The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/26/10
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Wednesday May 26, 2010
Mikey has never seen Dumb & Dumber. Even the Beverly Hillbillies are grossed out by BP’s bubbling crude, which has been flowing since April 20th. The Gringo mask must have used Todd and M1 Winder as models. Lauren is creeped out by Jesse James referring to Sandra Bullock as “Sandy”. “Douchebaggery” is explained in detail. The NFL superbowl committee decides it’s time for another Ice Bowl. Mikey interviews Richard Simmons who may have been intoxicated. President George W. Bush wrote a tell-all book about drinking and coking. Bromance talk leads to movies you can’t help but shed a tear to. Children’s Tylenol’s whacky side effects were enough to convince Mikey to go generic. Hoyle reveals he’s a Pussycat Dolls fan and has new direction for 94/9, then tells about how he raided his mama’s unmentionables drawer to get back his hardcore rap tapes. Hoyle is in the hizzle as he busts alongside some Snoop. Memories of your most nervous times in your life recalls LOB’s first time on stage, The Kid’s jail time, and Sienna’s fake I.D. What was Sienna’s cousin doing with a nugget of weed? A high school in Indiana has a “pregnancy” section in the yearbook. This proves to be the most controversial topic of the day. Obese Mikey needs help with his wetsuit. Things that have crazy, unnecessary instructions are next. Woods grosses himself out remembering his porta-potty story during talk of bathroom germs and hand washing protocol. Tom Tom Girl is feeling left out now that The Kid knows his way around town, but she aspires to do stand up comedy! Hotel room keys can be a hassle. Mikey tames the sea, calming the waves every time he hits the water. 17 Million bees on a truck get in a crash and you can guess what happened. LOB closes the show with a super awesome joke!
Bumper Music
| 1. Somebody Else by Jeff Bridges |  |
| 2. Hazy Daze by Stone Temple Pilots | |
| 3. Rio by Duran Duran | |
| 4. Hole In The Earth by Deftones | |
| 5. Breakeven by The Script | |
| 6. Show Me What I’m Looking For by Carolina Liar | |
| 7. If I Never See Your Face Again by Maroon 5 | |
| 8. Somewhere Over The Rainbow by Iz | |
| 9. Someone Like You by Safetysuit | |
| 10. Parachute by Train | |
| 11. Good Is Good by Sheryl Crow | |
| 12. Billy Jean by Chris Cornell | |
| 13. Straight Lines by Silverchair | |
| 14. Alive In This Moment by Starfield | |
| 15. Your Love Is A Song by Switchfoot | |
| 16. Blame It On Me by Floor Thirteen | |
BP oil spillracial profilingcelebrity infidelitycold weather footballchildren's medicine recallteen pregnancyreckless drivingborder smugglingradio soundboard comedyescaped beesradiocomedy
Mikey, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna, and Jay reacted to the BP disaster, the racially pointed Gringo Mask stunt, a children's medicine recall, and a truck crash that released 17 million bees. They played Jesse James clips about cheating on Sandra Bullock and argued over whether one betrayal differs from a pattern, while another heated exchange split the room over whether high-school daycare helps teen parents or enables them. For comedy, Mikey and Woodsy built a drunken Richard Simmons soundboard interview, Hoyle mangled Snoop Dogg lyrics, and the TomTom Girl tried stand-up with awful knock-knock timing. The show also debated a cold-weather Meadowlands Super Bowl, heard Sienna's fake-ID story and Dave's 40-pound border-smuggling confession, and admitted to dangerous things people do behind the wheel.
What happened, in order
BP's Gushing Well
Mikey and the crew watched the BP oil leak live, compared the gusher to an underwater volcano, and feared the untested top-kill attempt might not contain the environmental catastrophe.
The Gringo Mask
The hosts discovered that a blond, blue-eyed 'Gringo Mask' marketed to immigrants was actually an advertising stunt meant to expose racial profiling.
Jesse James Confesses
After hearing Jesse James admit lying to Sandra Bullock about his affairs, the room argued over whether one betrayal could be a lapse while repeated cheating revealed a pattern of character.
A Frozen Super Bowl
Mikey objected to putting the 2014 Super Bowl in the cold Meadowlands because weather could decide the game, while Woodsy and others said both teams would face the same test and the best team should adapt.
Richard Simmons Soundboard
Mikey and Woodsy edited Richard Simmons clips into a delirious fake interview in which the fitness star seemed drunk, flirtatious, combative, and unable to sit down.
Children's Medicine Recall
Sienna warned parents about recalled liquid Children's Tylenol, Motrin, and Benadryl while the crew reacted to reports of serious adverse events and poor factory conditions.
Hoyle Goes Hardcore
The 57-year-old Hoyle defended living with his mother, called Al Jarreau and Kool & the Gang his hardcore music, and mangled Snoop Dogg lyrics into a proudly sanitized rap.
Most Nervous Ever
A discussion of peak fear moved from Lauren's first stand-up set and Woodsy entering jail to Sienna's fake-ID bust and caller Dave confessing that he once drove 40 pounds of marijuana across the border.
The Pregnant Page
The hosts mocked teacher Casey Salter's plan for a yearbook section of pregnant students, then fiercely debated whether on-campus daycare enables teen pregnancy or keeps young parents educated and accountable.
Driving While Distracted
The crew ran through survey results about texting, eating, dressing, gaming, kissing, and sexual activity behind the wheel, repeatedly admitting which reckless behaviors they had done.
TomTom Tries Comedy
Woodsy's TomTom Girl attempted stand-up comedy, but her robotic timing, terrible knock-knock jokes, and literal response to cricket sound effects wrecked the routine.
Seventeen Million Bees
The show imagined the chaos after a truck carrying 7,000 hives crashed in Minnesota and released an estimated 17 million bees, then capped it with a painfully bad 'swarm' pun.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLaurenSiennaJayChrisBarack ObamaJesse JamesSandra BullockRichard SimmonsCasey SalterHoyleDave
42,331 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln financial media station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. It's The Mikey Show. What's going on? I don't know. It's going to be one of those days. There's a whole lot of nonsense happening in this room. Silly nonsense, right? It's a silly nonsense day. It's going to be a good day. Well, we just talked about Dumb and Dumber for about 10 minutes, so I'm in a real goofy mood. Woodsy and Lauren slay me because they know I haven't seen it. And we got a mutual friend named Kimbra. And Kimbra says that she would have never dated a guy in her life if he didn't like Dumb and Dumber. I won't quit with that.
With good reason, yeah. Yeah. It's like cinematatic. Cinematic brilliance. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. You'll die. Never seen it. Why? I don't know why I didn't see it when it came out because it was gigantic. It was so massive. You were oversold. When did it come out, I wonder? Well, IMDb it. Late 90s, I assume. Whatever it is. Well, look at me. Actually, it might have been mid-90s, yeah. Do you love it too, Sienna? Oh, yeah. It's still in middle school. Everyone loves it. Dude, it's got something for everybody. I'm the only person that I've ever met that has never seen it. Petey. Yeah, genius. I just thought he was real quiet. I bet we could do a game where we get two people on the phone. And they do Dumb and Dumber. Oh, all day. Back and forth to each other. And the first person that can't come up with a new Dumb and Dumber thing. Yeah, is the dumbest. It's like a showdown. Yeah. We'll call it the dumbest. I just talked myself out of it. Yeah. You know why? Because of my stupid title. All they'd have to do is go to the internet. Yeah. We could do it as a show. Lauren and I could go back and forth for two hours. Let's not. It's funny for like a couple minutes. Funny thought. Mm-hmm.
570-1949 is the number. 949mikey at gmail.com to text. And five people on the Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. Woodsy is our sports guy. Lauren is our assistant producer. Sienna is our news girl. And Jay is our producer. And Chris is our phone screener. You can call us right now. Just give us a call. Talk about anything that you want to talk about. There's a lot of things out there for us to talk about. Some of the things that we're going to be hitting on just throughout the show today. is how serious, more serious, the Tylenol deal has become with the kids' medicine. We're going to be talking about earthquakes in San Diego, because there was more of them. We're going to be talking about a truck in Minnesota that was carrying millions of bees. I'll tell you how many millions. Fun to be that driver. Last night I had to go count them all. That took forever. In this next 20-minute segment, we're going to be talking about... The gnarliness of what's going on with BP. The gringo masks. Can we tell you about the gringo masks? It's exactly what you think it is. Yep. And Jesse James, his deal aired last night. And I didn't see it, but we have plenty of audio from it. And we will discuss. It's about two degrees in the studio. Yep. Feels real nice. Everyone is freezing cold. I can see my breath.
Man, Woodsy and Lauren both get very cold. No, really? Except I'm a woman and I have an excuse. Do you? Woodsy, what's your deal? Are you? We've been watching video of the BP oil leak and just... It's nuts. It's nauseating. You know what it looks like? It looks like an underwater volcano. It does. That's what it looks like. Bubbling oil. If you haven't seen, just Google BP oil leak. You'll see the link where you can, or the website where you can watch this as it's happening. If you don't see it on the news now, it's everywhere. And it's just, you wouldn't, you wouldn't believe how quickly it's coming out. So sad. It's so sad. Because, you know, Obama said yesterday, I read a headline from Obama where he said, plug the damn hole. And, you know, he's angry. Well, of course. And I guess we all are. This has been going on since April 20th. Yeah. April 20th. Today's May 26th. It's been sitting there just bubbling out oil for over a month. It's not even bubbling. It's coming out forcefully. Awful. Awful. Yeah, it's not trickling out. It's shooting. Gushing. Headline on foxnews.com says BP reveals it made critical mistake. Wow. Riveting. Yeah, sorry about that. We screwed up.
You know what a mistake is? Running a red light. Yeah. You know, that's a mistake. How about you're prepared? Yeah. For the worst. That's a mistake. A mistake is I thought I was supposed to get up at 2 and I set my alarm for 2.15. I made a mistake. I thought I had $100 in my bank account. I had four. Yeah. That's a mistake. I shouldn't have written you that check. L-O-B, I'm sorry. Another headline is BP readying top kill effort to stop oil leak today. What does that mean? Well, today is their next effort to, you know, plug up the hole again. So this is happening. They're saying it's supposed to be taking place today. It's a procedure called a top kill in which heavy drilling mud and cement will be shot into the well to plug it up. Oh, wow. Yeah, we talked about this a little bit last week, and today is their day to do it. And so just keep your fingers crossed and hope that it works. It's the worst. Yeah. It's the worst. And, I mean, if you see the video I was just talking about where you can see the oil gushing out of the water, you can tell that it's getting darker and it's getting heavier. Because they did slow it down a little bit. But, man, it's just not getting better. This morning was the first time I had really seen the rate that the oil is coming out. I mean, I was standing there in my mouth.
You know, my chin at my chest. I'm like, you got to be kidding me. Imagine a chimney with smoke coming out of it. That's what it looks like. Nonstop. Yeah. Yeah, exactly like that. It looks like a chimney with smoke coming out of it. Black smoke. Black smoke. And this procedure, this top kill procedure has never been tried at the extent. I mean, this is a mile deep into the ocean. And so. You know what scares me is I imagine the following question and can't imagine a logical answer. My question is, can anybody tell me how, even though it's been leaking oil that looks like a chimney for over a month, can anybody tell me how I shouldn't worry and it's going to be okay? No. Who can? Yeah, because when the Exxon Valdez did its deal, it was a big oil rig. I mean, a big oil ship. It was a ship full of oil. But, you know, how many times could they have filled that ship full of oil with what's leaked in the last month? And the Exxon Valdez was terrible. What a great question that would be. How would you figure that out? I'm sure what they can figure out is how many gallons are being leaked into the ocean by this thing a day. And then how many the Valdez held. Yeah. I think it's already.
Blown that number out of the water. That's insane. Remember how big that thing was? Yeah, I mean, you just talk about it whenever you talk about massive corporate screw-ups. That's kind of like the go-to. Well, the reason that this one is so tragic is because it makes you think to yourself, is it really not going to have an effect on, you know, seafood around the world? What about gas prices? Yeah. Gas prices. You're paying $9 a gallon for gas? No, I don't. But honestly, forget seafood. Will you pick me up in the morning? Forget seafood, but what about just the impact on the environment? Yes. Brutal, man. Scary. Scary. And 11 people died during the explosion. They just had their memorial in Mississippi. Unbelievable. It's just sad. Does anybody know anything about this in our audience? Like know about marine life? Know about... Eco stuff. But maybe you're listening right now and you're like, oh, yeah, dude, I know what this stuff's all about. Creeps me out. Creepy. And if it affects the marine life, it will ultimately affect us. I'm worried about what it will do to rain and what it'll do to stuff on shore and what it'll do to our lives. I'm freaked out, but I'm a tripper.
Maybe people know about it. I want somebody to go, dude, don't worry about it. You know, it's like anything that would happen to our bodies. Our bodies have a way of working it out and making it OK. I'd love to hear that and make me feel better. But I don't know anything about stuff. Poor Louisiana, man. They've had their share of garbage the last few years. What's the deal with the gringo masks? Are you ready? Yeah. What is it? It's exactly what you think it is, Mike. There is a Miami advertising agency. They're the leading Hispanic advertising agency. Their name is Zuby Advertising. They have just created the new gringo mask, which is for illegal immigrants to put over their faces so that they do not get pulled over due to suspicion. You've got to be kidding me. Not kidding you. Not kidding you. I'm Googling. You can choose. I have pictures. I'll show you a picture. You can choose from a cut of a blue-eyed, sandy-haired, white guy. It has eyes. Oh, where do you see it? Or a green-eyed, blonde-haired, white woman. But the thing is, is you cut it to fit your face, you poke out the eyes, and presto, you look white. What's happening to our world? I don't know. Where do I live? Oh, my gosh. Look how hot that girl is. That's a mask. And the guy.
Is Sienna's husband Todd? Let me see. Looks kind of like Winder, too. He's like a Todd Winder mix. With blonde hair. Yeah, it looks like M1 Winder, one of our listeners. With longer hair. Weird. So weird. How? Does it say how much one of these things costs? It doesn't say how much, but I can tell you where to go. Maybe we can check the website right now. It's www.gringomask.com. And don't worry, the mask also comes with instructions in Spanish and English. Oh, it has to, right? Oh, my gosh. M1 Montana, Matt from Fallbrook. Yeah. What's going on, dude? Good. Hey, you're talking about the barrels of oil. I'm not entirely certain, but I delivered newspapers and I got a couple of headlines here and there. And I think it was 11 million barrels in Exxon Valdez. And the last I saw was 6 million out of this well. So we're not quite there yet. Yeah. Really? Well, everyone, not everyone, but there's different sources that have different estimations. So I don't know. I guess it's.
I thought the Exxon Valdez was a big giant ship called the Exxon Valdez, and the oil that got into the water was all the oil that was on board. Equivalent to 11 million barrels worth. Yeah. Okay. Right. Is that right? Yeah. 11 million barrels were on board the Exxon Valdez? Barrel's worth. Okay. Because I'm like, man, more didn't spill now? Hasn't leaked in a month and a half than that? But what do I? I don't know. I guess I'm more than anything. I'm just surprised. I didn't know. I didn't know how many spilled. Thank you for the call, Montana Matt. Appreciate it. And if anybody knows these things, if you're smarty pants, please call us. Tell us. I want to know. 570-1949. But the whole thing is just gnarly. The gringo mask thing. Gnarly. Hysterical. Yeah. Imagine looking over and being like, is that a gringo mask? Did we see how much they cost? No, I just looked on the website and it's just a whole bunch of writing. Imagine like, what if the illegals could get their hands on these things too?
Right? Imagine that. Isn't that what they're for? No. Well, yes. They're so people that get pulled over. Imagine sneaking in with them. Right? Blonde hair, blue eyes guys. I went on the website and it seems like it's a stunt to... It's like an awareness thing. It says, thanks for your involvement. The gringo mask has achieved its primary objective to raise awareness. Genius. Right. It's like an actual... It's not maybe even an actual product. Maybe it's a fake. It's a fake deal? It's to draw awareness to just how ridiculous... Racial profiling. Wow. They're both very attractive. Let's see. Bird. Jesse James was on Nightline last night, and I didn't see it. Did anybody here see it? Really? No. I was watching American Idol. You know that. I was watching the Padres. I was watching a blank screen. We call her Sandra Bullock. He calls her Sandy. Ew, that's creepy. Maybe everybody calls her Sandy. I don't know. I just don't want him having nicknames for her. You don't talk about her, mister. Yeah, you don't talk about Miss Congeniality. You don't talk about her anymore. Let's see. Let's hear some clips about Jesse James talking about what happened. What'd you tell her? I just told her basically everything. You know, that I had affairs outside of our marriage. Oh, boy. Did she have any idea any of this was going on or that this hit her like a...
I think she's had her suspicions, you know, in the past. But, you know, I lied and lied my way out of it. You know, I lied to everyone about everything, even to myself, you know. Can't dance your way out of that, pal. No, you can't. No. No, you can't. That means for sure that she said, what's going on? You know, where were you when I called? Or, you know, she's questioned him before and he lied. Fixing the chopper. She's been suspicious. That's even worse. That is the worst. Because it's one thing if you ask and he comes clean. It's another if he lied. Yeah. And it's like, man, I stayed with a liar for all that time. Insult injury. We've had five women come forward now. Did you have affairs with all of them? I wouldn't believe everything you read in tabloids. No, I wouldn't. So just answer the question. Answer the question, maybe. You guys think yeah?
No, he wouldn't have said that. You know, I was unfaithful to my wife, and I'm not going to put any kind of count to it. I don't think he should. That sounds bad. Well, yeah, it does. Of course. He should have said once is enough. That's the deal. Anything he says, if a question's asked and you answer it, it doesn't matter how you answer it. If you answer it truthfully, it's bad. Boy, it kind of does. If you go, I don't want to talk about it, it's bad. It kind of does. What does? If he goes, it was one time. I made a mistake. I made a one-time mistake. That's probably not true, though. But I'm saying. If that was true. But his defense is, hey, listen. I was unfaithful, and the act of being unfaithful is all you really need to worry about. How many women I slayed doesn't really matter. I'm saying it really does. It does. It really does. One time could be, like, not that I would forgive it, but it could be a lapse of judgment. It could be a moment of weakness. It could be situational. They might have been going through a rough patch, but showing that it's a pattern and it's just a character trait. I think it makes a...
huge difference. Yeah, but I don't think we need to know exactly. Not exactly. I think if it's one or if it's five, I don't care. He cheated. That's all that it is in my eyes. Don't you, though? But some people don't forgive cheaters. If it was one, it's almost worse because it's like, oh, well, then did you have a relationship with this one? If it's five, then it's like, oh, maybe he was just, you know, I was out of town and he wanted to fulfill a need. Dude, John Edwards. Man, people roasting that dude. Same thing. I mean, he had sex with this woman. He was married. Yeah, they had a baby. They had a baby, and people just hate that guy, you know? Nobody likes a cheater. Yeah, so I don't really think that, I don't know, man. It's just the fact that he did it, like, honestly. If it was a million, I mean, still, it's like, you're disgusting. I think so, too. You know, I took a perfect marriage and a perfect wife and perfect life and stepmother and like threw it away because of my actions. It doesn't matter. It could have been a million. You know, bad is bad no matter what it is. Nope. Don't agree. Don't agree at all. Million versus one. I see a difference. Yeah. Yeah. What about three versus one? Yep. Yeah.
