The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/17/10

0:00KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Welcome to the program, everybody. Monday, how about that? Feeling nice and hydrated this morning? Thank you. Thank you so much. We got a great show for you today. We have pure gold for you today. I want to know where the gold is. It's coming. I want the gold. It's coming. Give me the gold. I want the gold. I just told you. I just told you. You're going to get the gold. You're going to get the gold from us. I promise you. It's the best open ever. Ever. I love it. Welcome to the show. It's the Mikey Show. We got five people on the program. Do we? Yeah, we do. Yes, we do too. And the five are myself. I'm the host of the show. My name's Mikey. We got Woodsy. We got Lauren O'Brien. We got Sienna. And we got Jay. And we got you, the M1s. M1s are a part of the Mikey Show.

2:22The M1 Nation. What does it mean to be an M1? It means when you call us up, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. That's one thing that being an M1 is. It means you listen exclusively to the Mikey Show. It means that you listen for long periods of time. You're turning new M1s onto the Mikey Show all the time. You're creating M1s. And if you do that, you are, in fact, an M1. We got to hang out with the M1 Nation on Friday. Sure did. Out at Hoolies in La Mesa. Incredible, incredible meet and greet. It was really good. It's awesome. Got to meet a lot of people. Woodsy ate the Indian food. Paid off my bet like a man does. You sure did, dude. And he made sure to tell everybody about his hurt finger, too. Just like a man does. Just like a man. Kid paid his bet. That's all that matters. I wolfed that swill down. That's right. Some of it came out of your nose. Some of it did come out of my nose. It was great. I tasted it all night. Yeah. Just a film of curried filth on my mouth. Lauren's right. You did tell us that all night, and you also talked about your hurt finger. I didn't talk about my hurt finger at the meeting, right? No? No, I didn't. Are you crazy? I don't know. Oh, my gosh. Maybe it was the nine beers that you had. Yeah. Just clouding your judgment. I didn't even finish a whole beer. Easy, kids.

3:43We're only 30 seconds into the show. We're only 30 seconds into the show. I don't even think I've said anything yet. I know it. I looked over several times and he was like... Did I? Pointing at his finger. 570-1949. We got a lot of things to find out. One thing I want to know about in Woodsy's personal life, which we'll find out a little bit later, is how did his game go? Because I know that Woodsy plays in a men's baseball league and I want to find out whether or not... He got to advance to the playoffs. He's not saying. Well, he does have a hurt finger, so it must not have gone that well. Probably. We'll see. We'll see. He's keeping his poker face right now. His poker face. That's right. You can text us, too. 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to get a hold of us by text. We're all here. We're ready to go. It's Monday. I'm sick of the rain. Sick of the rain. Is it raining? Yeah, man. It was, like, all drizzly. I'm sick of it. Mikey gets so upset. And it's always to me, like, he has to apologize to me for the weather in San Diego because I just moved here. He's like, Woodsy, I swear, it's not like this, dude. It's okay. And I'm like, dude, it's fine. It's gorgeous. We got the ocean here. It's beautiful. He's like, Woodsy, it's never this cold, man. And I'm like, dude, I'm okay. I'm going to make it. I'm sorry, Woodsy. I'm sorry, dude. Every day. I know you expected more. This year, it's...

5:05Especially rainy and cold. It's so funny. Right? Yeah. It is. It has not been a warm year. Al Gore, what are you talking about? I don't know. It is. I'm ready for some, you know, sunshine and all that. Lots of stuff to go through today. First of all, BP. has finally figured something out with the oil. What did they do? Well, crews were able to hook up a mile-long tube to funnel the oil from the well on the ocean floor to a tanker ship. So there's been some success. However, they said it's not a total solution to the problem. In about a week, BP plans to try to shoot heavy mud into the damaged blowout preventer on top of the well. Then permanently, that will make it concrete, the mud. And if that doesn't work... they can try to shoot golf balls and knotted rope into it to plug it up. No, you can't just make stuff up. I didn't. I didn't. Right from the news. Don't you think maybe like a steel plug? Yeah. Or like an impenetrable force? Yeah. Things are going good right now. We have some progress. That's what I'm trying to look at. Does it creep anybody out that for the last month and a half, oil's just been going... Yeah. I told you, Mike, I cried last week when I realized...

6:18We totally forgot. We didn't mention this. Lauren, tell that story. I read it, and my jaw dropped open. I went, wow. I was having a particularly tough day, and I was annoyed in the first place with getting gas. Is it one of those days that happens recurringly? Like a day that maybe happens on a cycle? Yes. Yeah, it was that kind of day. Yes. Cycle. Yeah. Monthly cycle, maybe. Yeah, maybe monthly. Oh, friend visiting. Yeah. Maybe I watched an episode of Modern Family and cried. Really? Maybe. How did you cry from that show? Because they got married real sweetly. They renewed their vows. I think I teared up at that, too. Weird. Yeah, I was just having a particularly tough day. I was also really tired, so I pulled onto the wrong side of the gas tank, and I was like, what do I do with it? How long have I had this car? So I sit there, and I'm filling up my gas, filling it up, and I get to the end, like the little click, and I go to get my pump, and I see this little sticker that says, like, this is operated by BP Fuels or whatever. Right. I started crying. She started crying. I was like, while I was standing at the gas station.

7:32Yes. That was an overreaction. Was it really expensive or something? No, just because I was like, I don't want to support them. It was an Arco gas station, so I didn't know. And you're being inappropriate. I mean, listen. That's fantastic. That's amazing. She was there. I know. I can see Woodsy processing it. He's like, she saw a BP sticker, realized they're leaking oil into our environment, and it brought her to tears. And it also explains why she liked to roast the kid five days straight last week, too. Now I know. Now I know. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? That's every week. Now I know. It makes a lot of sense. Kid was on a five-day roast from her last week. She's getting eyes over at me. Yeah. It was great. Yeah, you get that. Every 28 days from the LOB, you'll get a little. But I'm going to go and try to find out what their affiliates are because I'm not going to let that happen again. I'll tell you that much. I'm going to be brought to tears at the gas station again. She's got convictions, man. You got to appreciate that. Yeah. She's very convicted. She's a very, very typical 29-year-old white woman. Yes. You know what I mean? For sure. You know what I'm trying to say? I think you do. Hey, where are the white women at? Right there. Right here. Right there.

8:52Crying over the oil that's leaking into the ocean. No, he was crying over spilled oil. That's right. Isn't there? Isn't there? Oh, man. Well, so there's that. They're trying to fix things up with BP. And then, this is sad news. I don't know. I read it on Facebook yesterday with... Woodsy's Facebook post. I read it there too. Me too. Didn't you all? I was like, is that like a made up character? Who is that? What's going on? I broke the story for the Mikey show. Yeah. I feel like Peter Jennings a little bit. That's right. If you haven't heard, that's right. Ronnie James Dio passed away. Yeah. The guy that sang Holy Diva. This song right here. Oh, that's him? That's him. Black Sabbath. He also did stuff with Ozzy. Yep. I am blown away that neither of you guys knew who he was. Listen to these pipes. Mike, were you a Dio fan? I was not because of the operatic. The operatic-ness of it. You don't like the big opera sound, like Meat Loaf. Did you like Iron Maiden? I did not. Because of that? Because of the... I just, when I was growing up, first of all, when I heard guys singing and they were going...

10:15Scared me to death. When I was 13 years old and I heard the... I was like... I literally ran to the hills. I would jump underneath tables when I would hear that stuff. And when I saw my friends rocking out to it, I was like... You're a whole different type of brave than me. It's a whole different type of metalhead. Yeah. That loved Dio and Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden. And they would wear the concert tees with the weird graphics. Dio's albums scared the crap out of me when I was a little kid. Yeah. Like big devils, like crazy stuff all over them. That was his bit. And they would tell you if you played them backwards, you'd hear like... I love the devil. Really? Weird. I think it was more of Black Sabbath, but Iron Maiden fell into that. His whole thing was the devil horns, and he was really into all that imagery, just like Sabbath was. And a lot of people are like, whatever, it's a bit, that's his thing. And I go, I don't care if it's a bit or it isn't. Freak me out. Freak me out. It worked. When I was a kid, I was like...

11:28I don't know who this Dio troll is, but he scares the crap out of me. But then I grew to appreciate him and know what a great voice he had. I actually saw him in the Admirals Club in Los Angeles. He's literally three feet tall. Yeah. He's three feet tall. And I was like, I go, you're Dio. And he goes, how are you doing? I go, I'm great. See you later. And I walked away. Well, it's the truth, man. He's not very tired. In fact, I met him one time myself at the airport in Detroit. Weird. Detroit. And I was like, man, you are a short dude. Weird coming from you. That just goes to tell you, I've got the man well. Do you have a leg up on him? Yeah, you get it? That was a good one. Thank you. So that's the deal. Yeah, well, his wife made the announcement yesterday. He died yesterday morning at the age of 67 after a battle with stomach cancer. I can't believe that Dio is almost as old as my dad. Dio? 67 is not very old.

12:36Well, but, you know, my dad is 71 years old or whatever. Four years. It just, you know, I can't believe that they were in high school kind of at the same time. Yes. You know what I mean? Your dad was a senior when Dio was a freshman. How crazy is that? Isn't that funny to think like that? Well, you know, check this out. Now, this is just to give you an idea of how old Dio was. He was originally, and a lot of people don't know this, he was like a doo-wop singer. Yep. Like in the 50s, right, Woodsy? 50s and 60s, man. He was doing doo-wop and whatever was kind of hip and whatever he was into. But this is pretty cool stuff. Ronnie Dio and the Prophets. Listen to that, dude. Isn't that great? Listen to his voice. That's Dio. How do you make that switch? I know. Yeah, there you go, Lauren. Lauren's getting it. That's the dance. Yeah, look at him. It's like two kids back in the 50s. I know. Your parents would ground you for that because it was too sexual. You guys doing the, what would you call that? What's that dance? The twist, yeah. The twist. That was like the coolest dance. I could do that dance and look cool. Yeah. If that was the cool thing to do, I could do that. Parents would see the twist like that and they would say, you stopped that pornography immediately. No way. Oh, yeah. But it's hard to believe that that is this guy.

14:12If you can't hear the similarities. It's so weird. I like the doo-wop version better. Yeah, I do, too. There you go. 570-1949. M1 Mustang's calling in because we were talking about BP. What were you calling to say, Mustang? For BP are Arco, Valero, Dolan Tone, and Thrifty. What did he say right before Thrifty? Valero? No, in between... D-R-O? D-R-O? Yeah. Look at her furiously writing. He was spelling Valero. Oh. There's four. I've got Arco, Valero, Thrifty, and what's the fourth? Golden Coast. Golden? There's two stations in San Diego, but they're on Library's Petroleum. Can't take a road trip. Lauren's writing it down. She wants to know which ones to avoid. I will be. Thank you, Emma. I think I'm going to join you. No way. Yeah, I think I'm going to join you. Solidarity.

15:08Solidary. Yeah, brother. Unfortunately, Arco is usually the price winner. But for a couple of extra cents a gallon, I will not give money. AM, PM is pretty legit in price. Oh, yeah. Costco's got the best price. Costco does have the best price. But you've got to wait 60 minutes to get your gas. If you have the time. 60 minutes to save your soul. That's right. Save three cents. Hey, thanks, dude. Love yourself. Thanks, buddy. Thank you. There it is. So BP plugging up the leak. Ronnie James Dio passing away. And this is interesting. And whatever you want to talk about, you can call in about anything you want. 570-1949. And 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to text us. I forgot my wallet this morning. I had to go all the way back home. How far were you? Not that far. I wasn't that far away. It was probably three miles. You know the problem with that, though? I forgot my phone the other day. There's nowhere to turn around. Yeah. I live really close to Mike, and it was the same bit. I was like, I'm going to have to jump this curb if I want to even think about making it to work. Poor Mike for getting his wallet. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the mundus. Maybe I do. Maybe I do. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the mundus. I heard you. I've never wanted to punch a girl in my life except for that girl. I know. She's the worst. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the mundus. Please. That girl.

16:36Let's see. World's luckiest man gives away lottery fortune after cheating death seven times. This is so nuts. This guy, 86 years old now, his name is Freno Selak. He's from Croatia. Is that one of the names that you've been considering for your new baby? That's exactly it. It's on the top of the list. It's on the top. Freno. Yep, Freno. He's a music teacher, and five years ago, he won the lottery in Croatia. He won 600,000 pounds. which is $4 in Croatia. Yeah, it's more than a million here. Yeah, it's more than a million here. And before that, apparently he survived a plane crash, multiple train crashes. He also survived other disasters, including landing on a haystack after falling out of a plane door that had blown up. This man lived through, like, seven major disasters. He's got a horseshoe up his butt. Yeah. Luckiest dude ever. Now, wait. Is he really lucky or a compulsive liar? No. Because I find that hard to believe. He's like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable. Yeah. It does sound like that. No, there's news stories and stuff that back it up. And people, like, for the last 10 years have been saying, you are the luckiest man in the world. But he doesn't think he's lucky at all because he's like, why does this keep happening to me?

17:51Flip side to that coin is he's the only dude that's ever been in five train crashes and he fell out of a plane, out of a plane crash. Once again, so-and-so steps in blank and it doesn't stick to his shoe. Would you guys be concerned that any second something else? Yeah. Right? Well, I think he is too, which is why, you know, he feels, I think, a little bit guilty about winning all this money in the lottery. Because he's like, I'm the luckiest man. This is weird. And so he's decided that money cannot buy happiness. And he's giving all of his money to his family and friends. He sold his luxury home on a private island. He's moving back to his little place in Croatia. And he did save a little bit of his money so that he could have a hip replacement. So he could enjoy the rest of his life with his wife. He said, all I need is my Katarina. It's his wife. It's like a goosebump. It's actually his boat. No, it's his wife. He's going to walk down the street and Anvil's going to fall off. Anvil? Seriously. A piano? A piano on his head? Don't. That is nuts, man. He won 600,000 pounds, which is more than a million. That's a lot. Turns out to be $4. Let's see. Yeah, call us. 570-1949.

19:06And especially if you went to the meet and greet, you had a good time, want to talk to you about it, want to talk about everything that's happening. Coolest M1s. I got Yum Yum Donuts brought to me, a necklace. I was like, yeah. I got all kinds of earrings. Some kombucha. Did you? I got a heavy metal CD from Metal Dave. I got a really tiny illegal golf ball that I should have used to beat Jay. Yes. And I got some new smokeless tobacco. There you go. I got nothing unlike that. So there it is. You got a lot of high fives. I thought I saw someone giving you a guitar or something. To sign. What was that about? Oh, you signed it. Somebody wanted me to sign a guitar. Yeah, a little kid. Are you a musician? That's pretty good. That's what I said. I go, you really want me to sign this? Do you think I'm Dio? I'm not. I'm not Dio. I know I'm his height, but I'm not. Maybe they thought you were Daughtry. Really? How nervous were you to sign that? That's a lot of pressure. What if you mess up? I know. I know. Make this cool. Make this cool. What do you do? I know. You scratch it out. You sign below that. I still feel really weird about signing things. But because, I don't know what to sign. Sienna has a paragraph. Mikey has a cool Bible verse. Lauren has a paragraph. Jay writes J-A-Y. And I write, get across my fat face. He signs over his face. Yeah, every time. Because he thinks he looks fat. If you have one that's not signed over the face, it's worth a fortune.

20:29When little Cole won the mustache party, or not the mustache party, the mustache contest, he said, what would you like to say? He said, I know why it's right on his face. And they were like, what? I know. He knows why I ran over my face. He says he knows why. He said because you're insecure about your face. You don't have fortunes. And I look like a cholo in that picture. It was great because, you know those moments? You know those moments where... A little kid says something or asks a question and the room is quiet in anticipation with giant smiles on their face. What's he going to say? Kids say the darndest things. He goes, I know why you sign over your face. The whole room is quiet. Yeah, the whole room goes instantly like, what's he going to say? Fiona's got another little kid she's interviewing. Exactly. And he goes, you do it because you're insecure about your face. What are you, Sigmund Freud? You're three feet tall. I told him to tell Woods to get. And he's like, Woods, get out of here. That's great. That's awesome. On the microphone, I'm like, oh. No, seriously, leave. No, beat it.

21:44So this is pretty big news today. There is a new witness for the defense in the Lawrence Taylor deal. And we will tell you what she is going to be saying. Sienna's picking the music. Starting off real gangster. Oh, yeah. How do you pronounce this artist? Lunez. Lunez. I got five on it. We need to play this during our $5 quiz. Yeah, because it's called I Got Five on it. All right, so we'll tell you, Woodsy's going to tell you in Woods on Sports, and we got a 911 call for you. We'll be doing that for you. And Woodsy will tell you what the woman is saying in the defense of Lawrence Taylor next. Oh, my God, it's better than I thought.

22:41Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The Mini Cooper. It's a steal, but it's not stolen. Lisa Newt, Mini Cooper hardtop or clubman for $249 per month for 36 months during the Motoring Madness event ending June 30th. For details, visit miniusa.com slash info. MSRP includes destination and handling. Excludes license, registration, taxes, and options. FM 94.9 recommended artists Broken Bells coming to Humphreys. Tuesday, May 18th. New band, new sound. Performing songs from their critically acclaimed debut album Broken Bells. Humphreys concerts present Broken Bells with special guests, the Morning Benders. Tuesday, May 18th. Tickets available at Ticketmaster.com or at the Humphreys box office. Presented by your San Diego County Lexus dealers. Produced by AEG Live. Box Monday on the breathtaking season finale of House. The crane crushes a high rise. Faced with a life-changing choice. How bad will it hurt? There's nothing near ourself before.

24:08Three hours left of 24, Jack takes the former president hostage. You want to get through this thing alive, you're going to do exactly what I say. Now, his hunger for justice may cost him his life. I sure hope you know what you're doing. Guess I ain't no coming back from it. I wasn't planning on coming back. 24, the final hours, right after the season finale of House. Tonight. Starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then, right after Fox, watch Fox 5 News at 10 with Kathleen Bade and Candace Gibson. All the day's news, all in HD. Watch Fox 5 News at 10 tonight. The Fox 5 Morning News has $100,000. You've got 60 seconds to snatch your share. The Fox 5 $100,000 cash grab powered by Viejas Casino. Win weekday mornings. With AT&T high-speed internet, you can connect to the internet at blazing fast speed. Boom, I'm checking out a live feed of the news. And now, today's headlines from around the world. Fast, right? See, home high-speed internet from AT&T has blazing fast speed, so it's easy to download funny videos, like this dog on a unicycle. That's strange. And just as quickly, I can do a little social networking. Lisa is craving a slice of pizza. Lisa got these cool glasses on sale. And high-speed internet from AT&T also includes access to the nation's largest Wi-Fi network at no extra charge.

25:26Hey, can you guys keep it down? Rude. You're the one with all the browser windows open, mister. Switch to high-speed internet from AT&T. Starting at just $19.95 a month with no home phone required. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT or visit att.com slash no cord. Taxes, excessive usage, and other charges apply. Quoted price for internet direct basic up to 768k speed and requires one year term commitment. DSL modem or router required. For details, visit att.com slash offer details. So what do you want to do tonight? I don't know. You are so hard to read. Are we having a fight in the convenience store? I just wish you were more like this new Coors Light cold activation window. It's a hole in the box, Rob. Look, it's a window to refreshment. I know the beer is cold before I buy it because I can see the mountains are blue on the labels. Fine, then get the Coors Light and invite your friends over tonight. That's a great idea. I will. The new cold activation window from Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. This summer, it's all about going on natural. See, with Pop Chips, you take a little heat, you add some pressure and pop, you get all natural Pop Chips with all the flavor and less than half the fat. Pop Chips, they're a tasty new way of popping in all the flavor. The chip ends up so crispy and delicious, it's got to be healthier. So grab a bag at your local Ralph's and leave your regrets behind. Pop Chips, never fry, never bake.

26:44Think Popped. Pop on over to FM949SD.com for your chance to win a No Regrets New Orleans vacation, courtesy of Pop Chips and our friends at STA Travel. We are the members of Navy Federal. Some of us come from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and the Department of Defense. Some of us have families who do. As we serve our country, we also buy cars, finance homes, educate our children, and plan for retirement. During it all, Navy Federal is there. For over 75 years, they've been there. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. NavyFederal.org Equal Housing Lender. Wow, what's that? A new car? Yeah, I just got it. What kind of car is it? It's a Volkswagen Eos hardtop convertible. Wow, that's a Volkswagen? Where'd you get it? I got it at Classic VW in Escondido. It was so worth shopping at Classic. I went online and looked for a Better Business Bureau accredited VW dealer and found that Classic Volkswagen is the only VW dealer in San Diego County with an A+. That's A plus rating by the Better Business Bureau. Why would I go anywhere else? I was going to get a Jetta. And then I looked at the new Beetle convertible. But you know us girls. We have the right to change our minds. So when the super friendly Classic salesperson showed me the EOS, I was all done. Classic VW in Escondido. Did you get a good deal? Huh, I got the best deal ever.

