He was at the fast food restaurant. He got in trouble for a DUI. He was resisting arrest, and then he assaulted that cop by slapping him on the hand. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah, no charges are going to be filed against him now. Wow. Let it go. Why are they not going to? I don't know. You don't. They said the jury probably wouldn't find him guilty. Really? Just wasting tax dollars. Let's go let that go. How ironic it is that his punishment is a slap on the hand. Unbelievable. The slap on the wrist. Get it. Minnesota Twins outfielder Denard Spann. He was playing the Yankees yesterday in a spring training game.

35:57Phil Hughes is throwing to him. He fouls a pitch off. It goes into the stands. And it hit his mother. Whoa. In the chest. How many people in the stands? Enough. I mean, the odds of that have got to be in the billions. So he saw it. He saw it happen. He saw the ball going towards her. She had his jersey on. It hit her in the chest. He ran up there, flipped out, obviously, tried to take care of her. She's okay. But he stayed with her until the paramedics came. He went back to the plate, struck out on the next pitch, went in the dugout. He's like, I got to go. I'm not into it. I got to go. So he left and went and hung out with her. Here we actually have him talking about it, too, Mike. Cut one. It was kind of a defensive swing to kind of foul off the pitch. And as soon as the ball came up my bat, I knew it was one of those balls that was going to. going to the stands and, you know, and possibly hit somebody. But once, you know, the bat came off, I mean, the ball came off my bat, you know, I seen the ball going towards my mom and, you know, when I actually hit her, it kind of froze. And, you know, once I actually, you know, snapped out of that, you know, all I could do is just race over to her and try to see if she was okay. Oh, your day is done. Done. Yeah, he just, he went to his, yeah, she's fine. She, he just went to his manager. He's like.

37:16I obviously can't play the rest of the game. You understand, right? Go do your thing, man. Spring training. My mom took one in the kisser. Really? From a Padre foul ball. You are kidding. She's never been back to a spring training or a baseball game since. Wow. I broke my mom's nose. Playing softball. Believe me. Yeah. Was she in the stand? No. She was, like, the manager on the team. And I, like, made her play. And you were like, put me in. I was like, mom, let's play catch or something. Like, when practice was over. And she was like, no, no, no. And I was like, come on, mom. And I threw the ball to her and it bounced off her mitt and hit her in the face. Are you serious? I told you I didn't want to play. And then I left for sixth grade camp the next day. I was like, sorry, mom. I felt so bad. You must have felt so terrible. I did. You guys ever heard of? War Machine. Yeah, dude, from the UFC. He's from San Diego, dude. He used to fight in the UFC. His name was John Copenhaver. He legally changed his name to War Machine. Yeah. But got in a little trouble last night in PB. What happened? He apparently lost his mind for a minute. He was at Thrusters Lounge, and according to Bouncer, he was quote. That's a real place? Yeah. Thrusters is the world's smallest bar. It's on Mission Boulevard. Oh, then I'd be perfect there. I would fit in there great. It's like a tiny room. That's what they say about me.

38:33So he's hanging out at thrusters. Hey, there's Mikey. He's a tiny room. No, no, no. So he was going crazy. He actually punched somebody. They called the cops. He ran off down the street, like losing his mind, right? And the cops grabbed him, arrested him, charged with assault with a deadly weapon. His fist. Yeah, because he's a professional. Deadly weapon. They had to put a bag over his head to keep him from spitting at them. Like he had... Snap. Yeah, he had snapped. So you guys remember Steve Phillips, the ESPN analyst and former GM of the Mets. He was sleeping with that intern. He got in all that trouble. He was at the same sex camp that Tiger Woods was at in Mississippi. And here he is talking about his time there. I had to dig this audio up. It's real fresh. Cut to. Yeah, I went away for 45 days of treatment to Hattiesburg, Mississippi, to a facility that really deals with sex addiction. It was a life-changing event for me. I mean, you know, the experts are there. Dr. Patrick Carnes is the guy who really started the program to deal with this. And it's his program there. And it really gets to the core issues that, you know, cause these sorts of behaviors in the addiction. It's a trauma-based illness, shame-based illness, where there's that hole inside where you just don't like yourself. And I had that. And despite being successful in certain areas, none of that really filled that hole for me.

39:56And it caused me to make decisions to try to medicate myself and make some of the pain go away. I wonder if 2010 will be looked back on. It's the year of the sex camp. It's the new bit. It's a thing right now. It's the new bit. I cheated on my wife. I'm going to go check in the sex camp for a week. Well, that's where Jesse James is now. Jesse James is there now. Tiger just got... I mean, these guys are like, yeah, keep them coming. It really is right now. It's the new bit. This is interesting. Jay Leno. was being interviewed, and he was being interviewed by, he was, I guess, on the Joy Behar show? Yeah, they were backstage at the Tonight Show, and she was asking him questions. Is that what the deal was? Mm-hmm. And I guess she was asking him about Conan. Yeah. Do you feel upset about Conan? Do you feel bad about Conan? Conan got screwed. I got screwed. I mean, this is TV. The reason show business pays a lot of money is that when you get screwed, you've got something left over. That's right. You know, if you're a nurse or a cop and you get screwed out of your pension, you're screwed out of your pension. To TV, they give you, at least you walk away with some money. Conan was treated terribly. And I was treated terribly. And guys make a decision. I think Conan will come back and he'll be strong. And, you know, we'll all compete against one another. It should be me against Letterman, against Conan, against Kimmel. And then you see who wins.

41:16She's like, can I get a word in? Yeah. What's up? Okay. Bound chicken, bound, bound music in the back. They're shitting an adult film next door. Apparently so. 570-1949 or you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. If you care. Also, Leno said that he thinks that Conan will be back soon. Really? I hope so. Yeah. I hope so. What have you been talked into? And are you the type that can be talked into stuff? I am. I am. Mikey. Mikey. Me. And Woods, apparently, too. Yeah, dude. I mean, I got talked in a lot of stuff. What kind of shorts do you guys wear now? Straight leg shorts. No longer cargos. I'm still wearing them. Yeah. You guys need to call up my boyfriend, Matt, please. Oh, we need to make it right for Matt? We need to make it real right. He's cargoing it up? No. He's still going cargo? Cargos are cool. He told me yesterday. Say, cargos are lame, dude. Check your mouth. I get the ultimate payback over the weekend because Todd's like, I'm going to do some yard work. I'm going to where the car goes. I was like, no, don't worry. He's like, I'm just in the yard. I'm like, fine, fine. So he put him on. And my good, very sweet husband has been eating along with me during the pregnancy. Really? So when he was doing a little yard work.

42:29Busted a button on his cargo shirt. No way. He doesn't look like he's gained weight, but in his mind, he's like, I totally have. I'm showing. 570-1949. Tell me the stupidest thing you've been talked into. Pepper. Giant rooster tattoo on my ankle. That's right. I wasn't talked into the... I mean, in fact, I... I somewhat came up with a hybrid design of the rooster that is now on my ankle. But I wanted it maybe the size of like a quarter. A little one. Right now it's about the size of a Frisbee. No, it's not. But how big is it? It is probably like the same diameter as like a tennis ball. If not a baseball, I don't know. Yeah. Or a softball. And colorful. It is colorful. And colorful. That was the tattoo artist idea. He was like, you don't have any ink? Oh, come on. You got to go bigger. You got to go bigger. You got to go bolder. And then everyone in there was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yes. I'm sold. I'm sold. Strangers are like, do it. Come on. Totally. Yeah, they were like, come on, come on. And I have like, then after when I got the tattoo, he was like, wow, you are like brave. And we're just chatting it up. And I wasn't really in pain or anything. So I walked like, I was like, man, this looks cool. And they're all like talking it up.

43:53I go, I show, Matt's like one of the first people I show and I lift it up and he goes, hilarious. No. Wow. Hilarious. I go, that's not exactly the reaction. No, not at all. Oh my goodness. Well, I was talked into dating a few people. You were? Including the man that I'm married to. For real? Yeah. You were talked into it? Yeah, I knew Todd like six months before we ever started dating. And I had a friend of mine that I worked with at the old radio station. And he was really good friends with Todd. He's like, he's a really good dude. He's a really good dude. Come on. He really likes you. He thinks you're so cool. He loves young girls. How much older is he? 13 and a half years. He's 38. I'm about to be 25. And so I was like, man, he's older. Like, he has a kid. I don't know. He's like, oh, come on. Just give him a try. And so I did. And I needed a little more convincing for a little while. And now I'm married to him. See, that's a good story. Having his baby. Having his baby. I am definitely the guy that can be talked into stuff. In and out of anything. Yeah, 100. Well, if we're talking, even if we're talking about a subject, listen, if you can give me a compelling argument, I'll go. You're sold.

45:03Yeah, I'll sell. You can sell me if it's a compelling argument. Now, when it comes to other stuff, all you need to do is shame me out of it. I mean, I'll be shamed right out of. And some things I'm really glad to be shamed out of. Thank goodness somebody shamed me out of jean shorts. Oh, my gosh. Yes. You were a big player with jean shorts back in the day. Thanks, Woods. Yeah, definitely. Everyone was, though. No, they weren't. Were they huge ones past your knees? Here's the deal. Back at the old... I just remembered. Mike is cringing. I just had an epiphany. I would walk in the studio on Friday morning. Mike, take your hands away from your face. Mikey would be in jean shorts. Eddie would be in jean shorts. And Blunder would be in jean shorts. Okay, but what year was this? This is like... 2002. 2001. It's the genie show. 2001 and two. Ouch. I mean, it was like jean short paradise in there. Three of you guys were like, yeah, man, it's cool. Yeah, it's cool. I just remembered. Well, at least he didn't have a chain wallet. Oh, no, he had a chain wallet. He had that until about two weeks ago. Oh, my God. I just remembered that bit. Like dirty looking jean shorts. He actually asked Rebecca if it was okay to wear his chain wallet to Sienna's wedding in a suit. In a suit.

46:22I'm so disappointed in you. I didn't do it. Thank goodness. We can't understand you with your hands covering your face. I just remembered. I always know when Mikey's about to crack because your eyebrows will go in and up. In and up. And he's like, really? And I'm like, oh, we're going to get him. It just takes one more shot. Woods, too. Woods was shamed right out of those cargos, man. He's a lot harder to... to prod into things. Absolutely. He puts up a pretty good fight. I'll put up a fight. I just want you guys to know, though, you are chipping away when you're doing it. Yeah. You don't realize what big chunks out of the tree you're taking. From Woodsy Boy? Yeah, from Woodsy. Because he makes it seem like you're not making any progress. You're making enormous progress. No question. You know what I haven't seen in a while? What? His little astronaut shoes. Aww. Aww. Did you stop wearing the astronaut shoes? Yeah, you did. You stopped with the astronaut shoes. Did you really? I wore them Monday. I'm just giving you a hard time. No, I wore them Monday because I wanted to wear the Italian leathers today, pal. Those are nice. From Milan. Let me tell you what the astronaut shoes are. The Hugo Boss, dude. No laces. They look awesome with jeans. Velcro. They're very European. Slip on sneakers.

47:45Woodsy bought these slip-on sneakers. They're Hugo Boss. Yeah, yeah, for sure. There's suction cups on the bottom. Eject, eject, eject, eject, eject. He's going to get mad. He's going to get mad. We need like a... Warning, warning. Eject, eject. Stop talking. Jay's got it down. Jay, do it again. This could work too. That could work too. Either way. That will blow his lid off. That'll make it worse, yeah. We need a tea kettle sound. I have to. Yeah, that's genius. Well. That's great. Wow, Jay. Woods even wrote a song about getting rid of the cargo shorts. I did. Oh, nice. I heard it a lot. Saying bye-bye to those suckers. Gotta get rid of them. The kid is rarely wrong, especially about clothes. He reads GQ and shops at all the fancy stores. But recently he has been put in his place. When it comes to shorts, he's been slapped right in the face. He's ditching all his cargo shorts. He can't sleep at night. He's cut the cord. The kid made it right.

49:04He's been shamed so much by Pepper and by Red. He's called an audible and ditched the shorts instead. He's working hard, but he looked just like a clown. He bought some shorts where your legs go straight down. You don't know just how this feels. His old shorts were tight. He's cut the cord. The kids made it right. When I wrote that line, he's got an audible. It's so great. I don't know why. What did I say? Oh, man, it killed me. Be careful out there. The roads are slippery. Oh, God. It's raining. Stop. They are. I know, but it's just in San Diego we do. We kind of freak out. I felt a little slip. Yeah, and I saw a semi-truck. Did you see that, Jay? I saw it. Yeah, you saw that? Semi-truck on the five had gone right through the divider because it was slippery out there. And so, yes, you're in San Diego. And I had a little. Yeah, me too. You did? I put it in four-wheel high.

50:22You're from New Jersey. I know, but it's not the driver that's at fault. It's the roads. Now, I admit, sometimes it'll drizzle here and people are like, oh, my God, oh, my God. Especially when it's dark, you don't know because you go in like a random huge puddle. I've made a big, big choice in my life, big decision. I am no longer going to drink diet sodas. Did we do it? Did we do it? We didn't do that. Who did it? Who shamed you out of it? Nobody shamed me. You're a trainer. Yeah, you're a trainer. No, no, no. You know what it was? What? I've been considering it for about two weeks now. The reason is because I was talking to my friend Russ, and he told me that he saw an episode of Good Eats with Alton Brown, and Alton Brown lost all this weight, and he said that part of the thing that he did was eliminating diet soda. Yeah. Actually, you gain weight with diet soda. Really? Yep. It's something like that. So all sodas are gone? So good, though. I only drink diet. So all sodas are gone? Sodas are gone. What about? Look, I have water. What about some sparkling water with a splash of lemon? Well, this is day one. You're miserable already. I haven't. This is going to be the first water I've had. In six weeks. Yeah, in six years. Six years. Yeah, you know, I'm on the water now. I'm not miserable yet because I haven't drank it, but I'm going to drink it right now.

51:48I'm proud of you. I'd normally be having a diet soda. I'll do it with you, pal. What if it's like an occasional one? Toss this. Really? You're going to do it right now? I need to, dude, because I'm fat. I can do it. I'll drop 15 pounds in two weeks with no sodas. I'm not kidding. My sister did. Well, not in two weeks. With no sodas, I can drop weight like a madman. It's a lot of empty calories. Mikey just threw away Woods' full drink. You can recycle that, by the way. Yeah. I knew that I was coming. I'm so sorry. Hey, Mikey, how many were you drinking a day? Three? Oh, see. I'm about that, too. I'm a one. I just drink one for lunch. Yeah, I probably have three a day. No more. Jeff Buckley, Forget Her is a Song. Let's see. Okay, so we got some really cool stuff I got to tell you about. President Obama announced yesterday that he's going to be doing something, and it has a lot of Democrats upset. And a lot of Republicans are like, yeah, sure, fine, no problem. What are people going to think about this? And there's a lot of audio on that. And so we'll do that. And then also we got to tell you about the guy that was shoving people around because of a filet of fish. I'll tell you about it. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Think back to when you were a kid. Remember building stuff with building blocks or maybe getting all the cushions off the couch and building a fort? Your imagination went wild.

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53:59Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff you get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What did you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinated. for 24 hours, and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour, spicy, all at the same time. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Mamatesta Taqueria, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. Maybe I should write a jingle. Taylor loves us. Do you know if you qualify for the credit card bailout program? If your credit card debt is out of control.

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56:12Oil, brake dust, and fluids seep from our cars onto the roadways, and when it rains, these pollutants wash into our storm drains and are carried to our creeks, bays, ocean, and beaches. It's an unhealthy mess we've created. You see, the storm drains are not connected to a treatment system, so what we dump, spit, drip, and leave in the street doesn't get removed from the water before reaching the beach. But each of us can make a difference. Keeping your car tuned or using alternative transportation reduces the amount of pollutants left behind. By making small changes, each of us can make a big difference. Remember, it's not that far from our roads to our beaches. Clean water. It's what we all want. Think blue, San Diego. Attention to all Americans struggling with medical bills and credit card debt. Due to the economic crisis, a program approved by the United States government now may eliminate 100% of your medical bills and credit card debt entirely.

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58:18So we're offering you our biggest thank you ever. For full details on these unprecedented offers, visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, moving forward. Sales claim based on motorintelligence.com calendar year 2009 sales. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report is brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. You need that extra value from your vehicle, and Firestone Complete Auto Care can help. From oil changes to brake repairs to new tires, call 1-800-LOCATE-US for the Firestone Complete Auto Care nearest you. On the 5 southbound after Gilman Drive, it's an overturned SUV. It went off the left shoulder and into brush. An ambulance is on the scene right now. Heading on the 15 southbound after Carmel Mountain Road, an accident. The number one lane is blocked. Looks like this is a multi-vehicle accident coming up here on the 5 northbound after Balboa. avenue three cars and they've got the number two and three lanes blocked need an excuse to be late for work this is the morning because there's a lot of accidents on the freeway this report is also brought to you by napa auto parts attention all lawn jockey motorists hurry to a participating napa auto parts store in april for their big spring battery sale napa lawn and garden batteries as low as 22 49 with exchange plus you can save an extra five dollars after a mail-in rebate i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9

59:39KBZT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Today, a little Saints on Fire. It's his buddy's band. In a hurry, he's the name of it. Yeah! So, President Obama got some people fired up yesterday. No. Words here. I don't want to upset anybody. Listen, and I support our president. That a boy. I do. Don't. What? Do you know what position I played in soccer? Goalie. Left wing. Striker. Left wing. Left wing. Wow. Well, then, as a left winger. Actually, I played right wing. Did you? Yeah, I was right foot. I am right foot. As a left winger, you would not be happy with the decision that was made by President Obama to begin offshore drilling. Mm-hmm. Here in America. Yep.

