The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/10/10

0:00KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. One Nation on a Monday. Real good. It was a restful weekend. I'm feeling really good. We got five people on The Mikey Show. We got myself, I'm Mikey, I'm the host of the show. And we got Woodsy, he's our sports guy. We got Lauren O'Brien, she's our assistant producer. We got... Sienna, our news girl. We got Jay, our producer. And we got you, the M1 Nation. M1s are people that listen exclusively to The Mikey Show. When you call in, you turn your radio down. Get to the point. You don't cuss. That's what makes you an M1. You are a part of this growing thing called the M1 Nation. And we want to hear from you. So call us right now. 570-1949. That's our number.

2:39Text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Welcome to the show. We got so much. Yesterday was Mother's Day. Everybody call their mom, do their thing with their moms. We went to send a package to my mom, and, of course, we waited until the last minute. And the lady said, it's got to be $122 to have it there by Monday. I was like, eh, mom's going to wait until Tuesday. Really? So I called her and told her that I'm a slacker. That's a lot of dough. A lot of dough. That's a lot of dough for a package to be sent. Yep. Welcome to the program. Lots of cool things to tell you about. Iron Man doing so good at the box office. Tell you that in a second. How about Betty White on Saturday Night Live? Amazing. Just killing it. And then also, you know, we should talk about is Friday. Woodsy went to charger practice. I did. Got to check out charger practice. It was the rookie orientation. And dude, it was a blast. So we'll talk about that here in just a second too. And don't forget the Mikey Invitational is happening on Thursday. Bidding closed. And it's all done. We got our foursomes all set. Did you guys go practice this weekend? Oh, wow.

3:56That was a tough question. You guys were talking about it every day last week. Yeah. Did you go hit some balls? We need to go hit some balls. Yeah, definitely, Woodsy. Let's go hit some balls. We got to do it. We got to do it. Got to. Got to do it. Clown. Idiot. He lives a minute and a half from me, and we still haven't done it. Yeah, we even saw each other. Yeah, Saturday. But didn't. Did you guys talk about it? Yeah. We did. Yeah, we did. We actually did. We said, dude, we got to hit some balls. We didn't. We haven't hit anything. Yeah. Yeah. My friend that brought it up, CB, my friend Chris that brought it up, saw him Saturday night. Yep. And he had that look on his face like, you're a clown. Yeah, you guys are idiots. Because he goes, have you been practicing? And I go, uh-uh. No. And he did this stretch thing. He goes, you know, he did the nod. Like, what's up? Okay. And he had this look on his face like, no humor. Like, you're an idiot. Yeah. He's on your team, right? Yeah. So he'll kind of help out. He might, but he just thinks I'm a slacker, which I am. I was talking to Rebecca, too. Rebecca's like, well, gee, I thought the point was for Mike to take four lessons and then do some practicing, too. I was like, yeah, that definitely was what we were supposed to do, but it's yet to happen. Yet to happen. Yet to happen. Never. We have never hit balls outside of meeting with Lee at Carlsbad Golf Center. What about you ladies? Have you ever done it? Yeah. Yeah?

5:17It's harder than it looks. I've done miniature golf. Really? It's harder than it looks. I was actually watching Happy Gilmore with my brother, I don't know, 10 years ago. And there's this scene where the woman's putting all of her effort into it and she barely hits it off the tee. And I'm like, it's so unbelievable. That would never happen. He's like, really? So after the movie, he was like, come on, let's go. We went to the driving range. that bad you weren't that bad it it is harder than it looks and it's all about the finesse and the technique and everything but i thought i could just like whack it because i used to play field hockey so i'm like i'll just yeah i'll just whack it what happened uh it rolled like yeah yeah it's hard dude it's a hard hard game i watched uh you know golf this weekend on tv these are professionals they can't they're not that great at it no they're professionals they're not very good at it in a lot of cases I'm like, these guys do it for a living. What am I going to do? You know what I mean? Me and my little boots. Yep. I'm not going to be on TV, though, at least. I know. Thank goodness. I saw Tin Cup when I went to the gym on Saturday. It was on the little TV. And I was, like, thinking about you guys. Thinking about little boots up there? Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm nervous. You are? Yeah.

6:32What are you nervous about? You can golf. I suck at golf. Yeah, but you can golf. You can get the job done. You've been out on a golf course before. Fair enough. I've never golfed. I've never been. There's a wild card in our foursome. His name's Jay Isbell. Really? I want to know what this guy's bringing to the table. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. Watch Jay be just awesome. I know. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. Jay, have you golfed multiple times? Write that down. Oh, yeah, I've golfed a ton. I mean, it doesn't mean I'm any good, but, you know. Can you get around? Oh, I can get around. For sure I can get around, yeah. I hit it in the middle, usually. Good. All right. Well, it's best ball, so we'll be okay. Best ball means that everybody takes a shot to the green. Yeah. And the best one closest to the green is the one that everybody tees up from. It's all for charity, just as long as you guys get out there and try your best. That's right. All right? Kids. That's right. Yeah. What, he just pounded himself in the chest because he already got heartburned. Oh, I'm dying. Wow. Let me tell you something. Santa, did you know that he eats like probably 50 Tums a day? Yeah, I do. I sit next to him. They hang out of his backpack. Maybe see a doctor. That's what I've said. Maybe see a doctor. It's in his family. They don't go to the doctor. They don't go to the doctor. The kid doesn't see the doctor. Grow up, Peter Pan. Yeah. So he just eats those Tums. Is that your brand, Tums, or is it something else? Tums, you know that. Yeah, he says Rolaids doesn't work. They don't have an effect on them. I could eat 100 of them, they don't work.

7:58He's got to have something real strong. And I've said to him, why not go get something that's prescription-based? Nah. I have some. I like Tums. They're delicious. I like them for the calcium. I haven't had them in a long time. There we go. He's got a fresh pack of Tums today. Here you go, kid. Iron Man. Talk to me about Iron Man. Would you be surprised if I told you it was the number one movie over the weekend? Of course I wouldn't. No, no, no. Would you be surprised? Okay. Do you think Iron Man beat out The Dark Knight? That's what everyone was saying. Is it going to beat out The Dark Knight opening weekend? Yeah, because Iron Man 2, this movie that just came out, was anticipated to be the biggest blockbuster of the summer ever. And I would say that yes, it definitely beat out The Dark Knight. You would be wrong. Really? Oh my gosh. Oh, my God. I'm surprised, too. The Dark Knight made $158.4 million since opening weekend. And Iron Man made $133.6. That's all right. Which is still amazing. Still really good. Yeah. But, yes, Spider-Man 3 also beat out Iron Man 2. Twilight's new moon. And Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest, all beat out Iron Man 2. They did? Mm-hmm. Wow. Good news. Lauren's anti-Iron Man. I've got a personal vendetta against Iron Man 2. What's your deal with Iron Man? Where's your bid?

9:19What's your deal? It's so good. Because you guys are, like, forcing it down my throat. I was at my parents' house yesterday for Mother's Day, and I brought my laptop to do, you know, some show prep while I was there, and they popped in Iron Man 1 because most of my family hasn't seen it, and they don't want to see Iron Man 2 without it. So it was on, and I didn't pay attention at all. Because it was on again last night, and I watched it again. It's good. And it's brilliant. Surprised it didn't just grab your attention, Sienna. I mean, I looked up a couple times and I was like, wow, Robert and Johnny Jr. is pretty hot. I know it. L.O.B. slays me. This is a deal that I've learned with L.O.B. You don't oversell it with her. Otherwise, if you tell her she's going to love something, she's like, I'm not going to love it. Just to show you that you don't hate it. You don't know me. You know what I mean? Did you guys see the reviews already out on Iron Man 2? No, I did see one comment, but what did you see? They're saying there's just no storyline. A lot of star power, no storyline. Weird.

10:16That bothers me. That bothers me too. Yeah, it killed me. Do you guys care at all about Robert Downey Jr.'s workout? Like how he got in shape? Well, he was just finishing Sherlock Holmes by the time they started filming this, where he only weighed 150 pounds. What? Yeah, I'm trying to find the exact... Lucky, lucky. No, that's gross. He's just shredded. 151 pounds in Sherlock Holmes. That seems really small. I wonder how tall he is. I don't know, but... Probably at least six feet tall. He went way down in my book when I found that out. And in three to four weeks, his trainer got him up to 175 pounds. Instead of doing regular... Of muscle? Yeah. Instead of doing regular bench presses, he said that they used a bamboo bar, which they would hang plates on rubber bands off of the bar. So it was like trying to bench press. Can't say it. Say it. Bench press. A snake. They said it was reminiscent, Mike, of the workout that Rocky did in Rocky IV. Remember where he was pulling that sled in the tuck in Russia and doing those chin-ups from that old wood bar? How awesome is that? I know. He also had to push a custom-built wheelbarrow that they modified with 600, 700-pound weight stacks on it, and he had to push it around an obstacle course. There was all kinds of crazy stuff he had to do. So he's just cut in this movie.

11:35I want to do that workout. I do, too. I was also at the gym. I saw an infomercial for P90X, and I was like, considering it. Me, too. I've considered it a million times. I've never done anything about it. We do it as a show, P90X. Nope, nope, nope. What is Sienna going to do? She's pregnant. She can't do P90X. I wouldn't do it if I wasn't. You wouldn't? Let's just put her in the wheelbarrow. We'll push her around. Yeah, exactly. We've got to bench press Sienna. I would consider it. Yeah. I'd consider doing it as a show. I'd never take action, if we're being honest, but I'll consider it a lot and give it serious thought. Give it serious thought. I want to do a drastic training this summer. There's a guy in Cardiff who wants us all to come out. He's begging us. Robert is begging us to come out to this Cardiff place. And Kim's gone a couple times, and he just kills her. Really? He just drives her into the ground. Where do I sign? Hey, do you want to be fit or do you want to be there? Kim is like really in shape. I'd rather be fat. I kind of like the idea of not just being in shape but being like ripped. Sounds cool. I'm in my last year of my 20s and I want to go out looking good. There you go. Maybe I'll get some HGH. You know what I like? Just taking nice casual strolls.

12:49Is that what you like? So much nicer. Raisin Bran on the couch. That sounds pretty good. Dude, I'm telling you, surfing. I went again on Saturday. I woke up Sunday and I was like... And I had to go play ball. It was rough. Surfing is a workout. At least you're doing something, pal. You're out there doing something. M1 Burrow, are you there? Burrow. Hello, Burrow. Hi, you. What are you doing? Just chugging on into work, checking the surf on the way down PCH. Is it big or is it small? It's junky. The wind's on it already. Hey, you got a cure for Woodsy for his heartburn, right? I do. My wife turned me on to this papaya extract. It just kills heartburn like in seconds. Lauren's got some next to me. Yeah, of course. It's weird because I'm just pulling it out of my wallet. As soon as you said that, M1 bro, Woodsy winced like, ugh, ugh. No, it even tastes good. It's crazy. You don't have to swallow. You just chew it up. It tastes like fruity pebbles. You know what I think? I think the whole heartburn and woods is just a scam. There's not a bit. He has his thing with smoking and chew. He has to have something at all times, so he pops those tums. Doesn't matter. And it's just another excuse. No, I've made him pull over before because I've been like, Mikey, pull over. Here's what I know. I know that your deal is.

14:14For sure real, but I think that Sienna hit on it without even knowing it. Oral fixation. I believe that part of your heartburn has to do with smoking. Of course. And chewing. Yeah, there's no question it comes from both. Yeah. They're both delicious. It's another addiction. And good for you. Hey, Burrow. Yeah, yeah. It's liquid, right? No, no. It's chewable. Chewable, yeah. Would you do chewable? Yeah. Papaya extract? Try anything. Maybe I pick them up some from Henry's. Yeah, make that right. Make it right, LB. It sounds kind of delicious. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Shariah, M1 Shariah, you there? Something must be wrong with our phones today. Darth Vader. Shariah? Yeah. Hi, sweetheart. Hi. What are you doing? I'm driving to work. Everything all right? Yeah. Okay, you were calling about the heartburn thing too, right? You got something that is... You got something that's over the counter. Yeah, my nutritionist told me that I probably have acid reflux, and so he told me to take Prilosec, OTC. Did it work? You didn't get it at, like, Walmart or any drugstore. Did it work? Yeah, it worked really well. Woodsy, why are you shaking your head no? Tried it. Didn't work? Didn't work. Ow. Tom's is, like, immediate relief for me. Hey, Shariah, I guess he's got some real particular belly acids.

15:42Yeah, it's not immediate relief, but it's long-term work. There you go. You start it, Woodsy. You keep taking it. You keep taking it for... You wouldn't do both. You know why I wouldn't do both? I've heard that, actually. They say that if you take both of them at the same time, you're neutralizing too much acid and you're doing the opposite effect, then you've got a new problem. Oh, perfect. But they do say... I just remembered it when she said it. With Prilosec, it takes a couple of weeks to build up in your body, and then you're good to go. Then it heals you. It heals you. You don't have any more issues. Maybe you change your diet. Yeah. Maybe don't worry about it. Maybe get to the source of what's happening. That's right. Hey, thank you for the call, by the way, M1 Shariah. We appreciate you. Betty White was on Saturday Night Live over the weekend. Yeah. And this has been a... Long time coming because it became a like a Facebook phenomenon to get her. It was a campaign on Facebook. Yeah. And to see how many followers they could get and fans of Betty White. And, you know, if they got to a certain amount, SNL was going to consider it. But once they saw how everyone was so in on Betty White, they were absolutely all about having her on the show. So finally, she hosted SNL on Saturday and it was the highest ratings in over 18 months. I bet it was. Number one program of the night.

17:00Jeez, man. Here she was in her monologue. I have so many people to thank for being here, but I really have to thank Facebook. She's so cute. I know. I didn't know what Facebook was. And now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time. say that people on it are losers. But that's only because I'm polite. People say, but Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends. Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends, I need a Ouija board. That's brilliant. That is brilliant.

17:52Do they write their own stuff, or do the Saturday Night Live writers write it for them? I don't think they write their own stuff. No, I think it's, she's 88. I'm sure that they did most money. But she delivers so well. Fantastic. She said something. I was dying laughing. I mean, tears. She goes, ladies and gentlemen, Jay-Z is here. She goes, if I had a dime for every time I'd said that, I'd have one dime. That is beautiful. Oh, that's awesome. Her little voice is just the cutest. She is the perfect storm of comedy because she's always been that PTA-looking lady. Always. She's always been an old lady. A little old sweet lady. She's been that since 1922. For 40 years. For 40 years she's been that. And then bursts out with these crazy lines. Oh, and she was... Dirty. Like, her skits in this thing were dirty. That's her bit. She's a dirty little bird. At times, she can get a little blue. M1 Oside's on the line. Has some advice about the heartburn. Oh, great. This is going to be good. Oside. Hello. Hi. Hey, Mikey. What's up, man? Not too much, dude. What do you got? Hey, I'm loving your show, man. Thank you. I had some advice for a withy. Go ahead. Well, I'm 6'1". I used to weigh about 247.

19:13And I had really bad acid reflux and heartburn all the time. And I lost about 50 pounds. I'm just under 200 now. Nice. And I don't get it anymore at all. What'd you do? I just started working out more, watching what I was eating, and lost the weight. And ever since I lost the weight, I don't have a problem anymore. You lost Woodsy at working out more and watching what you were eating. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to offend Woodsy. You know, he's a good guy and stuff. Don't make him upset about his weight. It's a big factor. I'm like 6'1". I started working out, watching what I ate. I lost a lot of weight. I'm like 6'1", probably 215. I could probably drop 15, 20 pounds. I mean, even just 20 pounds. You'd be surprised with the differences, man. It's amazing. But see, I had this. I've always had it. I had it when I was skinny. Maybe. Have you been blasting cigs? Yeah, I've always blasted cigs. Yeah, he was seven when he started blasting the cigs. You know what I mean? It's hard to... Blasting six. So great. It is. I'm telling you, man, it's hard. Well, it's not hard for somebody like Jay and Lauren because they can train themselves. And they're perfect. Yes. Perfect, though. They live in a perfect world, yeah. Definitely not. I got booted out of there a long time ago. I sure do love the taste of stuff that isn't good for you. Me too, dude. So good. How come those Cinnabons have to taste like that? Why don't they taste like broccoli?

20:32How come broccoli doesn't taste like a Cinnabon? Why? I know. Why does it have to be that way? How come the stuff that really helps you to be fit is like... Disgusting. It doesn't taste that great. You know what I've done? I've cut out fast food. Yeah, that's good. I don't eat fast food at all. Now that the wife's here, we eat. I mean, we may not be eating tofu and whatever, but at least it's home cooked meals and it's not crap from Mickey D's. Good. Got to start somewhere. Yeah. So cut that out. I'm cutting back on the sodas, even though I knocked out about nine Dr. Peppers this week. That's cutting back. When I see old friends that have dropped 20 pounds, I think of them like a superhero. Yeah. I'm like, wow, you can do stuff I can't do. And I know I can't. What it should be is, wow, you're willing to go to some really powerful lengths. I got a wedding, big wedding that I'm in in June. I got to go on a crash deal because I'm fat. We're getting in shape. I got to do it. Woodsy, would you do P90X? Maybe. Would you do LOBX?

21:35If I just put you on a diet and a workout regimen for the next month. Zero percent. I don't want her diet. She eats dirt. She wouldn't even eat a Dorito. P90X, have you seen the commercials? Yeah, my buddy's on it. The guy who's wedding. I'm at Fenwick. He's on it? Yeah, he's dropping 40 pounds. Oh, I think he meant the commercial. I was like, cool. No, he's on P90X. It's hardcore. It's hardcore. I'm going to join the Y. I'm going to start working out every day after work. Drop the sodas. And I'll drop the sodas. I'll be fine. And go surfing on the weekends. I'll be good to go. Yeah, I dropped the sodas. That's good. I lost 750 pounds in the last two weeks. How have you been doing? Because you drink a lot of water now. I mean, that's really good. I've put on about four pounds. It takes a little while for that stuff, the collection of non-empty calories to add up. I really wish that there were a place, I've said this before, a place that was really popular that served stuff that was healthy. Because I went to the mall on Saturday and I was really hungry. Apple store. So I went to the food court. And it's just jam-packed with healthy items. Is it? No. Oh. Funnel case. She's buying everything. She's the most gullible person.

22:53I'm like, and I had to drive forever because it's on Mars, and she's like, how did they do it? How does NASA actually put that mall on Mars? What were you doing at the mall? I was like, what food court are you going to? It was awful. What were you doing at the mall? I had to buy clothes. Oh, I thought you were going to the Apple store again. No, I had to buy clothes. You bought that shirt this weekend, huh? I bought this throwback Padre t-shirt. Is it from Nordstrom? Yeah. I got taught a bunch of those. Those are nice, and they're really soft. You bring up a great point. What? Is it okay to wear a bunch of them? Because I was like, well, if I wear a bunch of them, people are going to be like, what'd you do? Raid the area of that particular? He has a Laker one. He has a couple Dodgers ones. That's what I want to do. They're really nice and they're really comfortable. You can't put them in the dryer. Won't do Dodgers, though. Won't do Dodgers. Just so you know, you can't put them in the dryer. They'll shrink up? Yeah. I'm going to write my wife an email. They will. Did you almost say my mom? M1MC has the perfect workout for the show. What is it? Hello? Uh-oh. What's happening? I don't know, but something must be wrong with the phones. Can you hear me okay, M1MC? I can. Okay. What's the perfect workout for us? Well, MC stands for Marine Corps. Okay. And I have the perfect workout. We can get recruits from 75 pounds overweight to lean, lean, and trim. So I think we can get Woodsy, you know, 20 pounds off. Mikey, I know that I can help you. You know me. So I know I can help you. This is my friend, Terry.

24:22Yeah. There's no way. Dude, he sent me a text on Mistake. This is my friend. He sent me a text on Mistake, and his text said something to the effect of, yeah, I ran 10 miles today, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, I wrote him back. I'm like, yeah, I said I almost threw up just reading that. Yeah, I can't drive 10 miles, dude, without getting winded. Yeah, I get winded driving 10 miles. Well, we'll start, you know, a 100-meter dash. No, slow is running to the refrigerator to get a hot fudge sundae I've stuck in there. Let's run some 40s. All right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Terry. My goodness. What do I look like? What do I look like over here? Don't answer that. Don't answer what I look like. CCR, Fortunate Son. Nice one, Sienna. I love it. It's like one you guys are probably going to like today. Thanks, Toddy. That's Todd all there. Reminds me of Forrest Gump. Yeah, me too. Hey, don't go away. We may have a pretty fun 911 call that could involve somebody on the show. And if we do, that would be coming up next. You're listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Do you remember when you used a dial-up to access the Internet? Remember how slow that was?

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28:16Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. Nothing. Every opportunity in front of you. The world's forward thinking companies behind you. The Pacific Ocean beside you. Nothing standing between you. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. Ombak presents Revolution, Cowboy Mouth, Fishbone, and more Saturday. It's the 57th coming out party, and tickets are just $10. Great bands, Miss Mission Beach, Beer on the Beach. All for just $10 at ombak.org. That's O-M-B-A-C dot O-R-G. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. My name is Mikey, and I did not graduate from high school. Thank you. Lauren. You have coconut. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. My name is Mikey. And I did not graduate from high school. Thank you. Lauren. Do you have coconut water? Woods. Don't go to the doctor. It's in my family. We don't go to the doctor. Sienna. I have the fastest wiener dog on the planet. And Jay. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. When you promise to be the station that doesn't waste your time. Every other horse and BS got her down. It seemed like you need a little hill country. Rose driving. A little bit of old top down. It's Pat Green. I like it. So I saw.

29:54Bear Grylls' new show. It's called Worst Case Scenario. Yeah. No? No good? I was so in on it. The idea sounds incredible. What's the deal? He takes you into normal worst case scenario situations that you may run into and then tells you how to get out. The problem is, I'm like, really? That's going to happen? I mean, and I understand that the knock on his show, Man vs. Wild, is, well, why is he taking you into the Sahara Desert? I'm not going to find myself in the Sahara Desert very often. The cool thing is that it was really, really entertaining to watch him get out of the Sahara Desert. That was really entertaining to watch him eat a live snake. That was entertaining. This was if you get into a car crash and there's a downed power line on your car. Now, maybe if that happens, you do want to know some of this stuff. I just didn't find it as entertaining to watch this. As I did the other stuff. Plus, they're doing reenactments. They're using actors for him. They're using actors for him to pretend to be, you know, yeah. Anytime they do the reenactment bit, I'm kind of out. I know. You know, like that old show. Unsolved Mysteries. It was just like, really? It's the worst. They're not really getting Academy Award winning talent. No. To act out those scenarios. Definitely not. And so it wasn't always very good. 570.

