The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/02/11
Monday, May 2, 2011
osama bin laden deathnavy seal raidabbottabad compoundcourier intelligencelaura logan assaultfacetimehipstamatic applemonade standchargers draftwhite house correspondents dinnerobama trump jokesspecial teams
The show opened with President Obama’s announcement that Osama bin Laden had been killed in a Navy SEAL raid, followed by Mikey’s personal reaction to being woken by the news. Correspondents Sienna and Jay detailed the compound’s security and the intelligence trail from a Guantanamo detainee that led to the raid, while Laura Logan later described her brutal assault in Egypt. The program also featured lighter segments, including a debate about FaceTime versus regular calls, Lauren’s love for the Hipstamatic photo app, Jenna’s profitable lemonade stand, an analysis of the Chargers’ draft focus on special teams, and Obama’s jokes about Donald Trump at the Correspondents’ Dinner.
What happened, in order
Obama announces bin Laden killed
President Obama announces the successful operation that killed Osama bin Laden, describing the raid in Abbottabad and its significance for justice and national security.
Mikey wakes up to bin Laden news
Mikey describes being awakened by his wife Rebecca with the news that Osama bin Laden was killed, expressing his excitement and relief.
Compound description and raid details
Sienna explains how intelligence located bin Laden in a fortified mansion in Abbottabad, describing its high walls, barbed wire, security gates, and the SEAL team's 40‑minute helicopter raid.
Courier tip leads to bin Laden
The hosts recount how a detainee in Guantanamo gave the courier’s nickname, allowing intelligence to track the courier and pinpoint bin Laden’s compound.
Laura Logan recounts Egypt assault
Laura Logan details the sexual assault she suffered while covering Egypt’s uprising, describing the mob attack and her later 60 Minutes interview.
Chargers draft special teams focus
The hosts analyze the Chargers’ draft strategy, emphasizing special‑teams picks such as Jordan Todman and Ryan Mallett to address past weaknesses.
Hipstamatic app nostalgia
Lauren talks about her fascination with the Hipstamatic app that makes photos look like old‑film pictures, despite their low technical quality.
FaceTime vs regular phone call debate
The hosts discuss the quirks of FaceTime video calling, comparing it to regular phone calls and sharing personal anecdotes about its use.
Obama’s Correspondents’ Dinner jokes about Trump
President Obama jokes about Donald Trump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, referencing Celebrity Apprentice and Mythbusters to poke fun at the real‑estate mogul.
Jenna’s successful lemonade stand
Sienna’s stepdaughter Jenna runs a lemonade stand with a friend, earning $58 in two hours and learning basic business skills.
People mentioned
MikeyRebeccaWoodsL.O.B.SiennaJayChrisLaura LoganBarack ObamaGeorge BushBill ClintonDonald TrumpScarlett JohanssonSean Penn
36,890 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of Al Qaeda, and a terrorist who's responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children. At my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation against that compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan. A small team of Americans carried out the operation with extraordinary courage. and capability. No Americans were harmed. They took care to avoid civilian casualties. After a firefight, they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body. As a country, we will never tolerate our security being threatened, nor stand idly by when our people have been killed. We will be relentless in defense of our citizens and our friends and allies. We will be true to the values that make us who we are. And on nights like this one,
We can say to those families who have lost loved ones to Al Qaeda's terror, justice has been done. Tonight, we are once again reminded that America can do whatever we set our mind to. That is the story of our history. Whether it's the pursuit of prosperity for our people, or the struggle for equality for all our citizens, our commitment to stand up for our values abroad, and our sacrifices to make the world a safer place. Let us remember that we can do these things not just because of wealth or power, but because of who we are. One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. It marks the most significant achievement to date in our nation's effort to defeat al-Qaeda. Yet his death does not mark the end of our effort. There's no doubt that al-Qaeda will continue to pursue attacks against us. We must, and we will, remain vigilant
at home and abroad. If you're just waking up now, we got him. And that's what the headline says on the New York Post today. We got him. Winning. I was fast asleep last night. My wife, Rebecca, woke me up and my heart jumped. What's going on? And she said, honey, they just caught and killed Osama bin Laden. I was like, that's really, that's an amazing thing. There's only three reasons to wake me up. A fire in the house. Somebody's died. Or we freaking caught Osama bin Laden. You know what I mean? So I was fine with waking up to that news. You know, that's huge. That's huge. Ten years we've been looking for that creep. I can't believe that.
Really quickly, five people on the Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. That's Woods. That's L-O-B. That's Sienna. That's Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Chris. So fill us in, Sienna. How did this thing start and what happened? Okay, well, first everyone's like, how was bin Laden found? Now, last fall, intelligence officials found out where an Al-Qaeda carrier had... Bin Laden particularly trusted. They found out where he was living after they believed for a long time that he was probably living with Osama. The location was a mansion in Abbottabad. You mean a cave? No. A mansion, a huge compound that was built about five years ago for the specific purpose of hiding Bin Laden. Now, this place was raided yesterday, and the compound was surrounded by high walls with barbed wire. There was two different security gates. Nothing to see here. Yeah, exactly. A place that you would not think he would be hiding because, like, it's a mansion. It's a mansion with barbed wire around it. Just another...
goat herder that wants to have you know extra protection yes and so our president obama had given the okay for um the troops to go in and they did and he was actually osama bin laden was shot in the head by a navy seal is what's now coming out a navy seal is the one that did it um Four others in the compound were also killed. One of them was a woman. One of these real nice guys used her as a human shield. Oh, boy. And she was killed. Yeah, real classy. One of the others that was killed was bin Laden's adult son. And just his body was later buried at sea. And they say that they were keeping with Muslim customs by doing that. Because a lot of people are like, you know, why was he buried at sea? Was it because no one could mess with his body if he was buried in the ground? So, I mean, he's done. Yeah. And what I want, and I'm sure what everybody wants, is, you know, pictures. We want to know that he's gone. And we want to know that, you know, he's finally done with. Yeah. The only pictures I've seen so far have been on the news. And they're showing pictures of the compound in the room where Bin Laden was shot. And it's just blood everywhere on the floor, on the bed. I mean, it's...
messy place. I haven't seen that yet. I haven't either. But I mean, I can't wait. I wish I could fast forward the clock two years. I wish that there was a high definition National Geographic crew following them as they did all this because I cannot wait until we get the full, like how did they do it? Yeah, all the details. We're talking about a compound that was double reinforced. Like Sienna said, barbed wire all around it and somehow They got these dudes over those freaking walls. Yeah. Through two security gates. Two security gates. Yeah. I mean, let me put it this way in terms of how awesome these guys are. In my mind, I can't even figure out like with my imagination how they did it because of what they had to overcome in terms of dudes protecting him. Yeah. They had to get through security cameras, which how do you do that?
They had to get through double walls. They had to get through barbed wire. Then they had to get in. Then they had to find him. Then they had to kill him. Yeah. I just know that it was a helicopter raid. A team of CIA and Navy SEALs carried out a 40-minute operation. 40 minutes. That's quick. My goodness. I bet it seemed like... Four hours. Oh, yeah. They also had done a bunch of practice runs, you know, just to make sure they knew what they were doing when they got there. I think those dudes are badasses. Oh, gosh. Is there anything more badass than those guys? Imagine one of those guys for the rest of his life is going to be like, oh, yeah, I was the one that shot. Yeah, I pulled the trigger. Kill shot. I shot him. You know, somebody's going to have, some kid is going to have a memento from his house. Oh, absolutely. Be like, yeah, my dad's the one that did it. Uh-huh. Drinks for the rest of his life. Amazing. Never pay for a beer again. I just can't imagine what must be racing through your heart. Oh my gosh. Coursing through your veins as you're getting into that room. Scary. And you're coming face to face with his bodyguards and him. You know, I bet the brain can't even process it. I bet you're running on adrenaline. Training. It's not even programmed. How about...
How about the ride over? In the helicopter? In the helicopter. Oh, my gosh. I'm sure it was in the dark. No, it was at 3. It was actually at 3.15 p.m. their time. Wow. Which I thought, that's kind of interesting. Like, you know, they did it at a time where it was. I actually, like, Jay, I would have thought middle of the night. But I think everybody would think middle of the night. So 3 in the afternoon is actually surprise. Don't you think he'd hear the helicopters coming too? That's what I thought. But where does he live? You know, I mean, that's stuff like that happens all the time. He lived on the outskirts of, what's it called? It's called Abbottabad. Abbottabad. And it's about 31 miles north of the Pakistani capital. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So it's probably way out there. But it was a sprawling compound. Happy birthday. Huge. Yeah, just big pension. Yeah. Living it up. Yeah, I think the helicopters actually landed inside the compound. It showed, like, there's some footage of it today, and there's, like, little dots representing where the people ran and everything. I don't understand how the helicopters made it in there. Like, you'd think everyone is armed in that place, shooting that helicopter down, and they made it in there. Yeah. And not only that, killed Osama bin Laden within 40 minutes. Like, allies or something.
helping you out over there. It's 3.15. They're probably having a barbecue slash pool. Right, exactly. Bring me that martini. Yeah. And another was like, give me a bullet. No! Oh, no! I want another silver bullet. No! I guess one of the helicopters went down on the way out, too. Can you imagine? You're a high five and all of a sudden your helicopter starts to fail. Oh, boy. Nobody was injured, though. Yeah, no Americans got hurt. That's amazing. Unreal. Ten years. I can't believe it. Ten years. People always did a cave, you know. I never thought we'd get him. No. I really didn't because I thought, oh, those caves. There's no way. So intricate. Yeah. And it came. Here's what it came down to. It came down to someone in Guantanamo that gave the nickname of his courier. Crazy. Wow. And they were able to then track the courier. Back and forth as the courier was bringing back and forth information. And then from there, they were able to have a pretty good idea that this is where he was. Yeah, living with the courier. Same place. And then from having a pretty good idea that this is where he was, it went to, we're 99.9% sure that this is where he is.
I heard on one of the local news stations this morning from a former FBI agent was saying that the FBI, the CIA, Navy SEALs, like all these different bureaus and parts of the federal government working together that he had never seen and never would have imagined working together to figure this all out and get him. Yeah. Incredible. Oh, my gosh. Here's more of President Obama on it. We must also reaffirm that the United States is not. and never will be at war with Islam. I've made clear, just as President Bush did shortly after 9-11, that our war is not against Islam. Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader. He was a mass murderer of Muslims. Yeah, our war is against radical Islam. And they are faceless. That's what's so tough. I don't know who they are. Some more Obama. We will be relentless in defense of our citizens. and our friends and allies. We will be true to the values that make us who we are. And on nights like this one, we can say to those families who have lost loved ones to al-Qaeda's terror, justice has been done. Well, I'll tell you this. Osama bin Laden was a smart dude. He was a smart guy to be able to mastermind the stuff that he did. And it's great that he's been taken out, but the problem is that
You know, it's not over. Oh, no. Some other clown take over for him. Yeah, there's guys in the wings. You know, there's guys in training there. But for any of us, which all of us did, that witnessed 9-11 and, you know, all those people that lost families and kids growing up without parents, then to have that guy come on and gloat about it in a video after, it's a little bit of closure for them. They were talking to victims last night. And they said, yeah, you know, we're happy, but it's... Our kids still don't have parents. Yeah. He used to be the number one person on the most wanted list on the FBI's website. And this morning, the word deceased is across his face. Wow. Wow. That'll be a t-shirt by this afternoon. Yeah, right? Dude. That'll be a t-shirt. Pretty cool. Yeah. I'd pay a dollar for that. I don't know if I'd wear that t-shirt. I'd pay that for a dollar. I don't think I would either. I wouldn't wear it, but there's plenty of people that would. That would, yeah. Just unbelievable, though. Word of the day is mayo. And when I say that between now and 10... Caller number nine gets a pair of tickets to see Chris Cornell at Humphreys on May 6th. And you also get a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld. And you get to enjoy Viva La Musica. Are you sure the word of the day wasn't Mayo, as in the month of May in Spanish? Is that it? No. I knew that that would come up, but it's Mayo in honor of Mayo. All right. Be listening carefully.
Your phone calls. What do you think about this Osama thing? 570-1949. One of my other first thoughts was President Bush. I thought of President Bush right away because he was so adamant that we would eventually track him down. And I even remember when he said it, I was thinking, well, we, you know, I mean, I thought it was a great thing to say, but I just thought, you know, how will we actually do it? And, you know, I guess the important thing to remember is there's a lot of smart dudes out there. Absolutely. Imagine that call last night from Barack Obama to George Bush. I have a real quick, a little statement from Bush. What did he say? Obama called both Bush and Clinton during this. And it says in a statement, Bush called it a momentous occasion and said, quote, tonight, America has sent an unmistakable message. No matter how long it takes, justice will be done. We've got Bush.
They do. I'm glad we caught that guy with the big old long beard. Six feet tall guy, but could have played forward for a lot of NBA teams. Power forward. Power forward. But the problem is he didn't have any talent as a basketball player. That's why he's a terrorist. He's a terrorist, you know. I tried to recruit him. I know. We tried to get him in the summer leagues. In the summer leagues, but he just, you know what? First of all, we couldn't put the converse on his feet. He refused to wear them. Well, we got that SOB. But we got them. 570-1949. Let's see. And when Cecil from La Mesa is on the line and calling to talk about Bin Laden. Let's see. Cecil, you there? Yeah. Go ahead. This is from La Mesa. There's a picture of Bin Laden on the internet. I'll let you know. There already is? Yeah. I've been looking. A picture of him dead? Yeah.
Yeah, there's a bold shot in the head. Oh, gosh. Yes. Wow. Where? They had to have been leaked. Go search it. It might have been pulled. I don't know. Oh, boy. You got it? No. Oh. I'm just creeped out. I'm looking. Wow. Got it. Got it. Thanks for the call. I just Googled Obama shot. I can't find anything. Osama. Osama. There's always pictures of Obama on in my case. You're going to be getting a call from the Secret Service later. Good Lord. Yeah, there is an image. Wait, ew, I see an image. Ew, is that it? I don't know. Yeah, it says disturbing image. Yeah, I have the same image. Yeah, it is disturbing. Holy smokes. Oh, Seattle! It is a little on the disturbing side. I don't want to see things like that. Well, you know. Enjoy that dirt nap. Or in the ocean. He's in the ocean. Ocean nap. Oh, my gosh. Enjoy that ocean nap. His face, like, has an expression. Ew. Like, uh-oh. Like, I got caught. You got me. It says they took, like, obviously samples of his body to make sure, you know, they do the DNA test. Yeah, I read something about face recognition. Yeah. You know? Which, face recognition.
How do they have face recognition for him? Probably all those videos he put out. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Didn't hide a lot. I mean, he hid, but it's also very public. Yeah. Hello. Welcome back to Osama on the radio. Today is May 1st, 2011. And today we'll talk about this thing with American Idol. Obviously, with Pia getting kicked. Uh-oh. Somebody knocking at the door. I think I got to go. Yeah, well, he is gonzo. Yes. And they did a great job in capturing this creep. They sure did. Amazing. Hats off. M1 Paparazzi is on the line from Oceanside. What's up, Paparazzi? You know, I'm kind of surprised if they could figure out exactly where in the compound he was. If he built this place specifically as a hideout. You'd think you'd have numerous tunnels to exit the place the moment bubble strikes. I think they really used a lot of that information that they were getting from the informants. An element of surprise, too. I mean, it's easier to prepare for something if you know what's coming. If you don't know what's coming, it's a lot tougher. It's been 10 years. Yeah, 10 years. I got these suckers beat. Yeah, he may have been in the kitchen making a sandwich. Absolutely. Didn't have time to get down to his bunker. We have to have goat meat.
I don't think so. We have some. You've been to the store? I went last week. You eat all the freaking goat meat? I wouldn't eat. Good Lord, you eat all the goat meat? I barely like goat. Don't you? Every time I look, you have a piece of goat in your freaking mouth. Listen, when we became roommates, I told you, if I eat something, I replace. I had my name on the goat meat. I replace it. You don't have to freak out. I come for a sandwich. There's no goat meat, no goat cheese, no goat milk. Did you not drink my gold milk? I didn't freak out like this. Hold on. You hear some? You know it's not what you think. Okay, get the door. There's no way because we have been here for... Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. I feel kind of like a monster laughing. I did not. I can't hold it. Like, I want to laugh in celebration, but... That's the first thing I thought when I saw all the people in the... in the fountains at the school cheering cheering I was like I don't want anyone to die well I don't want anybody to die he made so many people die so he should and I'm not and I'm you know this is my opinion I'm not taking delight in his death but what I am is I feel safer you know I feel a little bit safer and I'm glad that we are
safer as a country. It's pride is what I feel for our troops, our president, our government, everybody. Well, and they went in there with the intent to capture him. Yeah. And he resisted it. Yeah. So they had to do what they had to do. I'm very proud of myself. Don't lie. You didn't do anything. What are you proud about? You didn't do anything. Oh, Trump. Oh, Donald. You didn't do anything. Type down. Quit it. 570-1949 is the number. Laura Logan. was the woman that was attacked when she was in Egypt covering everything that was happening when Egypt was ousting their president. She was sexually molested by these men, and she was beaten. And she spoke for the first time on 60 Minutes. She said it's the only time she will talk about it. She's doing it once we have the audio. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Wow.
Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The wait is over. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM. Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at independencejam.com. Or at FM949SD.com. 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th. Mother's Day is this Sunday. And Pro Flowers is offering an amazing Mother's Day special. A beautiful bouquet of two dozen assorted Mother's Day roses with a free glass vase. Plus a free box of chocolates. All for just $29.99.
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2.9% APR financing available for qualified customers through Toyota Financial Services. APR offer ends May 2nd, 2011. 12-month or 12,000-mile comprehensive warranty and one year of roadside assistance from date of certified used vehicle purchase. For all warranties, see certified supplement for details. We interrupt this radio broadcast for this exclusive ear-tingling news. Fox Tuesday is all new and it starts with a sensational new glee. It's gushing with gossip. Rumor mill is up and running. What you're doing is not cool. I'm going to punch your face off. Outstanding. Then on a new Raising Hope, Burt's a flirt and working hard for the money. The lawn and pool business isn't just about lawns and pools. People want a little eye candy. Who are you? Burt Bigelow Lawn Gigolo. An all new Raising Hope. followed by an all-new traffic light. Awesome! Fox Tuesday. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then... Free gas makes you dance. Pump it free with Fox 5 Free Gas. Yep, free gas. Just watch Fox 5 News at 10 every night. Scan the code or go online for your chance to win a $100 gas card. Fox 5 Free Gas, tonight after Fox on Fox 5 San Diego.
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and sugar and tag the ones that are truly better choices. Shop smarter, eat better with Nutrition IQ exclusively at Albertsons. This report, it's brought to you by Allstate. Renters are 50% more likely than homeowners to be burglarized. Protect your stuff from mayhem with Allstate Renters Insurance today. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. Back up here in Santee on the 125 southbound, the ramp from the 52 down to Fletcher Parkway. It's a solid 15 miles an hour. Also pretty slow for you on the 15 northbound from Market Street to Ocean View Boulevard in the teens. And as you travel through El Cajon, that 54 southbound to the 125 connector, always slow this. Time of morning, 25 miles an hour. This report brought to you by Check Into Cash. Check Into Cash, title loans with the lowest rate guarantee. Save money by switching to Check Into Cash. Visit CheckIntoCash.com for details. Loans made pursuant to a Department of Corporation's California finance lender's law license. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I see people at baseball games or at the fair and they're walking around with a white...
cardboard stick and it's got cotton candy wrapped around it. I feel sorry for them. That's a true statement. Lauren. The best way to clean your house? Yeah. In your underwear. Woods. You know what's good? Cheesecake. Zienna. I do everything for Todd, I swear. I pick out his clothes. I make his meals. I make all of his appointments. And Jake. I have a boob man. On FM 94.9. Everyone mad about you. Look like a dirty man. Oh, what a gorgeous-looking day. Not a cloud in the sky. Oh, I love you, San Diego. You're so gorgeous. You're so good-looking. Sunny and 85 today in San Diego. I'm not even talking about East County. I'm talking about San Diego. Tomorrow...
90. 40. I got it. Got that Laura Logan audio coming up in just a bit. If you're just waking up and you haven't heard, Osama bin Laden, dead. Osama bin killed. Osama bin killed. I love it. Yeah. Osama bin taken out. And it was a result of a long investigation started in August. where they started to get some information about where they thought he was, and then it all culminated yesterday. I come out here and rough talk to him and run him off. Not that. There it is. Don't forget the word of the day is Mayo, and I'll say it sometime now, between now and 10, when I work the word Mayo into a sentence, you be caller number nine, you win a pair of tickets to Chris Cornell at Humphreys on the 6th. It's already May, man. It's May. Wow.
I know, it happened fast. Four packet tickets to SeaWorld, Viva La Musica, which is going on all month long. Okay, so Laura Logan was the correspondent that was out in Egypt when all of the stuff was going down with President Mubarak, and they were ousting President Mubarak, and she went on 60 Minutes last night. I actually wanted to watch it when it happened, but I had to get to bed. But she talks about how it all started. Our camera battery went down. We had to stop for a moment. And suddenly Baha looks at me and says, we've got to get out of here. Baha is not happy here. He's Egyptian. He speaks Arabic and he can hear what the crowd is saying. Yeah. He understands what no one else in the crew understands. That's right. I was told later that they were saying, let's take her pants off. And it's like suddenly. Before I even know what's happening, I feel hands grabbing my breasts, grabbing my crutch, grabbing me from behind. I mean, and it's not, you know, one person and then it stops. It's like one person and another person and another person. And I know Ray is right there and he's grabbing at me and screaming, Lara, hold on to me, hold on to me. As she was pulled into the frenzy, the camera recorded her shout. And I'm screaming, thinking.
If I scream, if they know they're going to stop, you know, someone's going to stop them or they're going to stop themselves because this is wrong. And it was the opposite. The more I screamed, it turned them into a frenzy. Oh, my gosh. Petrifying. That is terrifying, man. And the thing about it is that she had a bodyguard with her. Yeah. I mean, but there was just too many of them. And they overpowered him. Someone in the crowd shouted that she was an Israeli, a Jew. Neither is true. But to the mob, it was a match to gasoline. The savage assault turned into a murderous fury. I have one arm on Ray. I've lost the fixer. I've lost the drivers. I've lost everybody except him. And I feel them tearing at my clothing. I think my shirt, my sweater was torn off completely. My shirt was around my neck. I felt the moment that my bra tore, they tore the metal clips of my bra. They tore those open. And I felt that because the air, I felt the air on my chest, on my skin. And I felt them tear out. They literally just tore my pants to shreds. And then I felt my underwear go. Oh my gosh.
And I remember looking up when, when my clothes gave way, I remember looking up and seeing them taking pictures with their cell phones, the flashes of their cell phone. My goodness. It's monstrous, man. It's absolutely monstrous. How do that many people stand there, you know, and participate, let alone not help. Like somebody's a help. How is there not one human that goes? No, you know, you know, the thing is, is that and this is true, especially of young men. Young men have a mob or not a mob, a pack mentality. And unfortunately, when something starts like that, it triggers something that's primal and it just starts happening. Just awful. Anyway, she explained why she's telling the story. Why are you telling the story now? One thing that I'm extremely proud of that I didn't intend is when my female colleagues stood up and said that I'd broken the silence on what all of us have experienced but never talk about. What did they mean by that? That women never complain about incidents of sexual violence because you don't want someone to say, well.
Women shouldn't be out there. But I think there are a lot of women who experience these kind of things as journalists, and they don't want it to stop them from doing their job because they do it for the same reasons as me. They're committed to what they do. They're not adrenaline junkies. They're not glory hounds. They do it because they believe in being journalists. See, my brother Mark, he feels that Laura Logan and Tim, I can't remember his last name, the guy that was just killed, that was... one of the makers of Restrepo. And a lot of these guys, he does believe that they're a gentleman junkie junkies and that they, um, you know, and I'm inclined a bit to believe it only because it's so far removed from anything I could ever think of doing. I mean, it's so dangerous. I mean, it's so dangerous. Uh, forget being a woman, just being there is just so dangerous. Um, she's pretty too.
She's beautiful. She reminds me of Naomi Watts. Yeah, she does. But you put yourself in some compromising positions for radio, you know, jumping out of a plane, being in a buried alive, you know. Yeah. Yeah. But these are not these are not anything that well, the buried alive is different, but jumping out of a plane, people skydive, you know, it's it's it's when you do something that is. risking your life for others. Yeah. Like, so others can see what's going on. You know, that's what they're doing. I think you just start reaching different echelons of what you're willing to do for your job. And I think, you know, once you get to that level, it's just, well, that's what it calls for. Yeah. Oh, that just breaks my heart. Yeah. Oh, I heard that people were trying to tear, like, pieces of her scalp off of her head. Oh, my God. Yeah. And that she said that... The thought of her children is what made her keep fighting for her life. Holy cow. I think I have that clip of the scalp thing you're talking about. They were tearing my body in every direction at this point. Tearing my muscles. And they were trying to tear off chunks of my scalp. Oh, my gosh. I had my head in different directions. Pulling at your hair. Oh, yeah. And not trying to pull out my hair. Holding big wads of it. Trying to...
Literally trying to tear my scalp off my scalp. You know what I want to know is how did it stop? Women, Egyptian women are what came in and helped. Here it is. I'm sorry. Laura was buried along by the mob until they were stopped by a fence. At that spot, a group of Egyptian women were camped out. And I almost fell into the lap of this woman on the ground who was head to toe in black. Just her eyes, I remember. Just her eyes, I could see. Wearing a chador. Yes. And she put her arms around me. And, oh my God, I can't tell you what that moment was like for me. I wasn't safe yet because the mob was still trying to get at me. But now it wasn't just about me anymore. It was about their women. And that was what saved me, I think. The women closed ranks around me.
I remember one or two, maybe three men standing with them and the women were throwing water in the crowd and they were pouring water over me because I couldn't breathe. I was rasping. Laura Logan last night on CBS 60 Minutes talking about what happened to her when she was in Egypt reporting on the ousting of President Mubarak and the Egyptian crowd, who was celebrating at the time, attacked her. And I mean attacked her. Big news this morning is the news about Osama bin Laden. He's been killed. The Americans went in yesterday, found out where he was, and killed him. And last night, about 7 o'clock Pacific time, President Obama said this. Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden. the leader of Al-Qaeda, and a terrorist who's responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children. He's in a mansion. Big, giant mansion. Million-dollar compound. Surrounded by high walls, topped with barbed wire. There was two different security gates. Unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Yeah. But we got in there, and we got him. He was buried at sea. Conflicting, you know.
I've heard something, Sienna's heard something about why the sea burial. And they're saying that the Islamic law says that you got to bury somebody within 24 hours. Within 24 hours, yeah. So, but there's also pictures online. You know, we saw pictures and they're really disturbing, this photograph. It's this one photograph they're showing to him. And it's really disturbing. But the one thing that I noticed about the photograph. Was that what they do is that they've got an old photograph of Osama bin Laden on the left. And then on the right, they have this horrific photo of Osama, you know, dead. After he'd been shot. And I said, you know what's really unusual is the beard. The beard on the earlier photograph, right down the middle, there's this gray streak. And then on the one after where he's dead. The gray, there's not that much gray. It's mostly like black. And I'm like, what did he do? Is he a Grecian formula guy? Maybe he just has not been stressed about this the last few years and just went through a real rough time and got the gray. And now he's just laying back partying. Now he's relaxed. It was relaxed. It grew back in brown. Yeah. But imagine if it didn't work, the Grecian formula.
And he walked back into the drugstore all angry about it. What is this? Is this customer service? Yes. This is this, the product. I don't even know. What is your freaking problem? It's generic, don't work. Why by generic? You have money? Million dollar compound? Yeah, how do you think I got it? Shaving the pennies. The reason I got it is because I'm frugal. What can I do? Your beard looks great. Oh, I don't know. Really? It's red. You look like a pirate. Red beard. Oh, really? You look like Pippi Longstocking. Oh, hi, Lucy. What do you want me to do? I'll tell you what I want to do. I don't want to be singing this and it'll come up tomorrow. I look like little Orphan Annie with it. I'll tell you. You buy Just For Men, not Grecian formula. No one used that since the 40s. Just For Men 349. Joe DiMaggio, last person to use. Grecian formula. This is Grecian formula, 49 cents. I'm not spending $3.49 on just for rent. I can't see it well. Is that Jay Isbell over there? Hey, listen. Maybe I'm Jay Isbell, but I am not going to spend that much money on a product. It's got the same ingredient. Look at the difference, the ingredients. It says the same thing on this one. That it says on that one, only this one make it red. That is not my problem. Really? I sell good.
You use good. You can't follow instructions. You're full. Guess what? My bodyguard walked in this morning. He goes, as a joke, Lucy, I'm home. Oh, that's so funny, right? You're such a comedian. Maybe Sienna's right and he wasn't stressed. Yeah. Maybe it's the lighting. Maybe it's the lighting that makes it look like it's completely. Not gray. The conspiracy theorists are saying that, oh, it's a Photoshop picture, the one that got shot. If you look at the side-by-side picture with the beard that you're talking about, they're like, it's the same picture. They just Photoshopped some bullet holes. Oh, gosh, I hope not. Imagine if that was your job to Photoshop. You're like, I'm still working on it. Dude, it'll be ready tomorrow. Hurry it up. It'll be ready tomorrow. I told you. I know. I told you I need it by five. You've got to make it look real. How long does it take? Well, that picture's not even supposed to be out. If it's out, it leaked. Sick. The official photos were not released yet. What, was that from somebody's iPhone? I don't know. Yeah. They're sitting there doing one of the... It's like a picture where he's got his arm around him and he's holding the camera out. Uh-oh. I meant to send this to my wife. I think I posted it on Facebook. Oops. Delete, delete.
They draw a mustache on him real good. Don't think that they didn't do wacky pictures. A thousand percent. Chances they did wacky pictures. Sure. Did a Weekend at Bernie's thing with him. Oh, my God. Walking him around. Ridiculous. Of course. You know. I just wonder what the reaction's going to be. M1 Gravy Train from L.A. M1 Gravy Train. How you doing? Good. Hey, I've called. Long time listener from a long time ago. And, you know, I served 10 years in the Marine Corps. Yeah. I went to Kandahar, Afghanistan. When this all first started, you know, I was building tent city with sandbags and everything. Wow. And when my friend texted me last night and told me that my girlfriend and I turned on the news and I sat there and watched it, something just didn't feel right. And I know you guys are big movie buffs. And have you seen the movie Whack the Dog?
Yeah. That's exactly what I said last night. I have not seen Wag the Dog. That's exactly what I said to Matt. I said, what if it's a big Wag the Dog? Well, explain, M1 Gravy Train. Well, okay, Wag the Dog is basically a movie about the president at the time comes into a, he has a sexual relation with somebody he's not supposed to. And it's right before the time of re-election. So what they do is, Hoffman is this, big movie producer, he creates a war, pretty much. And I'm not saying that the war was created. Don't get me wrong, because I've been there. I'm not saying the war was created, but he creates this war to get America's population off of their minds, off of... Okay, I understand what you're saying. You're saying that you believe that it's possible that President Obama created this thing.
and said that Osama bin Laden has been killed to improve his popularity with the American people? Don't necessarily that, per se. But, you know, I think... Well, if not that, what? If not that, what? Mikey, but last week you reported that 400 terrorists escaped the camp. Just last week, just less than seven days ago. Uh-huh. April 25th, you reported 400 terrorists. Yeah, they built a hole, they did a tunnel, and they got to him, and they got out, right? Right.
Do you believe that it's fishy? Is that what you're trying to say? You believe it's fishy? I do believe it's fishy. It's at the perfect time before campaigning starts. It's hard. I don't feel good about it. That's it. I'm not saying anything's bad about it. I just don't feel good about it. And especially now that he's going to be buried at sea. There's not even sea around there. Now, I will say this, and listen, I'm not alone in this, because I said this, and I think Sienna and Jay were like, yeah. I thought it was weird that he was buried at sea. Yeah, and he just said, the caller just said, and there's not even sea around there. It's in Afghanistan. So they must have flown him out, took him to a boat, and buried him at sea. You know, listen, whatever. I mean, until they prove that he's not dead, I believe he's dead. I hope I'm not dumb. You saw, if you looked at Facebook for any amount of time last night, you saw the, oh, sure is coincidental. And it's like, what? If he's not dead, all he has to do is he'll post a video. He'll have a video on YouTube by this afternoon. How stupid are you people? Yeah, they're saying, oh, coincidental, Barack's ratings are low. So he went, I mean, dude, at the end of the day.
You got the guy responsible for 9-11. Yeah. Who cares when it happened? He's dead. Crazy. Let's play Name That Tune. 5701949. Call us right now if you want to play Name That Tune. You have to pick me, Sienna, Woods, or L-O-B to represent you. And when we recognize... What's the theme today, Jay? It's wedding songs. Wedding songs. And I've got a $50 gift card to proflowers.com. Perfect for Mother's Day. That's right. Call us right now, 570-1949. Pick me, Sienna, Woods, or LOB. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call 570-1949. Here comes the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover.
All the way into Rancho Bernardo. The prizes are huge. On Saturday, May 14th, the Mikey Show and M1s take over Qualcomm Stadium from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Ration Street new Mikey Show sticker is in and ready for your ride. And prize. We've got a his and her mountain bike from Harrow. A brand new Ibanez guitar. A 42-inch LG plasma with 5.1 surround sound. And Blu-ray player. Plus, we're adding new prizes daily. He mentioned a $24,000 FXDB Harley from San Diego Harley Davidson. IS, baby. Come on. AIS. Have you called? Have you saved money yet? If you have, call us and tell us about it. But the rates have dropped. The rates have dropped. Have yours? I'm talking about auto insurance rates here in California. They've dropped and you could be paying less for your auto insurance, but only if you know which companies.
