The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/24/11
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Joplin tornadofailed rapture predictioncamping foodgraduates moving homerunning jokesSkyline deathsschool dance kindnessdomestic assaultsocial media disciplineCasey Anthony triallegal insanityOprah farewell
Mikey, Sienna, Jay, Woods, and Lauren O'Brien moved between the devastation in Joplin, Harold Camping's failed rapture prediction, and a breaking report of multiple deaths at a Skyline-area home. Nick's request to move back in after college produced the show's biggest argument: Mikey emphasized adult responsibility and entitlement, while Jay and others favored a firm but supportive 90-day landing place. Sienna then laid out the evidence and unanswered questions in the Casey Anthony case, which led Mikey and Woods into a sharper dispute over legal insanity, institutionalization, and execution. The lighter bits centered on Jay's gourmet camping plans, Woods's immortal cheesecake mishap, J. T. Thomas taking Jocelyn Lavelle to a school dance, and the crew's ridicule of Oprah's extravagant farewell.
What happened, in order
Joplin tornado
Sienna and the crew described the Joplin tornado's 117 deaths, near-200-mph winds, enormous width, and destruction of roughly 2,000 buildings.
Rapture rescheduled
After May 21 passed without a rapture, Harold Camping claimed Judgment Day had happened invisibly and moved the world's destruction to October 21.
Jay's gourmet campout
Jay unveiled an improbably elaborate camping menu of bacon-wrapped shrimp, enchiladas, pineapple pancakes, and upside-down cake while the others mocked his wilderness routine.
Can the graduate come home?
An email from graduating student Nick sparked a long argument over whether his parents owed him a temporary room or whether expecting one showed entitlement.
Jokes that never die
Woods relived shattering a wine glass while yelling about cheesecake, and the crew traded stories of single embarrassing mistakes that became permanent nicknames and running jokes.
Skyline deaths break live
The show aired a breaking report from Monica Dean as police investigated several people found dead at a Park Creek Court home, including a victim reportedly found in the pool.
A rookie's generous date
Chicago Bears rookie J. T. Thomas took 14-year-old Jocelyn Lavelle, who has spina bifida, to her middle-school dance after other boys had turned her down.
Vinnie Vincent arrested
Former Kiss guitarist Vinnie Vincent was arrested after his wife Diane accused him of a bloody assault, and deputies found four dead dogs sealed in containers at the home.
Facebook threat suspension
The hosts backed a five-day suspension for a 13-year-old who posted that she wished Osama bin Laden would kill her math teacher, rejecting her mother's complaint that the punishment was excessive.
The Casey Anthony case
Sienna reconstructed the month-long delay in reporting Caylee Anthony missing, Casey Anthony's invented babysitter story, the trunk evidence, and the prosecution's problems proving a cause of death.
Oprah's arena farewell
The crew mocked the worshipful tone of Oprah's United Center farewell, including Tom Cruise's tribute, while conceding that her charity and cultural influence were substantial.
People mentioned
MikeySiennaJayWoodsLauren O'BrienHarold CampingNickMonica DeanJ. T. ThomasJocelyn LavelleVinnie VincentDiane VincentOsama bin LadenCasey Anthony
37,013 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Welcome to call in 570-1949. Jay going on a business trip later today or... I don't know that I've ever seen Jay wearing... Oh, that's a pearl snap. For a second, it looked like a business attire, you know? It looked like some sort of business, you know? You meant business. Business. I got another company to sell, so... That's right. Yeah, I'm wheeling and dilling. I already sold my wife my old company. Isabel Productions. That's right. My eight-year-old is interested in my other company. I'm going to talk to him. I got a meeting with him at his elementary school. That's right. In the clubhouse. Know what's funny? He ain't got no representation. I'm going to stick it to him. I'm bringing my lawyer. You don't have a lawyer. He is so screwed. So foolish. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. And I have a sore arm. Yesterday, I went with my wife. We did what most husband and wife do to spend time together. We went for Manny Pettis. Oh, that's what I thought. I couldn't get a manicure because my nails are too short, but I was able to get a pedicure and a shoulder massage. That was me when she asked if I wanted to. She asked? She did.
It was her suggestion. And I took her up on it immediately. In fact, she gave me options. She gave me two choices. I could either do that or go have lunch. And I chose the pedicure. That's weird. I felt sick yesterday. Like I was coming down with something. I just wanted to be babied. Me too. And there's nothing like an Asian lady to talk some smack. You're married. You know that, right? I think Jay was going a different way. Yeah, I do, too. I think so, too. That sounds familiar, Mac. Ain't like I ain't never heard that. Hundreds of times. You know what it means? It means, Jay, you are awesome. All right, baby.
Like you wouldn't believe. So, yeah. And the lady was giving me a shoulder massage, neck massage, and she started to massage that area where Jay punched me. And it took me a long time to tell her. Not to. Yeah. And finally she said, why not your tummy? And I said, oh, it's okay. She said, what about the arm? I said, it's fine. So she just switched to the other arm. You want to see a picture of the J-Punch when we were playing Dead Arm Duel? Just go to our Facebook page. Just go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. And you see the picture of J's damage. Mind you, that was Friday. That's Friday. Gosh. You're just fragile. I am. Maybe I'm fragile. No, you didn't. I did.
Woods is our sports guy. He is 35. He's got a cool Kings of Leon t-shirt on today. I like this one. It's a good one. And he is from Texas. Went to school at Holy Cross. Loyola University. And Loyola. And Texas Tech. Yeah, I didn't know that. Didn't know you went to Texas Tech. Went to TCJC Junior College as well. Look at you. A lot of colleges. Tried to see as much of the country and our academic institutions as I possibly could. Well done. Thank you. Well done. Mission accomplished. Lauren O'Brien went to a small school. James Madison. Relatively. Relatively small. 16,000 undergrad. Yeah, that's not your typical. It ain't like UCLA, you know. But it's a smart school. I know that. Relatively. Again. I think I asked you that when we met. Yeah. I said, I've heard of it. I said, isn't it good for academics? And you said yes. Now, you may have been just blowing smoke. It is, but I'm sure there's plenty of people out there that are like, plebeian. I've never even heard of it. James Madison, please. Good Lord. It wasn't even a real president. Yes, that's where I went to elementary school.
He was really small, James Madison. That's right, he was. Abe Lincoln, he packed a punch. That's right. Wasn't as small as Mikey, though. No one's that small. No, he was smaller. No, please. Like, that's possible. Mikey is very, very small. You should have seen him when he was born. The doctor couldn't tell whether it was a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage. That's a good one. I got you, Mike. That's right. Little sausage. You little pork sausage. Well, L.O.B. is 30. She's blonde, and she's a comedian. Sienna is our news girl. She is 26 years of age, auburn-haired, and married to a former minor league baseball player named Todd. Jay is our producer. He is 47. He has quite a dirty sense of humor. It's true. And he is our friend.
And he likes to camp. A lot. Doesn't even make sense. I was camping. He uses a pogo stick when he goes camping. Yeah. Apparently, his tent is set up on springs. Yeah. We got the tent pole. Got it. Get it, Mackie. Pigeon a tent. Pigeon a tent, boy. Oh, boy. Get it. Too bad. I can explain it. I'll explain it. All right, Mack. Hold your sensible ears. I'm going to explain pitching at 10. You guys know what tomorrow is, right? It's meeting day. I'm already looking forward to it. All right, Mike. Here's what we're going to do. Nude camping with the M1s. What do you think? Yeah. All right. How about we make an M1 baby? I already know of a nude colony. We can rent it out. Get some baby making. That's right.
No protection allowed. Now don't freak out. Don't freak out. Fine. Let's get t-shirts made. No protection allowed. Great shot. Right to the baby maker. Our phone screener is Chris. It's Chris! He's back from Las Vegas. And he went there for a wedding, I found out. A family member got married, so he's back. Nice to have him. 570-1949. I feel like my voice is not very woke up today. I feel like I'm... A little scratchy. Yeah. You're under the weather. Try your throat coat. I'm a little under the weather and I'm on Vic's Dayquil. You know? And I don't know what's going on with me. Vocal cords are still a little sleepy. I think so. I'm trying to wake up and I'm trying to get over this stuff. Kids ever get you sick?
I said that earlier on Facebook. I was talking about kids and germs. Kids are the germiest. My kids are just germy. Everybody's kids are germy. They're a little Petri dish. That's why I don't like. Don't get upset if you're listening. That's why I don't like to go to soup plantation. Because I feel like every kid in the United States of America goes to soup plantation. And you know what they want to do? They want to serve their own soup and salad. And they put their little Petri dish hands full of. cold, and mocos, and flu. They put it all over the little tongs. And then you put it all over the tongs, and then you wipe your nose and your face. My wife loves soup plantation. I call it flu plantation. But she loves it, so I have to go. But I just wrote yesterday on my Facebook status, kids ever give you germs? And people put some pretty funny stuff. M1 Roberts said, you have a giant slimy spot on the middle of your chest yet? You get that one? My daughter does that bit. I do. When you hold a kid, an infant, up to your chest, they just put this big spot of slimy mocos. What do you call mocos? Boogers. I know. Boogers? See, boogers, though, to me, boogers are hard, and this is like the... Snot. Snot. Snot. My mom always called it mocos growing up. But they put the big snot circle on your t-shirt. That doesn't bother me.
at all. Sweet. Oh, it's so opposite of sweet. That's a mom thing. It's nice. And when Scott said, ever go through that every year after year after year after year? Get used to it, buddy boy. You'd miss it if it were gone. Yeah. Maybe, but I'm telling you, he's right. He's right. Every year. Yeah. M1 Lydia said vitamins in a neti pot. I have rinsed my nose with a neti pot three times since yesterday. You're kidding. Shoving water up my nose with saline salt in it to try to get everything out. How about this one? M1 Adrian summed it all up. Life with kids is coming down with something, having something, and getting over something, and then repeating it. And she's right. Wow. She's right. You have about a two-week period where you're just normal. After that? You're getting stuff from your kids. And then Michael said, all the time, bro, we all fall like dominoes once it gets started. We all fall like dominoes. Dominoes. Okay, so the word of the day is diaper, believe it or not. Diaper. I said to my wife the other day, I go, somebody poop in the living room? What? She goes, what do you mean? I said, I believe someone, and not a cat.
A human. I said, I know cats. I said, I think a person went doo-doo in our living room. And she goes, really? And I said, yeah, come here. So we walked in there and she goes, it does smell like some meat pooped in here. Turned out, diaper genie. Diaper genie. You know what diaper genie is? No. It's a canister. Trash can that you put a diaper in and then you twist the top of it. You know why you twist the top? To keep the smell in. That's right. You need the new one. You know what, Sienna? When you get 400 diapers in there, it's 12. You keep it in your living room? That's strange to me. Maybe put it in the garage. Yeah, maybe put it in the garage. You ever have twins? Put it in the garage. Kids room. The garage? Yeah.
Why the garage? So when you have the doo-doo diaper, you walk out, you open the garage door, pop it in the garage. But the point is to have it next to where you change them. Yeah, you got to have it next to where you change them. You do? Yeah, because otherwise you're leaving the kids to go throw it away. That's a good point. You got to keep them right in front of you. Yeah, when I change fake diapers, it's the same bit, you know? Stop it. I throw them in a fake garbage can. No. Woods just looked at me, and then he nodded his head like, mm-hmm. True story. Woods was going to adopt a child. It fell through. The way he deals with it is to make jokes like that. Makes us uncomfortable. Have to do it. Come out of our skin. I mean, we're coming out of our skin. We're coming out of our skin. Yeah. It's all right. 570-1949. Mikey Show. Who's this? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Oh, I know why they're calling. I know why they're calling as well. I already blew it. Nice. It's the second day in a row, Sienna. I love it.
It's good. I forgive you. It's the second day in a row. I blew it. They're not going to not listen just for the word of the day. Shouldn't count why you're still talking about the word of the day. I know. But he broke his own rules. I broke my own rules. Dang it. I like it. Reward them. I like when you break the rules. I'll reward them. I'll reward them right now. We're going to talk about the tornado, which is huge news. I mean, huge. This is as bad as it gets in terms of tornadoes in this country. What about... Joakim Noah? Joakim Noah. Joakim. You hear it a million different ways. Joakim, Joakim Noah. Yeah, plays for the Bulls. He's a center. Good player. Good player. So we'll tell you about him. What he did, he called fans something very derogatory. He said to apologize. The preacher that said that the rapture was coming on May 21st, well, he made his first public statement. And it's weird. Weird. And then what do they find out about that French now ex-IMF head that allegedly raped the maid at his New York hotel? We'll tell you in just a minute. M1 Tina from San Diego, what was the word of the day? That's right. Well done. Thank you. And then I said diaper genie, so you are a winner. Hang on the line, okay? Hang on. It's going to be one of those days, I can tell.
My brain is clouded with cold medicine. I'm already off the rails. I'm already all over the place. Very hard for me to focus. I know. Sometimes fun. Sometimes a little frustrating for our girl, Sienna, because it's her job to keep me on track. And she's like, what are you going to go anywhere you want? I'm going to put you on a leash. I'll just edit the schedule. It'll be okay. That's right. Joplin. Where is Joplin? Missouri. Joplin, Missouri. All right, this is awful. By 8 a.m. this morning, Eastern Time, the death toll had reached 117 people were killed in this tornado, making it the single deadliest tornado since the National Weather Service began keeping records 61 years ago. Oh, wow. Yes. Now, this tornado is believed to have been an EF... which is the second highest rating on the scale. Wind, 190 to 198 miles per hour. I've never heard of that. Me neither. I've never heard of that. It also was so big at times, it reached three quarters of a mile wide.
Yeah. Whoa. They're saying, I was watching the news last night and just looking at all of the awful footage saying they said about 2,000 buildings were destroyed. I mean, you see just entire neighborhoods completely wiped out. I mean, this thing was deadly. I mean, it was awful. Yeah. This is crazy, man. Now, this is inside a convenience store. And this tornado is coming right up to the convenience store. All it has to do is get close, and you can hear it. You can hear the people inside this building. I think we're going to do it. Pure terror. Wow. Sounds like Wood's trying to get a donut. Oh, wow, that's not funny. Too soon, James. Too soon. Yeah, it's way soon. You didn't even finish the clip. Yeah. It's a strange place to come in with that one. Interesting thing is nobody will get upset at that. No, in fact... They'll go on Facebook and say it was maybe the funniest thing they've heard. They've ever heard. Ever. I would get killed. You would get murdered. You would get murdered in LNB. Sienna, you would get killed too. Jay is just hysterical. Yeah, he's going to be nominated for the Democratic election. He's the new nominee. After the show, Donald Trump will call him and congratulate him for such a great line. Yeah.
Wonderful line, Jay. Wonderful line. Thank you. It's Gary Busey. Hey, Gary. That's a hell of a line. Thanks, man. That's a hell of a line. Jay stands for just asking. Yippee. Just asking, y'all. Yippee. I saw a video last night on TV and there was a... a few dozen people that ran into a grocery store in Joplin when the tornado was coming, and they went into the big freezer area, the walk-in freezer, and you see the video, and it's black, and even in that freezer, bolted shut. I mean, people are in there, and stuff is flying around, and it's insane. I haven't seen any footage of the actual tornado ripping through. I haven't seen it. You can see the tornado from far away. They have all kinds of footage, yeah. You guys know me. My TV is practically always on Nat Geo. Always. And, of course, in typical Nat Geo fashion, they've already produced a full hour-long documentary on the craziest tornado season in history. Of course. This, what's going on. And they're showing this footage, right? And they wait until the last moment of the promo to show you the best they have.
And so they wait till the last moment. And as it's fading out, you see what Sienna was describing, a three quarters of a mile big tornado in high definition. And it's terrifying. Terrifying. So I guess global warming is not happening, right? Well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Why? I mean, look at all the weather that's going on, all the craziness. Yeah. What does that have to do with it, though? I think that all the stuff we've done to the planet is finally coming back to haunt us. Oh, scientist. We'll probably agree, though. Aren't you? I'm a scientist. M1 Cave Dweller from Wisconsin. Good morning, Mikey. How are you guys doing? Good. I'll post pictures, but Sunday afternoon and evening, an EF-1 tornado landed about nine blocks away from my house and walked two miles through town. You've got to tell us what that is, though. What's an EF-1? The EF rankings are basically the intensity of the storm. The EF-4 is the second strongest kind of tornado you can get. It's like the hurricane category. Well, EF-1 doesn't sound that bad to me then. It doesn't sound that bad, but I'll send you pictures. The tornado walked basically one block north of our house, and about 200 feet away from our house, two trees were completely uprooted.
We had one house. We had a couple houses that were completely flattened. And then a store probably three blocks away from our house had a roof collapse. That's in Wisconsin, right? Yep. Dude, they don't get tornadoes in Wisconsin typically, dude. Is that common? We do a little bit, not too much. But there's an old Native American kind of staying. that says where three rivers and three bluffs meet, they'll never have a tornado. And that's here. So maybe there is something to the whole global warming thing. I don't know. Thank you, bro. Joaquin Noah. Yeah. What'd he do? Well, he plays for the Chicago Bulls. He's a center. They're in the playoffs right now. And basically, he went on the attack of a fan and called him a fag. And that... why did he go after them a fan said so okay this is what he says he said the fan said something that was disrespectful towards me and i went back at him got it on camera i don't want to hurt anybody's feelings anybody that knows me knows i'm not like that i'm an open-minded guy but you know the fan was they paid their money they can kind of say what they want that's kind of what one of his teammates said listen they pay their money they can yell at you all they want right you can't
You can't go to their level and yell back. No, you're not supposed to. And so he's been fined $50,000. They were talking to him after the game, after, you know, they basically said, hey, we got you on camera. You know, I got caught up. A fan said something, and I said something back. I apologize. You expect to get fired? I don't know what's going to happen, but, you know, I got caught up. I don't mean no disrespect to anybody. I just got caught up. It's not exactly true, Joaquin. You did mean disrespect. By definition, you meant disrespect, but you're sorry. Yeah, and so he's been fined $50,000. And what's interesting is Kobe Bryant said the same thing to an official and got fined $100,000. What's the difference? Well, they're saying, listen, Kobe's fine included discipline for verbal abuse of a game official. So not only did he say that word, but he also did it towards an official, which you can't verbally abuse the officials. I guess you can verbally abuse the fans. I guess. If you like. Okay, so Harold Camping is the guy that said that the rapture was going to happen Saturday. You know, which is a joker move. Guy's a clown.
He's a clown. He's 80-something years old. He's got it wrong before. He said in 94 there was going to be a rapture and that on that day Christians would disappear because they're going to be raptured to heaven. He's a clown. Well, he said it again. He said that people were going to be raptured this last Saturday and, you know, I had a sandwich that day. I didn't get raptured. I had a few. You know? Weird. And so he says there was going to be a rapture on Saturday, which didn't happen. Then he said that there was going to be something else that would happen in October, like the end of the world would happen in October. Well, obviously, people want to know, what did this clown say after nothing happened? What do you have to say then? I'll play you his comments when we come back. And by the way, wait till you hear how many prisoners California is about to release. Little Sunshine has a temper sometimes, but he's not all bad. Mikey. He's a real beef castle. 940.com. What? Mikey's show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. If a car drove by recently that made you point and say, how cool, what is that? Chances are you spotted the all-new Ford Fiesta, quite possibly the perfect car for San Diego.
