The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 05/28/10
Friday, May 28, 2010
Friday May 28, 2010
Lauren is on a trip back home to New Jersey, but the room is packed with M1’s, most of them there to present Mikey with birthday presents. A military cougar kills bank accounts of unsuspecting dudes. Mikey’s big zit cover up dilemma begs the question, is it Sally to cover up a zit with make-up? The Padres draw less than the Kansas City Royals, Woods reports, but Mikey and Sienna still are not on the bandwagon. Elin Woods is very meager and humble; she only wants a quarter billion out of Tiger. Justin Bieber’s nemesis is glass doors, apparently. Little Whiz Pop Quiz didn’t work out at first as Sienna’s jugs scared moms from letting their kids talk to her, so she brought out the ace card, her dog Zipper. One of the kids is a 4 year old Mikey. An emailer can’t stand hanging out with his in-laws and needs advice. Danny gives Mike his birthday presents from us M1s and they prove to be a big hit! 50 Cent lost so much weight, he looks like crackhead. The Urban Survivor takes on a buffet and reinvents the French fry. A new game called MIDI Madness is introduced with callers trying to guess what song it is played in MIDI form. Brett Michaels keeps having surgeries, and reality shows, and rock concerts. Because of him, headband sales are up 40% across the nation. Luke calls in demanding designer diaper jeans while blasting a cig. Sienna’s friend did not know she was pregnant until the eighth month, which Mikey finds hard to believe. Frankie defends make-up wearing dudes. A Michigan woman who fell asleep on a flight woke up to an empty, locked plane and now is suing for millions. Hoyle had his first drink at 25. The nastiest little injuries are next and Jay talks about injuries to his junk because he does not wear underwear. The Kid has issues with chaffing and needs “butt paste”. Sienna’s Q-Tip story will make you squirm. Danny gets the button! What did he say to deserve that? Woods and Jamie plan on stuffing there dog Penny Bell when she dies. Taxidermist audio follows, what pose do you put your deceased pet in? Mexican Spaghetti is official for the next meet and greet! Sister Lynn, the crime fighting nun has Woodsy remember his Catholic school shenanigans. Found money? Keep it or turn it in? Gary Coleman’s condition in hospital sees a Woodsy joke cause controversy. Gary Coleman, RIP.
Bumper Music
| 1. The Kid is Hot Tonight by Loverboy |  |
| 2. Nobody’s Fool by Cinderella | |
| 3. Round & Round by Ratt | |
| 4. Talk Dirty To Me by Poison | |
| 5. Wasted Years by Iron Maiden | |
| 6. Beautiful Girls by Van Halen | |
| 7. Wild Side by Mötley Crüe | |
| 8. Huckleberry Crumble by Stone Temple Pilots | |
| 9. Stone In Love by Journey | |
| 10. Body Talk by Ratt | |
| 11. Night Train by Guns N’ Roses | |
| 12. Strutter by Kiss | |
| 13. On The Loose by SAGA | |
| 14. Rock Candy by Montrose | |
| 15. You Can’t Kill Rock And Roll by Ozzy Osbourne | |
| 16. Song & Emotion by Tesla | |
military marriage scamon air makeupreporter confrontationMemorial Day through kidsmarriage and in lawsUrban Survivor parodyunrecognized pregnancyairline responsibilitypet taxidermyaddiction and recoveryradiocomedy
Sienna reported Bobby Ann Finley's alleged scheme of marrying and draining deployed servicemen, while the crew also replayed Mark Slavin's escalating physical confrontation with a KGO reporter. The show's comic center included Sienna's confused preschoolers explaining Memorial Day, Mikey turning Hometown Buffet into an 'Urban Survivor' ordeal, and Woodsy defending his plan to have Penny Bell taxidermied. The hosts argued that spouses need boundaries and compromise over in-law time, that an airline still had a duty to remove sleeping passenger Ginger McGuire safely, and that reaching eight months of pregnancy unknowingly was difficult but not impossible. Mikey ended on a serious note, naming hurt, sadness, and fear beneath his anger and explaining how faith helped him survive addiction, depression, and suicidal despair.
What happened, in order
The military marriage scam
Sienna describes how Bobby Ann Finley allegedly rushed servicemen into marriage, emptied their accounts during deployment, and may have accumulated dozens of husbands under multiple identities.
Mikey gets on-air concealer
Mikey admits raiding his wife's makeup to hide a neck scar, then lets Sienna apply concealer while Woodsy mercilessly mocks him.
Do not touch me
The crew dissects audio of Laguna Honda spokesman Mark Slavin repeatedly touching a KGO reporter who keeps warning him to stop while investigating alleged misuse of a patient gift fund.
Kids explain Memorial Day
Sienna's preschool interviews turn into comic chaos as the children confuse Memorial Day with Christmas, princess dresses, the alphabet, and simply 'Happy Monday.'
Every weekend with the in-laws
A listener asks how to escape constant weekends with his wife's family, prompting an argument over marital compromise, honest boundaries, and the support an extended family provides.
Urban Survivor at Hometown Buffet
Mikey parodies Bear Grylls by treating a fully stocked Hometown Buffet as a perilous expedition and presenting ketchup on fries as a life-changing survival discovery.
Eight months pregnant and unaware
Sienna says a high-school friend did not discover her pregnancy until eight months, setting off a skeptical debate about missed symptoms, fetal movement, and similar callers' stories.
Asleep on an empty plane
The hosts debate Ginger McGuire's lawsuit after she slept through landing and remained on a United Express plane for four hours, with Mikey blaming her and Sienna insisting the crew could not simply leave her.
Stuffing Penny Bell
Woodsy says he and Jamie plan to preserve their beloved Yorkie Penny Bell through taxidermy after she dies, horrifying the crew while he defends the dog as their child.
The crime-fighting nun
Sister Lynn, a Pittsburgh school principal, confronts a wallet thief with the same command she uses on children and calmly gets him to return the stolen property and apologize.
Anger, addiction and a way through
Mikey closes with a personal testimony linking anger to hurt, sadness, and fear, recounting alcoholism and suicidal hopelessness before describing faith as a light through continuing dark days.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsySiennaJayLaurenBobby Ann FinleyShad BowersMark SlavinGinger McGuireJamieSister Lynn
41,978 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
KBZT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Mikey Show on a Friday with a live studio audience. Very nice. Welcome to the program, everybody. It's The Mikey Show, and a lot of us will have a nice long three-day weekend. It is Memorial Day on Monday. And Monday is also my birthday and Woodsy and Sienna and Jay and Lauren, she's not here today, but we're all really cool and had some listeners come in here today. There's a lot of listeners in here today. Full house. Yeah. M1s that are friends and it's just so cool, man. There's a lot of very familiar faces here today, which is awesome. And so what are you giggling about, Woodsy? Well, you know who handles this part of our show is your boy. Yeah, you.
Yeah, and I think I overshot just a little bit. No, it's actually, it's not as bad as you thought it was made. Woodsy was afraid that people wouldn't be able to sit and all that, and it's fine. Everybody looks really comfortable, too. Yeah, I don't think we could fit one more chair, though, Mike. No, but it's perfect. It's actually perfect. Like, it worked out perfectly. But Woodsy, I told him before the show started, I go, dude, Obama's dealing with the BP thing right now, and he'd be like, I think you need to calm down. Like, as bad as it is for Obama, he'd be comforting you how worried you were. Like, you were pretty freaked out. But it's perfect. There's no issues with it. He was afraid that people would be, like, sitting Indian-style underneath the— Under my lab. Yeah, in your lab. Under the board, whatever. But it actually worked out okay. Did you see him doing the Irish folk dance behind the stand? Yeah. He just had to dance his way out of trouble. Dance my way out of trouble. Yeah. No, it worked out good. It's perfect. 570-1949 is the number. And if you want to give us a call, please do. And you can also text. The way that you text us is just by typing in 949Mikey at gmail.com. Five members of the Mikey Show. Myself, I'm the host of the program. I'm still in my 30s. Definitely in my late 30s now. Way late. No mistaking it. No mistaking it at all. Hours away. Yeah, pretty much. Turned 40 on Monday. Woodsy, do you know the story of...
Do you know the story of Guam Day? Uh-huh. Your wife told me. Yeah. Yeah. You were born on Guam Day? No, no, no. I was born in Guam. In Guam. I was born in Guam because my dad was in the military. Weird. Mm-hmm. And up until I was 13, my parents thought I was born on the 30th. That explains a lot. It does, right? It does. How did they mess that up? They thought it. And then my mom found my birth certificate. She's like, oops. Yeah, oops. Oopsie daisy. How do you tell your child? How old are you when you found out? 13. 13. I was turning 13. So did they sit you down and they're like, look, Miguel. Miguel. Miguel. We made a little bit of a mistake. Yes. They said, we have hired mariachis to be here today. To try to cheer you up. To try to cheer you up. Because they knew mariachis would cheer me up. Of course. Why wouldn't they? Of course.
