The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 04/05/11

1:06It's the Mikey Show, and we love you. We love you because you're an M1. My headphones still sound weird. You sound like you're in a plane or something. It's a little bit. It sounds like my ears are clogged up or something. Yeah. Does it sound like that to you listening in your car? Does it still sound smooth and silky? Yeah. Let us know. 570-1949. Does my microphone sound like... Like you're in an airplane and your ears are about to pop. It's tinny. It's tinny. To me, it's more stuffy. It's stuffy and tinny. Here we go. What kind of sites is L.O.B. on? Lauren's computer just started playing. Here we go. Hey, you creep. What kind of stuff are you looking at? I have to look up lyrics for TomTom, so those are always the sites that give pop-ups. And I guess it just popped up on its own. It was Oil of Olay. Does LLG ever wait till the last minute to do stuff? I'm sorry. It just popped up. I didn't look at it for another five minutes. I know, but what if you'd done it last night? You wait till the last possible. No, I like to put it in a nice Word document. And the one that I do on my Mac, it always comes up messed up. Aren't you doing it on a Word document right now? Yeah, but if I do a Word document from my Mac and send it, then it gets all, like the formatting is all messed up. Can't go from a Mac to a PC. It's whacked out.

2:35Oh, you can. You just have to change the setting on Word. You have to make it compatible. Yeah, I've said that before, but still, it always gets all messed up. You showed me how to do it. Yeah. And it didn't stick? Didn't take? 5701949. I'm Mike. I'm the host of the show. I oftentimes think that I'm too mean to LOB, to Woods. That's an example. Like there, I thought I was too mean to LOB. Yet, I was frustrated. Yet. You were scared because that thing just went off and scared everybody. It scared you to death. Yes. Anger is hurt, sadness and fear. And fear. I was scared. I was scared. I was mad at myself. Do you have a balance bracelet on, Woods? Yeah. I do. Why do you sound like you're in space, Mike? Oh, yeah. Let's ask people. It's driving me nuts. Mikey Show, does it sound different to you listening on the radio or does it sound normal? I sound smooth as silk. Smooth as silk. Okay. M1 screenwriter from Harbor Island. How's it sound? Sounds marvelous. Simply marvelous. Love it. Thank you, sir. Thank you very much. M1 Doug from San Marcos. How does the microphone sound? Oh, you sound fine. You sound great, you know? All right. I really like it a lot. Thank you very much. You're very pleasant, Doug. And M1 Tony, who's a girl from Coronado. Hi, Tony. Hi. How's it sound?

4:02Sounds perfectly crystal clear. Okay. Lauren's little commercial popped up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. From her computer. That was like five minutes ago I accessed that site and a pop-up just came up. So great. That was funny. Thank you very much. Thank you. We love you. We got to talk about opening day. We got to talk about how a national champion's been crowned in NCAA basketball. Yep. I really want to know if Woodsy's balance is good and if he's walking and if his equilibrium is just spot on because he's wearing a balance bracelet. I've heard it's a bit. Then I've heard it's not a bit. I've seen professional athletes wear them. As you know, Woods is a semi-professional athlete. Correct. What's that about? I have a new. endorsement that I'm doing. Okay. For NutriShop. Okay. And what NutriShop is, it's a vitamin store and supplement store. Yeah. So I was in there yesterday and the girl that was like getting me all my powders and all my stuff. Right. She's like, you really need one of these. I was like, was she cute? Yep. Okay. But it's, she's a client. Got it. And I'm a married man. You're a married man.

5:13It doesn't matter. Even married men fall victim to the cute salesperson. She was giving me all this stuff. They're starting me on a program. I'm now getting paid to shed some of this fat, which is great. And I've started this morning, and I'm feeling good. It's a good thing because it forces you. You can't do anything but. I want to eat a Whopper, but I don't want to go back in there. I have a two-week meeting with them, and I go back in two weeks to visit with them, and I've got to have some of these chins off. Do they weigh you? No, but I go back to the gym today. You should see the trough of stuff I took to my house and my list. Just give this a quick gander. What is this now? That is my regimen every day. You're going to eat all of it? That's my regimen. That's what I have to do. I have to eat six meals a day. That's good, though. You know why?

6:07Metabolism. Yeah, man. It gets your metabolism going. And you poop more, you get the whole thing. Six small meals. Six small meals. So this is pretty cool. Dig this. You'll like this. Your protein that you have, like your chicken, is the size, you should have the size of your flat hand. Okay? Then your carbs, the size of your fist. Man, dude, you're going to lose weight. The stuff I'm on already, I took some fat burners this morning and then some vitamins and stuff like that. Dude, I feel energetic. A little, I'm a little, because I got to get used to it, you know? But I feel good. Yeah, you didn't even have any coffee. Have you ever taken vitamins? Yeah. You have? Like one a day. A one a day. Yeah. Man, dude, this is going to be so good for you. This is really going to work, too. Dude, and let me tell you, one thing that has always kind of freaked me out about working out is the protein shakes. So I mixed this thing up this morning with a scoop of Pro 5, a scoop of Gluta something, and then a scoop of Nature's Fuel, which smells like death. It's vitamins. And I go, I can't drink this thing.

7:07I'm going to die. I get in the car. I start driving. Take one sip. I go, mmm. It tastes like orange juice, dude. By the time I got here, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah, it was delicious. That's rad. So we'll see how it goes. Maybe they let me try it. Yeah. I'm stoked, though. Woodsy is, man, I'll tell you what. Woodsy is tall. How tall are you? 6'1". 6'1". About 230. That's how much I weigh. I'm 5'6". Yeah, Woodsy is tall when this guy loses weight. Watch out. Watch out. You guys. He's a handsome devil, man. He already is a handsome devil. What if Lauren and I started talking? Man, Lauren is so hot. We'd love it. We wouldn't have a beef with that. Girls can't talk like that. You can't? How come girls can't tell you?

7:59I don't actually hear a lot of guys talk like that either. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Men that are comfortable in their sexuality. You guys are in love and everything. You are one. I have no hang-ups, you know? Me neither. I'll tell you where my hang-ups lie. My hang-ups lie in my own insecurities. But if I don't have an insecurity, I don't have an issue. I have insecurity about my fat pants, okay? And so, therefore... You know, I'll have a hard time with it. But if I don't have an insecurity about it, I'm fine. You know, I don't have an insecurity. The truth of the matter is my friend Woods, good looking guy. Now, does this mean that I want to give him. Butterfly kisses? No, I don't. I get what you're saying. I'll be like, gosh, you're so lucky. You have such pretty hair or something like that. But I just don't tend to go on and on and on. It's a radio. I have to. And hold hands while you do it? Yeah. That's the weird part. That does make it a little weird is that we're holding hands and there's a candle between us. I wish I knew how to quit you. To my right is Lauren O'Brien.

9:09She's a cute girl, too. I mean, is that okay to say? Yeah. I'd say Foxy. What if I was weird about it? What if I was like, she is so beautiful. I say Foxy. Ella B's Foxy. I'm not Foxy, but thank you, Red. You're a Foxy chick. Thank you. She's good looking. She is. Yeah. Both these broads are. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We're lucky. Sienna. This is getting weird. Take that one. Sienna's hot. Sienna's hot girl. Oh, wait. So I get cute and Sienna gets hot. I see how it is. I see how it is. That's why you're disappointed. Just stay away from them, right? Just don't even go there. Don't even say. Maybe just do their names from now on. That's Ella B. That's Sienna. Sienna probably didn't like hot. She's like, oh, so she's beautiful. I'm hot. So I'm the one you want to knock boots with, but she's like can be in a magazine. No, you said cute. Good thing about... No, I corrected it and I said, you're beautiful. But you were doing it in a jokey voice. Good thing about both these broads.

10:06Both of these bros you want to take home to mom and dad. That is a true story. That's a good thing. You take them both home and you're like, hey, listen. You take them both home? Alright. I'm pretty good with the moms. The moms like me. Me too. Jay, moms don't like him. They didn't like him. Had to be convinced of him. It only took 10 years. But after 10 years, they loved him. Congratulations. Still. After 10 years, they tolerate him. That's right. Exactly. But they do like you now. They do like you now. Do they? They love him. Do they or don't they? I thought they did. Oh, wow. That's a no. That's a no. That's a straight up no. They do not. Good question. Yeah. And then, can you imagine a parent that didn't love Chris? Oh, gosh. They would be monsters. Can you imagine a parent that said to their daughter that was like, I don't know about him. I just think that he is going to use you and abuse you. He's the catch of the century. There's no question. He's the nicest guy. He's a badger. He has no natural enemies. We may have made a love connection. Yeah, I think so. Between him and who? H.M. Rojas. Are you kidding? Our M1. One of our M1s. Let me tell you something. Can you imagine good looking kids? Beautiful. Dark skin. Beautiful.

11:32Because I think HM Rojas is beautiful. She is. And so freaking sweet and nice. She's a bring home to mom. Yes. And he's a bring home to mom. Absolutely. Can you guys get married? Yeah, you guys should get married. Oh, please get married. When is she coming back from Costa Rica? Come back now. Long distance relationships are so much fun. That's perfect for you, Chris. Let's move her back here. Jay is just going to beat him up. She's coming back. Her family's here. Her family would be very happy if she came back. Oh, with Chris? And with Chris, too. I mean, it'd be phenomenal. And M1's a Mikey show fanatic, man. You are into the Mikey show. If you're an M1, you listen to us. You write about us. You blog about us. You tweet about us. You Facebook about us. You get into the Yankees just because Woods is into it. Yeah. And the Padres. And the Padres. You try to make yourself have big boobs even if you're a guy because you want to be like Sienna. And Woods. And Woods and Mikey. You shave your head because you want to look like Mike. You cut pieces of hair off your head and glue them on your face. Because he has a goatee. You secretly hate me so you can be more like L.O.B. Really? What? They love you.

12:49We love you. Why do you say that? I have this fear that L.O.B. and Woods hate me. Why? Are you kidding? I'm absolutely positive that Sienna likes me. I tell you when I'm mad at you. Yeah, and with Jay, Jay doesn't really like me either, but... Jay doesn't like me either, but... I don't really like anybody. He can tolerate me. You know, he can tolerate me. So what about us? You guys just flat out don't despise you. Well, you don't despise me. You go home to BFMC, your boyfriend at Commerce, and you go, oh my gosh, with Fatty. Oh my gosh. With Fatty. And Woods goes, dear, I don't know if I could take this guy. No. I'm ready to start blasting phone calls again over at Reach Local. Really? Sienna's just a teller. She tells me. She's a teller. She goes, Mike, I can't stand you right now. I tell everyone, though, if I'm upset. I tell you. I tell you, too. I love it. Yeah, you do. I'll tell you. But sometimes I worry that you don't because you don't want to confrontation because you say you don't. I told you last week that you made me mad. I called you and said, hey, 24-hour rule, I got to tell you this bothered me. And you're like, I'm sorry. And we're always good. The thing with me is if you'll, if I say that I'm wrong, you know, I expect to be forgiven immediately. And it goes both ways, though.

14:18You know what I mean? And me too. Me too. I think what I meant by Sienna's a teller, she'll tell you even when she likes you. She's just overly communicator. Yes. And I'm not. My husband loves it. I do too. No, he doesn't. Oh, he doesn't? Oh, man, I do. He's like, maybe he holds something in once in a while. Just shut up. There's always a problem. You can read Sienna like a book. It's just on her face when she... Oh, yeah. Yep. Our new national champion in the NCAA is... The UConn Huskies. Wow. Favorite team, the Husky Huskies. Sienna said it perfectly yesterday. She said, well, at least San Diego State lost to the national champions. The best. It's always good. You can hang your hat on that. Connecticut was the best team. They beat Butler last night, 53-41. Here is the last moments. Last moments of the game. The Huskies shut them down in the second half here in Houston. And the Huskies. are the top dog in 2011. They were both dogs. There's two dogs in there. That's true. They were the top dog. Then it was good. Wonder how long you thought about that. So, UConn's head coach, Jim Calhoun. I'm all whacked out on these pills. Jim Calhoun. You might want to explain that just for people that are just waking up. I started these fat burner pills and I'm a little skeevy.

15:45He won his third title since 99, and he has joined an elite class of coaches. John Wooden, Adolph Rupp, Mike Krzyzewski, and Bob Knight is only the fifth coach to get to the top three or more times. So he is in the upper echelon of college basketball head coaches. It's pretty awesome. Pretty awesome. That's pretty awesome. We should do that Husky thing again where we dress up Woods as a Husky. Yeah, shoot him. It's a good idea. Because now we're mad that the Huskies won. We shot them with these airsoft guns that weren't so soft. Not soft at all. I had welts on my back. If you didn't have welts, I'd say you could shoot us since you won. It hurts. We're going to be telling you about the Otay Ranch Town Center shooting yesterday. That was huge news. We're going to talk about the Padres opener here in a minute. First, Southwest Airlines, we talked about this yesterday, Southwest Airlines had the roof of one of their airplanes just open up, you know. Yeah, this was nuts. They had to make an emergency landing in Arizona over the weekend. It's a Boeing 737 jet, and they discovered a five-foot-long hole which had opened in the roof. And when they discovered this hole in the plane, they were over 30,000 feet in the air. How do your ears not...

17:01do something really bad. You ever heard the old rumor they said if you're on a plane and you're flying and somebody, let's say, shot a bullet hole through a window that it would suck people through? You ever hear that old rumor that stuff would suck through it? Yeah, because it would explode the glass. And you would just ride out. Why not through the roof? Must be wrong. Mythbusters needs to do something on that. Well, because of this... huge problem they discovered. They searched 600 other planes. Well, no, over the weekend they had to cancel about 600 flights were canceled and the airline took its fleet. They're looking and doing inspections and all these other planes to make sure that there's not cracks in other ones. And there were actually, they found two other planes with the same type of crack in the roof, which makes people question, you know, what's going on? Why are they there all of a sudden? And why in Southwest flights? So three overall. This has been affecting Limburg Field.

17:57It's their fleet. They got it figured out. Yeah. Emergency inspections were going on the last few days. And by last night, 64 planes were cleared. But, you know, they still have a lot more planes to go through. Makes you think, doesn't it? It's a little song about Southwest planes and holes in the roof. You think it's scary? Just because there's a hole in the roof of the airplane at 30,000 feet? Yes, obviously. Have you seen the pictures of it? I mean, you can see the sky. It's a huge five feet. And because of it, I mean, as they were continuing to move in the air, the crack was getting bigger and bigger. It was pulling the roof off. Attention, ladies and gentlemen.

19:46You may have noticed that there is a hole in the roof of the aircraft right now. This is your captain speaking. We just wanted to let you know that we're giving out complimentary orange juice for everybody on board because of the hole in the aircraft. I just want everybody to sit tight and we're expected to land in Tulsa. About four minutes late today because of the hole in the roof of the aircraft. For those of you that are wondering about in-flight movies, we're going to be showing Shrek 3. And that's for all flights that are going eastbound today. Also want to let you know that despite the hole in the roof, if you look out the right side of the aircraft right now, you've got a pretty good view of the Grand Canyon. It's a clear day.

20:49Sit back and enjoy the rest of your flight, and thank you for flying southwest. If you have any questions about the gaping hole in the roof, feel free to ask one of the flight attendants, and make sure you keep your seatbelt on. We're not allowing anyone to go to the laboratory right now because of the gaping hole in the roof. 550 miles an hour right now, so if you were to go to the restroom, you'd probably fly. No problem. Stay where you are. Thank you. I felt like I was on a plane. I did too. That's the exact tone. Why are captains the most monotone people in the world? They have to remain calm. Yes. They have to have that sort of temperament. That must be it. I think you're right. I wonder if they get nervous. You know, they're like not performers. They're not performers. And they have to get and talk. Maybe it's nerve-wracking. LMB brings up a good point. I bet that they've been told.

21:51always keep a very like almost whisper because it really makes people comfortable. It's soothing. I have a buddy who's a pilot, a commercial airline pilot, and he's very calm. He's always like that. He's always very calm. But when he spins out. Flip out. Wow. Wow. He flips his mind. There's no getting him back on board. What would you do? That's good to know. Exactly. What would you do if you were on that Southwest flight and the captain comes on and goes, Holy crap. Even I think, you know, I would be freaked out if there wasn't a problem on the flight, but the captain still came on and was like, hey, it's Saturday morning. Just a lot of energy. You get enough bits with the flight attendant. Oh, my gosh. Flight attendant. Air waitress. Yes. They really love it. Air waitress. Do you know they want tips? What? Did you know that? No. I thought some of them, they couldn't accept it.

23:00Oh, yes, they can. And yes, they do. Really? Not only do they accept tips, they expect tips. Really? Wow. Oh, yes. I have never tips. And if you don't believe me, all I will do is invite any airline attendant to call right now. Yeah, I would love to. Because we've had this, you know, we've talked about this before. They freaking... Want you to tip them. Tips for what? When they bring you a drink? Yes. I've only tipped on an alcoholic beverage. Oh, yeah. Never tipped on a complimentary beverage. I'm not tipping on a Coke. They appreciate the tip on a Coke. They appreciate it. But when you order a drink, absolutely 100% accept a tip. I mean, expect a tip. They do expect a tip. That makes sense. That makes sense. It doesn't really make sense. It's the same amount of effort, though, as opening a Coke. Give you a plastic wine bottle that you cork yourself. That you open yourself? Yeah, but it's a beating their job. Sometimes they'll say cork you if you are trying to... Hey, cork me, cork you, pal. That's right. M1 Randy from Kearney Mesa has an answer about the hole in the plane. Oh, okay. Go ahead, Randy. Hey, guys. How you doing this morning? Good. Good. Yeah, Mythbusters a couple months back or a few months back had a bit on... They did this stuff. They did the...

24:25Yes, she does. He knows. I don't think so. Yeah. So I can't say for all of them, but I can tell you that my wife doesn't. Well, that's good. Anyway, guys, have a great day. Thank you, buddy. Thank you. We'll see you later. Bye, Randy. Padres Home Opener. Today. Today. I got the whole list of stuff for you. Woodsy's going to tell you all about it. Plus, we're going to tell you about the people that are in custody and the person that is dead from the Otay Ranch Town Center shooting. Oh, and also, Sarah. Silverman met somebody really famous and told him that she was going to be getting naked for her next movie. To which he responded, oh, you'll have to send me a copy. Oh, wow. Who was it? Jay. Tell you next. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. What makes an auto loan great? Pacific Marine Credit Union has the answer. A great auto loan goes far beyond a low interest rate.

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28:49Good morning. Welcome to McDonald's. First good thing I've heard all day. But it's only 7.30 a.m. I know, and I already whacked my head, broke my phone, and got a parking ticket. So I'm going to need to order quite a few things. That should make you feel better, sir. All right, how about an order of sausage? Oh, and an order of bacon, scrambled eggs, three hotcakes, well, hash browns for sure. Um, sir? Oh. I'm not done. But all of that is on the deluxe breakfast platter, and it's now just $3.99. Seriously? Set your mornings right with McDonald's deluxe breakfast platter. Three golden hotcakes, fluffy scrambled eggs, sizzling bacon, sausage, an English muffin, and more. All for just $3.99. The simple joy of every flavor of breakfast. Sorry you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Technically, I fell out of bed and the window. Breakfast served during breakfast hours only. Price and participation may vary. Celebrate the end of your week with McDonald's $1.29 Filet-O-Fish Fridays. The famous Filet-O-Fish sandwich with tangy tartar sauce, American cheese, and crispy fish filet is just $1.29 every Friday for a limited time at participating McDonald's. Hannah's father trained her to be an assassin. A doctor to die. Her government denied her existence. Take a look at this kid's blood sample. Can't be right. And her target is the one woman who holds the key to her past. We need to keep this contained, gentlemen. Did she turn out as you hoped? Better.