28:07My parents got it for me. Maybe your parents aren't getting you a Volkswagen, but you will still be able to get a great deal for yourself on any new or certified pre-loved Volkswagen at Classic VW in the Escondido Auto Park or on the web at ClassicVW.com. Ratings as of 428.10. After reading, after discussing, after searching, you realize that at this school you don't memorize the answers to questions, you ask them. The Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Innovators under construction. Learn more at rady.ucsd.edu. This report is brought to you by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. Fremont Street Experience in downtown Vegas presents Summer of the 70s free concerts with Gloria Gaynor performing on May 29th. Go to VegasExperience.com for more info. Looks like the 15 northbound before Mira Mesa Boulevard. We've got a traffic cone in the number five lane. They're running a traffic break to clear it. And Encinitas on the five northbound before Encinitas Boulevard. There is an accident over on that left shoulder.

29:04Car hit the center divider, starting to back up in the area. And a spin out here in Carlsbad on the 5 northbound before Tamarack Avenue. It's in the slow lane, major front end damage, and it looks like there could be some injuries there. This report also brought to you by CarMax. The easiest way to sell your car is to take it to CarMax today for a free appraisal. Smart choice is CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I used to look like Rerun. Sienna. When they're real, you know. Woods. I'm a napper. I love to nap now. Lauren. Yep, I admit that I'm wrong. And Jay. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. I'm just waiting. The depths give up that day. What did you expect to find? Got a girl, Sienna, picking the music today. A little fuel. That's Hemorrhage. Welcome back to the Mikey Show. I got to get right to it, man. I want to hear what's going on. New witness with the Lawrence Taylor case. Well, the wait is over. I got the text this morning. The San Diego Brewers are in the playoffs. Look at that. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, now if you are unfamiliar with the San Diego Brewers, I mean, how could you be? It's the team that Woods plays on. Yeah, baseball team. It's not professional. No, we pay to play. But it's also not Little League. No, and it's not softball. Yeah.

30:57No. It's hardball. Yeah, it's hardball. And we had a lot of M1s that went out to his game and actually cheered him on, which, by the way, Woodsy said, please do that again because it kind of pumped him up. Did you go, Mike? No, I didn't. No, I didn't. But, hey, thanks for asking that right on the air and, you know, making sure everybody knows that I didn't. But love you, Woods. Love you too, man. We weren't there either. It's okay. We had a must win yesterday. Lauren's like, I was there. Yeah, Lauren wasn't there either. But we had a must win, and then if we won, another team had to lose. So it wasn't really in our hands, but we had to take care of business, and we did. We beat the Gnomes 6-5. A big shout-out to our pitcher, Dan DuPont, went nine innings. Went the whole game. In defense of the other team, it was actually Lawn Gnomes. They actually played Lawn Gnomes. No wonder you won. And your boy had probably the best day of his entire life. Ever. I know why. Yesterday. Why? Yeah, Sienna knows why. Because of the mustache. It's the stache. It's never, I'm never. I told Jamie when I was getting ready, I go, hey, listen, if I get a bunch of hits today and play well, the stache stays. We've just grown a mustache. Just a mustache. He finally shaved the beard, yeah. It's repugnant. But I had three hits, knocked in three runs, scored two runs. We won six to five. My boy Baker made a game-saving catch in the ninth with the bases loaded.

32:15Sienna's laughing. I don't blame her. It was ridiculous. Sienna's laughing. I don't blame her. I'm trying so hard. Why? Shut up. It's like, how could I not laugh? It's his top story. 100% it's my top story. It's his top story. That's why they call it Woods on Sports. M1's Danny, Ryan, Tim, and Baystring all came out to watch. Now they're toast. I need them there every single week. They're going to need to be there. Good luck with that, guys. Switching gears a little bit. It was a rough. Rough weekend for the Padres, man. They started the weekend with a three and a half game lead in the West. Now it's only a half game because they got swept by the hated L.A. Dodgers. That's okay. That's okay, Sienna. You know what we'll do? We'll get right back on the horse and we'll just, we'll come back. I think, I don't know. That's what you have to do because I'll tell you what, the Giants, who are in second place, are here tonight and tomorrow. I just got my boyfriend, the Padres, out to dinner with some other girl. Yeah. And that's how I feel. You can't win every time. You can't win them all. Got to be a fan through thick and thin. That's right. It doesn't get any easier for those guys. But it was rough yesterday because Wade LeBlanc gave up two hits and lost. Their offense is really struggling, man. I will say this for the Padres. The Giants are a good boost for the Padres. The Dodgers. And the Giants.

33:38The Dodgers and the Giants? Yep. Who are we playing now? The Giants tonight. Tonight and tomorrow. We play the Dodgers over the weekend. We feast on the Giants. We've been feasting on the Giants all year. So we need to come out. They need to take it to them tonight. Also, the Celtics came out very hungry yesterday and beat the Orlando Magic in Orlando to take game one. Ray Allen, who's 35 years old, came out and scored 25 points to lead the Celts. Here's the Celtics' Paul Pierce on the keys to their team, Michael. It is cut one. We're a defensive team, and we feel like we... We want to get up into the guys' shooters and not allow them to get free looks. We feel like we got guys who can cover Dwight, such as Perk and Rasheed and Baby one-on-one. So I think that's going to be the key for us throughout the rest of the playoffs. But that's pretty much who we are. We're a defensive team, applies the pressure, and see what happens. That's right. I don't know very much about basketball, but I have a feeling that it's going to be the Lakers and the Celtics in the top two. That would be rad. That would be rad. Could you imagine? That would be awesome. Next game is tomorrow night in Orlando. And, Mike, go ahead and play Cut 2 right now.

34:38Jackson Ben closing the rut. Let's see it between horses. Jackson Ben looking at Lucky. First dude. And you want to twist with the outside. You're looking at Lucky. You're looking at Lucky in the Preakness. Go win it by a half leg. First dude, Jackson Ben. And fourth was you want to twist, followed by Dublin Patio Prado Super Saver to the back of the pack. That's exciting, and I don't care who you are. Exactly, dude. Looking at Lucky, who was supposed to win the Kentucky Derby, ran a victory in the second leg of the Triple Crown, the Preakness. But neither he or the winner of the Kentucky Derby, Super Saver, will race in the Belmont. So you're going to have three different winners for the Triple Crown this year. And also, Michael, a woman has come forward as a defense witness in the sexual assault case against Lawrence Taylor. She said that the teenager in question came back to the car and said, quote, it was weird. We didn't even have sex. Lawrence Taylor is due in court again on June 10th. Really? So the defense has this witness who is a prostitute or a stripper, one of the two. But that's going to be kind of their star who heard this girl say that. So what is the weirdest thing a coach has ever made you guys do?

35:50Run laps. Yeah, right. I mean, you run laps. Yeah, suicides. What is that? Oh, it's when you have to sprint and then put your, like, if you're on a basketball court, you have to touch the line. Sprint to the other side, touch the line. I had a coach try to maybe do a backflip. Really? Well, I think this one takes the cake. At South Tahoe High, a girl's softball coach made her players drink soda. after out of another player's shoe. Ew. After they struck out. Yum. So there was eight girls that struck out. They all had to drink soda out of another player's cleat. What? So disgusting. It's disgusting. It's not as bad as Indian food, though. Nasty. What a weirdo. Did he get in trouble? It's a she. She? Yeah, she's had to apologize. She had to apologize. It's going to turn into a big deal. It's a prank that went too far. You know, but that's just, I kept thinking, I know what my cleats smell like, and I kind of vomit. Gross. Yeah, seriously. So, finally, Kyle Busch, he actually won the race yesterday in Dover, Delaware. You know what, man? I'm really glad you're doing that, Woods. Why is that? You know what? I've been thinking to myself, that's something you should have done a long time ago, man. What's that? NASCAR?

37:06Yeah, why don't you report on NASCAR? I do, every now and then, if it's exciting. And I got another idea for you, too. It's weird that you're a big fan of NASCAR, by the way. Why is that weird? I don't know. You tell me. I don't think it's strange at all, man. In fact... I was being sarcastic. I think all of San Diego is NASCAR fans. You just don't realize it. There's a few things y'all need to do. And I think both the blondie over there and red... Yep. Y'all know this, too. We live in a town, San Diego. that speaks Mexican. Spanish. Spanish, yeah. Right? And it's important for every... I tell you, just ask Esparza. He'll tell you. It's like home for you, right, Esparza? It's like a little brown town heaven all for you. Oh, gosh. Your little Spanish amigos running around town and everything. Y'all need to start embracing Mikey's heritage. Take advantage. Grab the iron while it's hot. We do, Hoyle. Don't you see? We order Mexican food almost every morning. Mama test this. It's delicious. It ain't enough. It ain't enough. You got to capitalize on the fact that you got a Spanish kid here that's a host of the show. His heritage. Y'all are losing market if you don't grab the bull by the horn. Mikey doesn't even really speak Spanish, though. It don't matter what. You don't even speak Spanish, do you? I do, too, speak Spanish. Where'd you learn Spanish? I learned it.

38:30I learned it at class. In Spanish class? I learned it in Spanish class. I learned it watching my stories. What stories? Telenovelas. My novellas. Yeah. Watched Telemundo. And they got the stories on that. You watch those? Yeah, I love them. In Spanish? Yes, I do. Pretty girls. Those are very pretty girls in there. That's where I've learned to speak Mexican. If I hadn't started watching Telemundo, I wouldn't even know how to speak Mexican. I picked it up also on spring break. I took a cruise to Cancun with my mama last year. With your mom. That's right. Nice. How was that? How was the cruise? Yeah. It was good except one time I didn't finish on my veggies and she didn't let me to the pool next day. Wow. And she makes me wear SPF 75 and it's all over my face. It's all white and everything. Did you at least get your own room? No. Y'all share the room. Why are you going on spring break with your mom? I know. Well, how else would you go on spring break? With your buddies. Buddies. A chick. Let me take a girl with you.

39:34Let me do that. You're a grown man. You run a radio station. I understand that. Allegedly. Allegedly. The rule is if you still live at home, it's their rule. It's their house. Maybe you move out. Their house, their rules. That's right. Oh, maybe pigs fly out of my butt. That's going to happen. Like, I'm going to move out. So, but here's the problem. I do Woods on Sports. It's my sports segment. It's called Woods on Sports. I don't speak Spanish. Do it like this. Do it where you do sports and then you just repeat the sports in Mexican. Or I'll translate. All right, so... Let me translate. Do this. Okay. Do this story? Do your NASCAR story. Okay. Can I come to the microphone? Yeah, come on up. Ready? This is nice. All right, this is good. Ready? Cushy little chair. Why don't we do it like this? You do the story, and then I'll translate in Mexican. Okay. Kyle Busch would like to believe he would have defeated Jimmy Johnson. Why are you laughing? Why do you have to change your voice? Okay, hold on. I'm doing translation, all right? Oh, okay. Isn't that the way it goes? Even without the four-time champion making a rare pit road mistake. First of all, dude, you're interrupting. I can't concentrate. That's what happens. You have to keep up. Gotta oil your craft.

41:00I'm hoiling my crap. I've got to block you out. Block me out and then do it. All right, I'm going to start from Wynn Johnson. Ready? When Johnson was penalized for speeding on me. Under all of Jimmy Johnson included sin alquilar. Multidarar por excessio. Well, you're good. Your voice is so deep when you speak Spanish. That's how you do translations. But you have to make your voice all deep? I'm not making it deep. It just happens because I'm a professional. So when I hear him speak Mexican and I'm going to redo it, that's how you do it. Now I'm going to start with Johnson made a quick burst, okay? Johnson made a quick burst out of the box. Oh, my God. I'm raising the ratings right now with your Latinos. I bet you are. That's probably true. The Mikey Show will now excel in Latinos 18 to 34 years of age just by doing that. That's all you got to do. Well, I'll let me I'll promise you this. I'll mull it over and see if see if, you know, it's going to work for me. But I don't know. It's kind of I got five words for you. Distracting. Poil your craft. That's three words. Three words. Wow.

42:19Well, it was weird. It was really weird. Strange guy. Hey, nobody talked about the Flyers game. Hello. What happened with that? I know you're a Philly fan. They won six to nothing. Really? Six to nothing. Yes. Way to go. Would you watch one second? No, she wouldn't. No. I saw it on Facebook. Yeah, you need a TV to watch sports, too. So, if you're from the part of New Jersey that Lauren's from, you're a Philly fan. Yep. I thought you'd be a Devils fan. Nope. New Jersey Devils. The stadiums are closer to Philly than they are to us. That's the bit, huh? That's how you do it. Jersey, New York. North Jersey, New York. Let's see. Tell me the story. Tell me the story, Sienna, about the... I'm going to kill Woods right now. Why? Because he went through my stories and he took some of them and now he can't find it. I took one of them. Maybe go to Woods on this one. Woodsie is a bit... I know the story. I can tell the story. But all the facts are on the article. He is a tornado. He is. He's a bit of a tornado. Don't throw your papers at me. They didn't even separate. Talk to me about the kangaroo. We'll give you the gist of it. There's a kangaroo in Australia.

43:36That's been harassing women. There's been multiple different accounts of women, you know, going on jogs and this kangaroo coming up to them, you know, in the middle of nowhere by parks and places where women shouldn't jog alone. Just women, by the way, which is so strange. Kangaroo also harassed another mother of three when no one else was around. And all of these women that have made these phone calls and the police have gotten a lot of phone calls about this one kangaroo in a certain area that is. Bit of a horny kangaroo. Really? Yeah. Randy. They actually described it as Randy. Yeah, he's Randy. They have one thing on his mind, yep. Let's just ponder what it might have sounded like for somebody to call 911 about that. Things have gone wrong. Utility line, may I help you? G'day, things have gone wrong. I've gone for a jog, and I'm being followed by the kangaroo. I don't know what it's doing on the trail. But it's been following me for a couple kilometers now, and I'm a bit scared. Some sort of rousty roo on the do-way, huh? Yeah, that's another way you could put it, I'm sure. But I'm not sure what to do, because I've asked her to leave quite a few times. Is the wallaby there now? Oh, it's not a wallaby. It's a kangaroo, but... What the hell's the difference? There's a difference between the two of them? Oh, you know the difference, mate. All right. Just a second, Ben. Okay.

44:57Yeah, what's up, player? Is this the Rue in question? Yeah, man. What are you doing? Aw, man, just trying to get me a little action, man. It's been a while. Hey, yo, girl. Yo, why don't you let me buy you a drink? Leave me alone. Just let me buy you one drink, girl. I ain't going to hurt you. What's the matter with you, Rue, giving the girl a scare like that? Not, you know, that you can get in a lot of trouble for this. Aw, man, I'm a kangaroo, dog. Why are you doing that? Now, do me a favor. Off with you now. Leave her alone. And when she comes back, mate... Yo, man, you need to... You better keep your eyes on your own paper, man. Listen, girl. Come on, let me buy you a Foster's. Get in my pouch, girl. Come on. Hey. I'm not getting in your pouch. Come on, girl. Listen to me for a minute. Listen to me for a minute. Is that a Joey in your pocket? Are you just happy to see it? I'm just trying to interject a little humor. Yeah, that's not really funny, dog. I'm trying to get my roll on over here, man. All right, off with you then, you stupid wallaby, whatever you are. Roo. I'm a kangaroo, dog. I got it. And I ain't from here, man. All right, first of all, pull your pants up, put your hat back on strike, and then get out of there. Leave her alone. Yeah, don't worry about me, player. Hang up the phone. You can't even hold the phone with your tiny little hands. Get in my pallet. That's a randy little outfit.

46:20Sounded like an Irish woman with a southern accent. I'm a kangaroo, dog. You sound like Snoop Dogg. Yeah, maybe she didn't quite know where she was. Maybe that was the deal. She was very scared. I mean, the kangaroo's running after her. Scared the accent right out of her. That's right. Yeah, because I wasn't mad. It was good. 570-1949 is our number. 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to. Lindsay Lohan just got interviewed about her upcoming court appearance and all that stuff and had this to say about her career. What do you have to say to people that doubt you and think your career is over? I feel like there's always people that are going to say certain things, so I just try to not acknowledge it. I think a lot of it distracts from the fact that I got into this to be an actress and to be an entertainer on many different accounts. But, I mean, I feel like the more that you welcome that kind of energy into your life, you know, the worse it is. I'd like to be positive as much as possible. I think I might actually agree with Lindsay Lohan. I know. When did Sienna get interviewed? She does sound like you. People say we look alike, we sound alike. You do.

47:37How odd is that? I don't like negative energy at all. I didn't even find it. I just don't. I think that's why I'm like the only person that she doesn't actually bother. I don't mind her. She doesn't bother me. I feel bad for her in the way that she can't get out of her own way kind of thing. Can't get out of her own way. I know she brings it on herself. I understand that. But I feel bad for people to bring it on themselves. If it were up to me, I'd wave a little magic wand. Everybody wouldn't bring it on themselves. Plus, I've been there where I used to bring it on myself. Fair enough. I think she's actually kind of a good actress. You do? Yeah. See, the only thing I remember is Mean Girls. Mean Girls is great. Parent Trap, she was really good, you know, when she was like 12 years old. Freaky Friday, she was really good. Yeah, she had to play her twin twice, right? No, she had to be a mom in Freaky Friday. She had to play the role of a mom. Part of it is, part of the problem is that she's also got wacky parents. Yeah. Dana Lohan and Michael Lohan are her parents. The worst. And Michael Lohan's a buddy of Topper's. Oh, yeah. And Topper's a nutbag. Right. But, yeah, that Michael Lohan. Do you know that he's marrying John Gosselin's, one of his, like, flings that he had when he and Kate split up? Wow. Now Michael Lohan is marrying one of those girls. It's another buddy of Topper's. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I think to myself.

49:01Is there a special sort of judgment set aside for those parents that are doing their kids harm in the way that he is? Yeah, of course. Selfishly for himself. It's ridiculous. The way that he gets himself in the limelight is to cause harm to his daughter. Talking about her, doing his thing, talking about her. Do you want to comment on anything on your dad or is that just something you want to talk about? I just wish he would just shut up. Isn't there a way to, you know, whatever happened to you, slander, people slander, like, isn't that, I don't know how people can still allow him to continue to do such things, and even TMZ, I just think it's horrible what they do, to people in general. Yeah, I think it definitely, TMZ, they have nothing nice to say, but. No, it's negative, bad karma. That is sad. It's like, stop asking him questions. Stop letting him, you know, get interviewed. He's just slamming his kid. The definition of slander is character assassination. Yep. He's done, right? Oh, yeah, for sure. Uh, libel. That's so sad. Malicious gossip falls under the definition of slander. Yeah. And I agree with her about the TMZ stuff. I, I'm not a fan. See, here's the deal.

50:23Here's me being an old guy. When I was a kid, there was the National Enquirer. And it gossiped about people and whatever. The thing that is different about today that didn't exist, and I'm 39, that didn't exist when I was a kid was they didn't do the deal where they made fun of people the way that they do now. Then it was just gossip. It was just them telling a story that maybe wasn't true or was maybe gossip. But there wasn't this angle of mockery, laughter, all that kind of stuff. And all I can think to myself as I read it is, if that were me, as insecure as I am, oh my gosh, it would devastate me too. There's the thought process of, well, you know, who doesn't have that stuff written about them? But that's not necessarily true because they write that about everybody. Regardless of who they are, you get jammed up. Dude, and it's also, you know, hey, look how fat they are on the beach. I was thinking about, I mean, dude, I was thinking about how repulsive I would look in a beach shot with me in my board shorts running around. I would be repulsive. And they post the absolute worst shot that they can get of you. And meanwhile.

51:32All you're doing is go on the beach with your kid or whatever. Yeah, I'm trying to have a good day, man. And, you know, you got to take pictures of my fat gut. Yeah, I get tagged in pictures sometimes by, like, friends or whatever. And I'm like, oh, gosh. It's the worst. Why would you put that? I'll untag it or whatever. But it's like, if you're in the spotlight. You can't untag it. Yeah, with your friends. You can't untag it on the National Enquirer or TMZ. Exactly. Yeah, and with your friends, you can say, hey, bro, do me a favor with that one, right? Take that down. You can't do that with the TMZ and the National Enquirer, all that stuff. But in addition to that, your friends aren't, you know, circling your face and going, hey, nice potholes. Yeah, dude. And, you know, that's why Jamie and I have had this talk before. And I'm like, you know, if I was a celebrity, like a big movie star, I would be the Sean. I'm positive I would be the Sean Penn. I'm positive I would be. Yeah. Because if you shove a camera in my face, I'm walking out of a restaurant. Your camera's going down. It just is. I know myself. And it's hard. You know, some people say, well, you got to just say, oh, hey, how you guys doing? Get your picture. Let me go. But I know it would eat at my soul after a while. But didn't you give Travis Barker a hard time for doing the same thing? Yeah, but I take it back. I was wrong. Yeah. Wow. Look at that. That's awesome, Woodsy. Just wanted that announced on the air. Why don't you get it? I just admitted that he was wrong. I did. The more and more I've thought about it.

