The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/19/11

0:57570-1949. We get M1 Nation on the line when we start the program. So you can call us and you can say hi. It looks a little overcast. But yesterday it said today was going to be sunny and I believe it. I think that that junk's going to burn off. We're going to be fine. It's going to be looking real good. Although it was chilly this morning. Walking outside. Felt chilly. Give us a call. 570-1949. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 40 for a couple more weeks and really enjoying that, just living the life, living it up, you know, trying to get that bucket list in there before the 21st when apparently all Christians disappear according to some whack job in where? I don't know. Utah? Something? No, he's in Northern California. Northern California. Figures. Same thing. Yeah. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 35 and big Yankee fan.

2:02Big baseball fan. Yeah. Baseball first. Knockers. Thank you, Jay. Kid loves him some baseball. Watched 15 innings of a baseball game last night. 15 innings? Yeah, it was dinner time at my house. Dinner's about 5.30, 6.00. And the Yanks were in the ninth. They had a one-run lead. And I was grilling up, you know, chicken. And I had the laptop open. Right. Next thing you know, it's 1-1. Tied. And here they go. Who are they playing? The Orioles. Who won? The Yanks. All right. In 15. There you go, dude. 15 innings. That's better than the Yanks losing in 15. Oh, my God. It's like, come on. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as LOB, is our assistant producer. She's also a comedian and originally from New Jersey and can do a lot of voices. She does an incredible Jersey chick. Yesterday, she said, And I don't know what you followed it up with, but whatever it was, was hysterical. It was fantastic. I don't remember what we were talking about or what it was, but it was great. She did a Nancy Grace. She did a Nancy Grace. When you left the room, it just floored me. This is a great Nancy Grace. If you know who Nancy Grace is, it's freaking fantastic. Dynamite. Sienna is our news girl, and she does not have a flat tire today. It's been fixed. Thank goodness. She's good to go.

3:29And back in the studio with us. Nothing flat about Sienna's tires. Oh, boy. I had to get an all-new tire. It was completely stripped, I guess. Really? Yeah. You drove a little bit on that rim. I did. A little bit. I did. I got new tires two days ago over at Evans. Had two. Same thing. My tire would go flat every two weeks. Nothing worse. Nothing worse. Jay is our producer. And he's 47 years of age. And you would never know it. Nope. He's in great shape. Works out a lot. And his workouts are not like gym workouts. He just gets out and does stuff. All the time. Guys just move. Drives me crazy. I know it. Come with me. Oh, boy. And our phone screener is Chris. That's cross. That's cross. Your word of the day is napkin.

4:29Your word of the day is napkin, and it's good for a pair of tickets to see Eddie Vedder. Now, check this out, all right? You're listening for me to weave the word napkin into a sentence, and when you hear it, the opportunity for you to win Eddie Vedder tickets and a four-pack of tickets to the fair. That's what the winner gets today. It's a big prize. So be listening for me to weave the word napkin into a sentence between now and 10, and be calling 9 for that. A lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger updates today. As you know, he cheated on his wife a decade ago. Yeah. And Maria Shriver is filing for divorce. But there was some other...

5:18Breaking stories about Arnold and that stuff yesterday. Yeah, well, the mistress was revealed. I'm sure if you were watching the news at all, you saw the picture of her. Mildred Patricia Bonet. She's 50 years old. She goes by Patty. And Patty, we found out, was a housekeeper slash assistant for the family for 20 years. Her responsibilities included cleaning, laundry, cooking, and just some other chores. And apparently Patty was the one that began pursuing Arnold is the story that's coming out now in the late 90s and told friends. Friends are now coming forward saying that they knew about it and that they had unprotected sex during the day at his house, but never at night. They never spent the night together. It was always during the day. And she didn't tell Arnold for a while until the little boy was a toddler that the child was Arnold's. So she was married before. And so the birth certificate of the child is, of course, out now. And Patty listed her husband as the father.

6:18husband knows now. And, you know, apparently I haven't seen a picture of the son. They're not really showing it, but apparently the son does look a lot like Arnold. Um, also his two sons, the son with Patty, the housekeeper and his Maria's son, they were only born a few days apart, a few days apart. So both of them were pregnant at the same time. Crazy, right? Oh, wow. I know. And, Oh, that's so hurtful. Oh, that breaks my heart because of what Maria is. Thinking and going through. And remembering and reminiscing about. You know, thinking about, oh, you're pregnant too. Oh, we should go on a walk together. Hey, how are things going with your nipples and everything and all that stuff? I don't know that that's really something that they say. Are you sure, though? Are you sure? See, you kind of got me there because I'm not 100% on that. I've never been, you know, I never took walks with my wife when she walked with her girlfriends. I'm just using... You know, just sort of logically, I don't know that they would say, you know, that phrase. But you don't know that they wouldn't. No. You don't know that they wouldn't. That's my point. Fair enough. Reasonable doubt. Fair enough. And another update in the Schwarzenegger case is Maria has now hired a divorce attorney. It's not for certain she's getting a divorce, but she has met with Laura Wasser. Oh, yeah. Who will be representing her. Do you know who Laura Wasser is? No, but she sounds really mean.

7:44The top divorce attorney in Los Angeles. In LA, yeah. I know someone that works for her. Female? Worked for her, yeah. She'll get you. Oh, yeah. Oh, she's going to get him? Well, let me tell you something. The person that I know said she's tougher when the males hire her. Tougher on the females? Yeah. When a guy hires Laura Wasser, she's tougher on the females. Wow. It's just the whole thing is awful, you know? But hey, listen, I heard some good news today in terms of divorce statistics. I heard... The divorce statistics are, I believe this is just for the United States, they are leveling off. The divorce rate appears to be leveling off, which is good. Hopefully it tips the other direction and starts going towards, hey, you know, less and less people are getting a divorce. But the fact that it's leveled off, at least to me, that's great news. Yeah, they're saying that nearly one out of two first marriages is still expected to end in divorce. So it's not all good, but about 75% of those who've gotten married since 1990 reported they'd reached their 10-year anniversary, which is up about three percentage points to those who'd married in the 80s. There is no doubt in my mind that when people get married, that they genuinely believe that they're going to stay together forever. They genuinely believe it. But what you have to remember is that...

9:09storms are going to come like they are tornadoes. Tornadoes mixed with hurricanes. You know, marriages, that's just what happens. You get them. And the best thing to do is hunker down with each other. Hunker down. Grab onto something and just don't leave. And then it blows over. It does go away. See, I think people are going into marriage now with a totally different mindset. What do you think, Jay? I think they're going in with like, hey, this isn't forever. I mean, I've seen people that are just getting married and it almost seems like, hey, if it didn't work out in a year, we're out. Yeah, I see that too. I believe that. There's always divorce. Yeah, there's always divorce. It's always divorce. And from the women's point of view, it's like, and I'll end up with 60% of his stuff. So what's the big deal? I thought it was 50. It's more, actually. I heard from one guy that he had a... Paying like 60% of his stuff. Half. More than half. Half. Ouch. You know, women pay it too if they're supporting the husband. So it's not just men. That happens a lot. I've actually known it to happen a few times. A few times. How crazy is that? I mean, it should be, I guess it should be half. Should it? You know what I don't believe? I don't believe that people, human beings, should have to pay someone when there's no kids involved.

10:36Yeah, I agree with that. Like give them money? Yeah. Like alimony? You're against alimony. Or palimony. Or palimony. I'm against both. What about balimony? If there's no kids, I don't believe that a guy who's married to a woman that's a CEO should go, you gotta give me money. And the reason you gotta give me money is because you've put me in a lifestyle that I'm accustomed to living in. I've grown accustomed to this. LOB, I'm interested in your point of view on this. I think it depends who's at fault because, you know, a marriage is a legally binding contract. And if you break the contract by being unfaithful or something like that, and your wife is a housewife and she's devoted her life to being, you know, that to you. Yeah, but you can't have it both ways. All right. And what I mean by that is let's say that you are a woman and I'm married to you and you're the money earner. Okay. And you are a CEO of a company. And we don't have any kids together. But I do have a very expensive car habit that you support. And I like to rebuild engines. And it's very expensive. And you support all this stuff, right? And we live in a nice house in Del Mar. And you, the bread earner, you, L-O-B, you cheat on me. Okay? I can't believe you would do this. And we get a divorce. And I...

12:05You got to pay me. Yeah. Now, how about this? How about I cheat on you? Same situation. Okay. CEO of the company. You got to pay me. No. That's what the law says, though. I think they should find at fault. Yeah, it's a no fault state, right? No fault. Yeah. Just, hey, we got divorced. Split it up. Yeah. Just terrible. Terrible. Yes, very. Very unfair in a lot of cases. It's not fair. Well, I just don't believe in it. I don't believe in fault. Right. Just don't divorce. Well, no, don't divorce. Right. Yeah, don't divorce. But regardless of, that's my number one, but regardless of that, I don't believe that people should be giving people money. I don't believe in that. Yeah, unless it's for child support and that's it. Yeah, if you have a kid, you have to support your kid no matter what. Right. And that's that. But I do not believe in this concept of giving people money. They should get a prenup or they should not cheat. No prenup. No. But we want prenup. Jay says he wants prenup. Y'all holler, we want prenup. We want prenup. I hate those things, man. Don't cheat them. Don't put an insurance policy on our marriage. I wouldn't do it. I'd never ask for one. If you've got that much money and you think there might be a chance that you're going to break the contract, then put some sort of addendum in place. Oh, man. Safety net, pal. Man, if what Jay says is true.

13:36Man, that's weird. If he's right and people are going into marriages nowadays where they're thinking, hey, this may not work out. It's all right. We both know somebody. That's what they did? They went into it, yeah. Thinking like that? Yeah. What is up? Who admits that? They admitted it after the divorce? No, she did going into it. Are they divorced now? Oh, yeah. And she knew going into it? She knew going into it. Oh, boy. Why do that? I mean, what a... tough process to reverse. What's going on with this whole thing with NFL players being shorted dough? Actually, they're not being shorted dough. They are out of dough. Short of dough. They are now going to these various places to Get loans. And what they do is there's there's a few of these agencies out there like this one's called AGR Sports Funding. Well, what they do is let's say you're a high profile NFL player. You come to my office and say, hey, man, I'm out of dough. We're locked out. I'm not getting a paycheck. I'm not getting my offseason workout bonus. I'm broke. All right. I can float you 250 K at 30 percent. And they're like, yep, no problem. And they're saying, well, the reason we charge such high interest, we don't care about their credit.

14:55We look at them and we say, that guy may be a pro bowler one day. He's going to get paid. We'll take our chances on this. And they're throwing out these big loans. So this guy said in the last couple of weeks, he has seen 25 NFL players, including pro bowlers, come in there and ask him for money because of this lockout. And at 30% interest rates, man. Here's the deal. It's insane. They do a rookie symposium. It's called a rookie symposium. What they do is. All rookies. It's mandatory. They must all get together at a resort hotel and they must go into a ballroom. And in this ballroom, they are taught. There's going to be these ladies called prohos, guys. Okay. What they do is they prey on you. They will get you and they just want to be with you because you're famous. Okay. Right. Also, fellas, we want you to know something else. We want you to know that you need to. manage your money correctly. You've got all this money and so we're going to provide you guys with names of people that you can get a hold of that will help you to manage your money. We also want you to know how you should talk to the media. We also want you to know the kinds of things you should tweet and the kind of things you shouldn't tweet. We want you to know and they teach the rookies all this stuff. Just this proves a point and that is a lot of people think

16:24That money solves everything. And you've heard people say money doesn't solve anything. Money is not the way to happiness. This is a perfect examination of why. Regardless of how much money you make, you will manage that money in the same way that you managed money when you were broke. Right. Okay? So let's say that you don't have a lot of money right now. You're just getting by. All right. There are some people that are just getting by. I'll give you an example. My niece is one of them. She's very budget minded. OK, and she's very frugal and she budgets and blah, blah, blah. And she doesn't make very much, but she's got a reserve even though she doesn't make very much. Now, if she won the lottery tomorrow, she'd be the same way. She would buy a very sensible car, a very sensible house. She would buy a very sensible. OK, and she would manage her money very sensibly. Then there are people like myself who go, oh, that looks good. I'll buy that. Oh, that looks good. I'll buy that. Oh, that looks good. I'll buy that. It's always the way that I've been. It's the reason I'm on an allowance. OK, I had to tell my wife, put me on an allowance. And the only reason I said that to her, because there was a point where I didn't say that and I did whatever I wanted. She never complained about it. It was, you know, I'm the one with the bread earner.

17:52So she never complained about it. We went to that financial class and I went, I want to do this, but I need your help. You got to put me on an allowance. So she did. These clowns are doing the same thing. Right. It doesn't matter how much money you make. You will either save it or spend it or be irresponsible or responsible like you always have been. That's why people that win the lottery, their lives end up a mess. Yes. You see it all the time. You see it all the time. And these guys, in a lot of cases, these kids, I mean, 18, or not 18, but, you know, 19, 20, 21, 22-year-old kids, they were told last year, you know, listen, we're going to be locked out. Start preparing for the famine now. Yeah. And they didn't. And so now they're taking out $250,000 loans at 30%. Yeah. And it's just, I mean, they got health insurance they got to pay for because it's locked out. Everything's locked out. Nothing is getting through. It's a lot of money. So if they weren't saved, if they weren't prepared for this, it could be very tough for them. Sienna, tell me about this French...

19:01What's the latest with the French IMF? The head of the IMF, Dominique Strascon, has resigned yesterday as the head of the International Monetary Fund. He said he wanted to devote his energies to fighting these sexual assault charges against him, which, yeah, you're going to be spending a lot of time doing that, which he strongly denied. And his second bail hearing is set for today. So we'll find out more because his first bail was denied, you know, because he was a flight risk. Yeah. We don't want him fleeing the country right now. He chased this. Now, allegedly. OK, because it hasn't been proven yet. But the woman that he was chasing around the suite that he was in naked, you know, the suit claims the arrest says that he chased her around. He sodomized her, which means it was it was the bad kind of sex or the, you know, extremely forced. Yes. And it also says that he that this woman. Had been an employee of this hotel for three years and that she was a great employee. And so, I don't know. So sad. Very sad. And she didn't know who he was at all. And, you know, most people didn't. How would you? So it's not like she's just specifically going after him. She went right down to security and she has a very good case. And security cameras caught him leaving very, like, rushed. Hurriedly.

20:27Now, he claims the reason that he was doing that was because he was going to meet his daughter for lunch. Oh, yeah. Why'd you go to the airport? Yeah, that's a good question. She canceled. Yeah, Jim, I'll do something else. I could not get a reservation. Yeah, we wanted to go to have a non-degree, and we could not get, so I decided, get early flight. Maybe I get early flight out of town, quickly. You heard the phrase, get the hell out of Dodge. Have you heard the phrase? Come on, wheels up. Wheels up. Wheels up. Wheels up. Wheels up. Wheels up. I bet Jay will know this the best. Uh-oh. Jay, have you heard about the surfing Madonna? Yes. What happened was in Encinitas, these two guys came up and they put this big drape up underneath an overpass around this pillar. And they went in and they did this most unbelievable piece of art. Mosaic. It is unbelievable.

21:28It's beautiful. It is beautiful. But they didn't get any permits. It took them a whole day. And they were dressed up like workers. Construction workers so that they could do it and no one would question them. And they did this whole thing. I mean, literally, you would not believe how insane in detail. Very elaborate. So now. So now they're calling it graffiti. And it's a surfing Madonna? Surfing Madonna. It's a Madonna on a surfboard. Like a virgin. Yay! Touched for the very first time. Jesus' mom. On a surfboard. Our Lady of Guadalupe. Our Lady of Guadalupe. So the cost to move it, they were saying, was like $1,700. They wanted to cut it out of the wall. And these guys put it on with this adhesive that just will not come off. They did a really good job. So the city, it wasn't Woods, the city is all the climp because they're thinking that art like this will pop up everywhere. Well, I did think to myself, well, if they don't do that, if they don't take it down, what about the people that aren't as good of artists? That attempt. That try. And they're like, hey, I guess it's all good.

22:42I mean, I'm not very good. I don't know. But maybe I taped some colored Popsicle sticks to the wall. Give it a try. Use adhesive on it. Yeah. Woods, I specifically gave you a look. You pointed at me like. I pointed at you like, don't you do it. I thought you were pointing at me like, you get it. No. I guess I haven't learned your facial. I guess not. The city council, though, did vote to spend $2,000 for an arts conservation agency to take it down without damaging it. Good. Yeah. Remember yesterday I told you about that bin Laden thing that I saw killing bin Laden? Listen to this. Inside bin Laden's house, the commandos move through room by room. They encounter women and children everywhere. One team ties them up while others remain relentlessly focused on the objective. Osama bin Laden. They followed the plans and moved to the building to search for bin Laden. It's a very fast, furious, aggressive movement. They focus on getting to the target. But bin Laden's lair is a labyrinth of reinforced doors built to stall and confuse a raid. Some of the doorways were actually bricked in. So to get to other parts of the house, they had to knock these barricades down.

