The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 04/22/10

0:00KBZT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. How you doing? What was that? Hola. Yeah, it was a British import. It's different. It's a remix, so it's a little bit different. British import. It is. I wish my wife, if my wife were here right now, I would say, Babe, can you... Can you do that thing in my back? Do you guys do the left? Left. Down, down, down, down, down. Right there. Right there. Harder. Right there. Is that scratching your back? Scratching. And also she does great thumbs in my back, in my ribs. Massage. I can reach every part of my back. You can? Wow. Oh, Sienna, that's awesome because I cannot. I think it's a weird gift. It is. I don't know.

3:15People have, like, tested me. Right here. Go where my finger is. I can do it. For real. Can you touch your elbows behind your back? It's an old trick. Old trick in the book. I just tried it. I know. Is that like a boob thing? Yes. Of course it is. Were you in eighth grade? Come on. Well, I fell for it again, so. 570-1949. Amazing. Or 949mikey at gmail.com. When I was in high school, I didn't realize that girls with big boobs were self-conscious about it. I thought that girls with big boobs thought that it was cool. Yeah, because we sure did. Well, we sure did. And so I thought that they did because we did. So I thought it was like having beautiful eyes and they were kind of proud of it. And I remember this girl that I was really good friends with. I was super good friends with her. Her name was Jessica. And we were like as tight as you could be. but not anything going on between the two of you because I wasn't attractive enough. Besties. Besties. Besties. And I used to have tons of bits that revolved around her boobs. Yeah, of course. Double D Jessica. Yeah, I mean, just like, you know, little pantomimes that I would do and things that I thought were hysterical. And she finally, you know, after like a year, said, I've never told you, but I don't like it.

4:41I feel self-conscious about them. I'm embarrassed of them. And I had no idea. You know what you should have said? Just show them to me. Let's just get them out of the way. Let me give them a dry run and we'll see what happens. Just let me touch them. Yeah. Show them to me. I'll tell you. It's like one of those things, though, that, I mean, everyone just stares at. Especially when you're that age and it's like, okay, really? Can you just stop looking at them for a second? Nope. She was real embarrassing. She never let on that she was embarrassed about him. Because everybody would say stuff to her. And she wouldn't say anything. Does that make you think that maybe she should cut it out 20 years later? Would she? No. Zero. No. Because maybe some girls don't care. I don't really care. Sienna doesn't care. She's heard it. She's heard everything. My entire life I'm numb now. You know what I mean? She's numb. Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb. Wow. Doesn't run in my family. Gallops, you know that. She's completely desensitized to it. Just keep telling yourself that. Call us. You can call us. 570-1949. Get in here and talk to us because we're going to be taking some time off. And you want to talk to us before we do that. Yeah, we are. Yeah. Nice elbows in my back. I was supposed to get cracked at the chiropractor yesterday and I didn't go. Why?

6:05I wasn't feeling good, and so I took NyQuil in the middle of the day. It had no effect on me. Really? None. It had no effect. Usually it puts me into a coma. Yeah. Didn't. I think the weather got me really grouchy and sad yesterday. It did? Because I went home and slept till four. Oh, wow. Four. Did you really? Yes. Like 11 to four? Yes. Why? You were sleepy. I did nothing in my apartment. Really? Yeah. That's a long time. That is a long nap. I feel great today. Yeah, I bet. I feel very rested. Yeah, you're like, let's do this. Let's get this show on the road. All right, let's see. There's a few things happening, but I just want to really quickly introduce. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's Pepper O'Brien. That's Sienna. And that's Jay, our producer, in the other room. Her real name's Lauren, but we call her Pepper. Is it? Mm-hmm. It says Pepper on her birth certificate. I'm changing my phone, by the way.

7:04Don't. I was going to do that with my email. I'm going to. You guys. I was going to take Lauren out and put Pepper in because I want to type that and then I'm like, oh, I can't type. It's Lauren I have to type. I just call her Pep when I text her. There's a movie, the Iron Man movie coming out. The girl's name is Pepper. Yeah, Gwyneth Paltrow's character is Pepper. So it's not cool anymore. It's very cool. That makes it cooler. No. A hundred. Her name is Pepper? Yeah. I think if I could be anybody in the world, it would be Tony Stark. Yeah. From that movie. Yeah. How cool is he on the cover of Rolling Stone? The coolest. Is he the Iron Man? Yes. So, like, wouldn't it not be cool if I started calling you the Iron Man? You can call me Iron Man any day. Oh, gosh. The Iron Man. That's so dumb. You can just shorten it and call him Iron. Iron. Mm-hmm. I am. Mm-hmm. I am. But that sounds weird. I want to be Tony Stark. Yeah, I want to be that smart, that good looking, that much money. That funny. That funny. That hip, that cool. He's so cool. Yeah. He's in the back of, in the very first movie, he's in the back of a Humvee. They fly him out to Afghanistan. He's in the middle of fighting. All these soldiers are dressed up in their, you know. Garb. In their garb. They're in a Humvee driving him to like a bad place. And he's in a suit with a scotch. Scotch in his hand.

8:29He's got scotch in his hand. Sharp as can be. And the kid that's riding in the front of the Humvee says, hey, is it cool if I take a picture with you for my Facebook? And he goes, absolutely. And yes, it's cool. This is real life? No. This is on Iron Man. Why are they talking about Facebook in a movie? That's stupid. I tried to make it like today. It's really stupid. They're trying to. If you don't know the answer, just guess for sure. Yeah. Your question was, was this real? Like as in a documentary? I didn't know. Is Iron Man a documentary is what you meant? Yeah, there's a documentary out called Iron Man where this man named Tony Stark creates these weapons.

9:21I don't know if this is like Mikey's interpretation of what was happening in the Humvee. It's from a movie. But that's the actual dialogue that's stupid. Is this real? Wow. You can't put like little, I don't know. Yes, you can. They're talking about Facebook, so they make it. Is this real life? That's what I'm talking about, kid. It's Lauren at five. Lauren, at five years old, she hears them reference something current in a film and goes, no, little girl. It's a movie. It's a make-believe movie, but they're incorporating actual things in it. It just doesn't make the movie that timeless to make a Facebook reference. Imagine if they said MySpace. I think they actually do. I think he said... Don't put it on your MySpace page. Yeah. Yeah, and now already that's nerdy. He goes, I don't want to see this on your MySpace. Yeah, not already. Like, you're going to watch that now and be like, really? Nobody's using MySpace. She makes a point. Can we start over at 10? Hit the intro music. Just hit the intro music again. Why? We'll start from scratch. I think it's a good point. Is that, I mean, maybe I do this. All right, we'll see you later, guys. Everybody, you know, really listen to the words of this song. Oh, wow.

10:43And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. And we're back. So tell me, Mike, about that Iron Man movie. It's wonderful. They do this thing to make it seem like it's real. Oh. Where they incorporate actual pop culture references into it. Oh, that's clever. But it's a movie. But it's a motion picture. Right, right, right. I figured that. Great. Cool. With a character named Tony Stark played by Robert Downey Jr. He's not a real guy. Oh, really? Oh, the whole time I was like, who's Tony Stark? That pepper kills me, man. I don't know about real life and pop culture. I just don't know. Write that down. Write that down. Please. Please. Please write that down. I read literature, Mike. I don't know about real life. Is this Lord of the Flies? Because if it isn't, then what's the point? Yesterday, you had ambrosia for your bumper music. And I said, is this Michael McDonald? Yeah. Every day. She just throws out guesses. Yeah.

11:45She is the guest queen. She'll just throw out a guest. And it's always the craziest guest. And no one even knows who that person is. Uh-huh. Really? Okay. Is that like your uncle? That is a good observation as well. M1 Sleepy, hi. Good morning. How are you? I'm good. How are you doing? Great. Now that I'm listening to you in the morning. Nice. I just wanted to comment. It's true that women with large breasts are very self-conscious. And I had breasts starting in fifth grade, C-bra in fifth grade. Wow. All the boys liked you, I bet. Yeah, and it's just, I wasn't fat or anything. It's just, it runs in a family. Big butt, big boobs, it just runs in a family. I'm sold. Go on. Well, it's just, if they're real, you're more self-conscious. And if they're not real, women who have their breasts... done are just like hey look at me and it's just like for me it's just like well let me ask you let me ask him one sleepy you were self-conscious but were you self-conscious of the the boys or were you self-conscious of the girls like who was it that you were like oh i don't want you judging me was it the boys or the girls

13:04Definitely boys. The boys. It's still like that. Like there are times where I definitely, you know, like I'll go somewhere where I need to wear a nice dress or something and it's really low cut. And I'm like, oh, I love this dress. It fits so good. But maybe they're showing too much. I don't know. People are going to think I look awful. Right, right, right. Not awful. They'll think I look great. Now that I'm older and wiser, I use it to my advantage. Of course. Yeah, so show them your stuff, man. Woods. says, show them your stuff. See, I always face the opposite problem. Like when she was getting people staring at her teacups in fifth grade, people were saying, Lauren, Lauren, dressed in black, why is your chest as flat as your back? Oh, wow. That's not, that isn't painful. That isn't painful. I was the last person to get the boobs too. I was flat as a board. Me too. Mikey. Got them now, though, don't I? They're nice, too. I have amazing breasts now. I'm like, how can I lift these? You know, what can I do to make these? You know, if I had plastic surgery, what would they do? Would they push them to the side? Would they, you know? I think there'd be a day. Now I'm doing push-ups, you know, so I can, like. You guys are lucky, though. If I gain weight, that's not where it goes. I wish it did. That's where it goes for me. It goes to my gut and my boobs. That goes right to my boobs. And my chin. My chin. Okay, I'm one sleepy.

14:29M1 Cat, are you there? Hi, Cat. I'm here. Hello. Good morning. Good morning. I love that one. Thank you for getting me to work once again. Where are you going? Where do you work at? Pendleton. Nice. You know that, Mike. Oh, it's my friend, Cat. Yeah. This is my friend, Cat. Hey, how you doing? I'm good. So it's raining and I'm sleepy and I'm getting to work. So I have some kombucha tea. Yes. Do you really? And it's the Kombucha Trinity. I don't know if you've tried it. Oh, that's my fave. Yeah, but it was $5 a bottle. Oh, that's not my fave. It is probably the same. It was just at some little local health food store, and I'm thinking, you've got to know a better place. Yeah, I would go bigger than that, like Henry's, Jimbo's. Sprouts, places like that would have it. Where's Sprouts? That's out in like San Marcos. That would be the last place I would probably ever shop. Let's go to Sprouts after work. Henry's was doing a two for five dollars. They were, yeah. I'm surprised they're not doing a ten for one dollar. You know, try crumbs or barley. Proteins. Go to proteins. Go to wheat. They carry it. Wheats has it. Belly lip. Yeah. Yeah, I look for it on sale and then I stock up because they are the weather.

15:50They're running a special at Enzymes right now, so if you go there. They really do work, though. I had a little bit of a cold, and I've been drinking it for two days straight, and I'm totally fine now. See, Mike? Thank you, kombucha. Yeah. You're really starting to craze. You really are. It really is. You've turned a lot of people on there. Nobody drank this stuff before she got here. I'd never heard of it before she got here. Well, my thought is, too, like, it is, it's on the pricey side compared to, like, a can of Coke, but people spend, like, $5 on a coffee. A day. And smoothies and stuff like that are even more. You know what the Coca-Cola? Yeah. Tastes good. It's got sugar in it. Tastes delicious. Tastes real good. Kombucha. Kombucha tastes like vinegar. Like pee pee. I would try kombucha if it didn't have floating things in it. That's what gets me. I probably would too. The thing is, Tiana, pregnant women aren't supposed to. Well, I said tell you. Oh, my goodness. I'll try it in September. Yeah. If you have human life inside of you, they recommend not drinking it. Maybe I won't try it at all, actually.

16:48Kat, you're awesome. I'll talk to you later. All right, guys. Have a good day. Enjoy. I love it. Do it again one more time. Hold on. I'm going to load up. He's parched. There you go. There you go. It's a little dry. I love that. He had to wet the pipes. Balloon Dad. We all remember Balloon Dad from Colorado. The little kid gets in his Mylar balloon. That was the craziest thing that's ever happened. And floats away. And we're all watching nervously on CNN Live as the little boy floats away. And it turns out the little boy was never in the Mylar balloon. The dad had concocted the whole stupid story to promote said Mylar balloon. Mylar. That he had created himself. He'd invented this stupid contraption. And he was called out on it live on the NBC Today show. So brilliant. And his kid actually busted him. Didn't he throw up too? Yeah. He was throwing up the whole interview. Yeah, the little boy. Yeah. It's not funny, but it's just like something ain't right. He was so nervous, I think. Yeah. And the kid blew it for him because he said, you know, Matt Lauer on the Today show asked the little boy a question about it. And he's like, you know.

18:13Why did you get into the Mylar balloon, little man? And the little guy's like, because Dad said so. It was awful. Yeah, we did it for the show. We did it for the show. You said we did it. You told me we did it for the show. That's what you told me, Dad. Yeah, you told me it was for the show. He's like, kids say the darndest things. No, Mike, the best part. This little guy's hired in a kite, Matt. The best part was the mom saying, what? Yeah. No? No. Why would you say that? Where was I? I don't remember. What? Yeah. I remember the story. I don't remember the Today Show. The interview was like, oh, that was the most awkward interview I've ever seen. Think about Matt Lauer. He's probably so stoked. Oh, yeah. I'm doing backflips on his way home. Like, yeah. Busted. Cracked the case. So what's the latest with Balloon Dad? Well, Richard, is it Heaney? Heen? Sure. Henny. I don't think it's Henny. Okay. Heaney. It's Heaney. Richard. Heine. Heine. Huffleupagus? Yeah. Make it like a heine-ho. Is it heine? I think so. I think so, but I could be wrong. I'm going to go with you, Mike. Maybe it's heine. Heine. I don't know. Anyway. Richard. What's the latest? He just finished his 90-day sentence with home detention this month, and now his wife is about to serve her 20-day sentence on the weekends, but he has to pay restitution. $36,000. Wow. What does he look up the word restitution? Payback. Yeah? You got to pay the state.

19:38Yeah. For all the resources that you drained from them. Restitution. Payback. Payback. I'm surprised it's not more than 36. Me too. That was a crazy story. Everyone was going nuts about it. We're going to have Kevin Acey on the show coming up. Staff writer for the San Diego Union Tribune talking about the draft tonight. Let's see. Oh. The oil rig explosion is gigantic news right now. Yeah. What's the latest? Well, it happened Tuesday night, 50 miles off the coast of Louisiana. And the Coast Guards were searching overnight for the 11 workers who are missing. Now, this explosion happened, like I said, Tuesday night. 100 workers made it aboard a supply boat. There were four critically injured, 17 other people injured. And now people are still looking for these 11 workers who are missing after the explosion. So hopefully they find them. But they think they're not exactly sure what went wrong.

20:39It's still being investigated. Hey, this happened yesterday right as we were getting off the air. But Big Ben, Ben Roethlisberger, has been suspended for six games for conduct unbecoming. That's crazy. Those are regular season games? Yes, regular season games. So basically the deal is this. They suspended Big Ben for six games. It can be reduced to four games if he behaves. Now, I spent... a lot of my time yesterday watching SportsCenter about this story. And what they're saying now is they want to trade him. Really? The Steelers want to trade him. And they are actively sending out feelers to teams with a top 10 pick. Okay, so the Rams, for example, everybody thinks today, because today's a draft, everybody thinks Sam Bradford goes number one to the Rams. They need a quarterback more than anything. He's not the best player in the draft, but that's what they need. Okay. What they're saying is they're going to trade Big Ben if somebody bites. Now, if you've got one of those top ten picks, do you trade for a guy that has this reputation? Even though he's won two rings and he's established and he knows what he's doing? Obviously, what they were saying yesterday is the Steelers, they just don't think he can change. They thought if he could change, okay, then we'll ride out the suspension and he'll come back mid-season or whatever. But they're saying...

22:07Listen, we think this is going to happen again. We're going to get rid of this guy now. Really? Yeah. Well, my philosophy on it, because a lot of times guys will go, let's say you're a team that's picking in the top 10 and you're thinking about drafting a quarterback. Yep. And he's good. Let's say he's good. Sam Bradford. Okay. And you have the opportunity to draft. You have the opportunity to trade for Ben Roethlisberger. Yep. And then you don't get to pick first. You move down. Yep. Well, I like the philosophy of do that. And the reason is because the person that you're drafting is a gamble. Right. He might turn out to be a good player. I mean, Sam Bradford last year, he was hurt most last year with shoulder problems. Right shoulder problems. He's a right-handed quarterback. But they say he's over that. But is he? And let's say he didn't even have that. and he was the greatest prospect ever, he still hasn't played one game in the NFL, whereas you're looking at a guy like Ben Roethlisberger that won two Super Bowls. He won two Super Bowls. Gruden last night made a really interesting comment. He goes, think about this, you guys. In the Super Bowl last year, Big Ben is dropping back and throwing a touchdown pass to Santonio Holmes for the game winner. Now neither of them.

23:32are probably going to be there because of their actions. So let me give you the first 10 picks in the draft. St. Louis desperately needs a quarterback. Detroit, no, they've got Matt Stafford. Tampa Bay could always use a quarterback. Washington Redskins just got McNabb. They won't need one. Kansas City, they have Matt Castle. Seattle, they have... They could use one. Don't they have Hasselbeck? They could use one. No, and they just got our guy, our third stringer. Charlie Whitehurst. Cleveland needs a quarterback. Bad. Oakland. They got Jamarcus Russell, but they need a quarterback. And they don't like Jamarcus Russell. Buffalo could use a quarterback. And Jacksonville. So, dude, I mean. Anything could happen. Anything could happen today. And it's probably one of the most interesting drafts in the last 10 years because of this situation. Roethlisberger and his creepy actions or even accused creepy actions. Could change the whole face of the draft today. Absolutely. The whole face. I think someone's going to take him. You think somebody pulls the trigger? Yeah, because one thing I like about the Steelers, like, it's easy to not like them because they're just so good and they're always winning. And it's like, all right, boring. Same thing with the Patriots, yes, and the Yankees and stuff. You know, you're like, okay, it's easy to hate on the team that always wins. But I like that they're old school in that respect. Like, they're going to get them out of there, I think.

24:57There's a lot of teams that have no problems picking up the scraps. The Dallas Cowboys. Yep, exactly. T.O. and then the Cowboys. I think, I don't know, I agree Ben has put himself in this situation, but I live with one of the biggest dealer fans of all time, born in Pennsylvania and everything. He's got to be hating it. I mean, but the thing is, it's like, man, Ben, the case was dropped. Like, what happened to Innocent told proven guilty? He wasn't proven guilty. Why is this happening? I'll tell you. I'll tell you what they said. They said there is so much stuff. Do you want the clip of Roger Goodell? No. I'm going to tell you what they said yesterday. Okay. They said there is so much stuff out there right now in this report that would really, really, if you read it, would really, really skeeve you out. Yeah. And it's a whole report on the first incident and it's a report on this incident. And they just said, man, we don't think this guy can change. We just don't think he gets it. I just, I don't know. He's a football player. You know what that must mean? You know what that just said to me? What? You said it earlier and it didn't click. When you said it earlier, I thought to myself, that's dumb. Anybody gets it. Thanks, pal. You know, well, not of you, of the team. No, no, no, no. I thought the team, I thought that's dumb of them to think that. Like, what do they mean? But when you said it right now, I think I just understood. I think their evaluation yielded.