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Mother's cookies will always remind me of Grandpa's house. Or better yet, leaving Grandpa's house. We used to have family reunions at his place. My aunts and uncles would sit around and retell outrageous old stories. Usually at the same time. That's when Grandpa would give me the signal. And we'd slip out for a drive to get Mother's cookies. We both loved the circus animals for the pink frosting and the way the round sprinkles crunch on your teeth. On the way back... Grandpa would take the long way home, and we'd eat cookies and listen to nothing but jazz and the sound of the ocean. I know it's simple, but Grandpa and I both liked simple. And now, at every family reunion, that's the story I like to tell, over and over again. There's a memory. Visit your local lawns to find all the flavors you love, like circus animal, taffy, English tea, and, back again, Mother's Peanut Butter Gauchos. Prepare enough to light speed. Good idea, Han. We've got to get the Chevron Extra Mile for the takeoff to adventure game. You can instantly win Extra Mile bucks or enter your code online for a chance to win a Disneyland Resort vacation to experience the new Star Tours with airfare from Southwest Airlines Vacations. That was my energy drink, buddy. No bridges necessary. Open to legal residents of California, Oregon, Washington, 18 and over. Void or prohibited. See rules in stores or at extramilegame.com. Dance June 30th while supplies last. Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations.
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KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station, and now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't know the difference between hot and even. Lauren. I washed my hands like a thousand times when I could. Woods. I don't know what my point is on that, but I just felt like saying it. Zienna. I love salami. And Jay. I've got bees in my attic right now. On FM 94.9. There you go. Little doobies. Yeah. I remember when the Iraq War started. The guys in the F-18s were listening to Van Halen, Dreams, when they were flying in. I wonder what they were listening to as they were going to get Osama Bin Laden. This. This, Doobie Brothers. He has the weirdest voice, Michael McDonald. He does, but isn't it great at the same time? It's, I hate it, but I love it. I love it. I like, I hate it. I hear it, I'm like, ugh, and then I'm like. I feel the exact same way as you, except for the hate it part. I hate it.
Beautiful. I would imagine that that's what a St. Bernard would sing like. Absolutely. A St. Bernard that parted his hair down the middle with a barrel around his neck. Wow. Name that tune in a minute. Sienna, what's the word? Well, if you're just waking up and you haven't heard, Osama bin Laden has been killed after nearly 10 years of searching for him. He was found in a mansion, a huge compound about 30 miles north of the Pakistani capital. Four other people were killed. One of them was his adult son, and a woman was used as a human shield. She was killed in the compound as well. His body has been buried at sea. Also, you guys remember on Friday, the space shuttle Endeavour was supposed to be launching. Well, it has been postponed, and NASA is saying it won't get off the ground until at least next Sunday.
Which means Representative Gabrielle Giffords was flown back to the hospital in Houston, left Florida. She wheeled her back out there. She gets back in right away. No word. She's not really recovered. No word if she'll be back for the second attempt at a launch. Did you guys see that M1 Nation wants us to videotape Woods and LOB? Yeah, your bit where L.O.B. is Gabrielle Gifford and she's trying to raise her thumb, but she needs an assistant to help her raise the thumb. Oh, my gosh. Two divas. How dare you? How dare you guys? She's doing well, you guys. She can lift her thumb. She can lift her own thumb. She's, you know, communicating. Hey, Gabrielle, are you excited to have to go back out to the launch now? She may not go back out. All right. You know, it's not that. Not that bad. She got okayed from doctors. Yeah, why'd they rush her back? They didn't rush her back, they took her back. Woods, what's going on in sports?
Well, my Friars haircut is four days away. If you didn't hear, I said that if the Padres could win six in a row, I will cut my hair into a Friars haircut. They took two out of three from the Dodgers, and they took two in a row. So if they can win four more, I got a friggin' Friars haircut. I may quit my job and leave town if I ever do it. Yeah, Potts took two or three from the Dodgers. They won seven to nothing yesterday. And the NBA playoffs are going on right now. And, boy, there's a series that, even as somebody who's not a huge basketball fan, I'm watching this series. The Heat and the Celtics. And it is getting chippy already. Paul Pierce was thrown out yesterday. They teed him up twice. And the Heat won game one in Miami, 99-90. Here is King James talking about it. LeBron, cut one. I mean, both teams want to win that bad. I love it. You know, and we just go out there to continue to execute. You know, let's not blow our cool when something may happen. That's not a basketball play. We just got to continue to keep grinding, keep working our game plan and keep making the right plays to help us win. That's right. Keep grinding. You got to keep grinding, my friends. Yeah, sign me up for that. Should LLB about it? Oh, boy. LLB, do you ever get tired of hearing those little drops of you? Gigantic.
Oh, babe. That's not even me. That's the Tom Tom girl. I always hit that one at the same time. I love it. I don't know how. Great UFC action Saturday night. I watched it and I saw maybe one of the greatest knockouts I've ever seen. It was Leota Machida. taking on Randy, the natural couture, in his last fight, the Hall of Famer. He did a karate kid. You know the... The crane. He did the crane. No, he didn't. Wait till you see it. He didn't do the crane. Dude. He didn't do the crane. Did he? So, Leona Machida, his deal is karate. Karate. Karate. And there's not a lot of guys that fight
Karate. No. Anymore. There's not many people that say it like that. Karate. Karate. Jiu-jitsu, Muay Thai. There's all these different forms of martial arts. But he is an old school dude. Guess who he thanked after the fight? Let me guess. Pat Morita. Mr. Miyagi. You're not far off. Jackie Chan? Nope. Ralph Macchio. Bruce Lee. No. Damn it. Aren't I far off? Chuck Norris. Jean-Claude Van Damme. Now you're getting really close. You're getting very close, L.O.B. Seagal. Steven Seagal. Holy cow. He was one of the guys that helped him with it. Steven Seagal is a black belt in karate. Yes. Anyway, he does the deal where he's like, he does this weird thing, Machida, while he's fighting. He'll do this weird thing where he rotates his hips while he's fighting. He'll rotate his hips. And he fakes the, I'm going to kick you with my left, and comes up with his right foot and hits Couture on the chin. And in slow motion, it's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. Teeth rattler? Oh, man. Out.
Oh, my God. See you later. Yeah. Couture. Good Lord. And he, you know, when he came back, you know, when he came to and he stood up, he said, that was a great shot. That was a great shot. Oh, my God. If you're going to go out, go out big. Yeah. It went out big. Yeah. Foot to the jaw. Yeah. And he thanked everybody there. Fifty five thousand people sold out in less than an hour. And. George St. Pierre, he won against Jake Shields. There was one fight where I thought, I'm glad that Woods is not seeing this fight. Because Woods already thinks that it's a bit barbaric. Vomitus. Is it the redhead? Uh-uh. The redhead. I saw some aftermath of a redhead and his little team. I don't know what they call him in the corner. They were blotting his head. And it was just all kind of blood.
No, this guy, it was a great fight. It was a really, really great fight. This guy, somebody that saw it will know, I believe it's called a contusion, but it was on his forehead. It wasn't bleeding or anything. It wasn't bleeding. It just puffed up. I'm not kidding you. It puffed up. This is not an exaggeration. It puffed up to the point where it looked like the elephant man. I'm not kidding. I'm not exaggerating. That's not an exaggeration. Surprised I'm not into that. Yeah, really. From what? From like the... That's what Rebecca said. Rebecca loves it, by the way. And our nanny walked into the room and saw it for a second, saw Rebecca laying there with me watching it. And she goes, you like this one? And Rebecca goes, yeah. And she goes, ugh. And walks into the room. I would do the same thing. Yeah, she goes, ugh. Rebecca loves it. I love it. It's filthy. His head.
Rebecca said, what makes that happen? What's in there? Fluid? Air? What is it? Yeah, it's not fluid. It's not supposed to be happening. But they put ice on it and it started to go down. Oh, God. You use a pocket knife. Just lance it. Or you just get your two thumbs and squeeze really hard. Oh, my gosh. Please. Please. This is a very gruesome show already. Yes, it is. 570-1949 is our number. We're going to play a little Name That Tune. M1, get Sticker Maker from IB. Who do you want? Hang on the line. M1 Rick from Escondido. Who do you want? All right. Calm down. M1 Mike from Escondido. Who do you want? M1 Oceanside from Oceanside. You've got me. Too bad. Who knows, dude? Who knows? You're going to win it, Mike. I might do this for you. I feel like you're going to win it. Now, what do we got as a prize again, Jay? Today, we're giving away a $50 gift card to proflowers.com. Nice. It's perfect for Mother's Day. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Here we go. These are wedding songs. We got to use our name as a buzzer. I don't know. Here we go. Mikey. Oh, wow. Chicago. Yep. Lauren. Oh, wow. Go, Lauren. Elton John.
I knew that. Dang it. Can you feel the love? Can you feel the air? There you go. Here we go. Mikey. Mike. Debbie. No, no, no. The Bengals. Damn it. I was too. That was like taking that. Yeah. The check swing. The check swing. Can I time out one second? What is the rule when someone's like thinking like that? I give him three seconds to... But when do we get to jump in as the second person? As soon as you say? When the three seconds is up. Then we get to go... Yeah, as soon as they get it incorrectly. Okay. Feast. Here we go. Joel Cocker. Oh, wow. That's good. That guy move weird when he sings? Yeah. That patch of hair around the front of his head. Guy's face can tour it when he sings. Yeah. Mikey.
Back to you, boys. Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. Sienna. NSYNC. I was gonna succeed. Score me. We all have one. Oh, wow. Tight game today. Here we go. Mikey. Dang it. Stop thrusting. Air thruster. Here we go. Thrusts every time he gets it right. Mikey. Dang it. Extreme. No! Man, get some. It's disgusting. Here we go. Mikey, gosh darn it! No! No! I'm like, really, there's too much thrusting. There is a lot of thrusting. I'm looking away. His brain just works in that splinter. The rest of us have one. I'm catching up right here. Yes, you got this. Here we go. Mikey. Yes! Sienna!
Three. Sienna. Seal. Sienna. Remember we have to wait? There's a wait. Why can't I yell my name? We just said that's her role. You can yell her name. We just said whenever the person gets it wrong. She didn't say the name of it. When you get it wrong. When they get it wrong, then when the buzzer goes off, the first person. No. You should be able to yell your name. Mikey's trying to answer. She's going, Sienna, Sienna, Sienna. That's what I've always done. HPD. Here we go. Mikey. What? Sienna. A pink. Lauren. Sienna. Lauren. There you go, Lauren. I was waiting until after the thing had run. What? Oh, boy. That's what we said we were going to do. That's what we just said. I know, and then I said it again. You said it before the alarm went off. Oh, my God. This game sucks. Oh, crap. Here we go. Shut up, Lauren. Keep thrusting. A moment. Michael. You told me to shut up. Kelly Clarkson. Okay. Whoa. Kelly Clarkson.
Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson. Now, Mike and Lauren have two. Woods has four. I have one. Here we go. Mike. Lauren. Mike. I think that was Mike. Do you? I think that was me. I heard Lauren first. That's okay. Why? It's Brian Adams. You got a host. Kelly Clarkson. Okay, we have two remaining. What's the score? The score is Mike has two. Lauren has three. Woods has four. I have one. Okay, we have two two-pointers. Lauren. Woods. Lauren. Sinead O'Connor. Yep. Lauren's in the lead now. What's the score? Mike has two. Lauren has five. Woods has four. I have one. This is a two-pointer. Mikey. Oh, God. No. There he is. Oh, wow. He's air spanking. He's spanking. He's now spanking. He's air spanking. Air spanking. The only thing worse than the spanking motion.
In general, it's the air spanking version. The look on his face. When he combines the two, it's always a good move. Oh my gosh. M1, get Sticker Maker from IB. Woods has done it for you. I knew it. That's right. I knew it. I knew it. Hang on a line. I knew you. I knew you. I knew it. I see you. I knew you. I see you knowing me. I will love you violently. First annual M1 contest will end on Cinco de Mayo. That's when we'll crown the M1, the ultimate M1. It's because it's Mikey's favorite day of the year. Cinco de Mayo. So get ready for it. So my wife did nix the idea.
Of me getting a motorcycle. Weird. I wanted one really bad. She mixed it. She said there's no chance. She didn't say there's no chance. She just let me know how much she's in opposition. Yeah. So rather than, you know, fight it. Happy wife, happy life. Happy wife, happy life. Good man. But I, she's afraid that I'll get in an accident. Yeah. Would you still go... Do lessons? What's the point? There's no point if you're not going to buy one. What's the point? Because then you could say, well, babe, I have these lessons. What am I supposed to do with them? She could go to the lessons with you and learn more about it. I just wish that she considered that I drive like a grandpa. Fair enough. I want to tour. I don't want to race. I know, but on a cruise. But other people don't drive like grandparents and they could hit you. She's not worried about you. She's worried about other people hitting you and doing things to you. You know what I saw the end of this weekend? What's that? Country Strong. Yes! Yeah. I saw the end of it. Mine is Sienna's favorite movie ever. I know. I liked it. It's great. You need to watch the whole thing. Yeah. I mean, I liked it. What I saw of it, I liked it. I'll watch it. You ever just walk around your house going, because I'm country strong? I do. Hey, Woods, I thought about you because Woods loved the movie, but...
Did you like the music or you didn't like the music? Oh. You love the music. Yes. I have a CD in my car of the entire soundtrack. It's not old time country, which he rails against. I like Garrett Hedlund's music. The guy. That's old time country. I don't like the... Silver Wings. Yeah, Silver Wings is Merle Haggard. You don't like the song Country Strong? It's okay. BS. You like it. Admit it. I just said I walk around my house singing it. Don't be like a guy that's into the broken trees, man. I'm not. I just told you. I walk around my house singing it. Yeah. But I'm not like... Which means you like it. Yeah, that's a good song. You like contemporary country. Yeah, but for the most part, when you saw Gwyneth sing it, I was like, I'm out. But it was cool because it was Gwyneth. Paltrow. The only thing I didn't like that song. Shake It. How terrible is that? Shake That Thing was a stupid... That's New Country. She looked very awkward performing that song. Not really you shaking it up there. The guy singing, he was dynamite. And Gorgeous. And Leighton Meester too. They were good together. Let me just say, this is not an Academy Award winning film. No way. This is a blue crush of country music. It's the Haagen-Dazs of films. It's not...
It's not fancy food. It's very, very... meat and potatoes type food, but it tastes good. If you saw Pure Country with George Strait and loved it, like I did, like L.O.B. did, like Sienna did, you'll like Country Strong. It has Garrett Hedlund, who's gorgeous. Garrett! It has Tim McGraw, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Leighton Meester, who's one of the girls of Gossip Girl. Happy birthday to Garrett, our program director. Happy birthday, Garrett! Billy, Detroit, Seattle! Garrett! Yeah, my wife this weekend watched Country Strong. And I don't know what the other one that she watched was. But she walked around yesterday looking like Tammy Faye Baker. What do you mean? She had the mascara streaking down the face. She cried at Country Strong. There was another one. Maybe it was Hereafter. Because Jamie and I watched Hereafter. And it was the most depressing movie you've ever seen. Oh, no. It's terrible. She was watching something that got her. So I'm Bin Laden's dead. He's still dead.
This just in. Yeah, this just in. It's still good. You know that Friday song? Friday. Of course. Rebecca Black. Katy Perry did a cover. Slowed it down real good in Australia. Slowed it down. Wow. It's pretty funny. Play it for you. I'm running out of time, out of time. Pop it in. Turn it on. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949-MIKEY. This is The Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. Wait is over. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. On the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii.
Tickets are only $35 with no additional fees. $1 of every ticket sold will go to the About the Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at IndependenceJam.com or at FM949SD.com. Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, presented by Miller Lite, Sunday, June 5th. Ultra Titanium Credit Card is here! This credit card is super jam! Double points, triple points on Monster Mondays. Redeem your millions of points for kitchen utensils, yarn, airline flights with two layovers. What's the point of earning a lot of points or miles with a credit card if you can't do anything with them? There's even a coloring book devoted to the human pancreas. With U.S. Bank Flex Perch reward cards, we don't have to sensationalize things. Only 20,000 flex points earn up to a $400 airline ticket. $400?
On over 150 airlines. Plus, each ticket comes with a $25 allowance for baggage fees, in-flight food, or drinks. $25? You heard me, Mr. Big Voice. Plus, earn quickly and redeem easily for travel, merchandise, or cash back for you or your business. Fantabulastic! Apply at flexperks.com or call 800-360-2900. Points go farther with Flex Perks Reward Cards. All of us serving you, U.S. Bank. U.S. Bank! Stop that. U.S. Bank Flex Perks Reward Visa credit cards issued by U.S. Bank National Association, Indy. I am so thirsty! Make your weekends even hotter at SeaWorld with Viva La Musica, now through May 22nd. This fiery festival celebrating Hispanic heritage is back with savory authentic cuisine, local entertainment, and performances from today's hottest international Latin artists live at Cirque Stadium. This weekend, catch Zion and Lennox on Saturday, May 7th, and Maria Gabriela and Peche from Isa Te Quiero Mas on Sunday, May 8th. Then next weekend, don't miss Bellanova on May 14th and Fonseca on May 15th. Enjoy every weekend of Viva la Musica along with all your favorite SeaWorld rides, shows, and annual encounters with a fun card. Pay for a day, play all year. The fun continues this weekend with Viva la Musica at SeaWorld.
