The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/17/11
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
arnold schwarzenegger affairjames fry memoir controversyjingle bells world recordbathtub drowning caseadele weight discussionvisor vs hatindependence jam promotionpork chop fightarnold schwarzeneggerjames fryoprahjingle bells
The show opened with Mikey and Woods breaking down Arnold Schwarzenegger’s revelation of an affair with his housekeeper and the resulting split from Maria Shriver. They then turned to James Fry’s controversial Oprah appearance, where he admitted fabricating his memoir and discussed his new book portraying Jesus as a drug addict. Later segments included a lighthearted brainstorm about setting a jingle‑bell‑on‑cars world record, a serious discussion of a Dateline bathtub‑drowning case and its legal twists, a debate about Adele’s weight and whether she should stop eating, and a playful argument over visors versus hats for sun protection.
What happened, in order
Arnold Affair Reveal
Mikey and Woods discuss Arnold Schwarzenegger's shocking announcement that he fathered a child with a longtime household staff member, leading to his separation from Maria Shriver.
Affair Details
They elaborate on the affair's timeline, the housekeeper's 20-year employment, and the child's age and background.
James Fry Oprah Ambush
Mikey plays audio of James Fry's return to Oprah's show where he confronts being ambushed after his memoir A Million Little Pieces was exposed as fabricated.
James Fry on Gail and Dreams
James Fry admits he once dreamed about Gail and Ashton Kutcher together and reveals he wrote a book depicting Gail as a drug addict and lesbian.
Jingle Bells World Record Idea
The crew jokes about attempting to break a world record for jingle bells attached to cars as a summer‑themed stunt.
Bathtub Drowning Dateline Story
They recount a Dateline NBC episode about a man accused of drowning his wife in a bathtub, noting the lack of motive and the bizarre jury experiments.
Visor vs Hat Discussion
Mikey, Woods and Jay argue over whether visors or hats are better for sun protection, with Woods defending visors and Jay calling them dorky.
Adele Weight Debate
The hosts discuss Adele’s statement that she won’t stop eating, debating whether her weight is healthy and commenting on her curvy figure.
People mentioned
mikeywoodslauren obriensiennajayrebeccaarnold schwarzeneggermaria shriverjames fryoprah winfreydemora smithdominique strauss-kahnroger goodelladele
38,817 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
One Nation. And that's why we invite you to call us. 5701949 is the number. You are listening to The Mikey Show. And if you're new to the frequency here, or if you're new to The Mikey Show, or even new to San Diego, I'm the host of The Mikey Show. I'm 40 years of age. And my name is Mike, but go by Mikey on the radio. I am... If you're just listening for the first time, you're going, well, what is this guy all about? I want tacos and burritos. You know, that's one way to kind of know a little bit about who I am. I was not ready for that. It's one way to know who I am. You know, I like tacos and burritos. I am five foot, five and a half. I'm just being honest with you. I mean, listen, if anybody says that they're 5'11", they're not.
And the only reason I say that is because if they were 5'11", they'd say they were 6 feet tall. So they're pushing it at 5'11". What they really are is they're 5'9". I have a shaved head. I shave it because I've been losing my hair since I was in my early 20s in the front. And so I didn't want to have a cul-de-sac. And I was like, come on with this. So I shaved it. About a decade ago. And it made sense and it still does. Looks real good. Thank you. You look, no offense, you look strange with hair. Yeah. Stranger. You look good with the bald hair. It doesn't look right. It doesn't look right. This is the right thing to do. I knew you with hair years ago. Makes you look tough. Yeah. Well, thank you, Jay. And then also, another thing to know about me is I am a man of faith. It's like the biggest thing in my life. Yes. Woodsy is 35.
And he's a guy's guy. He is, if there were a, you know, rock star on the show. Oh, boy. I'm being serious. I would say it would be Woods. I don't want to be painted with that brush. All right. Wow. I was. Well, I didn't mean it like that. I was a lot more grounded. I'm a lot more grounded. No, no, no. I don't mean it in a way like that you're a, you know, coke snorting. Like slamming heroin or anything. No, no, no. I mean that. You know, I was looking at pictures of OSI, and I told Dan, the guy that took the pictures, you know, we're putting together a gallery. I said, I want a lot of Jay, Sienna, Woods, and LLB. You guys are very good-looking. Oh, thank you. You're very good-looking people. And I want a lot of that on there because I want to showcase that. I said, Woods looks like a rock star on there. A fat rock star. You know, you... Belushi-esque. Woods is being very self-deprecating, but the truth is he's lost weight. You don't see it. We do. We've all told you. You've lost some weight. Lauren O'Brien, L-O-B, is 30 years of age, and it takes a while to get to know her. In the very beginning, she'll be a little bit guarded, and then after you know her a while, then you know her. You really do know her. It takes a while, though. I've known her now.
Year and a half. But I feel like I know you pretty good. I think so. And care for her a lot. I think we all do. Thank you. Very much. Yes. She's pretty foxy, too. She's pretty foxy. She's a foxy girl. Thanks, bud. Bam. How does that make you feel? Does it make you feel uncomfortable that the men that you work with think that you're foxy? No, because I think it's a nicety. It isn't. I don't think they really think that. Does that make you uncomfortable? I want to know if this makes you uncomfortable. We're not saying it to be nice. That should make you a tad bit uncomfortable. I still don't believe you, but I thank you. I'm 30. I'm going to tell you something. I don't mean this to come off as unkind. No one in the room is being nice to you when they say, you're foxy. Okay. Because the truth of the matter is, you're foxy. Now, don't let that make you think that we are in any way dreaming things up. And we're not harassing you by any stretch. And we're not harassing you. I can't. We're not harassing you. But, you know, we're just telling you. You're a foxy girl. You know, all right? Still got it. Yep. Still got it, kid. Brush my shoulders off. Yeah.
Sienna is foxy. Sienna's foxy, too. We got a couple of foxy. I used to be. Oh, don't even. I feel the same way. I used to be. I can't even say. I'm going to hang out with these two smoking hotties. That's right, Charlie Sheen. That is a true story. It's accurate. True fact. I gave all of my good looks to Sage, and now they're gone. They're not gone. They're not up. Shut up. Stop. Move forward. It's okay, though. She's our news girl. She's 26. Our producer is Jay. Speaking of Foxy. Speaking of Foxy. Silver Fox. What's happening? Hot stuff. He's 47. And he's man about town. The lady's still digging, man. Yes, they do. They really do. I've seen it. They really do. I've seen it in person. I have too. I've seen it to where if he wasn't a married man, he would have been having intercourse with a girl that he met on the beach that day. Literally on the beach. Literally. Don't say this stuff. There's no question he could have this. Makes the wife feel uncomfortable at home. Yes. She's asleep. No, don't do that. Is she asleep right now, Jay? For another 20 minutes. Yeah. Let's go crazy. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Our phone screener is Chris. It's Kroff. It's Kroff. And he is such a kind-hearted, sweet kid. A really good kid. Oh, that hoe is big. All right, so word of the day is Barracuda. And so sometime between now and 10 o'clock.
I will say the word barracuda, but I will do it in a very clever and crafty way. I'll try to do it in a way that you don't even hear me say it. You got me yesterday, pal. Yeah. And then you'd be caller number nine, and I'll give you SeaWorld tickets. A lot of them. Four. So you can take three of your friends, and I'll also give you a Street Fighter 4 3D game from Nintendo. This is the big news today. As you're waking up today, the big news is... Arnold Schwarzenegger. What's the deal, Sienna? He had a very shocking announcement yesterday that he, the reason for the divorce is that he fathered a child with a member of his household staff. Which I gotta think is like a maid or a nanny or somebody that lived in the house. Yes. Now, this happened, the affair, about 10 years ago, he said. However, it's never been public knowledge. It's before he came governor. He told Maria about this a week before they made the big announcement. She moved out of their house. A week? Wait, wait, wait, wait. May 9th, they announced the separation publicly. Got it. But she knew beforehand and had moved out right when she found out about this fathering of a child. Wow. It must have been about to come out. Yeah. Otherwise, I can't imagine that he would just.
Tell her after 10 years. Well, yeah, he's taking full responsibility. Well, what am I supposed to do? He released a statement to the Times, and he said, I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses, and I take full responsibility for the hurt I've caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children, and my family. I'm truly sorry. She worked for them for 20 years. 20 years. She retired in January. So she retired just before it came out. Can you imagine? I'm sure that was planned. Do we know how old? How old she is? No. It doesn't say anything about her. 73. But there wasn't. Oh, gosh. Prime. But they had to, like Maria Shriver and all their kids for the past 10 years have known this as their housekeeper's kid. Oh, my gosh. Meanwhile. Well, the housekeeper was married. It's their brother. It's their brother or sister. Oh, my gosh. And Maria Shire was probably so sweet to that kid. Oh, of course. You couldn't recognize that he was Arnold's son. He was lifting. Walking around in the garage doing bicep curls. I don't even know if it's a son or a daughter. That four-year-old just lifted our Volkswagen. That's so cute. The four-year-old has an Austrian accent. Yeah. The little kid's like, I'm so hungry.
Apparently, this woman was interviewed, though, and don't know her name, don't know what her role was in the house, but she did say that the father of her child was to another man, her husband at the time, and this was right before Arnold Schwarzenegger came out and told the truth. So now the Times went to this woman and said, look, look, Arnold said this, and she's like, no comment, no comment, I'm not commenting, because now we know that she was even married, too. So it was this really sneaky affair, and God knows how long it lasted. Well, then it must have. OK, because my first thought was, well, maybe she was threatening him saying I'm going to tell. Well, sounds like that's not the case. So it sounds like somebody got a hold of it and knew. Yeah. Unless the other option is that Arnold, his conscience got the best of him and he said, I'm going to tell her. But I don't know. Imagine having that baggage running for governor of the state of California, having that baggage in the back of your mind, knowing. what you know. Sweating it out? When you run for public office, it doesn't matter if you're running for Parks and Rec, Chairman of Escondido.
They're going to dig on you. They're going to find something. That's why I could never be in politics. He probably paid that woman off like you wouldn't believe because if that had come out, she could have easily said something. Well, no, no, no. I mean, I don't think he had to pay her off because it sounds like she didn't want anybody to know either she was a married woman. Yeah, that's true. And it sounds like she's as embarrassed about it as he is. So it's not one of those cases where the woman's like... Sorry, pal. I'm taking this thing to the New York Post. I want some money. Somebody knew. Somebody knew. Somebody knew or maybe somebody saw, you know, a 10-year-old lifting a giraffe. Yeah, that was literally... Benching 350. Benching 350 and went, that's so odd that that woman that works with Arnold Schwarzenegger, that her 10-year-old son can lift a giraffe with one hand. It must have been fate that she was brought to such a... Strong family. A family that genetically is so physically strong. It's a weird connection. She's no longer married though now. So maybe now that she's free and clear from her marriage, maybe now that's why Arnold has to come out with it. Jay makes a great point. Poor kid. I mean, just having his whole life just thrown open like this. Awful. The dad he's known all his life is now not his dad. He finds out his dad's Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's bad enough. Who probably this whole time has been like,
Hey, Steve. Hi. Yeah. Nice to see you. I love you. That's it. Hey, little guy. Hey, little one. Wow. Bye-bye. Not hanging. Yeah. Get. Get. Yeah. Don't stand next to me. Ever. All right. Hey, it's nice to see you, little guy. Hit the brakes, pal. Get as far away as possible. That's kind of an Arabic accent there. Stop whining. Stop whining. Duh. Well, I mean, I don't care if you whine because I don't really have any part of your upbringing. So if you're going to whine, I hope your father, whoever he is, you know, tells you to stop the whining. And your mother, boy, she's a wonderful woman. Well, it's nice to see you guys. Merry Christmas. I don't know whether to get you a gift because I don't know the protocol. Do you get? The child of an employee gift? I got my children a gift. Dad, why'd you set up a college fund for that housekeeper's kid? It was a gift. Why? Well, you know, the gifts, you want to give something to someone. I got roller skates. Oh, yeah. Well, easily explainable. But right now, I got to hit the gym. Wow, man. Crazy. What a revelation.
Wow. He's so upset in there, Sean. First thing I saw this morning, man, a picture of him crying. Deservedly so. Yeah, I mean, it just makes me feel bad when people can't get out of their own way. Even though he did something terrible, my heart still hurts for him. Yeah. Because he seems remorseful. Unlike Jesse James, who's like, what? She's a B, man. Glad to be out of it. She's an actress, man. Yeah. She's cool, but her friends are so phony. Stupid Hollywood. What's going on with the NFL, Wizzy? The NFL is just awesome. It's awesome. Oh, boy. The lockout is going to remain in place at least until June. That's what came out yesterday. The Players Association and the league were in mediation their fifth day of court-ordered mediation yesterday. Then it came out that the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said the lockout is going to stay in effect until a full appeal is heard on whether or not it is legal. So that's pushed everything back to at least the first week of June, a couple weeks away. But, man, it's...
You know, there's no end in sight. You know, there's no end in sight. And Roger Goodell, who's the commissioner of the NFL, has actually taken to the phones, which I thought was pretty cool. He is doing conference calls with a lot of season ticket holders from different teams around the country. Like yesterday, he was talking to the Buffalo Bills season ticket holders, answering their questions, talking to them, walking them through the whole thing and just saying, listen, at the end of the day, they need to get in the room and knock this thing out. This is probably what that sounded like. Hello, is Mario Esqueves? Esqueves? Esqueves? Esqueves? Esqueves? Sí, soy Mario. Hello, Mario. This is Roger Goodell calling from the NFL's office. Roger Goodell? Roger Goodell? Yeah, is this Mario? Sí, sí. Do you speak English, Mario? Yeah, a little bit. Mario, sorry to bother you at home. No problem. I just wanted to tell you that the season, the season for the NFL this year. Oh, the football season. Yeah, we want it to happen. And I know that you're a Bills season ticket holder. Yeah, unfortunately. Yep. And so I just want you to know that, you know what? I can't even remember. What was I calling you about? I have no idea. I was trying to watch The Voice.
Blowing my spot up here. Is that the thing with the... Yeah, you know that. CeeLo Green and the country guy. Right, right, right. And the blonde. The thing, yeah. The deal. Yeah, we want the season to happen. Don't know if it will. All right. And hopefully it does. Fine by me. I don't know why I'm making these calls. Can't somebody else make these calls? Hey, you got nothing better to do? Imagine that. Yeah. It's pretty crazy, man. Is it Pattinson? Pattison. Robert? You know how it is when people call, they don't know how to say your name right. Oh yeah, that's the best. You know it's a telemarketer. Can I speak to Todd Ferrar? We get Ferrar a lot. Is this Mrs. Ferrar? Is this Mrs. Ferrar? Can I speak to the lady of the house? Yes, this is she. That's the bit. That's the bit I love. Hi, is this...
Is this Mrs. Farrar? Yeah, it's Farrar. Yes. Like Ferrari? Exactly. Is Todd Farrar home? He's not. And he's not going to be. So stop calling. He's not going to be. I wonder if he leaves messages. Goodell? Yeah. Maybe. I wonder if he has like a fun line where he's like, Goodell, mate. Oh, wow. So stupid. Goodell, mate. This is Roger Goodell calling from the NFL. Goodell, mate. And sorry I missed you. Just want you to know, doing everything we can. Bye. I'm out fast like a Goodell. That's right. Like a lion chasing a Goodell. The interesting thing that I just read is that he is directing blame for this impasse that they're at. He's directing the blame at the Players Association and Demora Smith. So Mike and I talked a little bit off air this morning of who would you side with if you're the commissioner? And we both kind of agreed that you'd side with the players so you didn't look like a big jerk. Like a big corporate jerk. Yeah, like the suit, right? You want to be the man of the people. You're with the players. You just want to see them on the field, which is the players' whole bit. Hey, we just want to play football, do you? You also want $707 million of this TV revenue, which, fine, have at it. But he's...
basically assigning blame to Demora Smith, who's the head of the Players Association. And I agree with him. Yeah. I think, personally, I believe, this is what I believe, that Demora Smith knew we weren't going to play football. Oh, yeah. I agree with that. He knew it a year ago. Oh, yeah. A year ago, Demora Smith said, we're not playing football. Yeah. And the reason that we're, well, this is what I believe. I believe he went, if we get everything we want, and what we're asking for is a lot. If we get everything we want, we'll gladly play football. But if we don't get everything we want, we're not playing. And we're getting everything we want. We'll only not get a couple of fake things we make up that we want. Right. Well, we're going to ask for the moon. Yeah. See what we get. We'll take the world, but we'll ask for the moon and the world. Right. That's a great, that's negotiation. One on one. It's just, it's such a bummer because here we are in the middle of May.
You know, essentially June, July, about 90 days away from, you know, when things start kicking off football-wise, something that we're all really excited about. And it just doesn't seem like there's any end in sight. Real quickly, yesterday we mentioned that this guy from France, who's the head of the international... Monetary fund. Monetary fund. Who knows? Very powerful, powerful man over in France. His name is Dominique Strauss-Kahn, and he is facing charges right now that he sexually assaulted and tried to rape a maid who came in to clean his room at a Manhattan hotel on Saturday afternoon. So once the maid luckily was able to escape, she went downstairs. They called the police. And before police arrived, he left and was then found on a plane going back to France. The plane was stopped. And right now he is in New York. He's at New York City's Rikers Island prison. Oh, wow. And yesterday was his arraignment where he was denied bail. Now, I was talking to my husband about this last night. And because this is such a powerful guy, he thought that this guy is not going to be charged because.
