The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/20/11
Friday, May 20, 2011
celebrity scandalmedia hoaxesradio comedydeath and mortalitychild safetytouring economicscelebrity newsaddiction and recoverymikeyradioschwarzeneggerbotox
Sienna and the crew covered Arnold Schwarzenegger's alleged affairs, the Botox-mom hoax, a daycare molestation case and the fatal crash of Randy Savage, often arguing about responsibility and the harm done to families. The comedy centered on Lauren O'Brien accidentally exposing herself at a nursing home, Jay crushing Mikey in the Dead Arm Duel, Gary's fake Chanel gift and a roommate who put a litter box in the dishwasher. A speculative blood test and Harold Camping's rapture prediction produced serious arguments over whether knowing a death date helps people prepare or merely poisons the time they have. The show ended with Mikey naming his childhood abuse, eating disorder and substance addictions, crediting his Christian conversion with his recovery and directing listeners toward help.
What happened, in order
Arnold's Other Affair
Sienna reported that Gigi Goyette said she began a relationship with Arnold Schwarzenegger at 16 and resumed it after he married Maria Shriver, prompting the hosts to argue that more public confessions would only hurt Sh
Botox Mom Says It Was Fake
Carrie Campbell claimed the tabloid photographs of her eight-year-old daughter Brittany receiving Botox were staged, while the hosts challenged her story because she and Brittany had repeated the claim on Good Morning Am
A Show for the Nursing Home
Lauren O'Brien wore a dress that rode up while she visited her boyfriend Matt Commerce at a nursing-home performance, where an elderly woman warned that she was giving everyone a show that would make a sailor blush.
Dead Arm Sweep
In the Dead Arm Duel, Jay beat Mikey on questions about Rocky films, Hugh Hefner and Johnny Cash, then delivered three punches so hard that Mikey dropped to his knees and complained the pain reached his groin.
Would You Learn Your Death Date?
A report about a blood test that might estimate lifespan led Sienna and Jay to say they would want their death date for planning and goodbyes, while Mikey, Woodsy and Lauren argued that knowing would turn life into a cou
Daycare Molestation Accusations
Sienna reported that several children accused the husband of Shining Stars daycare owner Guadalupe Herrera of molestation, and Mikey connected the case to his own childhood abuse and fear as a parent.
Rapture Pet Insurance
As Harold Camping's predicted Judgment Day approached, the hosts joked about an atheist-run service promising to care for pets left behind and debated whether even a far-fetched prophecy still creates anxiety through sug
The Fake Chanel Christmas
Woodsy recalled his father Gary presenting Marsha with a supposedly genuine Chanel bag from New York, only for her luxury-brand experience to expose it immediately as a Canal Street fake.
Inside Katy Perry's Rider
The hosts read Katy Perry's elaborate tour rider and focused on a clause allowing her team to hold prime tickets for secondary resale, concluding that marked-up front-row seats help explain how major artists profit from
Litter Box in the Dishwasher
A listener said a new Craigslist roommate washed a cat litter box in the dishwasher, leading Mikey, Woodsy, Lauren and Jay to argue over whether any cleaning cycle could make sharing the machine with plates acceptable.
Macho Man Dies
The show broke the news that wrestler Randy 'Macho Man' Savage died at 58 after suffering a heart attack while driving and crashing his Jeep into a tree, and Jay immediately withdrew a flippant Slim Jim joke.
Mikey's Friday Testimony
Mikey described being molested at five, developing fear, an eating disorder and addictions to alcohol, cocaine and methamphetamine, then said accepting Jesus Christ in 2003 saved his life and urged struggling listeners t
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienSiennaJayArnold SchwarzeneggerGigi GoyetteMaria ShriverCarrie CampbellBrittany CampbellMatt CommerceHugh HefnerJohnny CashGuadalupe Herrera
36,242 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Welcome. It's the Mikey Show, and it's always nice to get to the weekend and be ready to go. So much stuff going on in the news that we want to touch on, so welcome to the program. And phone lines already lighting up and available for you. M1 Nation 570-1949. Or text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 40 years of age and have a Be Different wristband on my right arm. And if you want to get into the Be Different thing, you can go to BeDifferentPact.org and you can get yourself one. And if you don't know what it is, it tells you right there on BeDifferentPact.org. Woodsy is 35. He is our sports guy and he has lost.
10 pounds. He didn't believe us. I didn't believe it. And it was the truth. We told you all along that you were losing weight and you didn't know until you got on the scale the other day, but you did. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B., is the blonde to my right. And she is a comedian. She is also our assistant producer. And you got any gigs this weekend? Woods and I are going to be judging a talent show on Saturday night. Very nice. I think I'll do. Fake Simon Cowell. Fake Randy. Of course. You know. Kind of have to. For like three hours. Kind of have to. Yeah. Sienna is our news girl. And she has auburn colored hair. Yes. Not red. Not red. She will get you. Yeah. I don't like being called red. Well, I've never seen it. I've never seen it as red.
Woodsy did. I call these color red. I know. And I just wondered why. Because I thought, does he know something I don't like? Did she have red hair at one point and it's like an inside thing? Because I've always thought that it's auburn in color, like kind of brown. Yeah, on my license. My driver's license, it says brown. Right. I don't know what to put. You don't know what to put. Yeah. Jay is our executive producer and has a t-shirt on that says, I heart boobies. You know that. Creeper extraordinaire. Creeper extraordinaire. He's a black hole of perversion. A black hole of perversion is the best way to sum it up. Yes. Wow. And our phone screener is Chris. It's cross. It's cross. It's cross. 7.30 this morning, the dead arm duel. Great. We reach into a basket. Sienna will pull a couple of names out of the basket. And it will either be one, it'll be two of the three of us. It'll be me, Woods, and Jay. So two of us will have to compete in the dead arm duel. And the way that it's played is L.O.B. will give us a clue about something. And whoever comes the closest wins. The loser has to take.
a dead arm punch from the other. It's the worst game. It's the worst game, especially when Jay is behind the punching. Because as I've said before, he punches like a donkey kicks. Yes. Strong like bull. He's strong like bull. Took me to my knees one time. Yep. More than one time. Yes, he did. And he punched me in the arm. Gross. Oh, well. Word of the day is clock. We have something that we do called word of the day and you just listen for it. So I mention it now. And then sometime between now and 10 a.m., you'll hear me repeat the word in a sort of a sneaky way. I'll try to weave it into a sentence. Sweetly. And the winner today, caller 9, when they hear me use the word of the day, which is clock, is going to get four tickets to the fair and also a pair of tickets to go see Eddie Vedder at Copley Symphony Hall on July 5th, which is a Tuesday night. So get ready for that.
Guess who's on the phone? Immediately, right out of the gate, guess who's on the phone? Woodsy's dad, M1 Hawk, is on the line. Hi, Hawk. Good morning, all. How are you? I'm fine. I haven't talked to my five favorite media superstars in a while. Well, thank you very much. We appreciate that. We'll be thinking about you all day today. Going in for surgery today. I lost over 200 pounds when Stephen moved to San Diego. What's that? I said I lost over 200 pounds when Stephen moved to San Diego. Like 220. Yeah, I'd say you lost a lot more than that, sir. Well, congrats, Stephen. That sounds great. Thank you very much. What were you calling about, M1 Hawk? I was just going to say hi. I haven't been able to call in for a while. He's been working. He's got surgery today. He does? He's got big surgery today. What's going on? On his Achilles tendon, and he had a fractured cheekbone. A guy stepped on the back of his foot when he was walking off the shuttle, and he went face first, tore his Achilles tendon.
The deal is he has a blood clot in his leg. Oh. So it's, you know, we're all real worried about him. So you're going in to get all that taken care of today, Hawk? I've got a little surgery scheduled for later. Got to attach the tendon back to the bone. Oh, poor thing. Well, good luck, and we wish you the best. Hey, I'll be listening. Love you, Dad. Love you guys. Thank you. Love you. Love you, too. He does the same bit my dad does. Love you guys. Love you guys. M1 Scott from Mission Bay. Are you there? gay dads. You know, I mean, I guess my dad. He tells me. My dad. And every time he comes on the air, love you, dad. Love you guys. Love you guys. He's making us feel included. Are you there, Scott? Oh, wait. I have to worry. I have to hit the line. Hi, Scott. Here I am. There you are, you rascal. Aside from picking the wrong phone line, I got a phone to pick with you guys. Go ahead. Hey, that is the wrong song to start Friday with. It's Friday, Friday. All right.
Asked and answered. You asked for it. See, I was thinking it was annoying the crap out of people, so I wasn't going to play it. But hey, if you want it, buddy, you got it. To start eating. Yeah. Pretty much sums up our entire show. I am looking forward to eating. Yeah, who isn't? Good Lord. Well, the big breaking news this morning is that the same exact thing that happened with Tiger Woods is now happening with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Right, Sienna? Yes, a woman has come forward and claimed that she had an affair with Arnold Schwarzenegger while he was married. Now, her name is Gigi Goyette. She also goes by Gigi Jeffers. And she was actually...
on Little House on the Prairie and started having an affair with him when she was 16. Oh. Now, he was 28, and this is before they were married. Now, they've had numerous relations throughout the years. That's when it started. She was 16. He was 28. That was when he was in his pumping iron days. And he was still, was he? Was he married? No, that was in 75. Yes. That was his statutory rapist days. Right, right, right, right. What I don't understand about it is if he wasn't married, she just wants people to know that? No, there's more. Oh, boy. That was in 75. Then in 89, three years after he married Maria Shriver, they started an affair again. Uh-oh. Started getting together again. And so she's now coming forward. She's, you know, hired Gloria Allred, of course. That's the same woman. That was lawyers for all of the Tiger Woods mistresses. Gloria Allred, she won't take a male client, right? I don't think so. I don't think she's allowed. I don't think so. You have to be a vixen. Yes. And a victim. Yes. She is going to be representing her against Arnold. And yeah, she claims she met Schwarzenegger 75. She was 16 when they were intimate. So that's his first strike. She was 16. And then they had another one while he was married to Maria. I think that if any girl.
is listening and had sex with Arnold Schwarzenegger while he was married. Just keep it to yourself because you're just going to hurt Maria Shriver more. Yeah. Like this is just more like she needs this. Right. Pile on. You know, it's just a pile on bit. And you're as equally as guilty. What's the big deal? What's your motivation? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're falling out of stardom. Well, her motivation is nothing but evil because she's also saying there are so many other women that he cheated with. About 13 have come out of the woodwork. She said. Oh, God. Fine. I'll do a press conference right now. And I'm going to just put it out there so nobody has to ask more questions, all right? Janet from Three's Company. That lady from Facts of Life. Oh, wow. Alice from Brady Bunch. Alice from Alice. Alice from Alice. That's repulsive. Did you kiss her grits? Yes, I did. Moaner from Who's the Boss. But who didn't? Who didn't? Jay had that.
Hot lips from M.A.S.H. Princess Leia. I don't know her real name. Carrie Fisher. Princess Leia. Governor. Whatever. Arnold actually did release a statement yesterday saying that he's going to be putting his acting career on hold because now that he's done with Governor, he's going to be acting again. He did it for himself. He said he's going to be focusing on personal matters and is not willing to commit to any production schedules or timelines. If I were him, I would rent a cabin in Montana. I would go there for about six months and no hide or hair of me. That's right. Hide nor hair. No, hide nor hair. I'd peek my head out and go, it's safe to come out. Yeah. It might be longer than six months. Who knows? We got a fickle society. It's a true statement. This is big news. Padres and Fox Television are close to a deal. Yeah, the Padres, they say, are close to announcing a new TV deal that will net the club between $25 and $30 million per season. Now, this is great, man. It's a 20-year deal with Fox. Now, I have satellite TV. You have satellite TV. Neither of us are able to watch the Padres on Channel...
Four. Four, because it's Cox Communications. Now, if Fox buys them, they're talking about doing, like where I came from in Dallas, they had Fox Sports Southwest. Right. So they're talking about doing a Fox Sports San Diego network. So they're saying right now that Fox will broadcast the Padres games on a yet-to-be-determined station. Wow. So if they did that Fox Sports San Diego, that'd be pretty awesome. Sure. And also, man, $25 to $30 million extra. I mean, that's how the Yankees and the Red Sox, that's how these guys get players. Right. You know, TV money. Sure. And 25 to 30 extra year, you're talking a $40 million payroll to $75 million payroll? That'd be cool. It's a lot different, man. Sure. A lot different ballgame. So, that's a big, big deal. They're going to announce it, they said sometime in May. So, running out of time. Going to see the Padres tonight? Look at you. Yeah. Oh. Wow. I haven't been to a game forever. And going to see the Padres tonight. Awesome. Give the old girl a chance again. That's right. It's interleague play tonight, which is pretty cool. Mariners? Yeah, the Mariners. Seattle Mariners. So it's Eric Bedard tonight against Matt Latos. You get to see pitch, who won his last start. And hopefully he's figuring it out. It's a good pitching matchup. Yeah, I'd like to see Heath Bell come out at the end of the night. Yep, absolutely. Let's see. Who's a star for the Mariners? Ichiro.
Oh, yeah. You got Ichiro. There's also a kid, Mike, you should watch. He's a first baseman named Justin Smoke. Yeah. Who's a really, really good player. Nice. But yeah, man, you'll have a good time. That's cool. You'll have a good time. Have you mapped out what you're going to get from the concessions, Daniel? Somebody asked me that. Have you thought about it? Somebody that's not from San Diego said, how's the concessions at Petco? Amazing. Yeah, it's great. It's great. And of course I have. I've got a, you know, made it on paper and it's just kind of weaving through. I want tacos. You have a plan of attack, right? Well, yeah. It's like a world tour of food. Nachos. Well, yeah, that would be Mexico. Then I'll move on to Japan and have some sushi. Go all American. Get like a hot dog. Hot dog. I want tacos and burritos. Well, you already got the nachos. All right. It's like walking back to his seat from the concessionaire. Ouch. Jay loves to play it. The good thing is they come to you in the ballpark. That's right. You won't have to overexert yourself. It's just Mikey standing up in his chair. All right. Well, you know, working out again. So I'm working out again. Hopefully soon. Be able to get past all that. So that means you've cut out all the fast food?
Jay? I'm just asking. I mean... Yes, I... So you didn't do anything yesterday? Anything special? Listen. Captain, call out. Good Lord. Wait. Yes, Woods and I had some McDonald's. We weren't supposed to say anything. Such a deed, Joe. You guys. Well, that lasted what, Mike? 18 minutes. Just trying to gain that 10 pounds back, Woods? I thought I'd celebrate LLB. I'm entitled. Why'd you tell everybody how you just ate it down? Man, you just sucked down another Big Mac. That's right, you grazer. You just grazing. Stored it in your chins. Oh, my gosh. How ironic is it that you couple cows walk in there and eat a couple cows, huh? Oh, man. I mean, just unbelievable. Just cannibalism, really, for y'all.
That's what it is. You know, I heard people ain't supposed to eat their own. But I guess in y'all's case, it don't matter. Just got to keep eating. You just got to eat. Got to get fat. Happy. Happy. Happy. So if you plan on going out this weekend and going to the movie, I just want to let you know that you're going to face long lines getting into the movie because of this. Check. Have you ever seen with your own eyes? I'm sorry, could you repeat the question, please? We know you're in possession of a map. You could guide an expedition. I could use a ship. How are there still adventures left? I don't know. What has become of my beloved pearl? Taken. Pirates of the Caribbean, the octopus of the lost pearl. It's the fourth installment, Pirates of the Caribbean on Stranger Ties.
Tides. And it's Johnny Depp. Penelope Cruz is first time in this one. Orlando Bloom gone. What's her name? Skinny girl. Kira Knightley gone. What? Their storyline ended. Yeah, they're done. This one is going to be following Johnny Depp, obviously. And he is forced onto Blackbeard ship by Angelica, who's Penelope Cruz, and used to help find the fountain of youth. I got the founding youth right here. Y'all ain't found it. It's in my backyard. It's in my veins. All you got to do is extricate a piece of my heel and then clone it. And you'll have the founding youth, obviously. I sell it to you. That's right. This one is two hours and 20 minutes. Perfect. They're always a little long, these movies. Two hours and 20 minutes. That's torture. Yes. Too long. I don't like pirates. I've never seen any of them. I don't like pirates. You're crazy. It's boring. No way. Your boyfriend's in it. I know my boyfriend's in it, but... Who's your boyfriend? Johnny Depp. You know that. That would be Woods' go-to if he had to with a man. That's what he said. Even if he didn't have to. All right. I'm saying, if I had to, if it had to be done, it'd be him. Very handsome.
I think he looks, can we discuss it like gentlemen? Sure, let's talk like men. Like real straight men. Let's talk like men about this. Yes. About how I disagree with you about how hot Johnny Depp is. Okay. Let's be gentlemen about it. Fine. He's greasy. I'm in on that. Okay. Hey, listen, fine. See, if it were me, I want the person to be clean cut. Okay, who's yours? Maybe Clooney. Sharp. I'm in, too. I can't deny it. I'm not going to fight you on yours. I'm just going to tell you what I'm in on. Okay, I need you to explain your fake gayness, though. Okay. Super talented. So let me get this straight. Talent goes a long way with me, pal. In the bedroom? Not in the bedroom. Wait, wait, wait. How crazy is this? When it comes to women, Woods admits he's shallow. Yes. But when it comes to men, it's about... Intellect. Personality. It's about personality and what's on the inside. It's a guy I'd want to hang out with. How? Like, I really feel like we're hitting on some gold right now. I just have to analyze it this weekend. He wants to cuddle afterwards and he wants to have good conversation. I like a talented guy. Write that down. Once his head is down.
Keep going. I need more. He's very talented. He's a great actor. I love his choices of movies he makes, except for these Pirates movies. Which you haven't seen. Which I haven't seen. Okay, then you definitely should judge them. Easy, Gene Siskel. You ride him? Why are you so defensive? All right, so you've explained it. Yeah. I feel sufficiently... He's a musician. He's a sharp guy. Oh, strange. He's got great hair. It's about looks with women, but with men, it's got, you know... He's cool. He doesn't have great hair. It's greasy. No, it's cool. It looks dirty. That's cool. It stinks. Did you ever see Blow? Yeah. He's brilliant in that movie. He's so sharp. Okay. Jay? Yes. What are those Pirates movies about? Pirates. Pirates. What? Pretty much, yeah. You don't know what they're about? No, dude. I've never seen them. Oh, girls. It's all about the search for treasure and then returning a treasure and then Keira Knightley. How come they keep talking about a pearl? Because it's the name of the boat. It's a ship. It's a pirate ship. It's just the best pirate ship out there. Come on. It is? They're great. Great franchise. You've seen it? Mm-hmm. And they're good at LB? Yeah. They're about looking for treasure. Yeah. All that stuff. All the adventure and the kooky mishaps that go along with it. He's funny. He's like a nice pirate, right? Well, no. He's not really nice. He just makes the right decision on a few occasions. Like he's a pirate with a heart? He's sort of like a Robin Hood type.