31:20M1 Michael is a doctor, right, Michael? Yes, I am. Woodsy is already closing his eyes, and he's already shaking his head slowly as if to say, what have we done? But I think it's good for him to know this, right, M1 Michael? Yeah, this is a bad day for him because he's going to start taking care of himself now. Is that a serious issue when you have the reflux or the heartburn? Well, the problem is I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon. What that means is I operate on, like, the heart, lungs, and the esophagus. Married? Are you married? Yes, yes. Wait, I am. That's funny. That's funny. The problem is that people with reflux is that it can start to affect your esophagus, and you can get what's called esophageal cancer. Perfect. And what happens is that a normal esophagus starts to change and becomes cancerous from that. fast reflux pounding on it for all these years. I'm going to look into it, too. I think I might have it, too. Of course he does, yeah. I'm telling you, I went through a period last year for about three months where I had intermittent problems with heartburn, and then it went away, but I've always had issues with my esophagus. Always, always, always, and I bet they're related. Thank you for the call. You're perfect. That's not your esophagus right there, though, Mike.

32:46It isn't? That's just my throat. Yeah. Where I was touching on my neck? Mm-hmm. Okay. Fine. Now you know. Watch, watch, watch. Watch, watch, watch. Well, I got to see my first UFC fight this weekend, UFC 113 in Montreal, Canada. That's right. We're going to be talking about that a little later because it was eye-opening and I'm going to leave it at that. Yeah, what's he's going to talk about? Don't turn the dial. That's right. Well, I got to get to this story. This story is absolutely crazy. I'm going to walk you through it. A few weeks ago, the Yankees are playing the A's, and A-Rod is on first. They hit a foul ball. He runs to third base. Then he has to go back to first base. Now we all know, what is the shortest distance between two points? Straight line. Straight line. So he goes from third. He runs back across the field, back to first base. But he crosses the pitcher's mound. The pitcher that was on the mound at the time was Dallas Braden. Well, this guy flips out. And I mean flips out.

33:45screaming at A-Rod, stay off my effing mound. Stay off my mound. Don't ever step on my mound. Apparently, it's this unwritten rule in baseball, which is funny. Been playing ball 25 years. I'd never heard of it. Never. Never heard of that. And I've been a pitcher. Guys have run across the front of me to go back to the first base. It never bothered me. This guy flipped out. I didn't know, Woods, and I'm sure there's a lot of people out there that didn't know, that you could run from third base to first base. Well, it was a foul ball, so you had to go back to first. So instead of, Braden wanted him to go all the way around. I got you. Instead of running right across. Got it. So he flipped out. All right. So he's been running mouth for about three weeks. Yeah. Saying, I'm going to settle this with A-Rod. We don't do much talking in the 209. He's from Northern California. He's really made a clown of himself. I mean, really. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a Yankee homer, which I am. But he really has made a clown of himself. Well, this guy goes out yesterday, Dallas Braden, on Mother's Day. And he throws a perfect game. Really? A perfect game. Does that mean that no one even gets on base? Nobody got on base. Wow. That's amazing. 27 up, 27 down, Mike. It's on Mother's Day. He lost his mother to cancer in high school. So I'm like watching it go. My heart's going out to him. But then again, I'm like, ugh. But okay, so Mike, hit, cut, won. Two out, nobody on. Ninth inning. Bartlett's on deck.

35:11And Braden turns. He throws. And it's swung on a ground ball to short. Taken there. Pennington's got it. He throws. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Now, I want you to. I laid in bed last night. The A's have beaten Tampa Bay 4-0. Wow. The kid from Stockton has done it for the A's. 27 up, 27 down. So I'm laying in bed last night. And I was trying to explain to Jamie how momentous this was. This is the 19th perfect game in Major League history. Think about. All the games. There's 162 games a year. Think about all the pitchers over Major League history that have taken the mound. 19 of them have thrown a perfect game. Even a guy like me that is not that big into baseball, I remember names of guys that have pitched.

35:58perfect games because there's not very many that have. Catfish Hunter was the last A to do it. So it was only the 19th in Major League history. The only downside for Dallas Braden, it actually helped the Yankees since he beat the Devil Racer in first place. But it was amazing. It's one of the greatest feats in sports you can do. Also, Mike, Tiger Woods actually withdrew from the Players' Championship on Sunday. He did not finish his round. He has a bulging disc in his neck that he's been playing through for a while. He was struggling the last couple of days, beginning the day at 10 strokes off the lead and was two over through six. And you could see it. He just couldn't get anything going. And actually, go ahead. Well, I wanted to say to you that there was a, you said the bulging disc thing. I know. And as soon as you said it, Sienna started to giggle because she thought what everybody thought. Do you have it? I have it. This was on the Golf Channel. We're all children. I was dying. We're all children. This is my worst fear that I'm going to slip up and do this, doing a news story. Sometimes when you're speaking, you slip up and you say the wrong word. This is recorded from the television. He later went into the physical therapy trailer and then got into his SUV to leave. He said he's been playing with a bad neck for about a month and thinks it could be a bulging day.

37:20Disc in his upper hand. She didn't say disc. She made a mistake. Yeah, she said something sounds kind of like it. She didn't say disc. Bulging something. Bulging something else. And listen, it was a, I believe they call it a Freudian slip. Freudian slip. Freudian slip. Can you blame her? I can't. A lot of minds have been on Tiger's bulging disc for a while. The winner of the tournament was actually Tim Clark. He shot a 5 under 67. It was his very first PGA win. Brought home $1.7 million for his weekend's work. I've never heard of the person. He's a good player. They said it was long overdue. Yeah, he's a really good player. We talked last week, Mike, about how Mark Cuban probably wakes up every morning kicking himself that he got rid of Steve Nash. Well, last night was another testament to Nash. Gets elbowed in the eye. His eye closes up. He looked like a fighter. Yeah. He looked like a fighter boxer. I showed you the picture this morning. Well, who needs two eyes to play hoops, man? He scored 10 of his 20 points with one eye. That's amazing. And the Suns went and swept the Spurs from the Western Conference semifinals. They'll take on the Lakers or the Jazz. Probably the Lakers. Lakers are up 3-0 against the Jazz, so that's probably going to be the next matchup.

38:28And also the Cleveland Cavaliers MVP LeBron needs to step up his game. The number one seed Cavs are now tied two games apiece with the Celtics. Rondo came in big last night. 29 points and 18 boards to even the series. LeBron scored 22 but turned the ball over seven times. A couple more for you. The Padres gave one away yesterday. They had a 3-0 lead. Made a couple of errors. Really blew it against the Astros who are a terrible, terrible team. But I've emotionally invested. Yeah. Yes. We sized back up. It's okay. I'm still in. They're still in first. Yeah, great. And now they play the Giants. The Giants are right behind them, and they're getting hot. Let's kill the Giants. She hasn't cheated yet, but she did check out some other guy. She did. She was at a bar in PB. That's a great way to put it. She didn't come home until late. Because I compared the Padres to her relationship with a woman. Yeah. Okay, fine. She's testing the waters. She's testing the waters. Great. She's flirting. Sniffing around a little bit. Well, the New York Yankees went into Fenway Park. Oh, my gosh. Kicked the crap out of the Red Sox on Friday and Saturday. Who cares? It's the biggest story in baseball. It is? Winning by scores of 10-3 and 14-3. The Yankees remain a half game out of first. Red Sox are in fourth. Are they? That's all you can ask. Go into somebody else's house and winning the series. Oh, great. Very solid. For all of you in the boroughs, I...

39:47I definitely hope that you enjoyed that This morning. Hey, let's take a quick look at traffic. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners for the month of May. You're participating Toyota dealerships offering buy three tires. Get the fourth tire for a dollar. Visit your neighborhood Toyota dealership today. 125 southbound before Spring Street. An accident over on the right shoulder. It's a semi and a car. It's starting to back things up. 15 southbound at the 78. Two car accident. It's stuck in the number two lane. Looks like there could be a third car involved. And on the five southbound right after Imperial. Avenue. There is an accident on the left shoulder, two cars in the center divider, and a tow truck hooking somebody up. SeaWorld kicks off its festival of Latin music, food, and fireworks, performing live at Shamu Stadium, May 15th, Drake, and on May 16th, Camila. Visit SeaWorld.com slash Viva for concert information. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. Did you guys hear about the yacht that crashed into something gigantic out in the middle of the ocean? And it wasn't another yacht. What was it, Sienna? It was a, well...

40:47A family that was on a yacht went all around the world. It was an around-the-world voyage, and they hit a little bit of an iceberg. They had a problem, and they were rescued by a British warship who decided to rescue this family who was in desperate need. Water was coming on the boat. Their yacht was in trouble. Yeah. Sienna could probably relate to yacht troubles. You know what I mean? Sienna's from La Jolla. And imagine what that 911 call would sound like. Great. Emergency services. Oh, my gosh, Sister Waverly. Be careful. You're going to bump your head on the C-5's wings. You're going to be too wet. Hey, who is this? Madam, this is emergency services. Right. I just called you. I know who you are. Hey, we just hit. Dad just hit. Dad, my dad is Keith Richards, and he just hit a giant iceberg. Okay. Well, where is everyone? We're on our yacht right now, and we just hit it. We just hit an iceberg. Anna, we're going down. That's Sister Waverly. Shh. Hang on. Oh, my gosh. We're going to form all of our chefs into a lifeboat. I didn't do that, darling. Get on that base back. Anna, get on that base back. That base is too big. We won't spit. Hello?

42:11Oh, yes. Hello, sir. Yes, do. Hey, by the way, I know this is so tragic and so weird in such an awful situation, but do you know where I can get some penguins? I don't mean the birds. I mean the... Forget it. Hey. Wait a second. My dad is going to hollow out a giant flawless diamond for us to float in. Hello? Oh, yes. Hello? Yes. We're going down. Sister Waverly, hang on. Hello? Is that a nun? Mom! Build us a new yacht! Hello? What's your name? Oh, my name is... Whatever! Just get us help out of here! Build us like a gold seagull that'll fly here and take us away! I can't do that, sir, but I will try to... I will send help your way. You're ridiculous. I have to go. I love how I call my sister Waverly. Sister Waverly. Sister Waverly. She's a nun. She's a nun. It's fantastic. 570-1949 is the number if you want to give us a call. Let's see. Don't know if you know this, but apparently Dr. Phil did something kind of drastic, something that he hasn't done.

43:36Many, many, many years, and we'll tell you all about it in a few. Our phone line's open for you, 570-1949, if you want to give us a call. Now, how is the NASA astronaut going to test Newton's theory of gravity in space? And haven't we already? Right. Haven't we already tested it? He wants to do he's going up on Friday and he wants to take an original piece of the scientist famous apple tree on the five million mile journey into space. And his name is Piers Sellers. He plans to release the 10 centimeter fragment into zero gravity during the 12 day mission. All it is is an apple falling from a tree, right? Yeah. So he's going to take a tree up there? No, it's just like a tiny piece of it, I guess. And he says he's going to take a piece of a tree up there. That's a deal? To test zero gravity. Sounds like money well spent. Yeah. Congratulations, us. Way to go, Pierre. He said, I'll take it up and let it float around for a bit, which will confuse Isaac. While it's up there, it will be experiencing no gravity, so if it had an apple on it, the apple wouldn't fall. Why would it confuse Isaac if he's dead? He's dead. Well, because he said the apple would fall. Got it. I'm so confused. In a no, wait. With gravity, though. It's got to be your bowl. It's not the theory of relativity.

44:55Relativity was factoring gravity into it. We're not talking about the theory of relativity. We're talking about the theory of gravity. Uh-oh. LLB moment. It's Monday. It's an LLB moment. It is Monday. Yeah, it's Monday. The little tree fragment is already ready to go on board the shuttle, which is taken off Friday. This sounds ridiculous. It is. I know it. It's because it is. I know. The reason it does is because it is. I'm trying to understand it. I know. Now, do you know who Lena Horne is? Nope. Sure. I've heard the name. I used to date her. Yeah, exactly. Lena Horne died. No, Larry King did. It's very similar. They are. Lena Horne died on Sunday at 92 years old. I don't know. I heard the name. Don't know who she is. She was an actress and a jazz singer. Yeah, I'd never heard of her. And when I asked the guys this morning, no, is this a big deal? Do you guys know? Everyone was like, yes. Well, you know the name. I know the name. Maybe she's saying, hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Maybe. The BP oil spill is now growing and has grown to, guess how many, let's see over under on how many millions of gallons have spilled. I don't want to know. It's really bad, man. I saw a photograph yesterday online that made my stomach turn. It was a wave breaking and it had gook all inside of it. You're kidding. Yeah, light brown gook.

46:21It was terrible. An estimated 3.5 million gallons. Unbelievable. That's unbelievable. And, I mean, it's been happening since April 20th, which is just nuts. Remember how last week I talked about the big containment box they were bringing in? They were hoping that it would contain the oil and then allow it to be pumped up to the tanker? No, that's a different thing. Well, that didn't work. Perfect. The containment box got clogged with icy slush. Of course it did. So now they're on to plan B and they want to bring a smaller box out and believe that it is less likely to get clogged. Ladles. Another thing. Ladles. Ladles. You know why plan B, you know why they're having to go to plan B? Why? Because they never had a plan A before it happened. Yeah. They're trying to figure it out on the fly. They're considering a lot of options right now, but the big one is that they're drilling a relief well that would permanently end the leak, but that takes weeks to do. It's unbelievable to think that you do something that is innately dangerous to the environment. Innately. That's the deal with it. It's got this problem. You could leak oil into the ocean, but you never go, well, what if it does? What do we do? There was never a thought to that.

47:34Apparently, this is a crazy deep well. It's a mile deep. My buddy's dad got brought in. He worked for Red Adair. He's retired, but they brought him in, and he's been consulting on helping close this thing off. And he says it's going to be a cluster for a long time. Really? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. And if you're probably not surprised, oil has reached the shore now. See, for me, in my head, I am done eating anything that could ever be remotely associated. I might be done with shrimp for a long time. Crab cakes? Well, depending. But how many times do you guys go someplace and they say, Gulf shrimp? Yeah. I mean, that's what the menu item says, Gulf shrimp. Now you're like, no way. There's no way. No. I don't trust it now. Well, and the way that the currents and stuff go, it's not necessarily just going to be contained to the Gulf. I thought of that. I thought, how long will it take for currents to move all of that stuff around the world? Right when I'm getting my surfing career going. Perfect. I stepped in tar the other day. No, you didn't. Yeah, it's still on my foot. Lauren says tar washes up on our beach. She knows this because she's healthy. She runs on the beach. But I had no idea that their tar comes up on our beach.

48:57It's always seeping. It's always seeping out just because there's no wells out there. It's still, there's oil and it kind of seeps up to the... Yeah. And you said it's nasty. Oh, yeah. It's still on there. Thick. Yeah. On your foot? It gets on your foot. Oh, whoa. Yeah, you have to like scrape it off. I had to then put ice cubes on it to harden it. Oh, my gosh. And then chip it off. And then all the like remnants, I had to use olive oil to get it off. I have a suggestion for you. What's that? In fact, I learned it this weekend on Bear Grylls' show that I was just criticizing. Really, Mike? Criticizing it so much you're about to give her instructions based on what you learned. But he does this little segment on every episode where he teaches you a random piece of trivia, what to do, when. And one of them was, what do you do if you step on gum? And you know what you do? You take WD-40. Oh. And you spray it from the little straw. The WD-40 onto the gum and it comes right off. On your skin? You can, yeah. I can't be good. Well, it's going to be, which is worse? Tar soaking into your skin endlessly. Endlessly. Were you running barefoot? I was walking barefoot. Well, it's a beach, right? It's the beach, right? What are you going to do? Yeah. It was like, it looked like I had frostbite on my foot. Wow. The whole half of my foot was like black. I wear booties.

50:18Do you really? While you walk on the beach? I don't walk on the beach. I go surfing. What do they call those? Aqua bots? What do they call them? Aqua socks. Aqua socks. I love those things. Yeah. And they keep your feetsies all nice. I'm bringing them back. Are you? Yeah. They keep you warm, too. Oh, yeah. I wear them when I go surfing in the water when it's cold, but I don't walk around the beach wearing booties. Maybe I wear them in the bathtub. Maybe I stop getting in a bathtub at 39. Why don't you smell the water that comes out of your booties? Really? I don't do it. Say that again. There's like water that will collect in your booties. And if you take them off and smell the water that's in there. Hideous. That's disgusting. It's gross. Well, yeah. But who's the person that goes, you know what? I just took these suckers off. I'd like to stick these up to my nose. She filters it through seaweed and makes soup. My buddy said, here, smell my booties. They smell awful. And, of course, I went, oh, you're right. Yeah, why do we do that? Someone would be like, oh, gross, smell this. Oh, gross, you're right. Like our refrigerator here that smells like a dead guy. We have a little mini refrigerator that the whole radio station uses, and there's a sign on it that said something died in here with a little skull and crossbones. Yeah.

51:28Hideous. It smells like a skunk diet in there. I continue to put my food in there every morning. Why do you guys do that? Does it take on the flavor of it? You know, I was afraid it would, but it doesn't. It doesn't? That's why I just let it go back in. It's dreadful to open that door, though. It smells like catfish. Does it smell like... It smells worse than catfish. I've avoided it. No one will clean it. This was like butt and catfish. I wouldn't have a clue what it smells like because I stay as far away from that thing as possible. Next time you're at the microwave, I'm just going to go by and open the door. I think it's time to replace it. Hey, check this out. You can call right now and pick a horse. You're going to be either picking me, Sienna Woods, or Lauren O'Brien. You guys want me to play today? We're going to do Name That Tune, which Woodsy dominates at. He dominates at it. Not today. It's clips from movies and stuff like that. So call us right now, 570-1949, and pick the person you think will kill it. And there was this guy. He does this thing called a stock webinar. Now, I know how boring that sounds. But what isn't boring is this guy flipping out live on television during the big stock sell-off last week. I'm like...

52:43Really, dude? Really? I love those. An all-new ABC's Castle has one hot detective in hot pursuit of a killer with two partners chasing her. It's like sex in the city, only with boys. Wait a minute, that would make me carry. You're so metrosexual for even knowing that. But only one who will capture her heart. Morning, sunshine. All-new ABC's Castle, tonight on ABC 10. Make the switch to 10 news in the morning, and you could win $100.

53:47Sign up on 10news.com, then watch for your name at 5 and 6 a.m. to see if you've won. News, weather, traffic, and two chances to win $100 every day. Switch and win with 10 News in the Morning. It's Toyota's national sales event. The perfect time to get an amazing deal on the Toyota you've always wanted. Now, listen. It's Toyota's national sales event. The perfect time to get an amazing deal on the Toyota you've always wanted. Now. Lease a new 2010 Prius, America's most fuel-efficient car, for only $2.39 a month for 36 months with just $9.99 due at signing. And for a limited time, get a free auto maintenance package with any new Toyota. Fuel efficiency claim based on EPA MPG estimates. See fueleconomy.gov. Lease example on approved Tier 1 plus credit. Lessee pays 15 cents per mile for all miles over $12,000 per year, plus tax and license. Security deposit ways. Offers may vary by region.

54:44Maintenance plan is for two years or 25,000 miles, whichever occurs first. The new Toyota vehicle cannot be part of a rental or commercial fleet or a livery or taxi vehicle. See plan for complete coverage details. Vehicles must be purchased or leased from new car dealer stock by midnight, 6-1-10. For more details, visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota's national sales event, going on now. Hurry to your Toyota dealer today. We all have our own way of saying welcome. We shake hands. We bake pies. We high-five. From Lake Elsinore to La Jolla to Anaheim to Port Hueneme, Wachovia is now Wells Fargo in Southern California. And we'd like to welcome everybody in our own way. With more bank locations, more ATMs, more online capabilities, and great customer service. With the promise of strength and stability that goes back over 150 years. Welcome means we're with you in more ways to help you reach your financial goals.

55:45It means taking the time to get to know you, to understand your financial situation. Welcome means working with you to be a part of the community. So stop by Wells Fargo today. We'll shake hands, maybe high five, and have a talk about your financial goals. Welcome to Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A. Member FDIC. Suffering from high interest rates on your credit cards? Barely able to make the minimum payments on your debts? Our team of lawyers here at the Bankruptcy Law Center can help. Call 1-800-718-9688. Or go to our website at getoutofdeutsandiego.com. You can file for bankruptcy and still keep your home and your cars. A bankruptcy can wipe out your second mortgage and bring you current if you're behind on your house payments. Most people think bankruptcy destroys your credit, but many individuals actually have better credit after they file. The banks just received a $1.5 trillion taxpayer bailout. Here at the Bankruptcy Law Center, our team of lawyers can show you how to get your own bailout, giving you a fresh start and making you debt-free. Call 1-800-718-9688 today. Don't live the rest of your life buried in debt. Call to see if you qualify. Call 1-800-718-9688 today. Or go to our website, getoutofdeutsandiego.com. That's 1-800-718-9688. This is a legal advertisement.

57:05Warren Tiller is responsible for this ad. Nothing in this ad should be construed as legal advice. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, for the month of May, your participating Toyota dealership is offering buy three tires. Get the fourth tire for a dollar. Visit your neighborhood Toyota dealership today. Looks like Sigler is still in effect here. South Grade Road in both directions at Petra Way. Two lanes are blocked. Both lanes are blocked due to an overnight accident. There was a car that hit a utility pole. Power lines, phone cable lines all down. They're all over the road, so be careful as you approach that. Also, a problem here. The 79 southbound at the 76, it's an accident. Southbound lanes are closed. This car went down a really steep embankment. Two trucks have been called with 50 feet of cable to pull them up. This report is also brought to you by Pickup Sticks. For a great deal on a freshly walked meal, check out the Dragon Deals value menu at Pickup Sticks. Six delicious meals, only $4.99 each. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. See how to speak of the music today? I like the sound. One of the ones I'm talking about.