He has diplomatic immunity, but he does not have diplomatic immunity because he was actually in New York on personal business, and he was paying his own way. The reason he was in New York was so he could have lunch with his daughter who's studying in New York. So he came back just for one night to see her. This happened with the maid the next day before he was supposed to be headed to the airport. Oh, wow. So he's in trouble. Imagine if he had made it back to France. He would have been fine. Ask Roman Polanski. Yeah, Roman Polanski raped a statutory rape to 13-year-old girl. Went to France. He was not extradited. Won an Oscar. Yeah. And then Donald Trump said this yesterday. I've decided that we are going to continue onward with Celebrity Apprentice. We're going to continue making lots and lots of money for charity. I will not be running for president as much as I'd like to. And I want to thank everybody very much. Thank you very much. It was me in the audience there. Don't you think the timing's kind of crazy, though? Because just the day before, NBC announced that Celebrity Apprentice would go on with or without him. So he's like, what, they're going to go on without me? No. They can't go on without me? Can't have that. Woods, did you watch James Fry yesterday? Parts of it, yeah. On Oprah? Yeah. Riveting. James Fry.
The dude that wrote that book, A Million Little Pieces. And people loved that book. Woods loved that book. I love everything he's written. My wife loved A Million Little Pieces. It was a really, really extraordinarily popular book. Changed pop culture. It was so popular. And Oprah was instrumental in making it popular. Well... it was revealed that it wasn't really a true memoir, that James Fry had actually embellished or made up large portions of this so-called memoir of his. And so she invited him back on the show to discuss it, and he thought he was coming on to just discuss it, and what she was actually doing is ambushing him to, you know, humiliate him. And so this was years ago, about four years ago. Well, he made a return trip to the show yesterday because she's going off the air. And they talked about the confrontation and all of that stuff. So we'll play audio from it next. The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. That was a half an inch away from being the greatest thing I've ever seen. Call Mikey now. 570-1949. Does anyone want to explain why the cab driver's in the backseat? Or shoot him a text? 949mikey at gmail.com. The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9. Fox Tuesday. There are just two new episodes of Glee.
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Peter considers himself the smartphone king. Right now, he's videoing himself as he ziplines over Fremont Street in Vegas while emailing his mom about the meal he just had in the Cosmopolitan's China Poblano and simultaneously tweeting his followers a pic of the outfit he just scored at the only Tom Ford store on the West Coast. Peter's phone is smart, but his status updates are even smarter. I like to keep it interesting. Find your own way to Vegas at VisitLasVegas.com. Paid for by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. Cue a grill. Cue the over-enthusiastic chef with the lighter fluid. Cue the steaks, breasts, thighs. Cue the amigos bearing generous libations. Cue the fumbled bottle of Jose Cuervo. Cue the crowd's gasp. Cue the slow-motion dive. Cue the catch. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Special Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Hugh Blind Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the trademark owner. I'm your overly optimistic husband who assured you we had enough gas to make it home. Apparently, the power of positive thinking is far less valuable than the power of gasoline. Hope you have Good Hands Roadside Assistance. Introducing Good Hands Roadside from Allstate. A different kind of roadside assistance. You'll never pay a dime unless you use it. And it's open to everyone.
Not just Allstate customers. Go to allstate.com slash roadside to register and get important information. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. My colleague is speaking double to share some great news from Shell and Ralph's. When you fuel up at Shell, take your receipt to Ralph's and get double rewards points when using your Ralph's rewards card. And double rewards points means faster earnings. Yep. Let me repeat that for emphasis. No, no, no, no. We got it. Okay. Your Shell fuel receipt earns you double rewards points at Ralph's. Well, all right then. Well, all right then. Fuel earnings are limited to up to 35 gallons per purchase. Offer valid through August 31st, 2011 at participating Shell Stations. See stores for details or go to www.ralphs.com slash fuelpromotion. Los Tacos is proud to be a sponsor for this year's Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. At the concert tour in North County, Los Tacos is the place to enjoy Mexican food with the freshest ingredients. Just one bite and you'll be hooked. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. The 905 westbound, some slow traffic from the 805 to Picador. Also, the 5 southbound, some back up here from SeaWorld Drive. Looks like the 54 eastbound, some pretty heavy traffic from National City to the 805.
This report also brought to you by California Grown. California Grown foods do great things for a state's economy. They add about $16 billion a year. That's over $430 for every person in the state. Be Californian. Buy California Grown. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm the opposite of a football player. Lauren. I love taking care of boyfriends when they're sick. Woods. I do know my way around the jail. Sienna. I like a beer belly. I'm going to tell you that right now. And Jay. Yes, sir. On FM 94.9. Word of the day is Barracuda. When you hear me work the word Barracuda into a sentence between now and 10, caller number nine is going to get four tickets to SeaWorld and a Street Fighter 4 3D video game. So James Fry. This is an author that Woods really likes, and he's not the only one. The guy was extraordinarily popular when he wrote this book, A Million Little Pieces, a story about his life. Woods, what was so great about this book? You know, I think anybody that, the first time I read it, I was on a plane, and I was flying to Arizona, and I was weeping, weeping. It was that powerful. Guy struggled with addiction, death.
You know, in his family, illness, things like that. And, dude, it was so powerful. And interestingly enough, at the time, my wife, who was then my girlfriend, was sick. She was very sick. And I reached out to him, to James, and just wrote him, told him how much I liked it, told him what Jamie and I were going through. He wrote me a personal message and told Jamie to keep fighting what she was fighting. And it was just incredible. Like, it was incredible. It was such a weird feeling. And I just instantly was all the way in on that dude. It was really cool. So I've always been, for obvious reasons, a huge fan. And his writing, brilliant. Now, that's what I've heard, that his writing is brilliant. As it turned out, much of the book, A Million Little Pieces, was embellished in that he made it up. Now, Okra Winifrey, who's the host of the Okra Winifrey Show. Did this thing called the Okra Book Club. Right. Where she would talk about a book. And when she did that, man, it would go straight to number one. Done. Instantly. If she touched it. Yes. It would just instantly become a number one bestseller. And she did with his book. And then it was revealed that it was a fake and a phony. And so she felt like an idiot. And so she decided to ambush him. Bring him on the show. And, you know.
corner him. Now, I remember seeing it and thinking, that's weak. Just tell him what you're going to talk about. You know, I mean, and if her thinking was, well, if I tell him, he won't come on and then I can't get him. I can't get him. And doesn't he know who I am? You don't do this to me. I'm Okra Winifrey. You don't do that to Okra. And so she asked him yesterday, so what'd you think about it when I brought you on? Did you think? That I had taken you out to the whipping post? Or did you think at the time I was too hard on you? I thought it was within your rights to conduct your show however you wanted to. I knew I had made a bad mistake. What did you think of the way it was conducted? No, wait a minute though, James. A mistake is not what you did. A mistake.
by definition, is something happens without you planning it. That's a mistake. What you did wasn't a mistake. It was on purpose. Yeah. Yeah. Your impression of it. I mean, I thought I got ambushed. Poor error in judgment is what he had. He had a poor error in judgment. He thought it would be a good idea, and it wasn't. Yeah, and there's different layers to that story, too. I mean, he wrote the book, and then he said, hey, you should push this as a memoir. And he's like, okay. It's his first book. He's like, all right. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. Yeah. So. So he was doing what they told him to do. Yeah. Absolutely. I felt like I got ambushed. I think. Well, you did get ambushed. She ambushed you. Had I known what I was walking into, I probably still would have walked into it. But. And in a lot of ways, I didn't think it even mattered. You know, at the end of it, it didn't matter. What happened on that show? Because in some ways I deserved it. You know, I made a mistake and when it kind of and at a certain point it came time to pay for it. And I paid for it. Yeah. James Fry has a new book out called The Final Testament of the Holy Bible, where he depicts Jesus as a drug addict. This is not a memoir, correct?
No, not a memoir. This one's different. This one's made up. I own it. Have not read it yet. Yeah, I do not own it. You can borrow it when I'm done. I'm good. Are you sure? He'll want it for his iPad. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm good with that one. Well, you got a birthday coming up. Oh, perfect. Yeah, no, I don't think... Yeah, I don't think it interests me. You sure? Yeah, I think I'm good. Because I can... If you want it, I could go... Over the borders or something. Well, here's the deal. Here's the deal. And some people that don't know me may be surprised to know that I don't want to read a book that depicts Jesus as a drug addict who has sex with prostitutes and makes out with men. You don't? No. But, hey, listen. Good luck. It's got Jesus in the title, though, right? No. It's got the Bible. It's got the Bible in the title. Bible in the title. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm just, you know.
I'm just wondering, James Fry, you know, you're sitting around the house. You're just kind of going. Spitballing ideas. Spitballing ideas. Yeah. Yeah. You go, maybe I'll write a fictionary book about the life of a sailor. He meets people and, you know, he meets people and just kind of his crazy life out in the sea. That's not going to work. What about if I depict Jesus as a homosexual drug addict? That may work. That may get me some pub. I think he just threw a bunch of controversial topics into a hat. Yeah, and just picked them out. I was like, all right, here we go. Here we go. Controversy stew. Let's see. He talks about his emotions after it all happened with Oprah. Did you ever cry about it? Question. Oh, that's weird. Really weird. Did you ever lay in bed twitching? Did I make you weep like a little girl?
Were you a little Sally? Did I make you, when you were sitting in the chair when I was interviewing you, did you want to go pee-pee on yourself? Was I the big bad wolf? Did I hurt your feelings? Let me ask you this, James. Oh, you're really getting him, Oprah. Listen to him cry. Let me burp you. Let me burp you. You're gonna burp. Did you ever cry about it? You shed a tear about it? No. I never shed a tear about it. I know that's not what you want to hear, Oprah, but no. Yeah, your filleting of me, you know, it was what it was, but I'm not going to ruin my skills, kid. She's like, oh, damn it. Well, I didn't get you hard enough then. Were you angry? Could you describe your emotions at the time? Were you angry? Were you frustrated? Were you angry with me? Did you think you'd been set up? Did you? I mean,
I mostly thought to myself, I'm afraid now. If I'm being honest, like part of me thinks that there's going to be a guy that comes in the room with a ball gag that just beats me up any second. This isn't even being taped. Like none of this is being taped right now. This is all fake. This is all fake and you're going to have me beat. Those cameras, they're not even on. I don't even think they're on. There's no red light. The audience is like cardboard. Have you ever seen Punk'd? Yeah. Are you a friend of Ashton Kutcher's? Are you a fan of Ashton Kutcher's? I like that. Do you find him attractive? Are you sure? I'm gay. I find him attractive and I'm gay. Is that what you want to hear? That's what I was going for. Did you ever cry about him? Yes, question mark? No, I didn't. James? No, I did. I did cry. I cried. I didn't. I did cry. I did. Did you ever have a dream about me and Ashton Kutcher together?
No, I didn't. Not in that way. Not in that way. No, I did. One time I did. One time I had a dream about you guys. But you guys were friends. We weren't having anything. You were friends. And after what happened on the show, did you tell Ashton Kutcher? About it? Yes. About what happened on the show or the dream? Did you tweet him? What? Did you tweet him? No, I didn't. Yeah, I did. I tweeted him. Okay. Once, twice, three times a lady. What about Gail? Gail? What about Gail? My best friend. What about her? What have you been telling her? I told her that you are friends and that you like her and that you're friends and that you would never do anything to hurt her. Does she know Ashton Kutcher? Once she met him at a party. It was Lakers after the game we went to. I don't know what to tell you. How do you know so much about Gail? I wrote a book about Gail depicting her as a drug addict and a lesbian. I'm not a lesbian. I know that. Why don't you admit it, though? I'm not even kind of lesbian. Okay. I'm even kind of lesbian. How did I arrive at this place? How did I get here? This is not what I ever set out to do. This is not what I wanted to do. This is not who I wanted to be. This is not what I worked a lot of years for. And I mean, I think at times, yeah, there was anger, there was confusion, there was embarrassment, there was sadness, there was...
You know, a lot of times the most profound feelings we have, I don't think we have words for. It's difficult to articulate it, particularly when you're in it. It was all those things. And it was really like a moment to moment thing. Like it was just get through this, get through this, get through this. It'll be fine. You'll be fine. Get through it. I was feeling a lot of things. It was pretty overwhelming experience. Did you say 14 rosaries like I told you to? No. I told you to say 14 rosaries and write on a piece of paper. I'm not even religious. I'm not even kind of religious. I gave you Oprah Pentance that you were supposed to do. I don't take orders from you. Did you read the March copy of O four times in a row? No. You're supposed to. My wife did. I don't. No, then you're not. You're on my dartboard, though. I'm going to punch you in the ovary. Great shot. Oh, ow. Right to the baby maker.
Are you surprised then that I was asking the kinds of questions that I was asking about the book? I don't think I was surprised, but I think almost immediately I just felt like I was getting steamrolled. Again, I've never seen it. I think it would be weird and probably pretty kind of interesting. He never watched. Wow. I wouldn't either. A little maybe to see it at this point. Listen to James Fry talking into... Okra Winifrey, yesterday, he went back on her show after she ambushed him four years ago. I'm not gonna. But I remember coming out and sitting down and almost immediately feeling like steamrolled. You know, it was a shocking experience. You know you deserved it, you little twerp, right? Yeah, I mean, just trying to sell books. I guess I'm the first one ever to embellish in a book. When I wrote that book, I didn't know that it was supposed to be like a manual for like addiction. And like they were going to like hand it out at Hazelden. And like, you know. Apparently it was. More than likely. I love this. Sienna said her husband Todd has got this new bit that he does with her. Love new bits. I don't. Sienna is not good at going through the mail. She's not.
Neither am I. I'm not the mail person. Rebecca is, and in your family, Todd is. Yeah. You never do it. No. Well, what he does now is he takes her mail, and after she goes to sleep, he puts it in her purse so that she has to deal with it. I saw it this morning. I saw it. We were walking in, and I looked. I go, look at all that mail in her bag. Oh, I love it. Yes. That's a great bit. The only reason that doesn't happen to me, by the way, is because I don't have a purse. My wife would have to stick it in my wallet. Love you. I mean, I thought we each had roles, you know? Yeah. And I thought that was his role. That was his deal. But apparently he's done. Do you want him to open your mail? Yeah, I want him to open it and deal with it. Yeah. That's awesome. And if there's someone that I have to call because I'm Sienna, it's fine. Give me the number. Yeah. Leave it on a post-it. Yeah. But like, I'm not good at things like this. There are things I'm great at and there are things he's not good at, you know, like shopping and stuff like that. I'll do all of that. You do the mail. All right.
Question. Why do you think he's decided to do this now? I don't know. Has he been telling you? No. I think... That's awesome. I think this... Have you not been doing something? And he's like... Fine. I told you guys I've been lacking in the dinner department. So is that his way? I don't know. It's called chunky soup retribution is what it's called. I haven't confronted him about this, but this morning I get to work and I'm like going through to find my phone in my purse and I'm like, really? With all these envelopes? What is this? It's in the way. They're not usually in there. Question. What? If that man had dinner on his plate every single night, do you think those envelopes would be there? I don't know. I wonder if he's trying to do that bit. He might be. We had dinner last night. What'd you make? Barbecue chicken that he barbecued. Oh, wow. That he barbecued. And macaroni and cheese. The macaroni and cheese was for him. I didn't eat any of it, so I made it.
Only for him. Wow, you opened a whole box of macaroni. I know. Come on, she's doing something there. You know what, though? I never eat the dinner. I never have dinner. And so it's like, I wake up so early, lunch is usually my dinner. Dynamics between spouses is fascinating to me. Last night, I was upset because Rebecca didn't make bone-in pork chops. That's what you wanted. This is my life as a 40-year-old man, all right? Where you promised them hurt, sadness, fear. Where you promised the pork chops. Woods, who gets promised pork chops? People, when they go to work, their wife says, hey, babe, FYI, I'm making your favorite tomorrow. Why'd you get mad? I'll tell you, because this has happened before. She, oh, wow, LLB instantly got a look on her face. Before you guys start pointing the finger of judgment on me. This is a repeated fight about pork. Before you start pointing these bony fingers of judgment at me. It's bone in. I want you, before you start pointing these bone in fingers of judgment on me. Every one of you M1s in your car right now, who I know are. I want you to just go, I got my stuff with my woman too.
And then I want you to go, I got my stuff with my husband. You got your little things. But we need you to embellish so we can try to judge you. Fine. Fine, I will. So here's what she does. She orders from Albertsons or Vons or whatever, and they bring it to the house. If they don't have something, they substitute. So if they don't have the bone in, they substitute it with the boneless. All right? Bone in is juicier on the bone. It makes a juicier chop. I prefer a juicier chop. Save that. Isolate. Save that clip. Isolate. Isolate. I prefer a juicier shot. It's brilliant. It's really. Freaking brilliant. Who doesn't? Brilliant. If you have a choice between, anyway. So, in the past, this has happened, you know. Now, last time it happened, I pouted. But I didn't say, I don't like these. I would rather have the bone in. So what I did was I pouted, hoping she could read my pout and make sure that this doesn't happen anymore. But she didn't. And so they substituted. And so she says, they substituted tonight the bone in for the boneless pork chop. And I was really hungry. Weird. Yeah. And I go, like a child. I go, I don't like those.