52:56I agree. I would be the guy like, dude, get away from me. I'm going to kill you. I would like to go into commercial break ignoring this, but I can't. That takes such guts to do that. What? Admit when you're wrong. Yeah, it sucks. But dude, my respect for that is cuckoo. Woods is used to it. He has to do it a lot. I know. We're out here especially. Woods, he's putting the fake gun in his mouth and pulling the trigger. Listen, I got respect for that. I have such... crazy respect for when people are able to go, you know what, I was wrong. You hear people do that about .00009.25% of the time. Yeah, why are we bringing up old stuff? I'm just saying. You get it. I'm just making for interesting conversation. Oh, I got some interesting conversation. Have you guys heard about Russell Crowe storming out of the interview with the BBC? Have you heard about this? No. Just ripped my pants again. Did you really? Yeah. Did you? Yeah, you know that. Once he tears the crotch out of every pair of jeans. Yep, just ripped them again. Pack and heat. News is coming in today, too. Pack and heat. I have audio of Russell Crowe leaving this interview. I can't wait. You'll get to hear what got him so upset. I love it. Next. Coming to the Mikey Show. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. A message from the Mazda 6 sports sedan to its competitors.

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1:00:45This report is brought to you by In-N-Out Burger. In-N-Out Burger, where nothing is chemically processed, prepackaged, or frozen. Everything is still made the old-fashioned way. In-N-Out, that's what a hamburger is all about. Heading on that 5 northbound through Encinitas, right before Encinitas Boulevard, an accident on the left shoulder. They're just waiting on tow trucks right now. And in Escondido on the 15 southbound between the 78th and 9th Avenue. Pretty much stop-and-go traffic. It's in the teens right now. This report also brought to you by CarMax. CarMax will buy your car today. If you don't buy one from them, that's why the smart choice is always CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Trees are green, red roses too. I see them bloom. I'm near you. Beautiful song on a Monday. It's very good. Louis Armstrong. Hey, Mike. Yeah? I just wanted to take one quick second before we get started to wish really good luck for our friend of the show, Johnny Rizzo. He's having surgery today. Yeah. And he's a huge fan and just wanted to tell him that we love you and hang in there and I'll see you later, my brother. We love you, Riz. We love you, dude. He's a good dude. Yes, he is, man. One of the best. Let's see. All right, so.

1:02:24Russell Crowe, if you didn't know this, Russell Crowe is a bit of a hothead. He's gotten in trouble for, he went to a hotel one time and got upset with the bell person or something and he threw a phone at him. He's like Naomi Campbell. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Bjork. Yeah, Bjork too. She's got a temper. Anyway, so here is Russell Crowe being interviewed by the BBC. He's talking about where he comes from, the location of him, the accent you've given him. There are hints to me. He's talking about Robin Hood. That's Russell Crowe's new movie, Robin Hood, which my brother says is two and a half hours long. It's long. Is it out already? Yeah. And it's two and a half hours long. My sister said the same thing. How was it long? You know what else he said about it? It was long. My brother said it wasn't that great. I said, why? He goes, because they basically, all they do is set up the sequel. Oh, really? I'm like, oh, boy. For two and a half hours, they're setting something up. Kevin Carson already did Robin Hood. Why are they doing another one? Been done a few times. Men in Tights is great. Oh, yeah. Men in Tights. The Men in Tights. It's genius. So anyway, here he is being interviewed about his new movie, Robin Hood. He's talking about where he comes from, the location of him, the accent you've given him. There are hints to me of Irish, but what have you, what were you thinking of in those terms? You've got dead ears, man. You've seriously got dead ears if you think that's an Irish accent. Bullocks.

1:03:44I'm a little dumbfounded that you could possibly find any Irish in that character. That's kind of ridiculous, but it's your show. So you're going for Northern English? No, I was going for an Italian. Yeah. I'm so uncomfortable. And finally, you can either answer this or not. I'll just give you the chance because it's out there at the moment. As you know, the suggestion you didn't want to say the famous line in Gladiator in this book that has come out. Thank you. I don't get the Irish thing, brother. I don't get the Irish thing, brother? Is that what he said? Russell Crowe, who waved his cigarette in farewell. Robin Hood can be seen from today, not only in the character's native Yorkshire, but pretty much everywhere else. Yikes. Wow. Dude, don't take yourself so seriously, man. Please. I feel like Woods would respond the same way. Zero percent. No way. No way. No, I was trying to do an Italian accent. Oh, I would have said something smart-ass, but I would have laughed. I would have said, yeah, I was Italian, actually.

1:04:51And then I would have gone on with the interview. I wouldn't have been like, don't talk about my crap like this. I'm out. You definitely would have said that. No, I was turning into an Italian. No, it was Italian. Yeah, I would have been a smart guy. I got a question. Why is Russell Crowe still doing interviews? I know. If he's that sensitive, why is he still? He's a big enough star, right? Where you could go, I don't want to. I would be so sick to my stomach if I had to interview that guy. Oh, because you don't know. Listen. I've had Scott Weiland hang up on me twice. And I've had Dean DeLeo, the guitar player for the Stone Temple Pilots, want to come into the studio and yell at me. He yelled at my program director instead. And I said, why didn't you let him talk to me? Detroit! Yeah, not that program director. This was years ago. This was years ago. Dean DeLeo comes in to yell at Garrett. Garrett just goes, Detroit, Seattle. I don't know what to say. Philly. Right? Yeah. But now, speaking of Garrett, our program director, he asked me, hey, do you want to interview Stone Temple Pies? I'm like, what's the point? They're going to hang up on me. They're just going to hang up on me or get mad. And plus, as soon as the record person says, hey, you're going to be on the Mikey show, they'll be like, no, we're not. Really? Down that road. Yeah.

1:06:13Both of them have been mad at me. Because I just ask questions. I got an idea. What? Maybe let the kid take the reins on this one. Really? A hundred. Sure. But then you're going to just, aren't you just going to ask him about STP music? Yes. Yeah, I don't care. I don't care either. I don't care. Like, I get it. You did Vaseline. It's great. Great. I love it. I love the song Vaseline. Can we talk about your heroin addiction? Yeah. Does he not talk about that stuff? He gets real testy. Last time I talked to him, he goes, What is this, Barbara Walters? I go, no, it's Mikey, but I got questions, bro. Yeah. Sorry. My skin just crawled. Oh, dude, he got real testy. Because he's one of my top five heroes. Heroes? Yes, heroes. Why is he a hero? Because he's a brilliant, brilliant lyricist. Pepper's going to slay your throat. I'm going to slit her throat. She keeps challenging me. So many fights already today. I'm just sitting this far away. What did I give to you? She's going to get you. I'm just saying heroes. Pretty high status for somebody that wears manscara. Musical heroes. He's the most dynamic front man ever to live. By the way, Lauren, I don't mind you asking, but can you take your hand off his throat? Because you're holding him up against the wall as you ask the question. Because you put your butterfly knife and switchblade away. Yeah, it's a little. I will say that it was a little.

1:07:28Taking himself a little too seriously, Russell Crowe. Absolutely. Yeah. I just watched Cinderella Man over the weekend, too. And he's just like, seems like the best guy, you know? And you want to think he is. And then you hear stuff like that. And it's like, dang, man. Yeah. Pull it together. Pull it together. Have some fun, man. You make a billion dollars a year. You do movies. Have some fun. Cute little kid. Yeah. 570-1949 is the phone number. If you want to text in on this. 949mikey at gmail.com. You've known them. You've seen them. They may even be you. Woods just points them out. It's time for Dude, You're Dumb. Now this, the Dude, You're Dumb, it's that guy. That's the easiest way to describe it. It's the guy that you see that won't. It's the guy that you see anywhere out and about that does something that just annoys you. We call it that guy. Could be that girl, too. Yeah, it could be that little kid. It could be anything. Could be anything. A lot of people are dumb out there. I wouldn't call out a little kid. I would. Sometimes, though. Sometimes. That hamster. Yeah, the little kid running around the grocery store going, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. Mm-hmm. You just want some fruit roll-ups, you know? Yeah. Maybe somebody gets him the fruit roll-ups. Maybe a lunchable. Maybe some nutty bars. Maybe some nutty bars. What about the mom? That was Sienna. Mom, I want some friggin' nutty bars. What about the mom that calls?

1:08:53Her kid's name, a thousand times. Yeah, Paris. Paris. How about you go find Paris? Aiden. Aiden. Aiden. Aiden. Aiden. Right? Genius. Don't you finally want to go, Aiden, where are you? Please. Drives me nuts. That would be awesome. So I went to the people for this one. One of the guys on my baseball team, Sean, he's our catcher. He's great. He has also a fellow mustache wearer. He goes, hey, man, what's he? How about the guy? that wears his dickies so low that they touch his ankles, maybe just wear pants. Just wear pants. It's true. Just put pants on. What if you're five foot nothing like me and they just look like pants? Just wear pants. They're actually shirts. Woodsy, I have to take my pants off dolls, okay? Yeah, I know. What are you going to do? You're the exception to the rule. Todd and I were at the beach a couple weekends ago, and we saw a guy walking by, and he had his board shorts on with boxers underneath, and the top of his board shorts were touching the bottom of his butt cheeks. Of course. And he had to walk with his legs as far spread out as he could so that they wouldn't fall down. I was like, dude, just pull up your pants. Yes. How is that comfortable? Can you imagine how every one of our grandparents feel about that?

1:10:11Like, what is that? It's got to be the worst. How about the lazy jerk who puts his shopping cart in his parking space or in the parking space next to him and not in the corral? Hey, Chubbs, maybe you burn two extra calories and put it with the rest of them, okay? Lazy SOB. Oh, I hate you. I can't believe that it has taken this long to get to that guy. I hate that guy. I'm killing the music. We got to talk about that guy. I see people driving around to get, like, the most... Front parking spot. Right up front. When they're going to the gym. That's me. I'm not kidding. I'm like, did you go to the gym? I'll drive around an hour and a half. I could have been working out that whole time. I'm waiting for a good place to go to a gym. Yeah. Unbelievable. Hey, maybe jog in there, bro. Yeah. How about you park a few blocks away? Maybe get the heart rate going before you set foot in there. What about the person that puts on their hazards and just stays by the front spot being like, I'll wait. I'll do that. No, no, not by the spot. You know what I'll do is I'll drop the wife off and I'll sit in front. Oh, that's a good, as long as the hazards are on, that's a good move. But they'll just wait for a parking spot. Oh, no, I don't do that. I'm not parking back there. I'm waiting for the front one. Can we go back to the grocery cart guy? Oh, yeah, grocery cart guy. Grocery cart guy that leaves his grocery cart in the parking space, I guarantee you, is the same guy that's dropping S-bombs.

1:11:32and f-bombs when he wants a space oh yeah and somebody left the cart there you know our our overnight guy jesse was we were in here this morning we were talking about it and he said he said he was in his car about to back out and he saw this guy in his rearview mirror kind of looking around and left the cart right behind jesse's car and jesse was like hey dude i'm about to back out and the guy was like oh oh sorry dude sorry and it's like you d yeah put it in the corral so i didn't think anybody saw me Being a complete douche. Yeah, but you got caught. Yeah. When people push it to the end of like, okay, I get out of my trunk, I walk to the front of my car and just push it close to the little bumper thingy. Come on. Yeah, lazy. Walk 10 feet. I don't like the effort, but I do it. I don't like the time, the effort, the taking it. I like it. You know why I like it? Why? Because I do this bit. The corral is over here and I get about 15 feet away and I do the hard push and see if I can get it in there. It's my favorite thing. Oh, that makes me uncomfortable. I love it. What about when there's like already five different carts in one parking spot and that's like been designated the artificial corral? I have corralled them all and put them up before. Oh, see, I'll add to that. I'll tell you guys something that I do. I think that would shock you. But it's already messed up. I'm going to tell you guys something I do that I think would shock you.

1:12:53I ride my cart. I do, too. I do, too. That's so funny. I do, too. I ride the whole thing. Oh, you stand on it and ride it. Yeah, I'm seven. Yeah, I'm seven. I do that, too. You do it, too? I love it. Yeah, I do, too. Sienna, you do it? Oh, of course. I, like, paddle it like it's a skateboard down the aisle. Yeah, me, too. And then you do? Yeah. Oh, you ride it in the store. I don't do it in the store. I don't either. Oh, I ride it to the cart. If it's not crowded in the store, I'll be, like, down the produce aisle just, like. Do you do that in the parking lot? Both, yeah. Whole Foods? Yeah, at Whole Foods. You do that at Whole Foods, don't you? Isn't it a carriage at the Whole Foods, though? It's not actually a... It's a horse and buggy. It's a horse and buggy. You don't use aluminum carts here? I feel so good about the fact that we're all seven-year-olds. But I feel like I'm the only one that does it when I do it. I'm like, man, I am a big, giant baby. Well, you also dance your way out of trouble, so... She does. No, literally, she does a little dance to get out of trouble. It's hysterical. 570. 1-94-9. M1 Tree Wizards. Are you there? Hey. Whoa. Yeah. I just realized our phone bank is completely dead. It's black. Yeah. Our phones are completely broken here. It's not working. It is a Monday. Yeah, I know. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. Yeah, we need an engineer to fix that puppy because they're dead. They're completely out. That's killing. Thank you, Jay.

1:14:14Well, and then I got a piece of gold last night from LOB that had me rolling on my couch. What? This was so genius. How do you roll on a couch? I rolled on my couch. I have a sectional. You just keep rolling. I just keep rolling. Yeah, I have a sectional. You know that. How about the guy that puts his own name on his favorite team's jersey? Oh, my gosh. Right? Right? Who are you fooling, pal? Maybe wake up from Fantasyland. You work at the mall, okay? You're not a wide receiver for the Cowboys. All right, dude? Woods, 88. Oh, my gosh. I'm just relishing in that. Oh, I loved it. I'm relishing in that. I can honestly say, and you guys know what a lunatic sports fan I am about my teams, never done it. Never, ever, ever, ever. I was a little bit afraid he was going to be like, what's wrong with that? Now, I will apologize to the guys that are listening right now that are wearing it right now. Damn it, yeah. They're wearing their Charger jersey, and it says Martinez on the back of it right now. I'll apologize to you. I'm going to get filleted for it, but actually it was L.O.B., so have a ball filleting L.O.B. That's pretty funny. It's bad. You're not on the team. You're not. Hey, Martinez, you're not a tackle. You work at a kiosk in the mall, dude. Okay. You're not a Charger. I have an addition to that.

1:15:32What about the guys that you see out watching the games and he's, you know, out with his buddy and they're both wearing the same jersey, the same guy's jersey? It's like, hey, I know you guys have a bromance. Yeah. Chill out. It's weird. You got to change. You know, you're like, are you guys identical or fraternal? Me and my friends used to have this bit where we'd be like, oh, my gosh, don't look, don't look, don't look. I do the same thing. I do the same. I go, honey, look, Jay Novichek's here. Yeah, yeah, we'll be like, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Oh, my God, it's Tony Romo. Yeah, that's great. People are like, wait. It's a 400-pound dude in a Romo jersey, and I'm like, it's Tony Romo. That's why. It's Tony Romo. Because it's just some random person. But they're representing their favorite player. I know. It's just fun to do. I would do it to you, Sienna. I would be, me and you would be having lunch, and I would go, Sienna, do not freak out. that Danian Tomlinson is sitting right behind you. And you would get all excited and you'd turn around and it would be some white dude with a, you know, sitting there with a mustache and glasses. And you would laugh hysterically. I guess it'd be funny if you were somewhere like not watching the game and this guy just walked in. Yeah, that's the key. We'll be driving down the street and I'll go, yeah, I'll be like, hey, honey, look, Vincent Jackson. And it'll be just some big fat dude. It's funny when it's girls, too. Oh, yeah. I love that. 570-1949 is our number.

1:16:51Or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Why don't you text in for now? Yeah, you got to text because we're getting our phones fixed right now. Here's a text message that we got. Mikey, something I've been wondering about. Why do you almost always announce everyone's age when you're introducing them in the morning? I don't feel I need to know this, and I'm wondering if somewhere down the road, if this bit of information could somehow come back, end up biting your crew in their professional butt for some reason or the other. I've enjoyed the new show since day one, and you all seem to be getting better and better at your craft. That's M1 Ron Slate. The reason that I give everybody's age is because it's kind of a rule in radio that you want to paint a picture. Also, I want you to feel like everybody here on the show is somebody that you know personally. And I think it would be odd for you to get to know somebody really well and never know how old they are. And since you don't have the benefit of seeing us, you can't really take a guess at it. And so it's just it's painting an entire picture. And it's also letting you know, oh, I relate to that guy a little bit. I'm in my late 30s. I'm in my early 30s. Or maybe you're a girl and you're going, I'm pregnant and I'm 25 or I'm 29. And I'm a blonde girl, too, named Lauren. Maybe you relate. You know, it's that kind of deal.

1:18:17So, anyway, just wanted to let that, and I can understand, why does he do that? Why does he do that? Just painting a picture. I want to know how it would bite us in the book. Well, I know what he's saying, because, like, before I was doing radio, I was trying to act, you know? And so, you're very ambiguous about your actual age. And it's not, until you file the paperwork, it's not, you know, you don't have to necessarily divulge it. You divulge it when you're filing papers? I thought the same thing was. Oh, gosh. That's weird. It's different. Hi, I'm 34. I'm 34. No, you're not. You're seven years old. And it says just a lot about us. Like, I'm 25, so that's why I don't know a lot of the songs and things that you guys talk about. So, the Miss USA pageant was over the weekend. It was. And the winner is a beautiful girl, brunette. And what's her deal, Sienna? She's Arab-American, and she's 24 years old. Her name is Rima Faki. Whoa, easy. No, I believe that's the correct pronunciation. I think that's how you pronounce it, yeah. Made me very uncomfortable. I know, it made me really uncomfortable, too. She was crowned Miss USA last night, and she's from Michigan. She's a really, really pretty girl. Yeah. Now, Miss USA 2010. Now it's run by Donald Trump. He bought the rights to it, and he can run it however he wants to. You're fired. You're fired. This is Miss Oklahoma.

1:19:46being asked a controversial question about Arizona's new immigration law. Yes. These are the best. Okay, judge number two, Oscar Nunez, your question, please. They picked the Mexican, by the way, to ask the question. Of course. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. How are you? I'm doing so great. Thank you. All righty. What's he's hugging his arms like he's cold? He's so worried. Arizona's new immigration statute authorizes law enforcement authorities... To check the citizenship of anyone they believe may be in the country illegally. Now, listen to the question before you boo. Critics say this may amount to racial profiling. Do you think that this should be mandated by the state or by the federal government? Huge believer in states' rights. I think that's what's so wonderful about America. Hang on. Wait a second. I just have to say, there's already people booing. Yeah. And what she has said so far.

1:20:51I don't take any umbrage with that at all. It's the same deal. I believe that states should be able to sort of... Do their own thing. Yes. I think they're booing the question because... They're already booing her portion of the answer, what she's already said. I believe states should be able to do, you know, decide, make their own laws. I thought it was nothing but cheering. I heard cheering. Yeah, I think they're booing his question. Yeah, just because it's a taboo. Back it up. I'm a huge believer in states' rights. I think that's what's so wonderful about America. Guys, just cheers. There's no booze? Okay. So I think it's perfectly fine for Arizona to create that law. Oh, boy. And I am against illegal immigration, but I'm also against racial profiling. So I see both sides in this issue. Not a bad answer. She did good. Not a bad answer. I think she did good. I think so. I thought she was going to be like, uh? In my country. I do think it's funny whenever you hear somebody say that they're against something that everybody's against. Well, you know what? I'm against genocide. I just want to take a stance on that. Really? There are always the obvious answers that they're trained to give. I don't think it's her way of saying she's not that knowledgeable on the subject. I had to judge a pageant this weekend. And I will tell you what. The interview portion of the bit.

1:22:18I've never been so nervous in my life because you're looking at these girls and you're like, man, they're really putting themselves out there. And you ask them a question and you're like, please give a good answer. Please give a good answer. It's nerve wracking. Sure. It's nerve wracking. Plus they're sitting right there in your lap and it's just so awkward. Nothing but a bikini. Nuzzling my neck. Yeah. It's awkward. It was weird. Plus he's got his eyes closed. That was a joke, everybody. My goodness. I was joking. Everybody take it easy. What's the matter with you people? I was joking. Come on. Don't you know a joke when you hear one? Sienna's picking the music, Michael Jackson, The Way You Make Me Feel. Hey, remember Friday we were talking about the seven-year-olds that were doing the risque dance? Oh, yeah. If you haven't heard about this, there's video of it everywhere. It's been all over the news. You've been sleeping under a rock if you haven't heard this story, but there's these seven-year-old girls dressed in like stripper outfits, and they're wearing a bra. Boy short booty shorts. All lacy, knee highs. Knee highs. Creepiest thing ever. There's seven. We talked about it on Friday, and we were like, what are these parents thinking? Well, one of the parents went on Good Morning America and tells us exactly what she's thinking, and we'll play it next. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9.

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1:29:10Is that a text? Yeah, from Chase. It's an instant action alert. Our checking balance is low. We did pay bills this morning. And picked up the dry cleaning. And got lunch. No big deal. I'll just move some money into checking now. That would have been a bummer. Getting an overdraft to pay for cupcakes. Cupcakes. So we're going across the street to the bakery now, huh? You got it. I'll just text back and transfer some money from savings and that's it. Huh. Alerts that let you transfer money instantly by text. Banks don't do that. Chase does. Introducing instant action alerts from Chase. Now you can act on account alerts in real time and help avoid overdrafts with a touch of a button. Stop into a branch today to learn more. Chase what matters. So with all this cupcake talk, I guess I'm off the hook for making milkshakes. You wish. There is no charge from Chase, but message and data rates may apply from your wireless provider. Qualifying Chase transfer account required. JP Morgan, Chase Bank N8, member FDIC. Looking for a better way to get from point A to point B? Mercedes-Benz has the answer. The C300 sports sedan. Lease one for $349 a month. Visit your San Diego County Mercedes-Benz dealers today. This report is brought to you by the Metropolitan Water District of Southern California. Southern California has a water shortage. Help conserve by limiting showers to five minutes. That saves 300 gallons every month. What more can you do?

