The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/07/10

0:00KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. On Fridays, on Fridays we do the M1 Backstage Pass where we have listeners actually in the studio here with us. And so it's pretty cool. And we have Woodsy's friend Fenwick's in today, which is very cool. Fen's in here, nice. Good to see you. You can call us if you want to. 570-1949 is the number. And you can also text us 949mikey at gmail.com is how you get a hold of us by text. We got an incredible show today. We are so full with material and a lot of big news. A fight.

3:16At a jail here in San Diego that we're going to be talking about. What happened with the Dow yesterday, which is pretty historic. Crazy. What happened financially to this country yesterday. And the big story is Lawrence Taylor. If you haven't heard about that, we're going to fill you in on that. And the charges of rape that we'll tell you about with Lawrence Taylor. First, let's introduce everybody. There's five people on the Mikey Show. Myself. I am the host of the show. I'm 39 years old. We got Woodsy. He's our boy. He's our sports guy. And he is 34. We got Lauren. And Lauren is 29 years old. More on that later, too, by the way. I'm going to be telling you all about that. Sienna, 25 years old. She's our news girl. And Jay's 46. He's our producer. And also, a little bit later on in the show, if you haven't heard, I'll be paying off a bet to Woodsy. Yes. And I will. What did we, what are we doing? My mouth just filled up with saliva. Saliva? The gland. I call it the glands. The glands. Yeah. I showed him what he was going to be eating later and he almost started to cry. He did. He didn't even say anything. He's like. Mentally, I don't even know where to take my head so that I don't get. Should we just get it over with? I was almost going to say just get it over with now. Yeah, let's do it. It's cantaloupe. Like a band-aid?

4:47Mikey hates cantaloupe. He hates cantaloupe. He signed up for this bet, though, and he lost. He did. He lost. He initiated it. He bet me that Pacino and De Niro shared a scene together in The Godfather 2, which I knew all along was impossible because De Niro played Pacino's father back in the day. Would you like me to keep the cantaloupe in the fridge? You want me to just leave it out? You didn't do anything. Mikey, come on. I'm a pregnant woman. What am I going to do? I thought you guys would be like, let's be funny and get him one that's not ripe yet. No, this is the same cantaloupe I've been eating every day this week. So it's old. No, it's delicious. So it's old. It's delicious. I bought it on Wednesday or Tuesday. I hate cantaloupe. It's so good. I'm right there with you, bro. I think I'm going to have a piece. I shall have a piece. Yeah, there you go. Help yourself. It smells like it's spoiled. Don't open the bag. Tell him how good it is. It's a little hard. It's a little firm. Is that bad? It's delicious and juicy. There's softer pieces and there's always some harder ones around the green edge. It's delicious. I don't want to. First, the Dow Jones Industrial Average yesterday took a...

6:07Yeah, they're saying one of the most volatile days in Wall Street history happened yesterday afternoon because of a typo. Apparently, this someone, okay, well, I'll start at the beginning. The Dow Jones lost nearly 1,000 points in less than a half an hour, including the loss of 600 points in just seven minutes. That's nuts. Yes. All my investments went to pot yesterday. Are you being serious? No, I don't have any investments. Come on, I have no investments. Yeah, this happened yesterday afternoon. It was one of the biggest drops ever. Your flat screen? Is that what you're doing? Yeah, dude, my portfolio is shut now. I don't know what I'm going to do. Your leased car? I have like $7 in 401k, so hopefully that's still okay. Oh, my gosh. They're saying it's one of the biggest drops ever during a trading day, but luckily it recovered nearly just as quickly as it fell. And by the time of the closing bell, it was nearly two-thirds of the way back. Good. Okay, but there's a reason for it. Yeah, no one's really sure. exactly what happened other than there's automated orders that were activated by uh different trades but one possibility that's being investigated was that a trader accidentally placed an order to sell 16 billion instead of 16 million holy yeah okay well there's also this deal with what happened in greece yesterday yes there was a greek financial crisis yesterday this is the white house secretary talking about it

7:32Anything that we believe has the ability to affect the global economic recovery is and should be a concern to this country. Okay, now, I'm going to play you this clip, but I don't want everybody to freak out when they hear it because it's pretty sensational. Do you know who Brian Williams is? He took over for Broca on NBC Nightly News. I like Brian Williams. He was a guest on David Letterman. Now, I heard it and I thought to myself, this guy is obviously, he's really into this. He's really making a big deal out of it. But I don't think that it's as run to the hills as he does. But Brian Williams certainly gives it a lot of gusto. Here's what happened this afternoon. And this is not hyperbolic, but I felt a sickness in the pit of my stomach.

8:29Kind of 9-11 sickness in the pit of my stomach. You think that's... Really? That's an overreaction. That's an overreaction. That's him putting it in some pretty harsh terms. Yeah. I watched over 15 minutes. Our stock market fell exactly 1,000 points this afternoon. A deep, straight dive at times in increments of 50 points. I watched it go 700, 750 down, 8, 850, 9, 950. A free fall. Nothing to stop it, but it did. Procter & Gamble lost half of its value from this morning in four minutes this afternoon. Our stock market went into a deep decline, a bottomless dive. There's some speculation as we sit here that it was computer triggers, that it was a glitch. But I'm telling you, on every television set at the NYSE this afternoon was the live picture of police beating demonstrators in Greece. One fire on a sidewalk. Turned out to be three people on fire. The parliament had passed this measure to do some emergency spending. Here's the daisy chain. Greece to Portugal to Italy. Germany is kind of Europe's bank.

9:41Germany, a lot of this stops at Germany, but we're going to be in some trouble here for a while. The danger is it hurts the U.S. economy. As someone said on television this afternoon as part of the cable coverage, the dirty little secret is the world has no money and the emperor has no clothes. If I wasn't a tad too close to this, I'd probably not leave the house. Okay, Brian, that seems like a little, you know. Wow. How do you really feel about it, Brian? I mean, he's making a pretty big deal out of it. I like the Emperor's New Clothes. Yeah, the Emperor's New Clothes was a nice touch. He's throwing it in there. Not to overstate it, it was a pretty big deal yesterday. Yeah, it's a huge deal, but it ain't no 9-11. It ain't no 9-11, dude. Good Lord. It's not. So, what happened? Did Procter & Gamble regain their value? When it came back. Because it bounced back, like Sienna said, almost two-thirds of the way there. Good. If it was based off of one person's mistake, what does that person do? How great would you feel? He looks at his boss. Nope. Sorry. My bad. Yeah, I don't know. If what Brian Williams is saying is there's anything credible to it, and the fact that Greece has this financial crisis going on,

11:05And it does what it does to Europe, which affects everybody else. It's one of those deals where you're like, hey, can you guys figure it out so we can, you know, get it figured out? And that's a pretty big deal. So I can watch my Dancing with the Stars and Peace. Yeah, please. I mean, Grey's Anatomy was on last night. Thank you. Other priorities. That was a pretty big deal. What about the Lawrence Taylor thing, Woodsy? Man. This is huge. We were... In here yesterday, having a good time, doing our show, and we happened to glance up at the TV and see that Lawrence Taylor has been arrested again. This one is a lot more serious. They're basically saying, at this point, Lawrence Taylor has been charged with rape. Oh, my goodness. Rape of a 16. Yesterday it was 15, but we found out since she had run away from home in New York, she has now turned 16. 16-year-old makes no difference. Yeah. But, yeah, she's 16 years old. She was a prostitute, kind of out of being forced to be a prostitute by this guy that she met in the Bronx. They met at a bus stop. And he said, yeah, you don't have a place to stay. You stay with me. But you're going to do this for me. And allegedly, LTE, Lawrence Taylor, used a middleman to talk to this guy to get this girl brought to his hotel room, the Holiday Inn in Ramapo, New York. She came in, paid her $300. They had sex, allegedly.

12:26And the rest is history. And if you saw the pictures of LT yesterday, I mean, he's an African-American man. The guy looked white. He was white as a ghost. Really? I mean, just he was lost color in his face. He was sitting in the courtroom. I was like, oh, dude, that doesn't look like LT. So it's statutory rape because she's underage, but it wasn't forcible or anything? No, as far as we know. But here's the, Mike, I've got some audio of the Ramapo police chief talking about the charges. Cut one. The investigation indicates that Mr. Taylor engaged in sexual intercourse with a child less than 17 for which he paid the victim $300. Oh, my goodness. Of course. Okay, so the cops come to his door, right? Yeah. And they knock on the door at, I think, 2.54 in the a.m. He doesn't answer. At his home? At his hotel. At his hotel room. At the Holiday Inn. Right. Knocks on the door, he doesn't answer. Knocks again, doesn't answer. They go to the manager. We need to get in here. And the manager goes, yeah, I'll let you in. They walk in. He's like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. Yeah, I'm here to cooperate in any way I can. No evidence of drug use in the room because he's got a long, long, long history of drug use and drug arrest. So they're talking to him and he goes, yeah, I paid her and had sex with her. This is what they're saying. Really? Then he talks to his attorneys. Attorneys are like, he never said that. So this is literally going to be LT against this girl. He said, she said. Here is his attorney, Arthur Adalia. Mikey, cut two.

13:48The district attorney's office is charging him with a consensual act. Lawrence Taylor did not have consensual sex with anybody last night. So now. That's his attorney? That's his attorney. Well, if he said to the cops, I did this. And I paid her. That means that there's a couple of cops, I'm guessing, that heard that, right? I wonder if at first, could it be possible he thought he was being charged with, like, soliciting a prostitute? Not knowing she was underage and then when he found out. Possibly. I mean, I think at this point anything is possible. That's a really good, that could probably be it. He thought that he was admitting to having sex with a prostitute. Yeah, my bad. I got a hooker, paid her. Like, yeah, that's against the law. Sorry. I'll pay the piper. I'll pay the fine and move on. Probably didn't realize she was 16. Or maybe he did. Or maybe he did. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable, man. And this guy has bounced back from a lot of stuff. I mean, a lot of stuff. A lot of, you know, they found him with crack. I think they found him with a prostitute before. I mean, he's been arrested a hundred times. Was he on Dancing with the Stars? Yes. He was on Dancing with the Stars last year. He ain't coming back from this one, they're saying. They said it's just, he's not going to have that public perception anymore. And it's, you know, dude, the guy was a...

15:11The greatest linebacker to ever play the game. That is nuts. It's gnarly. That's one of the biggest. You know, sports stories in terms of like arrests and that kind of. Yeah, it's massive. And, you know, what makes it just disgusting is the charge, you know, of rape against a 16 year old. And you know what? This thing is not going to end for a while. We're going to be talking about this. So you guys brace yourselves. You're going to get a lot of LT talk in the next few weeks. I mean, it's not like you're going to Carter. OK, you're right. That looks good. OK, let's do this. And I think that it is worth pointing that out in that it isn't. a rape of a 16-year-old in that he attacked a girl and beat her and raped her. Statutory. He had rape with someone that he believed to be a prostitute, and it turned out to be an underage girl, unless he knew that it was an underage girl. I thought it was that you had to knowingly have sex with them, like knowing that they were underage. Like he picked her up from high school. Knowing that they were underage, but I guess that wouldn't be the case.

16:14That happens to people all the time. They get charged with that because they're not over 18. I mean, it's good. Like I said, it's going to come down to what he says against what she says. I mean, he's basically now. Against what she says or against what the cops say? The cops and her. I mean, they're saying they've given her initials. They haven't given her a name because she's a minor. But I think it's like CT or something. It's going to be LT against CT and what they say. Yes, he had sex. I mean, can't they do? They can do tests to see. Yeah. But if she's a prostitute. I mean, it's got to be DNA. They've got to match up his DNA. But it's pretty crazy, man. That blows me away. A 16-year-old prostitute. I mean, what has gone wrong in your life that's turned you into that? Well, it kind of said it seems like a human trafficking thing. Like, this guy was like... Well, that's who they should be going after. People that are turning these girls. And I think they will. I think they will. And this guy, Rashid something, beat her up. I mean, beat her up, admitted to beating her up. And basically what she did was she was texting her uncle. Like, hey, I'm at the hotel with Lawrence Taylor. Dude, and you hate to say it, but, I mean, she knew who LT was apparently. So, I mean, man, you just never know. This thing is very sordid, but, you know, it's the old bit on the Mikey show is the guy who doesn't get arrested for rape is the guy that doesn't get a hooker called to his room, you know? That old story. That old story, you know? But we'll see how that shakes out.

17:38What was the deal with the Otay Mesa jail fight, Sienna? There was a big fight yesterday around 1245 in the afternoon, about 20 in vape. Inmates got into a little bit of a brawl at the George Bailey Detention Facility, which is at the Otay Mesa Jail. Apparently, they were all gathered in what's known as the day room, where they have access to TVs and telephones and stuff. And just a fight broke out of nowhere between blacks and Hispanics. And they said, this is what always happens whenever there's a jail fight. People break into their racial groups. And it lasted for about five minutes and then it was over. And three inmates were taken to jail. And it was just like this huge crazy fight. in jail from jail. I mean, not jail. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Three inmates were taken to the hospital because they were injured. Yeah. I didn't mean to say jail. You guys are all staying here. Right. Go to your room. Go to your room. No, they were taken to the hospital due to injuries. Yeah, but.

18:31Pretty crazy. That's a nutty story. Scary visual thought. Guards had to use bean bags and pepper ball shots? Wait a minute, like hacky sacks? I don't know. No, they shoot bean bags. Yeah, that's what they said they had to do. Toss across. That must be a really, really big gun that would shoot a bean bag because they're comfortable to sleep on. No, no, no. But I would imagine getting hit by a giant one. A big cannon. Did you ever see Jackass when Knoxville takes one? A big beanbag? No, a tiny little beanbag shot out of a cannon. Is that what that thing is that shoots him in the stomach? Yep. Oh, my gosh. Oh, dude, and the wilt is like that big and has a heartbeat of its own. Size of a grapefruit. I bet that hurts. My guess is that hurts. Yes. 570-1949 is our number. You want to call us, give us a call. You want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Don't forget the Mikey Show Invitational is on Thursday. So if you want to bid on that, go to mikeyshow.com. We're going to be playing golf out at Riverwalk Golf Course, which is a really cool course that you do. You can even do.

19:32Go there at night, and they got lights on. You can play there at night. If you go there, you can also use their driving range. It's really cool. And we're going to be out there raising money for Rady Children's Hospital, their ADI program, which is the Autism Discovery Institute. Now, that's a cool reason to be bidding no matter what. And so just to try to raise the money. So go to MikeyShow.com and get in on that. And then don't forget, too, one week from today. We're doing the Mikey Show meet and greet. Yeah. It's going to be out of Hoos. It'll be very cool, right? It'll be fun. And so we want people to come out and join us for that. It's going to be a good time. By the way, walked in this morning to Lauren and a apple. Ew. Tell everybody what happened with that apple. Oh, disgusting. I left the house this morning and the lights were out. Just grabbed my apple and, you know, no big deal. Driving to work. Still dark. And took a big honking bite out of the apple. You're feasting on it. Feasting. Yeah. Not just a big bite, but a big honking bite. I've been fasting for hours. So I took a bite of it and instantly it was like, bleh. I took a post-it note from in my car and just put the apple chunks in it. And I didn't see until I actually, like.

20:56Got opened by, you know, stopped my car, got to work, and the little internal light went on. And I saw the apple. It was brown. It was rotten. It was rotten. It looked like a brown bomb went off inside the apple. There was definitely a wormhole. Ew. That's happened to me before. I still say it looks like it was filled full of peanut butter. Yeah. And that sounds delicious. Yeah. It really did. I put it. In Mikey's spot where he's... Because I wanted him to walk in. Your reaction was a lot calmer than I was expecting. He goes, what's the deal with that? What's that? It's a rotten apple, dude. We love setting up Mikey for little traps. Why is it here in my place? Well, dude, we just wanted to show it to you. Okay. What's the deal with that app? More importantly than how gross it is, what's it doing in my space? Yeah, what's it doing here? Why is it right there? Yeah, why is it there? What's going on with that? My computer goes here. What are you doing? It was filthy. I told you to take a picture of it. Show your kids in 20 years. I threw it out. You did? Where it belongs. Yeah. Yep. Hideous. Disgusting. Hideous. Well, she had a, you know, if you gave me, by the way, if you gave me a choice.

22:03I would feast on that apple before I would eat the cantaloupe. You are kidding. You'll get it out of the garbage. No way, Mike. I'd eat it out of the garbage. Deal. Deal. I'll make you a deal. You know how much I hate cantaloupe. I'm right there with you. This was, it was out of this world. There's no way you'd eat a rotten apple before eating cantaloupe. Why don't we have Mikey eat the apple? The taste of it. I'm okay with that. Do you really want to take the PepsiCo? Take it out of the trash can. It's one of those would you rather, you know? It's like, would you rather eat a bad apple? Trust me, you'd rather have the cantaloupe. Really? That's how gross it was. Fresh cantaloupe or a rotten worm-filled apple? I hate cantaloupe. It tasted like poison. It did? It tasted like I would imagine poison tastes like. Did it make you nauseous? Oh, yeah. Still. I haven't eaten anything yet. Full of worm droppings. Why are you doing that to me, Woodsy? He's blowing the cantaloupe juice towards him in the air. Because I'm seven? Waft it. He just opened up the Ziploc bag. Ooh, I smell it. And squeezed it in my direction like a whale's blowhole. Like those things you put on the fire to put air in. Yeah, exactly. Like a filthy cantaloupe whale. Oh, that's terrible. A wafter? No. I don't know. We got Lauren O'Brien picking the music today. The band.

23:21So let me ask you this. What team do you think decided to throw the dice on Adam Pac-Man Jones? Because one of them did. Yes. He's going to tell us here in sports. And President Almond Joy of Iran. Almond Joy? President Mount? President Ahmadinejad. Let's call him Almond Joy. Almond Joy. He may be the craziest person I've ever heard. Oh, wow. Wait till you hear where he said Osama Bin Laden is. He's a clown. He's a clown. Go next. I think that people are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. On FM 94.9. You've been to the parties. Now. Circa Now's CD release event. Tomorrow night. We've top of the 10th Avenue Theater downtown. Photography, DJs, fashion, and video art with the San Diego skyline as a backdrop. 21 and over. Admission is $15 and includes a copy of Circa Now's new CD, Hotter Than a Pistol. Come for a serve day of only.

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31:08starting to cause a backup. This report is also brought to you by SeaWorld. SeaWorld kicks off its festival of Latin music, food, and fireworks performing live at Shamu Stadium. On May 8, Banda El Recodo de Cruz Lizárraga. On May 9, Mariachi Vargas de Tecalitlán. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I made an interesting observation over the weekend about myself, which was at what age do we just start to use the word? Wonderful. Lauren. Yep, I admit when I'm wrong. Woods. If I had my choice, I'd be sitting on a beach having a Marlboro. Doing nothing. Sitting. Playing my guitar. That's it. Sienna. Yes, I have big boobs. And Jay. I'm so tired. On FM 94.9. So Woodsy's going to be telling us here in a second what team has decided that they'd like to give Adam Pacman Jones a try. So we're going to be telling you that in just a second. President of Iran is Ahmadinejad. And he's a little bit kooky. He's a little crazy, Ahmadinejad. And he was getting interviewed by George Stephanopoulos. Take a listen to this guy. There's a new documentary out that says that Osama bin Laden...

32:52is living in tehran is osama bin laden in tehran your question is laughable why the u.s government has invaded afghanistan in order to arrest bin laden they probably know where bin laden is if they don't know where bin laden is why did they invade first they invaded then they tried to find out where he is is that logical Do you think this is logical? What I think is that you didn't answer my question. Is he in Tehran or not? Our position is quite clear. Some journalists have said bin Laden is in Iran. These words don't have legal value. Our position towards Afghanistan and against terrorism is quite clear. Is it true or not? You know what freaks me out about this? A lot. Well, besides everything? Yeah. You know what freaks me out about it is that, I'm just talking human nature here. If somebody accuses you of something that is a lie. don't you immediately go, no. No, yeah. You go, no. Wasn't me. So if they say, do you have Osama bin Laden in your country and you don't, don't you go, no. Absolutely not. In fact, let's say that you are the type that is, let's say that you're a rascal. You got a rascally personality. Yeah, that's right. That's like myself. Like Woodsy. Maybe you even go, no, you nut.

34:13You dope. I don't. Maybe you're even confrontational about it. But what creeps me out about Ahmadinejad is he's doing what people do when they lie. Right. They skate around the question. And the long, drawn-out answer. Yes. Yeah, the long, long answer. So he's like, so do you have Osama bin Laden? You know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I think you know. Didn't you invade? You invaded because you knew where he was. You knew. I don't know. What do you want? I don't know. Maybe you know, but I don't know. I'm asking you, you're the president of Iran. I don't know such a thing. You are giving news which is very strange. Really? Am I? Yeah. I notice you're not answering the question. It's a beautiful language, too, they speak. Just off the cuff. I mean, it's really beautiful. Let me ask you a different way. If you did know that Osama bin Laden was in Tehran, would you show him hospitality? Would you expel him? Would you arrest him? I heard that Osama bin Laden is in Washington, D.C.? No, you didn't. Oh, why did he say that? I heard. Is that Osama bin Laden's in Washington, D.C.? I heard he's at Starbucks right down the street. I heard he's in Akron, Ohio. What if he was in Washington, D.C.? What is he implying by that? He's just being a smarty. Yeah. He's being a smarty pants. Is he saying we have terrorists in our own nation's capital? No, he's saying that Osama bin Laden... But, I mean, is that, like, metaphorically speaking? No. Maybe. He's being a smarty pants. Maybe he was talking about the big guy. Yep, like we elected him to president. Yeah.