For showtimes or to buy your fun card, visit SeaWorld.com slash Viva. Concert seating is limited. Entertainment subject to change without notice. Event included with park admission. Restrictions apply. Something lavish is upon us, San Diego. Fabulous. Indeed. One lucky local will bask in the glory of living lavishly without spending lavishly for an entire year. That's 365 perfectly fabulous days of tea times and tennis lessons, spa passes and tango classes. Wind surfing and surf and turfing. So get whisked away into the live lavishly for a year sweepstakes, where one lucky person will relish over $70,000 in daily deals just for entering at signondailydeal.com. Everyone's a winner just for signing up, as they can enjoy up to 90% off San Diego's most fabulous restaurants, attractions, and more. So stay fabulous, San Diego, and enter to win the live lavishly for a year sweepstakes at signondailydeal.com. Fabulous. You may just walk away with an entire year's worth of deals worth $70,000 absolutely free. No one knows San Diego like Sino. Dude, what happened last night? I can't find my Super Big Gulp cup. What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup.
All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven, but what happened after that? Hey, I think we got kidnapped by a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah, and they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Hola, mi amigos. No way, he's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right, and he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait, didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah, I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub! Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today. Only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie The Hangover Part 2 in theaters May 26th. We interrupt this radio broadcast for this exclusive ear-tingling news.
Fox Tuesday is all new, and it starts with a sensational new glee that's gushing with gossip. Rumor mill is up and running. What you're doing is not cool. I'm going to punch your face off. Outstanding. Then, on a new Raising Hope, Bert's a flirt and working hard for the money. The lawn and pool business isn't just about lawns and pools. People want a little eye candy. Who are you? Bert Bigelow Lawn Gigolo. An all-new Raising Hope. followed by an all-new traffic light. Awesome! Fox Tuesday. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then... Free gas makes you dance. Pump it free with Fox 5 Free Gas. Yep, free gas. Just watch Fox 5 News at 10 every night. Scan the code or go online for your chance to win a $100 gas card. Fox 5 Free Gas, tonight after Fox on Fox 5 San Diego. Bacon. Listen to it. Sounds like a party. Actually, it is a party. Bacon Alia. Denny's celebration of bacon. Seven new bacon dishes. Like the triple bacon sampler. Or maple bacon sundae. Starting at just $4.99. Come on in and party.
Denny's. America's diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. I'm the broken bottle that was thrown out a car window on the highway. I used to be full of delicious factory sweetened iced tea. Sort of like your tire. Used to be full of air. Hope you have Good Hands Roadside Assistance. Introducing Good Hands Roadside from Allstate. A different kind of roadside assistance. You'll never pay a dime unless you use it. And it's open to everyone. Not just Allstate customers. Go to allstate.com slash roadside to register and get important information. This report is brought to you by AccountTemps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Call or visit them at AccountTemps.com, an equal opportunity employer. Heading on to 15 southbound at Main Street. We've got an accident that was there earlier. They have cleared that. You'll probably find a little residual slowing, though. Also checking out the 805 northbound before University Avenue, an accident on the right shoulder, and in Chula Vista on the 5 northbound between E Street and Coronado Bridge. It is pretty slow this morning.
This report, it is brought to you by SeaWorld San Diego. Your weekends are about to get hotter with SeaWorld's Latin music festival, Viva La Musica. This weekend on May 7th, Zion and Lennox, and on May 8th, Maria Gabriela and Pecha perform live at SeaWorld. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. First surf shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Monday morning. Brought to you by Joe Roper Circle Repair. Beautiful morning out there. That's to be sure. Sunny skies and warming up air temperature, but not much surf to go along with it, unfortunately. West-northwesterly swell has all been faded out. Touch the southwest out there mixing in with it at the same time, too. Most spots in that kind of ankle-knee waist-size zone at best. Maybe a rare plus about it. Standout spots. Most opens with a combination of swells. Beach breaks probably were best, but today maybe a longboard session that we had there. Beach breaks looking pretty darn flat. Anyways, it's a beautiful day, so enjoy it. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surplight.com. For all your surfboard repair needs, go see Joe Roper. The surf report can only be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Lauren. I was the creep. Yeah. I was kissing boys when they were sleeping. How old? Four. Woods. I liked it.
Being out in the country, too, man. Throw a dip of snuff in, have a couple beers, kind of feel like a man, right? Sienna. I want to fly to New York just to go to the Pop-Tart store. And Jake. I can cry now at the drop of a hat. Something just sad happened. On FM 94.9. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. That stuff's hooey. Maybe I'm an old soul. Because I liked this when I was in my 20s. Yeah. I didn't admit it. I didn't admit it to anybody. The only person that knew it was my mom. You and your mom sitting around listening to Vince Gill? Yeah, I told my mom, you know, I'm like, I got this record I want you to hear. And she loved it. And I'm like, I can't admit that. I can't admit it to girls. I can't admit it to... He's great. Vince Gill. When he does this thing, you know this, Ciener? Do you know Vince Gill? Yeah, I know who he is. You know who he is? He'll do this thing where he squeezes his vocal cords really, really tight and does this real whiny thing.
And when he does, I feel like a German shepherd that's getting scratched right in the back and my leg starts to shake. It's that good in my ears that I'm like... Here it comes. I'm about to start shaking my leg. You ready? That is so good. It's so weird how a human voice is like an instrument. Oh my goodness. Jerk. How dare you sing that? How dare you do that to my face? A good voice is something that everyone wants. Oh, yeah. Everyone. I know it. Well, if you didn't already hear it, Osama Bin Laden is dead. We got him. And it took a long time to gather all this information, but we did. And he is dead. Yeah, buh-bye.
Independence Jam, FM 94.9, Independence Jam, Our Coastal Invasion, 2011, Cold War Kids, Leaky Lee, Peter, Bjorn, and John, Band of Skulls, Everest is going down, man. You can get tickets. They're going to sell out. So my advice, because it's going to be on the pier. It's only $35. It's going to be on the pier in Oceanside and at the amphitheater there, and it sells out. So don't wait. That would be a very bad idea. Oh. Don't wait. Katy Perry was doing a concert in Australia and threw this out to the audience. Crazy to me how that YouTube, man, touches the whole world. I mean, everyone knew that song. It's Australia, man. They know it. In Australia, they're singing along. Yeah. There's Indian kids that are like, Friday, Friday. Friday, your boy make a big noise playing in the street. Gonna be a big man someday. You got mud on your face. You rip this trail. Kicking your can all over the place. Sing it. We will, we will rock you. Oh, wow. We will, we will rock you. Pause.
Buddy, you're a ying man. Singing. Anytime I hear that song from now on, it's that voice. Buddy, you're a ying man. Singing. You've got bread on, you think? No, really, just a little bit. You've got a little bread. There's a little bread there. Oh, that is good stuff. 5701949 is our number if you want to give us a call. Please do. We've got an email here, and we'd love to get your opinion on it. It says, Mikey, I never thought... to put parental controls on my computer because I have two teenage daughters. But I used our family computer last weekend, and I guess our 15-year-old daughter was still signed into Yahoo or something like that. A pop-up came up that said, you still there, sweetie? No. No, wink face. I'm creeped out because the guy's name was blank blank 1985. What does that make him? My age. 26, 25 or 26, depending on when he was born. I was born in 85.
I don't want her in chat rooms with dudes. Oh, that's so scary. So scary. Because, you know, the thing that scares me about it is that even if you put the parental controls, are the kids able to get through that? Probably. Probably. They're probably savvier than the parents. Yeah, for sure. Oh, man. What do you do? I don't know. You got to confront her. You got to confront her. And you got to say, hey, I need the... I need it. I need to know, like, who this guy is. I need his, you know, the whole bit. I need the whole bit. I would go and find, like, articles to where those online chats go wrong. Oh, yeah. And news stories and how stuff happens. And I would sit him down and I'd say, look, read all of these. See what happens. Like, these girls were just like you and look what's happened to them. You know, it's a scary world. Not this guy, Dad. His name is Tim and he's so cool. You're an idiot. We're not even, like, going to ever meet. We're just... Talking. And we're not even like that. Oh, my gosh. Did I get a life? It's not even your business. Get out. OMG. It's like I'm there. Their room becomes like their apartment. Yes. Get out. But I own it. I own it. This is actually my bedroom. I mean, you're living here, but it's my. Get out. This is my room. Give me my dinner. Mom. Mom, tell daddy this is my room.
That is exactly the way it is. You can't just come in my room. I'm serious. It's freaking messed up. It's my room. You're an idiot. You don't even know. When I was in high school, the girl that I liked, she had her room with framed pictures of Deidre Hall. From Days of Our Lives. She was a big DJ. Her whole room was framed. Not just like cut out. Not like magazine posted up. She got into a fight with her dad. And her dad, you know, like hit the wall, you know, like with his fist. And it knocked one of the pictures down. And it busted, right? It busted. And the glass punctured her waterbed.
Oh, my gosh. And the whole water bed, the entire, I don't know how many gallons are in there. A lot. The whole thing, like not one drop was left in that bag. And they had to have guys come in with those big, you know. air dryers that they plug in that blow air and they had to tear up the carpet and they had to replace the wood underneath it. And the one thing that I will never forget, I'll be 98 years old on my deathbed. I won't forget this moment from when we were 15 years old. I will never forget her going, ha ha. Oh my gosh. Look what you did. What did her dad say? You were there when this whole thing went down? You were there? I didn't know you were there. I thought she just told you about it. Oh, no. Were you under the bed? Weren't you guys? Weren't you guys? Explain more. Wait.
You guys were never the terrified friend. Oh, I always was the terrified friend. Oh, yeah. My friends were the terrified friend, too. Yeah. The terrified friend is the friend that's there when your friend gets into a fight with their parents. So uncomfortable. It's the worst. It's like now, fighting with your wife in front of other people. Yes. People are like, oh, God. No, it's worse. The parent always says, like, why can't you be more like Sienna or something? I know. I'm just as bad. You're just like, oh, God. Let's go. And you have to storm up. I know. Sorry. Yeah. Let's get out of here. Come on. She's an idiot. Let's go. Okay. I'm sorry, Mrs. Johnson. Thank you for dinner. That was really nice. It was nice. Thank you. I'll break my dish over first. That's so true. I always have such a good time when I'm over here. Yeah. Can I still take some home? Ugh. Ugh. I can't believe you were in the room. Oh, it was awful. Was he looking at you? Was he glaring at you for anything? You know, I don't remember that. I just remember, ha, ha. What were they fighting about? Do you remember? No, but I remember. She said some bad things. She did? Mean. Mm-hmm. Oh, I had one friend. She said, she was 15. This is 15-year-old hormones.
She goes, I hope you get hit by a truck and die. I was like, oh my gosh. For the record, I don't. For the record, Mr. Johnson, I really like you. I don't hope that. Note that, please. In fact, I would prefer that the truck just stay way on the road and you're here. You're on the sidewalk and the light goes green and you wait and then it goes red and then you go. Walk sign comes on. And then you go. You go. I used to carpool with one friend. I'm not going to say her name. But every time we were driving to our sports practice, her mom would drive us. And she would crank the music. My friend would. So loud. It was like you're in Woods' car. And it was like you couldn't hear a thing. It was insane. And so the mom would be like, hey, can we turn this down a little bit? And she would, no, mom. F you. Like, swear. Like, swear. at her mom calling her a bee. Look at the volume. And the mom would just turn it down a little bit. And I would be sitting in the back like, oh God, oh God. If my kids did that, I would just pull over and you would get out. Yeah, absolutely. See you later. Oh, it was awful. The last ride they ever get. The belt bit on the side of the road. That's what I love about Chris Rock when he goes, you ever notice the white women at Starbucks? You can always tell the white women at Starbucks because their kids be slapping on them.
That didn't happen when I was growing up. Not me. You don't slap a black mama, dude. No! Oh, for goodness sake. Can you imagine driving in that car? Greetings, loved ones. Honey, can you just... A thousand times louder. I hated driving with them. And I would say to my mom, please. And she's like, I can't drive you. I'm working. Mike, just wait till Luke pops off like that one day to you. He's like, you know what? Screw you, pal. I don't listen to what you do. Listen, and every parent out there, you can flip out if you want to. Luke does that. He's getting a slap across the face with extreme prejudice. CBS is going to be cool. Hey, listen. I'm telling you right now. We live in this day and age where parents are like, you talk about feelings and you talk about... No.
Listen, my son Jake will never get a slap across the face. Ryan will never get a slap because you just, you know your kids, okay? My son Luke is like a blender with the top off. That's Luke. That's Luke. You take the top off that lid and you put it on puree. And that's what Luke is like. There you go. You know, Mike, Dennis Leary said it best. He goes, you know, when I was growing up, my dad beat the ass out of me. And I'm looking forward to beating the ass out of my kids, dude. Well, listen, I mean, I'm not by any means. And that's the thing. You can't discipline your kid. And I'm not saying that this doesn't happen. Because we're all going to have mistakes as parents. Every parent screws it up. We all are going to screw it up. But this is one thing to keep in mind. We don't want to discipline out of anger. You discipline out of anger, you're gonzo. Forget it. It's over. But kids need discipline. This is stuff when you see these kids. It's true. You see these kids talking to their parents and I go, how did it get there? When did that start? First time that happened. What did you do? Start slowly.
Not being able to say no for certain things. And then you don't, the kid doesn't know who's boss. The kid thinks they're boss. Yeah. You fix that real easy. It's true. I mean, I bet, man. I bet Jay's kids never pulled that stuff. Dude, Jay would rip the door off the hinges. Literally. He would rip the door off the hinges. I did make some mistakes, but they always knew that if they pushed it too far, man, it was spanking time. And I would talk to them. And sometimes you wouldn't even have to get the spanking. You just talk to them, and they would just start bawling. Yeah. It was like, you know you had them right there. And some kids, you know, you look at them, and they get scared. Yeah. Other kids, I look at Luke, and he's like, what are you looking at? Jasper was like that, too. He was like, what, really? Yeah. Really coming at me. You guys, I'm sure, softened up by your final hit. Yeah, he's definitely softened us up. But, you know, he still knows when I'm serious. He's just like, I wouldn't mess with him. I'm like a diesel engine. I'm slow to get started. But once I get started, it's hard to turn me off. Watch out. Yeah. And I'll tell you, man. Is that what Rebecca says? My gosh. Ignition. Let me check his glow plug. I'm trying to say it's tough.
Two. Somebody needs to take your oil. Dipstick. Oh, my God. I know a good place to get lube oil. Do you feel lube? We're back at like 10W30. Did you hear me say? We heard you, Jack. Oil. He has two charges. Can I get a jump? A jump start? What? Like, I just... Read my turn signals. Have you seen all the junk in my trunk? Ready? You know what I love? I love when Elleby has a really good one. She'll gross herself out. Like, she'll say it, you know? And then she'll get this face like... That's when you know it's a good one. Brilliant. Oh, Jay. 570. Set it up, Jay. 194.9 is our number. Chargers draft is over. Thursday, Friday, and did they do Saturday too? Yes.
And who is our big guy, Legit? Big guy is Corey Legit from Illinois. Defensive end. They got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven other picks besides that. Saw some interesting commentary on it. We should talk about the draft. I'll tell you what. The draft was interesting. Yes. And they went in a very specific direction. What direction was it? What were they very, very specific about doing? Because they were very specific. 570-1949. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Thursday night, New Politics and Dirty Heads play House of Blues downtown. Friday night, Ghostland Observatories at 4th and B. Now, the FM 94.9 TV on the radio show at 4th and B that was supposed to happen tonight, it has been postponed. It will happen at 4th and B now on May 13th.
System of a downplay cricket wireless May 21st. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion is June 5th at the Oceanside Pier. FM949SD.com for all the info and your tickets. You can see Meat Puppets at the cast spot June 14th. Matt and Kim in the Thermals are at House of Blues June 16th. A Perfect Circle will play the open air theater July 26th. And Steel Pulse is at House of Blues August 14th. Couple more good ones. Death Cab for Cutie at the Remack August 16th. 311 with Sublime with Rome. Cricket Wireless August 19th. And Kings of Leon play Cricket Wireless September 4th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. Don't you remember when you were a little kid and your mom would make you? A little bologna sandwich with mayo. So sweet. Delicious. Well, come on, man. Remember all the things that mom did. And go to proflowers.com. Get ready for Mother's Day. It's the 8th. And here's the key. Take care of it now. Get it over with. Get it done. And you don't have to worry about it. This week we got the dozen assorted roses plus a free glass vase.
