The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/03/10

3:09I feel refreshed. Feel back. Feel refreshed. It's a Mikey show. Welcome to it. We're having difficulty with my microphone. Weird. Weird. Right? But we're going to get it all dialed in. So I may sound different. But the only reason I do is because it's not my normal mic. But we'll get it dialed in. And I'll sound back to my chipper self. Welcome, everybody. Everybody feeling refreshed? It's good to be back. I love it. I do too. I love it. It feels good to be back. And you can call us. 570-1949 is our number. And you can text us too. 949mikey at gmail.com. We were out all last week on vacation. And we were doing the best of. And now we're back and ready to go. Ready to talk to you. So give us a call.

4:14In fact, there was a lot of stuff that happened that went down when we were gone. Let me real quickly introduce everybody on the show. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 39 years old for a few more days, and I'm turning 40 at the end of the month. What a boy. Big 4-0. 4-0. Doesn't seem right. I still think of myself as a kid. I hear you. Because you guys both are. I know. My wife asked me on vacation, how do you feel about turning 40? I said, I like it because I think that it gives me a certain cachet in the industry. It does. And she said, what do you mean? I said, well, first of all, I'm using the word cachet. It's a great word. Just very adult. Only 40-year-olds use it. Only 40-year-olds use the word cachet. But I feel like I represent all the dudes in radio that I used to think of when I was younger. They were in their 40s. So I'm like, okay, cool. I'm graduating into that class, even though inwardly I'm still a child. I'm the host of the show. Woodsy is our sports guy, and he's 34. Pepper O'Brien is the blonde girl sitting to my right who moved during the break. Sure did. Lauren is now in a new place, and so we'll be talking about that and finding out. I don't even know all the details, so I want to.

5:38Me neither. It's been very hush-hush. Yeah. It has. Well, she was out of pocket, man. During the break, she kind of disengaged or whatever. Yeah, I was still a little unconnected internet-wise. Yeah. Woodsy's all moved in. We'll talk about that. His wife is now out here. Yay. And the doggies. And then the doggies. Five of them. Team Woods, baby. That's right. Team Woods. Team Woods is here. Watch out. Sienna's our news girl. She's 25. I'm going to find out what happened with you, what you did over the break, and we'll talk about that in a little bit. And then Jay Bird, I know he went to Mexico and went surfing. Oh, yeah. He is our producer. He's 46 years of age, and a guy surfs like a maniac. He knows what's up. Yeah, he does. So we'll talk about all of it in your phone calls. An M1, by the way, is a Mikey Show listener. When you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, don't cuss. That's what makes you an M1. M1 dog baits on the line. What's up, dude? Nothing. I just want to say I missed you guys and welcome back. Thank you. Thank you very much. Many blessings to you this week. Thank you, bro. Thank you. Glad to be back. Very glad to be back. I went to the place my wife and I got Maui'd. We went to Maui. Wow. I'll use it every once in a while. I'll pull that one out of the closet and dust it off.

7:02Never worked before, so I figured, you know what, maybe just keep trying it. Sure. And eventually it'll happen. Made us laugh at you. So we went to Maui, and of all places, right, we go to Maui, and I run into one of the other morning guys that works here in the building. What? So crazy. He was out there for a broadcast. One of the coolest cats just spent time talking to him out at the pool. That's crazy. Just a really nice guy. I went to the printer this morning, and I saw it said on the top that it was in Maui, and it said something about the broadcast, and I thought, is Mikey doing a secret broadcast? No. Behind our back. What is this? I was not. He's trying out his new show. I was not. Maui broadcast, like April 27th or something like that. I'm like, wait a second. I was looking all over the hotel. I'm looking all over the hotel for this other morning show. I don't see them, and the reason is because it's three hours behind. Yeah. And so they would have had to broadcast from three in the morning to seven in the morning. So they didn't. You know, they and I think they said that, you know, they just pre-recorded stuff and it was really. But eventually my wife and I were sitting out at the pool and I look over. I'm like, that's Mike Vasquez. Solid. And so I wave at him and him and his wife came over and we talked to him for a while. It was really cool. Adam Sandler was staying at our hotel. Really? Yeah. Oh, man. And I ran into him.

8:30I did. Did you talk to him? I did. I was so nervous. I just said hi. That's all I could say was hi. He's so jealous. Well, it was so weird. Oh, hello there, Mikey. Exactly. Hello, Mikey. Hippity-doo. Hippity-dippity-doo. We're walking through the hotel, and we go through their, like, rec area where they've got a pool table and stuff. Uh-huh. And this strange thing happens in your mind. If you go to high school with somebody and you're walking through the mall and you see him at the mall, you go, oh, I know that guy. And so you wave. I waved instinctively. Instinctively. I did that when I saw Usher. Isn't that weird? Yes. I thought I explained it the exact same way. Because your brain tells you, oh, I know him. I know them, yeah. He was holding his daughter at the pool table and he was talking to this guy. And I walk by and I see him and I wave. And immediately I go. Before my hand comes down, I go, that's Adam Sandler. Do you know how many times he's gotten that, though? Of course. I guarantee everyone does it. It's weird our brains do do that. It's so bizarre. And so my wife goes, yeah, that was Adam Sandler. And so we walk about 50 more feet, and he finished his conversation, and he kept walking. And so eventually he passes me. My wife goes into the...

9:55to the little workout room. He's really fast. Yeah, he finished his conversation. He comes and he passes by and I see him and I go, hi, Adam. Oh, no. Oh, Mike. Right. And he had his daughter. What did he say? He turned around and he goes, oh, hey. Oh, Emily. What are you doing? What are you doing? And I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to say. So I just said hi. That's all I said. And he kind of had that look like, are you done? Are you done? Because he didn't want to be rude. And I didn't know what to say. So he went into the spa. I was going to the spa. Weird. Very weird. Weird. Oh, gosh. And so I follow him in. And he goes, I'm here for the super massage. And everybody laughs. Oh, wow. Have you ever interviewed him before? No. You know why? Why?

10:53I think he's probably as A-list as it gets, right? Yeah, dude. He's way up there. Isn't he? Yeah. Have you, Sienna? No, but you've interviewed a lot of A-list people. He's, like, my number one that I would love to meet. Really? He was really nice, Lauren. So, I mean, that's the good news. He was so nice. He was a really nice person. I met his, like, left-wing guy, Rob Schneider. He was there, too. Really? Yeah. Wow. That's, like, the closest I've got. And I, like, kind of geeked out. And I went up to him and was like, look, I know this is going to happen. I know. He came into the place I was working on New Year's Eve and the girl I was working with goes, that looks like Deuce Bigelow. And I looked over and I'm like, oh my gosh, that is him. It is Deuce Bigelow. I watched it yesterday, by the way. Deuce Bigelow? He was so nice. I went up to him and I talked to him about my comedy career and he gave me pointers and everything. That's awesome. Yeah, he was awesome. They were filming a movie out there in Maui. Here's who was at the hotel. Sandler, Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Aniston, Deuce Bigelow. They're all in the same movie, I take it. Yeah.

12:02Isn't that where Happy Madison, I think it might be out of Hawaii. Are you confusing two movies? No, that's his production company. She's right. That's the name of his production company? It's Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison. I thought you made a mistake. Weird. She's on point. But I think this could be wrong. I thought it was based in Hawaii. I don't know. But he was there and he was nice. That's awesome. Hello. So we're going down the elevator, right? He's standing on the same floor. Which was really weird because on my Mac, I opened my Mac up and I had to open my wireless connection. Uh-huh. And. Weird. What is happening? Weird. You two girls come around. I got to show you because I already showed. I sent this. I saw it, but I didn't get a good look. I opened my wireless connection. Oh, God. And I see this on my wireless connection. How weird is that? So cool. How weird. Did you get a picture of it? Yeah, so I can show you. So you could have connected to his computer? Well, you'd get arrested if you did. But yeah, so it says Adam Sandler. Oh my gosh. For a wireless connection. He didn't even give himself like a fake name. I don't think he ever thought of it because it's his computer. Right, but that's just funny. But I had the same thought. I'm like, would it really say that? Wouldn't it say like, you know. Right.

13:29Josh McKeever. Sounds like he's super down to earth. He's like, it's my name. Yeah. Why wouldn't it be called Adam Sandler? So we're getting on the elevator to go down, and he had this big, giant suite. And so they brought this big cart, and it had all these big, giant, fresh flowers on it, and they're bringing it to his suite. And they knock on his door, and as they're knocking, we're hitting the button for the elevator. We get in the elevator. And as our doors are starting to close, he opens the door to his suite and we hear him go, hello. Just like that. And I go, and the elevator closes. And I say to my wife, I go, does he have to do the weird? And she goes, babe, that's how he talks. That's always on. So he talks. He's playing himself for the day. It's him. Yeah. Well, like some people. I know, like, my dad has schtick, you know what I mean? Some people just have their schtick. That's their schtick. Yeah. So the door opened, there's the people, and he, oh, hello. Hello. Hello. That is so great. I thank you. That's how you are. That is awesome. That's so cool. Very relaxed. Very relaxed. Feel completely rejuvenated. The last six months were, you know, pretty tough emotionally and just.

14:48Mentally, the whole deal. It was just a tough six months. So for us to get out there and actually sleep, Rebecca, my wife, built a puzzle. And she worked on that puzzle. And she said it was the greatest mental thing. Really? Oh, yeah. She didn't think about anything. I have to stick a hot poker in my eye. Me too. The puzzles are so relaxing. Oh, yeah. She did a puzzle of Jiminy Cricket. Did you guys get a picture? No, I suppose we should have. Dude, I would lose my mind. Yeah. Doing a puzzle. While you're in Hawaii? That was her form of relaxation. She asked, she said, she called down, she goes, when we came in, I noticed there was puzzles, like, around the front desk. She goes, can I have one? And they were like, yeah. So they brought a puzzle. And she worked on that thing. Like I'd wake up at two in the morning. There's my wife in the room building a puzzle. She's like, this is for my son. Yeah, exactly. I wouldn't do that. Mike, I have a question. Yeah. How many days did you go to the spa? We'd went every day. Oh my gosh. You know that. And I told her, you know what I told her? I said, next time we come on vacation, I don't want to do that. Yeah, right. I really don't. I don't want to do it. And she agreed. What? I'll tell you why. Because our days.

16:03could have been much better spent. Like, we found that our days were kind of blown. You have to plan around your appointments and stuff. We planned around the appointment, and we didn't need it that much. Yeah. We thought we did. We thought before we went, oh, you know what? That'll be a really great thing every day. We didn't. In fact, I said half of that. I said, I think if we did half that, it would be great. Every other day. What do you do when you go into those places? What did you get done? Manny Petty. Relaxing massage. Yeah, relaxing massage. Facial. And facial. You look great. You look dynamite. Did you get the redheaded special? Yeah, well, no, I didn't get the redheaded special. That was only my first spa experience ever. Yeah, you were very worried that your regular masseuse that you went to the year before, she wasn't going to be there. Was she there? She was there. So you did. She was the same girl. Made friends with her. Good. Made friends with her. I'm sure. Spa music. I got a massage too. You did? Did you? Yeah, but it sucked because I'm pregnant and apparently there's all these pressure points that they can't touch, which are exactly where I'm sore. And so they just barely touched. And I was like, come on. Who knew? I know.

17:16This one's called Deep Bamboo, guys. Beautiful. If you want to know, it's called Deep Bamboo. This is like what I brush my teeth to. Yeah, it is. That's what she wakes up to. That's what her alarm clock sounds like. Yeah, exactly. This is her doorbell. This is Lauren's doorbell. It's going to be a great day. Honey, can you get the door? I think somebody's ringing the doorbell again. It was a very relaxing time. I'm still very self-conscious. I put on a robe. I know it. Keep everything under the covers? Yeah, I do. I keep everything under the covers, Lauren. It skeeves me out. Oh, dude, let me tell you. It skeeves me out. Woodsy, a massage feels good, okay? But when you put on a robe and slippers, oh, you feel so effeminate. It makes me feel very pornish. Dude. I don't know why.

18:14I feel like you should have a big bushy mustache. I feel like I'm walking to an adult film shoot. Just because everyone knows that you're naked over there, you know? I feel like the way that Mike would wear his rub, he would have it all closed up tight. I do. And then Woods would be like, hey man. Funny that you mention that because we moved. And I found my robe, my New York Yankees robe. But I couldn't find the string, the tie string. So I'm walking around in just my robe and boxers. For like days. Outside blasting a cig, watching the dogs. And it's just wide open. In your new house. In my new house, my new neighbors. And you're being inappropriate. So great. And my gray sinooks. Those slippers. Nice. What a mental picture. I'm so self-conscious. I'll walk around the hotel room and I don't have any clothes on and I feel like a pervert. I feel like a pervert. It's so weird. I know, but I'm like...

19:18I'm walking around. I'm like, this is okay. This is okay. It's not okay. Whenever I'm in a hotel room, I feel like no one can see me, even though there's a huge window. And I'm always changing right in front of the window. Todd's like, get away from the window. Dude, our new house has, I don't know, 8,000 windows. Everywhere I walked, I was like, ah! We're looking inside. Wait, what were you like? Ah! Oh, my gosh. That's good. I'm like, oh. So I got another one for you. This is a pretty good story. Another story for you. So my wife and I go to this shopping center. And I look like a dork, you know? Why? Well, I took a pair of cargo shorts. Michael! I know! How did you do that? I'll tell you why I took the cargo shorts. Because I don't have enough normal shorts yet. So I had one pair. I know. I have two pair of normal shorts. It sucks. So I took these cargo shorts, and I look like a dork. I have on a tank top. Wait, wait, wait. It's the workout tank top. Do you know what I'm talking about? I know it doesn't. But I'm like, listen, no one sees me here.

20:35You met Jennifer Aniston. No. Were you wearing Teva sandals too? I was not. Fanny pack? Might as well have been wearing socks with clocks. Socks and clocks. A visor and a fanny pack. Right? So we go to this mall and it's a fancy mall. We walk in there and it's fancy. And I feel self-conscious because I look like who I am. Just a dork. Yeah. So we walk in and I see this beautiful watch in a window. It's beautiful. OK, and I go and it's got a rubber. The band of it is black rubber. And I'm like, that's a rubber band. Maybe I can afford this. Yeah. So I walk in and I feel like a jerk going into this place anyway because it's fancy. And here comes bald Mexican guy. Tank top guy. Yeah. Greasy face. Tank top. Fresh out of a facial. Yeah. Fresh out of a face. Greasy face. Oh, wow. And I walk in there and I walk up to the guy behind who's sharp. Oh, yeah. Business suit. Handsome. He looks great. And I walk up to him and in my head I'm like, don't know that I'm low class. Don't know that I'm low class. Don't know that I'm low class. Because I look ridiculous. Standing in there. In my flip flops. They're used to it though. I guess so. I guess they're used to it. Don't judge me. Don't judge me. Don't judge me. So I go.

22:01there's a beautiful watch in the window. I'd like to take a look at it. And I'm trying my best to sound like I belong there and I don't. Right. And so he goes and he gets it and he brings it out and it's $1,400. I'm like, holy cow. Wow. Wow, for a rubber band. For a rubber watch. Yeah. But it's gorgeous. And so I'm like thinking, how can I rearrange money, appropriate? And I'm like, I'm going to have to go without forever. Like, because I get an allowance for my wife. Nice. I have her put me, she does the money. I say, put me on an allowance. And I'm like, I'm not going to get an allowance forever. But I'm like appropriating it. And then we had a little bit of spending money put aside. And I'm like trying to figure out in my head how I can do this. So I tell the guy, I'm going to think about it. I know. I'm going to think about it. Never. Exactly. All he wanted to do is just be like, I'll take it. I'll take it. Surprise him. Well, the good news for him is.

23:08In my head, I decided I'm getting it. Nice. Okay, I'm getting it. I'm going to have to figure out how because that's the most money for a watch in the world. Yeah. But I'm like, whatever. I'll figure it out. So we're right about to leave. And he goes, you know what? He goes, let me show you something else. He goes, do you like Rolex? And I'm trying to pretend that I'm, you know, yeah, of course. Who doesn't? Who doesn't? Yeah, of course. So he goes, I might actually have a Rolex. that is, comes in a little lower than this price point. And I'm like, oh my gosh. So I walk over and he's showing me these Rolex and he brings out this particular one. It's beautiful. He goes, this one actually comes in at 9,000. I'm sorry. Say again. That's a little bit more. It's a little more. And I said, how much is it? He goes, $14,000. Oh, no. For the rubber? When he said $14,000, I assumed it was $1,400. Oh, wow. And my wife goes like this. She couldn't even hold it. She couldn't even hold it. She couldn't even hold it. She goes, dude. And I go, oh. See you later. Bye-bye. Oh, my gosh. I tucked my tail between my legs. Yeah. Ran. And we ran right out of that store. $14,000.

24:33And then randomly throughout the rest of the vacation, just randomly, we'd be sitting there and it'd be completely silent. And I would go, 14,000. And she would laugh. Wow. And she went, what if he hadn't said to you, do you want to take a look at this? I want to come back in there like a big shot. Yeah. Like a big shot. Yeah, go ahead and wrap that puppy up for me. And he'd have gone, okay, and rung it up. He would have handed you the receipt. And he would have said, well, he would have said that, you know, with tax, that comes to $14,300, whatever. It would have been like $15,000 by that point. And I'd have gone. What do you do then? Take it back. Humiliated, I would have had to say, oh, I didn't realize. Yeah. Oh, Michael. Sir, your credit card has been declined. Yeah. Seriously. Wow. Or you go home and explain to your wife why you just charged 15 grand for a rubber watch. I'm like, that's a car. Yeah, for sure. It's a car. Ridiculous. It was the most humiliating. How about you guys? Sienna, where did you go? I went to Puerto Vallarta. Oh, was it your friend's wedding? Yeah. Was it good? Yes. I got something to tell you about that, by the way. What?