26:25A guy who doesn't think he did something wrong. Right. That's a problem. I saw a bunch of pictures yesterday of him. He had this T-shirt on. It said, drink like a champion today. He's hammered drunk. Hammered. That could be an old picture. Yeah, it was actually like two years ago. I agree. I think that he's an idiot. Todd has got to be... Isn't Todd like kind of... Yeah, but Todd is not happy with the Steelers right now. Is he not? Because he's like, you know... How are you going to do this? And we were talking about it a lot last night. And it's like, I'm going to say again, Ben's an idiot. He put himself in this situation. But couldn't anyone, like couldn't I today find one of the best escorts maybe on the planet? Send it over to the Broncos where the Broncos hang out. Pay her to come on our show and say what happened. Be different though. I don't know. You're not forcing yourself on her. Well, it would be. Yeah, but his charges were dropped. He wasn't charged. The first time, you're 100% right. Okay, so the first time the charges were dropped. I totally get it. I think that what the Steelers are saying is, we didn't want you going into bars getting hammered. In the first place. And I understand that. I'm just trying to think from every different point of view because all I hear about is the Steelers at home all night because he's freaking out. Yeah.

27:45I mean, you lose your quarterback for six games. That's almost half a season. Yeah. Even four games is 25% of the season, you know. A lot of people are calling in right now about it. Yeah. 5701949. So we'll talk more about it when we come back. We got somebody on the line that wants to talk about the draft. We got M1 Whooby, who I'm sure is fired up. She's always fired up. I didn't do it, Whooby. I didn't do anything. Be nice, Whoobs. Whoobs is calling in, too. support Ben Roethlisberger. Oh, wow. Okay. I think she loves him. She is a Steelers fan. Oh, she is. She does love him. And so we'll let her have her say here. So don't go away. This is today. Our boy Woodsy is picking the music. And this is Robert Earl Keene. I'm coming home. It's very fitting. That's right. He's going home today. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. I'm ready. Call 570-1949. Keep going all day. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. I guess I was a little confused about that part. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. They've been called the best live band in the world. Now, San Diego, it's your chance to see them. Muse. September 22nd at VA House Arena. Including music from the new album, The Resistance. Available now. Muse.

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35:03Well, it's going to be a busy morning with all this rain. This report brought to you by StandForLess.com. How do you save energy, water, and live a conservation lifestyle? You go to StandForLess.com and share your story. The winner will receive a one-night stay at the beautiful La Valencia Hotel and dinner for two at George's at the Cove. 5 northbound at the 76. Sig alert issued here. We've got an accident. The lane number 5 is blocked right now. 15 southbound before Scripps Poway Parkway, an injury accident. Sig alert issued here as well. Five cars, they're blocking the number four and six lanes. Ambulance is on the scene. They're waiting on tow trucks. And looks like the 94 westbound ramp to 28th Street. We've got an overturn truck. You got it. Sig alert issued here. That off-ramp is closed right now. This report brought to you by Arco. Arco, home of the Straight Up Gas Institute, where a unique formula, good gas for less cash. Arco, Straight Up Gas. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now, back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Woodsy's picking the music. Little Ryan Adams. Crying the man is the name of the song. Welcome back to the Mikey Show. And tonight is the NFL Draft. Let's get right to it. Let's do it, man. Let's talk to, should we just talk to him? Let's just go. Let's just talk to Kevin Acy. All right, let's go. What's on sports? Are you there, Kevin? I am. I am. Kevin Acy's on the phone. He is a staff writer for the San Diego Union Tribune. Hey, Kevin, did I wake you up this morning?

36:35You did not wake me up. I woke up of natural causes. We gave him such a hard time. They did. They're like, you can't call him so early. At 4.55 a.m.? It was 5.22. And I said, it's draft day. He's up. No. I'm not that excited about it. So you were not up. So you woke up just a couple minutes ago. You're, I'm sure, thinking about the draft first thing, right? Well, not the first thing, but, you know, I got other things on my mind there. I got to pee, brush my teeth. Exactly. Hey, yeah, I'm excited. Look, I despise the pre-draft lead-up because we're talking so much speculation. I go to the senior bowl before I go on to the... Well, this year it was the Pro Bowl and then the Super Bowl. Go to the Senior Bowl in Mobile, Alabama. And that's where it starts. And so we're talking the middle of January because somehow the Chargers are always out of the playoffs by then. Wait a minute, Kevin. Kevin. Now, when you said that, Woods, he stood up. Took a bow. Took a bow. And because we've had this conversation. Woods, when I say to him, dude, I'm really interested in the draft. Can we talk some draft stuff? Woods says, there's nothing to say. It's all speculation. Right. And I said.

38:03Okay, but I want to know who they're speculating we might take. I want to know who they're speculating we might draft. I'm interested. Do you pay attention to that? Absolutely. Wait, wait. Do I pay attention to it what? For the last couple months? Not this year. Just because I've been busy. But in other years, I'm interested in who these guys are because they're going to be the superstars of the future. You know when I'm really interested? After they draft them, then I'm stoked. Then I go back, and then I look and say, all right, what did this guy do? Then I'll, like, watch game film of these guys going, okay, now I'm excited. Really? Thank you. Now, this is when I get excited, and I am very excited about the whole primetime thing, the fact that it's going to be first round tonight and then the second and third round tomorrow night, and I think it's really going to... give, like, the second and third roundup more importance and we're going to pay more attention. Yeah. Because even, you know, though I'm there watching every pick because it's my job, and I'm exactly like, well, I get excited when we know, okay, this is who's going to be Chargers. Because, see, that's my job and, unfortunately, my life. I like to come on ready to do a little confession. That's my life. Yes, that's how sad it is. I'm very into it now. Very into it now.

39:16And, hey, it's 630, and I'm already excited. Wow, thanks. You guys did that for me. You're welcome, dude. Okay, now, if I understand you correctly, Kevin, you're saying that two months ago, it's not interesting. But today, it is interesting. It's somewhat interesting. I'm just not, you know what, I rebel against what it has become. And the fans start asking me about it in November. And we have no idea who's going to be a Charger. We have no idea who's going to be good. And even today, obviously, we have no idea. People will put out a draft grade on Monday, right? Now it's three days long. It's either Sunday or Monday. People will say, ooh, the Charger's got a B and the Patriots got a A and all this. Give me a break. I know, and it's like, you know what, you want to give me a report card, give me this report card for this draft in 2013. Wow, yeah. I had no idea that we thought alike like this. We do. It's like, you know what, being from Texas where football is king, I have a lot of friends that went to UT, and every stinking year I get the call, do you see who the Longhorns got today? And I'm like, yeah, you got a 17-year-old kid.

40:30Big deal. Let's see what happens. See, and I am so interested in who these guys are, and I'm so interested in what they've done now in college and how good they are, what kind of prospect they are. It's exciting to me. It makes it exciting when I see them play these preseason games, and I love it. Oh, now I'm starting to get with you in terms of now, but it's still like the Chargers drafted in 2007 a kid named Buster Davis. He's been hurt. At that time, they thought they were pretty good. They drafted this guy a little bit of a project, but they have expected him to make more than 30 catches, which is what he's made in three years. So you would call him a bust right now. But Buster is pretty talented. If his body will cooperate and he'll get healthy, he can be a very, very good receiver. What are you going to say two years from now when he's a really good receiver? Or Antoine Cason, who they drafted two years ago. Hey, let's turn it around. Sean Merriman went to the... Look, and I hope Sean's not listening. Three years in a row, rookie year, second year, third year, he goes to the Pro Bowl. Then he gets hurt. Last year, still recovering. What if, and I don't think this is going to happen, even if Sean, you know, we're listening. Hey, Kevin, I'm going to tell you, there's a very good likelihood he's listening. Really? Good. I'm just busting around.

41:57See, everyone knows that I think Sean is going to return to form and that I think that he's going to go on to make, you know, humongous dollars for another team. That's another story. We could talk about that. But what if he doesn't? I know. What did we think of him after three years? Was he a bust? What are we going to think of him after 10 years? Now, I'm just saying, that's me bringing up an example. We've got to look. Okay, I tell you what, Kevin, let's do this. Let's forget specific players. Right. But let's talk about what. what the Chargers may try to fill in the first round. Okay. Everyone knows they need a running back, right? A guy named LT left. I do not think it's running back first round. There are a lot of other avenues for them to get running backs, including a trade, which is possible, or second or third round because they don't need another LT. They're not going to get another one, so they might as well not look. What if this kid best is on the board from Cal? What if he's on the board when they're picking at 28? No, no, no. You don't like him? At 40 maybe, but not at 28. And there's a lot of reasons for that. And that's because, you know, they made that trade, got rid of Charlie Whitehurst, and got moved up to the 40th spot. That's only 12 spots. I'm doing the math. It's only 12 spots after 28. So that's a really good pick, and there's a lot of really good running backs. They need help on defense, either a nose tackle. Terrence Cody.

43:19You know, so, well, maybe, Cody, a little big, some concern. I think what people need to stop thinking about, and I know we're getting a little. I love this stuff. I eat this stuff up. Right now as you're talking, I'm soaking it up like bread, soaking up gravy. I love it. Now, meanwhile, Pepper and Sienna, their eyes have glazed over like sharks that are about to attack their prey. Their eyes have rolled back, and they've gone over white because they don't get any of it, which I understand. Yeah, you lost me when you started going 28 and 40 pick, and I'm like, I don't know what that is. That lost you or the football lost? The football. You're very captivating. The football aspect, she doesn't understand. Every team gets to pick Sienna and they are numbered. I knew that, but it's like I don't know how they're ordered. They're ordered different every year. And the way that they're ordered is if they lost, if they lost the most games, they're first. If they lost the second most, and it goes like that. So the Chargers picked late because they were good. So the best is at the end. Yes, the best is at the end. So the Lions aren't first this year? No, the Lions are not. The Rams are. The Rams are, yeah. The Rams are first because they were the worst. Lions are second. Lions are second. All right, I'm in again. There you go. And so you think they'll go defensively with their first pick, the Chargers? I tried to really, no offense.

44:32I'm trying to really dumb it down. That's right. FM radio. FM radio. We don't want to lose people, but people keep thinking they're going to get this person to replace Jamal Williams. And they very well might if a Dan Williams from Tennessee is available. And they could surprise me and go for Terrence Cody, who you just mentioned. But I'm thinking more like a guy who can play all over the line because if people watched last year, Chargers did a real rotation on the line. Let's see. How do I say it? their specific positions, and guys were playing all over the place. And I think that's what they're going to do now. And that's why I think a guy like Brian Price from UCLA is their pick. I love it. Yeah, just a guy that's kind of a hybrid, a dude that can play anywhere. That's what they want, interchangeable parts. And you know what's going to happen? You know what we were talking about earlier? As soon as they pick him, oh, man, oh, that guy sucks. Yeah, oh, for sure. Sounds like an Eagles fan. You know, oh, you know what? He can't get out of his stance. Oh, I know. Come on. Let me tell you this, man. When I lived in Dallas, we picked a guy out of Troy. His name was DeMarcus Ware. And the town was in an uproar. Who the hell is this guy? This is our first-round pick. One of the best players in the NFL.

45:46One spot ahead of Sean Merriman. There you go. That's right. Hey, listen, we really appreciate you coming on, Kevin. I love talking Charger football with you. Absolutely. And, you know, you're going to have a long day, bro. You have a long day today. Are you in New York or are you here in San Diego? When the team picks 28, there's no reason to lose. Of course. Yeah, the guy that they're picking is going to be at home, you know, today. Yeah, he won't be there. Yeah, so no, I'm in town. I appreciate it. Kevin, you're the best, and we appreciate having you on the show, man. Thanks, brother. Right on. Have a good one. Bye. It's Kevin Acy. M1 Whoopi has been holding patiently. Whoopi, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Hi, Whoopi. Hello. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Whoopi, you're calling to support Big Ben? I'm just calling to support the Roonies, giving him the opportunity to stay for one more season. Really? As I put on my Facebook page, This is going to be the season that Ben has to play like his life depends on it. And that's going to be great for my fantasy league. As a lifelong Steeler fan, grew up outside of Pittsburgh, the Roonies have set the stage for how a football management team should be. And as you know, or maybe you don't know, Ben has kind of a bit of a reputation around Pittsburgh.

47:13Not just these instances that have been publicized or lawsuits. But his nickname around town is Dirty Ben. Wow. Yeah. Wow. He's got a bit of a rep. So I can understand why they're a little frustrated that they're dealing with this mess with him yet again. Part of his condition for his suspension is to get a complete mental evaluation. Therapy. Now, if that's the deal, and this is what I have to point out. They know a lot more about Ben than we do. And so when you're hearing things like this, that organization knows a lot more about Ben than we know about Ben. Hey, Woods, what do you think about them trading Ben because they don't think he can change? Well, here's the thing with that. I know that they might have asked his representation. when some of these other local things and feedback got around town. I'm sorry, Pittsburgh's not the biggest town. You hear the rumors pretty quickly. And I know that the Rooney team asked his team to have him sit down and talk to somebody about some of his behaviors. That didn't happen, so I guess they feel that if he's not willing to do the work to change, he's not worth the...

48:36Wow. Well, I mean, it's a bit of an investment. I feel that we, you know, now that the NFL has stepped in and it's basically like your job saying, this is your last chance. You're on suspension. Yeah. You have to do this to keep your job. Now it's there. I got to move on. I appreciate it. We'll be. Thank you. Have a good morning. Yeah. I mean, if it's a deal where there's been other instances that weren't publicized, if keyword, if, cause I don't know, I don't live in Pittsburgh. I don't know. But let's say that that's true and the organization heard about it and they called him in the office. They said, hey, man, what's this? Make it right. And he goes, I don't know what that is. That's a, you know, come on. And then. Guys, you know me. Month later, maybe something else. Coach pulls him in and says, hey, man, this is something else. What is this? And maybe there's been a few of those. And then there's the big one that happens. In Tahoe. And then this one. And so I think that maybe they're just going, hey, man. This is too much, man. We're taking too much flack. Time to go. Does your husband, Sienna, because he's a Pittsburgh fan, does he think he should stay? He thinks Ben's an idiot for doing all of this and putting himself in a situation when he's in such a great spot to be in. But I think he's kind of bummed. He'll be bummed if the Steelers let him go. It's a hard thing. It's a quarterback-driven league, and it's a hard thing to find a guy that not only can get you to the playoffs, but can win Super Bowls. He's a rock on the field. He's got two.

50:03But aren't the Steelers, don't they have a big running game? Yeah, for sure, but this is a quarterback league. I think gone are the days of the Trent Dilfers of the world managing a team to get them to the Super Bowl because of defense and running. You've got to have a QB. Is this Roger Goodell? Yeah, this is Roger Goodell, Mike, talking about the suspension, cut one. You all have seen the reports. There's a lot of facts that are being disputed. It wasn't prosecuted. You know, there's enough out there that reflects very poorly on him as an individual, the Steelers, every player in the NFL and the NFL in general. And that's troublesome. And that's why we have the policy. That's why it's going to be applied to him. It's so weird to see a guy in a suit. At a rave. At a rave. Especially when you're the NFL commissioner. When you're the NFL commissioner giving a statement while you have glow sticks in your hand. He's just having a good time. He's chewing on a candy necklace. Chewing on a candy necklace. He's like, do as I say, not as I do. Right. Knock it out. He's like, anyway, I got to go. I've got to go get a plastic cup. Placifier. Yeah, and then also, Mike, this is Art Rooney II, fully supporting the decision of the commissioner cut to. I agree and support the decision the commissioner made today in the discipline for Ben Roethlisberger. I made comments last week that I believe the discipline was appropriate in this case.

51:28And I support the level of discipline and the plan for professional evaluation and potentially follow-up. And I never change the tone of my voice ever. Anytime I talk, I don't know what inflection is. I got Pepper to laugh because he was doing it. I put my hand up to my face like I was on my cell phone. I had my face shoved into the phone. This is what it sounded like. We got time for a couple more stories because there's a big one we need to get to. The San Diego Padres are in first place. They swept. The Giants, they have won six in a row. Oh, my goodness. John Garland went seven strong last night. Pitch great, finally getting some return on that almost $5 million investment for him this year. Won his first game of the year. They won 5-2. Gonzo hit a homer. Nick Hundley hit a homer. They're going to Cincinnati to take on the Reds. So they are feeling it. Yeah. Now, to say the least. I hope they keep doing it. Me too, man. Is it bad that I don't want to get excited because I feel like I'm going to jinx it? No, it's not. Because it's the city of San Diego. I was talking to my buddy. This is what happens every year to us. Talking to my buddy, Winder, who was at the game. He goes, he texted me the other night and he goes, dude, 13 games in, there's 2,000 people here. How many people can it hold? Like 10,000? No, like 50,000. Oh, really? I think 40, 50. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He goes,

52:47Good guess, though. Good guess. Good guess. She is the guessing queen. Oh, my gosh. We should make that. How many people fit in there? Like 500, 400? I'll be writing a Perry song called The Guessing Queen very soon. Could all five of us go at the same time? Yeah, so he's like, dude, 13 games and there's 2,000 people here. And Matt Cain's pitching. I don't get it. I'm like, I don't either. You know what? What? Last year, they started out red hot. You broke your heart. Came out of the gates. Red hot. And I remember thinking, this team is, everybody, you know, said that they weren't going to do anything. And they are out there just killing it. They finished hot, too. What if we go to the World Series? That's what makes me nervous. Listen, you have to, as a baseball fan, it's such a long season. You have to temper your enthusiasm. Because you can't get, like, the Yanks have won six in a row. But I'm not shooting through the roof yet. There's 150 games to go. So, but. It's your bunch. Get out and support your bunch. I usually don't check in until, like, after mid-season. If they're over 500, I'm like, all right, I'm in. That's sad. Can I just tell you? You know, and I've said this before. I think of it like a relationship. I've gotten so excited about my San Diego Padres, okay? And I say my. I'm not even from here. You can say my. I say my because I fell in love with them. When I first moved here.

54:12I fell in love with them. And Petco is such a cool state. Petco is awesome. And so it's like a relationship. I completely invest myself in this relationship with this girl that breaks my heart every time. And my friends go, dude, why are you doing that? And I go, I'll tell you why. Because this time is different. And they go, really? And I go, you guys don't understand. She means a lot to me. And you know what? She's going to change. And you want to know something else inside? There's no question she's got a good heart. And so every year I'm like, and then you know what she does? She breaks my heart. And everybody looks at me and they're like, really, dude? And I go, you know what? Just wait until next year. And she won't. She needs some growing up. Explain this to me. And so right now, you know what she's doing? She's looking so beautiful.