58:50I like it. The script is the name of the band. Break Even is the name of the song. You can find the songs that we play, by the way, because each of us will pick a song based on the day of the week. And we will put those up on our Facebook page. So if you want to check out The Mikey Show on Facebook, just go to Facebook.com and check out. Just type in The Mikey Show. You'll find our fan page there. You know what else, Mike? Have you seen the M1 site recently? I'm always checking out. And what they do is they look at our list and they put the link to the songs up. Really? So you can go to YouTube and hear all of our music from that recap. It's awesome. M1site.com. It's killer. It's fan-based. Our boy Danny does it. It's amazing. Absolutely amazing site. Let's see. I'm Mikey. That's Woodsy. That's Lauren O'Brien. That's Sienna. And that's Jay. There are five of us on the Mikey Show doing a meet and greet with you on Friday. So excited. They're fun. Yeah, they are. I've got the food. Yeah, it's going to be good. It's going to be out at Hoolies. The food is going to be good because it's Hoolies. It's an Irish pub. And we're going to be doing this on Friday out in La Mesa, 5 to 7. It's going to be a great time. Love to have you come out there and meet us. And we're going to be giving away our sticker. It's going to be a good time. So come and be a part of the M1 Nation. All meeting up.

1:00:16At Hoolies on Friday. Maybe the kid does some Irish dancing for you. Yes. Be real good. I would love it. Will you? I'd love to see you do it. With your mustache? With my mustache. That is disgusting. Maybe LLB does some Irish drinking for you. How about that? How about that? Yeah. We'll have it be a whole segment. Irish. Or you get to watch that getting done. Yeah. Let's see. 570-1949 is the number. So, if you're a fella, I have 10 places that you're guaranteed to meet women. How would you like that? I would love it. Ten places. If I wasn't married, I would love it. When I'm married, I don't care. Those of you guys that are single, ten places that you're guaranteed to meet women. Join a gym. A hundred. Really? Yeah. I thought that that's a place that women don't like to be hit on. It's a place where a lot of people actually do meet up, but some people don't want to be bothered when they're doing their thing. Some people. By some people, you meet Lauren O'Brien. Lauren O'Brien. Also, me and Mikey at the gym. Not really going to impress anybody. No. You know? Yeah, but there's, you know, people in your class. Like maybe if you do the classes and you go to the same class, you know, every week. Yeah. I don't do classes. I'll say this. What? If you are going to meet a girl at the gym, you better be pretty hardcore about going to the gym because you have competition and they're usually pretty cut. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine a doughy Michelin, you know, stand in.

1:01:38I'm the Michelin man standing. And me, the muffin top. The king of the muffin top. Yeah, king of the muffin top. I look like I should be breaking through a brick wall screaming, oh, yeah. Kool-Aid? Yeah. And I'm going to walk up to some girl. How are you doing? Hey, how are you? She's going to be like, really? Really? Maybe she enjoys some Kool-Aid, too. Yeah, exactly. You don't have to go up to the hottest one. She's like, I'm great, and I've already got a gardener, so it's just very nice of you. Thank you. I think we should call Mikey Kool-Aid all the time. Hey, Kool-Aid! Hey, Kool-Aid! That'd be great. That'd be awesome. It's the worst. You're like middle school. Okay, so what else? There's another great place for us to meet ladies. All right, this one's phenomenal. Pay attention to your pet. If you have a dog, hit up the dog party. Girls go to the dog park all the time. They love their pets. You love yours. Maybe the dogs sniff each other. I don't know. If your dogs start getting it on with each other, then it's like, hey. How uncomfortable though, right? Can you make your dog stop making love to my dog? You just tell them maybe we make that right. Weird. Weirdest thing I've ever heard. Strangest thing ever. And you're being inappropriate. Can you imagine? Maybe we make that right. Maybe we make the dogs jealous. Gross.

1:02:51Another thing, too, is maybe get outside and wash your car outside your place because girls walk all the time with each other. They walk the dog, you know. Really? How's it going? Shirtless. Washing your car. Little orange dolphin shorts. Yeah. They're like, dude, I've been telling you to do that forever, man. I've been saying that's what I do. That's how I meet the ladies, man. I'm always out washing my car in short shorts. They love it. Cut off jeans, man. There you go, Frankie. You wax too, Frankie? Yeah, I do. I wax my underarms. I wax my arms, my chest. I'm at the car. Oh, the car. Yeah. Sometimes, I guess. Most of the time, though, it's my chest, my arms, my underarms. Every hair on your body. Your legs. Yeah, it helps me to swim faster. Yeah, it does. Do a lot of swimming? I do synchronized swimming. Oh. That's manly. Competitively. I think you may be in the same class as my grandma. Yeah. Yeah. She's in my class for the Fallbrook. The Fallbrook. That's it. Yeah. Fallbrook footsies is what we call ourselves. Are you the hairless wonder on the team? Yeah, that's what they call me. I got a tank top. It says hairless wonder on it. HW. Really good.

1:04:05You know what girls are very attracted to? What? When an Italian guy's butt cheeks just barely show out of the bottom of my cut-off cheeks. No, no, no. That's disgusting. I don't think that's true. Sexy Sienna is sexy. It's probably a Brooklyn thing, dude. It's probably a Brooklyn. It must be, yeah. They love it in Brooklyn. We love it in New Jersey, too. Yeah, I know you do. Don't touch me. Did you forget about that, you little guy, you? Yeah, yeah, come here. HW. Don't touch me. HW. Don't touch me. HW. Hairless wonder. Disgusting. Where's another place we can meet ladies? Guys, eat out. Don't forget, you know, don't stay at home and eat your mac and cheese all day long. You know why? Because nothing's sexier than a guy sitting by himself at a restaurant. No, but think about it like this. Think about it like this. A coffee shop. What if you're sitting at a coffee shop? Taking pictures of him for the FBI. Yeah, look at that creep over there by himself just looking at me. Oh, yeah. I'm so turned on. It can be endearing. Can it? Yeah. If the guy's creepy looking, then no. Yeah, but if he's hot, you think it's so pitiful, you're going to go say hello. You're like, oh, how sweet. He has a little book there that he's reading a little book and eating. He's a cute little guy. Well, who's the girl? Is she there by herself? How's she meeting him? She's there with her friends. She is? She's there with her cougar friends. Yeah, and they're going to go up to him.

1:05:22I love that. Look at that hot guy over there eating fries at that booth alone. Reading The Shining. Right. Yeah, look at that pervert reading The Shining. What if he's on his lunch break from work? A lot of people eat alone. I'll tell you something, dude. When I used to travel a lot, I was by myself. And you have to eat. You have to eat dinner. And you can't eat crap every night at fast food. A couple times my bit would be I would go to, like, an Outback. Yeah. And I would just eat at the bar. Me too. I was just going to say, that's the bit. Eat at the bar, have, like, one beer, and then, like, eat my steak. Just, like, pretend like I'm watching whatever crappy hockey game it's on. I would always try to talk to the bartender. And if he didn't, like, it was the most awkward conversation. If he wasn't into talking to me, then I'd just be like, okay. Okay, I'll just eat. Just cut my steak. Would you have allowed the bartender to flirt with you? No. You wouldn't? Mm-mm. That's actually a good idea if you're single to just go sit at the bar. Because if you think about it, all the waitresses, maybe there's a hot waitress, a hot bartender, they come up and ring in the orders right at the bar. You're there. Hey, how's it going? How's your night? You know, just casual conversation. Do the bit, too. Like you keep looking at your phone like you're waiting on your boy who's running late. Do that bit, too. Be like, I don't want this clown in. No, but then you look like you got stood up.

1:06:32Yeah, about your boy, though. It doesn't matter. It's because what about your boy? You better be from in town if you do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if she goes, really? Where are you from? Chicago. Really? You're waiting for your boy? Yeah. Yeah, my boy lives here now. Yeah, yeah. He moved out here. He's supposed to come up and visit me. You know what I mean? What time do you get off? That's good. What is one thing that girls love to do, you guys? Talk. Ask questions. Yeah. Watch Twilight. Watch Twilight. Spend money. Spend money. Shop. Get a massage. Shop. Shop. Get a massage? Yeah, go to the mall. Maybe you guys just go hit up a store. 100%. Go walk around Nordstrom. Used to creep to malls all the time. That's why I hang out at Lane Bryant. Thanks. Hi, how are you doing? Me? I'm just buying a scarf. What's your name? Want to go get some McDonald's with me? I don't know when this example would come into play, but it says be tech-friendly. Like, know about your phones and stuff, because a lot of times girls don't really know how the phones work right. Really? And you guys could step in and be like... Apple Store. Oh, yeah, you just do it like this. Yeah. Let me show you how to do that. Mm-hmm. Oh, looks like your screen's not very bright. You want to know how to turn the...

1:07:37Turn the brightness up on that sucker. Mikey tells the kid every day. Yeah. That's kind of, I mean, if you were in the Apple store or something and say you knew about like all of the Apple products like Mike, you could maybe just see a cute girl and be like, oh yeah, you know, they say that's a good one, but I've actually heard that this one's better and it's cheaper. Do girls think that's cool? I like to be in the know. Yeah? Yeah. And girls think a guy that's in the know is kind of sexy. Yeah. All right. And if he just saved me money. Yeah. I really like it. Maybe he gives you a coupon. Yeah. Yeah. He wits a coupon out of his wallet. Yeah. Like a creeper. If he gave me a coupon, I'd be like, why don't you slip your number in there, too? I'd probably get French kissed real good. Wow. It's okay. I got my number and a copy of The Shining in my back pocket. Did you write your number on that coupon? Yeah. You want that? All right. Let's do Name That Tune. You guys want to do this? Yeah. All right. Let's talk to a couple of people. We got M1 Yak. M1 Yak, who would you like to select? I'm a boy. You know that. You got it. Hang in the line. Let's see. M1 Yak. Cobbler, who would you like? Mikey. You got it. Hang on. M1 Fast Brody, who do you want? You got it. What did I miss? Weird Cobbler Mikey. Cobbler Mikey. Fine. M1 Greg, you got Sienna. Hang on the line, will you? All right. Hang on. Okay, so I'm going to go to the other side of the board. Headphones. I'm traveling to the other side of the board.

1:09:03And I'm going to compete right along with all my mites. These are movies, Jay? Yeah, what do we got, Jibber? These are movies that feature mothers because we just went through Mother's Day. Sweet. I'm kind of a cute guy. Movies that feature mothers. I might know these. I might know these. You'd be surprised. Almost every movie that there's out there has a mother in it of some sort. So go with that. Let's do this, Sienna. All right, are you ready? Here we go. You forgot the page. Oh, thank you. Goodness. Anyway, her parents, I never really knew them, and I'm not the motherly type. I never have been. And I didn't have little brothers or sisters, so you see, I didn't babysit. Plus, I'm not, well, you know, I'm not natural as kids. Damn it. It's Diane Keaton. I don't know. I just pricked. Oh. You're right about the actress. Yeah. Damn it. What was it?

1:10:00Baby Boom. Baby Boom. I was, yep, I'm an idiot. All right, hold on, we've got to keep score. There's no way I would ever have a chance. I'm glad I didn't guess. It was so hard, I went back and saw these movies, I'm like, tears. What is it, Mom? You are not special enough to overcome a bad marriage. Oh, Woods. Terms of Endearment. Ow, dude. Okay, now we're all tied at zero. Here we are. Here we go. Who lets their kids run around? Stepmom. I can replay it. Replay! Replay! Who lets their kids run around in a place that is crawling with bugs the size of house kids? Woods. Woods. Erin Brockovich. I said, in my head, I was like, that's that tall redhead with a big mouth. That's how I heard. I was like, pretty woman. Wait, no, there's no kids in that movie. Old bassmouth Roberts. Here we go. Here we go. What do you want me to give you? Guarantee these are kids. What? Parenthood. Really? What? Stop it, what? I didn't even know that was a new clip. Really? Wow. He's doing some leg squats of some sort. Here we go. Here we go, ladies and gentlemen. How precious is this wedding going to get, I ask you? My colors are blood and bad. Steel Magnolia. Yep. Well done. Back to zero. Well done. Another Julia Roberts. All right, the score is Woods 2, the rest of us 0. And, yeah. Here we go.

1:11:29You look just awful. Well, I feel awful. Well, you look it. I saw you on television. Jenna knows it. I taped it. We got to see it twice. Lauren. The divine secrets of the yeah, yeah. Whatever. Oh, no. What was it? Oh, don't, don't. What was it? No. What was it? Hope floats. I knew it. Sandra Bullock. I knew it. Sandra Bullock. I was like, what is the name of that stupid movie? Next. Here we go. I have a half a pound of ham. Boiled, baked, smoked, salt cured, sugar cured, prosciutto or Westphalian? All right, forget it. I'll tell you what. Just give me a half pound of salami. Italian, kosher, hard pork, beef, koto or what? Just get bologna, mister. I'll tell you what. Just give me a quarter pound of cheese. What? Mr. Mom. My goodness. My goodness. You've seen every movie he's ever made. Oh, and he remembers them. Michael Keaton. It's great. Nice work. What's three? Mikey and I, zero. Lauren, negative one. I'm going to catch up. Me too. I'm going to catch up. Here we go. This is an easy one. My mom always says. Forrest Gump. I knew that one. I want to kick Woods in the shin so hard right now. Who doesn't? Here we go. Ready? Yes.

1:12:58Problems. Hey, you want to go to a party with some good people looking to have a good time? Lauren. Don't take. Almost famous. Nice. Very good. Nice. Back to zero a little bit. Words for Sienna, Mikey, Lauren, zero. That's amazing. Great. Here we go. My name is Christine Collins. On March 10th, my nine-year-old son, Walter Collins, disappeared. Sienna! Strangeling! Oh, good one, Sam. I'm on the chart. I'm on the chart. Nice. Very good. She's so excited. Wow. She is very excited. Oh, my gosh. Let's do this. Here we go. I want to play poker with her. The drink the astronauts took to the moon. Astronauts to the moon. Coneheads. Oh, my goodness. I just dropped my arms like, are you kidding me? He is good. How did he do that? How did he do that? Wow. Here we go. I helped run a commercial design company up until four months ago, and now I'm a full-time mom. Golf? Double golf. You going to help out with the house and the kids? Solo Spaniel. You work here and you don't speak Spanglish.

1:13:58I actually thought in my head, that's that Adam Sandler. That's what everyone thought. Who actually knows the title? Okay, so we've got three questions left. Are you serious? I'm going to start taking chances. Do we want to make each of these worth three? Yes, yes, do it. Each of these are worth three points. Here we go. Now, open this one next. I remembered how much you liked the chocolate nut brown. Mikey! Poltergeist. Woods. What? Woods, better off dead. Oh, my. Game, bitches. Game, bitches. Man, now Woods has got nine. So each of these are worth four. Yeah. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. There's two left. You guys are clowns. Mikey, this is your sister, Julie. Hi, Julie. Lauren. Go, Sienna. Hold on. Wait. It has. Sienna, go ahead. Okay. Lauren. Wait. Look who's talking. Look who's talking.

1:14:57Oh, it was after the bell. I did it at the buzzer. Lauren, what do you got? I was going to say, look who's talking two. I want to throw it. Look who's talking two. That's right. He got it. He got it. Look who's talking two. So it's four. Sienna's at negative three. Mikey's at zero. Lauren, excuse me, is at four. This is where I make my move. This is where I make my move. So what is Lauren at? Four. And what do you have? Nine. So this is a five-point question. I passed you. You can't tie. I passed you. Here we go. I win. Everybody knows. So, you guys, what is the 411? What has everybody... Woods. I just said Woods. Mean girl. Dang it. You are not a man. See you later. You're amazing. I don't know how. I don't know why. You know what the old saying is? I don't know why. You know what the old saying is? I'm so upset. You can't keep a good man down. I guess not. I'm upset. That was... I love it. I love that. You're good. I'm like the Yankees of Name That Tune. Shut up. Everybody hates the Yankees. You're the Darth Vader of Name That Tune. You're the Darth Vader. I'm the Yankees of Name That Tune. I am like Derek Jeter. How do you know all those movies? Dude, I've been doing this my whole life. Nerd. Grow up Peter Pan. I thought you liked girls. I do. Yeah, Greg Woods just killed it for you. Yeah, he did.

1:16:27All right. Congrats. Congrats. That sounds really cool. Jeez Louise. So this is pretty good. I think you guys will like this. I'm upset. I'm mad. I just, ugh. I'm hurt. It sucks. You guys, you play with a champion. That's what happens. I was a pregnant woman jumping up and down and nothing. Expect the best. Expect the best from the kid every day. I bring my A game every day. Yeah, so do we, nerd. I'm going to get you next time. All right, will you? Yeah. I'll bet you some Indian food on it. All right, fine. Do it! He'll eat Indian food if Mikey wins. Oh, stop it. I will never put that filthy melon in my mouth again. He already ate his cantaloupe. So last week was a stock market disaster. Now, on the surface, boring to most of us, okay? Some of us have stocks and whatever. I find it quite interesting, Mike. Exactly. But... Last week when the sell-off was going on and all these people were bailing out and all this stuff, there was this guy that was giving a stock webinar. When it started to happen, the only reason I'm playing you this is because I love to hear people freak out when stuff starts happening live. I only see 570. Why isn't it updating? On what? All right. All right. We're in bear market.

1:17:48Stockmarketfunding.com told you it was coming. If you don't believe me, we're down 720 points. And we got all the short sales. Apple's down to $230. Look at that. Look at it. Take them all out for the big bounce off the bottom. I told everybody that you couldn't stay overbought. This is what happens when you get overbought. And we told everyone in the Dow was coming. We told you that we didn't want to see you get hooked. And you may be. Wow. Look at that. Look at that. Look at it. It's like C.C. DeVille doing stuff. It does. Sounds like the dude from Poison running around with his hair net. Sounds hot. Flipping out. I love to hear people freak out. I do too. You think dude needs to switch to decaffeinated coffee? I think so. That was all about stocks. I like him. Let's see. How about this? I told you. I told you. I knew it. Don't do $130. Did you know that, did you guys know that the most popular baby names of 2009 just came out? I don't care because I, well, no, wait, I do care. You should care. I just had twins in 2009. I was going to say, I don't care because I didn't have any kids in 2009, but no, wait, I did. Turns out I had two. You have. Turns out I had two.

1:19:11One of the most popular boy names. The number one. Jake. I have the number one. Yeah. Ryan. Jake. Jake for the 11th year in a row. Very well done. Jacob. Jacob. Should I start with the top 10 most popular boys names? Yeah. Since I've already said Jacob. What do you got? In order with number one. Woods. Woods is number one. Well, obviously. It's the number one boys. No, Jacob is. Then Ethan. Then Edward. Yeah. Mike. Edward. No, but Cullen, which is not on. The top ten is the fastest rising name in 2009 because of Edward Cullen. Of course it is. How about Lestat? Is that on there? Lestat should be on there. Is that a popular boy's name? Michael, number eight. That's someone's name on the show. Yeah. Alexander, William, Joshua. I love Josh. That's a great name. Daniel, Jaden. The Aidens are all good. Aiden, Jaden, Hayden, Brayden, you know. Noah and Anthony. Okay. Now the girls. Emily. Emily in the top ten. Emily is on the top ten. Emily is a great one. Madison. Isabella. Isabella. Number one. We had a Bella spend the night over the weekend. Jenna's friend. Madison. Madison is on there. Emma. Emma. Emma is number two. You've got the top two. Sophia. Good. Number four. Sophia. That's what the moment I want to name our kid. Lily is not on there. Okay. Olivia. Mm-hmm. Ava. Mm-hmm. Abigail. Mm-hmm. Chloe.

1:20:36And Mia. I've heard all these names recently. They're so cute. It's funny because when you think about it, in 60 years, those are going to be old lady names. Yeah. No one will be calling them. At some point, Jaden will be like Edgar. Yeah. No, but they're getting recycled, though. Like Olivia and Sophia. They're getting recycled. Those used to be grandmother names. But at some point, all these popular names that we have become old man and old lady. Do you think, like, Betty will ever come back? That's my grandma's name. Can you imagine? What about Flo? Yeah, let's bring it back. Flo and Betty. Isn't it funny, though? They're going to be like, oh, this is my grandmother, Jen. Right? Think about that. It's so funny. At some point, there's going to be, yeah, this is my grandfather, Brad. Yeah. That sounds like a good grandpa name. That's my brother's name. Grandfather's Zach. There's going to be that. Yeah. That's what we're headed towards. 570-1949 is our number. 949mikey at gmail.com is how to get a hold of us by text. Two boats. suspected of bringing migrants in a little motorboat. The story hits close to home. Does it? It does.

1:21:41It does. No, not motorboat, like as in... But over the weekend, early Saturday morning, there were two... My dad called them pongos. They're little boats that have good motors. You can call them Mexicans. They're Mexicans. They were immigrants. They were in a boat. No, I'm talking about the boat. Okay, fine. They came up around 4 a.m. Along the coast in Point Loma and in La Jolla, right by my parents' house. And the boats were filled with illegal immigrants that came across. And there were helicopters going around. Like, if it was early Saturday morning and you were in Point Loma or La Jolla, that's what they were doing. They were looking for them. They just got to shore and scattered. Really? Mom! There's Mexicans in our yard! They don't even have avoneros! They're sitting in a boat! They're in a pongo, whatever that is. Mom, there's Mexicans in a pongo in our front yard! In our backyard. I think there's pongos in the yard with habaneros. They're called the pongo's actually the boat, sweetheart. Well, in this article that I have in front of me, it's the one about Point Loma. And they said that there were 24 people. They have all been found. And they were brought on board Coast Guard Cutter and brought to San Diego where they are turned over to Border Patrol. I've got what to buy and what not to buy.

1:23:00at Walmart. We're going to do a Dude, You're Dumb with Woodsy. And if you want, you can call in about Dude, You're Dumb. All you do is, it's that guy. That's what Dude, You're Dumb is. That guy that does that annoying thing. 570-1949. Good pick, Sienna. Ray Charles. Go to the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. on FM 94.9. Everyone is rushing these days. Your schedule is tight. Down to the wire with that report. Answering emails before you get the emails. Dropping Lily at soccer practice. Jason's got the cross. Hurry, hurry, there's no time for anything which makes it even more important to get to the Lexus 60 to 0 certified pre-owned sales event before someone else gets the Lexus you want first. Luckily for you, we have a large selection of meticulously inspected vehicles and every single one of them is on sale.