But anyway, OK, so we got so much stuff to talk about. You can weigh in on it. First of all, I want to know what the latest is with BP. And yesterday they were going to try to plug the hole up by spraying concrete. They took an 18-hour break yesterday. Did you know that? They took an 18-hour break? Yeah. There's only 24 hours in a day. So great. Six hours of work. Hang it up, guys. These guys work at the DMV? Yeah. Well, as I've said before, they're doing the top kill technique, which is they're pumping mud into the hole to try to plug it up. Well, yesterday they had to take an 18-hour break to just kind of check out the results so far, bring in some more material, see how it's going. So as you can imagine, they're not done yet. Yeah. guessing by late today or over the weekend, they'll know if the procedure has stopped the oil. Well, it's been a month and a half, so what's another 24 hours of waiting? You guys kick back, put your feet up, make it right for yourselves. They started with this top kill technique on Wednesday. Oh, wow. So hopefully when we come back on Tuesday, it'll be plugged up. Well, no. Yeah. I mean, I saw this morning that they have officially, it's gone from being
A moderate spill to a environmental catastrophe is what is being called now. Yeah. Oh, it's nuts. OK. And I've told you this before. BP estimated that there was about two hundred and ten thousand gallons a day being pumped out of oil. Well, some government scientists went in there. They did some calculating on their own. There's between 504,000 to more than a million gallons a day being pumped out. A little more than BP estimated. For sure. It's just nuts. President Obama held a news conference yesterday, too. You want to know what he said? What? My job right now. You should read it. Let Mikey read it. Let me see. It's highlighted right there. He said, you know, this is my job right now is just to make sure everybody in the Gulf understands. That this is what I wake up to in the morning. And this is what I go to bed at night thinking about. The spell. Thanks, Obama. Thanks, Barack. I'm so glad you are concerned. There it is. What is L.O.B.? What do you think about this? That's a really good take. I never thought about it like that. But the way that you put that makes a lot of sense for me.
She's at home in Jersey. Have you texted her yet, Woods? Not this morning. She's asleep. She probably went to the shore last night a little. You know she was wiling out. She kept telling us, I'm going to be wiling out. I wonder if she's listening. I wonder if she's making out with an Italian guy. Probably. You know what? She needs to call in today. Yeah. Because if I... was gone, I'd be calling in every 15 minutes. Jay, what are we doing now? I was gone one day and I heard you guys for like a minute and I wanted to cry and I turned it off. I was like, this is too hard. It's too much. I know. I don't even want to think about maternity leave. Why don't you text her and tell her that you're just here in the trenches taking grenades? Yeah, we're here in the trenches taking grenades. Hope you're enjoying yourself at the Jersey Shore. Tell her you're just being dynamic. You're just sitting here being dynamic. Just putting bread on the table. That's awesome. Bringing home the bacon. Let's see. So that was a that's a deal with the BP. They're trying. We don't know. We'll know more today. What about the here's a big story. The woman in San Diego that was scamming military men and how she was doing it. What was she doing? This is nuts. OK, this woman, Bobby Ann Finley. Right now, there's a nationwide search for her.
Because she's accused of marrying and then scamming military servicemen. We know that she's married at least 11 men. Oh, wow. But she's scammed more than 40. Here's what she does. She finds usually young military men, marries them right away. She usually goes like after a few weeks. Let's get married. Yeah. They're like, oh, OK, because, you know, they can get some more money being in the military once they're married. And she gets them. They fall in love quickly. Yeah. And they're like, OK, cool. Yeah, I'm in. They do it. Once they go to deployment, once they're deployed, she runs through all their money, credit cards, bank accounts, gone and then disappears. Wow. And they don't even know where she is. No. When they get back, they don't even know how to get a hold of her. They don't know anything. She's just totally different. This woman has nine different social security numbers that we know of. Is there pictures of her online? Yeah. Oh, yeah. She's everywhere. Bobby and Finley. She's on the news all over this morning. You want to see a picture of her? Yes, I do. What do you imagine her to look like? Hot. I mean. I beg to differ. Sorry.
Oh, wow. I'm just giving a shout out to the police. If you're looking for her, maybe check the hometown buffet area. All right. I get what you're saying. I understand. You got a good shot of finding her. I bet she can tell me where there's some yum yum donuts. 100% she could. It looks like this picture is taken on the beach and that she's wearing like a wedding dress. It almost looks like this is a wedding. A wedding photo. Yeah. But she couldn't look more angry. Oh, no. You know what I mean? Dark lip liner on. Yeah. You know, it's like, oh, wow. She looks mad. Yes. Well, one of the mothers of the former grooms said that she's found evidence of 27 marriages, possibly as many as 39. She also believes that this woman has kids. And she thinks that one of the kids is her granddaughter. And they don't know anything. This woman's just on the loose, running around, marrying guys, scamming them for money. The scammer, they believe that one of... Wait a minute. The mother thinks that one of the kids is the grandchild? Yeah, one of the men that this woman, Bobby, married. Uh-huh.
His mother says that she's found evidence of 27 marriages. And she thinks there's possibly as many as 39 marriages. Oh. And just more evidence of scamming. She thinks that this woman has nine children. Wow. And thinks that one of them may be her granddaughter. But they don't know. They don't even know. Yeah. Another one of the grooms said that. Basically, this girl told her this guy is living in Santee. He's a former sailor, Shad Bowers. He said that she was like, oh, why don't we get married after only a few weeks? And he was like, OK, why not? I would get more money from the military. So we did it. Right. And when he got back from deployment, his car had like. thousands and thousands more miles on it and just money gone. Weird. Yeah. So it's like he's really married then. I know, basically, yeah. His money's gone, his car's busted. Sounds about right. Yeah. Right? Yeah, Todd may agree with that one. That's funny. I'm like, so what's the story? I'm waiting for the story, Sienna. I mean, obviously, if that's true, if this mother, you know, of one of the grooms thinks she has 39 marriages. She's brutal. Nine kids that a lot of the people.
don't even know about when they meet her yeah well and here's my deal too is like what really scares me about it is that these dudes were able because you would think that with a woman like that in order for her to be able to do that kind of stuff that she would have to be pretty right she would have to be in order to pull that off you gotta be a little bit on the kooky side. Yeah, totally kooky. And so what's really a trip about it is that all these guys didn't really get the level of kookiness. Maybe they suspected a little kookiness. Some girls are real good at playing the game in the beginning. Yeah. Really good. And so maybe the guy was like, hey, listen, scale of one to ten, she's like a five in kookiness. cool with that, when clearly she's more like a 9. Yeah. She's like a 12. Yeah, maybe a 12. I was being concerned. You can deal with a higher kookiness if her overall number is more. If she's 9, you can deal with an 8 kooky. Sure. But she's a...
Good solid three. Three and a half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's rating her beauty level. Yeah, I'm rating her beauty level. Her cookiness better be in the negatives. Right? Right? The whole, like, she better be the whole package. What I want to know is how do you get nine different social security numbers? It's hard enough to remember one. I know. First of all. How do you do that? I don't know. You have to have an in somehow. People have huge cojones, man. I couldn't imagine walking in the social security. I was going to be like, hi, I'm. bill franks and i'm here to get a new social security meanwhile meanwhile as you're looking around doing that you see dudes with badges guns did i ever tell you there's a story my friend one of my best friends in the world decided that he was going to take his brother's birth certificate into the texas dmv because his brother was older and get a fake get His name, his picture with his brother's info so he could be 21. You're kidding. Oh, I've heard of crazier. So he walks into the DMV in Texas. Texas State Troopers standing everywhere. Walks right up. Hey, how you doing? Yeah, I lost my stuff. Here's my birth certificate. My name is so-and-so. Gives it to him. They give him the paperwork back. He walks away and they go, excuse me, Mr. Fytel. Mr. Fytel. Mr. Fytel. And he's like, I was just making it for the door. Cop steps in front of him and goes.
Hold on, sir. They're looking for you. She's like, you forgot your birth certificate. Got away with it. Got away with it. Oh, my. Insane. I used to work with a girl who actually burned her fingers on a curling iron on purpose. So, yeah, that's what she did. What? To get a fake ID. Well, it was a real ID, but to say that she was 21. Hey, sweetheart. have your dad buy you a beer. Like, you know what I mean? She knew that they were going to get her fingerprints. And so she burned her fingertips on purpose so that nothing would show up. Creepy. Creepy. But she told me that. I was like, you are hardcore. She really wanted a cocktail. Yeah. She really wanted a cocktail. You're like, are you addicted to dancing? Seriously. Like, do you need to go to a disco? So bad. Like, my goodness. My goodness. Hey, I tell you what. I'll come to your house with a whistle around my neck dressed as a referee. If that's what you need. 100%. If it's that bad. Yes, Jay. I will. That is nuts.
