The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/16/11
Monday, May 16, 2011
OSI Harley giveawaybaseball controversiescelebrity hypocrisycampaign advertisingbreakup ethicsrelationships and moneychildhood embarrassmentprivacy and consentpolygamyband egoradio showcomedy
Mikey, Woodsy, Lauren O'Brien, Sienna, and Jay celebrated the OSI Harley giveaway, revisited Doc Ellis's LSD no-hitter, and dissected Woodsy's furious reaction to Jorge Posada and a Yankees sweep. They condemned Jesse James for attacking Sandra Bullock, ridiculed Dan Adler's minority-outreach campaign ad, and told Mikey that secretly photographing an injured stranger was indefensible. Jessica's failed breakup became a sharp argument after a Cabo offer kept her relationship alive, while an Indecent Proposal discussion exposed wildly different prices and boundaries around sex, money, and marriage. The lighter confessions included Mikey's childhood flute-enchantment routine, Woodsy's dubious claim to semi-pro baseball status, a detour through polygamy, and a debate over Caleb Falwell's apparent frontman ego.
What happened, in order
The Harley bag opens
Lauren O'Brien screamed when she saw that her bag held the winning Harley-Davidson entry, turning the OSI giveaway into what Mikey called an electric moment.
The LSD no-hitter
The crew retold the story of Doc Ellis unexpectedly taking the mound on LSD and throwing a no-hitter, while firmly rejecting the joke that pitchers should use it as a treat.
Posada and the Yankees meltdown
Woodsy condemned Jorge Posada for pulling himself from the Yankees lineup rather than bat ninth, then admitted that the Red Sox sweep made him throw his hat, curse, and take his anger out at home.
Mikey photographs the ankle
Mikey secretly photographed a stranger's grotesquely dislocated ankle during a church service project, and the others argued that documenting her pain without permission made him a creep rather than a helpful witness.
Dan Adler's minority pitch
The hosts played Dan Adler's campaign ad linking his Jewish identity and Korean wife to minority voters, then mocked its awkward claim that those facts qualified him to represent Asian constituents.
Jesse James takes the low road
After hearing Jesse James belittle Sandra Bullock and Hollywood while promoting his book, Mikey and the crew called him a bully and a hypocrite for cheating, chasing fame, and then blaming the wife who trusted him.
A breakup becomes Cabo
Jessica said she tried to end her year-long relationship in person but stayed when her boyfriend offered a Cabo trip, splitting the room between those who saw a chance to rekindle things and those who saw a bribe.
The enchanted flute boy
Mikey confessed that at six he repeatedly stopped his bicycle outside a teenage girl's window and pretended her flute playing had enchanted him in hopes that she would notice his performance.
The Indecent Proposal price
Inspired by Indecent Proposal, the group argued whether spouses should even discuss accepting millions for one night with someone else, with Mikey saying that consideration alone would feel like betrayal.
Semi-pro by sponsorship
Woodsy called his Tipsy Crows team semi-professional because a bar paid its league fees, while everyone else dismantled that claim by pointing to the 12-person crowd and mismatched uniforms.
Bin Laden and Sister Wives
A report that Osama Bin Laden's young Yemeni wife chose to remain with him led the crew into a discussion of his five wives and the jealousy, rotation, and family structure shown on Sister Wives.
Kings of Leon frontman disease
Mikey and Woodsy praised Kings of Leon's music but argued that Caleb Falwell displayed 'lead singer's disease' while his visibly bored relatives endured his self-important Storytellers anecdotes.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienSiennaJayJessicaDoc EllisJorge PosadaDan AdlerJesse JamesSandra BullockKat Von DOsama Bin LadenCaleb Falwell
38,514 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Was a success. Let me tell you something. Couldn't have been better. I just absolutely loved, loved the support from M1s on Saturday morning, 10 to 1. We did OSI and that thing, Operation Street Impact was just that. We definitely made an impact on the streets with the Mikey Show sticker. And we got a winner for the Harley Davidson motorcycle. Crazy story with that winner that I haven't even told you guys about, everybody. I've told a couple of people, but just amazing story with that dude that won. The surround sound was given away. Just an incredible, incredible time with OSI.
on saturday and just way beyond exceeded my expectations and i had big expectations going into that thing i mean it was incredible uh welcome to the mikey show call us if you were at osi you had a good time uh 570-1949 is our number uh if you want to call us and uh say hi if you were there if you enjoyed love to hear you thank you san diego harley davidson thank you tried and true home theater and security uh thank you choose fitness Pretzel crisps, Dave & Buster's, Sushi Poppers, Nutri Shop, Rockstar Energy Drinks. Did a great job coming out and helping us out. And it was an incredible day, man. Incredible day and just so great to see those stickers on cars. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40, not for long. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's rocking Jay's Knitcap. It now belongs to Woods. Yep, Woods' Knitcap. Woods' Knitcap. Woodsy is 35 years of age, and he is our sports guy. And everybody's telling him out at OSI, it looks like he's dropped some LBs. I've been telling him. He doesn't listen. I'm not buying it. He's not buying it, and it's the truth. The guy's dropping LBs. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as LOB, is the blonde girl to my right, who, in fact, was the person who had the winning...
bag that contained the winning Harley Davidson. She was the one. And it was great, man. It was so cool. I mean, it was really, I cannot tell you anything other than this. It was like an electric moment. And it really was. It really was, man. People got chills. People were shaking. L.O.B. just let out the scream. I did. It was awesome. I scared some people. I scared the winner. It was so rad, though, L.O.B. I got so excited. It was so great. I loved it. I saw the letters FX, and then I just, and then I had to double check to make sure. It was so great. It was so cool. So, Sienna, she's our news girl, and she is 26 years old. And, Sienna. I mean, everybody just worked so hard out at OSI, man. Just like every time I looked over at you guys, you were working and just like handing those things out. And it was awesome. Jay. It was a blast. It was fun, man. Yeah, it was. Jay's our producer. He's 47 years of age. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Crouch. And Chris was out there helping out as well. Busting his butt. That's right. Whole station came together.
M1 T-Rex is on the line. What's up, dude? We got some T-Rex. What's up? Hey, guys. How you doing? We're doing good, man. Awesome. Awesome turnout this weekend. It was awesome. Oh, yeah, dude. I couldn't believe it. Yeah. Hey, I was right behind. I know. I know it. I know it. I know it, dude. On his bike. He was on his bicycle. And M1T Rex was right behind the winning person. How about that? He was next in line. Oh, no. It was gnarly. So close. I looked towards my buddy. I was like, oh, man, we were just there. We missed it. Just there. Hey, listen, you know, there were some people that were like, oh, I was bummed. I wanted to win that thing so bad. I said, don't be bummed. The people that should be bummed are the people that were right in front or right behind the winner. And that was M1 T-Rex. M1 truck driver was attached to the car that T-Rex was holding on to. Yeah. And he was so gracious. He was like, oh, well, you know, almost a winner. There you go. Good to see you, T-Rex. I love you guys. I love you, man.
M1 Oscar from San Diego. What's up? Hey, guys. How's it doing? Good, man. What's going on? Nothing much. I wanted to thank you guys for OSI. I had a blast yesterday. Well, I should be the day before. You had a good time, man. Oh, yeah, I did. The only thing I didn't like is the answers, man. I went off track a couple of times a day. I almost puked. Hey, listen. I'll tell you the reason that we did the... And the reason that we had people weaving in and out is because Adam, our promotion director, has experience with this. When you don't do that, when you don't put those cones up, inevitably what will happen is you back up the 15. You get in trouble. So you have to have some way to control the crowd. And that's the only way to do it. Because I'm telling you, man, had we not put up those cones, it would have been. Mayhem. It would have been absolutely out of control. And people, let me tell you something. You'd have been a lot more angry had the cones not been there. Oh, yeah. Trust me. Sitting there for hours. Oh, yeah. I mean, just sitting there for hours and people getting mad and people getting honking at you. And that's what happened the very first time we did it. So that's spread out. It keeps me spread out. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude.
Well, I'm glad you had a good time, Oscar. And it was a fun day, dude. It was a fun day. I kept telling people in the cars that Jay did it on purpose to mess with him. You did. I did. I kept telling them. I was like, you know it was Jay. Like, I'm going to get these people. Watch this. It was so great. It was so great. Just seeing all the people coming out with their families. It was incredible. You know, it was a good time. And hanging out. Hanging out. M1 Nubian Prince is on the line. What's going on, Nubian Prince? Hey, yo, I need to say this real quick. Jay, you are one bad brother, dude. For what you did with that chalk, bro, that was freaking off the chain. What? What he did with what? I threw the chalk lines down. Oh, the chalk? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did all the lines out there with that, Adam. Good Lord. Oh, man. And he laid the chalk down. That's how we did it. Oh, my. Wow. I didn't see Nubian Prince. I didn't either. I did. I did. I saw him. Yeah, I kept trying to get your attention. What? That's right. People kept coming through my line going, oh, I wanted L.O.B. I was like, sorry. Sorry, man. Hey, I was stoked to be in Jay. You know, I saw everybody, but you guys do such a great job in being so personable and just, it's an awesome group for the morning, you know, and you guys are real with us and we love you guys. We love you, man. We love you so much. Love you. Oh, Mikey, Mikey, hey, the sermon was off.
chain, dude. Right on. Yeah, he had a sermon that night. First sermon ever. Right on, dude. I'm glad it went good. Thank you guys. I love you guys. Alright, man. We love you. M1 Call Beats from San Diego. Are you there? Yes, I am. How you doing, Mikey? I'm good, dude. You won something out at OSI? Yeah, I won the mountain bike. Nice, dude. Right on, dude. That's awesome. You won both bikes, right? I do. You won the his and the her. Those have been ridden by me. by the way. Yeah, so they're worth more. Worth less, actually, now. Oh, my. The tires were depleted. Yes. Oh, wow. Ouch. Thank you. It's so early. He does. What's he looks like? Johnny Knoxville. And he also... Maybe you hang up on this guy. No, dude. Come on. Woodsy looks great. Does he? You do. You do. Thank you for the call, Call Beats. We appreciate it. And congratulations. Thank you. Congratulations. Hey, this is good news from M1 Super Mario. He's on the 15 South right now. Calling to report what? Yeah, on my morning commute, I'm seeing all kinds of M1s with their stickers. Nice, dude. Love it. Yes.
Hey, M1's a wild, man. All the cars with the stickers are all hawking at each other. That's nice, dude. That is nice. It's a community M1 Nation, man. It is getting bigger, and it is growing daily, and I love it. And I'm not ashamed to say that I'm glad that we're stealing listeners from everybody in town. Yep. I love that, too. So, hey, thank you, bro. We love you, and we thank you, man. You belong. We had a great time. Thanks a lot. Thank you, bro. Let's see. So we got a bunch of stuff to tell you. OSI was great. The word of the day is belt. When you hear me say the word belt between now and 10, Caller 9 gets four packet tickets to SeaWorld and also a Street Fighter 4 3D video game. For what system, Jay? Nintendo. That's right. Did he say it right? I don't know. He did. He's saying it sort of. Quietly? Yes. What was it again? Not telling you. Oh, wow. For the not telling you. By the way, on Friday we talked to a girl who said that she had come to the conclusion...
that it was over between her boyfriend and her. She was looking for the proper way to dismantle the relationship. How do you break up? And Woods suggested the fadeaway. We all had, which I think is just diabolical. Just disappear on her. Sure, and we all had our different opinions on how to do that. But we are going to check in with Jessica this morning and find out which one of our advice she took. You know, Sienna and I kind of agreed it's not necessary to be in person because the person, you don't need to like look into their dead lights. Unless you're a sadist. As you put their lights out. Yeah, if you're a sadist, you just want to see the pain in their face. You want to respect them. It's respect. Well, I guess we see that one differently. I think it's torturous. I think it's torturous to have to sit there and watch the tears well up in your eyes. Makes you stronger. Does it? Courtesy. What do you want, the tears to come out of my eyes? Padres. Yes.
Are they on a winning streak? They are. A two-game winning streak. Four more, right? Four more, and I shave my head into a fryer's cut, which I'm not sure that my wife has heard me talk about because she has not mentioned it yet. When I come home with a fryer's haircut, she's going to flip out. Oh, yeah. Listen, I love the Padres, but it's the ugliest freaking haircut a guy could have. It's number one. Yes. It's number one. There's nothing worse. There is not. Well, they've won two straight, so I'm getting a little nervous. They've got to win four more. They've got to win four more. In a row. In a row. It's got to be six in a row. Now, they took two or three from Colorado at Colorado, and the capper was yesterday, man. They were down seven to one, came back and won. Brad Hopp hit a bomb to put them over the edge, man. They went out and did the job. And Brad Hopp is hitting a lot better, settling into his groove. And, yeah, he started the season around 098, and now he's batting 365 in his last 52 at bat. So he's hitting the ball. He's hitting it with authority, hitting it with power. And he did it off Houston Street, who was 10 for 10 in save opportunities against the Padres. So, man, they look good. They look good right now. And, you know, it's a...
It's a marathon. It's not a sprint. That's fantastic, man. So they're now 17-23, and they will take on the Diamondbacks tonight at 6.40 p.m. for a two-game series. All right. We'll see them come back. I know we will. Yeah. It's early. They'll get hot, and they're getting hot now. What happened, because I genuinely do not know, but know that it was a huge deal. What happened in the Yanks? Red Sox. I have no idea. I don't even know they played this weekend. So they did not go well for the Yankees. Woods is a Yankee fan. They didn't even play, dude. And apparently it did not go well. Did you know that Sarah Silverman was in the broadcast booth with Joe Buck and made the following comments on TV? Do you keep up with this stuff day to day? Or is this more of like an occasional thing in the world of Sarah Silverman? I'm going to be honest, it's an occasional thing. I can keep track and I can talk pretty good, you know, and I know a couple facts I can run with it. Yeah, for instance, run with some facts. Oh, no, I got nothing for tonight. Russell Martin, that's strike one. I think steroids are wrong, but what about LSD for pitchers? That works so well for Doc Ellis. Doc Ellis, that's...
That's a well-known story. And I think that should be okay. No, we do not condone that whatsoever. No, not as a developing brain or anything. But if you're a Major League pitcher, as a treat. No. Oh, okay. No. As a treat. We're going to the next topic. So, do you know this story? No, I don't know about Doc Ellis. He's a pitcher for the Pirates. And he comes to the ballpark. He wasn't scheduled to pitch. And it's in the 70s. And he goes, I'm not throwing a day. Bloop. Pops a tab of LSD. He's just going to chill in the bullpen, trip out. They came to him. They go, hey, so-and-so's hurt. You're going. Guy goes out on LSD, throws a no-hitter. Bam. Oh, wow. That just happened. Well, how does everyone know that he did LSD? Because he told everybody. He told them. He told everyone? Yeah, he's like, yeah, I was on LSD when I threw that down there. Oh, wow. 70s in Pittsburgh. Those guys were wild men. Wild men. And he was the wildest of the bunch. Dropped acid, went out. Not only did he pitch a game, he threw no hitter. Oh, wow. Where was the series this weekend? It was in New York. What happened? They got swept. Oh, they got swept. The Yankees got swept. And it was a drama. There was all kinds of drama that was going on. Our longtime catcher and now designated hitter asked out of the lineup, needed a day off. An hour before the game, it became this huge story.
Huge. He asked to be taken out of the lineup? He was on the lineup. He was batting ninth, and he didn't want to bat ninth. And he went to the boss and said, I'm out. I don't want to play. Is that Jorge Posada? It is. He said, I don't want to bat ninth. He said, my back hurts, and I just need a day to clear my head. But the real story is he didn't want to bat ninth. And the real story is he was having a really bad day, and he's not adjusting to the DH role. And he's like, I'm not batting ninth on national TV is what he's thinking. And he takes himself out of the lineup against the biggest rivalry in sports. And, dude, I was furious. Furious. I almost didn't watch the game last night. But then I did and was disappointed again. That's not a very good thing to do. It's not. Especially when you make $13 million a year and you're batting 165 and you can no longer catch anymore because you're... You're a detriment to your team when you're behind the plate. It was a bad weekend for me, and I don't want to talk about it anymore. I had no idea. I got enough crap on Facebook. I'm sure. I did not see. And I want you to know, I had no idea. I had no idea. And I know that, see, I've talked to Woodsy about, hey, be careful with your sports, not to interject too much of your personal thoughts into it. It'd be as if somebody moved here from Tampa to become a sports person.
and really wanted to get stories in about the double raise. It wouldn't be appropriate. And so Woods has been really good about it. But this weekend was a big weekend because that's one of the biggest rivalries in sports is the Red Sox and the Yanks. And I had no idea what happened. Well, I didn't want to talk about it. I'm very upset. I'm furious. I punched stuff. I threw stuff. I cursed. I lost my mind. It was absolutely the worst thing that could have happened to me this weekend was that. Did you watch all three games? Yeah, in their entirety. I didn't miss one pitch of three games. And just ups. Does your wife watch with you? Yep, every game. She watches with you. Every inning, every game. Now, when you guys do that, is she quiet or does she interject? And does she go, what is going on? You know, she gets mad at me when I flip because our windows are open. No, but I mean, when she's watching. Oh, she knows her stuff, yeah. Is she interjecting as well? Absolutely, absolutely. So you guys are both sort of. Yeah, we're into it together. Do you communicate with one another or are you in your own worlds of, what are you doing? No, we communicate to each other. So you go and so you would say, what the heck is it? And she would go, I know. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I want to get a visual of what this is like. She's a saint. She is a saint. She is a saint. And she's into it with you.
She is. She loves the Yankees, too, and she's got her players that she likes, the ones she thinks are cute, and she watches those guys. Give me the babiest move that you threw this weekend and one that you are sort of embarrassed of. The babiest move I made was after the game at one point. Which one? They had lost. It was Saturday's game. Okay. I might have stubbed my toe. and then got mad at Jamie because she asked me to do something on her side of the bed, and as I was walking over there, I stubbed my toe and just lit it up. During the game? Yeah, just lit the room up. After the game? Yeah, it was after they lost. It was right after they lost. But during the game, I did the hat off, throw into the wall with an MF, and it'll get you. Oh, wow. And then you go, do you immediately go pick the hat up and put it back on? Immediately go pick it up and put it back on. Immediately. It looks like this. And then puts it right back on. Right back on. Because I thought maybe there would be like, it would be a hat throw. And you know what? You know what hat? You can stay there. Stay there.