35:42Could be. Would you show him hospitality? Would you expel him? Would you arrest him? I heard that Osama bin Laden is in Washington, D.C. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. He's there because he was a previous partner of Mr. Bush. They were colleagues, in fact, in the old days. Is that right? He's a loon. Wow. They worked together. Mr. Bin Laden never cooperated with Iran, but he cooperated with Mr. Bush. Do you deny categorically that he's in Tehran today? Osama bin Laden is not in Tehran today? Rest assured that he's in Washington. I think there's a high chance he's there. Is that a little bit creepy? Actually, no. It's not creepy at all. Because there's no way he's there. No, not that. Is it creepy that he's not flat out saying... No, he's not here. He's not in Tehran. I mean, the whole thing is just creepy to me. All right, I got to know. I got to know. Pac-Man Jones? Yeah. Adam, Pac-Man Jones is officially a Cincinnati Bengal. Unbelievable. Yes. Unbelievable. We talked yesterday. They've had 10 guys arrested in 14 months. They are now the kind of, I guess you'd call it the last stop. The Bad Boys Club. The Bad Boys Club. There's a ton of them there.

37:15That's unreal. The rap sheets on that team are long and deep, my friend. How do you sort of defend that PR nightmare? In other words, when Sports Illustrated comes in, talks to your club president, and says, how come you guys keep hiring felons? Because we believe in ninth chances here, Mikey. Yeah. Maybe they're just thinking there's so many good players out there that make stupid mistakes. They're like... We just want them for their talent. So if no one else wants him, we'll build up a good team off of the screw-ups. They're definitely saying that. They are saying that. He has agreed in principle on a two-year deal to head Cincinnati, so we will keep an eye on this clown for sure. It's unreal, man. It's unreal. He is a clown. He is a Pac-Man. He is a clown. Tiger Woods is coming back to form a little bit. He fired a two-under 70 yesterday. J.B. Holmes and Robert Allenby were six-under yesterday at the TPC at Sawgrass. The course is in great shape as far as the golfers are concerned. The greens were soft, so the course was playing a lot easier. 36 players shot in the 60s yesterday. And that's a lot of folks in the 60s, man. Masters champion Phil Mickelson had the same score as El Tigre. So they're both two under. Wow. Leaders at six under. So he's four shots off the lead. And we can see all this over the weekend, right? Sure.

38:36That's awesome. I'll be watching some of it, too. Sure. And me and you will be at the driving range all weekend. We have to, bro. We have to. You're never going to go. We have to. Got to get ready for Thursday. I think that Woods and I feel like if we say it, it's sort of like we did it. It's like we did it. You know, we have to go hit some balls and then we feel like we've done it. We just have to say it every day. Also, the inevitable has finally happened in Oakland. The Raiders have cut ties with former number one pick Jamarcus Russell. And in my opinion. The biggest bust in NFL history. Yeah, maybe. It's probably worse than Ryan Leaf, right? Yeah. Of course. He will have made $39.4 million from the Raiders by the time it's all said and done. He's won seven games as a starter. Great return on that investment. Oh, that's awful. You'll like this. He's made $5 million a win, $2 million per touchdown pass, and more than $100,000 per completion. My jaw just dropped open. Yeah. A hundred. I throw you a two-yard out, I make $100,000. I throw you a five-yard slant, $100,000. They should add up how much you got paid for all the interceptions because there was a lot of those, too. Absolutely. That's unreal. And finally, it's a big weekend for your boy because the Yanks and the Red Sox take on each other at Turdway Park tonight. Phil Hughes will be taking on Josh Beckett. And I'll be watching. Is it uncomfortable for your wife when the games are on? Yes, very. She has to leave. Does she?

40:02No. Does she watch them with you? She watches and tells me to watch my mouth and don't yell so loud. We have neighbors and don't throw things. And, I mean, dude, it's bad. I mean, we're in May. And so, I mean, it doesn't really matter. These games really don't matter for the Yanks and Sox. They play each other so many times. What's it like during the ALCS when they're playing each other? What's that like? I'm a wreck. You're a wreck, right? A wreck. You'll see. I will? I'm terrified of this. Yeah, me too. Baseball playoffs come October. I'm sure you have a big sense of humor about it. No. I'm going to be really scared if they don't do well and he comes in the next morning. It's bad. It's bad, bad. He's going to be very cranky come September. Am I? Maybe I'll be extremely happy. You'll be elated. Maybe I'll be elated for the 28th time. Stop it. We're going to be like the sports wife. Yeah. Meaning that if they lose, we're going to be like, oh boy. That's bad. You know what I'm going to be? What's this coming in tomorrow?

41:01It'll be the fire poker. Yeah. She'll be poking the tiger. Oh, my gosh. I just got... She will. I got the... How those Yankees do, Woods? Really? See the Phils last night? Oh, my gosh. I'll try and keep the peace. Please. I'll try. Please. I'll have a baby by then. I'll be like, so baby. Oh, my gosh. Don't poke the tiger. No. Don't. We'll get you on the news. Not over Indy football or the Yanks. I'll be with you on Indy football. Good. So... Man, the news out of Nashville with that flood is crazy, man. That flood is bad. Still? Dude, well, just the damage. The damage, okay. The damage, you know, what they're dealing with now and what's going to cost us and all that stuff. I mean, it's really a bad situation there. We saw all the video of the stadium underwater and just all of downtown Nashville. Who it's affected. The mayor, we announced yesterday, the mayor said it was going to cost over a billion dollars worth of damage. That's a lot. Nuts. But some of the country artists have come out and spoken out, like Kenny Chesney, who his house was hit by the storm. Crazy. I mean, he said he was out of town. He came home. His home was engulfed in water, rising past the first floor. His gym was ruined. His collection of sports memorabilia destroyed.

42:19Unbelievable. I mean, it's just bad. Keith Urban, he had a storage with all of his sound, like where his sound check facility was, almost completely submerged with water. Lost all of his road equipment, all of his guitars, amps, everything. Same with Brad Paisley, Dierks Bentley. I mean, it's just like all of these guys just lost. I mean, I'm sure they can buy more. It's where they're all located. Well, that's what our overnight guy, Jesse, was talking about. Just all the studio space and instruments of all these record labels and everything. I mean, Nashville is a huge churning of industry of music there. Yeah, that's pretty bad. And it's going to cost our government a lot of money because they've got to do something to help out. Well, at least we have a lot of money, so perfect. At least we're in really good financial shape right now. Yeah. Those are as good as money, Lauren. You might want to hold on to that one. It's gnarly. Let's see. Oh, what's the deal? Okay, so the guy that reported the car that was smoking in Times Square is a street vendor. And he basically is the guy that helped all of us. He did. He absolutely did. He sells purses. How's he doing?

43:28He's doing fantastic since Saturday. Because, I mean, he's, you know, a household name right now. He's a hero. Yeah, he's a hero. He saved a lot of lives. And so people have gone to check him out. They want his autograph, take pictures with him, handshakes. And he says his sales have risen 30% since this last weekend. And he said he even got a phone call from Obama. That's killer. I know it. That's very cool. Thank you very much. He's stoked. Let's see. You guys want to hear a little bit from the Urban Survivor? You know it. You want to know what's going on with the Urban Survivor? I'm Mikey Grylls. I've never been a member of the British Special Forces. I barely got out of high school with a GED, and I've got no experience except for telling jokes on the radio. I will try to survive in urban situations using nothing but the company's credit card, a car, an ice one at that, my wallet, and whatever things I can find on the internet. You're listening to Urban Survival. I'm standing in front of a local drugstore. I'm cold, a bit tired, and I haven't slept for over 30 minutes, nor have I eaten. Drugstores are a great place to rummage around and try to find things to survive. Once, a teenage group came into a drugstore and could only find 14 pounds of candy. It only lasted them three months before they became famished and had to feast on each other.

44:57This could happen to you. This is no place to mess around. I'm going to go into the drugstore now and see what I can find. I'm standing in the middle of aisle 12. There's a lot of alcohol here. If I had a penchant for drinking alcohol, there would be plenty of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels. But right now, the point is rest and food. What's your name? Debbie. Debbie, how are you today? I'm great. How are you? I'm good. Would you say that I'm more of a skipper or a Gilligan? A Gilligan. Wow, that was really kind. I thought I was definitely chubby enough to qualify as the skipper, but thank you. I've got a question for you. You've got all kinds of things here in this drugstore. Do you have a Marriott Suites where I could actually lay down and take a nap? No. Do you have an indoor shower, jacuzzi, or spa? No. Do you have a masseuse that could rub out the knots? We could probably find one. Let me ask you a question. If I haven't slept...

45:55for over 45 minutes, is there anything in here that I could take, some sort of Somonex, anything like that, that can give me rest? Sure. What aisle? 22. Once, while trapped on aisle 22, I was trying to find rest, and mistakenly, I took Exlax instead of Somonex. Bad move. If this ever happens to you, rush to a cabana as soon as possible. I'm standing outside of the drugstore now. In my haste, all I was able to grab was some SPF 15 suntan lotion, some Swisher Sweet cigars, and some hair conditioner. Stupid. I'm so stupid. Until next time, I'm the Urban Survivor. Wow. Wow. It's tough. Surviving in a CVS. It's pretty tough.

46:49They have everything you can possibly. They have everything. They have tents. They have water. Of course. Besides Marriott's. Did you mean baños or what is it for bathroom instead of cabana? Cabana. Cabano. Why would I rush to a cabano? I don't know. Of a jacquiri? Rush to a cabano? Amazing. I don't even know what it is. I'm the only Mexican that can't say bathroom in Spanish. It's baño. Doesn't everybody know that? How to say the bathroom? You would think. It's kind of mandatory. Yeah, it is. Especially because even here, anywhere you go, it says baño on it as well. It's ridiculous. Hey, what is the deal with the DMV employees that got arrested? And is this California or where was it? Yeah, Southern California. Four employees from the DMV were arrested. Yeah, this is pretty bad. There was a scheme apparently. They were all working together in different DMVs and they were issuing false driver's licenses and titles for people including people that were undocumented just to get money. Really? Yeah, people were paying them a lot of money. They were getting between $350 to $6,000 for each. DMV works pretty slow too.

47:57I had to re-get my tags for my car, and I ordered them again about three weeks ago. It still hasn't come in. Weird. It takes a while. Oh, yeah. I've heard that, because I need to go get new stickers for my car because I moved from Texas, or if somebody knows what I need to do, please email me because I don't know. You have to register your car. Yeah, I don't want to do it. I know. Because my registration's almost up, and I just really don't want to. I don't blame you. I've heard the DMVs here are like the devil's palace. I heard the weights are like... Four hours. If I make a recommendation, that's it. You can make an appointment. Oh, absolutely. It'll help. Fortunately, our job, if you go on a Tuesday or something, you'll go at a time where not a lot of people can go. By the way, Woods, tell the story about your too comfortable waitress. Oh, my God. This was funny, man. Funny, but crazy, but... So we have a new, there's a new thing that apparently exists out there, and it's the all-too-comfortable waitress. Oh, I know that one. And I don't mean sitting down at the table while she takes your order and, you know, visiting with you, because I like good conversation. I'm kind of a chatterbox. Right. But she sits down. Oh, no, she doesn't sit down. We were eating at a place yesterday, kind of by our house. Delicious food. Amazing. I eat about 95% of what's on my plate. Weird. Weird. And I'm sitting back.

49:19And I'm rubbing the belly. Rub the booty belly. And she walks in and she goes, that's really good, isn't it? And I was like, it's so good. I'm so full. And she goes, this is like the best place to come after you smoke a bowl. And you can like feast. And like you just get really stoned and you just eat. I've done it like a hundred times. And I'm sitting and my wife and I are looking at each other. And I mean, I'm looking at her and I'm not a pot smoker. And I look at Jamie and we're both like. Yeah, yeah, for sure. She felt comfortable enough to be able to relate with you. She really felt comfortable. In fact, I'm so high right now. Did you have a belt tied around your arm when you were sitting there? I was cooking up my spoon. Right. What made her that comfortable? I don't know. Do you have red eyes? Do I look? I think it's the stache. I don't think you look like a stache. He's growing out the mustache. Yeah, well, it's M1 May Monday, right? Or M1 May Mustache March. What did you just say? It's M1 May. It's meagly, me doodle, me mammy. What? It's Mammogram Monday. Thank goodness. It's the mandatory M1 Mustache May. What?

50:26Mike, you're so awful. So he's growing out that stache. It's awful. Yeah. Can I just say, if you can grow out a mustache, do it and come to our meet and greet because we're going to hook up a prize next Friday. You have to shave the beard part. I've never been able to grow a beard either, so I'm going to let it flow and see what happens. No way. Point is just a mustache, right? Just the stache. Isn't it just the stache? Yeah, but I wanted to get it filled in a little bit so it didn't look like dirt. Oh, I don't know. I like it. It's crustache, yeah. It is very crustache. And he's growing out his hair, too, on his head. It's making me want to. shave my goatee off just to grow the stash. Rebecca said you can't. No, you're not allowed. My wife said she wouldn't really think it was that sexy. It's mustache May. That is hard to say. Mustache May. I want a candle bar, but I can't do it because this won't connect. So it's going to be perfect. How come some people don't have the connector? Genetics. Kim just noticed yesterday that I shaved. She looked at me. I shaved while I was on my surf trip. I shaved. I had the mustache and the Colonel Sanders beard. She looked at me yesterday and she goes, Hey, where'd your beard go? I was like, thanks, honey. Thanks for recognizing me. She's been with you so long, she's got a mental picture of you in her head already. That's fantastic. That's hilarious. That was pretty drastic, too. That was huge. I looked like Colonel Sanders. I just kept trying to sell her a bucket of chicken. Hey, by the way, the new airport security scanners are causing some problems. Oh, just wait. Wow, that music. Wait till you hear this.

51:56Look at Lauren picking the music today. Good stuff. Little Zeppelin. Little House of the Holy. Nice. Oh, by the way, we had Sienna do a Mother's Day edition of the Little Wiz Pop Quiz. I can't wait. You can't either. And we're going to be doing that coming up. So don't go away. Make some noise in here. We got a live studio dance on Friday. Be right back. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Ombac and Miller Lite declare that summer begins May 15th at the Ombac 57th Annual Coming Out Party. Starring Revolution, Cowboy Mouth, Fishbone, and more. Music, beer, and the Miss Mission Beach Contest. $10 presale, $15 at the gate. So get to OMBAC.org to get your ticket to drink on the beach.

52:59See Bikinis at Rock to Revolution. Seven live bands, bikinis, and beer on the beach for $10. Go to ombac.org. That's O-M-B-A-C dot O-R-G. If you're looking to replace an appliance, stop by Lowe's today to qualify for your state cash for appliances rebate. Now available in California on qualifying Energy Star products. And from May 5th through May 17th. Take 10% off Energy Star major appliances priced $397 or more. Some restrictions apply. Ballot in U.S. only. See store for details. State rebates subject to available state funds and compliance with state requirements. Lowe's. Let's build something together. Need some great rest and relaxation? Make your next getaway to Palm Springs, California. In just a short drive, you can be teeing off on one of 118 golf courses surrounded by amazing mountain views. Or you can just hang out poolside under the palm trees without a care in the world. With rates up to 40% off, why wouldn't you make your next getaway to Palm Springs? Go to pshotdeals.com to find great deals at hotels like Hyatt Grand Champions Resort Villas and Spa.

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55:16Maybe your parents aren't getting you a Volkswagen, but you will still be able to get a great deal for yourself on any new or certified pre-loved Volkswagen at Classic VW in the Escondido Auto Park or on the web at ClassicVW.com. Ratings as of 42810. Mother's Day is this Sunday, and Pro Flowers is offering an amazing Mother's Day special. A beautiful bouquet of one dozen stunning roses bursting with spring colors for just $19.99, plus a free glass vase with every order. Just visit proflowers.com, click on the microphone in the upper right corner, and enter the secret code 1188. These one dozen gorgeous Mother's Day roses are the perfect way to show all the moms in your life how much you appreciate them. Moms love flowers, and she'll love these colorful spring roses guaranteed to stay beautiful for at least seven full days. Plus, get a free glass vase with every order, all for just $19.99. But hurry, this special offer ends Friday. Mother's Day is this Sunday, and it's your last chance to take care of mom. The only way you can get your last chance Mother's Day offer is to visit proflowers.com. Click on the microphone in the upper right corner and enter the secret code 1188. That's proflowers.com's secret code 1188. We all have our own way of saying welcome. We shake hands. We bake pies. We high five.

56:38From Lake Elsinore to La Jolla to Anaheim to Port Hueneme, Wachovia is now Wells Fargo in Southern California. And we'd like to welcome everybody in our own way. With more bank locations, more ATMs, more online capabilities, and great customer service. With the promise of strength and stability that goes back over 150 years. Welcome means we're with you in more ways to help you reach your financial goals. It means taking the time to get to know you. to understand your financial situation. Welcome means working with you to be a part of the community. So stop by Wells Fargo today. We'll shake hands, maybe high-five, and have a talk about your financial goals. Welcome to Wells Fargo. Together we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. AT&T presents a fish story. David had always wanted a spectacular aquarium, but at the pet shop... A conundrum emerged. He couldn't buy a lionfish for fear it would eat the anglerfish. He couldn't buy an anglerfish for fear it would eat the clownfish. And he couldn't buy a clownfish because, well, he didn't want a clownfish. So David turned to his AT&T phone and the nation's fastest 3G network to quickly find a variety of fish whose taste did not include one another. And later at the register, David thought to himself, Tonight, friends, fish is off the menu.

58:00Get the answers you need on the nation's fastest 3G network. AT&T. Rethink possible. Come in now and save 50% on the hottest new quick messaging phones. Like the Samsung Strive for just $19.99 after mailing rebate. Only on AT&T. The fastest 3G network in San Diego. 3G not available in all areas. 50% off claim based on after-rebate price with two-year agreement. Pay $69.99 and after mail-in rebate receive a $50 AT&T promotion card. Two-year wireless service agreement with voice plan and minimum $20 monthly data plan required. Certain geographic, other monthly charges and restrictions apply. See store for details. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report is brought to you by Turtle Wax. Make sure your car's ready for spring for a limited time. Find great deals on select Turtle Wax ice care car products at your favorite retailer. Plus, you'll get awesome car care tips at TurtleWax.com. Turtle Wax, making life shine. On the 67 northbound after Prospect Avenue, there's a car that's stuck in the number two lane, starting to back things up in the area. Also, southbound 125 before Navajo Road. Be careful, there's a ladder in the number two lane. And the 125 southbound before the 905, a pickup truck stuck again in the slow lane, starting to cause a backup. This report also brought to you by Carro's. At Carro's, your favorite mile-high breakfast now comes with all-you-can-eat pancakes before 11 a.m.

59:22So satisfy that mile-high appetite with a mile-high value only at Kara's. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Let's make some noise in here on the live studio audience that we have in here. Mikey Show backstage pass for a few people that are in the studio this morning. Also, by the way, I want to remind you about something that's going to be going on tomorrow night. Local band called Circa Now. They're having a CD release party tomorrow on the rooftop of the 10th Avenue Theater. And it's 21 and up, 15 bucks to get in. And that'll give you a copy of their new CD, too. So check it out. It's going to be very cool. It's the Mikey Show. It's me.

1:00:38It's Woodsy. It's Lauren O'Brien. It's Sienna. And it's Jay. That's who makes up the Mikey Show. And it's you, the M1 Nation. M1s are Mikey Show listeners. And it's growing every single day. You don't believe us? Go to Facebook.com and just type in the Mikey Show. And you will see that our fan page is growing by leaps and bounds every single day. If you want to be a part of the movement in the M1 Nation, just get on there and click the like button. And you will instantly become a fan. You can call us 570-1949. You can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. New airport security. They have these scanners. These things creep me out because you can see your entire private parts of your body. But apparently there's like one person that's looking at the screen. Woodsy's like, who cares? It's like going to a doctor. Right? As long as you're not embarrassed about what you're packing, you should be okay. Yeah, I mean, they can see everything through these scanners, but the people that check the screens are in another room, and apparently they can't see your face. So that's something to kind of give you a little ease, yeah, when you're walking through them. This story, I'm sorry, I think it's fantastic. I think it's fantastic. Oh, no. Happened in Miami. A TSA worker who works there, he usually, you know, checks the screen, but for whatever reason, he needed to walk through the scanner. This guy, you know, a couple...