Nuts. And a whistle. Yeah. I've never heard of somebody being that hardcore about getting a fake ID. But then again, this morning, speaking of crazy, let me tell you what I did. I still have that little scar from where I had the gigantic zit that had its own zip code on my neck. I remember. I remember. I went over to his house. I tried to help him pop it. Yeah. Couldn't get it done. Really? Did you guys get a video of that? Couldn't do it. And so it turned into a scar because, you know, and so I'm walking out of our closet this morning and see my wife's makeup bag. Mike. Really, dude? Really? I have some cover up if you want me to try. It was open, Woods. I don't care. I know. It said MAC on it. I don't care if it was sitting on top of your car. I know it. With try this. Use this. It'll work, right? With a $100 bill. Yeah, with a $100 bill, it says use this. It will work. I'm a guy, right? There's no way. Forget it. It says MAC on it. Just keep walking. Work, bro. Go make it right. I'm like, let's see if we've got anything in here that'll cover this thing up. Found a brush right on top. Looked like it had natural color makeup on it. Let me see.
You can still see it though, right? Yeah. You need a girl's skill to do it. What can you do for me? I can try. What do you have? What you normally do is you get a little cover-up like foundation, the liquid, pat it on there real quick with a little blotting pad. Then you get like some powder and you blend it nicely. Really? I'll have this conversation on the air. Woods, talk to me. I need you to have an open mind. I need you to take your pants off right now. I need to check for something. Seriously. Have an open mind. Pretend that I roofied you. And you're like, what, Mike? And I'm like, let me ask her a couple of courses. Don't worry. Just tell me this. Pretend I asked Rebecca to get me something from a makeup store that daily I could cover this with. On a scale of 1 to 10, how weird is that? Here's the deal.
thing like you can it men or women can use it and you like put it over your zit and it's not really cover up it's also medicine that's also that's even okay that's all right that you dove into the mac with the brush and the whole thing wait wait wait uber gay oh it wasn't a it wasn't a brush per se it was a a tiny brush it was like a wand no it was like a what am i trying to do you probably just ruined one of her really good brushes did i just yeah that's no i dabbed i dabbed Mike, okay. Don't put makeup on, dude. We're not on TV. You don't even have a zit on your neck anymore. I have a scar. But whatever. Scars are tough. Scars are souvenirs. You never lose. You know, like, be like, yeah, look at my scar. Yeah, this is not like a four-inch scar that I got in the NOM. This is... A zit scar. You wouldn't know that. You would think maybe it's a shaving scar from when you shaved. It's pretty unsightly, though. No, it's not. I'm done. My day left my body. My day left my body. Okay, well, maybe this will make you feel better. I go maybe every week I see about three guys that I could tell have makeup on. Really? That's a true fact.
She's in Hillcrest, though. Yeah. Yeah. She works at the Luxor. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that, Michael. Yeah, the blue man group. By makeup, I don't mean, like, lipstick and eyeliner. I mean the cover-up. Because that's, you know, and that's, I swear, that's, like, one of the only perks that girls have is that we get to do that. 100%. And cover it up. Do you have your purse right now? I do. Go ahead. Really? Yeah, I want to see what she's got for me. What? You would. No? No. Are you sure? If I was getting married, yeah, I'd probably cover up something. I don't like looking at it. I don't like going to the bathroom and going peeps and then looking in the mirror afterwards and going, oh, I hate that dot on my neck. That's what you're focused on? Yes, I'm vanity. You're vanity? I'm vanity. I'm vanity. Well, my cover-up may be a little too light for your skin. We're not putting cover-up on you. What do you got? No, you come do it. Come around. Really? Okay. I'm leaving. I'm quitting. Well, wait. When you put this, this is liquid. Yeah. So what do you do after you put... What did you put on? I don't know. It was like a... Blush? I don't know, man. Okay. But what do you do after you put that on there? You just love it? I'm doing it. Just let it happen. Let it happen. Would you tell me how this looks when she's done? I'm blotting. Really? You look like Freddie Mercury right now. Okay, dude. All right? That's how you look. Okay? Wait. Give it a chance. Hey, Woods. Woods, what if nobody knows? I know.
And everybody knows now. How will people know? Look at you. What a diva. I'm getting my makeup applied. Yeah, you look like Aretha Franklin. If this works. Hey, it looks pretty good. Hey, how great is that? It looks pretty good. You can't even see it. Right? You can't see it. Woods, come on. Your neck's all white, though. It is? Yeah. Yeah, I look like a white girl. You're like, yeah, it looks great, except you look like a white girl. Yeah, you look great for Christina Aguilera. It looks pretty good. That's great. I can't see it. That's fantastic. You're not going to find any imperfections on this face. It really did work. It did. It worked. No, she's laughing. Something badass. No, I'm laughing because it worked. It worked, right? It worked. Oh, well. Woods, if you had a little red dot on your neck, you'd be like, oh, that's the worst. What is that? Yeah, you and Liberace would think that. I won't. All right?
Here, Mike, just in case you want to go pick that up, it was Clinique Moderately Fair Foundation. Actually, it's a cover-up stick. Really? Clinique Moderately Fair, like my skin. I'm a queen. Yeah, you're a giant queen. I'm a giant queen. Well, just as long as you know that. Unbelievable. I'm your friend. I could do you next time. I'm your friend. What are you going to do with that? How are you going to deal with that on your drive home today? I'm glad I'm getting out of town today. Yeah, you're going to go, a good friend of mine put makeup on this morning. Yeah, on the air. How come a company like, you know, Tenactin doesn't make makeup? You know what I mean? Like Rawlings baseball club. Yeah, how come Rawlings? Cover up for men. Yeah. All right, Rawlings, man, it's fine. Stetson. Hey, for those of you that slide into home plate and have a little scar. that you want to cover up. Rawlings male putty. That's what it should be called. Rawlings male putty. If it's got Rawlings on it, it's good. You're fine. You have a tampon with Rawlings on it, you're okay. When I woke up this morning, I did not think, hey, you're going to be putting makeup on Mike. You did it? There's not even a little part of it? I kind of had an inkling. For some reason.
Oh, my gosh. Right now, my wife has her eyes closed. She's shaking her head, and she's just saying, why? Why? Why? Why? Why on the radio? Like, why do it on the radio? Why not have a private moment with Sienna? Off the air. Off the air when people aren't in the studio, not on the air. It's like 20 people in here. Oh, my gosh. Taking pictures. Why, Woods? Why do I do it? You're a queen, dude. I'm a queen. Your wife right now is going to her makeup bag and checking to make sure you didn't ruin her makeup. Yeah, make sure you have your pockets full of Mac. Kid is hot tonight. You know that. Woods got to pick music for Lauren because Lauren's out today. And so Woods is doing a little Loverboy, Kid's Hot Tonight. I love it. Hey, listen. Tiger Woods may be one of the richest dudes in the world. There's no doubt about it. It may be one of the richest dudes in the world. And you've heard about high-profile divorces in the news before. When I tell you how much Elan Woods is asking for, it doesn't matter how cynical you are. It doesn't matter. You're going to go, whoa. It doesn't matter what you thought. This will blow you away. We'll do it next.
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Woods. I remember my first French kiss. Lauren. If there's a movie with Meg Ryan in it, I'm like, I'm out. Ziena. Put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jay. Please grow up. On FM 94.9. It's hysterical. I love it. I do too. Woodsy is going full metal today. 100. Yeah, full metal. In honor of my trip to the Sunset Strip this evening. West Hollywood. Little Cinderella. Oh my goodness. Picture these guys with their full makeup on. Purple suits. Glaring at the camera. Yeah, glaring at the camera with mascara. Yeah. You remember this? Oh, yeah. Sienna, remember this? Sienna does not remember this. Definitely not. Let's see. Sienna, what year were you born? 85. This is right in the heyday of this. Yeah. This may have come out the year you were born. Maybe I listened to it in the hospital. I don't know. Maybe. May it come out the year you were born. Let him hit it one time, Mike.
