The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 04/26/11
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
nfl lockoutpadres baseball streaklady gaga hbo documentaryfart machine prankmikey show sticker giveawayharley davidson giveawayburrito handlebar motorcyclefacebook deals featurecucumber word of the daymichael vick dog warspaul reiser show cancellationstripless stripping
The show featured a lively debate over whether Padres outfielder Woodsy would shave a Friars-style haircut if the team won a consecutive games streak, ultimately settling on six wins. Host Mikey and guests discussed the NFL lockout, with Judge Susan Richard Nelson’s ruling to lift the lockout and the owners’ imminent appeal. Eskimo Blue Waters presented a hidden‑audio prank using a fart machine on Sienna’s stepdaughter, while also promoting the word‑of‑the‑day "cucumber" for a UFC 129 pay‑per‑view giveaway. The crew announced a new Mikey Show sticker and a $24,000 Harley Davidson giveaway for May 14 at Qualcomm Stadium, and Blair from the stereo described a custom motorcycle with burrito‑shaped handlebars and a coconut‑shell helmet. Other highlights included Michael Vick condemning the Dog Wars app, a Lady Gaga HBO special preview, and a discussion of Facebook’s new "Deals" feature and its privacy implications.
What happened, in order
Elton John video concept
Steve Spencer pitches a desert piano video for Elton John, suggesting he wear a white cowboy hat and a blue suit while playing.
Eskimo Blue Waters fart machine prank
Sienna plays hidden audio of her stepdaughter and friend reacting to a fart machine prank, while Eskimo Blue Waters introduces the word‑of‑the‑day "cucumber" for a UFC 129 pay‑per‑view giveaway.
Mikey Show sticker and Harley giveaway
The show announces a new Mikey Show sticker and a $24,000 Harley Davidson giveaway for May 14 at Qualcomm Stadium, with hosts discussing learning to ride a motorcycle within 90 days.
Burrito handlebar motorcycle
Blair from the stereo describes a custom motorcycle featuring burrito‑shaped handlebars, a coconut‑shell helmet, Mexican‑flag gas tank and other novelty details.
Woodsy's Friars haircut wager
Woodsy agrees to shave a Friars‑style haircut if the Padres win nine games in a row, later negotiating the bet down to six consecutive wins.
Lady Gaga HBO special preview
Eskimo Blue Waters is scheduled to discuss Lady Gaga’s upcoming HBO documentary "Dare or Truth," and the hosts run a true/false quiz about her career and persona.
Michael Vick opposes Dog Wars app
Michael Vick speaks out against the Android app Dog Wars that simulates dog fighting, and mentions being a finalist for the Madden NFL cover with Peyton Hillis.
Lady Gaga on creativity and faith
Lady Gaga describes how her creativity escapes from her, her practice of praying before shows, and her desire to empower others rather than worship herself.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienSiennaJayChrisElton JohnSteve SpencerKimToddJennaBellaNitaRobert De Niro
38,994 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
How's that for an opening song? If you don't understand, just enjoy it. Then just know you're on my team. If you don't, yeah. If you don't understand it and you don't get it, just go, well, Sienna doesn't either and I love her, so I'm all in on it. Most people get it, though. Listen, the idea is this song just makes us laugh to remember. That's all. Just a stupid little song. And just breaking down, you know, who was he singing about? Yeah. I watched the video yesterday, and he's got a white cowboy hat on and a blue suit. Oh, of course he does. We're in constructing the video concept. Well, first of all, Elton, welcome. Thank you very much. It's lovely to be here. It's early. My name is Steve Spencer, and I'm going to be directing the video. I'm Elton John.
And it's wonderful to meet you. You're a legend, and I've always appreciated your music. You can start with the pleasantries. I know who I am. All right, well, Mr. John, is it okay? Just call me Elton. Elton. Mr. John. Sir Elton. Sir Elton, conceptually, I think I have a pretty good idea of where we should go here. Okay. Since videos just came out last week, what I'm thinking is we do something that really blows their minds. I saw the Duran Duran video, Hungry Like the Wolf. They're running through the jungle and squeezing rags of water into their mouth. I thought maybe something like that would be good. I think you're more classy than that. Not really. You've never been to one of my parties, have you? I haven't. I haven't, but I'd love to. Well, that will never happen, but... Hopefully after this, you know, brief encounter with us as working in a working relationship... That's all it is, is a working relationship. Fine, Sergeant Dalton. Sir John is also appropriate. Sir John. A little early impressions this morning, isn't it? Yeah, but that may confuse people because I've also worked with John Paul Jones, who was knighted, so he was Sir John. So why don't I just stick with Sir Alton? That'll work. So Sir Alton, I've been listening to your single, Blue Eyes. Right. And I have a concept for the video. I think you should wear a white cowboy hat. Okay?
And because it's blue eyes, we'll put you in some sort of a blue suit. I like it the other way. I like a white suit and a blue cowboy hat. That's why you do what you do. That's fair enough. I defer to the experts on this one. So what we'll do is we'll put you on a piano in the desert. It's like that brown eye. Oh, my gosh. A little early, Jay. Oh, my gosh. Oh, man. Wow, he's just going to keep going with it. That was like an arrow shot through the glass in the mic's heart. It was fantastic. I need a little time before that happens. Not much of a warm-up. Pretty much everyone could have done without that. Good morning. Good morning, San Diego. I'm awake now. I'm reading between the lines on that. That's for sure.
No having to try to figure that one out. Nope. Well, how old? I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show, and I'm 40 years old. Woodsy is our sports guy. He is 35. Sniggling. That's right. He's losing weight, man. Every time I look at you, I can tell you've lost weight. Slim Jim. I love it. The thing's working. You're doing some stuff, and it's starting to work on you. Feeling good, man. Yeah. I'm jealous. I am. I am. It's working. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as LLB, she's the blonde. Hello. And she is a stand-up comic who does many voices, and she's on the Mikey show. Sienna is the girl with the... Dragon tattoo. The girl that kicked the hornet's nest. The girl who kicked the hornet's nest. The girl who started fire. She is our news girl. She's a lovely gal. And I took a look at her today and think she's dropping some LBs too. And you shouldn't say that to a girl. No, I told him thank you for saying that. Well, it's treacherous water.
It's fine. I said, Sienna, are you losing weight? Yeah, you don't want to. Because it looks like she's losing weight. After you have a baby, it's okay, though, because it's giving, you're going to lose weight when you're pregnant. So you want to hear that. You're not supposed to say to a woman, are you losing weight? That's not like, that's bad? Age and weight. Stay away. I would just, yeah. Because if they're not, they're like, well, what made you think that I had weight to lose? Yes. It doesn't make them think, ooh. Oh, I don't. I love it. If they're clearly losing weight, then probably they would, but I don't know. Some women are weird and don't even want you looking at their physique at all. If you think it, please tell me. You're best to just stay away, I think, from that topic. It's a compliment. I think to 98% of women, if you say to them... Are you losing weight? You look good. It makes them think to themselves, well, it appears I am, and that's good. No. I disagree. No. That's how I think. They're like, oh, was I overweight? Why do I need to lose weight? I usually just go to, you look great. That's good. Yeah, you look great. It covers all of it. Yeah, exactly. That's much better. I just say, look, you look like you should belong on a little popsicle stick. You've been a parent in my head, and here you are.
Now it's real. Looking better than ever. That's my life. I see you seeing me. That's not Jay, that's me. I see you. Can't see me because it's dark in the cellar, but I have all my life. I can see you. My hand is right in front of your face. But you don't know. Waking up and seeing Jay's face. Right over you. Good morning. You want some turkey bacon and coffee? Your breath smells so sweet. When you sleep. You know how I know that? Because I got my night vision on. Your eyelashes flutter so gently while you sleep. Just like a butterfly. It's so great because right now when I'm talking, it smells so good. Is that your chapstick? Ew.
That navy skin cream. Unscented. You smell like a sauce 14. That's good. Oh, boy. Poor Jay. Off and running. Jay is our producer. And he's got too much going on for me to feel sorry for him with those jokes. Guy's 47 years old. Looks like he's 27. Yeah. I feel fine. Smooth face today. I do. Freshly shorn. Mikey's sad. It's your wife. She's happy now. Yeah. Man, that looked cool. Happy birthday, Kim. Happy wife. Happy birthday, Kim. Yes, happy birthday, Kim. Yeah, who would I rather have happy? I know. Man, that looked rugged though, didn't it? Yeah, it looked great. Wish I could do it and I can't. I liked his beard when he had the full beard. Yeah, absolutely. Salt and peppered up. I wonder if Kim just doesn't want the lady sniffing around. It's itchy. Yeah. If you're not used to it, you know. Kim's about to kill me.
Chris is our phone screener. It's crap! It's crap! And we get to see that little angel every day now, don't we? Such a sweet little guy. I will love you violently. Chris has a sick day. We're going to all have a meltdown. Oh my gosh. Absolutely. You can't have one. You cannot. Okay, so we sent LOB out onto the street yesterday and at 7.30 you're going to hear it. You know, we're trying to get people excited about the Padres. Yeah. Because the Padres have been on a bit of a skid. And so in order to get people fired up about the pods, we sent L.O.B. out onto the street and we have her getting people to get behind Take Me Out to the Ballgame. And so you get a chance to hear that. Are they singing it or what are they doing? Yep. So trying. They're trying to. Some of them are. And then also at 8 o'clock.
Eskimo Blue Waters will be in here. She's got something new she wants to introduce us to. But Sienna has some hidden audio. She's good at it. She takes a recorder and she will turn that thing on when people don't know about it. And today she is going to play for us some audio that she got of her stepdaughter. while Sienna hid a fart machine by her and her friend. My stepdaughter and her friend, they're both 9 and 10, and it was entertaining. She hid a fart machine, played it, and then taped them as it was going on. It was entertaining. She tried it on her husband, Todd, but he didn't fall for it. No. He wasn't buying it. He wasn't buying it, but the little girls did. Wow. Word of the day is cucumber. And when you hear us say the word cucumber between now and 10 o'clock, caller 9, you get the UFC 129 pay-per-view. It is, in fact, fight week. Not yet. It hasn't even started yet. It hasn't started yet. Start on Saturday. And also, you'll get a pair of tickets to Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. It's a big fight, man, for Andy Couture's last fight. That's right. So the word of the day is cucumber, which is something that...
I despise. I loathe it as well. I hate cucumber and I hate cantaloupe. Yesterday, our nanny, Nita, was juicing cucumbers. I'm not using the word. I'll use the word sometime between 9 and 10. I'll weave it into a sentence. But she was juicing carrots and cukes and celery. She made a little drink. And she was drinking that. Weird. Good for her. She's real healthy. Very healthy. Yeah, she is. You couldn't keep me far away from that. I'm jealous of people that can just do that and drink it. Jealous. Jealous. Jealous. Hey, go to our Facebook page. If you go to facebook.com slash Mikey show, you will see the brand new sticker is in the house. The new sticker has come in. It's, you know, fresh off the press. It feels so good in my hands. I know. How's the sticker feel? That feels good in my hands, too. I so badly want to put this on my vehicle. You should. I think I'm going to. I'll do it for you. Don't. It's so cool. I'll do it for you. People will be angry. Why? Because they'll be like, hey, nobody gets this sticker until May 14th. Oh, yeah. Okay. We're here. We can't, man. We'll be.
Total Ds. I did it last time. It's not right. Yeah, that wasn't right. It ain't right. This sticker is going on my car, though. Yeah, because last time when the sticker came out that Woods is talking about, we didn't have a big release date where everybody gets the sticker and all that stuff. Yeah. And today, we do. You also get a sneak peek at the music that Woods has selected for today for our intro and outro music. Because I took a picture of the new sticker by... all of those songs. We call it bumper music in the biz. Bumper music in the biz. You can also see the Harley that we just went and met. Oh, yeah. Yesterday, we went to Harley Davidson. Oh, my gosh. She was pretty. Yes, she was. I didn't talk to Rebecca about it. Did she see your Facebook post? If she did, she didn't say anything. What was it? That I'm genuinely interested in learning how to ride. Of course. I gave it, in the store, I gave it a 90-day over-under. Yeah. And we all agreed. That it'll happen within 90 days? Yes. It can't. Why? It will. It will. But it can't. But it will. It can't. But it will. It will. Yeah, but this is not a $700, you know, like iPad where I can go, okay, we'll just tack it onto my allowance. Yeah, but you can learn to ride and there's rentals and you can, you know, within 90 days you can be doing those things. Yeah, I can learn within the 90. Yeah. But I saw a motorcycle yesterday because, you know, I said to New York Mike, I said, you know what?
fascinating about this to me is just the process of kind of going through this store and finding a bike that says, oh, yeah, you're for me. And he said, oh, yeah, that's part of the fun of it. And I walked around, I looked, and I saw one that I really liked, and then I kept coming back to it. And I kept coming back to it. And I'd like another one. And then I kept coming back to that one. Kept coming back. Finally, I decided, you're the one for me. It was pretty. It was in the petite section, wasn't it? It was in the kid section. You looked good on it, too. It was cool. The gas thing had a Mexican flag on both sides. Tommy Bahama flag on the back. TV flying from the back. The handlebars were actually just two burritos. The helmet was a giant coconut shell. Yeah, and the seat looked like a burrow. Like a back of a burrow. This is Blair from the stereo. All time.
One track. The burrito handle got me. The burrito handle got me real good. It doesn't need gas. It just needs tapatio inside. And beans. Yes, because the beans create gas. Yeah, they fuel it. You've gone green. Refried only. How dare you? Oh my gosh. Just put the truth out there? Sorry. Living in the truth. That bike was meant for you. Yes, it was. Oh, man, I really loved it. I would love to have it. I had a great time in there, man. A lot of good looking bikes. The jump bike that you can sit on, it's elevated so you can actually rev it up and change gears. Awesome. I was convinced that that thing was going to come off the blocks with woods on it because only him would that happen to. I know it. Well, go to our Facebook page right now.
Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. And if you haven't gone to our Facebook page and liked it, do that now. And you can see all these pictures of the Harley Davidson that we're going to give away on May 14th at OSI, Operation Street Impact, where we're going to be giving away our brand new Mikey Show sticker, which is the coolest sticker in my career. There's no doubt about it. I mean, of all the stickers that I've ever had from all the cool stations. From the Eagle in Dallas to KSJO in San Jose to the ones at Rock 105. All of the different stickers that I've ever had my entire career. This is the best one. It's the shape of an octagon. It's not just like this regular bumper sticker like a rectangle. It's so cool. I love it so much. I'm so, so happy about this sticker. And on May 14th at Qualcomm Stadium. We are giving away this sticker, putting it on every car that comes through. But in addition to that, also giving away an FXDB, $24,000, all black Harley Davidson from San Diego Harley Davidson. And I mean all black. Everything on there. They spent so much money. He said to us yesterday, New York Mike goes, we've given away a couple of bikes. You know, he goes, we've given away a lot of bikes over the years, you know, with radio. He said, and.
He said, one time we gave away a special edition charger bike, he said, and that was pretty special. He said, aside from that one bike, this is the coolest bike that I ever got. And I don't know that he wanted me to say this, but I'm going to just tell you. Got to pull the curtain back on this one. Yeah. He was pissed. Yeah. It was so nice. He's like, who approved this? He was pissed. When he saw it, he went to Tricia and he said, what's up with that bike? We're not giving that away. Because what they have given away in the past is some of their, you know, less expensive Harleys. Entry-level Harleys. Entry-level Harleys. This is not your entry-level Harley. This is a badass. Badass. It has that custom San Diego thing on there, too. The air filter. The air filter is a customized blacked-out plate that says San Diego Harley Davidson on it. And it's cool to have the city. That's kind of a thing for Harley guys. And so if you want to see the bike, go to MikeyShow.com or our Facebook page. It's awesome. So it's going to be a big day. Saturday, May 14th is a day you need to put on your calendar. We're going to be doing it up. All right. So the NFL is a big deal right now, the lockout. And there is some things happening right now.
Yeah, U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson basically put a stop to the lockout yesterday. She said she was swayed by the players' argument that the lockout would cause irreparable harm to their careers. Well, yes, it would. It will cause harm to their careers. But basically, she said, hey, listen, the plaintiffs made a case. I looked at all the evidence in front of me, and I decided I'm going to end this lockout today. So Mike and I had a discussion about it this morning. It's a good thing for the players. It's a really bad thing for the owners. The owners cannot be pleased about what went down yesterday. And they are filing an appeal immediately. Well, here's the thing. It's all it is. See, none of it means anything. Right. That's the sad part. Yeah. The sad part is none of it means a thing. Like, as a football fan, you may get excited and go, oh, wow, cool. Yeah. Progress. All it is is chess.