Multiple, to me, indicates a pattern. It's not like you felt remorseful about that one act and thought, man, I should not have, I can't believe that, blah, blah, blah. It's like you, again, consciously engaged in something where you had to make a thought process. I know this is wrong. I'm doing it anyway. Jessie, why did you do it? You had the perfect life. You had the perfect wife. Why did you throw it away? I don't know, you know, during the midst of all of it and when I was doing it, one, I knew it was horrible. It made me feel horrible. And two, I knew I would get caught eventually. And I think I wanted to get caught. It was me trying to self-sabotage my life. Wanted to get caught, maybe not consciously, but unconsciously. And is that the very definition of self-sabotage? Ruined my life. Yep. It's like you don't want to, but you can't stop yourself. But you can't help yourself from ruining your life. Yeah, and that's actually the most honest thing he said, in my opinion. Or he doesn't have the cojones to get out of the situation that he doesn't want to be in. Yeah. So he's like, well, let me just do, like, really slimy things and get caught. And hope I get caught. I've done things to self-sabotage my life, and it wasn't necessarily about... It wasn't necessarily about...
me not having cojones. It was more about me self-sabotaging, ruining my life. It's almost like you feel like you shouldn't have this perfect life. Why do I have this? Things are going too well. His voice is so much different than I would have imagined. I know it is, Lauren. I'm just a normal guy. He sounds like he'd be hanging out with Tony Hawk instead of bikers. He has kind of a surfer voice. 570-1949. is our number if you want to give us a call. We're going to be talking about it because it's early right now. And so we're going to be talking about it throughout the morning. But yeah, I think that there was a lot of self-sabotage and a lot of him not feeling worthy. I'm more than anything wanting to know if he said anything about the new baby. Yeah, he was a part of the baby's life for a little bit before all of this happened. Yeah, he did. He talked about the baby. Being at home, being a family with him. I mean, the sad thing about it is like I looked at her in a different way and found this, you know, it's me commenting on her. Trusting me is hard for people to understand. I know, but like.
I found a new trust for her. Like, I knew she wasn't going to leave, and our relationship lost him. And to see her in the role of mother is, like, one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. I mean, she's like a fish to water. As soon as she put that baby in her hands, it was automatic and amazing. She was very kind in the article about saying she wants to co-parent. Will you be in Louie's life? Yes, ma'am. I said this yesterday. I feel bad for people that, hey, listen, he brought it on himself. There's no doubt about it. I feel bad for people because I've been that guy that just ruins my life. Ditto. You know when you just mess up so bad and you wake up that next morning like, please tell me it was a dream. Like, did that really happen? It's the worst. Yeah. I mean, now there may be some people that are like, you know what? I've never done that. And to you, I have to say. man dude that's pretty that's hardcore that's cool i mean if you've been the type of person that in your life you haven't made some gnarly mistakes you know and by the way he's guilty of them and i don't condone it i'm just saying we've all been douchebags giant flapping yeah i think absolutely i mean if you didn't if you didn't maybe it's that you didn't cheat like we've done stuff you know yes
And so, I don't know. Well, that's why I'm saying I think a lapse in judgment in a one-time thing is different than the pattern of repeatedly cheating. What about other stuff? I don't know. Maybe it's not that. I just think of myself and the patterns that I've had of douchebag-ness. Douchebaggery is the technical term. Douchebaggery. Yeah, douchebaggery. Boy, do I have a history of douchebaggery. 100%. Me too. Well, people can change if they want to. That's what I want for him. So if he wants to change. I would like to see. I want to see a happy ending to all of it. I hope he figures it out. I don't care if I see it. Yeah, I really don't care either. Go ahead. Go on your merry way. Do your thing. Really? I mean, if it was Derek Jeter, it would be different, but it's not. Yeah. It's sad for them, but I'm not going to wait with bated breath and hope that. Everybody turns it all around. Yeah. I think there's bigger fish to fry, obviously. But, I mean, you do. Hey, man, we've all, we've been there. I mean, I know I have. Kid got in a lot of trouble. We've all got our problems. Yeah. You know, we've all have our issues. And you either fight through them or you keep repeating the same patterns. Yeah. 570-194-9949-mikey at gmail.com. We'll be going over that because it was, you know, that's the first interview dude has done.
since it all happened. He also said at one point that the bike shop, all that stuff, the monster garage, the tattoos, all that stuff, he says, it's basically what I was putting out there. And the reason I was putting it out there is because inside, I was just broken as a human to who I am. Being a hard ass in public, being, you know, in the public eye, being that gruff, mean, you know, kind of dude. Yeah, before he even got in the public eye, the reason for the... For the chop shop and the reason for all of the image was to put up a facade. What's his bit? What's his bit? My bit. Same bit? Same thing. That's the reason I did it, too. It's the reason I have tattoos. It's because who I really am is a very sensitive guy. Yeah. A real sensitive guy. Sure. There's no question. Yeah. Who I really am is a guy that inside felt kind of ugly, fat. Just... Ugly. I don't really believe that about him, though. I don't know. I see what you're saying 100%, and I want to believe that for him. But for so long, I mean, how do you have a chop shop and all of this stuff that's so successful, and you have to be good? Sienna, Woodsy knew me in Dallas, man. I was a hard ass. Dude, a D. I was a D. It was exactly opposite of who I really was inside. I projected this image.
Like I was a badass. Mikey, for those of you who didn't know Mikey personally back then, it was like you rolled the dice every day. And I'm sure it was like that with Jesse. You're like, who am I going to get today? Is it going to be Dr. Jekyll or is it going to be Mr. Hyde? 100%, right? I'd walk in the studio and it'd either be, what's he? My boy's here. Or it'd be great. And it's like your heart would race. And I'm sure it's the same bit for Jesse James. But I also projected an image like. Girls, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Booze, fun, rock and roll. I projected this image that was like, if people would have said, what's Mikey like? You know, because of what you heard on the radio, or even what I projected off the radio, people would have been like, oh, that dude's hardcore, man, blah, blah, blah. And the reason is because I didn't want you to know that who I really was was nerdy. There was zero, and I mean zero vulnerability with Mikey. I'm picking the music today. feel good. When we come back, Woods on Sports, you are never going to believe where the 2004 Super Bowl is going to be. 2014. What did I say? 2004. Because we can tell you. The 2014 Super Bowl, you're never going to believe where they voted yesterday for it to be. And it's going to tick a lot of people off, me included. Okay, we'll discuss, Woods. Is the NFL nuts is my question.
Woodsy will tell you next in Woods on Sports. Mikey Show now. 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. If you need any more reasons to get out and make the most of this time of year, your Jeep dealer has five great ways to get you into it. Feel the freedom of a legendary Jeep Wrangler Rubicon named 4x4 of the decade by the editors of 4 Wheeler Magazine. Or get into a capable Grand Cherokee 4x4. a Liberty Limited with the available industry-exclusive skyslider roof, or a fuel-efficient Patriot or Compass Limited with up to 28 highway miles per gallon. Get into the Jeep vehicle you really want during the Jeep Spring Drive at your Jeep dealer. I live, I ride, I am Jeep. Get 0% financing for 60 months or $5,000 combined cash allowances through GMAC on Jeep Grand Cherokee.
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Okay. Lauren. I was a bit of a pyro when I was a kid. I knew how it worked. I knew how destructive it was. I still started fires on the reg. And Jay. This is a paid gig. I'm 100% in. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. New Stone Temple Pilots. Hazy Daisy, baby. That's a good album. Boy, you might be hearing some of that tomorrow. It's good stuff. Did you buy it? Yeah. That a boy. I haven't watched the videos yet. I haven't either. Did you listen to the bonus track? Mm-hmm. They're killer. Good stuff. As usual. Woodsy and I were messing around again with the soundboard. Weird. Weird. So we will have one of those in just a moment. 2014 Super Bowl. We'll get there. The pesky Padres are at it again. I took a nice nap yesterday, so I was able to catch the last two innings, which were, like, riveting. Really, truly riveting.
These guys are playing good baseball. They beat Albert Pujols and the Cardinals 1-0. One zip. Jerry Harrison hit a homer. That's all they needed. It's their ninth shutout of the year. Is it really? Which is insane. John Garland. It's insane. John Garland pitched his butt off last night. He's making Jed Hoyer look like a genius. He's 6-2. His ERA at Petco is .84. He's giving up less than a run per nine innings at Petco Park. Sienna, I'm starting to think that there's something different going on. I am. I'm starting to think something different's happening. I'm going to stay exactly the way I have, Ben, because I don't want to jinx anything. It's starting to really build. It's freaking fun. I watched the game last night, and here's me. Heath Bell, as usual, makes it interesting, and he's got runners on. First and second with two outs. Tying run on second. Go ahead, run on first. Whom he walked. And Bell is looking. He's wild. The fastball's up. And he gets the last guy to ground out to Harrison. Your boy sits up in bed. I'm like, yeah! Yeah! Love it. He's like, really? I'm like, yeah. That's great. I will forever be a Padres fan. But as we've said before, it's like, you know, a boyfriend who cheated on me. But, Sienna, you know what's making me, like, nine shutouts? Oh, I know. Nine shutouts. Oh, they have, you know.
I have their back right now. I'll tell you, pitching and defense wins championships. I mean, and that's two things that this team has. They played phenomenal defense last night. You're getting me revved up. I'd love to see some of their young power hitters start to hit. I mean, Kyle Blanks has got to start hitting, even though he's in the minors now. But got to start hitting the ball. I mean, they've got the pitching to do it. They need another bat. So make it right. But also, Mike, the Suns have evened the series with the Lakers. Upsetting a lot of friends of mine and probably a rough night in the Farrar household last night. It was a rough night. Sienna's husband's a big Laker fan. One of the best things for the Suns is they got to rest their stars Nash and Stoudemire a lot. The Suns' second unit basically manhandled the Lakers. They accounted for 54 of their 115 points. For real. For real. Here's their coach, Alvin Gentry, on that bench of his. He kind of sounds like Forrest Gump. Cut one. We believe in our bench and although they weren't scoring. Are you kidding me? I was just like him. I thought they had played well. I thought they played about as well as they could play. I thought they were much better defensively. Oh. Play it again. That's my scum. Dude. We believe in our bench and although they weren't scoring, I thought they had played well. I thought they played about as well as they could play. I thought they were much better defensively. Stupid is as stupid does. Our team is like a box of chocolates.
Dude, that was Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump. Coaches the Suns. Oh, my gosh. Well, the crucial game five is in L.A. tomorrow night. Nice. So a lot of people, including some folks in the studio, are all up in arms with the location of the 2014 Super Bowl. Ah, me too. New Jersey. The Meadowlands. The new Meadowlands. Real good. It's ridiculous. It's stupid. It's going to be a cold one, but I got to tell you, I'm kind of in on it. I want to see it. Woodsy. I want to see it. Why should they have to play in the snow? Why shouldn't they? Here's my issue with it. It might not be snowing, but it'll be butt cold. It could be snowing, though. It could be. It could be sleeting. It could be... Can I tell you what my issue with it is? Yeah, fire away. If there is a game decided by weather, I would be so ticked off. It's supposed to be neutral. Yeah. Why? Why? So many reasons. Because it's the Super Bowl. But they play regular season games in nasty weather. But it favors the team that might be used to the cold. What if Miami goes to the Super Bowl against the Eagles? What if the Chargers go to play the Jets in October? I know, but it's still favored. I think it's rad. I see what you're saying. I'm like, hey, listen, as far as I'm concerned, it could be the Dolphins.
versus the Cardinals, which are both warm weather teams, if they're playing in snow, my issue with it is, what if that snow somehow has something to do with the game? Of course it will, dude. Well, what if it cancels? What if you can't play it? Well, I guess... The cream rises to the top, pal. They play no matter what, right? You still got a winner at the end of the day. I get what you're saying. You still got a winner. Yeah, you're like, and they both have to play in it. Yeah, they're both there. And here's the deal, you guys. Football... It's not a warm weather game. This is from a girl that grew up in Philly watching the Eagles. Piles of snow and people vomiting on people in the stands. What did I say to you this morning, Woods? I said, the thing with the Super Bowl is we've gone through the season. We've weathered the storm. This is the chance to be like, all right, now this is the Super Bowl. Warm weather. And from a fan, from a spectator perspective, whoever hosts it. I mean, San Diego back in 2003, was it? You get so much tourist revenue from people coming because even if you don't have tickets to the game, you want to be a part of the excitement. And if it's somewhere warm, you'll come. If you're going to go to the freaking metal lane. I'll tell you what, though. It is the Super Bowl. It's still going to be packed. Still going to generate a ton of revenue. No, but not as much tourism. You can have it in Siberia. People are going to go. I mean, I want to hear people call in because I think football in the snow is...
Probably the raddest thing ever. Yeah, what do you think? 5701-949 or 949mikey at gmail.com. What do you think? One of the interesting things is it's been at least 57 degrees for every Super Bowl since 1975. So it's been, hey, we've... Run this trend for a while. Maybe we try something new. I kind of like it. I like a little bit of trend. What's the reasoning? Has the NFL said anything? Well, I mean, I think they're building a badass new stadium. Who cares? It's freaking the Meadowlands. Are you going to go to Rutgers before the game and check it out? Well, this year's, maybe you go to Times Square. Maybe you go to Statue of Liberty. Still, you have to go over the bridge. Real sweetly. Pay for parking. This year's Super Bowl is going to be in my hometown of Dallas, of course, right when I move away. It's going to be big, too. Jerry Jones does it right there, man. It's going to be a scene. Oh, yeah. But, you know, the Chargers last hosted in 03, as Lauren said. But with all the new stadiums being built, it'd be hard to think about them coming back to Qualcomm. I read an article that Qualcomm just outdated. That's what they said. But, hey, you get that new stadium built.
There'll be another Super Bowl here. No question. Dude, they'll be here almost as much probably as like the Superdome. Yeah. They'll be here all the time if we build a new stadium. Well, and. It's just, it's, Qualcomm's a toilet hole. You've got, you've got the Cowboy Stadium this year. Next year it's in Indianapolis, but it's covered. Yeah. Which is another cold weather place, but it's still, it's covered. It's a dome. And then New Orleans in 2013, which will be rad. Why does New Orleans have a dome? Why do they? Yeah. Yeah. Gross weather. Gross, gross weather. And finally, Mike, we talked yesterday about Charger Safety Kevin Ellison being arrested for having 100 pills of Vicodin. A.J. Smith came out with this really telling statement. It said, quote, disappointing to hear about the issue involving Kevin Ellison. We'll continue to monitor the situation and let the legal process run its course. Oh, wow. Does that tell you something? Tells me everything I need to know. Yeah, and Ellison's agent came out to say his client didn't know they were a controlled substance and that he just wanted to have enough to last him for the season so he didn't have to keep going back and forth and bothering people to get his pills. He is coming off knee surgery, and, you know, with the Chargers, they had a fourth-round draft pick of Daryl Stuckey, who's a lot faster.
Better player. He's going to be pushed in camp anyway, so not the best time to screw up and get arrested. Probably done. That is Woods on Sports. M1 dude from Escondido, you there? Yeah, I'm here. What up, dude? Nada, what do you think? I think the Super Bowl is a great idea to have it somewhere cold because there's nothing better than a tight game, 21-21. Everyone's freaking out, going crazy. He just takes off runs. He slips. All those popping out. Oh, no. I agree. Yeah, end of career, like tearing your MCL. I do agree that I love watching games in Denver or Green Bay, Pittsburgh when the snow. I do. I just, man, there's something about the neutrality of being in where all the conditions are perfect and you don't have to blame weather for anything going wrong. I kind of see where Woodsy's coming from. He's like, hey, listen, if it's in the cold, they all got to deal with the same thing. They all got to deal with the snow. My only problem is that some people are used to it and some people are not. And when you're dealing with the Super Bowl, it's like, really? You're going to add more stress? Those guys are professionals. They're professionals. They make a lot of money.
Rise to it. You'll be fine. But they don't. Now, didn't they change it so that the Pro Bowl is the week before the Super Bowl now? So it's like they won't even have the time to get up there if they happen to be in both. Get acclimated. When you play in Denver. No, you don't play. If you play in the Super Bowl, you don't play in the Pro Bowl. Oh, you don't. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. But I don't know. I just think it's stupid. Like when you go to Mile High Stadium, don't you have to get up there early, get used to the elevation, stuff like that? You have to get acclimated to the weather. It's going to be cold and it's going to be fun. M1 Mark from North Park. How you doing? Good, man. I love the idea also. I agree with the last guy. You guys, you're talking like New York's in Siberia. This is New York City. It's New Jersey. I'm from New Jersey. Hey, you know what I didn't consider? I've been there a million times. I'm a New Yorker myself, and it's a fantastic idea. Hey, Mark, you know what I didn't even consider, and you just said that, and I was like, yeah, you know what? Like, what if... What if the weather's perfect? Yeah, what if it's nice? It's not going to be perfect. It's going to be cold. It'll probably be in the 40s. Yeah, cold, but what if it's a sunny day with no snow? No, you're right. It could be a 40, but sunny. It may not be a hellish condition. Rad. Yeah, see, I'm thinking in my head, I just naturally assumed, oh, it's going to be awful weather. What if it isn't? What if it's just cold? It will be cold.
Maybe I'm freaking out about nothing. I think you are. I thought you were, like, upset because the Chargers weren't getting one soon. No, no, no. It wasn't that. It was just that I didn't want something to go, like, influence it. See, my whole... My first knee-jerk reaction was... The event, Super Bowl as an event. And you go there for like five days. You don't just go there flying for the game and leave. But that's about the people there. What about the millions? The millions watching are more important than the 50,000 there. Well, the teams that go there too. They go there if they want to enjoy themselves. What does that have to do with us? What does that have to do with us? We're the spectators. We're going to be watching on Mikey's couch in 80 degree weather. Maybe if it were in San Diego or maybe if it were somewhere warm, you'd actually fly there and go because it would be a cool place to go visit. The bottom line is you've got 200 million people that have an opinion about it and you've got, I don't know, 50,000 to 100,000 people there.
that are experiencing it. My thing is as fans, what do we think as fans? You know, maybe the families of the players have another thought on it. They're like, we don't want to go to Times Square. We want to go to the beach. And I'm like, okay. I don't know. I know when the Eagles played down in Miami, it was like there wasn't even enough places to put everybody because they just like... flooded the area and it's a big event and I don't know. M1 Sean in East County. Hey, what's going on, guys? Not too much, dude. Right on, man. Hey, I love the show, man. I can't believe that you're back on the air, man. It's awesome. Thank you, bro. Hey, dude, I just had a quick question regarding the new overtime rule. I was just wondering, I keep on hearing some fuzz about that and I'm wondering if Wizzy could clear that up. Do you know anything about that overtime rule, Wizzy? Yeah, I did a story on it and now I'm hazy. It's... You can't win on a coin. And it's in the playoffs. Right. Okay. It's in the playoffs. You can't win on a field goal. Can't win on a field goal. And that's it. I think that was the deal. I think that was the deal. You can't win on a field goal. No. Yeah, because the other team can kick back off and they just, if they, as long as they score a touchdown, the game is over. But if they, but if they score a field goal, they have to keep playing. They have to keep playing. Yeah. That's, that's, does that explain it for you? But what do you think of that?
