The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 04/27/11
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
pelicansultimate m1 contestnfl draftplaystation breachlindsay lohanthe voicetattoo storyaffleck duckroyal weddinggas price gamebuzzwordstroller dad debate
The show featured Mikey, Woods, Lauren O'Brien, Sienna, and Jay discussing topics ranging from the Ultimate M1 fan contest to the NFL draft, with Woods arguing the Chargers need J.J. Watt at pick 18. They also covered the PlayStation data breach, Lindsay Lohan's Leno appearance, and explained the blind audition format of NBC's The Voice. Later, Jay shared a graphic tattoo story from the deep south, while Mikey announced the new Aflac Duck voice imitating Gilbert Gottfried, and the crew speculated about Kate Middleton's future as queen. Throughout, callers participated in games like the gas price guessing contest and the buzzword challenge.
What happened, in order
Stroller Dad Debate
Mikey and the crew debate whether it's weird for a dad to push a baby stroller, sharing personal anecdotes about parenting roles.
Ultimate M1 Contest
Mikey explains the Ultimate M1 fan contest where listeners dress as show members, post photos, and can win Padres beach seats for themselves and nine friends.
Pelican Invasion
The hosts discuss the sudden surge of brown pelicans in San Diego, their appearance, and joke about eating them as kebabs.
Chargers Draft Needs
Woods analyzes the San Diego Chargers' draft needs, highlighting the defensive line and advocating for selecting J.J. Watt at pick 18.
PlayStation Hack
Mikey details the massive Sony PlayStation data breach affecting 77 million accounts, calling it a "nerd on nerd crime."
Lindsay Lohan on Leno
The show plays audio of Lindsay Lohan's appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, discussing her recent DUI and court troubles.
The Voice Format
Mikey and crew describe NBC's The Voice, explaining how coaches pick singers blindly and the emotional dynamics of the show.
Deep South Tattoo Tale
Jay recounts a painful tattoo story of a woman in the deep south getting an eagle with a rat holding a banner, complete with audience reactions.
Affleck Duck Voice
Mikey reveals the new voice of the Aflac Duck is Daniel McKeague, who imitates Gilbert Gottfried after winning a contest.
Royal Wedding Speculation
Jay and the crew dive into British royal wedding gossip, discussing Kate Middleton's potential to become queen and the line of succession.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienSiennaJayChrisGarrettDaniel McKeagueElton JohnBarack ObamaDonald TrumpLindsay LohanJay LenoBlake Shelton
37,498 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Blue eyes, blue eyes, yes, like a D, 97 FM, on a blue day, yeah, little old John in blue eyes. Even for you brown-eyed people, you've got to enjoy that, huh? Blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue eyes, blue We're adding that. Oh, yeah. That's a done deal. That's going right into the rotation. That's a done deal. And it needs to be played every half hour. On the hour. On the half hour. Oh, boy. Mike Esparza? Who's that going out to, young lady? Who's that to Bill? This is Nancy. Who does? I forget the name.
It's called blues. Word around the campfire is Elton actually wrote that for his missus. Welcome to the program, everybody. It's Mikey Show. And welcome to what is going to be a spectacularly beautiful day. It's going to be really nice today. Nice and warm. Anywhere. From 75 to 85 degrees, depending on where you are. It's going to be nice today. Yeah. Good day to snuggle up on the couch. That's right. Or have a meeting. Or have a meeting. Have a meeting. Yeah, let's stay inside all day. You know, I actually, our meetings end about noon, and I actually thought to myself, today, I wonder if I could go do something outside. Work out. Go for a walk. Maybe. I might. Maybe I will.
Throw the twins in a stroller, Mike. Just take them for a walk. Let's start out slow here. We don't even get full of muscle. That weirds me out when I see that. Why? Dad's walking with the stroller? Yeah. It's a little weird. Isn't that weird? It's not weird at all. There's nothing weird about it. It weirds me out because it isn't traditional, and that just kind of weirds me out. I think to myself, oh, mom's at work earning money for the family, and dad's pushing the stroller. Why do you care what people think? I don't know why. I don't know. I don't care. We all do. Well, yeah, I think it's part of us. I've never had that thought cross my mind. I've thought, what a good, involved father. Me too. That's what I think. I'd throw him in the bike trailer and haul him around behind my bike all the time. That's cute. I like that. The only thing that I do think is a little weird is when the guys put the baby in the baby Bjorn. I've done it. You have? Yeah. I'm like, eh, maybe you just hold the baby. You're a big, strong head. When I did do that, I was so fat. I was so overweight, like way, way, way more than now. And the baby Bjorn, you know, I would, you know, squeeze it and cinch it. And my man breasts would poke out through the side like dough trying to rise. You know, Rebecca's got these pictures of me when they were building our home and they were building the pool. And so it was just a big empty cement pool. And I'm down there with Jake strapped to my.
Big fat chest and stomach. Breasts. With cargo shorts on. Oh boy. It's a safety hazard. Just looking so... Terrible. Just terrible. Just hard on yourself. Oh, I looked at the pictures, you know, about a month ago and I went, oh man, that is just, that's terrible. Memories. What's Jake doing in that giant bean bag? Yeah. Why is Jake strapped to a bean bag? To a big old muffin. A brown muffin. Do you know the muffin man? Yeah. Do now. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. And Woods is our sports guy. He's 35. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. She's 30. Sienna is our news girl. She is 26. Jay is our producer. And he's 47. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Krauss. It's Krauss. Don't try to change it, Jay. I'm mixing it up. Word of the day is spaghetti. And when you hear me say...
When you hear me weave the word spaghetti into a sentence between now and 10, caller 9 gets UFC 129, pay-per-view, and tickets to see Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. So get ready. And don't forget, next Thursday is Cinco de Mayo, and that's the day we announce the first annual Ultimate M1 contest winner. So what you should be doing is taking pictures of yourself as the Ultimate M1. And what that means is dressing up as Woods or pretending to be me in a Tommy Mahama shirt or pretending to be Sienna or L.O.B. or J. Any of us here on the show and post the picture to our Facebook page. And the funniest one, the best one is going to be the ultimate M1 contest winner. And the prize is great. It's tickets to go see the Padres on May 6th. against the Diamondbacks, but it's not just tickets. It's tickets for you and nine of your friends to go there and what they call party on the beach. It's the beach seats. Really good seats out in right center field. You sit there in your own private area with your own waitress, and all you got to do to win that for you and nine of your friends is become the ultimate M1. M1s are Mikey Show listeners.
When they call in, they turn their radio down. They get to the point. They don't cuss. They're constantly creating this tribe called the Mikey Show. And they are fanatics. If you're an M1, you will move yourself to Texas, then back to California just to be like Woods. You'll move yourself to New Jersey, back to California to be like L.O.B. You'll move yourself. to La Jolla and stay there, just like Sienna, or you'll move yourself to an oil rig, back to Houston, into a radio station, out to California, over to Florida, back to California, just to be like Jay. That's an M1, a fanatic. Drops it like it's hot. An M1 drops it like it's hot. Drops it like it's hot. That was one of the stranger, more Teretier Jay moments. He didn't even say what an M1 says. Jumps it like it's hot. Jumps it like it's hot. Get Jiggy with it. Oh, my. Macarena. My Adidas. Deodorant. MCA. Almonds. Crispy. Dartboard.
You guys just don't get it. Wednesday. Catalope. Wednesday morning. It is Wednesday morning, Jay. There you go. See? Oh, man. Incredible. Well, phone lines are open. I saw The Voice last night, that new show. I'll tell you what I brought. Phone lines open. 570-1949. Call about whatever you want. Call about a new movie you saw. Call about what you want us to be talking about. Ask a question. Call and say, Mikey, what happened? I thought you were on Rock 105. You can do whatever you want. Maybe you're just fighting The Mikey Show after two and a half years. You just woke up from a coma and you say to yourself, wow, this sounds so different than what I remember. You can call us. Say hi. 570-1949. So there's a lot of buzz going on around San Diego because there's a lot of pelicans here right now. More than I've ever seen in my entire life living here. Yes, in droves. Yes. I mean, for weeks I've noticed this and they're just flocks of, you know, 20s and they're everywhere. Numerous flocks at one time. And so people are just freaking out and lifeguards are coming forward. Like, what's going on? And it's very noticeable.
A pelican has the big gobble-gobble on the, you know, where they put babies in there, right? No, that's a stork. That's a stork. It's similar to a pelican. It's similar to a pelican. Do the pelicans have the big... They do have the gobble-gobble thing. The gobble-gobble thing that they can fit. They put all the fish in there. Fish in there, yeah. We call it the woods. The woods. There's a picture, Mike, for you. Oh, wow. Mm-hmm. But they're everywhere, and I've been having conversations about it. Jay, I mean, it's very noticeable, but... Are they white? Mm-mm. No? They're dark colored. I love that. I've almost taken a picture while driving because I was like, whoa. They're everywhere. Really? They're kind of gray. Yes. They're grayish. Why? Why? I want to know why. Well, for about 40 years, the federal government considered brown pelicans endangered species. And now over the past 25 years, they've grown just in California alone. They say there's about 190,000 pelicans. That same thing happened with Latinos here in California. And in Texas, too. And in Texas. So the seabird specialists are saying they think it's from an abundant food supply and adverse breeding conditions in Mexico. Same thing happened with the Latinos here.
In California, you know, there was a lot of food and adverse breeding conditions. So I should know I'm Latino. Yeah, it's just, I mean, people are saying they've never seen anything like it. Not, I mean, ever in San Diego this many. And so there's literally thousands upon thousands. Will they stay or will they leave here? Or will they make their homes here? Because I foresee problems with the doo-doo. Just pooping on everything. Well, that's what's going on by children's pool, but we don't need to bring that up. There's pelican doo-doo everywhere. Gross, man. Disgusting. Everywhere. Just kill them. Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, they're not an endangered species anymore. I mean, somebody needs to find out what they taste like. Somebody needs to find out what they taste like. I won't be the first one, but I mean, if they're delicious and we got plenty of them. And nutritious. You know. We'll be fine with, you know. Seeing those birds, they dive into the water and grab the fish. Those things are scary birds. Yeah. Let me do the surf and turf. I'll do the, give me the sole, and I'll also take a pelican. Yeah. Medium. Yeah. Medium well. Pelican kebabs. Pelican. I'll take the pelican kebabs. No mushroom. I don't like mushroom. Me neither. What comes on the pelican kebab? It's onions, green peppers, red peppers, and...
What's the other one? Zucchini. That sounds perfect. Wow. That sounds perfect. That's great. It's over a long grain wild rice pilaf. I was going to say pilaf. Is it pilaf? It's pilaf. Do you want to bake the potato? That sounds great. Everything on it? Love that. Yes, you know that. Thank you so much. And a Riesling, if you don't mind? Yeah, absolutely. A non-alcoholic Riesling. No, no, no, no. It's for the lady. Oh, yeah. Shirley Temple? I'll take a bourbon. Arnold Palmer. That's my drink of choice. The old AP. M1 Anonymous from San Diego is on the line. Hi, Anonymous. Good morning. How are you? Good. Well, I... I ran into a couple derby dolls this weekend at La Posta up in Hillcrest. Lucky. They were kind of ordering. They had their uniforms on. Right on. And I asked them, hey, can you sit down and talk with us? Because they were just going to kind of go back to their car or something. And they had nothing but great things to say about the Mikey show. They told us all kinds of stories about how they got into it.
Kind of how they score. And it was just, it was awesome. They're such a, they were so fun, man. Derby dolls came in and they do the roller derby and they were so fun. We had a blast with those girls, man. Those girls look tough. They are. They are tough. They are tough. One of them stepped on my foot with her skates on and I thought I was going to die. One I was talking to, she's got her girls starting into it now. Nice. Wow. And man, they were. They were smoking hot. It was cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I want to go see it. I want to talk my wife into going to see it. They do it, like, on Saturdays out at the Del Mar fairgrounds. And, yeah, I mean. Compete. Yeah. Yeah, they were in Las Vegas not too long ago. They're really getting back into it. Thank you. Thank you, dude. I appreciate the phone call. Yeah, they're great. I love them. They came in. They were really nice. Yes, they were. M1 Cam from Oceanside, what up? What up, Mikey Show? What's going on? I just wanted to tell you guys how come I hate pelicans. Why? Well, like, I've lived in Oceanside most of my life, and so there's a harbor and a beach, and they're pretty chill. Even though they make a lot of noise and stuff, I don't really have that big of a problem with them. It's just, I saw Jumanji, like, when it came out. Yeah, the movie? Yeah. Yeah. And there's a sequence where, like, there's a stampede, and, like, the, you know, CG animals come in and take the house up. Well, a pelican is the last one that comes in.
and he snakes the board from Robin Williams, and it, like, tries to peck at him. There it is now. Yeah, and it freaked me out, and I just have hated them since. You're a pelicanist, my friend. Yeah, I don't blame you. Thanks for the call. I love that movie. It's a good movie. Just on TV again. Well, I'll tell you this. Those pelicans start pooping too much. We'll get rid of them. I guarantee you the city will do something about it. They're cute for a while, but when they start ruining stuff, we will. That's the way we operate around here. It's the way we've always operated around here. It's why you don't see any more chimpanzees running around Horton Plaza. They start pooping on everything. And they're throwing it. Throwing it. And we're like, get them out of here. It used to be fun until somebody loses an eye. Let's see. What else is going on? Oh, the NFL draft is tomorrow. What do you think about that? Oh, wow. That's crazy. Well, it was great, man. I mean, when that thing used to be on the weekend, I was into it. Yep. But Woods started calling it the fake draft for the fake season for the fake players and the fake NFL. And I don't blame him, man, because, you know, they're still in this.
stupid dispute over whether we're not even going to have a 2011 season. And tomorrow's the draft. I haven't even gotten excited about it. But at the same time, I want to know, like, what do we need? What do the Chargers need? What are they going to get? What is the story? All great questions, Mike. You know, there's a few things that they need. Defensive line is probably the most glaring need right now. And everybody across the board really is saying that if they can get J.J. Watt, who's this big, corn-fed white boy from Wisconsin, really quick, they said he'd fit right in. Probably play. Probably will play off the bat. Where do we pick? 18. 18. Mm-hmm. 18. And, you know, they've got a lot of picks in the draft. They're probably going to do some wheeling and dealing. I was kind of going over some of the Chargers. drafts of late last night. And man, just look over some of the guys we passed up on for the Buster Davises and the Larry Englishes and guys like that. Man, you're just like, Palomalu could have a bolt on his helmet. Well, when was that? It was a few years back. It was a few years back. But they said the GM at the time, I think it was Beathard, Bobby Beathard, maybe. And he said, hey, you got too many concussions. He's not fast enough. I mean, just some of the guys. Hindsight's always 20-20.
I wasn't super excited about the draft. The more I get into it, I am. I looked at a lot of mock drafts. The Panthers, my boy Jimmy Clawson from ND, they picked first. He has not done one thing in the NFL. They scored 17 touchdowns as a team last year. They've got to have a spark plug. I think that spark plug is Cam Newton. I think he's going to be the first pick in the draft. But five quarterbacks expected to go in the first round. Wow! Yeah, Blaine Gabbert is going to be a big pick, too. There's a lot of guys, man, that I'm really excited about. And it should be interesting. It should be a really good first round. But I'm interested to see what A.J. does. If Watt is on the board and we pass on him, I think it's a bad move. Who are the big, like, studs? Marcel Darius. He's a big old defensive tackle from Alabama. Von Miller's a linebacker from A&M. projected at the third pick, but they're not sure. The Bengals, now this is interesting because this came out today. Ocho Cinco has tweeted that he now wants out of Cincinnati too. Nothing like tweeting the day before a draft that he wants out and he's unhappy. So there's a big need at wide receiver for Cincinnati who also needs a quarterback because Carson has said, I'm not playing, I'll retire.