25:43Well, I read on CNN, it was a destination wedding, right? Yeah, yeah. Headline on CNN reads, destination weddings annoy friends. That was the headline. The thing is, is like it was at one of those resorts. It was really, it was a really nice resort. But once you get there, it's all inclusive. You know, you don't even have to tip. Meals are paid for. All you can drink. Yeah. And it tasted like it, you know. Really? It was gross? Oh, Todd. Like a piece of bread and like that was it he was done and he was sick I went to a place like that once and the milk tasted all Raw. It's goat milk. Yeah, it tastes like it came right out of the goat seat. Oh, man. Yeah. But I mean, it's just I felt like I was at spring break, you know, and I'm pregnant and I was like, I'll take another seven up, please. Oh, and hot, right? Yeah. And then I would order like a daiquiri or something. Seen alcohol, no alcohol. And they would give me with alcohol because who orders no alcohol, you know? And I would have my friends had to test it all. Oh, man. Yeah. That is nuts. I would.

26:50You couldn't get me anywhere near the humid with the hot. Yeah, but I was in the wedding. I had to go. It's one of my best friends. I mean, the wedding itself was really nice. I want to hear about Lauren and Woodsy and Jay and what you guys did too. 570-1949 is our number. And you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Sienna's picking the music today, Outkast. Those are parts. Call us up, say hi. A lot of stuff happened when we were gone. The Geezer Bandit's back. How about that bomb scare in Times Square? Crazy if you haven't heard about it. Fill you all in. Don't go away. I like that tune. Aerosmith. Are you guys envisioning his daughter? Always. What's her name? Alicia Silverstone. What movie? The video. She was in the video.

28:12Very foxy. They looked good. Both of them were so hot. But it's weird that his daughter played that role. Yeah. She was stoked, I bet. Yeah, there's a level of creepiness to that, right? Yeah, for sure. So, Woodsy, you came back from Dallas. Yeah. Got all moved in. I wouldn't say all moved in. No? Let's just say moved in. It's still a process. Dude, yeah. Thanks forever. You know, we really thought about getting home and just attacking it. with gusto and uh vigor and then we decided now we're just going to take our time because we haven't gotten to hang out a lot yeah so we unpacked the kitchen the first night took about four hours oh it took forever and um i need help from the m1s too what do i do with my boxes

29:01That's a good question. Where do I put them? Does anybody know? Put them on Craigslist for free. I'll get like 100 calls. Okay. Because I need to get rid of a ton of boxes. So we did that, and then we're like, you know, the movers put everything together, and we're like, we just wanted to hang out. We watched a ton of movies. We hung out. The drive out here was kind of maddening, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. How often did the babies have to go to the bathroom? Dude, they're so good. They're so good. Like, they went when we stopped. Four little Yorkies. You just, whenever you stopped, they were fine? They were fine. We would take them out, you know, one at a time or two at a time and let them go and then put them back in the car. Dude, it was really, for me, where nothing really goes very smoothly, it was so smooth. That's cool. So smooth. I ended up getting a flat tire when we moved into our house, so I had to deal with that headache. But other than that, dude, it's been dynamite. Yeah. And having the wife here and the dogs in our house is amazing. We love it so much. And we're just like, we just look at each other and laugh. That's awesome. We're like, really? This is our bit now? That's hysterical. I love it. It was awesome. I wanted to come back with all these great stories of these crazy things that happened to us. But, dude, smooth sailing. That's good. It was great. Atypical. It was very an atypical move for us.

30:20Lauren, what about you? You moved too. I did. I moved. It was a beating. Was it? It was horrible. You have a small car too. I rented a U-Haul. And the thing about where I used to live was kind of like urban. And so you park where you find an open spot. And so I had to park the U-Haul across the street. And I live on the second floor. I lived on the second floor. And every time you go out the building, it locks behind you. And the guys that were moving the furniture had to literally wait for traffic to stop. Oh, my gosh. It was like, I can't. It was so heavy. My poor brother was like. helping out too. And he's like, I just worked out yesterday and I didn't know how heavy the stuff was. Well, yeah. I mean, moving isn't annoying enough. You have to cross the street. You have to cross the street. Moving a corn husk bed is, I mean, it's tough. Because you've got to put it back together. Sure. The stalks are poking you and everything. The wheat sheets and everything. I mean, it's just crazy. No, I had the heaviest couches known to man. Like, we had to take...

31:25The door off the hinges. Oh, no. Unscrew the legs off the couch just so it would fit. It's my nightmare. That is my nightmare. He was going up the stairs, and he's like, can you get behind me? He's like, I'm pretty sure I might fall back. Oh, that's awful. That's my nightmare. Whenever you have to do the, hey, let's take the door off the fridge to get it in, you're like, I'll buy a new fridge. I'll use dry ice. You're like, you know what? Leave it. How about that? I'll sit on the floor. I'll sit on the floor. But packing, it took me literally like a week to get everything together, cleaned, packed, everything. But then when I unpacked, it's taken me like a day or two. It's so much better. Well, here's the other thing. I just thought... As you were talking, I'm like, and she's so organized. Yeah. Can you imagine how meticulous, how meticulous this move must have been? Every time I pack a suitcase or I move or everything, I yell at myself in my head. I'm like, stop being anal. Yeah. Just put it in the box. But I have to like separate everything out and like Tetris it in the box and then like label everything to a T. Yeah. Are you done? Are you finished moving? Not totally, completely set up.

32:38But everything's pretty much in, and it looks like a livable house. Yeah. What's your new address? You don't worry about that. Jaybird, how about you? How was Mexico and surfing in Mexico? It was insane. It was so fun. We had some huge days of surf, and then we had a couple days that were blown out. I actually ended up coming home about a day early. How big were the waves? You know, they were probably a few feet overhead. I mean, it wasn't as big as we wanted it to be for sure. You know, I wanted it to be, you know, double overhead and just, you know, charging. Really? I did. But, man, my arms, I can barely lift my arms. They're so sore. From paddling? From paddling. And I've got places just sort of rashed raw on my legs. Really? Just sitting on my board for, you know, because we surf four or five hours at a time. Wow. Oh, my God. It was brutal. How'd your son do, Jay? He did great. It was amazing. I was a little worried because Finn was into surfing this last summer. And then he was like, that's when we did the trip and signed up and everything. And then immediately when I bought the trip for him, he stopped surfing. So then we got him a new board. Still no surfing. So he got there and he laid in the water for the first day. And I thought, oh, great. Here's all this money spent. He's a lazy bum. But then all of a sudden he just started dropping in on waves. We got some pictures and he's just dropping in on the biggest bomb of the wave. Oh, my gosh. Such a proud papa. Yeah, it was more of a father-son trip because there was a bunch of guys there. It was like.

34:02Just friends. The dudes. So he blended in nicely. 5701949 is our number. 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to call or if you want to text us. I want to know what happened at Times Square. You probably do too if you don't know. Bomb scare at Times Square. Geezer Bandit is back. Want to tell you about that. So we've got a lot of stuff that we want to fill you in on. But first, the winner of the MVP in basketball. Got 116 first place votes. Second highest number was four. And we'll tell you who that is in just a second in Woods on Sports. What do you got, Woodsy? Well, we were on vacation, so we missed talking about the Chargers draft. So we definitely want to make sure we talk about that later today because they got some...

34:52It was an interesting draft for the Chargers, and I'll leave it at that, and we'll talk more about it later. But this was a huge weekend in sports. You had the Kentucky Derby, the Mayweather-Mosley fight, the NBA and NHL playoffs. But first things first, San Diego Padres are in first place, Mike. How about that? They have won 13 out of their last 16 games. They're doing it with pitching. And then the other great thing that they did, they had three shutouts out of the last four games where they shut the other team out. They didn't even score any runs. Of course, the one game I go to, Saturday night, they lose 2-1. Really? Yeah. No more games for you. They've won 13 of 16. They are a half game up in first place. It's absolutely phenomenal. Get out to Petco the next three nights. The Rockies are in town. They're division rivals. Get out there and support your Padres, man. For sure. They are looking phenomenal. And also, Mike, we talked about it in the open. LeBron James has won his second consecutive MVP award in the NBA. It was a landslide. He had 116 first place votes. That's amazing. Number two, Kevin Garnett. Four votes. Amazing. Dominance. 116 to four. It's dominance. It's crazy, man. Well, now, you know, the big thing for LeBron is he wants a title.

36:06He wants a title, and he's trying to lead his team to a title. They're looking good so far. They lead those nasty Celtics 1-0 in the series. I think the next game, maybe tonight or tomorrow. You say nasty in a good way or a bad way? No, I mean bad. They're from Boston. Oh, please. And I was bummed out this weekend. I didn't get to see the Mayweather-Mosley fight because I was really looking forward to seeing some of that because I watched some highlights of this Mayweather guy. Ridiculous. I have no idea what happened in that fight. I want to know. Floyd Mayweather, he remains unbeaten. He beats Sugar Shane Mosley in a lopsided unanimous decision. But he is now 41-0. Oh, wow. This is the guy that talks about himself in the third person. Yeah, yeah. He's like the kid. Which I love. Yeah, which I love too. It's hysterical. I love him. Actually, here he is talking about his victory. Cut one. Wait a minute. Where am I? Here we go. I was looking for the knockout. I was pressing the tag this fight. You know, counterpunching going to the body. I mean, I wasn't moving the whole fight. So, you know, like I said before, I'm just trying to bring the fans, the new Floyd Mayweather, you know, giving the fans their money's worth. I got hit with some big shots, but only the strong survive. You know, that happens in the sport of boxing. But as you can see, I can give it and take it. And when he gets done with boxing, he's going to be an auctioneer. That's right. And you guys know the name Calvin Burrell.

37:26Ring any bells? If you don't, you should. This guy's the Michael Jordan. He's the pre-sex camp Tiger Woods of horse racing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He won the kid a lot of money a couple years ago in the Kentucky Derby. He's a trainer? No, no. He's a jockey. He's a jockey. He's a jockey. He won the Kentucky Derby for the third time in four years. It's unprecedented. He and Super Saver was the horse, I think. The favorite was look at Lucky, and he finished sixth. I saw it all over the news. Super saver, super saver. Yep. Does someone of that level come to the track here? I don't think so. In Del Mar? No, I don't think so. I don't know. I don't know. All I know is this guy is, next year when he races, he's already said, and you'll hear it right now, let's play cut two. Let's hear Calvin Burrell talking about the victory. No jockey in the history of horse racing has ever won three of four derbies consecutively. What is your secret? We've got to keep that to ourselves, baby. Oh, he sounds like a jockey. I love it. He just said, I'm going to win the Triple Crown this year.

38:40I thought he said chupacabra. Yeah. So did I. Sounds like a leprechaun. That is the craziest. Did you see any highlights from the derby? I didn't, dude. It was the muddiest, nastiest thing you have ever seen. And all these broads walking around in their huge hats and their fancy dresses and boots because the mud was like a foot thick. So gross. And they raced it and you watched it. I watched it biting my nails because I just knew somebody was going to die. Oh, my God. Somebody was going to be riding. The horse was going to slip. And they're going to die. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. And it was crazy. And then finally, the Boston Red Sox are swept by the Orioles, who are the worst team in baseball. So they're like in fifth place. So that's Woods on Sports, Pally. Woods, he's always going to give you Boston losses and Yankee wins. Yep, that's how he works. That's right. That's why they call it Woods on Sports, kid. That's right. That's right. There was a bomb scare in Times Square. Yes, a car bomb. What are the details? What do we know? Okay, well, this happened on Saturday night. And what happened was this Pathfinder SUV was left right in the middle of Times Square. And a guy who actually sells, like, handbags on the side of the street, he saw this car abandoned. The keys were still in the ignition. And there was smoke coming from the car. So he called cops. People went over, checked it out. And they found a bunch of, there was a three barbecue-sized propane tanks, fireworks, two filled.

40:08five-gallon gasoline containers and two clocks with batteries, electrical wire, and other components all in this car. Yeah, you think that would make anybody nervous? You're walking down Times Square and you've seen an abandoned car running. Wow. Just sitting there. Not at all. And by the way, the heads up of that dude that sees it and gets the cops. Because there's so much going on in Times Square. The fact that he even noticed that. Well, the crazy part is, is the... There was a white male man in his 40s who was found on a surveillance camera walking away from the car and into the alley nearby where he was seen changing out of his clothes. Are you kidding me? Yes. So they think they found the suspect and they're checking it out more, but crazy that he was found. This is Mayor Bloomberg. We avoided what could have been a very deadly event. Certainly could have exploded and had a pretty big fire and a decent amount of explosive impact. Have you guys, anybody seen The Hurt Locker? Yeah. You saw it? It's a good movie. Lauren? It's good. That's what it's about. It's about dudes in Iraq that disarm bombs. It is, I've never been more tense. I just got chills. You got goosebumps. Yeah. It's good. Dude, I was on the plane watching it. It is phenomenal.

41:28Really? Talk about a guy who loves his job. Yeah. Woods, you will love it. I'll watch it tonight. You're not going to like it. I'll watch it tonight. You're not going to like it. You're going to love it. I'll love it tonight, for sure. It is so tense. It is so tense. I mean, think about it. Dudes that are disarming bombs. You know, the thing with me, though, every time there's a movie that takes place in Iraq or Afghanistan, I'm just like, power down immediately. It won't power you down. Yeah, this is more like an amp you up sort of. I'm in. It will. Sold. Yeah. If LLB likes it, I'm in. You're going to like it. It won a lot of awards, didn't it? Oscars and stuff, too. So did Out of Africa, though. No. Dude, it dances with clowns. I'm not watching that either. Okay? Oh, wow. I'm telling you, I guarantee you'll like it. I'll put a five spot on it. I'm willing to go $5. What else did you watch on the plane, pal? Oh, I watched Crazy Heart. I watched it, too. I watched it. Did you guys love it? It was good. It was so good. I love Jeff Bridges, though. He's the best. I feel like I know him. I know. I thought it was so good, I watched it twice in a day. It's so good. I would have watched it twice. It was really good. In the beginning scene, I was like, well, this is like Big Lebowski. He's like the dude again. Yeah, he's at the bowling alley. Yeah, I'm like, what the heck? This is stupid. His role from Big Lebowski? Yeah, and then it went on, and it's like... It's really good. It's a very good human interest story. I'm glad you guys liked it. Plays an old country dude. And it's one of the most amazing films. It's really raw. He doesn't seem...

42:55like an actor in that movie. He seems like a real dude. Dude, he's Bad Blake. My name's Bad Blake. I'm Bad Blake. I was born bad. I am bad. I'm a fan of the older guys, but Maggie Gyllenhaal hooking up with him. I know. It was kind of weird. I was like, I'm uncomfortable, I'm uncomfortable, I'm uncomfortable. Me too. Every time they kissed. I got over it. I did too. In the beginning, I was like, stop it, stop it, stop it. Every time they kissed, I was like, hey, hey, hey, hey. He looks so gross and like smelly and his beard like has ham sandwich in it. He's so sweaty. Willie Nelson sleeping in a hammock inside of his beard. My wife goes. Why does she like him? Because he's Bad Blake. He's Bad Blake. I know. He's born bad. He is bad. He seemed like such a nice guy, though. So good. It's a really good movie. Yeah. Speaking of geezers, how about...

43:46Nice transition. Wow. The Geezer Bandits back in San Diego. Striking for the eighth time robbing a bank. This one happened about 2.15 p.m. in Vista inside the Albertsons. Yeah. It happens in broad daylight every time. This guy walks up, hands a teller a note every time, and he walks out with, we don't know ever how much money he gets. But now there's a huge reward for him. $16,000 is being offered. There's three different rewards totaling in $16,000. I don't believe that he's old. I don't either. There's no way. He's good. It's a point break, man. But he might as well be old because he's just walking out. It's amazing. I don't understand. I wonder if he's got a getaway car, if he's got somebody that's there for him. I wonder what the deal is. I don't want to glorify it because... this is a crime and it's wrong and it's dangerous, but it would be a good movie premise. Of course. 100%. And it will be. I'm like almost rooting for him. I am not rooting for him. Awful. But it's so, he must be like the most interesting guy if he's not old and he can just calmly. I don't always rob banks. Yes. But when I do, I dress as a geezer. Exactly.

44:58It's the creepiest thing that that dude is still doing this. Eight times. I mean, it's nuts. He's been all over the place. This one was at the Albertsons, like I said, on East Vista Way. It was a U.S. bank satellite office. He knows what he's doing. Yeah. At some point, though, do you... I mean, it's not about the money, obviously. It's about the rush, isn't it? You're the geezer bandit. Call in. 570. Yeah. We'd love to talk to you. We want to talk to you. Hello. Hello. Wait a second. Adam Sandler? Yeah. Wow. Hi. Just got back from Hawaii. Rob Banks. What? Sabadoo. 570-1949. Text us 949mikey at gmail.com. I made a cologne while I was there. This is the greatest thing ever. What did I say when you walked in this morning? Are you wearing a new cologne? I said, wait a second. You're wearing a new cologne. You can be completely honest. I like it. You do? Are you sure? I promise you. Cross my heart. It's not gross? No, it's very clean.

46:09Woods just ran over there to smell his neck. Is it musky? Musky, but clean. I like it. I felt so embarrassed. It's no Drakkar, dude, but it's... Let me tell you why I felt embarrassed. Because you made your own cologne. That's the first reason. I want to hear the process, Kim Kardashian. Yeah, seriously. Is that Elizabeth Taylor over there? Oh, wow. I don't always make my own cologne. But when I do, I make this cologne. Obsession. Yeah. At the place that we were staying, they said that you could make your own perfume. And I go, and I'm reading the ad, and it said that, let me tell you. Ladies, ladies. Excuse me. Hang on. It said Thomas Howard, cool black dude, right? You know Thomas Howard, the actor? He was in Hustle and Flow. No, that's Terrence Howard. Terrence Howard. He was also in Iron Man. Yep. Really cool guy. And I go, do they do this in men's too? She goes, oh, yeah.