I like it. Yeah, I think it's cool, man. I mean, that whole sudden death thing, like you said, with the whole field goal thing, I mean, it's a little unfair because, you know, you get one, you know, bomb, man. I mean, the game's done. Yeah, and you lose on a coin toss. It's pretty bad. Yeah. Exactly. Well, yeah, I mean, I'm glad they actually did something about that because that's a lot better, I think. Right on, brother. All right, guys. Thank you for the call. You guys ready for our latest soundboard, our latest interviews at Woodsy and I do? You are children. Yeah, we are. Five-year-olds. Yeah, we are like five-year-olds. And Woodsy and I bring soundboards up on our computers and basically do this all day to amuse ourselves. And this time it was Richard Simmons. Hey, this is Richard Simmons joining us right now. Hello. Hello. It's a pleasure to be here. How are you? I'm good. Pleasure to talk to you. You're so beautiful. That's got me weirded out a little. Please. Please what? Please. Please what? I'm so sorry. I'm not. You know what? I'll tell you what, Richard. Let's start over again. I know that this started out weird. I'm a fan. I've got sweating to the oldies. Who doesn't? Could this be love?
Because we have sweat into the oldies? Let's get physical. Have you been drinking today, Richard Simmons? Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Yes. So you have. I thought so. Yes. Yes. This is a revelation, actually, then, right now. So what you're saying is that you are doing this interview with the full-on knowledge that you have had a couple of hot toddies. You know that. I didn't necessarily know it. I know it now. This is becoming a very serious interview. I thought that this was going to be lighthearted. If you'd like it to go that way, it can. I am here for you. I'm here for you, too. No. Yes, I am. You. You what? No! Richard! Don't behave like that, Richard Simmons. Because I hit myself. How did you do that? Because I hit myself so hard. How did you do it, though? How did you hit yourself? Tell me right now. It's a safe place. Mother. Daughter. What? Mother. Daughter. Is that like a weird Afro curse word? The minute you walked in the room, I could tell you were a gal. Don't do this. A real big sound. Stop it. Richard.
Don't sit down. First of all, sit down. No! You're parading around this studio in a pair of dolphin shorts. Stop it! One! Wow. Thank you, Richard, for hanging out. Fine. Do it all day. I can do it all day long. How long did you guys actually keep going? We did that eight minutes and we edited it down to two. Did it eight minutes just messing around. Maybe we get that screaming no as it dropped. No. No way. It's so funny, that screaming no. That might be my favorite interview you've done so far, Mike. Oh, my gosh. I love it. And Woods. I love it. Well, I was playing into the fact that it was a real interview. Was it? Can I ask you a question? Oh, wait, wait, wait. Before I ask you that question. Before I ask you, I have to read you some of these because now we're getting the text messages. 949mikey at gmail.com.
Mikey, I love the idea of cold weather football. Super Bowl should be about football, not about corporations and money. Can't wait for the Super Bowl to be at a place like Lambeau Field. Oh, yeah. Now that's a real Super Bowl. That is a Super Bowl. Man. They used to do it, man. The first Super Bowl was called the Ice Bowl. Dallas Cowboys, Green Bay Packers. The Ice Bowl was like one degree. Yeah, and they decided this is miserable. It was awesome. Well, what if this happens? Hypothetically, what if it's snowing and it's like a blizzard condition or whatever? And they go out there and play and nobody can get any traction and it's just a big, complete mess. And there is a winner, obviously. But wouldn't you kind of think back on it and be like, that was the stupid. Best team won. Best team won. Cream rises to the top. All right. All the challenges that the game throws at you, you won. I think it's so cool. What if your players keep getting knocked out because they're sliding around? Best team won. That's an accident. What if one of the teams is from conditions like that and they're used to it? Well, you know what? It's like, okay, let's put it this way. Philly went down to where they play? In Miami. How'd that work out for them? It's easier to play when it's warmer because they, in their life, experience warmth.
During a certain season. But it's not like they play all their games. There's people like the Chargers that don't live in snow ever. Sure, but they play half their games in other places. Yeah, and they would have to play those teams to get there anyway. Absolutely. Mikey, this one says, Mikey, yesterday. I saw the new Mikey Show billboard at University and Normal Street near the McDonald's in Hillcrest. And it made my day going to work just a little bit more enjoyable. That's M1 Night Screen. I finally saw one. You did? Yeah. It's here yesterday. I was really excited on the 163. That's right. You can check them out. New Mikey Show billboards are out and all over the place. You got to be looking for them. Little Duran Duran. This is such a trippy story, man. So. President Bush revealed how his book is going to start off. He's writing a book. I think a lot of people might be mad. Like, really? So you're our president and that's what was going on? It's as sensational as it gets. We'll tell you what that is next. God, it's better than I thought.
Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Good things come to those who wait. And if you've been waiting to get a BMW 3 Series, now you can. During the BMW Encinitas demo sales drive, you can save thousands on our entire fleet of pre-owned service loaners. Like on a 2010 BMW 328i sedan. Lease for only $329 a month plus tax. Plus, you'll get the remainder of BMW's comprehensive four-year 50,000-mile limited warranty and maintenance. Also, everyone knows BMWs go fast, but with 0.9% APR on certified pre-owned vehicles, they'll go even faster. Only at BMW Encinitas. On Encinitas Boulevard, between the 5 and El Camino Real, click BMWEncinitas.com.
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This report, it's brought to you by Wawanese Insurance. Wawanese Insurance, better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto home or your condo. Call 877-WA-WANESA or go to wawaneseus.com. Great shopping. It can pay off. On the 8 westbound Sunset Cliffs Boulevard, disabled car over on that right shoulder. Also, seeing a little slowing this morning, Coronado Bridge westbound between the 5 and the Toll Plaza. This report also brought to you by Chevy. Come visit the Chevy Spring Event where you can get great deals on award-winning cars, trucks, and crossovers, including Consumer's Digest Best Buys like Chevy Malibu, Silverado Halfton, and Traverse. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Mikey Show. Picking the music today. Deftones home here. So, Sienna, what is President Bush saying that he's former President Bush? What is he saying that he... Did you know, by the way, that a president is called a president no matter what? Yeah. Yeah. Why does everyone say former president or ex-president? I think just so that, you know, I'm saying it right now so that when people are listening, they're not thinking they're listening the best of. I thought it was only when you refer to them personally.
Mr. President? Yeah. Mr. President. No, no, no. You say President Bush. You say President Clinton. Yeah, they're always a president. I call them the ex-presidents because of Point Break. Yeah, that's good. I like that. They get secret service, by the way, for the rest of their lives. No way. Yeah. They should. George W. moved to Dallas, and you should have seen the hubbub it caused when he moved in, man. Wow. All the people that lived on his street were like, really? I got to check in before I go to my own house. Pay for that. Of course. Yeah, I think we should. That's the president. But what if they live to be like 120? We still pay it. Yeah, but they, you know, protected our country. We just tried to. We made it right for you, L.O.B. Dude, seriously. I think of our presidents, man. I think of our presidents like, you know, take care of them, man. Most powerful man in the world. Yeah. Well, for your term in office. Besides Iron Man. I couldn't believe when we played that audio of Laura Bush saying that they have to pay for their meals at the White House. I couldn't believe that. Yeah. Shouldn't we pay for their meals while they're in there and not their secret service for 80 years? Yeah, but I would feel awful knowing that a president would be harmed. Yeah. Because people didn't like him during their term. What if there was a period and then once people got over it? That's good. Didn't think of that. I like it. I don't know if I came up with a term. Yeah, I say...
My friend waited on Bill Clinton's daughter, Chelsea. It was her engagement party at her restaurant in New York. And she had to like, oh, the Secret Service were everywhere. Weeks before they came in, they did a background check on my friend who was waiting on them. Like, it's insane how strict they are. When he was in office? No. This is now. This was a couple months ago. Oh, my gosh. I'm all for that. I think that's great. I'm on board. I say live and let live. I think it's crazy, though, because she had no idea anyone was doing a background check. Her boss gave them the Secret Service, her social security number, everything. That's ridiculous. I know. Well, so what does Bush say that he's going to put in his book? Well, yesterday he was at the Wind Energy Convention in Dallas and he was talking about his new book that comes out in November. It's called Decision Points. And he says the whole book starts with his wife, Laura, convincing him to give up drinking nearly 25 years ago. And basically she says, look, either drinking or me, either drinking or being a dad, you know, like this is it. I've had enough. And so he says that, you know, he talks about how he realized he had an addictive personality and he quit drinking cold turkey.
Yeah, Bush said that he did coke. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He talks about everything. Yeah, W. Great. Have you seen that movie? He says that he hopes it will be a tool for historians evaluating his presidency. I thought you liked him. Why wouldn't you see the movie? Oliver Stone? Because Oliver Stone made it. I thought you liked Oliver Stone. Because Oliver Stone is the biggest Democrat Republican hater in the world. So I know it's going to be a slant. One of them. You know what I mean? It's a slant, bro. Yeah. I mean. Did you love it? I thought it was cool. I thought it was pretty good. I thought Josh Brolin knocked it out of the park. Yeah, he did. Dude. You're a Democrat, right? I'm not. You know? I'm not a Democrat. I'm going to label myself, dude. How come you did it on Facebook? Is that what it said? I think when I signed up on Facebook, I didn't have the option of being whatever I am. I'm not anything. I'm a middle-of-the-road guy. Hey, by the way. I'm like Chris Rock. You guys are both extremely left, though. Not extremely. No, I'm nonpartisan. By the way, did you guys get that email from the dude? Sorry to, like. left turn us, but did you get the email from the dude that asked about what movie we saw that we couldn't help but cry at? Did you write him back? I did not write him back, but I mentally made a list in my head of all my crying movies. I wrote it back. You did, Sienna? What did you say? Marley and Me? No, I won't even see it because I know that. I won't even see it for that reason because I know that it's all about... What's one for you, Lauren?
The movie Awakenings. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. With De Niro. Oh, my gosh. Robin Williams. Robin Williams. It's like one of the only movies Robin Williams doesn't get on my nerves. Where it's impossible to watch it and you don't. Yeah. Good Will Hunting got the kid, too. It did? Yeah. What part? When he's crying because he's upset and Robin Williams keeps telling him, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Oh, yeah. It's not your fault. That was a great scene. Dude. Great scene. Field of Dreams, Rudy. What's the snow movie? Rescue. What's the rescue? Never saw Up. Never saw Up. Eight Below. Eight Below. Sobbing, blubbering mess. Four movies were just mentioned that I've never seen. I've never seen Rudy. I've never seen Field of Dreams. I've never seen... Mikey. Weird. Weird. Eight Below. You don't need to see that. I'm looking at you. It's like looking at a Martian. Yeah. You've never seen Rudy. Rudy. Rudy's the first movie I ever owned on DVD, and I still weep. I am coming to realize that I guess I like what I like with movies, but I haven't seen a lot of movies. What are you doing? I don't just watch Scorsese films, dude. Do you just collect them and not watch them? Yes. Yeah. It's like people that don't open their comic books and stuff. But Mikey also collects books and reads six pages, and then he's done. It's true. Yeah.
That's 100% true. Collect colognes, never wear them. Yeah. Have you seen Forrest Gump? What? Have you seen Forrest Gump? Love Forrest Gump. That one will make you cry. Oh, yeah. Me and Mikey played a little Forrest Gump in the ocean yesterday. That's right. What? Weirdos? What does that mean? We went surfing yesterday, and it made me laugh so hard. I look over at Woods, and he goes, hey, Mikey, look, I'm Lieutenant Dan, and he's floating in the water. He's on my back. He's doing a thing. This is so funny. You guys had one of your love moments? Good call, Jay. Thank you, Jay. Good call, Jay. Thank you, buddy. Turn it up nice and loud. Really? Is that right? A guy can't have a friend. You guys have friends. You can't be friends. You guys have a bromance. No. Dudes don't have bromances. Dudes have buddies. Bromances. We're buddies. It's a bromance. No. If you hang out with your girl, I don't call it a... Lesbian rants. Do me and Sienna look at each other longingly? Do me and Mike look at each other? Hey, I lock in with Mike because that's my job. That's what I'm paid to do. That's right. And Mike, what's your excuse? I'm in love with Woods. Yeah, that's it. Write that down. So stupid. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So stupid. Wait, Jay, you got any criers, pal? Jay doesn't cry. Oh, yeller.
Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Do you have one in the last 35 years? 5701949. What movie is it impossible for you to see? What about American Tail? The adult film? No. Little mousy guy. He's so cute. Oh, my gosh. That one gets me. It's a cartoon. Lion King, too. I got a cartoon that makes me cry. What? Fox and the Hound. Oh, yeah. Anything with a dog. What about Cinderella Man? Oh, yeah, dude. Great movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me do my imitation of me watching Cinderella Man. Okay. You're ridiculous. Oh, that's like my favorite movie. Russell Crowe, the boxing movie. If you haven't seen it, you'd meet you today. Hillary Swank? No. That's Million Dollar Baby. You know, Craig Gask, comedian Craig Gask, was staying at my place. He goes, you've never seen Cinderella Man? I go, no. He goes, dude, we're going to go buy it right now. Went and bought it. Came back home. He's like, you're going to love this. We put it in.
And this was me every time. He'd look over at me and I'd do the bit where I'd go, oh my gosh. That's amazing. At the movie. I would go, whoa, whoa, wow. That's the only movie I went to theaters by myself to see. So good. Yeah. Do you like it? I loved it. I was bawling by myself in the theater. This one's kind of interesting. M1 Riches from Penasquitos. What movie can you not watch without crying? Gladiator. Gladiator. Great movie. The one where his wife and child get hung. Oh, yes. Never seen it. Lauren, it came out years ago. Lauren just took her headphones off so that she won't hear it. It came out 10 years ago. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Really, Lauren, were you like, wait, it's in my queue. Don't say. Don't give away the ending. Wait, is this one with Helen of Troy? No, that's Troy. Oh, yeah, I've seen that. Lauren O'Brien. This is the one that...
You're in the picture on the Mikey Show fan page? No, that's 300. Just give up. Lauren. I don't know what glad he was. You better start dancing, kid. M1 Sancho from Vista. Morning, everybody. Morning. What movie can you not watch without losing it? Dude, remember the Titans. Oh, 100%. Denzel Washington. Yes, dude, when he's pointing at the casket at the end and they all hum their little song and walk away pointing. Gets me. What about We Are Marshall? Never seen it. Oh, brilliant. Matthew McConaughey? Brilliant. Not as good as I thought it was going to be. I wept with that one, too. M1 Joan from Rancho Bernardo. Hi, guys. Hi. Hi. Good morning. Good morning. I love the show, first of all. Thank you. Thank you. I'm walking to work, so I'm a little out of breath. But, my dog Skip. My dog Skip. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What? It is brutal. Yeah. When he's the dog's friend the whole time, and then he wants to be a friend, and then he gets his friend, and then he shoves the dog away. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I wept, too. God, I'm a Sally. Anything with dogs. Anything with dogs are like sports. Have you seen My Sister's Keeper with Cameron Diaz? Nope. Oh, wait. That's the one where I remember seeing the trailer, and I'm like.
That looks like the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. It's on TV all the time. I watched a little bit of it yesterday and just cried. No, she's good. It looks so, what? Being a part of the saddest thing you've ever seen in your life. She goes, Cameron Diaz. Cameron Diaz was the mom of a girl with cancer. And she didn't have any hair in the trailer. Lauren's like, eh, whatever. Did Cameron Diaz do a funny dance in her underwear somewhere in the movie? At one point, yes, but it's completely contextual. She was incredibly serious. What gets you, Cubs? The Notebook, you know that. 100. Oh, no. I was so irritated at the end of the notebook. Dude, I'm like, really? It's a movie. It's not real life, Mike. Really? That's going to happen? It's not a documentary. Oh, and Gladiator is going to happen? Gladiator did happen. I don't even know what it is. What about Big Fish? No. Awful. What? I hated it. I love the song in it. Big Fish. Man of the hour, Pearl Jam, but I hated the movie. Titanic.
Never let go. Did you cry? I saw that on a date. Did you cry? Long date. No, I forced myself not to. Yeah. I had to force myself. I had to force myself. I was thinking of other things so that I wouldn't cry. Hardest thing you've ever had to do, probably. Absolutely. Absolutely one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. M1 Troll from La Mesa. Troll, are you there? Yeah. Yeah. What's the one thing, what's the one movie that you can't watch without crying? Braveheart. Yeah, I was thinking that one too. Oh, 100%. They may take our lives. But you can't take our freedom. That blue face. The blue face on the horse. Biggest hard ass ever. And right before he gets the guillotine come down, what does he scream out? Wait, don't tell me, Lauren. Don't tell me. I've never seen it. I haven't seen it, Lauren. Oh, please. Oh, my gosh. It's in my queue. Just that music gives me chills. For every one person that's seen Gladiator, there's 10 people that have seen Braveheart. Is that right? Yeah. Is that right? It's a statistic. I looked it up on Google. Crazy. Sure. Just now. Braveheart. That music kills me. Oh, yeah.
His wife. Aren't there movies like that that I can't convince my wife to watch Braveheart? Same with Jamie. Tell her there's a love story intertwined. I did. There's two love stories. I did, and she's like, oh, boy. She goes, isn't that the one where they talk about, like, there's this big scene where there's, like, they're slaughtering each other in a war where they run into each other. They run, physically run with swords. And I go, yeah. And she goes, forget it. Yeah. Anything with a period piece, like before 1970, Jamie's going to come out. I don't want to see like historical movies. That's how I am with like Jane Eyre and stuff like that. Oh, get it with that. Yeah. But when it comes to like the, oh, I haven't seen it. Love it, right? Yeah. Don't you have it? No, I haven't. It's so good. Is it long? Yeah, it is. It's good though. But it's good. I think I like it. You would. It's so touching. The love story is so beautiful. And I'm telling you that Mel Gibson, that dude knows how to make some movies, man. The Patriot. I really liked that movie. I'm so big fan of the Prima Nocta. Okay, I was in on that. It's very similar. It's a good bit. Say it again. Prima Nocta. What is it? It's a good bit. What is Prima Nocta? Is that a breast break? No, it's where the guy goes and has sex with all the women the night before their wedding. The king. Okay. Prima Nocta. You've lost Mike. That's the whole movie is about. In the movie. Braveheart. Braveheart. Prima Nocta.
They talk about something called Prinocta? Prinocta. Prinocta? Yes. And that's having sex with the women the night before the wedding? The king gets to. It's good to be king. Oh, my goodness. I do not remember that that's what it was called. That's what the whole, like, basis of the movie is about. Yeah. Vacation under consent of the king. Correct. No way. I don't remember that. M1 Dave from Vista. Hey, I was just going to say, I Am Sam gets me everything. Oh, yeah. That's such a good movie. Very, very sad. That's a good one. Thank you. M1 Bruce from Carlsbad. Which one? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Great one. Yeah. Dakota Fanning, right? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. And the movie where he gives himself up? Yep. Oh, absolutely. That's two Dakota Phantom movies back to back. She is so good, Dakota Fanning. She is. M1 Sanjaya from San Diego. Hey, brother. You ever see a grown man cry? Yes, I have. It's Simon Birch. Oh, yeah. Isn't that an aquarium in New Orleans? The Simon Birch Aquarium in La Jolla? No, what is Simon Birch? It's a movie about this little guy. He has, like, a disease. He's so cute. And it's just about him, you know. The point that always gets me is he plays on this Little League team, and he hits, like, a foul ball and hits, like, the mom that adopted him, like, in the head. And she dies in the movie. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, and so, like...