What a messed up organization. It's a train wreck. So they were looking at Blaine Gabbert, the quarterback from Missouri. Now they're thinking Julio Jones, wide receiver from Alabama. Because what do you do? I mean, the way I look at it is you've got to get a quarterback. And you've got to get somebody in there that can slide right into Carson's spot. What have you got five? Yeah, there's five in the first round. Five in the first round. And you know, the real wild card is the kid out of Arkansas, Ryan Mallett. Is that the kid whose head isn't right? His head isn't right, but they said. His talent is too much to pass up. Oh, boy. But they're saying he might have fallen in the second round. Didn't he go get wasted the night before his interview with the Panthers? Allegedly. He said he was seen out in Charlotte, just boozing it up. Went to one meeting the next day and goes, all right, I'm done. I can't go. I don't feel good. I don't feel good. I can't go on anymore. Wasn't he late for his meeting? I think he was on time for his first meeting, and then he bailed after that first meeting. He was supposed to meet with all the staff. Crazy. He's one of those guys, man. He can go to a place like a New England that can whip him into shape or like, you know, somewhere that's not Miami, somewhere that's not Dallas, somewhere where he's not New York, where he's going to go get in trouble, like a Minnesota or maybe a Cincinnati where it's like, hey, man, I got to come out here and play football. There's nothing else to do. A Buffalo, you know what I mean? He'd be a great fit for Ryan Mallett. This was interesting, too. Sony PlayStation.
apparently was a victim of one of the largest online data breaches ever. Yeah. Now, this happened between April 17th and 19th, and they were aware of it right away, Sony, PlayStation, but they didn't announce what happened until yesterday. And apparently, someone hacked onto their site and actually got a hold of names, addresses, possibly credit card data from 77 million users who have accounts. And all that information was stolen. Birthdates, usernames, passwords, logins, everything. Wow. And so, this is, I mean, PlayStation's going to have... have a lot of explaining to do. Yes, because that's bad. Yeah, it's the people, you know, you go online and you play guys in other places and stuff like that. Jay does it. It's a nerd on nerd crime, I think. Yes, and they call it nerd on nerd crime. The network has been shut off since Friday, and if you try and go on, it will say connection error or something, but yeah, be really careful. How stinky is that? If you're paying for your account? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. It's downright stinky. Yet another reason not to play online. LLB's right, though, man. It's so sad to see nowadays these nerd-unnerd crimes where you think that you would stand up for your brother, and here they are just going after one another. You guys, these people are warriors. They're out there fighting the good fight every night. They're warriors. They're warriors. It's Warriors. On a beanbag chair. Yeah, we can Warriors. Just high. Lava lamp. With a bong next to it. Dartboard. Some are high. Not all. Most are high on burritos. Some are high on Doritos and burritos, yes. Fall asleep with their hand in the cheetah bag. You guys fit right in there. That's right. Got that right, buddy. I watched that show The Voice last night. What'd you think of it? I'm dying to hear about it. Well, you know, what they do is, first of all, it's Mark Burnett. You know, he produced it. Carol Burnett's husband? No. Different person. Mark Burnett of Survivor fame. He's a smart cat. He's a smart cat. And they don't use Christina Aguilera and CeeLo Green and that country guy. Blake Shelton. And Adam Levine from Maroon 5. They don't use them as judges. They're not judges.
They're coaches. They pick teams. See, what's interesting about this show is that I think what they did was they went out and they said, what's the stuff that people don't really care for with American Idol? Let's eliminate that and let's take the best of what that show is. So there is no Hollywood stuff. They don't like audition people. They've already been auditioned. By the time they get to this program, they're real good. extraordinarily good singers. When we come back, though, I want to tell you how they do this, how it works. Got a couple clips. It's pretty cool. I think I'm in. I'm very intrigued by this for some reason. Well, when you hear L.O.B., like how it's done and everything, and like what the concept is, it's pretty cool. I mean, they play on your emotions. They do a lot of pretty cool stuff. Now, this is interesting, too. Last night...
On The Tonight Show, Lindsay Lohan, I guess, made one of her first big appearances. Yeah. And I don't know that she's really done any big interviews, right? No, this is a big deal. Yeah, so we got all that audio of Lindsay Lohan being on Jay Leno last night. So we'll do that for you, too. Don't go anywhere. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42s. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. The War Kids. On the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii.
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I put that s*** on everything. Frank's Red Hot Sauce goes on anything. It's aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to jambalaya, ribs, collard greens, steaks, fries, sausage, onion rings, crab legs, chicken, chili, and even prized pumpkins. Frank's Red Hot Sauce. I put that s*** on everything. This report is brought to you by Allstate. Get better protection with a personal touch. Your local Allstate agent will get the coverage that's right for you at the best possible price. Are you in good hands? On the 15 northbound before Tierra Santa Boulevard, we've got a surfboard. It's in the second lane from the left. Also the 163 southbound before Park Boulevard. An accident here. A couple cars they've moved to the right shoulder. CHP still on the scene. And the speeds are starting to dip on that 52 eastbound drive between the 163 and Mass Boulevard. This report also brought to you by the... the San Diego Convention and Visitors Bureau. Venture to Alpine for the annual Sage and Songbird Festival. It's May 6th through the 8th. And if you'd like to learn more, visit sandiego.org slash East County. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Part of the problem with me is I like summertime. I just, I don't like going out and doing stuff. Lauren. I have ketchup packets in my drawer at home. So what? Woods. Mikey, I have a new ritual. What? I have to have a Dr. Pepper and a donut on the way to work every morning. Sienna. I want to work out. I hate the gym, but I want to go. And Jay. I am a huge fan of meatloaf. On FM 94.9. This one, baby, is for only you. Always does. My pops love the platters. Reminds me of Goodfellas. How you doing, Hendry? Hey, Hendry. Hey, this is Tommy. You're going to be working with me. How you doing, Hendry? Lindsay Lohan went on The Tonight Show last night. I thought she looked great. Weird. She always does. I think she looks great. She does look good. Oh, yeah.
So anyway, we'll be playing that for you here in just a second. Operation Street Impact happens on May 14th. This is going to be a mammoth event. It's happening at Qualcomm Stadium. Boom. Happens at 10 a.m. Bring it. Food. Us. The brand new Mikey Show sticker. It's on. It's going to be fantastic. But also from San Diego Harley-Davidson. Oh, yeah. A brand new $24,000 FXDB Harley-Davidson. Winning. And by the way, we encourage you to stop by San Diego Harley-Davidson and take a look at the bike because it's in there, in their showroom. You walk in, you can see it. Right. You can also register for Independence Jam tickets while you're there. That's right. It's very cool. So when you go in and you see the bike.
You may win yourself some Independence Jam tickets because they're qualifying people out there. And the bike is there. You can sit on the bike, look at the bike, the whole deal. But it is worth seeing. It's amazing, man. As for Tricia, treat yourself. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Holy cow. I'm just saying. She's a pretty girl. Want her to be a fan of our show? Yeah. You just noticed that, AJ? She's a pretty girl. I didn't notice. Yeah, he doesn't really see that. He doesn't see that. You just see the personality. Just another person. Just another human being. Just another human. Happens to be very, very attractive. Maybe offended right now. Maybe slightly offended this morning. Or creeped out. Yeah, I don't think she's offended. I think that that's flattering. She doesn't want people to come in and say, I want Trisha's because I want to treat myself. Not what she wants to hear. Maybe not the most flattering. It was meant as a compliment. Oh, it was meant as a creepy compliment. Go see Trisha and treat yourself. She's a very, very attractive girl. She is. Okay, if you say so, I just...
You were just saying that because she's... She's just a pleasure to have a conversation with. That's right. That as well. She is that as well. But she's pretty. And I guess Jay noticed it. And so, anyway. Anyway. Take something far and then go farther. Just take it further, right? He just jumped in the pool. Cannonball. Cannonball. That was unexpected. Holy cow. Cannonball. All right, thanks. So anyway, OSI, your chance to win that, Harley. And it's going to be real good. So The Voice is a new show that came on NBC, and it's not judges. They don't have judges. They're going to have teams.
And then somebody, they're going to whittle the teams down and then somebody's going to win. Now, here's what's interesting about this show, The Voice. The coaches are Christina Aguilera and CeeLo Green and Adam Levine from Maroon 5. And what's country guy? Blake Shelton. Let's call him the country guy. And the country guy. And they're all in chairs with their backs to the performer so that they don't see him. It's all about The Voice. Now, by the time these... Singers get to the stage. They've gone through a process of being seen by producers. They're good. They're very good. And all the person, the coach that's listening has to do is listen. And when they get to a point in their singing where they really like them and they want them, they press a button that turns their chair around and then they get to see what they look like. Now, if you don't. If they don't do anything for you, you don't press your button. Now, once you do press your button and you turn around, let's say Christina Aguilera and CeeLo Green both like this singer and they want them for their team. The person then has to decide, well, whose team do I want to go on? Because two of them want me. Wow.
Put the power back in their hands. Put the power back in their hands. And maybe all four like them and want them for the team. Wow. They have to pick which one do I want to go with. And it's kind of hard for them because they have to say no to Christina Aguilera. Right. And some people don't get picked at all. And then do they go home? Some people do not get picked. Like last night there was a guy who was like a rock guy. And he had a very, very cool look and everything. But not one person turned around. Aw. And the guy that's the sort of Ryan Seacrest of the show is Carson Daly. So he waits outside for them to walk out. And their whole family is there outside the door waiting. And they're looking up there hoping. And what they do is, which is kind of cool, is these judges, they'll be listening and they're kind of liking it, right? So they put their hand over the buzzer and they're like, should I? I don't know. And the crowd's like, come on, do it! And they don't sometimes. They're like... Can they have as many as they want or do they only get a certain amount? Everybody gets a certain amount. And they whittle it down. You got a team of eight, I think. That would make me so nervous if I was one of them because I'd want to pick everyone and then there's going to be someone I miss out on in the end. And what's really cool, what kind of builds emotion with it is that somebody's up there and they're just belting a song out, right? And you can tell that these judges, they're listening to it and they're like, this person's pretty good.
And they'll hit a note and they'll go and they'll slam that thing because they're like, that's good. And when they turn around, it gets the person on stage jacked up. And then they just start pounding the song. And then you see the other person sitting there and they're looking over and they see that chair turned around. And they're looking at the expression on that person's face because now that person sees them. And the person's like, holy crap. crap, that girl is good looking or that dude is good. And they were like, I can't take it. I got to turn around. I got to see. And they turn around too. And if one of the, not judges, but people on the show. You want to call them judges. But if they don't turn around, they never see what the person looked like? No, they do after it's all over. After the performance is over, they turn around. And then they have to explain why they didn't. Turn around. Well, in a sense, they are judges because they are judging their performance, and that's when they hit the bottom. So you can call them judges. They're more coaches, though. And the country guy would be like... Blake Shelton. They'd go, hi. You know? He's funny. Is he Australian? No. The thing is... Blake Shelton is funny and very popular. He's 6'5". Does he look around and go...
What the hell am I doing here? That's Christina Aguilera. No, because they're big country people, too. People singing country. He's big in the country world. He is? Huge, yeah. He's marrying Miranda Lambert. Oh, happy birthday, Blake. Yeah. But, no, some of them are pretty good. Girl came out there and sang that Adele song. Oh, Rolling in the Deep. Oh, that's, whoa. Yeah. It's a big move. Yeah. Do you have a taste of it? Yeah, I'll give you a taste of it. She was a lesbian girl. They do a little backstory on everybody. And they tell you a little bit about, you know, what they're... They said she's a lesbian. And they said, she goes, you know, it took me a while, but I finally came out to my family. And now I'm just kind of letting it all hang out. I'm not even kind of lesbian. Oh, wait, Oprah. Now imagine all these judges. They can't see her, but they hear the audience. Now, as this is going on, Christina Aguilera is like, not bad, not bad. I'm not completely thrilled, but not bad. Christina Aguilera at this point goes, boom. She's like, I'm in. She hit that note good. Yeah. CeeLo Green, he's sitting there and he's got his hands up to his face. He's like, he's thinking about it. He's got these sunglasses on. He's thinking about it. He's like, can I do something with this chick? Because they got to coach him up. Interesting show. I might watch this show. It was interesting.
I like the format. I thought the format was pretty interesting. You know, I think I'm convinced too is all of these people, call them judges or whatever they are, they're already all doing so well. They don't need like to get a resurgence or to get like... noticed or something. So they have to be really in on what the show is to be like, okay, I'm going to divert my attention from my recording, my touring schedule, because this is like, this seems like a good enough show. For sure. It's not like, it's not like has been, it's not like Dancing with the Stars where you haven't seen these guys in 15 years. Here was an uncomfortable moment. Country guys up there singing, right? No, no, no. Oh, another country. A country guy. You're never going to learn his name, though. A country guy. Not the country guy. Not the country guy. A country guy. All right, glad we played that up. A country guy's up there singing. You got on the big cowboy hat and the button snap, the pearl snaps and the whole deal. He's up there singing. And, of course.
The country guy turns his chair around. Blake Shelton? The country guy. The country guy. And the other guy that turns his chair around is Adam Levine from Maroon 5. Thinks, I can do something with this guy. Cool. CeeLo Green doesn't know what he's listening to. He has no idea. And then you got... Say what up, black people? Then you got Christina Aguilera, and she doesn't turn her chair around. But finally, when it's all over, they all turn their chair around. Now remember... Parents are out in the lobby watching on flat screens with Carson Daly. And they're wondering, why are they not turning their chairs around? So when they turn their chairs around at the end of the performance, they have to give their thoughts on why they didn't turn their chair around. And Christina Aguilera goes, oh, you're cute. And the crowd, yay. She goes, can you take your hat off? And he's like, I probably have hat head, but sure. Takes his hat off. And she goes, oh, you're cute. She goes, can you take your pants off? Whoa. Oh, okay. And she goes, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. And they instantly go to a shot of his parents. Oh, my God. And they're like.
Whoa. That's our kid. I told you. If we took him to the big city, I told you. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Two-bit hussies and floozy. I guarantee he's going to be kissing rock star boys in a couple weeks. He'll probably turn lesbian. He'll be a lesbian. He'll be wearing mascara. Guaranteed. Guy liner. What do you call it? Guy liner. Skinny jeans. Oh, my God. Look like Kings Leon up there. Baby, what are you going to do when our boy comes home and says he's a lesbian? I done told you. Told you we shouldn't come out here. Should have stayed in Appalachia. None of this would have happened. He's going to be wearing Converse sneakers. You know it's true. Lesbian Converse wearing sun. It's just what happened with the Smith son. That's right. He did the same thing, that boy. Now, he's a lesbian. I think his brother's a lesbian, too. Now, have long hair like the Beatles? It'll be awful. That's a hippie. Your fault. Well, there it is. That's the deal. Then last night on Leno, Lindsay went on and told her story. Were you worried that a lot of these phone calls were not going to happen, that people were not going to be calling you as much, that some of these roles might not come around? You know, I've made a lot of poor decisions in the past, and I'm dealing with the consequences of those decisions. What an incredibly sexy...
Yeah, there were times when I was concerned, but I'm a fighter, and I know that I have to work to gain the respect back. And I'm willing to do the work that I have to do to follow through with being an actress. That's what I like. That's great. You know, everybody. Imagine what she sounds like in the morning. Oh, my gosh. Hey, baby. Hey. Get coffee? Are you going to get me that? Should I just get my own? So many great ass. All my own. Room service? Should I just make myself breakfast? Or is it just going to make itself? Hold on. Give me a tissue. Where's the balcony? Give me a tissue. Give me a tissue. Hand me my sock. Where's that gram I left laying around? I smell the light like Charlie Sheen. You got any deodorant? Actors that have come here, Jane Fonda was the last one. And just backstage, she would say, Lindsay Long is one of the greatest actresses I've ever worked with. And these people couldn't be more complimentary. I mean, at what point did you realize, oh my God, I could lose this. This could slip away from me. I think that when... Oh, I don't know, Jay.
Maybe it was at the fourth DUI or maybe it was the third time I was at the Los Angeles Superior Courtroom. She has five different mug shots. Maybe it was when I was waiting to be sentenced for the fifth time for stealing a necklace. One of those. Maybe it was when I was getting kicked out of Betty Ford. When I beat up that lady that worked there. Why don't you shove my face in it and then spank my nose with the newspaper rolled up? Stay away from the crack. Being young and being in a position that I was in, you don't really take the time to appreciate what you have. And it all is kind of a whirlwind and people make decisions for you. But I'm not a kid anymore. I'm 24. I've made a lot of mistakes and I recognize that. But I'm in the clear now and I feel like as long as I stay focused. 24-year-olds say that they're 24 as if it's 54. Yeah, I was a train wreck when I was 24. I was too. I mean... I know I sound 35, but I'm 24. I had no idea. I thought she was 30 years old. She's in the business since she's been like eight. That's true. She had to grow up kind of quickly. Looks a little haggard for 24. Breaking news. President Obama and the White House have released his certificate of live birth, which I'm kind of wondering, well, what's the news story there?
I mean, because it hadn't been released. Well, hadn't we known all, okay. It hadn't been released. They had confirmed its existence, but not released. Hadn't seen it. No one's seen it. We knew that he had a certificate of live birth. He doesn't have a birth certificate. But we knew that he had a certificate of live birth. And so, anyway, we've been, I don't, I was going to say we've been waiting for it. We haven't, though. The truth is we haven't been waiting for it. Certificate of live birth. Anyway, here we go. Donald Trump has been raising this issue, and the president is discarding this huge distraction. And right now, you'll see that he actually released two reporters. His mother's name on the birth certificate of live birth, by the way, Stanley Ann Dunham. Stanley. What up, Stanley? Hello, Stanley. Hello. I can't get the networks to break in on all kinds of other discussions. I was just back there listening to Chuck. He was saying, it's amazing that he's not going to be talking about national security. I would not have the networks breaking in if I was talking about that, Chuck, and you know it. Hey, listen, I just got back from Kinko's, and those guys do a hell of a job. They do a hell of a job. First of all, I'd like to thank Jared over at createyourdesignonline.com. He is a graphic designer.