And I heard myself in my own ears. I don't like those. What happened? What happened? But this wasn't her fault. She should have butchered it herself. I know. I go, babe, listen. If they bring the boneless, tell me. I'll stop and I'll get the bone in. What will you do with the boneless at that point? Return them. Take them back. All this talk about boning is making me hungry. Creep. And I felt bad. Porkchop fight. Porkchop fight. You know, if I was a monster, that your new nickname would be, in fact, Porkchop. It's funny because he's fat. Easy, donut. Yeah. Call me Johnny Eclair. It's fine. Yeah, because you got mad at your wife one time because she brought you back your chocolate eclair and it had white frosting on the top of it. I lost my mind. Threw it? Did you throw anything? Oh, yeah. Over a donut? Over a donut. Cleared off an entire desk. Cleared something off the...
Bedside table. I didn't want the ones with the white stripes on the top. It's where they take the frosting and they drizzle it. I don't like that. It doesn't even taste different, though. Yeah, it does. And it had cream inside, I think. I like the creamless. You didn't even try it? I had a bite. It was disgusting. I'm going to say this. Listen, to my defense, to your defense, to every man listening right now's defense, our wives didn't just meet us. They didn't just... Meet us. Now, that doesn't mean that we should flip out the way that I flipped out and the way that Woods flipped out. We're little pansy babies when we go... And I did. I was like... It was probably ridiculous for your wives to assume that as life got busier, that you guys would maybe somehow adapt. Like, on a night where Albertsons was out of bone-in pork chops, you might just be okay with boneless. Because you're 40 and I'm 35. That was just a leap. Look at that look on Mikey's face. Disdain. That if I went out of my way to go get my husband in a Clare Donut where I wasn't even headed to the store for anything but something for him that I thought a white stripe would be okay. It's not okay. He doesn't eat it on Mikey's face. I don't like the white stripes on it. I just want the regular Clare. You know he doesn't. We're very busy. I didn't believe her. I thought she lied to me. I went...
to the 7-Eleven later and double check that they were out. Like I do with Jay? Yeah, like you do with Jay. Like when Jay says something, I'm like, let me see. Let me see it? Yeah. No matter what. No matter what. That's exactly what I did. I went there and I go, looking around. Same thing that happens to Mikey every day. That's right. It was great. Just know that we love you guys and wives are just trying to help. Trying your best. Just give us what we want. Sometimes we can't control what the grocery... The grocer has in supply. And then she made it, you know, she made sure that I knew what a monster I was. But she goes, hey, you know what? Now I know. Never again. Boneless. Now I know. It's probably hard for her to tell the difference, too, because she's a vegetarian. So she solely cooks those for you. She has eyesight. She has eyesight, right? Yeah, but she might not know the difference. Yeah. She's a vegetarian because she saw the movie The Cove. So, you know, I didn't marry a vegetarian, but hey, you know what?
COVID up. COVID. I called you. Speaking of spouses, I got a question for every dude. When we get back, I want to ask you this specifically. Listen, I want you to be honest. I want dudes to be honest. Do not lie. Do not lie. If you want me to change your voice, I will. I'll put an effect on your voice. You can call anonymously, but I want to know. And I'll ask you this question next. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Pop quiz, hot shot. There's a brick heading for your n**** at 50 miles per hour. What do you do? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What do you do? Or shoot him a text. 949Mikey at gmail.com. The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9.
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In good hands. On the 78 eastbound between, let's see, the 5 in Escondido. Looks like the westbound 76 between Mission Road and College Boulevard. That's pretty slow, too. All in Vista here. The 54 eastbound through Chula Vista. That's pretty heavy from National City Boulevard to the 805. Santee to San Diego. The 52 westbound, that's heavy from the 125 to Mass Boulevard. This report also brought to you by Mickey D's. It's back now. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for less. Limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks. Just 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like... Thick. I don't like thick. Lauren. My handbag is made out of recycled kimonos, okay? Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. Sienna. Look how fair my skin is. I got freckles. Get out of here. NJ. Yeah, back rubs are kind of a specialty of mine. On FM 94.9. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, there is a new bill being proposed in California that could force Facebook and other social networking sites.
to strip out the personal information for children at a parent's request. Is there anyone under the age of 18? It's called the Social Networking Privacy Act. And it will be providing a means for concerned parents to demand that a site has to take down their kids' information, or they could be facing stiff fines as high as $10,000. So, you know, no more messing around with putting kids' personal information online, which is a good thing, yeah. Also, May Gray is in full effect, as I'm sure you've noticed if you're outside in your car right now. They're saying that... The weather, it's supposed to be 5 to 10 degrees cooler this week than the previous year. What is going on? Yeah, and forecasters are saying the change is all due to a big storm headed our way. No, don't say it. They said Tuesday morning, which is this morning, meteorologists predict showers throughout the day that could dump anywhere from a quarter of an inch terrain to an inch. And a third wave is expected to hit on Thursday.
Wow. Mammoth is getting snow. Yeah, dusting snow all over the mountains. I have a doubleheader on Sunday. Well, you might be fine on Sunday. Thank God. Your semi-professional baseball team? Yes, our semi-professional doubleheader. Semi-professional. What's going on in sports? Well, sports today is brought to us by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some. Absolutely. Well, you guys, we're halfway home for the fryer's haircut for the kid. The Padres have won three in a row. Oh, wow. They won again last night, 8-4 over Arizona. Ryan Ludwig hit his third home run, had his third three RBI game in a five-game span. So he's heating up. I think the cure for this guy was get him the hell out of Petco Park. Right. Because on the road, keep the Padres away from Petco because they're doing really, really well. So they won last night. Tonight, they will take on the Diamondbacks again. Tim Stauffer against Daniel Hudson. If they win six in a row, Woods is going to shave his head like a friar. Don't want to. He has long hair, too. I have long hair now. Yeah, you do. My cat, Jules, is on the phone. Hi, Jules. Hey, guys. Why so down? You mean besides, like, me for like a year? What are you doing? Well, right now, I'm trying to get a Hungarian girl's attention so that she'll talk to me. The nanny? Does she ever talk to you? Nobody talks to me. We're talking to you.
That's why I called. Mike, does he pet you and talk to you? Sometimes he will if I flop down in front of him because he's trying to walk somewhere and I'll flop down in front of him. But ever since the kids were born, nobody talks to me. Thank God for the nanny from Mexico. Nobody else does. So if she wasn't there, you wouldn't eat? No. I would not eat. In fact, sometimes I just meow for no reason. And I do it really loud to people when I'm hungry. And then they ignore me. Do you want to come live at my house? You can. I've got a little animal farm going. There's six, seven. I'm begging. Pay attention to me or acknowledge my existence as a living soul.
What do you think would be a better existence? Where you are now at Mike's house or with seven dogs? You know, it's a better existence. They get more attention than you do. Yeah. I bet right now you're thinking nine lives is too many. Mike has worked out more in the last year than I've been played with. Oh, wow. You know what? He worked out yesterday for the first time in a year. You know what I did? What? Yesterday. What? I jumped up on the table on the internet. You're not supposed to be doing that. Just like Mikey. Mikey would need a ladder. You could jump up there. Like father, like son, I guess. I jumped up there and started eating out of the bowl because, well, first of all, I'm starving. I'm coming to remember to feed me with Luke and Jake and Ryan. Where are you on the pecking order? After the lamps. The lamps come before I come.
Sounds like a cry for help. In fact, Mike changed bulbs. Yes. And I was wishing I was a bulb so that somebody would touch you. He spent hours changing those bulbs. So I jumped up on the table and ate butter, and then Mike yelled at me, which was so beautiful. At least someone was talking to you. It was awesome. It just felt so good to have someone actually address me. You should do more stuff around the house. I try, man. Like, I don't even belong to Mike. He's the only one that pets me. So, wait, you were Rebecca's cat? Yeah, it was her cat. She used to talk to me, play with me. She loved you. Oh, like you wouldn't believe. I haven't had her address me in four years. Like, I considered eating a balloon yesterday just so that it would get tangled in my guts so that she would have to deal with me. Try to take you to the vet. Try to take me to the vet. Don't do things like that. I mean, I'll do anything. She walks by, I go, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,
What about like when people come over? Yeah, nothing. Silence. That's nothing. I'm so sorry. I need a... Hi, Jake. Nothing. It's like I'm a piece of furniture. I'm so sorry, Jules. When people come over, you should try to get attention from them. I do. I stick my butt in their face. Oh. The other day, I tried to pretend I was throwing up so somebody would rush me to the hospital. That's not... And I didn't even have to throw up. I was just pretending. You were just going... I was like... Hairball. No, I didn't have a hairball. It's fake hairball. It's fake. All right, well, I got to go. I got to sleep. See you. See you later. Thanks for checking in, Jules. Poor thing. Nobody talks to him. Maybe you love on him. I'm the one that does. Maybe you cuddle with him. I do, man. I'm the one that does. He'll flop down in front of me. I pet his belly. Poor guy. Pet his belly this morning. Nobody's petting that belly. Poor little dude. Guy just wants your attention. Yeah. That's it.
I saw him up on that table yesterday eating butter. I wanted to lose my mind. I wanted to lose my mind. I wanted to lose my mind. I can picture you eating butter. This was me. Get down, Jules. Get down. Rebecca looks over. He didn't do anything. What is she going to do? Could you not reach him up on the counter? That one's hurt. Just wondering. It is. That caught me. That one got me real good. Get a step stool and get him down. Oh, wow. Too sweet. Jay's words are like the teeth of a barracoo. That's true. They just sink right into it. Tear you open. They just tear you open. Just the flesh. You're trying to get your bearings and then he just comes in. That's unbelievable. This new movie. Here's the question I was going to ask you. It's this new movie with.
Mel Gibson, he is going nuts and he talks to a beaver, you know, doll. Art imitating life, right? Talks to a puppet. Is dad gone? He's not gone, honey. We just agreed that it's better if we don't live together anymore. I'm glad you kicked him out. What a loser. This is the story of Walter Black, a hopelessly depressed individual. The successful and loving family man he used to be has gone missing. And no matter what he's tried, Walter can't seem to bring him back. Mom says yours got broken. So you can see that Walter is a man who's lost all hope. But he's about to find his voice. Look at you. I'm sick. Beaver. Sounds like a nice beaver, yeah. Take the old log to the beaver. The more beaver drops.
It's just a bunch of them, I guess. Leave it to be heard. All right. Got it. So, Mel, in the movie, Mel talks through the stupid puppet. Right. Okay. Now, here's my question. How long would it take you with your spouse? And this is a real question. I don't mean this like, oh, immediately. I mean, I really want you to think about it. How long would it take you before you said to your wife, freaking lose it. I'm over it. Stop. Now, I'm not talking about leaving your wife. But if your wife went and she started talking through a puppet of a beaver in a different voice, she was like, hello, hon. How are you? How's it? How are we? And you came home and she was going through something like really traumatic. Right. And you love her, but she's depressed. And you come home and she's like, would you like some dinner?
And you got to go. I would. What would you like tonight? How about bone-in pork chops? Sounds great. I'll get what to work on it for you. I will. Pour me a vat of Jack Daniels while you're at it, please. Would you like it on the rocks? Straight up. Just straight up, Jack Daniels. Just bring me the whole bottle. Oh, my God. Not the bottle? Just bring me the whole bottle and a couple Valium and Ambien. I was a day, dear. It was fine. Just... You just get to dinner. How's everything at work? It's fine. It's great. Everybody's good. Everybody's really vibing and getting along. Everything's good. Creatively, everything's good. So just dinner would be good. I hear the weather's good this weekend. Yeah, it's going to be fine. I'm going to be... Why don't we take a pox? We take a trip down to the Balboas. I've got baseball both days. I'm actually just joined four other teams. So I'm going to be playing a hell of a lot more. Question is, how long until you finally go, hey, listen. We've been to the shrink. Shrink says, let you talk to the freaking doll. It's over. You've got to stop this. This is ridiculous. Ixnay on the Eever Bay. Yes. Okay, we're done with it. Now, I thought about this question because I knew I was going to pose it on the air. 570-1949. I want men to call me and say a real amount of time. By the way, this is M1 Babe from Sorrento Mesa. What was the word of the day? That is correct. That is correct.
Four-pack of tickets to SeaWorld and Street Fighter 4 3D game from Nintendo. Hang on the line, okay? Okay. Hey, Mike. Yeah. I wanted to tell you, I met your wife at OSI, and she is truly a saint. She'd have to be. She was so nice. Well, she's a very wonderful woman. I love her. She's lovely. I'm nice, too. What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're great. You're great. But she's really nice, too. Is she hard of seeing? Is she hard of seeing? I just think she is everything that you say she is. Yes, she is. I love her very much. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, God. She hard of seeing? Her is what? She. A little blonde? A little blonde, hard of seeing? Blonde or blind? Yes. Blonde. Same thing. Ain't no difference. I thought about this question. One year. No way. I could do it for a year. No way. And then after a year, I would say to Rebecca, hey, listen.
I don't care. This is bits over. Listen, I know you're depressed. We've been to the shrink. That's it, though. No more beaver. And I would throw it away. Rip it off her hand. Give me that thing. I would. I would rip it off her hand and I would throw it away. It's like a security blanket. Yeah. Woods. One week. You would go one week? I just lied. One day. One day. So wait, wait, wait, wait. 24 hours. Hang on. She does the beaver bit. You obviously go to a shrink because she's nuts. That afternoon. And the shrink says, can I talk to just Steven, please? And she goes, yeah, sure. She leaves the room. And the shrink says to you, you have to let her do this. All right. Trust me, it'll work out, but she needs to let this out through the beaver. Nice beaver. One month. That's it. And then you'd lose it? I would, yeah. And vice versa, knowing my wife. She would do the same thing. Actually, no, she'd do it for 50 years. My wife's a saint. She'd do it for 50 years. Mine too. My wife would let me be that stupid beaver as long as it took. Mine too. I'm such a narcissistic weirdo. Me too. It would take me, I could, I could, Jay, how about you? I would have friends over to watch her.
You got to see this. I put her on YouTube. Yeah. Try to make a dollar. I try to make money off her. It might be fun, too. Hey, honey, you going to bring that to bed with you? She would, too. I mean, if that's how they were, it would come to the bedroom as well. Beavers, tap on logs. Nope. Come on. Get it. Time to make a damn. You get it? Time to make a damn. Let's make a damn damn. Oh, my God. Hey, honey. Let's bring that beaver doll in here. That's what I'm saying. I never tire of that beaver puppet. Oh, my. I just can't tire of it. A lot of my friends have said, I know you're an old creepy pervert, but aren't you tired of that old puppet? And I say, I ain't going to wear that thing out. That puppet is a freak. I did that with puppets. What a special friend you are.
Some things just never lose their luster. Furry and brown. Get it? Y'all get it? I'll explain it if you don't understand it. It's a double intender, all right? I would give her as long as it took. Of course you would. Because I'm perfect. Because I'm perfect. No, I'm not perfect. I live in a town called Perfectville. You know the Dalai Lama? Population one. What choice do you have? You love her. But at some point, dude, I don't know. You have to rip the thing off her hand, break it into a million pieces, no pun intended, and throw it out. How about you, Sienna? How long would your husband allow you to talk through a puppet if you lost your mind? How long would he allow me? Yeah, how long before he would say, you know what? Stupid. A week, probably. And then he would lose it and be like... No, he would not be okay with that. He'd be like, you're not crazy. Cut it out. Oh, he would be really annoyed and be mad. Me too.
I would, too. Monsters. I know. Men are monsters. How come we're so impatient? Why do they love us so much? I know. Why do they love us so much? Because I'm like, freaking, you're not talking. You don't have to talk to do that. Stop begging for attention. Do I not give you enough attention? So stupid. That would be me. 570-1949. No, that bit took off like a freaking lead. Balloon. We could play Tyson tunes if you want. We probably have some of those clips left in the array. Keep going. If you wanted to try. We could get people to dress up their cars. Yeah. Yeah, maybe we'll try to A-L-O-B. L-O-B. I have an idea for a bit. Why don't we try to break a world record for jingle bells with cars? We should try it for something maybe for the summer. Because Christmas isn't coming up. So we should do something summer related. But remember that time that you thought we should try to break a world record with jingle bells with cars? And then this one person showed up?
And remember that time you said if we wanted to break the tension when there was a bad bit, we could just say Tyson tunes and then we'd all laugh? No, it was Blue Eyes. It was Tyson tunes. It was? Not every bit is going to be a home run. It's fair enough. Don't worry. We've all had our Tyson tunes. Let's just move on to something better. I know, but I... It's fun to pull the curtain back. I thought this was going to be interesting. You said it. I was just trying to make... I was trying to provide comedic relief. I know. I don't even... Did nobody call... No. Not one person? No. No, we do have one person. But it's not interesting. I don't know why I thought it would be. I thought it would be interesting to think of what I would do if my wife talked to a beaver. I think it's very interesting. We agreed on it, so we all thought it was interesting. I know. I never agree on stuff, so you know it's good. Sienna's giving me a look right now like, I can't lie to you with these eyes. She doesn't like anything, and I like everything. That's always the bit. Let me see what Dylan says. Dylan, what would you do? Well, me, I mean, for me, I would have to deal with it. Because I've had friends going through depression and stuff. And at the end of the day, sitting across from somebody who's not talking to you at all would just be so just nerve-wracking. When you can't get through to somebody at all, they won't look at you. Or they got a fork in the beaver's mouth they're eating mashed potatoes. Right. What's then?
That's real life. You're like, listen, I love you. Knock it off. Cut it out. I'm done. This is over. I would throw. Let's go to Balboa Park, have a picnic. Just leave that frigging sock at home, all right? I wouldn't even be cool. Hey, let's play Gas Prices Right. 570-1949. 570-1949. What we're going to do is we're going to give you the price of gas in San Diego, the median price of gas. And then we're going to give you some items. You've got to tell us whether it's more or less. than the price of gas. What do we got to give away, Jay? I've got a four-packet... Four-packet? Four-packet tickets to the San Diego County Fair. Nice. Going on June 10th through July 4th. Ooh, it's back. It's back. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell me the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up! More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9.