You can stay there because I don't even want you on my head right now. And then maybe like an hour later it goes back. No, right back on. Throw, pick up, put on. About a month ago I was in the studio. Woods was waiting for something and he decided he was going to start watching the Yankees game on his laptop. And I thought Woods was just kind of a loud person like just talking. He took loud to a whole new level when he started yelling. Oh, man. I had to double check that there wasn't a megaphone attached to his mouth. Very passionate about my teen. Think his neighbors hate him already? Oh, I'm sure. They can hear you? All of our windows are open. We don't have AC, so our windows are open all the time. What? Poor neighbors. All these cuss words fly out the window. Oh, no, and that series will get you with the cuss words, man. Sienna's husband's the exact same way. Oh, exactly the same way. Exactly. About the Lakers, Dodgers? Everything's open. When we're home, everything's open and we have kids that live next to us and they hear the worst words. Sienna, has a parent ever come over and said, hey, can you give me a break? No, they're probably terrified of Todd. What did he say? Hooshmanzada, slap your mama or something. Spray your mama. Hooshmanzada, spray your mama. Amazing. All I know is I would not go directly over.
During it, because you know you're dealing with a lunatic, a maniac, a madman, someone on the loose. You're dealing with a predator. You have to send the police. You can't go to yourself. What I would do is I would wait until the next time I saw them. And I would be nice and make small talk. And I'd go, oh, hey, by the way, next time you're watching the game. Help me out a little bit with the little ears. I mean, hey, what you do in your own home is your business. That's right. Maybe keep it there. Absolutely, bro. It was in my home. I wasn't out in your yard. It was in your home. I'm just telling you. You got some kind of bullhorn built into your voice box. Fair enough. That's all I'm saying. These will get you, too. Ready? I do the hard clap. Yeah. That's the extent of it. The hard clap. This is loud. Get you, dude. The paddle. Now, this. This story this morning is a breaking news story, which is just unbelievable. There's something called an IMF chief. Didn't even know what it was. What is an IMF chief? It's the International Monetary Fund. This story is about the head of the International Monetary Fund. This guy's French. Yeah, happened on Saturday. And this guy sexually assaulted an American woman that was working for the hotel that he was staying in. A maid, yeah. A maid.
Thought he was going to get away with it until they stopped this clown on the airplane before it was going to take off for France. Wow. And we'll give you all the details next. That was our chance. Let's do it. More from The Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam, Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage, Cold War Kids. I can't cost a tube. It's on time. Peter Buren and John. I wanna see you in the mouth. The Silent Comedy.
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This report, it's brought to you by Allstate Full Service Insurance at self-service prices. Your local Allstate agent makes it easy to get the protection you need and save money too. Are you in good hands? On the 163 northbound Friars Road, we do have an accident here. It's a car that overturned on the Friars Road on-ramp to the 163. They're waiting on a tow truck heading towards Alpine, the 8 westbound after Tavern Road. There's a truck that's got a lot of smoke coming from the brakes. It's over on the right shoulder. It's not on fire, but it could be a visual hazard. This report brought to you by San Diego County Toyota Dealers, Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships. They've got a $24.95 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Oh boy. Like a knife. Woods. Every day now I'm questioning why I have five dogs. I spent my afternoon cleaning up trash. I'm not a farter, but I live with farters. It definitely makes me laugh. What is the coolest thing I've ever made? We don't have that kind of time. On FM 94.9. Because if I were to tell you the coolest thing I ever made, it would take so much time. We don't have it. You ever see the Sphinx? I built it.
That's right. I built it. Brick by brick. Brick by brick. Built the bricks. Then I built the Sphinx. Designed it. Built bricks. Built Sphinx. Yeah. Drip sand. The plans. Yeah. And then we built it. Well, we. I mean, I. I built it. Kim help. Yeah, Kim help. Jasper help. We're going to tell you about this French creep that sexually assaulted a maid in New York City. Also want to tell you about our friend Jared at createyourdesignonline.com who does the most amazing work when it comes to graphic design. He did my business cards, does mikeyshow.com, did that brand new Mikey Show sticker you see around town. He's working on something for me right now. It's going to be really cool. The guy's amazing. Word of the day's belt. So we haven't said it yet. I'll weave that into a sentence. Somehow I'll say the word belt. You have to really pay attention to it, though. You got to really be paying attention. It could come during commercials. It could happen at any time. And so you have to be you have to have a very finely tuned ear because I'm crafty. Oh, he's very. Let's see. Oh, and then we're going to talk to that girl, Jessica, at eight o'clock that was going to be breaking up with her boyfriend. And we're going to find out.
Whose advice did she take? I said it's fine to do by email. In fact, I said it's more humane. It's easier, for sure, if you're lazy. I thought you were with me, Sienna. I wasn't with you on the email. I'm with you on the call is okay because you can have conversation. I think the most humane thing to do is anything but in person. Fade away. I think that in person is callous and cold because it... It makes the person have to be emotional in front of you. It's natural. It's not callous. Well, L.O.B. thinks it's respectful. So does Jay. Absolutely. It's easier for you to do it over the phone, for sure. It's like, hey, I don't have to really interact with you, so I'm just done with you. Yeah, because I'm done with you anyway. Well, as the breakup E, not the breakup her, as the breakup E, the person getting broken up with, I want that as well because I don't want to have to get emotional in front of you. That makes me uncomfortable. And Woods is the most monstrous of them all. Yes. He says, listen, you've been dating for a year. Just stop calling. Stop calling. Stop returning calls. Stop returning emails. Delete from Facebook and you're done. You're free. Oh, my. Yeah. Make her sit there and think about what she did. Well, we're going to find out at eight o'clock what Jessica did. Whose advice did she take? All right. So tell me the story, Sienna. Who is the I? What is the IMF?
Chief. Okay, it is the head of the International Monetary Fund. Now, this guy was in New York. And he was there on Saturday and around 1 p.m. got into a lot of trouble. Now he's in his hotel room. He's staying in a $3,000 a night hotel room. Oh, wow. The maid comes in at 1 p.m. and she thinks that the suite is empty. No one's in there. Checkout time's noon. Yeah. He didn't get a late checkout. Didn't get a late checkout. He's supposed to be gone. Right. Little did she know, he's in the room and not only is he there, he's there butt naked. Oh. He was in the bathroom. He comes out, startles her. She runs out of the room like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. He goes chasing after her down the hallway, pulls her into the bedroom where he sexually assaulted her. Now the maid is saying that she fought him off, but then he dragged her into the bathroom where he sodomized her and tried to remove her underwear. She was able to break free again and escaped, ran down, told the hotel staff what had happened. Immediately the police...
come, but before the police got there, he left, packed up, got out, headed straight to JFK, to the airport, to get on a plane to Paris immediately. The plane was stopped. He was on the plane, stopped. He was taken off and arrested to where he is in custody right now. Good. Yeah. Absolutely good. I know. What a creep. Yeah, he's being charged with attempted rape and unlawful imprisonment. Oh my gosh. I know. Well, I hope that comes with a very, you know, long Prison sentence. I don't know what it entails, but whatever it is, that's terrible. There's got to be surveillance of him chasing her down the hallway, right? Of course, right? In a hotel. In a hotel like that. To stop the plane, there had to be some sort of damning evidence. Now, this guy is a big guy in France. He is a member of France's Socialist Party, and they're saying he was widely considered the strongest potential challenger next year to President Nicolas Sarkozy. Really? Sarkozy. Not anymore. I know. Nice work. I mean, he's a big, well-known guy. Speaking of presidential nominees, my guy Mike Huckabee said over the weekend that he is not going to run. Why? He said that all the signs were pointing to yes, that he hadn't said anything, but the constituents were saying you should run. His family gave him the green light, his wife. He said in light of the fact that he knows that if he does run for president.
You know, his family gets attacked. That's what happens. That's the deal. And he said, but his family came to him and said, if you want to do this, we're behind you. Everybody was behind him in doing this. And he said, which was really crazy. He said this on his show, the Huckabee show. He goes, it was kind of a crazy comment. He said, some of you may not understand this. He said, but it doesn't come down to. It doesn't come down to. What what people are telling me, he said, for me, it comes down to Jesus Christ and my relationship with him. And I took some time by myself alone. Everything was pointing towards a go. But my heart said no. And so I'm not going to do it. And I guess I'll see you back here on Monday. Now, I was a Huck fan last time. OK, because he was running for president.
In 08. And I didn't know anything about Mike Huckabee. I didn't know anything about anybody. So I went online and I just started reading about all the different candidates. And I said, well, you know, who do I like here? Because I knew kind of John McCain. Problem with John McCain is he's not the most well-spoken guy in the world. And he's, first of all, he's 174. Sounds like an older Busey. He does. Sounds like an older Gary Busey. He's younger than Jay. Yes, he is younger than Jay. Which is... Who isn't? Which is... Who isn't? And I kind of liked where he was, but there was a couple things where I was like, eh. And everything about Huck fell into place. Now, it's easy to point and go, oh, well, it must have been his faith. It wasn't it. I mean, sure, it was a big part of it, but I'm telling you the truth. I like this guy Huckabee. I thought socially he got it. And I thought that economically he got it. And I liked him. But he says he's not running. It'd be tough to have a president with the last name of Huckabee. It's true. I mean, seriously. It's true. Just call it what it is. His big campaign was, you know that movie I Heart Huckabees? Yeah. That was his deal. He stole that and it was just I Heart Huckabee. And he went with the whole logo, the whole deal. But I want you to relax.
Because you are a right-wing conservative. Yes. Sleep well at night knowing that your guy, Newt Gingrich, is now the man. It could be the man. Just relax. Your man is out, Huckabee. But, dude, you got Newt Gingrich. You're fine. With a name like Newt. I mean, it's got to be a winner. Newt. Yes. Newt. So, Newt. Sleep easy at night, pal. Great. Stabbing at Horton Plaza. Yeah, right over there. This happened on Saturday around 2 in the afternoon. A 57-year-old woman was left fighting for her life after an 83-year-old, her husband, shot her in the head at Point Blank Range on the corner of 5th Avenue and Broadway. What? Yes. I don't know exactly what happened. They got into some sort of an altercation. The husband and wife, 57-year-old woman, 83-year-old husband. Whoa. And witnesses say that... He just held up the gun, shot her point blank in the head. Wow. Now, as of Sunday, her condition is not yet released, but they haven't said that she died. So she wasn't stabbed. She was shot. Right. But then there was a stabbing at Horton Plaza seven hours later. So there was a shooting, then a stabbing. Completely unrelated. Completely unrelated. Yeah. What happened at Horton Plaza was a suspect.
approached the victim and stabbed him in the right thigh at about 9 p.m. on Saturday. They don't know why. They don't know what this stranger did to him. They don't know anything. All they know is describing what the stabbing, the stabby, the man that stabbed his description. He's a white man, six feet tall, about 250 pounds with a mohawk style haircut. He was wearing a white bandana and they don't know what's going on, but there was, I mean, only a few blocks apart. Yeah. OSI, if you're just tuning in, was great. What a weekend. Saturday was just incredible. A lot of Mikey Show stickers on cars now, which was great. So I thought this was kind of interesting. Woodsy went out with his wife to get groceries over the weekend? No, I told her that I would go get groceries so I didn't have to clean. Oh, okay. I'd do anything I can to get out of cleaning. So if that means going to the grocery store, whatever, I'm in. So he went by himself. I went by myself, yeah. Went by yourself. Put on his new Mikey Show hoodie. And it's got these little built-in earbuds. So he put on his iPod. He's walking around. And he was a little skeeved out wearing it because he's on the Mikey Show. And it says the Mikey Show on it.
And he told his wife, you know, Jeter doesn't wear pinstripes to Albertsons. Easy big time. To which Jamie said, and I quote, easy big time. No one will recognize you. As he was leaving the store, a guy walked by him, gave him the hang loose sign and said, Woodsy. True story. Please call in if you're listening. You saw me walking out of Statler Brothers yesterday, and he goes, Woodsy! And I go, how you doing, man? And I had the freaking Mikey Show jacket on. I wouldn't have recognized you if not for that Mikey Show hoodie that you have on. Idiot. Hey, how come it doesn't say employee? Staff. Staff. Sienna, where are you with this? Is that fashionably wrong? I just want to make fun of Woods for just even writing that. Why? And talking about it all morning. God, I'm so mortified. What's the big deal? I've said it to Mike. I was making fun of Mike for wanting to put a Mikey Show sticker on his car. And I'm like, you can't, dude. You're Mikey. You're proud of the station. You're proud of the show. Well, it's true. I am very proud. But, dude, you don't see Phillip Rivers walking around with his Phillip Rivers jersey on. That's true.
Or a Chargers hat. You don't. It doesn't say Woods on the back of your jacket. And by the way, I don't think that it would be bad for Phillip Rivers to have a San Diego Chargers sticker on his car. But I do think it would be weird if he walked into the grocery store with his number 17 jersey on. I do think that would be strange. And this thing says... The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show. Little bitty. Hi, guys. I'm Woods. I'm trying to tell everybody that I'm on the Mikey Show. You're a clown. If it said Woods underneath it, yes. I still feel like a clown. Or a Woods face on the front. Yes. I still feel like a clown. Why? Because I feel like an idiot. Like, really? Well, look, you're wearing it again today, so you must not feel like that big of an idiot. It was cold this morning. I'll wear it. No problem. No shame. Hey, by the way, I got completely from my cohorts here on the Mikey Show. I got completely lambasted because yesterday our church, yesterday our church did this thing. Well, over the weekend, our church did this thing called weekend of service. So there is no church that one day a year, you know, one weekend a year. And what we do is we go out in the community and we like help do things. Yesterday we were at a, you know, my wife and I were at a home for adult people with autism.
and we were refurbishing their kitchen. And so we were painting and doing stuff like that. And out in front of this place is like a landscaping job that needed to be done. And so there were people out there from the church working on the landscape and all that. So this lady, it's raining, and this lady is walking down this little bitty hill, and she slips and busts her ankle up. And I mean, it's one of these busts. That's like leg and then way over here is foot. The right angle. Most amazing, you know, thing I'd ever seen. It's a safety hazard. And so I went around, you know, the paramedics are there. They're, you know, helping her. And I took the opportunity to take out my iPhone and use the camera on my iPhone. to take a picture of this ankle. Did you ask her first? Well, no, she was busy. Do you know her? No, I don't know her. Wow. I don't know her. And so I wanted to remember this and sort of save the moment. I mean, what an opportunity. Her moment. Yeah, I didn't want to steal thunder, if that's what you mean. You work for a medical journal? No. So you were just going to take Joy from her pain? No, I wanted to document.
You're going to find out who she is and email it to her. Well, no. I wanted to document it for prosperity. For your own personal files? So you can show us. Well, you know, I wanted to be able to show people, hey, look at this. This is a very drastic break. But it turned out it was just a dislocation. But everybody here, you know, on the Mikey Show, my cohorts were like, what is the matter with you? You can't just walk up to someone that's hurt and be like, oh, wow, ooh, that's bad. Click, click, click, click. If they don't know. Ooh, ouch. Yeah. Well, I'll give you the best defense I have. This is the only defense I have. If this doesn't work, I'm up the creek without a paddle. Oh, boy. This is all I can say to my defense was that this woman was joking around and was in entirely... good spirits it's called being in shock is what it's called now that's what everybody said later they were like i said this lady was i've never seen anybody have such a high tolerance for pain she didn't even like there was no pain she's cracking jokes she was cracking jokes yeah you know she's speaking in tongues tongue she was probably just putting on a brave face because she was embarrassed she was not she was like joking around in shock this is in shock now i've learned since that she was in shock you know
Now, there was also a palm branch, and she couldn't see me. You are like paparazzi in a bad way. Yeah, you're paparazzi. That is way worse than just being in her face. Yeah. Well, otherwise... Hey, that's Mike. Kid just fell off his bike. Look, there's Mikey over in the bushes. Well, he had his Tommy Bahama shirt on with the leaves on it, so it was just kind of like blending in. I don't know where Tommy is. Yes, you do. One last thing to maybe... Get me out of this. I wasn't the only one. Oh, really? No. What is wrong with people? That is so mean. You are a bunch of creeps. Maybe you ask if she wants a glass of water or something. Yeah. Give her a blanket. Ask her if she wants a glass of water while the paramedics are tending to her. Yes. Exactly why you should be away. Do you want a glass of water? Take a picture while the paramedics are tending to her. Did you follow the ambulance to the hospital? Maybe it's the difference between guys and girls. Because as a guy, I'd be like, yeah, check it out. Take a picture.
Hey, can you send that to me? Take a picture, it'll last longer. Yeah, I'd be like, can you send that to me? I wouldn't want somebody celebrating my pain and misery. Especially some guy I didn't know. Celebrating would be, you know, breaking out some sort of an air horn and being like, hey. Hey, everybody. She busts her ankle. Let's celebrate. If that were me and if I were at all coherent, I would have been like, what's the matter with you, buddy? Would you mind? Hey, do you mind, pal? Well, if that had happened, I would have been mortified. You would have dug a hole and crawled into it. Oh, I would have shot daggers over at you. She probably would have said that if you weren't hiding behind a palm frond. Well, I think all you guys... Listen, I think all you guys are right because I also texted the picture to a friend of mine, to CB, and he was like, she said that was okay. Well, this is the way I read his text. You know how you have to read text? Yes. Like, it could have been, she said that was okay, but the way that I took it was, She said that was okay? That was the way you should have taken it. Yes. I guess. And knowing CB, that's exactly how he meant it. That's exactly how he meant it. And I was like, well, yeah, she was joking. She's in shock. The human body is strong. You shouldn't be really taking pictures of anyone without their permission, but especially when their misfortune is the reason that you're taking the picture. What if he worked for the school paper? But he doesn't. He works for the Lincoln Financial.