1:30:21Find out at BeWaterWise.com. Heading on the 67 Slaughterhouse Canyon Road, we have a car that spun out east sideways on that right shoulder. And El Cajon a little slowing on the 8 westbound between Greenfield Drive. Also, 2nd Street, pretty much stop and go this morning. Escondido looks like on the 15th southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway. We do have stop and go traffic. It's slowing about 18 miles an hour in some spots. This report, it is also brought to you by SeaWorld. SeaWorld's festival of Latin music, food, and fireworks ends this weekend. Performing live at Shamu Stadium on May 22nd, AP Quintanilla y Cumbia All-Stars. And on May 23rd, Elvis Crespo. Elvis Crespo, that's in place of Elvis Presley. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Monday morning being brought to you by Guayaquil Yerba Mate. Guayaquil is teaming up with your local Jimbo Naturally Markets to give you a chance to win one of two custom-built Rusty Surfboards to your specifications. So stop by any of those Jimbo's locations.

1:31:30And while you're picking up some fine product lines that they sell, including Guayaquil Yerba Mate, sign up to get a chance to win one of those custom rusty surfboards. Surf-wise today looking weaker and bleaker as that southwest swell continues to fade off. Combine that with a negative low tide at dawn and in early southwesterly wind. And looking pretty rag-taggy out there. Running in that knee-to-waste-high zone on average, chest-high plus at standout spots. Beach is pretty section-y again with a texture on it. Top south-facing reef area is looking just a bit cleaner. But even though the wind's not as bad, that lower tide is sucking a lot of life out of it. Can't recommend anywhere right now to go out surfing. Might want to wait for the day to continue, see if the tide push will help it out. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. For everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops, five locations. And today, only at South Coast, Wayne and Sea in Pacific Beach, meet all the crew from Firewire Surfboard. It's going to be down there showing the new boards and having a demo. session for you to ride, and Neb will be there to talk about the designs as well heading into the future. So for up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, once again, surfline.com. This surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.

1:33:08Coming out to the mound. And now he does it in Chicago. Remember when we met him, buddy? Yeah, we saw him at Rorick Cadillac. It was awesome. Me and Woodsy. I was man-crushing so bad. It's pretty cool, man. It's very cool. And he was a real nice guy. He stopped and he talked to us a little bit. He had his Alabama hat and shirt on. Yeah, he did. It was pretty cool. Welcome back to Mikey Show. There are five people on the Mikey Show. Myself. And Woodsy and Lauren and Sienna and Jay. Let's see. You guys ready for the chicken salad sandwich today for the big show meeting we're going to have? Sure. I'm not going to fight it because they have the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever had. Yeah. And it's not that the food is we love the food, but it's like we do the same thing every week. But I like, you know, structure. You guys know that. It's like Groundhog Day. Yeah. I like structure. Only reason I mention it is because I know that a lot of people can relate to trying to get.

1:34:09a group of five people to agree on the same thing for lunch. Five children. Yeah, it's pretty tough. So last week we talked about the seven-year-olds that were dancing in this video that we see. By the way, Sienna, what is it? Why are they? Is it a play? Is it a, what is it? It was some sort of talent competition. I had the article last week when we were talking about it, but it's six and seven-year-olds and they're dancing to Beyonce's Oh My Single Ladies, Oh My Single Ladies, that song. And they are just doing the most risque dancing that like cheerleaders don't even do. You know what I mean? Like at football games. They're wearing bras. Wearing less than NFL cheerleaders. It was the Future Slutes of America talent competition. Lacy underwear, basically. The FSA. For sure. Makeup, hair all blown out. Knee highs. And so we all were talking about it. And I actually was waiting for some people to start calling and go, oh, please, grow up, you know. Why don't you? calm down, you sound like an old fogey. No one did. No way. These girls were throwing themselves on the floor while they were dancing. They were, they were. And we were, so anyway, we were talking about how inappropriate we all thought it was. And we said, what would the parents of these people have to say about it?

1:35:26Here's one of the mothers on Good Morning America. I first saw this yesterday, and I have to admit, I couldn't stop watching the video. Creepy. But felt like I should. And, you know, obviously a lot of parents agree with me. What's your response? Well, you have to remember that you're watching a video at a dance competition. These girls were performing at a dance competition. Really? Because when we watched it, we thought it was a singing competition. So thank you for clarifying. too naive to realize oh that explains it yeah this was a dance competition now it makes sense why seven-year-olds would be dressed as strippers right essentially and they weren't performing this for a worldwide audience and so it's been taken

1:36:20who would it make sense that they're performing to? Yeah, just the local flavor. It's not a big deal, Mike, just because it's a local talent show. Of course it... Even if your child, they were dressed in a way that even if your child was performing by themselves in their bedroom, you'd be like, what are you doing? Put something on. Thank you. Like in their own home is not appropriate. Right. Out of context. And so if you keep in mind that this was at a dance competition and these are the kinds of routines that you see in that environment. then that takes away all of the negativity that's been surrounding us. Frame it for me, Mom, because I obviously don't get the context. You've got to frame it for me. It hasn't been done yet. I still haven't heard why it is that because it's not a worldwide audience it was intended for, it somehow makes sense. Well, if you saw... First of all, if you saw me do that in that outfit, you guys would all be uncomfortable. 100%. Even if you saw high schoolers doing that routine at a national dance competition, you'd feel uncomfortable. I never thought about that. But she's right. If we saw high school girls doing it, we'd be like, holy cow. Hey, Lauren, is there a chance that you're going to dress up? I mean, I'm just asking. If you guys want me to reenact it, if it makes it...

1:37:42You know, if you can relate to it more. Maybe the Mikey show does it at the next meet and greet. I'll get the video camera. I'll be right in. Hold on. Maybe I do it and people barf. Maybe I do it and people barf, too. I'm repugnant with my clothes on. We should try to just, like, we'll keep our clothes on, but just try to do the dance. No, I'm dressing up. So here she is explaining mom, explaining why the outfits were so skimpy. In terms of the costuming, The costumes are designed for movement and unrestricted movement. Well, then why not just be nude? That's what I said. I was like, that's going to be the bit. That's what I said last week. You called it. You said the thing is going to be, well, and I think you even said it exactly like she just said it. It's, oh, they need to be able to move around. You know, you wouldn't want to restrict these girls with appropriate attire. No, absolutely not. They couldn't move. What are you going to do? That's why strippers are naked. Right. I mean, listen. If we had put them in appropriate attire, they probably wouldn't have been able to move their arms. I mean, I'm trying to see where she's coming from. And still, it's like, put them in leggings and a tank top. Like, they can move around just fine in that. Do you think that mom heard all the criticism, that any of the moms heard the criticism and went, we really messed up here? Nope. Or did they all go, why don't y'all get out my face?

1:39:07No, I'm sure there's a couple of them that were like, you know, like I maybe questioned it a little bit, but all the other moms were on board, so I, you know, didn't want to mess it up, and my daughter was so excited. You know, like I'm sure there's a couple that are not, they're not. They're not okay with it. Show body lines and positioning as these girls are performing these highly technical dance moves. In terms of the costumes being inappropriate, dance costumes have ruffles and rhinestones. Those are dance costumes and dance competitions, and it's very normal within that context. Yeah. Bras have cups that boobs go in. But that doesn't make them appropriate for a seven-year-old. Hey, and those are great costumes for a 21-year-old girl and her dance troupe. Yeah. But not for a seven-year-old girl who doesn't know right from wrong, who doesn't know that it's bad, who doesn't know that it's wrong. That's up to the parents to let them know. It's repulsive. The manager of the Pussycat Dolls called up the seven-year-olds and were like, where'd you guys get this up? Yeah. Those big girls. God, those are slutty. Yeah. You know.

1:40:17I would even take it a step further and say that I think that there are people that would even, it doesn't matter what the age of the person is, go, man, that was some skimpy outfits. Skimpy. Skimpy little girls. You know? That's disgusting. M1 Nick. Oh, yeah. Hey, how you guys doing? You're good, man. Go ahead. Yeah, so my wife and I, we own a dance studio in San Diego. So this is pretty much like my life. I've known my wife since I was 15. probably 13 years, and I've seen plenty of dances, and to be honest with you guys, I know that it's coming across like these girls are like, you know, future sleuthies and stuff, but it's actually a really, really good dance, and they're really good dancers, and something that people need to know when these girls are on stage dancing, they're not only getting judged on their dancing abilities and their choreography, but they're also getting a, like, point for their costume.

1:41:16And like the mom said on the show, that the costumes are designed for movement and everything like that. That's very true. They are designed for movement. And I think it's also important to note that, you know, well, first of all, let me say this. There's a lot of crazy stage moms out there. And so if anyone's going to say that, like, these moms should have said something. it's probably these moms are saying something if the costumes aren't skimpy enough or if they're not showing enough skin. Creepy. Disgusting. Yeah, it can be kind of creepy, but, you know, and like the mom said, too, it's not meant to see for the general public. So if you guys ever go to one of these talent competitions or one of these dance competitions, that's normal. Okay, but Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick. Yeah, Nick. But aren't you, though? Aren't you? I mean, I thought that your point was, hey, guys, I just want to let you know. OK, instead of me framing it where I'm putting the words in your mouth, let me just flat out ask you. Do you have a problem with this dance in these costumes? No, not at all. How come? Because I've been around it a long enough time to see it. Let's say. Wait a minute. Let me ask. OK, let me ask you this. Let's say that you were around.

1:42:40And I'm just thinking of a random, I'm just trying, I'm not comparing. I'm just trying to think of an example. Okay. I'm not comparing the two. So please don't put these swatches of clothing together. I'm just using this as an example. But let's say that you saw abuse. Okay. And you were around it a lot. Let's say you're a parole officer. You're around it a lot. Does that make abuse okay? No. And see, that was my deal. I can understand that in that culture of, like, little kids dressing up and everything, I get that that's normal to them. But I think that the world is kind of seeing it, and maybe we haven't seen it. And we're going, hey, culture, that's wild. Right, okay. You know, at these competitions, these girls are seven. So, I mean, they go anywhere from, you know, three years old, older. I think it starts to get a little more uncomfortable when older girls start wearing that kind of stuff. Not for me, it doesn't. Why is it okay? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So you think that it's more appropriate for a child to be sexualized than a teenager? Let's do that carefully. Kind of, maybe. Why? Well, you know what, Mikey? I don't see it as being sexualized.

1:44:09But bro. I don't, I don't. But bro. But let me say this. Let me say this. I mean, I want to hear you out on that one. I'm just, I'm looking at it. I'm going, they're wearing bras and booty shorts. How is that not sexual? If you saw your wife or girlfriend wearing those, that outfit, wouldn't you be like, oh yeah, baby. Right. That's lingerie. Yeah. Hell yeah. Okay. Listen, this is for the sake of like a performance though. Okay. Now there are parents that take these girls when they're that old. And they take that outside of the competition. So they bring them to school with makeup on and they bring them to dance dressed like that. Isn't that okay? Let's use my old analogy. Let's use my old analogy. Let's use the analogy I just used. So basically what you're saying is that would be wrong. If they were taking it in public in front of everybody and in the context of the public, well, that would be wrong. But when they do it in their own culture of dance, it's perfectly normal.

1:45:08That would be akin to saying I'm around abuse all the time. And so because I'm around the abuse all the time, it's not that big a deal to me. What would make it a big deal is if they weren't abusing in their own home, they were actually abusing in a grocery store. Now that would be wrong. And I'm going, I think they might both be wrong. I think you may be putting little kids in bras and panties and it's creepazoid. Creepy. Okay, maybe it's just I have a biased opinion just because I've been around it for so long. Yeah. You know, like my wife and I. I think you're desensitized. Absolutely. Do you have any kids? I got one on the way, one in August, baby girl. Yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah. Oh, sweet. But, like, I'm just saying, I have a feeling when your daughter gets there and here and to that age, you will, like, you'll probably be like, babe, put her in a one-piece bikini, a bathing suit. I don't want her in a two-piece. You know, stuff like that, because it makes a difference. And it's sad. It shouldn't, but it does.

1:46:07For that, what those little girls are doing on stage, they're in lace underwear. Yeah, and those girls, hey, there's no getting around it. Those girls can dance. But even the routine was very sexual. And there was a lot of grinding and humping and things like that. It was very gross. And Sienna's right. It's lingerie. If Britney Spears were to come out on stage at the VMAs and wear that exact outfit, we'd be commenting on, maybe you put some clothes on. Why are you wearing lingerie to perform in? And another thing, I have a nine-year-old at home, and you can't buy things like that in a store. They don't sell that anywhere near a bathing suit aisle, anywhere near the underwear, anywhere near anything. You have to have that stuff made because it's not appropriate for a child. No store is going to sell that. And that doesn't mean that if you do make it, you get... You should get extra credit. No way. It's called custom job. Yeah. It's called creepy. It's called the creepy custom job. If Adam Sandler were here right now, he would go, I see creepy things on stage. Sounds just like him. It's creepy. 570-1949. If you want to give us a call. Let's see.

1:47:23M1 Robert's on the line. Hi, Robert. No problem. No problem. Sorry. That's okay. I want to hear the order. Okay. Yeah, that's it. I was wondering if that was going to happen. Pick me up some fries, buddy. Yeah. Please ask him to listen to the Mikey show. Yeah. I'll tell him. All right. Okay. So I'm just thinking about this. What about like Shirley Temple? She's six, seven years old and she did entertainment for a living. Still, you know, I know times were different then, but I guarantee she wouldn't have gone as far as to wear that kind of thing in front of, you know, a live audience. Yeah, and I don't think anybody, back in the day, I don't think anybody had a problem with Shirley Temple. I think they loved her. Good ship lollipop. Well, I can tell you this. You think of a seven-year-old, and that's like first grade. Yeah. First graders. It is. And some of them are six. That's kindergarten. Oh, my God. You know what I mean? I was a first grader. Yeah, when I was six, I was first. You turned six when you're in kindergarten. You turned seven in first grade. Yeah. You were extra smart. Good for me. It doesn't matter what way you slice it. It's creepy. So creepy. Yes, it is. Creepy, creepy, creepy. 5701949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. Get. I didn't say a word. Didn't you? Didn't have to. Did I give it away because I noticed? Yeah.

1:48:59What he says, it pierces his heart when I shoot him Manson lamps when I can hear him yawn. I didn't yawn. I stifled it. M1Nancy, hi. Nancy, are you there? Hi, yes. What up? Hey. What up? Hey. I was just listening to all this, and, you know, my take on the whole thing is I grew up tap dancing and jazz dancing. Me too, by the way. That's right, Frankie. We know you did. We know you did, Frank. Yeah, we wore the rhinestones and the ruffles and all that other stuff, but we were never exposed. I mean, our midriffs were always covered, and we wore, you know, tights or something. And I think a big part of it is that this hip-hop dance style has become so accepted into the mainstream. dance culture, and the moves are so sleazy. This is Katharine Hepburn, and I have to tell you, I have to tell you, I'm a representative from the 1930s, and I've got to tell you, you are absolutely right. In fact, I don't understand Kanye West or P. Diddy or any of them. I don't understand any of it.

1:50:23Well, trust me, I'm no prude, but to have these little kids dancing those dance moves, that's just wrong. It's all right, darling. I'm a prude. Are you? Yes. Hey, listen, man. I can relate to that lady. M1 Nancy. Because I was the same, man. I used to have to do a dance when I was a kid. Why? Have to. Parents put me in dance, man. You didn't ask? And I had to wear tights. I didn't ask. They just put me in there. What about your midriff? I showed my midriff. You still do both of them. I'm showing my midriff right now. And you're wearing tights. Yeah. It's time to get rid of those pink chops, buddy. Cut off tights. Taught me how to dance, though, Nancy. That's the thing. Cut off jean tights. Yeah. With sequins. Sequins. Thanks a lot, by the way, Woods. Oh, I knew this was coming, dude. I didn't even want to come to work today. Uh-oh. Yeah, meld dog. We were supposed to go on a double date. It was going to be you with your wife, Jamie, and me and MC Meldorg. And you flaked on me, bro. I did, dude. I totally, totally did. I was stuck with Meldorg at my apartment waiting for you to pick me up. I got bruises on my butt from waiting social. Give you a little pinch. She's like a human car wash.

1:51:43The hand slathering me up with a crazy hand. Can I? Can I? It's like hanging out with a horny masseuse. Can I explain what happened, dude? You want to hear my side of the story? Yeah. I had to go judge the Miss Mission Beach. Oh, really? Yeah, I did. Sure. And, dude, I got there at 9, and I didn't get done until 5. And you know what happened? My phone broke. That's a lie, dude. Look, look. Let me see it. You got a new phone. Oh, you got a new phone. I got a new phone. How do I know you're not borrowing that as a prop? I'm not borrowing it. It's mine. Why would you go to such extreme lengths? Because this is what he does, L.O.B. He does his thing where he always stands me up, man. He's going to bring a prop in. He could. My phone was busted, and I just took Jamie to dinner. That's it. We went to dinner. Yeah, well, you left me with fingernails over here. Dude, I totally forgot. And my phone was busted. You love him. Don't. You love him bedazzled. All over your back. She got my hand. Come here, you. No! Frankie.

1:52:49Why do you have to scream every time you like it? You love it. She got more hands than a Hindu statue. Putting her hands all over me. I feel violated and I feel abandoned because of you. I'm sorry, dude. Betrayed. I'm sorry. Dude, I had my pager with me all night, dude. I didn't beep your anything. Why didn't you give me a 911 beep or a 143 page? Nothing. 143? What is 143? It means I love you. It means I love you. Everybody knows it's a thing. How about you get a cell phone, since most people don't know the beeper codes anymore. How about you get some smoke signals and send me a little something that says, hey, I'm not coming to pick you up. Yeah, I totally, totally bricked, man. I was at the Mission Beach pageant. I was. Crowned a lovely, lovely winner. Who was, hey, I showed up to your game to support you. Yeah, you were in the tree. Yeah, I was videotaping so you can go over your moves. It's the best view from up there. Yep. You're in the playoffs, right? That's right. Dude, I got a better idea. Forget the playoffs. Let's go to Disneyland. Why? I don't want to go to Disneyland. I got a game to play, dude. Dude, me, you, Magic Mountain, bro, it'll be fun. Space Mountain, whatever it is. You got another double date? That's what I'm saying. Let's do this. Let's make up for what you did. A double date? Yeah, man. What the ladies do, right?

1:54:12What are you talking about? So you must have had a pretty good time with MC Meldog. You want to do it again? I don't want to do it again. Well, you just said you want to do another double date. I think you meant a double date like me and him. There's two. Two of us. The ladies go too. That's what a double date is. Yeah. Dude, I've been sketching like bestie tattoos for me and you. And you let me down like that. I don't want a tattoo, dude. I've been working on some concepts. I'd love to see what you came up with. Yeah, what'd you come up with? I got you and me running. Except we're not people with unicorns. Frankie, Frankie. Come here, I'll give you a unicorn. Don't touch my head now. Get your hands up my hair. My hair's perfect. It is perfect. It's nice and slicked back to it. That is some perfect hair. GTL, later. What is GTL? GTL. GTL. Oh, we're going to tan, we're going to do laundry. Gym tan laundry. Gym tan laundry, you know that. You're Italian. Why don't you go get in the tanning bed, man? Why don't you come with me? Don't touch me anymore. Please. Little tiny hands. Don't. I'm sorry. I flaked. Yeah, don't flake on him. I know, dude. I hurt the poor guy's feelings. I was so overwhelmed. I was so overwhelmed. Yeah. What, are you a parrot now? Yeah. What, are you a parrot now? Maybe I am. A hurt little parrot with feelings. Broken wings. Yeah, broken wings. I'm sorry, dude. I'll make it up to you. I'll let you go get me lunch or something.

1:55:41That's a nice thing to do, Woodsy. You promise? I promise, dude. I'll let you wash my car, too. Oh, Sienna. You're a good person. I know, man. Sienna. This is perfect timing, Frankie. Girl. This is your song. I want to put this one out to my good bro, Woods. You guys want to see what I got underneath my leather jacket? What? It's a picture of Woods' face. Oh, it's good. I see my mustache and everything. Oh, this is good. Oh, this is. I know it. It has my favorite person in it. The deep voice guy that doesn't sing. It's the best. He harmonized the intro. No, he doesn't. He doesn't sing. He talks. He goes, hey girl. I've been looking at you for a long time. Got some golden pipes. That's right. I love it. This is the audio equivalent of Cap'n Crunch. It's the audio equivalent of a nice back massage. Chocolate and peanut butter. Yes. Oh, that sounds good.