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1:27:37A-I-S. Relationships can last a lifetime, like those between people who work and serve together, and even between member and credit union. A relationship with Navy Federal can see cars and homes financed. It can last through deployment with programs designed for active duty through retirement and beyond. It's a relationship between a member with specific needs and the credit union designed to meet them. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. Navyfederal.org, equal housing lender. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report, it is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. For the month of May, your participating Toyota dealership is offering... Buy three tires, get the fourth tire for $1. Visit your neighborhood Toyota dealership today. Looks like Ramona's still tied up here, the 79 southbound at the 70. Oh, looks like they just cleared it. 79 southbound 76, that road's cleared. It was a sig alert. Southbound lanes were closed due to a car down a very steep embankment, but they've cleared the whole thing so you can get through now.

1:28:49Probably a little residual backup, though. Eight westbound at Hotel Circle North, an accident here. Three cars, one guy's going the wrong way, two others over on the right shoulder waiting on tow trucks. And the Coronado Bridge westbound between the five and the toll plaza pretty much stop and go right now. This report brought to you by the 99 cents only store. Start eating healthier and save money at the same time with amazing fresh fruits and vegetables from 99 cents only stores. Who says healthy food has to cost more? Save more. Shop the 99 cents only stores first. for produce. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's happening? This is Bird and Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Monday morning, being brought to you by Guayaquil Iremate. And Guayaquil Iremate is partnering up with their good buddies Jimbo's Naturally Markets. They have fine produce and organic products for you, so check them out. as well as signing up for a raffle. They're going to be giving away two custom-built, rusty surfboards to your specifications. So you've got to stop by Jibbo's in order to sign up for that. And while you're there, pick up some Guayaquil products. SurfWise today, looking at a hodgepodge of really messy surf out there. West, northwest, southwest wells, combining together to give you sloppy, broken-up conditions. Not even all that large, either. Running in that waste, occasional chest-high zone. Maybe a few pluses to stand out spots.

1:30:11Dealing with a combination, though, of residual wind bump from yesterday's strong winds, westerly winds blowing all night long. It is calm right now. Things are starting to try to clean up, but it's pretty doubtful whether it will make any kind of a significant difference throughout the day-to-day. There are expectations of stronger west winds later. So for up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. For everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of the South Coast Surf Shouts, five locations, or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report is brought to you by Guayaki Urbamate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If I like rock music and you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. Woods. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. Lauren. I like looking at boobs. Sienna. I can hit some mean wiffle balls in our yard. And Jay. I can make 100 hush puppies in like 30 seconds. On FM 94.9. Sienna's picking the music. I like that one because it's got auto-tune in it. I love the sound of it. Timbaland and Katy Perry. Welcome back to the show. What to buy and what not to buy at Walmart. See, I've always thought that hearing that Walmart, you know, there's such savings at Walmart. I've always thought that's a bit. There are. Walmart's the cheapest place.

1:31:58Well, the reason I always thought it was a bid is because I was like, you know, nothing is free. And, you know, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is and blah, blah, blah. What's the deal? How are they able to have such low prices? They sell their souls. Is that why? I don't know. My dad has been in the consumer products industry. And he said trying to get your stuff on the shelves in Walmart, like the margin that the actual supplier makes, the profit margin that they make is so low because Walmart. you know, is insistent on being the lowest price. So you really do get low prices. They will low ball you. But you would think that the people whose products are on the shelves, they would actually end up making more because everyone shops at Walmart. So even though they're paying less, more of their products are being bought. I think that's the idea that they're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, they do it. But anyway, what are we supposed to buy and not buy there? Well, there's a list. I'm going to start with the things to buy there, and they're the moderately priced consumer electronics. So they have pretty good, like, nice high-def TV. They do have Samsung there. So if you want one but you don't want, like, a crazy good huge one, you know. That's what I'm in the market for right now. A TV. Walmart. Costco.

1:33:06Also, they have really good digital cameras, you know, Canon. What's the other one? Nikon. Yeah. They have those at Walmart. So they have the really good ones. There's always better brands. Like even Canon and Nikon have better stuff probably at like Best Buy, but they're more expensive. I'm going to teach you about something that I found out about. Frugal.com. It's a product of Google. Yeah. That's R-O-O-G-L-E. Right. That's awesome. Yeah. You type whatever you're wanting to buy into Frugal.com and it gives you, it just. gets a bunch of low prices and puts them together in one place. What I'd be interested in doing is testing that against walking into a Walmart. In fact, I'd be interested in doing that with most products because I've heard this thing about Walmart. Oh, it's so inexpensive. Oh, they have such great prices. I really want to test it and find out. Well, you might be able to find it. some things for less online that you, I mean, not might, you will be able to find some things for less, but it's the convenience of having it on the shelf instead of ordering it, waiting. So you don't have to wait. You just go down there and grab it. Walmart also, one thing I've noticed that they have the as-seen-on-TV products. They do? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So does Target. Really? And I know one other place that does. All right, I'll jump off a cliff. Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

1:34:20No. They do it too. Do they? They have the on TV stuff. Yeah, they do. I love those. I love the- You love Bed Bath & Beyond. Weird. I love the smell- Of salts. Of Bed Bath & Beyond. And oils. When you walk into Bed Bath & Beyond, there's a very pleasant smell. You get all your salts and oils there. Yes, that's where I get my exfoliating salts. Yeah, that's where I get the little thing to scrub the bottom of my heel. The loofah? Yeah. Yeah, the foot egg. The sandpaper. Oh, the pumice stone? The pumice stone. Whatever that is. That's what I get. Another thing to buy at Walmart are the smartphones. Bless you, Cubby. Bless your heart. Thank you. That was with his microphone turned off. I know. Did you get any on you? Cubby. I got it all over me. I'm wearing a bib. Sneeze bib. So get the smartphones. If your phone contract is up and you need a new phone, they really recommend the Blackberries because they've started carrying a lot of them at Walmart. Oh, nice. Coffee. This year, Walmart partnered up with Transfer USA, which is an independent certifying agency that has really good coffee. I have to buy my coffee online. Really? Yeah, because I can't find what I like in any store. Straight from Costa Rica. I like Dunkin' Donuts whole bean regular. Oh, they sell that in the stores now. They sell it around. You know where else you can get that?

1:35:31Where? Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah. Well, they don't have them here. They don't have Dunkin' Donuts here. They don't? Uh-uh. They don't have them here. I said that on the air one time before and someone emailed me that there's one somewhere in San Diego. See, everybody's going to say they have Dunkin' Donuts at the store. They do. It's all ground Dunkin' Donuts. They don't sell original Dunkin' Donuts whole bean. What's he's looking at me like? Really, pal? I can tell you one thing. There's definitely no Dunkin' Donuts in La Jolla. That's true. We know that. Do you order it direct from Dunkin' Donuts or where do you order it? Where I order. Everything. You talk to Mr. Donuts. From Dunkin' Donuts. He sends it to you special. I talk to Mr. Dunkin' Donuts. Amazon. I get everything at Amazon. Amazon's great. It's the best. Yeah, and I like those whole beaners. Get your video game bundles at Walmart. At Walmart. They do... What? I said whole beaners. Oh. Video game bundles. Walmart really steps it up with their bundles. And they come with starter games. So you get, you know, a lot more. Bang for your buck. Yeah. There you go. And laundry detergent is the last thing on the list for things to buy there. Yeah. So get your laundry detergent on Walmart. Okay. Things not to buy, which is the things we really care about. Okay.

1:36:46High-end electronics, that's kind of a given. I thought you just said it by a TV. High-end. No, I said moderate. I said moderate before. Oh, okay. Got it. So if you want a good one, you know, get in there. But if you want a great one, that's like, oh, look at my TV. It's so much better than yours. Like at Mikey's house or something. I'm just kidding. Your TV's pretty awesome. Yeah, you have a sick TV. It used to be. Jay, your TV's pretty badass too, dude. Mine's like faded. Mine's like a computer screen that you turn down the lights. Yeah, it is. You can get a bulb or something to fix that. Yeah, Jay and I will come over and install that for you. Okay, cool. Mine is a 27-inch that I've had for 10 years. It's got knobs instead of white. It turns on and off sometimes. It does? On its own. Come on, Pete. I know. Come on. I know. I just said that with my tax return. I'm going to go get a TV. Nice. Yeah. Maybe you give the kids something nice. Nope. This one, they say not to buy at Walmart, and it's books. Now, you're thinking, what? Why not get books there? They are the lowest prices. But the problem is the local businesses that sell books and stuff like that, they're going to go out of business if you buy all your books at Walmart because it's cheaper. And the local businesses are the ones that carry the variety of every book. Walmart just carries the popular ones. Plus, aren't a lot of the prices set on the book itself? Yeah.

1:38:03So maybe they're trying to say if you're going to pay the same price, don't give money to Walmart. Give it to the local. Yeah, but they do like the 10% off at Walmart. Yeah, maybe they have like one of those stickers that says our price. Nice. And the last thing not to buy there, wood furniture. I think we know that. Why? What? Why wood furniture? I don't get it. It's the same as like Target too. What's the deal though? Well, isn't it cheaper at Walmart than Target? Yeah, but it kind of doesn't last long at all. Oh, they're just saying not to buy the wood furniture because it falls apart? That's all I can afford. What if it is? That's all you can afford. Yeah, you got to do what you got to do. You got to frugal. You know what I'm saying? You go to a yard sale. Maybe go to a yard sale. Would you buy anything from a yard sale ever? Because that means somebody else has used it. It's haunted. I probably think it's haunted. I probably think it's haunted. But they don't make furniture. I like old furniture. They don't make it like they used to. Weird. That's like an estate sale. It's like, you know it's all hot. Creeper, creepy creeper. But if you can't afford it, that's a much better way to go. Garage sales, estate sales. Some picture of some old woman. And you don't have to put it together. You guys, an estate sale is where somebody died and they sell their furniture. Not always. Really? What other situation is an estate sale? It's not like they died on that desk nearby. Sometimes people do it when they're moving.

1:39:20That's not an estate sale. On the East Coast, they call it an estate sale if they're moving, and you just tag everything in your house. I thought by definition that somebody died. No, sometimes on the East Coast, it's like, instead of putting it, like schlepping it all out onto the yard, it's like, all right, you go through my house and bring it to me. Still haunted. Yeah. I wouldn't buy a blender that way. It's haunted. Ew, I wouldn't buy one of those really nice long hallway rugs that's from an estate sale. Really? Yeah, and we just got it clean, but it's, I mean, the best price ever. It was an estate sale from Buckingham Palace. It's still technically an estate sale. Yeah, the queen actually went to prom, came home, threw up on it. It's so cool. It's priceless. We got it clean, though. It's fine. Can't even smell it anymore. Is that it? No. You've known them. Yeah. You've seen them. They may even be you. Woods just points them out. It's time for Dude, You're Dumb. Now, Dude, You're Dumb is that guy. It's the person that you know, that you see in line that does something dumb. That's all it is. Or girl. Guy or girl. 570-1949. Call us and tell us. Woods, you got some.

1:40:30Oh, yeah, for sure. How about the drag race guy in his Honda Civic that slammed down an inch off the ground? Thank you. Maybe don't rev your engine at the red light. I don't think the dad in the minivan next to you wants to race you down Rancho Santa Fe. 100%. Dude. I can't stand. You're in a Honda, pal. Yeah, I can't stand Japanese car guy. Oh, I know. whizzing down frosted tips real good I get like sometimes if you get next to that person and you've got a series of the lights that are only like 100 yards away from each other. And they're like, to the next red light. It's 100 yards down the road. Yeah, you got me. Yeah, you're like, hey, I love that turbo lawnmower you have under there. That's really awesome. I love that weed blower that you had, that leaf blower. But I've always wanted a really fast car. Yeah, me too. I'd be dead in two days. Of course. If I drive SUVs. Bumper sticker guy. Over bumper sticker guy. I got to follow you around for 12 miles just to get your bit. Yeah.

1:41:32You know what he's talking about? The person that has 85 bumper stickers? Geez, dude, how many things are you into? All you need is a Mikey Show M1 Nation bumper sticker. It's the only thing you need on there. That's all I've got on my ride. You just need one. Do I really need to see Calvin doing his thing on, you know, Democrats, Walmart, Chevy, or something that we all think is bad anyway, like Genocide? Yeah, have you seen those? Yes, dude. Calvin, like above a genocide sticker? Over a picture, over the word. It'll be like over the word genocide. And you're like, really, dude? Above greed. Greed, yeah. Really? Really, pal? Yeah, really, guy. And by the way, where'd you get that anyway? Did you make that during arts and crafts time? Yeah. With your little origami scissors? Yeah. Dude, you're dumb. But not only are you dumb, you're also a huge clown. Thank you. Okay? Thank you. All right, this was one that hit home for the kid last week. I was at the Padres game. We were at the ball game, me and Fenwick.

1:42:28And the guy sitting next to me was sitting at home like he was home on the toilet. He had his legs spread wide. He was using both armrests. And I'm like, finally, I go, Johnny, we got to go, dude. We got to move our seats. Luckily for us, there was about 40,000 other seats to choose from. Dude, you're dumb. We got M1 Molly on the line with one of her own. Go ahead, Molly. Oh, hey, what's up? What's going on? Hey, I don't know if you guys ever had this happen to you, but I get friends or family members that call me. They can't get a hold of me on my cell phone. They'll call me on my work line and they'll be like, where are you? I'm at work. You just called me, didn't you? They call you where you are at and say, where are you? Call your home phone. Go, where are you? Yeah, they call my home phone. Like, where are you? What number did you call? I'm like in the bathroom. I'm on the toilet. Like, where exactly? Like, what? room do you want me to specify like you idiot what does it matter really yeah like you think about what number you called idiot do you ever get the thing where they call your cell phone you don't answer and then they call your home phone and you're like well it must be important and they're calling it to ask you if you watched lost yeah or they call your cell phone like seven times without leaving a message and you're like oh my gosh they didn't leave a message something must be up call them up hey where are you

1:43:42What are you doing? I like the guy who calls your cell phone and he's like talking to you like if there's an answering machine. Hey, man, why don't you pick up? Come on, pick up. I'm like, dude, really? I'm right here. I can't pick up my phone because I can't hear it. You know what, though? I think that Jay just may have thought inadvertently of the greatest invention ever. Can you imagine if you could screen your cell phone call? Yeah. And during the middle of it, you could go, oh, wait, wait, what's up, dude? So what's up? That would be cool. That would be good. Well, that's what you can do at home, which is why people somehow think, you know, by talking that way through your cell phone, maybe it's the same. Yeah, you can at home, but it would be great to be able to do that with a cell. That's why I like text messages. Yep. Yep. For real. Me too. Get to the point. M1Able? Hey, how's it going? Good, man. Hey, the guy who's dumb is that super buff dude who wears the extra small shirt. Yeah, this medium. Smedium. Smedium. Smedium. It's a creatine shirt. I was like, you really know you're buff. You don't need to show it off any more than freaking your vain personnel. 100%. Jamie and I were heading to, we were going out Saturday night and I go, look at it. I go, I can't wear the shirt. The shirt's a Smedium. And she looked at it and she's like, yeah, you might want to put that one back in the closet. I was like, yeah, it's Smedium. I can see what you, it was like a belly shirt. Yeah. Dude, it's a thing. It's a thing right now.

1:45:00The dudes with the small shirts. There's a million fads that I see that I go, I'll never take part in. When I met Todd, he's going to kill me. He wore this medium. Oh, Toddy. He was really into working out before I met him. He was really in shape. You know what that tells me? He still is. It's working, obviously. Yeah, it worked. You got her. You got her Sienna, a hot girl. Yeah, but no, that was one of the first things that changed. Really? So you liked him in spite of the fact that you wore the sleeves? Yeah, that was one of the things I would say to my friends, like, yeah, yeah, he's hot, and he's really cool, but the shirts, man. Do you know what that qualifies as? What? Qualifies as one of those things that either men or women do that they think. The opposite sex thinks it's hot, and they don't. Well, a lot of girls, I mean, I know you guys know the nickname Todd the God. It worked before. PTG, baby. Yeah, but I was like. That'll get you real good. Don't make it right. Real sweet. Was he wearing them, like, fashion-wise or, like, to work out in? Like, with jeans. Like, out. Yeah. Like, medium-like. Were they, like, collared? Did they have collars? No, no, no. It would just be, like, a T-shirt, and he had. This is kind of a Smedium. I will say this. I mean, you guys might filet me for this one.

1:46:09I think it's kind of cool when rock stars wear the medium button downs. Black. Yeah, that's okay. It looks like rock stars. They can do whatever they want. They're holding onto a microphone and they got on that, you know. Yeah, but. That's cool. Imagine them trying to give someone a hug. Yeah. They can't like. I can't put my arms in front of me. Absolutely. But there's a million things that women do and the guys do that they think that the opposite sex thinks is real sexy. It isn't. There's so many things that women wear that I go, that's not cute. And other women will see it and go, oh my gosh, it's so cute. And I'm standing there, I'm like, to you guys? There's a couple things I can't stand. There's these new dresses that girls are wearing. They're like, it makes them look bigger. Thank you, dude. You know what I'm talking about? There's so many things that chicks wear that make them look bigger. Why would you do that? I wore one to the meet and greet. You did? I don't think you did. I know what you're talking about. It's like a straight down. No, that's straight down. These make it look like your bellies. No, it's bigger. Are they the ones that have like an empire waist? It's like a band right under the boobs. What is an empire waist? It squeezes right here instead of right here. Under the boobs. Under the boobs. Don't like that. Don't like it either. But then it like flails out underneath. Every girl. They're cute. Every girl thinks those are great. And they're awful. And every dude is like. They're so comfortable, that's why. And every dude's like.

1:47:31No. So are sweatpants, but you got to know when to wear those too. Right. Well, dress is more elegant than sweatpants. Like your dress, the deal was not. It was straight down. It was cute. It still is. Go straight. Form fit your body. You can have empire waist as long as it still falls straight down. But it's the ones that. No, you can't. Yes, you can. No, you can't. Wait, what? I wear that all the time. Chicks think that that's great. Chicks think those. I wore one to the meet and greet myself. You have the respect of every woman in the world. Every guy in the world is like, can't you wear a tank top? Can't you go topless? That's what every guy is saying. Guys like, you know when girls were wearing, and maybe they still do, layered tank tops? Yeah. Guys like it because we get to see your figure. And your cans. We're not, I'm not saying that it's like. I am. Okay. But you know what I'm saying. I think guys do like to see. Yeah. It doesn't have to be Slooty. Well, there's a lot of those like pregnancy type tops. Like I could wear a lot of the shirts that I had before I was pregnant. I can wear easily now because they're like pregnancy tops. M1 Kirk has a pretty funny dude. You're dumb. Let's hear it. Kirk. Go ahead. Yes, sir. Go ahead, man. So, mind those guys and that guy. Okay. Mind those guys is the guys that wear, like, spandex and ride bikes around all over the place, and they have, like, 18 fake sponsors all over themselves. Fake sponsors? Fake sponsors. Pick that up in the thrift store. Yeah, they're buying those patches at Walmart. Easy Lance, yeah.

1:48:54That's my bit in the car. Woodsy does. Like, if you drive with Woodsy and you see him, Woodsy goes, easy land. Easy land. Maybe go find a Costco to ride around in, pal. Yeah, Costco parking lot. Yeah, the parking lot. My bad guy was yesterday I was driving, and I saw one overweight guy in, like, sweats and a sweatshirt trying to keep up with these guys. That would be me. That'd be me 150%. What's wrong with that guy? Nothing. I would be that guy. He's busting it out. He's trying to make a ride for himself. Guys, wait up. Guys. That's me still in my driveway. But that's your motivation is following those other people, you know? Absolutely. Was he on a bike? Was he on a bicycle? He had a really nice bike, but he just didn't have the outfit together, and it made me laugh. I got another one, Mike. I got another one and I see it every Sunday when I play ball. What is it? And you'll see it. Hopefully you won't see it Thursday at the Mikey Show Invitational, but it's super nice equipment. Can't play a lick guy. It's the guy that comes up to the plate and he's got, he comes up, he's got eye black on, he's got sunglasses, he's got four wristbands, he's got a shin guard. He has like the $2,000 baseball bat and the dude looks.

1:50:12Like, I mean, he couldn't hit his way out of a paper bag. And the worst is on the golf course. Glove, baseball gloves. Gloves, the whole thing. And the sunglasses, like everything. But then the guy on the golf course is the worst. He has the $50,000 clubs with the pro-style bag. Right. Like with the big bag with his name on it. And this guy steps up and you're like, oh, I'm dead. This guy's going to kick my ass today. Right. And the guy is awful. But that's smart of him. No, no. Because it's like, you know, I may not know what I'm doing. He's playing for his score. You know what I mean? Make it till I make it. Make it till you make it? I guess. I just think that guy's a clown. This next one is me. This next one is I'm the dude you're dumb. Perfect. M17 up. Yo. What's yours? You walk into like the fast food type, not fast food, but like a Daphne's or a Panera. You got your baby. You got your plates of food. You're looking for a spot. And there's dude thinking that the booth. It's his own personal office. Yep. Oh, yeah. With laptops. Oh, yeah. Newspaper. That would be me. Really, dude? That's been me because Panera has free Wi-Fi. So I'll just, like, post up for hours. I think his point is he's like, hey.

1:51:19I've got a family I'd like to sit down, and we need a booth. But it's being taken up by one dude who's decided to make it into Merrill Lynch right there in the Panera. He's taking client meetings. He's making cold calls. He's cold calling. I kind of see both sides, though, because, I mean, yeah, it kind of sucks he took the booth, but it's more comfortable. Like, why can't he have comfort? See, that's what I'm thinking. Like, it was until he said it that I was like, oh, you can't do that. Well, just be aware. Look around. Be like, hey, dude, I mean, if it's you there with your four laptops and your... your iPad, and your iPhone. Most of the tables are four tops anyway, so where's he supposed to sit? There's some little guys in there. There's some little guys, little bubs in there. Maybe they were taken. Little tiny chairs. I'm in a booster seat. I got a little booster seat. Little boots. Little boots has a booster. Yeah, I'm the guy that would be picking up the phone going, Hi, Mr. Johnson. Hi, my name's Mike Esparza. I just wanted to give you a call today and give you a great opportunity that maybe you can get in on. See what you thought. Well, the Bluetooth just complicates things. You'll be like, you just walk by somebody and they'll go, oh, how are you doing? I'm like, oh, good. Weird. He points to his ear. He points to his ear. Dummy, I'm on the phone. Hey, Blondie, get it together. You're like, oh, I'm sorry. I was at the grocery store. I didn't know you were ripping the mic at the grocery store. Do you know what we did yesterday? What? We decided on an organizer that we're hiring. A professional.

