The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 04/21/10

0:00Hey, welcome to the show. What is it? It's Wednesday. It is. You can give us a call right now if you'd like. Our phone number is 570-1949. And you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. And be careful. It's raining. We know what happens here. People freak out. Shut down. They freak out. It's not our fault. I know it. The roads, they're not equipped. Oh, that's scary. People get so freaked out. When the rain falls, we don't know what to do. So be careful. Drive real safe and everything. Real sweetly. Real sweetly. Drive real sweet. Everybody drive sweetly today. Dude, I'm so over the rain, man. I'm done with the rain.

2:15Come on. You look so summery today, too. I know. I didn't even know. Well, first of all, yeah, I'm wearing a new getup. A whole new getup. Yeah. It's a whole new bit for you. Summer Mike is here. He's got the shorts on. Summer Mike. Not the cargo shorts. The sandals, little plaid button-up, short sleeve. Looking sharp, Mike. You should have seen me talking to Rebecca about it yesterday. Like a 13-year-old girl. What do you mean? You're unsure. I got a box of stuff in the mail because I like to shop on the internet. Weird. Weird. And so I get my boxes closed and a couple of the things I didn't order, which made me, you know. Score. No, no, no. They didn't get the right thing is what I meant. Oh. I was like, I'd be stoked. What, do they just throw stuff in there? They're like, eh, we don't have this one. We'll just throw this one in there. I think that either that or they made a mistake. I don't know. Oh, that drives me nuts. Oh, yeah, I know. Especially when you do it online. Mm-hmm. Oh, it's a beating. So I'm trying on these shorts, and I'm asking my wife, does this look okay? You know? And it doesn't.

3:36You know, it doesn't look okay. She said no or you said no. The other outfit. This is what I deemed okay to wear. The other one, not so much? No. It's a flattering shirt on you. I would have killed to see it. Oh, Woodsy. Is it bad? Just dumb. Didn't make any sense. It was like a photograph of... peanut butter on a pineapple. You'd go, what is that? Why did somebody draw a painting of a jar of peanut butter with a porcupine? Why? It doesn't make any sense. That's what I was like when I was dressed yesterday. In these different outfits. Looked like a clown. Been there, buddy. Probably not as much as me. Tall. Quite a bit, though. Quite a bit. The tall equates to non-clown. Tall means non-clown in your eyes. Yeah. No, that's not true. Because you can do anything you want. No, you can't. If you're tall, you can. No, you can't. You can't go put on clothes. No. I feel kind of the opposite for a girl. Like, I feel like sometimes when I'm tall, I'm like, oh, I'm too tall in this. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I feel like that a lot, too. Like, I need, no. And short people can wear whatever they want. I feel too tall in this. Have you ever said that? No. Have you ever said that? I've never said those words.

4:57My goodness. There's some really cute heels that I want sometimes, but then I'm like, okay, I'm too tall. I think to myself when I go into the store, there are men who go into a store and buy a pair of jeans, and they just put them on, and they're the right length, and they're the right, and I'm like, you can, right, Woods? Yeah, for sure. Whoa. It's great. Oh, I bet, man. What a life, huh? You have a few years tailored? Dude, I'm too short. They got to hem them or whatever. I've seen shorter people than you in jeans before. Yeah, don't they do it by the waist size and the legs? Yeah. So why don't you just get the right leg size? Because my legs are the size of a shoebox. Yeah, you're probably what, like a 32? 28? I don't know. 30. You're probably 30. You're yelling at me. I'm not yelling at you. You should know your size, though. You're a grown man. Rebecca, what is his size? Just as long as you keep the original hem on the bottom of the pant legs, no one's going to know. I do. What else would you do? Some people hem them. Yeah, they hem them and it looks like, you know. You put like paisley ribbon around them. It looks like a real. It looks like they've just been folded. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, you got to have the stitching in there. Yeah, like my mom used to do. Oh. Oh, my mom. Here's my mom when I was growing up. No. Cut them, folded them, put them on her sewing machine. And then iron them. Oh, it looked.

6:21Oh, my gosh. I just got anxiety. I just got anxiety right now. I just got anxiety. I felt like a 12-year-old. I felt like I was 12 right now. How do you keep it? How do you what? Keep the original hemline, like that little... Oh, they're magical. They're magical now. They do awesome stuff. They do awesome stuff. They have to. It's like, you know, motion pictures, like they're doing wardrobe. Yep. I'm the host of the show. My name's Mikey. And no more cargos for me. And Woodsy is our... Woodsy is... First of all, television star, because I saw him on television yesterday. Jason, if we got that, we got the, yeah, check it out. In case you are just tuning in, we have a 12-year-old. That's you. We're only hearing it through the right. Oh, there we go. It's evening out. It's evening out. That's how it was set up. That's how it was set up. I don't like it. What? That's what? No, they're overlapping. Something's wrong. It's you. It's them filming you from behind. And you're talking into the mic of your show. Exactly. And then all of a sudden the voiceover of the newscaster comes on. Yeah. Did you watch a clip? One's in the right channel. One's in the left channel. That's how they do it on the news. I watched it on the news. I watched it on the news and I wasn't like, whoa. Right. Because you didn't have earphones on.

7:44Earphones. Headphones. Yeah, but when people are listening to it in their cars, is it coming out of the right channel and the left channel? But they don't air the television news on the radio. But now, just now, yeah, it's probably coming out of... It's making your voice kind of, like, tinier and in the background, and then the newscaster is the forefront voice. Right. The video's better. We have it up. Yeah, this has never happened. Mikeyshow.com. This has never happened. Yeah, that's the way it came. He's just amazing. Our listeners love him and hope he's on with us for a while until he gets hired by the Padres. Naturally, Noah also plays baseball. We don't have the Dolby surround sound system. Maybe it would be better if it was in Dolby, Michael. I feel like there's two things playing. There is. If you're listening, lock him up. That was the strangest thing. You hated it. I loved it. It's just like watching the news. They do that all the time.

8:54But you're not wearing headphones when you watch it. No, it's easier on the news because you can see them. Right. You know what I mean? And it's better. I've never noticed that. Really? Mm-mm. When I watch the news, it seems to be like mono. Monoed out or, you know. I think it does. What if we played it from a computer? It'd be different if you played it from a computer. It would sound different. It would? Mm-hmm. You can go to my page. I put the link up from the MDC story. Yeah, for sure. Let's do it because... That was giving me a little bit of... It was making me feel a bit nauseous. You think it'll be different from the computer? Well, without speakers, it'll probably be different. Let's try it. Make it right. I can make it right. You can give it a shot. 570-1949. If you saw us on the news last night, you can give us a call. Let's see. I'll try playing it from here. A commercial. They play a commercial first. Weird. Did they play anything without a commercial before it now? Anything? Nothing. Did everyone like how they looked on the news? No. You fat pig. It looks like messing with my hair. No, I don't. Here we go. Yeah, it's playing off of the computer that way. Yeah.

10:04Yeah, it is. It's the headphones. You have the wrong kind. I don't think people in their cars are hearing it the same way we do. I don't think so either. Mikey, let's kill him. He looks so good. Saw a little Mikey spirit leave his body as he spirals down. Yeah, it was weird. I didn't even tell my parents about it. I just was like, ugh. Really? You did it? Why? I just put it on my Facebook. Really? I don't know. I was weirded out about being on the news. You were? Yeah. You didn't like the way that you looked? No. Dude, on the NBC deal, I thought you looked really handsome. Mm-hmm. Okay. I thought you looked good. Okay. I'm too. No, and I'm not just saying that. I think that maybe you looked like you shedded a few pounds. Shedded? Yeah. Shedded? I did. Have you? No. You haven't? You haven't sucking down Big Macs two at a time. They taste real good, right? They're real good. That's the problem with those Big Macs. And I'm driving home from work and I'm like, huh, I have nothing at my house. I'm moving in two days. I don't want to go buy any groceries. I know that. Just go to McDonald's. Don't you hate when you... It's the worst. You don't have anything. There's no leftovers. And you just are hungry. I'm hungry, dude. Like, we get here. I get here at 4 o'clock in the morning or 4.30.

11:32And by the time we get out of here, I'm like, my stomach's like... And I'm like, am I going to go stand in line at Subway? Or can I just drive through and make it right? I did the thing where I go home, and then I open my refrigerator, and then I open my pantry, and then I go back and open my refrigerator. Like, I'm going to come back for the fourth time, and then something's magically going to be there. Oh, a chicken breast. Delicious. Awesome. Wasn't there the first three times I looked? Dude, I think that Subway is nuts to not do a drive-thru. There's no healthy place that... Subway takes forever. It doesn't have to, though. Maybe that's why. Here's my Subway sandwich. Give me a foot-long turkey on wheat, a little bit of mayo, a little bit of mustard. Can you want that toasted, sir? No, I don't. Peppercinis? Nope. Black olives? Nothing. I just told you what I want on it. That's it. I want turkey and mustard and mayo, and that's it. Would you like some chips? Would you like to make that a combo? Yeah, let's combo that up for you, sir. It doesn't take any longer to do that than it would at Mickey D's. There has to be. Unless you're that guy. I want... That's who everyone at Sunway is. Both onions. Toasted. I'm that way everywhere. Everyone's that way. Too many tomatoes. Too many tomatoes. Yeah. Less lettuce, please. 570-1949. They really don't have a healthy drive-thru. No. And if there was, I'd do it. They don't have Chick-fil-A here, do they? Yeah, they do. Do they? Yep. Chick-fil-A is fairly healthy. But isn't that healthy? It's fried. No, you get grilled.

12:56You get grilled chicken sandwich. It's healthy. There's a Chick-fil-A on the sports arena. There's a Chick-fil-A in San Marcos. It's healthier. It's healthier than a Big Mac. Yeah, I'll try it. Maybe that's the ticket. Grilled chicken sandwich on a wheat bun. There's nothing wrong with that at all. Just don't get mayo. We were talking. I was talking to my. Am I full of it? No, I think you're right. Talking to my trainer yesterday about it. And I said, I've discovered that with healthy food, it's one of two things. It's either terrible or it's good. Okay. With healthy food. Isn't that all food? No. Some food is like, okay. Right. Some food's like, eh, that's all right. But I've found that with healthy food, you can either make healthy food taste really delicious or it's just a turd. Yeah. It's just disgusting. Because we're getting this new thing. My wife and I are getting this new thing called healthy creations. Yeah. I read that in your blog. Yeah. In Encinitas. In Encinitas.

13:55And what they do is they provide healthy meals and they put them in a bag for you and you freeze them. And you take them out and it takes just a couple of minutes to cook it up and make it right. Is there anything worse than defrosting and cooking something though? Well, our options with how busy we are with her with the twins and me with my stuff, the options are that we either order in like we were doing or we go get fast food or something. You know what I mean? And she doesn't have time to make a big elaborate. And they do all the prep work for you. Right. What I found, though, is it's either awful. Yeah. Or delicious. Let me ask you this. What's to stop you from coming home or like on a Sunday? You always do a lot of cooking on Sunday. Yeah. What's to stop you from cooking 10, 12 chicken breasts right then? Well, because I'm making I do have we have leftovers. We have some leftovers at last. But Rebecca. Rebecca's not a leftover person. Chicken breasts could dry. Yeah. She don't like food. And that's the other thing. There are some human beings, which I think this is crazy. And some of you dudes listening right now, this may be you. Some of you ladies, this may be you. But there are some human beings that food, it doesn't really matter. It's sustenance. Yeah. That's it. My wife is like that. She's like. Dad's family.

15:21Food to her is not really, really good. It's a necessity. Yeah, this is what Rebecca knows. Ooh, that's repugnant and gross. Or, oh yeah, that's edible. That's edible. Right. This will give me the nutrients I need to get through the rest of my day. I can deal with that. Yeah, an edible falls into the category of like Donovan's or In-N-Out. And it's just all edible. I wish I was like that. You know what the same thing is to her? Like you could get some pasta from some weird pasta. And as long as it's got ketchup, tomato sauce or whatever on it, it's like, oh, yeah, I'll eat it. Yeah, it's food. For me, I'm like, oh, yeah. This is so far. Is this frozen food or what is this? And she's like, frozen? I told you when I first met her, when she made a baked potato for us one night, she boiled a potato. What are you doing? What are you doing? She goes, I'm making baked potato. She was making you dinner. That's the bottom line. I understand. It was very sweet. Boiled potato. Yeah, she goes, I'm making baked potato. And I go, but you're boiling the potato. I've never heard of that. Nobody has. And she looked at me like I was a moron. She goes, what's the difference? I go, one's baked. And one's boiled. And one's boiled. She's like, it all tastes the same. I'm like, man, no one. I mean, you know what I mean?

16:43It just doesn't matter. I'm shocked. Is that like a way people cook potatoes? Some people. Boil them? But that's like you do mashed potatoes. Yeah, if you're going to mash potatoes. Well, yeah, mashed potatoes. Potato salad. Yeah, but you got to cut them up and all that. You don't boil a whole potato to make mashed potatoes. She was going to boil it until it was soft and then put it on the plate with a steak and then you cut into it, put butter in it and bake potato. No way. Probably still be. No. It's the same thing, I guess, but you just don't get the crispiness on the outside. You think? I don't think so. Closer to a mashed potato. It would look white, too. I'll give you a 20-second baked potato. Put a baked potato in a bowl with olive oil and shake it around. Put kosher salt on it. Poke holes in it. Put it in the oven for an hour at 350. It's the best baked potato you'll ever get. It sounds delicious. It's the best baked potato you'll ever get. I'm going to need you to write that down and send you on over. I will. It's so easy. I give you a... I give you a 30-second steak that will blow your mind off. Bring it. Now, key with steak, though, always get good quality steak. Yeah. Don't just go grab some $1.50 steak, you know, at the Vons. Get yourself a nice steak, okay? Come home. Rub with your hands. Rub olive oil on it. Kosher salt and crushed black pepper. Done. Yeah, salt pepper. That's all you need. Put it on a, if you have it.

18:06If you have a cast iron skillet, cook it on your stovetop on a cast iron skillet. Sear it. Don't press on it. No. Never press on it. Turn it over and finish it in the oven at 500 degrees. What about the grill? Ten minutes. No, no, no. This is a different deal. Whole different animal. Woodsy, you would lose your mind over the steak. Make one for me with the baked potatoes sometimes. According to your deal, it'll take us three minutes to eat. Absolutely. Warm your oven up to 500 degrees so it is just piping hot. Not a broiler, the oven. Not the broiler. 500 degree oven. Lou Bush taught me this. Do you put them on the rack or do you put them on a pan? Put what? The steak. No, you know, you take that cast iron skillet off the stove and stick it in the oven. Look at you. You stick it in there for 10 minutes. The whole skillet? Yeah. I'd be so scared to do that. I know, me too. Well, you guys have to, it has to be a... oven safe pan. All clad will do it or a heavy, you know, cast iron skillet. You need a pot holder. If Lou Bush said it, I'm in because that dude can cook. Let me tell you. This steak will blow your mind. It'll blow your mind. Be delicious. And the way that I just described it, about 10-15 minutes, medium. Jeremy! The whale's still here, you guys.

19:30There's two of them. Oh, there's now two? Well, yesterday we said that there was a boomer that there were two. Greg does have a friend. And, you know, we decided yesterday we were going to name the whale Greg because you have to name it. Yeah. And the news teams yesterday, I guess they put on their websites and stuff, name the whale, and they named it. You even want to know? This was one news place or what was it? It was one news place, but now it's spread and everyone's calling it Balboa. Because they have to localize it, you know, and it's like. But it's a mother and I guess it's baby whales cruising around Harbor Island. I'm writing them. Dear news stations, don't name whales after local stuff. It's lame. Signed. The Mikey Show. In case you didn't know, news team, I'm pretty sure we were on the air before you. Yeah, we were. And we said the name is Greg. Yeah. Yeah, it's a female. We get it. It's still Greg. We named it at about 6.10 yesterday morning. If you can top that, then we'll talk. Should we name the other one? Greg? Do you want to name the other one? Is it a baby? We already named Greg. I think the mom should be Greg. Okay, I'm fine with that. Because that was the name. All right, it's Greg. Susan.

20:54I love that. I love names. I love names that are so uncommon but used to be really common. I love the Marys, the Barbaras, the, the, that. Sally. That's great. Sally. Fred. Yes. I love those. Greg and Susan. Are we in? Yeah. Greg and Susan. Greg and Susan. That's fantastic. That sounds like a 1970s, like, TV show. Sounds like, you sound like your neighbors. Yeah. What if it was Greg and Marsha? Oh, that's my mom's name. The Brady. Brady. That's his mom and dad's name. No, Gary and Marshall. Oh, there you go. Emma and Kevin. Are you there, Kevin? Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. Good morning, guys. What's up? Glad to see you're talking about food. Yes. That's who we love. Love food. Don't just eat it just to get by, but you got to enjoy it, right? That's right. Hey, recommendation. I don't know if you guys ever watched the Food Channel, but it was a show, The Best Thing I Ever Ate. Oh, yeah, dude. I bet that's good. There's a San Diego place featured on that show. Yeah, there's been a few on there. It's a show. Bobby Flay went and had breakfast at a place in Hillcrest. I'll get the name of it for you. And it's locally owned. And he said it's one of the best breakfasts he's ever had in America. You don't know the name of it? I'll find it for you real quick. I'll find it for you. But, Kevin, do you like that show?

22:19Yeah, anything on the Food Network. It's pretty much the only channel I watch. Yeah, I've watched a lot of it, too. What's your favorite food, Kevin? Everything. That's a good answer. Me, too. All right, you put it in front of me and it's outrageous. I'll try it, you know? Rosie will not eat Indian. I can't talk him into it. He's retugnant. He won't do it. Nope. I can't talk him into it. I will never, ever, ever, ever eat it. I'm picking the music today. Wow. Yes. All right, stop. Stop. Is Michael McDonald? Here we go again. Oh, boy. What? She didn't do that bit all day. She's going to do it all day with every song. Every song. All right, I'll stop. There's Hendrix. What is that, Bread? That's the worst name for a band ever. All right, stop. Shut down. Shut down and replay. Oh, you want me to do it? You know I want you to do it. You want me to do Michael Shannon on it? Yes, my favorite. It's a long intro. Yeah. Okay. Talk about the whale. Light and easy favorites. It's K-Wave 97 FM. Good morning, San Diego. 624, 24 minutes after 6 o'clock. And that rascally whale is still out in that bay this morning. And some local news teams have nicknamed the whale Balboa. Isn't that cute? No. Got a request from Tina for a little Ambrosia. This is the biggest part of me on K-Way 97 FM. Yeah. I was like, please say Greg. Please say Greg. Well, see, I had to be accurate, right? I guess. Got to be accurate. We're a local news team. This is Ambrosia.

23:51It's Ambrosia. Ambrosia, biggest part of me. If you have a worst name for a band besides, like, think about the band names. Bread and Ambrosia. What is Ambrosia? It makes me think of Edward Scissorhands. Isn't it a color? And the woman tries to feed him. It's a color, and it's also... It's also the name of a dessert. A marshmallow salad. It's a disgusting dessert. It's gross. It's gross. You like it? You like it? Oh, my gosh. Ambrosia salad? Oh, my gosh. I will slather myself in that. It's so good. It creeps. I'll dive into a pool of ambrosia salad. Really? Yes. Guess what? The Geezer Bandit is back. He's back. We'll tell you about it. And how many texts do you think that teens on average are sending a day? I'll tell you that. NFL schedule's been released. You want to hear our picks, me and Woodsy? We'll do it in Woods on Sports next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. They've been called the best live band in the world. Now, San Diego, it's your chance to see them. Muse.