He's a rogue. I'd watch the first one. I heard that one's really good. It's one of the only movies that's been made that was, you know, the movie was developed from a ride. It's usually the other way around. But Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland existed first, and from that, they developed a movie. That ride's petrifying, by the way. It is. Yes. Didn't know. Didn't know until I went and took our child. Petrifying. It's petrifying. One of the worst fights my wife and I have ever had. Really? Yeah. Disneyland. Happiest place on earth. Except if you're Mike. Kids were fine. You were scared though, right? Yeah, kids were fine. I was scared that he was going to be scared. Yes. And I don't know if you've ever been on it. It's like being in a nightmare. It's like driving through Hell's Kitchen with your windows down. I mean, it's petrifying. I would have rather driven through East Los Angeles. shotgun with the guy that had the bricks thrown at his semi-truck. You're out of your mind. Then to go through that freaking ride with my son. It was so creepy and nightmarish. There's dead people tacked to the wall in chains and prison. You know that's not real, right? Yes, I know it's not real, but I'm 40. My kid's a kid. It's scary. Did he have that?
He was fine, you know. Did you? Did I get upset? Oh, yes. And then at the end of the night was when, see, we didn't get into it until the end of the night. And then at the end of the night was the big spectacular celebration that they do, right? What's that called? Fireworks? The big spectacular celebration. That's got something. I think it's called Fantasia. I don't know. They call it the BSC. The BSC. Yeah, the BSNC. Yeah, the BSNC. Easy, Garrett. And they fire off these, you know, fireworks and stuff, and then they have a display. Creep me out. Hey, make some noise in here. It's got a live studio. You all heard that the mother that gave her kid Botox injections had the kid taken away from her? Wait till you hear the latest. It's... I actually... When I heard, I laughed out loud. I laughed out loud when I heard, but we'll tell you what it is next. I have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got the world on a tail. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Yeah, boy! On FM 94.9. New, youthful, innovative. Lots of words mean fresh. Add Mercedes-Benz to the list.
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This report brought to you by Allstate. This Memorial Day means more traffic, more accidents. So before you head out, put yourself in good hands. Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you like Allstate. A little bit of slowing this morning on the 163 northbound between the 8 and the 805. It's in the mid-30s already in some spots. Not quite as bad as you make your way on the 805 southbound between La Jolla Village Drive and Mesa College Drive. Speeds are in the 40s there. This report brought to you by the San Diego Convention and Visitors Bureau. Embrace the Wild West during the annual Ramona Rodeo. first through the 22nd. For more East County adventures, visit sandiego.org slash East County. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm as feminine around my guy friends as I am around my wife. Lauren. My voice is always sweet. Woods. If I had my choice, I'd be sitting on a beach having a Marlboro, then doing nothing, sitting, playing my guitar, that's it. Sienna. I've always wanted to punch someone in the face. And Jay. I killed my first deer when I was seven. On FM 94.9. Woodsy was just noticing that Ella B. did something very nice. Very sweet. Yeah, it's just in my nature. I can't help it. She's a sweet person, and she was wishing one of our M1s a happy birthday. The M1 happened to be former San Diego Charger Kasim Osgood, who's her friend on Facebook. But, you know, hey, listen, you know. I take it back like my men. Okay, fine. I'm just saying.
On a roll this morning, I almost picked up somebody in my first two minutes, 30 seconds in the building. L.O.B. walked into the building this morning, and there was this tall, good-looking black dude standing there. And L.O.B. came into the studio, and I was sitting here, and she goes, Hey, Mike, did you see that black dude when you walked in? And I go, Yeah. She told me a story and I thought she was just being funny. Like, cause we, we give her a hard time because she likes black guys. Now, which is funny too, because at the station that I used to work at, there was a girl on that show named Sky that liked black dudes. And I remember thinking to myself when I came here, I wonder if people are going to think that I like told L.O.B. to say that because of, you know, Sky is like, no, she thinks black guys are good looking.
It's been a thing, yeah. It's her thing, you know? And so anyway, so she says, she goes, yeah. She goes, well, you asked me if I had a girlfriend and then noticed I didn't have a ring. A boyfriend. A boyfriend. You asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said, no. Then she said, you have a husband, didn't notice a ring. And I thought she was kidding. No, dude was really like, hey, girl. Yeah. You got a boyfriend? We knew each other for 15 seconds. What did he say? You got a husband? Oh, no, no ring. You got a boyfriend? She goes, no. Well, no to the husband. No to the husband. No to the husband. Easy math. Easy math. No to the husband. I said, no husband, yes boyfriend. And what did he say? I was just asking. Who are you? Balls. I'm telling you, man. I'm telling you. No shame, no fear. No fear. No fear. There's nothing to be ashamed of, but no fear. Shame of getting rejected. I've asked girls, hey, how you doing? They've been like, good. You know, but that's shame. Yeah. Or fear. No fear of shame. Yeah, he has no fear of shame. Wow. No shame of fear, really. I guess when you got it, you got it. Yeah. Longer than it's ever been. True statement, too. He was very tall. He was tall. Yeah, he was. But I would have said it that way. I would have said taller than he's ever been. Yeah. Sign me up for that. We get it, Ella B. You like the guy. We get it. Gigantic. Ella B. He was tall. Please. Give him that.
We get it. You like them. Patch it up. We're going to be telling you about this mom that gave the... How old is her kid? Eight. Big story. We were talking about this mom had an eight-year-old that she put in pageants and was giving her Botox. Admitted to it on Good Morning America. Freaked the world out, you know. Anyway, we got an update on that. And then the dead arm duel at 7.30. That's right. Two of us. It'll either be... It'll be two out of the three of us. Me, Woods, and Jay. Can Chris take my spot? Nope. Cannot. Why would you want to hurt him? It's true. Yeah, that's true. And the word of the day is clock. And I have not said it yet. So the mom that said the stuff about the Botox, she actually had her kid taken away from her. Right, Sienna? Yeah. The kid was taken away. And anyway, her name is... Brittany. Oh, that's the daughter's name, Brittany. Yeah, the daughter's name is Brittany, but the mom's name, I believe, is Carrie Campbell. And here's what she said. Okay, I have a close person, kind of like a family member, who is in contact with the Sun newspaper or Sun tabloid, whatever it is. They approached me and they had asked me if I wanted to do a small article. Nothing big would never come over here.
Just me and my daughter and make a few hundred bucks. It's just normal pictures and we went to a local nail salon and They had asked the nail salon to Use the wax room just so they can Do a photo inside the wax room and that's what they did. It was just a photo nothing was done We were just right there and then they told... Sienna, do you know what the photo is? Is it like her getting Botox? I saw it. About her holding it up, the needle up to her face, but not actually injecting it. And also the little girl with ice bags on her cheeks. Yeah. Like laying there like... Sick. Now she's saying that it was all fake and put on by the Sun tabloid and that they paid her to pretend that this was happening. We had to hold like a plastic, it was like a medicine syringe, no needle, just the medicine syringe and act like... Medicine syringe. Yeah. As opposed to what? Well, just a syringe. Candy syringe. Candy syringe. They use it to give the kids... Oil syringe. You know, medicine into the mouth, like that kind of syringe. But it wasn't one of those, was it? I have those for my dogs. It wasn't one of those, though, was it? They look the same. There's no needle on there. You couldn't see the needle. There's a hole. There's a hole. Yeah. Oh, that's kind of weak. That's dumb. Why would anybody believe that anyway? Dunno.
If it's one of those deals that you put medicine in and squirt into an infant's mouth, why would people think that this kid was getting shot with Botox? I was just holding it up and like bend down. So I just did that and bend down. I asked what the story was pertaining. They said it's just a salon day with your daughter and that's it. Yeah, it's just a salon day with your daughter. Put a syringe in your hand. Yeah. But what is the story about? It's about moms that like to take their kids to the salon. Now, put the syringe in your hand and put it up to her face. You know, just like you did when you were a little girl with mom at the salon. Your mom at the salon. That's right. Do not worry about it. I mean, hello. Have you never been to salon with mom? It's never going to come out here. Trust me. But I don't understand. Why am I putting a syringe to my child? Because I gave you 300 quid. I know, but you said that I'm supposed to just be a story of taking the girl to the salon. Correct. Here's the thing. Don't ask so many questions. Okay. I know you're female. It's in your nature. Right.
To question everything. Everything under the sun, just do as you tell. No pun intended on the sun. Correct. Everything under the sun. I could actually see it, though, if... This child is trying to be, let's say, like an actress. Yeah. And they're like, hey, we want to come out and we want to do this bit. We're going to do this bit. And it's, you know, we want you to act, play along with it. Yeah. And she's like, oh, okay, you know, 300 bucks and we're just doing a bit kind of thing. Right, right, right. Not a real deal. An acting job. An acting job. And so then it comes out and she's, then all of a sudden she's upside down and her daughter's being taken away. I'd be. I'd be upset. Yeah. But she lied on Good Morning America. And not only did she, the mother, lie, but she told her eight-year-old to because the eight-year-old said, I got four needles worth of Botox injections into her face to get away with lines. That's crazy. She says that Good Morning America, which is where she was on TV, that they didn't do any research to see if it was legit.
When Good Morning America first talked to you, did they ask you questions to try and figure out if you were telling the truth or lying? No, they didn't ask me any questions to try to figure out anything. In fact, we all sat in a room and ordered breakfast and did anything. They didn't ask me. In fact, I didn't sign any papers with Good Morning America or ABC. Yet you say Good Morning America offered you $10,000. No, they didn't offer me $10,000. To make it clear, I was not paid by ABC, Good Morning America, Inside Edition. I was getting paid by a company, which actually isn't, it's actually not the son that was paid me initially. It's like the single company. Good Morning America was supposed to... I get it. It's all coming together. You got that? I'm starting to get it. I'm starting to figure it out. Why the reluctance to say that the son paid her? Obviously, the son said, you can't tell anybody.
But they didn't just say it. You don't act like that unless somebody made you sign something. Yep. Saying that we'd sue you if you say it. If you open your bloody mouth, we just want you to know. We're going to sue the punts off. Zip your lip. Zip your lip. And you do as you told. We put the pictures in the papers. This is $300. This is $300. I was spending it all in one place. I paid $10,000. Inside Edition was paying $9,500. They take their fee and then they were paying me. Weird. Weird. In the end of it, they were supposed to pay me $15,000. She creeps. That voice creeps me out. It's petrifying. Her voice makes my heart beat faster. I feel like I'm watching the real world. Yeah. I've gotten a total of $5,000. Good morning, America. Never asked you questions to figure out if you were telling the truth or lying. Never. Not at all. Not an identification. Not one thing. Well, it isn't their fault. But it is irresponsible journalism. Due diligence. She's a big fat liar. She is. She be on trial. Yeah, she is. Yeah, and she is. But I also think that the story is that Good Morning America and ABC are completely irresponsible. You know, I mean, they are. And so is she. Well, I kind of see Jay's point, too. It's like, no, I don't. They paid her to lie. Yeah. And they paid her to ask her kid to lie.
It's not an acting job. Now, here she says she was manipulated. I know I made a bad decision on what I did, and I obviously have gotten all the repercussions from it. You're listening to Botox Mom, all right, if you're just tuning in. Botox Mom is the mom that said that she had a daughter in a pageant, eight-year-old, that she gave Botox shots to, and then they took her kid away. Well, it turns out it was all phony. The Sun tabloid in Britain gave her money to say it. That's right. However, I was really pushed into it. I feel like I was kind of... They held a gun to my head? I don't believe anything she's saying. They verbally raped me to do this. I had to do it. I didn't have a choice. They held a bunch of Benjamins up to her head. Right. I wasn't going to say this. They put a shotgun.
inside my mouth yes they did and they and they held it there and they said listen you're either gonna say this or you're gone do you like the taste of metal in your mouth how's that for you open feast on this feast on this manipulated and taken advantage of it was bad decision on my part and it wasn't supposed to be this at all it was supposed to be something really little that blew up to be like really big Shut up. Miguel, I saw another thing last night. I was watching some information on this. Some of her friends have come out and said that she is 1,000% obsessed with reality television. And she just wanted to be on TV. It had such a big part of it. She wanted to be on TV. She wanted people to know who she was. It was like the Balloon Boy incident. It was just a big hoax. Is that creepy? What a clown. That's so creepy to me. This was funny. So our phone screener crawled. It's crawled. It's crawled. Came out of school yesterday, and the whole back of his car was covered in bird poop. So he went into school, normal car, comes out of school, white windshield. Oh, no. And he's like, why me?
You know, because he's looking at the cars around him. And they targeted him. Okay, these birds, these birds, for whatever reason, were like, that is a good crapper. They were profiling him. They were profiling him. They were either racially or, you know, somehow, you know, maybe it was his gender. But for some reason, they were like, that guy right there, that car, we're pooping on it. In their defense. There was a giant bag of birdseed taped to the back of his car when he left here yesterday. In their defense, he had spray painted the roof of his car with a sign that said, please poop on my car. Poop here. Okay. In his defense, he's got a toilet on the top of his car. Birds just know. They can sense people and they're just like, hey, that guy's not a good guy. Jay. Jay. Let me just tell you. Chris. The phone screener is the sweetest. Without question. He's the sweetest human. So you believe. He's the sweetest human. And Jay. Jay hates him. Jay will be like, I'm going to kill him. He hates a strong word. I want to kill him. Listen, y'all. Quit kissing his butt. You're going to give him a big head. And I'm sick of it. All right? I'll fire him right now. I don't even care. Oh, you think he's so sweet, don't you?
I'll fire him. I'll kill him. I just can't. Listen, I'm sick of all the racial slurs coming out of his mouth. Jay's never said a racial slur in his life. Hasn't he? Y'all don't sit out here. You don't sit out here. The other day we were getting off the air. Hillary was on the air. And something happened to the array with this little button bar. And something started playing over the music that 94.9 was playing. And nobody hit anything. And Jay's like, I know who it was. Yeah, I'm sure it was Chris. He's in there punching buttons. Just hitting stuff randomly. Chris wasn't even in the studio. No, he probably wasn't in the state. He was probably in Milwaukee. He was in class. He was trying to set some sound preferences. I know who did it. He was crossing an old lady across the street. He was helping her. He was like, come on, Jay. He was nursing an injured fawn back to life. With a bottle of milk. It was from him. He should have been giving the milk to his own child, but he sacrificed his own child to milk himself to give the milk. to the fawn, to nurse the fawn back to health. In the Lincoln Financial parking lot. It was unbelievable. And he knew people must have thought that it was odd, A, that he still had a pump attached to himself, and B, that he had this bottle of milk in a fawn's mouth. He also had a lab coat on, because after that he was going over to the lab to help research the cure for AIDS. That's right. That's 100% correct. That's 100% right. Have you guys ever been
Pooped on by a bird. Oh, yeah. Yes, in my hair. In your hair? Mm-hmm. Where were you, L.O.B.? I was at the Bro-Am, the Switchfoot concert, in front of thousands of people last year. Super. And it pooped on my head, and I thought that somebody sprayed me with water, so I stood there for about 20 minutes, and then went like this, and I freaked out. It smelled like trash and fish. Yeah. Perfect. Trash and fish. Did you feel like... Caleb from Kings and Leon, because they got pooped on by pigeons. I kept playing the bass. You did? I don't even know how to play the bass, but I was like, the show must go on. Well, yeah, it should. Kings and Leon got pooped on by pigeons. Walked off the stage. Several hundred pigeons. Went back and did a free concert. Why not thousands? Why don't we just say several million pigeons pooped on them? You don't worry about them. All right. Yeah, I was in line at Legoland. Weird. With my child and my wife. And got me in the back of my bald, my shaved head. Just Elmer's glue. Hand, napkin. Napkin. Never hand, bro. Okay. Well, what if you didn't know what it was? My immediate reaction would go, oh, what was that? When Elmer's glue falls on the top of your head and you have a bald head, you know what it is. If you don't have a bald head.
You probably think it's something. You probably think it's something else. They're flying over. They're like, oh, that's Mikey. That's right. Let's get him. Let's get him. We like the show. This one's for the show. So anyway, how about you? Where were you pooped on? High school, middle of lunchtime. Everyone laughed. It was right on my forehead. On your forehead? Oh, yeah. Bam, forehead. I'm surprised you didn't quit school and move. I know. Everyone was like, boop. I mean, all fingers pointed out. Bird poop. Then your BP. Your bird poop. Your BP. Easy BP. Think she got red. Yeah. Think her face got red. Think her face got red. It's a little bit. How about you, Woods? Never. Never? Never. Jay? Oh, I had a big plate of food sitting in my lap. Family reunion. Right across my plate in my legs. I was like, uh. Oh, what if he didn't notice? I still ate it. Oh, yeah. I ain't going to throw it away. I ain't wasting food, y'all. I ate around it. I just ate around it. Hit to that. Gross. Guaranteed.
I was so hungry. I was, like, so ready to dive in. You know what stinks about that is that, besides what it actually is, the thing about it is that you're at, when you are at a barbecue, when you go to a barbecue, especially, like, a family barbecue, and you have, you get your paper plate. When you sit down, you've made the perfect plate. Oh, perfection. Because everybody, when they get their barbecue stuff, makes it in their own special little perfect way. So you've got your perfect amount of macaroni salad. You have your perfect amount of chicken. You have your perfect amount of whatever you're going to get. It's all on there perfectly. You got your piece of bread, like your roll is on there. And maybe you went and you're like, oh, tortilla chips. So you get like three or four and you like put them in a particular spot on there. And you're like, oh, potato chips. You get some potato chips and you put two of them on there. And you're like, oh.
Wait a minute. Grapes. Before I leave, grapes. And you get three or four. You put those on there in a particular way. And you, like, come sit down. And you have your perfect little, it's almost like a cheese plate of barbecued food. And then a bird poos on it. There was no more corn on the cob. Ow! That just hurt my soul. So I dipped it in the creek. I dipped it in the creek. It was fine. The creek. I dipped it in the creek. It was all right. M1 Sanjaya in the Hizu. And by the way. That guy's barbecue. Oh. I need my chicken. He introduced me. El Norte? Is that what it's called? El Norte Market? Yeah. El Norte Market. If you've never heard of this place. Now, understand this right now. You're basically, it's like transporting yourself into Tijuana. You're going to Mexico when you walk into this place. Know how to speak Spanish. Or bring an interpreter. Yeah, I mean, seriously. But they, if you like ceviche. Their ceviche is amazing. It's amazing. The shrimp one that you brought in? Yes. So hot. So hot. So delicious. He, I tasted that. I went to the, I go, where, where, where? Because it was like crack, you know, shrimp crack. I go, where did this come from? He goes, El Norte Market. Next day, I was there. The next day. Weird. The Border Patrol has made the largest bologna bust ever. I'll explain. I'll explain.
I thought you said baloney. I did. Oh. That's why I said Mikey. Is that code for something? Heroin? No. It is not. Oh, baloney. Does anyone want to hear about L.O.B. accidentally flashing people? Every day. Um. Not again. Oh, boy. You got me. I'll tell you next. You got me good. Sorry, buddy. Let's make some noise with our live studio audience. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time, you know what I mean? Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Performing Peter Pugh.