24:09There were false doors. We're told that this was really kind of a maze. This was, one could argue, one of the toughest assaults you can imagine special operations people doing. The toughest of the toughest. When we come back, you get to hear who SEAL Team 6 has to take out on the way up the stairs. And then finally they talk about exactly how it went down when they come face-to-face with Bin Laden in his bedroom. That's where he was when he was popped. You get to hear exactly how it went down next. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. New, youthful, innovative. Lots of words mean fresh. Add Mercedes-Benz to the list. That's because the 2011 lineup of Mercedes-Benz vehicles is the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class. Take the C300 sports sedan, a rare combination of luxurious refinement and racing pedigree. Its agility control suspension lets it handle with precision, even when driven hard. See your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer about the 2011 C300 sports sedan, and you'll discover that for 125 years, Mercedes-Benz has also been synonymous with value.

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31:48Careful, cars are swerving to avoid it. The 163 northbound between the 5 and Friars Road also slow in the mid-30s right now. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships. They've got a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show. I'm also being told... I have no uterus. With Mikey. I know it's be different. It's not be perfect, okay? There's a lot of theories on what happens with a dinosaur. Woods. Listen, girls like the aloof guy. I'm going to teach them how to be the aloof guy. Not the little P word that I was sometimes. Oh, boy. Zienna. Is it not okay to even let my dog pee on the lawn anymore? Because I was feeling guilty about it. And Jay. I'm against first. On FM 94.9. So, I gave you the clip. I saw this TV show on Nat Geo, and it was called Killing Bin Laden. Now, I'm missing a flat out tell you. Anything that comes on that has anything to do with that operation, I'm taping it. I don't care what it is. I want to know. I want to know how it went down. Now, honestly, I thought it was going to take a while. Didn't take a while. It's already out. I mean, it happened May 1st or something. And, you know, the specials are already out of what went down.

33:30swooping in, the whole deal. Now, what we played you before we went to break was SEAL Team 6 getting to this compound. And what they were supposed to do, by the way, was they were going to lower some dudes down onto the top of the compound, and then they were going to fly a helicopter into the inside of the compound. So they were going to attack from above and below. That was the plan. Problem is, is that, you know how the courtyard is shaped sort of like a triangle? You've seen the courtyard, right? And it's shaped sort of like a triangle. Well, because of the 12 foot high walls, what they didn't account for was the fact that the rotor on the back of the helicopter was going to lose lift because of those 12 foot high walls. When the air went in there and started to do its thing, they lost lift. And the back of the helicopter went. boink and hit the wall and they crashed. Oh no. Which was okay because they were prepared for anything. They knew there could be anything that would go wrong at any point and they were prepared for something going wrong at any point of the operation. So it was like, cool. You know, they even said they don't think it's going to go as planned going in. Yeah. They have a plan, but they're pretty sure not going to happen. So they know no matter what,

34:58So when it didn't, when that thing crashed, they were like, oh, yeah, cool. Imagine that mindset of like, oh, yeah, cool. By the way, the way that they got in there without alerting the Pakistani government, because if the Pakistani see us on radar, they're like, scramble jets, scramble helicopters, call bin Laden, let him know, because I obviously believe they were harboring him. And so they couldn't do that. They couldn't make any noise getting in there. They had these $1 billion. Billion dollar, very small Blackhawks that were special. Not like your regular Blackhawk. These Blackhawks had some stuff built into them that cooled them down so that they wouldn't be detectable by radar. They wouldn't be heat. They wouldn't make a lot of heat. The other thing about these Blackhawks were they were made out of the same material stealth bombers are made out of. So rad. And then what they did was they mapped out.

36:00like with Google Earth, they mapped out, they had to fly 130 miles from where they took these helicopters off from to the compound. And what they did was they mapped, like with Google Earth, flying so low to the ground that they could go in between mountains. They said at times they were flying eye level with trees. They were flying eye level with trees with a German shepherd. Yeah, a German shepherd wearing goggles that were night vision. So that when they got in there, the dog could start hurting people. And by the way, if Bin Laden had, because think about this, you go, wouldn't it make sense that Bin Laden would have like secret trap doors? Wouldn't it make sense that Bin Laden would have secret places where he could go and hide underground? Yeah, the dog would know immediately. Wow. Instantly. It would be utter foolishness for them to have had a trap door.

37:04to try to hide under, because instantly the German shepherd would sniff it out and start to bark. Tweet guy. Little angel. And so... Tough little butt. So here's what happened. So they get there, and they get into the compound, and what they realize is that bin Laden had built doors that when you open them, there's a brick wall. He had created a maze so that you couldn't find him. But these guys are pretty good. Three SEALs in the stairwell see one of Osama bin Laden's sons. Without hesitation, they killed him. He was unarmed. And at that very moment, Osama bin Laden, on the third floor, emerges from his bedroom and leans over the railing to see what all the commotion is. The SEALs notice bin Laden raise their weapons and fire. Bin Laden backs up quickly enough. The SEALs miss.

38:04He backs into the bed. First time, commandos have confirmation that bin Laden is in the house. CIA Director Leon Panetta tells the White House Situation Room, we have a visual on Geronimo, Osama bin Laden's codename. Within. Imagine, by the way, you're Obama. You're all sitting in that Situation Room, and you're waiting to hear. Because at this point, it was a 50-50 chance that he was there. And Obama said, let's go. 50-50 chance. All they're waiting for is, please say you see him. Please say you see him. Please say you see him. And when that comes to Leon Panetta and they say, we got him, it's him. He's here. And they tell that information back to the situation room. Now Obama hears, it's him. He's not dead yet. They just see him. We got a visual. And they're headed up the stairs. A heartbeat. The SEALs are headed up that stairway to the third floor.

39:07As they get to the third floor, at about eye level with the floor, two young girls come running out of the bedroom, screaming in a pan. A Navy SEAL swoops up both girls in his arms and takes them out of the line of fire. Two other SEALs face bin Laden and his wife. One SEAL immediately shot Osama bin Laden's wife in the leg. The other SEAL, almost simultaneously, popped up. One in the chest. One that took off. Let that sink in real good. Just let it sink in. Whoa! Like a coward, by the way, he put his wife in front of him and they popped her in the leg. And they knew it. They were prepared. I know. I know. By the way, his AK-47 was right there. No, I'm going to use a woman as a shield instead of going out like a warrior with an AK. No, I'll use a woman as a shield.

40:15But again, SEALs are prepared. They knew exactly what they were going to run into and they were prepared for anything. They had to, you got to think about it. They had to be prepared for him to have a child in front of him. They had to be prepared for them to open the door and a bomb go off. Sure. You know what I mean? Everything. He obviously isn't a, well, he wouldn't do it, but he's not above having, sending people to do suicide. Sure. He's got to know that if somebody opens one door, the whole place goes up. Right. They got to be ready for that. Right. Holy cow. Crazy. So he's holding the wife in front of him, and we know based on what they did what the directive was. If he's holding a human being in front of him, pop him in the leg so that they fall. And then take him out. So they shot her in the leg. She falls, one to the chest, one to the head. Took the top of his head off. Incredible. The rest of it is incredible, too. What they do with bin Laden at that point. You know? They take him. They forgot. You know what they did forget? They forgot to bring a measuring stick because they knew he was 6'4". So what they did was they put him in a body bag and they took a soldier that was six feet tall. They had him lay down next to bin Laden. And then they took a picture of that. These pictures, by the way, exist. They're there somewhere. So you believe it now 100% you're in that we got him. Well, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I do. Because I don't want to be kooky. Yeah.

41:44mostly I just don't want to be kooky, but there's a story out today, you know, that there's an audio tape. Now, it doesn't, the reason that I believe there's an audio tape of Bin Laden that was just put out by Al-Qaeda is because I believe they have plenty of audio tapes of Bin Laden that they've had for a long time. His thing was, there was no, this is the way that this place seems suspicious, by the way. The reason this compound seems suspicious. was because A, it had 12 foot high walls with barbed wire. But the neighbors would put their garbage out. This place never did. They burned all the garbage. There was also no phone or internet connection to the home. So what they would do is they'd take their garbage out into this big courtyard and they had a big hole dug where they would throw the garbage in. They'd throw fuel on it and light it on fire. They'd burn the garbage. So no garbage keepers ever came to pick anything up. Bin Laden would use computers inside the house with a thumb drive. So he'd put the stuff on the thumb drive and then he would, you know, have that run out. He would send one of his people, yeah, to an internet cafe. Yep. Where it would go in an email. By the way, the dude, the courier that brought this whole thing down, the courier that would go in and out of Bin Laden's compound, guy made one.

43:12That's what did it. One mistake. It happened by accident. They got bin Laden by accident. It happened in September of last year, 2010. They were watching a guy. At Gitmo, they had all these detainees and they were waterboarding them and doing their bit. And they were trying to get information from these guys. Well, a lot of these guys were given false information. Just flat out lying. And saying stuff that just was not true. Okay. But there were a few names that kept coming up. And so the CIA is keeping track of these couple of names that keep coming up. Right. So they take these names and they're running them through the computer and blah, blah, blah. Well, this courier's name had come up. But what happened was they couldn't get the courier on any phone calls, emails, anything. The guy might as well have been out as a needle in a haystack. Okay.

44:16But there was this one guy that they were keeping their eye on and they were doing surveillance on. And the dumb courier one time, once, made a phone call to him. And they were listening to the other guy. And in the process of listening to the other guy went, holy crap, we just heard that dude's name that we've been hearing. And they had him. Wow. And from that point on, they were trailing him. They were watching where he went, and they went, he just went into a place with 12-foot walls and barbed wire. Now he's coming out. Now he's going to an internet cafe. Yes. He's using his thumb drive, and they're watching him the whole time. And they're saying about him, they're like, now, at this point, they're like, they don't know. They're not like, oh, that must be bin Laden. It's not that. But what they are saying is, whoever it is is important. Right. It's a high-ranking al-Qaeda official is in there, we think.

45:15Then they started doing that thing I told you about yesterday where they had a laser beam that they would shine onto the window that picked up vibrations. And those vibrations transmitted into sound. And they were able to listen to what was going on in there. And that's how they were gathering a very firm like, okay, this is who's in there. They had a pretty good idea that it was bin Laden. And they told the president, we are, I think they said. 60% sure it was bin Laden. They were 60% sure. And there were three different ways to go about getting him. One way was to bomb the place. Problem with bombing the place? You ruin any DNA. And so then everybody's like, we don't know that bin Laden was there. There's no visual from anyone. That means that not even a Navy SEAL can say, I looked dude in the face before I popped him.

46:13You can't do that if you bomb the place. The other risk with bombing the place is maybe you're off a little bit. Matter of fact, the neighbor next door went on Twitter and said, helicopters in area, very rare occurrence. So, I mean, these people are not like a bunch of goat herders. Dude's on Twitter. His neighbor. His neighbor. He's like, there's something going on at the... Bin Laden house, I don't know. Yeah, another gang shooting helicopters every night. I'm so tired of this place. It's unbelievable, man. I'm so tired of this place. Just bumping the freaking techno off. I moved here in this nice neighborhood. Freaking ridiculous. Brenda, shut that window, man. I can't hear anything. I'm trying to watch the TV. Hey, Brenda. Brenda. Trying to freaking watch Extreme Home Makeover, man. They're about to do the reveal. Close the window. They're bumping the techno, man. The reveal. The reveal. Gosh darn every time with the reveal. Hey, babe. Oprah is in delay because it's come from America and she about to talk to James Fry. About all the stuff that happened, man. The million little pieces. Remember? Million little pieces. Come on with the techno.

47:39It was like a freaking rave. So they finally decided on the way that they did it. And it turned out they picked right. So they got all this mission together. They take it to our president. And he's got to be like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do this. Yeah, what he said was, he said, I'll have an answer for you in the morning. And then the next morning he said, let's go. And they said, okay. And they went to do it, right? And they couldn't because the weather was bad. This was the day after the royals got married. Royals got married on Friday. Saturday, he says, go in. And they said, oh, we can't. Weather's bad. So they went Sunday instead. So what do those guys do when their mission gets canceled that day? Just hang out. Play in spades and just like. Hang out. Just have a couple drinks or they just. I'd be pacing for 18 straight. Can you imagine? You get all geared up and you're like, you guys want to play gin or? Dude. It's a little hard to wrap your mind around the fact that a.

48:42Not only a human being, but an American with about 100 pounds of gear on him looked into the face of Osama bin Laden holding an M4. Looked him in the face and drew his weapon. And in that moment said, you're about to die. I'm going to cap your ass right now. You're about to die. Train killers. And what I want to know, and I know the answer. I know the answer is no. I know the answer is no, but, you know, you want it to be yes. You know, where you think in that split second was 9-11 in your head. In that split second, you know, and they're so trained and they're so well. What's the, I want to know more than anything, what was the look on his face? Osama. What did that look like? Yeah, I know. Surprise. Deer in headlights. Deer in headlights. Deer in headlights.

49:39I play a lot of video games. I can tell you, he probably didn't even think about it for very long. You know, Jay, your video games are different. I know you think of yourself as a trained assassin because you play Call of Duty. It's real. Call of Warcraft? Call of Warcraft. World of Duty? It's real. World of Duty. When you and our promotions director, Adam, play World of Duty, do you cap people like that? Oh, yeah. Every once in a while, that little scream, because somebody will come around the corner, you're like, ah! You and a seal. It's the same thing. It's like looking in a mirror for you, I bet, in the morning. Yeah, I have to gear up, too. I have a lot of gear that I bring into the room. So listen to this story. Listen to this story coming out of San Francisco. San Francisco voters in November will be asked to weigh in on what was, until now, a private family matter. Male circumcision. You see, city election officials confirmed Wednesday that an initiative... that would ban the circumcision of males younger than 18 in San Francisco has received enough signatures to appear on the ballot. No way. That can't be. The practice would then become a misdemeanor. Holy cow. Supporters of the ban say that male circumcision is a form of genital mutilation that should not be forced on a young child.

51:12But opponents say such claims are alarmingly misleading and call the proposal a clear violation of constitutionally protected religious freedoms. The initiative's backers say its progress is the biggest success story to date of a decades-old nationwide movement to end circumcision of male infants in the United States. Now, you know where I come from. I lean right and conservative. This is certainly left and liberal. And this is what I think is so interesting about it. It's a side of the political spectrum that really demands tolerance. Yet, they want to push this so far down my throat. It makes me insane. The whole thing makes me goofy.

52:20It's a pushing. I mean, talk about pushing your views. I can't circumcise my kid. What? I got to drive to San Jose if I want to get my kids circumcised. That's insanity. You're going to tell the government's going to tell me what I do with my child's foreskin. Who's the guy that champions that cause that's sitting around the house and is like. something's got to be done about this foreskin thing. I got to get out there and do, I got to like, I got to be the guy, babe. I got to be the guy that goes out and gets this thing done. Yeah. She's like, can't you just play fantasy football like your friends? Right. Like you're out there carrying the flag for foreskin and circumcision. Oh boy. Maybe we just buy a new grill, build a new deck, get a hobby. There is a very upset woman on the phone.

53:19that would like to talk to me because she believes that it's mutilation. Oh, boy. Well, we will do that next. 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Are sold out. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets.

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1:01:19Hey, gang, it's Woodsy once again for NutriShop. I got to tell you, I visited those guys, and they've put me on a program. They're going to get me off all the donuts, the fast food, and I'm going to lose weight, and I'm going to feel better. And it's already started. They've got me on the Contour Elite stack. I'm on a cleanse, a fat burner, and a nighttime fat burner. This thing has been dynamite. Get over to NutriShop. They're going to custom make a plan for you. They are located in Eastlake or in Mission Valley. Get in there and start getting results today. Tell them Woodsy sent you. Call REI store or REI.com May 20th through the 30th for the REI anniversary sale and save up to 30% on great summer gear and clothing. REI. Find out. Auto Glass Center. Now offering new windshields starting at $99 and $34.99 chip repair with lifetime warranty. 5955 Mira Mesa Boulevard. Fast and convenient same-day service with the lowest prices guaranteed. Auto Glass Center. 858-216-4300. That's 858-216-4300. This report, it's brought to you by News 8. It's a showdown with Red John on the two-hour season finale of The Medalist, tonight at 10 on CBS 8, followed by News 8 at 11. On the 805 northbound at Mesa College Drive, we do have an earlier accident that was there. They've cleared it, just a small backup over on that right shoulder. 15 southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway. It's stop and go this morning. Santee's got delays, too, on the 52 westbound. This is right between Mission Gorge Road and the 15. It's about 30 miles an hour.