30:05Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, and Cate Blanchett. Sometimes children are bad people, too. Hannah. Come and find me. Directed by Joe Wright. Original score by the Chemical Brothers. Rated PG-13. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Hannah. Starts Friday. Left center field, slighting away, but Donorfia diving! Petco Park is the place to be every Friday night with Friday Party at the Park. Watch your Padres take on the Dodgers Friday, April 8th at 7.05. Be sure to stay after the game for Friday Night Fireworks presented by Northgate-Gonzalez Market. Adams from his backside. What a play! Don't miss Friday Night Fireworks, Padres vs. Dodgers, Friday, April 8th. Get your tickets today by calling 619-795-5555 or go online to Padres.com. Are you looking for tickets? Well, for second year in a row, FM 94.9 and Honest T are teaming up to giveaway tickets to Coachella. Coachella! Stay tuned for details about upcoming random acts of kindness and your chance to win tickets to Coachella on FM 94.9 and Honesty. All three grades of Shell gasoline contain Shell's nitrogen-enriched cleaning system to protect critical engine parts against performance robbing gunk. This report is brought to you by McDonald's. It's back. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks.

31:2279 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. Heading on the freeways this morning, looks like the 56 westbound Carmel Valley Road. We've got a car stuck in the center divider in that area. On the 94 eastbound at the 15, pretty slow. And then again, it's backed up at Federal Boulevard. This report also brought to you by San Diego Zoo Global. Make a play date for an up-close and personal interaction with the animals and their keepers at the San Diego Zoo play days. Happens April 2nd through the 24th. For details, visit sandiegozoo.org. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't really like to swim, unlike most Latinos. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. Wood. I can put down a 20-pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Sienna. I'm like a little bit Irish. There's everything white I am. And Jay. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. That's what I told you. Sarah Silverman. She met somebody really famous and told him that she was going to be getting naked in a movie. And he said, oh, you'll have to send me a copy. Who was it? We'll tell you in a second. Don't forget. Incorporator at 730. Who are we calling? I'm calling a weight loss center. All right. Weird. And we got something new called Elevator Ambush that we're going to do at 8. We'll play that for you. Word of the day, by the way, is habanero. Habanero. Habanero.

32:59Habanero. Habanero. Now, when you hear me say the word Habanero, between now and 10, caller nine gets a pair of tickets to the Padres game versus the Giants tomorrow. Yes. How about that? Huge. And we'll also give you 40 bucks worth of Dave and Buster's power cards. But we got tickets to the Padres tomorrow. Killer. Yeah. So get ready. Okay, Sarah Silverman. She was talking to Piers Morgan and told this story about meeting President Obama. No. Yes. No. Are you supporting President Obama? Have you met him? I met him for like two minutes as he was walking from, you know, through a hallway from one place to another. Can we fast forward to the bit where you make a complete arse of his arm? It's so lame. And it was one of those things I wanted to just take back and put into my mouth. But, you know, none of the political things I planned on saying, of course, came out at all. Can we just have the exact wording? Well, he goes, oh, what's next for you? And I go, I'm going to be naked in a movie. And then I was like. What did he say?

34:25He diffused the situation generously by saying, oh, you'll have to send me that. He didn't say that. He said it not in a pervy way, but in a let's make her not feel weird by saying a weird thing. The president of the United States immediately responded by asking if you could send him a copy of the movie in which you're naked. It was levity. He was like taking a weirdo thing I said. And being gracious and making me feel a little better. And then immediately it was like, okay, let's take a picture. Bye. Because I was about to joke, if that was me, I'd immediately said, hey, send me a copy. But I never imagined he said that. I think he was being gracious. He wasn't being, you know. Were you flattered that the president wanted to see you naked? Um, well, no, because I know what it is. It was him being polite. It wasn't like, oh, can you get me that? Yeah, it was. You know why? Because he's a guy and because he said it. And if he didn't say it, he would have said something different. If I'm a guy, OK, if you don't like if Rosie O'Donnell had said that to him, he would have gone. This is how he would have responded. He would have gone. Oh, well, good for you. You don't know that. Yeah.

35:35Don't. Come on. You don't. Piers Morgan is a guy, too, and he said that he... That's why he knew. But he said he would have made that joke, but he didn't expect it to come from Obama. Piers Morgan said, how do you feel about the fact that he wants to see you naked? Because Piers is a guy. He knows. He knows. If it had been Rosie O'Donnell, he'd have gone, oh, well, have fun with that. You don't know that. Here's the question. Would Obama have said that to Sarah Silverman if Michelle was standing right there? No. No. That's how you know he should have said it. No. None of you guys know any of this. In the back of his mind, he's thinking, well, I'm going to get a copy. She'll probably go, hey, I stayed true to my word and sent you this. What he did is he looked at Sarah Silverman. He took a mental picture. Right then he went, yep, I'm going to see her naked as soon as I get that DVD. Listen, the reason, she was on the cover of Maxim magazine. Sarah Silverman is not ugly. Sarah Silverman is pretty cute. I never said she was ugly. I think she's foxy. She's foxy. She's got a sense of humor, too. It makes her even better. I think Obama thinks that, too. Tina doesn't like her. So farty. Oh, my gosh. No. She just let out the loudest burp you've ever heard. Good. Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah. Ew. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C. Yeah, it's not like everything he gets is not screened. What, they're not going to give him something from Sarah Silverman? They might. Well, they were going to know, oh, if she wrote, this is.

37:05The naked movie I told you about. Well, she's not going to write that. But she will say, dear Mr. President. I'm a girl. I know what she would write. What would she put? She would say, here's the naked movie I told you about. I can't see Obama even watching something like that being president. There's too many people around. There's too much risk. There's a lot of risk. You can't watch anything inappropriate. I think he made a joke. He made a joke. He has more privacy than any of us could ever dream about. Absolutely. He's got a place, I bet, that's in that... Oval Office? Not Oval Office. In the White House. I bet he's got a place that's sealed off where only he can be and be in private and not be bothered. Place to treat himself. Which means he has access to a lot more than a random screenshot of Sarah Silverman naked in a movie that's going to come out in six months. I bet he's got a sheen room. Sheen room? He's got a sheen room. Where he just can sheen movies. He just sits in there blasting cigs real good. I believe he does have a room. I think you're right. Of course. But you can't be doing inappropriate things with your president. Can't you?

38:14Yeah, Bill Clinton. Yeah, he definitely does inappropriate things. I just think he was making a joke. Yeah, you should keep thinking that. That's what we all do when we're president. We just make jokes. We don't mean it. We don't mean it. Listen, at one time I met Monica and I was like, hey, Foxy. You know, I was just kidding. And she was like, don't say that. And I was like, you bad girl. And she was like, you bad boy. I'm going off of what the one person that. One of the two people that was there said, and you're going off of what you think you know. I'm just about guys. I'm a guy. I'm a girl. I know. Right. And as a girl, you should think what Sarah thought, that I was being nice. He wants to see it. I won't see it. Of course he wants to see it. I'm so tired of because I'm a guy, I know what every guy thinks. It's a true story. No, it's not a true story. Do you believe that some guys... Do you believe that some guys don't want to see her naked? Some guys don't? Yes. Definitely some guys don't really care. Some guys are named Clay Aiken. Elton John. Elton John. Yep. Yeah. They don't care. Rock Hudson. Yeah. Murph Griffin. Adam Lambert. Adam Lambert. Aren't there girls, though, that you guys have seen, like maybe pink?

39:34Yeah. Do you want to see... I would still see her name. Yeah, 100%. Still want to see her name. Yes. I'm telling you that the way that men are... Now, I wouldn't because you know me. You know the way I roll. But you're a guy. Rosie O'Donnell? But I'm a guy. I want to. Rosie O'Donnell? Yeah, you still want to. Would you want to see Rosie O'Donnell? No. And that's why I said, if Rosie O'Donnell said, I'm going to be naked in my next movie, he'd have probably gone, well, good for you. What about Kathy Griffin? Yeah, I'd still see it. Probably would. I'd still see it. I'd go, ooh, yeah, I'd do it. I'd probably would. Well, there's a lot of guys that I'd just be curious, you know? Oh, for sure. There's a lot of bi-curious guys, sure. But I don't think that that is neither here nor there. I'd be curious to see if it was available to me. Like Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Michael Vick. Yeah, those are all examples. It is different, though, L.O.B., because, as I've said before, when you drive down the road, and you see a guy jogging towards you from a mile away, you don't go, I'm not going to look. I'm not going to look. Yeah, but just because that's what you do, you can't speak for every guy. True. Yes, I can. You can. I agree with you, dude. No, you can't. Yeah, but you guys are very similar. It's like saying this. It's like saying this, L-O-B. Okay.

40:53You're never going to convince me of it. I can only speak for straight men. You're wasting your breath. What's frustrating to Lauren and I is we'll say something about our boyfriend or husband off the air. And Mike and Woods and Jay will all be like, oh, he did it because of this. And we're like, no, he did it because of this. We know our significant other better than you do. And they're like, no. And the other thing, Sienna, is they like to tell us. Girl things that they think they know better than we do. But then they play the guy card of, I know because I'm a guy. There's stuff I don't know. There's stuff I don't know about girls. Everything. There's stuff you don't know about every guy either. True. Straight men. Straight men. No. It's a chemical thing. It's a generalization. It's a chemical thing. It's a generalization. We're wired that way, LLB. It's a generalization. You're breaking the bro code, bro. Let me ask you something. Do you think that there's a percentage of men, straight men, I'm talking about straight men, not gay men. Is there a percentage of straight men that are not wired visually? One percent. Blind guys. Blind men. Yeah. I would give you that. Yeah. I would give you that. Yeah. I mean, that I agree with. Yeah, I agree with. We're wired visually. Yeah. Okay. And so when Prez Obama says. Obama. Prez Obama. When Prez Obama says. He'll be. Huh. You'll have to send me a copy.

42:15When you say it like that. It's back there. It's back there. It's back there. It's in the back of his mind. It's in the back of his mind. He was definitely. He was trying to be like a smooth criminal. Yeah. He was trying to be. No, you're right. Like she said, it was levity. He's a president. He's using levity with a cigar. Whoa. There was some levity being used with a cigar in the old. You know where he did that, by the way? Old office. Do you know where President Clinton did that? President Clinton is not President Obama. It was actually the bathroom. Not the bathroom of the Lincoln Room. Not the bathroom of the Rose Guard. Of the Oval Office. Insanity. Palsy. Security guards everywhere. Cameras. I don't know. Not in the bathroom. There's a camera going into the door of the Oval Office. Guarantee. But I bet in the Oval Office itself, I don't think there's security cameras. You can see that she went in.

43:20But she was an intern. She didn't come out for a long time. She was an intern, and I think she was, you know. There was also times she was in there to do work, so they just thought. She was doing work. She was definitely doing work. She was doing work. That's filthy. Even in my most perverted of days, upstairs, didn't think that. But you're a guy. Don't you think the same way that Bill Clinton thinks? Yes, I do. I do. But he had a different, he has, hey, listen, some people have different imaginations. I don't have a certain imagination. Right. You know, I mean, some people have different imaginations of what they can do. However, if we're straight, we want to procreate. That's a famous Jesse Jackson phrase, right? Yeah, pretty sure. If you're straight, you want to procreate. Whereas women are not wired as visually as men. We can control ourselves. It doesn't do the same for women as it does for men. It's not that they don't think that the male form is attractive. But that's not the argument you're making. You're making the argument that you knew what Obama's intention was when he said that. Get some. I'm furious. I know. Don't be furious. Don't fight it. Don't you fight it. I want to say what Darth Vader said to Luke Skywalker.

44:44That famous time. You know it to be true. Don't fight your feelings, L.O.B. You know it to be true. It's useless to resist when you know it to be true. All men are wired visually. Yeah, that's true. All presidents are men. So far. which means that all presidents are wired visually. You know this to be true. I do know that to be true. I think Michelle got mad at him or it gave Barack, you know, when she heard that story. I think she thinks, I know you better than that radio personality in San Diego that's never met you. I bet she got mad. You didn't mean it. She didn't get mad. I bet she was sarcastic. She was like, oh, really? Sarah Silverman. She was sarcastic. Sarah Silverman.

45:50is still on the cover of Maximal. Not sure why, but... You know why? She's beautiful. Because guys think she's cute. She's funny. She's funny. That's where we differ. Yeah, definitely. Here's a way that we differ. L.O.B. cried like a baby last night because some friends changed dinner plans. Wow. Now, it's a generalization, but a lot of men would not. True. Why? Then she watched an episode of The Office and cried over that. Generalization, a lot of men wouldn't do that. I've done it. I've done it. I've done it. Michael proposed. That was a great one. LLB. To who? Who did he propose to? Holly. Holly. And did they make it sweet? Did it get you? I teared up too. You did? Yes. Was it sweet? Yeah, it was really sweet. Tell me about it because I don't watch The Office and I don't have clips. If you've watched The Office for the last 10 years or whatever. You realize that all that guy wants is love. I know. He yearns for it, dude, and he tries so hard. Too hard. Then he met this girl that is the female Michael Scott. They do all the same bits together, and you see him, and you're like, oh, God, they have to end up together. He proposed to her as Yoda. Yes. And she answered as Yoda. Dude, he walks her into the back common area or whatever. The break room. Candles. They work together? Yeah. I have my hands up. She's in HR. She's in HR. Candles.

47:15Everywhere. He did like a really bad Yoda impression and was like, marry you, you will. But like did it all wrong and then she answered back just as wrong. In Yoda. In Yoda. Dude, I saw it. I was like, and they set the sprinklers off. So it's just because he wanted it to be wanted it to be remembered and remembered. He's like, I wanted to be something people go, oh, you know, this is how it happened. And then the sprinklers went off and they're down on their knees. Because he had candles all over the office. And it was this really, really, like, touching moment. And you could tell the, like, you know, producers of the office were probably like, okay, it's getting too mushy. You know, you can't have it too mushy if it's Michael. How could it be mushy, though, if he's doing Yoda and she's doing Yoda? Isn't that funny? He started to be like, Holly. I love you. All this stuff. And then it went into the Yoda thing. And it just was touching because they always are. He's so weird and misunderstood. And she's so weird back with him. And they had this great moment. And then the sprinklers went off. And it was like they were kissing in the rain. And then he announces that he's leaving. They're leaving the show. That he's gone. Was that his last episode? Yep. I don't know if it's his last episode.

48:24Did he come out of character kind of thing? No, no, no. He said, we're moving to Colorado. To be close to her family. Her dad and mom are getting old, and so she wants to be there at the end. So he's like, I'm going with you. And he's like, screw it, man. I love this girl. I'm going anywhere she goes. He lost her once. Haven't seen that show for probably four years, and that was fascinating to me. You could watch that episode, having not watched in a while, and enjoy it. Take you right back. I bet. So anyway, that was L.O.B. I was in a crying mood. I don't like, people don't understand that we have to go to bed so early and wake up so early. And six o'clock was already too late for me. Yeah. And then it got changed, so I cried. L.O.B. also said something that I can relate to. She said that this morning she forgot to get gas, and for some reason it boils her blood to have to get gas on the way to work. And I'm the same way. But if it's the day before and I think about it, I still won't do it. I'll go, I could do it in the morning. Even though I intellectually know it's going to infuriate me. No way.

49:34The worst for me is because I think everyone's the same way. No one likes getting gas, but none of the gas stations are open when I'm driving to work. So there's been times at night where I'm like, oh, no, I don't have gas. I won't make it to work in the morning. I have to leave my house just to go get gas. Oh, it's the worst. I was supposed to. I was driving home from work yesterday and I saw that I was on low and I was like, shoot, because I just passed the cheap gas station. And I was like, well, I'm going out to dinner tonight. So I'll just go get the gas when I go to dinner. Well, I didn't go out to dinner because the time got changed. And so this morning when my gas tank was empty, it just brought back memories of... Sitting by myself, watching The Office. They changed it from six to seven, right? Yes. The dinner plans. And six was already pushing it. If seven and six in our world is... It's five hours. I know, and I can understand why they were all probably like, what's the big deal? It's just an hour later, but I was like, no. Six already. I don't like to eat past six. Yeah. Sienna said something interesting in her recap that I will...

50:40I will debate with her because she feels that it was sort of wrong, and that is that she's trying to lose some LBs. Yeah, of course. And yesterday, this is what she said in her recap. You ever just tell yourself you're going to start eating healthier, and as you're walking down the aisle of the grocery store, you decide to buy some 100-calorie Twinkies? She said, I was very embarrassed at the checkout line. Maybe I'll buy some celery and carrots and stay away from anything with a word. Twinkie in the box. Now, my deal is, is the reason that I think it's a good idea to get those is because in order to live a normal life, that's why I hate diets. Because a diet is not a lifestyle that you adopt. You know, it's something that you can do for a period of time. Yeah. But eventually you got to go back to normal. Yeah. And so the hundred calorie Twinkies satiate your desire for a Twinkie, but they don't cost you. I agree with that, but I'm like, okay, I was just embarrassed, like checking out. I was embarrassed putting them in my pantry, knowing Todd's going to be like, really with the Twinkies. Easy Twinkies. I don't even.

51:53like Twinkies. I was just like, ooh, they're 100 calories, so I have to get them. And it's like, man, I should just celery, carrots, maybe get those later on in my diet. The only thing about the 100 calorie Twinkies that I will give you is that when you eat them, they're a tease. Because you eat them and you go, this just makes me want a normal one more. You let your beak. You know what? They taste just like the normal ones. Really? Yeah, they're like three little tiny Twinkie bites. They're good. You don't want more? No. You know, we overdo it. Yes. Yep. Other countries serve smaller portions of everything. We're used to eating like fatsos. Oh, my gosh. I eat so much. We really do. Yeah. Leanne Rimes sang the national anthem last night at the NCAA championship, and it sounded like this. Welcome two-time Grammy and three-time Academy of Country Music Award winner, Leanne Rimes, in the performance of our national anthem.

52:55Say can you see By the dawn's early light What so proudly hailed Had the twilight's last gleaming Whose broad stripes and bright stars Maybe she does it for everything. This is Wallace. She has perfect pitch. Oh my gosh, dude. That was good. I felt like I was in a trance. Yeah, me too. I was about to tear up, take my hat off, cross my heart. Yeah, me too. Speaking of Woodsy, Padre's home opener is set. Woodsy will give you everything you need to know about it. Parking and tell you about all that stuff when we come back and what they have planned and all of it. So we'll cover that. And we also have to update you on what happened.

55:21at the Otai Ranch Town Center shooting yesterday at the Apple Store. So we'll fill you in on everything that's going on with that. A chance! Let's do it! More from the Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. Live from Progressive. Here, with more discounts than ever before, Progressive can save you a lot of money on your car insurance. Savings! Oh, you can get bigger savings than that. That's close, but you can really save a lot of money. Better. Discounts for safe driving, owning a home, and more. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. Live from Progressive. Next caller.

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59:42Be one of the 3 million people who will learn a new language this year by taking part in our nationwide event. For your free demo CD-ROM, call 1-800-616-4996. 1-800-616-4996. Hey guys, this is LOB here to talk to you about Ovation. Hey! L-O-B. Sorry, that's my producer, Jay. Hey, did you cut that ovation spot yet? You mean the ovation spot? No, ovation. It says right here, O-V-A-T-I-O-N. Actually, I'm cutting that right now, and that's ovation. What's that, like some kind of drink? No, it's for your hair, actually. Like a drink for your hair? Um, I guess you could call it that. But not exactly. You apply it kind of like a cream rinse. You've got the color therapy shampoo. You have the cell therapy. And then you have a cream rinse that you put on after that. And it's going to help you grow your hair. Oh, grow? I could grow some more hair. But yeah, my hair has grown back thicker, stronger, longer. That.