47:09I go, how do I do it? She goes, you just make an appointment. I didn't realize that the appointment would take place outside in front of people walking by. Oh, no. Because all I could think of is if they knew what I was doing, I'd be humiliated if people knew what I was doing. And I'm not going to tell anybody I did this. And then what do I do? I didn't plan on saying this on the radio. I come back and I say it, that I made a cologne. You're like a chemist. Why wouldn't you plan on talking about this? Because it's so effeminate. No, it's not. That's not at all what I thought of. I didn't think of feminine. I just thought, really? That's what you did on vacation? Really? Okay. Cologne maker? Cologne maker. I didn't think feminine. Cologne maker. Nice to meet you. I thought, of course you did. Of course I did. Of course I did. So how, can you replicate it? Did you get several bottles? She told me what, she told me. He's starting his own line. Is that, is somebody wearing sandalwood? Does somebody have? Did you name it? No. Woods asked me what it's called and I go, it's called mansion. We said, did you just make that up on the spot? Yeah. I didn't think to name it. So how do you do it? It's such a dopey process. You sit there and you have to smell little swatches. How long does it take? An hour? What are some of the components that go into it? What are they called? They've got 50 different...

48:30First of all, you do a questionnaire of stuff that you like. Then they take that, and then they break it down into all these swatches you've got to eliminate. Oh, my God. What kind of things they're like, do you like sports? Do you like tacos? Have you ever seen a grown man naked? Carne asada? Yeah. Yeah, it turns out I like burritos and carne asada. But they didn't have anything in those different smells. Loose Traveler. But anyways, the name of the song? I love it. Weird. Conan O'Brien went on 60 Minutes last night and he did his first interview talking about the Leno stuff. Now, I want you to tell me, what do you think got him to react in this way? They're asking him all kinds of questions. Tell me what you think got him to react like this.

49:34This is from last night's 60 Minutes with Conan O'Brien. Do you believe he acted honorably during all of this? I don't think I can answer that. Wait till you hear the whole answer. We'll do it for you. Next. Conan O'Brien went on. 60 Minutes last night. It was his first interview since all the stuff went down with he and Jay Leno. Now, if you don't know the story, I guess it would help to kind of fill you in briefly on what happened. Conan O'Brien gets The Tonight Show. And a few months later, Jay Leno takes The Tonight Show back from him. Now, when I say a few months, like six months later, nine months later, whatever it was, and...

51:13It was pretty bad, man. Well, because Leno's show failed. It wasn't primetime, was it? It was primetime. It was primetime, and it failed. It failed miserably. Miserably. Meanwhile, The Tonight Show was doing pretty good with Conan O'Brien. Yeah. And he was ushered out the door. That's weak. Now, they gave him a ton of dough to leave, but I don't think he didn't want to. He didn't want it. He was enjoying it. Now, part of the agreement was, okay, you leave. But you've got to sign this document saying that you won't say anything disparaging about anybody, which he did. That's weak, too. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you should be able to say whatever you want. Right. Now, he leaves, and they go on 60 Minutes, and they ask him, so, Conan, do you think that what Jay did was honorable? Loaded question, obviously. For sure. Do you think it was honorable? And he responds in this odd way. I love that. Sounds like me in the morning. Sounds like you. I don't think I can answer that. I don't think... I can just tell you maybe how I would have handled it, and I would do it differently. You wouldn't have come back on The Tonight Show. If I had surrendered The Tonight Show and handed it over to somebody publicly and wished them well, and then I would not have come back six months later. But that's me. Everyone's...

52:45Got their own, you know, way of doing things. What would you have done? Done something else. Go someplace else. I mean, that's just me. Wow. Yeah, he's absolutely right. Absolutely right. Now, what do you guys say about what Jay says? Jay says he was doing great in the ratings, which is a true fact, and that NBC said to him, we want you to go and we want to usher in young, fresh blood. Now, if that's true, do you think that that was jacked? No. He's had the reins for a while. Yeah. I mean, a long while. Because that's kind of what his deal was. How are they doing now? How's the Tonight Show with Jay doing now? I think it's doing pretty well. Is it? Yeah. So did he ask for the show back, or did NBC ask Jay to come back? How all did that happen? Why would they, though, if Conan was doing okay? Why would they say, well, we're going to want Jay back?

53:46I think people are saying NBC, people are saying Jay has to come back. I don't think there's like a... I'm sure it was Jay because his ratings were terrible in primetime. I mean, he was just getting filleted. I listened to Howard a lot doing that, and Howard was just killing it. Really? Well, and his whole little commercial, like before he went back on the air, it was like him in a convertible being like, I'm back, all this stuff. It's like he just wouldn't just like... take some pride and just kind of be like, OK, I had my time and maybe that stinks what happened. But OK, it's Conan's time now. It's like he had to keep being like, wait a minute, wait about me. You know, and he's right, like publicly doing that. That's like no shame. Yeah, pretty much. Here's some more clips. Lena would say, look, I was riding high. I was number one and I was still number one when I left. And Conan made this deal with NBC and NBC said. Okay, Jay, we're going to take you off the air in five years, regardless of whether you're number one or number two or what. I think he felt like he was forced out. It's hard for me to get inside his head and argue his side of this whole thing. Here's what I can say. I'm happy with my decision. I sleep well at night. And I, you know, hope he's happy with his decision.

55:08Do you think that Jay lobbied for this? I don't know, but what I know is what happened, which is that he went and took that show back. Wow. Yeah. You know, Jay, or excuse me, Conan is back. He's going to TBS. So weird. Random, weird, cable, strange. George Lopez. Yeah. He's on the road right now. Yeah. He also had a big giant beard. Yeah. And they were wondering, so. Conan, what's with the beard? What's with the giant beard? So what's with the beard? The first day that I woke up and was no longer the host of Tonight Show, I remember the first thought I had is I am not shaving. And that was my small victory. Okay, so I lost the Tonight Show, but I'll show them.

55:59I'll stop shaving. I've noticed guys go through a certain thing in life, whether it be breaking up, losing a job, moving to a new place, and they grow their facial hair off. It's their bit. I wonder why. It's their bit. It's true. We do. Why do we do that, Woodsy? I don't know, man. Why shave if you don't have to? You give up. It's a pain to shave. It is. And by the way, guys, it's a great segue, and this is Mandatory Mustache May. Is it? Yes. Is that what you got going on there? Yeah. I'm growing a full stache. Are you? Yes. I'm a total fan of the mustache. I'm going to try to make it through the whole month of May with just a stache. How do you look with a mustache? Like John Holmes, the porn star. Repulsive. I just shave mine off. My wife will kill me. No. I mean, Jamie's not happy about it. We talked about it at the M1 Padres game the other night. We were all there. I think there's a lot of M1s going to do it, and we're all going to grow our stashes out real good. I love it. Jay, would you do it? I'll do it again. I just shaved mine off. I looked like Colonel Sanders before. Do it just the mustache, though. I'm going to look like Tom Selleck. Yes, Jay, you have to shave your chin and just have a mustache. Actually, I'm going to look like Chaz Bono with a mustache. Oh, stop. You don't look like Chaz Bono. I'll have a mustache by the meeting this afternoon. Yeah, you will. Sienna, what's the story with the monkey meat?

57:25Oh, my God. This is so weird. This is really disturbing. Well, there's a couple in Indonesia. They've just been arrested because they were making meatballs from the flesh of protected monkeys. Ew. Yes, yes. Gross. They poached dozens of rare Javan langers. I guess that's a type of monkey. And they're also known as a silver leaf monkey. And, yeah, it's just they admitted that they knew what they were doing was against the law, but beef and chicken were a lot more expensive. Of course. Monkey tastes good. Awful. I wonder what that 911 call might have sounded like. 911, what's your emergency? I am at this restaurant, and I'm here with my husband. He's a horticulturalist or something like that. And he says, he swears what we're eating is monkey meat. First of all, you need to slow down. Settle down. It is monkey meat. I need you to stay calm. And you said your husband's a horticulturalist? Horticulturist. So he would know. Okay, so, okay. Interesting. Let me tell you, I hear somebody yelling in the background. Is the proprietor there? Yeah, he's yelling. He's full of it. Yeah, here, scumbag. Talk to them. Did he just call me a scumbag? What is this? Yeah, this is 911. Somebody had just called saying that the food that you're serving is monkey meat. This is not monkey meat. That is life.

58:55Sir, I hear the monkeys in the background. There is no monkey. What's that noise? What is what noise you're saying? The monkeys yelling and screaming in the background. There is no monkey. I don't know what you mean. What is the noise I'm hearing? That noise right there. That is my cell phone. That's your cell phone. Yes, my cell phone ringer. Uh, I'm really concerned that you may be serving monkey meat there, sir, and if so, I'm going to have to send somebody out immediately. What do you think I am? I hear that I would do that kind of thing to serve to my people here. That is so, uh, you are inflammatory. Well, I'm definitely not inflammatory, but I'm definitely hearing some monkeys in the background running around. That, right there. What? That noise, that noise right there, that's a monkey. Oh, let it go to voicemail. I have to go, okay? Okay. Just let it go to voicemail. Yeah, that's what you gotta do. Well, if that's your ringtone, you can't have that. I want that ringtone. How freaky would that be if you're standing in Target and you hear that? 570-1949. You gotta pick your horse. Me, Sienna, Woodsy, or Lauren.

1:00:08We're going to do... Does anybody really want me? Maybe you'll do good. She's already checked out already. I know it. That's her problem. Come on in here, Jay. I'm feeling optimistic today. Are you? For this bit... Yes, I am. For this bit, which we call Name That Tune, you pick one of us, and it could be a television show, it could be a movie, it could be all sorts of different things, and we have to use our name as a buzzer. 570-1949. Come on around, Mike. Yeah, I've got to pass my headphones across the board. Maybe instead of name that tune, we should call it Pick That Clown. Name Pick That Clown. Oh, I thought you said kick that clown meeting Woods. It's like, yeah, let's call it that. You know what I haven't done is I haven't set up the callers online yet. It's okay. So how are we going to know who's who? I guess we won't. Don't worry about it. Okay. Don't worry about it. All right. They're blowing up. There we go. Real quick. Want to get them? Yeah. Let's get them. Can you take them from in here? No. I need to go in the other room real quick and take them. Okay. Just give me two seconds. Yeah, go ahead. Well, maybe we can talk about something else. We will. Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie? Watch me. I do not want to. I can't look out. Don't look, dude. I can't look out. What's looking at me? Because he can see the. I would be able to see. And I don't want to. Okay. You just looked. I didn't. He's too little.

1:01:38Really? Really? You have to boost him up to see. Yeah, that's right. Okay. We have other stuff we could talk about. Yeah. Oh, I want to know about the iPad 3G. Do you know what this is, first of all? Is it different than the one you got? Yes. It is? Yes. And it's, what, two weeks after you bought yours? Yes. Are you mad? I don't understand. Are you mad? I knew it before I did it. Why didn't you wait? Impatient. Do you have your iPad with you? And it costs more. It does cost more. It only costs like $130 more. Here's the difference between the version that I have and the version that just came out. The version I have, you can only connect to the internet if you're around a wireless connection. This new one works in the park. You could be sitting on the beach. It works the same way as your cell phone does. So you can connect to the internet like a phone. So not well. Yeah. It has a cellular antenna, too. Does that mean it's a cell phone? It has an antenna? It says, yeah. Oh, my God. There's an obvious difference between the iPad you have and this one because there's a black plastic bar along the backside instead of the all-aluminum enclosure, which is on yours. Aluminum. And the plastic area lets the cellular antenna work its cell magic. Of course it does. Of course it does. Well, there have been tests, and the new 3G is apparently a lot better. It's also a griddle.

1:03:00I know it, huh? You can cook bacon and eggs on it. Forget George Foreman. That's an app, right? That heats it up to a point. Cook pancakes. All right, we're ready to go. We outwrestling. Yeah, we use our name as a buzzer. I love how Mikey has to go to Sienna's mic because she's the only one nice enough to share. I know. I cheer him on, too. Let's do this. It kind of feels like I'm winning because it's coming from my mic. You smell nice. Is that your hair? I don't know. So today's prize for the winners, we have a pair of tickets to see Muse September 22nd. Wow. All right. I got to get my game on. Let's do it. Let's do it. All right. Here we go. What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere. What's this? There's white things in the car. Yes! The Nightmare Before Christmas. What do we do? Is this movies? This is movies. This is movies. 1990s and earlier. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. As soon as I heard that movie, I powered down. I'm like, whatever this is, I've never seen it. I've seen it a couple times. I've seen it. It's a good movie. As soon as I hear musical type stuff, I'm out. What's this? It reminds me of Alice in Wonderland. Me too. That was my sister's favorite movie. Okay, here we go. Serious. Make it happen.

1:04:25You know, the thing about relationships is that they make one person go... 40-year-old virgin. Well done. Well done. Girls take the lead. Yeah. All right, here we go. I'm sucking today. I love the Smiths. Sorry. I said I love the Smiths. You've created some music. To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die. I love them. None of us know. No clue. Wow. What was it? 500 Days of Summer. I was going to say it, dude. I was going to say it. Great movie. Just saw it. Is that a new? That's the Zooey Deschamps? Mm-hmm. The guy that does our website, Jared, just loaned us that movie about a month ago. I still haven't got to it. If I had got to it, I didn't own it. You didn't own it. Dang it. Here we go. And soon, guess what? I was walking down Melrose. Lauren. What? Lauren. Wow. Borat?

1:05:38I think it's Bruno What's the score it would it's a woods one Sienna one Lord zero Mikey zero All right, here we go Hey George Simmons you destroyed man. The guy was on after me. It's very hard Funny people. Darn it. Nice work. Darn it. That was Adam Sandler. Yeah, that was Adam Sandler. Yeah, that was a good movie. It's a depressing movie. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Stuff was on YouTube. Now, everybody loves a nutty buddy. I get it. But this doesn't work, sir. Hey, give me a nutty buddy. That's me. Those are children. Get a camera out of my face. You have a ride.

1:06:44Apocalypse Now. Wow, he's... What? I don't know. God just cost himself one. Here we go. Well, play it again. Were you guys close to getting that? I know who's talking, but I don't know the movie. It's Jason Bateman talking. Nobody knows it? I was helping you. So you want me to just tell you? Yeah. Hancock. No way. Maybe it wasn't Jason Bateman. It was. Jason Bateman's in Hancock. Will Smith. Will Smith. He's a superhero. Yes. Just a drunk superhero. I even saw that. I saw it too. Come on. People. Come on. Here we go. These are hard. You are John Grogan. You're going to get a job as a reporter. Woods. Woods. Woods. It's Marley and me. No! I knew it! I knew it! Of course you know that. Of course you did. That movie tricked everybody. Everybody thought it was a feel-good comedy of the year. And it turned out to be the saddest movie ever. Stab me in the heart movie of the year. So sad. All right. Get ready. You better get married soon. You're starting to lose. Lauren. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Well done. Well done, Lauren. Lauren's in the hunt. Not really. All right. Here we go. This is a tough one.

1:07:58I think we deserve a little junk food after the workout we had this morning. Thank you. Sienna. American Beauty. Wow. That's good. I thought that would be a hard one. Woodsy three, Sienna two, Lauren one, me minus one. Your apocalypse now took you down. Here we go. It's his first time. He's a friend of the family. Bernard and Lydia. Woods. Four weddings and a funeral. Oh, my God. Woods is on fire. You know it. Woods got four. All right. Here we go. Here we go. We've been meaning to clean out that room for a while. Oh, yeah. Hey, hey. Yeah. Shot shake redemption. What? Lauren. What? That's wrong?

1:08:58Oh, I know it! My brother, where art thou? Can I try again? I can't try again. Mikey said yes. Mikey said yes. You can't try again. Not for a point. You're out. Why did I say that? Nobody else knows. Green Mile. You would have known. It's the mouse and the shell. I've never even seen her brother. Why did I do that? I've seen Green Mile and I didn't recognize it. That was Green Mile, right? Yeah, that was Green Mile. Wait, don't take one away. Of course, you lost. You got it wrong. When you get it wrong, you lose a point. I know. Welcome to the game. Hey, this is Name That Tune on the Mikey Show. We do it every Monday. 1C4, Sienna 1, Lauren 0, me minus 1. But, okay, can I maybe...

1:09:48Consider a new rule? Yeah. Okay. I'll consider it. Okay, I'm just going to say that I got it wrong, and then you all have a chance, and if none of you know it, and I know the right answer, then I can get a point. Then if you know the right answer, say it the first time. Okay, shut up. That's a trick. Isn't that how it works? Okay, A, shut up. Remember when you used to take a test in school, and when you hand it in? Remember when you hand your test in? Overruled. Too many people will think that that's ridiculous. When you're out, you're out. When you're out, you're out. Fine. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, God, Joanne. Nice drama queen energy. Can you just set it down so it gets better for once instead of worse? Oh, I know that voice. You're calling me a drama queen, Mr. Pervert? Dad, put the camera down. Dad, wait, wait, wait. Try to think back like 100 years ago, okay? I'm dead serious. Because I'm getting a feeling from this picture back when you guys came back from the hospital with Joanne. No.

1:10:48She was just a tiny little baby, right? So anything that happened is it possible there was like a baboon family there in the hospital and that there was a switch up. Was that Robert Downey? Yeah. Maybe you got the wrong one. Because I'm not kidding about this. You little sli- It's Robert Downey Jr. No, that's all I got. Home for the holidays. I knew it was something in that vein. How many more? There are one, two, three, four more. Four more! Here we go, here we go. God bless. I can have four new fillets overnight. Oh, no, no, thank you. What is your name again? Yes, sir. I'll just mine first Lauren She never said anything though. She didn't answer but she said I don't know

1:11:46Well, I know. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. You guys can wait as long as you want, but one minute from right now, I'm going to eat some food. And you can call it rude. You can call whatever you want. And you can be all polite with your clean plates, but I'm going to be eating food. Big Lebowski. Yeah, Mike. No. It's not Big Lebowski. No. I can't believe it. I don't know. I have a guess, but I don't want to. Wait, is there more of the clip? There is more. Does anybody else have any guesses? I have a guess. Can we hear more of it? I bet you might lose a point. I know, hear more. You guys can wait as long as you want, but one minute from right now, I'm going to eat some food. And you can call it rude, you can call whatever you want, and you can be all polite with your clean plates, but I'm going to be eating food. And I'm going to go in the other room and eat it and check my email, because I'm done with this. Woods. Woods.