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As you head this morning into Vista on the 78 eastbound, that's pretty heavy from the 5 to Escondido Avenue. Westbound 76, you've got some delays from Mission Road and College Boulevard. Also, as you travel through the 5 southbound, you've got some backup here from SeaWorld Drive. The 905 Drive, you've got delays on the westbound side. It's pretty slow from the 805 to Picador Boulevard. The 8 eastbound 905, that's... Pretty much delayed here between the 5 and the 805. This report brought to you by Shell. All three grades of Shell gas contain their nitrogen and rich cleaning system to protect critical engine parts against performance-ropping gunk. Try Shell nitrogen and rich gas today. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report update. for a, what is it already? Tuesday morning, can you believe it? Surf-wise today, we do have more action. It is a little bit up from a west-northwesterly wind-ground swell combination that is on the rise. So secondary southwest out there for sure as well. Combination spots, seeing some waist chest height sets, larger ways up the shoulder height can be found in those areas most open to the swell mix. Unfortunately, though, we're being plagued by negative low tide since past earlier this morning.
and a continuation of these overcast cloudy skies with funky westerly winds primarily now. So all areas are looking pretty textured and broken up. That being said, there's a bit more size, so there's a bit more corner to be found, primarily at the beach breaks now and some selected reef break areas. It can only get better as the tide fills in, especially if winds back off. So let's hope for that. For up to the minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for all your surfboard repair needs, go see Joe Roper. Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. There's a lot of guy stuff that I'm not into and a lot of chick stuff I'm pretty into. Lauren. You guys, I'm a middle child. I need attention. Woods. You know what my wife's number one complaint about me is? My clothes. I leave my clothes scattered throughout the house. Sienna. La Jolla is my favorite bubble. I don't want to live anywhere else. And Jay. My kids' friends are always afraid of me. On FM 94.9. Hey, listen, I'm with you. The weather stinks. It's supposed to be like this all day. In fact, we're here and we're seeing it's just clouds and rain and junk. And back again on Thursday. It's already wet a little bit out there. Junk, man. Perfect. It's May. Come on now. May Gray. It's a weak bit. It is a weak bit. Sick of it.
Play The Gas Price is Right. It'll cheer us up. Now, The Gas Price is Right is pretty easy. We just, a couple people play, and you got to get three out of five right. So we play it two players, three out of five. Now, the median price of gas has stayed the same. Still $4.25. Still $4.25 a gallon. The price of gas, though, is ridiculous. I don't know how to get it to come down, but whatever it is. Drive a Suburban. Drive a Suburban. Oh, a friend of mine was telling me, this is how disgusting these oil companies are. Diesel's more expensive than premium gas. It's more expensive than the most expensive gas. It used to be cheaper than regular unleaded gasoline. But then they figured out, oh, people are buying these to save money. So you know what we'll do? We'll stick it to them. How disgusting is that, man?
Not surprised. It's so filthy. Let's see. M1 Julie from San Diego. Are you there? Hi. Good morning. Good morning. Are you ready to play Gas Prices Right? Okay. Okay. Medium price of gas is $4.25. So you have to guess whether these products that I give you are more or less than $4.25. You ready? Okay. Vlasic bread and butter pickle stackers. More. They cost $2.99. Okay, well, I don't buy pickles. All right. You'll get this next one. Let's see if you buy paper towels, because it's a brawny three-pack of paper towels. Is that more or less than $4.25? More? That's right. $5.99. Right on. All right, you need to get two more right. Dunkin' Donuts Original Blend Coffee. More. You got it. Wow. $8.99. Wow.
You only need one more right, and you've won. Okay. Land O'Lakes Unsalted Sweet Cream Butter with four in, it's a four-pack. Four. Oh, my gosh. Cost $3.19 for that. I'm nervous. You got one more chance. You get this one right, and what does she win again, Jay? She gets a four-pack of tickets to the San Diego County Fair. All right. Got it. Here we go. Medium price of gas is $4.25. Is Blue Diamond Wasabi and Soy Almonds 16-ounce can, is that more or less than $4.25? What? You're a great winner! You're great on the gas prices, right? You just won a four-pack of tickets to the fair. Hang on the line, please. Oh, I can't wait to be eating Corn Brothers corn, grilled up. Mayonnaise and lime? Oh, yeah. You know that.
Can't wait to be eating some big old nice fresh cinnamon rolls. Funnel cake. Oh, yes. Big old turkey leg. Chocolate covered bacon. That's right. M1 Gun from Escondido. You there? Yes. All right. You got to get three out of five. You ready? Ready. Medium price of gas, $425. Is Bounce Outdoor Fresh Dryer Sheets an 80 count more or less than $425? More. It's actually less, $3.89. Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars, a 24-pack. Is that more or less than $4.25? More. That is correct. How about Happy Hen Large Brown Eggs, a dozen? More or less than $4.25? Never buy eggs. Let's say more. You are correct.
$4.99. You only need one more right, and you win. All right. How about a nine-ounce box of Rice Krispies? More or less than $4.25? Less. It's $4.99. It costs more. All right. You got one more chance, bro. All right. Medium price of gas in San Diego County, $4.25. Is a Classico four-cheese Alfredo sauce, a jar of that, is that more or less than $4.25? Let's see. Sorry, dude. Sorry. I suck. I was playing along. $3.84, my friend. Sorry about that. It ain't easy. I wouldn't get any of these right. I played along with every one of them, got 80% of them wrong. Me too. I would never get them wrong. And I do all the shopping. You do? Yes. What does that tell you? Just throw stuff in the basket? Yeah, because I get it wrong because I don't do the shopping. All right, I got a text for you. You tell me what you think about this.
So, we were talking about Chaz Bono last week. Wood. Now, Wood says that because people have told him that he looks like Chaz Bono. Identical. One person. You don't. Identical. One person said that. Hundreds of people have told him. No, they haven't. Hundreds. Chaz Bono used to be Chastity Bono. Cher and Sonny Bono's daughter became a man. Had surgery, became a man. Identical. So we got a text that said, Mikey, heard you guys talking about transgender yesterday. We got this last week, but we saved it. It says, when I walked into our bathroom at work, there was a guy putting on cover up on his zit. And it reminded me, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. M1P. A lot of haws in there. I know, there's a lot of haws. The reason that I thought that this was funny is because...
I've done that. Okay. Now, I'm not talking about Oxy or Clearasil that is the color of a zit. You know how they make that stuff? I'm not talking about that. What I'm talking about is I've said to my wife, hey, babe, can you throw some of that on my zit? You're talking Revlon. But I'm all woman. And she will come over and she will take a brush that has cover up on it and she will. And she refuses to buy me my own. I've asked her to buy me my own. She won't go that far. You're gay? Because you macrame yourself a pair of jean shorts. She won't go that far because I think that she thinks in her head, if I go that far, it means that I'm married to a gay guy. Right. And I don't want to believe I'm married to a gay guy. I want to believe that the guy I'm married to is a straight male man. I'd say most gay men don't wear as much cover-up as you've worn in your lifetime. With a makeup brush. Yes.
I think that could be fair to say that there are a lot of gay men who have never applied cover-up from a woman's makeup brush. I have. With women's makeup cover-up. I've done that for you on the air. Yeah, one time Sienna did it for me on the air. And listen, no. I'm just admitting it on the air. I've done it. But if I didn't admit it, nobody would know. We're live on the radio. You know that, right? It's fine with me. Fine with me, too. I've done it. No big deal. Why? Cover it up, dude. It's in the name. I'm perfect. I don't get zips. Y'all get acne? I get acne, but you know what? It's like, hey, look what I've got. I'm not trying to be all... You know what I get? I get long dong syndrome. Ever got that? Probably not, but I get it. Something I deal with. You know what? It affects 0.0.04% of the population. I got it. Yeah. Me and like three tribesmen in New Guinea. Yeah, and John Holmes. That's it. And John Holmes. I get one to have sex a lot. Yeah. So what? Sorry. I can't help it. I don't get zits. Sorry I can last for a week. It ain't my... No big deal. Hey, it isn't my...
It's a condition. You know what my kryptonite is? What? Viagra. Don't need it. Yeah. I don't need that stuff. Hell no. In fact, you know what they did? They harvest my DNA to make Viagra. Absolutely. I have to go in once a week. They draw blood. Pfizer. Pfizer flies me out. Johnson and Johnson. Johnson and Johnson. My wife Kim will go. Babe, where are you going? I go, Pfizer. And she goes, oh, giving blood again? And I go, yeah. And I fly down to Pfizer. They take me into a laboratory. I go, hey, Betty, how you doing? Eyes of kids. Is Steve over that cold yet? They put a little thing, put the IV in me, draw my blood. And they take my blood and they make it into Viagra. They got to water it down a lot. Yeah. They got to dilute it. Kill a normal guy. Yeah, it would kill a normal guy. During the trials, it killed three men. They were making sex to their wife and they died. Mikey, you should try it. Just see what happens. Oh, he'd kill over. I'd laugh. He'd kill over. I'd laugh. Mike, try some of this. Yeah. It's going to kill you. It's going to kill you. Cover this up.
Is there any other men that have done that? Yeah, I do. Please tell me you guys were married when you did that. No. I was actually single. That's when I did it. If I was on a date with a man that had cover up on his face, it would be over. What if you didn't know? Oh, no. If I didn't know, okay. But when I found out, goodbye. Oh, come on. No way. Wake up and scrubbed off on the pillowcase. No way. I'm a woman, and I'm telling you. Well, I know women. Hang on a minute. You know what? He hates it. He hates to be told. Me and Mike know women better than women. We know your boyfriend better than you do. You guys just know it all. We know you better than you know you. We know women better than women. Just know it all. Yes. If I were single, I wouldn't do it. Oh, I did it when I was single. See, I... Big mistake. Well, but you were dating a particular girl. No, I was... Oh, you were just dating? Trying to make sex to girls. So, yeah, I was out there doing my thing. And I would have like a zit and we were going out. Hang on, hang on, hang on.
You would use the Clearasil cover-up. No, or I had... You had a makeup thing? A girlfriend of mine, you knew her. Former girlfriend. Former girlfriend of mine left some cover-up in the house, but I didn't use it. You stole it from her makeup bag. Conveniently left it. You stole it from her makeup bag. What did you use to apply? My finger. Really? You fingered it? I would just put a little... I rub it in. I wouldn't have done that. I have a cover-up wand right now. You want to try it? I don't have any acne right now. If I did, I'd let you do it. I'm looking over on your face. I don't have any acne right now. You don't? I don't. My face looks like a saddlebag, but I don't have any acne. M1 Valerie is on the line from Carlsbad. Hi, Valerie. How you doing? Good. How are you? Good. I like manly men, like men that go hunting. Like me? Yes. How you doing? I love manly men. And if I found out that he was wearing a little cover-up turn, it would look good for me. I wouldn't really mind it. I mean, if it was all over his face, okay, but one bit, not a big deal. Like Tammy Faye Baker? If I was single and we were dating Valerie, I wouldn't do it. And the reason I wouldn't do it is I would think that you, rightfully so, would think that I might swing both ways. Girly man. Yeah, that I'm a girly man, so I wouldn't do it. But once I had you and you couldn't get away from me, once I married you and you're mine and you can't get out of it and you're stuck with me. Traps.
See, that's when you don't care about having a zit, though, when some girl's already in on you for who you are. She knows what you do. She listens to you fart. I still have my deal where I want to be presentable. Well, so do I. But, you know, at that point, it's like, why am I going to cover it up? She's going to love me no matter what. Aren't you embarrassed for anyone to see it? That's the deal. Were you only embarrassed for girls to see it? I was only embarrassed when I was single to have other single women. He's on the prowl. If I was on the prowl, I wouldn't want them to see it. I don't want to come in here and have LB and Sienna see it. It wouldn't bother me for these girls. I don't want anybody to. I don't want anybody to. I wouldn't cover up a zit now, but I have for sure. I've gone in a tanning bed to try to get rid of zits before. Yeah, Woods, what are you talking about? You go in a tanning bed. Why do you go in a tanning bed? To tan? Right. Why? You got... Your wife? Because I'm chubby. And Sienna's bit is if you can't tone it, tan it. But your wife's already with you. Yeah, but I want to feel better. And when you look better, you feel better. Really? Yeah. Is it that you want to feel better? It's not that you want to be attractive? Dude, look at me. I look like a turd. Come on. You've got to be honest. I haven't shaved in a week. I'm being honest. Of course I want to look good for my wife. Why do you care about what your hair looks like? I don't. You always ask us. All right, fine. I'll be honest. All right, you be honest. I want to be attractive to...
People. Really? Yeah. I'm the only person? No. I'm not married, so, you know, technically I'm still single, but that doesn't mean once I get married that I'm going to stop caring about what I look like. I do for my wife. If we're going somewhere, I dress up. For her? Yeah. I dress up more for my significant other, but I still want the world to, you know. Yeah. Yeah, but you don't wear those workout pants and what you're wearing now to OSI. You want to look a little bit sharp, and that's not for Jamie. That's for our M1s. I look like an turd. No, it's for Jamie. No, it's not. I do it because I want my wife. I wore a skull cap to OSI. I didn't care. Because the skull cap looks good on you, and everyone's told you that, and you said that, too. Why did you dress up for Sienna's wedding? Because it's a wedding. Well, who cares, though? Everybody dresses up. Yeah, but who cares if you don't care? That's protocol. Okay, I got one for you. That's protocol. Your wife goes out of town. Uh-huh. And we all decide that we're going to have a little night out and go to a nightclub. Whoa. Fantasyland? No. We're going to a nightclub. You know what I'd wear? Jeans and a V-neck t-shirt. No, you would not. He would wear... Pearl snap, 100. Or Pearl snap. Let me tell you. And he would choose those jeans.
I have one pair of jeans. I'm not. Dude, what you don't understand is that for 15 years, I was in a suit and tie every day. Shaved, manicured. I'm not doing it anymore. I don't care. Yeah. Well manicured, shaved, like hair done. I'm not doing it anymore. Wow. Kid's finding himself now. Yeah, me too. I want to look good. Yeah, I don't care. I don't overly care, but I don't want to look like a turd. I want to lose weight, but I'm not about like. my grooming so much anymore as I once was. I mean, as much as I once was, too. Obviously, look how we all show up to work. But on special occasions, absolutely. Weddings, yeah. I'm going to wear a suit, sure. But even on a special occasion, I wouldn't put makeup on. Thank you, Jay. Well, I wouldn't need it. I told you, I don't get acne. I ain't no. sissy man either like Mikey over there. Y'all probably rubbing bacon grease on your face is why y'all get so much damn acne. I don't eat donuts or bacon. I can just be me. You think the cover up is really going to take attention away from how you overall look? You two fatties. Mikey Woods. Hey, Mike. Let me ask you a question. How you going to cover up all them muffin tops?
over the side of them fatty jeans. What do you do to cover up your boobs, Woods? Yeah. Hey, Mac. How do you cover up a face that's fatter than a Jimmy Dean Park sausage? How do you do that? Maybe you should just wear a mask. That's a good cover-up. Let me tell you something. Sally Maybelline herself could walk up to you and try to cover it. It ain't gonna happen. It ain't gonna work. Molly Maybelline don't have enough. cover up in her bag to cover all that fat fatty. I want tacos and burritos. Makeup ain't gonna do anything for your poor performance in the bedroom either. That goes for both of y'all. How you gonna cover that up? You need some of my DNA is what you need. Tall glass of J. If symptoms last for more than four hours. You might be me.
Cracking himself up. He's just cracking himself up with his own erection jokes. He's cracking himself up. Enormous. Huge. That's Jay playing those still. I'm one hot for teacher from San Diego. Not too much. Back up Woodsy on this because I'm the same way. I'm a married man. I love to look good for my wife. But when we actually go out with each other, it's kind of like a... You want people to be like, oh, you know, look how good they look. You know, he's got a great wife. She's got a great husband. They look great together. That's personally why I do it. Thank you. Thank you for the call. Keep telling yourself that. I know. Bunch of BS. It's not. Yeah, right. Have you seen how I dress when I leave the house? I look like a turd. I'm going to say something when these mics are off and you're going to go, oh, yeah, I forgot. Why are you looking at me like that? Because I'm trying to think of what the hell it is. It was in the bathroom. Oh, boy. Weird. Really weird. Hey, Woodsy turned me on to this YouTube sensation, Sexy Sax Man. I'll tell you about it when we come back. Mikey Show coming up. I think we have it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. Ruh-roh. F-roh.
This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like Friday night, Aloe Black will be at the Belly Up, and Saturday night, System of a Down are playing Cricket Wireless. Transfers at the Casbah on the 27th. June 1st, it's Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra at Soma. And June 5th... The FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, which is now sold out. Meat Puppets play the Casbah June 14th. Matt and Kim in the Thermals are at House of Blues June 16th. And you can see a perfect circle at the Open Air Theater July 26th. July 30th is that big show L.A. Rising at the L.A. Coliseum with Rage Against the Machine, Muse, and Rise Against, just to name a few. Big Sonic Chill presents Sia at House of Blues August 11th. Death Cab for Cutie. Hit the Remack August 16th, 311, and Sublime with Rome. Play Cricket Wireless August 19th, and you can see Kings of Leon there on September 4th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com.