She wasn't in the jaws of a great white, you guys. You would have been all over it, pal. Truth be not, I had taken a picture. You were taking a video of that. I considered a video of this. It was really crazy. You're part of the problem, not part of the solution. I am? I guess I am. You should go work for Extra or Perez Hilton or one of those salacious gossip. It wasn't gossip. Incredible. It's a private moment between her and the paramedic. She wasn't making love to her husband. Her and the paramedic. It wasn't her wedding night. Easy TMZ. He's still into it. Easy TMZ. Seriously. Easy Perez. Yes. You're Perez Hilton. She wasn't kissing Tommy Lee. You're Perez Hilton. Hey, it's your theme song, Private Eye. What's up? Oh, my gosh. I'm a monster, I guess. Theme song. This is Mikey's new theme song. My theme song. Mikey's eyes. Hey, you think you've heard it all? Because you haven't. If you think you've heard it all, you haven't. I've heard it all. You haven't heard it all, Woods. You haven't heard it all until you've heard the new commercial from this guy, Dan Adler, who is running for Senate. When you hear Dan Adler's new television campaign,
where he's trying to reach out to the Asian community, then you've heard everything. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We'll play it next. Hey, guys, this is L.O.B. from The Mikey Show, and every week you hear me go on and on about how great Ovation Cell Therapy has been for my hair. Well, here's something that Ovation is doing, and I think that they're amazing for doing this. Ovation is helping support the City of Hopes. Walk for Hope. This is happening Saturday, May 21st, and Ovation is proud to be a San Diego partner with City of Hope's Walk for Hope, which is being presented nationally by Staples. Come on out and join the thousands, that's right, thousands nationwide who are committed to ending women's cancers. This is a cause that is really near and dear to my heart, and I'm so happy to see Ovation a part of it. Learn how Ovation Cell Therapy can work for you. Log on to OvationHair.com or go out and visit the Ovation booth. They're going to be out there.
The Walk for Hope. They can answer any questions you have and really just help to inspire you. Go to OvationHair.com and remember to enter FM949 for your special introductory rate because Ovation can work for you. Again, that's OvationHair.com and enter FM949 for that special rate. AIS, ladies and gentlemen, AIS is the greatest. They are making some great savings for you right now. 800-777-4AIS. Truth of the matter is, I don't even know what the term making great savings means. But I said it. They're saving you money. That's what I meant to tell you. They're saving you money. So call them. 1-800-777-4AIS. Or go online. You can also do it online. It's really fast if you do it online. 800... Oh, excuse me. Let me just give you a phone number when I mention a web address. AISinsurance.com. That's a web address. AISinsurance.com. It's Monday. My brain is taking a while. Or you can call them. 800-777-4AIS. M1s, if you do this and you love it and you get some real cool savings out of it,
Call us here at FM 94.9 and tell us your story. We love you. It's AIS. Dude, what happened last night? I can't find my super big gulp cup. What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup. All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven, but what happened after that? Hey, I think we got kidnapped by a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah, and they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Amigos. No way. He's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right, and he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait, didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah, I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub. Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today, only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie, The Hangover Part 2, in theaters May 26th. At Vons, we believe the standards you live by should be the ones you eat by. Honesty, integrity, and real. That's why we developed Open Nature, a new line of great tasting food that's 100% natural, and only at Vons.
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make a plan for you. They're located in East Lake or in Mission Valley. Get in there and start getting results today. Tell them Woodsy sent you. This report, it's brought to you by the San Diego Convention and Visitors Bureau. Embrace the Wild West during the annual Ramona Rodeo, May 21st through the 22nd. For more East County adventures, visit sandiego.org slash eastcounty. On the 163 northbound, Friars Road an accident there earlier. It's a solo vehicle back on its wheels. It is in the final clearing stages. Looks like the 56 eastbound between the 5 in Carmel Valley Road, some delays. And on the 5 southbound, the 20 Pacific Highway and Coronado Bridge Speed in 40s. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners. San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't have a best friend. I don't trust people. I have trust issues. Lauren. Am I what? Like feminine and girly. Eh, not really. I guess I can when I want to be. Woods. Nobody is more passionate about donuts than me. Zienna. I'm a ring person. I love gems. And Jay. If you need that person, I'm there to do it for you. On FM 94.9. Start working out today. You're not going to cancel today? I am not going to cancel. Okay. Are you sure? Not today. How dare you? You know what? So I'm going to play you this Dan Adler campaign here in just a second. I shouldn't have stopped the music because...
We usually play that while I ask Sienna what's going on in the news. Oh my gosh, this crazy story, you guys. A British woman was in Spain at the Canary Islands shopping in a grocery store. This is so creepy. She is a grandmother shopping in a grocery store in the Canary Islands when a man attacks her. And cuts off her head. What? And runs away with it. Now, this guy comes into the shopping center and stole a knife from the supermarket before attacking this stranger, this grandmother, doing nothing wrong. My goodness. That is so awful and creepy. Beheads her, cuts off her head, runs away holding the head, and is later caught by security guards who subdued him before the police arrived. Now, we don't know why this happened. We don't know what is wrong with this man. Something is clearly wrong with this man, but we'll be finding out more details later as they unfold. But, oh, my gosh, such a sad story. Also, this morning, the space shuttle Endeavor finally launched. And, yes, Representative Gabrielle Giffords was there to...
Watch her husband, Mark Kelly, who is in command of the space shuttle. She was there, and she was in good spirits and doing well. Did she say that, or did somebody make that assumption? Well, she got, you know, doctor's permission to go back a second time. Woods is just getting the thumb up on Gabrielle Gifford. Yeah. L.O.B. is playing Gabrielle Gifford. This thing will not say both. She can control her thumb. There it is. She can control her thumb, and she's doing great, and she's this. It had been months since the shooting. She's fine and she's able to be there. It's like getting over a cold. You know what? Shake it off. Shake it off. You guys. She's doing wonderfully. Like a Tylenol. She is. Yeah.
I think it's great. Last flight of the endeavor. She's fine. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, the Eastern Conference Finals in the NBA kicked off last night, and Derrick Rose for the Chicago Bulls scored 28 points. It's the Bulls against the Heat, and everybody's saying, hey, man, the Heat beat the Celtics. They can take down the Bulls. The Bulls are a tough team. So the Bulls came out, won last night 103-82. Gave them a dirt nap. So we'll continue to monitor that series. I know you're very interested. Chad Ochocinco, I told you last week, had a new publicity stunt. Was going to ride a bull. Right. Wanted to play soccer, did that. Now he's a bull rider. Right. How long did Ochocinco last on the bull that was named Deja Blue? Eight seconds. Guesses? Hardly. Nine seconds. Two. Seven seconds. One and a half seconds. Oh, wow. That's not good. A little tougher than it looks, I guess. He did earn $10,000 for that. Had he won, had he ridden for eight seconds, he would have won a new truck and bull naming rights. You know what he was going to name the bull? Marvin Lewis. His head coach for the Cincinnati Bengals. So he said, I'm sure my coach was probably upset that I did this, risking a career-threatening injury. I mean, I would be too. I'm sure the NFL is also upset, but I don't follow their rules anyway. Smart. So odd.
Such a strange man. There. I'd like to cut his brain open and look inside and just see, like, what's going on. What's up in there? Yeah. Put it under a microscope and go, oh. He's just one of those guys that, you know, you think, boy, you've just never, you haven't really accomplished much. You've never really won anything. But, boy, you got a big mouth on you. Well, he is a talented guy. Great. What have you done? He is good, though. Great. What have you done? He hasn't won a Super Bowl. Hasn't done anything. I don't even think they'd want a playoff game. But that's not his fault. Isn't it? Partly. It's everybody. Of course, but still. Maybe zip your lip to win something. I agree. Have some class. We talked to a girl named Jessica on Friday. And we're going to talk to her again at 8 and see how she broke up with her boyfriend. I said, I think the humane thing to do is to not do it in person. Jay thinks that's disrespectful. So does L.O.B. Wood says fade away. Which is crazy. Panthers. And Sienna says, do it by phone, that's fine. As long as you communicate and you're talking with one another. Now, this guy is running for California Congress. He wants to be a congressman. His name is Dan Adler. And he wants to focus on the minority vote. Specifically, the Asian vote. Okay? So he's got a television commercial out. Take a listen to it. Asians are 15% of voters here.
Politicians don't speak to our issues. That's why I'm here. I have issues. Tell me. Medicare. You're not alone. So many people in this district. I'm Korean. You know, actually, my wife is Korean, too. You're Jewish. My family is Jewish. We minorities should stick together. I will represent everyone in the 36th district. My name is Dan Adler, and I definitely approve this message. Dan Adler, send a mensch to Congress. What's a mensch? After all. Oh my gosh. His wife is Korean. He has to like Korean community because after all, he married one. Oh my gosh. Plus, he is a Jewish. All of us minority need to stick together. Don't you think? Hey.
I understand he know Mikey. Mikey is Mexican. That's a minority too. Funny. Hey, all of you minority, a vote for Dana Adler is a vote for the minority. White people, you can do whatever you want. But if you're a Jew... What a Korean. We like you. What are you talking about, Willis? That him. Is he out of his mind? Wow. Is he out of his mind? He made the statement at the end. Hey, and I definitely approve this message. I sure did. There's no question about it. Way to put your stamp on it, Dan. Oh, wow. Hi, I'm Dan Adler. I love you Koreans so much, I married one of you.
That's incredible. Maybe secretly he wants to be on like Saturday Night Live or something. So he's going for the comic value. Hi, I'm Dan Adler. A lot of people would probably assume that because I look Caucasian that I don't like you Koreans. But I just want you to know that I do. So much so that my wife is Korean. That's right. She doesn't sound Korean. She sounds just like me. But that's okay. I married a Korean. Right, honey? That's right, darling. You did. Vote for my husband. He's Jewish. I'm Korean. And together, we're a Jewish-Korean married couple. We're Jurian. We're Jurian. We're Ku-ish. We're Ku-ish. We're a Ku-ish couple. Ku's for short. Yes. Now, I used to be married to a Mexican. And I was Moo-ish. Jackson.
I was a Jaxican. Imagine the jokes that followed that. The Jaxican. Because I'm also overweight. I'm Dan Adler's wife. And I approve this coup-ish message. That's right. A Jaxican. Meet George Jaxican. His boy. Joy Roy. Joy Roy. Asians are 15% of voters here. Politicians don't speak to our issues. That's why I'm here. I have issues. I have issues. Tell me. Medicare. You're not alone. So many people in this district. I'm Korean. I know that. In fact, I'm married to a Korean. She looks very similar to you. I have open season on all Asian jokes because, hey, I'm married to Korean.
And I'm a minority. I'm Jewish. I can say this because I'm Jewish. You know, actually, my wife is Korean, too. So technically, that makes me Korean. You guys are probably related. In fact, we're probably related. Jewish. My family is Jewish. We minorities just stick together. Enter the after school special piano music. Yes. Everyone in the 36th district. My name is Dan Adler and I definitely approve this message. Join me in Jewish Korean survivor. That's right. It's Jewish Korean survivor. One Jew, one Korean. And together we're running for Senate. In the end, there will only be one winner. Who will you crown? One Jew or one Korean? We'll have to wait and see on Jewican Survivor. On Ker-Jewish Survivor. Ku-ish Survivor. Jurean. Jurean Survivor. He's lost his mind. He's lost his mind. Wonder if he'll win. Oh, man. L.A. Times called it sort of a last-ditch effort. You know, he listened.
He's getting his name out there. Yeah. That is a true fact. He's getting his name out there. Now we know who Dan Adler is. Might as well be Steven Adler from Guns N' Roses. He's probably have a better chance. Probably have a better chance of getting elected. Anyway, now you know. Want to play 80s catchphrase? This is going to be fun. This isn't like a regular game that we're going to play all the time, but we thought it might be kind of fun to do. Here's the idea. We're going to have two people that we'll play, okay? And what we'll do is... I'm going to give you an 80s catchphrase, and you have to tell me, well, where'd it come from? It's kind of fun. You know, if you were involved in the 80s, what do we have to give away, Jay? We have a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld. All right, cool. 570-1949. And all you have to do is get three out of five. All right? Get three out of five correct, and you'll be fine. I'm a kid of the 80s, but I didn't necessarily know a lot of the 80s stuff. Like, I'm always shocked.
that Woods, L.O.B., Sienna, Jay, they know way more about, like, 80s sitcoms and stuff like that than I do. You know, I don't really know that much of them, even though that was my era. But we'll see how well you do. All you have to do is, again, no 80s catchphrases. And you'll do fine. Let's see. Let's take our first contestant. This is M1Ninja. Are you there? I sure am. All right, Ninja, are you ready? You've got to get three out of five, all right? I can do it. All right, here we go. Autobots, transform and roll out. That would be from the Transformers. You are correct. Transform and roll out. Very nice. All right, so you've got one right. You've got to get two more right. I'm a child of the 80s. I can do this. Here we go. By the power of Grayskull. That would be He-Man. Wow, look at you. That is correct. By the power of Grayskull. That was Prince Adam from He-Man. All right, you only need to get one more. Yeah, I had the She-Ra castle, so. Me too. There you go. All right, you ready? I am. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams. I got this. This is the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
That is correct. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams. Very well done. This special British edition of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous was brought to you in part by J.C. Penn. Of course it was. There was nothing more swanky than that. Oh, yeah. Just class. Yeah, like we were a lower middle class Mexican family. We would not have had that music playing to our life. No. Ours would be... Or... Yeah. Yeah. Like the Mexican Cribs. Yeah, yeah. That'd be more fitting for you. But we would not have that. No. You just won SeaWorld tickets. Yeah, go ahead. I was at OSI. It was a great event. And Lauren, it was great meeting you. You too, darling. Very nice. Nice to put a face with the name. Thank you, Ninja. Thanks. Hang on the line. We're going to give you four packet tickets to SeaWorld. One more player. This is M1 car behind? Formerly known as M1 truck driver. There you go. Yes. Poor truck driver. Poor God. He was right behind the winner. Behind the Harley winner. All right. It's 80s catchphrase, bro. Are you ready? I'm ready. Three out of five makes you a winner. Okay. The line is? The plane, boss. The plane. Fantasy Island.
Is correct. The plane. When the bell rings, you don't have to announce that the plane is here because that's what it means. That's why we ring the bell. That's why we ring the bell. If we didn't ring the bell, then you can say it. Then you could say. Like, for instance, think of it this way, Tattoo. Let's say that a freaking plane just landed, okay? And we were all surprised, you know, like, holy cow, there's a plane landing. Then maybe it would make sense for you to say, boss, the freaking plane, you know. But you know that, too, like clockwork at 2 o'clock, the freaking plane lands. Every day. When the bell rings. The bell rings, 2 o'clock, plane. And you still feel that little need. And I mean little. And I mean tiny, tiny, diminutive. 2 foot 4.
I freaking know. Shut up. Shut up. I'm sorry, boss. I was trying to help. I'm sorry, man. I don't need your help. Hey, boss, I have one freaking job. It's to announce the plane. You're going to yell at me about my one job? What do you want me to do? All right. That was the first one. You need to get two more right, and you are on your way, all right? Two of Harley. Not to a Harley. But almost identically the same thing, four-packet tickets to SeaWorld. All right, you ready? Exactly the same. Are you ready? Let's go. Did I do that? Did I do that? Did I do that? Your wife is trying to help you, and even she didn't know. Two seconds. Live cereal. It was Steven Urkel. Did I do that? I'm family now. Family now. Come on now.
Even I knew that. Now, I only knew it because Sienna and L.O.B. taught me. I knew that. Sienna does it pretty good. All right, you have three more chances, but you need to get two right. You ready? Engage. Engage. Oh, sorry. Engage. What is it? Three seconds. Enterprise. Enterprise. Star Trek. That is correct. Engage. Engage. I've lost contact, sir. What? Engage. Engage, but only through... Only engage through one ear. It's the only engage I could find. Engage, but don't do it in stereo. Engage in mono. Engage in mono, but only through the left channel. There's nothing like it's more than mono audio. I know, because I've loaded it several hundred times. Captain, what's the matter?
I don't know. I'm only coming through one speaker. Disengage that speaker. I won't be fine. Find a better clip. Less noticeable in your car. Good luck. All right. You got that one right. You got to get two more. Two more. And you're good to go. Where's that coming from? What the hell's going on? Oh, this is a three-minute... two-minute clip. Nothing happens. And then apparently something comes back. So it goes... Engage. Engage. I've lost contact, sir. What? Engage. And it stops. And then a minute and a half later, it comes back. Freaking engage. I said engage. I said engage. All right. One more. You're a winner. You ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
Go, Gadget, go. Inspector Gadget. Yeah, baby. Here I come. Time's for my spring to break. Very well done. Very well done. You are, in fact, a winner of SeaWorld tickets. Hang on the line. He's a wiener. How's that? He's a wiener. Oh, got it, got it, got it. So it's time for a wiener. Got it, got it. It's a bit of a stretch. Hey, why is Jesse James making the rounds? Sienna, do you know? He had as a book. He wrote a book? Yeah, he wrote a book. Must miss. Did you know that Jesse James, you know, in regard to the whole... In regard to the whole... What's her name? Sandra Bullock. America's Sweetheart. Yeah. In regard to the whole cheating on Sandra Bullock deal, he's decided, you know what? The low road's probably better than the high road. The lowest road you can travel. The lowest one you can do. We'll show you what we mean.
Got some audio of him. He's classy, dude. Play that for you next. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. What are you doing? Well, TV, I was called in to reset your cable box. But it's an all-new Fox Monday. I know. But first, when House discovers a drug that could cure him... It hasn't even gone through safety trials. ...he takes matters into his own hands. Okay, that's intense. Then, on part one of the stunning Chicago Code season finale, the battle between corruption and justice... The state's attorney has given us 24 hours. ...is about to take a shocking turn. Tell me what is going on, or I will shoot you in the heart. Wow, I'm heading home to watch Fox Monday. Good human. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then... Free gas makes you dance. Pump it free with Fox 5 Free Gas. Yep, free gas. Just watch Fox 5 News at 10 every night. Scan the code or go online for your chance to win a $100 gas card. Fox 5 Free Gas, tonight after Fox on Fox 5 San Diego.