During the movie, she has a self and they're like best friends. And the little boy, the one that's sick with the disease feels really bad. And like he's walking to the lake and he just goes and he cries and he goes, I'm sorry. That's Dorian. Wow. He's able to make some pretty awesome sounds with his voice. It is really a sad movie. I've seen it. It reminds me of The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons. That's a sad movie. Did it make you cry? Just weird. This one is probably the first movie I ever cried watching. M1 Neon from Chula Vista. Are you there, Neon? Yeah, I'm here. Yeah, I'm here. Which one? The Champ. It's old. It was Ricky Schroeder. Yes, it was. He was really little. Ricky Schroeder was a little boy. And was he an orphan in the movie? His mother had passed away and then his dad was raising him. And then his dad was a boxer. His dad's a boxer. And he's raising him. Was his dad Mickey Rooney? No. He wasn't. At the very end of the movie, he gets into a fight in the ring.
And he dies on this table in the last scene, right? But little Ricky Schroeder. Got a picture of little Ricky Schroeder. He's holding his hand and he goes, don't die, champ. Don't die, champ. Champ. Don't die, champ. My favorite movie in the whole wide world. Rocky or Rocky 2 when Apollo dies? Four. Is it Rocky 4? No, I think it was 12. It was 12. I'm almost positive it was Rocky 12. Yeah, when Apollo dies, it's pretty bad. I've got a ridiculous one. Which one? Finding Nemo or Little Nemo. Oh, yeah. Where the mom gets eaten and all those brothers. Sad, right? Finding Nemo. Not Little Nemo. Whatever it was. Little Nemo. What is that? I just remember crying over a cartoon. I was like... Finding Nemo is the greatest movie. And then I got a great one. Which one? Shawshank Redemption. Oh, yes. He sends a postcard back. Tears of joy, dude. Great one. Tears of joy. When he stands up, when he gets out of that tunnel and he stands up, dude, and... Yep.
Kids weeping. I have one for you that I didn't think was sad that you guys will all get irritated at. Everybody loved this movie. Everybody thought it was fantastic. And I was another one. Really? This was me. Cynical. Really? Million dollar baby. Oh, you're crazy, dude. I'm the same as you. I feel the same. What? Even on The Notebook 2, I didn't cry. I was like, eh. I felt like it was a cheap, you know, like. It was predictable. It was like walking up behind somebody and going, boom. They're going to jump. Yeah. Hey, boss, I just wanted to fight one more day, boss. Really? Yeah. I'm not buying it. I can't take him seriously. M1 Aztec from the South Bay. What movie? Good morning, Mike and Show. Good morning, dude. Which one got you? Okay, I got a movie I was actually watching last night also. I've seen it like 10 times.
cast away. Hell yeah. So sad. When he talks about how there's no ice in his glass. I thought it was when he lost the volleyball. Wilson! He loses Wilson. That was really sad too. You know, they're saying that there's some serious side effects that are being investigated further with that Tylenol for infants, which means a lot to me, man, because I got twin boys. You got little kids and, you know, they were recalling all that Tylenol. Now there's more to the story, and I'll tell you what it is next. You're listening to The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. If you are looking for a great deal in a Honda, nine is your lucky number. It's the nine-day sale at all nine Honda dealers of San Diego County. For nine straight days, you can take advantage of Honda's special rates on every model in stock.
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This report is brought to you by Jack in the Box. Come to Jack in the Box to try a new grilled breakfast sandwich on grilled artesian bread with a cup of the new Kona Classic Coffee at participating restaurants. Five northbound after SeaWorld Drive, an accident in the center divider. Car blew out a tire and he collided against the center divider wall. Also a problem here on the westbound Sunset Cliffs Boulevard. We've got a car that's stuck over on that right shoulder. This report brought to you by Chevy. You could come visit the Chevy Spring event. You could get great deals on award-winning cars, trucks, and crossovers, including Consumer's Digest. Best buys like Chevy Malibu, Silverado Halfton, and Traverse. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. What's happening? This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning being brought to you by Guayaki Yobamate. And stop by any of your Jimbo's naturally local markets and sign up for a chance to win one of two custom-built rusty surfboards to your specifications. catch is you've got to go in your Jimbo's markets, and you want to go there anyways to pick up some Guayaquil natural products as well as the other fine lines that Jimbo's carries. So enter there to win a chance to win a rusty custom-built. Surf-wise today, again, kind of weak and bleak as a combination of Southwest and West Northwest swells continues to taper off. Pretty small knee waist high, maybe a plus on top of that. Coming off of a negative low tide, so that's hurting size and shape at all areas. Look for slight improvement as the day continues.
Relatively clean this morning in terms of there not being a lot of wind on it, but we do expect westerly winds to fill in more throughout the day. If you're going to surf this morning, better pack a longboard and a lot of patience. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops, five locations, or go online at southcoast.com. This surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I want to be a movie director more than anything else. Sienna. Only time I'll eat spinach is if it's in artichoke dip. Woods. I like to grease the maitre d's from time to time. Lauren. Yellow means speed up. Yep. Yellow means hurry up and go. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. On FM 94.9. I'll be strong, risen. I like that song. Yeah, Fort Carolina. Welcome back. So this, uh... I purposely did not hear what this story is. I want Sienna to tell all of us at the same time. But I got nine-month-old twins, Luke and Ryan. And we gave them that medicine, that Tylenol infant stuff. And you use it like with a little eyedropper. That's how you give it to them. And they recalled it about a month ago. Yeah.
All the infant products of Tylenol, Motrin, and Benadryl, the liquid version of it. They found little black flakes floating in it, and it just is not good. So if you have that right now, do not give it to the kids. They say give the generic brands to the kids. That's what we've been doing. Right. And so what's the latest with this? So what's happening is the FDA is investigating reports of several hundred serious side effects that we hadn't really heard of any bad side effects up until now. Or they're saying there's adverse events, which is death, hospitalization. disability, or other health complications. And it has to do with that? Since McNeil recalled the 50 different versions of the children's medicine, there has been seven deaths since May 1st. Really? Yes. So this is getting pretty crazy. The House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform has scheduled a hearing tomorrow, May 27th, to examine the recall. Really? The recall, yeah. That's hardcore. And this is McNeil's fourth in the past seven months recall that they've had to do. And they don't know what it is that's doing it or what the problem is. And McNeil, no, they don't. McNeil is a division of Johnson & Johnson. And if you didn't hear, we talked weeks ago about how the inspectors did go to the factories where some of these medicines are made. And they saw that the machines were duct taped together. They were dusty, dirty, just not in good condition at all. That's unbelievable. I know. So seriously, if you have those medicines, Motrin, Benadryl, or Children's Tylenol, the infant liquid version.
Do not give it to your kids. Buy the generic version. Yeah, all of that stuff is in the news. We'll be telling you more about it when we find out more about it, too. By the way, last night, I don't watch Dancing with the Clowns, but last night, somebody named Nicole Scherzinger? You know. Nicole Scherzinger? Who did? What did she do? Pussycat Dolls? No. You don't know? Oh, the professional dancer? That's weird that she won that. I know. I was really mad that she was even in the running. That's so weird. She's a singer for the Pussycat Dolls? She's the main girl in the Pussycat Dolls. But she already dances. How did she win? That is so odd. That's annoying, but their whole bit was... Did you guys see Harry Connick Jr. is going to be in American Idol? Right. How do you do that? How do you have a dancer in a dance competition? And I 100% agree with you guys, but what they're saying is that she never did ballroom dancing. She doesn't know the waltz. She didn't do the cha-cha or the tango or any of those things that they had to do. She just did the booty dancing. Yeah, the booty dancing, exactly, on stage. But last night was the finale, and she was crowned the winner of Dancing with the Stars. She beat out the...
Gold medal winning figure skater, Evan Lysacek. Lysacek. Yeah. And Aaron Andrews was also in the finale, the ESPN reporter. What? How do y'all not know what the Pussycat Dolls are? We do know what they are. I know, Hoyle. I know what they are. I don't like them. It's like you don't know their music, though. Well, yeah, exactly. Stand up my buttons, babe. There you go, Sienna. You get it. How do the rest of y'all not get it? How do the rest of y'all not know? We know what it is. We get it. How do you not know Pussycat Doll's music? Have you seen Slumdog Millionaire? Yeah. They sing the Jai Ho song. Jai Ho. You know that big hit from the movie? Yeah. Lauren. Yo. How come you don't know the music? I do. You know we're going to start going that direction here on FMI. I know it. I'm trying to change this into a rap station. First of all, let's not rap. Second of all, we're not changing the format of the station. Well, I've been talking to Garrett about it. He keeps saying no. Program director here keeps saying no. So does Rick Jackson. He's the general manager, and I can't get anybody to do it. I don't understand why. We don't play that music for a reason. I know, but I think that with the large Spanish population,
It might help if we did. They like. They love. Forget like. They love hip-hop, rap. But there are already some of those stations that exist here. No, not the ones that I would program. I'd do it a lot better. I got my redneck swag. I did. Well, maybe you can go over there. What is redneck swag? Yeah, since I don't even think you're really officially hired here. Is my redneck swagger? Have you never heard of that? No, I haven't. That's when I be pimping on the mic, man. You know. We all know. Where did you even learn to talk like this? Where did I learn to talk like this? Yes, where? From my hardcores. Who is that? My hardcores. My mama. You don't know what hardcores are. Your mama? My mama. I know, but I'm asking who your hardcores are. Your mom? No, my mama hid my hardcores. My hardcore is what I call them. That's my hardcore tapes. Like your Al Jarreau. Yeah, Al Jarreau. Baby face. Cooling the gang. Boys to men. Boys to men, hardcore. That's your hardcore. Very hardcore. That's not hardcore at all. She hid them from you. She hid them, and then she threw them away for a little while, but I found a lot of them. And then I found a whole bunch of other ones that she had hid in her Unmentionables drawer.
What are you doing going through that drawer? Gross. Well, there's good reason. Her unmentionables? Maybe you shouldn't mention it. It's her bedside table? No, you guys. No. Underwear? That's what she calls her underwear. Okay. Her unmentionables. It's disgusting. You shouldn't be going through there. Don't y'all call your underwear that you're unmentionables? No, we don't. We don't go rummaging through our mamas. I'm not rummaging through them. I'm going there because that's where she hid my hardcore tapes. How did you know that's where she hid them? Because I was looking for them. Right. Sniffing around. And she came in and said, were you looking through my unmentionables? The most awkward conversation. I said, yeah, mama, because I'm trying to find my hardcore tapes. I can't believe that she hides tapes from you. You're a grown man. How old are you, Hoyle? I'm 57 years old. Yeah. Act like it. Well, if I want to listen to Al Jarreau and Kool and the Gang, I have a right to. Maybe you should move out. I can't do that. I can't move out. Why? Because I love Mama too much. She packs your Lunchables every morning. Capri Sun. I told that. I told y'all not to talk about it.
I'm sorry. Do you get those little crackers with the spreadable cheese with the red stick? Hey, do you have an extra pudding I can have? Ooh, yeah. I want some pudding. What about some applesauce? You guys, I'm working on my new rap opus. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah? Yep. Hoyle the Assassins. We're working it all out. You've been writing some lyrics? Yeah, I'm hoyling my craft. Atta boy. Good for you. It's called Straight Outta Shreveport. Y'all know Straight Outta Shreve Park? Never heard of it. Straight Outta Shreve Park. A crazy old trucker named Hoyle. And your lame butt raps, I will foil. That's awful. Hoyle, that's not good at all. That's all I have right now. Crazy old trucker named Hoyle. Maybe you should go back to the drawing board. I kind of like it. Maybe Snoop Diggity's in the house. Snoop Diggity? Maybe Snoop Diggity's in the hizzle. S-N-O-O-P-D-O-O-G. Maybe he's in the Hoyle his house. You ready to hear some Snoop Dogg? You know that. You know that. Hey, by the way, y'all, why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? For Drizzle! That's what I'm saying, Sienna. You got that one from me, Hoyle. Hey, listen. The only one that knows that joke. Let me tell you something here, Whiteys. Y'all better get used to it because that's what we're going to do when we change it to a hip-hop station. Y'all better get familiar with Little Diddy, all right? It's about a famous elixir in the urban community. Do you know what I'm talking about? I don't know who Little Diddy is. I'm going to do it for you right now. Are you ready for it? Okay.
I'm talking about some real hardcore stuff. This is some of my hardcores. I'm urban, y'all. I used to drink hooch with Billy Ocean. Billy Ocean. Oh, wow. Why don't we roll some of this one time? Yeah. Let's get it. Oh, I know this song. Yeah. Who doesn't, baby? Do this, foil. You know we can do this one time. Coil into his Izzy. Creepy. You ready for me to drop some on you? Oh, yeah. With so much drama in the LBC, it's kind of hard being snooping double DG. I just somehow, someway, coming up with funky double dips every day. May I kick a little something with the G's and make a few N's in the breeze through two in the morning and the party's still jumping because my mama ain't home. I got britches in the living room playing ping pong.
Jeez. I got a pocket full of gumballs and my homies do too. You lost your place, Hoyle. Get real gangsta, Hoyle. I lost my place, y'all. Did you say you've got britches in the living room playing ping pong? That's right. I did. You ready to see it again? Bring on the noise. Really get after it. Hit it. With so much drama in the LBC, it's kind of hard being Snoop Double DG. But I somehow, someway, keep coming up with funky double dips like every single day. Maybe I kick a little something for the G's and make a few ends in my breeze through two in the morning and the party's still jumping because my mama ain't home. I got britches in the living room playing ping pong and they ain't even till six in the morning. I had to edit out the parts there. Yeah, that was smart. Did Mama help you? Well, Mama had to help me write this the other night. I got real nervous when I was doing it. What do you guys think?
You like? I got britches in the living room playing ping pong. That's great. Do you think that's too much? No! I don't think it's enough. I think you need to just get after it. Yeah. Like, you weren't turned up enough. If I say britches, though, do you think that we'll get an FCC fan? No, it's fine. Britches are like, what you wear? Six in the morning. With so much drama in the LBC. It's kind of Harvey and Snoop D-double-O. Did I say that? You can't get it every time. That's the part I have a hard time. You don't have the same fervor that you had last time. I don't. Y'all, it's hard to work some of these out in my beat laboratory. I think it's because this time we were confident in him. Last time we were like, you can't do it. Yeah, y'all got to give me one that you think I can do. Maybe there was something with it. Let me see. I think you nailed it, though. You did good, Hoyle. I'm proud of you. And you did a good job. Yeah, I like how you switched up that.
That's what it sounds like when I pour my 40s. Of Capri Sun. That's right. Squeeze it. Do any of y'all know these lyrics? Yeah. You do? I do. But you're not singing the right ones. What did I do wrong? You said britches playing ping pong. I thought that's what they sang. It's a great song. Maybe it's because I had the edited version. You wouldn't be allowed to say that stuff. Is it dirty? Mama wouldn't like it. You don't talk about mama. You don't worry about mama. Mama's so fat. She eats wheat thigs. Hey, by the way, Hoyle, I talked to Garrett, our program director, yesterday, and he wants to have a meeting with you about changing the format of the station. Detroit! He's bringing security in. Yeah, it took long enough. That's why I have it on right now. That's why I'm wearing. Did you know that I wear bulletproof vests to work? Did you? In a flak jacket? I do. It's pretty excessive. Why? Drive-bys.
Really? Wow. In Mission Valley? It gets real crazy. It gets crazy in my neighborhood. Where do you live? Yeah. I live in Poway. Do you? It's not crazy at all over there. Not at all. And sometimes it gets nuts. You got to be careful. It's tough growing up in the hood. It's little kids on tricycles. They can jump right out at you. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it gets you. Did you guys, what's the most nervous? What is the most nervous time besides my Michael Shannon moment when I had to stand up in front of people with my suspenders after I had leaked a little bit on my... That's pretty embarrassing. What is the most... Can you guys remember the single most nervous that you have ever been? You can, Lauren? Oh, yeah. What was it? First time I did stand up. Really? Yeah, I blacked out. What? And there's video of it. Oh, it's the worst video in the world. I can't watch it. That would be the hardest thing. I can't imagine doing that. Well, as nervous and as nervous as she was, that's what I saw. I know. I know. That's what I saw on YouTube and thought she was good. You saw the one that was like related videos. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's so I was like and I've done performances all over, you know, different different mediums. And that was like, OK, this is my stuff.
This is, there's no props. There's no one else to bail me out. And to top it off, I'm in a coffee shop doing open mic. And so far, it's been like all musicians singing like love songs. And now I'm a comedian. How about you, Woodsy? Probably before, probably the minute that I had to go check in for my little 20-day vacation. Oh, that's right. Yeah, dude. Talk about some nerves. Talk about some nerves. Woods, he had to go to jail for 20 days. Yep. And when he was walking in there, you told me about it. Yep. Where they take everything from you. You got to turn everything in. You get it when you check out. You get it back. They give you all your stuff. Three weeks later. Right. I was nervous, man. I mean, you know, dude, I'm not pretending to have done a hard time or anything. And I know people that have and more power to you. Yeah. But for me, 20 days was like a lifetime. It was brutal, right? Brutal. 570-1949. What is the most nervous that you've ever been in your life? How about you, Sienna? Mine's kind of like Woods is. I didn't go to jail, but I got in some big trouble when I was a little youngster. What was it? I had a fake ID, which I don't recommend to anyone.
And I went into a liquor store to buy some alcohol. I was in college. I was like 19, I think. Yeah, 19. And when I walked out, there was two underage cops. Undercover? Yeah, underage. I was underage. Undercover cops, yeah. And I got in the car with my friends, and once I closed the door, I was like, did it, you know? One of the first times I used it. Yeah. And tap, tap, tap on the window. I see the badge hanging from their neck. Oh, my gosh. And I was just like, oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know, and I know they have a video camera in this liquor store, and it was right by my house. And so they made me. Sienna, you must have lost all blood in your face. Like, you must have just gone pale. Oh, they were jerks, too. They made me get out of the car, and they made me, you know, show them everything that I got. And I had, like, a real ID, and I was like, it's me. It's me. They asked me every single question on the ID. Wow, you kept up with it? Oh, I did. Oh, my gosh. I was ballsy. They kept asking me every question. They're like, where do you live? How old are you? What's your sign? And I knew everything. Bam, bam, bam. Because it was a real ID. Right. And then they were like, I'm going to search the car. How did they know then that it wasn't real? I don't know. She looks like she might not be 21 right now. I know. Right. Oh, no. They had a feeling. Oh, it was so scary. And so they were like, I'm going to go through the car because I don't believe you. And they found my purse under the seat because I had kicked it under there with my real ID in it.
And they made me sit out there. It was late at night. And I was, like, wearing, like, a little dress. And I was freezing. And I had a sweatshirt in the car. And my friend's like, can I just give her? I was with two guys. Can I just give her her sweatshirt? Like, look, she's shivering. And they were like, no. They took pictures of me. It was awful. They took you downtown? No, no. I didn't get arrested or handcuffed or anything. They took pictures of me. And then they gave me a, I got an infraction. It wasn't misdemeanor. Wait, why did they? Must be nice to have cans. They took pictures of her and wouldn't let her put a sweatshirt on. They took pictures of her cans. That is creepy. No, I know. It was awful. And so it was a misdemeanor, but I went to court and everything, and my parents were like, do you need any help? And I was like, no. I got it. I hired a lawyer and did everything myself and went to court by myself. Yeah, Bob Kardashian. A little, like, 19-year-old girl. She's from La Jolla. She got Bob Kardashian. That's right. No, I was embarrassed. I didn't want my parents to help me at all. I paid for everything. I wouldn't. I didn't have any money when I was in high school. Oh, no, I worked. I was a waitress. Oh, my gosh. I was so scared. But I was trying to act so tough. I didn't cry. Really? Oh, man. It's always law stuff. I think that a lot of people, their most nervous moment is stuff to do with the law. M1 Dave from OB. Hey, Mikey. What was yours? Oh, yeah. It's definitely legal stuff. I was a younger guy. Little.
