The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/14/10

0:00The new home of the Mikey Show. FM 94.9. I will say right away because I know that everybody wants to know who won the bet. We will tell you who won the bet this morning at 7.30 promptly. Is that right? That's right. We'll tell you who won at 7.30 this morning because somebody's going to be paying off a bet between Woodsy and Jay. The women don't even know. The women on the show. Nope. Do not know. I didn't tell anybody. In fact, I saw it all over Facebook on the Mikey Show fan page last night. Who won the bet between Woodsy and Jay? And they'll find out this morning. The best was the private messages that I got. Did you? Hey, Woodsy, listen. Listen, you can tell me. I swear I won't tell anybody. I won't tell anyone. I'm like, can't do it, pal. Yeah. Sorry. Had people coming over last night for growth group going, so what's the deal?

2:54That you wouldn't tell him? No. You got to wait. Tight lip. Tight lip. Yeah. Loose lips sink ships. That's right. So we'll find out this morning at 730. Either Woodsy will be eating Indian food or Jay will be eating veal after not eating any beef or meat for 22 years. So we'll find out. And we got a lot to talk about. So call right now, 570-1949. You can comment on any of the stories that we're going to be telling you about. Or you can call in with anything that you have that you want to talk about. Open phones at the beginning and end of every show. There are five people on the Mikey Show. Myself, I'm the host of the program. Very tan slash red today. I guess. You're not red. I'm not red? A little bit. I know Jay used some SPF that didn't really work. He said that his SPF, his sunblock was old. It was old and it was sitting in my bag. I thought, okay, this will be fine. I got home and my neck was bright red. You forget about the neck.

4:13Oh, no, I did it. It just, you know, it must not have been any good. It expired? Yeah, it expired. He had it in his backpack for, like, over a year. He was just sitting there, and he's like, oh, this will be good. What's the shelf life? What's the shelf life? I don't know. Did I get any color? Yeah. Did I? I feel like it. Yeah, you did. Woodsy is fun, man. He's fun. Him and Jay and my friend Chris that went, they're good. Good gosh. Chris is a lunatic. He's a hoot. A hoot. He's a crazy man. I liked all those golf tricks out there. Son of a bitch. He stood behind us. We're all up there going to putt. And Woods is all bent over, you know, getting his putt. He's really focused. And all of a sudden, from behind him, you hear this flag. He just whips a flag across. It sounds like an eagle going to fly in and rip you apart. The flag came. I could feel it, the wind on my neck. At a bit, you get it? At a bit. You know the flag that you stick in the hole? He's waiting behind Woods as Woods is ready to putt. He's got the line like this. Woods goes to putt and he goes. Swings it like a baseball bat. And the flag on there just goes. I almost pooped my pants. I was watching. I scared me. Scared me to death. You've met your match. Seriously, I have met my match. He is my match. And then he was going to putt again later on. Woods, he's going to putt. And right before. A drive. A drive. Yeah. I'm on the team. He's going to drive. And right before. As he comes up.

5:38And he's coming down with the golf club. CB takes a golf ball and rolls it right underneath his legs. Yeah. Threw my legs behind me. What'd you do? I hit the ball that was rolling. Not the one on the tee. That's a one in a billion chance. I laughed so hard. I hit the green. You know what else he did? Face first. You know how you strapped the bag into the car? This was not as funny. Yeah, of course. Took the strap off so that when you hit go on the card, the bag falls out. But he did it to Jay's bag. So we go to pull away and Jay's bag just goes, bam! And all his clubs hit the concrete. So you know what CB told me? He goes, I actually did that at an event that we were having when he was at APU. And he said that it was like the chancellor of the whole deal. and Chris thought it would be funny to undo his bag. And he said, it's a pretty harmless bit. Not really. He said the time that he did it, the head of the deal, the driver, he said it went and popped right off. And he didn't learn his lesson? He did it on the concrete. Now, if you do it in the middle of the fairway, and still you don't want your clubs falling and landing on each other, if you're...

6:59So inclined and you're a good golfer and you have really good equipment. Jade really does it. Mine's okay. Mike does. He has some good stuff. 100% right. No, but you don't. Yeah, I mean, you don't. But if it hits the grass, okay. This hit the concrete. It was like. I can't believe he did it again. Jay got him back. Jay got him back. What'd he do? He did the same thing to him. But I had to actually drive up beside you because he kept catching me. I'd do it and he's like, oh, good try, good try. So I pulled up beside you as you guys were in your car and I leaned out to the side. Yeah, and did it on the fly. On the fly. And it came. It was awesome. It makes my skin crawl. It's so fun. To watch some of these clubs fall. So how long were you guys... out there for with all these spins. We just got done. We just came straight from there. We just finished up our round. I just knocked in a three-footer for the last hole. Takes a long time. We stunk, though. We did. We didn't shoot well. We played okay, but we didn't shoot well. We didn't score well. We couldn't make a putt. Everybody played okay, but we couldn't make a putt. Every time Woodsy would drive, I was like,

8:08Wow, dude. J2, dude. Yeah. Jake can hit it. They're both really good. CB hits a ton. He's a monster, that guy. He hits a long drive. Yeah. When he gets it on the fairway, it's nice. Otherwise, if it's up in the trees. Your toes. I think I out hit all you guys. You out hit me. Sienna scared the crap out of me when she grabbed my club. She's like, I want to hit one. And she goes up and swings. So hard. I've never played. I know, but you missed. I was like, oh, God, it's going to fly out of her hand. And I totally missed them all. When she finally made contact, I'm like, hey, how'd you do that? I made contact my second try. Yeah, you did. That's pretty good. Because I'm used to baseball. That's the only thing I've done. She's going to kill somebody. I said in my recap that Mikey is the happiest bank offer I've ever seen. He's so happy. He snarks a ball and all of a sudden he's like, this is so much fun. I'm telling you.

9:06It's what you have to do. I want him with me probably at every sport I ever play because he's like, God, you're so good. I'm like, I'm the worst. So fun. Looked good to me. It was great. You're a good cheerleader. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was fun. So much fun. And the weather was perfect yesterday. Weird. The weather was really nice. And it was just a good time. And I thought, wow, you know, they're so thoughtful. At the golf course that they put a urinal on the. Oh, my God, you guys. Wait, what did you do? Hold on. Come again. What did you do? Hold on. Okay. On the carts, there are these. There's two cylinders in the front. No. And they go up and then they have a hole. Now, what's inside the cylinders is grass seed and sand. I didn't see that. They're white plastic. You know what? looks just like a product called the little johnny yep which is what you take with you on long trips if you're a guy uh and you can't pit stop you just use the little johnny so we get he gets in the cart with cb and i hear cb start cackling from behind i'm like what is he laughing about we pull up and he goes you know what this guy just asked me and i go what he goes he asked if these were toilets he thought they were little mobile toilets because mikey was all skied out thoughtful

10:24They hold sand and grass seeds. So if you have a divot, you replace it with the sand in there. And it's got a hole. He thought you'd just grab it and do your business in it and put it back on the court. On the run? Yeah, on the run. On the run because they know that you're out there all day and that you don't have time to make a pit stop. And so if you need to number one and you're a fella. You just use that. You just go somewhere where people can't see you. He was dead serious. Whose job would it be to clean this at the end of the day? You know what? Honestly, I thought when you get to the end of it, there must be some place where you go. A receptacle. Yeah, probably a toilet or whatever. It was the greatest thing I've ever heard. And the funny thing is Mike was like that the whole day. He was like. He was, I mean, everything. Everything was new. It's like going with a little kid at Disneyland. For the first time. The first time. And he's just like, what's this? And I'm like, he's like, where do we go to the bathroom? I'm like, dude, you go in the woods if you have to. He's like, really? I said it too. I go, there's no woods, dude. There's no woods. You're the only woods I see. I guarantee, though, because you thought that that was a urinal, 100% other people have done it and actually done it. Oh, my gosh. No. No. Really? No.

11:36You can honestly say you're the only human alive ever to know, to think that that was a toilet. It looks just like a little Johnny. We always feel like the margarita shakers is like, hey, anybody want a margarita? Yeah, it does. Yeah, it does. It was... No, it's like probably that tall. And it's got a hole in the top. Two feet, maybe? It's got a craned neck. It's got a craned neck and you... So I swing and I have a divot. And so I just go fill it with this sand and this seed that's in there so the grass will grow back. I was saying even that part of it. You thought it was a little pee pee machine. I did. I did. And even that part of it, what Woodsy just said, even that I was fascinated by. I was like, so there's actual grass seared in the grass? That is cool. I'm like, is it like, you know, instant grow, you know, seed? Is it sort of like? It was so classic. It was great. It was so much fun. And, you know, typically. How about me going when we would go by water and I would go, is there fish in there? Is that a turtle? It was like being with a five-year-old. Were there turtles? Yeah. That's cool. And then I would say, yeah, it was. I was like that. Wow. And I would go, Woodsy, have you ever eaten fish that you catch? Yeah, from a lake? Oh, my gosh. It's exactly like what it was like.

12:53It was like the first time I went to Yankee. One of the greatest days ever. It was like the first time I went to Yankee Stadium with my dad when I was like 10 years old. I'm just like. At least you're a good sport. And can I tell you this too? Such a good sport. Can I just say, and I mean this from the depths of my heart, Woodsy, Jay, and Chris are the most supportive guys I've ever been around. And I'm not kidding you. Because I would drive, right? And it would go 20 feet straight right. Every time. Every time. Why don't you just turn yourself a little to the left? We tried that. He is the most consistent goal. He's more consistent than Tiger Woods. I'm not kidding. To the right. It's bad. We made that joke. To the right, to the right. But every time, CB, Woodsy, Jay, they'd be like, consistent pal. Almost got it, man. Real close, Mike. Let me tell you about coming. So this is best ball. So you want to, like, my, our first hole, they used my drive, my second shot, and my putt. So I was feeling pretty good. I'm like, I'm going to have a good day. And I was worried. Yeah, Jay was worried. And so Mikey on this one hole, he's like, you know, because you want everybody to contribute. We're probably 50, 40 yards from the pin. So Cubby steps up. We all chip. And we're close. He steps up, knocks it four feet from the hole. Right? Four feet from the hole. Then he walks up. We're like.

14:21All right, dude, take us home. Finish it out. We don't want to putt. He walks up, sinks the putt. No way. Money. Yeah, money. It's the one thing that I'm able to do is chip. Chip. Chip. Not even a great putter, really, but I can chip. You can chip. I can chip. What is exactly chipping? Chipping is when you're pretty close to the green, and it's just a little, like, a little. Is this lobbing it up? A little lob. Lobbing it up. And the guy knocked it stiff, man, four feet from the hole, and then putted in it. I realized that I think I need to take my golf clubs in to be shaved down. There's no question. They're like this. They're tiny little clubs. They come up to his throat. Right. Because they're made for grown-ups, you know. Did you just put your arms farther down? He was. He was choking down, and then this thing was hitting him in the stomach. No wonder. I go, do they, hey, do any toddlers? Do any toddlers golf? Because if they do, I'll just get their clubs. They have different sizes. They have to. You need to just get yours cut down. Or you can just give me yours, and then we'll go get you some new ones. Because I might maim somebody for his irons because I love them so much. Where'd you get them from again? Titleist. Yeah. They're the best. Let me show you my favorite thing that Woods would do yesterday. Woods has a move when he makes a bad shot or bad drive. It's inherited, by the way. I want to see it so bad. It's inherited, yeah. This is what he does.

15:39He's lining up. Goes back. Drives. Bad drive. He does this bit. And just lets the golf club fall to the ground. Hands in the air. Drops the glass. Let's it fall to the ground. Just lets the club. And then he goes limp. Oh, God. And he drops the club. Your dad does that, too? You know how hard it is to not? curse on a golf course, and I tried my best, because Mikey doesn't curse, CB doesn't curse. I don't care. I know you don't, but it's just not something you want to do. I don't care. It was the hardest day of my life playing golf, because I am a cursor. When I'm on the course, I'm like... Mother. The whole thing, dude. I was biting my tongue. I was like. Once I full on had a conversation about it. We're not going to. Okay, let's try to. And then we got first thing out of my mouth. I just did a couple of inappropriate things. Yeah, immediately. I was like, oh, boy. I love it. I can't even go two minutes without. That would be me, too. It's so hard not to. You know what we got to talk about, man, is tonight is the night. Tonight's the meet and greet. Yeah. Want to get people out and have people come and support tonight.

16:49Bring your families and come on out and say hi. It's going to be a good time. What? What did I miss? I'm hot. Leave me alone. Woods is wearing like a little, like a pearl snap is what he calls it. The little snap down buttons. And all of a sudden he just grabs his hands. It's buttons. His shirt is button closed. He just rips it out. Like he's the Hulk. Is it warm? Yeah, it was hot. I'm hot. It's like snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. Oh my gosh. Pull in a china shop. Yeah. He is. I can't do anything. He's like, ah. It was like this. Ready? I was just sitting here. Sometimes they think that if he could be naked, if it was allowed, he would just be naked. And this guy strips and everything. I just went. He goes hot cold, though. I know. Like a woman. Menopause. That's right. Like a woman. Okay. Five to seven a night, right? Yeah. Who would be $2 tacos? I think there's the corned beef hash tacos, and then there's a Guinness deal, too, going on, the new Creamy Ale. And I think the Guinness girls are going to be there as well. Who cares about that? $2 pints. Yeah, come on, Lauren and I will be there. Yeah. $2 pints of the new Irish Cream Ale made by Guinness, and let's see, what else? Yeah, it's cool. And $2 tacos. That is awesome. Oh, I can't wait. Okay, so that's tonight. So, 5 o'clock.

18:15Yeah, five. We need to leave our house about, what, 3.30? Yeah, you know what we should talk about, too? What? Is what time either you or Jay will be paying off the bet. 6.30. How about in the middle? Six. Six. Let's do it right in the middle. All right. Just in case people, well, because people are going to be getting off work at five. Yeah, I was trying to think. 6.30 is probably best. Okay. Because then, if it's me, I'll have time to vomit. Jay will also have time to vomit if it's him. Yeah, because both of you think you will. I almost thought you were going to give it away. I was like, oh. And then he said, Jay. I was like, man. Well, we'll find out tonight. We will find out. We'll find out in an hour and an hour. I actually thought maybe we'd just wait to the meet and greet. No, no. Just kill everybody. We got to let listeners know. 730. So we will do that. How about this news about the Geezer Bandit? This is the greatest thing.

19:09Ever. I got my Union Tribune this morning. I'm checking out the front page, looking at a couple pictures, and it's the Geezer Bandit. And underneath it says, right on the front page, clever disguise may be letting bank robber fake geezerness. Really? Should we be working for the FBI? I'm telling you, man. I mean, what's happening? I'm telling you. They're just now figuring it out. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Maybe he has makeup on. And he's not really old. Maybe they've been listening to Mikey and Sienna. I don't know. From the very beginning, I said, I don't know that I think this guy's really 90 years old. Because it just doesn't seem very consistent with the behavior of a 90-year-old. Well, M1David posted something on the Facebook page yesterday. Oh, yeah. It was awesome. And it was pretty much exactly what we were talking about. It's this prosthetic little old man getup. So just go to... That was brilliant. For like 700 bucks. Go to Facebook.com and then type in The Mikey Show and you can become a fan of our page and you can see this stuff that was put up there. But it's just a fake old man suit. Yeah, but I was saying, I said maybe the San Diego Police Department starts sniffing around who in the area has been buying this kind of stuff. Listen to Magnum over here. Look at the pictures. I'm going to tell you a couple things. Okay. Okay? Yep.

20:29Now, first of all, the pictures that we have are kind of grainy from the bank. You know, all the pictures are a little bit grainy. But look at his hands. He has gloves on. Or else there's one where he doesn't have gloves on and they look really weird. They don't look like natural hands. So that's one thing that's like, he's got makeup on his face, but what's happening with the hands? Everything else is covered up. He has a hat on. He wears a full shirt, like a collared shirt or a t-shirt that goes all the way to his neck. He has a coat buttoned all the way. Pants every time. The only thing that's exposed, the neck and the hands. Fake hand bit. But he has gloves on in the majority of his robberies. I've seen this before. You have? It's the old fake hand bit. That's what they do. Yeah, the fake hand thing. It's the fake hand bit. What about, I wonder if any of the tellers can comment on his voice, because you can tell the distinct older man's voice. Yeah, really? Do you think maybe it's possible that he went, give me all your loot? Yeah, see? See, where's the bread? Give me the bread right now, see? I'm going to pump some lead into you if you don't.

21:34Also, we've said this before, the fact that he's, you know, they're estimating 190 pounds and six feet tall and he's like 80 years old. Yeah. You don't see too many 190 pound old men. Six feet, yeah. Because as you get older, you shrink. Yeah. Thank God, I can't wait for that. No. Wish it went the other way. Yeah, kind of. So I could be 80 and six feet tall. That would be great. That would be cool. Finally achieve that. 570-1949 is our number. We got M1HB from Rancho Bernardo on the line. HB, holla. What up? Hey, guys. What's up? I wanted to first and foremost say happy birthday to Sanjaya. Right? Happy birthday. That's right. Today's his birthday. He's a big friend of the show. For sure. Big friend of our show, for sure. And I also wanted to talk to Woodsy and find out why he doesn't tape E60 because he missed Mariano Rivera. I heard that from your boyfriend or fiance or whatever this morning. And I am going to watch it because I did not know that it was on because my wife hogs the DVR with Desperate Housewives and Dancing with the Stars and The Biggest Loser and what else? The Desperate Housewives of Madison County or whatever the hell it is.

22:48So I don't really get a taste of the DVR. Yeah, you need to get in there and get E60 taped. I will. It's an amazing produced program on ESPN, and they do different famous sports people. And it's just like a retrospective on their life and career, and it's really well done. Really, really well done. Awesome. There's always one that makes you cry. How rad was it? It was pretty awesome. It's really interesting to see something about him because you don't really know much about him. No, he's kind of been quiet. He stays out of trouble and is the greatest to ever play the game in that position. HB, thank you. We appreciate the call. See you tonight. We'll see you tonight. See you later. Lauren O'Brien picking the music today. Great start. Real good. Has anybody noticed, maybe you don't notice this, unless, until I say it, and then you go, oh, yeah. But has anybody noticed a lot of, when you're outside, gnats? Oh, yeah. Eye gnats, the kind that you're just. In the corner of your eyes? Yeah. And you're just, like, buzzing in your face? You see, you have big schools of them, packed. We're going to tell you about it. Gross. I'm going to tell you about it. And also, I don't know if you've heard about L.A. approving an Arizona, they're approving a boycott.

24:01Of Arizona. Business boycott. They're businesses, yeah. That's big time. Yeah, so we'll talk to you about that. We have a live studio audience in here this morning, which is real good. And we'll tell you about all of this stuff coming up. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. FM 94.9 recommended artists, Broken Bells, coming to Humphreys. Tuesday, May 18th. New band, new sound. Performing songs from their critically acclaimed debut album, Broken Bells. Humphreys concerts present Broken Bells with special guests, the Morning Benders. Tuesday, May 18th. Tickets available at Ticketmaster.com or at the Humphreys box office. Presented by your San Diego County Lexus dealers. Produced by AEG Live. We are the members of Navy Federal. Some of us come from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and the Department of Defense. Some of us have families who do. As we serve our country, we also buy cars, finance homes, educate our children, and plan for retirement.

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30:04Nothing. Every opportunity in front of you. The world's forward-thinking companies behind you. The Pacific Ocean beside you. Nothing standing between you. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. H1N1 if they haven't been vaccinated. Good morning, traffic brought to you by the California Department of Health. Californians are at risk for H1N1 if they haven't been vaccinated. H1N1 vaccine is proven to be safe. Visit cdph.ca.gov to find a vaccination location. We go to northbound on the 5 at Genesee Avenue. Vehicle fire there. It looks like fire department remains on the scene waiting for a tow truck to arrive to completely clear it. So in the meantime, expect delays. Coronado Bridge westbound. heavy there from 5 to the Toll Plaza traffic. Also brought to you by Caro's Restaurants at Caro's, your favorite mile-high breakfast now comes with all-you-can-eat pancakes before 11 a.m., so satisfy that mile-high appetite with a mile-high value only at Caro's. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9.

31:09And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If I like rock music and you bring up Hinder, the Hinder card, I can't go any further. Woods. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. Lauren. I like looking at boobs. Sienna. I can hit some mean wiffle balls in our yard. And Jay. I can make 100 hush puppies in like 30 seconds. On FM 94.9. I'm back. It's Mikey Show on a Friday with a lot. Nice. Well, Tori Amos caught a little sneeze. Light. What's the name of it? What? Caught a light sneeze. Caught a light sneeze. Caught a light sneeze. We talked about the iNat deal, okay? Now, the deal is that it's difficult for me to tell the difference between a gnat and a mosquito. Did you say the iNat deal? iNat, yeah. Is that the new product from Mapple? Yes, that's right, the iNat. It's aluminum. Expect it, like, immediately. Immediately, yeah.

32:30Expect the new iNat commercial to be on the air immediately. You can't tell the difference? Between an iNat and a mosquito? A mosquito has a little pointer thing. Mosquitoes are much bigger. When they're buzzing around, you can tell? Much bigger. Are they? Mm-hmm. iNats are smaller than a pea. They're teeny, teeny. Okay. Okay. They're like a pen. The size of the tip of a pen? The tip of a pen, yeah. All right. Well, maybe I do now. Well, you may have noticed them or if you haven't, you're going to now that we're talking about it because they are all over more than ever. They don't say approximately how many, but people are complaining. Well, there's no way to know if they do give you an approximation at some point. No, they might. They might. At some point, they may say there's an estimated 350 billion. And if they do say that, I'm going to go, really? Why? Because you took a census? Some guys out there, one, two, three, four. Oh, 957,421. To us. One, two, three, four. Well, there's an infestation, to say the least, and it's going to get worse as it gets hotter. It always does. You can always, like, especially if you live by the beach at the end of the summer, they're everywhere. When I was a child in elementary school and people would get pink eye, word on the street when I was a kid was, oh, yeah, it's caused by eye naps.

