The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/18/11
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
marriage and surnamespolice applicant confessionstudent questioningsuicide preventionsex tapespolitical protestreality show prankchild injury fundraiserrapture predictionteacher misconductmikeyradio
Lauren O'Brien sparred with Mikey over keeping her surname after marriage, while Jay, Lauren and Sienna turned a discussion of sex tapes into a joke about reviewing game film. The show covered Robert Lee Williams confessing to child-sex offenses on a police application, Vito LaPinta being questioned by the Secret Service without his mother, and Brittany Nicole Kleps facing charges for sex with five adult-age students. Eskimo Blue Waters tried to pass off a doctored audition for The Voice, and the hosts replayed the glitter protest against Newt Gingrich. Sienna made an emotional appeal for baby Isaiah, while Mikey used Harold Camping's failed-date history and scripture to argue against the advertised May 21 Judgment Day.
What happened, in order
Lauren Keeps Her Name
Lauren O'Brien said she would remain Lauren O'Brien if she married Matt Commerce, while Mikey insisted she could not really mean it.
The Applicant Who Confessed
Police applicant Robert Lee Williams admitted on his own questionnaire to sexual contact with a child and viewing child pornography, prompting an investigation and his arrest.
Secret Service at Middle School
The Secret Service questioned 13-year-old Vito LaPinta at school over a Facebook post about possible retaliation for Osama bin Laden's death, setting off an argument about whether his mother had to be present.
Watching The Bridge
Lauren described rewinding the Golden Gate Bridge suicide documentary The Bridge to understand the jumpers' final moments, and the hosts debated barriers, intervention and on-site counseling.
Sex Tape Game Film
Jay admitted making and immediately erasing a sex tape, while Lauren and Sienna argued that women might watch one like game film to see themselves from a partner's point of view.
Glittering Newt Gingrich
The show played audio of an anti-gay-politics protester dumping glitter on Newt Gingrich and his wife, then mocked the security guard's solemn send-off.
Eskimo Fakes The Voice
Eskimo Blue Waters presented a badly edited recording as proof that all four coaches on The Voice wanted her, but the clip exposed the prank before the hosts called her out.
Help for Baby Isaiah
Sienna tearfully told how a drunk teenage driver left two-year-old Isaiah blind and paralyzed, and directed listeners to Passion4Kids to help his family obtain an accessible home.
Judgment Day Countdown
Mikey rejected Harold Camping's May 21 rapture prediction as unbiblical, challenged the date-setting logic and argued that fringe followers should not define Christianity.
Teacher and Five Students
The hosts debated whether Texas teacher Brittany Nicole Kleps should face prison or only lose her job for having sex with five 18-year-old students.
People mentioned
MikeyLauren O'BrienMatt CommerceJaySiennaRobert Lee WilliamsVito LaPintaNewt GingrichEskimo Blue WatersIsaiahHarold CampingBrittany Nicole Kleps
38,409 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
It's a Mikey show. And we're ready to rock and roll. We got to talk to you about some big news stories in San Diego. The rain stinks. Cold, windy. Yeah. Bunch of junk. So we'll tell you, well, how long is that going to stick around? How long do we expect this rainy stuff to stick around? May gray. Forget it. Forget it. I'm ready for warm. I'm ready for sun. I'm ready. Yeah, about a month and a half, right? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know that it'll take that long. But, you know, what I do know is that after May comes June gloom, and maybe we won't have that. Maybe we're getting it all out of the way right now. And they do say, and when I say they, I mean they.com, they.org, whatever. They.gov. They.net. But they say.
That it's supposed to be sunny tomorrow and Friday and Saturday. And that it's going to heat up a little bit, especially on Saturday. So it probably will. I hope it does. Let's see. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. And I've got on a thermal top today. Because, you know, I've got to keep it real. There's all those cliche catchphrases. I've got to keep it real. I've got to represent. What is another cliche? You got to rep your hood? I got to rep my hood. I got to think out of the box. I'm just saying cliches. That doesn't work. You got to hold it down. I got to hold it down. Hold down the fort. I got to hold down the fort. Woods is our sports guy. He's 35 and wears a thin gold wedding band. Mine is both gold and platinum because I wanted to honor my father where at the same time I wanted to do what I feel is contemporary.
Thank you. Oh, my gosh. This is my, I don't know if you know this story, Miguel, but this is my great-grandfather's wedding band. He was a Baptist preacher in Tennessee. There you go. Yeah, I'm the fourth generation aware. It's pretty awesome. Mine is, too. Yeah, it's very thin. Let's see. Lauren O'Brien. Oh, Lauren, don't. Lauren's pointing to her base for rent. Wedding finger. Out of the box. Here we go. Uh-oh. This is a... This is called an epidermis cut. It is very... The clarity is pretty good. You see right through it. Yeah. It says free milk. Oh, Jay. Oh, he just takes liberties. Just make the same joke over and over. Seems to be working. Just right out of the box today. Oh, boy. Ouch. It's very tense. Lauren is 30. She's got a boyfriend, wonderful, handsome guy named Matt. We call him BFMC, boyfriend Matt Commerce. Definitely handsome. Yep. Great body. Yeah, he is. Weird. Strange when you do that. I believe that at some point he will be your HFMC. Your what? Your husband. Husband friend Matt Commerce? Oh, sorry. HMC. Your HMC. Let's not get carried away. Your husband Matt Commerce. That's interesting you bring that up. I was driving to work today and I go, if they got married, would we call her?
L-O-C, but it wouldn't be Lauren O'Commerce. I'm not going to change my name anyway, so we wouldn't really have to cross that bridge. That cannot be true. Stop the record on that one, my friend. I refuse to believe that's true, Lauren. That can't be true. You're not that woman. You're not that woman. You're not her. You're not her. I don't want to go fill out the paperwork. I like my name. The paperwork is obedient. Let's call you the L-C. Yeah, he's already one of those. Are you telling me that you would not, if you married Matt Commerce, you would not become Lauren Commerce? You would stay Lauren O'Brien? To our friends, I might be, but for the sake of addressing a letter to just Mr. and Mrs., but in a court of law, legally, it would just be the same. Lauren O'Brien. Hi, everybody.
Good for you, Lauren. Stay strong. You know, what's wrong with her name? She likes it. Does your BFMC, your boyfriend, Matt Commerce, does he know? Why should he? We're just dating. Have you ever discussed the fact that if you were ever married, that you would not take his name? Yeah, I think that he probably thinks I'm kidding. You're not. You are kidding, right? The longer I have my name, the more I like it. It's been a long time. Oh, God. 30 years. Longer than it's ever been. Yep. True story. It hurts. I need to discuss that with her and find out if she's being for real. I really do. I really do. I really do. No question. I have a burning in my loins right now. Okay, Lauren, that may be fine, but you can't just scream that on the radio. Oh, my God. Lauren, that's so inappropriate. Oh, babe. Oh, come on now. Don't try to sweet talk Mikey, all right? You can't robot your way out of this one, young lady. Stop trying to be cute. It's always a good closer. Sienna is our news girl. She's 26 and has had a heck of a day already. This is not my day. Woods had to pick her up and bring her to work today because she had a flat tire in the rain. 3.45 a.m. You just pulled over on the freeway. Who's your knight in shining armor? Woods! Because Jay didn't answer the phone.
I have a second fiddle. It's fine, but I'll take it. You pulled through. I did pull through. I would have fixed your car. Yeah, on the side of the road. I think I would have come after Garrett, our program director. I wouldn't have called Mike. I would have woken my husband up before because it would have spun you out. You were my first fiddle when I had a flat tire. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Sienna. Because you're the last one in here. Everyone else was already at work. Lauren's like, sorry, Mike, that's true. It's actually true. The number of things that went into my decision. That being one of them. You know, also that you were my. Absolute last resort. Only hope. Right. She really likes your car, too. She likes that. It's comfortable. She called Eddie from the show first. And he was like, I can't. I gotta go to work. I'm working. He's like, who is this? He's like, who is this? I knew I could count on you, Mike. You answered your phone. You showed up promptly. I texted you. I informed you of the situation. That is true.
It worried me this morning. I did. I was worried. I was like, oh, God, why'd she call me? It's 4.15. What's the deal? I was scared. She was in, like, Rape Central, too, where her car was. It was a scary area. Oh, boy. Very. I was in my car. I locked it so it was dark. It was, like, hunched down. Pitch black, pouring rain. 4.15 in the morning. It was a bridge. By a bridge. I was like, oh, boy. Oh, what a way to start. It was not fun. And I have to deal with it later. Jay's our producer. He's 47. Got on a Sublime t-shirt. That's a good dude. Look at that guy. No wedding ring either. Yeah, he doesn't wear a wedding ring. Happy birthday. Although he is married. I am married. He's been married for like 84 years. How come you don't wear it, Jay? I just don't like to wear rings. You know what I do like, though? I like it when girls think I'm single and they talk to me. Like at the beach. Like at the beach. And they look at that finger and they go, you're a single good looking one. That ring doesn't stop anybody. Doesn't it? Doesn't it? I think it's more of bait. They look at the ring and they go, yeah, look at that. You know, I've heard that bit before and I don't buy it a lick. You should buy it. Not a lick. I buy it. I know you guys wouldn't know about it. Y'all are fat, but. You never had to experience all the attention I get. The ring around your waist is all you need to. Oh, my God. Wow, he's on a tear this morning. Oh, man. He just comes swinging right out of the gate. Listen, y'all.
I took this ring off because I couldn't stop talking or walking. All right? I try to walk into a mall, I'm approached. I try to walk into church, I'm approached. I try to walk into the clergy, I'm approached. Everywhere. It didn't matter where I was, all right? I was in a modeling agency. Hello. I went and visited the sunken USS Arizona in Pearl Harbor, I'm approached. I'm just trying to pay homage. I was at the Killing Fields in Cambodia. What do you know? Hello. I can't hip it. I call this room my ivy tower. I sit in here. I judge y'all. I laugh at you. That's right. I'm taken. Sorry. Can't do a thing for you. You can beg as much as you want. Beg. No. The answer is no. I can't. No. No. I'm taken. I'm Kim. I can't help it. I know how hard I am, but I can't. Don't help me. Spoken for. I got it.
Word of the day is... Oh, and our phone screen today is... Word of the day is camouflage. When you hear me say camouflage between now and 10, caller number nine will get a pair of tickets to see Eddie Vedder. Wow! Yeah. At Copley Symphony Hall, Tuesday, July 5th. Tuesday, July 5th. Beside myself. Crazy whore. Woods, you can go. Thank you. Yes. Wow. I'll be prepared the next morning. Trust me. Don't you usually have that day off? Hey, hey, hey. All of you on the show. Can I go? Yeah. We get one what? You get one. A freebie? You get a freebie. I'm doing it. I got to take my wife to see Taylor Swift. Wow. I'm not taking the day off. Fair is fair. I won't take the day off. I'll be here. Yeah, I will because I get up at 1.30. I know. I'll just be tired. But I'll be on. I'll just.
Shoot a lot of coffee. You'll be pumped. I'll be good to go. L-O-B, J, Sienna, you guys want to go to a concert. What about a strip club? Does that count? Can I do that? I did that anyway. The amateur night on Tuesdays. Come on. Now, do we all understand it's one? Yes. One per year. All right. One per. LLB, that means you don't go to four. And on the fourth one, I find out about it. And you go, I thought you said it was cool. I haven't been to a concert in a long time. You're not like big into that. This is the kid you have to worry about. That's a true statement. Let me get one. Woods will drive to LA for that one concert. Yeah. 15 minutes of sleep. 730 this morning. Eskimo Blue Waters will be coming into the studio because, well, she wants to tell us all about how she's going to be appearing on the TV show The Voice. Yeah. Oh, wow. No kidding? Great, you know? Good for her. That's a big deal. Dude, she's getting a little better, man. Yeah, I mean, obviously. I mean, she had a gig at the Belly Up, now The Voice? Oh, yeah. Wow. Pretty big stuff. Eight people watching her. Mm-hmm. Wow. San Diego Police Department has not been getting good press lately. Now, I'm going to say before I say this, I believe that by and large, the San Diego Police Department is full of a bunch of good dudes.
I believe that every police department has some bad apples. This guy actually wasn't a cop. This guy wanted to be a cop. Yes. He was filling out the job application to become a member of the SDP PD. And Chula Vista man, 38 years old, his name is Robert Lee Williams. He marked yes on the form. that lengthy questionnaire that he had had sexual contact with a child and had viewed child pornography. He checked yes himself on this form. You know what? There's two things about it, by the way, that are really shocking to me. A, that he checked yes, which, by the way, if he had, I say to that dude, wow. I mean, you did something monstrous and you were being honest about it. What you did is monstrous. Being honest about it is good. You're being honest. I'm glad you were, by the way. I'm glad you were honest. Number two, the other thing that's really extraordinarily shocking to me is that that is a question on a form because, and my thinking is flawed, by the way, because I thought that it goes without saying that you haven't viewed child pornography. Okay? But it doesn't.
I'm wrong in that thinking. My thinking is flawed. And so that guy was honest about it. Yeah, and because he was honest about it, it prompted police to investigate and seize computers, cameras, and pictures of, quote, exotic girls in his home. He was arrested the same day and is still in jail on suspicion of possessing child porn. His bail was set at $150,000, and he's scheduled to appear in Superior Court on Monday. Now, he went into detail after he checked yes. He explained on the form that when he was 29, again, he's 38 years old right now, was 29 he had quote tried to touch a younger cousin as she slept
Now, at the age of 35, he said he started viewing child porn after an intense argument with his wife. Now, during this investigation, police have reached out to family members, friends, and have gotten in contact with a former roommate or girlfriend. She was one of both. She said that she forced him to leave after she found a video on their computer depicting a girl about eight years old engaged in sexual conduct. After the roommate or girlfriend, whatever she was, found out, she kicked him out. And, you know, he's admitted to all of this just because he wanted to be a member of the San Diego Police Department. On the form, just, you know, signed up. My goodness. Let it all out. Yeah. Every day, honestly, every day, I really do feel like I thought I've heard it all. I know. Like right now at this moment, it's 6, 17 a.m. And today's May 18, 2011. I've officially heard it all. There's not something else that will surprise me. It can't. Yesterday. I've now heard everything in the known universe. It's like the last website that's available. I've filled up my memory. I know. There can't be something crazier than that. Yesterday, it was the Arnold Schwarzenegger news. Yeah. And we're like, what? We're like, what? And now it's this. What? No. It's insane. Well, I'm looking at the show, what we got coming up today, and I'm like, well, wait till I tell you about this Facebook.
thing with the 13-year-old kid. Apparently, we haven't heard it all. You think you've heard it all. You haven't. Scratch the surface. We're only scratching the surface. You just wait. Thank God he's not going to be a cop. That's all I can say right now. Yeah. Yeah. So, what's going on, Woods, in the NFL? Well, so the NFL, as you guys know, they've They've been in discussions about the collective bargaining agreement, and basically what happened, they finished their last day of mediation yesterday. It was court-ordered mediation, and they're finished for a while. Take a couple weeks off. We've got plenty of time. Really? No. We don't. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, they get to take a couple of weeks off? Yeah, they're going to resume talks June 7th. Oh, what a... No, don't. They've got to be locked in that room. five minutes yeah they got to be locked in that room but they don't want to meet this is all court ordered mediation so they're not even wanting to get on the same page now realize mike it's may middle of may training camp starts in august okay okay we are close to the beginning of the season well yeah yeah i mean we're you know in 90 days away 65 70 days away somewhere around there yeah and they're not even close they're not near the same page but um
Jeff Pasch, who is the NFL's lead negotiator, he's an attorney, had a couple comments after the meeting yesterday. We had a good discussion today. I think, as I've said many times, the only way we're going to get this accomplished is by face-to-face dialogue and really digging into the issues. And I think we had a good step in that direction today. Okay, this leads right back to that theory that I have that we're all a bunch of grown-up little kids. That sounds like a kid. Yeah. It's like we're all it's like they're seven and they just want their freaking way no matter what. Both sides. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just that I read, you know, I actually Googled yesterday NFL lockout for dummies. And it's fascinating. Like it really breaks down for you what the NFL lockout is all about. And, you know, it's just a case of. owners wanting more money and players wanting more money, but players being the product that the owners have to have on the field. You know, you don't go to Qualcomm to see the big screen TV. Yeah. You don't go to Qualcomm for that. You go to see Phillip freaking Rivers. Sure. And that's what you go to see. Right. And without Phillip Rivers on that field, the owners aren't going to make the money they would have made. Without Phillip Rivers on that field, it's not going to be the product that people want to see.
Do we think that there's going to be football if they're being made to talk? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, they're being forced to talk. I can't imagine. The NFL has been the number one franchise. It's long taken over baseball. And that breaks my heart because I'm a baseball guy. But I love me some NFL, man. And now, without that product on the field, you're going to lose some people. Are you saying, Woods, by the way, about this thing, that if they weren't being forced to talk by mediation? If they weren't being forced, they wouldn't be. Right. That's exactly right. Because they're so far apart. Then that means they're not going to do it. Right. That's going to happen. I mean, you forced a couple of people to go talk about something. If you force them to and they don't want to, then you're never going to get anything. Nothing will happen. That's like a couple. It's like a couple that's in a fight. Right. If I say you guys have to talk and each couple says, well, I don't want to talk to them. and I force you into a room to talk, you're not going to accomplish anything. You don't want to talk to each other. Right. Oh, boy. That's terrible. And then this is kind of interesting, though. Yeah, this was really cool. Brian Billick, who he coached at San Diego State. He was the Ravens head coach. He won a Super Bowl in Baltimore.
Great guy, just really smart football guy. He was actually out working with a couple of the Chargers coaches, working with him on technique, the X's and O's. And they started asking him. Are they going to hire him? No, no. He has a show. He's an NFL network analyst, but he also has a show called Coach Speak. Oh. And it's on FoxSports.com. And it's just him talking to coaches around the league. He's a big X's and O's guy. Right. And so he's working with a couple of the coordinators, Greg Minoski, the defensive coordinator. And they're like filming it for the show? Yeah, they film it for the show. And he's just such a good football mind. So they asked him, hey, what did you think of the Chargers draft? And can they have an impact right away? The difficulty is obviously when do you get your hands on them. And notwithstanding the collective bargaining agreement, I think you have to get the mindset. Look, these guys may not be a 1,000 rep guy or a 1,000 snap guy at the end of the season. Do we have a role for them? Your first-round choice, Legit, is going to be a great inside presence for you. Minuski is going to find just the right way to utilize him. Again, it may not be at every down snap. These young guys, you can't minimize how much prep it takes for them to have a contributing.
part of the season. So if we don't get them until training camp, you've got to kind of lower your expectations a little bit and find that right role for them. Training camps start at the end of June or the beginning of July. Yeah. If they don't, if they don't, because of what's going on, my brain will officially check out on the NFL. I will officially go, that's going to suck. It doesn't matter if they start training camp at the end of July. I, in my head, will think this is a stupid season. Put yourself in Corey Legion's shoes. He just got drafted. He's the Chargers' number one draft pick. And he can't even do anything. He's not going to get to learn. It could hinder his entire career, man. I mean, seriously. Yeah, well, what I wonder is, at this point, because like I said, training camps start end of June, beginning of July. And so what I want to know is, Would teams normally be doing something with these guys right now? Would they be giving them a playbook? Do they still have a playbook now? Okay, so everything's the same right now that it would normally be. The only time that it's going to be different is end of June, beginning of July when we'd hit training. If that doesn't happen, dude, if that doesn't happen, I'm going to go.
This is a fake season. Yeah, but you know what they can't do is Greg Minuski, the defensive coordinator, cannot go to Corey Leggett and get his hands on him and say, all right, dude, this is what happens. If this guy shoots this gap, you throw, you know. You mean now? Now, he can't do it. Would they be now? Yeah, I mean. They would? Yeah, and you know what else? They can't talk to free agents right now. There's a lot of guys that were undrafted that are good players, and you always find that good score. They can't do anything with those guys. That was Antonio Gates. Yeah. I mean, dude, you can't talk to the next Antonio Gates right now. It's horse ass stupid. It's so dumb. Oh, for goodness sake. It's so stupid. Of course. The French guy that was in New York City that sexually assaulted that woman, the maid, housekeeper, and then tried to get at it. and go to France and they stopped him on the airplane and arrested him and he's in Rikers Island right now. What's the latest with that, Kat? Well, he's the head of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Well, right now he's been placed under suicide watch at the jail where he is in New York City after he was, you know, held after bail was denied in the sexual assault case on Monday. Now they're saying, law officials are saying he hasn't tried to harm himself, but that a close watch is being kept on him just in case.
Because this is just nuts. People are calling in, writing, saying that he needs to resign from the IMF. I mean, people want him out of there and he's going to be in a lot of trouble. If your kid was questioned by the FBI, do you think it would be necessary for you to be there? You know, if it happened at, say, their middle school. Because I said that you thought you heard everything. You haven't. Wait till we play this for you. Plus, guys, you want to know where to meet women? Yeah. Whoa. I think your wife is at home. Well, that's where I'll meet her then. Oh. We'll tell you all about it next. Part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. At Boy's Head, we work hard to make our oven go turkey the best it can be. It's pure turkey breast, slow-roasted the old-fashioned way. But there's a downside to such excellence. Boar's Head Oven Gold is a magnet for lunch thieves. You open up the office fridge and find your oven gold turkey sandwich has been stolen, pilfered, pinched. So what can you do? Well, you could get a cheap turkey sandwich from a sandwich chain, something made from ground-up parts, preservatives, and fillers like seaweed extract. Nobody's going to steal that.