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for the pink frosting, and the way the round sprinkles crunch on your teeth. On the way back, Grandpa would take the long way home, and we'd eat cookies and listen to nothing but jazz and the sound of the ocean. I know it's simple, but Grandpa and I both liked simple. And now, at every family reunion, that's the story I like to tell, over and over again. Mother's Cookies is a memory. Visit your local Vons to find all the flavors you love, like Circus Animal, Taffy, English Tea, and, back again, Mother's Peanut Butter Gauchos. There's a party at the park every Friday. Don't miss the 2011 Padres Beer Fest, Friday, May 6th, as your Padres take on the Diamondbacks. Get to the park early to enjoy beer tasting from your favorite breweries before the game. First pour is at 4.30 and first pitch is at 7.05. Over to make the play as Venable! Be there for Beer Fest and Padres vs. D-backs, Friday, May 6th. Get your tickets today at podgrace.com slash beerfest. Chevron Extra Mile has always been my go-to store, but now they're giving me even more reasons to go, like a chance to win Extra Mile bucks instantly or a Disneyland Resort vacation to experience the new Star Tours with airfare from Southwest Airlines Vacations just by entering my code online. Maybe it's a Jedi mind trick. You know, I don't care. I'm going anyway.
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I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Last time I stole, I was five. I used to stick bubble gum down my pants. Lauren. Man, today would be so much better if I had my kombucha. Wood. What I like to do also is I clip my toenails sometimes as a little treat. I like to put them on Jamie's pillow. Zienna. When they're real, you know. And Jay. Oh, I've pumped water from ditches that you would not believe. On FM 94.9. Let's talk about the NFL draft here in just a second. First M1 Lisa from Lakeside. Hi. What was the word of the day? Mayo. That's right. Well done. Well done. Good job. You just won yourself a pair of tickets to see Chris Cornell, the sixth at Humphreys. That's fascinating. Also a four-pack of tickets to see World, so hang on the line, okay? Okay. Sienna. Yeah. What's the word? Well.
If you haven't heard, if you're just now waking up, Osama bin Laden has been killed. That's right. Osama bin Laden has been killed as of yesterday. He was found living in a compound, which was basically a mansion. Gigantic. Do I sound funny to you guys? Does it? I don't know. You sound like you have a sock over your microphone. Yeah, it sounds funny to me. I don't know why. Take that sock off your microphone and you're fine. That's it. There's actually a wet sock over the microphone. Sorry, that's mine. I was drying it. Oh my gosh, disgusting. I ain't going to use a dryer. But yes, he was found and killed by a Navy SEAL who shot him directly in the head. CIA was there as well. They came in on a helicopter. Now, he wasn't living in a cave. He was living in a mansion, like I said. And they made it over these high walls with... wiring, and it was just nuts. Two different security gates they made it through. Also, Jerry Brown, our governor, just had to remove a cancerous growth from his nose on Friday. He was put under local anesthetic, and looks like they got everything out, but he had to have some reconstructive surgery on his nose. Maybe he's going to be looking a little different now. He absolutely will.
Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Sports is brought to us today by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some. That's right. Well, the NFL playoffs are, again, in full swing. And Zach Randolph and the Memphis Grizzlies beat the Oklahoma City Thunder 114-101. Here's a cut from Zach Randolph. He had a big, big game. But do athletes ever want respect? Cut, too. You know, I don't get a lot of respect I deserve, you know. So, you know, it's nothing personal. I just try to come out and be the same player, you know, consistent. you know, during a regular season and during playoffs. So, you know, I just try to be this way, you know, all the time. Athletes, they like respect. Do you like, I've never liked the respect me bit from the athlete. Yeah. Hey, you do your job, you're going to get respected. Athletes, they love the respect. They do. Well, and then now I think it's only, right, we go into some of the draft talk. Yeah, yeah. So the Chargers had a bunch of picks this weekend and really went in a very particular direction. It was special teams. Yeah. I mean, you guys remember. Yeah. You guys remember last year. Dude. I can think of. I want to say three or four games that were. More. More. With the screw ups in special teams. I was going to say lost because of. Oh, OK. Yeah. Three or four. At least. At least. A lot of touchdowns returned. A lot of punts returned. Field goals blocked. You name it. It happened. It went wrong on special teams last year. So they got a new special teams coach. And then they went.
But besides Corey Leggett, they went pretty much special teams. I mean, the good thing is, though, these guys are going to be able to come in and play special teams immediately. So they drafted Marcus Gilchrist out of Clemson, who's a kick returner and a cornerback. Jonas Mouton, who's a linebacker out of Michigan. Pretty solid player he looks to be. Vincent Brown, this was cool. He's a wide receiver at San Diego State, and they picked him. So he's staying here. He is so stoked to be here. Real stoked. Yeah. And Sharice Wright, cornerback from Southern Cal, USC. Jordan Todman, this was a pick Mikey and I talked about. He's a running back from Connecticut, and the numbers on this guy are insane. So it makes you wonder, so why so late? Why so late in the draft on a guy?
That appears to be so incredible. Yeah, man. Third leading rusher in school history. I mean, granted, it's UConn. But still, you know, he is. They said the actual quote in here is that they may have found a gem in Todman. He's the Big East Conference Offensive Player of the Year. The whole conference, best player. And they got him 183rd overall. It's incredible. Now, here's the thing. Part of the reason that he may have gone so late is because if you look at a guy. If you look at a guy like Darren Sproles, the year Darren Sproles came out of college, he ran for more yards than anybody in college football. Yep. But every team said no way because he's 5'6". Yeah, tiny. There's just no way. I mean, at the NFL level, there's no, and he proved them wrong. You know, and the other thing that we talked about, this is a conversation Mike and I had about 7.15 Saturday morning talking about the draft and everything. Running backs in the NFL, it's gotten so specialized. Very few teams. You can think of a handful of teams that have the guy. Adrian Peterson. He's the guy. A lot of other teams will have two and three running backs. Third down backs. Specialty backs. If this kid lives up to what he did in college, it's his total steal. He looks like a total stud. Also, they drafted Steven Schilling in the sixth round. He was a tackle for Michigan. Big dude. Andrew, got your car.
From Missouri, another linebacker. But they're saying that all these guys are special teams strong. So they can go right in and help improve that very weak area of the Chargers. Yep. And then the other, we had a nice conversation about our boy that we've been talking about for a couple weeks, Ryan Mallett, who was the quarterback at Arkansas. He did get selected. I think he's 74th overall to the New England Patriots. Now, Ryan Mallett's the kid that showed up, went out and partied the night before. Allegedly. So he said. Showed up late to some meetings, then said, I'm calling it a day. Yeah, I'm going to take it to the house. I'm done. I'm tired. I can load off, really. Yeah, I just want to go home and take a bath. I got a PlayStation game. New game I want to play. Let me make a homemade milkshake and just kick it on the couch. So we were talking about it. He is, they say, the most, he has the most NFL-ready arm. They say he can make any throw on the field. Short, long, intermediate, whatever. They said he has an NFL-ready arm. Five-cent head. Five-cent head. Now, I said it on the air. Hey, if he goes to Miami, if he goes to Dallas, if he goes to Chicago, he's probably toast. Okay, Cincinnati. Woods even said last week, he said, if this guy goes somewhere, he's got to go to a team like the Patriots. Yeah, he's got to. You were right. Yeah. You were right because I think that somebody like Belichick,
Gets him and says, I'll beat your A. Yeah, and Tom Brady. You know, okay, you're standing there holding the clipboard. Who better to hold a clipboard for than Tom Brady and learn how to win? Because he's so handsome, you mean? Well, that and. He's so tall and he's married to Giselle. That also and. He's dreamy. He's got dreamiest eyes. His eyes sparkle? That will definitely. Smells good. He smells so good. He smells so good. Yeah, he does smell good. I bet he smells like Stetson after a game. Yeah. No, but the guy, he's won Super Bowls, man. He knows what he's doing. He's Tom Brady. So I thought it was a really ballsy pick and a great pick and a great steal. Well, we'll see. See what happens to this kid. M1 Ryan from Poway is calling about his daughter going to the prom. Mikey, you aren't even going to have to dig deep to side with me on this. Okay, so she and her friends want to get hotel rooms. afterwards. And my wife is okay with it. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. If she still lives with you.
If she could be 27, if she still lives with her, you go, hey, listen. Really? You don't like my rules. No. Yes. It's problem. Yes. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. One more question. One more. This is the defining question. Does she pay rent? No. Pay rent? If she doesn't pay rent, pal, you make the rules. So she allowed to sleep over people's houses? No. No? She can't have sleep over? Listen, she can do whatever she wants. If you want to be a grown up. Then you got to act like a grownup. And part of being a grownup is you pay your own rent. Sure. If you don't pay your own rent and you live under mom and dad's roof, I did it. And I had a curfew. And my dad used to say, and I'd be like, hey, I'm 22 years old, dad. You can't tell me what to do. And my dad was like, you pay rent? No. Okay. Then go get your own place and you can make whatever rules you want. You want to be a grownup? Go be a grownup. But if you're not going to be a grown, you can't have it both ways. But it's not about her disobeying the rules. It's about why does he have this rule? Yeah, and, you know, she's showing signs of maturity by asking permission and being honest about it. I'm going to sleep over. She could just say, I'm going to sleep over at Claire's. Yeah, I'm going to sleep at Katie's tonight. No. Why not? And they would fall for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They would fall for it. You're going to stay over at Katie's? Yeah. Yeah, okay. That's fine. Is there going to be any dudes there? No.
As far as you know. Lying is lying. I mean, if we're talking about lying, then she could be like, hey, dad, she can lie about anything. The expectation is... There's certain expectations. One of them is, don't lie to me. He should appreciate that she's not lying and she's being honest. That way he's going to know exactly where she is, what time she'll be home in the morning, who's with her, and know that she's almost in college. You're going to be saying goodbye here pretty soon. It's a good trial run. Just because she's being honest doesn't mean that the answer is going to be yes. She can say, hey, listen, Dad, I'm going to be real upfront with you. We're going to smoke some weed. We're going to be a safe place. All right? She's not doing anything illegal, though. Nobody's driving. Okay. Dad, I'm going to be real honest with you. We're going to have a couple of pops. That's against the law. That's against the law. All right, Dad, I'm going to be honest with you. We're going to slay like there's no slay tomorrow. All right? Good for you. No one tells our dad that. Get some. You're not making this any easier. I'm so sorry. We're so sorry. I'm telling you, dude. Listen. When kids are out of the house.
and they're not under your supervision anymore, and they're 18, and they're gone, and they're adults, that's when they fly the coop, okay? When they're still in the coop and they're still in the nest, and especially when you're helping feed them, mama bird still regurgitating that food up for the little baby bird. But once the baby bird leaves the nest, that bird's on its own. And that's when all of the parenting that you've done up to that point... The expectation with my boys will be one thing. What they do with it after they leave is their deal. Aren't there times where you would make an exception, though? Like, prom is a big deal. And, you know, it's something you're always going to remember. And I don't know anyone who didn't get a hotel room after all. Well, we didn't get a hotel room. We slept at, like, a friend's house. My parents always had to talk to the parents. Oh, yeah, we had a hotel room. I have daughters that have gone through this. And I'm telling you, you're done. teaching them by the time they're like 16 easily, maybe before that, you're not going to make a point one way or the other by not letting her get a hotel room. All you're going to do is you're going to make her want to get out of the house, which is not a good thing. I tell you, it's going to make them want to get out of the house. Jay, doesn't it depend on the kid?
I don't know, man. You have to trust your child, though. She's not even a child. She's 18. We had some blow-ups where I didn't trust her. And when she left, she's like, fine, I'm out. And they can find some place to live. And you do not want that. Yeah, you do. No, you don't. You don't want to leave it on those terms. You want your daughter to run. You want your baby right there. Yeah. Your daughter goes out to stay at a friend's house. Now she's totally out on her own. Bro, she's 18. Uh-huh. She's 18. It's time to grow up. I would rather my daughter be out for one night at a hotel where... Whatever's going to happen is going to happen. Yes. You're not going to stop it. With or without your permission. You know, you didn't get a hotel room. Well, what about the backseat of that car? You know, trust me, man. Oh, wow. It's going to happen somewhere. You're going to find a way to do it if you want to do it. And I say I have to have enough times in my parenting. I have to have enough yeses. Yes. So that my no's mean something. Right. Oh. I got to have enough yeses so that my no's mean something. And, you know, listen. I'm thinking it through. As I think it through, I go, it would depend on the kid. You know, if I got a kid that's got a record of being a clown, then the answer's no. But if I have a kid that's, you know, kind of got a track record of being a good kid, yeah. So he rolls in, he goes, listen, dad, we're all, but see, the difference is, is like everybody is at the same hotel. You know, it's all together. Now, we did it. We all had.
single rooms with our lady friends, our dates, our prom dates. It would like turn into a college dorm. It was one of the greatest parties ever in history. Bathtub full of beer. It was wild. M1 Ryan, what kind of daughter are we talking about? Does she have a history of being a little bit rebellious or has she got a history of being squeaky clean? No, I mean, I wouldn't call her squeaky clean, but she's a very good girl. And, I mean, I have to say that I would consider my wife and I being very lucky in lieu of some of the kids that we see that she goes to school with and the problems that their parents are experiencing with their daughters the same age. We don't have a whole lot of problems with her. But I just feel that, I mean, she's... Just because the number changed, I mean, she just turned 18. She's still in high school. And in my eyes, that doesn't change the equation to where, I mean, they never would have thought about even asking me this before she turned 18. Well, just because she's 18, that doesn't change the equation enough to allow this.
Sienna. I mean, I just feel like I'm throwing her into, you know, into a bad situation. I have a question, Ryan. Now, you said that she said that she wants to get a hotel room with her friends. Does she have a boyfriend? Yeah. Have you met him? Oh, yeah. They've been together for two years. So do you like him and trust him? Trust him? What does that mean? Trust him. Trust the boyfriend. You can trust the boyfriend and he's still, he's still, yeah. He can still do what he wants to do, but he'll take care of her, you know? Yeah, I bet. Take care of her. If something were to go wrong, stop. Yeah. Real sweetly. He'll look out for her. Best interest. Yeah, yeah. I looked out for my problem date real good. Yeah, exactly. A couple of times. You creep. You know what I mean. Like, every parent. Yeah. He knows what's going to happen. He knows what's going to happen. It's probably already happening. Oh, boy. But some other stuff could go wrong outside of just them being intimate, you know. In a parent's mind, you worry about everything. Yeah. And so, it's nice to know if she's with a guy that he's met and trusts.
Can I ask him if he has sons? Say again? Do you have any sons? No. Okay. Would you feel differently if you did have a son? 100%. Yep. Well, you know what? It's a moot point because I don't. Man, I wouldn't. I don't. I wouldn't feel different if I would. Is it about what could happen that night? Or is it more about you don't want a kid at that age having a hotel with a bunch of other kids? It's the whole thing. And the bottom line is that... It's so hard. I mean, she's still in high school. She's in high school. And what I did when I was in high school and what you did and what everybody else did, I mean, it is a different time now. It's a completely different time. I feel like a lot of the discipline has gone completely out the window. Listen, do we think that there might be a reason that kids want to get a hotel as opposed to, I tell you what, why don't you bring all the kids over the house? They want to be parent-free. Yeah, I wonder why. I wonder why. So they can drink booze and slay. Have intercourse. Well, not all about the intercourse. A lot of it is about partying. A lot of it is about booze. But it's about knowing you have a night without supervision. As I'm saying, though. It's bad. You don't want your kids getting drunk. Exactly. I'm fine. Marijuana. Wouldn't you rather have them somewhere than driving? No. No. No. I would rather they not see. It's so hard. That's the thing, man.
We have a culture now that is at the point where as long as they're in a safe place while they do wacky stuff, it's okay. But if it happens, you can't be blind about it. So what age is it okay to be wacky? in your world never to be wacky you're saying you're saying that's what you're saying is like oh i don't want to be 18 and be able to go out and and party or whatever they're gonna do listen at some point you're gonna okay 21 it happens if the drinking age if the drinking age is 18 and they can legally buy alcohol they can legally buy alcohol what can you do but i'm not i'm never gonna condone no and be okay with i can't stand that they're gonna do it anyway okay Why don't I supply them with the bullets then? That's a big difference though. Bullets? Yeah. Being naive about it and supporting it and condoning it is different. There's no part of my game that says, oh, I don't get it. I get it. Yeah, you get it. I know, but I'm saying it's going to happen. Exactly what Jay said. If you say they have to be home by a certain time, then they'll just fill it up in the parking lot and make sure it happens one way or another.