55:10And gorgeous. Aiding on you. Bro. Yeah. And she's calling every day and everything's cool. I'm calling BS. Okay. I'm calling BS. Why? Because the Cubs haven't won a World Series 106 years, 108 years. Packed. Daily. Every day. Packed. That's a cultural thing. I think people like Wrigley Field. Isn't that the deal? Let's make it happen here. Yeah. Let's make it happen. I'm calling you, Padres fans. Get out there. I think you're right. Maybe there are more season ticket holders there. It's expensive, too, to do it, to go. That's not the deal. There's no parking. That's not the deal. No, because you can sit out on the grass for... 10 or 12 bucks or something like that. Yep, it's not the deal. Go out and support your bunch. I'm calling you out. Go make it happen. I wore a Padre hat the other day. 2,000 people, 13 games in a sack. It's very easy to say that, being that you have a girlfriend that's very faithful to you. And real good. And real good. She feels real good. She's a supermodel. We're San Diego. She's Christy Turlington. She's Christy Turlington, and she makes you dinner, and every year she doesn't disappoint you. You're a Yankee fan. No, she's disappointed me before. Oh, really? Yeah, dude. Yeah. Until when? The next season when she didn't?

56:16And she won the World Series. You don't worry about it. 28 times. 27. 27 times. Probably 28 this year. Oh, wow. Jay made a good point, though. This is San Diego. There's a lot to do, you know. Yeah, we got the beach. Yeah. Great. Yeah, a couple years ago, don't you remember the first couple Chargers home games weren't televised because until they sold out Qualcomm. It's called the Blackout. Yeah, they weren't going to. televise it, but now Chargers fans are in full effect. Honey, Michael. Rhett Miller is a pick of our boy Woodsy. It's called Firefly. It's very, very nice. Very honey-ish. Is it like honey? It's like honey. Turn it up. Turn it up. If you had to compare it to a condiment, what would you compare it to a condiment? Does it remind you of anything tangible? Honey. Jennifer Lopez, part owner of the Miami Dolphins. Weird. So do you think she has any idea who her team will be drafting tonight in the draft? No way. Well, I have audio next, and we'll see. Oh, wow. Because she was asked on the spot. She's still Jenny from the block. J-Lo. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Slightly Stupid. Live.

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1:04:01Well, we've got wet and icy roads in San Diego County. This report is brought to you by Subway. Subway now has breakfast like the Subway Western Egg White Muffin Milk. Well, we've got wet and icy roads in San Diego County. This report is brought to you by Subway. Subway now has breakfast like the Subway Western Egg White Muffin Milk. Custom-made just the way you want it. Build your better breakfast only at Subway. The 5 northbound before Las Floras Drive, we have a car that spun out, hit the center divider. Also checking out Poway the 67 at Scripps Poway Parkway. It's an overturned vehicle. It's on its side. Looks like somebody's trapped inside that car, too. In Escondido, on the 15 northbound before Valley Parkway, another spin-out hits center divider. Now in the number one lane, the driver's still stuck in the car. They're waiting on a tow truck. This report, it is also brought to you by Account Temps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Call or visit them at AccountTemps.com, an equal opportunity employer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Kerry Brothers, that song is called Ghost Town. Woodsy's picking the music today. Welcome back to the show. Our phone number here is 570-1949. And if you want to text message us, you can always text messages. Our text number is 949mikey at gmail.com. Yeah, Jennifer Lopez was on last night.

1:05:57on The Tonight Show, and she is part owner of the Miami Dolphins. So does she know anything about the draft? No way. Let's see. Oh, no. No, no, no. Is your computer plugged in? Oh, no. You want me to reenact what she said? No. Was she calling on a tin can attached to a string? Yes. Let's see. I think I can fix it. Yeah, I can. And I just did. Way to go. I just fixed it. Here we go. We have the 12th pick. Okay. Yeah. So I'm leaning towards, you know, Dan Williams. You know, we need a defensive tackle. Do we? Very good. Yeah. He's really, he's explosive off the line. He can beat the double team and does a nice job finishing the play. But that's just my opinion. She's got that written in her hand. Yeah. She was prepped beforehand, I'm sure. It's pretty good. Yeah. Let me tell you something. If I was a part owner of a hockey team, which I know nothing about, I'd want to know what was up. Absolutely. You know what I mean? It's like investing millions of dollars in the stock and not paying attention to where it's going. To what it does. It's something that I love, J-Lo. Yes, very. I do. She's just...

1:07:17Santa, I have a question for you. Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got. I'm not, girl. I'm not. What's she going to do with all that junk inside of that trunk? Wow. That's a great question. You know what? She's going to take care of it because she still looks good after having twins, that girl. I think J-Lo is so pretty. She's cute. She's spicy. She's like natural beauty. She's spicy? Is that what you said? Yeah, she's like sassy. Yeah. She is. I like her. I think she'd be fine. I wonder if you are saying that she's spicy. To hang out with. Because she's Latina. Maybe that's part of it. Yeah. I don't know. I didn't think about that, but you're Mexican, so you would probably. I bet you said that you'd think I'm spicy. No, I don't say that about you. You don't. He's a Spaniard. I am not Spanish. Spaniards are from Spain. And she's Puerto Rican. If she's not, you're dead. I wouldn't take a guess about that. It turns out that she's not. Is she? Well, she's American, but she's got Puerto Rican heritage. Puerto Rico. Thank you. Means the rich port, by the way. Thank you. You're welcome. Let's see. There's a new $100 bill out. Right. Mm-hmm. Debuted yesterday. Really?

1:08:34Yeah, they have to stay ahead of all the counterfeiters. So every so often they switch it up and now they've done the $100 bill. And let's see, I'll read you what's special about it. The new bill will contain a security feature called Motion, where each bill will contain up to 650,000 micro lenses embedded in the printing, which will allow you... will allow for an underlying image to shift when the bill is moved. It's weird looking. I saw it on TV. I really like it. You can't tell it's black and white on that picture, but the 100 on the back is like a yellow color. It looks cool. There's a blue stripe down the middle of it, though, that looks like a mistake. This is a weird question. Weird. Anyway. What does it do to the value of the money when it becomes more and more expensive to make that money? You know what I mean? What does that do to the value of our dollar? Does it have any impact? And our dollar is already in trouble. Yeah, our dollar is going down. But it seems like it would be expensive to microchip a $100 bill, you know? This is very naive of me, but I didn't know that it used to be. And I thought it still was. It used to be that our money was all backed up by something tangible. Gold.

1:09:48Gold. And I thought that that was still the deal. Is it not? No. What is it backed up by? Rice? It's backed up by... IOUs. IOUs. Yeah. Shouldn't we all go buy bars of gold, though? It's not backed up by gold anymore. But if something happens to the dollar, wouldn't it be good to have gold? Well, we do. We do have it. We have gold that used to back up the dollar, but it doesn't anymore. What backs up the dollar now is what they call futures. Isn't it funny what's worth something? But like... Like, why gold? Like, why not these? Why not these Cheez-Its? Why not Cheez-Its? Let's make Cheez-Its the new gold. I'll tell you why. Let's make rice the new gold. I'll tell you why. Why? Because you can easily make Cheez-Its. You can't easily make gold. Right. It's a natural resource. How about rice? You can't easily make rice. You can harvest rice. How about wheat? You can grow all those things. You just keep planting it. You can't plant gold. Gold, there's a finite amount of it. Yeah. And it's worth a lot. I'm going to figure... I'm going to find something. I'm going to figure something out. But what I mean is... Rocks. How about rocks? Rocks are not as beautiful and as valuable as gold. They're not. I'm saying let's put a new premium on something else and make that beautiful. Let's make rock or sand beautiful. There's something else special about gold. What? In addition to it being very beautiful when it's purified, it's also extraordinarily heavy, unlike a rock. Heavier than a rock. It's heavy. It's durable. It's beautiful. That's the reason that it's got value to it.

1:11:16And there's not much of it. You can weld it down. You can melt it. You can sculpt rocks. You can make a hat. You can make a boat. You can make a hat. You can make all sorts of things. But you see what I'm saying? No. You don't? I don't because in your analogy, you're using things that are easily made. Let's just find something that is the new gold. Diamonds. Let's make something that is the new gold. Yeah. And just because gold's pretty. And it's rare. Well, it's not just that, though. What do you use? It doesn't power cars. It's why silver and bronze are not as valuable. I'm out on the whole thing. All right. All right. Okay. He's out on the new hundred. I don't see any hundred. It's like saying, okay, well, let's just use water to power cars. Let's do it. You have to decide the technology. I don't see hundreds. I have tens and twenties of dollars in the bank. This was interesting. Sienna said in her recap, every once in a while, I have mornings where it seems impossible to wake up. I believe I hit the snooze button four times before I finally got up this morning. Four times, yeah. I do that. I can't snooze. That's 36 minutes. I'm terrified. It goes by nine minutes. Nine minutes. Oh, is everyone the same? Nine times four.

1:12:30I was up 25 minutes before my alarm. My alarm never goes off. You're lucky. You are lucky. So you were up at 1 o'clock in the morning? I was up at 1.05. Wow. Jeez. She says, but the fact that it goes off four times, that I have to hit the snooze button four times, makes me think, why was the snooze button invented in the first place? Seriously, I would love for that button to just go away so I no longer have the option. to keep sleeping in other words what you're saying sienna is why would they create something that is only going to bring trouble to your life exactly right why would they do it i mean i wish i mean i love it but i hate it you know what i mean like if it just my alarm just went off and i couldn't hit the snooze button i would get up when i'm supposed to get up i turn it off you do have you hit the snooze button four to six times oh my gosh and i set my alarm i told you i set When I get up at 3.30, it's really 3. Okay? So I know that in the deepest recesses of my brain, I'm like, it's not really 3.30. So I hit my snooze again. Go back to sleep. Hit it again. Hit it again. Usually four times, which is going to be really fun when Jamie moves here and it's 3 in the morning and I'm...

1:13:46Hitting snooze three times. Oh, yeah. Think about Todd. Poor baby. He loves it. It's so stupid, too. I can't do it in the morning because I'm terrified I'll hit the wrong button and go back to sleep. And then at 6.30, Mikey will go, hey, Pepper. Yeah. Where are you at? Start the show. But I napped yesterday, and I was like, I don't want to oversleep because then I'll be all weird and groggy. So I said it for like an hour. Is there anything else that we can think of that we're like, oh, man, why did they even come up with this? Donuts. Yum, yum. Donuts. Facebook. They kill you, right? No, Facebook's brilliant. Donuts, yeah. They're so bad for you. They're so good. But they're so bad. They're so good. Like, why do they come up with bad food? And, like, we know it's bad. Why do they keep making more of it? We know that there's too many fat people here. Yeah. Why do we keep eating it? I saw some commercial. It's cheap to make it. I don't want to say the name of the company, but, like, I saw this new sandwich out. It's like a double bacon grilled cheese with two patties. And I'm like. My mouth is watering, and I'm like, that is a heart attack in a box. Do you know what they have for kids now? They're not just regular straws. They're cookie straws. Oh, my God. You eat the straw. You eat it. How about you just give your kids Crisco? Just spoons and Crisco lard. Yeah, I said, who was the person that thought to fry a Twinkie? I know. I wouldn't. I could. You know, just on principle, I've never had one. You've never had a Twinkie? Never had a fried Twinkie. Oh.

1:15:15I thought all Twinkies were fried. No, like at the fair. You know, at the fair when they dip it. Because I think they are. I think she's right. They do fried Oreos. They do fried cheesecake that will make you slap your mother. You know what, though? I'd shoot somebody for this. So good. It is strawberry sauce, powdered sugar on it. Jamie and I, I had to drop to a knee. I had one bite. Wait till he goes to the fair. I love it. They deep fry anything you can imagine. I was at the Texas State Fair. It's massive. And they fry. They fried Coca-Cola. Pepper actually had a good one. She said Facebook. I agree. I love it. There are benefits to it. I've reconnected with people, but it's like... What about all your fans, Pep? You don't want to talk to your fans? I love it. I love it. But it's like now it's that necessary. It's like the snooze button. It's like that necessary evil. It's like now I need it. It's another form of communication. Consumes your time. It consumes my whole day. I only wanted to reconnect because I wanted to see what that person looks like now. And now I see it and I'm over it. No, see, I got friends all over this country. And like without Facebook, we wouldn't be able to talk because I'm not going to call all those dudes every day. See, but maybe you would have. I wouldn't have.

1:16:24But what do you say on Facebook? It's like, hey, what's up? I'm reconnect guy. I want to know what everybody's up to now. I'm reconnect guy. But I'm like, I could tell you about my first grade neighbor that I haven't seen in like 20 years or whatever. But I'm like, oh, yeah, she's married now. Oh, yeah. Kids are beautiful. That's good. It is. But it's also like very like voyeuristic and weird. It makes you feel voyeuristic and weird to know that a little bit. Really? I like it. I like being able to know. Me too. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. If you can think of something that you're like... Why was that invented? I kind of wish it wouldn't invent it. Twitter on the same thing as Facebook. I just don't get Twitter. I don't get it. I really tried Twitter. I tried. I just don't remember. Getting my best shot. Okay, I think, what can I tweet? What can I tweet? There's nothing. Everything sounds dumb. Yeah, and the other thing about it was that I noticed that there was a lot of negative. That was the other reason I didn't like it. A lot of negative on Twitter. I don't really get so much of that on Facebook. But Twitter was, I read a lot of people saying stuff that was just. Tweeting nasty stuff. Tweeting nasty stuff. You know what else about Twitter I don't get? Like there's all, it'll say, like I follow Chad Ochocinco.

1:17:43and it'll be like all these numbers and letters, and I think it's a picture maybe. There's a pound, and then there's an at sign, and I'm like, I don't know this lingo. And then they're like, retweet it. And I'm like, what the hell is retweet? That's my new bit. Retweet? Because I'm following the Dalai Lama now on Twitter. So I'll be like, I'll just retweet. I'm like, oh, that's profound. I'm going to retweet that. Really? That's like my bit. Do you think he comes up with that stuff on his own or do you think he has like a book? I think he has a little quotation. I already has Letterman's writers. And they just send him the lines. He says some amazing things. He tweets some amazing things. It's a book that he keeps in the back of his toilet. Yeah. And he just looks on there and he tweets. Hey, Maggie, not to Rabbit Hole, but did you see we're 50 fans away from 8,000? 8,000 people on Facebook. Come be our fan. The Mikey Show. 50 fans away from 8,000. Go to Facebook. That's so rad. Facebook.com and search The Mikey Show. I'm getting close to two. I thought of another thing, and it's not that I wish it wasn't invented. I just don't understand why it was invented, and it's decaf coffee. It's delicious. Oh, it's because it tastes good. It tastes good. I don't think it tastes good, but I have to have it because if I drink the regular coffee, I'm cracked out. You drink decaf every morning? Yeah, I drink half decaf, half regular.

1:18:54You wouldn't know if it was decaf. It doesn't taste different. It does taste different to me. It does. Tastes different. Do it. I'll tell you. I'll tell you the difference between decaf and regular coffee. Because I've tried to switch. I guarantee you. Put your money where your mouth is. All right. $10. $20. All right. Deal. I try to trick myself because I can't have caffeine now that I'm pregnant. And it's like. I'm drinking the decaf and it's not fun. Can I say a wah-wah-wah for Sienna? Sure. Just be careful with the decaf. Make sure you... No, because they use formaldehyde in some of the decaf processes, which is not good for pregnant women. Sienna just looked over at me like, really? Just take water. Is this happening? This is really happening right now? I'm trying to be a good mother. I'm just saying. Did she really just tell me that I'm eating formaldehyde? What about that? I just bought this and I'm in on it. It's this like... vanilla bean latte powder? Just do a little research. Oh yeah, it's got strychnine. I think that has strychnine in it. I'm just looking out for Baby Farrar. It's powered by crystal meth. I know, Baby Farrar needs all the help. I think they make it with crystal meth. Some of them use a water filtration process to decaffeinate it, but some of them go... Formaldehyde. Formaldehyde. You can get organic.

1:20:06You can get organic coffee, decaf. You can. Sure you can. Yeah, absolutely you can. It's like dirt. But I won't order it, like, if I go to a restaurant and I really want something warm. Like, I won't order it because I'm so afraid they're going to serve me the regular. Get cocoa. That's right. Cocoa. That has caffeine. I get it a lot. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. Cocoa? Cocoa? Hot chocolate. I get that. It has caffeine? I drink that sometimes. Wonderful. Chocolate has caffeine. It's wonderful. My baby's going to hate me. AJ texted in. He said, the Snuggie should have never been invented. What? Yeah, I agree. You look ridiculous. Grow up, P. Use a blanket. Yeah, use a blanket like a normal person. You're eating your whole body in a Snuggie. I will say, I saw the commercials and thought that they were a joke, as probably most people did. My sister has a Snuggie and I borrowed it one time. Amazing. How about a Flobie? What's that? It's a vacuum that cuts your hair. Nuh-uh. What? You guys have never seen the Flobie? Sure, it is. It's amazing. That's an attachment that goes on the end of a vacuum. It sucks your hair. It sucks your hair out? No, it sucks and cuts. So the whole bit of the Flobby is we'll cut your hair and pick up the hair at the same time. There's no mess. There's no mess. But it cuts with a vacuum cleaner. That can't be very accurate. That doesn't seem right. And you have a uniform haircut. It doesn't obviously style it. Right. Speaking of Facebook, by the way, Facebook is aiming to complete the takeover of the internet. I don't know what that means.

1:21:29But Sienna's going to explain to us how Facebook aims to complete their takeover of the internet. What is that? Do we all know who Mark Zuckerberg is now? Yeah, he's the kid that did it, right? The CEO. Created Facebook when he was 22 or something like that. Younger. He was in college. Look at this guy. Tony Stark. That's who he is. Tony Stark. He's a brilliant guy. The modern day Tony Stark. He's a billionaire. Well, he was speaking out about this yesterday, and he said that Facebook is spreading its wings to the broader web. It's a move that could change the way people experience the online world, though it could come with deeper privacy implications. What he says is there are new tools that will allow users to see personalized versions of other websites they visit. It'll be based on things they have shared on their Facebook profiles, such as their friends, bands, bands they like, or news stories that they've liked. I forget what this is called. I don't understand. I don't either. That's why I had to read it. The company I used to work for at Reach Local, it's called remarketing. So one thing that Facebook does really well is I'm a Yankee fan. I clicked on a link that said become a fan, right? You've done that to bands. You've done that to donuts or whatever. You've done it to wheat. So one thing, like you become a fan of wheat. I became a fan of the Yankees. The next day I logged in and on the right side it said,

1:22:44Love the New York Yankees? Buy a Derek Jeter jersey. And I'm like, how did they know? It's called remarketing. And it's the future of advertising, number one, and it's brilliant. Well, it's all being connected with that like feature now. It's going to cater to you, my friend. So you click on, I'm a fan of the Mikey show. But it's not fan anymore. You don't become a fan of the show. You like it. Yeah, they just changed that a couple of days ago. And so now you're not a fan. You now like it. And so when we say that we're very close to 8,000 fans, can we even say that anymore? Now they're likers. Now they're likers. Almost 8,000 people like us. Almost 8,000 people like us. Now, if what Woods is saying is correct, you click that you like it, and then the next day it says, you like kombucha? Buy some kombucha. I'm not saying the next day, but that information, Mike, is not going away. So they are going to tailor your advertising needs online are tailored to each individual person. And I'm sure people are falling asleep in their car. Well, because that's the future of advertising because of things we like. They will make Facebook able to help sell more advertising because of the insights they've gotten from the things that we like. People pay top dollar for that kind of information. And that'll make them rival with Google big time. Hey, there was a drug bust in Tijuana. Nearly 19.