25:02September 22nd at V.A. Hoffs Arena. Including music from the new album, The Resistance, available now. News. With special guest, Passion Pit. Tickets on sale Saturday morning at 10 at livenation.com. All ticket bars to all. It's the arena box officer charged by phone. News. Buy tickets at livenation.com. Some of us are servicemen and women, but we are all called upon to serve in our own way. As businessmen, as friends, as parents, and when we are, Navy Federal is there for us to call upon. In person, at branches around the world, on the phone, day or night, or through online, mobile banking, or even worldwide ATM access. For Navy Federal, success is measured by service. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. Navyfederal.org. Wow, Cesar Gonzalez from Mama Testa Taqueria. Hey, Ryan from the Nervous Records. I wanted to stop in here after hearing Tim Piles talk about Mama Testa. Tell me about your chorizo. Oh, man, let me tell you about my chorizo. We make it fresh every day in the restaurant. We spice it up like only the way Mama knows. We don't use any of that greasy stuff we get at other places. Yeah, it's not greasy. Not greasy at all. My buddy Mark tried them. What'd you think, Mark? I tried the El Pastor tacos. What's up with the pineapple?

26:19Let me tell you about the El Pastor tacos, man. We marinate it for 24 hours and then we grill it with grilled pineapple. Delicious, sweet, sour, spicy, all at the same time. Hey, Brian from the Nervous Records. What are you doing here hanging out with Mark and Caesar? Hey, Tim Piles. We're just eating some food. Really? Are you sure you're not cutting a commercial? No, man, we're just having a conversation. Really? Yeah, are we supposed to be cutting a commercial? I'm a musician. I don't endorse things. Oh, this is awkward. Mama Testa Taqueria, Richmond and University in Hillcrest. Maybe I should write a jingle. With AT&T high-speed internet, you can connect at blazing fast speed. Boom, I'm checking out a live feed of the news. And now, today's headlines from around the world. Fast, right? See, home high-speed internet from AT&T has blazing fast speed, so it's easy to download funny videos. Like this dog on a unicycle. That's strange. Or just as quickly, I can do a little social networking. Lisa is craving a slice of pizza. Lisa got these cool glasses on sale. And high-speed internet from AT&T also includes access to the nation's largest Wi-Fi network at no extra charge. Hey, can you guys keep it down? Rude. You're the one with all the browser windows open, mister. Yeah. My fault. You think? Totally.

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31:09This report, it's brought to you by Account Temps, matching highly skilled temporary financial professionals with their clients' requirements for over 60 years. You can call or visit them at accounttemp.com, an equal opportunity employer. Getting busy out there this morning already on the 15 northbound after Villa Rancho Parkway, an accident. The left lanes blocked, pickup truck, and a car collided. Also, Escondido on the 15 northbound after El Norte Parkway, an accident on the left shoulder. This is a car that rolled a couple times. It ended up on its wheels in the center divider. They've got an ambulance. on the scene and the five northbound after Loma Santa Fe be careful there's a bunch of metal in the middle lanes cars have hit it they've got flat tires and now we've got tow trucks on the scene there as well this report it is also brought to you by Paula Casino catch the professional bull riders touring pro division at Paula Casino spawn resort May 22nd and the 23rd tickets are on sale now at the Paula Casino box office and start tickets.com I'm Stacy Cohen FM 94.9 Now, back to the Mikey Show. Mikey. I don't have any, you know, athletic abilities. Sienna. I'm like a little bit Irish. There's everything white I am. Woods. I mean, hey, listen, I did snuff on the planet, okay? Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. I knew how it worked. I knew how destructive it was. I still started fires on the regs. And Jay. This is a paid gig. I'm 100% in. This is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Long-time Mikey Show fans may remember this.

32:49For a period of time, this was the opening song. Really? Really. Yeah, I've gone to... Oh, now I remember. You do? The little ding, the bell. I remember that. I like this. It's like, wake up. This is also the way that Metallica starts every concert. Really? When this comes on, the place flips. I've seen them. I don't remember this. Every show. They don't not do it. They play... Ecstasy of gold every show. Or maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Come on, Metallica. You know what it is? Good, the bad, and the ugly. Really? Yeah. That's killer. Flipped out when I stopped. Welcome back. It's Mikey Show. We still got to tell you about the Geezer Bandit because he's back. We will. We're going to tell you how many techs teenagers are sending a day. There's a new Mapple product that we'll be telling you about today. That's a Mikey Show Apple product, and we'll be telling you about that in a little bit. But first, a lot of stuff going on locally. And Woodsy's on it. The Padres are in first place. Oh, wow. Well, they are tied for first, at least. After beating the Giants, they won one to nothing last night. You know how many hits the Padres got? One. Oh, wow. One hit, and they won the game one to nothing. Really? It was a single. Stole second, stole third, I think, and then scored on a sack fly.

34:31Wow. Nice. Matt Latos was dominant last night for the Padres. He gave up four hits. He walked only one through seven. How bad does that suck for the Giants pitching? You give up one hit, you lose. That's awful, man. Brutal. I know. That's a bummer. The Chargers schedule was released yesterday. They've got their work cut out from, I think. They've got four of their first six games on the road. Oh, wow. But then I'll tell you who they play. The preseason starts on my mom's birthday on August 14th. Nice. With the Bears coming to town. Then they'll play the Cowboys, the Saints, and the Niners in the preseason. There it is. All right. So, Mikey and I were talking. And I'm going to rip through these real quick. And you just tell me win or lose. Okay. Chiefs. Kansas City Chiefs. Loss. Win. I mean, sorry. Excuse me. Win. Okay. We agree. We'll start that off, Mike. The Jacksonville. Okay. At home against the Jags. Win. Yep. Same. At home against Seattle. Win. No. At Seattle. Sorry. Still a win. Arizona at home. Win. I say win. Can we just say win for all of them? Dude, Warner retired. Win. Yeah, it's Matt Leinart. Yep, win. You know that's a win. At Oakland. What win? Dude, that's 5-0. At St. Louis. Win. That's 6-0. Yeah, come on, guys. New England at home. Loss. Loss, yep. Tennessee at home. Win.

35:51I'm saying back-to-back L's. I say, you know, I say that that team is not. Well, wait a minute. Dude, they have sick, sick running backs. I'm a little scared of the drafts. I'm going to stay optimistic. I'm going to say because of the momentum that you've already given me, it's a win. Okay. I say loss. Mikey says win. Then we have at Houston. I'm going to say win. Yeah. I'm going to call that one the loss. Whoa, Mikey. Then they have a bye. Then Denver at home. I say that's a win. I say it's a win also. Boo Broncos. Then at Indy. It's a big fat L. I'd say that's a loss. Oakland at home is a win. Yep. Kansas City at home is a win. Yep. San Francisco at home is a win. I say that's a loss. Mikey says loss. I say win. At Cincinnati. Is a. I say that's an L. That's an L. Yep. I say it too. At Denver. I say that's an L too. I say that's a win. W. At Denver the last game of the year. Oh, I say it's a win. Chargers will probably have locked up a playoff spot. So I. They'll be half-assed, not a guarantee. We don't play the Jets at all. Yeah, I'm surprised because a lot of times when they do those things. No Jets, no Steelers. The Cowboys? Preseason. Preseason Cowboys. Oh. I'm surprised you're not playing the Jets. Hey, listen. If that's the schedule, it ain't looking too bad for the Chargers, man.

37:10That's looking pretty good. But the thing about the Chargers that freaks me out is that they do better than ever when we say they're not going to. Yeah. That's what scares me. That is true. So we were talking about, you know, the draft is coming up tomorrow, and the Chargers have the 28th pick in the draft. I think there's really only one move that they can make. What? They have to get a running back. They have to. You let go of LTE. You've got Sproles here. You signed him to a one-year deal. But you've got to get somebody to compliment him. He's not an every down back. I'm not from here, and I can tell you that because I know a lot about that kid. He's a little dude, and he's really, really fast. He's really good, but you need kind of that power guy too. For sure. So there's three names that jumped out at me at guys that I think that they should look at. Number one is a guy named Javid Best out of Cal. He is... He's ridiculously fast. He's big. He's strong. He would be, if he's there, you got to snatch him. I just got excited. Yeah. He's really, wait till I show you this highlight of this kid. Really? Explosive. I love, listen. And I, I think that you could say whatever you want about AJ Smith. That dude can draft. He can. So whoever he takes, I can almost guarantee the kid will be a stud. Yep. Ryan Matthews from Fresno State. He has good speed. He's not really break.

38:22Not really like breakaway speed, but a really good compliment for Sprolesy. All right. And then my wild card pick for them would be Toby Gerhardt. He's like the only white running back out there. Are you serious? He's a football player, though. The kid is tough, pretty good speed, but he's big and he's tough. And he's, again, it's kind of thunder and lightning. You know what I mean? He's a bruiser. Most importantly, he's a football player. Yeah. And he gets it and he'd be a really good pickup for them. I can't believe it, but, you know, in case you don't know. The draft is tomorrow. It's not on the weekend. Right. It's tomorrow. Tomorrow. It's so weird. Primetime. 4.30 in the afternoon here tomorrow. Primetime. Yeah. That's what they're doing. They're putting it on in primetime because they think it's such a big deal now that they want to have it in primetime. Problem is, is that for the rest of the world, it's like, hey, that's great that you're making money and it's in primetime and everything. But we're used to it being on the weekend when you actually watch it. Well, you know, also the NFL season this year kicks off on a Thursday. It's gotten crazy with the Thursday bits. The Celtics lost Kevin Garnett for one game, as I told you guys about earlier in the week. He was suspended for a game for elbowing Quentin Richardson in the face. Well, they didn't really need him. They went out and beat the Heat 106-77. And now the Heat are in a 2-0 hole. Paul Pierce knows that the Heat still have Dwayne Wade and realizes that with D. Wade on the bench, anything can happen. Cut one. My focus is always going to be on Wade.

39:49At the same time, you can't let the other guys have big games. And, you know, that's got to be our focus, too. So you understand that Wade's such a great player. He's been in big playoff games. And, you know, he's going to have the ball in his hand 90% of the time. He's going to get his looks. And it's going to be almost impossible to stop him from really focusing and slowing him down and shutting him down. And I thought that was our focus and we did a good job of it. I don't know anything about basketball, but if the Lakers are in the playoffs, and they are. They are. I think they're going to. They beat the Thunder last night by three points. Kobe had 39. That's sports news in itself to a lot of people that are not as knowledgeable about the NBA as others is that there's an NBA team called the Thunder. Yeah, from Oklahoma City. Is that a new team? Yeah, I think two years old. Kevin Durant, the UT Stars, is their best player. He's really, really good. Had a good game last night. The Steelers have added a little insurance to their roster by trading a seventh-round pick for... Byron Leftwich, quarterback from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They've had him before. They're bringing him back because they don't know what's going to happen to Big Ben. So Big Ben may be suspended. And I think they'll find out by tomorrow. We got two Steeler fans in here. Yeah, we do. Well, I mean, you're a Steeler fan by marriage. I'm a Charger fan. You're a Charger fan first. I'm married into a Steeler-ism. You're a Steeler fan by marriage. And LLB, you're not. No, you're a Philly fan. She's a Philly fan. So, really, neither. No, I like the Steeler.

41:12Paul Amalu, I think, is the best player in the NFL. Yeah, I do, too. I actually think he is. I think he's the best player in the NFL. He's amazing. He's a beast. You know why I say it? It's because when you take him out of their lineup, they don't win. They don't. It's creepy. I saw it on an ESPN SportsCenter thing when he got injured last year, and they were showing wins with Paul Amalu. Yeah, he didn't play much last year. He didn't play much. And he just seems like... He's the most down-to-earth, nicest guy. Oh, I see what you're saying. I just love him. They went to the Super Bowl, right? Right. They went to the Super Bowl last year. I saw that stat. And you're right. They ended up going to the Super Bowl. But he is, I mean, up until that injury last year, early, that dude was a game changer. Oh, yeah. I mean, if he was in the game, they won. If they wasn't, they lost. But, yeah, he's great. Palomo is great. Love him. Finally, the last story I have shocked me yesterday. I read that Donovan McNabb said he would be. Absolutely ecstatic to have T.O. lining up next to him. Again, T.O. is a free agent. He has no team. And these two guys played with each other, hated each other. Yeah, they hated each other. They ran mouth about each other for years and years. And now McNabb, it's kind of, I think what it is, it's kind of like, all right, dude, let's mend our fences and let's go back and get the Eagles. Yeah. Real good. And could it be this? Could it be a deal where he's looking at the writing on the wall? He knows he's probably coming. Yeah. Couple of has-beens.

42:37And so if he knows he's coming, maybe he's like, maybe I say some nice stuff to try to cushion it. But, you know, what I read was that they said that they had kind of mended fences a little bit together. I mean, it's not like the Skins don't need him. They don't have any, you know, their best wide receiver was at 900 yards last year. So that was Santana Ma. Yeah, the Deadskins are known for... Picking up the scraps. Listen to this Philly fan. I know him for picking up the scraps. Take him. We don't want him. That's Woods on sports. Geezer Bandit's back. You know who the Geezer Bandit is, right, you guys? Yeah, that old man. Old man. What are you talking about? Apparently old man. I think. Yeah, allegedly. I think he's young. I think too. And he's dressed in full makeup gear to make him look old. I think so too. I don't think it's a real old dude, Robin Banks. But the weird thing is, is like. This guy gets out just slowly. He walks out of the bank every time. Yeah, he's an old guy. He's got to play the part. You know what I mean? Sometimes he has a cane. Yeah, I'm not believing it. He doesn't want to draw too much attention probably. Right. Well, he has dubbed himself the Geezer Bandit and he struck again yesterday around 9 in the morning in Vista. He hit up the California Bank and Trust on Escondido Avenue right near Alta Vista Drive. And what he did is he just walked up to the teller. He gave her a note.

43:52And he threatened her with a handgun that was hidden inside of his day planner. We don't know how much. Really? An old guy's got a day planner? Of course he does. Come on. That's proof right there that it's a young person wearing a disguise. Really? Yeah. What's on your schedule? These 75-year-olds you've got with a day planner. Really? Here's what it looks like. Bridge, bridge, bridge, bridge, bridge. Great. Shuffleboard. Yeah, shuffleboard, bridge. Shuffleboard, buffet, bridge, Applebee's. Well, if it was an actual older person coming in, they'd be like, no, what did I come in here for? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. You forgot. He's like, wait, where did I put my, I know I had a gun here. Exactly. Yeah, so he gave her the note. I mean, he's never hurt. anyone yet knock on wood um but he showed her that he did have a black short barreled revolver and it was pointed at her through the day planner so she gave him money we don't know how much um and then he just walked out he's described as whites about six feet tall weighs about 190 he hit up my bank yeah that's right he hit the one in la jolla yes well you know he's going to two in la jolla heavier than that dude six feet white that's six feet i'm pretty close yeah six feet white sounds just like me

45:03Yeah, could be. Could be me. Is that a tall old guy, 6 feet? He's kind of tall. How tall are you, Woodsy? 6'1". Don't you shrink a little bit? Yeah, exactly, right? When you get older. My grandpa's pretty tall, but I don't think he's as tall as he was in his prime. I think you're right. Do you really shrink? No, you don't. Everything curves a little bit. Your spine becomes compressed. Thank you. You shrink. What about Benjamin Button? Oh, my God. Creepiest movie. I never saw it. So creepy. I never saw it. So creepy. What's he doing all right? Yeah, why? Well, because I know that sometimes us guys, we can experience irritability. I'm just checking in, making sure you're feeling okay. Us guys? What about us girls? I know. I know girls. Everybody knows that. Everybody knows that. Oh, do they? Don't they? Don't they? Don't they? Do they? Don't they?

46:03Do they? Don't they? Maybe guys can go through the same thing. 100%. Right? Vice President of Consumer Relations, Ben Reed. Look, I love my job. Working at Mapple is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. But I work my tail off. I work long hours. I'm tired. I'm grouchy when I get home. I'm sorry. Ben's wife, Brenda Reed. Yeah. He's an idiot. He comes home and he's like, oh. I'm so tired. Oh, I've had a long day. I'm pretty sure that he has man cramps. Introducing iGramp. We were hearing so often from women that the men in their lives were experiencing man cramps. And essentially, it came down to the fact that a man can't have a period, yet they were still experiencing them emotionally. And true, they couldn't experience the pain and discomfort associated with actually having the female body, but they were grouchy, a bit on edge, in some cases emotional and prone to crying. It must be nice to be at work and not feel very well and decide, you know what, I think I'm going to go home for a day. I think I'm going to take it to the house. Senior Vice President of Mapple Design, Simon Kirkland.

47:31The need was clearly there for a device that could eliminate man cramps while simultaneously running third-party apps and playing music. And then it occurred to us we could do it wirelessly. He's still an idiot. I mean, come on. Maybe you grow a pair. I mean, come on. What kind of a baby are you? You don't need a product. You don't have cramps. Men don't get cramps. So your cramps are worse than my cramps. Is that what you're saying? Oh, honestly? Really? Really? You're going to pull that bit. Of course. You're saying that you have cramps. Yours are worse. Weird. Worse? Maybe mine exist. Oh, mine don't? Yeah. These are real. Maybe buy an eye cramp. Maybe buy an eye get. Eye cramp. Taking care of the man. Eye get. That's just a pain. Maybe eye gets next. Maybe you guys start carrying babies and giving birth. Maybe you start doing that if you want sympathy. Maybe you start absolutely having cramps when you say that you have cramps. Maybe we do every single time. Really? Every single time. Do you think that a woman has ever said that she has cramps? To get out of something? When she doesn't really have cramps? I think that people have used that excuse maybe before. Right. But believe me, they exist. Oh, yeah. There's no doubt. Do you think a man...

48:55has ever said, that child's not mine, when in fact it is his? Yes. Do you think that's happened? I do believe that. I do believe that that has happened. I do. I was a manager, and I had three girls on my team. So it was pretty much like a revolving door. And for me, they would come and be like, they'd be holding their side. And I'd just look at them. I'd go, ah, I don't want to know. Go. Just go home. Go home. I have tramps. They probably did it because they knew how weirded out he got. Because I've worked in plenty of... places with women, and it's not just so easy to go up to a male manager. You know what? I bet if it's a woman manager, it happens so much less. If it's a woman manager, I bet it happens so much less. You want to know why? Because they call BS. They're like, really? I bet a woman knows, and then a woman knows when it's BS. Really? I think it's the opposite. No, because I would never, I'd be so embarrassed to go up to a male manager and be like, I have to go, I have cramps. But a woman, I can be like, look, I'm so sorry. I'm just, you know. Oh my God, I totally agree with the guys on that one. See, because I think a woman would know. Depending on the relationship, like I think that Sienna could say to her male boss anytime, she could be like, I got cramps, I'm going home. You know what I mean? I got cramps, I'm leaving. And a guy would be, she has that type of relationship.

50:11Whereas Pepper's a little bit more shy. Professional. Professional. Yeah. And so I think it would be harder for you. But I think that if a woman has a relationship with her male manager where she could just, like, talk to him, she could pull the I've got cramps bit, and he would say, oh, yeah, go home. I've never done it in a work environment, but I've definitely pulled that card, like, in high school. School? Getting out of a test and stuff. I had a bunch of girl employees, and they never pulled it. Really? They knew better. What about you? Have you ever done it, Pepper? I think I've done it with friends and family members, but never school or work. Do we have one that we can use, guys? What? No. The headache bit's always a good one. Migraines. Number three is always a good one. Number three bit. I actually had a boss tell me once, if that happened, like a number three, just leave. I don't even need to know. Just go. Just leave. He felt he needed to just let you know ahead of time. He called it a Code Brown. How? If you ever had a Code Brown, you could just go. Oh, my God. I had an employee that always got food poisoning. Yeah. That's such a weak man. Maybe you should stop eating at that same place. Bro, the food poisoning is the dumbest thing ever because it doesn't happen very often. I was a manager, dude, and that was like, and that was funny because I was that guy before. Once I became a manager, I got to hear all the bits and the excuses.