And I called him yesterday and said, hey, can you get me a certificate of live birth? And I need it to look as real as you can make it. Yep. And you know what's amazing about him? Five minutes later, he had the thing to me in a PDF form and a JPEG. And we took that sucker down to Kinko's and we are ready to go. Anybody got any questions? As many of you have been briefed, we provided additional information today about the site. Of my birth. I've never seen him look happier. He's ecstatic. He looks, right? I mean, he's got a smile. He never is smiling. He's happy and joking around almost, it seems. Yes. It's almost like it's the announcement of his daughter's wedding. Yeah. He's come to announce the, you know, hey, I know you've all, you know, Malia. is uh has announced she's engaged to a wonderful young man named brad and the two of them will be are engaged and the date is june 24th of 2026 and i just couldn't be happier brad is a a lovely fourth grader and uh in 2026 i i just i can't wait to be there now this issue has been going on for two two and a half years now i think it started during the campaign and
I have to say that over the last two and a half years, I have watched with bemusement. I've been puzzled at the degree to which this thing just kept on going. We've had every official in Hawaii, Democrat and Republican, every news outlet that has investigated this, confirm that, yes, in fact, I was born in Hawaii. August 4th, 1961 in Kapi'olani Hospital. We've posted the certification that is given by the state of Hawaii. The what? Certification. Or the certification, Jay. Either one. We've posted the certification. Sir. Sorry about that. I was thinking of something funny. Certification. Certification. Certification. Certification. Potato, potato. Tomato, tomato. Let's call the whole thing. Envelope, envelope. My potato, potato has been a... Just call the whole thing on. Let's call the whole thing on. We come back, we'll play the rest of that. One more. Also, do the gas prices right. What do we have as a prize, Jay? We have a pair of tickets to see Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock. So come on down. 570-1949 if you want to play the...
Gas prices, right? We give you the median price of gas, then we give you some items. You've got to tell us if it's higher or lower. Easy. And we'll play the rest of Obama talking about his birth certificate. It's happening live on television. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes are huge. On Saturday, May 14th, The Mikey Show and M1s take over Qualcomm Stadium from 10 a.m. to Asian Street Impact. The Mikey Show sticker is in and ready for your ride. Every bar receives a prize. We've got a his and her mountain bike from Harrow, a brand new Ibanez guitar, a 42-inch LG plasma with 5.1 surround sound, and Blu-ray player. Plus, we're adding new prizes daily.
Did we mention a brand new $24,000 FXDB Harley from San Diego Harley Davidson Impact? 55,000 seats sold out in minutes for the biggest UFC event of all time. The Ultimate Fighting Championship presents UFC 129. Here we go! Two title fights and a legendary showdown of former champions. Six years undefeated with 15 straight victories. Former Strikeforce champion Jake Shields meets the greatest welterweight of all time. Undisputed champion George St. Pierre and one of the most vicious strikers in the world. Featherweight champion Jose Aldo makes his UFC debut against Mark the Machine Hominick. Plus, Hall of Famer Randy the Natural Couture battles Leoto the Dragon Machida. Tap Out presents UFC 129 from Rogers Center in Toronto. Live this Saturday night only.
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Join the thousands nationwide committed to ending women's cancers. Be a part of this fundraising event Saturday, May 21st and help raise money for research, treatment and education. To sign up for Walk for Hope, visit walkforhope.org. To learn how Ovation Cell Therapy can work for you, log on to ovationhair.com and watch the testimonials or visit the Ovation booth at Walk for Hope, Saturday, May 21st. We'll be there to answer your questions. OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 for your special introductory discount. Ovation can work for you, too. Mother's cookies will always remind me of Grandpa's house. Or better yet, leaving Grandpa's house. We used to have family reunions at his place. My aunts and uncles would sit around and retell outrageous old stories. Usually at the same time. That's when Grandpa would give me the signal. And we'd slip out for a drive to get mother's cookies. We both loved the circus animals for the pink frosting and the way the round sprinkles crunch on your teeth. On the way back, Grandpa would take the long way home. And we'd eat cookies and listen to nothing but jazz and the sound of the ocean. I know it's simple. But Grandpa and I both liked simple. And now, at every family reunion, that's the story I like to tell. Over and over again. Mother's Cookies.
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Come in today and check out Cricket's all-new LG Optimus C. It's a fully loaded Android 2.2 for just $149.99 after $50 mail and reward card. Hurry while supplies last. So smart, so Cricket. Truly Nolan's total termite protection is so technically advanced, it covers all species of termites under one agreement and is backed by a $1 million guarantee. Call 1-800-GO-TRULLY. 1-800-GO-TRULLY. This report is brought to you by Carfax. Buying a used car this spring? Ask your dealer for a free Carfax vehicle history report to see the vehicle's history before it becomes part of your future. Just say show me the Carfax or you can go to Carfax.com. Well, it looks like the 94 in both directions between the 5 and the 805. Pretty slow this morning. Also checking out the 805 northbound between Market Street, University Avenue. Some delays. And as you head through Escondido, the 15 southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway. Also pretty slow. This report brought to you by the California Highway Patrol. If you're driving, texting, checking Facebook or returning emails and they catch you, you're going to get a ticket. If you don't kill yourself first, it's not worth it. A message from the California Highway Patrol. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
KBCT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. I can back up like nobody's business into spots. What I can't do is parallel park. Lauren. I just don't like the way beef tastes at all. Woods. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. Ziena. I have the fastest wiener dog on the planet. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. Trash cans for that one man. He's right. It's coming up in just a moment. And the news. Well, do you remember hearing a few months ago that Taco Bell's meat was not... as high a percentage of actual meat as it should be beef? I do. Well, so does everyone else because Taco Bell's business has been hurting because of it. And actually the company Beasley Allen, the Alabama law firm that came forward with this, dropped the class action suit last week. And they said because Taco Bell made changes in marketing. Well, Taco Bell has said, we didn't make any changes. They dropped the suit because it's not true. And now Taco Bell is demanding an apology.
from this law firm. They should. You can't just say stuff. You can't just say stuff. Also, New Jersey's Secretary of State ruled yesterday that Olympic gold medal winning sprinter Carl Lewis cannot run for a seat in the New Jersey Senate because he doesn't meet the requirement of having four years of state residence. Now he's arguing that saying, you know, yes, I pay taxes in California, but he's owned a home in the state of New Jersey since 2005. He's from there. He's from there. He has a New Jersey driver's license. And he's run a three-minute mile. And he's like, so. He's the worst singer of the national anthem ever to walk the face of the earth. Without question. I'm sure he'll end up running because they're going to, you know, fight that. What's going on in sports? Well, sports is brought to us today by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some. Feast on it real good. Well, Padres got feasted on last night by the Braves. The Braves rolled them 8-2. The streak starts over for my... Friars had haircut. If they win, what was the number? Six. Six in a row. I will... shaved my head into a Friars cut. They did not play very well. Again, they scored two runs. They have no offense. Here is their manager, Bud Black, after the game cut one. You know, we just couldn't get to Georgia. You know, we had a low pitch count. You know, we had a good slider, good split, located his fastball. We just couldn't get anything going. And they just, you know, the big five running, you know, came back to haunt us. We don't give those up very often.
Now, you don't get many of those either, five-run innings. But we've got to get some offense on that team. Come on. And the Los Angeles Lakers took care of business last night. They need one more win to eliminate the Hornets. Sounds like they had a lot of fun doing it. Cut to Phil Jackson, their head coach. They've got our hands on a lot of balls. Oh, wow. Weird. It's uncharacteristic. That's hot. Little ears. Little ears. So that was a big part of the game. There you go. Always an important part of the game. Absolutely. Gas Price is right. Coming up in just a second. Obama is holding a press conference right now because we knew that he had a certificate of live birth. We knew that. We've been told. But he's, I guess, released it. Yes. So he's talking. On the Internet for everybody to see. People have provided affidavits that they, in fact, have seen this birth certificate. And yet this thing just keeps on going. Now, normally. I would not comment on something like this. That's beneath me. Because obviously there's a lot of stuff swirling in the press at any given day. And, you know, I've got other things to do. But two weeks ago. For instance, I went to the Lakers heat game. And the Republican House had put forward a budget that will have huge consequences potentially to the country. And when I gave a speech about my budget.
and how I felt that we needed to invest in education and infrastructure and making sure that we had a strong safety net for our seniors, even as we were closing the deficit. During that entire week, the dominant news story wasn't about these huge monumental choices that we're going to have to make as a nation. It was about my birth certificate. Weird. And that was true on most of the news outlets that were represented here. And so I just want to make a larger point here. We've got some enormous challenges out there. There are a lot of folks out there who are still looking for work. Everybody is still suffering under high gas prices. He keeps banging his hands right here. We're hitting the damn podium. Very difficult decisions about how we invest in our future, but also get a hold of our deficit and our debt. How do we do that in a balanced way? I have no freaking clue.
Mr. President, put your freaking hands in your pockets right now. I'm being told to put my freaking hands in my pockets. You're distracting me. Stop hitting the podium. Stop hitting the podium. I'm sorry to raise my voice. One of the things that we need to try to keep in mind is that the important issues here. Stop hitting the podium. We told him earlier. Are not necessarily. He needs to be emphatic, but maybe we turn our mics down. He needs to be emphatic, but maybe we turn our mics down. Generate huge and serious debates. Important debates. And there are going to be some fierce disagreements. And that's good. That's how democracy is supposed to work. And I'm confident that the American people and America's political leaders can come together in a bipartisan way and solve these problems we always have. But we're not going to be able to do it if we are distracted. Speaking of distraction. We're not going to be able to do it if we spend time vilifying each other. We're not going to be able to do it. If we just make stuff up and pretend that facts are not facts, we're not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers. Yes. Get some, dude. I agree. I love it. I love it. I'm all the way in. I don't care about the birth certificate thing. I don't either. Well, now, you know Donald Trump? You suck it. That's what Donald Trump already said. He's like...
He's got a certificate of life birth. He doesn't have a birth certificate. And I have every confidence that America in the 21st century is going to be able to come out on top just like we always have. But we're going to have to get serious to do it. Get some, dude. I know that there's going to be a segment of people for which no matter what we put out, this issue will not be put to rest. But I'm speaking to the vast majority of the American people. As well as to the press. Everybody except Donald Trump is what I'm trying to say. We do not have time for this kind of silliness. All right, Donald. We got better stuff to do. I want you all to see my T-shirt. I've got better stuff to do. Says Donald Trump. Suck it. We got big problems to solve. And I'm confident we can solve them. Get solved! We don't have to focus on them. Love it. Not on this. Inspired. Thanks very much, everybody. Mr. President, where did you have that printed? I don't know about you, but I'm inspired. Well, I could tell you about me. I'm not inspired, but hey, you know, teach their own. Respect that man. He's the leader of the free world. He's the leader of our country, and I support him, and I don't care about this stupid... I'm on the same page I was before he made the speech. I was already in his corner. I was already in his corner, too. Nothing's really cheating. And now it's time for the Money Gas Prize. This is where you get to gas on the price of gas. Now, I know I have some...
articles of clothing on. No, just kidding. I have my stupid Price is Right stuff. First, let's get our players. M1 Get Sticker Maker, are you there? Yep. How are you? How are you doing? I'm good, man. Okay, so this is the way that we're going to play the game. I am going to give you the average price of gas here in San Diego. It's $4.25, okay? Got it. $4.25. Now, what you need to do is get three out of five of these items correct. You're either going to tell me higher or lower. Okay? Okay. Okay. This means business. All right. One can of Raid Ant and Roach Spray. Is it higher or lower than $4.25? Higher. It's actually $3.99. It's lower.
Damn it. One 19-ounce bottle of Downey Ultra fabric softener. Is it higher or lower than $4.25? I'm going to do laundry. I'm going to go higher. That is correct. Well done. It's $4.99. You need to get two more of these right. You got three left. Here we go. One 25-ounce bottle of Tide detergent. Is that higher or lower than $4.25? Lower. It's actually higher. Getting close. $6.99. Just got to get these next two to win. You got to get these next two in a row, bro. You've got this. One can of 7-Eleven Tire Maintenance Tire Inflator Spray. This is the stuff that blows your tire up if you get a flat. One can of 7-Eleven Tire Maintenance Tire Inflator Spray. Is it higher or lower than $4.25? $4.99. One more. You can do this. You can do this. You got this. You got this. Last one. One box. You got it.
Of ham and cheese hot pockets. There's two in a box, and we're talking about one box of ham and cheese hot pockets. Is that lower or higher than $4.25? Higher. I would have said higher, too. Sorry, dude. You were one away. I'm very sorry. I buy the big boxes. That doesn't count? No, it's just a twofer. No, it doesn't. Good try. This is good for Kid Rock Sheryl Crow tickets. At Cricket Wireless. That's right, Mikey. That's JJ. M1 Million from La Jolla. Are you there? Yes, I am. All right. You got to get three out of five. Here we go. Wait a minute. Can I have a caveat? Sure. What is it? Instead of the tickets, can I do a sign to secure it with Jay, the old man? Whoa. Sure. I say yes, you can. I say yes. Yes, you can. You can be like his assistant. You can be his lovely assistant.
That would be awesome. All right, cool. Oh, wow. All right, this is for one lovely assistant appearance with Jay, the old man that does science. Cheap date. You must get three out of five correct. The average price of gas here in San Diego, $4.25. You got to get higher or lower. One pint of Rocky Road Haagen-Dazs ice cream. I'm sure at some point you've been on your period and watched Notting Hill. What the heck? Got to know. What the heck? Doesn't every woman that's been on a period watch Nottingham? Ew, stop saying that. Ew. That's gross. Kind of a little tact. Yes. Just don't bring it up. Aren't we all adults? How are you even assuming that I'm a woman? Oh, wow. That's weird. What does that mean? One pint or one gallon? Half gallon. One pint of Rocky Road Haagen-Dazs ice cream. Is it higher or lower than $4.25? Lower. It's actually higher than $4.25. It's $4.69. I'm so weirded out. A three-pound bag. What happened? What about a three-pound bag of Kingsford charcoal? Is that higher or lower than $4.25? Three pounds. That's like a shoebox.
A three-pound bag of Kingsford charcoal, my ambiguous friend. How are you focusing on anything else? I'm not. I can't. I'm not, and I can't. How do you know that I'm even a woman? What day is it? Fire. That is correct. It's $4.49. You need to get two more, and you've got three left. Nice job, dude. One. Dude. One 12-ounce bottle of Busy Bee Honey. Is that higher or lower than $4.25? Lower. That is correct. Way to go. It's $3.99. Man. Bro. You only need to get... Good job, man. You only need to get one more right, fella, and you are on your way in here. You got it, son. Good luck, guy. Come on, guy. You got this. One 10-pack. Of Mission Tortillas, Mikey. One 10-pack of Mission Tortillas. Is that higher or lower than $4.25? Is it the soft taco size or the burrito size? It's... Wow. She knows what it's like. Regular old size. Regular old... Standard burrito. Standard taco size. Higher. It's actually lower than $4.25. Sorry, Chief. It's $3.59, bro. And so... You're the man!
Now, don't worry. This is your last chance. You got this. This is your last chance, and I think you'll do good at this one, okay? One three-pack of Trojan Ultra Thin Condoms. Now, you've bought those a million times. Got this, homie. Is that higher or lower than 425, Holmes? Come on, guy. Do I get my phone a friend? What's that? You do not get a phone a friend. You do not get the phone a friend. Higher or lower? A three-pack Trojan Ultra Thin Condoms. Is that higher or lower than $4.25? Lower. I am sorry, M1 Million. Dang it. It's actually $4.29. However, since
You're not going to win the prize that was offered. I will allow you to come in and be an assistant to Jay as the old man that does science. I don't know why you want that. I don't know why you want to do that, but we'll allow it. Cutest little science nerd you've ever seen. Are you really? You're into science, huh? Yeah. All right. Well, maybe you can have an experiment. We'll do yours. I call this French kiss a woman that ain't my wife. Chris, get the camera. It's work, Kim. Don't worry about it. This is called the different ways to French. And I'm trying to put food on the table. Hey, we got to feed Jasper and Liberty and Maddie and Maddie's boyfriend. We're making static electricity. Let's do reproduction.