I would just, I don't know. I'd rather have it. There's trust. I think you have to trust your kid. And yes, they're going to do bad things. And yes, you can't stop them from, because it's a part of growing up is you make mistakes growing up. You can't protect them and say, hey, you can't do that. I mean, you could say it, but trust me. I agree. Especially because she's almost out. And I agree with you mostly, Jay. And I think it has a lot to do with the kids, you know, the particular kid. But man, I'm telling you, like, I am just so for. discipline, rules, and just not... I am so against this whole bit of, well, if they're going to drink, I'd rather be in a... How about no? But you're going to be faced with this all the time when your boys get older. Do you think Luke's going to want a room at the Hotel Del for prom night? My dad would have never been like, you know what, son? Since I know you're going to drink, why don't you do it here? No, but you don't need to let them know. My dad's thing to me was, I will kick your ass if you do that. That's the bottom line. But are you going to say no every time they ask? Not to drink there, but to go to a hotel or whatever? But that's why I was saying, I have to make sure as a parent I'm saying yes enough so that my no means something. You know, you got these parents that instantly, it's like a knee-jerk reaction. They say no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, CB was saying one time,
He remembers that they were taking care of this kid and they're taking care of this kid for a while. And she had this wacky hair and she was dyeing her hair all these different colors. And she had, you know, all this weird makeup and clothes and blah, blah, blah. And his wife was saying, I don't know. I don't know. And he said, no, let her do it. Yeah. It's none of it's permanent. Right. Right. None of it's permanent. It's a phase and it's not harmful. And you have to be able to say, yeah, so that when you say no, it actually means something. You can't just no, no, no, no, no. And when you do say no, there's got to be an explanation. You know, you can't just say no. And the reason that it's no is because I'm in charge and you're not. I'm the boss. You know, I think it's appropriate to say, no, I'm not going to do that and not going to do it because I love you. And here's why. And here's the deal. Sure. And they kick and scream because that's what they do. But, you know, I think if you say yes with the caveat, but if X, Y, Z happens, here are the consequences. Yeah. And also knowing that if you get into any trouble, I'm always going to be there no matter what. Be smart. Don't try to like sneak one past me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And as soon as you do, as soon as you do sneak one past me, sorry, but you just emptied the bank account of trust. Yeah. And saying, yeah, you can do the hotel, but if.
I find out you were drinking or if I find out you were drinking and driving or anything, here's the consequences. Oh, my. How things have changed with L.O.B. and the iPhone. Wait till I tell you what our girl has done. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The meet is over. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Now hang me. It's on. Forming on the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii.
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This report brought to you by Saquon Casino. Come on down to Saquon Casino where the prize is right. Every Monday through May 9th, you could win a share of $300,000 in cash and a chance at $1 million at Saquon Casino. National City tied up here on the 5 northbound right before Main Street due to an accident. That left lane's blocked right now. The 805 northbound before University Avenue, an accident over on the right shoulder. And looks like the 15 northbound at the 56. We've got a car that's stuck in the center divider. This report brought to you by News 8. Famous photographer Rick Springfield, guest stars on Hawaii Five-0, tonight at 10 on CBS 8, followed by News 8 at 11. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not into it. See, here's the thing, too. Guy stuff, love guy stuff. I just, it's like cars. I love cars. Lauren. I can be sweet when I want to be, but oh, I'm so catchy. Oh, boy. Like a knife. Woods. Every day now I'm questioning why I have five dogs. I spent my afternoon cleaning up trash and poop. Sienna. I'm not a farter, but I live with farters. It definitely makes me laugh. And Jay. What is the coolest thing I've ever made? We don't have that kind of time. On FM 94.9. Yes, me. There was a time before Adele and a time after Adele. She's freakishly good. Owning it. So talented.
You ever seen any live stuff of her on YouTube? She's freakish. Did you see the one she was at her home singing? Uh-uh. Called Someone Like You? Uh-uh. Goosebumps. Really? Chills. Yeah, she's good. Take a picture of yourself being the ultimate M1 and post it on our Facebook page. We would love to see it. You can make yourself look like L.O.B. or me or Woods or Jay or Sienna. You can do whatever you want. And if you have the funniest one... We're going to give you tickets to the Padres game with nine of your friends. It's incredible. In a really cool area. It's a beach seat. So anyway. Okay. So L.O.B. writes in her recap. Well, first of all, we mentioned that L.O.B. did in fact get the iPhone and she's enjoying it. Yes. And she's discovered that she enjoys apps.
This is what's important to note. L.O.B. was not an app person. No. I wasn't even sure what an app was. You sneered at me a bit with my apps. A little bit. Oh, yeah. And I gave Matt, my boyfriend, a very hard time. Every time he would go, you know there's an app that does this. Right. And then, if anything, if there was... His official new voice. And she would do this, too. She would do this to him. They'd be in a conversation. and there'd be a question about anything. Like, he would go, hey, do you know what time it is? And she'd be like, I don't know, don't you have an app for that? Exactly. She would do that to him, to me. I would say, hey, do we have next Monday off? And LLB would go, don't you have an app for that? Well, guess what? LLB got a bill for her apps that she's downloaded.
I didn't know it's part of, it goes, I guess, with the iTunes thing because you use your Mac ID. $112. Oh, wow. What are you, crazy? So now you have an app for everything. On apps, yeah. Well, I don't even have that many apps. It's just like the add-ons with the apps. So I have like, I don't know. Oh, wow. The hipstamatic is like, is breaking the bank because. I will buy different lenses and different like films and stuff like that. Hipstamatic is great. Hipstamatic is a, it turns your phone, the camera on your phone, it turns it into an old fashioned. Really awesome looking camera. Really cool. We went to the beach yesterday. I went with Matt and my sister and a couple friends. And then everybody left. And we were like, gosh, look how gorgeous it is today. And I was like, I know. And I started taking some pictures around the beach. And Matt picked me up like he was going to take me over the threshold or something like that. And he swung me around. And I go, hipstamatic. Because he was trying to pull me away from what I was doing. And I caught a really quick picture of him swinging.
Does it look cool? Everything looks cool. You can take a picture of a turd with an ipsomatic and it kind of looks dumb. Didn't people, you know, cry and bitch and moan because pictures back in the old days were all yellow and grainy? They wanted high def. Now they're like, I really long for the yellow and grainy photo. So much, in fact, that I'll spend $70 on that. Yeah, we spent $70 to recreate a $20 camera. Well, I posted my first ipsomatic print. And Matt's mom actually was like, Lauren, can you please tell me what the fascination is with people trying to take pictures that look like they're from the 60s? Yeah. Yeah, they're beautiful. Yeah, they're not. You look at your old photo books, you're like, oh, God. They're orange and yellow. Now you're like, I miss that. These ones are more like black and white, like Marilyn Monroe-y to me. Yeah, it just depends. I mean, I have like a whole different set of like films, lenses, you know. I'm really considering what Woods just said, though. What's that? I think he's right. What? I think that they do look like turds and we still like them. And I think there's a reason. I think Woods is right. I think they're crappy photos, but they strike a chord. They remind us. It's a memory. I never considered it until you said it.
Because I always thought to myself, oh, that's rad. No, it really actually isn't. You just like it because it reminds you of being a kid. But it's actually crappy. Yes, it's a crappy picture. And you find any picture of me from... I think it's crappy. You find any picture of me from... It's like artistic. It's not. No, it's more film. It's like using actual film instead of digital quality, which obviously digital quality is a lot better than the film quality that they were using back then. It's a cool option. It's cool. Now you're swinging me back the other way. No, dude. Look at pictures of Little Mikey in 1979, all right? There is a difference between film... And digital. And digital. Digital captures a very true-to-life image, whereas film gives more of a dreamlike.
Yes. And a film can get things that digital, they'll pick up certain colors and stuff that digital will never get. Well, what's next? Are we going to watch real-to-real movies again? No, that's what... I mean, come on. What if? I was watching this movie called All Good Things last night, and in the beginning, it was supposed to be like a video from the 60s, or 50s even. And I was like, that doesn't look at all authentic. It looks like someone took a Hipstamatic and made a film out of it. And I was like, ooh, that's going to be the new app. You're going to be able to film stuff in Hipstamatic. That's cool. Just the kids running around. No sound. I would like it. Just the kids running around. Like the Wonder Years. Yeah, the Wonder Years at the beginning. Yeah. I love what the cameras can do. In fact, Woods is talking about, what are we going to do? Go to the reel? Reel the reel? Well, I have an app on my phone right now called 8mm. What? And it looks like old film footage that you see of little kids in the 60s, and you can do that with your kids. You can do that? Yeah. What's it called? Oh, I'm getting it. What's it called? Oh, look at her. She's addicted. It's called 8mm. 8mm. It's great. Oh, my gosh. It looks so cool.
Dude, it is. And you can choose the era. You choose 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, or 70s. Yeah, say hello. Oh, it's over. I'm going to start making movies. I know. That's going to be my new bit. Yeah. Lauren's going to start making... Why is my wife on the phone? Hello, my love. Hi, hon. How are you? Good. Oh, don't do that, Woods. It's creepy. So, have you shared your fascination with FaceTime? I like FaceTime. What's FaceTime? What's that? There. Yeah, let's talk about what FaceTime is. Oh, really? Yes, really. So FaceTime's this thing where instead of just making a phone call. You wanted it more than I did. You like it too. What is it? It's a thing. The video chatting? Yeah, it's video chatting on your phone. Oh, that's with the new iPhone, huh? You have to have a four. Yeah, well, okay, so this is commonly the scenario. So, you know, I'm in the middle of changing a kid's viper, and another kid is, you know, screaming about something, and my phone rings from in the kitchen. I'm rambling to run over there to try to pick up the phone and answer it, and I look down, and it's like, you know, husband would like to FaceTime. I'd like to see Mike's face.
So I'm like, except, you know, and as the video is coming up, I'm like running back to the living room, you know, trying to keep the one child that I'm changing the diaper from, you know, smearing poo everywhere. Stop looking at me, Jay. Jay's giving me that look like. Well, yeah. And so ultimately, I like have the phone on the floor in the living room. So Mike is staring at the ceiling. Hey, babe. What's for dinner? I'm trying to change a diaper, and then he's like, babe, where are you? What are you doing? Can I see you? Do you call her when you're in the house, just in another room? I'll call her from upstairs on the FaceTime, because I'd say she's pretty. Then you could see her. Walk down there. Because I think she's pretty. You can see her in living color. Yeah, she's in the house. Go down and look at her. Oh, my gosh. From in the house? If you have the technology, why would you not use it? You have the legs, why would you not use them? It makes sense if you're out of town. You have some awesome technology called your eyes. Yeah, your eyes. Because you're downstairs. Right. Come down. Two feet in a heartbeat, my friend. Maybe come in, maybe lay into that diaper with her. Yeah. You know what I mean? Do a little clean up. Maybe lay into one of those kids. Maybe start dinner. Oh, my God.
Maybe I put a roof over your head. She did not like that one. Babe, I do it because I think you're pretty. I like to look at your face. I love you and I appreciate that and I think that you're handsome, but sometimes it would just be easier if you called or better yet, come downstairs. On the average, seven day a week. How many times a day? Get ready for an exaggeration. How many times a day? How many times a day with the FaceTime? Yeah. Twice. That's not bad. A day? A day. Twice a day. That's a lot. That's not a lot. 14 times a week. You work in the morning, you're home like all afternoon, so two phone calls a day. Babe! She doesn't like it because with a phone, you can just put the phone up to your ear. But with the FaceTime, you have to hold it in front of you and talk to it. When I'm listening in my ear, like right now, I just have my shoulder holding the phone up. But I can't do that with FaceTime. And if I leave it on the floor or on the counter or whatever...
and have him, like, you know, speakerphone. I don't like it. Does he get mad? He's, like, looking up her nose. Pick the phone up. Pick it up! This is why I FaceTimed you. I FaceTimed you, babe. I FaceTimed you to look at the ceiling. I FaceTimed you. I FaceTimed you. You should keep doing it so he learns his lessons and just walks over. Learns my lessons. Don't answer. Think how much sexy FaceTime is going on. Oh, I know. Imagine that. At the Esparza house? Well, I don't know about that, but... I know I'd do it. I'd just FaceTime. She'd pick up. She'd be staring right at it. I'm doing it right now. Whoa! She's coming up right now. She's hanging up right away. Wiener time. I've noticed... I don't know if it's just me being unattractive, but I feel like it's a very unattractive angle when I turn the... camera on myself. I'm like, whoa. I agree. I agree. I don't like it. Speaking of unattractive, why don't you tell everybody, honey, what you suggested or what you asked me yesterday. Oh, no. When we were in the bathroom. Uh-oh. What? I don't remember. It had to do with Wendy. Oh, boy. And me. Are you going to go back to your trainer? Oh, this stinks because I realized how you must have taken that. Really?
Yes, really. So right before we went on vacation, Mike said that he was going to start working out with Wendy again. And I said, once you guys decide on the date, you know, the date and time, I think that I will probably join you. Because, you know, if you do two people instead of one, it's less expensive. And so he goes, oh, okay, great. And, you know, on vacation, I did a little bit of laying around and eating. And I don't feel very good about myself. And so, yesterday, I was getting dressed and being disgusted at myself. Right. And your husband was in the bathroom in a pair of underwear looking like a silverback gorilla in a pair of boxer briefs. And you were like, is that a silverback gorilla wearing underwear? How did he get in? How did he get in the house? And is he going to go to the bathroom in here? have anything to do with you other than just like a schedule coordination. I believe her. My mind immediately went to, gosh, I got to start working out. So what did you actually say? Oh, I wonder. And so then I asked, I said, hey, hon, have you scheduled your workouts with Wendy yet? And I said...
And I said, no, babe, I'm too busy shoving fries in my mouth. Oh, my God. I'd love to. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Okay, okay, okay. And then I said, okay, well, when you do, let me know because I need to get in there. I need to get with Wendy. And by I, I mean you. It's funny because he's fat. She didn't mean that. Hey, honey. No, this is her talking to me. Hey, babe, are you going to do anything about that circus act of a body that you have going on right now? Silverback gorilla. Fantastic. It sounded like that. I didn't even think about it till right now, and I feel awful. She's like, you look like Hong Kong climbing the Empire State Road. King Kong. I love you. King Kong. Donkey Kong. That's right. I'll just call Wendy on my own. Yeah, and make the appointment for me. And I'll go ahead and prepay for 50 sessions. Why not? For me. It's about me. She looks great. I look like I should have a big white stripe down my back. That my knuckles should be on the ground. And then I'm like... Mike's climbed up on the chair.
feet are on top of the chair. And if you feel like this, you have no one to blame but yourself. No one to blame by yourself. Somebody get the Jets in here. We're going to shoot him down. He's cramming a burrito. His brick sized burrito. Take his banana away. I said an extra large burrito. You got some burrito in your goatee there, buddy. Save it for later. Alright, honey. I love you. I love you, honey. I love you. I love you. Thanks, buddy. Mike, I can't take pity on you. No, we cannot. You've been saying this for a week. You have a personal trainer lined up. You have a wife ready to go. A hot wife ready to go with you. But he doesn't want to. I know. It sucks, though. And that's why I don't feel bad for him. I have such a busy schedule. Really? I do. Come on, don't I? No. I do. No. Oh, boy. All right. If you don't believe me. Tomorrow I have an appointment. You can't put your TV watching schedule on your calendar. Murder, She Wrote does not count. Murder, She Wrote. An estimated line at the McDonald's drive-thru doesn't count. You can't put nude lap tapping from 12 to 1.30. 12 to 4.30. It does not count. It doesn't count as appointments. It's on the calendar, it does. Man, I was looking at old pictures of last year when I was working out with Wendy.
And I was like, oh my gosh, I don't look anything like that. All kinds of muscles. Your 40th birthday, you walked in when we all surprised you. You looked svelte. Gosh darn it. You really did. You looked like Edward James Olmos that night when you walked in. Now you look like you ate. You still look great, Mike. Yes, I heard him. You still look great. Gosh darn. Mike can't help but see you look svelte. You look like you ate Edward James almost, tubby. Time to turn you afresh. Am I making you nervous, fatty? Hey, muff it up. They call it face fat time. Jay likes to get right on the microphone when he insults Mike. When he insults me, it's so much louder than every other time he talks. Eat Edward James almost. You ate the silver rock gorilla. I can see that pockmarked face after right inside your belly. Hey, Twinkie. Can I get some butter with those rolls? Yeah, why don't you call Wendy and don't call Wendy's again by mistake. You've been dialing the wrong number. It's not your color. When did it work? Wendy's, why don't you? Looking for those salt, those sea salt fries.
They know you by name, Fatty. You probably don't have a phone because you ate it thinking it was a candy bar, Fatty. You ate your phone. Oh, look, you got little nubs for fingers because you ate your fingers while you were down on the phone. Hey, Mikey, do you have an app for fat? I'm in the other room so you don't eat me, Fatty. That's why they put me in the other room so you don't swallow me whole. Guy will get you real good. Real good. When it comes to overweight jokes, that guy, Jay. Even the person that's the most fit feels self-conscious in front of Jay. It's so true. Lance Armstrong's like, I can use a few pounds. I can lose a few, I guess, if Jay's around. Jay'll be like, hey. I'm just here to help. That little yellow shirt's starting to look pretty tight on you, isn't it? Hey, Lance, when'd you get boobs, boy? Don't be eating all that. Good thing you're riding a bike. You might as well ride that thing up Everest. Just move into Jay's house. You'll lose 20 pounds in a week. Yeah, we don't eat. Starve yourself. We don't eat. I ain't gonna pay for food. Eat what you can find in the yard. Yeah, your rummage. Your rummage through the yard. 570-1949 is our number.