Or you could stand by your oven gold turkey and take defensive measures. Invest in a padlocked lunchbox, set up a fridge cam, or simply eat your lunch at 10 a.m. before anyone has a chance to steal it. Sure, it's a little extra effort, but a great turkey sandwich needs protecting. And oven gold is the best there is. Boar's Head. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. New. Youthful. Innovative. Lots of words mean fresh. Add Mercedes-Benz to the list. That's because the 2011 lineup of Mercedes-Benz vehicles is the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class. Take the C300 sports sedan. A rare combination of luxurious refinement and racing pedigree, its agility control suspension lets it handle with precision, even when driven hard. See your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer about the 2011 C300 sports sedan, and you'll discover that for 125 years, Mercedes-Benz has also been synonymous with value. Least the 2011 C300 Sport Sedan, an IIHS top safety pick, for just $349 a month for 33 months with $3,894 due at signing. A new year, a new level of innovation from Mercedes-Benz. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through May 31, 2011. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details.
See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Horn Motors of Crossband, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, or visit SoCalMB.com. Dude, what happened last night? I can't find my super big gulp cup. What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup. All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven, but what happened after that? Hey, I think we got kidnapped. By a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah. And they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Hola, mi amigos. No way. He's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right. And he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait. Didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah. I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub. Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today, only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie The Hangover Part 2 in theaters May 26th. This is the sound of Marcus trying to find a branch of his bank on the other side of town. Please take the next left in 17 miles. Oh, come on. You'd think there'd be one a little closer. This is Tony looking for a chase bank. Now, where's that new branch? It should be just...
Oh, there it is. Marcus. Recalculating. Recalculating. Yeah, great. Recalculating. Thanks for helping. Tony. Welcome to Chase. Wow. You guys are opening up everywhere. Marcus. Again. You are no longer on the road. Wonderful. You are no longer on the road. Where am I? You can always rely on a Chase Bank to be close by your home or office. With new branches opening all the time and a suite of new technologies, Chase continues to make banking more convenient. There are over 5,200 locations nationwide, with more coming to San Diego soon. Visit chase.com slash mynewbranch for your nearest Chase location. More branches in more places. Take a step forward and chase what matters. JPMorgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. This summer, the Miller Lite guards are saving men from making the unmanly choice of drinking light beer with less taste. How? With great-tasting Miller Lite, TastePoints, and awesome summer discounts. So man up at TastePoints.com today. Open only to legal California residents 21 or older. A way to a prohibited limited-time promotion will offer begins 5-1-11 and then 7-30-1-11. Full terms and conditions at TastePoints.com. Miller Boy Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Great beer, great responsibility. A blown tire.
Overheated engine. Empty gas tank. There's mayhem on the road. That's why you need roadside assistance. What you don't need is to pay a fee even if you don't use it. Introducing Good Hands Roadside Assistance from Allstate. You'll never pay a dime unless you use it. And it's open to everyone, not just Allstate customers. Go to allstate.com slash roadside to register and get important information. Peter considers himself the smartphone king. Right now, he's videoing himself as he zip lines over Fremont Street in Vegas while emailing his mom about the meal he just had in the Cosmopolitan's China Poblano and simultaneously tweeting his followers a pic of the outfit he just scored at the only Tom Ford store on the West Coast. Peter's phone is smart, but his status updates are even smarter. I like to keep it interesting. Find your own way to Vegas at VisitLasVegas.com. Paid for by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. Prepare to make the jump to light speed. Good idea, Han. We've got to get the Chevron Extra Mile for the takeoff to adventure game. You can instantly win Extra Mile bucks or enter your code online for a chance to win a Disneyland Resort vacation to experience the new Star Tours with airfare from Southwest Airlines Vacations. That was my energy drink, buddy.
No bridges necessary. Open to legal residents of California, Oregon, Washington, 18 and over. Void or prohibited. See rules in stores or at extramilegame.com. Dance June 30th while supplies last. Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. The Home Depot's made a special buy. Select one-quart perennials are four for ten bucks. Regionally grown, giving a colorful bang for your buck. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. This report is brought to you by Allstate. This Memorial Day means more traffic, more accidents. So before you head out, put yourself in good hands. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. Ooh, we got some accidents going on this morning. Five northbound after Mission Avenue, an accident over on the right shoulder. A couple cars involved there. La Mesa's tied up on the westbound ramp to the 125 southbound. That left lane's blocked by an accident on the connector. And also, as you travel on the five southbound Delmar Heights Road, we have a car spin out. It hit the center divider. Lots of spin outs this morning. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. San Diego Toyota dealerships. They got a $24.95 lube oil and filter replacement for you.
United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm a right wing NRA guy. Lauren. Yes, I'm gullible. We get it. No, we don't. Give me a break. Woods. No, I don't play online because why? I don't like to play other people. Why? Some selfish. Sienna. You know, I really don't even know what color my hair is. It's like brown, red. There's a little bit of blonde. It changes. And Jay. You didn't use nails when you made that treehouse? Yeah, I didn't want to hurt the tree with nails going in. On FM 94.9. Is it Bangor, Maine out there? Oh, stop. Come on. Beautiful day here in Manchester. It's too bad that we can't write the city of San Diego to complain about this. I know some people love it. And to you, I say, I'm sorry. I understand you like this. Me in particular. I just think it's cold and rainy. I should lower my rent in May and June. Yeah, because we pay. I pay a buttload. You pay a lot to live in San Diego. It doesn't matter where you live. It's a lot. It doesn't matter what you pay for rent. It's a lot. And the reason that you pay a lot is because you live in a tropical paradise. Allegedly. Allegedly. It's still beautiful. I know it is, but it looks like turds right now. So let me ask you a question. If your kid.
was questioned by the FBI, do you think that you should be notified? Because it doesn't always, I know that sounds like a crazy question, doesn't always happen. It's the kind of call no mother wants to get. My phone rings, I look at it, and it was the number to his school, and I answer it, and it's the school security guard just giving me a FYI, you know, for your information, just to give you a heads up, the Secret Service is here with the Toa Police Department, and they have Vito, and they're talking to him. They have Vito? His name is Vito. Yeah, I know. As I'm saying, apparently this is an old story and this is the godfather. Kind of setting the kid up to be involved with organized crime. Of course. You name a kid Vito. What do you want if you name him Vito? He's not going to be an attorney. No. His name is Vito Corleone Smith.
Turns out, after Osama bin Laden was killed, Vito Lapinta posted an update to his Facebook status that got the Fed's attention. I was saying how Osama is dead and for Obama to be careful because there might be suicide bombers. A week later, while Vito was in his fourth period class, he got called to the principal's office. A man walked in in a suit and glasses. And he said that he was part of the... Secret Service, and he told me it was because of a post that I made, and it indicated as a threat towards the president. Tacoma schools did acknowledge that a Secret Service agent questioned Vito, but after that, the story becomes very different. They say a security guard called Vito's mom because the principal was on the other line, and that they didn't wait for her to arrive because they felt that she didn't take the phone call seriously. That's a blatant lie.
Timmy Robertson says she rushed to Truman Middle School immediately and arrived to discover her boy had already been questioned for half an hour. I just about lost it. You know, my son, my 13-year-old son, who is a minor, who is supposed to be safe and secure in his classroom at school, is being interrogated without my knowledge or consent privately by the Secret Service. I was very scared. The seventh grader says once his mom showed up, the agent finished the interview and told him he wasn't in any trouble. Now he's more careful about what he posts online. But Timmy says the school and the Secret Service are the ones who need to watch themselves. For me, it's not about what my son did or didn't do. It's the way they handled it because he's still a child. In Tacoma, Dana Rebick, Q13, Fox News. Woods, yes, you obviously, I mean, we haven't discussed this, you and I, but I have to. assume that you are instantly against what happened to this child not necessarily no no it's a matter of national security but i think uh they there's no question that that kid should not have been questioned without a parent or an attorney okay honestly so let's back up a little bit i want your take what questioning him right or wrong wrong okay then you don't believe that no
Questioning him is right with his mom there. That's what I want to know. Yes. Questioning him is right with his mom there. Questioning, right or wrong? Right. Questioning without a parent, wrong. Wrong. And, yeah, okay. I agree. There are going to be some people, in fact, I suspect that Jay believes it was wrong to question him at all? No, I think it's fine. I think that even without a parent. I mean, it's not going to be something that's admissible in court, but if you're just asking him questions, if you're going to take my son anywhere, then absolutely I need to be present for whatever he said. But if you're just asking him some questions, that's fine. Wow, Jay. Yeah. So you're okay with them not only asking him questions about what he wrote, but you don't have to be there. As long as it's at school. Yeah, as long as it's at school and there's a principal. I trust that they've got my best.
My child's best interest. 570-1949. I'm shocked. I would have thought both of you guys would have said, give me a break. It's a 13-year-old kid writing a thing on their Facebook, blah, blah, blah. But that's, you know. That's exactly why I feel that way. Because it's a 13-year-old writing something on the... Yeah, man. It's... You never know kind of thing. Dude, you never know. I mean, did you ever think something as horrific as Columbine or some of the stuff that's just gone on? Like you said, nothing surprises us anymore, man. Nothing. And it doesn't matter if he's 13 or not. You can be a militant dude at 13, 14 years old. Yeah. And do something crazy. 570-1949. If you... Maybe people that are listening right now go, hey, it's a 13-year-old. It's Facebook. They shouldn't even be going to the school to talk to him about it. And I'm imagining, well, what if it were my 13-year-old kid? Luke. Luke. Let's say Luke is 13 now. And any kid. And they write on Facebook, Obama should beware of suicide bombers because of what happened with Osama bin Laden.
Well, first of all, I guess that is kind of correct. I mean, I guess that's kind of a correct line of thinking. Yeah. You know, I don't see what this kid said as being threatening or being jackhole-ish. I don't think he's being a smart aleck. You know, in other words, let's say that the kid had gone online and said, I'm kind of peeved about what... about what, he just wants to, you know, get people's attention. Right. And he says, I'm kind of peeved about what happened and I'm thinking about suicide bombing Obama. Different. If he said that, he's being a jackhole, correct? Right. But what he did say was not being a jackhole. In fact, I think it was pretty legitimate commentary. It's a true fact. It was a true fact. My guess is he was reported by somebody because he might have some sort of behavioral problems or history. Oh, I bet there's just a skimmer that... takes lines of copy, whatever you say, whether it be on a cell phone or on your Facebook, and it puts it into a machine, and people just, you know, they have to go check out every single lead. You get alerts. Yeah. The phone lines are starting to blow up. M1, angry inch from San Diego, just hung up. M1 cam from Oceanside. Good morning. Good morning. Hey, so, you know, legally, they didn't have to talk to the parents because they were only questioning him. If they were going to...
do something actually legal, like, you know, charge him or something or try to take him somewhere, then sure, but it would be no different if the teachers notified the authorities if they thought that the kid was being, like, abused. Like, the parent doesn't have to be in the loop all the way. I get what you're saying. And personally, I don't know that I think that that kid did anything that warranted questioning. You know, I understand where you guys are coming from with it's a matter of national security. But I don't think he was being a jackhole. And I don't think that he was saying anything threatening. Let's say it goes the other way. And in a month from now, he does something that just blows up. And they're like, well, you had information on him. And I understand what you're saying. But I think that that kid that does that, what you're talking about, says something like, better watch out, Obama. And that's all he put. You know, if he puts that threat.
That's threatening. It's it's sort of it implies something. There's not what this kid wrote doesn't imply anything. He was warning the president, not threatening the president. And I don't even think he was really warning. He was making a commentary. Yes. This was also his account, though. I'd like to see word for word. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we have to keep in mind the facts of the facts. What the kid wrote is what the kid wrote. That's what we've got to keep in mind. M1 Paul from Oceanside. He's just a little kid. You know, little kids say stupid stuff all the time. You can't. The mom and dad have to be there. That's the problem. Thank you. Thank you, Paul. M1 Jesse from San Marcos. I would freak out if somebody pulled my daughter out of class and questioned her without me there, especially over something like Facebook. And I shouldn't say pulled her out of class. Pull her out of class. set her right in an observation area, set her right in the principal's office, and wait until I get there. And even if I can't be in the room, at least let me observe, because that's outrageous. That is absolutely outrageous, especially, I agree with you, Mikey, it was a commentary. There was nothing threatening about that. That's a sensation or a feeling that I'm sure half the nation had.
When Osama bin Laden was taken down, it's okay, we're a target again. It's why the threat level was raised. So, Jesse, you feel like you've got to be notified no matter what. Jay, how come you disagree with that? I think that we've set up so many roadblocks for people to be able to do their job. I think the FBI, they're looking out for the president and the country's best interests. Immediately get in there. My job as a parent is to look out for my child's best interests. and at least afford me the opportunity to do that. Yeah, but all they're doing is questioning. They're not harming. They're not booking the child. They're just asking a few simple questions. Okay, and as a parent, my freak out is, how do I know that for certain? Yeah. Hey, thanks for the call. How do I know it was handled properly? I don't disagree with the questioning, even aggressive questioning, and a little bit of intimidation like you do with teenagers, but I would want to witness what happened. There you go. Thank you, Jesse. I appreciate it. 5701949. So a while back, I mentioned that I had, when I was on vacation, that I watched a documentary called The Bridge. Now, this is a documentary about these people that jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. And apparently, it's been well documented. I had no idea that that many people had jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge.
And this is what we're going to talk about. L.O.B. just saw it. L.O.B., didn't they say that it's one of the most jumped? It is the most. The most. Number one site for suicide. In the country or in the world? Wow. In the world. The Golden Gate Bridge. Now, L.O.B. watched it and was very disturbed. Now, I hope that you don't feel that I led you astray in any way. No, no, no. Okay, good. You didn't. It is fascinating. And I did think that they dealt with the subject matter in a very tasteful way. Tasteful, sensitive. With dignity. Yes. Sensitive and with dignity. I do. I mean, what they could have done is they could have showed the whole thing, you know. And for the most part, they sometimes, but it's very from a very wide shot from very far away. And there's camera work to not. I don't want to give too much away, but there's camera work to not start to finish. Now, LOB, being LOB, decided that when it was over, she was going to spend the next hour researching the people online. Did you? Yes. Now, just because I want to know more about you, Lauren, I want to know more about LOB.
What did you want to know? Because this did not occur to me necessarily to do this, which doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with what you did. Crazy. No, I'm not saying that. What I want to know, though, and in fact, LOB even put this online that she did this, and there were people that were agreeing with her saying, I did too. I did too. Crazy. Now, that doesn't mean that they're crazy, but what I do want to know is why. Why? What did you want to know? What did you want to know? Boyeristic. Boyeristic. Now, at first when I saw things happening, I was like, oh, and started looking away. And then I was like, I'm going to ruin that. I want to see. Me too. Like I needed to see what they were doing right before because there was times where someone seemed so normal. And then the next second, boom. Yes. So there was times where I went back and looked at that. And then I wanted to look at, okay, did they catch heat for like not stopping people? They tried though. They said in the film that they did contact the CHP, but by the time the CHP got there, it was too late. And they said sometimes it was hard to know, like one of the main people that they focus on throughout the film. Yeah. You know, there's so much footage of them. They're like, gosh, why were you just following this guy waiting for him to jump? But what they said was he was doing what most tourists do, which is just walking back and forth north to south for an hour and a half. Right. And they just thought he was like a tourist.
enjoying himself because one minute he looked like he was gazing out and and thinking and you know what i mean you just you never knew who was like it's such a short barrier it's a four-foot barrier yeah that's one thing i found out yeah there's a whole like committee that's trying to create a larger barrier a suicide prevention barrier right um and there's a lot of people that are opposed to this you know to mess with the integrity of this national monument and It was approximately twice a month when it was filmed in 2004 that people were jumping. Right. So there's 24 people that are featured in the film. So I wanted to see some of the stories. I wanted to see some of the people that were survivors that were interviewed. Yeah, it was a survivor. Attempters. How about that? There's not actors that they're following. It's the real people. It's a documentary. And they didn't stop them? Well, they tried. They said their finger was on the button for 911 for like... for everyone that they thought looked like they were about to do it. Why stop them? Why stop them?
Why not put a set of stairs in and make it easy? Put a platform. Jay! Mike, it's called natural selection. No, that's what they want. Weed out the herd, boy. They're not mentally stable if they want to kill themselves. Are you sure? They need help. Some of them go to a place like that in order to be stopped, you know? Sure. It's a last cry for help. Well, then put it like a booth where you can talk to somebody, and then if you don't, then you walk up the stairs. Put a handgun on the bridge. Get your ticket. Load it with bullets, and you just shoot them. Your ticket includes a conversation with... a therapist right before you walk up the stairs to the platform. You are reasoning with unreasonable... They're unreasonable. They're sick people. They're very sick. It'd be a great place for a therapist. I was sad. There was like a girl that they had shown... It's not a bad idea. Well, there's phones up there. I mean, that would be a... Therapy booth? What if? What if? It's not a bad idea. What if they had a booth up there with a therapist? I would say maybe an independent therapist could do that, but I don't think the city's going to provide for that. It's almost like putting ideas in people's head, you know? They have a therapist up there. They have phones up there. What do you mean it's putting an idea in their head? Like, in case you were just on a stroll, here's a therapist if you were thinking about suicide. Maybe you should think about suicide. I mean... Who's going to take that job, by the way? Yeah. I think that's a great job. Do you? So you just walk a guy, you talk a guy literally down from the ledge, and then he's like, eh, changed my mind. And then you watch them jump. Jump. In front of you. Hey, thanks a lot, pal.
Who wants that gig? There was a girl that had attempted, they had her on film attempting twice, and I wanted to see if there was anything. She hadn't attempted, she had been stopped twice, once by a photographer. M1, Alex from Vista. What's going on, Mikey? What's up? Oh, man, I lived in San Francisco from 2003 to 2005, and I was actually surfing under the Golden Gate Bridge, and I think it was like 2004. Saw a guy jump off the bridge. Oh, my God. And about 10 surfers that were out there paddled out into the bay to try and save the guy. And apparently the week before, a guy had jumped. A few of the surfers paddled out, and they actually saved his life. Very sad. What kills him? The impact? Yeah. 75 miles per hour. It's like hitting concrete. Exactly. It was crazy. I mean, it killed my week, man. Like, I got out and basically just wanted to go home. Yeah. It was horrible. Yeah, for sure. That's awful. And, you know, that is a great. Now, I would feel irresponsible if I discuss this and I didn't tell you to go to Mikey show dot com if you're anywhere near that. If you're anywhere near that where you feel like, you know, you're going to throw everything away and that you don't have anything left to live for. Go to Mikey show dot com on the top of Mikey show dot com. There's the word help. And if you go there, there is resources for you for depression and stuff like that, because trust me.
Before I had God in my life, I felt hopeless. I felt like there were times where I wanted to kill myself for sure. And so, you know, if you have that and you feel like you want to die, please, by all means, go to MikeyShow.com and use the resources that are available to you. I think Jay's on to something. What if there was a booth up there with a paid therapist by the state? If we put a preventative measure like a phone for people, which we do. If you drive across the Coronado Bridge, there's a phone that says suicide hotline. Now, that's an embarrassing thing. I'm just saying. That's an embarrassing thing for somebody to be walking there, pick that thing up and be like, hello, and everybody's looking at them. What if you could actually go into a booth? You're there. You're going to jump. You go into a booth. You talk to somebody. I don't know. I think there's not even enough therapists in schools and stuff like that. The state's never going to come up with that money. What about the wall? Build a taller wall. There's people that are against it because of the integrity of the bridge. It makes the bridge look dumb. The fact that so many people go there and don't jump. So many people go and just look across. And they want to see it. And you're ruining it. Yeah, you're ruining it for them. And what if you are? You know, I don't think you're going to find this very shocking. Well, first of all, I'm going to give you the places that you can meet girls. But you're not going to find this very shocking.
Did you know that more men prefer to make sex tapes than women? Did you know that? Of course. Now, do you know why? You may have your ideas on why. Well, we're going to discuss why the sex... What is the psychological thing behind the sex tape? Why the sex tape? Why do we like to film ourselves? Why do men like to film ourselves having sex? The answer next. Bye, gorgeous. Good job. Here's Proustic. Excellent. 570-1949. Or text at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Performing. It's on. I want to see you. Sold out. Keep.
Find listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Triple Hops Rude Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubby's and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. Fox Wednesday. This is it. I think you're just one perfect song away from being American Idol. The top three are set. You've got to start singing to win. Be there as they battle it out one final time to see who will make it to next week's live tonight's American Idol finale. Lauren. I feel like I'm here for a reason. Scotty. You've got to be great every time. Haley. I am here to win this thing. Their fate is in your hands. Buddy the Nexus. American Idol. It's a special two-hour event. American Idol's Top 3 Live. All new tonight starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then... Free gas makes you dance. Pump it free with Fox 5 Free Gas. Yep, free gas. Just watch Fox 5 News at 10 every night. Scan the code or go online for your chance to win a $100 gas card.