Next time you want to get mad about it, just remember, I'm putting food on the table. Grand Canyon don't pay for itself. Camping out in sub-zero temperatures in the Grand Canyon ain't going to pay for itself. That's right. All my surfboards aren't going to buy themselves. Hey, that half pipe ain't going to pay for itself in the backyard, all right? You know the nails I didn't put in that treehouse? They're not free. Zip line, didn't you fall out of the sky? Yes. What I'm going to do here is show you how a baby breastfeeds with its mama, all right? That's what we're going to do. I'll be the baby. I'll be the baby. Stop it. You ain't going to hurt my feelings. You ain't going to hurt my feelings if you have me play the baby. All right, million. I'll do it. I'll do it. Oh, my gosh. Bring on the big ones. My daughter is six years old, and she would. Just be surreal to see me doing that with him because we normally do the vinegar and baking soda kind of experience. Well, there you go, guys. There you go. Well, I'm going to put you on a hold and we'll get your information. It's cool that her husband won't mind. Yeah. No kids allowed, by the way. It's adults only, by the way. That's right. And we're going to call it Bikini Friday. So everybody except for...
Except for me, in the experiment, has to wear a bikini. It's called Hedonism Friday. All right. I hope you're all right with that. Well, there it is. Let's see here. She moved me to tears with that comment. What was going on? I don't know. What did she say? Why did you assume I'm a woman? How could you even assume that I'm a woman? I guess we don't. I guess we will not. Woods suggested that I do this the other day, and I did. He said, we have to revisit the woman getting the tattoo in Scrams. And I said, that's a good idea. Why don't we do that? I'm already loving this. Set it up a little bit. Set it up. We played it a long time ago. It's a woman in the South getting a tattoo. As a matter of fact, I'll tell you what we're going to do. You've heard us play this a million times. It's killing me. I never knew where that came from. Sienna thought it was a guy. I thought it was a dude. Were you not here when we played it? You must have been on maternity. Prepare to feast. It's a woman in the deep south. Oh, yeah. Alabama. Tennessee. I mean, in the deep south. She's getting a tattoo. And she has a very low pain tolerance. And we're going to play it for you.
maybe one of the funniest things I've ever heard. No question. So we'll do that for you when we come back. Oh, also, the new voice of the Aflac Duck has been chosen. Oh, boy. And wait till you hear it. We'll play it for you next. 94.9 FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Miller Lite returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages performing on the Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at IndependenceJam.com or at FM949SD.com.
94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th. Be there. Hey, look, Mother's Day is right around the corner. And think of all the wonderful things over the years that your mom has done for you. When you were growing up, who made you that spaghetti and made you all those nice dinners and took care of you when you were sick? It was mom. Now, right now, this week, we got the 100 blooms for mom. And a free glass vase. $19.99. If I were you in my car right now or at work or at home, I would have thought, I wonder if he said that wrong. But I didn't. It's a huge bouquet, huge savings, great deal for you and mom. Now here's what you do. If you want to get in on this exclusive offer, it's not going to last long. In fact, midnight Friday nights, you're out of luck. So go to proflowers.com. There's a little microphone.
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Or at least I thought it was. Until my mom became a grandma herself. A crafty grandma. That's when I realized that mom was in on it all along. Now, so am I. And my daughter thinks the whole thing is just awesome. Mother's cookies. There's a memory in every bite. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why? Because as a small business owner, it's more than your job. It's what you love. and you need technology that keeps pace with your passion. That's why Verizon delivers all the wireless solutions you need to make sure your business rules. Verizon technology gives you the power to enable growth and boost productivity because only Verizon offers an arsenal of advanced devices, powerful business apps, and mobile security safeguards, all backed by unrivaled customer support and the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. More small businesses choose Verizon Wireless than any other wireless carrier because they know.
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This report, it's brought to you by Sig Alert. Rush hour is brutal going in, coming home. So before you get on the road, log on to sigalert.com, track your commute, see the exact speeds along the way. That's sigalert.com. Well, we have a problem here on the 5 northbound Genesee Avenue. It's an accident. Two cars on the right shoulder, another car partially blocking the roadway right now. And the 5 northbound before La Costa Avenue, a disabled car, this one in the center divider. Watch out, somebody walking around the freeway on the 15 southbound Claremont Mesa Boulevard seems to be headed in that center divider. This report also brought to you by McDonald's. It's back now. You can quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks only. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
Looking at waist, chest, shoulder high weighs on average, top spots head high, maybe even a rear plus on top of that. Again, pretty much a fumbled mix of swells, though. Not real clean. Beach breaks are the most likely place to find a pop-up corner here and there. A lot of work, though, is tight interval swells, so you're going to have to really do some paddling to get out there beyond it and pick off anything that's really looking rideable. Reef breaks have some pop-up peaks as well, but really nothing of any real length of ride, at least at this particular time. Conditions looking pretty clean, though, with sunny skies and some light offshores for the first time in quite a while. So things are definitely looking a bit better. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. For all your surfboard repair needs, you go see Joe Roper. This surf report can only be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Just one day, if I could be Tom Brady. Lauren. I like you. Yeah, why not? You like the arm kit? Yeah, it's manly. Woods. I love the breasts. Zienna. Your confidence is a classic. And Jay. Yeah, I shaved my legs one time. On FM 94.9. Affleck fired Gilbert Godfrey. Ben Affleck? Nope. Affleck. Affleck. And they were looking for a new voice. They were letting anybody in the public audition. They found their person. We'll play it for you. Tell you who it is.
Operation Street Impact. I have never been more excited about something. You know, and part of the reason that I'm excited is because it means that once it happens, we can start to give these stickers to our friends and family who want them now. And we can even put them on our cars. And we can, because I'm telling you, even I want to put it on my car. I tried to, and Mikey rebuked me. He said that that would not be fair to the M1s. Well, they'd flip. They'd get... people would get upset if they saw it on any cars. And trust me, bro, I want to do it too. I want to. I want to. I've never wanted to. This sticker, I really love it. Well, you can't, but the rest of us can. Yeah. He can. He can. He's supporting his show. Yeah, but that's ridiculous. Letting more people know about it. If somebody is a listener and they see it on a car, aren't they going to be upset? Yeah, but you don't see Orlando Hudson wearing his O-Dog jersey out to dinner. You guys are talking about two different things. Oh, you were talking about two. You're saying I cannot put it on my vehicle. Yes. You being Mikey. That's what I'm talking about. But no one knows it's me. I think it's fine. Yeah. He's proud of it. They know it's Orlando Hudson. They wouldn't know it's me. If Orlando Hudson had the new Orlando Hudson bumper sticker on his car, he's pretty much anonymous. What about the athlete that gets his name and his number as his personalized vanity plate?
What about the athlete that puts the kid on a bat? I didn't do that. I didn't. Junior Seau had his last name and his license plate. He did? Yeah. Well, at least I know in his wife's car. Seau 55? Yep. Se... I don't want to say it. You're not supposed to do that. No. It always bothers me when I see bands that have their own t-shirt on, too. Really? So I pictured the other day of Slayer. And they were wearing Slayer t-shirts at the Big Four concert. I was like, you're in the band. You don't have to rep your shirt. I don't know why. What if it's cool? I agree, though. So I shouldn't? Do you agree? No, I think you can put the sticker on. But it's not like you're going to be walking around wearing, well, I guess you can wear a Mikey Show t-shirt. Man, there's some rules involved. Boy, what if I got a woodsy license plate? You guys would rip me in half. Oh, heck yeah. In half. Yes, because the license plate. Nobody would get a license plate that said Woodsy unless they were Woodsy. It's not like Mike's wearing a shirt that's like, yep, I'm Mikey. I did have a license plate at one time that said Rock Jock. R-O-Q. J-O-K. You know how long it stayed on there? Hopefully an afternoon. About a month. And then a girl shamed you out of it? Yes. I don't blame her. Nor do I. Me neither. Rock Jock. I said, I walked into the studio.
And I said to Shannon Leder, hey, you want to see my new license plate? Because we had a window in the studio. And she goes, yeah. And she goes, where is it? I go, right here. You can see it. She goes, it better not be like one of those ones that says I'm a DJ. And she was kidding. She never in a million years thought that it actually would. Who would actually be that lame? Did your heart sink when she said that? Oh, yeah. Like I wanted to puke. Came right off. I went down to the DMV and I got a new license plate immediately. You should have told someone your idea to do that. Someone would have talked you out of it. Yeah. Guys, guess what I'm going to do? I'm going to get 94.9 Woodsy. Oh, my gosh. You guys would. I would be half. You would cut me in half. Oh, yeah. Be legs over here, torso over here. We'd actually rip you apart. Rip me apart. Well, just understand the psychology. I wish you did do that. I'm going to do it. The psychology at the time was is that. I'd been Michael Shannon up until that point. I'd played Celine Dion records. And I was finally working as a running chalk. I was so happy. And I just, and boy, that was the stupidest thing I ever did. M1 Surf Daddy from Dana Point. What was the word of the day? Spaghetti. That's hot. Thank you. He's been winning left and right, this Surf Daddy. Did he win yesterday?
I am on a roll, buddy. That's fine with me. Oh, wow. As long as the station allows, it's fine with me. Hey, you can't win if you don't play. That's right. Yeah, that's true. Hang on the line, please. Hang on the line. The new Mikey Show sticker, you can see it at MikeyShow.com. And it's shaped like an octagon. It says, The Mikey Show Mornings FM 94.9. And... You will be proud to put this sucker on your car. It's going to be out at Qualcomm Stadium May 14th. We will all be there. Rain or shine. Hopefully it's shine. But if it's raining, we'll be there. We're going to have food. We're going to be putting those stickers on cars. And we're going to be giving you an envelope. Everybody that comes through gets a little something. Anything from energy drinks to pretzel chips to all kinds of prizes. But somebody is going to win a surround sound system from tried and true. home theater and security. Somebody's going to win a pair of mountain bikes from Haro and somebody is going to win a $24,000 blacked out FXDB Harley Davidson from Harley Davidson, San Diego Harley Davidson. Just amazing. And by the way, you go down to San Diego Harley and qualify to win FM 94.9 Independence Jam tickets and see the bike. So we want you to go down to San Diego Harley Davidson and take a look at that.
So, Woodsy had mentioned this, that, man, that audio of the woman getting the tattoo in the deep, deep south was funny. She just has a low tolerance for pain and was getting a tattoo. He hasn't started, by the way. He has not begun. Next time you move, you're going to mess up your tattoo. Okay, okay, okay. Tony. Are you okay? You haven't even started yet? Easy. Easy. Easy. Go lightly. Oh, boy. Why you got such a hard hand? Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. I love it. Hang on. I said ouch. Owie. What's wrong with you? Ow. You got just a little more time to communicate. Oh, my gosh.
Don't worry, in about an hour we'll be done. Yeah. You have the video or just the audio? The video is perfect. Where are they giving you the test? Where? Lower, like tramp stamp? She has her shirt off. Like my flaming softball? Yes. Shoulder? Upper. No, the good news is she wants an entire eagle to stand. Her back. Holding a rat. Yeah. It's only going to take about three hours. And in the rat's mouth, a big, long banner that says, In God We Trust. With a Confederate flag behind it. With a Confederate flag. I cannot. It hurts. It hurts. Poor guy trying to do the tattoo. Have you ever got one? Okay. That's fine, but I'm telling you. With some scribble on your back. Okay. I got it on video that, you know, you don't want to act right. Don't move anymore. Oh. Oh. I'm so embarrassed for her. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Does it really hurt to get one? Yeah, it hurts, but not that bad. Not like that. That's like childbirth. I know. I'm like, I wonder if she's ever had kids. Can you imagine? No. Holy. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Give me an epidural. Ma'am, we can't wait. He's coming out. Ma'am, you are about to pop. No. I need you to call a doctor. Okay, ready? And bring an epidural. Ready? Push. I need to push. Wait. Hang on. Let's wait. Let's discuss it. I need one more push. All right, go ahead. Ready? Push. Ouch. Ouch. Wait. Wait. Wait. Tell the baby to hold on. Wait a minute. Ma'am, it's very bad for the baby. Hang on. Let's talk. Let's talk. Let's talk. It's breaching. It's breaching. Ma'am. Ma'am. It's going to crown. It's killing me. Oh, he's crowning. I can see him. Hang on. I can see him. Oh, my gosh. I can't push. I can't push. Wait. Wait. I passed down. Ouch! Tell the baby to stop it! Little Owen, don't! Ouch! You little bastards! Literally. Ouch! Holy crap. I've heard friends and they're going, it's okay. He hasn't even started yet. Wait, you're saying stop, but I mean, the whole idea is that I don't stop and then you get the tattoo. Right. Yeah, but don't do it!
Did she say something bad? He did. You're effing your tattoo. Oh, my God. Yeah, I didn't know that. Mike, push the button. Dang it. Dang it. You just cursed. How many Budweiser did she drink on the way there? Oh, you know it. While she's there. Yeah. Out of a straw. Holy cow. It really hurts. Hip it. Hip it. Hip it. What? All right, so let me play for you the new voice of the Affleck Duck. Now, let me tell you who it is, by the way. Turns out it's a sales guy, a sales manager at a radio station in Minneapolis. KQRS. KQRS. Minneapolis. Garrett. Oh. 36-year-old father of three. His name is Daniel McKeague. Oh, was it Daniel McKeague? I fired him. Yeah. Then I hired him back. Then I fired him. You know him, Garrett? Yeah, Garrett. It's Daniel McKeague. He's a good guy. Used to imitate a duck all the time. So here's this guy. Garrett. The new voice of the Affleck duck. Affleck! What the heck? That's right. That's right. He's doing an imitation.
Of Gilbert Gottfried. Which is what they said not to do. They specifically said not to. And it's what they picked. He beat out over 12,500 contestants. I know what they were doing. I'm annoyed. Are you sure? They wanted to replace Gilbert Gottfried. Yeah. And they wanted it to, they can't like change their branding. Everybody associates AFAC with AFAC. They're like, if we have this contest. Then we'll get all this publicity and hype around it. But all along, they wanted it to sound like that. It's brilliant. Well, why not say that? Because they probably thought that the videos would go viral. Like, look at this funny one. Look at this one. It's brilliant. How much do people talk about Affleck in the search for the new dog? I mean, dude, you can't put a price on the amount of free advertising those guys got. People probably emailing, look at my brother doing the Affleck commercial. It turns out.
They just went to the same exact thing. I knew that guy would amount to something. We used to make fun of him around the office. He was doing this duck voice. He did it so loud in my office I fired his ass one time. Then I called him back later. I hired him. You did, Gary? Dempsey loved him. I said, Dad. Your son? Yeah, my son Dempsey said, Dad, you can't fire McKay Q. McKay Q is great. I have a feeling that's not how his name is. The guy knows muse. That's right. And I said, hey, McKay Q, give me your duck and go out flack. I go, oh, that's great. Let's go out sushi. Go out. We sit at the all you can eat. McKay Q be sitting there doing his duck flack. McKay Q. McKay Q. Hey, McAQ, I'm sorry for firing you yesterday. Come on back. Come on back. 3% raise. Fired him, hired him. Fired him, hired him. Fired him, hired him. Mews. Just like Tommy. I'll tell you about Tommy. Tommy, I hired and then fired and then hired and fired and then hired him and fired him.
Now he's doing afternoons here at FM 94.9. I'm probably going to fire him again, but I'm going to call him back tomorrow. I'm going to rehire him. Sometimes, just for fun, I fire him, hire him back. Garrett's listening right now, shaking his head, going, I never fired him. I've never fired Tommy. He's never fired him. He left on his own. Left on his own, then I hired him back. Sure came back, though, right? That's right. I hired him. He got fired the day after I got fired. Oh, my God. We love you, Garrett. We love you, Garrett. Garrett! Garrett! Hey, Tommy, where you going? Come back. Thanks, buddy. Where you going? Keep leaving. Coming back. Tommy! Tommy! Tommy, come back. Don't leave again. You keep leaving. Tommy! There you are, you daffy son of a bee. Son of a bee. Don't leave again. Oh! All right, now I'm at KBZT. Sandy, I knew it. There you are. Yeah, that gets you back. Yeah, where you going? You'll be back. Every time. Look at you. Like the Aflac guy. Like McKayQ. Seven years later, found out I was pronouncing his name wrong. McKayQ.
I kept calling him McKay-Q. Turned out it was McKay-Q. Turns out it was Miller. That's right. Hey, Miller, why didn't you tell me? I called him McKay-Q for five years. I thought it was a nickname. I didn't know. So I said, hey, McKay-Q. Tommy, where are you going? He's back. Anyway, McKay-Q. Tommy! Came out. Came back one day. I said, hey. Hang on a second. My friend Tommy just came back. Oh, he left again. Come back, Tommy. Come on back. We're going to play this game, huh? You're out of here, huh? He's going to come running in here. Now you're back. Now you're back. Now you're back. Now you left. Now you're back. Don't want it. Don't need to want it. Oh, wow. Oh, well. Let's see. Oh, yeah. Gilbert Gottfried commented on it too. So he was on, I don't know what show. He was on some show. The View. He was on The View. The Git. He was on The Git. And he was talking about getting fired as the Affleck Duck. You know, for the past 10 years, you were the voice of the Affleck Duck, but you got fired. You don't say. Because you made some jokes about the tsunami in Japan. If you haven't been watching the news. If you were watching the news and us, because this was one of our hot... Come on, just...