Nobody sounds like that anymore. I know it. It'll come back, though. It's back. What are you talking about? Is it? They're doing this. Are they doing that type of metal again? Yes. Really? Rat has a new album out, and it's killer. It sounds like Rat. No, what I mean, though, is do you think that relevant young bands that are, you know how everything's, you know, they. Cyclical. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that'll happen? Hair metal. 21-year-old dudes are doing bands with long hair and they're not singing about anything deep. They're just singing about whiskey and that kind of deal. Will that happen? I sure hope so. I absolutely... It all comes back. It's just a big circle. Yeah. Okay, so as much money as Tiger Woods has, this will still really surprise you. Let's do some Woods on Sports. I saved that Tiger Woods story for last because I want to talk about it. All right. Because it's going to blow you away. But the Lakers had an unlikely hero last night in their 103-101 win over the Suns. They had the game-winning shot all set up for Kobe, but he shot an air ball. So Ron Artest caught it and laid it in for the win. Here's creepy Marv Albert with the call. Cut one. No. Cut one I have is Hairston. Really? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Jay, can we refresh, pal? You got to teach me how to do that. He's already in here. You know that. Yeah. MacGyver's the rescue. Let's do it, MacGyver.
This system makes me nuts. It makes me nuts. What, did Mike just sit back and watch Jay like, wow, how do you do that? Okay, we're going to reset. Here's creepy Marv Albert with the game call. He almost blew the game for the Lakers. So, Artest had really gotten under this coach's skin earlier. He shot when he wasn't supposed to. He was supposed to kind of dribble out the clock. Phil Jackson almost benched him. Almost benched him. I could have sworn he said, get out of my face. Oh, he did. He did. Was it one of those selfish, I'm going to take this shot kind of deals? Yeah, he did two in a row. In a row. And he just bricks, right? And then, well, good thing Phil Jackson kind of knows what he's doing. Here's our test on the game winner. Cut two. I seen the shot. He got fouled. I knew it was going to be able, so I just went after it. They played hard tonight. It was aggressive. They was hitting us, but it had to be a point in time where I used my body, and it worked for me, and it worked for me right there.
Yeah, so 3-2 lead for the Lakers. Yeah, 3-2. 3-2. My husband was very happy last night. Yeah, I bet. Which is really, this morning in Arizona, got to be a heartbreak because... It looked like the Suns were going to win that game. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. And then Artest does that right at the buzzer. The Lakers blew, I think, an 18-point lead in the fourth, maybe. Oh, they started falling apart. It was third and a third. Really? I mean, and I'm not really that big of a basketball fan, but I was like, oh, my God! Come on! Come on! You know? What time did, you know, because I know your husband loves the Lakers and he's wild. What time do these games... because I'm going to watch one. Are you? I am. Six usually, around there, 6, 630. 6, 630? That's bedtime. I know it. Is this like me saying, Woods, we...
You've got to go out to the driving range. Hit some balls. You know what you should do this weekend? Probably hit some balls this weekend. There's got to be a game on the weekend, right? In the finals, yeah. I'm sure there will be. I don't know, but I'm sure there will be. Yeah, there will. But in the finals, they're so good. And Jack, they kept showing Jack Nicholson on the sideline. Did they? He was so mad. Screaming. Because they were falling apart. He's the best. That's awesome. I got to see that. The Padres fell back to earth just a little bit last night. The Cardinals beat them 8-3, but they can take solace in the fact, and yes, I just said solace, that they took 2-3 from the Cardinals. Earning St. Louis manager Tony La Russa's respect. He said, quote, very impressive. They're legitimate. Tony La Russa says so. I believe it. Attendance is still an issue. However, the three-game set only attracted about 58,000 fans, which is less than half of Petco's capacity. They're drawing less than the Kansas City Royals right now. What is going on? Which is really sorry. Because the Royals are god-awful. It won't be. It won't be. I don't think it will be long before people start to do what I'm doing, which is maybe she really isn't going to cheat on me this time. And I really am there. I'm really at that point where I'm like... Have things changed? Have things changed with her? We'll see. We'll see. With a record of 28-19, we have the same record as the Yankees, pal. Are you kidding me? I'm not kidding.
We got the same record as the Yankees, Sienna. I know, but I can't change my stance. Really? Because it's working. Really? You're going to just stay with your stance? I'm going to sit back a little bit, see how it goes. Well, there's a couple big stories in the NFL we'll get to quickly. Roger Goodell has let Big Ben and the Steelers know it's okay for Big Ben to come back to team activities. I guess some doctors examined him. You know, they did their whole... counseling bid and said he's fine. So he is still suspended the first six games of the year, but that can be reduced to four with good behavior. So we'll see what happens there. Also, the Raiders have asked Jamarcus Russell for $10 million back. Wait, really? They asked him. They said, listen. What did Al call him? Yeah, they said, listen, dude, you owe us $10 million. Really? You're that bad. Yeah, you also owe us 19 touchdowns. Yeah, seriously. And so his agent, Eric Metz, said, quote, the money in question was fully guaranteed. That's why Jamarcus was forced to hold out and miss all of training camp as a rookie. The Raiders know that, and that is our only comment. In quote. Woodsy, let me tell you, Al Davis, when he fired his last coach, don't even remember who it was. When he fired his last coach, one of the big fights between. Kiffin, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lane. Lane Kiffin.
who at the time was the youngest coach in the NFL. When he fired Lane, he did a PowerPoint presentation to let the media know how much he hated Lane. Seriously, this is a true story. He held a PowerPoint. Wow. Where he had a little marker and he was like showing these weird emails between the two of them fighting. And he's like going. It looked like he lost his mind trying to justify why he fired him. Yes. But it looked like he'd lost his mind. He has a long time ago because he's holding a press conference to tell everybody like why he hates Lane. But anyway, one of the deals was that Lane didn't believe in Jamarcus Russell. And he knew that Jamarcus Russell was a good football player. The worst. Biggest bust in NFL history. Based on the times, the money that he was paid, the guaranteed money he was given, no question. Biggest bust. He's got to be. He must. Al Davis must hate that this happened. $10 million. It's so embarrassing. Here's the deal. Should he give the money back? Yeah, based on your performance, you probably should, but he doesn't have to.
It's guaranteed money. It's contractually his. Contractually his, yeah. You know? So I'm really interested to see how this story shakes out. I mean, do you think anyone would ever be like, you know, you're right. You're right. Here's the $10. You're right. I suck. Yeah, right. The money's long gone. I promise you, dude. We haven't talked about it. Really, we haven't talked a lot about it on the show yet, but I think we had our fill of Tiger Woods for a while. But Ellen Nordgren Woods has filed for divorce from Tiger. She's asking for... Probably the most ridiculous amount of money that you can ever imagine. How much? How much? How much? Oh, just a quarter of a billion dollars. $750 million and full custody of their children. Okay, if she's asking that much, think of how much money he must have. No doubt. Oh, yeah. And she knows. Oh, wow. That's an awful... $750. Oh. Wow, that's a lot of money. You guys have never asked for that much divorce before? I was thinking about doing that. $750 million. That's ridiculous. What if she gets it? What are you going to leave the guy with the nickel? Well, the weird thing about it is, is that it's like if she, let's say that they award her that, it's like going down to Quickie Mart, putting a dollar on the table and saying, I'll take the quick pick. Yeah, and winning. And then winning.
Because that's a lottery. In fact, it's more. It's way more. That is so much money. Yeah, like a big lottery, $250 million. If you won a $250 million lottery, people would be like, whoa, that's a big lottery. If you won $750 million, it would be big, gigantic news because people would go, wow. The first three quarter of a billion dollar lottery was just one. I could buy the frigging Padres. Twice. Yeah. You know what I mean? Seriously. Crazy money. I could. I'd be like, all right, I'll take the Padres. Maybe that's about half of what he has. Does she deserve that? Yeah. Does she deserve that much money? Maybe. Hell no. If he has it. $7.50? He's like, why? Why did I do this to myself? Why did I get myself in this situation? I know. Maybe he's a billionaire. He obviously is a billionaire. You know, like, why can't she get a big chunk of what he has? Maybe that's not even half. Maybe I'd give her $100 million. How about that for doing nothing? Nothing. You had my kids. $50 million a piece. There you go. No, I agree with you guys. It's ridiculous. But, you know, she is facing the public every day. You know, people are following her kids around. Do you guys think that this is a ploy and it's one of these ploys? Her attorney goes, I can get you $450 million.
The way that we do it is we ask for $750 million. And then he settles for $450 million. And he feels like he got a deal. Yeah, he feels like he got a deal. I guarantee that's what he's doing. And she's like... Half a bill. Right. She's like, $450 million. You know? He's like, yeah, I can get you that. All we do is ask for $750. I'm like... He's just like... Really? This is what sleeping with these women, it's going to cost me a quarter of a billion dollars? What would you do if someone handed you that check other than have a heart attack? See, here's the deal. Like, I have a really, really public stance on saying that it makes me crazy when a divorce happens and somebody is taking somebody for millions of dollars. I don't care if it's alimony or if it's, what do they call it? Palimony? Palimony. I don't care which way it is. This may be the only exception for me is when it's like adultery. And a lot of it. If it's adultery, I'm kind of like, well, you did it, dude. You messed up and he messed up bad. Yeah, he screwed up bad. And you know what, though? Give her what she's worth. Give her what she, you know, give her, make it fair. You've got kids with her. Don't make her life difficult. But dude.