1:00:56A position he was very against. How can it be offshore if it's here in America? Because it's on American waters. The mid-Atlantic region. Yeah, that's right. That's right. And the White House press secretary was talking about it yesterday. Well, I would say that this comprehensive approach is a lot less drill, baby, drill, and more drill where it's responsible, promote efficiency. invest in clean energy, and create jobs of the future. That's a cool take. Sounds great for me. Yeah, it's a great take. I wish we would have had that guy say that during the Bush administration. He wouldn't have taken so much heat for it. He could have gone, listen, this isn't drill, baby, drill. This is just responsible. That's all. And then it would have sounded cool, and everybody would have been like, oh, awesome. But the bottom line, we're going to drill. Now, I don't know how you feel about it. But aren't they already, I mean, I don't, I'm not that knowledgeable. I'm not actually knowledgeable at all on the subject, but aren't they already doing that in Texas? Oh, they're doing it all over the place. But it's not, not, not in Texas, they don't do offshore drilling, do they? Yeah, they do. Down in the Gulf? Yeah. And in Alaska, too, don't they? No? Uh...

1:02:14Alaska, I'm not sure if they do offshore. I know that the big controversy was whether they were going to do it in the state of Alaska. So offshore means like in an island or something? No. What's the beef? In the water. Oh. What's the beef? Environment? Yeah, the environment. Because when they do it, you know, the oil could leak, the oil could come out, the oil, you know, drilling for oil, you know, drilling. And Obama was very against it. He was a very environmentally friendly president going into the election. and made this announcement yesterday, and it upset a lot of people because a lot of people that support him said, we don't want that. President Obama today has reversed course and said he's open to drilling for oil offshore. Today he said he would allow oil drilling off the coast of Virginia. He also wants it all drilling off the Florida coast. So environmentalists say it's a protected habitat. Not for marine life, for Cuban swimmers. They've got to keep the lane. You can't have anything in the way. I wonder how disruptive that is. Is it like... Like the movie Armageddon? Like, can they just get down in there with something sophisticated? Or is it like a whole... No, I think you just take the thing... You just take a wine opener. Like a DeWalt drill. Yeah, you take a DeWalt drill or you take a wine opener and you just screw it down in there. And hope. And you just hope. Hope upon hope. And then if something does happen, you stick a straw and you go... You siphon it. You suck on it until the oil starts sticking out of there.

1:03:38Jay is shaking his head. Well, I worked on rigs, and it was messy. It was messy, and there was oil, and there was trash thrown in the water. As an environmentalist, you're probably out on any offshore drilling. Man, just see what it does. We used to go to Galveston all the time. There's just big patches of tar on the beach. You get on your clothes. You get on the birds. You get on everything. It's hard to contain it. Mistakes happen. I get we need oil, 100%. At the same time, gosh, can we stay out of the ocean? I didn't know that's what that meant. That's what it means. I thought it meant offshore as in, like, offshore, like, outsourcing. No. No, no, no. It means off the actual shoreline, in the water. We are going to need to harness traditional sources of fuel. You mean oil? Yep. Even as we ramp up production of new sources of renewable homegrown energy. Which is what he campaigned on. I mean, he has to know, like, going into this, man, I need to say this carefully, but, I mean, everyone's going to be furious with him who voted, right? Of course. Like, you just totally went back on something else that you said you were against. Well, maybe it was a situation where he got into office and he said, it's prudent, makes sense. Oh, wow, now I get it. Things change. It's called on the job, Jenny. On the O-T-J-T. Yeah.

1:05:00It's the same reason, by the way. It's just OTJT. Lack of experience. It's the same reason that I would never be for Sarah Palin. Because she doesn't have any more experience. And as a Republican, as a conservative, I'd never be for Sarah Palin. Hey, can anybody give me an example of a president that had presidential experience before he was the president? No, but what I can give you is people that had experience that were more than just junior senators. Well, for sure. Absolutely. Listen, McCain. I knew President Washington personally. Well, fair enough. Personally. They went to high school. They did. You know what I mean? He's not the most well-spoken man, but he definitely knew what he was talking about. For sure. Well, it's, you know, hey, hindsight's 20-20, my man. You know what I mean? It's, I would love. Now, you're talking about Democrats, right? Well, no, I would love, I would love to end our dependence on foreign oil. Wouldn't you guys? Yeah. Maybe some of our boys wouldn't be coming home in boxes if that happened. If they did. But that means we got to have, I love this renewable energy. I love all that stuff. I do too. I wish we could run our cars with solar, you know what I mean? I wish we could run our cars on Copenhagen. That's right. My car would go real fast. I wish I had a toilet made of solid gold. Absolutely. It's just not in the cons. So today we're announcing the expansion of offshore oil and gas. That's right, we are. That's right. Well, got a lot of people upset. Maybe there's advanced technology. I don't know. I can't imagine why he would be okaying this. Because he got in there.

1:06:26And he realized that we need it. So he said, no, we got to do it. Oil companies have huge money, too. Well, he pleased a bunch of Republicans yesterday. Of course. The good old boys. That's right. That's right. It's not the GOP. It's the GOB. Yeah, the good old boys. They got some money staked in the oil there. That's right. You know what? I'm against the GOB. I like the LOB. How do you like that? I like the LOB. How do you think about that? M1 Adopter? Hey. What up? What's up? So I just want to say that I actually do support proposal to drill oil, even though I'm environmentalist, because it does give that investment into green industry. How does it do that? Well, I think what it is, it's going to use the taxes from the oil companies on these new... Yeah, but didn't the Bush administration do the same thing to please the liberal left?

1:07:36They did try. I'm not sure how successful they were. Or at least they were trying to open up the Pacific. Actually, the Bush administration was trying to open it. We're getting too serious because it's... And areas that are already being grilled, like the Atlantic and the Glasgow, which right now Alaska is closed to. That is true. Well, thank you, Adopter. I appreciate it. It's April Fool's. We're supposed to be having a foolishly fun time. Supposed to be up to evil shenanigans. That's right. 570-1949 is our phone number. You can text us, too, if you want to. 949mikey at gmail.com. Talk to me, Sienna, about the guy that wanted a fish sandwich real bad. He wanted it so badly. Really bad. Really, really, really badly. This guy in New Jersey, he drove through McDonald's at 4.30 in the morning because he needed his Filet-O-Fish sandwich. I wonder if he had anything to drink.

1:08:39Why, like, would you really crave a fish sandwich at four in the morning? Why do you want a fish sandwich? Because you just got back from blowing it out in Manhattan, having a ball, and you got hungry. I guarantee you. That's a deal. I guarantee you. Well, he was not happy with the fast food service because they took a little too long. So what did he do? He pulled right up close to the window. He climbed through the pickup window, yelled at the restaurant employee, and got a little bit crazy saying that the sandwich was taking too long. So he grabbed the sandwich off of the little conveyor belt and left. I wonder what that 911 call might. 911. It's an emergency. Yeah, hi, how you doing? I'm in Mickey's right now, and I just saw this guy, he came through the window, and he, I guess he wanted a fish sandwich or something, and he came in, and he shoved a guy, the guy that works there, and he's like, yeah, he said, give me a fish sandwich. That sounds pretty good, fish sandwich. Why are you calling me? Dude, hello, he came in. Yeah, he shoved the worker. There's all kind of ruckus going on. Why did he shove the worker?

1:09:52Because he wanted a fish sandwich. Why didn't he just order a fish sandwich? I don't know, man. I don't know. All right. Do you got the worker there with you? Yeah, yeah, he's right here. Hold on. Let me talk to him. Okay. Hello? Yeah. Hello? This is 911. Somebody called me. Yeah, I just got shoved, man. You just got shoved? Yeah, I got shoved by a guy who wanted a fish sandwich, shoved me out of the way, took the fish sandwich, jumped out the window. Well. Why are you guys calling 9-1-1? You really had to call 9-1-1 because you got shoved? Yeah, well, yeah, yeah. Okay. Hello? Yeah, I'm here. Is this really 9-1-1? Yeah, man, this is 9-1-1. Did you hear what, do you speak English? I'm speaking English, pal. No, I know, but you don't understand that I got shoved and that he took the sandwich and went out the window? Yeah, what's the sandwich, about a dollar? I think you guys will be okay. Okay. Why did he have to climb through the window? Because the door is locked. Well, I don't know why. Is this real person? Yeah, I'm a real guy. Okay. Why are you guys calling 911, man? Because I got shoved and somebody took a sandwich and ran out the window. You're really going to cry because you got shoved and somebody took a sandwich? Okay.

1:11:10All right, well, I'm sorry. Okay, have a good night, pal. Bye-bye. All right, bye. Pretty insensitive. Very insensitive. It sounded like I didn't want to be bothered very much. That is the most insensitive 911 worker I think I've ever heard in my life. I like how the 911 worker was like, ooh, a fish sandwich. Sounds good. Sounds good. Sounds good right now. That 911 operator sounds... So bored, like he's just sitting there chewing coconut. Yeah, probably. It's like 4.30 in the morning, you know. Dippin' his mouth. Just wants to get off work, you know what I mean? Go home, take a nap. Yeah, he's been playing solitaire all night. You know what I mean? Oh, wow. 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to get a hold of us by text message. You know what? I'm so glad that we have the opportunity to talk to the TomTom Girl on the Movie phone guy because... The two of them have been dating, and it hasn't been going very well. Movie phone guy, last week when we talked to you, you said that you guys had gone to Taiwan to meet TomTom Girl's parents, and it just didn't go like you thought it was going to go. Good morning, Mikey. Good morning, movie phone guy. It didn't go well, right? Right. And have you guys worked it out, or is it still rocky? TomTom Girl, things rocky?

1:12:29Things are pretty rocky, Mikey. I'm pretty sick of hearing his stupid inflected voice as well. Really? Like I said, maybe you try an inflection once in a while. It's like talking to a robot. I am a robot idiot. It's like making love to a robot. That's interesting. That was a low blow. That was a low blow. That's what she said. Now you're pulling Woods' bits. Yeah, you are, movie phone guy. Woods is the man. Okay, movie phone guy, it's really interesting that you like Woods so much. Oh, wow. Can I ask you a question, movie film guy? Give me one thing that you have a problem with her. Everything I've seen, she's been sweet to you. She drinks too much, Mikey. Really? She drinks too much? That's a bit of an exaggeration, if I do say so myself. I get a little tipsy from time to time. What's your favorite drink? I like white wine spritzers, Mikey. What? I said I like white wine spritzers, Mikey. Really? They're delicious and bubbly. They taste real good? They taste delicious in my knobs. So he pours them in your knobs? Does he get the... So, movie phone guy, do you... What the heck? Do you order the white wine spritzer poured in your knobs? No, Mikey. Only 80-year-olds drink white wine spritzers. Cut me some slack. You would be drinking, too, if you dated this guy, Mikey. So...

1:13:59Movie phone guy. Yes. I don't believe you. Believe me. I don't believe you. I've got the proof. She doesn't have anything. She's the sweetest little thing ever. Let me grab my cell phone. You have your cell phone? What are you doing that for? You know why. What are you, why are you doing, what? Check this out. Hello, and welcome to, I, I need, hello, this is TomDomGirl. How are you, my darling? I turned left. I mean, I'm a little out of sorts. I've been missing you, and I just wanted to say something to you, which is...

1:14:57I love you. Oh, wow. I said it that I love you. And I hope that... Turn left at next intersection. I hope that we can work this out. Creep. Movie film guy. I love your options for the right guy. One. I love you. Trying to hang up the phone. You sound like a drunk creep. Mikey, I said I glove you. Yeah, you sound like a drunk creep. I said I glove you. I was getting confused with what the glove compartment was. Mike, Mikey. What are you drunk dialing? Mikey. Yeah. This is not the first time. Really? That didn't sound like the word glove. No. Your boy Woods has not reprogrammed me. I'm getting confused with what a glove box is. So let me get this straight.

1:15:58You get drunk on white wine spritzers like an 80-year-old woman? I get a little sauced. And then you drunk-dial? That wasn't a drunk-dial, Mikey. It was a drunk-dial. I was a little out of sorts. Yeah, drunk-dial. A little? You sounded wasted on there. Yeah, you did. I think she has a problem. Yeah, you think? I've got a problem. It's called movie phone, guys. Oh, my God. Movie phone, guys? You just break up, then, if you're that bad. Send the guy to camp. She's really good in the sack. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Really? I know how to shake what my mommy gave me. This is weird. I'm uncomfortable. That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard you say. You drunk little hussy. I pick up my cheesy hip-hop lines from Woods' automobile. Yeah, that's all he listens to. I think you're full of it. I think you should not.

1:16:57I think you're full of it, movie phone guy. I think that Woodsy is blasting the Beyonce in his spare time. Zero percent. Plenty of Miley Cyrus as well, Mikey. Who doesn't love a little Miley? Woods doesn't. No, he does. He loves it. He's blasting it. As he's blasting Sig as well, Mikey. 570-1949. And you can also text us, 949-MIKEY. At gmail.com. Those two are out of control. They're really nuts. Keep your girl into wraps there, Woods. Seriously. A little while later, we're going to check in with the Urban Survivor. Yes. Yes. See what the Urban Survivor's been up to lately. Did you know that... Barbara Bush has been released from the hospital. A lot of people didn't even know she was in there. Yeah, she was brought to the hospital in Houston on Saturday, and she has been released. Really? She's doing a lot better. She's 85 years old now. Oh, my goodness. I know it.

1:18:03So the family said she's doing a lot better. She was talking. She should be fine. She had surgery a few years ago. So they think it was due to a little complication from that. She had a mild relapse of Graves disease. She was treated for that. No, in 89, she was treated for that. So it's good. She's doing a lot better. Hey, I don't know if you heard this story, but this woman apparently won $42 million at a casino. Score. And they're not paying her. What? She was just on the CBS early morning show talking about it. I jumped up and down, and, of course, I was overwhelmed. And people came up to you? People came up to me. There was a lady sitting on the left-hand side of me, and she came over and looked at my machine, and she said, oh, my God, you just won $42 million. Did the casino workers come up to you? Can you imagine that? Holy cow. I think I'd faint. Yeah, I think I'd probably faint. $42 million. I'd pass out. That's ridiculous. I would hug. I won like 500 bucks once and I almost flipped out. Yeah, right? On what? Blackjack. Really? That's a lot of money. Actually, I won a grand at Craps, too, one time. Did you really? Yeah. Let's just start Frenching them. It was amazing. I didn't French all of you. Amazing. I had a slot machine. I won $600 one time. Pretty solid. Had to stand there at that slot machine forever for somebody to come help me. I wasn't going to leave it. No way. Forget it. Were you at that point? Yes. They told me.

1:19:31Wow, $42 million? We can't pay you that. Our casino's not even worth that much. What? We would have to hand over the keys to you. Sorry. Okay. Well, yeah, that'll do. Yeah, exactly. It would be Woods' casino. Yeah. That'll do, too. Wow. Do you have the deed? Yeah. Sign that deed over to me, please. And then I owe you. Yeah. Yeah. It's as good as money. So this is a big deal now, right? Because she... She obviously won the money. They told her that, and I'm sure she talked to numerous people in the casino that told her, and then they can't just say, oh, sorry. We'll give you your quarterback. So what did they offer as a consolation? Anything? I don't even know. I think she's furious. I saw it on the news briefly last night, and I think, I mean, obviously this isn't just going to go away. No, no. You don't just tell someone, yeah. She's going to sue, and she's going to get a lot of money from them. Absolutely. But there can't be a settlement. It has to be $42 million minimum. Yeah, you won. Yeah, you won. So it's not like you go, well, listen, we'll settle for $10 million. No, that's not what I won. I won $42 million. M1 Sarah's on the line. Hi, Sarah. Hi. What were you calling to tell us? I was just calling to tell you I'm driving on the 15th freeway south.

1:20:44Usually I'd be close to the carpooling because they're moving faster, but it's completely backed up because it's a huge accident. So I'd advise people not taking the carpooling if they can. I'm telling you, man, that rain makes it crazy out there. It is. And tell me whereabouts on the 15. Well, it starts kind of about near Mesa area. Okay. And then it just completely, it was going fine for a little while, but then it completely stopped and then we're. on the freeway part, and we're moving faster than they are. 15 South. Right. Got it. Thank you very much. How are you doing, by the way? Listen to Woodsy. Woodsy apparently thinks that you have a cute voice, Sarah. Sounds like a little angel. Well, thank you. She sounds like a little angel, he said. My goodness. Thank you very much. Have a good day. Thank you. Oh, wow. She and I have completely opposite voices. You really do. I can't even pretend to talk that high. Yeah. Well, you both have sexy voices in different ways. Different ways. Different ways. I'm creeped out. I'm creeped out. M1 Jason. Hey. Hey, guys. How's it going? Good. Hey, I just want to give you guys a story. A couple weeks ago, I flew up to my corporate office and they flew like six of us up on our company plane. And as we're flying up there, flying over Santa Barbara.

1:22:07You can see the oil flicks above Santa Barbara, almost probably like 500 yards out from the shore. Wow. And you can see it coming off the oil rigs that are off the coast. And, you know, if it's that bad on the Pacific coast, just imagine what it's like in the Gulf. Oh, my gosh. It's not my fault. You know? It was like four of my coworkers. We all looked out the window of the jet, and we're like, oh, my God, look at that. And then you can just see the flicks. Oh. It was bad. That's horrible. Hey, dude. Thanks for the call, man. No problem. By the way, Countdown Girl needs some new batteries. Yeah, she does. Her battery was winding down. Could you hear it? Exactly. 570-1949. Or you could also text us. 949mikey at gmail.com is the number to get a hold of us by text. Oh, yeah. Name of the band is And You Will Know Us by the Trail of the Dead. Will you smile again for me?