Talk normal. Yes. Come on. Do you think that some of your jokes were inappropriate? Well, this is, see, it's funny. And I'm glad that you said jokes because most of the media picked it up like saying comments and remarks. And when you say comments and remarks, it gives it more weight. You know, it's getting to the point where you can't even make fun of dead Japanese people from a tsunami. Nowadays, when a natural disaster happens, you can't even joke about it. What is this world coming to? I mean, remember back in 1940-something when they dropped the bomb? If I was there, I would have made a joke. But I wasn't. If I were Jay, I would have said, you are the bomb. That's right. You're the bomb. You're the man. You're the bomb. Even a hundred years later, that's funny. I don't care who you are. Saddam Hussein? Funny. You say, oh, a guy made terrible jokes. And then you go, well, he's a comedian. And then they go, but yeah, but they were tasteless. And they go, well, he's Gilbert Gottfried. When has he ever made a tasteful remark? And so that was one of the things. That guy's ever squeezed his eyes shut. Then they say, when was I ever funny?
Any guy ever squeezes his eyes when he delivers a joke? What's he like on a date? Hey, she'll have the steak and I'll take the chicken. She's like, I gotta go. Oh my gosh. I'll sleep with you once because you're famous, but other than that, I gotta go. Does he ever take a break, you think? He's always on. He wakes up, he's like... Now I lay me down to sleep. It's one thing. It's one thing. The itsy bitsy spider. Yeah, let me... It's my child. The itsy bitsy spider. Twinkle, twinkle. Let out, stop. Hoppy Dumpty sat on a wall. Happy birthday to you. A, B, C, D, E, F, J. Oh, my gosh. It'd be one thing if Stephen Wright was always on, but for Gilbert Gottfried to be always on, that's an annoying thing. Oh, what a headache. There he goes again. Bye, Tommy. Tommy.
You want to play buzzword? Yeah. 5701949 if you want to play buzzword. The idea is that you pick me, Sienna, Woods, or L.O.B. to represent you. Ella B's good at this. Oh, she's so good. She wins every time. I bet she wins this time. Every time. Jay, what's the word? I don't remember the last time I won. What's the word? I guarantee a win on Ella B's part. No. I guarantee it. Tell me what the word. What's the word, Jay? So Jay tells us the word and then he gives us these hints and we got to yell out the phrase. So 570-1949. I will change my ways. I'll know my name. As it's cold again. How's our chance? Let's do it! More from the Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. M94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Latillery with some shows for you to go check out. This Saturday night, you can see Mud Honey at the Cow's Bar. And next week, FM 94.9 presents...
TV on the radio at 4th and B. The show is May 2nd and is still happening. Ghostland Observatory play 4th and B May 6th. System of the Downs at Cricket Wireless May 21st. And on June 1st, Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra hit SOMA. June 5th is the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion with Cold War Kids and Leaky Lee, Peter Bjorn and John, Band of Skulls, Everest, Crocodiles, Surfer Blood, The Soft Pack, Heavy Hawaii. and The Silent Comedy. Tickets are on sale now for that. Independencejam.com. June 16th, FM 94.9 presents Matt and Kim with The Thermals at House of Blues. A Perfect Circle hit the open air theater July 26th. And on August 19th, 311 and Sublime with Rome will play Cricket Wireless. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light concert calendar can be heard four times daily. When car makers brag that their car is new, do they mean it's better or just new? The new 2011 Chrysler Town & Country is better and new. New, more luxurious interior. New, more powerful 283-horse engine. Plus, during minivan month, get our exclusive 60-day pledge. Love it or return it. So what's not new?
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For showtimes or to buy your fun card, visit SeaWorld.com slash Viva. Concert seating is limited. Entertainment subject to change without notice. Event included with park admission. Restrictions apply. Powerful gathers on the horizon. You can sense a change in the air. You can feel the power sweeping toward you. The tingle on your scalp. The pounding in your chest. And then... Introducing the Thunderbolt by HTC. The first phone strong enough to run on Verizon 4G LTE. The fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. The Thunderbolt by HTC is crackling with powerful features, like an Android OS, an 8-megapixel camera, and video calling. Plus, it packs a lightning-fast HTML browser with Adobe Flash. Immense power. Scorching speed. That's the new Thunderbolt by HTC. Electrified by Verizon 4G LTE. Visit any Verizon store today, verizonwireless.com, or call 1-800-256-4646. Plus, trade in any phone from any carrier online, and you may be eligible for a Verizon Wireless gift card. Rule the air.
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Right shoulder, a tow truck still blocking that right lane, and traffic is very slow from Balboa. This report brought to you by TheLendingTree.com. LendingTree refinance customers. They save an average of $293 a month. Call 1-800-555-TREE. Find out how much you could save. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I've got tattoos. I'm Mexican. I'm short and I'm bald. Lauren. There is a thought bubble over my head right now. It would be empty. Woods. My wife hates when I pick my nose. I get knuckle thieves. Sienna. The only time I'll eat spinach is if it's in artichoke dip. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him. Then I'm going to break his legs. On FM 94.9. In just a moment. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, the Otai Mesa Port of Entry has just added a new tool to try and reduce the traffic, and it's called the Ready Lane. This is starting on Monday. It's a vehicle lane which is reserved for travelers carrying certain types of passports that contain radio frequency identification technology, meaning...
faster screening and processing of travelers. So you have to have certain documentation to go through this line. The sentry card, a U.S. passport card, not like the traditional passport booklet. So if you're interested in that, look into it. The ready lane. Sounds pretty cool. Yeah, it does. Also, a man was accused of firing on reality TV show film crews. This happened in Las Vegas, and the police just identified a 40-year-old man yesterday who they think opened fire on the crew to repo games. Have you ever heard of the show? Well, apparently they repossessed vehicles, and the man was living next door to a home where one of the vehicles was being repossessed on the show, and they were making too much noise, so he came down yelling at him, had a gun. Yeah, no one was hurt, luckily, but he was arrested. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, several players did show up at the Chargers headquarters yesterday, Chargers Park. Phillip Rivers, Antonio Gates, and Jacob Hester were all there, but they just went in and kind of shot the breeze with Dean Spanos and Norv Turner. How's the kids? Good. My wife? Good. Have you been seeing good movies lately? Anything we can do? Do you guys need us to, like, file stuff? We can, like, help.
I mean, we're here. You know, we got to move a coffee machine out of the break room if you guys don't have anything going on. I don't. I mean, I'm Phillip Rivers, an all-pro quarterback. You want me to lay in that with you? If you can, it'd be great. And then afterwards, maybe we go to Togo's. Yeah, I was thinking Denny's. You can go to Denny's if you want to get the bacon all you. I want bacon all you, Denny's. It's good. It's real good right now. I heard they got flapjacks that have bacon in it. Delicious. I tried it yesterday, and it's really, really good. You have it yesterday. You want to go back again? I'll go. I don't have a problem with it. You driving? Jacob, why don't you drive today? All right. And, you know, Steelers safety Ryan Clark reported to Steelers camp yesterday and basically said there wasn't a lot to do. Cut three. Guys are going to come down and do what they can. We can't make them allow us to do everything that we want to do. So, you know, you come in, and we fought to come into the building. I know I can't get a workout here, so I'm going to try to go grab one and come back and talk to Cronel Lake. Walt Gingo. All right. Cool. Give me a shout when we're ready to get back to business. It's a fake season. Fake season. Also, really quickly, Albert Hainsworth is kind of a load. He's been indicted for sexual assault on a female. Apparently what he did is he took his credit card, a waitress.
Slid it right down the front of her dress and fondled her breast in the process. And I'm fondling mine as we speak. And, yeah, so he's been indicted. The guy had a rough year, man. He had a lot of on-the-field problems with his coach, Mike Shanahan. Had a lot of problems off the field. He's in right now. I believe he's in three separate lawsuits. A road rage incident. Another. Oh, a complaint from his ex-wife. He wasn't paying for her insurance or their children's bills. And then he also injured a man in an automobile accident. So he is just kind of a turd. That's awful. He's just a turd. That's awful. You know, he's... Well... All that talent. All that money. Let's do some buzzword. What's the word? What's the word? Jay, what's the word? Wait a minute. First, we got to select our peoples here. M1, Ian from IB, are you there? Yes, sir. Who would you like? My boy, Woodby. All right, hang on. Hang on. M1 Rick from Escondido. Who do you want? I would take Lauren. Yeah. That's a good one. That's my boy. Who's Lauren? M1 Robin from Mira Mesa. Who do you want? I got you, Mikey. You got it. Oh, boy. Let's see you. M1 Noob. I would pick Sienna. Lucky. You are lucky. You're lucky. I think she's going to do great today. Thank you for picking me.
All right. What's the word? Why haven't you given us the word? Stay away from me. Left the studio and asked him what the word is. What is it? The word is show. Show! S-H-O-W. How appropriate. Not the show, but show. Let's do this. Here we go. Rob the attention of the audience. Steal the show! Oh, wow. Jugs flying everywhere. Take that. Jugs flying everywhere. They were all over the place. Wow. They didn't even move. They did. Maybe a little. Train the new trapeze artist. Show them the ropes. Wow. Say it, Woods. A little bit of like a pun in there. All right. A duel or competition. A show off. Wow. Mikey. Woo. Whoa. Mike Woods, he had a one. I was calling you a show off. That's what I was saying.
Bring it to school until the class... I'm going to give it to these two. What two? You and Woods. Yes. Never complain. Oh, my gosh. He's such a sore loser. He is. Come on. Are you ready? Here we go. To display goods for sale like in a window. Show me the money. For sale. Showcase. Showcase. I don't know why I said for sale. Who is it? Mikey got it? Yeah. Okay. Mikey, Woods, Sienna, both have... I'll have two. Whoa. Lauren. We jinxed her. We finally did it. Here we go. One who loves in the spotlight. Show off! Give it to those two. Lauren and Woods get a point. Woods just did a thrust. I did a fist pump. Here we go. Let's move the circus to the next town. Start the show. Put the show on the road. Lauren. Let's take the show on the road.
Lauren got it. Lauren's back in the hunt. I can't see. Mikey, Lauren, Sienna, two, Woods, three. Here we go. Let's Make a Deal airs on this channel. The Game Show Network. Lauren. Showtime, Mike? Really? That's a good guess. Mike, you're telling me. Game shows on Showtime? I get it. The Movie Network Showtime. Our mouths move before our brains. Yes. Yes. Go ahead. Beat yourself up. Here we go. A particularly arresting person or thing. Showstopper. Mikey, Lauren, and Woods, three. Sienna, two. Shouted catchphrase from Jerry Maguire. Show me the money! Lauren just got so excited. That she hopped up on all fours onto her seat. We've got a new word. Let's do it. What is it? What's the word? Today's new word. Show me the word. Is word. What? The word is word. Word. Word is bond. Okay. Keep it quiet. Don't tell. Mom's the word. What did you say? Mom's the word. I think she said mom is the word. Oh, shut up. Oh, boy. Lauren has five.
She's winning. Mom is the word. How did she do that? I didn't say mom is the word. How did she do it? Mom is the word. She didn't have anything. She came back and she's leaving. Here we go. What's the word? Word. Word is the word. Word? Cameo song. Word up! Mikey. Word up. It's the code word. Lauren 5, Mikey 4, Woods 3, Sienna 2. I promise. Keep my word! Word of mouth! I keep my word. Man of your word. I'll allow it. I give my word. I don't know what comes out of my mouth. I didn't know. I promise was the clue. I thought he was going to say something. Wait, so is that Woods? Yeah. Yeah, it was Woods. I thought he was going to be like, I promise that I didn't write this. And I was like, okay. You thought it was a free gamble. You're like, get to the ring. What's your score? Mikey Woods, four. Lauren, five. Sienna, two. Okay. We're just going to say that this is a two-pointer and be done with it. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. Quoted exactly verbatim. Word for word! Okay, we have to have a break, a tie. Why? We both got two and I win. Oh, it's true, yeah. There you go. Lauren's a big wiener. Lauren's a big wiener. How did you do that? Look at that. I don't like this hot dance. Strangest dance I've ever seen. Strangest dance I've ever seen. This is the strangest dance I've ever seen. It's like an elephant.
Let's do it. M1 Rick. Yep. LLB did it for you. Good job. You know, thank you. Hang on the line. It's almost like you toy with us. Yeah. You had nothing. You had nothing. My brain was just like, the gears were kind of clicking into motion. I haven't had any caffeine today, so. I would love to know what that is that allows that. I was talking about that the other day, how interesting the brain is. You know, my son, Jake, he won't eat anything. It's one of it's one of the high functioning autistic traits. By the way, did we tell you we had a doctor come to the house? Doctor made a house call, came to the house and Jake was really cute and he was talking to him and he said, what's your name? And the doctor said, I'm Dr. So-and-so. I think it was Dr. Howard. And he said, hi, Dr. Howard. Can you make me better yet? And it was real cute and everything. And anyway, the guy, Jake wants to try all of his stethoscopes and he wants to do all this. And Rebecca told him that he had high-functioning autism. The doctor couldn't believe it. He said, are you sure that it isn't Asperger's? And Rebecca said, no, it's autism. He goes, he didn't seem like it.
Which is so encouraging. But anyway, the way the brain works, he won't eat food because it grosses him out. It actually makes him gag. They're working on that with him and everything. But the kid will touch and pick up snails like you wouldn't believe it. He's fascinated right now with snails. He'll find snails in the yard. He picks them up and he's touching them and they're disgusting. They're filthy. One of the things with trying to get him to eat food... is first we try to get him to touch the food. He doesn't even want to touch it. It grosses him out. And I said to Rebecca last night, I go, that kid won't eat a brownie, but he'll touch the hell out of snails. Maybe feed him snails. Yeah, she said he'd eat a snail. He'd eat escargot. Yeah, he'd eat a snail before he'd eat a...
piece of cake. It's probably just the thought of putting it in your mouth, you know, whatever food is. He's thinking about that. That aversion. Yeah. My kids eat snails. That's right. I mean, listen, it's free-ass cargo. It's on the house. On the house. Jasper loves it. Jasper? Let's do this. Please. I think we have time. Please do what I think we're going to do. Are we going to do it? He's the old man with the poetry. Oh, yes he is. He's so good he's all the money. An actor with ability. Oh, the horn section. He blinded me with acting. But he failed to pronounce clearly. The old man that does acting. Now, Jay has been known to flub a word here or there. And that's what Jay, the older man that does acting, was born of. Because Jay occasionally will flub a word. Oh, boy. Occasionally. Now, Jay says that not only can he act, he has acted professionally. He's a great actor. I'm a great actor. He believes he is a great actor. And so what we do is we give him a script and we go for it. Today, we will be doing a scene from the film that a lot of guys like. Oh, yeah. Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. Never seen it. Now, that doesn't surprise me. It's going to hurt you. This is the scene that Alec Baldwin made famous.
playing the character Blake, which is the character that Jay is furiously reading his script. Yeah, he's cramming. He's reading his script. Giant smile on his face. Oh, my God. There's pages and pages. So he's going to play the role of Alec Baldwin. Who's going to be Williamson? That's L.O.B. L.O.B. will be Williamson. That role was made famous by Kevin Spacey. Woodsy, you will be Levine. Jack Lemmon. Jack Lemmon's character. And I will play Moss, played by Ed Harris. Yes. I'm going to be Moss. Can I play David Mamet for one second, the director of this film? Sure. Jay, what we're looking for in this scene is, you're a real, you're a hard ass. And you have to deliver these lines quickly. You're giving him time to read it. Stop reading! Hey, listen. You're also a very rich, snobby. Yeah. I can relate to that. Yes. Get in character, and we want these lines delivered with,
Fervor. Very rich, snobby, smart A that doesn't care about people. All you care about is numbers. Money. Production and money. So we're for Clear Channel. Oh, wow. That's freaking brilliant. Holy cow. Holy cow. I can't see the Lenny Bruce over there. Wow. Wow. It's funny because it's true. Are you ready? I feel ready. Here we go. All right. Let me have your attention for a moment. So you're talking about what? You're talking about bitching about a sale you shot. Some SOB that doesn't want to buy something. Somebody that doesn't want what you're selling. Some broad you're trying to make love to and so forth. Let's talk about something important. Are they all here? All but one. Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important. Put that coffee down. Coffee's for closers. Do you think I'm messing with you?