They're just playing chess. Strategy. Strategy. And so what the Players Association and the players did was they go, listen, most of this is being played out in the court of public opinion. Right. So what we'll do is we'll make the NFL look like bad guys. We will file a petition to end this thing right now, which makes us look like we want to go back to work. Yes. The judge says, yeah, I looked at it. I agree. Now. And instantly, what they know will happen is that the owners will go, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We don't have anything figured out here. We don't have all our money. We don't have all our demands. So hang on a second. We're filing an appeal. And we're going to say we're not going to let them go back to work, which makes them look bad. Right. But in addition to making them look bad, it makes them look greedy. Yep. So when the NFL yesterday said, we're instantly filing an appeal, they filed a press release for all of us football fans to see. And at the end of the press release, it said, but we do expect for there to be something worked out, just so you know. I mean, yes, we are saying that we don't want to go back to work, but we want you to know that we do believe that something will get worked out. Right. And what the owners want.
is they want to get back to mediation. They want to get back to bargaining. They want to be across the table from the Players Union and Demora Smith, and they want to say, we want this rookie wage scale instituted now. We want 18 games. We want all the stuff that we want. We also want that bigger piece of the $9 billion pie. And if you listen to Demora Smith, who's the executive director of the Players Association, to hear him tell it, hey, big victory for the players. What do I take of the ruling today? Simply, It's a great day for everybody who loves football. Is it? No, it isn't. No, it's not. Now, great play. Great play. Well played. Because now the football fan hears that and goes, Awesome! Football! And then the owners come in and go, No, no, we're filing a petition to stop it. And suddenly they look like criminals. The players now look like the guys with... They're steel lunchboxes, and they just want to go and dig in, man. They want to get in the film room. They want to get in the weight room, and they want to be – we're workers, man. We're not millionaires anymore. We are the man of the people. We are the workers. We just want to play football. We just want to play football. The judge ruled to lift a lockout that obviously the players didn't ask for, but the owners implemented. And today's ruling was a ruling that I think that people who love the game –
should rejoice about for me no you don't because you're a lawyer right and you know darn well that it's not going to hold up you know that because you're a lawyer and you're not just a lawyer you're a real smart lawyer people who like to see our players play they should really dig in and for all of those who really want to see football uh go forward uninterrupted i think today was a good day for them okay football fan all right charger fan let me tell you what's going to happen fast forward the tape two weeks a judge will rule That nobody's going back anywhere. And then we're back to right where we were the day before yesterday. It's actually, if you think about it, maybe a bad thing. Probably. It probably is. Because it puts us, like you said, another two weeks behind. Now, is there going to be football this year? We don't know. It still doesn't look great. I saw some people posting on Facebook yesterday. The NFL is back. The NFL is back. The NFL ain't back. It's not even close to being back. They're not. None of the issues have been resolved. The pie has not been divided equally and equitably. And until that happens, nothing's going to go down. Am I alone in this? I'm MCO. I've mentally checked out with the NFL. I mean, in terms of excitement. Usually at this time, the draft's coming up. I want to know who the new players are going to be, what the teams are going to look like this season. I've mentally checked. I literally don't care. I'm the sports guy on our show, and I had to read an article about the draft today, and I was like...
The fake draft. That's sad. Fake draft. It's terrible, man. Donald Trump got dissed by Robert De Niro. And we have a clip of Trump responding to it. And in that clip, in my opinion, you hear why he shouldn't be our president. And also, Facebook's got something new for you that could save you money. But do you want it? And is it invading your privacy? I'll tell you what that is next. Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Now hang me up to train.
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And the way that Donald Trump chose to respond to it doesn't seem presidential to me. So we'll play that for you. Has he done a lot of presidential stuff? Well, he's trying to be a candidate. If you're going to be a candidate, you've got to act like a president. That's how Barack got a lot of votes. He acted very presidential. He acted very presidential. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, we'll play that for you here in just a second. Also, LOB went out on the street yesterday and asked people. to sing Take Me Out to the Ball Game, and we're trying to fire people up. Yeah. It's baseball season, and the Padres have not been doing well. Nope. Turn it around, boys. And so... They're working on it. Woods and I just... Woods just was talking to me about if the Padres win a certain number of games in a row, that he would shave a Friars patch in his head. Bald spot on the top. He and I were really debating how many numbers of games they needed to win in a row because Woodsy's first thought was, well, what if they win nine in a row? And I'm like, well, nine in a row, man, that seems pretty hard to do. And he's like, yeah, but they could do it. And I'm like, yeah, sure. I mean, they could, no doubt. They could go on a 15-game winning streak. There's no doubt about it. But I, for whatever reason, see a team winning three, four, five in a row and then losing a game, then coming back, winning.
Four in a row. But nine is more impressive, and we want them to be impressive. I mean, it's impressive without being like, it's not, I mean, it's attainable. Yeah, it's attainable. And I think for Woods to do his hair, it should be. Lots of teams have done it. Well, yeah, and it should be. Here's what I'm afraid of, Woodsy. You know what I'm afraid of, Sienna? What? What happens at the end of the season? It's like, oh, we could have almost did it, but they lost that one at the ninth game. TB, pal. Too bad. Yeah. I know it would give you great pleasure to see me with a Friars haircut, as it would give most people. But I ain't doing it for three games. I love our show. I love the Padres. That's too easy. But come on. And how long would he have to keep it for? I know. Three's too easy. Nine is a good number, I think. Nine for nine. I'll put the stamp on nine. I'll say it right now. They won last night. We'll get to that later. It was a very exciting win. All right, eight more. Eight more, and I'll freaking shave a Friars. Or how about it? Yeah. How about just throughout the whole season, if they win nine games in a row? Well, that is the whole year. It doesn't have to be right now. It doesn't have to be right now. Right, no. It doesn't have to be. You got to beat the Braves. You got to be, you know, it's if they win nine straight. You'll get a fryer haircut this season. I have a feeling. Maybe let them know in the locker room. Give them something to play for. All right. Nine in a row. Woods will shave. Okay, but if it's nine in a row and you shave that fryer thing.
I think that it needs to be for nine days before, you know, you let it start growing again or something. Are you kidding? It's a fryer's haircut. It's not, hey, I'll shave my head. It's a fryer's haircut. I'll do it for. Yeah, but it's easy. All you got to do is stick a ball cap on it and nobody knows. Okay, fine. How about this? Ew, it's going to look so ugly. How about this woods? How about this woods? Fine. Nine games in a row, and you shave a fryer haircut. Okay. The only stipulation is that you can let it grow back immediately, but no caps, no hats. You can't cover your dome. No way! That's longer! Well, then that means that it's essentially for nothing, because you put a ball cap on it right away. I go to a game with the fryer haircut. Oh my gosh. That's no good? That's fantastic. What? That's awesome. Goes to a game. Yes, people are going to see him that's humiliating. There's people sitting right behind him staring at his bald spot. Yeah. Okay. What would you do? Five games. Oh my gosh. Because the next day. You're a monster. The next day he's got a cap on it. You're a monster. Yeah, but it's still like an idiot. It's still there. Everybody goes.
sleep, he has a bald spot on the pillow and he looks at his wife and she sees a bald spot. Every time he looks in the mirror. Last guy to do a fryer's haircut was the kid from the Denver Broncos. Yeah, Tebow. He did it for like a day and then he shaved his head. He didn't shave his head the next day. They made him wear it for a while. He makes like 15 million a year. You pay me 15 million a year, I'll do it for the next five years. I don't think I'm being unreasonable here. I don't think so either. So nine games. They win nine in a row. I do the Friars. I'll go to a ball game, sporting my Friars haircut, then I shave my head. That's embarrassing, dude. You know how long a baseball game is? I would be sweating. I'd be red. You know what? He has to impress all the girls. It'd be real smooth. I'm married. I know. How is he going to do that? Girls are going to be like, oh, easy ball game. All right. I got it. I'll do five days. Five days on the air with my fryer's haircut and no ball cap. Monday through Friday. Well, whenever it falls. Five days on the air and a ball game. And then you shave it. Yeah, then I'll shave it down. Yeah. Does that include the ball game? Yes. Five and a ball game is what you get. It's mortifying. What am I thinking? I don't know. But then all that means is that we see you with it? Or do you walk out of here? I walk out of here. For five days. Five days. No ball cap. No ball cap. Oh, wow.
Y'all are talking, man. I'm mortified for you. I'm like, please wear the ball cap. It's going to be awful. If it happens, we should do a meet and greet and do the actual shaving and meet and greet. I would do that. If they won nine in a row, yeah. Maybe they'll win before OSI. Oh, boy. My wife is. Five in a row before OSI. My wife, nine. Five in a row. I like the way this is going, Mikey. Mike's trying to twist it. Yeah, he's trying to twist it. It's Huffy. It is, but, you know. He's doing something so humiliating. It's mortifying. You can't just do that for no reason. Take calls. See what they think. Because I think nine is a good number. Yeah, 570-194-9. See who's being unreasonable here. Is nine the good number or is Woods being a wimp? They're going to probably say five because they want to see you looking like that. Which I do too. Hey, I remember the Padres have done this before, but when they do...
It's always big news. Yeah. You know, it's big news when they go on a streak where they're winning that many. Sure. It's a lot. I mean, the odds. You got pretty good odds in your favor. I also got pretty good hair on my side, too, and that's kind of a big deal. And he's growing it out. I'm proud of my hair. I don't blame you. It's lovely. It is lovely hair. You know, I don't blame you. I'm happy being 30, almost 36, and having a full dome. Mm-hmm. M1. M1's Zachy Chan. From Lakeside. Are you there, Zachy Chan? Yeah, this is me. How are you? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. How about you guys? Good. What do you think? Well, I think Lizzie should hold the haircut until the winning streak's over. He should hold the haircut until the winning streak ends. Yeah. Well, that would be too hard, Woods. That would mean we do it today. The next day. But that would mean they'd win one game and I got to do it? No, no, no. He means if they get to nine, if that's the number we decide, then you have to continue that haircut until they lose. The odds are in my favor on that one. I'd rather do that. Yeah. Yeah, done. What if they lose and then they have like a break? Then I'm good. I get to shave my head. No. No, you got to keep it. If they lose, I get to shave my head. No, no, no. They break.
They don't have games for a few days. They have to lose. That doesn't really happen. They only usually get about a day off. I like that. But I'd do it. It's fine. Perfect. Good job, Zach. Should we agree to that? I like that. Okay, so here's the rules. The Padres have to win. Well, let's see what people think. We haven't done that yet. One thing at a time. M1 Frankie V from Coronado. What do you think? I think Woods is being a Woods. Come on. Really? What? A wuss? I thought he was being a wuss. Do you know what a fryer's haircut is? Do you know what a fryer's haircut looks like? It looks ridiculous. It's a donut on your head. Yes. I love donuts. That's true. But if you don't have to do it, then it's not that big. Do you say, hey, listen, I'll take a flogging and I'll let people shoot arrows of fire. Yeah, but nine is an attainable goal. I mean, it's not like they can't get there. The odds are against it. We should get a glue-on wig for you, Mikey, and you should have to glue it on. Not the same. No, I mean, the truth is that if I was going to make that bet, that's a big thing to do. If it were me, I would be trying for 15 games. It would be like for me going, all right, you have to wear a Hitler mustache for
I mean, you don't have hair, so you can't do the Friars thing. What if I was like, hey, dude, you got to roll Hitler's stash for a week? Well, I'll tell you, I'll be honest with you. I'm not making any of those kinds of bets. That's true. I know. You're the one that brought it up, Woods. Well, somebody brought it up on Facebook. I thought it was a good idea. A nine-game streak, I do a Friars. But then it's turned into, you got to wear it for six years. And you have to pay everybody in the show five grand. You should. M1 E-Man from San Diego. Good morning. Hey, I thought it would be good if he does the ball game, but then he has to wear the Friar outfit one game. Well, no. Not at all. See, I think that that is counterintuitive. Yeah. Because if he wears the Friar outfit... It's a bit. It's a bit. If he doesn't wear the Friar outfit, people are like, oh my gosh, that guy thinks that's cool. Which is awful. Which is absolutely awful. Going to that game. I mean, get everyone riled up. But going to that game, walking out of my car, into the ballpark with that dome. Like, with my wife, more than likely I'd be with her. I wouldn't even walk anywhere with you. She probably wouldn't go with me. No, she wouldn't go with you. Oh, look at this, dude. M1, Nubian Prince. Hello, Bree. Good morning, Mikey. Good morning. Hey, nine games, dude, that's hard, dude. Yeah. I'm all for it, man. Keep it the way it is.
So you say nine games, but you're also acknowledging that that's really hard to do. Yeah, that's hard to do, dude. Yeah, I mean, you know that would. You know, it's going to be pretty hard, especially right now the way the Potters are playing. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be hard, man. But, yeah, if you do it, I want pictures. Oh, yeah. Oh, trust me. Trust me. All right. What if we met in the middle? I'll meet in the middle. Six. I'll even go six. Oh, wow. Okay. Six games. Six games in a row. Six? Really? Yeah, I'll go six since everyone's called me a wuss. Bless you. I don't think you're a wuss. Thank you. I don't think so either. Say what up, black people? Six is hard? Yeah, I think six will be. Well, no, no. What? Better than nine. No, listen. I think three is hard for a professional baseball team. That three is not hard. Three is not hard? No. Is four hard? No. Is five hard? Five's tougher than four, but it ain't that tough. I mean, you win a four-game series, which is a sweep, which the Phillies just did to the Padres, no problem. I mean, that's no big deal. All right, so then what we know is that to win four games in a row isn't that big a deal. We're asking you to do two more than what's not a big deal. Yep. All right, I think that's fair. Fair? Yeah. Six games. So they won last night. Five more games. I'm shaving a fryer. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there it is. And you'll keep it on.
Until the streak ends. Sure. And then I'll shave it. My wife's mortified. I guarantee you. We got to have the rules laid out. You got to lay them out sweetly. Let's see. So the Donald Trump. Robert De Niro. So De Niro disses Donald Trump. Says he doesn't think that he would make a good president. And he also criticizes him over the birther issue. Birther issue. Donald Trump says that. President Obama doesn't have a birth certificate. Well, as far as we know, he doesn't. All he's produced is a certificate of life birth. However, I don't care. I don't care. The Supreme Court ruled it. Yeah, I mean, I don't care. I mean, if he had a birth certificate, clearly he'd have shown it to us by now. He doesn't have one. Okay, maybe you lost it. What about like records from the hospital where you're born? They don't have it. I know, it's weird. They don't have it. Good enough for the Supreme Court. Yeah, good enough to be elected president. Who cares? Good enough to be elected president. I know. Yeah. You know the paperwork you have to produce to get hired somewhere? Yes. Like here. Remember how much paperwork we had to produce to get hired here? Yeah. Imagine that for the president. I would wonder that. I would wonder that. Because if you had to produce a birth certificate, Woods, he didn't. Right. So.
He produced a certificate of live birth. A certificate of live birth. He produced what they thought was good enough to get into office. Which couldn't be a very short rap sheet. Good enough for me. Don't you need a birth certificate to even get like a passport though and stuff like that? Like how does he travel around the world? Certificate of birth, same thing. It's like not having a driver's license. It's like having an ID. Do you know what I'm saying, Sienna? It's like what he has is not a driver's license. It's an ID. He has an ID. Yeah. It's true. No. A little different. Those are different because. An ID, a driver's license allows you to drive a car. Yeah. You're operating something. The ID allows you to get into Stingery and get cocktails if you want. I'm sure he has a passport. He's been around the world. Right. So if he got a passport. If he got elected president, whatever he's got is all good. I'm with you, LLB. If it was good enough, whatever he had. Yeah. Was good enough to get him into office? Okay. It's kind of a moot point at this point, no? I mean, he's kind of already in. You're not going to boot him for it. You're not going to boot him. You should have made a stink before. You kind of want to find out, though. They did, and the Supreme Court found out. The Supreme Court said, yes, we accept this, and they're the Supreme Court. There it is. So there's really nobody higher than them. Well, Robert De Niro. Well, Donald Trump knows people. Oh, yeah. Donald Trump, yeah. And it's on. And that's all he said, by the way, that he knows people. I heard from somebody. Who's your people?
You don't worry about it. I got people. Well, here's Trump talking about De Niro, criticizing him over it. Here in New York City over the weekend, they've been having the Tribeca Film Festival, the guy who started it, Robert De Niro. It sounded like he did call you out. He said a couple of days ago, quote, I won't mention names, but certain people in the news in the last couple of weeks, just what are they doing? It's crazy. They're making statements about people that they don't even back up. Go get the facts before you start saying things about people. And apparently later he did reveal that he was, in part, talking about you. What do you say to Robert DeNiro? Well, he's not the brightest bulb on the planet. I mean, I've been watching him over the years, and I like his acting. But, you know, in terms of when I watch him doing interviews and various other things, we're not dealing with Albert Einstein. Okay, so he's stupid because he criticized you. Now, I wonder what Trump would have said if the same interviewer had said, hey, Robert De Niro just came out and said that you would be the best thing for our country. Would you have said, well, listen, I've seen a few of his movies. I've seen him in interviews. He's not the sharpest tool. Absolutely not. In the tool drawer. Absolutely not. I think Robert De Niro is a fabulous actor and he's to be respected as is his opinion.
is what he would have said. Yeah. How about just say, how about this? Hey, Robert De Niro has come out and said that you're a complete buffoon for what you're saying about the president and wanting to see his birth certificate. How about you say, hey, listen, he's entitled to his opinion. Right. And you're fired. How about you say, how do you sound like a president? He doesn't want to. He's dug in. Sounds like he's WWE. Yeah. That's what he reminds me of. He reminds me of WWE. Same bit that happened with Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie O'Donnell said something about him, and his bit is, if you hit me with a baseball bat, I'm going to come at you with a gun. Which is great if you're the mob, but if you're the president of the United States, why don't you sound like you're grown up? It almost seems like a bit to me. Like he's doing this just to keep the exposure wheel going. But you know what, Jake? He's actually got constituents. He's actually got people that really believe. And that's the scary part. The scary part is that he attacks people in a personal way. Whatever you think about Rosie O'Donnell, he was very public about saying she's a fat, blah, blah, blah. Listen, as the host of Celebrity Apprentice and a guy that owns casinos, I don't give a crap what you think about Rosie O'Donnell. You can say whatever you want. But as the leader of the free world, I don't like that in the leader of the free world.
What if Tony Blair disagrees with a policy you put in place? You're like, listen, I'm not going to listen to that limey over there. He doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. I've got half a mind to go over and blow him up. I mean, that's scary. I don't want to hear Obama go, well, he's a fat frigging idiot. Why do I care what he said? He's a fat frigging idiot. And he can suck it. You don't want that from your president. Actually, that would be pretty funny. A president said you can suck it, but the feast. What do I say to Omar Gaddafi? Feast on this. Yeah, there you go. Well, here is Donald Trump saying that he's been told. He's been told that Obama's birth certificate is missing. I've been told very recently, Anderson, that the birth certificate is missing. I've been told that it's not there and it doesn't exist. And if that's the case, that's a big problem. I just heard that two days ago from somebody. Somebody.com. Somebody.net. From your investigators? I don't want to say who, but I've been told that the birth certificate is not there. It's missing. Well, what if it was your Aunt Judy? Right. You don't want to say who? What if it was your Aunt Judy? What if it was Bryce Torres that works in your office? Yeah, what if it was Bryce Torres? He makes copies for you. Mr. President, I heard that...