Are sold out. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubby's and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. Here at the Coors, our viewpoint hasn't changed in nearly 140 years. Because right outside our window, is a stunning view of the Rockies, the only place legendary Coors Banquet beer has ever been brewed. Banquet is made with only Rocky Mountain water and the best high country barley for that smooth, full-flavored taste. We've been doing it that way since 1873, and like the mountains themselves, that's not about to change. If your views are anything like ours,
then you know a good thing when you see it. It's in that cold banquet bottle right there on the bar. Coors with beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Coors Banquet believes with great beer comes great responsibility. If a car drove by recently, they made you point and say, how cool, what is that? Chances are you spotted the all-new Ford Fiesta. Quite possibly the perfect car for San Diego. Yeah, it's a pretty big deal. Sure, Fiesta's a compact car, but you don't have to compromise a thing. You'll get up to 40 miles per gallon on the highway. Hey, there are 21 hybrids that don't get that kind of MPG. Seriously. The interior looks like the cockpit of a Learjet. And it's quiet. Spooky quiet. If you dig technology, you'll dig this car. Fiesta's available with hands-free sync. Say a command, and it'll dial your phone or play your favorite tunes. What happened last night? I can't find my super big gulp cup.
What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup. All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven, but what happened after that? Hey, I think we got kidnapped by a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah, and they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Hola, mi amigos. No way. He's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right. And he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait. Didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah. I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub. Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today. Only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie The Hangover Part 2 in theaters May 26th. This is the sound of Jim at a ball game realizing he forgot to stop by the bank. Oh, I promised my wife I'd deposit these checks. This is the sound of Charles, a Chase banking customer at the same game remembering the same thing. Oh, I totally forgot to deposit these checks.
Jim. Ugh, now I gotta leave the game early. I didn't even get a hot dog. Charles. I'll just use Chase Quick Deposit and deposit my checks from right here. With Chase Quick Deposit, you can deposit checks safely and securely from anywhere, including Section 100, Row 5, Seat 12. Simply take a picture of the front and back of your check with Chase Quick Deposit on your smartphone. Hit send, and you're done. Now that's a step forward. This is the sound of Jim trying to leave early so he can deposit his checks. Excuse me. Pardon me. Hey! Sorry, pal. This is the sound of Charles after catching a fly ball and depositing his three checks. Chase Quick Deposit. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Chase Quick Deposit is now available for select smartphones. Enroll in Chase online and download Chase Mobile App. Subject to eligibility, deposits subject to verification. Not available for media withdrawal. Limits, terms, and conditions apply. Message and data rates from your service provider may apply. See chase.com slash quick deposit for details and eligible smartphones. J.P. Morgan Chase, make any member of DIC. The president and founder of Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Angelo DeMonte. If you're ready for a new car, today is the day to come to Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. For as low as $349 a month, you can be driving a brand new Mercedes-Benz. My grandfather always said it only costs a little bit more to get the best. Well, you know what? Now you can have the best for $349 a month. That's less than many other makes or models that are not in the class of a Mercedes-Benz. There are fine automobiles out there. They are not Mercedes-Benz. For $349 a month, you can be driving the best today at Mercedes-Benz of Escondido.
People locally and all over Southern California come to Mercedes-Benz of Escondido not only for the price, but for the quality of treatment that they receive. The relationships are what it's all about. Based on a 33-month lease, customer down payment $27.50 plus dealer document fee, taxes and license. Mercedes, we're back. and the folks at McDonald's drop by the studio. With the new jalapeno cheddar McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and the new cheddar onion McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and from the looks of these beauties, $1.49 is a real deal. I see your jalapeno cheddar McChicken has melted white cheddar, and is that hot jalapeno salsa? Oh, wow, spicy. I did not see that coming, McDonald's. Oh, and the grilled onions on this cheddar onion McChicken are incredible big cheesy taste. Hey, switch with me. I like a take-charge man. I like a lady who's spicy. Cut. to commercial. McDonald's new spicy jalapeno cheddar McChicken and savory cheddar onion McChicken. The simple joy of cheesy deliciousness with spicy jalapeno salsa or grilled onions. Just a buck forty nine each. That was so tasty. You got a little cheese on here. That's not cheese.
It's an onion. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up again to give you the summer's best discount. Now adults and kids can save $20 on a single-day admission. Visit your local McDonald's today for details and get your exclusive SeaWorld discount coupon. Circus Circus Las Vegas has fun for all ages. You'll be amazed by the world-class circus acts in the Adventure Dome theme park that features 25 rides and attractions. You can get your game on with over 200 carnival and arcade games. Take advantage of the Circus Circus five-day sale now through May 20th. Save 50% off lowest rates and kids eat free. You'll also receive great resort extras like two well drinks, two premium rides, two midway games, and so much more. Visit circuscircus.com for more information. Kids are saving men for taste points at awesome summer discounts. So man up at tastepoints.com today. Open only to legal California residents 21 or older. Boyd will pay a limited time promotion. Will offer begins 5-1-11 and then 7-30-1-11. Full terms and conditions at tastepoints.com. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Great beer, great responsibility. Auto Glass Center, now offering new windshields starting at $99 and $34.99 chip repair with lifetime warranty. 5955 Mira Mesa Boulevard, fast and convenient, same-day service with the lowest prices guaranteed. Auto Glass Center, 858-216-4300. That's 858-216-4300. The weekend is here. It's time to hit the road, have some fun, and explore all that San Diego has to offer. And remember, shop at Ralph's, and for a limited time, earn double reward points with your shell receipt.
See store for details. Turn your groceries into earnings every day at Shell. This report is brought to you by Kohl's Department Store. Get to Kohl's incredible savings sale this Friday through Sunday. Shop power hours Friday 3 to 11 and Saturday 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. The more you know, the more you Kohl's. Kohl's expect great things. On the 15 southbound in Escondido right after the 78 two-car crash, that number one lane is blocked. Also the 15 southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway. It's stop and go in the teens in most places. The 805 drive on the southbound side between La Jolla Village Drive and Mesa College Drive. Starting to bunch up as well. This report also brought to you by McDonald's. It's back. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks, only 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Last time I stole, I was five. I used to stick bubble gum down my pants. Lauren.
Today would be so much better if I had my kombucha. What I like to do also is I clip my toenails sometimes as a little treat. I like to put them on Jamie's pillow. When they're real, you know. And Jay. Oh, I've pumped water from ditches that you would not believe. On FM 94.9. This song is so funny on multiple levels. Just, I mean, it's like an onion that you can keep peeling it back, you know. A man named Ted. Yeah. I want to try one more take. Okay. Take four. Somebody bring the picture of Ted in here while I sing. The blue frame. Idiot. Stupid. I can't even see. He's got sunglasses in this picture. Sir Elton. All of a sudden I'm Irish. Sir Elton. Yeah. Ted doesn't really work. It's one syllable. We need a monosyllabic. Two syllables.
Think of another name to call Ted. I'm not going to sing Ted Eyes, dummy. No, Blue Eyes, Ted Has Got Blue Eyes doesn't work. Why doesn't it work? Because it's one syllable. Ted has, I see what you're saying. I need, like, Danny. Danny, no, I don't know Danny. I've never done a song called Danny. Danny Song. No, Daniel. Hello, same thing. I mean, if you shorten it, it's Danny. It's really apples and oranges. I'll take it to the house, then. No, I mean, we'll try it, but why don't I just say baby? And bring me a picture where there's no sunglasses. I'm not just to see blue eyes. Done. All right, let's try again from the top. Ever get pictures on Facebook where people take pictures of the words blue eyes? Yeah. Because of that? Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, in case you didn't know, today is bike to work day. Sure is. Mikey and Woods absolutely biked in here today. Oh, yeah. Of course. Tandem. Tandem, yes. Tandem. It actually is an annual thing. It occurs the third Friday of every May, and so it's just a good green thing to do. We left at 5 p.m. last night. Right, yeah, just got here. Just got here. And actually, there's a new record this year for pit stops. There's a bunch of pit stops set up throughout San Diego, 75 this year, where you can get free T-shirts, water, snacks, and a lot of encouragement. Cool. Also, if you bike to work, MTS is offering, for those who biked, a free ride on all the transit systems.
So really cool. Also, I guess the second time was the charm for Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who's the head of the IMF. Yesterday, he was granted a $1 million bail on his sexual assault and attempted rape charges. But there are some conditions attached. He is ordered confined to a New York City apartment being rented by his wife, who apparently is still with him. However, he's being watched by an armed guard 24-7, and he also had to take out a $5 million insurance bond. IMF is international maid fondling. Monetary fondling. Monetary fondling. But a lot of people have made that mistake. What's going on in sports? Padres won a close one last night. Orlando Hudson just activated from the DL, hit a sacrifice fly in the ninth inning, and the Padres won one to nothing over the Brewers. There you go. Offensive explosion. Real good. Hey, a win is a win. Who cares how they get them? Heath Bell pitched the top of the ninth. Got another save. Weird. And also, Kevin Durant went off for 24 points against the Dallas Mavericks. The Oklahoma City Thunder have evened their series with the Mavericks in the Western Conference Finals. They won 106-100. Word of the day is clock. Haven't said it yet. When I do, Caller 9 gets tickets to go see Eddie Vedder at Copley Symphony Hall and also tickets to the San Diego County Fair. So be listening for me to say that in a little bit. Dead arm duel happening at 7.30. Me, Jay, or Woods will be getting punched in the arm.
You guys heard of that company, LinkedIn? Of course. Have you ever seen that website, LinkedIn? Big player in my old... People invite you to their networks. Yeah, they invite you to their networks. It's people that maybe they know you, they work, and it's like a business thing. It's kind of a Facebook business. Yeah, I used it so much in my last job. So much. LinkedIn. LinkedIn, yep. Well, they went on the market yesterday. You could buy stock in them. Nice. And they opened at $45 a share. And they closed. At $96 a share. One day. One day on the market. I know. Shocking. Now where are they going? Where is it going to go from there? Where will it go from there? Where will it go? Where will the stock go? The stock, where will it go? Dude. Weird. It's one of those things that, you know, apparently people dig it and they're going to like it and they're going to get on it. It's great for business. LinkedIn to Facebook. Good. By the way, speaking of, you know, Internet sites and speaking of finances and things like that, how about little monetary advice, some financial advice? Who do you get your financial advice from? Mikey. Or Jay. Maybe Raekwon from the Wu-Tang Clan. That'd be good. I do. Yeah, who doesn't? Illinois Senate Republican leader Christine.
Radgano getting up to talk about financial advice from the Wu-Tang Clan. Senator Radano, for what reason do you rise? Point of personal privilege. State your point. Well, after that debate, I think this will be a relevant point of personal privilege. Some of you may know that last night Raekwon from the Wu-Tang Clan was in town. And I got some financial advice from him, which I would like to share with all of you because it does seem quite relevant. Their advice to us is, the most precious thing in the world is the financial security and well-being of your family. You want to send your little ones to the best school, and in the end, you want to know you left them with peace of mind. Nowadays, we all know that cash rules everything around us. Kareem, get the money. Dollar, dollar bill, y'all. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. Yeah! Isolate. Isolate. The Kareem. Dollar, dollar bill, y'all. Dollar, dollar. Wow. I think it'll come as a shock to a lot of people because the last one you probably thought was the biggest, but no. Officially, the biggest baloney bust ever has taken place. Yes, there is, in fact, such a thing as contraband lunch meat. And apparently the largest bust of baloney just happened in Santa Teresa, New Mexico, at the point of entry over there. U.S. Customs and Border Protection seized.
385 pounds of bologna. That's enough, just if you wanted to know, for 4,000 sandwiches. Bologna is prohibited to bring into the... 3,220. You can't bring bologna into the country because it's made from pork and it has the potential to introduce foreign animal disease to the U.S. pork industry. So you can't be bringing that stuff in, especially 4,000 sandwiches worth of bologna. Hey. You. The little guy. Put your hands up where I can see him. Put your hands up. Step away from the truck. Step away from the truck. What did I do? Do you want to explain this to me? This truck full of baloney? It's baloney. Are you a distributor? It's all for personal use. 385 pounds? Yeah, but it's for me. I'm not going to distribute it. You're a distributor. You need to put your hands behind your back. I'm not. You're a freaking baloney dealer. I don't have the intent to distribute. Don't you? To me. Distribute it to yourself. I'm going to distribute it to me. A baloney truck. I'm touching my baloney. Give me food. So, L-O-B.
Lauren O'Brien, the cute little blonde sitting over here to our right. Oh, yeah. She has a boyfriend. His name is Matt Commerce. We call him Boyfriend Matt Commerce or BFMC. And he is a musician, and he will play sometimes at nursing homes to the old folks at the nursing homes. And L.O.B. went to the nursing home, correct? Yes. One of the ones that he was at. Yeah. Every once in a while, I'll pop in. Actually, he plays at Sienna's Grandmother's. That's nice. Oh, yeah. How about that? They know each other. She wore a dress, L.O.B. did, to OSI. OSI was our big sticker event over at Qualcomm. And this particular dress. Yeah, she did. Okay. This particular dress had a little bit of a problem. And that is that it rode up in the back. Yeah. Rode up to the point where. You had to put something around your waist, like a sweater or sweatshirt? Sienna, I had told her, hey, sometimes this dress has a tendency to ride up because it's got a slip underneath. Will you just let me know if you see anything? She's like, yeah, got it. Within three minutes, she came running over with her sweater. Sienna did for me to tie her on my waist. It's got a see-through, too. It's lacy at the bottom. Wow, it sounds like you could describe it to a police sketch artist, Jay. Well, see-through on the bottom, but there was specifically a slip.
So that all you were seeing in the see-through part was leg. Yeah. You know, not a big deal. But it rides up. Is that the deal with it? Yeah, because my butt doesn't go straight down. It sticks out, you know, junk in the trunk. In the trunk. So sometimes it makes things back there lift up. Yeah. Well, probably preferable to a lot of men and women. It's like us with our shirts. Yeah, you know, but different. Our shirts will tend to ride. The only difference between the two, I guess, would be that one would be considered sexy and one... Wouldn't. Hideous. Yeah. So anyway, she wore the same dress to the old folks home. Oh, yeah. Smart. Yeah. And an old lady came up to you. Yes. And what did she say? Well, I was giving some of the residents like hugs and stuff. They're big huggers over there. And I guess I was like bending down and then stuff stayed where it was. And some older lady came up to me and she said, dear. Hello, dear. You're giving everybody a show that would make a sailor blush. Oh, my God. You're giving everybody a show that would make a sailor blush. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hello, darling. I'm not adverse to lovemaking. Don't get me wrong. In fact, I once had a love affair with a man on a big boat called the Titanic. You may have heard of it. And on that boat, I even...
allowed him to draw a portrait of me while I was nude. So I'm no stranger to sexualization. However, I must tell you, your undergatherings are being presented. Your unmentionables. Your unmentionables are being presented. Hold on, let me let my hair down. Put it back up, put it back up. What's wrong? I just look like one of the kings of Leon from the early records. What's the problem? You know who Crystal Gale is, dear. Yes. Only it's gray. My hair looks like the beard from ZZ Top. That's on my head. Imagine if the guys from ZZ Top were 84. That's what my hair looks like. Anyway, darling, please put away your private parts. Pardon my French, but you look like a whore. A flooze. A tuba tassi. A slut. Let's call a spade a spade. You look like a street walker. That's right. Your nickname should be TJ for TJ Hooker. That's awesome. Only L.O.B. Did you blush? Oh, yeah. And then I had to sit there the rest of the show. Feeling like a monster. Listen to songs from the 1920s and just be like, yeah, flashed everybody. That must be fun.
Yeah. The 1920s songs. It's a good time. Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Did you know last night was Katie Couric's Last Night on CBS Evening News. And now, as many of you know, this is my final broadcast on the Evening News. It's been an extraordinary privilege to sit in this chair and a real honor to work with so many talented people here at CBS News. And to all of you. I'd like to thank Les Moonbees for ruining my career. Thank you so much for coming along with me on this incredible journey. That's the CBS Evening News for tonight. I'm Katie Couric. Good night. Farewell. Get. Shoe fly. But now, Sully, you know the hero pilot. is actually coming to work on the network. Did you know that? Whoa. On CBS? He was hired by the network to be their aviation and safety expert. Oh. So goodbye, Katie Couric. Hello, Sully. People don't like to watch women present the evening news. Oh, boy. By people, you mean your wife. No, I mean people. That's why she's not making it. You're a dead man. No, no, no. This is data. It's true fact. It's true fact. The show didn't get good ratings, and that's why she's out. Maybe just because she's terrible. She was in the last place. Man or woman.
She's just terrible. Yeah, well, she was in last place. Wow. Now, if they hired you, LOB, to be the new president over at CBS, would you hire another woman to come and sit in the chair? If she was really, really good. Probably not. Yeah. I think that the idea is that even women, well, my wife, say that they prefer to have a guy give them the news. If it's what you grew up with. Preferably an old guy. I like the old guy behind the mic. Me too. Walter Cronkite. An older guy makes you feel like he knows what's up. Yeah, comfortable. I feel like he somehow can report on a tornado better than a young chap. Hot. Or a hot woman. Yeah. Remain calm. Yeah. During crises. I'd like to see Jay deliver the news on CBS. Oh, my God. Hit me. Hit me. Can we get a teleprompter in here and have Jay read from it, please? Let's do it. Well, I used to.
I used to be a newscaster back in the days when it was still done on Morse code. 1641. This was me reporting. This was John Wilkes Booth is dead. Who has the Apple story? I do. Go ahead, Sienna. Mike, you're not going to believe this. Aren't I? You will. There's been a new study that Apple fans, people that love Apple, there's actually something in the brain that triggers a reaction that's just like religion. Just like religion. So if you're really into religion, it triggers that same thing with Apple. A religious...
You have a religious experience with Apple products, they say. They say religious devotees. Neuroscientists actually did an MRI test on Apple fanatics and discovered that the images of the company's gadgets lit up that part of the brain just like religion does for people that have had an experience. Right. In other words, to put it in layman's terms, it's as if Apple were some sort of deity. Wow. Foss Idol. That's right. It's like a worship. It's like a Foss Idol. It's like seeing an apple and thinking it looks like Jesus' face. Right. There's a bite out of it. There's a bite out of it. Adam and Eve. Uh-oh. Now check this out. Yeah. Now check this out. I have an interesting take on this. I think that I may have found some other brands that have the same religious effect on the human brain. The San Diego Chargers. Star Wars, Star Trek, my girlfriend Kelly, my son Tim's success at the Naval Academy, Mercedes-Benz, the New York Yankees, Harry Potter, Twilight, Minolta, Canon, Nikon, Taylor Guitars, My Job, the Dow Jones Industrial Average. These are all things that we can have a tendency to really have.
our hope in you know we we sort of we sort of go oh yeah like when the new harry potter movie comes out we are there dressed up and we're standing in line for the new harry potter well we're not we're not nerds are well some people do nerds are we're not your wife is there yes my wife would be there comic con comic con all right is is there not a religious experience going on at comic con no question no question yeah Or a Trekkie convention. Well, I mean, I totally agree. When you said the Yankees, it makes or breaks my day a lot of times. Truly. Yeah. I'm like, really? And you know they're always going to be there. Some of these things like Twilight aren't always going to be around. Apple, you're pretty sure that they're sticking around. Well, you know, if you're into it, then you think they are. 570-1949 is our number. So when we come back, we're going to do something called the Dead Arm Duel. No, we're not. Should we? Should we pick now or should we wait? Yes, pick now. Just get it over with. All right, so Sienna is going to draw two names out of a basket. There will be three names in the basket. Jay, Woods, and Mikey. I went past today. You guys go ahead. Oh, no, Jay. Y'all ain't going to hurt my feelings if you take my name out of the basket. Taking off the ring that's on my right hand just in case. Just in case. Okay, the names are in the basket. Go ahead, Sienna.