$750 is a woman scorned. That is a woman scorned. Well, of course she's scorned. And think about the things he said, though, because all he really keeps saying is, you know, like, he's so sorry to Elin, and he wants to work on everything with Elin, and Elin's so great. She's been nothing but handled the situation perfectly. Maybe he'll give it to her. Maybe he thinks if that's what she wants, I'll give it to her. Part of the thing I read in the story was that they have a lifetime confidentiality agreement. Lifetime. So she can never say a word about the inner deals. She almost doesn't have to. Doesn't have to. It speaks for itself. Yeah. She can get her money and go, see ya. I'm moving back to Sweden or wherever. Well, she'll buy the country. Yeah, she will. She'll buy Europe. Buy Sweden and Europe. Moving in a nice castle. It's great. Not Germany though, Michael. My goodness. There's probably going to be a settlement. We'll never know the amount because it'll be confidential. But it'll be a settlement from $750 million. Can you imagine? Yeah. Man, would I go shopping? Man, would I marry Tiger? Yeah, I'd marry Tiger for $750. Easy. Tiger Woods must make a lot of money. Oh. I think so. But, like, that's insane. That's insane money. Did you guys hear about Justin Bieber walking into a glass door? Weird. Again? For the second time in a week.
We all know who Justin Bieber is, right? I know he's a white kid that they found on YouTube. One time is the hit. He has a lot of hits out right now. Yes. Usher's label signed Justin Bieber. 16 years old. They found him on YouTube. And now girls just go nuts over this kid. And I don't get it. He's the skinniest little white boy. He looks like one of them. He sings real good, though. Yeah, he sings really good. But yeah, for the second time in a week, he was caught on camera walking into a glass door the first time. He was going through a revolving door, walked right into it. Those aren't invisible. Only LLB does that, dude. That's the only person that does that. But revolving doors, you know they're there. It's not like a wall. Maybe I don't know how to spell Bieber. I'm not going to try. Well, the second time, he did catch himself. He walked into it, but he held his hand up over his face and quickly braced himself. That's him walking into it. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. For a minute, I thought that was part of the song. It is. I was like, that's not bad. That's not bad. Maybe I'd just have Woods come over to the house and go, oh, oh, oh, oh. Everyone's initial reaction when they hear that is, that's a guy? Yeah. How do you like in, how do you like in 2034 at the Mirage when you hear,
Welcome to the Mirage. I'm Justin Bieber. I'd just like to thank everyone for coming here tonight. He's holding his guitar. There's 57-year-old women that used to be hiding. Take it off. Take it off, Justin. Girls love him. They just love him. I'm just making time for you. Like. Making time for you. He has pushed the Twilight guys off the side. Oh, I know. They're off the radar. Zac Efron. Who's that? Don't talk about him anymore. Really? No boy bands. It's Justin Bieber. Flash in the pan. I know. Flash in the pan. That's ridiculous. That's the latest thing right now is Justin Bieber. Let's see. Obama has not walked into any glass doors. It's a good thing. He's been dealing with the oil spill and making a lot of comments about the oil spill. Oh, also, the Bret Michaels deal, we're going to tell you, but Bret Michaels gave a press conference after he did his thing on American Idol. Go to bed. Yeah, I know. Maybe take a nap, bro. Take a nap. I don't think he slept like a wink since he's left the hospital. I know. And here. Okay, so I want to give you a second of...
Obama talking about what his daughter asked him. My job right now is just to make sure that everybody in the Gulf understands. This is what I wake up to in the morning, and this is what I go to bed at night thinking about. The spill. The reporter just goes, the spill? No, Kansas is what I'm really thinking about. Thinking about my kids. Thinking about Dallas and Cleveland. Filling out my brackets, genius. Thinking about the Lakers. Yeah, that's what I meant. The oil spill. He throws a piece of paper. The oil spill, moron. Wads up a piece of paper and throws it at him. And it's not just me, by the way. When I woke up this morning and I'm shaving and Malia knocks on my bathroom door and she peeks in her head and she said, Malia, your daughter? Yeah. Yeah. No, Malia. My mistress. Malia, my mistress, dum-dum. All right. Can somebody get Phil out of here?
Did you plug the hole yet, daddy? Did you plug the hole yet, daddy? Is what she said. That was the woods. Oh, man. That's... Oh, my gosh. Look at him. And you're being inappropriate. I mean, just your face. Look at him. He's holding his breath. He doesn't know how to deal with it. It looks like he's going to cry. He's looking at the ceiling. He's going to cry. He's counting. Do you think Obama thought for a second, that's... That's, yeah. Actually, I just did that before you came in the room, but... Thank you for knocking. Thanks for knocking. Mr. Obama, is this the hardest hole that you've had? And he just interrupts you with that. We need to spread that. I don't understand, Mr. Obama. It's a nationwide movement. Spread that. Yeah, Obama goes, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. What are we going to do here, guys? You're going to put it on a tee. I'm going to knock it out of the park, okay? I would do anything in the world to hear Obama say something like, Hey, you put it on a tee for me, I'm going to knock it out of the park. You can make a basketball reference. That's what she said. That's what she said. M1 Dino from Encinitas. Hey, brother. What's going on? Truly Obama's Katrina. Yeah, it is. How George Bush just flew over Katrina and gave a wave, you know? It's just, this is going to be the, it's the biggest freaking, you know, it's just Louisiana's...
Redheaded stepchild, you know? It's hard to live in Louisiana. It's rough over there right now. Katrina, the oil spill. It's just like, oh my gosh, that part of the world is brutal. Well, we're going to New Orleans in like a month and a half. Yeah. I can't wait to see what that place looks like that. Oh, dude. I mean, it's just... And, you know, when you leave the airport in New Orleans, you see the Gulf. Yep. And have you guys seen on TV where... They're in those little boats and they've got on the big yellow gloves and they're putting their hands in the water. Have you guys seen that? And they're pulling out the oil. And the oil is like maroon colored. It almost looks like they pull out a handful of seaweed. Yeah. But it's oil. It's this maroon colored oil. And it makes me think, well, how are we going to fix that? What can be done? Who knows? I mean, there are brilliant minds out there, but I wonder if they know how to do something about that. Like skimming it off the top or something? I mean, how do you do it? I guess. Let's ask Winder. He knows about pools. Johnny, call in if you're listening, bro. Yeah, Johnny, what do you do with that? Dude, I don't know about oil spills. Maybe we set it on fire and finish the job. Hey, you know, they thought about that. Yeah, I know.
They thought about that. It's so heartbreaking. They thought about lighting it on fire when it first started happening because they thought it would burn it off. But I don't think they can do that. I think it's too much. Well, you got to stop the oil from coming first and then maybe you burn it off. I don't know. What do I know? I'm an idiot. It's just the problem is that if they say, and when I say they, I mean those of them at they.com. They.com. Yeah. It's a great website. If you were to put an eyedrop of something into a swimming pool, it's going to affect it. Yeah. And so if you think of the entire world's oceans, isn't this the equivalent of an eyedrop? No? I mean, if you think of all of the ocean in the world, isn't this like an eyedrop? And doesn't that mean it's going to have an effect on everything? Yeah. Right? Yeah, I would say so. I mean, I think that years from now, they'll probably be able to detect this oil in Antarctica. Absolutely. You know what I mean? It's really gross.
570-1949 is our number. Yeah, Woodsy. Woodsy put together a real, real nice mix of pure metal today. Real sweetly. Hair toss. I love the hair toss. Okay, so did you, Woodsy, have you heard about the reporter from KGO TV in San Francisco? Dude, I heard about it. Somebody posted, I think Craig. posted on his page last night and I went to watch it and my internet was so bad it wouldn't come up. Have any of you heard about or seen the KGO reporter from San Francisco? He's a reporter from San Francisco. He goes into a hospital. They're having a town hall meeting at a hospital and he goes in there and the PR person from the hospital comes out to stop him. Now this is one of those situations where the PR person
you can just tell is like, I've got this under control. But you can also tell that this particular thing is above their level of expertise and their heart is pounding like a little bunny rabbit. And like I say, we're all just seven-year-olds inside. And both of them turn into seven-year-olds. And it turns into a game of... Maybe five-year-olds. Yeah, five-year-olds. Don't touch me. Stop touching me. Don't be touching me. Don't touch me. Yeah. The audio's fantastic. The video's better. And we'll play it for you next. To the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. If you need any more reasons to get out and make the most of this time of year, your Jeep dealer has five great ways to get you into it. Feel the freedom of a legendary Jeep Wrangler Rubicon named 4x4 of the decade by the editors of Four Wheeler Magazine. Or get into a capable Grand Cherokee 4x4, a Liberty Limited with the available industry-exclusive skyslider roof, or a fuel-efficient Patriot or Compass Limited with up to 28 highway miles per gallon. Get into the Jeep vehicle you really want during the Jeep Spring Drive at your Jeep dealer. I live, I ride, I am Jeep. Get 0% APR financing plus up to $500 in Mopar accessories on Jeep Wrangler.