Make your weekends even hotter at SeaWorld with Viva la Musica this Saturday and Sunday. This fiery festival celebrating Hispanic heritage is coming to a close, and you don't want to miss it. Experience Latin culture all around with savory, authentic cuisine, local entertainment, and performances from today's hottest international Latin artist live at Search Stadium. This Saturday and Sunday catch the final weekend of Viva La Musica featuring Prince Royce on May 21st and El Gran Combo on May 22nd. Enjoy this weekend of Viva La Musica along with all your favorite SeaWorld rides, shows and animal encounters with a fun card. Pay for a day, play all year. It's the last weekend of Viva La Musica at SeaWorld. For showtimes or to buy your fun card, visit SeaWorld.com slash Viva. Concert seating is limited. Entertainment subject to change without notice. Event included with park admission. Restrictions apply. The thing about water is that it all looks like water. And it all feels like water. So it's no surprise when it comes to the water we drink, some folks don't think there's a difference. We believe if you start with something better, you get something better. That's why every drop of Arrowhead 100% Mountain Spring water comes from carefully selected sources in snow-capped mountains.
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Lease Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x4 for $369 a month for 39 months with $24.99. Do at least signing for well-qualified lessees. Tax, time, and license extra. Call 1-888-925-Jeep for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residency, restriction supply, take delivery by 531. Hi, I'm Almond. I'm a fresh and easy neighborhood market customer. This message is by a real customer, not a celebrity. Saving money we pass on to you. Oh, I love the store. Most of the prices, they're very competitive. I always know it's going to be good quality, too. His food is prepared with love. And, you know, tastes how I am, but it's an affordable price. Everybody can afford it. I get everything you prepare. Thank you. Fresh and easy. And thank you, Almond. You just saved us some money. Now we can offer an 18-pack of Torino Cerveza for only $7.99 plus CRV. Line drive left. Petco Park is the place to be every Friday night with Friday Party at the Park. Watch your Padres take on the Seattle Mariners Friday, May 20th at 7.05. Be sure to stay after the game for Friday Night Fireworks presented by Northgate Gonzalez Market. Ripped to third. What a stop by Henley. Don't miss Friday Night Fireworks. Padres vs. Mariners, Friday, May 20th. Get your tickets today and save $5 per ticket when you buy online at Padres.com. Cue a rooftop pool. Cue the cuties. Cue a DJ. Any DJ. But not a French house music DJ.
Cue the unintentional double backflip belly flop. Cue the sympathetic eyes from the pool full of cuties. Cue the other guys lining up to do a double backflip belly flop. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Hubline Norwalk Connecticut under license from the trademark owner. Oh no, they didn't. Yes, they did. Denny's put bacon on ice cream, covered it with maple syrup. A maple bacon sundae. Just one of seven new dishes during Baconaglia. Denny's celebration of bacon. Come in now or anytime. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. USAA is proud to be the official military appreciation partner of the San Diego Padres. Find out when USAA and the Padres are honoring the military this season. Stop by the local USAA Financial Center in Oceanside or go to usaa.com slash Padres.
This report brought to you by McDonald's. It's back now. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's. For a limited time, choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks, only 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. Well, we've got a problem here on the 805 southbound Miramar Road. That right lane's blocked of the Miramar Road overcrossing to the southbound 805. Some police activity. They've got the right lane blocked at the end. It's right at the end of a police pursuit. Five southbound after Villa de la Valle, an accident there. Hit and run, looks like that victim's car is still stuck in that center divider. And the 163 southbound before the 5, a motorcycle and a car. CHP's on the way. This report brought to you by the San Diego Convention and Visitors Bureau. Take a trip to the pass. Classic cars and vintage racing vehicles at the Julian Classic Motoring Show. Happens May 21st, 22nd. Learn more at sandiego.org slash East County. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird, Bird Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Monday morning brought to you by Joe Roper Surf for Repair. Today, under partly cloudy skies and cleaner conditions, we've got a smaller swell overall, but cleaner surf. Looking at a west-northwest wind and ground swell that has tapered off from yesterday quite a bit, really. Touch of southwest still out there. Still, you're likely to find neat waist-high waves, chest tight, standout spots.
Dealing with a negative low tide this morning, which is further hurting sides that shape most areas. Kind of a beach break type of a swell, though, as it is pretty crossed up and broken up. Running in that knee to waist high zone on average of the chest height, those standout spots. As the tide fills, we look for some definite improvement. Right now, partly cloudy skies will greet you. Kind of a nice morning, really. And we've got some calm to light off shore winds, so conditions are definitely cleaner, just a bit smaller. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. For all your surf report repair needs, go see Joe Roper. The surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Fried chicken may be my favorite food item. Lauren. You know what? I'm just going to eat bad today. Let's get Burger King. Woods. It's the only thing I'm good about is washing my dishes, putting them in the dishwasher. Now, I don't know how to run our dishwasher. I've never... Never once turned it on. Sienna. I feel great because I love to go on walks and I hate to run. And Jay. I like mayonnaise and crackers. On FM 94.9. Delving into the life of Jesse James who wrote a book. Not making things better for himself. Yeah. He cheated on Sandra Bullock. And with a porn star? Is that right? Stripper. Stripper, yeah. From San Diego. I think a few other girls too. Wait, I thought the one from where...
I thought the one from San Diego was Tiger Woods' girl. No, no. There was one. It's Bombshell McGee. Bombshell McGee, yeah. She's a stripper here. She was a stripper here. Not that I know or have seen her work. She lives in like Point Loma. Really? Yeah, something like that. M1 Bombshell. Well, anyway, we're going to play the audio of him on Piers Morgan. And he's not taking the high road. Word of the day is belt. I haven't said it yet. And then at 8 o'clock, we're going to, 20 minutes from now, we're going to be talking to Jessica, who was on the air Friday. She wanted to break up with her boyfriend. And we gave her a lot of different ways. Because it's over. It's over. It's over. But we all had different ways of doing it. My way was, I thought, the humane way. You don't do it in person because then he doesn't have to cry in front of you. I can't wait to see if she did it the right way, which would be my way. Or my way, the fadeaway. Which you believe is the right way. Yeah, there's no question. Or Sienna's way. There's no right way. It's no matter what, it sucks. Yeah, the fit away is going to hurt a little, right? Yeah. The fit away is good. So Jesse James goes on Piers Morgan tonight and talks about Sandra Bullock. And during the awards speech where she was thanking him, he talked about that. Do you believe you may have found true love? I think so. I've never felt the way I do.
You know, for anyone, the way I feel for her, I've never had that feeling and I've never had someone like have my back 100 percent, you know, and stick by me when everyone turned their back. And she says, I'm, you know, I'm your friend and I stand by you. I don't care what anybody says, you know, and I think that's the definition of like what, you know. People that care about each other should be. I mean, it already is, of course. We heard a clip earlier from Sandra saying exactly that. That she felt that was what you were to her. She didn't say exactly that. Pretty much. Said you were the rock. Yeah, but, you know. That was then and this is now. Things are different. You know what I mean? Like, you know. Yeah, she said it, but I don't care. Because when she said it, she's probably like thinking about. The blind side. Or, like, Miss Congeniality. One or two. And if she was, like, what if she was, like, just focusing on that time she was in that movie, 28 Days. Yeah, but she could have just been talking about when she was in Speed. And she could have been talking about Keanu Reeves because they were kind of involved. In the movie. So how do I know? West Coast Shoppers.
Just want to get it out there. Get it out there. Dot com. Same speech at four different award shows. You saw two of them. What's your point? I don't know. You can take whatever you get out of it. So he's implying that she was insincere when she said those things. You don't think she meant it? I think she meant it to a certain extent. What does she do for a living? Movie stuff. Actor. What? Actor. Okay. Cool. Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, really? Wow. I hate him so much right now. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Okay. Jesse, you didn't say all of that after all of it came out. In fact, you really were trying to salvage your marriage. Yep. Just double-checking. Do you know what she got those awards for? Acting? Yeah. So what are you saying, Jesse? Gotcha. Game, set, match. Well, wait a minute. Actually, more like Wesker's chopper, set, match. Dot com.
Dot com. You said it, not me. You wanted to say it. You're trying to say it. You're doing everything in your power to say it. Maybe the thing is, who cheated? She didn't cheat? Well, what's her profession? Actor. Mm-hmm. What does that mean? Think about it. Here's some more. Use your head. Are you glad to be out of it? Man, 100%. Easy words. Jerk. Dude. Dude. Wow. Are you glad to be out of it? Man, 100%. I got a banging chick now, dude. She does all this crazy stuff. Ball gag. Ball gag and Nazi helmet. Swing. He talks about her. I mean, because he's engaged to Kat Von D, the famous tattoo artist. And he talks about them in the bedroom in a comparison. Oh, wow. Yeah.
I just can't, like, I just, you know, I don't know. It's very eloquent. It's very eloquent. Listen, listen. I didn't know anything about Jesse James. Nothing. I knew that he owned the motorcycle company. That's all I knew. Rebecca said she saw him on Celebrity Apprentice. Now, this is before all the cheating and all this stuff. My wife, Rebecca, sees him on Celebrity Apprentice. And while he's on Celebrity Apprentice, she goes, he seemed like an alright guy. Now, she says, maybe it was the editing. Because you know how they do editing. They really make somebody, they give people a different... They pick which ones they want to be the monsters and which ones to be the angels. And with some editing, they can make one person seem like more of an angel or more of a bad person or whatever, right? Well, she says, well, maybe it was editing. Because she says, on this show, he seemed like a really like...
Down to earth, very real, really cared about his wife, stand up guy, blah, blah, blah. Now, first thing I saw of him was on Spike TV. I DVR'd this series that he had and it was called, I can't remember, somebody will remember. Probably Cooking with Jesse James, probably something like that. It was something to the effect of. what weird stuff does Jesse James do? And he would blow things up and he would do kind of crazy stunts. What would Jesse do? It's called Chilling with Bro Namath. Chilling with Bro Namath, I believe was the name of it. I was the star of it. I'm Bro Namath. So what he would do is, I remember as I was watching this series, I was thinking to myself, he seems like kind of a douche. And the reason is because he was kind of mean. The more it went on, I thought, He seems like a bully. Okay, now I believe in life as a guy, and maybe I'm wrong about this, but I believe that as a man, you fall into one of two camps. You're either a bully or a hero, okay? Mentally, you fall into one of two camps regardless of your actions, okay? Mentally and psychologically, you're one of the two. You're either a bully or you're a hero upstairs.
You may be a bully upstairs and never actually bully somebody, but it's just who you are wired to be. Or you may be a hero and you don't do anything about it because it's the way you're wired to be. This is what I mean. Somebody gets bullied and picked on and you feel bad for them, okay? I would put you in the hero category. Somebody bullies and picks on somebody and you want to bully and pick on people too. then you're in the bully category. Again, could be wrong about this. But he did this thing one time on the TV show where he's in his 4x4 and he's driving through these landmines that are blowing up next to the car, next to the 4x4. And at the end of it, they're doing an interview with him in the car and he goes, kind of reminding me of when I was in high school and like the little nerd dorks would walk up to me and I'd be like, Get out of here. That's what it felt like. Like I was getting all pushed around. And I remember thinking, like, you were that guy? You were that guy? You're a douche. And then this? Like, again, man, this is that whole thing that we talked about. Like, how do we define men? If you're listening right now, you're a dude. How do you define yourself as a guy? Is it the size of your piece?
Maybe it is. Maybe the size of your piece for you is, hey, I got a big piece. And because I do, I'm a man. And everybody around me in the locker room knows it. Or it may be that you are physically big and you're capable of pushing people around. And so that makes you a man. Or you're able to lift things. You're physically strong. That makes you a man. Or does making you a man. Come down to what's in your guts and your heart. Defending. Not picking on somebody. What's in your guts? I can tell you. I used to be a freaking coward. Because what I would do is. I would talk all this crazy smack on the radio to people. On the air. Like I had this big mouth. And I would put people down. And I would do all this stuff. And verbally I was capable of really.
messing somebody up. It was a verbal equivalent of beating somebody up and I would do it like a bully. And the reason that I did is because I was short, fat, ugly, and didn't really think much of myself. And so the way that I got my rocks off was to do that. Then I had this change. Now I'm a different guy and I don't do that. And I've redefined in my mind what a man is again. Last week, I was talking about a guy that had a problem with me, went on the radio, said a bunch of stuff about me. I've had other guys in my life that have done things, refused to talk to me. To me, that isn't a man. That's a coward. A man says, let's talk. Let's work this out. Let's talk. This guy, this Jesse James, I listened to this. I'm like, dude, bro, you cheated on this chick. Which already in my mind makes you a punk. You're a punk. You could probably physically kick my ass, but you're a punk. You cheated on your wife. But what really makes you the punk is to then make her look like a douche. She didn't do anything. A year later. Yeah, bro. She didn't do anything but make the mistake of trusting you. You want to sell books. That's what he's doing. He's out there trying to sell his book.
Well, I get that, Woods, but I also believe him. Oh, I do, too. And I'm not saying, oh, I'm defending him because I'm saying he's trying to sell books. I believe what he's saying, too. Yeah, he believes all that stuff. He's trying to be very salacious and very... But don't you believe him? Oh, absolutely, I believe him. I believe that in his heart, that's what he feels. Like, you don't know. Yeah. You don't know. Which is... It's like, there's a lot of little boys that shave, man. There's a lot of little boys that shave. I don't know how I survived in there as long as I did. Because it's just like, I mean, you're cool. But the rest of those people, I just can't hang with them. I just, I just, I don't know. It's not. What does that have to do with her? He's saying that the rest of the people in Hollywood, he doesn't want to be a part of the Hollywood scene. It's got to do with her. Why are you on the show right now? He's trying to he's looking for fame. Well, yeah, dude. And you didn't marry. You didn't marry a bank attendant. Right. So why are you victimizing her? Why are you putting her down, villainizing her? You married her. It's so funny, dude, because I heard another interview on the radio with him. Totally different.
Totally different. Well, he's been doing this, though. I know he's been doing this. Oh, he's been making the rounds. So if you heard him once, that's great. But he's been doing this. This is his new thing. This is his thing. And maybe his thing is, oh, I'm just going to tell what I feel. I don't believe this is a lie. I don't either. Oh, pretty fake. Is that what you're saying? It's just pretend. It's not real. I like, I'm like. The guy that goes to a shop and I don't hang out in the office. I go to the back of the shop and hang out with the guys that are all greasy dirty. Okay. You're so rad. So what? I mean, I'm like a man of the people. Yeah, you know. I'm real. If you work at a bank, you're an apparition. You're not real. Jesse, what are you talking about? I have no idea. What do you mean by a ghost? You're wearing a suit. I do this talk show. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe you're a figment of my imagination. You see behind me the screen, it says Piers Morgan. That's why you're here. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. There's no maybe about it, you moron. You see, Piers Morgan. Yeah, I see it says Piers, but I don't know. Don't hard pee me, Jesse, okay? Piers. Don't you dare hard pee me.
I thought I was at the Newport Pier. It's not. It's Piers Morgan. We're not going to, like, go get some, like, corn dogs. Marijuana smoking SOB. Be real, dude. I'm real. I'm standing in front of you. Fakey. And that's where I belong, you know, and it's more about myself and, like, where I belong in this world. And I don't belong, you know, trying to think that I'm some fancy, you know, because of my wife. Well, then don't. Yeah, don't. Be yourself. Don't marry someone who is a movie star. Don't go on reality shows. Hang on, you guys. You're all ganging up on me, dude. You don't freaking get it. My wife hung out with phonies. And I finally had it so much that I had to make have sex with another girl. Alright? You're the worst person I've ever heard. No, you don't get it. You see, if you were married... Okay. Let's just put it in this way. Let's hear it. Sienna. What? What if you were married to a dude who is in Hollywood? Okay. If he hung out with people that were famous, wouldn't you want to have sex with some other dude? No, but didn't you know that before you married her? Yeah, but wouldn't just the fact that they're phony make you horny? No. For someone else? No, it wouldn't. Jesse, phony does not equal horny. Yes, it does. No, it does not. Her friends.
were so phony that I was like, I've got to have sex with a different woman. And it was unbearable. Oh, God. I was finally like, dude, you're so phony. I feel sorry for you, mate. I have to make love to someone else because you're phony. Well, you're not phony. Your friends are. You're cool. So I'm horny. You're cool. You're cool. They're phony. I'm horny. To sum it up, then, what Jesse James is saying is phony equals horny. By the way, Jesse James isn't phony. That's a real thing. That's your real name? Yes. Phony equals horny. Even though my ID says Jesse Kaputnik. If it's fancy, that makes me fancy. You know, it's just, it's bullshit. Oh, easy. Big time. Just put your overalls back on and shut up. Jesse James and I definitely approve this. This book is called An American Outlaw. Dork law. Get over yourself. M1 Taryn from San Diego. You there? Yes, I am. What's the name of that show? It's called Jesse James is a Dead Man. That's right. It's actually a cool show. I mean, I liked watching all the stuff he did. And I've always thought that he physically has a cool look. I've always appreciated the look.
The tats. I've always appreciated the look. But he, as a guy, has been really disappointing. You know? Yeah. I met him at the 105th Harley Davidson anniversary in Milwaukee. And he would not sign an autograph for any kid. He was a jerk. Weird. That's too bad, man. If he doesn't want to be in the Hollywood scene, why is he on numerous reality shows? He married Sandra Bullock and now he's marrying Kat Von D, who is also famous and on a reality show. I didn't want to be on the reality show. Then why did you do it not once but twice? Because I was forced. No one's forcing you. Somebody put a gun to my head. No, they're not. You're successful enough just with your company. Yeah. And I would have stayed doing that except that my wife was all, hey, you have to be on a reality show. And I was like, why? And she's like, if you don't, I'll have you murdered. Oh, wow. And I was like, I don't want to die. It's a very serious allegation. Oh, my gosh. I'm saying it. Sandra Bullock tried to have me whacked. So what you're saying is Sandra Bullock equals murderer. Yes. You heard it here first. Well, I'm not going to say that, but hello. In between the lines. I know. Hello. All right, Jessica's going to be on with us next. And we'll find out whose advice she took. Did she break up with this dude in person? Did she break up with this dude over email, over the phone? Be heard on the Mikey Show.
Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. System of the Downs in town next weekend, playing Cricket Wireless on the 21st. Transfer play the Casbah on the 27th. And June 1st, see Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra at SOMA. The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion is June 5th. IndependenceJam.com for all the info. Matt and Kim with the Thermals are at House of Blues June 16th. A Perfect Circle is at the Open Air Theater July 26th. And on July 30th, up in L.A. at the Coliseum. Rage Against the Machine, Muse, Rise Against. They're calling it L.A. Rising. Big Sonic Chill presents SOMA. at House of Blues, August 11th. Death Cab for Cutie played the Remack on August 16th. On August 19th, it's 3-11 with Sublime with Rome at Cricket Wireless. And Kings of Leon plays there on September 4th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com.
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They're telling me, man, waking up in the morning without having to put my contacts in or fool with my glasses is the best thing ever. So give them a call today. Make an appointment for a free consultation. 858-452-3937. Tell them that Woodsy sent you. Tell them actually your old pal Woodsy sent you. Tell them to make it right for you because they will. They are phenomenal. 858-452-3937 or online at www.clearvieweyes.com. Feast. Dude, what happened last night? I can't find my Super Big Gulp cup. What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup. All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven, but what happened after that? Hey, I think we got kidnapped by a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah, and they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Hola, mi amigos. No way. He's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right. And he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait. Didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah. Hey, he stole the cup. Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today. Only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie The Hangover Part 2 in theaters May 26th.
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Grubby's is proud to be a sponsor for this year's Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. While you're at the concert, make sure to stop by the Grubby's booth and experience the best burgers in North County. All three grades of Shell gasoline contain Shell's nitrogen-enriched cleaning system to protect critical engine parts against performance robbing gunk. This report is brought to you by Account Temps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Call or visit them at AccountTemps.com, an equal opportunity employer. Heading on the 5 southbound after Via De La Valle, a hit-and-run accident, that car's still stuck in that center divider. Three-car crash on the 94 westbound before 28th Street, and then we have some slowing as you travel through La Mesa, the 125 northbound before the 90, between the 94 and Fletcher Parkway. Report also brought to you by Massey Nissan. At Massey Nissan El Cajon, get a 2009 Nissan Cube. Only $14,988. Go to MasseyDeals.com now. That VIN number 109799. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
Signature fragrance. Lauren. When I was in my performing troupe of two mermaids, me and my sister, we once performed at a farmer's market. Woods. Pink is the new wine. Sienna. It makes me really sad when someone honks me. Like for the whole damn. And Jay. I'm not afraid of rats. I had a pet rat. On FM 94.9. Jessica here in just a second to find out how did it go over the weekend. You were going to break up your boyfriend, which is the right thing to do. If you know it's wrong, you know it's wrong. But how did you do it? Because we all had a different version of how it should be done. I said it's more humane to not do it in person because then the guy didn't have to emasculate himself in front of you by getting emotional. Woods says, no, just do the fadeaway. You just don't call back. Maybe the guy just sacks up and doesn't get emotional, even if it hurts. Oh, wow. L.O.B. says that the right thing to do is to do it in person. Jay agrees. And Sienna says, listen, as long as you're communicating.
You can do it over the phone. You can do it over whatever you want, but just communicate. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Thousands of residents of small towns in Louisiana have evacuated and are bracing for the flood after the Army Corps of Engineers began to slowly open the Morganza Spillway. They did this on Saturday, which is the first time they've opened it since 1973. And the reason they're doing it is to relieve flooding along the Mississippi River. They're doing that so that New Orleans and the more populated areas like Baton Rouge will not get the flood. So the smaller towns are about 2,500 people live in the path of the spillway. So pray for them. I mean, that's so sad. Also, a new police misconduct hotline is now up and running in San Diego. Now, you've heard the reports, I'm sure, police officers up to no good here. There's been a lot of stories over the past few months of sexual assault and more. So now if you witness anything, a police officer doing anything wrong, there's now a number that you can call. It's open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year at 619-531-2672. And I can post it later. Oh, yeah. Woodsy, what's going on in sports?
Well, there's a lot going on in sports. Sports is brought to us today by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some. Absolutely. If you didn't hear earlier, the Padres have won two in a row, which is, hey, you got to crawl before you walk. They trailed 7-1 yesterday after five innings. Brad Hop finished it off with a homer in the ninth off of Houston Street. For the win, man. It was a really, really big win for them and feels real good. So they will be taking on the Diamondbacks tonight. And also in NASCAR, my favorite sport, Matt Kenseth took the FedEx 400 at Dover International Speedway yesterday. It was his second Sprint Cup Series win at Dover. The voice you just heard is Woodsy. I'm Mikey. L-O-B is a comedian and also our assistant producer. Sienna's our news girl. And Jay is our producer. On the phone with us right now. We have M1 Jessica. Are you there, Jessica? Hi. We talked to Jessica Friday, and Jessica was breaking up with her boyfriend this weekend. We all had input on how it should be done. Again, I said, don't do it in person. That's not humane. It hurts. He's going to have to cry in front of you. That's emasculating. Wood says...
Fade away. Just don't respond to texts or emails. Don't call, and he'll get the point. L.O.B. and Jay are both of the same mind. If you want to respect the person, you do it in person. And Sienna says, doesn't matter. Just make sure you communicate. It can be on the phone if need be, but just communicate. How did you do it, Jessica? Well, I decided that being with him for over a year, I should do it in person. Yeah. You did it in person. I did, and it was tough. It really was hard. Actually, I kind of explained that I just don't really think he's the one. But he basically offered me a trip to Cabo, because I guess he'd been thinking about it, and he'd already bought the plane ticket. And, I mean, I don't know. He's never done anything wrong, and he's a nice guy. And, you know, it's hard to turn down a trip. So I basically... Oh, wow. And we decided to stay together. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. There's a bribe. Oh. Am I to understand this correctly, Jessica, that you are staying with a man because he's taking you to Cabo San Lucas? Not like completely, but I mean.
I don't know. But completely. But 100%. But 100% yes. I don't know. It's hard to turn down a trip to Cabo. I mean, I don't know. Sienna, is this a guy thing or is this a... Um, I don't... Ella B., would you ever... No. It's monstrous. Um, Woods. Yeah. You're a scoundrel. Would you... Would you ever do that? Yes. You would? You would. So you condone this behavior. Sure. I don't have a problem with it at all. Absolutely. Not whatsoever. Yeah, go down, drink some tequila, do a little lovemaking. Maybe find a spark again. This is so fun. This is a blast, isn't it? I'm so glad we decided to stay together. Me too, me too. I like you. This is great. I like you too. Hey, bro. She didn't really dig you. She tried to break up with you. That's all right. It's all right. I got her down here. I'm going to warn her about... potential plan of his. What? Get her down there and just kind of do his fun little thing with her and it's kind of like a last fling. Like, hey, I was going to buy this trip anyway for us and now that you've dumped me, I'm going to take you down, make it right a few times. We get back, I'm dumping you. It could happen. Isn't this her plan to have one last fling? It's her plan. Are you going to stay with him after Cabo or is that it?
I mean, I figure I'll see how it goes. He said he's going to... Because the thing is, our relationship wasn't very exciting, and so he said he'll try to make it more exciting. He's trying. You can go out with a bang. Yeah. So I guess we'll just see how it goes and see how it goes afterwards. I don't have a problem with it whatsoever. You don't have a problem with it? No. They're adults. They're trying. They're trying something. He... Okay. They're trying, all right. Woods, it's this. Hey, I don't have feelings for you. Well... I'll give you a trip to Cabo. Okay. Well, then I'll have feelings for you. I feel enough to go on a trip. Let's do it in the real way. Okay. Okay. Honey, I've been thinking this relationship, it's not bad. It's not great. It's just, it's boring. That's not what she said. Yeah. She said you might not be the one. She said that right now. You're right. She's not sure. But on Friday, she told us she knows this dude is not right. She got nada. She got nothing for this dude. She said she doesn't really look forward to hanging out with him. She doesn't really look forward to when he calls or texts. However, maybe because he's not that exciting. Maybe he's in a rut. Give the guy a chance to pull himself out. Listen, the only person that's hurting is this guy's wallet. That's it. That's it. If he's got money to spend. That's horrific. It's not horrific. Why doesn't he take someone who wants to be with him? Because he doesn't have anybody that wants to be with him. He's got her.
Let me ask a question here. I'm not saying that this is what she is. I'm merely asking a question. What do you call a woman that exchanges sex for money? You call her a prostitute? There's a song for it. Jamie Foxx sings. I ain't saying I'm a gold digger. I'm just saying I'm a gold digger. Or something like that. Something to that effect. Jessica, I'm not saying that you're a prostitute, obviously. No. Obviously. But I am saying that you are exchanging your love. Time. Your time. Goods and services. Aren't all women? Oh. Oh, wow. My gosh, Jay.
Really? What does that mean? Finally. Somebody said it. What does that mean? Explain yourself. Somebody said it. Yes, please explain yourself. Well, okay, so we take you out to dinner. Yep. Take you out to movies. Take you camping. Take you camping. Then take you home. Isn't that an exchange for... Ain't you a hooker? No. So what I'm saying is all women are hookers. I'm not saying you're a hooker. I'm not saying you're a hooker. Every damn one of you. I'm saying you're a prostitute. I won't call you a hooker. That's good. I call you a straight... I'll call you a street walker. Is that better? Does that fit you better? How about lady of the night? How about two bit hussy? Okay, four bit. Jessica. Okay, don't be upset. Don't be upset. Wait. Hang on. Let me ask you this. Let's say that he hadn't offered a trip to Cabo. Would you still be together?
I mean, I don't know. We really did have a good conversation. I don't know. I think I would have given him the chance to, you know, try to make the relationship more exciting without Cabo. I think. I would like to think that I would have. Sure. You're not a monster. You're not a monster. You're not a monster. Was he exciting this weekend when you guys were still together? She didn't like it. Yeah, we ended up, like, going to the park and having a picnic. See, she's trying. He's trying. He's trying, bro. It doesn't matter what he tries. She told us on Friday, she's out. Like, she doesn't have any feelings for the guy. Obviously, it does matter what he tries. She's making an effort. It happens, bro. I can't believe that the advocate for staying together is telling them to break up. They're not married. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Haven't you ever had a girl that was out on you and then all of a sudden she flipped gears and all of a sudden she's back in? Dude. Yeah. She had a chance to reconsider. Think about what she's going to lose. Right. Yes, but I didn't actually pay for round-trip airfare and hotel accommodations to get that. Talking someone into staying with you never works out. No. They already had their mind made up, and now you're just guilting them and bribing them, essentially, with a trip to Cabo. I've talked a girl out of breaking up with me, and it never goes good. You and Rebecca broke up a bunch of times. A million times. Yeah. And? And you got back together and you got married. Right, but you know what I never said about Rebecca?
I never said, I have no feelings for this girl. I mean, there's just nothing there. I never said that. What I did say was, it ain't working out, man. It's not working. It's a lot of passion. Yeah, it was a bunch of, you know, dopey stuff. Yeah, well, that's what this was, too. No, this was, he bores me. I have zero feelings. Can I ask a question? Have you guys ever broke up before? Where'd she go? She hung up on me. Oh, she's furious at you. I wonder why you called her a prostitute. I didn't call her a prostitute. You made the comparison. You are a smelly pirate hooker. I'm going to give you a piece of advice. Girls don't like to be called prostitutes, bro. Wait, Jay. They just don't. Jay goes, no, he calls every woman a prostitute. He's way worse off than you, Mike. Jay says that every girl that goes to dinner with a guy. I didn't say it was a prostitute. I said they're a hooker. You said, aren't they essentially? Whore, whore. We are not working towards it. If it happens as an offset, it's not a direct exchange. If a girl doesn't have any feelings for a guy. Okay, let's take prostitution.
Prostitute does not have any feelings for a John. Right. She just is exchanging goods for services. No kissing on the mouth. That's too personal. That's one movie. Yeah. I guess you know from personal experience. You can debunk that, man. Several hundred prostitutes kiss on the mouth. That's no big deal. There are plenty of prostitutes who kiss on the mouth. Client of friendship real good. Yeah, and they don't all look like Julia Roberts, kid, all right? All right. You're a sweet kid. You're a sweet kid. You're sweet. You guys are sweet kids. Why? Do you know anything? I got two words for you, pal. Crown Royal. Ow. Oh, gross. Kiss on mouth real good. What? How could you say that? What? I'll tell you how I could say it. Two words. Experience. Anyway. Feels real good. Experience, comma. Anyway. I got two words for you. The kid. Hey, you want to make $14 the hard way? Jessica, I'm sorry. Call us back. I'm sorry. I didn't meet... When you said, listen, Jessica, you're a prostitute. I didn't say she's a prostitute, but what I did say is that it bears a... She's not a prostitute, but it bears a striking resemblance. She's an escort.
Yeah. It's a prostitute. I wouldn't go that far. It does bear striking resemblance to prostitution when you are completely feelingless. Mikey, all women are prostitutes. Get it through that bald dome of yours. Hello. Buddy. I mean, hear. Hear ye, hear ye. All women are prostitutes. All right? And if you don't believe it, you're a sweet kid that lives in fantasy land and also believes in lucky charms and leprechaun. Jay, you're calling your two daughters prostitutes. No, I am not. Yes, I am. They're women. How dare you? They're women, Jay. First of all, don't bring them in, did you? And your wife is too, apparently. No, she is not. Listen, if you're an Isabel, you're not. That's right. Now you're getting it. But everybody else, hooker city. Mikey, your wife, hooker. Prostitute, that's right. Woods, your wife, prostitute. Hooker. My wife, lovely. Angel. Sienna, hooker. Ella B, hooker. Mikey's wife, hooker. Woods' wife, hooker. All the girls in sales, hookers. Yeah. Everybody here in the station hooker. Hookers. My mama, not a hooker. Not a hooker. She's Nisbell. She's lovely. Angel. All the M1 girls, hookers. Every now and then. Y'all know. You know who you are. You know who you are if your name is, if you're a girl. Yeah. You know who you are. You got breasts.
Chances are, you're a hooker. That's his new Jeff Foster comedy routine. You might be a hooker if you got less. You might be a hooker if you got a boyfriend. And are a woman. If you were born and they put an F where it said sex, you might be a hooker. Chad Bono, still a hooker. That dude's still a hooker. I don't care what you say about that man. He is a hooker. One time or another, hook city. Hook city. If Jay gets away with this, I'm going to be upset. Shut up. He's gotten away with it. Get away with it. He just got away with it. He gets away with calling every woman a hooker. And people will laugh. Oh, Jay. Hey, you ever take a girl out to dinner and then she has sex to you? You know what that is? You know what that is? Tell me she's a hooker. Oh, my God. Y'all ain't going to hurt my feelings if you want to set me up with a hooker. A.K.A. any woman out there. I.E. a female.
Oh, my God. The only women that ain't hookers are virgins, and all is is aspiring hookers. They're boring. Jay, this is Pierce Morgan. So what you're saying is women equal prostitutes. Well, if they go to dinner. And then... Slay. Hooker. Okay. Hooker. In other words, pry your wife... Mrs. Morgan? Yeah. Prostitute? Yeah. Hooker. Because I bought her a ring. Woman of the night. And then she slept with me. Streetwalker. Good Lord. Here's an interesting thing. You were born. Correct. Your mom's a hooker. Oh, my God. I can't believe it. Oh, Jay, you monster. You know who ain't a hooker? Somebody that ain't never been out to Donovan's. That's who. But if you have, prostitute city. Yep. Did you get a steak? True or false? Did you get a steak? Yeah. Did you go home? Yep. Did you in fact get into a bed? Correct. Or some kind of couch or other device? Yes. Did you make mad passionate love? Yes, I did. Hooker! So I traded sex for steak. Yeah, you're a steak hooker. Hey Mikey, your dad ever buy your mom any enchiladas or burritos or whatever it is y'all eat? I'm sure at one point... Hooker!
So now I'm a racist as well. That's right. I'm taking liberties here. Not my daughter. She's lovely. She's lovely. Little angel. M1 Grateful from San Diego. Hi, how are you? Good. I just, I had some similarities with the lady who just called in. After about a year, I knew I didn't want to be with this guy anymore. And I wasn't really sure how to go about breaking up. So I took him to one of our favorite restaurants and got him all liquored up and then went to a spot on the beach because I thought that would make it easy. And it absolutely didn't. And he kind of got hysterical and said I was ruining his life. And so I stayed with him because I felt so guilty, you know. I thought, why should I take this away from him if he's so blissfully happy? And what it turned into another year down the road was me finally breaking up with him two weeks before our wedding. I thought the first one was tough, but this one, he really, it was pretty crazy. Now, what is the similarity in her story and Jessica's story? Having difficulty breaking up. Yeah, and she knew you didn't want to be with him at all. You knew you didn't want to be with him, but you stayed anyway. She stayed because she's guilty. Jessica stayed because, in your words, she's a prostitute. I didn't say she was a prostitute. I did. No, I said it.
I said it for the city San Diego to here. I say it again. Why would you say yes when he proposed to you? She felt guilty. Yeah, I definitely felt guilty. Guilt. But that's your, I mean, that's right there. All you have to say is no. Guilty conscience. Guilty conscience. Spend the rest of my life with somebody. Just miserable. Guilty conscience. But two weeks before, no guilty conscience? Nah, that's cool. Because it was right. Wedding planned, ready to go. Dressed, bought. Billy, I definitely did. However, I think he was more in love with the idea of getting married than me because he got married less than a year after that. So that kind of got rid of the guilt. Yeah, I was just, I didn't know, you know, I felt like I was hurting him. And then I finally realized I was just going to hurt myself and a lot more people if I stayed with him because he couldn't see that we weren't meant to. Are you married now? No. You're still single. How old are you? 20, 30. Uh-oh, 20, 30. Ah, so she was really young. I'm 24. I'm 24. I know that sounds crazy. I was born in 86. I'm just nervous right now. That's all right. Oh, you're fine. She just totally proved it. You proved it? Yeah, 86. I was born in 85. Makes sense? Yeah. Yeah, I knew that's what you would ask. I was going to ask you when you were born. Good save. Well, this happened when I was 22.