1:23:09is the name of the song. Jay's kids, our producer Jay, he's 46 years of age. His kids do something that he wrote in his recap. And by the way, he's got kids from varying ages. Six to 21. From six to 21, right, Jay? Seven to 21. Seven to 21 now. Seven to 21. And I want to know if there's anybody in our listening audience that does this as well. It has to do with Easter. I'll explain. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. The Grammy award-winning Green Day. September 2nd. Presented by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. Go to Green. Made a special buy on hibiscus plants. Get three one-gallon containers for just $10. With big bursts of color, your hibiscus plants will light up your porch like a floral fireworks display. And you'll get plenty of bang for your buck, too.

1:24:45using your savings to add some decorative pots or even more hibiscus plants. Right now, three for $10. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. While supplies last, U.S. only sees door for details. Do you remember when you used a dial-up to access the Internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed, and now you're doing more and more on the Internet. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with Dial-Up. And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than Dial-Up? Here's the deal. If you want super fast Internet without all the lag you get with DSL, switch to Earthlink from Time Warner Cable. See, Time Warner Cable has this advanced fiber network, so with it, Earthlink is 13 times faster than DSL. 13 times. That's huge. Seriously, getting Earthlink for your internet service is such a no-brainer. Pick up the phone and call them 1-800-CABLE-TV to get Earthlink from Time Warner Cable for only $36.95 a month. That's 1-800-CABLE-TV or go to timewarnercable.com anytime. Some restrictions apply. Hey, Jack, sorry to bug you.

1:25:58I don't usually get your car serviced. Same place I told you yesterday, Lisa. Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Thanks. Oh, hi, Molly. You bought a Toyota, right? Yeah, from Toyota Carlsbad. Where do you get it serviced? At Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Ooh, Billy, where... Where everyone else goes, Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Sorry, but getting your car serviced right the first time is a big deal. That's why we all go to Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Master trained service technicians. Genuine Toyota parts. And it's the largest Toyota authorized service... Facility in San Diego County. Well, I guess my choice is clear. Good. Going back to work now. Shipping. This is Doug. Doug, where do you get your car? Stop it. Working. Toyota Carlsbad. Toyota owners now get a synthetic oil change starting at $49.95 plus tax and hazardous material fee. Text TOYOTASERVICE48696 for more specials. Visit Toyota Carlsbad New Parts and Service Center today, west of I-5 on Avenida Encinas, Carlsbad. See us online at toyotacarlsbad.com. March 26th. We're deep into the land of the polar bear, and our expedition is young, but we've gained a lifetime of memories already. Though there is a gentle creature in a fragile environment, the journeys seem like 20 feet to their closure. There is much to see here, like the depleting ice strips, which we crossed with ease. The children love learning about the polar bear's story and don't seem to be tiring as much as usual. Even my husband is showing a level of interest he typically reserves only for sports and crime shows.

1:27:33Mom, why are you shouting like that? We're right here. I don't know, honey. It just sounds better when I say things like this. If you can hear me, this is an experience not to be missed. Take an expedition for the whole family at the San Diego Zoo's new Polar Bear Plunge. Explore their Arctic habitat and discover all there is to know about the fascinating world of the polar bears. For details, visit SanDiegoZoo.org. Hi, this is Mike Puckett from HalfPriceSanDiego.com, and Walgreens has partnered up with us this week to help you out for Easter. Walgreens is the perfect place for all your last-minute needs, from Easter baskets and candy, as well as toys to make this Easter unforgettable for the little ones. Walgreens has it all and extremely convenient. Walgreens, your Easter shopping headquarters. And HalfPriceSanDiego.com is excited to have the Healing Arts Massage and Wellness Center in Pacific Beach back on. This March, it's massage madness. Where else can you get a one-hour massage for $22.50? Only at Healing Arts Massage and Wellness Center in Pacific Beach and only at HalfPriceSanDiego.com.

1:28:31And spring break is here, so you know it's time to get geared up at Surfride Board Shop at Oceanside and Solana Beach. From the ocean to the streets, Surfride's vision is to get everyone as stoked on riding the elements as I am. Visit either the Solana Beach or Oceanside Surfride location and online at surfride.com for all your surfing and skateboarding needs. Surfride, still course in 74. Register today and get our weekly emails. It's a win-win. If there were 100 kids in our town, we'd need about five teachers to teach them. If the following year there were a lot more kids, we'd need a lot more teachers. But if we didn't answer the census, we wouldn't know how much we've grown. We'd still have five teachers who were short on books, short on desks, and very long. Unpatience. Answer the census. It's how we get our fair share of funding for the things we need.

1:29:16Look for the census in your mail today. We can't move forward until you mail it back. 2010 Census. It's in our hands. 2010census.gov. Paid for by U.S. Census Bureau. Nothing. Every opportunity in front of you. The world's forward-thinking companies behind you. The Pacific Ocean beside you. Nothing standing between you. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. This report is brought to you by McDonald's. Try McDonald's new sweet blended ice frappes made with a hint of coffee topped with real whipped cream. Your day just got a little cooler and a whole lot sweeter. New frappes now at McDonald's. On the 5 northbound after Balboa Avenue, it's a three-car accident. Two tow trucks have been called. Looks like you're going to be delayed in that area. Also, Escondido, a problem here on the 15 southbound before Via Rancho Parkway. Another three-car accident, one in the center divider, two on the right shoulder. Lots of center divider action this morning due to the wet roads. Northbound Bernardo Center Drive, another car spun out, hit another car. They're on the right shoulder, and they're both waiting for a tow truck. This report brought to you by Walgreens. This Easter, create the perfect basket at Walgreens where you can find all your favorite candy and treats, plus some unique items that make it personal. Walgreens, there's a way to make everybody happy. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's the hat?

1:30:38This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report brought to you, of course, by Guayaki Yerba Mate. Reduce your carbon footprint by a drinky Guayaki Yerba Mate. Be Guayaki. Surf-wise today, looking kind of messy out there. We've got a west-northwest wind-groundsville combination, a little southwest underlying that. Decent size to be sure. Chest, shoulder, head-eye plus, maybe even some overhead sets. But looking pretty stormy as we've got some mixed up conditions with variable onshore winds, a lot of residual wind bump from yesterday, strong west winds, overcast skies, some rain, and dirty waters. So not much more I can tell you than it's a mess. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops, five locations, or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaquil, your mate, be Guayaquil. and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick fries. Woods. I don't know what my point is on that, but I just felt like saying it. Okay? Lauren. I wash my hands like a thousand times. I do too. I love salami. And Jay. I was the guy I voted most likely to snap on FM 94.9. You're laughing.

1:32:16I just remembered something that happened over the weekend. It has to do with this song. With Blinded by the Light? Yeah, you know it. What is it? You want me to tell you a story right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, I was at my house over the weekend with my husband and his daughter, my stepdaughter, and my dad was over too. And the song comes on. We're all just listening to the radio. And Jenna, my eight-year-old stepdaughter, says, what's a douche? Oh, no. Because it says, wrapped up like a deuce. And we were talking about the song. Right. And she's, what's a douche? How did it come up? We were just talking about the song, and Todd was like, oh, he says deuce there, right? My dad's like, yeah, I think he says deuce. It's kind of hard to understand, though. It's one of those songs that's like, what did he say? Did somebody think he said douche, and somebody thought he said deuce? Yeah. I always thought it was douche. I thought it was, he says douche. He played again? No, it's a douche. Douche. Yeah. Let's hear it again. We're going to have to start it, and then play it all the way through. But yeah, I think maybe, I always thought that's what it was. In the lyrics, it says deuce.

1:33:23But he says douche. It's douche. Douche. Oh, yeah. Listen. I think what happened by the light, wrapped up like a douche. Douche. It's just douche. He does. He doesn't even say. He's like rake up like a douche. Wrapped up like a douche. Well, it sure sounds like he's saying raked up like a douche. It's just one of those things. Ah, totally. So what's a douche anyway? He's wrapping his deuce. I don't know what it is. I was like, thought of like the peace sign, throwing up the deuce. Isn't it a... I have no idea. Isn't it a carburetor on a Volkswagen? Just make up anything. I don't know if I can say that on the air. You probably can't. But it was very awkward. Yeah, I think what happened was Todd was like, guys, sounds like he says douche there. My dad's like, I know, I think it's douche though. And they're like, I still don't know what that means. And Jenna says, what does douche mean? A blunt? No, I don't think it's a blunt. Isn't that another name? I don't know that they smoke blunts in the 70s. I thought he was throwing dice, wrapped up like a douche, a douche, another roller in the night. There's a douche, like snake eyes. Jay, I'm going to need you to get Manfred Mann on the phone. Yeah, I got you right here. Manfred Mann, hello, this is Manfred Mann.

1:34:41Hey, Manfred. Hi. We just want to clear this up. Is it douche or deuce? It's douche. It is? Yeah. Wow, that's weird. D-E-U-C-E. Douche. No, it's pronounced douche. That's what I said, douche. No, but douche. D-E-U-C-E. Douche. Yeah, you're pronouncing the word douche. Wrap it up like douche. It sounds like douche. I used to think that was Billy Joel, Manfred. Yeah, it really does. No, it's me, Manfred Mann. Wow. Oh, yes. It was very awkward. I just looked at her and I was like, yeah, deuce, deuce. It's just deuce. It's deuce. I'll give you $100. You can name one other song by me. Then you just won $100. Yeah, exactly. For sure. Man, I'm telling you, kids will ask you stuff. Oh, man. That will make you go. All of us just froze, you know, looked at each other. And I was like, oh, no, he said deuce, deuce, you know, like deuce. Yeah. And then she was like, deuce. And then that didn't sound weird to her, so she didn't care to ask anymore. Thank God. I have a story. Oh, boy. The hands are over the face. The hands are over the face again. You know it's going to be good. Well, hands are over the face because I'm like, do I tell this story or do I tell another story that I make up real quick? I love when your stories start with your hands over your face because I know it's going to be good. I feel myself blushing right now.

1:36:05I am. You look like a little chili pepper. Why has it got to be little? Little, tiny, chili pepper. A huge chili pepper. Is it something that Jake said? Yeah, of course it is. Can we just open the phones right now? If your kid said something like that made you, oh, you know, please call 5701949. We had some people over and daddy excused himself for a moment to go upstairs. Uh-huh. Did you get on your laptop naked? No. It wasn't for naked laptop time? No one understands that. I lay in my bed with no clothes on. In the afternoon? When company's over. My laptop. No big deal. They're downstairs. He's upstairs. So he thinks it's okay. I live by myself and I wear a robe. Please. Okay, pal? Just a J-I-C.

1:37:01Just in case. Just in case. We had company over that I was visiting with, not that I was upstairs in my own private time. But what if one of them came up to say, oh, Mike, you're missing the birthday cake. Really? Well, I didn't go upstairs to get in bed. What did you go upstairs to do? I went upstairs to go to the restroom. Oh, God. You have a bathroom downstairs, though. A couple, actually. Yeah, you do have a couple bathrooms downstairs. I needed some privacy. You had some paperwork. You had a lot of paperwork to file. I had some paperwork to take care of. You needed to wrap it up like a deuce. Must have just eaten hoedad's. Kid filed some papers yesterday. Okay, anyway. That is so gross. I was dying. We were all there with you, and we don't need to know that. Yeah, I don't want to think about it. I was dying. I don't want to associate the deliciousness with filing papers. So I went upstairs and Jake often follows. It happens. Yep. And, you know, I came back downstairs to meet with our company and he came back downstairs and he. Was he just sitting outside the door? Yeah. He just plays and, you know, plays. Daddy, daddy. Yeah.

1:38:14Get. So he comes. That's cute. That's what it sounds like, basically. That's what they do. They just want to hang out with you. They just want to hang out outside the door. If you would let him, he would come in. That's what he does. Get. Get. You can't tell your three-year-old angel son to get. I don't. I go, son. He's an angel. Daddy needs alone time. I go, son, don't knock on the door, okay? Daddy's going to the bathroom. So go on. Don't knock on the door. Get. That's what I'd be yelling. So I come back downstairs. He follows me and he goes, did daddy go poo-poo? Oh, in front of the company. No way. Daddy, did you go poo-poo? And I, oh, Mike. Dude, I'm telling you, man, I wanted to crawl into a conch shell and live there forever for the rest of my days. What did you say? Did you go, hey, hey? Let me tell you how embarrassing it was. Oh, this is going to make everyone's skin crawl. It was so embarrassing that no one laughed. Oh, no. It was one of those. And Rebecca was like, oh, you guys, blah, blah, blah. And, like, tried to change this up. Which is worse. Oh, it was so, like, your skin's crawling. Nobody laughed.

1:39:30No, because it was that embarrassing. Like, everybody noticed the embarrassment of it. I would have laughed. Like, they just felt, I would have, like, you have to laugh to break the awkwardness. It was so awkward. Is it worse, though, than when one guy goes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha has embarrassed you, the most awkward thing that your kid asks you. I'm just waiting for James. I know he has four kids. I have a couple, but one I've already told, but the one I haven't. Kim was at the grocery store, and we were waiting in line checking out, and I want to say it was Finnegan. She's there, and he's sitting in the cart, and he just kind of reaches up with both hands and goes, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, like he's tuning in to Tokyo. No! Because he was like, he was still breastfeeding at the time. How old was he? Tuning the radio. Tuning into Tokyo. Like one and a half, something like that. And everyone saw. Oh, everyone saw. And he was just like calm. And Kim just kind of went, both hands. Hello, Tokyo. Wow. I need some milk. Is this thing on? That's the worst. That is crazy. Bust him out. Oh, our phone lines are blowing up. Oh, you know it. Of course.

1:40:54570-1949. Keep it clean, people. Kids say the darndest things. Because the ones I've got, I can't repeat. I told you that story about how Todd was at TGI Fridays and had to file some paperwork in the bathroom. And our waiter walked in on Todd in the stall. Unbelievable. And then when the waiter came back to bring us food, Jenna, my stepdaughter, said, Dad, is that the guy that walked in on you? Oh, my gosh. It was the worst. By the way, we have the smartest listeners. In the world, a Deuce is a 1932 Ford Coupe. Why do you wrap that up? Well, wrapped means that it's revved real high.

1:41:38Oh, does he say revved up like a deuce? Maybe he says revved up like a deuce. Yes. Revved up like a deuce. That's it. Oh, that makes sense. So he's singing about racing a 1932 Ford. I had a deuce. I did. I had a deuce. Was that it, Manfred? That's right. Manfred. Thank you for clarifying that. We love your band. I revved it up. You revved up your deuce. Real good. M1 Toot is on the line. Yes, really? Hi, Toot. Yeah, I didn't want to pick that name. Okay, so my daughter's about six for a pier one. Mom had a giant feast with some friends at a Mexican restaurant the night four. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, and so we're at the counter, and I told her, we got to go, babe. I got to go to the bathroom. I got to go to the bathroom. She goes to the sales clerk. My mom farts a lot. Wow. That's so much worse because she's a girl. Oh, wow. About six months later, we go in there and she remembered. I didn't, but she didn't. And she goes, do you remember when we came in here, mom? And I told the guy that you fart a lot. Oh, my God. Wow. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. My kids remember everything. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like she was revved up like a dude. Oh, wow. Wow.

1:42:55Counter worker's like, how you doing, Sir Farts-A-Lot? Nice to have you back. Hey, look who's here. It's Farty McFarterson. Yeah, my lady farts. How you doing? Let's see. M1 Christina. Hi, guys. How you doing? How you doing? Good job. Okay, so one time I was with my son at the car wash. He's eight years old. And he said, Mom, I have to go to the restroom. So it was one of those unisex restrooms. And he comes out and he says, Mom. I saw this machine in there. He says, it says napkins. Oh. Oh, no. Oh. Yeah, so I'm standing there, and I'm like, oh, right. And he's like, well, I don't get it. It says 25 cents. He says, do you have to pay for napkins? Oh, no. Oh, gosh. Yeah, so then. Yes, son, sometimes you do. Yeah. Yeah, son. Yeah, so I just said, you know, it's something that women need sometimes. I said, it's just something for women. And he goes, oh. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

1:44:17Well, I'm 34, almost 35, and I still don't know what they're for. No idea. I have no idea how it works. I have no idea what it means. I can tell you. I don't want to know. Let's not go there. We have to tell Jake enough about the potty, son. We don't need to hear it anymore. He loves the potty. They love the potty. He loves the potty. He loves, you know, right now. He's a big boy. He's feeling like a big boy. He's feeling like a big boy, and he's used to going to the circle potty. Yep. The circle potty is the female bathroom. That's where it has to always go with mommy because it's got a circle and it's the female. Okay, well, the triangle potty is the one with the triangle and it says men. I never even noticed. It's always a triangle. I didn't either. And I heard him saying, you know. Daddy's going to take me to the triangle potty. And I'm like, yeah, son. I'll take you to the plaid potty, too. Where are the shapes? On the door. On the door. Yeah. Well, the women's sign is a circle, and it has a woman figure in it. It says women. And then the men's is a triangle. It has a man in it. It's the signal. Yeah. And it says men. I thought you meant the shape of the bowl. You didn't know that we urinate in triangles? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have to tell them to stop talking about it? And here's the woman.

1:45:29Aww. Yeah. That's how he's reading? No, he can read. See? That's it. That's the woman. That is cute. You're right. How did you guys figure that out? Well, she said, you know, he pointed. Oh, he pointed. The triangle. And he knows that he always has to go to the triangle one. He goes to the circle. The circle one. Right. I just remembered a really good one. What? I was in the car one time with my dad and my sister. And at this point, my youngest sister was just learning to read. She was like first grade or something. Uh-huh. And we were driving along and my sister goes, Dad, what are Hooters? Oh, wow. Because we do buy a Hooters restaurant. What are Hooters? They're owls. And my dad, he's so cute. He like explained what they really were. Oh, wow. They call them cans, Waverly. Yeah. That's what they really call them. He's like, well, hon. Look at your sister, Sienna. She's got them. That's right. I was like, dad. But there is an owl as part of the logo. Yeah. It's their bit. M1. My dad wasn't that quick. M1 Pam. Hi, it's M1 Sam. M1 Sam. Sam, go ahead.

