The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 04/02/10
Friday, April 2, 2010
Friday April 2, 2010
Sienna’s birthday starts off the show. Danny was there to present her with gifts from M1Site. Sienna talks about the pirates “wanted to get crazy” with a U.S. battleship, which meant Mikey had her re-tell the “do you want to get crazy” babysitting story. Hoyle breaks down the difference between Spanish and Mexican. Some poor schmuck became a multi-billionaire for five hours due to a bank error. Proving to be one of the funniest bits of the day was Sienna’s Little Whiz Pop Quiz starring a boy named Jace, a future stand up comedian who confidently tells Sienna the Easter Bunny comes from Uranus! Susanna stops by to shower Woods with love and a homemade Easter basket. Mikey plays the audio of Sean Merriman getting pranked by ESPN crew. Arguably the best Incorporator yet has him calling up a pet store where his cheesy laugh after using the chosen words in jokes is hilarious. The Kid then tells the story of how he ruined not just a hotel room, but the entire hotel by flooding it! Once again, listen to hear Papa Woods call in and how Woodsie escaped financial responsibility for it. Bumblebee talk leads to an important lesson from Jay. Sienna sings and gets 2 out of 3. Woods accused Miley Virus of being a farty girl. Frankie invites Woods to watch the movie 300 then go see the new Clash of the Titans. When it comes to parenting, don’t count on The Kid to change diapers. Topper invades the studio to hit on Sienna and brag about his yacht. Jay gets a good crack in during a M1’s call about stealing condoms right next to the candy section. Sienna’s news story about a bird stuck in a car’s grill brings out Donald Duck. Do age gaps in relationships really matter all that much? Mikey’s testimony on this Good Friday has him tell a story he never told before.
Bumper Music
1. Fleetwood Mac – “Second Hand News”
2. Pearl Jam – “Elderly Woman Behind The Counter”
3. Sponge – “Molly (Sixteen Candles)”
4. Troy Cassar-Daley – “Bow River”
5. Metro Station – “Shake It”
6. Dramarama – “Anything, Anything”
7. INXS – “The One Thing”
8. Liz Phair – …”Supernova”
9. Citizen Cope – “Bullet And A Target”
10. Marcy Playground – “Sex And Candy”
11. Bob Marley – “Easy Skankin’ ”
12. Duran Duran – “Hungry Like The Wolf”
13. The Beatles – “Yellow Submarine”
14. Angus & Julia Stone – “The Beast”
15. Peter, Bjorn and John – “Young Folks”
16. Prince – “7”
birthday celebrationsleep deprivationEaster pranksshark sightingsMean Gene’s closer bitNFL Network prankbank account glitchIncorporator gameRonald McDonald retirement debateFort Woods hotel flood storysharkeaster prank
Host Mikey kicked off the show celebrating Sienna’s birthday with gifts from M1s like cupcakes from Brock and cornbread from Cali Core. Woodsy described his sleepless night after neighbors beatboxed all night, prompting his first ever call to police, while Pepper (Lauren) revealed she’d skipped Matt’s Easter basket, leading Jay and Woodsy to surprise her with a chocolate bunny. Later, Danny warned of a dangerous seven‑gill shark, Mean Gene shared his “closer” bit from Barcelona, and the NFL Network pranked Sean Merriman with a fake celebration rule, before Sienna told the story of Paul Fisher’s brief $89 billion bank glitch and the crew played the Incorporator game with Woodsy slipping words like cellulite into a pet‑store chat.
What happened, in order
Sienna Birthday Surprise
Mikey opens the show celebrating Sienna’s upcoming birthday, describing gifts from listeners and M1s such as red‑velvet cupcakes from Brock, cornbread from Cali Core, and a motherhood gift card.
Woodsy's Sleepless Night
Woodsy shares his exhaustion after a night of neighbors beatboxing, leading him to call the police for the first time.
Easter Basket Prank
Pepper (Lauren) reveals she wasn’t getting her boyfriend Matt anything for Easter, prompting Jay and Woodsy to surprise her with a basket and chocolate bunny.
Seven Gill Shark Alert
Danny the surfer warns of a rare, aggressive seven‑gill shark spotted off San Diego, advising listeners to stay out of the water.
Mean Gene's Closer Bit
Mean Gene calls from Barcelona to describe the “closer” bit where a kid in a Superman costume bursts through a door to music.
Sean Merriman NFL Prank
The NFL Network pranks Sean Merriman with a fake rule change about excessive celebrations, leaving him rattled before revealing it’s an April Fool’s joke.
Paul Fisher’s Bank Glitch
Sienna recounts how Paul Fisher briefly saw $88,888,888,888.88 in his SunTrust account due to a technical error that lasted five hours.
Kids’ Easter Bunny Theory
Young interviewees claim the Easter Bunny gets its eggs from Uranus, teleports, and kicks down doors to deliver candy.
Susanna’s Palm Leaf Basket
Accounting intern Susanna presents Mikey with a handmade Easter basket crafted from cured palm leaves, real grass sod, and homemade chocolates.
Incorporator Challenge
Woodsy successfully incorporates listener‑submitted words like “cellulite” and “Elmo’s World” into a pet‑store conversation without breaking character.
Ronald McDonald Debate
The crew discusses a Boston group’s campaign to retire Ronald McDonald over unhealthy food, weighing the clown’s charitable role against health concerns.
Fort Woods Hotel Flood Story
Mikey recounts Woodsy’s infamous hotel‑sprinkler accident in Arizona that flooded an entire property, leading to a $25,000+ bill and the nickname “Teflon Woods”.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyPepperLaurenSiennaJayAntoineDannyBrockCali CoreM1 VladimirMean GeneSean MerrimanPaul Fisher
40,981 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
KBCT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Welcome to a Friday. It's a Mikey Show with a live studio. Welcome to the program, everybody. And just so you know, it's kind of different today, too, because Sienna's birthday is tomorrow. And so... We're sort of celebrating Sienna's birthday today. Oh, my goodness. So many nice things. That's right. She's going to need a truck to get all the stuff out of here. Oh, my gosh. You guys are so nice. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff in here. And let me tell you, the listeners made it right. Yeah, they did. The M1s made it right. And they came in bearing gifts, all kinds of gifts. All kinds of gifts. Just made my day. Yeah.
And I looked up, I saw a lot of old friends, and it's just really cool. My friend Antoine is here. And it's so cool, too, because I looked up and I was like, wow, there's a lot of Facebook friends that I'm seeing here, you know? And there are people that are fans of our Facebook page on Facebook. Go to search Mikey Show, the Mikey Show on Facebook, and you can join our fan page there. M1 Danny is in here. M1site.com. He dialed it in. Danny, you got to come over to Mike. Tell everybody what you brought today. All the different things. So we got some red velvet cupcakes, first of all, from M1 Brock. Right. Nice. So good. On Monday, you guys were talking about cornbread. So we got M1. Sorry, not P1. M1. Cali Core to bake some cornbread for you. Yes. Thank you. Love it. We got a gift card for motherhood for Sienna. For the baby that's coming. Nice.
And we got a framed picture with all the M1s who helped donate. That is so cool, dude. Sienna wanted to get crazy. That is so great. I'm thinking I should leave it here, but I want it up in my house. I found the wall in my bedroom. It's so great. It's so great. So we got a full house in here today. And it's a big show. We got so much stuff lined up for you. Quick introduction. My name is Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 39 years old. Our boy Woodsy is sitting directly across from me. He is 34 years old. Had a doozy of a day yesterday. And a night. And a night. And a night. Got about three hours sleep last night. That's about an hour and a half longer than I really got. Yeah. And I guess they were beatboxing the music last night. Yeah. The neighbors. All night. Yeah. And so finally had to call the cops, right? Yeah, sure did. First time? First time I've ever called the cops? You know, first time you've kicked... Yeah, right. Definitely the first time I've ever called the cops. Yeah. Usually it's the other way around. Yeah. So, yeah, first time I ever called the cops. And I guess they came. I don't know. Because it stopped. It stopped. But I'm really nervous about going home later. Oh, boy. You can take them. That's right. Hopefully they're fans of the show. Oh. Listening right now. Hopefully. Yeah, for sure.
Let's see. Pepper O'Brien is the girl sitting to my right. Her real name happens to be Lauren. Happens to be. And we like to call her Pepper. And there's a little something going on right now for Pepper that Pepper doesn't really know about. Some gifts for me. Jay and I decided. Oh, my gosh. Lauren announced yesterday that she's not going to get her boyfriend, Matt, anything for Easter. And Jay and Woodsy just couldn't deal with that. You know, the funny thing is Jay and I didn't even talk about it. No. We just both did it. We just know. We just know. Woodsy brought in a whole basket and Jay has a huge chocolate bunny. Yeah. I think now he'll survive. I think he was. Probably close to dying before of the thought of not getting an Easter basket. Happy Easter, man. Maybe now he'll survive. Happy Easter, bro. He's going to have a very jolly day on Sunday. I tried to put a bottle of scotch in there for you, but I couldn't find a liquor store that was open that late. Oh, it's really funny. Well, there you go. Yeah, there was a lot of discussion about that yesterday. See...
Pepper doesn't believe in the institution of Easter baskets. That's not true. That is not true. For children, she does. For children. For children. Right. Not for grown-ups. Since when did Easter become a couple's holiday? All holidays are couple's holidays. Well, wait a minute. Well, wait a minute. I mean, if we use that logic, she doesn't necessarily believe in couple's holidays either. You know what I mean? Exactly. The Valentine's Day. No, I believe in the holiday. Yeah. You just don't believe in recognizing it. I don't have to get a red heart-shaped box of candies. To let him know that you love him. To let him know, yeah. We spend a weekend together. There you go. It doesn't hurt, though. That's right. It hurts. She hates us. I know. She gets so bad. That's a beautiful basket. It makes for a nice barricade. Thank you. A nice barricade. We don't even have to look at each other all day. That's fantastic. Now Woods and Lauren have a wall between them. A bunny wall. Sienna's our news girl, and she will be 25 years old tomorrow. Yes. How about that? Getting up there. I can rent a car. Really? I can go on a cruise by myself. Wait a minute. What? I did not know that there was a minimum age to rent a car. Yeah, apparently so. 25. Really? Yes. Didn't know that. I'm a big girl now. That's right.
Got married, having a baby. Now I can rent a car. You're like an adult now. I am. No joke. I know. You're like a for real adult. And also we have our boy Jay on the show. He is our producer. And you can speak to Jay if you call right now. 570-1949. What just fell down? That's been falling down. Fell down all the time. Don't even worry about it. Don't worry about it. It fell down this morning. We don't deal with that, so it's okay. Jay, grab the DeWalt. Get in here and make it right. Yeah, Jay, grab some pencils and come in here and fashion a couple of nails and a hammer. Yep. Anyway, so... Woods has a box of Krispy Kreme donuts to himself that he's already dug into and has not even showed anyone else. Have you been feasting on that? You know that. Krispy Kreme all morning. So good. So. There's still a little warm. Okay. Well, thanks for sharing. Yeah. By the way. It was. When are we surfing? Do we know when we're surfing? When are we surfing? We should go today. I'm in. Yes. Let's. I don't know. Let us go. Actually, it rained, though. It might be all dirty. It didn't rain that bad. It didn't rain that bad. Even Bird said. I thought Bird said that if it. Well, he said if it rains. Give it a couple of days.
But it didn't rain very much. It rained a lot yesterday. Danny, what do you think? Danny's a surfer. You say go. Good to go? Yeah, just stay away from the river mouth. Well, you guys know what's swimming around out there, right? Do you go? Yeah. Meaning another one, by the way. There's been a rare shark spotting off the coast of San Diego. Really? Yes. What are you talking about? Well, there's a new shark. Now, this is really rare for these kinds of sharks to be over in San Diego. But the seven gill shark. People have been seeing a lot of them. What do you mean a lot of them? A lot of them. How many of those gills does it take to swallow us alive? They can grow about 10 feet long. I can't go. And they are aggressive. Mike, I can't go, dude. I'm not going. Mikey's face just went, oh, I just got a wetsuit. For real? A seven-gill aggressive shark? Now they say... They'll swim real close to you. They'll freak you out. But only if you mess with them. Don't mess with them, and then they'll leave you alone. Really? Like Woods and his neighbors? He's not going to mess with anybody, right? Right. Get and kick towards the shark. No, I will scream like Frankie and Jersey. That'll be me. Come here, yo.
Within the last year, there's been over a dozen of them spotted, the seven gills, and there was one spotted just the other day. No way. Does it say how close to the shore they are? No. No, it doesn't say. Close enough to spot. Divers were the ones that saw them. That's terrifying. Oh, my God. I'm terrified. Just don't provoke them. Yeah. Just keep your eyes on your own paper. Yeah, keep your eyes on your own paper. Me and Mike just looking like penguins out there swimming. Exactly. You guys will look just like seals. They'll love it. They'll be like, oh, they'll look at me and they'll be like, oh, my gosh, it's Thanksgiving. Stop it. Look at that giant burrito of a penguin. No, they'll be like, that would look so happy. I don't want to bother that one. Are you kidding? They're going to be like, there's going to be leftovers for two weeks. Here's the deal. If both of us were out there and it was going to get one of us, you know who it's coming after. Me. Me. Woods 100. Do you not know this guy? 100%. Why am? Everyone messes with this guy. Oh, that's true. You attract stuff. Yeah, you're a human chum. Yeah, I am a human chum. Stay close to somebody. How good of friends are you guys? Don't wander off. Say a seven-gill comes up to both of you when you're standing there holding each other. I'd push him off his board and run, is what I did. 100%. I think he would, too. I love you to death, pal, but I'm saving myself. There's no doubt. There's no question. Write that down. Lips goes in the water. Sharks in the water.
That's bad news. Bad news. Oh, wow. Bad news. Forget it. Don't worry about it. This is M1 Vladimir. What's up, Vladimir? Hey, how are you guys doing today? Good. Hey, I just want to go ahead and say double congratulations. Of course, the baby, I didn't get a chance to congratulate you. Thank you. That is complete. That was totally awesome. Also, happy birthday. Thank you. Yeah, you're really having a day. It's been a great week. I just couldn't be more grateful. Our listeners are the best. Absolutely. I mean, the best. The best. Thank you, man. We appreciate it. Thank you very much, you guys. Keep on rocking on, all right? Happy Easter. Happy Easter. You can call or you can text. 949mikey at gmail.com is how you get a hold of us by text. And if you want to call, 570-1949. Apparently... The U.S. Navy intercepted some pirates. Yeah, more crazy stuff happened in the ocean, but this was in the Indian Ocean. The USS Nicholas was just cruising along, and some Somali pirates thought it was a good idea to approach this U.S. warship. Probably not. Not a good idea, no. They normally go after some small little boat carrying cargo, but this time they decided to go after the warship, and it was not a good decision. The USS Nicholas had...
as three of their men, detained three of their men, sunk their ship, and, yeah, they were screwed. Yeah. You don't mess with them. I mean, it's basically they're, like, younger guys that are doing it, and I guess they're on the water for so long, they say sometimes they just, like, are oblivious to what's going on. They just want to fire and get crazy. Right when I said to get crazy, I immediately went, oh, no. It's a great story. One time. So great. Sienna was babysitting, and one of the boys that she... Well, you weren't babysitting the boy, but you were babysitting the boy's younger brother. No, the little girl that I was watching had a significantly older brother who was a year younger than me. He came home from work a little early when I was still there. Then you guys were just sitting there, hanging out. Watching TV. The little girl was asleep. Nothing wrong here. We were friends. Yeah, you guys were friends. It wasn't a big deal. What were you watching? Like Home Improvement or something? Of course. I don't even remember. Of course. Something like that. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Of course. I'm like, ooh, Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Obviously something that got this kid really riled up. Really excited. Real frisky. Oh, no. And he looked at you and he goes, you want to get crazy? No. He says, do you want to get crazy? That one word makes a difference. It does. I don't know. I think it's good bit. No, it's not.
No, it's not. Not when I'm at home babysitting. Do you want to get crazy? Hey. Oh, it's creepy. Do you want to get crazy? Do you remember... No, no, I don't, actually. Do you remember how you answered that? No. You just said, no, I don't. I was like, um... Dude, I'm watching your sister right now. No. She's asleep. Don't worry about it. And I wouldn't want to anyway. Don't worry about it. She's asleep. No, it was like, I don't even know what came over him. So creepy. I don't know what made him think it was okay. Stop. This is creeping me out. Yeah. Thank you. When you said that, did he just go, okay. No, you're like. He, you know, he like chilled out for a minute and then he kept trying. He didn't say anything. Of course he did. No, he was like, oh, you know, all right. And then he like, you know, just kept talking, like playing it cool. And then he kept trying again. Are you sure you don't want to? Yeah. Sure. So, yeah. Are you sure you were in baby woods? Yeah. It could have been me. Baby woods. Baby woods in the house. Yeah. He goes, hey, in the last three minutes, did anything change?
Are you feeling a little crazier now than you were three minutes ago? Because I know you're thinking about it. I know you are. I think I was like a sophomore in high school or something like that. He was a freshman. Yeah, I know. Three minutes ago, you were feeling sane. But now, do you want to get crazy? I know. It's three minutes ago, man. Poor guy. M1 Mean Gene's on the line. What's up, Mean Gene? Hey, what's up, guys? How y'all doing? Good, dude. What's up? Hey, man. I just wanted to call a chick on the kid. Heard he had a little neighbor problem last night. I sure did. My call screen says that you're calling from Spain. Is that true? Yeah, I'm in Barcelona right now. That's the dude, yeah. Is this M1 Gene? Mean Gene. Mean Gene. You're calling from Barcelona, Spain. Barcelona. Unbelievable. How are the tapas? I don't know. I just got back from the beach about 10 minutes ago. I am burnt. They're like nine hours ahead. Yeah, is it 3 p.m. there?
Yeah, about 312, something like that. Wow. For the benefit of listeners that don't know, what are you doing in Barcelona, Spain? I am on an internship right now with the American Embassy, with the Department of State. And we're on vacay right now because of the Easter holidays. And so I figured I'd take a trip down, you know, see Barcelona, see how it's going down here with the Spaniards. That's nice. That's nice. They don't eat enchiladas, so it's all good. I told you guys last week that they don't eat enchiladas in Spanish. Right. But Mikey's Mexican, and I told him, why don't you speak Mexican? He's like, oh, I don't. I would speak Spanish. And I was like, you don't live in Spain. That's right. He don't understand that. I think you don't understand that. Yeah, you don't understand that. Yeah, I don't live in Spain. Of course I don't. That ain't funny. Well, Mean Gene, what were you calling about? He was checking on the kid. Yeah, you were checking to see if Woods is okay? Yeah, man, like it reminded me so much of when he was talking about his neighbors. When I was in Virginia, we had this, well, he would call a bit. Well, it's called the closer. The closer bit. Yeah. What's the closer? We had this kid. He was like maybe, he was about Mikey height. A little guy. He's like a five-year-old. Yeah, so like a five-year-old, exactly. A little dude.
Real big dude. And we would dress him up in a Superman costume, which is basically a Speedo and a cape. Under his. And we would set up like a scenario or whatever, and we'd have him bust through the door because he couldn't get done. And there'd be this music happening. He goes, dun-da-da-dun. The closer. Genius. Yeah. That sounds like Woods to a T. What do you think, Woods? That's what he needs. Here's the deal. Starts to not get sleep. I'm like, I'm the worst human on this earth. Incredible Hulk. Like, seriously, I'm the worst human. Like, bad mood? Uh-oh. There's nothing worse, though. You just gave me that look that went, dude, what do you think? I mean, today, I have the eject button ready to go. Are you serious? Yeah, dude, when I don't sleep, I ask my wife. She's like... Okay, I'm leaving you alive. There's nothing worse, though, when you're trying to fall asleep and you can't. And you know you need to and you're just counting down when your alarm is going to go off. Yeah. Because your lungs are bouncing against your rib cage. I go. And then I get. Louder. Louder. I'm like, oh, dude, you have no idea the words that were coming out of my mouth last night. I used my feet to kick on the wall. So what's it going to be like for us today, then? It's going to be great. No, we have.
We have an audience in here, so I think he'll be on his best behavior. Not necessarily. I don't think so. I don't necessarily see that. I'm telling you, dude. Every night this week. I'm Jack Nicholson in The Shining right now. Great. I'm starting to lose it. Great. When are you moving out? Three weeks. There you go. Thanks, Mean Gene. We appreciate it. All right, dude, I got to go. This whiskey ain't going to drink itself. Adios. This whiskey ain't going to drink itself. He's in Barcelona. He just came back from the beach. Yeah. Drinking whiskey. Sunburn. Sunburn. Yeah. I brought my own whiskey. Yeah. That's huge. That's fantastic. Tell everybody, Sienna, tell everybody about the April Fool's yesterday in New York. Well, first of all, you guys, what is something that Californians have that no one else has? It has to do with food. In-N-Out. Well done. Yeah. It is In-N-Out. Nice. Well, some people decided it'd be a good idea to play a prank on all of New York because, you know, everyone wants some In-N-Out. When they come to California, they want to drive through In-N-Out. There's some exceptions, Mikey. I know you're one of those rare birds that don't like In-N-Out. Me and Mike. Boo on you. Yeah, I think it's a good hamburger. It's just not my favorite.