I'm not messing with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Levine? Yeah. You call yourself a salesman, you SOB? I don't have to listen to this crap. You certainly don't, pal. Because the news is you're fired. Wait, that's the news? Because the good news is you're fired. The good news is I'm fired. The bad news is you got all you got. Just one week to regain your job. I don't know what's going on here. It's okay, sir. Please. Keep going. Go ahead. The bad news is you got all you got just one week to regain your job starting tonight. Excuse me, sir. To retain my job or to regain my job? Regain. Because retain it means I keep it. Oh, yeah. Regain your job. Got it. Thank you. Thank you. Starting tonight, sit. What? Starting with tonight, sit. What is it? That's what it says. Oh, that's what it is. Sit is where you meet somebody. Tonight, sit.
Starting tonight, sit. Starting tonight, sit. It seemed like there'd be a... No, I got you. Keep going. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good, because we're adding a little something to your month's sales contest. As you all know... It's actually this month's sales contest, sir. As all you know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is your fires. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got leads? Mitch and Murray pay good money. Get their names to sell them. Get their names to sell them. You can't close the leads you're given, and you can't close crap. You are crap. Hit the bricks, pal. Beat it, because you're going out. The leads are weak. The leads are weak? Freaking leads are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business for 15 years. What's your name? Beast. That's my name. You know why, mister? Because you drove a Hyundai in here tonight. I drove an $80,000 BMW. That's my name. I guess there's nobody going to say to Levine. No, that's where you're supposed to read to me. You're now speaking to Levine. Your name is you're wanting. And your name is you're wanting. And you can't play it. It's a man's game. You can't close them. And you can go home and tell your wife your troubles.
Because only one thing counts in life. Get them in and sign it on the line, which is dotted. You hear me? You little queens. This is very complicated. ABCs. Always be closing. Always be closing. Always be closing. AIDA. Attention, interest, decisions, actions. Attention. Do I have your attention? Interest. Are you interested? I know you're because you... What's that, sir? I know you are because it's feast or walk. I wonder where you got that. Feast. You close or hit the bricks. Decisions. Have you made your decisions for Christ? I guess there's a word in there that I probably couldn't say. No, that's right. Really? Yeah. And action. A-I-D-A. Get out there. You got prospects coming in? You think they came in to get in and out of the rain? Guys, don't walk in. Oh, my God.
You got this, Jay. Guys don't walk a lot. At least he wants to buy. Let's sit out there waiting to get their money. Are you going to take it? Are you the man enough to take it? Are you the man enough? I'm the man. What's the problem, pal? You, Moss. You're such a hero. You're so rich. Why are you coming down here to waste our time? That's a bunch of bums. You see this watch? You see this watch? That was cost more than your car. I made... $970,000. $970,000 last year. How much do you make? Are you counting it, sir? You see, pal? That's who I am. You ain't nothing. Oh, wow. I make it up right now. Nice guy. Nice guy. Where are we? Uh-oh. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. Wrap it up. Wrap it up. I don't give a crap, good father. Feast. Go home. Play with your kids. You want to work here? Close. I'm not a priest. You called me good father. I don't know what that is. Oh, my God.
There's a question. Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the old man that does acting. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. He just tore his script up and threw it in the air. He made it rain. Our phone screener, Chris, looks so confused. Oh, I am confused. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That was painful. Do people ever mistake you for the opposite sex on the phone? If they do. Call us. 570-1949. It's the trust tree. Don't be scared. If you're a guy and people often go, yes, ma'am. Don't be afraid. Call us. If you're a guy and people say, sir, on mistake. Because they mistake you for a man. 570-1949. Don't be scared. Don't be scared. 570-1949. Okay.
Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. The beat is over. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. They'll hang me up to try. It's on. This is Boss Stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. Tickets are only $35 with no additional fees. $1 of every ticket sold will go to the About the Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at independencejam.com or at fm949sd.com. Civil Invasion, presented by Miller Lite, Sunday, June 5th. Things come to those who wait.
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to Carfax.com. Big metal pipe causing some issues here on the 5 southbound at the 52. It's in the left lane. Also, the 805 northbound Claremont Mesa Boulevard, an accident there. A couple cars involved. Some slowing on the 805 northbound between Market Street and Claremont Mesa Boulevard. And then again on the 56 westbound between Carmel Valley Road and Carmel Creek Road. We're also seeing some slowing. This report brought to you by the San Diego Convention and Visitors Bureau. Explore local flavors and delicious brews at the third annual Taste of... La Mesa on May 16th. Get all the details at sandiego.org slash East County. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If being nude at your home is a nudist, I'm a nudist. Lauren. I did a lot of reading last night. Weird. Woods. I am the grill master. I can grill anything. Sienna. I'm not the neatest person in my house. Todd's definitely more neat than I am, but I wouldn't say I'm a slob. I'll come over and help you cut a trench of concrete on FM 94.9. All right, so the question is, do you get mistaken for being the opposite sex? Meaning your voice. On the telephone, yeah, yeah, yeah. On the telephone. Meaning people think you're a man if you're a woman. People think you're a woman if you're a man. In fact, when I go to the line, all I'm going to say is the city they're from. So I'll say M1 Carlsbad, M1 San Diego.
We'll hear what they sound like. We'll do it that way. And call us. And in fact, what prize can we give, Jay? I'm sure we have something that we can give them. We have a pair. We can send them to see Kid Rock and Cheryl Crow. All right. So it's a trust tree. Don't be scared. We're all friends. And we just want to hear you. And the best one, we'll give you something. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. Material issue. Garrett. And it's International Pop Overthrow. That is a good one. It is a good one. It is a good one. It's a good band. Underrate. Hey, man, our Independence Jam at Oceanside Amphitheater. It's going to be pretty awesome. Cold War Kids, Leaky Lee, Peter Bune and John, Band of Skulls, Everest on the main stage. It's going to be a fun night. I can't wait. Yep. Tickets are on sale.
And it's going to be great, man. It's great every year. I talked to Garrett. They're going fast. They are going fast. He says it's going to sell out. Yeah, they had a big surge, so make that right. I believe it. 570-1949. I will just say M1 San Diego. Are you there? Yeah. Hi. How are you, M1 San Diego? I'm doing great. Driving my girlfriend to work. Stuck in traffic. You get mistaken for a girl? I do often, actually. I hoped when I was 14 that it would change eventually, and it just didn't. How old are you? I'm about to be 20 next month. You're going to be 20? Yes. Now, even to this day, what is it, like a telemarketer thing? Telemarketers call, and they say, hi, ma'am, can I speak to your... Yeah, it's anything. It's like ordering a pizza, just calling general information. They address me as ma'am. Yeah, I can kind of see how you might be an older woman. Are they deaf guys? No, maybe if I called you and you said your name was Helen and that you were 57. Hello, dear. This is Helen. She's 57 years old. Hi, Helen. How are you? I'm doing great. How are you, Mikey? I'm good. I'm good. Hey, listen, I understand that your kids have just gone to college. Is that correct? Yeah, I'm so proud of them. And it's kind of tough because you're finding yourself as a mom at home for the first time, right? Empty nest. Yeah, it's the empty nest.
Empty nest syndrome. I got it now. I can see it. I don't think he sounds like a girl. I can see it a little bit. He doesn't sound like a girl. He sounds like an older woman. Like a woman. Yeah. Yeah. He sounds like an older woman. Hang on the line, please. Hang on the line. His girlfriend's mortified right now. He's like, don't call. He's like, yeah, I hope you win. M1 Carlsbad, are you there? What up, Mikey Show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. I can see it. Sir, can I ask you a couple of questions? Of course. Are you married? Unfortunately, no. Okay. Do you have a significant other? I do. Okay. Does he have a tramp stamp? Okay. Oh, boy. Woods. Does Willy Wonka know you've escaped from the factory? What does that mean? What does that mean, Woods? Cricket, cricket, cricket. What does that obscure reference mean? It's Willy Wonka. He sounds like an Oompa Loompa. Does he have a tramp stamp? Sorry. I think you are the winner. I think you're our winner. Absolutely. Hang on the line. That's M1 Lizzy. Hang on the line. I love you. She does have a deep voice. I never even noticed it. Until I listened for it. Until that. Now this one's a little bit different. M1 Fizzle, he gets mistaken too, but not for gender. Is that right?
Yeah. You get mistaken all the time, though, right? I get mistaken for sounding white. You get mistaken for sounding white. Yes. Say what up, black people. What is your actual, you know, ethnicity? What do you think it is? Chinese. Black. Hello, Bree. Yeah. Reach for the sky, honky. Yeah. I take it black. Like my man. I'm Rick James. Well. They say more things. Yeah, talk more. Now, wait a minute. How do you get mistaken for white? I mean, do people go, well, sir, you're sounding mighty white today. Hey, Whitey. Hey, Eminem. Yeah, how do you get mistaken for being white? I've gotten mistaken for, you know, like talking to a girl online or something, then you finally call them up and they go, I thought you were black. I go, I am black. You don't sound black. You're like, sorry. Yeah, sorry. I don't want to be this young, but I am black. Yeah, you're having to convince him. I promise you I'm black. I think it's my manners because I kind of use a lot of, you know, I don't talk as language as a black guy, you know, trying to be black on the phone, have a phone voice. It comes out sounding white. There you go. There you go. It sounds fabulous.
Yeah, LOP's got a big smile. Thank you, thank you. Question. Yes. When you say online, what are we talking about? Anything from like Yahoo, Facebook. Like if I talk to someone online and then I call them if I haven't talked before or somebody I've met, you know, Yahoo. Like a lot of people I've talked to on Yahoo. What does that mean? How do you talk to somebody on Yahoo? Yahoo personal? There's a message. A lot of people... You pick that up and they message you. You kind of randomly get messages. You mean random people will message you on Yahoo Instant Message? I do. How do they know you? How do they know your name? Your account. I think that was on my email or something.
Woods is shaking his head no. Woods, tell me the truth. Probably like he's sniffing around for a little taste. I know, but how do you do that on Yahoo? Personals. Personals? Yeah, sign me up for that. Okay, LLB, fine. You don't have to scream at me. You already signed up. You know that. I kind of have a boyfriend. I'm not on Yahoo personal. Aren't you? That was gigantic. What's up, LLB? Gigantic. Oh. Wow, L.O.B. She has a hat that says Yahoo Personals on it. She's wearing it right now. I'm never going to have to shave or wax again. L.O.B., that's completely inappropriate. Don't laugh at that. That is completely inappropriate for you to say while this gentleman's on the phone. Oh, babe. L.O.B., you've got a boyfriend and his name is Matt. Your boyfriend's name is Matt. We call him your BFMC. Oh, my God. No. Don't behave. What's a big deal about that? What's a big deal? Yeah. You've known that. Watch closely as I use my lips. Oh, that's just so wrong.
Oh, stop it. Now you're just starting to embarrass everyone in the room. I didn't know we had so many LLB clips. That's awesome. Oh, now you're just going to play like you're crazy. A robot. Crazy robot. You don't even know what you're doing. Oh, my gosh. My face hurts. Well, thank you, Fizzle. It's killing me. Thank you for calling and being black. Yes. Yes. Thank you. We appreciate you. He didn't know what to say to that. You're welcome. It's incredible. So wanted to know what's going on with the online thing. He's creeping. It's fine. When you say creeping, on Facebook, it's easy to creep because there's so many strange people. Yahoo's a search engine. I think they have little groups that you can join if you're interested in the same things. You think that. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. They've tried to like... kind of stick to the AOL format a little bit. I don't know. I've seen it before. I was in a Yahoo group for, like, a bunch of people that, like, went to my college. White girls that like black guys. Yeah, that was one group. That was one group. And do they, like, have a message board? Yeah, it's like a little, like, I don't know if you call a message board or kind of like a forum. It's a live chat room sort of thing. Oh. It's been a long time.
Listen, you don't have to be so defensive about it. I understand. It's fine. I'm not accusing you of being in it last night. What you do is completely your business, L.O.B. I know they have personals, too. How do you know? One of my friends. One of your friends. No, no. Her name is Jane. One of my friends caught her boyfriend cheating that way. Oh, wow. Yeah. What did she set him up? She was going to Yahoo to the search engine on his computer, and Yahoo, this string of things came up, and it was all these people he had been talking to. Uh-oh. Like an instant message? I don't know exactly what it was, but she found out that he used to travel a lot for work, and pretty much every time he traveled for work, he went to a new city and hit up a new chicky chick. On Yahoo. On Yahoo Personals and Craigslist. Ouch. Craigslist, to me, is the seediest motel in El Paso. Okay, so there's all these seedy hotels and motels in El Paso, okay? Craigslist is the one on the side of El Paso that even crack addicts don't go to. For their personals or for everything? Everything. I know. It creeps me out. I love Craigslist. I guarantee you, if you were in your office and you were looking for
A new amplifier for your guitar and your wife walked in and you were on Craigslist and you didn't minimize. I'm sorry. I swear I was looking for a new amplifier. I have no idea what the Craigslist page even looks like. It's very simple. Yes. It's great. You're a crazy person. No, dude. I'm afraid to meet people. And a stranger comes to my house to buy my bed. Come in. I'm here for the bed. Oh, okay. You selling a bed? Yeah, I was selling it. Put it on Craigslist. Uh, my family's here. Oh. There's not really anything to worry about. Oh, see the bed, though. I just might need... You have your arm in a cast. Do you want me to help you get into your bed? Yeah. Seven. You're crazy world. Yeah. Man. I love it. It's like a local. It's the best.
You don't just like it. You love it. I love it. You'd marry it. You'd marry it. I used to be like a Craigslist. You'd form a family with Craigslist. I used to be a huge advocate. Now I'm just like, you know, I really like it. When I need stuff, I'll go to it. But I used to do like everything. What kind of stuff do you guys buy off there? I used to buy like when I first moved here. Adult toys, you know. No, it was furniture. It was like I needed a router, but I didn't want to buy like a new one. Yeah, just stuff. You go there and there's a box that says search and you type in router, San Diego. No, it's, it's, there's, it's San Diego dot Craigslist dot org. So it's like, it's all divided by a city. So you don't even have to search San Diego. San Diego has their own. I always wonder how, cause people, you always hear about people selling random things. Tickets. On Craigslist. And the thing that I always wonder about it is. How is it that somebody's looking for such a random, you know, item? Serendipity. I was looking for a kegerator a couple months ago on there. How weird. There was a bunch you could choose from. Yeah, there's tons. It's like a local eBay. Yeah. Plus an apartment search place, plus a personals place. When I was a kid. Free is the best one. Job board. Free. You can just go and search and all this stuff for free. When I was a kid on the radio, they used to do something called the trading post. And you would call the trading post.
And you would tell what item you had. And somebody would call in, and they would get your name and your address, and they'd come and they'd buy it from you. Yeah. Wow. They still have it, dude. They have it. It's called Tradio. And they do it on the radio. Isn't that a game, though? No. It's a radio show. I know because... It's a feature? Another radio show I listen to, they prank it all the time. It's a feature. It's a feature. It's like, you know, Sundays from 3 to 7 is, hey, call Tradio. When I was a kid, the trading post was where the Pony Express came by. You got your mail. Completely different. Different kind of thing. You bought fabric and things like that. M1 Che from Fallbrook makes a living with Craigslist. Is that right, Che? Yes, I do. How do you do that? Are you a John? Well, I lost my job two years ago. And I figured I had a drum set. And I said, you know what? I'm just going to put it on Craigslist, you know? And I tripled my money for what I purchased. Yeah. I bought the drum set for $200, sold it for $800. Whoa. It's quadrupled, pal. Whoa. I do the opposite. Why will people pay more? Because he got a deal. I got it off of a guy that really needed money, and it was brand new.
And I added a few things here and there from Craigslist. I bought my Jeep there. I after-marketed everything, everything I'm talking about. I got a simple Jeep, and now it's completely off-roadable and everything, lights, racks, you name it. So how do you make a living from it? What do you sell now? I buy and sell instruments. Gnarly. You ever run across a tailor, shoot me an email, all right? Yeah. There's tons of them. Make that right. You can set up an app, a Craigslist app, and if you're searching for something in particular, you can set up alerts. Straight to my phone. That's pretty cool. I need a new receiver. I got wheels and tires. I'm ready to buy new tires, and I'm looking for them in a specific size. Whenever those come up on Craigslist, I get an alert from my phone. Whoa. I need a new receiver for my house. Maybe I sniff around on there. Yeah. I'll buy things that I can actually restore, kind of like a picker deal. I work for a bicycle restoration place. I buy used bikes, old bikes, restore them, clean them up, and make money off of that. I still work right now, but, I mean, it's amazing. It's amazing what Craigslist does. Thank you, Che. We appreciate the call. You know, Sienna knew somebody with the wiener picture on Craigslist. Remember that? Yeah. Whoa. Guy, the guy's girlfriend.