1:01:59A couple pounds overweight. Yeah. Just does a little stroll through. His buddy, checking the screen, decides to call all the other employees over. Of course. You see? You see? You see? Apparently, this guy had a very little piece. Okay, great. Nice. I was in the pool. I was in the pool. I'd rather be called Little Boots. Little Boots. Everyone, I mean, he was getting it. You know, from everyone, like, oh, look at that tiny thing. Forever. For him his entire time working there. Of course. Okay, the bad part, this is what I feel kind of bad for him. He snapped and freaked out and started attacking the guy who saw it on the screen. He was arrested, the guy with the small piece, and taken to jail. He was the guy that got arrested? Yeah, because he attacked them. No, you can't. Oh, yeah. That is ridiculous. So this x-ray revealed his little... And coworkers are making fun of him on a daily basis. So what do they say? Hey, look who's here. Tiny. Yeah. What's up, Tiny? How long is it going to be before that turns into, well, we've got to make some changes and blah, blah, blah. You know what I mean? Like one bad apple. And yeah, it's going to be like a well-endowed woman going to walk through and they're going to be like, dude. Of course. Check this out. They don't just run in the family. They gallop. They gallop.

1:03:17Can you imagine if I was the guy that got to decide who had to go through the screeners? Send her through a couple more times. Just the ladies. Woods, you have a 100% rate of all big-breasted blonde women. How's that possible? They're the most suspicious. You're going to be like a roadie. It's out there looking for the good-looking girls. Well, do you know you need to screen the guys, too, my friends? Yeah, not so much. You know, every guy looked clean to me. Yeah, they look good. I'm a little suspicious of most of those blondes. You never know what's going on. Why don't we do a little of this? Mother's Day on Sunday. This is my favorite song. I'm so happy. It was on the news, you know. Yeah, that's right. longest intro ever. I love it though. It's like Stairway to Heaven. It makes Mikey nervous because it's so long. It's a hundred and I wrote it. It's a hundred years long. It's the hundred year song. It's Stairway to Heaven. It is. It's such a jam. It might as well start out by going, you know what I mean? It really is. Walking to kids is gold.

1:05:05So the little whiz pop quiz, the idea is that we send Sienna out and she talks to the little ones because she's like the kid whisperer. She is. It's hysterical. Why do kids love you so much? I don't know. I just, not all of them do. Some of them are scared. I interviewed one little girl who wanted nothing to do with me yesterday. Really? Yeah, she was terrified. But I think now, especially that I'm pregnant, they're like, oh, she must be nice. That's cool. Well, it was a Mother's Day theme. What's your name? What's your name? Max. And how old are you guys? Five. I'm five, too. Woo! That's so cute. Kindergarten. I'm in French class. You're in French class? Oh, my gosh. See, I thought he said fence. Fence class? I was like, wow. Wow, man, aren't you something. He learned to French so early. French class? French kindergarten. Can you say something in French? Bonjour.

1:06:02Bon Jovi. Oh, that's so sweet. Bon Jovi. How old did he seem? They're five. Both of them are five. And in French class? That's awesome. Bonjour. I didn't know what French bread was when I was five years old, dude. Didn't you? Yes, you did. You know you did. You knew what French bread pizza was. Yeah. You knew what French fries were, Mike. French toast. Angelata. Frenchelata. Frenchelata. Pretty good. If you had a million dollars. and you could get your mom anything for Mother's Day, what would you get her? I would buy her a huge beach. You would buy her a beach? Nice. I would get the chocolate and the strawberries. And? Is this in La Jolla? You know that. I do have a million dollars, and I did buy her a beach. That's right. You know? You got a million dollars. You got a million dollars. You're going to be a good husband one day. Yeah. Are you going to have a baby? Can you tell? Yes. Yes, I am. This is my first Mother's Day. Do you have any advice for me on my first Mother's Day? What should my husband get me? They just say no. No? No, so what do you like, Mother's Day? What do I look like? Yeah, what am I, Answer Man? What am I, your OBGYN? Who am I, Okra Winfrey? Yeah, exactly. Pretzels? That's what Todd should get me. Pretzels. Pretzels? Yeah. Yeah, not bad.

1:07:27Do you know why do we celebrate Mother's Day? Do you know why? So we could show up our moms that they love us and that we love her too. I love you on the radio. You are, man. This is going to go on the radio. He said, I love this kid, Connor. You say? on the radio? I told him like five times he was going to be on the radio. He can't get enough of it. Yeah, he's like, can you give me a time and an air check on when I can get that? He wants to make it known that he's on the radio now. Yeah, can I get that MP3 email to me? Give me my email real quick. You got a pen? Everyone in San Diego something? Hello! Great. Great. What's the nicest thing your mom's ever done? Kissing me and hugging me all the time. We sleep in her bed. Oh, wow. You too? What's the nickname your mom calls you? Mac. Do they call you like Baby? Isn't his name Mac? Yeah, his name is Mac. Interesting nickname for a kid named Mac. So I had to give him a couple clues as to what a nickname was. Buddy. Not Baby. Not Baby, sorry. That's a meanie name. She calls the mailman. Here comes Connor again about the radio.

1:08:48Yeah, they're going to hear you. Okay. You want to tell them something else? Yeah. What is it? I have a lot of toys. Oh, my gosh. Oh, would you ever get... Is that bragging? Yeah. Would you consider that bragging? He's in La Jolla. I have a Bentley. Yeah. No, his favorite toys are Transformers. Real Transformers. Yeah, actual Transformers. They're nine feet tall and real. So I asked him if he would ever give his mom his Transformers. Transformers, because you love her. You don't love your mom that much so you could give her your Transformers? I don't want to give her my... Okay. I'm giving my mom diamonds and emeralds. Do you know what diamonds and emeralds are? Now, when your mom gets mad at you, what does she say? Max, go in a timeout chair. I'm sorry? Go in a timeout chair. Max, go in a timeout chair. Max, crawl into your electric chair. You're in timeout. Go in the timeout chair. What does your mom say? Can you please leave? What is your favorite thing that your mom makes you teach? My mom said that too. I was 17. I ran up the phone bill for the 80th time. And I don't blame her. Talking to some girl. So get out. Hey, it's Mike. Brownies and chocolate chip cookies and cake. What is he talking about with that? That's his favorite thing his mom makes him. Crazy. Do you think she'll make me some?

1:10:18Which is a good cooker. That's so great. Melts my heart. All that stuff that they mention that their mom makes them. My mom made them. A lot. I was waiting for that. I love it. I love it. Our phone number here is 570-1949. If you want to give us a call, you can also text us. 949mikey at gmail.com. Last night on, was it Jimmy Kimmel? No, it wasn't Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon. Last night on Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy had this to say about Lady Gaga. Did you guys watch American Idol? Last night on the show, Lady Gaga performed while wearing a fishnet and lace costume. You might think that sounds tame for Lady Gaga, but the fishnet still had fish in it. Lady Gaga wore a fishnet and lace costume. When he got to the studio and saw her, Ryan Seacrest was like, well, I guess I got to go home and change. You know, I used to date Lady Gaga's mother. Oh, did you? Yeah, I did. Neil. Yeah, I did. Where you been, pal? Where have I been? I'll tell you where I've been. I've been in New York City listening to Lady Gargoyle. Who's Lady Gargoyle? Lady Gaga. I call her Gaga. I call her Gargoyle. You guys are tight like that.

1:11:44Yeah, by the way, I've realized something, Mickey Show. Can I talk to you about something? Yeah, it's called the Mickey Show, yeah. That's what I said, I thought. No, no, you didn't. I'm not getting any younger. That's true. All right? I'm going to be very honest with you. I'm not getting any younger. In fact, this broads my ticket back. Trust me. I'm going to hitch my star to that tiny little butt of hers, and I'm going to take it all the way to the top. You should. Lady Gaga? What is it? Gaga. Lady Gaga. Let me tell you something about her. Any of you Froot Loops going to get serious for a second? I'm trying to talk to you. If you just get her name right, then maybe we'll take it seriously. I thought I did get her name right. You told me what it was. Lady Gaga. You sit there and wag your tails like a bunch of puppies? Listen to me. Bunch of imbeciles. You work for a radio station for Crying Out Loud and you don't know anything about music? I heard you rambling earlier. Did I just say rambling? I don't know what you said. Sorry, I took a couple of Vicodins because I'm not feeling well. Weird. You're 90 years old. I know. That's cold medicine, right? Vicodin? Yes, cold medicine. Sure it is. Might as well be. Had a scratchy throat, took some Vicodin this morning. There you go. That should be fine. But all you people were talking about Brandy Sears, right? The singer. Britney Spears. Britney Spears, Lady Gaga. They got together. They did a song together, right? No. And the song was called Poker Face.

1:12:59Was that the name of the song? Yes. Telephone, Poker Face. They each recorded two separate versions of Telephone. Yeah, you want to hear me sing the... I actually wrote the song. You wrote Poker Face. I actually wrote it. I was the first person to do it. Stupid song. It was a joke. They paid me $4 million for it. That's not a bad day's pay. I wrote it back in the 70s. I wouldn't have used this toilet tissue, but I'm going to be honest with you. It's my song. I coined the phrase... Poker Face. Really? Coined it back in the 70s. The 1870s. Yeah, I think so. Really? Is it going to be like that, Woods? Let me tell you about Woody, our boy over here. Woody? First of all, that song Poker Face, everybody looks confused in here. It's like we're at a Toby Keith concert. This is you and talking about Lady Gaga is a little weird. Woody, do you even know how to play poker? Yeah, I know how to play poker. Really? Texas Hold'em. You know how to play that? Yeah. You're Nancy. Let me ask you a question. You ever played a game of cards besides go fishing your entire life? Yes, I have. Tell me the truth. Play poker. Old maid. I play poker. Let me ask you something. Any of you tweakers ever been in the army? We're not tweakers. Have you? No, I haven't. What's the point? Bunch of salad spinners. What? Bunch of salad spinners. Pop, pop, pop, poke her face. Pop, pop, poke her face. You see, I wrote it.

1:14:25Let's hear it. I just did it. That proves it. That was it? We can all do that. I think Mike may have some Oreos. I'm sure he does. Pudgy Mexican. We're crying out loud. You don't think that I know how to sing Poker Face? I guarantee you that I wrote the song. In fact... In fact... Send me that music again. I'm going to give you some of the poker face music. Two weeks ago, I had a conversation. I had a conversation with Lady Cock and myself. We were sitting in a hotel room. Lady Gaga, okay. That's what I said, I thought. No, Gaga. And I said to her, listen, sweetheart. If Nashville wasn't underwater right now, I'd take you over there. We'd record an album. Oh, too soon. She had no idea what I was talking about. No. Listen, I'm going to make you a deal. If we can get...

1:15:23Brandi Spears. That's her name, right? Britney Spears. If we can get Brandi Spears over here in the next couple of minutes to do shots with me, I'll show you the original recordings that I had of the Lady Gaga song, all right? Okay. But we got to get her in the next couple of minutes. I have her cell phone number. Jay can get her. Jay can get anybody. Get her on the phone. Dude, is this... Is that DJ Jazzy, Jeff? You know, this is the greatest song. I thought maybe if I played it, we'd get early into summertime. I like it. I love it. Let me tell you something. Have you heard about the kids that were called to the principal's office for something that they did on Cinco de Mayo? You heard this story? Oh, it's everywhere. It's crazy. And I'm going to eat cantaloupe. Yeah! Got it right here. I'm going to eat cantaloupe coming up next. And then I got to read what Woods wrote in his recap about the conversation that you had for Fenwick about asking girls out. This is great. It's all coming up next on the way. For a few minutes while I educate your butt. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey show now. How are these levels, friends? Call 570-1949. Or text.

1:16:58949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. You've been to the parties. Now. Circa Now's CD release event. Tomorrow night. We've top of the 10th Avenue Theater downtown. Photography, DJs, fashion, and video art with the San Diego skyline as a backdrop. 21 and over. Admission is $15 and includes a copy of Circa Now's new CD, Hotter Than a Pistol. Oh, baby, I gotta be true. Do you remember when you used the dial-up to access the internet? Remember how slow that was? Thankfully, things have changed. And now you're doing more and more on the internet. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Deuce, the Huffington Post. You just couldn't do all of this with dial-up.

1:18:21And you know how some levels of DSL from the phone company aren't that much faster than dial-up? Here's the deal. If you want super fast internet without all the lag you get with DSL, switch to Earthlink from Time Warner Cable. See, Time Warner Cable has this advanced fiber network. So with it, Earthlink is 13 times faster than DSL. 13 times. That's huge. Seriously, getting Earthlink for your internet service is such a no-brainer. Pick up the phone and call them 1-800-CABLE-TV to get Earthlink from Time Warner Cable for only $36.95 a month. That's 1-800-CABLE-TV or go to timewarnercable.com anytime. Some restrictions apply. The Aztec calendar has his Cinco de Mayo party chiseled in. The front of his house looks like it was built by the Mayans. Because it was. The contents of his tacos refuse to fall from the shell. He can open a piñata. with a wink and a smile. If you were to see him walking a chihuahua, it would still look masculine. Several saints share his likeness, or vice versa, depending on who you ask. Dicing onions doesn't make him cry. It only makes him stronger. He has never filled up on chips. Interesting man in the world. Always drink beer, when I do, for Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York.

1:20:01Mother's Day is this Sunday and Pro Flowers is offering an amazing Mother's Day special. A beautiful bouquet of one dozen stunning roses bursting with spring colors for just $19.99. Plus a free glass vase with every order. Just visit proflowers.com, click on the microphone in the upper right corner, and enter the secret code 1188. These one dozen gorgeous Mother's Day roses are the perfect way to show all the moms in your life how much you appreciate them. Moms love flowers, and she'll love these colorful spring roses guaranteed to stay beautiful for at least seven full days. Plus, get a free glass vase with every order, all for just $19.99. But hurry, this special offer ends Friday. Mother's Day is this Sunday, and it's your last chance to take care of mom. The only way you can get your last chance Mother's Day offer is to visit proflowers.com. Click on the microphone in the upper right corner and enter the secret code 1188. That's proflowers.com's secret code 1188. We begin in a world of consumer banking needs, but travel to another dimension. A dimension of secure, fast, and easy ways to make deposits through ATMs.

1:21:10of no longer having to fill out deposit slips or use envelopes. You've just crossed over into the Chase Zone. Uh, did you just put that check directly into the ATM? Yep. No deposit slips, no envelopes? No need. Whoa, you just stuck a bunch of 20s in there. What is wrong with you? Me? I'm not the one feeding the ATM like a hungry Sasquatch. Sasquatch? Really? I don't know. It's Chase Deposit-Friendly ATMs. Deposit checks and bills. And it shows you a picture of the checks on the screen and on your receipt. Wow, ATM machines that practically read your mind. My bank doesn't have that. Chase does. Chase now has ATMs that let you securely deposit up to 30 checks and 50 bills at a time with hardly any effort. Just slide them in. They take care of the rest. That's what happens when you step into the Chase Zone. Deposits are subject to the fund's availability policy. See a banker for details. J.P. Morgan Chase Bank N.A. Member FDIC. The Home Depot has low prices on hanging baskets and container plants. There's a fresh idea for Mother's Day. Fresh blooming flowers that will last all season long. So you can fill mom's heart with joy and her garden with color. All without emptying your pockets. Thanks to those vibrant hanging baskets and container plants that you picked up for such a great low price at the Home Depot. More saving. More doing. That's the power of the Home Depot.

1:22:30Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report is brought to you by the Port of San Diego. Enjoy Zydeco music, Creole food, and Gator by the Bay this week at Spanish Landing. For more information about the New Orleans experience, check out thebigbay.com. On the 15 southbound, coming through Escondido right before Old 395 Highway, we've got a big piece of metal. It's in the number two lane. And the 805 northbound between Home Avenue, El Cajon Boulevard, a little slow this morning. You're looking at speeds in the lower 20s. Heading over to the Coronado Bridge westbound between the 5 Nantol Plaza, pretty slow. this morning we're looking at speeds in the 20s right now this report also brought to you by usaa banking as mobile as you are usaa mobile banking visit usaa banking.com to learn more i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 it's time for the fm 94.9 authentic surf report what's happening this is bird from dragon eyewear with the fm 94.9 authentic surf report for a friday morning being brought to you by guayaki urbamake

1:23:42And Guayaquil and Jimbo's Naturally Market, they're teaming up to give you a great opportunity to win a custom-built Rusty surfboard. So stop by those locations, try the Guayaquil product, sign up for a raffle to win a custom-built Rusty. Today we're looking at some custom-built surf out there for us. We've got some decent waves out there from a dominant southwesterly swell that's holding fairly steadily as a weaker west-northwest windswell cross is backing up a bit. That means top open areas are seeing set waves in that chest-to-overhead range. Inconsistent to be sure, and only at a few select areas that are most open to that southwest swell direction. You'll find most of the size as you head further up north from Oceanside up to Trestles and so forth, and then further up to Newport. Locally, though, a lot of places have ways in the ways of chest, shoulder, high zones, so still looking fairly fine. A bit walled up, a bit inconsistent, but not a bad way to start towards the end of the weekend here. or start into the weekend. We've got sunny skies for the most part and light and variable winds, but primarily clean and offshore, so it's looking like a fun morning for a go-out. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com, and for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops, five locations, or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaquil, and it can only be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.

1:25:09To the Mikey Show. Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Sienna. Every time I go to the grocery store, I know someone practically in every aisle. Woods. The best movie ever made. Footloose. Lauren. I have to admit, I like partying in the USA. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. This is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Live studio audience in here. Got some M1s. in the studio with us today. And if you want to call us, you can. 570-1949 is our number. And Lauren, very graciously, let me have some wasabi peas right now. I say graciously because... There's a cantaloupe. I gotta eat cantaloupe. What is cantaloupe? Like, when was the last time you had it? I was a child. You're kidding. Oh, yeah, I was a child. What is it?

1:26:17What do you remember it tasting like? You may fall in love with it. I think he's going to love it. I think you're going to like it. No way. It's not as bad as you think it is. Ew, yes it is. It's delicious. I think that the chances of that are impossible. Do you hear me stuttering? I am because I'm nervous. Would you? My heart's right now. My heart is pounding. Would you rather wear human skin than eat that? A hundred. What? Let me tell you something. I would wear a hundred percent. Oh my gosh. What's he doing in a kimono? I would rather eat a turd-wrapped bad apple than that kernel. I hate the smell of it. I hate everything about it. Take it easy with the precious cantaloupe, guys. It's so delicious. I think what we should do is I should mash it up and then make him drink the juice in the stomach.

1:27:21Would that be better? We'll spoon feed it to you. Should I put it in a cup? Like baby food. No, he needs to bite down and experience the texture. Ew. You're the meanest. Are you ready? You want me to feed it to you? Don't feed it to him. That's weird. I'm coming around. You want me to have a fork? No, you don't feed it. I'm not going to feed it to you. You're not feeding it to him. I'll feed it to you, bro. I'm just going to make sure you get a real good one. I have a spoon. I'm going to make sure you get a real good one, pal. Give him a spoon. You ready? Just take a smell first. No. How do I? Oh, gross. I just smelled the gross. Oh, it smells spoiled. It's not. Here we go. You got a little spoon full of water. No, no, no. Don't. Put it back. Put it back. What? Don't. Mikey, what's in the table? He's like spilling juice all over the table. The canop is in little, like, little chunks, pieces.

1:28:19Turn into the webcam. Tune into the webcam right now. Wait, wait, wait. Put it back. Put it back. Put it back. Is the webcam pointed on Mike? He's making me so nervous and anxious and upset. Can we turn that day or is that day going to fall? Okay. If you want to watch this, MikeyShow.com. Put it down. Put it down. Please. You can watch. Oh, Mike. We need to have some serious... You're acting like a child. Go back around. We have to have conversations. We have to have rules of engagement. Did you have nightmares last night? Yes, dude. About cantaloupe? I'm not kidding you. Come on, Pete. You can't crowd him. Come on, Pete. You can do this. I have questions. Okay. We have to understand how much of this I have to consume. Three pieces. Three pieces. Mike, that is good. Rule of three, pal. Yeah, rule of three. One at a time. It's good for you. You can't just shove it all in there. One at a time. And then when I'm done eating it. You can't spit it out. You can't spit it out. You can't retch or vomit. You can't chase it with anything. That's what I want to ask. You can at the break. At the break? You don't drink on the air, dude. You know that. You can take a three minute break. That's not cruel. We don't think that's cruel. We don't think that's cruel. We don't think that's cruel.

1:29:39Or unusual? After the third piece, you have to wait three minutes. No, you can just drink. Okay, can I ask you this? Three minutes. After I eat the third piece of cut up cantaloupe. You can wait three minutes. That orange, hideous, slimy. Delicious. Texture of a... From heaven, an angel. After I eat the third piece, can I have wasabi? No. After three minutes. After three minutes. After three minutes. You have to... You got to let the cantaloupe film really attached to the roof of your mouth. You're so mean to me. You're so mean to me. The cantaloupe film. So, Mikey lost this bet yesterday. And Woods, if he lost, he was going to eat Indian food. Which you would have seen me vomit in the studio. No question. I can't wait until we get that bet going. Never. No. The bet was that... The bet was, I have my eyes closed. I know. You need to relax. He's sweating. I can see sweat glands on your nose. I think I could put the microphone to my chest and you would hear my heart beating, pounding right now. What was the bet? That Al Pacino and De Niro. Robert De Niro, their first time on screen at the same time together. And you swore it was Godfather. And you swore it was Godfather 2 because your dad was in it. Nurse. Mikey's dad had one line in the Godfather 2. And he said, nurse. Here, he's good. He's good. Do I get to decide the pieces? No. No. Just reach in. Just reach in, close your eyes, and grab a piece. The tiniest. That's the tiniest one. I'm so scared. The tiniest little piece. You can get that one, but you have to get a bigger one the second time. That's.