Got to read you a text that we got this morning about this guy that's upset at his buddy because he's brewing beer, and we'll tell you why the upset. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 940 at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes. are huge on saturday may 14th the mikey show and m1s take over qualcomm stadium from 10 a.m to 1 p.m nation street impact new mikey show sticker is in and be for your ride at prize we've got a his and her mountain bike from harrow a brand new ivan s guitar a 42 inch lg plasma with 5.1 surround sound and blu-ray player plus circuit
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Got an outside patio with more bars, more food, mass prizes, and live music. The one thing that Jose's won't have is the zebra-painted donkey up front. The most interesting Cinco de Mayo fiesta at Jose's courtroom in La Jolla. Cinco de Mayo. There's no need to make multiple grocery store lists. And you don't have to drive all over town to find the best deals. You can just make a Vons list. Because at Bonds, you get it all. Quality and low prices. You can count on thousands of everyday low prices, plus Bonds Club specials that, frankly, are hard to beat. This week, Ranchers Reserve whole tri-tip untrimmed is only $2.97 a pound. Whole red seedless watermelons are just $3.99 each. 24 packs of refresh water are only $2.99 each, plus CRV in California 16.9-ounce bottles.
Buy two 12-packs of Pepsi Fridgemates and get two of equal or lesser value free. Plus, CRV in California must buy four. Plus, get a bag of Tostitos tortilla chips free. Limit one offer per transaction selected varieties. Quality and low prices. So there's one stop for everything. That's our promise. That's ingredients for life. Fonz. This is the sound of Marcus trying to find a branch of his bank on the other side of town. Please take the next left. In 17 miles. Oh, come on. You'd think there'd be one a little closer. This is Tony looking for a Chase Bank. Now, where's that new branch? It should be just... Oh, there it is. Marcus. Recalculating. Recalculating. Yeah, great. Recalculating. Thanks for helping. Tony. Welcome to Chase. Wow. You guys are opening up everywhere. Marcus. Again. You are no longer on the road. Wonderful. You are no longer on the road. Where am I? You can always rely on a Chase Bank to be close by your home or office. With new branches opening all the time and a suite of new technologies, Chase continues to make banking more convenient. There are over 5,200 locations nationwide, with more coming to San Diego soon. Visit chase.com slash mynewbranch for your nearest Chase location. More branches in more places. Take a step forward and chase what matters. JPMorgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. If you or one of your family members has recently purchased a Toyota certified used vehicle or are thinking about getting one, good for you.
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On the 15th southbound before the 56th, a car stuck in the center divider. Also looks like we've got some issues coming through National City on the 5 northbound before Main Street due to an accident blocking the left lane. And Chula Vista is slow here on the 805 northbound between Telegraph Canyon Road and the 8. This report also brought to you by Check Into Cash. Check Into Cash offers title loans with the lowest rate guaranteed. Save money by switching to Check Into Cash. Visit CheckIntoCash.com for details. Loans made pursuant to a Department of Corporations, California Finance, lenders law license. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love that iPhone. It really is great. Lauren. I've taken a striptease class before. Woods. Yeah, that kid that likes me told what to do. Sienna. Why keep the antibacterial hand gel in my purse at all times? And Jay. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. On FM 94.9. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, brace yourself for some wind and some heat, especially if you live in the East County. They're saying as early as today and as late as tomorrow, Tuesday, winds could gust to about 60 miles per hour or more, which is also going to raise the heat. So hot and windy. Convection oven. Yeah, yeah. And Mike, wondering what you'll think about this. A St. Petersburg attorney has said in a new article that Facebook...
is causing 90% of her divorce cases. What? 90% is by Facebook or social media. And she says you get a little bit of everything that happens on Facebook, from clients coming in with pictures of the opposing party doing a keg stand with high schoolers to teenagers drinking alcohol served by a parent to a picture of a husband at a nightclub dancing with a babysitter. She said 90%. I mean, it's like someone walks in the door, she's knowing it's going to be Facebook-related. And a recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that Facebook... and I think I've said this before, has cited one in five divorces in the United States. The problem is not Facebook. 100% of teen pregnancies involve private parts. But just because you have a private part doesn't mean that you're going to use it for that. Yeah, but if Facebook wasn't around, maybe you wouldn't be having these divorces. Yeah, it's the people that are responsible. Accessibility. Well, yeah, you have accessibility. I've got accessibility. I'm not cheating. Neither is Woods, neither are you. There are people that use it that don't do that. If they're inclined, they're inclined. They may not be cheating, but...
Still, spouses don't know what their other significant other is looking up and who they're looking up and who they're messaging. Maybe now the dirty laundry is just being aired. Maybe all the creepy stuff that creeps were up to was happening all along. Now there's just no place to hide. I will say this. There's no doubt about it. It's easier. The access is easier, but it's the person. It's not the... But you wouldn't know what your high school sweetheart looked like if it wasn't for Facebook. And you're curious and will go look it up. It's the forbidden fruit dangling in front of your face. But you wouldn't be getting a divorce unless you had intercourse with said girl from your high school. Just don't dangle your fruit. Humans have weaknesses, so it's this forbidden fruit being dangled everywhere. It's dangled in front of you every day. You guys stop talking about dangling fruit. Stop saying dangling. Dangle, dangle. Oh, I got fruit that dingle, dingle, dingles. Isolate. Just isolate that. I need to hear it again. Jay, just make sure we get a clean cut. Go. Oh, I got fruit that dingle, dingle, dingles. Okay. And Jay. Oh, I got fruit that dingle, dingle, dingles.
What's going on in sports? Major League Baseball has suspended and fined Atlanta Braves pitching coach Roger McDowell for making homophobic and threatening actions towards fans in San Francisco. Yeah, this was not a good thing. There were children around. The father of the children said, hey, clown, there's kids up here. And he goes, hey, this is an effing ballpark. Kids don't belong here. You're a fag. Kids don't belong here? Really? Yes, it was real, real hardcore. They suspended him for two weeks. A lot of people are saying it probably should have been more. And in the NBA tonight, in the Eastern Conference, the Bulls are welcoming the Atlanta Hawks to town for the first game of that series. And the Lakers will host the Dallas Mavericks tonight in the first game of the Western Conference semifinals. Obama is about to speak about what happened with Osama bin Laden. So this is a live press conference. The President of the United States and Mrs. Michelle Obama. hear that very often. I always think of naked gun when I hear it. Please join me in prayer. Almighty and loving God, we ask your blessings upon this ceremony as we gather to commemorate the noble lives and sacrifices of two of our nation's precious sons. Privates First Class Anthony Kaho'o Ano Ano and Henry Savala. Those stirred by news of the... Can I just say that there is a woman in the front row with hair.
That is completely silver. And it is styled to the nines. I mean, fresh out of the beauty parlor. Of course. To the front row. Not the salon. Oh, yeah. Not the salon. Parlor. The beauty parlor. Looks like a giant ball of aluminum foil. Sitting on top of somebody else's head. It's very shiny, though. I'm just saying. It is... perfectly beauty parlor. A lot of older women get their hair done once a week, and then they won't, like, wash it the rest of the week. Can I just ask, though, like, that style, you know, that round bowl... The Barbara Bush. Yeah, the Barbara Bush. Oh, yeah. Is there... Okay, the man her age, is he like...
I think it's obligatory. I don't know what the age is. Maybe after 75. It's true. It has to happen. Like, every woman has to do it. Yeah. You just walk in and ask for the, can I get the Reynolds wrap, please? Yeah. The day before, she's got, like, Farrah Fawcett. And the next day, she turns 77, she comes back with this white thing. Do you think these women have to warn their husbands? Like, okay, look, I've gotten to the time. This is why it's time for me to do it. You know, I can't brush it anymore, whatever. Tomorrow it will be that. You have to tell me. I need a warning. I need to know. Like, just don't come in all silver fox though. Yeah. Anything creepier than an old lady with super long hair? I was just thinking. I told Matt yesterday, because I have really long hair. I'm like, when am I going to, like, when is it going to be like, grow up, Peter Pan? No, don't. Three kids. When you have three kids. That's what I told him. You're saying Rebecca needs to cut her hair? No, no, no. When you have, like, older kids. When, like. Three kids. No, I don't think it's her. I think it's amount of kids. I think it's an age. Yeah, Chris has got that look on his face like, wow, I think Woods just said something really terrible about Rebecca. Yeah, I think he did. She's got three kids. It's not about Rebecca. So Kim, I've got three older kids. So Kim, she cuddle her hair off? No, her hair. No, I didn't mean her. I mean, she's a bit older. Yeah, when you're like a mom, you gotta cut your hair off. No. I have a grandma that has...
shoulder length hair. It's straight and it looks gorgeous. It looks great. It doesn't look bad on all women. Yeah, Rose and Titanic looked amazing. When she let that hair down. But hers was like gray. It got all wiry. When she let that hair down, man. I lost it. Every man was like... Put it back up! Why didn't you... That part of the movie. Would you like to see my 26-inch long gray hair? Just in slow motion. We need to take a picture of this woman's hair on the TV. It is so silver and shiny. It is so silver. Keep causing these moments to remember. The heroic combat actions taken by these two soldiers on the Korean Peninsula some 60 years ago. Chances her name are Betty. Both Anthony and Henry responded furiously against an enemy onslaught to save the lives of their fellow soldiers. They led from the front and loved beyond measure. You don't meet a lot of grandmothers named Heather. No. Renee. Kate. Grandmothers.
Hey, this is my grandmother, Stephanie. This is my grandmother, Madison. Haley. Haley. Jessica. This is my grandfather, Jaden. Hey, guys, meet my grandfather, Colton. Just doesn't happen. This is Tyler and Madison. This is my grandparents. Is that your grandfather, Brad? ...who have given their loved ones to this nation and who have kept their memories alive for this very moment. By your grace, may we never forget their sacrifice. In your holy name, amen. Amen. Good morning, everybody. Please be seated. And yelling? On behalf of Michelle and myself, welcome to the White House. To our many guests from Hawaii, aloha. And thank you, Chaplain Carver, for that wonderful invocation. Seems sleepy. Long night. I think we can all agree. This is a good day for America. Our country has kept its commitment to see that justice is done. The world is safer. It is a better place because of the death of Osama bin Laden. Today, we are reminded that as a nation, there's nothing we can't do. When we put our shoulders to the wheel, when we work together. I've never heard that. I love it. Put your shoulder to that wheel, kid. Yeah.
Put your shoulder to the wheel, dude. Nose to grindstone? Yeah. When we remember the sense of unity that defines us as Americans. And we've seen that spirit, that patriotism, and the crowds that have gathered here outside the White House. What is this about? What are you doing? Talking more about how Osama bin Laden died. How we as a country did it. I just want to let people know he is still... dead. Yeah. So if there are any questions about him still being dead, I'm happy to take those questions. Fire away. Yeah. Well, I would play it for you, but I don't think there's anything that's going to be special that you're necessarily going to get. How about an exclusive, though? Woodsy, we have an exclusive all the way from Pakistan. Who is it? Well, guys, this is a special day for us on the Mikey Show. We have Sergeant John Doe of the Navy SEALs, who is responsible for the... He was in the group. He was in the group that took out Osama bin Laden. Good morning, or should I say good afternoon? Thanks for joining us, Sergeant Doe. First things first, tell us about when you got word of this operation. Yes, it is afternoon here. When I got word about the operation.
There's a delay. There's a delay, everybody. Tell us again about when you got word of the operation. There's a delay. Sergeant Doe, what did it feel like scaling the walls of the compound? And what did you say after taking down Osama bin Laden? What did it feel like scaling the walls of the compound? And what did you say after you took down bin Laden, sir? We're joined by Sergeant John Doe. He's one of the Navy SEALs that was responsible for taking down Osama bin Laden. Again, we're talking to Sergeant John Doe this morning. It was actually Osama bin Laden. You said Obama, but it's Osama bin Laden. You had said that it was Obama, but it's not. It's Osama bin Laden.
Again, we're talking to Sergeant John Doe this morning. Sergeant, what is the mood there in Pakistan? Yeah, I did. I said Osama. The mood is good. Well, thanks for joining us. Thanks so much. You need to go get some rest and have a cold one on us, okay? Well done, sir. Go get some rest. I'm tired. There's a delay right now. As you can tell, he's a few minutes back. Hey, go treat yourself real good, okay? I'll have a cold one. Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate that. It was our pleasure. Oh, it's my pleasure. Oh, my God. That's excellent. That delay is brutal all the time. Delay will just kill you every time. Really? We can't figure that out? Killing it all the time. Why can't we get that right? I know. I know. All the technology we got. Can we Skype? It'd be easier. Yeah. Skyping would be way easier. FaceTime, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe my wife hates me. Why? Well, because I FaceTime her. Oh. Nobody. I can't FaceTime with anybody. I guess I can FaceTime with you, Mike. I'll FaceTime with you. Okay.
FaceTime with you. FaceTime with you. Oh, my gosh. I just snotted. Let's see. Oh, you know what we haven't done is the stuff from the correspondence dinner. Oh, yeah. Now, this is pretty good stuff. So this is Obama's correspondence dinner. And, you know, he's got writers and everything. But it's still pretty funny. He still made some pretty funny jokes. So whoever wrote these jokes for the president. They did a good job, and he did a good job delivering them. But he was talking about Donald Trump and sort of responding to Donald Trump. Trump was in the house, wasn't he? Yeah, he was there. Oh, was he really? He was there. A lot of celebrities were there. That's pretty crazy. So here's what he said. Obviously, we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. For example... Now...
That one I was a little iffy on because I'm like, hey, easy junior senator. Easy big time. No, seriously, just recently in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice at the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around. But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately you didn't blame. Little John or Meatloaf, you fired Gary Busey. Busey. Easy Mythbusters. These are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. Yeah, seriously. Easy Mythbusters. Obama was on Mythbusters. That's funny. Yeah, easy the view. I love your guy, but can't be a little pot over there called Kettle Black. It's a good line. It's a good line. It was a good line. Little John, Meatloaf. That's funny, dude. It's funny.
But it's true. It's like, hey, dude. He's in that peeing match right now with Donald Trump. And, you know, I know it's supposed to be lighthearted, but you see Trump's face? He wasn't laughing. No, man. He wasn't laughing. He has some rocks to be there. Absolutely. After you just... diss him all week long. Oh, dude, and I say... Did I say diss? Sorry about that. And plus, even though they wrote that for the president, the president's got rocks to deliver the joke to Trump. Oh, yeah. I think it's hysterical. It's great. You know Trump's going to come back with a, I'm sorry my show got better ratings than your approval rating. Mythbusters, yeah. This is, man, this is irritating to me. And I, listen, I'm going to predict this. So I'm going to set it up before I even play it of Woodsy going, attaboy, I like that. But let's just break it down. Donald Trump. You see recently where a couple of days ago, Saudi Arabia said, let's raise the price. Let's cut back production. Can you believe it? You're going to be paying five and six dollars a gallon for gasoline pretty soon. And they want to go in and raise the price of oil.
Because we have nobody in Washington that sits back and said, you're not going to raise that price. You understand? You got to be fired up for that guy. I thought you would go, hey, there you go. Listen, if that came from somebody of any importance, I'd probably be fired up. I don't mind a curse word for effect every now and then. But I'm not listening to anything that bass clown says. I expect a curse word every now and then from Dennis Leary. Yeah, for sure. Not from a future president of the United States. I don't want it. Clean it up. And I don't think it's cool. I know there's a lot of people that go, no, man, that just shows that he's a real guy. He's fired up. Yeah. He's a real profane guy. And I don't want that as the leader of the free world and the person that, man, I want to be able to have a president that I tell my kids to look up to. I do. Absolutely. Baby, he speaks our language. I know he does, baby, but maybe he don't do that on national television. I say F this and F that and you say F and right. I know you do, baby, but we're living in a trailer honking our hoards like this, baby. We ain't running the country. He's one of us. I can be like him.
Baby, you're making me horn in that bikini. Oh, my God. It's my Confederate flag bikini. I love it more than that bikini. Oh, you do. You love the South. I died for the South, baby. I wish I was alive in the Civil War times. Oh, you wish you would. Batter a bunker here in that bedroom. That's right, baby. A lot of people say, hey, it ain't right the way you're so racist. And you know what I say to them? I say to them. Yeah, I know it ain't right, but I'm racist as all get up. You can be my Captain Crunch. You can be my Colonel Sanders. That's right, baby. You can be my private parts. That's right. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. You gonna wax my back? Oh, I done waxed your back last week. Let me see that. Look at this thing. Oh, it ain't hairy enough. I like a little more. Looks like a bargain. Looks like a nice sweater. Speaking of racist.
Did I mention I'm a racist? Yeah, you did. You say it in your sleep. You say, I'm a racist. I'm a racist. I do. But the only reason I do, baby, is because I'm racist. And don't I know it? That's the way I was raised. Eating gator, being racist. And that's why I love you. That's why we're meant to be, baby. I love you. Give me another ham and cheese. I'm drunk. We only got bologna. We don't got no expensive ham. Baby, if I have to drive this house out of here, I will. Here, the keys are on that rabbit foot. Hanging from the antlers. You take them. Baby, you're supposed to clean them antlers. I do. I clean them with W-40. What's that call that? W-D-40. That's what I meant. You make rabbit biscuits tonight?