Misguided, I guess. And somehow I got talked into crossing a car full of green stuff over the border from Tijuana. Oh. Yikes. How much? It was 40 pounds. Oh. 40 pounds. The tires and the gas tank. In the tires? Yeah. Yeah. I actually just had to go take somebody up from the Tijuana airport the other night. And even this day, like it was like 10 years later when I crossed it, I'm like, I would still probably be in jail for that nonsense. How did you get out of it? I made it. He didn't get caught. Just how nervous he was driving across with it. Oh my gosh. No, we're talking to a real life smuggler. Don't say your last name, by the way. We're talking to a real life smuggler here. This was 10 years ago? Yeah, I'm not like a cartel smuggler or anything. No.
I'm stupid, you know, broke in San Diego trying to make some extra money. Needed the coin. I did it once, and I don't think I ever did it again. I was like, you know what, man, that's just too, like, the nervousness is just, you want to, like, vomit your inside. You know, like, you almost want to get caught to make the nervousness go away. And I don't advise anybody doing that. No! Hell no. I mean, dude, if they had had dogs, it would have been over, right? Over. Over. Over. I mean, you got to figure, if you had got caught with 40 pounds of pot, you'd have gone to jail for a long time. Good luck getting help when you're down there. Oh, I know. What were you going to say, Lauren? When I first moved here, I didn't have a car. And I was, like, just perusing around on Craigslist. And someone was like, drive my car to San Francisco. And I was like... Cool. So I email my friend. I'm like, we should totally do this. Like, someone just wants us to drive their car. Should we do that? My friend writes me back. He's like, idiot. Really? They probably want you to smuggle something. Yeah, smuggle heroin up there for them. To San Francisco. You know, a lot of times they do that. And they're like, hey, you know, I'm moving. I have to be there for work. I can't get my car up there. I'm going to fly up. I mean, my brother drove my car out here. Well, I've done that through a service. I've driven someone's car from California to Virginia.
Through a service, though. I've done that as well. I've driven cars for people. Yeah, through a service, but this is like a random Craigslist ad in the apartment section. Oh, that would scare me so bad. I mean, imagine if you're naive, you take the job, whatever, and it turns out that it's drugs and you get busted. I'm reading that book you gave me. I can't put it down. It's so good. 4,000 days. 4,000 days of my life in a Bangkok prison. He was a drug smuggler. And he's such a good writer that you read it and you start to vomit. When you're reading it, you're like, oh my God, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. All the stories about him going through customs, that's got to be... It makes your heart pound just reading it. Yeah, I was filing papers reading my heart pound. My grandma had to go to TJ to pick up her nephew at the airport, and she was driving his car. And so she went across the border, and on their way back, she got sent to secondary. And they were like, you know, I need to check this car and get out. And so she gets out, and she's like, no, it's just my nephew's car. He's right here, you know. And they tore the whole car apart and found a little tiny nug of weed. And they were just screwed. Like, my grandma was stuck down there. She was older.
Yeah, you never know. And it was just a tiny little like leaf. A small amount. Yeah. That is crazy. You have to be so careful. What did an Indiana high school teacher want to put in the yearbook that is freaking everybody out? It had to do with girls. And whatever you think it is, it's probably not what you think it is. But when we announced it this morning in the studio before we went on the air, everybody was like, what? Maroon 5 with Rihanna. We'll tell you what that was next. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar.
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morning between the 5 and the 78. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Star Safety System is standard on all Toyota models. For more information, please visit toyota.com. Toyota, moving forward. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Okay, this one's for Gabby. Sienna, what did this Indiana high school teacher want to put in the yearbook that is getting this person in so much trouble? A pregnant section. Oh my gosh. Wow. Yes. This Indiana high school English teacher decided it was a good idea. He was part of the yearbook staff. And you're being inappropriate. He helped put together the stuff and he's like, oh my gosh.
Yeah, his name is Casey Salter. He's like, yeah, wouldn't that be great? He said, this would be such a good idea. Yeah, look, we have so many pregnant students walking around. So what he did was he sent some other students that were on the yearbook committee to walk around and take pictures of these pregnant women. Pregnant girls, not even women. Oh my gosh. So one of the girls was like, why are you taking a picture of me? And he said, because we're doing a pregnant section in the yearbook. Dude, that is insane. The girls didn't even know. They're like, why are you taking a picture of me? And one of the pregnant girls went to the school, like officials, the principal and everything and said, look, this is what's going on. And they were like, what? He's doing what? And they said, yeah, he's trying to put a pregnant section. Can you imagine, by the way, can you imagine what it would be like to be that teacher getting called in? And, you know, they because they clearly thought it was a good idea. Yeah. So they clearly don't get it. And so when you're the principal, you're like. You know, so did they say the person's name? Casey. Casey Salter. Okay, so you're Salter. Okay. I'm the principal. Mr. Salter, can you please come to the office? Yeah, now you're Salter. I'm the principal. Hi, Principal Esparza. Hey, how you doing? I'm good. Listen, I just... Thanks for having me in your office. Yeah, no problem. It's good to see you here. Good to see you. I'm glad we're having a chance to talk. Me too. You all right? Yeah, I love you. Okay. You're freaking me out a little bit. Well...
I'm looking at this report that I just got. This can't. I just I'm missing something here. I know I'm missing something here. I'm reading over this note that I just got. And I just need you to explain to me what the actual deal is, because it says here that you were having kids take pictures of the pregnant girls here at the school. Yeah. And yeah. Yeah. OK. And you were going to put that in the yearbook. Yeah. We want to do a special section for him. You do. What kind of section? Pregnant section. The pregnant section. Pregnant page. We're going to call it the pregnant page. You're going to call it the pregnant page. PP. PP. PP. Yeah, they're going to make it worse. They're going to call it PP. Help me understand, Salter. Help me understand. What? How did you think that putting pregnant teenage girls in a whole section in the yearbook was a good idea? Well, we really wanted to celebrate early pregnancy. You did? So we wanted to give them their own page. Yeah. You wanted to celebrate it. I thought it would be a good idea. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And you know, we didn't want the pregnant girls to be left out. Yeah. Because God forbid you leave somebody out in the yearbook. By the way, is it true that you didn't tell them that you were just going around taking their pictures? Yeah, we did it on the sly. You did it on the sly. I see.
So by the sly, you mean they would walk out of the bathroom and you'd have a photographer there to take a picture of them? Correct. We were like paparazzis. Oh, my gosh. That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. But most schools do that. I mean, that's the normal thing is, you know, students on the yearbook committee take pictures randomly at all the different events. Yeah, you have some of those. And you don't need to get the okay, you know, and then finally one of them said, oh, this is for our pregnant page. And the girl's like, what? What? The pregnant page. Yeah. You know? The pregnant girl was offended. Well, the pregnant section. So this teacher, Casey Salter, has... been told he's not allowed to come back next year and teach. However, he is allowed to finish up the school year and he's still allowed to help with the yearbook, but under close supervision. He's like, what did I do? Yeah. What did I do? I was trying to be a nice guy. And you know what's funny is that just remembering what it was like to be in high school, you know that there's probably going to be a walkout in support of him because there's going to be students that are like, oh my gosh.
So irritated that Mr. Salter is getting in trouble for that. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a thing. It's real. It's life. It's life. It's life. It's life in my body. Why would you ever get upset about somebody celebrating life in their body? It's so wrong. Oh, my God. It's like putting a section like puberty. Yeah. Okay, these girls all blossom this year. Yeah. Yeah, it's all the girls that blossomed this year. How about that? How about the girls that put out? Who lets him finish the year, though? I know. And then doesn't bring him back next year? Just like, get him out of there. That doesn't make sense either. Well, maybe he had good intentions. Maybe he was like, well, let's not make them feel like left out. I don't know. If he had good intentions, then why can't he come back? I mean, it's now as a problem. Excuse me. Why are you taking a picture? Because you have acne. How many times, though? No, no, no. That's the acting page. We were doing the acting page. Gross. Right. We thought you'd be perfect for it. That's different. That's weird, man. Did you guys have any girls in your high school that were pregnant? No. I don't think I did. I did either. Absolutely. Did you? Chris is nodding his head. Lauren, you did? Uh-huh. Like walking through the hall looking like Sienna. It was like a handful. No, I don't remember that at all. There was a handful of them? Throughout my four years there. Really? Mm-hmm. I would have been like at 17. I mean, you know me now at 34.
Yeah. Think about how immature I am now. Oh, my goodness. Think about me at 17. Well, they pulled him out of school, usually. Oh, they did? Yeah. No, but I think a lot of girls do it, and they take some time off at the end when they have to have the baby, and then they're back, and their parents help. I didn't know that. Think about Juno. Well, in my school, they pulled him out. They did? What was the purpose? Why? Yeah. Maybe they were getting too big. They were getting made fun of. Oh. Their parents didn't want to be shamed, whatever. I think the worry is that other girls will want to get pregnant because of it, too. Yeah. Because they're getting additional attention. Probably. Yeah, that's, I mean, really? You think girls would be like, ooh, that looks comfortable. No. I'm 16. Trends are big in high school, so I guess they think, oh, she's pregnant. I want a baby now, too. Sienna read a story. A while back, I think we may have even been at the other station. You read a story about there was a whole group of girls.
And it was like a trend at a school where all the girls were purposefully. Yeah, they made a pact to get pregnant. It was like when Britney Spears was having a baby. Christina Aguilera was having a baby. Britney's little sister. Britney's little sister. That was the biggest deal. Jamie Lynn, when she got pregnant because she was 16 and she was on a Disney Channel show that all the kids watched. And she got taken off the show because parents were like, no way do I want this girl pregnant on the show that my children watch. And it makes me think. Or it makes me wonder, I wonder this pact that these girls came up with, if the dudes were in on the pact or if they were unsuspecting. No way would they have been in on the pact. Well, they were in on the fact that they got to sleep. Right. I don't think that's, yeah. But they probably weren't in on the, you know. The fact that these girls were purposefully. Trying to get pregnant. Trying to get pregnant. If nothing else, they'd get in trouble by their parents. It was groups of girls, like who can be the first one to do it? No way. Yeah. Where do we live? Oh, dude, I'm telling you. Sometimes it's weird, man. That is insane. It's America. I forgot about that story. M1 X-Ray from El Cajon. Hey, what's going on, guys? Long time listener for Sam Caller. Right on, dude. What's going on? I just wanted to call and let you guys know and tell you that I don't see anything wrong with what that poor teacher did. You know, it's really crappy what's happening to teachers these days. Well, here's the thing, man. Here's the thing. I don't think it's a...
The reason I don't think it's appropriate is because it's not like teen pregnancy is something that should be celebrated. And that's what he's doing. Well, I agree with you on that, man. But here's the thing. The fact of the matter is that high school pregnancies are getting more and more common. Trust me, I work in the medical field. I see it all the time. They are big time. You know what else is? Robbery. That doesn't mean that robbery is good. I mean, bro. I mean, teen pregnancy is something that they campaign against. It's something that we don't want. It's something that isn't good, teen pregnancy. I mean, that's just, you know, are we so whacked out as America? We want to be able to take care of our child when we give birth, you know, on our own. You know, I mean, it's like, have we come to a place now where it's like, I can't believe that this is.
What's wrong with that? It's an infringement on human rights. You know what? Maybe it is, but it's still weird. You don't have a pregnant page in a yearbook, man. No, because it's not something that you're supposed to celebrate. It's celebrating. It's not the football team. It's not the field hockey team, the lacrosse team, track, chess, whatever. It's something that you're supposed to go, oh, man, this was a boo-boo. This was not supposed to happen. Whoops. Yeah. It's not like. I mean, come on. It isn't illegal, but it also isn't what we want. I mean, you should definitely have pictures of them in the yearbook, even if they're pregnant. But there does not need to be a designated pregnant page. What is that? Let's celebrate all the girls that got knocked up in high school. I mean, it's just weird to me. M1 Mindy from Claremont. Hi, I was just calling because the high school that I went to. Now has, like, a complete hall. I think it used to be the science hall that has turned into a daycare. Are you kidding me? Is it in San Diego? Oh, yeah. It's in East County. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, they have, like, a full, they installed a full playground.
And everything. They have a daycare at a high school for the students? I know that they do at colleges. I graduated in 95. And the year that I graduated, my senior year was the first year. And there was like four babies. And now they had to convert the whole hall. Imagine you went to high school and there was a daycare there. Dude, I'm okay with it. I really am. You are? I am. I am. I'm okay with it. You know why? Why? At least they're able to raise their children. They're there with them. Enabling. The definition of enabling is to help someone to do something that is wrong. When your kids are in... 10th grade and the health teacher gives them condoms, you don't want them to have condoms? No. I don't want to facilitate doing something wrong. It's preventative, man. It's preventative. So is clean needles. And I don't believe in the clean needle program either. It's like, hey, it's happening, so let's help. I don't know. It's freaking weird. It's weird. But you know what? What are their other alternatives, Mike? Yeah. I mean, wouldn't you want if they were in that situation? Besides abstinence, they had the baby. Okay. So the...
2020 is, you know, hindsight's 2020. That's out of the picture. They have the baby. They have a child. They want to get an education. Yeah. Where do they do with their kid? Consequence. You figure it out. They did. They gave him a daycare. Hang on. No, no, no. The kid didn't figure it out. The school figured it out by putting a daycare in there. My thing is, there's consequence to stuff. If you got pregnant, you got to find daycare. Hey, listen, you were an adult enough to have intercourse, right? Yeah. You're an adult enough to have intercourse and to make a baby. If you were an adult enough to do that, guess what? You know what adults do? They find daycare for their kids. Well, they can help them. Wait, wait, wait, though. I'm only 16. Guess what, genius? TB. That's the point. That's the point. I think they should help. There should be counseling in place to help them with their options. I'm okay with that. But putting it on the campus like that is kind of being like, see, it won't matter. Even if I am, it's like, you know, cake and eat it too. Believe me, there's nothing that would be weirder than to walk through a high school and hear little kids running around because your classmates have gotten impregnated and had babies. And it's distracting for the other students. I'm glad it's there for them. Is it? I'm glad it's there for them. Well, if you hear like babies crying when you're trying to take a test. She said it's in a whole separate.
deal yeah i don't think that's the issue i i think you should absolutely have a nursery at the school or at work or anywhere you anywhere that kids have babies or adults have babies i think they're just trying to help them you know obviously they know what they got themselves into once they gave birth and realized what a responsibility it is and i see totally where you're coming from mike 100 because you don't want them to think oh it's going to be easy if i have a baby i just bring it to school you don't want them to think that but you have to also try to protect your students too and help them if you want to be a good school and you want them to I mean, they're still in school. That's rad. Otherwise, they can drop out. I definitely want them to continue their education. And they should have to continue their education. You know what else they should have to do? Get a job when they're done with school at 2 or 3 o'clock in the afternoon and work their butt off to be able to get the money to send their kid to daycare. And maybe they do. Maybe they do have a job after school. But, I mean, man, it's expensive. It's expensive. Right. Right. Exactly. But you need to think about that stuff. Maybe you think about that. I hear you. I hear you. But in this room, there's five of us that never thought about any of those consequences. I guarantee. Oh, yeah. No, we did it. And I was. Wait a minute. No. Wait a minute. Wow. I did. I didn't. And if we were lucky enough to not get a girl pregnant, we were just that. We were lucky enough. But I'll tell you this. They weren't lucky. Had I gotten a girl pregnant when I was in high school? First of all, my dad.
Oh, my gosh. That's numero uno. Second of all, if I had, my mom and dad, well, first of all, Gilroy High School wouldn't have been like, don't worry about it, Mike. You can check your child into daycare here. We've got it all taken care of for you. And I'd be like, okay, cool. You've heard me go on and on about the entitlement generation. Yes. Right now, I think that we live in a time of an entitlement generation. It's a generation of kids that is, yeah. I got second or third or fourth or fifth or sixth or seventh place, and I get a trophy for that. I agree with you 100%. And so because we're in an entitlement generation, there's a whole generation of kids that go, I'm just supposed to have it. In fact, I said the exact opposite about Chris, our phone screener. That kid is amazing. How old is Chris? Chris, how old are you? He's on the phone. He's on the phone. Weird. He's working his butt off right now. Ask him how old he is. He's 21. I've never seen a 21-year-old like this. Now, I know they exist. I know you're out there. I know there are 21-year-olds listening right now that are like this. This kid works for it. He doesn't have an attitude of like, so what do I get? So what is this job going to give me? Right. What do I get out of it? What do I get out of it? It's I will do anything I can do to do this job. He commutes from L.A. Commutes from L.A. to do this job. It's unbelievable.
But we live in a generation with entitlement. And I'm thinking to myself, and I know it sounds like an old man, but when I was a kid, when I was a boy, I couldn't get a girl pregnant and they would provide, provide, provide. It's the very definition of enabling. And when Jay said, hey, I think that they should have daycare wherever anybody's got kids. Hey, listen, if our work said that they had daycare, I would think that's awesome. We're adults. We're adult people. But to tell a teenager, if you get pregnant. Don't worry about it. We'll provide the daycare for you. That just seems wrong to me. Morally, yeah, sure, it's wrong. But on a, what's the word I'm looking for? On a practical level, it makes sense. Morally, I get it. I get where you're coming from. I think it's wrong. I will tell my kids, don't have sex before marriage. I will tell them that. Why not? Jennifer does, and she just brings her baby to school. Dad, come on. She just brings her baby to school, Dad. What's the big deal? What's the big deal? What's the big deal? Because you're raising a child. You won't even have to take care of it, Dad. I bring my kids to school, and then when I come home, I'll take care of it. So don't even worry about it. Okay, good luck. Okay, then fine, I will. Feels real good. Yeah, it does. That's what she's going to do. No, that's the BS. That's the BS. Like I said, morally, I get it. Practically, it makes sense. What's the downside? What is the downside? For the kid. What kid?
The kid that would have sex and have a baby. What's the downside? The kid that has to walk around holding the baby while everyone's looking at him and making fun of him. And you get pregnant. Okay. That's the downside. Legitimate. Maybe the girls start going, oh, so cute. No. I think we're grasping straws here a little. You have a hard time. No, that's a good. I think that Sienna makes a legitimate point. Maybe there is some like embarrassment. Maybe there is. But I think Lauren's got a good point when she goes, what? All I do is take the kid to daycare. It's free. Okay, well, the daycare is not going to do everything. They're not mature enough, Jay. They're not mature enough. So now you're going to school until 2. You've got your kid. You probably have to go in there and feed the kid. Then you have to stay up all night. You have to change diapers. You've got food. They might not think about that. I'm just saying. They'll see how haggard this person becomes because I've never seen any mom that's not haggard. The fact that they are in school still, they're still paying the consequence because they had their child. They made a mistake. You made a mistake. I made mistakes. They're paying the consequence. They're still in school and they're being a mother. They're paying the consequence. The difference between those mistakes and these mistakes is that one of them. At 16 it is. It's difficult. It's not easy. Hey man, I'm 39. I wouldn't prepared. I mean, Jay's like, no, look at the consequence. It's, you know, they got to stay up. They got to do this. They got to do this. Like, I didn't even really get it until I had, until, until Jake was born. I didn't even get it. I was like.