33:52And they fly into your eye and they give you pink eye. That's what I heard when I was a little kid. There's probably no truth to it. There's probably nothing that is based in reality. And I'm just continuing to spread something that isn't true. But I heard that when I was a kid. But really, all they do is they annoy you, right? Yeah. Well, the grand jury is saying that we need to designate the INAT as a priority. Something needs to be done because, I mean, it can negatively affect the quality of life for people and, you know, farming and stuff like that. That means it's annoying, right? Yeah. That's what negatively affect our quality of life means, right? That's what it says here. It will negatively affect the quality of life. Yeah. Meaning that we're at a... We must do something about the INAT. You can get into all of your, like, orifices. They get in your food and you don't know it and you eat it. What's more annoying than a gnat flying in your ear? Flying in your nose. In your nose. In your mouth. Nose is probably worse. Mouth is pretty bad. Nose tickles so much. You have to pick your nose to get it out and people are like, what's going on? Don't we all do that anyway?

34:55And we just pretend we don't because we try to pretend that we're not mature. In public, you have to pick it, though. If the iNat goes in there, people are going to be like, what's she doing? My wife hates when I pick my nose. I get knuckled deep. Ew. That's crazy. Write that down. She hates it. She's like, oh, my God. I'm like. I wonder why. She's got a clean house a little bit sometimes. Clean house. Do it when you're at home in the bathroom. How about that? I always do it in the car. Everyone does. And I'm waiting someday for some listener to call and be like. Hey, Woods, I saw you in The Five yesterday, and you were about knuckle deep, and you were blasting a cig at the same time. And talking on the phone. And talking on the phone. Don't anybody Photoshop, Woodsie. If you do, you're dead. Knuckle deep. Do it. If you do, you get a knuckle sandwich, okay? Try it. With bug on top. Try it. Yeah. I don't think there's... I think that if I had to pick, the most annoying for me would be the ear. That was... It's all annoying to me. That bit all day, just... Yeah, sticking your finger in your ear. Ooh, what if it gets in there? What was up on the course yesterday, dude? They were everywhere, first of all. They got me a couple times. They were getting Mikey. He was waving away from his face. Yeah. Well, here's how they can solve it. They did this one time with something else, but what they do is they put something in a spray that makes them not be able to mate. That can't be good. I know, right? For us. Right? Whatever that spray is.

36:22It can't be good for us, right? I thought it was the same thing. It can't be good for the environment. It can't be good for us. Or the environment. It's going to sterilize an INAT? Yeah, nothing wrong with that. Yeah, think of what it might do to us. That doesn't freak you out? No. It freaks me out, but only because people like L.O.B. have made it freak it out to me. It just doesn't sound right. Two peas in a pod. I know it. For sure. In Texas, they used to come through with a big truck with a smokestack on the back, and they would just fog the street. And we would ride our bikes, and then... Yeah. With your mouths open. Sucking up all that fog. Do we have gypsy moths out here? Do you guys know what those are? In New Jersey, they have the hairy little caterpillars that have red dots on their back. What are they called? Gypsy moths. And they eat all the trees. So they would come out with helicopters and stuff. Everyone had to go in their house and they would spray everything. Oh, they should just wait because they're gypsies. They'll move out of town anyway. They're rogue. You know what? They're ragabonds. You know what we have here like crazy? Snails. There are snails everywhere in my house. I don't have a lot of snails. You have a garden? Yeah. No, you know that. Yeah, there is a lot of snails, and they sell these little pellets that you put up. Kids are going to be buying some pellets this weekend. Yeah, if they're bad for dogs, they'll kill your dog. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, then never mind. The snails or the snail killer? The snail killer.

37:49Okay, then I got one way that you can get rid of your snails. I step on them. Salt. You can get a little pie pan and pour beer in it, and that'll get them. Really? Mm-hmm. They all attract to the beer? Attract to the beer. The dogs will drink that, too. My dogs will drink the beer, though. So will you, Woods. Find Woods out in the backyard. That's right. Woods is out there asleep next to a pie tin. Oh, wow. Honey, come inside. Yeah. I'm just killing the snails. You know, there are glasses in the kitchen you use. I'm just killing the snails, hon. Sienna, tell everybody about the... The Arizona boycott. This is just getting nuts. Well, the L.A. City Council has overwhelmingly approved the boycott of Arizona-based businesses and governments. They approved it on Wednesday, unless the state repeals the new Arizona law. But it doesn't look like it's going to be happening. And other cities in California, San Francisco, Oakland have already adopted resolutions requesting the city departments not to sign any new contracts with any businesses in Arizona. And just so you know, L.A. currently has 50...

38:55$56 million in contracts with companies headquartered in Arizona. Wow. $56 million. I bet you they don't do it, though. Well, they have a Hispanic mayor, so I'm sure he feels pretty strongly on that. Yeah, you know who else feels really strongly? Business owners that don't want to have their businesses affected. Like, they may support it, but they're like, I'm not going to do it. I'm not doing it. I think it's great that you'll do it. I'm not going to do it because I've got a business to run. But, man, if you do it, I think it's great. That's one of those deals. M1. Bobby Light from Lakeside's on the line. You there, Bobby? Yeah. What's up, Mike? Not too much, dude. So you're calling to tell us about the gnats that they have in Florida. Yeah, we call them nosiums. If they're so small, you can't see them. They're just like the ones here, but they swarm everywhere, but they bite like ants. That's way worse. They literally feel like an ant bite. That just gave me the skeebs. Ouch. Just gave me the skeebs. Yikes. The bugs in Florida are like 90 times worse. Oh, yeah. They live in the humidity, huh? That's awful. Thank you, dude. All right, no problem. Appreciate the phone call. We'll find out what's happening. Got a big story. Woodsy's got a big story about Brian Cushing. The Padres win again. Weird. Nice. What a game.

40:28That was yesterday. You guys, we were on the course, but I saw the highlights. Matt Latos, Mikey, went out and threw a complete game, one hitter. Nice, dude. The only hit was a comebacker to the mound, so he throws it. It gets hit weakly back to him. He couldn't handle it. The only hit of the day. Also, he didn't walk anyone. So it was what you call a gem. That's great. He also knocked in the Padres' only run as the pitcher. Wow, are you serious? Yeah, it was a big day for him. And the Pods swept the Giants for the second time this year. They're coming home today to take on those hated Dodgers. Uh-oh. We still going to the game? I think that's what I'm trying to figure out is what day I can go. Kids get a lot going this weekend, but I'm going to try to get out there Sunday. I say get them. Get the Dodgers. Go get them. I'll go Sunday. Yeah, nice. Yeah, make it right. I'm totally down. A little family day? Yeah, family day. Sold. Well, it is finally over. LeBron James and the Cavs are done. They were the favorites in the Eastern Conference, and now they're getting their fishing gear ready, my friend. That's it. LeBron played well last night. He finished with a triple-double. It just wasn't enough, though. Now the wait begins. So how do you, Mike, if you're Cleveland, how do you let LeBron go? He is your only hope. And how, if you're LeBron?

41:41Do you stay in Cleveland? Yeah. If you've got a choice. Yeah. It's almost one of those situations where he doesn't want to stay. And so almost anything they throw at him, he's like, he's going to find a reason to not like it so he can go somewhere. And, you know, the thing is, everybody's saying Knicks and things like that. I don't know, man. The Knicks have been making moves to get to free up a lot of a lot of money for LeBron. I mean. He may be the savior of that franchise next, but he needs to go somewhere where he has a better supporting cast so that he can win a title. He's too good not to. But here he is talking about the loss, Mike, on cut one, my friend. I have no plans at this point. I've made no plans. You know, you want to continue to win throughout the postseason. You know, the fact that it's over right now is definitely a surprise for myself. But a friend of mine told me today after the game that I guess you have to go through a lot of nightmares before you finally, you know, accomplish your dream. And that's what's going on. individually for myself right now. That's a very clever little saying. You have to go through a lot of nightmares to accomplish your dream. That's true. He's starting to get the rap of not being... MJ would put the team on his back and he'd will the Bulls to win. He just would do it. I've seen him do it a million times. LeBron's getting that rap of, that guy puts up pretty good numbers, but I don't know that he's the man.

42:57He's got to have people around him that will. Got to have that supporting cast, man. And we've been talking all week about Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing. You guys may or may not know, but he was nearly stripped of his Defensive Rookie of the Year award for testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs. He addressed the media yesterday. Now, he is a football player, so we'll give him a break there, but he's not a professional speechmaker. Listen to how nervous this dude is. Cut three. Suspended by the league for a non-steroidal banned substance. I denied then and continue now that I ever took a substance banned by the National Football League. I appealed the decision and in that process presented significant medical and scientific data challenging the league's determination that the banned substance was present by ingestion that was not naturally occurring. Now, I'll tell you this. He's doing a thing where he's trying to just read it as... fast as he possibly can to be done with it. It was kind of like me, my first day in Woods on sports. Yeah. Just wanted to get done. I wanted to get it over with. I hated it. As quick as you can. That weird music behind it. I want to make it known that I can't inject or ingest any illegal substances that would enhance my performance. My only option was to appeal the decision to the very entity, very entity. Lost his place. He lost his place? Oh. Oh. That also was the deciding factor.

44:23It makes my skin crawl. It makes my skin crawl. They were like, look, don't say anything outside of just read what's on the paper. Just don't even, don't even, don't add anything. Don't add a lib. Just read what's on the paper. They're like, or don't. Or don't. Or don't. How hard could it be? Oh, my gosh. That's so hard to listen to when somebody just can't get through it. I feel, I feel for him. Me too. It's a good smile, though. A good smile. I was like, oh, you have to. I'm like, you can do it, man. You can do it. And then finally, you guys all know the movie Field of Dreams, don't you? Yeah. It's one of my favorite movies. Now, yes, it is a fantasy movie, but it's a fantasy about baseball, not aliens, so it's okay. Guys, seriously, if you like the movie, listen to this. Isn't it about ghosts? Aren't there ghosts in that? No. Yes. Yeah, there are. The ghosts of Shula Joe Jackson. You know that. Anyway, they're selling the entire farm and field. In everything. In Iowa? They're selling it. It's in Dyersville, Iowa. It can be yours for only $5.4 million. Oh, no. Who would? I would. I would. In a heartbeat. Why? It's a beautiful home. It's a gorgeous home. The field, the farm. The field is amazing. But 5.4? It's a working farm, though.

45:35If you have that kind of money, do it. If I had that kind of money, I would move there. Yeah, and the movie meant everything to you, and just really you connect to it, and it means so much to you. Like my wife and I sitting on that front porch having dinner, looking at that baseball field all lit up. I'd be waiting for Shoeless Joe to come walking out of the corn. It's the greatest movie. That would be fun. It would be amazing. So that's what's on sports today, buddy. What I like, Field of Dreams. You've never seen it? Oh, dude, Mike. It's a story about, yeah, you would, because it's about a father and son. Yeah, you would, Santa. No, I just, I was a sigh. I was like, of course he hasn't seen it. He hasn't seen Meet the Parents. It's basically about a father and a son. You would love it. I don't want to cry. Is it going to make me cry? Oh, dude, I cry every time I watch it. I didn't cry. L.O.B. just gave me the silent. L.O.B. just mouthed to me. You're not a boy. Yeah, you're not going to cry. You're not a boy. You never played catch with your dad. That's the bit. You're talking to me because I haven't. Okay, then never mind. You wouldn't like it. Yeah, I haven't. I've never played Jackson like that. I don't think it'll stand the test of time with you. Really? Yeah. Watch it. Do you even know who Shoeless Joe Jackson was? Okay, never mind. Just watch it. Won't mean anything to you? I haven't seen Shoeless. Try Tommy Boy first and then we'll get you into Shoeless. Baby steps. Baby steps. Meet the parents. Old school. Meet the parents. Old school. Hangover. Try these first. Police Academy. Take a listen to what Sienna said in her recap email.

46:58She said last night she's watching some entertainment news. Weird. They were doing this story about Princess Di, right? Uh-huh. So she's pretty interested in it, and she's like that she had something interesting to say to her husband Todd. She goes, babe, she says, I know this may sound weird, but do you ever see something that makes you feel like you were a part of it from another life? Really? Like in another life. Yeah. Like you see something and it like really just strikes you and it hits home. You're like, I've been there before. I've done that. I love that animal. Oh. She said that she went to London a few years ago and she stood outside Buckingham Palace and this feeling came over her. Like she had been there before. You guys, I am telling you the truth. Mom! I want Buckingham Palace. I want it. Okay, but. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I'm telling you the truth. No, it doesn't at all. I didn't think you were supposed to take mushrooms when you were pregnant. I thought you weren't supposed to. I'm serious. And when I said that to Todd, he was like, actually, he didn't think that was weird. Okay, now, let me ask. He'd had seven bottles of wine at the time. Exactly. He was asleep next to a pie tin full of beer. Pie tin. When he said it. Pie tin. So, let me, I just, I want to work through this feeling. Okay.

48:25Is it a feeling like I've experienced this exact thing before? Like deja vu. No, it was a feeling. Well, first, the first one, the first time I felt it, I felt it a lot of times. And it all is around something that involves royalty or a castle. Weird. Weird. I'm serious. You guys, I'm being... Can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Does it only happen when you're in your castle? I can like... watch any movie and like you know Elizabeth or whatever and I'm like wow maybe you were Juliet maybe I wasn't Juliet no there's a great line in the when first investigated people thought it was a strange occurrence to think that she had actually lived in another life until people actually started to investigate it a bit and then they realized that perhaps she was a queen I could have been you guys

49:25I really could have been. You could have been. It wasn't until they actually found underneath her bed a staff and a goblet with a crown. She rips her shirt open. There's a tiara. She's like... No, but, okay, let me just describe to you when I went to Buckingham Palace with my friend Casey. And I stood there and the guards, when I saw the guards standing out there, I was like... That's Fred. I know that guy. Fred. That's freaking Fred. Fred goes, Sienna. They look at each other like, Princess Fred? Is that you? No. Did the guards go, Sienna? Is that you? Your Majesty? It was from another life, I'm telling you. So those guards weren't there. But the uniforms and the whole front entrance, I don't know. I was like, I've been here before. You've seen it before. And I've been behind those walls. Wow. And I said that to my friend and she's like, it's insane. You've been smoking hash out of the holiday apple. I know. I love it, Ben. But anytime I watch a movie or something, I'm like, I really, like, I relate to this royalty-ness. I relate to this royalty-ness. I love it. It's a great line in the movie Bull Durham. He looks at her and he goes, it's Kevin Costner. He looks at Sarana and he goes,

50:48How come everybody was somebody famous in their past life? How come nobody was just like a Joe? That was a plumber, my past life. Everybody was like, I think I was Catherine of Troy. Exactly. No, I don't know if I was a queen or a prince servant. I could have been a servant. I mean, I don't know. All I know. Really? No, I'm sure I was better. I think I did the grounds. I saw habaneros outside of Buckingham Palace. I knew I'd been there. I'm pretty sure I wasn't a servant. If that's the deal, why don't you tell us where the bathrooms are? You start telling me where the bathrooms are in Buckingham Palace, and I'll be like, wow. Well, I don't know if it was Buckingham Palace that I lived at. Yeah, I believe her. It was a palace. It was a palace, Mike. But you guys, really, that's never happening where you... Mike, it was the pizza palace in Oklahoma. I was a waitress there. You guys really like that's never happened to you. You're like, I'm sure of it. I am. It was beyond deja. It was like, you know what? Actually, yesterday when we were golfing, I actually thought to myself.

51:53I think I've manicured these grounds. Oh, wait. In another life. I have. I have. I actually have manicured these grounds. Maybe you should come to my house then. Our grass looks a little rough. That's right. I'll spit habanero seeds out on you. On your grass. No need. There's plenty. There's plenty. There's like a habanero forest there. That's so awesome. You need habanero as you come to my house. See, I always wish that. There's a lot of people that believe in that reincarnation, past life. My mom, on Mother's Day, we were sitting out looking at the ocean view. And she was saying, we saw a dolphin. And she was like, you know. I really think that maybe I was a dolphin in another life. Really? She loves dolphins and, like, relates to them. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I was royalty. She relates to them. Maybe I was a puppy then. Yeah? You could have been. You could have been, yeah. Could you relate to puppies? Yeah, like dogs. I think I was a dude. 100%. Absolutely. 100%. L.O.B. has some very guy-like tendencies. Yeah.

52:51She does. 570-1949 if you want to give us a call. M1 Kyle from San Diego. What are you doing, man? I'm just calling in for the first time, actually. I've been listening to you guys since you switched over to 949. Nice. And I realize, you guys, I want to give props to the kid and you, Mikey. Got me on to electronic cigarettes. I didn't get you onto electronic cigarettes, so you don't have to give me any props. I don't think I did either. Well, I'll give you props. I thought you tried it. You were going to get it, and you tried it. I like it. I have it. I like it. But I just, I'm not ready yet. Yeah, Woodsy ain't ready. Why, did you quit smoking that way, Kyle? Well, no, no. I was a pack-a-day smoker, right? And I used that. I just started two days ago. Yeah. And now I'm down to three. That's great. That's awesome. That's cool. He's cutting out about 17 cigarettes a day. Yeah, exactly. That's good. It saves me like, you know, 10 bucks a day. Oh, yeah. Because I buy, you know, two packs anyway. Right. And your lungs will thank you too. For sure. Yeah, tell me about it. For sure. Good luck with that, man. Good luck. Good luck, man. Appreciate it. Glad I could help. M1 Kyle. Yeah, what's he? I'll get there. Don't worry about it. Will you? Yeah, don't worry about it. You can get there? Yeah.

54:11He is chewing his mouth right now. If he keeps surfing, he'll be forced to quit. It's pretty funny seeing a guy out on a surfboard with a giant dip in his mouth. I'm actually, I was thinking about that. I'm thinking about trying. No. Yeah. I'm thinking about trying it. Why? You pee in the ocean. It's the same thing. Can you imagine how this? It's urine and they get spit. When you're next to somebody out there? That happens anyway. I don't surf with people. You know that? I know that. I won't go surfing with you if you're going to do that. It makes me nauseous. Oh, yeah. Hello, B with a little Eurythmics. I got a great story about this song, but I can't tell it on the air. So Larry King, he's always good for show content. He's pretty much gold. In fact, we can do the Larry King recap show and still get high ratings. Four hours a day. Yeah. So here's the deal with Larry King. He interviewed T.I., the rapper, last night. And amongst other things, asked him why black rappers shoot each other but white country singers don't. Oh, boy. Oh, no, he didn't. And then awkwardly tried to get T.I. to rap. Oh, God. I can't wait. And we have the audio of it next. Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.

55:49Hey, shoppers. Supermodelkin Josh here to introduce Old Navy's sweet grand opening this Saturday. So I've asked the new guy. The Mike. Yeah, that guy. To make my announcement more announcer-y. So come hang this weekend. Hurry into Old Navy this Saturday. The store looks way cool. The entire store got a fab-tacular makeover. There's, like, prizes and stuff. The first 200 shoppers could score free jeans or a graphic tee. Big prizes. I mean, huge. The first 200 shoppers also have a shot at a $500 or $200 shopping spree. And now for the rest of the details. Thanks, Mike. Hey, everybody. Come check out Old Navy's grand opening party, Saturday, May 15th at the Santee Trolley Square. Doors open at 9 a.m. Bring the whole family. No purchase necessary. One name tag per customer, AJ, Dean, and all. See participating Old Navy's... Yeah. What he said. And it's better than ever for four days only. A giant used car tent sale at Qualcomm Stadium. This Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Up to 2,000 vehicles from San Diego's best dealers. Must be sold. Cars, trucks, vans, SUVs. Most makes and models. Make us any offer. Trade-ins welcome, paid for or not. Four days only. A giant used car tent sale.

57:11Used car tent sale at Qualcomm Stadium. Going on now through Sunday night. All vehicles are clearly marked and place to go. Need financing? Lenders will be on site with immediate loan approval. If you're even thinking about buying a pre-owned vehicle, don't miss this sale. Up to 2,000 cars, trucks, vans, and SUVs must be sold. This Thursday and Friday, noon till 9. And Saturday and Sunday, 9 till 9. Used car tent sale at Qualcomm Stadium. Qualcomm Stadium. Four days only. Up to 2,000 vehicles. Parking and admission are free. Free. Those commercials are hilarious, brother. Do you really like them, compa? Do you really think the güeros get them, though? I don't know if they get it, pero me los lavas cada día, brother. Te lo lavas todo el día. When I was in last time, I had the Yucatecos and the carnitas. The carnitas. Do you like the Yucatecos? I love the Yucatecos. They were the bomb. Next time, you make sure you try the chicken a la suya. It's our take on chicken mole. You have to try it. It's green from the Guerrero State. Chicken mole, spicy, sweet. Hopefully. it's like mamas because you know what? I like my mole. Dude, they don't call us Mama Testa for nothing. You gotta try them. It's just like your mama. They are awesome. Cesar, ¿qué dices hermano? ¿Qué estás haciendo aquí? Okay, I'm ready. What's my line? Can you say it's a wrap?

58:21Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can beat Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. And we'll challenge you to find simple ways to move closer to your goal. Put the treadmill on incline. Go for five more minutes on the elliptical machine. With state-of-the-art equipment, more than 400 clubs nationwide, and the support of more than 3,000 certified personal trainers, there's always an everyday challenge to set your sights on in 24-hour fitness. Take a group exercise class. Try jumping rope. So take your first challenge today. Try 24-hour fitness free for seven days. Visit a club near you or download your free seven-day pass at 24hourfitness.com. To give yourself even more motivation, watch us help contestants on NBC's The Biggest Loser on Tuesdays at 8, 7 Central. They challenge themselves every day, and so can you. Facilities and amenities vary by location. Not all clubs open 24 hours a day. Personal pain available for an additional fee.