And the fries are good for about five minutes. Once they come out of that boiling oil, they're good for five minutes. Stop it. But after five minutes, they're as useless as pencils. I don't understand anything you're saying right now. You might as well be eating a pencil. It's hard. It becomes hard and cold. They're fresh and crispy. Yeah, you just have to eat them so that when you're eating them, you're like... Just start taking a standardized test. Yeah, basically, yeah. It becomes a number two pencil. I'm upset right now. So overrated. I'm upset right now. So what happened? Well, this is so great. No one knew why, but all over New York City, there was posters saying, In-N-Out coming soon. In-N-Out coming soon. People were dressed as In-N-Out employees walking the streets, handing out flyers, saying In-N-Out coming soon. Go to the website. Here, here, here. Go to, you know, the In-N-Out website it's going to say. And I guess there was some fake website created that's saying, yeah, it's coming to New York City. In-N-Out. That's a lot of money on a prank. And people were going nuts. They were like, oh my gosh, In-N-Out's coming. Yes. That's awesome. Well, In-N-Out is not coming to New York. Really? And In-N-Out, the...
Company is not the one that put on the prank. It was actually College Humor. Oh, yeah. That did it. They went through and did all of that. That's funny. Yeah. That is funny. Mike? Yeah, I'm sure they thought it was hysterical. In-N-Out was mad, though, because people took it so literally. Of course. And they were like, and it's coming. And they had to issue this huge apology saying, I'm sorry, we don't know who's behind this. It's staying in California. Woodsy. You know who got got yesterday? Real good. Who? Your boy, Bark Mylman. Really? It's his birthday today. Happy birthday, Bark. Yeah. All right. Somebody put a fake Craigslist ad that said monkey for sale. Gave his real cell phone. Gave his real cell phone. I talked to him last night. They had the exact name. They had a picture of the monkey. No. He got 75 phone. Oh, dude. How hysterical is that? He called me last night. Up. In arms. Oh, he must have been furious. Is he going to change his number? No. And he doesn't know who did it, right? He has an idea. He does. But imagine that first... It wasn't you, was it? No. Time for that? I'm not getting any sleep. Time to prank Bauman. Imagine that first phone call. I mean, Bauman. You know, like... Yeah, he's like, what? Hello? Who? Monkey. I want to buy your monkey. What are you even... I don't... What? Who is this? There was a picture of it.
And it had, please call Mark at this number. 70? He said he got 70 calls the first day. Are you kidding? That's the greatest thing. Isn't that great? Oh, he must have been mad. You just gave so many people good ideas for next year. Yeah, knowing him, he must have been coming out of his skin so angry. Let's see. 570-1949 is our number. Or you could text us. Text Mikey. Or no, it's actually 949Mikey, gmail.com. Here's the thing. Speaking of pranks. Sean Merriman got pranked. We'll do this later on in the show. But Sean Merriman got pranked by NFL Network yesterday. Hardcore. That was a good one. And he got a little mad. You don't want to mess with that guy. He got a little mad. And so we'll be telling you all about it. Pepper's picking the music today. And I'm already liking the first one. One for one. Oh, yeah. The two. Oh, I love this. Second-hand news, Fleetwood Mac. Make some noise in here in the live studio. Wait till I tell you how much money showed up in this guy's bank account. It was actually in his bank account for five hours until it was resolved. And I want to know what you would do if you had this much money in your bank account on mistake for five hours. Would you spend it? Would you do something about it? What would you do? And one of the coolest draws that we have really right now to go to a Padre game is being...
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trial plus a free refining face mask call toll free now 1-800-244-1946 that's 1-800-244-1946 attention to all americans struggling with medical bills and credit card debt due to the economic crisis a program approved by the united states government now may eliminate 100 of your medical bills and credit card debt entirely This program is now available to the general public through the Chapter 7 Federal Bankruptcy Act and here to offer Americans a fresh start during these hard economic times. We have one goal in mind with this program, and that is to allow Americans to keep their homes, cars, and personal property while eliminating 100% of your debts for good. For more information and to see if you qualify for this government-approved program, call the American Bankruptcy Hotline today, 800-304-0661. Over 1.5 million Americans are expected to take advantage of this opportunity this year alone. While the economy is getting worse and worse, there is no better time than now to file bankruptcy on your debts and walk away from 100% of it for good through this program. For more information, call America's Bankruptcy Hotline now. 800-304-0661. 800-304-0661. Again, that's 800-304-0661. Hey, Jack, sorry.
bug you, where do you usually get your car service? Same place I told you yesterday, Lisa. Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Thanks. Oh, hi, Molly. You bought a Toyota, right? Yeah, from Toyota Carlsbad. Where do you get it serviced? At Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Ooh, Billy, where... Where everyone else goes, Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Sorry, but getting your car serviced right the first time is a big deal. That's why we all go to Toyota Carlsbad's new parts and service facility. Master trained service technicians. Genuine Toyota parts. And it's the largest Toyota... authorized service facility in San Diego County. Well, I guess my choice is clear. Good. Going back to work now. Shipping. This is Doug. Doug, where do you get your car? Stop it. Working. Toyota Carlsbad. Toyota owners now get a synthetic oil change starting at $49.95 plus tax and hazardous material fee. Text Toyota Service 48696 for more specials. Visit Toyota Carlsbad New Parts and Service Center today, west of I-5 on Avenida Encinas, Carlsbad. See us online at toytacarlsbad.com. Musicians, this weekend while the kiddies hunt for eggs, you can fill your basket with amazing deals at Guitar Center. That's right. We're even open Easter Sunday with serious savings throughout the store. Like Ovation Acoustic Electrics, $100 off just $199. TASCAP handheld digital recorders, our lowest price ever, $99. It's Guitar Center's Easter weekend savings event. You'll find our deepest discount since Christmas.
time. Like complete sound percussion drum kits with hardware and cymbals. Now $1.99. Guitar Center's Easter weekend savings event. Don't miss it. Hey, Cesar Gonzalez, tell me about the Mojaros de Carne. Their roll tacos are Guerrero style. They're serving the spicy beef broth. If you have one too many brewskis, they're the cure for the hangover, bro. Mamatesta Taqueria. University Avenue and Richmond in Hillcrest. See you later. Ay, ay, ay. Why have I done? More of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Peppers picking the music today. That was for Woods. Little PJ. Elderly woman behind the counter. It makes some noise as a live studio audience. Fridays we got our live studio audience in here. It's a Mikey show and...
We got a lot of food in the studio today. Smells delicious in here. A lot of sweets. I'm sugared up. Yeah. Let's see here. Okay, so tell us about this guy, Sienna, that had some money show up in his bank account and it lasted for about five hours, you said? Poor Paul Fisher. Yes, he went onto his bank account on Friday night and saw, let's see if I can even pronounce this right, $88,888,888,888.88 in his bank account. Oh, wow. Yes, so that's close to $89 billion. I was just about to say that. What? Crazy 8s, I said. Oh, yeah, the crazy 8s, yeah. calls his bank, which I don't know if I would have done. I would not. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I would have. We're flying to Hawaii. No, we're going to Jamaica. Well, if you don't. You're toast. Yeah. You're toast. Aren't you toast? But it's their mistake. Doesn't matter. I know it's their mistake. I would try anything I had. Really? Yeah, they'd be like, it wasn't there. I'm too scared. You know what you're banking on?
Here's what you're banking on if you do it. If you do it, you're going, I believe legally I can get out of this. That's what you think. I would have taken a picture and a screenshot of the account and everything. Then I would have bailed. Yeah, and moved to Jamaica or something. You walk into the bank and you're like, I need to make a withdrawal. $70 billion. Give me $9 billion. Yeah. Fives and tens. Yeah, fives and tens. How do you even, I mean, it would be so much. It would be a truck full. It would be a cashier's check. Yeah. And then where do you cash that? You go to what, Ace Cash Express? Cash checks here. I got to pay a percentage, I know, but tens and twenties. Oh, wow. They'd make millions off of the fee. Yeah, it'll be eight million, right? That's fine. Go ahead. Just cash it. Just cash it. And I'd like to tip two mil. Throw that on there. Don't question. Just do it. Go buy a G5 and a pilot. Yeah, exactly. This was obviously a technical error by SunTrust Bank. They quickly fixed the problem the next day. Only five hours later, everything was back to normal. He had, you know, like five bucks back in there.
But this is what, I mean, imagine this guy, he owns a jewelry stand at like a fair. Like this is what he does and sells jewelry. And then. all of a sudden going to your bank account, seeing $89 billion? They should have thrown him something. I don't know. Five grand or something? For being honest? Well, this is what he said. He actually tried to do this. He said that before the problem was fixed, he asked the SunTrust if he could move the money to an interest-bearing account until it was reclaimed and donate the interest to charity. That's awesome, dude. That's a great idea. Somebody give that guy some money. The interest could have been, they said the interest could have been $7.3 million. Imagine that. Why didn't they do it? I don't know. They said no. And so he said, yep, it's all gone. I'm poor again. I was a billionaire for five hours. I can say he was a billionaire. Yeah.
That's rad. Let's see. Let's check in and see what's going on right now on the roadways. This report, it's brought to you by Napa Auto Parts. On the 52 westbound before Santo Road, we've got a car fire. It is over on the right shoulder. Then some congestion this morning on the 805 southbound between La Jolla Village Drive and the 8. Also looking at San Marcos. You've got a backup here on the 78 eastbound, San Marcos Boulevard, the westbound side. Traffic is kind of slow around. 3540 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Napa Auto Parts. Attention all lawn motorists. Hurry to a participating Napa Auto Parts store in April for their big spring battery sale. Napa lawn and garden batteries as low as $22.49 with exchange. Plus save an extra $5 after a mail-in rebate. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Ready for a little woods on sports? You know it. You know that. You know that. Woods! Woods, woods, woods! Woods, woods, woods! Well, there is some serious talk, Mike, about building the Chargers a new stadium. The city and the county have gotten together. It looks like the stars may be aligned, and one of the proposed sites is about four blocks from Petco, which would be...
Awesome. I love the downtown stadium. I've lived in Chicago for five years. Going to see a baseball game or a football game downtown, there's something about it. You take the train in or whatever. You park. It's right there in the heart of the city, man. I absolutely love it. Imagine, too, what it would look like if they were showing a Monday night football game or Sunday night football game or whatever, and they're showing a nighttime... you know, skyline shot. Money. And you see Petco. You see a brand new football stadium. How rad that would look. Right by the water. Right by the water. Money. It's beautiful, man. Got to get it done. But nobody's firmly committed to the new deal, but it appears things are moving in the right direction. There's a new proposal, Mike, for March Madness. And what they're going to do, possibly, they've outlined a deal to basically absorb the NIT tournament, have 96 teams in the tournament. Can you imagine what the brackets are going to do? It's going to take you about six to eight months to fill your bracket up. And I think what they're going to do, they're going to try to keep it around the same length of time because this thing could drag out forever. But what they're going to do is give the 32 teams first round buys. Why are they saying that they want to do that? It's a great question. It's a great question. See, because I have a theory. What's your theory? I think it's about money. Of course. And gambling. Of course. I think it's about gambling. Probably.
You're probably right. I mean, why else? They wouldn't say it, but maybe it has to do with, like, the tournament is such a big moneymaker. And also, who watches the NIT? Yeah. You know what I mean? The people that are alumni of the schools that are in the tournament. They don't even watch. Trust me. Also, Cleveland Browns nose tackle, Sean Rogers, he's been arrested. Bad move, man. You don't put your handgun. in your bag, and go to the airport. Got a .45 caliber pistol in his bag. They grabbed him. He's like, yep, you got me. Took him down without incident. He's kind of been a troublemaker, man. They busted him for taking some illegal substances before. He allegedly inappropriately touched an exotic dancer. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that. Weird. Weird. Weird. Weird. And you're being inappropriate. Of course you are. He actually may face federal charges on that gun charge. If we were a television show, if the Mikey show were also a TV show, and we could do like spoofs, I would be going to the airport and they would be like, they'd x-ray me.
I'd have a bazooka in my backpack. I'd be like, oh, I forgot. I forgot. I totally forgot. You're wheeling in a cannon? Yeah. I'm wheeling in a cannon. In a suitcase. Yeah. They're like, sir, is this your cannon? Really? Yeah. Really, sir? Exactly. Engraved on it says Mikey Esparza. Exactly. They're like, is this your samurai sword, sir? I'm like, I didn't know. It says little boots on the handle. What do you mean? Little boots? I don't know where this came from. Little Boots, is this yours? This is yours. Is this your cannon? Well, it's already started with LT and the Jets. The guy is motivated. Of course he is. He is fired up. Of course he is. They were talking to him. He went to the voluntary workouts. He's there. He's there early. He's ready to rock. Here's his quote. The things that happened in San Diego, everything was taken away from me. There wasn't an emphasis on running the football anymore. My best fullback was gone, and the linemen were pass blocking. It was a passing quarterback and a passing coach. Situation looks kind of misleading when you look on film. He's right. He's 100% right. And the dude said, you're going to get the best LT that you've ever seen. I'm going to come out and I'm going to get you. All right. Over, under, over, under 1,300 total yards from scrimmage. That line, that rushing attack, over. He's over. I think you're right. I think he's over. I think he's over, too.
It's going to be nasty. There's a quarterback there. Mark Sanchez. Mark Sanchez, who turned out to be pretty decent second year. We'll see. First year. Yeah, it was his rookie year. So this is second year. We'll see what he does. But now he's got LT in the backfield. Yep. And, well, we'll see. Well, and as we talked about in the open. The thrifty Padres fans out there will be bombs. They've done away with the five-for-five meal. Last year, you could get a hot dog, a soda, peanuts, popcorn, and a cookie for five bucks. The best deal on the block. That's a pretty good deal, man. Imagine your kids would be set the whole time you're there. Absolutely. That's everything you need. They have lowered beer prices, and they've lowered the price from the all-you-can-eat. section from $37 to $29, which is pretty cool. But that five for five, the kid was looking forward to it. You know what? I'm claiming that it's going to come back. I think that they're going to see it's going to be hard taking that away after you've given it to us. Yeah. Well, why would they take it away? Because the team did so good that there were...
Obviously, yeah. They're like, hey, listen, we don't need to offer these incentives because the team is going to the World Series. Fans are beating down the doors to get in. It might be a long year for the pods, but I'm going to be there. I'm going to be watching. I'm going to be on board. So am I. I support the Padres even though they are hurtful. They are hurtful. That's what's on sports, brother. They hurt my feelings. They do. But hopefully things will be there. And I'm glad that, Woodsy, I'm going to have you. break all the baseball stuff down for me because i like the game but don't understand the game like you do so it'd be uh cool to kind of figure the whole thing out well you're thinking man dude and like i told you that's why you'd like that's why you're gonna like golf a lot because it's a big big cerebral sport and so is baseball yeah and people say it's so boring you don't know man you don't know what's going on right now and if i tell you it's gonna make the game better for you i can't wait uh woodsy have you done your taxes yet oh yeah Did them before I came out here. Less than two weeks for people that have not, but yours are done. How about you? No, Pepper? No. You haven't done them? No, I was trying to get a new accountant this year, but I might just go back to Old Faithful, just get them done. Do them yourself? Get them done in Yellowstone? No, no, I might go back to the guy I've used for the past, like, five years. How about you, Sienna? I had the tax lady over last night. You did? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Jay? We are in the process. My wife started a company last year. Yeah. So we had all this stuff coming in. She did pretty good.
And now I'm looking at it, you know, talking to the tax guy. I'm going to have to pay 50% of the profits to tax. From the business? Yeah. Are you kidding me? How do you stay in business? How do you stay afloat? How do you stay afloat? I mean, we did. She did good, but she didn't do that good. Right. 50%. That's awful. Give me a break. Yeah. The taxes are less than two weeks that they have to be done. I remember in my 20s thinking to myself. Well, I don't think I have to do this because I'm dumb and young. Yeah, exactly. And I don't think they'll bust you if you're dumb and you're young. Got to do them. So if anything happens, I'll just be like, well, I'm only 22. Yeah. I didn't know. Nobody told me. You're going to jail, pal. Yeah. Yeah, the whole taxes thing. So a couple of things. Don't know if you know this, but there's a TV show called Man vs. Wild. Okay. And Man vs. Wild is Bear Grylls. And what he does is he used to be a member of the British Special Forces. He goes into these really hostile environments like the middle of the jungle. And he's got to survive there for a number of days. And all he has to survive is like maybe a flint and a backpack. And he's got to eat just by what he catches.
A lot of times they'll eat like grubs and things like that just to survive. It's pretty rough. It's like Lauren, what Lauren eats. That's right. That's right. My choice. Yeah. Except a little tastier. A little tastier. And so what we did is we sent Mikey Grylls out into the environment to see how he can do. I'm Mikey Grylls. I've never been a member of the British Special Forces. I barely got out of high school with a GED and I've got no experience. Except for telling jokes on the radio. I will try to survive in urban situations. Using nothing but the company's credit card. A nice one at that. My wallet. And whatever things I can find on the internet. You're listening to Urban Survival. Here I am, standing outside of an Ikea. I'm going to go inside and attempt to find a place to rest. I know they've got a lot of Scandinavian furniture in there. Truth be told. First of all, do you sleep?
speak English? Every day. Do you speak English now? No. Okay. How many fingers am I holding up? Five. That's correct. I think you're alright. Are you thirsty? Yeah, actually I am. Oh my gosh, so am I unpotched. I haven't had anything to drink in over 30 minutes. Can I tell you a personal story? Okay. By the way, if you feel unsafe at any time, I could fashion my hair into a rope and I can swing us to safety. And also, if you need me to, I can make my shoe into a hammock and we can sleep there safely. Or I can take my shoe and take the tongue of the shoe out and make it into a house where we can live forever. Okay, I'll keep that in mind. I'm going to tell you a personal story quickly. Is that all right? Yeah. I was once at a resort in Scandinavia and I ordered room service and it didn't show up for over 30 minutes. So I began to panic. By the way, if you're listening and you're ever in a situation like that, don't panic. It's the worst thing you can do. I scavenged my room. Eventually I found a can of peanuts that cost $427. Then I found a Slim Jim and a Toplerone. It was enough to last me for another hour and a half. Luckily, Sarah, I'm late to have that alive. Are you still with me? Sadly, just moments after talking to Sarah,
She was swept away by Scandinavian gypsies who sold her to a carnival. Until next time, I'm the urban survivor. Very nice. Very nice. It's an urban survivor. He's really fun. He's a really fun guy. It's crazy that there's Scandinavian gypsies in Ikea. I know. They'll sweep you away. They'll look out. They'll sell you right to the carnival. The Toblerone plays me. It's so true. Why is the Toblerone $15 at a hotel? Why do you have to have a freaking Toblerone? It's like the Bible. There's the Bible, there's the Toblerone. Yeah, they're all there. It's always there. And macadamia nuts. You have to have the nuts. Yeah, for $8. They better be real good. They're not. But you have that thing, though, when you go to a hotel where you're like, I'm starving right now. I could eat the bottom of my shoe. And you look around, you're like, oh, pretzels. Great. $90. I don't care that they're $90. I need these pretzels. That's why they do that. I swear. It's true. Of course. It's true. And I wonder if they've been there for a while. Of course. Have they? I don't restock them every day.
Well, not every day, but they have to make sure they don't expire. I can honestly say my father has never, never eaten anything from the mini bar at a hotel. Yeah, because your dad is very frugal. It's a good, nice way to put it. He's thrifty. Don't even pick it up, though, because they're weight censored. So if you pick it up and you're like, hmm, what's in here? Bing, gotcha. They charge you if you pick it up? Are you sure? I think that's a rumor. No, it says it on there. Because they don't want you to replace it with something. I don't know. It's weird. I have a question. Fire away. What's a Toblerone? It's chocolate. Is it chocolate? It's like from Switzerland. I know it's a candy. It's like chocolate with little wafery nougats. What's he ever got? Oh, yeah, I slayed them. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Really? You know that. As he reaches for his belly. We feast on Toblerones. It's like this triangle-shaped candy bar with nuts. It's got nuts in it, doesn't it? I can picture it. It's like nougat. No, wafers or something. You were right. With the wafery, crispy nougat. Yeah, something like that.
I can picture Woodsy coming in after a long night of a couple of pops, sitting in his bed, you know. What is nougat? Nougat is a chewy caramel substance. Is it really? Yeah. I picture you coming home or coming back to the hotel room. And putting on a Gerard Butler movie that's available for pay-per-view. No, no, no. Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant. He loves his boy. And feasting on a tablerone. My wife and I have emptied many bars before. And I mean empty. How much did that set you back? Hundreds and hundreds of dollars. But it was fun, though, wasn't it? It was a blast. We always have fun. Hey, is it true that Charlie Sheen is leaving Two and a Half Men? Yep. Really? Apparently so. No, this was on all the websites, CNN, I mean, everywhere. But apparently it came from sources close to Charlie Sheen that told People Magazine. And they basically just said after April 9th taping, he's done. The reason is because he's just done. He's been in and out of rehab. We know about the conflict between he and his wife. Yeah, I wonder if that's CBS's deal or his deal. I don't know, man. Who's deciding that? There's no way that show can go on without him. Yeah, right? There's no...
