The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 04/28/11
Thursday, April 28, 2011
tornado outbreakNFL draftCam NewtonJimmy ClawsonJamarcus RussellRyan LeafChargers draftJ.J. Wattconvention center stadiumObama birth certificateDonald Trumpshmear campaign
The Mikey Show featured a mix of listener bits and current events, including a child asking about 'smoky' music, Jake questioning if Mikey is 41, and Jay's beard being compared to Dateline murdered guys. Mikey pushed the Chris Cornell ticket giveaway and Operation Street Impact Harley giveaway while reporting on the South's deadly tornado outbreak with 173 fatalities. The NFL draft segment saw Mikey and Woods clash over Cam Newton's off-field risks versus Jimmy Clawson's college success, referencing Jamarcus Russell and Ryan Leaf as cautionary tales. Later, A.J. Smith's Chargers draft strategy sparked debate on J.J. Watt, and Steve Johnson tweeted that linking a stadium to a convention center defies logic like adding a zoo. The show concluded with Obama's birth certificate release ridiculed as a 'shmear campaign' printed at Kinko's.
What happened, in order
Smoky Music Kid
A caller's child asks what 'smoky' means in music, and Mikey explains it's like a chimney, with the child agreeing.
Show Intro & Jake's Age
Mikey introduces the show at age 40, Jake asks if he's 41, Rebecca comments on Woods and Sienna, and the show gives out the listener number 570-1949.
Bearded Producer & Dateline Comparison
L.O.B. describes Jay as a smoky producer with a beard compared to Dateline murdered guys, and Mikey jokes about Grizzly Adams and rugged good looks.
Missing Producer Isbell
Jay's beard makes him look like a good-looking murdered guy on Dateline NBC, and Mikey discusses Jay's successful company Isbell Productions and a story about Melissa Small and a missing producer.
Chris Cornell & OSI Giveaway
Mikey announces Chris Cornell tickets at Humphreys on May 6th and reveals Operation Street Impact (OSI) with a 16-day timer until the May 14th event where listeners can win a Harley, surround sound system, and other priz
South Tornado Outbreak
Mikey reports on a devastating storm across the South that killed 173 people, mostly in Alabama, and discusses how people live in tornado-prone areas compared to San Diego's relative safety.
NFL Draft: Cam Newton vs Clawson
Mikey and Woods debate the NFL draft, arguing Cam Newton has electric talent but off-field issues and 'imploding' risk, while Jimmy Clawson was a better college quarterback but lacks physical upside, referencing Jamarcus
Chargers Draft & Stadium Talk
Mikey breaks down A.J. Smith's draft picks, noting every mock draft has the Chargers taking J.J. Watt from Wisconsin for his effort and character, and discusses stadium plans with Mayor Jerry Sanders and Mark Fabiani reg
Convention Center vs Stadium Tweet
San Diego Convention Center spokesman Steve Johnson tweets that tying a Chargers stadium to a convention center complex won't work, comparing it to opening a zoo when the world's greatest zoo already exists, and priority
Obama Birth Certificate & Shmear Campaign
Mikey discusses President Obama finally releasing his birth certificate, mocking the 'shmear campaign' (a play on smear), Donald Trump's pride in the issue, and the certificate looking like it was printed at Kinko's.
People mentioned
MikeyJakeRebeccaWoodsSiennaJayL.O.B.Chris (screener)Melissa SmallChris CornellA.J. SmithJ.J. WattJerry SandersMark Fabiani
38,086 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
We've been starting the show with this song the last few days. Maybe we do it for the next few years. No complaints here. It's so great. It puts me in an immediately good mood. Yes. Just when I hear the blue eye guitar. If your kid ever comes to you and your kid goes, Dad, what does it mean when somebody says that music is smoky? What does that mean? I don't understand. I know a chimney is smoky and I know smoke, but what does it mean if a song is smoky? And at that point you go, That's what it means, son. And he goes, Yeah.
He goes, okay, I got it. I get it. I feel it. It's palpable. I feel it. Yeah. I can almost taste it. Right. And Sienna rolls her eyes and she goes, I don't want to talk about it. I don't. She's so over blue eyes. That's so great. All I hear all morning long. Blue eyes. 570-1949 is our number. You can call us right now if you want to. And you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. You can also... Send a carrier pigeon. You can do anything you'd like. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40 years old. And Jake asks me all the time, are you 41 yet? And I tell him, my four-year-old son, I tell him, nope, I am not. And then Rebecca in the background goes, but pretty soon. Woods is our sports guy. He's a handsome man. He's 35. I've known him a long time. He is. He's losing weight.
L.O.B. is a beautiful girl. She's blonde. She is wearing her, what's that lady's name? Amelia Earhart. Amelia Earhart jacket. My aviator jacket. My aviator jacket. And she is our assistant producer. Sienna is beautiful. She's our auburn-haired news girl. And she's from La Jolla. She's got a daughter. And the daughter is maybe the cutest kid I've ever seen in my life. She's up there for sure. Let's see. Jay is our smoky producer. Smoky. He needs facial hair. He's creepy. His wife don't like it, dude. No, no. She likes a little bit, but it was too much. I have those Grizzly Adams. I love that beard, man. Dude, he had a beard. I liked it, too. Yeah. He had a beard, and his beard reminded me of... photos that you see of good looking murdered guys on Dateline. Yeah. So when they were doing like a Dateline show and there was like a guy that was killed by the jealous girl, you know, and he was like rugged and really good looking and an attorney and like he had all this, he had a private plane.
That's what Jay looked like when he had the beard. Like a murdered guy. He looked like a good-looking murdered guy on Dateline NBC. You know, it's almost a slap in the face to me who can't grow a beard like that, Jay. The fact that you don't have one. For sure. I could grow one in high school. Yeah? Yeah, you should see my high school pictures. Well, Jay was so well-liked around his community. I mean, everyone loved him. He was the sort of guy that could build anything. In fact, build an entire company he did. It was called Isbell Productions. Dot com. It was so successful that by the time it went public, well, one of the top buyers was Melissa Small from a small town. She'd never met a guy as charming as Jay. What did he do? Well, he took her on private trips on that airplane and they would fly to the Caribbean, all sorts of places she'd never seen. Wiener time. Until one day, Jay turned up missing. Suddenly it was more on the case of the missing producer. And our phone screener is Chris. Let's see.
Megan from NBC739 is going to be in the studio this morning. She's coming in to film a promo with The Mikey Show. Jay just putting it out there. Kind of says it all, doesn't it? It really does. Are you taking us to beer, coffee? That's good. Coffee. That is the creepiest, filthified. He's so not subtle when he thinks someone's attractive. Yeah. Right. He's like, oh, God. Yeah. I mean, I'm dead. So anyway, Megan's coming in and she's going to be shooting a promo with the Mikey Show. And what else is going on? Word of the day is frame. Frame is the word of the day. So when you hear me.
Weave that into a sentence between now and 10. Caller 9 will win a pair of tickets to see Chris Cornell at Humphreys on May the 6th. That is a huge prize. I will be there. Oh, it's going to be great, man. Can't wait. He is so good. It's a good venue, too. Humphreys is cool. That's what I hear. Let's see. Also want to remind you that Operation Street Impact, OSI. is not that far away. In fact, if you go to MikeyShow.com right now, you can see a timer. And there are 16 days, 4 hours, 51 minutes until OSI begins. 10 a.m. on May the 14th. It's a Saturday morning. People have asked online, is it a kid-friendly thing? It is. I mean, basically what you're going to be doing is you're going to be in your car, and the idea is that we're getting this sticker on your car, the brand new Mikey Show sticker. And so your kids can come along. After you get the sticker on your car, you'll be handed an envelope, and you may win that $24,000 Harley from San Diego Harley-Davidson. That may be one of the things you get. You may win a surround sound system from Tried and True Home Theater and Security with installation in your house.
But everybody's guaranteed to win some sort of small prize. And so after you get your sticker on your car and after you get, you know, the envelope, it's up to you. You can go or you can stick around. We're going to have some food there. Hillary, our midday DJ, is going to be broadcasting live from Qualcomm. And so we're going to be hanging out, man. And M1s are just getting together and hanging out with each other. And so if you've got kids, sure, man. I mean, you can bring them along. It should be fun. Absolutely. Big story this morning is that a storm ripped across the South. I turned my phone on yesterday and I saw that they had these warnings that said that there could be some potential tornadoes and it was getting real serious and it did get serious. Yeah, meteorologists are calling this one of the most devastating tornado outbreaks in the nation's history. Oh my. And this storm, I mean, they're just ripping across the South, killing. At least so far, they have the count of 173 people killed. The majority of the fatalities have been in Alabama. There were also some in Mississippi, Arkansas, Tennessee, Georgia. I mean, it's just swooping around. So just so sad. You know, it always trips me out when people decide to live in those areas where they're so common. I mean, like here in San Diego.
we can say, sure, there could be earthquakes, but they're usually, you know, we never even know about them. We hear about them later. We never even know they happen. I know. I was saying to Woods before the show today, I went for a walk yesterday and I'm walking right by the beach and I'm like, a tsunami could just come here. I mean, yeah, but it doesn't. It fires and everything else. I mean, every place has it. Everybody. My mom is like, I can't believe you live in San Diego. There's so many things. I mean, every place. And the East Coast, they've got floods and hurricanes. Snow and, you know, blizzards. Crazy blizzards, yeah. I guess I just, you know, besides the wildfires, the wildfires were bad. They were really bad. Really bad. But, yeah, I guess that's true. I mean, Jay probably knows that, dude, a storm in the South, they come whipping through. I mean, and you've never seen anything like these. It is insane. NFL draft, what he is tonight. It is. It is. Starts at 5 o'clock. Mike and I were talking about this off the air this morning. I don't want the number one pick if I'm the GM. I don't want to be number one. Which I can't understand why. Well, okay. Let me rephrase it. I don't want this year's number one pick. I don't want to be the GM of the Carolina Panthers today. It's the most, I think, unenviable position in football. I can go for that. You got a guy.
That is electric. Cam Newton is an electric player. Also has been arrested a couple of times. Got some off the field stuff. Has also come out and said, hey, I'm an icon. So it's already his head is kind of bigger than the game. Yeah. And he played one full year of college football. Granted, he won the national championship, was undefeated and was phenomenal. But so if you're a Carolina fan today, you're like. Well, we sucked last year. We scored 17 touchdowns. We need a quarterback. We drafted a quarterback last year, Jimmy Clawson. He didn't do that well, but we didn't really have a lot of parts around him either. In my opinion, you can't compare those two physically with their physical talents. If you want to look at numbers, Clawson was a better college quarterback. Yeah, but Cam Newton is... He's that next level guy. However... So was Jamarcus Russell in college. Jamarcus Russell was filthy at LSU. Filthy. Look at him now. Guy's drinking syrup somewhere on the corner. Now, truly. You look at those two cases, though. You look at the Ryan Leafs, the Jamarcus Russells. You know, Ryan Leaf was a head case. Yes. And Jamarcus Russell, in his own way, is a head case. Oh, yeah. He just doesn't have the...
desire to play football. Now, Cam Newton, you look at Cam Newton and you go, well, certainly this guy has the talent and ability and the physical skills to be a quarterback and a really successful one at the next level. The only thing that scares me about him, not even the one-year thing, doesn't scare me. The thing that scares me about Cam Newton is him imploding. Yes. A lot of pressure in the NFL. Off the field. Off the field. Yeah, man. I mean, instantly. He gets signed tonight. He signs a deal. There's the shoe contract. There's Gatorade. There's all this stuff that comes down on him. And he's like, this is before he's gotten on the field. He's a multimillionaire. Yeah. What's his incentive to go out and work hard and try hard? You have to want to be the best in the league. You have to be Peyton Manning. You have to live in that film room. Yeah. You know, but see, if I'm if I'm the GM, I'm like, well, I'm going to take a guy that's an impact player like a Marcel Darius from Alabama. It's a safe, almost a sure thing pick. But then you get killed for passing up on Cam Newton if he does anything. So I'm saying I'm like, oh, my God, I don't want that. Do you have.
the Charger deal in front of you and what we think might happen with the Chargers? Yeah, so I was looking into a little bit of info. Talked about it yesterday. A little bit, yeah. A.J. Smith has five picks, okay, in the first five of the first 89, I believe. And, you know, he is a wheeler and dealer. I mean, he has traded up or down in, I think, four of the last six drafts. He went up 16 spots to get Matthews last year. Who knows what A.J.'s going to do, in all honesty. On every mock draft I've seen, literally every single one, they have the Chargers taking J.J. Watt out of Wisconsin, who is, it says, an A.J. Smith type of player. A lot of effort, a lot of character, and he's more solid than spectacular. The thing I was listening to this morning was saying, hey, Chargers are not in rebuilding mode by any stance. I mean, they've got a lot of talent. But really... Build up the trenches, the interior offensive line, the defensive line as well. He'd be a really good fit that would play day one. And he's got a high motor, which is really cool. I'm going to tape the draft. Yeah, you should. I'm going to tape it. I'm not excited until today. Now it's tonight. Now I'm going, all right.
I want a part of it. You know, and you always want, you know, it was really exciting around here last year because you knew the Chargers needed a running back. We all saw the tapes of Ryan Matthews. We knew we wanted to get him. And when we got him, it felt really good. And he's, you know, he's still kind of, we're waiting to see what we get. We saw flashes. He had a gimpy leg. Yeah, he had a gimpy leg last year. But it's cool when you, you know, when you're drafting offensive and defensive linemen, sometimes you're like, great. But boy, it pays off two or three years down the road. They're good. Also, there's some stuff going on with the stadium. Their stadium talk is back. Yeah, so Mayor Jerry Sanders and Mark Fabiani, who's the special counsel to the Chargers, they're talking about the new Chargers stadium and the plan, what it would look like. And Fabiani has been kind of going around to different businesses and kind of... getting people's take on it downtown and what he wants and what he thinks would be cool is exactly what they're trying to do in LA right now. Um, it's a convention center slash stadium with all these businesses around it. In theory, it sounds like a pretty, pretty cool thing. Um, but.
There's a guy named Steve Johnson. He's the spokesman for the San Diego Convention Center. He tweeted, I would like Mark Fabiani to stop trying to tie the Chargers stadium to a convention center complex. Not happening and does not work. I don't get it. I don't get it even a little. Why on earth would Mark Fabiani from the Chargers go, let's put a convention center and tie that in with this stadium? If we have a great convention center, a really nice, beautiful, fully functional convention center. They have in mind. It's like saying we want to get a stadium going and we also want to open a zoo. Right. Like, what are you talking about? We've got the greatest zoo in the world in San Diego. Yeah, and it's worked in other cities. I can see their grand vision of what it's going to look like. But did they do it in cities, though, that needed? A convention center? Yeah, at the time. You know what I mean? Maybe that's the deal. We don't. They need, they want, they have in their mind this big sports entertainment complex. But, you know, you've got the gas lamp downtown. You know, downtown is going to be fine. Just build a frigging stadium for the Chargers and keep them here. That should be priority number one. Not all this extraneous stuff, the convention center and all that. The original idea that the Chargers had, I thought, was the greatest idea ever. And the city said, no way.
And that idea was to go out there and take a bunch of dynamite and a wrecking ball to the toilet that we now call Qualcomm. And then they wanted to build Chargerland. They wanted it to have condos. They wanted it to have shopping. They wanted it to have all kinds of stuff and have it be just a state of the art stadium. But what they wanted was they wanted to own it. They were going to buy it and they wanted to own it. And the city said. No, because we own that land you want to do that on. We own where Qualcomm is right now. No. Well, great. Now we both lose. Right. It's not like you're making hand over fist dough on that city. San Diego's not making hand over fist dough on that land that they own where Qualcomm is. At least if we let the Chargers have it, we got nice condos. We got a big old shiny, beautiful thing. And we got tourism and we got Super Bowls and we got money that's coming in. So you're not a proponent of the downtown stadium? I guess so. I mean, but not like that. Right. Not in that way. I love the downtown stadium, man. It's the coolest. It is the coolest. I guess I just like where Qualcomm is right now because it's so central. Yeah, that's true. It doesn't matter where you're from. You're 15 minutes away from everything in Mission Valley. Try going to Petco Park even on game day. You're driving through downtown. Sometimes you want to hang yourself. The traffic is murder sometimes. It's tough.
So yesterday, if you didn't know already, President Obama finally came out and said that he's got a birth certificate. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Sorry. It's one thing I forgot to do this morning. There we go. This issue will not be put to rest. But I'm speaking to the vast majority of the American people, as well as to the press. We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We got better stuff to do. You know what is interesting to me? If that's true, then why are you even doing it? Because the truth is, if you're doing it now because everybody's talking about it, they were talking about it two years ago, too. I just thought of that. Maybe he just wants it to finally...