51:33I think I have food poisoning. And I'd be like, really? Fine. It's a code word for hangover. Take the day off. I'm able to see you throw up. Yeah. Yeah, did you ever use that excuse, Woodsy? Oh, of course. You did? Yeah. Because of food poisoning. Has anyone ever had food poisoning? Yeah. I used it because it was legit one time. What'd you eat? Mexican food. What'd you eat? Do you remember? It was an enchilada. Of course I remembered. Do you remember Pepper? I had some ambiguous seafood. I've heard seafood. Seafood, yeah. Isn't the deal with food poisoning, though, is that it, does it happen right away? It happens right away. Because your body wants to get rid of it, doesn't it? No, it takes like four to six hours. Okay, so you have dinner at seven o'clock on a Thursday night. And so it's, you're done by time for work the next day. No, it doesn't get out of your system right away. I've had it both ways. What does that mean? Where it's happened in 45 minutes where I was just deadly ill, and then I've had it where I ate it, and then the next day I was done for a week. What was your, what did you eat? Do you remember, Jay, in both cases? I did this mountain bike ride from Rosarita to Ensenada. Oh, boy. And when we got there, we got to, there's like a hotel, and they were doing ceviche. Ceviche? Ceviche.

52:54Ceviche. All right. You know what I'm saying. I know. And they brought buckets of it out. Now, if you don't know what ceviche is, they take raw shrimp. And fish. And fish. And the way that they cook it is with the acid of limes. They just take lime juice and pour it all over the seafood. And the acid in the lime juice cooks it. Yep. There's a lot that could go wrong there. Oh, and I ate, I mean, I ate buckets of it. Question. Gross. When you were eating it, did it taste good? That's the thing that kills me. Hey, was it before the bike ride or after? It was right after. I was starving. I left my wallet, everything in the car that was going to be the support vehicle. So we get there and we don't have any money. We don't have any other clothes. We don't have anything. But there's these buckets of ceviche. Oh, my God. Cerveza. I don't know. And I ate and ate and ate. And I was violently ill for two days. And then finally I had to go to the doctor because they thought I had a parasite. Yeah. Oh, perfect. So you would not believe the test you have to do to find out if you have a parasite. I don't want to. I don't want to know. It seems like there's more qualified people that should be doing that test to me besides myself. I had food poisoning from a wontons before too. Yeah. I had too many wontons. Probably Indian food. Did you eat a lot of them?

54:14It was when I was little. And I don't know if it's food poisoning or not because I was really young, but I was throwing up all night and I have not, to this day, have eaten wonton. Because you know what? One of the things that's consistent in hearing these stories is that a lot of times people ate a lot. No. A lot. Well, I drank from a waterfall at Big Sur. Oh. I thought like, oh, it's fresh spring water. It's over the rocks. It's fine. Lauren. Hiking and I was like gulping it. Oh, dude. And yeah, the whole parasite bit. Weird. Meanwhile, there's a camper. Yeah. About a mile upstream that's doing his, you know. Yeah, doing his business. I don't even want to think about it. I was like showering in it. Yeah. Yeah, she's showering. I love nature. Glug, glug, glug. I was. I feel so free. This is the best tasting water I've ever had. It's so pure. It's so pure. This is so delicious. This is the best waterfall I've ever seen. That's Lauren. Ew, I know. What was I thinking? Look at the brown trout. At the time, I lived on the East Coast and I came out here and was like, California's pure. No. No, it's not. Oh, no, it's not. A hippie. Oh, yeah.

55:29Rest in peace. I'm picking the music today. I'm Victoria's B.I.G. Did you guys hear about the woman that had the real bad migraines and passed out when she woke up? She had a Chinese accent? I told this story yesterday, but if you may have missed it, I'm gonna... I'll show you what that 911 call may have sounded like. Plus, have you heard about the new social networking for creeps? Will. I think that people are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. On FM 94.9. Do you remember when you used Dial-Up to access the internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed. And now you're doing more and more on the internet. Facebook and Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with Dial-Up. And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than Dial-Up? Here's the deal. If you want super fast internet without all the lag you get with DSL,

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1:02:58Looks like the 56 westbound ramp to the 5. We've got an accident on the right shoulder. It hit the center median, then veered across lanes over to the other right shoulder. Fairmont Avenue westbound ramp to the 8. We've got an accident again. This one's sitting on the left shoulder. It's a single SUV went up the embankment after it spun out. You just got to slow down when it starts raining. Toyota owners, there is no better time to visit your neighborhood Toyota dealership for your maintenance. State-of-the-art technology, factory-trained technicians, and those competitive prices, they're going to have you smiling. confidence. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Morning at five o'clock as the day begins. Silently closing their bedroom door. Little Beatles. She's leaving home. This is Sergeant Peppers. Welcome back. It's a Mikey show. Was it the Little Beatles or the Beatles? It was the Little Beatles. The Little Beatles. That's right. The candy in my ears. I love it too, man. Love that song from the Beatles. Mikey's show is myself, Woodsy, Pepper O'Brien, Sienna, and our boy Jay. And you can call us if you want to, 570-1949. And you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. How much do teens text?

1:04:32And I would say this about teenagers and texting. It's probably not much different than most adults because I text a lot. I do. And I'm a 39-year-old adult, so does Woodsy. How many texts would you say on average you send a day? I don't know for sure, but if I had to take a guess, I'd say probably 20, 25. No way more than that. More than 25? Yes. I don't think I do, but maybe I do. Michael. Really? Yeah. How many do you guys think? 70? No way in the world. I text my wife probably 50 times a day. I text you probably 20. So you're talking about when you actually, okay. You know what? I was thinking individuals. Oh, no. No, no. Total number of texts. I wasn't even thinking that. You weren't even thinking that. You weren't thinking that. Total number of hitting send on a text. Well, this is sending, not receiving. Sending. I probably press send on a text. 25 times a day, but these guys think it's 70. Way more. Oh, my goodness. Really? Lauren, do you send that many? I probably send about, yeah, 25. I think I send like five. I'm like 50 to 70. Right? Yeah. On average, some days I send like two. What about teenagers? Teenagers? Well, one in three teens send more than 100 text messages a day. I buy it. The majority of them are the girls because the girls in their late teens.

1:05:50Apparently, they send around $3,000 a month. Oh, gosh. Girl teenagers. See, we used to have notes. Yeah. The kids not do notes anymore. They don't do notes. You text. And a big thing, too, is they don't want to call and talk to the parents. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. So they text their friends' phones, and they probably have a certain amount of minutes that they can have on the cell phone. Unlimited text. OMG. Yeah. Unlimited text. B-word. Boys, typically. How many times do you think the words OMG have been typed onto a cell phone? 70 million. 70 million. Yeah, I bet it is. Easily. 100 million. I bet it's not far from. I typed OMG yesterday in my recap. I typed Coolio yesterday to Mike. I did in the email. With a smiley face. Yeah, with a smiley face. Wow. It says that boys typically send around 30 texts a day. The boy teens. And actually, this is kind of interesting. 64% of parents read their child's text messages. And 62% will take the phones away. Gosh. That's mean. You would do that. I'm in that 62%. Yeah. You'd read it? I would take it away if I saw something. Something creepy? Mm-hmm. If you saw something come up, if you saw something, if the phone, if your daughter or son's phone was sitting on the counter and you just saw something pop up and you looked up. I think I would occasionally peruse like Jay talked about. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The sneak attack? You have to know what they're up to. You do? The sneak attack. I don't know. I guess they'd have to give me good reason in the first place. Nope. It depends on the type of kid. Like, if they're just like,

1:07:13I don't know. Aren't you teaching them to be shady a little bit? Yes. No, not if you're forthcoming. No, you're like, hey, listen, I'm going to check your phone. They're like, okay, no problem. I'm going to delete everything. But Jay does it on the sly. Yeah, you just don't tell them. Oh, you don't. Yeah, that's the bit. You don't tell them. Except now they're hearing you right now. They don't listen necessarily. They don't listen to this stupid show. They're dead asleep. That's right. Jasper doesn't have a text phone yet, so I don't have to worry about it. Does he have a phone? No, Kim. Please. Well, we're in that age, man. Text messaging is a big deal. All the social networking is a big deal. All that stuff has become so big. I mean, now they have websites that are completely devoted to creeps meeting creeps. No. Hi, I'm Bunny McFadden. You're probably wondering why I'm wearing a bikini, right? The reason is because people come in all shapes and sizes, and that's why I developed CreepHarmony.com, the only website devoted to creeps, four creeps. Here's one of our success stories from the movie Silence of the Lambs, Jane Gunn. I was like, you know, trying to find people, and then I was trying to find love.

1:08:29And I found my beautiful Francesca. And she's a mannequin. And I love her so much. Isn't that right, darling? You see? Oh, wow. Well, listen. Let me tell you something. That's what we're coming to now. Nowadays, there are more websites devoted to creeps. Four creeps. It's a little creep. That's creepy. Pretty like that. By the way, did you miss it yesterday when we were talking about the lady in England? This is nuts. There's a woman in England who is one of the many people that suffers from migraines. And hers apparently are so bad that she had to call 911. She had to get an ambulance over to her house, take her to the hospital. And when she woke up in the hospital...

1:09:29She was speaking another language, basically. No, she had a really bad accent, and it was a Chinese accent. So bad that she hasn't been able to get rid of it, and every time she calls a family or friends, she's been hung up on because they think she's prank calling. No one recognizes her voice. I wonder what that 911 may have sounded like. Emergency services. Maybe it's a good morning for you, but I... What is the matter, my dear? Oh, it's ringing. Oh, I don't know what to do. I can't believe... You're calling 911 for a headache. Oh, it's worse than a headache. It's like a freight train going through the middle of my... Well, what can I do for you, my dear? Well, I'm just thinking that I... Oh, good heavens. Hello? Hello? Hello? Yes, hello. This is emergency services. I was speaking to a young British girl. Would you please put her back on the phone? This is her talking to you now.

1:10:41Very confused this morning. I was speaking to, I believe she said her name was Sarah, or maybe she didn't. That's right. This is Sarah. This is very confusing. This is confusing for me too. Can you help me? I would love to help the young British lady that I just spoke to. This is the same already. I am very confused this morning. I'm sorry for your confusion, but I'm confused too. So, if you can, send someone down here to help me out. Am I being pranked? No, you're not. Can you send someone quickly? Can I send someone creepy? No. Can you send someone quickly? Creepy? No. Creepy. Hmm. Creepy. I shall send my supervisor to see what is going on down there. Okay. Well, thank you very much, and I will send some of you right away. Have a nice day. You too. Real deal right there. I think hmm might be my favorite part of this. I like hmm. Confusion. That's right. It can happen, you know.

1:12:09It did happen. It's a real story. Oh, yes. Yeah, they have a, it's a syndrome. You said it's called other language syndrome. Yeah, well, it was a story yesterday. I don't have the article right in front of me, but it's a legitimate thing. It's a real thing. 570-1949 is our number, and you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. M1 Angie? Yeah. What were you calling about? My nanny kissed my son, and I'm kind of creeped out by it. Wait, wait. How old is your son? He's one. Kissed him how? Kissed him on the lips? Yeah. She was kind of cuddling and being very affectionate towards him. And I got kind of upset about it. Like in a weirdo way? Or like just... It was very loving. It wasn't like X-rated or anything like that. It was just very... Was it a peck? No, it was very cuddling and very loving. Very cuddling and very loving. That's weird. Yeah. I'm with her. That's weird. Well, yeah. I think that's weird to anybody. But if it's like, but I don't. But I was a nanny for a while and I kissed the little boy who I watched all the time. Really? Like I was cuddly with him. I don't think that's weird. People do that. But she's making it seem like it was like really weird. So I don't know. Well, it kind of ups me. I mean, it was.

1:13:39It was kind of motherly, and, I mean, she's been with us for a year, but I just felt like it was kind of stepping over a boundary. And my husband kind of, he thinks it's okay, and I... That was an overreaction. So you just don't like the fact that she kisses your son? I don't like that she's so affectionate with him, no. Don't you think that's good in a way, that she loves him? Well, I mean, I think I had a good job. I don't know that, you know, being so affectionate with him was part of the job. I don't know. I'm bothered by it a lot. Angie. Yes. I'm trying to figure out whether or not this was like, because you're not even saying that you're creeped out. You're just saying that you're bothered by the affection. And which is like, well, that's one thing. If it's creepy, then that's another. That's like a police matter.

1:14:43Okay. Okay. Right. And that's what I thought. I thought like maybe she's being a little dramatic. Yeah. You said that your husband's okay with it and he's seen it. Yeah. She thinks that I'm overreacting. Yeah. I think that you are too. Do you? Yeah. Well, dude, she went from that it was like, she made it sound creepy. Yeah. Well, I mean. Well, she was creeped out by it. She was creeped out by it. She's not saying that the girl was a creep. She's saying she was creeped out by the affection. Do you kiss your son? That's her son. But you just don't like that someone else would? Yeah, I don't like that she's so overly affectionate with him. I just feel like that's a bond that I share with him and that she's stepping over a boundary. What about, like, grandparents? Can grandparents kiss him? Well, sure, but I've never seen my mother or my husband's mother be... overly cuddly with him in that way. See, that's the part that I think that you're being a little dramatic. Overly cuddly. See, I'm that person. You know that implies creepiness? Yeah. Overly cuddly. No, I don't get creepy from that. It doesn't? I get like a... Just affectionate. Just too affectionate. Like you're there to do a job, do your job. Man, isn't it kind of cool that you're...

1:16:07that your nanny cares about your kid that much? You can still care about a kid. I care about Jake, but you're not going to walk in and find Jake's head on my shoulder, us watching TV cuddling. Yeah, but I'm also not going to hire a male nanny. Okay. If you were a girl, if Lauren did, though, it wouldn't, if she came over and she was like, oh, you know, huggy to Jake. Every day. 365 days in a row. I'll use Sienna as an example. I would do it with Jake now. She's an affectionate girl. It wouldn't creep me out if Sienna did. It would be pretty out of character if L.O.B. was like, come here, my little man. Oh, I'm affectionate with kids. You are? Yeah. Then maybe it wouldn't. If it was a dude, get out of here. That's weird. Yeah, I'm calling 911. Get back in your van and beat it now. Exactly. Hit the road, buzzard. Yeah, hit the road, buzzard. I got it. I love it. He's messed up that phrase every time. I got it. Hit the road, buzzard. Yeah, but I don't know. We have a nanny and our nanny doesn't he doesn't kiss Jake on the lips, but she kisses him. You know, she'll get like sometimes when she puts him to bed and he's like, you know, she's putting him down. She'll kiss his forehead. Good night. And I think it's the sweetest thing ever. Well, you know, only a mother knows the alarm that a mother can have. Does that make sense? Like if it bothers her.

1:17:33then she has every right to be bothered. 100%. She's a mother. But in a, let me ask the caller, like, in a creepy, like, you shouldn't be that way with kids, or in a more like, okay, that's my territory and you're overstepping it? I would say that. I mean, I'm not worried about reporting or calling the police or anything like that. It's not in an overtly sexual way. It just feels like a boundary has been opened down. It's like if you've ever seen the movie The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. That's exactly what I thought of. What happens in that? The nanny really wants a baby. So she's willing to kind of make that baby hers and get the mother out of the picture. She's like pushing the mom out of the picture. If you've ever seen that movie. Oh my gosh, don't put that in her mind. I'm just saying that that's what it reminded me and L.O.B. of. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. Dude, that just scared me. It's a horror movie. It's not real life. It's a horror movie. Rebecca? The actress's name is Rebecca? It scared me even more. I have a question.

1:18:32Have you said anything to your nanny? I confronted her. I did. Weird. It made things very awkward. Especially because my husband said I was overreacting and he kind of came to bat for her, which really upset me even more. Like he was taking her side when I was feeling very emotional about the issue and was not comforting me or trying to find a resolve for the issue. I just... So maybe this is kind of why I'm calling like maybe I am overreacting. Maybe I am seeing this through the wrong eyes. But I just feel like. I want to make an observation. Angie, I want to make an observation. You said you confronted her. And already I'm a little nervous about how that conversation would have gone. Because I agree with Woods that you are. completely within your right to talk to your nanny because a boundary has been broken. I'm completely on board with that. But I think that there's a tactful way to go about it. And if you enter it confrontationally, and that's your words, if you enter it confrontationally, I think that that potential for disaster is there. I think there's a way to do it.

1:19:56That could be a lot more, you know, because you mean she could be so turned off that she quits. And it's like, look, I love your child and I'm showing that to him. And if you don't like that, then I'll bring my love somewhere else. That's right. You know, a lot of people calling, man. And that is a part of it. Like I, I do trust her with my child. It was a long interview process. She's been with us for almost the entire year of his life. I would hate to lose her as someone I trust with my child, but I just feel like I just don't want her to have, like, a very close motherly bond with him where I feel like I'm losing that. Like, where she would be. M1RJ. M1RJ, are you there? Yeah, yeah, this nanny's got to quit. And she's got to fire her because this isn't going to get any better. Do you think that it's really bad, RJ, that the nanny... Just listen to her tone. Listen to how she's talking. She's tripping out. She needs more than just to call a radio station. Sounds like she might need some therapy, and that's not to be mean or nothing. That's just being straight. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. I thought you said you need to fire the nanny, but now you're saying that you think that there's something up with... No, he thinks that get rid of the nanny because this situation's not going to get better because the mom is uncomfortable. Oh.

1:21:15Yeah, I think they've got some relational issues. And, you know, I see helicopter parent all over the place here with this. So good luck to you, Angie. Thank you, RJ. Go ahead, Pepper. I don't think it's a matter of her necessarily needing therapy, but I see I kind of agree with what RJ is saying. It's kind of now that it's out there. Angie's going to be looking for it and really uncomfortable with it. And then maybe the nanny's going to be like, okay, is this too much? Is this too much? I don't know. Is this too much? So not that, I don't know. Maybe not necessarily that she needs to let her go, but maybe they need to have another talk that's a little more rational and less emotional. Angie, do you work a lot? Are you gone a lot? Yeah, and I travel as well. And so that's what's hard for you is you think that maybe the nanny's spending more quality time with your son than you get to. Yes, I feel like she's getting a bond with him.

1:22:11Well, I mean, I think that she probably is. But anyone would because they're spending time with him. And I think that regardless, any nanny you're going to get is going to have that bond. And I know that that's hard for you. It would be so hard for me, too, because you can't be there as much as you want. But I think that it's going to be the same situation with anyone. Don't you guys think? I do. But I think that she's within her. I think that it's OK to say if you're uncomfortable with somebody kissing your kid. Yeah. Yeah. then it's totally cool to say... It doesn't really seem like it's the kissing that's maybe the big issue. I think you're right. It's the bond. It's the whole deal. M1 John, are you there, John? Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah, I mean, the nanny's known the kid as long as the mother has, except for the time when he was in the womb. So it sounds like the mom's out of town or out of the picture a little more than she would like to be, and the nanny is the one who is filling in for the motherly role. Unfortunately, the mom sees it that way. But, you know, if the mom's not there, she's going to give the kid that love. Mom, do you have to work? You're only working because you want to. Angie, what do you think of that? Well, I very much enjoy my job. I am a high-level executive, and that was something I discussed with my husband. I did not want to give up my position in order to be like a stay-at-home mom.