1:02:44This report brought to you by Home Depot. The Home Depot's made a special buy. Select one quart perennials. They're now four for ten bucks. They're regionally grown. They'll give you a really colorful bang for your buck. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. He sees the word wonderful. Again. I'm 40. It's okay. Lauren. When I have to say smart things on the spot, I'm like... What? Your boy gets in the shower and I have very little hair and I have to condition, of course, because it smells so good and it feels so good when you condition. Sienna. Yes, I have big boobs. And Jake. So what if I like to surf every day? On FM 94.9. Wants to talk about the issue that's facing San Francisco voters about circumcision. She doesn't agree with me. People ever get irate or... It's true, Woods. Sienna, what's going on in news? Well, there's a new state law that takes effect July 1st. And if you have children that are in school, if they are between the grades of 7th through 12th,

1:04:02They have to have the whooping cough vaccination. This is a new law. It's a requirement. Between what age and what age? 7th grade and 12th grade. They have to show proof that they've had the whooping cough booster shot to attend class. Their new slogan is no proof, no school. So make sure your kids get that. They're estimating about 50% of students have not received the vaccination. So a lot of parents need to get the kids to the doctor. Also, remember the story I told you guys earlier this week? Over the weekend, an 83-year-old man was accused of shooting his... His wife in the gas lane, his 53-year-old wife, did end up dying. It was just such a sad story. Now, he, his name is Joseph Gautel. Apparently, he struck his wife, Deborah Gautel, his estranged wife, twice in the head and once in the arm. On Sunday, she was declared brain dead after she was rushed to the hospital following the shooting and was kept on life support so that her organs could be donated. Well, yesterday, he... pleaded not guilty, but the judge set bail at $1 million for him. Just such a sad story. Awful. Woods, what's going on in sports? Sports is brought to us today by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot.

1:05:09Get some. Yeah, well, the Padres lost their second in a row last night. Dustin Mosley dropped his third straight to the Milwaukee Brewers. And a friend of the Mikey Show, Mark Kotze, had a big night last night. He is a friend. Three for four with two RBIs. So I hate to see the Pods lose, but Mark Kotze is a pretty good dude. So good work, Mark. They're going to play again tonight. And LeBron James threw in 29 points and 10 rebounds as the Heat even their series with the Bulls in the Eastern Conference Finals, 85-75. In San Francisco, there is an issue that's going to be facing voters soon. And it is, should we outlaw circumcision? Now imagine you're having a kid, it's a boy, and you don't have a choice. They are not going to circumcise your boy. And the reason that they're not going to do it is because it's now a law. That's what they're trying to do. And they have enough signatures to have it appear on the ballot in San Francisco. They believe that male circumcision is a form of genital mutilation and that it shouldn't be forced on a young child, they say, which I think is a real goofy. Now, city government is telling me what I can do with my child.

1:06:27And my child's foreskin. That's insane to me. But M1 Julie from OB disagrees. I can't even believe. Hey, I'm on the air? Yes. I'm sorry. You know, I was just going to say, I can't believe people even consider mutilating their children before these kids can even talk. This is ridiculous that it's even a question. Isn't it odd and a little ironic that a woman is weighing in on a man's foreskin? I mean, I know that it's a child, but eventually going to grow to be a woman, or I mean a man. And, you know, you don't have one. I don't have one, but I have two sons that do. And I got to tell you, they would definitely miss having their foreskin. I mean, this is absolutely genital mutilation. I mean, what if it was a woman? What if little girl babies were getting circumcised like they do in, what is it, Africa? Yes, but they're not. Isn't that general mutilation? Why is there a different code for men? Because we're in a different culture. You have two boys? How old are your boys? How old are your boys? My oldest is 23, and his brother's 19. Okay. And they certainly are happy I never cut them off.

1:07:54They're happy. They say, so what's the deal? You guys, every once in a while, have a conversation about it. And they were like, hey, Mom, by the way, just wanted to, you know, since my birthday, acknowledge the fact that you did, in fact, keep my foreskin intact. And I wanted to thank you for the opportunity. High five. Happy Mother's Day. Thanks again for the foreskin. Yes. Fist bump, Mom. Give me a bump, Mom. Give me a bump. Mom. Absolutely. Fist bump. Happy foreskin day. That's what we call it. Yeah. Foreskin day. July 7th. Can I come over? Oh, wow. I love you. Well, here's the thing. You know, you don't... They're intact. You know what, though, Julie? You know what we're going to talk about all the time? You know what, though, Julie? Why, what? It's very... You know, when you're in a locker room situation, okay? You have enough to deal with. Unless you're Woods.

1:08:51But if you're me, allegedly, you have enough to deal with, okay? That's when I found out that they were like psyched because they would come back from the locker room. My oldest wasn't a softball or baseball team, softball first, you know. Anyway, he would be in the locker room and he would be ecstatic that he's the same, you know, he's the same as he was born. He's ecstatic. It's surreal. Mom. Mom, you'll never believe what happened today in the locker room. Yes, that's a boo-boo-zella. But, Julie, you had a choice. You had a choice whether or not to do that to your kids, and you chose not to. Right, but there's plenty of women out there. There's plenty of parents. There's plenty of misguided. But it's not.

1:10:04Yeah, what if it was our head? What if it was our hand? Okay, so you guys are just saying because society says so, you have to accept it? No, you have a choice. Because you're going to be uncomfortable in the locker room. Slavery was legal for a while, so should we all just accept that? No, but slavery... Okay, this is a good point. I'm glad L.O.B. brought that up because slavery is by and large an absolute violation of... Human rights. But you didn't see that for a while until it took people to stand up and fight for civil liberties. And now I'm not standing on a podium saying, like, let's outlaw circumcision, but I'm willing to hear the argument of why it is mutilation and what are the benefits of it. Let's say that we say that we can agree that it's mutilation, which is a strong word. Yes. It is a strong word. It's okay if you want to cut a piece of your body off. Well, wait, wait, wait. Maybe an infant. But wait. Go ahead. Now, here's your argument, though. Your argument is that the child doesn't have a choice, right? Well, yeah. And the fact that there's no hygienic, there's no medical reason to have a boy's foreskin. Well, we'll talk about that in a second. But wait, wait, wait. Let's back up, though.

1:11:31have any say in the matter, correct? That's part of my, that's not my entire argument. Okay, but is it in fact, is it part of your argument? Yes, it's part of my argument, counselor. Okay, all right, all right. And so, and so, and so the prosecution would like to ask, the prosecution would like to ask, if it is in fact your argument that it's a child and not an adult that's being able to make the decision, are you somehow trying to infer that this child should become an adult and then be given a choice? So adults do have a choice. What's that? Adults do have a choice. Okay, and are you saying, wait, wait, wait, Julie, are you saying that you think that this male should have the ability to grow to be 18 before he can make that choice for himself as an adult and that it shouldn't be forced on him? Oh, there's some gears turning. There's some gears. Well, how old do you have to be to get a tattoo or a piercing? 18. 18. So, again, I'm going to ask a question. So, again, I'm going to ask a question, Julie. Do you believe that this infant should grow to be an adult before they make the decision? That they should be given a choice? I don't know how old they need to be. Well, the legal age of adulthood, the legal age is 18. Right.

1:13:07My point was not so much that they need to be legal and they need to be able to vote before they can decide. I'm not talking about voting. I'm talking about choice. My point was that this infant can't even speak. And, you know, there's no, this baby has no concept of what's happening to him. Julie. What's right or what's wrong, what's okay, what's needed. Julie. I don't know that he needs to wait until he's 18. Julie. You know, if they can, you know, I think that each individual may be their own. You guys can ramble, but I can't. Julie. Touche. Listen, I apologize, but I cannot let you, I can't let you out of this. I can't. Julie. Excuse me. What? I find it ironic that you feel that they don't have a choice in the matter, but you want to make it so that I don't have a choice in the matter. All right, well, that's a... No, it's the same thing with abortion. I mean, it's not the same exact thing, but it...

1:14:30They do want to pass laws that women can't make that kind of choice. I mean, some people could consider that to be an infringement to say, well, it's my body as a woman, you know, and there is an argument for that. But the pro-life side of it comes down to... Why are we talking about abortion? Because you're saying the city is telling you choices that you can or cannot make. With your child. With your child. But yeah, I think... People are fighting for abortion laws to be completely, you know, strict and for abortion to be outlawed because of that very reason. We should be able to, you know, infringe upon people. Yeah, you can't make that kind of a choice. So it's, I mean, it's completely lowered, but the state should be able to step in and say what kind of choices we should make if they're harming people. Yeah, but we have proof that it isn't. Harmful. And is there any more, you know, if we were to follow your logic, is there anything more harmful than death? No. I mean, that's an extreme case, but there's abuse laws and there's other laws, you know what I mean? So I would, like I said, I'm not on the side of the fence that's like pro... Foreskin. Yeah. Then why are you wearing a t-shirt that says, in fact, it says in bright red letters, pro foreskin. I didn't have anything else to wear, okay? I got this at a rally I was at.

1:15:46I didn't know what it was for, but I'm just saying that. But LLB, that surprises me about you because you are all for making your own decisions. And you, when you have a child, given that option to cut or no cut, you have the option. You have the choice. Right. And I would just like to see, that's what I'm saying. If there is a strong argument that it is painful or that it's unnecessary, like we're all just accepting that. Kids should be circumcised because that's what happened to my father and your father. But I don't remember mine. You know what I mean? I don't remember mine. It doesn't mean it didn't have some sort of effect on you. I was there for both my sons when they had it done. It is brutal and it is barbaric. Yeah, they don't remember it. I remember it. You remember yours. Oh, and that kid is screaming theirs. Oh, I don't remember mine. They might not remember you slapping up upside the head as well as a baby, but just because they don't remember it doesn't mean it doesn't inflict pain. I would never do it again. Really? No. But you did it twice. I did it twice.

1:16:44Is it so accepted? Of course it's accepted. Isn't it a cleanliness thing? It's clean. It's clean, man. You're screaming at the top of your lungs. You're screaming, Julie. Go ahead, Julie. I was going to answer the point you made a while ago as far as limiting people's right to choose. and how I would, deciding that dissecting a baby's penis is illegal is actually opening the choice for the baby, for the actual being that's happening to. What I advocate is limiting that decision of the parent. Yeah, you want to take away my rights as a parent. Right. I want to take your rights as a parent to harm your child. Is child abuse... Child abuse. So circumcision, in your view, is child abuse. What if you wanted to cut off other parts of your body? But you don't. You want to cut off the foreskin. I don't. I want to cut off the foreskin. I don't want to cut off her. It's gross. Because you wouldn't do that. It's cleaner. It's cleaner. Unless, of course...

1:18:04It was our culture to cut off part of the ear. And then I would be okay with somebody deciding to do that as long as it didn't cause irreparable harm to said person, which, by the way, in some cultures they do. And that's okay. That's their choice. But you can't always just accept it. Because the culture says so. Like I said, it should be a choice. But I'm saying women wouldn't be able to vote. We might still have slavery. There's a lot of things that we were very acceptable as a culture. Right. But LOB, those things that you're talking about are things that are innate human rights. Right. And she's saying it's a human right to be able to keep part of your body without your parent deciding to chop it off at birth. Okay. If that is correct, though, then that means that you're taking away. My choice. But she's saying it shouldn't be the parent's choice. It should be an individual's choice if you want to cut off or mutilate part of your body. M1 Papa Driz from San Diego. Good morning, Mikey Show. Good morning. My point when I originally called in was the fact that I don't remember if it was on this station or the other station that when this had been discussed before, the only people that had called in that were gunning for this kind of law.

1:19:20We're women. I don't understand. Women feel very strongly about circumcision. Right, but I don't understand why they feel like they can push that on the whole society when, one, they don't know what it's like to have it, or one, they don't know what it's like to not have it. Like, the reason that my family did it, the reason that I will do it to my sons, is it is a religious belief. I mean, I don't want to go too far into that because of what everybody else believes on that situation, but it is a religious decision. It wasn't religious for me. For me, it was like, you know, I was, that's what all my brothers. It's a normalcy thing. I don't know one guy that has been circumcised that is like bummed out about it. He's like so glad that he is. Yeah. I agree with him. I knew someone that wasn't circumcised and he was embarrassed. I agree with both of those statements. Wow. You know, I know the guys, the kids that I know. Your sons. Your sons. Thanks for the foreskin, Mom. Hey, the entire United Kingdom doesn't get their boys' penises cut off. We're not in the United Kingdom. I can attest to that because I've been with many of the United Kingdoms. Soccer team, Manchester.

1:20:32Hey, LLB's landed at the UK. But I mean, I don't understand why it's so ironic. Sign me up for that. Why is it ironic that women are weighing in on this? Men weigh in on abortion. That's true. Men do. It becomes a civil liberties thing. Because that's about life or death. This is about a foreskin. Okay. Well, men weigh in on a lot of things that they don't have. And she believes, or women, that... feel strongly about this. This is their child. This is a human being that's being affected. Not men or women, or man or woman. It's a human being that's being affected. It's their baby boy. When they're infants, they're really strongly, we're really strongly connected to that baby. I mean, this is somebody that is just, you know, freshly out of the womb. You know, he's being mutilated. I can't tell which voice it is. Who's the guy that said that he saw the circumcision and it was brutal? It was me. It was Jay. Oh, it was hideous. It was so hideous he did it twice. It was a long time in between. I wasn't there. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to...

1:21:40You know, experience the crying and all that. So you want to be a part of it, but you just don't want to see it. Of course. Exactly. And or hear it. Wow. Or hear it. Much like childbirth in my case, I think, would be the same. I didn't want to. Wait. Now, why is that wrong, Jay? Because if you're going to stand for something, you should be able to be present for it. Why? What do you mean why? It's your baby. You're not going to be there as a. As a part of what's going on? You believe in it so much that you won't even be in the room when it's going on? I believe in it so much, but I don't believe in being there while they're crying and doing all that stuff. You're not an assistant in the surgery. Is it unbearable for you? Yes. Well, then shouldn't it be unbearable for him? Unbearable for the child as well. I'm sure that it hurts really bad. Now, I can't tell you with certainty, even though it happened to me. Which means none of us guys remember. We don't remember. I mean, we can all attest to that. Unless, of course, Jay remembers the day that they did it. Just because you don't remember the event doesn't mean it doesn't affect you. So let's just get rid of all believability. Let's say that the baby has a choice. Do you think that the baby would make the choice to have it done? Probably not because it would hurt. Yeah.

1:22:59Well, sometimes you've got to make decisions for your kids. But when he's eight and in the shower, in the locker room with everyone else, he's probably going to be like, dang, my parents, why didn't they get it done? He can go get it done. Yeah, I wish my parents wouldn't have done it. What? That's insane. Then why'd you do it for your son? It's hard to make my love making better, but I really think foreskin could make it a little bit better. That's what I'm saying. I think. Well, Julie, the next Foreskin Day, please, you know, wish your sons. And invite me over. I'll bring a cake, maybe a bun cake. There you go. Thank you for the call. Wow. Oh, my goodness. That's crazy. Oh, my goodness. Foreskin Day. Well, let me tell you, it goes from controversial to even more controversial. Oh, boy. Wait until we talk about what was in Sienna's recap. Something that happened at La Jolla High School. Now, I can almost guarantee you, you are going to be on one side of this fence or the other. You're either going to think it's a great idea or a horrible idea. And we'll talk about it next. On FM 94.9.

1:24:52at tastepoints.com today. California residents 21 or older. Boyd will create a limited time promotion. Lawfare begins 5.11 and then 731.11. Full terms and conditions at tastepoints.com. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Great beer, great responsibility. After a season of unbelievable talent. That is some American Idol stuff right there. The moment has finally arrived. Who's it going to be in the finale? Fox Thursday. Be there as the final two Idol contestants are revealed. Live! Then, it's the season finale of Bones, when Booth and Bones go undercover. I love undercover. Angela goes into labor. It's showtime! And the biggest ending in... The Bones ending is so juicy, Fox won't let us give it away. But trust us, it's huge. It's the season finale of Bones, right after American Idol. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then... Free Gas makes you dance.

1:26:05Pump it free with Fox 5 Free Gas. Yep, free gas. Just watch Fox 5 News at 10 every night. Scan the code or go online for your chance to win a $100 gas card. Fox 5 Free Gas, tonight after Fox on Fox 5 San Diego. Dear Lunch Thief, I hope you enjoyed my turkey sandwich. I don't blame you for taking it. After all, it was made from boar's head oven gold turkey. It's the best money can buy. How could you see it sitting in the fridge and not be tempted? It's not like it was some cheap turkey from a sandwich chain packed with preservatives, fat, and fillers like seaweed extract. You may be a thief, but clearly you have standards. Tomorrow, I'll be putting another oven gold turkey sandwich in the fridge. I know it's hard to resist. Perhaps your mother never gave you good turkey as a child. I feel for you. But if you ever touch my slow-roasted boar's head oven gold again, I swear I will hunt you down and teach you a whole new meaning to lunch break. Have a great day. A great sandwich needs protecting. Boar's Head Oven Gold Turkey. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boar's Head Premium Deli Meats and Cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. Make your weekends even hotter at SeaWorld with Viva La Musica this Saturday and Sunday.