1:56:43You know mine. Keep playing the hip hop, I'm going to slit your throat. My fault, Garrett. I'm playing your blood. Going to do some Woods of Wisdom? It's a good Monday, man. Oh, check this out. An ex-Food Network chef has been arrested for allegedly plotting a murder for hire. Wow. We'll tell you who it is and who the plot was intended for next. Pop it in. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Tomorrow night, Broken Bells will kick off their U.S. tour right here in sunny San Diego. They're playing at Humphreys, and it's an all-ages show if you want to go see Broken Bells.

1:57:59tomorrow night. Minus the Bear hit Soma this Saturday night, the 22nd, the National will play Spreckles this Sunday night, the 23rd, and Nodda Surf is in town one week from tonight. They'll play a 21 and up show at Belly Up next Monday, May 24th. Next Friday, the 28th, Ghosties Transfer with Dirty Sweet, Apes of Wrath, and the Silent Comedy. That shows at Birch North Park Theater. Wolf Mother are playing House of Blues August 21st. And Alice in Chains, Mastodon, and Deftones are coming to town. They'll play Viejas Arena October 15th. Tickets for that show go on sale this Saturday. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. It's Toyota's national sales event. The perfect time to get an amazing deal on the Toyota you've always wanted. Now, lease a new 2010 Prius, America's most fuel-efficient car, for only $2.39 a month for 36 months with just $9.99 due at signing. And for a limited time, get a free auto maintenance package with any new Toyota. Fuel efficiency claim based on EPA MPG estimates. See fueleconomy.gov.

1:59:18Lease example on approved Tier 1 plus credit. Lessee pays 15 cents per mile for all miles over $12,000 per year, plus tax and license. Security deposit wage. Offers may vary by region. Maintenance plan is for two years or 25,000 miles, whichever occurs first. The new Toyota vehicle cannot be part of a rental or commercial fleet or a livery or taxi vehicle. See plan for complete coverage details. Vehicles must be purchased or leased from new car dealer stock by midnight 6-1-10. For more details, visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota's National Sales Event, going on now. Hurry to your Toyota dealer today. Make the switch to 10 News in the morning, and you could win $100. Sign up on 10News.com, then watch for your name at 5 and 6 a.m. to see if you've won. News, weather, traffic, and two chances to win $100 every day. Switch and win with 10 News in the morning. Not Newcastle. ABC Tonight on an all-new Castle. Once they crack this case... A man has been murdered here. We are most likely dealing with highly trained assassins. They'll take on their next mission. You're seriously asking me to replace the Hamptons? Point blank. Oh, yeah. This castle is a real game changer. The perfect way to kick off ABC's summer season. An all-new castle. Tonight on ABC 10. Here at 10 News, we're not entertainers, cooking teachers, or fitness instructors. We're reporters, photographers, and anchors. Committed to covering the important events of the day. Because major news is our priority.

2:00:50When you want news, turn to 10 News. The kitchen. The kitchen is where food is kept and where food is cooked. So the kitchen is often where you find the people. The kitchen is where you want to be when dinner is being served, but it's where you don't want to be when the dishes are being washed. The kitchen is the only room in the house where open flames and sharp knives are both perfectly acceptable. If you're playing basketball and block someone's shot, you are certainly entitled to shout, get out of my kitchen. And if report cards are getting posted anywhere, they're getting posted on the refrigerator in the kitchen. The kitchen is also the place you can watch all your favorite shows. Because with U-verse TV from AT&T, you can record up to four shows at once from any room on a single DVR and play them back on any TV. In any room. Like the bedroom, the family room, the den, the rumpus room, and of course, the kitchen. Switch today and get U-verse TV for $39 a month for six months with DVR included. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Go to ATT.com slash TV to see if you qualify. Taxes, fees, and other charges apply. Offerings 11610. Price for U Family TV. New residential U-verse customers only after six months. Existing standard rates apply. For details, visit ATT.com slash TV details. Long day, honey? Uh-huh. I desperately need a trip to Blissville. Let's go. I'm totally craving a frappe at Mickey D's. A frappe what? Frappe. You're not making any sense. A frappe, as in McCafe frappe? What are you talking about? McDonald's takes a little coffee magic ice.

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2:04:51Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report is brought to you by CarMax. The easiest way to sell your car is to take it to CarMax today for a free appraisal. The smart choice is CarMax, the way car buying should be. On the westbound at the 15, watch out. There's a 4x4 piece of wood in the middle lanes causing cars to slow down and avoid it. The 125 northbound after Hammershaw Boulevard, a box in the number one lane. and causing some congestion in that area. And we got stop and go stuff at Escondido on the 15 southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway. We're in the teens right now. This report also brought to you by In-N-Out Burger, where burgers have been made the same way since the very first one hit the grill in 1948. Fresh made to order with only the highest quality ingredients, In-N-Out, that's what a hamburger's all about. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.

2:05:53I used to work at a restaurant as a DJ on Saturday nights. It was all Marines and their wives, and this song was currently on the radio, and I used to play it. And when I left, they got me a little plaque. Did they escapade on it? I know I don't have it. It doesn't say Escapade on it. And I know I don't have it anymore. I wish I did. What was your DJ name back then? Probably Michael Shannon. Sir Mix-a-Lot? It probably was during that period of time. Sir Eats-a-Lot? Sir Eats-a-Lot? Oh, really? I worked at an oldies station. Sir Eats-a-Lot? I worked at an oldies station. I worked for this guy. Our program director was a guy named Pat Kelly. And Pat Kelly told me. Of course his name is Pat Kelly.

2:07:07Yep. Hey, Pat. Pat Kelly told me that I sounded like dog bleep. Why? Shut it. He did. It's a great compliment. Hey, Mike. It's Pat. You sound like dog ass. Why do you sound like Garrett, Pat? He did. He told me that. Isn't that how all PDs sound? I've only had one, so that's why. Cut it out or we'll shovel you off the sidewalk. I'm going to pick you up and put you in a paper bag. If you don't watch it. I'm going to put on a little plastic glove and pick you up and then turn it inside out and throw it away. That's what you sound like. Why did he tell you that? That's so mean. Two reasons. I know it. Because I did. And because he was mad. How is he mad? I remember. I remember. You did something. I did something. I did something. Crazy, crazy boss.

2:08:09Both bosses, him and the general manager. General manager wanted to dock my pay because I talked on the request line and it charged a fee. I would call my friends on the request line to dial out and it made a charge. On accident you did that? Well, what do you mean on accident? You did it on purpose? Yeah, I called my friends purposefully. I wanted to speak with them. Did you know it would cost money? No. You'd call me and be like, hey, I'm on the air. Yeah, I would call you while I was playing the records. Right. I'd call my friends because, you know, I had time to kill. Oh, just BS with them. Yeah, just say, what are you doing? Not like put them on the air. Where are we going? Where are we going tonight? Yeah, what do you guys, well, you know me, I wouldn't be doing anything. I would go like this, I'd go. You guys have any leftovers? KHIP with little flamingos. Then I'd turn it down and then hit the phone line. I'd call my buddies. Hey guys. Hey guys, what are you doing?

2:09:17What are you up to? Nothing. Playing video games. You? Sitting here being fat. Hey, want to get some Chinese later? Yeah, you know that. All right. Talk to you later. I would do that a lot. And it cost them money? Cost them money. I didn't know where that was going. How many calls did you make? Made a lot. A lot, dude. I charged a lot of money, so he docked my pay. He wasn't going to give me a paycheck, which at the time was like $150 every two weeks. Wow. Oh, my God. Oh, dude, it was terrible pay. And so he wasn't going to pay me. So somebody said, an adult obviously, said to me, you know, all you got to do is call the work board or whatever it is. And I did and they called him and he was furious. Oh my gosh. Because he had to pay me. Because I didn't know. You know, I didn't know. But he was furious that he had to pay me the money. And you ratted him out.

2:10:16Well, he wouldn't give me the money. I know, but I'm saying he's like, little son of a bitch. They were right. The person that told me said, hey, listen, he can't do that to you. That's illegal. And he was so angry. Well, that made for a fun work environment, I'm sure. Totally fun. He had a glass eye. No, he did not. He sure did. Throw it at you? No, he practically did. Hey, Mike, I'm going to throw my glass eye in your mouth, okay? Idiot. Walking to his office, he's just polishing it. Stop making frigging phone calls. Does this look like a phone booth? Does that look like a calling card to you? What are you, Clark Kent? You jackhole. What are you doing? Idiot. Detroit. It's not like dog poop, Mike. It's like a dog ass, Mike. You're the worst. You are the worst. And another program director left an answering machine message for me. Almost made me cry. It was so brutal. This is what he said. I can barely believe that you're on the radio. I can barely believe you're on the radio. You have got to be in the top five worst disc jockeys in the country. You are kidding. Now, what he was talking about, the break, in particular break he was talking about, he was right. I was an idiot. I had a crush on some girl that worked at Star 100.7 here in San Diego. And so I was like.

2:11:43Hey, want to go on the radio with me? This is when I was doing nights over at the rock station. She's like, yeah. So I like interviewed her and I got home and my boss left me a message on my answering machine. He's like, you are the worst. I can't believe what I just heard on the radio. See, I think that's funny. I think that's hysterical. If it was like a morning show and it was like all about talk, maybe. Yeah. And he got to say, look, I have a huge crush on this girl. When you're supposed to be playing mandatory Metallica and you're talking for 15 minutes about nothing. Get to let out. Yeah, when you're supposed to be doing Get the Lead Out and playing five in a row from Zeppelin, and instead you're talking to some girl you have a crush on from a station across the street. I still think it's genius. I'm really lucky that we have cool managers around here. Absolutely. I'd be filleted on the reg. Oh, you'd be getting answering machines. I would be getting answering machine messages. The only ones that wouldn't would be Sienna and Mike. Me and you would be getting killed. Hey, Woods, get in here. We need to talk with you. I'll still leave you some... Yeah, but you don't count. He writes me little notes and puts them in my backpack, and I find them at home. I do count. I'm sorry. I mean, you count. Like, you're our friend and stuff, but I'm still not convinced you actually work here. Why don't you all check your boxes every once in a while? I leave your messages in there telling you, giving you suggestions. Yeah, but you don't even have a desk or an office. You just roam around with a clipboard and a whistle. You sit in our cubicle. And a horn. You don't have to help.

2:13:09Everyone, what I do right now, it's temporary. It's temporary. Okay. All right. It's been temporary for like three months now. They don't have to. I have an office being built. Do you get a paycheck? Do I get a paycheck? Yeah. Yeah, I do. I get it put in my box every week. And maybe you ought to check yours. And the only one that picks them up is Mikey and Sienna. So why do you still live with your mom? What is this? It's a roast. Welcome to the Mikey Show. It's a cutest little voice. I live. My voice ain't cute. It's masculine. What is this? It's masculine. It is masculine. Y'all know I have an office under construction. Yes. And the reason it's taken a while is because it's got to be fortified. It's big. Fortified? With what? Vitamin C? Really, man? Give me a freaking break for a minute. Calcium. Check your boxes. That's all I'm telling you. I give you all advice and hints and tips. Great advice as usual this morning. Great advice. I don't think you have a box, though. I've never seen yours. You shut it. Now, I do have one. It's called my office, and my office is so big they don't have to. My office is so big.

2:14:36They call it Wheat Thicks. That doesn't make any sense. First of all, your office is being fortified. I already said that, Sweden. So how would you know if it's big? Yeah, it's not ready. They're getting it all ready. I'm going to move in there in about two weeks. I'm going to move into my brand new corner office. It looks over all of the corporate Mission Valley. That's what Rick's. So you're moving into Rick's office then. Yeah, they're just getting it all ready, putting a toilet in and all that. What's going to happen to our manager, general manager? Well, he's going to have another office, but he's got to realize I'm the boss. No, no. I don't think he's going to give that up. He's listening. He has a shower in there. I hear somebody running down the hall. I wonder if it's Rick. Literally running. Drop the hammer on you. And excuse me, he don't have a shower. Hoyle Henready has a shower. All right, Hoyle. Hoyle Henready requested that a shower be built in order to get me to come out here as a part of the stipulation to get me to come out from Baton Rouge. Otherwise, I wouldn't have made the move. Did anyone get that request, or was that just in your head? Is that right, Sweden? Sweden. Am I Sweden now? Yeah. Oh, okay. Long hair, blue eyes. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Why don't you tell them I'm Mexican, Mikey? Because I don't speak Spanish. First of all, it's called Spanish. Yeah, oil. Get it right. And I don't speak Spanish. That'd be why. Sienna, tell everybody who was the ex-Food Network chef.

2:15:59That's been arrested for plotting a murder for hire. Do you remember the show? It was on in 2004 on Food Network. It was called Calorie Commando. What, Lauren? My gosh, what an inappropriate place to laugh. What? What happened? What did you do, Woods? Did you make her laugh? Yeah, he did. Did he get you? Nope. He got me. He did. Who was it? I'm feeling self-conscious. I know, me too. I'm feeling self-conscious. I'm sorry. He did something. What did he do? I didn't do anything. I did it. Stop. I did it, and he pointed out I yawned. I yawned. Did you yawn? Yes. What time did you go to bed last night, Pepper? 9.40. 8. 8. Mikey doesn't like when we yawn. 8. Did you really go there? 8 o'clock. Call the wife. You don't believe me. Sienna. What time did I go to sleep? Yeah. Like 8.30. Look at Woods. 8 o'clock. Dead asleep. Get. So what was his show? Okay. The show was called Calorie Command. It was on in 2004. I remember that. And the guy who was the host was Juan Carlos Cruz. It was not very popular, though, because they used to show it on Sunday mornings at like 5 a.m. Wow. Well, yeah. Juan Carlos Cruz has gotten in a little bit of trouble since then. He has been arrested. He was arrested on Thursday.

2:17:16For a little scheme where he allegedly approached homeless men and asked them to kill someone for him. Oh, my gosh. Yes. One of the homeless men went to the police and told them what this Carlos Cruz man had done. And so they looked into it and they arrested him on Thursday. Who was he trying to kill? He's being held on a $5 million bond. They won't release. They know who the man is that he was trying to kill. He's a guy, a man. Well, they, I don't know if it's a man. Sorry. They haven't identified him. They're not going to for a while. But he has been notified whoever this man is. Who is a man? This person. Sorry. Sorry. I'm like, I'm getting confused. I'm like. Do you want to do the news? Can you imagine, by the way. Clarify. Can you imagine getting a phone call and they tell you that? Oh. Oh my gosh. You ever watch those behind the, like when they have cops and they have the hidden camera in the hotel and they come in and bust the guy? Ugh. I saw that one with the Dallas cheerleader mom where she was plotting to kill. Oh, yeah, the cheerleader mom. Yeah. Crazy woman. Yeah. That's just creepy stuff. Yeah. So this person got a phone call and said, look, this is the police. This man, Juan Carlos Cruz, I don't know how you know him, but somehow, for some reason, he has a plot out and wants to try to kill you. And this person is like, oh, my gosh. Yeah. He's in jail right now, Juan Carlos. So hopefully.

2:18:40That was his best plan to hire a homeless guy to kill him? That is brilliant. Multiple homeless guys. He confronted them and said, look, you know, I'm sure he offered them some money. Yeah. And the homeless guys went to the police. Here's your own shopping cart now. Go knock this guy off. Yeah. It's solid, though. Oh, this guy's got nothing to lose. Yeah. He's desperate. Oh, which makes it even more ugly. Yeah. Oh, it's terrible. How about this? Woodsy does some Woods of Wisdom. And you can even call if you would like Woods to give you some Woods of Wisdom. 570-1949-949mikey at gmail.com. That's how you get a hold of us. So give us a call. Okay. So Woodsy will answer some emails that we've got. I get them. So Woodsy doesn't know what it is that people are going to ask. I give them to him spontaneously. Yeah, never see him.

2:20:01First one says, Woods, I'm heading down a strange path that may need straightening out right away. I've been married since last May 30th. I've always told her I'll do anything for her. And recently, she's been cashing in on that verbal contract. Weird. For the past month, I have been blow drying her hair each night for her. The girls just tripped out here in the studio. Both Sienna and Lauren went. This is a man writing this email? Man writing this email. Doesn't sound like it. For the past month, I have been blow drying her hair each night. And last night, it hit me. I think I'm being whipped. Yes. I just don't feel like most husbands are their own wives' personal hairdressers. I need some of your light on this subject. Pronto. Before I'm painting her nails. M1 Dunzo. You better check your sack, dude. That's it. Check your sack. Check it. I think that says it all. I have nothing else to say. Check your sack, pal. I think that says it. I mean, unless she's got some sort of physical ailment that needs his help. Like two broken arms. Yeah, right? I'm telling you right now, he loves it. I think he might too. He loves it. Why else would you do that? Why is he riding us then? To see if it's weird. Oh, you're weird. You're real weird, pal. Yeah.

2:21:34But he loves it. I want you to email me personally because I want to know who you are. Woods at MikeyShow.com. I'm freaked out, dude. I've never heard of anything like that. Now. There's no doubt in my mind. There's a. He likes to do this. There's a scene in the movie Bull Durham where Kevin Costner is painting Susan Sarandon's toenail, which I always thought was real sexy, kind of. I thought that was kind of a cool move. Like, yeah, they just got done lovemaking and he's painting her toenails. I thought it was kind of sexy. I thought I'd do that maybe sometime. You just gave Lauren the creeps. Why? Another way you said it, all adult. That's the way you got to say it. No, the thought of someone touching my toes. You know, I love feet. Kid loves feet. Do you? Yeah, I love feet. Yeah. Guys would not be good at painting toes. Yeah, we would. I think feet are pretty. I think women's feet are pretty. Have you seen mine? Do you have big... Not yours. Do you have big, giant feet? They're just... They're feet. I love feet. Mine are like a model. Let me see. I have shoes on and socks. Sienna's actually a foot model. I am. Really? That guy needs to... She needs to check up, dude. That's ridiculous. Pete needs to grow up. Santa does have nice feet. Yeah, I like feet. You know what makes a woman's foot really nice? Painted toenails. Painted toenails. Maybe even a toe ring. I love it. I like it. I'm out on the toe ring. I'm in on it. Love it. Me and Mike. If a woman has a skinny foot and if she's got a big arch on her foot, it's very feminine. Absolutely. I like a big fat foot. You do? No.

2:23:02I think it's funny that Mikey describes. No, not in on your feet, Brian. I have a big arch. You don't? I love cankles myself. Not a big arch. Hairy ankles is my favorite part. That's a big arch. Yeah. I could point like a ballerina. All right, put your shoes on. It smells like corn chips in here. Corn chips? I know. You ready for the next one? Yeah, that guy, he is a clown. You don't blow dry your wife's hair. In defense to him, he's actually got on big red floppy shoes. And a flower that shoots water. Mm-hmm. At his lapel. Woods, I'm a 32-year-old recently divorced single dad. Woods, I'm about to read some stuff and I need you to be nice. Okay. I'm obsessed with Star Wars comic book movies. Woods! I'm in. Let's go. I'm obsessed with Star Wars comic book movies. Woods! Let go! Finish! Keep a poker face on, Woods. Sci-fi and Star Trek. Greetings. My question is, is it okay for me to share my love of these movies with my daughter? I have no problem with the girly stuff, but I don't plan on having any more kids. Am I going to turn her into a tomboy? Any help would be great. M1 Han Solo. Nah, dude, I give this guy's grief just because I was never into that stuff when I was a kid. I mean, I loved Star Wars when I was a little kid.

2:24:28But I grew up and then discovered females and sports and whatever. But, like, here's the deal. That's badass. The guy's wondering what he can and can't share with his little girl. Yeah, man. I mean, anything that you guys can bond with, yes. I say I'm all for it. Absolutely. 100%. I am too. Nothing against. Yeah, do it for sure. And if you're worried about her dorking, like, you know, dorking out or being a tomboy, she'll grow out of it. When she's little, she'll want to be daddy's little girl and then she'll find herself. Even if she doesn't, I think it's kind of cool that she's very unique in the stuff that she digs because she got it from her dad. Me too. I think it's so cool that he's like, he wants to share stuff with his little girl. So, yeah, man, I have no problem with that at all. She'll find a dude that digs it too. He's like, oh, you know about this? This is cool. Yeah. I learned about. Country music and sports radio from my dad. You did? Yeah. And that's cool. At the time, I was like... Yeah. It makes you...

2:25:26You guys will love you. You know what I mean? I'm not saying, yeah, they do. But I love, no, I love music now and I love sports. I learned like Motown and Beach Boys and stuff and I hated it back then and I love it now. I appreciate it so much for my parents. Since my dad is Keith Richards, I always have to put a Rolling Stones song. It is. I always have to put a Rolling Stones song in my mix on Monday. I'm going to give you one more. I know that we're late, but I'm going to give you one more. Woods, every girl I date seems to be totally into me for about a year. Then something happens and it's as if they get bored. I go into every relationship knowing in the back of my mind that it's a ticking time bomb. What am I doing wrong? If anything, M1 bomb squad. You're not doing anything wrong, man. At all. You're just not picking the right person. Well...

