The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/23/11

0:40This weekend, ready to do this thing again. It's a Mikey show on what should be a good-looking Monday. It's officially summer now, too, because Friday, I think it was the official first day of summer. Today, a little bit of clouds today. Should start warming up by the end of the week. That's good. Doesn't feel like summer. Doesn't. I think it's June 21st. I know. June 21st? Summer solstice. I thought, oh, all right. Feast. Maybe I feast. June 21st is the first day of summer? I believe. That's the longest day of summer. Summer solstice. It's the longest day of the year. Yeah, that's it. Let's see. Phone number, 570-1949. And if you'd like, you can also text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. So much to talk about. There's big stuff in the news. Wait till you hear what Schwarzenegger's kids tweeted.

1:45Woods read it. Also, a lead suspect, finally, in the case about the Giants fan and the Dodgers fan. Remember that Giants fan was beat up by Dodgers fans and the city and the Dodgers, right? Yeah. Took out these big billboard campaigns all over town. And so we'll talk about that. Talk about Randy Macho Man Savage, if you haven't heard. And big movies. Word of the day is salt, by the way. Salt. So when you hear me say that, between now and 10, be caller 9, get a pair of tickets to a big concert with L.A. Rising, Rage Against the Machine. Meows. Rise Against L.A. Coliseum. That's filthy. Yeah, it's July 30th. So that'll be cool. That's the prize today for Word of the Day. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Wearing a pair of jeans from Target.

2:44Yeah. And like them, like them a lot. Went to Target over the weekend and said, there's some pretty good clothes at Target. Not bad. I'm all down with them. Me too. You know, which is different from when I was a kid. When I was a kid, the store like Target was Kmart and you would never, ever want to be caught dead. wearing something from Kmart. You wouldn't want to tell anybody you wore something from Kmart. You as a kid would be made fun of for wearing something from Kmart. Target's cool now. Target's cool. Yeah. It's great. Woodsy's 35. He's our man's man. He's also our sports guy. He is a good friend and a lover of barbecue. So what are you going to do? You don't? I thought you did. Texas particularly, right? I do. You know what I really was thinking in my head and it came out as barbecue is that you enjoy grilling. I don't know why I said it's not barbecue per se. I love barbecue. Love to grill. Love barbecue too. You should have just stopped at a good friend and a lover. I didn't say a lover. I said he was a good friend. I didn't say he was a lover. You said a lover of barbecue. A friend and a lover.

3:59I am a lover of barbecue. I'm a lover of yours. I love you. Thank you. Thank you, buddy. Not your lover, per se. No. But you know what I mean. We're both man enough. Yes. To be able to say, hey, man, I love you. I love you, too. You know. Jay, I love you. I ain't gay, so I ain't saying it bad. Just because you tell me you love me doesn't mean you're homosexual. It means you are gay. If I said to you, I love you too, it just means I want to do Brokeback Mountain camping. No, it doesn't mean that. Yes, it does. Ain't no doubt about it. We're buddies. No. It means I want to put on a cowboy hat and say, I wish I knew how to quit you. And I ain't saying it. I ain't saying any of that. Don't need to. I like girls. Thank you. Lauren O'Brien is 30 years of age. Shouldn't look it, though. She looks a lot younger than that. She could easily get a role in a movie for a 19-year-old. Oh. Did Jay just say, in the hay? Yep. All right. Romp in the hay. Monday morning. Yeah, that's right. Welcome to it. Jay just gets a morning started off, rise and shine, everybody. He's just like, over easy eggs and bacon. That's right. If the over easy eggs and bacon were complete.

5:14Completely perverted. And disgustingly creepy. And disgustingly creepy. This is true. Sienna is our news girl. She's 26 years of age. And she's got the sweetest, kindest heart there is. That's all I'm going to tell you. She is a sweet and kind girl. And a little softy heart. So is LLB, believe it or not. I mean, she comes off as being a... She can be kind of a tough girl on the exterior, but she's softy. She is. And a romantic. Yes. Jay is our producer. He's like the uncle that you have that says inappropriate things. Wiener time. Like that. He is 47 years of age but looks a lot younger. Hey, Jay, you said in your recap, you said in your recap today that you're going to be going to Vail Lake for something called the 12-hour race? Yeah, it's the 12 hours of Temecula. Okay. Because I was like... Is that Vail, Colorado? No, no, it's Temecula. Okay. And you actually, why is it called the 12-hour? Because it's a 12-hour race. And you're really racing for 12 hours? I'm not going to do the whole 12 hours. I broke it up with the... Well, you're a human being. I'm doing 24. No, I'm doubling it. The guy I rode with over the weekend, a Navy SEAL, he's going to do the whole 12 hours himself. I'm going to do it. I'm doing it with three other teammates, so we'll take turns every three hours. I'll do a lap. It's like an eight-mile lap. Oh, my gosh.

6:41Fun. Eight mile lap. I know it. Went and rode it this weekend. Crazy. Oh, he's a different type of dude. He really is. Open phones. Call right now with whatever you want. Screening phones for us today is Alan. It's Alan. It's Alan. It's Alan. Hello, Alan. Alan is a good dude. And I don't know how old Alan is. Hold up fingers to show me how old you are. 22. Wow. Alan's 22. Sharp kid and very soft-spoken, kind of shy. Yeah. Good dude. Really like Alan. I think he's kind of a loud mouth myself. Yeah. I'll fire him right now. He can stand to shut up. I'll just, I'll punch him right in the neck. I already kicked him in the shin this morning, first thing I saw him. That's right. He said, hi, Jay, and I kicked him in the shin. It's a Texas hello. That's right. Texas hello. You ever just tell people the world's going to end on May 21st and then it doesn't end on May 21st?

7:44You just go, wow, sorry, I guess I was wrong about that. Whoops. Hey, listen, it happens, doesn't it? It'll be a worldwide earthquake such as man has never seen. Destruction and death everywhere. I looked at all the scientific data I could find. There's just no reason in the world, no possibility that it will not happen. We're not in a cult or anything like that. This will happen. We are ready to travel 18 hours, leave our jobs, whatever it does. We know. Yeah, I guess you do. Wow. Nothing happened. So you got to go back in Monday morning and go, hey boss, can I get a word? Yeah, yeah. What's going on? I know I quit Friday, but can I? We just hired someone.

9:21We just hired somebody. You know, you put in your resignation and we thought we were just going to find a big pile of laundry where you stood. But it turns out you're still... So can I start like somewhere lower on the food chain? Yeah, we put you in the mail room, but we even filled that position. So I tell you what, what we'll do, we'll keep your application on file. And if anything opens up, we'll give you... I know you've been here 25 years, but I tell you what, if anything opens up, we'll give you a call. Yeah, thanks. 570-194-9 is our number. M1 Paparazzi is on the line. Good Monday morning. Good morning. Thank God the apocalypse didn't happen. That's right. I got a question for you guys. Yeah? What is your thoughts on people making Facebook profiles for their, you know, one-year-old kid and then inviting all their friends to it? It just depends on how clever the person is. I did one for Luke, and I was okay with it because I was clever. Yeah, it was a bit that we did on the show. Yeah, it was a bit. But I could see, listen, I can see how a lot of people would find it annoying. There may have been people that thought that mine was annoying. And to those people, you just got to say feast, because it's up to the individual. And it's your own personal feeling on it. You like him or not like him.

10:43They're old friends of mine I've known for a long time. I'm just like, come on, really was that? Yeah. Pictures on your profile. You don't need to add, you know, you don't need to have a friend of a little one-year-old. Yeah, agreed. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with looking at, you know, if I want to see Sagey, I go to your page, Sienna, and I look at your daughter Sage. Yeah. But I don't want to go to Sage Farrar's Facebook page. Maybe I'll make one to that. That's weird. Well, I like them. Here's the deal. I like them when they're funny, not cute. Yes. I like them when they're funny, not cute. Cute, you know, that's just not my thing. You know, it might be somebody's thing, though. There might be a girl that really likes cute. Yeah. The whole reason I'm like on Facebook is to look at pictures of babies. That's true. I love to do it. It could be. So anyway, the world didn't end. The world wasn't supposed to end. And anybody that tells you that they know when the world is going to end is a coop job. Yep. So just know that. Never just cry wolf. Never just cry wolf. Just over and over and over. Over and over and over. So Schwarzenegger, Sienna, is going to be paying out a little bit of dough during this divorce. Well, it turns out that he and Maria Shriver are worth about $400 million. Oh, wow. Yes.

11:57Terminator money. And I'm reading that they did have a prenup. However, it is believed that because of his infidelity and out of wedlock son means that there could be a chance to that the prenup is thrown out because of how extreme his case is. Yeah. And I don't know. I mean, depending on your lawyer, which they both have pretty good ones, I'm sure. Yeah. It could go 50-50 to split, which would mean Maria gets 200 million dollars. 200 million bucks. Yeah. Man, that's a lot of dough. At that point, who cares? What do you mean? When you have that much, yeah. Yeah, when you've got that much money, what are you going to do with the extra $200? A lot of people care, dude. That's a lot of dough. No, I would not. Jay, you wouldn't give me $10 right now if I needed it. Imagine giving me $200 million. Yeah, but you know what? I haven't built a life with you. Here's the thing. Haven't you? I think, you know why I think they do it? You know why I think of the money and even when it's that big or when it's that big, the reason that they do it, I think it's just to put the... put the dagger in. Oh, yeah. There's no question. Because I actually agree with Jay in that when it gets to be that high of money, you've bought what you're going to buy. Really? Yes, dude. It's not like Tom Cruise is sitting around going, you know what? I really...

13:16Gosh, if I just had the dough, I'd buy a Ferrari. I don't have the dough. You know, I'd have a Ferrari. Now, if I sue her or if she let's take it the reverse, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes. It's not like Katie Holmes is going, you know what? I really wish that I could buy 80 pairs of designer shoes. I don't have that kind of dough because that would cost $10,000. I don't have that. Or like Katie Holmes says, I wish that I had an extra home in Malibu. They can have the extra home in Malibu. Sure. That afternoon. Yeah, it's just about trying to poke somebody. It's a lot of dough, my friend. It is. It is. 570-1949 is the number. You can give us a call right now and talk about whatever you want. Anything you want. Here's another question from M1 Oscar from IB. Go ahead, Oscar. Yeah, I just wanted to comment about people making profiles for Facebook for their one-year-old. Right. My mother-in-law made a Facebook profile for her dog. Where do you guys stand on Facebook profiles for an animal? Woods, what do you think about that? I'm all right with that. Oh, wow. Sienna? You know I'm okay with that. L-O-B? Stupid. Jay? Stupid. Why are you okay with it, Woods? I like dogs. So you're telling me a cute profile or a cute Facebook profile for a child. Yeah. Is that...

14:47Kind of lame? Yeah, way lame. But for a dog, no problem. Good to go. Good to go. Gotcha. There it is, ladies and gentlemen. Set in stone. Guy likes his dogs. It's a joke that works for about a week. And we get the ruff ruff. And even the guy that does it gets real, real tired of maintaining it. Of course. Of course. So the lead suspect in the beating. of that San Francisco Giants fan at the Dodger game has been arrested. Yes. Acting on a tip from a parole officer, police arrested 31-year-old Giovanni Ramirez of Los Angeles for assault with a deadly weapon. They're holding him on $1 million bail. And they're hoping, now that they have him, that he will give up the other two suspects that were involved in the beating. I wonder if it was because of those billboards that were put up. It's got to be, man. It's got to be. You know, the Dodgers... The Dodgers gave $100,000 earlier this week towards the reward. So the reward is getting bigger. There's all kinds of advertising around looking for these suspects. It's really, really great that they got this guy. And I reported last week that he has opened his eyes, but he's still in critical condition. So, man, you just hope he pulls out of this thing. Let's see. It's such a terrible story. It really was. L.O.B. is correct.

16:15The first day of summer is going to be June 21st. There you go. And so I guess it's okay for it to still be cold out and I won't hold any resentment towards the city of San Diego. June 21st, though. I will say this. If it is not warm by June 21st, then I'm going to ask for my money back. Ditto. Or just move to like Santee. I won't go that far. I won't go that far. But I will. demand my money back from the city of San Diego State. This is not what it's supposed to be about. I don't know who you think you're kidding. Randy Macho Man Savage passing away. Yeah, it happened at the end of the show on Friday, so we mentioned it briefly, but more details have come out. He died in a car crash on Friday in Florida. The Florida Highway Patrol said that he lost control of his Jeep Wrangler. It veered over the raised car. concrete median divider, crossed over the eastbound lanes and crashed head on into a tree. Now, the report said that he may have suffered a medical event before the accident, which is they're saying is most likely a heart attack. They're still doing all the tests and stuff. His wife was also in the car, but suffered just minor injury. She's OK. Wow. But yeah, he passed away at the age of 58. I think a lot of this has to do with steroids. Could be. And it affects these guys hearts, you know.

17:36It has a bad effect on their heart. Don't know if that was the deal with Macho Man, but you got to think that a lot of those guys from that era, that's what they were doing. Huge player back then. Oh, yeah. Still doing roids. Here's a promo of Macho Man. I only pin you with the one, two, three count. But I'm going to put you out of wrestling for good. Oh, yeah, Drake. I am the lord and master of the ring. And you're going to find that out. One athlete to another right now. You can. Oh, history beckons the macho man. Yeah. There you go. Talking in first person, the whole thing. Yep. This is the wrestling bit. It's the wrestling bit. And, of course, we remember this. And.

18:35Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Again. Please? Again? Again. Yeah. Snap into a Slim Jim. This is fine. That baby juicy taste. Snap into a Slim Jim. Okay. All right, I will. Yeah, Slim Jim. I'm gonna. You're screaming. You're screaming at me. Calm down. You're shouting at me about a Slim Jim, all right? I don't know. Look at me. You think I haven't snapped in a Slim Jim or two in my day? Yeah. All right. Don't scream at me. Rebecca turned somebody in at Disneyland. See what you guys think about this. What? Went to Disneyland. Okay. And on Friday, she went to Disneyland. She took my son, Jake, who's autistic. Went with her friend who has an autistic kid. They go up there together. She gets there. She realizes there's about 45 school buses. Oh.

19:44What does that mean? It's graduation, you know, Disneyland trips, right? So anyway, she's in line waiting to get Jake his front of the line pass, okay? Because she gets a pass because he's autistic. She gets a pass for him to go to the front of the line. Behind her, she hears a conversation with these kids, four boys. They're discussing, okay, so you're going to be my brother. And, okay, I'm going to say. You can't walk on your leg. Your leg is hurt. And then you say blah, blah, blah. And they're like working out their story, right? Of how they're going to get him front of the line. So Rebecca's thinking about it. She's like, I don't know. Should I just keep my eyes on my own paper? Should I say something? And she says it occurs to her that there are some places that have stopped the front of the line pass. And the reason they stop it is because of abuse. Too many people and they don't know how to discern it. And so Jake legitimately, if he couldn't do the front of the line thing, Disneyland just wouldn't be an option for us. You know, we take him somewhere else. He goes somewhere else. But because of the front of the line pass, he can actually enjoy a place like Disneyland. And so she said, look, I'm not the tattletale type. These kids behind me are going to tell you that they're messed up so that they can get to the front of the line.

21:13And I don't want it because I don't want my kid to be affected by it because of yahoos. And the lady said, thanks. Now, question. Is that right or is that wrong? Keep your eyes on your own paper. Because when she told me the story, the first thing I did was, screw those kids. It's messed up. My kid's got problems. My kid's got legitimate issues. And these two yahoos are... making up some lies so they can get to the front of the line? They're high school kids? They were in high school? Yeah, high school kids. Keep your eyes on your own paper? Let me have my fun? Yes. All right. L.O.B. says yeah? Yeah. At first I thought the same thing, but I was like, you know what? When I was a kid, I did stuff like that too. And let the proper people in charge tell me if I'm right or wrong. Well, here's the deal. A lot of times we do that.

22:15See, when we're trying to discern whether or not something is right or wrong, we ask ourselves, well, have I done it? That doesn't answer the question whether or not something is right or wrong. It answers the question. It does answer this. Do you feel guilty? The answer is yes. It answers that question. But it's not going to be harmful. Yes, it is. Not really. Yes, here's the harm. The harm is that that keeps happening. It's the same concept that we think of when we talk about environmental things. We go, well, listen. If one person doesn't recycle and we all don't. So what if we all didn't recycle? Then what would happen? OK, well, what if all of these kids go up there and lie and get the front of the line pass? That leads to we don't have any more front of the line pass because it's being abused. And so what is the difference? I would say put that, you know, the onus on the Disneyland people to be like. How can we discern when someone actually needs to get to the front of the line or whether or not they're just being a bunch of yahoos? What about with recycling? Why don't we leave it up to each of us to discern whether or not we should recycle? But we don't. We say to each other, well, we should be recycling. And if we didn't think like that, if you didn't think, if everybody thought like you, it would be all messed up. But I keep my eyes on my own paper when it comes to Woods now because I used to try to tell him to recycle. I recycle.

23:38Just point your finger over there. Yeah, I don't recycle. I recycle. Well, everybody puts trash in this recycling bin over here. Yes, that's true. And I just keep my lip zipped, even though it bothers me, because I've learned that I can't tell adults what to do. Yeah. I mean, when we're out clubbing baby seals on the weekend, she doesn't even say anything to us now. You know what I mean? What do we want people to say? Put your club down? Yeah. When I'm burning styrofoam in my backyard, L.O.B. will come over. She'll have a glass of wine. She won't even say anything anymore. No, I just rest easy at night knowing that I'm doing my part to help the planet. When I'm having a beach bonfire with tires, rubber tires, you know, do I really... She's there dancing, singing Kumbaya. Exactly. Well, it wasn't the end of the world as we know. So, uh... I upset a woman outside of Target. Let's see if you've ever upset a woman outside of Target for the same reason. We will find out if you, listening in your car, have ever upset a woman outside of Target for the same reason I did. And a 911 call that's pretty chilling. And all of it's coming up. That's something worth adding to the Mikey Show.

25:04This is what they do. Number one. Text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. If we have any children, please step out. Or call Mikey now. Are you trying to make this sound bad? Because it sounds great. 570-1949. More coming up on FM 94.9. The Ultimate Fighting Championship presents UFC 130. Fresh off a win over Lyoto the Dragon Mashida. Former light heavyweight champion and MMA legend Quentin Rampage Jackson is back to take on the man who smashed Tito Ortiz, Matt the Hammer Hamill. Also, former heavyweight champion Frank Mir prepares for the knockout power of heavy-handed Roy Big Country Nelson. Coming off one of the most phenomenal performances of his career, welterweight contender Tiago Alves will go to war with a relentless Rick horror story. And it's a battle of heavyweight giants as 6'7 undefeated Travis Brown takes on 6'11 powerhouse Stefan Skyscraper Strew. Bud Light presents UFC 130, Rampage vs. Hamill. Live Saturday, May 28th from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Only on pay-per-view. Visit UFC.com for details.