You know, be put to bed. Why didn't he want it to finally be put to bed when he was running for president? I mean, that's an even more important time. You've got someone that's going to be a possible running opponent in Donald Trump that's making this like shmear campaign. Shmear? Shmear campaign? Shmear. Yeah, that's like making this huge deal. He can't just sit idly forever about it. So here's my thought to that. I'm going, you have a potential. potential person that is running for office that will be running the smear campaign. Shmear. Shmear campaign. Which is like, in other words, they're running a campaign with something that you put on a bagel. Yeah, chives. Chives. We get a lot of Einstein around here. Garden vegetable. So you have a potential person that will be running against you. Right. Yeah. But you actually had somebody that was running against you. that was yelling about it as well. And you didn't produce anything. Obviously he did. No, he didn't. When he went into the HR department at the White House to fill out his application for president, he had to have something. Did he? Because I don't know, bro. Yes, because he got elected. That's how you know. How do you know? He got elected. Here's my thought, though. If that's the truth, then when Clinton was saying it, when she was running against him, why didn't he do it then?
Because he was new to the spot and he was like, I just can't be reactive about everything that someone's throwing at me. Now he's like, hey, I earned my keep here. Let's shut up about this and worry about all the world issues and the national security issues. You said it the other day about Donald Trump, about how reactive he is. We played audio of... Robert De Niro basically saying, hey, Trump's this, Trump's that. We played audio of Trump going, you know, I've watched Robert De Niro and he's an idiot and he's not the brightest bulb in the shed. You said it's not very presidential. To react to it. Exactly. It's not very presidential to react to every barb that's thrown your way. Right. And so in reacting to it. Two years later. You don't react to it. If you're not going to react to it, don't react to it. But when you do react to it, well, then you're doing exactly what you like. If your logic holds true, Obama, you shouldn't be doing it. Well, he was saying that we've taken our eye off the focus of what's important. He said that he throws these press conferences. No one shows up. Right. And then he's like, OK, look, guys, you guys all want to know. Here it is. Now let's move on to important things. Well, part of the reason that they don't show up is because you hold one every day. And he does. I mean.
He does. And he's on The View and he's on, you know. He was on Oprah yesterday. Has he done a guest starring appearance on How I Met Your Mother yet? Because he's been on every other freaking show in the planet, you know. Has he been on Animal Planet yet? Maybe. He has been on Mythbusters. We know that. So part of the reason they don't show up is because he does one all the time. And so if his, you know, talk about a look over here. And by the way, I saw the birth certificate. and it doesn't look like a worn-out birth certificate. Oh, my gosh. It doesn't. It looks like it was just made at Kinko's. Yeah, they probably did. Probably. Probably forged it. It looks like it was just made at Kinko's. Yeah, he probably forged it as the president. It does look like that, though. Listen, I'm going to tell you, that dude could have been born in Hawaii. He could have been born in Hawaii. He was born in Hawaii. At that place, at the deal, blah, blah, blah. And I'm still telling you that the... Birth certificate that they showed looks like it was made two days ago at King Kong. I can send out and I get a new fresh copy of mine right now. Yeah, I know. Me too. In fact, I had to. It looks like that. Well, there you go. I had to get a new one. That's what he did. He's not saying that. He's saying he's had it the whole time.
Is that what he's saying? I don't know if that's what he's saying. I don't know if that's what he's saying either. He produced it finally. He's not saying he pulled that out of a shoebox under his bed. Yeah, his mom had it. I think he's saying it's been there all along. Folded it up in the family Bible. Here's the one that we can get from the hospital or from wherever the Department of Records or wherever it's been. All right. Well, he called his mother Stanley and asked her if she would... Hey, Mama Stanley, will you dig under the bed? I think that's her maiden name. By the way, Woods isn't making a joke. I'm not making a joke. Her name is Stanley. It's Stanley. It's Stanley Obama. Have you seen the way it's laid out, though? It said maiden name first. I think that's her maiden name. No, it's not. It's not because above it, it said his father's name and it said Barack Hussein Obama in the same order. Stanley Ann, whatever her maiden name is at the end. Okay, well, then her first name is Eugene. No, it's Ann. Eugene Stanley. I said Ann. It was Ann. Maybe it's Ann. Anyway, I just want to be on the record as saying I don't care. Yes, you do care. Listen to you. You're saying it's forced. You're saying, why didn't he do it two years ago? No, no, no. You care. Here's what I don't care about. If the guy was born in Kenya, I don't care. He's the president. It's too late now. It's too late. He's the president. It's too late to apologize. This isn't a deal to me like it is to... Because I knew about it two years ago. I didn't make a fuss about it. What I think is funny is the logic that goes behind...
It's beneath me to talk about it. And then, well, it's not beneath me now. That's not what he said. That's not what he said. That's not what he said. Obama ever just changed his mind? Oh, boy. Well, the guy, one of the guys that was tooting this birther thing louder than anybody else was Donald Trump. The Trump. And he held a press conference. The weirdo. So wait till you hear this. Wait till you hear this. That stuff's hooey. You gotta have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Call 570-9. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got the world on a tail. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Yeah, boy! On FM 94.9. The beat is over. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Now hang me out!
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This report brought to you by Wawanisa Insurance. Wawanisa's recent change in car rates. Many San Diego good drivers could save even more by switching. Call 877-WA-WANESA or go to WawanisaUS.com. Looks like the 15 southbound between the 9th Avenue area, Center City Parkway, pretty slow in the mid-40s. Also, the 805 drive on the southbound side between Claremont Mesa Boulevard, El Cajon, starting to bunch up this morning. This report also brought to you by the California Highway Patrol. If you're driving, texting, checking Facebook. or returning emails and they catch you, you're going to get a ticket if you don't kill yourself first. It's not worth it. A message from the California Highway Patrol. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I got a box of, you know, stuff in the mail because I like to shop on the internet. Lauren. I know all the rules. I just break them. Woods. I don't like to work out with people. I don't like to play video games with people and I don't like to work out with them. Zienna. I made reservations for us last night. And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. on FM 94.9. Donald Trump gave a press conference yesterday and was talking about the president holding a press conference yesterday to show his Kinko's document that he was born in the United States. You are a clown, sir. You're such a conspiracy theorist. You're the biggest conspiracy theorist. I know. Is this createyourdesignonline.com?
Yes, this is Jared. Hey, Jared. My name is Phil. Hello, Phil. Hi. I'm trying to play a prank on a friend. Okay. And he believes that Obama was born in the United States. He was in Hawaii, actually. Honolulu. And so what I want to do is I want to tease him by giving him a birth certificate from... Hawaii. Okay. So will you create a design online for me that's, Phil, for my friend John. Sure. Of Barack Obama's birth certificate? Yeah, I can do that. I need it to look very real. What I'll do is I'll pull the picture of the real one that's online and I'll just photocopy that one and email that over to you. Well, it doesn't exist yet. See, I'm going to give a, I mean. My friend. Excuse me. Is this Phil? Yes. This is Conspirators Inc. How are you? I was just following up to the message that you left me. You know that that's my soft spot. And I just got off the phone with the federal government. They're in.
And all the news stations, they're in. And pretty much everyone involved in the White House are all in. You're going to go. I refuse to be a conspiracy theorist. Do you? I do. I can't. Why do you have a copy of Mel Gibson's movie, Conspiracy Theory, sitting next to your computer as we speak? With a heart around his face. With a heart around his face. Why am I wearing a trucker hat that says, I believe Obama was born in Kenya? Yes. And I'm a conspiracy theorist. And on the back it says, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. No. Here's what it says on the front. On the front it says, I believe that Obama was born in Kenya. And then on the back of the hat it says, but I don't care. He's president. What are you going to do? Don't you care? You do. No, I don't. Not now. Yes, you do. And the reason I don't care now is because I can't do anything. I'll tell you when I cared. I cared before the election. Okay. Before the election I thought. Wait a minute. When I heard about it, I was like, if that's true, that he was not born in the United States, he can't be president. Did you hear about that at your birther meeting? Was that at your Trump fundraising rally? No. And I have to be honest with you. Where I heard it from was not like, you know, some credible thing. I'll be honest. Weird. It wasn't. It wasn't credible. It looked really good and sharp, what I was reading. TMZ? No, it wasn't TMZ. Perez Hilton.
But whatever, no, it wasn't like a gossip website. It was like a news, you know, like a news geek thing, like a smoking gun type of deal. It was Joe from Escondido's blog. No. You read. But whatever it was, was not, you know, like a national news agency. This type of stuff makes me all the way more in on our president. And I'm like, yep, voting for you again. Me too. Since the presidency has now descended into TMZ-like gossip columns. Yeah, I think it's lame. I'm all the way in. I think it's lame, and I don't think that he should be talking about it either. But I don't think he should be talking about it. I mean, I thought he was taking the right approach in the first place to just going... Did you think, though, because you were one of the proponents of, hey, if you've got it, show him. If he was going to do it, he should have done it already. But his approval rating is low right now, and you've got someone that is, like, he's at the start of his new campaign, his new presidential campaign, and you've got Donald Trump, who might not be an actual worthy opponent to him that's going to be able to beat him, but he might be able to rock the boat. Just enough. Just enough, yep.
Well, here's what Donald Trump said yesterday at a press conference after Obama announced that he had his birth certificate. I'm very proud of myself. Weird. Isolate. Just enough says. Can we isolate that? I'm very proud of myself. I'm very proud of myself. I was just informed while on the helicopter that our president has finally released a birth certificate. I'd want to look at it, but I hope it's true so that we can get on to much more important matters so the press can stop asking me questions. He should have done it a long time ago.
Why he didn't do it when the Clintons asked for it. Why he didn't do it when everybody else was asking for it. I don't know. But I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role. Hopefully, hopefully getting rid of this issue. Now, we have to look at it. We have to see, is it real? Is it proper? What's on it? But I hope it checks out beautifully. I am really proud. I am really honored. Now we can talk about oil. We can talk about gasoline prices. We can talk about China ripping off this country. We can talk about OPEC doing numbers on us like nobody has ever done before. We can get on to issues. And hopefully when I sit down with interviews, people don't start talking about birth certificate, birth certificate like they've been doing. So I feel I've accomplished something really, really important, and I'm honored by it. I'm very proud of myself because I've accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish.
Proud of myself. That's awesome. Oh, my God. How do you start any sentence like that? Yeah. How do you start? That's a tough thing to do. Like, you've got to have some kind of rocks. Brass balls. No. Brass balls means that you're, you know, you're, you're, you got courage. Courage, yeah. You know, like, you're courageous. He just thinks he's the best. And he doesn't care what other people think. He thinks he's the best. He's a big flapping douchebag. Flapping. He's a flapping douche. Is his hair blowing off? God, dude. I'm sorry, man. Listen. Even if you are proud of yourself, you're not supposed to go... I'm very proud of myself. You're not supposed to. Puffing out your chest. Take your pants off, Donald. M1 Watchdog from Vista. Hey, good morning, guys. Good morning. I was listening to the radio last night on another channel. Sorry. They were talking about a discussion in a lot of these birther topics. They said that the place that he was born didn't originate until, like, 74, not in 61. He doesn't have the same Social Security number that he was born with. Even though I know for a fact, we all do, he was born in the U.S. He went through this as a senator as well.
It just wasn't mainstream. So he had the answer for all this. But L.O.B. said it right. He's coming up in an election. He's going to be tackling immigration. He's going to be tackling borders. He's going to be tackling the war, everything. He's going to do anything he can to get back up on to get his votes up. And he's got a horrible approval rating right now. Horrible, horrible. But he was born in the U.S. People need to stop this and literally focus on something that's very important. Yeah. Wow. All right. Thanks. Have a good one. Thanks. Fellow comedian friend said that Obama's new campaign song should be Bruce Springsteen's Born in the United States. That's hysterical. I thought that was pretty funny. That'd be great. That would be hysterical. He walks out to that. I thought that was funny. Oh, my gosh. It's great. Let's see. So yesterday we were talking about hot sauce because we want to make a punishment. And for one of the things like our next lyrical chairs, when we play games, sometimes we have to have a consequence. And the consequence was going to be hot sauce. Because Woods, and by the way, just to pull the curtain back, we've talked about the possibility of hot sauce being a consequence since we began this program a year and a half ago. And Woods has said no, no, no. Because...
When Woods puts those little Listerine strips in his mouth, it makes it too hot for him. He actually cried. I literally cried. So he can't really use hot sauce. I'll do hot stuff, really. Makes him upset. And so he agreed, okay, I'll do it. And Jay said, all right, well, let's use some of the hot sauce we have here. And I said, well, I think the hot sauce we have here is wimpy. And Woods is like, easy, you know, Mr. Enchilada. Mr. Mexican. Yeah. And I was like, but I think all we have is Tabasco-like products. And Jay was like, no, hang on a second. Hang on, hang on, hang on. And so Jay came in with this bottle of some stuff that did it, man. It looked pretty hot. You saw how he was holding the bottle with a paper towel on top of it. He was holding it with a paper towel on top of it, but he took the paper towel off of it and he handed it to me. I looked at it. I said, yeah, it does look hot. I handed it back to him without the paper towel. And he handled it. And he walked out of the studio. He put it down. And he had to leave a little bit early yesterday. Happy birthday, Jay. Happy birthday. I had to go pick my wife up from the hospital. So I was... Sounds like a good reason to leave. Yeah. So I was...
I was laying on our beanbag. Woods was sitting where I'm sitting. It was after the show was over and we were having our show meeting. And my cell phone rang and it was Jay. And Woods answered it and went, hello? And Jay could tell it wasn't me, but he didn't care. He still talked to... I was in pain. He didn't know who it was. He didn't know if it was Woods imitating him or L.O.B. He didn't care. He just said, hey, listen. I don't care who the hell to see us. You need to know. Tell Mackie not to go to the restroom because I just did. Touched him a piece and it's on fire. It was on fire. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. What I really said was wash your hands. Wash your hands because hit me. I'm on fire. My wiener's on fire. I was dancing in the... Wiener time. Have you seen my wiener? I was dancing in my seat driving. I was like...
I was dancing in my seat. I was dancing in my seat. My little wiener's on fire because I used some desire. Because I feel the heat. And I am dancing in my seat. Yet more proof, everybody, to my original hypotheses of what I witnessed on the golf course. Jay handling his wiener. when he goes to the bathroom. He said that he did not... Are you kidding me? He says he uses his boxers and holds his boxers on. He doesn't. Trust me. Let's stop there. And the reason I want to stop there is because I don't want it to go into a description. Right. But, you know... Proof. Who cares how Jay holds his boxers? There's no way. I don't care. I know. Clearly, it just doesn't magically... Jump out. I do think that Woods, let me just say this in Woods' defense. Woods has a point. Jay does his business in a most unusual and curious way. I don't think he does. I've seen it. You girls are not fellas. He has to use his fingers to take it out. I've seen it. I'm a fella and Woods is a fella.
I've seen my fella go to the bathroom. I've seen it a million times. Two guys who sit to go to the bathroom. Except when we go to the urinal. You guys sit to pee. When we go to the urinal together, we do not. You don't just drop trowel and then just let everything all hang out. You just get mad because I put my finger in your ear while you're going. I put my arm around him. You guys are weird. So awful. Maybe you guys go in the stalls from now on when you go together. Yesterday we were in there and Woods was in a stall, door open. He always does that. Stall, door open. When he has to go numero uno. Wait a minute. Just, please. Oh, gosh. So he's in there and he's going numero uno. He's got the stall door open. I'm at a urinal. Yes. We're the only two people in the bathroom while Julian walks in. Hello, me. Hello. L.O.B. Our controller. Our controller. Handsome guy. African-American. Longer than it's ever been. L.O.B. Good Lord. L.O.B., you cannot say things like that. You can't say that, L.O.B. How does he get these things? Your hair is longer than it's ever been. Yes, that's where he took that from. I don't know how he gets them. You just said it. Sign me up for that. Anyway, Julian walked in and he goes, hey guys.
Woods goes, hey, what's going on? He's like, oh, not too much. And I was dead silent. That'll work. Strange. I can't speak when I'm at the urinal. I cannot speak. So why do you guys go to the bathroom together? All the time. We speak to each other. Oh, yeah. I can speak to Woods. He's not a stranger, but not somebody that you're not really comfortable with. I can't. That is it. Unless I'm really comfortable with the person. You're a four-year-old. Mike, you need to get over that. We're all grown up little kids. Especially you. Especially me. It was funny. Mike didn't say a word. I felt weird, but... I was like, and the interesting thing, Mike, he was standing right next to you at the next urinal. And he's like, hey, how you guys doing? He must have thought you were mean. Yeah. He probably did. You should apologize right now on the air. It's like uncontrollable. You should send him a gift basket or something. Or just I'll do like a singing telegram or something. Yeah, you should do that. Stripogram. Say what up, black people. Oh, that's what happened yesterday. What else?
Nothing happened to me. Well, Mike, you forgot the best part of Jay's story. What? That he had to go to clean house when he got to pick up Kim. Oh, yeah. He picked her up at the doctor's office. My wife was waiting for me on a gurney and I had to rush into the bathroom first and wash down because it was... Oh, poor Jay. There was a super fire. There was a super fire going on. Unbelievable. Poor Jay. My goodness. Unbelievable. Poor Kim. Hey, can we leave? She's like in a gurney waiting to go home and he's in there washing his... Babe, hang on. I got some hot sauce on my piece. Free water here. I ain't gonna pay for this water. They had really nice soap. Imagine coming into that bathroom and I'm at the sink. Ew. Sorry, fellas. Sorry. You're up next, but... Oh, boy. You're a birther. Oh, boy. Wasn't Kate Hudson just feeding popcorn to Derek Jeter at the Super Bowl? No. Who was that? Cameron Diaz and A-Rod. Alex Rodriguez. Oh, it was Cameron Diaz and A-Rod. Close, though. A blonde and a Yankee. Walking to a bar. Kate Hudson was with A-Rod. She was with Alex Rodriguez? Yeah, like a year ago. It was when they won the World Series in 2009. It was fabulous. Ever just trapped the lead singer of a band? Well, here's the thing, you know. She's engaged, and she's engaged to the lead singer of a band. I'm not going to say who. Are they engaged?