Yeah, it's a pretty big deal. Sure, Fiesta's a compact car, but you don't have to compromise a thing. You'll get up to 40 miles per gallon on the highway. Hey, there are 21 hybrids that don't get that kind of MPG. Seriously, the interior looks like the cockpit of a Learjet. And it's quiet. Spooky quiet. If you dig technology, you'll dig this car. Fiesta's available with hands-free sync. Say a command, and it'll dial your phone or play your favorite tunes. You're going to want to show this car off to your friends. And feel free to brag about what you paid. Fiesta starts at just $13,320. So stop pointing, wondering, and wishing. What is that? Just come into any San Diego County Ford dealer and drive one. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com. EPA estimated 29 MPG city, 40 highway, 33 combined. Hybrid claim based on automatic SFE versus 2010 and 2011 hybrids. MSRP excludes tax, title, destination, and registration fees. Optional equipment not included. See dealer for details. The Ultimate Fighting Championship presents UFC 130. Fresh off a win over Lyoto the Dragon Machida. Former light heavyweight champion and MMA legend Quentin Rampage Jackson is back to take on the man who smashed Tito Ortiz, Matt the Hammer Hamill. Also, former heavyweight champion Frank Mir prepares
Bud Light presents UFC 130, Rampage vs. Hamill from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Saturday night, only on pay-per-view. Visit UFC.com for details. Or using your Cox remote control by tuning to channel 501 or in HD on channel 798 after 5.30 p.m. on Saturday. Enjoy the fight. We're back, and the folks at McDonald's drop by the studio. With the new jalapeno cheddar McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and the new cheddar onion McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and from the looks of these beauties, $1.49 is a real deal. I see your jalapeno cheddar McChicken has melted white cheddar, and is that hot jalapeno salsa? Oh, wow, spicy. I did not see that coming, McDonald's. Oh, and the grilled onions on this cheddar onion McChicken are incredible big cheesy taste. Hey, switch with me. I like a take-charge man. I like a lady who's...
Cut to commercial. McDonald's new spicy jalapeno cheddar McChicken and savory cheddar onion McChicken. The simple joy of cheesy deliciousness with spicy jalapeno salsa or grilled onions. Just a buck 49 each. That was so tasty. You got a little cheese on your... That's not cheese. It's an onion. Price and participation may vary. McDonald's and SeaWorld have teamed up again to give you the summer's best discount. Now adults and kids can save $20 on a single day admission. Visit your local McDonald's today for details and get your exclusive SeaWorld discount coupon. I've never seen a bingo night like this. Ooh, check out Norman breakdancing. I didn't even know he could walk. Go, Norman, go, go, go. What's gotten into everyone? I spiked the punch. With what? Frank's Red Hot. I put that s*** on everything. Frank's Red Hot sauce goes on anything. Its aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to tacos, pizza, wings, pasta, chicken, steaks, fries, sausage, chili, and it'll liven up any party. Frank's Red Hot sauce. I put that s*** on everything. Cue a beach on a perfect summer's day. Cue a twin-sized lounge. Cue the twins. Cue the twins rubbing sunscreen on your shoulders. Cue the camera phone. Cue the updated profile picture. Cue the immediate 318 friend requests from 318 guys. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Huebline Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the trademark owner.
This report, it's brought to you by McDonald's. It's back. Quench your thirst for less at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of 42-ounce icy cold soft drinks. Only 79 cents. That's a lot of refreshment for very little change. We're heading on the freeways this morning. Looks like we've got some backup on the 5 southbound at Washington Street. It's a car that's stuck at the top of that on-ramp. Also, the 78 westbound, some delays from the 79 to the 15. And as you make your way on the 67 northbound, expect some slow traffic from Mussey Grade to the 78. This report also brought to you by Big O Tires. At Big O Tires, you can purchase four select Goodyear or Dunlop tires. Save up to $80 by a mail-in rebate. Plus, you can trade in your old tires. Get up to $100 back. Save big at Big O Tires. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. The Mikey Show with Mikey. There's a lot of guy stuff that I'm not into and a lot of chick stuff I'm pretty into. Lauren. You guys, I'm a middle child. I need attention. Woods. You know what my wife's number one complaint about me is? My clothes. I leave my clothes scattered throughout the house. Sienna. La Jolla is my favorite bubble. I don't want to live anywhere else. And Jay. My kids' friends are always afraid of me. On FM 94.9. Scratch the record. All right, so this is...
It's a lot of editing. It's Tupac. There's Harold Camping. He's the preacher that said that the rapture was going to happen May 21st. And it didn't. It didn't happen. And so millions of dollars, by the way. Idiot. They spent millions of dollars putting up billboards all across the country here in San Diego. I mean, everywhere. A lot of that donated money. Yeah. They had 20 RVs plastered with the prediction. I mean, and this was all Family Radio International, which is where he works. So what does he say when it's all over and all said and done? On May 21, 2011, we didn't feel any difference. We didn't see any difference in the world. But we know from the Bible that God brought Judgment Day to bear on the whole world. The whole world is under Judgment Day. You jerk. And it will continue right up until October 21, 2011. And at that time, the whole world will be destroyed. Oh, boy. Douchey guy. How many months? Five. Let's live these next five months, you guys, like it's our last. Well, you're always supposed to.
You're supposed to dance like no one's watching. That's right. You're supposed to carpe diem. You're supposed to love like you've never been hurt. You're supposed to do stuff that Celine Dion would say. Yeah. You're supposed to do stuff that Patti LaBelle would encourage. Billy Ocean. Whitney Houston. Al Jarreau. Oh, man, you got me with Al Jarreau. Where do I go from Al Jarreau? You don't go anywhere. You know that. XIMF head, that French guy. Dominique Strascon. This guy is a piece of work. Yeah. He's a piece of something. There were some reports out yesterday that DNA belonging to the former International Monetary Fund head, Dominique Strascon, was found on the maid's uniform. The maid was in the hotel. She's the one accusing him of sexually assaulting and trying to rape her. Now has a lot of proof. Now she does. And you guys may want to know this. It was also reported that he...
made passes at two female concierge the same day. He grabbed and massaged the hand of one of the ladies when they checked him in. And he called downstairs later asking a different concierge to his room saying, quote, come upstairs. I've got a beautiful room, a great bottle of wine. And both women declined. What a creep. He asked the first one up to his room as well. What's wrong with that? I mean, it's just an offer and ain't doing nothing. He's trying to romance. That's kind of romantic. You know, back in the 40s, that would have been considered romantic. That's right. Now you're a damn criminal. Hey, when I lived in Paris when I was a kid in 1621, that was the kind of thing we did all the time. Boy, I can't tell you how many ladies' hands I've rubbed and massaged. Massaged. That's right. His wife, the IMF boss's wife, Anne Sinclair, she's kind of like the Barbara Walters in France. She has this really popular blog that she writes. It's a French blog. And she's been writing for years. It's called Two or Three Things Seen in America. And she has canceled it. She says, I'm sure you know why. I'll see you soon. Oh, wow. Yeah. By soon, she means not coming back. Right. Au revoir. Au revoir. So this is not.
the best news in the world, California is going to release a lot of prisoners. Yes. Yesterday, a divided U.S. Supreme Court ruled that California needs to reduce its prison population by 33,000 inmates. Must be fun to do that when you're not living in California. Just do it from across the country. I know. Yeah, why not? Well, there's severe overcrowding, and it's exposed inmates to increased violence, disease, and even death due to how many people are in there. So the state of California now has two years to comply, and they need to basically just transfer inmates to local jails or release them. Now, my guess is that they're going to release the guys that are in there for stuff like... pot. The non-violent. I just hope that there's 33,000 of those guys because that's how many they're going to let out. There very well may be. That's part of the reason they're reducing the penalties for pot because of the overcrowding. Yep. Well, 33,000 is a lot of prisoners. A lot of prisoners are going to let out. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. Let's see.
Listen to this. Jay is going camping this weekend. Weird. She calls it a weekend. This is what his menu is going to include. Menu? He planned a menu already. Well, here's the deal. When you go camping, a big part of it is the food. Barbecued chicken, baked potato, bacon wrapped shrimp, pineapple pancakes, cheese enchiladas, pineapple upside down cake. That's what he's going to have. Holy crap. Can I go? You still have to sleep at a tent. Go to the local grocery store and get, like, burgers and dogs. Yeah, hot dogs. Why would I go to a local store? I'd be right there at the campsite. Where we're camping, you're not right near the store. I know. You've got to hike in 45 miles. 45 miles. Mile. 45 mile. I'm just reminding you how much better you are than me. That's all I was doing. I ain't going to the store, Lauren. That's all I was trying to do. Why would I go to a local store? It's a long drive.
I grew it myself. That's fascinating to me. Yeah, why would I do that? I can make a chicken. So, Jay, are you going to pre-make all that stuff, take it with you? No, I'm going to make it there on site. You're not making enchiladas over a campfire? No, I'll do it in the little barbecue pit thing I have. Make metal tray. You put it in indirect heat with foil over it, and it heats it right up. What do you do during the day? I'm going to ride my bike like a crazy fool. Who are you going with? A bunch of people. A bunch of bike riders. Bunch of bikers. Bunch of bikers. We'll get drunk, experiment. Ain't no big deal. That's what we do. We drink whiskey and we just do stuff. That's all men. Yeah, it's a group of guys. Guys being guys. I'm going to wear my no protection allowed t-shirt. Exactly. Double use. It's a bunch of families. What do the kids do during the day? Get lost. Ride bikes. Run through the trees. Kids get lost. Run through the trees. Fish in the stream. So we can act like adults.
Get poison ivy. Get lost. Hey, kids, y'all go fishing three miles away. Y'all take a hike, literally. Take a hike. All right? Get your juice boxes and get... Get your pre-sun that I paid $3 for and get the hell out of here. I didn't pay $4.25 for that high sea to just sit there and drink itself. I'm going to make love to your mama now that you hit the road. I'm going to make love to some mamas. I'm going to pitch a tent, if you know what I mean. Let's play, can you find your way back to camp? We're going to play Survivor under the under 12 version. I'm going to drop y'all in this stream. You got to find your way back. All right. Get out. Just voted y'all out of the track. All right. Y'all can just figure it out. Y'all ever seen Lord of the Flies? Y'all eat each other. Get. Cam. Get over here, girl. Come here, baby. No, Mikey's not here. You can't put his head on a stick. Not sure. Not sure.
Lord of the Flies. Oh, gosh. It's my friend Jay. He is something. What's going on with airfare? Have you guys priced any tickets? No. Is it gas? Is that the deal? I think so. A lot fewer flights going, too. Every flight you go on is overbooked. Todd and Sienna were trying to book a flight to Pennsylvania for the summer, and she said the best deal they could find was $800 a ticket. The plane was going to change three different times. Oh, my God. Dude, my dad wanted a round-trip ticket. To Tucson from San Diego. That used to be 200 bucks. Yeah. 450 bucks a person. I'm like, what is that? $900 to fly him and your mom to Tucson. It's what, an hour flight maybe? Yeah. Maybe. What's going on? It's awful. I don't know. We didn't buy the tickets. I mean, and now that's what time it is. It's the summertime where people are going to want to fly. What a beating. It's a major beating. But anyway, if you're flying, just know it.
That's what's going on. It's got to be gas prices. Yeah. L.O.B. was looking for... She gives a caveat before she tells us this. She said that she was looking for something mindless to watch on Netflix and stumbled upon keeping up with the Kardashians. Good choice. She's like, hey, it's like... When a girl takes a picture of herself on Facebook of her in a bikini and says she was bored. What? Do you know what I mean? Like, are you sure you were bored? Or maybe you wanted to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians. It came up as a suggestion for me. So why watch it? Because I was like, what's this all about? You know what it's all about. You know exactly what it's about. Well, I knew, obviously, it was a reality show about the Kardashians. I'm not an idiot. And? And it is. Mommy-like? It was enough to keep me going. I've watched four episodes. Oh, my gosh. L.O.B. It's a great show. The Kardashians ever date black guys? Yeah. What is the idea of the show? There's not much. It's really just their kooky little lives that they run into because they're famous and they get...
crazy offers and they have busy schedules and they have catfights. I've never watched. Just giant asses real good. I've never watched it. I watched Chloe and Lamar yesterday. Just jock sniffing. They have their own reality show now. It's like Joanie loves jock. She's a spinoff of Happy Days. Now they have Chloe and Lamar. Lamar. The Lakers. It's a great show. She's the most boring one on them. No, she's great. She's my favorite one, Chloe. Really? Yeah. No wonder he didn't play worth an S in the playoffs. Got that to go home to. Kim Kardashian's making news again because she's going to be in some sneaker ad for Skechers. And, you know, what she's famous for is being sexy with a big butt. A big butt. Giant butt. But, you know, I think that she would have been famous anyway for being a model. She's a very pretty girl. She could have been a model, in my opinion. She's beautiful. No? She could have been, like, maybe like a print model or something. Yeah. She could never be a runway model. No. She's like for runway models. She couldn't be like Paris Hilton. Woods. What? She's like for Kate Moss. Yeah, for sure. She is not. She's just too short. Sienna just put her sweater over her head. Why? Because you just insinuated.
Oh, don't give me that, Woods. She probably weighs 120 pounds, if not. She is tiny. Woods just gave a look like, yeah, sure, right. She's like five feet tall. Oh, she's short? I thought she was tall. If Kim Kardashian walked in this room, you would fall to your knees. Yeah, absolutely. I don't know about fall to my knees, but I think she's a pretty girl. She has, her ass is the size of my suburban. It is nice. It is too. I've shown you pictures. I'm so jealous. I just watched her reality show. It's not. That's why Skechers chose her, though, because the shoes are, like, the shape-up shoes that are, like, rounded on the bottom. It's good for your butt. Yeah, Woods. Do you think that Skechers chose her because she's a big girl? Do you think James Gunn would be like, what are you, buttershy twirl? Oh, dude, he could make a sale. from that skin. Oh, my God. He could. She's not. From her butt skin. Look at Sienna. See a wetter over the face again. She's going to kill you. I'll show you guys the pictures again. Woodsy. Oh, yeah. It was just a big deal. She's got a big rump. That's what I said. That's all I said. But you insinuate like the rest of her is large. It's not. Her boobs are big. The rest of her is perfectly in proportion. Yes, she has a very big...
but raise your hand here if you've seen her naked woods jay and sienna ella b and i have not all right so feast so you're saying that you can take pictures from bad angles and not only that video well the camera adds 20 pounds and she is way smaller now than she was then ah fair enough her sisters the episode i watched her sisters were smacking her butt saying where did your butt go it's very uh High intellectual. Highbrow. I'm dealing with fools and trolls. She's a pretty girl, though. I'll give her that. She seems like a pain in the butt. Get it? No pun intended. Hey, yesterday some guy was up on a pole in downtown San Diego and he was blocking traffic. The cops had to try to coax this guy down because he's hanging out on this pole.
And they had to try to coax him down. Yeah, it was a homeless man. It happened yesterday morning around 6.35 a.m. And it ended around 8 a.m. He finally climbed down. But he was yelling that he was going to kill people. And then he was shouting that he wanted to be killed by the police. I mean, it was crazy. They shut down traffic. He had his shirt off. This guy jumped off a diving board while he was up there? What? Yeah, Jay. played a sound effect of a guy... You just have to ignore Jay sometimes. ...jumping off a diving board, and so I... He got really high up, and he bent over, and his feet almost touched the ground, and he... Yet another one Jay will slide on. Of course. Talking about a mentally unstable homeless man. He's 27 years old. It happened sixth in market, and he finally came down, and he was taken to the county mental health offices to be evaluated. Well, that's good. I'm over Zach Galifianakis. Was a big fan. Liked Zach Galifianakis. Yeah, I thought this one may get you. I thought this one may get you. Well, he came on and he was, you know, for the legalization of marijuana on Bill Maher's show a while back. And then he brought, you know, as a joke, he like whips out a fake joint jerk. Yeah. And smokes it. And I'm like, yeah, whatever. So last night he goes on Bill Maher and he does this thing where he's,
Pretending to do heroin because, you know, and I don't know. My thing with Zach is, you know, Zach, sometimes, you know, heroin addiction just isn't that funny. Right. But sometimes meaning ever. Yeah. You know, sometimes shooting up horse just isn't that funny. Right. Bill Maher is the one that took out the tray. Yeah. Yeah. Another one of Mike's favorites. Bill Maher. He and I were. We'd be great roommates, wouldn't we? You guys would be the best roommates. Imagine Bill Maher and I on just a long drive across the country. Would pay a ton of dough to listen to that audio. I interviewed him one time. Did you? I didn't know his bit, though. Yeah. I didn't know what he was all about. So I interviewed him and it was, you know, there wasn't much to it because I didn't know. Now, you know, I would love to talk to him now. So Galifianakis, what did he do? Shot up water? No, he probably just pretended. Yeah, he had the needle. It said that there wasn't a lot of needle action going on. But, you know, he tied off to his veins. Oh, my God. And then he what's this? Zach Galifianakis curses out January Jones. OK, so she apparently went on to say publicly that she thought he was so funny. And when he was asked about meeting her and why January Jones is saying.
you know what did you do that made her so funny and he says well it's really crazy because if I remember correctly she and I were very rude to each other they were out at a party and they'd never met and she apparently called him to come sit at her table and they talked for like 10 minutes and then randomly she's like okay I think it's time for you to leave now and he said so I say January you are an actress in a show and everybody's gonna forget about you in a few years so effing be nice and I got up and left and apparently she thinks that's funny Who's January Jones? She's one of the hottest women to walk this earth right now. She's in Mad Men. She's in Mad Men. She's unbelievably gorgeous. So basically he says that she was just really rude and he tried to put her in her place. I'll ask a question that my four-year-old Jake asks every day. What color hair? Blonde. Okay. I'll show you a picture at the break. It's a very pretty girl. What color hair? It doesn't matter. If there's a song on the radio, Jake will say, Daddy, who is that? That's Taylor Swift, son. What color hair? Blonde hair. He likes blondes. Love blondes. I wonder why. I think all those boys will go for blondes. Yep, I agree. 570-1949 is our number. Let's see. President Obama is Irish. As you know, he's our first black president, but he's also Irish. Did you know that, Woods? I did not. Yeah, he was letting everybody know.
His maternal great-great-great-grandfather was Irish. Barack Obama of the Money Girl Obamas. How to say Obama's one of us in Irish land. To claim him we'll use his mother instead of his Kenyan dad. Though his name was problematic. It's not Irish like Shaughnessy. So from now on, we'll scum are using Irish. I had that t-shirt, my friend. Yeah, you did. The O apostrophe bomber. There you go. That's awesome. So he went to Ireland. And they take their own vehicles to Ireland, don't they? I think sometimes when we go to other countries, we will take...