59:35with wireless voice service, digital home phone, internet, and TV services. Cable doesn't do that. Hey, Lisa, AT&T lets us build a bundle and choose from home phone or wireless voice service for the same low price. Great, honey. And we get AT&T U-verse TV with DVR service that lets us record four shows at once. And high-speed internet from AT&T with blazing fast speeds. It's terrific. So, uh, I'm getting the AT&T bundle with wireless. Okay, Lisa? Wait, why don't we get the bundle with the home phone? Because with wireless, I'll have my own phone so your mom won't be calling every two minutes. Mother-in-law joke? Oh, no. Really? Funny, right? No. Way to go, big guy. Up high. Build an AT&T bundle starting at $99 a month with a one-year price guarantee. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT. Visit our stores or click att.com slash TV.

1:00:21Geographic and service restrictions apply. Call or go to att.com slash tv to see if you qualify. Taxes and limit charges apply. One year term required for bundled universe services. Offering 71710 for details. Summer begins May 15th at the On Back 57th Annual Coming Out Party. Starring Revolution, Cowboy Mouth, Fishbone and more. Music, beer and the Miss Mission Beach Contest. $10 presale. $15 at the gate. So get to OMBAC.org to get your ticket to drink on the beach. See bikinis at Rock to Revolution. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, Visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the job. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. Good morning traffic brought to you by SeaWorld San Diego. SeaWorld kicks off its festival of Latin music.

1:01:41Food and fireworks performing live at Shamu Stadium on May 15th. Rake and on May 16th. Camila, visit SeaWorld.com slash Viva for concert information. We go to Northbound 5 before Palm Avenue. Multiple cars involved in a crash up to three, mostly in the center divide. And traffic is a little sluggish as you approach and pass the scene of it. Traffic also brought to you by the California Department of Health. Californians are at risk for H1N1 if they haven't been vaccinated. H1N1 vaccine has proven to be safe. safe. Visit cdph.ca.gov to find a vaccination location. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Welcome back to the show. Got this Larry King audio coming up for you here in just a second. Pretty outrageous, you know. And Larry King does a thing that is a very well-known talk show thing to do, which is to, if you have something really controversial you're going to ask, what you do is you say, you know, we've got some emails here from people that they want. I could care less about asking this. But listeners, you know, are emailing that they want me to ask you this question. It's one of those deals. Just the messenger. I'm just asking the question because it's what wants, you know, they want to know. Meet and greet is tonight, by the way.

1:03:45We're going to be out at Hoolies in La Mesa. We'll be out there from 5 to 7. And we'd love to see you come out there. And at 7.30 this morning, we're going to be telling you who won the bet between Woods and Jay. And who's going to have to be paying off the bet. Either Woods is going to be eating Indian food, which last time he did that, he threw up and threw the container against the wall. The only time he's ever had it. Or it's going to be Jay that is going to be... eating veal, which he hasn't had meat for 22 years. So that will be... That's right. Time to settle a bet. So we will be doing that at 7.30. By the way, I want to mention this because it's something close to my heart. Tonight at Lestat's on Adams Avenue, and that's happening, by the way, tonight at 9 p.m., there are going to be four artists that are performing. And it is a benefit for banding together, nonprofit that provides music therapy scholarships and instruments and mentorships and stuff like that to kids and teens with special needs like autism. And my son, Jake, has autism and has been helped so much through music.

1:05:04And so things like this really, really help to benefit that. And it's $10 at the door. It's happening tonight at Lestat's. And there's going to be musical performances from some local artists that are really good. Trevor Davis, John Cooper, Joseph Pfeiffer. And it's going to be really good. And the Kingsman, a band of teenagers with autism, are going to be performing there tonight. It's really, really cool. It's at Lestat's on Adams Avenue. tonight at 9 o'clock, and it's really, really cool. So I always want to mention them because it's a good deal. Larry King. So Larry King is talking to T.I., the rapper, last night and asking him all kinds of questions. But here's how he positions this particular question. One of our people on Twitter want to know why black rappers shoot each other. No one had guns for white rockers. Or country singer. I mean, I can't. One of our people on Twitter. Wow, he just pulled that out of nowhere. Well, you can kind of hear a little bit of, you know, when he starts to say it. One of our people on Twitter want to know why black rappers shoot each other. No one had guns for white rockers. Or country singer. I mean, I can't answer that. Is there a reason for that? I mean, you know, I can only speculate. Just off the top of my head, I mean.

1:06:31Our music was born in an environment and neighborhoods where this is the common activity. Now, let me tell you, T.I. was in jail, did some jail time, for having a lot of weapons. He had a lot of weapons. But he's a guy that I think has really turned his life around. I actually kind of like this. Do you take responsibility for a lot of what happened to you? I do. I take full responsibility for everything that happened to me. I'm not, you know, I mean, even though in certain circumstances I was put in, I was considered a victim, but I don't feel like I'm a victim of society or anything else. I'm the first one to say, man, you know, your life is what you make of it. Society don't owe me anything, you know. I feel like.

1:07:24For me to learn from my experiences, make necessary adjustments and move forward is what's required. I like a guy owning it. Yeah. I like him. Yeah, I do. I like T.I. Me too. And I just, I like a guy owning it. He says, you know, I did it and that's it. It's okay to make a mistake, but you got to learn from your mistakes. Absolutely. Absolutely. You got to try at least. Want to hear Larry awkwardly try to get T.I. to rap? Yes, of course. Want to rap a little? You've got 45 seconds. Yeah. We've been rapping for that. Do something. Do something. Go, go. And now. Lauren is a stand-up comedian. It's like if somebody goes, be funny. Tell me a joke. You've got 45 seconds. Be funny. Tell me a joke. People do that all the time. We've been rapping for an hour. Oh, God, I'm done. I've got to go. I've got to go. I've got to go. I've got to go. I've got to go. That make you uncomfortable at all? I gotta go. That's ridiculous. Yeah. Makes you a little uncomfortable, doesn't it? Snoop Dogg did it. For an hour. For an hour. I gotta go. I gotta go. For an hour. What's he doing? He's doing the beat. He's getting a beat. He's like, and pick it up from there. Do you know the Wilson sisters? Can you lay a beat down to that? That's awful, dude. You know who was a good rapper? Oh, gosh.

1:08:46Edgar Hoover. I'd rap a package like nobody I've ever seen. We've been rapping for an hour. Oh, God, I'm done. Say something. Nah, don't do that. Don't do that. I'm trying to do rap. An Asian Jewish guy writes rap songs. Yeah. Wouldn't that be a hit? Hey, whatever. How about this, though? Whatever you want some rope for, you just come highlight me. Whatever I want. Whatever you want. That's the best part of the whole thing. Oh, my God. Whenever you want something wrote for you, right? What? What'd you say? Just come holler at me. I'd like for a song to be written for you, Larry. Just come holler at me. Oh, and I'm hollering. Did you say holler? I'm hollering. Do something, will you? I'm hollering because I can't hear a frigging thing. I'm 98 years old. We need that clip of just Larry going, what? And the one, I've been rapping for an hour. All right, dude. Maybe hang up the cleats, pal. Yeah. Seriously. What? Maybe hang up the cleats, Larry. Maybe that's a good idea. Maybe take it to the house, drink some iced tea, sit on the porch. I don't know. Enjoy your last 30 minutes. I think he should be upgraded to Comedy Central or something. Amazing. We need that guy to keep doing it. Yeah. That's true. Pretty amazing story here. This is really, really crazy. If you haven't heard this yet, check it out. Sorting junk mail day after day.

1:10:10Driving the same rural mail route week after week. You can understand why Shirley Deigart of Teague, Texas, thought she could use a little exhilaration for a change. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, and I just thought, you know what, this might be kind of fun. So, for her 54th birthday, this grandmother of three decided to send herself... Grandmother of three, by the way. 54 years old. Started early. My mom's 47. Is she really? Yeah, she's going to be a grandmother. This is the first grandma. Are you the oldest? No, my brother. Your brother's the oldest. Yeah. So you could be young, man. Have some grandkids. I know it. Air mail. To jump out of a plane from 13,000 feet. So you get it. She's 54. She says, hey, it's my 54th. I want to jump out of an airplane. I want to be a skydiver. I want to experience that. Like all these people. Shirley would be strapped to her instructor in what's called a tandem jump. And you're just basically there for the ride. This is Shirley just moments before her jump. Behind her, Dave Hartsock, her instructor, and soon-to-be hero. Now, if you've never tandem jumped before, you're taped to the front of them like you're in a baby bjorn. Like you're in a baby bjorn, is what it looks like. Hugging. Yeah, your back is to their stomach. That's how it works.

1:11:31Spooning. Yeah. There isn't any video of what happened next, but these pictures give you at least some sense of the horror. Their first parachute opened, but only partially. Oh, God. And their reserve chute just got tangled up with the first one. Question. Haven't they figured that? So let me get this straight. We can get 950,000 channels on satellite TV, but we haven't figured out the parachute situation? Because I've heard that before. The first shoot opens fine. Second shoot gets tangled in first shoot. Like there should be some sort of a system where if the first one doesn't deploy well, you can somehow get rid of it and then try the second one. Maybe they don't want to do that, though, because they're like, well, what if the second one don't work? At least you want to half open shoot rather than no shoot at all. Right. Maybe. I don't know. I was just, huh. So that's how I'm going to die. And I thought, please help us. God, please help Dave. And we just continued to spiral. Oh, my God. And so it was, at roughly 40 miles an hour and 100 feet from their maker, that Dave did the truly unimaginable. Just before crashing, he told Shirley to lift up her feet. He then pulled down on the control toggles to rotate their position, to put his body under hers, to act as a cushion.

1:12:58so that when they hit, he would take the brunt of the fall. I can't hardly believe it. He broke my fall. Nice. Dave didn't die, but his valor cost him dearly. He's now paralyzed with just a little movement in his right arm. People keep telling me that it was a heroic thing to do, and in my opinion, it was just the right thing to do. I mean, I was the one who was completely responsible for her safety. What other choices were there? Can you believe this guy? Can you believe this guy? So what he did was, right? So they're going. She's got her back to his stomach. He pulls down on those toggles. You've seen them, right? And what it does is it spins them. Just completely spins them. Now he's on the bottom. She's facing up. Now they hit. Now they hit with, you know, obviously some strong impact. And by the way, he may get. more and more and more back. This is where he is now because it's just happened. But let me ask you, could you do it? Could you do it? I'm sure I could. And then the other question I have is skydiving in general. Because most people say, well, the odds of that happening are astronomical, which they probably are. But are you willing to try it? I think that's part of the thrill. Right? Isn't it? Part of it. What do you think, Jay? So Kim's dad, when she was a little girl, was supposed to go

1:14:29skydive with this other family, and Kim's mom threw a fit. So the guy that was going took his daughter instead. Guess whose chute didn't open? No way. The daughter? The daughter. That could have been Kim. No, it would have been Kim's father. Kim's dad didn't go. Kim wasn't going to go because she was a little bitty, but her dad was supposed to go. And instead, Kim's mom said, you're not going to go. You know, gave him a real hard time, and he was like, all right, I guess I'm not a man. And then the daughter, he would have had the shoot. He would have died. That's a whole other one. Did you escape death? Did you escape it? Like, hey, that was supposed to be da-da-da. Like, I remember we got calls. There were people that were calling us that said, hey, I was supposed to be on flight 93. Yep. Yep. And I was so freaked out that morning because I knew that I was going to get fired because I didn't make the airplane or that kind of deal. Or I was too tired. I was too hungover. I didn't want to go. Blah, blah, blah. And you not going actually ends up saving your life? My dad, actually, there was a huge crash in Dallas. There was a water tower and a plane. It's 1985. Crashed in the water tower. Killed everybody on board. Some of the shrapnel or whatever you call it, the wreckage. Went on to 114, the highway. Killed another family in the car. I think my dad was supposed to be on that flight. No way. And it was my parents' wedding weekend.

1:15:55Incredible. Missed his flight. Incredible. Wow. Now, when you think about what this guy did, it may be instinct what this guy did. As he's skydiving, it may be instinct like, I got to save her. It may be instinct. It may be something that he's got to think about it where he's actually got to go, is it going to be her or is it going to be me? I would like to think that most of us would say, I would do exactly what he did. Yeah. Sienna, what would you do? I don't know. I mean, I would hope that I would do exactly what he did, you know? I think that he was the experienced one and knew how to do that stuff, though. Like, she's just falling. She doesn't know how everything works. But he could have done this. He could have known exactly what to do, but gone, I don't know, I'm going to save my own skin.

1:16:47But I don't think that that's... But how would he have done that? In the air? Can he have transitioned to get... Well, yeah, because she's below him. She would have hit... She would have hit first. Oh, so they're falling like that. They're falling. They're falling. I mean, that's how... That's how... When you're tandem, the person that you're instructing is below you. Okay? The person that you're instructing is below you. So what he did was reverse that. Yeah. How do you live with yourself if you... You can't. If you're the instructor and you don't save... I think it may be reflex. Oh, wow. I think we all like to think of ourselves as possibly heroic. I mean, I know if I saw a kid in a river, I mean, I know I'd go in. I know I would. I know I would dive in. If I saw a dog in a river flailing away, I would dive in. I mean, without thinking. I think it's instinctual and a reflex. I can't believe that he didn't. I know. Well, the chute was halfway deployed, and so it was breaking some of their fall. But still. 40 miles an hour. 40 miles an hour is pretty. From 13,000 feet. The velocity on that you'd think would, upon impact, just pulverize. I know it. Both of them, right? I mean, you would almost think it would be both of them. They hit the ground like, ooh. I hope that every well-known surgeon hears of this and wants to help, you know, and just helps this guy. Well.

1:18:12He actually had a sense of humor about it. She went and visited with him, and he had a sense of humor about it. I mean, dude was a pretty cool guy. He's lucky to be alive. He's lucky to be alive. He's an amazing guy. It's an amazing story. I mean, you know, they both lived. He had a sense of humor about it. He said, you know, she went and saw him, and he was like, what do you think? You ready to give it another shot? Oh, my God. He's not kidding. He will. He said he'll do it again. You know, he'll skydive again. I think if you're an instructor, you probably know every day that you go up there. You're putting your life on the line, but you love it so much. It's worth the thrill and everything. And you probably, you know, when you decide to take on someone like that, you probably realize you're taking on the burden of, okay, this person's life is literally in my hands. I bet they have to do courses and stuff like that, you know, if that situation does happen. That's one thing, man, I've had. I used to be a bit of a thrill seeker in my youth. No desire. Zero. No desire to bungee jump. No desire to skydive. I have no desire to bungee jump, but I skydive. You do? I did. From 14,000 feet. From 14 what? From 14,000 feet. Oh, wow. I can't imagine. Because you're going so fast before they...

1:19:29pull the chute and then you're, okay, now I'm kind of like gradually floating. Yeah. If it just kept going that fast, there'd be vomit just flying up into the air. Yeah, terrifying. You'd get sick. Yeah, for sure. Listen, even when I've gone surfing with you guys, I'm out there in the water and I'm like, that shark's coming. I know it. Any second I'm going to feel the impact of a shark grabbing a hold of me. And taking me under until he realizes he doesn't like Mexican food. And then he's going to let go of me. Until he realizes he doesn't like Mexican food, I'm toast. I've started trying to go as much as I can. And, yeah, it's there in the back of your mind. But you're like, it's worth it. It goes away. And you're saying to yourself, until they figure out they like white bread, you're done. I'm just going to go, man. I'm just going to keep going. And if that's the plan, then that's the plan, dude. Probably be my number one least way to go. Well, that's like one of the M1s wrote us an email and was like, would you rather be the guy like, oh, yeah, Uncle Bob died in his sleep, good guy, or would you like to be the guy remembered for, man, he was killed in the shark attack. No, I don't want to be that guy. Really? I don't want to be that guy. I would rather be that guy. We were in Mexico. This stingray, it jumped up out of the water, and it was like three feet up in the water.

1:20:45It had a span of like two and a half feet. It had this long whip tail. And at that point, I was like, all right, that thing's going to land on my face. Steve Irwin. Yeah, that's what I thought, too. I mean, that's terrifying. That's terrifying. Terrifying to me. It's petrifying. Yeah, you can't think about it. I do, buddy. The odds are in your favor. The feeling of catching that wave, though, far outweighs it. So when you get on the freeway every day, do you think? Oh, no. Necessity. Necessity, though. Yeah, you have to drive. You got to drive. Every morning when I walk out to the car at, you know, 3.30 in the morning, I'm like, today's the day. Today's the day. Someone's going to jump out. Today's the day. Why would you say that? 3.30. Yeah, that would... At my address, one dryer row. No, no. At about 3.33, 3.34. No. Everyone knows we get up early. Dude, I walk down the dark hallway at my house. I'm like, there's somebody here. I know it. I know he's here. And I'm going to walk right into him. I had my wetsuit hanging in my garage the other day. Yeah. I walked out to go to work, and I'm half asleep. It's 3.30 in the morning. I open the thing, and it's hanging from the garage.

1:21:57And I'm like, oh, my God. The wet side goes, how you doing? Hey, buddy. Hey, dude. How are you, Woods? Killed me. Ashton Kutcher has this to say about himself. You've gotten much higher marks as an entrepreneur than an actor. I think I probably think about me as an actor the way that most people do. Which is to say. Well, which is to say that I'm pretty judgmental about myself as an actor. Are you a good actor? Yeah, I think I'm good. I don't think I'm great. I would hire somebody else to play me in the movie about me. I can't tell you anything about Ashton Kutcher. Nothing. Except I know who he is. I know that he has a lot of followers on Twitter. I know that he sells Nikon cameras on television. And that he was on a TV show called That 70s Show. But I don't think I've ever seen a movie with him in it. And I've never seen That 70s Show. He was pretty good in That 70s Show. You're not missing out on his movies, though. And he's married to Demi Moore. Right? He's a twin, I think. Yes? Yeah. No way. That I did not know. He used to be a model. His name was Chris. Get out of here. For real? Yeah. I wonder if that's how he got discovered. It is how he got discovered. I think he was in L.A. for one day. Yeah. And got the job and then got that 70s show. Yeah, his twin has cerebral palsy. No way. Yeah, I knew that there was something and I just looked it up. Really? Yeah. And he was in town for a day before he got discovered? Really? Yeah. Literally a day? Check it out.

1:23:26That's crazy. I'm a big... Actually, I'm an Ashton Kutcher historian. And this is your hour about Ashton Kutcher. Let's see. Let's see. Who's this? Hello. Hello. What's your name? Sharon. Sharon? Yes. Sharon, what were you calling to say? Well, I was calling to say when you guys were talking about the parachuting, that my first husband, I was a little classic diver, and they have a knife or, you know, like a... Oh, wow. And you know what's interesting about that? Is that if that guy had cut away that parachute, they'd be dead. Well, the second one would have opened all the way then. Well, no, they tried. Well, that's true. I wonder why he didn't do that then. I don't know. Maybe he didn't have time. Maybe couldn't get to the night for something. Could be. But anyway, I just wanted to tell you guys that. Thank you. Oh, look at LOV. Love it. Lauren's got a little Frank Sinatra in her repertoire today. Want to know seven things that you're supposed to stop doing right now on Facebook? They say stop doing this. Bet I do like five of them. You bet you do. Find out next. We got people in the studio today because we have a live studio audience on Friday. And that's who's in the studio. We'll be doing that.

1:24:56Don't go away. I'll tell you all about it next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. FM 94.9 recommended artists Broken Bells coming to Humphreys. Tuesday, May 18th. New band, new sound. Performing songs from their critically acclaimed debut album Broken Bells. Humphrey's Concerts present Broken Bells with special guests, the Morning Benders. Tuesday, May 18th. Tickets available at Ticketmaster.com or at the Humphrey's Box Office. Presented by your San Diego County Lexus dealers. Produced by AEG Live. Relationships can last a lifetime. Like those between people who work and serve together. And even between member and credit union. A relationship with Navy Federal can see cars and homes financed. It can last through deployment with programs designed for active duty through retirement and beyond. It's a relationship between a member with specific needs and the credit union designed to meet them. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. NavyFederal.org. We've made our vehicles dependable, safe, and award-winning. And right now, during the Nissan National Ted Event, we've made them easier to get with great deals on a full line of cars, crossovers, trucks, and SUVs.

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1:29:55We rock everything fresh when you order it, and not a minute sooner. So your meal is always hot, fresh, and delicious. But at those other places, the food sits around and waits for you. And waits, and waits, and waits. Why settle for food that's been hanging around? Come to Pickup Sticks and order from our Dragon Deals value menu, where you choose from six tasty meals like our delicious crispy honey chicken special for just $4.99 each. Pickup Sticks. Our priority is to have you turn over the Iron Man weapon to the American people. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. Critics everywhere are blown away by the number one movie in the world. Rolling Stone raves. Iron Man 2 is a total blast. Robert Downey Jr. is better than ever. Mr. Stark displays textbook narcissism. Agreed. Iron Man 2. Maybe inappropriate. Make sure you're located in St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by USAA. Those who protect our freedom deserve...

1:31:07Freedom from Baking Hassles. Switch to USAA Bank and open a free checking account, USAA.com. We go to a crash causing some slow and go traffic eastbound 56 at Camino del Sur. It looks like it's moved to the shoulder, but traffic a little sluggish as you pass the scene of it. More slow and go northbound 805 from University Out to El Cajon Boulevard. Traffic also brought to you by Caro's Restaurants at Caro's. Your favorite mile-high breakfast now comes with all-you-can-eat pancakes before 11 a.m. So satisfy that mile-high appetite with a mile-high value. Value only at Karo's. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning being brought to you today by Guayaki Yerba Mate, of course. Guayaki Yerba Mate is joining with Jimbo's Naturally Local Markets there to give you a chance to win two rusty surfboards. Each person has a chance to win a single board that is custom-built. to your specs. So stop by Jimbo's, check out the product line from Guayaquil, Yerba Mate, and all the other fine products that Jimbo's naturally carries. Surfwise today, we're naturally seeing an increase in swell out of the southwest, but slow and inconsistent to be sure. Negative low tide this morning also hurting size and shape, so under overcast skies with calm winds for the moment. We're looking at inconsistent waves, and that weighs the chest size zone on average. Top open spots to those set waves are seeing rare...