1:31:14Okay, he's looking at it. He's contemplating. Do I put this in my mouth? Don't just stare at it, pal. Eat it. He's staring at it. It's on the spoon. Okay, it's very... No, don't put it back in the bag, Mike. Okay, it's going towards his mouth. It's slowly going... There I go. Caterpillars move faster, bud. And... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so freaked out. I'm so freaked out. I'm so freaked out. $100 gets you out of this bet. Just do it. Pull off the band-aid. $100? No, no, no. Chris, $100 bill. You pay it. Okay, ready? One, two, three, go! It's in there! Oh, yes, yes! Oh, God! He's gonna throw up! He's spinning out! He can't spin it out! It's so good! He's hovering over the trash can right now. It's so good! He's gonna throw up. He might pee. You threw it away! It's so good!

1:32:13It's dribbling down his chin. He's not even kidding. He's getting the napkin to wipe his chin. I'm going to rat. It's so good. His lower lip is puckered out like a little girl. It's so good. That is so bad awful. You have two more to go, my friend. And one of them has to be big. What do you pick them? You pick them. They gross me out. Mike, it's not as bad as you thought. Oh, it's hideous. It's hideous. It tastes like it smells. It smells delicious. Like feet. If you mean delicious. It's like sugary. Oh my God. So if you go to webcam right now, you can see it. Woods got the biggest piece in the bag. We've got it turned on the webcam now. It doesn't even fit on the spoon. It was dribbling down my chin. Oh, my gosh. And you're a germaphobe. You know he hated it because he reached into a trash and got a dirty napkin. Oh, yeah. I didn't even care. Look at Woods. Force feeding him. Woods is going to be there. It's in. It's in. He's chewing. He's chewing. He's barking. He's spit it out. He's spit it out.

1:33:22It's so gross. I'll eat another one, but it's so gross. My mouth rejects it. My mouth rejects it. I think... Is it making you uncomfortable that he's force-feeding you? No, he likes it. Really? Like, basically, if you could be dude right now, it wouldn't be worse than me. No, he's doing the baby airplane. Open up. Okay, Mikey's chewing. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. His eyes are cringed. His mouth is wide open when he chews. Now he's bending over with his hands on his knees. One more piece. Oh, that's so bad. I'm going to let the guy off the hook. One more piece. No, no, no. You're not. You can't be calling audibles like this. No. A bet's a bet. One more. Just remember who your boy is. Woods, you were trying to get him to eat the whole bag. Dude, that's the biggest piece in there. Juicy. Juicy. I think some fell on the floor. You're almost done. Mike, you're two-thirds of the way done. You're so almost done.

1:34:26You've come this far. That piece is enormous. Oh, my gosh. He opened his mouth. It's in. He's chewing. Oh, keep it in. Keep it in. He faced the trash can like he was going to spit it out. Keep it in. Keep it in. Chew. Chew. Chew. He's bending over. His entire body is shaking. Is it in? It's still in. It's still in. He's still chewing. He looks like a little muskrat. Oh, it's dribbling. It's dribbling. Woods has just gone to take a couple handfuls to feed himself of kettle of. Oh. Ew. Mikey's purple. He's miserable. Delicious. Did you spit it out? No, I spit juice. I spit saliva. You're done, Mike. Oh, my gosh. You did it. Wow. Great job. Last time you ever bet the kid anything. I'm going to tell you something. It's good. I'll never be able to smell that smell. Really? Ew, I can smell it. Smell my hair. Ew, no, no, no. That from a guy who can eat menudo. I know, seriously. Yeah. Menudo. Menudo. He can have water now. I thought I was going to throw up. He's suffering. It smells like a trash can. I just felt like I was going to throw up. Eat a wasabi pee. Yeah, you want a wasabi pee? Yeah, we'll let you off the hook. Mikey just reached like easy. Oh, Mike, you missed the best part. Ready?

1:35:49Open the Ziploc bag to drink the juice. Delicious. Let it run down my chin, pal. Mike, there's a lot of really good nutritious things in cantaloupe, so think of it that way. So good for you. You probably just lost two pounds. From eating. He's going to lose two pounds later when he vomits. Do you think you can make it through? You know what's happening right now? You left your body? I'm talking my stomach into maintaining it. Did you have the water glands in the back? I had them for him. That was the filthiest experience. Delicious. It's over. You're done. Filthiest. Filthiest. How do people eat cantaloupe? It's amazing. I would eat a whole cantaloupe. Are you kidding me? Just slice after slice after slice. I did. This was the end of my entire cantaloupe. I ate every day. I had the whole thing. They should rename it mildewalope. Yeah. Mildewalope. Mold-a-lope. Mold-a-lope. Trash-a-lope. Trash-a-lope. That was filthy. Mm-mm. Filth-a-lope. Filth-a-lope. Do you have more wasabi peas? No, you ate them all. Oh, and let me tell you something. I'm so glad Montestas is here today. You do. Like, that will... A piece of a cookie? A good chunk? That will help so much. How about some honeydew? Ew, honeydew? That's so good. Oh, wow.

1:37:16I can't believe that's an edible fruit. Turtle oak. Oh, it's turtle oak. I thought you meant turtle like a shell. I'm like, what's a turtle? I want to try to find another way to bet so bad. Really? Because you want me to eat Indian food. But here's the difference in you and I. I want you to have vomit. I will vomit. Oh, dude, I'm telling you. Right now, this is what was happening in my head. I'm like, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? I'm like, I can't get sick on the radio. I can't get sick on the radio. And then I'm like, I think I have to run out of the room. I think I have to run out of the room. Don't run out of the room. Don't run out of the room. Stay here. It's so good. Come on, stomach. Come on, stomach. The texture. Like when it's something you don't like and you have to just. It's the juice. It's the trash juice. All right. Let's change the subject. No. I know. I feel like sick for you. I have the film on my teeth. This is actually a good lead into what we're going to be talking about with the woods in a second. I just ate wasabi peas, which are strong. If you don't know what wasabi peas are, it's like little horseradish hardened peas. Yeah, like freeze dried peas. Very, very strong. All I can taste is cannoli. And I just gobbled down three of those things. My mouth is still.

1:38:42making water. Would you like some raw almonds to compliment that? I might as well eat a Vidalia onion like an ass. Ew. Gross. So this is actually a good lead into Woodsy's story. In the studio with us today, we have Trey and Megan. Let's hear it for Trey and Megan. Trey and Megan, we're on the dating game. Let's have them come up to the microphone real quick because I just want to ask you guys a question because they're joining us today, hanging out. as we do our M1 backstage pass. And you guys were on the dating game. We did the dating game, and Megan actually chose you, Trey. So my question is, do you guys still talk? Do you guys still communicate? Up to the microphone. Yeah, I would say we do a little bit more than just... Whoa, yes! Really? They came in together. This is Valentine's Day. This is our Valentine's hookup. So February, we're almost on, what, three months later? See, I thought that you guys were here today because Jay had said, hey, let's have a kind of catch up and find out what's going on. You guys came together. I thought you guys may have traveled separately, and Jay wanted to get us and ask what the deal was. So you guys came together. I came and, yeah, picked her up this morning.

1:39:58You picked her up this morning. Sure you did. Wait, it's so... Wait, it's the other side of your bed. Yeah, exactly. Wake it up. We got to go to the Mikey. Yeah, babe, wake up. No, so let me... Okay, instead of me traveling through the story, you tell me what's happened since you guys met on the dating game here on the Mikey show back in February. What's happened? Babe, you want to... He's like, babe, you want to tell the story? No. Show her the ring. Megan. Megan, tell me what's happened. It's not like a story. I mean, we've been dating the whole time, which is super crazy. You have? Yeah. I had no idea. I didn't either. You guys have been dating the whole time? Almost three months. Have you guys Frenched? For real? They Frenched real good. Real sweetly. Should we do it right now? No! Yes! Yes! French. Megan, Megan, you guys really? You've been dating the whole time? How crazy is that? Does your relationship status on Facebook say, in a relationship? No, I looked at Megan's page. Don't get me started on that. I looked at Trey's. It says it's complicated. I just took that down, though. I took that down yesterday because she brought it up. She gave me junk words. I don't know what that even means.

1:41:17It means you won't commit. It's not complicated. It means you won't commit. It's not because she's single. Why am I not single? How many dates have you guys been on? If you like it, then you should have put a ring on. Yeah. How many dates? Sienna, they're dating. I don't know. We've lost count. Like maybe 20? More than that? Have we been dating since? All right. It's time to put in a relationship. Oh, my goodness. No. They're not exclusive, apparently. It's not like an automatic thing. Let me ask questions because you're obviously not going to give up the answers unless I... Sit here and grill you, which I will. I'm Mikey Grylls. I'm Mikey Grylls. I'm ready to grill you. Question number one. Let's catch the audience up on what happened after you guys came on the air and it was decided that you were going to go on a date with Trey. Where did you guys go? The first date? Very first. Pamplemousse? Pamplemousse? That's right. It's Pamplemousse Grill. Loved it. And then you guys. I remember that you guys were going to go on one more date. You were going to go on one more date. You had agreed that you were going to go. That's where I don't know anything after that. I don't even know how that next date went. It was cool. Do you even remember? Yeah, I remember. The next date, we went to the Belly Up Tavern. Oh, holler. And then we kind of hung out later after the night, went to a bar near her house. Oh, yeah. Second date, first kiss.

1:42:43Really? Okay, now, here's the question. So, obviously, you guys get along really well, right? Oh, yeah. You really enjoy one another's company. But they're, man, three months, three months dating, going on dates, that kind of deal, but no, you know, commitment. Right. It's complicated. It's just like an interrogation room. All of the personalities in the Mikey show are turned on them. We've got a camera on them. You know what? They're on the microphone. I just thought of something. Turn the lights down a little bit. Okay. It's too, it's too like, the mood is too, the mood is too harsh. Should we light some candles? Turn it down even more. Even more. Let's, yeah, let's make the mood, wait, I'll keep, I'll tell you when. What are you trying to do here? I thought this was like a PG-13 show. I'm trying to make it comfortable. Comfortable. I'm making it comfortable. The lights, right there. The lights were way too bright. The lights were too bright, and I feel that it was putting you under too much pressure. It feels a lot better. Now I can comfortably talk to you. Now I can comfortably talk to you. So it seems to me, it seems to me, like, and let's give everybody a description. So you're driving in your car, and you're saying, who are these two? Megan, how old are you? 24 in two weeks.

1:44:0424 in two weeks. So 23. Yes. Well, 23 and three quarters. Don't round up, Megan. Don't round up. Trey, how old are you? Hint, hint. The present needs to be coming. Hint, hint. Trey, how old are you? I'm 25. This is good. This is good. Trey's ripped, too, man. Yeah, yeah. You know that? Yeah, dude. Where you work out, bro? What about me? You didn't say anything. Megan is. I'm describing. Megan's working out, too. She's got two tickets to the gun shop. Megan, is it safe to say you're a redhead? Strawberry wine. Strawberry wine. My friends claim she's a redhead. That's what I thought. She's a beautiful girl. My friends are a-holes. I don't like them. Trey's a sharp cat. And so they're both a very attractive couple. They've gone on dates. Really enjoy each other's company. How come you guys are not? dating, like committed relationship. I guess we just never discussed it or like had that talk. Let's talk about it now. Oh my gosh. This isn't awkward. You knew when you came in here, this is what's going to happen. You knew, you knew, right? As soon as I said, can we talk to you? Okay, well, okay. Oh, so here's a question. Do you guys see other people? I don't know about her. I don't. That's great. That's great.

1:45:28I have to leave it? I do? You better stop that. I have to stop? Because you know I can keep going. Wait, have you met family members? We've met each other's mothers. I have a theory. What's going on, Woods? I think it was the CD that he gave her. I think it was the CD. How good is it? Okay, we've actually burned each other's CDs after that CD. Okay, well, how good was mine? His that he made later was better. Yes, yes, yes. Face woods. So, probably like all hip-hop and like slow jam. How often do you guys hang out? I'd say we probably see each other on average twice a week. Yeah. We live kind of far away. It's a good 40-minute drive. I live in Macosta. She's in Poway, so. Excuses, excuses. You guys are both young. You keep it casual and real fun. I think it works out pretty well. Maybe knock it up to three times a week. Do you guys email?

1:46:28Email. I don't know. How do you keep in contact? That's like saying, do we page each other? Mikey, we sext. We sext. We don't email. Morse code. Lauren, what do they do? How do people communicate these days? Call. Sext. You call. You call. You call one another. We call. We text. Hang out. They talk three times a week. They hang out. Twice a week. I have a question. See each other. If I were to go through you guys' phones, would you have saved texts from each other? I have her texts from, like, yesterday. But I delete my texts periodically. Wait, wait, wait. So there hasn't been, like, a really, like, aww text that you don't want to erase? I don't think so. Thank God. Are either of you two romantic types? Because every time Sienna says something or I say something, Megan gets this look on her face like, oh, gosh. Megan reminds me of myself a couple years ago. Sienna's not romantic. I'm not romantic, no. I sense the same thing I sensed with Lauren. Yeah. Practical. Oh, kind of, yeah. When I listen to you talk about, like, relationships and stuff, I think that I'm a lot. Yeah.

1:47:39You mean you don't buy a boyfriend's presents on Valentine's Day? Is that what you mean? Yes. You're ready, Trey. All right, you love birds. Well, I love catching up and finding out what's going on. I think they're playing a little cool right now. Grab his muscles. A little coy. It's not at all awkward or any pressure on them. See, for me, let me tell you. For me, I can ask questions. I need you guys to say to me, Mike. That's enough. Because I'll keep going and be like, so let's set a date for when you'll propose. They haven't had this talk with each other yet. So to have it in front of San Diego. They knew coming in that this was going to happen. Of course. I know I'm a pit bull when it comes to love. Yeah. Break that down. Break that down. Save it. Save it. He'll write it right in the palm of your hand. That's how much he loves you. Really? That's how much of a pit bull he is. Bring that up. One time I did it. One time too many. One time too many. I was a sophomore in high school. I wrote in a girl's hand. I thought it would be a cool move to write with my finger, write I love you in her palm of her hand. It just gave me the creep chills just reliving that story. It's a great move. It's the most awful thing in the world. All right, Trey and Megan, I love you too. You guys hang out. You guys are rad. Let's turn the lights back up. I couldn't break them. I couldn't break the code.

1:49:04I was like a CIA. Well, they met each other's moms. Operative. You know, that's a big time. That's a big time. It's a big time. I screamed. You what? I screamed when they said it. I know, right? It's a pretty big deal. Oh, my God. I think it's a pretty big deal. Chicken. Did you guys all get along with the moms and everything? Everything? That's good. I bet, is your mom saying, she's great. That's a great girl. You know what, though? What? She came over. Right after she got off work. Yeah. And you guys have seen me at work. Oh. She met the mom after work. Oh, yeah. Because you worked. At the strip club. Non-actual strip club. It's a restaurant. It's a restaurant called the strip club. And the reason it's called that is because they serve New York strip steak. It's like that kind of idea. It's one of the most modest things. No. It isn't. Now, did you go, sorry, I just got off work at the strip club. So, Trey, where does she work? Oh, the strip club. Oh. Perfect. Sounds great. Well, you should go to Megan's Facebook page. She's got the craziest photos all over her page. She's sniffing around her Facebook page. Hey, she's a friend of mine. We're friends. You old creep. Her profile photo is her, like, spinning around upside down in a pool or something. Go ahead. Dig yourself out of that one, Jay. Oh, it's not weird. Aren't you married?

1:50:25Really? Really was? Who picture were you showing me this morning on Facebook? Eject. Eject. You better eject. Now, wait a minute. You better eject. I know. I said eject for J. They're not weird. They're not weird like that. What do you mean weird, Jay? They're arty. They're arts. She's been around in a pool. That means nude. Yeah, what? She's fully clothed. No, I saw it. It's like a sheet in a pool. It's an underwater photo shoot with a sheet. It's cool. Yeah. Now, so the mom, so how did you explain the fishnets in the strip club? I was just trying to formally dress like this. Trey, why would you do that to her? I gave her the low down age. She's not a hooker. Right. She's not a hooker. That's fantastic. Mom, I know what you're thinking. Now, this leads us to the thing that Woodsy wrote in his recap, which was pretty cool. Woodsy says, his best friend Fenwick's in town, right? He's in town from Wichita. And they're grilling some steaks and stuff and hanging out. They're laughing all night long. They start talking about some of the girlfriends that they used to have because they've known each other forever. We have known each other since we were in seventh grade. And my first girlfriend, like then, I think I've said she looked like Patrick Ewing. She did, didn't she? Unibrow. Unibrow, Pat Ewing. And so they started talking about.

1:51:50how they used to ask girls out, which I thought was fantastic because it brings every guy back to when we were kids. Fenwick and I had a lot of girlfriends, like a lot of like the five-day bits, you know, the Wendy Gibbons of the world. I know, I had her for like a week. I had her. I didn't have her, but that was the thing. We were talking about it last night, dying. And how awkward it was. Oh, the worst. Well, here was the awkward part. The awkward part about it is we were just talking to people that are in their 20s and how awkward it is to have that conversation for them. And it would be awkward at 35 to have the conversation where you're dating somebody for a while. It's awkward to have a conversation where you go. So what are we? What are we? That's the you want to the quickest way out of a man's heart. So what are we? What are we? I just, I feel like I'm wasting my time. What are we? Have you called me, your girlfriend, any of your friends yet? Now, what about if you're a guy and you're trying to broach that subject with the girl and it's just, it's equally as awkward because you're like, you say, hey, listen, what do you say? You're sleeping with other dudes. You know what you and I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Right? Yeah. That's what we do.

1:53:11Now, what I want to know is, how awkward can it get? And what is the awkward things that we... Like, when you think back and you're just mortified at what a moron you made of yourself. What about when conference calling was real big? Did you guys ever... Three-way calling. But you didn't know that someone was on the phone. They stayed quiet. L.O.B. was big on the conference call. That was her bit. That's my bit. What about when you had your friend call? Yeah. And you're on the phone. Will you go out with Fenwick? And if she said no, I'd be like, oh, I'm just kidding. Anyway, calling. Yes, you've got a girlfriend. Yep. Yeah. That's what happened to me. This guy, Kevin, called me and said, would you go out with, I'm not going to say the other guy's name. And I was like, no, he's too short. And later I found out that he wore little inserts in his shoes for weeks to be taller. Guy wanted a taste. That just broke my heart. He wanted Sienna so bad that he wore little inserts in his shoes. I was in, I think, fifth grade.

1:54:10Probably had double D's. Yeah, no. That boy had double D's. That's so sad. Those didn't come in until high school. He's like, I gotta have it. I'll put lifts, I'll wear stilts. I don't care. I gotta have it. Good news is, that little short dude grew up to have a very successful radio show. But we want you to call us right now at 570-1949 with really, really embarrassing and awkward, like... Will you be my girlfriend? Will you go with me? Or if you're a girl, call us and tell us, like, the most mortified that you ever were by a guy that tried to get you to be his girlfriend. Or, like, you could even call us with anything related. You could even call us with, yeah, here's how bad I humiliated this guy. And it's probably still scarring him to this day. 570-1949. Do that next. Make some noise in the studio. This is the Mikey Show FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, tomorrow night is that Circo Now CD release party. Scarlet Symphony are going to play, too. And it's all going down on the rooftop of the 10th Avenue Theater downtown. It's 21 and up. They're going to have DJs and cool video from A Vicious.

1:55:43$15 gets you in the door or onto the roof, but that also gets you a copy of the new Circa Now CD. That's tomorrow night, 10th Avenue Theater downtown. Ben Folds and a piano are in town Tuesday playing House of Blues. Ben Folds. Holes coming to 4th and B June 3rd. Cage the Elephant play House of Blues June 9th. And MGMT's at the Open Air Theater July 15th. Now, Dead Weather will come to town July 19th and play House of Blues. Tickets for that show go on sale tomorrow morning. And the Black Keys are playing Soma on Saturday, September 25th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. On Blu-ray is something you just have to see to believe. The sound and the colors, it was all crystal clear. You have to see every moment. Every single scene just blew me away. You have to see every detail. The Blu-ray quality was insane. It's so real, it's like you're there. The biggest movie of all time. I've watched it three times since I bought it. Is now the biggest Blu-ray of all time. Watching the Blu-ray made me want to go there all over again. Avatar. Ready to PD-13. Own it today.