Way. Because he's John Cryer, can't carry that show by himself. It's weird. No. Yeah, I've never seen one episode. It's a really good show. My parents' favorite. Really? Number one show. What's it about? It's about these two guys are both bachelors, except one of them has a son, and they get into all kinds of crazy shenanigans. Charlie Sheen is a womanizer. Weird. His brother, which is, is that the guy? It's a tough role for him to play. Ducky. What's his name? Yeah, Ducky. John Cryer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's from Sixteen Candles. Yeah, he was Ducky in that. He was Ducky in Sixteen Candles. Oh my gosh, he was. He wasn't in Sixteen Candles. Pretty in Pink? He's not in Sixteen Candles. Just went off. The light bulb just went off. He totally was. He's in Pretty in Pink. Pretty in Pink as Ducky. Hey guys, Woods hasn't slept for more than an hour and a half. So we probably don't want to push the whole Ducky thing on him today. It is Ducky, but he's right. It's from Pretty in Pink, not Sixteen Candles. I never realized that. E-ject. E-ject. Speaking of 16 Candles. I know. Speaking of 16 Candles. Oh, what a segue. This is the band Sponge with their song called Molly. 16 Candles. Because our girl Pepper is picking the music here. If you're planning on getting one of those new iPads that comes out tomorrow, you're probably going to need to know something about some extra costs involved. Weird. And Sienna's going to tell you.
Hey, I saw Suzanne. Is it Susanna? Susanna. You know that. Susanna. She is the intern for the accounting department. Yeah, she's creeping throughout the hallways. She was walking in and out of the hallways, and so I wanted to know what she's all about. She wears a retainer, if you didn't know. Yeah, she does. And we're also going to do the Little Wiz pop quiz. Yeah. It's a special Easter edition where we send Sienna out on the streets to talk to little kids. Make some noise. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. It's an awesome week. Hot Rods, Customs, Classics, Trick Trucks, and Muscle Cars at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. April 9th, 10th, and 11th. The Good Guys Del Mar Nationals presented by a Maguire. The entire fairgrounds will be filled with over 2,000 of the world's finest Hot Rods.
Customs, classics, muscle cars, and tricked-out trucks. Plus, a giant indoor car show in three buildings. See Good Guys Street Broad d'Elegance Competition. And be sure to check out the Tire Screech and Screech Challenge Auto Cross Road Course. Plus, commercial and vendor exhibit swap meet, cars for sale, model car show, nostalgia entertainment, and more. Also, the West Coast Customs Car Showcase presented by Autolock. April 9th, 10th, and 11th. Gates open 8 a.m. daily at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public by being burdened with credit card debt. To aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action. by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344.
We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344 800-724-1344 Again, that's 800-724-1344 United States 2010 Census Forums will be arriving by mail at homes this March. And if you've moved in with a friend, loved one, or relative due to circumstances beyond your control, we're counting on you to make sure you're counted as part of the household you're living with. The 2010 Census provides benefits that really hit home, like job training and health care. And the 2010 Census helps provide funding for better transportation and education. So please, take the time and make sure you're included on your family, friend, or loved one's 2010 Census form when they fill it out. Because together, we can move forward when you're counted and it's sent back. United States 2010 Census. It's in our hands. Paid for by U.S. Census Bureau. For more information, please visit 2010census.gov. That's 2010 C-E-N-S-U-S.
Suffering from high interest rates on your credit cards, barely able to make just the minimum payments on your debts? We here at the Bankruptcy Law Center can help. Call 1-800-718-9688 or go to our website at GetOutOfDebtSanDiego.com. You can file for a bankruptcy and still keep your home and your cars. You can erase your second mortgage and stop the foreclosure process. Most people think bankruptcy destroys your credit, yet many people actually have better credit after they file. Call the Bankruptcy Law Center to set up a free consultation with... Call 1-800-718-9688. 1-800-718-9688. Or go to our website, getoutofdeutsandiego.com. is responsible for this ad. Nothing in this ad should be construed as legal advice. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA.
Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Now at the Home Depot, Scott's Naturescapes mulch is at a new lower price of only $3.88 a bag, which is great for your wallet and your weekends because this is one mulch that keeps its color for an entire year. So now you can spend less time working in your garden and more time enjoying it. Now that Scott's Naturescapes mulch is just $3.88 a bag, more saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Ballad and U.S. only. See store for details. Taylor Lava. Taylor Lava. Sweet Taylor Lava. Mama Testa Taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios mio, what have I done? Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply.
This report is brought to you by JCPenney. It's the tax time event at JCPenney. This Friday and Saturday, we're giving you a discount equal to or greater than the sales tax. New look, new day. Who knew? JCPenney. And it looks like the 5 northbound before 6th Avenue, an injury accident. The number 5 lane is blocked right now by a couple cars. The 52 westbound before Santo Road. We've got a car fire. It's over on the right shoulder. And the westbound at the 805, an accident on the southbound 805 connector. A couple cars involved tying that area up. This report brought to you by StandForLess.com. Take a deep breath. Think about air quality. Combining car trips, riding a bike, or using low VOC paint can make us all breathe a little easier. Learn how at StandForLess.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Listen now to the wind, babe. Listen now to the rain. Feel that water.
Licking at my feet again. I don't want to see this town no more. I instantly like this, Pepper. What is it? It's actually, it's a cover song. There's a rock band in Australia called Cold Chisel. And it's a compilation desk. His name is Travis something or other. I don't know. It says it. Troy Cassar? Yeah. They're called Faux Chisel. What's that? The name of the band is called Faux Chisel? Cold Chisel. Oh, Cold Chisel. I like Faux Chisel back. I think he's a country guy in Australia. I picked it up in my travels. So if you're planning on getting that new iPad that's coming out tomorrow, you should probably know a couple of things about it. Now, one thing that I can tell you, just from me loving that stuff, is that as far as I know, the first version that they put out is going to be the version that you can use with a wireless connection. And then they're going to release another version.
That will allow you to be on the street and use it with a 3GS signal or whatever. That's cool. But what is one of the costs that we need to know about, Sienna? Well, we know that these things are supposed to be coming to stores tomorrow, right? Yeah. April 3rd. Yeah. It's a great day. And you get them for $499. But now some of the dark sides are starting to surface. One of them being that the apps, if you have an iPhone, you know that you can download the apps. They're usually about 99 cents, right? $1.99 at most for one of the apps. Well, these ones are about... A lot more. 96% more expensive. What? Yeah, that's what they're saying. There's some that are $4.99, $2.99, and there's some that are $49.99. Are you kidding me? So if you think you're going to get the iPad and just be able to get all of these cheap apps like you were able to do on the iPhone, look elsewhere because it's going to be a lot more expensive. I was talking to my brother about it this morning. Yesterday, there was an article that came out that they were asking people if this will replace the laptop.
because it's so small and it's so lightweight and it does a lot of the things that a laptop does. What's the use of the laptop? A lot of us use a laptop now if we need to do some, well, if we want to play a DVD or if we want to use something like that or if we want to run a whole bunch of programs. But if you don't and you just want to browse the internet, listen to music, look at your pictures or stuff like that, it's not very... practical to carry around a laptop. Right. So this will do it all. Not to mention, if you have the iPad and say you have, you know, an iPhone 2, then you can listen to music on that. You know, you don't really need the laptop. That's true. I don't get it. You don't get the iPad? I just don't get it. Does it play DVDs? No. It doesn't. No. Well, get it. Really? Is that what you use your computer for mostly? I use DVDs on my computer. You do? Yeah. That's true. Are you sure you can't download? Like movies? Probably on iTunes. You can download. Yeah, you can download movies. Can't burn CDs. Can't burn CDs. Leak. You can't run programs. You know, some people want certain programs. Can't do that. You can't have like a word on there and like use word. No, no, no. You can download. If somebody sends you a word document, you can look at it. Yeah.
But you just can't have those programs on your iPad. It would be weird to type a Word document, like, by touching the screen. That would be weird. That's what I'm used to with my iPhone. It's really, it's just a big iPhone. Yeah. Is what it is. And there goes Woods. That you can read on. Talking and answering the side of his computer. Hello. How about we do some of this? You ready for this? Yeah. It's the worst line ever. Yeah, you will be singing that in your head. That is today. Sienna loves little kids. I do. I went to the park yesterday and talked to some of them. I was a little worried because of the rain. I was like, am I going to be able to find some kids? But they were all out there. They were all out there. Riled up. And she was talking to them about Easter. Okay, what's your name? Keone. Keone, how old are you? And what about you? My name's Jace. Jace? That's a cool name. How old are you? I'm going to tell you right now. What?
Jace is trouble. You just wait for Jace. I don't know about Jace, but I'm just saying right now, I just heard that. I'm like, I don't know. I'm wondering about this Jace. Hey, lady. My name's Jace. He totally, like, lowered his voice to it. It's Jace. Jace. Six and a half. Six and a half. And what's your name? Danny. How old are you? Four. Okay, you got it. Oh, my God. Danny. Why is it that we love when a little kid goes full? Danny, let me just pre-warn you that Danny didn't, like, answer any of the questions. He just had to talk about other things. He didn't want to talk about what he wanted. He didn't want to talk about what I wanted to talk about. That's okay. He's got his own agenda. Yeah, he does. Guys, who's the Easter bunny? What does he do? Inside the eggs, he has chocolate. Yum. Are you ready for Easter on Sunday? Yeah. We've got a long time. No, it's only in two days? Is that a long time? A long time. It's only in two days. How long is that? I know. Are you excited? Yeah, I want to see what you really look like. You want to see what I really look like? Oh, my God. I had my big sunglasses on. You're wearing a mask? I had my big sunglasses on, and he was looking at me like, who are you? Lady, take that scream mask off, please. You're scaring me to death. You're wearing sunglasses on, huh?
So he's like, I like what I see. No, you haven't gotten to it. There's a pause, and then they laugh. Okay, I don't know what that means. They laughed? Great. I was like, okay, I don't have any makeup on, and that's what you're laughing about. Not sure what the laugh means, but all right. Who is the Easter Bunny anyway? Somebody I know. He's Peter. Somebody I know? That's Jace. Yeah, of course it is. Of course it's Jace. Of course it is. Somebody I know, all right, wise guy? You'll hear a little baby wander up, too. All right. He's Peter Cottontail. He's Peter Cottontail. Oh, my God. Go back. Can we go back? Yeah, we can. Gotta have some kids. It was one of the boy's little brothers who came up with this blonde, curly hair. Okay, I don't know what that means. Who is the Easter Bunny, anyway? He's Peter Cottontail. He's Peter Cottontail. I love it. Peter Cottontail. The hobo on the side of the road. Why is it like an Easter turtle? Why is it a bunny? Bunny babies are born in the spring. How big is it? I didn't even know this. I don't know that. Notice how I didn't respond. Of course it is. And bees and dogs can smell fear. Clown. Of course it can. Young clown. It's an Easter bunny anyway. I've never seen him. How big is that? Like a giant? Yeah, I think so. Do you know how to get adults?
Did he just ask you, are you from the ghetto? Do you know how to get to the dentist? First of all, I said, how tall is he? And the girl said, this big, like a giant. And then her brother said, do you know how to get out splinters? That's fantastic. What's a molar? No, he had a splinter from the park. Do you have fuel injection in your car? I love the randomness. What's Jiffy Pop? You have a splinter? Where? On your hand? What's that from? Playing on the park? Oh, man. Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs? He gets them from Uranus. Oh, wow. There's your buddy, Jace. Jace. Wow. Jace.
Future felon of America. He memes the planet, you guys. No, you guys, you have to rewind just to hear his friends laugh at that moment. Oh, my gosh. He slays it. Gold. On your hand, what's that from? Playing on the park. Being all sweet to Jason. Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs? He gets them from Uranus. Oh, my God. That's a little Woods and Bauman 20 years ago. 100%. I love how it takes a second for his friend to process it and then... One more time. One more time. One more time. Of course, one more time. Maybe three. The greatest ever. Does the Easter Bunny get his eggs? He gets them from Uranus. How do you think the Easter Bunny even gets in your house? How does it get in there? How does it get in your house? He kicks down your door. Chase is grabbing the mic. He kicks down your door. Oh, notice how the little girl's not talking anymore. Yeah, somebody's taking over. Of course. Wow. That is phenomenal. And then the last question is, how does the Easter Bunny get from house to house?
So fast. He! Oh, wow, Jace. Really, dude? Jace. Adderall, maybe. He runs. He bounces. And then he goes boing, boing, and he keeps on bouncing. Now, can you just give me a real quick Happy Easter? Happy Easter! You missed Jace's answer on how the Easter money gets there so fast. He teleports. That's fantastic. Is that what he said? Yes. Oh, my God. He teleports, obviously. He's like, what's your name, Sienna? You're coming with me. Yeah, you're coming with me. Oh, my God. Hey, Dad, we're going to give her a lift if you don't mind. All right? We need a clip. Don't worry about it. He gets it from Uranus. I want the laugh. I want the isolated laugh. We have to isolate that laugh. Can we isolate that? I want you to find just that part again. That laugh is so great. That is the best. That is you. No, it's me. I mean, when you said, oh, that Jace is going to be trouble, I was like, how did you know? As soon as I heard him go, I'm Jace. I'm like, uh-oh. I knew I had to, like, impress him. I'm like, oh, that's a cool name. Don't hurt me. Don't kick me in the shin. 20 years from now on FM 94.9, the Jace show. No doubt about it.
And that friend of his will be his sidekick. For sure. Speaking of, so yeah, little Easter bunnies will be coming around on Sunday. And speaking of which, I want to see why Susanna is here today because I saw her. Tell her she can come in. Come in. Susanna standing at the door. Come on in, Susanna. She's looking really dressed up. She's so gorgeous, right? Let's hear it for Susanna, everybody. She's an intern in our accounting department. Beautiful blonde girl. And how are you, Susanna? I'm fantastic. How are you, Mikey? Sienna, what did she say? How's Easter, Mikey? Easter's great. She said, how are you doing? Yes, that's all I said. I said, how are you doing, Mikey? Why don't you take the retainer out because it's hard to hear you with the retainer in. Just a second. Go ahead. I said I'm fantastic. How are you, Michael? I'm doing great. It's great to see you, Susanna. Yeah, you really do have a velvet boy. You're welcome. Wow. Susanna loves Woods. She's friends with Woods. I was just friends to love. It's a little early for that, right? No, I didn't. Did he say something? No, no, no. Okay, weird, weird, weird, weird, weird. I didn't mean you literally love him.
No, I meant like, oh, you love Woods, you know? Like he's one of your favorite characters. Like he's one of your favorite characters. Oh, me too. Yeah, definitely. That's what I meant. Yeah, that's what you meant. Yeah. What do you have? Oh, this. This is for Woods. Wow. Wow. I don't know why I'm nervous. I know. I don't either. Weird. Thanks. So this, it's an Easter basket. Uh-huh. It's for you. I know it's like your first Easter out here alone. Yeah, by myself. That's so rustic, too. Like, it's really a beautiful basket. It is. It's handmade. You handmade the basket? Oh, yeah. You know that. Oh, wow. She's using her phrases. She's using her phrases. She's using her phrases. You know that. So did you buy that at a craft store, or what did you do? No, no. Okay, so what's been happening is I've been curing palm leaves. Oh. How do you do something like that? Oh, it's not even worth explaining. Yeah. It's a really long process. I've been doing it for a couple weeks. You've been curing palm leaves. Oh, my goodness. Right, right. So in between, like, you know, accounting and working in the accounting department, then you go home and you get to work on your hobby of curing. Well, I'm also going to night school. Going to night school. Oh, wow. Yeah, so I just fall in time. I don't even sleep that much. Yeah, you don't sleep that much? You sound like me. Yeah, yeah, you don't. Yeah, maybe we should hang out when we're not sleeping. Yeah, weird. Weird. Definitely weird. Okay.
Put your retainer back in, because when you don't wear the retainer, sometimes... Yeah, things get screwed up. Yeah, for sure. Anyway, Susanna. Anyway. These are palm leaves. What? These are palm leaves. Write it. Palm leaves. Palm leaves. Palm leaves. Palm leaves. Palm leaves. She'd climb up a palm tree, grab the leaves, take it down. That's actually right. Did you actually climb a palm tree? Yes. How'd you do that? I just nailed it. You just what? I just scaled it. You just scaled it. She scaled it. She scaled it. Scaled it. Scaled it. Yes. Got it. And then what did you do when you got there? Well, I took the leaves and laid the leaves out. And then I cured the leaves in the sunlight. And then I sucked the leaves and I bleached the leaves. What? You cured them in the sunlight and took them and bleached them? Got it. Right. And then I had to individually weave the leaves. To weave the leaves individually. Oh, wow. Into a basket. Into a basket. And then a Mexican did what? That's what it sounded like, huh? And then a Mexican... I said, and then... I forget what I said. Got it. Sorry about that.
And then what did you do? So I just, I wove the basket. Right. And then, of course, I had to fill the basket with something. So I've had this grass I've been growing since, I don't know when it was February 1st. Wow. Is that real grass? It's real grass, yes. Yeah, that's beautiful. It's gorgeous. It's like turf. And then I... It's really gorgeous. Really, it's sod. Yeah? It's sod. It's not? It's sod. It's not. Sod. Sod. Sod. Got it. Sorry. And then I just baked these chocolates from scratch. She baked these snotlets? Chocolate. What's a snotlet? Chocolate. A chocolate. Mike, I said chocolate. She said chocolates. Yeah, take their camera out. Chocolates. Chocolates. Mike, I said chocolate. Oh, I'm so sorry, Suzanne. I'm so sorry. Woods, I'm going to watch you sleep. Okay, whoa. What did you say? I said Woods is so sweet. Oh, it sounded like you said Woods, I'm going to watch you sleep.
Why would you do that? I bet he doesn't sleep like an angel. Oh, weirder, weirder, weirder, weirder. What is happening? All right, well, you know what? Put the retainer back in, Susanna, and thank you for stopping by and saying hi to her. Thanks for the baskets. Yeah, the baskets, nice. Yes, and this sugar cane, I just distilled the sugar cane myself, so I hope you understand what in the world. She distilled the sugar cane herself. That's right. It's like real, real stuff. That's really nice. Thank you for coming in. Thanks. I hope you enjoy Woods. I will. You know I will. Thank you. I'm watching you. Okay. That was weird. That's so weird. She would take the retainer out and say, I was watching you. I'll be watching you. Yeah. Does she know where you live? No. Well, let's hope. Maybe she's friends with the basing guys. Could be. Awkward. Wow, she's mouthing your address. That's kind of weird because you said that she didn't know. I didn't think that she did. She's mouthing your address. Yeah, weird. Did you hear about the surfer? that was trying to do this big marathon paddle. Where were they going, Stanna? They were going from, let's see here. Just ask me. I'm right here. Exactly.
Santa Catalina Island to Dana Point, which is nearly 40 miles. And she was doing it for her best friend who has breast cancer, and she wanted to show her to just keep fighting. Now, this was a nine-hour test of endurance. How was she doing it? On a paddleboard. Have you ever seen those? They're like those stand-up huge surfboards, and you have a paddle. It's pretty hard. It's a good workout, but it's a lot of fun. And they were going to do that for 40-some miles. Yeah, nine hours. I couldn't sleep in a car 42 miles. It would tire me off. Sleeping in a car for 42 miles made me tired. And this is pretty crazy. She said right before she left on the venture, she said a prayer, you know, asking God to help her. This is a huge thing that she's doing and help, you know, lead the way. And halfway through, a whale pulls up right next to her. Pulls up. Pulls up. He came to me. Yeah. He came to the surface is what I meant to say, you know. And I probably am not going to pronounce this right, but it's a minky whale. Of course it is. A minky. A minky. It's real sexy. But those whales are not common in Southern California at all. So the fact that that whale was even there is crazy. That's sexy. And the whale stayed at the surface right next to her for like the entire rest of the journey. Does that creep you out or does that make you feel safe? That makes you feel pretty rad, dude. She named the whale.
Absolutely. Did she name the whale? Larry. Of course she did. And it's on, wait till you see this picture. It's people, you know, other people were on the little race, the journey. Bro, that whale came and just cruised with her to make sure she was okay. Yeah, that's awesome. And that's what she said. She said, you know, I said a prayer to like, and then all of a sudden this rare whale pops up and is there helping me. What a cool thing. That is so cool. And how long did it follow her? It doesn't say exactly how long, but for a while. I mean, it was up there for a while. Enough to get numerous pictures. Other people came around and were amazed by it. Why is she flipping the finger, though? Yeah, why is she doing that? It looks like she is. I don't think she is. Maybe that's just... No, she's pointing like, yeah. Let's think she's flipping the finger. Yeah, my face. She's taking pictures of me. Yeah. Yeah, no, she said that Larry the Whale... Why Larry? That was just the name she came up with. Penny Bell. I don't know. Wow. We're not talking about your dog, Penny Bell. That's one of your Yorkies, bro. You know that. Larry was rolling around besides her, blowing bubbles beneath the board and just like totally being friendly. Yeah. That's the coolest thing. Isn't that awesome? One of the coolest things I've ever heard. So she made it and everyone was there cheering for her and, you know, she did an awesome thing for a friend. Why was a guy in Oklahoma arrested for a misspelling?