1:32:36shoulder high waves, maybe even a few pluses on top of that. But again, very selective at those areas. As the tide fills in, look for some improvement across the board. Beach break's kind of broken up lines right now. They can choose corners somewhat closed out. Top stop facing reef areas look cleaner, but again, it's a long wait in between sets. Better things to come. For up to the minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com and look for everything you need in order to go surf. Check out one of South Coast Surf Shouts, five locations. This Sunday only, we're having a Sunova board demo at the Pacific Beach store. And then Burt Burgers can give a nice talk on that technology. So stop by and check it out. The surf report can only be heard three times daily, right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Back to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Rocking it with some Loverboy, man. I don't know if you've ever seen the cover of the Loverboy album that that song is on. The best. Yeah, yeah, it's good. It's called Get Lucky. And it's from the 80s. And all the cover of the album was was a dude with his back to the camera. And so you're seeing his tush in a pair of tight red leather jeans. And he's crossing his fingers behind his back. And what's he said yesterday? He goes, hey, how great would that be for the Mikey show? I go, yeah.

1:34:40It would be really funny to have us take a picture with our muffin tops pouring over the top of our tight red leather jeans. In a heartbeat, I do it. With our fingers crossed behind our back. It's hysterical, actually. I heard you guys talk about muffin tops. Was that just... That's what it was. Yeah, that's what it was. That's what the conversation was. And you're talking about this album? Yeah, this album. Yeah, Mark Malman had sent me a picture of Loverboy to my phone just to be a clown. And I was like, Mike, do you remember the Get Lucky album cover? It's the best. Let's do it. So... Would anybody like to know who won the bet yesterday? Yes, please. Because today at our meet and greet, we are going to have someone paying off a bet, either Woods or Jay. Where is Jay? I don't know. Where is he? There he is. 94.9, Jay. Mikey Show, 6 to 10. So here was the bet. The bet was, who can hit the longest drive between Woodsy and Jay? I wonder who can. I wonder too. Who can hit the longest drive? Because whoever does doesn't have to pay off the bet. The loser is going to have to eat something. Either Woods is going to have to eat Indian food or Jay is going to have to eat veal. Now, Jay hasn't had beef or meat for 22 years. The last time Woods, he had Indian food, he threw up. In the parking lot of the restaurant. Uh-huh, in the parking lot of the restaurant. So at about 6.30 tonight at Hooli's in La Mesa.

1:36:11One of these guys is going to be doing something real terrible for them. I'm so ready. And the loser is... Woodsy lost. Woodsy lost at something. Jay, way to go. I'm a big winner. Jay's a big winner. Wow. Let me tell you something. Jay's a big winner. Jay's a big winner. Jay has... a swing okay he does this thing where he walks up to it and he'll practice two times barely even looks he goes and then he steps up and wham i saw him hit one yesterday and i was like what is dead well woods can hit two though there's more of a story there is a little bit more of a story i you guys know and this is i mean believe me i i don't care i'm not a golfer i suck at golf

1:37:10But when we got on the range yesterday, you know I have my busted finger. You've seen it. My left hand middle finger. And it's black and blue and it's swollen. And it looks like I'm giving Mikey the finger right now. I'm not. Yeah. But it's black and blue. It's swollen. Audience, see that finger? Oh, please. No, I'm serious. Is he making excuses? I'm not. I swear to God I'm not making excuses. But let me tell you what. Let me make an excuse. No, no, no. I stepped up on the driving range. I grabbed my sticks and I took out my wedge. And I put a ball down and I hit one wedge shot. And I go. I'm done. I'm dead. Immediately, I go, yep, shoot. And I grabbed a roll of tape, and I taped it up, and then I grabbed my driver out. And I hit a drive, pretty decent drive, and my thumb just started going, or my fingers started going, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I'm like, I'm dead. I ate, I went to my car, I ate three Advil. I had a Vicodin in my pocket. I was like, I'm going to lose this bet, and I'm going to have to eat Indian food. I would have shot an injection of cortisone into it if I thought it would help me. Did it hurt so bad? And I was like, well, I'm going to still gut it out and try to do it. I didn't complain about it. I didn't bitch about my finger, really. I would shake my hand a little bit. Isn't that what you're doing right now? But it hurt. No, not at all. Not at all. I'm pretty sure you're doing that right now. I got beat fair and square. Now, I got to tell you, I'll tell you this. What's he can smash that clown? Well, you were smashing it yesterday. You were both smashing it. Yep. You were both smashing it. So we didn't even tell anybody.

1:38:36We didn't tell anybody when we were doing it. No, because we knew Mikey and Chris would give us grief in the background, so we came up to the fifth hole. We came to the fifth, and I go, we had four holes to warm up, and we were both hitting them pretty good. I mean, my first drive and my second shot were great. Yours were. I hit the ball straight up in the air, and it almost came back down and landed on top of me. Well, I said at the 15th hole, I go, hey, hey, hey, you guys, you got to do your bet within the next three holes, and they said we already did it. We already did it. And I was like, are you kidding? It was because we rode in the car together. And I was like, all right, dude, let's get this thing over with. And I was like, we both said neither of us have slept a wink. I was driving to work this morning retching like in my hand. I was like, I'm going to I'm going to puke. So what kind of Indian food do you think? I don't know. And I told Jay, I go, listen, get get some Indian food. Bring it tonight. I lost. I will wear it. I will take it like a man. I'll vomit down my shirt. You had to tell him that? I don't think you had to tell him that. I think he already knew. You lost. Oh, no, I lost. There was no confirmation. Jay, maybe you don't worry about it. Jay, you're in charge. Maybe you sit tonight out. I'm in charge. You're in charge. Now, Jay, are you going to be cool and try to get him at least good Indian food? There's no such thing. There's no such thing. That's an oxymoron. Let's recap on what I was going to have to eat. Bloody veal. Delicious. So, yeah.

1:39:59I don't really see myself being really cool about this. Yeah, you're the one who go, bloody the better, huh? Really? Mm-hmm. I can't wait. I can't wait. Do you remember what you ate the only other time you've had Indian food when you threw up? I don't know. Some chicken with some poison on it. I don't know. It was repulsive. Poisoned chicken. I think it was chicken covered in doo-doo, I think is what it was. Gotta be beef. No, I don't want beef. Yeah. No. Chicken. All right, get a beef now. Some sort of chicken. Get a beef now. Beef. Well, it's tonight. And if you want to see this happen right in front of your eyes, who leaves tonight? We're doing our meet and greet. We'll all be there. And you'll get the new Mikey Show sticker. And it's going to be really awesome. We're going to be there from 5 to 7. I can't wait. I can't wait. So let me tell you. Things like this are exciting. On the fifth hole, I go, all right, dude, we've had four holes. Let's man up. Let's do this now. And it's wide open down the middle. I was like. This is the one. And he looked at me. He's like, yeah, this is it. This is it. So who went first? Me? I think it was me. It was me. Yeah, Jay goes first, and he quacked, and I mean right down the middle. And I was like, okay, you've seen my drives. I hit them long, but they slice. I step into one, and I drill it. And I'm watching the ball. It literally hit a tree and shot 90 degrees the other way across the fairway, and I was 20 yards short of him. I was like, oh, my God. I just figured something out in my head. What?

1:41:25Every single hole, they would say to each other, every time one of them hit the ball, they would say to each other, that a kid. They would say that to each other. Yeah, that a boy. And I know exactly where you're talking about because they didn't say anything. No, not a word. Not a word. They both made drives. When he hit it, I threw up my mouth. And I thought to myself, it's kind of not nice because what's he's usually like going, there you go, kid, get it. Is that a kid? They're a kid and giving each other support. And same thing, when Woodsy hit his drive, Jay was quiet. I remember me and CB were like, there you go. There you go, Woodsy. Silence. Silence from both of them. And of course, I mean, I live in the trees. I live in the trees and then off to the side. And yeah, Woods. Fair enough. That ball, that ball. I'm thinking had it hit the ground and kept rolling, I probably would have gotten him. But it literally hit like a stump and just kicked 90 degrees the left. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to eat this crap. When he hit the tree, a bird flew out. At first, we both thought it was the bird. It was the ball. We're like, oh, what happened here? What happened? Hey, I'll wear it like a man. That's fine. I lost.

1:42:37I lost fair and square. You had to put the caveat of your finger in there. Hey, this hurts. Couldn't just let that slide. I've got to confess. That hurts. He is a better golfer, I think, overall. He's played more. Well, maybe if you had checked. Did you see that? If you had gone golfing and sitting there earlier in the week. Okay, I'll be showing you her messed up finger. Did you see that? If you had gone earlier in the week, you maybe would have known. It would have hurt more. Flicking each other off. Yeah, do you see that? No, they're showing each other. Put your middle fingers down. No, they're showing each other how their fingers are hurt. My fingers hurt. But are you seeing your back's going to hurt? Yeah. I'm going to kick it. We'll be there tonight. It's going to be great. Tonight you'll see it. Look at that. I don't like that. No, but I don't like when people give the finger. It scares me. Sienna, seven things to stop doing now on Facebook. What are they? Leaving your full birth date in your profile. Really? Yeah. You do that? Yep. My birthday. My birthday's there minus the year. Yeah. Oh, I think it's all. That women don't want, especially women. I don't care about that yet, but it says the ideal target for identity thefts is they can find out your full birthday and they could get information about you and potentially gain access to your bank account or credit card information through your birthday. One for one. What else? Overlooking useful privacy controls. I mean, for almost everything in your Facebook profile, you can limit access to just your friends, your family. So make sure you do that because...

1:43:58I feel like Facebook should be held liable if they have you putting stuff on there that could put you at risk. No, because it's your choice. I know, but it's their website. Why are they allowing it? You don't have to put it up there. Why are they allowing... Well, not just that, but why are they... They give you controls to change it, and now I'm two for two. Maybe they gave people the benefit of the doubt and didn't think that thieves would go pilfering through. Yeah, but you could have a picture up of some really hot girl, and guys are checking her out, and she's standing in front of her house with her address right behind her, you know? Can I... Take you behind the curtain of my brain. Pull back. Please. I've been, I'm paying attention. In fact, I find this interesting. You know that. You know that this is the kind of stuff that I find interesting. Yeah. Do you know that the whole time that you've been telling this story and even throughout the show, in my mind, I see the different holes that we were on yesterday as we were playing golf in a very pleasant way. Like it's a very pleasant thought to me. It's like little birds chirping around my head in circles. I see it in my head, and I really had so much fun. I cannot hit a golf ball, but I had so much fun. And I'm even thinking to myself right now, imagine if I could hit it straight. Imagine what fun that would be if I could hit a golf ball straight. I know. Because I can't. It's so frustrating. But I think I really want to do that more because of how relaxing it was and how much fun I had. Yeah.

1:45:23Being out on the course with your boys and not caring, that's the fun part. If you get too serious, that's when golf sucks. Not enough fun in my life. I need to do that. We didn't want to make a big deal out of our bet because Jay and I are friends and one of us was going to pay and it's going to be good for everybody to watch except for me. It's the worst night of my life is coming tonight. The worst. You've had a pretty good life then. I've had some bad nights. Tonight's going to suck. Just wanted to take you into my brain how it works. You know, exactly how my mind works as the show goes on today. I'll find it interesting. I love doing the show. I enjoy it. I'm going to be thinking about that golf course yesterday. How much more fun, too, is it to play a round of golf than to go to the driving range? Oh, absolutely. And now I want to watch golf on TV. It's a trip. I know. It's a trip because I've seen golf now, and now I have an appreciation. For how hard that is. That's real hard. That ain't easy. What else, Jenna? Okay, back to the seven things to stop doing now on Facebook. Yeah. Posting your child's name in a caption. Don't do that. No children. Don't do it. You don't? No. Well, no. But they say don't do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:46:44Because? It's kind of, just because it's, you know. Because of creepers? Yeah, because of creepers. You don't want, because someone can see that, oh, that's so-and-so's child. If they ever recognize them, they would know their name. They would call them. The child would think that you knew them. Dude, that's right. It's just really scary. So, everybody knows all of our kids' names. Well, that's what I was just thinking. I paused and I was like, ugh. But they don't know what they look like. Yeah. I guess I could see it on the website. Because you have pictures of your kids on Facebook. Yeah. I mean, it just... But I know that, like, especially with infants, they're going to outgrow that pretty quickly. Yeah. You know what I mean? And so, you know, it changes. And the pictures that I have of, like, newborn, infant, stuff like that, that kind of deal. It's a whole list, like, siblings, children. Oh, their names. And their names. Yeah, they will. Yeah. Plus, I put... Glasses with mustaches on. Prosthetic noses. Prosthetic noses. And if there are any dog creepers out there, you'll have a field day at my page. Yeah. And then you will get killed by me. Yeah. Another thing to stop doing now on Facebook. So many people do this. And it's like, what are you thinking? What is it? Saying that you're going to be away from home. That you're going out of town. Yeah. I do that. You shouldn't. But it's like putting a sign on your door saying, no one's home. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

1:48:02You got to be really careful. You got to be really careful. I'm thinking about just deleting my Facebook now. Maybe just get Todd one. No, he doesn't. Don't worry. Woods and I will make him one later today. He doesn't need one. I already got the... The little preliminary sketch. Yeah. We've got it all laid out. We've got the page layout. Todd the God in exploding pink neon. Right. He doesn't need that. Watch him get way more friends than me. Like, jerk. Yeah, all the ladies from back in the day. Stop it. That's what you're making her crazy with. Another thing to stop doing now on Facebook, letting search engines find you. You can prevent strangers from accessing your page. If you go to the search section. of Facebook's privacy controls and select only friends for Facebook search results and just be sure that the box for public search results isn't checked. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. Yeah, because if you're interviewing for a job or you put something on Craigslist, something like that, they have your name, they start creeping. Can I tell you guys something? As a former recruiter, number one, I get a resume from Lauren O'Brien in San Diego, California.

1:49:07Good thing there's 800. Number one thing I do, straight to Facebook. Yeah. Every time. Because there was a guy that we were going to hire, and we were going to hire him as a manager. Big, heavy position. And we went to his Facebook and his MySpace, and his MySpace profile was, I like to party with drunk-ass bitches. Really? Yep. And I looked at him and I go, Well, you're done. Yeah. Just like that. Thanks for applying. Think about what you're putting up there and think about who's looking at it. Yeah, job people do. I remember reading about high school coaches for sports teams and stuff. They check out their players' pages and see what they're up to. Just, you know, don't put too much stuff on there. Keep it limited. Somebody will be sniffing around. Yeah, and everything you put on the internet, it lasts forever. Even if you delete it, there's... Cash pages. Sure. And the last thing to stop doing on Facebook right now is permitting young kids to use Facebook unsupervised. Apparently, you're 13 is the age you can get Facebook, but there's people that are younger that are on Facebook. And if you have a child, just, you know, check it out. Make sure you're friends with them on Facebook so you can see their profile. Hire an internet babysitter and their whole job is just to come over and look over the shoulder of your kid while they're on Facebook.

1:50:20It really creeps me out to see my cousins and stuff on there. And then, like, they're getting older. And they're, like, 18, 19, 20. And they're, like, saying, like, F-bombs. And, like, one of them will say, like, an F-bomb on there. And I'm, like. It creeps you out, right? Yeah. Because I know my dad's on there. My mom's on there. And it's just, like. Pictures of them with beers. With beers and stuff. And you're, like. It's really creepy. Does your dad ever jam them up and go, hey, what are you talking about? No. My dad didn't mess with them. No? No. 570. One ninety four nine is our number. Nine four nine Mikey at Gmail dot com. So you get a hold of us by text message. And oh, by the way, food this morning is delicious and provided by Urban Solace. Matt, come over here in the microphone. Let me talk to you for a second. Matt is the owner and executive chef, right? Co-owner. Yes. Co-owner and executive chef. Really, really delicious food. And you've got something going on this weekend that people can actually sample the food, right? That's right. What's going on? We have the North Park Festival of the Arts on Sunday from 10 to 6. It's on University Avenue from 30th, like all the way down to 32nd Street. A lot of things going on. Most importantly for us, the craft beer block. Right.

1:51:29We have like 60 microbreweries out there, local craft breweries. Nice. And then 10 of the local restaurants serving samples of the food that we all specialize in in our restaurant. So I think pretty much every restaurant from the North Park 30th Street corridor there will be out there with a table, with food, drinking beer, having fun. Whoa. kind of food do you enjoy making how would you categorize the food at urban solace urban solace is uh sort of a new take on a lot of things that you might have grown up with american comfort food revisited uh spun up a little bit and and hopefully like you can't make it home that's very good my restaurant Those biscuits? You going to bring the biscuits with you? You got to come to the restaurant for the biscuits. Those biscuits are ridiculous. Everything is so good. Really delicious food. And yeah, they're going to be out there. A lot of bands. Performance is going on. And it's going to be a good time. And so come on out there. Check it out. University and Iowa Street.

1:52:27is where you can park. There's free parking in a garage all day and they have bike valet at University and Iowa Street if you want to go out there for that part with your bikes and that kind of deal. Arts demonstrations. Sounds like it's going to be a good time. It's fun. This will be our third year participating in the festival and it's just a lot of people out there. Really good time. Really great neighborhood street fair for people to come to. Very cool, man. Thank you. You're welcome. Let's see. LB's picking the music today. Little Killers. Tonight, Woodsy will be eating Indian food. I guess you can't win them all, can you, pal? You can't win them all, buddy. There is a Ecoli deal out there right now. Don't know if you know about it. When we come back, I'm going to be telling you about whether or not the lettuce that you're eating right now is all right. I'll tell you how you'll know. Oh, man, this is wild. This thing that we're going to be talking about. Have you guys seen the seven-year-olds dancing to Beyonce? Oh, my God. It's crazy. Disgusting. We'll talk about it. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar.

1:54:02Good show tonight at the Birch North Park Theater. The Album Leaf are playing with Seawolf. So go there and see the show. Okay. Broken Bells are in town Tuesday night. They'll play at Humphreys this Tuesday the 18th. It's all ages. Midas the Bear are playing Soma on the 22nd. And the National play the Spreckles Theater on the 23rd. Not a Surfer playing at the Belly Up on the 24th. That show is 21 and up. Friday, May 28th. Dirty Sweet, Transfer, Silent Comedy, and Apes of Rap. That's all happening at the Birch North Park Theater. And Wolf Mother just announced a show August 21st at House of Blues. So there you have it. Get out there. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM 94.960.com. Good things come to those who wait. And if you've been waiting to save on that special dealer demo, now you can. The BMW Encinitas demo sales drive is back.

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1:56:33Hey, everybody, come check out Old Navy's grand opening party, Saturday, May 15th at the Santee Trolley Square. Doors open at 9 a.m. Bring the whole family. No purchase necessary. One name tag for a customer. Yeah, we all have our own way of saying welcome. We shake hands. We bake pies. We high five. From Lake Elsinore to La Jolla to Anaheim to Port Wyneme. Wachovia is now Wells Fargo in Southern California, and we'd like to welcome everybody in our own way, with more bank locations, more ATMs, more online capabilities, and great customer service, with the promise of strength and stability that goes back over 150 years. Welcome means we're with you in more ways to help you reach your financial goals. It means taking the time to get to know you, to understand your financial situation.

1:57:31Welcome means working with you to be a part of the community. So stop by Wells Fargo today. We'll shake hands, maybe high five, and have a talk about your financial goals. Welcome to Wells Fargo. Together we'll go far. Thank you to your sandwich. What's lurking under the bread? What's hiding under the sauce? What's buried beneath the lettuce? What are many sandwich chains and fast food places covering up? Cheap chicken. Bits of chicken that have been ground up and mixed with seaweed extract, soy and fat and made to look like real chicken breast. How do you think they make chicken? Does the chicken they put in sandwiches make you nervous? Well, some of it should. How do you protect yourself? Insist the chicken in your sandwich is boar's head ever roast. Ever roast is fresh sliced chicken breast.

1:58:31The highest quality you can buy. Slow roasted the old-fashioned way. And basted in its own juices. Boar's Head Ever Roast. It may be the best roast chicken ever. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium products at select supermarkets. The Home Depot has made a special buy on Bonnie vegetables and herbs. Four and five inch pots are just $2.98 each. Plants you can eat. A great way to fill your garden and your family. With juicier tomatoes, crispier carrots, zestier zucchini. Since you're growing them all yourself, you'll spend less money filling your cart this summer. Thanks to Bonnie Vegetables and Herbs, now just $2.98. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Don't just aim from the top. Start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. 60 days. Start there. A lot can happen in 60 days. You can plant some tomatoes and watch them bloom. Make a new friend. Add that final touch of genius to your screenplay. And now, 60 days is how much time you have to get the Lexus of your dreams at the 60 to Zero Certified Pre-Owned Sales Event.

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2:01:17Very first one hit the grill in 1948. Fresh, made to order with only the highest quality ingredients. In and out, that's what a hamburger is all about. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. The Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. I start making love. I don't just make love. I be stroking. That's what I be doing. Clarence Carter? Who's Clarence Carter? Sings a song. You've never heard this song before? Never. Really? You've never heard that. Somebody's pushing the envelope today real good. Making Little Cubby lose his mind. Maybe you send me the list before we... Talk about paint. Is he really? Was this the edit? Because if you listen for another 30 seconds, you know he's not talking about paint.