26:10Or using your Cox remote control by tuning to channel 501 or in HD on channel 798 after 5.30 p.m. on Saturday. Enjoy the fight. Independence Jam is sold out and now the only way to get your tickets is to join us at FM 94.9 for a random act of kindness at 710 Beach Club in Pacific Beach on Thursday, June 2nd from 6 to 7 p.m. We're going to have tons of food and drink specials, cool giveaways, and your chance to win free tickets to Independence Jam. It's June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater with Cold War Kids, Leaky Lee, Peter Bjorn and John, Band of Skulls, and a bunch of other good music. So join FM 94.9 at 710 Beach club in pacific beach on thursday june 2nd from 6 to 7 p.m for your chance to win independence jam tickets and don't forget to make 710 beach club your pre-indie jam stop 710 beach club in pacific beach it is your number one spot for summer drink specials like half off your bar tab happy hour that's right

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31:19Badass Coffee of Hawaii featuring 100% Hawaiian Kona coffee, convenient drive-thru and lots of cold drinks for the summer. 9878 Carmel Mountain Road and Rancho Penasquitos. Badass Coffee of Hawaii. Badass Coffee. This report is brought to you by Brandman University. Brandman University, part of the Chapman University system. It's a non-profit school focused on working adults. Visit brandman.edu to learn more. Brandman. Do better. Well, it looks like we've got some delays this morning on the 5 southbound right after Loma Santa Fe Drive. It's an injury accident involving a semi over on the right shoulder. On the 15 northbound Arrow Drive, there's a car stuck. It's at the end of the off-ramp in the right turn lane. And as you approach the 8 eastbound, pretty heavy right now from Jackson Drive to the 67. This report also brought to you by the County of San Diego Vector Control Program. Fight the bite. Protect yourself and loved ones from mosquitoes that transmit that virus. Cover up. Use mosquito repellent. Drain standing water. Call 1-858-694-2888 or you can text PEST275309. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Fried chicken may be my favorite food item. Lauren. You know what? I'm just going to eat bad today. Let's get Burger King. Woods. It's the only thing I'm good about is washing my dishes, putting them in the dishwasher. Now, I don't know how to run our dishwasher. I've never.

32:44Never once turned it on. Sienna. I feel great because I love to go on walks and I hate to run. And Jay. I like mayonnaise and crackers. On FM 94.9. Have you ever done this to upset somebody outside of Target? I'll tell you what it is in just a second. I want to let you know that our guy Jared owns CreateYourDesignOnline.com. And you got to come out. I felt so good. Now, if you are looking for website design, you can go to createyourdesignonline.com. Let's say that you want to get a poster done. Maybe you want to get a business card, something like that. Check out Jared. createyourdesignonline.com

34:06And I love the way you talk. So I mentioned that we went to Target this weekend. All right. And we're walking out of Target. And as I walk out, there's a woman standing there and she's got a clipboard. All right. And she says to me, she says, hi, would you like to sign a petition for fair marriage? And I said, huh? Because I didn't know what she did. I said, huh? It was the phrasing, the phrasing of it. I didn't understand. Honestly, when she first said it, I didn't understand the phrasing. I go, what is that? What is that? Gay marriage? She goes, yeah. I go, uh-uh. And she was very angry. She was angry. She was upset. And she gave me this look like I just said that I was for the beating of children. How did you answer? Just like you said? Yeah, I go, well, I didn't know what she was talking about. Right. Because the way she phrased it, she goes, would you sign a petition for fair marriage? And I go, what? Because at first when she said it, I had no idea what she said. What? And she goes, would you like to sign a petition for fair marriage? And I go, is that gay marriage? And she goes, yeah. And I go, uh-uh. And the thing is, the thing is, is that why don't you just say, would you like to sign a petition for gay marriage? Right. Why didn't you just say no thank you? Well, you put it in a way. You put it in a way. I'll tell you why. Because I was irritated. Yeah.

35:33I was irritated that she was trying to use trickery. She's trying to throw a curveball by you. She's throwing a curveball. I agree with that. She thinks that's fair. Well, fine. But if you think, L.O.B., for a second, that she was trying to, that she didn't think out the phrasing of it that way on purpose, of course she did. Maybe she's trying to change people's way of thinking. I've never heard that phrase. Fair marriage. Fair marriage. You just said gay marriage. Gay marriage. Yeah, but I think she's thinking bigger picture, that it's just fair. Well, of course. Yeah. She does. She doesn't think she's going to trick you because obviously you're going to ask a question. So I think she's posing it to you in a way that's going to make you respond. Putting it in your head that that's what she believes is fair. Right. But she's now imposing her ideas of fair on me. Right. Well, yeah, that's what they're doing. Yeah, it's not fair. But everyone with a clipboard's doing. Yeah, anybody with a clipboard, that's what they're doing. But then... She took it steps further. She gave me the look. Of course she did. And I thought, she's out there fighting a good fight. Hey, lady, you asked me a question. I answered it. Don't get mad at the answer. I get the look all the time, Mike. You do? It doesn't matter what.

36:48I don't think that you should be outside of Target or the grocery store where someone's just trying to do their shopping and try to impose, like, okay, now I've got to think about what I believe is right and not right. Yeah. I mean, be at a place where it's fitting. Well, imagine this, LLB. Imagine you go outside of the grocery store and imagine if the Salvation Army person said, would you like to be a good person? It's a good point. Which implies? Which implies? Same thing even at the register, though. They try to get your money. Which implies that if I don't give the money to the Salvation Army, I'm not a good person? I see what you're saying. Would you like to sign a petition for fair marriage? Which implies that if I don't agree with gay marriage, I don't think it's fair? I don't think it's equal, but I do think it's fair. I think she's working. At changing people's minds. Beyond getting the petition signed, she is working to get in. She wants to have a conversation with you. She's trying to get you to think outside the box. Let me ask you a question, Jay. Okay. If the person from Salvation Army says, would you like to give to children and be a good person? Which means that if you don't. Right. They basically are. That you're a bad person. They never have said that to me. Do you want to make a donation? Yeah. They say, would you like to make a donation? And you go, no. What is that?

38:15It's the same thing. Well, listen, if the lady had said, would you like to sign a petition? Would have given me the opportunity to say, for what? At which point I would want her to say, for gay marriage. Now, what if the Salvation Army person said, would you like to donate and better the world for children? It's kind of the same thing as saying fair marriage. It isn't. But the person's not saying. Because it is, if you're giving money and you're giving it to kids, aren't you bettering the world? But if you imply something else, which is that you're a bad person. By putting the stipulation, would you like to be a good person? Well, wait a minute. I'm a good person even if I don't give to that. But if the fair marriage person says, would you like to do the right thing and sign for fair marriage? That's the extra step, I think. Well, I think by calling it fair, in my view, that was the... And then I heard this lady after me, I got the look, and this lady after me, the lady goes, would you like to sign a petition for fair marriage? You know what the lady said? She goes, what's that? She didn't know what either. It's working. What? It's working. She goes, what's that? And she goes, it's gay marriage. And the lady goes, oh, no. And she was irritated because of the approach. Right. And she goes, I'm for civil unions, but I'm not for gay marriage. And so it was like, why don't you just say what you're doing, lady? Dude, you have to use my method. And when you walk out of Target, get on your cell phone. And you don't have to lie and pretend you're on a fake call. But do a text. Text me.

39:43Yeah. You say leaving Target. This is the Target cell phone bit. So they'll leave you alone. Yeah. I don't look at them. Hey, how you doing, babe? I'm good. I'm about to walk into Target. Phone up to my ear. Hey, how you doing, pal? Sorry, I'll get with you later. M1 Chris from Coronado. Screw up. M1 Chris from Coronado? Yeah, hey, sorry about that. Hi. So I'm listening more to what you're saying. My opinion's changed a little bit. Originally, it seemed like you almost are letting your ego kind of get in the way. of you doing something good. I mean, in a way, the syntax is so important as to the person's cause. Because I didn't understand what she was talking about? Like you said, you're not opposed to signing the petition, it sounds like. You're opposed that she was trying to trick you. No, I was opposed to both. He's opposed to signing the petition as well. I'm opposed to signing the petition, of course. But I'm also...

40:41opposed to the way that she went about it instead of just saying, hey, would you like to sign a petition for gay marriage? If that was the deal, I'd just go, yeah, sure. Or no. I'm not, no. I don't agree with that. How she approached you with it, it would still have been a no answer. Oh, yeah, it would have been a no answer, but I wouldn't have been as irritated that I felt that there was shenanigans going on. I think you have to be kind of, and I don't mean this in a bad way, so I'm not like, don't take it the wrong way, but I think you have to have kind of a little bit of an ego to think that she was actually trying to trick you, though. Well, she didn't just trick me. She tricked the lady behind me, too. Yeah. Because the lady behind me didn't know what she was talking about, either. It wasn't what the lady said, though. You know, I'm for civil unions, but not for a fair marriage. Yeah, it had to be explained to her, though. Same with me. We both were confused. When she said, would you like to sign a petition for fair marriage? We were like, what is that? I didn't know what that, like, what does that mean? I thought marriage was already fair. See, for me, that's clearly someone just trying to get me to stop and take 30 seconds out of my time to ask another question. to figure out what she was talking about. Not so much, you know, here's my rabbit out of the hat, gotcha, kind of thing. I mean, she would have to be really stupid to think that's an actual trick that would work. Well, it did work, Chris. And maybe I'm the dumb one, but it did work. It worked to stop you. Yeah, it worked to stop me. It worked to stop me. And that's the other thing. It's like, you know, come on, man. I got a couple of twins here that are, they need some crackers.

42:03They're going to flip out any second. If they don't get these crackers in 20 seconds, you're not going to like it. And by the way, it was marriage that got those little kids here with these crackers they got to eat. They got to eat them right now. They're about to flip out, lady. I got to figure out your equation. I got to break my abacus out to figure your question out. Meanwhile, my kids just want crackers and get out of Target. So it's Girl Scouts selling cookies. Now all of a sudden you're in. Ouch. Or a kid selling candy bars. Mike, imagine if it were somebody that was giving away Sundays. Or burritos. Burritos. Mobile McDonald's. Then you wouldn't have a problem, would you? He could put it as confusing as possible. He'd be like, hamburger you want? And you'd be like, wait a minute. I smell something. I don't know what's going on, but let's talk. I don't know. I agree with L.O.B. I don't think you should be out there in front of that. I mean, all right. This is a little extreme. Imagine.

43:13You are standing on the clipboard. Hey, how you doing? Would you like to sign up to take Jesus Christ as your personal savior? I mean, people would lose their mind. Sure. They would lose their mind. You know what I would say? I wouldn't do that because for the same reason. Sign this petition. Yeah, and you'd be irritated probably, Jay. Jay, you would lose your mind. Please, you'd be irritated. You'd be irritated. I know and walk away. And then you get the guilt trip. What if you got the guilt trip, though? It doesn't bother me. It bothers me. It bothers most people. Would you like to sign a petition that says it's like, what if I go like this? Would you like to sign a petition that says that the Soledad cross is fair? No, thank you. But you don't know what I'm talking about. It doesn't matter because I'm not interested. Some things, hey, maybe she says something I'm into. It wasn't just that I was blanketly not into whatever she was saying. I am blanketly not into what they're saying because I'm in a hurry. It counts money. Let me ask you a question. Is it free? Is it soap? Come on. Do you have any samples? Is there a sample I can take off? Does this involve a free sample or me getting to stay in some place in Hawaii? They have five seconds to get my attention, and if they don't, I just walk away. I find it a giant imposition. Of course. It's not the forum. Where would it be? Like a street fair? Have a little tent where I'm like, oh, I'm seeking you out. Yeah, I see what you got.

44:37I'll walk up to you if I want to. You have to learn to just say no because it's everywhere. When you're checking out at the grocery store, do you want to give money to people with disabilities? Are you going to every time? I mean, there's a jar there to put your pennies in. I mean, you have to learn to say no. Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. And who cares about their look? They get me every time. Hey, want to give a dollar for muscular dystrophy? Absolutely. I want to give a dollar. I'm not cheap. Give five every single time. I'm one Paul from Carlsbad. Hey, good morning. How are you guys? Good. So I want to back up a step because when I originally called, I mean, you guys have kind of moved on a little bit, but when I originally called you, it just said, oh, the lady gave me a really sour look when I said, like, no, you know, like you were talking about. And I was calling to say that that's kind of your, not your fault in a negative way, but my wife, well, she doesn't have an edit button on her face. So if something is said.

45:36That she doesn't agree with her, she doesn't like, whatever. She automatically gets this really sour look on her face and people get turned off by it right away. And I'll go to her, I'll go, babe, do you know what, do you know how you're looking at that person right now? And she's like, no. What are you talking about? I go, you've got the crampiest look on your face right now. You know what I mean? Like, even before she said anything or even before she did anything, it's like her face was, you know, the eyes, the window, her whole face. Yeah, see, Paul, I kind of think we do have control. I think we can edit our face. Well, I had the look on my face way before I knew what it was. Like I said, when she gave me this math equation, I was like, huh? I mean, she might as well have said to me, I might as well have walked out and she might as well have gone, what's three minus four take away the one? I'd be like, what? What are you talking about? She gave me an equation. I didn't get it. She's giving me puzzles. Don't puzzle me. I'm on the defense whenever anyone comes up to me. Oh, yeah. I puzzled you. I puzzled you. All right. So this is a little, this is going to get you.

47:00So I'm telling you, before we play it, this is a 911 call. Woman in Georgia has a home intruder. Oh, boy. Okay? And this dude had bad things in mind. And before you hear it, I want you to know you're about to hear a 911 call. So your heart's going to beat. Okay? She's fine. He's not. Calm down. I need you to tell me, what did you see? Okay. Okay, listen. Okay, listen.

48:08Holy cow, dude. Yeah, the dude in question is no longer with us. That's too bad. It's too bad. Huh? His name. Was Israel Perez Puentes. He was 34. From Alpharetta, Georgia. And she shot him. Good for her. With a .22, yeah. Good for her. Shot him with a .22. And he is no longer with us. You talk about the wherewithal, right? Yeah. He had the wherewithal. Savvy. Enjoy that dirt nap. That's right. She took care of business. Good Lord. I took my .22. I shot him as many times as I could. I wasn't expecting that. Nor was I. Wow.

49:19Yeah, she shot him as many times as she could. Be a weird, creepy pervert. Yeah, maybe don't be going in people's houses you don't belong in. Wasn't 100% sure, but was, you know, crossed my mind. Saturday morning, I call mom and dad. We're going to go over. We're going to hang out. Okay. We're going to bring the kids. Nobody answers the phone. So I call the cell phone. Nobody answers the phone. Oh, no. I hope they're okay. Raptured. Go over there. And I look in the window. The lights are on. I'm like, what the heck is going on? Crossed my mind. Are they raptured? This can't be. You're like, what the hell am I doing here? This is ridiculous. What am I thinking? Why am I thinking this? You look up to the heavens. Dude, hello. What about me? What about me? I'm like, oh, no. Rebecca, what did we do? It did cross your mind. Yeah, and then I said to myself, what am I, crazy? Am I losing it?

50:20So I go in the house. I had to jump the back fence. Oh, I'd like to have seen that. What do you mean what? Woods, what do you mean what? You jumped the fence? Did you knock on the door? Yes. I rang the doorbell a million times. We've been calling a million times. Nobody answering. You're my mom and dad. I'm kicking the door down, pal. Almost did. So I went through the back, found a way into the house, walk into the... to my mom and dad's bedroom. Bed is made. My mom's pants and shirt are laying there. I go, did they get raptured? In my head, I'm like, come on, what's going on around here? They went to a graduation. They went to a friend's graduation. You know, my cousin. Didn't know. He graduated. And they went. They left at 6.30 in the morning. Didn't tell anybody. Did you yell at them?

51:21No, but I said, I thought you got raptured. It's hysterical. Oh, God. And I said to myself, what does the matter with me? Am I crazy? I lost it? You could have walked in on something very inappropriate. Well, I rang that. I thought you were going to say that. I was like, what was he doing? Hey, listen, it ain't going to be, I mean, I've been calling, calling, doorbell ringing. You know, the whole thing. I know when I'm making love to Kim, you could be, you could drive a truck through the house. I wouldn't hear it. Yeah. For hours. For hours and hours and hours. Plus it goes on for hours and hours. Sometimes days. One time a cannonball shot through our living room. We didn't even hear it. That's right. We were in the throes of passion, Mike. One time the USC marching band came through. Didn't disturb us. Didn't even know. Not one bit. They left me a message, said, hi, this is the USC marching band. Just want you to know we stopped by, but you all were busy. Yesterday, Sienna and her husband, Todd, decided that they were going to play a little catch in their backyard, you know, football. And Sienna says she didn't have any idea why they decided that they were going to start doing this, but it was really a lot of fun.

52:39Sienna said that her husband didn't say this, but she's pretty sure that he was impressed by her spiral. Easy, Uncle Rico. Can't see John Elway over there. Exactly. It's impressive. She said they were even doing some running passes. Oh, wow. Oh, I'd like to see that. Sienna Farrar. She's got all the mechanics down. You can see right here in this film, she's got the mechanics down. Great poise in the pocket. Now, you'll see here. Once she moves out of the pocket, the line starts to close. You'll see the A gap here. Sienna reads the A gap, moves out of the way, knows it's a zone defense, and throws over the head of the linebacker in stride. Perfect form. If you look here on this flea flicker, she actually flips back to her husband Todd. He hits her square between the breasts.

53:36The ball stays lodged there. Her hands are at her side. That's right. For the first down. All right. Now, here's another play against Todd. Now, you can see here she's got a little bit to deal with up top. However, she's still able to scramble, which is really amazing considering what's going on. Up top. I like her tight end. Holy cow. Oh, wow. I like her double B pants. Hey, Sienna, were you wearing a mouthpiece? Oh, no. Do you need support? Todd did comment every single time I ran to catch the ball. Put on hold, creep. Don't talk about Todd that way. You're a husband, okay? Let's see. Woodsy, we got a text, and I am 100% sure that you're going to be with me on this. What is wrong with a man getting his mail in his boxers? He shouldn't do that, right? What are you, crazy? Of course he should. You think he should? I do it five days a week. What are you, a demented pervert? What's going on over there? Come on. 570-1949. Should you take the garbage out?

55:10Yes. In the front of your house in boxing. Yes. 570-1949. Good Lord. The best. That's right. It's the best. You think you got something worth adding? Are you going to be careful here with what you say? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. What is it? The Vatican? Or text them at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got people too, baby. Coming up on FM 94.9. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Performs the two. It's on time. Peter Peor and Joe Skulls. I wanna see you in the mind. Blood, the soft pack, heavy Hawaii, and electricity are sold out. Keep

56:38listening to fm 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets fm 94.9 independence jam coastal invasion presented by triple hops brood miller light taste greatness independence jam is also supported by grubbies and los tacos see you on sunday june 5th in oceanside fox monday two of the most powerful hours on television come to a shocking conclusion for First on the season finale of House, a controversial performance artist. You don't know which of my symptoms are real, which are fake. This is a puzzle made for you. Now you're just pissing me off. And a shattered relationship. House popped. You want to know how I feel? Send House spinning so out of control. There's no turning back. If Greg House steps foot in my hospital again. I want him thrown in jail. Then, the entire season of the Chicago Code. I had a wide tap surveillance photos of him doing business with known organized crime figures. I will fight this and I will fight you. Has come down. Did you kill my brother? To one stunning final hour. Jared, put the gun down. What are you doing? What? That will leave you breathless. Call every available sheriff now. It's the Chicago Code season finale event after the season finale of House.