2:26:15Yeah. If he's going into it thinking, well, this is just bound to happen sooner or later, then maybe he's got one foot out. You psych yourself out, man. We all do it. It reminds me, I was playing ball yesterday, and this guy, one of my favorite people on our team, Pat, looked at the pitcher that was starting. He goes, I can't hit this guy. I can't hit him. Right. Before the game, Pat struck out four times. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. I can't hit him. So take a different approach, a different attitude. Be yourself. I mean, that's the thing, man. When you find somebody that loves you for who you are, like I have found, like Mike has found, like all of us have found, it's the greatest thing in the world. You just got to keep trying. My trainer. What are you sniggling about? Lauren's face. She's laughing at you. You guys are both clowns. My trainer had me running stairs last week. I love running stairs. I love it. Actually, I do like running stairs. It's the weirdest thing. I got totally into it when I had my personal trainer. I don't. I love it. I feel like a Notre Dame football player. And I started saying in my head, I love this, I love this, I love this, I love this, I love this. And it was great because it didn't work. Ghost Town DJ is my boo. No way. This is the best song. Yes, it is the best song. Hey, let's play Name That Ten. Yeah! Call up and pick a horse. Me, Sienna, Woods, or O'Brien. Kid's on a streak, by the way.

2:27:45I'm on like a six-week streak. Are you? Aren't I? You're not modest at all about it. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Long day, honey? Uh-huh. I desperately need a trip to Blissville. Let's go. I'm totally craving a frappe at Mickey D's. A frappe what? Frappe. You're not making any sense. A frappe, as in McCafe frappe? What are you talking about? McDonald's takes a little coffee magic ice.

2:28:38Serious sweetness. Then puts it on a blender and makes a delicious cup of perfection. Wow. In mocha or caramel flavors. Nice. I drop a straw through the whipped cream and chocolate or caramel drizzles. And suddenly, I'm on a fast train to Blissville. There room for two on that ride? McDonald's new sweet blended iced McCafe frappes. Made with a hint of coffee and real whipped cream. Your day just got a little cooler and a whole lot sweeter. So how was your first train to Blissville? Sweet. I'm thinking of making one more stop at the Caramel Station. At participating McDonald's. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up again to give you the summer's best discount on any single day admission. Adults at kids price and kids are free. Visit McDonald's today for details and get your SeaWorld discount coupon. Fox Monday. On the breathtaking season finale of House. When the crane crushes a high rise. Faced with a life-changing choice. How bad will it hurt? There's nothing to hear I felt before. Then. With only three hours left of 24, Jack takes the former president hostage. You want to get through this thing alive, you're going to do exactly what I say. Now, his hunger for justice may cost him his life. I sure hope you know what you're doing. Guess I ain't no coming back from it. I wasn't planning on coming back. 24, the final hours, right after the season finale of House.

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2:33:50This summer, whether it's a planned escape, a day under the radar, wink, wink, or just strutting your stuff, take it off with all-natural pop chips. With all the flavor and less than half the fat of fried chips, thanks to the magic of popping, it's zero grams of regret. Pop chips, they're never fried, never baked. Think popped. This report is brought to you by CarMax. Take your car to CarMax for a free appraisal and a written offer to buy. Good for seven days. The smart choice is CarMax, the way car buying should be. Well, it looks like the 94 westbound between the 805 and the 5 pretty much stop and go. It's in the teens in some spots. And the 56 westbound between Carmel Valley Road and the 5, it's stop and go there. Checking out Escondido on the 15 southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway. Again, slowing into the teens. This report is also brought to you by the California Department of Health. Californians are at risk for H1N1 if they haven't been vaccinated. H1N1 vaccine has proven to be safe. Visit cdph.ca.gov to find a vaccination location. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show. Mikey. I get along better.

2:35:00with women than I do with men. Sienna. I always wanted to punch someone in the face. Woods. Do a lot of things I shouldn't do, pal. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Come fly with me. Let's fly. Let's fly away. If you can use some exotic booze, there's a bar in far Bombay. Come on and fly with me. Let's fly, let's fly away. Welcome back. Come fly with me. If you're just tuning in, we had a great time at the meet and greet Friday. Mikey Show meet and greet. We'll be doing some more of those this summer. Yeah. It was good to see everybody come out. Somebody made a great suggestion about the beach. Yeah. We could light a bonfire and play soccer like the karate kid. That'd be rad. All the way in. Kick the boom box. Maybe I'll get in a fist fight. Sounds fun. Don't get in a fist fight.

2:36:08With the guys on the dirt bikes that are trying to mess with my girl. That's the best movie. It's the greatest movie besides Footloose ever made. You have a weird obsession with Footloose, dude. Yeah, I do. There's a few of those 80s movies that he has an obsession with. Check this out. So I have on my baseball warm-up mix the song called I'm Free by Kenny Loggins. And it was cranked in my car as loud as it would go driving to the game. And it was on when I opened the trunk to put all my gear in after the game. And I had my whole team come over and I go, name this movie. And they're sitting there like, dude, what is it? What is it? And they're like, one of them was finally like Footloose, the greatest movie ever. So I'm not the only idiot out there. It's a really good story. Thank you for that. Great story. Compelling. Rich. Look at Lauren. She's jumping. M1 SoCal, who would you like to pick and name that tune? Sienna, please. Really? That's my man. That's a good move there, SoCal. Hang on the line. He knows that I never win, but he still has my back. M1 Ron. I want the man wood. You know that. You got him. Hang on the line. M1 Blake, who do you want? Pepper. You got it. M1 Andrew, you got me.

2:37:24Bring it home, Mikey. All right, you got it. Hang on the line. Come on around, clown. We've got a cool frat pack today. You didn't already look at the answers like all the other weeks, have you? Yeah, really? Hey, Jay, where did I load my audio today? I know it. Jay, where did I load my audio today? Guilty content? What's the thing where he looks at the answers before the show like he always does? Oh, you mean like when he goes to the other studio? No, he went to the other studio. Yeah, you know I went to the other studio. You didn't do that, did you? Never. I've never done it. We use our voice and our name as our buzzer. Who is keeping score? I'll do it. I have it. Look. Our clowns. Yeah. That's good. Call me a clown again. I'll choke somebody. So today's prize pack is a UFC prize pack including a free pay-per-view for the UFC 114 on Saturday, May 29th. Ooh, that's a good one. Maybe I win it. We do it at my house. Let's do it. It wouldn't be you that wins. Maybe the listener will want to come over to my house. Yeah, maybe he'll take us over. Maybe we'll have a meet and greet at my house. Oh, jeez. Here we go. Let me get to the thing. What are we doing today? It's still movies. I don't know if that's Woods. He probably sucks. Woods, what did you load for us today? You guys are a-holes. You know that. We're getting close to the agenda point. Okay, here we go. Are you ready? Yep. You know that. Someone once told me that to write well, you have to write which... Woods, never been kissed. Dang it! How? You are free. What's up, dude? What's up? Question mark. How? Go. You are a girl. Here we go. Ready? Here we go. Woods.

2:38:52Swingers. It is. It's in Swingers, too. Sienna. It's in Swingers. I'm just going to go for it and say it. Ace Ventura. Lauren. Take my point on it. 007. Well, really? No. It says on it, it says James Bond 007. I thought it was the trick one where Ace Ventura is. It was also in Swingers, by the way. It was? Yeah. I know that's a theme. It's also in Swingers. James Bond. Here we go. All right, Lauren's on the board. That's a half point. If you wanted to wait for the whole clip, maybe you would have gotten it. Come on, Lauren, win this. Hit the road buzzer. Hit the road buzzer. Okay. Welcome to my tournament of champions. I have assembled the most talented... Balls of Fury. What is that? Is there a theme today? Do we get to know a theme? Is there a theme? It's called movies. It's called movies, pal. It's just random movies. What is Balls of Fury? You know that. It's a movie. I was going to say dodgeball. I knew it was something like that. Okay, here we go. Lauren and Woods are tied with one. I have negative one. Mikey has zero. Come on, people. Eyes on the prize. Here we go. Honorary chairman of the welcoming committee, it is my privilege to extend to you a laurel and hearty handshake. Mikey. Blazing Saddles. We're going to say it. Wow.

2:40:08What is inanimate on-fire things? I don't know, but that's the first time I've got one in 19 weeks. It's because that movie was made about 50 years ago when you were watching movies. That is true. Here we go. That is truth. Everyone's winning but me. Now on, I don't want you calling me Ryan. Call me T-Dog. Hey, T-Dog, give me a pass. Aren't you the guy that kicked Fulkin's butt freestyling? You better believe it. So you better step up before you show me a man, because if you decide to step on... Role models. Dirty! Yes, take it away. Dirty! There was a movie called Roll Models. Oh! Come on! Since you start sleeping naked? I don't like elastic squeezing on my ass when I sleep. Oh, what is it? It's... It's... Three, two... Drill Bit Taylor. Okay, I only said one. What? Drill Bit Taylor? Owen Wilson. Yeah, exactly. That's not what it's called. Yeah, it is. It is. That's what it's called. No way. It's not called Roll Models. It's not called Drill Bit Taylor. Yeah, it is.

2:41:12There you go. It is. It is. Trust me. Really? Let's go. Own a TV and then talk to me. Yeah. Some champagne with your cake or do you want it without your cake? Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Oh, wrong one. Yeah, what's up, dude? What's the score? Stop cheating. I don't know. I don't cheat. I'm deflated. The score is Sienna, negative one, weird. Woods, two. Lauren, zero. Mikey, one. Okay. Here we go. What? Hey, yo, let's hit me. Mikey. Twins. Take it away. Look, I just wanted to stop by basically... Bad boys? See, this is the thing. I, um... Oh, Woods. Hitch. Yeah! Boo-yah! Shut up. See, I knew it was Will Smith. Mikey looking over. How does he do that? Here we go. What are you doing?

2:42:25I'd like to thank the Academy. Wow, these things are heavy. Pull me down, jackass. Okay. That's it? That's it. Wait, do it again. I'd like to thank the Academy. Wow, these things are heavy. Pull me down, jackass. Okay. What the heck? The Love Guru. I never saw it. Michael Myers. Never seen any of these movies. Anyone in the world seen that movie? Mike Myers' family didn't see it. Yeah. Here we go. Take Lewis, for example. All right, Lewis, knock him dead. That was a figure of speech. Please don't kill anyone. All his life, Lewis' dream was to find the family he never knew. I know they're out there. But the funny thing about chasing dreams is that no one can do it on their own. What are you doing up here? Desperate times call for desperate measures. And the journey... will always take you places. I can guess. How about a movie that didn't go straight to DVD? No, that was obviously a cartoon. So which is why I'm going to guess because I haven't seen it. But I'm going to say Sunny with a Chance of Meatballs. Dang, dude. I put these in for you, Sienna. Well, I know. That's why I took a shot. Meet the Robertson. Take it away, kid. Here we go. Me and you both, Sienna. All right, what's the score? Recap, recap, recap. We're both negative one. Sienna negative two.

2:43:55Woods, three. Lauren, negative one. Mikey, zero. Doing pretty good, Mikey. Here we go. You are doing good. You're really slaying it. Here it is. I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. He's already got one, you see? What? He said they've already got one. Are you sure he's got one? Oh, yes. It's very nice. Mikey, it's Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Wow. All right, guys, little boy. How many more we got? Wait, don't forget the last ones. No, we're not doing that stupid bit again. We got five left. Yeah, give us the bonus ones. Here we go. Here we go. Father warned me about people like you, Jeremy. Wedding Crashers. Are you kidding me? He just hit it out of the park. You know that. He's like a savant. All right, here we go.

2:44:52I wanted to leave the army. What will you do? I want to. Damn it. It's Adam Sandler and it is... You don't mess with the Zohan. What's the time limit on me? He was well within it. Did you hear that noise? That was Woods punching his chair. He was well within it. Here we go. Are you ready? I'm not skating to anything with references to Lady Hulk. Blades of Glory. Really? Really? Really? Really, really? Okay, so there's three questions left. What's the score? Pump the points up. Let's go back to TV themes. Woods, Woods 6. Sienna, negative 2. Lauren, negative 1. Mikey, 1. So each of these is worth three points. Here we go. I don't know if that's going to help you. What a filthy job. Could be worse. How? Woods. Young Frankenstein. Booyah! The next two questions are worth six points a piece. Dude, you just said three. I change it as I go. We change it. He's the boss. It's not spot otherwise. It's right. Here we go. I don't exactly know how to tell you this, but you're living on a speck. Seriously. Lauren. Sienna. Lauren. Truman Show? No, that's negative six points, actually. Sienna, Courtney, here's a who. There you go. So Lauren goes negative six, and you got six. No, I've got like negative 27. So what do you have, Sienna? Four?

2:46:22That did make it interesting. Two, three, four, five. I have four. Woods has nine. Lauren has negative seven. No, negative six. Seven. Seven. So this is a 12-point question. Oh, for the love of God. There you go. It's a 12-point question. Stupid. You're stupid. Here it comes. How hard it is being a woman looking the way I do. It is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do. I'm not. Bad. Jessica Rabbit. I don't know what it's called. I don't know what it's called. Sienna! Sienna! Who framed Roger Rabbit? You didn't win. You didn't win. No, she did not. And everybody knows it. That's so stupid. That's the dumbest thing ever. I got you, SoCal! No, you didn't. I got you!

2:47:28And everybody knows it. And everybody knows it. Mike, I was thinking who framed Roger Rabbit, and I was like, no, it can't be it. And everybody knows it. That's the dumbest effing thing I've ever heard in my life. I got 16 points. First of all, he goes, first of all, Sienna, congratulations. Oh, you're such a clown. Congratulations. Thank you. Such a clown. That's so stupid. My baby and I are happy. That's like, like, ugh. It's so dumb. I think we need to change it to, like, TV theme songs. Or, you know what, Jay? When you say, hey, these next three questions are worth three points each. Maybe don't say the next three questions. You win every time. You have to make it interesting. Yeah, because I'm good at this game. Excuse me. We're about to talk to the winner here, M1 SoCal. Oh, dude. Ron, you got posed. Who very wisely picked Sienna. So stupid. Thank you. I'm not saying a word until the last question from now on. SoCal was at the meet and greet on Friday, and he was like, I was like, I love you, man. You pick me every time. He's like, yeah, we haven't won once. And I was like, you just wait. It's coming. Guys, a glutton for punishment. Fantastic.

2:48:34Fantastic. So dumb. Hey, listen. It really does make it interesting. Yeah, does it? You win every time otherwise. How boring is that? It's not boring for me and my fans. Hey, listen. Hey, listen. I got like 10 questions right and I lose. She gets one right and wins. It can work in your favor. I'm not seeing a word the whole next game. But if you don't, you're not pumping up your score. Is that right? Is that right? This whole game is made to make me lose. It sucks. It's not. Yes, it is. Is it not? Mike, I mean, Woods. How is it not made to make me lose? Everyone knows you're the best at this game. I hate you all. I think this game has run its course. Let's pick a different name that tune. I like it. Name that weed. It's way too much fun watching my 34-year-old friend. I'm sweating bullets right now. I'm so mad. He was punching the back of his chair. He's the most competitive man. I like to win, dude. You play to win. I'd be mad if I were him. Absolutely you would be. I slayed it that game. But that's only because you're the second most competitive person.

2:49:37I'd have my arms folded and be like, I'm done the rest of the show. Yeah, I'm done. Listen, we're all... Why don't you guys let me run the board next time? Fine. We're all little kids in grown-up bodies. We're all little kids in grown-up bodies. It's the greatest. I was just... Oh, wow. You know what you can do, Woodsy? What? You can be like this cool little kid. I'll get you a Barbie fishing pole like this cute little girl who just caught... What did you get? A 20-pound something. A muskie. Apparently muskies are a real big fish. And this little two-year-old girl was fishing in Minnesota with her grandparents. And she just, you know, was kind of playing along. Had the barbie fishing pole sticking out of the boat. And she caught a little fish. But it wasn't, it was a sunfish. Just a little one. And then this big muskie came and tried to eat the sunfish. So then the muskie was caught on the barbie fishing pole. How rad is that?

2:50:34And so she yelled for her grandpa, and they reeled in this 20-pound muskie that weighed more than her. More than her, yeah. Weighed more than her. That's insane. Good thing she didn't go overboard. The little girl said, I thought it was a shock. That really is cool. Yeah. I remember one time going fishing. Didn't catch anything. It was like one of the last casts of the day. And I caught a fish, but the way that I caught it was, I just happened to catch its tail with the hook. Didn't even catch the fish. I hooked a fish. You caught it. It still counts. You didn't bait and sink it. No, I did not. Bait line, whatever it is. I would love to. Would you guys ever go fishing? No. Last time I went, I went to San Quentin and I was... throwing up off the side of the boat. I was so seasick. Hey, Mikey. I hate to interrupt, but your son is on the line. Is he? Oh, Jake. Yeah. No, it's not Jake. It's Luke, which I thought was weird. Which line? Line one? Line one. Mike, he just said it was Luke. I think he's messed up. Is this my boy? Hey, Dad. Hey, this isn't Jake. Who is this? This is Luke. Oh, it's my son, Luke. I thought he was like nine months old. Yeah, he is. Don't worry about it. I got to be quiet because Mom is cleaning and running around the house. Hey,

2:51:50Where is the spare car key? Where is the spare car key? Yeah, I need the spare. Hang on a second, Luke. My son Luke is our problem child. How old is he? He's nine months old. Nobody tells the baby what to do. He's got an attitude. He's looking for a spare car key. Grammy's going to come in here, and we're both going to get in trouble, so shut your mouth. He's talking to his brother, Ryan. Yeah, where's the key? I'm not going to tell you where the spare key is, Luke, because you will take... The car, and I don't want you to take the car. I want to go to Legoland, and I want to go right now. And if you don't tell me where the key is, I'm going to hotwire the car, or I'm going to hitch a ride. So take your pick, pal. Which one? He's not kidding. He's not kidding. Do you know how to hotwire a car? What's that? Is he trying to do? Lukey, what are you doing? I'm doing poop. You know that. Oh. Luke. What? You're on the radio. Great. Lukey. Great. Lukey. Great. I need the key. I'm not going to tell you where the key is. Did you take my cigarettes this morning when you left? I did not take, first of all. It's probably Uncle Woods. Yeah, first of all, you shouldn't have any cigarettes. I had a pack of camels under my pillow. And either you took them or Ryan took them. Either he's going to take a beat down or, you know. So you're now threatening me. This is my son, Lukey. He's nine months old. You're now threatening me to give you.

2:53:17That information or Ryan's going to get in trouble for it. Hey, are you going to give me the key or am I hotwiring this? I am not going to give you the key. I got a girl that's waiting at Legoland right now. Of course you do. Baby Caitlin is waiting at Legoland right now with her mom, Miss Janice. And I've got to get there like ASAP. Okay, I'm not going to miss a chance to close this deal. Well, I'm not giving you the keys to the car. You're just a little boy. You're nine months old. What's the deal with baby Caitlin? Was she cute or what? You know that. Is she? Yeah. How do you know? She's pretty much an angel. Is she? Yeah, she's an angel. All right, well. Well, then I'm just going to have to find alternate me. Maybe I take Grammy's car. Is that right? You're going to take Grammy's car? Maybe I take Grammy's car. I'm getting a Legoland one way or the other today, with your help or without it. What are you going to do when you get there? Mike, aren't you worried? I am. Either be my dad or no. Luke, you can't do things like this. You're only nine months old. You need to behave. Look at your brother Ryan. What's he doing right now? What's your brother Ryan doing? I'm building my own Camaro. It's a 68 Camaro I'm restoring, and my mom and dad don't know about it yet. What's Ryan doing?

2:54:28He's sleeping and pooping, sucking his thumb. Why are you doing that? Because it sounds wonderful. The guy's on my nerves like crazy. I've got to share a room with the dude and the same clothes. It's ridiculous. Right now, if this is television, there's a photograph of Luke with sunglasses on and a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. And underneath him it says Luke. On phone, Luke. That's exactly what I'm wearing, actually. I'm nude, just like my old man. Let's run in the family. I'm blasting a cigarette now. Do you have a laptop, too, little Lukey? No, I don't have a laptop. Come on. I like girls. All right. I'm going to get out of here. I got a long walk, apparently. Thanks for nothing, old man. Yeah, thanks. It's Lukey. Mike, what are you going to do with that one? He's trouble. Yeah, he causes a stir. He really does. I can't do anything with him. Woods was saying last night he went over to your house, and he was just looking at Luke during dinner, and Luke was just looking at him like, stop looking at me, dude. Oh, yeah. Look somewhere else. What are you doing? It's so funny. You try to make that kid laugh. It's not going to happen. He's like, yeah, real funny. Clown. Yeah, he looks at you like you're a clown. Got to work for his affection. Oh, man. Sienna's picking some good stuff. A little Duncan chic. That's right. So I was in the other room. Yeah. I was going to the restroom, and I saw that an M1 wrote in that I'm a poor sport.

2:55:48Truth hurts, does it? Maybe just a winner that got cheated. How about that? It's the way the game's played now. Maybe you keep your eyes on your own paper. Maybe the last caller on the phone had more of the sporting spirit than you showed us. I gotta be a poor sport when I get a victory ripped from me. Is this game for a trophy or for fun? For a trophy. Well, then maybe next time you just spit out those answers that you already looked at before the show. Oh, is that right, clown? Is that right? I'm going to run the board next game. I'm not even planning. Give the plebeians a chance to win. Want to hear three things that us dudes want to hear on a first date? Yeah.