1:00:37I'm really happy with Ovation. You have to go to OvationHair.com and put in FM949 to get that special introductory rate. Don't forget, you want to get that color therapy shampoo, the Ovation Cell Therapy, and the cream rinse application. That's OvationHair.com and put in FM949 at checkout to get that special rate. In coastal Mexico, the three most popular sounds are the surf coming in, music flowing out, and the mouth-watering sizzle of shrimp on the grill. Right now at Rubio's, the grill is fired up and the shrimp are on. And as soon as they reach your taste buds, the Baja Beach scene is sure to come to mind. Rubio's Grilled Mesquite Shrimp Burrito features grilled shrimp seasoned to perfection with garlic and mesquite spices, then complemented by creamy chipotle sauce. It's the shrimp burrito with a huge flavor. Catch it now, only at Rubio's. From Universal Pictures and the director of Pineapple Express. Come, brother. This is the first stop on your first quest. Delicious. This Friday. There's a naked woman standing behind you. And she might be a trap. It was a trap. Get your quest on. You've got to suck out the venom. I can't suck my own venom. Yes, you can. I'll help you. Suck it. Suck your venom. Suck it. Danny McBride. James Franco. Natalie Portman. Care for another bite of some meat? I don't want that touching me. Your Highness.

1:01:48Directed by David Gordon Green. Rated R. Under 17. Not admitted without parents. Starts Friday. Hurry into the REI Member Awards event. Now through April 10th, members get 20% off one full price item. Exclusion Supply. REI. Find out. This report, it's brought to you by Allstate. People who switch to Allstate save money. They got more protection, so get Allstate today, dollar for dollar. Nobody protects you like Allstate. Heading on the 15 southbound fellow Cedar Road, a three-car crash. CHP is on the scene. Also, the 76 at 3rd Street. We've got a pickup truck. Their flasher lights are on in the middle of lanes. And as you travel on the 56 westbound Carmel Valley Road, there's a disabled car there in the center divider. This report also brought to you by Del Taco. It's Tuesday, Taco Night at Del Taco. Right now, get three regular tacos, just $109. That's three tacos for $109 at Del Taco every Tuesday from 3 to 11 at participating Del Taco restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The reason I've never been comfortable around kids, I'm always petrified they're going to go, you're short and fat. Lauren. I'll tell you that while I went out, lasted for about 36 hours. I'm tired.

1:03:00Woods. Don't lie to me or you lie to girls, okay? You don't lie to me. Zienna. You know how I like some farting humor. And Jake. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On FM 94.9. Zienna, what's going on in the night? Well, if you haven't heard, yesterday morning around 6.45 a.m. at the Otay Ranch Town Center in Chula Vista, it's a little mall over there, three people tried breaking in. Well, they did break into the Max store. They shattered the glass and tried stealing items. There was a security guard nearby, and there was a shootout between the three people. One of them was a getaway driver, and the other two were the ones that broke in and were trying to get all the stuff. Now, the shootout ended. Everyone got back in their car. They drove a silver Acura. And as soon as they started driving away, the security officer shot the driver in the head, immediately killed him. The car crashed.

1:03:53The other two people that were in the Mac store ran out. They got out and ran into a neighborhood where Border Patrol agents responded, found them. They have been taken into custody. And just a crazy, crazy story. But yesterday, while all of this was going on, there was about six schools that were on lockdown. I mean, it was a crazy story. So the two people have been taken into custody. And like I said, one person was killed. And remember the... Egyptian cobra from the zoo, the Bronx zoo that was on the loose for about a week. Well, now the public loved this story. I don't know why it just clicked in people. And so there was, I mean, this cobra had like 200,000 Twitter followers and all this stuff. And so now the public is going to be voting on a name for this cobra. And it's been broken down to the top five. Agnes, which is Greek for pure or holy. Emwinet, which is an Egyptian goddess. Cleopatra, Subaira, and Maya. So if you guys want to vote, you can. You just go to the zoo's website, the Bronx Zoo. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, today is the home opener for the San Diego Padres at Petco Park. They'll be taking on the world champion San Francisco Giants.

1:05:05Madison Baumgartner for the Giants against hometown boy Aaron Harang. He's coming back to San Diego. Went to Patrick Henry High where, as a semi-pro, I've played. Oh, wow. So, feast on that. And he will make his Padres debut today. Now, so, get down there early. Park at the Park opens at 1. All other gates open at 135. Ceremonies begin at 305. Dick Enberg will be your emcee. Jason Mraz will be singing the national anthem. Wow. And the ceremonial first pitch will be thrown out by Padres alumni representing different eras of the team's 75-year history. Game begins at 335. Be there or be square. Opening day. Opening day, man. Great. And I'm looking at the weather. I'm like, oh, boy. It will be okay. I think it'll burn off. Yeah. I think so, too. It's supposed to rain later this week. It was hotter than a habanero last week. And this week, cooled down. Rain. It was pretty toasty yesterday. My new house does not have air conditioning. Brilliant. Did you open the windows? Yep, sure did. Just hot air blowing in real good. You're crazy. Yeah, no, I'm not crazy. I know what heat is. I know what heat is. I know what's hot. I had to put my heat on yesterday because it was too drafty in my house. Yeah. I was sweating. You guys all live about equal distance. About equal distance from the ocean.

1:06:31I was... You'd probably be better once you shed a few pounds. Say it. Why don't you say it first? Shed a few pounds. Just say it. Shed them. Oh, boy. Shed the pounds. Drop a few. Yeah, it would. And then shed up. 570-1949 is our number. Jump in the pool. Yeah. It's pool, Jay. It's pool. That's what I said. Pool. Hello. An M1 will purposefully mess up their words to be like Jay. 100%. You're so fanatical about the show that you will build a treehouse without nails to be like Jay. Yep. You will pack on a few pounds to be like every single one of us on the show. Since we started. Yes. You will wake up bright and early in the morning because you know that we do. Thank you. That is what an M1 is. Dark and early. That's right. Let's see. Yeah. 5701949 is our number. And this is M1 Matt from San Diego. Are you there, Matt? Good morning, guys. Hi, Matt. What was the word of the day? Habanero. That's correct. I know it. Congratulations. You just won a pair of tickets to the San Diego Padres game versus the Giants tomorrow. Wow. And $40 worth of Dave and Buster's power cards. Hang in line, okay? Thanks so much.

1:08:03I went to an Asian tailor yesterday. And the woman said to me, and I was having to tailor some jeans. And the woman said to me, when you like to pick up? And I said, tomorrow. And she said, why so early? Which I thought, wow, that is quite a personal question. Direct. Very direct. Very direct. And I said, well, we're going on vacation, my wife and I. And she said, what time you want to pick up? And I said, I'm not really sure, but tomorrow. She said, five o'clock, okay? And I said, I said, can you do any earlier than that? And she said, you tell me. I said, how about noon? Yeah, that's okay. Where you go to vacation? And I thought, oh, wow.

1:09:04She's really... She's being friendly. Yeah, she's being friendly, but... Very curious. Yeah. You should have said, what are you, on the school paper? No. I would have asked. I would have asked. So I told her. You know what she said next? Uh-oh. How much it costs? Oh, wow. Well, that is a bit. And I said... And so I said, you know what? There's a lot. And she'd go, I know, but how much? Is he a Riddler? I am not. Yes. I mean... Apparently, in the Asian culture, I guess you can just ask. Certain ones, for sure. Yes. Did you tell her? I told her. No, you didn't. I felt weird. What did she say? She didn't overcharge you. You know what she said? No, no, no. You know what she said? What? She goes, not so bad. Yeah. When I get my nails done at certain places, it's, I mean, it's just open season. Pretty much anything, anything you want to ask. You on bath control?

1:10:07Yeah. I mean, that's a perfectly legitimate question. No. Oh, yeah. No way. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I mean, it would have to come up. It wouldn't just be one of those things. Would she say, you got boyfriend? And then you go, yes. And she go, would she say, you on birth control? She would probably lead maybe some other questions, but yeah. Because I thought that was very direct. Very. Yeah, it was. But to her, it was like nothing. Yeah. No. In Mexican culture, telling somebody that they're fat is not. Like, it's kind of funny and it's not bad. Really? Yeah. Claudia was telling us that, you know, she's from Mexico. She said that her sister says to her, you shouldn't eat so much so you get so fat. Oh, wow. And that's normal. Like, that's just normal. Yeah. I had a housekeeper. That was.

1:10:59She has a few pounds overweight. Yeah. She would, like, grab her stomach and, like, shake it. And, like, it was funny to her, you know? I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm so uncomfortable. Oh, my gosh, I'm so uncomfortable. We're very buttoned up over here. Yeah. But, you know, not a problem saying, oh, listen, you gain some weight? You getting fat? You getting fat, huh? I had a guy, I mean, our gardener one time said to me, you gain some weight? You getting fat or what? Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Yeah. Did you hurt your feelings? Yes, but no. Yes, it hurt my feelings, but no, because I knew the culture. Yeah. Yeah. That must be from Mexico then. Rebecca had a guy that worked at her old work that was Mexican from Mexico say, are you pregnant? Oh, no. No, she wasn't. Oh, boy. I always know how I look whenever I go to one of my friend's houses. Her mom is from Israel and she just tells it how it is. Oh, you lost weight. Oh, you gained weight. You know? Oh, my God. Good God. You know, she says whatever she thinks. And so, like, if she compliments you, I'm like, yeah, look at God.

1:12:04I didn't even hear that. Sorry. Okay, ooh, that hoe is big. I worked with a Japanese woman at the Belly Up, and she's still there. She's been there for like 25 years, and she will tell you. Like, if you get a new haircut, she'll be like, no. Wow. She'll go back to the old way. Wow. I feel like if I tried to do her accent right now, I'd do a Mexican one. I can't get the Japanese one in my head for some reason. Yeah, a haircut is no good. Yeah. It makes me think that our culture is the weird one. Yes, I think so, too. Because there's so many examples of other cultures that will say, oh, you're getting fat, man. You should lose some weight. It's mean, though. If I walked, well, Jay does it to us, but he's the exception. But if I walked and was like, hey, you're getting fat, I mean, it would kill you. And if somebody said to me, I would be like. Oh, the Mexican guy that said to Rebecca, hey, are you pregnant? And she goes, no.

1:13:03He goes, oh, you're just getting fat? True story. Wow. Devastated her. Of course. Yeah, I would stop eating. Yeah, she lost like, and she wasn't even big. No, she can't be big. I mean, and this was, devastated her. I mean, that's how the Mexican culture can be. I mean, they just tell you what's on their mind. So I got a weird story I got to tell you about really quickly. You guys know the movie Social Network? Yes. Okay. The Social Network is a movie about the creator of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg. This is my life, so I know it's not that dramatic. Anyway, he stole the idea of Facebook. Stole it. Did I say stole? Yes. Just remember, there's no such thing as stole. Yeah, I've tried to remember that, but it doesn't work. I always say stole. He stole the idea of Facebook. Allegedly. Allegedly. From a couple of guys. Twins. They were twin brothers. Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss. Catchy. Now, these two dudes were good looking sharp guys from Harvard that were rowing. Crew. They were in crew. They call it crew. They went to the Olympics for it. Rebecca has a buddy whose son is into rowing and wrote Tyler Winklevoss and asked for an autograph.

1:14:34And the other day, him and his mom pulled up in the driveway and Tyler Winklevoss was walking away from their door. If they had been two minutes late, they'd have missed him. But he came there because he was in San Diego training. And the kid gave his address and said, you know, to mail it back. And he was like, I'm going to be in San Diego. I'll take it to him. That's killer. And they got a picture of Tyler Winklevoss with his arm around this kid. The kid flipped out. How old's the kid? Twelve. Wow. What a nice guy. I know. That's incredible. Lost his mind. Stupid Mark Zuckerberg. Hey, stop it. You don't know. Mark, did you steal it or did you not? Actually, I completely conceptualized a totally different idea than what they had was a dating website. And I was not interested in girls. Obviously. Yeah, but that isn't necessarily completely clear. But you.

1:15:36did steal it or you didn't steal the idea? No, I had, if you watched them film, you'd see I was already doing something similar on a blog and they wanted to set up a dating website and they failed to execute it. Virtually the same idea. Virtually the same idea. No, not at all. Not the same idea. It's a virtual community. Oh, that's kind of what Facebook is. They wanted to do dating. This is for everyone. People can date on Facebook, though. Yeah. It's not strictly a... You're missing the concept. I wouldn't expect you to understand. You're missing the concept. Kind of a big Facebooker. I know what... Yeah, but you're not as smart as Mark. Yeah. He did it. He did it. He did it. He. He. Now... Because I know that that twin is so nice and did something like that, I believe him. Yes, now I believe him. Mark Zuckerberg can suck it. I think you're right. They were always portrayed in the movie as very nice, but I don't know. There was a believability of I could see where he would think that he didn't steal the idea and I could see where they think that they stole the idea. That's a pretty cool story. Team Winklevoss over here. Go Winklevoss. Winklevoss!

1:16:49Woods, I have to know. I have to know what happened when you hung out with Trevor Hoffman on Saturday night. So I did the MC gig for the Nativity School and Trevor was there with his wife. His wife is like the chair of this thing. And so we were sitting very close. They asked you to do it. They did. They asked me. The Hoffmans asked me if I would do it because they saw me at another one. They're like, oh, he's pretty funny. He could do a good job. So I did it, and I had a great time. So I'm doing the live auction, right? And we gave away a trip. We gave away a trip to Maui, gave away a couple things. And then so out comes this huge Roy Holiday signed jersey. Oh, wow. Okay, and a signed perfect game ticket from the playoff game in which he threw a perfect game. So it's my job to kind of introduce each prize. Right. So I walk out. I got the mic. I lug this huge thing out there, and I'm like, oh, man, what a great, great item this is. Right. And I kind of went into a little bit of the spiel that I gave at the one before where I was like, listen, Trevor. He was sitting right in front of me. I go, listen, I'm also a ball player, so I know how valuable this thing is, right? Plus, you're a Phillies fan. Not a Phillies fan, but I'm a baseball fan first. So Roy Halladay signed jersey. I'd be.

1:18:07all over it if I had any dough to my name whatsoever, right? So Trevor's sitting there and I go, Trevor, I got to tell you, I play in the Premier Baseball League. I said, you're retired, right? I said, we need a closer. My team, the Tipsy Crows, we need a closer. Oh my God. Now listen, you got to also remember, I'm in front of 250 people. Obviously, it's a bit, is it? But, so I go, Trevor, we need a closer. And I said, let me tell you what I can offer you. I go, you're a free ride to every game. On me. I'll pick you up. I'll take you home. We'll get you to the field. Get you loose. Get ready to go. Were they laughing? He was dying. He looked at me. He goes, nope. And I go, but I'm not done. I'm not done. You get your own jersey. That says Tipsy Crow's on the front. Sponsored by the Tipsy Crow downtown San Diego. Yeah. It's my best offer.

1:19:08It's a hard offer to pass out. Take it or leave it. So all the families, all the people that were there had a number that you hold up if you want to bid. Right. So after I said that, he goes, he looked at me and he goes, and he held his number up like he was in. Right. Obviously he's not. Right. But I'm still going to work on him and see if I can get him out in a crow's uniform. It's fantastic. Hey, as Woods told you yesterday. And I did some stuff that is pretty freaking funny. That's pretty funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Woods will be the first to tell you. Did some stuff that is pretty freaking funny. One of my favorite new jobs. That's great. And I did some stuff that is pretty freaking funny. That was pretty funny. He laughed. You ever just think you're the best? Now, it was... Wait a minute. It was a charitable thing. I'm a charitable thing. I know. Really? But it's also a true fact. I think it'd be safe to say I'm a jock sniffer. 100%. I love ballplayers. Yes, he does. If I was a woman, I'd be going after ballplayers. That's right. I'm a man and I go after ballplayers. That's a weird statement to make. It's the greatest. It's the greatest. That's funny. That is funny. He was really cool about it. I mean, some guys were like, you know, some guys would be like, yeah, dude, but he was. But that's clearly a joke. Yeah. And it's funny.

1:20:27If he wrote me and said, yeah, man, I'd like to get back in the game and play a little bit, yeah, of course we'd make room for him on the team. He could come close out games for us. He probably has no one he could play with. I know. That's the thing. But he wants to be on the semi-pro team. We're sponsored. It wouldn't cost him anything. And I'd give him a ride to the game. That's a pretty good deal. That's a good deal. He might like some dough thrown at him, but he wouldn't get that in your league. But he wouldn't have to pay L.O.B., so he would have dough thrown at him. Free jersey. And a ride. You know how expensive gas is right now? Dude. A ride until Woods got sick of doing it. Do you think I would get sick of picking up Trevor Hoffman to bring him to the Tipsy Crows games? Never would I. What if you were like, in four months, you were like, hey, Trev, dude. Never. I was talking. I'm trying to listen to my music. Bro, I want to pick you up, but I kind of like. Maybe you just start driving yourself. No way. It's Trevor Hoffman. I'd be all over it. If Trevor Hoffman gets in your car the very first time, you go pick him up and you're nervous, do you blast your music like you do when all of us are in your car? Yes. What? He would not like it. Hey, he used to walk out on the field to Hell's Bells. Real, real. Would you play that for him? No, I wouldn't dork out. How would that be dorky?

1:21:47Woods would blast the music, and the reason Woods would blast the music was the reason that I knew Woods would be one of the greatest radio personalities ever. He can't be anything but himself. Yes, exactly. He can't be anything but himself. Yeah. Now. I would blast the deftones as loud as it would be. Speaking of. Oh, my God. Just a bit now. About time. I'm on the spit today. I better loosen up. Oh, boy. I don't have a problem with it because you've done it to me. You've always done it to me.

1:22:24It's a little European. You've kissed me on the top of the head. You've kissed me because you're so tall and I'm so short. You kissed me on the cheek, though. And it was wet. It wasn't wet. It wasn't wet. I could see it being wet. It wasn't wet. Yeah, I've gotten a wet kiss from you. No, you haven't. It was a wet kiss. Not a wet kisser. You guys had been drinking. It was late at night. It was one time. Sorry, baby. You guys were on a break. Yeah. I was not, though. We were just, like, leaving work, though. I don't see why the kiss. We were leaving work. We were hugging. And we don't always hug. Woods gives a hard hug. He'll give a hard hug. I'm a hugger. I like it. One thing about Woods, he's a very passionate guy. Very. And if he feels bad about leaving sometimes, he'll be like, come here, let's hug it out. Yes. I'm a big fan of the hug it out bit. Yeah. Because we get pissy at each other sometimes. Yeah. And I'll be like, all right, it's over. Let's hug it out. Yesterday, he was giving Jay a hug. Yeah. And it was a hard hug and it was a big pat. Bro hug. And he kissed him on the cheek like a European. I'm very sophisticated. It's just sophistication. The thing that made it weird was that we didn't really acknowledge it. Yeah. In fact, we're acknowledging it now. It was like...

1:23:42Like something I watched and I thought, weird? I had taken a while to sink in, didn't I? Yeah, and then I just, I mean. I had to wipe it off. Yeah, Jay went, Jay went, and like. Yeah, I was like, yeah. And I wiped it off. Well, I just gave him a see you, pal, and then a little. I love Jay, man. I love Jay. Love everybody. Well. Now, be careful. No, no, no, no. I like that he does it. Be careful. So other guys can kiss you on the cheek? No, no, no, no, no. I don't like that he does it to me. I like that he does it in general. Right. That it's like a non... I think it's cool. It's just a non-filter that he has. I think he can do it. Yeah. I do it. I do it to my friends at home. I do it to my brother. I don't need it from him, but I love him. Well, you're going to get it now. Not very many people could pull that off. No. I don't think he can. Yes, I can. No. I thought he pulled it off. Yeah. We wouldn't actually be talking about it if he pulls it off. It was like, not even like a fake... It made a noise. It was like a direct kiss. It made a... It wasn't that loud. I still feel dirty. Don't feel dirty. Just because I love you. I look at you like a much older brother. Much, much, much older. Like a grandfather. You're replacing a grandfather of mine that passed away. Yeah. I appreciate it. Wow.