57:51It all starts at 8 on Fox 5. Then stay tuned for the Fox 5 News at 10. It all starts tonight at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. We're back, and the folks at McDonald's drop by the studio. With the new jalapeno cheddar McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and the new cheddar onion McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and from the looks of these beauties, $1.49 is a real deal. I see your jalapeno cheddar McChicken has melted white cheddar, and is that hot jalapeno salsa? Oh, wow, spicy. I did not see that coming, McDonald's. Oh, and the grilled onions on this cheddar onion McChicken are incredible big cheesy taste. Hey, switch with me. I like a take-charge man. I like a lady who's... Cut to commercial. McDonald's new spicy jalapeno cheddar McChicken and savory cheddar onion McChicken. The simple joy of cheesy deliciousness with spicy jalapeno salsa or grilled onions. Just $1.49 each. That was so tasty. You got a little cheese on here. That's not cheese. It's an onion. Price and participation may vary. Try McDonald's new frozen strawberry lemonade from McCafe. Tangy frozen lemons with a sweet strawberry swirl is a refreshing icy treat. New frozen strawberry lemonade starting at just $1.69 now at McDonald's. Hey, Rhino here.

58:59Welcome to my habitat at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Oh, look at that zebra. You ever just, like, stare at one? Mesmerizing. Oh, there goes some humans on that flight line. Your species is crazy. Ziplining over the entire savanna, buzzing my head like a condor. Oh, man. I wish you could see this. Mama gorilla carrying a baby like a backpack. Dang, girl, he ate school supplies. Oh, check it out. Humans on a caravan safari. Hey, get a picture of my horn. You guys get any closer, we're going to have to exchange vows. Or just feed me some apples. I'm cool either way. I'm a rhinoceros. Animals are at home at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Come explore their habitat on our flight line, caravan, or a variety of other safari adventures. To choose your safari, visit SanDiegoZooSafariPark.org. And experience the sights and sounds of an African festival during African Extravaganza, July 2nd through August 21st. Only at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Time is precious. Not the one day the baby's bored and the next day they're asking to borrow the car kind of precious, but the precious few days to get an amazing deal on a new Honda. Because the nine-day sale is now on at your Honda dealers of San Diego County. From May 22nd until May 30th, all nine Honda dealers are marking down their inventory. They're starting with a nice selection of some of the most popular cars in San Diego, like the Accord, the 2012 Civic,

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1:01:36Free auto circle participation. Products may have cost, availability, and membership eligibility restrictions. Some products provided by third parties. Insurance provided by United Services Automobile Association and its insurance affiliates. Insurance not a bank deposit issued, guaranteed, or underwritten or FDIC or government insured. Loans by USAA Federal Savings Bank member FDIC, San Antonio, Texas. Cue a grill. Cue the open enthusiastic chef with the lighter fluid. Cue the steaks, breasts, thighs. Cue the amigos bearing generous libations. Cue the fumbled bottle of Jose Cuervo. Cue the crowd's gasp. Cue the slow-motion dive. Cue the catch. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Hugh Blind Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the trademark owner. Hi folks, Shell experts here. Hi folks, Shell experts here. My colleague is speaking double to share some great news from Shell and Ralph's. When you fuel up at Shell, take your receipt to Ralph's and get double rewards points when using your Ralph's Rewards Card. And double rewards points means faster earnings. Yep. Let me repeat that for emphasis. No, no, no, no. We got it. Okay. Your Shell fuel receipt earns you double rewards points at Ralph's. Well, all right then. Well, all right then.

1:02:46Fuel earnings are limited to up to 35 gallons per purchase. Offer valid through August 31, 2011 at participating Shell Stations. See stores for details or go to www.ralphs.com slash fuelpromotion. Los Tacos is proud to be a sponsor for this year's Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. At the concert tour in North County, Los Tacos is the place to enjoy Mexican food with the freshest ingredients. Just one bite and you'll be hooked. Olympic premium interior paint smells like almost nothing. And it costs next to nothing. Low odor at a low price. Another reason to insist on Olympic. Learn more at InsistOnOlympic.com. This report, it's brought to you by Subway Restaurant. Subway's proud to introduce Fit to Fight Hunger, helping local families in need. For information on the program, how you can get involved, please visit... fittofighthunger.org. Well, we do have a signal alert here on the 5 southbound Loma Santa Fe Drive. That right lane's closed by emergency crews. It was an accident with a semi. Also, the 52 eastbound, pretty heavy from Kearney Villa Road to Mass Boulevard. You'll find delays as you come from La Mesa to El Cajon. On the 8 eastbound, pretty heavy right now from Jackson Drive to the 67.

1:03:50This report brought to you by Caltrans and Highway Work Zones. You've got two choices, slow down or pay up. Fines are now up to $1,000 or more. Plus, you get those points on your driving record. Slow for the Cone Zone. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I can back up like nobody's business into spots. What I can't do is parallel bark. Lauren. I just don't like the way beef tastes at all. Woods. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. Ziena. I have the fastest wiener dog on the planet. And Jake. I love that sappy move. On FM 94.9. All right, so we need you to let us know if we're right or wrong on this. Is it all right to take your trash out to the front of your house in boxers? Is that all right? Sienna, what's going on in the news? A couple sad stories, unfortunately. If you haven't heard about the huge tornado that slammed into Joplin, Missouri yesterday. It's a city of about 50,000 people, and the latest updated number of deaths is 89. It looked like a direct hit on the hospital at St. John's Regional Medical Center. They only had a few minutes notice to get all their patients together and get them out of the hospital before the tornado hit. They were quickly evacuated.

1:05:14Just a really sad story. There's footage all over the news, and it's just heartbreaking. Also, another sad one. The singer who composed You Light Up My Life, Joseph Brooks, died over the weekend, 73 years old. He was facing charges on 11 alleged rapes and sex assaults. That's this song, by the way. Big player when I was a kid. Oh, yeah. Wow. He sure is. Ella B is getting it. Ella B is lip syncing it. And she's putting every single thing she has into this lip sync performance. It is. It holds power. I mean, yes, that is it. She is Debbie Boone right now. Well, he won an Oscar for this song. And yesterday he was found dead on a couch in his Manhattan home by a friend. He was supposed to have lunch with his friend who came in.

1:06:15Found him. Do you want to know how it was found? It's pretty sad. Wasn't it like he did a... There was a plastic dry cleaning bag and a towel wrapped around his head and there was a tube connected to a helium tank attached. There was a suicide note that was found nearby. And he was a creep, from what I understand. I mean, he was going up on charges of... Yeah, rapes and sex assaults. Yeah, yeah. Just insane. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Sports today is brought to us by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some! Get some! Absolutely. Well, it was not the greatest weekend in the world. Here in San Diego for the Padres. They dropped three in a row to the Seattle Mariners. You actually went to the game Friday night, Miguel. What did you glean from the team? Well, I gleaned that I got to see my first loss. The Padres in person this season, which was really great. Just super fun to go out there and just hope to see Heath Bell throw. Just shut out real good. Yeah, and I did. But on the positive side, I got to see Ichiro hit, which is, you know.

1:07:14That's something I've never seen in person. And he is one of the greatest ever to hold a bat. Yeah. In that regard. He's phenomenal. Well, so they are not playing well at home. They are 8-18 at home. They are batting .203 at home. They're batting .265 on the road. Bud Black called a meeting and said, all right, this stops and it stops now. And so we'll see how they respond. Oh, man. And then also. Last night in the Eastern Conference semifinals, Chris Bosh had 34 points. The Miami Heat beat the Bulls 96-85. So they are leading 2-1 in the Eastern Conference Finals. There it is. Beast. Let me tell you what. These guys are sharp dressers after the games and the press conferences. Oh, the NBA players? Yeah. Especially the Heat. When you look up there and you see LeBron, D-Wade. Yeah. God, he looked good. He looked sharp. Oh, wow. LLB. 570-1949 is our number. I'm Mikey. Guy across from me is Woodsy. L.O.B. is the pretty blonde. Sienna's the pretty Auburn. Jay is the pretty salt and pepper. And our phone screener today is Alan. It's Alan. It's Alan. So this text message says, what's wrong with a guy getting his mail in his boxers? My neighbor said I was being inappropriate. M1 Oside. Have you seen my wiener? Did they say M1 Birmingham?

1:08:44No. Right? Every day. Every day of my life. Yeah. Literally every day of my life. You take the garbage out every day in your boxes? My routine when I get home from work is nap, get up, go get the mail, in said underwear. With shirt? No shirt. Would it kill you to put a shirt on? No shirt? No shirt. Okay, that's way worse. Why? It's one. Okay, here are the three hideous things about it. A, it's in the middle of the day. Besides my body. A, it's in the middle of the day. Okay. B, you're in your boxers. And C, you have no shirt on. Correct. Just glaciers, white upper thighs gleaming. Doesn't bother me at all. Yeah, it's no big deal. Not at all. I've seen it. My neighbor does it. Hey, pal. Oh. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. We all go to the beach. We all wear shorts that are a little bit longer. Do we all go to the beach wearing boxers?

1:09:43No, no. Do we? But we wear shorts. I know, but they're not underwear. I'm not going out there in man panties or tight whites, pal. I'm going out in boxers. They're shorts. It's the same thing. No, they're shorter. They're smaller. They're a little bit shorter. There's openings. But all the boxers I have have a button. My wiener's not going anywhere. Trust me. It's not going to come out. Stuff. And I'm not talking anatomy. Okay. Other things can poke through those boxers. And that's hideous. What? Especially if you're Jay, because they're white. Your boys? No. Oh. You get it? I get it, but... You understand? Not anatomy. Like what's on your head? Yes. I got no issues there, pal, if you know what I mean. Read between the lines there. Creep. Manscaper. Yeah. Yeah, there's no big deal. It's no big deal. It's no big deal. Not bothered. You can see that when I'm wearing my trunks. Are you a porno actor, Woods? I mean, yes. You are. Yeah, you're a porno actor. I go out in my boxers, and I get the mail, and I take the trash cans down. Well, sometimes, usually my wife does it, but when I do it, I'm usually in my boxer shorts. M1 Mike from Pendleton. Good morning. Good morning. So my deal is, what's the difference between, like Woods was saying, between the swim shorts? There's 300-pound guys wearing Speedos at the beach. Is that appropriate? Jay, I do not weigh.

1:11:13$300. You do wear Speedos. I do not wear Speedos. Tommy Bahama Speedos. Big TB on the butt. Flying flowers. The difference between Speedo and boxers is that one is a bathing suit, albeit hideous, and one is underwear. Let me ask you this. Why? And I don't want to hear about girls. We're talking about guys here. Why do guys not walk into Vons in their boxers? Why? It's a public place. It's public. So it's a street. No. No, you're on your land. It's your property. I'm on my land. You don't own that property. You're on your land. I rent that property. I rent it. I don't rent this street. If you did, no one would say a word. Yeah. Yes, they would, Jay. If you walked into the grocery store with boxers on. You can't tell the difference. I see people walking around in pajamas. Yeah. Different. Same thing. It's still got a cut in the front. So. It's not. Trust me. I know. Listen. If a guy walked into Vons wearing pajama bottoms with that slit.

1:12:34No one would say a word. Nobody would say a word. I've done it. I would. I would think they're a creep. What would I say to them? Would you actually walk up to them and go, excuse me, sir? No, but you're rolling the dice with the cops. Mike, can I tell you something that will blow your mind? What? Where you live, your mailbox, you have to walk to it. My old house, same thing. I had to walk across the street and down the street with the key to the big, big mailbox. You have the same thing, right? Yeah. Yeah, I used to do it there. I used to walk all the way across. Happy birthday. What? You're subjecting everybody. No, you're not in shorts. You're in underwear. They're called boxer shorts. Your thing. Briefs. Yes. They're not briefs. Your think get loose. It's not going to get loose. How come? I have thing control. Okay. Still. Thing control. Okay, I'll give you that. You got thing control. Patent pending. Jay Isbell Corporation. That's right. I'm working on something called thing control. Yeah. Hello, I'm Jay Isbell for thing control. All right, I'll grant you that. Okay, thank you. But the bottom line is you're still walking outside in your boxes. Now, is it, this isn't a question of like, I'm not bringing up like morals. It's nothing about that.

1:13:54It's laziness, pal. It's just freaking pants on. I don't want to. I like that you're comfortable. Yeah, I walk right out and just... Dude, I got home from my games yesterday, stripped butt naked in my backyard and jumped in the hot tub. Butt naked, middle of the day, 4 o'clock. It's your backyard, bro. People aren't driving by your backyard. I'm in my front yard in shorts. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. When you had to go door to door and tell your neighbors that you moved to the neighborhood, did you go in your boxer shorts? I didn't have to do that. Or did you actually put some clothes on? I'm not a sex offender. I did not do that. Just because I'm in boxer shorts? Yeah. It's disgusting. You're crazy. It's not disgusting. You guys are too hung up. Grow up. Not hung up. Grow up. It's about appropriateness. I have a European lifestyle. It's freaking WT. Says the girl who cleans her apartment in her apartment. In her apartment. Inside her house. In my apartment. With the blinds open. Not with the blinds open. But girls go running all the time in just a sports bra. Yeah. It's a big deal. That's even less clothes. Sienna, I think that's weird, too. I didn't know that. I got no problem with that. Yeah. I guarantee no guy has a problem with that. That material is a lot thicker than boxers. You can see through. I don't wear briefs. They're not briefs. They're shorts. Yeah. They're the thinnest possible material that you can have on. Yeah. M1... They're not silk. M1 Gabriella's calling in. I guess I said the word of the day. I didn't even know it.

1:15:14M1 Gabriella from Poway. Good morning, everybody. What was the word of the day? Salt. Jay's hair. Oh, you got yourself. Got myself. Didn't even know. You're amazing. You're amazing, Gabriella. You caught that. You got a pair of tickets to go to L.A. Coliseum July 29th. See Rage Against the Machine, L.A. Rising. Mews. Mews. And Rise Against. Hang on the line. Thank you. You got it. What a show. Wow. Good one. All right, more calls. M1 Cat from Camp Pendleton. Good morning. How are you doing? Good. Good. I was weighing in on the boxer discussion. What do you think if a girl's going to wear boxers in a sports bra to the mailbox? All the way in. Yeah. In on the whole thing. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Now, when Wood says in, all the way in, he would have said that if you would have said... What do you think about a girl walking topless to the... I mean, the reaction was clearly about the sensualness of what she's wearing. Mikey, let's be clear, though. Yeah. She can't be a pig, girl. If she's a pig... She can't walk in that. Can't be a pig. Right. That'd be disgusting. Don't be disgusting. Like this. Yeah. Who doesn't want to see that? I won't roll into the mailbox.

1:16:36I'm not talking about Winona Judd walking out to the mailbox. She should wear a robe. So why is it different for a dude to walk to the mailbox in the boxers? Exactly. For the female's viewing pleasure. Well, listen. The ladies love it. Do they? Thank you. Maybe the ladies think you're a creep. Fine. Cool. If I saw any of my neighbors walk out in their boxes. I wouldn't be, it wouldn't be, and I know my neighbors. L.O.B. scratching the bottom of her belly like a dude scratching herself. Here's the thing. If I saw any of my male neighbors do it, I wouldn't have a conversation with them about it. It wouldn't be that. I would just go. Class it up a little bit, bro. Wear a tuxedo to get the mail? Yes, wearing a tuxedo. Yes, the only way to take out your garbage. Yes, the only way to take your garbage out is in a tuxedo. I was walking Sage in her stroller the other day, and my neighbor, who's mid-40s, came out in his boxers and slippers. And that was it. And he came up and said, oh my gosh, she's getting so big. No big deal. And I was like, I could tell he was a little startled because he didn't expect to see me because I was in an alley by our house.

1:17:45to his car, and he's like, oh. But then he's like, why not see the baby while I'm out here? And I was like, whatever. I don't see anything. I live a much more European lifestyle than you, Kyle. Is that why you're wearing a Speedo right now? Yes, exactly. I'm actually commando right now. You're wearing a beret and a Speedo right now. I really like your scarf. That's nice. My cigarette holder. Thank you, Kat. Your pencil-thin mustache. That's right. I'm one buddy from San Diego. Buddy, you there? Yeah. Hey, buddy. How's it going? Good. Go ahead. I think it's okay to do it, to go out with your boxers on. You know, sometimes I even have the delivery people. When I order pizza and stuff, I answer it in my boxers. Yeah, I do that too. Breakish. Yeah. I do it all the time. Glad I'm not a delivery girl. Guy from OG's knocks on the door with fresh pizza. I'm like, hey, what's up, dude? Straight boxers. No shirt. Nothing. Boxers. My wife gets pissed off at me every time I do it, though. Yeah. I'm in my house. I'm comfortable. It's not like anything's hanging out.

1:18:46Okay. As long as they're not boxer briefs. Yeah. Agreed. There's a difference. There's a difference. You can see like bulges and stuff with boxer briefs. I know. But boxers, it really hides everything. Well, then why wouldn't you wear that? Why wouldn't you wear that out normally? I don't know. I mean, I think if I did, I've run to the store and boxers and a t-shirt. And gone inside. And gone inside. Yeah. At 7-Eleven. I'm going to challenge you because I don't believe you. That's a true story. All right. Get the missus on the phone. She'll tell you. Like what kind of store? 7-Eleven. You've walked into a 7-Eleven wearing boxers. Absolutely. You realize that if a police officer were in there. Negative. Negative. Yeah. Negative. What can he do to me? I can do a thing. Indecent. Indecent. Excuse me, sir. Those boxers are short. Well, he doesn't have to ask. See, that's the beauty of the argument. You don't got to ask. Yeah, he's not going to do anything. Nowhere in the law. What are you wearing there? Hiking boots, sir. What do we got? It says shirt and shoes.

1:19:42You can't show up in your undergarments to a public place. What's the difference? Watch me. Okay, gladly. We'll see what happens. Girls wear boxers everywhere. Let's do this. Girls used to roll to class in boxer shorts. I already said what. I know you did, but she said. I already said it. She said. You said something. You, L-O-B. You said something just now. What? She talked about wearing boxers. Yeah, girls can do it. She's not going to get arrested for indecent. I already said. But if I'm going to get arrested for indecent for wearing boxers, wouldn't she? By your logic? No. Really? Because it's become socially acceptable. It's socially acceptable for a man to wear boxer shorts to his mailbox. Absolutely. What is a police officer going to say? Let me see the tag. I need to know if it says jockey or not on it. He doesn't have to. Fruit of the loom. He doesn't have to. We all know what underwear looks like. We know what underwear looks like. You look at it, you guys wear boxers. They sell them in other places, too, though, that look like that. I'm wearing friggin' boxers to work tomorrow, and that's it. Do it. I'm gonna. Yeah, and you know what? I'm gonna. What do you think? In Rick Jackson's office. What do you think our general manager, Rick Jackson, would think if you walked in in a pair of boxers? He'd think I was insane. Yeah, he'd think you were insane.