Man, that's a person that really has a problem saying no to people. Somebody asked them to marry him. Yeah, I can't say no. Well, yeah, it was just scary because I knew how much I meant to him. And like I said, I felt guilty. His family loved me. I thought, why should I take his happiness away from him? I'll just marry him. You're too young. You got a few good years ahead of you. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Thank you. I appreciate you. Hey, look at this hot mama. This is M1 Latin Mama from Chula Vista, and she didn't do this. Right, Latin Mama? Yeah, I was with dating. Actually, my current husband, we had broken up a couple of times throughout our dating relationship. But one of the first times we've broken up, and he kind of knew that I was just done, he offered, well, not offered, but mentioned, you know, I've been saving up my money so we can go to Hawaii. That, you know, he had it all ready to go. So let's just stay together. We can make it work. And I couldn't because I, you know, I knew. Good for you. Right. You didn't take the trip to Hawaii. Didn't take the trip to Hawaii. And then about eight years later, we ended up dating again. Oh, look at you.
Hey, sometimes all people need a fresh start. That trip down in Cabo is going to give them a nice, fresh, clean slate. Real good. If she's going to stay with him, she should say, okay, I'll stay with you. And six months from now, we'll consider the Cabo trip. If she truly wants to consider the relationship. That's a good idea. Go down and have some margaritas. Thank you for the call. I appreciate you, Latin Mama. Lay on the beach. Knock it out. Fresh tan. Fresh tan. Real good. I've told you guys a lot of embarrassing stories about myself. Yes. And yesterday, remembered something that I've never told on the radio before. Yes. Yeah. And for the sake of ratings, I will share it with you. Yeah. And then hopefully we can just let it go. Now, pop it in. The Mikey Show. And turn it on. Hold on. Be a part of The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Performing on the FM 94.9.
Tickets are sold out. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Triple Hops Rude Miller Lite. Taste Greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubby's and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside.
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This report, it's brought to you by Account Temps, providing clients with cost-effective staffing solutions to their peak accounting and finance workload needs. Call or visit them at AccountTemps.com, an equal opportunity employer. 94 westbound before Euclid Avenue, we've got an accident, three cars there in the center divider. Also the 8 westbound before Taylor Street, hit and run, CHP's on the scene there. And as you make your way on the 15 southbound, as you come through Escondido this morning, right between El Norte Parkway, Felicita Road, it's slow. Part of the problem with me is I like summertime. I just, I don't like going out and doing stuff. Lauren. Ketchup packets in my drawer at home. So what? Mikey, I have a new ritual. What? I have to have a Dr. Pepper and a donut on the way to work every morning. I want to work out. I hate the gym, but I want to go. And Jay. I am a huge fan of meatloaf. On FM 94.9. I'll never understand the way that the human mind works, the human brain. I don't know why it works the way it does. But what I can tell you is sometimes little things fire off in our brain and they just happen.
This weekend, I was listening to some music and for whatever reason, it reminded me of something that I did when I was a kid that I have not shared before. You know, but I feel that this is a safe place. Is it? Is it really? Really? Where have you been for the last year and a half? It's the, in fact, might be the least safe place ever. It's the antithesis. Like maybe Watts at 2 a.m. on a Friday night is safer than this room. Agreed. Could be. So when I was six, I would ride my little bicycle around the neighborhood. And there was a house on our block. And there was a 14-year-old girl, 13, 14-year-old girl that used to live in this house.
On the street. Okay. So when I would ride it by this house on the sidewalk, her window was there. And she used to practice playing the flute. And I would stop and I would pretend to be mesmerized by the flute. What is wrong with you? I mean, is that I would get off of my, I would like, I'd stop, put on the brakes on my bike. What is that? Then I would get off of the bike and I would, like, look around. Like, what is that music? Like, I was enchanted. And then I would, like, you know, I would look around. I would move my head around. Where is this coming from? You on drugs? Where is that music coming from? And I guess I was, like, in my...
In my dream, what I was hoping would happen is she would realize I'm having an effect on him. I'm enchanting him. And she would stop and then I would stop. But then she would start and then I would be enchanted. Woods is just staring at me. Woods is just staring at me. I'm speechless. And then maybe one day she would come outside and she would have her flute and she would say, she would say, yeah, Lauren is pretending. Come outside. Pointing at you. And she would say, and I don't know, but I imagined that she would say something like, little boy. Nino. What are you doing? And I would say, I heard this music. And she would say, that was me. And then, like, she could control me through the flute.
Or whatever. I don't know. And I don't know if we would be in love or what the deal would be. Are we going to do it? But I would get off of my bike and I would do this. I would go. Oh, my gosh. For how long? She never noticed. How many times did you do that? Probably four times. The Pied Piper. She never noticed you standing outside? If she did. She didn't. She didn't ever do anything. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge it. Because why would she? Some creepy little Mexican kid out there. She told her friends, watch this. I'll bet that her mom, I bet she would go, Mom, that creepy kid is out there again. And her mom was like, Nancy, you get out there and say hello to that little weirdo. That little weirdo. And she's like, no, Mom, I want you to call the police.
And her mom was like, no, you keep playing the flute for him. I could just see your sweet little chubby face. What is that? He's doing bits. I was pretending to be enchanted. And you weren't. Here's the difference. If I had done it, I probably would have done it like as a joke. You weren't doing it as a joke. You were like. I think I can get this broad if I do this. I wasn't even, I can get this broad. It was like, I wanted her to believe she was having a deep, rich effect on me. Yeah. We were very similar little kids. Yeah, because you did white hand. I would do stuff like that, too. You would? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not as detailed and... Creepy and deviant. What is creepy? Give me an answer. Peeping Thomas. I would do things for effect a lot, like pretend like I was really hurt by something and be looking down for a long time and sulking so that someone would be like, Lauren, what's the matter? What's going on? When I found out my mom was pregnant with my little brother, I ran upstairs and started crying. And they were like, what's the matter? And I was like, I don't know. How could you do this to me? But for no reason. Yeah, kids like to be dramatic. Yeah.
I... So nothing's changed. Yeah. I am a middle child. I was telling this wife, I was telling this story to my wife yesterday, and I go... It's amazing you're still married. I go, you ever need attention so bad that you pretend to be enchanted by a flautist? Was she pretty? I never saw her. Never? How do you know she was 14? I just knew she was a girl. I knew she was a girl. It was a big, burly dude. It was in the 70s. What if it was a big dude? He wanted to be in Jethro Tull, so he was learning the flute. It was a dude. Aqua long. You watch a lot of movies. Yeah. Oh, you did. So I was very dramatic and wanted to... But in my little fantasy, she would come out and be like, little boy. Hello, little boy. Well, no, she was 14.
Little boy, what are you doing? I don't know. I heard the most beautiful sound in the world. And it stopped me in my tracks. Was it this? Why, yes, it was. Sienna is mortified for me. She has her face in her hands. Is it really that smooth or was it more like... It was like that. It was like that. But I pretended that it was like this. Imagine. And I said to Rebecca yesterday, I told Rebecca yesterday, I go, Woods is going to say, maybe throw a bottle around. Let me go out and play with your buddy. That's a beautiful sound. Where's that beautiful music coming from? It's so beautiful. My heart is swelling. I can't even ride my banana seat bike.
can't even ride anymore because I'm stopped in my tracks. This music is so arresting, so seizing that I can't even go on. Can you see me? Here. Moved. Can you clean my spit? I'm moved. Mom. You've captivated me. Oh my. The sound. Please pay attention to me. Somebody. Anybody. Someone talk to me this week. This week. Someone talk to me this week. Oh, Miguel. Someone talk to me this week. Bravo. Fantastic. That is a vivid memory.
The saddest part is she never even heard of it. Is that the saddest part? Is it really? The enchanted six-year-old. The enchanted six-year-old. Boy, our youths were certainly different. Yeah. You're a performing artist. Sad little sack. So not much has changed. Well, the little parts change, that's for sure. You probably only weighed 20 pounds less. What were you, six? About 220? Three foot nine. Think of that poor bike creaking down the road. Your first lowrider, huh? Fat little teddy. She didn't know you were out there because she thought you was a little lost pig. Look, Mom, somebody put a moon jump in there. Somebody lose their...
Pig, we just moved next to SeaWorld. Why is there an elephant in the yard? I'm sad for you, Mike. Circus is in town. My wife goes, just when I thought you could not get weirder. Isn't that great when stories like that come rushing back? I did that. I also, you know, like for fun, I had little friends that were girls and we would like act out like dramas. You know, we would call it like, we'd call it like. House? Yeah, or something, you know. I don't know what we would call it, but we'd come up with a name for it. And we would have to pretend that like we were married. Oh, yeah. That was a fun game. We all did that. But I didn't do it like, it wasn't sexual. Oh, you missed out. Yeah, you should have got it there.
Well, maybe it was when they were with other boys, but when they were with me, the art was never going to go. Yeah, it was about the art. It was more about the performance, you know, the theatrical element. The integrity of it. The integrity of the acting and the scene. Yeah, they were like, we shouldn't kiss for real because it would break the barrier of actor-actress. Right, right. You know, and I'm... But you do with Tom. I know, but Tom... He's attractive. Tom is different because he really wants to be an actor. So do I. Yeah, Tom weighs less. He plays Little League and pop owner football. He doesn't have ketchup on his lips. He doesn't have a hot dog sticking out of his pocket. His best friend's name is... His best friend's name isn't Chips Ahoy. Is that a hot dog in your... Maybe you should leave that alone. No, it actually is a hot dog. Do you want to buy it? It's a real hot dog. No, it actually is a hot dog. I have a whole package of hot dogs in my pocket. Yeah, they're ballparks. Oh, nothing but the best. I thought those were your fingers.
No, that's a pack of ballpark franks I just carry around for snack. You guys want some Vienna sausages? Look, are we here to act? Are we here to make fun of my food? The fact that I carry hot dogs in my pants. You know, what is this? Is this play act time? Is it just bust on Mike for having hot dog in his pants? Is it just going to bring personal matters into rehearsal? This is a rehearsal, you guys. Let's take it serious. Let's just keep kissing and making out and, you know, doing what six-year-olds do, just experimenting. But don't just sit here and talk about my cookies, my potato chips, my hot dogs, my trail mix, my Oreos, my deviled ham, my deviled ham, my deviled mix, condiments, ketchup in my beard. I've already got a beard. Oh, you know, just freaking, come on now. I have a flout. player to get to in like five minutes. And if I don't get out, hang on. She's here now. Hang on. I have to act like I'm enchanted. You watch too many Disney movies. You just standing outside there. In front of her house. On the sidewalk. To nobody. Cars driving by. What the hell? Can you imagine that? Somebody take that kid home. Is that a little Esparza kid again?
Standing out in front of the house pretending to be in love with a flute of that little 14-year-old girl that lives there. Somebody should go give them something to eat or take them home. Oh, my poor wife, right? Seriously. Now everyone knows. It's incredible, though. What a great story. Everyone felt bad for her before that story, Mike. Ain't nothing's changed. She already has to lay in bed with you. Imagine that. How bad could it get? Imagine that. How much worse could it get? She's got to look at you more than anyone else. Do you know what I mean? Poor thing. My girl just sitting there praying for the insurance policy to come through. Just swearing off LASIK surgery. She don't want to rise. Trust me. She's praying for cataracts. I know Woods talked to her about Clearview and she said, hell no, I ain't got Clearview. I'm blind as a bat and I'm loving it. Poor girl looks like Jerry Lewis in The Nutty Professor.
But she says, I ain't taking these things off. That way she thinks she's married to Tom Cruise. Same height, just different weight. Tom Cruise, if Tom Cruise is being played by Louie Anderson. Louie Anderson, you're giving yourself credit. That's a lot of credit, Mike. Easy. Easy, Louie Anderson. You're starting your workouts today. Maybe in a couple years you'll be Louie Anderson. Okay, so, Woodsy saw a movie. old movie recently. And we gotta talk about it. In fact, I'll play you the scene. It's a very famous movie. You guys know this. I got money. I got security. I have businesses. But you have something that I just don't have. Well, I guess there's limits to what money can buy. Not many. Some things are for sale. Such as? So what are you saying? You can't buy love? That's a bit of a cliche, don't you think? It's absolutely true. Well, let's test the cliche.
Suppose I were to offer you $1 million for one night with your wife. But I think you want me to do it. Why do you want to do it? I'd do it for you. What this money could do for our future. I'd enjoy it. Love, just sex. Woods was saying, you know, he saw it. He's like, gosh, just skeeve me out all over again. Indecent Proposal 1993. One night with this man's wife. They need the money. $1 million. Now, accounting for inflation, I'm going to ask you, M1s, is there a price that someone could offer you to sleep with your wife for one night? Would $1 million do it? Would it cost more? 570-1949. You're loose to go in for that sort of thing. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got the world by the tail. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes.
On FM 94.9. What are you doing? Well, TV, I was called in to reset your cable box. But it's an all new Fox Monday. I know. But first, when House discovers a drug that could cure him. Hasn't even gone through safety trials. He takes matters into his own hands. Okay, that's intense. Then, on part one of the stunning Chicago Code season finale, the battle between corruption and justice. The state's attorney has given us 24 hours. He's about to take a shocking turn. Tell me what is going on, or I will shoot you in the heart. Wow, I'm heading home to watch Fox Monday. Good human. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then. Free gas makes you dance. Pump it free. Fox 5 Free Gas. Yep, free gas. Just watch Fox 5 News at 10 every night. Scan the code or go online for your chance to win a $100 gas card. Fox 5 Free Gas, tonight after Fox on Fox 5 San Diego. This is the sound of Marcus trying to find a branch of his bank on the other side of town. Please take the next left in 17 miles. Oh, come on. You'd think there'd be one a little closer. This is Tony looking for a chase bank.
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to your Chevy dealer. Well, it looks like the 94 westbound before Euclid Avenue, an accident, three cars in the center divider, some backup on the 56 westbound between Black Mountain Road, Carmel Creek Road, and the 5 northbound between Palm Avenue and the 15. Pretty slow this morning. This report brought to you by San Diego Convention and Visitors Bureau. Embrace the Wild West during the annual Ramona Rodeo. It's May 21st through the 22nd. For more East County adventures, visit sandiego.org slash East County. I'm Stacey. Cohen FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial radio station. And now, ladies and gentlemen, back to the Mikey Show. Quiet, everybody. We're going on the air. With Mikey. Some guys do a bunch of stuff, but I'm not one of them. I'm going to be. Are you? Yeah. Lauren. I think I need to be on Ritalin. Woods. You know what makes me happy? Copenhagen Long Cut, a fresh Dr. Pepper, and an eclair. Zienna. You can just show me how to work the computer. And Jay. It's kind of my job on the show to try to destroy you. On FM 94.9. So the question that has been posed to M1s is, is there a price that you could pay like in the movie Indecent Proposal? In Indecent Proposal, Robert Redford offers Woody Harrelson a million dollars to sleep with his wife Demi Moore. And they take him up on it. Now, would you do that for a million dollars? Maybe you'd do it for more than a million. Maybe you'd do it for a hundred million. 570-1949.
Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, 25-year-old Megan Wren, more popular known as Tom Sizemore's girlfriend, has been missing since March 31st, and she was just found over the weekend. Tom Sizemore was actually being questioned by police over the last week to see if he had something to do with her disappearance. Well, luckily he did not because she was found and she was found alive. What was the deal? Do they know? They haven't given a reason yet for the disappearance. Hasn't been released yet. But all we know is that she has been located and reunited with her family. And that Tom Sizemore said that he is relieved and happy that Megan is safe and sound. They were living together when she disappeared. So that's why he was in question. Yes. Also, a little not as serious of a story. An Ohio boy, 7th grader. was suspended last week for farting on the school bus. And has people, you know, questioning whether or not suspension is the appropriate consequence. His father is upset, speaking to the school about it, saying, look, you can't expect a kid for an hour on the bus to hold it in. Oh, please. Yes, you can. The bus driver. Yes, you can. You're on the school side on this. He farted.
Woods, I'm not on the school side for suspending him. Okay, good. But I think it's stupid for the dad to be like, what, do you expect him to hold it? Yeah. He's a kid. Yeah. The kid was doing it as a bit. I don't care. You've never slipped? Yeah. You have. Yeah, I have slipped. Yes. I have slipped. But you know what? You're suspended. I've also done it purposefully to be a dummy. Well, the bus driver and school official said that he is a repeat offender of this. He has a history of, quote, passing gas on the school bus. Let the guy roll with his bit. Yeah, let's see if he still does it. I'd say prove it. Let's see if he still does it. Suspended little suspended farter. Adults do it on the plane. Adults do it in the studio where they work. It's disgusting. I know it is, but does it warrant suspension? If you do it... Are you going to fire me? No, I'm not going to fire you. I'm not going to fire you. I'm not even going to discipline you. I'm not even going to discipline you. Because you're an adult. But if it's a kid and he's farting on a bus all the time, and I'm the bus driver, hey, fart face. Knock it off, man. Hey, partner, come on. You got to relax. Don't force it. You're going to blow out your own. I don't need your farting on the bus, man. It smells. I know you think it's funny. It stinks. You know why I think it's funny? Why? It's funny. It's not funny. It stinks. It's not funny. Roll down a window. Crack it open. Yeah.
You know why I think it's funny? Because it's freaking funny. You know what's funny? The sound is funny. Yes. The smell's not funny, dude. That's not funny. It's funny by accident or like once, but repeatedly, especially silent ones. Oh, if it's an accident, it's funny every time. Silent ones are not funny. No. Woods. But if you do it and you do it purposefully like Woods does, it's like, hey, not everyone enjoys you as much as you. Like, I don't like that. Smell. I don't need your inside. Yeah. It's farts and sounds like a duck quacking. And then he goes, what? What was that? What? What? If there was no consequence, I wouldn't care. There's a consequence to be paid. There's a price to be paid. Fair enough. Sometimes you think you know. And sometimes you don't know. Sometimes you're like, yeah, this will be fine. And sometimes it's not fine. Why don't we just then assume? Let's err on the side of caution. Let's assume it will not be pleasant. Because I think 10 times out of 10, it has been one of those unpleasant things. Well, the thing is, is that that is one of the worst smells that the humans know. Oh, yeah. And so why would anybody do it?