You can't say? Sorry. I'm going to when we come back. It was out of my mouth before. It was out of my mouth. Well, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it when we come back. I think people are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes are huge. On Saturday, May 14th, The Mikey Show and M1's takeover Qualcomm Stadium from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Operation Street Impact. The Mikey Show sticker is in. And maybe for your ride, it will receive surprise. We've got a his and her mountain bike from Haro. A brand new Ibanez guitar. A 42-inch plasma with 5.1 surround sound. And Blu-ray player. Plus, we're adding new prizes daily. And did we mention a brand new $24,000 FXDB Harley from San Diego Harley Davidson? Impact 94. Founder of Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Angelo De Monte. You know, we're very proud of being in Escondido.
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If you're ready to get the most out of every drop, it's time to drive a fuel-efficient Ford from your San Diego County Ford dealer. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com. EPA estimated 40 mpg highway for 2011 Fiesta SE with SFE. 40 mpg for 2012 Focus SE with SFE. 41 city mpg for 2011 Fusion Hybrid. Ranger claim based on 2.3 liter manual two-wheel drive. Excludes vehicles built for Mazda. F-150 claim refers to standard 3.7 liter V6. Actual mileage will vary. This report, it's brought to you by McDonald's. It's back. You can quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks, only 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. Heading into Escondido, just a lot of slowing right now. The 15 southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway, it's in the single digits. Also, the 805 that drive through Bonita, the northbound side between Bonita Road and 47th Street, that's in the mid-30s. five and the eight. This report also brought to you by Shell. All three grades of Shell gasoline contain their nitrogen rich cleaning system to protect critical engine parts against performance robbing gunk. Try Shell nitrogen rich gas today. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not good at pretending. My women's intuition has never steered me wrong. Oh boy. Never.
Woods. I'm a cuddle bug. Zienna. I've never been on a school bus. And Jake. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. That weather, man. Makes me happy. Pretty color out there. Gorgeous. So conducive to napping in my bed. You know, I couldn't wait to get out of here yesterday because I wanted to open up my sunroof. And as soon as I got in the car, My phone is ringing off the hook, and I can't. Can't do it. I can't do it, you know? And they were important calls. The whole way home, none of it. Just longingly looking at it. Today I'm turning that ringer off, man, and I'm enjoying the sunshine. I need to talk to you right after the show. No, you do not. Yes, I do. We have some important stuff to talk about. Which is why I think I would love to get a Harley. I put as my status on Facebook.
I can't stop thinking about getting a Harley. I felt so good on that bike, you know, because when we went into the Harley-Davidson dealership, I sat on the FXDB that we're giving away at OSI. And New York Mike, the owner of San Diego Harley-Davidson, he wants to hook me up with lessons and everything. And I really, I want to do this. I enjoy driving. Yes. I enjoy driving. Like, driving to me in my car is an escape for me. And I'll just go drive. And I'm thinking, a cool motorcycle, like that takes that to the next level. Nothing like it. It's a cruise. And so I'm getting all these comments and people are going, yeah, man, yeah, man, yeah, man, yeah, man. And then like way at the bottom, after 27 comments or so, my wife just writes, huh? That was my first question. What does Rebecca think? I was thinking that. I almost brought it up at dinner last night and I thought the dinner table, it's just not.
It's not the right place. It's not the right place. It's not going to happen. You know your spouse. You know dynamics. Did you think, okay, I'm going to put it on Facebook and let's see what Rebecca says. Yeah. Can I take a policy out on you? You just ride around your neighborhood. You ever just have your bubble burst? You, you're an impressionable young man. Oh. Give me a break. Are you not? But I like to ride. I like to drive. Yes, you do. I like to drive. Dude, I'm on your side. I think I would really love it. I think it would be life-changing for me. There's no question. I think it would change my life. Riding a motorcycle is so fun. Especially during the hours we go to work because there's not very many people on the road. And on a day like this. Gorgeous. Me and you take it up to Soul Dad's, Mount Soul Dad's bag of McDonald's, make it right up there.
Oh, my God. You guys broke in your leather chaps. You won't be able to eat fries on the road anymore. That's okay. That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Take it up there after work. Fresh bag of Mickey D's. I didn't see that coming, Woods. You could sit in a sidecar with. Oh, fun. You see what's going on in the news? Well, you guys, she made it. Representative Gabrielle Gifford has flown on a NASA jet from her rehab hospital in Houston to She did this yesterday and made it to Florida, where she will be attending the launch of the space shuttle Endeavor on Friday afternoon, tomorrow afternoon, which is being commanded by her husband, Mark Kelly. So, of course, if she could make it, she would be there. L.O.B. is pretending to be Gifford. Yes. Can't lift her own thumb, and so Woods helps her lift her thumb. And then points at my thumb for the crowd to see. She gives my own thumbs up. She got the okay from doctors, and this is the first time she's been out of hospitals since. Since she was shot in the head on January 8th. Safe move. I thought you said shot in the head. I did. Oh. She's recovering and doing great. That's why the doctor said it's okay. She's fully recovered. Let's rush her out and get her down to Florida. But the doctors, you probably know better than the doctors. Right. No, no, you said because you rushed her out. The doctor said it was okay, though. They said it was okay, but maybe not. Do you think doctors ever release people early?
Maybe not advisable. So you know better than doctors? No, I don't know better than doctors. No, I don't know better than doctors. Does it say L-O-B, P-H-D, does it? No, it says M-D. Oh, it says M-D. You must know. Also, the family of the doctor who delivered President Obama. As we know, he released his certificate of live birth yesterday. Everyone's been able to see it. And including the family, because it lists who the doctor was. The gynecologist, OB-GYN, whatever you want to call it. And the family had no idea that... because the doctor had passed away already. He passed away in 2003 at the age of 81 and his family said, oh my gosh, we are blown away and honored by the news. Weird that they didn't know. How would they know? They hadn't seen it. What's he? Yes. What's going on with the Padres? Well, yeah. The San Diego Padres are now officially the worst team in the major leagues. They're 4-11 at home. They're 9-16 overall. Oh, wow. Yeah, Matt Latos. Matt Latos was a Cy Young candidate last year. Dating back to last year now, you guys, he has lost his last nine starts. Oh, wow. What happened? I don't know. He's a phenom. He was a phenom. I don't know what's going on. They're saying maybe it's a mechanical problem. They're trying to speed him up. But, yeah, they're not great right now.
You know, the only place to go is up. It's very disappointing, man. I was very excited about this lineup. And they're just not hitting, man. A lot of the pitching has been really, really, really great. They don't score any runs. They got shut out again yesterday. I believe it's their seventh shutout this year. And it's just, it's not clicking right now. So, still got to get out and support your bunch. Don't laugh. It sucks. Well, of course we do. It sucks. You know. It sucks. Maybe they're getting it out of the way now. Get it out of the way now. Get hot later is what I am hoping for. But, man, they got – I'm almost thinking we're almost at the time where there's got to be a shakeup. Yeah. It's early still, but you've got to have a little shakeup. You mean in the rotation? Not in the rotation, in the lineup. Say, hey, man, you're not cutting the mustard. You're out. All right. You're out. Yeah. Yeah. It's time to get. Also, there was a plea deal offered for the Washington Redskins' Albert Hainsworth. Basically, the story was that he went to a restaurant. This is crazy. Went to a restaurant. The waitress had her hands full. So he took his credit card, slid it down the front of her blouse, also caressed her breast. She was none too happy about it. Hainsworth responded, quote, I didn't touch her. I don't even like black girls. I know what this is about. She's just upset I have a white girlfriend. I couldn't tell you the last time I dated a black girl. She was trying to get with me. That's a quote.
from Albert Hainsworth in the court documents. He has declined the plea deal and is going to fight this charge. Well, that sounds like a kind of thing where there'd be a lot of witnesses, no? I think there were a lot of people at dinner with them, but they're all witnesses for him. They're all his boys, I guess. Well, unless she's got somebody that says that they saw it, too. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, for sure. He's fair as fair. I don't care what kind of dirtbag he is. she's got to have somebody corroborate that story. Right. I mean, right, Woods? Yeah, for sure. I mean, dirtbag or not, you got to have somebody corroborate that story. Otherwise, can't I say that you did that? Well, I didn't do that. I know, but can't I say that you did it? You can say it. I can say it, but it can't hold up in court unless I got other people that go, yep, that's true. Yeah, so he is going to fight the charges. Now, maybe he did do it. And if he did, then he's a dirtbag and he deserves to have the book thrown at him. Yep. But what if she knows exactly who he is, knows exactly what kind of dirtbag he is, and wants to get a little dough? That could be true, too. You never know. No, no, no. Yeah, absolutely. Anything could be true. Anything could be true. Hopefully, she's got somebody to corroborate it. Otherwise, she could be in trouble. An M1 is somebody that loves The Mikey Show so much.
That they will have the New York Yankees tattooed across their forehead just to appear more Woods-like. Do it. They will get into stand-up comedy just to be more like L.O.B. They will brown their bodies to look more Hispanic. To be like me. Soul man. They will increase their breast size. To be like Sienna. And me. And you. And me. And Woods. You actually kill three birds with one stone there. That's right. Don't hit on me if you do that. They will literally kill three birds with one stone to be more like Jake. Yeah, that's true. To have dinner for the family. For dinner. That's right. That's what an M1 is. That's what an M1 does. An M1 craves it. What does that mean? Craves what? Craves what? You know what I mean. It. It. When have we ever talked about it? It. It or like craves. Craves. We haven't really touched on it. My skin's crawling. How come when he does that, people respond positively on Facebook? Because that doesn't make sense to me. That doesn't make any sense to me at all. They love it. They just love it. I don't understand it. They love it. It doesn't make one bit of sense. It doesn't have it. There's nothing logical. Jay can do no wrong. In that, to me. And ones don't crave it? Really? Crave what? It. I think you know. It. It.
Kate Hudson yesterday on the Today Show. Could you place your hand in my hand for a second, please? I just want to see something. Is this new? This is new. Congratulations. Thank you. It just happened a week ago. I'm so glad you noticed. How can you not notice that ring? The camera member is saying, can someone turn the lights off on her hand, please? I haven't really announced it. I kind of felt like the announcing thing feels so silly. You know what I mean? I'm just waiting for somebody to notice. So this is the first time we've talked about it. Do you have a date? I don't. Tell all. Just remind people who this isn't some random guy off the street. Yeah, no, no. Matt Bellamy. He's a beautiful man and I'm excited. But I think we're just sort of going to sit into the baby thing for a little bit. Wow. How did he propose? I've got to tell you that. Come on. You've already broken the news here. No. It was very sweet. It was very sweet. It was very romantic. The ring is nine carats. That's what I'm hearing. That's some Muse money, man. Muse. Muse. Muse. She likes musicians. Yeah, she does. Musicians. She likes just about everyone, but I guess she gets hitched with musicians. She likes musicians the most. Muse-ish-ins the most.
She was with Chris Robinson. They have a seven-year-old together, Ryder. This is her second child, second marriage. Feels real good. For a guy in the beginning, like wants to go out, is just hilarious and fun. Very adventurous, maybe. Adventurous, down for a lot of things. But then maybe a little crazy. After a while. I don't see a lot of longevity in it. No. Why? What is that even? Because I'm on tour, Michael. I'm on tour. You don't see longevity in it. Why not? Because I tour all the time. That doesn't make any sense, though, guy from Muse. My name is Michael Bellamy. Whatever. You're a guy from Muse. Muse. Muse! It seems like Muse is really on the brink of... I mean, they're already huge. They're huge. But there's going to be crazy tours.
Lots of women. Loads of women. Don't see it. Loads of it. You know. So cynical. What if she's in love and they really are in love with her? Michael, we are in love right now. She's a serial dater and he seems like he maybe has only got one small slice of the pie. Michael, have you heard of a shotgun wedding? No, what is it? You know I've knocked her up, right? No, I didn't know that. Is that true fact? She's pregnant. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She trapped him. No, I didn't know. I was trapped. Trapped him? Trapped him. Kurt Russell called me and said, if you don't marry him, it'll blow your head off. Kurt Russell's not married to her mom. Right, but it's her father in a sense. But they're still not married. It's fine. Hey, Muse guy. Do you think she trapped you? Yeah, whatever. You think she trapped you? Yes, we took Quaaludes one night. Do you think she went off to birth control? Yes, I woke up. She was pregnant. She was pregnant like right then and there? Right away. Very strong. Very strong sperm. Okay. Yes. It was like trout or something. Correct. So what did you do? You woke up the next day and you said, hey, can you take a pregnancy test? Correct. EPT. Correct. You just went down to the drugstore and then the hormone for pregnancy showed up that fast? Immediately. How do you know it was a false, you know, you should do it again. We took another one. Took another one? Yes. She's pregnant and so I'm marrying her. She's showing, so. Well, Muse Guy, I'm going to tell you this right now.
L.O.B. doesn't think it's going to last. I agree with L.O.B. 100%. Even you agree. There's no question. That it won't last. She's a crazy bird. I'm Kate Hudson. Hi, Kate. I don't think it's going to last. You don't think it's going to last either? No, no. But you've got a big old engagement ring on you. I know. I like to collect them. You collect the... I collect rock stars and I collect... Ball players. Don't forget ball players. Alex Rodriguez. More so, you know, I collect children from rock stars. Wow. That's so... It's quite a collection, Michael. You're trying to get your own band together. Eventually, they grow up, you have a whole band. Or a baseball team. She likes the athletes. She's a bit of a jock sniffer as well. Yeah, but I'm going to go after the guy from... She's much like Woods. Yeah. It'd be safe to say I'm a jock sniffer. Fair enough. Talk about a super band you're putting together there. No kidding. I know, I know. She needs some guitar players, though. Just a couple singers. Maybe the guy from Kings of Leon. Ooh. Yeah. Could be. So, in a little bit, we're going to be playing some Tom Tom tunes. She wanted to get to this because I thought that this was pretty funny.
Sienna said that she was going on a bike ride with her stepdaughter, Jenna, who's nine. Ten now. Ten now. Yesterday, they were going on a bike ride. And they were leaving the house, and Jenna asked Sienna why she's got to wear a little helmet if Sienna doesn't wear one. She should be. And Sienna told her that she thinks that it's the law for kids to wear helmets, but it's not the law for adults to wear the helmets. I think that's the case. And her question made Sienna think, you know, she didn't want to be that parent who teaches do as I do, not as I do as I say, not as I do. Lead by example. But she also doesn't want to wear a bike helmet because, you know, she knows that helmets are very important. But she's riding a beach cruiser and she thinks that she'll look like a dork in a helmet. I will. No, you won't. And she wants to know if she's a monster. Who cares?
I guess Sienna does, you know, about the way. I know, but like, okay. What, are you on a fashion shoot? No, she's on a bike. I know, I know. Do you? And helmets are important. I wear helmets for every sport that I participate in. What? Except surfing. When I climb, I wear a helmet. Anytime I'm on my bike, I know a girl who flipped off her bike, just piling along, just like on a beach cruiser, flipped over the handlebars, split her head wide open. Was in the hospital for three months. Just cruising. I mean, you make a mistake. My brother broke his jaw by flying over his handlebars, too. Would that have been, you know, different if he wore a helmet? Probably not. He had a helmet on. He had a helmet on. Still hit his chin. But he could have been more injured had he not been wearing a helmet. And so, I mean, I do feel bad that I don't wear one. But I'm just picturing Jay riding down the street in his beach cruiser with a helmet on. I just, I don't do anything, you know, crazy. I just down the street. Yeah. It's not going on a slalom. I'm not climbing mountains on my bike. I know that I should, but I don't on my cruiser. If I take a mountain bike and I go like on the road, I'll wear a helmet. Of course you don't, LLB. You're not a messenger. I mean, what are you doing, Jay? You're delivering UPS envelopes. Don't shame him out of it. No, you couldn't. You couldn't do it. That's fine. I mean, hey, listen, I think that they're important, you know, and for kids.
There is no... There's no question. Why are kids more important than adults? They've got softer skulls, don't they? Yeah, and I don't know. Adults are more likely to catch themselves if they fall. Are they? I would think. Adults, I think, are less... You're higher center of gravity. Kids are closer to the ground. That's why they don't... They're fatter. Adults are fatter. Fall harder, as I'm saying. Here's the deal. I thought that if you go mountain biking... Yes. as an adult that it's super important that you wear it because you know you could fall there's rocks around and stuff but i thought and you know i'm learning what if you get hit by a car yeah i mean that's i guess i could any number of things your tire could blow out you can hit a rock you could get distracted you really should any sort of like wheeled sport like that you really should even skateboarding i know somebody that hit you know a little bump and Unfortunately, passed away. Oh, wow. I've never worn a helmet ever. I mean, I don't do a lot. I wear a helmet when I play baseball. Maybe you should. I feel bad now. What about knee pads and elbow pads? Do you wear that? I don't think that's not where I keep my brain, though. I mean, you know, if I break my arm, I break my arm. But your head. That's a good point. That's where you keep your brain. I'm about to like get a helmet now. I know I should do it. I know I should. It's so dorky. No, I'm just saying.