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Yes, they did. Denny's put bacon on ice cream, covered it with maple syrup. A maple bacon sundae. Just one of seven new dishes during Baconaglia. Denny's celebration of bacon. Come in now or anytime. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 loop oil and filter replacement. For United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family, see your dealer for details. Well, it looks like the 805 northbound La Jolla Village Drive. There is an accident here over on the right shoulder. It's a car and a semi. 94 westbound before 47th Street, an accident. And the 94 westbound before the 805, we've got a disabled car. It's over on... On the right shoulder, you're backed up to College Grove Way. Stays pretty slow all the way to the 15. This report also brought to you by McDonald's. It's back. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks, just 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to The Mikey Show.
With Mikey. I'm not good at pretending to be guyish. Lauren. My women's intuition has never steered me wrong. Oh, boy. Never. Woods. Well, welcome to the two adults. I'm a cuddle bug. Zienna. I've never been on a school bus. Well, welcome to the two adults. And Jake. Hey, I like to skateboard. On FM 94.9. I'm going to tell you about the sexy sax man here in a minute. Zienna, what's going on in the news? Would you like to know how much the Obamas are worth? No. I do. Financial disclosure documents were released by the White House yesterday and showed the assets held between Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, are valued between $1.8 to $12 million. Oh, wow. Kind of a wide, broad range. Are you guessing? Yeah. But a lot of the royalties are from Obama's books, Dream from My Father and Audacity of Hope. That was a big part of the money that were valued between $1 million and $6 million, just those books. That's a lot.
Also, the rapper M Bone, he's from the group Cali Swag District, died on Sunday night in what police said was a drive-by shooting in his hometown of Inglewood. He was known for the song Dougie, the Dougie. Woods knows all about it. I know how to Dougie. You know how to Dougie? Yeah, that's the song he's known for. He's 22 years old and he died later at the hospital. So sad story. Yeah. What's going on in sports? Well, you know, the show on HBO called Hard Knocks, which is an awesome, awesome show. They dive into an NFL football team in the preseason. They show the guys that are going to get cut, the guys that are on the bubble. It's really, really cool. So they reached out to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and said, hey, we'd love to have you on Hard Knocks. And they said, nope, no thanks. They want to focus on football. I thought it was pretty cool, man, because it is a big distraction. I saw the Cowboys go through it. Last year was the Jets, I believe. They went through it. So they're still looking for another team. The Jets didn't do that badly. No, they didn't do that badly, but it was, boy, it was a distraction for a while, was it not? Yeah, I mean, I guess. The Bengals. I think it's good for a team. Personally, I would love it. What if it was the Chargers? I would love it, dude. I would love to see the Chargers on hard knocks. Yeah, it'd be cool for us. I want to see behind the scenes. Behind the scenes, yeah.
I do. I do. But as a team you root for, you're like, let's focus up. You know what I mean? Also, Tiger Woods pulled out of a tournament last week. He had hurt his knee, but he said he will be ready for the U.S. Open, which is in a couple of weeks in Washington, D.C. at the Congressional. So he irritated the knee and his Achilles. He did not make them worse, but says he's going to play. And my question is, does it really matter? Is he really that relevant anymore? I know, right? He's not winning. That's the deal, and he hasn't been for a year and a half. Yeah, long time. There's this guy that calls himself the sexy sax man, and he knows one riff, and it's that riff that you just heard. He knows that on the sax, and he can just do it over and over again. It's the greatest. And what he does is he's become very famous on YouTube because he'll go to public places, like the food court at a mall, and somebody videotapes him. And he'll run into the middle of the food court. Now, the guy's got a mullet, and he's usually wearing no shirt but suspenders. Good look. And, like, tight leather pants. And he always drops to his knees and plays that riff. And he gets kicked out of places, you know. They're like, get out of here. Beat it. And the guy that's filming will be like, he's the sexy sax man.
And they're like, I don't care. Get out, you know? And they're like, but he's the sexy sax man. I don't know who the sexy sax man is. Get out. And he's like, okay, but what about this? And right when the guy is about to lose his mind and kick him out, they're like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did we mention this? The greatest. Ron Artest, I guess, just ran into him somewhere in Los Angeles. and had this to say about Sexy Saxman. Well, you know, I heard about the Saxman. He got a lot of views, you know. I was a big fan of the Saxman until he came with those spandex and those straps while I was eating, you know, my suicide. What's it called? What's that burger thing that I think they cut? The suicide is the best appetizer probably in L.A. And I'm eating my food, suicide shrimp. My suicide shrimp. And the Saxman came with little greased up nipples and you know, disturbing me.
You know what I'm saying? So I was ready to pop one of the straps and maybe hit us back real hard and get a little twitch. I didn't want to do that. Thank you, Ron. Thanks, Ron. Very articulate. Does he have a... Does sexy sax man have pierced nipples? I don't know if they're pierced. He said greased. He said pierced. I thought he said greased. I think he said greased. You don't want the straps to chafe your nipples as you're running around the mall. Nothing worse. Yeah, it's a true statement. It's hard to deal with. The sax man is one of my favorite YouTube things I've ever seen, bar none. It's incredible. If you haven't seen it, go to YouTube. Yeah, now, the only thing that I don't care for about the sax man is the thrusting. Sometimes he does this thrusting thing. He does do some thrusting. And it's unnecessary to me. Yeah, the riff alone. The riff alone is good enough. It's funny enough. And the best is, like you said, when they're kicking him out and he launches into that riff.
pushing him out the door. He's still playing that riff. It's incredible. Nothing's working right today. It's weird. Man. Everything's busted. Yeah. Having problems with the web? Stream. Having problems with... Podcasts. My YouTubes and the podcasts? Podcasts. What's going on? It's got gremlins. Okay, what else can I tell you? Oh, hey, remember we were talking about that mother... Who had her kid, her eight-year-old kid, get Botox because she was putting her in pageants? Yes. Remember that? Of course. Talk about it. Well, okay.
This girl is eight years old in pageants. Her mother was not even taking her to the doctor to have Botox administered, which is what needs to be done. She knew someone who was who worked. It was like a nurse or something and was able to get Botox for her. Right. So this mother went on Good Morning America last week and admitted to waxing her eight year old daughter's legs and giving her Botox. Oh, we got a call from some lady from Oceanside said she tans her kid. Well, after this happened, the San Francisco Human Services Agency launched an investigation into this mother after she admitted. doing something so horrific, you know? And they said, well, injecting eight-year-olds with Botox is certainly grounds for an investigation. And the mother was removed from custody. She no longer has custody of the eight-year-old as of right now. All they're saying is the girl is now safe and stable in a home away from her mother. And then someone has said that has good knowledge that the eight-year-old is doing well, but there's no more details being... Freaking sad. Yeah, it's insane. When it happened, I said, I think that there's something psychologically wrong with that lady. Yeah, absolutely. Like she's Lulu. I mean, that hurts. Botox is, it sends, you know, it's sharp pains. Not just the needle is bad enough going through the face, but the after effects from the Botox, your face is swollen afterwards. It's bad. I'm sure there's a lot of ways to do it wrong, too, and cause a lot. Especially in the back alley. Yeah, she's not a doctor. That's why I'm lucky I don't have to do it. No, I never would.
Never have to. Don't have wrinkles. Perfect skin. Perfect everything. You know what the word chiseled means? Yeah. Just look right here. Chiseled. The makers of Botox asked me, how can we get your secret? Yeah, and I said, fine, you can have my DNA. I'll submit it. As soon as I'm down at Pfizer. I'll fly down. Again. Again. It's going to cost you $4 million. I can name a price, though, because... Where else are you going to get it? Can't get it from anywhere. That's what I'm telling my wife. Where are you going to go, babe? Where are you going? You ain't going to get nothing better than this. It don't get no better. Oh, for goodness sake. Lauren has some list of... You have that list of what men notice first? I gave it to Sienna. She gave it to me. Let me see. Is this a list of what... What we notice or what they notice? What women notice on men. Breasts. That's the other way. Well, they notice you right away. What you get? What you get was... It hurt. What do you notice? My eyes. Your eyes. No, the first thing they notice is a man's smile. Really? Mm-hmm. Oh, terrible.
Mm-hmm. Wiener time. The second thing is the way the man carries himself or how confident he is, which I absolutely agree with. Mm-hmm. Don't confuse that with arrogance, though. Yes. It's a fine line. Why are you making that face, Mike? What face? The vomit face. When she said the confidence thing. I was imitating a person that has no confidence in slumping their shoulders. I'm going... Why are you blanking me? The third thing that women notice on a man is their hands, and they want men who have strong hands, manly hands, but with clean fingernails. Like these. All right? Look in here. You need a visual? You need a visual? Yeah. See this studio window? Pretend it's a picture. A painting. I'm a hand model. Remember those country crack commercials with only the hands? That's me. That's me. Remember the palm olive? You're soaking in it. It looked like a lady's hand, but what they did, they put fake nails on my hand. Home Shopping Network. That's me. Isotoner gloves. It wasn't Dan Marino. It was Jay Isbell. I wasn't going to mention this. I have been a hand stand-in for Brad Pitt. Mona Lisa. Mona Lisa. I also did Butt for Brad Pitt, too. I did Butt for him on a couple films. There's a few movies where it looks like George Clooney. It's my stomach. I even did Denzel Washington.
Yeah, I could. How'd you do that? Yeah, they painted me up. I get tan if I stand next to a light bulb. Perfect melatonin. Perfect. Melatonin? I got Denzel melatonin. Melanoma. Melanin. Melanin. The fourth thing that women notice on men is their smell. Oh, yeah. You're good there. Mike, you're really big on the smell. How about my... I have very small hands. So, no, you're out. But... They're not strong. They're too small. That's not the truth, though, Woods. They said strong hands. Strong hands does not necessarily have clean fingers. Oh, yeah. I know. You're good. They're just very dainty. Just because they're small doesn't mean that they can't be strong. It's not the size of your hands. Your hands are very, like, delicate. Mike, you use lotion and stuff. I don't use lotion. You do. Don't you? You do too, Woods. I use it on my face. Snickling over there. Woods uses more lotion on his hands than anyone I've ever met. You have great hands, Mike, but they're not the toughest of hands. Don't throw your pen at me. Don't throw your pen. I dare you. Put your hand up next to mine. Why? So I can show how small I am? It's not about size. It's not about size. I know. I want to see. Mike, I want the girls in the room.
To just kind of know anatomically how tiny you are. Are your hands that small? Your hands don't even look small. No, they're not. They're just about the same size as Woods. You have to have a strong shake. If you meet a guy at the bar and he's like, nice to meet you, and he's all limp-wristed, you're like, eh. You ever shake hands with a guy and he grabs your fingers? You know who did that? Dale Earnhardt Jr. You're kidding. That's surprising. Shake's hands kind of twinkly. Nobody likes a weak handshake. Guys or girls. Get in there and make it right. Whoa. She's talking straight at me today or what? Let the big bear get his paws on you. And the fifth thing women notice on men are their eyes. I think this is out of order. You don't notice hair? Yeah, it seems strange. Hair? Yeah. Hair, beautiful hair. Top face. How about weight? Don't women look at it and go, that guy's kind of frumpy? It was supposed to be the first thing that catches your eye, not the first thing that turns you off. How about that little guy hanging over the belt? Put your shirt down. You know what, ladies? Guys don't look at your boobs first. Yes, they do. No, they don't. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. Boobs and butts. Boobs and eyes and butts. What do you think, Mike? Eyes. Eyes? Eyes first, boobs second. That's just because you have to. Okay, but still... Still a true fact. She had eyes? Still a true fact. You look at the eyes first.
My eyes always go, how you doing? I never do. Oh, boy, that's creepy. I know, I'm a creep. Before you come up to us, though, you've noticed the boobs because you haven't seen the eyes up close. It's true. So boobs first. 570-1949. That's good news for me. Butt, too. Body type. Bam. Don't even with that stuff. Listen, ladies, you don't need it. No. Just show them off. Let them flow. Lauren O'Brien made a sarcastic comment about a boob job the other day. I had a dream. I had a dream. Woods goes, maybe make that right. Maybe try that out. He said that to me at least half a dozen times when I've mentioned the word boob job. If you did it, I would just support you because I'm your friend. What a jerk. I'm your friend. Support me does not include getting to feel them out and test. Fine. It also doesn't mean that you say to her. That's not a friend. While you're chewing on a piece of plastic, it also doesn't mean chewing on a piece of plastic and looking at her going, maybe make that right. Make it right. If you want to. It doesn't need it. Absolutely not. In the dream, they exploded and were causing all kinds of problems. They do that. And you say, maybe make that right. Sometimes you have to roll the dice.
Maybe you get a boob job. I might. He doesn't have to. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. You don't need it, Lauren. Oh, boy. Don't need it. You have to stare at the boobies, kiddie. That's a great piece of audio. Best breakfast cereals? Oh, yeah. Hey, by the way, I heard they stopped making Cap'n Crunch. No. It can't be true. Somebody told me that. What? They said .com? Somebody .com. Why would they do that? I don't know. Why would they do that? We've got to go to they.com for now. The berry crunch was no good. But peanut butter. No, it's stupid too. It's the best. Just regular everything. Crunch berries. Crunch berries. Okay. Numero uno. Cheerios. Stupid. Plain old Cheerios. Stupid. Disgusting. Tastes like feet. Gross. Tastes like oats. Oats. Just nothing. It tastes like nothing too. You're going to hate this list. Oh my God. Stupid list you made, Sienna.
I didn't make it. You wrote this list this morning. I came in. She was writing this list. Regular flavored Cheerios. Filthy. Does anybody do that? No. Yes. For babies, Sage eats them. Every toddler in America. Chris, you do that? Do you put sugar in it? What's the matter with you? Bananas. Disgusting. That's so filthy. Just Cheerios with nothing on it. Milk. This list is... Good tasting and better for you. It's not good tasting. It's not good tasting. Honey Nut Cheerios. That's good. It's loaded with sugar. Yeah, that one also made the list. It also did make the list. And it's semi-healthy, right? Yeah, it's good for your cholesterol. It's good for your heart and your cholesterol. Honey Nut Cheerios. Apple Jacks. Delicious. Like Apple Jacks. Oh, Mamacita, those are good. Me too. They're saying that's the best fruity cereal. The best cocoa cereal is organic cocoa crispy brown rice. I don't care. Never even heard of it. Just try to torture your kids. Oh, God. Never just caution it up. Just torture them. The best marshmallow cereal is... Lucky Charms. Three Sisters Marshmallow Odie's. That's like Henry's. How come you made this list? Why would you write this stupid list? If I made this list, it would be like Frosted Mini Wheats, Lucky Charms. Why did you just bring your grocery list in to work with you, Sienna, and call a new story? The best cinnamon squares, Total Cinnamon Crunch. Good. The best high fiber...
Is fiber one original. Oh, God. Those look like pretzels. The best flax. I love you. Yeah. Nature's Path organic flax plus multi-brand. It's like gravel. Lauren has it right now. Nature's Path. Same brand, but I went for the hemp plus. Oh, boy. The best kids cereal. I can't believe they've sold a box of that. One box. Oh, it's delicious. It's good. I bought it in the pumpkin flavor. I have the pumpkin flax at home. What about the squash flavor? Have you tried that? You're going to eat your words and that pumpkin flax. Really? Have you got the new zucchini one yet? The best kids cereals, Mike, you've probably seen this in your house. They're EnviroKids Organic Gorilla Munch. Oh, yeah, that's good. Looks like Kix, kind of those little puff balls, but it has a gorilla on it.
What's happening to our society? I know. We're getting healthier because we have obesity as like the number one killer. We just have a bowl of cereal, man. Just have one bowl of cereal. Gosh, fine. Lucky Charms are killed at anybody. Seems to be working for you guys. A bunch of fats. I'm about to give us some more nutrition lesson, fatty. I don't know. Just bring me some Fats Domino. I know your favorite cereal. Yeah, I bought Fatios. Fat Flakes. Today's not Fat Tuesday, it's just Tuesday. I'm not frosted mini fats. Perfect for you, Mikey. Okay, fat. Special fat. Lucky fat, lucky fats. Cookies and fat cream. Little fat elves making it in Kiva land with fat toast. Just imagine Oompa Loompa is only fatter. Instead of General Mills, it's General Fat. Frosted fats. Fat one. Tony the Fat Tiger. Tony the Fat Tiger.
Trying to tie your dad at obesity and a blown-up heart. Tricks are for fatties. Play name that tune, 570-1949. Call us right now, and the object here is that you're going to pick me, Sienna, Woods, or L.O.B. You get to select which one of us you want. And we'll use our name as a buzzer. 570-1949. Think you got something worth adding to the Mikey Show? Thanks, Nostradamus. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. No. Call Mikey now. 570-1949. There he is, the Prince of Canada. Mikey. More coming up on FM 94.9. Make your weekends even hotter at SeaWorld with Viva La Musica this Saturday and Sunday. This fiery festival celebrating Hispanic heritage is coming to a close, and you don't want to miss it. Experience Latin culture all around with savory, authentic cuisine, local entertainment,
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On the 163 northbound ramp to the 8 westbound, an accident. There it is on the transition. Heading into the 5 southbound, Sorrento Valley Road, an accident. Car went over the side of the on-ramp, landed in a ditch. And Olive Hill Road at Shamrock Road, an accident. Car slammed into a tree. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. San Diego Toyota dealerships. They've got a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I got a box of, you know, stuff in the mail because I like to shop on the Internet. Lauren. I know all the rules. I just break them. Woods. I don't like to work out with people. I don't like to play video games with people, and I don't like to work out with them. Zienna. I made reservations for us last night. And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Neil Young. During. After the gold rush. Launch of the days. 70s and girls used to have the Marsha Brady hair. I wish the Marsha Brady hair would come back on girls. That was a big player in the 90s. Not anymore. LLB's doing the Jan Brady thing right now. Sweeping it around. Did you ever have the Marsha thing? The straight blonde? Yeah, but never split down the middle like hers was. That was a player in the 90s. On girls. I tried it and it looked really bad. Nah, it probably didn't. You probably thought it did.