And how does that happen? Oh, well, this brilliant, brilliant man was trying to get a prescription for Oxycontin filled. Oh, boy. That he wrote himself. And the reason they know that is because he misspelled Oxycontin. He spelled it Oxycontin. Yeah, he probably put cotton. C-O-T-T-O-N. It doesn't say how he spelled it, but they were like, um. That's it. Oxycontin. Yeah, it's Oxycontin. Why wouldn't he just do O-X scribble? Or Google it. I think that's the deal. They don't have Google in Kentucky. No, they don't. And the other thing is, all prescriptions, they're supposed to look like they were written with a doctor's foot. Right, exactly. It's supposed to look like the doctor put it in his foot and went... Scribble, scribble. Go ahead. Woodsy's going to do it right now. We should scan what you do. Here's how he did it. Okay? That's how he did it. It was all perfect in caps. In caps. OxyContin. No. He drew a little. That's how it should look. Yeah. OxyContin. Oh, wow. It should be a little. That's how it should look. Yeah. Like a weasel wrote it. I think he didn't know how to spell cotton, so he drew a picture. Oxy and then a cotton ball. Of a little cotton ball and thought that that would work. Yeah. Wow. Sir, what is this? It's OxyContin. OxyContin. Yeah.
You know that. Sorry, sorry. You know that. You know that. He was obviously arrested for forgery. Of course. Of course. Where was this? Was it Kentucky? Oh, Oklahoma City. Oh, same thing. Yeah, and he signed it from Dr. Sayas, too, which is a weird thing. Dr. Sayas. Alanis Morissette has a new song, and is anybody curious? Anybody want to know? This song was written for the upcoming Disney movie that's coming out, Prince of Persia, Sands of Time. It's called I Remain. This is just for people that are curious what Alanis Morissette stuff sounds like, right? Sure. See the Prince of Persia-ness in it? Well, Sienna sent me this story and she goes, people might be interested in this because people like Alanis Morissette, right? I just, I thought she, I haven't heard new music from her in forever. Apparently she does come out with new stuff, but I haven't heard it. Sounds like Alanis Morissette. Exactly. I'm good. The voice cuts through my brain. It does? Yeah. You're not a big fan. Like goodness or badness? Like nails. What? Do you know that she dated Scarlett Johansson's husband for like years? Ryan Reynolds. Forever. Dated him? She was about to marry him. Yeah. Then he woke up and goes, wait, what? Imagine Scarlett Johansson's like, wait, your ex is Alanis Morissette? Yeah. She used to date one of the dudes from Full House. You, Joey. Right? Dave Couillet. Dave Couillan. Uncle Joey. Uncle Joey. In fact, some say that that song, You Ought to Know, is about him.
And I'm here to remind you. Dead on. That's a dead on Alanis Morissette. Here's the deal. Oh, yeah. You want to know about the guy that's suing PetSmart for slipping on dog poop? Me too. Who doesn't? You guys ready for The Incorporator? Also, Sean Merriman, I told you, got pranked yesterday by the NFL Network. I said, let it go until he got a little irritated. And we got audio. Don't go away.
On FM 94.9. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff we get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What did you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple? Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinate it for 24 hours, and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour, spicy, all at the same time. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Mama Testa Taqueria, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. Maybe I should write a jingle. Taylor loves us. Tell the lava sway. Tell the lava sway. Tell the lava sway. Think back to when you were a kid. Remember building stuff with building blocks or maybe getting all the cushions off the couch and building a fort? Your imagination went wild.
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This report, it is brought to you by JCPenney. It's a tax time event at JCPenney. This Friday and Saturday, we're giving you a discount equal to or greater than the sales tax. New look, new day. Who knew? jc penny on the five northbound before sixth avenue an injury accident couple cars involved looks like that number five lane still blocked right now you could expect some delays on the northbound five also the five northbound at coronado avenue we've got an accident and another couple cars they're both over on the right shoulder and the 52 westbound right after mass boulevard you're going to find a car that's stuck over on the left shoulder this report is also brought to you by official payments on tax day don't wait in line at the post office go online at home use your visa card to pay your taxes online and on through official payments. It's fast, easy, and secure. Certain fees and restrictions do apply. Visit officialpayments.com forward slash visa. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning being brought to you, of course, by Guayaki Yerobamate.
And reduce your carbon footprint by drinking Guayaki Yerba Mate. Be Guayaki. Surf-wise today, we've got some swell coming to us out of a variety of different directions. West-northwest, wind and swell combination. Touch of southwest lingering out there as well. Pretty decent sized surf. Chest, shoulder, overhead at both spots. Even a little bit bigger than that at the top standout areas. But it is trying to clean up from the stronger winds and the swell across that we've been seeing over the last few days. Sunny skies will greet you. Offshore winds grooming some broken up peaks and lines. Kind of scattered corners, dealing with a pretty much real low tide at dawn this morning. So a lot of areas are drained out. Reef breaks need more water to help them line up. Beach breaks need more water to help them stand up. So you might want to give it a little bit more time if you've got that opportunity. Otherwise, just go out there and grab a few. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com for everything you need in order to go surf. Check out one of the South Coast Surf Shops, five locations, or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Uh, I can't do anything. I can't do anything here at all. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Get Lauren. I will take like a half an hour to get out of bed and be like, no. Louisiana. Woo, tag.
And Jay. Of course, I have an outrageous story on FM 94.9. Make some noise. Welcome. It's the Mikey Show. Love it. A little drama-rama. Pepper's picking the music today, and that's why. You got to hear that. That's my pump-up song. That song? Yep. It's a good one. When I'm running, I'm just like. Yeah, we asked you the other day, what's like the hardest music you listen to? Would that be it? Yeah, I guess if that's hard, then I guess that's it. Well, we were asking you. If that's hard, then I guess that's it. We were asking you what it was. So Sean Merriman was on the NFL Network the other day. And he was, it was yesterday. It was April Fool's. And the guys on the NFL Network thought that they would have a little bit of fun with him.
And so, as you know, he does the dance. And here's what happened. We decided to pull one over on you, Sean. Sorry to say. Earlier in the day, way before this show went on the air, you were kind enough to sit down for NFL.com for an interview. By the way, I want to let you know, that's as loud as I can get that sucker. Really? I have it turned up as loud as it'll go. I have it cranked up as loud as it'll go on the board. That's as loud as I can get it. Let's see if they're. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Maybe here. I'll do that, too. All right. This is as loud as it'll go. Yeah, I was a little too kind. And then we interrupted. And here's what happened. Give a look. It's always going to help us out because you want to get them to make some mistakes that we wouldn't make if we're at home. Did you ever. Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell. Hold on one second. He thinks he's taping a segment. And here comes Rich Eisen interrupting the recording of the segment. And you can see that Sean Merriman is very like, oh, my gosh, what's going on? What's going on? I'm filming here. And Rich comes walking onto the set with a piece of paper in his hand. Because something just came through because we're going to talk about this on the show later on tonight. The lead just sent out this release that says the commissioner.
expands unsportsmanlike conduct rules involving excessive celebrations, a change to Rule 12, Section 3, Article 1. In his hand, they're showing, on the camera, a document that looks very real. It says, like, official NFL at the top of it. Official NFL. Yeah. And Merriman's sitting there, suit, tie, looking sharp, and Merriman's like, what? He's looking at this piece of paper. What are you doing, dude? What is this? What is this? Like a sack. Merriman's got a look on his face right now like real concern. I mean, his face has a look. He's got a look on his face like real concern. Like, what? The NFL commissioner said the following will be subject to a 15-yard penalty. Individual players involved in a prolonged or excessive celebrations, including any premeditated celebration or gesture that comes at the conclusion of a catch, tackle, or sack. Wow. Oh, my God. They just did this? Yeah, take a look. Repeater factors will be subject to five. Rich Eisen just gave him kind of a pat on the shoulder. Sorry, bro. Sorry, dude. Sorry, man. Just gave him a little bit of a supportive tap on the shoulder. And or suspensions.
Pending review on a case-by-case basis. Why would I do this? I don't know. Lights out. Are they fining for... I guess the lights out. So they're going to fin me this year for that? On a case-by-case basis. I mean, how well do you know? I'd say there's a little hurt, sadness, and fear going on. I was really scared. A little bit. Panicking. A little bit. You go like five yards, but how I do it, I go five yards past, like, you know, after I get a sack, I go five yards away. I don't know if there's a yardage thing on there. Man, I ain't getting too serious with that. He's so mad. Take a look. He's reading the paper. He's reading it. He's scanning it. Hands shaking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've never even been flying for it. I've never even been flagged for it one time. And I don't even do it close to the quarterback or the players or whatever. Again, if you're just tuning in, this is an April Fool's joke played on Merriman on the NFL Network yesterday afternoon. They should be fining other players for doing my dance. I say they should be like when the Patriots did it. Wow. Who else is doing your dance? I mean, other players. I mean, other guys have done it. Chad's done it. Some other people have done it. They should be the one getting fined.
When he do it as a team, that's good. Eisen, right now, Eisen just tried to conceal a laugh. Oh, my gosh. Because he was about to lose it, and he had to, like, get himself together so he wouldn't laugh. I don't know why they're doing it like this. That's ridiculous, man. Well, that's crazy. Does he think that they're still rolling? I don't know. No, because it was interrupted. It was interrupted. What are you doing? But, you know, I don't know. I mean, sad. Maybe they threw the word in sack just because of you. I don't know. I mean, it's like the guys, they're going, that's crazy. He's furious. I mean, I know they, it's like the guys. Oh, you can see him. He's like raging. He's doing the thing. Looks like the kid he's about to eject. Yeah. He is. And he's doing the thing where he's like, he's sitting up and straightening out the tie. Readjusting his clothes. He's readjusting the suit, readjusting the clothes. You see the shoulders. I've had sack dances in the league. Right. I am, I'm not the only one. That's bowling dance, right? Yeah, SP do the bowling dance and Jared Allen. Throwing people under the bus. Left and right. Tattletail. Right. Well, he did it, too. What about Jared Allen? They're going to fine people now for doing that? Let me tell you, fine and or suspensions. Well, now they're going to suspense him. Oh, he is oof. Not a happy guy right now. Not happy. The league. Suspensions. The league. That's ridiculous. The league.
I think there's one. I think they should. Is there a message or something like that? Is that what you're saying? Oh, wow. So now. This is horrible. They're not going to let him go through this. Now he goes. He goes. Eisen goes. Oh, is there a message that we need? And he has Merriman look at a big monitor that they have. And on the monitor in green in all caps just came the words April Fools. With a bunch of exclamations. With three exclamation points. Amazing. Oh, that's awesome. Awesome. I was just about to have a heart attack. Oh, yeah. Now they're hugging. Now they're hugging. He's dying. Shaking his hand. Payback. Payback. I promise you. I'm impressed. I think he was a pretty good boy. There was no swearing. He didn't even stand up from the chair. That was good, man. Yeah. Wow. Looks real, doesn't it?
That was going to have the news across. News in red. What if they let him go and, like, curse the lady? No, I know. Just like, this is the worst. Can I just say this? So Merriman stands up, right? Wow. He's a big guy. Yeah. And he's wearing a suit. And he gives the, you know, he does the thing with Rich Eisen. The bro hug. When he does, even though he's wearing a suit. It stretches, the suit stretches with his bicep as his bicep goes. It's about to rip at the seam. Unlike me, where it's like basically putting a ballpoint pen inside of a burrito. No, it's not. I mean, it was so crazy seeing his arm inside that suit. It's great. Big boy. He's a big dude. Professional football player. He's a professional football player. Hearing all that makes me wish that I either personally did something or we as a show did like a really good April Fool's. I know. Man, next year. I mean, he was a really good sport. I mean, he just started laughing. I'd be like, I'd be mad. Yeah. Maybe we'd be like Pepper and we'd do a June Fool's, you know, a June Fool's thing on somebody like she did with her brother. Yeah.
June 21st. June 21st. April Fool's. April Fool's. Really? Okay. Real quickly, before we do the incorporator, we're going to have Sienna tell us about why this dude is suing PetSmart for dog poo. He has a case, too. I'm just going to say that. A man from Virginia went into PetSmart, and I guess he had a previous back condition. He had injured it before, and when he was walking down the aisle, he slipped over some dog poop that was in the aisle. Now, if you don't know, at PetSmart, you can bring your dog in on a leash. I instantly looked at Woods. I instantly looked at Woods because Woodsy has... four little Yorkies. They go to the bathroom in there all the time. Around the counters and the aisles, they have stuff to clean it up just in case the animals relieve themselves. Why can you let your dog in there? Because, dude, they don't get to go anywhere else. Take it easy. It's a pet store. It's just a question. It's a pet store. I'm just saying. I guess when the guy fell, not only did he hurt his previous back injury and made it worse, but he lost four of his false teeth. Get the dogs out of there. Did he? Yes, dude.
No, I think it's so cool when you bring your dogs in. Watch where you're going. Really? Is that it? Watch where you're going. It's people's fault for being in the store. Especially because you bring your dog in and they can try the merchandise and make sure it's right for them. They sniff the treats and stuff. And they have dog training in PetSmart and stuff like that. They have dog washing. They sniff the floor to see where a good place to poop is. That's fine. Watch where you're going. There should be a sign when you walk in that says there could be excrement. Really watch for doo-doo. Yeah. Probably, yeah. A sign that says that. Poor babies. Well, he's filed a million dollar lawsuit saying that these animals should not be allowed in the store because when they do things like this, it creates a dangerous and hazardous condition. I agree in like a Target or something like that. Absolutely.
You're in PetSmart, you know the risks. Really? Is a dolphin going to swim by and hit me too? No. And I should know that because it's PetSmart. It could. PetSmart. It could. It's PetSmart. It could. I'll look out for whales. It could. I'll look out. You can let your snakes slither along the floor if you want it to. Hamsters running around. Don't get a hoof mark on your head because there's horses running all over this place. As long as they're on a leash. It's cool to bring your dogs in there. It's very cool to bring your dogs in there. It's a PetSmart. How about we do a little Incorporator? You want to do a little Incorporator? Let's do this. Let's do this. Speaking of pet stores. Yeah, that's what we're calling. We're calling a pet store. And Woodsy is leaving right now, and you call 570-1949. How much money do you want to bet our phone works or doesn't work? I'm nervous. I think it will. Stop. Please. 570-1949-949mikey at gmail.com if you want to text us a word for the Incorporator. Woods used to be a sales dude, and the way that it worked was he would get kind of bored because they'd do these sales things all day long. So the way that him and his buddies would entertain themselves is while they were talking on the phone, their buddies would say words to them off to the side, like they'd go, monkey. And they'd have to incorporate the word monkey in on the air or on the phone. They would just walk in while Woods was on the phone and be like, buttercup. Yeah, and he'd have to say buttercup.
In the phone call. And he'd have to just work it into regular conversation. Yeah. And so that's how the deal works. So you will give us very common words and phrases. And see, that's the thing. A lot of people will give us really difficult words and phrases. That doesn't work. It's got to be very, very normal phrases. Because he doesn't want to just randomly throw it in there. He wants it to fit. Yeah. He does a really good job at making it fit. Seamlessly. And it also can't be like a insulting thing because it's kind of hard to work an insult into a regular conversation. But, you know, the word panther is always the one that we go to. That's a great example that Sienna gave one time because it works so well. Teletubbies. Teletubbies was great. I mean, it's something everyone knows and that everyone can relate to. And it works really, really good. Oh, I love these. I'm already seeing some. So we have the list. Fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see. So we're getting some up on the line right now. 570-1949. The one I'm looking at right now is absolutely good. That's up on my screen. I'll go through them. And we're getting texts as well. 949mikey at gmail.com. We got a text from M1 Foosball that says,
Twinkle Twinkle. Love it. That's great. Yeah. That's great. Love it, love it. M1 Big John. Squat thrusts. Yeah. It's common. Oh, I can't wait for that. M1 MJ. Counterfeit money. Okay. Love it. I know. You might say none of that. M1 Team O. Samurai sword. Oh, that's not the one. That's the one I love. Yeah, that's great. What did you think I... There's one in there. Oh, maybe I took it out. You're talking about you got punked? Yeah. I know. It's because... How's it going? Because it's hard to incorporate that without... I mean, you say that directly to the person. How do you say to the person you got punked? Yeah. All right, we got a couple on the line. Just knowing woods. M1 Don? Yes. What's your word? Cellulite. Love it. Love it.
Thank you very much. This is a pet store. My dog's got cellulite. I know it. My snake. M1 Whitney. Ambidextrous. Ambidextrous is great. I love it. All right. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Ambidextrous. How do I spell that? No idea. A-M-B-I-D-E-X-T-R-I-S. Show off. Wow. That was incorrect. Let's see. M1, Jason? Yeah, how you doing, Mikey? Good. Elmo's World. I think that works. Absolutely. Is that a show? Yeah, Elmo's World. Is that a show? It is a show. Now, if we can do Teletubbies, why can't we do Elmo's World? You can. Can't we? What about just Elmo? Elmo Lazar. If it's Elmo's World, I don't know if Woods will know that that's a show. I didn't even know that that was a show. I could see him being like, really, pal? Kid doesn't watch cartoons. I could see him saying, really? Kid doesn't watch cartoons. Leave it in there, then. Yeah. No matter what. It's there. All right. M1 Molly? Yes. Go ahead. Flabbergam. Fantastic. Fantastic. All right. Come on in, Woods. He didn't even jump up and down today. I know. He didn't get himself all pumped up. He's being cool about it. He's too tired, I think. Poor guy. I didn't sleep much. How you doing, buddy? I'm all right. You feeling okay? I'm tired. You know that.
First word. First word. You sound excited. First word. I'm focused. Are you? Yeah. You in the zone? Yeah, I'm in the zone. Your first word is cellulite. Pet store. Pet store, cellulite. Perfect. You ready, Jay? I hope so. Me too. Okay, no talking during the time. Yeah, we got to be real silent. That's what was messing it up we heard. A person can hear woods, not me. Cellulite, your first word. If you'd like to make a call. To be kidding me. All right, dead silence, dead silence. Jay just took a really deep breath. Furry friends. Hi, good morning. I've got a couple questions for you. I'm a pet owner. I've got four little dogs, one of which, do you guys have weight loss stuff for dogs there? Because one of my dogs actually looks like it has some cellulite on it, if you can believe that. Dexter's. Yeah, you know, we do have weight loss food that you can feed the dog that helps them lose some weight.
We absolutely do have that. Yeah, she's a little Yorkie. Her name's Savannah, and she's getting a little chubby. She is ambidextrous, though, which is pretty cool for a dog. She can fetch with her left paw and her right paw. Elmo's world. Very good. Okay, good. What would you recommend as far as a kind of food? We have low in fat for dogs. It still has all the protein and everything and vitamins and minerals that they need. But it's low in fat, so it will actually help your dog lose weight if she is carrying around some extra pounds. Okay. Yeah, she is getting a little bit chubby. If you've ever seen the TV show Elmo's World, she's starting to look like one of those little puppets from that show. It's actually kind of flabbergasted, my wife and I. We really don't know what's going on. We do have plenty of pet food for you to choose from. We have dry food and we have canned food as well. So if you want to come on in. Yeah, I definitely, definitely will. What time are you guys open from until?
We're open until 9 at night. 9 at night. Cool. And you guys have, I'm assuming, like cages and things like that. There's a certain dog toy. It kind of jingles. I think it's called the Twinkle Twinkle. Do you guys have that? Squat thrust. No, I'm not familiar with the Twinkle Twinkle itself, but we do have a ton of cages, a ton of toys, leashes, clothing. I'm sure if we don't have the Twinkle Twinkle, we might have something similar to it. I've got to go to the gym today. I'm doing squat thrust and bench press. So it's going to be a little bit before I can get in there. And I'm assuming you guys don't take counterfeit money, do you? I have counterfeit money. No, we don't. No, you don't? Samurai sword. No. Okay. And I'm assuming I should probably leave my samurai sword in my truck too, right? Yeah, you might want to leave that in your truck as well. I definitely will. Well, should I bring my little dog, my chubby little dog in there with me? Yeah, if you want to. Okay. We allow pets. It's a pet store. You can bring your pet in, absolutely. Okay. That sounds good. I will see you guys later tonight. Okay, very good. Thank you. Bye-bye. Oh, my gosh. She is terrified. Locked into her. Dude. Wow. Dude, that's my favorite one you've ever done. That's my favorite one you've ever done. He just, like, gave up. Oh, my gosh.
Dude, that is my favorite one you've ever done. Is it okay if I bring my samurai sword? I guess you guys don't accept counterfeit money. She was not liking my jokes at all. You might want to leave that in your car, sir. She said twinkle, twinkle back to you twice. My other favorite thing is just saying something to you and you getting that look like squat thrust. Elmo's world. Yeah. I'm going to go do some squat thrust. Oh, that was good. Oh, yes. Well, ladies and gentlemen, that is the incorporator. If you've never heard it, it's when Woodsy has to incorporate words into a conversation. Dude, that was great. Thank you. You did a very good job. Thank you very much. And you didn't even do any jumping around outside this time. No. Extremely focused today. Like samurai. That's right. Like a samurai sword. Sharp as a samurai sword. Let's see. Okay, real quickly. Did you hear about the Boston-based group that is calling for Ronald McDonald to retire?