1:25:01Jay, teach me how to whittle. Teach me how to do stuff. Do you know other people that do that? Yeah. Yeah. Their names are Hans. And don't forget about Franz. Franz. Franz totally does it. Call right now with words for the Incorporator. Yes. 570-1949. Call us now with words for the Incorporator. We need regular words. You know, like chicken, pineapple, grass. You know, don't give us words that don't make sense. We need words. Where are we calling? Mike, I'm going to be calling in Jay's voice today. Okay. I'm calling a quick weight loss center for my friends, Mike and Woods. Okay. And he's got to incorporate the words that you call us with right now. 570-1949. Change at Blakey Show on FM 94.9. Kawasaki's Ticket to Ride demo event is rolling into town. It's your chance to test ride all the pavement-pounding 2011 street bikes from Kawasaki. Like the all-new Ninja 1000, the bike's sport rider magazine set is in a league of its own. The all-new Vulcan 1700 Vaquero, the bike that is about as good as it gets, according to Motorcyclist Magazine. Plus the redesigned Ninja ZX-10R, the Z1000, and the rest of the award-winning line of Kawasaki Street Bikes. Go to Kawasaki.com slash ticket to find out how you can ride the Kawasaki Street Bike of your choice.

1:26:38Saturday, April 9th and Sunday, April 10th from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Scottish Rite Events Center, 1895 Camino del Rio South in San Diego. Don't miss out. Head to the Scottish Rite Events Center Saturday, April 9th and Sunday, April 10th. Go to Kawasaki.com slash ticket for more information. Kawasaki, let the good times roll. Hey gang, it's your old pal Woodsy for Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Was talking to one of our sales guys yesterday. And he went in and met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and got LASIK. Got it on Friday. Yesterday was Monday. Yes, he walked in, looked at me and goes, dude, I don't know why I waited. That's something I hear all the time. That's something I went through myself. I finally went to get LASIK surgery last year. It was absolutely incredible. I have 2015 vision in both eyes. And as a semi-professional baseball player, that's definitely something that you need to have. You need to be able to see the ball, pick up the rotation, all that good stuff. Listen, call them today, 858-452-3937. Do not wait another second, man. They will take such good care of you in there. Tell them what he sent you. I'm going to hook you up with a backstage pass to come out and hang out with us on a Friday. Check them out online at www.clearvieweyes.com or call them at 858-452-3937.

1:27:55Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center, affordability, technology, and experience. Brides and Grooms, San Diego's biggest and best bridal show is coming to the Delmar Fairgrounds Sunday, April 10th. It's the Bridal Bazaar. I love it. There's so many choices and I love to have lots of choices. I mean, I kind of have an idea of what I want, but there's so many choices here. It's really awesome. I like what I'm seeing here. There's a lot of variety and kind of where I'm getting a lot of ideas. It's so much easier to have everything in one spot and to be able to see what you actually like. At the Bridal Bazaar, you'll find everything you need to plan the wedding of your dreams all in one place, all on one day. So many vendors to choose from, from everything from flowers to invitations. Cakes, definitely. I'm full from all the tastings. The dresses were gorgeous. Everything that you could possibly imagine. It's wonderful. It's kind of a collaboration of ideas that's coming together. It's got to be a perfect day. Plus, you can register to win a pair of diamond earrings from John Franklin Jewelers. The Bridal Bazaar, Sunday, April 10th at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. Tickets and discount coupons at bridalbazaar.com. Definitely go to the Bridal Bazaar because it's all you need.

1:28:57At CarMax, we understand that honesty is the cornerstone of providing great customer service. However, we also understand that there are times when you're better off not being honest. For instance, when your best friend asks you if you think his fiancée is pretty, you may not want to say she bears a striking resemblance to your Uncle Gary. And if your mailman Jim asks, how are you today, sir? There's no need to tell him you've been busy passing a kidney stone for the past six hours. Just say, doing good, Jim. And if your aunt asks you if you can attend her one-woman four-hour performance art show entitled For the Love of Sheila, you might want to say you already had plans. However, at CarMax, when a customer asks us to appraise their car, we know we have to be as straightforward and honest as possible. Just bring your car in. One of our trained appraisers will conduct a thorough inspection and have an offer for you within 30 minutes. You can take up to seven days to think about it or walk away with payment in hand. Why treat your customers so well? It's just the right thing to do. CarMax, the way car buying should be. Folks, did you know that groceries at Ralph's can help you run your car with a little help from Shell? They sure can. Just shop at Ralph's, and for every 100 rewards points you earn with your Ralph's rewards card, you earn 10 cents a gallon every day at participating Shell stations. Just another way you can save every day at Shell. Ralph's rewards points redeemable at participating Shell stations. Fuel earnings are limited to up to 35 gallons per purchase.

1:30:20See Ralph's stores for details or go to www.shell.us slash ralphs. Want to make next winter the ski season of your dreams? Snatch up Mammoth Mountain's cheapest season pass, the MVP, for only $659. And start using it May 1st. Come play in the parks. Powder and cruise runs till your heart's content because there are no blackout dates and you'll never have to stand in a ticket line. MVP is open to the public April 1st to the 13th or until we sell out. Call 800-Mammoth. or visit mammothmountain.com. Make the top of California yours. Hannah's father trained her to be an assassin. A doctor to die. Her government denied her existence. Take a look at this kid's blood sample. Can't be right. And her target is the one woman who holds the key to her past. We need to keep this contained, gentlemen. Did she turn out as you hoped? Better. Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, and Cate Blanchett. Sometimes children are bad people, too. Hannah. Come and find me. Directed by Joe Wright.

1:31:20Original score by the Chemical Brothers. Rated PG-13. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Hannah. Starts Friday. At Navy Federal, people ask us how we keep our mortgage rates so exceptionally low. I can tell you in about two seconds. We're member-owned and not-for-profit, so we focus on serving our members and keeping our rates low. Okay, that actually took 14 seconds, but this commercial is 30 seconds, so let me tell you quickly to go to NavyFederal.org and use the mortgage calculator tool to see what you can save. I also have time to say we serve all branches of the military and the DOD. Navy Federal. We serve where you serve. And we're timely. Equal housing lender. Rewarding loyalty. Now that's progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates, Mayfield Village, Ohio. Cumulative benefits are limited. Not available in all states and situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. What makes an auto loan great? Pacific Marine Credit Union has the answer. An amazing 2.5% loan rate for 72 months. Call 800-736-4500 or visit pmcu.com. Pacific Marine Credit Union, open to everyone. This report brought to you by IHOP, good news for kids, better news for parents, because now for a limited time, kids eat free at IHOP every day in April from 4 to 10 p.m. IHOP, come hungry, you'll leave happy at participating restaurants.

1:32:33Heading on the freeways, good news. We've got a few things cleared up on the 8 westbound Fairmont Avenue. That on-ramp's been reopened due to a stalled vehicle. Escondido on the 15 southbound fell a seat of road. We had an accident that was there earlier. They cleared it. Still pretty slow, though, from El Norte Parkway. And we do have some residual traffic. The 8 eastbound at the 805 is slow. Checking out the 805 drive, the northbound side, 47th Street. Some backup. And then again, a university to El Cajon. This report brought to you by the Salvation Army. Need an army to help clear out your garage? Call the Salvation Army. 1-800-SA-Truck. Schedule a free pickup today. Do good. Donate goods. Call 1-800-SA-Truck today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's happening? This is Bird from Bird's Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for this Tuesday morning. This is being brought to you by Joe Roper's Righteous Surf for Repair and Restoration Business. Go check out Joe. He does fine work. Anyways, today, surf is looking a little bit weaker and a little bit bleaker as that combination of west-northwest wind and groundswells continues to taper off. Secondary southwest swell is stronger, but also on the fade. Overall, end result is smaller surf running in that knee-to-waste high zone with some pluses on that. Top open areas, especially those spots facing that southwest swell, when it does show up, are looking at some waste chest outweighs of a possible plus on top of that.

1:33:57Starting the morning off with a very low tide, which is further hindering size and shape. So as the tide fills in, look for some improvement in all areas. Beach breaks pretty walled up. Reef breaks pretty weak. I'd say sleep in it for a bit or get other things done and see how the day progresses. Cloudy skies will greet you right now, but there is a chance for some sunshine as the day continues and winds are calm at the moment. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for your surfboard restoration and repair needs, you go see my good buddy Joe Roper down on Marina Boulevard. The surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love guacamole. Lauren. And I'm a cleft and an idiot. Woods. I cry more than my wife. Sienna. I would just scream, not because I was sad, just to hear myself scream. And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Not farting. That was Miley. Tooting. Not farting. Maybe a little. She's not farting. party. I saw Miley Cyrus on the cover of some magazine. She looked like a model. She's looking better if she's getting older. She has Monster Face from that movie. She does. She has that face. What is that? The Eileen Wuornos face from Monster. She has that face. She does. She does. She does. She does. She does. She does. She does. She does. She does. She's got the... He's comparing Miley Cyrus to the serial killer Eileen Wuornos.

1:36:01Oh, my goodness. Duck lips. She's very gummy. You see a lot of gums. If we saw that girl at the food court, both of those two would have their jaws on their own. Absolutely. Okay, you guys are in on Sarah Silverman, but not on my life. There you go. Now you're getting it. Woods would go, $15. I'll see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you seeing me. And Jay would go, oh. Negative. Oh, mama see that. Oh, mama see that. Oh, mama see that. I salute. Holy crap. It's just drooled on the table. I did? Yes. Oh, I gotta go. You gotta go? Time for the Incorporator. We love you. You're great. We're going to call some place out of town. Today we're calling Quick Weight Loss Center. And M1s have called in and they have...

1:37:44Giving us words that Woods has to incorporate into the conversation with Quick Weight Loss Center. I'm going to read you the words. We have from M1 slide, Mohawk. M1 Jason said tractor trailer. M1 John said fart. M1 Chris said jockstrap. M1 SoCal said graffiti. M1... Miss Sean said Dust Bunny. Miss Sean. I miss that guy too. We all miss him. I do too. I never met him, but I miss him so much. Great guy. M1 David said Florist. M1 Screenwriter said Turnip. And M1 Jill said Makeshift. Great words. Good job, guys. So Woods is going to have to incorporate these words. Into his conversation. I will feed him the words. The person on the phone cannot hear me. The only person they can hear is Woods. All right, Jay, send him in. Ready for your first word? Yes. We always give him the first one. First word is mohawk. Okay. And you're going to do Jay's voice? Yeah. Calling about my fat friends, Mike and Woods. Perfect. Here we go. Can't hear me? Only Woods.

1:39:44Yeah, you did. I did. Do I ever dial wrong numbers? Yeah. That was a weird message machine. She just said her name first. The weight loss center? Yep. Quick weight loss center. This is Bridget. How can I help you? Hi, Bridget. I catch you off guard this morning. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I just was dealing with a customer. No worries at all. My name is Jay Isbell, and I'm calling on behalf of a couple of tubby bastards I know, and wanted to kind of get an idea of a class schedule. I just got done working out with my trainer. He's got a mohawk, and he, boy, he whips me. He whips me good. Tractor trailer. Yeah, it's real cool. So what kind of classes y'all offer for my fat friends? Well, actually, we have classes four days a week, Monday through Thursday, and we have a number of different schedules. If your friends wanted to come in, I could kind of give them a little bit of a... Well, I'm going to warn you. I'm going to warn you right now. They're both as big as a tractor trailer. All right?

1:41:10Both of them have breasts, so I don't know what you're going to do with them. Oh, you know, we get people of all different sizes in here, so whatever their weight loss goal is, we can definitely help them out. Well, these two fat little farts are, they're damn near worthless. I mean, they eat, they eat chocolate, they eat candy, cheesecake, whatever you put in front of them, these little turds are going to eat. Well, we try not to judge people. Well, I do. I judge people all the time. One of these little dudes wore a... Wore a jockstrap into work one day. I pulled his pants down. He's wearing a jockstrap. That's a true story. We usually just try to take people as they are and then help them along their goals. Sure. Well, listen, y'all are in a nice part of town. Where one of them come from, he's a Mexican, and he's really into graffiti, as a lot of Mexicans are. So, you know, he's going to be the tough one. All right, the Mexican. He's going to be the tough one. The other one's kind of an idiot. He'll just do what you say. But this one might fight you, the Mexican. Dust bunny. Well, we have a lot of people that come in and they start a plan, and it's really difficult for them to stay with it, and we actually have motivation built in. All right, that's good. They need it. These two guys need it. Tell me. Tubby one and Tubby two. Listen, now, y'all's place is clean, right? If they came in, there ain't going to be no dust bunnies floating around because one of them's got OCD, and he's damn near crazy.

1:42:40We keep it very clean. We have a night janitor, and it's a very clean place. Okay. All right. Well, I'm going to try. You know what I'll probably do? I've got to come in and check it out. I've got to get some flowers for my wife, Kim, at the florist. And what I'll do is I'll come in and check it out, give it my seal of approval, and then I'll report back to these two fat turds. All right. Well, what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to change the diet. All right. Like, for instance, Tubby One, what he'll do is he'll eat a piece of cheesecake in the morning, and he'll wash that down with a bear claw. And, you know, what I'm trying to do is get them on salads and turnips and things like that. All right? Those are all really healthy things. Yeah, it's, you know, I built a makeshift gym where we all work together, and it ain't working. It ain't taking to it. But, boy, they sure like to raid that snack machine, that's for sure. Fat bastards. A lot of people have that problem. Yeah, that's true. No, I don't. I climb. I eat at mommy. I surf. I skate. I rock climb. I lift weights. I jog. I sprint. I swim. I repel. I zip line. I do the tightrope. I can do trapeze. I can do it all. I get back massages. But I'm going to come in later and check it out. Okay, great. Well, I'll be here all day. All right. Well, I feast.

1:44:04I hate you. I actually hate you. I had to hang up. When you said feast, I had to hang up. When you said one of them's Mexican and he does graffiti, I almost lost my mind. Wow. Oh my gosh. Wow. Oh my. Okay, feast. Nobody knows what to say to that. Yeah, you can't say anything to Feast. Feast? Oh, my gosh. That's the hardest that I've ever had to try to stifle the laugh. That's the hardest I've ever had to try to stifle the laugh. I swear, but I eat in a moment. I hate you. It's done out of love, my friend. You should be flattered. That would be a phone call from Jay to a weight loss center about me and Mike. Yeah. Absolutely. That's exactly what it would sound like. Tubby one and tubby two. Fat turds. We're going to play a game right now called The Gas Price is Right. Oh, yeah. All right. Let's do it. Here's how it works. You're going to call us right now, 570-1949. As a prize, we have movie tickets to the Foo Fighters movie, right? Yeah, the documentary. Back and forth.

1:45:29All right, they got a documentary out, and we'll send you to see this Foo Fighters documentary. Here's how we play The Gas is Right. First of all, Sienna, how much is gas up to now? Well, the average price of a gallon of self-serve regular gasoline in San Diego County rose yesterday for the 12th time in 13 days. Oh, my gosh. I'll say that again. The 12th time in 13 days. The price increased four-tenths of a cent. It is now... About $4.10 a gallon. Wow. Self-serve regular gas. There you go. All right, so call us right now, 570-1949. And all you got to do is play high-low with us. Gas price is right. I'm going to give you a item, and you have to tell us if the item costs more or less than $4.25. That's the median price of gas right now. So you're either going to tell us, is it higher or lower? Very easy. Well, is it? You want to do three out of five, right, for these folks? Yes, you've got to do three out of five. You've got to do three out of five. So as long as you can get three out of five of them right, you're good to go. 570-1949. And M1, Scott, are you there? I am here. Hey, Woodsy. Yeah. That was the best incorporated ever. Thank you. Yeah.

1:46:48It was hilarious. Thank you. It was hilarious, man. You have a gift from God. Thank you. The spirit was powerful that time. I was trying so hard. I could do Jay every week. I know it. It would never get old. What about Jamie? What about dinner first? I was really trying hard not to laugh. Oh, it's so good. All right. Well, let's do this thing. All right. So here's how we play the gas prices right. Medium price of gas is $4.25. And you've got to get three out of five of these correct. You've got to tell me if this costs more or less. Are you ready? I'm sorry. I know you hate this. She just said it was $4.10. No, it's $4.25. It's $4.25? Her article said $4.10, but we went to... You were supposed to look at the gas station this morning, which you said was $4.25. Okay. The article said $4.10. I just didn't want anybody to be confused. We were going off of where Mike got gas this morning. Okay. $0.25 difference, pals. $0.15. Mine was from you and Tribune this morning. $0.15. I'm sorry. $0.15. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I corrected him, too. $0.25. $0.25. Final answer. Just want to make sure everybody's on the same page. All right.

1:48:07A hundred ounce bottle of Tide detergent. More or less? A hundred ounces. A hundred ounces. Let me see. Oh, definitely more. That's correct, buddy. You got it. He's got one down. You got one down. You got to get best out of five. So you got to get three out of five right. I do laundry. Copenhagen Long Cut. More or less? Oh, I think we're close here. I think we're... I'm going to say more. That is correct, buddy. Wow, look at you. Very good. You only need one more. Wizzy knew that one, didn't you? Oh, yeah. A pack of Marlboro Lights. More or less than $4.25? Believe it or not, I don't smoke or chew, but I believe it's more than $4.25. That is correct, buddy. You are a winner. You missed your calling. You did. I feel like gas is cheap. Yeah, 425. It feels cheap against those things. Yeah, but you need like 10 to 15 gallons or more in your tank. Hang on the line, okay? You're a winner. Congratulations. M1, Greg from Alpine. Are you ready to go? Yeah, what's happening, guys? Not too much. You got to do best out of five to win. Medium price of gas, 425. Is one bag of Lay's kettle chips more or less than 425?

1:49:34I'm about to go with less. That's correct. You guys are good. One gallon of Dairy Glen milk. More or less than 425? It's got to be less. That is correct. Only one more, dude. All right. One 64-ounce bottle of Odwalla orange juice. More or less than 425? A 64-ounce bottle of Odwalla orange juice is $5.99. Wow. That's the good stuff. It's premium. You got to get this next one right. One jar of Mount Olive pickles. More or less than $4.25? More. That is incorrect, but you do have one more chance. Are you ready? All right. One box of Always Infinity Tampons.

1:50:45One box of Always Infinity Tampons. M1, Greg, is it more or less than $4.25? I don't even know. I really hope it's less. Started hot. A box of Always Infinity Tampons is $7.49. Who knew? Who knew? Now you know. Who knew? Sorry about that, dude. Good try. It's a good game. Yeah. As long as gas prices are so high, we can continue to play it. Yeah. So, I guess, who's the chick that's married? Katie Holmes, the chick that's married to Tom Cruise. She's doing the rounds right now. I guess she's got a new movie out or something. The JFK movie. It's the JFK thing. Oh, okay. Yeah, she's in that. That's original. They've never done a movie about him before. It's a made-for-TV movie. Very controversial. Yeah, miniseries.

1:51:46And it's very controversial. In fact, it was going to air on one of the networks and they're not letting it. But anyway, she's doing the rounds right now. You know, she's Scientologist. Yes. Well, her husband's Scientologist, which of course makes her Scientologist. She married into it. She married into it. And I thought this was very interesting. Now, they are friends with Will. And Jada Pinkett Smith. Yes, who are also Scientologists. Now, I thought at one point that he was not Scientologist, Will Smith. And the reason I thought that he was not Scientologist is because one time somebody asked him about spaceships. And they said, do you really believe on aliens from another planet? And, you know, isn't that crazy? And he said... Well, I don't really think it's that crazy because in my religion, I believe that a virgin had a baby. So how crazy could it be? Which made me think, hmm, he must be Christian. Maybe that was like before when he was doing Independence Day or something like that. And maybe he's not anymore. He converted. I'm 99% sure he's a Scientologist. They could probably convert it. So here's Katie Holmes telling a story about Jada.

1:53:07And Will over at the house with Harry Tom. Jada Pinkett-Smith was here, and she said that you guys will sometimes have game nights where you play. Do you play Monopoly with, like, real money and real buildings? This is the regular. What do you guys play? We play a version of Scrabble called Tig 2, which is you don't use the board. You just use the pieces, and everyone gets four pieces. and you flip the pieces over at the same time you try to make a word. And if somebody makes a word, then they say, take two. And then you all have to take two. So if you're not quick, you're taking two and taking two and taking two, and suddenly you have 20 pieces and you have to make all these words. Who's the most competitive in that group of the four of you? We're all pretty competitive. You are? Yeah. Who's the worst loser in the group? I think you'll have to come over and join us, and you'll be the judge of that. Then it will be me. So what does that answer make you think? What do you think the answer, L.O.B., who is she insinuating is the worst? I think instinctively I would think that Tom is. Me too. But she's afraid of him. She doesn't want to say it. I thought Tom. Agreed. Me too. Did we all think Tom? I thought Tom with both questions. Most competitive and worst. Exactly. Me too. Here's my next observation. Almost, I would think, any wife in the world would go, my husband.