Two names have to be drawn. I know today I'm it. The first one? Woods. Jay. Damn it! One of you guys is in big trouble. Mikey! Give me one break. Let me catch one break. The second name is? One break. I want to see it. Mike. Yes! It's like I got paroled. Oh, boy. Yes! Oh, no. He hits so hard. Oh, he punches. Gonna warm up in here. Oh, no! I've been waiting for this one. I can't wait. I can't wait. Hit me. Make some noise in our live studio audience. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes.
Stop it. Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What's next? Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9. We know you want ultimate performance and ultimate fuel efficiency. So now BMW Encinitas is making it easier to drive a new BMW. Now you can lease a new 2011 535i sedan with the ultimate MPG. 30 highway miles per gallon for just... $579 a month plus tax. And with BMW picking up your first four years or 50,000 miles maintenance, you'll save thousands over the life of your BMW. Going on now at BMW Encinitas. Get the ultimate savings and ultimate fuel efficiency. A 535i with 30 miles per gallon for just $579 a month. BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or visit us online at BMWEncinitas.com. Now you can.
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Looking for a great lunch deal in the neighborhood? One with tons of choices and endless refills? Then come check out Applebee's new all-you-can-eat soup salad and bread for just $6.99. You heard right, never-ending refills of our piping hot, hearty soups, fresh salads, and warm garlic ciabatta bread. Try as many as you like and eat as much as you like. The possibilities are endless. Go for a classic Caesar salad with French onion soup, then switch it up with a spinach salad and tomato basil soup. Want more soup? More salad? More bread? Just say the word. And for just a little more, you can step it up to one of Applebee's signature salads, like our Oriental chicken salad or grilled shrimp and spinach salad. There's no better lunch deal in the neighborhood. So come eat lunch with us. It's all you can eat and only $6.99. Only at Applebee's. Applebee's all-you-can-eat lunch available Monday through Friday till 3 p.m. And join the late-night party at Applebee's where you'll find the best happy hour in town. Starting at 9 p.m., $3 domestic Brutus drafts, under $5 appetizers, nightly drink specials, and lots of fun. Now open till midnight or later every night. Dude, what happened last night? I can't find my Super Big Gulp cup. What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup. All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven. But what happened after that?
Hey, I think we got kidnapped by a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah, and they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Hola, mi amigos. No way, he's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right, and he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait, didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah, I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub. Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today, only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie, The Hangover Part 2, in theaters May 26th. At Borshead, we work hard to make our oven gold turkey the best it can be. It's pure turkey breast, slow roasted the old-fashioned way. But there's a downside to such excellence. Borshead Oven Gold is a magnet for lunch thieves. You open up the office fridge and find your oven gold turkey sandwich has been stolen, pilfered, pinched. So what can you do? Well, you could get a cheap turkey sandwich from a sandwich chain, something made from ground-up parts, preservatives, and fillers like seaweed extract. Nobody's going to steal that. Or you could stand by your oven gold turkey and take defensive measures. Invest in a package.
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Auto Glass Center, now offering new windshields starting at $99 and $34.99 chip repair with lifetime warranty. 5955 Mira Mesa Boulevard, fast and convenient, same-day service with the lowest prices guaranteed. Auto Glass Center, 858-216-4300. That's 858-216-4300. This report is brought to you by Check Into Cash. Check Into Cash offers title loans with low rate guarantee. Visit CheckIntoCash.com for a store near you. Loans made pursuant to Department of Corporation's California Finance Lenders Law License. Well, we've got some slowing this morning as you travel on the 94 eastbound between the 5 and Kelton Road. It's in the lower 20s, also the 163 northbound. That's between the 5 and the 805, pretty much a backup here in the mid-30s. And the 94 eastbound between the 5 and Kelton Road, you're going to find delays in the lower 20s. lower 20s. This report also brought to you by Kohl's Department Store. Get to Kohl's incredible savings sale this Friday through Sunday. Shop power hours Friday 3 to 11, Saturday 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. The more you know, the more you Kohl's. Kohl's expect great things. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.
Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird's Sur Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surveport for a Friday morning. Don't forget to check out the world premiere of Manufacturing Stoke. Sold out Saturday, open for business on Sunday. I want to thank voice and video rentals for that help. Survewise today, looking at some solid waves out there as that southwesterny swell continues to pump through. Pretty broad angle for us, so it's getting in most spots. A little bit of a west-northwest on the fade, crossing that up to be sure. The big problem, though, this morning, and once again, is that negative low tide. So it's pretty drained out and sectioning out there. Look for some improvement as the day continues and that tide does fill in. Size-wise, you're looking at chest-shoulder highways with some pluses just about everywhere. Top-open spots, easily seeing setways in the overhead range with pluses on top of that as well. Again, pick and choose corners of the beaches and some of the structure areas looking to be a little bit better, as are some of those reefs. Again, tide needed. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for your video needs, check out voice and video. They'll help you out. The surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. To the Mikey Show with Mikey. When I see people at baseball games or at the fair and they're walking around with a white cardboard stick and it's got cotton candy wrapped around it, I feel sorry for them. That's a true statement. The best way to clean your house? Yeah.
In your underwear. Woods. You know what's good? Cheesecake. Zienna. I do everything for Todd, I swear. I pick out his clothes, I make his meals, I make all of his appointments. And Jake. I am a boob man. On FM 94.9. Portraitprints.net. It's our friend, Jared. Jared. Takes a regular picture, turns it into what looks like an oil painting, a beautiful work of art. You can have it done. Just go to portraitprince.net. Word of the day is clock. I have not said it yet. When I do, caller 9-570-1949 will win tickets to see Eddie Vedder at Copley Symphony Hall. And also, four-pack of tickets to San Diego County Fair. And thank you to Los Tacos and Grubbies. They are really, really good food. In fact, I want to tell you about these guys. This is pretty cool.
They came in today, and it's a very interesting story because the guys that opened this place, they've been friends since the fifth grade. That's rad. And opened this place up, Los Tacos and Grubby's. And I'm reading this story. I'm like, this is fascinating. These guys hired butchers to teach them how to cut meats. Then they hired what they call taqueros, taco chefs, from Mexico to teach them. How to make everything from scratch. How long did it take you to teach them how to do it? I am not a taquero. Aren't you, in fact, a taquero? A taquera? A taquanosur. A taquanosur is not even a real word. Isn't it? They pride themselves on the quality. I mean, it's delicious stuff, man. Opened their first restaurant, Los Tacos in Oceanside, six years ago. And I think you kind of get it. It's just...
Fresh food. It's legit. It is, man. They opened another location when they had the opportunity to. They called it Grubby's, Grubby's Diner. And now they got a place in Carlsbad that's a combination of Los Tacos and Grubby's. It's called Senior Grubby's. And they're also one of the sponsors at Independence Jam on June 5th. So they're going to be feeding everybody out there. June 5th out at Independence Jam. Very cool. Thank you to Los Tacos and Grubbies. Get them. That's right. It's time for the dead arm duel. Don't want to do this. I think I'll just kick back out the taco. I don't want to do this. I wouldn't either if I were you. It's with Jay. Okay. Now, the way that we play is that LOB is going to give us a question. I have three questions total. Okay. And we have to... Come the closest to that, to the date of the event. Or it's just a number in general. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Who would that hurt? Oh, I don't want to be hit by Jay. Go ahead, L-O-B. Who's starting? How about Jay? You start. I'll start. Okay. How many movies were in the Rocky franchise? That's right up Mikey's alley. Five. He's right. He knows the answer. It is five.
Oh my gosh. Red Rover, Red Rover. Let's Mikey come over. Oh boy. Oh my gosh. Look. Bam. It has to be right there. Bam. Right there. Oh my gosh. I don't want this. You ever been kicked by a mule? Yes. Don't break my arm, Jake. Don't break your arm, won't you? Warming up here. Oh my god. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Ah, that is like being stung by 10 bees. Oh, gosh. Ow. Oh, wow, that hurt. It sounded like an anvil fell on your arm. Holy cow. It felt like 10 anvils fell on my arm. Oh! That felt real good. It's like it keeps setting in later. Yeah, he got the sweet spot. He got the sweet spot. Bone bruise. Go ahead, L-O-B. All right, let's dive Mikey goes first. All right. How old is Hugh Hefner? Oh, no. Oh, wow. You got this. Jay's good friends with him, so this might be. They graduated together. I babysat him and just taught him everything he knows. Taught him how to use a camera. He is 87. Okay. He is 85. Oh. Oh, boy. He is 85. Yeah, these are real fun when this happens. Oh, no. Oh, no, Mike. Oh, no. Oh, no. You going to switch arms?
Yes. Yeah. Oh, boy. You don't understand. Daddy. Here we go. Here we go. Oh. Here we go. No. I slipped off the back a little. Oh, my gosh. Mike is shaking so bad. No mercy. No mercy either. That's your boss. Oh, it hurts so bad. I've been waiting, boy. I've been waiting for this. Oh, man. I've been practicing. Let me tell you something. And I'm being completely honest. I do believe that a mule does not kick as hard as Jay hits. No, dude. He packs a punch. I would never want to be in a fight with Jay. No. I'm going to hold back a little bit. I'm going to hold back a little bit. Are you? Are you really? Yeah. Jay, you hit so hard, dude. All right. Last question. It hurts my ears to listen. Okay. He gets to start. Jay begins. How tall was Johnny Cash? Cash.
He seemed awfully tall, but I think they made the doorway smaller to make him seem that way. So I'm going to say he was six foot. I say he's 5'8". Oh, no. No, no, no, no. He was 6'2". I was going to say 6'2". Oh, my God. Man, in that day and age, nobody was 6'2". Three for three. He sang about it in two of his songs. Well, I'm 6'2". Hey, Mikey, come on over. I'm so sorry. Oh, Mikey. Sorry! Here we go. Oh, wow. Finish strong, Jay. This is a fun game. Yeah, this is a blast. I was worried about this game, but then this is fun. Jay, take some mercy. You just got beat by Jay in trivia, by the way. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Man! Oh, my goodness. Ouch! Oh, it hurts. Mommy! Woo! You called Jay mommy? No. Hey, you sound like my wife.
Oh, wow. Okay. Let me tell you. It feels like it goes down into the bone. You're going to have bruises this weekend. He punched me so hard in the arm it hurt my grundle. True statement. It did. It brought me to my knees and hurt my grundle. Okay. Oh, that was the dead arm duel. Let's see. Hey, Jay, do you have that article? Yeah, you do. Listen to this. This is kind of interesting. Apparently. There's a new blood test that can tell exactly how fast you're aging. And it can pretty accurately guess when you're going to die. Now, I don't buy it. Because, I mean, how can they tell you when you're going to die based on your blood? You know what I mean? I mean, maybe they can go, okay, you got cholesterol. So statistically, blah, blah, blah. Wow, my arm's still hurt. Brace yourself. Wow. What if they just take the DNA and they like...
do an average of whatever DNA you have, and then they do a readout on it of some sort. I mean, I think it sounds like it could be. Well, they can take the DNA. The average of your DNA. Well, they just basically, they look at the lifespan of people that have your DNA. Nobody else has your DNA. There's certain similarities. Can't they just take your DNA and then pi? Times pi, yeah. Times pi. See, that's what I'm saying. Plus the square root of your age. And then carry the one. You know? It's science, Holmes. M1 Monkey Man from San Diego? Yeah. Good. Just got to say, Mikey, please stop being such a sissy man. Fair enough. Hey, I challenge you, Monkey Man. The guy packs a punch. Come on in. I will gladly take that challenge at the very next OSI. It hurts. It hurts so good. I will gladly take that challenge. Second, you got it dead on for no reason, brother, on the first question. Why? Because there were actually six Rocky movies, guys. Well, if there was six, I said seven, he said five. He still went over. Wikipedia told me five. There were six? Yes, sir. Wasn't the sixth one called Rocky Balboa? There was Rocky 5, and then there was a movie called Rocky Balboa. It was just called Balboa, I thought. It was about his son or something? Yeah, but I was one over.
Fairness, guys. Yeah. You should get a free shot on Jay then, right? I'm in on that. I'd feel weird about it. I'd feel weird. You still went over. I still went over. The closest without going over. And I'd feel weird. Why does Monkey Man hate me? He just wants you to get hit. Well, thank you, Monkey Man. I appreciate it. Yeah. Okay. Now, here's what they say. This test that we're talking about, the new blood test, says it measures the structure of your chromosomes, calculates exactly how fast you're aging. Then they factor in smoking or basically. And other health problems that affect the chromosome structure. That's how you do it. Now, here's my question to everybody. If you knew, if you could know the exact date that you're going to die, would you want to know? Woods. No. L-O-B. Hell no. Sienna. I think so, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Jay. 100%. Oh, my. Raise your hand in the room if you would like to know. Two guys. Two guys would like to know. Everyone else says no way. Never. I would never want to know. What if it was tomorrow? Well, a lot of people think it is, by the way. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Then you would be able to enjoy and do whatever you want to do and say your goodbyes to everyone and make sure everyone you love knows how much you love them. Wiener time. And you, Wiener time, exactly. A lot of Wiener time. Make it right. Even if I said July 5th of 2027, you'd go, oh, that's cool. I mean, that's still.
way off i mean we still have many years to go that's 17 years or whatever it is but i would want to know i would know i'd be able to plan for everything i want to do with my daughter imagine july 1st 2027 yeah you would be like that'd be terrible yeah oh it'd be the worst yeah but you know i don't know miserable but i would have said all my goodbyes to everyone and i would be ready i'd have that bucket list all handled yeah why not live like it's the last day anyway Why do you need a date? Really, Peter Pan? Easy, Peter Pan. If you've got a bucket list, just start checking it off. Why not just dance like no one's watching? Yeah. You gotta live like you're dying. Just dance like no one's watching. Dance in the rain, you know? Just make love. But if that's Jay's argument... You know what, though? You guys that say that you would take the date, that you would know the date, it's basically like saying, you're getting executed, you've been... punished to execution by the state of California, and this is the date of your execution. Cool. Cool. I would be, okay, that's the day. Not me. Not me. I thought everybody that knew they were getting executed is sweating it, leading right up to there. It's like, you know, those last couple of years, you know that date's coming. Didn't scare me. No. That didn't scare me. Everyone dies. Everyone dies. I just don't, you know, who wants, I don't know. What scares me is living too long.
Well, you've already done that. I'm too late on that one. I'm damn near there right now. I know it. I've seen 18 presidents. Survival plague. I helped sew that first flag. Yeah. They call me Benjamin J. Benjamin J. Franklin. Yeah, Benjamin Button. That's how long I lived. I used to coach Ben Franklin in the Little League. He's terrible. Freaking fat little kid just running around. I'll tell you a secret. George Washington, he chopped down that cherry tree. He sure did. Use my axe. That's right. Use my axe. I sharpened it and let him use it. I borrowed my axe from Huck Finn and gave it to him. I went fishing with the real Huck Finn. I am the real Huck Finn, y'all. Let's see. So President Obama got a lot of people riled up yesterday. It's weird. When he said this. The borders of Israel and Palestine should be based on the 1967 lines with mutually agreed swaps. So that secure and recognized borders are established for both states. I wonder if Israel was like, maybe give us a heads up you're going to say stuff like that. Since we're your biggest ally in the Middle East.
Maybe tell us you can say it. Listen, there will never be peace in the Middle East. Well, how come I have that button that I made in seventh grade that says peace in the Mideast? Well, because you had the button. But the button don't mean nothing. I'll tell you what, Palestinians and the Israelis, they're never going to get along. And you're never going to be able to say, give back, give it back. They ain't giving it back. Israel ain't giving it back. They took it. They're keeping it. And by the way, Israel's coming to town. They're going to be visiting the White House this weekend. Should be a comfortable conversation. Absolutely. Just give it back. And I don't know where the dividing line should be. Maybe we throw a bunch of pennies up in the air and wherever they land, that's the border. I don't know how you would decide that. You figure it out. You figure it out.
Oh, this is a creepy story. This daycare story. Oh, my goodness. It freaks me out. Freak me out even to read it. Yeah, this is a San Diego daycare that a woman runs. Her name is Guadalupe Herrera. And she watches children. And apparently her husband, who is home a lot of the times when the kids are over, was just charged with child molestation. Runs this out of her house? Yes. Oh, my gosh. So the mother and there was a mother of a child. The child was four years old, a girl who came forward to her mom and said, this man, you know, touched me. Yeah. Was trying to touch me. And the little girl knew, you know. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. And so she told her mom. Her mom came forward. And now more kids have come forward. And now there's a few kids that this has affected. And he has tried to touch. The woman that owns the daycare is like, no, no, no. I know my husband. He would not do this. Who says, yes, yes, yes. I know my husband. He would totally do this. 100% he's in. Yeah. Now that I think about it. Yeah.
It's just really sad. I mean, even the neighbors are coming forward and saying, I can't see him doing anything like this. Okay. But, you know, who does? We never see it or else we wouldn't associate. Yeah. Right. As a four year old, a six year old and an eight year old. Let me tell you something. It scares me as a parent. It scares me so bad. And I go, listen, I practically want to walk into a daycare place and go. Make sure it's a woman at the counter. Make sure that it's a woman that's taking care of the kids. And then say, hey, by the way, you're not married, have any brothers, cousins, or anybody that's closely a male, right? Like there's no males that are ever going to walk in here. It just makes me nervous as somebody that was sexually abused as a kid. It makes me so nervous as a grown-up. Yeah, today he's scheduled to be arraigned this afternoon in a county courtroom. So we'll see what happens. But it was the Shining Stars daycare. Really? On Boston Avenue. A lot of those places have nanny cams in there. They should. Yeah, they should. Parents can log in at any point. Look at the cameras. Hey, that reminds me, L.O.B., of your recap, which I thought was great. L.O.B. said that L.O.B. was saying that she went into a dressing room yesterday and she had this feeling that somebody was looking at her. Weird. My bad. We had just done a story about a guy at Starbucks peeping on people. Yeah, put a camera in there.