Philosophically. Philosophically, yeah. And you'd be all about Luke, Ryan, and Jake. Of course. All wearing helmets. Of course. But if Rebecca got a beach cruiser and decided to ride around the neighborhood and she wasn't wearing a helmet, right now I wouldn't be like, babe, what are you doing? I don't know. Me neither. But maybe he's convincing me. So when is it okay for you to stop wearing them if you're a kid? 18. I think the law says a certain age. In New Jersey it was 16. Yeah. I don't know what it is here. We don't know. I mean, I don't know. Because it gets harder to convince your kids that it's a good idea. Because Finn now rides his bike everywhere, and he won't. Don't know what that was. Don't have a clue what that was. That was odd. Somebody just knocked on our speakers. Yeah. That sounded like a wild boar ran in the studio. Finn doesn't wear a helmet now? Finn won't wear a helmet. He's how old? 19. He is 19. And I'm just like, dude, come on. He's 19. I'm not going to wreck. I'm not going to wreck. I'm like, yeah, but he flies on that bike, too. I see him come around a corner. He's just. Like father, like son. Okay, let me say this. If it were me, I wouldn't feel that I need to wear a helmet. I'll tell you why. I'm really a scaredy cat. Cautious. I'm very cautious. I don't take chances. I don't do crazy things. But a car could hit you. On the sidewalk? That's where I'm going to be. You can't ride on the sidewalk. I feel like if you were to fall, you would not be a good faller. Okay, a bike lane.
Don't they have bike lanes? Yeah, but cars still veer in there. Can I throw one thing out there? Sure. It's for real. There is a study conducted that sometimes drivers, if you're going past like bicyclists and you see them wearing a helmet, you're going to be less cautious around them because you feel like they're safe. Yeah, so sometimes it kind of evens itself out because the drivers will be like, if they see someone without a helmet all willy-nilly, they're going to be like, okay, careful. Easy does it. Okay, here's what we need. We need people to line up on the phones right now at 570-1949 and play TomTom tunes. Because when we come back, we're going to be playing some TomTom tunes. We have a TomTom device. She'll read some lyrics to you. And you just have to tell us title or artist in order to win. And what is the deal? Okay, so Judge Judy fainting in her studio. And 911, I got a 911 audio of the call made. Paris Hilton's boyfriend being attacked. And audio rolling when he gets attacked outside the Van Nuys courtroom. Audio rolling. We've got it. Wow. We've got all that coming back. Yes. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The wait is over. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion.
Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. Tickets are only $35 with no additional fees. $1 of every ticket sold will go to the About the Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at independencejam.com or at fm949sd.com. 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th. Listen, what are you going to do? You get your mom a frame for Mother's Day? Oh, look. Another frame. So nice. I've only gotten 18 frames from you.
Your entire life. You're 14 years old. Why does your mom have such a deep voice? Because she's just, she's so bored with the frame. She's like Damone. Yeah. Why is your mom Damone? Oh, great. It's another frame. It probably is. It probably is. Oh, I'm going to open this present. I wonder what it is. I wonder if it's a frame. It probably is. Why don't you call Pro Flowers? 1-800-PRO-FLOWERS. And then say, I heard this on the Mikey show. Or why don't you go to proflowers.com and then click on the little microphone on the upper right-hand corner and type in Mikey Show and get a great deal for 100 blooms for mom and a free glass vase for $19.99. It's an incredible price. $19.99. It's proflowers.com.
55,000 seats sold out in minutes for the biggest UFC event of all time. The Ultimate Fighting Championship presents UFC 129. Here we go! Two title fights and a legendary showdown of former champions. Six years undefeated with 15 straight victories, former Strikeforce champion Jake Shields meets the greatest welterweight of all time. Undisputed champion George St. Pierre and one of the most vicious strikers in the world, featherweight champion Jose Aldo makes his UFC debut against Mark the Machine Hominick. Plus, Hall of Famer Randy the Natural Couture battles Leoto the Dragon Mashida. Tap Out presents UFC 129 from Rogers Center in Toronto. Live this Saturday night, only on pay-per-view. Visit 129.ufc.com for details. Cards subject to change. Or using your Cox Remote Control by tuning to Channel 501 or HD on Channel 798 after 5.30 p.m. on Saturday. Enjoy the fight.
In the military, success depends on having a plan to deal with whatever might come next. The same holds true when it comes to owning a vehicle, which is why you should call 877-265-8722 and learn about AutoCircle from USAA, a service that covers every aspect of owning a vehicle for those who have honorably served and their immediate families. Take insurance, for example. AutoCircle.com lets you update vehicles on your USAA policy right from your computer or iPhone. Members who switch to USAA Auto Insurance save an average of $450 a year. Start saving today. Call 877-265-8722 or visit autocircle.com today for details. It's easy, it's free, and it's USAA. Savings based on a 2009 countrywide survey of new customers. Discount not available in Massachusetts. Restrictions, fees, and costs apply to certain Auto Circle products. Insurance by United Services Automobile Association, San Antonio, Texas. Good things come to those who wait. And if you've been waiting to get a BMW 3 Series, now you can. The BMW Encinitas demo sales drive is back. Save thousands on our entire fleet of pre-owned service loaners.
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therapy treatments. Ovation is proud to be a San Diego partner with City of Hope's Walk for Hope, presented nationally by Staples. Join the thousands nationwide, committed to ending women's cancers. Be a part of this fundraising event Saturday, May 21st, and help raise money for research, treatment, and education. To sign up for Walk for Hope, visit walkforhope.org. To learn how Ovation Cell Therapy can work for you, log on to OvationHair.com and watch the testimonials or visit the Ovation Mike, what's with that big dude guarding your front door? Hey, Jimmy. Oh, Nick's my new bouncer. Why the heck do you need a bouncer for your apartment? Well, ever since I got Coors Light Home Draft, it's like having a bar right at home. Figured I'd go the whole nine yards. Coors Light Home what? Coors Light Home Draft. It's fresh, frostbrew draft beer on tap right from my fridge. Here, have one. Oh, so that explains the peanut shells all over the floor. And the pretzels. And the jukebox. And I can have Coors Light on draft whenever I want, just like a real bar. Hey, guys. Who's that? Oh, that's Gina, my new cocktail waitress. Nice. The Coors Light Home Draft. CO2 pressurized to give you up to 30 days of fresh, frostbrew draft beer right from your fridge. It's draft beer on tap anytime you want.
Can I get you boys another beer? Dude, this is one sweet setup. I know, totally. Home Draft from Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. The Home Depot's made a special buy on Earth Grow by Scott's Color Advantage Mulch. Three bags are just $10, which means you can cover more garden for less. More savings, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. This report is brought to you by Allstate. April showers can bring wet roads, more accidents. So before you get behind the wheel, put yourself in good hands, dollar for dollar. Nobody protects you like Allstate. Lots of slowing everywhere in Escondido on the 15 southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway. It's stop and go in that area. Careful as you travel on the 5 southbound before Lucadia Boulevard. There is an injury accident there. Car and a motorcycle in the number three lane. It is blocked. The motorcycle is on the right shoulder. Other cars have pulled over as well. Looks like that rider is okay. He's up and walking around. We've got a metal bar that's causing some issues on the 15 southbound after Mission Road. It's in the number three lane. This report, it's also brought to you by Hammer Mill Paper. Hammer Mill Paper, backed by a 99.99% jam-free guarantee. Don't you wish traffic was? Hammer Mill, no worries. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.
Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf, 448 Thursday morning. Brought to you by Joe Roper Surf for Repair. Today we were seeing a decrease, but still a fun combination of swells, primarily out of the west-northwest, windy grounds full directions, touches southwest lingering as well. Surf may be down a notch from yesterday, but still looking at fun-sized surf, waist chest high on average, shoulder high plus standout spots. Kind of a beach break sort of day with a crossed-up combination of swells. Reef breaks looking pretty shifty, however, they are still lightable at the lower tides. Conditions look to be pretty nice this morning with clearer skies, warmer air temperatures already, and some cleaner wind conditions, too. So a beach break to go is the call for this morning. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts go to surpline.com. For surfboard restoration and repair, it goes to Joe Roper. This surf report can only be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Mikey Show with Mikey. You know what? There's probably perfectly good trails right by where I live. I'm not getting on any of them. Lauren. I'm always the tipsy bridesmaid. I'm never the side. Woods. I can eat a trough of cattle.
Sienna. Is there anything better than taking an Oreo and dunking it in ice cold milk? And Jay. I am not a fan of the handgun. On FM 94.9. We got some TomTom tunes coming up here in just a second. This is M1 Lisa from Lakeside. Lisa, what was the word of the day? Frame. That is correct. You are a winner. You got a pair of tickets to see Chris Cornell May 6th at Humphreys. Yes. May. That's right. Hang on the line, please. Don't forget the first annual Ultimate M1 contest is going on. Take a picture of yourself being the Ultimate M1. You can incorporate any of the jokes that you hear on The Mikey Show. So, like, you could put yourself on a bro wearing a Serape and a Tommy Bahama shirt. You could be me. Whatever you want to do. Put hot sauce in your pants. You could be Jay.
That's what Jay did yesterday. It was an accident. Yeah, fiery. I hate to cut you off real quick, Mike. I just want to let you know there is an announcement from the Padres that they have, today is the day they are unveiling the new Padres Tommy Bahama shirt. Really? I knew that you would want to be first in line. Today is the day. Get some. Padres.com. Tommy Bahama Padres shirt. Yep. I wonder if Tommy will sign it for you since you guys are such good friends. No, he will. There's no question. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. You don't? Religiously. You kind of live it. Yeah, it's more of a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle. You know? Like a mantra. You don't. One times how many? Yeah. 75. One shirt a day. Yeah. One shirt. Yeah, you can only wear one shirt a day. One style of shirt, you know? Yeah. The button-down. The button-down short sleeve. With a wide collar. I don't wear that. Yes, you do. dozens of jackets that are Tommy Bahama. I know that much. Wearing a Dickies jacket right now. Over your Tommy Bahama. Over a white t-shirt. It said TB. You may think with songs you're super. So today's the day. Alright, let's go to our first contestant, M1 Rick from Escondido. Are you there?
I am here. All right. Tom Tom Girl, how are you doing today? I'm doing adequate, Mikey. Oh, wow. That does not sound good. But as you know, Tom Tom Girl is a machine. And so she answers very direct. Would you like me better if my name was Tom Tom Bahama? You know, Tom Tom Girl, there's no reason for you to join in on all that baloney. I don't like... Tommy Bahama stuff. I don't wear it. There's nothing wrong with Tommy Bahama. I just don't wear it. It's been made into a joke. Started at the old station I worked at. It's continued here. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. Your GPS device has palm trees on it and says TV limited edition. You can't get out of that one. It's not true. She wouldn't lie. It's an upgrade from my just standard black cover. LOP. It's because she said black. Black cover. Black cover, L.O.B. All right. Are you ready to play here, Rick? I'll give it a shot. 20 seconds. Title or artist. Here's the lyrics starting now. All the old paintings on the Tums. They do the sand dance. Don't you know if they move too quick? Oh, way, oh. They are falling down like a domino. All the bizarre men by the Nile. They got the money on a bed.
Gold crocodiles away-o. All we need is the name of the song or the artist for you to win. Is that Oingo Boingo? Oh. No. That was the Bengals. And walk like an Egyptian. So sorry, dude. We're going to video it. Hey! Can you believe that that was in America and it was popular and people liked it and it was like... The worst video ever made. It's a video of them doing that stupid King Tut in front of the dorkiest blue screen ever. I mean, it was so hot. The best was like the construction worker on the street. Yes. Susanna Hoff was so hot, she could have done anything. That's true. That's true. That's right. Let's see. We got M1 Casey from San Diego. Are you there? I'm here. Hi, Casey. Okay, you got 20 seconds, and all we need is title or artist, and here's the lyrics from the TomTom Girl. I see the kids in the street with not enough to eat. Who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their needs? A summer's disregard, a broken bottle top, and a one-man soul. They follow each other the wind, you know, because they got nowhere to go.
All I need is title or artist on that, Casey, and you're a winner. Oh, my God. I usually know it all. It was Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror. I wrote this song one time. Webster was over and we was camping in the backyard. This one time, me and Webster was playing hide-and-go-seek in the attic. And he was hiding in King Tut's tomb that I bought. Couldn't find him. What are you going to do? You can't find him. And so finally, I scared myself because I turned the corner in the attic because the attic was 13,000 square feet.
I turned the corner. What was there? A mirror. And I saw myself, and I was like, that should be a good song. Man in the Mirror. Because I scared myself so bad. You want to know why? Why? No one knows. Did you leave Webster up there? Because nobody's seen him since. Yeah, he's still in my attic. He's in the King Tut's tomb. The King Tut's tomb at Wonderland. Neverland? Neverland? Same thing. M1 Mike from Escondido. Are you there? Yes, sir. Okay, listen. 20 seconds. You got to give us the lyrics. You got to either give us the title of the song or the artist that sings it. You're going to get the lyrics from the TomTom Girl starting now. Yeah, I am sorry. I cannot afford a fear I read, but that do not mean I cannot get you there. I guess he's in the Xbox and I am more a TRE, but the way you play your game ain't fair. I pity the fool that falls in love with you.
Well, I have got some news for you. Yeah, go run and tell your little boyfriend. All I need is title or artist, Mike, in order for you to win. Do you know who that was? Oh, my gosh. I don't. I don't. CeeLo Green, forget you. and Webster was playing hide-and-go-seek in Liberace's underwear. That's disgusting. Wow. You can say whatever you want, but that's a true story. Was he in them? Liberace? Yeah. Yeah, I bought his bones, so he was still in them. He's still alive, isn't he? What, Liberace? Yeah. No. Is he dead? I think so. You ever just say stuff, both of you. He's been partying at my house. He's been dead for 47 years. I don't know about that.
Well, you're wearing a blanket in the studio, crazy man. Because it's freezing in here. This is Michael Jackson. Hello, Michael. Jay, you got your helmet and your knee pads on right now? Did you guys know... What are we doing, Michael? I mean, what sport? Did you know that Jay wears a knight's armor when he rides a skateboard? He's actually a knight. Yeah, I'm a knight. No big deal. Got a big sword. We're accepting medieval times. On guard. On guard? Touche. Touche. Oh, boy. What are you going to do? I've got a big sword. Subtle. Very subtle. Got a big sword. It's huge. Good. Night's not enough. Huh? Once a night is not enough.
His little giggle. So, Judge Judy. You ever watch Judge Judy, by the way? No. Yes. You never have? Yep. Oh, I have. Watched it, like, in the waiting room for the doctor's office. Never seen that. Watched it in Hawaii. Maybe go outside. I did. Maybe enjoy this beautiful song. I did. Go to Hawaii. I watched Judge Judy in Hawaii. You know, listen, here's the wrap on vacation. If you say that you saw something on television while you're on vacation, you're just a fat load. You're a monster. You know what I mean? You can't get around it. I mean, even if you saw 20 seconds of television.
At some point, you get tired of swimming in the ocean and having a day out. You come inside, you put the TV on, and if you tell anybody, they're like, what were you doing inside? What a waste. Yeah, what a waste. I was waiting to use the bathroom. Right. I'm sorry. We were going to dinner. The case that I saw, by the way, fantastic. What? It was fantastic. I wanted to take a piece of bread. and sop up this episode of Judge Judy. What? Wow. It was so good. This girl was suing a tattoo artist because her tattoo got infected. Where was it? I don't remember. I don't remember. I think it was, I don't remember. But anyway, Judge Judy is such a bee. Yes, she is. She cuts right to the chase. So she goes, she goes, Let me ask you a question. How long ago did you get this tattoo? And she goes, about three months ago. And she goes, who's the woman with you? Like she wants to kill the woman with you. Who's the woman with you? She's a registered nurse. She's a registered nurse? Do you know her personally? Yeah, she's also my mother-in-law. All right, what are you here for? What do you want to talk about? Well, I...
Took a look at it. You're a registered nurse. Do you have like certification as a registered nurse? Well, I'm going to nursing school now. So you're not a registered nurse. No, but I'm about four months. I don't care how many months away you are from it. Have you got your certification now? Are you certified now? No. Sit down then. I don't need to talk to you. Oh, wow. So she sits down and they go back and forth for a while. And then she says to the. Big giant tattooed guy from the tattoo parlor. Do you have anything? He goes, yeah, I brought this. I brought this release form that she signed. Let me see. She takes a look at it. And he had highlighted the part that said getting tattooed could result in getting infections. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she goes, is this your signature? Yes. You signed this? Yes. Why are we here? What are you doing here? Oh, wow. Well, I didn't expect it to get infected. I don't care. You got a tattoo. What do you think is going to happen? It could happen. Well, I just want to say that his tattoo parlor was half a tattoo parlor. And the other part of it was like a place where they sold fish. And I saw him go over to. Well, excuse me, young lady. Why would you be so stupid to be in a place where you see somebody handling fish?