1:54:33And you wouldn't have, my wife would go, I mean, if I was the most competitive, would think it would be funny to go, definitely my husband. Sure. Your chance to make fun of him. She clearly. He's back there giving her the stink eye and like the slit throat. Yeah. The new signal. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, did you guys think that too? Yes. That was just strange. Elevator ambush is next. Yes. Here's the idea. Yesterday, the entire Mikey show, me, Sienna, Woods, L.O.B., and Jay got onto an elevator and waited for somebody to walk onto the elevator. And we ambushed them like the show Cash Cab. And then we started asking them questions. And they had to get two out of three. And you get to hear it. And we'll also tell you an extra little nugget that happened while we were on the elevator.

1:56:01All right, it's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Friday night, Rise Against Her coming back to San Diego and they're bringing bad religion. That shows this Friday the 8th at the Remac Arena. April 14th is the next FM 94.9 about the music show with Biffy Clyro. That one's only $6. TV on the radio, play 4th and B May 2nd. Pinbacks at the Belly at May 13th. On June 1st, see Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra at Soma. Matt and Kim play with the Thermals at House of Blues June 16th. July 5th, Eddie Vedder hits Copley Symphony Hall. A Perfect Circular at the Open Air Theater July 26th. And on August 19th, it's 3-11 with Sublime with Rome at Cricket Wireless. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. What makes an auto loan great? Pacific Marine Credit Union has the answer. A great auto loan goes far beyond a low interest rate.

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2:00:04Be one of the three million people who will learn a new language this year by taking part in our nationwide event. For your free demo CD-ROM, call 1-800-616-4996. 1-800-616-4996. This is the sound of Becky using a deposit-friendly ATM from Chase. So, I just push the deposit checks button and slide these checks right in the slot. This is the sound of Jane depositing checks at her bank's ATM. Ugh, I gotta lick this envelope. Ow! Becky. And I get a picture of my checks on the receipt to confirm. Jane. I got a paper cut on my tongue. Becky. Okay, I'm done. Jane. Excuse me, can I borrow your pen again? I forgot to put my account number on the envelope. Say goodbye to deposit slips and envelopes with Chase Deposit Friendly ATMs. A faster way to deposit checks, even cash. Deposit up to 30 checks and 50 bills at a time. Just slide them in.

2:00:58And with a picture of your check on your receipt, you know that your deposit is safe and secure. Now that's a step forward. Thank you. Here's a pen back. Deposit-friendly ATMs from Chase. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Deposits are subject to the fund's availability policy. See a banker for details. JPMorgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. Hey guys, this is L.O.B. here to talk to you about Ovation. Hey! L-O-B. Sorry, that's my producer, Jay. Hey, did you cut that ovation spot yet? You mean the ovation spot? No, ovation. It says right here, O-V-A-T-I-O-N. Actually, I'm cutting that right now, and that's ovation. What's that, like some kind of drink? No, it's for your hair, actually. Like a drink for your hair? Um, I guess you could call it that. But not exactly. You apply it kind of like a cream rinse. You've got the color therapy shampoo. You have the cell therapy. And then you have a cream rinse that you put on after that. And it's going to help you grow your hair. Oh, grow? I could grow some more hair. But yeah, my hair has grown back thicker, stronger, longer. That.

2:01:59I'm really happy with Ovation. You have to go to OvationHair.com and put in FM949 to get that special introductory rate. Don't forget, you want to get that color therapy shampoo, the Ovation Cell Therapy, and the cream rinse application. That's OvationHair.com and put in FM949 at checkout to get that special rate. To promote Carl's Jr.'s new charbroiled turkey burgers, we hired Miss Turkey. But she speaks Turkish, so we hired a forklift operator to read her role. I may be a pageant queen, but I still enjoy the simple things in life like any other girl. Sand between my toes, a man's strong embrace, and ping pong. The new charbroiled turkey burgers from Carl's Jr. Original guacamole or teriyaki. Designed with men's health to be under 500 calories. And that's just the way it is. For a limited time at participating restaurants, men's health is a registered trademark of Rodale Inc. Welcome to the REI Member Rewards Event. Hi, I need a good fit for hiking. Osprey Talon 44 Backpack. Perfect. And something that's comfortable. REI Venturi Quarter Zip Shirt. Around camp, yes. Now, I need a... Jetboil Zip Cooking System. You heard my stomach growl, didn't you? We know what you need because we know what you love. Shop REI's member rewards event now through April 10th. Members get 20% off one full price item. Exclusions apply. Not a member? There's no better time to join. REI. Find out. Hurry into the REI member rewards event now through April 10th. Members get 20% off one full price item. Exclusions apply. REI. Find out. Are you looking for tickets? Well, for a second year in a row, FM 94.9 and Honest Tea are teaming up to giveaway tickets to Coachella. Let's go!

2:03:23Stay tuned for details about upcoming random acts of kindness and your chance to win tickets to Coachella from FM 94.9 and Honesty. There are only 13 days left until the tax deadline. Call 1-800-HR-BLOCK now and let one of their highly trained tax professionals help you get everything you deserve. H&R Block. Never settle for less. This report brought to you by 5-Hour Energy. 5-Hour Energy, the no wait, no hassle way to a great morning. Unlike coffee, there's no making, no waiting. Now that's fast and easy. That's 5-Hour Energy. Try it today. We've got a lot of slowing in different places this morning on the 52 westbound Mass Boulevard, a backup here. It's also pretty slow near Convoy. The 56 westbound Carmel Valley Road is also seeing some delays. And it looks like if you're headed towards Cottonwood, I know it's a little bit out there, but East Chase Avenue at Hillsdale Road, there is a two-car crash. They've got a backup in the area. CHP is on the scene. This report brought to you by McDonald's. It's back now. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks.

2:04:22Only 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. I'm in. Ziena. How fair my skin is. I got freckles. Get out of here. And Jake. I love boobs, too. I love blue boobs of all sizes. I just don't think they have to be giant or rubbery. On FM 94.9. I wonder how long I'm going to keep drinking wheatgrass. Working for you? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What is it doing for me? Nothing. You wouldn't do it if you didn't think it did something. Aiding in digestion. Is it? It's detoxifying. Yes. All right. Cleansing your organs. You have a lot of toxins in there. Yeah. Antioxidants. Yes. It's a natural deodorant. Parabens. Fair enough. Yeah, parabens. PFCs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. PCBs. And also new radicals. Free radicals. Nightshades. Nightshades. Yep. Just say words. That sound good. That sound like words. When I see a drink, like the other day I was in the break room over there and I saw green tea and it said with...

2:06:27Antioxidants. And I go, ooh. Oh, God. I got to get some of that. Green tea is packed with antioxidants. I don't want antioxidants. Yeah. I don't know what they are, but I don't want. I want antioxidants. We don't know what they are. I don't know what it is, but I'm all the way in on it. Yeah, because if you don't have that, what will happen is eventually you'll oxidize so much that your face will fall off. Yeah. PP song coming up at 830. Oh, boy. I heard you wrong. I thought you said PP song. That's what it is. Kids can hear it. Yep. In fact, I think it's for kids. It was written for kids so that they would not go wee-wee in the bed. Formed by kids. That's right. I have a sore in my mouth. Do you want to know what it's caused by? Herpes. No. Radical guess, but no. Lack of sleep. No. Too much food. Oh, wow. Hot sauce. That's the closest answer to the truth. Hot food.

2:07:36The only reason that I'm going to admit this on the radio is because I desire ratings. And I'll be honest with you. And I know that a part of raising ratings is to reveal things about yourself that are sometimes not pleasant to do. I have a sore in my mouth because I stabbed myself with a hard french fry yesterday. Wow. Write that whole thing down. Yep. That's mortifying. Yeah. And true. I do stuff like that. I love sunflower seeds, the ranch-flavored kind. That's not bad for you. It's not. It can be. But I know that I'm going to get a sore from eating them, yet I continue to eat them because I like them so much. It's like Sour Patch Kids. And then I'm in pain for days. You wear the little tip off your tongue. Yes. I'll go through a bag of those during one Little League game, and I mean a whole bag.

2:08:39Of seeds. Do you know the French fries that look like a little saber? Yep. Mickey D's. Mickey D's. Oh, yeah. Weird. You know the hard, saber-like fry? So you went to Mickey D's yesterday? What happened to your, going back to Wendy, your trainer? It's funny because he's fat. He got a vacation in a couple days. Now's as good a time as any to let people know. You haven't? Now's as good a time as any to let people know that we're going to take a little break. Yeah. Have a little vacation. Okay. Don't freak out. Don't let everybody freak out. Stop screaming. Everybody stop screaming. And I've lost exactly zero pounds for the vacation. Have you gained any? Of course. How many? Don't know. Don't I? Scales are terrifying. Yeah. Scales are terrified. By the way. All right. Ouch. Ouch. Owie. Oh, that one got me. It's killing me. It's killing me.

2:09:40He's the Mexican in prison that gets you with the shank as you walk to the shower. Don't turn your back on me. With a tattoo on his neck. By the way, I've discovered something at McDonald's. I thought you knew everything about McDonald's already. Woods, I invite you to try this one time. I'm out. I moved, what direction is that? You know where my new house, what direction is it? South? I moved south, west of McDonald's. I don't see it anymore. So I'm good. Well, if you ever go back. I'm not going to. All right. If I did. If you did. I don't get it. I used to get a cheeseburger and French fries. I don't anymore. Now I get a regular hamburger. Cost of like 49 cents. Yep. Tastes better. Without cheese? It tastes better.

2:10:45I like them too. Wow. I know how strange that sounds. It tastes better. Yeah. I agree with you. How strange. My bit used to be two hamburgers and a vanilla shake. Feast. It was one of my bits. Yeah, I got it yesterday. Medium fries, of course. Well, yeah. You don't want to be. Don't get large ones. Don't be ridiculous. Large would be so excessive and decadent. Pig-ish. Yeah. What a pig to get a large. So I said, by the way, it was 1245. The line. All right. All right, Jay. He just has to slide that dagger so far in. Twist it a little bit. And twist it. How long was the line? It was around the building. I thought, look at all these crack addicts. I'm one of them. Can't help yourself. Do you wait in line or go in? I'm waiting in line. I usually, if I see the long line like that, I go in. Not me. That would mean I have to walk. I need my fix to exercise. So I went through the line and I got...

2:11:41a regular hamburger and medium fries. And one of them was like a little saber. And I stuck it in my mouth and I stabbed the side of my mouth. And it hurt. And I thought to myself, just take a look at yourself right now. Did it stop you from eating the rest of the fries? Of course it didn't, Sienna. Of course it didn't. You get salt in your wound. Yeah, literally salt in the wound. Ketchup in the wound. Beef in the wound. Little tiny diced onions in the wound. I thought to myself, look at you right now. You just injured yourself on fast food. You monster. Driving and eating and look at you. You just injured. Like, Mike, what does rock bottom have to look like for you? You didn't choke at least. I didn't choke, but what does rock bottom have to look like for you? Maybe what it looks like for you is you injure yourself on a French fry. Maybe that's what rock bottom looks like.

2:12:40No, maybe rock bottom is you getting your size 40 jeans altered by the Vietnamese lady. And she says, this long, this too long, or you'll need to come up a little. No, it's fine. Taylor, believe me. Did they get the waist taken out or just the length shortened? Taken out. Just have a drawstring put in. It's elastic. No, Lauren, no Jay. I didn't have the waist taken out. And no, Jay, I didn't have elastic put into my jeans. I got them altered because I'm short. Are you shrieking? No, Woods, I'm just short. Got some new jeans. Are they new jeans? Yes. Okay. They had to be. I got it. It's okay, Mike. It isn't. It's okay. Sienna, you're a nice person. No. She said, your body's shaped weird, so you... Your body's shaped like this. You have to make longer. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. Did you keep the original hand? Is this okay? That's fine. No, no, no. You have to look. No, that's good. Can you turn? I felt...

2:14:12Like a naked person that's going into jail where the guy's got the hose and says, spread them. Getting de-loused. Yeah, getting de-loused. Oh, wow. Can you tell him? How's that for you? Is that long enough? Did you put your shoes on while you did it? Yes. Okay. Because last time you got them short and too short. I know, Lauren. I know that. No going back. When you wash them, they'll shrink up a little bit too. The woman told me to wash them before I came into the store. You did? Smart. Savvy. Savvy hurt a little bit. Rich. Compelling. I said, because of Lauren's voice in my head, I said, make sure they're not too short.

2:15:17You want to step on him just a little bit. And she said, because of the way your body shakes. Oh, Mike. Don't look at Lauren. Don't look at her. I can't. I won't and I can't. I can't and I won't. I can't and I won't. Lauren covered her face in embarrassment. And if Mike sees Lauren being embarrassed because it's about him. It's like a dagger. It's okay. Everyone goes to get their pants hemmed at times. I've done it and I'm tall. I've been told my body's shaped weird by the tailor as well. They like to say those things to make you feel bad. Watch. Move forward. And I'm thinking, don't. Please. Haven't you done enough? Watch. Move forward. Watch. Move forward. And I'm thinking, no, I get it. You don't have to illustrate. And I go, it's okay. No, move forward. No, no, no. I understand what you're saying. Move forward. I moved forward. She goes, you see how Ray's up?

2:16:17Only one side. Raise up. Your body shape weird. Where your body shape. Weird. She didn't say weird. She said, it's where your body shape. Your one hip higher than the other. Yeah. You know how she illustrated that? By patting my thighs like a horse. You see? She took a muffin off the counter and goes, you see this muffin? One side longer than the other. This side of muffin hang too low. Like you. This wrapper is your pants. You see wrapper? That you're raised. Okay? And then this part of muffin hang too low. You know why? Too many burrito. She slapped those thighs and I thought, this is...

2:17:20The worst I've felt all day. Did you go to McDonald's after that? Yes, I did. I don't feel bad for you. No, you didn't learn your lesson. Stop going there. No, I know he was sympathy eating. He was pain eating. I do it too. Yeah, you do it because you go, you know what? I'm mad as well. Nobody cares anyway. I'm a gargoyle. I'm a monster. I'm going to go eat McDonald's. I'm mad as well. What am I going to do at a swimming pool? Oh, boy. What am I going to do? My wife is hotter than a $2 pistol. She's been working on this thing. She looks so good. She does. Yeah, she looks good. Oh, man. Hey. She's an attractive lady. I know. She looks fabulous. Thank you. What is her secret? Yeah. Let's see. Smell this napkin with Lora Form on it. Are we having chicken tonight? I'll look.

2:18:40Can I rub your back up? If we're having chicken tonight, I'll take a leg. You want to do some shaking back? Better say no. Words will you be my wing? To Mark's wife? To the person I work for as well. Jay had no problem. He walked in that house on Friday night and he sees Rebecca and goes, oh, wow, look at you. You look great. That was a compliment. What's wrong with that? That's not creepy. No, staring at her breasts while he said it. No, I didn't stare. She did look fabulous. I didn't stare. I took a picture. You reap what you sow, Mike. That's right. Thanks for pointing that out.

2:19:55She's been working hard. You, Mike, haven't. You haven't. You have not. All right. You ready for elevator ambush? Yeah. It's okay, Mike. You'll have a good time in the hotel room. Really, Santa? That's your answer to me. You'll have a good time. Let's be honest. You just want to make sure that there's good room service and the AC works. And wireless internet is fast. feel like you didn't work out just so you could have an excuse. No. That's not true. That's not the truth. Because you want to just sit in there with you. Oh, that's good. That's good. I'm going to that pool. I don't care. Buffet? Listen. You're on the pool buffet? I don't care if those Hawaiians are saying, oh, look, a beluga's washed up from Japan. They're not going to say that. Aren't they?

2:20:55That laugh, too. Okay, okay, okay. Really? Seriously? Really, dude? Really? Well, that's because you have big jugs. Shut up. Shut up. Stop. It's funny because he's fat. Scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has. Oh, wait. That was against me, wasn't it? All right, so we got in an elevator yesterday. Oh, my gosh. That's going to embarrass me, too, telling that part. Why? Oh, why? I don't know why. We got into an elevator yesterday. We did Elevator Ambush. It's like the show Cash Cab. Somebody walks into the elevator. We talk to them and ask them questions. They've got to get three out of five. Here we go. Only floor number three. How are you doing? What's your name? We're the Mikey Show.

2:22:05And you've been selected to play the Elevator IQ. Would you like to stay on the elevator with us and contend for a great prize? What is it, Jay? You could have $40 worth of Dave & Buster's power cards. Yeah! You got it. All right. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to ask you five questions. You just got to get three out of five to win. Are you ready? Yep. Your first question is, when smoked, what type of fish becomes lox? You can miss two. That was an easy one, didn't you? Yes, the easiest. Nothing about fish. When smoked, what type of fish becomes locks? You know, bagels and locks. A locked fish. That's incorrect. But don't worry, you can still miss one more. You can still miss one more. Your second question.

2:23:04Found in bathrooms, what sweet-smelling bowl of confetti translates literally into rotten pot? Wow, dude. You're doing good. You're doing good. You can't miss this one. Look at Garrett. Garrett's up there. Garrett. Elevator doors opened up. We saw Garrett standing up there. He didn't get on? Garrett. He looked at us like, I ain't getting on with these people. What the hell are you guys doing? What was the question? One more time. Found in bathrooms. One more time. What sweet-smelling bowl of confetti translates literally? Am I new to radio? Sounds like Woods' audio. Oh, boy. Like my confetti toy. You were just holding the recorder. What translates literally into rotten pork? I don't know the answer to this song. Question. Let me ask you another question. Fire away. Have you ever been to broadcast school? I have not. How long have you been on radio? I've been on radio for a year and a half. Oh, okay. I've been on radio for 23 years. One would think that you'd have the recorder figured out. Haven't figured it out yet. Especially since you give some of your co-workers such grief about it. And I tell my co-workers to check the levels.

2:24:27Every time. Every time. And then when they don't, you get upset with them. Well, if by upset you mean that I say don't do that, then yes, upset. Yes, that's exactly what I mean. Okay, I do. But then when I do it, I do the same exact freaking thing. Exactly. It's not very wise of me, is it? No, it is not. Maybe the person that used the recorder before me leaves the settings to where I had them. Maybe the person that... takes that back their own recorder would check the settings before they launched a new bit. Fair enough. You guys, it's neither your fault. We're in an elevator. We're all enjoying it. It's aggressive. Or outwardly aggressive. It's just plain aggressive, I think, is what it is. PB song? PB song? PB song is next. Question for M1s. Let your voice be heard.

2:25:47Heard on the Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call 570-1949. Here comes the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More on the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9. Greetings from San Diego Hydroponics and Organics. You know, it doesn't matter if you're using soil, hydroponics, aquaponics, or even aeroponics. San Diego Hydroponics has the gardening supplies you need and the experience to help. They've been dialing in San Diego's indoor gardens and grow rooms for over 12 years running. They've got your lighting, digital and magnetic ballasts, hoods and reflectors, plus tons of high-pressure sodium, metal halide LED and T5 grow lights. Everything needed to supply your own sun. Want to change the weather? Check. San Diego Hydroponics stock grow tents, fans, filters, ducting, and environmental controllers. Everything to keep your crop-yielding monster fruits. Remember. San Diego Hydroponics is San Diego County's exclusive retailer for house and garden Van Dezuan ingredients. Got questions? Visit sthydroponics.com and use our free 24-hour Ask a Grower service. Or visit us in Pacific Beach, Lakeside, San Marcos, or Carlsbad. San Diego Hydroponics and Organics. Cultivating a green community. Hey, gang. It is your old pal, Woodsy, here to tell you once again about bacon alia at Denny's. And holy cow, did they do it right over there.