1:20:56He would laugh. This is work. He would laugh. He would be jealous. Let's test it out. And I'll do it Wednesday. Oh, oh my gosh. M1 Ashley from Ramona. Hi. What happened to your friend? He was in his front yard with a bunch of friends and he was in his boxers and they were, you know, drinking beer, whatever. And he had a wardrobe malfunction and a mother across the street that was playing with her kids saw and called the police. and he got slapped with the fines for indecent exposure, and he now has to register on Megan's Law. Like, he's a registered sex defender. Now, Woods has thing control. Yeah. All right? Now, the only reason that guy got busted was because he didn't have thing control. Woods says that when he goes out, I say, what if stuff comes out? And Woods goes, I got thing control, monkey.

1:21:51And so that guy did not have thing control. He's drunk. Well, that guy was hanging out in his yard drinking. Like, it's completely different. I'm walking. Wait, Mike, write the rules down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me write the rules down. So you can't drink and walk around in your box. Okay, no drinking and boxing. No drinking and boxing. Got it. Okay. Got it. You're not hanging out in the front yard. No pun intended. Oh, wait, let me get that. Okay, so no hanging out in front yard. Right. I don't hang out. I just go get my mail. Okay, just mail or can we walk somewhere else? Okay, trash. 7-Eleven, drive through. 7-Eleven, drive through. What about leisurely stroll around block? Oh, yeah, if you want to. Okay, leisurely strolling around block in boxes. Perfectly okay. Yeah. If you drop the mail, are you allowed to pick it up? Yes. Ice cream truck. Ice cream truck. Yeah, you're okay. Jogging. No jogging. No. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Let's go back. Because there's flopping. They're flopping. They're flopping. Okay. Ice cream truck.

1:22:49Kids at the ice cream truck. That's okay, huh? Yeah. Heck no. Boxers and t-shirts. T-shirt. You got to throw a t-shirt on. Okay. With your P-U-B-E-S coming out of those boxers. I don't have P-U-B-E-S, pal. You are such. What is wrong? Trim that stuff. Trim it. What are you doing? Playboy? What are you, Miss September and Miss August? Hold on. Hold on. What did you buy me for Christmas? I got you a man groomer. Yes, you did. And what is it for? You did? Wow. Yeah. What? It's the best. How did we not know this? Wow. It's dynamite. In my life. It's dynamite. Every man. It's the Panasonic. Is it Panasonic? Yeah, it's Panasonic. Every man should know. Mikey wanted you to fix yourself up for him. There are so many levels. That would be weird. This is weird. That. It wasn't weird. This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. My brother is the one that introduced me to it. Yeah, Mikey turned me on to it. A brother can turn a brother on to something. Absolutely. So you gave that to me. No, I'm so smart about it. I use it. Sienna, explain to me why it's weird that I gave Woods.

1:24:07The best man groomer on the market. Because Lauren and I are girls and we don't talk about stuff like that. Lauren and you are girls. You guys are like, that's a relationship-y gift. You and Lauren also don't like driving a car together and fart. You don't do that. You're girls. But guys can talk to each other about, guys can do that. I would never buy a bra for my friend. It's a very intimate gift. It's too intimate. I wouldn't get that for Jay. Maybe I would. I gave Jay those fart drops or the poop drops. Well, that's like a funny gift. Yours is like a, here, man, get all cleaned up underneath. It isn't get all cleaned up for me, baby. No, it's, hey, this thing really works. I heard you've been having some trouble with the thing that you're using now. Try that one. Your mind shouldn't even wander to his area. It didn't. I told him. The thing I had, no good. It wasn't working. It's not good. He goes, hey, you got to try this one. In fact, I will post on our fan page. The link to this. It's dynamite. Even recommending it to him, saying this is good, I'm okay with that. But giving it to him is a gift. No, you know how Mike is. He wants you to have. Oh, thanks, man. I'm totally going to use this today. Dude, look at this. Look how it did. It did such a good job. Look at how close it got. I didn't give him lip gloss. All right. Might as well. That's next Christmas. You creeps. How did this dirt on me?

1:25:31I didn't even come about me. DJ gum. Or words. Mikey. Seriously, dude? Call Mikey now. 570-1949. And? Text him at 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Cox High Speed Internet is way more than just an internet service. With downloads up to 66 times the speed of DSL, Cox High Speed Internet is an instant rock concert. It's an online gamer's winning strategy for saving the day faster. With Media Store and Share, Cox High Speed Internet is the vault that keeps your files safe. And with the free Cox Security Suite powered by McAfee, it's your personal security guard. Plus, when you add Cox Advanced TV with HBO Go, Epix, and Vutopia Online, Cox High Speed Internet is your home theater on the go. It's all this and a lot more for a lot less. Because now you can get Cox High Speed Internet starting at just $15 a month for a year when you order the Cox Preferred Bundle. To get this great offer, don't delay. Log on to Cox.com. Cox High Speed Internet. It turns your computer into so much more. Limited time offer. Excludes equipment rental, taxes, and other fees. Actual speeds vary. Other restrictions apply. New. Youthful. Innovative. Lots of words mean fresh. Add Mercedes-Benz to the list.

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1:32:01This report is brought to you by British Airways. British Airways now flies non-stop to London from San Diego, which means you'll spend more time in London and less time waiting to get there. For schedules and fares, visit BA. Well, checking out the freeways this morning, we've had a few incidents. One on the 5 southbound. This is right before Birmingham Drive. It's an accident on the right shoulder. You're backed up to La Costa Avenue. It's a car and a motorcycle. We did get rid of that signal earlier here on the 5 southbound at Loma Santa Fe Drive. They've cleared it, but there are some delays from La Costa that they're adding to as a result of that accident. Lanes are open here, though, now. And the 8 eastbound, we've got it back up from the 5 to Taylor Street. Also brought to you by McDonald's. It's back. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks, only 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.

1:33:02Good morning to you. This is Bert. Bert Sirshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surfport for a Monday morning brought to you once again by Joe Roper Surfboard Repair and Restoration Services right off the block on Marina Boulevard. Surf-wise today, we've got an increase. West-Northwesterly wind-groundspawn mix has picked up quite a bit since yesterday, and that is mixing in with a slow fade in the southwest direction. Size-wise, we've got it. Chest-shoulder high weighs on average. Head-eye plus at standout spots. But that's where the fun stops. because we've got some issues once again with a negative low tide this morning and some pesky southwesterly winds. Beach breaks pretty broken up, sectiony and closed out with a crumble on them. Reef breaks, likewise, real crossed up and shifty and not too clean. A couple areas that are more protected from that dominant southerly wind direction look a little bit better in terms of conditions, but shape-wise, pretty walled up now. However, as the tide goes in later this morning, it can only get better. And there's a chance in these kind of weird days for the winds to back off and get some cleaner surf towards the late afternoon evening. So let's hope for that. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And once again, I'd like to thank Voice and Video Rentals for their great help on the show that we had at Bird Surfshed this weekend. Manufacturing Stoke, check it out. This surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.

1:34:31Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Part of the problem with me is I like summertime. I just, I don't like going out and doing stuff. Lauren. I have ketchup packets in my drawer at home. So what? Woods. Mikey, I have a new ritual. What? I have to have a Dr. Pepper and a donut on the way to work every morning. Louisiana. I want to work out. I hate the gym, but I want to go. And Jay. I am a huge fan of meatloaf. On FM 94.9. I put the man groomer on our Facebook page. You got a clean house sometimes, man. Of course you do. I mean, it's ridiculous. Trimmed the shrubs to make the trees look bigger. I didn't go that far, did I? Huh. Thank you, Jay. Let's play Name That Tune. Oh, yeah! All right, you call us right now, 570-1949. And you're going to pick me, Sienna, Woods, or LOB. You need to choose one of us.

1:35:37To represent you. Let's name that tune just like, you know, regular name that tune, but we use our name as a buzzer. And Jay, what's the theme? It's the name of the lady who sings all these songs is Wing. And she's a little Asian lady. Oh, yeah. I've heard of Wing. Wing is... Is she from another country like originally or is she from the United States? She's got to be from another country. Yeah. And she's got a heavy accent. Heavy, heavy accent. But she'll sing regular songs, you know, like regular songs. And so the theme is Little Asian Lady singing songs. We can still give title or artist, right? Jay, title or artist still win for us, right? Oh, yeah. He's trying to do two things at once. Y'all shut up. Y'all leave me alone. Help me. Help. Help these phones. Maybe if somebody could come help me in here. I wouldn't have to deal with this. Mike, maybe you'd take the wheel for two seconds. Trying to do things around here. Had a tough enough weekend driving 13 miles on a bike. Making love to my wife. Making love all weekend. Good Lord, just being perfect. Photo shoot too. Photo shoot.

1:36:50Went down to Pfizer, gave them some of my blood again for Viagra pills. Donated my blood for the Fountain of Youth Project. That's right. That's all I do now on weekends, just donate blood for Viagra pills to be made. Fountain of Youth. I can't get enough. Now they want to make steel out of me. Can I get a rest? Can I just get a nap in? A beauty rest. I don't nap. You know when I nap? When I'm riding my bike. That's right. That's a nap for me. I nap when I'm dead. That's like a nap. When I'm riding my bike. If I'm sitting down on the potty doing my thing, that's considered a nap for me. You know Chuck Norris? He's intimidated by me. M1 Mike, are you there? Yeah. And who would you like to select, buddy? My boy Wood. There you go. Hang on the line. M1 Trish, who do you want? You got it. Hang on the line. M1 Will, who do you want? I'll take you, Mikey. You got it. Oh, boy. What? What? M1 SoCal. I have to make a big deal. I'm not. M1 SoCal. Sienna is your representative. Lucky. Lucky you. SoCal likes me. Yeah, he does. Hang on, SoCal. Okay. Who knows? Who knows? Two M1 SoCals. We're playing for a pair of tickets to the San Diego County Fair. All right. And here we go. Mikey. Just one look. Yeah. God.

1:38:56Abba? Yeah. Mamma Mia. Damn it. Yeah, isn't that Abba? It is Abba. Oh, is it? Yeah, Mamma Mia. I looked at Abba, couldn't find it. Yeah, Alibi gets a point. I know. It is Abba. Or should we both? She got it right. That's it. Monsters. That's pretty good. Let's do this. Here we go. Mikey. ACDC. Damn it. It's a shame you can't hear more of these songs. Lauren. Fiance. Oh, good. Oh, wow. When we're done, we will listen to it. Lauren. Michael Jackson beat it. What is wrong with me? It's kind of hard to figure it out. Woods. Here we go. Woods. Again, ACDC. She's a big ACDC. She's into it, yeah. She did a whole ACDC album. Oh, of course she did. Here we go.

1:40:18Mikey, that is a... I got it, Mikey. Woods, the Carpenters. There you go. We don't have time for you to sing the whole song, Mikey. Mikey, negative one, Lauren, three, Woods, two, me, zero. Here we go. Woods. Woods. Elvis Presley. Thank you. What was that? In the ghetto. In the ghetto. In the ghetto. Woods and Lauren are tied. Oh boy. There's a reason they're always picked first. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Here we go. Sienna, Sound of Music. It's from the Sound of Music. Wow, Sienna recognized that and you could see it. Isolate. That's a great one. Isolate.

1:41:25Mikey. The Beatles. Woods is in the lead. Here we go. Mikey. Mikey. That is also the Carpenters. Easy Carpenters. You're back to zero, Mike. It's pretty sad. Oh, good. I'm back to zero. What's the scores, Sienna? Mike, zero. Me, one. Lauren, three. Woods, four. So this is a two-pointer. This is the last one. This is the last one. Oh, my gosh. Here we go. Woods. It's a dancing queen. Oh, wow. Darn it. Stop thrusting. Woods is our winner. Darn it. Yeah. So close. It's a slow motion thrust. Holy cow. M1 Mike Woods won for you. Thank you. Thank you. Made my week. You got it, buddy. Thank you. Hang on the line. Made his week. We just started. I started slow. All right. Jay, let me hear.

1:42:36One of the wing. This is about a 76-year-old Asian woman. Let me hear wing, ACDC, doesn't matter which. It's not ACDC. Oh, I didn't hear that part. Jay, let me hear ACDC, doesn't matter which one. You're not enjoying that? Here we go. She stands here like this. She stands like this when she sings with her hands clasped. Hands clasped. Clasped. And she's got the, like, traditional wear on. Like, what is the, kimono? Geisha? Geisha, yeah. What else? Give me the options. Give me my options. You've got, well, you heard the Mamma Mia. There's the ACDC back in black. The Beyonce I thought was good. Michael Jackson beat it. The Carpenters. Elvis in the ghetto. It's pretty ghetto, though. That was a bad record. Let me hear the other ACDC.

1:44:23Oh, wow. That was a little high. She has albums for sale. Of course she does. Wing. Wing. I'd buy it. Would you? Yeah. And when I have a little wing on hand? No. It's not like a regular, you know. When are you going to listen to that? In the bath? No. You know what you do? When somebody comes over, you do it as a joke. You go, hey. You want some ACDC or? And they go, yeah. And you put it on. Love ACDC. Yeah. You don't cruise around with it, but you got to have it on hand. Driving to a game, getting amped up. Yeah. You got to have it on hand. Good dinner party music. Oh yeah. Woods and I have, we, we have a disconnect when it comes to funny music. Yes. You know, I think it's funny. Woods thinks it's dorky and it's supposed to be. That's the point, you know, but we don't see eye to eye on that. Probably never will. No.

1:46:01You know, we've both tried to see the other's point of view. It's a true story. But we just can't meet in the middle. Yeah. We've tried. What about if we did this, though? We did a little Woods of Wisdom, and this is where you can call and you can ask Woodsy a question that has to do with guy stuff or whatever. You can go to the website, and you can write us a message there. All right, so this first one says, Woods, we have a buddy that's terrible at golf and always wants to join us on the course. He holds us up. He curses like a sailor. And it's just not fun. How do we tell him he can't come anymore? M1Mosh.0. You tell him that you can't come anymore, pal. And a guy...

1:46:59from his boys will be able to handle that. And you just sit them down and you say, hey, listen, dude, you can't come to the foursomes anymore. Why not? Because you're killing us. What do you mean? You're freaking killing us. We are all pretty decent golfers. You're making no attempt to get better, and you have a terrible attitude out there. What is this, the PGA? No, it's not the PGA. I thought we were going out there to have fun. We are having fun. We are not having fun when you're there, buddy. Why? Because you curse and you're like an idiot out there. Really? You're like Sally Samaritan now? I don't know what that meant. You've got to respect the course. You've got to respect the rules of the course. Well, how come Jay gets to go? He will go urinate on the course. And when he does, he uses his pinchers. That's a true statement. You're telling me that's not weird? That's a true statement. But I can't go. But Jay's good. He's a good golfer. Oh, so he can go and be rude. You're holding us up. You're a golfist. Yeah, I am a golfist. Here's what we do. If there's somebody bad, we may just make them pick up. Like, you don't get a chance. We just drive by your ball, pick up the ball, and you come play. But see, what bothers that group, that foursome, too, is the cursing. Oh. The guy out on the field. I curse like a sailor. I mean, when I'm on the golf course, too, you'll never hear more curse words. So I've probably been that guy they're talking about. Mm-hmm. Yet another reason I don't play golf. Maybe just don't cuss out there. No. That's easier said than done. Or try to get a handle on it or something. Easier said than done. It's just words. It's just words.

1:48:19Doesn't mean anything. Doesn't it? No. But if it didn't, if it didn't mean... If they shouldn't. Oh, that's the deal. Okay, so poo versus the other word that starts with S, they both mean the same thing. Right. So why is one okay and one's not? Same reason that the word black guy is okay and the N word isn't. Jay, you've said both words on the air. Because words mean stuff. I have said both words on the air. Jay said both the poo and the S. Yeah, because words mean stuff. You know, but listen. They shouldn't. You're out on the golf course. Yeah, you got to tone it down when you're out there. Listen, we say it shouldn't until it affects us. Until somebody calls our daughter a slut. Then we're like, what did you just... It's just words. It's just words. Sticks and stones. My dad told you that happened? No, I think you got to tell your boy, hey, you need to tone it down. But you don't want to play with that guy that's just terrible. He's your boy. Out. Boot him. Find another one. How about this? How about you give them one chance? You say, hey, listen. Yeah, last chance, buddy. Clean it up, buddy. Oh. Clean it up. Yeah. How about this one? Woods, I kind of feel like a creeper and I'm looking for your advice. My girlfriend's 18, goes to Mount Helix. I'm 21, go to SDSU. Oh, wow. She asked me to her prom and I feel like I'm an all-out creeper. Woods, I've never gone to prom except when I was a senior in high school. Yeah, you don't go to prom after you graduate. You just don't.

1:49:51So you let her go with somebody else? Yes. Let her go with a friend. Meet her at the after prom. Even if it's his girlfriend? Yeah, you're 21 years old. You don't go to prom. You can go to a bar. You don't go to prom. Isn't that what you signed up for when you started dating a high school girl? Yeah, I mean, you're kind of a creeper because you're dating a high school girl, but you don't go to her prom. My prom date was 23. Oh, my gosh. And I had a boyfriend that was the same age. He didn't want to go, so I went with another friend of mine. A 23-year-old man went to prom with you. Yeah. Good evening, Mr. Kaczynski. Your Sienna's date tonight? We're still friends. Hello, Mr. Bundy. Yeah, that's disgusting. No, it was not. We had a great time. He's 23 years old. Sienna, let me get this straight. You had a boyfriend. Yeah. Why didn't you go to prom with him? He didn't want to go. He felt like a creep. How old was he? 40. He was 28. He was 22. And he felt like a creep so the 23-year-old went? Yeah.

1:50:46I met the 23-year-old through him. They were friends. And so my boyfriend's like, yeah, you can go with him. Wow. His name is Matt. I'm still friends with him. Did Matt try to kiss you? No. Tell me the truth. Later in life. But not at prom, though. Because you have big jugs. He did not try at prom. No, he was a great date. Yeah, he could buy beer. Exactly. Define great date. We danced. We took pictures. He's fun. 401k. He's got 401k. He's fun. All my friends liked him. Had his own apartment. And he could talk to anyone. He had his own apartment. Yeah. You didn't really go to his apartment. No, no. He came to my house. There's pictures. You can see he looked totally fine. He looked great. 24-year-old, man. He got me the corsage, the whole deal. He wore a boutonniere. It was a fantastic time. And your boyfriend's sitting at home watching TV? Yeah, he regretted it. Because screw you. You're not going to go with me. I'm going to get another date. And I'm going to look damn good. And I did. And he called me the next morning. Yeah, you wish you would have gone. But yeah, older guys. That's just what I do.