It was before I knew how to style my hair. It was a big old frizzy mess. I used to feather my hair. Me too. When I had it. Me too. Feathered the crap out of it. Wings. Yep, wings. Wings it up. Mine feathered on its own when my mom got that mullet cut on my hair. It was like feathered in the front and then mullet in the back. Poor L.O.B. Sexy. Which explains a lot. Yeah. It really does. If my mom gave me a mullet, it would explain a lot. But she never did. If you had... Like, how would... Sienna's got hair. Lots of hair. Yeah. A horse mane. How would we feather it? Be tough. There was never any feathering. I know, but how could... I mean, like... I don't even know how to... That's what I'm saying. I don't know if you could feather her. It's too heavy because it's like... She's got really thick hair. Yeah, I can't... I can't do anything to mine. Curl it, falls. If I had hair, I would try to do what they did in the 70s just to, like, bring that look. Maybe I'll get that done. Maybe you could do this. Feather that. Oh, yeah. You could feather that. Yeah, I think you could, Woods. Well, feather it before we give you a fryer's cut. When you get your... Woods' hair is growing out pretty good. When it grows out a little bit more, let's feather it. I'll get a permanent if you want. Wow. I'd get a permanent. Oh, that'd be great. See what it looked like? Can you still get permanent? Oh, my gosh. If he had a perm... Do they still give perms? I'm sure they do. Do they? I'll get a permanent for the show. They'll be fine. I got a body wave when I was in high school. Right at that time.
But it was actually a perm. You told everyone it was a body wave. Well, that's what I asked for. Oh. And they gave you a permanent. Yeah. Call it a permanent because it's much funnier. They gave me a perm. Permanent. I went to get a body wave. They gave me a permanent. Oh, my God. Right there. Huh. I look like a fat guy with curly hair. That's awesome. You sure weren't going to look like a skinny guy with curly hair. Hairing will make a difference. All right. Let's play name that tune. M1 Rick from Escondido. Who would you like to select for Name That Tune? I will take Woods, please. You got it. Hang on the line. He has officially switched over. Yeah, he has. M1 Castile from Escondido. Who do you want? Yeah. Hang on the line. M1 Rebecca from San Diego. Who do you want? Of course. Your name's Rebecca. Your wife can't pick you. That's not fair. And then finally, M1 Justin from Coronado. Who would you like to select? Sienna. Lucky. Lucky. Thanks, guys. All right. We use our name as a buzzer. What's the theme?
It's songs with body parts in them. And what might the person win today? They might win a four-pack of tickets to the San Diego County Fair. All right, cool. Songs with body parts. Songs with body parts. Start. Title or artist. Title or artist will work. What is it? What is it? Go. Here we go. Mikey. Lauren. Fergie, you're Black Eyed Peas. Throw a bunch of names out. That was her singing with the Black Eyed Peas. That's right. My hopes. Here we go. Woods. What corner shop? What is that? Who? Friendful of Asher. Everyone needs a bosom for a pillow? He was just thrusting in the most inappropriate way. That was the grossest thing. Freak dance thrust. Here we go. Mikey. Britney Spears. Damn it. Hold it against me. Lauren's frustrated. Good luck on this one. Woods. Woods. See, uh...
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? Dang it. Can I guess the band? It was either the Gatlin Brothers or the Statler Brothers? Bellamy. Bellamy Brothers. Easy. I got the title. Mike and Lauren won Woods too. If I said... Woods. That's Motley Crue. I hate when you guys do that. Here we go. Mikey. Damn it. ACDC. Wow, that was good. Here we go. ZZ Top. Oh. Yeah, it was Woods. I beat him. You know, even Mikey closed his eyes. I play better when I close my eyes. Do you? Yep. Seems to be working. How dare you? Here we go. Mikey. Really? Mikey? That new bit. Sienna! It's, uh, Cisco. Sienna! Hold on, let me give him this. Yeah! It's low. Baby got low, low, low, low. That's not the, uh... It's called Lauren. The song's called Low, isn't it? It is called Low. It's not the way... Lauren! Lauren? Flo Rider.
Nope. Stop it! Take one away. It's called Low. And yourself. Is it? It's called Low. It's Flo Rida. Low. Okay. Because when I looked it up, it was apple bottom jeans. It's called Low. It's called Low. Okay. I'll give it to you. But wait. Who's it by then? Flo Rida, isn't it? It says T-Pain. Okay. Well, it's wrong. So I don't get a minus. Huh. Go ahead. Well, I'll look up. You go ahead. Well, that's not fair. Is it? Don't give me a minus. Hang on. It's not T-Pain. That's what it said. The one I looked up. Excuse me. Oh, boy. I think you're right. Lowrida. Lowrida. Lowrida. Lowrida. That's so weird. That's Flowrida. So Lauren keeps her point, and I get a point. Yes. You both get a point. No, I don't get one. I just get one. And it's Flowrida featuring T-Pain. Oh, okay. So there you go. So there you go. And what's the name of the song? Is it his? Lowrida? It is called Lowrida. Okay, here we go. What? Darn it! That's Lady Gaga. I'm still talking about the teeth. I know. She was fluffing with her muffin. Oh, wow. Here we go. Mikey, Lauren, Sienna, one, Woods, five. Oh, wow. Okay. Don't stifle a laugh. It's even more insulting when you stifle the laugh. Okay, are you ready? Here we go. Mikey! Oh, no! With Elton John. No! Yeah. Here we go.
Okay, these next ones are going to be worth three points apiece. Good, good, good, good. Here we go. Woods. Van Morrison. Dang it. I'm going to pass everybody right here. Go, Mike. Mikey. Get up. Mikey. Rodney Carrington. Yes, Mike. Wow. Wow. That's a three-pointer. That's crazy, Mike. It's a song about boobs, too. Show them to me. Yeah. Wow. That's your song with your husband. It is. And you couldn't get it. It was almost a song for our wedding, but we decided it was inappropriate. He's funny. I love it. All right, here we go. Mikey. Really? Lauren. Mikey. Three, two, one. It's minus three. Lauren. Katy Perry. All right, now Lauren's up to four. Woods has nine. Mike and Sienna have one. Yeah. You guys good. I'm going to wreck you've made a wise choice, my friend. Nice. Traitor. Traitor.
Listen, Woods did it again. Guy's brain works a half second quicker than everybody else's when it comes to this game. Thank God. Thank you. Hang on. Peace. Peace. Because I'm gonna. That game is not as easy as it seems. Although there's people that probably play in their car that do really good. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm going to try my old bit of looking away that used to work. Yeah. Try whatever you want. Try it. Try it. Jay printed me some cool. Odds. The possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,721. Never tell me the odds. Odds of bowling a 300 game. Do you know what it is? One in 11,500. Wow. Who would think it would be that hard?
What's your best? 200? You bowled a 200? Yeah, it was the best I've ever done in my life. Holy cow, dude. I bowled like a 175 once. I never bowled below 200. I never bowled below 300. Not even the time that I tried for the first time. Yeah, one time I broke my arm on purpose just to make it fair. Still got a 300. Yeah, bowled a 300 with my left hand. Actually, one time I just used my foot and rolled it up there. Odds of getting a hole in one are 1 in 5,000. Got it. You got a hole? I got a hole in one. Really? Yeah, man. It was incredible. The most incredible, one of the most incredible feelings I've ever had in my life. And you know what I shot that day? 110. 110, 111. Miniature golf doesn't count. No, it's real golf. By drinks for everybody? I was in the paper. No, I didn't. You want to hear, can I digress for a second? It's a pretty funny story about my dad. They had this thing at the country club called the Hole in One Club. You donate a dollar. Let me say that again. A dollar a month. to the hole-in-one club if you so choose. And if you hit a hole-in-one, you win the money. You win the pot. My dad turned it down. Didn't want to spend a dollar a month. So I got the hole-in-one, would have collected the prize, and found out my dad was not a dollar-a-month subscribing member to the hole-in-one club. I would have cleared like three grand. Wait a second. Dollar a month. Why did he have to be your dad? Why wouldn't you? Because my dad was the member. And I was a dollar.
Hawk, I love you. I respect you, Hawk. I know you're listening. Hawk is... My dad? Woodsy's dad. I know you're listening. I respect you. I love you. A dollar. A dollar. And my dad's a damn good golfer. A dollar. He had as good a shot as anybody. One in 5,000 shots. Yeah, as anybody. And he ended up getting one years later on the same hole that I did, which is pretty rad. A dollar. A dollar. I would have cleaned up, dude. A dollar. A month. The odds of fatally slipping in the shower are one in 2,232. That's low. The odds of drowning in a bathtub, one in 685,000. Wow. Is that like for children? No, I think that's for anybody. There's a lot of accidents. That's not very, that's, the odds are for you. Oh yeah, that's high. But it's higher than you'd think. You thought it would be way more than that? Lower. Yeah. Like one in a million or something? A couple thousand. Yeah. A couple tens of thousand. Well, this is 685,000 to one. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were 685. You said 685. No, no, no. Out of every 685,000 people, one person is going to drown. In the bathtub. Yeah. Which, by the way, I can give you more of these later. Just saw a Dateline NBC with this guy that got convicted of killing his wife.
And it was a bathtub drowning. And I just thought, you know, I was watching. I'm like, how did he think he was going to convince people? Now, she did drown. But his biggest mistake when he was trying to cover it up was when the paramedics got there, her hair was wet and that was it. Think about it. Think about it. He took her out of the water to try to revive her. And he called 911. They have the 911 call. He's flipping out. My wife, I think she's drowned. I just found her face down in the bath. She's dry, except for her hair. So he leaned her over the side of the bathtub and dunked her head. Paramedics were like, immediately the paramedics were talking to the cops and they were like, she was dry. Her body was dry. And the cop was like, something's not right. How did he kill her?
I think he did drown her. He did. Yeah. But it was, he called later. No, he called immediately. But what his story to the, his story was. Dunked her head down in there. His story was, I came home and my wife, or I was downstairs watching football, came upstairs. My wife was dead in the bathtub. Holy cow. She drowned. And obviously people were like, well, how did that happen? And he said. She falls asleep all the time. And her friends even said she falls asleep all the time. And his mom had videotape of when they first met her. He brought her home to meet the parents. And his mom was videotaping. She's like, there's Susie asleep on the recliner. And his attorneys were trying to make this point of like, hey, listen.
If you came over to meet your boyfriend's parents and everybody's like having a good time and whooping it up, would you be asleep on the recliner like this? She clearly and they also had a photograph of her that her friends made such a big deal out of her falling asleep that they on her birthday one time gave her this little name tag. You know, when it says, hi, my name is and it said sleeper. And so you could see that he was like, he had that in his head and he's like, I think I can get away with this. All he would have had to do was just dunk her whole body in the tub, take her out and make the call. If he had done that, he probably never would have been caught. Seems like there'd be all kinds of bruises too where he had to hold her. There were some contusions on her neck, but the defense had plenty answers for all that. They had plenty of answers for all that. But he went through three trials. Because the first trial, he goes through the first trial, they convict him. And then his attorney found out that the jury, there was a couple of women on the jury, and they went home, took a bath, got out of the bath, and decided to see how long it would take for their bodies to air dry.
You can't do that. Can you not? You are not allowed to go home and experiment. And investigate and experiment. And they tell you that and they're real clear about that. Like you cannot do your own little, you know, test. Investigation. Yeah, because it's not like, it's not professionally done. It's not controlled. It's not controlled. It's your own little deal. And one of the jurors squealed, wrote the defense attorney and said, hey, I just want you to know. There was some monkey business going on in the jury. A couple of the chicks went home and tried to air dry. Wow. And the attorney was like, it was a bombshell. So he took that and got a new trial. They tried him again, but he was convicted again. So he goes back to jail, right? So then the third time, they try him the third time. This was crazy. So they try him the third time. The one thing that he really had going for him was no motive. They were married four months.
They were married for four months. So they had no, like there was no life insurance that he was getting. It was like there was no girl on the side. Like, why would he just kill her? They were like, what's the motive? In the third trial, some chick comes forward. And by the way, they go, they call for a third trial because they were trying to get this guy like way worse than they did. So they wanted a third trial. The prosecutors go, we won't want this guy again. And so they come back to trial and they're like, we have a star witness. And he's crapping his pants. He's like, what is, who, who, what, what, what? He doesn't know what it is. Nobody knows what it is. They're all waiting to see what it is. And it's this girl. And she gets up on the stand and she says, during the last trial, I saw this story on Dateline the first time it aired.
And I reached out to him and he confided in me one night on the phone that he killed his wife. And she's crying and she's like, and I can't let her poor family go through this anymore. Which probably would have worked except that she had a bad past and they found out about it and discredited her. And so it didn't work because they made her look like a hooah. And they were like, Why were you talking to him like that? You have a husband. Why would you be talking to him like that? So then during the middle of all of this trial, this chick from New York, at the very end of it, this chick from New York, she's pregnant with his kid. Same bit. Saw him on Dateline, wrote him. Hot blondes. They all look like his wife. All these girls. He was like, and so the attorney standing up in front of everybody, they're like, so did you basically turn your last trial into like a dating service? Were you basically like, you know.
Getting a bunch of chicks from, and he's like, no, yeah, no, it wasn't what it was like. It was just, you know. They're like, well, it seems like you're turning into a dating service. You got this girl pregnant? She says, yeah, I went to his house to stay with him and his parents for Thanksgiving, and we got intimate one night and didn't use protection. This was a chick that saw the guy on Dateline for the story of murdering his wife. Holy cow. Weird. Yeah, which would be crazy. Girl, like, it's so, like, this guy had. Tons of girls. They become celebrities. Yeah. And with all of them, he would be like, yeah, I just miss my wife so much, you know. Still no motive, though? The motive turned out to be, why did he kill her? No, he did have a motive. I can't remember what it is. Somebody saw it.
Somebody call 570-1949. Because I didn't plan on talking about it, but it was really good. I'm hanging on your words. Rebecca knows. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you what. We'll come back. I'll tell you why you killed her. You think you got something worth adding to the Mikey show? This is what they do. Number one. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. If we have any children, please step out. Or call Mikey now. Are you trying to make this sound bad? Because it sounds great. 570-1949. More coming up on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets.
FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubbies and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. If a car drove by recently that made you point and say, how cool, what is that? Chances are you spotted the all-new Ford Fiesta, quite possibly the perfect car for San Diego. Yeah, it's a pretty big deal. Sure, Fiesta's a compact car, but you don't have to compromise a thing. You'll get up to 40 miles per gallon on the highway. Hey, there are 21 hybrids that don't get that kind of MPG. Seriously. The interior looks like the cockpit of a Learjet. And it's quiet. Spooky quiet. If you dig technology, you'll dig this car. Fiesta's available with hands-free sync. Say a command, and it'll dial your phone and play your favorite tunes. You're going to want to show this car off to your friends. And feel free to brag about what you paid. Fiesta starts at just $13,320. So stop pointing, wondering, and wishing. What is that? Just come into any San Diego County Ford dealer and drive one. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com. EPA estimated 29 MPG city, 40 highway, 33 combined. Hybrid claim based on automatic SFE versus 2010 and 2011 hybrids. MSRP excludes tax, title, destination, and registration fees. Optional equipment not included. See dealer for details. Hello, gang.
It is your old pal Woodsy here for Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. It has been a really, really good year for me. Going to get LASIK surgery last year has really made a dramatic impact on my life. I don't have to wear contacts. I don't have to buy solution. I don't have to wear glasses and go get my eyes checked all the time. Dr. Sandy T. Feldman was absolutely incredible. Fixed my eyes right up. You know who else's eyes she fixed? Tony Hawk. This kid's in pretty good company. That guy's kind of a badass, all right? Give him a call, 858-452-3937. Happy birthday. Or you can check him out online at www.clearvieweyes.com. Go in there, get a free consultation, talk to Dr. Feldman. She's going to take a look at you and make sure you're a good candidate for LASIK. So tell him what he sent you. Get in there today, 858-452-3937. Online, clearvieweyes.com. How charming. So I'm at the theater with my mom and sister, who somehow convinced me to see the latest Victorian romantic love tragedy film. But at least I have an ice-cold Coke. Well, I had an ice-cold Coke. Now I'm down to that last part where if I try to drink it, there's a good chance it'll make things quiet. So I'm waiting for an action scene to cover the slurp. And waiting for the action scene. And waiting.
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We'll be there to answer your questions. OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 for your special introductory discount. Ovation can work for you, too. This is the sound of Becky using a deposit-friendly ATM from Chase. So, I just push the deposit checks button and slide these checks right in the slot. This is the sound of Jane depositing checks at her bank's ATM. Ugh, I gotta lick this envelope. Ow! Becky. And I get a picture of my checks on the receipt to confirm. Jane. I got a paper cut on my tongue. Becky. Okay, I'm done. Jane. Excuse me, can I borrow your pen again? I forgot to put my account number on the envelope. Say goodbye to deposit slips and envelopes with Chase Deposit Friendly ATMs. A faster way to deposit checks, even cash. Deposit up to 30 checks and 50 bills at a time. Just slide them in. And with a picture of your check on your receipt, you know that your deposit is safe and secure. Now that's a step forward. Thank you. Here's a pen back. Deposit-friendly ATMs from Chase. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Deposits are subject to the fund's availability policy. See a banker for details. JPMorgan Chase Bank N.A. Member FDIC. New. Youthful. Innovative. Lots of words mean fresh. Add Mercedes-Benz to the list.