1:52:43Silence. Organize. For your closet? Nope. Your life? Kitchen. Oh. What? Person comes in, Woodsy. I'm so confused. And they take your silverware drawer, your pots and pan drawer, your everything drawer. They take it all out. You get rid of the stuff you don't need. And they put it back. And you pay them to do that. Do you need me to come over? I do. I can do that in my sleep. Is that your Mother's Day gift to Rebecca? Yes. It's a good one. Yeah. The organizer. Really? Happy as a clam. Happy as a clam. Elated. Just do it yourself. Takes days. Does it? They do do it better. They do a great job. They'll even put like labels. I'm like really good at following a system. I'm not that good at coming up with a system. Right. So that would be a good person for me. I can come up with them. I can't follow it. I can. If I come up with them, then I constantly question if that's the best way. Weird. Already. I just moved in and I'm like. thinking about the way that I set up where the dishes are in relation to where the glasses are, I'm like... It's already bothering you, right? Yeah, I'm like, I don't know if that's the best placement. I don't think anyone's ever really satisfied with where the things are, though. It's like, should it be there? Yeah. I am. Want to hear about the snake that they found in the woman's stomach after four years? What? Me too. About a little Woods of Wisdom. Oh, yeah. If you want to ask Woodsy a question...

1:54:12Because I think that Woods is a pretty good source of like, hey, man, what do you think about this? I'm liking this girl. What do you think about this, Woodsy? Or, hey, Woods, what do you think about wearing this? Woods, what do you think about this cologne? Woods, what do you think about this dating thing? He's brutally honest. He's brutally honest, and he'll give you his opinion on what he thinks you should do. It's called Woods of Wisdom, and you can find it at MikeyShow.com. We'll do that when we come back, and I'll also tell you about the lady with the snake in her stomach. Four years, snake in the stomach. Oh, my God, it's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar.

1:55:12Let's see. Tuesday night, the 11th, go see Ben Folds and a piano. That's at House of Blues and it is all ages. This coming Friday night, the album leaf will play with Seawolf at the Birch North Park Theater. Broken Bells are at Humphreys next Tuesday, the 18th. Minus the Bear hits Soma on the 22nd. And the National will play Spreckles Theater Sunday, May 23rd. Just announced, Silver Sun Pickups hits Soma Saturday, August 7th. Tickets go on sale Saturday the 15th. So there you have it. Get out there at things on shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. When you promise to be the station that doesn't waste your time, every minute counts. At 10 News, every night starts with 10 minutes of nonstop news, highlighting today's major news and covering late-breaking developments in just 10 minutes. When you want news, turn to 10 News. ABC Tonight. When the dancing's done, there's one more thing America waits for. Please tell me there's been a murder. And all new ABC's Castle has one hot detective in hot pursuit of a killer.

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2:02:02Welcome back. Sorry, I was furiously trying to have breakfast there. That's what we have to do. We have to feast very quickly. That's right. Real sweetly. Real sweetly and quickly. You have to. Let's see. Welcome back to the show. Mikey Show is myself, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna, and Jay. What's the matter, bubs? I think my shoulder's doing the thing again. Again? All I got to do is just have my... That was Wood's computer. I'm trying to get our sandwiches ready. That's their sight. Don't forget pickles and cookies. You're already worried about our Monday meeting sandwiches? I'm glad he is. It's a big problem. They didn't necessarily make me hungry.

2:03:57I don't really get that. It makes you feel calm though, right? That's their website. I love it. Tell me about the woman that had the snake in her stomach for four years. I believe this story is out of the UK. They usually are. Yeah, they always are. This woman who, oh my God, it's just, it's disgusting. She's 35 years old. For four years, she was living with a snake in her stomach. Now, in the article, it doesn't say how the snake... got in her stomach. Isn't that the point? Yeah. Don't you, I mean, isn't that the first question? You're the reporter and you're going to write that story. You might want to find that out. It doesn't say, and I even Googled to try to find more articles on it and it was all the same article that I have posted over and over again. That's like me doing a story going, Padres had a baseball game last night. And not saying if they won. And not saying anything about it. And everyone's like, well, what happened? I know. It was a good game. Authorities think she was in a snake eating contest. How else do you get a snake in your belly? Maybe she swallowed the egg. The thing is that she had no idea that the snake was in there. Really? No, this is the creepiest thing you've ever heard in your life. Okay. I don't know how it got there. Really, you don't? She said over time, I mean, it was growing over time, they found out, and she said that she would experience tickling and an uneasy sensation at the pit of her stomach. Maybe you get that checked out. Yeah.

2:05:17Maybe you go to the doctor. Maybe I have a snake in my stomach. You don't think that, you know? Darling, I think it's a snake, but I'm not sure. Why would it be a snake? Well, darling, because I was in a snake eating contest four years ago. And I think it might be one. I might have left one in. Could have left one in. And I didn't get rid of it. This is really disgusting. Are you ready? Yeah. Is that what happened? I don't even know I can see it. Really? Can I see it? No, you can say it. It's not bad. It's just disgusting. When fish or meat is being cooked in the room where she is, the snake doesn't like the smell of the food. So it rises up in the throat of the woman producing strangulation. This can't be true. This cannot be a true story. Where did this come from? This can't be true. Where did this come from? One of our prep sites, I believe. Really? It sounds like... cartoon. The New York Times. Look at Woods. He's having a hard time. From the New York Times. Why doesn't she get it removed? It really is. Okay, hold on. It's true. And physicians can see no way the snake can be removed without certain death to the woman who's 35 years old. Fine. Kill me. Right now she's in, you know, stable condition. She just has to stay around the house. She can't do anything too crazy. Couldn't they give her drugs that would put the snake to sleep? It really is from NewYorkTimes.com. Don't play the flute around her either.

2:06:39Oh, no. It's rising. Oh, my gosh. It's ridiculous. It's true, too. Oh, it's disgusting. That is shocking. That's repulsive. Imagine it getting bigger and bigger. How is it surviving? What's it eating? Whatever she eats. Yeah, whatever she eats. Oh, that's disgusting. It doesn't like meat or fish. It's like a Lauren snake. Yeah, it's a Lauren snake. I think I would risk the operation. You think? Or kill me. Either one. Just imagine knowing that that was in there. That's the filthiest story ever. That's so... It makes my skin crawl. I wonder if she can... Yeah. Wouldn't she get rid of it? You wonder if she can? Yeah. Wouldn't she have gotten rid of it that way? Yeah. Wouldn't you think that she has to? Because, like, how could it be possible that she doesn't? That's part of life. No, no, no. I mean, like, to pass. To pass it. Yeah. If there's a way to, like, empty out your stomach. She's been trying for, like, four years, I guess. But she didn't know. Maybe get a colonic. Yeah, exactly. You know? Maybe get a snake colonic. Then you just piss it off. What?

2:07:48Then you just piss it off. Piss the snake off. Oh, yeah. You just make it angry. Right? What if she starved herself for a little while? And it died? Yeah. She's got to eat. What if snakes can live longer than humans? What if she only ate like intravenously or just, you know, like. Intravenously. Intravenously. Through your veins. Made of aluminum. That's right. Yeah. She did like an IV. You guys ready for a little Woods of Wisdom? You know that. Now, this is great. Woods of Wisdom is where people actually go to our website and write us and ask questions to Woods. And he answers them. If you want to ask a question, you could also call us 5701-949 or text us 949mikey at gmail.com. Woods, how do I deal with a mother-in-law who tries to boss me around in my house regarding my kids? She's full of wisdom and won't shut up about it. That's M1 Decoy, Woodsy. M1 Decoy, you are in a world of trouble, my friend. Because if you... If you drop the hammer on the mother-in-law, your wife's going to be furious at you because that's her mother. So very delicately, you need to take her out to lunch. You need to do a one-on-one bit with her and say, listen, I really appreciate you. You do a lot for our family. You are the best. There's an old technique that the kid learned a long time ago in sales. What's that? It's called bread, meat, bread. How's that work? Okay. If, Mikey, you and I had a work argument, here's how I'd present it.

2:09:15You know, Mikey, I got to tell you, man, I could not be happier with this gig here at 94.9 working on the Mikey Show. But sometimes, man, when you come in in the morning, if you're in a bad mood, blah, blah, blah, you know, and then I give you that and then I say, but man, again, it's just so great working with you. We just got to get this figured out. Bread. So it's nice, mean, nice. Like it. Bread, meat, bread. Love it. Sugar. Salt, sugar. Yeah, either one. Like that, too. Sugar, salt, sugar. So you give the bread. It's a real soft layer. Then you give the meat of your argument, and then you add a little bread at the bottom. Just cushion it up. Dude, that's awesome. Bread, meat, bread. I love that. I love bread, meat, bread. And you have to approach it very gingerly. And, you know, you just come out and tell her. Real sweetly. Real sweetly. You can't drop the hammer on her because your wife will be so mad. If this was a situation in my house and, say, my mom was doing something annoying, Todd would just say to me, which I'm totally okay with, depending on how delicately, you know, he treads the situation. He'll just say, Sienna, look, it's bugging me. You talked to your mom about this. Fix it up. Or I would. How do I approach your mom? How do I approach your mother? Yeah, but I would rather do it. Yeah. But see, then, here's the thing with that.

2:10:26You're now the tattletale. And now your mom is going, wow, God didn't even have the stones to come to me himself. See, but I wouldn't ever put it on Todd. I would put it on me. You'd say that you noticed it. Yeah. And I'm going to say, mom, you know, just remember like you're in our house, you know, and you always are kind of telling him that that chair shouldn't go there or whatever. And it's just like, you know, it bothers me. You need to have the respect being in our house. And I would put it on me. I'm real lucky with my mother-in-law. She's not that lady, but I know people that they deal with that where the mother-in-law. wants to interject with stuff now i actually had that talk with my mom uh because i did notice it i noticed that there was you know comments about kids yeah and that's cool but the deal is is with moms you already had your time raising kids yeah your time we made it we're okay we're gonna do it we're gonna be okay yeah now we got a baby and we'll raise this one yeah we're gonna be okay and that's important man it's important to be able to raise your own kid because You'll get, you know, sometimes your spouse, they're not as down with your mom's input. And they don't need to be, you know. No. Like, just because it's your mom doesn't mean that they, you know, they should always be polite and nice. But, you know. For sure. You probably don't love their mom. Yeah. Bread meet bread makes it right. I love bread meet bread. It's great. It works for relationship problems with your wife, with your boss, with, you know, your coworkers, whatever. I mean, it's just a good way to get your point across without sounding like a D.

2:11:55How about this one? Woods, every time I start dating a girl, I never know how to go in for that first kiss. I've never figured out anything that doesn't come off as lame and awkward. What's the right move? M1 pistachio. I think the right move is probably Jack Daniels. It's probably number one is the best thing to do. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. I'm trying to think of some of the best ways. Is there even one? Yeah, what about you ladies? Have you ladies ever had a move that was like more appealing than another? No, I think it's just kind of being aware of the right moment. A move is like a pickup line, okay? A move, if you've got a move or a pickup line, chances are it's probably not going to work. And going to come off as canned. And going to come off as canned and it's going to come off as cheesy. But if you could do something like, I don't know, if you guys are out to dinner and maybe it's like your second date or third date or whatever,

2:12:56Go up kind of next to her, whisper something, you know, or kind of just nuzzle her neck a little bit and just get really close to her. See if you have that connection. Nuzzle up to her neck. I don't think the nuzzle up to the neck is good, but I think maybe like. Let's work for the kid about 500 times. What do I know? I think you should be paying attention the entire time, not just thinking, like, the entire time you're on a date, when do I kiss, when do I kiss, when do I kiss? Pay attention to her little subtleties. Like, is she giving you the go-ahead, or is she, like, all, you know, all stop signs? You know what the terrifying fear is? That you're going to get L.O.B'd. Oh, dude, it's the worst. L.O.B'd. Yeah, L.O.B. Famous Mikey Show story. L.O.B. says to this dude that goes in for the kiss, she goes, what did you say, no thank you or something? He said, can I kiss you? Yeah. And you said? I said, no. No. And turned her head to the side. Turned her head to the side. Did the squint. Little bit of the squint. No. And then shook her head. No. I do have one thing that'll work. What? That this works. So you guys are at dinner. You just finished a nice dinner. You're at Donovan's or something. And you're walking outside. Grab her hand. Start that contact. That's what I was going to say. Grab her hand.

2:14:09And pull her out behind you or next to you and hold her hand. Get that and put your hand on the small. I like it. Put your hand on the small of her back. That's better than the actual hand reach. Or like when she says something funny at dinner, put your like. Hand on her knee? Like, not the grabbing of the hand. Weird. Put your hand on her boob if she says something funny. No, the small of the back is a good move. The small of the back is a great move. And see if she kind of, like, coils away or is like, hmm, keep that there. What if it startled her, but she wasn't necessarily like, get away from me? Do it again. Later. Try it again. Try it again. Can I tell you guys, I think that Todd had the best first kiss move ever. Yeah. And we had just finished our first date. We were, you know. at dinner or whatever and then we decided to go to drinks after so we went to a bar and we got out of the car I was kind of walking like a couple steps in front of him and he was just right behind me right and he just reached forward and grabbed my hand and like turned me around and just went in for it and I was like yes really kissing rapist it was like a mess it's a scary move to do it doesn't go with everyone but he was like super confident and it was like he couldn't wait any longer you know

2:15:16You weren't like, excuse me, but no means no, and this is my body. It was the best ever. That's cool. You know what? Women love a confident, you know. But I bet Sienna was giving the go-ahead all night. I'm sure I was giving the go-ahead all night. I was in on him. She had three margaritas and said, kiss me outside or you're dead. You better kiss me. You better grab me and spin me around. What was the best? It was the feeling like he couldn't wait another instant. He needed to do it right then. I was like, yes. For guys, sometimes when you have that, you'll know it. And you're like, Got it. You know, you just know you got it. If you have to question it, you might want to wait. Never have experience. Never have. Not once. Yeah, right. Shut up. I want to hear first kiss stories. My wife kissed me first. Yes. I would have never done it. Because I'm too much. Because I think I'm going to get the head to the side. No. And the smile. And the shaking the head. No. How'd she do it? She just did it. You know what happened? I picked her up at the airport. We came to a stoplight. And she leaned over and kissed me. It's amazing. She had to get it over with. It should have been the other way around. Of course it should have. But you didn't want to be the kissing rapist. Did you feel like a little Sally after it happened? Of course I did. But you were stoked. I still feel like a little Sally. Even telling the story feels a little Sally-ish. M1CB's on the line. You got a crazy mother-in-law story? I do. I love the show, Mikey. Thank you, bro. Yeah, my mother-in-law, she's completely nuts. And I've told my wife this constantly.

2:16:45My wife, she's eight months pregnant, and we've been kind of keeping the name from everybody for a while. But finally, my mother-in-law dragged it out of her and said, okay, what's the name? I told her. And the next day, she called us, and she told my wife. She said, your daughter came to me in my dream, and said she doesn't like her name. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? My God. That's insane. All right. So bread, meat, bread obviously isn't going to work with your mother-in-law. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on. Hang on. Was that your mom that did that to your wife? No, his mother-in-law. His mother's my mother-in-law. Did that to her daughter? Yeah. Did that to her daughter? What did your wife say? She said that I don't care what my daughter thinks. She can change her name when she gets older. Yeah, that's a good answer. That's unbelievable. That's like in a movie. That's like in a movie. And it's one of those deals where you go, man, let me tell you, 39 years of age, I've heard a lot of them. I've heard a lot. That one, that's up there. You know what I think? It's up there with coo, coo. I don't think that grandma, soon to be grandma, had that dream. Nor do I. Really? Yeah, me either. I think she thought of, well, how can I tell them I don't like the name? That isn't me telling them. And you hear me say this a lot. You hear me say this a lot. Fast forward the tape. Fast forward the tape. Love to say this to mom.

2:18:14Hey, Mom, did you fast forward that tape? How did you envision that going? Was that going to be a situation where you tell me that and did you really expect to hear this? Really, Mom? You're kidding. Oh, my gosh. Thank goodness. Thank goodness she spoke out to you from the netherworld. How does she? Netherworld. How does she look? Yeah, how does she? Yeah, first of all, is she real cute? Is she cute? Is she healthy? And my goodness, Mom. Thank you for the information. I will now begin talking to my husband about different names. Time to switch it up. That's why I have a lot of friends and family that are going through what Sienna's going through now and kept the name a secret because it's like you're going to hear from the peanut gallery for the next seven months and tell them. I don't blame you, Sienna. Smart. The name I'm thinking of right now is like a name that you may have heard before, but it's not very common. And I told my mom, she's like, yeah, you know. Actually, I was talking to someone and they told me that's like the most common name. I'm like, no, it's not. Really, mom? Really, mom? Really, mom? Really, mom? What's the new bit with... Do you have to have a weird name? Do you have to have one? Is that the bit now? No, man. I say go against convention. I'm going to name my kid Mel. Do anything. For me, my name Sienna is so unique that my mom was like, well, don't you want to have a name that when you...

2:19:30When your daughter tells it to someone, they're like, oh, that's such a beautiful name. Because I did, was lucky enough to have that growing up. People were like, oh. I want my kid under the radar. Yeah. Well, I just want to let you guys know, the story gets worse. Oh. Yes. It does. It gets worse. We dropped the bomb on her yesterday saying we don't want anybody in the delivery room. It's just going to be me and my wife. Oh, my. That's not a bomb. Well, to her it was. It's a personal request. Flipped out. You are kidding. She flipped out. And she, rather than. Saying it to our faces, you know, how she felt. She had another dream. Well, no, she didn't have another dream. So the baby said that's inappropriate to not let me in the waiting room. She put it on Facebook. She sent us a text message. What did it say? A really long one saying, I can't believe that I've lost my daughter. I lost my daughter all those years ago, and I will leave you up to your husband's more superior protection. That's actually a really good idea. That's actually a great idea. Not for her to leave her to be the husband. That's what you should do, Mom. Well, a man shall leave his mother. It was nuts. It was just absolutely crazy. Oh, that's cookie. And my wife is freaking out now, saying, like, this massive guilt is on her shoulders. No. And she's eight months pregnant. Well, yeah, she's eight months pregnant, and I just said, listen, you have to label her as a crazy person. You can't defend a crazy person. You just look like crazy.

2:20:58Well, I think the compliment sandwich, the bread meat bread, might help with her right now. Maybe. Because she needs to know that, like, look, you're going to be an important role in our child's life. And you're going to play this role as a grandmother, which is so important. And my grandmother meant a lot to me growing up. But I do. This is my family now. My husband is my family. I may be going out on a limb with this one. I think that this mom may be beyond bread meets bread. She sounds completely cuckoo. She does. That's a cuckoo thing. She's insecure about something. I know a couple guys. Maybe just whack her out. Weird. Weird. Weird. I don't know where she went. She's made a living off of telling people that she communes with the dead and communes with the other world. Oh, that adds to the story. She's a nut. Thank you. Thank you, CB. That's the greatest call I've ever heard. Yeah, that mom would be... Mike, what do you do? What do you do? You know what I do. You know what I do. My deal is absolutely 100% boundaries. I talk about boundaries all the time. I think boundaries are so important. You lay down the law. As soon as the first one happens, when the very first one happens, you do it then. You don't wait.

2:22:17You don't let it pile up to two or three of these. As soon as a mother-in-law or even your own mom is too much with what you should be doing with your kids or whatever, you immediately pull them aside and say, yeah, you can't do that anymore. You don't let the bricks pile up, pal. Exactly. That's what you don't do. Exactly. Kim's mom did not like me whatsoever when we first started dating. Weird. She cut off communication. Well, at first she kind of talked to Kim. And then she wouldn't talk to us at all. I called her father and said, you know, look, I'm sorry if I did any, you know, no, nothing. We had kids. We had Maddie. Still nothing. Wow. And it was finally when I think we had Liberty, she finally came around. That's shocking. And I just was like, hey, tough, you know. And it was hard on Kim because she was out of their life. But I was like, man, I tried, you know. Jay, that's shocking. Yeah. But how are they now? She's good. She still comes in. She'll do the whisper thing. They're like, yeah, you better keep it shut. Yeah. That's not appropriate. You know what you do, Jay? Next time she comes, you tell her to get. Yeah. You tell her the kid said get. Yeah, you can tell when she's judging. It's just so hard for me. But I just keep smiling. I just keep doing what I'm doing. Kim's dad's fantastic. He's like a man among boys because I would do the complete flip out. Yeah. I'd be like, are you nuts? Really? You're going to call us and like.

2:23:41say that we can't name our child. You're crazy. Now, do you think that would make it better or worse? I don't care. You don't? No. I would think that you would care about it. Drop the hammer, dude. Really? Yeah. And plus, my wife would do the same thing. Yeah. Oh, real quick. M1 Austin has a great move on that first kiss. M1 Austin, you there? Austin, are you still there? It's his cell phone. Hi, Austin. Austin? Hey, Mikey. How you doing, buddy? Pretty good. I was just calling about the dude who was wondering how to go in for the kiss. You're a sharp cat. I can already tell, though, dude. You're like a surfer guy. Laid back. Yeah, you probably got the six-pack abs. How you doing? You know what I mean? Go Creeper? Not at all, Mikey. Not at all. Really? Yeah, I'm about $1.95 and $5.10. That's great. That's great. What are you talking?

2:24:38That's a lot of training. What's the move, pal? Yeah, what do you do? But for the guys that aren't sure, the classic wait for the door thing about it is, so you have to always look into the eyes because women, when they want you to kiss them, they tend to look at your lips and look back up at your eyes and look at your lips and look back up at your eyes. So you're saying wait until you get to her door before you try the first kiss. If you're a little shy, I... Don't usually wait for the door. Okay, Austin, why are you telling us to wait for the door if you don't usually wait for the door? For the guys that aren't sure about... Okay, but what do you do? Me? Yeah. I'm a downtown type of guy. I like to catch them by surprise. Well, why don't you tell us that? How come you don't tell us to catch them by surprise? Because some guys are a little shy and a little giddy about... Freaking a woman out. I think there's way too much pressure for the get out of the car, wait till the door moment. So I think if you're going to do it, do it sooner than that. I like the idea of testing the waters with a hand hold. Yeah. But he's right about the looking. Really? She'll linger if that's what she's looking for. She's not going to go, okay, goodnight, and hurry away from him. If she's kind of looking and like, so, that was really fun. No.