1:24:07Tons of drugs were seized in TJ. On 420. Oh, my. It's going to be dry this weekend. I know, I know. They say it was one of the largest seizures in the region to date, and the Mexican military announced this huge 19 tons of marijuana from a warehouse in eastern TJ. 19 tons. That's insane. What's 19 times 2,000? I'm going to tell you how many pounds. 38,000. 38,000 pounds. Whoa. That's a lot of weed. That's a big party. That's a huge party. Don't they take it and burn it? Yeah, bro. They make spaghetti, remember? They make spaghetti sauce. I think they burn it. When they confiscate it, I think that they... Allegedly. They burn it. I think they smoke it. Yeah, I think they redistribute it. Yeah, well, eight suspects were arrested. I hope they don't do that. Mike. Mike. Really? Am I naive? They do do that? They do do it? Is that what they do? Am I being naive by thinking that they would be... Have you ever gone into Mexico and had to barter with the federales? No? I have not. But it does exist. No, I have. You? Oh, every time. Well, if they pull you over, they say that it's usually going to be a whole barter deal. Really? If you get pulled over by the federales in Mexico, it's probably going to result in a barter. It's usually about 40 bucks.

1:25:26And it's like I always tell Kim, it's like I had $40 worth of fun. Why don't they do that here? I would do that in a heartbeat. Because we have. Oh, my God. Hey, can I get out of this ticket? It's a little more strict here, buddy. 40 bucks. Make it right. See you later. I need to show you guys the picture. They made all of the eight suspects line up behind the 19 tons of pot. They did. And, like, you don't know how much it is until you see the picture. Let's see. Oh, gosh. Oh, my goodness. It's like a mountain. Yeah, I'll tell you what it looks like. It looks like the warehouse scenes from the TV show The Office. It's just stacks and stacks. Holy cow. That's a wall. They're standing behind a wall, basically, and it goes all the way up to their necks. That's a lot. A lot of pot. Woodsy picks Spoon. This has got nothing. I know it. This is insane. That's like the Great Wall of China. It's my favorite song of the year so far. How do you find that? Do you remember this kid from Taiwan? I'm a little boy. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I remember Whitney Houston. She's a big hit. That's a little Taiwanese boy. I still am questioning that. His dad is hiding behind a seat.

1:27:01Whatever, this guy is raking in the dough. He was on Ellis. His dad's like, really? Let me pick up a baseball bat. No, he's not. You want to hear him singing, saving all my love for you? Yes, please. Yes, I do too. We'll do it next. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. They've been called the best live band in the world. Now, San Diego, it's your chance to see them. Muse. September 22nd at B.A. Hawks Arena. The new album, The Resistance, available now. Muse. Special guest. Tickets on sale Saturday morning at 10 at LiveNation.com. All ticket bastard. All it's the arena box officer charged by phone. Muse. Buy tickets at LiveNation.com. It's Bob Baker Mazda's Claim Your Mazda sales event.

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1:30:16Good for you. But where do you take it to get recycled? Well, FM 94.9 can now help you answer that question and many more just like it. Check out the Echo Village page at FM 94.9 SD.com for all types of useful, eco-friendly information. Check out businesses having a positive impact on our community and our planet. Learn what you can do to protect our beaches and our oceans. Or find out when the next community beach cleanup is. Just go to FM 94.9 SD.com and click on the Echo Village icon. Supported by Think Blue San Diego. The Aztec calendar has his Cinco de Mayo party chiseled in. The front of his house looks like it was built by the Mayans, because it was. The contents of his tacos refuse to fall from the shell. He can open a piñata with a wink and a smile. If you were to see him walking a chihuahua, it would still look masculine. Several saints share his likeness, or vice versa, depending on who you ask. Dicing onions doesn't make him cry. It only makes him stronger. He has never filled up on chips. Most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends. Nicole Donnelly, Miramar Kitchen and Bath. For almost 20 years, Miramar Kitchen and Bath has specialized in delivering high-quality bath and kitchen remodeling projects at affordable prices.

1:31:54Our team is committed to completing each job without headaches or delays. And we know our customers appreciate the fact that we're a BBB accredited business. They understand that means we always strive to conduct our business with integrity and treat our customers with respect. So start with trust. Start with the BBB accredited business at BBB.org. Cheryl Bilbrey. President and CEO, Better Business Bureau. Smart consumers are using BBB ratings to avoid bad businesses and find the good guys. Your BBB rates all San Diego companies with an A-plus through F grade based on 16 objective criteria, including consumer complaints, proper licensing, and truthfulness in advertising. And all San Diego businesses are rated whether or not they've earned BBB accreditation. So check their grade at BBB.org. Start with trust. Start with a BBB accredited business. Hey, it's Mikey for AIS. I just want you to know AIS has been in business for more than 40 years, which should mean something to you. What that should tell you is usually when a company is in business for over 40 years, they're doing something right, and they are. Now, the average savings for a person with AIS is $650 a year with their auto insurance. That's a lot of money. Here's something else to consider. I saved $1,600 a year.

1:33:09By switching over to AIS. Now I've got my parents doing it. I have members of my family doing it. I wouldn't do that. Unless I actually really felt strongly about this company. And I do. Been in business with AIS for many years. And the reason is because of people just like you. That have called them. And they've actually experienced the savings. You can do that. 1-800-777-4AIS. That number again. 1-800-777-4AIS. Give AIS a call and tell them that Mikey sent you. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, there is no better time to visit your neighborhood Toyota dealership for your maintenance, state-of-the-art technology. Factory-trained technicians and competitive prices will have you smiling with confidence. The 8 westbound after College Avenue. We've got a car that's stuck. That left lane's blocked. Looks like it's hard to see. It's blending in with the rain. It's gray, so be careful as you approach there. Sunrise Highway westbound ate an accident. Pickup truck ran into a deer. It's facing sideways.

1:34:25on the right shoulder man is holding his chest looks like an ambulance is responding we've got a bunch of cars that have stopped to try and help this guy out also the eight westbound sunset cliffs boulevard there's an accident on the right shoulder two car collision here this report also brought to you by account temps matching highly skilled temporary financial professionals with their clients requirements for over 60 years you could call or visit them at account temps.com an equal opportunity employer i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Well, what's happening? This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Thursday morning brought to you by the good folks at Guayaquil, Yerba Make. And today we're looking at kind of a mess out there as this cold front lingers. Strong southwest winds blowing all night long, rain dumping as well. So really, again, a sloppy mess out there with dirty waters and blown-out conditions. I really advise you taking a pass on today. Things are supposed to start to clear up later today. Possibly you might see a little bit of improvement, but again, water quality is going to be suspect. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surpline.com, and for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of the South Coast Surf Shouts 5 locations. Stop by taking advantage of all those locations' sale on South Coast surfboards. If you don't have what you want in stock, we'll cost the bills you want for a deal, too.

1:35:49The surf report is brought to you by the good folks at Guayaquil Herbal Mate, certified organic, rainforest-prone, and good for you as well. And it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Back to the Mikey Show. Mikey. I get along better with women than I do with men. Sienna. I always wanted to punch someone in the face. Woods. Do a lot of things I shouldn't do, pal. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. This is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Yeah, Woods, you're picking the music today. Make you crazy, make you jealous, make you wish you had to say anything. That's Whiskey Town. Crazy about you? Guess who the singer for Whiskey Town was? Yeah. You were. No. Your friend, Adam. No. Ryan Adams. Ryan Adams? Yep. You're a Ryan Adams fan. Ryan Adams lover. That's right. Not literally. No. No. He's great. I love Ryan Adams. That's right. He's a big fan. He's great. He plays Germany all the time. Does he? He's great. Kids, let me tell you something.

1:37:31Kid. Lin Yu Chun. Well done. No, Taiwanese. Taiwanese kid. That kid can sing some Whitney Houston stuff. Oh, I can't wait? Him doing I Always Love You is one of the greatest things my ears have ever heard. Ever. Now, here he is on Lopez Tonight. What's that? It's George Lopez's show. You really didn't know what that was? No. He's got a late night show called Lopez. Oh, really, America? That's right. And this is him doing saving all my love for you. Yes. Let's take a listen. Enjoy. Oh. He sounds more like a man. Yeah, he does. Does he? Yeah, no, I don't think it does. This isn't. Anywhere is near. I wanted to get better. You know what? What if his voice is changing now? So I'm saving all my love for you. Sounds like Sienna. I was training him. This is how you lower your voice. Happen to all the greats. Jonathan Lipnicki. Macaulay Culkin. Happens to all the greats. They grow up, you know.

1:39:03No other man's going to do it. It is. It kind of is. But the other one was way crazier. Do you suppose it's more beautiful because we know it's a 13-year-old Taiwanese boy? Do you suppose we, in our minds, we go, that's really great because we know it's... A little Taiwanese boy with a Nicholas Bradford from 8 is Enough haircut. But how did we all feel the first time we heard Whitney Houston? We were like, whoa. Yeah, unicorn. That's a song that no one can sing but Whitney, and he sang it. That's why this one we're not as sold. No. Sounds like a transvestite. It doesn't sound like Whitney Houston, and the other one did. It's sad because I'm getting scared that his voice is changing. Here's the other one.

1:40:20I want the whole thing. It was good. Oh, amazing. Work it out. Lady with the migraine. Here we go, here we go. All right. Let me paint a picture for you, pal. Always. Not bad. We'll always rub you. We'll always rub you. Hey, you want to hear him? How about this? You want to hear him sing Total Eclipse of the Heart with William Shatner? Yes. I want him to sing everything. Of course you do. Let's listen. Okay. Is that him?

1:41:51Turn around. This is very awkward. Why? God, my skin is crawling. Imagine the two of them looking at each other singing this. Turn around. Oh, weird. That's so creepy. He just has one bit. He's derailed. He was a guest on Lopez Tonight. That's his bit. It's like, I'm going to speak like this for anything. That's what they do with him. I think it's funny he's telling the little boy to turn around. Hey, nice. Okay, okay. I want to say something before you guys say something. He probably, I don't know if there's an interview of him, but he probably doesn't speak a lot of English. So that Whitney Houston one, he probably got that all down and tried to get rid of any accent or anything. And now he's learning all these new songs. Yeah. And it's a little rough, you know? Yes.

1:43:00You hear a little, it's fine. I mean, it's still good. It's probably why that one was so, he probably practiced I Will Always Love You 3,000 times. What about this one? There's more? Oh, wow. Hi, Mary. How are you? Not so good. Burning nose from snorting coffee. Did you blow coffee out of your nose because you were laughing? Okay, the singing along, I think it's just Mikey singing, the I Real Always Rub You was too much for me. Work it out.

1:44:43Yes. Oh, my gosh. I love me some I will always. Love you. Love you. Me too. It made me uncomfortable watching Woods look you in the eyes as you were singing that. No, the weirdest. I was thinking about the whole time. Mike and Woods are like staring at each other. You're making eye contact. Why are you guys doing that? We stare at each other doing this. I'm like, should I leave the room? No, no. He's my muse. I'm staying engaged. You were making eye contact and you were mouthing the words as Mikey did them. Oh, he gets it. He says, you got this. I'm his teleprompter. You got this. If you were just staying engaged, why were we desperately looking into each other's eyes? Are you holding hands? Yeah. Why were you crying? How come our toes were interlaced? Ew. Ew. That is so gross. Do your feet reach over here?

1:45:49Of course not, Woods. Of course he wouldn't fit over there. My suction cup stuck to the bottom of his feet because he broadcast barefoot. Woods has suction cups on the bottom of his shoes. It's really weird. Let's see. M1 Joe. How are you? Not good. You're going to make me crash. You are cracking me up, man. That is the funniest thing. I thought it was that lady that got that amnesia stuff or whatever. Yeah. Confusion. You guys are great, man. Thank you. Thank you very much. You're causing mass confusion. Confusion. Confusion. Confusion. Confusion. I got Asian friends that love it. Yeah. You know why? Because it's delightful, that's why. Yeah, we love it. Delightful. It's wonderful. How I stare at you when I sing it. Is that what the creepy part is? 5701-949-949mikey at gmail.com. I love that kid. He's got a bright future in Whitney Houston covers.

1:47:17Well, you know, it's not going to take long for a big name producer to get a hold of him and say, hey, listen, he sings like Whitney Houston. All we have to do is put some great music behind him. We'll have a hit here. He's like Whitney Houston without the crack problem. Yeah. That's right. I want to meet him. Whitney Houston should hire him to do a new album in her name. Yeah. Right. You do this for me. Yeah. I'm back. That's right. Kind of. Would you like to do the Incorporator? Yes. I would, too. Would I? Why don't you call us right now? 570-1949. It's been a while. I've been waiting to dance to the song for a couple. I know. I've got to get in the zone. I've got to get in the zone. You guys shh. Incorporator is... Oh, here he comes. Woodsy. Watch out, boys. He'll chew you up. Woodsy as the Incorporator. What we do is we call someplace out in the middle of nowhere. Watch out, boys. What kind of place are we calling, Jay? Donut shop. Oh, perfect. Calling it donut shop. Is it in La Jolla? Can't be in La Jolla. No, it's not in La Jolla. Definitely not in La Jolla. Well, there is no donut shops. You know that. You know that. Donut shop we're calling is somewhere back east. Yes, sir. Get it. All right. Woodsy leaves the room. And you call in and you give us common words or common phrases.

1:48:53We got some text into us, too, that we can use. Cool. That I like. And so let me tell you what those are. Woodsy has not seen them. When we call the person, they can only hear Woodsy. They can't hear me giving him the words. And he's got to incorporate them into his spiel. He'll talk to them and he'll just be asking them questions about donuts. About donut shop. How many questions can you ask? I know it. That's the thing I think that's the most fascinating about him doing the Incorporated. How long can you continue to go on? We're old-fashioned. We're not old-fashioned. There's not a lot of donut talk. I know. So you call us right now and you give us common words and phrases. Common words and phrases. I thought it was an earthquake. It was just jumping in the hall. My laptop is shaking. I'm like, what's happening? Earthquake. He hasn't done the Incorporator for a while. I know. When he hasn't done it for a while, he gets extra amped up. He's nervous. He gets extra amped up, and so that's what he's doing right now. He's getting himself all excited. I'm going to sit and see your lips. Let's see. M1 Navy pilot texted in, Saltine Cracker. Yes. M1 Fire Girl texted in, Band-Aid.

1:50:25M1 Ann texted in unitard. M1 Danny boy texted in stud muffin. I love that. So let me take a couple from the phone lines and then we will get started. M1 Nick. Parakeet. Love parakeet. Very common word. Very common. Thank you. And I love for whatever reason, I love when he's got to incorporate. Animals? Mm-hmm. No, I just thought of one, so if you need any, just think of it. Give me one. Wallaby. I got it. And finally, Sergio. Sergio, go ahead. Turbocharge. Triple charge. Yeah. Triple or turbo? Turbo or triple. Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say turbocharge or triple charge? Turbo, like force inducted. Turbocharge.

1:51:33Yes, sir. Turbo charge. We got it. Thank you. I'm like, man, I don't want to be triple charged. All right. Come on in, Woodsy. Come on in. That was great. How many you got there, Mike? I got one. I'm adding a wrinkle today. What? You'll see. Two. Incorporated. Three, four, five, six, seven. I have seven. That's fine, and I'm adding a wrinkle. What is your wrinkle? You'll see. Oh, okay. We don't know yet. Do you feel alive? Oh, jeez. Woodsy says, do you feel alive to me, when he changes things spontaneously. Brace yourselves. Go ahead. Yes, good morning. How are you? Good. How are you doing? I'm great. I was looking for some help. I'm having a party tonight, and I'd like to get a ton of donuts for everybody. Don't wake up.

1:53:08I really love, like, fresh-baked donuts because I'm from Germany and Austria, and all the donuts that taste like saltine crackers. Okay. Okay, so, like, what types of donuts do you have? Irregular glaze. Sprinkles? Yeah, we can do sprinkles, sure. You don't have, like, I don't like, like, the cake donuts. They taste like Band-Aids to me. Okay, well, we don't have any kind of cake donuts. We could, uh... We've got your regular fried donuts. We've got your double fried donuts. We can also do any kind of Boston cream. Oh, Boston cream is great. I'm having a party tonight. I'm making everyone wear unitards. We're going to dance and eat donuts all night. Stud muffin. Okay, do you have the stud muffin flavor? I'm just kidding. Those are the guys that are coming to my party. Okay, well, what we can do is we can box them up by the dozen.

1:54:08We can get you a discount if you order more than four dozen at a time. How many realists do I have? What type of discount? I need to save enough. I'm trying to raise enough money to buy a new parakeet. Sure. If you order up to four dozen, we get you 10% off. If you want to order up to eight dozen, we can get you 20% off. It's really up to you. Do you do any other pastries like cakes or anything? My friend is coming in from Australia, and I want to get a cake or a donut shaped like a wallaby. Maybe a little too. Something like that, but what we could do is we got some ice cream cakes. Okay. They're already made, so they're in the shape that they're in, but we could definitely get those. We've got quite a few of them on right now, and depending on what time you want them, we could make a few more between now and tonight. I'm going to need you to turbocharge when you make the donuts. I need it very, very quickly, because when I know what I want, I get it very quickly. I understand, sure. Okay. So, yeah, what do you want? One cake?

1:55:08Probably, you know, I think I should come in and take a look around. Princess. Well, that's fine, too. Absolutely. Okay, Princess. I'll see you later. All right. We'll see you when you get it. Okay, great. You just called the guy Princess Princess. You made me so nervous when you said I'm adding a wrinkle, and I love the wrinkle. I love the wrinkle. I guarantee that guy got off the phone and was like, I just get the weirdest. That guy was like a saint. I needed a new challenge. Dude, I needed a new challenge. Please do something weird like that every time. I love it. I love it. And I love it. Kid will mix it up for you real good. Wow. Wow. Wow. Maybe Dave Matthews calls him. Maybe a lot of people make calls. Oh, my gosh. Dude, that was great. That was great. And that was great. Kid's picking the music today. Woodsy picked a little third-eyed blind. A little guilty pleasure for the kid. Real good. Bonfire's another one.