2:27:10They have taken two months out of the year to celebrate what is one of the best foods ever discovered, bacon. Seven new dishes they created. The ultimate bacon breakfast, bacon flapjacks, which are flapjacks with bacon in them, served with eggs, hash browns, the whole thing. Pepper bacon and eggs, the triple bacon sampler. So if you're like Jay, you can go get your turkey bacon on, hickory smoked bacon. Two strips of new pepper bacon. Oh, my gosh. The BBBLT sandwich, which is a triple-decker BLT with bacon. It's incredible. Bacon alia at Denny's. Also, bacon meatloaf and the maple bacon sundae, which is a hot fudge sundae with bacon on it. Get to Denny's as soon as you can. You've got to celebrate bacon alia with the guys down at Denny's. It is incredible. Bacon alia at Denny's. Get some. What's this? A friend request from Cox High Speed Internet? Wow, look at all the friends we have in common. Let's check this out.

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2:30:25Um, I guess you could call it that. But not exactly. You apply it kind of like a cream rinse. You've got the color therapy shampoo. You have the cell therapy. And then you have a cream rinse that you put on after that. And it's going to help you grow your hair. Oh, grow? I could grow some more hair. But yeah, my hair has grown back thicker, stronger, longer. That. I'm really happy with Ovation. You have to go to OvationHair.com and put in FM949 to get that special introductory rate. Don't forget, you want to get that color therapy shampoo, the Ovation Cell Therapy, and the cream rinse application. That's OvationHair.com and put in FM949 at checkout to get that special rate. Hannah's father trained her to be an assassin. Her government denied her existence. Take a look at this kid's blood sample. Can't be right. And her target is the one woman who holds the key to her past. We need to keep this contained, gentlemen. She turned out as you hoped. Better. Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, and Cate Blanchett. Sometimes children are bad people, too. Hannah. Come and find me. Directed by Joe Wright. Original score by the Chemical Brothers. Rated PG-13. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Hannah. Starts Friday. When a dog sticks his head out the car window, it's an expression of freedom and sheer joy. At Navy Federal, we want you to have that same exuberance when buying a car. So we created the Power Auto Loan to give our members amazingly low rates,

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2:32:43Lots of slowing this morning on the 5 southbound Pacific Highway. A disabled car. It's in the middle of lanes. Fletcher Parkway at the 67. An accident. Three cars. CHP is on the scene. Big backup in that area. As you head on the 5 southbound between Balboa Avenue, La Jolla Village Drive, it's off and on slowing. This report brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. The Internet. It's good for emailing things, but it's even better for securely managing your health online 24-7. Kaiser Permanente. Thrive. Visit kp.org slash thrive. I'm Stacey. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. And I wear like a 44 small. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. Woods. I mean, hey, listen, I did snuff on the planet, okay? I put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jay. I'd have to be dying not to come down and help you. Yeah. I would have to have had my arm chopped off. On FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. Beach Boys. Very nice. Pet Sound. That's from John Foreman's solo stuff. So, Jay sent me this the other day. And it's a YouTube thing. It's a viral thing on YouTube. And it's from the 90s. And it's like this family that are kind of like the Osmonds, but way weirder. Weird, weird. Like, weird. They're...

2:34:46The dad was like Santa Claus, right? He looks like Santa. They're all wearing the same outfits, like white one-piece outfits, no? Except for dad, who's wearing a big, giant, white muumuu. What? It's like a big, white skirt, like an old... Oh, my gosh. It's the craziest thing. And the little kids are performing. And this is the song that they sing. Ain't gonna pee my bed tonight. I'm going to pee-pee my bed tonight. Isolate. If you go to MikeyShow.com, the first thing you're going to see there is this video. You can click on it and watch the video. This child has hair past his butt in a ponytail. Is that a he? Is it a he or a she? Is it a he? I don't know. Is it a she?

2:36:33I think it's a she. It sounds like a he, though. It's a long ponytail. The whole family has long hair and ponytails, though. There's like nine kids. So, the dad looks like Father Time. Yes. The dad looks just like Father Time. The dancing is fantastic. Yeah, that's Chad Kroger. Chad Kroger. As a kid. Please go to MikeyShow.com. Oh, I love it. And watch it for yourself. Thank you. Huge hit in Germany, by the way. Not kidding. You should show that to Jake. He'll love it. He'll sing it forever. He'll lose his mind. In Germany, they've sold 4.5 million copies of their records. They're really, really wealthy. And they live in Cologne, Germany. This is what the web says about them.

2:37:49Success continued until they started to disagree on a professional basis. Of course. At the beginning of the year 2000, fan interests prompted a comeback with gigs in Germany in 2007. So... It was a high demand for them. Yeah. They needed their... What are they called? The Kelly family. The Kelly family. The Kelly family. That's one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. It's a peepee song from 1990. And you can view it at MikeyShow.com. So that kid in the video is probably like, I ain't gonna pee-pee my bed tonight. His wife is like, I hope not. Yeah. I'm not. You're 41. You shouldn't be peeping your bed tonight. The PB song is awesome. Let's see. Okay, let's do this. Let's do a little...

2:38:49You may think with songs you're super. Tom Tom Tunes. You recognize them right away. 5701949. Tom Tom Tunes. They're never quite the same. The lyrics are read by the girl. She can get directions anywhere in the world. Now she's gone first. Let's see. Okay, now, the idea here is that we have the Tom Tom Girl. Actual Tom Tom device. Hi, Tom Tom Girl. Hello, Mikey. How are you? I am doing adequate this day. Now, she answers in a very scientific way, whereas we would have more emotion. Right. She says adequate. You're doing adequate today. I can not say I'm doing well or badly. You're doing somewhere in between, which is adequately. And TomTomGirl is the GPS device out of Wood's car. I haven't gotten a lot of Axiom lately.

2:39:56Woods has a phone now that gives him directions. That's correct. It's true. Your phone does it for you now. Yeah, but I don't go a lot of places anymore. Kate knows his way around town, apparently. Home, ballpark. That's about it, right? Well, TomTomGirl is going to read the lyrics of some songs. And then it is your job to try to give us the title of the artist. You have 20 seconds to be able to do it. This is M1Rick from Escondido. You ready to play? Yes, I am. Jay, what's the prize that Rick can win? We have a pair of tickets to the advanced screening of the Foo Fighters documentary Back and Forth. Okay, cool. 20 seconds beginning now. I get up in the evening. I ain't got nothing to say. I come home in the morning. I go to bed feeling the same way. I ain't nothing but tired. Man, I'm just tired and bored with myself. Hey there, baby. I could use a little help. Can you give me title or artist to win M1 Rick? I don't know. Bruce Springsteen, Dancing in the Dark. Courtney Cox. Every time. I'm so bad at this game. Who, me?

2:41:25Me? You want to dance with me? Yeah. I like that. You don't like that, Woodsy? Never like Springsteen. I like two songs. I love the boss. I like this album. Born in the USA. It's the only one. Sienna, what year were you born? 85. It's right around the time that thing came out. The video is 84. I didn't know it. I've heard it now that you've played the clip. My goodness. Did you know that Courtney Cox was the first person to ever say period? On television? Yeah, in a Tampax commercial. That's a cool fact. Now I know. Because I like useless knowledge like that. I have a useless knowledge for you. Okay. Did you know that 65% of all $100 bills are used out of this country? No. No. They're not used in the United States. Wow. 65%. Huh. Most of them are used for drugs. Woods. Makes sense. Really? M1 Daniel from Escondido. Are you there? Really? Yeah. All right, Daniel. The Tom Tom girl is going to read you some lyrics to some music. All right. And you have to tell us what it is that she's, you know, title or artist to win. Are you ready? I'm ready. 20 seconds starting now.

2:42:49Cruising down 8th Street off-white Lexus, driving so slow, but BK is from Texas. Me, I'm out that bedstoy, home of that boy Biggie. Now I live on Billboard, and I brought my boys with me. Say what up to Tata, still sipping my E-ta-E's. Daniel, title or artist for the win? Eminem. Jay-Z. Yeah. It's a good song. Yeah. TomTom Girl, how does that go?

2:44:03Yeah, yeah. That's different than the way he says it, I think. M1 Matt from PB. Yeah. Let's do this. I'm feeling very confident in Matt. No, no, it's not confidence, trust me. No. You're going to get it. I would like to give away at least one prize today. What have we got? Anarchy or Angel sunglasses? Maybe a four pack of tickets for a chicken dinner? The Lincoln lawyer ticket? What have we got today? Tom Tom, lady. We got some good stuff. Don't you worry about it. Surely we have a Nike show t-shirt we can give to somebody. Oh my gosh. Jay, what is the prize for today? Piece of fried chicken. Just a piece. Just a piece. One piece of fried chicken. You gotta come over and pick it up. I drove here from Chula Vista. Here to give my free chicken meal. No, sorry, it's just a leg. It's a leg. Oh, actually, I already got started on it. I guess you can have the rest. Oh, my God.

2:45:31All right, you got 20 seconds to identify title or artist, Matt. Here we go. You don't need diamond rings or 18 carat gold. Fancy cars that go very fast. You know they never last. No, no. What you need is a big strong hand to lift you to your higher ground. Make you feel like a queen on a throne. Make him love you till you cannot come down. Title or artist for the win, Matt. Oh, man. Jesus, I have no idea. Madonna, express yourself. Amazing. He may have thought it was the Lady Gaga song. Yeah. Born this way. They're very similar. They are. Well, identical. Or similar, as Jay would say. Similar. Exactly. They're similar. Exactly. Exactly. Not a single piece of chicken to give away today.

2:46:42Passive aggressive Tom Tom. Man. Chris Rock is one of the funniest men in the world, in my opinion. And he was talking about Chris Brown. I like Good Morning America, but I'm mad you gave me the Chris Brown dressing room. It's a little windy in there. I'm freezing. I was wondering how long it was going to take. And you've kept your shirt on? I kept my shirt on. So far, at least. It's freezing. It's freezing in there. We tried to tape it up. Hit a window, not a woman. That's progress, damn it. Wow. Yeah, I said it. And he's not apologizing. That's progress. That's progress. He hit a window, not a woman. That's progress. I mean, I gotta agree with him. Fair enough. Chris Rock says some of the craziest things ever. He said...

2:47:45about OJ Simpson. Listen, I'm not saying what he did was right. I'm just saying I understand. That's the greatest. That was great. Somebody driving around in your car with your wife. With your wife. In your house. In your house. I ain't saying what he did was right. I'm just saying. I understand. Oh, my God. It's freaking brilliant. I have a question for you. I might have asked you this in the air before. Why doesn't he make good movies? Ever. He was just on CBS Sunday morning. And it was incredible, dude. He's now on Broadway, right? And he goes, I didn't know how hard acting was until I started doing this. I wish I could buy back all my movies. He goes, I apologize, America. I didn't know what I was doing. Yeah. He said that he didn't know how to act. He didn't know how to pick movies. And that now that he's acting on Broadway, he's like learning that there's actually really something to it. Sure. But it was also picking a lot of terrible ideas. He was, CB4 was pretty funny he was in. But even that was a little over the top. But after that, I was like, oh, wow. Nothing. I don't know any movies he's in. Apparently.

2:49:06I mixed him up with, what was that? Chris Tucker last time. I thought he was in the movie. Well, let me tell you. His stand-up. It's the best. They were showing, even on CBS Sunday Morning, they were showing clips of his stand-up. And he goes, don't tell me that it ain't that bad being black in America. There's white men in this room right now wouldn't trade places with me. And I'm rich. His humor is really smart. It's smart. Very smart. But it's not Dennis Miller smart to where you listen to it and go, eh? You know, it's just cutting. It's got brilliance. It's got brilliance in it. Yeah, he's a brilliant stand-up comedian. I'd love to go see him. This is him defending Charlie Sheen. Now, since you're here on Morning TV, you've got to do the obligatory weigh-in on Charlie Sheen. Charlie Sheen? Hey, man, I like Charlie Sheen. No, no, no. Winning.

2:50:04Charlie Sheen's amazing. You cannot be that talented. You cannot last that long without having talent. Right? But he's not doing so well at stand-up here. Yeah, yeah, but he's not trying to impress Donald Trump either. You know what I mean? He's not hooping on, hey, man, stand-up's hard. I heard last night went a lot better. A little better. It did go better in Chicago. They stayed. They gave him an ovation. I've had bad nights. I've been booed in Detroit. Have you been to Detroit? Not lately. The president needs to send troops to Detroit. Talk about civil unrest. Conan had a brilliant line about Charlie Sheen bombing in Detroit. I mean, he did terrible. They booed him off the stage. And Conan O'Brien had a pretty good line about it. Lovely show. Speaking of shows, Charlie Sheen's big tour started this weekend. Did you all follow this? It's an incredible story. Yeah, it's been reported that during Charlie Sheen's live show in Detroit, hundreds of people walked out of the theater. I was thinking about it. You know your show's in trouble when people would rather take their chances on the streets of Detroit. And true. Let's see.

2:51:34We got new releases coming up in just a bit. Police are getting a bunch of calls from children's pool, you know, because it's popping season. Yes, for the seals. And yahoos will go over the barricades. They have ropes set up. This is the children's pool in La Jolla, which has been, I mean, years and years battling. Is it a beach for the seals or is it a beach for humans? Because it's called the children's pool. There was a wall built to protect kids from, you know, huge waves hitting them. And seals have taken over. And apparently this pupping season, they've received the police. 48 calls about people going over the ropes that are set up. And usually there aren't very many calls, but this year. You're either that guy. Or you're not that guy. Right. I am not a step over the barricade guy. Oh. Oh, I'm not. Well, I'm more of a step over the barricade guy. I'm the guy that doesn't pick up the phone and call about stuff like that. It's not illegal to go over the rope. It's just illegal to harass the seal. Why is the rope there? It's there as a suggestion to be like. What?

2:52:41Yeah. It doesn't say keep out. It's not illegal to cross the rope. It's illegal to taunt the seals. Yes. The reason people are calling the police to complain is because they say the seals are getting scared. Oh, then I would call on that. I would call on that. Wait, wait, wait, wait. They're getting scared because people are going past the point they're supposed to go. You don't have to taunt them. If you go past that barricade, you're not supposed to go past that barricade. You're really not supposed to, but there's a group of people called the Frisbee Boys. who are saying that they're allowed to, like, go play Frisbee. They're allowed to use the beach as any other beach because it's a public beach, and they should be able to use it how it was intended. So they're kind of, like, towing the line. As a habitat for animals? Yeah, but they're towing the line being, like, the seals shouldn't be here. So they're doing things like, you know. One of the guys, I read an article yesterday, he actually got cited $500 for, like, throwing a football. I think his son threw the football and he ran after it. And all these seals ran away and went into the water. And they said that that was taunting him. The seals went in the water. They went in the water? Why do you think we have so many great white sharks coming over there? Oh, gee, I wonder. You're putting, you know, having those seals there are putting children in more danger. But you can't, you can't.

2:53:54You can't run seals out of the beach and the water. You can't rationalize with seals and tell seals to leave. They're going to be there. You guys shouldn't be there. You can do things that will get rid of them. Yeah, if there's humans on the beach, they're not going to just come and lie out like they are now. Then what happens when someone tries to get rid of them and runs out at one of them and then the seal strikes back? Then the seal gets killed because some yahoo decided to go strike. One of the frisbee boys. Oh, my God. You know, you don't have to convince me. If there's a rope up, I say stay out. I would stay out. I mean, if there's a rope up. Well, let's just make it permanent then where you can't go on the beach at all. Let's just give this big barricade up. All the beaches. All the beaches. Let's give all the beaches. They're not at all the beaches. But they may want to be. But they're not. The one by your house now. We should just kill them. We kept them out for that long. Let's just shoot them. Seal burgers would be a big seller up there. Woods, they don't want to go on every beach. They want to go there. They want to go there. Because they're allowed there. I say let them there. They're sealed. Because the wall has been put up, so it's protecting. They're going there to protect their babies from getting hit by waves. But it's called the Children's Pool. It was built for children, which is where I went to the beach when I was little, and now I can't go there anymore with my daughter. So it's lame. Great.

2:55:03Man, it's got about a billion other beaches. Miles and miles and miles of coasts. It doesn't matter because the wall was built to protect human children. But we can't control what happened. But you can't control nature. You can't because they weren't there for a long time. So take the wall down. When they take over a boat dock, seals have been known to go up on boat docks and they take over. Should we just let them have it? Yeah. Seals were there before the wall was there. They came back. No, they weren't. Yes, they were. They weren't. And the reason that they weren't there is because they... The city of La Jolla built that cove. Yes, but they used to go there even before the wall was put there. And then now that the wall is there, it's a clear, I mean, it's cut out as a cove. So it was a natural place for the seals to go. When the wall went up, then they came in droves because it's like, it's a protected little area. So take the wall down and see what happens. Seals were always there. When I was little and going on that beach, you would see that there were seals in the water. But farther out, I would swim. There's Garibaldi fish all out there. I mean, it was never an issue. Then, you know, people that would see the seals would say, you know, activists. And they wanted the seals to have the beach because we do have other beaches. And the seals liked that area.

2:56:17I'm sorry. I just think it was built for children. It's called Children's Pool. That's why the wall was there. But how can you be an animal lover and want the seals to leave? Because I care about my kids. Because it's a human beach. I'd rather have my kids there than seals. Children? What? But the seals are there. How are you going to drive them out? Seals are meant to live and survive in the water. Yeah, but they're pupping. Why do they need the shelter of a wall? They can't pup underneath the water. Well, they can pup on the rocks. They pup all over the places. Well, how did they survive in the other places? Question. If we didn't let them in there, would they not be able to pup? They would have to find another place to go, which we've kind of overrun the entire coast with houses and shops. You should get them all together and talk to them. Other man-made things. So, do you think that they would not pup? Their population would probably get smaller, in my opinion, because they wouldn't have as many places to go. It's an age-old debate. It's very personal to me, like I said, because that was a beach I actually grew up on, and now I can't go to with my kids, so it bothers me. Didn't they build the wall, and then they started coming? No, the wall's been there for a long time. The wall's been there since, like, I think it was donated in, like, the 30s by the Scripps family. But it was built, the children's pool, to keep human children safe. I get it. It's just, you can rationalize with children, you can't rationalize with seals. That's the problem. Yeah, but you get rid of the seals. Yeah, you can't shoot them. They weren't there.

2:57:39If people play on the sand, they'll go away. How was I able to go to that beach then if they wouldn't leave? How was I able to go there? Only reason they're there right now is because we put up that rope to keep people out. But if we played on the beach, they wouldn't come there. That's right. They'd go somewhere else. Monsters. We got so much stuff to go over. I want to know about the CEO of Sony that revealed something secret. About iPhone 5. Yes, you do. I want to know real bad. Oh, wow. Pop it in. Turn it on. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949MIKEY at g.com. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. The weather's getting warmer, and that means it's time to start working on your yard.

2:58:45Right now at O'Reilly Cragen Auto Parts, you can pick up a SuperStart lawn and garden battery starting at $19.99. SuperStart batteries are built extra tough with unbeatable vibration resistance. And with a 12-month limited warranty, you can count on SuperStart batteries to start your riding more or tractor time and time again. Springtime means yard work and lots of it. So stop by your local O'Reilly Cragen Auto Parts today for a dependable, hard-working SuperStart lawn and garden battery starting at $19.99. SuperStart lawn and garden batteries available exclusively at O'Reilly Cragen Auto Parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR. Better parts, better prices, every day. What makes a house a home? The first steps. Such a big boy. The first downs. Not in the house. The birthdays... And barbecues. Okay, who wants a burger? The comfort of knowing you've got a mortgage that's easy to live with from a bank you can count on, U.S. Bank. That sounds great, honey. U.S. Bank takes the time to guide you through the mortgage process so you can be sure you're making the right move. Hi, is Katie here? No, she moved. Put the strength of one of America's leading mortgage lenders to work for you.