1:12:45Pineapple Express It may be technically over over I think it's technically I've got two more really good ones Let's do it Mr. Delaney, can you work for me tomorrow? Tomorrow's Thanksgiving Then you must come in the next day Knocked up Okay, play it again. That's Craig Robinson. Oh, wait. Then you must come in the next day, I tell you. I know what it is. Can I say it? Black Friday. It's the biggest mall shopping day of the year. And since the mall is just up the street, I would like you to come out and work. On Black Friday. Oh, yeah. Anybody know it? Yeah, Zack and Mary make a porn. Yeah, but... Darn it! See, if you guys had to prove my rule, you would have got a point. I know. Man. I'm a choke artist. One more? One more. Let's do it. You want to hear my song? I'll play you my song, if you want to hear it. Woods. School of Rock. That's the best movie ever. Was it? You guys consider yourself school. Okay?

1:14:05Again. Was a beating. See, it should be called Kick That Clown. Would he kill us? Yeah, name that Woods. Would he kill us? My goodness. M1, what is it? It's lag spike. M1 lag spike. M1 lag spike. Lag spike. Lag spike. What is lag spike? What is that? Lag spike, it's like... Man, it's like when you're on the internet and it often glitches for a couple seconds and then it comes right back up. What do you do for a living? How do you, I mean, how does one? Zeros and ones. Yeah, how does one know that? Oh, man, I used to be a huge gamer back in the day. Got it. World of Warcraft. Used to be. Yeah, used to be. Guess what, bro? You're going to see Muse. Oh, man, that is awesome. Nice. Yeah, baby. Way to go. Nice job, Woods. Stick with the kid, dude. I'll take you home real good. Hang on. Thank you so much, Woods. You bet, man. Hang on, lag spike. Say it. Lag spike, right? Lag spike. You guys, we need to beat Woods. I know. We need what? We need to beat him. I feel like if I were listening in my car, I'd be like screaming it out right away like, you idiot. That's right. But then when you're under the pressure, you say things like, like shot shake redemption. You know what you can't do? I've got the strategy down.

1:15:27Yeah. You can't yell stuff out if you don't know the answer. I know. Because it kills you. The losing a point slays you. That's how I got killed. I would have had, like, four points. I know. Look at you, Laura. It's like, look. Look at all yours. I restart. Yeah. It's so, it's hard. I get excited. That's weird that you would yell something out that's the wrong answer because you never see that. I know you guys all love this song. Love TLC. New ways to be wrong every day. That's right. Oh, this is John Denver, right? It is not. It is not, Lauren. It is not John Denver. So check this out. Letterman goes on Regis and Kelly. And he talks for the first time about his affair. And we have the audio. Woo! Plus, we were on vacation when the Chargers drafted. How'd they do? You may already have your opinion on that, but we'll discuss. Should we talk to the M1s about it? What they think? Sure. Let's do it. 570-1949. Also, if you've got a dude you're dumb, give us a call. 570-1949 or text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. Dude you're dumb is basically...

1:16:39That guy. Yeah. It's the guy that drives you nuts because he does this or he does that. I have a great one. We got some good ones today. We'll do it next. That's what I want to hear. Welcome back. Letterman goes on Regis and Kelly. And he's talking for the first time about having an affair. Take a listen. Here's what he said. Well, I don't know if people know about this, but I've had some trouble. Do you think? You know, when something like this happens, and mostly it was reckless behavior on my part, and if you behave recklessly and it hurts your family, well, then, of course, it hurts you. And there's just one thing you can do in that circumstance. And first, I don't know if you've ever... And it was not a tragedy. It was just stupidity. I mean, thank God, because we all know what tragedies are, and we all know how...

1:17:57horrifying and scarring and uh you can't get beyond some of these we all know what we're talking about you read about them every day and it just got awful and when you're a parent yeah this is your worst nightmare so it wasn't that thank god but it was stupid behavior what do you guys think of that you think of his thoughts um he didn't really cop to much i mean i mean he has a good point though it's not you know what he did was not like he said a tragedy i mean it was probably tragic for his Are they married now for his wife? But, you know, it's not genocide or anything like that. I mean, it's unfortunate. He referred to it a lot as an explosion. It's a word that he used a lot during the interview to categorize it.

1:18:45You take a look at the explosion and it knocks you down and you wake up every morning and you're scared and you're depressed and sad and you kind of got to let that knock you down and knock you down and then pretty soon you've got to start knocking it down. And then when that happens, you're able to take a look at the pieces left of your life because you think an explosion has taken place and you're looking at the shards and you see, well, can we put this back together? And by God, maybe you can put it back together and maybe it won't be. THE SAME, BUT MAYBE IT WILL BE DIFFERENT. MAYBE IT CAN EVEN BE BETTER IN A DIFFERENT WAY. RIGHT. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO THAT, AND I'M TELLING PEOPLE EVERYTHING THEY ALREADY KNOW, YOU CAN ONLY DO THAT WITH THE HELP OF YOUR FRIENDS. AND BY GOD, YOURSELF INCLUDED AND EVERYBODY ELSE, I'VE HAD NOTHING BUT GREAT FRIENDSHIP TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS. AND SO RIGHT NOW, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING. WE'RE PUTTING THE THING BACK TOGETHER TO SEE WHAT IT'S GOING TO LOOK LIKE. IS IT VIABLE? IS IT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SATISFYING AND FULFILLING? Everybody likes his success story. And so if he keeps his nose clean, I think people will be happy with that. He's one of those guys that's pretty tough to get mad at Letterman because he's so self-deprecating and he always has been. It's very tough to... I mean, I still love the guy. I think he's brilliant. I'd watch him if I didn't stay up till...

1:20:06I especially like that he's the one that came out and said it. You know what I mean? It makes it different in my eyes for some reason. Yeah. LLB doesn't like it. No. LLB is out on Letterman. Out. Right? I like Conan. I'm team Coco. Yeah. Now, what about what he's saying, though, in the context of the fair? Yeah, I believe, you know, like Woods was saying, like, yeah, you know, there's bigger fish to fry and it's not like the end of the world kind of thing. But just over all these public affairs. Is it weird to hear him making jokes about Tiger Woods? It'd probably be weird. Because he does. Yeah, he's been there. Pot calling the kettle black. It would almost be weirder if he didn't, though. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, he has to. If he ignored the Tiger Woods thing when you know he wouldn't have... It's, like, awkward. I'm sure his jokes are probably... Does he kind of lump himself in? I'm sure he's like, yeah, I know I'm one to talk. Yeah, I know I can't say this, but... Then what does his wife think when she's...

1:21:04It was like, oh, that's really funny. You know what he does? He comes up and he just says, hey, listen, it's a bit. It's true. Don't worry about it. I think it's 70 mil a year. It's a bit. It's my bit. She can shop her stress. Shop your pain away. Wait a minute. Let's see. We got somebody calling in about it. Mikey Show, this is M1 Chowderhead. Hey, what's going on, guys? What's up, dude? Hey, man, I'm buying it. He could have been talking about a carburetor. I mean, it was just too general. So what do you mean? You don't think that he was addressing his affair? No. The way that he described it, I mean, you know, we've got to take this thing and put it back, blah, blah, blah. You know, he could have been talking about a car. So your point? No remorse. You feel like he was too cliche about the whole thing. Yeah, no remorse. I think Letterman is such a private dude. It's really difficult for him to talk about this stuff, but he knows he has to. Yeah, but I don't, I mean, that's... I had the same stance on Tiger Woods. It's like, what is it our business to know all the specifics? Why does he owe that to us? He's telling us that they're working on it and it's not a good time right now, but they're trying to get through it because, you know, they have a kid together. I agree. That's all we need to know. None of my beeswax. Beeswax. It is not. It ain't my deal. It's his deal. It's his wife's deal. Yeah. Got to work it out with them. Woodsy, during the break, the Chargers drafted who? Do they?

1:22:29Like I said, they had a very interesting draft. They traded up a lot. They had, I think, the 28th pick. They traded up 16 picks to get Ryan Matthews out of Fresno State. And I've been reading the boards and reading what people are saying. Good pick. Everybody likes a guy. They just didn't think he was worthy of going 12 overall from what I've read. I mean, you guys may feel different, but it's one of those things. It's like if you go and buy a car. If you think you got a good deal in the car, then you got a good deal. Sure. So if you're stoked about the player, okay. You did a good job. It was a good draft. I think what Woodsy's trying to say is that they feel that he bought a good brand car. Oh, yeah. It's a good brand. They just thought, well, you paid an awful lot for that. Yeah, it's one of those things. It's kind of like, well, if you waited two months. you probably could have gotten a better deal on it. And so everyone said, hey, this guy's probably going to fall. But when you know who you want, it kind of makes sense to sacrifice everything at all costs to go get him. And they must have thought he ain't going to be around in two months. He's their guy. I mean, if you pinpoint a guy on the board and you say, this is the dude that I want and I got to have him, go get him. You know what I thought was amazing about it? His name is Ryan Matthews. He went to Fresno State. Yep. And I was watching highlight clips of him on YouTube. Sick.

1:23:49I'm telling you, he reminded me of LT. Faster. Really? They say faster. Yeah. I'm telling you. And they say better hands. Watching the clips of him, I went, who does he remember? Oh, he reminds me of LT. He was also number 21. Yeah. Why didn't they just keep LT then? Well, LT's got a little tread on the tires. This is a young, quicker, maybe. A lot of people are bummed because they could have taken Terrence Cody out of Alabama to play nose tackle. Again, you got your guy that you want, and they went and they got him. So they traded a couple of picks, and that was kind of a bummer because it is and was such a deep, deep draft. I mean, they're great players all the way into the fifth and sixth round. But again, they got their guy. So they also got a couple other guys that are pretty notable, man. The coolest pick I thought was the quarterback out of Tennessee, Jonathan Crompton. He's going to be...

1:24:46He's going to be a project, but he's got a good arm. He's worked in pro-style offense. I mean, I think overall, dude, you give them a good solid B. They did a good job. They got their running back who they wanted. They did take a defensive tackle, Cam Thomas, out of North Carolina. So I think, you know, hey, again, with the draft, you never know, man. You've got to see how it shakes out, right? I mean, it's a gamble. This guy, Ryan Matthews, could play one game, break his leg, and never play again. I mean, you hope that doesn't happen. So it'll all shake out. There were some really good drafts. The Seahawks had a really good draft. The Raiders had a really good draft. They made some moves. They got Jason Campbell in there now to play quarterback. So, again, man, I couldn't be more excited for the NFL season to start. We've got a few months yet. But I think they did a good job, man. And like I said, they got their guy, and that's the guy they wanted. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. Don't forget this weekend is UFC 113, and our boy Joey Beltran is fighting this weekend. Where are we watching that? I don't know, but we're watching it. It'll be my first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're watching it. Never forget your first, pal. That's right. Yeah, Woodsy's never watched a UFC event. I've been to one, and I've been to a big-name professional boxing. Electricity, UFC, way outdoes. Really? Dude, I went to Mosley, De La Hoya. No kidding. It was intense.

1:26:11I mean, it was intense. There was giant NBA players that were there. There was a feeling of excitement. Didn't even come close to the UFC stuff. UFC made the hair on your arms come up. Amazing electricity in those rooms. I want to see it. Because we had him in here, and he's just a beast. And I want to see him kick the crap out of this guy. If I went live, I feel like the whole time I'd be covering my eyes like, oh, oh. It's amazing. I think I may be doing that anyway. But I want to see it because this guy's coming in. Yeah. You've known them. Let's do this. You've seen them. They may even be you. Woods just points them out. It's time for Dude, You're Dumb. You can call us, too. 570-1949. You know that, dude? You know that, dude? You're dumb. You know what? It doesn't have to be a dude, too. Be a chick. Somebody that you just see somewhere that you're like, do you really have to do that? And Sienna's got one for us in a little bit, too. I have one, too, now. Yes, good. Well, this one, we got this from an M1, and I was laughing out loud when I read it.

1:27:15I think she works at a Starbucks. Okay. And it's Mr. Well-Traveled Guy. The guy that comes in and, you know, oh, he goes, let me have an espresso. And he gets it and he tastes it. And he goes, oh, this is disgusting. This isn't how they do it over in Italy. People over in Italy would vomit if they drank this espresso. That is brutal. It's that guy. It's the well-traveled guy that comes over here. Who compares it. Yeah, he eats at an Italian restaurant. This is disgusting. They would never do this in Sicily. Really? It's that guy. Yeah. You like it so much, pal. Move over to Italy. Exactly. Yeah, dude. This isn't Florence. It's Carlsbad. Yeah. All right? So calm down. Don't big time me, dude. Okay? Yeah, you're great. You've been to Italy. So, dude, you are definitely, definitely dumb. And then how about... Oh, boy, I'm going to get in so much trouble for this. But how about the people that let their dogs, they just stay outside and they bark in Sicily. I have five dogs. You know when my dogs bark? When I let them out, they run outside, they bark a little bit, and they potty, and I bring them back inside. I don't leave them outside to bark all night. You know what else I don't do?

1:28:18I don't start campfires in my backyard. Like my new neighbors. What do you mean? Like my new neighbors. Campfire? Yeah, campfire. If I have a fire pit. Yeah, they do. And you know what my house smelled like last night? It smelled like a Boy Scout outing, dude. Close the windows. I love it. I live in San Diego. What's the best part about living in San Diego? You can open the windows. Open your windows. It's beautiful. It's 65 degrees. And you're late. You're laying on the couch, cuddled up with the wife. And I'm going, is that? Is that? Is that? Is our house on fire? Maybe it was just the way the wind was blowing last night. Well, whatever, dude. I've been there three nights and I'm already like, great. I have a chiminea and that's... Hold on. What? I have a chiminea. Of course you do. Mom! I want a chiminea! My mom actually got it for us. It's a chiminea. You don't know what a chiminea is? Of course I don't. I know what it is. It's a baby koala. It's a baby koala. It's a chiminea. What is it? A chiminea is like an outdoor chimney type deal. It's like a little fire pit that has... What can I compare it to?

1:29:21Jay, you know what it is, right? Yeah, it's just a little fire pit. Yeah, it looks like that. Lauren just drew a picture of it. It looks like a vase, a giant vase with a hole in it. Put the wood in there. It's a giant ceramic vase. Okay, maybe I buy them a chiminea. It's a pipe. I just saw it. Yeah, it's giant. I almost said bong. It's a weed pipe. Imagine just like three feet tall. Okay. Now my house smelled last night like a cookout. Yeah. It was great. Yeah, you're living in a chiminea. Yeah, I go into bed at about nine o'clock and lay down in bed and went. Nice. If you got a chimenea, you would use it and you would love it. So yeah, love a campfire. Sienna, you got one too, right? Oh my goodness. When I was coming back from Mexico last night on the plane, the guy sitting in front of us, oh, this genius. It must have been his first time on a plane because he put his carry-on bag under his seat. Not the seat in front of him. And you know me, I wanted to just be like, knock, knock, excuse me, knock, excuse me, guy. Knocked by the shoulder. You can't do that. You can't do that. There's a metal bar, so you actually have to go over it and wedge it down in there. And you want to go your first flight, sir? What are you doing, buddy? What are you doing? It goes in front of you. Because then I can't put my bag there. Yeah, what did you do with yours? Todd Headspace. Overhead meeting. That's brutal. Dude, you're dumb. And they're so strict about the carry-on stuff. It's like, man, don't inconvenience me because you're an idiot.

1:30:47Check your bag. You got one? I went to Disneyland over the break. Nice. Just for the day. Yeah, and we went on this newfangled splash ride, like whitewater rafting thing. Yeah. Where you, if you don't have a big group, then you share it with other people. Right. And then there's the guy that wants to, like, tip the thing. Oh, no. So you get as wet as possible. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And he's like, here we go. Oh, no. The overzealous rider? Yeah. The overzealous rider. Yes. Yeah. And I'm like, you guys ready for this? No, I'm not. You ready? No. Yeah. No. On three. No. I had another similar situation. That just reminded me of it. I was in an elevator and at the hotel there was like the wedding party and there was Icelandic gamers for their convention. Nice.

1:31:37I'm not kidding. It was the wedding party and Icelandic gamers. So on every floor, everyone knew each other. And so I'm on the elevator riding, and I'm in my bridesmaid's dress ready to go running up to do one more makeup touch-up. And every floor, it's drunk guys from Iceland. Hey, we can fit you. We can fit you. Get on. Get on. And they're piling in the elevator. Finally, I was like, no, we can't fit anyone else in here. I'm touching them. Drunk Icelandic. They're sweating. Amazing. They're singing the song about the volcano. Talking about... Pac-Man. Aye, aye, aye. That is, dude, you're dumb. 570-1949. Mikey, what about the 50-year-old guy that still likes to get his ear pierced? I love that guy. The Harrison Ford guy. Harrison Ford on his ear pierced? Oh, 100%. Except Harrison Ford's wearing an OPT shirt. Right. He's real tan, overly tan. Over, yeah. Overly tan. Yes, Sienna. Sienna's picking the music today. You've been Rickrolled. I've been Rickrolled. I do a pretty good imitation of Mr. Athlete. Let's hear it. Just really the chorus, pal. You can do some of this, right? We're no strangers to learn. You know the rules and so do I.

1:32:59You guys gotta see the Obama video. Have you seen it? I'll show it to you over the break. What is it? It's him going, never gonna give up. Oh, genius. Oh, I love it. Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry. Never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna say goodbye. When we come back. Children's Tylenol and Motrin have been recalled. I'm going to tell you why. Scary. Woods of Wisdom is coming up. And I think I saw Eskimo Blue Waters out in the hallway. She's here. Oh, boy again. Yeah. Your boy again. Yeah. Your boy again. Yeah. That's a good one. Yeah, it is. Ray Charles hit the road, Jack. Welcome to the Mikey Show. Mikey Show is me. My name is Mike. And I go by Mikey on the radio. Sophomoric, but I can't do anything about it. Stuck. Better than the Mike show. It is. Or the Michael show. The Michael show. It's awful. Oh, it's terrible. It's just that name sounds like, it's like your name is Fuzzy. It's so immature and childish. No. Hey, it's Fuzzy. Hey, it's the Stevie show. Yeah, it's, yeah, Stevie. It's the DJ Fuzzy show. Yeah, it's better than a made-up bit. Booger. Yeah, Booger and Twitch.