Did you hear about this? Yes. What is the deal with that, Sienna? Yes, this group thinks that they held a campaign yesterday at San Francisco City Hall saying that they need to get rid of Ronald McDonald because he, quote, has hooked kids on unhealthy food spurring an epidemic of diet-related diseases. Please. I know. Come on. I guess they took a survey and 47% of people agreed with that. That's ridiculous. This is like the same people that wants Cookie Monster to eat vegetables and fruit, I guess. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yeah, I'm like, isn't that you? What? No. What kind of a funny monster would that be? Carrots. Broccoli. Well, McDonald's is fighting back, obviously. And they're saying, okay, hello, Ronald McDonald is also the face of the charity program, the Ronald McDonald House Charities. Yeah, of course. And promotes good things for children. Of course. Agreed. He's an institution. Yeah. Where are these people from? Who's blaming Ronald McDonald? Where are they from? Where are they from? Boston. Weird. What? Also home of the Red Sox, by the way. I know. With the clowns in that whole state. Oh, my gosh. He hates the Red Sox. He hates the Red Sox because he's a Yankee fan. Do you like Johnny Damon? Not really. He's a tiger. I like this one. He was a Red Sox first. Pepper's picking the music today. This is Bob Dylan. No, it's not. It's not Bob Dylan. This isn't Bob Dylan? No. Citizen Cope. No.
You didn't go to the array, so the numbers are all off. Oh, they are. Here we go. Citizen Code, right? Yeah. Hey, I was just looking at Woodsy's recap email. And when we come back, I'm going to tell you what today is, an anniversary of Fort Woods. Remember how I've told you that there are moments on the Mikey show, like stories on the Mikey show, right? Where you hear the story, you're like, wow. Wait till you hear this. It's next. Make some noise in the studio. Pop it in. And turn it on.
Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, Cheap Trick are going to play at the Belly Up Wednesday, the 14th. Cheap Trick at the Belly Up. And on the 15th at the Casbah Good Show, A Place to Bury Strangers will play with the Big Pink. See us in town on the 19th playing the House of Blues. And also on the 19th, you can see Taylor Hawkins of the Foo Fighters with his band, The Coattail Riders. That show at the Cazbot, Taylor Hawkins and the Coattail Riders. And Delta Spirit just announced a show. They'll play Belly Up June 8th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. At FM949SD.com. The weather's getting warmer, and that means it's time to start working in your yard. Right now at Cragen O'Reilly Auto Parts, you can pick up a SuperStart lawn and garden battery starting at $19.99. SuperStart batteries are built extra tough with unbeatable vibration resistance, a 12-month limited warranty, and available at Cragen O'Reilly Auto Parts. You can count on SuperStart batteries to start your riding lawnmower time and time again.
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Street Challenge Autocross Road Course. Plus, commercial and vendor exhibits, swap meet, cars for sale, model car show, nostalgia entertainment, and more. Also, the West Coast Customs Car Showcase presented by Autolock. April 9th, 10th, and 11th. Dates open 8 a.m. daily at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. It's a state fair of automotive excitement you don't want to miss. The Good Guys Del Mar Nationals presented by McGuire. This is an important announcement to the American public who owe more than $10,000 or more in credit card debt. Over the past year, our government has quickly addressed issues threatening our biggest banks and corporations. We now face a similar issue threatening the American public by being burdened with credit card debt. To aid the financial recovery of the American people, we are taking equally swift and serious action. by announcing our 2010 debt recovery plan. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you now may qualify to have up to half of what you owe to the credit card companies eliminated entirely. For this immediate relief, call 800-724-1344.
We understand this is the help our country urgently needs this year on our road to recovery. By lifting the burdens Americans face with credit card debt, we are taking another step to see the change we would all like to see. If you're a U.S. citizen struggling with $10,000 or more in credit card debt, you may now call to see if you qualify to have up to half of what you owe eliminated. 800-724-1344. 800-724-1344. Again, that's 800-724-1344. If there were 100 kids in our town, we'd need about five teachers to teach them. If the following year there were a lot more kids, we'd need a lot more teachers. But if we didn't answer the census, we wouldn't know how much we've grown. We'd still have five teachers who are short on books, short on desks, and very long on patients. Answer the census. It's how we get our fair share of funding for the things we need. Look for the census in your mail today. We can't move forward until you mail it back. 2010 Census. It's in our hands. 2010census.gov. Paid for by U.S. Census Bureau. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. Hey, Cesar Gonzalez, tell me about the Mojados de Carne. Their roll tacos are Guerrero style. They're serving the spicy beef broth. If you have one too many brewskis, they're the cure for the hangover, bro. Mamatesta Taqueria, University Avenue and Richmond in Hillcrest. See you later. Te lo laves, wey. Ay, ay, ay, why have I done that?
This report is brought to you by Napa Auto Parts. Attention all lawn motorists. Hurry to participate in Napa Auto Parts stores in April. Their big spring battery sale going on. Napa lawn and garden batteries as low as $22.49 with exchange. Plus save an extra $5 after mail-in rebate. On the 5 northbound before 6th Avenue, it's an injury accident. They did have a sig alert earlier. They've canceled that. All the lanes are open right now. Just a little residual slowing on that northbound 5 in this area. Also, the 5 northbound after 8th Street, we've got a flat tire. A guy with that flat tire is in the slow lane. Watch out for him. Would want to make him a hood ornament. And the 805 northbound before Governor Drive, aluminum siding. That's in the number four lane. This report is brought to you by 99 cents only stores. Easter is going to be here before you know it. So hop in today to 99 cents only stores. Get all of your Easter supplies like baskets, fillable eggs, candy and toys. Only 99.99 cents each. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
My favorite pizza place in San Diego is Pizzacato. It is so good. It is so good. Oh, my God. Yeah. Mikey, you tell me not to eat on the air, but I'm eating. It's so good, right? It's really, really good food. Once it hits your lips. It's so nice. Pizzacato. They got all kinds of different locations there in Encinitas and Bankers Hill. And they're having their one year anniversary at the Bankers Hill location. And they are located by Balboa Park at Fifth and Laurel, the Bankers Hill location. You could also check out their website. It's pizzacatopizza.com. Mention that you're an M1. You get a special anniversary discount. 25% off. Whoa.
If you mention that you're an M1. It's a huge discount. At Pizzacato. And the one that I go to is the one in Encinitas. And they've been on one for almost 10 years. And they're next to Rubio's on El Camino Real. 252 North El Camino Real. Pizzacato is one of those little known secrets. I'm so glad I know about it now. I know it. Me too. It's one of those little known secrets. Really, really, really fresh ingredients. And really, really great tasting dough. Yeah, and I thought it was just pizza, but they have sandwiches, salads. They got all kinds of delicious goodness. Great stuff. Really, really great stuff. Okay, so today is a anniversary date for Woodsy. And was this in Arizona? This was in Arizona. Tell everybody what you did when you were staying at a Hampton Inn in Arizona. And this will... This will bring up for our listeners and even people here in the studio. The topic, well, we'll let Woodsy tell a story and it'll lead into it. Whatever you're thinking, you couldn't even imagine how bad this was. I was on a business trip in Arizona. I was in Scottsdale. And I had a long day of meetings. I came home and I took my suit off. I took a little nap. They had this restaurant downstairs. It was called Don and Charlie's. From the Hampton Inn? It's next door to the Hampton Inn. Got it.
Pretty cool place. So I was going to throw my suit back on, go down, grab dinner. So I'm steaming my suit. I got the hot water on in the shower, and I hang it on one of those. The little sprinklers for fire. I hang my suit there in the shower. I shut the door. I'm talking to Bark Malman on the phone, and we're talking, talking. I go, well, dude, I got to let you go. I'm going to put my suit on, and then I'm going to go down and get some dinner. Well, I go to grab my suit off there, and there's a thin glass. Cylinder. Okay. If that cylinder breaks, water comes pouring out. Well, the hanger turned. Wait, wait, wait. Question. Yes. How much water? Well, when I turned my hanger to pull it off, the tip of the hanger caught the glass cylinder, broke the glass cylinder. Water shot out at me at, I don't know, 7,000 gallons a second in my face. They haven't gone off for a while, so it accumulates. Black water has hit me. I'm wearing glasses. I got black water all over me, and it's coming out. I swear to God, 7,000 pounds a second. And I flip out. I'm on the phone with Bauman. I'm screaming like a child. I run into the next room. I grab the phone, and I call down, and I say, the sprinkler's going off in my room. You've got to send somebody up. 30 minutes later, 30 minutes later, the water went off. 30 to 45 minutes later, the water.
was turned off. I went to the hall. Now, if you think about this, it must have been one of those situations where you make the frantic call, you hang up, and you think in your head, they'll be here any second. Any second. And it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. But you're still thinking any second. So I go into the hallway and water, and I shut the bathroom door, right? I'm like, I'll just contain it in the bathroom. Yeah, you'll close the door. Yeah, close it off. You're like, stay in there. Stay in there. Please stay in there. So... So I'm standing in the hallway. Dudes are coming out, like, scratching their heads or in their boxers. Because it's probably 7 o'clock. Everybody's had a long day. They're done. They're coming out going, what the hell's going on? I'm like, dude, I flooded the bathroom. They're like, they start laughing. So water starts to come through the hotel door. And it just starts to come out into the hallway. And I'm flipping, flipping out, flipping out. These guys are dying. They're taking pictures. It's starting to collect. People are coming out to take pictures. Yeah, it's starting to collect. And what it's also starting to do is drain through to the second floor, drain through to the first floor, into the parking garage. Oh, my gosh. Dude, the water was not turned off for 30 to 45 minutes. I was in the stairwell, and these two guys come up. They're like, we don't know how to do it. They tried turning this thing. I couldn't get it. Dude, I flooded basically an entire hotel, an entire hotel, except for, like, one wing. Only woods. Only me.
Only Woods. Of course. So, here's the deal. So, I go down and I talk to the lady. She is beyond pissed. Yeah. I mean, beyond. You just ruined her hotel. Yeah, I ruined her hotel. And me, the idiot that I am, they had a sticker with a hanger with the little red line through it, like, don't hang your stuff here. I'm like, I better get that off there. I'm running in there, reaching up through the pouring water, and I pull it off and I put it in my pocket. Like, I can be like... There wasn't a sticker. I didn't know. How am I supposed to know? So anyway, they actually let me stay in the hotel. They put me in a different room, which was, I was so uncomfortable. They're safe. I checked out. They had dudes, I mean, 24 hours with the suction, the vacuum. What if you did it again in the new room? You know what I mean? You put it in the. I'm still trying to steam my soup. So I bought all the guys that were there. I bought them all dinner, which, I mean, it was like $50 pizza. It's a big deal. But I felt, you have no idea how bad I feel. I mean, mortified. So pack my stuff. I leave the next morning, obviously. Don't tell a soul. I don't tell my boss. I don't tell anybody at work because I got clowned on a lot. This is a work trip? This is a work trip. This is a business trip.
So the boss is paying for it. Oh, yeah. This is on the company. Of course. Oh, my God. So I get back to work. I don't tell a soul. A couple weeks go by. A couple weeks go by, and I get, yeah, I get. Woods didn't tell anybody weird. Steve Woods, please come to the conference room. And I just vomit in my mouth right there. How long? How long? How many days? Two weeks later. Two weeks later. Yeah, they had to track me down and the whole bit. The whole two weeks, Woods. Sick. Just dying. Dying. Not sleeping at night. You guys. Can you imagine the pacing? Oh. You have no idea. The cigarette. The cigarette. I was just kidding. The cigarette. The whiskey. At that time, I was a big drinker. Big drinker back then. Shot after shot. The chewing of the straws and the pen. Oh, my. Look at it. Makes me nervous thinking about it. You guys see what he does? This is what he does all morning long. Everybody that's in here. My goat. Yeah. He chews on stuff all morning. He's got a cup of straws. And the only reason that the straws are in here.
is for Woods to chew and eat on them all morning long. Psychotic. So two weeks later. Steve Woods, please come to the conference room. I'm like, this is it. It was like March. It was like a death march. So I walked in there. I see this guy, the scariest VP in our company. It was Mark Smith. I was like, oh, God, he's in there with my boss, Alan Dye. Was he tall? And there's a piece of paper. Was he tall? Very tall. There was a piece of paper. So intimidating to me. For me, that's five foot four. Tall people scare you. Yeah, five foot four is tall to me. Well, they have a piece of paper in front of them. And I'm like. I'm dead. And they call me, and they're like, Woods, what the hell happened? And I told them the whole thing. They're like, all right, well, this is on you, by the way. We are not taking responsibility, the whole thing. $4,000, $5,000? $20,000. $25,000. $25,000. $25,000. We got a bill. So I called my dad. Wow. I called my dad, and I go, well. Did you say daddy? I go, dad. I would. No, I didn't. I said, dad. Daddy. Daddy. I go, hey, I got good news. We just bought a Hampton Inn in Scottsdale. Wow. And he goes, excuse me? And I go, yeah, we're hotel owners. Be proud. And he's like, oh, God. So I tell him the whole thing. He's like, Steven, really? Like, he never gets mad at me. Not surprised. Like, he gets disappointed. He does the disappointed bit. And then he does, like, the, okay, well, we'll figure it out. You know, he's the greatest, greatest guy in the world. But $25,000. I think it was $25,000 or more. I mean, it was no lower than $25,000.
So, and this happened, I knew it was today because it was the day after April Fool's Day. Because people, like, Alan was like, I mean, I didn't tell anybody. Dude, my stomach hurts. It was the worst. But I will always remember this date. So, we get the bill. I just, I basically talked to this guy on the phone. The insurance adjuster was like, listen, dude, I don't have 25 grand. I'm not going to pay you. You know what I mean? So, I was like, well, we'll go to court. We'll figure it out. It was an accident. Didn't mean to do it. I go to Scottsdale again. Before you say, before you say, let me pause you. 570-1949, the most expensive mistake you've ever made. 570-1949. I go back to Scottsdale because that was my territory. I had to go there every three weeks. You could not have dreaded a trip more. I didn't even want to go in that town. Well, I drive by because I'm going to eat at Don and Charlie's because that was my place. When I drive by the hotel, there's boards all over the windows. It's boarded up. There's weeds growing. And this is probably, this is probably, I'd say three to six weeks later after the whole bed has gone down, there's weeds growing. And I'm like, what is going on? I'm like, I ran them into the ground. He's the only person I know that's ever shut a hotel down. I shut it down. Are you surprised? Well, apparently, apparently this company came in and they were going to buy it anyway. And they're like, yeah, we were going to gut it. So not a big deal. I never heard.
What? I never heard from them again. Of course. This is what happens to Woods. He gets caught for everything. And it's always the most extreme case. But somehow he gets out of it. It's called he steps in it and it doesn't stick to his shoe. That's right. He's the Teflon Woods. It's stuck to my shoe plenty of time. Teflon. Kids got real thick soles, dude. From all the things I've stepped in over the years. I wish that I could have had a camera on you. The moment that you hear. Steve, what's the conference room, please? White. White. Just all the blood. I'm going to guess this because I know knowing you, you went like this. That's it. Yep. Just that. Just like that. Oh, great. Here we go. It is mine. I knew it was coming. He has zero poker face. No. So he would be like. Yeah. Yeah. If Woods is playing poker and he gets aces, he goes, oh my God. Dude, you guys, I just got all aces. My wife was like, only you. We were dating at the time. She's like, honey, I don't know. I mean, what is your problem? What is your major malfunction? Why can't you just go on a trip and then just come home like all the 900 other outside sales guys that go?
Why can't you just do what they do? Come home, you close some business, you make some commission. I'm getting arrested, I'm flooding hotels. I said to Woods, when he originally told me the story, I said, why didn't you open the curtain and hang your clothing on the shower rod? And he looks at me and he goes, I don't know. I was on the phone and I was really distracted. Bowman was telling me, I don't know about some stripper he was dating. It was just like, yeah, I'm going to steam this up. And I hung it. I've done that, too. You've done it. And don't, lesson, don't ever hang your thing on that sprinkler. Please don't. I thought you were going to say that the hanger, the metal, like, heated up. No. No. When I pulled it off, they have pivoting heads. It pivoted and broke that cylinder. And it was just, I mean, it hit me. My glasses had black film over it. It was like this.
Imagine his face. My suit? When it first birthed. Hellman, I got to call you back. Let me tell you something. I've always said this about Woods. Woods is the best scene in the movie. Yep. That's the way I describe Woods. If nobody's ever met him before, I go, he's the best scene in the movie. And I go, what do you mean? I go, you know the scene where the guy puts his hanger on the sprinkler and it busts and black soot sprays into his face? That's Woods. Yeah, that was me. Every single time. M1, let's see, M1 Jake, you there? Yeah, I'm there. What's your, now, are you calling about an expensive mistake? That's what we're, by the way, if you made a real expensive mistake, call us at 570-1949 or 949mikey at gmail.com. That's what you can text us. What were you calling to say, Jake? Well, actually, I install fire sprinklers. You do? Yeah, and that black water is pretty nasty. It actually stain your skin. Oh, yeah. Did it stain your skin, Woodsy? Dude, I was black from head to toe. My glasses, I mean, I had like Windex on my glasses trying to get them clean. It was brutal. It's the worst smell ever. Does it smell filthy? I did not water sits in there for years. Dude, how many pounds a second does it come out? How many gallons a second would you say?
Every building is different. Like the building that I'm working at right now, it's 846 gallons per minute. Per minute. 846 gallons a minute. And this was 30 minutes. Those things are so tiny, those little sprinklers. I can't believe that. It was ungodly. Wait a minute. Say how many gallons again? 846. 846 equals. Times 30. That was 25,380 gallons. So you paid a dollar a gallon. Or you would have had to pay a dollar a gallon. 25,000 gallons. Lauren's like, you wasteful son of a bitch. I know it. I know it. Dude. Dude. That is crazy. Jake, thanks for the call. Appreciate it. Wow. 570. I was thinking my dad might call in. Yeah. About the bill and like. When I called him and I did, I was like, we just bought a hotel. And he's like, what the hell are you talking about now? What did you do? So did you guys have to pay for it? Not a cent. Who paid? I don't know. And this company that bought that location, dude, it was a prime location. Hampton Inn didn't belong there, okay? This was a prime, like, young people's. They were going to turn in this hotel called Club Indigo or Hotel Indigo. It still may be there. I'm not sure.
If anybody who's been at Scottsdale knows Don and Charlie's over there in Scottsdale, let us know because I want to know if Hotel Indigo's still there. But when I drove by, they had put the sign up, but the rest of it was boarded. Like, that was the first thing they did. They put their Indigo sign up. Obviously, never. They should have called it Indigo Woods. Yeah, they should have. Well, I was going to change the name to the Woods Hotel if we ended up buying it. But my dad would have killed me. He had to cut a check for whatever it was. M1 Pinot. Dino, Dino, D-I-N-O. Go ahead, Dino. Oh, Mike, I've got to say really quick, so happy to hear you back on the radio. Thank you, bro. I appreciate that. And I won't say any negativity. Thank you. I don't want you to, and I don't like it. Okay. Quick story. I used to work for Mission Valley Loads, and I was on my crew. And they have something called an order picker. Now, what you do is you get your merchandise, you put it on the order picker, and you put it on those top, top shelves. Well, that's an easy job, except when you try to get really high and you park under a sprinkler, and then you put it in reverse. So, seven hours later, the fire department finally got the water shut off after I flooded the entire floor of Mission Valley Loat. Yeah, welcome. $20,000. How much? How much? $120,000. Oh, wow. Wait, you had to pay for that? No. Insurance. Insurance, right? Yeah, their insurance covers it, but then they had like a shopping for like three days and one weekend. They had a clearance.
Everything on the floor had to go. I'm talking lumber. On you, dude. Like, that was all you. Vanities, everything. The sad thing is this had happened to him three times before. Are you serious? I'm serious. One guy actually had to go to the hospital because he hit it and he couldn't get off the order pickers because he kept getting water. Oh, my. You would think that after almost a half a million dollars, they would be like, maybe we should do something about that. Maybe we move those up really, really high. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you'd think so, but, you know, I guess they get really great insurance. Yeah. But, yeah, I was on probation. Oh, I'm sure you were. You didn't even get fired for that? No, I didn't get fired. You're a lucky man. I was a good performer. Obviously. Yeah, I stayed there about 16 hours, and I felt bad, and I bought about $30 worth of donuts for everybody. Same bit. How bad did you feel during that clearance sale, just watching all the merchants? Yeah, it wasn't too happy, but I did call my family and tell them to come buy. Oh, yeah. I wonder, yeah. Win-win. Put a second mortgage on the house down here right now. Yeah, you can get these vanities for like 80% off because they got flood damage. Is that what it was, about 80%? 80%, I guess. Dude. Gold and stuff, when things are waterlogged.