And then walk over and pick up some sort of tattoo device and tattoo you. How stupid could you be? And I started saying to Rebecca, get out of my face. You're the stupidest person. She's just so cruel. No BS. No. Listen, I can't stand to have you in my courtroom because we have a law against stupid people. And you're the stupidest person I've ever seen. Can't even look at you. I can't look at such stupid filth. So apparently she's got some kind of a fainting thing that happens to her. I promise. Paramedic 45, what's that as emergency? Yeah, I need a paramedic here. What is the address of the emergency? 5800 West Sunset. 5800 West Sunset. And tell me exactly what happened. I'm answering the stage right now, but I need a paramedic. Sir, what is going on there? Sir, look, I just got a call. I was told by my boss to call paramedics. Time to come to stage five. I'm not sure what's going on. I'm sorry. You're on our way to what stage five? Is that what you said? Yes. I need here. Hang on a second. What are you talking about? Stage what? What are you? Some kind of star, superstar? What are you? Stage five. Why is that guy being such a dean? I know. He's really drilling the guy. Stage five for Judge Judy. Oh, Judge Judy, huh?
What are you, some kind of movie star? Oh, am I going to IMDB you? Stage five, just duty. Yes, so when you get here, when you guys get here, anything will come to stage five. What's going on there? I'm sorry I'm a human being, because you apparently... hate my guts. No. Why are you screaming at me? Yeah. Because he's talking all cryptically and he's trying to figure out how cryptically he doesn't know what's going on. He's giving every answer that he has. The 911 guy is trying to get every single thing to know like, okay, do I need to give him instructions to try to help the person? I told you. I don't, I don't know. I don't know. I just, my boss told me to call. I'm calling. Here's my phone number. Stage five. Yeah. Stage five. I already gave you the address. I gave you the address of my phone number. If you go to that address and there's going to be a big place called Stage 5, just go there. He did his job. Who put this guy in charge of being the one to make the 911 call? Who calls somebody and tells somebody else to call? Hey, you need to call 911. You're too busy to do it? There's something passed out on the stage. You guys read the scripts. That's ridiculous. I was on Judge Judy once. This is Michael Jackson. Hello, Michael. How come you hate me so much?
Yeah, you do. I can see it in your stupid face. You hate me. I don't. You hate my guts. Why do you hate me so much? Why? We just heard from you for like an hour. You hated me the first time I ever freaking talked today. Fair enough. It sounds like you have to sneeze, Michael. I do. Okay, fine. You don't have to sneeze. You don't have to sneeze. You don't have to sneeze. Just phone that in. I mean, if you're going to do it, do it. I took Charlton Heston to... Judge Judy Court went home because he released my grocery list to Wicked Leagues. Wicked Leagues? He did. Charlton Heston did. Yes, he did. He did. He did. What? So we have a guy that survived a crash into the Grand Canyon to play for you. Wow. And also, we got an email from this dude that I...
I'm very rarely left speechless. I don't even know what to tell the guy. We'll go over it. You decide. We'll talk about it. Coming up. Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Latillery with some shows for you to go check out. This Saturday night, you can see Mud Honey at the Cow's Bar. And next week, FM 94.9 presents... TV on the radio at 4th and B. The show is May 2nd and is still happening. Ghostland Observatory play 4th and B May 6th. System of the Downs at Cricket Wireless May 21st. And on June 1st, Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra hit SOMA. June 5th is the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion with Cold War Kids and Leaky Lee, Peter Bjorn and John, Band of Skulls, Everest, Crocodiles, Surfer Blood, The Soft Pack, Heavy Hawaii.
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Well, we've got a problem here on the 8. This is the 8 westbound right after Greenfield Drive. A two-car crash. It's in the number one lane. 15 southbound ramp to the 5. A two-car accident here. This one's over on the right shoulder. And in rainbow on the 15 southbound. Rainbow Valley Boulevard, an accident. And it looks like it hit a guardrail. It's over on that right shoulder guardrail. It's going the wrong way. This report, it's also brought to you by Account Temps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions through their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Call or visit them at accounttempts.com and equal opportunity employer. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like rain, I like sunshine. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Get Zienna. I was a really good student. And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. Operation Street Impact happens May 14th, Saturday at Qualcomm. You better be there. Hey, Michael, are you going to OSI? Yeah, I'm going to go. As soon as I can befriend Woods, I'll have him drive me there. But for some reason, he just hates my guts. Every time I come in, he looks at me like I'm a freaking... He doesn't. Yeah, he does. That's how he looks at everyone. He says to me like a candle. Like I'm a freaking candle sitting there. I look at him, he's just stone-faced. He just stares at me. I'm like, sorry, man. Next time I'll try to talk like oil. Don't worry.
It's freaking, it's just a letdown, man. Really? Want him to like me. Never been a big fan of yours. Really? Except when I had your red leather jacket when I was seven. Wait to hear this email we got for you. It is so weird. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, if you're around armadillos a lot, you may want to be careful because they have just discovered a link to leprosy through armadillos. Scientists compared DNA from 33 wild armadillos from several southern states and skin biopsies of 50 leprosy patients, and they found they were genetically similar. Yeah, apparently there's 150 leprosy cases that occur every year in this country. Wait, wait, wait. They get it from, like, touching the armadillo? Apparently. It's disgusting. So what happens if you eat an armadillo? They think, I mean, you have to be handling armadillos frequently or eating their meat to get the disease. That's the filthiest. That's the filthiest thing I've ever done. I've handled my fair share of armadillos. Oh, my gosh. Write that down. Yes, they're crazy.
Also, some more wonderful news. San Diego's air pollution. You think it's good or bad? Yeah, it looks great. Look at it. It's crystal clear. San Diego's air pollution is among the worst in the nation. No. Yes. Really? Yeah, they've done air quality studies and found that we are the eighth, no, the seventh. San Diego ranks seventh nationally among the metro areas in ozone pollution. It's not our fault. Yeah, they think that we get a lot of L.A. and Mexico's pollution. I like it. Yeah. The worst polluted is L.A., then Bakersfield, Fresno, Sacramento, San Diego, Houston. We're above New York. That is sad. Yeah, it's Mexico. That is sad. That's what I said. It isn't our fault. It's sad. They got no rules. Some good news, Petco Park has gotten an A for food service. Just let you guys know one good thing. Congratulations. It's one good thing going right at Petco Park. At Petco right now. It's pretty easy to serve 1,500 people every game, I guess. Let's see what's going on in sports. Well, the NFL is still back to work. After the judge, Susan Richard Nelson, remember she first eliminated the lockout. The NFL came back to her and said, well, you're going to have to grant us a stay.
While the appeal process runs, of course, you said, nope, no stay. So they're still back to work, which is probably detrimental because it's going to extend this whole frigging thing for another God knows how long. I say a couple of weeks is what they were saying, and then we'll see in a couple of weeks. Yeah. And one thing I do love when I listen to audio in the morning is I love to hear tense audio from athletes. I love it when it's tense. Now, this just happens to be a Boston Red Sox pitcher, but it is tense. His name is Josh Beckett. He lost last night. This is him after the game. When asked about something that was un-baseball related, cut two. Is this TMZ? I thought we were talking about a baseball game. You know, we want to know about bat flips and talking to umpires. Probably just stick to the game. I thought we did a good job battling back, you know. He came up one run short. What did they ask him? I guess somebody in the game had flipped their bat, and they wanted to know, and I guess a couple of the Red Sox were barking at the umpires, and they asked Josh about it, and what is this, TMZ? That's not TMZ-ish. I loved it. I loved it. I mean, I listened to this one, and I started laughing. It's just being frustrated after a close loss. What's he crying about, though? I know. That's not like... Yeah, it wasn't like, so tell me. It happened in the game, right? What kind of new cleats are those?
Well, did it happen in the game? Yeah, it happened in the game. I'd understand if they were like, so is it true that you're dating... Right. You know? Rebecca DeMornay. Rebecca DeMornay. And he could, you know... Or somebody else from the 80s. Are you... Is it true that you're dating... Tootie. Dana Plato. If she... Okay, well. Well, rest in peace. God rest her. You know, is it... Tootie. Tootie. You know, the girl... Kim Fields. Kim Fields. Who played Tootie. And then he could say, what is this, TMZ? I loved it. When he said it, what is this, TMZ? Is this TMZ? Yeah! He's upset. He is upset. He is a douche. What? Sienna, tell us about the guy that survived the crash in the Grand Canyon.
This is a 21-year-old man. We don't know his name. They haven't released it, but he was treated on Monday at Flagstaff Medical Center for non-life-threatening injuries. The guy flew off the south rim of the Grand Canyon. He drove his car off the cliff. The park rangers found his car about 200 feet below the rim, lodged against a tree. And this guy survived and climbed up. The rim. Usually I can fly. Yeah. That's happened to me. Strange occurrence. Hello, I'm the Grand Canyon. Hey, Jay. How you doing? What are you doing down there? Crashed. Took that car right over the rim, man. And you're fine? I'm fine. I have like buffalo bones. Most people don't have buffalo bones. They got people bones, but I got like buffalo bones. Are the kids okay? Oh, the kids are fine because they got buffalo bones too. It's in my genetics now. If Kim had married Michael, they'd have little tiny brittle bones. They wouldn't be fine. But luckily, Kim married a mastodon. If you know what I mean. How can you hear us so clearly when you're all the way down in the Grand Canyon? Great hearing, too. Great genetics, great eyesight, great hearing, great everything. How are you going to get out of there? Great everything. If you know what I mean. How are you going to get out, Jay? I'll probably jump. Really? 200 feet.
It's more than that. It's a little more like 20,000 feet. I'm at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. It's a mile down. I'll jump. You couldn't jump. You're a human. Fat human. Yeah, you're a fat human. But I am. I got buffalo bones. I'll jump right out of the Grand Canyon. That's the way I roll. Get it. Are there crickets down there in the Grand Canyon? Are there crickets? Nice. Did you say he climbed up the rim of the Grand Canyon? Yeah, over the rim. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What's my problem? What's your freaking problem? I don't know, man. It's dirty. It's down here being dirty. Just not spending money on anything down at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Oh, my gosh. I'll tell you what. I could be at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. I will still skateboard. So what?
I surf. I found a way to surf down here. That's right. It's just like skating in like a pool or something like that. Yeah. I've been using the Grand Canyon like one big giant tube at a skate park. Are you wearing your Heelys, Jay? Yep. I don't care. Are you eating edamame down there? I like to go down to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, surf down the Colorado River, eating edamame. Edamame, Jay. That's what I said, edamame. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Somebody hit me. That's what I said. That's what I've been doing all night long. My voice is tired. Hit me.
I have fallen to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. And I can't get it. True or false? True or false. I am going to make it out of the Grand Canyon. True. Hit me. Hit me. Oh, boy. I never want to say help again. I know. Hit me. It has to be hit. All right. I got to give you this email. This is so. Oh, by the way. Later, we're going to be playing Ever Just Say Stuff. It's a game that we play with L.O.B. because L.O.B. is very random. She can be, yes. And so instead of saying, like, Michael Stipe is the lead singer of R.E.M., she'll say, like, is it Michael Reagan? Isn't that the lead singer of R.E.M.? It's Michael Stone. I'm not random. I'm just confused. Confused.
She'll also say the name Ricardo Montalban. And she'll say, oh, he had died of AIDS. Yeah. She'll be like, didn't he die of AIDS? It's a true story. And he either isn't dead yet or he died of natural causes. Right. A heart attack. Heart attack. Oh, he was AIDS, though. Yeah, but she'll take a guess. She takes guesses. And we thought, this might be a fun game to play with. I don't take guesses. I say what I think. think i heard i don't just throw things at the dartboard it's not random i'd say that by definition you throw stuff at the dartboard you just say it i don't pull it out of nowhere i mix up where i pull things that's fair is this true or false no btmf no brain to mouth filter it goes from your brain to your mouth yes that's true no btmf that is true uh not to be confused with her bfmc which is her boyfriend at commerce correct So listen to this. This guy says, what's up, Mikey? Hoping to get your show's take on an issue I'm having with my wife. We've been together for three years, married for almost one year. Throughout our relationship, we've always talked about wanting kids and how both of us will be great parents. Well, last week, she sits me down and says she doesn't think she wants kids anymore. She said that sometimes things change and some people just aren't meant to be parents.
I was meant to be a parent. I don't know what to do. Mikey, with your ideas on marriage, what would you do? I love my wife, but she may have just presented me with a deal breaker. I want kids. M1 Baconator. This is what I would qualify as worse. And what I mean by that is, is that when you get married, you got to take a vow, a commitment for better. Or for worse. This is worse. This stinks. It's awful. It isn't fair. It's not cool. It stinks. But no, I don't believe it's a deal breaker. If by deal breaker you mean you get a divorce. You don't get a divorce over that. It stinks. And she's a hound. That stinks, man. You can't do that. But she did. It's one of those things, though, man, where it happens the opposite way, too, where somebody says that, yeah, they don't want kids. They don't want kids at all. And then they get married and the clock ticks and then they do want kids. The bottom line is you don't want to have kids with somebody that doesn't want them. Yeah, but he wants to have kids. I know he does. But I'll tell you who you don't want to have kids with. Well, I agree with that.
But I don't think he would have married her had she presented this before they were married. Maybe he wouldn't have. But the bottom line is... So he's stuck? Yeah. She's the one that lied. That's a deal breaker. It's a life sentence. I would fail. It's a life sentence. Out. Yeah. It's a life sentence. It is. That means he's not going to get to do something he wants to do. And you didn't commit the crime. Yeah. Well, think about it this way. What is the option? Let's say that he talks her into it. Okay. Then she's out like she doesn't really want to. Oh, my gosh. Because she's been talked. Nobody wants to do something they've been talked to. Right. You know, I mean, what are you going to do if you say, I don't want kids? You know, what if you say, I don't want kids marrying some girl and she goes, that's fine. I don't want kids either. And then you marry her and she goes, it's four years into the marriage. And she's like, look, I do. You know, I changed my mind. I really want kids. You're going to go. All right, well, guess what? That's not what I signed up for. A lot of people would. I know a lot of people would, and it's wrong. But I mean, in my opinion, in my opinion, I know a lot of people disagree with this, and that's fine. But if a woman says to a guy, I changed my mind, and I'd like to have kids now, and he goes, okay, well, I'll be consulting my attorney tomorrow. And I'm going to file for divorce papers. Same bit with this guy.
He's with this woman. She said she wanted kids before they got married. Now she decided she doesn't want kids. So he's going to call an attorney and he's going to file divorce papers. Well, he wants to have kids. What if that's his lifelong goal? That's a deal breaker for me. It's a deal breaker. It's a deal breaker before you make the commitment. But once you've made the commitment... But I also think that... At one point, she did want to have kids. Now she's saying she doesn't. I think the thought of wanting kids could be forced back into her brain. No offense to women, but they will change their mind from time to time. Especially once you see that baby. I can't see her being like, yeah, I don't want this. How about this? How about he marries her and when they're getting married, she wants to be an attorney. She's going to law school. They get married. And she didn't know this. Ever since he was a kid, his parents have pushed him to be with someone. In fact, every girl he's ever dated has been somebody that like had something going on, going to a great prep school, going to a good thing, blah, blah, blah. It's been his dream to marry a woman that's successful and who will become an attorney. She changes her mind. She goes, you know what? I don't want to be an attorney. In fact, I think I want to.
Stay home and start my own Avon business. Apples and oranges. Apples and oranges. Why? Having kids is like your legacy. It's just a lifelong dream. Children and a career you can't put next to each other on the scale. You know what I mean? How about this one? Give me another one. She don't want dogs. No, it's not the same. Dogs and children, they're still different. Woods, you said that they're the same. No, I didn't. I've never said that. I've never said they're the exact same. I treat mine like they're children, but that's not how everybody does. Some people have kids and don't appreciate them. You know what I mean? What if you want dogs? Some people have pets and don't appreciate them. What if you want dogs and you get married and then she decides she doesn't want dogs? No, I'm out. You're going to divorce me? Yeah. This is why... The divorce rate in this country is way over 50%. I agree, but children is something that you can't. Dude, you want to talk about resentment? Yeah. An awful marriage. On a personal level, everything I went through with my adoption that fell through, I've been, the inner turmoil that I have now is, do I even want kids anymore? That's been my struggle, just laying it out there. I have, when you guys knew me before,
It was never even an option. I always want a kid. Now I'm like, hmm. Well, you're still recovering. Hang on a second though. Wait a minute. So Jamie wants all the way in. It's hard. What if this experience really like spoiled everything for you and you don't change your mind and you don't want to have kids? Right. Should Jamie divorce you? I don't want her to, but Jamie really wants to be a mother. I don't want her to leave me. That's what she's wanted her whole life. If that's what she's wanted and I'm not the person to give it to her, I mean, I don't want her to go anywhere. It's hard. This is a real thing that's going on. Hey, listen, I understand. I don't want her to. In my opinion, I think that it would be wrong for her to divorce you if you changed your mind. Do you think she would resent me for the next 50 years? Yes. And do I think that you would resent her? If you had to? Yes. Yeah. I don't think so because once they get children, which they will, Woods is going to be an amazing dad. And he's saying that he may not want kids because he's been really hurt. That's not who he is. He wants to be a dad. I'm just having a hard time with it. Well, then you're flat out saying, I'll change my mind, but right now I don't. Probably.