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1:29:06interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friend. Tacos is proud to be a sponsor for this year's Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. At the concert tour in North County, Los Tacos is the place to enjoy Mexican food with the freshest ingredients. Just one bite, and you'll be hooked. Well, our morning just got pretty busy. This report brought to you by Allstate. Tornadoes, wildfires, ice storms. No matter what happens, Allstate is there to protect their customers. You're in good hands with Allstate. Ooh, the freeways got busy. 15 northbound before the 52, a three-car crash there on the 15 southbound before Adams Avenue. Some kind of object straddling the two middle lanes. It's not a person. It's an object. College Avenue westbound ramp to the 8. It's a multi-vehicle crash here. Three of them on the right shoulder. Debris all across lanes. Then we have a problem at Miramar Way, Kearney Villa Road. It's an accident, a crash involving a motorcycle. Traffic is at a standstill on Miramar Way. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers.

1:30:13Toyota owners, Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird from Bird's Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Thursday morning being brought to you by Manufacturing Stove. World premiere this Saturday at the shed, but it's sold out. Not to worry, Sunday's show is open, so come on by, check it out. Surf-wise today, we've got some. It's in the cleanup mode. Southwesterly swells filling in quickly on top of some northwesterly windswell. Size-wise in that chest shoulder high zone, some larger sets to be sure, but still pretty discombobulated from all the winds and stormy weather that we went through yesterday as well as a negative low tide earlier this morning. Pick and choose corners can be found, however, in selective areas. Beach breaks probably. We're a little bit walled up now. They can only get better as the tide fills in throughout the day. And the reef breaks have a couple hot shots here and there as well. Mostly clear skies right now. Looks like that storm front has passed. And cleaning winds, so it can only get better. We're up to the minute. Surf reports and forecasts. Go to surfline.com. And this Saturday or Sunday, stop by and check out the world premiere of manufacturing stoke at the shed. Surf report can only be heard three times daily. We're right here on FM 94.9.

1:31:39This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. We're all right, I guess. I refuse to be a conspiracy theorist. I scoured my house for anything gold that I could maybe just pawn. I don't have anything. Woods. I'll eat a bag of cotton. Sienna. I have a hard time going to sleep. And so I've been to numerous doctors. Finally, I was like, that's it. Someone told me I should get hypnotized. And so I was like, I'm all in. And Jay. I am an okay surfer. On FM 94.9. When Sienna told me this story, I'm telling you the truth. I thought I completely misunderstood it. And at one point, halfway through it, I go, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Light bulb. Light bulb. And I go, are you saying? this? And she said, yeah. Yes. And I tripped out. I couldn't believe it. Okay. So your sister...

1:32:49Which sister? My sister, Avalon, is a senior at La Jolla High. Do you want me to tell her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Prom is coming up, so La Jolla High took a very drastic approach to get the kids' attention. This happened on Tuesday. My sister went to school, normal day, is in her first period class, and a police officer walks in and makes an announcement, a very startling announcement, and says that one of the students that attend La Jolla High School, who actually lives a couple doors away from my sister, Died in a drunk driving accident the night before. A police officer dressed in full apparel, which obviously got the kids' attention. Well, of course. And caused people to cry and be upset. And it was, you know, an awful first period. And, you know, it was just very sad. And then he left. Right. Second period, she goes to her next class. Another police officer comes in and makes the same announcement that another student at La Jolla High says their name was killed in a drunk driving accident last night. And so now the kids are like. What's going on? Two kids were killed? Now, let me pause you there, because when you were telling me that story yesterday, what I thought you meant was that they came in with a name of a student that... Like a fake name.

1:33:57two fake students that didn't exist. No, but they are students that are seniors at La Jolla High School right now and were not in school. They weren't there. And so these kids are thinking, oh my gosh, these two students were killed. This is awful. And last week, they're actually... It would be as if they walked in and said Steve Woods was killed in a car accident. Right. As a police officer came in today, you were gone and they said Steve Woods was killed in an accident. And we would be like, I mean, devastated. We didn't see you. Oh my gosh, they were killed. Would you? And so, stop it. And so these kids at La Jolla High are just like, oh my gosh, these two people are dead. However, when they made the second announcement during second period. My sister said, I knew something was up. And then a few minutes later, there was an announcement over the loudspeakers that said all juniors and seniors must report to Fay Avenue, which is the street right above La Jolla High School. It's a public street, and they had bleachers set up on the street. They closed the street down so the public couldn't use it, and they had demonstrations of car wrecks.

1:35:00smashed cars and the two names that they said of the students that were killed had white face paint on. They were there and they were sprawled over the cars as if they had flown through the windshield and as if they were died. And that was the scene of the crime right there. There was like fake blood, I think my sister said. And it was just you walk out and you're like, oh, my God, the windshields were destroyed, destroyed. And it was made to look as they went through the windshield. Yes. Exactly. And even one of the parents who, quote unquote, was killed, you know, so they said, came down and spoke to all the students as if her child was actually killed and said, you know, it was awful being a parent and finding out that she was killed because of a drunk driver. You know, all of this stuff. And the reason that La Jolla High School did this was to get the kids attention because prom is coming up and to let them see the seriousness of life and death when it comes to drinking and driving. And feel it. And feel it. Feel the seriousness. And see it firsthand. And they felt it. That's the difference. They thought one of Avalon's best friends, Marley's name, was submitted. And here's the thing. Marley and the other kid, I forget his name, Peter, I think.

1:36:12signed up at the beginning of the year to be a part of this demonstration and were sworn to secrecy that they could not tell a soul that this was happening. And no one knew that this was happening. No one knew anything. And Marley and the other kid were actually put in a hotel the night before so that no one saw them and everyone believed they were dead. Wow. They did it at my school, but they just did the cars. They brought cars. I've heard of that. They brought the cars to the front of the school. We all went out senior year for an assembly. And we looked at these cars. And they were actual cars from a drunk driving accident. And we looked at them. We're like, all right. Back to school. I mean, literally, it didn't have much effect on us. They were outside on a closed street. Public street was completely shut down for an hour in the rain watching this. Here's my take on it. The thing that upsets me is. You have kids that come from all sorts of different psychological backgrounds. Yeah. You have kids that are in all sorts of psychological places. You may have some kids that are depressed. And when you lie to them and you tell them that a friend is dead, I think you can jack them up upstairs. You know, I think you can jack them up upstairs pretty good. All based on a lie. Now, the question is.

1:37:36Is it effective? Probably. Probably effective. But my issue is that it's effective, I believe, at a couple of things. A, it's effective at getting kids to see the seriousness of drunk driving. But it's also effective, I think, at screwing some kids up upstairs. And I also think that there's more than one way to skin a cat. And so if your idea is to teach kids. how tragic drinking and driving can be, there are various ways to do it. Maybe you have an actual mother of someone who lost a kid to drunk driving. Come in and talk to the kids. I agree with you in spirit. However, when I heard that, it was very powerful. Now, listen, I've had some trouble in my past. Had I seen something like that? Who's to know? Had I felt what that felt like?

1:38:37You know, losing a friend to that, a friend, something that I know. Of course, you read stories and you don't know these people. But man, to feel what it felt like to lose a friend to a drunk driver, a good friend, I don't know. Maybe things would have been different for me. Maybe, maybe. I mean, I've been to what they call a victim impact panel where you listen to stories. I've been to those, court order, but I've been to them. And it's tough. It's real, real tough. That one that they did, I've never heard of anything like that. And I'm fully supportive. And I guess here's my other thought on it is, okay, well, are you experiencing tremendous success with this program? In other words, there are no drinking and driving cases or significantly different than in counties that don't implement this. I don't know. Is there statistical data to back it up? Even if it just stops one person. Yeah. I mean, throw out the data. If it stops one person or one kid and one kid goes, hey, wow, you know, that was pretty impactful. Man, what did it feel like to lose that friend? But how do we know that it stopped one person? You don't. You don't. We don't know that. You don't. We don't know that. One way we would know is by not doing it and doing it the other way. Having the person come in who's lost a child and talk to the kids. And same bit. I mean, if you do that.

1:40:02It's the same thing. You could be saving a life. You could be saving two, three, four. You've talked to a group of kids. You know how hard it is to get their attention in high school? Absolutely. They hate you. Absolutely. And you lose them in the next first five minutes and they're already doing something else. Okay. You do this and guaranteed everyone at that school is talking about it. They feel it. They feel the loss. That's the hard part. This is what I remember in high school. Not everybody's going to know that person. And so. Do you think that there was any clowning around that was going on after it too? Oh, probably. Probably. And so, you know, my take is, yes, some kids are, you know, I don't like speaking to high school kids most of the time. And the reason is because they haven't developed that social thing yet that says, oh, I shouldn't fall asleep while dude's talking. They haven't developed that yet. And so sometimes I'll be talking to high school kids and I'm like, and then I was sexually abused. Whereas when you talk to adults, you still see it, but it's less than when you talk to high school kids. So I understand what Jay is saying, but I also think that there's something to be said for, you know, like.

1:41:32Well, check it out. High school is such a closed community. Thank you. My high school, it was giant. Three guys died my senior year drunk driving. Actually, I only knew one of them really well. He drove off the road. The two guys were in the back of the truck, flew out, and died. I didn't know the two guys, but it didn't affect me any less. I knew exactly what was going on. I knew the one guy, and it killed the whole school. I mean, literally what they had in an hour's time went on for a year. Did you ever drink and drive after that? I thought about it a lot more. Okay. But you still did it. Well, I still did it. I mean, you know, the punishments. I mean, dude, speaking from experience, my God, I've been through the ringer with that stuff. And, like, you got to learn. one way or the other, and if that teaches them early, I'm all for it. What do you think, M1s? 570-1949. I want to get M1 Nation's take on this. There's one more part that I didn't tell you guys, too, is they actually had a memorial for them at the school the next day. Even when the kids knew that they were alive, they actually went through with a memorial as if, look, this is how this part's going to go, too, if you drink and drive. Macabre. I mean, it sounds so creepy. So is dying from a drunk drive? Yes, but I, you know...

1:42:48Would you be opposed to it if your three boys, Jake, Luke, and Ryan all went there and they came home and they're like, hey, Pop, check this out. Would you be like, what? What if one of them wasn't really mentally capable of grasping what went down? Grasping it and it really jacked them. What's it going to do to them? Jack them up. Any more than losing a friend from a drunk driving accident? Well, yeah, but one we're insuring. One, we're ensuring by doing this. The other one, we don't know that they'll lose somebody in a drunk driving accident. We don't know that. But what we do know for sure is that we are going to subject them to this trauma. We're going to mess with their minds in this regard. And listen, make no mistake about it. It's psychological trauma. Now, we think it's for a reason. We have a reason that we're doing the trauma. They're this fragile? Good luck in living your life. Hey, listen. I mean. This is just like a small blip on the radar. If things come your way, you might as well get ready for some rehab. My thought is, is that I'm going to experience trauma in my life enough naturally. I don't necessarily need you to purposefully plan out some trauma for me. Wow. So we're going to have to make this world a pansy place for, I mean, I would say if you're going to, you got to lay it out like it's going to be, this is going to be a rough life. You might as well buckle up.

1:44:14That's all right. Life sucks. Get a helmet. Yeah. M1 Ashley from Claremont. Are you there? Hi, I'm here. How you doing? Good. How are you? Good. Go ahead. Okay. So I graduated from Madison in 2008, and that year they do the same thing every two years. And we had a girl die from a drunk driver, and there's five people in the car, and she was the only one that died. And it's a huge... It was a huge impact on the school, and they do it a little differently. They go into class, and there's about 10 or 15 students, and they read obituaries. Oh, wow. Yeah, they read an actual obituary, and they do the whole car scene, and they actually have like a helicopter come and lift them away, take people to the mortuary, and have people in the hospital. And the next day, out in the... During lunch, they have a huge funeral for all of them. Wow. Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, that's heavy duty. You better brace yourself because it sounds like this is how things are going to be, you know, when your kids are in high school. Well, yeah. I mean, and listen, I'm not, I mean, obviously, I don't want my boys to drink and drive. I don't want that. I don't want my boys to die. And I don't want, you know, we all can agree on that. Yeah. You know, I guess it's just, well, how do we get there?

1:45:38You know, and the brain trust got together and they said, I got it. I got it. What we do is we smear blood all over the cars and we make it look like they crashed through the windshield and it'll scare them so bad they won't drink and drive. A lot of kids think this isn't going to happen to me. A lot of people think this isn't going to happen to me. And that's what these police officers and school employees are trying to do is shake them and say, this could happen to you. And look, it could happen to your best friend. Literally. What I'm about to say is literal. So literally, at the end of the day, they didn't lose anybody. So the idea is these kids have not experienced losing someone. Well, they still haven't. At the end of the day, they still haven't. But for one hour, they felt like it. For one hour, you kicked them in the gut. And then at the end of the day, they didn't lose anybody. Which is the bonus round. You got to feel. what it's like to lose a friend, but at the end of it, it all came back to square one. You've been given an opportunity. You've got to go back in time. Yeah. Now, I've got to put myself in a kid. Okay? So I'm traumatized, but then, surprise, it's not real. You got me. You got me. I'm so glad that Billy's still alive, man. He's my bro. Thought I lost Billy. He's still here. We're going to play a little Nintendo this weekend.

1:47:10And you know what? Billy and I were planning on getting some pops for the prom. But I'll tell you what, boy. That is out the window. I mean, that idea that we had. That schnapps. That bottle of schnapps that we had. That bottle of schnapps that we had. Screw that. Goldschlager? Maybe they just don't drive now. They'll get a limo. They're going to get a limo now. Yeah. There you go. It's not that they're not going to drink, it's just they're not going to drive. Yeah. I wonder, by the way, and I'm saying this, this is not rhetorical, I don't know the answer, but I wonder what they do more. Do they get limos or do they drive themselves? Get limos, buses, party buses. That's what they do. Maybe that's why they're doing it. Dude, I got to tell you, I drove to my senior prom. Did you drink? Absolutely. Fresh Bud Light tall boy between my legs on the way. And? You saw a wrecked up car. Yeah, I did. Now, this is flawed thinking. I'm just saying, probably. Probably. Wouldn't have made a difference. You know, I don't know. It's not a reason to not do it. It's not a reason to not do it. I have an underage son that drinks, and I don't like it. But when he does, he doesn't drive.

1:48:43Congrats. Well, as far as I know. Well, I don't know, but I'm saying he's gone through all the stuff that we're talking about and he's taken it to heart. My parents were the same as Jay. Well, yeah. Mine too. I mean, he's over 18. They're going to do it. Now, has he seen this demonstration? He's seen like the car, you know, they bring the car, the broken cars. The car's an old bit. Yeah, the car's an old bit. They were upping the ante with this one. You have to. He didn't see the... But you're saying that it doesn't work. Why even take the time to show him a car? Why take time to do this? It apparently worked on him. I have an idea. What if we were to take some makeup, okay? And, you know, we'll do this for when Jake turns, Jake and Luke and Ryan, my boys, when they're about 13, okay? What I'm going to do is I'm going to make Rebecca look like she's been beaten to a pulp, okay? And then when the boys walk in the door, I'll have Rebecca lay on the ground and I'll be like, and you better listen next time. And then they're like, oh my gosh. And Rebecca's like, oh, you know, I don't know. Oh my gosh. And I'm like, and you know, and I'm pretending to kick her and beat her up and everything. The kids are screaming. Oh my gosh. And I go, guys, guys, guys, hang on a minute. I want you to meet somebody. A cop walks in. He's like, boys, I want you to know.

1:50:12Domestic violence happens all the time. Now, if you think that was bad, your mom getting beat up this way, I just want you to know that this happens every single day. That could happen if you lose your temper. If you lose your temper and you beat up a woman, could be your mom, could be your sister. I just want you boys to remember that. Boy, you take some giant leaps. I know. You're the giant leap guy. Hey, listen. Yes. One of them is. you're showing death. The other one, you're showing somebody getting beat up. I think the death one is even crazier. The bigger leap. How about we take them down to the mortuary and we show how dad killed mom. And you go, this could happen, boys. If you lose your temper, this is what could happen. These bros are going to drive you crazy one day. But how prevalent is drunk driving amongst teenagers? Abuse is pretty prevalent. Domestic violence is prevalent.

1:51:16I would say the same thing. If you showed the person flying out of the car and glass breaking and their body's flying, it would be a comparison to what you're saying. You're not showing them dying. How about this, Jay? When you come out, you got makeup on? I put a mattress down on the second floor, and when they walk upstairs, I take her back. I'm like, hey, babe, I can't believe. Woo! You know what I mean? I mean, dude, it's crazy. I see your point, but I am in support of what they did because at the end of the day, it's traumatizing. It's trying to help. It got my sister's attention. Of course it did. That's all I know. And she's okay. She's a very stable, good kid. But she was like, like the first thing she said, you're not going to believe what they did at school. Yeah. They basically jacked our heads up real good. Yeah. Trying to save lives. In a good way, though. Yeah, just trying to save lives. Got her attention. Just trying to be dynamic, save lives in a dynamic way. Yes. Let's see. 570-1949. Take your calls because phone lines are blowing up about this. What do you think? 570-1949. A chance. Let's do it. More from the Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that.