Yeah, it was absolutely ridiculous. It was so bad. Yeah, I thought I was canned for sure. Unreal. Thank you for the call. All right, thanks, Mikey. We got a text message that says, Mikey, I live in Scottsdale. Don and Charles is delicious. It's a W now. It's a W. W Hotel. Dude, that's the one. The W stands for Woods. Yeah, it does, actually. The W actually stands for Woods. That is so cool that he knows what I'm talking about. What is Don and Charlie's? What kind of restaurant? It's like a sports bar. Yeah. The best pork chop that you've ever had in your life. It's so cool. I think I want to go on their website and get a T-shirt so I can start wearing a Don and Charlie's T-shirt around here. It's so good. Unbelievable. $25,000 worth of damage. What is your most expensive? My stuff, when I was a little kid, I burnt our back fence down. Didn't tell my dad until I was an adult. Stuff like that. I did the things like when I was driving, I knew it was time for my brakes to go in and get new brake pads and stuff. And I would just not tell my dad. Poor dad. He had to end up paying like eight times as much because it was metal on metal by the time I brought it in there. That stuff. She's rubbing against the curb to stop. Exactly.
570-1949 is the number. And let's see. They say that there still is a Hotel Indigo in Scottsdale. I wonder if that's... It's got to be. I'm trying to think of the road where it was on. I can't think. It's where my bro lives. It's right. I'm telling you, you can see Don and Charlize from their parking lot. M1 Hawk. There he is. M1 Hawk. Oh, this is Steve's dad. This is my dad. It's your dad. Mr. Woods. Hi, all. Hi, Dad. Do you remember getting the phone call? Oh, I remember many phone calls. Do you remember this one? Oh, vividly. I was just going to tell Sienna, when you have your bundle of joy, just pray she's not a free spirit like me. I will. Uncle Woods will only be around at certain times. That's right. That's right. Hey, Dad, do you remember how much it was? Was it $25 or was it $40? No, it was way more than that. Was it really? Because what happened was the water damage went down to floors below it. Yeah. So it was the 72,000 gallons that poured all over you went straight down. Yeah, and it went actually into the parking garage. It was dripping into the parking garage. What was the bill?
I try to block those things out. I know. Did Kathy get involved? Didn't she write a letter? She wrote a letter. Who wrote a letter? My Aunt Kathy. She knows some legal stuff. She wrote a letter and was like, I mean, it was an accident, obviously. Right. And we just never heard from him again. But it was up there, dude. That's pretty crazy. Unless they're listening right now. Unless they're listening right now. Yeah. Oh, we found him. Thank you. Hey, Miguel. Yeah. My little nephew, Jacob Bryant, never gets to listen because he's in school, but he's on spring break, and he's listening today. I want to tell him that I love you, and thank you for listening, and I'll see you soon. There you go. Hey, thanks, M1 Hawk, also known as Woodsy's dad. Thank you. Thanks, Pop. Love that. Talk to you later. Bye. Classic. M1 Hawk. It's the greatest. We're going to do Sienna Sings. We're going to do a little Sienna Sings, see how she does with that. Got a crazy story about a swarm of bees that they found in a Buick. I mean, took over the car. Can you imagine how many bees that is? Also, I want to let people know that today is World Autism Awareness Day. And listeners can donate to help increase autism research and services at autism-society.org. Make some noise here in the studio today.
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This report, it is brought to you by the Masters. Log on to Masters.com, the tournament's official website, April 6th through the 12th, for complete tournament coverage, including real-time scoring and live full-screen video all week long. Masters.com, real-time, anytime. On the 15 northbound Mercy Road, an accident. It's a solo vehicle spin-out. It's over on that left shoulder embankment of the Mercy Road on-ramp, too. the 15 northbound heading on the 78 eastbound this is out of vista at escondido avenue it's a disabled tractor trailer it's on escondido avenue on ramp and as you head on the five southbound watch out right before main street there's a whole bunch of debris in lanes and drivers are swerving to avoid it this report is also brought to you by usaa switch to usaa auto insurance you could save an average of 461 a year in premiums find out how at usaa insurance.com i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not the most health conscious person in the world. Woods. It's hard work looking this good. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. Zienna. When they're real, you know. And Jay. I'm wearing Dockers right now. On FM 94.9. And that is a little Liz Farah supernova. Our phone number here is 570-1949. And you can also text us 949mikey at gmail.com.
If you want to get a hold of us by text, it's an easy way to do that. So you can if you want to. A few things to talk about. We're going to be doing Sienna Sings here in just a minute. Apparently... There was a swarm of bees in where, New Mexico? In New Mexico, yes. A car was brought in just, you know, for a regular little tune-up. But the mechanics discovered a lot more than problems with the car because it was filled with bees. Not only was it filled with bees, but there was a beehive attached underneath. Oh, my gosh. Yes, workers at Premier Tire in New Mexico, they had to contact animal services after the Buick was brought in. And there were thousands. of bees inside. I guess they said, Animal Control said there were nearly three pounds of bees, which is close to 10,000. They had to pull them from the car and transport them to a honey farm. Have you guys ever seen those shows on Animal Planet where they have to go exterminate stuff and do that? I don't watch them. Scary, dude. It skews me out. Yeah, it does me too. But I want the honey. I remember... I love honey. Dude, episode... There's an episode of...
There's an episode of Man vs. Wild where Bear is out in, I want to say, I want to say the desert. Like somewhere in the Mexican desert. There's bees in the desert? Yeah, there is. Oh, yeah. Tons of them. Tons. And so he's out and he's looking for food. And he finds a... gigantic hive inside a little cave. And so he goes, don't try this if you're by yourself and you're looking for food. Don't do this unless it's absolutely necessary. But I'm starving. I've got to get my hands on that honey. And he's looking at it. He goes, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to start a fire and I'm going to use the smoke to calm them down. So dude starts a fire. puts it in like, you know, cactus husk. Right. Yum. And he's using the smoke to calm the bees down. He's what, wafting it over? Yeah, he's wafting it over. He tries to calm the bees down, goes in, takes a big chunk of the honey, and you see him feasting. This honeycomb. This is so delicious. I haven't eaten in, you know, 14 days. It's the first food I've got.
So then he's walking through the desert. Oh, by the way, as he's eating it, he goes, and he gets stung. He gets stung by one on his eye. So he walks through the desert, and he finds a rattlesnake, and he wants to kill the rattlesnake and eat it. Of course. And it's like four hours after he's been stung, so he's like, I think I'm going to try it. Swollen face. His eyes are almost completely swollen. No way. That guy is crazy. Crazy. You know, I never used to really be into that show, and then I heard the Urban Survivor, and I'm like, I'm going to go get that on DVD. I'm going to watch them all. Dude, I'm telling you, it's the greatest show. Bear does the craziest thing. I've got bees in my attic right now. Do you really? Write that down, dude. You have bees in there? In my belfry. Yeah, it's all of a sudden, you know, every so often, once a year, they come flying in, and I can't figure out how to get them out. Why do I feel like... When I come for brunch on Sunday, I'm going to have delicious, fresh honey for some reason harvested from your attic. Of course. By you. My thought is to tape over the little hole they're going through, but then I feel bad because there's all those bees that are trapped in there. You feel bad, dude? Well, not for much longer. They're stinging your children in their sleep. You know what? The honeybees aren't really, they're not motivated to come sting you unless you mess with them. Is that what they told you? Yeah. Dude, I got stung in the mouth by a wasp. Oh. Flew into my Mountain Dew.
I was a little kid. Of course you were. Yeah, of course. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, it was at Mountain Dew's side of the pool. I was probably 10, was swimming. And, you know, Mountain Dew, a lot of sugar, delicious. Flew right in. I took a drink right on the inside of my mouth. Oh. I was like, ah! Bumblebees are the worst. All kinds of stuff. I got stung by three bumblebees. Oh. Oh. I've never been stung. Really? Now that I say that, I'm not going to be stung. Knock on Formica. I see a bee, and I'm like, oh, my God. I'm that guy. Which is going to be over for brunch, and there's going to be, like, those bees are going to break free out of Jay's attic, and he's going to be, like, running down the street. Yeah. You're not supposed to shoo them away. I shoo them away like crazy. Don't make them out. I use my hat. Yeah, that's what it does. I had these bees in my water meter last year, and I just walked right up to it, pulled the thing off, and set it down, and they didn't sting. They didn't want to mess with me or anything. Woodsy, when you got stung by the wasp, a bee sting, when you get stung by a bee, it has little barbs on its stinger so it pulls itself apart and dies. Yeah. But I have heard that a wasp doesn't have a barbed stinger. Is that true? As far as I know, I mean, it was a long time ago, but I remember having to go to the dentist because I had a welt, like, on my gum. Oof.
inside my mouth. I know bumblebees don't have the barb because they see you as many times as they want. They just latch on and just keep... Wait a minute. A bumblebee is different than a bee? Oh my gosh. They're the big black thing. Oh, that's what that is? They're just vicious. They had made a hive in the ground and my sister threw a railroad tie over the, just a little metal stake over the fence and she was right there. I was a good 50 feet farther away and everybody was out laughing. I was the first one to the door, and they were on me. I had a blue shirt on, I guess, and they just latched on. Wait, what does that mean? Yeah, obviously. I guess they like the color. They like the color blue? I'm going to wear pink on Sunday. Dude, I'm finding out so much this morning. Don't the honeybees, they die once they sting you because it rips off the back of their... Honeybees, but not bumblebees. Yeah, the honeybees. I had no idea that those big, giant, black bees are called... I thought all bees were bumblebees. Really? And they don't have barbs and they can keep stinging you? No, they just kept stinging. They're awful looking. They're scary. They're viciously... They look furry. They're trying. Yeah, they're furry. They're out. They don't have any venom or poison or any of that stuff, do they? Whale meat? I don't know what you're talking about. Tons. All right, so anyway, there's that. Hey, can we do a little Sienna Sings?
Are we ready to do a little Sienna Sings? Yeah, I've been standing here bracing myself. Are you ready? Let's see. Do I have a little Sienna Sings? I think I even have a Sienna Sings song. Let's do this. There we go. So, does he? No. Now, here's the way we've done this. There's nobody going to be playing on the phone or anything. We're just going to have fun here in the studio. And we'll ask you here in the studio whether or not you think she'll get it right. The bottom line is that Sienna... who will be 25 tomorrow, doesn't know a lot of music. She knows a lot of pop music. I know a lot of top 40. Stuff like that. You want Britney Spears? I can perform. She knows it. She can sing and everything. She's got a good voice. Problem is that when it comes to anything outside of pop music during her generation, she doesn't really know it that well.
Especially hair metal. Stuff that we would know pretty easily. Back of my hand, pal. That's right. Now there's a few that she does. Your music I do not know at all, Woods. There's a few songs that she knows that we've been surprised that she does know. But we're going to give it a shot. What's the first one she's going to do? Metallica, Inner Sandman. Now we don't want her to tell us if she knows it. We don't want her to tell us. You guys just, you can just shout it out. You think she'll know Inner Sandman? Yes, no. A lot of no's. A lot of no's. A lot of no's. All right, let's do it. We'll see. And she's looking at a screen right now with karaoke words. Is it loud enough? Oh, yeah. She knew it. Nailed it. Got it. Love it. Okay, I think I have this. My brother's a Metallica fan, so he would have killed me. He would have killed you. Yeah. What's the next one, Jay? Whitesnake, Here I Go Again. No chance. Anybody think she'll know Whitesnake, Here I Go Again? No chance. No chance. No chance. Go ahead. Oh, no. I'm going. Are you kidding me? Uh-oh. She's got it. But I sure know where I've been. She's following the words on the screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hanging on the promises and the songs of yesterday. Hold on. She might know it. And I made up my mind. Ain't wasting any more time. Here I go now. She knows it. Yep. She got it. Here I go now. Nice. Well done. Well done, Sienna. She's two for two.
She's two for two. Very well done. Very well done. Uh-oh. What's the next one? ACDC. Dirty Deeds. Done. No way. Not a chance in the world. No way. You do this one. No way. You will blow me away. Look at her poker face. All right. Go ahead. Here we go. Get pumped up. One of my faves. She's looking at the screen, and the words will scroll across the screen to teach her where to sing. If you're having trouble. Oh, my God. You want to graduate. Here's what you got to do. Let it go. Well done. Close? No. I would say no. Nowhere near close. But I do love hearing it. Oh, I love when she didn't know the song. I love it. Oh, it's a funny thing in the world. That is Sienna Sings. Sienna has some new movies that are going to be coming out into theaters this weekend. Yeah, one of them I'm going to be seeing today. Weird.
What is it? It actually came out on Wednesday. Why the toot noise? You know why? You know why? He says she's farty. Who? She's the definition of farty. Oh, boy. Mikey has a definition of farty. If somebody's farty, that means if you see... I prefer sweaty. I should have never said farty. You said farty. You said it, pal. I didn't say it. You introduced it, Mikey. Yeah, I've never heard that before. Can I retract it? No. If somebody is farty, that means you don't want to follow them. into the bathroom. If you see this person come out, don't go in after her. Take a breather. And this girl is the definition of farty. Who is it? You know who it is. Smiley. Her movie what? Yeah, her movie, The Last Song, it actually came out on Wednesday, but it's like the big one of the weekend. Are you going to go see it? You know it. Are you going with her? Are you sure? Are you sure? Mikey, I think we would both cry. It would be good. You're going to go and you're going to listen to her CD the whole way over. It'd be a good birthday present. This is your new favorite bit. Your favorite song. I like this song. This is a theme song. It's a great song.
She's beautiful. I think she's beautiful. If Farty was beautiful, she'd be beautiful. Stop it. She's 17. You cruel, cruel man. Why did I have to say that in front of him? It's the greatest thing. I'm taking it and run with it. I know. You know, Sienna introduced me to this song a couple of weeks ago. So sad. I know, and I hate to admit it, but the hook gets me. How many times have you listened? I'm going to be honest with you. I've probably heard this song 45 times. Me too. I've probably heard it at least 45 times. I've heard it three times. Three times too many. I think it's Caesar. I'm going with my 14-year-old sister, Waverly. I was going to bring the stepdaughter too, but I can't pick her up until four, so she may be missing it. You're giving me the thumbs down. That's giving you the Caesar. Yeah. Julius Caesar. Both thumbs down. Release the lions. Yeah.
Sure. Also, you guys will be stoked about this next movie that's coming out. It actually looks really good with Liam Neeson, Sam Worthington, Clash of the Titans. Hey, okay, so when I was a kid, my oldest brother wanted to take me to see a new movie that was coming out that I didn't want to see. And he gave me a choice, okay? He said, we can either go see The Clash of the Titans with Harry Hamlin. Wow. Okay? Or the other new release, the one that he wanted me to see, was a movie with an actor named Harrison Ford called Raiders of the Lost Ark. And I wanted to see Clash of the Titans. Of course you did. And he didn't let me. And how glad are you? And so we go to see Raiders of the Lost Ark, right? And the boulder comes down and the whole bit. As the boulder comes down and they're shooting the arrows at him and he gets on the plane and he takes off in the very beginning of the movie, my brother goes, you still want to see Clash of the Titans? I told you, clown. I told you. Listen, your older brother. And I will never forget this moment. This was the brattiest moment of my life. I go, can we? You sound like me. Can we? Can we?
Like a little jerk. But you guys remember seeing the preview to that movie, right? I thought it looked pretty good. Yeah. It's that huge monster with a million teeth. The Harry Hamlin one was the stupidest movie ever in the history of the world. And I made him take me to see it, you know, like a week later because I would stay with him for the summer. And so... We went and saw Raiders of the Lost Ark the next weekend. We had to go see this Harry Hamlin accident. Harry Hamlin. Yeah, Harry Hamlin. Yeah, Harry Hamlin accident called Clash of the Titans. I guess George Pappard was busy. Yes, because George... Here's a scene. This is from the new one with Liam Neeson. Let's hear it. You will not defeat the Kraken, much less Hades. If you continue to leave, you will die. and Argus will still fall. Let's go see it. What's this weekend? For me to say it looks good, like this is not a movie I would normally want to see, but I think it looks pretty good. And that makes you a god. Why don't we watch like 300 and then we go see this one, man? Because you haven't seen 300. I haven't yet. Watching slow-mo and then we'll go see this one. So busy this weekend, dude. Frankie, I'll go with you. You'll go? Yeah. I don't really want to with you. Frankie! What? You're going to go see the Miley one, man. You want to come with me to that?
No, thank you. I bet you'd like it. I don't want to see that. I want to go see Clash of the Titans. What if Woods came with me to go see the last song, Miley Cyrus? Hey, dude. Yeah. Let's go to BevMo, get some Chardonnay. And then... And then, you know, we'll get like a limo, take us down to... Whoa, really? Whoa. We can't drive after we have the white wine spritzers, and then we'll go see Clash of the Titans. Yeah. So busy. What do you have going on this weekend? Surfing. Today. Where are we surfing? I mean, I've got a nap. Well, all I know is there's going to be a photo album up later today called Surfing with My Besties. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. Hey, dude, don't forget the sunblock. I won't. I don't want you burning your precious bag. I won't, dude. I'll be fully moisturized. You know that. You should still go and keep an eye out because there's a seven gill shark floating around. Please don't talk about it anymore. Good Lord. What if Woods gets hurt? Can I take a knife of some sort and like tie it to my leg? That'll attract it. Yeah, you cut yourself, put blood in the water. Don't forget. What?
Leave the ring in the car, dude. Why? Shiny objects. The glint of the ring. I didn't wear mine last time. Leave all your jewelry in your car. Really? Yeah. Leave all your gold chains. I got to take off my Mr. T chain. Take your chains off. What about this clock I have around here? What about that? Do I have to take that off? I'd leave that one at home. Maybe bury it. Well, the glint of that. I'm going to actually dress up as a shark. One more movie. One more movie that's also coming out today. Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married to? Yeah. Tyler Perry, Janet Jackson. Since so many people saw the first one. But it says, Why Did I Get Married? T-O-O. They're clever. That's a. That's what I call a must-miss. Yeah. That is. Lauren changed a diaper. Is this the first time you changed a diaper? No. Because it's your sister's baby, right? Yeah. Is it your sister's baby? What? What? Yeah, this is my sister's baby. It's not even the first time I changed her diaper. We just had a little bit of a situation yesterday. Was there a blowout? It was a blowout. Oh. There was feet in it. Why do you do that? Not my feet. Not my feet. Yeah, I didn't think so. Oh.
My sister came back from the store and said, you look frazzled. You think? Yeah. My wife is really good about the... Can you not just stick them in the sink and hose them off with the little thing? Why not? Not yet. That's exactly what I would do. I guarantee you would do that. That's why Jamie and I are going to adopt. We want to adopt a 17-year-old. Yeah. Make sure she's hot. Jay. Weird, weird, weird, weird, weird, and weird. You're being inappropriate. Well, of course, it's Jay. Make sure she's hot. Very creepy. Father of four, by the way. What was the deal? You were babysitting? I was babysitting. My sister had to run to the store. While she was gone? While she was gone. Did she get nervous leaving the baby? Oh, yeah. She text messages me like... Was that the first time you've been alone with the baby? No, not the first time. It was just the first time we had a blowout incident. I would have waited until she got home. I'm like, I'm not your mom. Oh, but then I couldn't like, I couldn't put the clothes back on her or anything like that. So she came, my sister came back and the baby was wrapped in like three blankets. I'm like, I think she's warm. That's awesome. Yeah. She's warm with poop. Yeah. No, I cleaned her off real good. You did? Disgusting.
It's awful, isn't it? Repugnant. Oh, yeah. It's awful. How many have you changed? Yes, it is. How many did you change? Like two in my life. Really? What? I've got three kids. I've probably changed two. I am right there with you, bro. I love my wife and I will love my child. It'll be the greatest dad. You pick up dog poop, though, right? I can do that. Jamie does. You don't do that either. Jamie picks it up. I don't do it. I can't do poop. Why? You get sick? Yes. I can't give the dogs dog food. I get sick. What? Get sick. I do get sick. Really? The one time, she asked me to go put food in the dog's bowl. Hey, Pete. I opened the big container, the smell hit me, and I vomited in our garage. I have the worst gag. I do. I have a weak stomach. What are you, seven? No, I have a weak stomach. Liar. If it's a baby. She saw me throw up in our, I go. I opened dog treats one time at my apartment. I opened the bag of dog treats. I opened it, and it hit me, and I went. And I threw up in the sink. Oh, my goodness. I swear. But you dip. What? Yeah. Dude, I can lick this thing clean. I've seen it happen. Copenhagen. But dog food and dog treats and dog poop. Yeah. You're the funniest movie. You're the funniest scene in the movie. I've done it. I've done it. The guy in the movie. This is like a selective gag reflex to me. It's not selective. I'm telling you. You know, I was the same way. And you know what I did? I grew up Peter Pan. Did you, dude?