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2:02:29Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis starting May 9th. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at Southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report is brought to you by The Home Depot. The Home Depot has made a special buy for Mother's Day on 12-inch Moss Line Premium Flowering. Hanging baskets, now just $17.88. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Coronado Bridge westbound between the 5 and the Toll Plaza. A little slow this morning. That's pretty much all we have going on is some slowing. Carlsbad on the 5 southbound between Palomar Airport Road, Birmingham Drive. We've got a delay there in the upper 30s. And checking out that 805, the northbound between Balboa Avenue, Governor Drive. Pretty much stop and go. This report is brought to you by Saquon. Come visit the cash doctor at Saquon Casino right now. Win great cash prizes. Every Monday through May 10th, you could win up to $10,000 in cash from Saquon's Cash Doctor. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln financial media station. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Let me tell you, after doing the cantaloupe thing, you're just doing that, I had to eat cantaloupe.

2:04:17To most people, it's like, oh, what's the big deal? In fact, a lot of people on our Facebook fan page yesterday were making the point to say to me, what's the big deal? You're being a Sally. And, you know, it's because I don't like it. If you don't like a food, you don't want to eat it. I'm right there with you, Mike. It smells terrible, doesn't it? It smells amazing. Oh, my gosh. It's so bad. I can understand, Mikey, but this girl that will eat dirt. She'll have like a dirt sandwich. First of all, it's a mud sandwich. With like a twig appetizer and like bark off of a tree. No. She's like, I don't like this melon. It doesn't taste good. It's trashy. Really? It's trash. Yeah, I agree. It's rotten. Now, that's why I'm glad that Mama Testa is here today. Because the food is good. Everybody get some food. So nobody can clap because everybody's got plates in their hand. It's fantastic. If you've never been to Mama Tessa, in fact, I was eating right now and I was thinking to myself.

2:05:18This has to be the weekend that I take my dad. I say that every week. Every weekend. Yeah. Every week. Maybe we do it after. Maybe you take him after we hit golf balls. Exactly. The other thing I procrastinate about. The fantasy weekend. How about you take him for Mother's Day? How about that? Take dad to Mama Testa for Mother's Day. Mama Testa. Get it? Mother's Day. Mama Testa. 1417 University Avenue corner of Richmond University in Hillcrest. The number 619-298-TACO. And it is un... Real Mexican food. Just unbelievable. And all the dishes made from scratch, and you can tell. Really, really good food. So good. Thank you, Mama Testas, for coming in and feeding everybody in here in the studio today. And thank you for it. They brought me a nice fresh apple. Oh, that's nice. Really sweet. To replace my rotten one. Yeah, she ate a rotten apple this morning. It was pretty gross. So people are calling us right now, and they're telling us about their... Oh, before I do that... I have to tell you, the bidding for the Mikey Show Invitational is going to end this weekend. Oh, boy. And so if you want to be golfing with us, you've got to go to MikeyShow.com and bid on that right now. It's all for Rady Children's Hospital, ADI, their Autism Discovery Institute. And so go there and bid on that. So people are calling us right now telling us about the awkward ways that they have asked somebody out. Oh, boy.

2:06:43I used to do the paper bit where you mark the box. Check yes or no. Check yes or no. Maybe. You have to leave a maybe in there. You have to leave a maybe, you know, because maybe they're undecided. But I used to have to do that because it was before the days of three-way calling. You know, people used conch shells with strings up to their ears and all that kind of deal. M1 Shawna, you there? What was your deal? Well, it wasn't... Well, I used to get the paper thing all the time, and it would be like circle one, yes or no, and I would always circle or. I didn't want to say no, but I didn't want to say yes, so I would circle or. Right. But no, my story is in seventh grade, a friend of mine asked me to be his girlfriend. And we only went out for two hours that day. So he asked me in the morning before school. Sounds about right. Yes. And I thought about it all day. And then I told him I would tell him at the end of lunch. And so during lunch, I was asking all my girlfriends, like, what do I do? Like, do I go out with them or do I not go out with them? Like, what should I do? So finally, I was like, sure, I'll be your girlfriend. Like, whatever the hell that means in seventh grade, you know. And he found out that I was asking my friends. So after school, he was like, well, if you can't make up your mind and you don't really want to be with me, blah, blah, blah.

2:07:58And that was, you were only in seventh grade? Yeah, that was in seventh grade. So he broke up with you. But she didn't say the guy that wrote her the note was actually 27. Yeah, which is strange. Which is odd. Which was really weird. Very weird. Made it so much stranger. My first boyfriend in sixth grade, I think I told the story a couple weeks ago, I broke up with him eventually because he picked his wedgie in the hallway in front of me. Yes. We went out. Over the course of like 36 hours, I broke up with him like 12 times. That's unbelievable. I couldn't decide because we had a dance that Friday. And I was like, do I or do I not when I have a boyfriend? Do I want to slow dance with someone the whole time? Or do I want to have my pick at the feast? Right. My pick at the feast. My pick at the feast. Write that down. That's awesome. M1 Jessie, you there? Yeah. What was your deal? This is actually my sister's story. Someone left her a frog in a tank with a note on it, and it said, Sarah, if this frog doesn't turn into a prince anytime soon, I'd like to take you out for a movie and a dinner. That is awesome. You've got to be kidding me. That's the cutest thing ever. She was way older than her, and she was super creeped out by it. Of course.

2:09:10Speechless. Well, yeah. Yeah, it's like Ron Johnson from Fast Times. Yeah. Hitting on the 15-year-old. Right, and he's 27. Give me a slice of pepperoni pizza and your phone number. Yeah. Old creep. Here's my business card. Yeah, here's my audio consultant. Right. You sell stereos, bro. When I was in sixth grade, there was a guy that was in seventh grade, and he would always ask me out notes in person all the time, and I'd always say no. No, no, no. And then finally, one day, he handed me a note in the halls. It was 80 bucks in there. No! Get me to go out with him. Only in La Jolla. Only in La Jolla. I'm not kidding. I held onto it for a minute and I was like, I got 80 bucks. I might. Maybe. And by the way. I gave it back. I gave it back to him and I told him no again. 80 bucks. I found that in my couch. 80. Here's the odd part of it too. He was in seventh grade. Here's the odd part of it too. 80. 80. Okay. Not 70. No. Not 75. Not 85. Not 100. $80.

2:10:14Probably he's been saving up or something. No, it's his daily allowance. It's in La Jolla. Yeah. He probably got $10 a week allowance and was literally for two months like, I'm going to get her. I'm going to get her. No, he was from Scripps Ranch. He wasn't from La Jolla. So he was obviously poor. So obviously I couldn't date him. He lived too far away. You know, so I wiped with it and I was like, what am I going to do with this? You know, this is ridiculous. It's $80. Come on. Blew my nose right into it. M1 Rabbit, are you there? Hi. What happened with you? Well, my friend and I have been dating kind of secretly for the past month, and we haven't told any of our friends yet. But we were at a party last weekend, and the host couple got very drunk, and they decided they wanted to pick up on me. And they're like, you're single, you should do something crazy for once in your life. What are you doing later? And I couldn't really tell them that I was going over to his house. Wait. I'm looking at Woods right now, and I'm going, is she saying what I... Yes, she's saying. Yeah, and Woodsy is nodding back to me. Yes, she's saying that. I don't think... She... Yeah. This is happening right now. Does Mikey get it? He gets it. Yeah. Yes. Yes. I just held up the number three. Yes. And Woodsy's saying yes. 100%. That's what they were trying to talk you into? No. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

2:11:38Sienna. Hello. 94.9, Mikey Show. Rabbit. I'm listening. You guys are wrong. No way. M1 Rabbit. Yes. Was this couple trying to talk you into a Minaj? They were. Hello. And then, like, you know, I do, and like, hey, hey, I think we need to tell them that we're together. Because she couldn't tell them that I have a boyfriend, and he's here in the hot tub, and he's your friend, too. Right. Oh, okay. I was misunderstanding, obviously. Laughing. Oh, God. That is so crazy. It's crazy on so many levels. I thought that they were trying to set her up with, like, someone else there. Oh, no. She's like, oh, I'm here with this guy, though. She goes, they said. Don't you want to do something crazy for once in your life? Live a little. You're single? Oh. And he's like, no, she's not. Was this party in the 1970s in Hollywood? Right. Was Burt Reynolds there? Yeah. I don't think so now. That's nuts. Thank you, M1 Rabbit. That's M1 Miss Coach. I wonder why her nickname. I stopped. I stopped. M1 Miss Coach. Hi. Hi.

2:12:48Crazy, very awkward based on his limited English ability. Japanese foreign exchange student asks me out in high school in a letter. Wow. In a letter? Yes. Automobile? He met me at my locker and he handed me a little package. It had, you remember Sylvester Looney Tunes? Yeah. Yeah, he handed me like these little earrings that he got me and he said... Vanessa, two questions for you. One, you have a boyfriend? Two, you want to be my girlfriend? And I didn't know how to let him down, so I just wrote him a letter and said my parents wouldn't let me date. Question, Miss Coach. Question. I have questions. I love that. My first question is, did you have any sort of relationship with him up to that point that made him think, you know what, I'm going to take this to the next level? I mean, we sang in choir together. He was, I mean. What grade? What grade? I was a freshman in high school, so, you know, I mean, I was polite and nice to pretty much anyone who gave me attention, but I didn't flirt with him. My goodness. That guy's ballsy, dude. Yeah, that's ballsy. Not only he's a foreign exchange student, right, but just walks right up and is like, hey, be my girlfriend? Yeah. He gave her a present, too. Do you think culturally that...

2:14:09What was it? Sylvester? Yeah. Looney Tunes, yeah. Culturally, Sylvester was like... It's huge in Japan. Done deal. It's huge. It's like Hello Kitty. Yeah, in Japan, you give somebody a Sylvester, maybe it's like a done deal. It's done. That was my stick. I would go to my sister's jewelry box and I'd get a necklace out. Oh, my God. And I would put it in a letter and they would say, do you want to be my girlfriend, yes or no? And then I would send it out. He was resourceful even then. Yeah, even then. Even then he figured it out. And I sent it out to him. And then I'd wait, wait, wait. And if it didn't work, I'd do it the next day to another girl. And finally, finally, it's like my sister's like, where are all my necklaces going? Jay was fishing with dynamite. It worked. It worked? It worked, yeah. Denise Roach was my first girlfriend that I never even had a conversation with, ever. Even we'd see each other, I'd go, hey, hi. Fishing with dynamite's a brilliant tool. I love it. I have a lot of friends that send the 2 a.m. Random dynamite text messages. They'll send 40 of them out. Right. And hope they get a nibble. Hey, what are you doing? You still up? Come over. And they'll send it to 40 different girls. And one will be like, I'm still out. I'll come over. And it's like. What if 10 said that they'll come over? I know. It's happened. You have your pick. It's happened. Like, yeah. Pick of the litter. What do they do? You ignore the ones you don't want. And you write back the ones you do want. Next day, you're like, sorry, I passed out. Yeah, sorry. Passed out, babe.

2:15:28What if they showed up? So, Jay, how old were you when you got the roach? It was elementary school. A guy must have been like sixth grade, maybe. She was quite the looker. And you got her with the necklace. I got her with the necklace. I remember it, too. It had a little bell on the bottom. I still feel guilty. I've never told my sister. You should tell her live on the air. Yeah, you should. You should tell her live on the air. Let's see. Should I take this call? Number two? Number two. Oh, yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good, actually. He's got a pretty good shtick. So, yeah, I take it. Is it M1 Saeed? Yeah. What's up? Hey, first of all, I know this is probably not the way to do it, but, hey, I'm graduating college tomorrow. I just want to say thank you because you've been a really big part of my life. Oh, right on, dude. That's huge. Thank you, man. Yeah. Congrats. So this was my shtick back in the day. I used to, right before I'd ask a girl out, I'd have her on the phone.

2:16:27I'd be like, oh, hey, hold on for one second. And I'd say, I'm going to put you on mute. And I'd pretend to put her on mute. I'd push a button on the phone. And then I'd put the phone against my leg or, you know, like turn it away from me. And then say, no, I'm trying to like quietly. No, I'm trying to ask out this really hot girl. And I'd go back on the phone and obviously hadn't pushed mute. She obviously had heard me. So I was like priming the pump. Extremely resourceful. Very good. It's a great move. Very creative, very inventive. So what would happen, though, when you got back on the phone? Oh, I just act like nothing happened. So if she hung around, then she was in. But if she was like, I got to go, then she was out. Exactly. So it was like, you kind of like felt the waters out because she knew what was going on after that. Did you ever get a girl that stuck around and was like, yeah, I'm all in on this? Oh, yeah. Most of the time. Really? I just remembered a bad idea. Because it was inoffensive, you know? It wasn't like I was doing it in, I just, I mean, to them, they didn't seem like a weird way. Because they, like, legitimately thought that I was, like, putting them on mute, you know? If they would have known I was messing around, then they probably would have been out. But none of them knew. What's right now? I just remembered something I did in seventh grade. What did you do? Remember Nicole Dietrich? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I had... Okay, can I just say this, by the way? Yeah.

2:17:50Your friend Fenwick, who's here today, who's known you since then, you said, do you remember who? Nicole Dietrich. They were in seventh grade. And Fenwick had a look on his face like she was still hot. He gave Woodsy one of these. Oh, yeah. Seventh grade. Seventh grade, by the way. Oh, yeah. You know it. But anyway, I had heard word around the campfire was that she was in on your boy. Yeah. And I remember, I remember talking to her and she, oh God, I can't believe I'm going to tell this on the radio. Holy cow. What was it like by the way when a girl was totally in it? What was it like? Tell me. I remember talking to her in the hallway and she kind of gave me the cold shoulder. And you know what I did when I got home? Oh gosh. Holy cow. What? I called her. And I put the phone next to the boombox. And I... Oh, my God. Oh! What's he, what's he, what's he? His headphones are off. Oh, it's going to be bad. It's going to be bad. He doesn't want to hear himself say it. What did you do? Say it. I played. I played. You've lost that love and feeling. Oh, wow. Wow, Maverick. Wow. Wow. And did she hang on? Am I beat Red right now? You were a second ago. I just remembered that. And you know what? The worst part was?

2:19:21It was, you've lost that loving feeling, Mikey, as covered by The Firm. Not even The Righteous Brothers, whoever it was. Oh, my gosh. It was The Firm. Never close your eyes. I've never heard that story. I've never heard you tell that story. It came back to me when that guy was talking. What did she do? When he was talking about putting the phone to his leg. I remember going home. It was freezing cold. It was in Connecticut. And I remember I was so bummed because I really liked her. And I was like. I'm going to get her. Dude, I'll tell you what. It worked. What did she say? It worked. She, I guess, commiserated with all her friends. She's like, this is what he did. Yeah. The whole song. And I sat there like this. Pacing as it played. Pacing as it played. Her mom's like, who is this? Have you ever had that happen, Lauren? Did I play you a song? Well, he said this. There was a fraternity in college where the bit was. If one of the brothers, gosh, it was so awful. If one of the brothers would get lucky with one of the ladies, then in the dining hall, they would send the pledges up to the girl that he got lucky with, and they would have to sing that song to the girl. Not only embarrassing themselves, but mortifying the girl. Of course. Because you'd be like, oh, she feasted last night. Right. Right. Wow. Now, when you were a kid.

2:20:49Did you ever have a guy call you and play you a song? No, that was me. I was like, say anything. You were the one playing the song. Pulling the boombox up. You were the one playing the song. How about you, Sienna? Did you ever have a guy? Did anybody in this room, female, ever have a guy call and play an entire song for them? No, I just got 80 bucks. Yeah, you got the 80 bucks. No, I played Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover. Yeah, Sophie B. Hawkins. Sophie B. Hawkins. If you're a girl. If you're a girl and you have ever had a guy call you and play an entire song, call me right now, 5701-949, because I have questions about it. I was mortified, dude. You know what it's like? It's on par with writing the letter. We're even. You writing I love you in that girl's hand and me calling and playing that is damn near even. Yeah. Mikey's still tipping the scales. Oh, sure. I was very overweight. Stop it. 570. That's not what you meant. 194.9. M1 James. Yes, what's up, Mikey? What happened? Well, this isn't me, but this is one of my buddies when I was growing up. Sure it is. When he was in high school, he used to break up with girls. He'd write them, you know, little notes. And they were never really pleasant.

2:21:58But one that really stuck out in my memory was the one who wrote this girl, and her name was Janine. And it simply says, Janine, I'm breaking up with you, but I'm very emotionally insecure, so I can't tell you why. So I just drew this picture of me riding a giraffe instead. And right below it, he drew a picture of him on top of a giraffe. It's Napoleon Dynamite. I can't tell you why. That's so weird. I can't tell you why I'm breaking up with you. It's because I'm emotionally insecure. I'm emotionally insecure. And so what I will do instead is I will draw a picture of myself on a giraffe. Brilliant. I love it. In lieu of sharing my feelings. It's so random. It's almost the same thing. Pretty close. Me telling you my feelings. So I will draw a picture of myself riding a giraffe. Maybe he likes someone with a really long neck instead. That's insane. Here's me. Here's me. And then here is, here's the neck of the giraffe here. And then here's the long legs here. And, oh, that's me. Here are the spots. That is crazy. That is the creepiest thing. Thank you, bro. Thank you very much. M1 Ginger is on the line. Yes. Hi.

2:23:25tape, cassette tape, a blank one and I played it with Girl You Know It's True by Milli Vanilli. Oh my gosh. Well now, I like it, but what I need is I need the girl that got exactly what Woodsy did. I want the girl that picked up her phone and the guy played a song. Okay? M1 Lizzy is on the line. You there, Lizzy? I am. Hey, guys. Hi. You had a guy do this, Lizzie? I did. I was in eighth grade, and the guy was in seventh grade. And he played the song for you? He played, well, he was an aspiring musician, if you want to say that. And he put the phone down, called me, put the phone down to his synthesizer, you know, keyboard. Uh-huh. And played along to Depeche Mode's Somebody. Oh, wow. I want somebody to share the rest of my life. He probably practiced. He practiced for days. He played the whole entire song. That's a jam. How was it? I don't know. I was kind of surprised. And when he finally picked up the phone, you know, turned off the synthesizer and picked up the phone, I was kind of like, um.

2:24:43Okay. That's where my line of questioning was going to go. The thing that I want to know from the girl that's had the song played is, what do you think as the song is playing? Do you let the whole song play? Do you listen to the entire song? Do you let the song finish? And then when the song finishes, what's the move, Woods? Hang up? No. Oh, then after the song plays, then you pick the phone up. She's still there. Actually, dude, I hung up. Called her back, because I'm a psycho. Yeah. Called her back 10 minutes later and was like, hey, just wanted to let you know that it was me. He would. Oh, my. And she's like, oh, okay. And then I was like, oh, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead. We have to move, we have to move. Right, right, right. And the next thing, the next thing. I'm building a tree house. I'm building a tree house. She talked to her girlfriends and they were like, oh, that's like the most romantic thing ever. And I went out with her for like, I don't know, seven days. Nice. long relationship when you're in 7th grade. I bet they were like, dude, it's like Top Gun. It's like Top Gun. I'm French to real good. 5701-949. The story is crazy. You've seen the pictures of the Chinese boy that was saved from dropping to his death by his ears. This is the craziest story. But I actually have an interesting question.

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2:33:01And in National City, the 805 northbound between Plaza Boulevard, Claremont Mesa Boulevard, we're seeing stop-and-go traffic. This report also brought to you by Turtle Wax. Make sure your car is ready for spring for a limited time. Find great deals on select Turtle Wax ice care car products at your favorite retailer. Plus, you'll get some awesome car care tips at TurtleWax.com. Turtle Wax, making life shine. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I think Nickelback may be cooler than Dodgley. Lauren. We all like the chase. Woods. I buy sticker price for everything. I cannot negotiate at all. Sienna. Those are nutty bars? Yeah. Those are the best. And Jay. I was the guy most voted most likely to snap on FM 94.9. Lauren picking the music today. Rusted Root. The song is Send Me On My Way. You're listening to The Mikey Show. It's me. It's Woods. It's Lauren. It's Sienna. And it's Jay. Don't forget, if you would like to golf in our big tournament that we're going to be doing, it's the Mikey Show Invitational. It's on Thursday. All you need to do is go to MikeyShow.com. And you can do it there. We're raising money for Rady Children's Hospital and their Autism Discovery Institute.

2:34:57which is really cool. So we'd love you to get there and do that. And don't forget, Circa Now is a band that's going to be playing their local band. They're having a CD release party on the rooftop of the 10th Avenue Theater. Tomorrow? Tomorrow night. 21 and up, 15 bucks to get in. You get their new CD for that. Cool. So check that out. So this story is crazy. There's a Chinese kid that is dangling. How many stories? Eight. Eight stories? Yeah. Above the streets below. Yes. Sounds like a tall tale. You get it? You get that? Oh, that's not the sound effect I wanted. My paparazzi was there? Yeah. Well, that's weird. Taking pictures. But, no, the deal is that he's eight stories up. He climbs through the little bars, and it would have fallen, except that his ears,

2:35:58held him in between the bars because his ears, you know, they're thick skin. Let me try to explain it. A little bit more. So there's this little six-year-old boy. He's in his house, in his apartment. He was sleeping. The grandpa left to go run a quick errand. While the grandpa was gone, little boy woke up, wondered, where'd grandpa go? Went and looked out the window to see if he could see grandpa. Somehow fell. Underneath, at the bottom of the window, there are a bunch of little bars sticking out. And they're parallel to the street. So you could almost stand on the bars. But he somehow slipped through them. And what stopped him from going all the way down to the first floor were his ears. So his head was literally stuck in between two bars. Wedged. Wedged. And his feet are dangling. And the bars are underneath his earlobes, stuck under there, because his ears stuck out a little bit, so it kept him from slipping through. Yeah. Now... There's a picture, which is how we know this visual. Now, at first, I was going to say that I questioned it. I don't anymore. I don't either...