2:02:28Look it, Lauren just looked over at me like she's listening to another radio show. He doesn't say anything that's FCC violating. She just looked over at me right now like she's got her iPod on. She's like bopping. She's bopping. Like nothing's wrong. Yeah, nothing to see here. Trust me, I listened to the whole thing to make sure there was no dirty words. Were you cleaning the apartment when you did that? No, but I was going like this. You were shuffling? Yep. I love it. Okay. Envelope pusher. Bitmaker. Line crosser. Line crosser. Time waster. Mattress turner. Oh, wow. So, all right, so we're going to get to the seven-year-old thing here in just a second. It's a crazy story. If you haven't seen it is what it's really about. Yeah. Forget hearing about it. It's a crazy thing. E. coli right now. There's another E. coli outbreak. And where do they say it's coming from, Sienna? Well, we talked about this, I believe it was yesterday. Right now there's a recall on romaine lettuce involving companies that distribute to wholesale and food service outlets. So just stay away from the romaine. A couple days ago they were saying the bagged lettuce is fine. What are you going to do, Lauren? I had a romaine lettuce salad last night. Oh, wow. Did you? Out of a bag. Weird.

2:03:47I don't eat Romanian lettuce. I eat American only. That's what you're supposed to do. The E. coli has sickened 23 people in four states from this romaine lettuce poisoning. No deaths have been reported. But I don't know. I would just stay away. They're saying, look, don't even buy the bagged lettuce. Don't order romaine lettuce in restaurants. Best thing to do if you want to reduce risk, just buy whole lettuce and cut it yourself. Of course. Why are we still talking about this? This happened a year and a half ago with bagged spinach, dude. We don't all have gardens in our backyard, dude. Some of us would have no idea how to make a salad if it wasn't for bagged lettuce. For real? Yeah, dude. Can I tell you, though? I went to Trader Joe's. Weird. They didn't have the head of romaine. And against my better judgment, because we reported, or Sienna reported on this story a little while ago, I was like, just get it. Get the bag. It was the romaine hearts, at least, not the little chopped up bits. But still, it came in a bag and it creeped me out. Yeah. But dude, it's so good. It's got the little sliced up carrots and radishes. It's got everything you need in there. I don't like that, man.

2:04:54I don't like that. Sorry, it's not taco salad. Really? Is that right? The bacteria has been traced back to the lettuce that was harvested in Yuma, Arizona. Perfect. Gross. It's not far from here. Can I tell you why it gets it? It's the last time that it happened, it came out of Salinas. And they said that there was... Anything for Salinas. Yes. Every time I hear that, I think that. Came out of Salinas. And apparently there were some hogs. In the area. And the hogs were making what hogs make after they eat. You're wrong. No, I'm not. You're wrong. I'm not. I know why it gets E. coli. Why? Mexicans spitting seeds on it. No. That's why. That's not why. Yes, it is. It isn't, Sienna. It's not because they're spitting seeds on it. That's not what I thought was. These hogs were going to the bathroom. Gross. Spraying onto the lettuce. I know. Come on, man. I've got to eat Indian food later. You're already messing me up. I'm sick. It's a true fact. Let's make him an Indian food salad with romaine lettuce. Oh, my God. I'm sick. Yeah. Yum, yum, yum. Open up. And there will still be people. How do they not take it off all grocery store shelves? Maybe they do, but it's already in my refrigerator.

2:06:22It's out there. And my belly. Can I ask ladies a question? Let me ask the ladies a question. I say ladies because I know that this does not apply to me, Woods, or Jay. What? Because it's always ladies that get salad when you go out. Right? It usually is. Jay gets salad. Yeah, does he? He gets pear and walnut salad. I do. With craisins? With craisins and endives, whatever those are. Now, this is my question. There are some people who do not mind. Taking a salad home and eating it the next day. That's repulsive. Repulsive to me. Unless you have dressing on the side. Still. Still. Oh, see, I'm fine with dressing on the side. I don't like when you take the salad home and it gets that refrigerator tang on it. Where does your salad normally come from? They chop it up, and then they put it on your plate, and they give it to you. But it's been in the refrigerator there for a couple days. Yeah, but you don't know about it. It hasn't been cut from the actual merchandise. Have you ever had it where I've tried it before, and then the refrigerator must be turned up too high or whatever, and the lettuce, because it's made up of a lot of water, is like icy. Yes, it's icy salad. It's repulsive. It dries, man.

2:07:41It turns a little bit brown. If it looks gross, you're not going to eat it. Oh, man. But sometimes it's fine. I see things biting into it. Like, I had a piece of cheesecake the other day. Weird. Weird. And I bit into it, and it was like... And I was like, yeah! It was so gross. Dude, I know women that will take a salad out of the refrigerator, and they'll open up the styrofoam, and the salad will have that... It's only been in there for 12 hours, but it'll have that little brown... tinge to it. It's got the little brownness around the edge and I look at it and I go, that's the filthiest thing I've ever seen in my life. And there will be a lemon wedge in there too because they threw that in. And they'll take the lemon wedge and they'll squeeze it all over their fridge salad. That's what I call it. Sounds delicious. It's a fridge salad. Oh, it's... Gross. Now, when you say you know women who do this, do you mean you know woman who does this? I know woman who does this. I would do it, too. What I've done before, if you do notice the brown, sometimes you just scrape off the top layer. Oh, come on. And then you see that it's all good underneath. Oh. Repulsive. What? The next day, there's no dressing. There's two groups of people, Sienna. There's no dressing. There's that girl, and there's the rest of us that go, I ain't touching that. It gets all deflated. It once was like a fluffy, delicious, refreshing salad, and then it's like.

2:08:56You know why? Because it's turning into compost for you. Yeah, it's wilty. Yeah, because you're supposed to fertilize your garden with it. Yeah, it's like melding together. Instead of like a tomato and lettuce, it's like to lettuce. Yeah, it's to lettuce. Lamedo. Yeah. In fact, I saw a turtle yesterday. It was like, that's filthy. That's gross. I'm not going to eat that. I'm not going to eat that. Some fresh stuff. You mind? Did you have the turtle when you were growing up? Did you give the turtle the little carrots? Wild turtle. We had iguanas. You did? Yeah. Isn't it a trip when you give them the little stuff? Anyway, sorry. Got a little... When they eat them, it is funny to watch. Seven-year-olds are dancing to Beyonce. What song? I'm a single artist. I'm a single artist. I'm a single artist. Now, I know that that doesn't... If I say seven-year-olds are dancing to Beyonce, most people go, that's cute. That's cute. What's wrong with that? Because they're in burlesque outfits and they look like strippers. They're in stripper outfits. And they're doing the full-on choreographed, like, shaking the booty deal. It's the... creepiest. Yep. They do, at one point, they, like, drop to the floor, like, flat on the ground and, like, get up real provocatively. Yeah, provocative. It's just like, like, I couldn't even do that. Well, the whole thing is sex, provocative, sexy, you know, and it, honestly, is this another indication that at 39, I'm an old guy? Is that it? I'm the same way, dude. You're 34, right? Yeah, and I'm disgusted.

2:10:22How old are you, L.O.B.? I'm 29, but a couple years ago, I went to a street fair, and there was, like, 10-year-olds dancing to Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You, and they were wearing boxer shorts and tank tops, not as provocative as that, and pointing the you at people in the audience. What's the thought behind the boxer shorts and the tank top? Like, if you're the adult putting this together, this cute little routine together, like, I know, we'll do boxer shorts and tank tops, but somebody has to go, How come boxer shorts and tank tops? It's like you just woke up for Christmas morning, maybe. Is that it? I think so. But they were like rolled up to be shorter and they were Christmas colors and they were going, you know, and pointing. And I was like, what am I watching? Creeper. Yeah, it's a creepers. Creeper's ball. Yeah, creeper's ball. Yeah, I look at the guy in the audience by himself with his, like, hands folded, shaking his head yes. I'm like, really? Yeah. Creeper's ball. Yeah, the guy standing there with no company, he doesn't have anybody with him. You're like, what are you doing here? Is your daughter up there or are you a creep? And get that thing off your ankle. Get out of here. Yeah, creep. Dude, there's a whole subculture of this.

2:11:29It's called Crazy Mothers. It's crazy mother syndrome is one. But there's a documentary. You ever seen that documentary about the pageant girls? Yeah, it's disgusting. Oh, yeah. My God. Crazy. Yeah, that's it. It's crazy. Well, these girls, some of them are six years old, too. Six and seven year olds. What's the thinking? Maybe somebody calls us right now. You go, oh, I've seen it. It's no big deal. Really? 570-1949. We'll all not fillet you. Even the people that are in the studio, they have their jaws dropped open because they saw it. It came on the TV here. Listen, it's really outrageous. It's not outrageous. It's disgusting, dude. It's repulsive. They're mimicking that music video. When that music video came out with Beyonce and her girls in it, my brother-in-law was like, did you guys see the new, he goes, it's the sexiest thing I've seen to date. And so she's obviously selling sex in that, like, hey, look at me and imagine things. So to have seven-year-olds replicate that. Beyonce is actually wearing more clothes than these girls are. Yeah, exactly. In her video. So gross. These girls, they did it at a World of Dance performance.

2:12:40And just to describe, if you haven't seen it, it's red and black is their little outfits. And they have bras on with black lace. They're red bras. They're little red booty shorts, like the boy shorts that girls wear. Booty shorts. I mean booty shorts. With black lace on top of them. They have black knee highs on. I am, you know, from the rap community. I can explain what booty shorts are. Yeah, you are. You have a lot of street cred. I mean, they all have the same hairstyle. to their shoulders and then some little bow in their hair, makeup on. I mean, they're wearing choker necklaces. It's bad. That's what I'm saying. M1 Ben from La Mesa. Are you there? Yeah, it's M1 Dan. How you doing? Good. I got two girls, five and seven. One of them, my older one, was in dance and they made him wear some outfit. And I was like, oh, no. That's not going to happen. And I headed out and would be... choreographers the choreographers that are you know think oh we're gonna make these hot little girls you know i'm like nah it ain't gonna happen so my girls haven't been in dance for a year now and i'm just you know i don't know what to do because they want to do it now when you say choreographer are you talking about someone that is a kid themselves is the choreographer like a teenager no they're well the assistant usually is a teenager and then the person that's in charge is usually some

2:14:07older ladies who couldn't make it. And that's my perception of a lot of these dance teachers. And I'm sure that somebody will be out there calling on, that's not right. But I'll tell you what, I've had a couple of them and they both are that way. And I've got little girls that I'm trying to keep, you know, you can dance, you can sing, you can do all that. Their aunt is a well-known artist, but I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to sit there and go, hey. You know, I'm accepting this because it's the norm. It's a travesty. I mean, these are little girls. Thank you. Yeah, good for you for pulling them out of that. For sure, Dan. I want to know who the aunt is. Who the aunt is? Yeah. This is a well-known artist. Yeah? I want to know. I think he said well-known for a reason to not be... Maybe I want to know, though. Yeah, maybe the kid wants to know what's going on. You get a private message. M1 Valerie from Coronado. Yeah, hi. I have a 14-year-old daughter, and about five years ago, a bunch of parents and myself boycotted Target because they had all these really provocative outfits influenced by Britney Spears. You mean provocative outfits for little kids? For little girls. That's creepiness. And then within a couple years, Target got a few more demure outfits. But my daughter's 14 now in high school.

2:15:30And the girls in high school identified slutty girls by the way they dress. And those are the girls that are, you know, they have a whole category for them. Those are the girls that were dressed in that way when they were eight, nine. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, hey, listen, when I, back in the 70s, I just don't, stuff like this happened. It was crazy. I mean, it would have been considered crazy. Dude, yeah, I told you. I grew up in Connecticut where you had to wear a turtleneck if you were a girl. That was a bit. Like, you were born with a turtleneck on. Plenty left to the imagination back then. M1 Swale from Ramona. Is it Swale? Yeah, P1 Swale. Hi, Mikey. Hi, how are you? I'm doing good, thanks. I saw that video yesterday with my 16-year-old son and my 13-year-old daughter, and we were shocked. And I thought to myself, this is child pornography, and those parents, something needs to happen. That's just ridiculous. I haven't heard anything about the parents. I haven't heard the parents talking or anything. Nothing. Have you heard anything about the parents, Will? I have not. Yeah, I bet they're afraid, right? I bet they're afraid that if they say, yes, my kid, people flam. I bet they think, like, well, you're the one that's a pervert, if you think like that. Yeah. This is just a costume. Really? This is just easy for them to move, and it's fancy and frill. Easy for them to move. Yeah. I mean, it's the craziest thing. And Lauren is 100% right.

2:16:54The rationale has always been. You know, same thing was said when you see the girls in the pageants. Oh, yeah. When you see the little girls in the pageants. Toddlers in tiaras. That's the name of the show. It's so scary. Yeah, and parents have the same rap on it. The parents of those little girls go, you are the one with issues if you sexualize this at all. You're the one with issues. Yeah, I don't know that I'm the one with issues if they're wearing booty shorts. And bikinis at five years old. And bras. And you're putting, gluing fake eyelashes on them at the age of two. Right. And taking them spray tanning. Mm-hmm. No. They got the fake teeth that go in. Yeah, like veneers. You should see that documentary if you haven't seen it. It's sad. It's really sad. No, there's a show called Toddlers in Tiaras. And there's a documentary, too, that you cannot turn away. You're looking at these parents and you want to grab them by the back of their head. And you're like, really? And they're screaming at their kid. Screaming. And their kids are three and four years old. Classic. That's a classic deal of like, I didn't do it in high school. Yeah, vicariously. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The vicarious living. Trippy, creepy, weird. And sad. Yeah. We got a email and the person said, please don't even read my email. So I won't. I'll just.

2:18:16bring up the topic of it okay and then people can tell me what they think but the overall topic was would you wear an engagement ring that was not that was somebody had bought for somebody else oh are you kidding me you mean like used on a previous fiance yes but something happened to that relationship and they're very happy to be with you and they'd and but it was a very expensive Not in a million years. No way. I don't know. I think Lauren wants to think it over. No. Lauren had a look on her face like that was the worst thing in the world. Sienna too, right? Oh, it is the worst thing in the world. It's the worst thing in the world. How could you ever give that to me? You don't tell him. That's disgusting. You don't tell him. You're a disgusting human being. This person found out. You don't tell him. The person that wrote it, and I hope I'm not saying too much. Just go tell him, pal.

2:19:11Honesty is not always the best policy in that case. Look at these girls. They are ready to attack, both of them. First of all, the truth will always prevail. Will it? It'll come out, right? It will. Will it find a receipt? It's not a little white lie. It's a big one. What if somebody's dumb? What if somebody's dumb and they make a mistake? What about it's like it's your friend and your friend's name is, you know, Gasbar. Okay. That's a great name. I like that guy. That's what I just thought up. Gasbar. Gasbar. How about Rob? Yeah, how about Steve? Steve. Mike. Mike. Jay. What if your friend Gasbar? What is wrong with you, Mike? I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

2:20:04There's a million names. What about Jeff? Gaspar is much more interesting. Don't most of us have a friend named Gaspar? No. Maybe in our imaginary world. I know, Gaspar. From Neptune? Yeah. The Gaspar? Rock the Gaspar. Yeah, rock the Gaspar. Anyway, let's say that your friend is over at your place because you're having a little get-together. And it's about 11.30 at night. The music's playing. Everybody's having a couple of pops. And he goes, oh, my God, is this Stephanie's ring? Yeah. Yep. Totally can happen. Happen to me. And she goes, what? He goes, nope. And he goes like this. Nope. Hand over the mouth. Nope. That'll solve it, right? Nope. Old loose lips. If any of my friends know what a ring looks like, then I may have given a... previous girl, that would be a miracle. Somebody knows. It had to be a girlfriend. Somebody knows. I think that if Mike saw a ring that a guy was going to give, you would remember. Some guys remember. I would remember. It's a diamond cut. I even think Woods. It's a princess cut. No, I wouldn't. Trust me. I don't know what any of my friends' fiancés or things look like. I have no idea. But you better not. What if he just said it in jest and then the person Woods was like,

2:21:26Why would you say that? Why would you do it? He's like, dude, I was just kidding. Like you're crazy. I didn't do that. Wouldn't me. Wouldn't me. First of all, if you were the soon to be fiance, wouldn't you know if he was maybe engaged before or if he had asked before? I just. Not if he was Woods. I don't know. You can't do that. If I ever found out. that someone did that, like if Todd had done that, I would have thought about ending it. Really? Yeah. Let's talk through it. Let's talk through it. Because maybe you ladies are being too hasty here. Yeah, I thought that love was the most important thing in a relationship, not a friggin' ring. Well, I know that immediately you... That's the symbol of love. Immediately, though, you're reacting. Let's talk through it. Let's talk it out. Okay. You guys, yes, it was owned before. Who is he marrying? Oh, stop it. He's marrying you. Yeah. And you're supposed to be better, the better one. You are. Of course. So why is he giving you hand-me-downs? That's why he's marrying you. Yeah. He didn't want to sell it. He couldn't get maximum value for it. Sorry, man. What if Rebecca was dating Gaspar? Gaspar? Gaspar. And she bought him a pair of slippers and he goes, not my thing. And she goes, okay, I'm just going to tuck those away. A couple of years later, gives a pair of slippers to you.

2:22:51You love them. You're walking around the house, nude, just slippers on, holding your laptop, holding your laptop. And you're like, she's like, oh, by the way, Gaspar didn't like those. I'm glad you did. You would leave your body. No. You would lose your mind. Would you? Yes. And those are slippers. What? Those are slippers. Imagine, yeah, multiply that by a million and you have an engagement ring. I've got it. So what if it's your grandmother's ring and you propose to someone else before? That's a little different. Is it? It's a family heirloom. Really? What if his fiancee passed away? It's a little different as well. No, I still want a new one. It's different. I want a new one. Lauren O'Brien. What? Your boyfriend gets down on one knee. Really? He gets down on one knee, proposes to you, puts his beautiful ring on your finger. Is it fantasy land we're talking about here? Just follow me here. And you find out that this belonged to an ex. And you flip out, but he goes, but wait, but wait. It's actually a family heirloom. You see, that was from my grandmother. Yes, I gave it to Stephanie. I said, maybe you give it to your little brother to pass on. See, that's what I'm saying. Maybe your little brother keeps it in the family.

2:24:18It's a material world, and we are material girls. That's true. I would rather have a piece of a ring made out of aluminum foil that didn't belong to somebody. Sure you would. It always goes to the eldest son. Yeah. Giving you a piece of aluminum foil. It doesn't always. That would go over well. Hey, I got this out of a gum ball machine, but I just really love you. I have this $50,000 ring that I bought for the last girl. I really can't afford it because I couldn't get maximum price. I'm going to give you this foil ring. Are you sold? Well, maybe I don't date the guy that had a last girl. Really? So you're finding a virgin man? Yeah, you're going to find a virgin man. No, I mean that. A virgin man. No, they gave her ring to the last girl. Yeah, a virgin man. Hey, if there's any virgin man out there. There are. It's a material world, pal. I'll show you the way. Yeah. I would take real good. The ring is not the most important thing. It's just not. It shouldn't be. It isn't, of course. It shouldn't be. It isn't. It's not. It isn't. But the sentiment is... You're still getting a ring. Okay, but if you already put a lot of thought into something for somebody else, then all you're saying is, well, I already have it. What thought did you put into it for the new person? So, all right, let me ask you this. So he buys this ring and he spent $10,000 on it. Okay. Stephanie cheats on Gaspar, okay, and he ends the relationship. And he has this ring. Goes to the pawn shop. Really? For a 20th of a month's worth? No, this is what you do.

2:25:39You can keep the stone, which is still annoying, but it's excusable. And you redesign it to fit that girl that you like. Now, see, that is a plausible explanation. I think a diamond is a diamond is a diamond, right? I mean, and you paid good money for that diamond. Use it. Yeah, but Sienna's right. Different setting, different ring. Sure, why not? Can I walk through an exercise? Let's do it. Let's exercise. Let's do an exercise real quick. Squats? Yeah, we're going to do an exercise. Calisthenics? Lauren? I've given you an engagement ring, and you talked to a friend of mine who didn't recognize it. He just knew the story, and on mistake, he let you know. Oh, yeah. And so you're coming to me to ask me about it, and you're pretty fuming. You're upset, and you ask me. Let's walk through this exercise. What would you say? So, found it a little interesting tidbit today. Mm-hmm. That ring. Your ring.

2:26:40Had Stephanie like that ring? Oh. Oh. You found out that... Yeah, yeah. Your friends are idiots. Yeah. When were you going to tell me? About that ring being Stephanie's? Yeah. Were you going to tell me? I wasn't. Oh, you weren't? No. Oh. What kind of a marriage are we going to have if I... We're starting off on a lie. I understand how you'd feel that way. Oh, do you understand? I do, but... Were you understanding that when you got down on one knee and gave me Stephanie's ring? Well, you see, the reason I wasn't going to tell you is because, uh... Oh, stop. I planned on giving Stephanie that ring, but she was, uh... She was on that same flight that Lost was based on, and so she ended up on Silent. She fell in love with some dude named Sawyer, and, uh... He's hot. He's pretty hot. He's so hot. With his shirt off. With his shirt off, he's so hot. And so I lost Stephanie on that flight. And every time I think about it, it's in my little heart. Maybe you're still in love with Stephanie. No, I'm not. Maybe you get over it. But you know what? I have a special ring that's being hewn just for you out of corn niblets. Oh, perfect. There you go. See, there is a way out of it.

2:28:14You just have to have a story. Just have to have corn nibblets. You just have to have corn nibblets. That wouldn't work either. You can't do anything. Unless it's a family heirloom, there's ways around it. Other than that, you get her another ring. Dylan Hurricane. Wait till I tell you how many businesses right here in San Diego have received an F from the Better Business Bureau. An F. Didn't even think that was possible. We'll tell you. She sees a bartender in a pool of blood. Voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. I'm ready. Call 570-1949. I keep going all day. Or shoot him a text. I guess I was a little confused about that part. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Nissan. We've made our vehicles dependable, safe, and award-winning. And right now, during the Nissan National Tent Event, we've made them easier to get.