If it's your baby, you have to do it. It's what my wife's for. It's still gross. It's what my wife's for. I can't do it. I could change a diaper blindfolded. No, I can't. I cannot. Oh, I could do it so easy. See, I'm the one getting in trouble, and Mikey has three kids and has only changed two diapers, and everyone's mad at me. Well, I've changed a lot of peeps. Really? Yeah, I'll change the peeps. You change the Easter candy out of the diapers? That's right. I can't do that either. But I'll go, I'll say to my wife, I'll go, uh, hon, we got a problem. She goes, what? I go, we got a two. We got a stage rap. We got a two. I go, we got a two. And he just, here, take it. Hand that puppy off. I'm with you, dude. Yep. I'm with you. Happened yesterday. You need to change up. You're their father. Yeah, Sienna. I'm a chat. Greatest video ever, by the way. You hear about the doctor performed a C-section on somebody when pregnant? We'll tell you all about that. That's a good one. That's a good one. Oh, you know what I want to get people calling about? Who has the cheapest dad? Do you have a cheap dad in the room? In the room if you have a cheap dad. Nobody's raising their hand. A couple of people are raising their hand. I'm talking about turn those lights off. We're getting like 18 pounds of dog food because we don't want to ever buy dog food again. And it's on sale this one time.
Like the most frugal dude and everything has to be by coupon, even your vacations and like that kind of deal. The reason I brought this up is because Woods and I were talking about our dads and, you know, how frugal our dads can be. And it came to us that there are people listening that your dad is so cheap that fill in the blank. 570-1949. FM 94.9. Caesar, hey, Caesar Gonzalez, I went by Mama Testas, and the corn tortillas, they're the way to go. Tell me about the Yucatecos. We take pork, we marinate it for 24 hours in anato paste and orange juice. Then we wrap it up in roasted banana leaves, and we steam it for six more hours. Tender pork, sweet, sour, and spicy all at the same time. That sounds yummy, Chico. Tell me about the Mojaros de Carne. Mojaros de Carne, dude? Their roll tacos are Guerrero style. They're serving a spicy beef broth. If you have one too many bruskies, they're the cure for the hangover, bro. Okay, now, Flavio, tell me how you beat that Bobby Flay guy from the Food Network.
Bobby Flay, he challenged me to a fish taco throwdown. But did you win? Que onda, wey. I'm Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa. Of course I won. If he challenged me to a cabbage and potato soup, he would have had a chance. Hey, jefe, you're here legally. Listen, Sancho. On Mama Testa, we do everything you can do until you get a taco. We fry them, we steam them, we grill them, we stew them. Come into Mama Testa and I will show you authentic Mexican food like you never tested, Pedro de Maíz. Mama Testa Taqueria, University Avenue and Richmond in Hillcrest. Mama Testa is my one-stop shop for real Mexican food. See you later. Te lo laves, wey. Aye, aye, aye. Why have I done? We may not be able to lower the cost of gas, but we can do something about how many miles you will drive per gallon. Stop by your local Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts store today and let us help you increase the performance of your car or truck. Simple things like replacing your air filter. Changing worn-out spark plugs and using fuel injector cleaner can add up to better fuel economy and big savings. There's a Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts store close to you.
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88 exp tire for the location nearest you on the five northbound after eighth street that incident we had earlier with a flat tire in the slow lane it has been cleared also on the five southbound before the 805 we've got a trash can rolling around in the number two lane and looks like the five northbound coronado avenue that accident has cleared too we had one car going the wrong way on the right shoulder the other one down the embankment but everybody's up and you should be able to move through without a problem This report is brought to you by StandForLess.com. Take a deep breath. Think about air quality, combining car trips, riding a bike, or using low VOC paint. It can make us all breathe a little easier. Learn how at StandForLess.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Little Marley. Hey? No! Who are you talking to? Myself. This guy. This woodsy. I haven't slept in five days. I feel like a meth head. Yeah, I know. I was going to be like, what's the matter with you? Scratching at his skin. Well, you've got loud neighbors next door. Well, people that do meth sleep more than I do. Does that make any sense? It's been kind of crazy around your place because they're bumping the bass. One of them works, one of them doesn't. So I get double time. When I get home from the show and I want to take a nap, I have... And then it's nighttime.
And I have the same. Just nonstop dance party. I want to rip my hair. Like, I want to rip my throat out. Like, it drives me. I want to sleep in a coffin. You guys know that I hate excess noise. We have a spare bedroom, Woods, if you need to stay somewhere. Yeah. Guy needs it. We have a spare bedroom. I'm about to sleep in my shower. Yeah. Just curled up with a blanket. I don't blame you. He would stay at your place, but he knows he'd freak the kids out walking around in a white robe. Smoking cigs. Smoking cigarettes. Blasting cigs. Blasting cigarettes. Okay. So, first of all, call in if you have cheap dads. We're looking for the cheapest dad. I mean, the dad that it will embarrass us when you tell us. It will be embarrassed for you. That's who we want to talk to. 570-1949. But first, Sienna is going to tell us about the doctor that performed the C-section on a woman that... wasn't pregnant. This is so messed up. Yeah. This is just like, how does this happen? It happened in North Carolina. The North Carolina Medical Board said that a doctor and interns at Cape Fear Valley Medical Center attempted to... Are you kidding? What? Cape Fear Valley... Counselor. Yeah. It's in North Carolina. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's a real place. I thought it was a horror movie. Counselor. It is a horror movie. Named after the real place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.
They attempted to induce labor on a patient who came in, and it didn't work. When they induced her, she wasn't going into labor. The baby wasn't coming out? Exactly. Yeah. So they decided, okay, well, we need to perform a cesarean, do a C-section, get this baby out of here. They cut her open, only to find that there's no baby inside. What? How? It's a really good question. Okay, so a lady comes in. Uh-huh. She looks pregnant. Yeah. And she's like... I'm going to labor. Feeling all the pains. Yeah, I'm going to labor. I'm going to labor. And they're like, okay, cool. Let's just put some Pitocin in you and try to get this sucker out. Yep. Apparently, several doctors examined her, but it came down to an intern who did a final look. When the doctors were out of the room, she said that she did an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. The patient somehow convinced her to induce her at the hospital. And then the intern said, well, there's nothing happening. We need to do a cesarean. And the doctors were just like, okay. Wow. Yeah. That is nuts. No, this is the really crazy part to me is there's some sort of a disease called, you know I'm not going to be able to get this.
Let's try. Let me see it. Right there. Oh, it's pseudosiasis. Oh, yeah, pseudosiasis. No, it's like basically impossible. Well, the symptoms from this disease are they associate with pregnancy even though you're not pregnant. I guess the false pregnancy can be caused by changes in the body and hormones. So this woman fully thought that she was pregnant, and there were numerous pregnancy effects happening to her to make her think that she was. It's called pseudosiasis, you plebeian. You've never heard of that word, artisan. Why am I not surprised? Why, are you too busy reading highlights? Is that it? Cracked magazine? Yes, mad. Alfred E. Newman doesn't have it written on his teeth. The main doctor is still at the hospital, you know, like still going on with his regular routine. And the hospital administration has not commented on the incident. But I'm sure we'll be hearing more about this. I would hope so. So was this her first time going to the doctor when she thought she was in the labor? It doesn't say all those details, which is why you're like, how does this happen? I believe she was crazy and wanted to have a baby. Yeah, I mean.
I guess, but then it says that she was suffering from cytosis. Yes, cytosis. How do you not know that word? Grave digger. Grave digger. Farmer. Grazer. Bacon grazer. Bacon grazer. Barn dweller. This is M1 Jen. She's calling because her dad, she believes, is pretty cheap. What's the deal, Jen? Actually, it's my friend's father. Okay. She had a stepmother and a stepbrother, stepsister, and her and two other siblings. And they would have to share the tub. Not together, but her brother, her stepbrother, her stepsister, her older sister, then her, then her brother at separate times. Yeah, I think she, did she say? She did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't say that. Can't say that.
Well, she's probably right, but that's disgusting. Now, that may be your winner. Yeah. How do you beat that? How do you beat that? Putting more and more kids in the same bathwater. That's repugnant. Not to mention, not to mention, it would be cold. Of course. It would be cold by the time the last one got in. I can't think about it. That's so foul. There's like seven of them. Yeah, that's hideous. Thank you, Jen. Appreciate it. M1 Family's on the line. Are you there? Yes, I am. You got a cheap uncle? Yes. What's the deal? I was in a business partnership with my uncle, and we were on an away trip. I took my employee out to dinner, and we had a $19.50 dinner bill. And I took $3.50 to put it on a credit card. Later, when I turned all the receipts in, Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
That's the business partner with him. He said, and because you gave away so much money percentile-wise, it shows that you have an attitude of giving away money, and you can't run a business like that. Now, yeah, that's what I said. I said, well, I've had enough, and I don't work for him anymore. Wow. Good for you. So it was basing it all on the tip? Yeah, and he looked at the tip, and he goes, why are you tipping 19%? You should tip 15%. And why tip at all? They get paid for what they get. It's pretty brutal. I hate to say it, but his uncle's a clown. Yeah. M1 Perry, you there? Yes, I am. Cheap dad? Yes, I am. He's actually my stepdad, but I would say he's one of the cheapest dads I've ever seen. He works at, he's retired, and he now works as a maintenance man at a shopping center. And you know how the public bathrooms have those giant toilet paper rolls? Yes. Wow.
That's, like, the worst toilet paper, too. It's sandpaper. Yeah. And you can see through it. It's basically the same stuff they make spring rolls out of at a Vietnamese restaurant. Women's pantyhose. Yeah, women's pantyhose. Disgusting. Same thing. Brillo pads. It's so gross. It's so thin. You know, that's one thing. Let me tell you something. That is one thing that I will splurge on. I'll pay $70 for the toilet paper. I swear. Mine has lotion in it. It's delightful. Aloe vera. Yeah. Delightful. I just love you saying it's delightful. Why do you run home so fast? Yeah. Why are you going home? Because I'm going to take a nap on it, too. It's my pillow. It's great. It's like bedding. That is awful. 570. 1949 is our number if you want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Would anybody like to hear? Yeah, go ahead. I was just going to say a friend of mine's dad used to take them. You know how like at the churches they'll have complimentary coffee and donuts and stuff like that? Right. He would take them around from church to church. No way. And have them go get the free stuff at the end.
They wouldn't even go to the service, but he would have them be the first ones in line to go get it. So that they could get free donuts. Yeah, and there was four of them. So he used to be like, let me see which one of you guys can get the most donuts. That's the worst. It's the worst. He's got like a dozen by the end of it. He's robbing churches. He's stealing from the church. It's pretty bad. Who wants to hear Donald Duck do a scene from Braveheart? Anybody? I do. Anybody? I do. I do. Now for something completely different. What was that? I don't know. I think it was William Wallace. It was William Wallace. Go ahead, William. I am William Wallace. William Wallace is seven feet tall.
With fireballs for my eyes. And both children in there for my eyes. They remove your money. And I see a whole new army of my argument. Here in your fight of purity. You have to fight as free men. Are you kidding me? I'm free men you are. What will you do? We're not freedom? Will you fight? Sorry, William. Fight against that. No. We will run and we will live. Fight and you may die. Fight. I know you. I missed a while. I'm dying in your bed. Many years ago. Once you've been written, I'm dead all the day.
From this day to night, for one chance, just one chance, to come right here and tell our enemies that you will take our lives, but you will take our free lives. Wow! Goosebumps. I got shivers. Goosebumps. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. I can hear Donald Duck. You know what's going through my mind right now? Goodfellas. Oh, yeah. The Godfather. Fast Times at Ridgemont. Fast Times at Ridgemont. 16 Candles, Footloose. Wow. Listen to the movies. The possibilities are... Casino. Maybe next time Donald rehearses a little bit. Why? Maybe next time Donald's partner knows his lines.
Yeah, you can take. I mean, sorry. Sorry. You can take your life. Yeah. You do your line. I'll do mine. Unbelievable. Scale of one to ten. Braveheart, ten. Yes. Eleven. Twelve. These go to eleven. Yeah. Eleven. I should probably watch it this weekend, huh? Yeah. Maybe you could be like my wife while sleeping. and probably mine too. Yeah, fall asleep. My wife still hasn't seen Gladiator. Dude, how bad... I haven't seen Gladiator. I've seen Gladiator at least. How bad does this kill you? How bad does this kill you? You're watching a movie. You look over at your wife. She's doing great. She's into it, right? It's dark. You're watching the movie on and it comes to that part where you know it's awesome and you don't want to let her know you were looking at her but you want to see on her face how much she's into it at that point and you look over and this is what you see. Drool coming out of the side room and you're like, We tried. You're like, I've been watching a movie by myself for 25 minutes. Just stoked for that one part. Like, my name is Maximus Decimus Morinius. Right, right. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance. It's not because we don't like the movie. It's just because, I don't know. Like, I can't stay awake. I watched The Blind Side over the weekend. And I really wanted to see it. And I fell asleep for like 10 minutes. And then I woke up and I was like, man. You know what? I'll do this too. I'll do the thing where I look over at Rebecca.
And I'll see it, right? And then I'll just stare at her. I'll just stare at her. And she's like, I'm not asleep. Then I see this. I see this. She plays it off. She plays it off. To open her eyes and, oh, yeah. Oh, gosh, great. I love the film work. I love the camera work. I do that all the time. She'll go like this. She'll open her eyes. She'll go, wow. That's me. Really? That's me. I wake up to Todd laughing, and I just wake up, and I'm like, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, yeah. He's like, you were asleep. I saw you. Mike, that's when you have to go, like, trip over some garbage pails and drum cymbals or something like that. You got to, like, wake people up. Dudes, don't do that. Jamie can't sleep during mine because the whole time, like, wait for this. Wait, you're going to see this, and I give her the elbow. She's like, dude, look at my arms. They're bruised. Seriously, have you ever seen, have you, like, if you've never gone out to dinner, with Woodsy and his wife all night long. Babe. Like, her arms must be black and blue. He's constantly, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe. Elbow. He does. But guys don't do that. Guys don't do the fall asleep in a movie. I do if it's not a great movie. Really? Yeah, if it's not a good movie, I fall asleep. I don't fall asleep while we're watching movies. I don't sleep much. I never used to.
You're like a crackhead over there. I swear. I mean, seriously. The majority of the time we order a movie on demand, we end up watching it the next morning. We do that, too. Yeah. We do that, too. Let's see. 570-1949 is our phone number if you want to give us a call. Or 949mikey at gmail.com. I think I like Donald Duck doing movies. I think that I'm in love with Donald Duck doing movies. We'll do Donald Duck Theater. Mikey Show, M1 Woodchip is on the line. My man. What's going on, guys? What's up? What's up, dude? When I was in high school on the baseball team, we literally had fights, like physical fights over who would win in a fight, William Wallace or Maximus Desmitterillian. And we had guys fight the point on each side and literally argue and get in fights with each other. Let's do it now. Who do you think would win? I'm a William Wallace guy. So am I. You know why? Now, I know that there's going to be a lot of people that are going to disagree with this. I believe William Wallace has more heart than Maximus. Boy, I think Maximus takes it. Maximus is the gladiator, guys? He's the gladiator. That dude can fight. He knows all the cool moves. You have to tear William Wallace's lower colon out of his stomach in order to stop him. I think Maximus could do it. Yeah, you have to split him in half. Boy, that'd be a great fight. 5-7-0.
$1.94.9. I like it, Woodchip. I like it, too. All right. I go Maximus. You go Maximus? I take Maximus. Yeah, dude. He has tigers biting at him. He's got sword fight, you know. Who else? Anybody else? Anybody else want to yell out who they think would win? I think the Gladiator guy. Gladiator. Maximus? Why Maximus? Oh, he's a warrior. He was a heck of a warrior, though. He was a fighter. Yeah, he was. Who would win in a fight? Rocky or Jean-Claude Van Damme? Rocky. Rocky. He would beat the crap out of Jean-Claude. Out of Jean-Claude? Yes. Well, he would cry about it and fall down a couple rounds, and then he would come back and do it. Rocky would whip him. Rocky or Million Dollar Baby? That's not funny. Million Dollar Baby. Million Dollar Baby. Have you seen that movie? Yeah. You wept, didn't you? No, I wept. I didn't. Wept.
I didn't. You didn't cry? Not at all. You did not cry. I'll tell you why. Cheap cry. Yeah. Run up behind me and scream boo. I'm going to jump. Really? She dies at the end. I mean, of course. Does there need to be layers of sadness for you? It has to be like, no, it's too much. It's like, it's like over sadding me. It was sad. Yeah. It's over. It's overdoing it. We love that movie, man. It was a great flick. I don't like it when it's cheap. Write that down. Yeah, I was just going to say that. I was just going to say that. 570-194-9. Who wins between the alien or the predator? I don't watch fantasy movies. The guys are dorking out right now. I like girls. I don't watch fantasy movies, okay? Are they? Let's see. There's a couple of things I still haven't told you about that I need to get out to the world. Oh, man, people would have freaked out if they didn't know that Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard are going on tour together. Thank God. They are. Oh, my gosh. What if I hadn't gotten that out today? Season two American Idol finalists, Mike. Must miss. Yeah, the eight people that were going to go that wouldn't have gone. Yeah, they'll be there. I love you, Clay. That's right. I love you, too. You know how many Claymates you just upset? Yeah. Bring it on. I'll take you all on at the same time. How about that?
One arm tied behind my back. What's the deal with that, Santa? Is that it? Yeah, they're going on tour July 23rd. It's called Timeless. My fee will be front and center. Yeah, I will. Yeah, definitely. Well, where are the dates? Let me see the places. Really? They're not coming to San Diego, but they're going to L.A. Too bad. What about Jesse James and this vandalism thing? What's that? Yeah, he vandalized a car a while ago. I think it was just... About a week ago, there was paparazzi, you know, following him, obviously, because it's not like he's in the news right now. But a guy was sitting in his van across the street from his West Coast chopper store. And Jesse James walked out and apparently like slashed the SUV tires. The door was dented and a window was scratched is what the paparazzi guy is saying. And he's saying that Jesse James did it. Oh, no. Guess who's here? Whatever. Is that my jam? Yeah, that's your jam. Yeah. Y'all need to leave my boy Jesse James alone, man. Y'all need to leave him alone. What's up, Tyler? What's up, dude? What's going on? Hang on, bro. Hang on. What are you doing? Hello? No. Don't get your... What up, y'all?
We're on the air. Topper, we're on the air. Topper. Topper. Get off the phone. I know you are, but we're on the air. We're on the air. All right, go out of the studio. Topper's the guy that you have at work that will... Stop everything. And he always has to... You tell him the story. He's like, oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Well, I did this. We're on the air, Topper. Great, dude. This is important. I know it is, but can you get off it because we're on the air? I'll call you back, bro. Sorry to bother you. All right, though. Yeah, yeah. All right, though. Sorry, dude. You call all your friends a dog? Yeah, you know that, dude. How old are you? 38. Oh, wow. What's up? What's up, L.O.B.? Yeah, how you doing, Topper? You guys got a lot of people in here. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do, Topper. What's your name, little girl? Okay, she's not... Hey, where's Matt? Matt here? You don't worry about that. Don't worry about Matt. What's up, Sienna? Oh, my God. Oh, that's creepy. How you doing? Hey, you know, we just announced yesterday that Sienna... Is with child. Isn't that sweet? She's going to be having a little baby. What's that mean? Okay, weird. Hey, why don't you let those little guys breathe? All right. That's getting weird. Getting real weird when you say that, Topper. What's going on? You guys going surfing? Yeah, Topper. We're going surfing. Dude, I got a yacht.
I got a yacht this weekend, man. We're going to go out and do some sport fishing. I actually caught one of those sharks that you were talking about. Did you? I caught it and I stuffed it, dude. It's already in my office already. You have a stuffed shark. You know, you sound like Matthew McConaughey. Well, he's a friend, dude. He's a friend. Really? Don't worry about him. Matthew McConaughey is a friend of yours? Yeah, we're going to go on the yacht this weekend. I'm actually going to go up to L.A. I'll be courtside. Really? Yeah, I'll be courtside. Courtside for the Lakers? Yeah, courtside for the Lakers. How do you get to be courtside for the Lakers? I know. Dude knows a lot of people. Really? I know a lot of people. Really, Topper? Yeah, you guys can come, dude, if y'all want. Yeah, that'd be awesome. If we do come, are you going to wear that trucker hat to the side like that? Yeah, of course. Just like you're rocking it right now? Von Dutch, dude. That's my buddy, Von Dutch. Really? Von Dutch is your friend? He's my friend. I just call him VD. VD. Really? You call him VD? I call him VD. Like venereal disease. Yeah, we just call him VD. We got our nipples pierced together, bro. Weird. Weird. He's a friend, dude. Weird. He's a friend. But, yeah, man, we're going to go up and hang in L.A., and we're going to be on the yacht. If you guys want to come, you know, you can. You guys in? I want to go to the Lakers game. You can't come this time, but the next time I go, I'll make sure I'll stop by on my way out. You'll get us all. I'll juice up. I'll juice the Hummer up, dude, and we will take it to L.A. You have a Hummer? Yeah, you know that. You know that. You know it's black.