2:36:59And let's see if we thought the same thing. What would the payoff be? Well, let's see if we thought the same thing. The first thought that I had was, I don't think it's real because who stops to take a picture during that? Well, you can see, you know, rescuers came and ended up saving him. Firefighters had to use hydraulic pressure expanders to force the bars apart and pull him back into his apartment. Of course they did. That's what you used. Of course. The picture is an angle from above. So like the window he fell out of, someone's taking a picture from that window. And next to him, you can see someone else's arm. And it's a firefighter grabbing him. So whoever took the picture was one of the rescuers. I didn't think it was a doctored picture. I thought that it was done purposefully knowing that it would be fine. A hoax. I thought it too. And that they would do that just to get. Because I was like, well, who would. I mean, in a situation like that, would anybody actually pull out a camera and take a picture in a situation like that? But then as I thought it through, I was like, oh, the reason that they had time to take a picture is because it took a while for them to get there and figure it out. And he was just stuck hanging by his ears. Literally, the bars were underneath his ears. But the thing that is a question in my mind is how did the rest of his body go through? You know, his shoulders, he must have gone in on one side. And then as he was slipping through, turned his head and the bars caught his ears. I mean, I don't know. Oh, my gosh. Why couldn't they just pull him up by his head then?

2:38:20Because you would have had to turn him, and you can't pull somebody up by their head. You'll break their neck. Yeah, so someone had to hold on, you know. I'm sure there was numerous people. Mike, I forgot that the head was attached to the neck. Why didn't they cut his head off? Yeah. Catch his body. Pop it off. And then reattach. Yeah. Pop the head off like the pop goes a weasel. Yeah. Remove the head from the body, Mike. Reattach the body. It's easy. Crowds. You can see there's crowds on the ground level looking up at him. I guess the little boy was screaming. It took a while. They called 911. That's scary. Really scary. M1 Snap. Snap, are you there? Snap. Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. Hey, check this out. When I was, I would say about seven, I was playing out in the front yard in my grandmother's house. And I don't know what got into me, but I stuck my head to a wrought iron fence. It went through real easy, but I tried to back out. And once I tried to back out, I couldn't get nowhere because my ears were holding me in place. Of course you didn't panic. Well, of course I panicked. Exactly. Which makes it 50 times worse when the kid starts to freak out. Kids always do stuff like that. Even on the stairways, like the railing along stairs, they stick their head through and get stuck. It goes in, but it won't go out.

2:39:43I used to get drunk and climb through the doggy door of our house. Weird visual. Before I was 700 pounds. Were you like, I would like, that's how I, because we had, my parents had a lot. It was like Fort Knox. You couldn't walk. I couldn't leave my bedroom once the alarm was set because it's sensors. But my bathroom was attached to my bedroom. Yeah. And I could go into my bathroom and out the doggy door. No sensor. No sensor. So you'd go through that? The doggy door had no sensor, so I'd pull the thing up, and I would have to put, you know, you go one arm in the head first. Right. Then you get the other arm through, and you're out, and then you just push yourself out. But my mom has caught me sneaking. I think she caught me sneaking back in one time. Really? Through the doggy door. I'm sure she had a great sense of humor about it. Yeah, I'm sure she was very proud of her delinquent child. Hey, Mom, it works. Yeah. Hey, just left something outside. Testing this thing out. Thanks for the call. M1. Who's hit you? Are you still there? Yes. Hey, man, you're calling about the date thing and how you would ask people out. What would you do? My bit, this one girl, she kind of looked like Bo Derek, like a miniature Bo Derek. Nice. And that was like, I'm going to date myself and let you know that was a few years after it came out. Now, was she wearing like the cornrows? Is that the deal? She fully wore the beads like her mom or her older sister saw the movie. Yeah.

2:41:08And she had that hairdo, and she had those big blue eyes and the cheekbones. Yeah. And I just fell in love with this girl. So during class, I was in sixth grade, I got a piece of grape bubble yum. Can't be bubble, it's just grape bubble yum. And I wrote the question, will you go with me? And then the little box, yes, and the little no, passed it across the room to her. And so, of course, she took the gum, and I saw her mark a box, and my heart was popping out of my chest. And I sat there. The piece of paper came back, and she's chewing the gum, smiling at me. Checked yes. I'm like, yeah, baby. Nice. Nice. She said yes. That was at the beginning of class. So, of course, I'm the king of the world, the beginning of class. The class gets over 45 minutes later. Out in the hallway, I can't go with you. So she already checked the box that said yes, right? She just wanted the gum. Sugar high. Did she check the box that said yes?

2:42:05Five minutes, I was the king of the world. If she checks the box and said, yes, you can still execute that contract. If I were you, I'd see an attorney. Absolutely. Take it to the attorney. See if you could still execute the contract. And you hold her to it, pal. You don't let her off the hook. You say, hey, listen, you're mine. Check the box. Statute of limitations or anything like that? Statute of limitations. It probably went out. My parents used to say, well, you know, the whole go with me. Will you go with me? I never. I think I said that. My parents used to say when I said, yeah, like, I'm going out with him. They'd be like, what do you mean? Where are you going? Where are you going? Where do you guys go? Are you going steady? Is that it? Oh, my God. Did your parents say that? Going steady? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Going steady, yeah. Steady was real serious. What, are you going to wear his Leatherman jacket? Leatherman jacket and the pin. Yeah, when did the pin stop? When did a, when did, what did you get a letter for? I don't think I lettered anything. What does that mean, though? Football. Or baseball. You made varsity. Oh, it means you made varsity? I moved. I moved, so I didn't get a letter. I lettered it. Lettered? I can't even say it. In track, choir, and drama. You can letter in choir? Hey, we went to an acapella choir. We went to state. Wow. Melee, dude. I wouldn't tell anybody that. Hey, I'm proud of it. I got 10 varsity letters in high school. You also lettered in drama? Yeah. What was your boyfriend's name? Yeah.

2:43:24You want to hear somebody that lettered in choir? Really? Why? Varsity, bro. Varsity. Love him. Great kisser. Yes, him. He's standing there right now with a letterman jacket on. Oh, my God. I can't believe you can letter in choir and drama. I lettered in lunch. Write that down. Let me tell you something. Had I lettered in drama, I'd have gotten my arse kicked. When I walked by guys that lettered in real things, they'd have been like, hey, Chubbs, what's that letter for? I'd be looking behind me like, what letter? You know where all the girls were? Where? Drama and choir. Really? Oh, yeah, they were. Where did you go to school in? Oppositeville? Yeah. Opposite land. And they were easy. It's opposite day to day. Opposite land. This one time at band camp? Yes. Yeah, exactly the way they were. It was crazy. Actually, it's weird. It wasn't until I moved away from my little hometown, Gilroy, where I grew up in Northern California, that I realized that drama was culturally something that was nerdy and band. When at my school, band and drama were not nerdy.

2:44:50Some schools, they're not. Some schools, they're not. Yeah, it's called Juilliard. That's where it's not. My school cheerleading was nerdy. Are you serious? Yeah. What? How bizarre is that? Like, the cheerleaders are like, ooh. That's a git. Are you sure that wasn't you and a couple of your friends? That was you and your friends. It was probably me, but. You and your friends. Like, maybe it was you and your friends. Yeah, but, like, they never. I feel bad because, like, it's here. But they never. No, guys never were all about the cheerleaders. They were not about the cheerleaders. Guys were all about the soccer players in my high school. Really? Guys were about cheerleaders at my school. Fanny and I, of course, we both moved to Connecticut from different places. I moved from Texas. He moved from Kansas. Midwestern girls, beautiful. Texas girls, beautiful. We moved to Connecticut. Not beautiful? You should see some of the dregs. Oh, stop it. You guys moved together? No, no, no, but we ended up there, like, right around the same time. Got it. It was a prerequisite for every girl to wear a turtleneck. Really? Yeah, and a sweater. Like, they were just awful. They were all purse holders. Yeah, yeah, just, they were awful. That might have been your school. I know some very beautiful women outside. Wow, you just offended L-O-B. Field hockey players. I played field hockey. Yeah, my girls played field hockey. What about it? Yeah. Just kidding. Is that like lacrosse? Lacrosse and field hockey they played. M1 Jessie? Yes. Where'd you get stuck?

2:46:14In the window of my house when I was like eight and a half months pregnant. Oh, my gosh. How'd you get stuck? Well, I turned a bucket over to climb in this window that I, you know, knew I could climb through, I thought, but not in pregnant mode. And so I got like past my bus and then I couldn't get my belly. Oh, no. Oh, no. And then the bucket fell out from underneath. Oh, wow. Wow. Oh, my gosh. It's all out there and my neighbor calls in. Like, she just hated me anyway, but she called me in as a robber on my own house. Oh, wow. Really? A pregnant thief? How many pregnant thieves are there? Was your face on the inside of the house or the outside of the house? On the inside. So my butt's like... Sticking out. She's like... You guys ever been locked out of the house with, like, no clothes on, like your underwear or something like that? No. I've been shut out of a hotel room in my boxers. Why are you going out in your yard nude? I wasn't in my yard. It was laptopping. It was laptopping. Really? Like it's hunting? It's hunting. It was laptopping. That's what he lettered in. I was in my garage. Nude? No, I wasn't nude. In your underwear. I had on tighty whities. How old were you? Yesterday? A month ago? I was like 24. I was in the garage. I was in the garage getting some stuff out of the dryer.

2:47:44I was going to the dryer to get clothes. It's like 30 degrees in the garage. So then you should have been able to put clothes on when you were locked out. Oh, yeah. I didn't even think of that. Honestly, I didn't think of that. In fact, when the door closed behind me and I knew it was locked, I panicked. I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm in the garage with my underwear. Are you holding up like a tire in front of your desk? Like, this is the only way. Like, just open the dryer. There's like. full of jeans in their shirt. I remembered a key. There was a spare key, and I remembered the key. But up until then, it didn't occur to me. Honestly, it's been six years. Never occurred to me, hey, Dodo, you had clothes in the dryer. Mike, how was your math? It didn't occur to me until this second. Are you turning 40? Seriously. 16 years ago? It was six years ago. Yeah, 47 years ago, right? I got shut out of a hotel room once in just my boxers. I think I went out to take the tray of whatever, and I put it down the door, just bam, and I'm like, oh, boy. What'd you do? Oh, boy. Well, I walked down. I found one of those phones, and I was like, yeah, you need to send somebody up immediately. There's a perp in the hallway. I'm here. I'm in my underwear. That is funny. That's pretty rough. Wow. You guys want to hear a scene?

2:49:06From Iron Man 2, which is out in theaters today. Yes. This is Robert Downey Jr. talking to Mickey Rourke, who plays a Russian dude. You come from a family of thieves and butchers. Family. And now they're called Guilty Man. You try to rewrite your own history, and you forget all the lives the Stark family has destroyed. Speaking of thieves, where did you get this design? You can't wait. You can't wait to see it. I'm excited. Robert Downey Jr. doesn't seem like a good fit for that. He is a freaking phenomenal fit. Nobody else could do it. Nobody else. No one else could do this. He's so good. No one else could be as cool as he is. That's it. His whole character is that he's a ladies.

2:50:12man and super slick. Slick. Real slick. He's on the cover of Rolling Stone. He's a super slick guy. He's a technology rock star is what he is. He's into technology, but his personality is like he's a casino owner. His voice isn't smooth enough. Oh, it's cool. It's so cool. You didn't see it. I don't like stuff like that. Do I? Yeah, you didn't see it. You'll like it. Word is that Iron Man 2 will be breaking some serious records. They're saying it's going to beat The Dark Knight this weekend, and they're predicting as much as $160 million over this weekend. I'd see it. That movie's going to make, yeah. I'd see it this weekend. There's no way I'm dragging it. Let's all wait and go together next week. I'm in. I'm in. Let's do it. Lawrence, this is out. No, you have to go. You guys have fun. You have to go. I have an appointment. Every day. I didn't say which day we're going. You made us go see Alice in Wonderland. I didn't make you. That's when we were doing the movie. You made us go see it. You could have picked anything. Okay. Okay, okay. Lauren and I are going to golf. We're not golfing on Thursday, but we're going. So why do we have to do another guy thing the day before? Yeah, we don't. I'll believe it when I see it. Yeah, it makes you sweethearts. You guys have to come shopping with us. It means your hearts are sweet. We'll go. I'll go shopping with you. You need to go shopping. Yeah, I love to go shopping. Yeah, it's fine. Even you wouldn't want to go shopping all day, I'll be. That's the worst. I'll go pick grain with you. How about that? Yeah. We'll help you bail some wheat. Let's watch The View for like six hours. You wouldn't watch The View. Or Lifetime.

2:51:41Movies. You have very dude tendencies, remember? Yeah, you're like a dude. I got killed for that. No, you didn't. I did. I told L.O.B. that she had dude-like tendencies, and she very sweetly put that on Facebook, and people are like, it's okay, L.O.B. He's a jerk. You know, he's just a monster. It's all right. No, but the thing is, as soon as you said it, I was like, I know. I know. I mean, I remember what it was about. It was because, oh, it was because L.O.B., like a guy, She's kind of like a guy in that she kind of likes her space. She likes to have her space. She likes to have her time. Good thing you couldn't hear that. Yeah, but she does. You know how guys need their time, you know, where they're just by themselves and just spend time alone? That's L-O-B. So she is. She does. She has that kind of dude-likes tendencies, right? Nothing wrong with that. I don't think so. Really? Really? Really? Love the song. I used to have it on cassette. Of course you did. I knew it. I'm Mexican. What do you think? I used to dance on linoleum. I just imagined this. All right. I used to spin. Carboard box. In your tight whites. Yes, in my tight whites. You guys want to hear some Donald Duck theater in a minute? Yeah. Yes.

2:53:10Welcome, everybody, to the live studio audience. And here today, we will be back. It's the Mikey Show. Hang on. You're part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. You've been to the parties. Now, come to the event. Circa Now's CD release event. Tomorrow night. Rooftop of the 10th Avenue Theater downtown. Photography, DJs, fashion, and video art with the San Diego skyline as a backdrop. 21 and over. Admission is $15 and includes a copy of Circa Now's new CD, Hotter Than a Pistol. Oh, baby, I gotta be true. This first-come, first-served day of only. And now, with special guest Scarlet Symphony, tomorrow night on the rooftop of the 10th Avenue Theater downtown. For more info, check out myspace.com slash circanow05. Produced by John Block.

2:54:38We may not be able to lower the cost of gas, but we can do something about how many miles you will drive per gallon. Stop by your local Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts store today and let us help you increase the performance of your car or truck. Simple things like replacing your air filter, changing worn-out smart plugs, and using fuel injector cleaner can add up to better fuel economy and big savings. There's a Cregan O'Reilly Auto Parts store close to you that has the name brands, low prices, and people who can help. Increase mileage and performance with a bottle of Valvoline Fuel Injector Cleaner. Right now at Cragen O'Reilly Auto Parts. Buy one at $3.99 and get a second bottle free. Valvoline Fuel Injector Cleaner. Buy one at $3.99. Get one free at Cragen O'Reilly Auto Parts, the official auto parts store of NASCAR. Better parts, better prices every day. Limit supply. See store for details. Cragen O'Reilly. Giving mom a new wireless phone on Mother's Day is smart. Giving mom a new wireless phone from Verizon on Mother's Day? That, my friends, is smarter. Seriously, from sunrise to sweet dreams, she runs the family. Doesn't she deserve the best network? I thought so. The truth is, when you want your network to work, you want Verizon. And now, don't miss great gifts under $30, like the fully capable, ultra-portable Gateway LT netbook. Now, only $29.99 after $100 mail-in rebate debit card.

2:56:04or the stylish Palm Pre Plus smartphone. Also only $29.99. You're smart. Now get smarter. Hurry in by May 9th and give mom the network that really works. Visit Verizon Wireless, verizonwireless.com, or call 1-800 to join in. All devices require new to your activation. Palm Pre requires a voice plan with Datapack $29.99 or higher. Netbook requires a mobile broadband plan. Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com. September 23rd, wedding anniversary. Next Tuesday, karate tournament. Saturday, 7.15 a.m., pancakes with Dad. Sundown, June 5th, local wildlife sanctuary celebrates Owl Night. Our schedules are very much our own. And with so much going on, shouldn't there be more flexibility on when you make your monthly mortgage payment? At Wells Fargo, when you want a mortgage with a payment plan that runs on your schedule that also has low interest rates, we're with you. That's why we've created automatic mortgage payment choices through the Wells Fargo Preferred Payment Plan.

2:57:02A free service available with any of our mortgages. Our automatic mortgage payment choices allow you to divide your mortgage payments to better match your pay cycle. Schedule free and automatic withdrawals weekly, biweekly, semi-monthly, or monthly. Plus, there are options that allow you to pay down your mortgage and reduce the total interest over the life of your mortgage. Call, click, or stop by Wells Fargo today. Just make sure it won't conflict with Owl Night. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. Wells Fargo Home Mortgage, a division of Wells Fargo Bank N.A., is an equal housing lender. Going once. Going twice. Sold! Every event must come to an end. And the Lexus 60 to 0 certified pre-owned sales event is no exception. Right now, we have a large selection of meticulously inspected vehicles available. And every single one of them is on sale. We even have a line of groundbreaking hybrids. You'll find 1.9% APR financing at irresistible lease rates on the Lexus of your choice. But only until June 1st. So stop by the Lexus 60 to 0 certified pre-owned sales event. Where the one you want is the one on sale. And hurry.

2:58:08Because as we said, every event must come to an end. Even ours. See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or Kearney Mesa. Or visit LexusCPO.com. 36 monthly payments of $28,60 per thousand financed. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important APR program limitations and offer details. Only a limited number of customers will qualify. No down payment required if qualified. Offer ends June 1, 2010. The Home Depot has low prices on hanging baskets and container plants. There's a fresh idea for Mother's Day. Fresh blooming flowers that will last all season long. So you can fill mom's heart with joy and her garden with color. All without emptying your pockets. Thanks to those vibrant hanging baskets and container plants that you picked up for such a great low price at the Home Depot. More saving. More doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Nothing. Every opportunity in front of you. The world's forward-thinking companies behind you. The Pacific Ocean beside you. Nothing standing between you. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. This report is brought to you by The Home Depot. The Home Depot has made a special buy for Mother's Day on 12-inch Moss Line premium flowering hanging baskets. Now just $17.88. More saving, more doing. That's the power of The Home Depot.

2:59:29A little bit of slowing here on the 805 northbound between El Cajon Boulevard and the 163. Pretty much stop and go right now. And the 15 southbound through Escondido between Valley Parkway and Center City Parkway. We've got slowing. Checking out Encinitas. You've got a backup here, too, on the 5 southbound between La Costa Avenue and Manchester Avenue. It's in the teens in some spots. This report also brought to you by Caltrans and Highway Work Zones. You've got two choices. Slow down. Or pay up. Fines are now up to $1,000 or more. Plus, you also get points on your driving record. Slow for the cone zone. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94. It does surprise me that that's... Lauren. Lauren chose Carrie Underwood before he cheats. Everybody was all surprised I didn't know what this was. I'm a dude. Why would I know what this is? It was pretty big. That's why I know it. You know where I learned about this song? Where? In San Antonio, Texas. Not a girl. I'd never heard it before, and my old job, we went for a sales conference there. We were some bar along the Riverwalk, and one of my coworkers got up there and did it on karaoke.

3:01:01And all the other girls on the team were, like, fist pumping, singing along. I was like, what is this? It's funny, too, and ironic that there's a part in the song where it says that one of the girls sings Shania karaoke. Yes. And she's doing Carrie karaoke. I know. As she's doing it. Yeah, after she said the Shania karaoke, people were like, woo! Because there was something to relate to there. Welcome to Texas. That's right. So, let's see. Did you guys hear? About the 100-year-old woman that got evicted. Did you guys hear about this? Me. 100-year-old woman. In Illinois. What's the deal with it? Well, she was being evicted because the bank tried to foreclose her house. I guess her niece is now the owner of her home, and her niece is the one that's evicting her. Are you kidding me? She's 100 years old. How old's your niece? Like, 87? Yeah, no kidding, right? I mean, seriously. She's 47. You get out of this house. And land and court records show that the older woman, the 100-year-old woman, began signing over portions of her property to her niece's company. Yeah, in 1824. And the company now owns the entire farm. It's a farm she lives on.

3:02:17niece is giving her until May 16th to vacate. What a turd. She's going to get death threats, I guarantee it. When that woman dated President Taft, the same exact thing happened from his niece to him, so she remembers the experience. By the way, if you would like to bid on the golf tournament that we're going to be playing in and you want to be in either a foursome in front of us or behind us, you can do that. By going to MikeyShow.com, you have one day, 20 hours, and 50 minutes left. That's how long is left in the auction if you'd like to get in on it. So, again, MikeyShow.com if you want to do that. Anybody ready for some Donald Duck Theater? Yeah! Ladies and gentlemen, today Donald Duck is going to be doing a dramatic interpretation, if you've never heard this before, Donald Duck is going to be doing a dramatic interpretation from the movie The Untouchables. Are you ready?