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2:34:26Some of us come from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and the Department of Defense. Some of us have families who do. As we serve our country, we also buy cars, finance homes, educate our children, and plan for retirement. During it all, Navy Federal is there. For over 75 years, they've been there. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. On Back presents Revolution, Cowboy Mouth, Fishbone, and more Saturday. It's the 57th coming out party, and tickets are just $10. Great bands, Miss Mission Beach, Beer on the Beach. All for just $10 at onback.org. That's O-M-B-A-C dot O-R-G. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by the California Association of Realtors. We go to Sigler in effect westbound on the 8 before Marina Boulevard. We have a Sigler once again in effect due to a three-car crash blocking three right lanes. Expect lots of delays there. Vista westbound 78 after Sunset Drive. We have a truck and a car involved in a crash there. It looks like moved to the shoulder and the drivers are out exchanging information. Traffic also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners for the month of May are participating Toyota dealership.

2:35:36is offering buy three tires get the fourth tire for one dollar visit your neighborhood toyota dealership today i'm elena o'brien fm 94.9 now back to the mikey show mikey i don't have any you know athletic ability sienna i'm like a i'm like a little bit irish there's everything white i am woods i mean hey listen i did snuff on the plane okay lauren i was a bit of a pyro when i was a kid I knew how it worked. I knew how destructive it was. I still started fires on the regs. And Jay, this is a paid gig. I'm 100% in. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Beatles. L.O.B.'s picking the music today. The song's called I'm Only Sleeping. We have a couple of people in the studio today that were just talking about how they are twins. So I had a bunch of questions for them because of my twin boys, Luke and Ryan. I want to know what the future's going to look like. It's interesting to me, too, because I'm finding out that there's a... Well, my wife and I, for whatever reason, thought, oh, twins are the best of friends, and they get along, and it's really great. Well, they are the best of friends, and they are really close, but that generally happens later, during high school and all that stuff. They fight like crazy. That's what we've been hearing. They fight, man. I think it just depends. We have not talked to anybody yet that has twins that says,

2:37:28Oh, all along they were always like everybody we've talked to says they fought. I didn't ask you. What's your name? Tell me your name again. Keely. Keely. I didn't ask you. Did you guys fight or no? Yeah. You fought too. I always hear that the twins, for whatever reason, the twins get into it. It's their bit. I was friends with twins in high school, Nick and Nicole, guy and a girl. Yeah. And they were. Totally good friends. Not a problem. They didn't fight? No. I think it just depends on your personality and your family dynamic and everything. My boys are going to fight. Yes. They are. There's no doubt. They might be different enough. Luke is going to beat Ryan up. Yeah. And he's smaller than Ryan. Daily. Way smaller, but he will. I think that they're very different, though. I think you have, like, the sweetest little Ryan and Luke who's just, like, in trouble. Yeah. Were yours that you're talking about, were they identical or fraternal? Fraternal. They were fraternal? Uh-huh. Hey, Mom. This milk's frigging cold. Yeah. I have twins run in our family. My uncles are fraternal twins. They're in their 50s. And they were at a golf outing in North Carolina. And they came downstairs to go tee off, both wearing same outfit. That's awesome. That their wives bought for them. That their wives bought? Their wives bought, but they show up wearing, like, the exact same outfit. They live in different states. Didn't do it on purpose. That is weird. I know. That's awesome, man. They have a picture. It's cool. It's a trip.

2:38:49That's a trip. Rebecca's not going to do the thing where she dresses them alike. She's not. She does it right now because they're too young to really get it. But as soon as they get it, she's going to stop doing that. What if it was like in the same family of, you know what I mean? She wants them both to kind of get their own deal going. Ryan's going to be wearing fedoras and smoking cigars at four. Wearing a mink coat. Yeah, mink coat. Yeah. You mean Lukey. Lukey. Yeah, not Ryan. Not Ryan. No, Ryan's the shy smiler. Yeah. Lukey is the. He's already blasting cigs. Yeah, he blasts cigs in his crib at night. Yeah. I found a pack of Marlboros under his pillow. My cigarettes always come up missing when I go to Mikey's house. I don't know what the hell's going on. He had a dip of snuff in, spit in his baby bottle. Yeah. And Woods looked at it and he goes, what are you looking at? What are you looking at? Yeah, it's your snuff. I took it out of your pocket. Yeah, what are you going to do about it? I took a dollar out of your wallet too because that's all you had. Yeah. You'd had more. And you know what? What you have, I want. Luke's first word will probably be get. Get. Hey, Dad. What if it was? I would love it. He does it now. Imagine that's what he said to you, Mike. Oh, he'd lose it. He's like gearing up. You're like, I think he's going to say something. He's like, get. I'm telling you, man. I said to Rebecca, I go, I'm going to have to drive that out of that boy. And she goes, good luck. Good luck. Yeah. He's going to be stealing the car real good.

2:40:14The more you try to put the hammer down on him, I bet you the more he'll rebel. 100%. You know it. You look at him and you know it. You see this kid and you're like, Jamie went the other day on a walk with Rebecca and the twins and she carried one of them for a while and she's like, I'm telling you, that Luke, they better watch out. They better watch out. The baby doesn't like to be told what to do. No, he doesn't. The baby don't like to be told what to do. Let's see. M1Aaron from Claremont. You there? Yeah. Go ahead. What's your question? I was just wondering, Mikey, how you would feel if Rebecca wore a wedding dress that she wore in a previous wedding to your wedding. I would flip my lid. That's very comparable. I would flip my lid. I had the husband try to give me the mother's ring that he gave to his ex-wife, and I wasn't taking it. You weren't having it? No, thanks. Pass it on to your son to give to his wife. Yeah. Yeah. I think I would ask the person, because a friend of mine was upset that she's dating someone that had been married before, and he gave this beautiful family heirloom to the first wife. And he said, yeah, but I can't give that to you. And she's like, but I want that. That's beautiful. So I think maybe if you ask, like, look, how would you feel about that? Yeah, nobody's going to feel that. Nobody's going to be feeling that's okay.

2:41:34But she would have. She was hurt that he didn't want to get it. Must have been a rock. Yeah. Maybe it was gigantic. Because that's what's important. Sienna, tell me. It doesn't hurt. How many businesses got an F from the Better Business Bureau? Way too many. Really? Have we all gone to the website for the Better Business Bureau? No. If you haven't, what it does is it gives you information on the company. And it even has, you know, the grades for the company based on the number of complaints and the company's willingness to resolve the problem. The grades range from A plus to F. And here in San Diego, any guesses? How many Fs we have in San Diego? At least 100. 250. $1. 101. There are over 3,000. No, there's not. Businesses with an F grade in San Diego. 3,000? Yeah. 3,000. Uh-huh. That's a lot, man. That is a lot. How many businesses are there? So that's, you know, 3,000 businesses with tons of complaints from customers saying it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. They have problems. And then these companies don't do anything to try to solve the problems. Yeah.

2:42:49So they get an F. A lot of places, if they're doing real good, they're like, whatever, what are you going to do? Not come here anymore? Great. You've saved me the hassle of having to work so hard. Wow. That's a lot. Maybe San Diegans just expect too much. Is that it? I'm thinking that's what it is. I think it could be a combination. We have too high expectations? I don't know. Hey, Woodsy. Did you watch any of the game yesterday on the Padre game? I saw the highlights because I was playing golf and losing bets. When you were a kid, were you ever a bat boy? No, dude, it was a fantasy of mine to be a bat boy. To be the New York Yankee bat boy. Yeah? Yeah, hanging out in the clubhouse, you know, stealing stuff from their wallets and lockers. Yeah, fantasy. Stealing stuff. Yeah. I would have been, I'm the perfect height for a bat boy. You are now. I could still be a bat boy. You could still be a bat boy. I could still do the job. I don't know who you got to know. to get that gig, but maybe I do an honorary Bat Boy. I'll be Bat Boy for a night. I would do it in the heartbeat. You guys all know my buddy Robert. He was a Bat Boy for the Astros. I'll be Bat Chubbs. I'll be Bat Chubbs. There you go. You know, MC Hammer was the Oakland A's Bat Boy for years. Yeah. I've heard that. I'm also an MC Hammer historian. You're writing his biography. Ashton Kutcher and MC Hammer. I could be a Bat Boy because...

2:44:15My little legs are just as short as both. Tattoo, you could be a bat boy. I have the short little legs that are the perfect time for it. I would love it. I would love to see you out there running around. Yeah, ma'am, my short little legs can run me fast around the bases. Well, you don't get to run the bases. You just got to grab the bat and bring it back and then get the next guy his bat. That's all I have to do? That's all you got to do. You don't have to run the bases or anything. You guys think I have the capability to be a bat boy? Those bats are heavy, though. No, I'm going to be fine. I'm going to jump in my little go-kart, and I'm going to lift some weight so that I will be ready to lift a heavy bat. I'm going to drive down the five to Petco Park, and then I'm going to knock on the door of the Padres like that. Hello, Padres. Hi, can I come in for a minute?

2:45:15I can't see you. You don't reach the people. I'm down here. Look down below. Who's there? I'm here. Oh, hey, little guy. Hi. Can I be a bad boy for you, please? Sure. Hey, boss. I want to be a bad boy so bad because if David Eckstein can do it, I can do it. Well, he actually plays second base. I know, but he's only two inches taller than I am. That was a big deal. Tattoo, are you going to wear that little white suit? Yes, I think if we just put number one on the back of my little white jacket. I think number negative 99 suits you better. Do you? Yeah, I do. How about zero? You know what's funnier than me being a bad boy for the Padres? What? Nothing. True. I wanted to work out so my agent can make a call to the Globetrotters.

2:46:14You guys know I tried out to be a jockey last year? How'd you do? I did all right, but I was right in the weight department. It was the height that was the problem. I'm 58 pounds overweight. I like sweets, man. What do you want me to do? Oh, yeah. Hey, by the way, Woods. Yeah. If your trip, where do you play? Baseball. I play baseball. Where or what? Do you ever travel? I travel to different high schools and play. If you guys ever start to travel out of town, I will be a perfect bat boy for you because I will fit in your luggage and you can put me in the store. I'll stick you right in the overhead. Yeah, Tattoo, people don't realize you can go right in the overhead. Yeah, just pick him up. It's not hard at all. So little. 570-1949 is our number. And you can text us if you want to. Oh, hi, Tattoo.

2:47:13Loves to ring that little bell. He really does. Tiny bell. It was his thing. You know, when he would get grounded, they wouldn't let him ring the bell. That was the deal. That's how you were able to motivate Tattoo. So, yeah, if you want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com is how you do it. We were talking about this the other day, but I thought it was worth bringing back up again. In terms of etiquette at certain places, most of it unspoken. It's not really stuff that... There are actual rules about it's just unspoken. For instance, gym etiquette. The things that you're supposed to do at the gym that are just an unspoken thing. You're supposed to wipe your sweat up when you get off of a machine. You're supposed to take... You are. Are you? Yeah. You're supposed to have a towel down. Yeah. I never do.

2:48:05There are so many people that do it. I don't really sweat that much, though. Oh, really? Like, I don't sweat to wear... I don't really sweat... Well, first of all, I never go to the gym. But when I do, years ago, there wasn't really sweat on the machines ever. Like, it was never, like, dripping. It's not dripping, but it's... It's there. If you actually use the machine, if you just sit on it to talk to somebody, it doesn't really count. Yeah, that's why I don't go, I guess. You're supposed to wipe down the stuff that you're on. And it's an unspoken rule. In my gym, it's not unspoken. You have to wipe down the machines. And it says it. Spray and a paper towel. Well, not every weight machine, but like the cardio. So let's say I'm laying on the bench press machine. Yeah. And I'm throwing up, you know, 275 on the reg. Really? Yeah, on the reg. And so I get done with my 35, 40 reps I do. And then I put my thing back up there. I got to wipe that bar down? Yes. Well. Yeah, you should. For sure. You know why. Same bit, right? Because if I'm on the elliptical, I'm using the little things. Aren't you guys using gloves when you lift stuff like that heavy? No. I don't want your cold.

2:49:07You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. I don't want your cold. Maybe get a weight bench at the house then. Really? Maybe wipe off your bar. I got to wipe my bar now too. Dude, I'll do it. Where you sit down. Wherever you're like sitting, you're supposed to. But like I'm on the incline, right? Yeah. Wipe the thing down where your hands touch. Wipe where your back was. And my hands. Just wipe. So then I got to, because the other bit in the gym is if you put weights on the bar and you lift weights, then you got to take the weights off, put them back. You can't just leave them on the bar. So then I got to wipe the weights down too? No. Then I got to wipe the doorknob to the locker room when I walk in, too. Yeah, I get your point. Then I got to wipe the little locker thing after I shut my locker. I mean, come on. You're making me rethink it for sure. Where does it end, though, you know? Well, you're sweating more when you're doing the actual lifting and cardio than you are just opening a door. Yeah, but I've just sweating. Why are you taking off your own weight? There are people there that can do that for you. Yeah, you just hire somebody to be a weight taker. Excuse me. I thought guys wore gloves. No.

2:50:05I don't wear gloves. I'm not a clown. What about... Oh, wow. Come on. Okay. Not a clown. You wear gloves to golf, don't you? One. What am I, in the Olympics? I'm not throwing up that much weight. Well, the real men that I know in gyms wear gloves. Yeah, I don't take steroids. I don't need gloves. What is he, a Polish Olympian that's up there with 500 pounds? I thought that was the bit. I throw a 25 on each side. You can barely get 10 reps up, all right? Yeah. When he's wearing his weight belt. Yeah, my weight belt. Yeah. He's got the big leather weight belt around his shirt. What about when you're on, like, the elliptical or the treadmill and the person next to you is just constantly looking at your speed? Oh, I know. And looking at your calories burned and just constantly looking on your scene. And I'm like, mind your own business. Do you ever do this where you look at them and they're looking at you and you're like... And you turn up the incline a little bit, and you're like, yeah, I got you. And you're competing? Yeah, you're competing. Competitive. No. Really? Yeah, I've never done that either. Old guys outrun me on those tracks. I'm like, oh, man. Now, wait a minute. I have not experienced that. Have you, Lauren, you said yes immediately. Have you done that? I've done both. You've done both. Okay, let's talk about the competitive one. They're both out of competitiveness. Okay, but the second one is the one that I'm most interested in, the turning up the speed. And racing.

2:51:24Who starts? Are you a starter or are you a follower? Doesn't matter. Oh, I start. Oh. Like if there's someone already on the machine, I'll peek, see what they're doing. I'm like, I got this. I got you. Yeah, I got you. And then if someone new comes next to me and they think they're going to be like Joe Fast guy, then I'll be Joe Faster guy. Really? That's awesome. It only applies to girls, I think. Really? And you do it with other girls? Yeah, because I've got this thing when I run outside. I pick off people one by one. I do. You do? Yeah. I used to be a track runner for years. She's a runner, track star. They're just out for a walk and she's trying to beat them. On your left. You call them a Sally as you run by? No, but guys will get, oh my gosh, guys will, if I pass a guy, all of a sudden they do a sprint. So they're like 200 yards past me and then they're like. They just want you to run by them again. Yeah, they want to check you out. They can't stand being passed by a girl. Really? I'll tell you right now, Lauren would smoke me in a race, distance or speed. I don't think you need to even say that. We knew it. In high school, the Lauren was really, really good.

2:52:34I'll go double or nothing with you on a foot race tonight. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, done. I think Jay's got it, buddy. I think Jay was a track star. Was he? Yeah, 40 years ago. Do you think that you could run faster than Jay? Yes! I've been running. I'm in. We got another competition tonight at the meet and greet. I'd love... You guys will just... Fire those at each other, man. And full of confidence. You can see it. Woods is full of confidence. And then we're going to do a softball throw after that. Do you remember when you had me carry the surfboard up the slope for you because you couldn't even carry it? Yeah, I was tired. You know what's great? Right there when he says that, when Jay goes, remember I had to carry your surfboard? When he does it, Woods has got this great thing that you have to be here to see, but I'll describe it. When someone says one of those things, Woods instantly gets a squint. He instantly squints. He's like, really? Really? Okay, so that would be like me taking you to the mound, making you throw 100 pitches and like, all right, dude, now go collect all the balls and run them back to the truck. So I was tired. It was my first time. Foot race, Jay. I was beat. At some point in the next couple of weeks, maybe we'll let you train. I'll be a trainer. And we'll do a foot race. Then he's going to grab a bat. I want to do it tonight. And the kid's going to grab a ball. And we're going to make it real run. That'd be great. Just a real quick run. I like a weekly challenge. Weekly challenge. Let's do it. Mikey Show Olympics. Mikey Show Olympics.

2:53:52I love it. Mikey show field day. No. Yes. I love it. Sold. I love it. Field day. Field day. Remember how great field day was? We'll take a bus. We'll pack sack lunches. We'll give away blue ribbons. Everybody gets a ribbon, Mike. You'll get a participation ribbon. Everybody gets a participation. Give me a few months after the baby's born and I'm in. It's too bad there was no eating lunch competition. We can have a pie eating contest. Right. He can't eat sugars. I'll be like the kid in Stand By Me. Thank you. The pie eating contest. Thank you very much. Larday. Edie Burkell and the New Bohemians. This is what I am. Of course it is. So wait till I tell you the percentage of parents that say that they regret what they named their kid. I'm so terrified of that. I'm going to. I know. We'll tell you next. Listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Good things come to those who wait. And if you've been waiting to save on that special dealer demo, now you can. The BMW Encinitas demo sales drive is back. For a limited time, you can save thousands on pre-owned service loaners, like on a 2010 BMW 750 LI or X6M.

2:55:22Save $10,000 off original MSRP when new. Or drive away in a 2010 650i convertible and save $15,000 off original MSRP when new. Plus, get the remainder of BMW's comprehensive four-year, 50,000-mile limited warranty and maintenance. Everyone knows... BMWs go fast. But during our demo sales drive, they'll go even faster. Only at BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Click BMWEncinitas.com. See dealer for warranty details. Thin number Y63767, number K13546, number Y40052. Offer ends 6-1-2010. Hey, shoppers. Supermodel Ken Josh here to introduce Old Navy's sweet grand opening this Saturday. So I've asked the new guy. The Mike. Yeah, that guy. To make my announcement more announcer-y. So come hang this weekend. Hurry into Old Navy this Saturday. The store looks way cool. The entire store got a fab-tacular makeover. There's, like, prizes and stuff. The first 200 shoppers could score free jeans or a graphic tee. Big prizes. I mean, huge.

2:56:32The first 200 shoppers also have a shot at a $500 or $200 shopping spree. And now for the rest of the details. Thanks, Mike. Hey, everybody. Come check out Old Navy's grand opening party Saturday, May 15th at the Santee Trolley Square. Doors open at 9 a.m. Bring the whole family. No purchase necessary. One name tag per customer age 18 and older. Yeah, what he said. Look into your sandwich. What's lurking under the bread? What's hiding under the sauce? What's buried beneath the lettuce? What are many sandwich chains and fast food places covering up? Cheap chicken. Bits of chicken that have been ground up and mixed with seaweed extract, soy and fat and made to look like real chicken breast. How do you think they make cheap chicken?

2:57:29Does the chicken they put in sandwiches make you nervous? Well, some of it should. How do you protect yourself? Insist the chicken in your sandwich is boar's head ever roast. Ever roast is fresh sliced chicken breast. The highest quality you can buy. Slow roasted the old fashioned way and basted in its own juices. Boar's Head Ever roast. It may be the best roast chicken ever. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium products at select supermarkets, delis, and gourmet stores. Wells Fargo has been in California since 1852. In that time, a lot has happened, like the invention of the horseless carriage, the discovery of radio waves, and the prevalence of sunglasses. Through it all, the people of California have been able to count on the strength and stability of Wells Fargo. That's why we're excited to share the news. That Wachovia is now Wells Fargo. Together, we're one team, stronger than ever, working with you. This means more bank locations, more ATMs, more online capabilities, and the same great customer service you've come to expect. Stop by Wells Fargo, and we'll take the time to listen and work with you to help you reach your financial goals. So throw on your sunglasses, if it's sunny, activate your horseless carriage,

2:58:47Crank up your radio and make your way down to Wells Fargo today. Welcome to Wells Fargo. Together we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. The Home Depot has made a special buy on Bonnie vegetables and herbs. Four and five inch pots are just $2.98 each. Plants you can eat. A great way to fill your garden and your family. With juicier tomatoes, crispier carrots, zestier zucchini. Since you're growing them all yourself, you'll spend less money filling your cart this summer. Thanks to Bonnie Vegetables and Herbs, now just $2.98. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Routed through May 23rd, U.S. only. See store for details. At Pickup Sticks, we walk everything fresh when you order it, and not a minute sooner. So your meal is always hot, fresh, and delicious. But at those other places, the food sits around and waits for you. And waits, and waits, and waits. Why settle for food that's been hanging around?

2:59:46Come to Pickup Sticks and order from our Dragon Deals value menu, where you choose from six tasty meals like our delicious crispy honey chicken special for just $4.99 each. Pickup Sticks, let us walk something fresh for you. Going once, going twice, soon. Every event must come to an end, and the Lexus 60-0 certified pre-owned sales event is no exception. Right now, we have a large selection of meticulously inspected vehicles available, and every single one of them is on sale. We even have a line of groundbreaking hybrids. You'll find 1.9% APR financing at irresistible lease rates on the Lexus of your choice, but only until June 1st. So stop by the Lexus 60 to 0 certified pre-owned sales event, where the one you want is the one on sale. And hurry, because as we said, every event must come to an end, even ours.