That's why it was in your head. Probably. But she said that she saw some movie when she was like 10 years old of some guy watching women through a thing, you know, so that he could, so they wouldn't steal stuff. Oh no. And so she's like, is that a legal thing? They have in some dressing rooms. Hang on, hang on. What? In some dressing rooms, they have signs that say, we can monitor you. I've seen it like in like a Neiman Marcus or something like that. They have it. And I've. remember being in there and it's taped on the mirror. We can watch you. Jay and I actually work security there on the weekends. Wait. You're telling... I don't know. I think I have to tell you first. Call us. 570-1949 if anybody knows. They can watch you while you're taking your clothes off? No, they can't. I tried to look it up online. Weird. And apparently they can watch but they can't videotape it. Can you imagine? L-O-B typing into Google. Can people look at me while I am changing in a dressing room? I know they can't. It varies state to state. That's what it said online. No! If they're watching me, they're getting a show. Absolutely. I know. I do weird things. I'll make different faces to see how things fit. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Oh, boy. Can I picture myself wearing this on an evening date? She just made a very coy face. Fantastic.
An evening date, by the way. I don't try anything on. Ever. I do it by the rest. We went to the store together and I pulled my shirt off in the store. He pulled his shorts off. He had underwear on. Just standing in the aisle. True statement. You can be arrested. There was nobody around. Laziness. Total serious question. What's wrong with you? Laziness. I don't want to walk all the way back there and get a, hey, I need to try this stuff on and take it all up. Happy birthday. Just right there. I don't show anybody anything. Oh. That, I need people to call. Because Sienna says she's seen that where it says, we, we're what? It's a sign taped on the mirror. A little sticker with, like, a warning sign on it. Yeah. We can monitor you. I'm honored. I'm honored to you. I'm honored. Can you imagine you're changing and all of a sudden through a speaker you hear. All of a sudden from a speaker you hear. You need a smaller. You're like, what time? Giggity, giggity. We make some noise in the studio. All right, now this might. I hope this doesn't get guys upset. Listen, I'm going to put this caveat out there before we even do this when we come back. I'm going to tell you right now. Don't take it personally. When we come back.
We're going to talk about cars you shouldn't drive if you're a dude. Mikey Show coming up in minutes. That was a half an inch away from being the greatest thing I've ever seen. Call Mikey now. 570-1949. Does anyone want to explain why the cab driver's in the backseat? Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. The Mikey Show is on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets.
FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Presented by Triple Hops. Rude Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubby's and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Like tonight, Aloe Black and DJ Claire at the Belly Up. That is going to be a great show. And then tomorrow night. System of a Down. They're back together and they're playing cricket wireless. Trancers in town next weekend playing the Cow's Paw on the 27th. June 1st, it's Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra at Soma. June 5th is the sold-out FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. You can see Matt and Kim and the Thermals at House of Blues June 16th. A perfect circle at the Open Air Theater July 26th. On July 30th, it's L.A. Rising at the Los Angeles Coliseum with Rage Against the Machine, Muse, Rise Against It, and a bunch of other bands. Also, July 30th, Slightly Stupid will play Cricket Wireless.
Sonic Chill presents Sia at House of Blues, August 11th. Death Cab for Cuties at the Remax, August 16th. Kings of Leon play Cricket Wireless, September 4th. And September 13th, Ray LaMontagne will play at Copley Symphony Hall. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. Time is precious. Not the one day the baby's bored and the next day they're asking to borrow the car kind of precious, but the precious few days to get an amazing deal on a new Honda. Because the nine-day sale is now on at your Honda dealers of San Diego County. From May 22nd until May 30th, all nine Honda dealers are marking down their inventory. They're starting with a nice selection of some of the most popular cars in San Diego, like the Accord, the 2012 Civic, CR-V,
and the all-new Odyssey. They're discounting these cars with once-in-a-year price and lease deals. And when they're gone, they're gone. The nine-day sale runs from May 22nd to the 30th at nine Honda dealer locations throughout San Diego County. To find the dealer nearest you, visit sdhondadealers.com. If you're in the market for a Honda, we've got your number. But hurry, the nine-day sale ends May 30th. When he finishes his morning cup of coffee, He flies home from Columbia. Objects in his side view mirror appear exactly as they are. He believes the pen is mightier than the sword, especially his patented gun pen. Hardware stores were his idea. His bird baths have been known to attract bald eagles. It doesn't matter if they're running a sale or not. He's getting up to 50% off select mattresses. If you were to say, oh no he didn't, chances are...
Oh, yes, you did. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, man. Make your weekends even hotter at SeaWorld with Viva la Musica this Saturday and Sunday. This fiery festival celebrating Hispanic heritage is coming to a close, and you don't want to miss it. Experience Latin culture all around with savory, authentic cuisine, local entertainment, and performances from today's hottest international Latin artists live at Search Stadium. This Saturday and Sunday catch the final weekend of Viva La Musica featuring Prince Royce on May 21st and El Gran Combo on May 22nd. Enjoy this weekend of Viva La Musica along with all your favorite SeaWorld rides, shows, and animal encounters with a fun card. Pay for a day.
play all year. It's the last weekend of Viva la Musica at SeaWorld. For showtimes or to buy your fun card, visit SeaWorld.com slash Viva. Concert seating is limited. Entertainment subject to change without notice. Event included with park admission. Restrictions apply. At University of Phoenix, we've never been afraid to do things differently. We were one of America's first accredited universities to offer online degree programs. We were also one of the first to reach out to working learners. And now we're doing it all over again by offering you a three-week orientation workshop completely free of charge. Call 1-866-4-ENROLL to experience university orientation, where you'll learn how to navigate our San Diego area classrooms and how to use our award-winning online learning platforms. You'll also get a chance to work with our enrollment advisors, who can help you find the right degree to match your unique skills and interests. Call University of Phoenix at 1-866-4-ENROLL. or visit phoenix.edu slash enroll to get started in a different kind of orientation program, one designed to give you the tools you need to start making a difference in your life. This free orientation workshop is available for students with less than 24 credits. Seventy years ago, we set out on a journey. What began as a duty to our country became our legacy. Since then, every day brings a new adventure. Our name is written out there, in the sand, on every road.
It's what defines us. It's what makes us who we are. Unique. There's only one of you, like there's only one of us. It's time to celebrate 70 years of legendary Jeep brand history. Come celebrate with us today and experience the all-new Jeep Compass, luxurious Jeep Grand Cherokee, and legendary Jeep Wrangler. We don't just make SUVs. We make history. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. Loyal Day Sales Event. Lease Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x4 for $369 a month for 39 months with $24.99. Do at least signing for well-qualified lessees. Tax, title, and license extra. Call 1-888-925-Jeep for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residency restriction supply. Take delivery by 531. Wake up, please! System of a Down. Live in Concert. Cricket Wireless Amphitheater, presented by Sleep Train Mattress Setters, with special guest, Gogol Bordello. Tickets are on sale now. Buy tickets at LiveNation.com. All Ticketmaster outlets are called 800-745-3000. Stay informed at SystemOfADown.com. Hi, I'm Almond. I'm a fresh and easy neighborhood market customer. This message is by a real customer, not a celebrity.
Saving money we pass on to you. Oh, I love the store. Most of the prices, they're very competitive. I always know it's going to be good quality, too. His food is prepared with love. And, you know, tastes high in, but it's an affordable price. Everybody can afford it. I get everything prepared. Thank you, Fresh and Easy. And thank you, Almond. You just saved us some money. Now everyone can enjoy cool deals on summer favorites with 30% off Fresh and Easy ice cream. Bacon. Listen to it. Sounds like a party. Actually, it is a party. Bacon Alia. Denny's celebration of bacon. Seven new bacon dishes. Like the triple bacon sampler. Or maple bacon sundae. Starting at just $4.99. Come on in and party. Denny's. America's Diner is always open. Prices of participation may vary. Okay, now take a look at the two bars on the new Coors Light bottles. The first one tells you when your beer is cold. The second tells you when your beer is super cold. First bar? Cold! Second bar? Super cold! Okay, you all just passed a bar exam. New super cold activation with two stages. Now you'll know when your beer goes from cold to super cold. Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer.
Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. The Home Depot's made a special buy. Select one-quart perennials are four for ten bucks. Regionally grown, giving a colorful bang for your buck. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Auto Glass Center. Now offering new windshields starting at $99 and $34.99 chip repair with lifetime warranty. 5955 Mira Mesa Boulevard. Fast and convenient, same-day service with the lowest prices guaranteed. Auto Glass Center. 858-216-4300. That's 858-216-4300. This report brought to you by McDonald's. It's back. Now you could quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks, only 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. Well, we got a lot of slowing this morning. On the 15 southbound Felicita Road, there is a car that they moved over to the right shoulder. They're changing a tire and a tow truck's on the scene. Looks like a backup here on the 56 westbound between Black Mountain Road and the 5. And if you're traveling through Carlsbad, that 5 southbound drive between Poinsettia Lane, Manchester Avenue, that's stop and go in the teens as well. This report brought to you by Chevy, the all-new EPA-estimated 42 miles per gallon Chevy Cruze Echo, miles ahead of its...
time and the competition with a 1.4 liter turbocharged engine. Chevy runs deep. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now Mikey Show with Mikey. I love that iPhone. It really is great. Lauren. I've taken a strip T class before. Woods. Yeah, that kid doesn't like to be told what to do. Sienna. Why keep the antibacterial hand gel in my purse at all times? And Jake. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. On FM 94.9. Make some noise in our lives. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, if you didn't hear earlier, another woman has come forward. We may have a Tiger Woods situation on our hands with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Her name is Gigi Jeffers, also known as Gigi Goyette. And she has reportedly hired Gloria Allred, who represented all the girls, the Tiger Woods mistresses. But she said she had a relationship with Arnold Schwarzenegger back in 75 when she was 16, he was 28.
And then again in 89, three years after he'd married Maria Shriver. So we'll be hearing a lot more about that. Also some sad news. Last night, Coast Guards were searching for a serviceman who was reported missing by the military police at Camp Pendleton. He went in the water to surf. He was wearing a white swimsuit. And after three hours of searching, they suspended their search at 830 because they couldn't find him. People are still, you know, obviously trying to find him. But just a sad story. It happened on the Del Mar Beach at the southern end of the base. So I'm really hoping some good news comes out. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Padres' big win last night, 1-0 over the Brewers. And I misreported earlier. He fell to not get the save. He got the win. He pitched the top of the ninth. We won it in the bottom of the ninth. So it was Orlando Hudson's sacrifice fly. Won it 1-0. There you go. Based on that. And this is a very interesting story. Former teammate of Lance Armstrong, Tyler Hamilton, has come out on 60 Minutes and said, yes, in fact, I've seen Lance use performance-enhancing drugs. This is not the first accusation that's come Lance Armstrong's way. And, you know, we'll definitely keep watching this story because he said he all the time took a blood booster called EPO, which is a banned substance. It's a blood booster. What is that, a blood booster? I asked Jay. A blood booster is when you want to have blood like me.
Boost it up. She's basically cool blood. That's what I have. All right, listen. Don't get upset. Don't take it personally, guys. Oh, boy. This is a list of cars that guys shouldn't drive. Now, I'm going to tell you right now, I do not agree with some of these cars at all. I don't agree with it. Some of them I do, okay? Some of them I understand. For instance, the VW Jetta. Check. Guys shouldn't drive a Jetta. Now, hang on. Oh, boy. Because I know that there's some guys listening right now on their Jetta, and they're like, what's... Thanks, bro. I'm going to punch you in the ovary. But it is all a matter of opinion, okay? So don't everybody freak out. What about a Mini Cooper? Oh, boy. Now, I like the Mini Cooper. I actually don't see a woman driving a Mini Cooper. You just call it a Cooper. Okay.
I get that. It's a large Cooper in your case. All right. You have to be little. It's called a giant extra large Cooper. It's called a step stool, get in my car, Cooper. The biggest Cooper available. Plenty of leg room. A space shuttle sized Cooper. I get it. It's a one seater though. Okay. This one, there is no denying. There is no denying this. And this one, I can't try to defend. And that's the beetle. The new VW beetle. 100% right. Alright, I do not picture M1 Sanjaya in a VW beetle. Okay, a new one, yes. With the flower. With the tattoos on the neck and the arm and just, you know, no. Just bubblegum color. Yes. Is the flower... pot thing an option or does it come in every single one? Oh, that I don't know. I thought it was every one. I believe it's in every one. I think you can add your own flower. Well, of course. Of course. They're not going to provide you any flowers. They may. I thought it was a fake flower. You can put real flowers in there too. You can hang a fern in there. You can put water in the vase. If you want. That cart comes with a box of tampons. Okay. You get it? Y'all get it?
That's a joke. Only girls use them. Get it? Hey, Matt. Boys don't use them. So, get it? Try all you like. Ew. Holy smokes. Oh, gosh. Does anybody disagree that a VW Beetle, a new one, could be a perfectly fine guy car? Not one person in the studio raised their hand. Not one. I roasted Matt. He told me he was thinking about getting one. He was talking about the old... one oh yeah yeah and i was like no i gave him no the old one's fine no it's not ted bundy drove one oh there you go that's a guy he's a serial killer yeah does that tell you anything it made him crazy oh it's fine charles manson had a had one so it's no big deal well i'm just saying a guy drove it's a hell of an endorsement well i'm not i'm just he's very masculine he's slayed a lot of women literally my god you know
Literally. Well, actually, not literally. Maybe I could have thought of somebody. I couldn't think of anybody else. Of course, because no other man besides Ted Bundy has driven a VW Beetle. I do know somebody that did. It was the former famous quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks that later became a coach for the Washington Redskins. Joe Gibbs? No. Somebody will tell me. But he was very famous for driving one. Hitler drove a Jetta. Okay, a VW Cabriolet. Not going to happen. Right? Unless somebody... And by the way, if anybody disagrees with this, they can call a V6 Mustang. A Mustang's a guy car. I had one. Well, of course you did. That's a guy car. I don't know why it's on the list. But an EVW lives in. That's true. Because it's a V6. Yeah. I didn't have the GT. I had the LX. And it was a little, it was white. It was a little girly. Hey, and it's not like, you know, you're made of money, man. All right. What if you can't afford the eight? You can buy a cheap pickup truck. So you're saying if you're a guy, just don't go with the V6. Or just, yeah, just stay away from Mustangs in general, I think. A Pontiac G6 or a Grand Am? Girl. What? Tragic girl. Whoa!
Trashy girl? Yeah, I might have known a few. Drove Grand Ams. Big player? I was a big player at that time. No, no, no. I mean, the Grand Am was a big, trashy girl player? Yeah, but where I come from. Where I come from. I can't speak to anybody here, but where I come from, yeah. If you saw a girl in a Grand Am, one day close. One call close. Oh, wow. Volkswagen Golf. I strongly disagree with that. Volkswagen Golf. has year after year, well, it's been car of the year many years in a row. For women? No. Hang on a minute. On Woman's Day magazine. Here's the thing with the Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. For the dough. That little sucker's fun, man. It's got some get up and go in it. And this is a fun car to drive. It's a driver's car. Yeah, Redbook called it.
Number one. Lipstick holding. Red Bull. M1 Dillon from San Diego. Who was the quarterback I was thinking of? Jim Zorn. Yeah, he's very famous. It was a big deal. That's what he was in. He drove a Volkswagen Beetle and he loved the thing. Thank you for the call. No worries, man. You guys have a great weekend. Thank you. Mercedes SLK. That's a girl car? Yeah. It's the little Mercedes. My mom has one. Tiny. Alright. The Acura RSX base car. I don't think an Acura is. I don't think that one is. I'd drive that. Mitsubishi Eclipse. I used to drive one. It wasn't mine, but I drove it. Jamie had one in high school. Okay, perfect. Mazda Miata. I can't drive a Mazda Miata. My brother-in-law has one. I'm like, ah, Danny, come on. Sienna thinks that a guy that drives a Jeep has, he's trying to hide that he's got small anatomy. Yes. Now, not any Jeep, but Jeep Wrangler. Really? Yeah, when it's like the lift. She's nuts. I've seen from, I. What? She's done a survey. You dated a small wienered man that had a Jeep. And I think that.
The guys that drive that or the big lifted trucks are, you know, overcompensating for something that is little. Or they just like big trucks. She's so wrong. Yeah, dead wrong. Am I? Yes. You haven't seen what I've seen. Hasn't he? Yeah. Doesn't he? Doesn't he? We can get pictures from the audience. Because Mikey doesn't drive a big truck. Didn't we do this little survey of our own outside one day? And you guys were proven wrong in one second. I said I wanted a Jeep Wrangler, that I've always wanted a Jeep Wrangler. They're cool. That I've always wanted one. Wow. And Sienna immediately. I don't think they're girl cars. I think they're just. She immediately started shaming me. And then, sure enough. Driving by in the parking lot was this very feminine dude. No, seriously, this guy looked like a backup dancer for NSYNC. For George Michael. Lady Gaga. For Lady Gaga. Absolutely. Driving by, pumpin' techno. With a pink Jeep with glitter all over it. Pumpin' techno with like frosted colored silver hair. Oh, yeah. And she's like, case in point, Woods. I'm like, oh boy, you got me. Okay, there's one.
Well, she doesn't believe that girls drive Jeeps. She believes that gay guys or guys with small anatomy. Or like teenage guys. They're just trying to be cool. How about it is cool? I want a Jeep, man. I've always wanted one. Now I can't get one. You can go to the desert then. Are you? Yeah. Is that what you're doing? No, you're driving on Mission Boulevard. Try to be cool like a Sony. Yeah. Get out. Down the 805. Not going out to the desert. How about you just like the vehicle? It looks cool. Yeah. Okay. It's badass. The Army uses Jeeps. Yeah. Are you in the Army? Yeah. The Army also uses Humbers. I could be. And those are not cool. Hey, listen. I wear tennis shoes. I don't play tennis. Yes. Sienna. Oh, my God. 570-1949. You guys, you know, you don't need to listen to me. I'm just telling you what I think. I'm so irritated that she said that. I drive a Jeep. I have a Jeep, too. It's freaking fabulous. It's okay for you guys. I'm not gay. Oh. And so I drive a Jeep, so I kind of don't like what you just said. You might be mistaken, then. So did Sharon Clueless.
Sharon Clueless drove one. Oh, wow. She sure did. Damn it. That's one girl, dude. Alicia Silverstone. Easy. I think chicks look cool in Jeeps. I do. You just said it. Chicks. Okay, but so do dudes. I'm out. No. You know what I think chicks look cool in? Pickup trucks. Real cool. Yeah, I agree. In on that. Badass. Really? Yeah. Very cool. Nah, I want them to be feminine. Dainty. Yeah. My girlfriend in college had a VW Cabriolet. It was a convertible, and I didn't have a car. So when I would skip class to go play golf, which was every day, I had to drive her car with the top down through the streets of Chicago. You didn't have to put the top down. You chose. Chin's blowing in the wind real good. So mean. Oh, my God. I mean, I just ended it right there. I mean, that just ends the whole thing. Ouch. I didn't look like this in college, pal. Sharp kid. Yeah. There's another bit that I don't care for. If you do it, it's okay, ladies. It's just not my thing. I don't like when girls drive guy cars and then paint them pink. For instance, there's a girl that drives a Mustang, and she... I'm assuming it's a girl. We've already established it's a girl car, though. It's a pink Mustang. She probably works for Mary Kay. Cars should never be pink, no matter what. Unless you work for Mary Kay. No, never.