All of his friends in his address book got a picture of his wiener. Including us. Well, it's a guy Todd went to middle school with on the East Coast. And he still had Todd's email address. Yes. Then spoken in 20 years. And what we were able to put together is that he was kind of fiddling around on Facebook. And his ex-wife found out about it and emailed the picture that he had emailed out to everybody. Craigslist to hook up couldn't be, it's one of those hotels with green carpet. This is what finding a sexual partner on Craigslist is. A motel in El Paso with green carpet. How much do you charge for the room? Well, it's by the hour. How much? $10 an hour. Okay. And it's green carpet. There is a window.
Air conditioner, okay? Doesn't work, though. It doesn't even turn on. It's not even plugged in. Well, I picture it running, but just no cold air. Is it really any worse than meeting somebody on AOL? Yeah. Really? I think it is. Oh, he's talking about me because that's how I met Rebecca. I met Rebecca that way like 10 years ago. Creeper. But AOL is a paid service. Oh, so it's better. So you're not getting it for free. Oh, I think of it completely different. Of course you do. I do. I don't think of Craigslist and meeting up for sex on Craigslist like two people falling in love on eHarmony. Call me crazy. Maybe they're just personal. It's like you want to meet somebody. Yeah, maybe they're sending a picture of their dong to different people in Manhattan. There's missed encounters on there. I used to check them sometimes. There's what? missed encounters, it'll be like, I saw you standing in line at the Starbucks. And I used to check on there sometimes and see if anyone out there would love me. Oh, there's people out there who love you. I love you for just saying that. I was single and I was like, anyone looking for me? Nobody ever was. You're the sweetest thing. It's so sweet.
And it's so sweet. I'm confused. We'll check it out on the break. You're confused? You posted that? No. She checked it to see if anybody said, I saw this blonde. And if you're her, I saw you at Honey's having a cup of coffee. And you were about this tall. Blue eyes. Blue eyes. Blue eyes. Blue eyes. And if that was you, if that was you, and you want a chimichanga, let's meet up. It wasn't about, no, I wasn't. I was doing it for like a blind date, not like, you know, sex. No, she wasn't doing it for sex. She was thinking romantic. I was thinking. It's romantic. Does anyone have to think about me? That's romantic. That is sweet. What is wrong with this girl? Here's a quick one. We got on the 101 bus in Oceanside and you got off in Carlsbad. You were wearing a black shirt that said dork. That's sweet to me. That's a missed encounter. It's freaking sweet.
See? Oh, it's male for male. Oh, that is sweet. Read it the right way. Emperor M. That's it. We were at... We got on the 101 bus in Oceanside and you got up in Carlsbad. You were wearing a black shirt that said dork. Woods' gay voice is one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. All right, it's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes are huge. On Saturday, May 14th, the Mikey Show and M1's Takeover Qualcomm Stadium from 10 a.m. Drayson Street and the new Mikey Show sticker is in.
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55,000 seats sold out in minutes for the biggest UFC event of all time. The Ultimate Fighting Championship presents UFC 129. Here we go! Two title fights and a legendary showdown of former champions. Six years undefeated with 15 straight victories. Former Strikeforce champion Jake Shields meets the greatest welterweight of all time. Undisputed champion George St. Pierre and one of the most vicious strikers in the world. Featherweight champion Jose Aldo makes his UFC debut against Mark the Machine Hominick. Plus, Hall of Famer Randy the Natural Couture battles Leoto the Dragon Machida. Tap Out presents... UFC 129, live Saturday, April 30th from Rogers Center in Toronto, only on pay-per-view. Visit 129.ufc.com for details. Cards subject to change. Or using your Cox remote control by tuning to channel 501 or HD on channel 798 after 5.30 p.m. on Saturday. Enjoy the fight. Thousands of customers all over the world are sharing their stories of how Ovation Cell Therapy has helped grow their hair thickly.
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La Mesa on May 16th. Get all the details at sandiego.org slash East County. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZD San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick. Lauren. My handbag is made out of recycled kimonos, okay? Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. Zienna. Look how fair my skin is. I got freckles. Get out of here. And Jay. Yeah, back rubs are kind of a specialty of mine. On FM 94.9. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, the full Lollapalooza lineup has been announced. This is happening in Chicago at Grant Park on August 5th through 7th. And Woods has gone through and highlighted the big acts. Eminem, Foo Fighters, Coldplay, Muse. Muse! A Perfect Circle, CeeLo Green, The Cars, Deftones, Cold War Kids, Leaky Lee. We're also at the Independence Jam.
Fitz and the Tantrum, City and Color. Ryan Bingham and the Dead Horses. Skylar Gray, who we know has performed at Diddy and Eminem. Those are some of the big ones. Again, Chicago, August 5th through the 7th. Also... It's going to be big. I want to go. Yesterday, it became official. Katie Couric is leaving CBS Evening News. This has been speculated for the last couple weeks, and she just confirmed the news, and she said, in making the decision to move on, I know the evening news will be in great hands, but I'm excited about the future. Now, what's being speculated is that she's going to have a daytime talk show, so we'll see. Katie Couric, of course, used to be on the Today Show, like Sienna said, and David Letterman made a joke about it last night. Katie Couric, who has been the anchor of the CBS Evening News or Nightly News or... What do they call it? I don't know. I don't know. CBS Evening News has announced that she's stepping down. Whoa. Yeah. Well, that's only half of it. Insiders tell me that she was involved in dogfighting. Is that... Katie Couric. It's ridiculous. Yeah. Of course. It's stupid. I didn't see it coming.
That's why you liked it. I didn't see it coming at all. I think it was funny. I didn't see it. It got me a little bit. What's what's going on? Well, the NFL's in bad shape, but you know what could be in even worse shape? The NBA, they're saying, is impossibly worse shaped in the NFL. Their collective bargaining agreement is supposed to expire on June 30th, and they're talking lockout for the NBA, too. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Crazy. Crazy stuff. That wouldn't have a big effect on my life. Well, it wouldn't me either, but it's just like, man, with professional sports. Get it together. Get it together. The key issues for the new NBA CBA collective bargaining agreement include the salary cap, guaranteed contracts, and the luxury tax. So we'll see how that plays out. And then also quick news, the Bulls. eliminated the Indiana Pacers last night, 116-89, and they are moving on in the playoffs. I'm rooting for those guys. I kind of like those cats. There you go. How many days until the Royals get married, Jay? Two days. Happening on Friday. Jay is a big fan of the Royal pomp and circumstance. Big fan of the whole wedding.
Oh my gosh, it's getting exciting now. All the carriages and everything. She's riding in the traditional carriage, which is very exciting. I'm leaving. Do you remember that famous scene of Princess Di strolling out of the carriage? Same carriage. Jay's from Conroe, Texas. Yeah, he's from Conroe, but he loves the Royals. He also loves skating and surfing any day. I'm leaving. They've made it look like an entire forest. They built a forest inside Westminster Abbey. Spreading trees and all. It's going to be cool. It's going to be so cool. Woods is standing up and sort of pacing around, asking himself, how are Jay and I good buddies? Yeah. How do I look up to Jay? If you guys want to get me something, they've got all kinds of collectibles. So much. How about collectible penises? How about one of those? It seems that you've been missing yours. You ain't going to hurt my feelings if you want to go ahead and get me a gift. If you get me a Pez carriage. It's like money in the bank. It's going to grow in value. It is because it's just happening once. There may be rain and people are just stressing out about it because all the people that have traveled there, not just to go to the wedding, but to support the royals and be outside. Wait, wait. It's good luck. It's going to rain in London? No way. You're kidding me. It's going to be very soggy.
Aren't they getting married in a church, though? What does it matter? Well, because out in the town square, whatever it is there, they're going to have it all televised. How do you know? Oh, it's on the television. It's all going to be on the TV, and then people will be in the way with their umbrellas and stuff to get the first view of Kate in her dress. Also, they do, Jay, I'm sure you know all about this, the traditional first kiss outside on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. Wish I was there. I would love to see that. It's the traditional first kiss after the wedding. Why would you like to see it? Because it's so cool. That's cool? Yes. Now, from a, I honestly, as a man, I sort of need that one explained. Okay. I need you to walk it through. Let me give you, for instance, like, you know, my brother used to be into a band called King Crimson. Yeah. I needed him to explain it to me because I didn't get it. And I didn't understand why anybody got it and why anybody liked it. So I need you to walk me through. I just think it's so special because, like, there's nothing. I don't know anything like.
Like royals, we don't have that here. We don't see that. No, the kissing on the back. Yeah, but it's something special. It's the first kiss when they're married. It's their first kiss, which is so special no matter whose wedding you're at. And you see the first kiss and everyone applauds and stands up. Even though they've been living together. True. They've been living together? Oh, for the last eight months. What? Listen to him. Yeah, they've been living together. Even at the university, they've been knocking boots. He knows that. Of course. The queen is none too happy about it. The queen's a freaking nun? I had no idea. No. The queen is a nun. No. She's a nun too happy. Of course not. She's a nun. She's not going to be for that. What nun in the right mind? Kate, this is the queen. Hello. You're a freaking hooker. I'm not. You're a smelly pirate hooker. I'm not a smelly pirate. Yes, you are. This is really the queen. This is the queen of England. Queen Elizabeth. That's true. Are you calling on any family that you can call in on? Correct. I'm calling for my Blackberry. Is that all? Yes. You just want to tell me I'm a dirty whore? Yeah, you're a dirty whore. And that's it? You had sex with William when you were at university. How do you know? Because he told me. He tells me everything. I'm his grandmother. He wouldn't tell you that. There's nothing more important to a teenage boy than his grandmother. Not really. Well, guess what he told me. What? That you became a grandmother from doing some things of your own. Like what?
Westchester, Abbey. Does that ring a bell? Westchester, Abbey. That's right. In Westchester, New York. You were on a travel. Westchester, Pennsylvania. I was on holiday. You were on holiday. Upper, upper state New York. You're a dirty dog. You're a champ. Westminster. You're Westminster. Westminster. Hi. Sue me. Excuse me. I'm going to play golf now. False. True or false? Did you know she's one of the oldest brides? I do now. Because I know that you're one of the gayest men. How old is she? She's 28. 29. Is she? He's 28. Whoa. Older woman? She turned 29 in January. He turns 29 in June. Wow. They're perfect. I thought they were way younger. That guy's losing all that hair at that age. He's got a lot of weight on his shoulders. He's kind of like me. I don't like that they live together. Oh, stop it. Too bad. It's different over there. You got to try things out. And like he really needed to make sure it worked and she really needed to make sure. He's a prince. Oh, really? He needed to make sure his wiener worked? No, I didn't mean that. I mean the relationship in all. Living together. You can't figure out if a relationship works.
Unless you live together? You don't buy a car, pal, without giving it a test drive. There's a lot riding on him. You might have sex and be like, there's no way. Sorry. Absolutely. True story. He needs to reproduce the next king. He's got a lot riding on it. You're not good enough in bed. So forget it. Yeah, I'm out. Please. I wonder if they find out how fertile she is and stuff like that. Oh, I wonder. What does that mean? I bet they do. They got to look because they got to have kids. Royalty kids. It's really important. You can't stop that bloodline, pal. They're not adopting somebody like the kid. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Because I don't understand how all that works. So he's a prince. There's fertility tests. No, I know. But he's a prince. They have a baby. What's the baby? There's a boy. Future king. Future king. Future king, yes. Oh, yeah. Do they still have king? I don't get it, man. What about prince? The queen is living forever, apparently. Right. When she's gone, Charles is king. And who's queen? Camilla. Camilla? Yeah. But I think the queen is living. You care, dude. I care. Did you see that? I care a little bit. You care. I just saw it. I'm interested, I guess, in the genealogy of it, but not in the circumstance. It seems that the queen doesn't want Charles to be king. I think the queen, a lot of people think the queen wants William to be there. But she doesn't have a choice. She doesn't, right? She doesn't have the choice. Wait a minute.
Why is a prince Prince Charles? I guess she does have a choice, I guess. Why is a prince Prince Charles? How come he has a kid and it's a prince? Because they're all royally. They're all in line. They're all be princes. Every boy born is a prince. The firstborn. Yeah, Harry's a prince, but he will not be king because William is the head of him. Unless William dies. So they are all princes. They're PITs. They're KITs. Kings in training. Yeah. They're just princes. But every boy that is born. Of the loin. Is a prince. Every boy born of the loin of a prince is a prince. Only the firstborn boy is a king, though. What about queens? How do you establish this? They've got to be married. I think you'd become a queen if the king and queen only had girls and you were in line. You would be a queen if the firstborn girl. I have a question. Or else you marry a prince. Let's say, God forbid, something happened to Charles. And then the queen of England croaks. And then Charles cannot become king. Therefore, William becomes king. William becomes king, yeah. Will Kate then be queen? Yes. That's what the big deal is. How rad would that be if she was queen of England? That's what people are kind of excited about and mad about is because she's a commoner. And she has a good chance of being queen. Nobody wants Camilla to be the queen. I heard Charles will never be king, that William is the one in line. You can't, though. You can't skip over somebody.
I think you can. I think the queen has the right to say you can't. It's going to be you. And that's why they're saying maybe the queen is waiting until William's ready. And once he's married, he'll be ready. They're an attorney's office. Prince Charles goes, what the hell is this? It says here that she's not letting me do it. You're out, Charles. You're my freaking attorney. I'm actually your mother, and you're out. I didn't pick you. You're dead. You're dead for crying out loud. That's why we're reading your will. I could be wrong, but I'm... You've been passed over. I think that whoever's the ruler, which is the queen, has the right to say no. What does she think she is? The queen of England? Actually, she is, mate. That's why Charles isn't king yet. He's been Prince Charles forever. And, I mean, the queen of England, Elizabeth, is old. Yeah, nobody wants that Camilla. No one wants Camilla. Camilla. If Tony Danza was saying it. If Tony Danza was saying it, it would be Camilla. Hey, I'm one Matt from PB. He's as fruity as all of us. He knows more about this than all of us. Matt, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Okay, so what's the deal? I know it's kind of getting on. You know, I'm like with you. I'm at the sports and all that stuff, too. But here's the deal. Your real passion.
As the royals. As the royals. And not the Kansas City royals. Definitely, definitely. But when Prince William marries her, she'll become a princess. She will never become a queen. She'll always be the princess. So even if he becomes king, she's princess? No, she becomes queen. No, that's not true. That's what you said before is right. When they have kids... They're all girls. Right. Okay, that's when they're queens. Oh, that's right, because the girl would have to come from his bloodline. That's what it says here online. Interesting. Exactly. They're very complex rules. I'm sorry, I may... A big fag like that. Hey, listen. It's interesting to me. It's interesting to me to know this stuff. That's what's so interesting about this whole wedding and everything is because it's so different than the life we lead and the stuff that's happening in the United States. There's no royalty here. Hey, listen. Thank you for the call. Thank you for the call. Don't say the F word. I'll tell you. Hold that up again. Let me see. Sorry. I'll tell you. I didn't have any interest in the royals.
Really, until Jay, who I look up to as well, said that he liked this stuff. He made it okay. He gave you a license to be a queen. To be a queen. To literally be a queen. And so I find it interesting. You know what it is? This is so shallow. Let's hear it. I find it interesting because they're so good looking. They're very good looking. They just live a completely different life. The rules, like I told you guys the other day, they all have to stop eating at the dinner table when the queen is done. She puts her fork down. They are all done. Who lives like that? There's something trippy and cool. It's crazy. It seems like Kate is real normal, though. I mean, she was driving her own car as of yesterday. She's leaving her own dad's house and driving her own car. I mean, you think that you have... Kate Middleton. How old is that queen, man? 107. Seriously. She's really getting up there. I remember she was just a kid. Sweet girl. Was she tough for you to kind of babysit? Like, did she listen? You had to spank her to get her attention. I don't like how they drive on the right side. Oh, me neither. I want them to drive on the left. Have you ever done it?
Of course not. You haven't. Yeah, I went to Barbados, and they did the same bit. Most people in the world drive on the ride. Yeah, that's the true thing. You've done it? Yeah, we did it. We rented a Suzuki Samurai in Barbados and drove. Not only did you drive on the right side of the car. You drive on the left side of the road. Yeah, on the road, yeah. The right side of the car. The right side of the car. So you got double whammy. And they have no stop signs over there. It was all roundabouts. We almost died 700 times. So instead of going right on the roundabout, you're supposed to go left? Yes. Oh, that's creepy. Mikey, it makes your skin crawl. You're dead. One day I was like, turn the keys over to a buddy. No way. It was petrifying. I don't know how they do it. Imagine having a beer in Barbados and then, oh, let's go home. Yeah. Take it back to the house. No way. The whole thing creeps me out. I know. It's very creepy. Do we have any definitive times on this royal thing on Friday? Yeah, well, it all starts on... It's on two channels, right? ABC and something else? NBC, I think. And NBC. What time do they kiss? It starts at 4 a.m. on Friday, Eastern Time. So 1 a.m. in the morning on Friday. We can turn on those channels and watch all the updates to the wedding. But isn't that like the beginning of the pregame of the Super Bowl? In other words, it starts at 1 o'clock in the morning Pacific, but they don't actually get married to like 6. Yes.