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This report is brought to you by California Grown. California Grown foods do great things for a state's economy, adding nearly $16 billion a year. That's over $430 for every person in the state. Be Californian. Buy California Grown. On the 94 eastbound 28th Street, this is an injury accident. You're backed up to G Street. Three-car accident. One car's going the wrong way. They've got all lanes blocked right now. Also in Escondido, the 15 northbound before Valley Parkway, another multi-vehicle crash. It's got the slow lane block. And you do have some delays on the 905 eastbound from the 5 to the 805. This report brought to you by San Diego International Airport. Terminal 2 parking. It's now located just west of the airport. Follow the signs along Harbor Drive. They'll lead you straight to the new lot. Free shuttle service, too. Add just $9 a day during May. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like rain, I like sunshine. Lauren. If you don't use it, you lose it. Woods. I got one word for you, dude. Get. Sienna. I was a really good student. And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. All right, so I remembered what the deal is. And I'll tell you right after this. What's going on in news, Sienna? Crazy story. Timothy Ray Brown, a name you may be hearing.
from in the future, tested positive for HIV back in 1995, has now entered scientific journals as the first man in world history to have the HIV virus completely eliminated from his body. Wow. Yes, he is now free of AIDS. How? free. This is crazy. Okay, so scientists said that Brown received stem cells from a donor who was immune to HIV. Now, I guess about 1% of Caucasians are immune to the virus, HIV. Now, they're saying researchers think that the immunity gene goes back to the Great Plague when people who survived the plague passed their immunity down to their heirs who have it today. And so they say scientists say that if you're able to take the white cells from someone and manipulate them so that they're no longer infected or infectable by HIV, those white cells become the whole immune system of that individual. And then you have an essentially a functional cure. It's very confusing. We get rid of AIDS. Can't get rid of the flu.
But it all goes down to stem cells. So it's just, it's crazy. This guy is free of AIDS. I just, that's nuts for me. It's pretty crazy. I got those sales, Mike. Oh, I survived the plague. You heard that 1%? Survived AIDS. You're looking at it. Yeah. I've had AIDS four or five times. Yeah, I remember the start of the plague. Yep. Middle of the plague, end of the plague. I didn't even get a sniffle during the plague. No. I used to watch people. I'd go, man, it's so bad for you. Well, that sucks. Suck it up. Have some orange juice. Edgar. I'm going to miss you. See you later. Mildred. Mildred. You're my best. Tabitha. Bye-bye now. And also, it is the end of an era. The Sahara Casino in Las Vegas closes its doors today due to just financial things. But it opened in 1952. The Sahara hosted everyone from Elvis to Jerry Lewis to Frank Sinatra to the Beatles. Marilyn Monroe, she was there. Oh, yeah. She's a hottie. I got it. Yes, times are tough right now, and especially in Las Vegas. So the Sahara is closed. Why shut your eyes, Mike? I got it. Ain't no big deal. All right, Jay. I taught Kennedy everything you knew. That's right. I was in the room. Hey, what's happening in sports, Woodsy?
If you hadn't heard, the Padres have won three in a row. Yeah. And tonight they will take on the Diamondbacks. And that is at 6.40 p.m. It is Tim Stauffer against Daniel Hudson. And also, this was an interesting story out of Phoenix. Rick Welts is the CEO of the Phoenix Suns basketball team. He just came out of the closet. And he is really kind of the first. Big name, high profile guy that still works for the organization or any organization that has come out as a gay man. And he basically said, you know, hey, listen, if there was a chance to do some good for young people who are struggling with their own issues and wondering whether or not they could pursue their passions and have a chance to have a successful career, whether that was team sports or something else. That's why he did it. Hey, if you haven't heard Arnold Schwarzenegger, big bombshell news on him is that he was having an affair. uh with maria shriver with somebody that was a household employee yes a household staff who a woman that worked for them for 20 years and apparently he told maria about the scandal earlier this year where she immediately moved out and left but they they made the announcement of their separation on may 9th and uh it's it's just insane yeah
Yeah. So I remembered this guy. So the Dateline story where the lady dies in the bathtub. It's not even this girl. She's probably like in her 20s and he's in his 20s. 24. 24 years old. They were married like four months. And he says, yeah, I'm watching a preseason Cincinnati Bengals game. I come upstairs and she's dead in the bathtub. And, you know, she used to fall asleep all the time. And so she just fell asleep and, you know, drowned. Problem is, is that she wasn't. Her body was out of the water and she was dry. She didn't have any water on her. And the paramedics made this note of like, well, if he pulled her out of the bathtub, she'd be wet still. Well, anyway, one of the really difficult things was motive. Why would he kill her? And as they started to look into his life, what they found was that he was on a lot of porn websites looking to. hook up like he was going on these websites that were like to hook to hook up with people and uh so they believe that she confronted him about it and was like what are you doing and he flipped out now it was a trip too because the way that they met was through a porn website not through a porn website the way that they met was that uh
She, the girl, the wife, had a buddy. And the buddy worked with her. And she said, hey, my husband's college roommate. You might be interested in him. And that's who it was. You always think that that's the biggest stamp of approval. A friend of a friend. Well, on Dateline, you know, obviously this girl is saying, oh, we believe that Ryan is innocent. You know, and the roommate, the old roommate thinks, and you know, Rebecca and I are talking about it. It's like, yeah, because you feel guilty. Otherwise, you'd be like, I got her killed. That's how you sleep at night. That's how you sleep at night. It's by Sandy's Innocent. Dude. But yeah, I mean, just creepy. Makes me so nervous. So nervous. To watch those shows. Those things make me so...
nervous and sad. They just always make me sad. My wife is obsessed, which is why she may kill me someday. She knows how now because she watches a lot of CSI, a lot of Dateline, a lot, you know, Bones, whatever. They can get their hands on there watching. I know how to be careful with forensics. Oh, my God. Did you hear that, Matt? Well, that's why you date for years and years and years and years before you get married so you can kind of really know who you might be getting into. Oh, is that what you're doing? Marriage with. Years. Matt. Okay. Years. Oh, my God. Just saying. Times when you don't really know somebody, so you got to make sure you know them. Longer than it's ever been. Matt's eyes are just clenched shut right now. Poor guy. He's poured himself a drink. He's poured himself a drink. You guys are the ones that, like, read into what I'm saying. I'm just saying that's what I'm doing. All I'm saying is...
Just make sure it's sugar before you sprinkle it on your pancakes. Yeah, I would too. I might get somebody to do taste tests for me. A little pH stick. L.O.B., Woods' wife Jamie, and my wife Rebecca, they're not going to kill us without nobody finding out. No question. Problem is I brought him into my world. I watch 48 hour or what's the first 48 and I brought him into the world. So now he knows some tricks too. Yeah. I might not be able to pull such a fast one. Yeah, women poison. That's what women's big bit is. Number one fear. I don't want it. There's less cleanup that way. I don't think they can overfeed you till your hearts explode. You can do that yourself, fatty. Give me food. Where did that come from? I think I figured it out. I think Rebecca's trying to kill him. Slowly. Slowly. I walked in there, I saw a pan of brownies. Two pans of brownies and a slate of cookies. All right.
That's what she's trying to do. Hey, Mike, I'll tell you how good of a friend I am to you. I confronted Rebecca. Nobody was around. I walked up to her. I said, I know what you're doing. Trying to kill him. Think you're all sweet. Look all sweet. Think you look all sweet. You're making that boy so fat that he's going to have heart. The filthiest crime scene I've ever seen, Mike, your kitchen. Your kitchen. First time I ever went over to Mikey's house, I wanted to put yellow police tape around the kitchen. It's a crime scene. Around that whole plate of brownies, that whole chicken. A slab of bacon. I was driving home, I said to Kim, you see that? That woman is trying to kill that fat tubular. She's a murderer. Dead man walking. Dead man walking. She's a murderer. Jay, why are you drawing a chalk line around Mikey right now? He's not dead yet. He's not dead yet. And why is that line... So big. So large circle. I need more Chuck. What's Chuck? I done run out of Chuck. Run out of Chuck three times. Had to go back and get more Chuck. Mike, you're so fat. I got to get so much Chuck just to make your death outline. You're Chuck full of lies, Mike. Chuck full of bacon. I want tacos and burritos. Chuck.
Yeah, I ran out of checkout line. Mikey walking upstairs. Easy. Take a breath, Mikey. Relax. Mikey. Come on. You're going to pull something. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Great. Well, they thought she was just as. sweet little blonde with a pair of twins. It turned out she was feeding this food crack addict so much food. His heart was nearly ready to explode. Just walking up the stairs turned into a labor job. This is actual audio of him.
Trying to make it to the refrigerator. Tacos, burritos. By the end of it, he was so fat his vocal cords squeezed his throat shut when he was asking for tacos and burritos. Give me food. Give me food. It's going to be okay. I'm working out. Well, the first trial, they brought out as evidence a piece of old pizza. Rebecca pretended to dab the tears away from her eyes. She couldn't hide all those receipts from Roundtable, though. Dab and dab as she may. She couldn't hide all the calories that had gone down one fat gullet. Turns out she belonged to the butter of the monk. She'd gotten so many types of butter each month. He dried them all. That's right, land and lakes. Yes, check.
Danish creamer. Oh, yes. Yes, check. Oh, I can't believe it tastes like butter. Oh, I can't believe it tastes like butter. She'd come up with new butters on her own. She'd ordered butter recipes. People thought she was into a butter fetish. It's butterific. She even borrowed a butter churn from Jay. And she borrowed some cocoa butter from Wood. Mikey ate it, even though it was, in fact, lotion. Oh, by the end, he had to be airlifted out of the house. Had to remove the roof. He was buried in it. I bet you somebody just wrecked their car. I'm not kidding. My eyes. Well, what we're trying to say is Mike's fat. Mike's fat, yo. In a nutshell. In a nutshell. All right, Woodsy has new releases that are out today. Right, Woodsy? Son of a gun. Come on now. Hi. You should print it or... He offered to take this job from me while I was gone. Maybe bookmark. Maybe bookmark.
Every week, every week I say, new release, he has to open his computer, power it up, let the internet load, go to the page, get to the deal. Do you want me to just take the job back? No, here's the deal. He does, okay, it's 919. Sometimes he'll do it at 955. Maybe print it. I know, it's my fault. I can't blame you. What do you want to do first? Do you want to do song? Let's do songs first. Yeah, we do that each time. Just to get it right. The new ones. You want to do the new music first. Yes. How about the new Ben Harper, Give Till It's Gone? Did Neil Young, Ben Harper? That sounded like Ben Harper. Different. It didn't sound like him. Very different. This one is a pretty crazy concept album by Danger Mouse and Daniel Lupe. It's called Rome. Lupe. Lupe. That's Nora Jones. Black White's also on the record, too. It's really good. A lot of it's instrumental. Really? Yeah.
It's a weird deal. You have to read about it. It's really strange. But Danger Mouse is this really phenomenal producer, and he's gotten these people to come in and do stuff with him. It's great. Danger Mouse is not a band? No. It's a producer. It's a dude. It's like Timbaland. Yeah, he's like Timbaland, except he has talent. Oh, wow. That was really heavy, wasn't it? Timbaland fans in here? I don't know. He's kind of successful. Yeah. Great. So was Liberace. Doesn't mean it's good. Well, successful. I mean, Liberace wasn't really a pop. So it's Britney Spears. Yeah. Whatever. The new Moby is out. I know you're very excited. Destroyed. Multiple ways. Shut up. Are you kidding? You're kidding. There's like six versions of the same song. That's awesome. It sounds like a nightmare. That concept. Six songs mixed six different ways. Terribly. Oh, wow. That's it for music today. And then out on DVD, The Roommate.
Leighton Meester. Sure. If you say so. It's her and this other pretty girl. The two great girls. The Right. Sounds like a nice movie to watch with a group of guys. The Right. Oh, that's that scary movie with Anthony Hopkins. Gosh, that looked petrifying. The Mechanic. That was with... I don't know. I forget. Who's in it? No idea. Okay. It's a very exhaustive list. Yeah. Something else. Vanishing on 7th Street. That do anything for you? How about the other woman? Did that get you at all? A lot of work on this list, huh? Yeah. I mean, I didn't write it. No, I know, but... Or research it? Yeah. Takedowns out? Oh, no. Oh, Beverly Hills Cops out on Blu-ray. Good thing.
That's Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy's in that one. All right. Research. Yeah. So that's, there you go. Okie dokie. Enjoy those. There they are. There they are for you. Formative. Laid it all out. Maybe Santa takes that back. Maybe give us Santa. Come on. I'll do it. I'll do better next week. Okay. I'll get it better. Groundhog Day. It's a good bit. It's just a bit. Groundhog Day. It's just a bit. It's just a bit. I got a great text. And I'm going to put this out there and then we're going to take some calls from you on it. 5701949. Well, it's funny because I almost didn't read it. I saw it and I'm like, eh. And I was going to throw it away and I'm like, nah, it's kind of funny. Mikey, help me. My boyfriend wears a visor everywhere. Is that from Kim? Jay, you do wear a visor. I like a visor. Every time he's out of the station, he's got a visor. Easy Steve Spurrier. Like the kind that Velcro. Easy John Gruden. I don't have a problem with the Velcro. I mean, with the visor. What's wrong with the visor? Sienna, what? What? I don't wear one, but there's nothing wrong with a visor. What's wrong with a visor? Why not just wear a hat? Because I don't want my head to be hot. How hot is your head getting? Boy, my head's on fire. The hats have little holes, don't they? Yeah, they have breathe holes, but not enough. It's like a convertible.
What if he wants to keep his face shaded? Yes. Wear a hat. You don't want to wear a baseball hat. Wear a hat. I don't want to. But you keep the heat in when you have a hat on. Yep. That's why tennis players wear visors. It's comfortable. Why do they wear visors? Because it's comfortable. Why don't the Texas Rangers who play in 150 degree weather wear a visor? You know why? Because it looks ridiculous. Because they play baseball, so they wear baseball caps. But it looks ridiculous. I'm not playing baseball. It's fitted. The visor would flip off. There's a bunch of visor dudes right now going, what's your problem? My problem is you look like a dork. Really? Yeah. I think the visor is one of those things that you just, you get to the point where you're like, okay, I just. I'm good enough. I don't care anymore. Like my dad, he's a visor kind of sewer. Mine too. Every time I go on vacation, I buy him a visor. What are you, VJ Singh? What are you, US Open this weekend? I don't know. Let's ask Jay. Are you VJ Singh? I am. Are you VJ Singh? I am. You look different. Just playing through. I think they're kind of all right. I think they're kind of cool, actually. I'm okay with it. I love them. Hey, listen. I see John Gruden wearing them, and I'm like, in. He looks cool. I see Bob Stoops wearing it, and it makes me sick to my stomach. Yeah, but he's Bob Stoops. Yeah, he looks ridiculous. I mean, that's Bob Stoops. He looks ridiculous. But Gruden, come on. Gruden doesn't look like a dork. I don't think. Chucky, you know Gruden? They call him Chucky. Yeah, because he looks like Chucky the monster from the horror movie. He's got, first of all, he has...
you know, $7 haircut and you throw the visor on top of that, the guy looks terrible. He went to super cuts. He went, give me the boys cut. 100%. Yeah. If I got you a visor, you would wear it? I don't know. I'd check it out. No, I can't. Short fat guys can't wear visors. I was going to just go by the Tommy Bahama store and see if they had stuff. Well, he's got that one, Sienna. Get him on something else. You're going to have to go to another store. Sienna, go to another store. He's got all those. You know damn well he does. I don't wear Tommy Bahama. Yes, you do. You do not wear Tommy Bahama. You're trying to branch out, really, from the Tommy Bahama. We'll go somewhere else. If you really want a visor, I know a couple people. But I don't wear Tommy Bahama. Right. You already have all those. You have a Tommy Bahama toothbrush. You have everything. You do. Even the toothpaste, which I didn't know they made. It's coconut flavor. My toothbrush is Oral-B. It's Oral-B. It's not Tommy. It's Tommy B. It's not Oral-B. It's coconut flavor. Tommy B. Tommy Bahama doesn't... Not that I know, but I don't know anything to us. He makes it for you. His number one stockholder. They call it Tommy Control.
This is the Mikey Show. The best. That's right. It's the best. You think you got something worth adding? Are you going to be careful here with what you say? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What is it? The Vatican? Or text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got people too, baby. More coming up on FM 94.9. 70 years ago, we set out on a journey. What began as a duty to our country became our legacy. Since then, every day brings a new adventure. Our name is written out there, in the sand, on every road. It's what defines us. It's what makes us who we are. Unique. There's only one of you, like there's only one of us. It's time to celebrate 70 years of legendary Jeep brand history. Come celebrate with us today and experience the all-new Jeep Compass, luxurious Jeep Grand Cherokee, and legendary Jeep Wrangler. We don't just make SUVs. We make history. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. During the Memorial Day sales event, lease Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x4 for $3.69 a month for 39 months with $24.99 due at least signing for well-qualified lessees. Tax, time, and license extra. Call 1-888-925-Jeep for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Allied Residency Restriction Supply. Take delivery by 531. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why?