Jamie knows that, though. She knows who she married. And she knows he wants kids as much as she does. Imagine if a woman took that tactic and said, I don't want to have kids. And a guy goes, oh, my gosh, perfect. You're perfect for me. Right. And he marries her. And she goes, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go off the pill. I'm going to get pregnant. And it's fine. And I'll tell you why it's fine. It's fine because once the baby gets here, he'll be all there. No, that's different. That's deceptive. Yeah, you need to get to know the person that you're going to marry. And you better know everything about them before you get into that. But people do change their minds. Following Sienna's logic, once the baby gets there, everybody changes their mind. No, everybody. I can't see. Woods would change his mind. Woods and Jamie would go through the discussion. She wouldn't just be like, I'm getting this whether you say it or not. I'm going through this process and like take it or leave it. I think there'd be a lot of discussion. And I think she knows him well enough. We all know that he, you know, right now he's hurt and he's grieving. And we know that he wants kids. Yes. In a relationship, man. I think that we go through a lot of stuff that sucks. Yeah. We go through a lot of stuff that sucks. And one thing that really sucks.
is if somebody were to change their mind about something as big and as important as kids. Yeah. But one thing that we don't do is we don't go down and file for a divorce. Well, not that day. What if, I mean, yeah. Not that day. How long do we wait? No, you try to work it out. You try to work through it. Well, in other words, you try to get them to change their mind. If they don't change their mind, you divorce them. And go to counseling and go through. But, I mean, honestly, if that's something that I wanted, I mean, it would be a life sentence of handcuffs. Yeah. Talk about resent. This would be like. You might as well be like, okay, well, then you just lived the rest of your life miserably. I mean, I think I would rather go through the taboo of divorcing somebody than agree to be miserable the rest of my life. Because you would hate that person. You would grow to hate that person. It would fall apart. I don't believe you would grow to hate that person. In fact, listen, lots of people saying now. I hate that person. I hate that person now. I hate them. Yeah. They say, I hate him now. Just wait. Well, because of your convictions, I mean, and I agree with you, man. It's too easy to just go, this isn't perfect. It's not what I want. I'm out. You know? Man, that is a very, very, very tough case in his case. Very tough. What do you think, M1s? 570-1949. I want to know what M1s think. For sure. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's plastic. Excellent job. Huh? Mikey. 570-1949. Or text.
At 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. The wait is over. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Now hang me up to try. Hit some. Performing on the Casbah. Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at independencejam.com or at fm949sd.com. Dependence Jam Coastal Invasion, presented by Miller Lite.
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Throughout our relationship, we've always talked about wanting kids and how both of us will be great parents. Last week, she sits me down and says she doesn't think she wants kids anymore. She said that sometimes things change and some people just aren't meant to be parents. While I was meant to be a parent, I don't know what to do. Mikey, with your ideals on marriage, what would you do? I love my wife, but she may have just presented me with a deal breaker. I want kids. Well, in my world, the only deal breaker is cheating. Cheating is a deal breaker. Aside from that, if my wife gets into a car accident and she's paralyzed and she's in a wheelchair, I didn't plan on taking care of a quadriplegic before I got married. It wasn't in my plans. It had nothing to do with my plans. In fact, my plans were the exact opposite of that. My plans were to be with a woman who would walk.
And not have any issues that I would have to take care of. Because the truth is, I'm just not the type of guy that's cut out for taking care of a woman that's in a wheelchair. You're comparing the two? Yes. That's outside of her control. This is her being selfish and something that you both agreed on. Yeah, her not being who she said she was before they got married. This is willfully denying somebody of something that you knew they wanted. That was important to them. That was really important to them. That was the reason you got married. It isn't the reason. One of the reasons. One of the main reasons. It's a big reason. It's one of the big reasons. You talk about kids before you get married and make sure they're on the same page. Sure you do. Yes, you do. But come on, you guys. It's not the reason. It's one of the big reasons. Otherwise, why wouldn't I be out there just slaying like a mad dog? I was. I'm saying, why aren't I still? You found the person you wanted to make children with. I found the person that I wanted to build a family with. Oh, yes. Yes, I found the person. Be the mother of your children. Yes. But, Jay, you also told us that you fell in love at first sight. I did. Okay, so you were in love with her. Right. All right. So, yes, kids played a part of it. But if I asked you, if I said, you know, listen. There's only one reason you get to give me, Jay. You only get to give me one reason you married Kim. To have kids.
We were already living together. To start a family. You know what? My mom was like, if you're going to have kids, you're going to get married. Felt good. I was like, all right. She's hot. Y'all ain't seen her? You've seen her. You know damn well why I married her. I'm not in hell all the time. M1 Sonny from San Diego. Hi, Mikey. How you doing? I'm doing all right, sir. What's going on? Well, I wanted to respond to some of the conversation going on back and forth this morning. I think one of the things that... We lack it in our discussion about marriage is that love basically eliminates the me. If you really love someone, you should be looking out for what's best for them and return the same. The minute that we start considering what's best for us is the minute we start pulling apart. That goes both ways. So who's got it? True. So who bends? Yeah, who bends? Well, granted, and in this situation, it's not necessarily black and white, but I agree with you. It's not a deal breaker. Uh, even though I believe she's being selfish, you know, we talk about change her mind doesn't mean that she can't change her mind back. If there really is love there, she will care that it matters to him. Couldn't she say that he's being selfish as well because he's being obstinate saying, well, but we talked about it. You know, I want kids. When you say I want.
That's selfish. But why should he have to give up something that he's presented as true all along? I know. That's the hard part, man. That's the hard part. I'll tell you. Can I throw in a comment on that one? Yeah, the reason is because you're stuck. That's why you're stuck. That's a horrible way to put it. Sorry. Listen, I say to my wife all the time and we'll say to each other like kind of, you know, joking around, but we mean it. Yeah, you and Huey Lewis. What are you going to do? You're happy to be stuck with her, though. Yeah. What are you going to do? I mean, I'll get so irritated. She'll get so irritated. And I'll go, sorry. Dude, I've said it in a fight. I've said it in a fight before. I've been like, who do you do? You can't leave me. You're not leaving me. Can't leave. We're married. But saying stuck, that's like... You don't want to be stuck for 50 years. That's a quicksand to me. You're not... I don't mean it like... I know, but it has a terrible connotation. It's very, like, suffocating. Like, it makes me really claustrophobic. I want to be stuck with you until you're unreasonable. If you're unreasonable and you're crazy, and that's crazy to me. You should have wrote that into your nuptials. I didn't have to. Because you know why? Because I know the woman that I married. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so did this guy. Apparently not. But he did. Right. She was dishonest. I mean, hello. If she's dishonest, then it's not somebody I would stay with. And I'm all about staying married.
No matter what. No, you're not. You just said as long as she changes her mind, it's okay to get out. If she acts like a crazy person, then you have freedom to pull the rip cord. Acting like a crazy person is trying to cut off your guy's thing and running down the street. That's a crazy person. Would you give a pass on that? No. Michael Esparza. It's not cheating. I'll tell you what I would do. I'll tell you what I would do. It's my wiener. I would get, if my wife tried to do that. Did it. Oh yeah, she did it. She did it. Right. If my wife did that, first of all, I probably wouldn't have to try to divorce her because she's going to prison. Right. She's going to jail. Unless you decide not to press charges. But anytime that there's like physical abuse. Oh yeah. You get out of there. You get out of there and you.
try to get that person some help. What if this guy considers this physical abuse because it's stifling his seed as well as it's like a cancer inside of him eating at him every day. All he wants is just to spread his seed and this woman, this selfish woman is not letting him. That's kind of physical abuse. In a sense. In a sense it's physical abuse. In a sense it's cheating. She's cheating him out of the gift of life. She's cheating him out of a child. So that's cheating. He would have been a great attorney. And what if he doesn't believe in, you know, oral contraceptive or some sort of birth control method? Yeah. She's going to have to use that to guarantee that, you know. Let's Google divorce attorney right now. M1 Shelley from Rancho San Diego. Hey, Mikey. Hi. You know what? I went through that. My husband had children when we got married, and I wanted a baby bad, and he didn't want anymore. You know? And, like, I had to decide what I was going to do. And you were right. You're stuck with each other. I was stuck. Did you know that before? Yeah. Didn't you know that before? I thought you said he told you before you got married. I thought you said. No, no, no, no. It was after we got married.
He had a baby when I met him. The baby was six months old. And he knew that you wanted kids. Right. And then you got married to him and then he changed his mind. Yeah. And I've been resentful. I mean, up until the day I had a hysterectomy at 50, I was like, dude, I want a baby. And that day I cried because it was like, this is final. I'll never have a baby now. You know? I raised his daughter from six months to 23 years, but I still never had my baby. Yeah, and listen, I think it's terrible. I think it's awfully selfish. I think it's just awful. But you know what else I think? I think you did the right thing, Shelly. You do? Yeah, I think you did the right thing by staying with him. You still married to him? Oh, yeah. We're still married. Do you love him? Do you love him? Do I love him? Um, yeah. Oh, wow. Ringing in Doreen. But, you know what? I don't like him a whole lot. Because of that? Not just that, but for a big part of it, yeah. Sounds like there's a few reasons you don't like him. But you know what? You're a mom still, even though you didn't have a child. You are a mom to that girl. You know, I'm a nanny, and so I'm a mom to a whole bunch of people. That's cool. Well, that's good.
Shelly, you sound a good woman. You are a good woman. I'm sorry you didn't get to have that baby. Thank you. You are a mom, so don't think you aren't. Okay. Thanks a lot, Shelly. M1 Randy is on the line from San Diego. Hey, what's up, buddy? Hi. Hey, man, I just wanted to call in and give you a little comment on what you're talking about this morning. First of all, I'm with you, man. I would never divorce my wife for anything. We've been married since 2007, and, man, we've had our hard spots. Definitely. But, you know, there's nothing in the world that made me divorce my wife or make her divorce me. But, yeah, when we got married, dude, we wanted kids bad. Like, my younger sister in Houston already has two kids, and she's great with them. And, you know, we're great every time we go with them and everything. And, like, a year ago, I found out because I'm diabetic, I can't have kids. Like, it's just physically impossible. Like, it's just not going to happen. There's nothing going on down there. They can't artificially inseminate. You know, they can't do anything. So, like, I personally never have kids. Everybody's telling us to, like, you know, adopt. You know, there's kids out there that need help. Yeah, but Jay would say that was out of your control. It wasn't a mind change. It was out of your control. Yeah, but what I'm getting at is, like, my wife is of the same thing. You know, she wanted kids. She wanted them really bad, too. She'd be a great mother, and she's great with, like, every kid we know. But, you know, she can't have kids with me.
But that's okay. But you could still have kids. If it was up to you, you would be having children. You probably would already have them, but you can't control your health. And what about adoption? Well, we've kind of talked about that, too. It's kind of along the same lines. It wouldn't be mine. Yeah, it is. It's the same situation I'm going through. Listen, we've talked ad nauseum about... what a dad is. A dad is not just a sperm donor, man. A dad and a father is somebody that raises a kid. You have to look past that inner man-ness that's like, it's got to be my seed and my DNA. As woods, I don't want any more little woodsies running around. So it always worked out well for me. When Jamie said she couldn't have kids, I was like, fine. We can still adopt. It's almost... I'm not going to say better, but you're helping somebody in the process of being a father. Adoption's awesome. It's incredible. And that child. That child. You're saving a child's life. It's amazing. You've got to look past that pride of being a man and saying, it's got to be my seed. And everyone deserves to be a parent. You absolutely sound like you're going to be a great dad. Not everyone. Well, everyone wants to be. Exactly. And one sketch from Oceanside.
Hey, good morning, Mike. Hi. Hey, so I just wanted to add on. I mean, I'm a 21-year-old guy. I don't have kids. I'm not married, but I totally agree with you, Mikey. It's not a deal-breaker. I mean, it's something that, I mean, people change, and over time, if you love that person, you're going to get through it. Yeah, you may have some resentful thoughts going throughout your life, but, I mean, plow through it. If you really love that person, you're going to get through it, no doubt. I don't think marriage is something that... Somebody should take lightly where, okay, there's a bump in the road. It's a big bump. And that you can just stop and get a divorce like that. That's really critical. And that's my take on it. And I believe there's a pecking order too, man. And I've said this before. You know, my kids don't come first before anything. Rebecca comes first. And then after, Rebecca's my kids. I'm not that way. My kids are numero uno. I don't mean that. I hope the inference there is not, well, don't you love your kids? Of course you do. Your reason to stay together is a religion thing? My reason to stay together is because I believe that when you get married, it ties you together forever. You don't get a divorce. Why is that?
Is it God wants you to stay together no matter what? Yes. Walk me through that one. I was just trying to figure it out. As opposed to what, culture? Yeah, culture or the government. How about you? You believe, though, that if you don't like a marriage, you can get a divorce. Not necessarily. What I believe is you stay together and you fight it out. But if that other person is so unreasonable and that she changes the rules of the game, I think you go into it with the rules laid out. These are the things we can do. These are the things we don't do. When any of those rules are changed, I think the game is over. The game has ended. Has Kim never changed rules on you? Have you never changed rules on Kim? Not the big rules that count. We've never changed the rules. That's the deal? I mean, the rules count. I mean, all the rules count. The only one that matters, the only one through my religion that counts as divorce, like infidelity.
Infidelity, there's no getting around it. One of us is unfaithful. My God says it's okay to get a divorce. You've broken the bond between two people. You broke the bond. Is that a guarantee for you? No. You don't have to. It's not like, oh, they cheated. You have to get a divorce. I'm telling you that if Rebecca cheated, I'm getting a divorce. If I cheat on her, she's getting a divorce. What if she decides to start, like, stripping or something? I'm just throwing something crazy out there. I mean, listen. What if Rebecca became an alcoholic? If she became an alcoholic, who knows? What if she did do that? I mean, she could. That's a sickness. You know, alcoholism is a sickness, you know? Yeah. So if she just decides willfully, like, I'm going to be a stripper because I like the way that I look and it's pretty good money. Yeah. Like, what would you do then? I wouldn't divorce her. What would you do? I'd pray for her. Yeah. I would remind her every day. I mean, but as we're saying this, like you realize that that's nuts. It's very far outside of the realm. But if you say people change and you have to work through it, it's like that's a big change. As nuts as my answer is, like when you go, well, what if Rebecca started prostituting? Well, that's cheating. Okay. Well, what if Rebecca changed religions? Yeah, I'd stay with her. I'd stay with her.
She's worshiping the devil, though. If she's worshiping, like, you know, doesn't believe in God. So that is the craziest. She denounces God. That's the craziest example that you can give. And I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy. Like, she becomes a Satan worshiper. Okay, I'll give you a crazy answer back. I'm staying with her. So I can't, if you're going to say, well, Mike, that's crazy. then I have to start it out by saying what you just suggested is crazy. I'm just trying to think of like everyone and everyone has things that they're more passionate about and that they need in their life. And without that, they're unhappy. And I just feel like God, if Todd told me we couldn't have kids, that's like saying he cheated on me in my mind. And I can't imagine God would want me to stay with somebody that would make me miserable for the rest of my life. God put me on this plan to be a mother and that's what I'm going to do. By the way, Jay. What you said right now is true. And so let me tell you this. If she wants to leave you. OK, let's say that Kim. OK, you're my beliefs or I'll paint it out in my beliefs way. Say Rebecca wants to leave me. And I say, babe, what are you talking about? You can't leave. You know, we're married. You know that we can't get a divorce. She's adamant. She's like, no, I want to leave. I don't want in this marriage. I want to leave. She can go and we can get a divorce.
If she's adamant that she's not going to say, and the reason that God gives for that specific situation is that he does not want you in that situation where one of you wants to go and just wants to go and wants to go. Don't keep them. Don't make them stop from going. That is. I don't know if I've ever said that because we don't get too deep into it. But yeah, if they say they want out and they're adamant and they're adamant and they're adamant and they're saying they want out, they want out, they want out. He says he doesn't want you unhappy for that reason, that specific reason. That's the deal. But Jay's saying stay with someone that's going to make you unhappy for the rest. It's going to make that guy so unhappy to know that all he wants is to coach his little kid in Little League and have his little... Yeah. And listen, I mean, when we're talking about it like this, we can sort of romanticize it. And what I mean by romanticize it is we can say, I mean, it's just the most important thing in the world to him. That's SG&T. That sounds really good, but it isn't true. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. It sounds really good, but it isn't true. And the reason that I can say that is because it is one of the reasons that you get married.
It's one of the, and that in and of itself, just the fact that it's one of the reasons and not the reason. It could be the, I mean, the Bible says, right, that you cannot have kids until you're married. Yes. So it's a necessary step. For me, it was the reason. To get to having kids. Yeah, it was the reason we got married because we were already living together. I was getting the milk for free. I was getting the milk for free. Real good. The milk was tasty, fresh, delicious. Oh, that was just... It was fresh. Mike, it was fresh. It was cool. Mike, it was pasteurized. Pasteurized? Pasteurized is organic. I can drink as much as I wanted. It was organic? It was organic. If I wanted something, I'd go to the backyard and say, Yoo-hoo! Daddy's thirsty! Hey, listen. Call me daddy. My daddy, he sent me down. He said, look, you ain't gonna keep milking that cow. All right? If you do, I'm going to take shotgun to you. I ain't kidding. If Rebecca did become a stripper, do you think that Jay would frequent that strip club? I've got a 20. Stop it. FYI. Don't put that in his head. Mike is just staring at us. Can anybody break a 20? I need a bunch of ones. What's happened to you, you weird creep? Who, me? Yes. You've become so strange with your... Me? Hey, Mike. What would you do?