1:46:36My daughter was about two and a half. I actually have twins, so it's just one of the two. We're in the produce section at the grocery store, and this nice little old lady comes up because she just thinks they're so cute. And my daughter pops off with, my daddy doesn't live with us anymore because he drinks too much licorice. Oh, my God. Too much licorice. Licorice. Too much licorice. Oh, cute. I was mortified. Oh, my. That's right. He has too much good and plenty. That's right. They definitely listen to everything you say. Be careful. Everything. What did you say? Well, she probably overheard me on the phone talking to a friend or something while they're playing in the room. No, no, no, no. I mean, what did you say at the moment that she said that? Did you respond? Did you go, oh, that's enough, darling? I was embarrassed, and the lady just looked at me and said, oh, out of the mouths of babes, and then she headed on down the aisle. Oh, wow. That's right. Unbelievable. M1 Scott's got a pretty classic one. Go ahead, Scott. Yeah, we're on a plane flying back from San Diego to Detroit, and there's kind of a heavyset guy in the seat, and my son walks up to him and says, hey, look, Daddy, he's fat. And the guy kind of did a...

1:48:00That happens a lot. Like, ha-ha, you know, like, oh, that's not very funny. And then we ended up sitting right next to the guy, the whole fly track. No way. It's the worst. That happens a lot. And it's just like, because they're learning what that is, you know? Sure. And so they're like, look. And they're, like, testing their knowledge. And, dude, I'm telling you, like, we have Jake watches the, uh, Jake watches, uh, uh. Thomas the Train. Yeah. You ever seen Thomas the Train? Of course, Mike. Thomas the Train has a character called the Fat Engine Man or something. Yeah. It's a British show, right? And they've got a character, and I can't remember what he is exactly, but he's like the fat something. Is it like a fat train? I don't remember the fat character. No, no, no. It's like he's a guy that's like the... like the train switcher man or something i don't know what he is but he's something conductor yeah like that it's something like that and it's like the fact i think it's the fat conductor oh no and he is he's like a portly little conductor guy and they're like this is the and they're and they're introducing everybody they're like thomas you know whoever whoever the fat conductor and i'm like and rebecca goes so our little kid's gonna be like

1:49:16oh, that's what a fat person is. And then they're going to be like, oh, you know, you're the fat grocery store worker. You're like the fat conductor. Yeah, you must be the fat mailman. I'm so surprised that they have a character like that. Yeah, it's called the fat, I think it's a fat conductor. It's British. It's British. Yeah, but it's on here on what, PBS? Yeah. And kids love it. But you know how sometimes, man, it gets long. Wow. Do those things a little bit differently, you know what I'm saying? Let's see, M1 Melissa. Melissa, you there? Yes, I'm here. Hi, everyone. My family and I were coming back from a trip from Mammoth, and we stopped off at a gas station. And in this gas station, there was a very long hallway. And my daughter at the time was three. We had been in the car for quite a few hours, was tired of being cramped up and was running up and down the hallway. And as she was doing that, she lost her balance and fell into...

1:50:13the door which opened up the men's bathroom oh no oh yes the gentleman forgot to lock the door because there's only one toilet in the bathroom when the door opened he was sitting there with his pants down to his ankles and my daughter said mommy what's he doing and i looked up Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. And immediately looked down and said, we didn't see anything. We didn't see anything. Oh, my gosh. And closed the door. But I tell you what, I laughed for a good 30 minutes. Of course. I bet you did. Yeah. There's nothing more awkward than that. Oh, my gosh. Thank you very much. Classic. M1 Jakey's teacher? Yes, I am. Hello. Do you mean my Jakey? Yeah. Wow. Who is this? This is Andrea. Andrea. It's Miss Andrea. It's Miss Andrea. She is the cookie. He loves Miss Andrea. Nice. What's going on? Jakey had to have said something good. I have a story about a friend of mine went to the grocery store with her. She has five kids, but the youngest daughter, when they were walking by where the checkout stand is, there was kind of a larger lady. And this youngest daughter smacked this lady in the butt and went, ooh, jiggly. No way!

1:51:28Jiggly. No way. That is winner, top winner. Chicken dinner. Yeah. Wow. Ooh, jiggly. Ooh, jiggly. That's the best one. Wow. By far. Thank you, Miss Andrea. No problem. We'll see you. I thought she was going to have one with Jake. Let me tell you, Jake loves him some Miss Andrea. He prays for her every night. He does. Cutest thing in the world. So cute. I can't wait until I get in the rotation. I know. I'm like, Jake. You guys can play football with him. You'll get in there. Oh, my gosh. He loves him some Uncle Steve. Yeah, he does. This is music that's been picked by our boy Woods. Black Keys, Strange Times. Oh, we didn't even get to the Jay thing. I forgot. Speaking of kids. Yeah, I know. We didn't even get to the Jay thing. Well, I told you, he's got kids that go from 7 to 21, and it's actually the 21-year-old that's going to kill him when I tell this story. Uh-oh. And I want to know if other 21 and ups do this. We'll tell you about it coming back. Oh, oh, also, Judge Joe Brown. He laughed in somebody's face because of their name. He couldn't help it. I can't wait. Play it next.

1:52:57Part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. There's a bunch of good shows right in the middle of April, like Cheap Trick at the Belly Up April 14th, A Place to Bury Strangers with the Big Pink at the cast by April 15th, and the sold-out Edward Sharp of the Magnetic Zeros show, also April 15th. CS Playing House of Blues April 19th and Transfer will play the belly up on Thursday, April 29th. And just announced Green Day. They're coming to Cricket Wireless with AFI. That show Thursday, September 2nd. Tickets go on sale this Friday the 2nd at noon. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar.

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1:58:57Find out. Caesar. Hey, Caesar Gonzalez. I went by Mama Testas and the corn tortillas. They're the way to go. Tell me about the Yucatecos. We take pork. We marinate it for 24 hours in anato paste and orange juice. Then we wrap it up in roasted banana leaves and we steam it for six more hours. Tender pork, sweet, sour, and spicy all at the same time. That sounds yummy, Chico. Tell me about the Mojaros de Carne. Mojaros de Carne, dude? Their roll tacos are Guerrero style. They're serving a spicy beef broth. If you have one too many brewskis, they're the cure for the hangover, bro. Okay, now, Flavio, tell me how you beat that Bobby Flay guy from the food. network. Bobby Flay, he challenged me to a fish taco throwdown. But did you win? Get on that way. I'm Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa. Of course I won. If he challenged me to a cabbage and potato soup, he would have had a chance. Hey, jefe, you're here legally. Listen, Sancho. On Mama Testa, we do everything you can do to the taco. We fry them, we steam them, we grill them, we stew them. Come into Mama Testa and I will show you authentic Mexican food like you never tested, Pedro de Maíz. Mama Testa Taqueria, University Avenue and Richmond in Hillcrest. Mama Testa is my one-stop shop for real Mexican food. See you later. Ay, ay, ay. Why have I done? Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply.

2:00:12Well, it looks like we've got lots of action on the freeways this morning. This report is brought to you by Official Payments. On tax day, don't wait in line at the post office. Go online at home. Use your Visa card. You can pay your taxes online on time through Official Payments. It's fast, easy, and secure. Certain fees and restrictions apply. Visit OfficialPayments.com forward slash Visa. The 805 northbound after Claremont Mesa Boulevard, an accident pickup truck versus a car. This pickup truck landed on top of another car. The number three lanes block, of course, an ambulance is on the scene here. Then there's another. Another incident here on the 163 northbound after Washington Street. It's a couple pedestrians. A car is blocking lanes right now. Somebody was setting out fire flares, fire personnel, and somebody hit him. So the fire department is requesting to shut down northbound 163 at Robinson. They have transported this guy from the scene. Also, we have the five northbound ramp to Carmel Mountain Road, an overturned car, a pickup truck on the right shoulder of that off ramp. Somebody's out walking around, and a tow truck scene is clearing it. Tow truck is clearing the scene, not the scene. You know what I mean. This report brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper is guaranteed to be 99.99% jam-free. Don't you wish traffic was? Hammer Mill Paper.

2:01:20No worries. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. The Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. My name's Mikey. I'm the host of The Mikey Show, and Woodsy's our boy over there. He's that handsome fella that's over six feet tall with the glasses on right now. Pepper O'Brien is, she used to be named Lauren O'Brien. She still is. Is she? And she is now known as Pepper. The reason is because One time. One time. She claims that she had pepper in her teeth even though none of us saw it. Nope. She was a little irritated with us for not telling her about it. Of course, we would have had to have seen it. Right. We were going to tell her about it. I would have told you if I'd seen it. Me too. I would have allowed it. So from that point on, she's been known as Pepper. She didn't think it would stick. No. In fact, she said, which was to her demise. To her demise. She said in an email, it'll never stick, which meant,

2:02:39You guys were going to make it stick. There was no way in the world that it would not stick at that point. Like spaghetti on a wall. It's stuck just like the pepper on your teeth. That's right. A little bit later on, we're going to tell you about the big news today because there's a picture that got out of Jesse James doing a Nazi, like, Nazi thing. With an SS hat on, by the way. I mean, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, grow up, Peter Pan. Grow up, Pete. I just go to Pete now. Yeah. Just come on, Pete. Let's go, Pete. Jesus. So the, did I introduce? Oh, I said me. I said Woodsy. Pepper O'Brien. We got Sienna Richards, who is now Sienna Farrar. And with child, little girl. Yeah. Don't know what we're going to name her yet. And I say we, because we're all going to name her. You're all part of the family. That's right. You have a say. And Jay is our producer. He is the 46-year-old guy in the other room that don't look 46. He looks a lot younger than that. Woo-hoo. And he's got kids that rage in age from 7 to 21 years old. The oldest is Maddie. She's 21. And I read something in his recap that surprised me. And that is that all of his kids still hunt for Easter eggs. Nice. On Easter. Yep, they sure do. Sienna.

2:04:05This may be the first year that I stop because I'm married. Really? My mom asked me, do you still want to hunt? And it was a really hard decision. But I was like, I think she'll still hide a couple for me. Woods? You realize the kid's coming over for brunch. You could make room for one more, right? Oh, yeah. Get your basket. You're ready. Wow. It's fun. Especially like when you have a gold egg or something like that. There's money in it. Oh, yeah. And you hide it really, really hard. My mom used to put $500 in our eggs. Growing up in the oil. Actually, just pieces of gold. There's a yard man in one of the eggs. It's literally a gold egg. Right. It was an actual gold Fabergé egg. There's a 20 in there. Exactly. That's what we do. You know? So you're like, I want that 20. $20,000 jacket. His diamonds filled with the gold egg. Mom, I haven't found the diamond egg yet. What the hell? She's like, well, I hit it really hard, Sienna. Look for the glisten. That's fantastic. So what you're saying, Jay, is that the Easter Bunny still stops by your house even for your 21-year-olds. Yep, for all the kids. He comes by and there's...

2:05:15It puts money in eggs, so it keeps it interesting for the older kids as well. Really? So up to a 20, but there's ones and there's fives. So it's very competitive. And you realize the kid is coming over. I'm going to reiterate. I can't wait. Wait a minute. What? There's room for you at the table, but not in the yard. I'm hunting eggs. Oh, yeah. Still the Easter Bunny. He's going to ruin it. You're going to steal money from Jay's kids. Yeah, he's going to get 100%. He'll get the easy to find ones first. He'll be, like, pushing them out of the way. No, I know what I'm going to do. If Jay doesn't mind, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to team up with Jasper. There you go. He needs help. It's going to be Woods and Jasper against the rest of the clowns, and we're going to go get them. And we're going to win. He's pretty fast. You might want to start getting some exercise now. I'm ready, dude. Do you have rules, though? Like each kid is only allowed a certain amount of eggs? You know, they're pretty good. They're pretty good. And usually what we do with Jasper, when he gets money, he shares it, and then they give him candy. He's such a sweetheart. Oh, see, not in my house. Yeah. My mom. We're talking about gold bullion. My mom made sure to talk to the Easter Bunny, and the Easter Bunny.

2:06:17has a certain amount of eggs for each child. Yeah, for sure. So if you get to your maximum, you have to stop. You can look, but you can't say where it is. Last year, it was gold cougarans from South Africa, which was even better because they were worth more. I found a BMW in the hedge from two Easter's ago. I didn't know this was here. I didn't find it. So it's a brand new 328i. I was stoked when I found that beaver. Now, call us right now, 570-1949 or text us 949- Mikey at gmail.com. I want to know, do you do this? You're in your 20s and you do this. You participate in Easter Bunny shenanigans. Easter Bunny, I'm going to need some car seats. I'm going to need strollers. Stuff them in those eggs. My wife got so irritated at me last night because I fixed something with Jake that she thought was so cute. And she's like, oh, oh. What did you do, dude? We were telling him that the Easter Bunny's coming, right? Uh-huh. We were telling him how the Easter bunny will leave eggs and that the eggs, some of the eggs will have chocolate in them. Right? And he got all excited. And as he says, and as I've heard him say a million times, he says, oh, yeah, he gets to have chocolate. Oh. Chocolate. You changed it. You said, hey, bud. I said, buddy, it's chocolate. Chocolate. And he went, chocolate. And I went, yeah.

2:07:46And he goes, chocolate. And she was like, no. She loved chocolate. Chocolate, dude. It's great. I know. Are you guys putting pesos in eggs this year? Well, the Easter bunny. Mexican jumping beans. Mexican jumping beans. Yeah. Well, because of our heritage, we've decided that this year we're going to put actual sombreros in each egg. It's huevos. Les huevos. Yeah. In each little egg. In each little huevo. We'll put a sombrero in the huevos. Right. Come on now. We have to go look for our huevos. Yeah, you're 10 pesos. Cool. That's worth a nickel, pal. That's great. Enjoy. You can buy one chiclet. I love Easter. Well, that makes one of us. You guys. I am such a scrooge. You guys will find. Really? On all holidays? I didn't really.

2:08:44A lot of this stuff, I didn't really do a lot of this stuff. Or at least I don't remember doing a lot of this stuff. You did. I'm telling you, man. I don't remember looking for eggs. Maybe once. Easter was my least favorite holiday when I was a kid. I always loved Easter. Dude, I had the dumbest. I always had, you know, with the green plastic grass. Yeah. Love it. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, for sure. What do you mean? In the basket? She's like, we had woven gold strands in the basket. That's what you put in there. That is what you put in there. And then the peeps would like melt into it. Peeps are delicious. No, the peeps are individually wrapped. Haven't they come along to where there's not plastic? Green grass. Why? That's the bit. It's, yeah. That's the bit. It doesn't bother me. It's got to be something that's better than that, man. Yeah. I think I have an Easter FedEx at the front desk for my mom today, and I'm 34 years old. Are you for real? Dead serious. I love that. It's at the front desk. She doesn't trust my apartment, so she sends everything here. I want to be that mom, you know? Forever. I'm going to send a subliminal message to my wife. I really used to like it when she used to give me an Easter basket.

2:09:52It was subliminal. What did she put in your Easter basket? Oh, I loved it. I loved it. Moisturizer, oils. You know what? You. How dare you. How dare you. Todd's at work now, so I can tell you he's going to get a little bit of a basket. Are you really? That's awesome. What about Matt? Dude. Do we even have to ask? Are you kidding me? But that's normal. I'm the weird one. She's giving you the Manson lamps. Is Matt getting anything for Easter? No, I'm not getting anything either. I told you I haven't celebrated Easter in like five years. Yeah. You know what Matt will get? Matt will get... A big kiss. A kiss in the morning. Why would he... Why would I give him an Easter present? What did he do to... Eject. You are... Eject. Eject. Eject. You are... I am what? You are about to get a thermometer inserted into your heart so that I can see how cold it actually is. Why would you give a grown man a bunch of chocolate bunnies and marshmallows? Eject, dude. I know, like Todd, he loves the Reese's...

2:11:07Eggs. Oh, my God, I do, too. Oh, I bet Matt does, too. He goes in there. He has a mom. Pepper. His mom can send him an Easter bath. Pepper. Maybe, like, a new little, like, some new socks. He loves socks. That's a Christmas gift. Who gets gifts on Easter? We all do. The United States of America. Gifts? Yes. You got gifts. Basket. A basket. My basket had, like, peeps. I'm going to teach you. I'm going to teach you. chocolate, that stupid grass. Like gross, gross candy. You know, the kind of grass that's going to end up choking a dolphin. Yes, exactly. Oh my. Lauren, you go, you get a basket. A card. I know, I'm not. That's a waste of money and a bunch of junk. What are you going to do with a basket afterwards? Picking a man's pocket every 25th of December, right? Is that the deal? Here's what you do. You get a basket, okay? You get a loving card. You get a loving card. Not going to happen. You put in some cute little jelly beans. Jelly beans. Oh, jelly beans are delicious. You guys don't eat junk food at home, so maybe indulge him a little on that day. Yeah, indulge. A little chocolate bunny. I'd be hypocritical. I don't celebrate Easter. I don't. I bet you a million dollars he gets her a little card or something.

2:12:21He better. We've been together for a couple years. We don't celebrate Easter together. Now that he's listening, he's on his way to the store. I hope so. When she said that, by the way, head, turn to the side. And bobbing. And bobbing, as she said it. That eject button. I'm telling you. I want out of here. She's so mad. Careful, Mikey. Look, she's got the bliss. I already told you guys yesterday, the Easter Bunny doesn't visit me anymore. I'm too big. So are all of you. It's weird. He visits me. Perhaps. It would be nice. Right, because I've been a good boy. Tell you what we'll do. Tell you what we'll do. What did he say? Probably because I've been a good boy. That's right. He was a good boy. You know what? Maybe Matt has too. He still believes. Maybe we write a letter to the Easter Bunny about Matt. Yeah. Tell the Easter Bunny where Matt lives. Hop on by. Yeah. She's done. She's out. Hey, dear EB. You know, that's what we're writing. Dear EB. We got a guy that we want to tell you about. You guys are painting this picture like he's a victim that is like secretly just yearning for an Easter basket. He doesn't care either. We don't care. It's not like he would say no thanks if you gave it to him, though. That's correct. He is actually limiting his sugar intake right now. Oh, is that right? Yep. Well, he's not limiting his love intake.