2:56:36As a guy, I want to know, well, what is that? And if you're a woman listening, I'm sure you want to know, what is that? Why don't you make it six things? Why not 12 things? How about 15 things? This is the top three. This is what a man wrote. Maybe let's change the article as we go. You guys should come up with one. Let's change the article. This is what it sounds like when you're letting it go. Woodsy is so upset that that victory was taken from us. to the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Relationships can last a lifetime, like those between people who work and serve together, and even between member and credit union. A relationship with Navy Federal can see cars and homes financed. It can last through deployment with programs designed for active duty through retirement and beyond. It's a relationship between a member with specific needs and the credit union designed to meet them. Navy Federal Credit Union.

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3:03:55car to CarMax for a free appraisal and a written offer to buy. It's good for seven days. The smart choice is CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln financial media station, the new home of the Mikey show. This is FM 94.9. But I like it a lot. 3T, anything? What's 3T? That's a band out now? Or is this a band from back in the day? Yeah, this is like 90s. It's back in the day. You ready for this, pal? The Facebook I just got? Go ahead, Woodsy. It said Woods is the bank and the show is the geezer bandit today. You got straight jacked. Is that right? Brilliant. So we robbed you? Yes. Was that from M1 Jamie? No. From my boy Corb Pollen. Making it right for the kid, dude. He knows what an injustice is done. M1 Pennybell. Right-handed. It's your dog.

3:05:35With a little paw. And your wife, M1 Hawkeye. That's right. Just Hawk. Oh, sorry. You know that. Dad. Let's see. Awesome time out the meet and greet. Hey, our web guy, Jared, showed up out at the meet and greet. By the way, if you see our brand new billboard here in town, you can basically have that same kind of artwork done just by going to his website, createyourdesignonline.com. So good. Yeah, he's our official graphic designer. Guy's amazing. Could be working in Hollywood. And he is one of the coolest, most professional, nicest dudes ever. And you know, Mike, I made a purchase last night. What? I bought a domain name. You did? I did. What is it? www.gitshop.com. Gitshop? G-I-T-S-H-O-P dot com. He's serious. He wants to start selling Git products. Git merchandise. Why not? I'm telling you, I'll be the first customer. I know you will. I'll be the first customer. I really will. How will Rebecca feel about that? You don't mind. You don't care. I'll put it on Amazon. He'll buy it. It'll be fine. Absolutely. I bought GetShop.com and I wanted to talk to Jared at some point about what to do. I made the wife executive vice president of Get Enterprises as well. So she's now going to be running the show. Jared can do your whole site.

3:07:00I want to go to getshop.com and it just be black and white letters. Just get. And then you hit it and you can see the products. You get the whole story, the whole bit. I'm going to make it right. I would get. Get underwear. Get underwear. I would get a get towel. Like a, what do they call it? A beach towel? Yes. Beach towel? Yeah. I'd get a get. To get people to keep away from space. How about a koozie? Yeah, Git Koozie. Or a guy on my team had a great idea. You know the beer openers that have songs and stuff? You open it and it goes, Git! Oh, I think a good one would be for girls. You know the little writing that's on the bottom? Git across the bottom. Love it. Meaning like, quit looking at my bum. Stop looking at my bum. It's like the... Juicy. Yeah, the juicy couture ones. Yeah, just Git. Instead of saying juicy, it's Git. Git. I bought it. I bought it. I own it. I am now the owner of GitShop.com. It's brilliant. Yep. Well, Jared can do the business cards, too, to go with your website. He does business cards. He does logos, websites. He does all of it. He's the best, dude. He really is. No kidding. I'm telling you that that dude's deal is better than anybody in terms of graphic design and graphic artwork and all of everything web. He does the Mikey Show website. Think about where we would be as a show without that guy.

3:08:20For real. We'd have no bumper stickers. No, we'd have nothing. No billboard. Guy's awesome. No website, yeah. No imaging. So if you want to work with our guy, createyourdesignonline.com. And he's a good guy to deal with. You'll like working with him. Three things that us dudes want to hear on a first date. What? Yes. This is specific. This is written from a man. That's it. Yes. That's all you want to hear. Yes, you may. Yes. Go ahead. Proceed. Enter. Enter. Creeper. Creeper. Creeper. Take your pants off. Gross. This is written from a man, and it's specifically what you want to hear. So they want to hear this one. Mike, you're going to say no. Woods will probably say no. Jay, maybe yes. Do you want to hear, do you work out? No, I don't because I know she's a ball buster. Yeah, I do. I certainly don't want to hear it. I don't want nothing to do with it. Because I know that she's just being sarcastic. Well, they say it's a win-win question because if the answer is yes, he'll be thrilled that you noticed. But if the answer is no, then that's a perfect time for you to tell him how fantastic he looks and he'll feel like he looks like he works out. Isn't that such a double-edged sword? Because if you said that to a girl on a date, they would be offended probably.

3:09:40Probably, yeah. I think maybe you're right. They don't think you're kind of creepy. If we're driving to a restaurant, right, me and you, and I go, do you work out? You'd be like, ooh, you creep. You might not word it that way, though, for a woman. You'd probably say, oh, you're in pretty good shape. Do you work out a lot or, like, are they active? My eyes don't leave your chest, and I go, do you work out? Do you work out? You know, your boy, Bark Malman, said to a girl one time that we were trying to fix him up with, very pretty face, gorgeous girl. He looked at her within five minutes of me and he goes, so what's your diet? I'm not kidding. I would have punched him in the face. Oh, yeah. She was like, okay, see you later. Can you believe that? Even if it was meant to be nice? Even if it was meant to be nice? How could that be nice? Why do you care? Because he said you look great. No, what's your diet? Number one, then that's just... Creepy? Yeah. It's creepy. It's a little Sally-ish. What if you're in really great shape? No? She wasn't. Oh. All right. Well, then maybe. She's a little hippie. So what did she say? Take me home. Yeah, a few pals. Hippie? I would have, too. What a jerk. She's a little hippie, like childbearing hip. Got it. Got it. I thought of a free spirit. I know. No, not a free spirit. Very pretty girl. Very attractive. What are the other two things that we as guys want to hear on our first date? I'll have the steak. Absolutely. Yes, you do. Do you want to hear the girl ordering the steak? Don't you? Why? It costs you more money.

3:11:05Yeah, I don't understand that. No, but it shows that the girl is enjoying herself. She enjoys the food. She hasn't lost her appetite because of the terrible restaurant you guys have chosen. Or you're not put off by something that they said. And it just shows, you know, that you're a woman. She's a cool chute. She eats. Let me have some. Give me the steak. Nothing. I don't. I don't. I don't garner any information from anything a girl orders unless it's very obvious that she's trying to order the most expensive items on the menu. What if she gets just salad? I always think that that's it. Dumb bit. It's a thing a girl thinks is cool. But you would notice it. Would notice that. But that's what I'm saying. Girl gets a chicken or steak or whatever. I don't care. I bet if you went on a date and she got the steak, you'd be like, oh, right. Wouldn't notice it. Maybe I would, but I don't think it would make me think anything. I'd be indifferent. I notice everything. I'm an observationalist, so I observe everything, but I don't really get any information from it unless she said, I'll take the filet mignon and the lobster tail. I would go, oh, really? A surf and turf. Because then it's very obvious what's going on. You're getting hosed. You're getting hosed. And the last thing is, they put fake quotes with nothing in it. They said, it isn't about what she says, it's about what she does. So this is the most important thing, are the unspoken ones. Like, does she make eye contact? Does she seem relaxed and comfortable? Does she pay attention, seem genuinely interested? Those are more significant than anything that she can say during a date. There's nothing worse, male or female. There is nothing worse.

3:12:33than a nervous person on a date. Yeah. You mean the guy with the sticky ice that spills water on you three times? He spilled water on you three times? Three times. Get out. No way. Yeah. He spilled water. Tell me. First time was full on. It was like one of those like shaking it because he's super nervous when he was taking a sip. Yeah, and just like spilled water, everything all over the table. Then it slid backwards, one of these things. Oh my gosh. Yeah, then the second time... If that were me, that'd be hard to continue. I would have left. Oh, yeah. I'll be right back. He's going to run to the restroom. I'll be like, dude... Let's try this again next week. Yeah, chill out, dude. Everything's going to be okay. Oh, you give him that pity bit. Oh, the pity thing. Oh, it's okay, Chief. Just settle down a little bit. Oh, the first time it was funny. We were both like, ah, the old sticky ice bit happens every time. Then what? Second time it was like knocked over in the process of his nervousness and like... you know, fumbling around. Now that had to be funny because, oh my gosh. Oh, wow. Seriously? Can't believe it happened again. Did I just do that again? So you were both doing that, right? Yeah, but I still was a little bit like, all right, I'm still not dry from the last time. Right. Really? So how'd the third one happen? The third one was like on our way out. Like didn't really spill on me, but knocked the glass over again. Holy cow. Had you already made the decision before that spill that it was not going to happen? No second date?

3:13:53Yeah, there's other things. There's other red flags that were also happening. Shaking hands is one of them. Was he a good kisser? Sweaty hands. I went on a date. I went on a date one time. I've always been the bad date. I don't have I don't have stories of, oh, this girl was a terrible date. I'm the bad date. You're the one that they're on the phones with to their friends going, you'll never believe. Sir eats a lot. Sir eats a lot. They're living somewhere right now, Toledo, Ohio, calling a radio station where the topic is your worst first date stories. And they're like, there was this fat Mexican I went on a date with one time in San Diego. He ate right off my plate. Yeah. He couldn't stop himself. I went on a date one time and it was a first date. And we went, I don't even remember what was going on there, but we went to the sports arena. And I was so uncomfortable with myself and my, you know. This is the sweaty. My body, yes. And we go in there and I'm sweating. I'm sweating.

3:15:06I don't know. 45 degrees. You know when you go to a concert and it's summer and you have the two-mile walk to the gate. You know what? It wasn't. A concert would have been ideal because it would have been dark in there. Whatever it was, escapades on ice, I don't know what it was. Disney on ice, we know that. Whatever it was, the house lights were on. Oh, no. Circus? We're walking down. We're walking down. Yeah, it was a circus. We're walking down the stairs. And I'm like. I don't know. I'm just with my palm of my hand. Oh, no. And the minute you convince yourself that it's hot. Yep. You can't stop sweating. Makes you sweat more. You're like, try to be cool. Try to be cool. Picture Alaska. Deep breath, deep breath. And then just sweat pouring out of your head. It's like I jumped in a pool. Is it hot in here? Is it your first date? Yeah. The last date? Oh, yeah. I've been the first and last date for a lot of women. I think I have, too. Doesn't it make you guys nervous, too, when you say, is it hot in here? And the person's like, no. No, not at all. I never went on just, like, a date. Never again. You just slayed guys? No, no. I went on dates, but it was always, like, a multiple. Like, I never went on just one date randomly. Yeah, that was my MO for a while. You gave them a second chance?

3:16:30No, I always ended up dating him. Really? Yeah, never just a random guy would I go on a date with him. You never had a bad date? No. Wow. Oh, boy. I'm pretty lucky. I've had a couple of dates that were bad. I used to drink a lot. Really? Yeah, a lot. You write that down. I was at a place in Fort Worth called, it was called Ado's, 8.0. Great place. I mean, I had a ball there. Met a girl there for drinks one night. Well, your boy decides. To big time this girl. I'm probably 22 years old. To big time this girl, I'm going to drink scotch. Are you kidding me? It's a gentleman's drink. A gentleman's drink. So your boy starts getting glasses of scotch and water. And I'm talking to this girl. And we're standing outside. It's an open air place. And I'm drinking scotch. I'm 21 years old. 22 years old. In the middle of the day. Mind you. It's evening. I dropped three glasses of scotch on the ground. Shattered.

3:17:30Three? Three. How? Why? Because I was hammered. Because a different, I'd get a different weight. It's packed at eight hours in the summer. And I'd be like, and she's like, oh boy, that was, I was like, it's slippery. It's wet. It's slippery. It's sweating, condensation. And then I get the other one, pound it, get another one, drop it, get another one, pound it. I was hammered. Hammered, hammered. Yeah, girls love it on a first date when the guy gets hammered. Hammered. Guys like it when the girl does that. Yes, we do. Very much. That one Public's on the line. Are you there, Public? Hey, yeah. I had a weird date a couple months ago. What happened? I got hooked up at a restaurant, a really nice restaurant, and I loved it. And they told me to come in there, and Neil was totally for free to get whatever we want. I was stoked. So I bring my date along, and I order, like, you know, like, a pretty good halibut. And she orders a Caesar salad. And that was it. For me, it was a huge red flag because I was getting, I was a little upset that that's all she would get. Why were you upset? Because it was free. It was for free. She knew that? I wanted to impress her, you know, like, you know, get whatever you want. Yeah, I know it's for free and everything like that, and I'm not paying for it, but...

3:18:52Did you feel self-conscious eating a big meal while she was just having a Caesar salad? Yeah, I did. I felt a little self-conscious. I'm a pig. She's just eating a salad. That kind of deal? I don't know. That's what I didn't want her to think. I didn't want her to think that, oh, you need to eat a salad because she wasn't in bad shape at all. I didn't want her to think I was one of those kind of guys. I was really trying to push on her, get anything you want. In a girl's mind, I don't know. This is just the way I... felt was it doesn't really matter what the guy eats we're not going to really think anything different but unfortunately i think guys can feel differently if it on what we order the only time i think a guy would do that is if the girl is a little bigger boned but then the girl has to question but some girls think you know girls always think they're bigger than they are Really? Then they're going to have to sit there and think, especially if they're having an off week. Wait a minute, though. A recurring cycle. An off week. An off week. But if you're a girl that's in shape, you don't realize that?

3:20:03We have a very warped perception. I guess. Crazy. I guarantee the reason the girls get the salad is because they don't want to come off like that. How about the guy that gets the salad? What do you think about that guy? No, guys can get whatever. Not a salad. They don't. But guys can get the fattiest mac and cheese with sausage. And we feel great. We're like, get whatever you want. I could care less, even if he was a little chunky. What about you, L.O.B.? You would judge. I think I got a salad? Well, no. But if you go out with a guy and he's a little... You know, got a little meat on his bones. Like the kid. Yeah, like me. You're out with Chins. Chins McGee over here. Yeah, you're out with Super Chubs. No, I wouldn't. I would think more if I'm, listen. She would never go out with us. First of all, if I were blinded and I went out with one of you guys, sure. I've been accused of being pretty blunt in my day. Weird. But if a guy ordered a salad, I would literally say to him. That's all you're going to get? Come on, Sally. You're not hungry? If he was chubby and he ordered a salad, I would feel bad. I'd be like, after the meal, I'd be like, let's get a dessert or something because I would say maybe he feels bad. That's okay. You might get a pity sleigh out of that. I'll take the cucumber flower. I would feel bad if he was a little chubby and just got a salad. Yeah, I would too. Maybe you get a pity sleigh out of it. Grossest thing you've said in an hour. In an hour. In an hour. This breaks.

3:21:28The grossest thing you've said this break. We should have like a little dinger every time he says those things. Like, that was it. That'd be the end of the show. 570-1949. Bad dates. Worst dates. Oh, there's got to be. There's people wrecking their cars right now to get to their cell phones. I know it. Oh, yeah. I bet the guy whose hand I shook at the end of the night. Yeah, he'd call in. That's right there. Yeah, the guy that asked L.O.B. for a kiss. She turned her head to the side. She squinted her eyes, smiled. Let's reenact it. Let's reenact it. Hey, thanks so much for coming out with me. Oh, thanks for asking me. That was my pleasure. Sure it was. Just a quick question. Can I kiss you right now? No. No. Yeah! Yeah, he'd call in, except he lives in a cave. Yeah, he's living in a tree somewhere. My skin is crawling. My hairs are standing straight up. I've heard the story five times. It still makes my skin crawl in embarrassment and humiliation for that guy, even now when I hear it. And she does that head shake and the squint. Is it better if I kiss somebody that I don't want to kiss? Yes, absolutely. Isn't that beating him on? No, just never talk to him again. Yeah, don't do that.

3:22:45I think it's better. Yeah, he asked. I got a cold sore. See, I got a cold sore. See, I don't think that. He shouldn't have asked. He shouldn't have asked. If he didn't want an honest response. No, he shouldn't have asked. But he went in for the, if he had gone in. Yeah, the cheek. And then she would have given him the, whoa, easy cheek. I could have easily acted like I didn't see it or flipped my hair out of the way or been like, oh, what's that on my shirt? But when you ask, I've got to be honest. I cannot tell a lie. Lauren O'Brien. M1 La Jolla from La Jolla. What's going on? Oh, hello. Hey. Hey. When you're on a date with a woman, if she orders a steak, you're saying, thank God, she's normal. She's not on this funky diet. She's okay with herself. She's not going to be self-judging herself all the time. It's actually a total blessing when a woman orders a steak. If a girl has got some meat on her bones, and she orders the mac and cheese, and she gets extra sausage. That's the problem. Extra sausage. That's the problem. She's comfortable. Can I get some extra ground beef thrown in there? You know, would you be like, oh, really? Wow. You do the gentleman thing. You go, yeah. Can I also get her a salad with that too? Cancel that first order. Then I would think to myself, okay, she's a project. If I'm really into it.

3:24:02Can you bring her a ladle of creme brulee, please? See, that's what sucks. I don't think no matter how fit the girl is, I don't think it's ever a good idea to order like the fatty mac and cheese. No matter what. But a guy can do it and it's fine. I would think it was really cool if a skinny girl ordered mac and cheese. Me too. Really? I have a crazy suggestion. Okay. Maybe you like somebody for their insides. Oh, really? Yeah. Really? I bet Lauren's dated a lot of fat guys in her day. How dare she? Here's the deal. She's going to say all this. I guarantee you she's the most shallow person on the land. You should see my smorgasbord of past dating. Surfers, guitar players, musicians, models. I'm sure they look like Gary Coleman. I'm sure they look like me. Some of them do. Fat belly. Can you imagine me and Lauren dating and she's like, oh, do you want to go for a hike? And I'm like, I'm on the couch eating cheesecake, blasting cigarettes. No, I don't want to go on a hike. But I don't think you'd go on a date if I'm, you know. A cigarette smoker was a deal breaker. As a matter of fact, the guy that asked if he could kiss me, he was a cigarette smoker. And I'm like, I don't want an ashtray in my mouth. Judger. I'm not judging. It's judging. What if he was really good on the inside? M1 Medic from San Diego. He's ruining his insides.

3:25:24What's up? I know. Okay, so when I used to go on a date with a girl, I used to go out. Hey, let's go out for breakfast. Maybe brunch and you can go and hang. Have a good time. All right, then you have the rest of the day to just kind of do what you want. Hey, your night's free. Mm-hmm. But if the date does go good, you know, you have the rest of the day. Hang out with everything you want. That's huge. So on this time, I asked her out for lunch. She said, meet me at California. Good time. I see this girl. Get out of her car. I'm sitting down. Wait, it's a blind date? Yeah, blind date, right? Everyone has that when they sit down. No, when she's walking, right? Is that a muffin top? Oh my gosh!

3:26:17Oh, and she forgot to mention that to you? Yeah, there was a slight case of not mentioning that. She's eight months pregnant with some other guy's baby. She's no longer dating. That is totally acceptable for you to say. See ya. Bye. That's totally acceptable. Withholding information. Even as women, you guys say, if a guy shows up to a blind date and a girl's pregnant. he's well within his rights to say, see you later. If you're about to have a baby and you didn't tell him to say anything. Who's the dill hole that set them up? And was it nine months ago when she set them up? Like, hey, I know it's January. You got a date in September with Judy. And then Judy shows up. She's eight months pregnant. I guarantee her friend was like, listen, just because you are pregnant, that does not mean that you can't go on dates. That's so great. I can't believe how shallow you are. She is such a good person. She's such a good person. You don't even deserve to go. I'm so mad at you. Really? You didn't tell me she was pregnant? I can't believe how shallow you are. Look, she's not asking for you to take care of her baby. Yeah. You're not getting married. She can do that herself. Can't she? She's not asking you to be her father. Isn't she? Words. God, I would probably do the bit of if I saw her looking around, I probably would have gotten up and run away. You wouldn't assume, though. You're like, there's no way. Well, yeah, you're right. Because you'd be like, that's not her. Yeah.

3:27:36And then she's like, are you Steve? And I'm like, no. Yeah. My name's Bill. M1 Ladybug from Sarah Mesa. Hey, guys. Hi. I was calling because, okay, my bad date was actually quite recently. He picked me up. This guy, we, like, hooked up online again because we, like, went to high school together. Pause, pause, pause. I have so many questions. Instantly fascinated by you. How old are you? I'm 24. Okay, and you met up again because you went to high school together, but you met up on what website? It was a dating website. What? Plenty of Fish. Give it a plug. Give it a plug. I got it. What? Plenty of Fish. That's a real site? That's a real site? Yeah, I know somebody met someone on it. It's a free one. It's my nickname for Long John Silvers. Plentyoffish.com. That's a real popular one. You went on a website called Plenty of Fish. It's free. Yeah. And you met up with a guy that you actually knew in high school. No, I didn't know him. I'd just seen him around, and he said that he'd always wanted to approach me because he had this huge crush on me, but he was always too nervous. It's a good move, man. After high school, everybody's kind of settled down a little bit. Someone told me that once. Do you remember him? I remember seeing him. Did you think he was a good-looking guy back in high school?