Fox 5 Free Gas, tonight after Fox on Fox 5 San Diego. I call this one Best Girlfriend Ever. It had been a long day and an even longer week, so I headed toward the kitchen, refreshment I did seek. But after swinging open the fridge, I saw the most horrific sight. Not a single cold beverage, not a single Coors Light. Perhaps behind the milk or the dill pickle spears, but there was still no Coors Light, no ice cold beers. I grabbed my keys. It was time to hit the store, but stopped when I heard a knock-knock at the door. It was my girlfriend bearing gifts of Coors Light. Best girlfriend ever? You got that right. Thank you, and I love you, Aaron. Frost-brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. If you're going to drink, drink responsibly. Plan for a designated driver, because with great beer comes great responsibility. A reminder from Miller Coors, Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Thousands of customers all over the world are sharing their stories of how Ovation Cell Therapy has helped grow their hair thicker, stronger, longer, and faster. Many of these wonderful stories are from cancer survivors who are excited to tell how Ovation Cell Therapy helped to reduce hair loss due to radiation and chemotherapy treatments. Ovation is proud to be a San Diego partner with Ovation.
Hope's Walk for Hope, presented nationally by Staples. Join the thousands nationwide, committed to ending women's cancers. Be a part of this fundraising event Saturday, May 21st, and help raise money for research, treatment, and education. To sign up for Walk for Hope, visit walkforhope.org. To learn how ovation cell therapy can work for you, log on to ovationhair.com and watch the testimonials, or visit the Ovation booth at Walk for Hope, Saturday, May 21st. We'll be there to answer your questions. OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 for your special introductory discount. Ovation can work for you, too. Looking for a great lunch deal in the neighborhood? One with tons of choices and endless refills? Then come check out Applebee's new all-you-can-eat soup salad and bread for just $6.99. You heard right. Never-ending refills of our piping hot, hearty soups, fresh salads, and warm garlic ciabatta bread. Try as many as you like and eat as much as you like. The possibilities are endless. Go for a classic Caesar salad with French onion soup, then switch it up with a spinach salad and tomato basil soup. Want more soup, more salad, more bread? Just say the word. And for just a little more, you can step it up to one of Applebee's signature salads, like our Oriental chicken salad or grilled shrimp and spinach salad. There's no better lunch deal in the neighborhood, so come eat lunch with us.
It's all-you-can-eat and only $6.99. Only at Applebee's. Applebee's all-you-can-eat lunch available Monday through Friday till 3 p.m. And join the late-night party at Applebee's where you'll find the best happy hour in town. Starting at 9 p.m., $3 domestic Brutus drafts under $5 appetizers, nightly drink specials, and lots of fun. Now open till midnight or later every night. The thing about water is that it all looks like water. And it all feels like water. So it's no surprise when it comes to the water we drink, some folks don't think there's a difference. We believe if you start with something better, you get something better. That's why every drop of Arrowhead 100% mountain spring water comes from carefully selected sources in snow-capped mountains, a tradition that started in 1894. You see, only in places where the elements are just right and the minerals strike a unique balance does nature work in perfect harmony to create 100% mountain spring water with a taste crisp and refreshing enough to be called Arrowhead.
Arrowhead 100% mountain spring water. Born better. Arrowhead is now the official bottled water of the Dodge Rock and Roll San Diego Marathon. Time is precious. Not the one day the baby's born and the next day they're asking to borrow the car kind of precious. But the precious few days to get an amazing deal on a new Honda. Because the nine-day sale is now on at your Honda dealers of San Diego County. From May 22nd until May 30th. All nine Honda dealers are marking down their inventory. They're starting with a nice selection of some of the most popular cars in San Diego, like the Accord, the 2012 Civic, CR-V, and the all-new Odyssey. They're discounting these cars with once-in-a-year price and lease deals. And when they're gone, they're gone. The nine-day sale runs from May 22nd to the 30th at nine Honda dealer locations throughout San Diego County. To find the dealer nearest you, visit SDHondaDealers.com. If you're in the market for a Honda, we've got your number. But hurry, the nine-day sale ends May 30th. At University of Phoenix, we've never been afraid to do things differently. We were one of America's first accredited universities to offer online degree programs. We were also one of the first to reach out to working learners. And now we're doing it all over again by offering you a three-week orientation workshop completely free of charge.
Call 1-866-4-ENROLL to experience university orientation, where you'll learn how to navigate our San Diego area classrooms and how to use our award-winning online learning platforms. You'll also get a chance to work with our enrollment advisors, who can help you find the right degree to match your unique skills and interests. Call University of Phoenix at 1-866-4-ENROLL or visit phoenix.edu slash enroll to get started in a different kind of orientation program. One designed to give you the tools you need to start making a difference in your life. This free orientation workshop is available for students with less than 24 credits. If you're looking for pure summer enjoyment, head to Albertsons. Their fresh produce is picked at the peak of flavor, then rush to the store for superior taste. Just add grilling favorites and bakery fresh buns, and you have everything you need to put together your get-togethers. Fresh summertime fun. You'll find it at Albertsons. This report is brought to you by McDonald's. It's back. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks, just 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change.
Okay, freeway's very, very busy. Carlsbad, 5 northbound after Cannon Road. The right lane's closed until further notice. An injury accident here. Crews are retrieving a car from over the side. Lots of stuff over the side. 15 northbound before Scripps, Poway Parkway. A car has that left lane blocked. The 805 southbound ramp to the 94 eastbound. Two cars stuck on the transition road. Looks like we've got a bus and a car that collided on the 15 southbound at Friars Road. That right lane's blocked. This report brought to you by SeaWorld. San Diego. Your weekends are about to get hotter with SeaWorld's Latin music festival Viva La Musica this weekend on May 21st. Prince Royce on May 22nd. El Gran Combo perform live at SeaWorld. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The reason I've never been comfortable around kids, I'm always petrified they're going to go, you're short and fat. Lauren. I'll tell you that wow and outlasted for about 36 hours. I'm tired. Woods. Don't lie to me, did you lie to girl? Okay. You don't lie to me. Zienna. You know how he likes some farting humor. And Jay. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On FM 94.9. That's that new Danger Mouse Nora Jones record that Woods was talking about yesterday. So why do you think men, more than women, prefer to make sex tapes?
We're going to discuss this in a second. What's going on in news, Sienna? Well, the president of Amtrak is trying to up the security, especially after the death of Osama bin Laden. And they found in his journal him saying that he wanted to approach trains and try to attack people on trains as well. So he's called for stepped up security along the passenger rail network, including its tracks and looking for new technologies that could give advance warning if there is has been tampering with the track. So hopefully. Trains will be safer. Also, Newt Gingrich, who is running for president, owes Tiffany's more than $250,000. Tiffany's the jewelry store. Do you guys think that that's for, like... Sisters. Yeah. Yeah? Yes. I mean, it looks weird. He's admitted to affairs, you know? Oh, wow. Yeah. He's married to his wife, Calista, now. But... You're telling me that there's more than one... That's the bigger news story. There's more than one Calista in a row. Newt, I just saw this article. $750? You're looking for a BMW. A 750i. $750,000 a Tiffany and I don't have a thing.
That was my ex. My ex. My ex. That was definitely my ex. One of? My exes. Your three. My exes. It was my ex. Boy, you bought her a lot of jewelry. I did. I bought her a lot of jewelry. It was actually one jewel. $750,000 jewel. It was a diamond that was worth so much. Was it? What was the cut? It was a GS. Was it Lexus? I can't remember. That's crazy. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? My hair is safe for another six games at least. They lost. They lost last night. The Padres 6-1. If you didn't hear, I said if they win six in a row, I will shave the hideous fryer cut into my own head. And, you know, this bet really sucks for me. I like the Padres. I like when they win. I know. And I'm really afraid of them. The Friars haircut. I don't blame you. So they lost last night 6-1 to the D-backs. They are returning home now. They were 4-4 on the road trip. They'll be taking on the Milwaukee Brewers at 7-0-5, game one of two, against the Brewers. So look forward to that. They are back in the cellar, though, unfortunately. Too bad. Yeah. The voice you just heard is Woodsy. I'm Mikey. Our assistant producer and resident comedian is Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B.
Our news girl is Sienna. Our producer is Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Cross. It's Cross. It's Cross. 7.30 this morning. Eskimo Blue Waters says that she was on the TV show The Voice. That's that new one. Who's in that one? It's that. Christina Aguilera. It's got Christina Aguilera. CeeLo Green. And that country guy. That country guy. Blake Shelton, you guys. Adam Levine as well. Adam Levine and then that country guy. That country guy. Blake Shelton. Let's see. So, oh, and the word of the day is camouflage. So when you hear me say the word camouflage, weave it into a sentence. Caller 9 is going to get a four-pack of tickets to the San Diego County Fair and tickets to see Eddie Vedder. Yes! At Copley Symphony Hall on July the 5th. So, Jay says to me, I don't ever agree with Elizabeth Hasselbeck, but when it comes to this clip about why men make sex tapes, maybe I do. Men love an instant replay. They really do. Look at ESPN. They love to go back, look at a highlight, see what the play was.
She may be right. In terms of why do men like the sex tape, because men, if you look at all sex tapes that have ever been made, predominantly the idea springs forth from the male and not the female. It's very, very rare that you have a girl say, sweetheart, I really think that we should make a sex tape. Now. I know that there's a couple of you squirrely girls in your car right now that go, I ain't dead. But for the most part, it's the guy's idea. Yes. It's also the reason that pornography is more prevalent amongst guys than it is amongst girls. We're more visual than men are or than women are. Agreed, Woodsy? Absolutely. Is that why men make sex tapes? I have no idea why.
Now, all I can do is... What about yours? My sex tape is you'll never see it, but no, I've never made one and never would. Why? Because I'm hideous with my clothes off. It's true. Shut up. Hideous. That's the reason that I would never make one with my wife. Now, they say the camera adds 20 pounds. So they add 10. Eight cameras. They have 15 cameras on me. Right. I've never done it, never would do it. I'm a little bit afraid. Oh, my God. I'm a little bit afraid. But I'm going to ask. Let's do this. You know you can never erase this answer once you have it, right? Jay. Yes, sir. You ever made a sex date? Yes, sir. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, Kim. I'm sorry, Kim. Who says it was Kim? Who says it was Kim? Maybe it was before her. It had to be your wife. Oh, my gosh. I apologize to your kids.
He's got a library. He's got adult kids. They're adults. Probably making their own sex tapes. Woods! Woods! Wow. Woods! We didn't. Woods! No! But the deal was it was immediately erased. Was it? Was it? That was the deal? So you brokered a deal with whoever it was. We never even watched it. Why make it? It was just... It was the thrill of it. Yeah. And then just... Gone. And this guy said you had to erase it once in a while. No, he was fine with it. It was the other two people that... Oh! I'm like... I wish I didn't know. Come on, girl. Let me get that camera out. Yeah. By the way, it was a Victrola. That's the kind of... It was a talkie. It was a talkie. It was a black and white with no sound. The other guy was Charlie Chaplin. Audrey Hepburn was the star. It was on the train tracks. Betty White. Betty White and Catherine Hepburn. They're moving all in fast motion.
Darling, I don't know if you pressed record. I pressed record. You don't worry about it. I don't know. Get that bustier off. You don't know what you're doing. Take that bustier off right now. I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you good. Well, yes, the reason is because men are more visual than women. I just don't want to go back and see that on film. This. Yeah, nobody does. Oh, boy. And for the women. We want to know. You never really know what you look like from behind or anything like that. Oh, my God. That's the only reason we want to do it. Oh, my God. L-O-B? What? Oh, my God. No, I mean, I haven't, but I would. Oh. No, but I think that's the only reason that they would submit to that, to be like, well, maybe I do look hot or like, you know, I don't know. Well, isn't it because the woman feels like she's in her prime? Probably that. And just curious to know. Ella B has the most interesting take on this I've ever heard. And never considered. And I'm going to ask Sienna if she agrees. Aren't you curious? I want to know what I walk like. I have a burning in my loins right now. You want to know what you look like from that particular angle. From someone else's point of view altogether. From someone else's point of view altogether. There's a curiosity.
Now, again, I am making no judgment call here. I'm only telling you that I have never, me, I have never been curious about very, I'm telling, with me. But I'm not, hey, listen, you're a good looking blonde girl. You're a good looking blonde. Me, I'm an unattractive Mexican. Isolate. But you're like me in that I like to imitate. And I like to watch people's mannerisms and listen to their voice and be able to like, I can like do somebody else and like. Whoa. Literally. Like imitate them. You know what I mean? So I'm always, I'm like, what would an imitation of me? Like, what do I walk? Like, what are the weird things I do? Just get mad at a helmet cam. Holy smoke. Just kind of leveled the room with that one, didn't he? It's like a bomb. It's very visual. It's very visual.
Doesn't leave much the imagination on that one, doesn't it? Zero. Sienna? Yeah. Do you agree with Lauren's take that the reason that a woman would want to make a sex tape is because she's curious about another person's point of view? I think she's on to something. I think that that is a reason. I mean, why else do football players review the tapes of their games and stuff like that? They want to see, I would think more of they want to see how they can improve. What about a mirror? No, a mirror. That's so creepy. No, you don't want to focus on that. Lauren just demonstrated. It was terrifying. You don't want to focus on looking at yourself during. You'd want to see the aftermath. And you alone would want to watch it. Like, as a woman. So you're saying. The woman wouldn't want anyone else to watch it. Excuse me. L.O.B. and Sienna. Are you two telling me that it would be the equivalent of game film? I think so. Yeah. See improvements. I'm like, how can I suck my stomach in? That's a flattering position. Yes. I will do that more often than not. But no one's.
Viewing it. He's not. But I mean for the next, you know. The only reason you would want, the only reason that would be useful to you is if you had an audience of eight people and they were sitting there. For the most part though. Like a play. For the most part, women are very critical and men seem to like the angles that we would think are unflattering. Very uncomfortable. And so for a woman to see what the man is seeing, they may understand. I just understood what you meant. You know what I mean? I just understood. I just had a flash of the different family members of mine that are listening to the show. Oh, yeah. I had the same thing. Hey, I'm coming from the married perspective. I'm not. I've never even thought about doing it. Ever. Never thought about doing it. Wow. Never. I will say I've heard from friends, married couples, of course, that instantly regret. They're like, don't. No. I would never do it again. Oh, I know people that are not married that instantly regret it. Oh, yes. But I'm just saying that no one ever is impressed or flattered by themselves. I'm sure there are some people that are impressed, but no one I would want to be friends with. I don't know. I look pretty good. I mean, I guess you haven't seen mine. I'll bring it in. I'll throw it up on one of them old screens. Do we have a projector? Mike, you got a reel to reel? I'll bring it in.
We'll get some popcorn and some fish, and we'll just sit around and watch. Fish? Oh, wow. Fish and chips. Yeah, fish and chips. I'll make it. Oh, wow. Fish and chips. Maybe I never hear that again. I did it. Done it. Done several hundred. I'd do it again. I'd do it again. I'd do it tonight. You should do one. Put it on Facebook. Put it on your blog. People don't have enough money to be able to afford mine. They often use my body as a stand-in on a lot of adult films. Well, Michelangelo did. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. 570-1949. Mike, have you ever been approached or asked?
Today? I mean, just today. You know what I mean. By an ex-girlfriend? Really? Never. Me neither. Of course not, but that's because, you know, I'm not the most. It's funny because he's fat. I wouldn't be the guy. I wouldn't be the guy either. I wouldn't be the guy. Just farmers tanned up real good. Giant boobs flopping around. Me, not her. I laughed the whole time. Sienna has four places to meet women. Let's see. Number one. Don't say it. Family and friends event. What's wrong with that? That one's okay. I'll get behind that. It's a great one. Yeah, isn't it? See, that's a good one, right? Yeah, meeting through friends is usually a golden move. Yeah, I see that. Instant M. Coffee shop. Get. Fake bit. Fake bit. It's a fake bit because it's SG&T.
Sounds good, not true. Sounds good, not true. Sounds good, not true. It sounds good when you say it. Oh, coffee shop. Yes. People are always just hanging out at Starbucks. Yeah, and why? Why? You're a creep. No. I said it. I said it. Start up a conversation. I said it. Wouldn't you rather have your laptop on your lap lying on the couch? Get your house? Just happy and comfy? I love coffee shops. Men that hang out at coffee shops solo? Creeps. Yeah. Can be. Definitely can be. I'd say 96% creeps. No. So looped. Yes. You're a creep. Well, not in all. I've gone to the coffee shop to write. You fall into the 96% then. And I know a guy that goes to a coffee shop to write. What were you writing? What was your house? I didn't want to. I wanted to write someplace where... Right in your yard. That's the best. When I write my stand-up, I go to a coffee shop. You're observing people. John Keats over there? Writing poetry at Starbucks? Yes.
I'm John Keese over here just writing poetry at Starbucks. Sonnets. Number three. While you're shopping. Don't say it. SGNT. SGNT. What? Sounds good. It's not true. You don't hit on girls at a grocery store. You hit on girls at a grocery store? I didn't hit on guys. I used to when I was single. You hit on guys at the grocery store? Have you ever tried that before? You did, L.O.B.? Yeah. Now that guy. That's the luckiest guy in the world when the girl initiates the shopping flirt. That doesn't usually happen. You really did? Oh, yeah. Seaside Market, I'm telling you. That is a meat market. I mean, literally. Lots of good-looking people. Lots of opportunities for, hey, have you tried this yet? Oh, yeah. If you... You know, this was an idea that I was going to bring up at our meeting today.
I'll say it now. We'll discuss it another time. I was going to say there's got to be a topic in when chicks say stuff to guys and the guy thinks that they're flirting. Yes. Because I think that there's a topic in that. Now, that would be a time where I would think it would be the guy thinks that you're flirting, LLB. But a lot of times maybe you're not. You're not. But in that one, you are. It depends on the accompanying look. Oh, you got to read the eyes. What's happening with my eyelashes? What's my body language say? See, I know L.O.B., and I honestly think that she really wants to know how that hemp flax tastes. Yes. And if he has tried said hemp flax. But if she's smiling, if she's smiling, she wants it. She wants research. If she's not smiling, she doesn't want you.
If she's smiling, she wants you desperately. If I really wanted to know, I'd ask somebody that worked there. If I just wanted to strike up a convo, I'd ask, you know. Oh, so that's telling every guy right now that if a girl asks you a question at the supermarket. Hit on her. She wants you. She wants it. Is that true, Sienna? I don't agree with that. You wouldn't do that. Well, I'm not one to go up and flirt. I'm not like that. And I'm bad at it when I was single. But I would go up to an old man and ask that. And, you know, clearly I'm not hitting on him. Go ahead. How old is your husband? Well, he is 13 years old. Hello, dear. And then last is do some good in the world or for your body. Now, the body speaks for itself, you know, getting in shape. But doing good for the world means.
That if you're out and you're doing volunteer stuff. That's a good one. Beach cleanup. Yeah. Volunteer at like an animal shelter. Done. Done. Of course. Fish in a barrel, pal. Isn't it? You go in there, you're washing dogs. There's a single girl in there. You're like, gosh, these poor babies. Done. Sienna, come on, right? Yeah. Of course. Whenever there's like animals involved. I got a good one. Kids. It's not on the list. What? Great one. What? The dog park. I have a friend. You know him. Yeah. Bark Malman. He's like 10 for 10 at the dog park. Does he have a dog? Yeah, he's got a dog. I know a girl right now. And she's a very young, attractive woman. Met her boyfriend at the dog park. Done. Did you hear about the gay guy that dumped something on Newt Gingrich at a book signing? We have audio of it. We'll tell you what he dumped on him next. More than likely. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. When he finishes his morning cup of coffee, he flies home from Columbia. Objects in his side view mirror appear exactly as they are. He believes the pen is mightier than the sword, especially his patented gun pen.
Hardware stores, were his idea, have been known to attract bald eagles. It doesn't matter if they're running a sale or not. He's getting up to 50% off select mattresses. If you were to say, oh, no, he didn't, chances are, oh, yes, he did. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanos, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friend. We know you want ultimate performance and ultimate fuel efficiency. So now BMW Encinitas is making it easier to drive a new BMW. Now you can lease a new 2011 535i sedan with the ultimate MPG, 30 highway miles per gallon for just...
$579 a month plus tax. And with BMW picking up your first four years or 50,000 miles maintenance, you'll save thousands over the life of your BMW. Going on now at BMW Encinitas. Get the ultimate savings and ultimate fuel efficiency. A 535i with 30 miles per gallon for just $579 a month. BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or visit us online at bmwencinitas.com. I think you're just one perfect song away from being American Idol. The top three are set. You've got to start singing to win. Be there as they battle it out one final time to see who will make it to next week's live, tonight's American Idol finale. Lauren. I feel like I'm here for a reason. Scotty. You've got to be great every time. Haley. I am here to win this thing. Their fate is in your hands. One of them. Be the next American Idol. It's a special two-hour event. American Idol's Top 3 Live. All new tonight starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then... Free Gas makes you dance. Pump it free with Fox 5 Free Gas.