The presidential limo with us. Smart. Air Force One is gigantic. Hey, you don't go to Hertz, you know. No. You don't rent. Rent like a Kia Sportage or something. Exactly. To take Barack around. You still have to drive on the left there. Yeah, you do. That'd be weird. Well, sure. But you take your own vehicles and the vehicles are not necessarily retrofitted for Ireland. They're retrofitted for the United States. And so speed bumps there are different than speed bumps here. And so this is what you're about to hear is a crowd reacting to seeing Obama's limo coming in, getting very excited. And then the next sound that you'll hear is the limo bottoming out into a speed bump. Irish flags on the vehicle and everything. I'm sorry about that. I didn't realize we were going to. Bought them out there. Sorry about that, Mr. President. I don't know what happened. That's okay. Maybe we...
Send somebody out to measure speed bumps or something. Well, that's a little ridiculous. Is it? No, it looks totally ridiculous, doesn't it? What are you, Prince or something? No, I'm not. I'm the president of the United States. That sounds like something Prince had me do one time. Yeah, well, at least Prince didn't bottom out his limo here in Dublin. Well, that's true. I was going a little fast, but I don't know. Yeah, by a little fast, you mean you had a couple of Guinness and decided to drive me to the airport? You didn't. Fair enough. He did, actually. Even pictures. He did. Yeah. When in Rome. When in Dublin. When in Dublin. This is the deal. I got an email from you. Or, yeah, it is. It actually is from you. And there may be some disagreement. We'll find out. But here is the gist of this email. When you graduate, when you graduate from high school, are you gone? Or can you come back? And... If you do come back, what kind of rules are your parents allowed to lay down? And what I mean by rules is, are your parents allowed to say, or does that make you a bad parent? We'll find out.
Presented by Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste Greatness. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Leaky Lee. Peter, Bjorn, and John. Band of Skulls. Everest. Performing on the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodile. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. And performing wherever he can plug in. Low Volt. You can't buy tickets. but we will be giving some away. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness. A special thanks to Grubbies and Los Tacos for helping to support this year's Independence Jam. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside with FM 94.9. Time is precious. Not the one day the baby's bored and the next day they're asking to borrow the car kind of precious, but the precious few days to get an amazing deal on a new Honda. Because the nine-day sale is now on at your Honda dealers of San Diego County. From May 22nd until May 30th, all nine Honda dealers are marking down their inventory. They're starting with a nice selection of some of the most popular cars in San Diego, like the Accord, the 2012 Civic, CR-V, and the all-new Odyssey. They're discounting these cars with once-in-a-year price and lease deals. And when they're gone, they're gone.
The nine-day sale runs from May 22nd to the 30th at nine Honda dealer locations throughout San Diego County. To find the dealer nearest you, visit sdhondadealers.com. If you're in the market for a Honda, we've got your number. But hurry, the nine-day sale ends May 30th. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why? Because as a small business owner, it's more than your job. It's what you love. and you need technology that keeps pace with your passion. That's why Verizon delivers all the wireless solutions you need to make sure your business rules. Verizon technology gives you the power to enable growth and boost productivity because only Verizon offers an arsenal of advanced devices, powerful business apps, and mobile security safeguards, all backed by unrivaled customer support and the fastest, most advanced 4G network in America. More small businesses choose Verizon Wireless than any other wireless carrier because they know. a small business with the best technology, rules. Now get the lightning-fast Thunderbolt by HTC for only $249.99. No rebate required. Exclusively at Verizon. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com slash smallbusiness, or call 1-800-BZW-4Biz. Requires new tier activation and data pack, early termination and other fees apply. Preference results based on third-party study. Mother's cookies will always remind me of Grandpa's house. Or better yet, leaving Grandpa's house.
When I was little, we had family reunions at his place in Santa Maria. And at night, we'd sit around the living room, and my aunts and uncles would retell outrageous old stories, usually at the same time. That's when Grandpa would give me the signal, and we'd slip out for a drive to get Mother's cookies. We both loved the circus animals for the pink frosting and the way the round sprinkles crunch on your teeth. On the way back, Grandpa would take the long way home. And we'd eat cookies and listen to nothing but big band jazz and the sound of the ocean. I know it's simple. But Grandpa and I both liked simple. And now, at every family reunion, that's the story I like to tell. Over and over again. Mother's cookies. There's a memory in every bite. Hey, Rhino! Welcome to my habitat at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Oh, look at that zebra. You ever just, like, stare at one? Mesmerizing.
Oh, there goes some humans on that flight line. Your species is crazy. Ziplining over the entire savanna, buzzing my head like a condor. Oh, man. I wish you could see this. Mama gorilla carrying a baby like a backpack. Dang, girl, he ate school supplies. Oh, check it out. Humans on a caravan safari. Hey, get a picture of my horn. If you guys get any closer, we're going to have to exchange vows. Or just feed me some apples. I'm cool either way. I'm a rhinoceros. Animals are at home at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Come explore their habitat on our flight line, caravan, or a variety of other safari adventures. To choose your safari, visit SanDiegoZooSafariPark.org. And experience the sights and sounds of an African festival during African Extravaganza, July 2nd through August 21st, only at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. He's the summer in Las Vegas. Catch the return of Salim Dion, or dive into pool parties at Ditch Fridays at Palm's... or Marquee Day Club at the Cosmopolitan. Enjoy concerts on the beach at Mandalay Bay. And when you work up an appetite, enjoy outdoor dining on the patio at Mon Amiga, be it Paris. Get to Las Vegas and live the joy of summer before it's too late. Life is short. Summer is shorter. Start planning your getaway today at visitlasvegas.com. Lone tire. Overheated engine. Empty gas tank. There's mayhem on the road. That's why you need roadside assistance.
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Prices and participation may vary. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. My colleague is speaking double to share some great news from Shell and Ralph's. When you fuel up at Shell, take your receipt to Ralph's and get double rewards points when using your Ralph's rewards card. And double rewards points means faster earnings. Yep. Let me repeat that for emphasis. No, no, no, no. We got it. Okay. Your Shell fuel receipt earns you double rewards points at Ralph's. Well, all right then. Well, all right then. Fuel earnings are limited to up to 35 gallons per purchase. Offer valid through August 31, 2011 at participating Shell Stations. See stores for details or go to www.ralphs.com slash fuelpromotion. Miller Lite is proud to once again be presenting FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion at the Oceanside Pier on June 5th. Great beer, great responsibility. Triple hops brews Miller Lite. Tastes greatness. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Cause Band, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, or visit SoCalMB.com. This report brought to you by Allstate. Full service insurance at self-service prices. Your local Allstate agent makes it easy to get the protection you need. Save money, too. Are you in good hands? We've got some closures here. Claremont Mesa Boulevard in both directions between Mercury Street and Russner. It's closed to through traffic until about 8 a.m. doing an investigation there. 5 southbound Washington Street, a disabled vehicle. It's at the top of that on-ramp. And as you make your way through the 5 northbound, expect some slow traffic from Via to San Ysidro to Palomar Street.
This report also brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Lawrence. All I want is equality. Woods. I don't want to snowboard anymore because it hurts my knees. I'm going to ski. I'm a dork now, right? Sienna. I am not Beaver's fan because I'm president. And Jay. Try to exercise at least two or three times a week. On FM 94.9. We're going to disagree about this email, that's for sure. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, do you guys remember about a week ago I told you about a lawsuit coming from a San Diego woman? Her name is Denise Keller, and she thinks that...
Games in Chuck E. Cheese are like illegal gambling devices and are going to hurt children and teach them bad behavior. Well, she has now dismissed her lawsuit from federal court so that it can be refiled in Superior Court. The whole purpose of the suit is to get rid of illegal games in San Diego County, focusing on Chuck E. Cheese. Anna may have asked for $5 million. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Also, it's a huge night tonight. The biggest night of the year. Why? Sienna. American Idol finale. Oh, wow. Tonight at 8. It is only an hour, and you need to know that it's tonight because the entire season, it's been on Wednesday night, but they moved it. Tonight, it's Tuesday. The result show is going to be tomorrow night, so 8 o'clock tonight on Fox. Who's the people? Scotty McCreary, who's 16. He's a country singer. And another country singer, 16-year-old Lauren Alaina. They're the two youngest finalists ever, and they're really good. Seemed to be like in a little relationship if I were two. They voted off the hot girl. They got rid of Haley. She was pretty hot. She was hot. Even I knew that. What'd she look like? What color hair? Curly. Dirty blonde. Dirty. Oh, curly colored hair. Dirty blonde. Curly, dirty blonde. Dirty blonde. Dirty blonde. She would always talk back to the judges if they critiqued her. She'd be like, no. It drove me nuts. I hate that bit.
Oh, I thought you said bad words. I hate that beat. Mikey, I hate that bit. Yeah, I was like, just be graceful and smile. Come on. I hate when those kids, they don't know nothing, and they're like, well, you know, I think I... Do you? How many records have you produced? How many records have you sold? Do as you're told. She was very snotty. Feast. Maybe listen to Professionals in a minute. Yeah, Professionals. Sorry, if you're just tuning in, I'm all hopped up on cold medicine. I'm really on one today, literally. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, a federal judge has rejected the NFL's request for more time to file a response in the pending lawsuit filed by the locked-out player. Unpack that for me. Well, that is a blow, basically, to the... God, now I'm thinking about it. It's a blow to the league because... They want more time to file their response. Basically, what it comes down to is it's another tactic that's going to stall this thing for another month or so, pushing everything back to around the beginning of July, July 6th. So they're going to have their retort to the players lawsuit filed by July 6th now. I think I'm done. All right. Well, listen to Jeff Pash. Jeff Pash is the lead negotiator for the NFL, so listen to him.
I think everyone should be concerned because time's passing and we need to be getting back together and working this out ourselves. Right. And he also followed it up with this. I've thought for a long time that the focus on litigation and court dates is not a path to a solution. That what we have to do is solve our problems ourselves. I've been hearing this for weeks, right? Same bit. I said this the other day. Training camps start at the end of June, beginning of July. If we're not in training camp, then I'm out. I'm mentally out. Now, I reserve the right to change my mind like a woman. Like a what? Like a woman. Women reserve the right to change their mind. So do I. Daily. All right? And so I might change my mind on that. I'm really going out there on that one. But... You will change your mind. You know damn well when... When you see those bolts run out of the tunnel, you're all the way back in. Real hurt, sad, and fearful. For a little bit. Yeah, right now it's very tough. And speaking of hurt, sad, and fearful, the Padres lost again last night. They are 8-19 at home. They lost 3-1. St. Louis scored twice in the ninth off of Heath Bell to win 3-1. And they actually...
sent down Will Venable, whose 28-year-old right fielder was supposed to be the leadoff guy this year, supposed to really come into his own. They sent him back down to the minors. So the shakeup is beginning. And I wouldn't be surprised, my man, to see guys on the trading block, what is it, May 24th, in about three weeks. Well, you said Bud Black took him aside the other day, sat him all down, had a meeting with him, said, hey, this stuff can't continue. Right. Didn't have an effect. They went out and dropped another one three to one. So it just sucks, man. Everybody had a lot of high hopes. And, man, every game they lose are just falling further and further in the cellar. So listen to this email. Wanted to get your opinion and hopefully some advice on how lame my parents are being right now. I'm graduating from college next week, and my parents won't let me move back in with them. You'd think they would be proud of what I've accomplished, but they won't even give me my old bedroom. for a few months. I wanted to move in and get a job lined up, then save a few bucks and get my own place. They think I should have been saving over the last year. How ridiculous are they, M1 Nick? Now, I'm going to tell you, M1s, as you're listening to this, I didn't think this was an email. What I mean by that is Woods brought this to us in our meeting last Wednesday. This is an actual email from an M1, and I said, is that a question?
I said, this is worth, like, talking about? Anybody feels anything other than who do you think you are? You're out of your mind. And that's what Woods and Jay said. And I go, we got a topic here then. I mean, happy birthday. Not happy birthday. Says the guy who didn't go to college. Right. Yeah, dude, I didn't go to college. Save money? It's hard to work, save money, and live and go to school. Oh, really? Really? I thought it was called life. Well, it is. But if they have the means to have their kid back for a few months while he lines up his future, they should. I'm going to look a word up here. I'm going to go to my little dictionary, and I'm going to look up a word, and I want you to tell me what you think the definition is. I'm going to tell you the definition, and I want you to tell me what you believe that is. Okay. What's the word? Here we go. What's the word? What's the word? Here's the definition. The fact of having a right to something. Entitlement. Do we live in the entitlement generation or freaking what? Yes, we do. It's like. Yes, we do. I'm entitled. Everybody's like that. You know why I'm entitled? No, Woods. No. A lot of people are. Yeah, you're right. A lot of people are. But I'll tell you what, man.
generation i grew up in i'm 40 years old generation i grew up in my dad said you're out of the house you flew the coop you know now my dad my dad did decide to let me come back home he didn't have to right and when he did it was like out of the kindness of my old man's heart it wasn't you know like that's what he decided to do but if he had said sorry buddy you're on your own you're 18 all growing up to be 18 years old all i knew is that when i was 18 that's it oh and by the way rides over by the way how about this fact how about the fact that what we hear from kids is hey man you got the twilight kids now hey man listen i'm not a kid don't talk to me like that get out of my room you know they talk a big game right And then they're 18 and they're finally an adult and they want it both ways. So what are you, an adult or you're not an adult? You want it both ways. That's exactly it. You want it both ways. You want to be able to come and go as you please. Yes. Yet not have any responsibilities. I get it. And you want dad to do whatever you want. The kid is, the kid has, okay, he has a point. He is at the end of a part of his life. He's about to start what we call the next chapter. He's going to be working the next 60 years of his life.
His parents should give him three months. Three months is pretty solid. Hey, find a gig, find your place, and get the hell out of here. Well, let me take my piece of paper out and write down the rules. He shouldn't feel entitled. 90 days. Sure. Give him a 90-day plan. Let me write down the rules. So when you go to college, you can never come back. Okay, there's one. I ain't saying that. Well, you just said. No, I ain't. I'm not saying that. I'm saying if dad says no. Oh, well, you don't sit there. Dad's not a bad guy. His dad's saying no. Yeah, his dad's saying no. He's a clown. Dad's a clown. Dad's a clown. Dad's a clown. He's an ass clown. Oh, wow. I thought he was about to say something else. Lauren O'Brien. Yes. When you left your home, would your dad, well, maybe he would. Would your dad let you back home? Oh, yeah. Okay. And if he said no, would that have made him a D in your eyes? I would have thought it was the school of hard knocks, which my dad often says that he graduated from. Yeah. Yeah. I'm shocked by Jay, by the way. I would never even have to ask. If I was done, my parents would be like, oh, you're coming back. Yeah. I can move home today. So could I. At one point, I lost a job. Well, actually, I quit a job that I thought was, you know, I'd done everything to get this job. My dad just, I didn't even ask. I just showed up. Here I am. And he's like, oh, here we go. Let's get you in. That's cool. Hey, listen.
Obviously, I have no problem with that. I got no problem with that. I think that's wonderful. Who wouldn't? All I'm saying is, is that if your kids move out, Jay, and you and Kim decide that you want to, you know, remodel. Make love. Make love. We'll make love anyway. Well, what I'm saying is, ooh, that's creepy. Let's say that, you know, let's say you're used to your privacy now. Oh, no way. I would welcome them back in. All of them. He's like the Waltons, man. If Jay had his choice, he'd have a giant house. They and their families would live there. They'd all live there together the rest of their life. Like a big ranch. 570-1949. I want to hear from M1 Nation. I want to know what people think of that. If I had said to my dad, can I move back? And my dad said, no. No. No. Me again. Me again. I would have been like, okay. Yeah. Really? I wouldn't be like, who do you think you are? No, I wouldn't have said that. Who do you think you are? Listen to this guy. He says, and I quote, you'd think they'd be proud of what I've accomplished. Yep. Yeah. But they won't even give me my old bedroom back for a few months. Well, with that emphasis, I could say anything with that tone. You'd think that they'd be proud of what I've accomplished.
But they won't even give me my old bedroom back. That's better. That's better. I'm going to make an assumption, but I'm guessing that the parents may be paid for his school. Oh, yeah. They're like, we're done. Off the teat, pal. We are done. Off the teat. You could have gotten a job while you were in school. True. They're praying like, listen, you feasted, you feasted four, maybe five, maybe six years like me. On our dime. On our dime. The teat is closed. Yeah. Well, first of all. You feasted for 18 years. Yeah, let's call it what it is. Let's call it what it is. They didn't ask to be born, though. The 18 years shouldn't come into it. Fair enough. You feasted for 18 years. And when you graduated from high school, I put you in that college, in that dorm room where you smoked plenty of weed, drank a bunch of beers, and had sex with a lot of girls in that dorm room. Also assumptions. Captain assumptions. Is it? Not really. Is it? No, it's not. Also assumptions. And now... We've turned your bedroom into the money pit that I call mom's new easel, mom's brand new stair climber, mom's elliptical. So what it is is it's become a workout slash art studio. Utility room. Slash utility room. And so, no, you can't come back.
And how does he end the email in one, Nick? He says, how ridiculous are they? Like Edward Furlong in Terminator 2. Very ridiculous. With his flock of seagulls bangs in front of his eyes. How ridiculous are they? Don't even let me have my own room back. So maybe this guy should just jump into a job that he's not going to be happy with. Just immediately jump in and start paying bills and get an apartment. It's hard to do if he's broke. I mean, it's hard to get on your feet, man. It's really hard to get on your feet after college. I had to go back. I agree. I agree. It's hard to get on your feet, period. It's hard to get on your feet at 35 years old sometimes. This discussion should have been had before graduation because now it's like, oh, wow, now what do I do? M1, Leah from El Cajon. Are you there? Yes, I am. What do you think? I think that you should be given one chance to come home and his parents should drop a contract. You've got... Three months. After three months, you're getting kicked out. Hey, listen. It's up to the parents as far as I'm concerned. I do it to my daughter. What did you say to her? Oh, well, not yet. I mean, she's still three, but if she comes back... She's three, but I'm laying it down. I know you're three, now get out. Well, no, if she comes back from school and she's like, Mom, I need time to get my stuff together, I'll say, okay, I'll give you three months. Here's the contract. You've got three months. I'll help you all I can, and then I'm done. I like contracts. You're going to boot her?