1:23:38I respected the fact that I wanted to be career-driven and that we would start a family, but that we would make adjustments for that. And, you know, I love my career and I love my job, and I'm fast-tracked to do very well. Financially, do you have to work? No, we're fine. I was raised in a household where my mother didn't have to work, but she did. I'm 33 now. I haven't talked to her for six years because of the way that she put her career first. That's a certain exception. Yeah, that sounds like an exception. My mom worked my entire life. I talked to my mother every single day. Same with my mom. There's exceptions all over the map. Absolutely. But just be aware that that's a remote possibility. Thanks for the call. We appreciate the phone call. And Angie, I hope that that gets better. I hope that that gets all figured out. Try to just...

1:24:33Maybe cancel some of your away trips and, you know, just try to spend that time together. But you're the child's mom and you have every right to believe whatever you want. Sure. We'll take your phone calls. 570-1949. Yes. Highs on pride. Jersey. It ain't just Jersey, man. We used to rock that back in Brookhurst. I bet. I can't tell you how many times I heard this on my Walkman in the A train. Why did a woman stab her husband over Facebook? Are you surprised at all? Not really. Not really. And also, this is a song that an Icelandic singer, someone from Iceland. Thanks for clearing that up. Came up with to help people pronounce the name of the volcano that's erupting there. You should burn Toby off.

1:25:48Want to hear the rest of it? Wow. Me too. Voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949Mikey at gmail.com This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Check engine. So many things can go wrong with your car. That's why Pep Boys invented one place that can make them all right. Check engine. Right now, Manny, Moe, and Jack present the Pep Boys Spring Tire Event. Buy one tire starting at the incredible low price of $29.99. Buy any two installed tires and get a free oil change. A free oil change. Or buy any three installed tires and get the fourth tire free. After mail-in rebate, buy three, get the fourth tire free. Both offers exclude Cornell. See store for details.

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1:32:41They do have a tow truck on the scene hooking him up. This report brought to you by the Paula Casino. Catch the Professional Bull Riders Touring Pro Division at Paula Casino Spawn Resort, May 22nd and the 23rd. Tickets are on sale now at the Paula Casino box office and startickets.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a rainy blustery Wednesday morning. And it's looking pretty rainy and blustery out there. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaquil Yerba Mate. And today we're looking at pretty nasty surf out there. Real broken up and shifty as you would expect from the windswell cold front passing through. Water is likely to be a little polluted as well. So short and sweet or short and not so sweet. Surf's looking really bunk. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surpline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of the South Coast Surf Shops' five locations. Take advantage of their big-time sale on all South Coast surfboards, either stock or custom. This surf report is brought to you by Gwacky or Mammate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.

1:34:00And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can back up like nobody's business into spots. What I can't do is parallel park. Woods. I drive fast. I smoke. I'm at the radio on. I'm on my phone. Lauren. I like fried chicken. Zienna. I love cruises. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9. Yeah. I love it. Nice woods. We can try. It's doing so catchy. So good. So good. You have to dance to it. Probably the greatest scene in the movie Airplane ever. Yes. Absolutely. Mikey. When it turns into a disco. It turns into a disco. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It feels like every time. If you're watching the camera right now, which you can, by the way. You can watch this on the camera. Just a little bit of a delay. Let me see if he can see it. Once he's doing the scene from Airplane. The disco scene. Fantastic.

1:35:25Welcome back. It's the Mikey Show. You can call us if you want to. 570-1949 is our number. Why did a woman try to stab her husband over Facebook, Sienna? Because she was checking out his Facebook page. He had a suspicious message. He looks suspicious. She was very suspicious, so she asked him about it. He wouldn't respond to her, so she thought it would be a good idea to grab a cooking knife. try to stab him, which luckily she missed. But this is why I don't want Todd to have Facebook. Why? Because you don't trust Todd? No, but like, look at what happens. Yeah, I know. You don't trust Todd. Do you think she would have stabbed him without Facebook? Who knows? She could have come after him with a, she could end up going after Todd with some sort of spatula. Yeah. Todd! Never know. Don't worry. What's happened to her? She was charged with aggravated assault. I would have pressed charges. Oh, man. Can you imagine? Press charges on your wife? What a mess. See you later. Lorena Bobbitt. Hello. Don't bend over for the soap. You know, he probably didn't press charges because he probably was doing something wrong. You think? Never know. Vilify a man. Vilify a man for a message somebody else sent. Yeah. We'll get...

1:36:45Todd, I'll dial in with his face. No. Don't worry. We'll take care of it. I've got the basic outline of what the page is going to look like. It's not like MySpace. You don't design it. Oh, I did for Todd. It's real special. TTG special? That's right. There's a volcano erupting right now in Iceland. It's gorgeous. Those pictures are... They're beautiful. They're beautiful. Really? I saw one yesterday. Have you seen it? Yeah. The snow, right? And then you got the red lava and white lightning. It's beautiful. I mean, it's really gorgeous. It's great. Oh, it is. It's quite a sight. But the volcano has some sort of weird name, you know, because it's Iceland. Iceland. It's like Bjork or something. It's called Bjork. Bishnamen. Barushna. Sigur Rós. But a woman from Iceland wrote a song to help us pronounce the name of the volcano. So smart. And the ukulele, apparently. Ukulele play. Is that the name of the volcano? I think so, yeah. Oh, wow. Glacier. Start it over. I know, right? It's too good. It makes me nauseous. It's too good. Glacier. Really? Okay. The name starts in the beginning.

1:38:09Stop. One more time. Let's hear it. You know what she's saying. She's saying, I think it's cute. Although it's a stolen song. What is it? That's an Ingrid Michaelson song, the back part. Of course it is. Is it really? For real, you recognize this? Ingrid Michaelson, UNI. Weird. Oh my gosh, L-O-B.

1:39:14I'm going to search what you just said. Say it again. Ingrid. Ingrid Michelson. You and I. I think I got it. And what's the name of the song? You and I. Here's you and I by Ingrid. Lauren! Weird, Lauren. Lauren, how does it feel to be the only person in the world that knew that besides the girl that wrote this song? Yeah, besides Ingrid Michaelson. Ingrid, the girl that wrote the other song, and you. Yeah, there are three people in the world that know it. Oh, wow. Yeah, she's the one that sang, it was the Gap, or the Old Navy commercial with the sweaters, the... No way. You'd know it. She's the one that sang the eHarmony commercial. I would be 100% right. There's no question. There's no question. It's the same one. Let's do a mashup. What?

1:40:21Please stop stealing my music. This is like a teacher teaching a first grade class about the volcano. Like this is the way to do it. This is Ingrid Michaelson. You're stealing my song. Please don't steal my music. All I know is I know how to do it now. Oh, let's see. Something's wrong on my computer where I get these. I have to send notes to myself to remind me of everything. It's not sending them to me on time, so I'll forget to, like, drink water and, you know, breathe and swallow and go to the bathroom. With the iCal? Yeah. Yeah. Does yours do that to you? Yep. I don't get it. The message is late. Mm-hmm. Me too. Great. Now I'm not taking my old man vitamins. What's going to happen? Uh-oh. Great. 570-1949 is our phone number. If you want, you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. What's he's excited because he's moving? I am. Right? Super excited. Well, I mean, it's stressful right now, but you'll be really happy once you're in your new place. I cannot wait until we are in our new house. Yeah. Stress level, scale of 1 to 10? 12. Oh, wow. I feel you, bro. 12. It's pretty stressful moving. Wow. So you're packing your place, right? Yeah, packing up my place. Got to get the keys to the new place. We got to go home to Dallas.

1:41:46get that place ready to be sold, and then drive back here, which is going to be amazing. With five dogs. Yeah, it's rough, man. That won't be tough, though, right? Driving back with five dogs that have to go to the bathroom every once in a while. Right, and that's what I was telling Sienna this morning. We got here at the same time, and I go, I can't wait to spend that time with Jamie. Like, I haven't gotten to see her. Like, that's 22 hours we'll get to. talk and visit. Really? You're looking forward to a car ride? Yeah, we always have fun. We're going to videotape the whole thing on our new flip. We're going to make a trip out of it. I asked Woods. I was like, so are you going to put the dogs in a kennel or anything like that in the back seat? No, of course not. They run free. There's going to be the dogs all. He and Jamie in the front with five dogs in the front. The shooter will be in the back because he's big. And the four, like I'll have two on my lap. She'll have two on hers for probably 22 hours. For those of you that don't know, Woodsy has little Yorkies. Yeah, four Yorkies in a lab, black lab. Do they put their head out the window? Yeah.

1:42:47They love it. Oh, my gosh. So two out the front window on one side, two out the front window on the other side, and a lab out the side. Yeah, it's just like, and like, here's the thing. Okay, so my stress level is coming from this. When do we leave Dallas? How long is it going to take us? Where's our checking point? Are we going to find a hotel where we have, that'll take five dogs? Do we need to drive straight through? When are our movers going to be here? There's a five-day window that could come at any time. What if we're without furniture for five days? What are we going to do that? Oh, yeah. Why is this costing me $50,000 to move? Why do we run a house with four bedrooms? I'm just like, at this point, I'm like. The big one that stuck out to me was you have to find a place that you guys can stop at on your road trip that will take the dog. That's a big one. It's a big one. Like, we may just go straight through. You research any of that on the internet? I mean, no. I mean, here's the deal. There are places that will take a dog, two dogs. We're going to eventually have to sneak the dogs in. I'm fully aware. They fit in a purse. I'm not camping. Why not? Because I'm a grown man. Why don't you camp, dude? Camp where? Dude, there's KOA sites, first of all, all over the place. And there's national parks all the way. You know what KOA stands for? Killers of America. I'll get slayed. That's what we did. We camped on the way. No way. We pulled over the big truck. I actually slept out underneath the stars. Weird. Texas is a place called Texas Canyon Campground. It was beautiful.

1:44:14I'm not going to camp. I'm not camping. Jay told me he can fit four family members to sleep in his truck. Where do I shower? What? There's showers a lot of times. In a stream, man. Yeah. In a stream. Lauren. What? You know L-O-B and J would camp. Yeah, I have camped. I've driven cross-country a few times. You scramble some eggs in an empty can. That's great. You guys. Yeah, I'm not Jack Kerouac, dude. It's 2010. There are like some fancy camp gear out there for you, Sally. That's three grand I've got to go spend. I want a mattress with soft sheets and a nice warm shower. Yeah, I want a shower. I don't want to stress you out more, dude, but you've got problems in the small amount of time you're staying. in your place now, bro. Why? What? Gangs, dude. I've seen them. In North Park? Yeah, dude. There's dudes sniffing around your yard, bro. I hate to tell you, there's gang members, dude. Gay members or gang members? Gang members, bro. Because the first one I would have believed. Yeah. Well, I'm telling you, that's what it is. You got problems. Gangs. Yeah. Roaming. There's roving bands of gangs in North Park.

1:45:22I'm telling you, dude, this ain't Texas, man. I can spot gang members. It's a Brooklyn thing. Wow. Well, now I'm kind of flipped out. It's only natural that me and you are targets anyway. Why? Because you're a celebrity and I'm your best friend. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. A, I don't really consider myself a celebrity. Let me tell you about my best friend, man. It's that celebrity sitting over there. Steve Woods. Phillip Rivers. He was on the news last night. You were on the news. He was on the news, two news stations. Wow. I'm telling you, bro, I know what it's like being the best friend of a celebrity. It's the life I chose. It's the life I chose being the best friend of a celebrity. And I chose this. I have to live with what comes with it. We're not even best friends. Yeah, we are, dude. We are best friends. We have a bond. A bond? Why do you have to tell him that you're not best friends? Well, because we never hung out one time. You hang out in here every day. You gotta get protection against these guys, man. Like?

1:46:31I got a switchblade comb, man. Oh, wow. Dude, I'm telling you. What are you in West Side Stories? Yeah, it freaks people out. You pull it out and then you're like, ah, psych, I'm combing my hair. It's a switchblade comb. Psych. When's the last time someone said psych? Psych. 20 seconds ago, bro. Bro. I'm not a bro. Hey, man, so what happens when you TTs? What's that? TTs? Don't talk about her TTs that way. I know. No, dude. Me and you are TTs. What's that? Tall and tough. Tall and tough? So we're TTs, man. Stop it. Tall and tough. Who made up that phrase? Maybe it's a Brooklyn thing. I don't know if you'll say that in San Diego. I've never heard it. I've never heard it anywhere. TTs, dude. It's two best friends. A TT is what a little baby calls his piece. Yeah. A little kid. My TT. A TT. No, it is not. That's what it means. No, it isn't. Or when you have to go potty, when you're a little baby, you're going to go TT. It's PP, not TT. It's TT. In Texas, it's TT. It's TT in Texas. Yeah. Maybe it is. I'm just saying, we're tall and tough. And when you are.

1:47:41TTs. Your gang targets? Freaky, how tall are you? Your gang targets. I'm six foot tree. No, you're not. Yeah, I am. I mean, you're not short, but you're not 6'3". You're like 5'11". He's like 5'9". Whatever, we're taking karate, dude. Karate? Karate? It's pronounced karate. Have you ever taken karate before? Yeah, I'm a purple belt. This report is brought to you by account temps matching highly skilled temporary. Frankie, see, that's what happens when you get close to the board. You start pushing buttons. Stop pushing buttons, dude. Sorry, it was my iPod. Back off. It was my iPod. I'm a purple belt. Oh, wow. Isn't that like the third belt? I don't know. I know it's not black. Who even cares, dude? It's protection against violence. Sure. Sure, you are TT. Yeah, dude. It ain't just the color. It's my ranking. I'm a purple belt. And let me tell you something, bro. I love it, and it's going to protect you. Can I hear some of your, you know how when you do karate, you're like, and you have certain things that you say? I want to hear it. Hayasan, Quran, chop. Right? Wow. I want to see the move. Can you break this board? Yeah. Dude, I can break that board. I can break cement. Can you break through this piece of paper? Yeah, one shot. That I cannot do. One shot.

1:48:57Wait, I need that article. Give him a used one. Let me try it. A used one. No, no, no, no. Here, here, here, here. Are you ready? Oh, yeah. Go. He didn't do it. He didn't get it. He didn't get it. He can't get it. Dude, I'm only a purple belt. You can't get through a piece of paint. I feel real safe now. Don't. You're not holding it tight enough. Yes, dude. You're not holding it tight enough. You're not acting like a gi right now, man. I don't think you've ever taken a day in karate in your life. No kidding. Don't pull your comb on me, dude. Will you be in karate with me? No. Dude, we get to wear gis and we'll be gi together. What's gi? We wear gis. I'm not wearing a gi with you. Come on, dude. Get into it. Let's get gis. What is gi? It's a gi. It's like the kimono.

1:50:00What you would call a purse. The white thing? That's what you would call a purse. They're called geese. You don't understand because you're not into karate like I am, man. I guess not. But we'll get geese. The clothes? Those look comfortable. I'm not taking karate. Did you say no, sensei? Yeah, I did, man. Really? Yeah. Hey, let me tell you something, man. Growing up in Brooklyn as the only Italian gymnast, I had to grow up as a gym to offend myself. What? I'm learning so much about you right now. I'm going to step up in this friendship woods. I did. I got stuff going on. I'm moving. Like, come on. I don't have time for karate. I'm Barney Rubble to your Fred Flintstone. Fair enough, dude, but I have to move and stuff. I'm Starsky to your hutch. You are like a Barney Rubble to your Fred Flintstone. I know. Yeah, literally. Captain, I'm Tennille. Come on, dude. Come on, man. Tennille's a woman. Yeah. Excuse me. I didn't know. Color me embarrassed. I'm not taking karate. We're taking karate. You can take karate, then you can teach me in the studio. You can make karate. Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. That makes no sense. You can take it, all right? It's good for your toughness, pal. Just like tough. Yeah, I'm pretty tough, and I'm married, so. Plus, white's a good color for you. It brings out your eyes. It makes you look tanner. Does it? I think it makes me look whiter. Listen to this from Jay's recap. I want to see what you guys think about this. This is kind of interesting. Jay says, he says, I know.

1:51:25That I've beaten the Coachella bit around quite a bit. He says, but you know you're getting old. And it blew my mind that some of these young girls and what they were wearing to the show. Thong bikinis to a concert. Why didn't I see those? Not surprised. He says, I saw it. And he says, and all I mean is, I saw it. Creepy. What are you complaining about, pal? He has a teenage daughter. He's got a teenage daughter. Yeah, I guess. Were these girls teens? Yeah, they were young. I mean, they were young and they were wasted. Solid. That's what worries me is creepy guy. These two girls are together.

1:52:13thong, one's wearing a thong, one's wearing a one-piece that's way up in a crack, and boots. And I'm just like, first off, you look hideous. Secondly, I'm like, you get wasted. Next thing you know, somebody's taking advantage of you. Who wears a thong anyway? Do you live in Brazil? No, I don't think the ones that I see, because I see a lot of 14-year-old girls wearing these tiny, and they're not thong, they're Brazilian cut. These were thongs. These were thongs. Thongs? Frankie wears thongs. You shouldn't wear them. No, dude. It was insane. Banana hammer. Next year I'm going to have to take a camera just to prove my point. Yeah. That would be really creepy, dude. Sure, that's the only reason. Jay Woods? Yeah. What kind of underwear do you have? Oh, Frankie. I'm wearing boxers or commando. I'm not wearing any. Yeah, I'm not either today. Yeah, I don't need to know this. Why? What do you have, Frankie? I got a thong on. Ew. He doesn't like the anywhere line. That's what he wears to karate. That's how smooth his bottom is. Is that like a Brooklyn thing or you don't wear that in San Diego? No. Girls do. It's a European thing. We don't wear assless chaps either. No, we don't wear assless chaps either. You don't? No. That's a Brooklyn thing? That's a Brooklyn thing. Allegedly. That's what you say. According to you. Hey, listen. I don't know the ways to San Diego yet. You know, I'm figuring it out. Well, we'll help you because.

1:53:33The thong's got to go. Yeah, it's got to go. It's underwear. Nobody sees it. Girls, you just told us about it. Well, yeah, because everybody was acting like they were weird. Girls will see it. Your girlfriend. Yeah, well. You don't have one. I don't have any complaints yet. Oh, sure. It's hard to get complaints when you don't have any customers. She's got a point, Frankie. Yes, she does. I walked out of a... sandwich place the other day. Weird. And there were girls and they were like 12 years old and I know they were 12 because they had that chubby doughy look. You know what I mean though? That look when you're 12. It doesn't matter how skinny you are. You got that chubby face. It's the look of youth. Mine's gone away. And I'm telling you man it was Ew. Skanky? The dressing was skanky. There's nothing left of the imagination anymore. I grew up in Connecticut. Turtlenecks were required on a daily basis. It was like that's what they wore. They wore turtlenecks and sweaters and huge jackets. Well, I'm just thinking, hey, listen, I'm 39. I'm thinking back to high school. I graduated. Well, I didn't graduate. I got a GED. I was in high school in 88. I was a senior. Acid wash jeans. Yeah, but with girls, they didn't really get.