And you can say that. Don't say my name, but just I heard Obama. He doesn't have it. And I feel badly about that because I'd love him to produce the birth certificate so that you can fight one on one. I mean, if you look at what he's doing as president with fuel prices and everything else, you can do a great fight one on one. You don't need this issue. What would you do about fuel prices? Tell us that. Yeah. How about tell us that? Give us solutions. Yeah, man. That's what you do about. gas prices instead of telling us about birth certificates. Still haven't told you the Facebook thing yet and I want to so we will. And do you remember Paul Reiser? Yeah. He was on that show Mad About You with Helen Hunt back in the day. Oh yeah. He had a new show called The Paul Reiser Show where he plays himself and he's like washed up and then he becomes a game show host. That's what The Paul Reiser Show by NBC. That's what it was about. NBC canceled it after two episodes. And he's mad. He's mad about you. He's mad about you. Well, when we come back, you get to decide because we'll play you a clip. By the way, the clip was not easy to find. I had to do some searching to find a clip of this show. And so we'll play it and you decide for yourself. That's next.
949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes are huge. On Saturday, May 14th, The Mikey Show and M1's Takeover Qualcomm Stadium. From 10 a.m. to Asian Street, new Mikey Show sticker is in and ready for your ride. Every bar receives a prize. We've got a his and her mountain bike from Haro, a brand new Ibanez guitar, a 42-inch LG plasma with 5.1 surround sound, and Blu-ray player. Plus, we're adding new prizes daily. Did we mention a brand new $24,000 FXDB Harley from San Diego Harley-Davidson? There's new, and then there's new. As in original. As in, the reset button has been pressed.
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you by Sig Alert. Rush hour is brutal going in and coming home, so before you get on the road, log on to SigAlert.com, track your commute, see the exact speeds along the way. That's SigAlert.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love that iPhone. It really is great. Lauren. I've taken a striptease class before. Woods. Yeah, a kid that likes to be told what to do. Sienna. Why keep the antibacterial hand gel in my purse at all times? And Jake. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. On FM 94.9. NBC cancels Paul Reiser's show after two episodes. How bad can it be? Paul Reiser thinks he was gypped. We'll give you a scene from the show. And you decide for yourself. Sienna, what's going on in the news? This is a crazy story. More than 480 Taliban tunneled out of an Afghan prison. Now, most of them are Taliban fighters, but they dug what was uncovered on Sunday was a 1,050-foot tunnel that militants say was...
spent more than five months building. They tunneled through the darkness, like I said, over a thousand feet, and government officials are confirming that the tunnel was dug from a house near the Saraposa prison, and that inmates had somehow gotten out of their locked cells. Oh, wow. Just insane. 480 people tunneled through this. Oh, no. I know, it reminds me of Shawshank Redemption. Yeah, it does. It's so much crazier. Yeah, it's like Shawshank, only terrorists got out instead of old red. Andy Dufresne. That's right. The tunneling. Oh, my gosh. Now, if you're a PlayStation player, this is nuts, and I'm sure you know all about this. Sony's PlayStation Network is continuing to be down since Friday morning. They've been having problems. There's been an outage. Dang it. It's preventing users of the gaming system from accessing online features. Now, they're saying, Sony's saying on their website that there's been an external intrusion, which what means? Their system was hacked. Yeah, so something's going on. They keep saying, don't worry, we'll get it fixed, we'll get it fixed. I guess it was fixed, and then it went out again. They need to tweak the RAM. Yeah, okay. It's a simple problem. It's absolutely simple. It's one tweak. If you're trying to get on PlayStation, you're going to be greeted with an error message. I've been on it all week. I've looked at it. You tweak the RAM, you're fine. Okay. Idiots. This is me running that company. I see me in time.
Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, there was a rumor around that the rookies that are entering into the NFL draft, which starts on Thursday night, weren't going to come. It was going to be this big show of solidarity. And actually, it's gone the completely other way. They're going to have a record number of rookies at the draft on Thursday night. 25 players have been confirmed to attend the 2011 NFL draft at Radio City Music Hall. That's the most ever to attend the draft. Poor guys, though. There you go. Poor guys. I know, dude. No one's paying attention. And it was an awesome night last night at Petco Park against a very good team. The Padres walked off with a win in the 13th inning. Ryan Ludwig, who has not been hitting anything, hit two homers, including this game-winner cut, too. He's got to feel good. 0-1 on the way. High in slider. High fly ball. Deep left center field. That is to the wall. It is leaping. Ball going. Ball gone. He just won the ballgame. Brian Ludwig just won the ballgame with a walk-off home run. A two-run shot in the bottom of the lucky 13th. How about them boys? They get some hitting tonight. They maybe, maybe, maybe are coming out of it. They know maybes about this. They won the ballgame. The 12 people that were there at like 1 o'clock in the morning were stoked. Yeah, it was a good win against a really good Braves team. So congratulations to those guys. And five more to go, and I give myself a Friars haircut. That's right.
There are five people on the Mikey Show, myself, Woodsy, L.O.B., Sienna, and Jay. And if you are an M1, you are a fanatic about the Mikey Show. You listen to the Mikey Show with great fervor. You go out of your way to love the Mikey Show, meaning you've moved to La Jolla just to be closer to Sienna. I hope you do. A little creepy. You lose your android just to be more like LOB. You gain 450 pounds just to be like me. Stop it. You lose 450 pounds just to be like Woods. Almost. That's what an M1 is. An M1 is fanatical about the show. An M1 brings sexy back. An M1 brings sexy back? Uh-huh. And M1 brings sexy back. What do you mean by that? We never said that before. It's never been discussed. Nobody here on the show really brings sexy back. We never really lost it. It's more like a thing. It's weird though. It's just taking a lyric from a...
Terrible song. Yeah, terrible song. Yeah, that we don't ever play. That I actually like. It's a pretty good song. I like the song, we just never play it. The song's terrible. It's actually a good song. It's a terrible song. But it doesn't really fit with our show, though. Justin Timberlake. It's good. A pair of the two. Strange. Strange. You know, strange thing. Well, anyway. Paul Reiser. Paul Reiser. He was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. He was talking about his show, The Paul Reiser Show, that got canceled after two episodes. Now, it was interesting because what happened was based on the numbers. I don't know much about show business, but apparently big numbers, a lot of people watching, good. Right. Less people watching, not as good. Yeah, right. So they said, they decided, I don't know if people watch, we're going to pull the plug, which was odd. It's on NBC because NBC, to my knowledge, they don't traditionally make bad decisions. Have you had that experience? I don't know what your experience is. I don't know. Well, here's what might kind of put things in context for you. Two episodes. So that means that the first show...
probably got good ratings, I guess is what Paul is saying, which would make sense. I mean, Paul Reiser had some cachet. The show Mad About You, yeah, the show Mad About You was a big success. 15 years ago, though, you know what I mean? Well, yeah, but it was a big success. It was a successful show. And so, if it did have big ratings the first night, there was a reason. Yeah. And I'm guessing that that reason is that people go, oh, yeah, he's the guy from Mad About You. I remember that show. I like that show. I'll watch. Yeah. And those same people, like, your likelihood of watching shows like that gets higher and higher the older you get. Yeah, that's true. So those people are still watching sitcoms. They've been sitting around in West Palm Beach going, I wish Paul Reiser would get a frigging show again. That's right. You know? Now, that was night number one. Night number two. Something must have happened in the ratings to make NBC go, oh, maybe not. Eject. It was like a content issue, I guess. The show was just terrible. Well, I dug up a clip from the Paul Reiser show, and you decide for yourself. Maybe it was brilliant. Let me ask you a question. What would you say I do for a living? From what I can tell, not much. Why? You know that form for the kids' school we got, the little box, Father's Occupation?
I don't know what to put in there. Put down what you used to do. People seem to enjoy that. But I don't do it anymore. Well, what do you think you do? I make pancakes, tell the kids to take a jacket. So put that down. It's not that big a box. So that's why you're going to host a game show, just to have something to put in the form? Who told you that? Your wife. Through my wife? I'm not doing a game show. I was offered to host a game show, but I said no. What are you kidding me? I don't watch game shows. I'm certainly not going to host one. Oh, look at you. That's what you should put down. Father's occupation snub. How does that help? I guess it's kind of making a little bit more sense now. It's like the poor man's curb your enthusiasm. Yeah. That music. It sounded like they were reading off. Yes. It sounded like they were doing a read-through. Yes. Before the cameras rolled. Do those before. Yeah. And then you get familiar with the dialogue. Familiar with it. Memorize it. And then you do it. And then you do the scene. Maybe it sounds better. Yeah. What do I know? It's pretty bad. Here's more of Paul Reiser about it. I don't take it personally because, listen, it's a business decision. And when you're NBC, listen, it's a big company. When you are at the last place network, you don't want to jeopardize that. Right. Oh, wow. Sour grapes.
Tastes real good. Oh, my gosh. Holy cow. You found your niche. Don't stay there. Yeah, so I get it. I get it. God bless you. ABC calls up his agent. They're like, remember when we were talking about doing Dancing with the Stars? Yeah. We were going to give him like a little relief offer. It's not going to happen. Yeah. Paul Reiser. Oh, man. He doesn't take it personally, even though the name of the show was The Paul Reiser Show. Basically a show about... Him. Him and his life. I don't take it personally. The idea of the show is that he was washed up and became a game show. Well, there you go. Facebook has a new thing called deals. Yeah. Now, this is cool. They're starting it in five cities, and they're going to see how it goes, but one of the cities is San Diego. So if you're on Facebook, go to your Facebook. Woods, you said that you didn't see it on your website. I didn't have mine. I didn't have it yet. Mikey and I already have it. Right on the homepage on the top, it's like a little box that says deals. I'll go to it right now. Yeah, if you go to your homepage, it takes about...
20 seconds and then it'll pop up. Yeah. And I have just subscribed to it. They ask you if you want to subscribe to it or not. And it's like Groupon. They give you a bunch of deals that are happening in your city. And I think it's pretty cool. I have a question though. What? I feel like if I do that, I'm giving them more information about me. Absolutely. I'm sure you are. Yes. I'm going to be bothered more. You will be bothered more. You'll probably have to buy a farm. Yeah. And like build a fence. Yes. And whack somebody out. Yeah, ask to be in the mafia. Yep. That's true. And a lot of people are thinking that, you know, that's why they're testing it out and see if people like it. But I subscribe to it. You ever fill out something in the mall and then get calls for 40 years? Holy cow. Yes. But they don't have, I mean, I don't know, how would they reach you? You ever go to a ball game and sign up for a... To win a free towel and you end up getting calls for a million years without some credit cards. How? It'll happen on your Facebook. Some people have their phone number on Facebook. It's true. Oh, God. Take those off, people. If you do subscribe to the deals, then users will be delivered via email. You're going to get, you know, and or through your news feeds. Oh, wow. The different deals. That's great. But what about when it's like, you know, hey, do you want to buy some OxyClean?
You're like, stop with these. It's the eighth one you've got that day. Yesterday, LLB got the iPhone yesterday. And I know I'm so happy for her. I'm very happy for myself. Mike's like a proud father. Yeah. And you got Facebook as an app, right? Now, when you opened your Facebook, did it say something about your phone number? Yes. Me too. First time yesterday, I opened my Facebook up on my iPhone. It says, would you like to give us your phone number? Because if you do, it will let your friends be able to call you by using Facebook. Like, no, sir. No. I don't want you to have my phone number. No. And I don't know if this is an iPhone thing, but it was like, can we get your location down? It's a Facebook. Yeah. When I signed it, it was like. Can we just know your location? So from now on, like it makes it seem like it's a friendly, like, hey, we're helping you out. Like this is just going to be. Is it a check in bit? I don't know. I've never. I mean, first day. You don't check in anywhere, do you? No, because it scares me. Yeah. I just clicked on deals since I subscribed to it. And it's cool. I think it's cool. It says kids art and technology classes at the Cove in Encinitas. Normally it's $85. They have it for $25. And you can buy the deals using Facebook credits.
So it's like paving a smooth path is what they're saying between a virtual currency and real world good and services. Sienna, we'll let you be the guinea pig. Dance classes in Oceanside at Ariel's Dance Studio. $19 marked down from $48. That's great. Now, those things are great, but we're going to let you be the guinea pig. We're going to see over the next few weeks if you start getting inundated with junk. I'll let you know. Can't we just leave Facebook for what it's for? Creeping on people? Yes. You know? Yeah. Looking up exes? Yeah. Stuff like that. I mean, for other people, not for me, but yeah, stuff like that. I think because so many people are using Groupon, they're like, well, why go to two different websites? Why not have everything you need? I think that's cool. Does Zuckerberg ever just steal ideas? Well, actually, I just thought you want to have one community where you won't have to stray and go to this website, that website. Mark, I don't get it. There was already a Groupon. You could already do it. clearly we can be better than them and smarter than them as well. Yeah, I know, but don't you personally, you stand to make millions of dollars, but doesn't that affect the consumer of Facebook? Yes, and we're hoping to replace all currency with credits. Facebook credits. Facebook credits. Solely. Like, all currency? Like, I won't have a dollar bill in my wallet?
That's laughable. So the dollar bill is laughable. All my money is just this abstract number that I don't carry cash in my wallet. Well, wait a minute, though. You're telling me. I would take it and just actually. You would rip it up. That's a million dollar bill. That's a million dollar bill. I thought it was a hundred. Well, a million dollar bill is what he found on his couch. Yeah, I haven't seen a hundred in like five years. Right. Well, my question to you is, so you're saying that little old ladies. are going to go to the grocery store and pay in Facebook currency? They won't go to the grocery store. In fact, we're working on a virtual cart right now. Okay. So you just order things and then if we can't get them to you through a portal, such as maybe port one or port three on your laptop, we'll get them to you through maybe like a cyborg. So you're telling me, Mark Zuckerberg, owner of Facebook, you're telling me that it is possible that I can buy tomatoes by liking them on Facebook. Virtual tomatoes. Friending them. With chits from your Facebook account. Credit. Yes. Yeah, you would have to first be friends with the tomato seeds. Right. You have to friend the seed. Yeah, friend the seeds. And then once you like the tomatoes, then you can get them delivered. Let's see how weird it's getting. Wow. Make it to that. Pretty heavy. How about we do a little... Every time. You do it every time.
This is supposed to be the music he plays once we start the bit, but not the intro. There we go. There it is. Yeah. Woods of Wisdom. Call us if you have a question. Well, I need your Woods of Wisdom. Woodsy. Yeah, he can fix them. Woodsy. Woodsy. Woodsy does Woods of Wisdom, and what it is is a little thing where... You can write in and ask questions of Woods. And he's our guy's guy. And so he will answer guy's guy type questions. Either through MikeyShow.com. You can go there and find the little deal that says Woods of Wisdom. Or you can call us. 5701-84-9 is the other way to do it. From the intranet. Woods. Do you think that it's weird if I take my 10-year-old son with me to the liquor store when I buy beer? My wife does. M1 Solid.
Yes, I do. It is? Yeah, I think so. Weird. I think it's a lot. That's not weird. It's not a big deal. It's at the liquor store. That's weird. Get it from the grocery store. It's not. What? Liquor stores are pretty seedy. Yeah, but the kids will be like, hey, can I get some gummy bears? Hey, can I get some scotch? No. Yeah. I don't think it's weird at all. Well, in New Jersey, you only could get it from a liquor store. You couldn't get booze from anywhere else. Yeah, you can get everything at the grocery store, but you just go to the grocery store. But what if he only needs one thing? Dad, what's Hustler? Oh my gosh. It's covered up with a black bar. Dad, why is it covered up with a black bar? Dad, what's Hustler that's covered with a... Dad, what's Hustler that's covered with a black bar? It's in 7-Eleven like that. Dad, what is Jugs Magazine? Oh, my God. Is it about milk? Oh, my God. Yes. Yes. Like Jugs and Milk? It's about milk holders. Milk holders? Why would anybody want a book? What grade are you in now? Third. Next year, you'll know. About fourth grade is when you'll start figuring this stuff out. About Jugs? I don't want to milk. Yeah. I don't want anything about milking. You'll want to know what this is. I don't want you to know, but you'll want to know down the road. Well, let's get one. Nah.
Why? Because it's inappropriate. Let me get my whiskey and then we'll get out of here and I'll tell you all about it. So let me get my seven and my seven. My seven and seven. And we take it to the house. No, I mean, I don't know. It's not a porn store. It's not. Weird is not the right word. Is it inappropriate? I don't know. I mean, you're lugging your kid. You're lugging your kid around to pick up a 12 pack. Right now, I just want you guys to mentally. smell the liquor store. You've just walked into it. You smell it. You know, it's got that liquor store. They all do. They all got that same smell, you know? That liquor store smell. They don't? No, the one by my house is nice. I'm not talking about, I'm not asking anything about nice or bad or whatever. All I'm saying is just imagine walking into a liquor store that has a liquor store smell. Super friendly. Are kids allowed in there? Absolutely. Yeah, kids walk in and out. They give them lollipops. They do. They give them lollipops. It's like a little beach side. I don't have kids, so what do I know? Ding, ding, ding, ding. Lollipop says we'll see you in seven years. Yeah, see you in seven years. A lot of liquor stores double as your little neighborhood. That's true. If you live walking distance to something, it's got all your sundries. Yeah, get your scotch and milk. 570-1949. Let's see. M1 Lonely is on the line from San Diego. Are you there, Lonely? Yes. Hi, Lonely. Hi. What's your question for Woods?
Um, my question was, oh, am I asking too much of my boyfriend to, like, stand up for me when his roommates start, like, calling me names and stuff? Lonely, how old are you? 19. Okay, here's what I want to do. I want to take a quick timeout. Can you hold on the line? Uh-huh. Okay, hold on with us. We're going to take a quick timeout. When we come back, we'll have Woodsy answer this for you, okay? Okay. Don't go away. It's about to get all weird up in here. Stop. Move forward. I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't know you were so sensitive. When we come back, we'll talk to M1 Lonely from San Diego and try to get a little clarification from Woodsy. It's a Mikey show. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9.
FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Old War Kids. Now hang me to try it somewhere. On the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. Tickets are only $35 with no additional fees. I hear this. One dollar of every ticket sold will go to the About The Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at independencejam.com or at fm949sd.com. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, presented by Miller Lite, Sunday, June 5th. Be there.
Welcome to McDonald's. Want to try our new McChicken sandwiches? Sure. Jalapeno cheddar or cheddar onion? What? They're just $1.49 each. What's with the voice? Well, with all that. Melted cheddar, spicy jalapeno salsa, or caramelized onions. These are pretty bold sandwiches. Get the simple joy of two bold new flavors at McDonald's. The spicy jalapeno cheddar McChicken or the savory cheddar onion McChicken. Just $1.49 each. Please drive through. If you're bold enough. I'm bold, baby. Price and participation may vary. My fellow lemons, we have been bitter for a long, long time. We've been called reject, flop, dud, and squeezed until there's nothing left to give. But now there's new McCafe frozen strawberry lemonade from McDonald's. An icy lemon swirl with strawberries for a touch of sweetness. It's time to let go of our bitterness. Be tart. Be sweet. Be new McCafe frozen strawberry lemonade. This is bigger than us. The simple joy of being a lemon. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. At participating McDonald's. So let me tell you, AIS, they are making deals for everybody, including you. And you can get a hold of them right now either by the internet or by calling them. On the internet, it's AISinsurance.com. Or you can call them 800-777-4-AIS. 4-A-I-S. 4247. But I did, and I saved $1,600 a year.
And you can save a lot too. Auto insurance rates have dropped in California. And you can be paying less auto insurance than you even know. But you have to know which insurance companies are reducing their rates. That's where AIS comes in and saves the day for you. Let them do the shopping for you. Because they shop dozens of insurance companies. And they find the best combination of price and protection. Just for you. Their valued customer. 800-777-4AIS or online AISinsurance.com. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why? Because as a small business owner, it's more than your job. It's what you love. And you need technology that keeps pace with your passion. That's why Verizon delivers all the wireless solutions you need to make sure your business rules. Verizon technology gives you the power to enable growth and boost productivity.
Because only Verizon offers an arsenal of advanced devices, powerful business apps, and mobile security safeguards, all backed by unrivaled customer support and the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. More small businesses choose Verizon Wireless than any other wireless carrier because they know the small business with the best technology rules. Now get the lightning-fast Thunderbolt by HTC for only $249.99. No rebate required. Exclusively at Verizon. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash smallbusiness, or call 1-800-VZW-4Biz. Requires new tier activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Preference results based on third-party study. Hey guys, this is L.O.B. with a Mother's Day gift idea for ya. Now you've heard me talk about how I use ovation on my hair. I love it. It makes my hair feel and look stronger, healthier, shinier, longer than it's ever been. And you know what? I think I look pretty fabulous. At least my hair does. So I want to give the gift of fabulous to all the moms out there because we know that they deserve it. Now this can be for a friend, a sister, a mom.
mom, a wife, any mother that you might know that you just think deserves it. Ladies out there also, if you know that you want the Ovation Cell Therapy System for Mother's Day, just go ahead and ask for it. Why not? Right now, for a limited time, Ovation has a special Mother's Day gift basket. That's right. It's got the Ovation Cell Therapy System that I'm always talking about. Plus, it's got a special bath bomb and then a relaxing scented candle. It's only going to be while supplies last. So go ahead and get on OvationHair.com and enter FM949 at checkout so you can get that special rate. And don't forget. You're going to have to allow for shipping. So go ahead right now. OvationHair.com. Enter FM949 at checkout to get your special rate. Make your weekends even hotter at SeaWorld with Viva La Musica. Starting this weekend through May 22nd. This fiery festival celebrating Hispanic heritage is back with savory authentic cuisine, local entertainment, and performances from today's hottest international Latin artists live at Cirque Stadium. It all starts this weekend with Los Tucanes de Tijuana on Saturday, April 30th, and Intocable on Sunday, May 1st. Then next weekend, don't miss Zion and Lennox on May 7th, and Maria Gabriela and Peche from Isa Te Quiero Más on May 8th. Enjoy every weekend of Viva La Música along with all your favorite SeaWorld rides, shows, and animal encounters with a fun card. Pay for a day, play all year. The fun starts this weekend with Viva La Música at SeaWorld.
For showtimes or to buy your fun card, visit SeaWorld.com slash Viva. Concert seating is limited. Entertainment subject to change without notice. Event included with park admission. Restrictions apply. Hey, gang, it's your old pal Woodsy for NutriShop. I've got to tell you, the donuts and the fast food have finally gotten up to me. Thank God for the people at NutriShop. They've got me on something that is phenomenal. It's called the Contour Elite Stack. It's completely changed the way I live my life. They've got me on a cleanse, a fat burner, and a nighttime fat burner. I'm going to the gym. I'm eating right. I'm actually seeing results. I've been doing this now for about a week. It's phenomenal. Get to NutriShop, Eastlake, and Mission Valley. Dude, I'm trying to practice my jump shot. Get that stuff out of here. Because you know the stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut that we love so much? Yeah. Now they stuffed it with the ultimate stuffed crust. Not only is the crust stuffed with cheese, but now the toppings are stuffed in there too. Introducing the new ultimate stuffed crust pizza at Pizza Hut. Now you can enjoy your favorite toppings down to the last bite. Go meaty or get a classic style with pepperoni for only $12.99 or get the original stuffed crust pizza for only $12. Limited time offer up to three toppings. Additional charge for extra cheese or applicable. Prices, participation, delivery areas, and charges may vary.
This report, it's brought to you by Saquon Casino. Come on down to Saquon Casino where the prize is right. Every Monday through May 9th, you could win a share of $300,000 in cash and a chance at a million dollars at Saquon Casino. Otai Lakes Road, Dairy Mart Road, an accident here. They have not cleared this yet. Looks like two cars, injuries, and a closure in place. Five southbound before Pershing Drive. We've got a car stuck over on the right shoulder. Some backup here on the 56 westbound between the 15 and the 5. Also, we're seeing Eskin. The 15th southbound between the 78 and Via Rancho Parkway is slow. This report also brought to you by Account Temps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and their finance workload needs. You can call or visit them at accounttems.com, an equal opportunity employer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for this Tuesday morning. being brought to you by Joe Roper Surfboard Repair and Restoration Services, of course. Surf-wise today, we have an increase as that west north-westerly windswell has notched itself up another foot or so. A little bit of southwest underlying that as well. Unfortunately, though, it's pretty broken up and junky with some onshore residual wind bump from yesterday and early westerly winds putting a texture on it. Combined that with some pretty heavy tide swings, it's going to be pretty hard to find somewhere clean to surf this morning, that is to be sure.
Probably your best bet is to try to get lucky and pick off a beach break corner here or there. Size-wise, chest and shoulder high ways, though. Head-eye plus at the standout spots. Chest real broken up. They're pretty darn sloppy. Off to work for me. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for your surfboard restoration and reparation needs, you see Joe Roper. This surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. The Mikey Show with Mikey. When I see people at baseball games or at the fair and they're walking around with a white cardboard stick and it's got cotton candy wrapped around it, I feel sorry for them. That's a true statement. Lauren. The best way to clean your house? Yeah. In your underwear. Woods. You know what's good? Cheesecake. Zienna. I do everything for Todd, I swear. I pick out his clothes, I make his meals, I make all of his appointments. And Jake. I am a boob man. On FM 94.9.
will be coming into the studio at 8 o'clock, and we'll also be hearing hidden audio that Sienna got using a fart machine. That's great. Now, before we went to break, we were talking to M1 Lonely from San Diego, and M1 Lonely was asking Woods a question, and we had to take a break, but we're back now. M1 Lonely, go ahead and explain your situation as best you can. Lonely, are you there? Hello? Oh, dear. Oh, no. She was there. She was. We lost her. Try calling her back. It sounded like her phone gave out. It wasn't her. She was there for a second. It sounded like her phone gave out. So let's try to get her back on the line. Do you have another one? Yeah, I do. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Here we go. Oh.
There it is. There you go. Thank you, Sienna. You're welcome. Sitting next to your food. Weird. So weird. Woods, would you ever let one of your friends date your sister? M1 Glasgow. Well, M1 Glasgow, I do not have a sister. But if I did, yes, there are a few of my friends I would let date my sister. I'd let Chris marry my sister if I had a sister. Yeah, I'd let Chris date my sister. In a heartbeat. It's easy for you guys to say it without having sisters. Yes. Yeah. I'd let L.O.B. or Sienna date my sister because they're super stupid. Well, I would love that. Well, I mean, you know, if they were guys. Well, actually, I wouldn't. It'd be my sister, so that's actually disgusting. Well, if they were guys. All right. I have brothers. I would let L.O.B. or Sienna date my brothers. Yeah. But we're not guys. Men are pigs. Men are pigs. No, we're not. Yeah. Yeah, we are. Emma Lonely's back in the line. Are you there, Lonely? Yes. All right, Lonely. So explain your situation again. Okay. Give me just one minute. I wonder what's going on. Is she really 19? Are you really 19, Lonely? Yes. Yes? Sounds like a sad little angel. No, she's got a young-sounding voice. What are you doing right now? Oh, I'm heading to school. Okay, are you driving? No. Just hold on. Carpool. Her mom's driving her to high school. Oh, wow. Don't worry about us. Be nice. Hello. Hi, Lonely. Hi.
So what was going on? Sorry about that. What was going on? Oh, I was getting a ride from school, to school from a friend. Okay. Where do you go to school? Southwestern. Now, explain your situation to us. Okay. So my boyfriend, he lives with his roommates. And when we first started going out, they were pretty nice. And then I don't know. I don't know what happened. I don't know if it's just because I'm younger, so they see me as an, like, immature child or... What year were you born? 92. Okay. She's 19. I was a junior in high school. Yeah, so, where was I? Oh, so, yeah, I don't know, like, really if it was little things that I've been doing or really what it is, but just, it just caused a lot of tension, and then I guess they've just, like...
help it in until it just all comes out and then when it all comes out the names are called and it's just not not pretty so i i've talked to him before about it like how come you don't tell them like this isn't how i really am like they're just seeing like they're just seeing they're just assuming so when they assume they don't like i don't know they make an ass out of you and out of me oh wow Okay. They're mean to you. Right. And so what is your question? So I just want to know, am I asking too much of him to, like, stand up for me sometimes, even if I am wrong? Like, I know I'm not saying I'm always right when they're mad at me, but I'm just saying, like, just have somebody on my side. Because when I'm there, I'm by myself. Like, it's him and his friends, and then I'm over here. Yeah, you're outnumbered. And, you know, I know from experience, a guy will tend to, he'll posture in front of his friends. And he might do and say things in front of his friends that he wouldn't normally do when it's just the two of you. I don't think it's too much to ask for him to stick up for his girlfriend. You being his girlfriend, I don't think it's too much to ask at all. That's my take. Now, I'm fascinated. And so what I'm going to do now is I'm going to open the hood and I'm going to dig in. Okay, so question number one, Lonely. What do they get mad at you about? Just little things like...
Like if I leave my dish in the sink, like... Okay, hang on. Okay. Why do you leave your dish in the sink? When I'm done eating, I don't like to wash it right away. Okay, but that's not... Listen, I'm just asking the questions. We're all guilty of that, by the way. Yeah, I mean, we're just asking the questions. That's all I can do is just ask the questions. Uh-huh. Okay, give me another example. What else would they be upset about? I guess like... If me and my boyfriend want to use the room, then he shares the room. And, like, it's like nobody's home. But then when they do get home and they want to get in the room, the door is locked and we're busy. And they're just, like, they get upset about that. And that's what makes me mad, too, because it's not just me. Like, they just get mad at me for having that door locked. They don't see that it's both of us in there, not just me. So that's another thing. which is, like, really annoying. Mm-hmm. Well, when I got your, you sent us a text, okay? Yes. And when I got the text, I found this very interesting for numerous reasons. One, I don't watch The Real World. I don't watch Jersey Shore. And the reason that I don't watch those shows is they make me nervous, okay? The drama makes me nervous.
It's the same reason that I don't go to Coachella. I told you this last week. I don't go to Coachella because it's difficult for me to see the 20-year-old girl in a bikini top and real short, short jeans on the ground with her cell phone. with muddy hands for no apparent reason. Like, you don't even know why they're muddy. She's got mud all over her face, and she's on a cell phone drunk going, I don't know where it is. I don't know. I don't know. I told you. I don't know. That makes me uncomfortable. And so, you know, so when it's actually the Mikey show, I'll dig into these things because I actually get to talk to a live person, and I get to dissect and understand, and it's an exercise. in sociology for me. Which you love. I love it, love it, love it. And so my question for you, Emma Lonely, is if, you know, why would, if I went over to somebody's house and I knew that they didn't like me very much, I certainly wouldn't leave my dishes in the sink. Well, yeah, this is in the beginning. This is like in the beginning and like nobody ever says anything to each other. Like in my house, like if somebody makes me mad, I'm going to tell them like, I'm just going to tell them like,
Yeah, but that's not your, this is not your house. Yeah, no, not in my house. But I'm just saying, like, with anybody, with a friend or with a family member, just with anyone, I'm going to let them know, like, I don't like that you're doing that. Okay. Hang on, just hang on. We got to pause for a minute. Sienna's coming out of her skin. Mm-hmm. Sienna's looking at me right now, like, and this is what Sienna's eyes are saying to me. Mike, I don't know what to do with this girl. I don't know what to do with her. I just, I don't know what to do with her. I'll just stay quiet. And so she says, I'll just stay quiet. But I don't want her to stay quiet because I want to know what's happening upstairs. Now, we can do that without being, you know, rude. We can be respectful. Oh, wow. Sienna's like, well, how am I going to do that? Maybe not. How do I do that? But, you know, I will say this. I'm just going to make some observations here. You know, when you called Lonely, I almost thought you were crying. Oh. It almost sounds like you're crying now. No, it's just really cold outside. Okay. Okay. And your voice is very young sounding. Yeah. 14, I'm guessing. No. She's not, though. I do believe that she is 19. I believe that. She's got a young sounding voice. Yeah. But there was something, and this is good for you to know, actually. There are some people that exude a...
a certain confidence immediately. And you know what else they exude? A certain likability. I'll give you an example. The guy that we interviewed that was on that National Geographic show where he goes out and he looks for monsters. Kupabara and all these ape monsters of the Amazon. The one thing I can tell you about that guy is he was very likable immediately. You heard the guy talk. He was likable. There was something likable about that guy. And immediately, and Lonely, this is important for you to know, immediately when I went to the line, you were not available. Now, here's the thing about this personality type. There will always, without exception, 100% of the time, not 99.9% of the time, 100% of the time, there will be a reason. When I say, you know, You kind of did, well, here's why. Well, you kind of did, well, here's why. There will be a reason for everything. But if you pull aside all those reasons, you'll realize I'll be more likable. But when you have a name like M1 Lonely, you're already just by the name coming off like you're miserable. Sure. You know, so we're all like, oh, here's going to be a sad story. It isn't M1 Bay Park.
No. It's M1 Lonely. Well, it is a lonely. She's saying that she's lonely because her boyfriend is excluding her from the thing. So she gave herself an M1 name that relates to her story. I get that. I get that. But I'm just explaining why. I think it's funny how girls always like to tear other girls down. Oh, no, no, no. I'm sort of with Sienna. Really? Because a girl was just in here on Friday and Lauren and I both had her back over everyone else. This girl spoke for two seconds and you were already like. Well, because she, first of all, you're calling a radio show for help and we go to her and she's not there. And then she puts us on hold. And you know why? Why? Because she was in the car with her, with a friend and she did not want her friend to be, I mean this, I'm just speculating. She did not want her friend to know that her and her boyfriend are having troubles. Okay. She wants the city of San Diego to know, but she doesn't want her friend. So everybody knows who M1 Lonely is, right? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get where you're going. Yeah, her friend that was right there next to her. Okay, I understand that. And you know what? She also doesn't have a voice that's very unique that people would recognize. Well, no.
Well, another thing, too, is that she's already contradicted herself because she said that she is sad that the roommates are getting mad at her for leaving her dishes in the sink. But she said, you know, with my friends and my family, if they do something wrong, I'm going to tell them, which is what the roommates did. But she's upset that they did that. But she said they didn't tell her at first. They blew up at her. It all built up. And then they started calling her names. They're being mean to her. You would have done the same thing. You're not just going to scold someone who's just first in your house, but then you're going to once they're there all the time. It's time that they learn the routine. I feel bad for her. I do, too. I feel sad. I feel sad for her, too. How about this? I think it's just nice to let someone know. You don't have to scold them. I'm not saying they have to scold me. They're just saying, look, these are the rules. In our house, right away, once you're done eating, you wash your dish. Don't leave it in the sink. I think that goes without saying, to be honest with you. And I think that must be one part of the problem. Of course. That's not the whole thing. It's an example. Give me some more. Okay, let me see. Have you said to your boyfriend? Yeah, she has. She said that. But let me hear some more. What else gets him upset? Let's see. Oh, they say that I'm, if I ask my boyfriend for something.
And one out of the hundred times I ask him for something, he'll say yes. But they only see that one time he says yes. Give me an example. Like, if I ask him, like, can we, instead of going to here to eat, can we go somewhere a lot nicer or, like, a sit-down restaurant, not fast food? And he's like, okay. And then they think that I'm, like... It's real... Listen. It's exactly what I said from the very beginning. They don't like you. They don't like you. Listen, they don't like her. Right. And the reason that they don't like her is because they, in the sounds of that, they think she's whiny. The truth is, and man, I heard somebody say this a long time ago. It made a lot of sense. Do you feel like you're a jerk? Well, you're probably a jerk. Mike, don't kick a dog when they're down. Hang on. This is... I realize that this is a tough love situation. Maybe they're just jealous of her. Absolutely. They're taking their time from their bro. When I met Kim and I had roommates, they hated her. How do you hate Kim? Guys, I'd be totally on board with that. Honestly, I didn't know who was going to call. I'm talking to this girl. I've never met her in my life. I've never talked to her. I don't know who she is. I never met her. I was full on waiting to go, wow.