1:34:50Ain't nothing wrong about your tape. Number one. Number one, 14 books in a row. We know, Hoyle. That's right. It was 18. It was 18. The number changes every time. Yeah, it does. That's right. Children's Tylenol and Motrin have been recalled. Yeah. Perfect. Use both of those. Well, who doesn't with the kids? I don't. You will. Johnson & Johnson announced on Friday a recall of all these products. That are the liquid infants and children's version. That's what we use. Of Tylenol, Motrin, Zyrtec and Benadryl. Why? Because they're saying that according to the FDA, some of the medicines could have a higher concentration of active ingredients than it's supposed to. Some of them may have inactive ingredients that may not meet the testing requirements. And some of them may contain tiny particles. So they're recommending for the time being, switch to the generic brands. Do not give your kids infants or children's Tylenol, Motrin, Zyrtec, and Benadryl. You know what stinks? It's not like we're going to get...

1:35:50a notice in the mail that says, okay, safe to use again. Yeah. So how do we know when? I don't know. That's a really good question. And my wife is really diligent with that stuff. And so for her, it'll be like 2014 and she'll go, I don't know. Maybe we should. Well, I would recommend maybe just checking the Johnson & Johnson website. That's a good idea. You know what I mean? That makes so sense. I'm sure they'll pay for a lot of advertising. Like, I mean, it's not as big as the Toyota thing, but to make sure people know it's safe to use again. Well, we use this thing for teething called Highlands teething tablets. They're natural, homeopathic. There's no medicine in it. It's all natural. It says use three of these. So the addict in me is like, well, we should give them five, man. That thing ain't working. Come on, kick that sucker out. And my wife is like, are you crazy? They're tablets? Yeah, they're little tiny tablets, and they taste good, too, because the kids love them. Oh.

1:36:47You hear the Jack Daniels on the finger? That's what my mom used to do. Yeah, that's what we, I think. Little gummies? Mm-hmm. I'm a recovering alcoholic. You don't keep Jack Daniels in the house? You don't keep Jack Daniels in the house? He's not going to be rubbing that on his kids. No, I mean, it's like. Oh, he became a recovering alcoholic. Do I want to give him the taste this early? Don't give him the taste, right? From an infant, yeah. Taste. Let's see. We actually have an M1 Fuzzy on the line. Oh, nice, Fuzzy. Hey, what's up? I just called to tell you, you know, don't worry about the name. Fuzzy's worked out really good for me. Right. I'm in a band called the Morning Riot League Guitarist, and I'm cool with it. Is it a nickname, or is it a birth given? Actually, he did say childish. A kid did give me this nickname years ago, and it kind of stuck. You know, it's the way nicknames go. Why? How did you get the nickname Fuzzy? I had super long hair at the time. And some girl that I work at an elementary school, and she's like, hey, what's up, Fuzzy? And kids laughed, and it just kind of stuck. And then all my adult friends call me that now, and it's just, I'm good with it. Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. That's right. Fuzzy Wuzzy had a lot of hair. Did you guys in high school have one friend whose parents just, they were the teasing, playful parent? Did you guys have that? I'm sure, yeah. It was my dad.

1:38:13It was? Oh, yeah. My dad would walk up to you, especially as yours went by, and he'd grab you and go, oh, I'm putting a little weight on her. Really? Yeah. My buddy's dad used to be like, what are you assbags doing in here? Yeah, it was like one of those guys. Yes, that dad. You're like, we're watching a movie. He's like, you lazy bums. Just get out and mow the grass. Yeah. One of those. I had a friend named Mike Duke, and his dad was this guy. I would wear cologne over. Oh. 15 in high school. He's a shamer. Yeah, and he was this guy. Hey, Stinky. Oh, no. What you wearing? What's your perfume? I'll be that guy. He would call it perfume. Oh, my God. Hey, Stinky, what's your perfume? Shut up, Mr. Johnson. Oh, my. We got stuff like that like for girls when you start wearing makeup, there's always the people that are like, oh really? Is that a little blush? What's that? Look at you, big girl. Yeah, Captain Callout. Right, and you just smile at him and nod your head. Are those boobs growing in? Yeah, look at the little buds. Yeah, I got that a lot, actually. Hey, look at the little buds on Mikey, huh? Hey, little bud.

1:39:24How are those coming along? You got your trainer? You got your trainer? Get your little trainer on there? Looking real good. Oh, boy. What you wearing with your trainer, stinky? 100% I'll be that dad. No. Oh, yeah. Like, where are you clowns going tonight? You know, just messing with them. Yeah. 100%. When they're teenagers, when they're young, I see you being like, I need to take care. No, I don't want to. No, I know. But when they're like, when they're 15, 16. Yeah. Yeah. Fair game. M1 Robbie has an answer to the question about the Tylenol and the Motrin for the kids. Go ahead, Robbie. Hey, the manufacturers are not the manufacturers. The stores are supposed to take these off of the shelves if they're recalled. And when they're no longer recalled, then they will pack the shelves again with these products. Makes sense. That's how you'll know. Makes good sense. Thank you very much. You're welcome. That makes sense. You ready for some Woods of Wisdom? Yes. These are? Emails that we get from listeners, from M1s, that would like to ask our boy Woodsy, who is our guy's guy? Questions. Could be about anything. Could be about the way you dress. Could be about, you know, dating. It could be about any of that kind of stuff. M1 Karina emailed us and she said, Woodsy, I have a friend. She uses quotations. Quotes. She says, I have a friend that is just thrown out there to me.

1:40:53Let's have a baby. Everybody's jaws just dropped here in the studio. She says, we've known each other for almost 10 years and have participated in adult relations. So it's a guy friend. It's a guy friend, yes. Male friend. She says, we have participated in adult relations on and off for years. Both of us play our cards very close to the vest. It's never come up to date to even be in a relationship. But you just don't go around asking someone to have a baby without having some pretty strong feelings for that person, right? My question is, from a guy's point of view, what is he really asking me? Here's the crazy part. I'm seriously considering it. Oh, boy. We're getting together tonight to talk. Air quotes. Talk. Because I told him.

1:41:51That there are so many variables that I can't have a conversation over the phone. I need to have a face-to-face with him and see, quotations, what he's asking me. And then in all caps, she puts crazy, crazy, crazy. Give it to me straight, Woods. M1, Karina. What's he? Speechless. I'm speechless. This dude sounds to me like he's maybe ready to settle down with her. Like that's his little sleigh buddy and they've been together doing this for 10 years. And I'm really at a loss because I've never heard of this happening before. Different strokes for different folks. Well, for sure. I'm just saying, why not just say that? Say it. We should be together. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I feel like a couple guys that I know in my life get like that. I'm going to be a grandpa by the time I'm like. I'm a father you know they get that like okay I'm getting a little more sore every time I play a sport so they get that like oh my gosh I need to like it's the female version of the clock ticking yeah I need to like spread my seed and be able to like play sports with the kid and not be like using a cane to chase him around you know so it could be a case of that I don't know but you ain't I mean you can't just go around

1:43:11Spreading your seed to Lauren. You don't just have a baby with somebody. I'm kind of, yeah, hearing a little bit of a red flag on her side because, I mean, if she really wants to have a baby, if that's something that she really wants to do and maybe her clock is ticking, then do it. If this is a guy that you've been around 10 years, you trust him, you're comfortable with him, you think he'd be a good father. Yeah, but not comfortable enough to date him, though. But I think for him to bring it up, I don't know. I'm getting... The instinct that maybe she just wants to settle down with him and maybe not have a baby right away. She just wants to settle down with him. So maybe that's why she's jumping at the idea. Well, I believe that men and women are wired a little bit differently. And I think that especially for women, when women have sex with a dude, and I know that this is a generalization, but I think that. they attach a little bit more emotionally. And I know that there's some women that are listening right now and they're like, that's not true. Not me. I can hook up and all I just, I just want to hook up. Okay, I get it. I understand that. I've heard that before, but still, I'm going to stick to my guns. For the most part. For the most part, I think that women emotionally attach. Yes. Part of the design, I think. And so.

1:44:32Maybe I'm stating the obvious here. It smells like disaster to me. 100%. Disaster, man. Well, they've been sleeping together on and off for 10 years. As buddies. As pals. Like, you know, hey, you go out and do this, and I go out and do this, and then we maybe meet up at 2 a.m. and make it right. Hey, you hear me use this term a lot. Fast forward the tape. Yeah. What's that look like? How about it looks like this? How about she goes, yeah, okay, I'm down. Let's make a baby. Okay, so they do. And then the baby's like four months old. He lives at his place. She lives at her place. And he's like, she goes, hey, I really need some help. He's like, I got a date tonight. Yeah. It could be so bad for the child. Are you guys getting that impression that that's the way it's going to be? Yes. Because I'm kind of being the girl thinking, well, maybe he wants to be with her. But 10 years they've been sleeping together and they're not together. Which is, well, maybe they, I don't know. That's the thing. That's weird. That's why I said, if he digs her. Why isn't he saying, hey, listen, I really love you and I'd like to get married and have a kid. Maybe she's been pretty obvious from the start that she's like, oh, I'm not into, like, this is just casual and I'm not into a relationship or I'm not the marrying type or whatever. And this is his way of throwing it out there to see. To test the waters. Could be. Could be. How serious she would be. And now she's considering it. But I think, you know.

1:45:56Think about the baby. That's a disaster. Babies are such a commitment. The biggest thing you could possibly do in your life. And even if you're living in a separate house, that's going to be so hard, especially for her. Is she going to breastfeed? She's going to be up all night with a baby and not have any help. How about this? While her buddy's sleeping. She's surfing. Picks up the kid in the afternoon, you know. Woods might like this suggestion. How about they get a puppy together? 100%. Try it with a dog. Try that first. Try it with a dog. Lauren, best idea I've ever heard. That is a good idea. Try it with a dog first. See how it goes. See how that goes. All right, Woodsy, how about this one? Woodsy, I realized tonight that I am attracted to a guy that used to be a best friend of my ex-husband. To be specific, he was the best man at our wedding. Oh, wow. They are no longer friends. I am no longer married and have lived quite completely single and disinterested in men. I have two young boys, seven and five, but this guy is just simply perfect. He's great with my kids. We've always gotten along very well. Should I hit on him? 100%. M1 Irish Beauty. 100% you should. The key there, they're not buddies anymore, and you're not married. There's no encumbrances.

1:47:17At all. Fair game. Fair game. What is it with the best man and the maid of honor? Like, there's always something going on with the bride. Oh, no, no, this is the bride. No, I know, I know. But what I'm saying is, like, whenever there's, like, a cheating scandal, it's always, like, the bride with the best man. Yeah, but this isn't cheating. Or the groom with the maid of honor. Yeah, this isn't cheating. You know what I think it is? Is I think they probably spent a lot of time together. You know, and all of them is probably a group when they were first married. Now they're not married anymore. And for some reason, these guys had a falling out. They're not buddies anymore. That dude's fair game. Have a ball. Go get him. I don't see why not. Wouldn't he, in his mind, be like, oh, did John do it like this? Oh, I bet he was perfect. Maybe. I mean, that's a whole other ball of wax for those two that they've got to deal with. That's a big common thing. If this guy's on board with it and he's great with your kids, I mean, it sounds great to me. Have a ball. What do you think, LLB? You think once bro code, always bro code? I don't think so. No, not that, but I'm leaning towards what Sienna's saying. Fresh start. There's too much. It's one thing to know the name of the ex and be able to put a face with it and everything. You're like, eh. But when the exes know each other so well. Yeah. See, there's a part of me that thinks that's borrowing problems from the future. Right. Yeah. I mean, you can do it. It can work, especially because the guys are not friends anymore. That was a big, oh, okay, well, then that's not that bad. If they were friends, still no way.

1:48:47Yeah. From my point of view, if I was her, I would, I don't know. Sounds like a plot for romantic comedy, if you ask me. Yeah. But I say, in my infinite wisdom, make it happen. Go get him. Let's see. M1 Sean is calling in about the first email that we read from M1 Karina, the guy that said to the girl, let's have a baby. What do you think, Sean? Obviously, like, really digging this chick, because... It's not a typical thing for a guy to tell a chick, hey, let's just have a baby, especially if it's been on and off for 10 years. Yeah, I wonder why he just doesn't tell her, though. He feels a lot. I know. He likes her. He's got to come out and be like, listen, it's been 10 years. Like, this is how I feel now. Hopefully, you feel the same way, or I'm really parking the wrong tree with this baby thing. Mm-hmm. I appreciate it, Sean. Thank you. They're obviously comfortable with each other since they've seen each other naked so many times, you know? Well, they're friends. Yeah, and it's not like something.

1:49:48He should be able to come right out and tell her, hey, listen, I'm on board with you. Let's make it happen. Why wouldn't he? That's a roundabout way to get somebody to be with you. Sounds like a non-confrontational, passive-aggressive. Absolutely. Something Hoyle would do. Last one. You ready? Woodsy saw my 13-year-old son was surfing porn. Oh, boy. How do I approach him with the least amount of parental lameness? Is this a mom? Mom. Making him not want to be open with me and his dad. Should my husband be the one to talk to him about the subject? Not a mom subject? I want to use this as a learning thing, not a you're busted for surfing porn thing. Get where I'm coming from? That's M1 porn probs. First of all, yeah, it's husband territory. One.

1:50:44Thousand percent. The last thing you want is your mother. Ew. My mom talked to me one time about something. She did? No. And I was like, even this very moment, I'm like, how come dad didn't talk to me? Never. My moms don't do it. Unless you're a single mom. It's like a bonding. Yeah, it's not bonding. No, it's not. My mom did me. She caught me with the, yeah. And she had the whole family. It was like an intervention with porn. Oh, my God. Oh, it was awful. Are you serious? And it was just, they were playboys. Intervention. It was playboys. And so she found them right before we were going to go camping. So then on the camp out one day, we were all out there, the whole family. They have families. My sister's all married. And then we come up and we're sitting and she's like, we're all sitting in the folding chairs outside. She's like, Jay. You got ambushed. We have something to talk to you about. Oh my gosh. We all just got steamed out. We all just got steamed out. Did you vomit in your hands? I was dumbfounded. I was in denial the whole time. Did you give her the, it's just Playboy's bit. I didn't say a word because my dad and all the other husbands were standing like behind them and they were like.

1:52:00Do you think that that ends and the conversation stops and there's like a pause and then, all right, well, who's ready for s'mores? Where are you going to go? You can't escape. You're stuck with that. How does that conversation end and like move to something different? Like, and that, and so there goes, you know, so ends. The porn tales. Anyone want this hot dog? I bet Jay does. I bet Jay does. Terrible. Oh, my God. Hey, Jay, what do these look like? Dude, I say with that, I say you got to turn it over to the husband. I mean, it's dad territory. That is dad territory. That is all the way dad territory. But also, like, is that really worth saying something? Yes. Really? Yeah, he's 13. I mean, listen. Like, isn't that a normal thing? I do not believe that porn is a normal thing. In fact, what I think that porn does is porn. But it's the curiosity that's normal. But it's different. Like, when me and Mikey and Jay were younger, like, I found a penthouse when I was a kid and was like...

1:53:08And, you know, you hide it out in the woods. So you can go look at it. You don't keep it in the house. It's different now, dude. I mean, it's way different now. See, I think that I got to talk to my boy. I got to talk to him before they get there. I got to say, hey, here's what this is. And here's what your pop thinks about it. The good thing is you kill two birds with one stone. You got a pair of twins. Yeah, I know. That's true. You both sit down. Luke and Ryan. Guys, sit down. Guys. Guys. Guys, have a seat. Question. When? Yeah. Probably when they were like seven. That young? I looked at porno when I was seven. What? Did you? Yeah. No. I mean, I didn't know what it was. You know what I mean? Bro, I think I was like... eight or nine when I found that penthouse. Wow. And I didn't know what it was, but I was 100% in. I was five. All the way on board. You were five? I was five looking at Playboy. Oh my gosh. That was when you were at the campfire? No, that's not what you called me. That's what I was looking at. That would be an intervention. See, the reason that I, and this is what I'll tell my boys. I'll say, guys, the problem is, is it's a lie. Here's what I mean about porn being a lie.

1:54:17I think that it tells guys this is what women are supposed to look like. This is what they're supposed to act like. This is what they're supposed to be like. And whether or not a guy gets that or not, consciously, that's what they dig. They go, oh, that looks good. That looks good. That looks good. And then they expect that from their wife or their whatever. And that ain't life, bro. That ain't life. It's a lie. What a fitting song. Just go ahead and say it, parents. All your kids over. You gotta have a porn conversation. You gotta sit those boys right down. Seven sounds so young to me, but I guess it's because you had older brothers. You're not as young as you think it is. And you're telling no penthouse. Oh, wow. Don't be looking at porn today. Don't be looking at porn today. Say what you need to say. Say what you need to say. What American Idol is this? It's good. Hinder. It's Hinder. Hinder. Yes.

1:55:59It's a good song. Instantly like it. Wait for the chorus. Here it comes. It's good. Kind of likes it too, huh? Yeah, it hits you and it's like, oh, that's catchy. It's catchy. If something's catchy, forget it. I'm all in. It's catchy. I just didn't like that Nips of an Angel song. Ah, Nips. I thought you guys were going to make it. You have the Nips of an Angel. The Nips of an Angel. Wow, that's good. That should be on a shirt. Nips of an angel. I'm going to give you guys a million guesses, and you probably won't be able to tell me who this woman is rapping. I can't wait. And if you think you know, just say it. That's a woman? It's a woman. What? She is. Rosie O'Donnell? Nope. Huh. Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, God. Why? She did it as a bit. That was... What? And that was Jimmy Fallon with her. I didn't even hear a girl's voice at all. Yeah.