3:00:14Visit any U.S. Bank branch, usbank.com, or call 888-831-7524. All of us, serving you. U.S. Bank. Mortgage loans subject to credit approval. Interest rates and program terms are subject to change without notice. Mortgage loans offered to U.S. Bank National Association, ND. Equal housing lender, member FDIC. At CarMax, we understand that honesty is the cornerstone of providing great customer service. However, we also understand that there are times when you're better off not being honest. For instance, when your wife asks you how you like her new purple dress, you might want to refrain from saying it makes her look like an eggplant. And when your boss asks you why you were late, there's no need to tell him you spent an extra long time in bed contemplating your cosmic insignificance. Rather say, traffic was a bear. And when your rebellious teenage son defiantly asks if you ever got into trouble, deflect his question with another question like, want to get some pizza? However, at CarMax, when a customer asks us to appraise their car, we know we have to be as straightforward and honest as possible. Just bring your car in, get it appraised by one of our buyers, and within 30 minutes you'll have an offer. Plus, you can take up to 7 days to think about it or walk away with payment in hand. Why so fair and hassle-free? It's just the right thing to do. CarMax. The way car buying should be. What does stormwater pollution look like?

3:01:37Well, most of the time we can't see it. In fact, it takes very little pollution to close a beach. So, for purposes of illustration, let's say stormwater pollution looks like a rubber ducky. And since this is radio, let's say it also sounds like a rubber ducky. Now imagine one little duck flowing down a storm drain, where it joins another little duck, and another, and 12 more, and 10 million more, flowing from storm drains all over San Diego, untreated to our beaches and bays. Now that's quite a sight. The only problem is stormwater pollution is not rubber duckies. It's trash, oil, pet waste, and cigarette butts. And we have the power to make it stop. Clean water means quality of life for all San Diegans. Stop stormwater pollution. Think blue. For more information, call 619-235-1000 or log on to thinkbluesd.org. Because we all live downstream. Hey, it's Mikey for AIS and a couple of things. One, right now gas prices are higher than they have ever been. And that means that there's a lot of things that you need to be saving money on so that you could be paying.

3:02:45for the gas prices that we're paying for right now. Another deal is that there's rain that's causing accidents, and you really need to save on your auto insurance. Listen to this real AIS customer. My 18-year-old kid, he got his license a little late. He right away got a little fender bender. I've been with one of the big insurance companies for quite some time, always had good rates. And all of a sudden, I'm like redheaded stepchild, and they wanted to raise my rates, and they were going to raise my rates to $2,000 every six months. And how much are you paying with AIS? $1,400 every six months. I love that. So I'm saving $1,400 a year. There you have it. You could be saving money just like that guy. 1-800-777-4247. That's 1-800-777-4AIS. Or go online, AISinsurance.com. From Universal Pictures and the director of Pineapple Express. Come, brother. This is the first stop on your first quest. Delicious. This Friday. There's a naked woman standing behind you. And she might be a trap. Suck out the venom. I can't suck my own venom. Yes, you can. I'll help you. Suck it. Suck your venom. Suck it. Danny McBride. James Franco. Natalie Portman. Care for another bite of some meat? I didn't want that touching me. Your Highness. Directed by David Gordon Green. Rated R. Under 17. Not admitted without Paris. Starts Friday. To promote Carl's Jr.'s new charbroiled turkey burgers, we hired Miss Turkey. But she speaks Turkish, so we hired a forklift operator to read her role. I may be a pageant queen, but I still enjoy the simple things in life like any other girl. Sand between my toes.

3:04:18A man's strong embrace and ping pong. The new charbroiled turkey burgers from Carl's Jr. Original guacamole or teriyaki. Designed with men's health to be under 500 calories. And that's just the way it is. For a limited time at participating restaurants, men's health is a registered trademark of Rodale, Inc. This report, it's brought to you by Shell. All three grades of Shell gasoline contain their nitrogen-enriched cleaning system to protect critical engine parts against performance-robbing gunk. Try Shell nitrogen-enriched gasoline today. Well, looks like we get some backup here at Fletcher Parkway at the 67 due to an earlier accident. The 5 southbound between La Jolla Colony Drive and Delmar Heights Road, that's slow. It's on and off slowing. On the 805 northbound between Balboa Avenue, we're also seeing a backup. This report also brought to you by Subway. Meet Lunchtime's newest superhero, the $5 super sub combo. It's a hearty, satisfying meal for just $5. Looks like Subway Restaurant saves the day again. Subway, eat fresh. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Maybe I just put on some boat shoes and... Chardonnay. Grab a Chardonnay. Is your sailboat still in the marina? Yeah, it is. We got to get it out. It's been winterized, right? We got to get it de-winterized and let's take it out today. I just got it winterized, but the problem is that I just read the weather report and there might be some rain. Might be a squall. Might be a squall. Plus, my girlfriend and I are going out to dinner tonight, so I couldn't make it. Oh, okay. Can I borrow it? My boat? Your sailboat.

3:06:16No. No, my girlfriend and I are going to be on it. Oh, you're going to be on it. I thought you were going out to dinner. I'm going to propose to her. On the boat? Yes. That's badass. On the boat. Your girlfriend? Girlfriend? Yeah. Yeah, my girlfriend, Melissa. Girl that's a friend? No, no, no. She's my girlfriend. We're in love and we're going to get married. Hopefully, if she says yes. I mean, I hope she says yes. And then are you going to consummate? Well, that's what that means. That's what people do. You should put on Robbie Dupree when you're on the boat. I will probably put on a little Robbie Dupree. I just got back from L.L. Bean and I got us the cutest sweaters. Sorry, I thought you said cutest. I did. And you're a girlfriend. If I were being more specific, super cute. Oh, wow. Awesome sauce? Who said lame sauce the other day? I retweeted it. Oh, John Foreman. Thank you. Doesn't make it okay. Makes it completely okay. Steve McQueen said it. Ryan Adams. Ryan Adams likes Nickelback. He did like an album. Doesn't make Nickelback good, though. It kind of did to me. Like, when he wrote it, I go, huh? All right. Guess Nickelback's okay. Ryan Adams thinks it's okay. Because I'm in on him. I'm an M1. You should be an M1. An M1 is a Mikey Show fanatic. Okay? If you are an M1,

3:07:49You will deliberately stab yourself with a fry in the mouth just so that you can experience what I've experienced. You will chew Copenhagen Long Cut religiously. Just to be like Woodsy. You will celebrate Nickelback's entire catalog to be like Mikey. You will do a fake bit where you have wheatgrass juice every day and gain 50 pounds. You will eat Jamba Juice oatmeal because we do every one. True. You will go into Jay's studio and fart really bad. Like I just did. And M1 drops it like it's hot. Drops it like it's hot. Really dumb. M1 gets jiggy with it. And M1 listens to Stairway to Heaven. Yeah. Yes. And M1 likes the Almond Brothers. Almond. The Almond Brothers. We were at my house on Friday night and Jay referred to them as the Almond Brothers. I don't even know. Sometimes you feel like a nut. Except they're not called the Almond Brothers. What is it? It's Almond. A-L-L-M-A-N. I would have said Almond too. I don't know. There you go. Thank you. Well, Jay actually said Almond. And Jay actually babysat the Almond Brothers. So he should know. Jay was there when the first Almond ever appeared on a tree. He was there. He witnessed the first Almond. Breathtaking.

3:09:34Brilliant. New releases. We have new releases for you. And what's new in record stores today? And by the way, thank you to M1 Jennifer who brought in a regional delight. She's from Baltimore. She brought in something called Black Bottoms. And they're really good. They're like a muffin. And it's like chocolate cake. And it's got this cream cheese thing. It's really good. For all you nosy Parkers out there, I did not have one, so feast on that. There you go. Nosy Parkers. If it woods, I have one for us. And Mikey. Mikey. Did you stab yourself in the mouth with one? Clown. Be nice to us. Yeah. Just love us. Just cut it out. God. Go ahead with us. Not much out today, pal, to be honest with you. We were talking about this this morning. It's a pretty slow day in the old new release world. The new Daft Punk is out. That's the Tron soundtrack. Tron Legacy Reconfigured. I do not have them. Let's do this. I can just do Daft Punk for you. See? I want to imitate you. Sing the rest of it. It's definitely something you can meditate to. Yeah.

3:11:10I like it. Nap music. Yes, nap music. Very soothing. I think it would be cool in a movie. Yeah, it was. It was in Tron. Tron. Ah. There you go. Feast. The new The Kills is out. Blood Pressures. I'd go running to this. I'd get on a sailboat. Yeah. I'd get a massage, I think. I'd make love. Please don't demonstrate. Disgusting. Samba? Is that a samba? I was making love. Meringue. Like Cheryl Burke was your partner. I don't know what that means. She's on Dancing with the Stars. I like girls and sports. And new releases. That's it for music. On DVD today, I Love You, Philip Morris with Jim Carrey, Ewan McGregor. Casino Jack, Kevin Spacey. Fabulous. Little Fockers is out today.

3:12:22The third installment of the Meet the Parents. Is that even in theaters? Yeah, I was in there for like four or five days. Wow. I want to watch it. Tron Legacy is a day. Greetings. Fantastic. Nerds. The movie comes out when the soundtrack comes out, I guess. There you go. There you go. There's your new releases. It's opening day. Yeah, go Padres. Go Pods. Get some. Wish I was going, man. I know. Gosh darn. Got to wait for my cable. Sold out. Sold out. Got to wait for my cable. It sucks. Do you have to wait for your cable? I wait for my cable. Cable guy's coming. Between one and three. What's up with your TV? No cable. Gotta wait for it. No internet. Are you going to be watching, like, as soon as you get off here, are you going to be able to go home and watch, like, Sopranos or something? I'm going to go to the gym, and then I'm going to go to the grocery store, and then I'm going to go wait for my cable. Why couldn't you just watch Sopranos right now? Because I'm at work. He's trying to get more out of he had to wait for his cable. Because I'm going to wait for my cable.

3:13:26I get where you're going there, kid. Woodsy, do you want to reveal L.O.B.'s story that she was telling us off the... I'm going to let L.O.B. do it. Because if I do it, and if I have you do it... She'll think we're monsters? Yeah. Which one? The story that you were telling us about the friend. The male friend. Oh. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's weird. It's weird, and I put more of the blame on my female friend than my male friend. I don't even know. That's really weird. Yeah. I don't know. I know that guy as an offshoot of knowing her. So, basically, my friend is married. My girlfriend is married. And her husband travels a lot. And when her husband goes out of town, she has, like, a particular go-to guy friend that will come over. Like, she'll make dinner sometimes. They'll watch movies sometimes. Straight. Yeah. Straight man. He's straight. Yeah. He's good looking. She's good looking. Is he single?

3:14:34Yeah. They were friends before she even got into the relationship that she's in with her husband now. They've been friends for a while. But still, it's just like the go-to friends. I was asking you guys, if you were a guy, wouldn't you be... If you were her husband... They've made out. No, not necessarily. They've made out. Not necessarily. We know men. They've made out. And we know women. I love it. Yeah, this would be more about women. She swears that she's like couldn't even look at him that way. She's like, you know, he's just like a best friend. I have guys that are like that that are like I can admit they're good looking guys, but they're just my friends and I could never look at them like like all you guys couldn't look at him that way. Really? But what? You couldn't. What? All girls and all guys can if they're attracted. And they're drunk. And they're drunk. Or if they're drunk. Has her husband ever met him before? Yeah. Plenty of times. Now, does a single guy come over when hubby is there to have dinner and watch movies? Not really. Oh, my God. He'll go to, like, group things. Right, big groups. That people are at. That's so weird. And probably doesn't talk to him very much. No, and I get the impression, because I know the guy from her, I get the impression that guy...

3:15:47Single guy has a thing for girls. Of course he does. He's waiting for an opening. He's a male. He is the shoulder to cry on. Yeah. And I've asked her, I'm like, so, I'm being really careful. Your husband doesn't care when he comes over? She's like, no, no, no, he's fine. What? But it's like the go-to guy. Can I tell you what that guy is like? I want to draw an illustration for you. Which one? Husband or single? Single. I want you to picture a desert. It's hot. It's like 110 degrees in the desert. Dry. And there is a person who's out there in the desert who's on this water. Their mouth is so much. And their lips fall down in the desert. And way up in the sky you hear circling. Yeah. So that it can swoop down and devour.

3:17:05That single guy. That's how I feel. He is swooping around the body, just waiting. He's watching, and the person's going... That's how I feel. She says it's laughable. She's like, no, you don't understand. I bet he does like her, but I don't think she likes him because she wouldn't have married this guy if she was into this guy. Probably not. I don't think she's into him, but I do think she's into his attention. Yeah, of course. Totally. And she says her husband's completely fine with it and like laughs at the fact that he would even care. I'm like, uh, if I were your husband, I'd care. And the husband is not giving her. Well, I was going to say the husband isn't giving her enough to fill her tank. But I then didn't say that because I realized that there are some women that no matter how much you fill their tank, they are such attention desires. They need constant. Not just constant, but just vast. Pretty much constant. You can't fill it. You can't fill it. Big tanks. There's pretty much girls that need constant. It can't be filled. It will never be. It'll always be three quarters of the way. Yeah. No matter how much. Maybe eight of those guys. Yeah. I feel so bad for her husband. I'm just thinking, oh my gosh, if I was him, I would be losing my mind. Yeah. He knew it when he married her. Does she have big tanks? Holy smoke.

3:18:42I was working to get that one. She's gorgeous. She is gorgeous. Of course. All around. They always are. All around. Listen, girl can't pull that off unless she's gorgeous. Yeah. And her husband's a sharp cat. In my opinion, sharper than single guy. But still. And I'm like, okay, maybe he's just confident that he's like, don't worry about it. I have a, I have, they're friends of mine. But what gets me is the dinner and a movie. Now, if I was out of town and I have a few friends that I wouldn't mind. stopping by the house, checking on things, making sure everybody's good, maybe helping out with something. But staying for dinner and a movie is a little odd. I trust my wife around all my male friends, and I trust the majority of my male friends. But it's not his male friend. It's her male friend. You know what I'm saying? I'm being honest with you. Yeah. You shouldn't... Well, I don't drink anymore. Right. Okay? If there is alcohol involved... Oh, yeah. Your inhibitions...

3:19:46go out the window. They do. Your inhibitions go out the window. Yeah. Big time. I had a friend tell me one time that an ex-girlfriend of mine came over and he just, he wanted to let me know that an ex-girlfriend of mine had gone over to his house and that they had ended up in his room sitting on his bed and that he knew, because they had both been drinking, he knew Where that could have gone. And he had her leave. What I believe is. He had sexual intercourse with her. 100%. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Agreed. Yes. And the reason that I believe that. Is because there was alcohol involved. He felt guilty. Didn't want me to find out through her. And said that it. Nothing even happened.

3:20:50After the intercourse is when they got their story straight as to what they were going to tell you. What will we say to Mike later? If this ever comes out, we have to have our story straight. Agreed. Gosh, why do people cheat? Well, it wasn't cheating. I was not with her anymore. But that's bro code. That's bro code. Bro code. Well, in this case, nobody's cheating. That we know. And we don't think so. Now, the interesting part to me is the woman thinks, oh, he's like a brother. I could never. Do you know how many girls that I, were like my sisters in college that I ended up hooking up with at some point? Who's the chick dating Justin Bieber? Selena Gomez. Selena Gomez says last year on the Ellen show, oh my gosh, he's like my brother. Really? Yeah, look at him now. What do you mean? You guys are like our brothers. Yeah, but we work together. And we're all married. Hey, guess what? It doesn't matter. If somebody is single and somebody is single, who knows what will happen? It's true. Especially when alcohol is involved. Police. Every time I hear now, oh my gosh, he's like my brother. I almost instantly think, oh my gosh, you want to make out with him? You want to have sex with him?

3:22:12I wouldn't even have thought it until I heard you say the words, he's like my brother. Now I know. Which is code for, I want him so. I gotta have him. I fantasize about him. I gotta have him. I'm gonna have him. I'll have him. Oh, he'll be mine. Yeah. He'll be mine. I will be able to describe him in detail. You're right in some instances, but not all. 97.7% of the time. He's like a brother. Like a, really? Like a brother that you're going to treat like a husband. He is taking the place of her husband when her husband is out of town. And that's weird. It's extraordinarily weird. If I was gone for a couple weeks and you or Jay. Don't worry. I shouldn't. I shouldn't. What? I shouldn't be going and hanging out with Jamie. Not for dinner and a movie, but if you looked in on her, I'd appreciate it. What does that mean? Hey, how you doing? You need anything? I'll pick up your groceries for you. I can do that on the phone. Fair enough. If she's capable of getting her own groceries for you. I don't know. I'm saying she's an 85-year-old woman and you're checking in on her. You're picking up her groceries for her. When you are out of town, I shouldn't be calling, texting, or coming over to your wife's house. Wouldn't bother. That you know about. I shouldn't be. I know you shouldn't, and it's not smart.

3:23:30Like, specifically asked you to do so. Right. Yes. It's okay for her to say, hey, something weird happened over here. Will you come take a look? Yeah, it's a good point. That's fine. It's a weird thing. Yeah, it's a weird thing. You don't go hang out with a bro's wife or girlfriend if she's good looking. That's just not good wisdom. It's not wise, dude. You keep yourself out of those situations by not doing stuff like that. Yeah. Well, they're not bros. They're not bros. They're friends because of her. That's even worse. Exactly. That's a bad situation. M1 Tony is on the line from La Costa. Hey, I got a question for you guys. I was wondering if perhaps that the husband doesn't care so much because maybe he's pulling around on the side. Got a little taste on the side. You're probably right. That's awful. I didn't think of that. I thought of it. I thought of it. Yeah, I thought of it. So he's like, you know what? You do whatever you want. These are my friends you guys are talking about. Maybe that's not true. You say he's a sharp guy, sharper than the other guy. He's on the road a lot. Maybe he's not treating himself. Maybe he's making it right somewhere else. Oh, boy. Not making it right. Making it wrong. You know what I mean. Get a Be Different bracelet. That will help. It really will. Thank you for the call. Go to BeDifferentPact.org. It's a bracelet. It's free.

3:24:57You put it on your wrist and it reminds you, I got a wife. Yeah, don't be a D. Don't be a jerk. This is Uncle Victor for... Don't cheat on your wife when you're out of town. When you're out of town and you're visiting some place, don't be having sex with other women. Be a good boy. Don't... Whenever you're out of town... Think about making love with your wife. Keep it in your pants. And whenever you're at the bar, don't buy drinks for anybody. Drink seltzer water. Seltzer. Seltzer. Listen to Taylor Swift's song. They say it's striking a chord with Americans. Maybe the stupidest song I've ever heard. Bite your tongue. We'll break it down. Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I get along better with women than I do with men. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. Sienna. I'm an expert golfer, actually. I bet. And Jay. If it's broken, there's a 99% chance that I can fix it. On FM 94.9. That stuff's hooey. Screw it loose to go. That was awesome.

3:26:41your chance to test ride all the pavement-pounding 2011 street bikes from Kawasaki. Like the all-new Ninja 1000, the bike's Sport Rider magazine set is in a league of its own. The all-new Vulcan 1700 Vaquero, the bike that is about as good as it gets, according to Motorcyclist magazine. Plus the redesigned Ninja ZX-10R, the Z1000, and the rest of the award-winning line of the Kawasaki street bikes. Go to Kawasaki.com slash ticket to find out how you can ride the Kawasaki street bike of your choice. Saturday, April 9th and Sunday, April 10th from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Scottish Rite Event Center, 1895 Camino Del Rio South in San Diego. Don't miss out. Head to the Scottish Rite Event Center Saturday, April 9th and Sunday, April 10th. Go to Kawasaki.com slash ticket for more information. Kawasaki. Let the good times roll. For years now, you've been hearing testimonial reviews about Ovation Cell Therapy and how Ovation can help grow your hair thicker, stronger, and longer. Repair dry, brittle, damaged hair from over-processing and heat styling. Dramatically reduce hair loss and breakage due to stress or harsh medicines. Restore your hair's healthy shine and appearance. These testimonials are from real people with the same hair growth issues you have. And they love to share their stories. I don't normally write reviews on products. Who has the time?