2:26:09Is it true that women will do the thing where they look at your mouth and look at your eyes? I think it might be. I like it, Sienna. You know I would. You knew I was going to like it. It's Jordan Sparks. It's Jordan Sparks. Our American Idol, one of them. There's another Woods of Wisdom that I'd still like to get out there. Let's do it. So when we come back, we'll give you the other one. It's about, it has to do with Facebook. Should be great. What's next? You're listening to The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. 60 days. A lot can happen in 60 days. You can plant some tomatoes and watch them bloom. Make a new friend. Add that final touch of genius to your screenplay. And now, 60 days is how much time you have to get the Lexus of your dreams at the 60 to 0 certified pre-owned sales event. Through June 1st.

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2:32:07This report, it's brought to you by CarMax. CarMax will buy your car today, even if you don't buy one from them. That's why the smart choice is always CarMax, the way car buying should be. On the 78 westbound Nordahl Road, an accident over on the left shoulder. A couple cars in the center divider. They're under that overpass. And the 5 northbound after the 8. Be careful, there is a big metal object in the number 4 lane. Cars swerving to avoid it. Escondido just cleared up here on the 15 southbound. Before the 78, we had a car that was over on the right shoulder, but it's moved and out of the way, so you should be able to get through. This report is brought to you by your local REMAX office. Start your search for the perfect home at REMAX.com. See all the listings in thousands of cities and towns. Visit REMAX.com today. Nobody sells more real estate than REMAX. Outstanding agents, outstanding results. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now. Back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. You cannot quit me so quickly. There's no hope in you. No corner you could squeeze me. But I got all the time for you. That's like honey to my ears. That's right. Dave, that's you. That's you, man.

2:33:35You can't remember the words? You think they're on the inside of that scraggly robe you're wearing? That's good. Go back to sleep, Dave. Okay. It's not called the stage between. The stage between. All right, Woodsy, you ready? I'm ready. Woods of Wisdom. People writing in, asking Woodsy questions. You can call, too, if you have one. 5701-949. What about this one? And you can call to give input about these two. Absolutely. Woodsy, my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year. Recently, she felt like I'm being distant and she's doing this weird thing where she's becoming friends with a lot of people I know on Facebook that she barely knows. She's only met them once or twice. They accept her, but then they ask me about it and I tell them I have no idea why she's doing it. Hit the button. No, no. The button.

2:34:30Crazy. Oh, that button. I'm like, what the heck? You're like, are you giving me a preemptive dump? Yeah. I was like, is Woods about to cuss? There's only one button I know. His face. His face. But if she's becoming distant, why would she? No, no, he's becoming distant. Yeah, she said that he's becoming distant. Oh. And he says now she's doing this thing where she's becoming friends with a lot of people I know on Facebook that she barely even knows. She's only met them once or twice. They accept her but ask me about it and I tell them I have no idea why. This is a normal move. I asked my girlfriend, and she says that it's weird that I'm making such a big deal out of it. That is weird. I'm sorry. That is weird. He says, am I? M1, curbside. Curbside. No, you're not. Well, they've been dating for a year. Why does he not want her to be friends with his friends? But these are people that she barely knows. Well, that she's met a couple of times. Why does she need to be friends with everybody? I'm friends with some of Todd's friends that I've only met with one time. And you requested them? I'm friends with Todd's brother. I've met him once. Yeah. And you requested him as a friend? No, they requested me. You're not dating Todd. That's very, yeah. And the difference. But I've had my, like Matt's friend that I've never even met before. Yeah. Friend request me. Really? Yeah. Because you're an important person in that guy's life. They're like, oh, okay. You know what it seems like to me?

2:35:49It seems like she's sniffing around. That's what I think. I think so, too. So if a guy does it, it's normal. Yeah, completely. Once a girl starts doing it, she's a psycho. Yeah. Would a guy do that? Exactly. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren just put the nail on the head. Well, do you think a guy would do that? Maybe they would. Maybe they would. Would you? Yeah? You don't really know him that well, but you request him as a friend? Some guys would. Yeah. That's weird, though, to me. The whole thing is, I wonder if he is becoming distant. I guess he is, because that's what she thinks. Let's say he is becoming distant. I'm failing to see the correlation. Can I say what I think is going on? I think she's going... Is he cheating? I'm losing him. I want to know what's going on. So why would she... So that you see all their Facebook statuses. See what he's up to. You're the man. No, yeah. It's called Mike of Wisdom, dude. I don't know. Maybe that's wrong. That could be completely dumb. I don't think it's necessarily the Facebook statuses, but it's kind of like... That's it. I mean, I can see, and I do think she's maybe doing a little snooping around, but it's... Weird. Really? I think it's innocent. It could be statuses to be like, dude, Mark's party was a bomb this weekend. Or like, Vegas. She's like, oh, really? Yeah. All your best friends are going to Vegas, but you claim you're going to your parents' house.

2:36:59That's really funny. That's right. You know, the next drop we need to get is the Magnum P.I. theme song for L.O.B. If that's happening to you and you're seeing that your boyfriend's telling you he's going to his parents' house, he's going to Vegas, that's not a good sign. Just leave that relationship. Exactly. That's a huge lie. If they've been dating for a year and he's like, what are you doing sniffing around my throat? Now, see, we've labeled this guy into some cheater. He hasn't done anything yet. No. No, I'm just saying he's not ready to. L.O.B.'s like, I'm just saying I suspect he's a cheater. Yeah, he's a man, right? I'm not saying he's a cheater. I'm not saying that he's a cheater at all. I'm saying that maybe he's like, I don't want you too close. You're getting a little too close. It's only been a year. I don't need you near my friends. I think that I would think it odd. I would. I don't know to what degree I would be upset about it, but I think I would think it's odd. Who are their friends to call him and be like, oh, your girlfriend friend requested me. What's up with that? Like, okay, jerk. She's being nice. Maybe they mention it. No, whatever. I have a couple of girlfriends that their boyfriend's friend requested me immediately. We met one time around there. Creepers. Creepers. That's men. They're creepy. I remember thinking like, wow. Thinks you're hot? Yes, you're right. No, I don't know. He just wants to get in with his girlfriend.

2:38:12I friend requested Jamie Woods' wife and sent her a message before I met her. Me too. But we work together. Yeah. We all work together. We're a family. I never even met her. So it's like, oh, okay. Well, you can talk about this person all the time. You know? Facebook is so informal. Yeah. And another thing is maybe your boyfriend or the boyfriend in it talks about these friends all the time. And you've never seen them. You want to know what they look like. M1, Alyssa, are you there? Yeah. The guys are completely right. Halfway through the email, I was like, She's kind of stalking him, trying to find out what's going on. Thank you. She's, what do you call it? You have a line, Woodsy. I do? Sniffing around. Sniffing around. She's sniffing around. She is probably sniffing around. She's female, right? Then yes, she's probably sniffing around. I think the fact that he said that she said. He was becoming distant and then all of a sudden the request started. All of a sudden. That means she's sniffing around. But under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have seen. Yeah, in a normal deal like your case and my case. I wouldn't think it would be that weird because it happens to me all the time and I'm not like. I mean, when we all met, we all did the Facebook thing and the significant other thing. I looked for Todd. I still can't find Todd on Facebook anyway. That's right because he doesn't have a page. Never going to be there. Did you search under last name The God? I looked. I didn't. That is his last name. No. It's not The God. I think it's Todd The God, right? It's Todd The Fraud.

2:39:30Todd the Fraud. Todd the Fraud. He's your hubby. I know. I love you, guy. This is interesting. M1, Ken, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. How are you? Good. What are you calling about? Well, I got this buddy. I like going over to his house and stuff, but he's got this kid. It's a boy. He's like three or four years old. And he lets his kid run around naked all the time. That's adorable. Woods gave me the guy head nod. Right now. And I know what the head nod means. The head nod meant. Sound familiar, pal? Yeah. It's your bit, pal. Because my son, Jake. Oh, my gosh. Jake's a bit of a streaker. He's kind of a streaker. Yeah, he's a streaker. He shouldn't be a streaker. It just made me think he shouldn't be a streaker. It's in his own house. I'll tell you what. Like father, like son, dude. Really? We got to let him run around naked. Whatever. I agree. We shouldn't. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, pal. Ken, what is the deal? It creeps you out? It's a little weird. It makes me uncomfortable. Kids should have clothes on. How old is the kid? Three or four. Let me just... 94.9. Let me just give my perspective really quickly and then everybody can just feast on me. Everybody's going to attack me. I would have had a completely different take on this before I had kids.

2:41:01Completely. I would have said creepazoid. Put some kids on that clothes. Put some clothes on that kid. But now that we have Jake and he's going through the potty training thing and all that, you have the accidents. And so he won't have an accident without the dipe. And so we kind of go back and forth with the training with it and all that. But I totally get where you're coming from. I totally get where you're coming from. It could be. Put some clothes on the kid. I got a bit. At your house, it was probably... A bit. I'm trying to think. It was probably, I'd say, three weeks to a month ago. And Jamie's there with me. It's the first... She had just gotten in town. Maybe she was visiting. We went over and Jake was sitting on the couch. And I went over because Jake is my man. And I love Jake and I give Jake hugs and we play football and he's my boy. And I walk over to the couch and I can't see him. I turn to the corner and he's butt naked. Wait. He had a little blanket on, and then he took the blanket off, and he was nude on the blanket. And here's me sitting next to him like, hi, buddy, how are you? And then he takes the blanket off. He's nude. I'm like, ah! There's nothing wrong with you. So I literally, I, like, spring up. I'm like, hey, okay, you're ready for a reservation. What's he's right? What's he's right?

2:42:25No, when I went to your house for the Super Bowl party. Was he naked then too? People were like, does your kid have clothes? Why don't you buy your kid some clothes? All the adults were downstairs and Jake kind of was like yelling down like, hello. Hello. From the banister upstairs. And I remember looking up to see him and he was standing there naked. And Rebecca laughed or something. And I remember thinking, oh, that's so cute. Like I'm part of a family house. It's real cute. Okay, so Mikey walks in, and Jake's sitting on my lap in the nude. Jake, get Rebecca on the line. Let's ask my wife. What do you think? You see the kid there playing with your kid, and he's nude. You're like, really? You pedophile creep. I wouldn't think anything of it because I know you're not. Right, but still. Well, that and. It's weird. See, that's the other thing. I'm very used to seeing him run around naked now, but I think, I think. That Ken on the phone here is right. Yeah, but you don't want him to be all self-conscious about his body so young. It's great that he loves to be naked. It isn't that he's got to be self-conscious, but you can't just run around like that through Target. Maybe put some wind shorts on. I grew up on the beach butt naked when I was little. He'd run around the beach naked when I was little. Really? Oh, yeah. And your parents didn't think that there was anything? I was little.

2:43:41I was like, you know, when you're under five. I would not let my, unless I owned a beach and had a private beach. We did. Yeah, obviously. Hello. It's called La Jolla Shores. Ever heard of it? Lauren. This weekend, I went down to Moonlight Beach and it's like, it looked like summertime down there. It was all packed. And when I see naked kids out in public, it makes me feel, this kid was like running from the shower and we had to like dart one another. And I was like, oh, I'm looking in the wrong place. I felt like a creep. Well, he was 17. That's part of the reason that it was kind of weird. That is sad. I think it's sad because you don't see naked kids at the beach anymore, hardly ever. Thank God for that. There's too many creepers out there. I think in the home is one thing, but there is like some guy sitting on the beach like, oh, yeah. Yeah, there's a creeper. You know there could be. Would you do it, Sienna? Would you have your kid out there naked running around? Yeah, when she was little, I wouldn't care. I have plenty of kids that do it, but it always makes me feel like, okay, what if Joe Weird Umbrella over there is not the most reputable guy? He's got a crustache that looks like mine. You know what? Just watch your kid. If you're there, what's going to happen? Put clothes on your kid. Yeah, how about put on a pair of shorts?

2:44:56But whatever. What if you just walked down to the beach? Spontaneous beach trip, you know? Okay, great. How about a burka? Yeah, why don't you throw a burka on that baby? How about a poncho? Yeah, how about a baby burka? Oh, it's fine. You got my wife on the phone. I want to get her take. Honey? Yeah, hi. Hi. Were you listening? Yeah, I was. What's your take on naked nature, baby? Well, yeah, I'm not really that comfortable with it, despite what it may seem. You know, if Jake were an only child or if our circumstances were a little bit different, I think he would be dressed 100% of the time. In a tuxedo. In a tuxedo, yeah.

2:45:39Yeah, no kidding. Here's the thing. He has completely, completely mastered the art of taking off his clothes. But we haven't quite gotten good at putting on his clothes. Like I said, Rebecca, like father, like son. Whatever. Screw, screw, screw. Give him a scuba outfit. Maybe he has one of those domed tops on it. The old school. Yeah, old school. It's got a little lock. Yeah, so what happens is, you know, he, and he's potty trained, so he goes. you know, by himself now. So he'll go in, he'll take off all his clothes, he'll go potty, and then he just starts running around, you know? And I have to, you know, get him dressed again, and then I swear, it's like 15 minutes later. They're chasing him around. Because they think it's funny, too. And I don't think about it. I don't think about it. And so I have to consciously now be like, hey, put on some clothes there. Well, and I stopped by Friday after the show, went to the Chargers practice, and I came by to bring you the recorder. And Jake was having his lunch, and I went over and gave him a little kiss on the forehead and said, hey, buddy. And he goes, play football? I said, no, I can't play football today. And then he gets up, and he's running. He's got these little, tiny, little boy shorts. Boy chonies.

2:46:58That's so funny. And he's just running up the stairs. Now, that's a Rebecca deal. When he eats, she makes him take off all his clothes. Because he'll spill. Because he gets all over. Because he gets all over. Right. That's just terrible. I'm totally comfortable with him, you know, running around, especially during summer and stuff, in his underwear. Yeah, for sure. I do it. I don't want him running around naked. Yeah. But it's hard to keep track of him, you know, around the house. He's constantly taking off his clothes. And I'm like, oh, again? Yeah, again, is that me or Jake we're talking about? Yeah. Both of you. I'm talking about both of you. Thank you, honey. I love you. My youngest sister. Bye. Bye. My youngest sister, Waverly, when she was in preschool, the, like, principal of the preschool would call my mom almost every day because Waverly would take off all of her clothes, diaper, everything. For real? And they would tell her, put your clothes back on. And she was like, no. No. And she would just run out of her head. Zero percent. That kid loved to be naked. M1 Grace, you there? Yeah? What were you calling to say? I was calling to say, how come Americans are so uptight about the human body? I have the answer in one word. Okay. Perverts. Yep. There you go. Well, but it's not just perverts. You guys are saying the same thing. It's like, ooh, it's creeping me out. It's creeping us out because we know that we have perverts around. That's not true. It's not just the perverts. It makes you uncomfortable.

2:48:24Okay, you're also saying, okay, no, she's right. I have to, yeah, you're right. You're right. No, she's kind of right. Even in the house, there's no perverts in the house, yet we're still creeping out. We're creeping out. So she's right. Let's all just get nude. It's not appropriate. But it's a child. It's different between us and a child. We live in a commune? What is this? Woods is afraid he's going to be. thought of as a pervert yeah it is it's all about the pervert and it's because it became very taboo a long time ago in a puritan society the you know running around naked no nakedness you know but it's instilled in our brains that like that is Weird. That's a big no-no and all that stuff. Yeah, I kind of agree with Grace Moore. It's no big deal. I don't think so either. It's no big deal. Like, I will totally. My daughter, when she's a little girl running around the beach, like, I don't care. She can be naked. You know what? A pervert's going to be a pervert no matter if you've got clothes on or not. He's still going to be, you know, looking at you. Yeah, but you enable him. I don't know. You're not going to let him limit what I do. See, I don't want the thought of.

2:49:31Some pervert. No. You know the rest. There you go. See, in the house, I'm okay with. It's at the beach that I'm like, ah. I'm okay with it. If it's just you guys hanging out, great. Have a ball. Maybe everybody will be all nude running around my house. But when I have visitors over, you know, I would like my kids closed. Okay. I have an example. Get them used to it. Okay, when I was a nanny, I had a little boy who was four that I would watch all the time. When he was four, I took him to swim class. And what would you guys do in this situation? Because after swim class, the parents changed the kids back into their clothes. Some parents would... in front of everyone, just strip the kid out of his bathing suit, put the clothes on, you know. There's public showers right there, out in front of everyone, threw him in the shower, put the clothes on naked in front of everyone. Some parents were the weird ones that went into the stall and changed him in the stall. They're the weird ones. That's weird. You're weird because you're doing something appropriate? But everyone there is a parent with a child. But maybe the kids, at that age, the kid might already be uncomfortable with it. No, let's say the kids aren't. They were all little. Let's say they aren't. The question is, is it...

2:50:37Appropriate? Inappropriate. It's weird to go into a stall. I don't think it's weird. You know why I don't think it's a choice of the parent? Because I think it's an example of you feel how you feel about it and you decide that you're going to rub it all over everybody. Like, this is the way I feel about it and you will be subject to it no matter what. By taking it in a stall? No, you're not being subjected to it by going in a stall. You're being subjected to it if you're a parent that's kind of uncomfortable with people taking their... Kids, you know, get them naked. But why are they uncomfortable? They are parents. They're all parents there. They all have kids. They all see it every day with their kids naked. They have to bathe them. Yeah, yeah, that's true. But they all look the same at that age. What's the difference? Because what if your deal is that you want to teach your kid, listen, whenever you're naked, it needs to be something very private. What if that's what you're teaching them? Yeah, but we do teach that. People even call it your privates. You do that? Really? They don't call it your publics, so why are you taking it out of the public pool? Oh, my goodness. It ain't the publics.

2:51:37Hey, kid, don't take out your Publix. We're not 1965 at Woodstock here, dude. Exactly. By calling it a private and making, like, it does, it continues that, like, taboo, like, ooh. I don't like that. That's why people, you know, when they get, like, a dirty magazine, they're like, oh, I've never seen that. Why are we even talking about a dirty magazine when we're talking about kids being naked? That's, like, well. That's a taboo factor. But, like, why are we even getting there? But I don't like the whole, oh, Americans are so uptight because they don't, like, run around. nude and in little banana hammocks on the beach. I mean, yeah, maybe we have class. I don't know. I mean, the Europeans are weird. So being naked is considered being classless. That is amazing. Yeah, you let your kid run around on the beach. You might as well hit the General Lee, bro. Yeah, what about it? You guys. You're out of your mind. You sound gross to me because it creeps you out. Yeah, so I'll just take our clothes off. I say, it's appropriate. You're just doing, you're being appropriate. That's all. What's the matter with being appropriate? And what Andy, what do you think? Andy, you there? Hey, what's going on? Not much. You know, I think that a pervert is going to look at a kid no matter what the same way with or without clothes on. And I do think that the taboo is ridiculous. You know, my daughter was at the beach yesterday, totally naked, enjoying herself.

2:52:55And, you know, we have to rinse them off even when they have a suit on because of all this sand. You can enjoy it. Who cares what other people think? What age will you start to throw the clothes on? I'd say probably about five. Under five, I think. That's exactly what I'm thinking. Why? Yeah, why five? Why is five the magical age? That's when you go to kindergarten and that's when school starts. Kindergarten, structured school. So are you going to teach the kid now you're in kindergarten? That means now. What was acceptable to show to the world yesterday, today is the first day of kindergarten. It's no longer appropriate. No, I just think it's more about the structure of school. But at home, I think being naked until probably 10 is fine. I used to play in the sprinklers naked all the time. Until 10 years old? Wow. Jenna's nine, and I mean, she wouldn't be naked in front of, like, if we had company over, but in front of her dad and I, she runs around naked. Really? At nine? Yes. And the body's a little more, too. You're talking more about bodies when you're five, you know. Man, I just. It becomes a little inappropriate. I don't know. Don't you want to keep, if she has no problem with it and it's in front of her dad and I, like, who cares? She's an innocent little thing. The whole gist of the story, though, we've kind of gotten off track, weird. But the whole gist of the story is you shouldn't make somebody uncomfortable at your house.

2:54:17if they don't like naked kids running around. But that's when they're coming to your house. So what? So if someone's coming to your house, you shouldn't be like, I'm going to change everything I do to make this person. Why not? That's what people do when they have dinner parties, they have house parties. They try to make you comfortable, but you can't change everything about yourself just to make somebody comfortable. I mean. Kids getting naked. Weird. Weird. Maybe they just don't come. If it makes them uncomfortable, they won't come a second time. But you can't predict what's going to make somebody comfortable. I have one to throw out. What? How come we don't teach kids what they're going to, you know, like, why don't we mimic what the rest of life is going to be? What's wrong with that? You go, listen, the rest of life can't just run around getting naked. No, you can't. You teach them at a young age that it's appropriate to be wearing clothes. They're innocent little kids having fun. They like it. It feels comfortable to them. They have every, at that age, all of them look the same. They have nothing that they need to hide or feel self-conscious about. Maybe just go to Black Beach the rest of your life. Yeah, exactly. Listen, you can be naked like this. But eventually you're going to be a 45-year-old shoe salesman out on the beach naked. Oh, my gosh. And people are going to think that you're a strange dude. 45 years old, naked out on the beach. You're done. Some Lindsay Lohan song got leaked on the internet. Can't wait. Quotation marks around leaked. Yeah. Do you think she put it out there? Yeah. This is, who is this? This is Dixie Chicks without one of the Dixie Chicks. No, this is like the old school Dixie Chicks. Oh, really?

2:55:48Is this chick singing right now the one that's no longer? No longer, yeah. Fartily manes. She's not farting. 100%. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. When you promise to be the station that doesn't waste your time, every minute counts. At 10 News, every night starts with 10 minutes of nonstop news, highlighting today's major news and covering late-breaking developments in just 10 minutes. When you want news, turn to 10 News. ABC Tonight. When the dancing's done, there's one more thing America waits for. Please tell me there's been a murder. And all new ABC's Castle has one hot detective in hot pursuit of a killer with two partners chasing her. It's like sex in the city, only with boys. Wait a minute, that would make me caring. You're so metrosexual for even knowing that. But only one who will capture her heart. Morning, sunshine. All new ABC's Castle. Tonight on ABC 10.