1:52:53This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like Friday night, Aloe Black will be at the Belly Up, and Saturday night, System of a Down are playing Cricket Wireless. Transfers at the Casbah on the 27th. June 1st, it's Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra at Soma. And June 5th, the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, which is now sold out. Meat Puppets play the cast by June 14th. Matt and Kim in the Thermals are at House of Blues June 16th. And you can see a perfect circle at the Open Air Theater July 26th. July 30th is that big show, L.A. Rising, at the L.A. Coliseum with Rage Against the Machine, Muse, and Rise Against, just to name a few. Big Sonic Chill presents Sia at House of Blues August 11th. Death Cab for Cutie. Hit the Remack August 16th, 311, and Sublime with Rome. Play Cricket Wireless August 19th. And you can see Kings of Leon there on September 4th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com.

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2:01:30This report, it's brought to you by Jersey Mike Subs. Come to Jersey Mike Subs for a great deal. Help them support Susan G. Komen for the cure. And now when you download Jersey Mike's new online ordering app, you can win a gift card. Restrictions apply. Visit jerseymikes.com. Well, we've had kind of a busy morning all of a sudden on the 5 southbound after Lucadia Boulevard, an accident that was there earlier. They just cleared it. Both cars are drivable. Also, though, a College Avenue westbound rammed to the 8, a multi-vehicle crash here. Three cars, they're on the right shoulder waiting on tow trucks, but they're on the scene, so they should be hooking them up. We've got some delays out of Carlsbad on the 5 southbound between Cannon Road and Loma Santa Fe Drive. It is stop and go right now. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealers. Toyota dealerships, they've got a $24.95 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I think that my wife would say that I'm very kind. This tie-dye shirt.

2:02:38I got this from Target. Woods, Smoke Marlboro, String Budweiser, Ziena. Those are nutty bars? Yeah. Those are the best. And Jay. How about you let me raise my own kid? On FM 94.9. In case you're just tuning in, Woods gets me every time he does his Weiland impression. He dances like Weiland and you'd have to. Oh, gross. It's so weird, though. It's so. It's very graphic. Dead on. We were talking about a drunk driving demonstration done at La Jolla High School where they, you know, did this thing where they acted like a couple kids died in a drunk driving accident, complete with fake blood, crashed cars, the whole thing. And they tell the kids in school, they say, hey, they have an officer come in and say, you know, so-and-so, they use the person's name, is dead. And the kids freak out for an hour and then they go, I was just kidding. We're just kidding.

2:03:59So we're getting people to call about it. 570-1949. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Don't freak out, you guys. Oh, boy. You just lost me. I announced yesterday that Representative Gabrielle Giffords was having a skull surgery to replace a piece of her skull. We're covering nicely. Yeah, hopefully. Well, her husband by her bedside. No, he's actually in space right now. The commander of the network. Mark Kelly did make the announcement that her skull surgery yesterday went really, really well. He did? Yes. First hand encounter. Did he get a fax? There's no fax. There's no tweet, no Twitter on the space shuttle. He Skyped her. Maybe it was relayed to Mission Control. Oh. And then Mission Control said, hey, we just want you to know. And he was probably waiting for the nudity. Oh, I bet. I bet he was. I bet he was doing backflips in space. Yeah, I'm sure. No gravity. I heard he can get six in a row now without throwing up. Shut up. What? He's like, man, he is like, he's getting it. Just hang everywhere real good. Also, Jay, this is going to affect you and anyone who has the Android. About 99% of Android phones have leaked secret account credentials.

2:05:15Now, they're saying the weakness stems from the improper implementation of an authentication protocol known as client login. Can you tell them they can see my pictures? I guess they can, Jay. Yeah, they can see your calendar, contacts, other accounts as well. What about my texts? It depends. I call them sext. Oh. Can they see my sexts? Can they see the online groups I belong to? Can they see my message board? Can you see my chat room? Can they see my fake name? That's the only thing. Dubin64? Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. It affects the Android versions 2.3 and earlier, so if you have the newer one, you should be fine. Yeah. Somebody is getting dagger shot into the back of their head. Trust me.

2:06:24Yeah, like I don't take grief from you every day. Oh, it's going to get worse. How can it get any worse? What's going on in sports? Oh, my gosh. Well, I told you guys about the San Francisco Giants fan who was beaten by Dodger fans severely. He was in a coma. Yesterday, he opened his eyes and remains in critical condition. So he's at the San Francisco General Hospital, and he's been weaned off of one of his five anti-seizure medications. His name is Brian Stowe, and everybody's pulling for his recovery. The LAPD and Lamar Advertising have put up 300 billboards around L.A. County looking for leads to who beat this guy up for being a Giants fan. Oh, my gosh. Absolutely horrendous. And I wanted to tip my cap to Jake Peavy, who pitched here for a lot of years. Great, great pitcher. He's been hurt a lot since he got traded from the Padres. Guy went out last night, threw a complete game, won to nothing, shut out. So he's looking like he's back, and he was a great Padre, and he's a San Diego guy, and he lives here, and just a good dude, so congrats to him. Love Peavy. He's a great dude. 570-1949, where do people fall on this whole deal with the pretending to have a car accident? M1 Teresa from San Diego, what do you think?

2:07:40I went to high school 11 years ago and they did it when I was there. And we had a huge assembly after the big cracks and the traumatic experience where they had like mothers of mad come in and talk about their children that were killed. And it was really informative and super impactful. I just wanted to touch on the psychological piece. I just think that, you know, these are kids that are 17 and 18 years old and they're going to be going off into college in the real world. And I think to say that this is too much for them to handle is doing them a disservice. That's too much for me to handle. I'm 40. Listen, I mean, it doesn't matter the age. I mean, you know, I just think that it's, I don't think that you have to do this pretend somebody died to get a message across. You know, I mean, before they did the thing, I think these kids knew the same thing they know now. And I think that they were aware of it in the same way. They know what the consequences are. Yes, they felt it. But then they learned that it wasn't real. And so they didn't. And I don't know that it's going to really make them go, OK, well, I don't want to feel that again. I just, you know, that's one guy's opinion. If it does, if it does make a difference and you put a great point on it, it's hard to quantify that it will make a difference. Right. You can't. You can't quantify that it will work. I can't. I can't prove to you that it doesn't work.

2:09:05And you can't prove to me that it does. Yeah, that's the bottom line. Neither of us can. M1 John from Miramar. Hi, go ahead. You're on the air. I was just calling in about that. And it seems to me when I was a kid, they would have those kind of drunk driving things where they'd just have somebody come in and kind of tell their story and they had mad. And it just, when we were kids, everyone paid attention and it was, you know, this big story and it was traumatic. But I went to my nephew's class. and they were having the same kind of assembly, and kids just weren't paying attention. They were screwing around their phones or sleeping or goofing off in the back or even saying disrespectful stuff to the people on stage. It's a different kind of scenario now, and you have to make something traumatic to make any kind of impact on people. And regardless if it stops everyone from drinking and driving, they're going to think about that every time that people are talking about drinking and driving. It's going to at least pop into their head, regardless if it makes them not drink and drive every time. It's going to make an impact on what they think. All right. Well, I appreciate it, man. That's a good point he makes. Thank you, John. I blame Lady Gaga. Exactly. She raised the bar. Of course. MTV. M1. Patrick from Poway. Are you there? Yes, sir. Good morning. Good morning. Here's my situation here. Now, my son, you know, graduation, they got big alleged, you know, grad night and they're all going up to Disneyland. Okay.

2:10:32Why do you say alleged? It is going to happen, I think. Well, I mean, I'm saying the alleged as far as what they're going to be doing there. It's supposed to be a nice night out, but we all know what's going on. It's drugs, drugs, and drugs, bottom line. Is it? Do you guys know about this? No. My sister's going to grad night. Seniors go. The day they graduate and have their big ceremony, that night, all seniors are invited to go to Disneyland. And it's only seniors, and Disneyland is open the whole night for them. And it's seniors throughout Southern California, which is like, I mean, I went. It's a huge deal. And yeah, I mean, it's kind of a known thing that kids do drugs when they go there because you can't bring alcohol. So they hand you the drugs you get on the bus, right? Isn't that the way that it works? Yeah, what you get is like a little compact. Right. And it's got a few different choices. Yeah, so you can have some Panda White. Yeah. Bava. Bava. Which is heroin. That's just really from the Andes Mountains. And since it's a compact, you've got a mirror in which to snort it with. Correct. So what we're saying is that if kids go to Disneyland, they're going to do heroin. You get it on the bus. It's like three squares, a meal, a quaaludes. And a quaalude. Boys, this is for seniors only, though. Oh, boy. Well, I mean, M1 Patrick, I mean.

2:11:49Here's my situation. You know, I know what's going on, bottom line. But, you know, it's my son. You know, I want to trust him. He's had some, quote, issues in the past, okay? So would it be wrong for me to let him go and then drug test him when he comes home? How long ago in the past did he have issues? You know, not that long ago, but I think that's irrelevant. I mean, issues is issues. Well, the reason it's irrelevant to me is has he earned any of your trust back? Obviously not. He's going to drug test him. He wants to drug test him. So I guess he hasn't earned your trust back. I know what goes on. I've been there. I've done it. But am I wrong to say, okay, go have a good time. When you come home, I'm going to be waiting there with your test. Well, I mean...

2:12:46If you don't trust the kid, I don't know if the kid's earned the trust back. He hasn't, Mike, because he's going to drug test him. So you don't drug test the kid who you trust, right? Don't you? Yeah, but maybe the kid hasn't done anything wrong. He just doesn't trust him. Right. I just don't trust the whole situation. He's not a fan of the whole grad night bit and kids going to get high and partying at Disneyland. Correct. 100%. Because I know what goes on. I mean, you know what goes on. Let's face it. Well, I went to a barn for my grad night, so mine was a little different than doing drugs at Disneyland. That was crazy stuff. If your kid has a history of screwing up, it wasn't that long ago, and you don't trust him, and you tell him that you're going to give him a drug test, and he's under 18 and he lives with you, I don't think there's a problem with that. I mean, you do it, and if the kid didn't do anything wrong, what's the problem with peeing in a cup? He's not going to tell him about it before, though. What are you going to do when it comes back and it's positive? What are you going to do? Yeah, that would be afterwards, right? That is correct. You can't go to Disney again. Yeah. You can't graduate again. You're never going to grad night again, pal. There'll be no college for you. It's the last grad night for you, buddy. He can put him on lockdown until he leaves the house. True. But then, is your son going to college? He is. He is. Okay. The whole situation again. You know, trust. Where does the trust line go? And then the parenting. And, you know, issues from the past. Going to haunt me to the future. I mean, this is...

2:14:13Flipping and singing. Can you imagine this guy mad at you, by the way? Oh, my gosh. I cannot. I bet you can get real. Soprano-like on somebody. Hey, I got the results of your test bag. Yeah? So what? What you gonna do? Talking to me with that mouth? Yeah, I'm talking to you. So I went to Disneyland. I smoked half a germ. What you gonna do? Really? Yeah. You know what else? What? I got a report card. Yeah, don't worry about my report card. It says you've been missing some school. Yeah. For a week. Holy cow. Yeah, I'd be scared of that guy. Yeah. Do you tell him, though? Do you tell him, hey, man, go have a ball. You're going to get a drug test tomorrow morning, so use your head. Find a way to pass it. You don't tell them. It's scary, though, as a parent thinking your child is going to go on drugs when you're going down crazy rides on drugs. What if you fell out or something? That's what I think. By the time they're 18 or 17, you're done. In my world, you're done teaching them what you're going to teach them. Your bet is made. That 18 you're done teaching? Oh, I would say earlier than that. I'd think around... I'd say 7 or 8. Yeah, that's cut off.

2:15:29I mean, by seven or eight, I knew how to drive, make love, shoot a deer. My boy Jasper has been for himself. I've done it a few times. I left him out at Balboa Park. He finds his way home every time. I beat myself up for being a late bloomer. I mean, seven or eight. Come on, Jay. Come on, Jay. You're better than that. I wish I could take time back. Five, I had high hopes. One time we had a flat from here to Vegas. I surprised him. Halfway over the Salton Sea, I put a little tiny eight-year-old backpack on him, full of a parachute, kicked him right out of that Southwest flight. That little bugger showed back up. Me and Kim couldn't have been more proud. He walked into that lobby at Caesars, and that kid wanted to throw dice. That's right. He only got there 30 minutes after us. I said, boy, I thought you'd be here 20 minutes ago. You seen the movie 127 Hours? Jasper can survive $227. Absolutely. I'm sure he could. If the boy had to eat his own arm, he could. He would. He has. That's right. I have. It's prosthetic. Patrick, I don't have any problem with what you're going to do. And I think, you know, L.O.B.'s right. If it comes back that it's a dirty test, you know, you'll...

2:16:48Put him on lockdown. Are you paying for his school? I'm going to pay for it. You can also revoke that if he doesn't. No, that'd be great. So now he's got no education, living at home, on drugs. He can go to a community college. Yeah, happy birthday. Happy birthday, Jay. Just what? Yeah, come back with a dirty test. I'll send you off to school. Where do you want to go? You know what? Anyway. There's my checkbook. Yeah, there's my checkbook. Why don't you just give him the check? Well, we should just put him in prison then. I mean, come on. Let's just lock you up. That's extreme. Yeah. Listen, they're going to do drugs. If they're going to do it, get the finest quality. You did. You did. I did, but I didn't have any direction. Well, I had some direction, but, you know, I say that because I think my parents are listening. Even with direction, kids do stupid things. Good point. Do your kids still have rules to the day they move out of the house? Well, absolutely. They have rules, but... Drugs are fine. That's what I'm saying. I'm not saying drugs are fine. I'm saying that kids are going to do stupid things, and you can't... You can't control their every move. So you're not for the drug test then, Jay Bird? I don't think so, because what do you expect to achieve out of it? Oh, yeah. Caught you. Knowing if your kid's doing drugs. And then what are you going to do? Punish them. How? He's 18. Or he's 17, 18. What are you going to do? He's 17 and he's still living in your house. You could punish him. Yeah. You know what he's going to do? Go do some Panda White because you punished him. He's going to move out. It's China White. China White. You're missing the point. It's about respect.

2:18:12That's right. It's the rules. You're making a jokey joke. It's parenting his pup, and you've got to show them who's the boss and what the hell's going on. Angela! Hey, listen, to your defense, we are doing jokey joke, but I'm going to say this. Here's the rules for grad night. No, Aaron. I ain't joking about this time. All right. No, Aaron. Okay. Damn it. No hard liquor. All right. Beer is fine. What kind? Coors. No malt. Okay. All right. Nothing with gold specks in it. Okay. Some gold sluggers out. Out. Jaeger? No. Oh, that's hard stuff. Okay. All right, dad. All right, dad. All right. All right. All right. What's the matter with you? What about your moonshine? Moonshine's way out of the question. So you're telling me hallucinogenics and marijuana are okay. Ludes? Yeah. And ludes, too. Psychedelic mushrooms, lewds. Weed. Weed. Grass. If you do cocaine, get it from Columbia. Yeah. Make sure it's pure. You don't know what they're putting in that stuff. Hey, hey, hey. Forget it. I'm calling Julio. Because at least I know where it's coming from. I ain't going to let you go out and try to find your own dang coke. Kim! Where'd you put Julio's number? Can't find it. Go to Columbia.

2:19:36These kids don't learn anything. You can't teach kids anything these days. Patrick, good luck to you. Good luck. Yeah, thanks. Hey, I'm with you. Hey, Patrick, I'm with you. I say you do it. Test away. Yeah, you test away. And if it comes back dirty, you punish them. And the reason that you do it is, like you said, it's respect. And it's like, what's your wife say, by the way? You married? Forget about her. Oh, wow. Uh-oh. Consider her forgotten. Wow. My head's about to explode. Patrick, you should have a conversation with him and tell him your expectations before he goes. And tell him that you're hip to the whole thing that goes down at Disneyland. Don't try to trap him. Tell him, hey, man, I know what goes on down there. I don't want you doing that stuff. You've got to get your point out there and let him know that I don't want you doing it. That's what I'd do with my fake kid. I'd do that in a heartbeat. Woods. All right. I appreciate it, man. Thank you. Thank you. Don't say fake kid. Like when my fake kid turns 18 and wants to go to fake graduation after his fake grad night, I'm going to say, listen, fake little guy. Hey, that's enough of the jokey joke. You will. Don't do drugs. You will be a father. Will I? Yes. You will. A great father. To adopt a child.

2:20:57The mother decided that she wanted to keep the child. And now, as a coping mechanism, Woods makes light of it, which makes us extraordinarily uncomfortable when he does. And he refers to the child as his, quote, fake. kid. I'm just, it's like when L.O.B. talks about marriage, okay? We don't have that deal. Lauren's not married or engaged. I don't have a kid. I say, if I had a kid, he'd be a fake kid. Hypothetically. It's a hypothetical is what it is. I'm not even talking about that situation. You're going to have a child. She's going to be married. You guys. Not get carried away. Don't high-five. Like, you know, let's not count a bunch of chickens. Yeah, there's nothing hatching. All we have is a basket of eggs. Yes, I've got some in there. The eggs are getting fewer and fewer. Oh, wow. I have it burning in my loins right now. Okay, Lauren, but you can't, just because you do, it doesn't mean that you can necessarily say that. Longer than it's ever been. I'm not even sure what you mean, to be honest. I was out of line.