3:04:12Oh, wow. Wow. Wow, Donald. Swallow some of that spit, Donald. Oh, yeah. Team. Team. Team. Team. Team. Team. Team. Team. Team. Ladies and gentlemen. Wow. I could hear that all day. A little choked up there. I don't know why I love hearing Donald Duck doing guy movies. It's just, it's... I've never seen that movie, so I was like, what is even going on right now? Weird. Just the voice is so crazy. If Lauren ever let us, I want to videotape her doing it. I look like a freak. The face. See, part of the charm of it is seeing it come out of this blonde girl. Like the snaggle face. Yes. Yeah, the snaggle face. I love it. I love it. Let's see. 570.

3:05:291-949-9 is our number, or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. Oh, you know what we can do? Why don't we do our falsetto Friday? Yes. Really? You want to do falsetto Friday? Yes. Yes, I want to. You know whose birthday it is? I think we have him on the line. Keith Richards. Keith Richards is Sienna's dad. Mr. Richards? Yes, I'm here. How are you? Hi, Dad. How are you guys doing? Not too much. How old are you today? I'm 104. It's his birthday on Sunday. Mother's Day, poor guy. Mr. Richards, it's Woods. I'm going to listen to that. I'm good, man. I'm going to listen to that tape that you sent me as soon as I can locate a tape deck. It's just a cassette deck. It wasn't that many decades ago. I'm telling you, I can't find one anywhere. Hey, Woods, there's one in our office. No, there is.

3:06:26Oh, you're busted. No, is there really? I don't know. I made that up. He's just trying to get me in trouble all day. It's a CD player. See, the deal is that Sienna's dad gave Sienna a cassette tape to give to Woods. It's got some comedy on it that Mr. Richards thought that he would enjoy. You can call him Keith. Soon as I find... A cassette deck. Yeah. I'll make sure to play this. My grandfather has an old El Camino. I think I might. Just come. You can come by our house. I'm sure my dad has one. That's fantastic. You guys ready? I've never done this with other people, have I? Yeah. Well, they're ready. All right. We're ready. We're going to sing to you, Dad. Oh, God. You don't have to do that. It's all right. We want to. We want to. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Thank you so much. I hate that more than anything. I love falsetto Friday. You get all my notes. Thank you, Keith. Bye, Dad. Love you. Thank you, Keith. I love you guys, too. You got a great show. Keep it up. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. So, Sienna, tell us about the Cinco de Mayo deal. This was pretty gnarly. This is?

3:07:50Really gnarly. Administrators at a California high school sent five students home on Wednesday, which was Cinco de Mayo, because they refused to remove their American flag T-shirts and bandanas. Oh, boy. Now, here's the problem. The kids were in class, and the assistant principal walked up to them and said, look, you know, this is a Mexican holiday. This is Cinco de Mayo. You don't need to be wearing those shirts on this day. It's disrespectful. You're going to cause problems. Called them to the office. They had to sit in front of the principal, and he said, you need to turn your T-shirts inside out. And they said, no, this is ridiculous. I wear these shirts all the time. They said these colors don't run. Yeah. Exactly. Toby Keith fans. So anyway, it turned into this whole ordeal and the parents of the students are furious because they're saying, you know, these kids wear these shirts all the time. It's not like an actual American flag. It just has the American flag on T-shirts. Right. And so they're saying, you know, it was disrespectful. It's Cinco de Mayo. It's a Mexican holiday. Like, don't be rubbing that in their face. You're just asking for problems.

3:08:50So this is a big story that's all over the place right now. Very cool. And here's the thing about that story. And I didn't mean to say very cool. What I meant to say. Sorry. That's awful. I was like, you know, I was half, my mind was half somewhere else. But here's why I wanted to talk about it. The reason I wanted to talk about it was because I thought that the kids, obviously, that wore the American flags, were being knuckleheads. They're trying to be provocative. They're trying to get something started. They're trying to get people riled up. And that which is fine to do. Just know there's consequences to it. You get people riled up. There's going to be consequences to it. You might as well find out as a young knucklehead that if you're a knucklehead, if you're an adult knucklehead and you do something similar, you're going to run into a buzzsaw. Eventually, you're always going to run in to a buzzsaw. That's just the way it is. So anyway. Woods, are you excited about seeing your first UFC this weekend? Yeah, dude. What do they say? You always remember your first, right? That's right, buddy. I will be there. UFC 113 is this weekend. It's Machida versus Shogun Hua. And it's a rematch. And it's going to be... I have not been...

3:10:03This excited to see a fight in a long time. Not to mention our boys fighting. Joey Beltran. Beltran, who is a listener, who's an M1 listener, is going to be actually participating. He's fighting this weekend. Well, Mikey's been selling me every day. And I'm like, Mikey, to me it looks so violent. And Mikey's like, no, dude, this is where it's at. And I really think after I watch it, I'm going to love it. You're going to be converted. I think I'm going to be converted. Well, here's the thing. The deal with it is, is that ever since Dana White, uh took over and became president of the ufc it has become a very legitimized sport to the point where it has taken over in popularity um it's taken over in popularity over boxing it's twice as big as boxing is in this country right now and really a lot of those uh boxing companies are kind of looking to ufc to go what's the secret yeah what is it that you guys are doing that is working so well i'll tell you what it is great great athletes athletes that are probably the best athletes in the world uh fighting at the top level and a company that knows how to put this stuff together and make it look about as slick as possible the production on any of these fights is amazing and they make it into a sports motion picture that's why i said when i was sitting in the audience at the actual event it was the most

3:11:29hair standing up on your arm, electric atmosphere I'd ever been in. And I told you, I went to an Oscar De La Hoya fight. One of your brethren. Yeah, one of my brethren. Absolutely. And it was a really, really incredible experience. It was nothing compared to the UFC. It was nothing compared to UFC. And part of it is... When you're in the arena for a UFC fight on all of the different big screens that they have in there, they're showing production pieces for all of the different fights that are coming up. And you're getting to see their backstory and you're getting a story on the individuals. And it's awesome. The way that they produce it is awesome. Music, everything they do. So this weekend, I'm looking forward to this thing. It's going to be pretty cool. And go team Beltran. Go Beltran. Hopefully that. That is good. We got a brand new urban survivor for you. Yeah. If you didn't know. I'm Mikey Grylls. I've never been a member of the British Special Forces. I barely got out of high school with a GED. And I've got no experience except for telling jokes in the radio. I will try to survive in urban situations using nothing but the company's credit card, a car, a nice one at that, my wallet, and whatever things I can find on the internet.

3:12:51You're listening to Urban Survival. I'm standing in front of a local drugstore. I'm cold, a bit tired, and I haven't slept for over 30 minutes, nor have I eaten. Drugstores are a great place to rummage around and try to find things to survive. Once, a teenage group came into a drugstore and could only find 14 pounds of candy. It only lasted them three months before they became famished, and had to feast on each other. This could happen to you. This is no place to mess around. I'm going to go into the drugstore now and see what I can find. I'm standing in the middle of aisle 12. There's a lot of alcohol here. If I had a penchant for drinking alcohol, there would be plenty of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels. But right now, the point is rest and food. What's your name? Debbie. Debbie, how are you today? I'm great. How are you? I'm good. Would you say that I'm more of a skipper?

3:13:54Or a Gilligan? A Gilligan. Wow, that was really kind. I thought I was definitely chubby enough to qualify as the skipper, but thank you. I've got a question for you. You've got all kinds of things here in this drugstore. Do you have a Marriott Suites where I could actually lay down and take a nap? No. Do you have an indoor shower, jacuzzi, or spa? No. Do you have a masseuse that could rub out the knots? We could probably find one. Let me ask you a question. If I haven't slept for over 45 minutes, is there anything in here that I could take, some sort of Somenex, anything like that, that can give me rest? Sure. What aisle? Twenty-two. Once, while trapped on aisle 22, I was trying to find rest, and mistakenly, I took Exlax instead of Somenex. Bad move. If this ever happens to you, rush to a cabana as soon as possible. I'm standing outside of the drugstore now. In my haste, all I was able to grab was some SPF 15 suntan lotion, some Swisher Sweet cigars, and some hair conditioner. Stupid. I'm so stupid. Until next time, I'm the Urban Survivor. Urban Survivor. You just grab what you could, right? Swisher Sweet. Love that. You just grab what you can. The Swisher Sweets. You ever smoked one of those? Absolutely. Yeah. Who hasn't? What guy?

3:15:24Has not at one point had to try a swisher sweet. Swisher sweet. Is that the lady's way of calling you little buddy? That's right. Exactly. Little buddy. She's trying to call me little buddy. Hey, so check this out. Sienna has a thing that will tell us how you know if your guy is lying. You guys are not going to like this. His lips are moving. His lips are moving. Isn't that what Lawrence said? He stole my bed. He opened his mouth. Yeah, I said he talks. He said something. Okay, you guys are going to be kind of creeped out. Oh, man. Where does this thing come from? Let the woods roast begin. I got it on Yahoo. Really? Yeah, it's legit. It says dating 101. How to tell if your guy is lying. Okay. A former ex-CIA polygraph examiner. This is from them. That's who did it? Yeah. Oh, wow. Maybe this is like really real. This is what I mean. It's like kind of creepy. Okay. Take a mental picture of his usual behavior. When you're normally talking to your man, see, this is what I mean. Like, you have to really, like, examine them. Pause. Okay. Are you uncomfortable, Woods? No. Are you nervous? No. Okay. I don't lie. No, I know. I know. Anymore? Go ahead. I bet if we got Jamie on the phone, she would know all of yours to each other. My wife's stepfather was a police detective who used to, like, interrogate people. So he taught her all the tricks. Did he really? I can't lie about. Does she know stuff? Oh, yeah. She knows how to get you.

3:16:50She, like, she puts her hand on your wrist and she's taking your pulse. As she's asking you questions. She'll always look you right in the eye, too. And if your eye moves, she'll always say, you lied. I'm like, oh, I did marry a magnum P.I. It's funny, too, because if somebody looked, you know. Up to the left. Up to the left. I thought it was down to the left. Whatever. I call her. I don't know. She'll tell you. Down to the left is a lie. The reason that it is is because you use the right part of your brain to use the creative part of your mind. And when you do that. You look to the left, not the right. You use the right part of your brain, which operates the left part of your body. Ask me something. Did you date Mary Lou Retton? No. You looked to the right. Yeah, he did. He very quickly danced to the right. His eyes danced up to the right. Yes, you did. You're like, really quick. That means he's telling the truth. I don't know if I'd want to know all of these and have those tricks. Because then I would... Like, overanalyze everything. I'm going to ask you some questions, Clarice. Tell the truth. So what I mean by take a mental picture of his usual behavior, meaning, you know, does he clear his throat or gesture when he speaks a lot? You know, no, like, little subtle body changes. What is that? He's doing the YMCA. He starts making paper animals. No, but subtle changes in body language, speech, the tone of his voice that occurs when he's trying to hide something. So just really pay attention to, you know, when you're having an open call.

3:18:18conversation about something and then when it you know some little tense comes up notice the changes so start paying attention if his voice gets any higher yeah watch his posture first sign to tell you that you have nothing to worry about is if he's leaned back Now looking pensively. Nothing to hide. Relax. Is Frankie here? Yeah, what's going on? But if you ask your man a question about, you know, so what was it you were doing last night again? You said you went here. If he, like, you know, sits up real quick and is like, oh, yeah, no, I was, you know, uncrosses his legs, you know. We're the worst liars. Like, men are just awful. Well, yeah, but sometimes aren't. Who's better liars? Women. Women. Really? Yeah. Without a doubt. Because men are dumber. We believe. Oh, yeah. We believe you. I don't even think dumber is a word. It is. You know what I think it is? Dumber? Dumber and dumber. I think it's men are more. I'm dumber than you. I think it's men are more dumb. I think that. But dumber is a word. Okay. You know why I think that we believe women? Why? And why I think that women are such effective liars if they do lie. Right.

3:19:29Because we are predisposed to believe our mothers. Yes. We're predisposed to believe. I buy it. You think that could be it? Yeah. I don't know. Your mama wouldn't lie to you. Your mom wouldn't lie to you? Maybe. You would think that a girl would be honest with you because, you know, because of that. Okay, so here's an example they give you. Ask the right questions. The example is, let's say you made him a lunch for when he went to work. If he comes home and you're wondering if he ate your lunch. that you made him or if he went out to eat lunch. He is coming out of his skin. Of course they will ask you that. So did you eat the sandwich I made you? Yeah. Even though I went out to lunch with Mikey and we got Chinese food. Yeah, it was really good. Well, they're allergic to mustard and I put mustard on there. Yeah, exactly. And like everything's a freaking questionnaire. Well, they're saying, you know, when you ask that question when they come to the door, so how was the sandwich I made you? If they were like, oh, good. And they gave one of those gestures I was talking about earlier. Stop. Don't continue. Stop. Don't continue. Just give it a little bit of time and do some investigating on your own. This is the example they gave. If you've got to investigate their sandwich, it's time to move out. I smell chow mein. I told you. It's creepy. I told you. I smell chow mein. Yeah, I went to lunch with Woods. I didn't put...

3:20:51chow mein on your sandwich. No, I know. I didn't have the sandwich because I went to lunch with him. But you told me that you did. I told you, but I didn't. No, they're not asking questions anymore because they're going to follow these rules. And this is what you do. A bunch of spies. You take a break after the first question. Yeah, yeah. And then he thinks he's in the clear. Make sure you're off the hook. He thinks he's in the clear. Then you come back. You come back a few hours later. You say. If this is having to take place, you might want to break up. We're not going to make it. One sandwich, two sandwich, three sandwich, four. I don't want to be like Captain Callout. I told you. But I heard Johnny talking to his fiancée last night on the phone. And he was literally. like, yeah, here's the conversation. All I could hear was his part. I'm at Woodsy's. Yeah. Yeah, we're making steaks. Yeah, we just went to the store, the three of us, me, Jamie, and Woods. Yeah, you should see their house. It's really nice. It's really cool. You want the address? Yeah, they're actually, we're all here right now. No, we're watching The Office. Swear to God, this is exactly what it is. We like to visualize. No, we're watching The Office. Then he goes,

3:21:46No, I know it's not on yet. We're watching the old offices. They actually have Cox Cable and you can get on demand. So what we did is we clicked the on demand button. We found some old ones. We're just watching and revisiting old ones. Really? Yeah. I was like, I'm looking at Johnny going, oh. Which episode is it? She's like, yeah, which episode? Oh, it's the one where Michael goes out on a date. It was really funny. You know, he put that Kangol hat on backwards and he was date Mike. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's again. What was the name of the girl in that? I don't remember. I don't remember. I'm actually on the phone. We're grilling steaks right now. And I swear I'm here. That's how it was. Was it not? Because it was Tuesday night. I just went out like an idiot. Yeah. He went out like an idiot Tuesday night. And she I found this out. She manages his money. And she was looking at it. She's like, so 2 a.m. Charge at the bar. Thirty eight dollars. What's that for? Oh, man, dude. And here's the deal. Where was I Tuesday night, Johnny? You're in bed. Sleepy. Real sweetly. Sweetly. Little angel. I had nothing to do with it. He was at the bar while you were at home sleeping here in California? Of course, yeah. He was out with his coworkers. They're here for a convention. Okay, got it. I thought he was staying with you. No. Okay, got it. Just last night. I was like, man, Fenwick's like using the key to get in your house at 3 a.m.? You're leaving. He's getting home.

3:22:59Man. All right, so once your guy thinks he's cool, he got out of the lunch question, attack him a few hours later. And you say when he's the most relaxed. Yeah, sit on his neck. Yeah. So you say. Sit on his neck and, you know, hold his forehead down. Hold his forehead down with the palm of your hand while you're sitting on his neck. I admit this is creepy. I'm just reading this to you, but it's pretty hilarious. Lauren goes, what I like to do is take my fingers like a scissor. sit on his neck and stick those scissors right into his nostrils, okay? So that he can't move. And you go, hi, sweetheart. How are you? I'm going to ask you a couple of questions, okay? While I'm holding you like a bowling ball, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions. Where were you tonight? What were you doing? No, you say a few hours later. So where was it you ended up going out to lunch? Where was it? Why? Why do you care? What, are you on the school paper? See, I don't. That would be the question. That's me. That's me. Are you writing an essay? Don't worry about it. Just answer the questions, essay. Where were you for lunch? We like to visualize. That's my... I wouldn't wait two hours and come up with a I'm going to find out if he ain't that GD sandwich. I would just be like... I wouldn't care. I wouldn't...

3:24:17make the sandwich in the first place, but I wouldn't care. Let's see how much you wouldn't care. Question me. Let's see how much you wouldn't care. About the sandwich? Yep. Okay. So, Mike, did you eat that sandwich today? Did you pack a sandwich? Yeah. Yeah, I packed it for you. I put a little post-it on there for you. You didn't see the post-it? Mm-mm. No. Really? Mm-mm. I do it every day. How did I miss it? Well, the post-it was on your forehead. I don't know. I stapled it on there real good. Yeah, if it's something that she does every day. That would be different. Oh, wow. Do you have more of them? There's a few more. Nope, that's it. Yeah. Nope, that's the last of the list. Because if there's more, I want to hear them. But I want to come back and hear the rest. How many are there? How many are there? Well, there's one more thing to do in that sandwich situation, and then they just give a short list of things to listen for. Okay, we'll do it next time. Voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949.

3:25:27Or shoot him a text. 949monkey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. You've been to the parties. Now, come to the event. Circa Now's CD release event. Tomorrow night. Rooftop of the 10th Avenue Theater downtown. Photography, DJs, fashion, and video art with the San Diego skyline as a backdrop. 21 and over. Admission is $15 and includes a copy of Circa Now's new CD, Hotter Than a Pistol. I gotta be true. First serve day of only. Circa Now with special guest Scarlet Symphony. Tomorrow night on the rooftop of the 10th Avenue Theater downtown. For more info, check out myspace.com slash circanow05. Produced by John Block. Need some great rest and relaxation? Make your next getaway to Palm Springs, California. In just a short drive, you can be teeing off on one of 118 golf courses surrounded by amazing mountain views. Or you can just hang out poolside under the palm trees without a care in the world.

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3:30:52And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm a Mexican little short guy, okay? Lauren. I'm so scared of authority, so I start crying. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. Sienna. Look how fair my skin is. I got freckles. Get out of here. And Jay. This is a paid gig. I'm 100% in. On FM 94.9. Every once in a while, Woodsy, I will hear your voice saying certain things, like, just randomly. I'll hear you go, get, get. You know? Yeah. And lately, I've been hearing you go, Lauren. You'll do that every once in a while. Lauren. Yeah, you'll do that one. And then you'll do this one where you go, it's like you're saying, sometimes you'll go, Lauren O'Brien. Yeah, I do. And I've been hearing that. Lauren O'Brien. Yeah. I say some perverted things sometimes. Some creepy, creepier stuff. But you'll make it into this kind of two-syllable thing where you'll go, Lauren. Lauren. Yeah.

3:32:01Welcome back. So let's get back to the topic of how to know when your man is lying. Yeah, let's do. Here on the Okra Winfrey Show. He has a pulse. Yeah, great. Sienna, what did you leave out? There was a couple left, right? Yeah, we were talking about the situation, whether or not the woman wants to know if the man ate the sandwich she made her for lunch when she went to work. So dumb. Only a woman would care about that, by the way. Only a woman. I go home every day with stuff that's still in my lunch. Pale. Pale. Your kiss lunchbox. Really? Does Rebecca comment on it? No. I would. No, but in my mind, I imagine that she's wondering about it. She's a busy woman. She's storing it away. And she takes time to do that. And she's like, really? Really? She's storing it away. Glad I did that. She knows. Is she? Yeah. They all do. Is she lying? It's a bit. She is. She is.

3:32:54If not, I'll store it for her. I'm glad I bust my ass to make Mike lunch and he never, ever, ever eats it. Because Jeremy must have made a burrito run again. Well, that's one thing, though, right? I mean, to be like, hey, I worked to do this and you didn't eat it. That's one thing. But it's another thing to be like, hmm, really? I wonder if he ate that sandwich. No, just file it away. And only a woman would care. Get the Dewey Decimal System going through this noggin. Well, if you got one of those reactions from your man, like he, you know, his posture changed or something when you first initially asked him whether or not he ate the sandwich. I told you to do a little snooping. Of course. Just be yourself. I didn't tell you the article told you. Let me correct myself. Who has time to become a body language expert? Women do. That's who. Women do. Go to his car. Maybe there's a receipt from In-N-Out. Yeah, sniff around the guy's personal car. Why not? Just invade the hell out of a guy's privacy. It could be a family car. It could be a family car. Maybe the car seat's in the back. You've got to get something out of the car for the baby. Maybe you do his laundry. It wouldn't hurt to go through his pockets and his wallet. I don't want that to get washed. I had to enter your pockets. You find a receipt from In-N-Out. You find a receipt from In-N-Out. Yeah, from Louise Chow Main. From me and Mikey having lunch. This is what the CIA experts say.