Listen, can I ask you a question, Woodsy? This is about sports? Nope. Okay. Oh. Because it goes news, then sports. Let's try to keep you on track. What if about this? Okay. What if I thought it was, because, you know. I don't want to talk about my farts anymore. There are people that thought, there are people that think that the sound of puke is funny. Ew. Oh, yeah. There are people that think it's funny. I do. That's why you do it. I'm one of them. What if I actually did it? Oh, it'd be repulsive. Yeah. Hideous, repugnant. What's the difference? It's something coming out of your mouth. Farts are quick and there's no cleanup. Yeah, there's no cleanup. Unless it's me. Right. And maybe one out of a hundred times there may be some issues there. What's going on in sports?
And we move on. One thing I failed to mention was that Matt Latos, the Padres pitcher, did get that monkey off his back. He did pick up the win yesterday against the Colorado Rockies. How did he play baseball with a monkey on his back? It's weird. It's really weird. It's so weird. But hey, at least it's off. He got it off. That's what I'm telling you. He doesn't have to anymore. He had lost 10 games in a row. And in the San Diego semi-professional baseball league, in the premier baseball league, the Tipsy Crows had a walk-off win yesterday at Chula Vista High. 6-5. They were down. We were down to our final strike. And a two-run single clinched the walk-off. How many fans there? For the crows. God, yesterday there was like 12. 12 people? Yeah. Wives or? No, wives. We had an M1 came out and watched, and we had a few people. It was great. Yeah, big crowd, 12. Lest any new listeners out there think we're talking about an actual semi-pro baseball league. We are. You might be Googling right now. We are actually talking about Woods pay-to-play adult league. We don't pay. Now, this league. Premier baseball league. The premier baseball league. Premier. Yeah. It doesn't get better, right?
Premier means the highest. Yes. Exactly. The highest of those that do pay to play. Yes. And, well, somebody made the name up, though. Yes. But here's the thing, in case you don't know what it is. It's a league where men that have regular jobs, they will get together on the weekend and they'll play baseball. Right. It's organized. It has umpires. Yes. Some men will go play golf. Maybe they'll play poker. These men decide that their choice of hobby. They're going to go to a high school. Their hobby is to play baseball. Now, the umpires during the week may work for like solar turbines. Tax attorney. Or taxidermist. Taxidermist. Even better. I don't know what they do. Taxi cab driver. Taxi cab driver. You know where they are on Sundays? They're umping semi-professional baseball. It's a fun hobby to have. It's not a hobby. A high school. Knitting is a hobby. Professional, semi-professional baseball is not a hobby. It's not a hobby. Not everybody can do it. Semi-professional baseball is not a hobby because those people actually get paid to play. So do we. That would actually be a contributing part-time job for them. Doesn't semi-professional sort of imply that it's only one notch below professional? No, not necessarily. What does it imply?
It means that you're semi-professional. What's the semi mean? What's the semi mean, though? It means you're not quite professional. But you're not quite amateur. Semi means it's part, right? It's partly professional. It's partly professional. And profession, if you look up, you know, profession means something that you get paid to do the trade that you're providing. You get paid? Yeah, we get paid. How much do you get? I think league fees are like $150 a guy. Yeah. So I didn't have to pay them. So it was like I made $150. Well, wait a minute, though. The reason you didn't have to pay them is because a bar called the Tipsy Crow. Yes. Bought your uniform so that you guys. They paid our league fee so that we didn't have to. Hence, we get paid. No. Yeah, no. They wrote us a check. That means we got paid. They gave my manager. When you did your taxes, did you have to file as an independent contractor? No, because I have a job here. From the money that you made from your semi. It's money I didn't have to spend. Isn't it, in fact, Little League for adults? No. Yeah. There's nothing little about it. It's just a league, really. Take the little away. It's a league. It's like the Bad News Bears and Chico's bail bonds. No.
No meaning no, it isn't Chico's Bail Bonds. It's the Tipsy Crow, which is a bar downtown. They wrote us a check and said, guys, go out and represent us in the Premier Baseball League. Did you guys get the chance to spend that check however you wanted it? Yes, the way that we decided to spend it was we signed it over. You split it up. No, we signed it over to the Premier Baseball League. 12 bucks each. No, you guys aren't following. You're not following. They wrote our manager, Anthony, a check and said, here, Anthony. Did they make it out to Anthony? They made it out to his first and last name, Anthony Odo. They give it to him. He says he brought it home to his wife who deposited it at Wells Fargo and they bought a uniform. No, no. What he did then, he then took that check and gave it to Ben Brough from the Premier Baseball League. The commissioner. The commissioner. Yes. Commissioner. So therefore, I didn't have to reach into my pocket to write that $150 check. When is the off season? Why don't you guys get there? When is the off season? We don't have an off season. You don't. We play year round. Got a double hatter on Sunday.
It's amazing. So interesting. It was a big win. Some guys have a belt on. Some guys don't. Some guys have, you know. Yeah. No, we all match. You do? There's a couple of us that don't. Oh, boy. How do they not? We picked them up new, and we don't have enough uniforms to go around. So what do they wear? Sweats? Black t-shirt? No, they wear pants and like a regular shirt. Like jeans? No. Baseball pants. Oh, baseball pants. Yeah, you get them from Sports Authority. Oh, you could go to Sports Authority and just buy them. The league doesn't provide it for them? Right. Hats and... Hats and shirts only, but we're out of shirts and hats. So what kind of shirt do they wear? Just like maiden? You could wear a maiden shirt. You could if you wanted to. Yeah, what about a Hanes shirt? You could wear Hanes. Yes, you could. Undershirt. You could wear an undershirt. Oh my gosh, I want to see that. So badly. A free t-shirt that they got from a 5K maybe. The guy that won the game for us yesterday, Fernando, doesn't have a uniform. But he does have a pink bat and a blue glove. He has a promotional t-shirt that says Salt, starring Angelina Jolie. It's got a hole in the armpit, but he doesn't care. It's so comfortable. It was a big win for us. It was a walk-off. It was our first walk-off, and it was freaking rad. Are you guys going to get a bonus from this big win, or just kind of keep going? Just a pat on the back. Doubleheader next week. Lionsgate Pictures presents... Like Water for Elephants. It's just Water for Elephants. Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, that gets me. That gets me every single time. So, 570-1949, I guess we lost the people that were on the line to tell us about the indecent proposal thing, but what are you going to do? We did? Yeah, we did. Yeah. We did, because we took 20 minutes talking about your freaking premiere, baby. It's entertaining. Isn't it? Kid's got something fresh for Maki. He's got something real good for you. Hey, Jay, pick up a bag. Pick up a bat. Hey, you want to talk your big game? Be a semi-professional baseball player and then we'll talk. Meet me out on the diamond, pal. I would love to see Jay at the plate one time. Yeah, you're always at the plate. That's Woods' head hitting the microphone. Touche, MF-er. Some people pile that plate on more than others, don't they? Country buffet real good. Gosh darn, that was good. I hate it. You've got to tip your stolen cap. Sometimes you've got to tip your stolen cap to somebody. I hate it when he has those... We just set it up for him. I just teed him up. Maybe they call back. I want to talk about an indecent proposal. Yeah, you do. There's no amount of money. What if your missus was on board? No, you know that she wouldn't. I'd ruin it.
Well, you're just really not playing along with this. Well, dude, I mean, no, no, no. You know that I think that there's a lot of guys that would say that there's a price. Maybe there's not a price for you, Woods. I don't know, man. I mean, you know, it's not something that would obviously ever present itself, more than likely. What if somebody came and... I don't know. I mean, we don't have a lot of doughs. Why do you want Jamie to cheat on you? I don't. Why is that the only thing you want? So is that all you think about and doodle on your peachy notebook? I wish Jamie would make $10 million for sleeping with another man. If somebody offered you and Jamie a million for one night, would you guys talk about it? Yeah. Get her on the phone. I guarantee you she'd want to talk about it. I guarantee you. Get her on the phone. You wouldn't talk about it? You wouldn't talk about it? No. I would absolutely talk about it. No. I was going to give Jay her number and he has her number. Wait a minute. Sienna, we have to discuss what we mean by talk about it. You mean talk about it meaning we're going to discuss whether or not we think we should do this? Yeah. You be Todd. Yes, I'll be Todd. I wonder what Todd would want to talk about it. Absolutely. Let's say we're married, Sienna. Okay. And this happens. Okay. Please. How would you approach me with this?
someone wants to sleep with me or someone wants to sleep with you. I would say, okay, babe, I have something really weird I want to talk to you about. And I don't know how you're going to feel, but you know, we're in a marriage, so we're going to talk about it. Okay. Someone has approached me and said that they will give me $1 million if I'm with them for one night. And you thought about it? Well, I haven't said yes. I haven't said no. I don't want to do this. But, babe, that's a million dollars. We don't need to worry about money forever. Say five million. Do you want to know something? Yeah. Something just happened. When she even said it, I felt like she cheated on me. Yeah, because she considered it. She didn't just say, no, never. But he would be mad if I didn't. Oh, this is the way I expect the story to be told. Babe, you will never freaking believe what this jackhole offered. And he was serious, babe. He was serious. But I think a lot of people would be like, and you just said no and didn't even talk to me about it. That's a million dollars.
Let's up the ante because a million bucks. It's not that much today, unfortunately. Inflation. Counting for inflation, it was 93. It was a million bucks. Say what? 10 million. 10 million bucks. Whoa. That's a big inflation. All right. Say 5 million. You could make me a billionaire. Wouldn't happen. No way. Never having, like your kids never have to worry about anything. Dude. I'm telling you, dude. I don't have savings. Dude, I would have to talk to Jamie about it. Listen. What you're basically doing is, because you're never going to, it's, you're never going to stay together. No. No, you're not. You're never. You can't. You can't. You can't unequivocally say never. Unequivocally. BS. 150%. Dude. If this happens, you're breaking up. BS, dude. You don't think that there's husbands that have cheated on wives, wives have cheated on husbands, they stay together? Yeah. Every day. Totally. That's an indiscretion. Now, I'm not saying it's right. This is business. Right. And what I'm saying is, is that.
If it is willful, oh, there's no way. But if you both agree, you're both going to regret it. You will. I mean, you know it. I don't know. I mean, money doesn't buy happiness. So that's what's in my mind. And I wouldn't, I don't think I would do it. But I would definitely talk to my husband about it. I would too. I'd talk to Jamie about it. It would be like you cheated on me. Well, and if you felt that way, then I would be like, absolutely, I'm not doing it then. As far as you know. But what if I said, Sienna, what if I said, what if I go, Well, babe, we're crazy. Are you kidding? Of course we have to do this. That'd be like, well, I'm not sure if I'm on board with that. Why, babe? Why? It's a million bucks. What do you mean? Because. Here's some tequila. I'm in love with you. Well, I know, but this is a million bucks. I made a vow. Well, okay, but. I mean, I'm assuming there's protection involved.
Yeah. Obviously. I would rather him be there. Oh, wow. That's a whole different scene. That's a whole different scene. Hold on, Sienna. No, no, no. Now you're talking. Not like part of it, but like just be there. In the other room. I'm not even married to Sienna and I'm nauseous. Did somebody order a pizza? No. But like to know that he was that on board that he would be there. In the other room. You should take notes. You see the... Oh, wow. I wouldn't do it. Hey, Jen, I got $100 in my wallet. There's a millionaire listening right now. He's like, I got $2 million. There's an opportunity in this. Shut up. L.O.B., somebody offers your BFMC, your boyfriend, Matt Commerce, $2 million. Some good-looking cougar. This will set you guys up the rest of your lives. Oh, a good-looking cougar. Cougar. For him. For him. Hell no. No way? Wow. Hell no. Really? Two mil? Hell no. Five. No. Hundred million dollars. Five hundred. Never talk to her again. One night, five hundred million dollars. Five hundred million? Five hundred million. Done. Done. You tell them to go have at it.
You're never going to see her again, yeah. Really? Did that make a difference? It did. $500 million? My God. Two zeros made a difference. I hope it's good. I'd still consider it, though, but I would consider it. $500 million? I know myself. I'm like, you know, I'm like a detective, so I would not be able to let that go forever. I'd be asking questions until we were, you know, in our 80s. Like, so is she. Yeah, how was she? Is she better than me? I would just tell you to watch the videotape. Wow. Oh, boy. I made money off that tape on Vivid Video. What's that word? Explain yourself. Eight complete perverts just went... What's Vivid Video? Everybody knows what Vivid Video is. I've never heard of it.
Sienna, they're the ones that offer famous people money to do sex tapes. They did the Tommy Lee tape. They did the... What's her face? All your favorites. All my favorites. Tila Tequila. Kim Kardashian. Yeah, Kim Kardashian. Paris Paris Hilton. Feast. Woods' favorites. Yeah. His top five. What, man? I know the names of porn companies. Sue me. Yeah, sue me. Jay knows. Jay knows what I'm talking about. M1 Bisquick from Santee. What was the word of the day? Ow. That is correct. Dude, that was some good listening. I missed it. You won a four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld and also the new Street Fighter 4 3D game from Nintendo 3DS. Hang on the line. Hang on. Nintendo. That's right. That's right, Jenny. L.O.B. would consider. Okay, I would consider it. I'm sorry. To my wife, if you're listening, I'd be pushing you out the door for $500 million. Were you able to get Woods' wife on the phone? No, she didn't answer. If it were the other way around, I have a feeling you'd have to start with like $5,000 to Matt. He'd be in consideration. That is not true. Hey, is that a promise? I don't know if that's true. I get my checkbook. Well, you can get him on the phone, too. I get my checkbook right now. But we're not married either, so. Oh, my God.
I wasn't trying to throw a dig out there. I was just saying we're not. So it might change things once we have a vow. Oh, boy. Yeah, sign me up for that. If. I mean, not once. Stop, L.O.B. It's so uncomfortable. I didn't mean when. I meant if. It's so. I'm not trying to be uncomfortable. Why are you guys so weird? L.O.B. has had a boyfriend now for three years. Oh, my God. He has. They are not engaged. And she. will at times take these sort of... I didn't... That was not intentional. That was not intentional, but... I was just saying, like, if. I wasn't saying when. Right. I wasn't... Yeah, I wasn't banking on it, really. Oh, God. God bless. Oh, God. Oh, that's hard to shake. That's hard to shake. I'm just picturing his little...
face right now. I want him and everyone to know I'm not banking on anything. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time. You know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. On FM 94.9. It's almost here. And it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets.
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Hey guys, this is L.O.B. from The Mikey Show, and every week you hear me go on and on about how great Ovation Cell Therapy has been for my hair. Well, here's something that Ovation is doing, and I think that they're amazing for doing this. Ovation is helping support the City of Hopes. Walk for Hope. This is happening Saturday, May 21st, and Ovation is proud to be a San Diego partner with City of Hope's Walk for Hope, which is being presented nationally by Staples. Come on out and join the thousands, that's right, thousands nationwide who are committed to ending women's cancers. This is a cause that is really near and dear to my heart, and I'm so happy to see Ovation a part of it. Learn how Ovation Cell Therapy can work for you. Log on to OvationHair.com or go out and visit the Ovation booth. They're going to be out there. The Walk for Hope. They can answer any questions you have and really just help to inspire you. Go to OvationHair.com and remember to enter FM949 for your special introductory rate because Ovation can work for you. Again, that's OvationHair.com and enter FM949 for that special rate. Seventy years ago, we set out on a journey. What began as a duty to our country became our legacy. Since then, every day brings a new adventure. Our name is written out there in the sand on every road.
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For a limited time, BMW will make your first three payments on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your local BMW center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash CPO for details. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Just one day. Mike and Tom Brady. Lauren. I like it. Why not? You like the arm kit? Yeah, it's manly. Woods. I love the brass. Zienna. Drew Puppets is a classic. And Jay. Yeah, I shaved my legs one time. On FM 94.9. Is OSI a good time or what? Love seeing those stickers on cars. The new Mikey Show sticker. Which, by the way, we will have at the radio station now if you want to get one. If you weren't able to make it out to OSI, you can stop by the radio station. You know who you are. Yeah, and it's like, you know, gosh darn, man. I mean, we have a lot of people that listen to us on the internet and we can't mail. 50 billion, you know. I've been getting a lot of mail requests. What might one do with those mail requests, Mike? You know what? It makes me hurt, sad, or fearful. I don't know which. I don't know which. I'd have to examine it to figure out. It's a good thing. On one hand, it's a good thing because they want to be involved. I know. But why am I angry? Why are you angry? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. We have to do it.
I'll tell you why. Because it puts me in a position. This is why I'm angry. It makes me fearful because I go, gosh darn it, if I don't freaking do this, then you're going to think I'm a bad guy and I'm not. Yep. And I don't want to do that. And you have to say no to somebody that genuinely is supporting you. Is supporting me. But you have to say no because you can't keep up with all the requests. I've gotten like five already. Tell them to send you an envelope, self-addressed stamped envelope. And I'm going to do it. Because that's what I do. Nice. That's what they do. If they want you to do it, just send me an envelope. So fair. What Jay is saying. That's fair. I'll just do it. Will you? You won't. Don't say you will. Now you're going to get a million more emails. I will. You won't. You won't. I will. You guys know me. You know damn well. You'll delegate to Chris. What you do is you say yes. You say yes to people. And I back that up. And then you fall out. No, I don't fall out. And then you go, hey, my friend J. Rose has come in this weekend, bro. Oh, for the love of God. You know, dude. All right, pull the curtain back, clown. Pull it back. It was Easter. Pull it back. Easter. Oh, I'm going to fillet you. I'll tell you what it is. We're going to pull the curtain back real good on Sally Boy over there. Oh, wow. Mike. Oh, sorry, Mike. It is. Woods, he says. I go, hey, Woods, what are you doing for Easter? He says, oh, we don't have any plans.