2:22:12Oh, babe, ooh. Listen, this is a mistake a lot of women make. They feel, oh, I say this to the man, he's going to do it. You can't just do that and Matt's going to hear it and then respond. What you need to do is be more mature about it than just saying, oh, babe, ooh, you know, on the radio. Yeah, sign me up for that. I just did. So, you know. Oh, wow. Has a girl or a woman other than your significant other ever farted in front of you and then tried to brush it off? So we're going light now. Well, it's a topic change. We're going very light. Well, I just got that as a text from M1 Vancouver. And so it reminded me of some stories. Perhaps you have some stories. 570-1949. On FM 94.9. 70 years ago.

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2:30:26Well, it looks like the 805 northbound after East Division Street, there's a multi-vehicle crash here. Three cars, they're over on the right shoulder in National City. Also on the 5 southbound after Via de la Valle, there's a disabled car. Somebody's still sitting in that car. The 125 northbound before the 8 two-car crash, it's blocking the number four lanes. And in Encinitas on the 5 southbound after La Costa Avenue, car is stuck. It's actually a truck. It's in the middle of lanes. They do have their hood up. This report brought to you by SeaWorld San Diego. Your weekends, they're about to get hot. with SeaWorld's Latin music festival, Viva La Musica. Happens this weekend on May 21st. Prince Royce and on May 22nd, El Gran Combo performed live at SeaWorld. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show. My team kicks ass. How come cupcakes are so great? They are. They're just fat. Lauren. If I had a hot tub, I'd be in there nude. Hot tub nude. Hot tub nude. Woods. I might have farted when I was thrusting. Sienna. You know, I like myself a glass of wine at night. And Jay. I don't like it when a spoon or a fork pitches with the one on the back teeth. On FM 94.9. Do I ever do that? Do you ever do that, my friend? My good friend, Mike. I apologize. There's a mouthful of bagels. Train wreck. Wow, it went from me playing a song.

2:32:04You're really on one today. You're tornadic. Oh, my goodness. Who's that? I came in here this morning, and the first words out of my mouth were, give me food. I think it's a raise. Yeah, I'll give you a dollar. Don't hate me. Well played. You gotta tip your cap sometimes. I gotta tip my cap. Brilliant. Who is that, by the way? Who's the song like? I know the song is Whiter Shade of Pale. Yeah. Steven Tyler? No. No idea. Sammy Hagar. No kidding? Playing with Neil Sean on guitar. I like it. In a band that they formed called H.S.A.S. Hagar. The sauce. It was H.S.A.S. It was Hagar...

2:33:19Sean. Hagar. Sean. Aronson. Aronson. And Shreve. Shreve. Hassass. Yeah, Hassass. It's ambitious. It's Hassass. Listen to that sweet Neil Sean guitar. That sounds great. Neil Sean from Journey and Sammy Hagar singing. I always like that song. M1 Rebecca from Kearney Mesa. What was the word of the day? It was napkin, Mikey. That is correct. We just got a couple of tickets to see Eddie Vedder at Copley Symphony Hall. So awesome. And a four-pack of tickets to see the fair. You're going to the fair with three of your friends, so hang on, okay? Okay, thank you. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. West Indian Girl. Gary. It's the album by the same name. West Indian Girl. So, apparently, Al-Qaeda is saying that they have released a Bin Laden audio recording. From before he died.

2:34:43From before he died. Yes, they're saying it was about a week before he died. And basically in the recording, Bin Laden is praising the revolutions taking place in a few Arab countries and called for the toppling of more of what he called tyrants in the Muslim world. It's going to be hard because we got a lot of information off his stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I made it on GarageBand. Put on Thumb Drive. Put on Thumb Drive. Set the freaking career. Right. It's tough because I have wireless set up in-house, but don't have internet, so what's the use? And I call my tech guy, but he's so freaking busy now. You know why? Because I endorse him. I talk about him, and everybody's like, oh, I want Bin Laden's guy. No, I can't get the guy to come to the house. I call him. I go, hey, Todd. And he goes, sorry. I'm slammed. And I go, how are you slammed? I'm the one that got you slammed in the first place, you know? I mean, I'm one of the originals, you know? I need you to come over and help. I need this. I got the new Apple TV. I got the wireless that I want to put in. I got the Belkin system. I want to put all of it together. Oh, and I need to make sure that it is 3.4 gigahertz because we have a baby monitor and it will interfere.

2:36:05So I need all this right away. So has a girl or woman other than your significant other ever farted in front of you? Tried to brush it off. Now what I mean by this is what I term the sneak attack. This is, it's a mistake. It's an accident. You know, didn't mean to happen. And the reason that it's so humorous, and we got this text from M1 Vancouver. And the reason it was so humorous to me is the, you know, a lot of times a guy does that. A guy is proud of it. Woods. Yeah, Woods. But a girl is not proud of it. And so if it does happen, she wants to brush it off as if it did not happen. And this happened to me one time. It was where I used to work. And it was somebody there. I was in the hallway and it was a bunch of us standing in the hallway and we were all laughing and we were also jumping. The thing that we were doing required us to be jumping. So we were laughing and jumping and she went and humiliating. Yeah. And I never discussed it with anyone. So I don't have confirmation that they heard it as well, but I heard it.

2:37:31And I knew where it came from. And I stayed quiet. Poker face. Poker face. I stayed. I wanted to maintain anonymity. You know, I, in this particular instance, decided that I was not going to be a rat. Not going to be a whistleblower. I'm not going to be a whistleblower. Not going to toot the horn. I'm not going to toot my horn. It had already been tooted. Yes. What was the point? M1 Selena from Oceanside had a really embarrassing thing happen, right? What happened? My boyfriend and I were getting ready to go to bed and we always pee with the door open. So I was going pee and I have this weird thing where I have to try to get every little drop of pee out before I can sleep. And so I was kind of like pushing it out and I farted.

2:38:32So loud, it echoed in the toilet right when he was walking by. Oh, wow. And you guys are still together? Yeah, we are. Oh, man. He's not deaf? Oh, I didn't mention? He's deaf. Oh, yeah, he's deaf. That's why we're still together. I would have packed the bag. Go to the motel soon. Stop it. I would have. Yeah, we don't want to believe. We don't want to think. That that happens. No. We certainly don't want to hear it. I would have packed the bag. It's not that bad. Come on. Stupid mistake. That's true. You don't, you know? I want to believe that they're dainty little flowers. Yes. Whoa. Gary Busey. Kelly Clarkson. Kerplunk. Georgia. M1. M1 Zoe from East County.

2:40:33Hi. Good morning. When the first time I introduced my boyfriend to my mom, I was 15 years old. He's now my husband. But my mom sat down on the couch right next to him and farted. Oh. On accident. I don't know because my mom does that a lot. Oh. Yeah. She butter cupped him real good. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. I'm going to do that on purpose. Hey, welcome to the family. You don't want to do that on purpose. How mortified were you? When... Oh, she's gone. Oh. Never mind. 5701949. Send me an email. You can imagine how mortified she was. I can imagine how mortified she was. Hi, Mom and Dad. This is my girlfriend, Rebecca. And your dad just... Nice to meet you. It's the accident ones that are the funny ones. Oh, yeah. Because they're not meant to... Be there. I had a girl who worked for me. We were picking up a piece of stage. Oh, my. Did she laugh? I almost dropped the stage. What'd she do? She had to change her pants. Oh. Oh. Taking it to a whole new level there, buddy. Oh, my gosh. How heavy was it? It was pretty heavy. Somebody had to tell her to change her pants. It was actually a... Oh, my gosh. All right, well, let's... I'll tell you what. Let's move on.

2:42:04Let's move on then. Yeah. You know, Jay is really, really something else. Oh, my God. Can I pull the curtain back? Sure. Think about yesterday's meeting. As usual, he did not disappoint. If you don't know, Jay, here's the rule. I like everybody to come to our meeting on Wednesday with about five ideas. Yeah. Jay comes with like 50. Yes. Because I'm a team player. Some other players don't deliver. Oh, boy. His batting average is low. His batting average is high. He swings a lot. Yes. Wait a minute. Can't help it if you guys are closed-minded. Oh, okay. He swings a lot. Yeah. But his ideas are either very, very morbidly sad. Yes. Or extraordinarily insensitive. Yes. Inappropriate.

2:43:07Or inappropriate. Perverted. Does that fall under? Or a black hole of perversion. Or very basic. Yes. Very basic. We get people online that have been to an ATM machine. Yeah. Hey, Mike, what about this? Have you ever broken up with someone? Do you have a birthday? All right. How about this one? Why don't we take calls? From people that are a sister of someone. Someone that has a parent. Someone that's been on a vacation in the last year. Somebody that is the opposite sex. Somebody that knows how to ride a bike. Bike riders. Have you ever crashed on a bike? Yeah. Ever fall off skinny knee? Have you ever been in a relationship? Yeah, go on. No, that's it. Have you ever been in a relationship? You ever make sex to a woman? That's one we can do. We get people on the line, women and men. Come on, ladies. Do you have eyebrows? All right. I know the answer's going to be no. But the most sexually experimental junior year.

2:44:28Okay, fine, Mike. Fine. I got it. Prude. People call in and define what the bases are. First base, second base, third base. That's good. That is good. But you can't use less than 100 words for each. Detail, Mike. Detail. For first base, got to be 100 words. About friendship. Yeah. And then by the time you get to home plate, home plate's got to be an essay. How about worst racial slur you've ever been called? Mikey, you start. How about just, hey, I was thinking, right now, with Bin Laden, racial things are in the news. Hot. What if we just do, what are your favorite racial slurs? How about racist jokes? Racist jokes. It'll evolve. Why don't you tell everybody your idea about the terrorists yesterday?

2:45:27Do you still have it? Yeah, I still have it. And I said, I'm not going to have him do him. What was the topic? It was top signs your baby is a terrorist. Your baby. There was a story about it. You know it's bad when Woods stays quiet. Yeah, my silence spoke volumes because I like every idea. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds good. We can do something with that. It's because you don't bring any. Ouch. I resent that. I resemble it. We've been meeting now for about a year and a half. Go ahead. Top signs. Yeah, let's hear this beaut. Here we go. Top signs that your baby is a terrorist. What? Every time you bear one of your breasts to feed him, he tries to behead you for your immodesty. Behead you. He read that one yesterday, and it was dead silence in the room, and he laughed. So hard.

2:46:31You know your baby's a terrorist if he keeps trying to fly his Fisher-Price airplane into everything. That's funny. Last night when you tried to feed him, he proclaimed, death to strain peas. He wanted to read these on the radio. The worst one. Which is, in essence, what he's doing now. But being serious. But being serious. And all of us be on board with it. He thought we'd all be like, death to strain peas. Wow, where do you get this? When you play hide and seek with him, you have to hire the Navy SEAL Team 6 to find him. What's a SEAL? SEAL. Like a window SEAL? Yes, but in the Navy. Like I have a window SEAL, but it's a civilian. A Navy SEAL is a military SEAL.

2:47:27I have a civilian seal, but then you have army seals, navy seals. Marine seals. Yeah, marine seals. Stem seals. Stem seals. Jail seals. Oh, wow. I love you, Jake. Ten seals. Used car seals. Ten seals. You got the seals department here. FM 949. Baby seals. He's going to freak out. One more. Give us a good one. Make us laugh. Let's see. That's hard to do. He chops the hands off your sister's Barbie after catching it driving. What's the matter with you people? I was joking. Don't you know a joke when you hear one? I do. That ain't one. That's not. Oh, my God. That was a legitimate idea. That was a, I brought this to the table, and I think they're going to dig this. When I don't say anything, you know it's awful. And I sat here like this. Staring at them. Just staring. Wood's staring. Mouth agape. Agape. Mouth agape. You know, you put it in your tea. It's agape. Agape. Blue agape. It's delicious.

2:48:59Well, there he is. I love the guy. He is a legend. He is. Just a legend. 5701949 is the number. Just want to let people know that the CDC is warning people to be prepared for a zombie apocalypse. Are you guys ready? I thought you said the CDC. Yeah, that's what it is. The CDC? CDC. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, yeah. They're warning against a... Zombie apocalypse? Yes. Now, they know that it seems kind of ridiculous, but they said, you know what? You should have an emergency kit in your house just in case. Now, in the emergency kit for the zombie apocalypse, you're going to want things like this. Water, food, other supplies to get you through the first couple days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp. Now, you want to have medications, duct tape, battery-powered radio, clothes. copies of important documents, and first aid supplies. You also want to sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. What is that zombie doing? Aid supplies? First aid. Oh. Yeah, why would you need them? They have AIDS? No. That's why it's... They're zombies. Oh, okay. They're dead. That is the weirdest thing. Maybe that's how they died.

2:50:23Are you ridiculous? They're zombies. Maybe the AIDS is how they died. Don't be ridiculous. They're zombies. That list was terrible. It was from the Centers for Disease Control. I don't know why you wrote lists. They're all terrible. You have two days to get that zombie kit. Get ready. Hurry up. Two days, they say. The billboards say is the end of the world. That's dumb. Lady Gaga was thrown into a trash can when she was growing up, which is sad, I think. Maybe it was a reason that she, you know, became Lady Gaga. Life imitating art? What do you mean? I don't know. I don't know. I thought it worked. Okay. Kind of did. Kind of. She's kind of trashy. Are you saying I'm trash? Yeah, I'm saying you're trashy a little bit. That's really clever. Actually, I should have said art imitating life then. Oh. Take a listen. When I was in school, in high school, I remember once some of the girls from my class, they were hanging out with some boys that I knew also. And I went to meet some friends for some pizza that were at the same pizzeria. And the boys picked me up and threw me in the trash can on the street, on the corner of my block while all the other girls from the school were leaving and could see me.

2:51:59in the trash. And everybody was laughing and I was even laughing. I always had that nervous giggle. And I just remember like holding back the tears and lip quivering and don't let them see you. And I remember even one of the girls looking at me like, are you about to cry? You're pathetic. So it felt like you're pathetic. Wow, that's very sad. And it's wrong. And it's too bad that somebody couldn't have gotten a hold of her then. And loved on her. Because I think she went the wrong way. Well, the good thing, Mike, is I became close friends with Oscar the Grouch after that incident. Lady Gaga, you're telling me that in that trash can, you met Oscar the Grouch.

2:53:04Yeah, I call him Aski now. Because you guys have known each other. Yeah, he introduced me to Snapple Up, I guess, and The Count. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. It was a good time. Lady Gaga. Things have really changed for her, though, because now she's just been named number one on Forbes' annual Celebrity 100 list, being the most powerful person in the entertainment business. Wow. She surpassed Oprah. Yeah. Let's play some TomTom tunes. 570-1949. You want to play TomTom tunes? All you have to do is decipher what TomTomgirl is saying in these lyrics. I'm going to read you some lyrics of some songs and you've got to tell us what they are. God, it's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Perform the FM 94.9 stage. Tickets are sold out.

2:54:56Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam, Coastal Invasion, presented by Triple Hops, Rude Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubby's and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. We know you want ultimate performance and ultimate fuel efficiency. So now BMW Encinitas is making it easier to drive a new BMW. Now you can lease a new 2011 535i sedan with the ultimate MPG, 30 highway miles per gallon for just... $579 a month plus tax. And with BMW picking up your first four years or 50,000 miles maintenance, you'll save thousands over the life of your BMW. Going on now at BMW Encinitas. Get the ultimate savings and ultimate fuel efficiency. A 535i with 30 miles per gallon for just $579 a month. BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or visit us online at bmwencinitas.com.

2:56:04After a season of unbelievable talent, the moment has finally arrived. Who's it going to be in the finale? Fox Thursday. Be there as the final two idle contestants are revealed live then. It's the season finale of Bones, when Booth and Bones go undercover. I love undercover. Angela goes into labor. It's showtime! And the biggest ending in... The Bones ending is so juicy, Fox won't let us give it away. But trust us, it's huge. It's the season finale of Bones, right after American Idol. All new tonight, starting at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Then... Free Gas makes you dance. Pump it free with Fox 5 Free Gas. Yep, free gas. Just watch Fox 5 News at 10 every night. Scan the code or go online for your chance to win a $100 gas card. Fox 5 Free Gas, tonight after Fox on Fox 5 San Diego. So I'm at the theater with my mom and sister, who somehow convinced me to see the latest Victorian romantic love tragedy film. But at least I have an ice cold Coke.

2:57:27Well, I had an ice cold Coke. Now I'm down to that last part where if I try to drink it, there's a good chance it'll make a slurping noise. Quiet. So I'm waiting for an action scene to cover the slurp. And waiting for the action scene. And waiting. Can you pass the popcorn? Coca-Cola. Open happiness. Refreshing Coke and refreshing savings make summer cooler. Visit your local Albertsons and grab a Coca-Cola summer booklet with more than $85 in savings. That includes $2 off a large Coke at your local AMC theater. And pick up plenty of Coke for all your get-togethers. Coca-Cola. Open happiness. While booklet supplies last in savings at participating AMC theater's locations. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why? Because as a small business owner, it's more than your job. It's what you love. And you need technology that keeps pace with your passion. That's why Verizon delivers all the wireless solutions you need to make sure your business rules. Verizon technology gives you the power to enable growth and boost productivity. Because only Verizon offers an arsenal of advanced devices, powerful business apps, and mobile security safeguards, all backed by unrivaled customer support and the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America.