Well, even then, you should paint it black. 570-1949. There's a guy on the phone right now, and he knows the difference between a mall Jeep and a real Jeep. And it's M1 Noob from Spring Valley. What's up, Noob? Hey, how's it going, Mikey Show? Good. I have a problem with thinking Jeeps are for girls, unless it's a mall Jeep. And all you do is you buy a little four-cylinder Jeep. And all you do is take it to the mall every freaking day. You don't off-road it. You don't do anything with it. Okay, now let me ask you, Sienna. If you see a Jeep and a guy in it and it's covered in mud, is it still small anatomy time? No, because he has it for a purpose. Maybe he's going to sand dunes. But if it's clean. If it's clean and he has it just because it looks cool and he's driving in Mission Beach, that's what I have a problem with. In a tank top. He's just so Arizona. So you're convinced. Sorry. That he wants people. I'm born and raised here. He wants to convince people that there's something else going on. He's tough. And he's overcompensating it. You're tough. I get it. Do you know what that guy does too? Or at least this used to happen in high school. What? You do the wave to the other people in the Jeep Wrangler. You do? You do the one hand off the steering wheel. Come on. You're not a club dork. Gay man's club. Aren't you? Apparently. You see each other in the.
You're out and about. You're like, hey, I'll see you next time I'm out knocking at you. We both like Jeeps. How come people in Honda Civics don't do that? You know what I really like? That's right. 600 miles to the gallon. Any guy will get my attention if you're driving one of those old Broncos, though. For sure. Those are awesome. Can you lift a Bronco? Yeah. I'm not a fan of... big lifting. Oh, I like the biggest lifted truck. Dude, I love old Broncos. Yeah. I think they're cool. They're really cool. OJ. I mean, hello. Well, yeah, man. I made it famous. Yeah, you did. You know Broncos sales skyrocketed after you. It's crazy. Whenever anybody thinks about O.J. Simpson, they only think of one thing. My old Bronco. That's it. That's it. They don't think about that you cut your ex-wife's head off. Yeah, no. That usually doesn't come up, man. No, it's the Bronco. When I meet people out on the golf course, they go, hey, O.J., aren't you the guy that drove an old Bronco? You still got that thing?
You still got it? Yeah. And I go, yeah. I do still have it. It's either that or they say, excuse me, Mr. Roker, can I have your autograph? 570-194-9 is our... Al Roker is dressed as one of the Wiggles. And he's dancing. He'd be way funnier if he was fatter. What is going on? We had a conversation the other day at my home. If you have kids and your kids watch the TV show Yo Gabba Gabba, you aware of it, Sienna? Oh, yeah. DJ Lance. Yes. G-A-Y question mark? Has to be. That's what I said. My wife says, no way. Hello. Really? Our Hungarian nanny, Nita, goes, if he is not, he does a very good job of making it seem this way. Yo, Gabba Gabba. Wiener time. That's actual footage. That's actual footage. It's actual footage.
Weigh in on this one if you want to. Mikey, please do not use my name on the air. I will not. My wife told me last week that she wants to start running. That's great. No problem. Only problem is she quits everything and I pay for iPod stuff. Her new running shoes, tennis rackets, yoga mats, etc. Maybe she gets a job. Any advice? Question mark. I'll weigh in on that. I want you to weigh in on that. 570-1949. And make some noise in our live studio audience today. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why? Because as a small business owner, it's more than your job. It's what you love.
and you need technology that keeps pace with your passion. That's why Verizon delivers all the wireless solutions you need to make sure your business rules. Verizon technology gives you the power to enable growth and boost productivity because only Verizon offers an arsenal of advanced devices, powerful business apps, and mobile security safeguards, all backed by unrivaled customer support and the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. More small businesses choose Verizon Wireless than any other wireless carrier because they know. The small business with the best technology rules. Now get the lightning-fast Thunderbolt by HTC for only $249.99. No rebate required. Exclusively at Verizon. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash smallbusiness, or call 1-800-BZW-4Biz. Requires new tier activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Preference results based on third-party study. Got to tell you about the 2011 BMW 328i sedan. Now, this is the service loaner. So when you go in and you take your car in to get serviced at BMW Encinitas, what they do is they put you in one of these 328s. And right now, you can go down there and you can lease one for $219. You just ask the dealer about the details. You'll put it down payment. And as long as you got the credit for it, $219 a month. Now, this is kind of cool. Today and Saturday and Sunday.
The first 50 people that go in there. So this is in effect right now. You go down to BMW Encinitas, even right now, and you're one of the first 50 people to take a test drive. They'll give you free Sunday brunch at Vigalucci's. So it's a good time to go down there and just test drive one of their cars. BMW Encinitas, there's nothing like driving a BMW. There is nothing like the experience of driving a BMW. And if you've never driven one, now's the time to go down. Do a test drive. And first 50 people, free Sunday brunch at Bigalucci's. Check it out. It's BMW Encinitas. Dear Lunch Thief, I hope you enjoyed my turkey sandwich. I don't blame you for taking it. After all, it was made from Boar's Head Oven Gold Turkey. It's the best money can buy. How could you see it sitting in the fridge and not be tempted? It's not like it was some cheap turkey from a sandwich chain packed with preservatives, fat, and fillers like seaweed extract. You may be a thief, but clearly you have standards. Tomorrow, I'll be putting another oven gold turkey sandwich in the fridge. I know it's hard to resist. Perhaps your mother never gave you good turkey as a child. I feel for you. But if you ever touch my slow-roasted boar's head oven gold again,
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We know what you need because we know what you love. Shop REI's anniversary sale and save up to 30% May 20th through 30th. Plus, members get 20% off one full price item. Exclusions apply. REI. Find out. Visit REI in Chula Vista at Otay Ranch Town Center, Encinitas, and San Diego. Or shop REI.com. Cue a beach on a perfect summer's day. Cue a twin-sized lounge. Cue the twins. Cue the twins rubbing sunscreen on your shoulders. Cue the camera phone. Cue the updated profile picture. Cue the immediate 318 friend requests from 318 guys. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Hugh Blind Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the trademark owner. You could search the web and scour the papers. You won't find a lower mortgage rate than a Navy Federal Credit Union. We're so sure rates are the lowest, we're putting our money where our mouth is. If we can't match a lower rate, we'll pay you. Come on into your new home. It's easier to get now than ever because Navy Federal's mortgage rates are crazy low and will match any rate that's lower or you get paid. For details, visit NavyFederal.org and check out our first-time homebuyer package. It's crazy good, too, with that new home smell.
Equal housing lender. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. My colleague is speaking double to share some great news from Shell and Ralph's. When you fuel up at Shell, take your receipt to Ralph's and get double rewards points when using your Ralph's rewards card. And double rewards points means faster earnings. Yep. Let me repeat that for emphasis. No, no, no, no. We got it. Okay. Your Shell fuel receipt earns you double rewards points at Ralph's. Well, all right then. Well, all right then. Fuel earnings are limited to up to 35 gallons per purchase. Offer valid through August 31, 2011 at participating Shell Stations. See stores for details or go to www.ralphs.com slash fuelpromotion. Folks, Bobstall Chevrolet's Memorial Day sale is in full swing right now. So visit Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa today. You'll find extra special savings and an unsurpassed selection of Chevrolet's hottest new cars and trucks. And if you have anything to trade toward your new Chevrolet, Bring it to Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa. We sell lots of used cars, so we really need your trade. Extra special Memorial Day savings on your new car and a great price on your old car. Bobstall Chevrolet in La Mesa. Auto Glass Center. Now offering new windshields starting at $99 and $34.99 chip repair with lifetime warranty. 5955 Mira Mesa Boulevard. Fast and convenient same-day service with the lowest prices guaranteed. Auto Glass Center. 858-216-4300. That's 858-216-4300.
This report brought to you by Del Taco. Del Taco's got a new big fat crispy chicken taco. Crispy chicken, fresh tomatoes, crisp lettuce with chipotle sauce or bacon with ranch sauce. In a warm flatbread, chicken tastes better in a taco and it's only at Del Taco. In Chula Vista on the 805 southbound, after H Street, a disabled vehicle, a pickup truck. It's stuck in the center divider. San Marco's tied up on the 78 westbound, the ramp to Nordahl Road due to a car that's in the left lane. And then we've got some backup here out of National. City on the 805 northbound between 8th Street and El Cajon Boulevard. It is in the teens right now. This report brought to you by Caltrans and Highway Work Zones. You get two choices, slow down or pay up. Fines are now up to a thousand bucks or more. You also get points on your driving record. Slow for the Cone Zone. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. For those of you that have never seen me, I'm a short, chunky guy. Lauren. I was the creep. Yeah. I was kissing boys when they were sleeping. How old? I like being out in the country too, man. Throw a dip of snuff in, have a couple beers, kind of feel like a man, right? I want to fly to New York just to go to the Pop-Tart store. I can cry now at the drop of a hat, something just sad. On FM 94.9. You know his song, right? Yeah, brand new. Yeah, just came out. Off the presses. Yeah, it's amazing. Dr. Dre, I think it is. Dr. Dre. I...
Heard this song about a year ago and thought it was new. And we're very excited to spread it around. Yeah. Well, you got a good ear. Because you knew a hit when you heard it. I knew a hit when I heard it. You're like Clive Davis. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I am not really that big into hip-hop, and so... Aren't you? Not the old stuff. Oh, yeah. I don't know that I'm really... I mean, I like Jay-Z. Me too. Yeah. Kanye. Me too. Yeah. The old stuff, I don't know. My wife knows gangster rap. That's a true story. That's a true statement. Yeah, she does. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is Los Lobos. Garrett. Mikey. How will the wolf survive? Listen, make sure before you go to bed, you set your clocks to dead. Say goodbye to your loved ones. Right.
What are we going to do on Monday? I guess best of. Because you're not coming back. Well, I'm sure I'll be around, so I'll run it. I'll be like half of me will be here. If the sinners are remaining, then I'll be here. You need me to take care of your cat? My cat? Yeah. Yes. Okay. Please. This is number one concern. Yes. There is a service out there of atheist people that have a pet. They're saying for all these people that believe that it is going to be the end of the world, we'll take care of your pets. Is that right? True story. For sure. And so can you imagine people call? Now, what do they do on Monday? They call them back and they're like, hey, can I have Tabby back? Yeah, Tabby back. Do you still have senior beans there? Yeah, because I'll take them. I'll come get them. Yeah, there's billboards all over that say tomorrow is the rapture for Christians. No. Are you nervous at all? No. Well, I mean, I thought about it, but only because, you know, I'm weird. I thought about it. It doesn't make you weird. I think it makes you kind of weird. It doesn't. I mean, you're going to be curious. Somebody puts something into your head, you're going to think about it. Power of suggestion. You know? You know? There was a thing a couple years ago. People said if you use your cell phone in the gas tank, you could explode. I thought about it. Yeah. Literally. I was like, well. It still says it in some places. Yeah. And I don't think I'm going to explode, but I'm still like, eh. Yeah. Maybe I spontaneously catch on fire with a cell phone. Right.
You know, it's just dumb. But I wanted to interview the guy. Yeah. But I don't think he's doing any radio interviews. Harold Camping. Harold Camping is the guy that believes that tomorrow is the rapture and that people are going to disappear. So they have all these billboards out all over the place saying that that's what's going to happen. Well, it says Judgment Day. So I thought maybe it was referring to Woods and I are going to be judging at Mira Mesa's Got Talent. Yes. So I just thought maybe they were giving us a free putt. Could be. Big billboards for us. Could be. Let's see. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. What was the word of the day? That's correct. Congrats. You just won yourself a pair of tickets to see Eddie Vedder at Copley Symphony Hall Tuesday, July the 5th. And a four-pack of tickets to San Diego County Fair. And it starts on June 10th. And it goes through July the 4th. Winning. So hang on the line. There you go. Now, we'll take calls, get a people's opinion on this. This guy says... He doesn't want me to use his name, but says that his wife told him last week that she wants to start running. That's great. No problem. Only problem is she quits everything and I pay for iPod stuff for her new running shoes, tennis rackets, yoga mats, etc. Maybe she gets a job. He actually wrote, maybe she get a job. Any advice? Question mark. Well, I mean, I think it'd be nice to support stuff.
Support your wife? Every whim that she has? Yeah, I guess at some point the whims have to stop, right? Yeah, I mean, listen, I'm not going to point fingers. I have been known to start something and not finish it. P90X. Shut up. A time or two. Yes. All right? Yes. But. Me too. Yeah. It's, they're not super expensive things that I start and not finish. Shut up. P90X, was that free? You got that for free? That was expensive. Got the whole kit. Gym membership? How many times have you been back? Wow. An hour and 20 left. Well, listen. My stuff sometimes can be expensive. I pay for mine, though. My wife's not paying for it, and I'm quitting. I'm paying for it. So, feast. Still, though. Yeah, but if I pay for it. That's only because you have this thing where, you know, her money's hers, your money's yours. Right. But a lot of married couples, it's like their money. They do? Yeah. They should do your bit. The allowance. She's getting an allowance. Yeah. Choose to do whatever you want with it, but you're not getting any more. Oh, that's good. That might be the solution. It's a good bit. Good luck selling her on that. On the allowance bit. Oh. If she's never had it, it's probably not an easy conversation. Yeah. Hey, from now on, you no longer have access to our money. I'm going to tell you what you have access to. Girls love that. Explain the economy. It's this economy. It's the economy. Well, these things don't seem that expensive. How much a yoga mat? It's not that much.
20 bucks. Pair of shoes? A lot. 150 bucks. For what? Running shoes. It depends. Jay and I just priced some together. They're expensive right now. You don't have to get the $150 pair of shoes. They're that cheap. I'm sure she will want some. Start at like 60. Yeah. How much is a tennis racket? A lot. Oh, that's a lot. I make one. Bamboo and... Guitar strings. Old guitar strings. Yeah, guitar strings and bamboo. Or floss, depending. Floss. If I braid it. Floss. Cat goods. Cat Guts. 570. I don't know that I ever would have thought to say Cat Guts. Me neither. I mean, of all the things like piano strings, guitar strings, violin strings, whatever. Now, Cat Guts. Placenta. Ew. Just thinking random weird things. Hon, I'm not using that placenta tennis racket that you made me. He does have a placenta in his yard buried. That is true. M1 Dave from San Diego. Are you there? Hey, guys.
Hi. So here I have advice. Get the book Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. It talks about being a minimalist on running. Ever since I read it, I never spent more than $35 on a pair of running shoes. I like it. $35 for a pair of shoes, man. Hey, Costco, baby. Yeah, there you go. Send her down to Costco. Yeah, sell your wife on that. That's what I'm telling you. No way. Wives love cheap stuff. All right. They love it. All right. Babe, you don't need Louis Vuitton. I got you a purse at Costco. Try that bit. You don't need those Nikes. It's still an L on it. These are from Costco. Can you tell the story about Christmas? And can you tell that story? No. You don't have to. No? I can't tell it. It's such a great story. I can't do it. All right. Oh, man. That's a good one.
I can tell it. All right. I can tell it. He won't care. He's going to surgery in a little bit. So we'll give him a good little roast. Better kick him when he's down. Yeah, I know. So he had traveled somewhere. And I believe that somewhere was New York City. Exotic and wonderful New York City. Yes. And he came home with this big package for my mom. Saved it for Christmas. Christmas Day comes. Now, my mom works for a guy who is a multimillionaire. And every year he gives her like a Chanel purse. And I mean like a $5,000 Chanel purse. No joke. And he's like, hey, Merry Christmas. Easy, Jason Priestley. Seriously. So my dad comes home from New York and he's like, hey, got you a Chanel bag. Brings it out of the closet. Mom looks at it. She's like, that's fake. He's like, no, that's not fake. He's like, that's the real deal. And she's like. Where's the receipt? So my mom obviously is like L.O.B. She's like, I need proof. I want to see it. He's like, well, I don't have the receipt, Marsha. And my mom's like, eh.
It's because it's a fake bag that you bought on Canal Street. Oh, my God. And he debated her for a good, solid while. Plus, she's like, Gary, I know what I'm looking at. That's a fake. He's like, easy eyeball fashion designer. But, yeah, he tried to sneak one faster past the goalie. You're not getting one by my mom. Yeah, well, you know when you put, you know. a set of keys in the purse, and the handles fall off. Yeah, dude. So my mom was like, yeah, let me just put that back in the closet. Yeah, look, it's a brand new Rolex. You know when they spell Chanel with an S instead of a C? S-H-A-N-E-L. Chanel. My mom was like, nice try, pal. You know when you get a Rolex, but it doesn't come in any kind of container that says Rolex? It's just a Rolex. It's been a plastic Ziploc. It's been a little plastic Ziploc. I love you, Dad. I know you're listening. That's fantastic. I'm sorry. I love it. It's a good bit. 570-1949 is our number. We gave you some odds yesterday, and I want to give you some more. Here you go. Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,721. Never tell me the odds. Odds of being struck by lightning, one in 576,000. Wow. Yeah, half a million. So not bad, but the odds of being killed.
By lightning. One in 2,320,000. Really? Wow. So apparently when people get struck, usually they don't die. Man, I bet it's bad. The guy that lost half his arm got struck by lightning. Really? Yep. Oh, dude. His name was George Crisp. Really? Yeah. Crisp? True story. Crisp. For real. On my mother, George Crisp. Right or left arm? It was his left arm. Where'd it hit him? Like here. In the elbow? Where did it go? Where did it go? George Crisp. George Crisp. Odds of dating a supermodel. One in one, Mac. Yeah. Depends on who you're asking. You're asking me one in one. One in one. Asking, Mikey, there's not a number that goes that high. Yeah, just infinite eight on its side. Infinity. Odds of dating a supermodel are one in 88,000 men.
Saying there's a chance. Tell me there's a chance. The odds that a first marriage will survive without separation or divorce for 15 years. One in every 1.3 marriages. Handle the truth. Odds that a celebrity marriage will last a lifetime. One in three. Come on. One. In three. 100,000. Odds of getting hemorrhoids. 100. Okay. One in 25. 100%. Gross. I got hemorrhoids right now. I got hemorrhoids on my butt. Right now. Oh, wow. E. Odds of being audited by the IRS. One in five. No. One in 20. No.
One in 100. One, you're close. One in 175. Wow. Just waiting on mine. Yikes me. You have a one in 200 chance of getting your identity stolen. Oh, wow. That's insane. Yeah. And you have a one in 215 shot, ladies, of dating a millionaire. Ladies. Men. Ladies. True. Yeah, what is that supposed to mean, Mike? Women can't be millionaires, is what Mikey was saying. It's impossible. It says. Ladies, one in 25. Just reading from this piece of paper. So what's this deal? Who is Nunez?
Oh, Nunez is the guy who Arnold Schwarzenegger, his buddy that he worked with, and Arnold Schwarzenegger pardoned his son and not pardoned, but reduced his jail sentence. He was a former state assembly speaker, Fabian Nunez, and he's now breaking his silence over the scandal involving his son. His 22-year-old son, Esteban. Esteban. Sorry, Mike. Esteban. Esteban is my Spanish name. Esteban is serving now less than half of what he was ordered by a judge because of Arnold Schwarzenegger. He reduced his sentence from 16 years to seven on his last day in office. Well, finally, Nunes is coming forward and he says he understands the anger sparked by everyone. But he said, quote, my son should pay for what he did. No question about it. But I also felt I had something to do with the sentence being as harsh as it was. And I felt I had something to about it. It had something to. I had to do something about it. There you go. I can read, I swear. It's not really a crime more harsh than murder, though. The FBI wants to talk to Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, about the 1982...