1:55:00Like, they weren't showing. They weren't whorish. They weren't. Now, that's how it is. And I want all three of you guys to put on your little honesty caps real quick. Yeah. I'm going to ask you a question. Go for it. I was just going to say yes, 100%. Have you guys been out in public, maybe to a restaurant or something, and you see a cute girl walk in, but you can't see her face. You can only see her from behind, and you think, wow, she looks pretty good. And then she turns around, and she's 12, 13. Oh, absolutely. 100 times. It's gross. They dress older. It was me and Mikey and Rebecca were at Benihana. And we walked in and there was this girl walked by. She was, I don't know, six feet tall. Yeah. Probably 14. I was like, oh my God. I looked at her from the rear, not at her rear, from the rear. And I said, I'm just digging a hole. I looked at her from behind. That's still creepy. I was behind her, gazing at her. That's still creepy. And I saw her and she turned around. I was like, she was like 14. Yeah. You know what it is? Six feet tall though. And that's the other thing. Rebecca and I were talking about this. Rebecca said she was driving by a junior high and she said that she saw a bunch of girls out running track. She goes, babe, I'm not kidding you. It looked like they were wearing bra and panties. And I'm like, OK, over exaggerator. I go, what were they really wearing? She goes, no, you don't get it. She goes, they were wearing like boy shorts and they were wearing like a sports bra that looked like a bra. And I mean, yeah.

1:56:24She's a sports bra? And she goes, and what really creeps me out is she goes, you know that their coach is a dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. My sisters, they play volleyball. And I used to play volleyball. And I don't remember my spandex showing the bottom of my butt cheeks. That's the deal. But apparently, like, that's how it is now. And I always say. pull your spandex down. Sienna, I don't want to. She has the same voice as me. Yeah, exact same voice. And she's like, Sienna, I'll be made fun of. Don't make fun of me. Listen, are we old? You know who's to blame for that? Britney Spears. Miley Cyrus. Who was I thinking? Lady Gaga. No, they're too new. The young girl. Yeah. Yeah. But you think that they're not influenced by Lady Gaga? Yeah. I don't think anyone is. I think Britney Spears is one that started the whole little clothing thing. Yes, with the Catholic school girl. She was 16. Hit me, baby, one more time. I mean, at that time, I was like 20.

1:57:294, 25, and I was like, oh my God. I was like, who is that? 570-1949. I guess, I don't even know if there's a topic here, but if there was, the topic would be, are we nuts? We're getting old. Yeah, maybe it's that we're getting old and we're old. I don't think it's that. If that's the case, 570-1949. And I want to hear from dads. Oh, yeah. Specifically. Can we stop it? And I want to hear from moms, and what I want to hear is, Because I suggested this to Rebecca, and Rebecca goes, I don't know. Is the deal that their parents think they're wearing something different, but then they get to school and they put on the bra and the panties? They do the change bit? Yeah, in some situations they do, but there's parents that think that the kids look good. Mike, get on your knees and thank the Lord that you are blessed. Three boys. Three lovely boys. Three boys. Yep. This is the best song in the entire world, Mikey. Hello? Miss and Billy Joel. Call us right now, 570-194. We'll talk about it next. Coming to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Next Tuesday night, the 27th, Rogue Wave will play at the Belly Up.

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2:06:00shoulder so you can get through now um if you are headed up towards sunrise highway at the eight we've got a car that spun out truck hit a guardrail it's because these roads are covered in snow yep it's that spring snow this report is brought to you by kaiser permanente kaiser permanente southern california's earned a combined total of eight out of eight starts for clinical care and member satisfaction that's in the recent hmo quality report card from the california office of the patient advocate kaiser permanente thrive. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Ant Farm, that's Smooth Criminal. I'm picking the music today. Hi. My name's Mike. Hi, Mike. I'm dressed differently. Yeah, you are. Yeah. Like it. You look like Jay. You do look like Jay. A hiccup right there. You do look like Jay. Oh, excuse me. Trying something new. No more cargoes. I'm off, too. Yes. I wore some yesterday down to get the mail. I felt like an idiot. You cut the cord. Kids made it right. I felt like an idiot. I'm thinking, oh, thank you, Woodsy. Oh, my goodness. Woodsy's good. Well, I mean, you know, here's the thing. Don't wear them. I'm just, I'm tossing mine. You are? Mm-hmm. Let's give them a good will. Okay. We'll get them together. We'll give them to charity.

2:07:58Who liked cargo shorts and fought for cargo shorts like a month ago? I can fully admit when I'm wrong. Still wearing them. Unlike most females that I know. Oh, get it. Well, you're the one that said, you girls, you ladies, you shamed us right out of them. I look. 10 times better in my new shorts than I do in my old ones. I mean, like, I was looking at myself in the mirror. I have big, tall mirrors in my room, and I had them on to go get the mail because they were on the floor. And I looked at them and I go, you're a dork. They're bulky and, like, just, they're like this. I was walking. They're human. You idiot. It's like, why would you guys do that? Yeah, why am I accentuating giant hips? Yeah. Have you ever even put anything in the side pockets? Never. No. You mean when I'm camping and out in the wilderness? Don't you keep your wallet and keys and all that junk? In my regular pockets. 570-1949. The topic is young teenagers dressing skanky. Phones were blowing up. M1 Dave. Hey, what's going on, Mikey? What's happening, bro? Not much. Just kind of kicking it. But yeah, I was just calling in to let you guys know that.

2:09:09The big thing in high school now are these pimp and hoe parties. No way. That's ridiculous. Yeah, and the girls are, you know, I mean, the girls are required to basically go out and get lingerie for these parties. And, yeah, there's probably like a 10 to 1 guy to girl ratio. Is every parent on vacation? Is that the deal? Like if you, if I know my daughter is going to a pimp and hoe party. Yeah. I'm like. I guarantee the parents don't know that. Oh, they do. I don't think I ever told my parents I was going to a pimp and hoe party. You don't tell them. You just go there. You see, you can't do anything about it. As a parent, you can't do anything about it. No. Well, I remember my friend was the one throwing the party and her parents were out of town. And so we just went and got ready there. And your parents don't know that you're taking your hoe clothes? Can you imagine explaining that to them? Oh, you see what happens is the guys, they go and they dress as our pimps. And then we go. We dress like hoes. We look like hoes. Hey, Mom. What is a ho, Lauren? Oh, sorry. I'm going to dress like a prostitute. It's short for whore. It's short for whore. I'm going to dress like a prostitute, Mom. And so because I don't drive yet, I need you to give me a ride to the mall. And, you know, can you give me the money to get my prostitute outfit? Yes. Because I got to dress like a prostitute. Oh, gosh.

2:10:32It's a pimp and prostitute party. It's basically, yes. It's a pimp and prostitute underage party. I mean. It was like when you were in high school, though. When I was there, it was like, it was fun. Oh, I know. No, they're doing it because it's painful. Of course they're doing it because it's fun. I know. As a parent, as a parent, I don't want my kid dressing like a prostitute. It's terrifying. It's terrifying. What about your son is a pimp? Yeah. You're probably proud of him. That's funny. Being a pimp is not funny, though, dude. I know it isn't. Those dudes are mean. But maybe you don't say. When I was a pimp, I was a mean pimp. I guess you can pass off the pimp outfit as something other than a pimp. I could say. Like what? I don't know. One of the Commodores? I was just going to say, you're a Commodore. I was thinking like the Humpty guy. Really? I come in, I go, I'm an earth, wind, and fire. I go, okay, great. Jake walks in in a purple suit with a hat with a feather and he's got a cane. Right. Where are you off to? It's a Commodore's party. I'll see you later. I'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah. But if my daughter came in and she's wearing a nightie, I'm like, really? Ew, that word is gross. A teddy. It is gross. I like nighties. She's wearing a nightie. A teddy. I say nightie all the time. I love that. It is gross. It's like a silky nightie. How old were you when you went to this thing? Fourteen.

2:11:56Frankie, chill out. Oh, my gosh. It was my first, I remember it was like one of the first big parties I went to. I was a freshman, yeah. M1 Elise works at a high school. Elise, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Talk to me. Yeah, I work at a high school and we're all dreading like the hot months coming because the girls, I mean, it's near the beach, so there are a bunch of surfers and, you know, beach bums, but the girls are just awful. Like, I'm trying to work. And I have this leopard print bra, like, staring me in the face. Weird. Okay, so, Elise, Elise, you're going to know way more about this than we do. Are these kids, do you ever talk to their parents or no? No, I don't. I'm not a teacher. I'm an interpreter, so I'm not really involved with the kids too much. But I can imagine parents saying, bye, have a good day. Is that what happens? So they say, bye, have a good day. The kid leaves, changes in her car or over at her friend's house, and then goes to school. Dressed all, you know, skanky. I can only imagine. I mean, you guys are saying, like, are we old? But I'm only 21. Yeah, she sounds good. You're not old. It's, like, horrible, you know? There's more, like, hormonal boys trying to focus at school with these, like, girls the way they're dressed. It's horrible. I will say this. I will say this. And I told my wife this. I was absolutely hormonal when I was a teenager and everything. However, I will say that I...

2:13:23I just wasn't that kid that was like really all about the way that they were dressing because I just wasn't mature enough. I think it's more guys in their 20s and 30s that are into the girls dressing like that than it is teenage boys. Oh, creepos. Yeah, it's the creepos. Yeah. Go ahead, Lauren. When I was in high school, which was longer than I cared to wish it was, but it was not that long ago, like 10 years ago. We had a really strict dress code when we had the principal pass down and the teachers would go around and we had our straps on our tank tops had to be more than an inch thick. And there was no bra straps or anything. You would get sent home. If you didn't have gym clothes in your locker, you would get sent home and your parent will be called and they had to pick you up. And the reason was she's not dressed properly. Wow. You just made the light bulb go off in my head. That's the question. I've got it. The topic here is. Why are schools letting girls wear bras to school? No, schools have dress codes. You can't wear spaghetti strap at a lot of schools. Elise, wait. I don't know if they enforce them because, I mean, I would argue that because a lot of the teachers are like, oh, well, if we do something, if we send them to the office, they're not going to do anything about it. And then we're the bad people, you know? Wait, wait. You're saying that the teachers feel like if they send the girls to the office, nothing's...

2:14:50It has to start from the top down. I have a solution. What? Uniforms. Thanks. I'm fine. That's private schools. No, it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be. Why not put them in uniforms? I'm a performer. Think if you're like, if I'm a, okay, I would never do it when I was a kid. I'd be like, no. Me too. If I'm a parent, I'm like, put my kid in a uniform. You know why? He doesn't get made fun of because he doesn't have the right clothes. Because he looks the same as everybody else. Right. Two, he's not going to get in trouble or she's not going to get in trouble for what she's wearing. Yep. I mean, those are two really, really. Dude, when I had my strawberry puffy jean jacket and I almost got killed for, like what if I was just in my regular uniform? Nobody could have said a word to me. How about my Snuffleupagus purple? Your purple members only jacket. No, kids should have. I wore a uniform for nine years and then I finally got to wear my own clothes. Kids should be able to wear what they want. Sure, on the weekends. Absolutely. And I can only speak from experience, but I know my sisters who both go to La Jolla High right now, one's a freshman, one's a junior, and they have friends that go to other schools and schools that wear uniforms. All the schools enforce the rules. I've heard my sister say, no, I can't wear these shorts to school, but they can wear them on the weekends and stuff like that. Really? Yeah, you've got to have individualism. Sure you do, man, but not when they're 14. No, we don't. You can have options for your uniform. Can you not be an individual and go to Catholic school or go to a school with a uniform? Hello, I also know of a Catholic school where my sister was telling me that...

2:16:14There are girls there that wear their Catholic school skirt, and they don't wear underwear underneath. Are you going to enforce that? Oh, my gosh. What the heck is going on? That's crazy. They find a way to get around it. To get around what? What are they trying to do? Be whores? I'm not saying. Mission accomplished. It's a great idea. I think it's disgusting, too. That's the deal, too. I'm like, congratulations. You're a whore. You get an award. Now, here's more old guy. I'm an old guy now. I mean, here's more. How stoked would you have been in high school? I really do think it's all the culture. I think it's a culture. I think it is too, dude. I think the culture's rotten and the kids are dressing rotten. You see Miley Cyrus giving lap dances and being all provocative and sexy. You see her nine-year-old sister with a lingerie line. Right. Allegedly. Last week, it was my sister's birthday. She turned 15, and she was wearing this little dress to dinner. And I was like, Waverly, that dress is too short. I am more strict than my mom when it comes to her clothes, and anyone knows that. And she's like, I have spandex shorts underneath. And I'm like, people don't know that. If you're just walking on the street, though, the creepy old guys that are like, look at her in that short dress. But she's like, but I have shorts. And I'm like, it doesn't matter. Yeah, see, here's my thing. Please give me boys. I know it. My thing is, is that...

2:17:34And I know that a lot of people are saying, and by the way, call in if you have something on it. We got phone lines blowing up, but I got two lines available. My thought is a lot of people are probably saying to themselves, it's the parent's job to instill ya, ya, ya, ya, ya. And I agree. I totally agree. However, my issue, and really all this is is just me, you know, stomping my feet, is... Soapbox bit? Yeah, my kid's got to go. It isn't even a soapbox bit. It's just me going, my kid's got to go to school with your kid. And that's the issue. Like, I can do whatever I do with my kid, and then your kid's doing what your kid's doing. The majority of the places that sell, like, all the cute stuff that are in style, they're all really short stuff, really little. And that's the thing. It's like, fine, are you going to have your kid be the dork that's wearing the dorky clothes? Put him in a uniform. My goodness. And then they're going to hate you. Sienna's kind of right, and Woodsy, I'm on board. I am too. I love the idea of uniforms. I've always thought about sending. Now, listen, Sienna, I get it. Like, I went to private school. I didn't turn, you know, whatever. Like, there's people at private school that are shady. I think I might bust my ass to send my kid to private school because I have two cousins that both went to private school. They're perfect children. I'm not saying.

2:18:53That's why. But it's just so much less. You and I are obviously perfect since we weren't there. Well, right. I agree with that. You know what I mean? I think I'm going to really do that for my kids. I went to public school. I mean, I went half and half. And I loved picking out my clothes. And I worked all through high school. And I bought my own clothes that my parents, outside of the beginning of the school year, were like the necessities. I bought my own stuff. But I used to wish. that we had uniforms because I felt a lot of pressure to be like, I have to be cool. This isn't cool enough. This isn't expensive enough. And I felt, and I remember even as a kid being like, I wish I just had, I envied the kids that went to the high schools with the uniforms because you get different options and everything. And then they had like a once a month, wear your own thing. And then it was like, well, then it was really cool. Free dress. The only argument that I can think of to not wearing a uniform is that we need to let them be individuals and that bothers me because i'm like that's what i think our issue is is that we're very like i think that our culture has become very anything is okay right that to me our culture that we live in right now says anything laissez-faire anything is okay just relax now when now when you say there are this is what's interesting to me

2:20:20is that you can still say certain things to people today and they go, well, that's just wrong. Okay, like for instance, let's say that it becomes fashionable that everything is really covered up. In fact, you're wearing a sweater, but it's got a turtleneck up to the top. The only thing showing is your nipples. Now, I say that and people go, oh my gosh, that's crazy. It's coming. I'm telling you. I'm telling you that it's coming. I'm telling you that it's coming because if I had said 15 years ago, hey, what if... The girls are wearing shorts where their butt cheeks are showing. And everybody would have gone, really fantasy land? Well, they did that back in the day, too. And that's a repeated style. Daisy Dukes. Oh, Daisy Dukes. Okay, but to school, they didn't wear that stuff to school when I was going to school. Not 15 years ago, man. They didn't wear it. I've seen in my mom's yearbooks, and they were very short little shorts and stuff like that. Really? Halter Thompson short shorts. Even less. Like, no bras. Yeah. Really? Yes. But that's different.

2:21:25It's not different. It was different. It was different, Sienna. I'd say that parents should do their jobs. I don't think that we should have to wear uniforms. I think parents should have to do their job and make their kids dress right. Okay, so Jasper plays on a soccer team. Okay, I'm with you so far. Right. He just wears whatever he wants. He's the star of it. He just wears whatever he wants. He ties a tie around his head. He puts one knee pad on. No, they have a uniform for a reason. Yeah, why don't the Chargers get to wear whatever jersey they want? Yeah, you put whatever you want on. You're involved in a sport. You're involved in school and in learning. Okay, team, let's go in there and study hard. Absolutely. Absolutely. I love it. I love it, too. You guys. Okay, so at that point, so then I get graded equally with everybody. I'm not working for myself now. I'm working for the classroom. Oh, no, Jay failed, so the team failed. Well, your team sport analogy is not good. That's not why they wear them, though. That's not why they wear them, though. So you can identify the team players. I know. Yes, so you can identify. Like, you think that Rivers is going to just know exactly where all of his chargers are? The shirts obviously help. Uniforms are there for a reason. And the word uniform means everything the same, okay? So if all kids walk into a classroom the same.

2:22:38Mikey's not going to get made fun of for his purple wind shorts. I'm not going to get made fun of for my strawberry jean jacket. Dude, that would have probably saved. You really haven't? Yeah. Part of growing up. Getting your ass kicked and getting made fun of. There was a girl in the news recently that got bullied so bad she killed herself. Well, then maybe the teachers should have been paying more attention. But I'm telling you, if you're wearing a uniform, then you get made fun of for the shoes that you're wearing. Or for that makeup you have on your face. Or for the ugly earrings you have on. Hey, what about M1 Mama Seabass? This is interesting. Mama Seabass, you there? Yes, I'm here. Go ahead. Hi. My 13-year-old went to the same elementary school that my husband and I went to. And when we were there for sixth grade promotion, we got to wear a really nice fancy dress, and the boys would wear slacks and a tie. About five years ago, they switched that up to a navy blue pants and a white polo for everybody because the girls were dressing way too skanky. For their graduation. Yeah, well, I think it probably, I think it solves a lot of issues. I really don't think it takes away from a kid's individuality to tell him, hey, man, this is what you wear to school. It doesn't, that doesn't, what you wear is not who you are. Am I right? Yeah, let's figure it out. In fact, we can figure it out right now. Here's what we do. We go, okay, the argument is that if we have them wear the same outfit, they will not be individuals. Okay, that means this. If that's true.

2:24:06That means that we put them all in uniform and suddenly Lauren stops doing voices and Woodsy stops with all the different phrases that he has. And I stop being a Mexican geek. And, you know, and Sienna stops getting upset that there's no Yum Yum Donuts in La Jolla. Right. Please, we're going to be us. We're going to be us. We're going to be us. Your kids are going to be you. They're going to be them. And I agree with what you guys are saying about the uniforms. I mean. The individual thing, like, I think that kids should have a right to choose what they wear. Really? But I also see your point when it comes to the uniform. And I think that a lot of parents would agree with the uniform rule. But why isn't that in effect? There's got to be a reason. I know why. I know why. Why? Money. Yeah, it's money. It's expensive. It's expensive. And if they had to be issued. You can't make a parent pay for a uniform. It's a public school. Schools don't even have budgets for their teachers. Exactly. They can't even pay teachers. They're cutting band. They're cutting music from schools. If the planet of Mars had money and they loaned the state of California $87 billion. And the state of California could pay off all our debt. And then we had money to spend and money to burn. I wouldn't doubt it that they would go, well.