3:00:40See your Lexus dealer in Carlsbad, El Cajon, Escondido, or Trini Mesa. Or visit LexusCPO.com. 36 monthly payments of $28.63,000 financed. Call 1-800-USA-LEXUS for important APR program limitations and offer details. Only a limited number of customers will qualify. No down payment required if qualified. Offer ends June 1, 2010. Good morning. Traffic is brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. There's a way to invest that doesn't involve bankers, annuities, or any knowledge of the global commodities market. Kaiser Permanente, they believe that simply taking better care of yourself is one investment strategy that pays off. We go to that earlier signal alert that's still in effect. Westbound 8 before Marina Boulevard. Three cars involved in a crash there. Most of them to the shoulder now, but they still have the far right lane closed. So expect lots of delays as you make your way through that area. Traffic very slow still. Westbound 8 from 8.05. heading out to Taylor Street. Traffic is also brought to you by Caro's Restaurants. At Caro's, your favorite mile-high breakfast now comes with all-you-can-eat pancakes before 11 a.m. So satisfy that mile-high appetite with a mile-high value only at Caro's. I'm Elaine O'Brien, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Woodsy and Jay argued that whole break about who can run faster and who can...

3:02:06Comes in here as soon as the mics go off. James comes in the room. Because you're crazy. Yeah, he goes, let's run a mile. Really? I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. Oh, but you were calling me an old man. Let's run a sprint. Oh, man. Come on. Let's sprint it up, kid. I want to see a sprint so bad. 100-yard dash. He wants to run the bases. Let's run the bases. That's not running. Is it not? What is it? Bicycling? I didn't say let's unicycle around the bases. No, you guys. That's not a bad idea, actually. Maybe grab your walker and let's go out and run the bags. This is very argumentative. Huh? A mile, man. I can't even imagine. Who runs a mile? What am I, Terry Fox? Dude, I'm not running a mile. I can't even believe people run that. It's so crazy to me. People that run are thinking, you guys can't run a mile. I couldn't run a mile in a car. Well, we're talking about speed, not endurance. Right. I want to see how fast the wheels can go. Hey, well, come see these two dudes tonight. I'm sure Jay won't take any pleasure in. That bet being paid off. I'm sure I won't either. You shouldn't be picking on the guy who's picking out your food. Oh, and that's the deal. We just talked about, you know, maybe doing a little carpool. That means that it would be, the smell would be in the car. All the way up. Yeah, all the way up. Where are you getting it? Or where, what city? Like, do I got to take you to pick it up? I have to drive myself to my own execution? That's weird.

3:03:29I got to load the pistols for the firing squad. Hey, you need to load these up. I need you to plug in that electric chair, pal. Jay, are you getting the food? They're like, hey, it was. Have you cleaned out the syringes for your refill injection? Have you done that yet? You got to get to that, pal. I'm mixing my own batch. The cocktail. They're like, come on, come on, hurry up. Hurry up with that batch. We've only got an hour and a half left. You can come in with me and help me pick it out. Woodsy, what would be your last meal? Last meal? Last meal. What would you pick? Giant steak. Mashed potatoes. What kind, sir? I'm taking your order. What kind of steak? New York strip. Okay. How do you like that? Giant. Medium rare. Any, do you have any kind of special preparation? Do you want it grilled, broiled? Grilled. Grilled. Yeah, grilled. A little butter sauce on top. On the side? On the top. Lobster tail on the side. Got it. With mashed potatoes. Get the shell out of the shell. Out of the shell. Like a lobster steak, as big as you can find. Okay, so de-shelled for you? Yep. Got it. Side of shrimp cocktail. Okay. Do you like cocktail sauce with that? Do you like your cocktail sauce a little spicier? Yes, a little bit. Okay. Asparagus. Got it. How would you like that prepared? Just grilled? Yeah, grilled. Mashed potatoes. Just mashed potatoes. With a little garlic. A little garlic mashed potatoes. Then probably three or four creme brulees. I'd be good to go. Oh, my gosh. Cheesecake or two, yeah. Yeah, giant fresh DP. What? I'd be ready to die after that. Die at a... Oh, Doc's Barber. Yeah, DP. Fresh DP. Creme brulee? Yeah. Why? I thought you love creme brulee. I do.

3:04:56What would Lauren O'Brien's last meal be? Yeah. Just bring unfiltered wheat in here. And a ladle of natural spring water. Yeah. No, I think we said this on the air before. Pizza and beer. Exactly. I remember. We did? We talked about Last Meal? FM949. Really? The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show? And I said Yum Yum Donuts. Yeah, Yum Yum Donuts. We've done this. I was listening to Jeff and Jerry that day. But you were here. But you were here hosting it. That's weird. But I had a Walkman in it. A Walkman. Do you ever feel like maybe once in a former life you were a radio host? He was a queen. A queen? No, I was a queen. I lived in the castle. Well, I would take a baby calf, and I would do anything. That's so me. You would raise it and call it Gordy. Raise it and hug it and make it my own. Lauren, you said pizza and beer would be your last meal. Yeah. What did you say, Sienna? Yum yum. Yum yum donuts would be your last meal? I think so. You don't want, like, stuff? Well, I would get yum yum donuts with other stuff. Oh, okay. Like, that would be my dessert. Golden cornflakes, probably. What about you, Jay? What did you say? I like the lobster tail, and I like the woods asparagus.

3:06:05And what else? Oh, peach cobbler with like homemade vanilla ice cream. Woods, yesterday when we were done golfing, Woods wanted to get some Olive Garden. Oh, man, that sounded so good. So good. We have a gift card that somebody gave us. And I was like, maybe we make that right. But the wife wouldn't go pick it up before I got home. So you wanted it there sitting. I wanted it waiting. I had a long day. I'd been up since three. I was tired, played golf, you know. Hard work. Tough day. He kept saying, he's like, I'm doing the work here. I'm working. What is your line that you say? I'm the talent. I'm just sitting over here. No, no, no. Oh, I'm just here being dynamic. That's it. That's what he says to his wife. Because his wife's home working and stuff. And he goes, hey, listen, babe. I'm just here being dynamic right now. What do you want from me? She does not like me very much. She's a saint. She is a saint. Jamie. Yeah. Sienna, what's the percentage of parents regret what they name their kid? Do you think it's a lot? Yes. I would guess a lot. I'd say 40. See, I would think it would be lower because you usually spend so much time thinking about it that you've come upon the right decision, but maybe not. I'd say 40. 40? 40? I say 30. 3%. That's pretty low. I'm going to meet you guys in the middle and tell you that it's 20. One in five parents regret the name they chose for the child. 20%? Mm-hmm.

3:07:30You want to hear the top five boys' and girls' names? You would not change your name for anything, would you, Sienna? Sienna? You like Sienna. Yeah, I do. I like Mike because it lets me fly under the radar. See, I like Sienna because I don't have to ever tell anyone my last name. They always know who I am, you know? Yeah. Hey, it's Sienna. And as a girl, you know, an attractive girl, it's easy to be Sienna, even though I called you Sierra one time and you... Never going to let you forget that. Never. She reminds... As when I first met her. It was not, actually. It wasn't. No, I just remembered. It wasn't. Was it on the air? No, I was because I worked in the same building as him, but I was on a different station, radio station. So I'd see him in the halls and I knew he knew my name. I get flustered, too. I got flustered when I saw Sienna. I really did. You'd always be like, hi. Yeah, I did. And I didn't see her very often. So when I saw her, I'd be like. Like me and Hillary? Yeah. But you should have seen Mike try to get out of this. He's like, hey. And I gave him a hug. And he's like, oh, Sierra, I don't remember what you were talking about. I said, what did you just call me? And he realized. He realized. And he's like, oh, it was Ashley. And he's throwing other people under the bus. She wasn't even anywhere near us. But then I told Ash right away. And she was like.

3:08:48I did not do that. And I was like, oh, great. Is that going as Mikey is on the air? When you get him in the hallway, he is not that guy. He is kind of quiet. Most radio hosts are super quiet. Most radio hosts are like that. In fact, I said the other day, I explained it. I said, I think it's because I'm a lot like my dad. My dad's a real quiet cat. He doesn't talk very much. He's just really reserved and just solemn. You know, my dad is a very solemn, quiet guy. And so that's me off the air. I think people really expect that off the air I'm going to be. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm not. I'm quiet. Yeah, exactly. You can get it. You can get it out of him because I can get it out of him. Like if we're hanging out. We spend a lot of time laughing. But you got to know him. But you got to know him. I mean, I've known Mike for a long time, a long time. And you do got to kind of pull it out of him a little bit. Woodsy and I have a mutual friend in here today, Kiera. Kiera, were you surprised when you met me? Did you think that my personality, were you like, hmm, he's a little bit different than I thought? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, when I met you, I felt like I was meeting with like a Secret Service operator.

3:10:05Wow. Why? What do you mean? Because you were kind of like flying under the radar. You hadn't announced what station you were going to or who was going to be on your crew or anything. Everything was so on the down low. So hush-hush. And you were like, let's take this booth over here. And then it was like super like down to business. Come over here and sit on my lap. Creeper. I came up actually and I... You weren't there yet because I was there earlier than you, weird. That's true. That is weird. Yeah. Actually. That'll never happen again. Never. It never has. Yeah. And I got there and I told the guy, I was like, yeah, you know, I'm meeting someone. And he goes, oh. I go, no, it's not like that. And he goes, oh. You know what? I remember I got there before she did. We met in person at the potato shack. Delicious. It's delicious. So good. Lauren and I met at the Potato Shack. I saw her on YouTube. I needed to put together a show. And I was trying to find people and still hadn't put the whole thing together. Found Lauren on YouTube. Me and Justin Bieber were hanging out. That's right. That's how I discovered Justin Bieber. Thank God. That's how I found her. And we talked for a couple of hours at least before we met. Weird. You too?

3:11:26I know. You guys just talk and talk and talk to each other. You should see them in our meetings on Monday mornings. What? Moving on. Really? Moving on. Wait a minute. It's you two. Yeah. It's you two. It's you two. Who's two, Jay? What two? It's Lauren and Mike. What? That we talk? In fact, I even said to her the other day, I was kind of getting on her case. Weird. And she goes, and she even said, really? Is it? And she even said, Lauren goes, Well, you know, a lot of times, you know, I'll do a little bit of a mental check out because I know you and Woodsy are doing your thing. Is that right? And I go, really? And she goes, yeah, you go. She goes, you know, you guys will kind of get on your little. I'm just going to get under this bus. Oh, no. You guys are the worst. You and Woods. No. That's what. They're the worst. No. They're bad because they just talk about like random stuff forever. Talk about innate leather. Really? You know, Woods and Mike go on. But we go. We're trying to come up with bits and stuff. Yeah. Like we're trying to extrapolate ideas. You guys talk about Texas and name drop. But you guys are talking about, like, the weirdest stuff. And I'm sitting there and I'm coming out of my skin. What's my emotion? What drives me into it? What's my motivation for Susanna this week? Really? Lauren, now that look you just made. Now tell me what was behind that look. Yes! Really? Yes! I do that?

3:12:44We're pulling back the curtain today. I didn't even know I'd do that. They can talk for hours. Although I will say that Mikey and Woods sometimes, it's like everyone else disappears. That's exactly what I said. That's what she was saying. And I don't notice that, Woodsy, do you? In fact, I thought, really? Well, dude, I thought to myself, we have got to get a camera for our meeting. It's called riffing. We riff a lot. But this is what would be funny about our meeting. This is what would be funny about our meeting for people, for listeners. This is what would be funny for our listeners if we were to tape our meeting on video, is if you were to run it in fast speed. Because Woodsy. The whole time. The whole time. He's in different positions. He's pacing. I pace. You lay down on the table. I lay down on the table. Squinting and pacing. Picks up the guitar, baseball bat. Yeah, he'll lay down on the window sill. The window sill. He'll lay down. I've done that. And you'll look over at him and he'll go, he won't have said anything for five minutes. The only reason you know he's there is he'll go, I gotta poop.

3:13:48The kid's touching cotton, guys. Touching cotton real good. You know what I'm thinking at that point? I'm thinking, I've been here for 12 hours. You know what I'm thinking, too? You just made me sit still for four hours. Now I'm going to roam a little bit. I just sit there and eat pickle after pickle. See, I just feast the whole time. And Lauren just gets gripey at everybody for not staying on topic. How many times have we heard this in our meeting? Okay, let's just get... Under a corner. Awesome. Someone needs to do it. We're going to tape it. We're going to tape it. We got to tape it. Would you guys be interested in that? Yes. Would you be interested in seeing that? I want to tape just our office and how when Woods and Mikey are in there, like I'll walk in. I could be butt naked and you guys have no idea I'm there. That's... Well, that's... It's to you, Mike. Really? Both of you. You guys look at each other and smile. And you guys are like, you're so funny. Well, yesterday, Sienna, that's so emasculating, too, because yesterday, Sienna goes, do your wives get upset with your bromance? Yeah, do you guys, does your wife, like, does your wife get on your case for how in love and gay you are? Hey, it's just a couple guys trying to be dynamic, okay? That's what we're trying to do. No, it's good that you guys found each other. Really? Really? It's nice to have chemistry. It's nice to have chemistry. Little Ann Hart. It's nice to have chemistry.

3:15:12You guys, it's really good that you get along so well. Thanks. I don't mean it in a bad way that your wives are jealous. I don't mean it bad. I mean it totally gay, but I don't mean it bad. I just mean it that you guys are, you know. I'll tell you, though. I mean, the funny, it's true, because we'll get in the car, and we'll be going to do something, and we'll be crying, laughing, and I'm slapping my knee, and Rebecca's sitting in the back like, yeah, don't get it. You make Rebecca sit in the back when you're in the car? She makes me sit in the front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She knows that he likes to stretch out and do his thing. I'm six foot. Otherwise, she'd be behind or he'd be behind her seat kicking it the whole time. And that's the other thing. She rode in the front and Woodsy and I were talking a lot. And the next time she was like, why don't you just go in the front? Because you were screaming in my ear the whole time. Because I was leaning up in between them like this. You know what that means? What? Maybe this time I sit in the front. But you don't scream in my ear the whole time. No, because we were doing Hoyle. We need to come up with some bits for Hoyle. And we'll sit there and do that for 20 minutes. Hey, what? Yesterday, we're walking around on the golf course yesterday. Nobody else laughed. I love this. I laughed. Dude, on the golf course yesterday, JCB's with us. No one's laughing. Oh, I thought this was the delicious. It's dead quiet. It's dead quiet. And one of the guys that runs the course, that comes around to, like, police the course. Yeah.

3:16:33Groundskeeper? No, not the groundskeeper. The marshal. The marshal. He's a marshal. He comes around. He makes sure everything's okay. And he noticed that we were a little behind pace. Weird. Weird. You two in the same foursome? Weird. Yeah. So he's trying to keep us to get the pace a little bit quicker because there's golfers behind us, golfers in front. You know, you've got to pick up the pace a little bit. Uh-huh. And so he asks us, you know, a couple of questions, and we answer him, and he moves on. As soon as he's out of ear range, I go, I go, How you guys doing? And as soon as I do that, Woods, he's dying laughing. And, you know, Jay and CB are just like nothing's happened at all. Like nothing. Crickets. So I say to Woods, I go, are you the person in charge here? Yes, I am. This is my foursome. I see. Who's the little fella? His name's Mikey. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

3:17:27Well, I just want to welcome you all here to the Phoenix golf course. Thank you very much. Nice to have you here. It's good to be here. We're actually all here for a bachelor party. It's a treat. Tourism does so much for Arizona. It sure does. We're glad to have you here. Thank you very much. Let me talk about that one. Mikey? Right. His name's what? Michael Esparza. Okay. Can I talk to him for a second? Sure. Habla Inglés. Habla Inglés. Mikey's Esparza. Nobody else. In fact, they're driving off. We're dying doing this. I'm dying. And I'm like, does he have a driver's license? No, no. He actually left his wallet in the hotel. Did he? Yeah. He's got everything that you need. Do you have a wallet with him right now? No. Probably need to take a look at some identification. Why? State of Arizona. Oh, because he's a Latino. That's what I'm trying to say. We're doing that, dying nobody. Nothing. Cricket. Did that for 20 minutes. Jay was there having to live through it. I thought you guys were talking about nauseous. Yeah, we did that too. That was funny. You just don't know I was there because you were in your man glance. Yeah, that's the thing. You don't realize. Man trance. I love getting up at 3 o'clock in the morning to come in every day to a roast. Real good. He's like a chestnut over here. Welcome to the roast, kid. Here you are. I have something to break it up. Okay. I do have something to break it up. What if we did Donald Duck Theater? Oh, yes. And Donald Duck Theater, what if we did it to Tommy Boy?

3:18:52Have you seen the movie Tommy Boy? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. It's one of the greatest. What if Donald Duck were cast in the role of Tommy? What would that sound like? Actually, I'm Tommy, right? No. Spade, Mike. I'm David Spade's character. Got it. Ready? Don't. Don't do it. Kid, I'm serious. There it is. That's the best part. Love it. Feel better with? Oh, much. Hey, we still have some of those marriage rules that they, they. Say you should break. Oh, yeah. We didn't finish them yesterday. So I wanted to finish them. Not tense enough in here. We need to throw that in there. Yeah, let's do that. It's from WD. What is that? Women's Daily or something like that. Women's Daily. I had it. Yeah. Anyway, I'll give you some more. Give me one. Yesterday we covered, I'm just going to go over them real quick. Never go to bed angry. They say you should break that rule. Never vacation without each other. Yes, you should. Can I just say all of these I hate and I think are completely wrong.

3:20:22You should never sleep in separate beds. It's okay sometimes. Is it? Yep. Okay. Now we're going to start with the new ones. Are you ready, Mike? Yes. They say not to always be 100% honest. Oh, my God. I'm going to vomit. I knew it. I'm going to vomit. I knew it. I'm going to vomit. Let me give you examples. Let me give you examples. That's horrific. It's not. It makes sense. Horrific. Listen. Okay. Thank you. I'll tell you something. She's right. Thank you. Tell me lies. And it is from Women's Daily. Tell me. You don't need to share details of things like past relationships. Yeah. Okay, fine, but you don't lie. Maybe you don't share it. Wait, maybe you don't share it. You don't bring it up. It's not like forthcoming, but you don't have to. But if you're asked, you don't lie. How many? I know we've been together for a while. How many girls have you been with? Three.

3:21:19It's always three. It doesn't matter whether you're a man or a woman. How many beers do you have? Three. Three, pal. Yeah. I always thought the beers was two. You say two. Three beers. Three beers, three women. For a girl, I think you say two. How many times have you been in love? Really? If you're a girl, you say two. No, I meant on the beers, not the slang. Oh, the slang. So if a guy says to you, how many guys have you been with before me? I thought every girl goes, three. So much. I can't believe it. It's the women you multiply times seven. Is that a standing rule? Seven. Uh-uh. No way. 100%. No way. And men, you divide it in half. You divide it in half? Yeah. Multiply the women by three. So he's saying that women, if I said I've been with three guys. 21 guys. Yeah, I've been with 21 guys multiplied by seven. If Woods says that he's been with, what, 50 girls? He's actually been with 25? In a good month. Weird. Weird. Creepy. So creepy. No, wait. It was actually a slow month for the kid back then. Multiply or divide? Divide. For the guy? So it's been 25. Yeah. And like I said, on a slow month, sure. Oh, wow. We have to go to break. Really? Watch out here. There's more. All right. Well, I'll get mad at the rest of them when we come back. Meantime, LOP's picking music today. Get her alive. You spin me around.

3:23:03Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. SUVs. Most makes and models. Make us any offer. Trade-ins welcome. Paid for or not. Four days only. A giant used car tent sale at Qualcomm Stadium. Going on now through Sunday night. All vehicles are clearly marked and place to go. Need financing? Lenders will be on site with immediate loan approval. If you're even thinking about buying a pre-owned vehicle, don't miss this sale. Up to 2,000 cars, trucks, vans, and SUVs must be sold. This Thursday and Friday, noon till 9. And Saturday and Sunday, 9 till 9. A giant used car tent sale at Qualcomm Stadium. Four days only. Up to 2,000 vehicles. Parking and admission are free. Going on now through Sunday night. Don't miss it. Need some great rest and relaxation?

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3:25:34Mama, they are awesome. Cesar, ¿qué dices, hermano? Bueno, ¿qué estás haciendo aquí? Okay, I'm ready. What's my line? Can you say it's a wrap? Se acabó. Se acabó. Te lo laves, güey. Mama testa taqueria. Authentic Mexican food. Richmond and University in Hillcrest. If I can be Bobby Flay, I can surely blow your mind. Come in and let me put some Mexican in you. Dios míos, what have I done? The great thing about AT&T U-verse TV is you can record a show in one room and play it back on any TV in the house. That's important. Just ask Mike here. Hey. Mike worked late tonight, so he had to record the ball game. Yeah, but when I got home, my whole family was watching some show in the den. Families will do that, Mike. Thanks for the tip. Luckily, you first let you record shows on one DVR and play them on any TV in the house. Cable can't do that. So the game I recorded, I can watch it on the TV in the basement? Yep. How about my bedroom? Sure. Rumpus room? No problem. Closet? Put a TV in your closet? Why, is that weird? Only AT&T U-Verse lets you record and play your shows in any room with a single DVR. And now you can build a U-Verse bundle starting at $99 a month and get $100 back via promotion cards with qualifying services. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT, visit an AT&T store, or click att.com slash TV. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Go to att.com slash TV to see if you qualify.

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3:27:48So go get your Old City Grove gift cards now at HalfPriceSanDiego.com. Also, register today and get our weekly emails so you get the deals first. You know the drill. It's a win-win. Our priority is to have you turn over the Iron Man weapon to the American people. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. Critics everywhere are blown away by the number one movie in the world. Rolling Stone raves. Iron Man 2 is a total blast. Robert Downey Jr. is better than ever. Mr. Stark displays textbook narcissism. Agreed? Iron Man 2. Oh, it's good to be back. Tea may be inappropriate for children under their tea. In theaters at IMAX now. The Home Depot has made a special buy on Bonnie vegetables and herbs. Four and five inch pots are just $2.98 each. Plants you can eat. A great way to fill your garden and your family. With juicier tomatoes, crispier carrots, zestier zucchini. Since you're growing them all yourself, you'll spend less money filling your cart this summer. Thanks to Bonnie Vegetables and Herbs, now just $2.98. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Routed through May 23rd, U.S. only. See store for details. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA.