Oh, my gosh. Now, Sienna's eyes are getting as big as saucers because she's pregnant with her first year. But she's at least been a nanny, right? You've been a nanny. I know what to expect. It's crazy. 16? Oh. It's terrifying. Hey, man. Again, morally, I get it. Practically, it makes sense. Practically. Yeah, I don't think you should say to the kid, hey, you made this stupid mistake. You made your bed and I'll lay in it. I think there should be resources made available. I just think they shouldn't be on campus. So what if it's a mile away? It might be better. Is that better? It might be even more of an arrangement. Let's say it's a mile away, but they're providing free daycare for 16-year-olds that get pregnant and have babies. Are you cool with that? No. You're not? No. Because I was okay with what Lauren just said right now. When Lauren goes, listen, I'm not saying... I'm trying to remember exactly how you phrased it. I said you made the stupidest decision. You made your bed, now lay in it. Yeah, that's it. You go... And your point was that you're not saying that. You don't want to say that. And you want them to finish school, and you need to encourage that and give them the resources to be able to do that. This is going to sound shocking, but I actually do say that. Yeah, that's your thing. You made your bed, now lie in it. Okay. And that is, I'm sorry, man, that's the way I was raised. Absolutely. My dad said, my pops was the kind of guy that said, listen.
If you're going to play like a big boy, you're going to act like a big boy. That's the way my dad raised me, man. And so there wasn't this whole thing of like practicality was. Of course it would be practical. But, Mike, you made the point that they're kids. They don't know. They didn't think about, okay, when I get pregnant, there's more than just having a cute baby on my arm. There's this. There's that. So you can't expect, you know, they made this immature mistake or whatever it was. So you can't expect them to now just have it all figured out. It's one of those things where, like, you got to, in my humble, most humble opinion, it's one of those things where I got to be careful what I say. Because, man, I sure as hell hope it never happens to me. Dude, I hope it doesn't happen to me. My boys. You've got three boys. Hey, listen. Any of my boys, as much as I want to be a good dad and raise my boys the right way, one of my boys could turn out to be cracked out, alcoholic, you know, could be, do crazy stuff. They could. And, you know, listen, nothing was more humbling than having the boys because before I had the boys.
All I know is I had a lot of opinions on parenting. Think about our dads. Before those boys were born, I would say on the radio, on the reg, I would be like, I can't believe that people aren't watching their kids all the time. Watch your kids, blah, blah, blah. I had those boys and I was like, my head's on a swivel. I'm like, oh, oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. You cannot. I mean, we do our best to try to watch those boys. all the time and be having our eyes on them all the time. But you simply cannot do it perfectly all the time. And my point with that is, is that these kids have to have a consequence to it. I'm not suggesting that the kids are bad people. All I'm saying is, is that it's unconscionable to me that we go, if you do this. We're going to make it easier for you. I'm saying to myself, what is the flip side of that? Because it's happening and has happened for a long time. And I don't think that it necessarily equated to, oh, it's just going to turn into a bunch of kids that don't get educated. They don't. I don't think that's what it turns into. I think what it turns into is I got to step up and have some responsibility here. Well, I think, man, I thank God every day that my.
Old man and my mom, they didn't turn their back on me when I was 16 making stupid mistakes or when I was 25 making stupid mistakes. Did they enable me? I don't know. Maybe. But I thank God for them every day. They never turned their back on me. And things were made to me. Things were practical for me. And I screwed up a bunch, man. But they were there for me. And turning your back and saying, hey, pal, you made your bed. You're lying. I know you're only 16, but you need to raise that child yourself on your own. I think it's a practical solution to a problem. It is a problem. And think about the consequences that the child, the baby will have to face if you just leave in the hand of a 16-year-old that is struggling to figure it out. That's one of the main things you have to think about is that baby and making sure that that baby is taken care of regardless. I absolutely think that a baby should be taken care of. There's no doubt about it. And I will say, thank God my dad turned his back on me. Thank God. Not the first mistake. Bro. I'm not talking about first mistakes. I'm not talking about, I'm telling you that there were times where my dad said, if you do that, that's it. That's it. And I look back on it and I go, that was good. It taught me something. It taught me that I don't always have my daddy to rely on. My dad is not going to have my back every single time. And if I thought that he did, I would have taken advantage of it because that's the way I'm wired. I was, am, selfish by nature. I mean, that's just.
It's kind of how I'm wired, you know? But, wow. Interesting conversation. 570-1949. I didn't see that conversation coming. Nor did I. You know what it is for me? I think that a button for me is culture. Culture. I hear you. And sometimes I look at it and I go, what happened? So check this out. Oh, and we can continue to talk about it. If anybody has... Other sides of it that you want to share? 570-1949. We are a bunch of creepers, too. Wait till I tell you what so many of us are doing while driving. Next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text. 949-MIKEY at Jeeps. Here's the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9.
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And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like it when it's cheap. Sienna. I'm a big girl now. Got married, having a baby. Now I can rent a car. Yeah. I'm in the woods. I haven't moisturized in days. Dying. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. She did. Had to sneeze. And Jay. I just got reminded of the worst haircut ever that I had. I forgot about. I had the rat tail. Oh, my gosh. On FM 94.9. Welcome back. By the way, I want to remind people that our boy Jared does the best. in terms of graphic design. He did our website. Go to MikeyShow.com. You can see what Jared does. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is the name of his website. Graphic designer that is just brilliant. He's absolutely brilliant. Does real high-end design. And if you're wanting to get a business going or maybe you have a business going right now, you don't have business cards, you're looking into getting business cards, dude will design a logo for you. He'll give you a...
business card design. He'll do the logo design. He'll give you a thousand business cards, all for 150 bucks. Really amazing. And it's just really cool. So check out his website, createyourdesignonline.com. It's our friend Jared, and he really is good. We've been talking about this topic of teen pregnancy because there's a high school. Where one of the teachers was like, I know it'll be a good idea if we do a pregnant section in the yearbook. And so we were talking about that. But when we were talking about it, somebody called in and said, yeah, did you know that they have daycares now in schools? High school. High schools. And I'm against it because I think that it is a very enabling message that you're sending to the kids, which is it's. In my mind, yet another enabling message that says, if you don't worry because. If you don't worry because. If you come in ninth place, don't worry because you'll still get a trophy. If you get pregnant, don't worry because we'll provide daycare. It's that same message of like, listen, if you come in seventh place, it doesn't mean that you're a loser.
But it also doesn't mean that you're a winner. It means that you lost this time. You work harder and then you win. That's what it means. If you get pregnant in high school, it doesn't mean that you're a loser. It just means that now you've got to work harder. Just like if you came in seventh place, now you've got to work harder to be able to support what happened. I like that analogy. And that's all I see it as. But I want to hear from people. 5701-949. People are calling in about it. Let's see. M1 Ann from San Carlos. Hi. Hi. Yeah. About the child care in school, it's not like they just can throw their kids in a daycare and they forget about them while they're in school. They have to actually do like an internship in the daycare. They have to work there for a few hours each day. They have to take parenting classes. And so if they were like a slacky student to begin with where they're falling behind, this is going to cause them to graduate later because they're going to have to do this on top of their regular classwork. Now we're talking. And they're learning how to be a parent. Yeah. I mean, hey, listen, now we're talking. I kind of like that, that there's something involved in it that is more than just I'm going to drop my kid off at a daycare at the high school. And then go to algebra. Then go to algebra. I really do like that.
I've had this conversation with people before. I don't know if we've ever talked about it on the air, but I really do think that parenting should be a part of curriculum. Oh, yeah. Because, I mean, if you ask me, most of the social problems that we have in the United States come from kids that just grew up without much direction. And I think that they grew up without direction because people don't, they don't know how to parent. Man, dude. All you got to do is walk into a Target and see some way some kids are parented. It breaks my freaking heart. When I see kids getting yelled at or and the other day, Rebecca said, babe, she goes, I almost cried at the store today because I saw some woman slap her kid in the face. And she goes, if that's what she did in front of people. Right. Like if she was willing to do that in front of people, what does she do when no one's looking? I mean, it just I mean. Dude. The over-exuberant parent at the mall with snatching their kid up by the arm or screaming at him. My wife and I can't have kids. So how do you think I feel? Or how do you think Jamie feels when we're walking through and we see a precious little angel being treated that way? We're like, Jamie's eyes well up with tears. And I. That almost just got me. I want to kick somebody. And you know me. I'll kick somebody. It makes me real.
Real mad. You should be able to pass a test to be a parent. Yeah, you can get a license. You have to have a license to fish. I love that idea so much. We could never enforce that, though. I know it. I know. You could never enforce it, but, you know. Make sure you have your fishing license on you, though, pal, before you go out and catch a fish this weekend. That's a great thing. Go have three boys on the house, you know, if you have to. It could be on the house. It's crazy. What do you think of this? 5701949. Call us and tell us what your opinion on this is. M1 Jeremy from Riverside. Hey, Mikey. Hey, how you doing, man? Hey, pretty good. How's everybody doing down there? We're doing good, bro. Well, I just wanted to add my little two cents to this. I'm actually 23 years old working for my dad, and I'm waiting until I'm married to have sex. And I hear you talk about that all the time, and I also wanted to say, hey, man, right on. I appreciate it because it's hard being a 23-year-old in this modern world trying to find a girl waiting until you're married. Absolutely. And it just makes me mad that they have these daycares because it's like, I know I'm not the only one out there. We're rare. But it's like we're trying to find someone we can spend the rest of our life with and someone we can trust and do right by God. And now it just makes it, like, acceptable that these kids can say, oh, I can have as many kids as I want because now they're taken care of and I can still go to my school and this and that. They're not taken care of, though. I mean.
I mean, they are when you're at school, but you still have to go and feed them and check on them. And then you have all night to take care of them. And the whole rest of the afternoon when you're home, they're not always going to be there. Yeah, but they are taking care of it school at school. That's what I understand that they still have to be a mother and, you know, still have to watch over their kids. And that's part of being a mom. You know, sex isn't just about having sex to have fun. It's about making babies. And that's what people need to get through their mind is it's not. accident oh i had a kid it's an accident or a mistake it's not that way at all i felt like that for a long time when i was a little kid because i was uh i was born before my parents were married and for the longest time as a little kid my parents of course told me hey you know it's not your fault you weren't a mistake blah blah blah but still you know i still felt like i was disrupting something because i'm a little kid you know i didn't know better and i just felt like i was the accident i of course understand now but it's also you know the little kid too having to go through all that stuff and Kids are sponges. I believe that from the moment they're born, they're bringing things into their mind that is going to prepare them for later in life. And even if they don't remember it, it's still, in my belief, because I'm a Christian, I believe the soul remembers that. And it kind of helps the kid develop along the way in his life. And I wanted to add that because it kind of frustrates me. I've been single for freaking seven years.
I've been waiting until I was married since I was 15. I screwed up one time, but, you know, I've begged the Lord for forgiveness. And it's just like, hey, man, you know, it makes it harder on people like us to try to do right by the Lord. And I just figured I'd call you guys and let you know. Jeremy, dude, it's brave. It's a hard thing to call in and say. And I appreciate you calling, man. Yeah, no problem, Mikey. Hey, by the way. Big ups for that guy. And listen, I say full on with the knowledge that this is a. You know, this is these are all opinions that I've only had for a short time. You know, when I was growing up, I was doing bad stuff. I was doing my thing. I was you know what I mean? And this could easily happen to me. My point is, is that I had a pops that just he didn't put up with he didn't put up with nonsense. My dad. But you still did nonsense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, this is where it's really important. This is a really important part to point out. Like I said earlier, it doesn't matter what we do as parents. We can do the best job possible. We have kids that are wired a certain way. Okay? And you're 100% right, Lauren. My dad was a disciplinarian. It doesn't necessarily mean that his discipline equated to me being a disciplined kid. Because I wasn't. I was wired to be exactly what Woods knew 10 years ago.
Yeah, and, you know, it's funny because your pops and we've all met Mr. Esparza. I wouldn't mess with that dude at all now. He would whip me now. But, I mean, think about some of the trials and tribulations that you went through in your life being a very, very disciplined kid. Oh, yeah, yeah. But, hey, listen, though. I will tell you this. There were areas of my life as bad as I was that I didn't go. You know what I mean? Like because of that discipline. Right. There were areas that I didn't go to a lot of them. Oh, dude, there's no doubt about it. There's no doubt about it. But however, we can't lose this point as much as I did. I didn't I didn't have a police record. I didn't have I didn't. There were certain things I was afraid of. I was genuinely afraid of because my dad had made me afraid of instilled that in you. He instilled it in me, you know, and.
It didn't mean that I didn't make mistakes, dude, because I did. And you know it. Yep. You know it. But I just saw I can't help. I mean, now that I'm pregnant and I know what it's like. And I and I remember being in high school and I don't remember any pregnant girls at school. But I do remember a lot of them that got abortions. And a lot of the guys that were doing the doing the slaying had no idea. No idea. But what is that? What is the what do you mean? What's what I'm just trying to say is like, you know. It's different. Like for you, I'm just like hearing everything you're saying and I agree with you, but it's like, man, you could have one floating around right now and you have no idea. But think about that, Sienna. Let's say that I did. Let's say I did and I didn't know about it. Okay, well, I didn't know about it. But if I did know about it, that's the point. What would have happened had I known about it? Yeah, but kids are still going to have sex. Hey, wait, wait, wait. By the way, if I'm a kid, I'm obviously not against this idea. I'd be totally for the idea. I'd be like, if I was that kid and I found out that I got a girl pregnant at 17, I'd be like, they got daycare here? Stoked. Sweet. I'd be totally into it. You'd also be very embarrassed. Oh, sure. There's no doubt about it. Very embarrassed. And you'd have to be picking up your kid while your boys are playing football. Yes. And that would be so hard to do. Absolutely. But who, you know who doesn't deal with that?
The guy that doesn't do what I did. But his boys that are having play in football probably are having sex with the cheerleaders. That's roulette. It is, right? It's roulette. You know what I mean? But you understand that, like, they could have used protection and it slipped through. Instead of me going, instead of me saying, I got a girl pregnant and now I'm embarrassed. And instead of me going, I can't, like, crossing my arms and being like, I can't believe that I have to. Like, it's my fault. Does anybody ever look at themselves anymore and go, it's my freaking fault? Of course they do. What's your bit you gave me the other day? It's easier to hold a flashlight than it is to look in a mirror. It's so true. It's so much easier to hold a flashlight than it is to hold a mirror. I have held a flashlight for 90% of my life. I love this philosophy. How did this happen? Why did you do this to me instead of looking at myself? So you're saying that if I'm like, okay, man, I'm going to go ahead and have some sex because you know what they've got? They've got daycare. I'm going to knock it out the park, dog. Woo! Daycare. No way. It's not going to happen. They don't want the kid right now. They know they're not ready. Jay, are you telling me that if I jump out of an airplane, I'm going to jump out of an airplane and be like, hey, I got a parachute. I'm going to make it to the ground. Woo-hoo! No, what I'm saying is that I'm not going to look at the fact that there's children's daycare. I'm not going to go, hey, good, this is a good idea.
Now I can slay. Now I can slay because I've got a safety net built in. I might as well not use a condom. I'm going to go in there and get the job done. No, I'm going to go, gosh, I got to grow pregnant. Oh, man, my life is. Totally changed. I've got all these responsibilities. I may have to quit school. I've got to get another job. I've got to help buy diapers. I've got to do all these things. Oh, thank goodness the school is going to help me. I have dug this hole so deep. Thank God that somebody's going to help me. Someone's throwing me a bomb. Anybody's going to help me. But a girl might have to think that. Yeah, you get punished. Oh, no. The school can't help you. And even having it off-site, I think the fact that it's on-site and the person can go to class. She can make her way into there. They can teach her how to be a good parent. I like that, by the way. It's brilliant. That part of it is something that just came up in this break that I hadn't heard about. They're taking classes and they have to work for it and all that stuff. Totally get. And, Jay, I'll give you this. I'll go, okay, I agree with you that kids aren't looking at it going, okay, there's daycare, so I'm going to do this. Okay, I give you that. That's not the case. Okay? But.
The problem is the point of it is not what they're thinking in their head. My problem with it is what we're providing as schools. My problem is that I don't I don't believe that we should be providing that. And I don't look at it like we're mean or that we're monsters because we don't provide daycare. For these kids, if I had gotten a girl pregnant, I wouldn't. Yes, would I like it if there was daycare? Of course I would. It provides convenience for me and the mistake that I made. And that's what it would be. However, that doesn't mean that it's necessarily okay or right. I would have paid a consequence. There would have been a consequence to it. I think you're paying it either way. You are. Yeah, you are paying it either way. But guess what? The school just made it easier. And the definition of enabling is to make something easier. when something is wrong. That's the definition of it. I think that, you know, and then, okay, then I think that's the right thing to do. And especially in this situation, if you make something easier for somebody, I mean, I don't think anybody's going to go out necessarily and get pregnant just because they've got this opportunity for school. But if you're in a bad situation, that's saying that you don't want to do anything that's charitable because it's making something easier for people that are having a difficult time. Okay. Do you think that if somebody, now let's talk about mistakes. Now I'm going to give you this.
This is something that would be against the law. But let's say that you break the law and the consequence of breaking the law is that you have to go do some community service and pick up garbage on the side of the road. Do you think that we should pay for them to have special Nike tennis shoes? Because after all, they're going to be out there for nine, ten hours picking up garbage. Why don't we make it cushy for their feet? Because you know what? Wait a minute. Because you know what? Like, hey, man, they made a mistake. They made a mistake. They're out there paying for it. They're going to pay for it anyway. It's going to be hot. It's going to be the sun blazing down. So since it's happening anyway and they are paying for it, why don't we make their shoes nice and cushy? You know what? We are making it cushy for them. You know how? How? Because they're not sitting in a jail cell. That's the cushy part. Or let's just say this. Okay, we provide them with orange vest. Why do that? Why not just let them get hit by cars? Okay, because that would have to do with... the people in the car safety. That's a human rights thing too. And if you're thinking about the babies, the babysitters, they don't have super nanny watching their kids. They're, you know, people that probably aren't getting paid very much money to watch their kids at the high school. It's not like... So that's the penalty that the quality of care isn't there? No, but I'm just doing that with your analogy. I'm comparing it. You're saying that, you know, we're going to give them Nike, really good shoes, cushy, that are good support. Right. They don't have the best babysitters of all time watching their kids, most likely if they're out of high school. No, but what they do have is...
One less responsibility and consequence that I believe they should incur. But, you know, hey, listen, I understand where that argument is coming from. I just, man, as we get further into it. One other thing I have to say is just what about the kids that are in that high school and they are walking around and they do pass that daycare? There are, I'm going to say over 75% that think, am I lucky I'm not in that situation, you know? And it's like, it's like. Birth control, it's like a good form of birth control, them seeing those crying babies every day because a lot of them have no idea. The consequence. They don't realize how much work babies are. It's like right in their face now that they're like, whoa. Think about your dumb human brain at 16 and the dumb stuff you think and the dumb stuff you did. Boy, if you see, if I'm buddies with Lauren, Lauren's my pal, and when I play baseball practice, she's at field hockey, and then Lauren gets pregnant, me as a sophomore goes. Dude, I may not want, I don't want a kid. Maybe. I mean, there's that possibility. Lauren could have got a scholarship in field hockey. He just watched that get swiped right from her. Now I'm scared to death. It's the same concept as driving by the guys on the side of the road and going, I don't want to do that.