I didn't present the stripper scenario. If Becky became a stripper, how much do you think Jay would pay to go see Rebecca naked, Mike? Where would she work? Excuse me, Mikey. If she were, what would she wear? Yeah, Mikey. Nothing. Your wife. I did not present the stripper scenario, you clown. Do you think Jay would go, Mike? You think Jay and I would go for lunch? Every day. I think we should go anyway. Stop it. We should. We should just go anyway. You're great. We should. Look at that stare down. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes are huge on Saturday, May 14th. The Mikey Show and M1s take over Qualcomm Stadium from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Operation Street Impact. A brand new Mikey Show sticker is in and ready for your ride. Every surprise, we've got a his and her mountain bike from Haro. A brand new Ibanez guitar. A 42-inch LG plasma with 5.1 surround sound and Blu-ray player. Plus, we're adding new prizes daily.
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for very little change. In Escondido, the 15 northbound Valley Parkway, two-car accident there. Also a problem here in El Cajon on the 8 eastbound ramp to Johnson Avenue. We've got an SUV that's stuck in the right lane. An accident on the 15 southbound ramp to the 5 two cars. They're both over on that right shoulder. If you're driving, texting, checking your Facebook, or returning emails and they catch you, you're going to get a ticket. If you don't kill yourself first, it's not worth it. A message from the California Highway Patrol. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The reason I've never been comfortable around kids, I'm always petrified they're going to go, you're short and fat. Lauren. I'll tell you that wow and outlasted for about 36 hours. I'm tired. Woods. Don't lie to me, did you lie to girls? Okay. Don't lie to me. Zienna. You know how I like some farting humor. And Jay. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On FM 94.9. It is so good. I just said to everybody, and here I go. I think the audience would ever be mad if I came in here one day and announced that I was divorcing Rebecca. I come in here and I'm like, listen, got something to announce. Found somebody else, you know. She's 21. Her name's Stacy. Like, I'm obsessed. Stacy. All of San Diego would hate you. Oh, yeah. You know.
Everybody knows my opinion about divorce. I mean, I'm pretty hardcore about it. Minus the pretty. Really? You're hardcore about it. I'm hardcore about it, man. And you know why? Because I see a lot of kids that are affected by it. I see a lot of kids affected by it. It breaks my heart. I have a stat right here. What is it? More than 25% of U.S. kids are now raised by single parents in the United States. I'm surprised it's not higher, to be honest with you. 25 percent. One in four children are being raised by a single parent. And it's because of the acceptance for single parents to raise kids on their own and higher teen birth rates. The best thing you can do for your kids, stay with their mom. Be a freaking man. Be a dad. What if you're not married to her? What do you mean? When she gets pregnant. Still. Stay with them. Stay with them. Absolutely. Unless. Marry them. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Marry him and stay together. Unless you don't even know it happened. Yeah. You know? I don't even know. Unless you're in Daytona at spring break. Yeah. It's Daytona. Yeah, it was 87. Oh, yeah. You know, I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't know you were such a... I didn't know you were so sensitive. Chase Newdrop. Yeah, sheen about it. Oh, yeah. Sheen. Time to sheen about it. Good, I'm going to have some rice. Mikey's turn. Bring it. Love you violently. Really, dude?
Really? It's on. Shut up. Stop. Move forward. I'm dealing with fools winning. I'm free. The next one goes in your mouth. Come on, Mike. That's like an atomic bomb. Yeah, it is. I'm sorry if I offended you. I didn't know you were such a... I didn't know you were so sensitive. That's already been played. You won again, but jealous. He threw that in there for good measure. Jealous. Jealous. Jealous. Jealous. Jealous. Jealous. All right. Blue eyes. You want blue eyes? No. Yes, you know that. I'm blue eye. Now we bring everything back down to neutral. You can't get mad at, Jamie and I have discovered, you can't get mad at each other if you're arguing. All one person to do is go, really? Blue eyes. And they can't stay mad.
So we should incorporate that in our group here. If we get mad at each other, just play some blue eyes. You can't be mad. I like to lead in with a blue. I don't know why. Blue eyes. I do that. Blue. Which told her that the other day. She's like, my favorite thing is when you lead in. Yeah, the lead in. Blue eyes. Blue eyes. You guys with your blue eyes. All right. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is built to smell. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. Garrett. There's something in your throat. Let's see. Listen to this. This may surprise you. Justin Timberlake does not think that friends with benefits is a good idea. What? Take a listen. Anytime now.
No, go ahead. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? I mean, do you really think that can work? It's a really good idea until it becomes a bad idea, and it probably becomes a bad idea really fast. Yes, I would think that it would be really hard to do that in reality. I think that everybody could probably agree with us when we say that at some point, if you're going to be intimate with someone, at some point somebody's going to feel something. Unless it's not good stuff. Unless you have sex and it doesn't feel good. I guess today is just my day in the pissed off chair. Why are you so angry? I'm pissed. Why are you screaming? It's just Ellen. You can't take Ellen so seriously. I'll tell you why. Because Ellen is... She still has an effect. She's cultural. She's a comedian before anything else. Well, she's a woman before, you know, she's a comedian. Yeah, she's a comedian, but when she says stuff, do you think that people go, oh, well, she's not serious. I think they go, ha, ha, ha, ha, because it was funny. So when she was, like, talking about...
Proposition 8. That was serious. Oh, oh, oh. But she's a comedian. We're not supposed to take her seriously. We know. People know when we're being serious and when we're making jokes. Sometimes. Sometimes they don't. She's making a joke. Don't be upset. You're being really upset. Miguel. Who cares? Just because now you don't believe in friends with benefits. Right. One time in your life you did. And you know what? Justin Timberlake was right. He was right. Oh, yeah. Dude, it doesn't work. Friends with benefits don't work. He's not saying he doesn't do it. Yeah. He's just saying that it. It blows up your face. He doesn't recommend it. Right now, I got me like 14 girls. Yeah, he does. Yeah, trust me. I bet you he doesn't do Friends with Benefits anymore. Mikey Esparza. Anymore? He just didn't do it any less. Of your mind. He does. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do I think that he gets plenty? Yes. Do you think he makes all of them his girlfriend? No. No. Right. No, no, no. But Friends with Benefits implies that we're buddies. We hang out.
but we're not like a couple. And I think he hooks up. Yeah, I think he hooks up. I bet you there's a stable of brats he can call on any given night and be like, yo, girl, what's up? I'm fitting to swing by the crib. That's what we called it. Get the dough open. That's what we call friends with benefits was just somebody you booty call at 2 a.m. I'm not going to hang out with you the next day. Yeah, you're not going to the street fair with her. No. You might, but more than likely you're not. You might. Yeah, friends with benefits. I'm just going for the milk. Just a hookup. Yeah, you're going for a glass of milk. Just for a glass of milk. You're going over to Watch Notting Hill and then get the hell out. Yeah. Friends of Benefits also means, that is one definition of Friends of Benefits. There's also the Friends of Benefits where you actually are friends. Sure. And occasionally... Because I'm an adult, you're an adult. Right. Why not? It feels good. You're attractive, I'm attractive. You have that, I have this. Yes. But that never goes good. No. 99.99% of the time, that does not go well. It does not go well. And there's always someone that's like, trust me, I'm not going to get involved, but I feel like you like me more than you. No, I totally want no strings attached. It's just physical. It's just physical. There's always one person on the end. By person, do you mean female? No. Everyone just did a girl voice. Really? Wait, wait, wait. You're saying? I did one situation. I can reverse it.
I'm not going to get involved. I mean, I'm not going to get, like, my feelings hurt. Dude, don't worry about it. Ella B. What? You were in a friends with benefits situation where the guy was like, where you would say to the guy, hey, I think you're getting a little, really? Yeah. Come on. For real? You're a sweet kid. I guess. You're a sweet kid. I guess. Hey, man. He wanted me. There are exceptions to every rule. I'll say it. If I'm naive, I'm naive. But honestly, I thought that that was the dude. Always saying that to the girl. I think generally it is. Generally, yeah. But it happens. It's happened once. Unless I'm the only girl that's ever done that. You're it. You're Christopher Columbus of this. No, no. I think for sure. There's always guys out there that are just like... Pining for somebody. And then the girl's just kind of like, well, I mean, it's there if I want it. And you would say... And he wanted a relationship with you. Yes. And you would be like, hey. By he, you mean they. There was more than one? At the same time? I don't believe it. I don't believe it. Easy, McGirt. Wow. Sweet kid. You're a sweet kid, Mike. You're a sweet kid. Really? And these guys were like, come on, I'm in love with you. And you were like Dylan from 90210. And you were like, Vic, I told you. It ain't like that. I'm about to travel. I'm about to travel. Hey, Dylan, I got to be able to hit the road at any time. Dylan.
Where are you going to be later? My Porsche. I'll be at the beach. You want to meet me at the Peach Pit? Peach Pit after dark? No, Peach Pit for lunch, and then later we'll go back to our bungalow. Who's talking to Dylan right now? Dylan. Dylan. We're going to get Dylan. It's me, Dylan. It's Dylan. You're Dylan. Meet me, Dylan. Double D. This is Bob Dylan. Hey, Dylan. Hey. Hey. How many rows? Hey, is Michael Jackson around? I would be, but you hate my freaking guts. Hey, Michael. What? What you meet us at the Peach Pit for dinner? Why don't you feast? You don't even like me. You're right about that. This is Liza finale. I'll meet you at the Peach Pit. Wow. Darling. Is that Liza? Yeah, we'll have some martinis. I love you, Michael. I'll hang out with you. Nobody else likes me. I like you, Michael. Gosh darn, I mean, the old people betrayed me, but at least they liked me. Did they? Oh my gosh. Could have been part of the reason. Yep.
It was Michael the whole time? The whole time. The whole time. That's what you don't understand. You're not a monster. They don't like Michael Jackson. Yeah. They were tired of it. They just didn't have the heart to say. They just didn't have the heart to tell you. Yeah, dude, if I was being honest, I didn't like the Michael Jackson, man. Never liked it. I didn't like it either. I would have said it right from the very beginning. I didn't like it. I thought he was so stupid, but I couldn't say it. I didn't have the heart. Yes. Every day we had to hear that stupid Michael Jackson. I feel you, kid. What about the manservant? Did he like Michael? That's right. I didn't do the manservant voice. Oh, I thought you did. No. Ramsey? Yeah. No, Eddie was Ramsey. I'm confused. Awkward, Jay. Yeah, you know. It was kind of weird, didn't it? The whole thing was weird. The whole thing was weird. Anyway. You've got to be able to laugh at yourself. Hey, Mike. You've got to be able to laugh at your pain, man. You have to. Otherwise, you just get all sad and everything. Michael, what's the best medicine? Both Michaels. What's the best medicine? Well, I can say the best medicine is just going on. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oh, boy. Besides that, what's the best medicine? Dilaudid. Dilaudids are also very good. Laughter. People would say laughter is the best medicine. But I get uncomfortable when Woods makes those jokes where he says, my fake kid. Yeah, yeah, my fake kid. It creeps me out, man. You have to be able to laugh. Where does this come from? It's so weird. I'm not following anything that's happening right now. I'm spinning. Okay, let me explain. I'm looking at the schedule and I'm like, Mike. Wait, hang on, Sam. We're riffing. Hang on. Are we? Hang on. Okay. We are. You don't think it's funny when we talk about fake kids in the old show? Makes me uncomfortable. Why? Because I'm uncomfortable. Girl, how drunk is you? I like it. It's loose and fun. Bubbles? Bubbles. Would you like it better if the voice was higher? No. Okay, I'll bring it down. I had to reach into our garbage disposal. And I touched a piece of honeydew.
Oh, my gosh. I touched a piece of honeydew. Delicious. And I wanted to saw off my fingers. Should have just pushed on on the garbage. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no. With your hands. What's wrong with that? There's nothing. There's much worse. That feels filthier. Here's the grossest feeling things. Coffee grinds. Oh, yeah. Honeydew or. Coffee grinds? In a filter. Yes. Yeah, in a used wet filter. A wet, cold wet. Cold wet. It doesn't bother me. If it gets on the counter and then you've got to like sweep it up into the trash. Mine is cotton of any sort. Like the cotton you pull out of a medicine container or something. Yes. It's gross. I love it. I put it in my mouth. Ew, wet cotton balls are the grossest. You put a dry cotton in your mouth? Oh, yeah. I want to see it. That's so wild. Bring me a bag. I'll eat a bag of cotton. I've swallowed one before. Bring me. It's not good for you. It's going to clog your colon. It's bad for you. I love it. It's good. First of all, when you open up a brand new thing of Tylenol and you have to pop that tin seal where you can't pop it. How do you do it? I do it with a knife. I do it with my knuckle. Every single time I go. I put my pocket knife in there and I cut it. Really?
cut it round. Why so precise? Because I don't like doing it. Well, how else do you do it? I pop it with my thumb and then just peel it off. I do the knuckle. Too much work. And then the cotton, there's always a little bit left over and the cotton scrapes up against the foil and I'm like, it's stuck in it. I want to create a cotton removal. Tweezers. Probably won't be a big seller. No. It'll be huge. I'll sell it for like $400 and be a stick. I think it's called the cotton gin, and I think Eli Whitney sometime in 1850. And MJ Isbell. That's what made the cotton. But what are things that you touch that they just sick you out? How about this? Fat from chicken. It's freaking gross. Oh, my God, dude. Chris just shook his head. No, no. When you've got to cut it, I do a lot of the preparations for the dinners in my home, so I will cut the chicken. Yeah. And then you have to take that excess. and scrape it off the cutting board. And sometimes I do it with a knife, but sometimes a piece will fall on the ground and I have to pick it up and it's slimy. Ever get you when the other side of your knuckles happen to get all in that pink juice on the bottom of the styrofoam that the chicken comes in? Your knuckles, the other side of your knuckles is sort of... You get used to it. They just sort of slide. Juice, and then it dries and gets sticky. Lick it clean. Don't lick my chicken.
Lift it up and drink it. I'll kill you. I'll kill you. Well, what I do is I pour it all into a wash rag and then I take the wash rag over my mouth and I squeeze. There's actually that little sponge underneath the chicken and you just wring it out of your mouth. Yeah, yeah, that sponge. The sponge, you pick that up and go. Mm-hmm. Disgusting. Why are you trying to make people throw up? I'm bad girls. If I was dying, I wouldn't eat that. Have you ever picked up something off of, like, the sidewalk or something and your knuckles scrape against the concrete? Yep. It just makes this, like, faint little, ah, it's even on my hand right now. See that? How about when you sit down at a table and you go to kind of pull yourself in and you put your finger right in somebody's gums? It's like, you know that's been in somebody's mouth recently. I've done that a lot. Ew! How about when you reach down to pull yourself in and you feel something scurry away? What does that happen? What a bug. You're outside. Sitting at the patio. Oh, yeah. Pulling yourself in. It's... I don't like it when a spoon or a fork touches with one of my back teeth. Like you're biting. There's like... Oh, you put a shoe on. There's a cricket in there. You sat with my roller skates all the time in the garage. Oh. Isn't that an awful feeling? Yeah. When I was a kid. Okay. I thought this was... I don't like to break styrofoam.
I don't like that. Oh, you mean to make it smaller for the garbage can? Just like, yeah, when you have to break down that. You have to break the thing? Even a little like, they call it like peanut or what is that stuff? Peanut, yeah. Yeah, when you have to like, they squeak against each other and you have to pick him up. I don't like that. It makes such a gross noise. Or when you buy something and you're taking it out of the box and the box is styrofoam and whatever it is. is wedged in there, and you have to pull it out, and you pull it out, and it goes... Yeah. I kind of enjoy that. You do? Yeah. Serial killer. It's kind of fun to pull out. It's all tiny. I hate it, and then it'll break off. It doesn't bother me. It comes out of there. It's awful. 5701949. How about this one? M1 Jesse. From Encinitas. Yes, sir. What the hell was that? I read the call screen. Gross me out. Jesse. It's a male, Jesse. Jesse. I wish I was Jesse's girl. Jesse. Go ahead.
Go ahead, Jesse. Stop. Both of you better stop. You're dead. Go ahead, Jesse. Jesse! You know, when, like, you know, you got your hand on the toilet paper and you're in mid... Okay. I think I knew where you were going. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I can't say that. I think I knew anything. I think I know what he... I think I know what he... You did. Goes through the toilet paper. You're like, oh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I'm staring at your hands. Don't smell your hands. Wiping your mouth with that dirty finger. FM 94.9. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Nation. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. 10th. Great.
Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Forming on the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. Tickets are only $35 with no additional fees. As always, $1 of every ticket sold will go to the About the Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at independencejam.com. Or at FM949SD.com. Dependence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th. At CarMax, we understand that honesty is the cornerstone of providing great customer service. However, we also understand that there are times when you're better off not being honest. For instance, when filling out the What I Look For In A Person section of your online dating profile, you may not want to write my mother.