Oh, wow. You got the Black Hummer. I got 22s on it. I know you. I got a system. I like your bedazzled t-shirt you got on there. Thank you, thank you. It's affliction. No, they made, this is custom. Oh, really? Yeah, and you got the Von Dutch hat on to the side. He's a friend, dude. He's a friend, too. He's a friend, too. Oh, wow, Topper. You been tanning Topper? No, dude, this is, yeah, you know. What? I don't. I just got these frosted, too. You did? Yeah, frosted up. Yeah. Tips or frosted? I got to represent, bro. How old are you? 38. There you go. That's Topper, everybody. Hey, I got to go get a squirrel out of a tree, if you know what I mean. I don't. You know what I mean? I got to go launch the boat, okay? You know what I mean? I don't know what that means. I'll talk to y'all next week. I don't know what that means. That's Topper, everybody. We love Topper. He's an ass clown. What does that mean? It's a clown, but it's like a... Oh, you mean... What is he? A squirrel out of a tree? It doesn't make any sense. He's going to launch a boat. He's going to go launch a boat. That dude is a pain. Hey, Sienna. Yeah? This is something that you're going to be interested in. There is a study.
about big age differences. Now, here's the question they were trying to answer. Does the big age difference doom the relationship, the age difference in Sienna's relationship? How many years? Thirteen and a half. Thirteen and a half years. Of course not. Makes it better. Well, we will see. We'll come back to it. A lot of noise here from the people in the studio. I think that people are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Hot rods, customs, classics, trick trucks, and muscle cars at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. April 9th, 10th, and 11th. The Good Guys Del Mar Nationals presented by a Maguire. The entire fairgrounds will be filled with over 2,000...
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One, three, four, four. Welcome to the REI member rewards event. Can I help you? Well, I'm looking for a spacious, lightweight REI half dome tent with DAC feather light poles. Yeah, but I'm also looking for a windproof stretchable ultra light nylon hiking jacket. Yes. And a pair of REI Sahara pants. You're good. We know what you need because we know what you love. Come to the REI member rewards event. Members get 20% off one full price item. Exclusions apply. Not a member. It's the perfect time to join REI. Find out. Hurry into the REI member rewards event going on now. REI. Find out. Hey, Cesar Gonzalez, tell me about the Mojados de Carne. Their roll tacos are of Guerrero style. They're serving the spicy beef broth. If you have one too many brewskis, they're the cure for the hangover, bro. Mamatesta Taqueria, University Avenue, and Richmond in Hillcrest. See you later. Te lo laves, wey. Ay, ay, ay, why have I done? Now, back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Who's that, Pepper? Angus and Julia Stone. We should tell the story of your Donald Duck on the air. Should we? Yeah. It's kind of funny. Once he moved to Montana, he'll be back in an hour. There he is. That break happened real fast. Yeah, it happened real fast. Are we working? Yeah. So I was going to tell the story about her Donald Duck. Oh, amazing. On the air. We're in a meeting. We're doing a show meeting on Monday, this last Monday.
Pepper's in there. She's all quiet. And she's got a small voice. I mean, even here on the air, we've, you know, this is her first deal into radio. And we've told her, you really got to pump your voice up so that we can hear you because she's got a very quiet voice. Just a tiny little voice, baby voice. And so we're in the meeting and she says very demurely, I do a Donald Duck. And I'm like, in my head, I'm like, am I going to blow this idea off? I'm going to blow this idea off. Who doesn't? Since Donald Duck is in the news all the time. Well, that, and it's like everybody goes, you know, whatever. So I'm like, okay, great.
And so we talk about a couple other things, and then I'm like, so, yeah, what do you do with a Donald Duck? And I'm thinking, like, what do we do? Like, let's just give it its, let's give her her due. Yeah, let's do it. And then, yeah, we'll use that. Yeah, we'll definitely, definitely, sometime we'll definitely do something. And so, so you do this. Anything. What did you say? What did I say? We said this. Oh, I know what you did. Yeah, you go, you go, read that sign behind you. Read that out there. Yeah, read the thing about the time cards. Really? Why not? Underneath the time cards. Okay. She does that. Flabbergasted. Does anyone know what I just said? No, it doesn't matter, though. It doesn't matter. All of us, our jaws drop open. We're like, ooh. And Woodsy goes,
It was like finding, like mining gold. Right, right. And then like, ah, look at this. It was so great. And then we were just like, well, what are we going to do? We got to do something. I wanted to prank people with it, but. Yeah. It's too hard to understand. That's why you have to hear something familiar to recognize what you're saying. What? Yeah, what? What? Our phone number here is 570-1949 if you want to call us. And so, Sienna, what does this study say about people that get in relationships, but they have a big age difference? You and your husband just got married. You got a big age gap. Yeah. Thirteen and a half years. Yeah. What did they say? This article was from Marie Claire, and it was written by a man and a woman. They're dating editors. And it's funny because both of them had different opinions about it. Really? The woman says that age is just a number. The man says age is not just a number. It makes a huge difference. And you need to be dating someone your own age, which is why over the last hundred years, the average age difference between a married couple is only three and a half years.
Yeah, that is not a coincidence. They have the same interests, you know. Now, I have a question for you. What? In total honesty, does your husband mention stuff that you're like, what is that? What is that? What is that? Really? I mean, in the beginning, he did. Yeah. Because. We were kind of like testing it out. But the only time that I ever, the ages ever comes up is with a song. Right. You know, as you know, I don't know that many songs. Like a pop culture reference or something. Yeah, he'll make fun of me. But now, no, it never comes up anymore. Like really, not at all. Yeah. I think he's about on the same level as I am for the most part. We're both children. Yeah. So what do they say, the study? Well, he says that the first thing is that age is not a number. This is from the man. He says it is a fairly accurate measurement that describes where you have been and what is left in front of you. It tells you what you may have in common with someone. And then the second reason is that to know what you are attracted to, to understand what you want in a partner and in a relationship and confirm these signs are in an agreement. Is this making sense? Yeah. Are in agreement before you choose to spend time with someone. So basically he's just saying like, look.
If you are with someone who, say you're divorced and you have been married and you have a child and you meet someone like me and they've never been married, they don't have any children, they're going to college, you graduated 14 years ago, you're just at totally different places. How are you going to find a common attraction and stuff? What do you talk about, really? What do you talk about? I think that I'm kind of a rare... Breed. Old soul. Now, see, when I say, what do you talk about? Because I mean it genuinely because, like, it's not like my wife and I talk about the Survivor concert. The Survivor concerts that I used to go to, you know? Like, we don't. I don't go, hey, babe. Oh, man, I forgot. We can't talk about this because you don't remember Survivor. I remember because when I met him, I was working on Channel 933, which in case you don't know, is like a hip hop top 40 station. Right. And he was friends with the host of the show that I was on. So when he came to pick me up on our first date, he had Jack FM on, which is like, you know, older music. Right. And I just remember getting in his car and being like, what are you listening to?
He's like, what? This is Seeger, dude. This is cool, man. He's like, you've never heard this? You don't know Seeger? But because of that, like, we were just able to laugh, you know? That's the key. He's just, you know, what about this? Try this, you know, what do you think of this? I have a theory. I have a theory. I think you have two theories. I've got a theory. What is it? My theory is Todd was married before. Uh-huh. I think the bit is your second marriage. You always go way younger for some reason. Really? That's the bit, man. I'm telling you, from everybody that I know that's been married and divorced, 100% across the board, all younger. Really? All younger, number two. I know that I definitely let him get away with a lot more probably. Yeah. Because I think it's funny. It's like, hi, I cough when he has to fart so that no one hears it. Like, are you kidding me? Right. That's true. But I also think that I would do that later, too. Or I would do that for someone who is my age, obviously. I don't think so. I don't think so. She's not going to grow out of that. I don't think I will. No, I mean, if you married a guy that was 24, I think it would be a totally different relationship. Totally different. I don't think I could. I've always liked older guys.
Always. Yeah. Here's the thing. I have, too. It's great. Yeah. Is that right? Thank you. Wolfgang. Wow, Wolfgang. Wow. I love Wolfgang. I don't talk to my wife and go, hey, babe, there's a Joan Jett. Oh, no. You don't want a Joan Jett. What's your age difference? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Rebecca and I? Yeah. Five? I'm 39. She's 33. See, Jamie's 38, and I'm 34. Wow. See, Todd was married to someone older the first time. I'm dead for that, by the way. Yeah, you're done. Sorry, babe. I haven't slept in three days. But I think, like, the thing that comes up the most is if a song comes on and he's like, man, I remember this from the bars. I'm like, man, I remember this. What's a bar? I remember this from fourth grade, you know? Oh, wow. And he just, I mean, we just laugh about it. When Todd was 18, you were... I know. Creeper. We've made jokes. He's driving around in a Trans Am. Yeah. Someone with a long blonde mullet probably and just. Pull up. Yeah. You were having blowouts. Driving around Pennsylvania blasting Billy Squire. Yeah. He always makes jokes like, well, drive by my elementary school or something. He's like, I remember cruising by. Gross. Gross.
She was playing t-ball and he was playing in the minors. Yeah, literally. I thought you were cute back then. Did you hear that, Sienna? He was in the minors when you were playing t-ball. Oh, I know. You didn't have your permanent teeth yet. No, I know. And he had a permanent. Yeah, he had a permanent. Permanent mullet. Wow. He's closer to my mom's age than my age. Okay. Weird. My mom is, yeah, my mom's 47 and he's 38. Oh, that's funny. You know what, guys? We're in love. Way to go, T. We make each other laugh. Talk to God. Scores again. No, but I don't. I mean. It doesn't affect me. It never has. And it doesn't affect him at all. You're an old soul, dude. So, you know what I mean? I don't notice an age difference. I don't either. No way. Nope. You guys saw before we got married, we came in, took a test. It was, what, 11 or 12? Yeah. Yeah, it was money. And, I mean, like you know, I love kids and stuff like that. And he had a daughter. So, I think that made it even better. Good fit. I mean, I don't think age really does play a part in it unless the people just don't jive. Right.
The people jive, you're good to go. It's about your state of mind. Yeah. No, it was, I mean, it was definitely, we had a point where it was hard because I was like, I want to get married, I want to have kids, and he's like, I don't know if I want to get married again, you know, so there was some conflict, but he realized he had to have me. Yeah, it's a fake bit. He gave you the fake bit. He needed to do what he had to do to keep me. That's right. That's right. Peter, Bjorn, and John. Did you say Peter Bjorn? Yeah. Oh. I did. Peter Bjorn, that's great. He's from Austria. Do you love that? Two different people. Peter and Bjorn, I know both of them. Of course you do. So great. Have you ever... Have you ever stolen something and gotten caught? Have you, Woodsy? Yeah, I was a little bit. What'd you steal? Some gifts from a gift shop. Oh, wow. At Colonial Williamsburg. Weird. So you are used to... 5701-949. Would you go home with someone like me? Listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Hey, Jack, sorry to bug you. Where do you usually get your car serviced? Same place I told you yesterday.
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And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I make up lyrics if I don't know them. Woods. I remember my first French kiss. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. Zienna. Put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. All seven and we'll watch them fall. They stand in the way of love and we will smoke them all with an intellect. And the sad warfare. No one in the whole universe will ever compare. Pepper picking the music today. That is Prince. Welcome back. So, Woodsy, I gotta hear the story. About what you, first of all, what you stole and how you got caught. We went on this field trip when I lived in Connecticut. I think it was Colonial Williamsburg. It was one of those really boring places that, you know, the only thing. For the Civil War it took place? Yeah, something, the only thing you look forward to is that bus ride out so you can French your girlfriend. Weird, weird. I think I was in seventh grade. Went to the gift shop and they had these. What in the world? I'll never forget it. They had these, they looked like real rocks.
But they were foam. And you could squeeze them and palm them in your hand. Yeah. And then you could throw it at your buddy and it looked like a real rock. Well, your boy here thinks it's going to be a real cool move to go ahead and palm it in my hand, stick it in my pocket. Oh, wow. So we all did it. Well, the government teacher called us in on Monday and goes, just so you guys know, we have tape of you stealing from the gift shop. I mean, here's me. I've never stolen since. It scares me to death. Did they actually have tape or did one of the teachers just saw you? Somebody ratted. One of the guys said, I think people are shoplifting and they're like, well, we'll take care of it. Yeah. And probably cut them a check or something. But I was petrified. Scared you have to death. Had to tell my parents the whole bit. You know what? You may have stole, but they lied. They did lie. Yeah. That's the thing that, yeah, it's a great point. M1 hot for teacher. Hey, Mikey. What up? Okay, so this is. kind of embarrassing uh when i was 12 old me and my buddy hold condoms oh how old yeah don't they have them behind the counter well not this one didn't they had it like right next to the candy uh go figure um and uh yeah what we do is like we steal two and then put one in our pocket and then put the other one back to make it look like you know oh we're not gonna buy it and one day we got caught and he's like what the hell do you need these for and i was like i don't
I don't know. Balloons. Yeah. Water balloons. Blowing up balloons. And who's that? Store manager? Oh, yeah. Put them next to the Snickers. Stick them next to the Kit Kats. Well, I think they used to be. M1 Hot for Teacher is the reason that now they're behind the counter. A little sex and candy. I'm that bad. Which we heard today. Wow. What a great reference. Thank you, pal. Thank you, M1 Hot for Teacher. Thank you, guys. Appreciate it. 570-1949. Basically, all we needed was one person because now the phone lines are lighting up. The people needed to hear one person call in and say that they did it. Go ahead. Do you have one? I stole a chain wallet from Miller's Outpost. Did you? I stole it for you. Yeah, for me. At Miller's Outpost? It's not Miller's Outpost anymore, by the way. I don't know what that is. Anchor Blue. Anchor Blue. My brother worked there. Oh, I do remember that. Used to be called Miller's Outpost. I guess they thought that the Old West 1949 gold miner routine wasn't really hitting it with the young people anymore. Kind of a tired bit. Right. Just wasn't doing it anymore. Well, howdy, folks. Step on in to the saloon. M1 Profit. Hey. What did you steal? When I was 19 years old, I was pretty knee deep into doing cocaine. Whoa. When you were 19? Yeah. I don't do that stuff anymore, but I needed money one night.
I saw this, like, really scraggly prostitute, and I coaxed her into taking me to a room when she went in the bathroom. I stole her purse. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Good Lord. I just got a skeebie-jeebies. I got the skeebie-jeebies. It's just Bark Malman. Wow. Weird. That's the gnarliest thing ever. That is gnarly. That's pretty creepy, right? That is creepy. Wow. Wow. I was like, hey, I stole a cassette tape. He's like, I lured a prostitute to my room that I made off of their purse. I mean, the craziest guy in the world is over here. He's like, I stole the rock from the store at a Civil War shop. This guy calls in. He's like, yeah, when I was knee-deep in cocaine, I stole some coke and some money from a prostitute. That scared me to death. I've done a lot of crazy stuff in my day. No stealing. Not that. No stealing. I'm glad he's doing better now. Yeah. Me too. Me too. Grammy the Serenity. M1 Pure Rat. Yes. What did you steal? Trying to steal a candy bar. Yep. I've been there. Been there too. I did that.
You ever take it in the bathroom of the grocery store and eat it? That was my bit. What a long, just a long clung. Really quickly. Like sitting there eating a candy bar. Yeah, I got caught for that one too. Did you? Yeah. It's because your dad, all he was giving you was apples and granola bars. He had no food at my house. Yeah. You have chocolate on your teeth. Apples and granola bars. Let's see. 5701949. 949mikey at gmail.com. Hillary is out today, and so Dreevel is filling in. Dr. Dreevel. Oh, really? I had an idea for a bit. Yeah? Let's see if anybody can guess the real Garrett if he comes in. No. Please. No. We both do such good Garrett. That's funny. 570. I didn't have any wind behind those sails. That would be pretty funny. That's what I'm saying. 570-1949. We don't have time, I don't think. Yeah, because we got to get going. Do we? Yeah, we do. Do we? Beginning and end of every show, we do open phones. And so you can call in about anything you want. And that is always at the beginning and end of every show. Let's see. Did I not tell you about something? Oh, tell us about the duck that survived the 500-mile journey in the van grill. This happened in England, in West Yorkshire.
Also known as Woods' House. Well, a man named Paul Murphy was driving along, 41 years old, and he was on a dark country road where he hit two birds. Now, he pulled over, checked out the birds, saw one was dead and the other one wasn't there. So he kept driving, driving, driving. Hours go by. And finally he pulls over again and he notices something on his grill of his van. And it's a little head sticking up and it's a duck. Really? Help me. Wow. It was a little green head right behind the radiator. And he said he couldn't believe it. His first thought was, oh, my goodness, it's dead. What am I going to do? It wasn't moving. But then all of a sudden the feathers started moving. I'm alive, he said. The feathers started moving. And then he saw it was breathing, so he brought it to a rescue center where it's doing okay, and they've named it. But where's the name? Grill. Grill. Yeah, Bear Grill. Its name is Plucky. Really? That makes me sad. Good for him. Plucky's doing great. Very original name, by the way, Plucky. 500 miles on the van's grill? It's like my wife naming the little bear, Berry. This is going to make you cry. Look at the picture of the little dog. 500 miles, that's a lot. I know.
My goodness. Little angel. Little angel. I'll pass it around. You guys can all cry. M1 Joe. Hey, Mikey. I didn't know you were back on the air, dude. It's funny. My mom, she actually called me up and she's like, hey, Mikey's on the air and she caught your testimony last week and I didn't know you were still doing that. Right on, dude. So I had to call in, dude, especially with these two weekends and say thank you, dude, your testimonies when you were on that other radio station, dude. I became a believer maybe a year ago. Oh, dude. I took Christ over last summer, dude. That's awesome. I look back now, and it's like God has hand on me in every little way. And from your testimonies, even playing third day back on that station, brother, it meant a lot to me and to my mother. And I just had to say thank you for still doing that, dude, and for being the evangelist that you are, dude. Thank you, bro. It does have an impact on people. And I just want to say God bless, and you all be safe this weekend. Thank you. You too. And just pray that this weekend's a weekend of revelation. for believers and non-believers alike. Yeah, say thank you, brother. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. Appreciate that a lot. He's referring to what I do at the end of the show on Friday. And today's Good Friday. In fact, there's nobody here in our office today. Today is a day off for a lot of people, and Sunday is Easter. So today is a pretty special day for me and for a lot of people. What my testimony is really is just my story.
I just tell you a little bit about my history and where I have been and where I am now. My history is as a kid that was really, really insecure. I was a really insecure kid. In fact, I think about it now because I have three little boys. And I'm always asking myself, what can I do to make sure that my boys... maybe don't feel some of those things that I felt. I don't want, and you know that, like if you got kids and even if you don't, you always want to make it better. You always want it to be better. My deal was that when I was a kid, I always felt worthless. I was always scared too. I was scared of everything. I was afraid of the dark. I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of everything. I say this often. That anger is hurt, sadness, and fear. And the next time you're mad, just ask yourself if you're one of those things. And you'll find that you probably are. It's hurt, sadness, or fear. So consequently, as I was growing up, I was a pretty angry kid. When I was in my 20s, I found that alcohol was a way for me to sort of numb that feeling. And so I drank a lot.
But what I didn't realize was that it was kind of ruining me inside. There was a time when I moved to Arizona when I was in my early 20s. Every once in a while when I give my testimony, I'll tell you about stuff that I've never told you before. When I was in my early 20s, I moved to Arizona. I was living with my brother. And I was so desperately lonely that I remember crying that. Just those agonizing kind of cries that nobody knew about. When I used to drink, I felt like that stuff went away. But I drank to a point where I was addicted to it. I would drink to the point where I'd get sick and then I'd go back and I would drink straight vodka. And I'd get sick and I'd drink it again. And I'd take sleeping pills to go to sleep. And I was doing that over a period of time. And one night I was laying in bed and I was looking at the ceiling. And my life was miserable.
I hated everybody and I hated everything. But when I met you, you wouldn't know that necessarily. You thought I was normal. But inside, I didn't like you. And if I had the opportunity to, I would hurt you passive aggressively. And so I hated myself. And there was a night where I remember laying in bed and I asked Jesus Christ to come into my life because I needed him. And I knew that I could not continue to do, I couldn't continue to live my life the way that I was. And I surrendered to him. Tears running down the side of my face, looking up at the ceiling. And over a period of time, he's done work in me and he's changed me from one person to another person. Literal transformation. I used to be full of bitterness, anger, jealousy, the desire to get things for myself.
I was egotistical, completely self-absorbed, manipulative. I was a liar. I was a thief. And today, genuine love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no promise through Jesus Christ that everything's going to be all good because it isn't. There are times where it stinks, but he rides that out with me. That's what I have now. And the only reason that I share this with you is because it changed my life. That's the only reason I share it with you. If you're going through any kind of addiction like I went through or going through depression or if you're suffering with an eating disorder or maybe you find yourself addicted to porn to the point where it's kind of taken over everything in your life, go to my website, MikeyShow.com. There's a button you can click on called Help. And if you go there, there's a lot of resources that you can get.
to help you with those different addictions. And I urge you to do it. At the end of the show, I play a song by a band called Third Day. And this tune is called Tunnel. And I invite you to listen to the lyrics of the song because if you're feeling hopeless or if you're feeling desperate, the words to this song may encourage you. Garrett's up next. We'll see you again on Monday. The Mikey Show's out. Later. The music. All FM 94.9. The music.