I go, oh, dude, come over and have dinner with us. Yeah. He goes, done. BS. Stop. I said, I don't know what our plans are. I'll have to let you know. I remember that. And Woods is right. And I can back this up with the fact that later that afternoon, I got a text from Mike going, hey, dude, I really need to know if you're coming because I got to order two more things from the restaurant. And when I left here, one of my best friends in the world from Los Angeles said, hey, dude. Did he? Yes, he did. Did you hang out with him? Yeah. No, you did not. You liar face. You didn't. He did nothing. We laid on the couch. Yeah. But I didn't go to Mike's. But I told him I was going to hang out with J. Rose and the plants fell through. I never heard from him. When he doesn't want to do something, when he's like, I'd rather kick it on the couch, he's always like, hey, my friend J. Rose is coming into town. He was in town. I just didn't see him. Hey, listen. You should just be able to say, I actually just want to lay on the couch. Yes, but he can't do that. We were supposed to have plans and he never called. I was heartbroken too. You're a clown. He can't. Woods can't say no. He can say yes. Which is why I'll be in here on Saturday mailing out stickers. Real good. Woods doesn't want to hurt your feelings though, Mike, because you take it personally and people don't come over. Yeah, see.
You do. Yeah, you do. See? You have to learn to not take it personally. I don't. You do. You do. If I said, Mike, you want to come over to our house? And you would be like, no, that's so far. I don't want to. And then you'd feel, you know, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. But it's not a big deal. It's okay. It's okay. You have to know that if we don't come over, we still love you. I know. But then that's why I say, then don't come over. And then everybody goes, why are you being weird? You are being weird. You are being weird. You're so weird about it. You're so weird about it. Just throw out the invite and hey, we don't want to come. We don't come. It's our loss. Absolutely. What's the matter? Just know that we love you. We're not going to start our own show. Now, in defense to me. The last show said, hey, just so you know, we'll never start our own show. Did they say those exact words? No, they didn't. It was my bad. They didn't. You should have asked them if they were going to go off and do something like that. I know it. It's like when you get married, you should say, now you're never going to cheat on me, right? And they could be like, you never asked. Yeah. Like Jesse James. She never asked.
So what was I going to do? I was like, you're cool, dude. You're cool, but then I met Kat Von D and she was like, hey, do you want me to take off your clothes and do things to you? And what was I supposed to do? Be like, no, it's not gay. She's cooler than you anyway. I mean, you're cool. She's like. Like cooler. Like rad cool. She's cool in like ways that. You won't do. Oh. Like, cool. Not do, but cool. Uh-huh. Like, cool. Do I ever do that? Weird. Jinx. What if I do this instead? Oh, good. A silent intro. Nothing like it. Nothing like it, huh? Every day when I'm making the music, man. Can't play that. Silent intro. This one just reaches out and grabs you. Right off the bat. Yeah. From the get-go. Oh, eventually it does. Eventually it does. Hey, L.O.B. said lame sauce this weekend. So we're making progress. Yeah. No. Just came out. It's not lame sauce to say lame sauce. That is. No. As soon as I said it, I tried to shove it back in. That's it. Okay. Well, that's perfect. I wish I would have met you. Of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Oh, stop it.
Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What's next? Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9. What are you doing? Well, TV, I was called in to reset your cable box. But it's an all-new Fox Monday. I know. But first, when House discovers a drug that could cure him. Hasn't even gone through safety trials. He takes matters into his own hands. Okay, that's intense. Then, on part one of the stunning Chicago Code season finale, the battle between corruption and justice... The state's attorney has given us 24 hours. ...is about to take a shocking turn. Tell me what is going on, or I will shoot you in the heart. Wow, I'm heading home to watch Fox Monday. Good human. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then... Free gas makes you dance. Pump it free with... Fox 5 Free Gas. Yep, free gas. Just watch Fox 5 News at 10 every night. Scan the code or go online for your chance to win a $100 gas card. Fox 5 Free Gas, tonight after Fox on Fox 5 San Diego. Dude, what happened last night? I can't find my Super Big Gulp cup. What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup. All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven.
But what happened after that? Hey, I think we got kidnapped by a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah, and they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Hola, mi amigos. No way, he's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right, and he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait, didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah, I hate that monkey. Hey, he sold a cup! Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today, only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie, The Hangover Part 2, in theaters May 26th. At Vons, we believe the standards you live by should be the ones you eat by. Honesty, integrity, and real. That's why we developed Open Nature, a new line of great-tasting food that's 100% natural, and only at Vons. Open Nature products are made only with 100% natural ingredients. No added hormones, no antibiotics, no artificial ingredients. That means the great taste comes from the food itself. You'll find Open Nature chicken and sausage, yogurt and ice cream, breads and refrigerated pastas. And since they're at Vons, you can count on them being well within your budget. This week with Vons Club, you can pick up Open Nature boneless, skinless chicken breasts for only $4.99 a pound. Open Nature breads are only $1.99 each.
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And the folks at McDonald's drop by the studio. With the new jalapeno cheddar McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and the new cheddar onion McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and from the looks of these beauties, $1.49 is a real deal. I see your jalapeno cheddar McChicken has melted white cheddar, and is that hot jalapeno salsa? Oh, wow, spicy. I did not see that coming, McDonald's. Oh, and the grilled onions on this cheddar onion McChicken are incredible big cheesy taste. Hey, switch with me. I like a take-charge man. I like a lady who's spicy. Cut to commercial. McDonald's new spicy jalapeno cheddar McChicken and savory cheddar onion McChicken. The simple joy of cheesy deliciousness with spicy jalapeno salsa or grilled onions. Just a buck forty nine each. That was so tasty. You got a little cheese on here. That's not cheese. It's an onion. Price and participation may vary. Try McDonald's new frozen strawberry lemonade from McCafe. Tangy frozen lemonade mixed with a sweet strawberry swirl is a refreshing icy treat. New frozen strawberry lemonade starting at just $1.69 now at McDonald's. The thing about water is that it all looks like water, and it all feels like water. So it's no surprise when it comes to the water we drink. Some folks don't think there's a difference. We believe if you start with something better, you get something better. That's why every drop of Arrowhead 100% mountain spring water comes from carefully selected sources in snow-capped mountains, a tradition that started in 1894. You see, only in places where the elements are just right.
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or visit SoCalMB.com. Hey, Padres fans, your Padres are taking on the American League Seattle Mariners Friday, May 20th at 7.05 p.m. After the game, you can enjoy a spectacular fireworks show. Plus, right now, you can save $5 off every ticket you buy at Padres.com. So don't wait. Get your tickets today. Miller Lite is proud to once again be presenting FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion at the Oceanside Pier on June 5th. Great beer, great responsibility. Triple hops brewed Miller Lite. Tastes greatness. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. If being nude at your home is a nudist, I'm a nudist. Lauren. I did a lot of reading last night. Woods. I am the grill master. I can grill anything. Sienna. I'm not the neatest person in my house. Todd's definitely more neat than I am, but I wouldn't say I'm a slob. And Jay. I'll come over and help you cut a trench of concrete. On FM 94.9. I would have changed the lyric to Avocad. The corner of first and Avocad? Yes. So it says. No, it says Avocad, but I would have said Avocad. Avocad. I just would have changed the song. Oh, wow. I'm sorry. I'm just kidding. I like that. It's good. I like their first record. It's really good.
The early stuff, the EPs that nobody's heard but me. I like the deep track. Yes, the deep cuts, I love these. Really the best way to say it. Avocado. This is a jam. So, while Osama Bin Laden was alive, his wife decided to stay with him. Yes. Well, actually, before the 9-11 attacks, he had five wives and he gave them the option to leave him and leave Afghanistan. And this one particular wife, his Yamini bride, who is 29 right now, she decided that she was going to stay by him no matter what, because her mother was divorced or is divorced and her social standing is, you know, not as great now because of it. And so she said, no matter what, I'm going to stay with him.
they remember her always saying that she wanted to go down in history. You know, it's cool and everything, but I feel like the only reason you're doing it is because you would be social outcast if you don't stay. Well, I mean, I didn't really sign up for all this. Yeah, I know, but you're staying. Through thick and thin, better or worse. The only reason you're staying, though, is because if you don't, you'd be social outcast. Well, that's not the only reason. What else? You make a mean barbecue. I do, but that's neither. That is neither hair nor hide. I think it's here nor there. Okay. Or hide nor hair. It's neither hide nor hair. You're dealing with English idioms. Well, anyway, man. Not to be confused with English idiots like Tony Blair. Listen, I want you to stay with me because you dig me. Not because... What does it matter to you, really? I mean, at the end of the day... Yeah, I have the girl, but what if I'm golfing with my friends and they go,
Hey, like they're busting my balls and they say to me, hey, you know, the only reason she stay with you is because if she broke up with you, everybody would not want to be with her because her whole family divorce and everything. Well, that's what you do. You tell them, you say, keep your eyes on your own paper. Yeah. That's easy for you to say not on the back nine. Yeah. I'm not allowed on the back nine. That ain't real life. That's not real life. Real life is played on the back nine with your boys. Okay. After a couple of beers. And then they go. I wouldn't know, really. Just been in this compound. Yeah. For a year. Oh. Five years, actually. Oh, sorry. I guess all the diamonds and the jewels and the direct TV. Yeah, I wouldn't know what they look like in the light of day. No, you wouldn't. Oh, but I don't see you complaining about the will that leave you 50 gajillion dollars. No, no. Okay, because you're married to a prince. Who comes from Saudi Arabia and has a million of money. Easy, Jason Priestley. I want to know why that guy had five wives. Isn't one just more than a lot of dudes can handle? Some sort of custom, I'm sure. Five. Five broads nagging at you to fold the laundry. Her family was paid $5,000 for her to marry him. I wonder how different our society would be.
Can you imagine us? What would it be like? Can you imagine me coming in with five wives? Like, you know me, how lazy I am. I'd be like, oh my God, I'm so glad to be back to work. Five broads all day. Whatever, you wouldn't have to do anything. That's true. They would do it all. My wife pretty much handles all the business anyway, but five, five. What would it be like? She's 29 now, so she was 18 when they got married. There's a show about it, like on HBO. Big Love. Big Love. But isn't there another one called Something Sisters? Like a reality show. Sister Wives. I watch it. It's a reality show, right? Yeah, they are. About polygamists? Uh-huh. Okay, I have a question. Yeah. Because you watch it. Yes, I do. Do those chicks get jealous? They do. They do at times. Do any of them really love the dude? Yeah, they all do. They all love him? Yeah. They're jealous. How do they not get all upset that they're all sleeping with him? Well, when the season started, they're on their second season now, but the first season they started because the man, the main guy, had three wives, and there was years in between each marriage, and now there was like...
15 years between the third wife and then now he has a fourth wife they all live together they were courting each other uh yeah for the most part they have um one big house and there's like different sections of the house and then this new wife the fourth wife lives down the street and so he goes from place to place how did he not get arrested i thought that was against the law yeah well he got in trouble he was in trouble because of the show and there was a lot of times when yeah He had to go to jail and he was questioned all the time. So the women that have been married to him a long time, they're upset. They get jealous at times, but they say that they love each other and all of them wanted sister wives. Yeah. So they all wanted to be in a polygamist relationship. But it's got to hurt that he's courting and they're seeing the courtship. Yes. They're like, I don't have that anymore. Right. And especially like the third wife thought that she was going to be the last. Right. And so they all were like, OK, there's three of us. That's good. And then a fourth one came along. And they're like, wait, what? Were we not good enough? I thought there was only going to be three. Now all of a sudden you're dating someone else.
And it hurts. Yeah. And all the kids, they have like 20 kids between all four wives. And so they all like love each other and play. Will he stay gone for days at a time or does he go for a night and come back? It's like a night and come back and then he goes to the next wife's house and then they rotate and he'll take vacations with one wife individually. Like he does get his alone time and their romantic time. Do they get along with each other, the wives? Really well. Yeah, there's definitely fights. It's like they're really sisters. There's fights, but they like genuinely there's a love there for each other. That is so crazy. Yeah, it's nuts. I've cried during a few episodes. How did you guys keep talking? It was fascinating to me. Why? What? You didn't hear me too. Not in here. I block him out. Listen, you know, he's a clown. He's a sophomore, being immature, whatever. What's this on? All fours looking like he's going to vomit from laughing so hard. Oh, my God. That got me the most I've ever gotten in my life. I was like, stay in the zone. Just keep talking to Mike. Just look in his eyes. I was like, okay. Okay, I'm going to answer all these seriously. Hey.
Big breaking news, Rebecca Black, the girl that wrote the worst song in the world, the Friday song, is not pregnant. Okay, these rumors were on CNN that she was pregnant, 16 years old. She's like 14 or something. Yes, and she's 16, I believe. No, maybe, yeah, you're 14, you're right. And she tweeted, I thought it was May 15th, not April Fool's Day. I'm absolutely not pregnant. Not pregnant like people thought. Yeah, she's a young girl. I'm not dating a statutory rapist. And I don't have a baby in my stomach. No bun in the oven. Oh, yeah. Oh, somebody is pregnant, though. Yeah. Jenna Fisher from The Office. She's 37 years old. She and her husband Lee Kirk got married last July, and now they've just announced that she is pregnant. Nice. Expecting their first child. Life imitates art. Yeah. Yeah. Happy birthday. Their wedding was officiated by Jeff Probst. The survivor. The survivor. Welcome to this wedding. Today, one person will marry another person. At the end of today, there will be matrimony.
The question is, at what point will they say, I do? Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? And do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? When we come back, we'll find out. By the way, concerning Jenna Fisher, the chick that played Pam, getting married. No, no, no, no, no. Sorry, sorry, sorry. My brain went somewhere else. This is what I want to talk about. Kings of Leon? Yes. Okay, wait, wait, though. The guy got married, the front man. Caleb. Caleb Falwell. He married Victoria's Secret model. Lily Aldridge. Okay. Woods saw the storytellers, okay, for Kings of Leon. This is where they get on stage and they tell the story of where the song came from. Yep. Might have cried. What?
Now, I watched the whole thing. You watched the whole thing. Maybe we had different impressions. Well, first of all, the music is incredible. And they were great. They were great. I thought they were really, really good. I got the impression that his bandmates were looking at him like he was a douchebag. Now, I know what you're talking about. They're brothers and cousins. They're all related. Every time he told a story, they were like, they couldn't be more. detached from the story, and they couldn't be more like, it was almost like they were blowing their eyes. There's a documentary that's making the rounds that's going to come out about Kings of Leon, and apparently there's a scene in the documentary where one of the brothers is screaming at Caleb about his ego, basically, and just saying, if it wasn't for us, you would be nothing, you wouldn't be here without us, but it's like... He goes, we effing made you, you little bastard. It's heavy.
egos. What? Was his sex really on fire? I mean, did they explain that? He does the same bit over and over and over with that song. Well, I did get the feeling during this thing. I saw one time they looked at each other. Two of the brothers, they go, they looked at each other like with a glance like, oh, Caleb's just at it again. Yeah. But he's a front man. Front man syndrome. Yeah, front man syndrome. LSD, lead singer's disease. They all have it. They all have it. They all got it. Doesn't ever seem to go away once you have it. I know. It's terminal. There's no cure. Except for gold records. He did this one thing where he's telling a story about a song from the new record, Immortals. The Immortals. My favorite song. And he's telling the story about it. And I thought to myself as he's telling the story, I thought, oh man, I wouldn't say that out loud. He goes, yeah, you know, I went and had lunch with a friend of mine. And he shared something with me that was really private. And he just, you know, I was blown away that he had the courage to tell me what he told me. But that part was fine. I'm like, oh, that's cool. And I went home. I'm just looking at myself in the mirror. I'm just staring at myself. And I'm just saying, it is. He said, I looked at myself in the mirror. And then I came up with the lyric.
Find out what you are face to face when he's staring at himself. Look at myself in the mirror. I did Blue Steel a couple times. You know he did. I thought I was really, really ridiculously good looking. Really, dude? Really? I'm just staring. You're crossing the line right now. Woods. You're crossing the line. Narcissistic. Weird. Fine. Weird, narcissistic. Great singer. Great songwriter. He's agreed. Yeah. Yeah. Narcissist. And as he's telling this story, the other guys in the band, this is the other guys in the band. They're leaning on the amp. Yeah, literally. They're leaning on the amp. Waiting for the finish. Looking, Mikey has a very bored look on his face. And I was like, it was so uncomfortable. You don't worry about them. But they're good, man. They're good. That Storytellers was great. When they play, it's magic. But oh my gosh, with that lead singer guy. You don't worry about it. Maybe lose yourself. You don't worry about it. That lead singer guy. You're not in the band. Take it personally. I'm in the fan club. I wonder if it was one guy that wanted to stop playing when the pigeons started to poop. Or just one. As I said, the first one's free, the next one goes in your mouth. It was a bass player. It was a bass player? Jared. Oh, so Caleb was willing to keep playing. Yeah, poop hit him in the mouth, and he's like, we're done. Yeah, I think it had happened a few times, and they were like, this is unsanitary. This is gnarly. It kept happening.
The other bands pulled it off. Grab a couple umbrellas or something. It's easy to play the guitar with an umbrella on your hand. It's really easy. I think they would have gotten called divas if they had guys standing over them holding umbrellas. They could have put the umbrella in their mic stand. To wit, they did come back to St. Louis and do a free show. The other bands handled it. Did they? They wore umbrella hats. They did. They came back and did a free show for the people of St. Louis. They made it right. You don't worry about them. Probably. You don't worry about it. Hillary, how you doing? I got pooped on so many times at OSI, and I stayed on that. That's right. She stayed there. Those pigeons were pooping all over her, and she stayed there like a champion. That's what you got to do sometimes. One time she looked up at him. She was like, I don't care what you poop on. I'm not leaving. That's right. I'm here for the duration.
That was really fun, by the way. It was awesome. Thank you. OSI was a blast. You were great, Hill. Oh, you guys. I was like, am I on the mic too much? Because I kept going. No, it was great. It was rad. It was so fun. It was fun. I've never seen that many people show up for a radio promotion. It was so fun. It was so cool. The whole three hours, too. The constant line. That was crazy. Oh, man. I love M1s. Met so many nice people. Yeah. I grabbed Manchester Orchestra, the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs. I grabbed the Dead Weather and the new Foo Fighters record, new Death Cab for Cutie. Right on. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely and talented Hillary is up next. And we will come back here tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. We'll look ourselves in the mirror. That's right. We'll see you tomorrow morning. Mikey shows up late.