1:51:49Can you write that down? Yeah. 570-1949. Let's see. There's a lot of people calling about this, but there's also people calling that have input on the last Woods of Wisdom. And people want to ask you questions, Woods. Fire away. M1, the goddaughter from El Cajon, are you there? Yep, hi. Hi, what's your question? I don't have a question, but... I have an idea because I have the same problem with one of my friends who always wants to tag along. And he's kind of like a Debbie Downer of the group. And so we found an idea that if we find someone who's even more of a Debbie Downer than he is, that he eventually went away. So, I don't know, maybe up it from there. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. In other words, he didn't like the new Debbie Downer. Yeah.

1:52:53That's pretty funny. Exactly. I think he wanted to be the ultimate depressing person of the group. So when we found a new one, like, I think he was out. They're just trying to depress each other. Then what'd you do with a new one? Now you got a worse one. Yeah, that's true. It wasn't that bad because... Did you just rent them? Just rent a downer? Rent a loser. Yeah, rent a downer. Rent a loser.com. I'm renting that. I'm going to patent that too. Yeah. I'm going to get that website today. I'll make Mikey and Woods a spokesman. A couple fat downers and just say, hey. Fat losers. Here you go. Getaloser.com. Eat this. I'll offer losers. I'll offer fatties. I'll offer down ones. You guys can be actually all three categories. Yeah. Hey, I'm Woods. Hey, I'm Mikey. We're Fat and Downer. Rent us for the day. Don't forget loser, dummy. You dummy? You dummy? 570-194-9. That's me. One time you call out a man's name. Call the wrong one out. 570-194-9.

1:54:34Give us a call. We got some good stuff coming up for you. I got more stuff white people like. Got to tell you this story that is recap. We'll do it next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 94 at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. It's almost here. And it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Triple Hops Brood Miller Lite. Taste Greatness.

1:56:18Independence Jam is also supported by Grubby's and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Friday Night Transfer will play the Casbah. That's this coming Friday the 27th. And Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra play Soma next week. They'll be there June 1st. June 5th is the sold-out FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Matt and Kim and the Thermals are at House of Blues June 16th. July 26th, the Perfect Circle plays the open-air theater. And there's two shows July 30th. Slightly Stupid here in town at the Cricket Wireless Amphitheater. Or if you go to the L.A. Coliseum for L.A. Rising, you can see Rage Against the Machine, Muse, Rise Against, and a bunch of bands. Big Sonic Chill presents Sia at House of Blues August 11th. Death Cab for Cuties at the Remack, August 16th. 311 and Sublime with Rome play Cricket Wireless, August 19th. You can see Kings of Leon there on September 4th. And September 13th, Ray LaMontagne will play Copley Symphony Hall. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com.

1:57:42We're back, and the folks at McDonald's drop by the studio. With the new jalapeno cheddar McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and the new cheddar onion McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and from the looks of these beauties, $1.49 is a real deal. I see your jalapeno cheddar McChicken has melted white cheddar, and is that hot jalapeno salsa? Oh, wow, spicy. I did not see that coming, McDonald's. Oh, and the grilled onions on this cheddar onion McChicken are incredible. Big, cheesy taste. Hey, switch with me. I like a take-charge man. I like a lady who's... Cut to commercial. McDonald's new spicy jalapeno cheddar McChicken and savory cheddar onion McChicken. The simple joy of cheesy deliciousness with spicy jalapeno salsa or grilled onions. Just $1.49 each. That was so tasty. You got a little cheese on here. That's not cheese. It's an onion. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up again to give you the summer's best discount. Now adults and kids can save $20 on a single day admission. Visit your local McDonald's today for details and get your exclusive SeaWorld discount coupon. I'm test driving a BMW 5 Series today, and I am taking it as far as it goes. Single tank of gas, up to 32 miles per gallon highway. That is almost 600 miles. Brought my own music on the car's 12-gig hard drive. That's a lot of guitar solos. Use Google Maps to line up some great stops on the way. Man's got to eat. Set directions straight from my laptop to the car. Oh, really? A fruit truck just pulled in front of me. Strawberry jam, averted. And fuel saved.

1:59:10See, when you hit the brakes, the unused energy gets stored, creating power without using fuel. Now let's find some open road. I suggest you do the same. The test drive of the 5 Series today. Oh, here's a curve that I'd love to save some fuel on. Up to 2232 City Highway MPG based on EPA estimates. For a limited time, lease the BMW 528i sedan for $579 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Fox Monday. Two of the most powerful hours on television come to a shocking conclusion. First, on the season finale of House, a controversial performance artist. You don't know which of my symptoms are real, which are fake. This is a puzzle made for you. Now you're just pissing me off. And a shattered relationship. House? You want to know how I feel? Send house spinning so out of control. There's no turning back. If Greg House steps foot in my hospital again, I want him thrown in jail. Then, the entire season of the Chicago Code. I heard a wide tap surveillance photos of him doing business with known organized crime figures. I will fight this and I will fight you. Has come down. Did you kill my brother? To one stunning final hour. Jared. Put the gun down. What are you doing? What? That will leave you breathless. Call every available sheriff now.

2:00:27It's the Chicago Code season finale event after the season finale of House. It all starts at 8 on Fox 5. Then stay tuned for the Fox 5 News at 10. It all starts tonight at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why? Because as a small business owner, it's more than your job. It's what you love. And you need technology that keeps pace with your passion. That's why Verizon delivers all the wireless solutions you need to make sure your business rules. Verizon technology gives you the power to enable growth and boost productivity because only Verizon offers an arsenal of advanced devices, powerful business apps, and mobile security safeguards, all backed by unrivaled customer support and the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. More small businesses choose Verizon Wireless than any other wireless carrier because they know the small business with the best technology rules. Now get the lightning-fast Thunderbolt by HTC for only $249.99. No rebate required. Exclusively at Verizon. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash smallbusiness, or call 1-800-BZW-4Biz. Requires new tier activation and data pack. Early termination and other fees apply. Preference results based on third-party study.

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2:05:00This report, it's brought to you by McDonald's. It's back. You can quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks. Only 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. Well, it looks like the 8 eastbound right before the 15. We do have a car that's still sitting there blocking that left shoulder. The 5 southbound after La Costa Avenue, an earlier accident. They've cleared that from the center divider. Should be able to get through without any issue whatsoever. And careful as you travel on the 5 southbound. before Genesee Avenue. Somebody lost their push room. It's right across the middle lanes. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 loop oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. ABCT San Diego. A Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I've got tattoos, I'm Mexican, I'm short, and I'm bald. Lauren. There is a thought bubble over my head right now. It would be empty. Woods. My wife hates when I pick my nose, I get my knuckle deep. Sienna. The only time I'll eat spinach is if it's in artichoke dip. And Jay. Yeah, I'm not going to play games with him. Just point blank ask him, then I'm going to break his legs. On FM 94.9. Sienna, what's going on in the news?

2:06:47Well, the Employment Development Department announced that the unemployment rate in San Diego County was 9.8% this last month in April, which is actually down from the 10.2% in March and the 10.3%, which was in April of last year. So it's improving. So it went from worse to bad. Yes, worse to bad, exactly. Also, NASA announced on Friday that the final shuttle flight has been targeted to launch on July 8th. The final flight will be made by Atlantis with four astronauts on board, and the Endeavour is currently docked at the International Space Station right now on the second-to-last mission. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, I watched a very interesting interview last night on 60 Minutes with Tyler Hamilton, who used to be Lance Armstrong's right-hand man. Tyler Hamilton's been subpoenaed by the Supreme Court about doping in professional cycling. Right. And, dude. This interview was absolutely riveting. And he basically said, and you could tell he didn't want to, but he basically said, yeah, I've seen Armstrong dope. I've doped with him. He's gotten me dope before. Really implicating seven-time Tour de France winner, Lance Armstrong. And I just said France, by the way. EPO in the Tour de France in 1999. Correct. He was using EPO in the Tour de France in the year 2000. He used it before to prepare for the tour.

2:08:15And what about the tour in 2001? He used it to prepare for the tour. I can't say that he used it during the tour. What did you actually witness? I saw it in his refrigerator. I saw him inject it more than one time. You saw Lance Armstrong inject EPO? Yeah, like we all did. Like I did many, many times. He also laid out... this systematic doping program that was set up by the U.S. Postal Team. I mean, basically, they had doctors, they had the whole thing, and they would go and they'd deliver the stuff to these guys in white lunch bags. And if you got a white lunch bag, you had made it. You were almost bummed if you didn't get the white lunch bag. Because if you didn't get it, you weren't good enough. You got the white lunch bag, you're now in. It was intense. I'm not a big cycling guy.

2:09:17But, man, I could not turn the TV off. It was absolutely incredible. Also, just in this weekend, too, boxing legend Oscar De La Hoya has entered rehab. He issued a statement on TMZ. by his choice to go to TMZ and tell them, basically said, I've done an honest evaluation of myself. There are certain issues I need to work on. Like everyone, I have my flaws. I don't want to be one of those people that's afraid to admit and address those flaws. So he's not saying what he's in rehab for, but he's had some alcohol and drug issues in the past, too. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. It's weird that you say, I'm going into rehab, but you don't say. Right. Like, why? I mean, if you're going to go as far as to announce that you're going to rehab, it seems odd that you wouldn't say. Right. Struggling with alcohol or whatever. Yeah. Stuff white people like. Reach for the sky, honky. Now, this doesn't mean that only white people like it. It just means there's a big player in the white people community. Conan O'Brien. 100. Big player in the white people community. Team Coco. That's right. Camping.

2:10:30Case in point. There I am. Vespa scooters. Absolutely. Especially white Italians. Listen, I mean, if you were to draw up the statistics on Caucasians and Vespa scooters in the United States, I don't know. Overwhelming. 100%. Overwhelming. You know what else is a big player in the white people community? Banksy. Oh, yeah. Banksy. The graffiti artist. Big player. And the hipster. That's right. Hating people who wear Ed Hardy is something that overwhelmingly white people enjoy doing. There's nothing wrong with hating people that wear Ed Hardy, in my opinion. If you're a white guy, like Woods, that's a big thing to you. Ironically enough, a lot of the people that wear Ed Hardy are white guys. Yes.

2:11:37Sea salt is a big... When regular salt won't do. Gotta have the sea salt. Oh my God. Love sea salt. You know what else is stuff that white people like is black music that black people don't listen to anymore. A hundred. We call it white people. We call it old school. Right. And that's the kind of stuff I listen to. If I'm going to listen to rap or hip hop... Old school. Right. Because you're a white guy. Yeah. Black people won't listen to it anymore. Yeah, they're laughing, going, enjoy. Feast. Ugly sweater parties. Predominantly a white people thing. Oh, yeah. I'd say really any dress-up slash themed party. I think it'd be safe to lump that in there, too. Oh, yeah. You know what else the big...

2:12:35Stuff white people like is hummus. Hummus is by and large consumed by either Greeks that live in Athens. Even they're tired of it. And even they're tired of it. They're like, with the hummus. Yeah, mostly it's white women that shop at Henry's. Yes. Guilty as charged. Frisbee sports. Absolutely. This is a big list of J's. Things J's into. J's recap. Here's what I like to do. Just call it the weekend. Now, this one may, there may be somebody that right now is writing an email to complain about this very bit, okay? Because I'm doing stuff white people like. They could be writing to our program director or to me. One of the big things that's on the list of stuff white people like is being offended.

2:13:36Is a big player. Oh, yeah. It's a big player in the white people community. I'm offended. You offended me. You offended me. That's my Dave Chappelle doing a white guy being offended. Yes. You offended me. You as a Mexican man doing an impression of a black man doing an impression of a white guy. Yes. Do. Do other races not get as offended as white people? I tend to think that they don't at all. They don't. They don't. White women know more about helping the black community. They have stronger opinions about the black community than the black community. White women. Sweaters are a big player. In the white people community. You don't see a lot of Latinos walking around in sweaters. I'll give you that. That is a true statement. Children's games as adults. This. Want to come over for my Monopoly party? You guys want to go to game night? You want to play Connect Four? Come on. It'll be fun. Scrabble. Hello. You guys. Twister. Come on. Let's do this. It'll be fun. Let's do it. It's hell on earth. That's hell on earth to me. Wait a minute. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. I'm not coming to game night.

2:14:59I'll get some boar's head. All right. Boar's head. I'll go to Trader Joe's and get some white wine. Big brie, maybe. And a block of brie. Some French bread. We'll warm it up in the oven and come over. Let's play Twister. Sounds like torture to me. I'll play the drinking version of Chutes and Ladders. Yeah. Come on. Play Chutes and Ladders and I'll get some whiskey. Candyland and maybe we'll smoke a doobie. Yeah. When the kids go to bed, we'll go out back. We'll smoke some grass. Now you're talking. Now we're in. You know what else white people like is the onion. Oh, yes. Huge player. Yes. And one Mexican. And one Mexican. The onion is absolutely brilliant. It's hysterical. I've laughed till tears have come out of my eyes. Absolutely. Promising to learn a new language is something that's predominantly done. She's like, I've done it. I want to learn Italian. Let me get the book on tape. Can I get the Rosetta Stone for Italian and Greek, please? I'm going to learn Greek and then I'm going to go to Greece.

2:16:15These are things that, by and large, minorities are like, I don't care. I don't care. We already speak two languages. We need our buddy Lou Bush on here to read this list. He would love it. He would love this. When you were gone and Lou Bush filled in, he must have said no less than 15 times. That's a white people thing. That's a white people thing. I love that. We've got Bush. Perfect. It works, you know. White people like to pick their own fruit. Well, as opposed to what? Buying it at the grocery store? They do? Yes. You go on, like, little trips. You know, a lot of these things apply to me. A lot of these things apply to me. Like, I go in my backyard, I pick an apple or something. I'm really happy about it. That's true, because I have a lemon and lime tree now, and I'm like, ooh, let me go get a lemon. It's classic. Rugby? 100. 100%, right? The idea of soccer. The idea. Just the idea. They love it. Just the entire idea of soccer. White people just love the idea. You mean you don't like the World Cup? It's celebrated amongst every other nation. It's the biggest sport in the world. It's worldwide. That's the bit I get from friends. It's worldwide. Great. It sucks. You know what? We're the only country that doesn't care. Yeah, exactly. I went to Thailand. There was kids on the beach playing it. That's right. I went to Spain. There was kids in the street. Yeah, try going to South America.

2:17:43You can't get a burrito without a kid running in front of you with a soccer ball. But not here, though, you know. Sorry, we want to play football, which you stole the name anyway. That's right. Football is actually soccer. Dreyfus. You called it football, but it's actually soccer. From now on, all white people impersonations are Richard Dreyfus. It's actually soccer. Don't even call it football. You know what it is. King from another country from South America. By the very name, you use your foot. That's right. It's in the name. You call it football. Threatening to move to Canada? That's something white people do. Done it. Done it. Done it. Done it. Done it. Oh my gosh. If Sarah Palin gets elected, I am totally moving to Canada. Verbatim what I said as well. Verbatim. You don't hear very often. Let me tell you something, man. Sarah Palin wins this election. I'm moving to Canada. You just don't hear that. I'm going to tell you something right now, man. If Sarah Palin gets the nomination, dude.

2:19:03I'm moving to Canada. You just don't hear it. It's true. This doctor's bill is ridiculous. I'm moving to Canada. Absolutely. I hate health insurance here. Health insurance here drives me mad. I'm moving to Canada. I'm not really moving to Canada. I'm just threatening to move to Canada. Chances Richard Dreyfuss has actually said that to his wife at one point. 100%. Toronto has a film scene. Let's go. I can act there. Vancouver. Standing still at concerts. Oh, my God. I know. Not this white guy. I mean, either. No way. They're drumming up real good. Oh, this is for sure. Co-ed sports. So in. Kickball. Dodgeball. Babe, let's play together. So fun. Honey, I've got an idea. Why don't we join a co-ed softball team? It's like torture. Why? I had to manage a co-ed softball team. You want all the girls at the beginning of the year. Oh, I want to play. I want to play. Game night. I can't make it tonight. I'm like, oh, my God. Now I have to scrounge and find girls. Found the wrong girls, though. Oh, my God.

2:20:21Same bit with fantasy football. Oh, my gosh. Exactly. Case in point, L-O-B. I want to play fantasy football. Can I be in your league? I want to be in your league. No. Why? You're such a sexist. Is it a boys club? It's a sexist. Nobody said no to me this year, but I'm not doing it again. Oh. I don't even know how to play, so. I'm not. She didn't set her lineup. She set her lineup three times. That's not true. That's an exaggeration. There was like two times I didn't set my lineup. Oh. I know. It's not about being a female. It's about being forgetful. It's about being a female, I think. Because every man set his lineup. Every. Every man. Every man. And men are forgetful. I am forgetful. Of course. But I do not forget to set my fantasy team. How many times, how many days in a row did I forget my key card to get into the building? Like three. Forgetful. A Toyota Prius. Agreed.

2:21:18It's something that, by and large, white people really love. Boy, they love those things. They love them some Prius. It's incredibly good for the environment. And gas mileage. It's great gas mileage. You're putting less fossil fuels into the air. It's quiet. It's very quiet. It's roomier than you'd think. It's a much roomier car than you would anticipate. When I'm creeping on women, they can barely hear me pulling up behind them. It's Ted Bundy. That's right. He would have been a big fan of the Prius. Jay, tell us the story about your friend's dad. Well, my friend's dad just recently passed away. Weird. Yeah. He had known for a year that he was sick, that he was going to pass. And he didn't tell anybody. Why? Because he didn't want to burden them with it. But now they're kind of mad at him.

2:22:20because, well, you know, as mad as you can be as somebody that just passed away because he didn't tell them because they would have liked to have had a chance to say goodbye. To me, I was thinking, I wouldn't tell you either. I just wanted to be, I would want to be treated the same way and just treat me, you know, with respect and love me. See, I was going to say the same, those are the same reasons that you should tell me. Why? Treat me with respect and love me. Well, why do you need to know? Well, because you're my dad. No, really, Jay, you're my dad. That explains so much. Yeah. No, because you're, you know, you're my dad. I should know. I mean, for this exact reason, family feels hurt, isolated, right? The death's such a personal thing. I think it's just up to that person how they want to handle it, you know? If they want to say their goodbyes, they don't really have to give other people the privilege of saying goodbye to them. It's kind of selfish, I think. Selfish. I think it's selfish, yeah. You never know until you walk a mile. But if you know that you're going to die and you have a year and you've told everyone, then you're like, okay, I know I'm going to go see that person. It's going to be this pity party. How are you feeling? Are you okay? Can I get you anything? Are you good? That's annoying. Holy cow. Your dad dies and you walk into the hospital. Maybe you rushed him to the hospital. And he dies. And the doctor says, well, I mean, listen. I mean, looking at this cancer the way that we're seeing it.