3:28:02But Ovation Cell Therapy is an exception. I've had a lot of bleaching and dyeing treatments over the years, so it's been important to use quality products. With Ovation Cell Therapy, the breakage caused by these treatments has completely stopped. My hair is stronger, shinier, and has more volume. I honestly wouldn't be without Ovation. It's that amazing. For healthier, shinier, more manageable hair. Log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM 94.9 at checkout for a special discount. That's OvationHair.com and enter FM 94.9 at checkout. This is the sound of Jim at a ball game realizing he forgot to stop by the bank. Oh, I promised my wife I'd deposit these checks. This is the sound of Charles, a Chase banking customer at the same game remembering the same thing. Oh, I totally forgot to deposit these checks. Jim. Ugh, now I gotta leave the game early. I didn't even get a hot dog. Charles. I'll just use Chase Quick Deposit and deposit my checks from right here. With Chase Quick Deposit, you can deposit checks safely and securely from anywhere, including Section 100, Row 5, C12. Simply take a picture of the front and back of your check with Chase Quick Deposit on your smartphone. Hit send, and you're done. Now that's a step forward. This is the sound of Jim trying to leave early so he can deposit his checks. Excuse me. Pardon me. Hey! Sorry, pal. This is the sound of Charles after catching a fly ball and depositing his three checks.

3:29:16Chase Quick Deposit. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Chase Quick Deposit is now available for select smartphones. Enroll in Chase online and download Chase mobile app. Subject to eligibility, deposit subject to verification. Not available for media withdrawal. Limits, terms, and conditions apply. Message and data rates from your service provider may apply. See chase.com slash quick deposit for details and eligible smartphones. JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member of TIC. Hannah's father trained her to be an assassin. A doctor to die. Her government denied her existence. Take a look at this kid's blood sample. Can't be right. And her target is the one woman who holds the key to her past. We need to keep this contained, gentlemen. Did she turn out as you hoped? Better. Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, and Cate Blanchett. Sometimes children are bad people, too. Hannah. Come and find me. Directed by Joe Wright. Original score by the Chemical Brothers. Rated PG-13. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Hannah. Starts Friday. In coastal Mexico, the three most popular sounds are the surf coming in, music flowing out, and the mouth-watering sizzle of shrimp on the grill. Right now at Rubio's, the grill is fired up and the shrimp are on. And as soon as they reach your taste buds, the Baja Beach scene is sure to come to mind. Rubio's Grilled Mesquite Shrimp Burrito features grilled shrimp, seasoned to perfection with garlic and mesquite spices, then complemented by creamy chipotle sauce. It's the shrimp burrito with the huge flavor. Catch it now only at Rubio's. At Navy Federal, people ask us how we keep our mortgage rates so exceptionally low. I can tell you in about two seconds.

3:30:39We're member-owned and not-for-profit, so we focus on serving our members and keeping our rates low. Okay, that actually took 14 seconds, but this commercial is 30 seconds, so let me tell you quickly to go to NavyFederal.org and use the mortgage calculator tool to see what you can save. I also have time to say we serve all branches of the military and the DOD. Navy Federal. We serve where you serve. And we're timely. Equal housing lender. Are you looking for tickets? Well, for a second year in a row, FM 94.9 and Honest Tea are teaming up to giveaway tickets to Coachella. Stay tuned for details about upcoming random acts of kindness and your chance to win tickets to Coachella on FM 94.9 and Honest Tea. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Oh, I want to go to battle. Lauren. I've got strawberry seeds in my teeth. Weird. Woods. I'm a mess today. I'm an absolute 100%. Zienna. There's nothing wrong with Match.com. And Jake. Yeah, I killed a snake. I didn't want to, but he gave me no choice. On FM 94.9. Zienna just said, there's nothing wrong with Match.com on that rejoin. And not only is there nothing wrong with Match.com, but our friends, Kimbra and David, are now on the eHarmony website. That's so great. That is cool. Because that's how they met. That's how they met. Yeah, they're on their...

3:32:09Because they got married. I think a lot of people meet that way now. E-Harmony, Match. Mm-hmm. Craigslist. That one seems stranger to me. MySpace. Yeah, you know, I met my wife on Craigslist. Federica Rimmel. Her name's Federica Rimmel. About 14. About a size 14, yeah. She's a great big fat person. Yeah, but I can look past it. Oh, wait. Went to the house. Said, uh, you're really pretty. Don't you like a moth? You're so beautiful. That's the creepiest voice. So anyway. That character, this is a little known fact. The character in that movie was based on Jay Isbell. That is a little known. Not that many people know that. Buffalo Bill. Yeah, Buffalo Bill was actually based on Jay. Isbell. Isbell. I can make a tent out of your skin. Fair enough. Wow.

3:33:18That's a true story. You could sail a boat with my belly. There's no question. Wow. Oh, my God. I can do it, too. I can sew. Not for long. I'll slice you up. Skin you, Tanya. Sail you. Sail you. Build a teepee. Jasper, made you a new boat for Christmas. Making it out of woods. It's called the Titanic. Oh, no. Cuts right to the core, doesn't it? Oh, my God. Right to the boat. Easy, Propecia. I got too much testosterone. I feel bad for him when he wants to get you. He's trying to get you. And he's like, really? Well, you know what? So Taylor Swift.

3:34:09Yes. It has a new single out and it's called Mean. This is the third single from her Speak Now CD and it's called Mean and she wrote it about she got a bad review and... It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Well, people, you know, people are saying bad stuff about her and this is about how it made her feel. Okay. We can all relate. Now. Especially today. Especially today. I love Taylor Swift. I'll say it. I love her too. Oh, yeah. I like her music. Is that all? I think she's pretty. But I do like her music. Me too. I think it's catchy. Yeah. I think it's good. And she plays her own instruments. I like it. Mean is dumb. Okay. Let's hear it. With your voice like nails on a chalkboard calling me out when I'm wounded. You picking on the weaker man. Oh, what you don't know. Nothing wrong with that whatsoever. Yeah. Nothing. I don't see how it's much different than the stuff she already puts out. Yeah. It's like, yeah, the same thing. I like it. I guess it was so.

3:35:50It didn't seem as clever as some of her other music is kind of clever. I love Taylor Swift's music. I do. But her being like, I'm innocent. That whole thing. She's mean sometimes. And you're picking on me. She's mean sometimes too. And didn't you know better? Don't you think 19 is too young to be messed with? You dated John Mayer. You should have known. Yeah, you were 19 dating John Mayer. Don't I think 19 is too young to be messed with? No. Don't you think 27 is too old to be dating? Yeah. Now, there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, Sienna's dating an older guy or married to an older guy. There's nothing wrong with it. But when it goes south, don't, oh my gosh, don't you think 19's too young? Well, you didn't think that when you were French. Two people in that relationship, you, him. Yes, it takes two to tang. Exactly. Takes two to tang. Takes two to make love. Let me tell you, just in case you didn't know this, Taylor Swift is real popular and everything, but I didn't realize the extent. My wife wants to go see her. She's coming here in October. Your wife? I'll go. I don't. I'm telling you. It takes a lot. These are the concerts I would go see. Red, Starfield, Red, or Starfield. I'd go see either of those bands. I begged you to go to Deftones with me. You were like, nope. Nah, it's too much Doritos. It's too much. To me, music, you consume it. And so I can't consume too much rich stuff. It's too rich.

3:37:16I could take a bite now and then, but I can't make a diet of it. If I go to a concert, I'm making a diet of it. But Taylor Swift, I go to the website. I'm looking at her tour. That chick plays two, three sold-out nights in a row in major markets. L.A., Chicago, San Francisco, New York City. Three sold-out nights at Madison Square freaking Garden. No joke. I don't know. When I was working at the country station a couple years ago, she came out on tour, and this is the tour before the one she's on right now, sold out in L.A. within like three minutes or something crazy like that, and in San Diego within like four minutes of just tickets being available. Wrong, Jen. It was seven minutes. Yeah, they're going to say something like that. But I'm telling you, it was within ten minutes, and it was just amazing. Like, no one had ever sold out that fast. No one. I wonder, okay, so I'm going to take a stab at why I think, what I think it is. Perfect storm, Taylor Swift. Young is a big part of it. Check. I'm just agreeing. It was dripping with filth. It was dripping with filth. I'm just saying. Do you know when you take a Corona out of the cooler and you stick it on the top of a counter when it's 110 degrees and it forms all that...

3:38:44Condensation. Condensation. Moisture. That's J. That's J. Sicko. Just condensating. What? My favorite part about moisture is... That's just weird. Can you give an autograph to Jasper but sign it to J? It's on Jasper. Your bus has big... Did you save any of your retainers? Okay. Okay, okay. I have no idea what that means. Do you still have your training bra? Sit on your tour bus's toilet. Your curls are so bouncy. Shine this big wheel too. Do you sell wigs of your hair? Sometimes I'll sing in the middle like you. So anyway. Of a star as it gets. Oh yeah.

3:41:33She's this giant of a stars. And I really didn't know. I thought she was real popular, but I didn't realize she was doing it. She's playing the belly up. She ain't playing the belly up. You know what I thought? I thought she was playing Cox Arena for a night. I didn't realize that she was selling out Staples Center and Madison Square Garden three nights in a row. Within minutes. Okay, so we were going back to why, though, right? Young, attractive. Writes her own music. Writes her own music. Talented. Plays an instrument. Sweet voice. And I think there was something about the country thing. Because now she's a pop star, but she started as a country star. Yeah, she still does some country. That was a little country. I mean, is she a country star or a pop star? She's a country star whose songs, some of them can cross over. It's like adult contemporary and... She's country. Yeah, I don't know if you'd call it pop.

3:42:31Well, you know, she's on Hip Hop Station. She is? Well, like 933. Is she on 933? Yeah, she's on 933. She's on, you know, Star. She's able to get on almost any station in town. Yeah, because of you, Mike, she's on FM 94.9. Top 40, I guess. Thanks a lot, DB. Yeah. Listen, she's a punk, all right? I'd fight her in an alleyway like she were a shark and I were a jet. Garrett, why are you so mad at Taylor Swift? Because she's Taylor Swift for crying out loud. If Dempsey, your son, brought Taylor Swift home as a girlfriend. Well, first of all, he wouldn't. Why? He knows better. He listens to Muse. She's a catch. Catch? It's a catch 22. I leave you on the air, we got ratings. I take you off, then what? Okay. It's a catch 22. Garrett, just love us. I do love you. I hate Taylor Swift. Get that crap off the air. Mikey, play it again. I'll slit your throat and then play in your blood. Oh, boy. She's getting a lot of reaction out of people from that song. They love it. Why? Because anti-bullying is big right now. People are mean to you, to everyone, every day. So you hear that song and you know, wow, people are mean to Taylor Swift. I don't feel so bad.

3:44:01I don't want people to be mean to Taylor Swift. I don't want people to be mean to anyone. Here's the movie scene. Married taxidermist sells his taxidermy business. You're slipping, pal. The end. The end. You're slipping. Listen, I don't know. I'm seeing like a deathbed. I'm seeing a guy work in an old truck, changing the oil. He's got grease all over. I see a guy accidentally hooking his thumb with a fly rod. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Do you go to one auto parts store for automotive maintenance basics like motor oil and wiper blades just to go to another when your car needs replacement parts like brake pads, starters, or alternators? Don't waste valuable time driving all over town for auto parts. O'Reilly Cragen Auto Parts has everything you need.

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3:47:04We're Kaiser Permanente, and we want you to live well, listen well, and thrive. For music to thrive by, visit kp.org slash thrive slash music. Live from Progressive. With more discounts than ever before, Progressive can save you a lot of money on your car insurance. Savings. Oh, you can get bigger savings than that. Savings. That's close, but you can really save a lot of money. You're going to get some savings. Much better. Discounts for safe driving, owning a home, and more. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. Live from Progressive. Next caller. Hey, Flo. So how much money can I save by switching to Progressive? People who switch save an average of $500 with more discounts than ever. Like the safe driver discount. Cha-ching. Homeowner's discount. Cha-ching. Pay in full discount. Cha-ching. Okay, he gets it. Getting you all the discounts you deserve. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Average annual savings from 2010 National Survey of new customers who save with Progressive. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. Are you a male who needs to lose more than 30 pounds? If so, the next 60 seconds are crucial to your well-being. Because CENSA for Men is sending 30-day free trials to men looking to lose the maximum amount of weight.

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3:50:10I would get drunk and steal random stuff. Woods. Oh, I want filth. I want straight filth as filthy as it can get. Sienna. Mine are always crying. I'm a crier. And Jay. I have a pond. I built a pond in my yard. On FM 94.9. Chance is Woods Bloss is in his car. No, this is too heavy for me. Is it really? Yeah. It's way too heavy for me. This is the song Lars played for me at headquarters when this album came out. I went to HQ and this is the song he played for me. And he said, it's really heavy, man. That is really heavy. That's too much for the kid. I love this song. It's like one of those songs. Frantic. This was the first single from Some Kind of Monster. Is it weird that I work out to slow music now? Incredible.

3:51:54Is it weird? It's weird that you work out. That is true. That is true. How can you remember? But yeah, I listen to slow music when I work out. Is it funny? It's working out. Yeah, that is true. One. I can't wait to drop about 40 pounds. You'll do it. And go punch him in the back of his head. You could do that now. Like, what do you listen to? I'll listen to Deftones, but I listen to the slower Deftones. That's so odd. For cardio or for pumping? For both. Wow. I had a bunch of Metallica. This is me on the treadmill. That's so strange. I'm doing the elliptical. Oh, it's funny. Yeah, they should do, yeah, the elliptical.

3:53:00I don't listen to Hall of Notes or anything, but... Have you ever made a mistake? Oh, dude. Yes. So embarrassing. It's the most embarrassing thing. Especially when there's like a row behind you in the gym. Oh, God. You know what I did? I've left. You know what I did? That's your excuse. You're like, oh, well, I can go now. I just demonstrated. Sienna, I was jogging on the treadmill. and I had my keys in that little cup holder. Oh, no. For some reason, I went, like, I was moving my stuff around, so I was picking my keys up to move them to the other one so I could put my iPod there. Yeah. Dropped the keys on the treadmill. They shot down. They could hit the machine behind me and was like, it was like, as loud as it could be. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. There's nothing more mortifying. It stopped down the gym. I stood on the side railing, spread my legs, stood on the side railings of the treadmill.

3:54:01Got the treadmill up to speed. Oh, no. And tried to walk on it. Oh, no. Why did you do that? Because I thought that it was going slow enough that I could get on it. And you... Oh, no. Oh. Fell? Yeah, fell. Oh, my. Recreate that. That is awesome. Yeah. That's the worst. I filmed that. Walked out. Got up. Walked out. Straight to McDonald's. Somewhere you're more comfortable. Yeah. Are you leaving already? Yes, I'll see you tomorrow. Will I? Just a little hiccup. Get back on the horse. I would have left. Let me tell you. I felt so good when I... I'm going to show you a picture. I took this picture of myself. Oh, wow. Can I show you, though? Yeah. Come on. I know why you left, though, because when you walk into a gym and you don't go every day, you feel out of place. You're like, how does this machine work? Am I doing it right? And you already feel like people are judging you because they know that you're like real new. Can't figure out the button. And then you fall and you're like, I'm never coming back. Yeah, you want to join it.

3:55:07Different gym. Yeah. So that nobody ever has to see you again. No sound coming through your headphones. You think it's just that machine. You keep plugging into different machines. Figure out you're just not doing it right. It's the worst. I'm going back today for the first time in a long time. I'm petrified. Just got to get that first and second day out of the way. Petrified. There'll be some just meathead in there. I'm throwing like 25s on either side of the bench press machine. He's racking like 445s on the edge. Well, you have to know that there's always going to be someone that's way better than you. My bit is I'm not going for bulk. I'm going for tone. I'm just trying to tone up. The worst is when there's like a grandma or a grandpa kicking your butt next to you. I'm like, oh, wow. I've done that. That's happened to me. This is really nice. Self-esteem booster. How you doing, Hillary? That's why we bought an elliptical. For the house. Yeah, for the home. Got the clothes hanging on it real nice. Yeah, that's what they become. Oh, do you? I use it all the time. Do you use it? Oh, yeah. See, because it seems like most exercise equipment, when people buy it, like you use it, and then you don't use it as a clothes dryer. I was worried that that was going to happen to us, but no, we both use it. I use it three times a week, I'd say. Yeah, me too. And my parents have that.

3:56:21You have some real, like, whatever they call it, willpower. Yeah. Stick-to-itiveness. That's right. Dedication. But you figure if it's at your house, you could go on the elliptical if you have a TV in there or something. Just, you know, watch the TV from the elliptical instead of the couch. Two birds, one's two. Crank up the iTunes and, yeah, go to town. I put a Victoria's Secret picture of a girl on my elliptical. Oh, Sienna, good. Me too. So does Jay. I do my nude, but I don't use the elliptical. I climb mountains. That's true. I don't have to use machines to do what a man should do. I use nature, okay? Right. It's free. It's free. I ain't going to pay for something that I can get for free. That's right. What is this picture you're looking for? Is it... It was me. Take your time, though. Yeah. Yeah. Mike just threw it on the phone. That was how long ago. Which is like... Me? What'd I do? Which is like... I haven't got them today. I have to do something to drive them crazy. What did you put in there? It's IBCAA Advanced Hybrid. I have to drink this 30 minutes before workout, so it's about right now. There you go. The guy's really going for it, Hill. Is that organic? Is there any actual food product? I don't know. Look.

3:57:39Speed muscle recovery and prevent muscle wasting. Increase lean muscle and burn fat. Maximize strength and endurance. Zero sugar, carbs, fillers, stimulants, or artificial colors. Oh, that's good. It's a dietary supplement. IBCAA Advanced Hybrid. Feast on that. All right. Good luck. Hel, what do you got coming up? I grabbed Arcade Fire and some Bob Marley. Rise Against the Decembrists and Florence and the Machine. New Radiohead. Very nice. Yeah. Florence and the Machine. Yeah, it's my jam. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. Beginning and end of every show, we do open phones so you can call about anything that you want, and we will take your call. You call in and call us names or something. Wow. What is that? Why that? People are mean to us today. People are being mean today. They are? I know. Nobody's called and said anything mean. Oh, no, they haven't called. They would never call. We just wanted everyone to like us. What are you talking about? I don't know. Nobody's called and said a word. I know. What are you talking about? I didn't say they called. I said maybe you can call and call us names since you like to do it other places real sweetly. They've been real friendly to me. Weird. What happened? Did somebody hurt you? Nope. Someone called me. Dicks and stones may break my fat bones. Someone told me I was...

3:59:00an awful news girl. Oh, that's not cool. Don't ever... I'd like to see them try. You know how I feel when people call and criticize because it's so easy to call the request line and criticize. Do they do that to you? Yeah, every once in a while for sure. I just feel like, you know what? I know we open ourselves up to that. It's part of the deal. I get that. But at the same time, I feel like I would love to follow you around at your job. You know, and be able to... What are you doing? What are you doing? No, a little to the left. No, that's wrong. You totally blew that. Yeah. Agreed. It's a part of the thing. But it is part of the thing. I'm going to go take it out on Choose Fitness real good. There you go. Somebody wants to love you, Woods. Is that okay? That's fine. M1 Redbeard from Lakeside. Redbeard. Hey, Woodsy. It ain't just me today, pal. Hey, I love you. They're getting all of us. I love you, too. I love all of you. We love you, Red Beard. But what's the most out of you? Oh, boy. After you get done working out, I'll bring you a Twix, huh? No Twix, kid. This guy to my appearance brought me a fresh Twix and a DP. Wow. You guys take it easy. Thank you, man. Thanks, Red Beard. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we'll come back tomorrow morning at 6 and do it all over again. Mikey shows out late. In financial media this morning, about the music all day and night. FM 94.9. It's about the music.