1:56:13Oh, dude, that was fun. Oh, my gosh. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Next Tuesday night, the 27th, Rogue Wave will play at the Belly Up. Transfer are there April 29th, and also April 29th, Abbott Brothers play House of Blues. The Holt Steady's doing an FM 94.9 about the music show at the Belly Up May 4th, and the Whigs just announced a show June 17th. Tickets are on sale now, and they'll play the Belly Up. So there you have it. Get out there and say something. The FM 94.9 Bud Light concert calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light concert calendar.

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2:03:31This report, it is brought to you by San Diego County Regional Airport Authority. San Diego, your report's about to take off. The green build. Ten new gates, a dual-level roadway. Lots more dining and shopping at Terminal 2. You can sign up for construction alerts at sand.org. San Felipe Valley Road at mile marker 4, there's an accident there. Pickup truck down the embankment on the right shoulder on its wheels. They've got a tow truck on the way. Also, the 67 at Scripps Poway Parkway, an overturned vehicle on its side. Looks like somebody's still trapped inside there. And in Hamul on the 80s bound before the 79, we have a car that spun out pickup truck stuck in that center divider. Wipers that streak and smear aren't just annoying, they're dangerous. Don't take chances in the rain with wipers that don't work. Get to AutoZone. Do something about it. Replace those worn-out wiper blades today at AutoZone. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Woods is picking the music today. This is not a surf. Enjoy the silence. It's the same Depeche Mode song that you're familiar with called Enjoy the Silence. It's a cover. It's a really cool cover. That's good. Did you know that you might not have soft toilet paper much longer? Oh, boy. You know why? I have a problem with that. Of course you do. Everyone does. Unless you're like my dad. My dad, I think it's my dad. He'd care less. That's ridiculous. My dad could care less.

2:05:27He'll get whatever's cheapest. A lot of people, whatever's cheapest. That's one thing I don't skimp on. I have lotion in mine. Weird. Yeah. I get whatever's cheapest. Weird. Yeah. I bet your toilet paper is like rice paper. Yeah. Your toilet paper is the same. It's like the same stuff that they wrap. Spring rolls. Spring rolls in. Yeah. Exactly. It looks like that. Bark. It's called bark. I have no loyalty. Whatever you find out in the, you know, like litter. Like Lauren will use litter. Yeah. So it's not litter anymore. Right. It's toilet paper. Let me tell you, I don't know what our brand is, but it is soft. Mine is delightful. Charmin? Do you know that I used to, when I traveled a lot, I used to carry a roll in my suitcase. Brought it with you. Absolutely. Stay in a hotel. Stay in a Hampton Inn sometime. That's a brilliant idea. It's bulky, though. It's fine. You put it in the suitcase. You put a couple rolls in there. It's worth every bit of space it takes up. Sienna, if we stayed at a hotel together and I said, darling, as you're going to the bathroom, would you like to take a fresh Charmin roll with you? I'd be like, that's why I married you. Yeah, right? Exactly. I mean, listen, that's nice. I wouldn't want, I don't like that scratchy stuff. I always buy the toilet paper that has a picture of a dog on it. It's like a puppy. What is that?

2:06:45I think it's... Cottonelle, maybe. Cottonelle, maybe it's blue and it's a little, like a lab puppy. It's Cottonelle, I think. Brian has an angel. Not delicious, that's not the right word. A baby. She had a white charmin and Cottonelle. be at risk. Well, the high quality toilet paper companies are now on a quest to find new paper supplies because they're saying the problem is consumers who could once fill up large bins with their recycled newspapers, magazines, and print paper. But you can't do that anymore because apparently electronic communication is surging, which causes these sources of recycled paper to become... Scarce. How crazy is that? I don't get it. What? Dude, okay. So it used to be that newspapers were widely circulated. Yeah. The newspaper business is going under because there's just not people that are going to the internet. Yeah. So because of that, yeah, there's a lot less paper sources to get. I'll pay $50 for like a 12-pack. It's worth it to me. I would not. I don't skimp on it. Stupidest thing ever. Is it? Dude.

2:07:46I don't skimp on it. That's a really great, like, topic is, okay, for those of us that do care what we use, how much would you be willing? I'm a blood bunny. I think you're chafe. See, I would get the chafe. That's awesome. At all. I would get the chafe paper, but you have to have baby wipes. No. My brother does that. I have. Baby wipes are like a... Mexico, when you go down there and you have to dig your own toilet. You just use baby wipes. They're so nice. My brother. Dig your own toilet. Don't dig your own toilet. Four words I will never say. I'll go the opposite way now. My buddy put a bidet in for his wife when she gave birth. Because of obvious reasons, I guess. I used it. Fantastic. Have you ever used a bidet? I would. The greatest thing that's ever happened. Yeah, why? I'll tell you why. Clean house, bro. No, no, no. Uh-uh. Warm water. Warm water. Clean house. Don't want it. It's cleaner than paper. Problem is, how do I phrase this? You can't imagine all of us sitting on a bidet. Here's the thing. My brother, when he comes to visit, he brings little baby wipes. Brings his own bidet. He brings his own bidet. He brings little baby wipes, and he uses his baby wipes. And my issue with that, and we're having an adult conversation here.

2:09:09So, well, I'm trying to. I know what you're going to say. The problem is, is that I think the easiest way for me to say this is, is I just believe that that's a dry area only. Oh, no. The moisture is heavenly. Yeah, it is. It's nice. It's clean. Let's try it. I keep some on the back of the toilet. You're so clean. Gross. You're clean and fresh. That's what he says. And then you finish. That's what he says. That's what he said. You finish with the toilet paper to get the extra moisture off. Yeah. It's paper, wipe. Paper. Exactly. I like a little moisture around there. If we were allowed to say absolutely anything, I would really talk to you about this topic. Will we talk about it off the air? Yeah, we will. I can't wait for the next break. Yeah, we'll talk about it off the air. You know what we should do is we should tape record it so that we can play it on the internet because we can't play it. We can't say it on the air. I'll be the one to edit that. Let's try. What are you frustrated about? Wastefulness. That and... You know, potty talk. I'm just like, eh. She gets grossed out by the potty talk. I'm like a four-year-old little boy. I kind of do, too, get grossed out by the potty talk. But this particular topic, I think, can be addressed in a very adult way. Well, a lot of people believe in the dry, wet, dry approach. Nothing wrong with that. And they say, once you go there, you never go back. That is exactly what my brother says. He said, if you tried this, you would love it.

2:10:36You would, Mike. Mike, you would love it. It's like a conditioner. A conditioner. You would love it, bro. For your bum. M1 May is on the line. May, are you there? I'm here. You've used a bidet. Is that the deal? I tried a bidet once when I was about 11 or 12 at a friend's house. And then again when I was like 30 and in a nice hotel. I thought, okay, surely I can do it this time. Both times. Someone had jacked up the water heater to at least 100. Oh, ow. Both times I started with warm water and burned myself up. Oh, wow. You should always test it with your hand first. Okay. I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way. She's like, I get it. Hindsight's 20-20. It's like testing hot milk on your wrist. Yeah. So just use your wrist over the bidet. Oh, to me, it's the filthiest idea in the world. No way. No way. It's so clean. It's the opposite. I have a bit. I can't understand how that thing sprays and doesn't. It might. It might. It doesn't. When I went around Southeast Asia, I was like, you were lucky if you found toilet paper in a place. What do you use, your hand? You use water. They have bidets in every toilet? It's not exactly as fancy as a bidet. It's a hose.

2:12:02No, a lot of places don't have toilet paper. Lauren, is it basically a hose? Come on now. Or. For real? Or. A bucket. A bucket. Come on. Yeah. Recycled water? No, it's not recycled. It's fresh water. Oh, God. But you splash it on there. Do you? No. My wife wants to travel and I say to her, babe. No. Just bring your stuff with you then. Tell her to take Jamie. Jamie can go. You and I will stay at home on the internet. And her friend Jamie who will absolutely dig her on the toilet. Tell her to take my Jamie. Tell her to take my Jamie. They can go travel. Me and you will stay home on the internet. She wants to swim in caves where the water's 42 degrees. Like that's what Jamie, her best friend Jamie does. She goes to like Belize. And goes into caves and goes spelunking and gets into water that's 45 degrees. And I'm like, really? What part of that is fun? Nope. She's like, I see so many things that not very many people get to see. I'm like, me too. You know where I see it? On the National Geographic channel. Yeah, or on my Yahoo Internet Explorer. Oh, please. My screensaver. Yeah, my screensaver. I have a theory. What's your theory? I'm going to upset a lot of people like Pepper. Weird. The deal that I think it is.

2:13:17I don't think people really like it. Yes, they do. I think they just want to say they did it. Nope. Don't applaud yourself. I'm applauding with you because I agree wholeheartedly. I went snorkeling. With dolphins? No, at the Great Barrier Reef. And I saw that. And I will, like, always remember, I got to see, you know, a natural wonder. It's crazy. It's not the same as seeing... Going snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef is different than digging your own toilet and... Oh, well, nobody's in Costa Rica. But she's probably seeing there's coral reef in Belize there that she's probably seeing, you know? It's not that you're like, yes, I'm so stoked to go dig my toilet. But if that's part of what they do in that culture and that's what you need to do to get it done, then whatever. That's just the side effect of going to sea. She's like, I picked my own pineapple. Berries. I picked my own pineapple.

2:14:11And it was in the middle of this jungle. And she's like, that's now, you know, granted, that was the trip that I got dysentery because I drank water. Yeah, I caught malaria. Caught malaria. But it was totally worth it. Oh, no. I know. Because I got to see a giraffe. Yeah, I was in a rainforest with a monkey. Yeah. I got to ride a camel in the sunset on the Sahara Desert. Ride a camel. But I also got salmonella poisoning. It was a nightmare. Of course you did. Mom! I want a camel! Please! No, I don't. They make weird noises and they're uncomfortable to sit on. I bet. I don't want to go there. I just want you to bring one to La Jolla. Just bring one here. Where do you sit? In between the humps? In between the humps. Yeah, and they're like holding onto this hump. A hairy hump. How am I supposed to handle this? There's a phone call here. It says, M1 Kyle. And the subject says, baby wipes are heaven. They are! What am I supposed to do? That's the subject. Baby wipes are heaven. He thinks they're heaven. You're supposed to try them. Fine. Kyle? Kyle, are you there?

2:15:22Infused, yeah. Aloe-infused antibacterial baby wipes. Keeps everything clean and soft. You just sold my, you know why? Antibacterial. Yep. He's in now. Can I ask you something? Are those things meant to be flushed? A lot of things aren't. They are. Yep. You can flush them. Just make sure it says flushable. Oh, boy. Listen. Hold on. Yeah. Hold on. In some systems, but some of the older plumbing, they can't handle that stuff. Do you know how many red snapper are going to choke on that? Because it goes into our system. Do you know that the North American salamander is suffering? I'm not even talking about the environmental side of it. I'm talking about plumbing. Old plumbing can't handle that thick stuff. You should do a fundraiser for old plumbing and make that like a... Hey, Mike, I thought of a line for you. What? You had me at aloe. Don't anybody Photoshop that onto a t-shirt that I'm wearing. You had me at aloe. Hello. You had me at aloe. Are you going to try it, Mike? Yeah, I'll try it. Dry toilet paper? It's not. It's wet. It sounds greasy and gross. Bro, you love to be clean. I do, but I don't want that clean. I don't want that clean. Hey.

2:16:34I don't want that. You use the dry teepee at the end. Clean house. You guys, don't pressure him. Yes, we are. Save a tree. Clean house, pal. It's Earth Day. Clean house, pal. Save a tree. Is it Earth Day? Yes, it is Earth Day. Happy Earth Day. Oh, my gosh, it is. Good. It's Earth Day. Don't encourage him to cut down trees so he can have an aloe butt. You're not wearing that. You're not wearing, like, an Earth Day t-shirt or anything? She's wearing tie-dye. I wore one to bed. You wore tie-dye. Did you really? Yes. She's such a hippie. She's wearing tie-dye right now. Right now. I'm hugging a tree as we speak. I'm going to go club with baby seal. Splinters. Let's see. M1 Didi, happy Earth Day. Happy Earth Day. It's my daughter's birthday today. She's our recyclable baby. Awesome. Happy birthday. One person clapping in the entire city of San Diego. Her name is Lauren O'Brien. Go ahead, Didi. We use, our entire family uses the flushable wipes, because like we said before, not all of them are flushable. And it's the best thing, because depending on where you're at, you get that cheap toilet paper that gets all... Yeah, I understand. I understand. I understand. Yeah, you know, so let's play one or two wipes with... What? What? Like, if I don't say it, that's your cue to not start saying it. I didn't think you got it. This guy. Wow. I didn't think you got it. I didn't think you got it, pal.

2:17:52You haven't been in radio as long as I have been. Yeah, Woods is like, he must not know. I'll help him. S-word. I'm like, Woods, no! You can't know, Woods! S-word. Didi, thank you for the call. Thanks. I can't wait until we're off the air so that I can have a normal adult conversation with you. And I don't mean adult dirty. I just mean adult... In the United States of America, the Federal Communications Commission, otherwise known as the FCC, won't let me say certain things that you think are just... It's ridiculous what I'm not allowed to say. I know. There's so many things I've had to filter in this conversation. And it's just normal talk. It's not talk that I wouldn't have in front of my kids. Think about everything you've dumped me for. It's all with one subject. Yeah. It all revolves around that subject. Not that subject. The other one. Number one. Everything I get dumped for is about number one. It's all about that stuff. Well.

2:18:49And the way that you're using it is, I would not say. Don't even dance around that subject. Baby wipes all the way, Mike. I just want you to try it. Save a tree, Mike. Let's see. We have a few minutes. Should we do, you guys want to do a game? Okay. Yeah. Would you guys be down with doing a game? Yeah. Let's do it. Call us right now. 570-1949 if you want to play Sienna Sings with us. What do we got, Jay? We got sunglasses from Anarchy and Angel. Nice. Sunglasses from Anarchy and Angel up for grabs right now. You call us right now. Wait a minute. I'm so dumb. We don't do it that way anymore. Well, you know what we'll do then? We'll do it. First couple of callers, we'll just give away. Yeah, we'll just do it. And for the ninth caller. That's right. 94th caller. Call us right now, and the first couple of callers are going to win sunglasses from Anarchy and Angel. The 94th caller. It's a whole bit. That's right. He's like, thanks. It's funny. It's actually a good idea. 94th caller. 94th caller. Now, each contest will take an hour and a half.

2:20:27Let's see. Mikey Show, what's your name? Brian, you just won yourself a pair of anarchy sunglasses. Nice. Yes. They're awesome. Mikey Show, who's this? This is P1 Brownie. Hi, Brownie. You just won a pair of angel sunglasses. Awesome. Your little angel. Hang on the line. Thank you. Would you creep? You're a git. Nobody said anything. Woods is now doing preemptive strikes. Preemptive strikes against me. Proactive strikes against himself. Hi, how are you? You sound nice. Woods, you creep pig. He's tackling himself. Woods, you're a hack, man. You're a hack, creep punk. Tiger Woods, you suck. Disgusting pig. Perverted Woods. All right, you ready? Yes, very much. Sienna's going to sing Devil Inside. By in excess. Is there any chance that she knows it? It's way before her time. I'm not even sure. I know it. We give her the words, and she sees the words on the screen, and we figure out whether or not she knows it or not. I say there is no way in the world. I have karaoke. Karaoke. I'm going to go with no. I'm going to go with no. Nope. Thanks, guys. Oh, wow. Not even close.

2:22:02That's my favorite thing I've ever heard in my life. You guys, it's hard because, you know, you have to try to follow the words highlighting and then I get to it before it comes and it's stop it. Amazing. I don't know if she was right or wrong because I don't think I know that song. She's wrong. She's way wrong. You've never heard devil inside, devil inside. How does it even go? Every single one of us, the devil inside. Maybe. Journey Separate Ways. I say this song is too big of a hit. Yes, she will know it. I'm going to agree with you. Me too. We all say Sienna knows Journey Separate Ways. Here we stand. Worlds apart. Hearts broken in two. Two. Well, that was a little weird. I know this one, you guys. Sleepless nights. Losing ground. I can't get that high. Let it go. See if she gets this part. Okay. She got it. She got it. Wow. She got it. You guys had it so high.

2:23:27Apparently they had the guitar player from Megadeth playing on that track. Can you sing that song? It sounded like Megadeth. It did. When it started. Mikey Kent, you sang Journey at our holiday party. That's a hard song to sing. You know what? It was hard to do it because I actually sing higher than the karaoke music. It was amazing. They didn't do it in the normal key. Yeah, way to show off, Mike. Because they were like, well, they probably figured most guys had rocks big enough that they couldn't do that. You can sing higher than Sienna. I know. Oh, for sure. I have a deep voice. Led Zeppelin, Black Dog. This is a wild card. The reason it is is because she knows some classic rock. Todd likes a lot of classic rock. And her brother likes. Her brother liked Ozzy. We know she knew Ozzy. It's too big of a song for her to not know. I agree. I say she knows Black Dog Zeppelin. I agree. Oh, it's Zeppelin? Yeah. I didn't even say that. Welcome to the show. Mikey's show. I thought you said Black Sabbath. You said Black Dog. Uh, no. I said no. Sorry. Checked out for a second. It's okay. So we got two yeses and a no. Yes. Here we go. Hey, hey, mama. Said the way you move. Oh, God. Gonna make you sweat. Gonna make you groove. Okay, okay. Is this Black Eyed Peas? Oh, no. It's not. Oh, yeah.

2:24:56The black eyed peas. Oh, I don't know. No. Definitely no. Definitely no. You got it, O'Brien. It started. Good job. It started and it said, hey, mama. So I was like, hey, mama, you know that black eyed piece? Hey, mama, I don't know the words to even that. That's fantastic. Amazing. I love it. I'm glad I get entertained. You know, with the internet blowing up the way that it is, there's really a networking site for anybody. They have one for dogs now. Yeah. Dogster. It's like Facebook. Is that right? Dogbook. Dogbook. We tried it. It's too much of a beating. Yeah. They got it for everything. We got into it for about 30 seconds. We're like, oh, yeah, we don't want to be friends with your dog. Now they even have a website that's completely devoted to hooking up creeps together. Hi, I'm Bunny McFadden. You're probably wondering why I'm wearing a bikini, right? The reason is because people come in all shapes and sizes, and that's why I developed CreepHarmony.com, the only website devoted to creeps.

2:26:18Four creeps. Here's one of our success stories from the movie Silence of the Lambs, James Gumm. I was like, you know, trying to find people. And then I was trying to find love. And I found my beautiful Francesca here. And she's a mannequin. And I love her so much. Isn't that right, darling? What? She's so funny. She's so funny. And that is like the weirdest thing. My friends, I guess, signed me up for this stupid, creepy site. And I'm like, wait, I'm the only girl on here. And all these dudes are like pictures with mannequins and dolls and butterflies and weird stuff. And I'm like, why am I signed up for this thing? First, I started getting like pictures. And then it was these really weird, creepy. videos, I'm like, ew, gross. It's not funny, creeps. Creepharmony.com. Two creeps, four creeps. Wow. Wow. Something else. I like how he was talking to his mannequin and his mannequin obviously can't talk because it's a mannequin. Can't talk because...