2:25:22How can we really invest into education? Maybe we throw some uniforms on the kids and they start getting, you know, they start being so distracted because some girls wearing a T-top. Is that a real thing, a T-top? That's not a car, pal. That's a car. Yeah, I mean, again, like, my whole argument with that, dude, and I get what Jay's saying. There's not too many guys that were more individual than I was, and I didn't even ever have to wear uniforms. We didn't even wear them in private school. We didn't even have to at our school. But I'll tell you what. Just because I put a uniform on doesn't make me not me. Yeah, I think Woods made a good point earlier. It's like, are we stressing that individualism comes from material things? Right. Your clothes that you wear? No. Hell no. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The little Andrew Gold. Is this your song to me or Sean? What show is this, Mike? Golden Girls? Mikey! But that's not the theme. They used it. This was a hit on the radio. Uh-huh. Sure it was. I'm going to bring in the Rembrandts tomorrow. I'll be there for you. Oh, I loved it way before it was on Friends. I'm an old Rembrandts fan. I've never seen the Golden Girls. What? I haven't. You know that. It's a great show. I don't like... You know that. Old Blanche. Too soon. She's not dead. Oh, sorry. Blanche is dead.

2:26:49Blanche didn't die? Blanche? She's been dead for years. Blanche? Google Blanche died. Dixie wasn't in Golden Girls. Blanche is alive. Designing women. Blanche is alive. Have we come up with a new way of giving speeding tickets? I hope not. No. That could get you. How many I get on my drive out to California? Woods, be good. Don't litter cigarettes. Four. My stomach just dropped. This is The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. In this episode of Mossy Nissan's Dare to Compare, the reliable Nissan Altima takes on challenger Toyota Camry in a race to the finish. The catch, they each get just one gallon of gas. And here comes the stylish Nissan Altima 2.5 S cruising in for the win. Hey, congratulations, Team Altima. Oh, yeah, thanks, man. It was easy. Our Altima gets better city MPG than that Camry. Yeah, and this car is sweet. Yeah, just like you, babe. And here comes Team Camry.

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2:31:37This report is brought to you by your Ace Hardware Stores. Find great deals that'll turn your spring to-do list into a to-done list right now at your neighborhood Ace Hardware Store. Get in, get help, get on with your life at Ace, the helpful place. 78 eastbound Bear Valley Parkway, an accident, two cars tying up that area. Also, the 52 westbound at Convoy Street, we've got an accident on the right shoulder. A couple cars, looks like their airbags got deployed on one of the vehicles. Also, the 52 westbound at the 15, an accident, pickup truck, and a car they have moved it over to the center divider. This report also brought to you by Sears Auto Centers. Visit the Sears Automotive Center for the best price on all your car needs. Bring in any competitor's offer. Sears will match it guaranteed. Visit SearsAuto.com for more great offers. Sears, life well spent. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick fries. Woods. I don't know what my point is on that, but I just felt like saying it. Okay? Lauren. I washed my hands like a thousand times. I do too. I love salami. And Jay. I was the guy who voted most likely to snap on FM 94.9. Woo-hoo! You know this one? You know it? Yeah. You know this, Woodsy? It sounds like an adult film. Yeah.

2:33:03If you listen, how appropriate. We just finished talking about this. Oh, I know, right? Creeper. Oh, my God. Oh, Brian just got me. Oh, real good. Did you see her creep eyes? Yeah. Did you see her creep eyes? Creep eyes scared me to death. She's like... I'm a creep. I'm a creep. Creeper eyes. Luke stared me down yesterday like he was going to beat me. Weird. Hey, old man. Yeah. Give me the keys. To the freaking car. Your six-month-old son. They're eight. Eight months? Now they're almost nine. Wow. Eight's the cutest. Let me tell you about that, kid. Dad, don't go to sleep tonight. I'm stealing your keys. You better sleep with one. And where's my cigars? Yeah. Dad, you can take the smokes away. I'll find them. Yeah, I'm going to find them. I'm going to find them. Or I'm going to buy new ones. He's going to be your one. That's it. It's so funny. CB, our friend CB, he...

2:34:06saw Luke and Ryan. Yesterday? No, Saturday. And Luke and Ryan are my eight-month-old twin boys. Comes up to Ryan, and he does the, you know, like, I'm clowning for the kid. The James Gum dance? Yeah, the James Gum dance. But he does the, you know, he's making clown faces and stuff, and Ryan's like, just dying laughing. And he does it for a while, and he sees Luke, and he's like, now it's your turn. He's like, yeah. And Luke's just staring at him. Literally. He's like, really, pal? Stone face. Just staring at him. Like right through him. He's just staring right through him. It's the best thing ever. He's so cute. I haven't seen a baby since I announced I'm pregnant. All I want is just to hold one of them right now. I know it. And so I go, he goes, he's just like our daughter. He said, our daughter used to do the same exact thing where you couldn't get her to laugh. Cold blood. And I go, what is she like now? He goes.

2:35:06Drama queen. Oh, no. And, dude, I can tell. I mean, I know that's Luke. I don't think he's going to be a drama queen. No. He's going to be too cool for school. He's going to be James Dean, dude. Here's the deal, though. If he isn't staring at you stone-faced, he's mad. Is he really? Oh, that guy. I thought he was real quiet. I thought he was like the silent assassin. He will be really super quiet. Like, when you see him and he isn't crying, he'll stare through you. Okay? But if it's not that. It's like fit time. Well, it's not. I'm sorry. It isn't fit. It isn't throwing a fit. What it is, is just. And you're like, what? What? He's like, just with the thing. I told you to do the thing. I cannot wait. I hope that we're on the air in 16 years here, sitting here visiting about your son. Who just stole your car. I'm just thinking, Mike, you're going to have a 15-year-old and two 12-year-old boys. I'm telling you, man. 13-year-old boys. I really hope that I get to see them grow up, get married, all that stuff. Which is part of the reason that I started exercising and all that. Because I'm like, I want to be healthy. Be able to see my boys and everything. That's a good thought. It made me warm and tingly. It did? Yeah.

2:36:35That's true. Because, you know, somebody hit me up with it. They were like, you want to see your kids and stuff? Yeah. So I'm trying to be healthy. That's awesome. You know, that's why I'm powering down that burrito. Good job. And I'm looking at the two of them. There's no doubt in my mind that Luker is trouble. Let's see. So what's the new way of giving out speeding tickets? Well, you know, from space. What? Yeah, they're going to have satellites in space. That'll do speeding tickets? That are going to do speeding tickets. Yeah, they're already trying it out in Britain right now. They're high-tech devices that follow driver's progress from miles. Progress in Britain. Progress. Progress. The progress. For miles to calculate whether they have broken speed limits. That's right. They combine the license plate registration technology with global positioning satellites. They can be set up in a network to monitor tens of thousands of cars at one time. It makes me so mad. And the satellite. communicate, so they'll be like, wait, I noticed this on, that they caught this car doing it. Did you notice that? Yep. Okay. They're done. God. Let me guess, Lauren. Big brother. Yes. That's part of it is. You caught them. You know who doesn't get irritated about it? People that don't speed. Really, Mike? You don't speed. I stopped. I believe it. You want to know what I did? What? I set that stupid... Cruise control? Yeah.

2:38:01I blew past Mikey. Did you see me the other day? I blew past you again. No, I didn't see you. The other, like, last Thursday. Because we went to lunch on Wednesday, and I went back to the same place for lunch on Thursday by myself. And I blew past you on the highway. And he was like a speck in my rear view. I was going like 75. Yeah. I go, I set the cruise control to 68. Because I figured that it's three. Still speeding. Yeah, but I figure it's plus or minus. Still speeding. The speed limit is... Listen to her! What do you think? Oh, like 90? Yeah. If I go 75, I think, oh, I'm fine. I'm not going to get a ticket just because everyone goes 70 and then you have five miles. I go 90 everywhere I go. I can't wait for the cloaking device. I'm going to put a cloaking device on my car so the satellites can't see it. What is that? It's nothing. It doesn't really exist. Out of banana skins. Yeah, he'll take the rubber out of the insole of your shoe. Well, so when I move up to where I'm moving, up in North County, I'm going to have, instead of a three-mile drive to work, I'm going to have a 40-mile drive to work. It's going to be great. Cruise control. What? Cruise control. Zero percent. I was set on 90. You get used to it.

2:39:17I've never once done it because it freaks me out. What? Cruise control. I have it in my car, and I feel like I'm going to forget that I'm driving or something. My average for my trip out here from Dallas is going to be between the 88 to 94 range. I guarantee you. Aren't you driving a rental truck? No. Suburban. Still, with all your stuff in it, you might not be able to get it up there. I don't have all that stuff. We have movers. That thing will be pinned. The speed limit is actually higher. I think it's like 80 or something ridiculous. I've been in Montana where there's no speed limit. Oh, dude. It was. Phenomenal. Phenomenal. You just made me want to go to Montana. Not only is it beautiful, there are stretches where, when I was there five years ago, no speed limit. Dude, 120, everywhere I went. I used to, I mean, two months ago, I was a speeder. And then I got convicted about it, and I was like, I can't speed anymore. I'm breaking the law. So I stopped. Still breaking it, going 68. You can't just go 65. You just took three miles off of his bit. Three years off my life. And three years off his life. Probably, actually. You're going to make me do it to 65, you know. Well, I'm just saying, Mike. If you're going to do it, don't do it half-assed. Do it all the way, pal. Really? You know what I'm saying is that your speedometer can maybe be miscalculated. So you have that area of give in my book. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, that's exactly it. Yes. Just make sure. Walk away from it. She knows it. Just make sure you don't drive in the fast lane, please. Yeah, please. I'll get in my head. What lane are you in? Stop it. Fast lane. The far right. The slow lane.

2:40:46You're in the far right. No, I'm in the middle. Rebecca and I both blew past Mike. Yeah, I know. She was like. Yeah. Hey, have fun, speed racer. We were racing. Hey, Mario Andretti. How are my babies in the backseat? Do you guys ever like get someone that tailgates you or cut off or something and you're like, I really hope there's a cop up there. I just want that person to get. I try to run off the road. That's just not. Man. I'm like, what's your rush there? You're giving me that same issue you have. What? Heartburn? Heartburn. I do that to people, bro. You know that. My new thing that I have right now that I love. is that I have Jenna in the back seat, and no one can see because the windows are tinted, and I go in the carpool lane, and I'm like, just try and pull down. Yeah, try and get me. That's funny. I know. Just try. That's good. That's good. I beg for things to happen to me when I'm not doing anything wrong. I beg, because I want to be like, huh, really? Come on, pull me over. Nice try. Nice try. Jack hole. Woodsy is a very funny guy that makes me laugh, and we occasionally are immature.

2:41:56Yes. Occasionally. Always. Slightly. We called each other. At the same time, you guys called each other? No. They're besties. We were talking. Sorry, Frankie. He was playing. They ain't besties, though. No, no. I'm more besties with Mike than I am with you. Why are they wearing best friend necklaces? I'm not threatened, man. I know. He knows where his bread is butted. That's stupid. Disgusting. Oh, wow. That's me. Call Woodsy and Woodsy's listening to a soundboard. Do you know what a soundboard is? Oh, I wasn't listening to it. I was playing. Playing. Playing. Playing a soundboard. Yeah. A soundboard, in case you don't know, is where they take a celebrity from movies. They take clips of them from movies saying things. And you can just sit there and click on them and make them say stuff. Like you just ask them fun questions and then they give you rant. Can I tell you that? Along with the incorporator at my last job, this was number two on the list of daily things, daily bits that we did where we would do phone calls to people and do soundboard pranks. It's a Mikey show bit now. It is. Woodsy and I sat there for 20 minutes and I, he, he's laughing. I'm done laughing and I'm interviewing his computer. Yep. Oh, while you're on the phone. I go, I go, he goes, he would tell me the person.

2:43:24Arnold Schwarzenegger. And I started asking him stuff, and he's just hitting it on the phone. We're going to hear this right now, I hope. Yeah, we taped one. We taped one. Yes. I am here with a mystery guest, and why don't you introduce yourself to everybody? My name is Rocky Balboa. Oh, my gosh. How are you, Mr. Balboa? Hello. For people that are listening and are big fans of yours, why don't you tell everybody how we met? Want to go to the basketball game? No, it wasn't a basketball game. Remember when me and you met? Well, I just said I know you're looking for spot partners, and I just want to say I'm very available, you know? Okay, but tell everybody how we met, remember? I wouldn't take no cheap shots either. I'd really be a good spot partner. No, no, no, I know. Never mind. Okay. Do you have a temper? Yeah, something like that. Because people have said that you have a temper, and I know that we're putting you on the spot, but do you have a temper? Yeah.

2:44:25Is it mine? Yeah. Like, bad enough to where I should be afraid? Yeah. Yes or no? Do you surf? No. Are you good at scrabble? Pushing buttons. Yeah. Are you good at scrabble? Do you like lollipops? Yeah. Does baby want a binky? Yeah. Do you have a poo-poo? Yeah, something like that. Do you really? Yeah. Do you have a poo-poo? Oh, my God. Yeah. Something like that. Are you and Ryan Seacrest pen pals? Yeah. Would you endorse old bone medicated powder? Or you wouldn't? Right away. Right away. Think about it. I ain't kidding. Well, thank you for talking with us today. You still didn't give me any answer. You didn't ask me anything. Okay, no more fooling around. All right. Thanks for the time. Maybe we just better forget all this, you know?

2:45:28Okay. I don't need this no more. Thank you, Sly. I don't want to have a lot of energy. You know, you've got nothing to prove. Thank you. We did that 20 minutes. Oh, easily. We did that 20 minutes. Easily. I could just see you doing it. Yeah, because he doesn't know what I'm going to ask. He doesn't know what I'm going to ask. I had to cover my mouth. I was laughing so hard. Children. He doesn't know what I'm going to ask, so I asked, and then he just finds a response and clicks on it. I like that. I could do that. For seven hours. You wanted to that day. I finally had to kick you out of my office. I was like, get out. That's right. I love it. 570-1949 is our number. 949mikey at gmail.com. Why are they saying that school lunches might be a national security threat? Well, they're saying it because a group of retired military officers say that the lunches right now going on in school have so many calories that it's... you know, a big cause to why children are so overweight. And 27% of Americans ages 17 to 24 are too overweight to join the military. Are you kidding me? 27%. So they're saying that, you know, this could be a danger to our country if these children are growing up and cannot, you know, they're not fit enough to be in the military. People in other countries are more fit. I don't think that England is as fat as we are. I think we're the fattest country, aren't we? Probably.

2:46:55And, you know, I bet England doesn't have a lot of the stuff that we have. The fast food and the and you know what else I bet they don't do? I bet you England. Why is it necessary for us to buy a 64 ounce fountain drink? I know. That's the weirdest thing to me. When you go to a fast food place and they give you like a bucket of drink, it's trippy to me. I'm like, who? Like, really? Really? Like, couldn't they? For me, honestly, I think to myself, you know a medium size? Yeah. They could just have that size and I think everybody would get by. I'm shocked at how small the small is. Yeah, I know. It's huge. Yeah. It's weird, right? And that kind of tripped people out. Large is now medium. They fill it with so much ice, though. McDonald's is doing this weird thing where they have automated ice now. So it goes clink, clink. There's like three cubes. It's like three cubes in there. I'm like, it's water. It's free, bro. I want like a fourth ice. Not half. Not three-fourths. I want like one-fourth of ice. Unless it's crust. I want it all the way to the top. I don't like. You guys hear about 7-Eleven? No. What now? I love 7-Eleven. Take a listen to this. You know 7-Eleven, where you go when you need a Slurpee? You go to 7-Eleven? Of course.

2:48:16They're going to start selling their own beer. Oh, no kidding. Really? 7-Eleven beer. Smart. And just in time for Mother's Eve. Go, Mom. Six pack of 7-Eleven, yeah. Now, 7-Eleven, they did some marketing. 7-Eleven beer is for people who think Budweiser is too pretentious. They should sell them in, like, 11-ounce cans, and there should be 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven. Yeah. 7-Eleven. That's funny. They're 7-Elevens. This was another interesting Letterman clip. Didn't know about this, but it's an interesting topic. Tell me what you think. You know what else is going on here in New York City? Doorman strike. Doorman strike. You know what that means? It's the guy. It's your front line of defense and security and convenience and comfort that opens the door, takes packages, and keeps thugs away from your house.

2:49:08These guys are going on strike. And so now what this means is people who live in these doorman buildings for themselves, for the first time for themselves, they're going to have to figure out, what is it push? Is it pull? Where's the elevator button? He's probably one of them. He probably is. He probably is. But there are, I was thinking about it, and I thought to myself, the guy that gives you a paper towel when you go in the bathroom. I hate. I had this part of my stand-up. And that's a thing, like, I actually think to myself, is there the person that's like, man, I'm really stoked. You know what I mean? Like, why is that dude? The bathroom attendant? Yeah. We don't need bathroom attendants. No, we don't. It's another thing that I have to worry and stress about. I made it this far, pal. I made it. And, like, if you're out with your boys or your girls or whatever, and you're in, it's a long, let's say you're at the bar, you're watching a football game, you're watching a day of football games, you're in that bathroom. A lot. Seven, eight times. Uh-huh. I do the high every time. I give the dollar and take a slice of gum. And a spray of Jope's Cologne. Yeah, a spray of Fahrenheit. A spray of Fahrenheit. Sometimes I'll give a dollar and I'm like, that's good for the, you know. For the day. That's my quota. I'm not taking anything from the. You say that? No. Oh, I'm sorry. I just think that. She's like.

2:50:24It is. It's a beating. It's stressful. I'm like, I can get my own paper. I just bypass her and get my own. Yeah, I do too. Well, I do because it's silly. I mean, I do it because I think to myself, you don't have to hand me a paper towel. Right. You ever seen this? You ever seen a female in a male? No. You know, my buddy Adam Wentz that came up here. Yeah. It was one of my first weekends in San Diego. We went out on a Saturday night. I went to a place down in downtown. There was a female bathroom attendant. That's weird. In the male bathroom. That's weird. How is that possible? Did you like it? It was fabulous. You liked that? No, I didn't care about it. Oh, you didn't care? No. Wait, she was like, she could see the urinals? Yeah. That's weird. I have a story about one that came in handy. What? At your own home? Yeah. At your house? The one at your house? Old Bosworth. Thank you, Bosworth. Mom, if you're going to let the bathroom attendant off, just let me know. No, I went out with some of my friends and one of my friends ripped her pants in the crotch when she was like out dancing or something, you know, just getting after it. And she was like, oh my gosh, my pants, Sienna. And so I was like, okay, let's go in the bathroom. And so I don't know, we were going to tie a sweatshirt on her waist or something. And the woman bathroom attendant was like, oh, I help you, I help you.

2:51:41And she was like, okay. She's like, you go in the bathroom, take your pants off and give me your pants. Right. My friend takes her pants off, gives her pants. This woman pulls out needle and thread. Get out. Sews up this huge rip. You couldn't even tell. You couldn't even tell. Brilliant. Not only did she wear them the rest of the night, but she continued wearing those jeans for like another year. Did your friend bring her like work to do and stuff? She's like, hey, can you do these shorts for me this week? How soon can I get these back? That's above and beyond. That's incredible. Isn't that amazing? You know what it tells you, too? It tells you that there must be a need. Well, you know that song? She works hard for the money. That's about a bathroom attendant. Is it really? Yeah. That's about a woman in the bathroom. That's what it was written about? Wow. My friend hugged her like you wouldn't believe. She's like, thank you. Well, let me tell you. I thought I was going to have to go home. I've never seen a dude do that. I like the toiletries idea. And if you, that's like, that's great. You know, I need a piece of gum, whatever. And you should, you should make your donation. You should throw in the handing of the paper towel, the squirting of the soap on the hand. That is so, I make, it makes me like, feel like I'm like royalty. Well, it makes, it makes me feel imposed upon. I just want to go, stop it, stop it, stop it. I got it. I got it. You're all over me. I know how to use soap.