2:13:44It's a holiday. Oh, because I go spend money on plastic things that mean love. Eject the freaking, hit the button, dude. Wow. Yeah, you guys brought it up. Hit the button. Come on. Hit the button. How does that make me crazy? Mikey. Yeah. The tiger that you're poking, the teeth are coming out. I'm not mad. They're bloodstained teeth. I'm just saying, the poor guy. It's Easter. Call him up. I guarantee you 120%. He does not care. And you don't think he wants it? No. Don't want it. Won't open it. Don't need it. Won't take it. I disagree with you, Matt. I think you would. Don't want it. Won't open it. Don't need it. Won't take it. I think you will take it. I think you'll love it, and I think you would think it was the greatest thing ever. Don't want it. Won't open it. Don't need it. Won't take it. It hasn't been a couple years. Last year, I celebrated Easter with his niece, and his mom was in town, and we all, we dyed eggs together. Wow. It's great. That sounded like the worst experience of her life. No, it was great. No, it sounds great. What was it? We died in. It was great. Yeah, it was great. Mm-hmm. It sounds like it was the time of your life. It was. It's really a sign of when your relationship is flourishing. I got to say things are getting pretty serious. What if you whipped up, like, some deviled eggs? Ugh. Jay, you guys going to have any deviled eggs over there? We'll have them at my house, Woods. You know it.

2:15:08We're going to have all kinds of deviled eggs. Oh, my God. I cannot. Wait. Deviled eggs, poppers. I'm giddy. Oh, so much food. I'm giddy. I'm giddy. I'm giddy. Mikey, did you not say that you were the Grinch when it came to this stuff? How did this conversation turn to me not getting a basket for a grown man? Well, because I was just sharing how much a basket to this grown man would mean. Didn't you say you were the Grinch? I am the Grinch. But when he gets a basket, it shows him up. But when I get a basket, I love it. I love it a lot. I didn't, you know. Different strokes. Yeah. I was joking, really. What's the matter with you people? I was joking. You didn't make a joke, really. Don't you know a joke when you hear one? You know, but, uh, no, listen, maybe we don't write the EB, you know? Maybe we don't. I'm feeling a little like an idiot. Maybe like I did this one. Idiot. Oh, there was four people laughing on the show. I think you hit that one out of the park. Well, okay. So, did you guys see about Jesse James? No. Have you guys heard about him? Yeah. So, it's April Fool's Day. Happy April Fool's. Tomorrow's Friday. Like, um, I just, like, um, like, um, like, um, like, um, like, um, like, um. That's what I was saying. I just want to know where the gold's at, dude. M1 Rob, are you there? Yes. Go ahead. All right. So, Easter egg hunting is so big with me and my little brother, we get so confused.

2:16:43How old are you? How old are you? I'm 20. Nice. And he gets violent. That was me. Weird. He gets violent. He's 10 years old. He'll jump on my back. He'll claw me and stuff. He gets into it. That's awesome. And then I start getting into it. That's awesome. Man. Pepper's flair. I've cried. That's the reason for the season. That's right. Oh, yeah. Because we got those golden eggs, too. You know, we want to get the money. 570-1949. Thank you for the call. Maybe we invite Pepper and Matt over to do some Easter egg hunting as well. You guys are all welcome to come to our house. I want to know where to go. I want to go. Give me the gold. I want to go. For goodness sake. Everyone wants the gold on Easter. Let's see. Text messages on the matter. This text message from M1 Ryan says, Mikey, I would be more than willing. To get together with Pepper later. And teach her how to make a proper basket. I don't want a basket. Easter is for kids. It's great for kids. It's great. Last year I witnessed an Easter egg hunt with Matt's niece and all of her friends. It was...

2:17:58It was adorable. What about Valentine's Day? I hid eggs. I forgot about that. What happened on Valentine's Day? I hid eggs. That's for kids. Valentine's Day is a commercial holiday. Oh, my God. Matt didn't get anything on Valentine's Day. Hey, Lauren. Yes? So when the Easter Bunny came, he hid the eggs? What's that? At your house? The Easter Bunny came and hid? Yeah, the Easter Bunny did it first, and then we did our own version. Oh, you redid it? Oh, yeah, we did that, too. We did our own version of it. Yeah. Maybe this is, you know, maybe you don't need to then. Thank you, not necessary, and thus not accepted. Fine. But I think you would accept it. I think I'm very accepting. Everybody likes a little treat here and there. M1 Joe? Yes. What were you? How old are you, first of all? I'm 23. And you still do this? Yeah, my family still badgers me into dying every year. Don't say that. You secretly love it. You like it. Well, I wish it was that easy. I actually tried to get a plane to St. Louis for this Easter, but I had to wait two weeks because I couldn't afford the ticket, so I'm still stuck.

2:18:57There you go. Did you dye them on your own? No, absolutely not. We all get together at my grandma's house. I'm pretty much drunk and end up hiding in the gun. You guys should see my creations in my house. I have little candles around. Our lake house looks like the Easter Bunny's lair. Oh, I forgot I have some decorations. My mom sends them to me every year. She does? I do have some. Yeah, I should put them out. It's coming soon, huh? What's today? Thursday? In like two days. I didn't say anything. I'm not mad. I didn't. This was uncomfortable. Why is that uncomfortable? You're making it un... I didn't even... I didn't say a word about her baking the basket anymore. I dropped the subject. I dropped it. I love you, Pep. I'm crazy. Pep. She looks unhappy. Well, yeah, I didn't even... You have to break, Mike. I know. Jeez. Give me the break sign and everything. We're fools. I think I'm the rarest. For the big kid anymore. You'll have one today. Now I think you'll have one because you whined. My wife doesn't have enough to do. I now have her making me an adult Easter basket. She's like got both twins. I know it. She does. She's got like four baby Bjorns. I'm in one of them. Yeah.

2:20:23I'd like to take a page out of the kid's book and say, grow up, Peter Pan. That is a good point, but I still would want one. Easter's supposed to be fun. Why would a kid be threatened with suspension over a breast cancer bracelet? Why? Why? You know what I want to know? I want to know why Judge Brown started laughing at this guy. Yeah. And couldn't control it because of his name. I can't wait. We'll tell you next. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This weekend, while the kiddies hunt for eggs, you can fill your basket with amazing deals at Guitar Center. That's right. We're even open Easter Sunday with serious savings throughout the store. Like Ovation Acoustic Electrics, $100 off just $199. TASCAP handheld digital recorders, our lowest price ever, $99. It's Guitar Center's Easter weekend savings event.

2:21:50you'll find our deepest discount since Christmas time. Like complete sound percussion drum kits with hardware and cymbals. Now $1.99. Guitar Center's Easter weekend savings event. Don't miss it. Honda. Um, I think it should be bigger. Honda. No, no, bigger. Honda. You know, I think we can do better. Honda. Mmm, I don't think so. Can we just get a little bigger? Honda. There we go. Let's go with that one. There's a really big thing going on at your Honda dealer right now. It's called Honda's Really Big Thing Sales Event. There's this special lease deal on the 2010 Honda Accord, which ALG picked for having the highest resale value in its class. And if you think about it, high resale value means high quality. The kind that lasts a long time, even though these really special lease deals definitely won't. The point is, this Really Big Thing Sales Event is a great time to lease an Accord or a Civic, Insight, Fit, CR-V, Pilot Odyssey, or Ridgeline for that matter. Just go see your Honda dealer today. 2010 Accord, winner of the ALG Residual Value Award midsize car segment. See your Honda dealers of San Diego County today for all our latest offers. Your United States 2010 Census form may be on its way in the mail or may have arrived at your home along with your Uncle Fred. Good to see you. Cousin Ann. Hey, we're here. Her husband Matt. Hey. The twins. This is awesome. And their cat Fluffy.

2:23:12all who may be moving in with you because of situations beyond their control. So it's important when you fill out your 2010 census that everyone living in your household is counted, including family members or friends who have no other place to stay, as well as babies and foster children. The 2010 census provides benefits that really hit home, such as funding for job training and health care. So make sure everyone living in your home is included on your 2010 census form. Together, we can move forward when everyone living with you is counting. AT&T lets you build a bundle that's right for you with wireless voice service, digital home phone, internet, and TV services. Cable doesn't do that. AT&T lets you build a bundle that's right for you with wireless voice service, digital home phone, internet, and TV services. Cable doesn't do that. Hey, Lisa, AT&T lets us build a bundle and choose from home phone or wireless voice service for the same low price. Great, honey. And we get AT&T U-verse TV with DVR service that lets us record four shows at once. And high-speed internet from AT&T with blazing fast speeds. It's terrific. So, uh, I'm getting the AT&T bundle with wireless. Okay, Lisa? Wait, why don't we get the bundle with the home phone? Because with wireless, I'll have my own phone so your mom won't be calling every two minutes. Mother-in-law joke? Oh, no. Really? Funny, right? No.

2:24:51Way to go, big guy. Up high. Build an AT&T bundle starting at $99 a month with a one-year price guarantee. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT. Visit our stores or click att.com slash tv. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Call or go to att.com slash tv to see if you qualify. Taxes and other charges apply. One year term required for bundled universe services. Offering 71710 for details, visit att.com slash tv details. Now at the Home Depot, Scott's Naturescapes mulch is at a new lower price of only $3.88 a bag. Which is great for your wallet and your weekends. Because this is one mulch that keeps its color for an entire year. So now you can spend less time working in your garden and more time enjoying it. Now that Scott's Naturescapes mulch is just $3.88 a bag. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Call it in U.S. only. See store for details. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply.

2:25:57This report is brought to you by Advanced Auto Parts. Don't let a bad battery ruin your day. At Advanced Auto Parts, they offer free testing and installation for most cars with a battery purchase. Advanced Auto Parts, they'll help keep your wheels turning. Looks like the 163 northbound after Washington Street, an accident involving this pedestrian. A signal alert still issued here. All northbound lanes are shut down. They've got a couple cars blocking lanes. What happened was a fire personnel person was setting out flares and then somebody hit him. They've got a tow truck on the scene, and they are collecting evidence right now. On the 94 westbound ramp to the 15, an accident. This one's over on the right shoulder. Car going the wrong way on the transition. And the 78 westbound before the 5, we've got a car that's stuck. It's a box truck, actually, and it's in the number 2 lane. This report is also brought to you by Napa Auto Parts. Attention, all lawn motorists hurry to a participating Napa Auto Parts store in April. They've got their big spring battery sale Napa lawn and garden batteries as low as $22.49 with exchange, plus save an extra $5 after a mail-in rebate. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to look like Rerun. Woods kissed plenty of chubby girls in my day, pal. Lauren. One of the reasons I don't like paper plates.

2:27:07Wasteful. Zienna. My butts never looked tanner. And Jay. Howdy ho, neighbor. On FM 94.9. Interpol. The Heinrich Maneuver. I thought it was pronounced Heimlich, but... It is, but that's Heinrich. But they put Heinrich? No, they're talking about their buddy Heinrich. Oh, great. I know Heinrich. You do? Yes. He's in the band, right? He is not in the band. He was in the band, and then they kicked him out. Was he bad? He was very bad, Michael. You said that with a spry little smile on your face. That just kind of weirded me out. He was very bad. Heinrich. Now you're being serious again, so now I feel better. Sienna.

2:28:16is going to tell us all about the kid that was threatened with suspension because of a breast cancer bracelet. I'm going to take a guess. I don't know the story. Okay. I'm going to take a guess that the breast cancer bracelet was like some sort of boobs or something. Yeah. Of course it was. Yeah, it happened at a Florida school. It was like a $4 bracelet that the kid got for breast cancer. He's 14 years old, and he wore it to school. It read, I love boobies, keep a breast. Oh, that's a local organization, Lucadia. That's not really that bad, do you think? It's not. Was he doing it as a bit for his friends, or does he have a mother, sister, aunt? It doesn't say that. It just says that. I have a shirt that says that. Right. Todd has a shirt that says, I love boobies. And the love sign is a breast cancer ribbon as a heart. Guys, you're not following me here. Neither of you have ever been a 14-year-old boy. Yeah, I get what you're saying. But still, what if a 12-year-old girl did it? Would she have that taken away from him? Probably. No, I don't think so. My thought is, does it matter? Even if he was messing around, it's still getting the message out. Now, I wouldn't wear that, personally. For me, it's a little too much. But I also look at it and I go, well, you know.

2:29:28I don't think it's like indecent. No, I don't think it's indecent. He's in middle school. He probably was doing it for a bit. I was 14 and I would have been like, look at the bracelet I got. It's his boobs on it. Yeah. I'm like that now. Yeah, for sure. Please. Well, the teacher saw it, the little bracelet, and they took it away. They said that it looked sexual and that was why he was wearing it. And they gave it to him at the end of the day. And then he wore it again the next day. Wow. Maybe he does have somebody. You never know. Yeah, if he does, maybe he's trying to make a point. Like, hey, you can't stop me from supporting my aunt. Right, exactly. My mother, my sister, whatever. Yeah, so he said that he's not going to wear it anymore because now the school is still threatening to suspend him. Hey, by the way, I wanted to mention that M1 Sanjaya and his beautiful gal Rachel had their baby yesterday. So cute. Baby Dax. Baby Dax. Baby Dax. Baby Dax was born 10-21 yesterday and was 21 and a half inches long. Wow. Wow. It's a long baby. It was like the little kid was waiting for us to get off the air, dude. That's right. You know what I mean? Nine pounds, five ounces. Wow. So great. That's a big baby. It's a big kid. It's a load. I was a big baby like that. Were you really? Yeah, I think I was like nine pounds. I told you guys yesterday, my brother was 10-4 when he was born. He was a beast.

2:30:57Are you kidding? My poor mother. Yeah, I noticed she didn't have any more kids. That's like a three-month-old. No. No? No C-section. Oh. They actually had to take him into the next room because the scales only went up to 10 pounds. And he had just pushed that needle all the way. He hit the scale. And they're like, we got to take him next door. My mom's like, where are you going with my child? They're like, he's burned the scale out in here. We got to go get the other one. Dude. Isn't that crazy? Listen. 10-4. He was a beast. What do you ladies go through? I know. I don't either at all. Let's not talk about it. Especially because it's coming in only like a few months. Sienna's got a bun in the oven. Yeah. Sienna. And she's pregnant. Maybe you schedule. What does that mean? I don't know. Maybe you schedule a C-section. No way. You wouldn't do it? No, don't tell her to do that. Why? Brittany did. Brittany Spears? Yeah, she scheduled it. And she's a great role model. She called Cedars-Sinai and she was like, hey, I'd like to schedule a C-section. No, a lot of people do that. Is that bad? Everybody reacted like, well, Mike, that's... It's better for the baby to go through the birthing process because all the pressure and everything on the baby, it's better for them. And doesn't the woman have to be, like, sedated? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I want to talk about it. I would... Oh, my goodness. I would much... Yeah, it's the natural way to do it. I want to do it the natural way. Kim said both. Our first baby was C-section.

2:32:15And it was awful for her. All the drugs and everything that she had to come off of. It was just a sore. You have to stay in the hospital for longer, right? Yeah, it's like an extra day or something. Sometimes you have to do a C-section. And I think that's... We did. You know, that's what happens. But I don't know. You should schedule it. What are you talking about, Woods? It's a beautiful process and it should not be skirted. It is a crazy process. Let me just tell you that. All right, fine. Yeah, I'm real. Really just can't wait for that. She's stoked for it. Women's bodies are amazing. Yes. Write it down. I got some good birthing hips, though. I'm not too worried about it. Yeah. Rebecca. Just go. Rebecca had Ryan. Like the hourglass. Rebecca had Ryan naturally. Didn't have time to put drugs in. Oh, see. I don't know if I can do that. So, yeah. There was no epidural. Shoot me up real quick. I know. I didn't have any caffeine the whole time. Nothing else. No. Did she curse? She did not, but I've never heard that song. Kim did it all natural the three last times, and she did amazing. Did she curse? No. She leaned against me. At one point, she leaned against me for so long, my internal organs stopped working because she was pushing it. I was sitting behind her. See, I'm a wimp. Yeah, I sat that way for three hours or something crazy.

2:33:37Poor Jay. Yeah, I know. That's what I said. We had twin boys. Ryan came out first and he flipped Luke. And so because he flipped Luke, she had to do a C-section. So she did normal. Then she had to go rush in and they had to take Luke out the other way. Doctors are crazy. That's why Luke's so angry. I read a story, speaking of this the other day, that I was appalled by. It was about Scott Weiland, Mike. Do you know that while his wife Mary was giving birth to their child, he was next to her? Getting a massage. He was getting a massage. Get out. On my mother. I will bring you the article. It's in the new, I think maybe details magazine. What's the explanation? The explanation is, hey man, I'm sober. Okay. He had gotten clean and he's like, I'm sober. I'm stressed. Okay. Childbirth is a big deal. And like watching her go through that. I was stressed out. I needed a massage. She's laying there with her legs in the air. He's next. Like a full-on masseuse. Getting a shiatsu next to her, dude. That's a different type of person. I would kill that guy. He would be murdered. Get out of the room, you worthless thief. Can you imagine? Is that hard enough pressure? He was incredulous that the interviewer was like, really? And he's like, what? What? Like he was...