2:27:44She's a mannequin, but that doesn't mean that she can't know. She doesn't know love. That's true. She talks when you say she talks, right? I don't treat her like that. I let her talk. What, honey? Oh, she is so funny. Wait, darling. Tell that one again. But you're the fish. Did you see how she made the face when she did that? Yeah, it's the same face she always has. She's a doll. Hey, Francesca, tell the one about the rabbit. Oh, James. Oh, James. That kills me. What was the deal with that, by the way, in the movie Sounds of Lamb? Why James? James? Was it James? No, it's James. Was it supposed to be that, like, the information came through and the S was missing? Or his name was really James? No, I think they sat in the room and they go...

2:28:54What's the creepiest name that we could possibly come up with? How about Jame Gum? I actually looked it up. His mom was an alcoholic. That's what they say. His mom was an alcoholic. And so she spelt his name wrong. Really? Was it supposed to be Jamie or James? James. Jameson. Jamie Gum or a Jame Gum? That's my Jodie Foster. Really? Jamie Gum or a Jame Gum? Her accent is horrible. It's the worst. It's the worst Southern accent I've ever heard. It's worse than Hoyles. It was bad. My accent ain't bad, man. I was just breaking your chain, pal. Really? Were you breaking my chain? Or breaking your bulls? You were breaking my bulls? Yeah, breaking your bulls. You're going to get us an FCC fan. Probably. You said something the other day about Wheat Thicks. It wasn't Wheat Thicks. It was another one. It was Thick Lizzy. Your mama's so fat, her favorite band is Thick Lizzy. It's supposed to be Thin Lizzy? Yeah. I was like, why? This, believe it or not. Let me let you listen to a second of it. Woodsy's picking the music today. Take a listen to this and tell me who it is. Jeff Daniels? It is not Jeff Daniels. Jeff Bridges. That's what I meant. That is correct. Yeah. Of course. Of course. Of course. You know who else is in there? Is this from the movie? Yeah. When you hear them harmonize, it's pretty good.

2:30:35I think I might watch that tonight. Please do. Is it a girl movie, too? No. Oh. They do in the movie. That's not Colin Farrell. No, that's Jeff Bridges. That's him. That's Colin Farrell. Oh, yeah. You can be any time you want. Wow. That's pretty good, dude. He's Irish. That's good. Wow. That's really good. That's those two. Lauren's like, is that Candace Bergen singing with him? I meant Jeff Bridges. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. They've been called the best live band in the world. Now, San Diego, it's your chance to see them. Muse. September 22nd at V.A. Haas Arena. Including music from the new album The Resistance. Available now. Muse.

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2:38:10and a tow truck on the scene. This report, it is also brought to you by Advanced Auto Parts. Shop over 90,000 auto parts at one easy location. AdvancedAutoparts.com. Go online. You can learn more about special offers, sweepstakes, and deals. See the site for details. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Woods. I, to my credit, Steve Woods, have a hole in one. Lauren. I just don't like the way beef tastes at all. Zienna. I made reservations for us last night. And Jay. I'm so tired. On FM 94.9. He's drinking the music. It's me. Williams. And the song is, uh... No, it isn't. What is it? Is it? Is this All My Rowdy Friends? Yeah. Story of my life, pal. I didn't know that this is the way it sounded. It sounds a lot like family tradition. It does? Yeah. This song is the story of my life, pal. All my rowdy friends have settled down. It's very true. It's so true. Except for Bark Mountain. In fact, can we talk about a little topic right now from Woodsy's... You're going to get me bent. I'm going to get you riled up. You're going to get me so bent right now. I'm going to say this before I start this. I really want male and female participation. Absolutely. And...

2:40:01I will even say this. I talked to Woodsy about it and... Oh, geez. I don't know if we're... Let's just do it. Let's do it. Read it. Spit it out. Woodsy says that he got an email about his buddy Gabe's bachelor party. It's in Vegas in September. His other buddy called and said that he... And he did it very nonchalantly, right? Very nonchalantly. In a text. Oh, okay. That his wife was going to be coming along. To the bachelor party? That's correct. In Vegas? In Vegas. No way. No way. Wood says, I was speechless. Speechless. How did he say it? I'll tell you. This is unacceptable. 100% unacceptable. Now, I have caveats. And as long as the caveats are reached, I'm actually okay with it. I thought about your caveats.

2:41:08I agreed with you at the time. I disagree vehemently now, and I'll tell you what. With all my caveats? Yes. Let's hear the caveats. First, before you do the caveats, Gabe lives on the East Coast. John lives in the Midwest. I live on the West Coast. We've known each other since seventh grade. We don't get to hang out that often. John's getting married in June. Gabe is getting married in November. Bachelor party's in September. Hopefully you're following along. I would be okay if Gabe, the bachelor, said, hey, I'm bringing Brittany with me. Well, it's his wedding. It's his wedding. They can do a dual bachelor party. I'm cool with that. Yeah. But for a guest of the bachelor party. Is he a groomsman? He's a groomsman. Oh, yeah. A groomsman to say, my wife wants to come. Great. My wife can want a lot of things, but there's certain things she ain't going to get. And that's one of them. Did he ask, can I bring her? No. Or he said, she's coming. He goes, she wants to come. And I called him immediately. I go, and he was laughing. And he goes, here's how he sold it to me. Dude, you guys love Christy. She's cool. That's how he sold it to me. She can come out with this like the first night. You love Christy. She's cool. And I said, it could be Christy Turlington. And I'd tell her to stay at home. Right. Can I give my caveats? Give us your caveats. First of all, I think of it from the perspective of a 39-year-old man because I'm 39. Right. If I was a 27-year-old man and I was married, it might be different. But here's my 39-year-old guy talking.

2:42:38Certain things have to be agreed upon with this to be okay with me. Like? Okay. Numero uno. Anywhere there is men from this bachelor party, she cannot be. Meaning that if there is, you know, anytime you guys are together, she can't be there. Yes. And the other caveat I have is her being there cannot impede in any way, shape, or form. On his participation with the wedding party, which with the bachelor party, which it will. And you make a good point. You say just by her very being there. Yep. He will want to be attentive to her in a way that will impede upon. Guys, I got it. I got to go, dude. Christy's at the room, man. Like, I got to go now. Obviously, if that happened.

2:43:36And that's part of my caveat. That can't happen. It would happen. Okay, if that happens, then it's wrong. If it were me, that wouldn't happen. If it were me, my participation wouldn't be any different if Rebecca were there. You say that, though. Dude, I'm telling you. Mike, I have food poisoning. I need somebody in the room. Something will come up. Something will come up. Here's the thing about Vegas. What do you do then? Is when you go out in Vegas, you don't come home at 2 in the morning. You come home at 6 in the morning. And if you have a wife in your room who is waking up around the time you get home. Steaming. No matter what, she's going to be mad. No matter what. Well, now see, you're going to do that whether or not she's there or she's not there. He won't. He won't. Because she'll be mad. She'll be mad. And if that's the deal, then yeah, it's a deal breaker. But here's my point. My point is that you're not out until 5 o'clock in the morning because you're having sex with other girls. Right. Whether she's there or whether she's not there. Right. And so this whole idea of her being angry to me is ridiculous since it's a bachelor party. Here's the bit.

2:44:50You're a grown, married man. What are you doing staying out until 5 o'clock in the morning? You know why? Because I can. I'm with my boys who I see once a year, twice a year at the most. We've known each other for 25 years. Maybe I'm being naive, but I'm thinking to myself, well, if she's the type of woman that he'd bring with her, I would take Rebecca, but Rebecca would never whine about anything. But what would she be doing there then? What would she do? Rebecca would do this. Like, let's say it was in Vegas. Rebecca would love to go because she would love to take advantage of the spa, the shopping, that she'd love to do that. And in the morning, we'd get up, we'd have breakfast together. Maybe we'd go. Downstairs into the casino, we'd play a little blackjack, blah, blah, blah. And then maybe about 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I'd go, all right, babe, I'll see you probably tomorrow morning at 4. But if she weren't there, you'd spend more time with the boys. You'd be getting on a heater at noon, you know what I mean? If I'm going to have breakfast with the boys, if that's the plan. That is the plan. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Don't look for your wife. Then that means that she has to understand. And I know my wife.

2:46:00I know that all I would have to say to Rebecca is, hey, babe, I'm going to be with the boys whenever the boys are getting together. And she'd be like, knock yourself out. I'm going to be at the spa. Until, and I'm not saying Rebecca would do this, and I'm not saying Jamie would do this. There are women, and I know women like this, that would be like, babe. Can we, before you go, I just want to spend some time with me. Oh, yeah. If that's the deal. I don't feel good. I mean, that's like a completely different situation. And see, his girl is not like that at all. His girl, she's like a dude. But you know what? She's not a dude. She's not a dude. Yeah. She doesn't know these guys. You know how it should work? If it was going to work properly, he wouldn't even have to tell you guys and you'd never know. That's how it would work perfectly. Yeah. If he brought her. And let's say she came with her sister or a friend. Yeah. And, yeah, they had the same room, but she was at the spa and at the pool all day. Different story. We never saw her. Didn't know she was there. I have no problem with it. Right. None. I would not bring a dude to a bachelorette party. No way. Let's flip the roles. What if...

2:47:04What if on your bachelorette party, one of your friends is like, hey, is it cool if I bring Mike? And you're like, absolutely not. No, I got mad and I didn't say anything. I tried to play it cool. But my friend was dropped off by her boyfriend before we went out for my bachelorette party. And he came in for a minute. And I was like, dude, what's he even doing here? Like, we're in our full get up. Get out. You know, like, I don't want to see you. Your penis is hanging around your neck. Exactly. You probably did. You did. The straws, the whole deal. The straws, the whole bit. Is that weird stuff? Is that weird? Here's the thing. See, my wife is not the type. Okay, they just... My wife is not the type. She would never suggest that. She would never suggest it. And the reason that she wouldn't is because she knows how human beings think. So even if she wanted to, she knows that human beings would go, are you that girl? Yeah. Because that girl, by the way, the girl that wants to go, there's more associated. She doesn't want him to go alone. I mean, clearly, right? No, not clearly. Well, yeah, I'm willing to hear. I'm willing to hear. Not clearly, because in this case, I know Christy very well. And she's not that way, to my knowledge. Now, it could be just like, dude, that's a bummer. I want to go to Vegas, too. I love Vegas. Great.

2:48:35Like, no, no, I won't go. Honestly, I'm telling you. When one of your friends gets married. Just going to sit at the pool. Right. See, that's probably the bit she's giving him. And he's like, he tells me, Uji, she's like the best, man. I love her so much. Like, I don't want to let her down. And, like, I'm like, Johnny, you're not letting, the fact that it's even a question that you should be allowed to go is a problem. I'm not allowed to go. Maybe she just really honestly is like. Well, what's the big deal? I'm not going to... You do your thing. I'm going to do mine. And then what do you do as the guy? If he says absolutely no way, is she the type that won't care? No. Are any of them? He doesn't have to say it in that way. That's my point. She does care or else we wouldn't be having a conversation. He obviously cares. But he doesn't need to say absolutely no way because then that's like, well, why not? Then you start to be like... Then you feel like a dean because you're like, you can't go. I think it should be like, oh, babe, it's kind of like... It's a guy thing. You guys, that's my point. My whole point in saying it is that... If she is the type that's going to go, what do you mean I can't go? Then there absolutely is a whole other thing that goes along with the girl that says she wants to go. There's two things. Who wants to be, A, the guy that brings his wife?

2:49:46Okay. Do you want to be him? No. Okay. Do you want to be the only girl at a bachelor party? No. Unless you're an exotic dancer? No. I mean, I go out with Todd and his friends all the time. Out. And out. Yeah. And I can keep up with them plenty all night. You know what I mean? Before I was pregnant. Wow. But Vegas is another story. And I know that I would be home and I would wake up, you know, three in the morning or something like, oh, he's not back yet. Weird. And I would have a hard time falling back to sleep. And then I finally would. And I'd wake up at five. He's not home yet. What's going on? Now I'm mad. What's happening? Texting him? Texting him? That's going to happen if you're home. No. He wouldn't come home at 6 in the morning. And I know that there's, you know, what goes on at a bachelor party. And I would rather not be there because I don't want to know. There is a call on the line that is exactly what I thought would not happen. No way. Somebody defending her? I said to Woods, I go, dude, I don't know that we'll get one person that will call and defend her. Look at Woods. You can tell he starts sweating. I can't believe it either. He's like, how are we going to have this conversation? Turns out it's Christy from Texas. Yeah, no, she's a Wichita can. No, it's M1 Brenda from San Diego. Brenda, are you there? Yes, hi. You support the girl going. Oh, totally. I've been in that situation. And I love Vegas. So any chance that my husband is on his way to Vegas for a bachelor party, and I know what they do. I mean, I know where they go.

2:51:11You know, what time to get back. And I have no problems because we're very secure. And so, you know, one time we went out. He didn't get back until 6 in the morning. I was up a couple of times wondering, huh, it's kind of late this time. And sure enough, at 7 a.m., he throws in, just throws himself on the bed completely out. And I get a call from downstairs, the casino, saying, um, we're holding the chips for Mr. So-and-so. Anyway, he... He was so drunk. He had no idea. He told him he was going to the restroom, never in return, and had like $1,500 on the table left. If you guys are so secure, maybe let him go by himself. Oh, I don't have any problems letting him go by himself. But you would never go on a bachelor party with him. Yeah, yeah. That was the bachelor party we went on. Okay, was it his bachelor party? No, we're married. No, right. But before you got married, you had a bachelor party, right? Did you guys do it like as couples?

2:52:11impose on somebody else's bachelor party by being the only wife there no i never i never imposed i mean he i was not at any of the events and he never joined me for breakfast or anything like that it was just he did his own thing i was there to enjoy the spa some gambling and alone time as a matter of fact we're bad luck for each other when we gamble my wife and i too i just you know for me like like mikey said If she literally locked herself in a closet for three days, that would be fine. If I didn't know she was there, that would be okay. But don't take away one solitary second of guy time. Good. I completely agree. Hey, Brenda. They don't even want to see her. Brenda. Because then they get guilty feelings. Brenda, how long have you been married? Almost 10 years. How old are you? I'm 37. So you guys got married when you were 27? Yeah, and we did that. How long did you date before you got married? Three years. So you were 24 when you started to date? Yeah. Was he a different guy than he is now? Was he wild and crazy, or what was he like when you started dating? He's one of those guys that is the wing guy. He likes to be around danger, but always kind of watching and laughing. So I know what he's like, and I trust him. He has no issues.

2:53:38being part in was there ever a time when you didn't trust him not really because he's been the most open honest person with me he tells me everything so there's never there's never been any mess ups one time wait what's your point though yeah no one time but i mean you know when was it when was it um it was actually About a year and a half before we, so a year and a half into dating. And then we still had a year and a half after that. So it worked out for about a half year there. We kind of worked things out. And then at year three, we got married. All right, Brenda. Well, I appreciate it. Thank you very much for the call. Yeah. Thanks. Bye. My point is. What's your point? My point is, is that we forgive many times. Okay. Yeah. And I'm fine. And, you know, John. And maybe that's why. John and Chrissy. She wanted to go. John and Christy are pretty rock solid, you know, and she definitely doesn't have anything to worry about. Neither does my wife, neither does Gabe's wife. We don't get to see each other. Is this the three of you guys? No, and there's a couple other dudes that we don't really know. When the three of us are together, it's three best friends that have known each other since seventh grade laughing all day long. And to have somebody's wife there, to be like, we can't go.

2:55:00Like, I don't like strip clubs, but I'm sure Gabe's going to want to go to a strip club. I hate strip clubs. I hate them. But, like, John's going to be like, well, I can't go. I'll be throwing craps, guys. I don't like strip clubs. You know why? Because your wife's there. Otherwise, she'd be there with us. I just think this might not be the only reason he wouldn't want to go. It would totally. Because you know what you do on a bachelor party? Whatever the bachelor wants to do. Guys, I don't know. They just need that time. My husband, he never wants to go out ever on the weekends. He likes to just stay home, but if he's with his friends that he grew up with, he will be with them all night long. Yeah, get M1 Real Man. Yeah, hi guys. What up? Yeah, I just say, man, you know, I don't buy it because there's no way you can take your woman, drop her off at the hotel Friday and say, hey, I might not see you till Sunday. Exactly. And crash in your buddy's room or whatever. Maybe not even sleep for two days. She won't let you get away with that. Wait a second. There's no way that she's not going to call up and bother you or just say, hey, what are you guys doing? Right there's an interruption. Well, dude, listen. I believe that projection is when you take your own relationship.

2:56:07And you, like, kind of project it all over me like a screen, like a movie screen. Maybe your wife or your girlfriend would do that. My wife, Rebecca, if she did, first of all, she would never be the one to say, can I go, blah, blah, blah. But if she did, there would be discussion. We wouldn't just go, oh, okay, sure. There would be discussion like, okay. There would be discussion like, hey, just so you know. Here are the rules. This is what's going to go down. And if my wife agrees to it, my wife's not then the type that we get there and it becomes something completely different. That's just the way it is. I think it's selfish on the part of the woman. Yeah, I do too. Can we call him? Yes. Oh, I don't know. He doesn't know. Yes. He doesn't know. I think it's selfish because, like Sienna said. We all need, I mean, even girls need those weekends. And it's not, you know, it's not anything against the other sex. It's just like, that's bonding time. It's healthy. You think it's weird to have bonding time? No, no. I think it's weird to want to go. Oh, yeah. Wait, wait. I have a question. He doesn't know we're calling. He may be mad at me, but we have to. He texted you yesterday. And what did you say? Does he know at all that you are anti this? Oh, yeah. I called him after I got the text. Okay. I called him after I got the text. And he answered the phone like this.

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3:04:07This report is brought to you by Account Temps, matching highly skilled temporary financial professionals with their clients' requirements for over 60 years. Call or visit them at AccountTemps.com, an equal opportunity employer. On the 163 northbound after the 805, we've got an accident on the right shoulder. It's an SUV and a car that collided. That car's left rear tire fell off. It's causing a delay in that area. The 8 westbound before Jackson Drive, solo vehicle over on the right shoulder went up the embankment. And looks like the 805 southbound before the 163, we have a car spun out. taking it off the freeway right now. This report brought to you by Advanced Auto Parts. Shop over 90,000 auto parts at one easy location. AdvancedAutoparts.com. Go online. You can learn more about special offers, sweepstakes, and deals. See the site for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. You're in a country mood. I am. You are in a country mood. Going back to Texas, dude. Yeah. In an hour. Lonesome blues. Yep. How about that? Welcome back. Woodsy is picking the music. Do we have your buddy on the line? Oh, yeah. Don't be nervous, buddy. His name is Fenwick, right? John Fenwick, yep. John, how are you? What's going on, Mikey? Hey, buddy. Not too much. Now, we got to update people that are just tuning in what the deal is with Fenwick.