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That guy knows how to roll his own syrup. Think he's ever gone square dancing? Think he's ever woken up in the morning and had yellow fingertips from all the cigarettes he smoked the night before? Think he ever kissed his cousin? Once the fun's over, huh? Hey, Mike. I have an idea. Since we're here in the meeting. It's our Wednesday show meeting. Let's hear it, Jay. Here's my idea. How about we talk about all the... The old country singers that we love and the days they died. Jay, that's really morbid, man. Okay, fine. We don't have to do it. You got any more? Yeah, I got ten ideas today. Nice. Came prepared. Mike's got five. I have ten. Let's hear them, buddy. My next one is Girls That Get AIDS. Oh, my God, Jay. What? That's so heavy.
Would we like open the phones? Yeah, just open the phones and we're like, hey, anybody have stories, you know? You want to just like list it off or? Fine. You know, I didn't, it was just, I'm throwing ideas. That's all. I ain't, it ain't a done completed idea. I say no. I vote no. I say no on that one. Next idea. All right, here's one. What about, now, hang on, Mike. You're the whole idea before you freak out. What if we did? Have you ever been turned on by your neighbor's wife? Isn't that going to get you in trouble with your wife, Jay? I don't know. I'm just trying to give ideas. I got 10. If this one doesn't work, just say it. Everyone on the show, all the guys are married, so I don't think they're going to want it. Just say something like that. It ain't me. I'm not saying me turned on. I'm saying men. I'm saying that. Joe from Escondido. Okay, but if Joe from Escondido calls, are you going to be really interested? I have another one. I would be. All right. All right. Now, Mike's probably going to nix this. That's all right. This is a live reenactment of our meeting yesterday. This is exactly what happens. Okay. What if we were to try to set up
A couple lesbians on the air. Jay, you know Mike's not a solid idea, Jay. I like that. Mike don't like it? Well, I mean, what do you want to do? Just like open up the phone? Well, it doesn't have to be all sexual. Then what would they do? Well, we just set them up. Okay. They just kids. I think a lot of people would actually be in on that, but I don't think Mike's going to be in on that. It's not really the format of the show. Mike, I got one. What? Puppies with cancer. How about that? You got a puppy. He's got cancer. Call in. Jay, that's going to be so depressing. It's so sad, dude. It's so sad. Yeah, when you think puppies, you want to think happy, not sad. I got another one. What? A little boy's dog gets hit by a car. What do you do? That's the idea? That's it. Still on the theme of sad puppies. Damn it. Call that barbecue. All right, I got one. Saddest dolphin you've ever seen choke on kilp. Saddest one. Out of all the dolphins you've ever seen. Because it's San Diego. I got one. I got one. Y'all, I got one. What? Worst STDs. Period. Okay? People call in. Tell us the symptoms. And we give a scale of 1 to 10. How bad did it stand? And you send a picture.
Are we supposed to, like, try to help figure out what they have? No, just send a picture. You know what we do? I got it. STD guessing game. No. We put up pictures and we guess what it is. Syphilis, gonorrhea. Don't want to. STD and guess. STD and guess. Yeah, I like it. We do it. We put it on Facebook. Fine. Open it up to the listeners. Guest TD. Guest TD. Fine. I mean, I got two more, but you ain't liked any of them yet, so. Let's hear it, bud. All right. How about. The saddest grandmother that's ever passed away. Oh, my God. I got it. I got it. Finally. Y'all are going to like this one. What's the saddest grandmother you've ever lost? So we're going to have people call in and tell us how they're going. Tell us the story. Such a bummer. I got it. How to pick a headstone. Oh, no. I'm about to pick one or two for myself right now. Craziest place you've ever spread ashes. Okay.
Finally. Worst skateboarding wipeout. I think that's wide reaching. Oh, my gosh. Okay, you don't like the grandma one. Saddest grandfather you've ever lost. Ever. Sickest relative you've ever had. Worst disease. The time you got so close to your dream and then you lost it. The most depressed you've ever been. Tell us where you were. All right. Call up, read the funniest obituary. You read the funniest obituary you ever did see. Okay, okay. Funniest way, someone you know dies. You ever contemplate suicide? Call us and tell us. We'll open the phones and be like a suicide hotline. Funniest eulogy. I'll play sound effects while they say, I'm so sad. I'll play. I can't see my wheeler. Holy cow. This is true. These are literally some of the ideas. We need to record this one. He comes in. He lays down on the couch. Lays down every time. He lays down on the couch and he breaks out of his paper. It's got 50 ideas on it. Puts his legs up and he's like, okay. Hear me out. Hear me out, y'all. This is the greatest. Jasper, help me with a couple of these. All right, Mike. What if we shoot people in the face? I wasn't even my idea. That's Cam's.
Liberty helped me out on this one. It's so good. It's the greatest. When he gives his ideas on Wednesdays, I look forward to that more than anything. I have to say, I do too. Even though they make me irritated. I hate you all. Jay does a nervous shirt shake. He's not nervous. All right, now listen. He touches the corner of his shoulder of the T-shirt and the bottom of the opposite point. Puppy AIDS. Okay? Puppy AIDS. And he pans it out. Why are you shaking your shirt so hard? I got an itch. I got an itch on my back. I'm itching on my back. He goes, okay. All right, now Mike. This pie ain't going to fly. This pie ain't going to fly. Tell me, how about we have people from the coastal areas call in, funniest thing you've ever seen a seagull choke on. How about this, guys? We get endangered species, and then we kill them. We kill them. We drop them. Kill them. We call it baby seal teeth. He always gives a preemptive. Not up. No more animals. That's what they're called. And then you go, no. And he goes, all right. All right. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.
I was willing to go to jail, but... It's the greatest. It's the greatest. I love you, Jay. I love you, Jay. You make my life. Feels good. There's love. Tough love. All right, you guys, let's do, let's play Ever Just Say Stuff. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Finally, somebody else's turn. Now, here's how Ever Just Say Stuff works. Boy. Here's how it works. Me and Woods have come up with... 10 clues. 10? Yeah. Come up with 10 clues. Oh, no. And these are clues about celebrities, okay? They better be well known. See, now that's what I was struggling with because I read Woods' and I was like, oh, dude, yours are great. And he's like, I thought yours were good. Yep. Because, see, L-O-B, she will, are we late? We need to break. Okay, when we come back, when we come back, we'll do this. So when we come back, we'll Play Ever Just Say Stuff. It's next. The Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes are huge. On Saturday, May 14th, The Mikey Show and M1's Takeover.
Qualcomm Stadium. Pration Street Mikey Show sticker is in and ready for your ride. It receives a prize. We've got a his and her mountain bike from Haro. A brand new Ibanez guitar. A 42-inchy plasma with 5.1 surround sound and Blu-ray player. Plus, we're adding new prizes daily. And we mention a brand new $24,000 FXDB Harley from San Diego Harley Davidson. Good things come to those who wait. And if you've been waiting to get a BMW 3 Series, now you can. The BMW Encinitas demo sales drive is back. Save thousands on our entire fleet of pre-owned service loaners. Like on a 2011 BMW 328i sedan. Lease for only $239 a month plus tax. That's right. Only $239 a month. Or lease a 2011 BMW 328i coupe for just $339 a month plus tax. Just $339 a month.
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You can RSVP to his Cinco de Mayo parties with a signal flare. Just indicate if you're a plus one or not. His wallet is made of chupacabra leather. He doesn't need the reassurance of calling his nachos supreme. There's an ongoing telenovela cliffhanger about whether or not he'll make an appearance. Spoiler alert, he doesn't. Only he knows why the mariachi band won't stop smiling. The name Guadalupe. Just sounds better when he's saying it. He can climb a cactus with ease. He is the most interesting man in the world. Don't always drink beer. But when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friend. Thousands of customers all over the world are sharing their stories of how Ovation Cell Therapy has helped grow their hair thickly.
Many of these wonderful stories are from cancer survivors who are excited to tell how Ovation Cell Therapy helped to reduce hair loss due to radiation and chemotherapy treatments. Ovation is proud to be a San Diego partner with City of Hope's Walk for Hope, presented nationally by Staples. Join the thousands nationwide committed to ending women's cancers. Be a part of this fundraising event Saturday, May 21st and help raise money for research, treatment and education. To sign up for Walk for Hope, visit walkforhope.org. To learn how ovation cell therapy can work for you, log on to ovationhair.com and watch the testimonials or visit the ovation booth at Walk for Hope, Saturday, May 21st. We'll be there to answer your questions. OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 for your special introductory discount. Ovation can work for you too. This just in, happy people tend to be healthier. It's something we always suspected but never knew for sure. That people with higher rates of happiness reported 50% better health. Is it just me or do happy people just seem to get all the breaks? How about the rest of us?
How do we become happier and take advantage of the health benefits? Kaiser Permanente is here to tell you that it can indeed be done. Studies show that performing an act of kindness can increase your happiness. The more acts of kindness, the better you feel. So next time, let someone ahead of you in line at the store. Pay the toll for the car behind you. It may sound like a bumper sticker, but a random act of kindness is never trite. So increase your happiness quotient and do something nice for someone. Secretly, you'll be doing something nice. yourself we're Kaiser Permanente and we want you to live well be kind and thrive to learn more visit kp.org slash thrive and click on mind body spirit it's no secret that when you start with something better you get something better it's why some of the sweetest peaches come from sunny Georgia why some of the most revered grapes come from the fertile soil of Napa Valley and it's why every great tasting drop of Arrowhead 100% mountain spring water comes from carefully selected sources in snow-capped mountains, a tradition that started in 1894. Arrowhead comes from places where the elements are just right, where minerals strike a unique balance, where each drop is filtered naturally beneath the earth. Then we bring it to you. So every time you drink Arrowhead, it tastes as crisp and refreshing as the day it was born. Arrowhead 100% mountain spring water. Born better.
Try Arrowhead brand 100% mountain spring water in our 700-milliliter Easy Grip Flip Cap Sport Bottle. Learn more at arrowheadbornbetter.com. Please recite it. Get ready for the party of the summer. Unity Tour 2011. 311 and Sublime with Rome. Friday, August 19th, the Cricut Wireless Amphitheater presented by Sleep Train Mattress Center. 311 and Sublime with Rome. Plus, special guests, DJ Soulman. and DJ Tricrome. Tickets on sale Saturday, April 30th at 10 a.m. at LiveNation.com. Ticketmaster or charge by phone at 1-800-745-3000. You could search the web and scour the papers. You won't find a lower mortgage rate than at Navy Federal Credit Union. We're so sure our rates are the lowest, we're putting our money where our mouth is. If we can't match a lower rate, we'll pay you. Come on into your new home. It's easier to get now than ever because Navy Federal's mortgage rates are crazy low and we'll match any rate that's lower or you get paid.
For details, visit NavyFederal.org. And check out our first-time homebuyer package. It's crazy good, too, with that new home smell. Equal housing lender. The Home Depot's made a special buy on EarthGrow by Scott's Color Advantage Mulch. Three bags are just $10, which means you can cover more garden for less. More savings, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. And I wear like a 44 small. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. Woods. I mean, hey, listen, I did snuff on the planet. I put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jay. You'd have to be dying not to come down and help you. I would have to have had my arm chopped off. On Anthem 94.9. Bands playing Independence Jam 2011. At the Oceanside Amphitheater. Bam. Boom. Have we told everybody to go by San Diego Harley and register for the tickets to that show? Yeah, yeah. That's a good idea. You can go down to San Diego Harley Davidson. The bike is there that you can win at OSI, Operation Street Impact. But you can also register to win tickets to Independence Jam. It's very cool. Good reason to get yourself down there. Not to mention, there's some real sweet bikes in there. And say hello to Tricia if you get a chance. Oh, creep. I'm just saying, say hello to her. I'll say it again. Say hello to her. By hello, I mean hello. And by hello, hello, I mean hello. Hello.
Jay, you didn't learn your lesson. I want to know where to go. I want to go. I know that she has a boyfriend. He may be incredibly large and take you down, Jay. All right, all right. Hey, don't. Hey. I saw him. I saw his creepy bony finger going up to that. Every single thought. I love that man. Every possible opportunity has to go that way. I love that man. I really do. I thought it was going to be me. It's not me, Tim. Every possible thought. It's incredible. Sorry, Kim. Anyway. Can I turn his microphone off? No, you don't need to. You won't need to turn it off. It's an extension of your board. Doesn't matter. 5701949 is our number. You ever just say stuff? Yes, we got five minutes. What? Let's save it till tomorrow. We got four minutes. We save it till tomorrow.
It's a good bit. I want it to be in prime time. Hey, you want to blow it out right now when it's not prime time? No. I'd rather do it in a better time slot. Weird. Everybody just hates me. Actually, it was about you teasing stuff and not getting to it. That wasn't about me. Always got to get to it. One way or another, though, Mike, it's a dig on you. One way or another, you're a loser, pal. He set it up. 23 years of this, you're still a schmuck. I can't say anything around here. I can't say a darn thing. No, just zip it. Shove it, Mike. I will zip it the rest of the week. Happy birthday. Phil is here to save the dead. I'm getting on a plane. Where are you going? I don't even care. Cleveland. I'm going to give him my credit card and I'm going to say, just... Get me out. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. That's what I'm saying to the person at the thing. I hear you. And by thing, I mean the deal.
By the deal, I mean the thing. Listen, I don't care where it is. Get me out. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. I don't care if it's going to Bora Bora or freaking El Paso. Just get me out. Hey, Hillary. Hi, everybody. How you doing? I'm good. How are you guys? Well, that's relative. That's relative. Hold on. I got the solution. What? Blue eye. It's kind of better. Always. It's kind of better. It doesn't do anything for me. Now I'm here. Yes, it does. It kind of works. We decided. It makes it better. We decided. It makes it better. You guys love the song, though. It makes it better, L.O.B. It didn't. Can I be honest? Yes. Nope. No, you can't. You didn't do anything. Lie to me. It's Friday. Woo! Yeah! Is Monday a holiday? Tomorrow's the royal wedding. Yeah. Isolate. I guess write that down. You guys, first thing in the morning, turn it on. Starting at 1 a.m. Our time. So rude. Why can't they schedule it around? Our time. Don't they know not everyone is in the U.K. right now? We're Americans. I get up at 1.30. I'll watch it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I know.
I'm going to wake up to it. Maybe watch SportsCenter. Watch the draft highlights, pal. It's a frigging draft tonight. You're watching the Royal Wedding. I want to see a million dollar, you know, thing going on. Check out a million dollar rookie named Cam Newton that signed. That's tonight, dude. I know. You'll see it in the morning. Why? I'll watch it a little bit tonight. You're not watching it tonight. I want to wake up. I want to turn on the TV and I want to see what's happening with those wacky Brits. Kate Middleton, don't you want to see her in her dress? No. I want to see her in Playboy, but I don't want to see her in her dress. Whatever. I do. I kind of care. I just want to see the highlights. I'll log on to people.com tomorrow morning. More than enough. Of this marriage. Because it doesn't happen very often. Who cares if they have a horse and carriage? I do. I do. You know it. They're not even from here. Help me understand. William and Kate. I mean, who gives a crap? They're on every freaking time.
I just can't wait for this to end. Listen, she's going to look all good. Think about it like this. It doesn't need to take over every news. It does. See, I don't see all that stuff. I don't watch all that. But what I do is I am interested because in the United States, you don't have that much money put into a wedding. It's a freak show a little bit. Oh, yeah, sure. Can't look away. It is. It's interesting, sure. I mean, I just saw this in Sienna's stack about how the Syrian envoy was like, his invitation was revoked or whatever. Oh, wow. I mean, how often is a wedding guest list political, like international politics are at play? It's true. Why did they do that? Do we know? Oh, because of what's going on in Syria. They did not like my country in Syria.
Yes. I bought the ticket already. I buy a ticket to London. I get the room at the Marriott. I use my freaking points. I can't get my points back. I can't get my points back. I have the room at the freaking Marriott. You're going to tell me I can't come? I guess I'll go hang around the Westchester Abbey or whatever the hell it's called. I'll ride that freaking Ferris wheel. The Ferris wheel. Over and over. Oh, look. Freaking Big Ben. Glad I spent $40,000 on see that freaking clock. Don't you want to go over London Bridge? No. Oh, yeah. I guess I did 20,000 times, right? Nothing else to do. I was supposed to see the freaking whale riding, and I'm going to have bangers and mash and go ride the Ferris wheel. Ferris wheel. Thanks a lot. Happy birthday. Yeah. Happy birthday. Or congratulations. Whatever it is you say. Whatever. You know? Cheerio. Nice to be here. I'll get you some penguins while I'm here. See you now? Yum. Thanks. What else? Anybody else have a happy birthday treat that want me to get the phenomenon? Let's see. What do you got coming up, Hillary? I grabbed Rise Against. I grabbed Cold War Kids, New Manchester Orchestra, New Incubus, some Johnny Cash, some Lit. I grabbed all kinds of good stuff. I know. Great. There you go. Thank you. Thank you very much. Lovely and talented Hillary is coming up next, and we'll come back tomorrow morning at 6 and do it all over again. The Mikey Show is out. Late.
Mikey in the morning. About the music all day and night. FM 94.9. It's about the music.