2:34:58Upset. I'll bring you the article. It's hysterical. It's fantastic. It's great. Want to hear Judge Brown start laughing at this person because of their last name? Absolutely. This is great. Mr. Winnie moved in, and that's where it all started. You thought the initial occupant, Mr. Weenie, was husband of Mrs. Weenie. Absolutely not. And you get a call later from Mr. and Mrs. Weenie. What is he, seven? What does it mean? It's really his name. I know. Weenie. Mr. Weenie, husband of Mrs. Weenie, that he was the true Mr. Weenie out of the Weenie men. So, therefore, he was notifying you that there would be another Weenie. Wow. Another weenie in the house. Who's that? I love it. Keep it together, Brown. The guy's like, I went through this my entire adolescence. Really? He looks at me and goes, really, dude? Really, your honor? Yeah. Really? First time, your honor. Yeah, first time I ever heard the good bit, pal. Real good. That's funny. Never heard that one before. Never heard the weenie. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You have to be able to have some fun at work. I guess so.

2:36:10Let's see. If you're not familiar with the Urban Survivor, the Urban Survivor is a lot like Bear Grylls, only different. He goes out into the environment and he just tries to sort of make it out in the environment with what he has. He's got to work with what he has. Sometimes he doesn't have a lot. And this time he was trying IKEA. I'm Mikey Grylls. I've never been a member of the British Special Forces. I barely got out of high school with a GED and I've got no experience except for telling jokes on the radio. I will try to survive in urban situations using nothing but the company's credit card, a car, a nice one at that, my wallet and whatever things I can find on the internet. You're listening to Urban Survival. Here I am standing outside of an Ikea.

2:37:12I'm going to go inside and attempt to find a place to rest. I know they've got a lot of Scandinavian furniture in it. Truth be told, I haven't slept in over five hours. Let's give this a try. I'm seeing someone for the first time in almost five seconds. What's your name? Sarah. Sarah, are you all right? Yeah. Are you Scandinavian? Nope. If I buy a table made of balsa wood, could you put it together for me? May take me all day, but yeah. You're the first person I've seen in over five seconds. So I just need to go through a battery of tests to make sure that you're all right. First of all, do you speak English? Every day. Do you speak English now? No. Okay. How many fingers am I holding up? Five. That's correct. I think you're all right. Are you thirsty? Yeah, actually I am. Oh my gosh, so am I unpotched. I haven't had anything to drink in over 30 minutes.

2:38:13Can I tell you a personal story? Oh, my goodness. Okay. By the way, if you feel unsafe at any time, I could fashion my hair into a rope and I can swing us to safety. And also, if you need me to, I can make my shoe into a hammock and we can sleep there safely. Or I can take my shoe and take the tongue of the shoe out and make it into a house where we can live forever. Live forever. Okay, I'll keep that in mind. I'm going to tell you a personal story quickly. Is that all right? Yeah. I was once at a resort in Scandinavia. And I ordered room service and it didn't show up for over 30 minutes. So I began to panic. By the way, if you're listening and you're ever in a situation like that, don't panic. It's the worst thing you can do. I scavenged my room. Eventually I found a can of peanuts that cost $427. And then I found a Slim Jim and a Toblerone. It was enough to last me for another hour and a half. Luckily, Sarah, I made it out there alive. Are you still with me? Yeah. Sadly, just moments after talking to Sarah, she was swept away by Scandinavian gypsies who sold her to a carnival. Until next time, I'm the Urban Survivor. That's the Urban Survivor. Oh, my God.

2:39:33She was having none of you. It's too bad that she was swept away by Scandinavian gypsies and sold to the carnival. It's too bad. In North County. A lot of Scandinavian gypsies. Gypsies that will sweep you away and sell you to the carnival. I want to see you fashion your hair into a rope. I know. Considering you're bald. Tiny rope. She looked at me like it's a tiny rope. Maybe your back hair. Oh, wow. Double row. If anybody wants to call us with the best April Fool's prank you've ever heard. Pulled. Or heard. You can do it. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. You guys ever do any good ones? I told you about the one I did to Rebecca. I remember one really good one that was pulled on me, and it was when I was in second grade, and it was by my teacher. Yeah. She was moody at times, very moody. And towards the end of the day, she said that we were misbehaving. We were being so bad. And so on the board, she was writing all of our homework. And then, you know, she just let us go on with the class and then she'd write more homework on there, more homework on there. And so there was that one point when every single one of our books were in our backpacks and we couldn't even fit it. So we had our books piling up next to our backpack. Right. And we had so much homework. And when you're in second grade, you're like, how am I going to do this? And then finally, when we walked back in right before the bell rang, it said,

2:41:02April Fool's on the whiteboard. And I was like, ah! That's a good one. Mine, too, Rebecca, was that I got out of rehab on the first. So mean. So mean. You're awful. I was getting out of rehab on the first. So she's going to meet me and everything. And I call her that morning. I'm like, I'm going to leave this. Relaxed. In rehab. In rehab. Got to stay. No, 27. Oh, my God, Michael. And she goes, what? Like, all mad. Yeah, furious. Yeah. So mean. She's like, babe, what did you do? She's like, that is not funny. Dead silence. Dead silence on the phone. Crickets. I would have gotten an MF thrown my way at best. I need my drone ride home, my friend. I literally would have. Pretty much. I would have gotten an MF thrown my way. 570-1949 or 949mikey at gmail.com.

2:42:02See, I did this bit, which none of you guys noticed all day. I didn't notice that. I didn't notice it. None of you guys noticed this. She's got on a giant diamond. It's a CZ. I am so self-involved. It's a cubic zirconian? Yep. Zirconia? I thought for sure. I was, like, scratching my face in front of you, Mike, and I was like... You've had that on all day? I'm surprised I didn't notice. Yep. Had it on all day. You could have worn it. All month. Yeah. Great. I did this to my little brother. And I actually don't even think it was April 1st. I think it was like June 2nd last year. I was at a party and, you know, he came and he had only lived in California for a couple months. And I'm like, it's like me, my little brother, Matt, and somebody else. And I had this on. I have this fake ring because I got it for like an acting job that I had. And for waiting tables probably. No, it was for an acting job that I had, but I would wear it sometimes to the bar. Yeah, so I had it on, and I'm like holding my drink close to my face, and I'm like, yeah, everything. Just crazy. If that were a real diamond, it'd be like about three carats. Right. It's huge. I know. And so I kept doing that, and I'm like saying it and saying it, and I go, notice anything crazy about my hands? Finally, and my brother's like, oh.

2:43:21Oh my, whoa, wow. Yeah. And he's like, do mom and dad know? I'm like, yeah, everyone knows. Everyone knows except for you. He's hugging Matt. Matt's like sweating. He's like, oh, congratulations. Wow, guys. Where are you going to have it? Matt is a good sport. He is a good sport. That would make most guys so uncomfortable. Of course. And I said, April flows. And he's like, it's June. It's June. It's June. Wow. She pulls an April Fool's joke in June. How uncomfortable for Matt. I know. He's like, this is her bit. This is her bit. This is her bit. Wink, wink, wink. He's like, I can maybe do this on April 1st, but on June 2nd, this is weird. Yeah, notice that almost a year has passed. She's like, gee, do you want to get engaged? Good Lord. Did you hear what Lauren just said? What? Notice that almost a year has passed. So when are you and Matt getting married? That's a good question. Since everybody else is married on the show, when are you guys going to get married? Maybe he's worried that you'll say no or something. Yeah. Why would he be worried about that? Maybe he does want to get married in a weed hut. Okay? On a dirt farm somewhere. I think he does, actually. Yeah, probably. He would want the same. Whatever she says he's going to do. No, that's not how it works. No. I think they're pretty similar. They both want to get...

2:44:39you know, married at like a place that recycles mylar balloons. Well, he said, he was like, you guys are always making me look like a victim and like making it look like you're the bad guy on the show. I'm like, yeah, I know. But see, we know the difference because we've seen Matt walk in here and we've seen you like, he's in charge. He's in charge. He's in charge. He's in charge. You are a completely different person when he's around. Oh, you're like a 14-year-old girl in front of Joe Jonas is what you're like. It's true. That is the greatest description. It's true. She's going to get to meet Joe Jonas. And I won't say anything. I'm not going to say anything. But the other day, Lauren and I were texting each other about a situation that had come up. And Lauren goes, and Matt was kind of in the wrong here a little bit in this situation. Kind of. Matt was in the wrong. Matt was in the wrong. On paper, it looks weird. On paper, it looked awful. And we're not going to tell you what had happened. Okay. But even though right now everyone's dying. I don't care if I don't know about it. But she writes back. She goes, yeah. And then he charmed his way out of it as he usually does. The guy, he's got some skills, dude. He's got some skills. Charms his way out of it. How does he charm his way out of it? He'll just be like.

2:45:56I want to know, are you asking Woods for advice? No, it happened to pertain to our heated discussion the other day about guys being shady. Things of that nature. And you started asking him about stuff. Yeah, I was kidding around. I was pointing the finger at him, but I was kidding. Was it through text? Yeah. You don't kid. Yeah, it's hard to kid through text. Unless you put, like, a wink. Especially if you're pointing a finger. No, I think I did put, like, a wink in there. Yeah, I think you put a wink. I did. Or, like, a ha-ha-ha or something. I put, like, a ha-ha or something like that. And then he goes, I go, yeah, I said that because you heard what we were talking about today, right? Ha-ha-ha. And he's like, no, actually, I didn't hear that part, but I am doing something you're not going to lie. I have a confession I need to make. He's like, I'm at my wife's house. I'm bouncing my child on my knee right now. I'm playing basketball with my 13-year-old son. But it was just funny. She wrote me, and it was just like, again, a little piece of it falls down, and she's like, he just charmed his way out of it. I'm like, how can Lauren be charmed? I want to know what's going on. You've said too much without telling us. I'd love to tell you off the air. So what did you say? I already promised him I wouldn't talk about it on the air. What did he say? What did he say to charm his way out? He just like...

2:47:20Took his shirt off. Yeah. Took his shirt off. Started rubbing wheat tortillas all over himself. Just get you hot. Drinking kombucha. What's up, girl? You started gnawing on some spinach. Yeah. Shirtless. No shirtless. Guitar. Guitar. Oh, yeah. Hey, babe, I wrote you a new song. It's called Spinach. Hand me my spinach. Spinach is for you when you're trying to be healthy. I want to eat spinach with you. Spinach. I want to pick wheatgrass with you. Let's go to the beach. Let's pick up some trash. Let's go to the beach. Let's save some seals right now. Here's how he charms her. Here's Matt. I love to eat spinach when it feels right. That's with you. I love to recycle things.

2:48:36When I'm looking in your beautiful eyes, I will eat as long as I meet in the baby boots. Yes! Wow. I think I'm in love. Yeah. It's a beautiful song. That's what he does. Amazing. He slays her. She'll be, she'll probably be angry one second, the next thing she'll be like, ah. Yeah. No, I can't say mad because he has a great sense of humor and he knows how to charm his way out of things. He gets you bit. Does he go, you can't stay mad at me. Matt at me. You can't stay mad at me. But then I'll bring it up for like weeks. I'll leave little hints around. Weird. Yeah, weird. Because you're not mad at me. You're not mad at me. But I bust. He busts and I bust. What, he'll make you laugh? He'll bust my stones. I bust his stones, you know? Yeah, you do. Yeah.

2:49:40Yeah, she does. Yeah. It's a con. You're dating a comedian. You got to expect it. She's a stone buster. Mm-hmm. Let's call it what it is. What? Ball breaker. Yeah, she is. I didn't know if I could say that on the radio. I'll say it, man. All right? I'm leading anyway. Yeah. What did M1 Sean do? Sean, what'd you do? Yeah, well, it wasn't actually one of my buddies. They went to school up in Santa Barbara. And on April Fool's Day, get up in the... early in the morning or the night before he went to bed and he put saran wrap on his roommate's toilet. So his roommate got up early in the morning. Oh, wow. Yeah. And it seemed to work like four years in a row. The whole time they were in college, no one ever figured it out. They'd get up in the morning and it worked every year. It's like being at SeaWorld in the splash zone. Hey, Covey. Yeah. Covey, that wouldn't work for you. Why? We couldn't pull that one on you. Why not? Because you'd fall through it when you sat down. How dare you? How dare you? Morrissey, tomorrow. This one's for my wife. Her favorite, Morrissey. A little oil shout out. Thank you. Your mama's so fat. We need a dude you're done next. I'm crafting this broadcast to tell you...

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2:57:27You ask them. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. This report is brought to you by AutoZone. Now at AutoZone, get a 5-plus quart oil change jug or 5 single quarts of Valvoline conventional motor oil and a Fram Extra Guard oil filter. Just $16.99. Restrictions apply. See your store for details. Get to AutoZone today. Well, it looks like the 163 northbound is still pretty tied up here after Washington Street due to an accident involving a pedestrian. A signal alert still issued. All northbound lanes are shut down. They've got a couple cars blocking lanes, and they are doing an investigation. On the 8 westbound before Cresswood Road, an overturned car. It's upside down on the right shoulder. They're waiting on a tow truck there to turn them around. And the 5 northbound before the 76. Good news here. That road is cleared. There was a car down the embankment on a steep hill. They got a tow truck, got them out. and you should be able to get through. This report brought to you by the Masters. Log on to Masters.com, the tournament's official website, April 6th through the 12th, for complete tournament coverage, including real-time scoring and live full-screen video all week long. Masters.com, real-time, anytime. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. What's he's picking the music?

2:59:51That's the strokes. That's the only, you only live once. Such a good tune. That is good. Welcome back. It's good to be back. I'm going to. We have some heated discussions. Off the air. On and off the air. They're good. This week has been. Great. Great. I think there's some hormones flying about throughout the studio or something. I need my wife to get here soon. You know what I mean? Wow. Well, we're having a discussion. Because I was mentioning my brother and my brother's practice, which is fine, mostly because my brother isn't married. He's single. But we were talking about going to lunch with the opposite sex, which I have to augment what I was saying. I think it's okay to go to lunch with the opposite sex. I do. I think it's okay to go to lunch with the opposite sex, especially in certain situations.

3:01:02If you work with them, for sure. So if I went to lunch with Sienna or Pepper O'Brien, I think that that's totally appropriate. Now, I also think it would be okay if a salesperson who was the opposite sex wanted to take me to a very nice lunch and pay for it. Hint, hint. We have different types of jobs, though. It is really beneficial for us to talk off of the air a lot, you know? Yeah. But I think what if it was in the sales department, two people in the sales department, a guy and a girl, and they were going to lunch together? Not a problem. Be fine. Not a problem, man. Same thing. That's insecurity, dude. It is. It is, bro. It is. It is. No way it's not. What are they talking about? They have totally different clients.

3:01:57They're talking about where they work. They're talking about what they do for a living. How do you do it? How do you package the spots? How do you make this work? How do you get past a gatekeeper? You can't do that at work? Yeah, you can do it at work, but why not do it over a meal? Because a meal is more intimate, and we're human beings, and you have a libido, and she has a libido. Right, we're human beings. We need food to function. Yeah. Let's order some sandwiches. Okay. Are you not having lunch within a conference room? What's the difference? Get a pizza. Get a bunch of people together. Bro, that is straight up insecure. No. If I said to Jamie, you cannot go with Joe Blow, who's a sales guy where you work. Oh, I would never say to Rebecca, you can't. Yeah. Or if I said, I don't even like it. I would feel like a D. Wouldn't say that either. Wouldn't say that either. What would you do? React. And this is what I'm saying. Like this is the rule that I have for me and Rebecca has the same rule. Like Rebecca, mainly what we're talking about, we're not really talking about work stuff. Because work stuff you can kind of rationalize. You know what I mean? Kind of rationalize any work thing. I got one for you. What? You guys go to church. I go to your church. There's a guy there that wants to meet Rebecca for lunch. And he's...

3:03:11You know them. You've kind of seen them around. You're not comfortable with that. What's he want to meet her for? Yeah, what's the reason? He wants to talk about scripture. No. No. You're out on it. Yeah, it's weird. Mike can be there. That's weird. Maybe it's like he has twins or something and wants advice. But he's divorced. Phone call. He's divorced. Yeah, probably. Phone call. And I wouldn't even have to say it. She'd talk to him on the phone. Right. She'd know it. Yeah, she'd talk to him on the phone. Now, if it did happen, you'd be mad. If a girl said to me, hey, I'm having an issue with addiction, can I buy you lunch and talk to you about it? Rebecca would probably be okay with that if that was the deal. What does she look like? Megan Fox. Yeah, Megan Fox. The thing, the bottom line is if the significant other has a problem with that person in any way feels uncomfortable, then you shouldn't be going. Absolutely. I think if you are... But jeopardizing the way that your significant other feels and you know during that time that you're at lunch, they're going to be just tearing themselves apart and miserable knowing that you're there. Like, you shouldn't be going. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy talk from lunatics. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I have ex-employees. I have friends. I mean, if I ever dated somebody, then no, I'm not going to go to lunch or anything else with them. But if it's just a female.

3:04:42That's off limits, too. Yeah. The old girlfriends, for sure. For sure. But if it's somebody that I'm going to do business with or if it's somebody that we're friends, like I have ex-employees that are females, that Kim would have no problem with me going to lunch because she's comfy. An ex-employee, you know, I mean. But what I'm saying is if. Wait, question. Does she know them? Yes. I would say yes. And that's a thing. She probably knows them pretty good. Like all the people that worked for you over at Clear Channel, she knows them. Yeah. Here's the point, though. She knows me. Right. That's the bottom line. She knows me and she trusts me. That's the bottom line. And she knows I'm not going to get my hand in a cookie jar. Here's the problem. Rebecca knows you, loves you, and trusts you. I get it. I get it. Here's the problem, though. The problem is that I'm a human being, and if I go to lunch with a real pretty girl, and I happen to go to lunch with a real pretty girl, and I do this as a regular practice, right? Let's say. It's your bit. That that's my bit. You know, she knows me real well. I'm trustworthy, blah, blah, blah. And I go to lunch with various single attractive women, right? And let's say I don't, but let's say I did, right? There's going to be that time that I'm so angry at Rebecca and she's so mad at me and we're in the middle of it. And I go to lunch and we're talking and the girl's like, how's everything going with you guys, by the way? And I'm like, great.