2:23:47And you're like, what? Excuse me? Well, yeah, he's got stage four cancer. I mean, at that, you either think, oh, well, he didn't know, or he was incredibly selfish. I can't believe you would think it was selfish. I think he just wanted to go out just gracefully. He knew he was going to go anyway. All he was going to do was make everybody else comfortable, but he was probably going to be more uncomfortable. Yeah, I guess it's kind of not selfish if you think about it. It's very selfish. It's the opposite. Here's an example, Mikey. One day I am too going to die. We're all going to die. Okay. Then what's the difference? Treat me like every day is my last day. Well, first of all, you may want to make some preparations, you know, with your family member. You might want to... Hammer out a will? Prepare. I would do that. He probably did. Well, let's say, you know, I'm not just talking about hammering out a will. I'm talking about, you know, just knowing how to execute. Well, my advice is have that conversation anyway. Like, you should have already had that conversation. Like, I've had it with my kids, and it's written in my will. Wow. Jay wouldn't tell. I'd tell. Of course. You could not tell. I don't think I would. I couldn't not tell. You're right. It's a true story. Kid's an open book. What woman do you think got the Decade of Hotness Award? We'll tell you that. And then, Jeff Conway was the guy that played Knicky from Grease.

2:25:18He died and left a voicemail. He died? No, no, no. Sorry. Slipped into a coma May 11th. I'm sorry. I apologize. You scared me. Sorry about that. Hickey from Kinnicky. Slipped into a coma May 11th. Left a voicemail. We have it. Wow. It's coming up. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal. More from The Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Uh, that, that, that. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Oh, go, go. This is The Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. The Ultimate Fighting Championship presents UFC 130. Fresh off a win over Lyoto the Dragon Mashida. Former light heavyweight champion and MMA legend Quentin Rampage Jackson is back to take on the man who smashed Tito Ortiz, Matt.

2:26:23The Hammer Hamill. Also, former heavyweight champion Frank Mir prepares for the knockout power of heavy-handed Roy Big Country Nelson. Plus... Coming off one of the most phenomenal performances of his career, welterweight contender Tiago Alves will go to war with a relentless Rick horror story. And it's a battle of heavyweight giants as 6'7 undefeated Travis Brown takes on 6'11 powerhouse Stefan Skyscraper Strew. Bud Light presents UFC 130, Rampage vs. Hamill from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. This Saturday night, only on pay-per-view. Visit UFC.com for details. Or using your Cox remote control by tuning to channel 501 or in HD on channel 798 after 5.30 p.m. on Saturday. Enjoy the fight. If a car drove by recently that made you point and say, How cool! What is that?

2:27:12Chances are you spotted the all-new Ford Fiesta, quite possibly the perfect car for San Diego. Yeah, it's a pretty big deal. Sure, Fiesta's a compact car, but you don't have to compromise a thing. You'll get up to 40 miles per gallon on the highway. Hey, there are 21 hybrids that don't get that kind of MPG. Seriously. The interior looks like the cockpit of a Learjet, and it's quiet. Spooky quiet. If you dig technology, you'll dig this car. Fiesta's available with hands-free sync. Say a command, and it'll dial your phone or play your favorite tunes. You're going to want to show this car off to your friends. And feel free to brag about what you paid. Fiesta starts at just $13,320. So stop pointing, wondering, and wishing. What is that? Just come into any San Diego County Ford dealer and drive one. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com. EPA estimated 29 MPG city, 40 highway, 33 combined. Hybrid claim based on automatic SFE versus 2010 and 2011 hybrids. MSRP excludes tax, title, destination, and registration fees. Optional equipment not included. See dealer for details. Hey, Rhino here. Welcome to my habitat at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Oh, look at that zebra. You ever just like stare at one? Mesmerizing. Oh, there go some humans on that flight line. Your species is crazy. Ziplining over the entire savanna. Buzzing my head like a condor. Oh, man.

2:28:26I wish you could see this. Mama gorilla carrying a baby like a backpack. Dang, girl, he ate school supplies. Oh, check it out. Humans on a caravan safari. Hey, get a picture of my horn. You guys get any closer, we're going to have to exchange vows. Or just feed me some apples. I'm cool either way. I'm a rhinoceros. Animals are at home at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Come explore their habitat on our flight line, caravan, or a variety of other safari adventures. To choose your safari, visit SanDiegoZooSafariPark.org. And experience the sights and sounds of an African festival during African Extravaganza, July 2nd through August 21st, only at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. So I'm at the theater with my mom and sister, who somehow convinced me to see the latest Victorian romantic love tragedy film. But at least I have an ice cold Coke. Well, I had an ice cold Coke. Now I'm down to that last part where if I try to drink it, there's a good chance it'll make a slurping noise. Quiet. So I'm waiting for an action scene to cover the slurp. And waiting for the action scene. And waiting. Coca-Cola. Open happiness.

2:29:47Refreshing Coke and refreshing savings make summer cooler. Visit your local Albertsons and grab a Coca-Cola summer booklet with more than $85 in savings. That includes $2 off a large Coke at your local AMC theater. And pick up plenty of Coke for all your get-togethers. Coca-Cola, open happiness. While booklet supplies last in savings at participating AMC theater's locations. At University of Phoenix, we've never been afraid to do things differently. We were one of America's first accredited universities to offer online degree programs. We were also one of the first to reach out to working learners. And now we're doing it all over again by offering you a three-week orientation workshop completely free of charge. Call 1-866-4ENROLL to experience university orientation, where you'll learn how to navigate our San Diego area classrooms and how to use our award-winning online learning platforms. You'll also get a chance to work with our enrollment advisors, who can help you find the right degree to match your unique skills and interests. Call University of Phoenix at 1-866-4-ENROLL or visit phoenix.edu slash enroll to get started in a different kind of orientation program, one designed to give you the tools you need to start making a difference in your life. This free orientation workshop is available for students with less than 24 credits. Oh, no, they didn't. Yes, they did. Denny's put bacon on ice cream.

2:31:14Covered it with maple syrup. A maple bacon sundae. Just one of seven new dishes during Baconaglia. Denny's celebration of bacon. Come in now or anytime. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. My colleague is speaking double to share some great news from Shell and Ralph's. When you fuel up at Shell, take your receipt to Ralph's and get double rewards points when using your Ralph's rewards card. And double rewards points means faster earnings. Yep. Let me repeat that for emphasis. No, no, no, no. We got it. Okay. Your Shell fuel receipt earns you double rewards points at Ralph's. Well, all right then. Well, all right then. Fuel earnings are limited to up to 35 gallons per purchase. Offer valid through August 31, 2011 at participating Shell stations. See stores for details or go to... For a limited time, BMW will make your first three payments on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your local BMW center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash cpo for details. If you're looking for pure summer enjoyment, head to Albertsons. Their fresh produce is picked at the peak of flavor, then rush to the store for superior taste. Just add grilling favorites and bakery fresh buns, and you have everything you need to put together your get-togethers. Fresh summertime fun. You'll find it at Albertsons.

2:32:28This report, it's brought to you by In-N-Out Burger. In-N-Out Burger, where freshness isn't just a claim. It's a way of life. In-N-Out, that's what a hamburger is all about. In Encinitas on the 5 southbound before Lucadia Boulevard, there was an earlier accident. They've cleared it, but you do have a backup to Tamarack Avenue. A couple cars involved here on the 15 northbound at the 56. It's over on the right shoulder. And the 8 westbound before the 5, a multi-vehicle crash. It's over on the right shoulder. It looks like a little slowing, too. This report brought to you by Brandman University. part of the Chapman University system. It's a non-profit school focused on working adults. Visit brandman.edu to learn more. Brandman University, do better. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Just one day, if I could be Tom Brady. Lauren. I like it, why not? You like the arm kit? Yeah, it's manly. Woods. I love the breasts. Zienna. Drew Puppets is a classic. And Jay. Yeah, I shaved my legs one time. On FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is The Kill. Jared. Blood pressures. Hey, Garrett, who's this? Black cheese. Jeff Conway. Played Kaniki. Yes. In the movie Grease. Was in Taxi. Was in Taxi. Yep. He apparently has got some issues with substances. And he slipped into a coma May the 11th.

2:34:29left this voicemail as his last voicemail. Very sad. Don't know what it is. Don't know what he's on. Don't know if he's just drunk or don't know what the deal is. But the poor guy slipped into a coma May the 11th. And I don't know what the latest is on him, but I think it's really sad. So anyway, that's the latest. Jennifer Aniston got the Decade of Hotness Award.

2:35:32I mean, who could argue? Apparently she's a diver. She's a diver. Perfect 10, I think, is what he was trying to say. Right, because the diving was like a perfect 10. It's the fifth annual Guys' Choice Celebration, which is going to be airing on Friday, June 10th at 9 p.m. on Spike TV. And yeah, basically they just said, you know, she's a perfect combination of Hall of Fame hotness and humor that makes every guy wish she lived next door. Two other girls that have won, Holly Berry and Charlize Theron. Oh. Holly Berry. A couple little angels. Whatever. I could get behind that. That's not what I mean. Get behind them. That's not what I mean. Get behind that. Wow, that diving board was... That was a little thin. It's like... It must have been Jay's diving board. It's like the fake one you have on your, like a little display for your table. No, it sounds like... To me, it sounds like the kind of diving board that you buy yourself at Home Depot and install on your own. Which Jay did. Like plexiglass or something? Yep. Which Jay has done. Yeah, let's hear it. Yeah. And then you have to call a professional diving board company to come down. And do the regular. Put the regular.

2:36:47It's a professional now. Ray Lewis. Ray Lewis was talking about the NFL and what would happen with fans if the NFL doesn't happen this season. What we're going through right now, we're affecting way more than us. How so? Too many people live through us. People live through us. Yeah. Walking the streets the way I walk the streets. I'm not talking about the people who see all the time. People who work in stadiums. Yes. Fans. Yes. Yes. Who their livelihoods do this research if we don't have a season. Watch how much evil, which we call it crime, watch how much crime picks up if you take away our game. Why do you think that would happen? There's nothing else to do, Sam. Why is that funny, Woods?

2:38:00Why is that funny? What do you mean there's nothing else to do but commit crime? Why don't you go to the courthouse to the mediation? Why aren't you there? I'm not opposed to it. How's that not funny? He's a clown. How's that not funny? The games are once a week. How's that not funny? Because it isn't funny. That's funny. That evil and crime will... If we don't play football, crime's going to go up. Why, Ray? Because there's nothing else to do. Really? Once a week. But commit crime? Maybe in Encinitas there is. Maybe in Lucadia there's things to do. Maybe in the community of Del Mar there won't be crime if the NFL isn't played. Maybe Ray Lewis is talking about an area other than Encinitas, Lucadia, or Del Mar. Maybe he's talking about an inner city. Now, do I think he's right? Yep. Do I think that... Do I think that the problem is the NFL not playing their season? No. No, I don't. Ray does. I know. I know. And the goofy guy that was interviewing him said, are you going to go and talk about this? I mean, why haven't you called the committee? Right. And if I showed you my text right now, you can read my text when I text DeMarie Smith.

2:39:28What did you text? Tell me when you're ready for me to come speak. Because I'm not speaking about all of this. Oh, I want this. I want that. What did he say back? Oh, the time coming. Imagine that you go before the two sides and you say, listen, I know you guys are talking about making money as players and you're talking about making money as owners. I have something real serious I got to talk to you about here. You see, there's a lot of people, they invest their whole lives into the Baltimore Ravens. Their whole identity is the Pittsburgh Steelers. If we don't play this season, they are going to be bored. They are not going to have anything to do on Sunday. They're also going to be angry, by the way. They'll be mad. They're going to probably rob stuff. Maybe go play with your kids. I'm not talking about whether or not it's right or wrong right now.

2:40:31I'm not talking about what the people that he's talking about should do. I'm just talking about whether or not he may be right. No. Yeah, I don't think so. Okay, well, he knows people we don't. But I grew up outside of Philadelphia. The people that are packing those stadiums and packing those bars, they're people like... that don't need to commit crimes they're regular joes like all of us those are the people that are obsessed with football people that are out there that are gonna commit crimes are already committing crimes they're gonna continue to commit crime whether or not ray lewis plays on sunday yeah they don't care the argument of there ain't nothing else to do that's ridiculous ridiculous there's a thousand things to do what do you mean it's ridiculous it's it's absurd it's absurd when i listen that clip i go wait that's why i was laughing because when he asked him why ray Because there's nothing else to do. So for that four hours that you're watching the Ravens play the Titans, you're not committing crimes. And thank God that game's on because you were going to go knock off a liquor store. But now you may since the game's not on. It's absurd. I can see people getting mad, really mad that there's not going to be football and absolutely committing crime because they're so angry and they're so hardcore. And like Raiders fans, I mean places that... So they wouldn't have done it.

2:41:50No, they probably would have, but now they have even more reason because they're upset. Now, that doesn't mean... I kind of agree. I do agree. But I don't agree and say, and so you see, we better get something done so that football can be played. Right. That's not my point. Mine either. My point is, is that... I think that Ray's right that a lot of people's identity is tied up in the freaking Pittsburgh Steelers. Absolutely. And the Baltimore Ravens. And I think he's probably right. Absolutely. I will give you that. Hey, man, I'm as guilty as the next guy when it comes to my favorite team. Did you commit crime when there was a lockout? No, when there was a baseball lockout, I did not commit any crime. Well, I'm not necessarily talking about the guy that's a season ticket holder. I'm not necessarily talking about the guy that's down at the corner bar watching the game. I'm talking about a guy that you don't see. Yeah. I'm talking about a guy that, yeah, would commit crime anyway. And whose identity is tied up in a football team. And guys that Ray Lewis knows and has met. Now, as a group of people that don't live anywhere in that lifestyle.

2:43:13How do we go, no, no, no? Well, Baltimore is one of the roughest. I've been to rough parts of Baltimore. That is one of the roughest areas. But I think he's speaking for a pretty niche group of people that he thinks they're going to commit crime because he's not on for four hours a week. I mean, it's ridiculous. Well, I don't know. My whole beef is because there's nothing else to do. I mean, that's the absurd part about it. There's always other things. Why, Ray, will they commit crime? Because Sal, there's nothing else to do. Isn't there? I just think out of anger. For you. They would. For everybody. We can't speak for everybody. Well, that's the thing. I'm like, how do I know that the guy that he's talking about, I got nothing in common with. Absolutely. The guy that he's talking about, not only do I have nothing in common with. I can't relate to that life. I can't relate to that life. And so here we are sitting with our lifestyle going, how impossibly dumb. When in fact, we don't know anything about it. He does, by the way. He does. He knows those people. We don't. But as like middle class people, we can sit back and be like, that's absurd.

2:44:29It is. That's simply absurd. It is. That anybody would possibly be so upset over a four-hour game. It's a little egotistical for Ray Lewis. Yeah, it's a lot egotistical to think that his league is going to have an effect on crime. I mean, could it happen? Sure, dude. Sure it could happen. A tornado comes through here today. We don't know. The NFL has precedent of crime. Being committed as a result of so does the NBA. And what I mean by that is after championships are played, there's violence in the streets because they riot. And I'm not suggesting they're going to riot because there's no NFL season.

2:45:12But what I am suggesting is that maybe Ray Lewis knows something that we don't. And maybe he doesn't. That's true, too. I'm sure crazy fans have come up to him and said some pretty wild things that he would know, oh, my gosh, people are going to lose their minds. I'm going to go out and rob. Hey, I'm going to knock over a 7-Eleven. I don't think they said that. I don't think they said to him, hey, I'm going to go knock off a 7-Eleven if you don't play. And what's his basis? I think his basis is that he talks to people that are weird. He talks to people that are unstable. He talks to people that already commit crime. He talks to people that put their identity in his team. And he talks to people that are violent. And he surmises that these people, because of things that they've said to him, that are half-cocked, makes him go, oh boy, these people seem a little... I think, though, if you look at the general profile of people who put all their... All their identity into a sports team are not necessarily the same people that commit crimes. But I don't think we're looking at the general. Well, if he's talking about a small population. But those people can't afford to go to the games and be on the TV screen like the ones that we see. Maybe they can't. Right. That's why we don't see them. If it's a small niche, it's a small niche. It's a small niche that's not enough to make an argument because it's his opinion because he's got five crazy people that have come up to him. How many crazy people does he need?

2:46:39I don't know. I mean, seriously. 60. I don't know. 60? So if it was 58, would you go, well, that's not enough. Yeah, you'd be fine. Crazy people say crazy things all the time. I don't think it's going to be a big movement. Jay. Yes, sir. Did you have some? No, I'm just, I'm blown away that this guy thinks that during that four hours a week that he's going to control people from committing crimes. I mean, seriously? Let's see. M1, Pete from Claremont. Are you there? Go ahead. Yeah, I was just going to say, it's not really four hours a week because you have the Thursday games, the Tuesday games. But for your team. Yeah, for your Baltimore Ravens. We're talking about your team. We're just talking about football fans in general, you know. Well, he is talking about the NFL. In this context, he's talking about the NFL. Yeah, we're talking about the San Francisco fan whose team's playing on Thursday, you know, or, you know, the San Diego fan whose team's playing on Friday night or whatever. And then you have the ESPN shows that are on all week long, too. So that's kind of keeping people in the house and off of the streets. If we're talking about that niche of crazed football fans. All right. How about this? How about the dude that is a big Charger fan? Okay. He doesn't have a very good job. And he's the type of guy that would normally, he's got a record. Okay. And dude, he lives for Sunday. He lives for it. Sure. It's his identity.

2:48:07The Chargers. So on Sunday, the Chargers don't play. And he's pissed off. He's pissed at the NFL. He's just pissed. He's pissed in general anyway, this guy. So instead of watching football that day, he decides, I'm going to go to a bar. I'm going to go to a bar. And he has a couple of pops, and then he gets into a fight with somebody, and he gets arrested. Now, I'm just going to walk through a couple of questions, yes or no. completely out of the question no okay now i don't think it's out of the question either and i also don't think that it i also think that that's crazy of that guy and that guy's weird and i but that's not what we're talking about we're just talking about whether or not this is a reasonable thing that could happen

2:49:06Sure. I'm not talking about, so we better do something about it so that that guy doesn't do this. You're not on the pulpit. Right. So same scenario. Guy goes to the bar for his game. Team loses. Right. Now he gets in a fight. Right. He's angry. Yes. Same thing. So with that argument, then we shouldn't have football on Sundays because it's going to increase the crime. Because otherwise he would have stayed at home and not been in the bar. Again, my argument is not based on what we should do. See, that's where you're getting tripped up. No, no, no. This isn't a question of what we should do. It's a question of, is it possible? Okay. That guy who usually watches the games at home. Okay. Crazy football fan. Crazy football fan that watches the games at home. Same guy. Same guy. It's Sunday. Chargers Raiders. Yeah. He's at home where he wants to be watching his team. Exact same guy. The portrait you just painted. Yeah. His wife walks in and she spent. A lot of money. And he's not happy. He's an unstable, you said pretty pissed off guy. Yeah. And he beats up his wife. Right. Could happen. Could happen. Right. I mean, so what is football going to do to an unstable? An unstable person is an unstable person is an unstable person. What is football going to do? Right. Give him a lot of time on his hands. Four hours on Sundays. Right. And now, do we think that he's going to spend that time reading Shakespeare? No. He'll probably spend his time. Listen, that's why I said, is it a reasonable?