Yes. You're going to boot her. Yes. There's no way. My dad. Hey, pal. You know how many contracts I signed with my old man? A hundred. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me the thing. I'll sign it. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get you back. No problem. Hey, listen. Come on. I didn't sign any contracts. Here's what my dad said. He goes, you run up my phone bill. Again, you're out. Well, yeah. I ran up the phone bill. Talking to a lady friend. Talking to a lady friend. I ran up the phone bill and he said, get out. And I go, out where? Where am I supposed to go? He said, I don't care. Just get out. Wow. School of hard knocks. Yeah. So where did you go? It's called backing up what you say. Sure. It's called being a man of your word. My dad said, you do this, you're out. He kicked me out. Where did I go? I went to my friend Shannon's house in San Diego. I didn't have any, I had nowhere else to go. That's what I did. I drove. You know what? He was a nice guy because he didn't have to give me anything. Right. He gave me about 50 bucks for gas and said, sayonara. Wow. Wow. That 50 bucks got me to say, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is not Daniel's bad. Guess who ran up the phone bill knowing full well what the consequence would be? Yeah. I'm not saying you didn't deserve it. You laid down the law. You laid down the law. Thank God for my dad. I really do.
Kid was a mess. I needed help from time to time. And they were always there for me to help me. Was? Still. If I needed anything. Yeah, my parents are there to help me. But if I ain't going to help myself. If this kid. Yeah, this kid. He's trying. He just said he wants a gig. Hold on. No, no, no. You're right, Jake. You're right. Hey, if it were me with this same kid, I'd let him come back. Okay. But what I don't understand is how ridiculous are they? I think. Pretty ridiculous. Pretty ridiculous. I really do. I really feel that's pretty ridiculous. Entitlement. Sure. Call it what it is. He just graduated from college. That is an accomplishment. I think it's easy to sit and say, oh, yeah. I mean, I'll boot him. I'll boot him right away. Your kid comes home. He just busted his ass. He got good grades. He comes home. Let's assume he got good grades. He graduated. He goes, hey, man, I need to get a gig, and I need to get on my feet. And you're like, hey. Sorry, man. Store's closed. Tell your mom who's in there making clay buckets all day long, right? She's thinking Demi Moore. She's like Demi Moore in there in Ghost. You want me to do? I'd love to let you back, kid. Your mom's in there trying to make potholders. I'm not moving that friggin' kiln out of there, okay? It's like 7,000 pounds. It's a 7,000 pound kiln. 17 ashtrays and we don't even smoke. Yeah.
And they don't even look like ashtrays. They look like saucers. That's how much talent mom has in the sculpting department. But what do you want me to do? Sleep on a friend's couch. It's a rite of passage. It's a rite of passage. Sean from Escondido. Are you there? Pretty good. What did you do? Small business. Quit my job. It was going good for about six months. And I started running out of money. And so I asked my dad to move back in. He said no, and my mom turned his head a little bit, and I had to move back. I got to move back in on his terms, but I understood that. Like, I'm asking him for grace when he's already told me, you know, once you're out of my covering, you're out of my covering. You're your own man. And that's usually what happens. I mean, I don't know the whole story with M1 Nick who wrote this, but my guess is that, you know, you know your dad.
You know, your dad usually lays the law down. I doubt that this is a complete shock. The entitlement thing, like, I don't understand it. I'm 24, so I'm just barely, like, in that generation but above. And I know, like, it was my bad. I had to work hard. If he said no, I needed to figure out my own thing. And I've bombed on friends' couches. You know, you make it work. Hey, man, I was 18. I made it work. I was 18. I went out, I got a job, and I had my own place. It wasn't the biggest or coolest place in the world, but I had my own place. And it was because my old man said, listen, you're not a chick anymore. You're a bird. Fly away. You know, fly out of the nest. That's what you got to do. And when I needed to come back, he let me. But, you know, for the most part, he wanted to try to give us the boot. Sometimes your bird breaks his wing. Bird needs a little help. Yes. Sometimes a bird needs its wings clipped. Well, yeah. Thank God for the nest holders having that nest. You know, it's nice to know that you can go through life knowing that you've got a family that's there to support you. If you need them. You know what a lot of people will do? They'll just keep falling back on that. Sure. Their whole life. Hey, man, I got caught up in that for years. But, you know, sometimes you got to... Some people are late bloomers, pal. I think it's guilt. From? Parents. They feel guilty? Yep. For what?
Not doing this, not doing that. I tell you, build a strong kid, and they're not going to want to come back. That's cool. But all your kids came back. No, they don't. Maddie's gone. Maddie's gone. She's not there. She's got her own place. Liberty's still going to college. And Finn and Jasper, I tried to kick him out, but he's trying to come back. So not all my kids have come back. But see, they would. And Jay wouldn't mind. I would absolutely let them back. He would love it. That doesn't mean they're not strong. Yeah, they're going to have their own futures and they're going to have their own horizon. They're going to have their own places. But if they need to come back in for a pit stop along life's road. Oh, wow. Like a poet. Oh, boy. I see very well. Hey, easy, Maya Angelou. Bob Frost. And one North Park from North Park. You there? Yep, I'm here. Where did you get this statistic? The 80%? Mm-hmm. I think I was reading on, like, my homepage, like, one of those MSN websites. What did it say? Go ahead. It's 80% of the 2011 graduating class is moving back home and with their parents. 80%. It's a turd market. Turd. And I get the whole entitlement thing. Obviously, I grew up in San Diego, and it's disgusting, and my parents have never been like that. But here's the thing. I don't think this guy's being an ass. I just think that this guy's making a dumb move because if you're a good parent.
And you say, all right, I'm going to teach my kid to listen. They're moving out right after college. And then they don't make it. What happens? You're just going to let your kid just, like, fail and not support them or help them financially at all? Really? Giving them somewhat of a boost. No, I'm just acknowledging. Okay. I'm sorry. I thought you were saying, yeah, that's what I'm going to do. No, I'm just acknowledging that she was saying that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I just think it's dumb. All right. Thank you for the call. Woods almost jumped over the table. I was coming to get you, dude. I had my belt halfway on. Let's play the gas prices right. Average cost of gas. We're going to give you the average cost of gas here in San Diego County. And then we're going to give you some items. They're like convenience store items. And you have to tell us whether they're higher or lower than that. You've got to get it three out of five. What's the prize today, Jay? Pair tickets to the San Diego County Fair. There it is. Call us right now, 570-1949. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Why do we say that Fords are built for San Diego? Fuel efficiency. We now offer three models that get over 40 miles per gallon. The hot-selling Fiesta, the all-new Focus, and the clean green Fusion Hybrid.
We also sell Ranger and Escape Hybrid, the most fuel-efficient pickup and the most fuel-efficient SUV in all of California. For those of us who like to get our hands dirty, the choice is F-150. Equip yours with our efficient new EcoBoost engine or take the hard-working 3.7-liter V6 and get class-leading MPG. If you're ready to get the most out of every drop, it's time to drive a fuel-efficient Ford from your San Diego County Ford dealer. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com. EPA estimated 40 mpg highway for 2011 Fiesta SE with SFE. 40 mpg for 2012 Focus SE with SFE. 41 city mpg for 2011 Fusion Hybrid. Ranger claim based on 2.3 liter manual two-wheel drive. Excludes vehicles built for Mazda. F-150 claim refers to standard 3.7 liter V6. Actual mileage will vary. The Ultimate Fighting Championship presents UFC 130. Fresh off a win over Lyoto the Dragon Machida. Former light heavyweight champion and MMA legend Quentin Rampage Jackson is back to take on the man who smacked the man who smacked the man. Fashed Tito Ortiz, Matt the Hammer Hamill. Also, former heavyweight champion Frank Mir prepares for the knockout power of heavy-handed Roy Big Country Nelson. Plus, coming off one of the most phenomenal performances of his career, welterweight contender Tiago Alves will go to war with a relentless Rick horror story. And it's a battle of heavyweight giants as 6'7 undefeated Travis Brown takes on 6'11 powerhouse Stefan Skyscraper Strew. Bud Light presents UFC 130.
Rampage vs. Hamill. Live Saturday, May 28th from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. Only on pay-per-view. Visit UFC.com for details. Or using your Cox remote control by tuning to channel 501 or in HD on channel 798 after 5.30 p.m. on Saturday. Enjoy the fight. So I'm at the theater with my mom and sister who somehow convinced me to see the latest Victorian romantic love tragedy film. But at least I have an ice cold Coke. Well, I had an ice cold Coke. Now I'm down to that last part where if I try to drink it, there's a good chance it'll make a slurping noise. Quiet. So I'm waiting for an action scene to cover the slurp. And waiting for the action scene. And waiting. The little cottage is always very snug. You pass the pop. Coca-Cola, open happiness. Refreshing Coke and refreshing savings make summer cooler. Visit your local Albertsons and grab a Coca-Cola summer booklet with more than $85 in savings. That includes $2 off a large Coke at your local AMC theater. And pick up plenty of Coke for all your get-togethers. Coca-Cola, open happiness.
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Saving money we pass on to you. Oh, I love the store. Most of the prices, they're very competitive. I always know it's going to be good quality, too. This food is prepared with love. And, you know, tastes high in, but it's an affordable price. Everybody can afford it. I get everything prepared. Thank you, Fresh and Easy. And thank you, Almond. You just saved us some money. Now everyone can enjoy cool deals on summer favorites with 30% off Fresh and Easy ice cream. And the winner of the 33rd Annual Pumpkin Way Off is Edward. A 1,524-pound pumpkin. Amazing. Oh, thank you. What's your secret? Frank's Red Hot. I put that s*** on everything. Frank's Red Hot sauce goes on anything. Its aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to jambalaya, ribs, collard greens, steaks, fries, sausage, onion rings, crab legs, chicken, chili, and even prized pumpkins. Frank's Red Hot sauce. I put that s*** on everything. You're headed for a divorce, but before you head to an attorney, think about calling a fairway mediation. First, it costs considerably less. Second, it works with both of you, not paid lawyers, to figure out what's best. Call 619-702-9174 or online at afairway.com. For a limited time, BMW will make your first three payments on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your local BMW center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash cpo for details.
This report, it's brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. We do have a closure at Claremont Mesa Boulevard, both directions between Mercury Street, Rustner. It's closed through traffic till about 8 a.m. this morning. Also, things clearing up here on the 5 southbound at Washington Street. An earlier disabled car was on the top of that on-ramp. They just moved it. Should be able to get through. But you'll find some delays as you head on the 125 northbound from Lemon Avenue to Grossmont Boulevard. This report brought to you by the San Diego International Airport. Terminal 2 parking. It's now located just west of the airport. Follow the signs along Harbor Drive. They'll lead you straight to the new lot with free shuttle service just nine bucks a day during May. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surfboard for a Tuesday morning. Brought to you by Joe Roper's Surfboard Repair and Restoration Services. Under partly cloudy skies with some light and variable winds, we've got a decreasing swell combination. Still that west-northwest wind ground swell is dominant. Some secondary and dropping southwest swell underlying that at the same time as well. Continued battling with those lower tides later this morning.
will have an effect on size and shape, as does that variable wind situation. That all being said, there are waves to be had running in that waist-to-chest type plus zone, up to head height to stand out spots on occasion, though. Kind of broken up and shifty, looking to be, once again, a better beach break scenario than the reefs right now, as they look a bit drained out and not a whole lot of shape or length of ride to be had at those particular spots. After that lower tide later this morning, as the tide starts to swing back around, if those winds kind of lay off, Could get pretty fun at the beach break, so that's where I'm heading. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for all your surfboard repair or restoration needs, you go see Joe Roper. The surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I got a box of... You know, stuff in the mail because I like to shop on the Internet. Lauren. I know all the rules. I just break them. Woods. I don't like to work out with people. I don't like to play video games with people, and I don't like to work out with them. Ziena. I made reservations for us last night. And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. Nice looking day out there, huh? All sunny and nice. It's a temp, I wonder. Well, they say today in San Diego we're going to get up to a real crispy 64 degrees. Beautiful.
Watch the reality show about noodling. Weird. For the catfish? No, noodling. Noodling. It's fascinating. For those that don't know what noodling is, fill them in. You catch catfish with your bare hands. It's the creepiest thing. The TV show's called Hillbilly Hand Fishing. It's creepy. Great. I just call it fishing. That's right. I've been doing it. You know what I do now? I don't even use my hand. I just talk them out of the river. Come on. And they know I mean business. Get out of there. Come on. You know who I am? I just say it's Jay. They hop out. They jump out on my plate. Bring on the biggins. Already fried. Seasoned. Dipped. Battered. That's right. I mean business. It's time for The Gas Price is Right. Here's the way we play. The price of gas here in San Diego, the median price of gas here in San Diego is $4.11. $4.11. So I'm going to give you some items, and you've got to get the best three out of five. All right? You've got to go higher or lower. We've got M1 Monkey Man from San Diego on the line. Hi, Monkey Man. Hey, how we doing this morning, guys? We're doing good. You've got to get the best three out of five, okay? Again.
Medium price of gas here in San Diego, $4.11. You ready? Absolutely. All right, here we go. Kraft shredded cheese. Is that more or less than $4.11? I'm going to go less. No, sorry, dude. That's $5.29. Wow. It's actually more than $4.11. What about Oscar Mayer Wieners? Package of Oscar Mayer Wieners. Oscar Mayer Wieners. Is that more or less than $4.11? I'm going to go less than $4.11. What? What? Did you say more or less? Less. You're right. $3.99. You need two more. What about Oscar Mayer bacon? A pound of Oscar Mayer bacon. Is it more or less than $4.11? You just call that breakfast. More. You say what? More.
That is correct. Only one more, bro. You only need one more, and you're good. What about a foot-long Italian sub? Is that more or less than 4'11"? I'll show you a foot-long. I was waiting for that, L.O.B. Foot-long Italian sub, I'm going to say more. Yeah! Wiener one, dude. Hang on the line. We've got some good players. M1 Amber from Carlsbad. Are you ready? All right, best three out of five. Remember, the median price of gas is $4.11 here in San Diego County. One bottle of Tisdale Cabernet Sauvignon. One bottle of Tisdale Cabernet Sauvignon. Is it more or less than $4.11? It's more.
It's less. That's the good stuff. So you know it's good. $3.99. All right. What about one 8-ounce bottle of Kraft Ranch dressing? More or less than 4.11? Less. Oh, no. It's $2.29. All right. That means, M1 Amber, that you've got to get these next three right. Are you ready? Oh, my gosh. Okay, yeah. One quart. Of liquid plumber. One quart of liquid plumber. Is that more or less than $4.11? More. That's right, girl. $5.19. You've got to get these next two right. One can. One large can of WD-40. One large can of WD-40. Is it more or less than $4.11? My God.
My husband would know this. One large can. One large can of WD-40. One large can. She said it. All right. More. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. All right. Last one. Quite a comeback. Let's go. Yeah, you get this. You're good to go. One box of Lunchables. Turkey and cheese with juice. I know. It doesn't seem like there's that much. Take a guess. Is it more or less? I want to say it's less. Yeah! Most incredible comeback of all time. Hang on the line, Amber. And that's the way you do that. Wow. That was exciting. So, have you ever done something, and you did it one time, but people will not let you forget it? Really? Of course Woods has.
Woods has a very famous one. We want you to call us, M1 Nation. Call us with yours. 570-1949. Anytime, anytime, any of us hears the word or sees the written word, cheesecake. Cheesecake! Cheesecake! Cheesecake! Think of Woods. We had our anniversary dinner of us coming together as a show at a restaurant. And Woods had a wine glass. And the server came in and said, hey guys, anybody up for dessert? Got some cheesecake? And Woods grabbed his glass by the stem and went, cheesecake! Sat down and he was so excited that he smacked that glass down and it shattered. Cheesecake! Cheesecake! Because he's fat.
You ever just so fat that you break a glass over the announcement of cheesecake? Really? Seriously? Cheesecake. Happened once and any time the word cheesecake is mentioned. And Woods, he likes cheesecake as much as the next guy likes cheesecake. But it has become... your defining feature. He likes cheesecake as much as you like Tommy Bahama. Yes. If I could snort cheesecake, I would. It's the greatest thing ever. That's the irony. I never even wore a Tommy Bahama to get pinned. You love Tommy Bahama. You love it. One shirt.
100 shirts. One shirt, but you had it in several different colors. Fashions, designs. One brand of shirts. One brand of shirts. Sunglasses. Matching bra. Jewelry. All right, I got another one for you. 5701949, by the way. If you did something one time, now people call you glass. Pipe down glass is what LLV told me the next day. Easy glass. Easy glass. Um, well, I have a friend and a friend was on a first date with his now wife. Okay. They were in a nice restaurant and courtyard. They went to this, uh, restaurant that was in a resort and she goes, Oh my goodness. They have my, they have my school flag here. And he said, what do you mean? She goes, my elementary school flag, they must be doing something here. And, uh, it was actually the.
California state flag. She will never live that. Never, ever, ever. And if it was my wife, every time I saw it, I'd be like, hey, babe, look, Spring Hill Elementary. She would be mortified. My wife and I landed on an airplane a few months back. I actually saw the California state flag and text messaged this friend of mine and said, hey, let your wife know that we just saw her elementary school flag here at the airport. It's everywhere. It's a courthouse. Yeah, courthouse. You can see it all over. My Little League field, there's one. It's everywhere. It's fascinating. 570-1949. Why don't you spell colonel for us? Oh, my God. Well, now I can spell it like crazy. It's C-O-L-O-N-E-L. How did you pronounce it? Colonel. I was in college studying English as a major. I was playing a video game in the dorm. They had a video game there. My buddy Bobby and I used to play it every night. And we played this thing like crazy. And we finally got up to this, like...
The big level. And we're playing and I go, dude, look. I'm a colonel. And he goes, what? And I go, a colonel. I'm a colonel. And he goes, why don't you look at that one more time? And I go, oh. Still looked like colonel. Still looked like colonel. But then it registered. Oh, it's colonel. I, to this day, I've known Bobby for 15 years. I'm colonel. Every time I talk to him, he goes, easy colonel. Easy colonel. Every time. Anytime you give him a hard time. Easy colonel. M1 Argyle from Point Loma. Good morning. How are you doing? Good. Well, I went to Point Loma Nazarene out there in Point Loma, obviously. And big prank war going on back and forth my freshman year, which was about six years ago. Anything from burning human hair in other people's rooms to emptying bags and bags of shredded paper. take it one more level and um the reason i can't live things down anymore and i actually got a nickname for it so um after all these prank wars went on i decided to steal the um flags of one of the dorms that i lived in actually it was a prank against my own dorm because my resident assistants were the ones who were going back and forth with us and
When they realized that the flags were gone, I had also blamed it on our rival dorm. So there was actually a huge prank war that happened between the two dorms because of this. And when it finally came out that I was the one who stole it because I was stupid enough to take pictures with the flag as I was stealing them, I developed the nickname of Root, which still lives to this day. Why? The Root of all evil. Pretty good. The Root. And the person who built the flags, he bugged me for four years about paying them back for them because they were... It was Jay. Yeah, it was Jay. Hey, you're giving my flag money? That wasn't free. Hey, thanks for the call. Hey, Ruth, it's me, Jay. I need my money back. You know, CB was telling me about where he went to college and he had a buddy in the dorm and he said that the FBI... actually had to come to the dorm because this is so filthy. They were doing these pranks and the pranks were escalating. Every time it was like they had to get bigger and bigger and bigger. And apparently it got to the point where somebody took a number dose and somebody's
bed and then made their bed. Okay. Oh my. And so this guy was so mad when he got in bed that he ripped his sheets off and threw them out of the room and they hit the wall in the hallway outside the room and somebody was walking by and saw that and they got angry that it was out there like that. And they were like, what is it? And they grabbed it and they threw it. And pretty soon it was all over the hallway. And so the campus police were called and the campus police go, guess what? We got to call the FBI. And the FBI came and they had to fly in the CDC because it was a public school. CDC came. FBI came. They closed the place down. Everybody had to move out. Close the place down. Yellow tape. Hazmats. Use some pine salt and clean it up. When you do stuff like that, it becomes like a thing. Holy cow. How's that guy feel? He said that was not even close to the end of his stuff. Our freshman year in the dorms. Dude. Giant.