Yep, free gas. Just watch Fox 5 News at 10 every night. Scan the code or go online for your chance to win a $100 gas card. Fox 5 Free Gas, tonight after Fox on Fox 5 San Diego. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why? Because, as a small business owner, it's more than your job. It's what you love. and you need technology that keeps pace with your passion. That's why Verizon delivers all the wireless solutions you need to make sure your business rules. Verizon technology gives you the power to enable growth and boost productivity because only Verizon offers an arsenal of advanced devices, powerful business apps, and mobile security safeguards, all backed by unrivaled customer support and the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. More small businesses choose Verizon Wireless than any other wireless carrier because they know. a small business with the best technology, rules. Now get the lightning-fast Thunderbolt by HTC for only $249.99. No rebate required. Exclusively at Verizon. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash smallbusiness, or call 1-800-VZW-4Biz. Requires new tier activation and data pack, early termination and other fees apply. Preference results based on third-party study. Make your weekends even hotter at Z-World with Viva La Musica this Saturday and Sunday.
This fiery festival celebrating Hispanic heritage is coming to a close, and you don't want to miss it. Experience Latin culture all around with savory, authentic cuisine, local entertainment, and performances from today's hottest international Latin artists live at Cirque Stadium. This Saturday and Sunday catch the final weekend of Viva La Musica featuring Prince Royce on May 21st and El Gran Combo on May 22nd. Enjoy this weekend of Viva La Musica along with all your favorite SeaWorld rides, shows, and animal encounters with a fun card. Pay for a day. Play all year. It's the last weekend of Viva La Musica at SeaWorld. For showtimes or to buy your fun card, visit SeaWorld.com slash Viva. Concert seating is limited. Entertainment subject to change without notice. Event included with park admission. Restrictions apply. Welcome to the REI anniversary sale. Hi, we're going camping and need a roomy... Marmot limestone four-person tent. Yes, and for the mosquitoes, I need a... Exofficio Bugs Away Halo shirt. Ooh, that'll look good with my... Chaco ZX2 sandals. Whoa, you're like my outdoor stylist.
We know what you need because we know what you love. Shop REI's anniversary sale and save up to 30% May 20th through 30th. Plus, members get 20% off one full price item. Exclusions apply. REI. Find out. Visit REI in Chula Vista at Otay Ranch Town Center, Encinitas, and San Diego or shoprei.com. At Miller Lite, we believe if you're not choosing a light beer with more taste, you need to man up, not man down. Because up is way better than down. You don't tell someone sad to cheer down. What's down, dog? A steamy pile and you just stepped in it. Your girlfriend's not wearing a push-down bra. It's called gravity, Isaac Nitwit. Can I be down front with you? All this down talk is bringing me down. So don't man down. Man up and choose a light beer with more taste. Triple Hops brewed Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Great beer, great responsibility. Miller Lite is proud to once again be presenting FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal invasion at the Oceanside Pier on June 5th. Great beer, great responsibility. Triple Hops brewed Miller Lite. Taste greatness.
This report, it's brought to you by Shell. All three grades of Shell gas contain their nitrogen-enriched cleaning system to protect critical engine parts against performance-robbing gunk. Try Shell nitrogen-enriched gas today. Well, we got a lot of stuff happening here. Carlsbad on the 5 northbound after Cannon Road. A right lane is closed here until further notice. It is a Sigalert, too. It's a car that went over the side. They still haven't picked that thing up yet. An injury accident there as well. 15 northbound Mercy Road. We got an accident blocking the third lane from the left on the 15. southbound after friars rode an accident that's got the right lane blocked and it looks like uh also a problem here on the um let's see my computer died on the 15 southbound after gopher canyon rode an injury accident another car right over the side this report brought to you by carfax looking for a good deal on a great used car start your search looking for carfax advantage dealer every car comes with a free carfax vehicle history report just say show me the carfax i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning. Brought to you by the world premiere of Manufacturing Stokes. Sold out on Saturday night, but tickets available for Sunday. Check it out. Surf-wise, today we are looking at a combination of the increasing southwesterly swell with some west-northwesterly wind and groundswell. All getting pretty well pummeled by as the storm front moves on through.
Southerly winds pretty much disrupting all areas for the most part. A couple corners can be found here and there, those little protected areas. Size-wise, looking at waist chest, shoulder height surf, maybe some pluses on that. But that water quality is somewhat suspect as well as the last two days of rain, although not real heavy, has been steady enough to wash some nasty stuff out the gutters. So beware before you paddle out if you choose to do so. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for your stoke on Saturday or Sunday, check out Manufacturing Stoke at Bird Surfshed. The surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. And I wear like a 44-7. Small. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. Woods. I mean, hey, listen, I did snuff on the plane, okay? Zienna. I put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jake. You'd have to be dying not to come down and help you. Yeah. I would have to have had my arm chopped off. On FM 94.9. Yo, remember back on the bully when cats used to harm and I was like? Yo. Yo. Yo. My men and my women, don't forget about the day. Listen out the most, the king. Yo. It's about a thing.
EBW will be here in just a minute. Know what I saw yesterday? What? If I were you, I would search for this on your DVR. Listen, if there was something called the Camouflage Channel, I would watch it. Might as well, because I love the Military Channel. But this was actually on Nat Geo. It's called Killing Bin Laden. Dude, it's so good. It's a one-hour special where they use 3D animation to show you what they did inside the compound. Sweet. And they explain from start to finish how it began. Like, in other words, how the plan was hatched, why they thought that he was there.
What they did to try to identify him there, because he never walked by any of the, you know, he never came outside, never walked by any of the windows. And they were using this technology where they were, it was like a laser beam that they shined onto the window of the compound. And this laser beam attached to headphones picked up the vibrations and, transmitted the vibrations into sound so that they could listen from a long distance away what was being said inside the place. Wow. How badass is that? That's badass. Insane. With a laser. Like from, you know, they're sitting on a, like, a hilltop. They shine the laser beam onto the window, put these headphones on, translates the vibrations from inside the house so they could hear what was going on. It's incredible. Incredible. Did you buy cheese? Yesterday? I don't know. You didn't say to get cheese. When you make the list, please, next time put cheese on the list. Because I can't eat, you know, regular cheese. I need a low fat. Well, you and I thought...
Are you asking for soy cheese or are you asking? No, the low fat. I can't eat the regular. It makes me, you know, bunch up a little bit. Okay, well, happy birthday because I like the regular, but I guess I get you. Fine, we have plenty of money. You pull down decent buck. I pull down decent buck. We put our money together. We get both cheeses. Did we or did we not agree we're not going to fight about money? Agreed, agreed. Let's agree to disagree. Oh, how about we agree that I have to eat? The crappy cheese because somebody has a poo-poo problem. Yes, I get very bunched up in the morning. Here's a crazy idea. Maybe you don't eat cheese. I do. Fair enough. Then I get the regular cheese. This is what they're listening to. I don't know. Should we even go in? Is he even really a threat anymore? Do we take him cheese? This is M1 Malone from Vista. What was the word of the day? That was camouflaged, my man. That is correct, my friend. That is correct. You just won tickets to see Eddie Vedder. Yeah. Yeah, I can't wait, man. Yeah, dude. And you also got a four-pack of tickets to the fair, San Diego County Fair, opening on June 10th, going through July 4th, as you know. And congratulations. You just listened for the word of the day, and you heard it, and you called, and you won.
So jealous. Hey, Mikey. Yeah. I came out to OSI and, you know, it was an awesome time, man. I loved it. Thank you. I'm glad you had fun. And by the way, if you still want to get that sticker, you can. The Mikey Show sticker is available right here at our FM 94.9 studios in Mission Valley. And it's also available at the San Diego Harley Davidson on Kearney Mesa Road. Is it Kearney Mesa Road? It's off of, I think so, yeah. It's off to 163. Hey, Mike. Yes, Jay. What's his name? It's M1 Malone. M1 Malone. You ain't going to hurt my feelings if you want to take me with you to see you any better. You want to rock out some veterans? Yeah, hell yeah. Hang on the line, Malone. All right. You ain't going to hurt my feelings. You ain't going to hurt my feelings if you give me your winnings. You can be honest. Be honest, y'all. You want to give it to me. take them or else I would, but you give them to me, that's okay. That's a different story. So, this is audio of a protester that walked up to Newt Gingrich as Newt Gingrich was signing books in Minneapolis and proceeded to throw glitter on him. Newt, stop anti-gay politics.
It's dividing our country and it's not fixing our economy. Do it like a man. Nice to live in Africa. So then, now he's just sitting there at the table, right? And they pour this, this guy walks up in line. He's dressed all nice. Looks like a nice, you know, cute little Republican. And he's got a satchel and he pulls out a box of what looks like, it looked like cereal, but it was full of glitter. And he pours it all over the table. And it goes on Newt and Newt's wife. Now listen to this. This is a security guy kicking the protester out. Now, just so you have the visual, protester and a girl that he was with who was filming it. Obviously not his girlfriend. Well, okay. A girlfriend, but not his girlfriend. Just a girl that's a friend. It's a girl that's a friend. It's a gal pal is what she is. A gal pal.
Okay? Couple gals out on the town. Exactly. Now, they're in the elevator, and as the elevator door is closing, this is what the security guard is saying to them. So goes you, goes the rotting of our country. Have you ever seen us attend one of your events? Have we disturbed your events? Never. Peace be with you. Hello. Wow, that's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. Have we ever disturbed one of your events? Peace be with you. Peace be with you. Security guards ever. He should have gone dun, dun, dun. Well, he did have his pinky up to his mouth. Yes, yes. With one eye closed. He did. Same thing could have happened to me if I was having a book signing. Same thing did happen to you, didn't it? A few years back. I remember that. Hey, how you doing? Hello, Michael. Hi, it's Mikey. Mikey, what's your name?
My name is Bryce. How are you doing, Bryce? Good to see you. I'm good, Mike. Oh, thanks. I love your show. It's fabulous. Well, thank you, man. It's great. I really love how... I love how you hate gays. I don't hate gays. You hate gays, Mike. I don't hate gays. Oh, gosh. That's glitter. Sir, we're going to need you. Excuse me. Do not touch me. Do not touch me. Mikey, Mikey, go away. Stop the hate another day. Okay, thanks. I don't hate anybody. Mikey. I don't hate anybody. Don't you. Can you get him out of here? Don't you. I don't hate anybody. I don't hate anyone. Girl, do your dirty work. Imagine that. Move back, sir. You're filthy. Move back. You disgust me. Move back. Thanks. You disgust me. I don't hate games. Oh, wow. You okay, Mr. Esparza? I'm fine. You have glitter all over your face. In your eyelashes. It's in my eye? In your eyelashes. It's in my eyelashes. In your beard. In my goatee here. Yeah. I don't. Hang on a minute.
Is it on my tongue? Yes. A little bit. It's like it's stuck in that makeup you have on your face, too. Yeah, it's stuck in my eye shadow. Well, anyway, that's what happened to poor Newt. Eskimo Blue Waters is here. Hello, Eskimo. What's the matter? You guys done with the theatrics in here? Yes, we're done with the theatrics. It's great. I've got more important things going on. Eskimo Blue Waters is 32-year-old Judy Douche. You're wrong on both accounts. What am I wrong? I'm in my 20s. First of all, my original name is Judy Douche, but I dropped that a long time ago. Yeah, but it's spelled D-O-U-C-H-E. Accent over the E. Got it. Well, you can see. She's got the...
Dreamcatcher earrings. Bret Michaels, female version. Yeah, it looks like the female version of Bret. I have a fringe leather jacket on. One of those really hard cowboy hats. Yeah, when I can't. That's what she said. Okay, well, it didn't really work. Hard cowboy hat. She's nervous. Sorry. Funny is not my thing. So what's the deal? Oh, yeah. What's the deal, Eskimo? Well. Mike, you in particular, are always making fun of my singing. Uh-huh. It's Mikey. Go ahead. Okay. But they all call you Mikey. I know, but they're on the show. They're on the program. On the program. Yeah. But somebody, in fact, four big somebodies, think I'm quite good. The Voice, right? You were on The Voice. You familiar with the show? I know you love Christina Aguilera. I do. So this new show on NBC, Christina Aguilera's on it. That Country Guy is on it. Mike Shelton. CeeLo Green. And Adam Levine from Maroon 5. It's a tiny little show with tiny little stars. No big deal. Now, you said that you went down, made it on the show because of your singing, and that you're going to be on an upcoming episode. I will. I'm not even supposed to have this audio, but I brought one of those little recorders with me. And so you have proof that you are on The Voice. Yeah. Wow.
claim that that's what this is here that I'm about to play. Yeah, it went pretty well, to say the least. Let's dig a listen. Hello, my name is Eskimo Blue Waters, and I'm going to do a song called Banging on Hell's Gate. And I'm going to do it acapella because I forgot my guitar. Maybe it is real. And a one, and a two, and a three, and a four, and a five. I'm going to take those shades from me. I can use them any day. It's getting bright, so bright for me. I feel I'm banging on Hell's Gate. Bang, bang, banging on Hell's Gate. Bang, bang, banging on Hell's Gate. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. You got the attention of four of the biggest artists in the world. Amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you guys. Wow. I did not expect that. I've never heard that song, but I'm pretty sure no one can sing it as well as you just did. Thank you.
I'm not even sure if that's a country song. That's a country song. Okay, Blake, take it easy. I know, I know. He's already, yeah, he's already going nuts. He is, yeah, I know. I think I could kind of offer you a slightly different angle, a slightly different approach to what you already do, but you really don't need much help, man. You're incredible. Oh, thank you, thank you. Man, man. Oh, yeah, you don't have to call me man. I'll be honest with you, I don't know that country is even your thing necessarily. You can probably do any kind of music you want to do. You're that kind of a singer, you know what I'm saying? Thank you so much. You've got a lot of options. I'm not sure I made it clear. I really want to work with you very, very badly. Oh, thank you. I would be honored. Well, obviously you've got all of us to turn our chairs, so I think that goes without saying for all of us. Your voice triggered my instincts like that. You were mastering the distinctive notes within each particular ad lib and run and riff, and I would feel honored to have you on it. Wow, I don't... You guys are incredible. It's empowering in numerous ways to have my back turn to you. It lets me know that my heart is working. And nothing else seems to matter at the moment than to turn around. And I'm glad that that beautiful voice came out of you. Oh, me too. I'm really glad, too. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Really. It's incredible. That's the stupidest signal of the head. So choose whoever you want me. What? I missed it. Oh, now I get to pick. You're so stupid. Well, Christina, you're beautiful. Oh.
Really, dude? Really? That's the stupidest thing. You're supposed to cut the ending off. Eskimo. I watched that episode and you weren't even on it. The worst editor she's on. Going to GarageBand? It's the worst thing I've ever heard. What do you mean? That's me. That's you. When is that going to be on then? Oh, I can't talk about it. Oh, really? You can't talk about it? Yeah, kind of like Jason Priestley would. I can't talk about that. So you're saying to me that that is going to be on an upcoming episode of The Voice. Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll look forward to that. I'll tell you what, Eskimo. If it is, then props to you. But strangely, that seemed edited. It did. Poorly. But yes. Edited. It was seamless, really. Seamless. It was in my pocket, the recorder, the whole time. Yeah. I don't know where that Charlie Sheen drop came from. Me either. Possibly from the array that's on the computer in the office where you were editing it. She's nervous. She might have bumped up against the array and hit a drop on accident. EBW, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks, EBW. Thanks for the support. You got it.
Speaking of Christina Aguilera, she was on the Today Show yesterday. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks she's a really attractive lady. You are. Right now, you are. I guess right now, right? She's pretty. Sienna says she's pretty. Ella B? Oh, wow. Ella B's got a face that says maybe she didn't necessarily agree. Oh, wow. She's making a cheek face. It's a cheek face. Oh. You're imitating Adele. No! Wait a minute. Yesterday, excuse me. No, I didn't. No, you made a face. Her face looks puffy like she's been drinking a lot or something. I've had that puffy face. That's my college face. I know Woods got in trouble yesterday for saying that the singer Adele... You just asked about her attractiveness. I did. I did ask about her attractiveness. And I've seen Christina Aguilera look better. She's doing something unhealthy about herself. Well, actually, L.O.B.'s on to something. Because that's exactly what Matt Lauer asked her about. Oh, wow. I mentioned I was reading about you last night to prepare for this. And it has been. There have been some tough times in this year. The national anthem thing, the fall at the Grammys, the divorce. Almost fall. The public intoxication. There was a time where people, your friends, the people who love you the most, tried to intervene.
In your life. Is that true or is that an exaggeration? What, Woods? I think there were some definite ex... What? Intervene. She messed up the national anthem. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Public intoxication. What do you mean? Big deal. You're out walking down the street, had a few drinks. There's a couple incidents. Oh, boy. She also was at that dude... What's that guy's name that was in The Hurt Locker? Jeremy Renner. Jeremy Renner. She also went over to his house uninvited to a party that he had. That's true. Got wasted and fell asleep in his bed. Who hasn't done that? That's a true, okay, you kind of got me there. Gruntled employees along the way that, you know, whenever things. So she's saying, when you say people were trying to intervene and help me, disgruntled employees. Happened like this to you? Some people just want to kick you when you're down.
And, you know, for me, you know, I've been in this business a very long time. I've been doing, I've been singing since I was six years old. You know, you're going to have your high moments and your low moments, but it's after that specific time, you know, right now I feel that I've found my true friends and the people who really are there for me and have stuck by me and just... supported me. When you're going through a hard time, you don't need people judging and ridiculing you. The people that are around you are going to be the ones to support you and love you through whatever difficult time you're going through. You did have those people, too. You had the friends, because there were people who were not attacking you, who were genuinely concerned about you. Well, only I know that on a deeper level of whose intentions were what. And after you've been in this business for quite some time, you're able to weed out, okay, is this person just on a power trip? feeding frenzy of, you know, this is what's great for you. And some people like the drama of creating it, you know, around you to make themselves look better. Like, oh, I saved her whenever. Really, you just have to be a friend and support. What do you make of that, Woods? I make that her bit is, basically, I just got rid of everybody that held me accountable. And those that held me accountable, they're not my true friends. Because my true friends would never judge me. They would let me do whatever I want.
And get away with it. 100%. And be there for me. 100%. And that's, you know, that's a, boy, you're in denial with that attitude. You know what I mean? Because he's right. They were trying to help you. That's all they were doing. They were just trying to help you. What you're going to hear when we come back may disturb you a little bit. You see, it's a guy proposing to his girlfriend in a mall. And her saying no. Oh. Oh. FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets.
FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Triple Hops. Rude Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubbies and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like Friday night, Aloe Black will be at the belly up. And Saturday night, System of a Down are playing Cricket Wireless. Transfers at the Casbah on the 27th. June 1st, it's Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra at Soma. And June 5th, the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, which is now sold out. Meat Puppets play the Casbah June 14th. Matt and Kim in the Thermals are at House of Blues June 16th. And you can see a perfect circle at the Open Air Theater July 26th. July 30th is that big show, L.A. Rising, at the L.A. Coliseum with Rage Against the Machine, Muse, and Rise Against, just to name a few. Big Sonic Chill presents Sia at House of Blues, August 11th. Death Cab for Cutie hit the remake, August 16th, 3-11, and Sublime with Rome play Cricket Wireless, August 19th. And you can see Kings of Leon there on September 4th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows.
The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. Dude, what happened last night? I can't find my Super Big Gulp cup. What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup. All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven, but what happened after that? Hey, I think we got kidnapped. By a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah, and they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Oh, mi amigos. No way, he's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right, and he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait, didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah, I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub.
Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today, only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie, The Hangover Part 2, in theaters May 26th. Hey, Mike, where's that our old pal Woodsy? Woods went to the bathroom. Well, he's got a dang spot he's supposed to be doing right now. Jay, you can fill in for him. You can do it. I'm not kidding. He shirks his responsibilities all the time, and I'm sick of it. You got his back. All right, fine. Well, I know that Woods, our old pal Woodsy, went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Hey, wait a minute. It's not Medi-Cal. That's a completely different thing. Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. That's a long name. Yep, but that's the name. Well, if you'd like to get LASIK like our old pal Woodsy, go to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. He met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff. Can you do that, Jay, in a way that sounds a little bit more natural? He met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff. Emphasis on the wrong words. He met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff and he got LASIK surgery. You know who else she did, Mike? Well, you know who else's eyes she did? Who? Tony Hawk. You know who taught him how to skate?
Hope's Walk for Hope, presented nationally by Staples. Join the thousands nationwide, committed to ending women's cancers. Be a part of this fundraising event Saturday, May 21st, and help raise money for research, treatment, and education. To sign up for Walk for Hope, visit walkforhope.org. To learn how ovation cell therapy can work for you, log on to ovationhair.com and watch the testimonials, or visit the Ovation booth at Walk for Hope, Saturday, May 21st. We'll be there to answer your questions. OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 for your special introductory discount. Ovation can work for you, too. Looking for a great lunch deal in the neighborhood? One with tons of choices and endless refills? Then come check out Applebee's new all-you-can-eat soup, salad, and bread for just $6.99. You heard right, never-ending refills of our piping hot, hearty soups, fresh salads, and warm garlic ciabatta bread. Try as many as you like and eat as much as you like. The possibilities are endless. Go for a classic Caesar salad with French onion soup, then switch it up with a spinach salad and tomato basil soup. Want more soup, more salad, more bread? Just say the word.