Is that it? I wonder. Something like that. I don't have the exact line out. Yeah. It's Friday afternoon for them. They're getting married. I did see the little hooah that the redhead guy's taken. What's his name? Prince Harry? Chelsea. Her name's Chelsea. She's dirty hot. Like what? Like dirty hot. Like blonde brunette. Blonde, dirty hot little sloot. He knows what he's doing. Yeah, he does. What's his type? That can't be possible. Thank you. This is Harry, the brother. Yeah, the redhead. I just like that. It's the redhead. The redhead. Harry, yeah. He's not allowed to date a girl that looks trashy, right? Oh, come on. She's slutish. They're very rebellious. Yes. Especially Harry. Oh, yeah. Are we talking like Jersey Shore? No. Probably from England. Troublemaker partier. The whale's shore. Yeah. But she don't look that way. She looks slutish. William is the good child. I'm going to have to be true. I'm going to show you. Oh, yeah. She is totally. Looks like. She'd been partying. We've never kissed her even on the math. She looks like she'd be alright. I kiss her hand. I'm allowed to kiss two places. Her hand and... That's a girl he's been with forever. Okay. I stand corrected. Chelsea Davey. Are we going to do it? She's young in that picture. That picture was taken outside the pub.
I thought they broke up. How do I even know? They did. They do. Then they're back together. Broke up, got back together. I hired her. I fired her. They do that all the time. Yeah. Who, Harry and the Chick? And Chelsea, yeah. Oh, she's hot. Harry and the Chick. Sounds like a sitcom. I know. Woods is just looking at picture after picture. He's a good looking dude, man. He's not bad, dude. He's pretty sharp. Remember when he was 12? He had like Mad Magazine. The redheaded stepchild. Literally the redheaded stepchild. He got really good looking and now I think he's starting. He looked like Alfred E. Newman. He did it from Matt. That's a good-looking cat. Sharp guy. Think they've had premarital intercourse? No. Hello, Miss Lady. On her birthday, I kissed her on the cheek. Those boys can get whoever they want whenever they want. Oh, yeah. Don't tell LLB that. Makes her upset. Well, it's different if you're king.
She's like, no, they can get whoever they want. They mostly could. Think she's ever tanned? It's not bad, is it? Stop looking at pictures of her creep. Hey. Hi. Wow. We're not even supposed to have our laptops open. He keeps showing me. Look at this one. Hey, look at this. It's my favorite name. Too soon, L.O.B. Dirt McGirt. Nope. Nope. Can't do that yet. Can't do that yet. Can't do that yet. Sienna, you just blew it. You blew it. Monday after Thanksgiving. You blew it. Sienna, you blew it. You blew it. It's over. You can't do it. It's not over. It's over. Sienna blew it. I did not. She's a little bender lucky. Stop, LLB. Why? Mama Seda. That's something you say every day. You're blowing it. Mama Seda. I see you. I see you seeing me. I see you. I'll see you. I'll see you. I got a lot to tell you, actually, when we come back. I want to tell you about something I read from L.O.B. that made me laugh. And my afternoon yesterday was pretty humiliating. Okay. As a man. Be heard on the Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call five thumbs, the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9.
FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. A stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. Tickets are only $35 with no additional fees. $1 of every ticket sold will go to the About the Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at independencejam.com or at fm949sd.com. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, presented by Miller Lite, Sunday, June 5th. The president and founder of Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Angelo DeMonte. You know, we're very proud of being in Escondido. We do a tremendous amount of business in North County and all of San Diego.
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And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm the opposite of a football player. Lauren. I love taking care of boyfriends when they're sick. Woods. I do know my way around the jail. Sienna. I like a beer belly. I'm going to tell you that right now. And Jay. Yes, sir. On FM 94.9. LLB watched a special called How Smart Are Animals? That Sienna and Woods would have loved. Actually, me too, she said. Not Jay, because he'd probably rather be. skating or surfing or making hush puppies. Or shooting the animals to, in fact, eat them. That's right. Feed his children for lunch. She said it was all about these amazing abilities that different animals have, and her favorite was the octopus. She says, do I ever watch specials? Me too. What did the octopus do? The octopus had this, like, camouflaging ability. Some of them did. And then the other one...
I screwed a lid off of a jar to get the piece of food that was in there. The octopus did? Yeah, I figured it out. That's rad. I figured it out. Figured it all out. I figured it all out. That's pretty awesome. Yeah. I had quite a day yesterday. What happened? Well, we have a new fountain. In your living room? Yeah. It's gorgeous. In our living room. Harold put in a socket to plug it in. Two sockets. One's for a fader for the lights. The other one is the power for the pump to make the water go. It's beautiful. We had a professional come in and hang it because obviously I can't do anything like that. So professional came in and hung it. Well, there's been a problem with the fountain. It's dry. It's dry right down the middle. So you have the water pouring over, but it's only wet on this side and this side. The middle's dry. I hate it when that happens. And there was this other little part that was sticking out, making it pee. It looked like it was peeing, you know? And it looked wrong. It just looked wrong. It didn't look good. It looked weird. What? Nothing. You got to look. I don't know what that look is. I don't know what it is. I'm just sitting here. I know, but that look said something like, okay. No, I'm just, I'm listening. And the problem is? I didn't even have a look. You did. I did. Can you describe the look? Yes, the look said, it's freaking great, Mike.
No, that wasn't it at all. Wasn't that? It wasn't that. Cadillac problems? No, it was getting really dirty in my mind. Oh, okay. I'm a filthy creep. What do you want me to do? All right, so Rebecca did most of the work in calling the right place for me to call. Found the name of the guy, got the number, the whole deal. So all I needed to do was call the guy. So I call him. And he says, do you have the instruction manual? No, I don't have that. Just toss it. I don't have it. Never had it. Never saw it. Never saw it. He said, oh, okay. He said, well, all you need to do is go to your computer and I'll show you what to do. So he gives me the website and I said, can you spell that? He said, fountain? Yes. He spelled it for me.
All I can do is be honest. I could lie. F-O-U-N-T-A-I-N. Is this a safe tree? You know that it's not. I told him I didn't know how to spell it. He spelled it for me. Then I printed it out. And he says, now go back in and I'll walk you through this process. Now, I had to get up on a chair. And then I had to stand on top of a cabinet. And I had to work on the... On the fountain. So now you're like three feet off the floor. Oh. It's killing me. It's killing me. So he says, okay, do you have a level? I said, no, I don't. You have an app on your iPhone? My wife might. Yeah, my wife probably does. I don't have a level. And I said, no. He goes, it's okay. He said, it's okay. I think we could still do this. He said, do you see these little two?
Copper bars inside? I said, yeah. He said, okay, I need you to bend those to a 60 degree angle. Oh, no. And I said, I don't know what 60 degrees is. I know what a 45 degree angle is. 15 more than that. It's halfway between that and a 90 degree angle. Right. Crickets should be playing. I don't know that. I don't know that. Here's a 45. Well, here's a 45. Here's a 90. So the 60 would be about here. That's smart. Well, so he was trying to describe to me through a word picture what a 60 degree angle look like. Oh, no. And I'm trying to do it. And then he said, he goes, now I need you. Do you have a Brillo pad? And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Babe. I literally yelled the word babe for five minutes.
Because you were up on the deal. You couldn't get down. Messing with the copper wires. Dealing with the thing. I knew I could get down once, but I couldn't get up and down. A bunch. A bunch. What's a Brillo pad for? You had to scrape the copper. The copper attracts oils, and the oils on your fingers will prevent the water from spilling over the side. Were you upset that you were doing this in the middle of all of it while you're yelling, babe? Were you just fuming? Yes. But I was... I can't imagine. I can hear the voice, Todd's tone screaming in the same way you. And I'm like, oh, as a wife, you just don't want to go. I was just, all I was thinking in my head was, I always have unreasonable expectations. My expectations of Rebecca are not based or founded in any kind of reality, truth, or fairness. In my mind, she needed to be there.
Because I was fixing the fountain. Like an assistant to you. Well, if not an assistant to me, she at least needed to be nearby in case I need her. Moral support. And the fact that she was taking care of our children outside was an irritant. Babe! Babe! Hey, babe! Maybe if I keep yelling babe. Did you try Rebecca? No, but I did this. Claudia? Nita! Babe! Babe! Can you hold on just a second? Poor guy. That guy is like, oh my God. What's going on? Absolutely. He probably asked me five different things I didn't have or no. Did you fix it? It's fixed. Good job. Look at you.
Rebecca fixed it later, but yeah, Rebecca got out there and fixed it. Pop it in. The Mikey Show. Turn it on. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. This is a Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes on Saturday, May 14th. The Mikey Show and M1's Takeover Qualcomm Stadium from 10 a.m. Duration Street Impact. A brand new Mikey Show sticker is in. And we for your ride, everybody receives a prize. We've got a his and her mountain bike from Harrow. A brand new Ibanez guitar. A 42-inch LG plasma with 5.1 surround sound and Blu-ray player. Plus, we're adding new prizes daily. We mention a
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Lauren. You guys, I'm a middle child. I need attention. Woods. You know what my wife's number one complaint about me is? My clothes. I leave my clothes scattered throughout the house. Sienna. La Jolla is my favorite bubble. I don't want to live anywhere else. And Jay. My kids' friends are always afraid of me. On FM 94.9. Look who's here. There he is. New York Mike. Oh, Mikey. What's up, man? Mikey. Listen, man. I saw the definitive operation for Harley Davidson. Yes. We all went down there. And he can tell you, my eyes were as big as saucers. Like, I couldn't stop looking around. We went to San Diego Harley Davidson. New York Mike owns it. And we got the whole tour. We got the whole everything. And we got to take a look around.
I think I fell in love with Harley Davidson. Kid in a candy shop. Yeah. Mike had a taco stand. Woods at a donut shop. That's right. Same thing. It's amazing. You know, when I come into the studio, there's only about, what, 20 of you guys here. Yeah, there's a lot of us. But it's a great team. And when you come to San Diego and Harley Davidson, you get the same feeling. We got... Great people because everybody loves the brand. We love what we do. We love Harley Davidson and what it stands for. And you come to the mic. I walk in the studio. I ask Trish. I said, hey, that place is cool. It's not just you, man. You bring it out in people. You inspire the people. But it's wonderful to be in this environment. And that's the kind of thing. So when you went in, you felt it. It was cool. Well, and you do. You do. I mean, you definitely do. It's just a cool, cool place. And the bike that we're giving away, the FXDB, is on display there at San Diego Harley-Davidson. And you can actually go down there and take a look at it for yourself. And the cool thing is that you can also qualify and put your name in to win tickets to go to our Independence Jam. And so you should go down there. This morning, Jay made a point of saying you can also meet Trish. Yeah. And he said, you know.
He embarrassed her quite a bit. Really? I thought I was just being friendly. Well, he was being friendly. In a creepy way. In an extremely creepy way. No, no. Meaning to be complimentary. Well, he was, but he said, you should go down and see Trish. Ridiculous. Trish, did you hear that this morning? Come over to the microphone. Please come over to the microphone. Okay, all right. Jay, you did hear that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, a little bit. You did hear it. Yeah, did it embarrass you? No, I'm fine. Are you okay? Mike, you make that little Springer noise again? That little... Jay? Do you... Do you hear that? Trish, do you hear that often? Yes. I bet you do. Well, Trish does work for San Diego Harley Davidson. Oh, yeah. Who knows? She may be around the place when you go there to see the bike, and you can decide for yourself which is, you know, the one that you want to stare at more, the bike, or...
Or Trish. She has a boyfriend, you guys. She has a boyfriend, you guys. That's all right. But I heard you say I was upset. I was upset when I saw the bike and everything that they put into the bike. I would have been really upset. How can you be upset when Trish is upset? You cannot. Play that little noise again? You think Trisha can sell ice to an Eskimo? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. Yeah, I'll take it. I'll take it. Mike, when you guys are trying to close a deal on a bike and the bike is like 24 grand, you go, you have her come out and go, it's actually 75 grand. She comes out and they're like, yeah, 85. How about 90? How about 95? You send her out and you say to the guy, he's looking, he doesn't know if he wants to buy. You have her come out and go, oh, can you not afford it right now? He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talking about? I got it. I got it. I don't care. The money's secondary. Yeah. I want to see your birth certificate. All she would have to say is that bike looks good on you. Oh, 100%. I'll take two. Done. I'll take two. What about you one? You want to keys to my apartment? It's so fantastic. Well, I'm glad you came in, Mike, because we were telling people this morning that they can go down, take a look at the bike, and if you want to win that bike, that blacked out Harley, and by the way, they put San Diego.
on that filter cap. Yeah, yeah. Which is kind of a cool thing. It says San Diego Harley-Davidson on it. It's customized. Whole thing's black. It's an amazing bike. And we're going to be giving it away May 14th at our big OSI event, our big Operation Street Impact, where we will also be presenting people with the brand new Mikey Show sticker. It's in, and everybody will get it on their ride on May 14th. Do I get to see it? Absolutely. Absolutely do. We also want to remind everybody that San Diego Harley is putting on a bike ride up to Mount Soledad that morning. That's cool. That's right. And you can call Trish at 619-997-4455 for more information. She's got a boyfriend. So people know she's got a boyfriend. It's strictly for more information about the ride. For more information. It's a blessing of the bike. He just gave out your cell number. No, he didn't. He's saying about the ride. Trish, will you be coming to OSI? Yes. And she'll be getting a new cell phone next week. It's going to be a really hot day. I'd wear a bikini. I'm just saying. I'm just saying it's hot and there's going to be a lot of sunshine. She can't hear you. Don't make her uncomfortable. Too late. We want to keep her around. She's beet red. All right, Jay. That's a diving board. Jay just jumped off a diving board.
He's losing his mind. Well, we've learned a lot today. We've learned that the royals may be rained out on Friday when they get married. Soggy. We learned that Elton John is next in line to be the queen. Correct. And we learned that, well, it blew on. Jay cannot get any creepier. Yeah, we learned that Jay can't get creepier. That's not true. No, don't test it. Don't test it. We learned that Kim must be out of town. Yes. I think that's what we've learned. I know my wife, for one, has call day, so I can say whatever I want because she can't listen. Oh, that explains a lot. How you doing? You know that show The Voice was on last night? Yes. And I was reading, and I... It was on in the background. I wasn't paying attention. And I heard, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Christina Aguilera. And I turned around, and I looked, and she goes, and she's staring right at me. Rebecca. Rebecca's staring right at me. She goes, I was waiting how long that would change. I'm telling you, dude, we're all little creepy. So we try. What are you going to do? Well, thank you, Mike. And hopefully people get down there to check it out. It's an awesome bike.
Thank you for everything you've done for us, man. They brought bagels to us. A thousand bagels. They know us. Gosh. Yummy. They know. Oh, you know what Trish said to me? She goes, they have low-fat bagels in there. I'm not kidding you. Oh, my God. True statement. Smart. Savvy. Because I'm fat. It's because you've been saying your views in some ways. It's because I'm fat. I know I heard one of the gals say she likes guys with beer bellies this morning. I heard that. I heard that. I like a little beer belly. There you go. And LLB likes black guys. That's true. One of the five fingers. Side of the face. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I'll go feast on some low-fat bake. Thank you. Chocolate chip. Thank you. Out time. Hillary's here. Hi, Hill. Come on over. Come on over. Come on over. How are you? We're good. How you doing? I'm good. You know, Garrett told me yesterday that because you guys are going to be busy kind of during OSI, that I'm in a broadcast. Sweet. Yeah. Sweet. From Qualcomm Stadium. I love it. Yeah. Nice. That's rad. So I'll kind of anchor it from 10 to 1, but of course you guys will be on the air with me, but I'll hold it down so you guys can. That's cool. Hillary's like, hey, Garrett called and said, I have to work on a Saturday. Thanks, guys.
Thanks, guys. I was like, sweet. Yes. Hell, that's awesome. That is awesome. It'll be fun, you guys. We're excited to have you out there. This is going to be the biggest Mikey Show event ever, and it's going to be out at Qualcomm Stadium on May 14th, and it's going to be big. Hillary, what do you got coming up? Yeah, the prizes are pretty crazy. I'm going to play the new one from the Joy Formidable because that song is really growing on me. Some White Stripes. New Beastie Boys. I'll get on Jane's Addiction. Bad Religion. What? Jay's playing some happy sound effects for every song. Not creepy. Happy. Something is wrong with Jay. He's lost his mind. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We will see you tomorrow morning at 6. And thank you to New York Mike and Trish for bringing some new bagels down here. Thank you. See you tomorrow morning at 6. Mike shows out late. Financial media station. Mikey in the morning. About the music all day and night. It's about the music.