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So pop over to Henry's Farmer's Market to get your pop chips. Also, pop over to FM949SD.com for your chance to win an STA Travel No Regrets New Orleans Vacation, courtesy of Pop Chips and STA Travel. We are the members of Navy Federal. Some of us come from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and the Department of Defense. Some of us have families who do. As we serve our country, we also buy cars, finance homes, educate our children, and plan for retirement. During it all, Navy Federal is there. For over 75 years, they've been there. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. Navyfederal.org, Equal Housing Lender. This Memorial Day weekend, your San Diego County Ford dealer will give you an additional $1,000 bonus when you trade in any make, any model during Ford's San Diego Celathon. Choose from a huge selection of high-quality boards. Keep the rebate. Plus, get $1,000 more for total savings up to $7,000. Or choose zero APR for 60 months, and the $1,000 trade-in bonus is still yours to keep. You may never find a better time to take home a new Mustang, Fusion, Escape, Focus, or F-150. Only through June 1st and only at your San Diego County Ford dealer. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com.
Cash back on 2010 Super Duty Diesel and includes customer cash and trade-in bonus available on trades of 1995 or newer car, truck, or SUV. Not all purchases are eligible. Excludes Expedition Explorer, Econoline Sport Track, Mustang V6 Coupe, Edge SE, all-wheel drive, F-150 Raptor, GT500, Taurus SE, and 2011 models. Not all buyers qualify for Ford Credit Limited Term Financing. Take new retail delivery from dealer stock by 6-1-10. Make sure your low fares stay low to St. Louis with no bag fees from Southwest Airlines. Grab your bag. It's on nonstop from San Diego to St. Louis. Book your nonstop flights to St. Louis now at southwest.com. Weight and size limits apply. This report is brought to you by Chevy. Come visit the Chevy Spring Event where you can get great deals on award-winning cars, trucks, and crossovers, including Consumer's Digest Best Buys like Chevy Malibu, Silverado Half-Ten, and Traverse. On the 5 northbound ramp to Santa Fe Drive, a disabled car is over on that right shoulder. It's about 2 feet over the fog line, and apparently they're changing a tire. On the 15 southbound before Rainbow Valley Boulevard, we've got an accident. A car going the wrong way. It's on the right shoulder.
He's got three flat tires. Not a good way to start the day. Fire department is on the scene. They've also got a tow truck on the way. And the 76 eastbound at Valley Center Drive, an injury accident, a downed motorcycle, and they do have an ambulance on the scene. This report, it is brought to you by Caltrans and the Office of Traffic Safety. Speeding in highway work zones is deadly. That's why fines are now up to $1,000 or more, plus points on your driving record. Slow for the Cone Zone. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. You think Poison's selling any records right now on iTunes? Big time. Because of me, you mean? Yeah, because of you playing it right now. I never spoke Poison, Woodsy. I know you didn't, dude. At least you speak Miley Cyrus, so that's good. I do. I do. I'm not ashamed of it. All right, that's a lie. I'm a little ashamed of it. You should be. A little ashamed of it. You hired the wrong guy on your squad, dude. What are you talking about? I'm going to shame you for the rest of your life about it. I know, but I'll shame you about some of the stuff you like. Like? Ryan Adams. I don't get that either. That's Jeff Buckley. Oh, yeah, that one. That's Jeff Buckley. I don't understand it. Some of them I don't get. Some of them. You don't get my Miley Cyrus, and sometimes I don't get your, you know, gooey and the apple trees, you know. I'm doing these bands. I've never, you know, he'll be like, Mikey.
You telling me you've never heard of Sandalwood and the Carrot Tops? And I'm like, no. Like, Sandalwood and the Carrot Tops. I haven't heard of Sandalwood and the Carrot Tops. Really? You know? But... Maybe you just get. How about that? Hey, listen. Does that work? Hey, dude. I'm looking at your list. I like it. I know you do. You got some stuff on there today that's real good. Maybe you do some intros on some stuff later. Yeah. Maybe I give Michael Shannon to Tesla. How about I do that? I give the... I give the... K-Wave guy, too. Did you ever work at a... I mean, like, I know rock was, like, hardcore. Did you ever work at, like, a metal, like, hair metal back in those days? No, I wanted to. Did you? Yeah. You would have been great at that. I was a little too chubby for them to... Yeah. Do you have a voice in mind for that? You're on the radio, Mike. It doesn't matter if you're chubby or not. You would have had to change your name to, like, a one name, like... Yeah, TNT. Yeah, TNT. It's Sledge coming to you. It's always, like, Sludge or Sledge. Right. Sludge. It's Sludge coming to you live on 102.1. What's up? It's Sludge. We got another hardcore rock afternoon for you today. It's going to kick some butt. We're giving away tickets to Poison tonight. Sluts. First 425 naked girls to show up down here. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. It's show your cans for Poison tickets today. Now you're talking. Jay's like, I did that promotion. Oh, he did. Guaranteed. Cans for cans. Yeah. There you go. So.
Reporter, KGO Television, San Francisco. First of all, before we even hear the audio, what I want to know, Sienna, is why was the reporter... at this hospital in the first place. What was he reporting on? Well, a story came out that Laguna Honda Hospital in San Francisco, they were misusing a fund called the gift fund. It was designated for patient welfare by using a large part of the fund for catered meals, is what they said they were using it for, travel and other perks for the staff. That's awful. Awful, yeah. And so this reporter shows up and, you know, I want to know about the gift fund. Tell me about the gift fund. And the people working at the hospital were like, you know, basically get. Yeah, get. Yeah, they didn't want to talk about it. And as a, you know, if I were a citizen in San Francisco, I'd be like, I want to know about that. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. We know about that. So reporters down there trying to ask some questions and PR guy comes out. Mark Slavin. A few minutes into it.
Let's take a listen. Nice to meet you. I need to talk to you about the gift fund. Can we do that? Not right now. I'm sorry. I'm going to start my town hall meeting. After the meeting? We'll talk to our meeting coordinator. After the meeting? I'd like to speak to you, though. I'm the communications director. Don't touch me. Do not touch me. Hands on his shoulder. Yeah, so you know, he's putting the palm of his hand on the reporter's shoulder. Back of his shoulder. No, no, no. He's standing right in front of him, so he's putting it on his shoulder. Why would he do that? Like right above his heart. I guess. Yeah, you draw back a stump. Yeah, you draw back a stone. But I guess the reason that he's doing it is he's trying to hold the reporter back so that the reporter can't talk to the woman that he's trying to talk to. So he's doing the whole. But he's like portraying it in a way like, I'm your friend. I'm your buddy. It's okay. Right. We're close. This is making me tense. Do not touch me. Can I speak to you after the meeting? I have a meeting after the meeting, so I'm sorry. Do you? Really? Do you have a meeting after the meeting after the meeting? Yes, at Applebee's. Yeah. I have 17 meetings today. 17. Right. I just want to tell you. Can I speak? Can you touch your hand off me, please? I just want to welcome and touch. He doesn't remove his hand. That bit is weak. Yeah, I just want to tell you. Welcome you. Welcome to. I want to welcome you. Really, pal? Maybe you welcome me without your palm on my hand. On my chest.