And for just a little more, you can step it up to one of Applebee's signature salads, like our Oriental chicken salad or grilled shrimp and spinach salad. There's no better lunch deal in the neighborhood, so come eat lunch with us. It's all you can eat and only $6.99. Only at Applebee's. Applebee's all-you-can-eat lunch available Monday through Friday till 3 p.m. And join the late-night party at Applebee's where you'll find the best happy hour in town. Starting at 9 p.m., $3 domestic Brutus drafts, under $5 appetizers, nightly drink specials, and lots of fun. Now open till midnight or later every night. The thing about water is that it all looks like water. And it all feels like water. So it's no surprise when it comes to the water we drink, some folks don't think there's a difference. We believe if you start with something better, you get something better. That's why every drop of Arrowhead 100% mountain spring water comes from carefully selected sources in snow-capped mountains, a tradition that started in 1894. You see, only in places where the elements are just right and the minerals strike a unique balance does nature work in perfect harmony to create 100% mountain spring water with a taste crisp and refreshing enough to be called Arrowhead. Arrowhead 100% mountain spring water. Born better.
Arrowhead is now the official bottled water of the Dodge Rock and Roll San Diego Marathon. Time is precious. Not the one day the baby's bored and the next day they're asking to borrow the car kind of precious. But the precious few days to get an amazing deal on a new Honda. Because the nine-day sale is now on at your Honda dealers of San Diego County. From May 22nd until May 30th, all nine Honda dealers are marking down their inventory. They're starting with a nice selection of some of the most popular cars in San Diego, like the Accord, the 2012 Civic, CR-V, and the all-new Odyssey. They're discounting these cars with once-in-a-year price and lease deals. And when they're gone, they're gone. The nine-day sale runs from May 22nd to the 30th at nine Honda dealer locations throughout San Diego County. To find the dealer nearest you, visit SDHondaDealers.com. If you're in the market for a Honda, we've got your number. But hurry, the nine-day sale ends May 30th. At University of Phoenix, we've never been afraid to do things differently. We were one of America's first accredited universities to offer online degree programs. We were also one of the first to reach out to working learners. And now we're doing it all over again by offering you a three-week orientation workshop completely free of charge. Call 1-866-4-ENROLL to experience university orientation.
where you'll learn how to navigate our San Diego area classrooms and how to use our award-winning online learning platforms. You'll also get a chance to work with our enrollment advisors, who can help you find the right degree to match your unique skills and interests. Call University of Phoenix at 1-866-4-ENROLL or visit phoenix.edu slash enroll to get started in a different kind of orientation program, one designed to give you the tools you need to start making a difference in your life. This free orientation workshop is available for students with less than 24 credits. If you're looking for pure summer enjoyment, head to Albertsons. Their fresh produce is picked at the peak of flavor, then rushed to the store for superior taste. Just add grilling favorites and bakery fresh buns, and you have everything you need to put together your get-togethers. Fresh summertime fun. You'll find it at Albertsons. This report is brought to you by McDonald's. It's back. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks, just 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change.
Okay, freeway's very, very busy. Carlsbad, 5 northbound after Cannon Road. The right lane's closed until further notice. An injury accident here. Crews are retrieving a car from over the side. Lots of stuff over the side. 15 northbound before Scripps, Poway Parkway. A car has that left lane blocked. The 805 southbound ramp to the 94 eastbound. Two cars stuck on the transition road. Looks like we've got a bus and a car that collided on the 15 southbound at Friars Road. That right lane's blocked. This report brought to you by SeaWorld. San Diego. Your weekends are about to get hotter with SeaWorld's Latin music festival Viva La Musica this weekend on May 21st. Prince Royce on May 22nd. El Gran Combo perform live at SeaWorld. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. BBCT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. The reason I've never been comfortable around kids, I'm always petrified they're going to go, you're short and fat. Lauren. I'll tell you that wow and outlasted for about 36 hours. I'm tired. Woods. Don't lie to me, did you lie to girl, okay? You don't lie to me. Zienna. You know how he likes some farting humor. And Jay. They will eat my edamame if I leave it out too long. On FM 94.9. That's that new Danger Mouse, Nora Jones record that Woods was talking about yesterday. So why do you think men, more than women, prefer to make sex tapes?
We're going to discuss this in a second. What's going on in news, Sienna? Well, the president of Amtrak is trying to up the security, especially after the death of Osama bin Laden. And they found in his journal him saying that he wanted to approach trains and try to attack people on trains as well. So he's called for stepped up security along the passenger rail network, including its tracks and looking for new technologies that could give advance warning if there is has been tampering with the track. So hopefully. Trains will be safer. Also, Newt Gingrich, who is running for president, owes Tiffany's more than $250,000. Tiffany's the jewelry store. Do you guys think that that's for, like... Mistress. Yeah. Yeah? Yes. I mean, it looks weird. He's admitted to affairs, you know? Oh, wow. Yeah. He's married to his wife, Calista, now. But... You're telling me that there's more than one. That's the bigger news story. There's more than one Calista in a row. Newt. I just saw this article. $750. You're looking for a BMW. A 750i. $750,000 a Tiffany and I don't have a thing. That was my axe. My axe.
That was definitely my ex. One of? My exes. Your three. My exes. It was my ex. Boy, you bought her a lot of jewelry. I did. I bought her a lot of jewelry. It was actually one jewel. $750,000 jewel. It was a diamond that was worth so much. Was it? What was the cut? It was GS. Was it Lexus? GS or something? I can't remember. That's crazy. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well... My hair is safe for another six games at least. They lost? They lost last night. The Padres 6-1. If you didn't hear, I said if they win six in a row, I will shave the hideous fryer cut into my own head. And, you know, this bet really sucks for me. I like the Padres. I like when they win. I know. And I'm really afraid of them. The Friars haircut. I don't blame you. So they lost last night 6-1 to the D-backs. They are returning home now. They were 4-4 on the road trip. They'll be taking on the Milwaukee Brewers at 7-0-5, game one of two, against the Brewers. So look forward to that. They are back in the cellar, though, unfortunately. Too bad. Yeah. The voice you just heard is Woodsy. I'm Mikey. Our assistant producer and resident comedian is Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as LOB.
Our news girl is Sienna. Our producer is Jay. And our phone screener is Chris. It's Crock. It's Crock. It's Crock. 7.30 this morning. Eskimo Blue Waters says that she was on the TV show The Voice. That's that new one. Who's in that one? It's that. Christina Aguilera. It's got Christina Aguilera. CeeLo Green. And that country guy. That country guy. Blake Shelton, you guys. Adam Levine as well. Adam Levine and then that country guy. Blake Shelton. Let's see. So, oh, and the word of the day is camouflage. So when you hear me say the word camouflage, weave it into a sentence. Caller 9 is going to get a four-pack of tickets to the San Diego County Fair and tickets to see Eddie Vedder. Yes! at Copley Symphony Hall on July the 5th. So, Jay says to me, I don't ever agree with Elizabeth Hasselbeck, but when it comes to this clip about why men make sex tapes, maybe I do. Men love an instant replay. They really do. Look at ESPN. They love to go back, look at a highlight, see what the play was. She may be right.
In terms of why do men like the sex tape, because men, if you look at all sex tapes that have ever been made, predominantly the idea springs forth from the male and not the female. It's very, very rare that you have a girl say, sweetheart, I really think that we should make a sex tape. I know that there's a couple of you squirrely girls in your car right now that go, I ain't dead. But for the most part, it's the guy's idea. Yes. It's also the reason that pornography is more prevalent amongst guys than it is amongst girls. We're more visual than men are or than women are. Agreed, Woodsy? Absolutely. Is that why men make sex tapes? I have no idea why. Now, all I can do is... What about yours? My sex tape is you'll never see it, but no, I've never made one and never would. Why? Because I'm hideous with my clothes off. It's true. Shut up. Hideous. That's the reason that I would never make one with my wife. Now, they say the camera adds 20 pounds. So they have eight cameras. They have 15 cameras on me. Right. I've never done it, never would do it. I'm a little bit afraid. Oh, my God. I'm a little bit afraid. But I'm going to ask. Let's do this.
You know you can never erase this answer once you have it, right? Jay. Yes, sir. You ever made a sex tape? Yes, sir. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, Kim. I'm sorry, Kim. Who says it was Kim? Who says it was Kim? Maybe it was before her. It had to be your wife. Oh, my gosh. I apologize to your kids. He's got a library. He's got adult kids. They're adults. Probably making their own sex tapes. Woods! Woods! Wow. Woods! We didn't. Woods! No! But the deal was it was immediately erased. Was it? Was it? That was the deal? So you brokered a deal with whoever it was. We never even watched it.
Why make it? It was just, it was the thrill of it. Yeah. And then just gone. And this guy said you had to erase it once in a while. No, he was fine with it. It was the other two people that. Oh. I'm like, I wish I didn't know. Come on, girl. Let me get that camera out. Yeah. By the way, it was a Victrola. That's the kind of. It was a talkie. It was a talkie. It was a black and white with no sound. The other guy was Charlie Chaplin. Audrey Hepburn was the star. It was on the train tracks. Betty White and Catherine Hepburn. They're moving all in fast motion. Darling, I don't know if you pressed record. I pressed record. You don't worry about it. I don't know. Get that boost of air off. You don't know what you're doing. Take that boost of air off right now. I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you good. Well, yes, the reason is because men are more visual than women. I just don't want to go back and see that on film. This. Yeah, nobody does. Oh, boy. And for the women.
We want to know. You never really know what you look like from behind or anything like that. Oh, my God. That's the only reason we want to do it. Oh, my God. L-O-B? What? Oh, my God. No, I mean, I haven't, but I would. Oh. No, but I think that's the only reason that they would submit to that, to be like, well, maybe I do look hot or like, you know, I don't know. Well, isn't it because the woman feels like she's in her prime? Probably that. And just curious to know. L.O.B. has the most interesting take on this I've ever heard and never considered. And I'm going to ask Sienna if she agrees. Aren't you curious? I want to know what I walk like. I have a burning in my loins right now. You want to know what you look like from that particular angle. From someone else's point of view altogether. From someone else's point of view altogether. There's a curiosity. Now, again, I am making no judgment call here. I'm only telling you that I have never, me, I have never been curious about very, I'm telling, with me. But I'm not, hey, listen, you're a good looking blonde girl. You're a good looking blonde. Me, I'm an unattractive Mexican. Isolate. But you're like me in that I like to imitate.
And I like to watch people's mannerisms and listen to their voice and be able to like, I can like do somebody else and like. Whoa. Literally. Like imitate them. You know what I mean? So I'm always here. I'm like, what would an imitation of me? Like, what do I walk? Like, what are the weird things I do? Just get mad at a helmet cam. Holy smoke. Just kind of leveled the room with that one, didn't he? It's like a bomb. It's very visual. It's very visual. Doesn't leave much the imagination on that one, doesn't it? Zero. Sienna? Yeah. Do you agree with Lauren's take that the reason that a woman would want to make a sex tape is because she's curious about another person's point of view?
I think she's on to something. I think that that is a reason. I mean, why else do football players review the tapes of their games and stuff like that? They want to see, I would think more of they want to see how they can improve. What about a mirror? No, a mirror. That's so creepy. No, you don't want to focus on that. Lauren just demonstrated. It was terrifying. You don't want to focus on looking at yourself during. You'd want to see the aftermath. And you alone would want to watch it. Like, as a woman. So you're saying. The woman wouldn't want anyone else to watch it. Excuse me. L.O.B. and Sienna. Are you two telling me that it would be the equivalent of game film? I think so. Yeah. I see improvements. I'm like, how can I suck my stomach in? Or how can I? That's a flattering position. Yes. I will do that more often than not. But no one's viewing it. He is. He's not. But I mean, for the next, you know. The only reason you would want, the only reason that would be useful to you is if you had an audience of eight people and they were sitting there. For the most part, though. Like a play. For the most part, women are very critical and men seem to like the angles that we would think are unflattering. Very uncomfortable.
And so for a woman to see what the man is seeing, they may understand. I just understood what you meant. You know what I mean? I just understood. I just had a flash of the different family members of mine that are listening to the show. Oh, yeah. The same thing. And I will. Hey, I'm coming from the married perspective. I'm not. I've never even thought about doing it. Ever. Never thought about doing it. Wow. Never. I will say I've heard from friends, married couples, of course, that instantly regret. They're like, don't. No. I would never do it again. Oh, I know people that are not married that instantly regret it. Oh, yes. But I'm just saying that no one ever is impressed or flattered by themselves. I'm sure there are some people that are impressed, but no one I would want to be friends with. I don't know. I look pretty good. I mean, I guess you haven't seen mine. I'll bring it in. I'll throw it up on one of them old screens. Do we have a projector? Mike, you got a reel-to-reel? I'm bringing in. We'll get some popcorn and some fish and we'll just sit around and watch. Fish and chips. Fish and chips. I'll make it. Fish and chips. Maybe I never hear that again. I did it. I've done it. I've done several hundred. I'd do it again. I'd do it tonight. You should do one. Put it on Facebook. Put it on your blog.
People don't have enough money to be able to afford mine. They often use my body as a stand-in on a lot of adult films. Well, Michelangelo did. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. 570-1949. Mike, have you ever been approached or asked? Today? I mean, just today. You know what I mean. By an ex-girlfriend? Really? Never. Me neither. Of course not, but that's because, you know, I'm not the most. It's funny because he's fat. I wouldn't be the guy. I wouldn't be the guy either. I wouldn't be the guy. Just farmers tanned up real good. Giant boobs flopping around. Me, not her. I would laugh the whole time. Sienna has four places to meet women.
Let's see. Number one. Don't say it. Family and friends event. What's wrong with that? That one's okay. I'll get behind that. It's a great one. Yeah, isn't it? See, that's a good one, right? Yeah, meeting through friends is usually a golden move. Yeah, I see that. Instant M. Coffee shop. Git. Fake bit. Fake bit. It's a fake bit because it's SG&T. Sounds good, not true. Sounds good, not true. Sounds good, not true. It sounds good when you say it. Oh, coffee shop. Yes. People are always just hanging out at Starbucks. Yeah, and why? Why? You're a creep. No. I said it. I said it. Start up a conversation. I said it. Wouldn't you rather have your laptop on your lap lying on the couch? Get your house? Just happy and comfy? I love coffee shops. Men that hang out at coffee shops solo? Creeps. Yeah. Can be. Definitely can be. I'd say 96% creeps. No. So looped. Yes.
You're a creep. Well, not in all. I've gone to the coffee shop to write. You fall into the 96% then. And I know a guy that goes to a coffee shop to write. What were you writing? Where's your house? I didn't want to. I wanted to write someplace where... Right in your yard. That's the best. When I write my stand-up, I go to a coffee shop. You're observing people. John Keats over there? Writing poetry at Starbucks? Yes. I'm John Keith over here. Just writing poetry at Starbucks. Sonnets. Number three. While you're shopping. Don't say it. SGNT. SGNT. What? Sounds good. It's not true. You don't hit on girls at a grocery store. You hit on girls at a grocery store? I didn't hit on guys. I used to when I was single. You hit on guys at the grocery store? Have you ever tried that before? You did, L.O.B.? Yeah. Now that guy. That's the luckiest guy in the world when the girl initiates the shopping flirt. That doesn't usually happen. You really did? Oh, yeah. Seaside Market, I'm telling you. That is a meat market. I mean, literally. Lots of good-looking people, lots of opportunities for, hey, have you tried this yet? Oh, yeah. You know, this was an idea that I was going to bring up at our meeting today.
I'll say it now. We'll discuss it another time. I was going to say, there's got to be a topic in when chicks say stuff to guys and the guy thinks that they're flirting. Yes. Because I think that there's a topic in that. Now, that would be a time where I would think it would be the guy thinks that you're flirting, LLB. But a lot of times, maybe you're not. You're not. But in that one, you are. It depends on the accompanying look. Oh, you got to read the eyes. What's happening with my eyelashes? What's my body language say? See, I know L.O.B. And I honestly think that she really wants to know how that hemp flax tastes. Yes. And if he has tried said hemp flax. But if she's smiling, if she's smiling, she wants research. If she's not smiling, she doesn't want you.
If she's smiling, she wants you desperately. If I really wanted to know, I'd ask somebody that worked there. If I just wanted to strike up a convo, I'd ask, you know. Oh, so that's telling every guy right now that if a girl asks you a question at the supermarket. Hit on her. She wants you. She wants it. Is that true, Sienna? I don't agree with that. You wouldn't do that. Well, I'm not one to go up and flirt. I'm not like that. And I'm bad at it when I was single. But I would go up to an old man and ask that. Clearly, I'm not hitting on him. Go ahead. How old is your husband? Well, he is 13 years old. Hello, dear. And then last is do some good in the world or for your body. Now, the body speaks for itself, you know, getting in shape. But doing good for the world means.
That if you're out and you're doing volunteer stuff. That's a good one. Beach cleanup. Yeah. Volunteer at like an animal shelter. Done. Done. Of course. Fish in a barrel, pal. Isn't it? You go in there, you're washing dogs. There's a single girl in there. You're like, gosh, these poor babies. Done. Sienna, come on, right? Yeah. Of course. Whenever there's like animals involved. I got a good one. Kids. It's not on the list. What? Great one. What? The dog park. I have a friend. You know him. Yeah. Bark Malman. He's like 10 for 10 at the dog park. Does he have a dog? Yeah, he's got a dog. I know a girl right now. And she's a very young, attractive woman. Met her boyfriend at the dog park. Done. Did you hear about the gay guy that dumped something on Newt Gingrich at a book signing? We have audio of it. We'll tell you what he dumped on him next. More than likely. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. When he finishes his morning cup of coffee, he flies home from Columbia. Objects in his side view mirror appear exactly as they are. He believes the pen is mightier than the sword, especially his patented gun pen.
Hardware stores, were his idea, have been known to attract bald eagles. It doesn't matter if they're running a sale or not. He's getting up to 50% off select mattresses. If you were to say, oh no he didn't, chances are, oh yes he did. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friend. We know you want ultimate performance and ultimate fuel efficiency. So now BMW Encinitas is making it easier to drive a new BMW. Now you can lease a new 2011 535i sedan with the ultimate MPG, 30 highway miles per gallon, for just $579 a month plus tax.
And with BMW picking up your first four years or 50,000 miles maintenance, you'll save thousands over the life of your BMW. Going on now at BMW Encinitas. Get the ultimate savings and ultimate fuel efficiency. A 535i with 30 miles per gallon for just $579 a month. BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or visit us online at BMWEncinitas.com. Fox Wednesday. This is it. I think you're just one perfect song away from being American Idol. The top three are set. You've got to start singing to win. Be there as they battle it out one final time to see who will make it to next week's live, tonight's American Idol finale. Lauren. I feel like I'm here for a reason. Scotty. You've got to be great every time. Haley. I am here to win this thing. Their fate is in your hands. One of them. Be the next on Net Idol. It's a special two-hour event. American Idol's Top 3 Live. All new tonight starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then... Free Gas makes you dance. Pump it free with Fox 5 Free Gas.
Yep, free gas. Just watch Fox 5 News at 10 every night. Scan the code or go online for your chance to win a $100 gas card. Fox 5 Free Gas, tonight after Fox on Fox 5 San Diego. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why? Because, as a small business owner, it's more than your job. It's what you love. and you need technology that keeps pace with your passion. That's why Verizon delivers all the wireless solutions you need to make sure your business rules. Verizon technology gives you the power to enable growth and boost productivity because only Verizon offers an arsenal of advanced devices, powerful business apps, and mobile security safeguards, all backed by unrivaled customer support and the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. More small businesses choose Verizon Wireless than any other wireless carrier because they know. a small business with the best technology, rules. Now get the lightning-fast Thunderbolt by HTC for only $249.99. No rebate required. Exclusively at Verizon. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash smallbusiness, or call 1-800-VZW-4Biz. Requires new tier activation and data pack, early termination and other fees apply. Preference results based on third-party study. Make your weekends even hotter at Z-World with Viva La Musica this Saturday and Sunday.
This fiery festival celebrating Hispanic heritage is coming to a close, and you don't want to miss it. Experience Latin culture all around with savory, authentic cuisine, local entertainment, and performances from today's hottest international Latin artist live at Search Stadium. This Saturday and Sunday catch the final weekend of Viva La Musica featuring Prince Royce on May 21st and El Gran Combo on May 22nd. Enjoy this weekend of Viva La Musica along with all your favorite SeaWorld rides, shows, and animal encounters with a fun card. Pay for a day. Play all year. It's the last weekend of Viva La Musica at SeaWorld. For showtimes or to buy your fun card, visit SeaWorld.com slash Viva. Concert seating is limited. Entertainment subject to change without notice. Event included with park admission. Restrictions apply. Welcome to the REI anniversary sale. Hi, we're going camping and need a roomy... Marmot limestone four-person tent. Yes, and for the mosquitoes, I need a... Exofficio Bugs Away Halo shirt. Ooh, that'll look good with my... Chaco ZX2 sandals. Whoa, you're like my outdoor stylist.