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3:00:46After reading, after discussing, after searching, you realize that at this school you don't memorize the answers to questions, you ask them. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners for the month of May. Your participating Toyota dealership is offering buy three tires, get the fourth tire for a dollar. Visit your neighborhood Toyota dealership today. In Escondido on the 15 northbound ramp to the 78, an accident. Looks like both cars are on the right shoulder of the transition. And there's a pregnant female that got hit in that accident. Looks like they've called an ambulance just to make sure she's okay. Eight eastbound ramp to El Cajon Boulevard, an accident. Car with a blown tire spun out. They got a tow truck. Hooking them up. And the 15 northbound before El Cajon Boulevard, a six-foot, four-inch metal bar is in the number two and three lane. I wonder who ran in traffic to measure that. This report, it's brought to you by Caltrans. Speeding in highway work zones, it's deadly. That's why fines are now up to $1,000 or more. Plus, you get points on your driving record. Slow for the Cone Zone. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KB San Diego, a Lincoln fight.

3:01:59Financial media station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Get jiggy with it. Welcome back to Mikey Show. Mikey Show is myself, my boy Woodsy, Lauren O'Brien, Sienna, and Jay. Welcome back. Our phone number, if you want it, is 570-1949. If you'd like to text us. Just open up your text deal and type in 949mikey at gmail.com. Pretty easy. Your text deal. Whatever your text item, whatever your text device is. We call it, scientifically, it's the text bit. Yeah, text bit. Whatever your text bit is. Open your text bit and just do your bit. Your iPad. Mm-hmm. Lindsay Lohan's got a song that's been leaked to the internet. Has it? Mm-hmm. Has that, Lauren? And let's see what we think of it. It's called Can't Stop, Won't Stop.

3:03:03I wish she would stop. I wish too. You're judging it before you've heard it. Exactly. What if you like it? I guarantee you I won't. I already hate this beginning. That means you've made your mind up. Yes. Sounds like Tony Braxton in 1992. You guys have given it exactly four seconds. They haven't even heard anything. It's Lohan. Can't stop, won't stop. I beg you guys to have an open mind. What if? Can't stop, won't stop. I am a slut. Can't stop, won't stop. I am a slut. Did you just say that? Look at Lauren gave me a guilty leg. Sounds like a nature show. She's squeezing too many syllables there. I need the chorus. I'm not out on it. I'm not out on it. It's so 90s. Who produced that? That's like Genie in a Bottle-esque. Let me ask. If I'd played this and I didn't say it was Lindsay Lohan, would you be saying that? Yes. It's very Genie in a Bottle-esque.

3:04:35And I can't stop one step. See, I hear the autotune and I go, it sounds like 2010 to me. Who is the producer? I love Autoclown. I don't know the producer. Yeah, I like it. Please stop. Really, Mike? Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. It's going to be dead in the water. Oh, I don't think it'll get released. Something tells me it probably won't get released. She had a song before. It's not of the times. It's really outdated. I don't know. I'm not feeling that so much. It's like old school, like R&B meets pop. Really? No, I hear that autotune. I think it's for real. She started working on this in 2007, her third album. And now stuff is, I mean, I guess she's still working on it. It keeps getting pushed back. Weird. Sounds like doo-doo in my ear. She got on Twitter and said, I don't know who, but someone keeps leaking my tracks. Oh, I don't know who.

3:05:48It was sent from Lindsay Lohan at Yahoo.com. Rhymes with Vinzy Mohan. It rhymes with Vinzy Mohan. Vinzy Mohan at Yahoo.com. I don't know who this Minzy girl is. She's leaking my tracks. This is one from her from back in the day. They played this on the radio. Rumors? Yeah. See, this song I'm okay with. Really? I don't like it. Lindsay Lohan was pretty hot back in the day. Back in the days when I used to actually go out to the club. That was one of my jams. When you were wiling out in the club. Yeah, when you were wiling out. Fist pumping real good in the Jersey Shore. See, now a lot of times what will happen is that an artist will try to reinvent themselves. Or you'll hear something from an artist that you didn't know existed before. Gwen Stefani, right? Gwen Stefani. If you hear a track that Gwen Stefani has never released before, and you hear it and you go, I wonder what I...

3:06:57When I think of it in the context of today. It's Paris Hilton. You went like that? Yeah, because I thought it would be you. He held the hand up to me, like, don't say anything. Because I was sure Sienna would recognize it and say, that's actually Paris Hilton. Turns out, Lauren, two seconds in. I had no idea. Paris Hilton, Mike. I like that song. Name that tune. Lauren. Paris Hilton. I was going somewhere with that. I would have done it if I didn't see the hand. I didn't get the hand. I know, I know, I know. Who would have thought? Who would have thought? Who would know? How did you know that? Because I actually kind of like that song. Really? Yeah, they were comparing it to a Blondie song. I think I would. Yeah, the tightest high. Yeah, exactly. I would have got you, Woodsy. Turd is low. Can we still listen to it? Yeah. It's a good jam. Yeah. I'd have gotten Woodsy. I wrote a parody about.

3:08:00to this song one time about Paris Hilton's size 11 feet. Didn't know she had size 11s. Yeah, I read that somewhere. They say about girls with big feet. No, I don't. They have a hard time buying shoes. Yeah, me neither. It does kind of sound like Gwen Stefani. You were going to try to pass that off to me as Gwen Stefani. And have you go, yeah, it's not bad. Yeah, you think you're real smart. It's not bad. I was going to have you go, that's not bad. I was going to go, really? It's Paris Hilton. It does kind of sound bad. See, it's mental. It's a mental thing. It's a mental deal. We should do that. A whole bit of songs lined up. Seriously. And see if Woods knows. Let me tell you. If it sounds like that, I'm going to say it's crap. Listen. There's no guitars in it. Really? Yeah. But you can still appreciate it. Even if you're not into it, you can go, I get it. I get it. Maybe not my thing, but I get it. No. No? I mean, I do know that. You know that. Do you like Radiohead? Yes, love Radiohead. They don't have guitars in all their songs. Yeah, they do. Not all of them. Most of them. 5701949? Love Radiohead. Yes, they do. I don't like their electronic stuff that much. I like their older stuff. Never heard one song about them. Yes, you have. Creep, creep. That's it. You've heard, don't leave me high.

3:09:14Okay, I've heard two. I know that one and I know a creep. Really? I really don't know anything else. I like your mix, pal. This is what I know about them. I know that you either get them or you don't. Yeah. You're a headhead. Yeah. You're a headhead. I'm a headhead. Yeah, you go to their concerts and you wear those hats with the big heads on them. Yeah, I'm a headhead. 5701949. What is that, Jay? There's something on line one, but I don't know whether to get it. Do I get that? He's on it now. He's like, I'm on the phone here. He's got the name up, so I just wanted to know what it was. He's still figuring it out, whether or not we should put that. But it got me interested. Hey, Woods got to see his first UFC fight this weekend. What'd you think? Sure did. All right, let me tell you. I'll give you the whole thing. Yeah. Never was a big fan because I didn't really get it. I didn't really understand it. It was a whole subculture of dudes that I had known in Dallas. that were kind of in on it that they weren't really my boys or whatever so i didn't know i just didn't i didn't understand it right so mikey's been selling me on it for about four months now and telling me that i'll really like it they've cleaned it up and it's and i have a kind of weak stomach anyway watching i get the crap beat out of him is not my idea of fun well so we go over saturday night and uh we're watching these fights and i gotta say within like five minutes i was kind of in on the whole thing it was kind of sold

3:10:39It was a greatest watchman with you. It was, I mean, I had my shirt over my mouth, and I was like, oh, my God, oh, my God. You know how me, I'm a pretty animated dude. And I'm like, oh, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead. Did you do that the whole time? The whole time. Wow. L-O-B, it was hysterical. Every time a guy would get hit, Woodsy would go, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. You're dead, you're dead, you're dead. How did our local boy Joey do? Joey won. He won. Joey won. I think it was TKO in the... I don't know when it was. First or second, but he won. That's rad. The cool thing was hearing all of these backstories about some of these guys and then watching them fight and then seeing the pre-production like Mikey was talking about. Dude, I was sold. And then the final fight came around. And it was Shogun against Machida. And I guess this guy Machida had won a decision. But everybody kind of thought, eh, I think Shogun really won this fight. Well, Shogun came out and he goes, listen. I won that fight. Everybody that knows this stuff knows I won that fight. They gave it to this guy because he's this legendary dude. Well, Shogun comes out and a minute and a half in kicks the crap out of the dude. And he's like, told you, told you. And I was like, I mean, it was the coolest thing. So are you a fan now? I'm a fan. UFC fan. Yeah, I'm a fan. It was really a good fight. I would consider hosting a UFC bash at my house. I got to run it by the wife first.

3:12:05It was cool, dude. Dude, I've been telling you to get on UFC, too, man. I know you have, Frank. It's Frankie. I know you have. Yeah, Woods is my best friend, and I've been telling him forever, man. Like if we could. Yeah, play it, dude. Do it. Sienna, you see that good-looking devil over there? It's my bestie, dude. What? Yeah, what? Why did you refer to him like that? Because he's my bestie. Okay. He's my best friend. Right? Hey, best friend. Hey. It was great, right? Yeah. Tell everybody we're best friends, man. We're best pals. Thank you, dude. We are best pals. So you guys finally hung out outside of the studio? No, but... Oh, okay. No, I didn't get to watch it with him because he said he already had plans and everything. So I had a party at my house, but he wasn't there. How many people were there? One. Party for one. Besides you or just you? My mannequin there was pretty cool. Hey, Woods, dude, you don't even have to chew tobacco anymore, man. This would be a great way for you to get rid of the aggression. You just got to let some of your inner UFC out. Let your inner Rampage Jackson out, man. I think the last thing I need to do is let any rage out. Really? That's what I'm saying, dude.

3:13:22You got to get it out through the proper channels. Well, I'm not going to fight UFC. I can't. You are. No, I'm not. Yes, you are too, dude. Why not? I watched those fights. I want to get killed. You got to train. I get killed. Yeah, you got to train, dude. Me and you are going to train MMA. Mixed martial arts, yeah. Really? Yeah, I'm going to teach you. You're going to teach me? Yeah, we're going to. I didn't know you were an MMA guy. Oh, yeah, dude. He's a purple belt. I'm a purple belt, dude. For sure. Really? Yeah, man. Listen. Just because you wear a purple belt doesn't mean you are a purple belt, right? I thought if you wore a purple belt, it made you a purple belt. I thought you were a turquoise belt. Sometimes. Sometimes I'm a salmon belt. Sometimes I'm a fuchsia belt. Yeah. Magenta. Dude, why don't we spa? I don't want to spa, dude. I think he said spa. Spa. I said spa. Oh. No, yeah. I said let's go to the spa. Like S-P-A-R. Spa? Yeah, dude. Because if we do that. I get discovered, man. I don't want to be discovered. You don't want to be discovered to be UFC. No, I don't want to be a UFC fighter. What if Dana White sees us, dude? Yeah. And we get discovered or something. I got our names picked. I got it already. All right, what is it? I'm going to be Frankie the Tanky. You're going to be Woods the Goods. Wow. I love those names. Woods the Goods. I kind of like that. Yeah, like, you know, you got the goods and I got the tank top.

3:14:42That's huge. Frankie the Tanky. No, we're not fighting together. They don't do tag team there. They don't? They don't do tag team. No, there's no tag team. So we can't really be a team. We can both train, but we can't be. Yeah, just train together. Yeah, what do you think of the names Frankie the Tanky and Woods the Goods? I love it. I think it's a great idea. If I was ever inclined to be a fighter, I would probably go with Woods the Goods or something like that. Okay, here, check this out, man. I brought this onesie for you. For you to wear. Oh, great. And I got a couple of moves I want to show you. I know it's turquoise and it has sequins in there, so don't cut yourself. Why don't we try just one time, dude? Okay. We try to spot. Yes. I picked up some moves the other night watching it. I got some good stuff, so I'm going to... Let's see what I've done. I'll go easy on you. Spar, spar, spar. I'm going to go easy on you. Go easy, dude. I'm going to go easy on you. What is jumping? Ow, dude. Owie, dude. Owie? That's you. He hit my arm. Let's get the goods. You know that. That's what's going to happen. Do it again, but don't hurt me, man. Wait, wait.

3:15:56Hold on, you're freaking me out. I'm not even in my stance yet. Frankie, you're the one that's trying to get him to spar with you. I gotta get in my stance, man. Man up. Hang on, hang on. How long does it take? I'm adjusting my jock strap. All right. Okay. Ew. You have your jock strap on? Yes. You sure? Yes. Stop stalling, Frankie. You know that. Do you? Yes. Are you sure? Yes. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. I'm not going to hurt you. All right. Let's go. Come on. You hurt me so bad. I just kicked him right in the leg. Oh, my God. How are you going to be UFC if you can't even spar in the studio? I just look like Machida. Wow. Are you crying? I love Frankie crying. Are you seriously crying right now? That's going to look real tough. Dana White's really going to love that. What happened to Frankie the tanky? Now he needs Frankie the tanky. I have a Midol. Do you want a Midol? I think I might have a maxi pad in my bag. That ain't necessary, man. Do you want to use it as a band-aid? Frankie needs a hanky. If you have a maxi pad in your purse, you need to talk. Yeah, Frankie needs a hanky.

3:17:27They're not going to be Frankie to Hanky, man. Frankie got spankied. Yeah, Frankie got spankied by Woods and Goods. Frankie didn't get spankied. Give me the Midol. Frankie, you tankied. Yeah, you did. There you go. A little stickies for you. For some reason, I don't... There's none in here. Oh, sorry. It's an empty bottle of Midol. I think you used it all last time. Maybe Mikey has, like, some baby Motrin or something. Yeah, I'm sure I do. I've got teething tablets. Yeah, seriously. Give me anything, man. What's happening? You want some kombucha? No, man. I don't need to do it. I need to take something to make you feel better. Here, let's put some Windex on it. Seriously. You've got to toughen up a little bit, Frank. I don't think Dana White would really like that. kind of crying and jumping around. How do you know what Dana would like, man? Well, because I know, dude. Well, you're too aggressive when we spar. I thought I was supposed to be. Yeah, Frankie, you're supposed to hit. I don't want to take any hits. I'd rather hit than be hit. Listen, man. You let me lead. Don't just go all willy-nilly. We're not waltzing, dude.

3:18:49It is a dance, bro. That's what you've got to learn. The whole thing is a delicate balancing act. Let's do it again. One more time. This time, let's start Greco-Roman style. Okay. That means you've got to get down on all fours, bro. Oh, my goodness. In a way that he should not have done right in front of free and break no one to do with himself. He's standing there with his mouth wide open. Wow, do it again. Wow. Butt in the air. Take it easy, Frankie. Wow. Get all fired up. Spa. Gotta quit spa. Frankie, I kiddie band-aids in the hall. Is it sad that I'm out of breath? You didn't do anything? You should not cry. I threw like two punches. I'm out of breath. I love it. I love you too.

3:19:45570-1949. Fatty McGee. Holy cow. Hey, you guys want to do a little Sienna Sings? You know that. Let's do a little Sienna Sings. This is how this works, all right? Here's how it works. We're going to play a little song for Sienna. We're going to play a song for Sienna. The object here is... that Sienna doesn't know a lot of songs that came out before, like, 90s, right? Before 2009. I was born in 85, right? And so there's a lot of songs, especially, like, metal.

3:20:52Oh, yeah. No metal. Yeah. No metal. What do you guys mean? I'm good. Every once in a while, you surprise us. Yeah. Every once in a while, I'm kind of surprised. I think there's no way. She'll never know this song. She has access to Todd's music, too. So sometimes she'll know that stuff. Todd's 55, so he was actually born. He's 38. All right. So, Sienna, we move Sienna over to this microphone. We put her on a different microphone. She's got a computer in front of her kind of deal. And the computer shows us on the screen. It will give her. like a karaoke deal, and it'll show her where to sing along, and then we're going to decide whether or not she'll know it. Let's do this. How do you guys feel about Smells Like Teen Spirit? Will she know Smells Like Teen Spirit? Absolutely. I think she will because it's one of the most iconic songs ever. You ready, Sienna? She's gearing up. You can see her. She's gearing up. Load up on guns. Bring your friends. It's fun to lose and to pretend. She's overboard and self-assured. Oh, no, I know. Dirty word. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Lots of hellos right here. You got it, Sierra. Nailed it. Well done. That one?

3:22:31It's hard to not know. Yeah. Right? For sure. Rocky like a hurricane, Scorpions. Zero percent. No way. No way. Did you say Scorpions, Mark? It was my favorite band. Don't you love them? I love the Scorpions. Here I am. You're in here swinging with a little... Came in swinging in the room on a rope. Anytime I hear the Scorpions, it makes me so happy. Yeah, you can tell. You're a happy guy. I love Scorpions. No one says she can get it. No way. Thanks, guys. Nope, out. Thanks, guys. Here we go. It's early morning. The sun comes out. Last night was shaking and pretty loud. My cat is purring. It scratches my skin. So what is wrong with another sin? That bee is hungry. She needs to tell. So give her inches and we'll feed her. Well, to come new places to go. I've got to leave. It's time for a show. Wow. You like a hurricane. You like a hurricane. Sorry. It says.

3:23:56Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane. That's very good. We should rename you Klaus. Klaus Ryan. Very good. That was kind of close. That is hysterical to me because it's completely redoing the song. Here I am. Here I am. It's a new pop song. I give you an American Idol and mix it up. Mix it up. AC, DC, TNT. Zero percent. No way. Have a little faith, people. I barely know. I know that song, but I only recently learned it. Now that's changing my mind. Have a little faith. Lauren knows it. There's a chance. There's a chance. Nope. No way. Not going to know it. You guys. You ready? Say no for everyone. I say yes. She's gearing up. I got one right. You got one. I say no way. No way. It's not an obscure ACDC song, but it's going to be obscure to her. Yeah. All right. Let's try it. Oy. Oy. See me right out of the sunset on your color TV screen. Out for all that I can't get. If you know what I mean. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Will do.

3:25:23And women to the ride. Thank you. That'll do. Wow. That was really awkward. It's saying oy a million times. Oy. Oy. Oy. Oy. Oy. Oy. Oy. Oy. Oy. Oy. That's fantastic. Oh, my gosh. I love it. That was on some, like, bounty hunter. Not the bounty hunter, but some TV show, and that was the theme song. That's the only reason I know it. That's fantastic. You were watching a bounty hunting show? Yeah. On Hulu or something. Apparently, I missed that one. Netflix. I would have known that. This is pretty good. This was from Jay's recap email. He said that they, him and his family, for Mother's Day yesterday, they all went down to Swami's. The whole family. Now, tell us the name of the kids and the ages of the kids. Okay, Maddie's 21, Liberty's 19, Finn is 18, and Jasper is 7. There you go. So... They go down there and Maddie gets fish tacos for breakfast, which I love. Wow. Finn got a turkey burger for breakfast, which I love. So Jay's kids. Oh, I love it that they're getting that for breakfast. Kim and Jasper and Jay got the large acai bowl. Weird. That's all you had? Acai. It's as big as your head. What is it? I'd need like some bread or something. Is it berries? Let me read you exactly how he got it.

3:26:47The acai bowl with bee pollen, coconut, banana, strawberry, blackberries, and raspberries. Weird. Extra granola. I left that off there. Ooh, granola is the best part. His daughter, Liberty, was the only one that got anything normal. She got scrambled eggs. Yeah, good for Liberty. Mm-hmm. Man. And they got home, and they played board games and went to dinner at a friend's house. Now, I'm reading that. I'm like, first of all, hats off to Jay. Yeah. I mean, how awesome of a dad is that? Yeah, he's great. And it's one of those deals where. I got to figure out how to do that stuff. You know, when when I was growing up, we didn't do we didn't do the family trips. We didn't do the beach. We didn't do the camping. We didn't do that stuff. And so now as a dad, that stuff is so unnatural to me. And I struggle with being a bad dad. I struggle with it. And I'm trying to get into that groove of like doing that stuff. But if you're not a dad that's accustomed to it, it's tough. It's important. I got to do it. You know, I got to do that stuff. These things are things. Is there a book? Is there a book? Like, is there a book on that kind of stuff? Jay's journal. Jay's journal. I can tell you what to do. You have a couple of kids like you. You've got Jake and you got Luke and Ryan. They're a couple of years apart. You have kind of the same deal. So was it always that way? Was it always you and Kim and grabbing all the kids and going to dinner? Or did. Here's the key.

3:28:17Do everything together. That's it, period. I love that. It's a good idea. Yeah, you don't go anywhere without it. I mean, you know, you're going to do some things, like obviously you're going to go to dinner once in a while, but if you go on a vacation, do it together. If you're going to go to the beach, do it together. You know, if you're going to go to the store, hey, let's all go to the grocery store together. I know it sounds like a drag. Oh, that would be a nightmare. It sounds like a drag, but once you're there, it's fun. It's probably just changing your perception, Mike, of instead of thinking, I guess instead of thinking, because, dude, I look at what he's got, you know, with the twins and everything, and I'm like, man, they got their hands full, right? You got to load up all the car seats. You got to take them out. You got to put them in strollers. But I think if you change your perception of I have to do this, I think it's more of changing your perception into I get to do this with my family. I like that. It's work. I wish that there was a book. You don't need a book. I'm sure there is. I'm that kind of guy. I'm a book guy. If it's more than eight pages, you're not going to read it anyway. Do it on tape. I'll read the first eight. Listen to it on the way to work. If it exists. I'm sure it does. It's got to, right? M1s. Is there a book on how to be a good dad? The family that, of course, stays together. 570-1949. You can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. One Republic, come home. How about this? This is a great song. I'm obsessed with it. It's good already.

3:29:44Want to hear how a Jolly Rancher got a third grader in detention for a week? Me too. That'll be my child. Mm-hmm. Do Would You Rather? You can call in for that. 570-1949. We'll be next. Pop it in. Turn it on. Call now. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is a special announcement to all U.S. citizens currently struggling with medical bills and credit card debt. Laws approved by the United States Congress now may eliminate 100% of your medical bills and credit card debt entirely. With our economy nearing the end of a major crisis and now showing signs of recovery, we understand all across the country millions of hardworking Americans did not see this recession coming and are stuck with debts that have grown over the years. Millions are now upside down in their homes facing foreclosure, while others have lost their jobs.