3:05:48Fenwick has been invited to Woodsy's friend Gabe's bachelor party. Three best friends that anyone could ever have. In Vegas. Just a couple of besties. That's right. Since puberty. Since puberty. Puberty. That's right. We all Frenched our first girls around the same time. Frenched them real good. Down in Fenwick's basement, actually. That's great. That's wonderful. It's great. It's wonderful, Steven. First time ever with a second base. Great. Thank you. Thank you, Fenwick. I was right next to him. Definitely Woodsy's friend. I was right next to him. Thank you, Fenwick. He sounds fun. Thank you. And I took it afro. Thank you. So you guys are going to a bachelor party in Vegas. Wow. Now, Fenwick, so you're married now. No. You're not married. Getting married in June. Oh, you're getting married in June. Okay, and this bachelor party that you guys are going to, the friend of yours, is in September. So you will have been a newlywed for three months. For three months. Okay, and your wife, your soon-to-be wife, she is going with you to Vegas to the bachelor party. It's been proposed. Okay, now let me ask you. Did she propose it? Yeah. She did? Okay. Yeah. Can you tell me exactly how the conversation went down? Can you walk us through it? Walk us through it and put on the honest cap. All right, honest cap. I was waiting for her to get in some.

3:07:21Like, deep wedding conversation, you know, invitations, going out, save the date stuff. Oh, by the way, hey, Dave's bachelor party's in September. I'm going to go. And then, yeah. So, she's like, well, I'm going with, right? Oh, God. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's pause. Let's pause. Let's pause. So uncomfortable. So uncomfortable. It really is. Yeah, she said, I'm going with, right? Now, the way that she said that implies. There's no discussion. Well, it implies, like, this is something that we both know already, right? So why was there an implied, like, that's the way it was going to go down? I mean, this girl is a gem. I mean, would be, you know, anyone that knows her, she's a gem. She's the best. And she's fun as heck to hang out with. And taking her to Vegas, we've got a bunch of times to go with her family and friends, and she's a blast. This is just assumed that, you know, we're going to Vegas. We're taking a trip together. But maybe she didn't understand that it's a bachelor party. But you had just said that it was a bachelor party. So you told her it was a bachelor party. And she had this sort of, like, pre-assumed, like, well, I'm going, right? And why was, why? She knows that Stephen Woods and I really don't make good decisions together. Yeah, we do.

3:08:53Really, Woods? Yeah, 15 years ago. So it is a little bit of a big brother thing. Real quick, Mikey Show, been divorced three years, was married for nine, known Woodsy for 20. So, you know, Woodsy might have had a hand to do with, you know, me being divorced in the first place. Wait, what? What? What are you talking about? Don't pin that on me. How? That was a statement. You're like 7% of the reason. How? I'm 7%. How? Really? I didn't even know this. Woods, will you leave the room? No, I'm not leaving. This is my best friend. I know, but why won't you leave? There's no freaking way I'm leaving. Wow. Love it. This is so insane. Did she really bring my name up? Oh, you know she did. Oh, my God. She did? Why? I lived in Dallas. I know, but did I ever bring her down to Dallas with me? Or is it, hey, I'm going to go on a work trip and might hang out with Woodsy while I'm down there? So you got, so by your action, so I was the guy basically that got blamed for everything. I'm going to pass out. I was the fall guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. How? Because he has no balls. That's how. I don't understand. Why was Woodsy the fall guy? How was he, how was he have to do something? Yeah. How was Woods to blame?

3:10:12There's a lot of reasons to blame. Because it's hard to take a good, hard look at yourself. So sometimes you just blame a kid. That's right. The kid gets blamed for everything. And you're the first time you've been blamed for anything like this. Why? Why am I being blamed? Yeah, why Woods? Because Woods had that. You knew, you know, was he in Dallas, Mikey? Yes. Yeah, I mean, that was kind of the way that. But if I got a divorce. I don't know that anybody would say that it was, you know, how would they draw the connection between Woods? It's not like you and I were sleeping together. Yeah, that was what I was going to ask. Were you guys messing around with each other? Why would... Maybe it was a hyperbole, but, you know, Woods had a lot to do. I just used that word on radio. Yeah, that was a nice poll. Were you an English major as well? Can you... Okay, I guess we're not going to find out how Woods had to do with it. Yeah, because I want to know. Yeah, Woods wants to know how he had something to do with it.

3:11:12Okay, Woodsy's this cool guy, single guy living in Dallas, you know, and I got married pretty young. And let me just, a footnote, my ex and I get along really well now and everything's cool. But, you know, when I would go down to Dallas and hang out with Woodsy, then I tried to act like Woodsy and I probably made some bad decisions. We'd party on that. Probably. So Woodsy was a bad influence. I was a bad influence. Let's say that. 100%. Okay. Okay, yeah, don't blame me, but yeah, I was a bad influence. I was a dirtbag. So then you went back to wherever you were from, and you were bad influenced by Woodsy, and you acted like Woodsy, and she was like, I don't want to be married to Woodsy. Divorce. Yeah, exactly. Got it. Like, standing on the roof, you know, I'm a golden god. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, Woods does that. Things like that. Yeah, stuff like that. Yeah. Such a D. So now let's fast forward. Let's fast forward, Fenwick, to your current soon-to-be wife. Right. So what is her issue with, why does she, why does it go without saying for her? Is it because I'm there? No, no, just because it's a whole guy thing. And just, you know, going to Vegas without her. I mean, you know, bad things happen in Vegas, man. They don't have to. They don't have to.

3:12:31I know they don't have to, but you know they do. Okay, Fenwick, when you guys were having this conversation, you and your soon-to-be wife, and you're chatting about Vegas and stuff, and if she were to say, I'm going to go in a bachelorette party, would it come into your mind to say, well, I'm going, right? Okay. Would you want to go to a bachelorette party in Vegas? Johnny, would you want to be the only dude at a bachelorette party? No, not at all. Never. So don't you think you should say to her, why would you want to come? Because she, I mean, she's got three brothers. She hangs out with my buddies all the time. I mean, we don't do anything. Like, it's never, I'm going to go out with a buddy who's going to get some beers. I mean, we do everything together. Are boobs allowed to attend a bachelor party? No. Only guys. That's why it's called a bachelor party. Yeah, I know. Well, maybe a bachelor party was an asterisk. So she could like, all right, we're there for three days. She hangs out with me. You can't, man. I know, I know. What do I do? Okay, well, let's help him. She's not listening right now, right? Yeah. How could he get out of it without looking like a bad guy? Johnny, here's the deal. You have to come on this thing, right? You have to come. It's me, you, and Gabe. You have to come. It's Vegas.

3:13:50You have to be there. What if you and Woods share a room and you're like, dude. That's probably not going to help the situation. What if you. Well, you and someone that's not an instigator share a room. But that's what I mean. Like if you're sharing a room with another guy, like maybe you guys just get like two joining rooms and you guys all just party together in those rooms. Obviously, she can't go if that's the case. So maybe you guys just try to do that. Okay. One of you just got married, right? I did. Yeah. Okay. So. You're totally cool. What did your husband do with his bachelor party? He went up to Huntington Beach, which is like an hour away from here, with all of his friends, and they went out for a Saturday night. They were gone, and he stayed up there for the night. Okay, and that was all cool, no worries at all, right? No, because you've got to have a bachelor party. Yeah, you got to. All right. Yeah, but what I thought was interesting was Fenwick said to Woods about Vegas, he's like, well, you know, everybody says that bad stuff doesn't have to happen, but... We all know it does. I'm like, well, wasn't that just an admission of something? I mean, you said you all know it does. It doesn't. It doesn't have to. It doesn't have to. He just said it, but we all know. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I heard that. And so do I pretend I didn't hear that? He means like drinking too much and making, you know, spending too much money. Gambling too much. But it doesn't mean like cheating. Does he? No. No.

3:15:15No, not at all. No. I don't know what it meant. All I know is that he said, hey, listen, it doesn't have to be like that. All right. I think there are just a few times a year, even for the couple that doesn't spend any time apart, there are just a few exceptions where there has to be a girl's weekend, there has to be a guy's weekend, and a bachelor party is one of those exceptions. Hey, bro, most important, have you told Gabe this? No, no, dude. You're scared. You're scared to death, aren't you? Dude, you know, this is the beginning stages of this working out in our favor. Because I have so many questions. Does your fiancé know that we're even having, like, does she know that it's even a question in your mind? Or does she think 100% she's going? Oh, I think, Sienna, she is going. I don't think she's going. I think she's going. She's going. She's not going. You can't let her go. In her mind, if I'm going to Vegas, she's coming with. Not because she's that girl. No, she's that girl if she's coming. Wait, do you what? Do you know her? Johnny, yes, I know her. But the fact that she asks made her that girl. I never would have thought she was that girl. The fact that she asked to go made her that girl. Well, is she not by definition that girl? That's the definition of that girl. Wait, excuse me. Isn't the definition of that girl that she not only wants to go, she assumes that she's going. And inviting, basically saying, I'm going, right?

3:16:40Yeah, it's not like, hey, can I go? Johnny, what would you like? What if she's like, hey, what do you think if me and Carrie and a bunch of the girls go at the same time? Here's the deal with that. I have no problem with that. None. Stays in a room with her friends. Yeah, she goes with her friends and they're like, I have no problem with a dual bachelor, like a bachelor bachelorette party. I have no problem with that at all. And Fenwick, you're describing this girl like she likes to hang out with the dudes. She's cool. She likes sports. She's a gem. Kind of sounds like me. Anyway, she can be as cool as she wants, and I don't want to knock her down with this statement, but I think it's a little bit selfish that she's asking to go. Why? Because it's putting him in a very awkward situation. Obviously. He's on the radio talking about it. Okay. Is there a part of you? Family in San Diego. Is there a part of you that... at all wants her to go with you? Yeah. What? Well, then she's not that girl if he wants her to go. Did you just hear that? It was, yeah, question mark. I'm going to grab your piece from you the next time I see you and put it in a drawer. Stop it. M1 Jimmy is on the line and has a great question. Great question. Yeah, I want to know, what's your plan for your bachelor party, bud?

3:17:55We just had it. I went to St. Louis. About 15 dudes. We went to, you know, I live in the Midwest, so college basketball is huge. We went to a college basketball tournament for the weekend. It was awesome. How many of their chicks went? Yeah, but her brothers were with me. But that's standard. That's a standard procedure, dude. That's a standard. That's SOP, man. Standard operating procedure. The brother. Didn't you see the hangover? The brother or the bride went on the bachelor party. He's in the mix. That's standard. There were no girls at your bachelor party. And by you saying that, Fenwick, you're kind of implying that, like, okay, but there was a chaperone on that trip. So are you implying that there needs to be a chaperone on this trip? I love this. That's not bad. That's not a bad idea. I could have my buddy Kenzel come. Wonderful, wonderful idea. Bring Kenzel, I'm telling you. So she's okay if Kenzel comes? Yeah, but dude, I... Who's Kenzel? Our friend, our friend. Guy or girl? There's a man named Kenzel wandering around in the world. I'm sorry. It's his last name. I'm just asking. I was thinking the same thing. It's his last name. Rapunzel. Try to be nice. Try to be nice. It's just his name. I'm just, all right. Not a first call closer. You know, I got to work the deal a little bit. He does. He is the biggest. Like, here's me. If this comes up. Okay. It's my, it's my house. Jamie goes, I'm going right. And I go.

3:19:21That's what my husband would do, too. I go, honey, are you out of your mind? No, you're not going. I called Jamie last night and asked her. Jamie goes, no, I wouldn't want to go. You're not even going, honey. It's awkward. My wife wouldn't want to go. Johnny, you got it. I get it. She's the best thing that ever happened to you. I don't disagree with that. I knew your first wife, and I know this one. Dude, major, major score, right? Major score. But you need to kind of... Lay down the law a little bit. Really? Yes. Yes. And say, hey, listen, honey. You mean lay down the law with the wife or the soon-to-be wife that said, I'm going, comma, right? Yes. You need to go and say, listen, I understand that you want to go. I understand how you're feeling about this. I understand. But you're not going. I have to agree with Liz. Period. You're not going. Like, you say, honey, I don't want to be that guy that took his wife to the bachelor party. I don't want to be that guy. And do you really want to be the only girl there? You're going to be that guy for the rest of your life. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now I'm thinking about it. No, John, listen. All you got to do, buddy, all you got to do is ask yourself, who is it going to be worse to let down? Is it going to be worse? Oh, you're such a... Is it going to be worse to let down your boys?

3:20:37Or is it going to be worse to live with? She'll get over it, because you know why? They're married. You have to prove something as a man. You guys will get over it, too, only you don't share a bathroom. You've got to lay the groundwork now, otherwise you're going to be beaten down for the rest of your life. I would say, though, he's going to need to tread softly, because he didn't speak up when she first said it. That was your bad. So he's going to have to tread softly with us. You know how you handle it? You go, I had time to think about it, and now this is what I think is going on. It's not fair to Gabe. I'm sure that the woman that says, I'm going, right, is totally willing to listen to your processing process. Well, what about the little situation I gave with the room sharing? Obviously, she's not going if guys have conjoining rooms. Oh, yeah. I'm sure that that puts her mind at ease, too. Oh, really? So you're telling me. That should put her mind at ease because then no girls are going back because there's all these guys in the room. I know what he can do. Nobody's bringing girls back. We want to go get. Well, I know. She's not that girl where she doesn't trust me, all right? She just told me to act like an idiot and do something really stupid. I think you should just, like, have a little camera that follows you the whole time that she can log in at any time and see what you're doing. You should have your friends put a leash around you. Yeah. Just get a GPS system so she can track. Johnny, I got to nip this in the bud. Yeah, you do?

3:22:03Dude, you sound like a cool guy. We want you to come visit. Bring your fiancé. I'm sure she's rad. John Fenwick, I can honestly say, is, like, he's my best friend in the whole world. Well, listen to us. And I would murder for this guy. But, Johnny, if she's on that bachelor party. She's going to be. No, she's not. She's going to be. Johnny, if she's on that bachelor party, you realize you're a dead man. Hey, Johnny. Hey, Johnny, if she doesn't go to that bachelor party. Mikey, stop! You can do it. Hey, buddy, I love you. You got this. Man up. Real quick, I love this guy. I've known him my whole life. He's never been happy. You guys are doing awesome for me. Thanks, buddy. Love you, man. Thanks, Fenwick. Congratulations on your marriage. Fenwick is a nice guy, and it sounds like why he's in this predicament. He's in this predicament because he's a nice guy and because she knows that he's not the kind of guy if she asks to go to a bachelorette party. He's just like, no! Like me. Yeah, but Todd's a nice guy, and he would laugh. I know. He'd be like, no. But he has a temperament where he's going to go, oh, yeah, sure, hon. Yeah. You got to. You guys want to hear about the, when we come back, you want to hear about the water aerobics class that was being interrupted by a crocodile swimming right in the middle of it? Yeah, of course. Me too.

3:23:26Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Springtime is here at BMW Encinitas. Blue skies and great weather. The perfect time of year for a brand new BMW convertible. And right now, during the spring sales drive at BMW Encinitas, you can take advantage of up to a $2,500 spring drive credit. 0.9% APR financing. Shop rows and rows of convertibles from the sporty and stylish C4 to 3 Series, 6 Series, and more with 0.9% APR and up to a $2,500 spring drive credit. BMW Encinitas will put you in the convertible of your dreams. This spring, get the ultimate driving machine only at BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real.

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3:29:50Your strange condition. You know, I'm into issues with my eye. Do you? Do you need the kid to come over and sort some things out for you? Trust me. Get Miley off there. Get some good stuff on there. Get some Ryan Adams on there for you, pal. It's not the deal. Is that what you want? I'll do it. That is not my issue. What is your issue? I got problems. You know what happened to me last night on iTunes? What? I downloaded an album, Weird, and it gave me the wrong songs. I clicked on a song that I know is X, and it's the wrong title of the song. Has that ever happened to you? It was really weird. Like, okay, the song is called Gringo Honeymoon. And I clicked on Gringo Honeymoon, but in fact, it wasn't Gringo Honeymoon. It was Linville Train. Where did the song come from? A CD that I downloaded. I downloaded off iTunes. Isn't that weird? It mixed them up. It's too much of a pain to call and be like, ugh. My issues are complicated. Yeah.

3:31:00I have a new iTunes account. I don't even know why. I just do. I don't know why I did it. I'm terrified to change because of that reason. Don't. If you have an iTunes account, don't change your account. Keep it the same. Just get like five different iPods and have a different account for each. Oh my gosh. That's a nightmare. Because I got a different iTunes account now and now on my iPhone. When I go to update applications, it brings up my old iTunes account, which I don't have anymore. So when I type the password in, it won't accept it and I can't download. So you know what I have to do? What? I have to delete those applications and download them all over again. That's fresh. That's awesome. You do have problems. And now I got a new computer. And when I click on songs, they're protected. With the old password. It wants the old password. To play them. Go talk to one of the geniuses in the store. They'll make it right. They will not make it right. I know that there's people that are listening to this going, oh, easy fix. I'm telling you, I've been going back and forth with Apple about it. It's the people in the store. I know, but the Apple technicians are as knowledgeable as the geniuses in the store. In fact,

3:32:27I did do that. That's the first place I went. I went to the Apple store. They're good. They get it. But the guy looked at my phone. He goes, this is an iTunes issue. He goes, you got to consult with iTunes. Because I get a lot of like, I've been pulled aside a couple of times in the store. I probably shouldn't tell you this. If you want to do this. Here's what you do. I've heard that bit too. I want to make out with you. Well, now I'm talking with iTunes. And they said, yeah, no problem. Do this. And you're welcome. And I do it, and it doesn't work. Poor Mikey. That's how I would get. I make him sit there and work with me until I work through it. It's like, oh, no, stay on the phone. Okay, almost through. We're communicating by email. Oh, my God. Just pick up the phone and call. You're like Bauman. Bauman won't call anybody. I would. He does the email bit. I would.

3:33:21I'm going to shoot her an email. Pick up the phone. Dude, that's what I said. Can I call you? Do you have a number I can call? They don't respond to that. Call the Apple helpline. Ask for iTunes. That's not compute. That's not compute, Mikey. Pick up the phone, pal. You are pulling a woods right now, I want to point out. You're playing kid games emails, dude. He's chewing on his pen. That's what little kids do. Maybe send him a text next time. Pick up the phone, dude, like a man. All right? He's trying. He's getting me. He knows it. Maybe I can put a good word in for you, Mikey. Please, TomTom girl. I can't even handle it. I'll talk to my cousins over at the Apple email support. Don't you tell me you were related. It didn't come up until now, Mikey. Man, I wish I'd have told you this, TomTom girl. Maybe I go make it right for you. Yeah, maybe you do. Maybe I'll have you call them and you make it right. You know that. Thank you, TomTom girl.