The Honda. Do not touch me. If you touch me again, I'll call the police. Do not touch me. I just want to welcome you to Laguna. Get your hand off me. My name is Mark Slavin. Get your hand off me. My name is Mark Slavin. Why are you touching me? Really? Is this from, like, the handbook, Mark? Yeah, seriously. Is it from the handbook of how you're supposed to handle it? Because it's precisely how you don't handle it. It almost seemed to me, I watched a video earlier, like the reporter was being checked into rehab or something. And they were trying to calm him. You know, you have to be here. It's okay. Like he couldn't escape. Yeah, exactly. And the guy, you can tell that the PR guy is like, this is a calming technique that works. And you're watching it going, it doesn't work. It's not working. It's not working. Take your hand off of him, dude. Now, I also have to say. to the reporter that to the reporter it doesn't work to say don't put your hands on me again or i'll call the police unless you call the police what doesn't work is to continue to say don't do it and then not do anything about it that doesn't work again and again just to very gently say hello
Welcome to Laguna Hondo. We're happy to have you here. My name is Mark Slavin. Over and over again. Well, it's my job to talk to you. I don't like strangers touching me. I don't even know you. Well, my name is Mark Slavin. I'm the communications director. I'm just trying to introduce myself. You don't touch strangers, pal. Pal! Don't touch me again. I'm warning you to not touch me again. I'm here to talk to the director, and I'll talk to her after the meeting. Thank you. Okay. Okay. It's like Mr. Rogers. Okay. Is he painting pictures? Seriously. Like on PBS with a big white guy afro? Bob Ross. Yeah, Bob Ross. He's like, it's okay. I'll tell you what we're going to do. My name's Mark Slavin, and we're just going to... We're going to add some nice clouds behind your head. That's what we're going to do, okay? And then, because I'm the communications director, we're going to put in a tree here because it's our picture. We can put whatever we want. So we're going to add a tree. And you know what I think I want to do here? Because you're here, I just want to put just a touch of burnt sienna here. Just a touch. It's a great color. I'm going to put a little touch there. What do you think? It's the creepiest. Now, what happens is Mark Slavin, who you can tell is not okay himself as he's doing this. You can tell his heart's beating like a bunny rabbit. Mark Slavin finally loses it. The video shows him putting his hand over the camera and shoving the camera down, flipping out.
And the camera had every right to be there, right? Of course. Of course. The reporter had every right to be there. I like that the reporter gave him a pal. Hey, listen, you don't touch people you don't know, pal. Yeah. Okay? He gave him a stronger word later, too. He did? Yeah. Like? Oh, the reporter freaks out when he grabs the camera. He's like, what do you do? You don't touch her? It was a girl holding the camera. He says to him, he goes, are you crazy? Mark Slavin sounds a little, you know. Mark Slavin. Mark Slavin. Hey, Mark, maybe you're Slavin a little too hard. Seriously, dude. You know, like maybe it's time for vacation. We hit up Palm Springs and just lay by the pool. Absolutely. You know, because you're upset. He's very calming. Yeah. My name is Mark Slavin, and I'm the PR director, and we'd like to welcome you. Do I look like I want to be welcomed at this point? Yeah. Just loosen your belt. It's okay. Yeah. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to give you a five iron and let you tee off my nose. Seriously. This is what we're going to do right now. So creepy. Yeah, he's a little upset. I've got to watch the whole thing later. We'll post it. We'll put it on themikeyshow.com so you can check it out. Are we ready to do a little Little Whiz? I said we'd do a little Little Whiz. I went at the break. I don't need to go again. No, not that kind of Little Whiz. It was a rough day for me yesterday, Mike. I know. I've got to hear about this. Did you hear about it? No.
Tough day for Sienna. I'm always kept in the dark. Tough day for Sienna. She talks to little kids. This song slays me. Thank you, I think. Sienna sent me texts. Pretty upset. Really? Yes. So happy. Maybe I edit that down from 25 minutes. You say it every time. I love it. I can't. I don't think you can change it now. No. Everybody likes it. Stiana, what was the issue yesterday? So, I'm going to cry. Why? I'm not really, but I'm upset. What happened? I went to the park to interview the kids like I always do. And, you know, my belly's starting to show. I'm getting bigger, pregnant lady. Right. I'm very friendly when I approach moms because I need to get the parental permission before I start talking to the kids. Sure. So, I go up to three.
different moms, not together. And each of them told me that I couldn't interview their kids. One of them was like, no, no, no, no, no. Like when I started walking up to her, like, get away, get away, get away. Like I was going to do something awful. Oh my gosh. And I was like, oh, okay, okay. Oh, wow. I think your jug scared him. Okay. Yeah, but I didn't know what I did. Like, that's never happened before. Only when I was there with you. When you were with me one time. Creeped him out. The parents always said yes, but the kids were scared. Well, it's probably because I had a trench coat on and a bag of candy. That probably had something to do with it. I was in my van, too. That was weird. I mean, I think one other time a parent said no because they weren't... They were foreign and they didn't know what it was about. I think I just figured it out. Why? I think I just figured it out. I bet they thought that it was like a political thing. Now that I'm thinking about it and putting pieces together, I'm like, they probably thought that you were like a pregnant woman that had some agenda. I don't know. And you had a microphone and you were going to interview them about some serious thing.
And that's the only thing that I can take from is people must have been like, wait a minute. Is this for some? Pro-life. Yeah. That or something. I was so bummed. And so I was like, screw this. I'm living. So I went home and ate a lot of pickles and made myself happy. And I was like, no, I'm going back. I'm not just going to take this. Did you take a different approach? No, I've always had the same approach. I'm like, hi, my name is Sienna. No, no, no. I mean, when you went back. No, I did the same thing. I was wearing the same thing. It just worked a second time. Yeah. Well, you know what I know? You know what I did do the second time? I had my dog with me. It was an adorable little... Tiny Dachshund. And the kids love her. So it's like fate, you know? Right, right, right. So then I went back and, you know, still the shy kid. So I have, you know, two kids. One fades halfway through. I was having a rough day, but one of them loved me. So what are you asking them about? Memorial Day. Memorial Day, of course. What's your name? Alex. Alex, how old are you? Four. And what about you? What's your name, bud? Daryl William. And how old are you? No idea. Four.
Do you guys know what holiday is this weekend? Christmas. No, it isn't. No. That would be incorrect. It is not Christmas. Maybe the only holiday that he knew or something. This one this weekend is Memorial Day. Do you know what that is? Yeah. What? It's the day where you go. What do you go and do? Yes. You're right. Yeah. Woods goes every day. I go every day. Every day. Twice a day. Yeah. Like clockwork. Like clockwork. The other little kid said you go play. Mm-hmm. You play? Yeah, we play that too. What do you play? What do you eat on Memorial Day? I eat pizza. Doughbits. Doughbits? Doughbits. You got that one wrong too. Sorry, Sam. You eat hot dogs? Hamburgers. What are you going to do? Hamburgers. Hamburgers? Mm-hmm. What are you doing? Potato salad maybe? Potato salad. Maybe some macaroni salad from Kehlani's. Poppers. Ooh, poppers. I'm in on that. Fish. Now, what are you going to wear on Memorial Day? What do you think we should all wear? Firefighter clothes. That's a good idea. If we're wearing firefighter clothes on Memorial Day, it's because something real wrong happened at the queue. Exactly. All right? The barbecue did not work out the way we wanted it to if we're wearing that outfit. All right? That's what we don't want to wear. And we can wear firefighter hats until we get warm and fire. That's smart. What about, what do girls wear on Memorial Day?
They wear a princess dress. Oh, well. They wear what? A princess dress. A princess dress. What's he's like? That killed me. It's not the girls I see. Girls you see on Memorial Day. Exactly. Usually down in Mission Beach. They're wearing something different. A little bit. Brilliant. What song do you sing on Memorial Day? If you could think of a song. A, B, C, D, E, N, O, Q. Just late. N, O, Q. Poor little guy. Sorry, son. I'm sorry. No, he realizes that he messes it up. So I continue with more questions, but all he can think about is that mistake. He's like little Mikey. Yeah, he's driving home from work, and he's like, how did I blow that? Elemental Q. How did I blow that? How? How did I do Elemental Q? I froze. The mic was in my face, and I freaking froze. I messed it up. That's unbelievable. All right, let's go back. Let's see. Yeah.
A, B, C. Is he doing it again? Oh, no, no. You have to go back even before you skipped. I skipped some. That you can use as a decoration. What do you use as decoration on Memorial Day? A, B, C. That's another decoration? Yeah. Is this me at four years old? I'm like, no, no, no. I won't answer your question until I correct what just happened. Yeah, I'm going to get this one right. I messed it up. I'd like an opportunity for a redo. A, B, C. Like, what do I do? I just let him finish. You take a nap. You take a nap and let him finish. I let him finish. We get it, kid. Right. And Z. Are you happy, Mikey? Okay, can we move on? I know. You're ABC's. And next time, why don't you play with me? What is that? It's his own train version. Okay, got it. Yeah, just like me. Genius.
I love those little kids. Elemental Q. Elemental Q. Can we save the clip of him going, Happy Monday! And play that every year? Yeah, for sure. Happy Monday! Happy Monday! Just save that every year. Give me your take on this one. 570-1949. Our text is 949mikey at gmail.com. Hey, Mikey, I need your advice. I know you've been married a while and hopefully someone on your show can relate. But ever since I got married, dude. All we do is stuff with my wife's family. She grew up here, has a huge family. So every weekend, and I mean every weekend, we have some family thing to do. We've only been married a year. We've literally had about five weekends to ourself. And he italicizes literally. I'm seriously searching monster.com for jobs in Montana. Anything to get us away from her family. How do I get out of this stuff every weekend, bro? It's killing me. Not to mention my wallet. M1 Sally boy. Sally boy. I think we do a lot of family stuff. And if he's not used to it, it's like he's not. Yeah. No, he doesn't mind, though. They live really close. So, you know, we see him a lot. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. A lot of times.