Tylenol deaths. Yes, where seven people were killed over three days. And the FBI has now requested Ted Kaczynski's DNA as part of their probe. I mean, it's been 30 years since the murders, but it became known that the FBI is looking for his DNA because of a court motion he filed. Ted Kaczynski trying to keep materials from his Montana cabin that he claims would exonerate him like his journals, which we know are being auctioned off online. And Ted Kaczynski has refused. Refused to provide a DNA sample. And he can't be forced to give one without a court order. Really? Wow. Yeah, but they think he may have something to do with it. Oh, do we have the Katy Perry writer? Yeah. Let me see that. I'll give it to you. Now, this thing kind of blows me away for a few reasons, okay? Woods sent me this. They got a hold of Katy Perry's writer. If you don't know what a writer is... A writer is, when a band or an artist is going to perform at a venue, they have a legal binding contract that must be signed by the promoter that says, okay, if the Kings of Leon are going to play here, this is what you need to provide for the Kings of Leon when they play. And it's usually things for their dressing room, that sort of thing. But it can go beyond that. In fact, most of the time, with bigger artists, it does.
Now, the dressing room things are interesting. There's no doubt about it. They're interesting items on her dressing room. It has to be a spacious room with its own private bathroom and good lighting. But I'm just going to read down a couple of these things with letting you know I'm going to get to something real juicy. But I just want to give you some of these. The room needs to be piped and draped in cream or soft pink. The room needs a six-foot banquet table, one full-length mirror, six folding chairs, two trash can bins, two comfortable armchairs, egg chairs, one with a footstool and cream, one coffee table. It needs to be a Perspex modern-style coffee table, two floor lamps, French ornate style, one refrigerator with a glass door, arrangement of fresh flowers. consisting pink. So pink must be present within the arrangement. White and purple hydrangeas, pink and white roses, or peonies. Am I saying that right? Sure. Or, if the above is not available, selection of seasonal white flowers, which must include white orchids, absolutely no carnations, six hand towels, eight bath-sized towels, liquid hand wash, and one ten...
based Ethernet or high speed card. Okay. Then they go into various male dressing rooms and the backup dancers and that kind of stuff. But where it got really interesting was when they got into her driver. Okay. Because she needs to have a, well, two, two more real interesting things. First of all, the principal driver, meaning that this is going to be the chauffeur that takes her to and from the venue. This driver, if the driver leaves the vehicle, he must notify the client, Katy Perry. He must make sure the doors are unlocked when picking up the client. The driver will not start a conversation with the client. The driver's cell phone ringer must be turned off. The driver will not make any personal calls while driving the client. nor will he be talking on the phone while driving unless an emergency occurs or is instructed to do so. But he won't know because it's ringing on me. Right. The driver is not security. The driver does not open doors. The artist security or entourage will do so. The driver will not talk to the client's guests or fans. Always park less than one mile away from the drop point and only...
If no direct parking is available in the direct vicinity, the driver will never assume. Always ask if in doubt. The driver must always have two company cards with contact information. The driver will always open doors and the driver must stay in the driver's seat. Driver always needs to know where the emergency medical and police stations are. It goes on and on, but I think you get the idea. Oh, do not ask for autographs or pictures. This is where it gets real interesting. Apparently, they reserve the right, and by they I mean Katy Perry's management, reserves the right with the promoter to offer the first 10 rows of the venue in front of the stage for sale. Tickets for such rows shall not be used for any other purpose set forth in paragraphs 4.9, D, E, or F.
unless otherwise requested by the booking agent. The promoter shall not sell or hold any of the tickets to any record company or any other music industry company. But how about this? If the company elects, and by the way, Katy Perry is the company. If the company elects to use resellers, The promoter shall hold tickets for each performance in quantities and in locations as designated by the personal manager for distribution to the public through resellers. Resellers shall mean any ticket agency, ticket reseller, or other so-called secondary market seller of the tickets, such as, by way of example, StubHub in the United States, who sell tickets to the general public. Promoter expressly acknowledges and agrees that companies shall be entitled to retain for company sole account such portions of the proceeds from the sales made by the resellers as the company and resellers may agree. In other words, you got to hold a bunch of tickets in the first 10 rows for me and I can sell them on StubHub and I can make it back. Now, this is not a beat up on Carrie Perry section. In fact, all it really did is make me go, oh. Standard.
That's how they do it. Yeah. That's how and why. Because I had always heard that bands, and I mean big bands, rich bands, really want a tour. And that they make a ton of dough on tour. And I was like, what cut do they get out of the door? And what is it, t-shirts? Or like, how are they making all that dough? It's because they agree that 10 rows are theirs. Right. And they get to sell them for four grand a pop. Yep. You know what I mean? There's a lot of dough in that. Absolutely. That's Katy Perry's writer. We've got a text message from somebody that just moved in with somebody that they met on Craigslist. And wait till I tell you what this person put in the dishwasher. You haven't heard everything. Make some noise with our live studio audience here.
Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Why don't you tell him the whole story? Time to wake up, sir. Call 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Shut up! More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubbies and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. Making the unmanly choice of drinking light beer with less taste. How? With great tasting Miller Lite, Taste Points, and awesome summer discounts. So man up at tastepoints.com today. Appoint your residents 21 or older.
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You know, I'm not a Smashing Pumpkins fan, but I will say this. I'll hear something every once in a while where I go, man, I can't deny that's good. And this is an example. That record, Siamese Dream, is phenomenal. All of it. All of it. Really? All of it. I don't like the hits on there. Today? Don't like that. Maybe I like this stuff. Maybe I like the other stuff on there. You used to call me a clown, dude. That's right. Going to Whataburger at 3 o'clock in the morning, you're calling me a clown, bro. Get your feet off my dashboard, all right? So you know what's going on in the news?
Well, federal regulators yesterday said that the San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station, also known as the Dolly Parton Memorial. Have you heard that before? No! That is the greatest. It is at extremely low risk of a meltdown in an earthquake situation. They did a bunch of tests and inspections, and they found very few problems at the plant that would mean that they'll be able to cope with threats of fire and flooding and major earthquake, which is good news for us. Also, this is a pretty crazy story. A Georgia man pocket dialed 911. Now, he did this on accident. He was working at a Waffle House restaurant. Called 911 around 1.30 in the morning on Wednesday. The dispatcher answered and heard people talking about a drug deal involving prescription narcotics.
So the cops show up to this Waffle House restaurant. They find who has the phone in the pocket, who made the phone call, and end up charging this 18-year-old kid with drug possession. They found out that he had hydrocodone? Yeah, that's Vicodin. Okay. Stay away from the crack. And Alprazolam tablets? Totally, totally. Alprazolam. No, I didn't. That is the generic of Klonopin. Oh, how would I know? So I guess the bottom line is if you're going to have a conversation with your buddies about drugs, Alprazam? No, Alprazolam. Alprazolam, that's... It's either that or it's either... Because I take it. It's either... Alprazolam. Alprazolam. It's either Klonopin or it's Adderall. The generic form. Two very different things. Yeah, yeah. Well, turn your phone off if you're going to have drug conversations. Make sure you're not calling 911. Well, make sure you have a prescription. Right. Well, he was charged with drug possession. Woodsy. Yes, Mike. This is the Dolly Parton. It's brilliant. What is it called? The Dolly Parton Memorial. That's hysterical. I've never heard San Onofre called that. It's very funny.
Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, if you didn't hear earlier, the Padres are very close to announcing a new TV deal that will net the club between $25 and $30 million a season for the next 20 seasons, which is incredible. One of the lowest payrolls in Major League Baseball. Now just got a little cash infusion. Maybe buy some players with that money. Well, it'll also be a deal where maybe if you don't have Cox Cable or the Time Warner deal. You can still now you can watch. Wouldn't it be nice to live in a city that where you could watch your baseball team would be rad. Yeah, I would love it. I would love it. Also, I told you earlier in the week that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have turned down the HBO documentary show Hard Knocks. Now, another team has turned down Hard Knocks. The Denver Broncos said they don't want the headache. They don't want the publicity. The distraction. The distraction. And they have. also turned down hard knocks. So they'll be maybe knocking on the charger's door soon enough. No pun intended. There you go. So let me ask you a question. If you were looking for a roommate and you needed a place to move into and you're looking on Craigslist and you found somebody and you moved in with them and they're your new roommate, would you find it unusual if you went to the dishwasher?
And notice that the dishwasher was done being run. Would you find it at all unusual to open the dishwasher and find that your new roommate had washed the litter box? Woods is staring at me right now with an emotionless, terrified, in shock. And I don't blame you, Woods, because that's exactly what happened. What's the big deal? Oh, boy. Extra bits of protein. It cleans. It's washing. It's poop. With your plates. Okay, so would you wash your dog's bowl in the dishwasher? Yeah, they don't poop in it. But they lick. Yeah, they lick my mouth. Yeah, but they lick everywhere. There's no poop in there. Really, there's not? No, they don't eat poop. I don't think so. That's not the purpose of a dog bowl. What do you think they're doing with their tongue?
Eating and drinking. Yes, that isn't the purpose of the dog. They are cleaning. You could drop your spoon on the ground. There could be remnants, and then it could be on the spoon. But the purpose of a litter box is... It's a toilet. Excrement. It's a cat toilet. It's a cat toilet. It's pee and poop. And I don't want it in the same place where my glasses, my spoons, my forks go. Okay, the person that sent us this did not say why the roommate did that. So what I would like to now conjecture on, what I'd like to throw around and sort of go around the horn on. Spitball. Spitball. It's like pardon the interruption. Yes, like PTI. Is why did they do that? Besides the fact that they're legally insane. Okay, that being said, that aside, that they are in fact legally. Ted Bundy-like. Clinically. Clinically insane. Clinically insane. Cleanliness. They learned it from their mother or their grandmother. Something their mother or their grandmother did. I wholeheartedly accept that. Their grandmother. That's something that only a grandmother would do. Because by the time a mother was of age in this generation, they would know that that's the filthiest thing that they've ever heard. Yes. Picking that thing up and dumping out the...
The knife that's got a little avocado on it. Your baby's bottles. We all know they don't always get clean. So imagine you're going to use a fork and there's a little speck of... What is that? Oh, L-O-B, you got me. That may make me pass out. It's not Rocky Road. You got me, L-O-B. On the TV right now. Not kidding. Just happened to look up. Happened to look up at the television. Oh, my. And on the TV was a cat digging around in a litter box. You know what that cat's saying? You're going to put me in the dishwasher. Yeah. You're going to put me in the dishwasher. I can do whatever I want. I can do whatever I want. You rub it in so it's hard to get it out. Miguel. Yeah. You have a cat. Yep. Have you ever wanted... No, no, no, no, no.
My wife has a cat. Which pretty much means you have a cat, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But let's be clear. Okay. Yes. Okay, yeah. I don't want to paint you with that. My wife has a cat, and it's technically my roommate. Right. Have you ever once emptied the litter box one time? Yes. You have? Yeah. Rebecca was pregnant, and I had to do the litter box the whole time she was pregnant. By the way, last night, midnight, last night, I heard that. animal meowing. And I woke up and it woke me up. That's what it sounds like. Not that. No. Angry. You gotta record it next time. You gotta record it. Aww. Bye kitty. So I Wake up. And I think, oh, the cat is in our walk-in closet because I've now convinced my wife that when we have our growth group over on Thursday nights, that we should lock the cat away because some people are allergic to cats. And there's a guy in our growth group that's allergic to cats. He is. He's allergic to it. Woods is giving me a bit like, yeah, it's a bit. Nobody's really allergic to things.
But he is. I'm sniffly. All right. Breaks out, dude. Eyes red. My eyes are red. Turn like glue. They're all stuck together. Do you have any vising? I hope you develop allergies. Oh, he will. You watch. You watch. So anyway, so I get up and I turn the alarm off and I go to the closet and open the walk-in closet and he's not in there. And that was just enough confusion in my brain. Because that confused me. I thought, well, this is where he is. And when I opened the door and he wasn't there, now my brain trips to confusion, which in turn takes me from a sort of ambient sleep to a, I'm a little bit more awake sleep. See, because you have that kind of sleep that you can go pee. And then when you get back in bed, boom, you're out. Okay? Love that. But then you have that kind of sleep where you go pee and you hear, I can see. And now you're not in that same type of sleep. You're in a different type of awareness. Completely awake and terrified. And terrified. Yeah. And so when I opened the door and still heard,
I was like, what is going on? So I walked into the bedroom and Rebecca, like kind of groggy, goes, did you turn off the alarm? And I said, yeah. And she never wakes up. She said, did you turn off? I said, yeah. And she said, why? I said, because your cat, because your cat is making a noise somewhere. And she said, I guess I got this one, huh? I'm on it. On the case. So I got back in bed and I tried to fall asleep. Gosh. And I actually thought in my head, I measured, I did a monster measure and I thought, okay. Not to be confused with a monster mash. Yes. Monster measure. That was a graveyard smash. I did a monster measure and I said, okay, how much of a monster am I? And how much of a monster can I deal with that I am?
And finally, I got to the point where I thought, eh, thank God thinks I'm too much of a monster. So I got to get up again. I was right there, almost to the point where I thought I was off the hook. But I got up and I thought, he's on our balcony. She put him out on the balcony. And I was irritated because there's a little outdoor couch out there. And I thought, that little guy's got it better than Haitians. Oh, yeah. Way better. Way better. Than starving Haitians. And they don't go. So I open the door. He's not out there. I'm like, is this like a haunted cat? Is this a cat that's come back from another life to haunt me? You know? And so I close the door and I lock it. And I got back in bed. and I decided that the monster level had dropped significantly, and I fell back to sleep. Now, I woke up two hours later, no meowing, and I open our bedroom door, and laying at the foot of the door is that stupid cat. Aww. I guess that's where he'd been. He wanted attention. Yeah, he wanted to hang out with you. It's weird that a pet, a house pet, would want your attention. Yeah, I give it to him. I'm the only one.
You couldn't tell where the meowing was coming from? No. That's a problem, isn't it? Yes. He went outside. He was disoriented. Checked the trunk of your car. He wasn't there. Looked in the refrigerator. Well, I'm done. Microwave. Yeah. Not sitting on the toilet. Inside of my shoe. Right. Not right outside the door. Just wanting to come in, curl up in that bed with you guys. He didn't do that, though. But he wanted to. Yeah, but he doesn't ever do that. It was really unusual. He's going through a phase. He's going through a phase. Need some love. Just bring him to my house. I'll take him for a little bit if you need. You know what? And this is a true statement. I can only say this because my wife is not listening right now. She's decided that she likes Jeff and Jer. Fair enough. If I took Jules to your house. The over and under on her noticing, I believe, would be three days. Yeah, right. I'll take that. I'll take that. I'll say the over. I'll take the over. No. Oh, I will take. She'll notice immediately. Define, Sienna, define immediately. Within two hours. You know me better. You know me. There's like Rebecca and then probably you, Sienna. You're so wrong about this.
I'm not. I'm telling you, as a distracted mother with a baby now, and my poor dog hates me and feels the same as your cat Jules, you know. You know that something's missing, and she'll immediately figure it out. Cats are a lot more self-sufficient. They're, like, missing most of the time. She would notice Tuesday. Yeah. Tuesday, she would say, have you seen Jules? Well, if she's not listening right now, why don't we do it? I think I have to run it by the missus. We've got five dogs. Seven right now. Seven dogs. You know what cats do when they're in a new place? Oh, never mind. Shred. Stay there? They like to mark their territory, and that smell does not come out. Jules will be fighting for his life in that house. Yes. Yeah. I'm sorry, Jules. You know what I did yesterday? What? Stared at the toilet. How long? About hours. I slept in the toilet. Then, I read a freaking book. I noticed that a cat was reading a book on top of the kitchen island. That war is heat. All right. in peace. Try to get Mikey's attention. I read the Bible. He couldn't. Nobody notices. No one notices me. Ever. I'm so sorry. I am. Why don't you rescue me? Why don't you send SEAL Team 6 in? Two in the head, one in the chest or whatever. Please, put me out of my misery. I wish I had two more lives left and that was it. So sorry. How many do you have? I got nine lives. Oh, wow. So I have to just sit here.
And look at the wall or the toilet for nine hours a day. Yesterday. It's like Gitmo. Yeah, it's like Gitmo for cats. Yesterday, I tried to talk to Claudia. She speaks Spanish. I don't even speak Spanish. But I begged her to talk to me. Even she didn't want to talk to me. No. So sorry. You're a sweet cat. You are. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. You're very sweet. You're cuddly. No. You're fat. I'm actually. I'm actually a pain in the butt. You're not. They say you're like a dog except for the fact that you're a cat. Yes, you're very dog-like. Yesterday I forgot to eat. Or did you forget to be fed? Are you sure you're Mikey's cat? No, we got food. I just forget. Sometimes I'm like, what day is this? It's called depression. Yeah, you want to know something, buddy? I just watched that movie Castaway. Tom Hanks. My life's exactly the same. I wish I had that freaking volleyball. That bloody volleyball. I talk that. All the things that we use every day that were invented by accident. And it's kind of cool. Make some noise. Yeah, well-known. Show coming up. I think we have it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. Ruh-roh. F. M. M. 90. 4. 9. B.
We know you want ultimate performance and ultimate fuel efficiency. So now BMW Encinitas is making it easier to drive a new BMW. Now you can lease a new 2011 535i sedan with the ultimate MPG, 30 highway miles per gallon for just... $579 a month plus tax. And with BMW picking up your first four years or 50,000 miles maintenance, you'll save thousands over the life of your BMW. Going on now at BMW Encinitas. Get the ultimate savings and ultimate fuel efficiency. A 535i with 30 miles per gallon for just $579 a month. BMW Encinitas on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or visit us online at bmwencinitas.com. When he finishes his morning cup of coffee, he flies home from Columbia. Objects in his side view mirror appear exactly as they are. He believes the pen is mightier than the sword, especially his patented gun pen. Hardware stores were his idea.
His bird baths have been known to attract bald eagles. It doesn't matter if they're running a sale or not. He's getting up to 50% off select mattresses. If you were to say, oh, no, he didn't, chances are, oh, yes, he did. He is the most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer those sackys. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friend. Hi, I'm Darla. I'm a Fresh and Easy neighborhood market customer. This message is by a real customer, not a celebrity. Saving money, we pass on to you. I've always told people about Fresh and Easy. I tell them all the fresh stuff I get. I'll come in here and I'll see something else. Mmm, that looks interesting. Let me try it. As my husband said, I'm the guinea pig. I've never had a Fresh and Easy product that I didn't like. Thanks, Fresh and Easy. Thanks, Darla. You just saved us some money. Now we can offer low prices on the newest season of fruits. Enjoy sweet nectarines and peaches for just 98 cents a pound. Prepare to make the jump to light speed. Good idea, Han. We've got to get the Chevron Extra Mile for the takeoff to adventure game. You can instantly win Extra Mile bucks or enter your code online for a chance to win a Disneyland Resort vacation to experience the new Star Tours with airfare from Southwest Airlines Vacations. That was my...