3:34:23You've been hanging around with Woods a lot. Apple store located 7.2 miles. When you say miles, my favorite thing you say. Get way too much time with Woods. Spend a lot of time together. I think I'm going to take her home to Texas today. You are? Uh-huh. That's what she said. That didn't really make any sense. She doesn't get that yet. Fashion Valley Mall located 0.7 miles. Miles. By he. My key. You know that, my key. I do, Tom Tom, girl. I do. She's so cute. Little buttons. I figured she'd make you smile. She does. She's a little angel. Little buttons. Little boots. Little boots. Want to hear about the water aerobics class that had the croc swim into it? Very much. First of all, who does water aerobics? My grandmother. The elderly. The elderly, right? I may start, actually.

3:35:29Good thing for pregnant women. Yeah, it is. Maybe we start. Yeah, maybe we start. You guys want to all come with me? We can do it together. I'm in. It takes the pressure off your joints. Really? Off your joints. Me and my one-piece bathing suit. You got the old one-piece going, huh? You did. Oh, boy. I'm going to wear it. It means you're a pregnant lady. I'm going to wear it to Mexico and to the wedding I'm going to. What color? It's like a bronze color. It looks pretty nice on my skin. It does? Yeah. My white skin. Creamy white skin. That alabaster white skin. I know. I need to lie out and get ready for the sun down there because I'm going to burn. But it's raining. What am I going to do? Yeah, I can't wait to get back to Dallas where the weather's nice. I'm going to be a strawberry when I come back. I'm going to be so ready. Dude, I looked at the weather the other day. You're going to have a great time in Mexico. It's 75 degrees in Dallas. It's 75 in Dallas. Yeah. Here in San Diego. By the way, it snowed in Alpine yesterday. I know. No way. There was a significant drop yesterday morning when I was getting ready for work. I used my space heater last night. Yeah, we had the heater on. What's going on? It was butt cold this morning. What? Yeah.

3:36:39It was butt cold this morning. Dear Al Gore. Huh? Dear Al Gore. Wait a minute. Are you trying to say that it's not global warming because it's cold? Yes. Mikey. Mikey. Climate swings either way. Yeah. This isn't normal. That's my point. Yeah. Like my brother. He goes, global warming. That's why there's 89,000 hurricanes. He said this in 05 when Katrina happened. He goes, that's global warming, blah, blah, blah. Now, I'm not saying that. denying the existence of global warming. All I'm saying to him is, I go, dude, don't give me this global warming hurricane business. I said, you want to know something? In the coming years, we're not going to see so many hurricanes. I go, you know why? I go, because it's cyclical. Like you have bad stuff happen and then it stops. And then bad stuff happens and then it stops. That's life. That's the way that it goes. It's been going that way for... 500 years. Exactly. That's why right now it's freezing cold, and it probably won't be freezing cold again in San Diego, and it won't be snowing in Alpine on April 21st for 10 years. Don't look at these extreme swings. This is weather as opposed to climate. Look at the average temperatures, the water level, precipitation level. But I believe that when the snow starts melting up in the polar caps,

3:37:56Are you guys trying to make me insane today? You're trying. I've lost. I've lost it, right? You just have to just blah, blah, blah, blah. I've lost it. You know what? Moving on. President Obama. It's supposed to be really nice. It's the greatest thing to ever happen. Ever happened in this country. It's supposed to be really nice this weekend so we can all do our water aerobics class. And it's a good thing we're not going to be in Australia. Who cares about marriage vows anyway? Yeah, that's it. I love our new health care bill. It's amazing. What do you think about divorce? I tried to keep moving, Mike. I tried. Get me out. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Okay, well, there is a water aerobics class at a holiday park in northern Australia. They had a little bit of a situation. They were all doing their little exercises when a five-foot-long crocodile came up to the pool. That's not a croak. They got out. The croak got in. This is if Steve Irwin just ran over the room. Or Crocodile Dundee. That's not a croc. That's not a knife. That's a knife. So the croc just got into the pool and they had to get the ranger over there to get the guy out of here. Can you imagine? No. If I just even saw a crocodile. Number three. For sure. Scary. Did you see?

3:39:19What was, I think it was in the movie Jackass where Steve-O's over the crocodiles and he's got on a thong and they hung chicken. That is ridiculous. They're snapping at him? And they're snapping at him. Snapping at him. It's the worst. It's brilliant. Mikey, are you talking to us again? Yeah. I'm back in. Okay. I'm back in. I had to, I checked out there for a minute with the iTunes and the global warming and the snow and alpine. He's back. Snow and alpine. Mikey had to explain where Alpine was to me yesterday, and I was blown away. It's that close. Yeah. It was butt cold. I walked outside yesterday in my boxers to have a smoke. He called me. I called Mikey. Were you on your laptop, dude? Here's Woods at his place in Hillcrest, out in his balcony in his boxers, looking like Cheryl Teeks to the rest of the day. Advertising. On his cell phone, talking to me. I don't know about that. Kid's a big hit. Oh, yeah. The bell of the ball. Look at that, Hanson. Jeez. The bell of the ball. Bell of the basement. Oh, God. Can I borrow a smoke? Amazing. Let's see. What else is going on? Last night on American Idol, they did this. Every year they do a charity called Idol Gives Back. It's pretty big.

3:40:54President Obama even did a little thing where he said something. With Michelle. And then a bunch of big artists come on and perform. Like fat guys? Like fat guys? Big as in popular. Popular. The Black Eyed Peas, Jeff Beck. Carrie Underwood. Carrie Underwood, Alicia Keys. Elton John. George Lopez came on. He's a big one. I was not into it. Hey, is he Latino? Yeah, he tells you that every two seconds. Hey, Latino. Have I mentioned to you guys that I'm Mexican? Mexican? This is how we Mexicans do it.

3:41:33Yeah, it isn't about going to the ATM. It's about a Mexican. Hey, you ever been a Mexican at an ATM? No, I'm actually a blonde white girl. I'm Caucasian. It's not the differences between dogs and cats. It's, have you ever been a Mexican man and you have a dog and a cat? Isn't that crazy? Every time. That's his bit, every joke. I know it. He came on, he roasted all the different judges. That was his thing last night. And he roasted Simon Cowell. Yeah. Every night, Simon Cowell. Yeah, man, every night, dude, you are not Mexican. It was ghastly. Ryan, stop touching me. You say that every night. My tattoo artist said, mix it up, Simon. Every now and then, wear a large T-shirt. I'm not saying your shirts are tight, Simon, but people at home can tell how cold it is in the studio. I've always wanted to ask this one question of you, Simon Cowell. Saline or silicone? That was big. You know what I love about Simon, though, is everyone gets him about his shirts. And has he ever stopped wearing those shirts? No. He can't, though, because he's on TV. No, he sticks to what he loves. I know, but you guys shamed me right out of my cargo shorts. But if I was on TV, I couldn't. No, you couldn't bow out. I couldn't. Yeah, I couldn't.

3:43:01Safe face, pal. Not on TV. Okay, but Simon wears like the same thing every night. He could switch it up a little bit. Maybe throw a blazer on or something over it. I don't know. Skin tight shirt. Just medium shirts. Just mediums. The baby gap shirts. Baby gaps. Band of Horses Laredo. Woodsy's picking the music. You know that. Want to play Would You Rather? Absolutely. We'll do a quick round when we come back. Pop it in. Turn it on. Hold on. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. In this episode of Mossy Nissan's Dare to Compare, the reliable Nissan Altima takes on Challenger Toyota Camry in a race to the finish. The catch, they each get just one gallon of gas.

3:44:16And here comes the stylish Nissan Ultima 2.5 S cruising in for the win. Hey, congratulations, Team Ultima. Oh, yeah. Thanks, man. It was easy. Our Ultima gets better city MPG than that Camry. Yeah. This car is sweet. Yeah, just like you, babe. And here comes Team Camry, trying to push their Camry LE over the finish line. What happened, guys? Our Camry ran out of gas. Uh, you ran out of gas. Don't start. Not now. Why wait? Dare to compare today and get a new 2010 Nissan Altima 2.5 S with auto, AC, and more for only $18,995 net cost at all six Massey Nissan locations. For 13, 110 with 22, 735 MSRP or less $19,995 sale price minus one. Check engine. So many things can go wrong with your car. That's why Pep Boys invented one place that can make them all right. Check tires. Right now, Manny, Moe, and Jack present the Pep Boys Spring Tire Event. Buy one tire starting at the incredible low price of $29.99.

3:45:29Buy any two installed tires and get a free oil change. A free oil change. Or buy any three installed tires and get the fourth tire free. After mail-in rebate, buy three, get the fourth tire free. Both offers exclude Cornell. See store for details. Through Sunday, get a do-it-yourself Valvoline oil change with Fram Filter, only $16.99. That's five quarts and filter, just $16.99. Call 1-800-PEP-BOYS or visit pepboys.com. September 23rd. Wedding anniversary. Next Tuesday, karate tournament. Saturday, 7.15 a.m., pancakes with dad. Sundown, June 5th, local wildlife sanctuary celebrates owl night. Our schedules are very much our own. And with so much going on, shouldn't there be more flexibility on when you make your monthly mortgage payment? At Wells Fargo, when you want a mortgage with a payment plan that runs on your schedule that also has low interest rates, we're with you. That's why we've created automatic mortgage payment choices through the Wells Fargo Preferred Payment Plan.

3:46:33a free service available with any of our mortgages. Our automatic mortgage payment choices allow you to divide your mortgage payments to better match your pay cycle. Schedule free and automatic withdrawals weekly, biweekly, semi-monthly, or monthly. Plus, there are options that allow you to pay down your mortgage and reduce the total interest over the life of your mortgage. Call, click, or stop by Wells Fargo today. Just make sure it won't conflict with Owl Night. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. Wells Fargo Home Mortgage, a division of Wells Fargo Bank N.A., is an equal housing lender. Grow your hair thicker, stronger, longer, and faster. Guaranteed with Ovation Cell Therapy. Ovation is awesome. My hairdresser says my hair has grown an inch and a half in 30 days. Never happened before. No more extensions for me. Ovation really works. With just a simple cream rinse application, your hair can be healthy again. Log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM 94.9 at checkout for a special discount. That's OvationHair.com and enter FM 94.9 at checkout for real results guaranteed. Ovation works. Ovation customers tell their stories best. I love Ovation. Hyperthyroidism caused me to lose a third of my long blonde hair. With Ovation, my hair is growing twice as fast.

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3:49:08gets you a new 2010 Bob Baker Subaru Forester 2.5X model AFA for only $199 plus tax a month. And your new Bob Baker Subaru Forester for only $199 a month is not light on equipment with power windows, power locks, ABS braking, and symmetrical all-wheel drive. It's just like unit number 758155, but Bob Baker Subaru El Cajon has many Foresters to choose from. 42-month closed-end lease with $1,999 due at lease signing, no security deposit, 10,000 miles per year, 15 cents per mile in excess on approved credit. It's Bob Baker Subaru, two blocks west of Parkway Plaza, El Cajon, or anytime at bakersubaru.com. The Bob Baker Auto Group, where it's so nice to be nice. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Uh, I can't do anything. I can't do anything handy at all. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Get Lauren. I will take like a half an hour to get out of bed and be like, no. Deanna. Tagalongs. And Jay. Of course, I have an outrageous story. On FM 94.9. Maybe. You do a little curveball. This is a shout out dedication to a beautiful young lady in Texas who is.

3:50:38Watching dudes load our moving truck right now. You're a good wife, Jamie. A great wife. Are we getting shout-outs right now? I'd like to give a shout-out. This is FM 94.9. It's my brother's birthday tomorrow. We were going to call him and do the happy birthday. Brad? Brad, how old? Brad. 24. He'll be 24 tomorrow. Brad likes cougars. He does. Real good. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. I didn't know your brother like the older one. He's a cougar slayer. I think he's just a fan of women overall. Happy birthday, baby brother. Happy birthday, brother. Let's see. And Jenna. Happy birthday to Jenna. Yeah, they have the same birthday. That's tomorrow? No, on Saturday the 24th. Your daughter. She's going to be nine. There you go. Would you guys rather have to always walk around with little small stones in your shoes or always have smoke in your eyes?

3:51:45Really? Stones in my shoes. Stones, yeah. Smoke in my eyes. Smoke in my... I'll take smoke in my eyes. Oh, no way. I couldn't... I couldn't handle... Stones. Ooh. What about the... The smoke is so irritating. Feels delicious. Feels great. Smells delicious. It doesn't feel great to me and it would be annoying to me, but I can't step on little stones, dude. Mm-mm. No. The little tiny sensitive feet you have? Oh, yeah. My little tiny little boots? Yeah. Like two little pebbles inside your little boots. Yeah, two little pebbles in my little pebbles. Bring it on. Really? Yeah. She's used to it. I walk around barefoot all the time. I do too. Is your deal that you are very, like your eyes are real sensitive and you're just like, yeah. Uber sensitive. How about you, Sienna? My eyes are very sensitive. What would you do, Jay? Jay's busy. Take a nap. Take a nap. Jay would do the stones. Stones. Yeah. Stones. He hates stones. He hates smoke. He hates smoke. What? I'll punch you. And you like to go camping and stuff. I'm surprised. Well, you know. He makes smokeless fires. Yeah, he makes smokeless fires. I can always move out of the way. He knows the right type of vine to put into the fire so it won't smoke. Well, we went to Benihana. Jay was downwind from the smoke. Remember that? It was like the one Benihana table where the vent didn't work that well. I know. He was sizzling up those onions and it was like...

3:53:06I was crying the whole time, and he was like, oh, look, I make it go really high. I know, I make a volcano. Yeah, I'm like, great, thanks for the steam in my face. I smash an egg on the ground. Yeah, you're like, great. I can't see anything. M1 Cindy, hi. Hey, what's up? What's up? I'm actually having a birthday on the 24th this Saturday, and my 14-year wedding anniversary was yesterday, so I was wondering if you guys can send me a happy birthday. Yeah, we can. Of course we can. Are you ready, Cindy? I'm ready. All right, we stop after our second happy birthday to you, and we let Falsetto Guy do it. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. And happy anniversary. I love that. I love your show. Thank you very much. Thank you. That's the worst thing ever. Oh, I love it. I love it. It makes me come out of my skin, and yet...

3:54:22I love it at the same time. Would you rather live to be 150 or live to be only 50 but never have your body age past 25? 150. You would want to live to be 150? Absolutely. No. No way. You're dead at 50. You're dead in 10 years. Cool. Then, no, and then the other way, you got a hundred more. Think about all the surfing on the internet you can do. No, no, no, no, no. Think about all the people you would lose that you would just say bye to. It's like Huck Everlasting. Yes. See everybody that. I didn't even think of that aspect of it. It's just like Huck Everlasting. Huck. Is it Tuck? Huck. I think it's Tuck. It's a total girl movie. It's Tuck Everlasting. Mikey knows it. What is it? I don't know. It's something with the girl from the Gilmore Girls. Pepper's out. It's like Huckleberry Finn. They drink from, like, the fountain of youth, and they never die, and then they see everyone else die. It's sad. I watched that when I was, like, 12, I think. I read the book in fourth grade. It's like Snuck Everlasting. It's like 100 more years of blasting cigs. It's like Snuckleberry Finn. Amazing. Snuckleberry Finn. Mikey, did you see that movie? No. Oh? I didn't. Okay. Would you rather have to fight off a charging elephant?

3:55:42While you're armed with only a bow and 20 well-made, very sharp arrows. Or while you're armed with just five long, sturdy spears. Can you repeat the question? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Do you rather have to fight off a charging elephant while you're armed with only a bow and 20 well-made, very sharp arrows. Or while you're armed with just five long, sturdy spears. Spears. Spears. Kid's got a good arm. Britney Spears. I got a hose. With a spear, you could just squat down and arch it up, and it will just run into it. I saw 300. Exactly. Yeah. Is that what it does? Yeah. See? I can throw a spear for the life of me. Yeah, I ain't doing no bow. I'll take the spear. Bow and arrow and poke my eye out. Yeah, none of us. We'd all shoot ourselves in the eye with a bow and arrow. Just bow and arrow. The arrow would fall to the ground. Of course it would. Except if you missed and you were on all fours with the spear sticking out, you would get trampled. No way. Haven't you guys ever played Zelda? We'd all be good. No. What's the matter, Cubs? Never mind, Zelda. I know Zelda. I'm thinking of Kid Icarus. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Again? Oh, my God. How many times in one day can you miss? Oh, my God. She can't come up with what she wants to say.

3:57:04Are you on new medication? I think so. I've got a lot on my mind, okay? Yeah. I'm moving. I don't have a place to live. I forget my first name all the time. I'm like blown away. I know. I said the other day, I said, Lauren thinks up new ways to be wrong every day. I don't think them up. They just come out. I need to turn the filter on. I'm at work here. She's like, remember that show with Ross and Rachel? It was called Buds. Buds. Pals. Yes, Pals. You guys remember Pals? Remember that episode of Pals? Yeah, it took place in Minneapolis. Companions. And they always hung out in a bar. Yeah, and he would go, hey. We were on a breakup. Remember? Is that kooky character Phyllis? Phyllis, yeah. Phyllis. That's great. Oh, gosh. Remember Happy Nights? With Bonzi? These Happy Nights are mine and yours. Yes. With Bonzi. And Bonzi would look in the mirror and come his hair and he'd go, Ooh. Ooh. Idiot. Remember Full Apartment? Uncle Joseph. From Uncle Joseph on that show. Davey Tanner, right? Full Apartment is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

3:58:35Full apart. That was great. Oh, man. Hillary just came in. Hi, Hill. Hi, Hill. How are you? Can you tell that we need a vacation? How about OR? You guys are going on one, right? We've cracked up. OR. OR. Genius. With George Booney. Remember Booney? Jim Juney. Yeah, Jim Juney. Oh, I could do this all day. On OR. Dying. I'm an idiot. So this is what it's like to be Lauren. Remember who's the co-worker? Who's the co-worker? I just got that. Who's the boss? Remember Boozy Houser? Remember Boozy Houser, gynecological, whatever? I forget. OBGYN. Do you guys remember that show? It was Boozy Houser, OBGYN. There was one on HBO called The Falsettos. No, it was called The Baritones. What do you got coming up, Hill? I got all kinds of good stuff. Digo. Digo. Digo. Digo. Digo. Digo. Digo. Digo. Oh, my God. It's contagious. What is wrong with everyone? I was thinking I'm going to play Rogue Wave, so that was a combination of Digo and Rogue Wave. Yeah, it's actually not Rogue Wave. It's Tsunami. Angry Tsunami.

4:00:03Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Gyros. And the Nirvana song that Muse covered a little bit of at Coachella. We were walking through the crowd when Muse was playing. And all of a sudden, well, you have to listen. I heard this, yeah, this riff. And I went, that's Nirvana. They're playing Nirvana right now. It was so kind of out of nowhere. But I'll play the song they cover. Nice. Awesome. Well, lovely and talented Hillary is up next. Get some time off. We will see you soon. The Mikey Show is out. Financial media station. About the music all day and night. FM 94.9. It's about the music.