Yeah. Cushy shoes or not. Right. I don't want to do that. Cushy shoes or not. Seriously. But go visit a prison. Go to jail for a couple weeks. And you'll see, I really don't want to do that. You could babysit Jasper for like an hour and then you know you don't have kids. Exhausted. We'll take him over to the crib. He's a sweetheart. Right now Luke's at home going, hey dad, where's the car keys? Shut your mouth. Dad, shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Did your wife. How did your wife do yesterday? Oh, she loved it, dude. She loved it. She had a blast. She helped Rebecca yesterday with the boys. She loves it. Jamie is born to be a mom. She was great. Born to be a mom. She was great with those boys. She came home and, you know, I got the big eyes. Jamie has big eyes anyway, but she looked at me and she's like... We need a baby. Really? Oh, yeah. See, I was kind of worried that she'd be there and be like, okay, don't worry. It's all good. We don't need any part of that. Dude, she's like, she spent most of her time with Ryan and with Jake. Yeah. And she's like, they're just angels. Yeah. Little, little sweet angels. She fed them and the whole thing. It was pretty cool. Yeah. 570-1949 is our number. And I said that we were going to get to this when we came back.
What is it, Sienna, that a lot of us are doing while we're driving? These are the top activities that we do in the car while we're behind the steering wheel. Ready for this? Yep. Oh, wow. Okay, 28% text behind the wheel. Check. 72% eat or drink regularly behind the wheel. Check, check, check. 29% have kissed while driving. Check, check. 35% admit to getting dressed or undressed. Behind the wheel. While they're actually driving? On my way to a baseball game after work. Had to put my uniform on. How do you do it? It's very difficult. You can't have your pants, right? Use your knees or you wait until stop light. Yeah, I've done it all too. I've done jockstrap, cup, sliding shorts, socks, baseball pants, belt, uniform, hat. Are you a Japanese afrobat? How do you do that? I've done it too. It's so. Not the jockstrap. And then cleats. putting your cleats on while you're driving. Because my old job, I got off at 5.30. We'd have games at 6. And I'd be like, I'll be there, dude. Put me in the lineup. And I'm like, get ready on the way. O'Brien, what have you put on? Anything, everything. Wetsuit. Wetsuit? Driving wetsuit? Yeah, I used to go on, like, interviews when I was at one job. I interviewed for another. And I didn't want to show up all dressed up. So rather than, like, leave the interview, go and use the bathroom at that place, just get in the car. Yeah. That kind of thing.
When you're 50 to 75 pounds overweight, it's a little bit harder to take something off and put something else on. Oh, I haven't even told you the best part. Give me, well, save that best part. Save it. Okay. Save that best part. When we come back, Sienna will tell us what a lot of us are doing behind the wheel. Of course I've never pissed. So far I've done all of them. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. If you need any more reasons to get out and make the most of this time of year, your Jeep dealer has five great ways to get you into it. Feel the freedom of a legendary Jeep Wrangler Rubicon named 4x4 of the decade by the editors of Four Wheeler Magazine.
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and Traverse. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. She was more like a beauty queen from a movie screen. Said, don't mind, but what do you mean? I would dance on the floor and around. Me too, bud. So Sienna was in the middle of telling us the things that we do while we're driving. Recap them real quick. Okay. 28% of us text. Check. 72, eat or drink regularly. Check, check. 35% get dressed or undressed. Check. 29% have kissed while driving. Check. Oh, creepy. Creepy.
Creepy how you both smiled and... Check. 23% have styled their hair or done their makeup. Check. I do my makeup in the car on the way to work every day. I just did my makeup. I know you're looking terrible. 5% of drivers sneak in a video game while driving. No. Please say that one's made up. You just did that to freak us out. It's 5%. And... No, please. I've never done that. I like girls. I don't play video games. 15% have engaged in sexual intercourse and or another sexual act. While they're driving? While they're driving. Yeah. I think that would almost be impossible. Why did them check? No! You're creepers. Where the majority of people have... What? You made a sly look on your face. I didn't say anything. I think the majority of people have probably, maybe not the intercourse, but the other sexual acts. I never did. I bet you did. I bet we all have. Jay, have you? Oh, my goodness. You guys are weird. Really? I can pretty much guarantee everyone on the show has. Yeah, guaranteed. I have not. Liar. Dude, only, listen. Liar. Are you kidding? Liar. Do you think it's because I'm like, this is not a moral thing. Really? Did you make those noise while you were driving? Yeah, because my gut was pressed up against the steering wheel. Really?
Think that. Oh, boy. Please. Yeah, he's listening to Wilson Phillips in a truck with no air conditioning. Not even ever when you're, like, really getting serious with a girl, like, to the beginning, and you're just like, yeah. I don't want to get into details about this subject with any of you. Why? Because your parents listen? What? Because your parents listen? No, because I'm listening. I didn't want details, but you had a cop to it. No, I have. I was not. No. It was not practical for me. Well, there you go. A lot of people have. Those are the top activities we do while we drive. Maybe if I drove a tractor to work. A big rig. Or maybe a limousine. Somebody driving you. Yeah, we've all been on long road trips and sometimes you have to make it right. Did you just come back from a long road trip? Oh, gross. I'm just gross. Maybe some of us are... Physically not capable. Jay's doing really quiet in there. Turn my mic off. Yeah, he did. You know Jay has. Of course he has. Jay's probably done a menage a trois. Oh, gosh. Are your kids on the way to school right now, Jay? Creepy. It wouldn't surprise me if Jay one day was like, what? I used to direct adult videos. Yeah, yeah.
Was that weird? One of the many jobs that he's had. One of his jobs. Yeah. I used to be best boy. I used to star in them as well. I didn't tell you guys that I was an adult film star. I was a key grip. I was a fluffer. I was the stunt double for all the naked guys in the movies. That's right. We talk about oil spills. He was an offshore driller for a while. He used to dive down three miles. I'm like, ah! Really? Yeah, I worked on a fishing boat, too, for six months. I'm like, what? Yeah, he's like, I used to be J. Edgar Hoover. Really? Wow. You tell us that. I never knew. Oh, God. That's the best. Did you guys ever notice that in that... You ever notice? You ever notice? Andy Rooney. You ever notice that in that hall bath on the paper towels, there's directions for how to wash your hands? Of course. Ridiculous. Every day. In the bathroom. Lavarse los manos or something like that. Lavarse. Lavarse. But it also gives directions for like how to put soap in your hand. Rub together. Rinse.
Use warm water. Yeah, I'm like, really? Grab towel. Grab towel. Grab towel dry. I'm like, really? Can you figure that one out? Thank goodness that was there. It's not the, there's like, it was making me think of all the stupid stuff that there's instructions on that you go, why is there instructions on that? Yeah. Shampoo, maybe. Shampoo. Oh, I hate the cell phone. To leave a message, wait for the beep. Really? What? First message I left. Amazing. I had already started talking. Yeah, I was talking right over you. To fasten your safety belt slip. Oh, on the plane. Yeah. Slipped a little metal part through it. Yeah, and then pull for adjusted. That's great, because I was going to tie it in a knot. Safety first. You know what I mean? I mean, Brian Regan. Brian Regan's got like a whole thing on that. You ever look at a Pop-Tarts box? They have directions on there. Can there be a simpler food item than popcorn? Like if the directions weren't on there, would somebody... How do I get that goodness in me? They have two sets of directions. In case you don't understand one set, you abandon that whole track and get on something a little easier for yourself. They have a set of toaster directions, which, believe it or not, is more than one step. How could there possibly...
Be more than one step. I can only think of one. Step one, toast the Pop-Tart. Go ahead, toast them. Hey, are you still reading this? But they've managed to break them into smaller increments. These are some of the actual steps. I would love to be in the room watching somebody who has to consult these toaster steps. Okay, number one, remove... pastry from the pouch. I see where they're going with this. It's great. Have you ever microwaved a Pop-Tart? Yeah, that's the other set of directions. And it's awful. Three seconds. I didn't know you could microwave. Yeah, and they're terrible. How long does it take? It says three seconds, but on ours, it took me like a minute and a half. Does it really say three seconds? There's a box. You know that.
I used to get Unisom to go to sleep, and it says on the box, may cause drowsiness. You should say don't make any plans. Microwave on high for three seconds. Three. That's... Dude. Nothing cooks in a microwave. Why don't you just blow hot air on it from your mouth? Yeah. Have you used your cigarette lighter? Right. The cigarette lighter on your cell phone. Store an armpit for four seconds. Have you ever seen the... package of nuts that says, warning, contains nuts. You ever seen that? Because people have nut allergies. Why would a person with a nut allergy be opening up a little bag of nuts? Smokehouse almonds. Smokehouse almonds. Probably because they're freaking delicious. Yeah. And I would swim in a pool of those. Maybe they just like the little dancing peanut with the monocle on the top. Could be. Maybe that's it. What's sad is now when you go to Starbucks and McDonald's and stuff, they have to put on those little coffee cups. You know, caution contains hot liquid. Hot. Yeah. The way I want it. Yeah, we know, you know. Oh, good. Because I couldn't remember if I ordered the...
Frappuccino that was iced, or this boiling hot coffee. Well, that's because of that one jackal. Complainer. There's also directions on Southwest's little bag of nuts that tells you how to eat them. It says, open packet, eat nuts. It's true. Shocking. It says that on the little bag. Open packet, eat nuts. What's the shampoo bit? Place shampoo in hand. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Repeat. So that you don't go onto your head and then get out of the shower. So that you don't do that. Because too many people did. Too many complaints. And finally they were like, we should tell them to lather and then put it in their hair. Because too many people are eating it. Do you use shampoo? No. Okay. He's bald. I don't have any hair. Say what? You put soap on your head? Yeah. Can we talk about that? It's interesting. This is so great. Like, I've shaved my head with like a tube before. And it's really short. And I get in and I shampoo and condition. Do you do? I would too. Oh, I would. If I had little tiny, you know. You have little nubbins on there. Yeah, but that's only if I don't shave for a couple days. If I don't shave my head. There's hair follicles that are still, you know, with oils. I use, I have a man.
Sponge. Weird. Black, because I'm tough, you know. Obviously, that's why I have a black one. It might as well be pink, right? Is it one of those loofahs? Yeah, it's one of those little sponges, you know. Can you put the soap in it? I have a man sponge. I've got one. They sell them for guys now in the same place that they sell Axe deodorant. It's like, you know, for a badass lather. Mine actually has boobs on it. So you know it's for a man. That's what it is. But I mean, seriously, it's a black little sponge, which when I saw black, I was like, yes. Sold. Sold. I'm now vindication. Hey, you're like Johnny Cash. Take a shower. Right. It's like, I'm Johnny Cash for this brand new soap sponge. Man. Don't want to be a wussy. Why don't you go ahead and grab one of these black sponges and lather. I think those may be one of the greatest inventions of all time. Those little sponges. Remember having to wash with a wash rag? Yeah, it's gross. So soap runs right off of it. Scrub yourself and there's nothing on there. Well, not only that, but I always think that no matter what, when you grab a washcloth in the shower, it's slimy. I feel that way. Yeah, I feel that too. I love washcloths. You do? Yeah. I like it for my face. I think washcloths work better than the loofahs.
You do? Yeah, they, like, if you're exfoliating and stuff and you have a scrub, it really gets in there. The loofahs don't really. But when you go across your skin, there's no, you don't see anything. I like the feeling of seeing a bunch of suds. I see stuff. It's like it's, you scrub it off, though, with the washcloth, don't you? No, I see it. I mean, I get a good lather going. You do? Yeah. I just made another big purchase from Grooming Lounge. Weird. How much? I have. What'd you drop? A couple bills? Maybe keep your eyes on your own favor. What is it? I got moisturizer for the face with SPF 15. I'm not going to make fun of you. That's a good thing. I got a brand new type of soap for in the shower. Is it like special soap? Who makes it? Kiehl's. Kiehl's is the best. Kiehl's is good. The best. Yeah. Doesn't get any better. It's amazing. Is it just for men? No, it's for women too. Kiehl's? They have a stand-up. In Nordstrom. It's the best. It explains why I've never heard of it. Yeah, I don't. It's too expensive for me to buy. It's so expensive. It's the best. It works really good. I get a new Kiehl's product. It's like Christmas. And I'm like. Okay, we're getting real metro over here, guys. Real metro. There's another great men thing called Anthony's for Men. Anthony Logistics. Anthony. It's the greatest. So good. Anthony.com. What's the matter? I can't hear myself. Uh-oh.
Oh, my gosh. I don't know if my mic is down or my headphones are jacked. Oh, your mic was down a little bit. Oh, there we go. It was me. Okay, thanks, Mike. It's okay. I saw her hopping like she caught on fire. Gosh, my heart is like... Oh, jeez. Something's different. You still use the Johnny Varvado, so I recommend it. Oh, wow. The skin modifier. Bring it for me. I'll take it. I'll give you. I'll take it off your hand. Bring it tomorrow. My face is so greasy. You're not doing it right. What does that mean? Read the instructions. I did. It said to put it on my face. Put a dime-sized amount. See, maybe we do need the dumb instructions. Maybe we do. Maybe we do. I just brought that full circle, pal. Now I'm kind of sold on it. In case of emergency, find the nearest exit. Really? Okay. You know what I was going to do? I was going to scale the walls to the ceiling. Where's the farthest exit away from me right now? Because I want to go there. Yeah, where's the farthest one? It's a stupid... What are instructions that we get that are just dumb? Like, what do we need that? How to wash our hands. I've been handling that for a while. But you know what? We're supposed to wash our hands for longer than we do. Yeah. You're supposed to hang in there for a while and scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub. We just, like, real quick, underdone.
Yeah. You're supposed to be able to sing happy birthday. Yeah. Is that right? I was sitting there thinking about it and I was like, what's the rule? What's the rule? Yeah. Twice? I read that a couple days ago. Happy birthday twice. And I was like, well, I absolutely don't even get halfway through happy birthday. It's like five minutes. Maybe that's just for me because I'm pregnant. Not in Spanish. I think that's for me. In American. Let's see. 570-1949 is the number. If you want to text us, you can. 949-MIKEY. At gmail.com. We're talking about weird stuff that we see direction wise that we're like, why does there have to be directions for that? Does it freak you out when you go into a bathroom somewhere and it says employees must wash their hands? Oh, yeah. That's everywhere. It always reminds me of like how many people are not paying attention to it. And I wasn't thinking that till I read the sign. I agree. I'm like, great. I have private part bagel. Ew. We just ate bagels. I have a friend. I do too. That never washes her hands. Oh, why? And I don't say anything because it's like, how do you bring that up? Oh, I said it to a girlfriend. Yeah, but that's like. I said it to a girlfriend. Remember when I told you I used to like tell girlfriend stuff because I wasn't thinking and I just used to go, don't say thinking, say thinking. Yeah. Remember? She never put a G in. Same girl. It was the same girl. You know what she would do? She would go to the bathroom and sometimes I would not hear the,
sink and so i finally go how come you didn't wash your hands see but like you would think you even she would try to hide it or something my friend doesn't even try to hide it really she's like you know based like she doesn't say hey i didn't wash my hands but it's like flush and she's out yeah that was what well there's some people that say number one doesn't always that's what she said she goes i she goes it's not like i touched something and i said what do you mean she goes well it's all toilet paper and i said it doesn't matter It doesn't matter. It's still like cleanliness, isn't it? Woods is like, really? When you're at home, you don't. I don't want to wash my hands in my house. See, the only time I don't is if I get up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom. And I don't want to wake myself up with cold water. You know why I don't? It wastes water. That's why. It wastes water. If I'm in my own house, number one, I don't always. Because there's not bacteria there. And it's wasteful. It's very wasteful. I always do during the day, but like I said, at night. Do you guys, if you get up in the middle of the night, you're not going to wash your hands. You just want to go to the bathroom and go back to sleep. Yes. Okay. I'm glad we're all in the same page. Even at work, I won't necessarily wash my hands. I will because of other people that touch the door and stuff. Well, here's my deal.
I go in there. I don't want to touch the handles. I mean, who came up with the handles on a sink to wash your hands? Yeah, I know. That's disgusting. The guy was just doing his thing, and then he walks over, turns the water on. And then you have to turn them off. So what I do is I go in there, I do my business, and then I grab a tissue or whatever it is off the thing, and then I open the door, and I throw that away. I do, too. So you don't wash your hands? I will do that. No, no. I will wash my hands and open the door with the paper. Right, but would you turn the sink on with the paper? Jay, you just got me something. I never thought about that. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, you just touched Garrett's piece. Detroit. Oh, my gosh. I don't want to touch anything in there. It's just that. You just did. I never thought about the faucet. Yeah, the knobs are, like, the worst. Because I always, I had turn it, and then I get a paper towel to open the door. But it's like, I just touched the knobs. Now it's stuck on me. You got Garrett, JR, Jeremy, me. You're right. I didn't even realize it until you said it right now. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. Now you just rubbed our pieces all over your forehead. Wow. No, you know why? I know why. You know why you're wrong? Because they have those ones that you press it and it goes, and it turns on and shuts off automatically. How did we get it? Huh? How did we do it? We pressed it too. Real sweetly. Pre-hand wash. Okay, you press it, you put your hand there, you get your hand wet. And it goes off automatically. It turns off automatically. But you just said you pressed it. You have to, though. Yeah, but then you washed your hands. Yeah. You washed your hands of it.
And it goes up automatically. But if you're right, though. But if you hit the knobs again, you hit the knobs again. What about in that one? It's automatic. No, that one. The automatic ones with the automatic paper towel dispensers. Brilliant. Whoever came up with those, I love you. Those are cool. Except when the sensor doesn't work. You're like waving. It's funny, down in Mexico, they've got the little thing underneath where the water comes out and you just push it to the side and you can wash your hands. Always getting wet. You know what I'm talking about? It's like a little hangy-down, like a uvula-looking thing. That's a weird way to put it. Well, the port-a-potty ones, you pump it with your foot. Yeah. I didn't know they had them in port-a-potty. Some of them do. They'll have a nice little wash section on the side. Yeah, you guys, it's called a well. Yeah, I used a port-a-potty. No, they do. They have a pump with your foot. Like special events. I used one on Sunday at my baseball game, before the game, and here was me. Doing my business. Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. I look down, and I go, Yeah. And I had to put my cup back in the whole bit and walked out. Anything grosser. Think about girls. It's so much worse for girls. We just sit on it. No way. You hover. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but I hover, but it's still, it's just like a touch of the back of your thigh or something. We got a break anyway. He just grossed himself out. Wow.
It's so funny when he grosses himself out. He's panicking his face. Oh, dude, you will. I'm sure. In the studio. Probably be the first day in our new studio. Oh, great. Do you know who I want to talk to? Me? I want to talk to the TomTom girl. Me too. I haven't talked to your TomTom girl in a long time. I talked to her. You don't really need her much anymore. Oh, what? I kind of know where I'm going. It's a breaker heart. I got my beach picked out. I know how to get home. That's the thing. I bet she wants you to probably start figuring out some new places to go. So she's got some, you know, she needs to have a purpose in your life. She's probably bored. Yeah. I pay good money for her. We'll talk to her in a second.