3:06:04And she goes, what was that? Oh my gosh, what was that? You can't even, don't even, you did something. I can't even count on one hand how many times I've seen relationships and marriages where that exact thing happens and interrupts that flow and it goes south. Unwise. It's just not smart. It's like that's, to me, that's brain dip. 101. No, I'm not saying that the lunch was like the nail in the coffin, but you know. If Rebecca knows them or we know them, I think that's one thing. It has to be situational. There's no like, it can't be a line in the sand or a black and white thing. It's definitely a gray issue. The other day we were talking about going through the email and everything. Now I'm being completely serious. Rebecca can go through my email. I can go through her email. Like we don't have any like locks or passwords or whatever. Right. And the question came up, Mike, what if you were in Rebecca's email and you saw an email from some dude that you didn't recognize his name? Tad Belchick. Tad Belchick. There's no anything written on the subject line. You bet your sweet jacuzzi I'm checking that out. Dude, I'm telling you. That's your other half. Listen, I'm telling you right now.

3:07:29That if I see a name that I've never seen before and there's clearly a conversation and I've never heard the guy's name before, I'm going to look at it and I'm going to tell her I looked at it. That is a violation. Hang on a second. Conversely, if she's looking through my email, like she's got a business there. She's like doing it for a reason, which is the reason that we said that this was happening in the first place, right? Right, right. And she sees, you know. Samantha Valium. Samantha Valium. I don't know. What? Samantha Valium. You know her. Right. He's a real sleeper. A pill popper. Samantha. Samantha. And she's never heard that name. And there's a thing going back and forth, blah, blah, blah. And she opens it. I mean, she probably would. I've never heard of no Samantha. I honestly think that my level of trust with her, with Rebecca, is. high enough that I'm like, what is that all about? And she doesn't have any problem with it. She would be like, oh yeah, that's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right, right. I mean, this is just the way I'm thinking. Wait, I'm confused. If she was on your email and she saw an email from Samantha Valium. She's like, I don't know who Samantha Valium is. But your saying is, if she said, oh, by the way, I saw an email from Samantha Valium, I looked at it and you wouldn't care. No, if she said, hey, well, what is Samantha Valium? Innocent? Yeah.

3:08:55Innocent? Yeah, she wanted your advice on a situation she's in, a little bit of help. We're in a little bit of a, this is a little bit of a hard question to answer because I do that. I know, that's why I said that. So she probably wouldn't, like if she saw Samantha Valium, she's probably going to see Samantha Valium and she's going to see, you know, Pauly Percocet and she's going to see, you know, a lot of people that she doesn't know who they are. But don't you tell Rebecca a lot of the people's names of who you have? Just because it's your wife and that's what you do? Yeah. Like every one of them right now, she knows who they are. Does she go through your mirrors? So she saw one that she didn't recognize and she saw that there was like two re's in the subject. So it was a conversation. That's the thing. Like she didn't know about everybody. There's men, women, blah, blah, blah. If she was curious, would it bother you? No. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to get at. No. No, it wouldn't. Because you don't have anything to hide. What if you walked in? and Matt was going through your purse. You didn't know. You had your purse in the kitchen, and you walked in, or you had yours in the kitchen, Sienna. Oh, I don't care less. If I'm going through Rebecca's purse, it's because I need something out of my purse. I would assume he was looking for gum. I don't have anything hidden. I go through Kim's purse. Right. No, I'm saying. No big deal. But you don't know. You walk in, and he looks like the cat that ate the canary. He's rifling through your purse. You don't have a problem with that? What are you doing? Well, if he looks like the cat that ate the canary.

3:10:22There's nothing in my purse that would ever incriminate me, though. But if I'm going through Rebecca's purse and she walks in, I'm not going to go... It would not phase me for a second if he was in there. If I found him doing that in my email, I actually wouldn't even be mad. I would be curious as to what he was looking for. Here's an example. Yesterday, I announced on the air that Todd and I are having a baby. Todd told me he was at work yesterday. He called me. He's like, man, I'm just going through your Facebook looking at the messages. They're so nice. I know. I'm glad he feels that he can do that. Because he doesn't have his own. We'll fix that. We will. He doesn't want his own. But no, see, that's the thing. I don't have anything to hide. So, like, I wouldn't be like, well, I would be like, what were you looking for? It's called an invasion of privacy is what it's called. It's an invasion of somebody's privacy to go through their personal stuff. Sure it is when it's a government. If it's your wife. I would hope that there is a good reason that he would be going through my stuff. Of course you would, Pep. But. If it's your wife. It's your family. What are you going to do?

3:11:23Would you yell at your mom for going through your email? You're damn skippy. I would yell at my mom for going through my email. Yes. Oh, I would be irritated at my mom. But it's your family. Mikey, it's your family. Hang on a second. My wife, or my mom? Ain't my wife. Yeah, your mom doesn't know every intimate detail. No, that's true. It's called a wife. I know. I'm sorry. Bad example. But, like, I just, like, I don't think they're up to any bad. In fact, if my kids go through my stuff, I'm like, what are you doing going through? The only person allowed to go through my stuff is your mother. Yeah. That's the only person allowed to go through my stuff. Let's all live in a commune and live naked. We're just open, man. It's just open, dude. You have nothing to hide. Look at my body. I'm nude. There's nothing in my pocket. Let's everybody be on lockdown. Nobody's on lockdown. Don't look at my wallet. Why do you have a password? Why do you have a password? Why do you have a pin number? So that strangers don't get my money.

3:12:27Stranger danger. Get? Like, what? So that his email account doesn't get hacked into. Woods, let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. You get married, you forsake all privacy at that point. Let me ask you. Is that what I'm asking? No, you can go to the bathroom. No, I go to the bathroom with the door closed. Yeah, there you go. I go to the bathroom with the door closed. I do. I close that door in the bathroom. I feel very self-conscious. I hate this. I know. I guess I need to learn to share more. Yes, that's true. Okay. Now, let me ask you. If your wallet is sitting on the counter, okay, and your wife needed to borrow a couple of bucks. Yep. And you walked in and she was getting some money out of your wallet. I would say, what the hell are you doing to my wallet? Really? Yeah, I would say that. Todd would be glad that I was doing that. Not if I took all of it, but he'd be like, oh, I didn't know you had enough money. I'd take it. Ask me. Don't just go through my stuff. I take cash from his wallet all the time. Oh, my God. Because I leave early in the morning. Sip from the same drink. Like, you. Yes, we make love, so we are one. Yes, exactly. I get it. I'm a scumbag. I get it. No! You're not. I'm not a scumbag. Eject. Okay, Woods, there are so many people that are like you, and I don't think it's necessarily wrong the way that you think. I don't think it's wrong. No. I think that it's just... No, no, I'm serious. It just seems, you know, sketchy. Like I said.

3:13:46WoodsFamily at Yahoo.com is going to be the new email for everybody. WoodsFamily at Facebook.com. We're going to have the same profile. We're going to send out the same Christmas card. The whole bit. The whole married open bit, honey. Too far. Here it comes. You're taking it too far. You're over the top. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. That's what all you clowns do. Why not? No, we don't have the same email. I'll join the circus. Why are we clowns? Well, why? Okay. Why do you have separate emails? He's getting mad. He's getting really upset. Why? Because we both get so many emails a day and we need to keep them straight. Okay, so do we. I don't need to get a bunch of emails from Matt in my inbox. Why can't Matt just answer your email? I think it's appropriate that you have a different email than your wife. Why? It's appropriate. Shouldn't we be sharing? No. No one's ever suggested that. You and Todd have different? No. Woods, you're overdoing it. Weird. That was an overreaction. Nobody has ever suggested that you have different email accounts. The only suggestion that's been made is that everything... Is available. It is. Have a bowl. Have a bowl. Sounds very inviting. Yeah. Sounds like a bowl. I guess I'm just more of a private person. It doesn't mean I'm up to anything. I just don't like people in my stuff. I'll tell you one thing, though. If I walked in and Todd was going through my text messages. Yeah. How would you feel about that? I'd be like, hey, what are you doing? That's your husband. I would feel like he was snooping. Exactly. And on my email. That's my whole point. Just, okay, chill out.

3:15:07On my email, if he was there, I wouldn't feel like he was snooping. It's email. That's like all my information. He's in your scent items, and he's digging through the trash. Let's say he's in the trash part of your email. What do you do? Chill out, dude. Who's doing that? Sorry, bro. Your wife is not going to do that. He's in the trash section of your inbox. What are you going to do? But I've seen Matt. Matt has had my phone in his hand before, and I call him Bubz. I'm like, what are you doing, Bubz? He's like, oh, I'm thinking about getting a BlackBerry. I want to see how it works. I wasn't like, give me, would you see? Would you see? Well, no, I'm not like that either. But it's your it's it's an invasion of your privacy. Something seems different to me about texts. Why? I don't know. Let's figure it out. Let's figure it out. No, I'm serious. I know. What if somebody was looking for you? I told you, I don't think that you're wrong in believing what you believe. Everyone has a right to their own opinion. And I think a lot of people are like you. But you said, but you said text would bother you. Email wouldn't. So Todd's in the trash part of your email. Would you be like, why are you looking through my trash can? Okay, if he was doing that, which he wouldn't. Right, which he wouldn't. I would say, why are you doing that? I'll tell you why. I figured it out. I figured it out. Why? This is snooping. Texts and trash. If somebody's going through text and trash, there is an implied, there's something implied there. Right. By those two things.

3:16:32Trash and text. It's what are you hiding? There's something implied in that particular thing. Or sent. In my inbox, there's not anything implied. I don't have an implication that there's digging going on. And this is from somebody that... Really, dude? If somebody is in your inbox, it doesn't imply that they are looking for something? Yeah, it does. It implies they're looking for something they need. Exactly. It could be that they're looking for something you need. I must be cut from a different freaking cloth. And that's fine. I just don't buy it. I just think, like, it's your wife. You know what I mean? Exactly. Which is why I would never go into her inbox. Ever. This is what I'll say, too. I've never gone through my wife's email. But if I want to. You should be able to. And I think that's the point. Why would you need to? I don't. I don't. That's my whole thing. This would freak me out, though, if my wife was like, don't look through my... That's what it would be. Of course. But isn't that essentially what you're saying? You're like, don't go through my stuff. No, I'm not saying that. If she needs, for some reason, if Jamie came to me and said, let me get in your email, I'd say, okay, why?

3:17:47Yeah, it depends on the intent. Here's the situation. Here's the situation. You're driving in your car, driving along, and Jamie calls you, and she's like, hey, your mom just gave me a call, and she said that she sent you a picture of the new nephews that were born. I'm dying to see. She didn't remember my email. Can I just see it? Just give me your password. Yes. You would give her your password? Yes. Okay. Well, then there. Then you don't care. Yeah, you don't care then. That's not the point. The point is why... That's a really weird kind of example because. Well, but what we're saying is Rebecca's not going to go on Mikey's email just to go through it every day. I got it. I just figured it out. Okay. Here we go. You're with me, Woods. And you forgot your phone. She's trying to get a hold of you. I've done it. I've left my phone at home before. So she calls me. She says, hey, ask. She says, put my husband on the phone. She's talking to you. She says, hey. Where's your, do you have your phone with you? No, I forgot it at Mikey's house. Okay, because I was calling you to see if you could look up something on your email. It's really important. It's a confirmation number for blah, blah, blah, and I need it. My flight. My flight. Right. You're like, oh, yeah, it's in my email. She goes, okay, well, can you give me your password so I can get on there and check it out? I'd be like, you can't wait till I get home? She's like, no, I got to actually, I got to give, I got to do, I'm at the airport and I need it. Fine, here.

3:19:12I wouldn't like it, but I would do it. No, but Woods, that's all we're saying. None of us are saying that Jamie should have the right to go through your email every single day. She should have the right to go through if she needs to. She needs to. Would you not agree, though? It depends on the intent. Snooping is different than... Yeah, dude, that's the deal. If I felt like I was being snooped on, obviously I would... I have a follow-up question. Fire away. If you did that and you gave her the password, would you change your password like the next day? He would. Hold on, hold on. Would you change your password once you knew that she knew it? Probably. Yeah. Probably. I probably would. Just like I would expect her to. I'm not that kind of guy, though. Like, I don't care. Matt knows my password for everything. What about like... Perfect town. No, no. Dang. And I'm listening to this grief from three people that were like, my significant other would never be allowed to go to lunch with somebody else. And I'm like the one that's like, I don't care. I trust her. And I'm the crazy, I'm the lunatic. I see what you're saying. I'm the lunatic. I see it too. Yeah, I'm the lunatic. I say, listen, I don't think it's a good idea to be going to lunch with members of the opposite sex because of the innate danger.

3:20:32Especially if they're good looking. If that's what's meant to be, dude, then that's what's meant to be. What if Rebecca went out with a guy that was five foot four? He's already taller than me. If it's someone that your significant other is comfortable with, then it's fine. And if you know them and you're comfortable with, I don't know. There's just so many factors. It's not that they can't go out with anyone of the opposition. I trust my wife implicitly. That's my whole point behind this week of the Grand Inquisition. I trust my wife implicitly. Be honest. Are things okay with you and Jamie? Be honest. Things are great. Now I see something on your face. Things are great. Such a treat to come to work. No, you stop it. Stop it. Maybe I can get my old recruiting job back. Hey, we're not saying those are right or wrong. It's just discussion. Dude, ho-dads today. Me and you, man. Maybe. Frank, I might take you up on it. Reach local if you're listening. I'm still available. How dare you. It's the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Made a special buy on hibiscus plants. Get three one-gallon containers for just $10. With big bursts of color, your hibiscus plants will light up your porch like a floral fireworks display. And you'll get plenty of bang for your buck, too, using your savings to add some decorative pots or even more hibiscus plants. Right now, three for $10.

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3:26:51had a chance. Mamatesta Taqueria. University Avenue and Richmond in Hillcrest. Now, back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Too bad it's Easter. I am. I think I am. And I'm the boy that won't learn. I keep burning myself with eggs, but I keep going back to that trough. You're not allergic. They're delicious. I know, but they make me feel... A lot of people are allergic. They make me feel like I'm sick. But I love the way they take it. Do you guys have anything that you love it, but it makes you feel bad? Like sick, you mean? Yeah, like it makes you feel like not. Yeah. Well, it's just because, yeah, Mike, you. All of you today. All of you. No, I'm feeling pretty like. Are you? Yeah. Well, when I, it's me, every time I eat eggs with yolk, ever since I had my second child.

3:28:19My mom. When my mom had me, she couldn't eat eggs anymore. They made her sick. That's Kim. She can't breathe when she eats eggs now. Really? Yeah, I've heard that. She used to be fine? What's that? She used to be okay? Oh, she was fine. Then she got pregnant with Jasper, and then she couldn't figure it out for a long time. She just was like, why can't I eat eggs? You know, what's making me? I can't. Weird. So finally she went and had a test, and it was like, oh, yeah, you can't eat eggs anymore. I was like, great. I don't think I can. I'm glad we have chickens. You guys have your taste buds completely changed to certain foods. Like, you used to love them. Now you're like, ew, what did I ever see in you? I've opened up more. Yeah, me too. We like stuff. I love everything. I go through phases where I like and dislike tomatoes. Yeah, me too. Like, no tomatoes. I can't eat a slice of a tomato, but I can eat diced up tomatoes like crazy. That's me with bananas. I can't just bite into a banana. It has to be sliced up. And I love anything flavored banana. I'm not much of an avocado chopped up, but I love me some guacamole. I will bathe in guacamole. Oh, yeah.

3:29:15I'll slather myself in guacamole. You give Rebecca a million dollars in cash, she would not come anywhere near a guacamole. Really? Oh, man. And she's born and raised in SoCal. You guys have an avocado tree. Yeah, she's thoroughly disgusted by that tree. Really? Thoroughly. So gross to her. She looks at, I'll be making guacamole in a little mortar and pestle. Of course I will. Is that because you're Mexican or just because you like it? It's because my Mexican-ness. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you. That's how you do it. When I'm making the guacamole and the little mocahete. I make a mean guacamole. You got to keep the seed in there from the avocado. I bet you make a mean guacamole, lady. You know what I'm saying? I do. You know what I'm saying? I do. Let's see. What do we got? Oh, man. We still have so many things to talk about. Do we? I don't know if we're going to get to it at all. I went over during the commercial break. Gave him a little... I gave him a little... A little back massage. A little back massage. I look like Michael Douglas in Fatal Attraction is what I look like. I look like the shadiest bastard on the planet. Hi, my name is... What? Yeah, seriously. And let me clarify, my wife does none of that stuff.

3:30:27She doesn't go through my phone. She doesn't go through my email. Oh, I'm sure she doesn't. She doesn't. She knows better. I mean, I do call her Magnum PI, but she doesn't do that stuff. But we do have, maybe I have privacy issues and I'm going to work on them. You get so, like, whenever we talk about something like that, you, I think, I feel like you're going to explode. You seem tense up. Yeah. The butt cheeks go. And he's like, you know, and he's. Better watch what you say really carefully to him. It's probably because I'm shady. That's probably why. No. This is Shade Bowl. You just have to just... It's a big Shade Bowl. Let the trust grow. It's grown. The opinions on the Mikey Show fan page on Facebook vary. Some people really agree with Woodsy. In fact, M1Marco says, I'm with Woodsy. It's about personal space. M1Scott says, I'm with Woods. It's about the personal space too. But he's got to take it down a notch and chill out a bit. As Sienna was suggesting, I say. Sorry, dude, this is day four of this conversation that we're having. So if I'm a little amped up, get. Well, OK, we learned something new today, though. What did we learn? Well, I admitted like that. A lot of people I do understand where you're coming from. And a lot of people do have the same beliefs as you. But we also learned that you would give your password to Jamie if she needed it. Absolutely. She can have it right now.