1:57:35That was Gwyneth Paltrow and Jimmy Fallon. That was her right there? Yeah. My brother Mark loves her, goes to her website. Her website? Yeah, he goes to her website and he'll forward me, hey, this is Gwyneth's recipe from this month. Really? Mark, really? Yeah, Mark. She has this website and it talks about like, oh. like Gwyneth's picks. And it's like stuff that Jennifer Aniston could afford, but the regular person's like, oh great, I'm just going to drop three grand on moisturizer. Well, it's also like her recipe for a cake. My brother will make it. Mikey and I would. It's got diamond flecks in it. Yeah, right. But yeah, my brother...

1:58:29He loves it. Really? I don't know why. That's so weird. I used to like her, and I saw an interview of her on David Letterman or something, and she was so, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Did you ever hear her sing, though? She can sing. Oh, yeah, she can sing great. Her and Huey Lewis doing Cruisin'. It's amazing. It's really good. You ever heard that, Sienna? It's really good. Well, I love Huey Lewis. I like her mom more. She seems really fun. Does she have a famous mom? Blythe Danner from Meet the Parents. She's a very attractive older lady. Oh, totally know that lady. You know Meet the Parents? Robert De Niro's wife. Oh, yeah, that's right. You've seen Meet the Parents. You have. Have you? Mikey. Dude. Esparza. Haven't seen it. What the heck? You have a problem. How is that possible? What do you watch? This is Gwyneth Paltrow singing. I have this on my iPod. So does JV. Who doesn't? We sing it together. You know that. You do? Yeah. Oh, wow. I wish I had video of that. You know that. Oh, I wish I had video of that. You guys should make a music video with Penny Bell in the middle. I go. Baby, let's cruise. Wow. Dude, that is good. That's good. Hey, that's Honey. Oh, it is. She's great. Yeah. Don't be confused. Isn't that awesome? She could have been a singer.

1:59:49Yeah, it's phenomenal. It's phenomenal. A lot of actors are like triple threats because they grew up being performing kids, you know? They can sing, dance, and act. Dude, how great. How great is Crazy Heart and Jeff Bridges singing as an old country dude? And Colin Farrell. He's great. He's phenomenal. Colin Farrell is great. I know. I love that song that you put on your list. Me too. Falling and Flying? Yeah. That was a great song. That song gets in your vein. When I heard it outside of, because I, what did I, wasn't I like, is this Jeff Daniels? Yeah. An idiot when it came on, the bumper music. But when I heard it in the movie, I was like, ooh, I want it. I need it. It's so good. I like it. I burned Jay a copy. I'll burn you ladies a copy. I want a copy. I burned Micah a copy too. It's really good. Nice. It's really good. Hey, speaking of music, Eskimo Blue Waters is here. She wants to come in and plug her stuff. Come on in. Hey, look who's here. Hi, Eskimo. Eskimo. I wonder what her real name is. I don't know. What are you guys talking about? She said it's Eskimo. That is my name. You've got a really smoky voice. Here's the thing with Eskimo Blue Waters. She comes in, she's got on the shades indoors. Yeah.

2:01:03Very rock and roll. Very rock and roll. Cowboy hat, layered necklaces. Yeah, I didn't bring my axe today, though. You didn't bring your axe? No. I noticed that. Yeah. You got an iPod that you want to plug in. Yeah, because, you know, I was messing around in Woods' Beat Laboratory, just playing out with Grunge Band and stuff like that. I have a beat laboratory. Do you really? Yeah, you know that. And what were you doing? You were putting together some beats? I came out with a new jam, you know? Here's the thing about Eskimo. Let's hear it. There are many things. Well, there's a lot of things. But one of the things about Eskimo, she's looking at me right now like, yeah, what? What is it? Exactly. Maybe I'll go get my ex. Those are cool cowboy boots, by the way. Steel toe. No big deal. Where do you even buy those? I didn't say they were. I didn't act like they were. A little place called the Cowboy Junction. Is that where? In cahoots. Do a little dance moves. Do you? Yeah. So she came in here last time. She sang a song for us, but... I did. She said she wrote it, but holy cow, did it sound like Jewel. It sounded a lot like Jewel. Yeah, and you guys are crazy. I went back and I listened to that song. You did? And I was like, it's kind of cheesy. It's essentially the same. It was the same song, really. I didn't hear it. You didn't hear it? I didn't hear it. What's Jewel's song called? Do you remember?

2:02:33Uh, no. You were meant for me. You were meant for me. What was yours? Mine was called, I was meant for you. Okay. Just wanted to clear that out. I don't really see what you guys are talking about. Yeah, no, totally. There's no coincidence. Got it. And she was plugging her gigs and stuff. She was playing Benny Hanna. You guys can yuck it up. Snow cone stand. Humble beginnings, okay? Yeah, no, I get it. I don't know if you saw me at the Padres game the other night. I was there. I was at the Padres game. I didn't see you. I was at the Padres game. I didn't see you sing the national anthem. Oh, you were there in Escondido? The Padres played downtown. San Diego Padres? It was the Little League. The Padres played the Rockies. The Little Padres, okay. Yeah, the Little Padres. You sang the national anthem, though. In Escondido. That's pretty awesome. Eight o'clock on a Sunday morning? Yeah. Yeah, it's a gig, you know? Yeah, no, hey, you know what? You're gigging. You are gigging, man. I am gigging. I'm working on a record right now. You're working on a record? I'm working on a record, yeah, with Rick Rubin. Rick Rubin did... He did everything. He did Run DMC, Johnny Cash. No, no, no, it's not that Rick Rubin. It's not the producer. Oh, who is it? He's actually my dentist. But he's got a Mac. He's got a Mac!

2:03:51Yeah. Really? We've just been knocking some stuff around. Oh, wow. He's actually, yeah, he's got Final Cut, so it's kind of like a, oh, I'm sorry, Pro Tools. Pro Tools. That's the one. He's a dentist. Can I get a water? Yeah, here. Pipes are kind of dry. Here you go. Slug that down. Yeah, take that. There you go. There you go. Thanks, guys. Sure, anytime. Eskimo Blue Waters. So, yeah, that album is going to be coming out soon. It's called Pieces of You. Wait, wait, wait. Jewel's album was Pieces of Me. What? You know, the Jewel album. Remember what we said? It's called Pieces of Me. Isn't it, Sienna? It's Pieces of Me. Yeah. And? Mine's called Pieces of You. Well, that's kind of similar, don't you think? People are going to draw the comparison. Me, you, are we the same, Mike? No, but I mean. She makes a good voice. Eskimo Blue Waters, Michael Esparza. They're different. They're different, definitely, but. Pieces of You. Those are really similar. Yeah. Really similar. Well, you know. Eskimo. Yes. Let me ask you. You got your iPod. I do. Why don't you showcase yourself for the audience? That way people can hear you, and then maybe you tell us about your gigs and all that kind of stuff. And this is an original. This is an original. Okay. You wrote this. Like I said, I didn't bring my axe because it's something different. I'm working on some beats. Okay. And this one, yeah, I think you guys are going to dig it. Let's hear it. Pieces of You is going to be...

2:05:18Really different. It's going to be a mix of things. So here's just one of the things I'm working on. Let's hear it. You guys ready? Yep. Yep. Oh, honey, when you speak to me, it makes the girl go insane. So stay smart and just keep watching my body language. I'm here today. You know my legs tell the truth and I'm starting to feel the truth. Body chemistry is fiction. Can't you see, darling, this is exquisite. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me, Eskimo. Yeah. Can I get some more volume? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'll work that out for you. We gotta get the mix right. Did you say my hips tell the truth or what did you say? No, I said legs tell truth. My legs tell the truth. My legs tell the truth. Your voice was way different, too. Yeah, it was different because it was different like Shakira. It sounded exactly like Shakira. Yeah, it was. She's got a song called Hips Don't Lie. Yeah. It's called what? Her song is called Hips Don't Lie and your song is called Legs Tell Truth. So, first of all. Yeah, no, you're defensive immediately. I don't do things with my hips. I feel it all in my legs. Yeah, so you know what? Just write about it and then put beats to it. Why not? Yeah. I'll tell you what. Let's try to keep an open mind. We'll do it again. We'll hear it again. We'll try to keep an open mind with it. Okay. Let me, yeah, this is the best part. Okay. Are you guys ready? Yep. Okay.

2:06:49here today you know my legs tell truth and I'm starting to feel the proof. What was that? Stop. My legs tell truth and I'm starting to feel the proof? Eskimo. It's not supposed to be funny. Oh my god. It's not a parody. Eskimo. Eskimo. Isn't it? What? Wow. Yeah, because it's like the same. You're saying you put that together in your beat laboratory. Oh yeah. Do you like it? I liked it the first time when Shakira did it. I don't know who Sharika is. Really? Shakira. Shakira. I kind of added like a Caribbean sound. Did you? Yeah. I'm trying to mix it up a little bit. What in the world? You know, acoustic musicians are like a dime a dozen. Yeah, they are. Apparently this gem character you guys keep talking about. Jewel. Jewel. Jewel. Emerald. Whatever. Now see. Last time she was in, she claimed that she doesn't know who Jewel is because she's been sleeping in her Mustang. Living out of her Mustang with her boyfriend, Steve Maltz. Even though she knows full well that Jewel used to date Steve Paltz. Steve Paltz, Steve Maltz are two completely different people. And Jewel used to live out of a car too, didn't she? Her van. In San Diego. Well, some people can be minimalists.

2:08:10Mustangs a lot smaller. Got it. Wow. Why don't you just give us that beginning one more time, if you can. If you could throw that beginning at the beginning of the song. We kind of judged it quickly, I think. We jumped to conclusions. Okay. You guys ready? Yep. I'm going to start from the top. Yeah. From the top of the record. Oh, honey, when you speak to me, it makes a go-go insane. Oh, my God. So stay smart and just keep... Watch my body language. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Okay. My body language? What? You really got it going. Well, are you going to be doing any gigs? Yeah, is it cool to plug in? Yeah, for sure. I'll be in the ladies' room at Mr. A's this weekend if everything works out. That's really awkward. You're going to be at the ladies' room at Mr. A's. I'm crossing my fingers because Mr. A's is pretty big to us. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it should be a blast. I'm working with a new girl. Her name is Asakori Yamachi. Okay, got it.

2:09:15Got it. Well, that should be fun. It sounds like it'd be a good time. Is she the bathroom attendant? I think she works at the bathroom attendant. Oh, okay. Yeah, she works at the bathroom attendant. She's one of the hands of the paper doll. She's quite a percussionist as well. Is she really? Probably honored to be working with her. Do you have like a nickname or something? You have a really long name. Maybe it'll be easier for people to remember. Yeah, maybe if you just shorten your name up, if you just call yourself Mo or something. Does anyone call you like Esky? Esky. How about EBW? EBW. I like that. Eskimo Blue Waters, EBW. It's good. It's catchy. I'm really a fan of that. Yeah. Eskimo Blue Waters is pretty memorable. That's cool. Everyone says, hey, Eskimo Blue Waters, what's up? Every time? Kind of a tough thing. What about your mom? Yeah. It's kind of hard to chant, too. Eskimo Blue Waters. Yeah, keep doing that, guys. Yeah, the snow cone stand. Snow cone stand. But anyway, I have another show coming up, and it's not open to the public. Oh, really? Why not? Well, it's a private gig for Grocery Baggers Union, but it's not really a short thing yet. Oh, my God. Yeah. Are you nervous? Yeah, you know, I'm super nervous because they haven't decided. Like, it's either me or Bungo the Balloon Shaper they want to use. You'll totally get it. They're going to see you. You'll do great. You'll do great.

2:10:33I don't actually charge anything. Bongo the balloon shaper? Yeah, Bongo the balloon shaper. He's pretty well known around the entertainment circuit. But they're going to think it over. Can I get that water? Yeah, yeah. Why are you nervous right now? Yeah, well, you know, I mean, if you're just, if you're working on a gig with the grocery baggers. Anyway, if you guys can talk to Garrett and see if you can get Legs Tell Truth into it. We'll talk to our program director and see if he'll throw that on Legs Tell Truth. That was just my live, unedited version. Give him a second of it again. What part do you have, the first part or the second part? Either part. Yeah, second part if you got it, because I thought that was the part where you really nailed kind of the whole feeling of it. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to get it queued up again. Here we go. I'm here today, you know my legs tell truth, and I'm starting to feel the room. Thank you, thank you, Eskimo. Yeah, that'll do it. I think that's enough. I think that's plenty. That's probably plenty. There we go. I was waiting for the applause. Yeah, yeah, there it is. There it is. Hey, kids.

2:11:38Thanks, Jessica. Good to see you. Rock and roll. Don't forget, you'll see me in Mr. Hayes. Yeah, Mr. Hayes. We'll be looking for you. Oh, man. See you later. Man, it smells like patchouli oil in here, doesn't it? She really wears a lot of the patchouli oil. That girl is tough. She really is hardened. Like, I'm nervous around her. She's very hardened. Good luck with the grocery baggers union gig. It's a big one. Well, if Bungo the balloon shaper. You know it's good. Well, she said, like, whoever does the lowest bid. Yeah, whoever bids the lowest bid. And she said she doesn't charge any. She's not charging, though. And they're still thinking it over. They still got to think it over to come to the right decision. Oh, man. That's brilliant. Let's see. We got an email. Let me read you this email. and people can call about it, 570-1949, or text 949mikey at gmail.com. Mikey, love listening to you guys every morning, and I was hoping you guys could help me out with a little dilemma I'm having. I started dating this guy about three months ago, and everything is going great except for one thing. His previous relationship before me was pretty serious. He lived with his ex for a couple of years. They even had two dogs together. Here's the weird part.

2:13:01They broke up over a year ago, and they still share custody of the dogs. Oh, wow. I hate that they still see each other every weekend when they switch the dogs. I mean, dot, dot, dot. Really? They're dogs, not kids. I haven't said anything to him about how I feel. Do you think I should help M1 Cruella? Wow. Wow is right. That would freak me out too, I think. I get why she's Cruella. Why? Because in the movie 101 Dalmatians, she doesn't like the dogs. Cruella DeVille. Cruella DeVille. This is a very difficult one for me because I know, Woodsy can speak to this. There are some folks that really, Woodsy included, that feels like his dogs are like his kids. There is no difference between having dog and having kids. And I understand that. I mean, that's the way you feel and, you know, you're allowed. And so this guy and this girl obviously must feel that way about the dogs. This is something that you'll often hear me say.

2:14:16You had to know that going into this relationship that that's who your dude is. You don't realize that halfway through a relationship. Oh, this is the way he feels. You kind of, I mean, I guess my overall sentence to this lady is. This surprises you? I kind of see where she's coming from. Three months is when you're really starting to, like, get comfortable now. And you're starting to care. And kind of in the beginning, you'll let things slip a little bit because you're new and you like him. And then once, you know, it gets to the point where, like, even the arguments start and things, you know, like, she's just now maybe getting to that point. And maybe she thought the more serious he became with her. The worst. You know what I mean? I'll change him. We all make those mistakes. It's the worst one. You're not going to change people. And you can't really just drop off dogs, can you? They probably have to hang out for a little bit. The exes? Oh, yeah, right? Here's the deal. No, no, no, no. You drop them off, right? Like custody, and you pick them up later. So, okay. Now, I believe people can change if they want to change, and so it's very possible that he could, of his own volition, say,

2:15:28ah, you know what, I'm going to let her have the dogs. Yeah. Because I've said that. I believe people can change, but they have to want it. Yeah. I know, like, Todd loves our dog, and I would never give up our dog. If he wanted to share, I would share custody of our dog. Yeah. But I'm pretty positive he would let me keep the dog. He would. Yeah, because that's a hard thing to do. Yeah. It's one thing if it's kids. Kids have to see their parents, you know? Not necessarily dogs. Woods, as the dog guy on the show, what do you think? You'll be surprised. You'll be real surprised. Get out of here. Yeah. I'd say, Jamie and I had split before when we had all the dogs, and I said, they're yours. Take them. Really? Yeah, and I didn't see them, and it killed me. It ripped my soul out. Like, this is the most shocking thing you could have said. It was, you know, we'd split up, and when I would happen to see her, I mean, I wouldn't go over and be like, okay, I get Penny and Lucky and Sunny and Savannah and Shooter for the weekend. Yeah, because you have so many dogs. What if you split the dogs? Yeah, our thing was always, it's why I didn't bring one or two out when I moved. We didn't want to separate them. They're a family. Those little guys are like brothers and sisters. So if you take one, you got to take them all. I don't believe that for a minute. What do you mean? You should see them.

2:16:42I think dogs will adjust. I don't think that they have to have each other. I mean, if you're saying that, then when they're puppies, you're taking them away from their mother and all the little brothers and sisters and they survive. Everybody that's going through the same situation. But brother, they're also very, very, they're new. They're like, they're very new. So when they have grown, you know, when. Penny and Lucky are accustomed to each other now. You take one away. We took Penny by ourselves yesterday, me and Jamie. You should have seen the other dogs when we got home. They were mad at her. They all attacked her because she got to go with mom and dad. It's the weirdest thing. So when you're gone, do you think they suffer? But you're going to leave the house, so maybe you should stay together for the sake of the dogs. Well, no, but I mean, like I'm saying, with this couple, you got to go one way or the other. One of them's got to take them both. I have a question. I have a question, Woodsy. Because you make the argument that dogs are like your kids. Yes. But you would never do that if it was your kids. You would never say to your... Never. Never. No. I wouldn't. So does that mean then that you're drawing a distinction? Yeah, there's obviously a distinction. Obviously. Honestly, I'm being completely honest with you here. You really did have me convinced that there was absolutely...

2:17:57No difference. And I had to check myself. And I was like, I will never, ever, ever, ever say anything like otherwise when I'm talking to you because I had to get into a place in my head where I'm like, hey, man, that's his kids. And I got to get to a place, you know, where I don't ever broach that. It's weird for us. They are. They are our children. However, it was me saying they need they are better off together. And with her, who didn't work, you know, she worked from home, she could spend more time with them than they would be with me. Well, and you can't rationalize with a dog the way you could rationalize maybe with a kid and say, like, okay, daddy's just going to... Figure some things out. Right, right. I mean, they don't obviously speak your language. Back to the email, does she, you know, like, is that something that you can even confront your boyfriend about? Sure. Like, do you make him choose? You can, well, this is what I always say. I always say it's fine to tell people how you feel. It's wrong to rub your feelings all over their face. Right. Yeah. So I think it's fine to say to the guy, hey, it makes me feel weird. A little uncomfortable. Yeah.