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I love to nap now. Lauren. Yep. I admit when I'm wrong. And Jake. I love that sappy movie. On FM 94.9. Starfield. It's been so long since I have met you here. Probably my favorite band ever. Really? Mm-hmm. Bold statement. That is a bold statement. Yeah, I just never, I never play Starfield. Probably my favorite band ever in terms of like just getting in my soul. Sounds a little bit like Ryan Cabrera. You know what? I was playing this song the other day, and I thought this, because they will go from sounding like rock to sounding like pop to sounding like alternative. They have so many different ways. I like that. And when I heard this one, I thought you were kind of right. I thought that myself. I thought, yeah, it sounded like that. What's that Ryan Cabrera song that's real popular? Oh, it was out like 10 years ago. Whatever it is, I know what you're talking about. Is it great, Ryan Cabrera?
Let's see. Welcome back. It's a Mikey show. I have on the phone, Noodles. Do you guys know Noodles? Is that another band I've never heard of? No, a lot of people thought, hey, is it the guitar player for, is it the guitar player for, you better keep them separated. Who's that? Nirvana or Offspring? Offspring. Let's not. Noodles, actually. Are you there, Noodles? Noodles is Morgan Freeman's cat. Really? Oh, weird. Are you Spade? Really? Morgan Freeman's cat, Noodles, is on the phone. What's the deal with Shawshank Redemption? Oh, he's purring. It means he's happy. Mikey's making him happy. Who do you like in the NBA Finals? Cleveland's already out.
The Lakers, right, Noodles? Yeah. Kobe is strong right now. Thank you, Noodles. He's got a hair ball. He's got a hair ball. He's all choked up. Bye, Noodles. Bye. Oh, gosh. That was Noodles. He's cute. What a cute name for a cat. That Morgan Freeman. Hey, Woods. Hey. What are you doing? I had to pee. You missed Noodles, did I? Hey, do you have your TomTom in your backpack? Yeah, I do. Yeah, can you break her out real quick and talk to the TomTom girl? I'm going to plug her in. It's been a while. I know, dude. I haven't really needed her. She put backup batteries in it. What's she been up to? I haven't really needed her. She is. Guy knows where he lives now and kind of learning his way around the city. TomTom, do you feel left out because Woodsy hasn't been using you?
I'm feeling a bit segregated from the show, Mikey. Yeah, bet. It's been a while, right? It's been quite a while, but I've been learning a lot by spending so much time with that kid. What have you learned? What have you been learning? He's inspired me to try my hand at stand-up comedy. But I'm not even a stand-up. Yeah. How has he inspired you? He listens to some of the greats in his car, such as Carrot Top, Gallagher. And especially George Lopez. Really, Woods? Do I? Wow, Woods. Sometimes, Mikey, Woods asks me to pull his finger so that he can pass gas. Now that's true. I believe that, yeah. That means he wants to flagellate. That's true. That's a gross word. It's exceptionally funny. She loves it. She loves that bit. She doesn't have a nose. She's into potty humor. Yeah, because she doesn't have a nose. She's just a little computer. That's correct. Watch. Here, pull my finger. That was a lot. You got her. You got Tom Tom Girl. Every time. I get her. Every time. Very humorous. Thank you, Woods. You're welcome, hon. Why don't you try something out, Tom Tom Girl? Well, Mike.
Oftentimes, he allows me to practice knock-knock jokes on him while we travel to his favorite restaurant, Kehlani's Hawaiian Restaurant, located 22 miles in Sanitas, California. He does love Kehlani's. I do love me some Kehlani's. Macaroni salad. I bathe in that macaroni salad. But now he doesn't need directions to him. He knows how to get there. Yeah, now I know exactly where I go. So sad for the TomTom girl. Yep. Would you like to hear a bit of my shtick? I would love it. Knock. Sorry. Whoa. Sorry. Did she say knock? Knock. Knock. Knock. Go ahead. Knock. No. See, the timing's not very good. They have that delay. There's a delay in their voice. It's a delay in the... Say knock-knock. Yeah, throw in two knock-knocks. Recalculating inflection. Knock-knock. It's too fast. Too fast. You've got to slow it down. Recalculate it. Recalculating inflection. Knock. Knock. No. Better, not great. No, not good. We're off to a bad start. Getting there. Getting there. Maybe you should just go with it. Fair enough. Okay. Yeah, but you can't. Who's there? Juno. Juno who? Juno. Juno who? Juno what time it is. Wow. Where's the crickets? Where's the crickets? Oh, my God. Give me the crickets, please. Give me the crickets. This is good stuff, Mikey. I need another. Oh, my gosh.
That she doesn't have the timing. That's the timing. Well, the joke's terrible. The joke's terrible. Maybe I try another one. Yeah, try it. Yeah, maybe it's just the first one. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Juicy. Juicy who? Juicy fruit. What's happening? Where'd you learn these? What? These aren't mine. I don't take credit for these. Was that a George Lopez tape? You're like, where do you hear this? Would seem to like some of these the last time I tried them out on him. I'd had a few cocktails listening to you at my house because I wouldn't have cocktails and get in the car. Nice cover-up. Good one. We're all like, oh, really? He was doing heroin. Mikey, now you go. Now I go what? What do you mean? Your turn to say a knock-knock joke.
I thought you were the knock-knock joke person. So you want me to say... Now you say... Knock-knock? Who is located? No, no, no. No. I'm not understanding the problem, Mikey. No, no, no. I say knock-knock. You say who's there. Knock-knock. Who is there? Well, I don't have the... What? I'm so confused. She doesn't really get... She doesn't get how it works. She doesn't realize, like... She has to have the jokes. Right. She's relying too heavily on me to have the jokes. You know what I mean? Mikey, I think that this one will get you right where it hurts. I'm ready. I'm ready. Is that the proper expression? No, it isn't. But go ahead. What do you got? Knock. Knock. Who's there? Justice. Justice who? Justice. I thought no one home. Oh, my.
That was the worst. Those are dad jokes. I want a CD of it. Just as I thought. Nobody's home. What is with the turn signal noise you keep playing, Mikey? It's not. It's crickets. What is crickets? Cricket wireless located 0.7 miles. She doesn't understand. She's a tom-tom device. Crickets happen when you tell a joke and nobody gets it. She has no timing. What the heck? She has no timing. Walk up, walk up. Oh, wow. No timing. Thank you, Tom Tom Girl. Thanks, Tom. Thank you for the opportunity, Mikey. Back in my bag. Stay tuned to see me at the world famous comedy store or possibly the Apollo. Hey, maybe you work out some of the material. Maybe you learn a knock-knock joke and help me out, Mikey. Maybe that's what I do. It's good to see her. It's been a while. She's been sitting in your back. Maybe she's just got some dust in her knobs. Possibly. A little dust in the knobs? Yeah. Dust in the knobs. It's going to be a new way for us to get into our hotel room. It kind of scares me. It could affect us kind of negatively. I'll tell you what it is.
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They went from using a key to using a little card that you slide in, and the light turns green, unless you're me. Or me. And then you put the thing in, and every time it's red, and you go down to the lobby and have to have them redo it. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. That must be nuts. All the time. Every time. This is me. This doesn't work in the door. Yep. And then, what's worse? You go down there and go, I'm sorry. They reactivate it. You go all the way up. doesn't work again, then you're like, this time you're coming up with me to make sure it works. I'm going to drag you by your ear. And I always go, maybe there's an art to sticking a card in a door. I think there is. There's an art to it. Because whatever the art is, I don't know what it is. You have to be patient. You can't rush it. It's not like a debit card. Mikey's not super patient. We were out in the water yesterday, and it's weird. Whenever Mikey gets in the water, the waves stop. I'm not kidding. Waves are crashing, and Mikey paddles out, and they're like... It's density. It looks like a lake. That's me. It looked like a lake. I have that effect. And he would go, Woodsy, where's the waves? I'm like, dude, you got to wait. What do they call it? You got to wait for your set. Yeah, you got to wait for your set. It could be like 10 to 20 minutes. And we're waiting there. Mikey's like, I'm going to try to catch this one. I'm like, no, it's too little. And then he's like...
Goes in a little bit. I'm like, come on, buddy. Come on. I thought you were talking about when I go, maybe we wait 30 minutes and another one comes along. Sometimes it is. But it's worth the wait. It's worth the wait. Just look at what's going on out there and talk. This big wave goes by and Woods goes, ah, we missed it. We missed it. Don't worry. We'll wait 30 minutes. You know what I hate about hotel room keys? The fact that they don't have the room number on them. That's in case you lose. And it's so they can reuse them, right? Yeah. So I came to town and was visiting friends and Kim was at the hotel and I said, I'm just going to go out for a quick drink. I came back and I could not remember the floor I was on and I could not remember the room. Just one drink, huh? I started going around and just trying doors at random. I was like, oh, gee. Yeah, that works good. Nothing happened. So then I went downstairs to the lobby. Nobody was at the desk. What room am I in? Yeah, it was exactly the same. My name is Jay. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I've stayed at the Marriott a thousand times. This is never happened to me. Sir, this is the Holiday Inn. Why doesn't this card have a number on it? A number? A number. There's no number on here. Give me a number and a number. I knew you got off the elevator, and you went left, and then another immediate left, so I went, like, floor after floor, and finally went, click, click, a little green light, and I was like, you are kidding me. What's the thing? Are you supposed to carry the little...
paper container it comes in? The little sheath. You're supposed to carry that sheath around everywhere? Yeah. They just do it so you know. So you don't forget. If you stay in like a motel, they give you like, the keychain has the number on it. Hey, creeper. The Batesman. Have you written that by the hour? Staying at a bunch of stuff. Yeah, Lauren's like, if you get the by the hour ones, generally. You go to the motor lodge in. Yeah. You have to bring your own sheath. On your lunch hour. Ask for Fred. He'll take real good care of you. So what are they doing now? Well, now you, You know, I'm in on this. They're testing it right now. Pretty soon, you'll be able to use smartphones, Blackberry, iPhone, to get into your room. Now, let me tell you the awesome part about this. You skip the whole checking in at the front desk process. That's cool. You download a little application on your cell phone, and what it will do is they give you access to open your room door. They tell you what room you're in and how to get there, and all you do is you hold up the phone to the little keypad and... Scans. Sold, sold, sold. I'm totally sold. Yeah, they're testing it right now at the Holiday Inn in Chicago for 60 days. And then they're also doing it at the Houston Downtown Holiday Inn. Yeah, sounds real cute. Starting next month is when they're going to do it. Sounds cute. Until somebody figures that out. Figures out how to hack that. But who's going to take the time to figure out? Somebody. Well, I guess we're celebrities are saying. Who's going to take the time to stick a little video camera up to a peephole at a hotel? And get Aaron Andrews nude.
You know what I mean? I kind of like it, though, dude, because the check-in bit is the worst. But celebrities don't have to stand in line. They already have your info. It's like, why do I have to talk to you again? You ever been to Vegas? I was just thinking that. You hear, like, bling, bling, bling. You're like, I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. And there's a 45-minute wait. And you're standing with your bags. And here's me. I'm like, come on. I was thinking the same thing. Oh, I think it's brilliant. It's like putting a kid in a toy store, like a Chuck E. Cheese and being like, wait. Wait. I like it. I like it. I just want them to dial the kinks out. Dial it in. Well, they say that if this trial is successful, it could be extended across the companies, meaning the Holiday Inns network across the country. And there's going to be sensors fitted to about one in five of each hotel rooms. Question. Answer. When you guys go to a hotel, do you have... momentary anxiety every time the person says, can I get your name, please? And you give them your name. Do you have momentary anxiety as they're looking at the computer? That they won't have you. That you're not there? Yeah. Every time. Do we all do that? I do it every time. Every...
Every time. I booked a rental car yesterday for when I go out of town. And I'm convinced that when I get there, I'm going to be like, I don't have you. I don't have that. Yeah, that happened to me coming back from Mexico. We had to change our flight to come back a day early. And so we get up there and, you know, we called in, changed, paid the fee to change our flight a day earlier. I get to the counter after a two-hour drive in Mexico. Everybody else's names checks through. Mine's the only one that's not up there. Is there anything worse than seeing the girl looking at her computer screen with a mouse in her hand? Taking too long. Taking too long. You see her shake her head a little? Yeah, she shakes her head a little and she goes, and she doesn't look at you, but she goes like this. Is it Ralph Esparza? Yeah, without looking at you, she goes, what was your last name again? Esparza. Okay. You get the... And they keep staring at the screen. And they're staring at the screen. They're not looking at you. And they go, and then under her breath, she goes, see you here. Let me try by your phone number. Oh, my gosh. When they have to start going to the other stuff. Let me get your number. Can I get your number? Do you have your social? Do you have an ID? Can you give me the ID? Still nothing. They always have the other O'Briens, like every other.
Is it Ian? You said Ian, right? Let's see. Catherine O'Brien? No, that's not Ian. No, no. Could you have put it under Lisa, not Lauren? How about this one? No. Could you have booked it under a different name? Yeah. Why would I do that since I'm flying? I forgot. I booked it under Stanley Mintz. I booked it under Stanley Mintz. That's what it is. Because sometimes I forget. And my name's Mike Esparza, but I, for whatever reason, go Stanley Mintz. I'm really drawn to the name Stanley. Yeah. Yeah, I'm afraid you're going to have to leave. You're going to have to leave. They're not going to say that. We do have the penthouse suite available. $75,000. I'll take it. It's $4,000. Is that okay? It's a little more. It's $3,500 more. Is that okay? Why not? Yeah, that's fine. Just put it on my credit card. So like in 50s movies when somebody would crash and the person in the car would go, oh, well. I have a clip of that. I'm going to start playing that clip. Oh, well. I have no idea what you're talking about. You don't? No clue. You don't know what I'm talking about? You need to cricket yourself. You guys know, right? When that happens? Nope. Oh, wow. That may be the first reference you've ever said that I didn't get.
No, the Barefoot Manolo. Oh, yeah, Barefoot Contestants. Barefoot Contestants. Barefoot Manolos? I have a movie for you, Woods. What is it? It's, I wonder if you might like it. Endless Love? Yes, it's Endless Love. Friends can listen to Endless Love in the Dark. Really, Jay? Again? You guys, this is your song. I'm sick of it. Already? He's only done it twice. I'm sick of it. Michael, there's only you in my life. So this means Mike's Diana Ross, then? Yeah, obviously. I have to be the subservient one. He's catching. The bottom. Shut it. Shut your mouth. He can say he's catching. Shut your mouth. Really? I didn't hear it. He said it. I didn't hear it. He said it. I didn't hear it. He said it. I heard it. Thank you. But you made it worse. If a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to see it, it didn't really fall. It didn't really fall. Oh, gosh. Didn't it? Tonight's the American Idol finale. Tonight they decide. Thank God. It's been on, what, four years to decide this person? Hey, but rest easy, because there'll be a brand new season in six days, I'm sure. A show that never ends. No. God. Yes, there's two contestants left, Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWise. What are they going to do about that name? Bowersox? Yeah, are they going to change that, you think, if she wins it? 100%. She'll just go by Crystal.
Crystal, yeah. She changes to Shannon. You know what I like is she's different than any other contestant that we've had and won, and, like, as a winner. How's she different? She has a kid, and she's kind of, like, has this hippie vibe, and she's blonde with, like, blue eyes. She has dreads. She's cool, yeah. She's missing a tooth on the side. No, it's like a... She's a snaggletooth? It's a hole. It's like a big... Yeah, yeah. But, no, she's, like, one of those people that... it's effortless for her to sing. Like, it just comes out naturally. It's like me. And Lee, though, Lee DeWise, you know, I didn't know if he was going to be making it this far, but now that he's there, he's been killing it the last few weeks. But Simon Cowell made his prediction on Ellen yesterday. He says he's going to give it to Lee. He thought weeks ago, Crystal would have been hers 100%, but now Lee's giving her a run for the money. So last night, they sang for the last time. I think Crystal Blazer Socks will win. Bower Socks. Yeah. That's right. Who cares? She'll only sell nine records anyway. But you want to know something? It's going to be a big deal tonight because it's Simon Cowell's last time on the show. Holy cow. That actually is a big deal to me. It's a big deal. You could tell he judged and gave his critique to Crystal. She was the last one to sing last night. And he was like, I've lost my last time saying this. And I was like, I almost cried. Woods, I know you don't watch that show. You probably never have. I've had to before.
Listen, if there was one thing I appreciated about that show, it was Simon Cowell. Of course. You know why? Because he was brutally honest. And he was right a lot of the time. He was right. He's... It's his show. Imagine that. It's not. Wow. The only opinion that romantic. That's crazy. Well, he's now. Do you guys know that Jerry Seinfeld, actually, a lot of episodes of Seinfeld were kind of what he wanted to do? It's weird because it had his name. But if you agree and you're like, wow, the guy's being honest. Like, he's calling it. Like, you see, it's not just giving you that stupid bit. Oh, this is wonderful. It's not Simon Cowell's show. Simon Fuller. Yeah, she's right. Didn't he do it in England? In Britain. That's why he's leaving America's Got Talent because now he's bringing Britain's Got Talent. That's why he's leaving American Idol because he's bringing Britain's Got Talent to the U.S. And that's a show that he's going to judge and produce. He has his hands in that. He's leaving American Idol. As only a judge. He was never more than a judge? No. Why was he the head judge? He wasn't Simon Fuller. He wasn't the head judge. There's no such thing. He was just the last judge.
He was the most respected opinion because most people, yeah. The other ones would go, yeah. Or, let me tell you something, dog. You know what? I'm going to make a prediction and I think that we may see a little bit of Paul Abdul tonight on the finale. I don't know. I could be wrong. That's my own prediction. That'd be pretty crazy. But I also heard Ryan Seacrest last night say that they're going to do a bunch of really special, cool things for Simon tonight. Are you going to watch? Yeah. Are you going to watch? I'm a news girl. I need to come prepare the TV. Jay, are you going to watch? I might. Chris? It's the finale. It's the finale. One more thing we've got to go. 17 million bees. 17 million bees. It's a horror movie. How would you like to be the truck hauling 7,000 beehives to Minneapolis? Detroit. And then getting into a four-vehicle crash when you know you have 7,000 beehives in your truck. And they estimate that to be 17 million bees? 17 million bees. That's a lot. Yeah, I'm sure they know about how many bees are usually in a hive, right? Who doesn't? I don't know. Wow. And they all just are on the loose. Well, yeah. They were going towards Bauer Honey, which is in northwestern Minnesota.
Big honey country up there. Wow. You know what, man? Is it? Yeah. Those bee... I was like, I don't know. Honey's in the name. Those beekeepers, they're a trip, man. They get stung every day. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds. They build up some sort of immunity? Yeah. Feels real good after a while. They don't care. I saw them on Dirty Jobs. That's a dirty one. Yeah, man. They get stung so many times that it just doesn't hurt. So what happened? The bees are just out swarming around? Yeah, they ran loose. No, they told them they'll rust every single one of those little suckers. They got little mini tiny handcuffs. They have little tiny handcuffs. Wing cuffs. Wing cuffs. What do bees say when it's hot? What? Swarm. Come on, guys. That was bad. Tom Tom got more love than I did. Get me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. Terrible. It's cute. Swarm. Swarm. That's what I'll tell Jenna. Swarm. Cute for little kids. Swarm. I don't get it. Swarm. It's warm. Swarm. Swarm. Idiot. Idiot. All right, well, Hillary's in. Hello. Swarm in here, you guys. No, it's Swarm. All kinds of good stuff. Louis XIV, Silver Sun, Pickups, The New Holds Steady. I finally burned a copy of it last night. I borrowed it from Garrett. It's good. And I've been listening to it, you know, this morning. So I'm going to play something from that. We'll see. Clash.
Yeah. Weird. Weird. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we will come back and do this again tomorrow morning at 6. The Mikey Show is out.