These guys are pretty rough. I mean, this is, and by the way, I don't endorse or condone them treating her poorly. I don't. But what I am going to tell you is, is that I've done some things. I did something here this morning that made me kind of feel bad. Well, guess what? Maybe I am. Maybe I kind of am a jerk. If you feel like a jerk sometimes, sometimes it's because you're a jerk and you do something jerky. But they should feel like jerks. Well, they should. They should. But also, you've got to recognize things within yourself. You have to. You have to take accountability. You've got to take roll call. You've got to take inventory. And you've got to go, okay, so let's look at the facts here. This is all I know about the girl. She goes over to the house, and she leaves her dirty dishes in the sink. Sometimes she likes to have intercourse with her boy. Sorry. Sometimes she likes to go have private time in the bedroom. Private time in the bedroom. She said private time in the bedroom. Yeah. She has private time in the bedroom. And another guy lives in that bedroom. Yes. And he comes home and he wants to go in the bedroom. Maybe they watch movies and they want to be alone. Okay, maybe they're watching movies and they want to be alone. And the guy, it's also his room. And he realizes that they want to watch, you know, Notting Hill. But he wants to actually use his room too.
And he's got to wait for them to finish watching Notting Hill. But why would, is it a situation where they're sharing bedrooms? Yes, they're sharing a room. So the guy gets home from class. That would bother me. If I get home from class, I want to go into my room and the door's locked and people are in there making love maybe. Or watching Notting Hill. Or watching Notting Hill. They're just as annoyed with him as they are with her, but that's their boy. That's their boy. That's their roommate. But to me, I'm like, listen. if this is the situation, what am I doing over there? Yeah. It's her boyfriend. Yeah, it's her boyfriend. Okay, what do I do to correct the situation? Because a lot of times we get in these situations and we continue it. To correct the situation, she's saying she would hope that her boyfriend would stick up for her, which I think she's right. He should. He should. He should be the intermediary. Yeah, he definitely should. He definitely should stick up for her and he should say, hey guys, give her a break, blah, blah, blah. But he also has to be accountable when you've got to be accountable. Otherwise, you just look like you're a noisemaker. But she needs to stick up for herself, too. You need to learn to be like...
Look, if you honestly feel that you haven't done something wrong, if you left the dish and you're like, shoot, I shouldn't have done that, then apologize and be like, I won't happen again. But if you honestly feel like you're not doing anything wrong and they're just attacking you, then you need to stand up for yourself, especially if your boyfriend won't, which is lame if he doesn't. And you know what? Here's something else. I would tell my kids. I'll tell you. I would tell my kids this. Let's pretend you're my kid. I'm one lonely. I would say to you, if you're over at somebody's house, put on your best behavior. Yep. Be on your best behavior when you're over at somebody's house. Maybe make them all dinner, you know? A show of good faith. When you go over to somebody's house, you put on your best behavior. You act right. You don't put your feet up on the furniture. You don't leave your dirty dishes around. You don't go watching Notting Hill with a door. And you say to your boyfriend, listen, I've had relationships. I've had girls say to me. Hey, listen, I don't want my roommates thinking I'm a jerk. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's uncomfortable, man. Like, I had a girlfriend in college that had roommates, three roommates. And every time I would be over there, like, I would sleep there and then go to class later. When I'd get up and go, like, make myself breakfast or something, they're all there. I'm like, hi, good morning. And it was just tense. I just would try to just get my stuff and get out because it's so tense. I know.
M1, Harold has a great... I've heard this phrase, too, and I love it. Go ahead, Harold. Somebody calls you a jerk, blow them off. Forget that person. They're probably the one that's actually the jerk. If two or more people are calling you a jerk, maybe it's time to stop and reflect. Somebody told me that, only they used a different word instead of jerk. Yeah. They said the same thing. They said, listen, if one person thinks you're an a-hole... Yeah. Who knows what's up with that person? Maybe they're the a-hole. Somebody calls you an a-hole that day. Who knows? He says, do people call you an a-hole on the same day? You might be an a-hole. But these guys are banded together. Band of brothers. Stand up for yourself. Everyone lonely. But she could also cause more waves by being like, oh, you know what? I have just as much right to be here. He's my boyfriend. Do you live with your parents? Yes. And so that's why he doesn't come to your place?
No. Can't watch Notting Hill. Can't watch Notting Hill with the door locked. You guys need to try and go somewhere else, though, some of the time. Can sex forever be referred to as Notting Hill? Yes. Get an SUV. I had Notting Hill real good last night. Hey, I thought we had a code. Just say I watched. Kim and I watched Notting Hill. Thank you, Jay, for that. Still don't want to know. Whatever it's called. Still don't have to just blurt it out. We had a Notting Hill marathon at my house. Over and over and over and over. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. This Saturday night, you can see Mud Honey at the Cow's Bar. And next week, FM 94.9 presents TV on the radio at 4th and B. The show is May 2nd and is still happening. Ghostland Observatory play 4th and B May 6th. System of the Downs at Cricket Wireless May 21st. And on June 1st, Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra hit SOMA.
June 5th is the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion with Cold War Kids and Leaky Lee, Peter Bjorn and John, Band of Skulls, Everest, Crocodiles, Surfer Blood, The Soft Pack, Heavy Hawaii, and The Silent Comedy. Tickets are on sale now for that. IndependenceJam.com. June 16th, FM 94.9 presents Matt and Kim with The Thermals at House of Blues. A Perfect Circle hit the open air theater July 26th. And on August 19th, 311 and Sublime with Rome will play Cricket Wireless. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. The sedan dressed up like an SUV. How delusional. An SUV should be built to be an SUV. Thank goodness for the all-new Dodge Durango, with its available fully automatic all-wheel drive and best-in-class towing. Who's that sedan going to fool anyway? It's like a sheep in wolf's clothing. It's totally backwards. And the wolf is probably going to be a little upset the sheep is wearing its clothes. Introducing the all-new 2011 Dodge Durango SUV.
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UFC 129 from Rogers Center in Toronto. Live this Saturday night, only on pay-per-view. Visit 129.ufc.com for details. Cards subject to change. Or using your Cox remote control by tuning to channel 501 or HD on channel 798 after 5.30 p.m. on Saturday. Enjoy the fight. Live from Progressive. With more discounts than ever before, Progressive can save you a lot of money on your car insurance. Savings. you can get bigger savings than that savings that's close but you can really save a lot of money you're gonna get some savings much better discounts for safe driving owning a home and more now that's progressive call or click today progressive casualty insurance company and its affiliates mayfield village ohio prices vary based on how you buy discounts not available in all states or situations live from progressive next caller Hey, Flo. So how much money can I save by switching to Progressive? People who switch save an average of $500 with more discounts than ever. Like the safe driver discount. Cha-ching! Homeowner's discount. Cha-ching! Pay in full discount. Cha-ching! Okay, he gets it. Getting you all the discounts you deserve. Now that's Progressive. Call or click today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and its affiliates. Mayfield Village, Ohio. Average annual savings from 2010 National Survey of new customers who save with Progressive. Prices vary based on how you buy. Discounts not available in all states or situations. When you run a business, you're the boss.
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Grandpa would take the long way home, and we'd eat cookies and listen to nothing but jazz and the sound of the ocean. I know it's simple, but Grandpa and I both liked simple. And now, at every family reunion, that's the story I like to tell, over and over again. Mother's cookies. There's a memory in it. Visit your local Vons to find all the flavors you love, like circus animal, taffy, English tea, and... Back again, Mother's Peanut Butter Gauchos. Are you losing sleep at night over your tax problems? Is the IRS hounding or threatening you? Do you owe several years of back taxes? If so, California Tax Settlement Group can help. We take on the IRS for you. If you owe $10,000 or more, or if the IRS or California Franchise Tax Board is levying your pay or bank accounts, you need to call California Tax Settlement Group to get peace of mind today. If you are facing a tax problem, reacting properly and taking the right steps is critical. Do not speak to the IRS before you call California Tax Settlement Group.
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KBZT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to The Mikey Show. With Mikey. Because I'm tiny. Lauren. And I like fried chicken. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Sienna. Every time I go to the grocery store, I know someone practically in every aisle. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9. And that's why I hang my hand in ten minutes. Maybe four times a show. At least once a day. Yeah. I mean, I do it at least once a day. Oh. Sienna has, we gave Sienna a fart machine. We had her take it home. Uh-huh. We had her use it and secretly record her family. Now, she tried it on Todd. He didn't fall for it. He didn't fall for it. But your stepdaughter, Jenna, who's nine, she did fall for it. Just turned 10. Yeah, she and her friend. It's hilarious.
We'll play it for you in just a second. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, Nissan is recalling nearly 196,000 SUVs in the United States. Now, they're recalling them for corrosion problems. If you live in a cold area, they're saying Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, from the mixture of snow and water and salt that causes the corrosion. Now, the specific cars... Is that the song that's talking? It's like a whisper. Okay. Sorry, I'm like, is someone whispering to me right now? We're like, no. She'll finish the story, she'll know. The recall extends to the Nissan Pathfinder from 97 to 2003 and the Infiniti QX4 from 96 to 2004. So if you have one of those cars that may have some corrosion problems, you can get it fixed free of charge. Also, you remember Levi Johnston, the former fiancé of Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol? Yeah. Well, he's announced that he's going to be writing a tell-all book about the Palin family, which is due out this fall. It's called...
Dear in the headlights, my life in Sarah Palin's crosshairs. He said in a statement, I want to tell the truth about my close relationship with the Palins, my sense of Sarah and my perplexing fall from grace, how I feel and what I've learned. I'm doing this for me, my boy Tripp, and for the country. What a weird guy. Get out of the way. What's going on in sports, Woods? Well, if you're an Ohio State Buckeye fan, you are probably not too happy today. Head coach Jim Trestle. received a sharply worded rebuke from the NCAA, basically accusing him of withholding information and lying to keep the Buckeye players on the field that had accepted those improper benefits from the tattoo parlor, basically saying he knew a lot more than what was going on and lied to keep them on the field. He's going to be in a little bit of trouble. They're going to appear before the NCAA Infractions Committee on August 12th. It's a pretty, pretty huge story in Ohio State. And then we got some audio. I told you yesterday about Brandon Marshall. He's a wide receiver. He used to play for the Broncos. Plays now for the Miami Dolphins. Was stabbed by his wife. And we have the 911 call from his wife. It's kind of interesting. Got one. What's your emergency? Please come. It's an emergency. Somewhere. Hello? Please come. It's an emergency. Come to where?
Yes. Sounds like it. Sounds more like a Zeppelin. Yeah. She might be in a Zeppelin. Hello. Hello. Call 911. Not even a voicemail? Oh, my God. Nothing. Nothing. Not even. Hi, this is Brandon Marshall. Hey, you've reached Brandon. I'm not here right now, but leave a message. We'll be back to you. Hi, this is Marshall Resonance. We're not home. Hi, this is Brandon. Hi, this is Marsha. One ringy dingy. We're not home. Nothing. It just keeps ringing? It keeps ringing. Oh, wow. Which means she must have got back on the phone and called someone because otherwise it doesn't voicemail pick up at home or on a cell phone? One would imagine. But yeah, so she, you know, hey, come quick. It's an emergency. Come where? Come quick. It's an emergency. Click. That's it. Oh, boy. So weird. We have, and then we got to get to lots of other things, but we have M1 Lonely who texted us because
Her boyfriend, you go over to your boyfriend's house, right? Uh-huh. And he's got roommates. How many roommates? Three. Three roommates. And you say they don't like you and they are mean to you. Yes. And your question was, should your boyfriend stick up for you? Yes. What do I hear in the background? Birds. Birds. Yeah, I'm guessing birds. I thought you were at school. Yeah, I am at school. They have birds at school. She's sitting outside waiting to go to class. Why are there birds? Why are there birds at a college? Birds don't go to college. Wait, why would birds be circling a campus? That's like birds in a cage. Is this Bird University? It's like a pet store. You're at the zoo, aren't you? Yes. M1 Anthony from Mission Hills. Yep. What did you want to say? Well, I was going to say that, you know, first off, the gentleman that he lives with, all of his roommates,
They don't really have much of a right to go and be mean to her, talk down or anything like that, and that her boyfriend should stick up for her, of course. However, on the flip side of that, she doesn't have a right to the room. She doesn't pay rent. When she does go over and they are in the room, and the gentleman comes home and he just got off work or just got done doing whatever, and he wants to use his room to either sleep, change, do anything, he has full right to it. He pays rent. But his beef should be with the roommate, because the roommate's in there. It's not like she's in there taking a nap by herself. She's a guest. I say tonight, if you go over there, you bring them some dinner, or maybe if they have a Wii or something, buy them a new game, or do something to show them appreciation for the fact that you're always there, and you use their dishes, and they use their bathroom, and use their room. You're being your best behavior. Yeah, bring them something, a little treat. Okay, yeah. I've tried everything. It's, I don't know. Everything. I mean, I haven't been over there in a while because of... Go with that routine. That seems to work the best. Just don't go there. I'm serious. It's not fair, though. Hey, it's his, the boyfriend's fault, so he can come find her. That's true. You can deny him. Yeah. What I'd do is I'd build a teepee. Kim and I, we'd... I'd build a teepee, and we'd go make love, and I'm sorry. We'd watch Notting Hill and that. When it went on with us, we just, I actually own the house. We moved out.
Got her own apartment. I built a new house. I owned the house. Why'd you move out of the house you owned? Because it was a party house. And I was like, I found the girl that I was going to finally settle down with. And it was like, if I lived at that house, all it was was trouble. I mean, people would show up in the middle of the night with kegs of beer. Like, woo, it's 2 a.m. There's a keg in your living room. It's awesome. Well, good luck to you, Lonely. I hope it works out for you. Yeah, good luck. Stay strong. Thank you. Do you. Yeah, be strong. Be strong. Be strong. Yeah. Live strong. Live strong. Yeah, I see. I guess in somebody's house, you're mackling. Yeah. Yeah. You have to do that. Bring him, like, some cake or something. Guys like snacks. You like cake, actually. Bring me eclairs. You'd be fine. So, you know, like, some donuts. I'd be stoked. Where's the fart machine? I want to show you what we got here. Ordered this on Amazon. I don't think it's turned on on the side. All right. You do this. You just press this button. It doesn't matter where you are. It has a remote control, so you can be in another room and still set it off. You can do this. It's great fun, you know. It's great fun. Yeah. It's great fun. Men especially love the sound of a fart. Juicy. We just like it. Since we were kids, it's funny to us. Yeah. Well, Sienna took it home, and she secretly tapes everybody.
She tried it on her husband, Todd, but it didn't work. It didn't work. So my stepdaughter, Jenna, came home with one of her friends. And they were in her room. And so Todd was real excited about the fart machine. He put it under their bed. So they were sitting on their bed playing Nintendo Wii. You can hear the music to the Nintendo. And we were in the other room with the remote. Here's what happened. She blamed the dog. It was Zipper. No, seriously, that wasn't me. I swear to God, that wasn't me. Who is that? Who is that? It's Bella and Jenna. I know, but who was saying, I swear it wasn't me? That's Bella. Jenna was immediately accusing Bella. Poor girl comes over to our house. And she's like, oh, you farted. And she said, no, I think it was Zipper or Dog. I love the seriousness.
So great. It was not me. With Mario in the background. 10-year-old girls. Yes. What was that? Did she just say? Dude, what was that? What did they do? Jenna just went to the door, opened it and closed it and said, my door creaks. So they think that it was the door. So Bella's like, see, it wasn't me. It's a creaky door. It's the worst thing you can accuse a girl of being a little girl. I know. That was the other noise that came from under the bed. Go look at her again. Wait, shh. What? She said, wait, shh. Like, they know something's going on now. It might have been. They're licking. What? They're licking everyone. Oh, wow. There's Donna? There's Donna.
Jenna figures it out. She figured it out. What is that? I've been recording you guys. Fantastic. I love the music. It's incredible. That's the greatest thing. That is the greatest thing. What a big fart family. Jenna knew something was going on after a while. Maybe run it back. Maybe run it back. So mean. She's so mean. Fart it. Fart it. Fart it. Fart face. You're a farting fart machine. Fart face. It stinks. Don't come to my house. It stinks. You got a stinky butt. Fart it. Fart her. What's that? I think that was Zipper. Zipper. So Bella blames it on the dog. Zipper wasn't even in the room. She's like, Zipper's on the cage. Zipper's not under there. No, seriously, that wasn't me. I swear to God, that wasn't me. Zipper's not under there. I implore you.
Believe me. To believe this is a true fact. It was not me. Poor Bella's like, I'm never going back to the Ferrara house. What was that? Who said dude what was it? Bella. She's so cute. That was the other noise that came from under the bed. Go look at you again. That's Jenna laughing. Oh, my God. You and Todd just... Dying. Well, the best thing about it is Jenna and Sage share room, so there was a baby monitor hooked up, so we were listening to the whole thing and dying, quietly laughing. You would have had to ball gag me from laughing. I would have been like, oh. No problem. It's the greatest. You farted. I like when she busts Todd. Did you hear Todd? That's incredible. You suck. That's so great. You suck, Dad. That's incredible.
Well, let's do this too. So we are trying to get the city fired up about the Padres. We're really trying to do our best to get the city fired up about the Padres. So we sent LLB out on the street. Yeah, this audio is going to be like wah, wah, wah compared to the fart audio. You can't stop that. Well, we sent you out to talk to people and get them to do Take Me Out to the Ballgame. Yes. And so what did you do? You just said, hey, do you know the words? Yeah, it was surprisingly... difficult to get people to be able to sing the whole thing. Yeah, I can't. Come on. You can? Oh. I don't know if I can. Are you an American citizen? Dude, I know Star Spangled Banner. I don't know the whole take me out to the... It was probably about 50-50, I'd say. Holy cow. Mm-hmm. That's sad. Teens and Cracker Jacks, yeah. Where are you? You're at the concession? This is at the Pizza Port in Solana Beach. Oh, okay. It's part of it. So it's a group effort. Group effort. Wow. No one knows it? It's embarrassing. He knows it. If you want to be, yeah. On what show? The Mikey Show on 94.9. No way. So what's your name? Alex. Okay, Alex, can you start from the top? Take me out to the ball game. Take me out to the crowd. Nope, yeah. He's already off? That's out? Yeah, he's wrong. What's wrong with it? Take me out with the crowd.