Giant rubber made trash cans filled with anything and everything you can imagine. Tilted just so against somebody's door. When they opened it to go to class, bam, everything falls in. Also a bit we did. This was brilliant. We would take like a giant grocery sack, fill it with shaving cream. Oh, yeah. Slide the tip right under the crack. Yeah. And take a big ass dictionary and go. Bam! Oh, so it goes under their door? And it would shoot everywhere. And we'd do this at 4 o'clock in the morning when somebody was dead asleep. They'd wake up with shaving cream all over. Everywhere. We would penny guys in their room. There was a thing you could do. You'd take like three pennies. You'd tape them together. You'd put them in the door jamb just so you can't open your door from the inside. Oh, wow. Dude, let me out. I've got class. Sorry, pal. Feast. You cannot get out. Oh, my gosh. We're on the seventh floor. You couldn't get out your window either. Pennied him in his room for hours. Now, see, I never went to college, but that's the stuff that I feel I missed out on. Oh, you did. I missed out on that stuff. I wouldn't have wanted it to be done to me, but I would have enjoyed watching it be done to me. And doing it to other people was fun. Oh, my gosh. It was so fun, man. I'm trying to remember the one they did with the toilets. They did something with toilets. Upper Deckers? Upper Deckers. What is that? Poo in the commode part? Yeah. Yes! The UD.
Yes, that's what it was. There's the other one, too, where you take the water feed. There's like a little small water feed. You make it point out. So when you flush the toilet, it shoots water out at you. That's the best. Oh, my God. That's easy, too. That's easy. Yeah, guys come up with some pretty crazy stuff. The girls don't really do that, do they? We retell. We don't come up with it originally, but then we can retell. What does that mean? Retaliate. You retaliate, but you don't do that stuff. Girls don't do the gross stuff, right? No poo. More like shaving cream, eggs, stuff like that. Like in high school, one of the guys that dumped me, I took eggs, a dozen eggs and poked holes in each of them and then slipped it under his car seat and it took him like months to find it. Oh, what a smell. Can you imagine going out to your car and you haven't found it and so you know what you're about to open your door to? Yeah. Every day. Every day. Every day. It's like this. It's like the same thing. You know when you go and you change the bag on your grocery or on your trash can in the kitchen? And you don't know what it is. But it's taken you four days to accumulate enough garbage to take your garbage out. But on the very bottom of the garbage is like a yellow styrofoam chicken container. And so you grab the bag and when you pull it up,
It goes... That's what you do. Babe! And then when you carry it out, it leaves a trail of pink dots. Pink juice behind you. Pink juice. Stop. M1 dog bait from Sereno Valley. What's up, Mikey? Good morning. Good morning. What did you do? While I was in the military, I was stationed in Korea. And we'd go in the barracks and tie everybody's doors down the hall. And then we'd set off the fire alarm. So every time somebody would open, somebody else would open and then they would shut theirs. Oh, wow. I love it so much. Oh, wow.
Wow. Thank you. Dude, nothing makes me happier than stuff like that. M1 Crazy Kevin from the South Bay. You know it's going to be crazy if it's in the name. It's Crazy Kevin. It's Crazy Kevin. You crazy. Crazy Kevin, that's right. That's crazy. Go ahead. Hey, what's up, dude? Yeah, man. We had these roommates. They were just being pained in my butt. You know what I mean? And I was messing with the shower head in the shower. And I threw in Jolly Ranchers, dude, and the dude came out of the shower all nice and sticky. Oh, that's brilliant. Wait, how did you... You stuck the Jolly Ranchers where? We had these old ghetto-ass apartment shower heads, you know what I mean? Right. Oh, you stuck him in there. Insides. Back on the water, runs over the Jolly Ranchers. Guy can never get clean. He's never getting clean. He's soaping up with Jolly Rancher water. He's never going to get clean. That's insane. You're crazy. You're crazy. That's crazy. Former guitarist for Kiss.
Just got arrested for domestic violence and having four dead dogs in a container in his house. We're going to tell you who it was. Also, we're going to play you audio of a woman in Connecticut that screwed up her report as a reporter and submitted that instead of the actual take. We'll play it for you. Sunday, June 5th. Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Presented by Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste Greatness. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Leaky Lee. Peter, Bjorn, and John. Band of Skulls. Everest. Performing on the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. And performing wherever he can plug in.
Low bolts. You can't buy tickets, but we will be giving some away. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness. A special thanks to Grubby's and Los Tacos for helping to support this year's Independence Jam. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside with FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Up Friday night, Transfer will play the Caspot. That's this coming Friday the 27th. And Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra play Soma next week. They'll be there June 1st. June 5th is the sold-out FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Matt and Kim and the Thermals are at House of Blues June 16th. July 26th, the Perfect Circle plays the open-air theater. And there's two shows July 30th. Slightly Stupid here in town at the Cricket Wireless Amphitheater. Or if you go to the L.A. Coliseum for L.A. Rising, you can see Rage Against the Machine, Muse, Rise Against, and a bunch of bands. Big Sonic Chill presents Sia at House of Blues, August 11th.
Devcat for Cuties at the Remac, August 16th. 311 and Sublime with Rome play Cricket Wireless, August 19th. You can see Kings of Leon there on September 4th. And September 13th, Ray LaMontagne will play Copley Symphony Hall. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. Whether you're biking, hiking, camping, or traveling up the coast this Memorial Day weekend, all the action begins at your local Jeep dealer during the Jeep Memorial Day sales event. As we honor our country, you can celebrate our 70th anniversary with exceptional offers on our 2011 Jeep lineup, like the high-tech and luxurious Jeep Grand Cherokee and genetically engineered for greatness Jeep Compass. Plus, take advantage of the limited-time offers on the EPA-estimated 29 highway mile-per-gallon Jeep Patriot. and the unstoppable Jeep Wrangler. So before you head out, stop by the Jeep Memorial Day sales event. It's where the action starts. Now lease the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x4 for $3.69 a month for 39 months with $24.99 due at least signing for well-qualified lessees. Tax, title, and license extra. EPA estimates based on a 4x2 model. Call 1-888-925-Jeep for lease details. Popper requires a dealer contribution and lease through Ally. Take delivery by 531. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC.
In the military, success depends on having a plan to deal with whatever might come next. The same holds true when it comes to owning a vehicle, which is why you should call 877-265-8722 and learn about AutoCircle from USAA, a service that covers every aspect of owning a vehicle for those who have honorably served and their immediate families. Take insurance, for example. AutoCircle.com lets you update vehicles on your USAA policy right from your computer or iPhone. Members who switch to USAA Auto Insurance save an average of $400 a year. Start saving today. Call 877-265-8722 or visit autocircle.com today for details. It's easy, it's free, and it's USAA. Savings based on a 2009 countrywide survey of new customers. Discount not available in Massachusetts. Restrictions, fees, and costs apply to certain Auto Circle products. Insurance by United Services Automobile Association, San Antonio, Texas. You get up early. You work late. Weekends off? Not likely. Why? Because as a small business owner, it's more than your job. It's what you love. And you need technology that keeps pace with your passion. That's why Verizon delivers all the wireless solutions you need to make sure your business rules. Verizon technology gives you the power to enable growth and boost productivity because only Verizon offers an arsenal of advanced devices, powerful business apps,
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Cue a DJ. Any DJ. But not a French house music DJ. Cue the unintentional double backflip belly flop. Cue the sympathetic eyes from the pool full of cuties. Cue the other guys lining up to do a double backflip belly flop. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Hugh Blind Norwalk Connecticut under license from the trademark owner. Bacon. Listen to it. Sounds like a party. Actually, it is a party. Bacon Alia. Denny's celebration of bacon. Seven new bacon dishes. Like the triple bacon sampler. Or maple bacon sundae. Starting at just $4.99. Come on in and party. Denny's. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. It's often said that actions speak louder than words. And what better example than car and drivers take on the BMW 3 Series? They not only named it to their 10 best list again this year, but they did so for an unprecedented 20 years in a row. Is it because it's faster and more powerful than the Audi A4, Lexus IS 250, or the Mercedes C300? Or because BMW includes no-cost maintenance, saving you thousands over other brands? Or because it delivers a joy?
that only the ultimate driving machine can. It's time to let your actions decide. The test drive of a 3 Series today. Claim based on published 3 Series sedan and competitors 0-60 in horsepower. For ultimate service details, call 1-888-3114-BMW. For a limited time, lease the BMW 328i sedan for $339 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Los Tacos is proud to be a sponsor for this year's Independence Jam coastal invasion. At the concert tour in North County, Los Tacos is the place to enjoy Mexican food with the freshest ingredients. Just one bite and you'll be hooked. This report, it's brought to you by British Airways. British Airways now flies nonstop to London from San Diego, which means you'll spend more time in London, less time waiting to get there. For schedules and fares, visit ba.com. Well, we've got a closure here. Claremont Mesa Boulevard, both directions between Mercury Street and Ressner. It's closed to through traffic. Also...
Humul, the 94 to Indian Springs Drive. We had a multi-vehicle accident. That's blocking lanes. Traffic really slowing down through that area. Skyline area, Park Creek Court at Parkbrook Street. It's just west of the 54. A homicide investigation underway right now. San Diego fire found four bodies by a pool at a residence. So avoid that area if at all possible. This report brought to you by Wawanese Insurance. With Wawanese's recent change in car rates, many San Diego good drivers could save even more by switching. Call 877-877-877. W-A-W-A-N-E-S-A. Go to WawanisaUS.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I feel like the guy wearing dad jeans eating ice cream and not caring. Lauren. I have to yell because my voice is little. Woods. Listen, I am a clown. I'm not going to deny the fact that I am a giant clown and I like to make people laugh. Zienna. I don't get engineering. And Jay. I did an hour of hot yoga yesterday and then went across the street and had an acai bowl. On FM 94.9. And it was taking us a minute.
Because we're trying to get this all ready for you to hear. Breaking news here in San Diego. Good morning at 7.56. I'm Jason Austell. And I'm Marian Cushin. We have breaking news out of the Skyline area. We have learned that three people have been found dead at a house in the 100 block of Park Creek Court. NBC San Diego's Monica Dean is there live and she brings us the very latest. Monica, what can you tell us? Well, Marianne and Jason, I can tell you there is a major police investigation underway right now, and we have confirmed that that involves San Diego police homicide. Let me step out of the way so you can look down Park Creek Court here in this neighborhood. You can see they have quite a bit of it cordoned off. We have confirmed that one person is dead here, as many as possibly four victims involved. We heard reports of medics working on... Two other victims, and we haven't confirmed just how many people dead here at the scene. The first reports came out saying that one of those victims was found inside a swimming pool in the backyard of one of these homes. And if you look from NBC San Diego News chopper, you can get a better vantage point of the neighborhood here. Of course, many neighbors coming out, very curious as to what is going on here, and we're waiting for an...
An update from police investigators here at the scene, but certainly a very concerning situation and possibly very disturbing. As we know, one person is dead and maybe more. We'll keep you up to date. Live in Paradise Valley, I'm Monica Dean, NBC San Diego. Skyline. I can't, you know, I've lived in San Diego. I've heard of it. I just don't know where Skyline is. Somebody knows. Call us, 570-1949. Paradise Valley Road. It's right over there. I'm trying to think of where. East of Meadowbrook Drive, it says. You ever have something like that happen in your neighborhood before? No, have you? Yeah. When I was growing up, there was a murder in our neighborhood when I was in sixth grade. And it was... Terrifying, I bet. It's terrifying. Terrifying. Like, but you're, you know, sixth grade, you're like 11, 12. Morbid curiosity. Dude, we would sit there and it was about 10 houses down from my buddies. We'd just stare at it. We'd just stare at the house. That's what you do when you're a kid. You just look at that stuff. Halloween, we didn't go near it. Of course not. We were creeped out. It's part of the fun of being a kid. Yeah. When you're a kid, you just have that kind of stuff. I'm one of these guys that I wish that they would let me take a look. You want to go inside the house. Oh, dude, I'm telling you, I just met a guy that works for Carlsbad Homicide, and I want to see if he'll let me do a ride-along. I don't know that they can. He will. He'll let you do a ride-along. No way. Not to come inside. Not to taint. You can't taint evidence, though. Oh, I don't know that you can say that on the radio. What?
Taint? Evidence. Oh. I don't know that you could say the word evidence. I couldn't go inside, could I? It's a very sensitive nature. It's probably for need to see eyes only. You wouldn't want someone to see you slaughtered. Holy crap. I've thought about it. Brought things down to earth, didn't it? See you slaughtered. Your dead, lifeless body. You wouldn't. Would you want someone to look into your dead lights? What if somebody stepped in your blood and the killer was unable to be found because of their... morbidly obese curiosity morbidly obese how about that their big giant boot print their tiny little boots yeah mike would you want a crime scene to be somehow ruined very tiny little fingerprints little tiny fingers Mexican fingers would you want to ruin the attack which if you died mike slaughtered mike if you were slaughtered
And someone were investigating your slaughtering. Don't say that word. I used the word slaughter because that's what they do to pigs. So if you were slaughtered, Mike, would you want someone to spoil the integrity, the grease on their fingers from a burrito? Would you want somebody trailing little droplets of enchilada sauce behind them like Hansel and Gretel? Going to grandma's house? To grandmother's house we go. To Abuelita's house we go. Your very fat presence could block investigators. That's right. The view they need. The investigators could have been one step away, but no. One baloney wrapper. You can do ride-alongs with cops. I doubt very much the homicide detective, though. I don't think going in there. Tell you about this Kiss guitarist and who it was that they found four dogs.
In a container in his house. Also, domestic violence with this creep. He's a creep. It is. I've always thought so. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, Sony made an announcement today. Not good news for them. They reported their second breach. About 8,500 users' accounts were compromised. Now... Oh, excuse me. Mike? He's blowing his nose. Pull the curtain back there a little bit. The sights were all taken down immediately, but the Sony Music Entertainment said that...
Things like phone numbers, email addresses, usernames, and passwords. No credit card data was stolen, but the sites were taken down immediately. Also, more than 1,300 museums across the country are offering free admission to anyone that's active in the military and their families. So in San Diego, if you're at Camp Pendleton, 17 museums in San Diego are participating. It starts Memorial Day weekend through Labor Day. So as of this weekend, you can go with your family for free. Go check out some museums. 17 museums here in San Diego. I'm going to ZMU. Yeah. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, did I say it already? Sports is brought to you today by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some. Get some of that. It is good. The Dallas Mavericks have taken a 3-1 lead over the Oklahoma City Thunder in the Western Conference Finals. Dirk Nowitzki threw in 40 points last night. They had a 15-point deficit with five minutes left in regulation. Yeah. What? What? I don't know. Why did you stop? I don't know. This is a really cool story. I've been reporting about guys in the lockout getting arrested. And this is a really cool story. This rookie, his name is JT Thomas. That was me. Mike, you're being so distracting right now. Listen, I apologize. My nose had to be blown. It had to. I blew my nose. Then your eyes started watering. That's why I stopped.
And then your throat made a funny... Anywho, this guy JT... This is the first time I've been distracting in a year and a half. What other time have I ever been distracting? I don't know, but I want to tell you about this guy because it's really cool. It'll warm your heart. This guy JT Thomas, he's a Chicago Bears rookie linebacker. He took... a wheelchair-bound teen to her middle school dance. And she had asked a bunch of guys to dance. They had all said no. So he went and took her to this dance. He said she started crying, and she's 14 years old. Her name is Jocelyn Lavelle. She's in a wheelchair, and she has spina bifida. And so he took her to the dance. He said, I hugged her, signed a few things. We talked for a while, and she cried for a little bit. I gave her a hug and told her everything would work itself out. So contrary to what some people think, there are some good dudes out there.
It's really sweet. Yep. I wonder if any of them would take pity on me if I said I still hadn't been proposed to. I have a burning in my loins right now. Like if I just threw that out there, like. Like if you, like a, like a black linebacker. Yeah, if I was like, nobody's asked me yet. I. L.O.B. Not that I haven't thrown it out there. It's very. Why? L.O.B.'s not been proposed to by her boyfriend, Matt Commerce. By anyone. He's going to. I haven't been proposed to by anyone ever. I'm 30. Lauren. Taken away. It's the 60 minutes clock real good in the back of my head. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It's so uncomfortable. Imagine for me. I mean, trying to have a clear thought and that's all you hear. It's just tick. I was just thinking maybe. Maybe it could happen. Like a press release or something like that. What's this guy's name? JT something. Worth a shot. Mental note. You don't know if you don't ask. You're going to.
It's going to happen. From an NFL rookie, maybe. A former Kiss guitarist has been arrested. Yeah, Vincent Cusano. He's also known as Vinny Vincent. This happened on May 22nd, which was Sunday. His wife, Diane, who's 44 years old, went to the sheriff's office. Covered in blood, and that's in quotes, and reeking of alcohol. She said that she just escaped from their home in Tennessee after Vincent smacked her in the face after an argument that they had over a female subject who Vincent was talking to. Diane said that he threw her on the ground four times, but she eventually escaped and drove herself to the station. He also dragged her through a pile of broken glass from a broken plate that was on the floor. The night he was arrested. And when the dispatchers came to the house, they found four sealed containers containing dead dogs. Yeah. Diane, the wife, told the cops that the dogs had been killed by one of their aggressive dogs. Oh, wow. Yeah. He was eventually arrested, Vincent, and booked for aggravated domestic assault. And his bond was set at $10,000.
So when the dogs were killed by the aggressive dog, they just put them in a container? And sealed them. Ew. Weird. One after the other. I mean, we're all at the same time. And where's the aggressive dog? Maybe you locked him up. Yeah. Where's the aggressive dog? That's so weird. No, I was just, do you remember him? Do you remember Vinny Vincent? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He replaced Ace Frehley. Yeah. Yeah. He was a decent guitar player. What do you got? Oh, it's just, I just pulled up his Wikipedia. In case you were going to ask me any questions. About Vinnie Vincent? Yeah, what's his hometown? Bridgeport, Connecticut. Oh, sweet. Okay. He's 58. There you go. Yeah. Awesome. Does it say anything about his early history in terms of discology? Yeah, well, I mean, before Kiss, he was in bands. Treasure. Was he like a Boy Scout or anything? No, I didn't say that. What did his father do for a living? He usually says it in there. I don't know what Mr. Cassano did. Mr. Cassano, does he say anything about Mrs. Cassano? No, no. Siblings? Yeah, only child? I don't know. Do you have any pets? Any mischievous behavior as a kid? Any solo projects? Oh, yeah, Vinnie Vincent Invasion. Okay, got it, got it. You didn't know that? Yeah, anything about their biggest tour?