2:19:04that you're spending this time with your ex and it's with the dogs, it makes me uncomfortable. It would be wrong to say, you better stop doing that because I don't like it and you better knock that off. Or I'm out. Yeah. Well, the other point I want to make is, how long is this broken up couple going to do this? Yeah. I mean, how long are they going to do it for? Until the dog dies? I actually know a couple, one of my friend's parents, that they've been divorced for probably... 10 years and they still share custody of one dog. Yeah. That's weird. See, I dated a guy for like three weeks and when he played the, it was right before the holidays and he was like, yeah, I'm going to go. I'm going to go out of town and go see my dog. I'm like, what, has he had a kennel or something? He's like, oh, no, he's with my ex. Oh, boy. So I'm like, okay, so you're going to see your ex? Yeah, basically you're going to see your ex. Done. No, no, no. So basically you're going to sleep with your ex. Yeah, with your ex. This relationship is over. That's right. That's weird. Oh, yes, man. I love it. P-Y-T. Pretty young thing. Yeah. Doesn't that sound good in your eardrums? Yes.

2:20:12Always. By the way, I went on the Captain EO ride at Disneyland. That's back? Weird. That's back? Yes. Remember, Seattle reported on it. That's right. That's right. 94.9, Mike. Check it out. You may have already seen this circulating on YouTube and a bunch of other places on the internet, but there's a 14-year-old girl in Britain, and she went on that show, Britain's Got Talent, and she sang Sarah McLachlan's song, Angel. Now, everybody's making a big deal about how amazing it is, right? I'm going to play it for you. I'm not trying to cause any problems here. I'm saying I heard it, and I was, you know, that's just me. I was like, okay, okay. No Susan Boyle? Yeah, she's no unicorn. You're no unicorn. But you be the judge. We'll play it next. That would be a good break the lyrics down.

2:21:36I mean, at some point, that occurred to the Kellys. One of the girls. Khalees. Khalees, is that how it is? Not like multiple Kellys. It's one girl? Yeah. Her name is Khalees? Khalees, yeah. I mean, one day. Is that Nas' girlfriend? Who's girlfriend is that? I think they're his wife now. I like Nas. She was sitting there, and she was like, what? Milkshake. I think that my milkshake does bring the boys to the yard. Yeah. It does. She's like thinking about it. She's like, yeah, you know what? It does. It does. And it works. Brings the boys to you.

2:22:15I'm going to write that down. Does a milkshake? Okay, this is going to sound really stupid. Is it a part of her body or is it the way that she shakes? No, it's the way she shakes. It's her milkshake. Oh, I thought it was a part of the body. I do the milkshake a lot, obviously. I think it's her butt. I thought it was like a rump shake. Like a shimmy. No, I thought it was the... The butt cheeks that go in a circle. Wow. Don't ever do that again. I didn't really give it, but I get... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't do that again. Don't you have to really... Poke out the... It's a gift, yeah. Right? Don't do it again. I can't put on gold short shorts and do it again. No, don't do it again. Are you sure? I'm positive. You don't want me to put on shorts that look like drapes, but they're gold. No. I do not. I don't want to see that butt shaking. Think about it. And then I give you the... She sang that song, Ambose. Oh, yeah. Don't know that one. Oh, that was a hit. She was on fire for like a half an hour. Yeah, half an hour. Dropped off. Weird. Let's see. That never happens. Okay, so yeah, let's do this, the 14-year-old, okay? This is a 14-year-old kid. We don't want to do any 14-year-olds. No kidding, Mike. Felthers. Felthers. Bunch of felthers. So here's a 14-year-old on the TV show Britain's Got Talent. Yeah. What's your name? Olivia Archbold. Olivia Archbold. I love that. Amazing, I love that accent. 14. Come to do.

2:23:43I've come to sing. What are you going to sing? In the arms of the angels. Excuse me. It's just... It's not. It's just called angels. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. I understand, but she's... It's not called that. It's called angel. It's called angel. All right, sweetheart. In the arms of an angel. The other judges are like, stop saying... Excuse me. Excuse me. Am I right or am I right? She said it right and it's wrong. Sharon. She's the one that said it wrong. Okay. Love that song. Love that song. All right, well, when you're ready. Off you go, then. Off you go. All right, then. Cheerio. Is it, Simon? It is. Maybe it is. Is it Simon? It is Simon. He does both. He does both. Dude, that's good. It is good. It is good. But I was, I don't know what I was expecting. She's 14. I want to hear more. I want to hear more. She sounds mature. She does. Yes, she does. Dude. I thought she was going to be awful. She's phenomenal. She's phenomenal. Listen, she's not awful. I'm just saying.

2:25:06It might be better with the visual, Mike, because if you just heard Susan Boyle straight out, you'd be like, yeah, that's good. Nothing I haven't heard before, but when you see it come out of someone's... Maybe that's the deal. No, as meek as her and kind of like... She was so shy and not confident. So maybe the girl looks just like a little girl with this wicked Houston voice. It ain't that... Taiwanese boy. Please. But that was a little boy from another country. Stop it. Well, I guess she's from another country. A little transgender. This is a boy from Taiwan. Yeah. It's a little boy. With no peas. He has a peas. No, he doesn't. This is more amazing. He's not very big yet. I would. I would. Onry. Listen. But that's amazing. That's amazing. Is it? I think that's amazing. That sounds better than Whitney. And you're talking about, first of all, a little boy, but he doesn't even speak English as his native language. It's amazing. The fact that he can even get the intonation right and everything. I agree. I agree with that. All right, let's hear more of her.

2:26:27That's phenomenal. That's good, Mike. That's phenomenal. I'm dying to hear what Simon has to say. Okay, so you're saying, I play this, I don't give any buildup to it. You say, that's amazing. I say, that's incredible. Is it incredible because she's 14 or is it just flat out incredible regardless of the age? It sounds great. She has a really nice voice. Yes, it's very nice. I think I was expecting more Sarah McLaughlin-y sounding. Or McLaughlin. Fine. Celine Dion, maybe. I thought it was Celine Dion. You know what I love about this? What? It's on Britain's Got Talent and you hear people cheering. They don't do that here. On American Idol, it's like just silence. I think the cheering helps. Okay, it's really good. That's good. Yeah, it's really, I don't feel like it's anything I haven't heard. It's no Eskimo Blue Waters. It is not Eskimo Blue Waters. Just then, the most recent part, I was kind of like, I'm getting bored. That song, though, I think that song kills me because it's those PETA commercials and all those sad animals. I change it. I can't watch that. I'm just bleeping. So you want to hear what Simon Cowell? More than anything. So here's what Simon Cowell said about her. Dreadful. You're so nervous, Olivia. And even now you're shaking. We've had a lot of kid singers come out. I don't want to say kid. I mean, you're 14. Young singers. 14. Taking on a song which is just...

2:28:09way way too big for them you sang that so well and you made it your version oh you redeemed yourself the audience thought he was gonna tear apart he's such a curmudgeon you know what i think he's honest though i like simon i do too i don't even watch american idol but the little clips that we hear he's the only one that tells the truth why would he i just think he's a tool He told someone once, you sound like a cat jumping off the Empire State Building. Better than giving him balls home. That was the best. You sounded a bit like a cat jumping off the Empire State Building. That's not a very good review. No. What if they actually did? What if they sang and they were like... Right? I just don't like him and I don't like that show. Out. That's not how it's done, pal. Number one show in America, bro. Dude. I don't watch it either, but I used to. I can't stay up there. That's not how it's done, pal. I wish I could watch Britain's Got Talent. I think I like that one better. That's not how it's done. Do you get what he's saying? What? That's not how you do it. That's not how you find talent. Yes, you can find talent anywhere. Those are people that don't have the money. That's not how you get famous, pal. They don't have the ability. You do it in the garage, blood, sweat, and tears. Really? Yeah. Maybe they did. You know what, bro? There's a lot of talented people that don't get discovered that way. Oh, well. Kelly Clarkson, all right? She's a real good singer. Yeah, she's fine. Carrie Underwood?

2:29:34Carrie Underwood, bro, Grammy Award winning. She was real good. She couldn't get found. What are you saying? If she was good enough, she could have gotten found. No, that's not true. Some people just don't have the opportunity. She had never even met on an airplane. Carrie Underwood had never even met on an airplane before American Idol. Sucks for her. It's all about right place, right time, being ready for the opportunity. That's the deal. Some people wouldn't have that opportunity. Get out there. Grab your guitar. Get in your garage. Blood, sweat, and tears. Write some songs. You think Bruce Springsteen would ever go on American Idol? Yeah, if he wasn't getting discovered. No, he wouldn't. If he was young. It depends on what you're going for. What about Eddie Vedder? You think Eddie Vedder would ever go on American Idol? No, he wouldn't. Zero percent. Kurt Cobain, zero percent. The guy from Hinder? The Eddie Vedder and the... Kurt Cobain that we know in our consciousness now, we would go, of course they wouldn't. You know why? Because they've recorded 10 and they've recorded Bleach and they've recorded all those albums. But before all that, maybe they would have.

2:30:34Those are more about the band as a collective and about the songs, the actual music. These are more about just singers. Yeah. That's very true. That they sometimes don't have an outlet. I know. But the thing that drives me nuts about that show is all those people that just make it so great, like Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken and David Cook that are just awful. Awful. Really? Yes. David Cook is one of the worst things I've ever heard. Mike, have you ever seen the Bulgarian Idol clip of the girl singing? She's supposed to be singing Can't Live. Ken Lee. But it's Ken Lee. No. She's supposed to be singing Mariah Carey. Ken Lee, to live or live without you. No, but I want to. She's singing Ken Lee. No. Ken Lee. Genius. I'll watch it. 570-1949 is our number. Or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. You think Bad Blake would ever go on American Idol? That's all I have to say. Maybe before Bad Blake was discovered. Never. Guy will play at Bowling Alley before he'll play American Idol. Yeah, that's true. Bad Blake would have played, if it meant restoring his career, he'd have done it. No way. He didn't even want to open for Tommy Sweet. That's because Tommy...

2:31:45We're talking about a movie. We're talking about a movie. I can't believe what you just got me to do. The movie is crazy hard. I can't believe what you just got me to do. You got me to get passionate and debate you about a fictitious character. How did you rope me into that? It's good at what he does. I guess so. You got me. Yeah. It really is a good movie. It is. It really is a good movie. Watch it again this weekend. Let's see. Okay, so this is good, right? Check this out. I am not familiar with the song, but it doesn't matter. You don't have to be in order to play along. There's a song by Lady Gaga. It's very popular. It's called Telephone. This is it. The significance will become apparent in just a moment. Time Magazine just named her one of the most influential people in the world. Top 100. Give it a year. All our music. Catchy. So syphilis. I don't want my kids listening to it because the lyrics gross me out. You should see the video. Oh, the video is nasty. She's got no clothes on. Maybe I'll check it out. Oh, it's nasty. Now, so that's Lady Gaga's hit. It's called Telephone. Apparently, Britney Spears was given the song first, recorded it, and now it's leaked and it's all over the internet. Oh, I'm so excited. So which one do you think sounds better?

2:33:28Britney. This is Britney's. No way. Because none of them write their own music. It's the exact same composition. Yeah, it's the same song. Yeah. Auto-tune. Auto-tune. Wait a minute. I kind of like Britney's better. I would much rather watch Britney perform this than Lady Gaga. Here's what I think is the most interesting is when somebody thinks, oh, that's a turd. Yeah. Pass. On that. Yeah, like she heard it and she was like, she recorded it and she's like, eh. Oh, it was up to Britney. Well, probably. Probably. Yeah. Or some, I mean, someone. Let's say it wasn't. I would assume it is, but let's say it wasn't. Let's say it was a record company executive and he went, eh.

2:34:27So is she kicking the crap out of whoever passed? Sure, right? It's the same concept like when an agent says, this movie isn't right for you. And then it goes on to be called Raiders of the Lost Ark. Tom Selleck turned down that role. But Lady Gaga's hot right now. Britney's kind of like, eh. She's on the fringe. So Lady Gaga could put out... Anything. I think that Britney will outsell Lady Gaga because Britney has the most loyal, crazy fans I've ever seen. But they're like 30 now. No, it doesn't matter. They're still fans. You know, it's weird. Her concert sold out so fast. Britney's. It's a trip, too, because a lot of times you'll hear a song and you'll hear that somebody passed on it and you'll go, man, it does sound like. their song. I could hear them doing it. So computerized, they sound exactly the same. You know what I mean? Christina Aguilera passed on a song that Kelly Clarkson decided to record called Miss Independent. Oh, wow. And when you hear it, you go, yeah, I could hear Christina doing that song. But Christina was like, it's beneath me. Don't need it. Don't want it. Kelly Clarkson had a huge hit with it and sold about a gajillion records. Maybe write your own music.

2:35:42And when you hear it, you go, yeah, I guess I could hear Christina Aguilera doing that. Totally. And she probably would have killed it. She would have been great. I'm going to start writing crap songs. Really? I am, dude. I'm going to start writing crap songs. What constitutes? Sending them to that. Sending them to- Describe to Miss Independent. Just run them by me and I'll be like, it's a hit. It's a hit, yeah. There's an art form to writing catchy songs. Yeah, to writing crap songs, I know. No, they're catchy. Oh, I thought you said crappy. See, he says that, but he's got so many guilty pleasures. He says it, but I believe that he actually- Those aren't guilty pleasures of mine like that. Like, the carpenters are a guilty pleasure of mine, but she can sing. I hear Christina would kill it. You don't have to think about it too much. No, it's just catchy. Yeah, it's like cleaning your apartment in your underwear, music. Well, Lauren does that. She does do that. Oh, you know I'd be dusting the family. Oh, yeah. You'd be swiffering it up, girl. Get my new apartment. Get it. M1 Dave, hi. Hey, what's going on? What up? I hate both of those versions, but I guess you can say Lady Gaga can sing and Britney can't. That's why they ought to tune in. Yeah.

2:36:57That auto-tune does a lot for people, don't it? Boy, Mikey loves that auto-tune. I do. It sounds sweet in my ears. Lady Gaga is a pretty talented musician. She doesn't showcase it all in all of her songs, but she was a little bit of a prodigy when she was younger. There's a lot of people I think that that's a deal, but when you say it and it comes out of your mouth, it sounds lame. I'm telling you, man. Stevie Nicks just wrote this in that same Time magazine article. said that she thinks that Taylor Swift is a brilliant kid. Yeah, she writes her own stuff. She writes her own music, she plays guitar, and she's won a couple of Grammys. Her voice isn't that great. Stevie Nicks says she's in on her, then I'm in on her. But she said she's... I don't think she said she was super talented. No, she was... Oh, yeah. Oh, she did? She thinks she's a major... And she said... She didn't want to get on stage with her because she's overweight, and they invited her. She's like, I'm not doing it. I'm not getting on stage. Stevie's lost to Steph. I saw her a couple years ago. She can't hit those high notes anymore. Everything goes down an octave, but still. Landslide brought me down. But she's a legend. When she walked on stage, your boy got chills. Yeah. That's what I grew up on. Dude. Amazing. Fleetwood Mac stuff.

2:38:11Oh, it's the best. Silver Springs. Oh, yeah. That is good stuff. I love her. That's real good. Yep. I just love her story, too, dude. She's waiting tables so that Lindsey Buckingham could make it. Yeah, they were. They were together forever. They were boyfriend, girlfriend, recording artists. Buckingham Knicks. Buckingham Knicks. And it was terrible. It didn't sell any music. They didn't sell any records. She went way to tables so Lindsay could stay home and write music and play and paid for everything. And then they both got into Fleetwood Mac and the rest is history. Wow. Yeah, because John McVie, Christine McVie, and Mick Fleetwood had their little band and it wasn't doing anything either. But you put the two together, Peanut Butter and Jelly.

2:39:20It was explosive. They put the two of them together and immediately... In fact, I have a documentary on... I'll loan it to you, Woodsy. What? It's a documentary on the making of the album Rumors. I gotta have it. I gotta have it. It'll make the hair on your arm stand up. I gotta have it. Like tomorrow. One of the things that they do in this documentary that's incredible is they're in the studio and they're reliving... Like the engineers that engineered the album in a studio and they're going through and sort of reliving when they recorded it, right? And it's a very famous recording studio somewhere up in Northern California in San Francisco. And they're playing the music and the engineers do this thing where they go, watch this. And they take a couple of the sliders on the board and they remove the music. And you just hear all of them harmonizing together. So cool. And he just kind of looks at the camera like. Really? Right? Yep. And they knew. I mean, as soon as they heard them all sing together, they were like. We are good. I love him and I love her. Oh, is that good? Let's all try it. Never going back again. Doesn't have the same. Kind of doesn't have the same. Does it not? No, not really. Now, all of them together.

2:41:02All of them singing together. Something happens. When times go bad, when times go rough, the oceans lay me down in the tall grass and let me do my stuff. I'm not singing. Say what? I said, notice I'm not singing. Never heard either of these. That's shocking. I love how I was doing the low harmony. I was doing the high. I like how you look at each other. Like this. Like you're in a country band. And I put my finger in my ear to get the right pitch. That's awesome. Okay, so check this out. We're going to do Would You Rather in a minute. Nice. We've got a 911 call to play for you, too. We'll have to tell you all about that story. Great. Great. What? Really? Yes! Yes, Sienna. To you, girl. Sienna's picking the music today. Yes. That's why there's a little N-K-O-T-B. You guys secretly love it. I love it. This one, I'm not so much secretly. Mikey, just stop talking. Okay, all right. Mikey likes it. Stop talking. You don't like it. Jay loves it. No, Jay does not like it. Jay's dancing. I never got N-K-O-T-B. Of course you didn't. I personally didn't, but the ladies, every girl you'll ever meet, my wife.

2:42:32Right now, she's jamming. I think it's a girl thing, right? Yeah. If you're a girl. It's like what the Jonas Brothers are now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. For sure. Hey, boy. All right, so we'll do the 911 thing for you. It's all coming up. Is this a new one, Sienna, or no? No, it's been around for a little while. It's beautiful. I like the fray. Welcome back. Woods. He has to hate on our music. Oh, he's such a snob when it comes to it. No way. It's so good, though. It's so good. Whatever. That's the worst. I like it.