I don't give myself enough credit. I guess I knew it. You know it. A little sharp dog. I guess I know it. A little pitchy dog. Tommy and Kramer. Chris Lakey. Okay, so you're both going to try. Do you want to try to go first, Chris? I have no idea. You don't want to do it at all? Chris didn't know it. Take me out to the ball game. Take me out to the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks. I don't care if I ever get back. Cause it's root, root, root for the whole team. If they don't win, it's a shame. Cause it's won. Two, three strikes, you're out of the old ball game. That's not bad. That's a decent effort. All right, last one. Okay, my name is Heather. Oh, Heather. Some water? Take me out to the ball game. Take.
Me out to the crowd. That's right. I don't really even like crowds, though. I kind of get agoraphobic. But you can still buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks. I don't care if I ever get back. Actually, I do care because he knows it. So it's root for the Padres. If they don't win, I guess they'll play again. Because it's one, two, three, four. She never thought that it was four strikes. No, it was a bit. She was doing bits. It was definitely a bit. Well, who could forget William Hung's famous Take Me Out? Take me out to the ball game. Take me out to the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks. What does he want? I think I know what he wants. What did you say, Bill? Get that at the ballpark. You can, actually. Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks. Listen, he's trying to buy peanuts and cracker jacks. The thing is, is that he, you know, he's...
He's Asian, and when he pronounced it, when he pronounced it, all right. Okay. Was he at a Giants game? Oh, no. EBW is furious. She's pacing. Eskimo Blue Waters is, she was supposed to be put on the air. 20 minutes ago. Yep. So when we come back, we'll let her in. She's got something new to tell us about. Got to tell you about Lady Gaga's got some show coming on HBO. Oh, boy. And it's like a documentary about her. And in it, we have a clip of her breaking down and crying and listen, something else. Riveting.
It's coming up now. Actually, there's... Is it riveting? It's pretty... It's a study in human nature. I love it. This is The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. The wait is over. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Forming on the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. Tickets are only $35 with no additional fees. $1 of every ticket sold will go to the About the Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Tickets are on sale now.
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This report is brought to you by the County of San Diego Vector Control Program. West Nile virus reported in San Diego. Protect yourself and your family from West Nile virus. Text PEST to 75309 or call 1-858-694-288 for more info. Heading into Escondido, 15 northbound before the 78. There is an accident over on the right shoulder. Also the 805 northbound before Home Avenue. Another two cars in the center divider. The 163 southbound before Genesee Avenue. multi-vehicle crash, four cars involved there. This report also brought to you by the San Diego International Airport Terminal 2 Parking, now located just west of the airport. Follow the signs along Harbor Drive. They'll lead you straight to the new lot with free shuttle service. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Lauren. I was the creep. Yeah. I was kissing boys when they were sleeping. How old? I was four. Woods. I like... being out in the country too, man. Throw a dip of snuff in, have a couple beers, kind of feel like a man, right? I want to fly to New York just to go to the Pop-Tart store. I can cry now at the drop of a hat. Something just sad. On FM 94.9. Steve Perry out there in his white vest. Smolleted up real good. Smolleted and wearing a pair of aqua blue skin-tight jeans. Yeah. Maybe they're leather. Maybe they're aqua leather pants. Long,
Straight black hair. Sexy. Stringy. Stringy. Ooh, sounds good. Stowing it up. Any eighth graders ever made out to this? Yeah. Why is it that eighth grade, it was as if love were unbearable? I mean, you couldn't take it. I know. It was going to kill you. It's so powerful. You were going to die. You're going to die. Nobody could quite understand what you felt. No. They thought they knew. Your mom, your dad, your brothers and sisters, they're like, listen. Even your friends. Your friends. You're going to get past this. I'm not going to. I'm going to lay on my bed and I'm going to listen to GNR patients over and over and over. And what you don't understand, mom, dad, brother, what you don't understand is that when I'm in my 40s or 50s, I will still be thinking about Marianne. Yeah. Wendy Gibbons.
Will still be getting me. She's the one, mom. You don't get it. You don't know. You don't understand. You and dad fight all the time. You don't know. You've never felt this. You and dad fight all the time. Trust me. Shut up. I don't want to hear it. What are you going to do with your kids? When all of our kids, my fake kids, will be upset about their relationship. What do you say, Mike? Jake comes home. A beautiful little blonde girl, because you know she'll be blonde, because he loves blondes. Guy rolls in, and he's in eighth grade, and he's like, that's it, I'm done. She broke my heart. What do you do? You don't want to be like, get over it, pal. We've all been there. You know, isn't it going to be different for Jake? I thought, will it be different for Jake? Because he's autistic? Yeah. No. No. I think you say to them. I think it will. All right, well, say it won't, or Luke. Let's think of Luke. No, it will happen with Jake. Maybe he'll just be a little bit older. Luke's girl will be a 27-year-old stripper. Yeah, when he's 15. Oh, gosh. Would you just tell them, I was 14 once. I know what you're going through. I won't say that. Yes. No way. You know why I won't say that? Why? Because my parents said that to me. It didn't work. My parents didn't say that to me. They didn't? No, they were like, chin up.
Go do your homework. My dad would tell me about how his heart was broken. It makes you feel better to know that it's happened to other people. My mom would be like, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I got that too. I got the fish in the sea. I got that for years. How could anybody ever say to their child, there's more fish in the sea? Because there are. But don't they realize, like, that's the last freaking thing in the world. All you want is this fish. No, I don't. I feel like I always said to my mom, you never got your heart broken. I don't think she really did. She married my dad when she was 18. So she doesn't know what she's talking about. But my dad was 10 years older. So he, you know, did get his heart broken. Sure. Yeah. Will you teach your sons, Mike, how to kind of be a D so that they don't get hurt? No. Absolutely not. Because. I'm going to. That's wrong. It's not wrong. Not to be a D, but to be like, listen. Thick skin. Girls like the aloof guy. I'm going to teach them how to be the aloof guy. Not the little P word that I was sometimes. Well, they shouldn't be a little P word, but they also shouldn't be. I'm going to teach them how to be the aloof D. Oh, my gosh. Don't do that. Yeah, it's a good move. No. Probably won't have to worry about it. Give me an example of what you're going to say. I'm going to tell them. I'm going to say, listen, man, you're in eighth grade.
Nice guys finish last when it comes to the ladies. I'm telling you. Not in eighth grade, they don't. Yeah, they do. Trust me. Are you going to tell them that when they come to you heartbroken, that's going to be your words of wisdom, your woods of wisdom? It will be my woods of wisdom. Listen, you can't be nice to these little brats. They're going to run all over you. They like it when you're kind of a little bit more of a bad boy. Just tell him to be himself. Not the sweetheart kid. It doesn't work. That's what I learned, eighth grade. I wouldn't tell them to be a sweetheart. Right, because they'll get killed. It's sad, but it's true. It's true. I know. I'm going to spare them some of that. I hate that it's true, but it is. It's true. Yeah, and I don't have a problem with aloof. I have a problem with, you've got to be a little D. Yeah, no. Not that. No. Doesn't it work? Every time. You've got to be aloof. Aloof is okay. And what I would tell him what I mean by Lufus, just don't bug him. Don't bug him. Don't even call him. Don't call him. In eighth grade, I remember when I was in eighth grade, and every guy would spend their time on the tee, and then they were out. It was one week, girls were like, he's so cute, he's so nice. And then one week, it was like, oh my gosh, and he doesn't even say hi. So it didn't matter. However you're going to be, girls just go.
And L.O.B., isn't it a deal with any 8th grade guy liking an 8th grade girl? It's kind of like flipping a coin. She's going to like you or she isn't. Yeah, and we usually, at least in my case, you moved in like packs of like who was the guy of the week or who was the guy of the month. And it was like everyone decided to crush on the same guy and then it was like, who's he going to choose? And that's the thing, man. If your kid gets a girl to like him. She's either going to like him or she isn't. And it isn't like when we're older. See, here's the deal with us older, with older guys. If we encounter a girl that doesn't appear to be in on us, we can do some work. Yeah. We can turn on the afterburners and we can do some work on it and we can get in there. Woods and I, I think, are both convinced that if given time, we can get the job done. Yes. Need some time, though. Need some time. Not playing with my full, at my playing weight, you know? I need some time. Well, see, I'm never playing at my playing weight, so I've had to adapt. What do you mean if you had some time, what? You could get anyone you wanted? No, no. Then what? Within reason. As we get older, I think, it's, yeah. Really? I'll tell you why. Because I'm a very charming person. Yeah. I'm very charming. Now, it's kind of like this. Now, Jake's autistic.
What he lacks in social skills, he makes up for in math and verbal skills, unlike me. Verbal skills. And so every woman that I've ever been with has always been way above my pay scale because I can be charming. Good game. And I can be funny and I can be very, very romantic and I can be genuinely romantic, not like fake romantic. And I can be really caring. I can be the stuff that I think that a lot of women really like. Now, what I can't be, I can't be six feet tall. And I can't be any more handsome than what I've got. And I'm moderately handsome. You know, when I don't have 48 extra pounds, 58 extra, something like 100 to 200 extra pounds. But if given the opportunity, you know.
I've been able to get you pretty sure of yourself. Well, we'd get an at bat, Ella B. I'm not saying we'd knock it out of the park, but we could probably get an at bat. One might say cocky. No, you could get into the game. Is it cocky? We could get into the game. It's not cocky. It's not. So they know what their strengths and weaknesses are and they know how to work accordingly. Listen, if I was single and I went out, your little brother, it was his birthday this weekend, asked me if I'd go out with him. I was busy. I couldn't go. If I went out with Brad, probably pulled. A girl? At 36 years old? I probably could. Woods, or L.O.B. Is that cocky? Is that cocky? That's cocky? Please. That guy could go out and probably have, and I believe this. I genuinely believe this. Now, I could be sitting across from somebody that I wouldn't believe this. But I believe, I know Woods. If the girl's single and she's in her 20s, meaning 20 or over. And she's single. I believe 95% of the time he can get the job done. It's really easy for you guys to say this because it's all hypothetical because it's never going to happen. It's true. I think it sounds more cocky if they were to be like, I can have anyone. Yeah, I know. I know better. I think they know that can't happen. There's levels of cocky. There is levels of cocky. Okay, but wait a minute. It's confidence. Hang on a second. Hang on. Wait a minute. Arrogant. You know me. I'm not being arrogant. L-O-B. You know me.
Delusional. Oh, wow. Hang on. You know me. You know me. I am very honest about what I am and what I'm... It's funny because he's fat. That was Jay. Just pretend like it didn't happen and continue. That's tough, though. I know. That one was... It was. You were trying to be serious. And it stung at a level. It's killing me. It's killing me. It was way below the belt. Way below the belt. Really? Seriously? Especially when my belt is so low to begin with. I think it's one thing to think it and another to say it. Hey, say what you feel. Hang on a minute. We'll hurt you. Can I? Fine. Maybe you're right. Yeah. But I will say this. Maybe it's the shared knowledge that guys all have. You guys would know. You do know, man. 99.9. Oh, sorry. 100%. Hit that button. That eject button. Why? On who? Boost me right out of here. Listen. Which one? You? Hang on a second. You know me? I'm very transparent about what I am and what I'm not. I know I don't stand a chance with someone like L.O.B. because L.O.B. will discount a guy for certain reasons. Okay? And there are women that will do that. Sure. But I know those women. Yep. I can find those.
Well, I do. I can tell. You know. I see some workout buff chick. I'm like, that's not going to work with me. I know. Okay, I'm not going to try that one. Right. And I'll start to talk to a girl, and she'll instantly give me the uh-huh, and I'll instantly go, uh-oh. It's not going to happen. I know. It's not going to happen. And there's no amount of charm or humor or anything that I can give her. That will ever let me have an end. She has a certain expectation. Right. Which is fair. Sure. She has a certain expectation. She has something that she likes. That she likes. And I do not meet said requirement. And it ain't me either. Now, okay, so I'm going to change what I said. But if I sense that I can get that she doesn't have restrictions on what I offer physically, I believe I can get the job done. I agree. Got a mouthpiece. A mouthpiece goes a long way. It does. But she has to not have certain things as a requirement. Eyesight. If she sees, I'm done. For both of us. If she can see, it's over. Right. Eyesight. If she's blind, you're sad. Yes. Hey, I'll put this out there. I can get any blind brought out there. Period. I can get a blind girl.
No, you can't. I think they both could. How dare you? As long as she doesn't feel my face. If she feels my face. Or my breasts. As long as she can't feel anything, I'll be fine. So she's handless? So I'm talking to her. She's like, oh my gosh, she's awesome. And then she goes, oh my gosh, I've got to call my boyfriend. I've got to call my boyfriend. So if she's handless and blind. I'm good to go. Good to go. Unless she uses her feet on me. And she's like, uh-oh. Oh, no. Uh-oh. They usually cost extra. You guys are golden. I think that they're right. I think that you guys know you're straight. Yeah, why stroke their egos? They don't need to be stroked. Honestly, they're doing pretty well. I don't feel that they're being cocky. I think that they're being the first to say that, you know. They know what they're working with, strengths and weaknesses. Jay, you've been pretty quiet. Listen to me. Hang on a second, L.O.B. It drives me crazy when Woods does his thing because Woods is good looking, but one thing that he's got, the guy is six what? One. Six one. I mean, it's hard to argue with six one and good looking. I mean, you know what I mean? I mean, are you cocky or are you just going,
Listen, the guy's 6'1". That's what I'm telling you. I'm going to teach my kid how to be that aloof guy, not the guy that's like... But it's not that that's what's attractive about Woods. I think it's his personality. Yes, it totally is. Looks and height is nothing compared to Woods' personality. Doesn't end the same. Well, of course it helps, yeah, but his personality is the winning point. Because L.O.B. would discount. Fairly. Fairly. Because L.O.B. is a taller girl. You're how tall? 5'8", almost. Okay. Rebecca's best friend, Lori. Lori is, I think she's 5'9". I think she's 5'9". I think she's an inch taller. Gorgeous girl. She's married now. Kelly's a sharp dude. Sharp, tall. How tall is Kelly? 6'2", 6'3". Tall, buff. Now here's the thing. She is the...
She is the most, and I'd say this about you, too. She's the most unshalow person. Unshallow. But she's like, what am I going to do? I don't have flats flat enough to go to a dance with this guy. Right. What are you going to do? Some women don't care if they're taller, though. Yeah, some don't. I mean, I think ideally they would all like to be taller. But, you know, when you meet a guy and his personality or his looks or whatever is drawing you to him, it doesn't matter how tall he is. I mean, it comes down to height. One out of 100. No. Yes. Less. Or more than that. More than that. Two. At least two out of 100. Two out of 100. I would say 35% of women would go with a guy that's shorter. Oh, that's a big number, kid. It is. What? I think 35%. Oh, no. Four. Four percent. I think 35. Maybe 15. I know a bunch. Yeah, 15. Maybe 2%. Two to three. Three and a half. Two to three percent. Oh, my gosh. Let her in here now.
I'm going to get killed. Yes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Eskimo. I apologize. This time, I apologize. It's my bad. It's my fault. Eskimo Blue Waters is a local. You guys finished tooting your own horn? Oh, boy. Damn it. Yep. I wasn't tooting my own horn. Who was tooting your horn then? We were tooting each other's horn. I was tooting his horn. And I was tooting his. He was tooting mine. Yeah. Listen. I want to speak on behalf of all the women out there and say neither one of you could get me. Fair enough. And I don't think that you should be generalizing women. Neither of us are Latino janitors either. Yes. So that would be a strike against us. Your boyfriend is a Latino janitor in this building. He's not my boyfriend. He's your... He's an interest. He's a lover. No, he's not. She's never... She shows it to him sometimes. She's never kissed him, but she's flashed him so that he'd get her into the building. Yeah. So what? Jay's giving me... We've got three minutes. That's what I've got here. That's the slot. Yep. Cool. We can go over a little bit. No, we can take a break and come back. No, I work here, and Garrett said that we've got to be really good with getting out on time. And listen, we can take a break, we can come back, we can visit with you. Okay, all right. Do you have something that you want to share? Yes, I do. It better be good. Okay, well, it is pretty good. Well, does it have to do with your singing? Nope. Are you a ventriloquist today? Nope. Yogurt maker? No. Ice cream maker? No, I already did that.
Rapper? No. Producer? No. Rock-per-a? No, not that. Not that. Should you guys want to just keep guessing or should I tell you? Carpentry? It has to do with entertainment. You're all kind of... Finnish carpentry. What's that? Carpentry. Carpentry from Finland. The opposite of start carpentry? Yes. It's the opposite of start carpentry. Right. What are you going to do? I'm doing this thing. You guys... Woods? Yes. Like the strip club? Jay? I don't. We don't really go. I don't really like strip clubs. Oh, yeah. I don't either. We've all been to them. I don't. Why do you have a shirt on that says strip club? Aficionado. Why do you have a magazine that says strip club aficionado in front of you? With a stripper smoking a cigar. Never even seen that until now. I don't like. stripping and I don't go to strip clubs. Nor do I. Anymore. I used to. Well, this will be a little bit of something for those that like the strip club and those that don't. Okay. So we'll find out what that is. What does that mean? I don't know. I'm fascinated. I'm titillated. Oh, you can't say that on the air, what? All right. Eskimo Blue Waters going to go into adult films? Is that the deal? No, that's not at all what I said. Okay. All right. You might like it if you like stripping or you might...