How many records sold in Japan? 86, probably their biggest tour. Did he win any science fairs or anything like that? I'm not sure. In elementary school. He replaced Ace Frehley, though. That's his big claim to fame. I wouldn't shut that yet. I mean, there may be. You are a D. Straight up. Let's go to Wikipedia. Yeah, we'll be informed. I need it. Hey, dude, I don't know. You're going to come to me and ask me some Vinny Vincent stuff? Maybe. Or am I going to be standing over here like don't know? Like an idiot? Like an idiot? Hanging out. Now, what if you said to me, hey, hey, Woods, what was the fourth album on his discology? What if you said, hey, Woods, I need to know what song was he on? And I'm like, I don't know Maki. Maki, you know I'm the resident kiss expert. What am I supposed to do? I'm not going to be standing over here like a dummy. All right, we got to talk about this girl with a Facebook, what she did, what she posted on her Facebook account. They got her in trouble. What was it, Sienna? It's a 13-year-old girl in New Hampshire. She got on Facebook, and she said that she wished Osama bin Laden killed her math teacher. Now, this 13-year-old was suspended for five days from Rundlett Middle School in Concord after posting this comment. And obviously, people thought it was offensive. Actually, one of the girls in her class's parents made it aware to the school where they suspended her. And the girl's mother...
is outraged that the consequence was so severe. Yeah, should be. Yes. Should be outraged at the suspension of your daughter because your daughter said that she wished Osama bin Laden would murder her math teacher. Yeah. Now see, when I was her age, it would have been the equivalent of putting that on a piece of paper and tacking it around town. All over town. Not just one spot. All over town. Where lots of people could see it. Because that's the equivalent. Yeah. You know, that's the equivalent. But the mom, again, it's the same thing. The entitlement thing. How dare you punish me for doing something stupid? Wait a minute. My daughter. This is mom talking.
We are now living in an age where my daughter cannot even say that she wished that her teacher were murdered without somebody suspending her for not one, not two, not three, not four, but five full days. What is this? Nazi Germany? Is this Russia? That you can't now say that you wish your math teacher were murdered. I'm moving to Canada. I'm ready to move to Canada. That's our baby girl they're talking about, baby. I know it, baby. I'm going to fight it. I'm going to go on the news. I'm going to tell people that I wish that she got shot by Sama Bin Laden, too. You ever seen that math teacher of hers anyway? Yeah, she's a fathead. Yeah. Just like the one you stick on the wall, man. I wish we had a fathead of her.
It's a math teacher with her big fat head, and we can throw stuff at it. Can't believe our daughter got suspended for five days. It's all right, though. I'm going to take her fishing. Oh, I'm going to go. We're going to go get our hair done. I'm going to take her, get a tattoo, and do some shots. Now, she can't have no tattoo because she got in trouble. Okay. She can have shots, though, right? Yeah, she can have shots. One or two. Okay. Whatever she wants. Probably one for every day she's suspended. Just pour some gold slugger and let her do that. I don't. Like the extreme punishment bit. From the parent? Yes. Give me a break. Yeah, that kid deserves to be suspended. If not expelled. Expelled. Yeah. I would have been if I had done that. I got suspended for spit and chew on the floor for three days. You did? Yeah. Where did you do that in the classroom? We were walking back from lunch and we always used to throw a dip in. And I forgot my spitter. And my mouth was filling up with spit. So I looked around and went.
And I rubbed it out with my foot. And the freaking principal grabbed me by the back of the neck and yanked me in his office. Where did you spit? In the hallway. I covered it up with my shoe. I was an idiot. Now, the hallway, what was it? Carpet? It was carpet. It was a D move. And he's like, what the hell were you thinking? I go, honestly, sir, I have no idea. What did he do to you? He grabbed me. He saw me. What was the punishment? Three-day suspension. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you got to rip that carpet out and replace it. No, it's, you know. Put some kitty litter on it. That's what they did. Steam clean it. Sawdust. It was a D move. There's no, I mean, I'm a D. I was like, I couldn't swallow it and I didn't have anything to spit it in. And I was showing off, you know, being a dork. I'd have got home and I, the belt. How old were you? Senior. Do your parents know you were dipping? Yeah. I wouldn't have got the belt for that. They weren't pleased, but. More than half his life. Yeah. He's been dipping. Yeah. He likes it too. Want to hear this chick mess up on TV? Yeah. Absolutely. Her name's Erica Groh. She's a reporter at WTNH in Connecticut. News 8's Erica Groh tells us tonight the allegations came to light after her parents said one of their kids was hurt. Two teachers here at Clinton Avenue Elementary in New Haven are being investigated for... It's a lot to remember because I'm stupid.
Obviously, a problem with that tape, the wrong tape loaded in there. We'll get back to that in a minute. In the meantime, coming up. And one more time. New State's Erica Groh tells us tonight the allegations came to light after a parent said one of their kids was hurt. Two teachers here at Clinton Avenue Elementary in New Haven are being investigated for... It's a lot to remember because I'm stupid. Obviously, a problem with that tape, the wrong tape loaded in there. We'll get back. Obviously, she is stupid. Yes. We'll have to get back to that later. That's funny. That's a good recovery on that dude's part, right? Yeah. They always do that. Maybe just laugh. Be like, whoa, I guess we loaded the wrong tape there. Coming back to you, Marjorie. Hey, they're finally getting on with the Casey Anthony trial. That's that poor little girl that disappeared. Her mom's real pretty.
Yeah. Young, pretty. 25 right now. 25 years old. And they're saying that they believe that she killed her. Yeah, she's actually standing trial today, accused of a crime. You know, unthinkable. A mother killing her daughter. What's the motive? Well, I mean, I have a million things I could tell you about, about the whole story and all the details. What would be her motive of killing her own kid? Well, friends had... said that they remember Casey, the mother, being like, I miss being single. I miss being able to go out. I can't do that kind of stuff with her. She's such a responsibility. She would say stuff like that all the time. And the child, Kaylee, her disappearance wasn't even called in for a month. A month. And it wasn't by Casey, the mom. It was by the grandmother. Do you want me to give you all? I could lay it all out for you. I'll tell you what. It's insane. Real quick. Real quick timeout and then yeah. I want the download because I really don't. It's insane. It's crazy. It's the Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. Foreplay and Barfly promotions in conjunction with IGS Hydro and Dr. Bronner's Magic Soaps present Remember Mnemonic Music Marathon. Remember.
Saturday, May 28th, Memorial Day weekend at Longboards in PB. 11 bands from noon to 1 a.m. with the Broken Stem, Solo Blade, Social Club, Danny and the Tramp, Subliminal Trip, Habitat, Zig Zag Jones, Full Blown Stone, Bedford Grove, Super Unloader, and Sprung Monkey. They'll be headlining at 10.30 p.m. and DJ Chuck Mean Hands Prada spins between sets. There'll be great food and drink specials all day long. Remember, Mnemonic Music Marathon. Also supported by the Nug Family, sdgolflessons.com, and FM 94.9. Saturday, May 28th for Remember, Mnemonic Music Marathon at Longboards, 1466 Garnett Avenue in Pacific Beach. For more info, go to longboardgrill.com. Time is precious. Not the one day the baby's bored and the next day they're asking to borrow the car kind of precious. but the precious few days to get an amazing deal on a new Honda. Because the nine-day sale is now on at your Honda dealers of San Diego County. From May 22nd until May 30th, all nine Honda dealers are marking down their inventory. They're starting with a nice selection of some of the most popular cars in San Diego, like the Accord, the 2012 Civic, CR-V, and the all-new Odyssey. They're discounting these cars with once-in-a-year price and lease deals.
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gift card restrictions apply visit jersey mics.com i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 thank you you know what there's probably perfectly good trails right by where i live i'm not getting on any of lauren i'm always the tipsy bridesmaid Woods. I can eat a trough of cantaloupe. Sienna. Is there anything better than picking an Oreo and dunking it in ice cold milk? And Jay. I am not a fan of the handgun. On FM 94.9. So all I know about the Casey Anthony case is that it's big. I know that it's been covered on like 2020, Dateline, all those shows. I don't know anything about it other than this. A little girl went missing and was dead. And the mom is accused of killing her. And the mom is really pretty. Yeah. Which makes it somehow more intriguing.
Well, brace yourself because there's a lot more to the story. Now, I'm going to try to start from the beginning and then go to where we are today. But there's a lot of details. So, you know, if you know anything that I'm not saying, call in because it's a crazy story. Now, the first sign of the missing girl happened July 15th of 2008. And the grandmother of Kaylee, who was two years old, called the police. And in the very first call, she said, I have a possible missing child. Kaylee, who is two, has been missing for a month. That's what started it. And the police are like, what? And it's from the grandmother, not from the mom. Then she calls again the same day. The grandmother calls again and says, there's something wrong. Oh, I have goosebumps talking about it. There's something wrong. I found my daughter's car today, the mother, and it smells like there's been a dead body in the damn car, is what she said. And so those are the two calls. That's what kicks it off. Again, that was July 15th, 2008. Kaylee, the two year old, was last seen June 16th, 2008, almost one month before that. And so now that's the here's the million dollar question. Right. What on earth does mom have to say about that? Well, her story. Oh, no, she's only been missing a couple hours there. I'll get to that because there is something that is, you know, kind of.
a reason for why she wouldn't go to the police. Okay. But okay. So then that happens. Everyone's looking for the body and, uh, They found the body six months later. It was the little girl's skeletal remains. And they were found in the woods about a quarter of a mile from the home of the grandparents. Now, what the mother, Casey, who is the pretty girl you see on TV, what she had been saying this whole time before the body was found was, I left Kaylee with a babysitter. A babysitter was there. Her name is... I'm going to pronounce this wrong. It starts with a Z. Zenaida Gonzalez. Zenaida Gonzalez, she had her. She had her. I don't know. I wasn't even there. Now I come home and Kaylee's gone. Wait, we got to pause because I just want to get this straight. Grandma says Kaylee's been missing for a month. A month. And the mom of Kaylee says, no, she's only been missing since last night. I left her at the babysitter's house. No, she's not saying that.
What is she saying? She's saying a month ago I left her with a babysitter? The babysitter was the last one to see her. I've been looking for her on my own. For a month? I don't know exactly in between those parts because the story didn't get huge until then. So someone will be able to fill in between that part. Yeah, that's what I want to know. I want to know that what does she have to say for the month? I'll tell you. I will get to what I do know that she had to say. She was doing an OJ investigation. Doing her own private investigation. The investigators are like, who is this babysitter? Maybe she knows something. They're trying to track down this babysitter who never existed. There was someone under that name, but she said, I've never even met this woman in my life, nor have I babysat her child. This Casey Anthony just pulled this name out of nowhere is what it looks like because no one knows this babysitter. No one knows of her. Her family doesn't know of her. They don't know who this woman is. So many questions. I'm like, okay, hey, Kaylee's mom, where does she live? Take us to her house. Right. Right. What's her number? Give me proof. What's her phone number? Show me fingerprints of her in your house. You got her phone number because you call her. She's your babysitter. You don't send carrier pigeon. Well, yeah, she's your babysitter.
Now, are you saying that as your babysitter, she would just come pick her up and go? Where did you meet her? Walmart? Right. And so investigators find a woman named Zenaida Gonzalez. And she says, this is ridiculous. And Zenaida Gonzalez filed a defamation suit against Casey Anthony, the mother, saying she's never met her and she lost her job over. This whole thing, this woman, this random woman lost her job over this because then her name is all over news and saying that she was responsible, you know? And so then Casey Anthony countersues her, accusing Gonzalez of attempting to cash in on a high profile case. I mean, the whole thing is insane. So Anthony, now prosecutors think that after Casey Anthony killed her daughter, she stashed her body in the trunk of her Pontiac Sunfire before disposing of it. Okay, I have this huge thing in front of me, so I'm trying to find each little piece that I can put together in order for you. Kaylee's killer, it is clear, prepared some substance in advance that would, quote, render her physically unable to resist. So they have a substance that they believe is chloroform and put that to a little two-year-old's mouth. Where would she get that stuff? Well, let me tell you.
I'll get to it. It's insane. They administered the substance, waited until its effect kicked in, and then applied three pieces of duct tape to the little girl's airflow, cutting off her mouth and her nose, and let nature take its course. Now, when the body was found, like, it was decomposed. I mean... It was bone, skeletal. Skeletal. And it was clear that... It was from the chloroform. Now, during the investigation, they went onto Casey Anthony's computer and found that someone had researched chloroform. The mentioning of chloroform on her computer. Well, you would think. Oh, gosh. And so the biggest hurdle, which is still a question to answer what you were saying earlier, for the defense is the fact that Kaylee had been missing for 31 days before authorities had been alerted. That's the biggest question. Now, another one is... She went to nightclubs. Kaylee went to nightclubs for the entire month. She was texting her friends and they went through all of her phone records. Very rarely did she mention that Kaylee was missing or that she missed her. Nothing like that. She went out partying. There are pictures of her dancing. Not the usual behavior for a mother that's lost her child. You know, doesn't know where she is. Now, also during the time Kaylee was missing, she got a tattoo on her shoulder, which said Bella Vita, which is Italian for beautiful life.
She got that tattooed on her shoulder. Evidence of chloroform was found inside the car, along with a hair that potentially showed signs of decomposition. Now, here's what happened to make people believe, to think, well, maybe that's why Casey didn't. tell the authorities that her daughter was missing. Because in a letter while she was in jail, she wrote a letter saying that she had a history of sexual abuse and blamed her father for abusing her. And so they think, well, maybe she obviously has an issue with, you know, confronting people and alerting authorities when something goes wrong. But she says that her father and her brother sexually abused her. And that's what she said in a letter from jail. Now they've come out and said, that's ridiculous. There's no way. completely insane. Right. But the whole thing is just disgusting. If you're just tuning in, this is the Casey Anthony thing. So let's go on a trial now. Today is the first day. It's been postponed, postponed, postponed. I wonder if it'll be televised. I would think so. Because they usually high profile things like that. They usually televise them. Yeah. So the biggest things to know is, you know, little Kaylee was two. She went missing. It took a month for her to be reported. And it was reported by the grandmother who smelt.
what she described as a dead body in the mother's car. They found the little girl's skeletal remains six months later. And, you know, here we are today. The mother looked up chloroform. That's, you know, how she was killed, the little girl. M1 Brandon from Carlsbad. What do you know? Hey guys, how you doing? Good. Well, I know that the grandma was super involved with the little girl. And because when the mother had the little girl, Casey, I think his little girl's name. Yeah. Kaylee. Kaylee, I'm sorry. She was 22 years old, so she still wanted to go out. So the grandmother pretty much was taking care of the kid. Well, then the mother and the little kid moved to a neighboring town. And every time the grandma would call, the mother of the child would say, oh, she's at her nanny's house. So she's not here right now. Just kept pushing her off. So then after a little while, the grandma started getting suspicious and then really started pushing the issue.
And then the daughter of the grandmother comes to the house one day and says, hey, actually, she's missing. The nanny took her. And she's like, oh, my God, we got to call the cops. And then she asked how long she's been missing. And she said a month. And that's when the grandmother just lost it. So it turns out the way she got the name of this nanny, because the cops went and said, hey, who's this nanny? Where does she live? And they took her to one apartment building. I mean, the daughter took her to an apartment building saying this is where the nanny lives. She didn't live there. Nobody knew her. Took her to another apartment building. The cops. to another building. Still, the nanny didn't live there. It turns out where this girl was hanging out, her friend ran the kind of management office, the apartment building. So she just happened to be in the office and saw an application with that girl's name on it. Holy cow. Just use the name. Holy cow. Oh, my gosh. They tracked down the real Zonada or Zonada, whatever her name is, and she was like, I have no clue what you guys are talking about. Imagine that phone call or that knocking at the door. Hey, Mr. Woods, your name's been named as a... You're the babysitter. Yeah, I'm the babysitter. You're like... Excuse me. She got fired over it. Dude. She's like, I don't babysit. I'm sorry, man, but, you know, that broadened.
Casey, she's done so. Hey, thank you, Brandon, for the call. Yes. Yeah, she is, for sure. She's got to be. Well, she will be. But here's the thing that's so unusual to me and fascinating is that I want to know what the psychological condition is. Of Casey Anthony? Yeah, I think either, it's one of two, either socio or psychopath. She's either a sociopath or a psychopath. Because to be able to do that, you know, to be able to offer her own kid. And then not be able to, you know, to be able to party. Yeah. That's not just a bad person. No. You're not dealing with just a bad person. You're dealing with somebody that is really, really mentally disturbed. You know, you hope she doesn't get the same treatment as the girl, the lady in Houston, Texas did that drowned her three kids in the tub. And she went to a mental institution.
I mean, mental institutions are too good for people like that, in my opinion. Why not just put these kids up for adoption? Yeah, I'll take them. Well, you know what, though? And I know the case that Woods is talking about with the woman in Houston. She had the long hair and the glasses. And she drowned her kids. Now, but I really do think this about that woman in Houston. I really do believe that some people are really, really... mentally disturbed. They're sick. They've still done something terribly wrong, but they're mentally nuts. Are you going to rehab them, though? No, no, no. Dahmer ate people. Yeah, yeah. You don't get crazier than that guy. Wait a minute, though. I think that there was a difference between Dahmer and that woman from Houston who I don't know her name. So do. I don't remember her name, but Susan something. But the reason that I think there's a difference between Dahmer and her is I don't actually think that Jeffrey Dahmer was legally insane. I don't. I don't. I don't think he was insane. Come on. No, dude, there's a bunch of them. Ted Bundy was not legally insane. Come on. No, they weren't. I mean, I used to read all these true crime books.
They weren't legally insane. So being a sociopath or a psychopath doesn't qualify you for legally insane. No, no, no. Six of one, half a dozen. Well, but that lady, that lady in Houston. Yeah. She was more than all that. She was like gone. Yeah. She was gonzo. You have to be. Oh, yeah. She was like gonzo. She was the list of ailments, the list of mental ailments that that woman had. were long and plentiful it wasn't just that she was a sociopath or a psychopath like she had a long list it was a clinical study of insanity yeah that woman you know and with somebody like that you go you know of course they have to be punished but do you put them in a prison or do you put them in a loony bin? Do you want me to tell you what she's facing? Yeah. So besides capital murder, she's facing six other charges. They include aggravated child abuse, aggravated manslaughter of a child, and providing false information to authorities. Now, if she's convicted by the jurors who are seven women, five men, and five alternates, she could be facing the death penalty. Good. And I don't think she's crazy.