2:50:31that dude might go to a bar and have some pops. So we cater to the crazy? Again, I'm not talking about what we should do. I'm not talking about that. You're arguing the point. You're arguing Ray Lewis's point. We're all trying to go to this place of like, so that means we should do it. No, I'm not talking about what we should do. I just don't think it's a strong enough point because I don't think there's enough people that fit into that particular category that Ray Lewis is mouthing off about. Well, and I think that we don't know that guy. I think that guy does exist. I think that that is a reasonable thing. And my only point in bringing it up is that the problem is with that guy. I'm not suggesting that we, see, that's what I said. I'm not suggesting we do something about it and go, oh, well, then we should get back to playing. Got to get on the field. Got to get back on the field. Otherwise, you know, we'll have all these crazies out there at the bar getting arrested. That's what he's saying, though. I know he is. Right. I know he is. And he can whatever. But what I am what I do think is a big point to be made is that that guy exists. Oh, yeah. He is out there. Guy that has his identity in the football. And my argument is maybe don't have your identity in the football. Yeah, for sure. Maybe don't have your identity in the football. If you don't have your identity in the football, you won't flip out when the football ain't there. That's that's my point.

2:52:02whether or not we should do something about dude, whatever. You know, that's what Ray Lewis is saying. Ray Lewis is kind of kooky. M1 Frank from San Diego. Yeah, I don't think that is what Ray Lewis is saying. I mean, think about the thousands of people that, you know, every week are cleaning up at stadiums after the games and making money, you know, to feed their families, you know, selling hot dogs at the stadium or selling, you know, maybe the little guy owns a hat shop or something. Because there's no football being played. He's not going to make a living. And those are the guys that are going to have to go out and commit crimes in order to put food on their table. Could be. Well, let me say this, Frank. I don't believe that they have to. I don't believe that they have to. But if your point is that they might, then that is...

2:52:52Yeah, it's definitely a valid point. Again, it isn't a question of should they and what should we do about it. All we're asking is, is that a reasonable conclusion that that may happen? What the caller is saying, though, is that he's saying the people that are affected, not the players, they're the ones that are going to turn to crime. And that's a valid point. I mean, if a guy works at concessionaire, he's not making a ton of dough. And without the gig on Sundays at Charger Stadium, maybe he's the guy that's turned into crime. Maybe that's what Ray's talking about. But it's Ray Lewis. Who knows? And is that dude that would do that a nutball? Sure. Sure, he's a nutball. I think crime rates will go down. Oh, boy. Jay, you think that if the NFL season was not played, that the crime rate would go down? Less people boozing it up, getting hammered. That's a solid argument. That's actually... A solid argument. Probably a lot less DUIs. Testosterone. Dude. So, there you go. No football. You got less people at bars watching games. Less people drinking and driving from the stadium. I mean, they tailgate for nine hours out there. You know, they're not drinking lemonade. That's true. In fact, you might even, you might say to Ray, Ray, how many people walk into bars on Sundays in the United States of America? Lots and lots.

2:54:18And if the NFL season isn't played, how many less people will? That's a good point. Jay, just wipe out all professional sports. They just did it. Just done. Now we're not going to play the NFL season. There's nothing. I'd rather be playing anyway. I don't like sports. I don't like sports. Wait till we tell you what Schwarzenegger's kids tweeted. about what they're going to do because they're pretty pissed at their dad. That's coming up next. Mikey Show coming up in minutes. If you quit, it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Hey, Rip Van Biden. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. And? Call 570-1949. What a wonderful day it is for him. What a wonderful day it is for all of us. This is the Mikey Show. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9.

2:55:39It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Are sold out. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Triple Hops Rude Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubbies and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. Time is precious. Not the one day the baby's bored and the next day they're asking to borrow the car kind of precious. But the precious few days to get an amazing deal on a new Honda. Because the nine-day sale is now on at your Honda dealers of San Diego County.

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3:04:55United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. K, B, Z, T, San Diego. And now back to the Mikey Show. Mikey, Mikey. I enjoy Apple products. Lauren. I mean, I'm afraid of the dark still, but isn't everybody? Woods. I am a connoisseur of 7-Eleven. Sienna. I line up the animal crackers and see how many different animals there are. And Jay. When I used to go clubbing when I was young, I wore parachute pants and had handcuffs and bandanas. On FM 94.9. Arnold's what Schwarzenegger's son say on Twitter. I'll tell you in a minute. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, the proportion of children and teens in the United States who have developmental disabilities such as autism and ADHD has increased significantly. 17% since the 90s. Now, they think it's because, you know, parents are a lot more aware of it now. They're getting their kids tested younger, and a lot of parents probably weren't even testing their kids to begin with back in the 90s because they didn't know what a big thing it was. So, basically, that's why. Also, there's a shift. More premature births, growing use of fertility treatments, all of these are risks, factors for developmental disabilities. Can I pull the curtain back? Yeah. Sure.

3:06:32Now, I can tell you that this was hysterical because I have a kid with autism. Oh, boy. I think I know what you're going to say. I didn't even tell Rebecca. I would think about it over the weekend and laugh out loud. What? Jay on Friday. Oh, yes. He's been known to mess words up every once in a while. It was. the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. Yep, a year. He goes, he goes, oh yeah, a friend of mine just found out his kid's artistic and it's one of those things, man. Artistic? It was a joke. What'd he do? What'd he do? Did he draw a picture of Monet or what's he doing? Mike, I'm telling you, he went in his garage and this kid has easels and oral paints everywhere. And I mean, he found out his kid is artistic. I don't know what I'm going to tell him. I said, man, I'm so sorry. I don't know what he's going to do. He's like your son, Jake. He's artistic. He's artistic. Now, Mike does a good thing. Once a year.

3:07:48Raises money for artistic kids. Make all kinds of sculptures and stuff. Yeah, so that they can make sculptures. Sculptures. Which is sweet, man. That's all that matters is that. But still, my friend, he walked up to me. He says, my son just made a clay bust of my wife. And he's only three. And I held him in my arms and I hugged him. I said... And I patted him. I said, cry it out, buddy. That a boy. Your kid's artistic. He's going to be fine. He's going to be fine. Now look at little Timmy down the street. The kid that's always painting. He's autistic. He's autistic. All right. That's how that works. Oh, my gosh. That's how that works. Artism. Also the fourth. Oh, my gosh. Also on Friday was the release of the fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. On Stranger Tides made $90.1 million in the U.S., but where it really went big was, in Canada and other countries, $256 million. That Johnny Depp's artistic, isn't he? He always does some kind of artsy-fartsy movies. Edward Scissorhands and Gilbert Grape. Those kids with artism. And I know who ate Gilbert Grape. It was Mikey and Woods. Just look at them. Look at them.

3:09:12You may have had two Gilbert grapes. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, the weather for qualifying this weekend at the Indianapolis 500 was absolutely terrible. We saw a little clip earlier. They were like spraying water off of the course with these like giant, what do you call those things? Like rollers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Air pumps. But they finally got the qualifying down. The field of 33 has been set. And Alex Tagliani. Oh. He won the poll after posting the top qualifying run in the Fast 9 shootout on Saturday. The Indy 500 is next Sunday, May 29th. It is the greatest spectacle in racing, or as this one says, the greatest spectacle in racing. It's a little misprint in the news this morning. Also, Tiger Woods has fallen out of the top 10 in the world golf rankings since 1997. He is number 12. He has not won a tournament, you guys. In 18 months. He's pretty much a non-issue in tournaments these days. Karma's a B. Yeah, karma's a B. We'll get you. So Arnold Schwarzenegger's kid is upset, obviously, with the governor. And what has he done? So he went to Twitter, and I'll paraphrase for you. He tweeted this. Some days you feel like...

3:10:30Poop. Some days you want to quit and just be normal for a bit. Yet I love my family till death do us part. And then in the top, you know, where you have your name, like yours says name, Mike Esparza. Mine says name, Stephen Woods. He changed his from Patrick Schwarzenegger to Patrick Shriver. Oh, wow. Yes. And he is none too pleased about what his dad has done. Oh, it's terrible. Yeah, it is. That's terrible. If you're Arnold or you're Maria. Do you have a problem finding somebody new to be in a relationship with, or are you considered damaged goods? Both? Both. One of them. Who? Maria. She is? She's going to have a... Now, I'm not saying... I'm not calling her damaged goods, but I'm saying she's going to have a bigger problem than he would. How come? One of those double standards, I think, in society, man. You know, men... Arnold will be betting a new woman if he hasn't already. Soon. But why not the woman?

3:11:32I think it's going to be for her. It happened to her. It's going to take her a lot longer, in my opinion, to get over what's gone down. And so I bet it's a while until she steps out with a man again. A long while. Okay, but wait a minute. But do you see her in any way as a stigma on her? Yes. Okay, because that's what I want you to. Walk me through this. So you're a guy. L.O.B. gets cheated on. Why is there a stigma on her? It's not. I know that our relationship, it's going to be really tough to get it jump started because of her distrust for men. So immediately I have, I'm like, oh, she's got a wall up. And I'm like, I don't know if I feel like breaking down that wall because of what just happened to her. Okay. So guys don't want to date a girl that were cheated on. Because they don't want to deal with the issues that they have now. Yeah, and I think, you know, a lot of times, when anybody's cheated on, but I think especially women, I think there's a lot of distrust in all. The majority of people have been cheated on. Well, yeah, exactly. But I think, you know, if I meet LOB and she just got cheated on by her BFMC, Matt Commerce, and I want to take her out on a date, she's like, immediately, her guard is up. Immediately. And you know about it. You know it happened. Yeah, I know what happened. Yep. You would be a little reluctant because you're like,

3:12:54He's probably got all kinds of head case issues. Absolutely. That's me being honest. I'd be like, I don't know if I can do this. I never considered that. I don't know if I can do this. Until you said that, I never considered it. Now, a guy does not usually have that problem. Yeah, and especially if you're Arnold in this case, and you're the one that was out doing the philandering, you're like, well, here's the sad thing. He's not going to have any trouble finding a new girl. Yeah, because girls will date serial killers in jail. Absolutely. They want to be the ones that can change the guy. I can change him. Guys don't want to be that two girl. Right. So the cheaty gets victimized over and over again, I guess. Well, she's not going to be out there looking for anybody. No. She's not interested. I mean, when your husband has a kid with your maid, a 10-year-old kid with your freaking maid, how do you recover? She may never be with a man again. Yeah. Dude, they went on vacations together. How long? How long will it take, do you think? Never. I don't think ever. Should I? Dwayne never got over it. They say the formula is whatever the amount of time you were together, it takes half of that. But that formula is for any breakup. The half thing is for any breakup. Like you're with somebody for 10 years and you break up? Yeah, you just break up. Usually, and you were, you know, it was tough. You know, 10-year breakups, five years, they say, usually until that thing's out of your system.

3:14:24I'd buy that. It's half. Now, if infidelity is involved, and especially to this level. It's such an extreme level. When do you think that, what's Tiger Woods' ex-wife's name? Elin Nordgren. When will Elin decide, yeah, I'm back on the market? I think she's already dating again. Is she? Yeah, well, look at her. Yeah, look at her. No, no, no, no. I'm asking about her psychology. Yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah, we guys want her. I'm talking about her psychology. That one? Apparently it. A year? Two years? It's been a couple years. I don't know why that one's different for me. Because she got on board because he was famous. And so she kind of had it in the back of her mind that it was going to be happening anyway. I kind of believe Sienna. They weren't married long. M1 watchdog from Oceanside. Good morning, guys. Good morning. Hey, listen, man. You guys are always talking about Schwarzenegger. And, like, the most important thing about Schwarzenegger is that commutation of Nunez. Like, I understand that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

3:15:23Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The most important thing about Schwarzenegger is what now? Is the whole Esteban Nunez situation. The kid that was in jail. We talked a lot about it. We talked a lot about it. The guy's a joke. And the fact that California people put him in office, just amazing. So, I mean, if we're going to talk about him and waste time on that kind of a guy, at least use the right stuff. We did. We have. Over and over. We have. We have. We have. But watch, Doug. Unless you are really, really disciplined in your life. I don't know. I don't think I believe you. I think you're full of it. How's that? I think you're full of it. I think that you find the fact that Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Terminator, was sleeping with their housekeeper. Had a kid with him. And then a couple weeks later, Maria Shriver's pregnant. For you to say that that doesn't get you. That that's not scintillating to you. That that's not a tasty morsel. It's not. Yes, it is. It is too. It simply is. I'm not, listen. I'm not saying that you build your life around it. I'm not saying.

3:16:56that it's the number one issue in your life what i am saying is that it's more interesting to you than the nunez thing because i'm a guy that's very interested in politics i am i'm interested in politics and we did talk about the nunez yeah we did and we were all we thought it was ridiculous but even now when you said it i was like oh yeah because the truth of the matter is i'm a human being and the way that we're wired is that we go If I were to hold up a headline and the headline says Schwarzenegger cheats on Shriver with dot, dot, dot, or I hold up a headline and it says Schwarzenegger accused in Nunez case, dot, dot, dot. I simply don't believe that you go.

3:17:58I got to tell you. I agree. I got to get the Nunez. I have to know the Nunez story. I've got to have it. What is the Nunez story? I agree with Watchdog. I don't want to know. You only get to know one. You only get to know one. You only get to know one. You only get to know one. Sounds good, not true. Really? Sounds great. Sounds great, not true. This is exactly what you expect. Sounds great, not true. It sounds freaking. It's like. This is just common. This is what he does. He was groping. He was doing this stuff. I get that part of his life. What I don't get is when somebody who killed somebody. He's got a pardon. That's unbelievable. I know we talked about it. I'm not saying we didn't talk about it. What intellectuals we are. I'm going to get into some summer reading. I don't want to read the new Scott Weiland autobiography. I want to read Bill Shakespeare. You know why I want to read Bill Shakespeare? Because who's a better writer than Bill freaking Shakespeare? Not Scott Weiland. My dad said the same thing as Jay. He's like, I'm not surprised at all. Maybe we're not. I'm in here early in the morning and I'm with Sienna. And the other day when that story came out, did I almost not fall out of my chair? He did. And every single person, you too, Watchdog, has gone online to see what this woman looks like. Oh, absolutely. Every single person. You know what she looks like. You probably know her name. You know. You know. No, I haven't. Come on. Come on. How dare you? Trust tree. There you go, Watchdog. Honest cap. Trust tree. Honest cap. Put on the honest cap. Please. 100% true. How dare you?

3:19:25It's a chicken McNugget with barbecue sauce on it. And you have to eat it. Is she hotter than Maria Shriver? She has to be, right? You have to eat it. It's sitting there. You're like, God, I know that's bad for me, but I'm going to feast on it. Yes, of course. And, you know, it's like we're so intellectual. Oh, my gosh. It's not even being intellectual. It's just about, you know, we sit there. Isn't it? All of these stuff that's going on, gas prices, all this stuff. But we want to focus on his marriage. Yes. Yeah, because it's more valuable. Yes. What he did is in. Now, listen, there's been a million guys that have cheated on their wives. Every day. Dude, with the housekeeper that was in his home, like he's so brazen about it. And you know what else? He had a kid. More people can relate. Two days away from his other kid. More people can relate to Schwarzenegger sleeping with his housekeeper than can relate to Schwarzenegger. pardoning a killer. Which, by the way, is interesting. There's no doubt about it. But to play the don't we have more important things to worry about. You guys are the ones pleaving out. If people aren't interested in what you're interested, then they're trying to be intellectual. No, he's not. He's saying, why are you wasting time talking about

3:20:48absolutely crazy story instead of talking about his policy. Yeah. This is what we should have done then. That means this. That I should have gone, you know, you're right. I agree. You're a hundred percent. Listen. You're right. I don't know why we're talking about such trivial things as infidelity. In fact, you know what's important? It's the legislation that went down that provided Schwarzenegger with the opportunity to even be able to commute such a sentence. You know, if more people cared about Schwarzenegger and what he did during his term, which, by the way, he was a two-termer. I can't believe that we spend our time as Americans. I'm moving to Canada. We spend our time as Americans just sort of... Glamoring over such trivial, trivial things. I wish that we could compete with one another on radio shows, M1 Watchdog. I wish we could too. Me too. Listen, if you were taking the tactic of, well, ladies and gentlemen, today we are going to spend 20 minutes on Nunez. That's words snoring. So what you're saying is that our political agendas and the better the state of our...

3:22:21everything about that's a joke you would rather talk about somebody else's personal life than actually talk about what he did yes yes people would rather hear that yes but but it's like it's almost none of our business but if the taxpayers the rest of his agenda is our business and the fact that you guys sit there and make some plebeian joke about it or the fact that you're snoring woods It's like, at what point are we going to take our state seriously? Well, at what point are we going to take this show as a comedy show and not get up in arms about guys that are trying to be funny? Hey, forget the comedy, though. No, no, no. What about your Friday talk to people? That's why I wouldn't have said that. No, no, no. That's why I wouldn't have said that. I don't do that talk. Mike does. See, that's why I'm not going to get into it. It's not about that. It's not that we're a comedy show, because we're not just a comedy show. We talk about everything. We talk about everything. I love you guys, and I'm going to listen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, there's a deal. The reason, bro, is because we, as Americans, it's news. It is news. And you know why it's always been news? It's not tabloid. He's saying it's tabloid. It's on freaking CNN.

3:23:40No, it's not gossip. Because it's CNN, it doesn't mean it's tabloid. No, no, no, no, no. It isn't that it's, and I think the word that you're looking for is gossip. Okay? It isn't gossip. It's news. Yeah, fact. And it should be newsworthy. And I'll tell you why. Because when you're the governor of a state, to me, you're held in higher regard. Same as when you're president of the United States. You shouldn't be doing stuff with cigars in the bathroom with a waitress from Applebee's. wow this is the story that everyone is talking about and if we weren't talking about it then people be wondering why aren't they talking about it right more of a breaking news well and the truth is is that and i said this to our general manager last week all i do is talk about stuff that's interesting to me that's all i do yeah i just talk about stuff that's interesting it's interesting and for me to pretend that it isn't would be a lie it is It is interesting. I understand that. I'm super interested in it. And I don't like tap. I don't read people. My wife does. I don't watch stuff like that. My wife does. And we don't talk about stuff like that. And we don't talk about stuff like that. This one got me out of my chair. News story. And, by the way, I think the Nunez thing is interesting as well. Absolutely. And we touched on it. And we talked about it. And that's older. Yeah. Yeah. This is fascinating. It happened in our backyard here in San Diego. That's all. Sure.