We know what you need because we know what you love. Shop REI's anniversary sale and save up to 30% May 20th through 30th. Plus, members get 20% off one full price item. Exclusions apply. REI. Find out. Visit REI in Chula Vista at Otay Ranch Town Center, Encinitas and San Diego, or shop REI.com. At Miller Lite, we believe if you're not choosing a light beer with more taste, you need to man up, not man down. Because up is way better than down. You don't tell someone sad to cheer down. What's down, dog? A steamy pile and you just stepped in it. Your girlfriend's not wearing a push-down bra. It's called gravity, Isaac Nitwit. Can I be down front with you? All this down talk is bringing me down. So don't man down, man up, and choose a light beer with more taste. Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Great beer, great responsibility. Miller Lite is proud to once again be presenting FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion at the Oceanside Pier on June 5th. Great beer, great responsibility. Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste greatness.
This report, it's brought to you by Shell. All three grades of Shell gas contain their nitrogen-enriched cleaning system to protect critical engine parts against performance-robbing gunk. Try Shell nitrogen-enriched gas today. Well, we got a lot of stuff happening here. Carlsbad on the 5 northbound after Cannon Road. A right lane is closed here until further notice. It is a signal or two. It's a car that went over the side. They still haven't picked that thing up yet. An injury accident there as well. 15 northbound Mercy Road. We got an accident blocking the third lane from the left on the 15. southbound after Friars wrote an accident. That's got the right lane blocked. And it looks like also a problem here on the, let's see, my computer died. On the 15 southbound after Gopher Canyon wrote an injury accident, another car right over the side. This report brought to you by Carfax. Looking for a good deal on a great used car? Start your search looking for Carfax Advantage dealer. Every car comes with a free Carfax vehicle history report. Just say, show me the Carfax. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning. Brought to you by the world premiere of Manufacturing Stokes. Sold out on Saturday night, but tickets available for Sunday. Check it out. Surf-wise, today we are looking at a combination of increasing southwesterly swell with some west-northwesterly wind and groundswell. All getting pretty well pummeled as the storm front moves on through.
Southerly winds pretty much disrupting all areas for the most part. A couple corners can be found here and there, those little protected areas. Size-wise, looking at waist chest, shoulder height surf, maybe some pluses on that. But that water quality is so much suspect as well as the last two days of rain, although not real heavy, has been steady enough to wash some nasty stuff out the gutters. So beware before you paddle out if you choose to do so. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. If you're stoke on Saturday or Sunday, check out Manufacturing Stoke at Bird Surfshed. The surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. And I wear like a 44 small. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. Woods. I mean, hey, listen, I did snuff on the plane, okay? I put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jay. You'd have to be dying not to come down and help you. Yeah. I would have to have had my arm chopped off. On FM 94.9. Yo, remember back on the bully when cats used to harmonize like? Yo. Yo. Yo.
EBW will be here in just a minute. Know what I saw yesterday? What? If I were you, I would search for this on your DVR. Listen, if there was something called the Camouflage Channel, I would watch it. Might as well, because I love the military channel. But this was actually on Nat Geo. It's called Killing Bin Laden. Dude, it's so good. It's a one-hour special where they use 3D animation to show you what they did inside the compound. Sweet. And they explain from start to finish.
How it began, like, in other words, how the plan was hatched, why they thought that he was there, what they did to try to identify him there, because he never walked by any of the, you know, he never came outside, never walked by any of the windows. And they were using this technology where they were, it was like a laser beam that they shined onto the window of the compound. And this laser beam. attached to headphones, picked up the vibrations, and transmitted the vibrations into sound so that they could listen from a long distance away what was being said inside the place. Wow. How badass is that? That's badass. Insane. With a laser. Like from, you know, they're sitting on a hilltop. They shine the laser beam onto the window, put these headphones on, translates the vibrations from inside the house so they could hear what was going on. It's incredible. Incredible. Did you buy cheese yesterday? I don't know. I used it instead of the cheese. When you make the list, please, next time put cheese on the list because I can't eat, you know, regular cheese. I need a low fat. Well, you and I thought...
Are you asking for soy cheese? No, the low-fat. I can't eat the regular. It makes me, you know, bunch up a little bit. Okay, well, happy birthday because I like the regular, but I guess I get you what... Fine, we have plenty of money. You pull down decent buck, I pull down decent buck. We put our money together with both cheeses. Did we or did we not agree we're not going to fight about money? Agreed, agreed. Let's agree to disagree. Oh, how about we agree that I have to eat... The crappy cheese because somebody has a poop problem. Yes, I get very bunched up in the morning. Here's a crazy idea. Maybe you don't eat cheese. I do. Fair enough. Then I get the regular cheese. This is what they're listening to. I don't know. Should we even go in? Is he even really a threat anymore? Or are we taking cheese? This is M1 Malone from Vista. What was the word of the day? I was camouflaged, my man. That is correct, my friend. That is correct. You just won tickets to see Eddie Vedder. Yeah. Yeah, I can't wait, man. Yeah, dude. And you also got a four-pack of tickets to the fair, San Diego County Fair, opening on June 10th, going through July 4th, as you know. And congratulations. You just listened for the word of the day, and you heard it, and you called, and you won.
So jealous. Hey, Mikey. Yeah. I came out to OSI and, you know, it was an awesome time, man. Thank you. I'm glad you had fun. And by the way, if you still want to get that sticker, you can. The Mikey Show sticker is available right here at our FM 94.9 studios in Mission Valley. And it's also available at the San Diego Harley Davidson on Kearney Mesa Road. Is it Kearney Mesa Road? It's off of, I think so, yeah. It's off the 163. Hey, Mike. Yes, Jay. What's his name? It's M1 Malone. M1 Malone. You ain't going to hurt my feelings if you want to take me with you to see you any better. You want to rock out some veterans? Yeah, hell yeah. Hang on the line, Malone. All right. You ain't going to hurt my feelings. You ain't going to hurt my feelings if you give me your winnings. You can be honest. Be honest, y'all. You want to give it to me. Take them or else I would. That's right. You give them to me, that's okay. That's a different story. So this is audio of a protester that walked up to Newt Gingrich as Newt Gingrich was signing books in Minneapolis and proceeded to throw glitter on him. Stop the hate. Stop anti-gay politics.
It's dividing our country and it's not fixing our economy. Do it like a man. Nice to live in Africa. So then, now he's just sitting there at the table, right? And they pour this, this guy walks up in line. He's dressed all nice. Looks like a nice, you know, cute little Republican. And he's got a satchel. And he pulls out a box of what looks like, it looked like cereal. But it was full of glitter. And he pours it all over the table. And it goes on Newt and Newt's wife. Now, listen to this. This is a security guy kicking the protester out. Now, just so you have the visual, protester and a girl that he was with who was filming it. Obviously not his girlfriend. Well, okay. A girlfriend, but not his girlfriend. Just a girl that's a friend. It's a girl that's a friend. It's a gal pal is what she is. A gal pal. Okay? Couple gals out on the town. Exactly. Now, they're in the elevator, and as the elevator door is closing, this is what the security guard is saying to them. So goes you, goes the rotting of our country. Have you ever seen us attend one of your events? Have we disturbed your events? Never.
Peace be with you. Hello. Wow, that's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. Have we ever disturbed one of your events? Peace be with you. Peace be with you. Security guards ever throw their weight around? He should have gone, dun, dun, dun. Well, he did have his pinky up to his mouth. Yes, yes. With one eye closed. He did. Same thing could have happened to me if I was having a book signing. Same thing did happen to you, didn't it? A few years back. I remember that. Hey, how you doing? Michael. Hi, it's Mikey. Mikey, what's your name? My name is Bryce. How you doing, Bryce? Good to see you. I'm good, Mike. Oh, thanks. I love your show. Oh, thank you. It's fabulous. Well, thank you, man. It's great. I really love how...
I love how you hate gays. I don't hate gays. You hate gays, Mike. I don't hate gays. Oh, gosh. That's glitter. Sir, we're going to need you. Excuse me. Do not touch me. Do not touch me. Mikey, Mikey, go away. Stop the hate another day. Okay, thanks. I don't hate anybody. Mikey. I don't hate anybody. Don't you. Can you get him out of here? Don't you. I don't hate anybody. I don't hate anyone. I'll do your dirty work. Imagine that. Move back, sir. You're filthy. Move back. You disgust me. Move back. Thanks. You disgust me. I don't hate games. Oh, wow. You okay, Mr. Esparza? I'm fine. You have glitter all over your face. That's par for the course, though. It's in my eye? In your eyelashes. It's in my eyelashes. In your beard. In my goatee here. Yeah. I don't have... Hang on a minute. Is it on my tongue? Yes. A little bit. It's like it's stuck in that makeup you have on your face, too. Yeah, it's stuck in my eye shadow. Well, anyway, that's what happened to poor Newt. Eskimo Blue Waters is here. Hello, Eskimo. What's the matter? You guys done with the theatrics in here? Yes, we're done with the theatrics.
It's great. I've got more important things going on. Eskimo Blue Waters is 32-year-old Judy Douche. You're wrong on both accounts. What am I wrong? I'm in my 20s. First of all, my original name is Judy Douche, but I dropped that a long time ago. Yeah, but it's spelled D-O-U-C-H-E. Accent over the E. Got it. Well, you can see. She's got the... Dreamcatcher earrings. Bret Michaels, female version. Yeah, it looks like the female version of Bret. I have a fringe leather jacket on. One of those really hard cowboy hats. They're really hard. Yeah, when I can't. That's what she said. Okay, well, it didn't really work. Our cowboy hat doesn't work. She's nervous. Sorry. Funny is not my thing. So what's the deal? Oh, yeah. What's the deal, Eskimo? Well. Mike, you in particular, are always making fun of my singing. Uh-huh. It's Mikey. Go ahead. Okay. But they all call you Mikey. I know, but they're on the show. They're on the program. On the program. Yeah. But somebody, in fact, four big somebodies, think I'm quite good. The Voice, right? You were on The Voice. You familiar with the show? I know you love Christina Aguilera. I do. So this new show on NBC, Christina Aguilera's on it.
That Country Guy is on it. Mike Shelton. CeeLo Green. And Adam Levine from Maroon 5. It's a tiny little show with tiny little stars. No big deal. Now, you said that you went down, made it on the show because of your singing, and that you're going to be on an upcoming episode. I will. I'm not even supposed to have this audio, but I brought one of those little recorders with me. And so you have proof that you are on The Voice. Yeah. Wow. claim that that's what this is here that I'm about to play. Yeah, it went pretty well, to say the least. Let's take a listen. Hello, my name is Eskimo Blue Waters, and I'm going to do a song called Banging on Hell's Gate. And I'm going to do it a cappella because I forgot my guitar. Maybe it is real. And a one, and a two, and a three, and a four, and a five. I'm going to take those shades from me. I can use them any day. It's getting bright, so bright for me. I feel I'm banging on Hell's Gate. Bang, bang, banging on Hell's Gate. Bang, bang, banging on Hell's Gate. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. I got the attention of four of the biggest artists in the country. Amazing. Thank you.
Thank you so much. Thank you guys. Wow. I did not expect that. Wow. I've never heard that song, but I'm pretty sure no one will sing it as well as you just did. Yeah. Thank you. I'm not even sure if that's a country song. That's a country song. It is a country song. Okay, yeah. Take it easy. I know. I know. He's already, yeah, he's already going nuts. He is, yeah. I know. I think I could kind of offer you a slightly different angle. Okay. A slightly different approach to what you already do. But you really don't need much help, man. You're incredible. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Man. Oh, yeah, you don't have to call me man. I'll be honest with you. I don't know that country is even your thing necessarily. You can probably do any kind of music you want to do. You're that kind of a singer. Thank you so much. You've got a lot of options. I'm not sure I made it clear. I really want to work with you very, very bad. Oh, thank you. I would be honored. Well, obviously you've got all of us to turn our chairs, so I think that goes without saying for all of us. Your voice triggered my instincts like that. You were mastering the distinctive notes within each particular ad-lib and run and riff, and I would feel honored to have you on my team. Wow, I don't...
You guys are incredible. It's empowering in numerous ways to have my back turn to you. It lets me know that my heart is working. And nothing else seemed to matter at the moment than to turn around. And I'm glad that that beautiful voice came out of you. Oh, me too. I'm really glad, too. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Really, it's incredible. That's the stupidest singer ever heard. So choose whoever you want me. What? I missed it. Oh, now I get to pick. You're so stupid. Well, Christina, you're beautiful. Oh. Really, dude? Really? Well. That's the stupid thing. You're supposed to cut the ending off. Eskimo. I watched that episode and you weren't even on it. What? I was. The worst editor. Going to GarageBand? No. It's the worst thing I've ever heard. What do you mean? That's me. That's you. When is that going to be on then?
Oh, I can't talk about it. Oh, really? Yeah. You can't talk about it? Yeah, kind of like Jason Priestley would. Yeah. Can't talk about that, you know. So you're saying to me. Yes. That that is going to be on an upcoming episode of The Voice. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, we'll look forward to that. I'll tell you what, Eskimo. If it is, then props to you. But strangely, that seemed edited. It did. Poorly. But yes. Edited. It was seamless, really. Seamless. It was in my pocket, the recorder, the whole time. Yeah. I don't know where that Charlie Sheen drop came from. Me either. Possibly from the array that's on the computer in the office where you were editing. She's nervous. She might have bumped up against the array and hit a drop on accident. EBW, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks, EBW. Thanks for the support. You got it. Speaking of Christina Aguilera, she was on the Today Show yesterday. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks she's a really attractive lady. You are. Right now, you are. I guess right now, right? She's pretty. Sienna says she's pretty. Ella B? Oh, wow. Ella B's got a face that says maybe she didn't necessarily agree. Oh, wow. She's making a cheek face. It's a cheek face. Oh. You're imitating Adele. You are...
What are you? Well, wait a minute. Yesterday, excuse me. No, I didn't. I didn't. No, you made a face. Her face looks puffy like she's been like drinking a lot or something. I've had that puffy face. That's my college face. Because I know Jay, I know Woods got in trouble yesterday for saying that the singer Adele. You just asked about her attractiveness. I did. I did ask about her attractiveness. And I've seen Christina Aguilera look better. She's doing something unhealthy about herself. Well, actually, L.O.B.'s on to something. Because that's exactly what Matt Lauer asked her about. Oh, wow. I mentioned I was reading about you last night to prepare for this. And it has been. There have been some tough times in this year. The National Anthem thing, the fall at the Grammys, the divorce. Almost fall. The public intoxication. There was a time where people, your friends, the people who love you the most tried to intervene. In your life. Is that true or is that an exaggeration? What, Woods? I think there were some definite ex- What? Intervene. She messed up the national anthem. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Public intoxication. What do you mean? Big deal. You're out walking down the street, had a few drinks. There's a couple incidents. Oh, boy. She also was at that dude, what's that guy's name that was in The Hurt Locker? Jeremy Renner. Jeremy Renner.
She also went over to his house uninvited to a party that he had. That's true. Got wasted and fell asleep in his bed. Who hasn't done that? That's a true... Okay, you kind of got me there. Disgruntled employees along the way that, you know, whenever things... So she's saying, when you say people were trying to intervene and help me, disgruntled employees. Happen like this to you. Some people just want to kick you when you're down. And, you know, for me, you know, I've been in this business a very long time. I've been doing I've been singing since I was six years old. You know, you know, you're going to have your high moments and your low moments. But it's after that specific time. You know, right now, I feel that I've found my true friends and the people who really are there for me and have stuck by me and just. supported me. When you're going through a hard time, you don't need people judging and ridiculing you. The people that are around you are going to be the ones to support you and love you through whatever difficult time you're going through. You did have those people, too. You had the friends because there were people who were not attacking you who were genuinely concerned about you. Well, only I know that.
on a deeper level of whose intentions were what and after you've been in this business for quite some time you're able to weed out okay is this person just on a power trip like feeding frenzy of you know you know this is what's great for you and some people like the drama of creating it you know around you to make themselves look better like oh i saved her whenever really you just have to be a friend and support what do you make of that woods i make that her bit is Basically, I just got rid of everybody that held me accountable. And those that held me accountable, they're not my true friends. Because my true friends would never judge me. They would let me do whatever I want and get away with it. 100%. And be there for me. 100%. And that's, you know, that's a, boy, you're in denial with that attitude. You know what I mean? Because he's right. They were trying to help you. That's all they were doing. They were just trying to help you. What you're going to hear when we come back. may disturb you a little bit. You see, it's a guy proposing to his girlfriend in a mall. And her saying no. Oh, Mikey. On FM 94.9.
It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Are sold out. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Triple Hops. Rude Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubbies and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like Friday night, Aloe Black will be at the belly up. And Saturday night, System of a Down are playing Cricket Wireless.
transfers at the Casbah on the 27th. June 1st, it's Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra at Soma. And June 5th, the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, which is now sold out. Meat Puppets play the Casbah June 14th. Matt and Kim in the Thermals are at House of Blues June 16th. And you can see A Perfect Circle at the Open Air Theater July 26th. July 30th is that big show, L.A. Rising, at the L.A. Coliseum with Rage Against the Machine, Muse, and Rise Against, just to name a few. Big Sonic Chill presents Sia at House of Blues, August 11th. Death Cab for Cutie hit the remake, August 16th, 3-11, and Sublime with Rome play Cricket Wireless, August 19th. And you can see Kings of Leon there on September 4th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. Dude, what happened last night? I can't find my Super Big Gulp cup. What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup. All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven, but what happened after that?
Hey, I think we got kidnapped by a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah, and they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Ami amigos. No way, he's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right, and he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait, didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah, I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub. Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today, only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie, The Hangover Part 2, in theaters May 26th. Hey, Mike, where's that our old pal Woodsy? Woods went to the bathroom. Well, he's got a dang spot he's supposed to be doing right now. Jay, you can fill in for him. You can do it. I'm not kidding. He shirks his responsibilities all the time, and I'm sick of it. You got his back. All right, fine. Well, I know that Woods, our old pal Woodsy, went to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. Hey, wait a minute. It's not Medi-Cal. That's a completely different thing. Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. That's a long name. Well, if you'd like to get LASIK like our old pal Woodsy, go to Clearview Eye and Laser Medical Center. He met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff.
Can you do that, Jay, in a way that sounds a little bit more natural? He met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff. Emphasis on the wrong words. He met with Dr. Sandy T. Feldman and her staff, and he got LASIK surgery. You know who else she did, Mike? Well, you know who else's eyes she did? Who? Tony Hawk. You know who taught him how to skate? Today is the day to come to Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. For as low as $349 a month, you can be driving a brand new Mercedes-Benz. My grandfather always said they only cost a little bit more to get the best. Well, you know what? Now you can have the best for $349 a month. That's less than many other makes or models that are not in the class of a Mercedes-Benz. There are fine automobiles out there. They are not Mercedes-Benz. For $349 a month, you can be driving the best today at Mercedes-Benz of Esconido. People locally and all over Southern California come to Mercedes-Benz of Esconido. Not only for the price, but for the quality of treatment that they receive. The relationships are what it's all about. Based on a 33-month lease, customer down payment $27.50 plus dealer document fee, taxes and license. What happened last night? I can't find my Super Big Gulp cup. What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup. All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven, but what happened after that?
I think we got kidnapped by a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah, and they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Hola, mi amigos. No way, he's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right, and he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait, didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah, I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub. Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today, only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie, The Hangover Part 2, in theaters May 26th. Hey guys, this is L.O.B. from The Mikey Show, and every week you hear me go on and on about how great Ovation Cell Therapy has been for my hair. Well, here's something that Ovation is doing, and I think that they're amazing for doing this. Ovation is helping support the City of Hopes. Walk for Hope. This is happening Saturday, May 21st, and Ovation is proud to be a San Diego partner with City of Hope's Walk for Hope, which is being presented nationally by Staples. Come on out and join the thousands, that's right, thousands nationwide who are committed to ending women's cancers. This is a cause that is really near and dear to my heart, and I'm so happy to see Ovation a part of it. Learn how Ovation Cell Therapy can work for you. Log on to OvationHair.com or go out and visit the Ovation booth. They're going to be out there.
The Walk for Hope. They can answer any questions you have and really just help to inspire you. Go to OvationHair.com and remember to enter FM949 for your special introductory rate because Ovation can work for you. Again, that's OvationHair.com and enter FM949 for that special rate. We're back, and the folks at McDonald's drop by the studio. With the new jalapeno cheddar McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and the new cheddar onion McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and from the looks of these beauties, $1.49 is a real deal. I see your jalapeno cheddar McChicken has melted white cheddar, and is that hot jalapeno salsa? Oh, wow, spicy. I did not see that coming, McDonald's. Oh, and the grilled onions on this cheddar onion McChicken are incredible. Big, cheesy taste. Hey, switch with me. I like a take-charge man. I like a lady who's... Cut to commercial.