3:31:47What is it? It just lets everyone know. Let's see. 5-7-0. Yanks 22, remember? I revealed it yesterday. Yeah, that's right. Yanks 22. Yanks 22. Yanks stripes 22. Pinstripe robe lover. I break for Yanks. Frankie, tell Woods to lighten up a little bit. Hey, dude, I'm with Woods, man. I know you are. Thank you for that support. I tell you, man, a lot of the times, dude, these broads, man, they just don't get it. I know. Oh, yeah. You get bogged down with the ladies there, Frankie. Hey, man, you get bogged down with the ladies, man. That's why right now, man, I'm single, dude. Yeah, that's why you're single? That's why. Yeah, because, you know, I got to the point with all my girlfriends where they was just always trying to check up on me. I mean, I was like, you know what I need, man? I need a bestie. Frank, you got one now, pal. Yeah, dude. You're on board. What are you guys going to do today? Come here. I don't know that we're going to hang out or anything, but I'm glad you're my best pal, man. Yeah, dude. We're best friends. It's just we ain't never hung out personally. Not even one time, man. I tell Woods all the time. I text him, leave him messages on his Facebook. Yep. He deletes them. I delete them.

3:33:14I send messages to his personal email. I'll send him cards. And I also put lettuce under his windshield wipers. You put lettuce under his windshield wipers? It's funny, when I get his cards, they smell like cologne. I think he sprays a cologne on it. Do you do that? No, man. I got a lot of sunscreen from going to the beach on my fingers. Oh, is that what it is? It smells like cologne, but... It smells like Roger Federer for men, dude. It is Roger Federer for men. Well, Frankie, you do wear a lot of cologne. I can see how I can maybe just rub off on it. You know why I wear it? Why? Because the chicks love it. Do they? What kind is it? It's Roger Federer for men. It's Roger Federer for men. Frank, I've been thinking, dude. You know the slogan? FedEx baby delivers every time. Is that the slogan? Frank, I'm thinking about... I was thinking about getting out of town, dude, at some point. Dude, I have an idea. I'm all ears at this point, bro. I got an idea, bro. You may actually get him to hang out with you. This is sounding... I think I need to get out of town for a couple days. Let's wear some shorts and go backpacking across Europe.

3:34:25Europe. It's not exactly close by. Dude, I don't know that we can go to Europe, pal. You don't have a passport? No. Yeah, I do. Yeah, you do. I don't know if I can afford it. I'll pay. What do you do? You just have money. What do you do? You put on cut-off jean trucks. You go... Shirtless. No. What do you do for work? You're here in the studio every morning. Oh, I fix Trans Ams. Oh, you do? Trans Ams? Yeah, exclusively. Like Pontiac? Yeah, Pontiac, Trans Am. No, Buick, Trans Am, girlfriend. You know that. But that's the only kind of car you fix. Yeah, I fix Trans Ams. And I rock. I rock, Trans Am, Corvette. That's really amazing. Thunderbirds. Hey, dude, so if we were going to go to Europe, I don't have the... I don't have the vacation time. Don't worry, dude. I'll get us all set up. We'll go backpacking. I'll get us some euros. There you go. Dude, I don't have the time to get off work. Well, you don't have time to get off work. Yeah, like I don't have the vacation days accrued yet. You know what I mean? Yeah, we have to have certain amounts of time. We can't just leave. There's only so many chits that we get, and I can't use up all my chits. Dude, I have another idea. Me and you meet girls. Here's how we do it. He's married. I'm married.

3:35:50We get a job at the mall. At the mall? At the mall. We meet girls. He doesn't need a job. He's got a good one right here. Dude, we'll open a kiosk. Why? What? Oh, my God. Open a kiosk at the mall. Frankie, you 100% would work at a kiosk. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, hey, excuse me. Yeah, that's what I would do. Hey, girl. Hey, girlfriend. You look good over there in the pink shirt. See? You get it? Come over here. And then it would actually be a guy that he was talking to. You were the incredibly voluptuous figure. Come here. What would we sell? We'll sell like, I don't know, like backpacks. Backpacks? We'll sell like gag gifts. What about that stuff? Stuff that makes a fart noises. Salt and sea. Fart noises. Yeah, you'll be like, come over here. That's not going to sell. That'd be a funny kiosk. That'd be like a gag thing. What do we call it? What do we call our business? Farts. Farts. Yeah.

3:36:50Oh, I like it. I actually really like it. I was brainstorming. Well, I work here every day. Yeah. Then you get off and then you come over. Can we go to the mall? 1 o'clock in the afternoon over to the mall. North County Fair. Dude, Mikey would never let you do that. I know. Mikey's going to let me have two jobs. Nah, man. He'd probably be cool about it. Selling farts at the mall? No, dude. You know what I mean? Selling farts at the mall. Whoopie cushions. Selling farts at the mall. Stuff like that. And then we'll raise money to go backpacking for when you get time off so that we can take the, you know, the Euro train and all that. Think of the raves in Germany. You already have the shoes to go to Europe. Yeah, he does. Hey, you got those Hugo bosses, which in my opinion are a little fairy, but don't get it, dude. Frank, I thought you had my back. I'm just saying, bro. Yeah, they are a little... Little twinkle toes on those, you know what I mean? Unbelievable. What do you know about twinkle toes? Come on. Frankie Vior's Tevos, dude, okay? Like, wrapped up around his ankle. He looks like a Roman soldier. You know, it actually turns out I'm a Roman soldier. Oh, great. I love Romans. Who knew? There you go. 570-1949. I wonder if Wolfgang and Frankie would be good friends. Maybe we have new besties.

3:38:14Yeah, Wolfgang's all right, but as me, man, I kind of like the dudes that like the chicks, if you know what I mean. Oh, I love chicks. I love chicks, Frankie. When's the last time you dated a chick, man? This morning. I'm so funny about that. You don't date people by the hour. Really, you dated a girl this morning? This morning. I did, I did. What's the matter with you? Come on, pull it together, Wolfgang. She's great. Why are you wearing that? He's got on little yellow shorts, man. They're not jean shorts, Frankie. I know, but they're weird. I got these at Nordstrom's. No, you didn't. Yellow shorts in Munich. Oh, the Nordstrom in Munich, baby. It's called Nordstra. Nordstra. They look like that for a toddler, dude. What is a toddler, Frankie? How come you got your shirt unbuttoned to your belly button, bro? You should talk. You've got yours buttoned all the way down your chest, Frankie. I know, but I got a hairy chest, right? Oh, I love it. It's like a scrub. I like to scrub. That guy weirds me out, Pepper. Chill out, Frankie. You're telling me. Oasis. Oasis? Yeah. I don't know this one. Probably because I only know the two hits. It's a deep cut. Speaking of other countries...

3:39:49There's a lot of food that they have in other countries that I wish they had here. Oh, yeah. Like Sienna was talking about. They got tamales and chimichangas. It's not the same. It's not the same. Well, I want to tell you about this thing that Sienna went through great trouble to get. I haven't gotten it yet, but I will. You're going to get it. Classic. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. We may not be able to lower the cost of gas, but we can do something about how many miles you will drive per gallon. Stop by your local Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts store today and let us help you increase the performance of your car or truck.

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3:45:39Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Honest Tea is giving you a chance to win a weekend at Coachella. Come to one of the random acts of kindness at Henry's Market for your chance to win. Plus, find out how to score an Honest Tea Respect the Earth reusable tote bag. Check out FM949SD.com for all the details. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and evil. I, to my credit, Steve Woods have a hole in one. Lauren. I just don't like the way beef tastes at all. Sienna. I made reservations for us last night. And Jay. I'm so tired. On FM 94.9. Uh, Sam, some Ryan Adams. Yep. Listen to this velvet voice. Do we have a meeting today with sales or no? Maybe. I'd love to. I'd love to meet them. Do we or no? How long have we been here? I didn't hear of anything. Where's Jay? Jay? Jay knows everything. Do we have a meeting with sales? We, uh, they have a meeting at 1030. Uh, I asked, uh, Owen if we,

3:47:29We're requested to sit in. He said maybe just the very first part of it. I thought we were. Yeah. We'll find out for sure. I don't know. Garrett's going to be in a little late today, so I don't know. And when I get in. Hey, Woods, you keep your eyes on your own paper, pal. Keep your eye on your own paper. Wear your skin like a hat. I'm going to use you like my own personal hand puppet, pal. That's right. Make your face into a purse for my wife. All right? You keep it up. I talked to Garrett yesterday for like 15 minutes and I love talking to the dude. I know. He's so positive. He loves us. He loves you guys. He loves everybody, man. He's just, he's the greatest. Our program director. But when I hear his voice, I just start to laugh because we. And he knows it. He knows it. Even when he like, he can't say Detroit now. If I hear the word Detroit, I start laughing. You know, back in Detroit. Back in Detroit. It's the best. It's the best. thing ever. I love it. We need to get Garrett on the mic. Garrett, maybe you show up before 10 one day. Listen to Garrett at 8 o'clock. He works late. He works till like 11. He does. I'm just breaking his balls. Yeah, he's on at 8. I had heard his voice on the air and then when he called me, I was like, whoa. Garrett Michael? From 8 o'clock, Al.

3:48:58Yeah. When he called me to be like, Lauren, this is Garrett Michaels. You were like, oh, my gosh. The Garrett Michaels? No, I was like, oh, my gosh. I love him. I love you, Garrett. I did the same thing when Mike called me, too. Who? I did. Who's this? I did. Yeah. That was the only way I knew it was actually you. Because I have the big radio voice? Because you went into your tattoo. Hello. Is this Lauren? Lauren. Hello, Lauren. My name is Mikey, and I am coming to see if you would like to be on my radio. I thought it was a fake Facebook. Let's see. Creeper. You did? Well, okay, your YouTube video was Weird Lights in Carlsbad. Nothing that had anything to do with, like, the radio, Mikey's show. I still don't know how to use YouTube. Yeah. I still don't. Like, I still need to ask.

3:50:00people how do you use it i'd like to in fact on my iphone if you videotape something as soon as you're done videotaping it has this thing where it says upload to youtube really don't even know how it works try it i would love to but i don't know how it works you know how youtube works uh-uh i've never uploaded anything i i've did it that one time and it took me like an hour to do that thing and i was like i'm never doing this again i'm never doing this again And even when I wrote you on YouTube, I was like, I don't know if this went to her. I don't know how to check it again. Here's my phone number because I don't know if this actually works or if I'll get it. It's the worst. Sienna has some things that you should not be buying in bulk. I do. Tomatoes. Cheese. Heroin. Heroin. No, there are things that you wouldn't expect like brown rice. Why? Because brown rice has a lot of oil in it, and I guess it goes bad. A lot of people think if you open a packet of brown rice, you definitely need to put it in the refrigerator. Really? Good, because I hate it anyway. I did not know that. I know. No worries. I have a bag of brown rice sitting in my pantry that's open. Will it stink? It says it contains a lot of oil. Smell it.

3:51:16I just love to say that. Smell it. How come when stuff stinks, we give it to people and go, here, smell this. It smells so bad. Oh, dude, this tastes so gross. Try it. Taste this. Yeah. Why don't we do that? Candy. We do it because of candy? No. So in other words, if I eat something and it's gross and I go, this tastes gross, taste it. Candy. People are like, okay, give me candy and I'll do it. But candy is something that you shouldn't buy in bulk. Why? Because I'll eat it. Exactly. Is that why they say it? That's why. True story. Whatever. If you have a lot of candy like that, you are going to eat all of that candy because you're like, I don't want to waste it. I bought it. I am. If you made a list of all of the people in the world and who likes candy the least, I'm in that top 10 percentile of people who don't care. Really? Don't like it, don't care, whatever. If somebody said to me, okay, great, then you'd never get to eat a piece of candy again. Okay. So what do you want in your Easter basket then? I want candy. Because I'll tell you why. Because it's cute and it makes me feel loved. So I would like a little. Now, does a chocolate bunny count as candy? I don't like those. It does. I don't like a hollow chocolate bunny. They have to be hollow. They have to be hollow. Disgusting. Hollow. Hollow. I hate that. Hollow. Hollow bunny. What else? Paper towels and toilet paper. What? Why would you not buy that in bulk? Of course you buy it in bulk. Silverfish? No. Oh.

3:52:41How creepy are those things? Are we saying any word? What's silverfish? They eat paper. Silverfish are those little bugs. Tractors? Are they the brown bugs that stink? They eat glue and paper and long and skinny. A lot of legs. Never seen it. They eat glue and paper. Why are you not supposed to buy that in bulk? Because they'd take up so much room. Get it. Oh. I'm just letting you know. She didn't write it. This is not my letter. I can't even look at you. You're wrong. Wrong. I'm going to shake my head at you. You get out of here. It is. I went to Costco and I bought like a huge thing of paper towels and then I got home and I was, you know, so excited. Like, I'm not going to have my paper towels for months. Wrong. You were not excited. But then I was like, oh, where do I put all of these? I had to stick them in three different places. We stick them in the garage. Yep. Then everybody? Todd doesn't let me put anything in the garage. Really? It's his man cave. It's his man cave. If I do, I'll put like some decorations and he's like, because he has a proper place for everything in there. My wife is, I'm not kidding you, she is a stellar homemaker. My wife does, when it comes to homemaking, she's got it down to a science. One thing that she'll forget from time to time is to put the new toilet paper on. That's like my job, right? And so I will be...

3:53:58Toilet burglar. What does that mean? It means I go in there, I go into the bathroom, and there's no toilet paper. I'm like, really? And so I have to rob... After you've already filed the papers? No, no, before, before. So I got to rob Peter. I got to rob Peter to pay Paul. So I'm going through the other... This is how lazy I am. Instead of going... And getting a new role from outside in the garage. I'll go to another bathroom. Really? And I'll be like. That is awful. And I'll tear off what I need. Why don't you just take the whole role? Or sometimes I'll take the role. He's running upstairs with a handful of people. Yeah. Well, the other day. Running over the paper in his hand. So this happened the other day. So the other day, I get home. Oh, this was. I'm so sorry, Rebecca. Now, this was the worst. And Jamie. This was the worst. I come home. I came home the other day. And all I want to do as a man when you get home is you want to get nude with your laptop. You leave me alone. You grab a magazine and go file some papers. It's a standard bit. I don't understand that routine thing. That's a whole other topic. So I get home and I go upstairs and right in front of the bathroom door is my wife's mirror where she puts her makeup on. Her vanity.

3:55:19And she's there putting the makeup on. I'm like, oh, God. Abort. Abort. Abort. And I'm like. Don't you have somewhere you have to be? So I go downstairs. Yeah, no. I'm like, honey, they're giving away free, like, coach purses downstairs right now. Free scoop at Baskin Robbins. Come on. I'll give you $100 to go. $100 to let me leave. So I go. And I go downstairs. And right as I get downstairs, our. Nanny walks in the front door. I'm like, time to get nude. I guess I'm picturing a tent outside. I seriously was ready to go camping. Digging a hole in the backyard. I'm going to Julian. Remember what I told you at the surf shop yesterday? Speaking of routine. I don't even want to know. Let's just leave that alone. Can I tell you guys the last things not to buy in bulk? There's only a couple more. Nuts, because they expire within two months. Who would have known that? I didn't know that. Mayo and other condiments, they usually only last about six months. Wait, mayo only lasts six months? Uh-huh. That's what it says. Whole other topic. Salad dressing. Whole other topic about how long we let things go. You let things go a long time, right, Hill? Oh, yeah. Yesterday, speaking of...

3:56:37Our nanny, she was cleaning out the pantry, and she said, there's an unopened box of crackers here that says the expiration is June of 2009. Is that okay? I said, it is with me. No way. I go, check with the boss. Because Rebecca's going to be the one. And I know, if it says June 31st, 2009, on 7-1 of 2009, those are gone. Oh, yeah. That's my mom, too. Hillary, do you keep stuff? Yeah. Yeah. Me, too. I just I think expiration dates are like those companies covering their butts. Like, I think they put it way ahead of time. It's a suggestion. I mean, you can you know when something's bad. Absolutely. Yeah. You know how you know you go. Exactly. You know how you know when you read the date. That's how you know. And you toss it immediately. We taste everything. Well, it's good to do. I'm so wasteful. The other day, okay, so my husband just got the wires off and he's like, oh, I'm dying for a tuna fish sandwich. And I was like, babe, we have like brand new mayonnaise. We have tuna, everything you need. He's all, brand new mayonnaise. When did we get it? And I was like, it was like the end of January. Yeah, no way. Really? No way. You throw it out? I'd go to 7-Eleven and get a fresh jar. Really? Yeah. It doesn't smell. I mean, I guess mayonnaise you don't want to mess with, but it smelled fine. Well, yeah. I mean, the difference is, is like you eat some

3:58:02bad mayo or some bad tuna or some bad something. I mean, it ain't going to be pretty. You'll be filing a lot of papers after that. I'll tell you, I was going to make a sandwich a week ago, took out this turkey. What kind of sandwich was Rebecca going to make you? No, it was me. Took out this turkey, unwrapped the package, put the turkey on the bread, and I was like, not so sure about that turkey. Yeah, that kind of stuff scares me. If you're questioning it, yeah, no way. Yeah. I'm like, is turkey supposed to be slick? Is it supposed to have this little layer of gel on the top of it? Yeah, when it gets slimy, you got to toss it. I'm like, is turkey supposed to smell like bleach? That's awful. It's kind of like turkey, but it's also a bit like ammonia. It'll clean your insides. That's right. The lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Hill, what do you have today?

3:59:01What do you got? You know I grabbed some Clash. The Clash, I was just going to say. There you go. But I'm going to play Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros and Muse and another new song off the new Gorillaz record. We've been playing Stylo so much. There's another song on it that I really like. So I brought it in. I'm going to play it. There you go. A little bit. Yeah. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. Mikey's show is out. Fake. Financial media's day. Out the music all day and night. FM 94.9. Out the music.