3:34:12Is there any reason why there's a receipt for $10 from the In-N-Out yesterday? You told me that you ate the sandwich I made you, right? I lied. I lied. I wanted a burger. Your sandwiches are terrible. So I got a burger. Why lie? Sue me. Why did you lie? Because I knew you'd make a federal case out of it as you do everything. Well, why didn't you just tell me you didn't eat it? Maybe don't ask me if I ate my sandwich. Maybe don't worry about it. I didn't ask you what you ate for lunch. We're on a budget right now. And I just made you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I was at work. I bring home the bacon. Don't worry about it. Yeah, so was I. And I was taking care of your child while I made you the sandwich. Both kids in both arms. Wow. Wow. You were pretty promiscuous back in the day. Zach. Zach. Okay. Here are the signs of deception. This is what you need to be listening for. Watching that. It was like watching a tennis game. It was like 40, love. That would be Sienna and I in a relationship. Yeah. That was great. It was very good. I mean, both of you had very good responses immediately.

3:35:13Maybe you don't care about it, really. Maybe I worked on it for a while, really. Maybe I was the one that earned it. Maybe you're a lunatic. Maybe get the I get. Okay, these are the things you want to listen for, the signs of deception. Maybe he's stalling for time. Can we talk about this later? Oh, boy, you'd never say that, idiot. Yeah, right? You'd be a moron. Let me think about it. Let me go get a drink real quick. I'll be right back. It's the old, oldest Eddie Murphy bit. I saw your car in front of her house. Wasn't me. I saw you walk down the street with that woman. Hey, wasn't me. And then 20 minutes later, maybe it wasn't you. Deny, deny, deny. Okay, here is Woods. Defensiveness. Listen for defensiveness. I'm always defensive, though. I don't have to answer that. That's what you would say. I don't have to answer that. I'm always defensive. I'm always on the defensive. Whether I'm lying, whether I'm not lying, I'm always defensive. What are you chewing? A pen cap or a bottle cap. He's nervous right now. Not nervous. He's hungry. Listen for except we just ate. Yeah, we just had breakfast once. I'd still be hungry.

3:36:22That's fantastic. Okay, listen for excuses like him saying, I would never do that or I would never jeopardize our relationship. Wouldn't you? By the way, stalling for time by saying, can we talk about this later? Yeah. You might as well say, can we immediately stop talking about this so that we never talk about it again? Yeah. Because my pulse, my heart rate is about to explode me. Explode me. Lauren would never. People say that. Maybe it's a New Jersey thing. What's wrong with that? Brooklyn thing. Yeah. Lauren would not, Lauren doesn't handle the can we not talk right now bit. Oh, heck no. She doesn't go for that. I'd follow you and be like, why not now? Yeah, well, how about right now? We're here. Yeah. Yeah, why don't we talk about it right now? I think we should talk about it now. What do you say? I am a detective. Why? I'm just, I'm very perceptive. Are you? Yeah. I will be like. Matt was at my place yesterday and there was the pomegranate juice level had dipped down like a milliliter. And I was like, I saw you took a swig of that. And he goes, you're unbelievable. You said what? I said, I saw you took a swig of that. I went back to. She noticed that he drank some of the juice in the refrigerator. Down like that much. And I was like, she's holding up a centimeter. Yeah. A centimeter. A millimeter.

3:37:50So he obviously drank out of the thing. Yeah, like took a swig of it, put it back in the fridge. And you noticed. And she caught him. I was like back in the refrigerator looking for something else. I'm like, oh, no, she took a swig of that. Why? Okay, question, question. That is crazy. Who cares? How did you notice? I just know things. But who cares? I don't care. Lauren, do you ever do this, though? Because I do this sometimes. Do you ever do the thing where you're 100% positive that you know what's up and then it turns out that you didn't have it? Has that happened? Nope. No. Really? It has. It has. No, it has not. Really? Yeah, I'm sure it has. I can't think of a time. Of course not. See, because I'll do that sometimes. I'll think I have it figured out, but I don't. Which would be crazy. You don't have women's intuition, Michael. Really? A little bit. It's a true thing. It really is. These little boots have a little women's intuition. Plenty of women's intuition. Another sign of deception that you need to be listening for. Searching for specifics. When the guy says, what's your point? What are you trying to figure out? That's me. To a T. Why? Why? What do you want? Yeah, but that's a sign of deception. It's not a sign of deception. It's a sign of me saying, do you really have to question me about everything I do? And I'm not, this is not in any way specific to Jamie at all.

3:39:10This is women in general. This is every woman I've ever dated. Let me just remind you that the things I'm reading are from a former ex-CIA polygraph examiner. Doesn't this clown have better things to do, maybe like catching terrorists, than worry about 10 signs? He's retired. Woods is now upset at the retired CIA agent who's helping AOL.com. All right, you want to listen for the what ifs. What if I said yes? What if I said I did go? What are you going to do? What if I said that? Wow. Then it's like, oh, no, you better not. You just dug your own grave. You do that, right? What if? What if I do? Yeah. What if I didn't? Maybe I did. What are you going to do? Yeah. Maybe keep your eyes on the paper. Yeah, maybe you don't ask me about it anymore. Maybe we talk about it later. Maybe you worry about what's on your plate. Yeah, worry about what you got going. I don't ask you anything. Listen for if he tries to pull the amnesia bit. No, I don't even remember. I don't. Not to the best of my knowledge. I mean, I don't really know. I don't really know what you're talking about. What do you even... What's important? I don't know. Why? I'm not doing anything. I always get roasted. You make me have to be some old, blind creep. I do not. It's just funny. Hey, listen. Kid comes to work. He works hard. Kid goes home. He goes to sleep.

3:40:30That's what I do. Kids slam some sleep. That's what I do. Woods is looking at me as if I was Jamie right now because we're all like liaisons. We're all part of the legions. Yeah. I go home and go to bed. Okay. Don't worry about me. Yeah, I do. Dude. Yes, I do. She is like, can we get out? We've been here a week. We have not left the house yet. I'm like, well, I left the house to go to work and then I come home and I want to go to sleep. She's like, oh, this is a very exciting life. We're leading up here. San Diego's beautiful. It's almost like being on the hills. This next one makes me upset when guys do it. The guilt twist. I thought you trusted me. What's the problem? Why are you making a problem out of nothing? They call that the turnaround. Yeah. You do the flip it. Do you girls ever get the turnaround? Todd's so good at the turnaround. I'm the master of the turnaround. He's so good at it. I'm like, oh. Women are good at it, too. Are we? Why would you ask me something like that? That is absolutely ridiculous. You know, I'm glad. Do you not trust me? I'm glad you're asking that because it kind of tells me a little bit about who you are. Tells me a little bit about you. Oh, that's brilliant, Michael. Tells me a little bit about who you are. Yeah, guys are good at that. So now I see. Okay, I get it now. I'm not going to say anything. I get it. How about this one? Wow. Wow. I didn't expect that. That really came out of left field. That's really disappointing. The best. The disappointment bit. The disappointment bit. You.

3:41:57This is for Garrett, by the way. Maybe you do a little request. Yeah, let's do a little special request going out to Garrett. This is Hall & Oates. It's called Sarah Smile. Hope you enjoy it, Garrett. 98.5k wave. Nice! Want to know some ways that we can watch little stuff we're eating, eat a little less? You want to know what I want to know? 10 size your woman is lying. Oh, look it up, Sienna. That's what I want to know. Look it up, Sienna. Yeah, woman. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. I'm ready. Call 570-1949. Keep going all day. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com.

3:42:47This is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Summer is here and Ombac and Miller Lite invite you to the 57th coming out party Saturday, May 15th at Mariner's Point. Starring Revolution, Cowboy Mouth, Fishbone and more. Plus the Miss Mission Beach contest. Gates at noon. $10 presale at Ombac.org. Beers on the beach and seven live bands. Plus Miss Mission Beach. Go to OMBAC.org for your $10 online ticket before they're gone. That's Ombac.org. OMBAC.org. You know what Sunday is, right? It's Mom's Day. Who could forget? Now time for the hard part. Finding the right gift. Here's an idea. Head down to Sportchalate and let their gift-giving experts make it easy to find the perfect gift for Mom. From active wear to that new Reebok Easy Tone shoe everybody's talking about. So no matter what she's into, you'll find something for Mom at Sportchalate. Giving Mom a new wireless phone on Mother's Day is smart. Giving mom a new wireless phone from Verizon on Mother's Day? That, my friends, is smarter. Seriously, from sunrise to sweet dreams, she runs the family. Doesn't she deserve the best network? I thought so. The truth is, when you want your network to work, you want Verizon. And now, don't miss great gifts under $30, like the fully capable, ultra-portable Gateway LT netbook. Now, only $29.99 after $100 mail-in rebate debit card.

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3:45:43Mother's Day is this Sunday and Pro Flowers is offering an amazing Mother's Day special. A beautiful bouquet of one dozen stunning roses bursting with spring colors for just $19.99. Plus a free glass vase with every order. Just visit proflowers.com, click on the microphone in the upper right corner, and enter the secret code 1188. These one dozen gorgeous Mother's Day roses are the perfect way to show all the moms in your life how much you appreciate them. Moms love flowers, and she'll love these colorful spring roses guaranteed to stay beautiful for at least seven full days. Plus, get a free glass vase with every order, all for just $19.99. But hurry, this special offer ends Friday. Mother's Day is this Sunday, and it's your last chance to take care of mom. The only way you can get your last chance Mother's Day offer is to visit ProFlowers.com. Click on the microphone in the upper right corner and enter the secret code 1188. That's ProFlowers.com secret code 1188. This is a special announcement to all U.S. citizens currently struggling with medical bills and credit card debt. Laws approved by the United States Congress now may eliminate 100% of your medical bills and credit card debt.

3:46:52This program is now available to U.S. citizens provided by the Chapter 7 Bankruptcy Act, which entitles you to a fresh start as our economy turns around. For more information and to qualify for your fresh start through this federally approved program, call the American Bankruptcy Hotline now. Number to call is 800-3040-661. 800-3040-661. Again, that's 800-3040-661. One more time, 800-3040-661. The Home Depot has low prices on hanging baskets and container plants. There's a fresh idea for Mother's Day. Fresh blooming flowers that will last all season long. So you can fill mom's heart with joy and her garden with color. All without emptying your pockets. Thanks to those vibrant hanging baskets and container plants that you picked up for such a great low price at the Home Depot. More saving. More doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. At Pickup Sticks, we walk everything fresh when you order it. And not a minute sooner.

3:48:16So your meal is always hot, fresh, and delicious. But at those other places, the food sits around and waits for you. And waits, and waits, and waits. Why settle for food that's been hanging around? Come to Pick Up Sticks and order from our Dragon Deals value menu, where you choose from six tasty meals like our delicious crispy honey chicken special for just $4.99 each. Pick Up Sticks, let us walk something fresh for you. Now, more of The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Death Capricutti. Soul meets body. So Sienna found the top ten signs that your lady is lying to you. I did a little googling over the commercial break. What's that all about? What does it say? What should Woods tell it? You don't have Woods read it? Yeah, Mr. Defensive. Here you go. What do you got? Sign number one. That she is lying to you. Swallowing. She goes...

3:50:00Wow. Like if you ask a question. Did you eat the sandwich? I made you. I have so many crass things running through my head. I don't even know where it starts. Sign number two that she's lying to you. Licking those lips. Again, more crass. I would do that though. I would do that. I mean. Go on. While your girl may occasionally lick her lips seductively in order to get your motor running, licking her lips may also be a sign of telling a fib. This is because another side effect of stress is decreased saliva production. Really? She might also clench her jaw on you, Mike. Why not guys, though? Why don't guys do that? Why do just women? Why do just women? I don't think it's specific to women. Okay. This is the same bit. Selective memory. Answering with questions is always genius. Where were you? Where were you? Where were you? Hiding her hands. Really? Pupil dilation. Whoa. I know what I do when I'm nervous. What? I bite the inside of my mouth. Really?

3:51:14I like chew. I mean, it's a nervous habit of mine. And Todd knows it. Tiana's like, I cleaned my gun. No, I do. You'll notice me doing it. I can't eat. Number 10. Really? They really put that on there and expect me to read it? Let me see. Let me see. I didn't get all the way. Okay. You asked me to get it. Come on. How many minutes did I have to find this? I Googled. I printed. Somebody is trying to kill me. Really? Number 10? It's because you have a... Okay, I'll read it. No. Wait, is there an example? Give it to me. Give it to me. Maybe there's an example. People will give me the paper. Woodsy. I do number 10. Okay, well, no. Okay, so basically she may start to fiddle with something in her hand in an effort to dispel her nervous energy. I do that. She may be rubbing or otherwise touching her own arms. Mm-hmm. But I can't even tell you. I know. I know. But like, you know, maybe looking at her fingernails and messing with her fingernails. I do that. Guys do that, too. Everyone does that. Everyone does. Nervousness. It's fidgety. Woods, grow up, Peter Pan. Grow up. Let's see. You can't save him. Yes, I can. You're fine. It's fine. We're good. It's fine. Really? You're fine. Okay. He's coming out of his skin. Is he? Yeah. Well, there it is. That's how we know.

3:52:39Hey, what is, why is, here's my question. Okay. Why is this lottery winner making news? What's the deal? This guy and his wife randomly chose six numbers in the Southern California lotto. And they won $266 million. Wow. Here in California? Yeah, Southern California. Wow. Peanuts, Michael Peanuts. Yeah, I found that on the couch. And they were, you know, interviewed and stuff like that and asked all about. you know, about their lives and what they're going to do with this money. And the guy was just laid off. He just lost his job. And the woman works at night at NBC LA. She's a newswoman. And I guess she found out she got the tickets. She may have had the winning numbers. She called her husband. He was home sleeping. She woke him up, made him read the ticket numbers like 50 times. Are you sure? Are you sure? And then they freaked out, and now they get to decide whether to take a one-time payment of about $165 million or choose annual payments over the next 25 years. No, take the money and run. I don't know. I kind of like the annual payment. Pay your taxes on it and then get. This is the lady that won, Jackie Cisneros. I probably will continue working for as long as KNBC will allow me. I can't.

3:53:52I can't imagine not working. It seems kind of, it's a foreign concept to me. And this is her husband. His name is Gilbert Cisneros. She said she had a craving for KFC. And all I could think about was that double-decker chicken sandwich. And I'm like, I don't want that. You can afford it now. So she told me, she goes, well, then you're on your own for dinner. And actually, I was in downtown L.A., so my first thought was, You know what? I think I'm going to go get some Mexican food down at Alvarez Street. But driving around looking for parking, the parking there was like $8. And I'm like, I'm not going to pay that for parking. So you ended up at the barbecue joint and the rest is history. L&L Hawaiian Barbecue. I ended up over there. I ordered my food. And you know what? Let me have 10 lotto tickets too. They sell lotto tickets there apparently. No kidding. Chose six random numbers. Dude. One. And now is a millionaire. So crazy. I mean. The odds are so astronomical that that'll ever happen, and dude did it. What would you do? Would you quit? If I won the lotto, no, I wouldn't. I don't think I, I don't, you know what I would do? I'd buy the station and move us to midday so I could sleep in. So you could sleep? Yeah. Maybe afternoons.

3:55:09The Mikey Show, 3 to 7. 3 to 3.30. I wouldn't quit, though, because I love it. I do, too. I don't think I could quit. I love doing it. It would be boring to not have some responsibilities, you know? You could hire people to do all your work. I'd be dead in three days. Three days. I would take a vacation. I would take a little time off. Yeah. I'd really have to think about it, though. If I was going to keep the job, I'd really have to think about it because I know that people would flip out with Best of for three weeks. Whatever, man. I'm done. We could broadcast from my island. That'd be cool. Fair enough. Broadcast from my island. So there it is. 570-1949 is our number. And at the beginning and end of every show, we do open phones. So you can call about anything you want right now. Also want to remind you. that the Mikey Show Invitational is happening on Thursday, and the bidding is going to end in a day. We're bidding at MikeyShow.com. You can go there and look for the Mikey Show Invitational. We're going to be playing golf, and if you'd like to be in the foursome in front of us or behind us, you can bid on it. All the money going to Rady Children's Hospital, ADI, the Autism Discovery Institute, and it's going to be cool. We're going to tee off at noon, and if you win to play in one of those foursomes,

3:56:30Then you will get a lunch, and it's going to be really cool. But no matter what, we're going to be out there and having a good time hanging with listeners. Also, Friday, we're doing a meet and greet. And so if you would like to meet us at the meet and greet, we'd love to see you. It's going to be at Hoolies Irish Pub in La Mesa, 5500 Grossmont Center Drive in La Mesa. We're going to be out there from 5 to 7 p.m. on Friday. And it's your opportunity to come by and say hi to all of us. We'll all be out there. And it's going to be a really good time. All ages. Yeah, so you can bring kids. After work, stop by. It's going to be really good. It's going to be very fun. So we would love to see you do that. Let's see. M1 Scottish Asian. What's up? Hey. What's up? Hey. Yesterday was my birthday, man. I just wanted to know if you could give me a little bit of a happy birthday. Happy birthday. Is that M1 Hawk? No. Oh. No, but... Why would that be my Hawk? I don't know. My Hawk. Is my dad a Scottish Asian? No. He wasn't doing the Scottish Asian a minute ago when I talked to him. Yeah, exactly. That was obviously a made-up hack. Yeah. Well, it was kind of Scottish, but kind of Mexican, which is strange. Hey, Mikey. It was kind of not Scottish Asian, though. Let's see. All right, end of the show on Friday. I give you my testimony. I missed it, buddy.

3:57:56Yeah, man, it's been a while. I haven't told, I haven't given you my testimony for a while. And sometimes the thought behind my testimony is not necessarily all of the kind of sad parts of my testimony. In fact, there is a lot of joy in my testimony. And lately I've been feeling it more than ever. And I want to share that with you too. The deal is, is that I grew up and... I grew up in an environment that I felt really bad about myself growing up. And I had really low self-esteem growing up. And I never experienced any kind of peacefulness as I was growing up. I never experienced joy as I was growing up. What I experienced all through my younger teenage years and through my 20s was fear. I experienced so much fear. Fear of everything. Fear of the dark. Fear of everything you could possibly imagine. Fear of rejection, fear of being lonely, fear of being alone, fear of being rejected. I went through just a lifetime of fear. And maybe as you're listening to me, you can relate to it. I got to become addicted to alcohol. And when I was in my early 30s, I was completely addicted to alcohol. And I couldn't stop drinking. I gave my life.

3:59:25to Jesus Christ. In 2005, I found a Bible in my dad's office and started reading it and it changed my life. I tell you my story because there may be something that you hear in my story that reminds you of you. You may be going through addiction. You may be going through depression. You may be going through some sort of eating disorder that has ruined your life that people don't know about. That's why I tell you what I tell you. We have a website, mikeyshow.com. If you go to it, there's a little section that you can click on called the help section. If you click on that, it'll give you resources to all those things that I've mentioned. When I did that, when that thing happened where I accepted God into my life, I have to tell you, it didn't change everything in terms of life just getting good. That's not what happened. That was not... One of the byproducts like life just got good and life just got happy. That is not what happened at all. In fact, life kept throwing curveballs at me. Life continues to throw curveballs. The difference is that I was armed up in a way that I used to not be armed up in. I've never shared this story with you. When everything went down that went down back in December, it was one of the two.

4:01:11most traumatic events that have ever happened in my life. And I was shaken to my core. Never been shaken like that before, except for one other time. And every morning I would get up and I'd go drive around. I would just drive. And I would spend a lot of time with God during those times. I leaned on him more than anything else. And I can tell you from my own personal experience that he filled me. with a sense of comfort that I've never experienced before, ever in my life. In fact, I feel it even now. And I played a song while I was driving around. I was playing the new Switchfoot album. I would listen to the new Switchfoot album while I was driving. And one morning I was out and I was driving around and I was listening to this song from the new Switchfoot album. Have you ever had a time where tears weren't just streaming down your face? It was as if they're

4:02:21popping out of your eyes. They were spilling. They were spilling over my eyes. And the lyrics to the song were as if God were talking right to me. That's what the words to this song were like. I thought many times before ever coming on the air because I had so many mornings where I would listen to those lyrics. And I had days and days, even weeks, before I was going to be starting on the air here at FM 94.9. And I thought many times, I'm going to play that song. I'm going to play that song. And I never did until today. Today's the first time I'm going to play it. And the reason that I wanted to play it for you is because I was so lost and I was so broken in those days. And I heard that song, first half of that song, because it's written from two perspectives. And the first half of it, I really felt.

4:03:27was something that God would be saying to me. And so I want you to listen to it with those ears if you're going through a time right now where you're struggling, where you feel alone, where you feel that you don't have hope. I want you to hear the song from that perspective and know that I care very deeply about it. And you can go to MikeyShow.com and click on that help section and get help from it. This song is called Always. This is the star. This is your heart. This is the day. This is the sun. He's all your love. About the music all day and night. FM 94.9. It's about the music.