2:43:28Lying on the floor. You found me. You found me. Lost and insecure. Where were you? Where were you? See, I noticed that you know all the words, which means that you kept the radio on when it came on. Is that this song right now? No. What about... I never knew. I love that. I never knew that everything was falling through. See? I don't even know the words. Don't you? I don't, but I love it. I love it. What about the one that had to save a life? You know why you like it? Because your wife likes it. No, because my wife has liked some stuff that I just don't. No, I mean, but you've heard it a bunch because she likes it. I like it more because of her. She loves the fray. Give her some credit, dude. Yeah, I will. I will say she loves the fray and it made me have an emotional attachment to it. Yeah. And I think that she has some pretty, she's snobby too. Yeah. So there's some stuff that she likes that she goes, that musically is really good. You guys didn't even give that one a chance. I know. It's a good one. It just reminded me of a rabbit hole story where Mikey heard a song that he was so pumped to play for us that he thought he discovered. Remember this story?

2:44:43No. And it was California Love by Tupac. Do you remember that? Oh, my God. This is the most embarrassing story. It's the most embarrassing story. He was like, damn, this is a jam. I'm driving in my car, right? Let me tell you. I'm driving in my car. Oh, my God. I love it so much. I love it already. I'm driving in my car. Oh, my gosh. And I'm listening to the radio. And I have it on, like, Kiss FM. Were you by yourself in the car? Yep. Okay. You know that. You know that. Sunglasses on. In his car seat. Of course. Baby Fjorn. Really? Booty's on. So I'm driving, and this song comes on the radio. And I go, and this is what I thought in my head. And I'm like, I got one hand up on the steering wheel. Leaning way back. Yeah, leaning back. Yeah. And I go, and I thought in my head, I go. I am going to spring this on everybody. I've discovered a miracle. This was a month ago. Are you serious? What? I thought you were talking about back in Texas. No, I played this as one of my bumper songs. Oh my gosh, Mikey. Wait, hold on. I thought this was when you guys lived in Dallas. No. This is a month ago. I admitted it to Woods. I go, dude.

2:46:14How'd you like that song I played? And he goes, which one? I go, I go by Tupac. Tupac. You said that? I don't know his music at all. None of it. Nothing. None. Zilch. And Woods looks at me and he goes, he looked at me like he was looking at a rare variety of flowers. Yeah, he thought he was like Christopher Columbus discovering the new one. He's like, I'm going to spring this. This is like the best jam I've ever heard. How did he and Hannah not hear that? In my head, I imagined you guys going, Wow, what is this? This song is maybe, it's more than 10 years old. It's 15 years old. That's why I thought Texas. I'm driving in my car and I'm like, this is a jam. This is a jam. One of my favorites. How did you like that song I put on my list? Woods looks at me and he's like, did you laugh? Yeah, of course. He goes, dude. That sounds like 15 years old. How did you not tell us? It was like a number one hit for a long time. It just spurred my memory. I was like, oh, jackpot, gold. It was like when MTV still played videos. It was like a big video. Didn't watch it. Out on bail, fresh out of jail, California Dreamin'. Great song. Really? Isn't that a great one?

2:47:35It was awesome 15 years ago, too. I've seen, like, maybe two dozen Facebook status references that talk about, like, California love. If I saw that, I wouldn't have known. From Diego to the Bay. I told my wife that, and she was, like, mortified. Yeah, she was, because I was in the car. My little blonde wife. She knows. She's a gangster rapper. Yeah, dude. She used to listen to the gnarliest NWA. She told me. Did she listen to some gangster rap? She listened to gangster stuff. I'm like, I didn't know what she was talking about. Oh, my God. Can you picture Rebecca driving around straight out of calm to the crazy mother named Ice Cube? I still drive around like that. I do, too. I don't know him. I played, I made, like, when I moved here from the East Coast, I drove out here, and I made, like, an all-about, like, California mix. And I remember playing this because it was like, it's all good. From Diego to the Bay. And I was like, yeah, that's going to be me. That's me. That's me. And this is me listening to it. This is a great new song. I'm going to break this song. I'm going to break this. I'm going to discover it. Hey, Garrett.

2:48:37Yeah. It's Mike. I got a new tune. Garrett, Mike, listen to this, Garrett. Can you hear this? Now, I know it's a little bit more urban than people are used to, but I think they're going to like it. I think they're going to like this, dude. I think they're going to like it. Sorry. You're right. I was blown away. I was just like, I love this. Have you heard that Tupac is no longer with us? He's dead, right? Gosh, what? Yeah, he died. And how did you say Tupac? Tupac. I don't know the music. Tupac Shakur. But you've heard the name Tupac. Well, I said, I thought it was Tupac Shakur, right? Oh. And he's like, it's Tupac. Oh, my gosh. I go, it's like the number two, right? Pac. Yeah. He goes, no, it's Pac. The widest Mexican in the world. Why wouldn't it be POC? Oh, wow. In the city. We've all done things like that, though. It's okay. No, we haven't. Not like that. That's huge. You guys hear about the monkey meat that got served or something in some other country? Indonesia, right? Yeah, the couple in Indonesia, they were just arrested because they've been making meatballs. This is actually really awful. From the flesh of...

2:49:49Protected monkeys. Now, this pair was caught. They poached dozens of rare silver leaf monkeys. Yeah. And it's all because beef and chicken were more expensive. Wow. Yeah, they said they knew they were breaking the law, but couldn't afford the other stuff. I wonder what that 911 call would have sounded like. Mike! Mike's pushing all the wrong buttons. No, I'm not. You're hitting random buttons over there? No, I'm playing them. Okay, well. Let's go back to Tupac. No, everything's all goofy. What is that? I don't even know what that is. It's a... Download your free seven-day pass at 24... I hear that 911 is in the background. Yeah, it's in the background. It's a mash-up. No, I turned it off. Like, where is this even coming from? We went away. I don't know where that's coming from. Yeah, we were gone for a week, and we came back, and everything's different. It's out of whack. Feel alive, pal? Woodsy has this phrase where he goes, whenever we're... Because he knows, like, my thing is structure.

2:51:09Planning, planning, and structure. Planning, planning, and structure. And the kid's thing is not planning and no structure. He loves, like, just, you know, freewheeling it. Winging it. Winging it. So when things go wrong like this. It makes me bananas. I can't believe it. I'm pushing a button. The thing about water is that it all looks like water. And it all feels like water. Can you hear that, Jay? This is not a 911 call. It's a water commercial. If you start with something better. Water. You get some. Who cares? I don't know. In the city of LA. What about this, though? All day. Let it get to my favorite part. When Tupac comes to my favorite. Oh, that's not Tupac right there? Who is that? Dr. Dre. Dr. Dre. This is Dre right now. Yeah, Mike. That's Dre. Where did Dr. Dre get his doctorate? Harvard. Strip mall.

2:52:12What is his PhD in? It's in crunk. It's in crunk and beat. Crunkology. It's in crunkology. The study of crunkology. Which no one really knows what that means. I think crunking is... Yeah, I probably shouldn't even try. You get crunked up. Yeah, you get crunked. I know you do that. Crazy drunk. Crazy drunk. Crazy drunk? Yeah. Crunk. I told someone that this is my last summer before I'm 30. I said, I'm going to wild out. Do you guys know what that means? Oh, my God. It's wild out. No, it's wild. But it means wild out. Is that a wrap? I don't know, but I'm going to get crazy. Yeah, I don't know, but I'm doing it. It's my last summer before I'm 30. So you're going to wild out. It's like the premise of a movie. It's like the premise of a Judd Apatow movie. Yeah, wild out. Pepper on the wild out. Yeah. Pepper on the wild. It's her last summer before turning 30. Pepper wants to get crazy. Wow. Watch out, SD. I'm going to get crunked up. Yeah. No, I'm not. Aren't you? What would her version of that be? What's her just wild? Eating like a French fry. This is a banana. It's like over a week. It's not even green anymore. I'm going to dip this banana in fat peanut butter. Amazing. Not almond butter, guys. That's right.

2:53:33She uses SPF 15 instead of SPF 50. I want to see it. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. You see this SPF 15? I'm jogging. I'm going to go jogging on the street instead of the beach. This water is not filtered. It's unfiltered water, Bubba. Hey. Hey, don't ignore me. That's unfiltered water. This milk, don't you believe it's organic? No, it's not. It's regular skim. It's regular skim. This is going to be the summer of Lauren, dude. Summer of Lauren. Summer of Lauren. Summer of Lauren. Watch out. Crazy Lauren. These nuts aren't raw. Watch this. They've got salt on them. I haven't had alcohol. I'm crazy, and I drank a little cough medicine. And I don't drink medicine. I do homeopathic remedies. Only. Only. But I drink NyQuil. Yeah, Lauren. It's going to be nuts. You get up, girl. It's true. That's my girlfriend. And she gave me NyQuil. I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you so much. I miss coconut water.

2:54:43White bread, not wheat bread. I love sourdough. Wonder. This is Summer of Lauren. Summer of Lauren. Are you really going to wild out? I don't know. She's not even sure. Are we saying wild out now? Is that something that's happening? Jay, I'm so worried about going into commercials. They're not going to play. We just played them all. We get this. I believe in this. Let's be optimistic. Let's all just say. It's going to work. Well, I want to play that 911 thing, but. Maybe when we come back. I'm trying to get Jeremy in here to assist us. All right. Well, am I late breaking? Yeah. I am, right? You know that. Oh, yes. How about that? That's great. That's great. Who's this? Scorpions? Scorpions. Is this Kraftwerk? It is, actually. Is this Falco? Is this the Commissar? Is this the Commissar? Don't turn around. Uh-oh. Not even close. Bee Gees, baby. You have to dance to it. Did somebody pop some popcorn in the studio? It smells like a pet shop in here. Did somebody pop some popcorn and the flavor of the popcorn is curry? It's pet shop. How did it get through? Lauren, what are you eating? It smells like Top Ramen. Lauren, what are you eating? I have nothing. It smells like a pet food. There's five things that you might be doing that are sabotaging the relationship you're in.

2:56:26Uh-oh. I'll tell you all about it next. Welcome back. Five things that you might be doing that are sabotaging your relationship. Sienna. Oh, yeah. What do we got? I was dancing right there. She was off in La La Land. Fully thinking about. She's like being in the club, wiling out. That's right. You were wiling out. You were wiling out, girl. I really was. I was thinking about in high school when I was on a bus and we sang this song because we went to the back. Wow. Exclamation point. Okay. All right. Okay. Five things you might be doing to sabotage your relationship. Yeah. You're frequently disappointed by your partner's gifts or gestures. These are like little things that you're already in a relationship. Maybe you're not aware that those little things actually matter and it's lame that you're doing that. Right. Check. Like say Todd gives me a bracelet and I do not like it and I'm like.

2:57:44Is it okay if I return it? Like, you say you love it, you wear it for a little bit, and then you put it in the jewelry box. Have we all done that? Of course. We've all done that. Oh, yeah. Everybody here is waving their head yes, so we've all done it. But what happens if then they think they know your taste and they continue to get that stuff? Do you get in deeper and deeper? The drawer gets bigger. Yeah, I guess. My wife said, because my birthday's coming up at the end of the month, my wife said to me over our vacation, what are you into right now? Just go to the Apple Store, Rebecca. Yeah, really. Right? Yeah, how about a gift card? You would be a really hard person to shop for. Oh, my God, I know. Amazon. I love it. Amazon gift card? Get anything at Amazon. Yeah, but sometimes you want to get something meaningful that not anyone else has. Give them a gift card. See, some people are like that. Some people get upset with gift cards. I don't. I don't either. I love them. I think they're great. If it was from your wife, you wouldn't care? I would never give Todd a gift card. Why? That's ridiculous. It's so unmeaningful. And you wouldn't want a gift card? No. Really? Pick something out that you think I would like. I'll keep it. So that you can take it back. Why don't you just save yourself the trouble and just get a gift card? I swear, I would rather him spend...

2:58:52$500 on a necklace that I don't like. I don't know why. I know it's weird. That makes me so anxious. That makes me anxious. I used to be that way. Not that you guys haven't been together a long time, but the longer you're with somebody, you're like, I just want you to have what you want and go get it at your own time and on your own pace. Here's $500 in Nordstrom's. Go have a ball. Some people never give that up, though. My parents have been married for almost 35, maybe even 35 years, and they still... It's like, do you like it? Do you like it? The gift cards would not fly. With your family? No, yeah. They do the, I gotta get something just for you. My dad's old bit used to be, he'd walk into, I would do my Christmas shopping with him and he'd be done in five minutes. He'd walk into the store, whatever was on the mannequin, the entire outfit, he'd be like, yep. I'll take it. Give the size and everything down to the accessories. Like, that's it. Really? That's shocking. That's actually pretty smart. Yeah. If you see a mannequin and it's all done up all good. Right. I'll take it. What's the point of a gift? It's the thought that counts. It's something, getting something, something for someone that you think that they will love. You want to, you know, and a gift card, yeah, they'll like it, but you want to pick something out and give them something to open. See, and I think of it like this. I think that a gift has become something that... Obligatory? Yeah, we're supposed to do it. Yes. Well, if you don't, you know, you're a jerk. You're Lauren if you don't. You have to do it.

3:00:20I don't give Easter boxes. Or Valentine's. Okay, another sabotaging thing. You focus on their faults. Yeah, we all do that. You know, like you don't tell them enough. Oh my, that is so sweet that you just did that. You tell them, why didn't you do that? You know, you don't pay them the compliments. You just pick at the things that you don't like. Fair enough. So no one's perfect. Remember that. Yeah, well, I mean, are we all, as she's saying these, are we all asking ourselves, do I do that? And of course you do. I don't. Man, I don't, do I? You do it. I have to ask Rebecca. I don't think so, but I probably do it without knowing it. I think maybe, this is a bad generalization, but I think maybe women would be more likely to do that to guys. Because women talk more. Women are more verbal. Yeah. Guys are not as verbal. In fact, I just read something that says that women use twice as many words per day as men do. You didn't know that? No. Well, I mean, it's an old thing, but. It's true.

3:01:17It's true. There was a study done that says women use twice as men. They love to talk, dude. They love to hear themselves talk. I don't think it's... We just have an expansive vocabulary. Hillary just shot you the Manson lamp. I just got the lamps. That's right. We like to talk. It's okay. I like to talk. I'm on the radio for Christ's sake. And then this one time at band camp. I got it. Chatty Cathy over here. Yeah. Yeah, Woodsy talks. You love to talk. Not at home. I'm silent. Are you? Yeah. Kid likes to watch TV, dip snuff. Another way of sabotaging your relationship, and this one's totally a girl thing. You're too available or have drastically changed your routine for him. Guys can be too available, but girls are usually the ones that change the routine. Mikey and I are. Mikey and I are too available. Yeah. We would be. Yeah, you know why? Because we don't like, oh, that drives me nuts. It's games. Of course it is. Of course it's games. You don't like it either, right? I hate the games. Anything you have to stop and think, like, hmm. What are they going to think if I do this? What's the best strategy here? You have to play some games in the beginning. You can't just be like, yeah, I want to hang out. Yeah, let's hang out. Mikey and I do. Hey, I love you. First date. I love you. If I do. Give me your hand. I'm going to write it in there. Yeah. Oh, my God. But girls are the ones that change the routine for the guys, right? Yeah. You know? Guys do it, too.

3:02:39Girls are the ones that have to make the changes, though, always. We're the flexible ones. It sucks. Yeah. You stopped getting glam for your dates. This is another girl one. Does that bother you? It's a guy one, too. You stop shaving. Yeah. I put on 75 pounds since shaving and I start dating, so I think it goes both ways. You haven't put on 75 pounds. Yeah, girls don't really care, though. Do guys care, like, if you stop shaving your legs? Yes. Yes. Yes. I love that. Do guys care if you stop shaving your legs? No, not all together, but if they're a little spiky every now and again. No, never spiky. Oh, please, then you have to shave every day. Hillary, come here, Hillary. Mike, what did you talk about earlier? Living in the real world versus living in fantasy land? Yeah, it's the truth. It's the truth. Hell, I could have told... This bums me out. I used to be able to have this... I had this gift. I could smell a perfume or a lotion and tell people what they were wearing. Me too. I can't do it anymore. I'm getting old. My brain doesn't do what it used to do. Like you could tell the brand? I know. I could tell you exactly what that is that you're wearing, but I can't now. You probably couldn't, though. What is it? Because L.O.B. and I have a lot in common, so I wanted a perfume that was organic, paraben-free. Wheat. Wheat made of wheat. Old day wheat.

3:04:05It's from the body shop. It's whatever their rose, Moroccan rose. I wouldn't have got it. There's so many now, though, Mike. Back then, you had one for ten. You could have gone. You know what I mean? You had ten shots. Yeah, like Drakkar is the scent of my high school. My high school memories, everybody did it. Kept it in my car. Yeah, who didn't? 100%. And then obsession. But now you're right. Now there's a million. We have to go, but... We got to do something special for M1 Hawk. You know who M1 Hawk is? It's my old man. It's Woodsy's dad is on the line right now. M1 Hawk. Hello, all. How are you? We're good. How are you doing? Yeah. Well, I'm good. I know Stephen's still learning the radio, but I listened earlier when we started talking about geezers. I thought that was a good segue. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Why is today special? Oh, I don't know. I think my mom kind of provided me to the world. That's right. Big birthday in the Woods family. Nice. You guys ready to do this? Yeah, let's do it. Let's sing a happy birthday. Yeah, we're going to give you the, it's called the falsetto birthday. You ready? Oh, boy. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday.

3:05:38He's so proud, isn't he? That's his son. I imagine you 10 years old doing it. It was probably the same way. I know it. I know it. Happy birthday, Dad. I love you. Thanks. Love you, too. Thank you all. Happy birthday. Love you, too. We love you. I lost it because it was my dad. I couldn't do it. So great. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. And we will come back here tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock and do it all over again. Mikey Show's out. Late.