There's new, and then there's new. As in, original. As in, the reset button has been pressed. As in, the 2011 Mercedes-Benz lineup, the youngest and freshest in the luxury car class, backed by 125 years of innovation. Consider the 2011 E-Class with technology like Attention Assist, which can sense and alert drivers if they become drowsy. The E-Class continues to chart its own course. Ironically, one test drive reveals that all this new technology prompts an old reaction. Amazement. Lease the E350 Sport Sedan, an IHS top safety pick, for just $599 a month for 33 months with $4,369 due at signing. Only at your authorized Mercedes-Benz dealer. A new year, a new level of innovation from Mercedes-Benz. Available only to qualify customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through May 31, 2011. Equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-F4-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Horn Motors of Crossbed, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, or visit SoCalMB.com. Peter considers himself the smartphone king.
Right now, he's videoing himself as he ziplines over Fremont Street in Vegas while emailing his mom about the meal he just had in the Cosmopolitan's China Poblano and simultaneously tweeting his followers a pic of the outfit he just scored at the only Tom Ford store on the West Coast. Peter's phone is smart, but his status updates are even smarter. I like to keep it interesting. Find your own way to Vegas at visitlasvegas.com. Paid for by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. Hey gang, it's Woodsy once again for NutriShop. I got to tell you, visited those guys and they've put me on a program. They're going to get me off all the donuts, the fast food, and I'm going to lose weight and I'm going to feel better. And it's already started. They've got me on the Contour Elite stack. I'm on a cleanse, a fat burner, and a nighttime fat burner. This thing has been dynamite. Get over to NutriShop. They're going to custom make a plan for you. They are located in Eastlake or in Mission Valley. Get in there and start getting results. Tell them what he sent you.
Come celebrate with us today and experience the all new Jeep Compass, luxurious Jeep Grand Cherokee, and legendary Jeep Wrangler. We don't just make SUVs, we make history. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. Oil Day sales event. Lease Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x4 for $369 a month for 39 months with $24.99. Do at least sign for well-qualified lessees. Tax, time, and license extra. Call 1-888-925-Jeep for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Residency restrictions apply. Take delivery by 531. Get to Kohl's incredible savings sale this Friday through Sunday. Shop power hours Friday 3 to 11 p.m. and Saturday 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. The more you know, the more you Kohl's. Kohl's. Expect great things. The Mikey Show. With Mikey. I'm not into it. See, here's the thing too. Guy stuff. Love guy stuff. I just, it's like cars. I love cars. Lauren. I can be sweet when I want to be, but oh, I'm so cut too. Oh boy. Like a knife. Woods. Every day now I'm questioning why I have five dogs. I spent my afternoon cleaning up.
I'm not a farter, but I live with farters. It definitely makes me laugh. What is the coolest thing I've ever made? We don't have that kind of time. Let's hear it for Los Tacos and Robbie. So good, man. Got to meet these two guys that started this place. They've been friends since they were in fifth grade. Really an interesting story. I was like, I'm reading their story and I'm going, they should be like on the Food Network or something. Because they've known each other since they were in fifth grade. And then when they just had this passion for Mexican food. Mikey. Wow. And they decided that they were going to hire butchers to teach them how to cut the meats. They were going to hire taqueros. Mikey. Mikey. Taco chefs to teach them how to make everything from scratch. And then they opened.
Los Tacos in Oceanside six years ago. And they realized that nobody was making street tacos up in North County. Tacos and burritos. So then they open another location and they call this place Grubby's. That does really well. So then they combine Los Tacos and Grubby's and they call it... Senior Grubbies in Carlsbad. Mikey in line. And they're going to be out at Independence Jam. Calm down, Mike. On June 5th. And they're going to be supplying food. You just had some of it. Just settle down. So come out to the pier, walk down the pier, and just get some. It's a long walk on the pier. It's a long walk. Get a golf cart, Mike. Get a golf cart, Mike. Any other word he could have chose to say. You should take a long walk off a short pier, Mike. You get it? It means that this pier runs out while you're still walking. You fall in. Make a big splash. Now, officiate. Officiate yourself. Yes, officiate yourself. Associate yourself.
Sienna, tell me some of these products that were invented by accident. Viagra. No. Yes. What were they trying to do? Jay. Jay. I don't need it. Chemists were developing a pill to treat cardiovascular ailments in 1991 when something came up, literally. That sidetracked those efforts, and that thing turned out to be Viagra. I said it the other day on the air. The way they make Viagra is they take my blood, synthesize it, and then they make it into pills. Wow. Viagra. They take the average of my DNA. Divide it. Divide it, and then put it in Viagra. I got to fly up to Pfizer once every couple months. They run out. They run out of me. And so I got to go up there, give blood. I'm like, hey, Susie, how's the kids? They draw blood. Christmas card. Did you get my Christmas card? No, because I didn't send you one because I ain't buying one or paying for stamps. I sent you an e-card. Didn't you get it? Did you get that pigeon that I sent? The greeting card that I drew? Jasper? One drop of my blood supplies millions. That's right.
What else? Another accidental invention was Rogaine. The drug minoxidil was used for blood pressure. It was supposed to be a drug for that, and it had a side effect of thickening and darkened hair. Even if I could grow my hair back like Troy Polamalu, I still don't think people would accept me with hair. They just wouldn't do it. They don't want it. You look good. They want their mic like they want their mic. That's true. Corn flakes were accidental. Dr. John Harvey Kellogg was working on a vegetarian diet, and he was trying to boil wheat and leave it unattended at doing something. And it kept breaking off into these pieces, and they wouldn't hold the shape that he wanted, and it turned out they were delicious. That's also how crack was invented, by the way. They were boiling cocaine and bacon. And accidentally came up with it. Man. Microwave. It was Maynard T. Crack, I think, that actually made the mistake to this day. Alexander Graham Crack. And microwave ovens were also accidental.
I think a lot of people think they still are. Yeah, for sure. Scientists were experimenting with a device called Magnetron, and it's a microwave-emitting tube used as part of a military radar system. That's what Kim calls my wiener, Magnetron. That's radioactive. Wow. Don't stand too close. You might get burned. Get it? Get it? Mike? But he noticed... That song by the police, Don't Stand So Close, it's about me. It's about me. I'm like the sun. Don't stand. Don't stand. Don't stand so close to me. Put your eye out. He noticed that a candy bar was melting when he was working. Did somebody say candy bar? And the last thing was artificial sweeteners. They were trying to make an anti-ulcer medication. Yeah. Stumbled across anti-sweeteners. I know that super glue was created on accident. They were trying to do something else. They were trying to make some sort of adhesive and they failed. That's right. Jay, where are we? We're right here. Are we good? Yeah, you're still good. All right. You got about two minutes. Dos minutos. No, I don't. I have about 30 seconds.
It's 41. It's 3935. Jay always. This is the one. This is the one. I can't do it. I don't know why. At this time, he always forgets to tell me what time to do the thing when I'm dealing with the thing. Let's see. 5701949 is our number. Hangover 3 is in the works. Yes. Now, Hangover 2 is about to come out, and so everyone's very excited. Maybe they should wait and see how that does. Todd Phillips says that there will likely be a Hangover sequel, Hangover 3, and he said the third would very much be a finale and an ending. Just a last bachelor party where everybody gets into some hijinks and just get drunk. Keep going. It's funny. What about... Gaga and Starbucks. What's that about? She is teaming up with Starbucks. Starbucks is hosting a Gaga-infused scavenger hunt across Facebook and Twitter where Gaga fanatics can follow her exploits and search out clues. The top winner gets special access to one of her concerts in the 2012 World Tour. So they're streaming through Starbucks everywhere starting May 23rd.
I'm making my own blend, Mike. You are? It's going to have zebra huffs in it. That sounds right. That sounds about right. Let's make some noise in the studio. We've got a live studio audience here. You got something worth adding to the Mikey Show? Thanks, Nostradamus. Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. No. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. There he is, the Prince of Canada. Mikey. More coming up on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets.
It's often said that actions speak louder than words. And what better example than car and drivers take on the BMW 3 Series? They not only named it to their 10 best list again this year, but they did so for an unprecedented 20 years in a row. Is it because it's faster and more powerful than the Audi A4, Lexus IS250, or the Mercedes C300? Or because BMW includes no-cost maintenance, saving you thousands over other brands? Or because it delivers a joy that only the ultimate driving machine can? It's time to let your actions decide. The test drive of a 3 Series today. Claim based on published 3 Series sedan and competitors 0-60 in horsepower. For ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4-BMW. For a limited time, lease the BMW 328i sedan for $339 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Here at the Coors Brewery, our viewpoint hasn't changed in nearly 140 years. Because right outside our window is a stunning view of the Rockies. The only place...
legendary Coors Banquet beer has ever been brewed. Banquet is made with only Rocky Mountain water and the best high country barley for that smooth, full-flavored taste. We've been doing it that way since 1873, and like the mountains themselves, that's not about to change. If your views are anything like ours, then you know a good thing when you see it. It's in that cold Banquet bottle. Right there on the bar. Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Coors Banquet believes with great beer comes great responsibility. You drive to and from work every day, to and from the grocery store, and to and from your kid's soccer practice. When was the last time you thought about driving toward a better future? Right now, University of Phoenix is offering you the chance to test drive our classroom in a free three-week orientation workshop designed for working learners.
Call 1-866-4ENROLL to learn more about our free three-week university orientation. This is your chance to experience life at University of Phoenix through a free workshop where you'll learn how to navigate our San Diego area classrooms along with our award-winning online learning platforms. It's never too late to head somewhere new with a degree from University of Phoenix. Call 1-866-4ENROLL or visit phoenix.edu slash enroll to learn more about our free three-week university orientation. and get started along a new road to a brighter future. This free orientation workshop is available for students with less than 24 credits. At Boy's Head, we work hard to make our oven gold turkey the best it can be. It's pure turkey breast, slow roasted the old-fashioned way. But there's a downside to such excellence. Boy's Head Oven Gold is a magnet for lunch thieves. You open up the office fridge and find your oven gold turkey sandwich has been stolen, pilfered, pinched. So what can you do? Well, you could get a cheap turkey sandwich from a sandwich chain, something made from ground-up pots, preservatives, and fillers like seaweed extract. Nobody's going to steal that. Or you could stand by your oven gold turkey and take defensive measures, invest in a padlocked lunchbox, set up a fridge cam, or simply eat your lunch at 10 a.m. before anyone has a chance to steal it. Sure, it's a little extra effort, but a great turkey sandwich needs protecting.
And oven gold is the best there is. Boar's Head. Compromise elsewhere. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses in select supermarkets, gourmet stores, and fine eateries. Dude, what happened last night? I can't find my Super Big Gulp cup. What? You mean the one showing the guy from The Hangover Part 2? We have to find that cup. All right, let's retrace our steps. Okay, well, we started at 7-Eleven. But what happened after that? I think we got kidnapped. By a bachelorette party. Oh, yeah, and they made us get tattoos of the bride's name. That explains who Lois is. Hey, why does mine say Antonio? Amigos. No way. He's the dancer who rescued us. Oh, right, and he got us into that killer party at the mansion. Wait, didn't you get into a fight there with someone's pet monkey? Yeah, I hate that monkey. Hey, he stole the cub. Don't miss out on the action. Get your very own Super Big Gulp Cups with exclusive images from The Hangover Part 2 today, only at 7-Eleven. Collect all five and be sure to check out the movie The Hangover Part 2 in theaters May 26th. This is the sound of Becky using a deposit-friendly ATM from Chase. So I just push the deposit checks button and slide these checks right in the slot. This is the sound of Jane depositing checks at her bank's ATM. Ugh, I gotta lick this envelope.
Ow! Becky. And I get a picture of my checks on the receipt to confirm. Jane. I got a paper cut on my tongue. Becky. Okay, I'm done. Jane. Excuse me, can I borrow your pen again? I forgot to put my account number on the envelope. Say goodbye to deposit slips and envelopes with Chase Deposit Friendly ATMs. A faster way to deposit checks, even cash. Deposit up to 30 checks and 50 bills at a time. Just slide them in. And with a picture of your check on your receipt, you know that your deposit is safe and secure. Now that's a step forward. Thank you. Here's a pen back. Deposit-friendly ATMs from Chase. Take a step forward and chase what matters. Deposits are subject to the fund's availability policy. See a banker for details. J.P. Morgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. Stanley takes a good turn. He's going to gamble on going. This is the big gamble, and he makes it! Catch your Padres as they take on the Seattle Mariners, Sunday, May 22nd, under the sun at 105. The first 8,000 kids 14 years younger will receive a free Padres cap presented by Northgate Gonzalez Market. And this one is gone! A grand slam! Be a part of the action. Padres and Mariners, plus a free Padres cap for kids, Sunday, May 22nd at 105. Don't wait. Get your tickets today and save $5 per ticket when you buy online at Padres.com. Oh, no, they didn't. Oh, yes, they did.
Denny's put bacon on ice cream, covered it with maple syrup. A maple bacon sundae. Just one of seven new dishes during Baconaglia. Denny's celebration of bacon. Come in now or anytime. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. Auto Glass Center. Now offering new windshields starting at $99 and $34.99 chip repair with lifetime warranty. 5955 Mira Mesa Boulevard. Fast and convenient, same-day service with the lowest prices guaranteed. Auto Glass Center. 858-216-4300. That's 858-216-4300. The weekend is here. It's time to hit the road, have some fun, and explore all that San Diego has to offer. And remember, shop at Ralph's and for a limited time, earn double reward points with your shell receipt. See store for details. into earnings every day at Shell. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not very aware of what's happening around me. Lauren. Hey, if you got lips, you'd be smooching. Woods. I'm not doing butterfly kisses with you, dude. Ziena. Ooh, tatalongs. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. Whoa, slow mo. Spirit. How will the wolf survive?
Breaking news. Who's giving it? I'll give it. One of the greatest wrestlers of all time, Randy Macho Man Savage, died this morning in a car accident in Tampa, Florida. He suffered a heart attack, which caused him to lose control of his vehicle. And he was 58 years old. Sad. Wow. The guy was legit when I was a kid. Yep. Had the doll. You know, man, I wonder if those dudes just hurt themselves with roids. Yeah, they abuse their bodies. Pretty heavily. But there's always like a heart thing, man. Yeah. Probably too many Slim Jims. Jay. I'm serious. That's mean. There's some updated news. He was driving his 2009 Jeep Wrangler. Sienna. Sienna. What? You can't just make news up. It says it right here. When he veered across a concrete median through oncoming traffic and collided head on with a tree. Oof. Oh, my God. How do you feel about that Slim Jim comment? I take it back. I'm sorry. Nobody's going to say nothing bad to me anyway. Get away with murder. I get away with it. Literally. Yeah, I killed somebody once. No big deal. Everybody's going to go on Facebook and say it's hysterical. Yeah. He deserved it. So I ran over a little old lady in a shopping cart.
That was carrying a baby seal in the shopping cart. It's on YouTube. It's viral. I looked, and all the comments says is, ha, ha, ha, Jay, you're so funny. LOL. LOL, I love Jay. Lots of love, Jay. That's what that means. Man, Jay, you are the best. Jay, you are the funniest part of the Mikey show. Jay, I love you. Jay, you are a goldmine. I heart Jay. He's the best. Jay never stops. That's my wife says that, too. That was me channeling Jay. Let me just say this. We have a live studio audience in here today, so I'm glad that they got to witness Dirty Birdie because people probably wouldn't believe it. They probably wouldn't believe it. They are like, no, Lauren is too sweet and just innocent looking and no way. Those microphones go off and dirty birdie. Filth. She just told a filthy story. I mean, filthy. Yeah, it was pretty dirty. Jay said he's still reeling from something I said yesterday. Oh, my gosh. I'm skeeved. I'm not kidding. Listen, this is a true story. I have, and people think, she's actually made Woods blush. It's a true story. It's hard to do. I don't get offended easily. Dude, I've never seen anybody make you blush. Yes.
She's gotten me a few times. M1 Rizzolo family from San Diego. Yes, I just wanted to let the listeners know about a lemonade stand that's happening this weekend. We're going to be at Balboa Park from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday raising money for pediatric cancer research. It's going to be in Alex's Lemonade Stand in memory of my nephew who lost his battle to pediatric cancer. And we all know the great saying, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So we hope that you can come and support us this Saturday. That's cool. That's cool. Good luck. That's really cool. Hey, thank you. We appreciate that. Thanks a lot. M1 Dogmate from OB. What up? What's up? I was just calling in to say thank you guys for doing what you do. And I know people have tried to chop you guys down, but you guys are here to stay, man.
Well, thank you, bro. Thank you, bro. I appreciate that. That's very nice of you to say. That's M1 dog bait. Lead it. That's a good lead into my testimony, which I do at the end of the show on Friday. And that's where we are. And I'm glad that he said that because. It seems like lately, man, and I said this off the air the other day. I said, I feel kind of at a low point. I feel like I'm at a low point. And I can't quite put my finger on it. But what I do want to share with you is my story. And I'll get to that, but I want to share my story with you. My story could be very similar to anything that happened in your life. Before I tell you, I want you to know that maybe my story isn't anywhere near as tough as you've had it. And maybe it is. I don't know. When I was five years old, I was molested. I don't use that word very often because it's such an ugly word. But it's true. And it made me very insecure. And it made me feel very unsafe.
as I was growing up and made me scared. You know, when I was nine and 10 years old, I had a fear, like a genuine fear of getting kidnapped. It was such an irrational fear. And now as I think back on it, I go, what did that come from? And I guess it was just a feeling of being unsafe. I just felt unsafe. But in addition, I also felt really ugly. I felt really... I felt ugly and I felt unwanted. You know, when I give you this story, I know that there's some people that may listen to it and go, gosh darn it, quit your whining. That's not what it is, man. I want to tell you, I don't tell you this story because I'm whining about it. I tell you this story because some of you may have this story too. And you may feel the same. I used to have an eating disorder because I wanted people, I wanted to be thin and I wanted people to like me.
I used to, so I made myself throw up. I would take pills to make me thinner. And I became addicted to alcohol. And I was abusing coke and methamphetamine. A mess, a complete mess. Hopeless. Trying to find comfort in anything and everything. I wanted to feel complete and whole, loved. In 2003, I asked Jesus Christ into my life. And he saved my life. Me from somebody that was always cold. Somebody that is sometimes cold. It's making sense now why I have felt so distant from him. It's to tell you that he's still here. And he's real. Hopeless? Or you feel unwanted or unloved? Go to MikeyShow.com. At the top of the page is the word help. And if you click on that word, there are resources to help you.
with addiction, depression, eating disorders, and the light never burns out. In my past, the light has burnt out, but not anymore. At the end of the show, I play a song that lyrically has a lot of meaning, and so I ask you to listen to this song, and hopefully it meets you where you are. It's by a band called Red, and it's called Not Alone. I will see you on Monday. I'm not going anywhere tomorrow, as it turns out. Mikey shows up.
Go, go