Like if you don't like stripping. All right, we'll find out next. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes are huge. On Saturday, May 14th, The Mikey Show and M1's takeover Qualcomm Stadium from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Operation Street Impact. A new Mikey Show sticker is in. And ready for your ride, it will receive surprise. We've got a his and her mountain bike from Haro. A brand new Ibanez guitar. A 42-inch LG plasma with 5.1 surround sound. And Blu-ray player. Plus, we're adding new prizes daily. Did we mention a brand new $24,000 FXDB Harley from San Diego Harley Davidson? 70 years ago.
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Well, the rate of immunizations among children in San Diego has climbed from 60% back in 91 to 86% in 2009. Really? The agency just released this statistic. Covers tetanus, pertussis, polio, measles, mumps, and rubella. So that's good news that more kids are getting vaccinated. The MMR. Yeah, the MMR shot. Also, what do you think of this? I thought it was so weird that the Obama's Easter egg rule at the White House, the annual big thing that they do. was the day after Easter. How? Hey, why the day after? I wouldn't want to celebrate a holiday the day after, but that's what it was. It was huge, you know, this huge deal, and 30,000 people from all over were there, and random people were there. Al Roker, Kelly Ripa were there. They did, like, this healthy cooking demonstration. And guess who performed? Who? Kanye. Oh, Willow Smith. Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's daughter. For the kids, maybe. She performed with my hair at the Easter egg roll at the White House. I wonder how they always do it on Monday so that the White House, whoever's in the White House can spend it with their family. That's nice. Do it before, though. Yeah, that's true. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? I have a couple of Mike Vick stories for you. It's always my favorite. There's a new app.
for cell phones available. It's called Dog Wars, where you can actually train, feed, fight your virtual dogs against other dogs. Sounds rad. And Michael Vick has actually come out against it and said, hey, listen, I've had to learn the hard way. Dog fighting is a dead-end street. Now I'm on the right side of this issue. I think it's important to send a smart message to kids and not glorify this form of animal cruelty even in an Android app for the first time. Your boy will tip his cap to Mr. Vic for making that statement because I think that is absolutely atrocious to have an app like that. Yeah, and I heard Michael Vic. He does two speaking engagements a month at schools. He has to, but he still does. He doesn't have to. He doesn't have to. No, he doesn't. He's a court reporter. No, he doesn't. Not anymore. He's off it now? Yeah. Good for him then. Also, this will be pretty interesting if it happens. So, you know, Madden Football on EA Sports. It's for PlayStation, Xbox, all that. They did an online contest. And it has come down to two finalists. Michael Vick for the new cover. Michael Vick and Peyton Hillis. Peyton Hillis, white running back for the Cleveland Browns. Michael Vick, black quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles. And the winner will be announced tomorrow. And he beat, you know, everybody in his bracket. They did it like a tournament. Beat or lost, really.
If people want him to be cursed. Well, yeah, that's the other thing is the Madden curse. They always say you'll end up getting hurt. But I think even he is a little surprised that he is a finalist and has come out and said, hey, if I make the cover, I'm pretty stoked. Unless he's the most hated. We'll know tomorrow, I believe. Eskimo Blue Waters is in the studio to tell us about some new thing that she's got going on. You know, she's an entertainer. For those of you that don't know, her real name is Judy Douche. She's 32 years old and she's from Lola. None of that is actually true. None of that is true. What part of it is not true? My birth given name, the way I was born, was Judy Duchesne. Do you have a birth certificate or do you have a certificate of live birth? Probably both. I really don't know. Your last name is spelled D-O-U-C-H-E. I can't help it. I was born that way, but it's pronounced Duchesne. Got it. I've dropped that now. Much like Gaga. And I wanted to go by just Eskimo, but I thought, you know, just add a little bit more. So it's Eskimo Blue Waters. A lot of people call you EBW. Yes, that's correct. And I'm not 32. I'm in my 20s. Yeah, you've been trying to get into show business now for... Oh, I'm in it.
She says... I had a gig at the Belly Up. I don't know if you knew that. She did have a real gig. She did have a gig at the Belly Up. She won online poll. That's true. But Michael Vick was the witness. Mikey Show listeners voted her in there. Fans. Fans. I was just saying where they knew me from. Right. Okay. Numerous gigs around town they could have found me at or my website. Eskimo. EskimoBlueWaters.com. Isn't it true? And that's a real website, by the way. What is that? It's Twitter.com slash official. E-B-W. So that people don't steal your persona. It's official. Someone already had, so I had to create the official one. Still waiting for it to get verified. Yeah, it's going to be a while. Long while, but Eskimo had been trying to get into show business for like 15 years. He's been trying to get into show business. Hasn't happened. It's kind of happened. Kind of on the fringe. Play it at the belly app. I'm on the Mikey show. You're not on the Mikey show. You're not on the Mikey show. We're not on the Mikey show. Am I not? No. Well, what are we on here? You are currently on the DSNC or something. Oh, wow. It is not the DSNC. No, it isn't. Well, what would you call this place? I would call this FM 94.9, but you don't work for us. What show is this? Mikey show. And I'm on it. Fair enough. Fair enough. What are you doing now?
Um, this is what we call in the business, uh, theater of the mind. How's that? It's called stripless stripping. Is that what this CD is for? Yeah. Can you, well, it's a tape. It's a cassette tape. Yeah. Look at the boombox. Stripless. Oh, yeah. She's not, she's swinging around a feather bow and it's hitting the microphone. What would you think if maybe I acted like I was going to take this off? So you're not taking anything off. All right, so I'll be your guy here. So here's my glove, Woods. Okay. I'm not going to take this off, but wouldn't it be hot if I did? Sure. Woods. Yeah. Now let's pretend I was going to sit in your lap. Okay, I'm here. And then I would give you a lap dance. Okay, I'm ready. But I'm not going to. Isn't that sexy? So I just paid you $20 for this lap dance. See these fishnet stackings? Yeah, they have a run in them. Disgusting. But they're under your jeans, too. That's the other thing. She pulled her jeans leg up. She pulled her jeans leg up. She still has on dark glasses and a hat. So here's the thing. Look at this fishnet stacking. Under your jeans. I'm not taking that off. You're not taking that off. That's right. But wouldn't it be hot if I did? I'm not sure if it would. You're a J. You like Catherine Hepburn.
Now see this feather, Boa. Yeah. You're hitting the mic with it. I hit myself in the head with it. I'm keeping this tight around my neck. What if I took it off? I bet you like that. I don't understand. I'm not going to take it off. Wait. She's fully clothed with a jacket on? Glasses? Yeah, I don't understand. I'm not taking that off, but I bet you'd like it if I did. Of course I would. Yeah. So you're a stripless stripper. Yeah, that's right. I'm exploiting all the perverts out there, and I'm going to make money off of it. But in order to make money off of it, they have to see you. You've got to show something. No, no, no, no. They'll just be like, oh, I just need her to do it, and I won't do it, and they'll think maybe next time she will. I would call you a tease. That's right. But I'm not going to take it off, but I'll show you what if I did. That's ridiculous. And so all the perverts out there that think they can exploit strippers, I'm going to exploit you. What? Me? Yeah. I want my $20 back. You didn't give me $20. What if I did? Well, what if I? See this $20? Yeah. What if I gave this to you, but I'm not going to? Oh. Well, that's not really fun. Well, thank you, EBW. What do you think?
You think Cheetahs would have like a segment like that? No. Maybe at Tuesday at 9 a.m. I should give it a try. Yeah. Stripless stripping. You go for kegs and eggs and stripless stripping. Yeah. On Tuesday shift. There you go. I'm friends with a lot of rock stars. We can all just wear our leather jackets. Can I stop the cassette player? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was rough. Want your tape back? Yeah, if I could. I guess. Thank you. Thanks a lot. Think about it. There you go. Thank you. Mike. You should try CDs. What? Why do you... Never mind. I wonder, though, Mike, if you...
with your beliefs to get away with going to a stripless strip club. Well, it's pointless. It's kind of pointless. It's theater of the mind. Well, not only that, she's beating the customers up with her words. She's like, wouldn't you like this, you pervert? Too bad you can't have it. Too bad you're not going to get it. Bet you want to see this, you sicko. Those type of people would want to see it. So I'd be like, oh, yeah, you want to, you pig. You just sit there like a pig. Look at you, you filthy maggot. There's people out there that like that. Maybe that's where people that need to get over their love for strip clubs should go to see you to snap them out of you. Yeah, and I'll tell them, oh, you dirty little pig. And I'll wag my finger in their face and then maybe I'll slap them with a boa. That's the thing, though. I don't think they want to be called names. I don't think that they want you to call them things that are bad. Oh, you little sex offender, you. They don't want that. That's the opposite. Right. It'd be weird. You go there to put something in your mind that you can see with your own eyes. You're a creep, Woods. Yeah. Fair enough. Hey, look at you. You're a creep. Look at your little creep. Fair enough. I think it could work. Thanks. Thanks. Well, thanks for the opportunity. You better get back to work. No problem. There she is. There she goes. We'll get those 8 o'clock albums done. Eskimo Blue Waters. Done.
You don't do that. Yeah, I do. You don't work here, Eskimo. I was ahead of the game. I got the email last night and took it about myself. To finish him up. Well, there she was. Eskimo blew water. That's right. I got to get back to work. Thank you, Eskimo. Incredible. Worst idea of hers. Yep. I should maintain that she's got some sort of relationship with Garrett. Yeah, I know. Garrett doesn't even know her. Last time when Garrett filled in and she was in, he said, who is this? Garrett. Our program director. Garrett. Garrett. Lady Gaga. Oh, Stephanie. Lady Gaga, I guess, has a HBO special coming out. And it is like a documentary. It's like a documentary. In this documentary, they show her in daily life. Not everything. It's not completely transparent in nature. She's such a copier of Madonna. Yeah. But we have to admit, she may be a copier of Madonna, but she is extraordinarily popular. This one's called Dare or Truth. Yeah, right. Dare or Truth. Either one.
She's a real live EBW. I know. But she's successful. All right. True or false? You ready? Yes. True or false? Lady Gaga is a star. True. True. Lady Gaga is a superstar. True. Lady Gaga is very, very popular. True. Lady Gaga is Mexican. False. Lady Gaga is crazy. True. Okay, so you guys do believe that she's crazy. I don't. You do not believe that she's crazy. Nope. It's a bit. Yeah, she's not clinically crazy. She's crazy smart. Yeah. Yeah, she knows what will draw an audience, that's for sure. Everything's for show. Very creative. Well, this is... Now, I'm going to have a very different take, and I understand I'm going to have a very different take. Mikey! This is your consultant, Randy Lane. Randy! Whatever you do, don't talk about liking religion. It turns people off, Mikey. And if you do it, people will hate you. I'm sorry, Randy, but there may be something in what you're about to hear where my faith comes out a little bit. It's a part of my life. I'm sorry. Don't do it, Mikey. Thousands and thousands of radios throughout the county will go off.
But I've always done it, Randy. I've always talked about my faith. I know, but that's why you've got that quirky little podcast that you do on iTunes. So here she is lamenting life. I just sometimes feel like a loser still, you know. It's crazy because it's like we're at the garden, but I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school. And I just got to pick my up. I got to pick myself up. And I have to tell myself I'm a superstar every morning so that I can get through this day. She has to tell herself that she's a superstar every morning to get through the day. Now, that's a problem. If you've got to tell yourself that you're a superstar to get through the day, you shouldn't have to tell yourself you're a superstar to get through the day. Start with telling yourself you're a good person. Yeah, well, sure. Okay, okay, fine. Start with telling yourself that you're a good person.
But she's got to tell herself that she's a superstar every day. Now, here's the problem. What about when you're not a superstar anymore? Then what happens? So then what gets you through the day? Be for my fans what they need for me to be. But sometimes I still feel like people are trying to destroy me. I need to be for my fans what they need for me to be. Well, what they need for you to be is shocking. And the reason that they need you to be shocking is because that's what you've given them. So now you've got to up the ante. First it was meat hats, then it was blood, then it was, you know. Peering and eggs. Peering and eggs. And so you've got to always keep doing that. And what they need for me to be. But sometimes I still feel like people are trying to destroy me. What are you going to teach them tonight? Sometimes she feels like people are trying to destroy her. That I cannot be destroyed.
Well, it sounds like you believe that. It sounds like you're very self-confident. The woman said in the background, what did she say? What are you going to show? That I cannot be destroyed. Sounds like she believes it. Sounds like she's doing the whole, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough. People like me. Well, think about it, I'm sure. A lot of people are always attacking her. Facebook, Twitter, everything else. Now, is that... I wonder if it's because she does things to invite it. Oh, but who doesn't? Some people don't. Some people don't. Well, you reach that level of stardom. You can't help but get a little kooky. You know, it's not a normal thing. But that's how she got stardom. She started kooky. By being kooky. But I'm saying the acts that she was doing were kooky. And now it's gotten like, like Britney Spears. Like, I think that she can't, maybe now she's getting a little more normal, but she can't live without the paparazzi attacking her. Yeah, you miss it after a while.
Like, any publicity is good publicity kind of thing. You need constant attention, whether or not people are criticizing you or whether or not they're, like, praising you. Oh, I bet they are criticizing her. I bet she gets a lot of hatred. Sure. That's what you do every night. I cannot be destroyed, and I will not be destroyed, and you will never destroy the kingdom that is my fans. I just want to be a queen for them, you know? Sometimes I don't feel like one. I don't know why she's crying. Now, listen to this. This is interesting. Now, I heard an interview one time with Gaga where they asked her, so what inspires you? And she said, sadomasochism, serial killers. It was creepy. It was creepy. So shocking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I read an interview where she said her creativity escapes from as well. Her what? Her creativity escapes from her.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard that too. Now, just because somebody does something and it doesn't mean, and they say it's a bit, doesn't mean that it isn't real. For instance, Marilyn Manson does a lot of stuff that has to do with the creepy dark stuff. Slayer does stuff that has to do with the creepy dark stuff. You know, a lot of bands do stuff like Maynard and a lot of his music talks about some real creepy dark stuff, specifically religion, specifically Jesus. And they do this stuff. And then now some people like my brother, he says it's a bit. I say that, too, for the most part. My brother says it's a bit. See, the problem with that, though, is that just because they say that it's a bit doesn't make it any less real. For instance, I can go into my house.
And I can say, I don't really know much about electricity and I don't really care. But I put on this big show with electricity in my house. I don't really, it's just for show. But I can still get shocked by it. If I'm on stage and I got pyro firing off and I go, look, it's an act. Doesn't mean I can't get burned by it. It's also real. You know, it's an act, but I can get burned by it. Now, this is interesting. I noticed that a lot of the bands, they will incorporate. Religion. A lot of the heavy bands and even her. Her new song is called Judas where she talks about being in love with Judas and then references Jesus. Judas was the person that betrayed Jesus and she's talking about how much she loves him and blah, blah, blah. And the singles got a cross on the cover of it and everything. This is interesting. She prays before she goes out on stage. Dear Lord, thank you so much for the blessings.
All my friends and my family. And thank you for all the amazing Screaming fans that are here tonight. Now, do you... So, do you think that that... I don't know. I'm asking. This is not rhetorical. I'm genuinely asking you guys. Do you think that's for real? Or do you think she's making that up? Or do you think... No, she's probably, you know, in her own little strange world, she's praying. I think she is praying. Yeah, I do too. I do too. She came out and said she was like an atheist and... Or maybe not atheist, maybe agnostic. So why pray to the Lord? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, you hear that a lot from people that have some of these takes. They have these takes that, well, I'm not Christian per se, but I'm spiritual. You know, that I think has always been her bit, is that she's spiritual. I thought that she said she was agnostic. But obviously, if you pray to the Lord, you're not. That's what I'm saying. I wonder if the thing that she said earlier is contradictive to what she actually does and believes. Or is that contradictive? Praying to the Lord to what she actually believes. And she knows stuff. Unless she doesn't write her music. She knows stuff. Right. Dear Lord, please give me strength to be a winner for all of them and not for myself. Dear Lord, remind me to empower.
Not myself, but to empower those around me. That's not true. Why are you asking him and saying that? That isn't true. Don't empower you. You said that when you wake up every morning, you got to tell yourself that you're a superstar just to make it through the day. Yeah. So what are you saying? It's not about me. It's not about me. That is my gift. It's weird. My gift is not self-worship. It isn't? I thought you said. That when you wake up in the morning, you got to tell yourself that you're a superstar to get through the day. This gift is the worship of others. So please help me to be strong and please help me to know my own strength. Please help me to be brave, Lord. Dear God, give me courage. Do not let me give in to those feelings. Do not let me give in to my own insecurities. Allow me to walk in your light. Allow me to live and breathe and sing and dance for all the dancers on that stage, for the band. For the music and for you. And for you. Let me get this straight. Wow. So you got a song right now that's about how you are in love with the guy that betrayed this guy and you're asking the guy that he betrayed to bless you? Right. And then you're saying that all of your music and all the stuff is for him? How can that be? Yet you also just said that.
you're asking him to give you the ability to sing and dance for others, not for you. I think it just proves her shock value. Now I've got some **** to do. And scene. Go into some real detail on that on my podcast. And you can find that on iTunes where I don't hold back. And all you have to do is search VOM. It's a podcast. and you see my mug, and it says VOM, and it's about a Christian podcast. I don't hold back, though. When we come back, you want to hear a viral video of a dude singing nursery rhymes to the tune of Snow Patrol's song, Run? Me too. We'll do it next.
Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Now hang me up to track. The Silent Comedy, Crocodiles, Surfer Blood, The Soft Pack, Heavy Hawaii. Tickets are only $35 with no additional fees. $1 of every ticket sold will go to the About the Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at independencejam.com or at fm949sd.com. Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, presented by Miller Lite, Sunday, June 5th.