You'll also receive great resort extras like two well drinks, two premium rides, two midway games, and so much more. Visit CircusCircus.com for more information. Petco Park is the place to be every Friday night with Friday Party at the Park. Watch your Padres take on the Seattle Mariners Friday, May 20th at 7.05. Be sure to stay after the game for Friday Night Fireworks presented by Northgate Gonzalez Market. Ripped to third. What a stop by Headley! Don't miss Friday Night Fireworks. Padres vs. Mariners, Friday, May 20th. Get your tickets today and save $5 per ticket when you buy online at Padres.com.
If you're looking for pure summer enjoyment, head to Albertsons. Their fresh produce is picked at the peak of flavor, then rush to the store for superior taste. Just add grilling favorites and bakery fresh buns, and you have everything you need to put together your get-togethers. Fresh summertime fun. You'll find it at Albertsons. This report, it's brought to you by Home Depot. The Home Depot's made a special by Select One Court Perennials. They're now four for ten bucks. They're regionally grown. They'll give you a really colorful bang for your buck. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Well, we've got a couple sig alerts working. One on the 15 southbound ramp to northbound 5. That connecting roadways closed. They're doing guardrail repair from an earlier crash. The 94 in both directions after via Mercado. That is closed to through traffic. You're backed up to Grove Street. It was a head-on collision. And in La Mesa on the 125 southbound at the Aiden Injury Accident car over the side. This report brought to you by 99 Cents Only Stores. Create your emergency kit on a budget at 99 Cents Only Stores. Pick up bottled water, aspirin, and bandages, all for just 99.99 cents each. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I get along better.
with women than I do with men. Lauren. I'm very clumsy. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. Sienna. I'm an expert golfer. I bet. And Jay. If it's broken, there's a 99% chance that I can fix it. On FM 94.9. They snag on a mom. Put this song on a girl's tape one time in eighth grade. Mm-hmm. And? That's it. She loved it. It's a great mixtape. By the way, the number one track. That's what you started with. That's what I let off with. It's very scientific. Where do you go from there? I think I went into Warrant Heaven after that. Something to Believe in, Poison Next. Mixtapes are a big player in your life. You still make them. I make them every day. I mean, but for your wife and stuff. Oh, yeah. I still make them for my wife, but I make them for our show every day. And it takes me a good solid 15 to 20 minutes every single day. Kid is a big, big mixtape guy. I make a pretty mean mixtape. I will say that.
Very passionate about other people's abilities in music. There you go. I can't write. I can't play really that well. So I can't, you know. Sienna. Somebody else. Yeah. Okay. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Okay, I have to switch gears a little bit because this is really serious. And if you're the type of person that can donate money, this is an extremely important cause. If you haven't heard about baby Isaiah, oh, I want to cry telling this story. He was in a stroller being pushed by his grandfather back in October 18th of 2010 in Oceanside when an SUV plowed into them on the sidewalk. It was a 17-year-old driver that was drunk, and the accident left Isaiah, who was only a year old. No. Paralyzed and blind. Now he's two years old and finally got to go home yesterday. But, God. Oh, what a soft heart. Look at Sienna. You're getting me, dude. You're getting me. Oh, it's so sad. You want me to do it? You want me to do it? It's so sad, yeah. There's a website. It's not the bottom of it on the other page. It's so sad. Look how sweet he is. He went home yesterday and he's making progress, but he is still paralyzed from the chest down. Got brain damage. Had a feeding tube.
because he doesn't have the ability to swallow, and he has a catheter. Now, the problem is that he requires 24-hour care. His parents have been certified by the hospital after some real intense training. The problem is that they are living in a temporary home until the remaining $38,000 can be raised. to purchase a property-equipped home. If anybody can help, call us, 570-1949, or write us. You can write us here at the radio station, Mikey at MikeyShow.com. But it is a very sad story. What's the website on there, man? The website. It's the last thing on the article. It's the last line that I highlighted.
www.passion4kids.com. So instead of calling, instead of writing, go there. Do that. Passion4kids. Passion, the number four. Passion4kids, but the four is the number four. Passion4kids.com. Very sad. Maybe somebody can make a really, really big difference in their life. Yes. Oh, Sienna's got the softest heart in the world. Oh, I mean, it's like once you have a baby, I can't read that. It's true. Oh, that picture. It's so true. I'm going to put the link on our Facebook page. Attaboy. What's going on in sports? Sorry, guys. It's okay. You've got to follow that. I'm also upset because the Ryder Cup in 2018, Sienna, is going to be in France. I'm very upset about it. The 2018 Ryder Cup will be at Le Golf National on the outskirts of Versailles near Paris. Easy, big time. The Ryder Cup is one of the coolest things in golf, and it's the U.S. taking on Europe, and they go back and forth every four years.
Time it's here, then it's there. So it will be in France. That's a must-miss. There you go. For me. And the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA draft lottery last night. They have the number one pick in the draft, which is good for them. They lose LeBron James. They actually have the one and the four in the upcoming draft on June 23rd. So they'll get a couple good players to replace King James. So I got a guy write me the other day because he knows that I am a Bible nerd. And he's like, dude, so what's up with this May 22nd deal? May 21st. Is it the 21st or the 22nd? I know it to be the 22nd. You know it to be the 21st, LLB? The billboards everywhere say May 21st. I've heard the 21st and the 22nd. Oh, Google. Google. Google. Now, the deal is, is that they say, and they are an actual organization. Do you want me to say that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can say it. It's Family Radio. is the one who has the billboards everywhere. Let me... 21st, Mike. Yeah. 21st. This is also the first day of summer. www.familyradio? Mm-hmm. I read all the PDFs. I listen to them. Now, they say on Family Radio, blow the trumpet, warn the people, Judgment Day, May 21st, 2011.
The Bible guarantees it. Then they have a countdown that is clicking and it says that there's three days left. So this guy said, this guy that I talked to, he emails me. He goes, dude, he goes, I don't know anything about this. He's like, but what can you tell me? Because he's like, I had a friend call me and say goodbye. He goes, and this is like a dude that I like respect. He said, and this guy called me and he said goodbye. He's like, you know, what do you make of that? And I said, well, is he Christian? And he said, yeah. And I said, well, then he's really, he said that the guy told him that if he was back on Monday, that it was something like God had mercy on him. And I'm like, well, then he's got it backwards. Because what they, what these. folks say and think is that on the 21st, that on the 21st, the rapture, the so-called rapture will happen where all Christians would disappear. In this really beautiful way. Yes. That you've never even seen or been able to conceptualize. Right. And that the people that would be left would be the non-believers. Oh boy. Now,
Now, there's some biblical precedent, but what there is also biblical precedent for is that we don't ever know when it's going to happen. Apparently, there's one dude that's been able to decode the Bible. There's this one dude that says that he's been able to do some math on it and that he's been able to put this together. Now, you realize there have been... these folks that have said and done this forever he did it back in the 80s as well same dude my bad same guy that same guy now i'll tell you this rebecca says she knows this girl that was like is real iffy about christianity and the reason is because when she was a kid that came that stuff was around scared the pants off i mean just scared her yeah for sure and i'm like I drive by the freeway and see the billboard up, and I'm like, don't they think that's going to freak people out? I mean, not to mention the fact that it isn't true. Like, it's not biblical. And if anybody wants to, you know, talk about it, 5701949, I mean, this isn't like, I'm not being Johnny Christian here. This is like a thing. Like, you see these billboards all over town, you know? Aren't you, in fact, being Johnny Christian? Like, wouldn't...
Wouldn't Johnny Christian? Wouldn't Connor Christian have been better or something? Something better. Johnny Christian? Chrissy Christian. Joe Christian. Yeah, Joe Christian. Joe Christian. It's Joe the plumber, Joe the Christian. That would work. M1 Mikey's FedEx guy from San Diego, who actually is my FedEx guy, is on the line. Go ahead. Busy guy. Hey, Mikey, it's me. You're a FedEx guy. I love you, brother. What's going on? Love you, too. Hey, this guy, Harold Camping from Oakland, the guy who's making the prediction. That's it, camping. Yeah, he's made three different predictions, 1994 and 2008, and then now 2011. Yeah, Woods is doing like just throwing a dart at a dartboard. I mean, is that what the guy does? He's just throwing a dart at a dartboard? What's the guy do the next day? Yeah, what do you do the next day? Oops, my bad. We'll try again. Pick another day. Yeah, seriously. I don't know. It's crazy. And it's sad that he says that the Bible guarantees that he's using the Bible and deceiving all these people. It's very, very sad. Right. Matthew. He's using some readings from Matthew. Yeah, he's got it all wrong. Yeah, he's got it wrong. Can I ask the logical question? Sure. Thank you, FedEx. All right. I'll address the elephant in the room. What? Is there anybody in this room that's a little like about Saturday? I'm a little bit.
Not because of that guy. How could you not be a little weird now? I'm a Christian. I'm a Christian. But I'm telling you, if I wake up Sunday and I'm still here, you better answer your freaking phone. I think that'd be a funny prank. Here's the deal, bro. I mean, if it was real, I would be stoked to be gone. Yeah, I know. I know. Right? Yeah, for sure. Because that's why you believe what you believe. Yeah, I'd be stoked to be gone. According to this guy camping, all Christians go to heaven on Saturday. It's not a punishment day. Oh, no, it's not a punishment day. What happens to everybody else, according to camping, is there's also going to be an earthquake. There's going to be trials and tribulations, right? It's going to accompany this. And the end of the world is actually going to be on October 21st. So between May 21st and October 21st, even the sinners that are in their graves are going to be shook from their graves. Well, okay, now hang on a minute. Now hang on. Now, the Bible says, can I tell you this or is this too Bible-y? It's Johnny Christian. Is this too Bible-y? Tell us, no. Can I just tell you what the Bible says? Sure. The Bible says that when Jesus does come back, that bodies will be, that the sea will give up their dead. Yes. That the bodies that are dead now and buried will come back. That's what he said. The earthquake's going to shake them loose and they will literally be like hell on earth. Well, there is no.
Okay, the Bible says nothing about earthquakes shaking them loose. Apparently he thinks there's going to be, according to that website, there's going to be a giant. Here's what I would like to ask this guy camping. I'd like to ask him how he reconciles this. This is what Jesus himself said. He says, heaven and earth shall disappear, but my words stand sure forever. However, no one. Not even the angels in heaven nor I myself knows the day or hour when these things will happen. Only the father knows. And since you don't know when it will happen, stay alert. Be on the watch for my return. Like even Jesus said, I don't even know. The only one that knows is the father. He's the only one that knows. I don't know. According to this guy. Yeah. He talked to Jesus. Jesus sent him a telegram. He says that Jesus will give fair warning. And the warnings have been like the things like the woman getting beheaded the other day. All the natural disasters that were happening. All this stuff where like there just starts to be havoc that is, you know, on the loose. Those are the signs. Where did you get this, Jay? That was actually I was going to present that in the meeting today as a topic.
Are those the frequently asked questions? No, no. It's all how he based his, the camping guy, how he based his theory on how he came up with this date that this is the end. He came up with a date because Noah's flood was in 4990 B.C. And he says he figured out the date for the great flood based on other dates and ages given in the Bible. And that flood was the first apocalypse. Like the flood that's going on now, I guess, in the South. He says add 7,000 years. Obviously. So wait. Carry the one. Carry the one. And then what are we supposed to do? Fraction that by four. No, you have to multiply it times pi, which is 3.14. I've heard it was the square root, though. No, it's times pi. Don't get to round up. And you round up. Isn't there a mole 6.02 times? Pi is 3.14. M1 Chris from downtown. Hello? Chris, are you there? Do you believe camping? Do I believe camping?
I believe camping on the ocean. Oh, okay. But you don't believe this guy that says that Saturday is the end of the world. You don't believe that? No. blasphemous insanity on the air. Do you have no fear of the Lord? What is your name? My name is Chris. Chris, do you think that Saturday is the end of the world? I think that Saturday is the beginning of my new life. I think that Saturday will be the end of the world for all you atheists, homosexuals, and blasphemers. Got it. Okay, so you're a Christian. I am a Christian. Okay. That is why my name is Chris. Your name is Chris because you're a Christian?
Yes. I'm a Christian. My name's Mike. I'm a Christian. My name's Steve. Maybe his name is Christian, Chris for short. Is it Christian and your name is Chris for short? That is correct. Okay. That doesn't make you a Christian. Doesn't make you a Christian just because your name is Christian. What if my name was tall? I wish it was. So if my name was Jesus, I'd be Jesus, according to your logic. No, no, that's not correct, because my name is Chris because I'm a Christian. I'm not a Christian because my name is Chris. You have the converse. You have it reversed. Oh, yeah. I'm the one that's wrong here. Of course. And Judgment Day will tell you the same. Hey, listen, dude. I believe in Judgment Day. I just don't think it's Saturday. Why do you think it's Saturday? Because I think it's Saturday because you have Limp Bizkit on the air. You have Nikki starting to grind on my face. And my face is starting to become covered with slimy fluid. And I can feel the slimy fluid dripping down into my ear canal. He's doing a bit. He's doing a bit. No. Wow. Wow. He even got himself. I like you guys pretty good. He got himself. Oh, my God. He had me for a while. I mean, I was like, are you a black guy? Yeah. He's the guy that says different like him. If you are a black female.
And a homosexual. And a heretic. And a heretic. That got me real, real good. Lip biscuit. Lip biscuit. And Nick is six grinding. On my face. On my face. I'll tell you guys. I'll tell you guys. My real name's Ian. So in case anybody's listening, they can give me credit later. All right, Ian. Nice, Ian. You got me. Thank you, man. Wow. Heretic. Heretics. I was scared. That got me a little bit. Yeah, me too. I was like, everyone, shut up. Yeah, LLB's like, I want to know. I'm going to do research on this guy later. I'm afraid of people like he was personifying that will, if there is no natural act of God that happens on the 21st, they're going to make some fanatical move. Yeah, well, see, this is the goofiness of it. The goofiness of it is that if you're still here, then that means that you're not going to heaven. Right. All right. So.
That means I'm going to be calling all of my super duper Christian friends on Sunday. I'm going to be like, are you here? Hello, are you here? Mike, answer your phone. Hey, it's Woods. Are you there? Call me back. Call me back. Please call me back. Please call me back. I'm going to be like, Rebecca, don't call Woods back. Don't call. Let's freak him out. Let's make him think. And I don't come to work on Monday. Oh, my God. The following number has been disconnected. He took his phone with him. It can't end on Saturday. I have a freaking doubleheader Sunday. We are judging. Mira Mesa's Got Talent on the 21st. Technically, it is Judgment Day. I want to talk to someone that believes it. I do, too. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to talk to this guy. I really want to talk to M1 State Farm agent from Chula Vista. Are you there? I'm here, Mikey. How you doing this morning? Good. Good. Hey, I'm a recovering Catholic. And these are the kind of knuckleheads that make me question whether I want to become Christian or not. Oh, now, I'm glad you said that. I'm really glad you said that. And let me tell you why. Do you have a favorite actor? Do I have a favorite actor? Yeah, is there an actor that you really like? Not anyone that I really like. There's a couple of them that I enjoy watching. Okay, give me an example of one that you really like. I'll tell you one. There were two movies on last night, Brad Pitt. Okay, Brad Pitt. All right, let's take Brad Pitt, okay?
Now, let's say that you see Brad Pitt in a movie and whatever the movie is, it makes you think that you really think that Brad Pitt's a cool guy, right? Yes. And you even think to yourself, I bet, and you see a couple of interviews or something with Brad Pitt and you go, he seems like a cool guy. He seems like the kind of guy that I could hang out with, right? Yeah, maybe. Okay. Now, maybe. Maybe. But I just want you to follow me along with this just so this makes sense, okay? I'm following. I'm following. So you think he's a cool guy and you want to get to know him. Well, you will never get to know him by meeting his fans. And the reason is because some of his fans are cuckoo. And some of his fans and followers are normal. But you're never going to get to know him by judging him on his fans. Because everybody's got Lulu fans. You're never going to know me by getting to know my fans. Because even though my fans may follow me, they're just people. And some of them are stupid. Some of them are idiots. Some of them are really, really cool. Some of them are nice. Does that make sense? You know what it does, Mikey? That's a really good analogy. And I think what happens is knuckleheads like these get so much media attention.
including your own show, you guys really play it up. And, you know, there are billboards all over. And then you get a lot of people that believe it. So then you're thinking, man, you know, common sense. And again, recovering Catholics, so I've got a history of religion in my life. You're just kind of second-guessing this kind of stuff, thinking, man, this is nuts. Well, hey, you know, that's why I said, bro, that's why I said, though, man, that's why I said, M1 State Farm Agent, you can't. have a relationship with jesus by getting to know by listening to his fans because some of them are whack jobs some of them are whack jobs so i mean honestly that's just i mean we got to call it what it is it's an excuse it basically comes down to an excuse i can say yeah i don't want to get i'm not gonna get to know him because his fans are weirdos well some of them are weirdos some of them are weirdos some of them are cool Yeah, you know, Mikey, I wouldn't say it's an excuse. I think it's a choice. Well, okay. It's a choice. It's a choice. I'm not going to get to know this person because his fans are weirdos. But your reason for that choice is what's dissuading you or swaying you one way or the other. The reason that you have.
Make the choice on your own, not based on what somebody else says or does. You know, like what about those people that hold up those signs that say God hates fags? Right. What about those people? They're nuts. They're nuts. They're nut jobs. Agreed. You know, I'm not saying that I disagree with Christianity. I mean, I do attend a local church on occasion, but it's just, you know, when you're on the fence and I do take everything into consideration, but when you're on the fence, sometimes you're thinking, oh, my goodness. And I agree, Mike, you did. You know, there are fanatics on both ends, and sometimes those fanatics sway you one way or another. But it's just, this is not, you know, helping those people that are on the fan. I agree with that, bro. Sure, man. Trust me. I agree with it. I agree with it. Hey, guys, I love Mikey. I love the show. I got to run, but thanks for all the feedback, man. I love the show. Thank you, bro. I appreciate it. You know, and that's the deal. I always want to, I don't ever want to appear like a weirdo. You know, I always want to be a normal guy because I realize that there's going to be some people that I may be the only Bible they ever read. Me. So I don't want to look like a weirdo. But I'll probably be back here on Monday just so you know. Well, I will. Probably.
Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. Greetings from San Diego Hydroponics and Organics. You know, it doesn't matter if you're using soil, hydroponics, aquaponics, or even aeroponics. San Diego Hydroponics has the gardening supplies you need and the experience to help. They've been dialing in San Diego's indoor gardens and grow rooms for over 12 years running. They've got your lighting, digital and magnetic ballasts, hoods and reflectors, plus tons of high-pressure sodium, metal halide, LED, and T5 grow lights. Everything needed to supply your own sun. Want to change the weather? Check. San Diego Hydroponics stock grow tents, fans, filters, ducting, and environmental controllers. Everything to keep your crop-yielding monster fruits. Remember, San Diego Hydroponics is San Diego County's exclusive retailer for house and garden Vandeswan ingredients. Got questions? Visit sdhydroponics.com and use our free 24-hour Ask a Grower service. Or visit us in Pacific Beach, Lakeside, San Marcos, or Carlsbad. San Diego Hydroponics and Organics, cultivating a green community.
I love BMW and I love BMW Encinitas. They are the greatest. And it's the only place that I'll take my BMW. 2011 BMW right now, if you go down there, that's a 328 sedan. It's pre-owned. And it's one of their service loaners, meaning that when you go in there and they give you a loaner car, that's what they're selling you here. And actually what they're doing is leasing it for $219. Just go to BMW Encinitas and ask the dealer for the details on it. They want to help you get a lower gas bill. That's why they're knocking off $7,000 of the 2011 335 diesel sedan, $7,000 off MSRP. It's good. BMWEncinitas.com, if you'd like to give them a call, or if you'd like to find them online. If you want to give them a call, you can call them. 760-753-6301. Oh, how about this? The first 50 people to take a test drive at BMW Encinitas this Friday, Saturday, or Sunday is going to get a free Sunday brunch from Vigilucci's. Pretty cool. You go and take a test drive, you get a free brunch from Vigilucci's. BMW Encinitas. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why?
Because as a small business owner, it's more than your job. It's what you love. And you need technology that keeps pace with your passion. That's why Verizon delivers all the wireless solutions you need to make sure your business rules. Verizon technology gives you the power to enable growth and boost productivity. Because only Verizon offers an arsenal of advanced devices, powerful business apps, and mobile security safeguards, all backed by unrivaled customer support and the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. More small businesses choose Verizon Wireless than any other wireless carrier because they know the small business with the best technology rules. Now get the lightning-fast Thunderbolt by HTC for only $249.99. No rebate required, exclusively at Verizon. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash smallbusiness, or call 1-800-VZW-4Biz. Requires new tier activation and data pack, early termination and other fees apply. Preference results based on third-party study. So I'm at the theater with my mom and sister. who somehow convinced me to see the latest Victorian romantic love tragedy film. But at least I have an ice-cold Coke. Well, I had an ice-cold Coke. Now I'm down to that last part where if I try to drink it, there's a good chance it'll make a slurping noise. Quiet. So I'm waiting for an action scene to cover the slurp. And waiting for the action scene. And waiting. Coca-Cola. Open happiness.