I don't think she's crazy. I think that she's either a psychopath or a sociopath. She's a monster. She's pleading not guilty. She's denied harming her daughter and having anything to do with her disappearance. Yeah, well, you know, that's actually good because that means that she'll get the harshest penalty. Because she's not remorseful at all. Well, yeah, if she pleaded guilty, it would be a lesser penalty if she pleaded guilty to it. Yeah, life in prison. Yeah, probably. So it happened in Florida. It's a killing factory. Oh, absolutely. She's infesting it. And her monster of a lawyer is trying to paint this picture that because she was abused, that's why she didn't report it. Isn't that convenient? Isn't that convenient that she writes that letter while incarcerated? Oh, by the way, I was sexually assaulted. M1, cave dweller from Wisconsin. Good morning again, guys. Good morning. I think I've mentioned it a couple times before. Neurology, biopsychology, these are the kind of things that I'm studying for my degree. Right. The sociopath and psychopath are essentially the same thing. It falls under antisocial personality disorder. That's a pretty severe diagnosis. There's a lot of criteria that you have to meet, and it's entirely possible that if she did have this, that we'd already know about it. That's what I thought. I don't think she's nuts. She's just a monster. The scary thing is, according to the FBI,
crime statistics, the vast majority of violent crimes are committed by people who have no psychological problems whatsoever. They have a normal psychological profile. So it's really scary because anybody's capable of doing that. She may have some kind of disorder or something like that, but generally if someone has antisocial personality disorder, it's known pretty quick. You can't really hide it. It's a complete lack of remorse or empathy, very manipulative behavior. You know, it's not something that you can hide because that person, they stick out. And there's a history of criminal problems or domestic problems, fraud, that kind of thing. Yeah, she sounds like she's just a monster. Thank you for the call. He's a smart dude. Let's see. M1 John from Miramar. Hello. Hi. I was just calling in because I disagree about how you feel that like Dahmer or Bundy should end up in prison and people who murder their children should be able to go to the insane asylum. No, I didn't say that people that murder their children should be able to go to the insane asylum. I talked about one specific woman that murdered her children. I'm not saying that people that murder their children.
You don't think that, like, Dahmer or Bundy were insane? No, I don't. In fact, if you heard the call before us, the guy that's studying this, and all I got is all the books that I used to read. I used to read a lot of true crime books. When FBI profilers talk to a majority of these serial killers, they are perfectly sane. They have a lust. For blood. And they have bloodlust. And they have very, very abusive pasts. And they have all of these different things in their past. But they're not nuts. They're not crazy. There are people who do kill that are crazy. Like legitimately like done gonzo insane. That woman in Houston that Woods was talking about. She was actually. Casey Anthony, she don't sound insane. She sounds like a freaking monster. She's not crazy. She's a monster. A manipulative monster. I buy that, actually. Thanks. One more thing, too, is the prosecution, although have a lot of things on their side, you know, for the fact that she didn't report her daughter missing for 31 days, they do face some hurdles. One is because the little girl's body was found in skeletal remains, you can't prove how they died, the cause of death, when you're dealing with
skeletal remains. Exactly. So the cause of Kaylee's death was homicide by undetermined means, meaning there is no cause of death. And sometimes it's not that uncommon that cases are acquitted because the prosecution doesn't have the cause of death. Yeah. I mean, that happens. It's not unheard of. Yeah. I mean, you're looking in a case like that for a reasonable doubt. And, you know, motive is in question always. I mean, if you don't have a motive, it's hard to convict somebody. Pretty good motive, though. The motive to go out and party and prove that she has been. But like Sienna said, also in a case like that, cause of death. How did she die? You can't prove it. Yeah, I looked up chloroform, but prove I use chloroform on my daughter. You can't. That's a huge hurdle for them, I think. Yeah, you found a hair. in in the back of of my car did it have chloroform in it sure it doesn't mean i did it yeah i mean it's just it's like you know the defense they'll find that juror though you find that one hole though dude and you as a juror mike and me or lob or cnrj if there is reasonable doubt you have to acquit
That's our system. That's our system. But, man, you got a hard time convincing me a reasonable doubt if there's chloroform in that hair. That's a hard thing to get past. And that reporting it for an entire month, your little girl's missing. You do anything in your power to find. Dude, I agree with you. I'm just saying this is how people are like, just cut out. Just walk free. I'll say, too, that. Even if you are crazy, I would still put you to death. If you kill your little girl and you're just cuckoo crazy, I don't care. You're going down. We don't want you rehabilitated. We want you gone. I don't think they're trying to rehabilitate. You know, rehabilitation infers that you make them better and then let them go. Clearly, some people are never to be let go. They're going to be institutionalized the rest of their life. But why? Research? Well, no. I mean, I guess because... Humanity? They didn't have... I think that it's humane of us. You know, honestly. I think that we... I don't think that we can be animals. You know? I mean, I don't... Yes, when somebody of right mind, like I believe... Casey Anthony. Casey Anthony is. I believe she's of right mind. Yeah.
And made a willful decision to do something evil. And somebody that is. Does not have their mental capacity. I think that it's barbaric. To take somebody that doesn't. Yes what they did was horrible. They need to be removed from society. But. They're crazy. I could keep going with even more things, but another thing that I thought you guys would want to know is there was a stain in the trunk, and they tested the stain, and it was negative for DNA as well as for the presence of blood or any other bodily fluid. So they're saying there's no proof whatsoever that that's a biological stain. It could have been from garbage or a gas can or something like that. But cadaver dogs... picked up the scent of human decomposition in the trunk, and testing showed the presence of chloroform. So those things were discovered in the trunk, but no DNA. Wow. Releases and also what a guy found in the attic of his new home after he had just bought it, and it's something pretty cool, and he did something that not a lot of us would do. This is The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Sold out. FM 94.9. Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. This.
Sunday, June 5th. Push Inside Pier Amphitheater. Presented by Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste Greatness. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Leaky Lee. Peter, Bjorn, and John. Band of Skulls. Everest. Performing on the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodile. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. And performing wherever he can plug in. Low bolts. You can't buy tickets, but we will be giving some away. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness. A special thanks to Grubby's and Los Tacos for helping to support this year's Independence Jam. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside with FM 94.9. I'm test driving a BMW 5 Series today, and I am taking it as far as it goes. Single tank of gas up to 32 miles per gallon highway. That is almost 600 miles up. Brought my own music on the car's 12-gig hard drive. That's a lot of guitar solos. Used Google Maps to line up some great stops on the way. Man's got to eat. Set directions straight from my laptop to the car. Oh, really? A fruit truck just pulled in front of me. Strawberry jam. Averted.
And fuel saved. See, when you hit the brakes, the unused energy gets stored, creating power without using fuel. Now let's find some open road. I suggest you do the same. The test drive of the 5 Series today. Oh, here's a curve that I'd love to save some fuel on. Up to 2232 City Highway MPG based on EPA estimates. For a limited time, lease the BMW 528i sedan for $579 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. Cox Advanced TV is way more than just TV. It's the absolute best seat in the house with free HD channels. Cox Advanced TV is a 3D movie theater playing the hottest new releases up to 28 days before Netflix or Redbox. And with MyPrimeTime, it's also a TV genie that puts the shows you miss at your command whenever you want to watch them. Plus, add Whole Home DVR and you can pause, fast forward, and rewind your shows, movies, and sporting events from any room in the house.
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See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Horn Motors of Crossband, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, or visit SoCalMB.com. Hold off on mowing the lawn again, because this summer, Las Vegas is delivering big time. There are outdoor concerts from the Doobie Brothers to the Flaming Lips, and the indoor venues host icons Garth Brooks and Britney Spears. Do as the rich and famous do by hitting up the NHL Awards or the day club pool parties at Rehab, Encore Beach Club, and Wet Republic, just to name a few. Life is short. Summer is shorter. Go to VisitLasVegas.com to plan your summer escape. And the winner of the 33rd Annual Pumpkin Way Off is Ethel Herbert! A 1,524-pound pumpkin. Amazing! Oh, thank you. What's your secret? Frank's Red Hot. I put that s*** in. on everything. Frank's Red Hot Sauce goes on anything. Its aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to jambalaya, ribs, collard greens, steaks, fries, sausage, onion rings, crab legs, chicken, chili, and even prized pumpkins. Frank's Red Hot Sauce. I put that on everything. Oh, no, they didn't. Oh, yes, they did. Denny's put bacon on ice cream, covered it with maple syrup.
A maple bacon sundae. Just one of seven new dishes during Baconaglia. Denny's celebration of bacon. Come in now or anytime. America's Diner is always open. Prices and participation may vary. A blown tire. Overheated engine. Empty gas tank. There's mayhem on the road. That's why you need roadside assistance. What you don't need... is to pay a fee even if you don't use it. Introducing Good Hands Roadside Assistance from Allstate. You'll never pay a dime unless you use it. And it's open to everyone, not just Allstate customers. Go to allstate.com slash roadside to register and get important information. Grubby's is proud to be a sponsor for this year's Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. While you're at the concert, make sure to stop by the Grubby's booth and experience the best burgers in North County. For a limited time, BMW will make your first three payments on select certified pre-owned BMWs. Visit your local BMW center today or go to sdcountybmw.com slash cpo for details. K-K-B-Z-T San Diego. But Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey.
I have a sore in my mouth because I stabbed myself with a hard French fry yesterday. You might be a redneck. Lauren. I might be allergic to oats. Woods. I think it'd be safe to say I'm a jock sniffer. Zienna. I don't care. Yeah. I want a thank you card to come in the mail to show me I went out of my way to help her. She should go out of her way for five minutes. And Jay. The only thing I don't like about hockey is the fights. Fights? Oh, it's fun. On FM 94.9. All right, we got new releases coming up in just a second. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, a book, a tell-all book about Sarah Palin is out today. It's called Blind Allegiance to Sarah Palin, a memoir of our tumultuous years. Now, I will say, let me tell you, remember yesterday the guy called in and pleaded out and he said, I can't believe that you guys are talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger's affair when the bigger issue with Schwarzenegger should be,
What happened with him pardoning Nunez? Right. And I was like, oh, really? Are you so above the fact that you're not interested in the fact that he fathered a child with their maid? Who lived there. Who lived there. Two days apart. Two days. A couple days apart, basically, from his wife getting pregnant. He had sex with a woman that looks like a man with a wig. Stop. That's the part that gets me. That got me, too. Oof. Real good. Anyway. This. I actually do go, who cares? I would never be interested in a tell-all. I'd be more interested in a tell-all book about Orville Redenbacher. I said to Woods, I said, anybody ever write tell-alls? It's like the new thing. I really would rather read a tell-all about Orville Redenbacher than Sarah Palin. That'd be the greatest line I've ever heard. This book is based on tens of thousands of emails that Frank Bailey had between he and Sarah Palin and the inner circle. It's Frank Redenbacher. Who names are kid horrible, by the way? Who has the last name Redenbacher? Redenbacher. Because there's never been another Redenbacher since then. It's like you don't run into a lot of Sean Hitlers. That's true. You know what I mean? That name stopped then.
You don't meet Redenbachers. You don't meet Hitlers. You don't meet Stalins. There's not Cindy Stalin working down the hall in accounting. It's freaking hysterical. Also, this is pretty funny. Jose Canseco apparently has a love for Lady Gaga. Would you like to know what he said about her on Twitter? I love Lady Gaga. Wish I could meet her. Wouldn't marry her in a second. Lady Gaga is the truth. Get used to it. Her song Judas is what we fight with every day since we are born evil. I am her knight in baseball armor. She is the queen. Misspelled knight, by the way. Yeah, N-I-G-H-T. How many tweets was that? He's a king clown. He, like of all the clowns, he has the scepter, the robe. Big floppy shoes. Big floppy shoes, man. What's going on in sports? Well, if you didn't hear earlier, the Padres dropped another one last night. They are 8-19 at Petco Park. They are struggling. They also sent down Will Venable, who was supposed to be their leadoff hitter, starting right fielder this year. He's batting .224. He's been replaced by Blake Takat, a 24-year-old left-handing.
Left-handed hitting center fielder. Yeah, they lost 3-1 to the Cardinals last night. Just brutal. And then North Turner did an interview recently, and he was basically saying what his wishes are for the upcoming season. And what he said is the Chargers need to be a more complete team. So the special teams on kickoff need to inspire the defense that is now coming on the field. The defense needs to make stop. Stops to inspire the offense. They have to feed off of each other. They have to play as one whole unit and stop being separate. I agree with you. As do I. My name is Mikey and I'm the host of the show. I'm 40. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 35. Lauren O'Brien, otherwise known as L.O.B., is 30 years old. And she is a comedian and also... our assistant producer. Sienna is 26 and she's our news girl. Jay's our producer. He's 47. And our phone screener is Chris. That's correct. One Jennifer wrote on our fan page, regardless if they are quote unquote legally insane or whatever they claim, if they're killing a child, their own child,
they should by all means be executed and stop all the BS. I agree. If we put them in a mental institution, we are now paying to keep them alive. For what? They didn't even give their child a chance at life, but we're going to give them the option to live? That's a great point. Hell no. I'm on Jenny Guns. Well, here's my take. You know, when she says... Regardless if they are, quote unquote, legally insane, unquote, or whatever they claim. Now, instantly there, I see that she believes that the insanity part is BS. And when she says, or whatever they claim, okay. I'm not talking about somebody that goes, I want to, you know. Eat my own toes. And I, my name is Cracker Jackson. I live in a cardboard box in Michael Jackson's nose. And just makes up weird stuff and tries to pretend that they're crazy. I'm not talking about that person, M1 Jennifer. I'm talking about a genuine kookball. Somebody that is off their rocker. Unlike Ted Bundy. Unlike Jeffrey Dahmer. Unlike Arthur Shawcross.
Unlike a lot of these guys that were serial killers that actually went to work and people worked with them next to them and had no idea that they were freaks because they weren't legally insane. They just had bloodlust. Ted Bundy worked at a suicide hotline. Yes. I read the book by the lady he worked next to for like five years. It's called The Stranger Beside Me. Yeah, Ann Rule. Ann Rule. Fascinating. She worked next to him at the suicide hotline in Seattle and they were friends. And he would ask her every once in a while because he knew she was following these cases that were happening around King County. And he would ask her, hey, how are they doing on that case? And she would go, you know, they're not. And he would go, you know, I know you're talking to a lot of those detectives. Are they getting any closer to finding anybody on that thing? Imagine that. And then she found out, yeah, the guy that worked next to her was Ted Bundy. She knew Ted. But what I'm talking about is Andrea Yates, the woman in Houston that killed her five kids. This was not a woman that could go to work and who you would work next to and say, oh, I never would have suspected. So surprised. She was a loon of all loons.
Who really should have been in trouble was her husband, who wasn't a loon and didn't have her institutionalized before she could ever hurt anybody, including herself. And now she's in a room with padded walls and she's in a loony bin and she's going to spend the rest of her life in a loony bin. Unlike Casey Anthony, who, if the law has its way, she's not insane, will be executed. Personally, if somebody's really a lunatic, they're really like cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. If they kill someone, I think it's very, very tragic. But I think they need to be put into a loony bin. I don't think that they're served. I think it's just as barbaric to put that person in gen pop because they're not okay up there. They're sick. Take them out. I'd take them down. I don't care if you're crazy or not. You kill somebody, you get killed. Natural selection? Yes. Natural selection. You rape somebody, you abuse a kid, you're done. But you don't go right from the courtroom to the, you know, execution chambers. So, like Mike said, putting them with the general population, you know. In my world, they would. They'd just go right to the woods. In Perfectville. That's right. Take them right to the perfect woods. Hey, listen. I volunteered. They won't let me do it. I tried. I said I got a bon era.
And they said, well, first of all, we wouldn't let you do it with a bow and arrow. I said, well, not. I'll do it with a BB gun. I'll shoot them over and over and over in the same spot. 555 BBs will do the job. All day long. Remember old Yeller? I volunteered. That's right. Nobody else can do it. Everybody wanted to be a big wuss about it. I'll put Yeller down. I don't have a problem. No problem. I didn't even take the credit for it. Woods, you call me when one of your dogs gets sick. I got you. Yeah. Woods, you can say it with somebody else. I don't have to take the heat. I'll do it. Rebecca, you call me if Mike gets sick. That's right. I'll be there. Did you have a little cold this morning? Listen, here's what I'm going to do, Rebecca. I'll come over. I'll leave a 38 next to Mike with a little note that says, it'll be better this way. All right? Now, none of us know nothing. We got each other's backs. I'll do it. I'll help you. I help you. I'm here to help. I'm just here to help. Did you get secret audio of that conversation? Sounds just like that. Let's see. Woodsy, what do we have today in the new releases department? We have so much today. Give it to us. Look, a printed list. You're so good. Everything's all printed and ready. The new Foster the People album is out. Torches. I liked this artist better when he was called Taco.
Putting on the Ritz. Against Me has a new album out. It's called Total Clarity. It's a demos collection. I got it in his mouth. It's no Miley Cyrus. Art Brute. Brilliant Tragic. It's the same record? He's dropped your gun. Oh, here's another. I need that back. Putting the entire remote control in his mouth. Who knew it fit? Oh. The new white denim. It's jammed. Your gun's jammed? The new white denim. D. I love that kind of voice. Love it. That makes sense to me. To me, music is like math, and it just has to all add up. That adds up. Yeah. That's really cool. But some other stuff to me is like a bunch of numbers just thrown in a bucket. It's a calculus. Yeah.
I had this on there. I don't think Jay put it on there, but Lady Gaga did release her new album yesterday in its entirety. Of course, she has to be different. It was released yesterday when typically new releases come out on Tuesday. So feast on that, Born This Way. And then for Sienna, the new Brad Paisley is out. This is country music. Is it? To Tennessee and won the lottery. I drive down to a Ford dealership. buy myself a brand new Ford F-150, then go down to Walmart, get the new Brad Paisley CD, and just drive around listening to that. You fit right in. Yeah, I think it's fine. I don't have any problems with that. Why not just go to a local record store? Oh, I could do that too. He's not gruff. For Graw? No, he's not gruff. He's not gruff enough for me. He's too clean cut to be country. I know what it is. No, no, no, no. I have it figured out. Do you?
all right fine what do you got i believe that you believe that he had too easy of a life no and good looking yeah yeah and woods would be more into him if this guy had like had some down and outs oh yeah and that's what real country is all about man is the down and outs that's too that's way too happy to be good this guy good country like this guy went to asu or yeah yeah absolutely he was like hitting on sorority girls. He was a Sigma Chi. Yeah, absolutely. He watched the movie Father of the Bride, thought the daughter was hot, and is now married to her. Oh, yeah. True story. He is out as far as real country music goes. You want a guy. That was raised on a farm. With a needle in his arm. Right. That's what I want. And whose mama died when he was like eight. Absolutely. Had to sleep with the hogs. Had to sleep with the hogs. And then, like, his uncle took care of him for a while. Taught him to guitar. Taught him to guitar. He moved to Colorado. He hitchhiked to Colorado. Hitchhiked to Colorado. Oh, dude. When he was 17. That's country. Hooked up with a girl. Got her pregnant. They're still together today, by the way. But he cheats on her. But he cheated on her. Yeah. And it broke his heart. Broke her heart. They worked it out. You know why?