2:52:53I feel like you're a koala and you're riding my back. Yeah. I think if I can work the chopsticks at the sushi place, I can handle the soap dispenser. Yeah, that's it. And you know what? I think that the person is there. Honestly, the reason that I think the person is there is to guard from stealing the colognes and the perfumes. Well, it's their stuff. It's their stuff. It's not the restaurant stuff. Yeah, they set it up. And they usually, they don't get paid. A lot of places, they don't get paid hourly. That's their bit. I should just take all my colognes because I'm, you know, known for being a cologne hoarder. I should just take my colognes to Chevron. No, I got it. Set them up in there and wait for people to come in. Me and you, side business. Side business. The reason the places like it is because then people can't tear up the bathroom. Yeah, exactly. For some reason, people like to destroy bathrooms. Yeah, Jay's exactly right. I just got a brilliant idea. I just saw the light bulb go off. Mikey, you don't want to spend your life in a bathroom. I got an idea. We get a video camera. Oh, creep. Gross. And I bring in a bunch of my colognes and set them up in the bathroom here. And you videotape me just standing there as an attendant as people come in. Ew. That's hilarious.

2:54:03I'll stand by the sink. Here in the office. Yeah, here at the office. And so they'll be like, they recognize that I'm Mikey, but when they come in, I'll put soap on their hands. I'm in. When can we do it? Can we get off the air and go do it now? I want to do it right now. There's a bathroom with stalls. You should just do it the one hitter. Just the individual toilet. Just the individual toilet. Don't mind me, Seth. But we do have a bathroom here that's got like a few stalls and two sinks. Does your boy's bathroom with the stalls smell fantastic when you walk in? It's Fruity Pebbles. No. It's Fruity Pebbles. I walk into girls and it's like... Ours is more farty pebbles. Yeah, farty pebbles. Definitely farty pebbles. Give me some K-Wave. K-Wave 97 FM. Little Chicago, if you leave me now, it's K-Wave. Yeah. Yes. Oh, what a pro. If you don't like this song, I don't want to know you. I don't even know it. That's shocking. I know. I thought I did it in the beginning. I would slow dance to this. All right. No problem. You want to prove it? Yeah. I want to see you guys slow dance. I don't know how to slow dance. Do you see your hands on her butt? I would be so nervous. I couldn't do that.

2:55:22I know I'd mess that up. That's so simple what you just did. I was doing sixth grade style. Yeah, just put her hands on my shoulders. And boys went in for the wedding style. What's wedding style? With one hand held and the other hand on the shoulder, you know? This is sixth grade style. And you sway and you circle. Oh, weird. That is such a weird dance. Hey, when you guys dance, when you guys dance wedding style, were you... Clearly doing something you were supposed to and you doing something you were supposed to learn? I think so. Yeah. I don't have a clue what I'm supposed to do. Your hands go on her waist. Her hands go on your shoulders. What does leading mean? I'm leading her. Watch. Yeah. He uses my feet and my hands. Terrifying to me. Terrifying to me. He guides her on the small of her back. Turns her. And his feet. I would step all over your feet. No doubt. I have to be led. Dance at your wedding? I have to be led. I try to leave. That's why I'm usually. Yeah, I'm weird. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. They've been called the best live band in the world. Now, San Diego, it's your chance to see them. Muse.

2:56:38September 22nd at Viejas Arena. Including music from the new album The Resistance. Available now. News. With special guest, Passion Pit. Just think of all the value you can get from a Mini Cooper right now. In addition to a starting price of $19,500, now all 2010 Mini models come with a limited time 1.9% APR financing. That's a great deal for the fuel-efficient 37-mile-per-gallon Mini Cooper hardtop, along with the standard 3-year, 36,000-mile no-cost maintenance and our legend. Legendary go-kart handling. Maybe you shouldn't just think of all the value you can get from a Mini Cooper. Maybe you should act on it. Visit miniusa.com slash info and check us out at brechtmini.com. The Aztec calendar has his Cinco de Mayo party chiseled in. The front of his house looks like it was built by the Mayans. Because it was. The contents of his tacos refuse to fall from the shell. He can open a pinata with a wink and a smile.

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3:02:25So check their grade at BBB.org. Start with trust. Start with a BBB accredited business. This report is brought to you by Valvoline. When they can't guarantee that you'll get to work on time, they can guarantee your engine up to 300,000 miles. Limitations apply. Go to Valvoline.com and get guaranteed. On the 8 eastbound at the 15, an overturned vehicle in the grass area. Some other cars pulled over to their shoulder to try and help. Looks like the 805 northbound before the 15. We've got a car that's blocking the number three lane. He is stuck. And the 805 southbound before Imperial Avenue, an accident where an SUV spun out. Then he was broadsided by a second SUV. This report brought to you by McDonald's. It's back now. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks, just 79 cents. That is a lot of refreshment for very little change. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln financial media station. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9.

3:03:41It's like I've never lived before my life with you. How much was missing here I never leave. What movie is it from? Along Came Polly. Along Came Polly. Woods, he was just telling us about a scene that he remembers from Along Came Polly. It kills me every time. And it's a guy that's just a D. Yeah. Well, him and his buddy are out shooting hoops. And these two guys walk, these two random strangers walk up and they go, You guys want to roll some twos and play two on two? And Philip Seymour Hoffman goes, I hope you douchebags brought your A game. I mean, just right off the bat. Right off the bat. He goes, I'm just messing with you, Sasquatch. Slays me. The guy's huge. This is what I remember from my teen years. I remember going to a party or whatever. And I'd be having a great time. Maybe. If I was there with somebody that I knew. I'd be having a great time.

3:04:43And I may be laughing or whatever. And there was always this one guy who would be like, what are you laughing at? Oh, I know. You know what I'm talking about? Just the D, yeah. And you're like, for me, it terrified me. Right. Instantly, I'm like, I'm going to get killed. You just say your face. Yeah, and your face goes. And he probably does it because he knows that that's what he gets. You know, he gets that reaction. So that's probably why he does it. But oh, my gosh. I remember this dude. What was his name? Tom Gianetto. Oh, man. This is like a badass. I know. Doesn't that sound? What was that dude that beat you up? The cowboy? The guy with the rat tail? Roy Friend. Roy Friend. He tried to beat me up. You can't beat me up when I'm hiding in a bush. Oh, man. But there was always that dude. Yeah. Just the fighter, like, just always wanting to start something. He just wants to start something. Yeah. He's not content being cool and nice. Having a good time. Yeah. Just have fun, bro. I mean, did you come to a party because you wanted to fight? Yeah, you came to a party because you wanted to fight. For sure. You know, there's beer over there. Yeah. Go get the cold one. Let's kick back. Yeah.

3:05:59Did you see me look back there, Mike? I was like, really? Did you see those chicks over there? There's girls here. We got music. Right. Beer. Yeah. Maybe it'd help if you guys were wearing uniforms. Yeah. Really? I don't know. Maybe she'd wear them all the time. That kid could have used a uniform. I'm an individual. 949mikey at gmail.com. 570-1949. I'm Mikey. Farmer. Oh, you did. Sorry. Great digger. Horse trainer. Knife sharpener. Wheat farmer. Wheat farmer. Wheat miller. Corn husker. Corn husker. Miller. Shoeshiner. Potato peeler. Pot washer. Woodsy is our sports guy. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. She's 29 years of age. And the girl sitting to my left is Sienna. She's 25. She's with child.

3:07:02Knocked up. That's right. I am. Preggers. Now you're powered down. Jay is 46. She's Preggers. She's Preggers. Woods hates Preggers. It's the worst. Tell us about the suspicious container in Anaheim that they eat. This is actually. Really messed up. So there was a suspicious container that was found by a light pole. It looked like a small pill bottle. And they thought it was some sort of a bomb. So bomb squad was called in. The hazmat team called in. A dozen fire trucks from Anaheim and Fullerton were sent to the area. This happened around noon yesterday. And police were all there. Three different buildings had to be evacuated. Three businesses had to be evacuated. And it turns out that it was all part of a game. Five hours later. Later on 5 p.m., they discovered that there was a note inside that says, congratulations, you found it. That's lame. That's lame. It was like one of those games called. Scavenger home? Yeah, something like that. Please. I know. Three businesses shut down. Fire trucks were all over. Unbelievable. The bomb squad. Come in, Susanna. Susanna's an intern from the... Oh! Oh! She just... You all right, Susanna? Oh. She fell. She just fell. Yikes.

3:08:19What's the matter with you, Susanna? You klutz. I know she was standing out there like, do I come in? Do I not? Well, Susanna walked to the studio and she almost knocked over Lauren's computer. So weird. That's so weird. Jeez. You should watch where you're going. What's the salsa doing here? Sounds like salsa butt in here. There's sausage in here? Susanna is a really, really pretty girl that works in our accounting department. She's not that pretty. She is. Susanna. I'm just kidding. She is. So catty. I know, so catty. You probably get that a lot, don't you, Susanna? Yeah, it's just like when you look like this and sound like this, there's just a lot of things that you, you know, that's you. It's hard to understand, Susanna, because she's got her retainer in. Why don't you take your retainer out? Oh, yeah. She does sound really good. Sometimes I just forget. And she smelled nice? But, yeah, usually... When I'm just talking, my normal talking voice, I get a lot of compliments on that. So I just sometimes I forget that I've got the retainer in. But women can be very catty, right? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, women will get like that with it. Absolutely. Susanna is a fan.

3:09:31of the show. Yeah. Yeah. She loves our program. I saw you guys on the news last night. I saw you Woods. Hi. Yeah. Did you record it? You know, I definitely, I didn't TiVo it. You didn't? I didn't watch it like 22 times or anything. Oh, that's weird. Oh, isn't that your number, Woods? That's my baseball number. She really likes Woods. She really likes Woods. I love Woods. That's weird. I mean, I love them like you guys love them. Like, I don't like, love them, love them. I didn't say that you did. None of us questioned, though. Nobody questioned it. I'm just saying I don't love him. I don't love him like Jamie supposedly loves him. Supposedly? Yeah, supposedly. That's not how I love him. It's his wife. I'd love him better than that, but... Yeah, weird. That wasn't so... This has been awkward. I do a better job. Okay, weird. Really weird. I'm just saying. Susanna. If you ever need a candidate. Can you put... Okay, can you put your retainer back in? Sure. I asked her to put a retainer back in because... I don't like looking at it. It sits right next to me. That's what she said. Gross. She uses a lot of Woodsy-isms. Woodsy-isms. I was just saying, though, Mike, I don't love Woods. But this crazy thought went through my head. Like, if I did love Woods, like, say, if I were a good wife, like Jamie's supposed to be, maybe I'd write a love letter. Maybe it would sound something.

3:10:56Wait, so you don't love Woods. But if you did love Woods, it would sound like this. Yes. A love letter? If I did. If she did. Did she say love letter? A love letter. You're going to read us your love letter to Woods? Oh, yeah. I was just bored. It's not a love letter to Woods. It's not. No. If. She's saying if. If. If. If. It's a, what do you say? Hypothetical. Hypothetical. Hypothetical. Hypothetical. Hypothetical. So, anyway. If. This is a big if. And. You know, offers on the table. Just let me say. I'm uncomfortable. So, here's some things that maybe you want to know. I make my own soap. She makes her own soap. Yep. Okay. Smells delicious. Smells delicious. I'm only possessive for a short time, and then I become non-violent. That's weird. Take your retainer out. Definitely take the retainer out. Drool running onto the paper. Oh, that was a mouthful. Oh, wow. That's what you said. Weird. Sorry. That's... Should I say that again? No, that's fine. We got it. We're your possessive. I've lived alone in the woods for three years, and I know how to make jerky out of basically any animal. You've lived at woods for three years? No. In the woods. Oh, I wish. She's lived in the woods for three years. I said I lived in the woods. And she can make... Which can be arranged. It's really weird. It's really, really...

3:12:25Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods, Woods. Did you hear what she said? Yeah. Yeah, she said it. What? Out loud. What? You're saying it like we can't hear you. We can hear everything you're saying. Yeah, you're on a microphone. Yeah, you're on a mic, man. Yeah, I said I'm just standing right beside you. Oh. Gosh darn it. I thought it said, I want to live inside you. What? How would I do that? I'd just cut your skin and carve you out and just crawl inside. But who would do that? Oh, my gosh. Susanna, you need to stop saying things like this. You recognize that that's... Bortless. Bortless. Psychotic. It's like a taxidermist or something. I don't know anything about that. Oh, wow. Anyway. Oh, wow. Boy, this is gorgeous. What? This is a beautiful letter. Yeah, it had been a letter. I sprayed perfume on it. Yeah, I can smell it. It's really nice. Anyway, last but not least. Mm-hmm. I'm a Yankees fan. Oh, good. And I would kill for the team. In fact, I have. Wow, that's weird. That's really unusual. That's very weird. The perfume that you sprayed smells like obsession, right? Oh, yeah. It's not subliminal. Yeah, that's weird that it's obsession. That's the perfume. Obsession. Smells pretty good. I have goosebumps right now. Yeah, yeah, I do too. Was it touching? No, yeah, it was great. What's really weird is that that letter's not to Woods.

3:13:54It's only if, if, if. But what's weird is that when you read it, you look directly at him. He doesn't look at you. He doesn't look at you. No, I look at Mikey. Yeah, he looks at me. You look at him the whole time you read it. Somebody's a little nervous. Okay, that's weird because that's the way his wife says certain stuff to him. So you're saying stuff to him the same way that his wife does. What? Yeah. It's unusual. What does Jamie say? Jamie says that. Somebody smells a little suspicious. Oh, I was saying, someone's a little nervous. Way before that. Way before that. It makes me uncomfortable. Jamie doesn't do everything that's cool words. Yeah, she's pretty great, actually. Can I put this... Crazy. Oh, gosh. You love Patsy. Really, pal? What are you saying? Really, pal? I want to put this back in, okay? Go ahead. You're crazy. Sorry, my teeth start to hurt after a little while if I don't put this back in. Susanna? Yes. Maybe you can get back to the accounting department. Maybe you can get. Maybe you can keep your eyes on your paper. You ever think about that? No. Boys, high five. High five. High five, boys. He didn't look at her when he did it. Anyway, but Jamie never gave me a letter like that. No, she's actually never written me a love letter. Susanna, when's the last time you had a boyfriend, like, long term? Um, like.

3:15:20Like a serious one? Yeah, you know, like long term. You took a break when you lived in the woods, obviously. Yeah, I mean, there's this... The last guy has a restraining order now, so I don't like to talk about that. Yeah, I can see that. He's an idiot. He's an idiot. He wasn't anything like woods or anything. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, his last name was Trees, so... Anyway. Forrest. Anyway. Yeah, I dated another guy named Mike Forrester, so it's... It's a natural progression. No steam going on. Thanks, Susanna. That's Susanna, everybody. She's really a delight. Bye. Bye, guys. Don't trip on the way. Yeah, be careful with the wires. Bye. She makes me really nervous now. She's scary now. Well, it seems like she's getting progressively stranger. She wants to wear my skin. For a straining order? Yeah. Is that something you just throw out there? Yeah, you cut somebody open and live inside them. That's pleasant. That's not creepy. It's disgusting. She told me in the hallway she wants to use you like a jack-o'-lantern. Can you imagine? And just stick her face where the eye holes are. She wants to put a little candle inside of you. 570-1949. You can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. I can't believe she almost tripped and knocked her computer down. That was great. What a clutch. She's very graceful.

3:16:52What a klutz that girl, huh? Yeah. Never seen anything like it. Is this true that Lauren went to Wendy's last night? No way. Again? Lauren who? Not Lauren O'Brien. Not Lauren O'Brien. Lauren Johnson. Lauren O'Brien eats hay. Yes. So it can't be you, Lauren. I saw, I was out in Rancho Santa Fe yesterday. I saw a big hay truck go by. You started drooling. I was behind it for like three miles and just shooting hay back at me. And I was like, man, this is just like a joke waiting to happen. She sticks her head out the window and just opens her mouth. Like a Labrador retriever. I was wondering why there was hay all over your car this morning. Taste the rainbow. She's feasting on hay. Amazing. Yum. I did. I broke down. When's the last time you ate Wendy's before? I can't remember. What did you eat? I had a grilled chicken sandwich with no mayo. It's basically lettuce, chicken, and bread, but I didn't eat the bread. Why'd you go to Wendy's? That's not your style. Yeah, I got my younger sister staying with me. My younger sister has Down syndrome.

3:18:03McDonald's is her favorite restaurant. That's why you took her to Wendy's. For some reason, I was like, well, there's more options. There's more healthy options. So we made a compromise. And it was closer to my house. Yeah, we made a compromise. And there was nothing. You guys were talking about it. There's nothing to eat in my house. And it was late. There's only a few things that were open. Let her have McDonald's if she wants McDonald's. How rigid is that blonde? She is so rigid. I'm so glad you're visiting me, but you can only eat what I want. She gets plenty of McDonald's from my parents. They let her do her thing. When she's with me, it's my rules. Really? What is Lauren going to be like as a mom? A good one. Mean. A really good one. Thanks, Jay. Jay and Lauren are definitely on the same page. Every time we talk about stuff with parenting, they are on the same page. If my baby starts getting a little chubby, I'll be like, hey, Lauren, we babysit. Yeah. You will eat that barley, baby. It'll be barley baby food. It'll be soft, mushy, little barley in a jar. Percentage of chance Lauren makes her own baby food. Of course. One thousand percent. Yeah.

3:19:17Yeah, Kim did. Did you go over 100%? Kim did? Yeah, Kim did. She didn't go get any baby food. Of course. Really? Of course. What's wrong with, like, Gerber baby food? Well, it's got all kinds of stuff in it you don't want in your food. What's wrong with just making it yourself? Pureed apples. Oh, Mikey. Good one. Honey in my ears. Yeah. All right, ready? Do a scene. Same bit. It's the exact same scene. Oh, it's the same scene you had yesterday. Driving away from a lover. Yeah. I'm driving away. From the beach? From the beach. Down the PCH. I'm driving to my lover. Blasting cigs. Yeah. No, she just broke up with me. She broke my heart. I used to drive to the Jersey Shore and blast this song. You did. She broke your heart to be with me, though, in this song. Yeah, she broke my heart to be with Jay. Did anyone just see Lauren's face? I missed this. Do it again. Oh, yeah, she's like a dude. She's like a dude. Really tough. That's what I would picture Frankie to do when he's writing his job. I would blast cigs.

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3:26:03And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I want to be a movie director more than anything else. Sienna. Only time I'll eat spinach is if it's in artichoke dip. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. On FM 94.9. On a warm summer's eve. Didn't everybody's mom listen to this? My dad did. Mom or dad? My dad did, too. So we took turns of staring. Out the window at the darkness. The boredom overtook us. That's a songwriter. That's right. Storyteller. Storyteller. Woodsy's been getting into country lately. Because he's reading the autobiography? No, biography. Senior, not the junior. Hank Williams. Hank Williams, senior. Pretty good. That's rad. Yeah, dude. Guy's a legend. 29. You've seen pictures of Hank Williams, haven't you? Oh, yeah. You know how he was 29 when he died? He looked like he was 60. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Hard living. Hard, hard living. Passed that on to his son. Yeah, and then who passed that on to his son? That's right. Hank 3. Hank 3. Love Hank 3. Was there some sort of shark?