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Listen, Mother's Day is close. Closer than you think. And you got to do something. Now, if you're anything like me, I'm 40 years old. I got years and years of giving my mom something every year. You got to come up with something new. Pro Flower is just the thing because it's delivered to her door. It's something new. You've never done it before. Even if you have, it's a great gift. This week only. 100 blooms for mom. Plus a free glass vase. It's only $19.99. How do you do it? Simple. Proflowers.com. Click on the microphone in the top right-hand corner and type in Mikey Show. M-I-K-E-Y-S-H-O-W. Type in Mikey Show. Now, this is going to go on until midnight on Friday. Then, so get in on it while you can. 800-PRO-FLOWERS or, and just mention Mikey Show, or you can get the deal.
by going to proflowers.com, click on the microphone, type in Mikey Show. They say that the sense of smell is the most evocative of all the senses, which means lingering somewhere in your brain's memory center is a smell that always makes you happy. And there's a very good chance that smell is attached to some sort of food. Maybe it's your grandmother's rhubarb cobbler or your dad's special omelet or the grilled cheese and tomato sandwich your sister made on your parents' bowling night. So Kaiser Permanente suggests, why not cook it for yourself? Fill your kitchen with a smell that you remember. Bake that cobbler in Nana's memory. Invite your sister over for a grilled cheese. Dig out your family's favorite recipes. While cooking can be therapeutic, cooking with a meaningful recipe is a moving experience. It's a visit with old friends, long-gone relatives, a way to sit down at a table with your past. And it smells so good. Kaiser Permanente invites you to cook something you remember and thrive. Visit kp.org slash thrive and click on cooking and eating. I'm your overly optimistic husband who assured you we had enough gas to make it home. Apparently, the power of positive thinking is far less valuable than the power of gasoline. Hope you have Good Hands Roadside Assistance. Introducing Good Hands Roadside from Allstate, a different kind of roadside assistance. You'll never pay a dime unless you use it, and it's open to everyone.
not just Allstate customers. Go to allstate.com slash roadside to register and get important information. Cue a grill. Cue the over-enthusiastic chef with the lighter fluid. Cue the steaks, breasts, thighs. Cue the amigos bearing generous libations. Cue the fumbled bottle of Jose Cuervo. Cue the crowd's gasp. Cue the slow-motion dive. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. In coastal Mexico, the three most popular sounds are the surf coming in, music flowing out, and the mouth-watering sizzle of shrimp on the grill. Right now at Rubio's, the grill is fired up and the shrimp are on. And as soon as they reach your taste buds, the Baja Beach scene is sure to come to mind. Rubio's Grilled Mesquite Shrimp Burrito features grilled shrimp. Seasoned to perfection with garlic and mesquite spices, then complemented by creamy chipotle sauce. It's the shrimp burrito with a huge flavor. Catch it now, only at Rubio's. And the winner way off is... Pumpkin! Amazing! Oh, I thank you. What's your secret? Frank's Red Hot. I put that s*** on everything.
Frank's Red Hot Sauce goes on anything. Its aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to jambalaya, ribs, collard greens, steaks, fries, sausage, onion rings, crab legs, chicken, chili, and even prized pumpkins. Frank's Red Hot Sauce. I put that s*** on everything. We've all seen it. The sedan dressed up like an SUV. How delusional. An SUV should be built to be an SUV. Thank goodness for the all-new Dodge Durango. with its available fully automatic all-wheel drive and best-in-class towing. Who's that sedan going to fool anyway? That's like a sheep in wolf's clothing. It's totally backwards. And the wolf is probably going to be a little upset the sheep is wearing its clothes. Introducing the all-new 2011 Dodge Durango SUV. We are Dodge, and we are never neutral. Lease the all-new 2011 Dodge Durango Express rear-wheel drive for only $3.16 a month for 36 months with $24.99 due at lease signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax that own license extra. Best-in-class towing when properly equipped. Call 1-888-4-Dodge for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Must take retail delivery by 5 to 11. Residency restrictions apply. With the new Turtle Reef attraction and Shamusha opening this summer, there's never been a better time to get a SeaWorld fun car. Pay for a day, play all year.
The Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not into it. See, here's the thing too. Guy stuff, love guy stuff. I just, it's like cars. I love cars. Lauren. I can be sweet when I want to be, but oh, I'm so cut too. Oh boy. Like a knife. Woods. Every day now I'm questioning why I have five dogs. I spent my afternoon cleaning up trash and poop. Sienna. I'm not a farter, but I live with farters. It definitely makes me laugh. And Jay. What is the coolest thing I've ever made? We don't have that kind of time. On FM 94.9. Somebody just asked me on my Facebook page how I would define hate. That's an interesting question. It's really deep. Yeah. So I looked up the word hate and it said an intense dislike for something. And I'm like, I guess I could say that about cucumbers. Do I really hate them? What'd they do to you, dude? Yeah. They used to pick onion in school? No. They didn't. Soak them in a little vinegar. You may not have them anymore. I like them then. Put them in an enchilada. Okay. She's got a great point. If I turn them into a pickle, I'm fine with them. Yeah. So if they change, I guess I'm okay with them.
What about cantaloupe? There's pretty much nothing you can do. You can't do anything about a cantaloupe. You just hate cantaloupe. Cantaloupe is a cantaloupe. I hate it. I'm not going to like it. Delicious. You can't do anything with a cantaloupe. I've never had anybody do anything with a cantaloupe that didn't make it smell rotten. They always smell rotten to me. Delish. The worst texture, too. Yes. Slimy. They're the best. They're the best. Slimy, and they smell spoiled. My favorite part of the fruit bowl. Oh, yeah. A beast on cantaloupe. I'll eat a whole one. That's what they give you the most at, like, restaurants, and they give you a fruit salad. And I'm like, great. I have one grape and a piece of pineapple. And this is honeydew and cantaloupe. Delicious. It's got such a sour, bitter... No, it's sweet and juicy. It's not sweet. It's sweet. They're sweet. I think it's like... It's the opposite of sweet. It's sweet in the worst, grossest way. I spit on that a little bit. Oh, boy. Well... Was there dip in that spit? No, there was not. Okay, good. Can you imagine having to ask your co-worker if there was dip in that spit? Yeah. I'm sure baseball players do it all the time. I bet you guys never thought you'd be asking about dip and spit at 8 o'clock in the morning, huh? Yeah. What's the spit? M1 Surf Daddy from Trestles, are you there? Yes, sir. What was the word of the day? Cucumber. Yeah. Well done. Sounds just like you. Well done, my friend.
You get to get a pay-per-view for UFC 129 on Saturday. You also get to see Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. August 2nd at Cricket. Right on, guys. You got it. Hang on the line, dude. Love you. OSI, Operation Street Impact is going on May 14th. And it's a Saturday. We got the new sticker in. I keep holding it all morning. Me too. I love it. I love the new sticker. You can see a picture of the new sticker if you go to... Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. Took a picture of the actual sticker. We have it up on our door in here. It looks awesome. Mm-hmm. Oh, man. I love this sticker. Mm-hmm. I really do. It's pretty awesome. So, May 14th, we're putting them on your cars. It looks 3D. Yeah. It does. It's three-dimensional to the layperson. Jay said that the lady that makes the stickers told you what? That she sees a lot of stickers come through, and she hasn't seen one this cool in a couple years. Nice. Love that. All right, so this is a viral video. It's from the TV show Britain's Got Talent. It's of a guy singing nursery rhymes to the tune of Snow Patrol's song, Run.
That's good. I really liked it. Dang. He ruined a very special song for me. That is a great song. He ruined it. I wanted to like, I was like, okay, I know the words that are coming up, but I couldn't. Put them together. That's hard to do because you know the words to one song and then the others. Different tunes. That was fun. That was great. Woodsy has new releases that are out today. I do, my friend. The Airborne Toxic Events new album, All At Once, is out today. Never heard of them, but I like them. If you haven't, they had a really good single out a couple years ago. I like them. I like Modest Mouth a little bit. A little bit, yeah. It does. Country Angel, Emmylou Harris, Hard Bargain, is out today.
Oh, wow. How old is Emmy Lou? I don't know. She's got to be up there. 90s? No. Hundreds. She's in the hundreds. She's in the hundreds. She's in her hundreds. Let's put it this way. I went to grammar school with Jay. Sweet child. Back when they still called it grammar school. That's right. Grammar school. The new Of Montreal record is out. The Controller Sphere. Oh, is it jammed? Oh, it's jammed. No, not working. It's too bad. Shake it up a little bit. Here, let me fix that for you. Yeah, that is... Driving music. This guy is an absolute legend where I come from. His name is Steve Earle. I'll never get out of this world alive. Yep, just hanging out, man. Could be. I like it when he sings, but the music part was... No, I didn't like the music part. You ever heard of that guy? Yeah. Oh, man. I read his book called Hardcore Troubadour.
Makes Keith Richards look like a seven-year-old. Really? He was the most hardcore guy you've ever, ever read about. Steve Earle. It's unbelievable. The guy's out there. And then out on DVD today, some stuff I never heard of. Weird. Blowout. Sacrifice that has Christian Slater in it. And D-Mob. That's the movies out on video. Those are out on video. There's also one that looks okay called Jolene. But Feast. I don't know. What do you want from me? What do you want from me? I guess, you know. What do you want from me? Just enthusiasm about it, I guess. The place to start. Sorry. Blowout with Kristen Slater's out today. Woo! Feast on that. Don't be upset, man. What do you want from me? Homework, I guess. What do you mean? I'm just kidding. It's nothing. I don't know these movies. He offered to take over that job. Fair enough. Last week, the Kings...
speech came out. I didn't see it yet. You're stuttering because in the movie he stutters. It's not very nice. It's supposed to be so good. It's supposed to be brilliant. So good. So, so good. This is so good. One of those things is no matter how many times someone tells me it's good, I'm not going to go see it. You're probably right, LLB. I don't have two hours to watch the King's speech. Wrap it up. Let's wrap it up in like two minutes, really. Gosh darn, I dug the Cliff Notes version. Guy stuttered. Guy came over, worked with him a little bit, didn't stutter anymore. And that's it. Here, here, here, you're done. So one day of sunshine, huh? Is that the way it's going to be? That's moderately sunny. Sunny to me. Moderately. You don't want a cloud in the sky, Mike. No, I want yesterday. Yeah. Every day. It was gorgeous yesterday. It was gorgeous. Perfect. It didn't look like this when we left yesterday, though. Got nicer. I hope it does. If not, so in the Chamber of Commerce. Where hustle's the name of the nice guys get washed away like the snow. Mikey Show on FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes are huge. On Saturday, May 14th, the Mikey Show and M1's Takeover Qualcomm Stadium from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Operation Street Impact.
The new Mikey Show sticker is in and ready for your ride. It receives a prize. We've got a his and her mountain bike from Haro, a brand new Ibanez guitar, a 42-inch LG plasma with 5.1 surround sound, and Blu-ray player. Plus, we're adding new prizes daily. And did we mention a brand new $24,000 FXDB Harley from San Diego Harley Davidson? It's often said that actions speak louder than words. And what better example than car and drivers take on the BMW 3 Series? They not only named it to their 10 best list again this year, but they did so for an unprecedented 20 years in a row. Is it because it's faster and more powerful than the Audi A4, Lexus IS 250, or the Mercedes C300? Or because BMW includes no-cost maintenance, saving you thousands over other brands? Or because it delivers a joy?
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raise money for research, treatment, and education. To sign up for Walk for Hope, visit walkforhope.org. To learn how Ovation Cell Therapy can work for you, log on to OvationHair.com and watch the testimonials or visit the Ovation booth at Walk for Hope, Saturday, May 21st. We'll be there to answer your questions. OvationHair.com and remember to enter FM 94.9 for your special introductory discount. Ovation can work for you too. Hi, I'm Mike and I'm a CEO. A chief everything officer? My job duties include everything from business development to ordering paperclips. And with my schedule, I can't wait around for my mail and packages to be delivered. So how do I handle it all? Logistics. I'm Shawna from the UPS Store, and our mailbox services are designed for people like Mike. We'll keep your mail safe and confidential, even sign for packages. And if you like, send an email or text alert when they arrive. While I'm taking care of my clients, the UPS Store is taking care of my mail. Chief Everything Officers love logistics. With mailbox services at the UPS Store, your business gets a real street address, and we can notify you when a package arrives. To find a location near you, visit the upsstore.com. Services, prices, and hours vary by location. See center for details. The UPS Store is offering three months free mailbox service with an annual agreement and a real street address at participating locations. New box holders only, notary also available. Visit the upsstore.com backslash logistics today.
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For a limited time, choose from 0.9% financing or a $1,500 payment credit on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your local BMW center today or go to SoCalBMW.com slash CPO for details. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Fried chicken may be my favorite food item. Lauren. You know what? I'm just going to eat bad today. Let's get Burger King. Woods. It's the only thing I'm good about is washing my dishes, putting them in the dishwasher. Now, I don't know how to run our dishwasher. I've never. Never once turned it on. Sienna. I feel great because I love to go on walks and I hate to run. And Jay. I like mayonnaise and crackers. On FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Minutemen. Gary. On what? Three-way time for last. Forbes Magazine, Sienna. And the worst list of the worst cars? Sienna's list of the worst cars. This is her opinion. When did you become an editor? Why do you hate these cars? Because they're awful cars. They said that to determine their list, they started with the lowest rated vehicles from six conducted from Consumer Reports. You started with the six.
Now they're looking at quality, efficiency, reliability, safety, and overall value. And here are the cars. The worst. The worst cars. Sienna's list of the worst cars. Forbes' list. I didn't realize you were so into cars. I didn't either. I do reviews of all of them. What are you, a mechanic? In your spare time? Yes, I am, actually. She did take auto body. That's true. I took auto shop for three years in high school. So the worst cars on the road. Cadillac Escalade. Consumer reports say it's the worst value, highest cost of ownership, and worst safety performance. The Chevy Tahoe Hybrid is one of the cars. Worst value, worst safety performance, least reliable. Both American cars so far. Yes. The Dodge Nitro SLT. American cars. Easy over there. Worst value, worst cars, least reliable. Japanese cars do. They don't break. First fuel economy, it says. The Jeep Wrangler Unlimited. American car. Aren't they recalling like a million Nissans? Fine, pal. All I know is that those American cars, man. Why do you hate America? Why do you like cars made in Guam? How many were you at?
This is the last one. Mercedes-Benz S550. There you go. Worst value, highest cost of ownership, worst fuel economy. I was born in the USA, pal, all right? And that was number what? It's actually five, yeah, they gave me. Kid Buys America. The Cadillac, the Chevy Tahoe Hybrid, the Dodge Nitro SLT, the Jeep Wrangler Unlimited, and Mercedes-Benz S550. Okay, now, did they rank them in order? In other words, the worst car you can get is the Mercedes? No, it's just a list of the worst cars in the road. Yeah. That's a pretty car, too, that is. Oh, yeah. But apparently it's junk. My last American car was a POS. Yeah, man. Sorry. Yeah, they're terrible. Mine, too. Not mine. Been running like a top. Japanese car. Chevy Suburban. Too bad I didn't run like a car. Now, honestly, you haven't had any issues with that sucker? Better not come with my friend. Why was your latest car then an import? Which one? The one that you bought. I bought that for my wife. No. I don't drive it. I drive American. I'm American. No, I think you're right. As long as I've known you. I've got like 150 on that thing. And it's not giving you problems. I mean, it's crappy on the inside, but that's my fault. Yeah, yeah. No mechanical stuff. No, not yet. Knock on wood. Yeah. I had the same car, but four transmissions in it. Oh, good Lord. Boy, oh boy. Just call me Bruce Springsteen, dude, all right?
Jay, after the second transmission you put in it? I know. The first one was on me. The second one was on them. Half the third one was on them. And then the fourth one, I got a deal on. Mackie, I built my old transmission. Yeah, I built it. Built it out of almond husks. Almond husks and coconuts. Bamboo. Bamboo. Part of the reason it didn't work, damn Panda got into my yard and ate half my transmission. Yeah, it didn't happen. Hillary, how are you? I'm good. I drive a German car right now. Oh, great. But my maiden name is Schmidt. My people are from Germany. You're German. Let me tell you. Is that right? They make two things very good. Submarines and the automobile. The automobile. Bavarian Motor Works. Yeah. We're a Volkswagen family, though. My mom bought a Bug in Germany in the 60s and had it shipped over and drove it for 30 years. Wow. Yeah, we've had... Banigans, buses, Jettas, bugs. You can run them into the ground. Yeah. Oh, I love them. You can run them into the ground. I did think that if I ever do buy a new car, it might be a German car because they're made to be reamed out. Just don't get a Jetta. Those are for girls. I knew a dude that drove a Jetta. I was going to get a Goff. A VW Goff. Yeah, VW Goff's good.
A little cabriolet. It's a girl cars. My girlfriend had one in college. I drove it a lot and felt like a big queen. Yes, and I would take the top down. It's awful. Picture a guy driving a new convertible Beetle. You're like... I love it. Sorry to the one guy out there that is. Hey, listen. If you're a dude right now just rocking out, you got the top down on that convertible Beetle. You got bigger balls than I do, pal. Flower in the vase. Happy face on your license plate. Then I'm sorry. We apologize. There are certain cars, though, that can really only be driven by, well, mostly. Only be driven by a gal. That's one of them. My girlfriend, Kelly, who lives in Cardiff now, her mom, when we were in elementary school, got a brand new bright golden yellow Cabriolet. And we thought it was the coolest. Her mom used to drive us everywhere, a convertible. We thought it was so awesome. It was. It was. It was the coolest. If her dad had it, maybe not as cool. Maybe not. Yeah, the convertible white.
Volkswagen, I think, Golf. Cabriolet. Cabriolet. Was that it? That was the one. Yeah. Yeah. It's a deal, man. Pretty cute. What do you got coming up next, Hillary? I grabbed the new Strokes. I grabbed some Pearl Jam, Bad Religion, Kings of Leon, some Radiohead, and My Morning Jacket just released a new song yesterday called Holding On to Black Metal. There you go. So awesome. I'm going to play that. Hello, Bree. Before 11. There you go. Yeah. Say what up, black people. Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next, and we'll see you tomorrow at 6. The Mikey Show's out late. Financial medias in the morning. About the music all day and night. It's about the music.