3:25:00I think that sometimes you get shadowed because of the drama part of somebody's life. Who cares? You got to talk about Jesse. I don't, you know, it's like, at what point do we get off of that whole situation and actually talk seriously? Oh, when I talked, when we talked about Jesse James, it was funny. It made you laugh. It was a hundred percent. I'm not going to lie, but it's not a thing. Like he doesn't even deserve airtime, but that's just me. You know, my point is, is it's like, if we're going to focus on, let's, let's, let's actually. Do it just and just show what, you know. Hey, in defense to me, this is Jesse James, dude. I deserve airtime because, dude, I'm muscles, bro. I was a victim, dude. Yeah, dude. I was a victim living with Sandy. I lived with Sandy and she wouldn't even freak. I couldn't even use a ball gag. Yeah. Every time I tried, she'd be like, no. No nipple clamps. I miss congeniality. You can't nipple clamp me. And I'm like, fine, congeniality. It's your fault. She blindsided me. Actress. With everything in this country tied up in the court systems, I think we need a little more of this. The Mikey Show now. Shoot him a text. 949 at gmail.com.

3:26:43Call 570-1949. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Hold on to your hats! The new Ultra Titanium Credit Card is here! This credit card is supercharged! Earn double points, triple points on Monster Monday! Redeem your millions of points for kitchen utensils, yarn, airline flights with two layovers! What's the point of earning a lot of points or miles with a credit card if you can't do anything with them? There's even a coloring book devoted to the human pancreas! With U.S. Bank Flex Perch reward cards, we don't have to sensationalize things. Only 20,000 flex points earn up to a $400 airline ticket. $400? On over 150 airlines. Plus, each ticket comes with a $25 allowance for baggage fees, in-flight food, or drinks. $25? You heard me, Mr. Big Voice. Plus, earn quickly and redeem easily for travel, merchandise, or cash back for you or your business. Fantabulous!

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3:28:54First on the season finale of House, a controversial performance artist. You don't know which of my symptoms are real, which are fake. This is a puzzle made for you. Now you're just pissing me off. And a shattered relationship. House popped. You want to know how I feel? Send House spinning so out of control, there's no turning back. If Greg House steps foot in my hospital again, I want him thrown in jail. Then, the entire season of the Chicago Code. I got wide-tap surveillance photos of him doing business with known organized crime figures. I will fight this and I will fight you. Has come down. Did you kill my brother? To one stunning final hour. Jared, put the gun down. What are you doing? What? That will leave you breathless. Call every available sheriff now. It's the Chicago Code season finale event after the season finale of House. It all starts at 8 on Fox 5. Then stay tuned for the Fox 5 News at 10. It all starts tonight at 8 on Fox 5 San Diego. Time is precious. Not the one day the baby's born and the next day they're asking to borrow the car kind of precious. But the precious few days to get an amazing deal on a new Honda. Because the nine-day sale is now on at your Honda dealers of San Diego County. From May 22nd until May 30th, all nine Honda dealers are marking down their inventory.

3:30:12They're starting with a nice selection of some of the most popular cars in San Diego, like the Accord, the 2012 Civic, CR-V, and the all-new Odyssey. They're discounting these cars with once-in-a-year price and lease deals. And when they're gone, they're gone. The nine-day sale runs from May 22nd to the 30th at nine Honda dealer locations throughout San Diego County. To find the dealer nearest you, visit SDHondaDealers.com. If you're in the market for a Honda, we've got your number. But hurry, the nine-day sale ends May 30th. Circus Circus Las Vegas has fun for all ages. You'll be amazed by the world-class circus acts and the Adventure Dome theme park that features 25 rides and attractions. You can get your game on with over 200 carnival and arcade games. Save 40% off lowest rates and kids eat free. You'll also receive break resort extras like two well drinks, two premium rides, two midway games, and so much more. Visit CircusCircus.com for more information. Hi, would you like to try VitaFusion fiber gummies, the new better way to take your fiber? No, I like chalky fiber. I also like holding my nose while I drink a glass of water with stuff floating in it. Really? But VitaFusion fiber gummies offer five grams of fiber in each delicious sugar-free serving. They're great. I'll try one. Those are amazing.

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3:32:52I'm a nudist. Lauren. I did a lot of reading last night. Weird. Woods. I am the grill master. I can grill anything. Sienna. I'm not the neatest person in my house. Todd's definitely more neat than I am, but I wouldn't say I'm a slob. And Jay. I'll come over and help you cut a trench of concrete. On FM 94.9. Kind of gross. See where you stand on this. It's actually not kind of freaking gross. Woods plays in a semi-professional baseball. league. Correct. Semi-pro. Adult pay to play. That's more accurate. Mikey, it's the premier baseball league. Which means premier means better than average. As opposed to what is beneath the premier. Correct. Little league. No, that was a question. The little league. Exactly. Anyway, so Woods' catcher, Sean, was pretty hungry in between their games because they played a doubleheader. He was hungry, so guess what he decided to eat?

3:34:28Guess what he prepared? Guess what he brought with him? You know, because he knew he was going to get hungry. We had two games, and we got there at 830 in the morning, and I walked in the door last night at 5 o'clock. Long day of ball. We won both, by the way. Feast. This guy, Sean, broke out a can of chunky soup, opened it with a can opener, and ate it from the can, and then slurped down the juice. It sounded like this. He's holding the can. It was one of the pop top. You know, you can pop them now. And they go right in the microwave or whatever. No, microwave in the dugout. And you just hear him go, just cold soup. Ew. Please stop, please. I'm all in. Did it have that orange hard scab on the top of it? The gelatinous. The gelatinous orange. Pond scum. Yeah, the rust orange sort of hard. Like oil. Oil. At the top. Oil.

3:35:35When he opened it, I go, what are you doing? And he goes, what? He pulled it out of his bag, his baseball bag that we carry our gloves and bats. And I go, what are you doing? I go, do you have a little oven with you? And he goes, no. A little oven. Who has a little oven? A little easy bake or something. Hobos listening on their Walkmans just threw up. I don't find it disgusting. I find it strange. It's exactly what I said. You don't find it disgusting? Disgusting. L.O.B., it was beef stew. He had chunks of beef, and he was like, what? It's no big deal. Fantastic. J. J. Cold, chunky soup. Yes. All day. It's better than a lot of things. Yeah. Oh, sure. How about a sandwich? It's better than a litter box. It's better than feces, I guess. Yeah, it is. Have you ever heard of PB&J? Yeah, maybe make a turkey sandwich like the rest of us did. I got a Lunchable, okay? How difficult is that? I think he was eating good. The turkey sandwich. Maybe like grilled cheese. I don't know. I got a turkey. I got a turkey lunchable. That's what I ate between the doubleheaders. Even like open a can of tuna. You could eat that. That's not as bad. That's disgusting too. That's pretty filthy too. That's filthy. That's filthy. Dry tuna. Gross. But not as bad as cold. Filthy. Not as bad as cold beef stew out of a can. I looked at him. I go, dude.

3:37:00There's homeless guys that do just what you're doing. They grab it from Stater Brothers. They go out and they eat it in the parking lot. Because they have to. They have to. I go, you don't have to. They're trying to live. They want to live. They don't have a warm home like you, bro. They're not in pay-to-play baseball leagues. They don't have a sponsor that pays for them to play in the Premier Baseball League. That's gross. And he knew it was bothering me because you know me and my stomach. I went. And then he came up. Dude, when I say he came up, I was getting some out of my bag and I hear. And he's sucking the broth out of the can. I'm like, yum. You know it had like the carrot pieces that are cold. And beef. Chunks of beef and potatoes. It probably smelled. Oh, it smelled disgusting. All I kept thinking was him behind the plate catching. I was worried he was going to have an accident. What if he had a roast beef sandwich? It would be the same thing. No, it wouldn't. It's a cold sandwich. Easy, Alpo. That's disgusting. That's like opening a can of Alpo. Yeah, and eating it with a spoon. You guys are children. Like, if I was cast away in a...

3:38:15crate of chunky soup landed, I'd be like, son of a bitch, now I gotta figure out how to make fire. I'd be like, I have to figure out how to make fire. I can't eat this. I can't eat it until it's heated. Agreed. It's a crate. It washes almost short. I'm like... Well, I'm screwed. Does anybody have a match? Anybody have a Bunsen burner? I sure hope a Bunsen burner washes up because I ain't touching that. A magnifying glass? Anything. Zippo. It was hideous. 570-1949. What are your friends eating? It grosses you out. Jay eats sardines from a can. No problem. Opens the can of sardines and sticks them on crackers. Ew. Don't do that. Crackers. Crackers and mayonnaise. Love that as well. All of you guys eat egg salad. I once a year can eat egg salad. That's wrong with egg salad. Delicious. What's right with it?

3:39:18Farty. It's farty food. It smells farty. It makes you farty. It's farty. Same thing as deviled eggs. Yeah, but it tastes wonderful. It tastes pretty good. It tastes wonderful. Pretty good. Deviled eggs? Deviled eggs. Freaking delicious. Oh, delicious. Whoa. Same thing. Somebody make some deviled eggs. Please, Sienna, will you make some? They're great. I wish I knew how to quit you. They're so good. This is so good. Oh, did I tell you what Nita said? Nita, our Hungarian nanny. So, she's, we're talking about Hungarian, the difference between Hungarian men and men in California. And she says, these men in California, they have, uh... You have 30 seconds. 30 seconds. I can't do this break. I tried to help him this time. She did it. She was like, my internal clock is off. Mike, you got five seconds. Wrap it up, Debbie.

3:40:22I'll tell you. When we come back, I'll tell you. What she said to me. All right, I'm Gary Nanny about. And I, like, she was throwing men from California, well, from the United States under the bus and mentioned a quality, I have. Skeletor, that's Terminator's wife. Think you got something worth adding to the Mikey show? At 949mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now, 570-1949. I don't like how this is already beginning. FM. It's almost here, and it's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite. Sunday, June 5th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Ten great artists on two stages and one wandering ombre playing swampy, heavy-sounding blues. Performing at some point. I wanna see you. At the softback, heavy and performing. Are sold out.

3:42:17Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness to win tickets. FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion presented by Triple Hops Rude Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Independence Jam is also supported by Grubbies and Los Tacos. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside. It's often said that actions speak louder than words. And what better example than car and drivers take on the BMW 3 Series? They not only named it to their 10 best list again this year, but they did so for an unprecedented 20 years in a row. Is it because it's faster and more powerful than the Audi A4, Lexus IS250, or the Mercedes C300? Or because BMW includes no-cost maintenance, saving you thousands over other brands? Or because it delivers a joy that only the ultimate driving machine can? It's time to let your actions decide. The test drive of a 3 Series today. Claim based on published 3 Series sedan and competitors 0-60 in horsepower. For ultimate service details, call 1-888-311-4BMW.

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3:44:25Or using your Cox remote control by tuning to channel 501 or in HD on channel 798 after 5.30 p.m. on Saturday. Enjoy the fight. Hey, Rhino here. Welcome to my habitat at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Oh, look at that zebra. You ever just like stare at one? Mesmerizing. Oh, there go some humans on that flight line. Your species is crazy. Ziplining over the entire savanna. Buzzing my head like a condor. Oh, man. I wish you could see this. Mama gorilla carrying a baby like a backpack. Dang, girl, he ate school supplies. Oh, check it out. Humans on a caravan safari. Hey, get a picture of my horn. If you guys get any closer, we're going to have to exchange vows. Or just feed me some apples. I'm cool either way. I'm a rhinoceros. Animals are at home at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Come explore their habitat on our flight line, caravan, or a variety of other safari adventures. To choose your safari, visit SanDiegoZooSafariPark.org. And experience the sights and sounds of an African festival during African Extravaganza, July 2nd through August 21st, only at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park.

3:45:35We're back, and the folks at McDonald's drop by the studio. With the new jalapeno cheddar McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and the new cheddar onion McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and from the looks of these beauties, $1.49 is a real deal. I see your jalapeno cheddar McChicken has melted white cheddar, and is that hot jalapeno salsa? Oh, wow, spicy. I did not see that coming, McDonald's. Oh, and the grilled onions on this cheddar onion McChicken are incredible. Big, cheesy taste. Hey, switch with me. I like a take-charge man. I like a lady who's... That was so tasty. You got a little cheese on here. That's not cheese. It's an onion. Price and participation may vary. Try McDonald's new frozen strawberry lemonade from McCafe. Tangy frozen lemonade mixed with a sweet strawberry swirl is a refreshing icy treat. New frozen strawberry lemonade starting at just $1.69 now at McDonald's. Cue a rooftop pool. Cue the cuties. Cue a DJ. Any DJ, but not a French house music DJ. Cue the unintentional double backflip belly flop. Cue the sympathetic eyes from the pool full of cuties. Cue the other guys lining up to do a double backflip belly flop.

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3:50:23I'm hungry for her. I'm hungry. Face to this. How is it that a guy is able to make so gross? One syllable. Maki, don't you call her your au pair to see her? I'm so... I want to leave. That's disgusting. So creepy. Anyway. So, she was talking about how men from Hungary are very... And that she hasn't found someone here in California to her liking. And I said, well, what is it? And she goes, they have the tattoos and they have the things in their ears, like the big round earrings in their ears. She goes, and they have the crazy hair.

3:51:41And I go, what's wrong with tattoos? And she goes, and she goes, no, she did not. She doesn't slink away from anything. She'll tell you. She goes, in Hungary, man with tattoo, you know, he is. Murderer or he's in the prison. Rapist. You know, or he's in the jail or this stuff. And he is, you know. Dangerous. He's a dangerous. Criminal. Pretty much same thing here. Yes. You know. Bad guy. Villain. Willin. Yeah, Willin. He's not a person you bring home to mom. Mike, this is you. Yes. Mike, it is like your mirror. A light similar to your mirror. Becca is very brave for bringing you home to her mother. If I had come home with men your size or with a tattoo, my mother would call police to have me rescue.

3:52:56But that is just me. Well, me and every woman in Hong Kong. That is Europe. In Europe, women don't like to date the murderer or the rapist or the prisoner or like here in California, you know, where it is so popular. Everything goes. The vandal, the wandal. Yeah, like a wandal. You look like Wanderlust. In my country, first of all, people are usually taller than toddler. Adult. Adult. He's bigger than toddler, you know? And then... They work out. They exercise or do a walk or something like this stuff. Or... They are... Usually, you know, if they have tattoo, it is only because they are in prison. They not so much dress from head to toe in how you say Tommy Bahama. Not so much in my country. Fast food. You know, Mike, what I don't understand about American humor is why.

3:54:27They make stuff up about the person when it does not apply. Except when it applies every single time. Except when the mattress on his bed is even Tommy Bahama. It's amazing. In my country, only the women will wear coconuts on their breasts and only for costume parties. Only the women will drink the virgin pina colada from Tommy Bahama mug. Only women buy a case of paper umbrellas just for anything. Mike, why do they say at your work that you like... Tommy Bahama when you don't. Don't you, in fact. Because you don't, Mike. You don't wear Tommy Bahama. You don't not wear Tommy Bahama. The people at work know that Mr. Bahama comes over for Saturday dinner. Special fittings. Very special. That's brilliant. Tommy's got to bring a lot of fabric.

3:55:44He's a tent maker. You bought a sheet to make a shirt. Yes, Tommy Bahama hot air balloon. Major pants. That's how they made your pants. Of course, they had to take it out a little bit. So it would fit. So I guess tattoos are not a big thing. So is she on the dating scene or what? No, I mean, she just hasn't found, and she said that, you know, she's talking to her mom about it. Her mom said she had a theory. She wants to go back and she's got plans for being back and the whole thing. She's got a place there, a car, the whole bit. And so her mom thinks that she's purposefully not finding a guy. Treat yourself while you're here, you know.

3:56:39I almost threw up my mouth. We need to find her someone so she doesn't go back. That would be great with me. Santa said, is it going to be sad when she goes? You will see a grown man cry. She's awesome. My wife will cry. Jay will cry. Get it? Mike, do you know what I mean by mmm? Do you know what I meant by those three M's strung together? I meant I'd like to do things. When we were at your house for dinner that one time, he goes, he goes, where's Nina's room? What a creep. Yeah. He's so creepy. He did. He goes, where's Nina's room? I just want to smell the pillows. I just want to lay in her bed. Just want to use her toilet. So great.

3:57:46I just want to go through her trash. Take a piece of hair out of her brush. Oh, wow. I could make Anita doll. Get it? Anita doll. This bar of soap touches her skin. Oh, she tastes so good. Oh. Is it all right if I just smell her sandals? I'm going to wear this necklace because it touched her. Yeah. He's like, guess where this came from? Mike's holding his shoe in his hand and smelling it. Don't smell these handles. He's drinking Pellegrino out of it. You know, he's a lot of talk on the air, but you get that guy in front of people and he's all of a sudden Mr. Nice Guy. Hey, how you doing? Can I help you fix your flat tire? How are you? Hey, y'all.

3:58:47Hey, y'all. Very pleasant to meet you. Let me know if there's anything happy with you. You need help? Oh, man. Oh, M1. Chris from Oceanside. What's up? Hey, what's up? What's up, dude? First of all, I just want to say thank you for making me laugh so much. You're very welcome. I got a six-pack now. I don't even have to do ab crunches anymore. Hey, Mike, maybe you laugh some more. Maybe we'll get you some Richard Pryor cakes, Mike. That's the other thing I was going to say is when you guys roast Jay... And I can lightly hear him kind of giggling in the background. It just cracks me up. You know, and that's the thing. Like, do we really roast Jay? Oh, all the time. But Jay comes from him. But the stuff that we say is like making fun of us. Yes. You know what I mean? And you know what? I'm a few years younger than him. I mean, it's like we were both in the Civil War. I was...

3:59:45That's right. So you're 220. Yeah. Well, what's up? What can we do for you, Chris? Nothing. Just keep making me laugh. I just want to say I love the show. Thank you, bro. God, I hate that. He corrected himself. He corrected himself, and he didn't have to. We got it. Yeah. Thank you. We love you, Chris. Love you, too. Thanks, man. Hillary's in the studio. Hi, Hill. How are you? I'm great. I was listening to you talking about tattoos on the way in and how in Hungary that means a whole different thing. And I was laughing because we have a really good family friend from Japan. And I have a big back piece and I have a half sleeve and stuff. And every time. I see her. She tells me, in Japan, like, you cannot go to the hot springs. You can't be in a bathing suit. She's like, no, not when you're with me, at least. Culturally, just in other countries, tattoos are not what they are here. Yeah. You know, and I was trying to figure out, well, where did it come from? Where did it come from? Where did it go?

4:00:56I think it came from rock bands. A lot of Pacific Islands. That's where tattoos actually start. Well, no, I don't mean their origin. Sailors. But, you know, they became very popular. Yeah. Yes. I think it was rock music. Yeah. I think. I don't know. Punk music. I think Jay's right. Sailors going over to the other countries, bringing them back. Yeah. He needs a little anchor bit that says mom. My dad has one. Yeah. It's rad. Anchor that says mom. It's rad. Yeah. That's awesome. They all got him in the 50s. Big player. He's a huge player. Maybe we'll bring it back. In? No. Hillary, what do you have coming up? I grabbed the new Foo Fighters record, the new Fleet Foxes record, the new Death Cab for Cuties, some Band of Skulls and Radiohead, and maybe some Beastie Boys. Here we go. Lovely and Talented Hillary is up next, and we'll come back tomorrow at 6 and do it again. The Mikey Show is out. Late. FM 94.9. It's about the music.