3:29:12And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I want to be a movie director more than anything else. Sienna. Only time I'll eat spinach is if it's in artichoke dip. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. On FM 94.9. What an appropriate song. Yeah, it is. It's an appropriate song. Three is the magic number. What were we talking about, three? Mikey Show. Number of people you've slayed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Before we went to break, we were talking about the list of marriage rules that some study something says that you should break. And I hate every single one of them. Some bunch of jerks and idiots. Yeah. I don't agree with one of them. Not one. Sienna, what are we left out? Okay. If you fight, you're headed for divorce.

3:30:22That means, obviously, you should break that rule because that's ridiculous. I don't believe that if you fight, you're headed for divorce. If you don't fight, there may be some problems. Real quick, dude. Yeah. There's also other times when you should probably lie to your wife. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about that. We need to talk about that. Please, please. For example, somebody makes a dinner that it doesn't taste very good. Do I look fat in these jeans? You don't want to hurt her feelings. And so you eat it and you don't say anything. Now, I would never do that because this actually happened to me the other night. Jamie made some enchiladas, and they don't have the enchilada sauce that we're used to here, which is old El Paso. They don't have it. It's very tangy, delicious. You like old El Paso enchilada sauce. Yes, I do, so don't worry about it. So then the one that she bought tasted like dirty socks, and that's not her fault. She didn't make it, but she made the enchiladas, and she goes, do you like them? And I go, no, I don't. And she's like, she got kind of upset for a second, and I go, honey, your enchiladas are badass if you have the right stuff. You don't have the right stuff. You have the dirty sock juice.

3:31:23And that's what we use. Therefore, I gave it a solid D+. She was like. You rate her meals? Well, that night I did. She's like, you're kind of a D a little bit. So she didn't appreciate the honesty. No, she didn't appreciate the honesty at all. And I was being honest. I wouldn't have either. There you go. Okay, guy, why don't you make dinner? I would have. I could have made dirty sock juice too, but I didn't. Here's the deal. My policy on that one is. Maybe don't ask questions. But if she does, you should probably lie to her. I probably should have said, these are amazing. They didn't taste that bad. They're just not what we're used to. So I could have wolfed them down. She's trying to find a new sauce. She wasn't trying to find a new sauce. We have a sauce that we like. I did the same thing. Rebecca got something that was a prepared meal. And I don't want to say where or whatever, but it was a prepared meal. What was the... Can you say what type of food? Yeah, I can say it was chicken risotto. Okay. Which sounds delicious. That sounds so good. It makes my mouth water. Look at immediately with the face from O'Brien. Like, that's awful. Well, you have to have fresh chicken risotto. If you have it prepared like that. They're really cruel to the chickens. No, I'm just talking about frozen rice. It wasn't frozen, was it? Wasn't it? Yeah, it's frozen and then you thaw it and then you cook it. See?

3:32:49He made the same thing. Anything you got to defrost and cook ain't going to be that good. Now, I will say this. Some of this stuff is actually pretty solid. Okay. But this meal wasn't. This was not. And so she said, how is it? I said, it's not very good. I said, but it isn't you. She didn't make it. She didn't make it. She heated it up. It's actually the next thing that came out of my mouth. I go, but you didn't make it. They did. I said, you know, you didn't do anything wrong. When my folks first got married, my mom made a tuna casserole. And my dad literally was like, hey, maybe don't ever make that again. Ever. Because it tasted like feet and I don't want anything to do with it. Apple doesn't fall far. Yeah, fair enough. I love how you guys have to pick an inanimate object that it tastes like. Tastes like socks. It tastes like feet. This enchilada sauce tasted like if you saved up your dirty socks for a year, ran water, threw them into a jar. That's what it's on these. And I heard. Hey, listen, her enchiladas are. Amazing. Amazing. This sauce was repugnant. I don't think you should lie, though, at all. I didn't. No, no, no. I know you didn't. You did the right thing. But he thinks he should have. I think I should have. I know, but I'm saying you should not have because she would have made them again. And then one day you'd be like, God, Jamie, these are disgusting. I hate these enchiladas. I never told you. You know, you would be in a bad mood. You guys would get in a fight and you'd say, by the way, your enchiladas suck. Yeah, and I would do something like that because I'm a child.

3:34:14Yeah, you don't have to. You can be cool about it, right? You don't have to be a jerk about it. She actually was sitting in the kitchen, and I was in front of the TV, and I took a bite, and she was looking at me out of the corner. She's like, I knew it. I know you hate them, don't you? I go, yep, they're terrible. Sorry. I love you. And you made them, but you didn't make this sauce, and this sauce tastes like butt. Every time JB makes you something, does she ask you if you like it? Yes. I do, too. Is that annoying? Yes. I think it annoys Todd, too, but every time I'm like, so what do you think? How is it? I do it, too. But it's so, it's nine times out of ten. It's amazing. Is it bad to, you don't like when Jamie asks you if you like it? No, I mean, it's just like, but then she does the, are you sure you like it? And I'm like, yeah, you know I'd tell you if it sucked. Yeah. Because that's my bit. You can appreciate that. I appreciate that. I have to ask. I try not to. I'm like, don't ask. You made this for him before. Like, you know, he likes it. He just ate a whole plate. Why do I? Why do I? I have. Babe, what do you think? Because you need positive reinforcement. I know. We're the same. Okay. Another one of the marriage rules you should break. And this one we mentioned the other day. And I almost don't want to bring it back up. But once you have children, they come first. They're saying that they don't. No, they don't. I'm with you, dude. Your spouse does. 100%. Your spouse comes first. I.

3:35:31100% think the opposite. Yeah. Sienna believes that the kids come first. And she says that her husband would feel the same way. I did. I actually, after we had this discussion on the air, I went home and I asked him about it and he was like, 100%. And he said, if you ever put me before the kids and, you know, I would like in a situation and you chose me, I would kill you. Well, what does that mean? Like, we're not actually talking about like you're on a boat and you got to throw one overboard. That's not really going to happen. Let's say your yacht. Yeah, with your yacht wreck, though, Mike. You have one lifeboat. Yeah, and it's made of gold. It's going to sink because it's made of gold. But if you were in a situation like that and you could only save one person, you know, like, sorry, Todd. It's going to be the kid. Mike, what if you were at the diamond mines that you own and you were mining diamonds and, like, the diamond, you know, excavator fell on somebody's leg? And you'd have to save one of them. Here's the thing. Any father. is in the boat with his wife and his two kids, he's going to let them be. And he's going to take the fall. Any father. Well, yeah. Right? Any father is going to say, you guys go. I'm going to take the heat. Right? Any father. But in the non-Fantasyland situations, your spouse, it's got to be team.

3:36:48Farrar before it's the team little guy. Let me paint it in a real life scenario. I have a real life scenario. I just thought of one. Let me hear it. When I first started dating Todd, he had a daughter before, Jenna. She was five when I came around. And Jenna, you know, this was the first girlfriend dads had. And it was hard for her. And no matter what, like she always came first. And as long as I've known him, I've always had the mentality because it's what I've believed my entire life is that the kids come first no matter what. We're married now. Jenna comes first before me, no matter what. And I wouldn't want it any other way. The only thing is, is that that is a situation where you were his girlfriend. You weren't his wife. And that wasn't your... But now that we're married, I've said, that's what I said. Now that we're married, Jenna still comes first. And I wouldn't want it any other way. And you're used to that dynamic. That's the dynamic you have. But check this out. Okay, so let's paint it this way. Okay. All right? So, you know, the baby's born. Sienna's pregnant. And the baby's coming in August. Baby's born. Let's put the baby at seven years old. Okay. So now your daughter's seven. Is she cute? Of course. She's adorable. She's a 34C also. No, they don't start galloping until high school. Yeah. So, okay. They come fast. So here's the deal. So she's seven and.

3:38:09Your husband has to make the decision of it's something special going on in your life. That's like an event, like a like a high school reunion that you want to go to and you want him to be there. And your seven year old daughter has a very important recital. OK, and. You guys are trying to make the decision. It's really important to you to go to this reunion and you two together like, man, should we stay home? Blah, blah, blah. Do her recital, you know, blah, blah, blah. Now, take out of this that you would say, well, I would choose my daughter's recital. I want to see it. Take that out of it. Okay. My husband has to choose. Your husband has to choose. Yeah. Would you want him to say the recital? And, you know, I can't go with you to your reunion. I would 100% want him to go to the recital. Yeah, and that's what you were saying the other day. You would choose for him to do the thing for the daughter. Yeah. But I'm telling you, it should be, babe, what's important to you? I'll do whatever you want me. He would probably ask me, but I would say, you're going to the recital. One of us needs to be there. You can't miss this opportunity for her. Yeah, I think I feel like I use a bad example. Yeah, that wasn't a great example. Terrible.

3:39:24Well, um... That was terrible. It was bad. You can tell me. I think... Because two years from now, I don't want to be like, how come you didn't tell me that? I think that... I think that that's just the way that I was raised, too, is because I told you guys the other day, my mom would choose any of her four kids before my dad. And that didn't piss your dad off? No, my dad would do the same. Like, for example, when you started giving that recital example, I thought exactly in my head of... It was awful, though. My mom... It was a bad example. No, but my mom... we were going to Alaska. We had this awesome trip on a boat all around Alaska. And this is like my dad's dream. He would love to do something like this. Fishing, there's whales, there's hunting. I mean, it's a guy's trip. And my dad stayed home with my sisters, my youngest sisters, because they were little. And he was like, I know you got me this trip. And my mom was mad because she's like, I got this trip. This is for you. And he's like, I can't leave them. I just can't. And they had a babysitter and everything. You just answered it. Your mom was mad. No, she wasn't. She was glad that he ended up staying. But she was mad at first. She was mad at first. Yeah, but that doesn't mean that he made the wrong decision. No, but she was mad. Oh, it wasn't like a fight. No, but she was like upset. Hurt. Hurt. Listen, my belief is it's got to be the wifey. Got to come first. I got a better example. Okay.

3:40:45I think. I'm going to try to talk through this in front of like 30,000 people. I don't think no one, no matter what you say, you can change my opinion. So your little daughter, your little daughter sneaks out of the house. Okay. Okay. And gets in trouble by Todd. Todd yells at her. Okay. And you're like, it's no big deal. It's fine. It's honey. It's fine. It happens. It's what kids do. So you've just undermined Todd's parental deal. My whole thing is with being number, being like you always, your kids. No matter what, Todd and I are still a team. That's what I'm saying. Like that has, it has to be mom and dad here, kids next. Like your relationship sucks. Their life is going to be harder. You know what I mean? So you have to be, it's got to be numero uno. But the way that we said it was your priority. My priority will be my children. Todd is always going to be one of my priorities. But the children, the children comes first. I don't know which. I mean, I'll just throw him in there with one of those. He's basically tied with them. But if I had to choose, I would choose my kids. He's tied. Yeah, that's crazy. No, he I guarantee you could call him. He'll say the same thing and he'll be happy that I'm like that. Ask him. That's part of the reason why he loves me. Ask him tonight. Ask him tonight. I mean, we ask him tonight. Today is May 14th, as you may or may not know. And that means that.

3:42:07We are about to give somebody a falsetto Friday. Yes. What a day for me. M1 Sanjaya, you there? Yeah, what's up, brother? What up, though? Not too much, dude. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you. How old are you? Hang on. I am 32. 32 today. He's just a youngin'. How about that? You ready to do this? You guys ready to do this? Of course. Here we go. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Passed out. He turned. Yeah, he did. Passed out. Man, Sanjay, I hope you enjoyed that because you almost killed your boy singing that. Awesome, man. He gave you everything he had. That was it. I gave the whole thing. I left it all on the field. You left it all on the field right there, bro. Yeah, I felt it all over here. That's right. Hey, we'll see you tonight, bro. All right, brother. All right, man. We'll see you. He's celebrating his birthday with us? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to bring some jalapeno poppers for us. Is he really? On your birthday. Oh, I hope he brings his baby. I hope he brings a little Dax. I hope he brings Dax. And I hope that... Dax has poppers in his pocket. Yeah. I hope Jay wasn't just kidding. He was kidding. He was? Yeah. How would he do that to me? That's mean. It just hurt my heart. He's bringing us poppers for his birthday. I know. Thought so. All right. Don't go away. We have a couple more, right? Yeah, there's more. All right. We'll finish it when we come back.

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3:49:53I don't like it when it's cheap. Sienna. I'm a big girl now. Got married, having a baby. Now I can rent a car. I'm moisturizing days. Dying. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. And Jay. I just got reminded of the worst haircut ever that I had. I forgot about. I had the rat tail. On FM 94.9. Lust for life. Lauren's picking music today. Good to have you back. It's a Friday. All right, so we're going to wrap up. The nine marriage rules that you should break that I don't agree with. I haven't agreed with one of them yet. Yeah, you agreed with the one that I didn't agree with. Which one? The kids one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it says that the kids should not come first. Once you have children, they come first. Oh, yeah, I don't agree. You should not. He doesn't agree. I don't agree with that. I know. That's what I said. Oh, you agree with it, though. I agree with it. Okay. Partners should sync up their hobbies. Yet. No, they should not. You don't agree.

3:51:35So you're okay, Mike? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Like just because you started golfing, Rebecca should start golfing too. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. It's a nightmare. I mean, do you think it's bad, Woods, if they do? Oh, so you actually think it's bad? I mean, I wouldn't get upset with it, but I don't think it's necessary at all. It's fun to do some stuff together, but not everything. That's great. Yeah. Oh, wow. Woods is very against that rule. Doesn't want any part of it, right? No. No. I mean, she does her tennis. I do my golf and baseball, and everybody's happy. She runs. I don't run. Wouldn't it be fun one time to play tennis? She's really good. I mean, I've played with her before. She kicks my ass, so I don't play with her anymore. Weird. She's really good, dude. I might take up tennis again. She's rad, and she loves it. So if anybody knows where she can go play, let her brother know, because she's dying to get out there. There's lots of rec centers. She wants to join a league. Oh, really? Yeah, she wants to join a women's league. She must be good. Yeah, she's good. GoVavi. GoVavi.com. What's that? They have leagues for sports. V-A-V-I? Uh-huh. G-O-V-A-V-I. Yeah, I did dodgeball with them. Oh, it's a singles club. Perfect. No, it's not. Perfect place to center. It's an adult league and a social network. Yeah. Yeah, they have monthly key parties, too. It's going to be great. The guys are all... Oh, whoa, whoa. Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I pulled the wrong one down.

3:53:01Yeah, there's a place by me, Woods, where she can come and play. It's the Bobby Riggs. Oh, Bobby Riggs. That was a famous tennis player. He got beat by a girl. Well, good. That'd be perfect for her. That's the dude that played Mary. What's her name? Imagine he's listening right now and he's like, really? It's called the battle of the sexes and he lost. It's all centered down there. Okay, here's another rule, marriage rule that you should break. If there's no spark, you're doomed. A lot of people think, you know, when the spark dies out, it means you're in the wrong relationship. That's not the case. It can be, but it's not the case. When the spark dies down, you're doomed. Well, I mean, I don't think that you should let the spark die down and you should do everything you can to get the spark back up. Yeah, but it's never going to be at the level that a lot of girls want it in the beginning. You know, that spark is just like, he's sending you those cute text messages and the notes and it's just coming strong. that will fade and that's okay. No, it isn't. As long as he still does stuff like that sometimes. Yes. Like, I don't think that it's okay that that fades and goes away. Is that why you put that stripper pole up in your room for yourself? Absolutely. I've got to be able to do a striptease for her. I have to do a striptease for her. Really? Or she gets upset, you know? Yeah. So, I mean, don't let this, you know, if you can help it.

3:54:21Keep his spark alive, but they're saying that long-term relationships survive on commitment and trust. That's right. My mind is just picturing Mikey doing the last spins and the back of his knee getting caught on the pole and just going. Yeah, yeah. Wow, wow, wow. Holding his laptop in one hand. The best part of imagining it is me trying to be sexy but falling off every time. And the squeaking around the pole. Honey, watch this. And then he falls. And me like trying with all my might to support my own weight on a pole. Nobody should Photoshop Mikey on a pole. I dare you. I dare you. With his laptop around his waist. Around his neck on a necklace. And the last marriage rule you should ignore or you should break is boring is bad. Some people think that, you know, there should be drama and excitement all the time. Isn't it nice to just have a routine? Yes. As a married couple, it should be drama. It should be as boring as you can get it. I want to know exactly where he is at all times. Weird. Well, he'll want to know where I am. He does. Yeah, don't you? You don't want to know where your spouse is? If he comes home from work and I'm not there, he calls. He's like, where are you? I don't flip out about him. He doesn't flip out. I'm not tired. He doesn't flip out, but it's like, where are you when you're not home?

3:55:51Because I'm breaking the routine. All right. We got to go. We do? Yeah, we do. It's time to go. The roast is over. Really? Was it bad? Woods is so excited. Five-day roast. Five-day roast week. Oh, please. Perfect. Unbelievable. How's that Indian food? You guys are going to have Indian food tonight. Paying off a bet. We'll see you tonight at Hoolies in La Mesa, 5,500 Gross Most Center Drive in La Mesa. Oh, wait a minute. Grossmont. Yeah. I barely know San Diego, so sometimes these are hard to get up. Just kidding. I'm giving our PD a hard time. Jesus, no Jesus. Come on. We're at Grossmont Center Drive tonight in La Mesa. Come on out and see us at Hoolies. It's going to be good. Woodsy's got something going on, too. Yeah, I feel bad. He's about to do his testimony, and I'm about to pitch my creepy weekend plans. Dude, it's not creepy.

3:56:48Good doing your thing. So I'm going to go host tomorrow the Miss Mission Beach pageant. It's held at Mariner's Point on Mission Bay. And you can go. I think the pageant starts at noon. So come see your boy. I'm going to be judging out there. Come on out and meet Woods and Mrs. Woods. It's going to be actually really tough. You know she'll be there. It's going to be sitting on my lap. You can go get your tickets at umbac.org. That's O-M-B-A-C.org or at the gate. And come out and see your boy, M1s. Need you out there. Need some support real good. You must really be dreading that. No, it's, you know, another tough gig about having this job, but whatever. Hey, listen, you gotta do it. You gotta do it. I guess I'll do it. Good thing you'll have a mustache. Good thing I'll have a sweet crustache. Kid's gotta do what a kid's gotta do, though, right? You do it, you do it. At the end of the show on Friday, I give you my testimony. It means I tell you kind of where I have been and what has happened in my life. And I do it because I know that there's a lot of people that are listening that are maybe going through something similar. The gist of it is, is that I grew up like a lot of people did. I grew up really, really insecure. And I grew up with a very, very low sense of self-esteem. When I was growing up, the whole time I was a kid,

3:58:08Felt isolated. Felt very different from other kids that I was around. A lot of it was because I was a real smart little kid. And it made me feel isolated. Made me feel different from my peers. And I was also a kid that felt ugly. I did the whole time I was a kid. Felt different. Didn't feel like I fit in. That kind of progressed into my teens. It progressed into even my 20s. And the problem was is that in my mid to late 20s, I started drinking pretty hard. I started doing drugs pretty hard. And I had no concept at that age that there was a God available to me that would run my life if I gave him the chance. At that point, I was trying to fill a hole in my heart with everything you could possibly imagine. Girls, drugs, sex, anything that you can imagine I could be addicted to and was. The other big part of that problem for me was that after a period of time, it started to take a pretty big toll on me. By the time I was in my early 30s, I was addicted to alcohol in my early 30s. I came to a point where my dad had to call me over. He said, listen.

3:59:44If you continue to drink, I can't continue to have a relationship with you. And that was really difficult for me to have my dad tell me that. But I was talking to my brother about it the other day. I talked to one of my older brothers, and he said, you know, man, it was really painful to see you stumble. And he didn't mean that metaphorically. He meant it literally. My brother would see me drink so much. I remember one night we were out partying together, my brother and I. And we were having a blast. We were having a great time. And I got to a point where I was so drunk that I was stumbling. And my brother's eyes welled up with tears because he went from having a great time to looking at his brother. And he knew that I had a problem. And he felt sorry for me. And I could see it in his eyes. And that was, for him, heartbreaking. If you share any of that experience that I've mentioned to you and you go to MikeyShow.com, there's a place at the top of the page that just says the word help.

4:00:50And you click on that, and it'll take you to an area where you can get a lot of different resources and help. If you're dealing with depression or you're dealing with alcohol addiction or you're dealing with an eating disorder, any of those things are covered there, and there's some places there that you can get some help. And at the end of the show, I play a song. I'm going old school today. I'm going to play the song that I played for a couple of years and that I still play from time to time. It's from a band called Third Day. And the song is called Tunnel. I play this particular song because of how inspirational the words were to me the first time I heard it. The first time I heard it was 10 years to the day that I had been devastated in my life. And I found myself 10 years later looking at a future that was so bright and so different and so changed because I allowed God to run my life. And I hadn't done that. But when I did,

4:01:51And since I have, things have been so different. I've been different. I've been changed by it. And I want people to know that feel desperate today, that are listening right now, that feel desperate at this very moment and feel hopeless, feel like you have nothing to look forward to. I felt that way too. And my entire life changed when I gave God the steering wheel to my life. Really listen to the words to this song if you're going through that period in your life right now where it just seems so hopeless and desperate and you're in pain. Really listen to the words to this song. Lovely and talented. Hillary is up next, and we will see you again on Monday. Come meet us tonight at the meet and greet. The Mikey Show is out. Bye. BAM 94.9. It's about the music.