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3:34:32Brings back some real good memories. It's good, right? Oh, yeah. It's nine o'clock. So, Sienna, why did a third grader get detention for a week because of a Jolly Rancher? This is nuts. Because his last name is Woods. Is that it? Is that it? No, there's a rule. The school principal and the superintendent said that they were simply complying with a state law that limits junk food in schools. Apparently, that's the rule in Texas. Woods, maybe you know about that. What part? This is at Brazos Elementary. Hmm. And all it was was this third grader had a Jolly Rancher at lunch, like one of the little tiny ones. When she was done eating her lunch, the teacher came up to her and took it away and then said, you have detention for the whole week. You're not allowed to have candy at school. You're kidding me. The mom was like, okay, this is a huge overreaction. You know, I pack her lunch. It's a tiny candy. Is that the rule? Yeah. The rule says that, what's the rule say? The state law limits junk food in schools. It limits, limits junk food in school. Yeah, I just want to know what the rule is. Yeah, all it says here is... Sorry, Woodsy. Hey, listen, if the rule says you get a week's detention for... If it says you get a week's detention for candy, don't take candy. And if my kid took candy and knew the rule, I would say, sorry, buddy, you got a week's detention. It's like you couldn't wear shirts with writing on them, and I used to wear one that had, like, the smallest little word, and it was, like, in gym class. Oh, still writing.

3:35:57How about you let me raise my own kid? How about we're allowed to have rules? Not over my kid, you're not. Really? Well, then how come there's rules already at school? Those are on your kid. But what they eat and whatever else they do should be up to me. That's a good point. I agree. I agree. I agree with him on that. But it's not that way. That's not the rule. And if you go, I don't like that, well, then you have the right to petition a rule, challenge a rule, blah, blah, blah. She's third grade and I guess she came home crying and was like, Mom, I got detention for the whole week. I had to show her the note. Here's the thing. To me, that sounds like a overreaction rule. The rule itself. If, in fact, that's the rule, I would say it seems like an inappropriate rule. Yeah, because it says it limits the junk food. Limits it. It's very subjective. And if the rule is that if you have candy, you get a week of detention, I think that's inappropriately long. It shouldn't be that. It should be. I don't know. Let's say you were saying that you couldn't have candy at school. I would say one day. I'd say a day for every piece of candy. 45 minutes of detention after school will do fine. Detention seems...

3:37:09Ridiculous for a third grader. Exactly. Third grade is a little young. High school, maybe detention. Maybe have to write a paper on why you think candy shouldn't be allowed or something. Yeah, the right lines. Right lines. Oh, I hated that bit. Remember that? Oh, yeah. I did do it all the time. But it might make you think about, okay, why was this? Why do they not want me to have candy in school or something like that? But a detention is just so much punitive. It's like bad kids go to detention. I know. The hood's like the bullet. How about just a simple note to the parent? Hey, look, we've got a rule here. We don't want you to do this. That's a good call. Really? Yeah, it was a first-time thing. Right. Mom said she was so surprised. M1 Kyle, are you there? Yeah. What were you calling to say? My wife works at the high school, and that rule limits how much junk food they sell at school. Right. They took all the candy vending machines out of school. They don't sell junk at lunch anymore, but you could take candy all you want. Yeah, I think that when Sienna said the law, to me it was thinking like, okay, this is coming down from like... you know, from an obesity standpoint and making the schools be responsible for what they serve.

3:38:13Do you want to hear directly from the Texas Department of Agriculture's website? Yes. It says the Texas public school nutrition policy explicitly states that it does not restrict what foods or beverages parents may provide for their own children's consumption. Yeah, then it was a whack job teacher. Yeah. But the principal, everyone got behind it. Even the superintendent said, you know, whether or not I agree with the guidelines, we have to follow the rules. Maybe the kid comes in and drops the hammer on you real good. Third grader. Yeah. Maybe thinking the teacher's a lunatic is a little far. Do you think that's going a little far? No. Not at all. What's he? Keep your eyes on your own paper. It's a little Jolly Rancher. It's a Jolly Rancher. It's not like she's feasting on an ice cream bar. Triple Reese's or something. It's true. Like the kid. Kid likes himself a king size. Anything. Whatever. Kit Kat. Supersize it. I can't stop. Three Musketeers. I can't stop. If you had my deal, Woodsy, there's so few candies that I'm like, oh, that's just delicious. I don't think Kit Kats are great. Here's the deal, though, dude. I can't stop eating sweets. I eat a meal, and I'm like, perfect example. I can't stop eating. We were at, they're probably listening. Doogie's. Yeah, we were at Doogie's, and I'm like, we finished the best pulled pork sandwiches you've ever had. Of course, I had two. It was so funny. Can I just say that? Yeah, say it. Woodsy has one.

3:39:39It was a 15-minute debate with himself out loud whether he should get another one. It was so good. For 15 minutes, I heard him go, think about getting another one? Yeah. And he did that 15 minutes. Finally, he goes, all right, all right. I'm going to go get another one. I mean, but when you finish your meal and there's dessert, it's like, oh, the best thing. There was no dessert? No dessert. I kept walking in. I walked in. How many times did I walk in? Six? Yeah. And I'm waiting. I'm like. Somebody's going to put a cake out or something. You know what happens is the reason that it wasn't is because Brock always goes there with those cupcakes. I almost searched the place for Brock and the cupcakes. Yeah, the red velvet cupcakes. Where's Brock at? Where's Brock? Where's Brock? The velvet cupcakes. I was walking in. I was like, there's got to be a cookie tray or brown cupcakes. We got home. Ask Jamie. And we got home. And I was like, I'm going to have a piece of cheesecake. Yes, I did. You guys just have cheesecake at home? Yeah. There is a deal with. People with sweet tooths. It's the worst. If you got a sweet tooth. Me, Kit Kat Bar, whatever. Everywhere, every time I stop. Anywhere, I have to get something. Sounds like a little bit of a chemical reaction that's going on when you get the sugar in you. I love them so much. I love sweets. Same thing happens with LB and barley. Pies. She didn't have barley in her system. She's got to get it. Oh, wow. I'm the same as Woods. M1 Robbie. Robbie, you there? Yeah, what's up? You're a teacher, right?

3:41:05Yeah, I'm a teacher. What's the deal? Well, so, Mikey, I agree with you that if it, you know, it's a rule, it's a rule. But the rule is absurd. And the only reason the rule is there is because we have obese children in America. And it's ridiculous how many obese people we have. I agree. And on top of that, our school lunches are... They're filthy. Filthy. Always have been. They always have been. Right. And so they think, oh, here's a great idea. Let's put it... Let's put that responsibility on the teachers because, gee, they spend so much time with the students that it should be their responsibility that the children are obese. So, you know, they put that new law out that, you know, there's, you know, limits the, you know, the sweets and the candy and all that. Well, it's all because of, you know, one bad apple. And I think that's ridiculous that that, you know, especially a third grader, a whole week of detention. Yeah, that's that's that's a lot. And it's excessive and it's dumb. It's absurd. I would. I would, as an administrator, I would have, you like, reprimanded that teacher for that. That's just ridiculous. Hey, thanks for the call, bro. I appreciate it, Robbie. You bet. We'll see you. We're going to do Would You Rather next. Are we? I'll even give you one right now. You can call in about it. And all of us here on the show can think about it until we get back. After a 10-mile run, would you rather drink a half gallon of hot coffee? Or drink a quart of...

3:42:36Cream. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. We are the members of Navy Federal. Some of us come from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and the Department of Defense. Some of us have families who do. As we serve our country, we also buy cars, finance homes, educate our children, and plan for retirement. During it all, Navy Federal is there. For over 75 years, they've been there. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. Navyfederal.org, Equal Housing Lender. Wow, what's that? A new car? Yeah, I just got it. What kind of car is it? It's a Volkswagen Eos hardtop convertible. Wow, that's a Volkswagen? Where'd you get it? I got it at Classic VW in Escondido. It was so worth shopping at Classic.

3:43:43I went online and looked for a Better Business Bureau accredited VW dealer and found that Classic Volkswagen is the only VW dealer in San Diego County with an A+. That's A plus rating by the Better Business Bureau. Why would I go anywhere else? I was going to get a Jetta. And then I looked at the new Beetle convertible. But you know us girls. We have the right to change our minds. So when the super friendly Classic salesperson showed me the Eos, I was all done. Classic VW in Escondido. Did you get a good deal? Huh, I got the best deal ever. My parents got it for me. Maybe your parents aren't getting you a Volkswagen, but you will still be able to get a great deal for yourself on any new or certified pre-loved Volkswagen at Classic VW in the Escondido Auto Park or on the web at ClassicVW.com. Ratings as of 4-28-10. The water today. Size machine. Challenge yourself to join 24-hour fitness. Stretch for fit. Take the stairs at least once. And we'll challenge you to find simple ways to move closer to your goal. Put the treadmill on incline. Five more minutes on the elliptical machine. With state-of-the-art equipment, more than 400 clubs nationwide, and the support of more than 3,000 certified personal trainers, there's always an everyday challenge to set your sights on at 24-hour fitness. Take a group exercise. Try jumping rope. So take your first challenge today. Try 24-hour fitness free for seven days. Visit a club near you or download your free seven-day pass at 24hourfitness.com.

3:45:11To give yourself even more motivation, watch us help contestants on NBC's The Biggest Loser on Tuesdays at 8, 7 Central. They challenge themselves every day, and so can you. Facilities and amenities vary by location. Not all clubs open 24 hours a day. Personal training available for an additional fee. Restrictions apply. Suffering from high interest rates on your credit cards? Barely able to make the minimum payments on your debts? Our team of lawyers here at the Bankruptcy Law Center can help. Call 1-800-718-9688. Or go to our website at GetOutOfDebtSanDiego.com. You can file for bankruptcy and still keep your home and your cars. A bankruptcy can wipe out your second mortgage and bring you current if you're behind on your house payments. Most people think bankruptcy... But many individuals actually have better credit after they file.

3:45:56The banks just received a $1.5 trillion taxpayer bailout. Here at the Bankruptcy Law Center, our team of lawyers can show you how to get your own bailout, giving you a fresh start and making you debt-free. Call 1-800-718-9688 today. Don't live the rest of your life buried in debt. Call to see if you qualify. Call 1-800-718-9688 today. Or go to our website, getoutofdeutsandiego.com. That's 1-800-718-9688. This is a legal advertisement. Brian Taylor is responsible for this ad. Nothing in this ad should be construed as legal advice. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I want to be a movie director more than anything else. Sienna. Only time all eats spinach is if it's in artichoke dip. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. On FM 94.9. What it is, I'm... Carolina Liar. Carolina Liar? That's a band. I'm finding it hard to resist. So show me what I'm...

3:47:33Oh, that's who sings this? I've heard this before. I didn't know that was a band called Carolina Liar. I like that. That was one of the songs I knew you would like. I'm going to post this little list up. Mikey Showpage, Facebook. Yeah, good picks today, Sienna. Thanks. I like that song. Now I know that it's somebody called Carolina Liar. Liar. It's very hot AC. It is. It is. Let's see. Really? What did you say? Hot AC. What's that? It's like a type of music that's played. Adult contemporary. Yeah. Yep. Stands for adult contemporary. Michael Shannon bit. Oh. I heard a song this weekend and on the Sirius radio it told me what it was. It's by a band called Breaking Benjamin. Oh, yeah. And the song was called Give Me a Sign. Heard it for the first time I was in. Like Daughtry. Sounds like Daughtry, Creed.

3:48:49Nickelback. You hear that melody, though? Yeah. This is my deal. I'm pure melody guy. If there's a melody that goes da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee, da-dee. What about Chino and the Tones? They don't have that. Oh, dude, they got great melodies. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. I've never just gotten what melody is. Melody is this. This is a melody. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And it's a melody. It just gets caught in your head, and it's this thing that you repeat. It's a repetitive... Yeah, in most popular songs, it's what the words are doing. It's what the lyrics are doing. The melody in Umbrella is... Isn't that the chorus? Yes. It is the chorus, but it's also called a melody. That's the melody. If a song doesn't have a repetitive sing-song thing. For instance. Okay, I can tell you a Deftone song that doesn't have any melody. What? The song that they won a Grammy for called Elite. It's this. This has no melody in it. That's not the melody. Yeah, that is the melody, though.

3:50:15Musically, there is the do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. And if you can get that melody in your head, okay, cool. It's hard to sing along with, though. Yeah. But this song, by Breaking Benjamin, first time I heard it. I love the melody. And I was doing this in my head for hours after. If you were to... It's the chorus. It's the memorable part of the song. Well, it's what you would... If someone would say, how does that song go? It's how you would hum it to them. You know? That's a... Perfect description of a melody. STP, that's what they're about. Oh, yeah. Their bread and butter is killer melodies. That's their bread and butter. Whatever. Got great melodies. M1, Funky Cole Medina is on the line. Finally. Hey, Mikey. How you doing? Good, good. How are you? Breaking Benjamin's album, they were talking about the first album. You should really listen to that one because there's a lot of songs I think you would like on that. Oh, yeah, dude.

3:51:32It's way better than the one down. Right on. I like that song, though, I just played. Yeah, it's nice, but, you know... It's nice, but it ain't no first album is what you're saying. Yeah, and no artist is ever as good as the first album, you know? Hey, dude, since I have you on the phone... Yeah. If you just ran 10 miles and you had to drink a half gallon of hot coffee or a quart of cream, which would you pick? First of all, if I could run 10 miles and still be breathing... Mm-hmm. I don't really like coffee. I don't like cream, so... You gotta drink one. I guess the cream, because it'll be cool, right? It'll be fresh. It'll be fresh, cold cream? It would. See, what you're basically having to weigh in your mind is, am I going to throw up, or am I going to get burned? I think that's what you're weighing. Because if you drink cream... I think I'd feast on the cream. You would feast on the cream? Yeah, I think it'd be delicious. I love heavy cream. It's probably going to settle in your stomach in about three seconds. Curdle. That's the worst word in the English language. Curdle. It is. Curdle. Almost as bad as moist. Moist curdle. If it's too moist, it'll curdle. I'm going with the cream. Sienna? I think I'm going to go coffee. How long do you have to take to drink it? You can't drink a half gallon. You can't chug it. Hot coffee after 10 miles. Give me the cold cream, dude. Let it splash all over my face. I'm going to bathe in it.

3:53:04Feast on some cream. That just seems so thick. Yeah. Winder. Winder. Yeah. What would you pick? What up, guys? What would you pick? Well, I didn't hear what you guys said. I've been on hold. Oh, oh. I thought you were calling about this. No, I got something else I was wanting to talk to you guys about. What is it? A couple things. I got two two-sums. I won two two-sums for the golf this week. Sweet. And I can only use one. So the other one, I was going to say you guys could take it and donate it. Like if someone wants to play. Oh, absolutely. Like a prize, maybe. Give it out. Oh, yeah. Use it as a prize. Absolutely. We should use it as a prize. That's a great idea, Winder, and I appreciate it. Thanks, brother. And then the other thing is your boy Woods was slaying giants early Saturday morning. Slaying giants. I heard he dove off one of them real quick. I did. What does that mean you were slaying giants? Surfing. Oh, the surfing. Tell them about the one, Johnny. Dude, I catch a wave all the way inside, and I turn around, and I just see this guy taking off on the set of the day overhead, and he's dropping in with this look on his face like terror.

3:54:13But excitement, like, what do I do? And he made it, like, halfway down, and he had it, and then he just bailed. But it was pretty awesome. Overhead? Wow. Oh, yeah. It was pretty good. Really? He was out. He paddled out to the lineup? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was outside for all morning. Wow. Look at Woodsy, dude. Nice. I love it. Thanks, Winder. It's the greatest. All right, guys. Have a good day. Good job. It's the greatest thing being out there. Dude. The greatest. I'm telling you. I like the idea of it. I love the idea of it. Cubby, you stood up, dude. Right off the bat, like your third try. Don't quit. You don't realize how many people cannot do that, Mike. I was terrified the second time we went. I know, you did not like the second time. Well, you didn't do the ideal condition. Dude, I'm telling you, when it was all glassy out there, all I could think of was what was down in that inky black water. Inky. Come on. What was lurking beneath? We're going to go, we'll go sponging, me and you. I'll go with you. So I can look like a big enchilada. It's like, don't think about what's going on in the kitchen in your favorite restaurant. Yeah, fair enough, bro. It's a great point. Yeah, but I'm not a part of what's in the kitchen. Don't think about what's on the plane. Don't think about the meth head that put that plane together, dude. That you're flying and driving on the freeway with all the drugs. I will now forever get on an airplane and think to myself, some meth head put this plane together. Woodsy put it in my head. And as I hear...

3:55:44The engine's winding up. I'm going to go, a meth head put that thing together. They're putting the little door up on the suitcases and you hear... Yeah. I'm like, did a meth head just do that? Did a meth head just put that thing together? Yeah. That's the dinner bell ringing for me. It's feast time. That's me out in the ocean just trying to have a little chubby nice day out there. Just out there. Oh, look out, Mike. We got you by the leg, buddy. I always think if... Somebody comes with me, I'll be okay. Like, I had Danny and Winder there with me. I was like, I'll be fine. I can mute me. Your odds are better. Oh, of course. And I saw a seal swim by, which almost scared me to death. Five feet from me, ten feet from me. Yeah, to scream like a girl. Wait till you see dolphins. That's really cool. Danny saw them that day and was like, there's black fins out there. Yeah, great. It's dolphins. It's an orca. We saw dolphins by the surf yesterday. If there's a shark coming, trust me, you won't see a warning. Just be. Oh, great. Wonderful. That makes it so much better. Gotta get cubs out there again. We had such a good time. Remember you were diving into waves. You're like, this is the greatest day. These hands are meant for gardening. I know that's right. Got any habaneros? They're meant for eating habaneros, Mike. You know that. Rolling tamales. That's right. Let's see. How about this one? Would you rather come home to find that a prankster nailed all your windows shut? Prankster? Yeah, see? What? Or taking the labels off all your canned goods? Oh, God.

3:57:14Oh, canned goods. Canned goods. Would be horrible. No, you can always open them up. Oh, yeah, but you spoil all the... Oh, I didn't want beans. I wanted peaches. Exactly. You know what you do? You throw it away. No, no way. Put it in a little Tupperware, stick it in the fridge. Yeah, there you go. No, I'd rather go around and take all the nails out. No way. That's a beating. So you eat goods. Really? How many cans do you have in your house anyway? Doesn't everybody have 900 from like 1999? Don't you have corn niblets from 1999? No, because I feast on those real good. They don't last long in my house. Really? Yeah, I love corn niblets. You don't have stuff? Write that down. What's the stuff that you have that you're like, man, it's been there forever? Nothing. You don't have like a stick of butter you've had for 10 years? No. He just moved. When you move, you get rid of everything. When we were at our old house, we had, Jamie's mom had literally a can of tab. Whoa. Tab. Like the soda? The soda. Tab. 20 years ago. RC. You ever have the thing where you're like, I don't think I have ketchup. I better buy a new one. Oh, all the time. And then you have four ketchups. I have 15 bottles of ranch. We have that. It's the worst. You can never have too much ranch. Fair enough. That is true. Hi, Hillary. Hillary's here. Hi, Hill. We had that with Tabasco. We just had this discussion at our house this weekend. We have like five things of Tabasco. Yeah, because what happens is you go to the store and you're like, I don't think we have Tabasco.

3:58:34And it's so cheap. We better get it. Like, whatever, we'll just get one. We'll just get one. You'll use it. Yeah, we have a lot. You get home and you're like, oh, hi, Tabasco school. Here's another student. Meet Tabasco number nine. Give it to your kids to play with. They have 15 Tabascos. That's right. What do you got coming up today, Hillary? Oh, I grabbed the shins and the wigs and the colt and some other the bands. Yeah. And talking heads, but also the new band of horses. So good. Laredo. Laredo? Yes. It's so good. I'm trying to learn it. Excuse my coffee breath, L.O.B. I always share a mic with L.O.B., and I'm always like, sorry. Sorry. It's okay. Her smells like vinegar. Here's who's in the room right now. Myself, Sienna, Woods, Jay, or excuse me, Woods, L.O.B., and Hillary. And I'm going to include you, Jay, but do you drink coffee? All day. Okay. So we'll all be included in it. Sienna, you have to go back to the days before you were pregnant. You could drink whatever coffee you wanted, okay? Out of all of us, who's got the most complicated coffee order? You. No question. No question, me? No question. Let's go and find out. Are we talking just regular coffee? Yeah, absolutely. When you go to Starbucks, what do you order? What's your order? Mine, it's a venti half-calf. Half-caffeinated, half-decaf. Go on. Three Splendas and...

3:59:59Half and half. It's called a venti half clown. Do you put the splinters in yourself? Yep. They do it. I do it. Well, I either get a coffee or I get a nonfat skinny vanilla latte. That's not that bad. That's not a complicated order. It's easier now that they have the phrase skinny. Grande caramel macchiato. No, I said woodsy. Yeah, grande caramel macchiato. Really? Yeah, I'm a giant queen. You know that. Write that down. Oh, my. Those are really good. I know they are. They're so good. Especially after you've been shopping all day and you're just like, do you want something cold? I don't even know. Oh, a child. There's so many good ones. Oh, my gosh. Yep. Grande. I told you this story, didn't I? I bought Jimmy shoes. I bought Jimmy shoes all weekend long. I was so tired. Do you not know this story? I worked really quickly. I worked at Banana Republic and I'd never been to Starbucks before, ever. And the manager that I worked with was a... Gay man. And he's like, let's go get a coffee. I'm like, let's do it. We went down there. And I'd never been in a Starbucks. Okay, this is years and years ago. And I'm like, I'm going to vomit. I'm like, I don't know what to order. He goes, I'll take a grande caramel macchina. I'm like, I'll have the same. Never had anything since. Ever, ever, ever. It's all you've ever had. It's all I've ever had. What's your drink, LB? Oh, my gosh. Well, usually just like a grande, either a cafe americano or a half-caf. That's it? And then I put the cream in myself.

4:01:23With cream. No soy. Any sweetener? Any soy? No soy. No sugar. Nothing. Weird. Very basic. I don't like soy. Hillary? I usually get a grande nonfat latte. That's not complicated. No. Jay? Jay? I like my coffee black. Like you like your women. Like you like your women. Very nice. It's like the easiest order. I had the most complicated order. Weird. Weird. Weird. How's your organizer for your kitchen? It's really great, dude. It's really, it's coming along wonderfully. Hired an organizer. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next with a very, very easy coffee order. She's got an easy coffee order. Tell me again. A grande nonfat latte. It's easy. You don't put no sweeteners? I'll put a little. I'll put one splendid. Give me that. Oh, sorry. All right. All right. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. Mikey shows up late. Financial media station. Mikey in the morning. About the music all day and night. FM 94.9. It's about the music.