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3:00:02For showtimes or to buy your fun card, visit SeaWorld.com slash Viva. Concert seating is limited. Entertainment subject to change without notice. Event included with park admission. Restrictions apply. Hey guys, this is L.O.B. from The Mikey Show, and every week you hear me go on and on about how great Ovation Cell Therapy has been for my hair. Well, here's something that Ovation is doing, and I think that they're amazing for doing this. Ovation is helping support the City of Hopes. Walk for Hope. This is happening Saturday, May 21st, and Ovation is proud to be a San Diego partner with City of Hope's Walk for Hope, which is being presented nationally by Staples. Come on out and join the thousands, that's right, thousands nationwide who are committed to ending women's cancers. This is a cause that is really near and dear to my heart, and I'm so happy to see Ovation a part of it. Learn how Ovation Cell Therapy can work for you. Log on to OvationHair.com or go out and visit the Ovation booth. They're going to be out there. The Walk for Hope. They can answer any questions you have and really just help to inspire you. Go to OvationHair.com and remember to enter FM949 for your special introductory rate because Ovation can work for you. Again, that's OvationHair.com and enter FM949 for that special rate. Slightly Stupid Summer Extravaganza. The Seedless Summer 2011 Tour. It's hitting Cricut Wireless Amputator presented by Sleep Train Mattress Centers. Saturday, July 30th. Slightly Stupid.

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3:02:41It's brought to you by California Grown. California Grown foods do great things for our state's economy, adding nearly $16 billion a year. That's over $430 for every person in the state. Be Californian by California Grown. Well, let's see. We've got a couple of motorcycle things going on here. The 163 northbound Balboa Avenue. It's an injury accident. Traffic is completely stopped here. On the 805 northbound before the 52, it's a motorcycle and a car. They're both on the right shoulder. A bunch of debris across the roadway. And it's a rear-end crash in Oceanside on the 78 eastbound right before El Camino Real. And they have moved it to the right shoulder. This report brought to you by News 8. It's a showdown with Red John on the two-hour season finale of The Mentalist. Tonight at 10 on CBS 8. followed by News 8 at 11. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. I don't know the difference between odd and even. Lauren. I washed my hands like a thousand times when I could. Woods. I don't know what my point is. I just felt like saying it. Okay? Sienna. I love salami. And Jay. I've got bees in my attic right now. On FM 94.9. Tom Tom Toons coming up in just a second.

3:04:11Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, yesterday, Ashton Kutcher was officially introduced by CBS Entertainment, the president, as a new member of Two and a Half Men. John Cryer was up there with him, as well as the younger kid, too. And he is making a million dollars per episode. Ashton Kutcher. He'll end up making more, I bet. Yeah. Because I bet it'll be a success. Oh, yeah. He said, in my 13 years in show business, I've never received more emails and phone calls from people congratulating me for this job. That's cool. I think I've won the lottery. Also, crazy story out of San Dimas in California, Southern California. This man placed hidden cameras inside a Starbucks bathroom and filmed dozens of women and children. Is this the guy that used... The hook? Yes. He made like a little hook to hang clothes that was installed in the bathroom. It was there for about two days before it was discovered. And he had...

3:05:03disturbing video of at least 45 female victims and children that were discovered on his computer. Just scary. Yeah, he would, like, go in there, I think, and then go out to his car and download it onto a computer. Yeah, yeah. Now, we don't know that he's put any of this on the internet or anything like that. So far, it seems like he hasn't, but he was charged with secretly videotaping 45 victims for sexual gratification, and he was free on $50,000 bail. He's scheduled for a June 21st Superior Court appearance. Scary. Yeah, it is. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Padres have lost two in a row. They lost 5-2 to the Brewers last night. Marcate had a big night, three hits, two RBIs. The Brewers, who are actually the worst road team in the NL, were able to pull off the 5-2 victory over the Padres. And this is something I'm very excited about. I'm a big ESPN fan. Most guys are. Well, there's an oral history coming out called those guys have all the fun. And what they've done is they've... Talk to basically everybody that's ever worked there. Interviewed them, and it's going to be in that format of Chris Berman, colon, his statement. You know, Andrea Kramer, colon, statement. There are, looks to be, some absolutely riveting stories in there. There's one that I can tell real quick. Carrie Ross worked there in the 80s. Sexual harassment was such a problem at the compound in Bristol. She stood up in the cafeteria and said, we have got to stop.

3:06:27All of this sexual harassment that's going on at ESPN. There's about 250 people in the cafeteria. She said everybody just looked at her and just went back to eating their meal. Weird. It was so bad in the 80s. It's going to be a gnarly book. Yeah, I bet. Did you say oral history? Yes, Jay, I did. You read my mind. Well, Jay, it will be available for your purchase next week, my friend. May 24th. What are you so excited about? Because you have your creep voice on. I thought maybe you could see in here. I can't really see in there. Good thing. It's a true story. It's a good thing you're not sitting on my lap, you know? Oh, wow. Very subtle, Jay. M1, Adam from San Diego. Are you there? I am here. Are you ready to play a little TomTom tunes? I am ready. Let's do this. You may think with songs you're super. You recognize them right or quite us. Now she's gone first. Let's see.

3:08:15Tom Tom Girl, how are you? I'm good, Mikey. I have a theme for today's song. You have a theme that you're working on. A general theme. All right. What is the theme? It's regarding the Judgment Day on May 21st. It is, I believe, what TomTomGirl said, and it's hard to understand because she does use this sort of robotic inflection. You said it has to do with Judgment Day on May 21st. That's right, Mikey. Isn't that some sort of Christian belief? Well, it is some sort of wacky Christian belief by one particular wacky guy, but it's not an overall. Christian belief. Named my kiss bar. No, no, no, no. I do not believe that. I think it's a bunch of hooey. Okay, thank you for the clarification. You're very welcome. You're very welcome, TomTomGirl. TomTomGirl is actually a TomTom device. Used to be Woods' TomTom device, but now that he knows his way around San Diego, he doesn't have as much use for her as he used to. Take it to the house over here. That's right. That's right. Well...

3:09:15Tom Tom Girl, what you're going to do is you're going to read the lyrics to a song, and then we've got M1 Adam on the line. All he has to do is give his title and artist for that song, and he'll be a winner of what, Jay? He's going to get a pair of tickets to the San Diego County Fair. There we go. There we go. All right, Tom Tom Girl, let's go. We've got 20 seconds to do this, Adam, starting now. All I need is title or artist, Adam, to win. That would be Billy Joel. We didn't start the fire. Very nice. Didn't Michael sing that in the office to Ryan? Yeah. Because Ryan started a fire. Ryan started the fire. Congratulations, Adam. You're a winner. Hang on the line, please. M1 Rick from Escondido. Are you there? I am here. All right. You got to listen to these lyrics and then you got 20 seconds to decipher them and tell us title or artist in order to win tickets to the fair. Here we go.

3:10:50I remember when I'd lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place. Even your emotions had an echo in so much space. And when you are out there without care, yeah, I was out of touch. But it was not because I did not know enough. All you need is title or artist to win. What is it, Rick? I do not know. It was Gnarl's Barkley Tracy. Next up, M1AK from Point Loma. Are you there, AK? Yes, sir. 20 seconds to give me title or artist of this song. Look at them, low playing, find that overflow, population, common food, but it'll do to save yourself. All I need is the name of the band or the name of the song for you to win. What'd he say? What'd you say? Marley? I said Marley? Bob Marley?

3:12:37That was R-E-M. They did, man. It's one of those bands I never was into when I was younger, but gotten into the older I get. The feds plan on auctioning off some of the Unabomber's personal effects. Yes. The online auction is going to begin May 18th and run through June 2nd. There's about 60 items up for sale. They're all personal. Personal documents, such as his driver's license, birth certificates, checks. Who's that guy, by the way, that wants that? Yeah. That's so weird. I know. I bet you could get it and then turn it around later on in life and make some coin. Like an investment. Yeah, like an investment. Well, if it's anything like your stock tips, you should really clean house. You know who didn't buy any of those stock tips? Yeah, you. Oh, boy.

3:14:08First indicator. Stocking up on the Unabomber's tie? Yes. Yeah, one day. Hey, Jasper, come here. You want to see your college fun? See that? Yeah. That's Ted Kaczynski's underwear. That's right. All right. Hey, don't touch it. You can't touch it. You ruin the integrity. You got to keep it mint. It's mint right now. That's mint underwear. That's mint condition. Mint underwear. That's college fun, boy. That's right. Real stain, so you know it's good. You know it's good. Mint condition. Also, there's academic transcripts, typewriters, more than 20,000 pages of written documents. Hey, Liberty, you want to see your new car? That's Ted Kaczynski's report card. Look at that. Don't touch it. Oh, God. You can't bend the edges. Hey, Kim, I got our trip to Hawaii right here. What is it, babe? It's a Domino's pizza receipt. Ted Kaczynski. There's sauce on the edges. We're going to Maui. We're going to Maui, girl. Woods, you want to see your new surfboard? What? Let's see it. It's a Billings, Montana phone book. Once belonged to Dan Kaczynski. Jay, would you ever buy something like that? You know, I'd be big on spending. Yeah, that's true. It would cost you money. Yeah, that'd be like asking him. I'd barter for it. Yeah. I'd barter. Yeah, I would trade like bones and skins or something.

3:15:32A woodsy skim. I put that up there. No problem. I'd take Mikey's pelt. Yeah, I'd take Mikey's. Well, I'd have to have four or five of them because they're so tiny. By the time you cut through all the fat and salt it, there ain't nothing left. What about human trafficking? I sell you two. Yeah, that's right. That way I can get Ted Kaczynski's hat. That's right. Hopefully they buy by the pound. Get more than a hat then. I got Ted Kaczynski's house. I just bought Montana. I bought a ranch. That's right. Oh, man, Mikey, if they sold Mikey by the pound. Oh, boy. We'd all feast. No pun intended to the buyer, of course. I'd buy a new ballpark or something like that. My mom's skate park. Enough to go around. Buy America. Woods read Scott Weiland's new memoir in a day. In an afternoon. How many pages? A couple hundred. I got it. Wife came home for lunch, gave it to me. And I was like, all right, see you later. And I got in bed, opened it up. I was going to read a little bit, see if I liked it. Two and a half hours later, I was like, done. Incredible. Highlights? Highlights. Oh, man. When he first got together with STP, recording the first record. Yeah.

3:16:55Was incredible. How he met the guys from Velvet Revolver, which was pretty cool. His wife actually made that connection. She knew Duff's wife and said, hey, I think you guys would sound good together. He got the first tape from them. He goes, uh-uh. Sent it back. They did another one. And he's like, oh, yeah, that's it. They got something. I thought he thought it was a business decision or something. Well, he never really thought that it was a musical thing that his heart was in. It was more of a business. That's the second record. The first record and the first tour, it was all the way on board. All the way on board. And it was, it sounded, I mean, I saw that first tour in a little tiny place. Amazing. I heard that he tried heroin for the first time because a bunch of guys like the Butthole Surfers and a bunch of guys that he was on tour with, with STP, they were all making their orders. Yeah. For heroin. Yeah. And he wanted to do the rock star thing. So he was like, yeah, sure. Get me some too. I'll try it. You know, something that I never knew. I mean, he's lost two of his brothers. It's just the loss that he had in his life. And I was reading and I'm like, it was weird. His dad went to Notre Dame, played ball. My dad went to Notre Dame, played ball. He lived in a couple of different places. And I just, I really, I read it and just fell in love with it. So it's a good read. It's quick. Obviously. Yeah. Let's see. It's called Not Dead and Not For Sale.

3:18:18From one of their songs. If you're a guy, could you date a woman that was 20 years older than you? Now, for me, that'd be a 60-year-old. Hello. Mike, this is Ashton Kutcher. I do it. He does. Look at me. He makes a million bucks an episode. Hey, listen. He ain't doing so bad, though. I mean, Demi Moore looks great. How much older? For me? No, them. Demi and Ashton. It's not 20. It's about. I mean, it's pretty close. Is that right? Woods, could you date a 55-year-old? Come on. No. No. There's no chance. No chance. Jay, could you date a 147-year-old? No, I would not. Jay, could you date a fossil? Yes. Jay, could you date a mosquito stuck in a piece of amber from the Jurassic period?

3:19:21Maybe just a one-night stand. Could you exhume Cleopatra and consider it? I did. Laura and I already did. Been there, done that. Got a t-shirt. Took her jewelry. Well, for a woman, it's easier. Oh, yeah. But for a guy, there's a different stigma. And also, we're kind of shallow. What's that stigma, by the way? 20-year-old guy dating a dating like seriously dating a 40-year-old woman what's the stigma uh stigma is that you have mommy issues isn't the same for the 20-year-old girl dating i don't think so daddy issue no because i think that with the 20-year-old uh girl dating the 40-year-old guy men can generally keep looking i'm not trying to make anybody upset oh you're dead oh you're a dead man not trying to make anybody upset we get better Better. Men generally get better looking as they age. I don't know about better. They get distinguished. Yeah. True statement. I look worse, but I'm the exception. I do. You knew me 10 years ago. I look way worse now than I did that. Compared to a woman, a man ages better. They age better, for sure. Men age better than women. Yes, for sure. In general. Generalities. It's a generalization, but yes, in general, a 55-year-old man.

3:20:48That's done up and looking real dapper. Looks pretty good. In general, a 55-year-old woman, you know that she's in her 50s. Usually. Usually. Unless there's been a lot of plastic surgery and there's been something that's been done. It's the design. Unless she has my DNA. Hello. Unless I slept with her and then I pass it on. Yeah, that's right. I don't get STDs. I pass on beautiful DNA. That's right. Now, a 35-year-old guy dating a 55-year-old woman, that's what Woods would be doing. Mom's age, dude. I know it. I know it. No. Now, see, and what do you think? You think mom. Mom. You know? You don't think... See, a woman can say this. A 35-year-old woman could be married to a 55-year-old guy and go, he's sexy as all getup. Oh, yeah. I think it's different for a 35-year-old guy to be like, hey, listen, she's still got it. She's 55, and I'll tell you what. Listen, I see 55-year-old women make that statement. I see 55-year-old women say that. Now, some women are blessed, and they just have this genetics.

3:22:10That they don't look their age. You know, they just don't look their age. Well, it also depends on if they give up. If they just start, you know, wearing the high pants and, you know, letting their hair go. Cut all their hair off. There's something to be said for that, but there's also, it's more noticeable on a woman. The age is more noticeable. You know, you can tell more. I don't know when that happens. Kids. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. They're just throwing stuff out here. This is not scientific. This is not a hypothesis here. Probably all the worry that we have for trying to look as good as all you guys. And taking care of you guys constantly. Constantly. Worrying we won't be good enough. Worrying that we'll upgrade. You know. Takes its toll. Not upgrade per se. You know what I mean. Men don't. Men don't. I'll tell you this. And we said this the other day. Because this was an off-the-air conversation. It was the four of us. We were talking about, would we rather be the opposite sex? And L.O.B. and Sienna were like, I'd be a guy. I'd like to see what that's like. Easy. And me and Woods both agreed, it's got to be tough being a chick. A, you know, you got to wait for a guy to ask stuff, which sucks.

3:23:33I'd never get asked. These are generalizations again. Generalizations. Dates, dances, all that. I mean, a girl could go, hey, will you marry me? Will you go to this dance with me? Don't freak out about it. Yes. Girls have to have babies. Yeah. Periods. And it hurts. They have to have a period. They get to have babies. They get cramps. They're blessed. Here's the thing, though. I can make a couple arguments the other way. One more. I got one more. You got one more? Yes. What is it? My wife's. job is physically 50,000 times more demanding than my job. Oh yeah. Okay. Now that's not true of all guys. Some guys work in construction and some guys work in some jobs that are really heavy manual labor. And so if their wife is a stay at home, maybe it's equal. I don't know. All I can tell you is when I watch our kids for 20 minutes, I'm ready to lose my mind. Not every woman.

3:24:32A, has a kid, or B, decides to stay at home. No, but if you are, if that is what you do, if that is what you do, I'm speaking of my situation, Rebecca stays at home, I couldn't do it. But that's not a gender-specific designation. No. Well, that explains why you help out so much around the house. Do you need to help up, Mike? Wait. Okay, Jay. Okay, okay, okay. Rebecca and Nita just high-fived. Rebecca just goes, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Tell him, Jay. Mm-hmm. Now, is Jay getting home and just plugging the vacuum in? Probably. Probably. He's probably not. Dude. He's probably not. He's probably not. He's getting Kim on the phone. He's getting Kim on the phone. You know he helps a lot. Is he dusty? Is he pledge? Pledge. The guy built a fence in the backyard. Yeah, he does that. Made dinner. Made dinner. I do that, though.