3:29:01At the time, I had a boyfriend, so I wasn't going to be in that frame of mind. I wasn't looking for people. Difference between guys and girls. Yeah, difference between guys and girls. So, okay. Pigs! So, you went on a date with him, and what happened? Okay, so he picked me up at the house, which is cool. We go out, and so we start driving, and the first thing he says to me is he asks... Tell me what I'd like to do. And I told him, well, I'm kind of old-fashioned. And if you asked me on a date, I figured you would have something planned. That is, let me tell you something. That move by that guy is the worst. Idiotic. It's idiotic. If you're a dude, don't say to a girl, what do you want to do? It shows that you're a dweeb. Have a plan, pal. Yes, have a plan. Have a good plan. Yes. So he decides, he goes, okay, well, I know what we're going to do. And starts driving. And I'm like, so where are we going? He's like, it's a surprise. I'm in this car with this guy I've never met. To a field. And he looks at me where we're going. He's just driving. And I'm like, should I tuck and roll? An abandoned warehouse. Like, I should just make a break for it. He took me down. We didn't get any food.

3:30:15Feed me. Automatic deal breaker. I don't care if you want to take me to McDonald's. If you don't feed me, automatic deal breaker. Oh. You want to come see my world? Yeah. Yeah. You want to go back to the house? If we need to hang out, but this is a date. If we're on a date, then if it's around dinner time, I'm expecting to be fed. I'm sorry. Okay. Hey, I tell you what, Ladybug, I am desperately late. He just got stabbed by Jay. I'm desperately late. However, I want to know what happened. Can you hang with me? Yeah. Okay, okay. Don't go anywhere. Don't go anywhere. Nice. Good pick, Sienna. Great pick. This is Dallas, Mike. Oh, absolutely. Yep, this is our time, buddy. Staying. It's been a while. We'll be right back. We'll talk to Ladybug from Sierra Mesa about what happened on this bad day. And you can call us, too. 570-1949 with your bad days. It's been a while since I could. Hold my head up high. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Baker. You now have a new Chase mortgage. Okay, so about this mortgage. It's going to pay us 1% cash back every year? It's the 1% mortgage cash back from Chase. 1% cash back every year into your checking account or applied to your principal. So it's kind of like the house is helping to pay for itself? Well, kind of. It could save you thousands over the life of your loan. Okay, when you say cash back, what exactly do you mean?

3:31:49Um, I mean, it gives you cash back. Right, which is bank speak for... Getting cash back. Up to $500 per year. Hmm, and how exactly will we be getting this cash back? Automatically. Oh, I like that. Me too, but come on. Cash back on a mortgage? Banks don't do that. Chase does. The 1% mortgage cash back from Chase when you refinance or get a new Chase mortgage. Seriously, it's as good as it sounds. Stop into a branch today or go to chase.com slash mortgage cash back to see all the ways Chase lets you earn cash back. Chase what matters. All home lending products are subject to credit and property approval. A Chase checking account required. Other restrictions, limitations apply. J.P. Morgan, Chase McKinney, member FDIC. Fox Monday, on the breathtaking season finale of House, when the crane crushes a high rise, House is faced with a life-changing choice. How bad will it hurt? There's nothing near ourself before it. Only three hours left of 24. Jack takes the former president hostage. You want to get through this thing alive? You're going to do exactly what I say. Now, his hunger for justice may cost him his life. I sure hope you know what you're doing. Guess I ain't no coming back from it. I wasn't planning on coming back. 24, the final hours. Right after the season finale of House. Tonight.

3:33:03Starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then, right after Fox, watch Fox 5 News at 10 with Kathleen Bade and Candace Gibson. All the day's news, all in HD. Watch Fox 5 News at 10 tonight. The Fox 5 Morning News has $100,000. You've got 60 seconds to snatch your share. The Fox 5 $100,000 cash grab powered by Viejas Casino. Win weekday mornings. Nissan. We've made our vehicles dependable, safe, and award-winning. And right now, during the Nissan National Ted Event, we've made them easier to get. With great deals on a full line of cars, crossovers, trucks, and SUVs, the Nissan National Ted Event is going on now. Get to a Nissan dealer today and get $500 bonus cash on most new Nissans. In honor of the Tour of California, that means up to $2,750 in total savings on Rogue. a Consumer's Digest Best Buy. Look for the tent at your local Nissan dealer and find savings on your new Nissan with $500 bonus cash on top of all existing offers. Nissan's national tent event ends soon. Get to a dealer today.

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3:35:30Boom, I'm checking out a live feed of the news. And now, today's headlines from around the world. Fast, right? See, home high-speed internet from AT&T has blazing fast speed, so it's easy to download funny videos, like this dog on a unicycle. That's strange. And just as quickly, I can do a little social networking. Lisa is craving a slice of pizza. Lisa got these cool glasses on sale. And high-speed internet from AT&T also includes access to the nation's largest Wi-Fi network at no extra charge. Hey, can you guys keep it down? Rude. You're the one with all the browser windows open, mister. Switch to high-speed internet from AT&T. Starting at just $19.95 a month with no home phone required. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT or visit att.com slash no cord. Taxes, excessive usage, and other charges apply. Quoted price for internet direct basic up to 768k speed and requires one year term commitment. DSL modem or router required. For details, visit att.com slash offer details. This summer, whether it's a planned escape or a day under the radar, wink, wink, take it off with all-natural pop chips. Never fried, never baked, they're popped. A tasty new way of popping in the flavor for a chip so crispy and delicious, you won't even notice it's, well, I hesitate to say, healthier. With all the flavor and less than half the fat of fried chips, fewer calories, who wouldn't want to pop one in their mouth?

3:36:45So pop over to Henry's Farmer's Market to get your Palm Chips. Also, pop over to FM949SD.com for your chance to win a no-regrets vacation courtesy of Palm Chips and our friends at STA Travel. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. Business Week ranks the University of San Diego's Evening MBA program as one of the top 30 in the nation and gives our faculty an A-plus for teaching quality. I'm Casey Hayes, Director of MBA Admissions at the University of San Diego. If you're looking to advance your career with an MBA from a program that's highly ranked for student satisfaction and academic quality, visit us at sandiego.edu slash MBA. Don't just aim for the top. Start there. There's no place like Navy Federal for low mortgage rates on your new home. To calculate your payment, visit navyfederal.org. Equal housing lender. Here's more of the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Let me tell you something. I'd never admit this to anybody. I love this song. Except now, on the air. I have a story too. Jesse McCartney. When Todd and I first started dating, he liked it. We were in the car, in a cab or something like that. Yeah, in a cab. And we had both had a few beverages on the way home. And this song was on, in the cab, and he sang the entire...

3:38:19And I reminded him in the morning. He's like, what are you talking about? I don't even know that song. Did you guys wake up in the same place? Yeah, you woke up in the same place. How did you wake up in the same place? We had been dating. Was it one of your first dates? We had been dating for like an hour. I'm just kidding. He waits for something. Todd the God, dude. Guy closed his business real good. TTG. TTG, real good. It makes me think that there's a lot of other closet Jesse McCartney fans out here. Really? Really. Musicals. It's a good song. It's very catchy. Let's go back to M1 Ladybug. Are you there, Ladybug? Yes, I am. She's telling us her bad date story. Guy, just to catch you up, it's a guy that she went to high school with. She met him up. She met up with him on a free dating website called Fish in the Sea. Plentyoffish.com. Plentyoffish.com. Fish in the Sea. Fish in with dynamite. Fish in with cigs. And they went on a date and he was the worst. She said that.

3:39:18He said, oh, yeah, you know, I always wanted to approach you in high school, but I just didn't have the guts. I was in the band and you were on Cool Girls. That's right. I was not a cool girl. Well, anyway, you guys, he picks you up and then he does the real classic not cool move. What do you want to do? Which means he hasn't thought about it. I'm only lashing out at him because I'm sure I've done that. But anyway, so what happened? He ends up driving me out to Coronado to show me around his job. To show you around his work? Yeah. Unless he plays for the Padres, that's not a good move, dude. He works, his company's contracted by the military. And so he was showing me the military base. I grew up in the Navy. This is not anything I haven't seen. It's not impressive to me. Showing me stuff I grew up around. Strike two. Oh, no, no, no, no. I think that qualifies as four more strikes. Well, that's definitely two because, one, he didn't feed her. Two, he took her to work. That's two strikes. How boring. So then he drives me out to this, like, really dark, secluded part of the base. Oh, God. Where there's, like, this pier. And I'm thinking, okay, now he's definitely crazy, and he's going to kill me and dump me in the water. Right. And wear your skin. Yeah. And so I don't know.

3:40:46I'm always really careful about this. The last guy I dated for like three years, the first time he took me to a place that was secluded like that. Uh-oh, they're coming for him. I hear that ambulance. I hear his ride's there. I'm in Mission Valley. Okay. So are we. So, okay, so he talked me into getting out of the car with him and walking along this pier. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Here, you're saying... I'm very careful about these things, yet you're in dude's car. I let him blindfold me. He handcuffed me. And then I pulled out the handcuffs out of my purse. Because I'm really careful about these things. I didn't want to let him use his own handcuffs. That's why I always bring my own handcuffs. I had a spare key, though. Don't worry. He made a small incision in my skin. to be optimistic. Maybe it's going to get better from here. If he ends up being crazy, I can fight him off. I mean, my dad taught me how to fight. If I don't win, at least he'll limp away. So what happened?

3:41:51So he walked me out to the end of this pier and it's really beautiful out there. You can see all of the San Diego Bay and all that. And I can tell he's trying to kiss me. I've been with this guy like 30 minutes. So uncomfortable. And every time he like leans down to me, I'm like, look at, isn't this a typical view? Look at that over there. First time that happens. Guys, don't try again. Like, yeah, go. You know what? I'm sorry. I'll take you home. You apologize the first time she doesn't go for it. Forget it. It's over. If she didn't want it the first time, two minutes later, she hasn't changed her mind. No. Yeah. So finally, I'm like, I talked him into taking me to go get coffee because it's cold. And I just I wanted to get where people were. So he takes me down to Horton Plaza, but the Starbucks is closed. And I'm like, well, I could have told you that before we even got here. This is painful. I'm in pain. So we go out to this other coffee shop that I frequent, and we had coffee, and I talked to him for, like, a little while. He ended up taking me home around 11. Never saw him again, right? No, I didn't. Married him. Yeah, they're married. They have four kids.

3:43:03He tried to text me, he tried to email me, all this stuff, and I never responded. And it just kept going on for like three weeks. How old? How old was he? How old was he? He was my age. He was 24. Got it. All right, Ladybug. Thank you. Go ahead. All he ever kept talking about the whole night was either his job or his past relationship. Oh, man. Very uncomfortable guy. He started asking me about my past relationships. I was just like, okay, this is... And his sewing machine. Yeah. Talked about a sewing machine. Yeah. Holy cow. Do you want to go back to my place and see my sewing machine? It's a singer. It's great. It's great. Oh, wait. No size 14. When I was 14, I was real awkward. Weird. Liked this girl named Dana. And I was 13. We were in eighth grade. She came over to the house and... Gosh. What, Mike? Oh, boy. A new one? What, Mike? A new one? You know what just happened right there? What? I thought, can I bear it? You left your body. Can I bear it? Oh, please. You can do it. Oh, I have to know now. I'm dying. Maybe after the break? Yep. Yep. You know why I'm doing this? Because I know five years from now. Oh, no. You guys will still make this. Oh, yes. It's gold. I haven't. I've never said it at the other stage. I was going to say, have you ever said it on the air? Never said it on the air. Yes.

3:44:39I can't wait. Be right back. Let's just lay here for a while. Part of the Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. A message from the Mazda 6 sports sedan to its competitors. Bring it on. Let's go toe-to-toe, tire-to-tire on everything. Let's compare room, standard features, safety ratings, how it feels on a test drive, the works. Bring it on. Let's see what the experts say. Let's talk things like V6 horsepower. Got your beat there, Camry Accord and Altima. Bring it on. Let's put it all on charts at our dealerships and let the consumer decide what to drive. Because we think it'll be a slam dunk for the 2010 Mazda 6. Hey, you know what? Only been tossing a really good offer you can try to beat.

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3:46:23Ovation is proud to be a San Diego partner with City of Hope's Walk for Hope, presented nationally by Staples. Join the thousands nationwide committed to ending women's cancers. Be a part of this fundraising event Saturday, May 22nd, and help raise money for research, treatment, and education. To sign up for Walk for Hope, Visit walkforhope.org. To learn how Ovation Cell Therapy can work for you, log on to ovationhair.com and watch the testimonials. Or visit the Ovation booth at Walk for Hope, Saturday, May 22nd. We'll be there to answer your questions. Ovationhair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 for your special introductory discount. Ovation can work for you, too. Long day, honey? Uh-huh. I desperately need a trip to Blissville. Let's go. I'm totally craving a frappe at Mickey D's. A frappe what? Frappe. You're not making any sense. A frappe, as in McCafe frappe? What are you talking about? McDonald's takes a little coffee magic ice...

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3:51:15And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like rain. I like sunshine. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. All I wanted to be was Paul Stanley. I couldn't wait till I turned 18. I wanted to get the rose tattoo on my arm. Yeah. Paul Stanley had it and a hairy chest. Sienna. You know how I like some farting humor. And Jay. I've got bees in my attic right now. On FM 94.9. Sienna's picking the music today. You know that. One, two, it's Dre. Bring it to the folks. Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. Dre is at the door. I bet my wife is singing along with every word of this right now. Oh, 100. I have the edited version, though, so she's probably dropping the bombs at home with the kids. Hey, Miguel, we have a very special birthday today. M14 wins. It's her birthday. And she says she hates her birthday, but she said give me a birthday shout-out. No need to sing the falsetto song, which is good. You can't hate your birthday that bad, though. Happy birthday, my dear. Happy birthday.

3:52:20So when I was 13. Oh, gold, gold, gold. I'm so ready for this. I want to know. I want to know where the gold at. You're going to go, maybe there's something wrong with you. Oh, boy. That good, huh? 13? Mm-hmm. Okay. I had this girl come over to my house, and we were in my room, and I thought it would be cool to build a card house. Like a deck of cards? House of cards. House of cards. With her or before she got there? With her. Did she take you up on that offer? Oh, man. Oh. Mikey. Mikey is bending over right now as if he's going to throw up. His hands are on his knees. Walk me through it, dude. I need more. My testimony is easier to give than what I did. But you just ripped the band-aid right off. You did good. Yeah. What? It's going through your head. Why, Mike? Did you see it on a show? Immature brain. My brain had not developed yet. It still hasn't. Did Ricky Schroeder do it on silver spoons or something? Yeah. Hey, so I have this really cool set of Legos. Maybe we can make a Lego castle. I bet to this day, she's too embarrassed to tell that story. So she sat and did that? Did your dad walk by and was like, Mike, what are you doing?

3:53:42Were you successful in building one or did they all just fall over? I've never tried to do that. Why, Mike? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's one of those, right? It's like, dude, how about watch a movie? Like, it's gold. Hey, let's watch a movie. I know what we can do. We can build a house of cards. How about make out? I don't know. He's a talker, though. It's a good way of getting to know each other, baby. Over building a house of cards. Hey, this looks like a good curved one. Hey, let's make a roof for it. Make a roof now. Make a little door. Have you ever made four stories? I've only made three stories. What if we gave it a chimney? Hey, look, you can make the door swing like this. Yeah, rip the card in half, and what you do is it looks like a little chimney, and you make fake smoke come out of it. See this right here? I just made a garage. Holy.

3:54:32I start with the Ace of Spain for the first one. Oh, my gosh. This is where we're going to put our children in this little room. Throw the jokers out. You don't need the jokers. This isn't an actual card. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. So much is explained. Oh, my gosh. This is you, the queen of hearts. Yeah. And I'm the king. You had older brothers, dude. Did I do that? You had older brothers. You know what I remember so vividly about it? What? I remember, oh my gosh. She hated it? Yeah. She ran screaming. Do you remember her looking at her watch? She was so good looking. She was so good looking. She was a blonde girl. Her name was Dana. I remember, I can remember right now in my head, I can remember taking the card in the carpet and making like the little, you know, to really dig it into the carpet. Oh, you're a nerd. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Dudes that waited in line for Avatar are like, that dude is a dork. Seriously, he is a dork. Those guys at the senior center that were like, I'd never do that. Yeah, yeah. We didn't do that in 1920 when we had nothing to do. Oh, my gosh. Why don't you just, like, kick the can, dude? How about that? Luke just called. You know what? Let me tell you something.

3:55:49In retrospect, if I had played kick the can, it had been 50 times cooler. Hey, Dad. Does your wife know that story? Yeah, Luke. Yeah, Luke. It's Luke. Yeah, what's up? You're a dork. I know it. I know. Does Rebecca know that story? She just heard it for the first time right now. Right now, what are you doing? You guys, you guys, I've never told another human being that story. You know what she's doing right now. There were two people that knew it. Me and Dana. I bet Dana has told people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know what Rebecca's doing right now? She's pouring herself a cocktail. Yeah. She's pouring a scotch. I can't believe. She's like, I live with him. Yeah. Yeah. Lucky me. Yeah. Yeah. He's all mine. Let me hit the lottery. She's going to do a puzzle afterwards? He's all mine. Jigsaw puzzle? Oh, Mike. Were you expecting that? No. No. I mean, it's. It's on par with writing I love you in a girl's hand and setting that whole scene up, but it's way worse. That's like, writing in the, that's sappy, like, love mood. That's ridiculous. If Helen Keller is your girlfriend, it's really sappy. If not, then it's just ridiculous. Card building is just, it doesn't matter if you did that alone. Why didn't you just play matchbox cars with her, dude?

3:56:55Maybe electric football. Remember that game? Paper football. You could have played paper football, and that would have been more fun. Okay, you kick the ball. I'll be the goal. Yeah. I'm one summer. Hey. Hi. I think it's adorable. Do you? Is that right? And here's why. When you're a 13-year-old boy, your hormones are racing, and you think you like this girl enough to want to get to know her. And build a house of cards for her. I think it's absolutely adorable. That was my thinking. What are you, Harry Houdini? What are you building a house of cards for, dude? That's what I liked. He didn't know what else to do. Hey, we're going to do a magic show. I'm Mikey the Magician. You're Dana. You can be my assistant. I have a rabbit. And elementary or, you know, excuse me, not elementary school, but junior high school. And it was horrible. That's mortifying. Hillary just walked in dying laughing. It's mortifying. Yeah, I'd be mortified. All the years I've been on the radio, I've never told that story. I wonder why. Bragging rights. Holy cow. Oh my gosh. That's some gold, pal. Hell, you ever had a guy... You ever had a guy build you a little house of cards? Real sweetly. Real sweetly. Real sweetly. No, I haven't. What's the worst? I was thinking about it, listening to you guys on the way in, and I...

3:58:21I've had a few interesting ones, but it's kind of funny. My first date with my husband, actually, my now husband, almost didn't happen because... Poor guy. I'm going to fillet him here. But he... We made like... the date for, like, 8 o'clock. Yeah, I'll be there at 8, pick you up or whatever. By 9.15, he hadn't shown up. And this was before everyone had cell phones and stuff. Yeah, the old days. Yeah, I, like, left a message on his machine, like, hey, I thought we were going out tonight. Oh, you did not call. Well, but then. Yeah, you do. Yes. Hillary, you do it. By, like, 9 o'clock, an hour later. Of course. You wouldn't expect that? No. Oh, I would. And then I left. I went to see Unwritten Lot 4th and B with my friend Megan. I went to her house. I cried because I was like, I really thought this guy was going to be a good guy. And got home at like 2 a.m. and he was downstairs because that's how I met him. He was good friends with one of my neighbors. He was like downstairs partying and he was like, hey, you want to hang out? I was like, nope. What was his excuse? He just...

3:59:25Lost track of time. He's such a good guy. And ever since then, he's been great about it. But he sent me flowers the next day. So he just phased out. He was like, I just lost track of time. I knew we had a date. He said he came up to my apartment and I was gone. Question. How did you give him date number two? How did you give him date number two? Because I knew. I knew he was a good guy. And he was so sincerely sorry. And, you know, our group of friends is pretty casual. Here's the thing. Also, I had sworn off dating for six months, and I was like, I'm going to make an exception for this guy because I really feel it with him. But I was also on a mission to, like, guys better treat me right or I'm out. And so this was, like, our first date. He was a little late, and I was over it. But I knew. I knew he was a good guy. If I had a date with Hillary, I would have been there at 7.15. Really? Yeah. 7.15. What were your girlfriends telling you? Oh, they were, you know, girls had girls talk. We're like, dudes suck. Let's go see Unwritten Law. Let's get hammered. That's right. Come here, girl. I'm going to buy you a shot. What do you got coming up, Hill? Oh, kinds of good stuff. I've been on this Black Crows sort of tip lately. I don't know why. Southern action. So I'll play them, some Ramones, Devo's new song. It's so great. And Edward Sharp, the Magnetic Zero. Susie and the Bad Shoes. Nice.

4:00:51Nice. All right. Lovely and talented Hillary up next. We're going to go build a house of cards. Really? Yeah, in our meeting. Really? Don't anybody Photoshop a little house of cards? Very tiny. Tiny brown house. Mikey's house. Mikey and Dana's. I really did. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6. Mikey shows up. About the music all day and night. FM 94.9. It's about the music.