3:27:28thing happened in Kauai. What was that we just saw? It caught my eye. There is a picture as I was trying to show Woods. See this picture right here on my Facebook? It's taken with an underwater camera of me on a surfboard in Hanalei Bay in Kauai. So it just caught my eye. There was a 14 foot tiger shark. I surfed there. I surfed in Hanalei Bay. I took a bite out of this guy's surfboard. In Hanalei Bay? In Hanalei Bay. He took it off of the tail of the board. He took a bite out of it. They're speculating that they think he was like, you know, hunting for turtles and thought it was like a turtle shell and bit it off. And then the guy jumped onto the shark's back. Are you kidding me? Yeah, I think he slid off the back of his board and landed on the shark's back. And then he took his leash off and the shark went away. Oh, my gosh. Usually, like, okay, I'm not going to give a statistic, but when these shark attacks happen, they're accidental. They think that you're something else. Yeah, I know. bite out of you it's like they usually go off and they're like uh you know fine they do but it's still yeah that's after you get bit yeah but sometimes they'll nibble on your leg or just take a little taste what are you doing what's it's weird we slow dance now that you guys slow dance you're sitting real close look yeah

3:28:50That's weird. That's weird. Let's do the rest of the show like this. His chair is all short. Just mess with Mikey the whole day. I know. 30 minutes. How freaked out does that make you? Oh, that's weird. You guys have good breath. It looks like you guys are Siamese twins. How messed up is it that when you're in the water... You're swimming around with gigantoid sharks. Like I said, you're more likely to die. Are you? You are, yeah. When I was a commercial diver, I would jump into the water. The sharks would be there. You'd jump into the water. They would swim away, and you'd kind of swim at them. And then you'd turn your back on them, they'd swim back at you. And then it was like back and forth for a while. They were tiger sharks, leopard sharks. Like when the guy got off the board and fell onto the shark, the shark was like, whoa, and took off. Jay, you dove into waters that were shark infested on purpose? Yeah, well, that was my job. That was my job. Yeah, leopard sharks in La Jolla, yeah. They would bite because they would put turkeys, they'd take a piece of rebar and bend it.

3:29:54And then have it on like a chain hanging over the side. So you're down there working, diving. And you look over and you see this giant turkey carcass on a hook, basically. They're fishing for sharks while you're in the water. Why? Why? Because, you know, it's like there's a dive team on the rig. And then there's like the rig crew. And the rig crew doesn't really care what you're doing. They're just doing their own thing. So they're trying to catch sharks or whatever. They're just having fun. You know, they're throwing trash. Super fun. Yeah, it was not as much fun. We said, hey, can you guys stop while we're diving just for a little bit? Who is that dude in there? Who? Jay. Oh, I know. He's done everything. That was the worst year of my life. We did an interview one time with a guy that was aboard the USS Indianapolis. It's the boat that was taking the bomb to Hiroshima. And it sank. American ship. And there was a shark attack while they were in the water. We had a guy that survived it. Who's now, you know, in his... Late 70s. I saw something on the Discovery Channel that was like a shark attack. And they did a reenactment of the people floating and then like sinking off the wood like in Titanic. And they talked about the one guy who was a survivor. That was him. Well, there was a few. No, there was. There was a few. But it's the story from Jaws. It's the story that Quint in Jaws tells. Oh, yeah. I love Dreyfus. He's great.

3:31:20In Jaws. He's fantastic. He's great in everything. He's great in everything. Are you on the Indianapolis? What happened? Japanese submarines slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. It was coming back. The island of Tinian Delady just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. 700 men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shot for about half an hour. Tiger. 13 footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? you tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail which our bomb mission had been so secret oh distress signal had been sent they didn't even list as overdue for a week very first light chief sharks come cruising so we formed ourselves into tight groups like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar like the battle of waterloo and the idea was shark comes the nearest man that man he's dead pounding and hollering and screaming sometimes the shark go away

3:32:47Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you, right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes at you, he doesn't seem to be living until he bites you. And those black eyes roll over white, and then you hear that terrible high-pitched screaming. The ocean turns red, and in spite of all the pounding and the hollering, you know, I'll come in and rip you to pieces. It was a feel-good comedy of the year. It sounds like it. I'm reading, and I looked at something about the shark attack. I'd never heard of it. Indianapolis? No, I guess I was little when I saw Jaws. I probably tuned it out because I was scared to death. Yeah. He tells us. I don't know how many sharks. Maybe a thousand. I don't know how many men. They average six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland, a baseball player.

3:33:58Oh, that wouldn't happen. That was a great way. They'd take the whole thing. What do you got, Woodsy? I'm reading this guy, this actual survivor's account. He said, on day three, you know, it took five days for them to be rescued. Five days bobbing up and down in the water. The day wore on and the sharks were around hundreds. Hundreds of them. You'd hear guys scream, especially late in the afternoon. Seemed like the sharks were the worst late in the afternoon or worse than they were during the day. Then they fed at night, too. Everything would be quiet. Then you'd hear somebody scream, and you knew a shark had gotten it. Oh, gosh. We talked to this guy, Adolfo Salaya. He came into the studio, and he was there. And he said he was in the water. He was in the water. And he says that he had crazy stories. He remembers the heat.

3:35:13When the torpedo hit the ship and it caused fire. So at first, all they thought was, this is awful because there's a fire on the boat. And so they were trying to escape the fire on the boat after the torpedo hit. They're all running. They're all running. The ship goes down in six minutes or whatever. Doesn't take long. Fills up with water immediately. Sinks. They're all in the water. They think, well, this is the worst of it, but I'm sure we'll be rescued soon. And then they're thinking, oh, wait a minute. It's a secret mission. No one knows we're here. And we're not going to be listed overdue until we don't show up. And we're not going to show up. And when we don't show up, they're going to think to themselves, okay, well, we'll give it a few hours. Well, maybe we give it a few more. Maybe we give it a few more. Meanwhile, they're all out there. And then the sharks start to come in. But they were there for days. You don't go surfing for days in the middle of the ocean. No. No, but they scare me. Have you ever seen, you guys ever seen, it's the Blair Witch Project of the water. It's called Open Water. 100%. The scariest scare me is that. It's real. They used real sharks. Yeah, they did use real sharks. Have you seen it? They did? Yeah. Yeah, they used real sharks so they could get the sounds and all that. Jamie and I watched it. That's why they didn't have real big actors because no one would agree to do it. You know what the scariest part of that? It's about the couple, the Australian couple. Yeah, couple.

3:36:37You know what the scariest part of it to me was? What? I saw it in the movie theater. And scariest part of it to me was when they would do the night scenes, the theater was dark. Mm-hmm. And so all you would hear is... The water? The flapping. You would hear the shark's fins flapping in the water. And I was like, I'm telling you, that movie was as good in terms of getting you as Blair Witch Project. I'm so intrigued by sharks. I want to be in a shark cage. I want to do all of that. You would do that? Of course I would. That's one of the things I want to do before I die. Really? Yeah, for sure. You can. You can pay to do it. It's expensive. To go down in a cage with great white sharks. No thanks. Yeah, but think about what you would see. They are so cool looking to me. You know what you'd see? Number three. It'd be like paying thousands of dollars to be up close with hornets.

3:37:36No thanks. Have you guys ever done the ride, the Jaws ride? Yeah, my brother, almost number three. Yeah, exactly. It's the Jaws ride. At Universal Studios. Universal Studios. Shark comes out of the water and goes, ah. Yeah. I never did that. Mom! You've never done it? No, but I want to. It's fun. Oh my God, where you're on the tour and you don't know it's coming and the shark goes, ah. It comes out of the water. Universal Studios Hollywood? Yeah, you're on a tram. Oh, I'm going to have to bring it. I have a picture of me. I'm like. In seventh grade, given the peace sign with pink jean shorts on in front of the shark. I'm going to have to bring it. Pink jean shorts. Thank God. Pink jean shorts. I want to see it. My brother, it was scary the rest of the day. Oh, yeah. If you don't know it's coming, forget it. That is crazy. It'll do you. It's scary, yeah. 570-1949 is our number. Let's see. If you use web coupons, there's something that you might want to know. These are the coupons that are printed from the internet or sent to your mobile phone. Have you guys ever gotten one of those? Like a text with a coupon? On your phone? Yeah, I've never either, but apparently they exist. Nope. The coupons that are sent to your phones, yeah. Well, I guess they have these barcodes on, and if you get one of these coupons that you can get online or on your phone, you take it to a store, they scan the barcode. From your phone? From your phone or from the printout that you printed out online. Okay. They can get your information from your computer.

3:39:03The stores can, like your Facebook account, your name, a lot of the private information that you wouldn't know. And I guess they're just not very secure. So they're saying, you know, be very careful if you use these web coupons. Really? I'm not a big coupon guy, period. You know, they have a cool new thing that you can do at like, my dad's a coupon cutter. And is there anything more embarrassing going and somebody's got coupons? My dad does. He saves so much money at the grocery store. Here's the deal. It's just a beating for me. And I'm like, I don't want to be that guy with like stacks of coupons. You can put them onto your Vons card now. Oh, really? And you download them onto your card. That's cool. And when you go in, they just scan it. Oh, genius. It's brilliant. I bet coupon people don't like it. They probably like the experience of cutting it out. That used to have to be one of my chores growing up. Cutting coupons? Mine too, I think. I had to cut coupons and my mom would go through them afterwards and be like, really? Yeah. We don't get this. Really? Why did you cut this? Yeah. My dad thinks it's therapeutic. He loves it. My dad too. They're perfectly cut. You know what's therapeutic for dads?

3:40:06What? Saving money. Yeah. That's therapeutic for dad. He goes really early in the morning, like on Saturday when no one's there and just loves it. I think we all learned from our dads. I think I probably will do it. About the cheapie routine. See, my mom is more that person. She's still. I noticed this. She came out just last week. I took them to the grocery store. She got everything that was on sale. Takes the receipt afterwards every time. Oh, yeah. She rolls her cart just so she's out of the way of everybody and goes down the entire list. Oh, yeah. And I'm not kidding you. One time she went back for 20 cents. And I was like, Mom. Mom, no. It's so embarrassing. It's 20 cents. I'll give you 20. I have 20 cents in my change purse. She's like, it doesn't matter. It's the principle of it. I've never one time looked at my receipt. I know. Not one time. And I won't do it now. Even if I know I get, like, I've gotten charge wrong before, and I won't say anything in the register, because I'm like, I don't want to be like that. Really? Cam goes right back. I mean, she's caught $20 mistakes, though. Yeah. If it's $20, that's worth it. But, I mean, she's just so adamant. You ever know the haggler, Dad? The haggler. Trying to negotiate? I have a friend. That's a grocery store. I have a friend that I went to high school with.

3:41:22At The Gap. The Gap. I shouldn't say try. He negotiated for a shirt. Sometimes you can, though. If you see something wrong with a shirt, you get a surprise. You can negotiate at the mall? If there's something wrong with it. You can negotiate anywhere. This is not a Mexican mercado. You can negotiate at Best Buy. Yeah, a lot of times with girls' shirts especially, I don't know if it's the same with you guys, but I'll try on a shirt and there's deodorant all over it. I'm like, dude, I want this as the last size, but it has deodorant all over it. Yeah, or makeup. What do you do with it? You got to take it to the dry cleaner after you buy it? You just wash it. It will come out. Deodorant will come out in the wash. filthy. I know, but if it's a cute shirt and you know you'll get it out and you get a really good price, I mean, I don't think I've ever... Well, if it's a dude, no, because I know that there's going to be black curly hair. It's called a washing machine. Grow up. I will never be that mature. I will never grow up that much. You sleep on a hotel bed that other people did a lot on and they just washed it. Good point, Tiana. You're freaking me out. Oh, I haven't heard this in forever. It was good.

3:42:36Love this. I feel like I'm in jail. Yeah. Nobody knows. I did so bad and wrong. Moby. You and Moby can be twins. Yeah, totally. That's your doppelganger. It's a Mexican Moby. It's a Mexican Moby. I can see Mikey with his headphones, turntables. One headphone up, one down. Candy cane necklace. Mexicoby. Mexico. Fast fire second. Mexicoby. Yes. Oh, gosh. Voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. In this episode of Mossy Nissan's Dare to Compare, the reliable Nissan Altima takes on challenger Toyota Camry in a race to the finish. The catch, they each get just one gallon of gas. And here comes the stylish Nissan Altima 2.5 S cruising in for the win. Hey, congratulations, Team Altima. Oh, yeah, thanks, man. It was easy. Our Altima gets better city MPG than that Camry. Yeah, and this car is...

3:43:58Sweet. Yeah, just like you, babe. And here comes Team Camry, trying to push their Camry LE over the finish line. What happened, guys? Our Camry ran out of gas. Uh, you ran out of gas. Don't start. Not now. Why wait? Dare to compare today and get a new 2010 Nissan Altima 2.5 S with auto, AC, and more for only $18,995 net cost at all six Mossy Nissan locations. For 13, 110 with 22, 735 MSRP or less, $19,995 sale price, next time. We begin in a world of consumer banking needs, but travel to another dimension. A dimension of secure, fast and easy ways to make deposits through ATMs, of no longer having to fill out deposit slips or use envelopes. You've just crossed over into... The Chase Zone. Did you just put that check directly into the ATM? Yep. No deposit slips, no envelopes? No need. Whoa, you just stuck a bunch of 20s in there. What is wrong with you? Me? I'm not the one feeding the ATM like a hungry Sasquatch. Sasquatch? Really? I don't know.

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3:49:36I'm a napper. I love to nap now. Lauren. Yep, I admit when I'm wrong. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. That's a very police-y vibe right there. A new age place. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. Welcome back. It's the Mikey Show. We are in an age of... We are. I love technology. As much as you see. You know what's great about the age of technology? What's that? What the? Is it because there's...

3:51:10Because we're in an age of technology, there's pretty much a website for everybody. Hi, I'm Bunny McFadden. You're probably wondering why I'm wearing a bikini, right? The reason is because people come in all shapes and sizes. And that's why I developed CreepHarmony.com, the only website devoted to creeps, four creeps. Here's one of our success stories from the movie Silence of the Lambs. Jane Gunn. I was like, you know, trying to find people. And then I was trying to find love. And I found my beautiful Francesca here. And she's a mannequin. And I love her so much. Isn't that right, darling? What? That song is so e-harmony. As soon as you hear it, right? There will be. As soon as you hear it, you know. Yeah. You're like, that is the most eHarmony I've ever heard. They know it. 570-1949 is our phone number. You can also text us, 949Mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Woodsy's been packing up, getting ready to travel. We got some good M1s, too, because they're telling him how he can plan out his trip.

3:52:32Yeah, a gentleman just wrote me and said, definitely try to set a goal for yourself to get into Las Cruces the first day. And then he said it's about six to San Diego from Las Cruces. That's good. Sienna said that... I'm sorry, Mike. Las Cruces. Las Cruces. Las Cruces. The crosses. Exactly. Sienna went to the grocery store after the show yesterday. And for the first time, a stranger came up and asked you when your due date is. Yes! That's risky. That is risky because you're not showing that much. No! That was the whole point of me being excited. No, it was a girl. She said, when's your due date? What if you weren't pregnant? Okay, well, I am, so I was thrilled. Man. Yeah, it was good because it was like the first time that somebody's actually acknowledged it. I'm past the I ate too many donut stages. And now it's obvious. No. Apparently it's not. It is to us, but a stranger. Well, the stranger did, and she made my day. You got to be careful. Ballsy move, man. Big one. Oh, man. Men don't ever do that to a woman, ever. Even if she's nine months pregnant, don't ask her. My wife did it.

3:53:39What? Ask somebody and they weren't. Oh. She said she was 14. She did it. She said she's never done it again. Never. 14. I saw a Seinfeld where he did it. And that was all I needed to see. Forget it. Well, if you see like a beach ball. You can tell. If it's a bigger woman, don't say anything. If it's a woman who's not very big and she has a big stomach. Nope. Usually you can say something. I ain't going there. Maybe she drinks a lot of. Stone beer. Heavy beer. Yeah, there are some women where it looks like they could be and then they're like slugging back 40s and you're like, oh, that's what that is. Like stone, like heavy, heavy beer. What if they just love to drink thick beer? Then you don't say anything. You don't say a word. You know who doesn't get in trouble, Mike? The people that don't say nothing. I'm telling you, I'm like looking forward to people just putting their hand on my stomach. You are? Uh-huh. Because there's some chicks that don't dig it, man. I know. Yeah, I don't know how I feel. It creeps me out. That's my instinctive reaction. When I see a pregnant belly, like an obviously pregnant belly, I go, oh! That is so weird because that's my initial reaction when I see boobs. Yeah, I see. The exact same thing.

3:54:43Let me tell you something. Come here. L.O.B. L.O.B. does not strike me as the girl that will be okay with people putting their hands all over her. I don't know. Yeah. What if when she has children and they're in the grocery store and somebody's like, oh, aren't you cute? And they want to like coochie goo on her cheek. She'll be like, don't touch my freaking child. That's good. I'll let my kids be individuals. They will choose whether or not they get to get touched by strangers. This is what it will sound like when somebody puts their hand on her belly. Yeah. Smack. I mean, I always thought it depends on the person, I guess. But any woman can come up to my belly and touch it all day long. Yeah? Yeah. Not some creepy dude. Not some dude. Dudes cannot pull that. Any of you guys can do it all day long. Hey. Hillary, did you ever have the people that would come up to you in the grocery store when you were pregnant that would, oh, and just like put their hands on you? Yeah, a couple times. Did it freak you out or were you okay with it? Oh, it totally creeped me out. If it's someone I don't know. It kind of depends on the person. Men, hell no. But if it's a woman, it kind of depends on her approach. But even so, I don't know. Being pregnant, it's a trippy thing. People do that. See, I'm so like, I like to touch people. And I'm like, if I'm talking to a stranger, I'll even put my hand on their shoulder or something. Hey, I'm a touchy-feely guy, and I know better. Touching your belly feels a little more intimate than touching your shoulder. Oh, yeah. For sure. M1 Harold.

3:56:07I'm with Woods on this. As a man, you never, ever, ever ask. My wife's been pregnant three times, so I know what a pregnant woman looks like. Yeah. I had a co-worker who I could have sworn she was eight, nine months pregnant. But instead of asking her, I asked another co-worker. I said, hey, what does she do? And they looked at me and they go, she ain't pregnant. Oh, my God. Harold, have you ever asked a woman? Heck no. I'm smart. I'm like Woods, man. You never ask. Play it safe. Even if she is, it's risky. Still none of your damn business when she's due. I loved it. I was like, I'm doing August just like, oh, I can tell you're going to be such a good mom. You're glowing. And I was like, oh. Yeah. Thanks, Santa, for letting me rub your belly. That was pretty cool out of the sticker strike. Rub it all day. So weird. Wow. Rubbing the pregnant belly is great, man. It does nothing for me. It creeps me out. Really? Yeah, there's a little human in there. I know, but I want to see if I feel like a little movement. Yeah, there's movements now. Todd had his face on my belly, and he's like, I built it last night, and he gets really excited. I like it. I love it. Hillary, what do you got coming up?

3:57:17You know, I grabbed some Oasis because there's an interesting rumor going around about who might be playing. You know how the Noel Gallagher's have gone their separate ways? The Gallagher brothers, I should say. There's a rumor about who could be sort of stepping in with one of them. And it's kind of interesting. So I'll play some Oasis to talk about that. Will you tell me off the air? Because I'm a huge Oasis fan. If you're good. I'll be good. That won't happen. Those dudes don't get along. That's okay. They're brothers. I mean, some brothers fight. They're brilliant, though. Yeah, they should. Try to work it out so they can play together. Make great music. They do. But Noel's the talent. Wow. He's a talent. He's a talent. The lovely and talented Hillary. Speaking of talent. Coming up next. That's right. Nice. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. The Mikey Show is out. Hey. Financial media station. Mikey in the morning. About the music all day and night. FM 94.9. It's about the music.