3:25:36Go pick Jasper up after school. He goes and plays football. That's because you need a playmate. Yes. You enjoy that. I do. I love that. You need a mentor, so pick up your eight-year-old. Here's my argument to why it would be pretty good to be a girl. Why? Well, and of course you want. Anytime you want it. They don't want it like we do. I know, but I'm saying they could. No, they don't. Put this brain in a woman. Dude, it would be awful, though. Put this brain in a woman. No, but the deal is that they don't do that because they're viewed as a... That's the only reason they don't do it. Yeah, they don't do it. We seek more emotional connection. More emotional connection. So if we were a woman... That actually sucks about being a woman then. See? If we were a woman, we would have to deal with all the emotions that come along with being a woman. One thing that women have, though, is we can do a lot more to correct what was not God given to us. Like using makeup and hairstyle and stuff like that. Mm-hmm. Women? No, I'm going to say it. I'm just sharpening my steak. Keep that in mind. I believe women like to talk more than men. Yes. It's true. And I would not like to talk that much. Says a talk show host. That's when I do my talking. When you get home, isn't that the last thing you want to do is talk a lot? You're nodding. Yeah. I'm the same.

3:27:12You are? Yeah, I'm the exception, I think, to women in talking. You are. That's why I have more guy friends than girls. Shut up. Girls like to camp. I'm a talker. When Todd gets home from work, is he attacked with verbal words all night long? At times. But I know he has a routine when he gets home that I know I need to let him do. He needs to do his few things. Bathroom, stuff like that. Yes. Yeah. And then he gets pounced on. I can't pounce right away because then he's defensive. Yes. I need to let him, you know, casually get adjusted, decompress. Once we get started, it's hard to stop. Oh my God, is it ever? It really is. Sometimes I wish there was an off switch for myself. But you said you don't, you're not that way. No, but once someone like extracts it out of me and then I'm like, and then, oh my gosh, wait, I forget to say, and then. And women are such good storytellers. Shut up. Oh. What's your line about that, Woods? What is your line about that? Oh, you just, see, I just threw somebody. What is your line about that? What, would I call my what? You go, easy. Easy, John Grisham. You heard on the Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call 570-1949. Here comes the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9. 70 years ago, we set out on a journey.

3:28:48What began as a duty to our country became our legacy. Since then, every day brings a new adventure. Our name is written out there, in the sand, on every road. It's what defines us. It's what makes us who we are. Unique. There's only one of you like there's only one of us. It's time to celebrate 70 years of legendary Jeep brand history. Come celebrate with us today and experience the all-new Jeep Compass. Luxurious Jeep Grand Cherokee and legendary Jeep Wrangler. We don't just make SUVs. We make history. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. All day sales event. Least Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x4 for $369 a month for 39 months with $24.99. Do at least signing for well-qualified lessees. Tax, time, and license extra. Call 1-888-925-JEEP for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Allied. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 531. AIS, ladies and gentlemen, is a auto insurance company called the Auto Insurance Specialist. And for good reason. What's happening over here on this little headphone there? What do you think about that? Happens to me all the time. What I can tell you about AIS is that the average person experiences savings of over $500 a year on their auto insurance. Now, I saved $1,600. When I made the switch, you could save even more.

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3:31:22No way. He's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right. And he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait. Didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah. I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub. Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today. Only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie The Hangover Part 2 in theaters May 26th. We're back, and the folks at McDonald's drop by the studio. With the new jalapeno cheddar McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and the new cheddar onion McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and from the looks of these beauties, $1.49 is a real deal. I see your jalapeno cheddar McChicken has melted white cheddar, and is that hot jalapeno salsa? Oh, wow, spicy. I did not see that coming, McDonald's. Oh, and the grilled onions on this cheddar onion McChicken are incredible. Big, cheesy taste. Hey, switch with me. I like a take-charge man. I like a lady who's...

3:32:23Cut to commercial. McDonald's new spicy jalapeno cheddar McChicken and savory cheddar onion McChicken. The simple joy of cheesy deliciousness with spicy jalapeno salsa or grilled onions. Just $1.49 each. That was so tasty. You got a little cheese on your... That's not cheese. It's an onion. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up again to give you the summer's best discount. Now adults and kids can save $20 on a single day admission. Visit your local McDonald's today for details and get your exclusive SeaWorld discount coupon. Get to the ballpark as your Padres take on the Seattle Mariners Saturday, May 21st at 7.05. The first 25,000 fans can show their San Diego pride with the Padres Auto Fan Pack, which includes a window cling, car flag, and license plate frame. Don't miss a moment of the action. Padres vs. Mariners plus Auto Fan Pack Saturday, May 21st at 7.05. Get your tickets today and save when you buy online at Padres.com. At Navy Federal Credit Union, we say what we mean. And we say zero plus zero really equals zero, as in you pay zero fees to transfer your high-rate credit balances to a Navy Federal credit card. Then get a 0% intro APR for 12 months. After that, the rate is variable, ranging from 7.99% APR to 18% APR. Apply at NavyFederal.org or call 1-888-842-6328 for details about credit costs and terms. You've got zero to lose. Zip. Zuds. A big old donut hole. Absolutely not.

3:33:49Right now, I am driving the first luxury sedan to earn an overall five-star rating from some of the toughest safety experts around. Any idea what car it is? Let me see. Hands. It accelerates like this. That is 300 horses saying hello. It's available with cutting-edge features like active blind spot detection that warns you in three different ways when someone's in your blind spot. It also... Don't do it. Another safety feature. the kind of responsiveness that helps you get out of harm's way. I bet you know now I am driving a BMW 5 Series, the ultimate driving machine that got an overall five-star rating from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Say that five times fast. Look, if you don't want to choose between performance and safety, find both in a 5 Series at a BMW center today. For a limited time, lease the BMW 528i sedan for $579 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Auto Glass Center, now offering new windshields starting at $99 and $34.99 chip repair with lifetime warranty. 5955 Mira Mesa Boulevard, fast and convenient same-day service with the lowest prices guaranteed. Auto Glass Center, 858-216-4300. That's 858-216-4300. And now back to the Mikey Show.

3:35:07With Mikey. The other day I sat in front of my fish tank and looked at it for 10 minutes. Lauren. It's not random, I'm just confused. Woods. I love all melons. Sienna. When someone does something to me, I'll be like, eh, whatever. But if you mess with someone that I love, I will take you down. Ha! Bam, bam. And Jay. Santa Hoff was so hot, she could have done anything. That's true. That's true. On FM 94.9. Welcome back. Can you guys remember what your house smelled like when you were a teenager? Yes. No. I always knew that everybody else had a smell to their house, and I could never smell my own house. I do. I do, too. I'm the same with Lauren. I could never smell mine. I always wanted to know what it smelled like. When you go away and then you go home, you definitely do. Yes. Because you walk in, you go, oh, tacos. Chimichangas. Tacos and burritos. General spices. Tamales. Cayenne pepper. A little bit. Jalapeno. Jalapeno.

3:36:44Pinata. Pinata. Burrow. Mariachi band. Mom, dad, mom. It's the doorbell. That was the doorbell. Can you get the door? Somebody's ringing the doorbell. Somebody's ringing again. Is that the doorbell or the phone? I don't know. Is it the TV? Mike, is that your pager again? That's our doorbell. My ringtone. The neighbors. The music we're regularly playing. The alarm clock. The timer on the toaster. That's what the microwave does when it gets to zero. The refrigerator does when Mike opens it. Horn in your car. That's incredible. Ella B says that her uncle Pat was in town.

3:37:47And they went out to dinner last night. Pat O'Brien. Pat O'Brien. Pat McGroin. And he had just met Lauren's boyfriend, Matt Commerce, her BFMC. He is in for it. And it was the first time that they had met, right? Yes, because he lives in Florida and we live out here. And so he comes down and he meets Matt. And he tells him that when Matt comes out to New Jersey for Lauren's cousin's wedding in June. that he, I mean, Pat, Uncle Pat, he and the other uncles are going to bust his balls. Quote. Now, he took it easy on him last night, but he just wants him to know that it's coming. Now, what he means by that, right, is like the marriage thing. I think so. He said he's going to. Now, all my uncles, big, strong, burly Irishmen, you know.

3:38:50And my uncle Kevin is probably the craziest of all of them. Now, he was back in New Jersey, and he said that he was going to put it in my uncle Kevin's head. Like, I don't know, man. I met this guy. I don't know what his intentions are. And he's just going to let him go. Just wind him up. Wow. Get eaten alive. Oh, my gosh. And Matt's just a sweet guy. He's not confrontational at all. Very mild-mannered. Yes. Oh, yeah. My Uncle Pat, he used to play. He's in the Hall of Fame at Villanova for football. Wow. He played with Howie Long. He's a big guy. He's telling Matt this last night. Oh, my gosh. Matt's like, oh, yeah, cool. I'm an artist. I'm an artist. I'm an artist. I'm an artist. I'm an artist. I'm an artist. I'm a guitar player, singer-songwriter. I'm not in a metal band. I can't wait. And the thing is, I don't think I'll jump in and, like, throw him a lifesaver. I think I'll be like, ah! Oh, yeah. I love that. We'll see what happens. I'm looking forward to it. I went to the spa yesterday. Got a massage.

3:39:50We already have like seven drops. That's true. I mean, gosh, there's so many of those. Can I pull the curtain back? Please, please, please. Jay's got a new bit. It only happens at the end of the show. Towards the end of the show, he always holds up a sign that tells me to break two minutes ago. He does? It's just breaking so quick. I can't get used to it. It was one minute ago. Well, that's fine because you saved me. I didn't want to tell the story. I thought you were going to pull the curtain back as to why you went to the spa. Because that we want to hear. That is what needs to be said. Maybe we save that for 7.30 tomorrow. It's a good one. Sorry, Mike. No, I think I want to get it out of the way. I want to get it out of the way. Pop it in. The Mikey Show. And turn it on. Hold on. Be a part of The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at jeep.com. This is The Mikey Show. More coming up.

3:41:02On FM 94.9. It's almost here. And it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. I want to see you in the mouth. The silent comedy. The softback. Heavy Hawaii. And performing. Electricity. are sold out. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Triple Hops Brood Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubbies and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. PMW as you need us. Now you can.

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3:49:36In front of my wife. Lauren. I wouldn't make my own dress if I knew how to sew. Woods. Do you have a problem with me peeing in my backyard? No. Because that is done at least three times a week. Zienna. Tomorrow's the ring. And Jay. I've had my tips frosted. I believe you. I believe you. Uh-oh. FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, West Indian Girl. Jerry. Explain yourself. I went to the spa yesterday because I went to the spa for Mother's Day. Are you a mom? What do you mean for Mother's Day? Mother's Day was a couple weeks ago. Yep. Did you take your mom there? Nope. What do you mean? Did you take your mother-in-law there? No, I did not. I took Rebecca. Your wife? My wife, Rebecca. You just drove her and dropped her off? Dropped her off, right? Because that's...

3:50:55How did you give her a ride? Made sure she had flowers. No, we went together as a couple. Oh. Because it was like a couple's massage. Was it? Well, it wasn't a couple's massage. She got a massage in one room and I got a massage in another room. So it was like parents' day. No, it was Mother's Day. I gave her a gift and the gift was... And then she gave you a gift for Father's Day and you're like, oh, let's go. It's a little early. He treated himself. No. He treated yourself. No. Yeah. I got her for Mother's Day a gift of going to the spa with me. Wow. We went together like couples. Because I figured, you know, it would be nice to do something together. But you were in separate rooms, right? Yeah, but not until... You guys rode together. We drove there and then we, you know, enjoyed each other's company for lunch. In the lobby? In the lobby. You can ride together to the DMV. It's not really Mother's Day or like a date or spending time together. Yeah, but we had lunch. You could do that after the DMV. Driving through McDonald's doesn't count. So, happy birthday slash Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to you. Yeah. Happy Mother's Day, Mike. When we were leaving, she said, maybe I get this for Father's Day. And I said, nah, I don't want that. You are a monster. Why?

3:52:24Because you don't want it? That's what she asked for. That's what she asked for. For both of you or for herself? No, she said the spa. I got her the spa. But you got it as well. Maybe what you should have done is get two massages for her. You know what? I would say you already got your Father's Day gift. She's already handled it. You're done. You monster. Let's say you spent X, okay? Divide X in half, right? Okay? Then you take that half, maybe take that half, spend that on her as well. So she's not getting a half X for Mother's Day. Hey, but don't you think she wanted to be a couple and stuff? Maybe she needed some time for herself. Maybe two massages is always better than one. Usually you go to the spot to escape everybody, husband included. Maybe I just get in the Pacific and swim. Just go, man. Mikey, you can't swear. How do you think I got to America? It's a true statement. You've got to be careful. There's wailers out there. It's killing me. Ouch. It's like a piece of your soul is chipped away. He's got a chisel. That was the worst thing. It's over. I mean, that's it. That ends it all, I guess. And he's doing a victory dance.

3:53:54Sucks the air right out of the room, doesn't it? Steak right to the heart. Just incredible. Just, wow. No mercy. Jay's proud of that one. I'm very proud of myself. Come up and breathe, Mikey. Come on, one more breath. I don't know who I feel more sorry for. Me or poor Hillary who just looks down during these uncomfortable moments. I try and shrink myself a little bit. Like I'm not here. Just do your thing. You gotta have thick skin. You do. Well he does. His is so thick they make oil lamps out of it.

3:54:59It's just called blubber. Oh, man. Good money for that skin, Mike. Not me. Not me. I won't. I'll trade you something for it, though. Eskimos could wear you. It's so great. Inuit. Inuit. Inuits could wear you. You hear me in there, Debbie? Right in your ears? Oh, boy. Well, it's Friday. Interesting day. True story. Yeah. Let's see. How about the guy that was busted for filing the false police report? Cut himself with a rock. Okay. Made himself look beat up and said that he was robbed of his Oprah Winfrey tickets. Yeah. Oprah's doing her big farewell spectacular right now. So everyone that is anyone is there. It's like in an arena. Yeah. It's in Chicago at the United Center.

3:56:09Oh, my God. Yeah. And this 44 year old Canadian wanted to impress his wife. So told her, babe, got tickets. We're going. We're going to Oprah's farewell spectacular. They go to Chicago. And of course, he doesn't have tickets. So he comes up with this elaborate plan to injure himself. Minor injuries, you know, like Mike said, got a rock and beat himself up. and told the police that someone had beat him up and stolen his Oprah tickets. And he was hoping maybe to get some Oprah tickets out of it. Right, exactly, because he was going to do whatever it takes to impress his wife and get them in there. And he didn't want her to know that he was lying. Under every seat will be like a gypsy or something. Everybody gets a gypsy. A Bentley. A family of gypsies. You get a gypsy family. Well, he finally admitted to fabricating the incident. And he charged with disorderly conduct and making a false police report, which is a felony. And he is being held in the Cook County Jail for a $20,000 bond. And he has to go to court next week. Real big deal. Much of a ball breaker is your wife. You have to beat yourself with a rock. Dude, I didn't get those tickets. Let me see that rock. She's going to kill me. This is better. Believe me. I didn't eat those tickets.

3:57:31Oh, God. Oh, God. You didn't get my Oprah. Hey, babe, where's the... Did you get the tickets? I want to get an Oprah. It's time to get an Oprah. Oh, my God. He's like, babe, I didn't get them. Beating himself with a rock was a better alternative. Yeah, than going home to his wife and going, hey, babe, sorry. I couldn't get it done. You know, when you think about it, I want you to picture the rock in the hand. And he's like, all right. This will hurt less. This will hurt less. This will hurt less. Than her attitude. Than me not getting those tickets. Gotta do it. I wonder where the pants, where's the pants in the family? Yeah. I wonder what the past has dictated in order to... Do you think she was Bridezilla?

3:58:24Did she have any input on her wedding? He set himself up, though, it sounds like. Yeah. Like, why would he even tell her that in the first place? He's trying to impress her. Help me, Oprah Winfrey! That was him. Do you think she ever got upset that he deleted her T-vote Oprah episode? You think she had input on the bridesmaid dresses? Oh, my gosh. The candles, the food. Yeah. The linens. Where they went on their honeymoon. I think she had input on the manicure that the guy that made the cake got. Do you think she keeps the checkbook in their house? Yeah. Guaranteed. Do you think she picked her engagement ring? Oh, my God. I think she had any input on their house. I can't say that. Any input on the haircut he got. I was going to get real gnarly. Thank you for stopping yourself. I just had to exercise a little judgment there. Hey, man, he could get out of that marriage. He's there. It's true. She's scared, though. She'll kill him. If he said that he wanted a divorce, she would slap him in the face.

3:59:34Takes two to tango. That's true. That's all I'm saying. What do you got coming up, Hillary? I grabbed the new TV on the radio. Some Camper Van Beethoven and Bad Religion I'm going to start with. Get on the Black Keys. Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of the release of their album Brothers. So I'll play something off that. Biffy Clyro. There you go. Yeah. Well, folks, the lovely and talented Hillary is up next. And we will see you here tomorrow morning at 6. The Mikey Show's out. I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. KBZ. Sandy. A Lincoln financial radio station. The music.