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Rabbit balls. Ew. Make some rabbit stew. Yeah, I love it. Well, I ran out of rabbit. I put some squirrel in there. Baby, put that bikini back on. Okay, baby. Man, I'm all racist. You notice that Mexican moving next door? Oh, yeah, I seen him. I'm all right with that, though. That little Mikey's going to clean our yard up. That's true. They like to do that. I bet he can cook, too. I bet he can make the hell out of some beans. We're blowing that damn horn. I ain't going to stop blowing that horn. It's my horn. My name is Mikey. Really? I don't think you talk. I talk exactly like these. I don't think you do, man. These are my sons, Luke and Jake and Ryan. Those are some Mexican names, all right. This is my wife, Rebecca. Hello, my name is Rebecca. Hi.
Chances the Seals have this on the iPod going into the mansion. Oh, yeah. Can I tell you really quick one more thing about the White House Correspondents' Dinner? Yeah. Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn showed up together officially as a couple there. Hand in hand. They made their public, yes, we are together. Why were they invited? Why were they? You want to know who else was there? Anna Paquin, David Arquette, Rosario Dawson, Joan Rivers, Bradley Cooper, Mila Kunis. Jeff and Cher. Yeah, America Ferrara. Like, what? Ferreira, whatever. Ugly Betty was there? Yes, Ugly Betty. Chase Crawford is on Gossip Girl. That's it. What the heck? You showed him. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's plastic. Excellent job. Huh? Mikey. 570-1949. Uh-huh. Or text. That is funny. At 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. The wait is over. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Returns to the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on Sunday, June 5th. Ten great artists on two stages. Performing on the F&I stage. Four kids. Now hate me! Stage. The silent comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The soft pack. Heavy Hawaii.
Tickets are only $35 with no additional fees. $1 of every ticket sold will go to the About the Music Fund, which helps to support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. Tickets are on sale now. Purchase them online at independencejam.com or at fm949sd.com. Dependence Jam Coastal Invasion, presented by Miller Lite, Sunday, June 5th. Pro Flowers. Oh man, this week they're doing something good for you. A dozen assorted roses for your mama. Free glass vase. $19.99? That's crazy. It's a good price, man. Try Pro Flowers if you haven't already. They're really good. Roses for under $20. That's good. Exclusive deal. Now here, you can do this too. You can double your roses and get free chocolates for $10 more. Two dozen roses. Chocolates.
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Hola, mi amigos. No way. He's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right. And he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait. Didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah. I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub. Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today. Only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie, The Hangover Part 2, in theaters May 26th. When you run a business, you're the boss. The big kahuna. The big cheese. Actually, you're the big a lot of things. It's your show. It's all about you. At Wells Fargo, we're with you when your business needs financial guidance. We've been helping business customers for over 159 years. Our bankers will work with you to understand your needs and goals. They know that no two businesses are alike. and they'll help you to find the right solutions for your business. We're committed to your success, and we provide financial resources to help you grow. In fact, Wells Fargo is America's number one small business lender and the largest SBA lender. You don't have to do it alone, because at Wells Fargo, we're here for you, and we mean business. To find out how we can help your business, contact a local banker, visit your Wells Fargo store, or call 1-800-35-WELLS. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far.
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I'm your overly optimistic husband who assured you we had enough gas to make it home. Apparently, the power of positive thinking is far less valuable than the power of gasoline. Hope you have Good Hands Roadside Assistance. Introducing Good Hands Roadside from Allstate, a different kind of roadside assistance. You'll never pay a dime unless you use it. And it's open to everyone, not just Allstate customers. Go to allstate.com slash roadside to register and get important information. With the new Turtle Reef attraction and Shamusha opening this summer, there's never been a better time to get a SeaWorld fun car. Pay for a day, play all year. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Fried chicken may be my, it may be my favorite food item. Lauren. You know what, I'm just,
eat bad today. Let's get Burger King. Woods. It's the only thing I'm good about is washing my dishes, putting them in the dishwasher. Now, I don't know how to run on a dishwasher. I've never, never once turned it on. Sienna. I feel great because I love to go on walks and I hate to run. And Jay. I like mayonnaise and crackers. On FM 94.9. That's right. It's that Chicago singer nobody knows. But he's awesome. The other guy. Yeah. No name guy. Yeah. He's not Peter Cetera. Nope. Hey, it's the singer from Chicago that wasn't Peter Cetera. That dude. Hey, it's the singer from Chicago. Yeah, you're so good. Hey, aren't you the guy from Chicago that's not Peter Cetera? That's right. It's me. Can you sign this to Jeremy? Just put to Jeremy from the guy from Chicago that isn't Peter Cetera. He wears a shirt that says not Peter Cetera. He's got a belt buckle.
That says NPC. NPC, not Peter Cetera. Or it says, I'm with Peter Cetera. But in parentheses, but I'm not him. Do they put any effect on his voice? Just ran that through anything? Oh, it's such a good song. Love it. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is our friend Jared's website. I think it's a place where Obama had his fake... Birth certificate made. Oh, please. Call Jared. What's the matter with you people? Don't you know a joke when you hear one? No. It was just... It was a... Oh, for goodness sake. I mean, what are we, kids? We're children? We can't even make any jokes around here anymore? Comedy show? Gosh. Did you just have a comedy show? That's so rude, man. You were to just kill Osama Bin Laden. Just make a joke. DateYourDesignOnline.com Osama Bin Laden is gone.
Yes, he is. He has left the building. Just shot him in the head. There was a picture online that was supposed to picture him dead. MSNBC is reporting it as a phony. Yep. They said that they do have a picture and they're wondering whether or not to release it because it's so graphic. I do not want them to. I do want to see it. I feel like people will demand to see it. Much like Obama's birth certificate. I feel like it's a... It's our right. Yeah, I mean, I think it's appropriate. Yeah? Yeah. I think it's appropriate because I don't think that... Here's what I think is inappropriate. Yes, we got him, and just take our word for it, he's in the ocean. But then, do we assume that everything... Do we need proof for every other thing? No, just the biggest terrorist...
On planet Earth. So we're assuming that we're usually lied to then by the government or the media. Well, we need proof. When it comes to the biggest terrorist on planet Earth, I think that we do. I don't need to see graphic photos. I do. I don't want to see it, but I think to people that were personally scorned, you know, why else are people invited to go see someone on death row get executed? Closure. Yeah, closure. You want to see that the person's really gone. I just think it's strange if we say, You know, we killed Osama. First of all, when I first heard the news, I thought to myself, I wonder why we didn't take him alive. They tried. They tried. He resisted.
I'm sure he was armed. Well, doesn't everybody resist? What's he going to do? He probably had the mentality, it's you or me. And they had to choose, all right, it's you. I mean, if he had a gun in his hand and he was about to shoot, then okay, you'd take him out. You never know what he has. That's true. If he reached anywhere, that's it. I think the bottom line was they wanted him dead or alive, just get him out. Preferably dead. Yeah. Probably. Actually, preferably alive. Am I a monster? Because I go, oh, you said that he's dead and that he's gone and he's buried at sea. And that's it? That's the weirdest part, though. The buried at sea thing. Oh, yeah, we took care of it. We took care of it. We gave him the proper burial that he deserved. Really? It's weird. What else would you do with the body, though? You couldn't leave it there because it turned into a holy shrine. That's what they're saying. That's what some of the people had said on Facebook, which makes a lot of sense. Don't give him a place where people can go commemorate him. But you could also keep that place undisclosed or in a morgue. Yeah, I mean... For a minute, at least. I just think that with a public that's very cynical...
You don't just throw them right into the ocean. But they wanted to at least go by the rule that's within 24 hours. But why should he get his... It's not. I agree. It's to appease the fundamentalists and the Islamists. It's to appease them. Don't want to stir that hornet's nest. You don't pee on the bee's nest. Because we do have allies. Because shooting him in the head... Make sure he gets a proper bear. Hey, listen. We're going to take your biggest leader and we're going to cap him in the head. We hope that doesn't upset you because, hang on, hang on, hang on. Before you start screaming. Before you flip out that we shot him in the head and his son, we did give him a proper ocean burial. But I think that there's a lot of people, most people in that country did not agree with him, you know, and they still practice the same religion as him. That's cool. What? I don't know. It's cool, Dan. Okay. We were about to be angry. But then you said that after you shot him in the head and killed his son, you threw him in the ocean. Bunch of Americans said, one, two, three. Oh, it's cool, Dan.
Sienna's stepdaughter, Jenna. Yeah. Nine years old. Ten now, right? Uh-huh. Her and her friend, Kate, they decided that they were going to have a lemonade stand. Oh, boy. Saturday. Yeah, they did. Nice weather, right? It was perfect. Yeah, they were bored and I suggested. Do you guys want to do a lemonade sale? It was your suggestion? It was my suggestion. Because I used to do them all the time and I'd make like... eight bucks or something the whole day. And they were like, yeah, let's do it. Let's make money. So I took them to the grocery store. We got all the stuff, the plastic cups and the pitcher and all the ingredients, whatever. They also wanted to get cupcakes and cookies and sell those as well. What did they stick it on? It was on a table. On a table? Yeah, they had a little plastic table set up outside of our house. Made the sign. Who set it up? Todd brought out the table and two chairs for them to sit on and they... arranged everything how they wanted. We bought store-bought cookies, but they put them in like a Tupperware as if we had made them. And people thought they'd add. I mean, it's good. They were good. And then I'm going to start at the beginning. And I put them out there. I'm like, okay, you guys, just brace yourself. People may not stop. They're busy. Don't take it personally. Just try and have fun. And they're like, okay.
So they're outside and I can see them from the house. And I'm hearing honking and honking, people driving by. I hear Jenna yelling, lemonade, lemonade, $1, cupcakes, 50 cents, cookie, 75 cents. It's a deal. And then they were giving like, if you buy one cup, then we'll throw in the cookie. They were out there no more than two hours and made $58. Oh my God. $58. Did you get a cut? No. I know. Take it 10%. Well, I figured I spent like 30 at the grocery store buying all this stuff. But I'm like, okay, well, now we have the stuff. Now they know what they're doing. They were so excited. And they split it perfectly. You know what you've done now? Created a monster. Oh, yeah. Every weekend, lemonade. Hey, she's going to be like, Sienna, I'm actually going to drop out of school. We're going to do a professional lemonade stand. Janet's house of lemonade. I was teaching her. We went to CBS last night. I had to run to the store really quick, so Janet came with me, and she was looking at the poster boards and the markers, and she's like, oh, this highlighter will make a really good lemon to draw on the board.
And this poster board is neon, so it will get their attention better. You're like easy, Orville Red. And I said, well... Hey, Leia and Coco, why don't you settle down? I told her, I said... You know, that's a really, that's smart marketing, you know, but you made that money. So you're going to have to buy whatever you want from now on. It's a business. And she wanted to do a lemonade sale yesterday too. And I was like, oh my gosh. You're like, no, you're not an entrepreneur. I said, not every day. Like maybe like twice a month. You get a call from the principal. Jenna did not show up for school today. You drive up. She's like, lemonade, $3. She's on convoy. Jenna's in the break room. She's trying to sell all the teachers lemonade. She won't go to class. Sienna shows up and she's like, I'll chew your balls off like a wolf. You owe me $4.50. You understand me? Hurry up. It was good though because I let them out there to do it themselves. I could see them the whole time, but they learned better like money and giving them change back. And one guy only had a 20. He didn't have change. And so they gave him a free drink. And then the next guy that came up didn't even buy anything and just gave him a 20. Oh, wow. Because he was like, I haven't seen a lemonade stand in so long. So it's like karma.
Every time I see a lemonade stand, I have to get it. They're so cute. I try. It doesn't matter what I have on me. I'm like, here you go. I'll give them like a five or something. Really? I try. Oh, wow. Interesting. Huh. Hi. Just squeeze my lemon. I'll have lemonade for sale in here. I'll take your shirt. I got a 20. You don't have a 20? Can I see your lemons? I just want to make sure they're... I want to make sure they're... Sour. Oh, what? What? What? Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. San Diego Radio has never mobilized this type of takeover. The prizes are huge. On Saturday, May 14th, The Mikey Show and M1's Takeover Qualcomm Stadium from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Operation Street Impact.
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How about that weather? Was it warm when you came in? Yeah, it's going to be beautiful. It's supposed to be like 85 today. It's going to be really nice. I'm in my flip-flop shorts. These Ugg boots were not a good decision. So we were talking to Sienna about how her stepdaughter, Jenna, who's 10, Had this lemonade stand. Yeah, $58. Can you believe that? In less than two hours. I'm going to start a lemonade stand. Well, I asked her, I go, because she said that they had a table set up out there for the lemonade. And I said, who, you know, she said that Todd, her husband, put the table up. And I said, well, what was the... explain the situation when the table went up. She goes, well, he was already outside doing yard work. I said, oh, okay. I actually grabbed the table from the garage and brought it out there. He just set it up because I didn't know how like the locks worked to make sure it didn't fall. Because I don't know if I'm the only monster. You do it too? Todd does it too. Does what? Men do this. It's monsters. I'm going to let you, I'm going to tell you now, Hillary. Don't freak out. Hillary, she'll already know.
I bet Jeremy does it, your husband. Everyone does. A wife has a very particular tone when she goes, babe. Hey, babe. And the babe is, I need help with something. And whatever I need help with is physical, and it's going to take work. It's not urgent. And it's going to take time, and we want it done now. Okay. And we're watching TV, and we have the remote in our hands, and we're all fat, and we're sitting on the couch. So that's just, you call it Saturday. Every day. It's killing me! It's killing me! You call it fatter day, fatty. Every day's fatter day for you. So you watch TV and you hear, babe! And you go. Maybe it'll stop. Don't move. You think of it like an earthquake. You're like, it's just a tremor. Babe! Mike did a slow turn. Babe! We know. And we'll hear it getting more and more distant. And we're like, she's off my set. She thinks I'm not home. And she comes in to the living room. She's like, didn't you hear me calling you? And I'm like, oh, I know that he can hear me because he'll be in the room and like say a whisper and I could hear him. And then I'm screaming. I couldn't hear you. What is wrong with you? Yes, you can. She's like, hey, can you pick up?
the car and carry it four blocks down the street to my friend Nancy and then bring her car back on your shoulders. Oh, he's not. It's like, can you reach this? Yesterday morning, Todd ran to the store to get some beer for his, you know, relaxing Sunday. And I'm like, hey, will you take my car and then fill it up with gas on the way? Oh, no. You are a monster. She is not. She's the monster. I was home with the baby. My car needed gas. The gas station's not open when I come to work. You know? And he... I was so surprised. I knew I was going to get a look like, really? Really? But he didn't do it, and he went and filled it up. Good man. And I was like, yeah. Wow, but I did. I knew I was a monster. Did you use the two-syllable, babe? Did you go, babe? Babe. Hey, babe. While you're out, can you take my car and fill it up? Oh. Wow. Yeah. You know what? But it goes both ways. I do do that to Jeremy, my husband. Does he ignore you? Did he do this morning? No. He totally, he takes good care of me. He gets stuff done for sure. But it goes both ways. Yeah. Rebecca asked, Rebecca texted me yesterday. I spoke yesterday morning and I did two services and I was, I couldn't wait to get home. This thing was over, 12 o'clock.
Got there at like 7.30 in the morning, over at 12, wanted to come home. And she texted me and said, if you're going to get something to eat on your way home, will you text me? And so I texted her back and I said, well, I wasn't going to, but if you'd like, I'll get you something. And she said, no, it's okay. You don't have to go out of your way. And I said, well, we have leftover pizza because I had ordered some pizza with her favorite kind too. She said, I'll just have pizza. I felt bad later. So I went, picked up dinner, came home, got a little carrying tray. Look at you. Made her a little thing. Nice. Took it up to her. But, you know, we'll do that stuff back and forward. Exactly. Can't see too well. Is that Hugh Grant over there? Yeah. Well, Hugh Grant. It pays off because then you do it for each other. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you have to. Wiener tag. Exactly. I knew you guys ignored us, though, when we called.
Jay. Jay. That's how it pays off. Yeah, that's how it pays off. In your house, I guess. We call it Notting Hill. Poor Jim is just like, leave me alone. I know. Look at the shirt, Jim. Look at the shirt. That was a double shot. Who does that when he gets nervous? He shakes his shirt. Yeah, he shakes his shirt. That was me being bold. I got crabs on my back. This is a real job in life. Boy, it's opposite. Wiener time. Wiener time. Nice beaver. Oh, boy. Hillary. What do you have coming up? What did I grab? Manchester Orchestra's new record. It comes out in a week, so I'm going to play something off that and The Strokes and New Beastie Boys, and I'm going to start with M.I.A. There you go. We'll be in Talented Hillary up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning, 6 o'clock. Mikey shows out. I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. K.B.C.T. San Diego. A Lincoln Financial Radio Station.