Because they're born country. That's a good-ass country record right there, my friend. Country strong. That's right. They're country strong. The new Friendly Fires is out. Also hooked on heroin. Paula. Let me just grab these two big, giant, blue... Yippity-hops. Yippity-yop. What else? Oh, boy. Brace yourselves, my friends. New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boy. Let me give you the title of this album. N-K-O-T-B-S-B. BS? SB. Why does it say SB? This is them together? Backstreet Boys is BSB. Oh, yes, you're right. This is them together. Recording together, or is it just new kids? Yes. They're on tour together. Everything you need is better. Rock your body now. I'm thinking Mike can put some love expression. It's a mashup. This is not new? It's new. They just mix it together? Yeah, but they have an album out together.
It's called N-K-O-T-B-S-B. Oh, see, I want to hear what their new stuff sounds like. That's it. They just took their old material and mixed it together? Apparently. Obviously. Some of it's mashed up. Some of it's just new stuff they've done together. Fascinating. Because they can't go into a studio and be like, tell me why. Ain't nothing but a party. Tell me why. You got the right stuff, baby. You got the thing with the deal. The new She Wants Revenge, Valley Heart. Sounds like Seal. You know you're never going to survive. It's good. Should I get that for your birthday, Mike? Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. I'm a jerk because I like Miley Cyrus music. And that right there is a ripoff of about 40 80s bands. Sure. Okay. Fair enough. This is the new Thurston Moore. Thurston Moore is one of the founders of Sonic Youth. It's called Demolish Thoughts. Is that it? That's what you get. There's nothing else on there? Just instrumental? There's no singing? Did we hear a different clip? I heard two clips when I tried to load it and they were mostly instrumental. Yeah, very pretty. Here's a new band out. See what you guys think of these guys. They're from Portland. Blah. They're called...
wheeled guitar, all right? Indie band. See what you think, all right? And I want you to be open-minded. Will you be open-minded? Probably not. You're not. I will be. I can't tell if you're doing a bit or not. He's doing a bit. I know damn well he's doing a bit. I'm doing a bit. Who's the guitar? No, it's Seals and Croft. Yeah, sounds good. I just picked a weird song from an old Seals and Croft album, and guess what? Sounds just like the stuff we're hearing right now. What's wrong with that? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. That's right. What did you say they were called? Wheeled guitars? That's genius. Here's the new one from... Just had his eyeballs removed and replaced with glass. And they're going to showcase at a coffee shop called...
coffee shop, Tramp Monkeys. Introduce that as a new band. There's no question. Did you want to hear the DVDs? Yes. Did all kinds of research for you. What do you got? Gnomeo and Juliet. It's an animated family film based on Bill Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, obviously. Voiced by James McAvoy and Emily Blunt. I Am Number Four is out today. Was written by Pitticus Lore, which is the pseudonym for... Oh, it is Pitticus Lore. It's James Fry, actually. He teamed up and wrote this movie. And Nanette is a documentary of a 40-year-old orangutan. Feast. There is a woman claiming that Michael Jackson gave her VD. Oh. Harry, will you do your Michael Jackson invitation? Oh, boy. Uh-oh. Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of cult? On FM 94.9. If a car drove by recently that made you point and say, how cool, what is that? Chances are you spotted the all-new Ford Fiesta.
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Available only to qualify customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through May 31, 2011. Equipment described as optional. Call 1-800-F4-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Horn Motors of Crossbed, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Mercedes-Benz of San Diego, or visit SoCalMB.com. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love guacamole. Lauren. And I'm a klutz and an idiot. Woods. I cry more than my wife. Sienna. I would just scream, not because I was sad, just to hear myself scream. And Jay. I like my coffee black. On FM 94.9. Mike Rebecca's going to be bummed to find out that they stopped making Advil cold and sinus. It's too bad. Yeah, I don't know what happened. It must have been something bad because they stopped making it. Now they make Advil congestion relief. That cold and sinus was like a miracle. Yeah, people used to make meth out of it, though. They did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a problem. You didn't? Yeah, you didn't. No. Yeah, you used to have to take the little cardboard thing that said Advil cold and sinus and take it to the front, and then they'd give it to you. Maybe that's why it felt so good. Yeah, well, it fixed you up. Fixed you up real nice. Not that meth, I'm not saying, like, I'm not advocating meth use. Not at all. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Can I ask you a question, Woods? No. Oh, boy. Yeah. It's me, Michael Jackson. I know who it is. Hi, Michael. How come you hate me so much? You know, I just think... What do you think? I think that my friend Mike does so many other voices that are so good that we don't hear enough of. But what does it have to do with me, Michael Jackson? You know, I don't know. It's just not my fave. He's a very, Michael Esparza is a very talented guy. He's a very good friend of mine. He's a very good friend of mine and yours. And I like him a lot. I know you do. He's a sweet guy. He's a sweet kid. I just think it's so rude that every time I come in, he makes such an a-hole out of me. It's not fair. The shoe fits, man. Beat it. Beat it. And we should take a vote. Oh, really? No, you're going to jump in on it? I really love when you do the sneeze bit. I know. Do you have allergies or something? It's my favorite bit. You said something about cold and sinus. Why don't you shove it? Sneeze. Please don't sneeze. Please don't sneeze. Wes told me, L.O.B., that you hate me too. No, but it sounds like Jay might. So I thought maybe, well, let's put it up for a while. No, I love Michael. Yeah, Jay likes me, man. He's always been a best supporter. Jay's afraid of you.
That's why, Michael. He's not afraid of me. No, no. He tells me. He wants to kill you. No. No, he likes me, man. I'd go to Neverland and hang out with you. Of course you would. Drink some Jesus juice. Oh, man. They don't have that there. Yeah, they do. They do? Oh, yeah. Do they? That's what he called it. It'll be ever listening to news. You never heard that? Jesus. I heard a lot of things about Michael Jackson. Jesus juice. Never Jesus juice. He gave the kids wine, told them it was Jesus juice. And then he did his thing. Yeah, that's another thing. I'm just not a big fan of his. Allegedly. Well, I guess that just kind of changed everything. It's hard to go on doing a Michael Jassen bit when people talking about wine and kids and molestation. Well, Michael, in all fairness, Woods walks around in his boxer shorts for the whole neighborhood to see kids, old people. A lady passed by the mailbox in the car with her kids in it and gave me a dirty look.
It's all fun and games, so you have to register for Megan's Law. It's true. Wow. She even brought May's Law into it. She's not messing around. Trying to shame him. Trying to shame him. She's not messing around with her molestation talk issue. Not going to shame me one bit. So, you have a cold or? Allergies? You can do the thing with the thing. You know, man, it's times like this that I really miss the show. I love you, Michael. I love you, and your sneeze is my favorite. Man, where's Eddie and Ashley giving me that fake laugh? Do they love you, Michael? Man, they give me that fake laugh, make me think I was funny. Well, see, you know, there is not too much that my friend Micah Sparza doesn't make me laugh. We're very much on the same page. When it comes to Michael Jackson, I'm just kind of... You can shove it, man. You don't get it.
I get it. I get it. You don't. I'm going to have Sky explain it to you. I totally get it. I totally get it. What the hell happened out at Skyline, man? This murder thing that happened out at Skyline where they're still trying to figure out what happened. They know it had something to do with a swimming pool. Three bodies found. This morning. Yeah, by the swimming pool. Here in San Diego. That is so wild. I know. The story is still sort of, you know, they're still trying to figure it out. Here, let's check in. There's also another body that was found inside the house. The cause of death is unknown at this time. Now, we talked to quite a few neighbors. They said that they noticed suspicious activity here, but they don't really know what is going on. And there were some high school students that stopped by who seemed to be connected to one of the victims in the house, and they seemed very distraught. They were with this girl at 9 o'clock last night, and here's what they had to say to us. She's a senior, and I'm a freshman, so she was just always nice to me, like in the halls. I mean, I'm younger, so seniors are always kind of ruder, but she always hung out with me and treated me well. All right, we'll continue following this breaking news story. We'll be back in less than 30 minutes with another one. Suspicious behavior in the house. I don't know, it makes me think that there's some kind of drugs or something. Always, right? You hear that, suspicious activity.
It's what it always is. Okay, so there's a woman claiming that Michael Jackson gave her VD. Yes. Now, his estate, Michael Jackson's estate, has been hit with the lawsuit. $10 million is how much this woman is trying to sue Michael Jackson's estate for. She says that in the 1970s, she slept with Michael Jackson. Did she? And says that he gave her an STD that has ruined her life. She said that the only sexual partner she's ever had was Michael Jackson. Her name is Shelly Smith. And she says that, you know, she began to have sexual relationships with him right after she went into detail about the symptoms, which I don't want to say. Oh, wow. She said, at this time, I am unable to have a full and vibrant life due to the complications of this disease. I didn't. It's not true. Right, Costa? Tell me. Stop it, MJ. What? I love you. Jay loves you. You love me. Jay does. Jay loves me. Man. I got to find all former Clear Channel employees just to get one person. I'm on the fence. I'm not.
Sneeze. It will win her over. Really? Do a real sneeze. I'm not on the fence. The sneeze is my favorite, Woods. Why'd you have to do that? Woods has so many voices that he does. I do. I'm more than you. That was me. Do you want to do a voice-off? Please. Do a hair-off? Let's do a fat-off. That's why I get myself for that one. Let's be friends. Let's do a B-off. In. I would be. You're just going to make it more uncomfortable today? So fun. Is Hillary here yet? Weird. It never happens. Mikey, I took a little time to listen to the program and I think I've come up with a problem. It's all of you. You all hate each other. You're all sucky.
What is a Mervin? And would you wear one? No, no, it's not. My mom used to buy all my clothes at Mervins. Didn't you used to drink Mervin and Coke? Tell you what it is next. You got to come out. I felt so good when I was going to get the same. Mikey Show on FM 94.9. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. Get this. Sunday, June 5th. Push Inside Pier Amphitheater. Presented by Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste Greatness. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Leaky Lee. Peter, Bjorn, and John. Band of Skulls. Everest. Performing on the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. The Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. And performing wherever he can plug in. Low Bolt. You can't buy tickets.
but we will be giving some away. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness. A special thanks to Grubby's and Los Tacos for helping to support this year's Independence Jam. See you on Sunday, June 5th in Oceanside with FM 94.9. We're back, and the folks at McDonald's drop by the studio. With the new jalapeno cheddar McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and the new cheddar onion McChicken sandwich. Ooh, and from the looks of these beauties, $1.49 is a real deal. I see your jalapeno cheddar McChicken has melted white cheddar, and is that hot jalapeno salsa? Oh, wow, spicy. I did not see that coming, McDonald's. Oh, and the grilled onions on this cheddar onion McChicken are incredible. Big, cheesy taste. Hey, switch with me. I like a take-charge man. I like a lady who's... Cut to commercial. McDonald's new spicy jalapeno cheddar McChicken and savory cheddar onion McChicken. The simple joy of cheesy deliciousness with spicy jalapeno salsa or grilled onions. Just $1.49 each. That was so tasty. You got a little cheese on your... That's not cheese. It's an onion. Price and participation may vary. Try McDonald's new frozen strawberry lemonade from McCafe. Tangy frozen lemonade mixed with a sweet strawberry swirl is a refreshing icy treat. New frozen strawberry lemonade starting at just $1.69 now at McDonald's.
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I'm Darla. I'm a Fresh and Easy neighborhood market customer. This message is by a real customer, not a celebrity. Saving money we pass on to you. I've always told people about Fresh and Easy. I tell them all the fresh stuff I get. I'll come in here and I'll see something else. That looks interesting. Let me try it. As my husband said, I'm the guinea pig. I've never had a Fresh and Easy product that I didn't like. Thanks, Fresh and Easy. Thanks, Darla. You just saved us some money. Now we can offer low prices on the newest season of fruits. Enjoy sweet nectarines and peaches for just 98 cents a pound. Cue a grill. Cue the open enthusiastic chef with the lighter fluid. Cue the steaks, breasts, thighs. Cue the amigos bearing generous libations. Cue the fumbled bottle of Jose Cuervo. Cue the crowd's gasp. Cue the slow motion dive. Cue the catch. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Special Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Hugh Blind Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the Tremark owner. And the winner... of the 33rd Annual Pumpkin Weigh Off is... A 1,524-pound pumpkin. Amazing. Oh, thank you. What's your secret? Frank's Red Hot. I put that s*** on everything. Frank's Red Hot sauce goes on anything. Its aged cayenne peppers add real flavor to jambalaya, ribs, collard greens, steaks, fries, sausage, onion rings, crab legs, chicken, chili, and even prized pumpkins. Frank's Red Hot sauce. I put that s*** on everything. Now back to...
The Mikey Show. With Mikey. I'm a right-wing NRA guy. Lauren. Yes, I'm gullible. We get it. No, we don't. Give me a break. Woods. No, I don't play online. Because why? I don't like to play other people. Why? Because I'm selfish. Sienna. You know, I really don't even know what color my hair is. It's like brown, red. There's a little bit of blonde. It changes. And Jay. You didn't use nails when you made that treehouse? Yeah, I didn't want to hurt the tree with nails going in. On FM 94.9. Who's that? They were real good and they broke up. Who would he have? It's a band called Acceptance. Acceptance. I heard them on a video game. They had this album called Phantoms. It's really good. And they broke up. Happens. Sucks. They can't get along or something. Hear it and I go, why don't you guys just work it out? Yeah, get in a room. Hammer it out. Yeah. And see what happens. Because you guys make good stuff, you know? It's just figured out. Talk about it. I figured you out. Figured you out. So a guy.
Well, first of all, we got to talk about the Mervin. All right. What's a Mervin? A Mervin is a male fashion turban. Oh, Mikey. Yes. Why Mikey? Why? Why not? Because I don't wear a turban. Don't you? No. TB? Turbans? I mean, Bahamas? You're up on the male fashion. Yes. That's why. Is that why? Mm-hmm. It's so strange. It'd be like, it was so random if I said, you know, something about... You know, cooking oil. What? Fair enough. That would make sense. If anyone were to wear the Mervin, it would be you. Absolutely. You have a Merse and a nightgown, so you'd be more likely to wear the Mervin. That's not true. I have a nightgown. You have a man purse. No, I don't have a man purse. You used to. We shamed you out of it. No, no, no, no, no, no. If I still carried my laptop in and out of the studio, I would still use my laptop bag. That has a giant strap on it that looks like a Louis Vuitton. No, it doesn't. It looked like a computer bag. With bedazzled beads on it. Yes. There was no bedazzling beads on it. Rosie O'Donnell is the same one. No, she doesn't. It's from Neiman Marcus. It isn't. It was from an Apple store. And it was just an average computer bag. It had Hello Kitty all over it. It didn't.
There was no girl stuff in it. There was no tampons. There was no nail polish. There was nothing girly in it. It could hold your Mervin in there if you needed extra space. Show him the picture. See if he'll change his mind. I can't. You have to. He's going to give ass. No, it's perfect. Look. How dare you? How dare you? The king and I? A German fashion designer named Karl Lagerfeld. Oh, you know him. Carl Lagerfeld. Who doesn't? Lagerfeld. I used to have his cologne. Yeah, me too. Weird. He just debuted it in a catwalk fashion show for Chanel. Wins just said delicious. Smells delicious. For cologne. Smells delicious. For cologne. Okay. That was good stuff. Maybe that's our next bit. We send somebody to Subway with a merkin on. A merkin? A merkin? A merkin? You voted. Let's farting. Oh, my God. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. I like when Jay realizes that he made a mistake. And he's like, uh-oh. Uh-oh. Backpedal, backpedal. Smirking. Smirking. He should be roommates with Andrea Yates. In the loony bin. In the bin. Please stop farting in this table. I know. Please, for the love of God. It was an accident. So, tomorrow is the last day of Oprah ever.
I don't know what my wife's going to do. 9-2. Yesterday, Tom Cruise paid tribute to her. I had the great fortune of growing up with... This is inside of like an arena? Yes. Giant place. Four women, my mother and sisters, all loved your show. I don't think you could possibly understand how excited they were when I first went on your show in 1988. You look like you were 10 at the time. I know. Isn't it a bit narcissistic to hold the last episodes in an arena instead of just your audience? Isn't it a bit narcissistic to put your face on the cover of every magazine which also has your name? They're looking at a picture of him where he is. He does look very young. I watched it last night on my couch. I boo-hooed. You did? I did. All right, 12. 12. You look 12. And what was that with my hair? Wow.
Well, since then, I've been on the show 12 times. I'm lucky enough to be 12 times. I'll say it again, 12 times. I knew coming to Chicago that I was going to see a loving friend. He's going to jump on a couch. And a friend who just happened to have a classroom of millions. And Oprah, you shared your own lessons with us and the spotlight on some of the greatest teachers. For a quarter of a century, Oprah, you have quoted Glinda the Good Witch. Yes, I love Glinda. Okay, you all... I... Woke up from a nap yesterday, and I turned on the TV. I turned on the TV, and this special was on. And I go, I looked. There was Oprah. There was Tom Cruise next to her, like, rubbing or consoling her. And they were passing the mic around the audience. And a girl grabs the mic and goes, Oprah, I just want to say that because of you, every morning now, I get up, and I look in the mirror, and I say, good morning, beautiful. You can do this.
You're beautiful. She was a 12 year old. Not that one. I almost vomited. It was really over the top. I almost vomited. I can do that. You're beautiful. She was passing the mic around. This girl was like a pretty girl. The whole thing was just like... worshipping at the altar of Oprah. I mean, it was really over the top. My mom and I watch you every day for 15 years. And then you see Tom, they flash to Tom and Oprah. And Oprah's not, like, upset. She's not crying. She should maybe a tear or two. Maybe one. Well, yeah, she's heard it a million times. Listen, the bottom line is that the effect that I've had on you... Is no different than the effect I've had on millions of other people. Exactly. And so you really have to do something crazy to get my attention. And that creepy Tom Cruise sitting next to her just rubbing her back. I looked at her and I go.
Oh, my gosh. Really? Like, how full of yourself are you? So what happens tomorrow? Well, today is the second half of this huge thing from the United Center. Does she blow up the United Center at the end of it? Does she blow it up? And then buys it. I'm not up here. You get a United Center. You get a United Center. She's going to give everybody $1 million under their seat. Maybe. So since it seats 19,000 people, it only cost her $190 million. She's fine. It's insane. I watched it. It was blown away. Over the top. Madonna came out and was like, you are the one living woman who I look up to. She's a talk show host. It was like she was Mother Teresa. She has done a lot with charity. Philanthropist. Oh, yeah. And she's filmed every second of it, too. Believe me. I saw her give a nickel to a guy once. There was a camera crew on her. Trust me. A nickel. A nickel. And polished it off and handed it to him. You guys get that? It's ridiculous. I don't know what my wife is going to watch when she's cooking dinner anymore. It's her daily bit. Do you think there's going to be a race to fill that void? It's going to be really interesting to see what the network's come up with. I'm going to apply. I want to be the next Oprah. She's going to that other network?