Refreshing Coke and refreshing savings make summer cooler. Visit your local Albertsons and grab a Coca-Cola summer booklet with more than $85 in savings. That includes $2 off a large Coke at your local AMC theater. And pick up plenty of Coke for all your get-togethers. Coca-Cola, open happiness. While booklet supplies last in savings of participating AMC theater's locations. Peter considers himself the smartphone king. Right now, he's videoing himself as he zip lines over Fremont Street in Vegas while emailing his mom about the meal he just had in the Cosmopolitan's China Poblano and simultaneously tweeting his followers a pic of the outfit he just scored at the only Tom Ford store on the West Coast. Peter's phone is smart, but his status updates are even smarter. I like to keep it interesting. Find your own way to Vegas at visitlasvegas.com. Paid for by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. Chevron Extra Mile has always been my go-to store. But now, they're giving me even more reasons to go. Like a chance to win Extra Mile bucks instantly. Or a Disneyland Resort vacation to experience the new Star Tours with airfare from Southwest Airlines Vacations. Just by entering my code online. Maybe it's a Jedi mind trick. You know, I don't care. I'm going anyway.
No purchase necessary. Open to legal residents of California, Oregon, and Washington, 18 and over. Void or prohibited. See rules in stores or at extramilegame.com. Hence June 30th while supplies last. Chevron Extra Mile. Extra easy, extra value at select Chevron locations. Welcome to the REI anniversary sale. Hi, we're going camping and need a roomy... Marmot limestone four-person tent. Yes, and for the mosquitoes, I need a... Exofficio Bugs Away Halo shirt. Ooh, that'll look good with my... Chaco ZX2 sandals. Whoa, you're like my outdoor stylist. We know what you need because we know what you love. Shop REI's anniversary sale and save up to 30% May 20th through 30th. Plus, members get 20% off one full-price item. Exclusions apply. REI. Find out. Visit REI in Chula Vista at Otay Ranch Town Center, Encinitas and San Diego, or shop REI.com. Hey guys, it's Woodsy. And L.O.V. from The Mikey Show. Join us this Saturday from 7 to 10 at the Mira Mesa Epicenter for Mira Mesa's Got Talent. We will be judging Mira Mesa's best singers, dancers, musicians, comedians, jugglers, as they compete for over $500 in prizes. Tickets are only $10 and available for purchase at miramesatheaterguild.org. That's theater with an R.
All proceeds benefit the Mira Mesa Theater Guild. So that's this Saturday at the Mira Mesa Epicenter. I'll see you there. I'll see you there. I'll see you there. I'll see you there. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors and Cause Band, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, or visit SoCalMB.com. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I wouldn't like it. I'm not very attractive. Lauren. When I was in college, that was like my M.O. I would get drunk and steal random stuff. Woods. Oh, I want filth. I want straight filth. As filthy as it can get. Sienna. Mine are always crying. I'm a crier. And Jay. I have a pond. I built a pond in my yard. On FM 94.9. If you're going to meet a girl's family for the first time. Oh, boy. A couple things you need to know. All right. First of all, you take off that baseball cap. Absolutely. Think classic style. Okay? Jeans and a sport jacket. It works everywhere. No, Jay, don't give me that look. Sports jackets and meter folks in a row. I don't care if it's not your style. Do it. How's your relationship with your in-laws? Make an impression. Good. It is good.
Is it? First time you met him, you look like a gator hunter. I had hair crazy across my face. Oh, boy. Black and shingles. Sienna? Yeah. You basically can't overdress. You can't? Don't overdress. Well, yeah, you can wear a suit and tie. Like a suit, and then you'll look ridiculous. But just always, the sharper, the better. So they invite you to a barbecue. You get over there, and there are shorts and flip-flops. Okay. And you've got a sports jacket on. I agree with Jay. Jeans and a sport jacket. You could wear nice shorts and a polo, and you'd be fine. Yeah. Dude. That's what I'm saying. If you get invited to meet her parents at an outdoor barbecue, let's say it's not an outdoor barbecue. It's like dinner. He's making it like, oh, really? So you're coming to a pool party where you're going to swim and you're going to wear jeans and a water balloon fight. They invited you to the beach to go in the ocean. I say it solely depends on the event. Let's say for the spirit of the stupid thing. You're going to dinner. You're going to dinner. You're going to their house to meet them. You're going to their house. You wear a sports jacket. I'm not wearing a sports jacket. Okay, guys. Let me put it this way. Okay, if you're going scuba diving with her parents, don't wear the jeans and the sport jacket. If you're going beekeeping with the parents, rock climbing, yes, then you don't have to wear the jeans. I think there's fewer times that you would wear it. If you're going...
on a meet up and jog any number of things there's only a few times what about a 5k let's say that now you know how i feel doing the list yeah this is stupid list why do you wear a sports jacket to go train with your person what if he's building a fence yeah and you gotta help him what if what if they invited him over to help build a fence Or put together a trampoline, man. I ain't wearing a good sport coat on. No. I got one I had since 77. Yeah, you're going to wear a sport coat to build a trampoline? You're going to wear out the leather patches on the elbows. Let's say that it's the atypical meeting of the parents at the house. At the home. At the home. For dinner. Sitting at the dinner table. Loosen up. Jeans and a sport jacket will work every time. Yep, every time. Too much. From the neck up. Be clean shaven. Yes. Really? So you would get rid of your goatee, Mikey, if you're meeting somebody's parents for the first time? No, but you would clean up. I would not, but I would clean up from the neck up. I would clean up. Don't worry about any manscaping from your parents. Just neck up. Neck up. If you don't wear cologne, go buy a bottle of cologne and put one spray of cologne on.
I ain't buying extra stuff to meet these people. That ain't them I'm trying to think. Am I making out with them or her what? I've done slept with the girl. I'm on, tell them that. I already slept with her. I made a dang sex tape with her. No, you won't. I erased it right after if you're interested. You think I'm going to get all spruced up for some guy? You expect me to spend $7.99 on some old spice? I ain't buying Stetson at CBS for no $7.99. I ain't getting brute. Brut? I ain't gonna buy Brut. You know how much Brut costs? Aquadicio. Aquadicio? I ain't buying that fancy air manny. I ain't getting no Stetson. I don't care if Tom Brady wears it. I just rubbed some shaving cream on myself. It smells the same. Forget deodorant. You know I don't wear that. Soap. Soap. Ivory soap. Homemade. No, not ivory. I make our soap out of bacon. And lime. Bacon grease and lime. If you want it to smell pretty, rub some flowers in it. Don't show up empty-handed. Agreed. Mike, I ain't bringing nothing. What do I got to do? Oh, what do I do? Bring a French tickler.
Hey, here you go, Mrs. Smith. Here's a nice French tickler from my personal collection. All right. Bring the dad some brass knuckles. Flowers and bottle of wine is a good dog. Of course it is. What about the sex tape you made with their daughter? Acceptable or not. Entertainment. Don't forget, dudes. You're on the campaign trail. Okay? Your job is to convince her family you're a good dude. It's a job. So when you get there, you start shaking hands, kissing babies. Helping out in the kitchen, man, setting the table. Boy, I was good with the parents always, but sometimes not so much the daughters. Mom wants a sweetheart. Dad wants a gentleman. Be both. Don't be aloof. What the hell's that, Mac? Who's aloof? Stop speaking Greek. I know what aloof is. I'm looking at one brownie, and I ain't talking about the color of your skin.
I mean like a Ghirardelli chocolate brownie. If they was one in human form, I'm looking at it. Y'all are what you eat. Five foot five and a half with little T-Rex arms sticking out of a brownie. Have something to say. Don't just show up. Be shy, guy. Have something to say. Sit in the corner. Get in on conversations. Have your own stories to add. If there's a conversation, add something to it. Plan some funny stories in your mind that's happened between you and their daughter that you can tell them. It's a great idea. And this one's really good. Last one. Lend a hand. You got to get in there, man. Help out. When dinner's over, hey, can I help out? Can I, you know, maybe even just start doing it. Wait for them to say, oh, no, no, no, no, we got it. And then you go, oh, no, no, please. Please. I insist. No, I do this. This is how I was raised. I enjoy it. Plus, after we're married, I'll never. I'll never do it again. Don't worry about that. I'll never do this ever again. I'll be on the couch. Can I tell you a story? So, Rebecca has been, she quit smoking years ago. Years ago. But when we were very first dating, she was, both of us were still smokers. And I didn't care. I smoked them from my parents.
Outside. I mean, not in the house. But outside, I'd light up a cigarette. They knew I smoked. Well, Rebecca would not. Obviously. I mean, she's not going to smoke in front of the parents. So, she had this entire process that she would go through before she would see my parents. And it involved like a smoking fast. You know, it was like hours of smoking fast. Followed by brisk hand washing. sanitary gelling, teeth brushing, mints, body spray, the whole thing, just to not let my parents know that she smoked. In fact, that charade remained. I don't even think that they ever even knew that she smoked. Are they finding out now? Yeah, because she quit. We both quit. And yeah, she did this whole thing. I did too, I think. When you go around the parents, you do not.
You know, you got to put your best foot forward. It's a big foot, Mike. It's a fat foot. It's a tiny, dainty foot. Fat nonetheless. Can't get around that. Literally. Can't get around you. There is a Texas teacher that has allegedly had sex with five of her students. Her students. And we will tell you about it next. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Are sold out. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets.
FM 94.9 Independence Jam, Coastal Invasion. Presented by Triple Hops, Rude Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubby's and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. We know you want ultimate performance and... ultimate fuel efficiency. So now BMW Encinitas is making it easier to drive a new BMW. Now you can lease a new 2011 535i sedan with the ultimate MPG, 30 highway miles per gallon for just $579 a month plus tax. And with BMW picking up your first four years or 50,000 miles maintenance, you'll save thousands over the life of your BMW. Going on now at BMW Encinitas. Get the ultimate savings and ultimate fuel efficiency. A 535i with 30 miles per gallon for just $579 a month. BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or visit us online at bmwencinitas.com.
Thousands of customers all over the world are sharing their stories of how Ovation Cell Therapy has helped grow their hair. Be a part of this fundraising event Saturday, May 21st and help raise money for research, treatment and education. To sign up for Walk for Hope, visit walkforhope.org. To learn how Ovation Cell Therapy can work for you, log on to OvationHair.com and watch the testimonials. Or visit the Ovation booth at Walk for Hope, Saturday, May 21st. We'll be there to answer your questions. OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM 94.9 for your special introductory discount. Ovation can work for you, too. At Boy's Head, we work hard to make our oven go turkey the best it can be.
It's pure turkey breast, slow-roasted the old-fashioned way. But there's a downside to such excellence. Boar's Head Oven Gold is a magnet for lunch thieves. You open up the office fridge and find your oven gold turkey sandwich has been stolen, pilfered, pinched. So what can you do? Well, you could get a cheap turkey sandwich from a sandwich chain, something made from ground-up pots, preservatives, and fillers like seaweed extract. Nobody's going to steal that. Or you could stand by your oven gold turkey and take defensive measures, invest in a padlocked lunchbox, set up a fridge cam, or simply eat your lunch at 10 a.m. before anyone has a chance to steal it. Sure, it's a little extra effort, but a great turkey sandwich needs protecting, and oven gold is the best there is. Boar's Head. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. Tired of credit cards that don't really reward you? Stop. Now there's the knock your socks off credit card. The only reward card that lets you redeem points for socks, tubes, knee highs, argyles. You name it, just 10,000 points a pair. Are you tired of your points being pointless? Hey, what do you mean? Who doesn't like socks? Yeah, but with U.S. Bank Flex Perks reward cards, points go farther.
Like only 20,000 FlexPoints earn up to a $400 airline ticket. A $400 airline ticket? Yep. Choose from more than 150 airlines with no blackout dates. Wow. There's even a $25 allowance with each award ticket for baggage fees, in-flight food, or drinks. But when you take your shoes off at the airport, what's on your feet? Socks! Earn quickly and redeem easily for travel, merchandise, or cash back for you or your business. But I have to call in the next three minutes or... Nope. Apply for your U.S. Bank FlexPerks reward cards 24-7 at FlexPerks.com or call 800-367- I can see my tippy toes. Time is precious. Not the one day the baby's bored and the next day they're asking to borrow the car kind of precious. But the precious few days to get an amazing deal on a new Honda. Because the nine-day sale is now on at your Honda dealers of San Diego County. From May 22nd until May 30th. All nine Honda dealers are marking down their inventory. They're starting with a nice selection of some of the most popular cars in San Diego, like the Accord, the 2012 Civic, CR-V, and the all-new Odyssey. They're discounting these cars with once-in-a-year price and lease deals. And when they're gone, they're gone. The nine-day sale runs from May 22nd to the 30th at nine Honda dealer locations throughout San Diego County.
To find the dealer nearest you, visit SDHondaDealers.com. If you're in the market for a Honda, we've got your number. But hurry, the nine-day sale ends May 30th. System of a down. Live and served this Saturday night. Brickett Wireless Amphitheater, presented by Sleep Train Mattress Setters, with special guest, Go Gold Bordello. Tickets are on sale now. Buy tickets at LiveNation.com. All Ticketmaster outlets are called $800. 745-3000. Stay informed at systemofadown.com. Hi, I'm Darla. I'm a Fresh and Easy neighborhood market customer. This message is by a real customer, not a celebrity. Saving money we pass on to you. I've always told people about Fresh and Easy. I tell them all the fresh stuff I get. I'll come in here and I'll see something else. Mmm, that looks interesting. Let me try it. As my husband said, I'm the guinea pig. I've never had a Fresh and Easy product that I didn't like. Thanks, Fresh and Easy.
Thanks, Darla. You just saved us some money. Now we can offer low prices on the newest season of fruits. Enjoy sweet nectarines and peaches for just 98 cents a pound. Hey, man, how's life? Oh, all I do is study for the bar exam. Ooh, let me quiz you. Take a look at my Coors Light. What does this bar mean? The Coors Light's cold. And this bar? Means it's super cold? Boom! You just passed the bar exam. New super cold activation with two stages. Now you'll know when your beer goes from cold to super cold. Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. My colleague is speaking double to share some great news from Shell and Ralph's. When you fuel up at Shell, take your receipt to Ralph's and get double rewards points when using your Ralph's rewards card. And double rewards points means faster earnings. Yep. Let me repeat that for emphasis. No, no, no, no. We got it. Okay. Your Shell fuel receipt earns you double rewards points at Ralph's. Well, all right then. Well, all right then.
Fuel earnings are limited to up to 35 gallons per purchase. Offer valid through August 31, 2011 at participating Shell Stations. See stores for details or go to www.ralphs.com slash fuelpromotion. USAA is proud to be the official military appreciation partner of the San Diego Padres. Find out when USAA and the Padres are honoring the military this season. Stop by the local USAA Financial Center in Oceanside or go to USAA.com slash Padres. Mikey Show. Mikey. Liberals drive me nuts. Most of them. I will always say that. Liberals drive me nuts because of how conservative I am. Lauren. Yeah, you call me thrifty. I call me smart. Cheap. Woods. I was kind of the class clown in high school, if you guys can imagine. Zienna. My biggest pet peeve is when people go... When they chill. Ah, it drives me nuts. And Jay. I'm a salt aficionado. On FM 94.9. Is that what she would do when she would sing this song? She would put her hands... Is that like her dress? What's in her hands? Her sleeves. Her long sleeves. Now, this is solo Stevie, right? You know why Stevie... One of the reasons I think Stevie is so cool is because she's not ripping somebody off. No. Nobody sounds like Stevie. Right. Nobody. All right, so...
Sienna, what's the deal with this Texas teacher that had sex with five of her male students? Yes. Now, the thing is, is all five of them were 18-year-old students. And they say that these kids went to her home. She is 27 years old. How can she be in trouble for having sex with an adult? Because it's a criminal offense for teachers to have sex with a primary or secondary school student, no matter the student's age. The conviction carries a penalty of anywhere from two years to 20 years in prison per count. Now, she has five counts. Her name is Brittany Nicole Kleps. and she's an English teacher at Kendale High School. Okay, now I'm guessing that secondary means that they've graduated. No, I think that means like middle schoolers. Secondary is high school. Secondary school is high school. But you said a primary or... Or a secondary school student. Primary is elementary. Elementary and middle and high. Okay. They're still in child school.
You know what I mean? Even though they're 18. Even though they're 18. It doesn't matter their age. Okay. Now, let's say they graduate from high school. Graduation day is May 23rd. Uh-huh. Can she legally have sex with them May 24th? I think so, yeah. I think it's ridiculous. If they're 18, they're out of the system. Yeah. It's strange. She shouldn't be in any trouble. Now, it's not the brightest thing anybody's ever done. No? Because she shouldn't be in any legal trouble. Second degree felony. That's horse crap. Yeah, I think they're adults. They should be. They sign in paperwork, though, to become a teacher. Ethically, it's not. Oh, yeah. Maybe she loses her job. Yeah. I don't know. Jail, though? But five 18-year-olds? I mean, how are you doing? Well, she's an experimental young lady. Wiener time. It seems like she did her research to make sure they were over 18, probably thinking that she'd get away with it. Yeah, there's not a lot. Well, I'm thinking about my group of buddies. We were all 17 when we graduated high school. All of us. Except for like one dude. I was 18. Were you 18? Just turned? Yeah. I didn't graduate, but had I, I'd have been 17. Right. So, you know, ethically, it's terrible, you know. She had sex with a woman over two months. Yes, it is. But they're 18. If this were a guy and it was five young 18-year-old girls, holy cow. Monster. Welcome to the one double standard that we get. The one? Yeah. Totally. High fives, ladies. High fives.
You guys can be sluts to sleep with kids. Well, you know, she was with five of them in two months. So that's, you know, a little promiscuous. A couple of them at the same time, I heard. Or I read, actually. That's a promiscuous woman. She is a promiscuous girl. Yeah. But she shouldn't go to jail. She should lose her job. That's Texas for you. She should lose her job for having sex with students. It was her first year being an English teacher. And her last. Couldn't contain herself. Maybe ease into the system. Make some friends in the break room. She was placed on paid administrative leave until the end of the school year. Maybe try eHarmony here. But she turned herself in Monday morning and posted a $125,000 bond for her release that afternoon. Slept with some adult males. Yeah. Oh, are you Miss Barnes? I am. Okay. All right. Well, what we need you to do is go ahead and take your ticket to have a seat. Okay. And then the bailiff will call you. Yeah, right. You're the Miss Barnes that had sex with the five students? Yep. They're all 18. They're all adult men. They could go to war and get shot. No, I understand that. But weren't you their English teacher? Yeah. It's over there at Kendall High, right? Yeah, Kendall High. Yeah, I got a kid that goes there. I never got him. You don't know my name. Maybe you did. Your name's on your...
shirt there. Oh, so you can read? Yeah. All right. Well, here's the deal, Miss... What is it? Sloot. Brittany Nicole Collepsin. Brittany Nicole Collepsin. Have a seat, Miss Collepsin. I'm sitting down. You are? Aren't I? Wow. That is creepy. Are you midget? I prefer a little person. Mikey prefers midget. She spells her name funny, too. It bothers me. Brittany? T-T-N-I. That's my middle name. That's how I spell it. That's so annoying. Maybe it was an oral exam. Why don't you just go by Britney? Oh, Jay. Oh, sweet Marie. Holy cow. Sweet Lord. I brought my pencil. Yeah. Hot for teacher. Real good. Jay's doing the shirt shake right now. Oh, he's shaking it, dude. Real good. Big stretch. I'm going to sneak one in. And about. I'm going to sneak one in at 9.59. What are you going to do by Mike? What are you going to do, boy? Mike, I'm loved.
I don't get in trouble for nothing. Watch the Facebook page, buddy. They love me. I can do no wrong. Let me read these. I printed them out. Good one, Jay. You're the best. Jay is killing me. Jay, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Jay is a genius. Your show would be nothing without Jay. Genius. Jay is a genius. Genius. See that? He's a genius. Jay is so funny. Lol. What's that? Jay, don't ever stop. Ha, ha, ha. That's what my wife says, too. Ha, ha. Got one more in. That's right. 9.59. What you gonna do, Tubby? Check out Facebook. You love me. You know, I could merge someone. They wouldn't even care. They'd think it was funny. They'd think it's hysterical. They'd lol. He didn't mean it that crazy, Jay. He's crazy. That's how he is. That's just how Jay is. You don't know Jay like I know Jay. That's right. I could slap a baby seal, buddy. And they'd laugh. I wear a baby seal suit. Yeah. Ain't nobody going to care. Next meet and greet, I'll wear a baby seal suit. You watch, they'll laugh. They'll throw paint on y'all. They don't like y'all. They'll protest y'all. But me, they'll hold me on their shoulder and say,
For he's a jolly good feller. For he's a jolly good feller. For he's a jolly good feller. That nobody can deny. Hillary, what do you got coming up? Oh, goodness. What did I grab? The new Sublime song that they've done with their new lead singer, Rome. Nice. It's called Panic. It's very Real Big Fish circa 1998. I want to hear it. But catchy. Yeah. Sublime with Rome, Panic. So I'll play that and I'm going to play some New Death Cab for Beauty. I grab The Kills and Radiohead and Cracker and Band of Skulls who are playing our indie jam. Nice. No muse? What? No muse? I'll get some muse on. Fury! Woodsy. Muse! Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we will see you tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. The Mikey Show's out.