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For a limited time, lease the BMW 528i sedan for $579 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Thank you. You know what? There's probably perfectly good trails right by where I live. I'm not getting on any of them. Lauren. I'm always the tipsy bridesmaid. Hey, that's great. Woods. I can eat a trough of cows. Is there anything better than taking an Oreo and dunking it in ice cold milk? And Jay. I am not a fan of the handgun. On FM 94.9. Jay, I'm not going to read that. What? You're mean to print it. What did he do? Is it about me? Yes. Let me see it. Jay is a cruel man. Karma would. He's a cruel man. What does it say? Oh, I'll tell you. Can I have Woodsy's job, please? What the hell was that new releases list? M1 Bergen. All right, M1 Bergen. Come on in. We'll go head to head. You met him. We met Bergen. So it takes a competition for you to really do your job. That's a bit, you guys. You know that. Is it? It's a bit. It's just a bit. 5-7-0-9-4-0. Oh, you wait till next week.
You're going to have a 45-minute new release bit. I'm going to load audio of all the movies, the whole thing. You are? Yes, I are. You are? We used to have like 15 different albums we would play. Well, there's nothing good out there. Hey, seriously? And that's a true fact. I send them to Mike for approval. It's true. You approve them? Yes. He doesn't trust me. Oh, I guess. You did it on your own, right? Yeah. Hey. So when you would do it, you just did it. But I always asked Woods, which is why he took over the new release job, because he knows more about music. So it wasn't really fitting for me to be doing it. You don't have to send them to me. Yes. You don't. I love you. Yeah, you know. But he's right. There's nothing on top. There's nothing. And I mean, I look and I'm like, I mean, if I read you the list, it'd actually be pretty funny for me to read to the people that are on there. The audio is really entertaining. Oh, from the movie? I could do that. No, from the albums. That's what we would laugh about the most. Oh, but see, my deal is, like, I'll put people on if I've heard of them. And that's the thing. You gotta know who they are. You gotta know. You can't just guess. And they're like, you know, it's like you've never heard of them. The doodle sticks. Yeah. It's literally, yeah, like the doodle sticks. It's insane. That's how you find out about good new music, too, though. What? What, LLB? The picture. That's a friend of mine from Vegas having a good time. No big deal. What is it?
It's a creepy chick doing something creepy. I'm appalled. One girl's doing a handstand. And the other one is standing and opening legs up. Do you have friends that that's what they're doing in their pictures? I do. All right, you ready for this? Yeah. Tell me, check, if you've heard of these bands. Go. Ready? 13 and God. Astra. Oh, this one I missed. I'm sorry, Garrett. Company of Thieves. I think we've heard of those. Yeah, that's a good one. I missed that. It's on me. Damon and Naomi. Dylan Champagne. Oh, the new Dylan Champagne is out. Dylan Champagne. No, Dylan Champagne. I think it's pronounced Champagne. Okay. Dylan Champagne. Champagne. Egypt Central. Face to face. Gold bears. Oh, yeah, the gold bears. Living with lions. My Doi Todd. You didn't put the new My Doi Todd. I swear to God. My Doi Todd. Metal mother. Planning to rock. One word.
Ruth Gerson and Tiny Tempa. All right, I take umbrage that you didn't put the new Ruth Gerson. Was that the Ruth Gerson solo project? It's the Ruth Gerson solo. Yes, yes, that is his solo project. Ruth Gerson and the gang. Yeah, Ruth Gerson is a guy from the band Schneidmassen. I thought it was Gerson and the gang. No. It was Ruth in the gang. No. Oh, Ruth in the gang. So I go through these last night and I go, well, I've heard of Ben Harper, Danger Mouse, and Moby. That's what you get. So suck it. You do a great job, Wes. It's good discretion. Thank you. Let's see. I just want to prove myself. You're great. Nice to see Lindsay Lowens taking her underage sister to a tequila party. Nice to see Lindsay's at a tequila party. Absolutely. She doesn't get in enough trouble. Yeah. DeLeon tequila. It was her two-year anniversary party at Chateau Marmont. And of course, Lindsay's not going to miss that, even though she's in trouble and shouldn't be drinking. And so not only was she there, but her 17-year-old sister, Allie, was. And they were photographed hanging out at the bar with Marilyn Manson. Sounds like a party. Yep. Let me go. Yeah. Taste for you. Thank you, sir. That's insane to me. Maybe you would stay home and watch a movie. Yeah. Man. Now, don't know if you've heard about this.
But Adele says that she is not going to stop eating. Now, this was news to me. I had no idea. I've seen the album cover for Adele, and I'm like, what are they talking about? You guys are approaching dangerous territory. Very dangerous. Dangerous territory. Excuse me. Define you guys. You? Me? Mike Esparza. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Excuse, excuse, excuse, excuse, excuse, excuse. The story is as follows. The headline reads, Adele announces she is not going to stop eating. Oh, I know. Okay, so, so far, have I done anything wrong? No, but you don't go to every story on your list and you know what Woods wants to do. Hang on a minute. Number two. Number two. I've seen the cover of Adele's album. She looks great. Gorgeous. Okay, on the cover of her album. She doesn't look like there's any. I'm going, you better not stop eating.
You look gorgeous. You skinny waif. You look like a skinny waif on the cover of your album. Stop it. Is that Kate Moss? Stop it. On the cover of that album. It's the only picture you've seen. Okay. It is not the only picture I've seen. So tell the stories, Deanna. Well, she's often criticized from people for her curvy figure. Curvy figure. I love her. And she says that the comments do not get her down. She's worried that if she loses weight, her boobs will become saggy. So she actually said, quote, I don't know these people who don't like me, so why would I care? If I was affected by my weight, I could easily lose some now. I've got enough money for a personal trainer or nutritionist. I'm not going to stop eating the food I like just because I can't be bothered to exercise. Now, I Google imaged Adele. And I was like, well, why are people saying... Stop! You can't go to... What? Say, oh, that hole is big. You go to the most unflattering picture. Well, yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, wait. Can I state something for the record? For the record. Yes. What? You said I, what? I went to Google Image, and I Google Imaged Adele, and I clicked on the picture, the image. She's beautiful. Can I say something for the record? I have, without a doubt, the biggest crush on her. My wife was...
I told you guys the story. I go, babe, I have such a crush. Stop it, Mike. Stop. What? First of all, excuse, excuse, excuse, excuse, excuse, excuse. Now, Sienna just threw a piece of paper at me, but Sienna, I just clicked. She looks gorgeous. Enormous, huge legs. It was just gigantic. But I was. I love her. I love her. What? What, you guys? What? Woods wants to state for the record that... I have such a crush on her. Yes. I love her. And so what? My wife was like... So we're supposed to be like, oh yeah, you can make as many fat jokes as you want because you think that you have a crush on a chubby girl. I don't think that I have a crush on her. I know I have a crush on her. My wife was like, hmm, how about it? She's not a chubby girl. Lauren, I'm not a chubby guy. Listen.
The truth of matter is, yeah, she's probably starting to lose her bondage. She's curvy. It's curvy. So am I. I'm curvy. All right? It's a great way of putting it. You look like a Coke bottle. Yeah, if a Coke bottle gained 50 pounds. A two-liter Coke bottle. I look like a two-liter Coke bottle. I look like a bucket of Coke. You look like a Coke factory. I look like... I'll tell you what I look like. I look like a hot air balloon that's been filled with Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola. You look like if the Pacific Ocean was filled with Coke. Right. That's you. If they called it the Coca-Cola Ocean instead of the Indian Ocean, yeah, I look like Coke. She's so beautiful. I think she's so beautiful. I look like the salt in Coke. You look like the Goodyear Blimp with Coke in it. Yeah. Imagine... A Zeppelin filled with Coca-Cola. I'd be fine with it. I would date her. I would. I'd date her. Is that supposed to make you a better person? Yes. Well, this is what I'm upset. Okay, I'm a little irritated at you two. Yeah. At Lauren and... Because you guys are never catty about women. At Lauren and Sienna, because I am Googling imaging Adele. Okay? And this is what I want to say. If Woods and I... If Woods and I...
Google imaged this picture of Adele, and we went, holy cow, she is hot. If we Google imaged, and we went, and we went, and I go, and it was like a dream, okay? And I go, Woods, let's check this, check it out. See now, that looks all right to me. Right, right, right, right. But all I'm saying to you guys is, is that sometimes you guys can be a little bit critical. And so if I went, dude. This girl is hot. And I Google image and it was Adele. There's Adele singing. They'd lose their mind. No, we wouldn't. I would say, Mike, I am really, really impressed by your significant taste and you're mature. Listen, she's big enough to play fullback for the Bears, but it's okay. She's got a beautiful voice. Beautiful voice. I love her. I would...
date her? She wouldn't date you. I'd make love to her? She wouldn't make love to you. What? Yeah. A lot of work. We are way overdue for a break, sir. Why do you guys get upset that Woods says yes, she has some extra poundage? Why? Why? Why does that make you upset? Because she's a singer. I know. She's not trying to be a fitness artist. I love her. And she's curvy. She's not big. I love curvy. She's big. And you're giving her like a sympathy. Like, yeah, I'd date her. Well, maybe she wouldn't date you. You know what? And yeah, Woods, why is it such a thing? Stop going to not picture me. Stop it. Stop. I think that it's kind of messed up with the ladies in the room. I do, too. Because they are so full of S. She has a beautiful voice. I'm worried about her health. No, that's all you need to worry about. If she was trying to be a model, like Lauren said, or an actress where her appearance matters, then I understand. But she's a singer. She's not trying to get her appearance known. Can I ask you guys a question? Here's my question to you. Stop showing that, Mike. Here's my question to you. Is Adele totally normal weight, underweight, or overweight? I'd say she's probably for her height.
Overweight. For her height. For her height. What is she, eight feet tall? Mikey. Seriously, dude? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. And? Text him at 949Mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. War Kids. I can't constitute it sometimes. Peter Pugh and it just. I wanna see you in the mouth. The Silent Comedy. are sold out. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Triple Hops Fruit Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubbies and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside.
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Cue a beach on a perfect summer's day. Cue a twin-sized lounge. Cue the twins. Cue the twins rubbing sunscreen on your shoulders. Cue the camera phone. Cue the updated profile picture. Cue the immediate 318 friend requests from 318 guys. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Special Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Hugh Blind Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the trademark corner. Hey, gang. It's Woodsy once again for NutriShop. I got to tell you. Visited those guys, and they've put me on a program. They're going to get me off all the donuts, the fast food, and I'm going to lose weight, and I'm going to feel better. And it's already started. They've got me on the Contour Elite stack. I'm on a cleanse, a fat burner, and a nighttime fat burner. This thing has been dynamite. Get over to NutriShop. They're going to custom make a plan for you. Located in Eastlake or in Mission Valley. Get in there and start getting results today. Tell them Woodsy sent you. Ooh, bacon. Listen to it. Sounds like a party. Actually, it is a party. Bacon Alia. Denny's celebration of bacon. Seven new bacon dishes. Like the triple bacon sampler. Or maple bacon sundae. Starting at just $4.99. Come on in and...
Par-tay. Denny's. America's diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I love guacamole. Lauren. And I'm a clump and an idiot. Woods. I cry more than I was. Sienna. I would just scream, not because I was sad, just to hear myself scream. And Jay. I light my coffee black. On FM 94.9. This is what I do. I sit on you. Sit on you. Sit on you. This is what I do. I sit on you. Right on your lap. This is what I do. I sit on you. Sit on you. Sit on you. This is what I do. I sit on you. Super clever. Right on your head. This is what I do. This is what I do. This is what I do. Sit on you. If you saw the video, Tyson, it would get you. I saw it, dude. You told me that. It didn't get you when you saw it? No. It's so dumb. I feel...
Like you are a doll inside if you don't laugh. I feel like I like Richard Pryor and you like Gallagher. I like Richard Pryor too. I think you like Gallagher. No. When you play me something like that, I'm like, it's like I'm listening to a Gallagher fan. You think that's freaking Gallagher? Yes. No. That's a hammer and a watermelon, my friend. Dude, I'm with you with Gallagher. This is Gallagher's lame. Dane Cook. I like Pryor. You like Dane Cook. Oh, I used to like Dane Cook. He used to be funny. He used to be funny. He did? Heck. Well, in Good Luck Chuck or? No, in his stand-up. Yeah. No, his stand-up used to be funny. I never heard. Catholic Church bit gave me a laugh. Yes. The old Dane Cook stuff? Funny. Dane Cook stopped being funny with, it was like the last stand-up thing he had. So all of them up to the last one are funny? Yeah. Dane Cook blew up.
Oh, yeah. He was big for a while. Dane Cook blew up. Oh, yeah. And then, wasn't the rap he was stealing people's stuff? Zach. Allegedly. Some of Louis C.K. stuff. He's pretty funny. Very funny. Yeah. That sit on you reminds me of Gallagher. No. I can see where Woods is coming from. It's pretty bad. Like, it's not as brilliant as you think it is, I think. I don't think it's brilliant. You think it's pretty great. I don't think it's brilliant. It makes me laugh. Was that Dane Cook doing the sit-on-you? No. Who is that? That's pretty funny. That's funny. That's pretty funny to me. It reminds me of Sienna when she was pumping her boobs. Makes me miss it. I would say that. Don't lactate right now, please, when you hear that song. Don't dry it up. Don't worry. No more lactating. Something about hearing that song just kind of brings it out. No, that one reminds me of when Sienna was pregnant. Or when she just had the baby. Sorry. Get the hell out of here. Get me out of here. Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Let's see. Did we miss anything big? No, we got to Adele.
Skating on really thin ice. Surrounded by three women over here. Skating on some really thin ice. Adele is awesome. I love her. I love her. You know who can't skate on thin ice? Me and Mikey. We get Adele. Jay! Why are you joining in? She's gotten enough abuse. He's been part of it the entire time. He has, but he'll get away with it. I'm going to get a hundred emails tonight. You're a chauvinist. Fat-ist. Fat-ist? You hate fat people. I am one. I can talk about it. It's like you. You can make fun of Mexicans. I can't. I can make fun of fat guys. You know why? Right there. Please put your shirt down. Okay. Because of these little guys right here. Stop shaking your boobs. Because of these, I can do it. She's not a guy and she's not asking for it. Oh, man. Knockers. There you go. One of those days. It's a weird day. One of those days. It's a woods. Man boobs. Yes, my white belly. He shows them every day. Every day. A couple times. He brings those puppies out once a day. We have to put a black bar across the fence. You know what it is? It's like at elementary school when they put the flag up. Once a day, he flies it. Look at the fun bags on that horse hound. Exactly right. Exactly right. Oh, woods. Oh, boy. I'm ready to go.
Why is Gordon Ramsay getting sued by his mother-in-law? Well, his in-laws, they do not have a great relationship. His father-in-law was on one of the shows and Gordon fired him. Oh, wow. Yeah, so they've been feuding ever since that. And apparently the mother-in-law has told his wife that she is not welcome anywhere near their house. Wow. Because as long as she's with Gordon Ramsay. Who's that? Who? Gordon Ramsay. He's like a cook, right? He's an angry cook. Oh, he's that guy. Yeah. Woods doesn't like reality shows, no? I'm just over the angry people. Is he an angry guy? He yells at people and stuff? Yeah. Is it Hell's Kitchen? Yes. That's it. Okay, I know who he is then. He's a D. Yeah. Now, the British version. Now, the thing I don't like about the British version is that he curses. And they allow it. But the British version is better than the American version because it's more real. It's like actually real. Here they have to Hollywood it up and they got to do all this Hollywood stuff to it. But I do think that it's fascinating when he goes to a restaurant and tells the restaurant why they're failing. Why there's three people in the restaurant. It's pretty cool. That would be interesting. It is. And he goes in there.
It's fascinating to see people cling to what they want to do. Sure. He goes in and he goes, first of all, you've got a menu with 20 things on it. It's crap. It's crap. You know what you do? You come up and you have six things. You do great. Put that on the menu. That's it. That's pretty solid. And then he goes in the kitchen and he goes, this is frozen. No one wants to eat that. It's garbage. Why would you even serve frozen? You don't have to. It's garbage. Get something that's fresh. Fresh ingredients. Always is good. Delicious. Always tastes good. Best way. In general. He's mean, though. Yeah, he is. I can't watch. I watched one American Idol and he was there in the audience and Ryan Seacrest came up to him and they were talking to promote his show. And one of the mothers of the American Idol contestants had gone to the mansion they were living in and made them all an Italian dinner. And there was a little bit of leftovers that Ryan Seacrest gave Gordon Ramsay in front of everyone and said, try this. One of the mothers made it and she's Italian. And he said, this is disgusting. Like in front of everyone. This mother made a home cooked meal for all of these.
contestants, and he said that, and I was like, oh, I despise you. I'm about done. I'll never watch it now. I was gonna, but now I'm not going to. He's mean. Yeah, if you are cruising around, Woodsy, on cable, on the BBC thing, if you ever see the Gordon Ramsay kitchen thing, Kitchen Nightmares, I'm telling you, bro, I think you would. Maybe you wouldn't. See, I think you would, because there's cursing, and you like stuff. Oh, I love to curse. Hi, salute. What do you got coming up, Hillary? I'm going to get on some Franz Ferdinand, something from Arcade Fires, The Suburbs. I'll get on The Strokes, that Danger Mouse and Jack White that's out today in Rome. Band of Skulls who are playing indie jam. Yeah, there you go. Lovely and talented Hillary's coming up next and we will come back. Yeah, get some Adele. Come back tomorrow. Do this again. It's a Mikey show. Late. in the morning about the music all