You don't know this is going to be the situation. You're dating somebody. Maybe you've been dating for years. And you don't really realize that when you get married, the dynamic is going to change. So when it changes to every weekend we're doing something with them. It's kind of freaky. Yeah, because when you're dating, it's like maybe you have separate places and she's like, well, hey, I'm going to run to my sister's house and see my niece and nephew. Then I'll be over later. We'll go to the beach. We'll go to dinner. You're married now. It's, hey, we're going to my sister's house to see your niece and nephew. It's your family too. It's your family now. It's not my fault your family doesn't live here. I like that he called himself Sally Boy because he has no, yeah, he's like, well, I'm done. For me, I call it hardcore compromise. Call it hardcore compromise. Hardcore compromise means that you cut it in the middle. You go, listen, we're going to do half of this and half of it. We got a hardcore compromise. But I want to get people's take on this. 5701949. I want to know what you think, too, as an M1. Or text us 949mikey at gmail.com. Well, you know, I think he needs to find something because I have my like my baseball league on Sundays. Yeah. And, you know, Jamie and I get spent a lot of time together because we get off so early that we do get spent a lot of time together during the week, which is great. But when Sunday comes, that's kind of like.
Half my day, half hers. Because when I get done from baseball, it's we're hanging out. He needs to find something that is on a schedule. Dude, go take a class at a college on Saturday and be like, can't go, I got class. You know, like, do find something that you can't miss. Yeah. Or don't want to miss. Yeah. I think he should just tell his wife and be like, look, you know, I love. No, you can totally say it. What if Todd said it? He doesn't go to a lot of the family stuff sometimes. And it's not like he loves my family. And I know he does. But he's not used to being with family all the time. If he said to you, I'd like to do about half this stuff, how would you take it? I would be like, no. Maybe three-fourths. It's cool with me if he misses some of them. But isn't half a perfect compromise? It's 50. 50. 50-50. No, that's not a perfect compromise. That's not a perfect compromise. 50-50. It's 50-50. No. Why? Because I want more. Yeah, and listen, that's the problem. Men know they're women. I mean, Sienna's not any different. No. Sienna's not any different than any woman driving their car right now to work. That's what a woman will say. Kidding me? You're not going to go to half my stuff? My parents will think you're a jerk. Yeah, think you're a D if you don't go. 570-1949. M1RJ from Lakeside. Good morning, guys.
How you doing? Morning. How you doing? Well, I'm doing fine, thanks. First things first is, yeah, they've got to come up with some compromise because if it's five weekends the whole year, yeah, that's a little much. But on the other hand, I still find it very hard to believe that the guy wasn't paying attention to begin with. And, you know, it's one of those things where he's got to roll with it now. He's got to roll. It's part of what he married into. And they're probably really cool folks. I mean, family's a good thing. And I know that maybe he's not used to it and all. But he better get used to it because one of these days he's going to rely on it and he better start. cashing in, you know, putting some equity into that. He's going to need to take out a loan. I think I know. I think you're onto something, RJ. And I think I know exactly probably what went down here. He just got tired of it. He probably been doing it. This guy's right. RJ's right. He probably knew about it. And this is what goes on in this family. And he probably thought, if we get married, I'm not going to have to do that forever. Like, I'm not going to be expected to do that every single time. And he is. expected to. And now he's just like, really? With this bit? I'm done with this bit. I think I'm done, you know? Like, I want to stay home and watch a game. Yeah. And she's like, come on, honey. We're going to, you know, Heather's... Christening or something. Yeah. It definitely sounds to me like he goes to all of it. All of it. You know? I thought of Quinceanera weird. Weird that you thought about it.
But there is compromise. And she has to realize there's compromise, too. You know, and she should take his side sometimes. And some weekends tell her family, look, I'm just going to hang out with him. Like, we don't get very much alone time. And she should do that for her husband. So would you do that, Sienna? I have. What if it were 50% of the time? Oh, my goodness. No way. But you should, like, I pick and choose what he has to go do and what he doesn't. And what he wears. Hey. To the said event. Says Sienna. What's a you must go to this? A birthday. Graduation. What's a I don't care. Just like a Sunday dinner. Oh, really? Just the families together. Yeah, we usually my parents always have like my grandma over on Sunday. Yeah. And I usually go over there. We do that. We have the parents over every Sunday. But when we first got married, you know, my parents had just moved here. And so, you know, it would be five o'clock on a. Yeah. There had to be some talks, you know, and we had to talk about it because it's like we're a married couple, you know, I mean. You have to be able to talk to your significant other. You need your sleigh time, dude. You need your sleigh time. Absolutely. But the caller was right. I mean.
If we weren't with my family this much, my mom, she's going to be watching our baby while I'm at work every morning. Todd's going to drop the baby off. Really? Yeah, and for stuff like that, it's like, dude, family has your back. Yeah, that's what they're there for. Sometimes, yeah, it's a little annoying. You just want to hang out at home, but think of how much it means to them. Emma and Loriana from San Diego, are you there? Yes. What do you think? I agree with both of you guys, but... My husband and I have been married together. We've been together for seven years, and we both go half and half. Yeah, to the weddings, quinceañeras, all that. Yeah, that's a must. But barbecues, Sunday dinners, yeah, I'm not so... That stuff is important to me, man. It is, man. It is to me, too. Like, if we have Sunday dinner, like, I want, dude, I watch a lot of Sopranos. I want the whole bit every Sunday, the whole family. You guys are all invited, too, by the way. Right? Jamie's like, really? I'm cooking. Fitty? Fitty cent? You sounded tough, Mike. Yeah, you did. Fitty lost 50 pounds. Fitty lost 50 pounds. Fitty. From movie roll, and I'm going to tell you how he did. Dude is already pretty ripped. Fitty? Shredded.
Yeah. And so when we get back, I'm going to tell you what he did. You know what else we need to do? What? We got some gifts in here. Let's do it next. Next, the M1's brought some gifts in, so we'll do that. And we have a brand new Urban Survivor. Yeah! With Mikey Grills. Coming up next. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. With up to $1,000 bonus cash on top of existing offers, now is the best time to get to your Nissan dealer. The Nissan National 10 event is going on now. We've made our vehicles dependable, safe, and award-winning. And for a limited time, we've made them easier to get. With great offers on a full line of reliable cars, crossovers, trucks, and SUVs.
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Price and participation may vary. On the 805 northbound before the 15, accident over on the right shoulder. It's a rental truck and a pickup truck they've stuck together and a bunch of congestion behind them. The 805 northbound between Market Street and the 15, kind of slow this morning. Escondido has some delays on that 15 southbound, too, between Valley Parkway and Center City Parkway. This report also brought to you by Saquon Casino. Come to Saquon Casino now through June 28th. Grow some green. Win a share of over $350,000 in cash and price. including a brand-new Ford Escape Hybrid SUV. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning, T.F. This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a blustery Friday morning, being brought to you by my good friends at Guayaki Urbamate, and they are teaming up with your Jimbo's Naturally Local Markets to give you a chance to win one of two custom Rusty Surfboards built to your specifications. Enter this event at any of the Jimbo's locations, and while you're in there, make sure you pick up some fine products from Guayaquil, Yerba Mate. You'll be stoked. Surf-wise today, you will not be stoked, as we've got a combination of southwest and west-northwest wind and groundswells being pretty much obliterated by a combo of early tides being at a low right now and some strong northwesterly winds that have blown all night long. So typical kind of springtime conditions out there, weak and sectiony, inconsistent with some nasty wind crumble on it.
It's going to be tough to find a place to go out this morning, that's for sure, unless you're desperate. And if you are desperate, it's likely the best to bring a longboard. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out when the South Coast surf shops. Five locations taking advantage of our sale on Firewire surfboards this weekend through Monday. You'll be able to pick up this Firewire surfboard and get a $50 gift certificate to that store at the time. So take advantage of that. This surf report can be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I made an interesting observation over the weekend about myself, which was, at what age do we just start to use the word? Wonderful. Lauren. Yep. I admit when I'm wrong. Woods. If I had my choice, I'd be sitting on a beach having a Marlboro. Doing nothing. Sitting. Playing my guitar. That's it. Sienna. Yes, I have big boobs. And Jay. I'm so tired. On FM 94.9. Welcome back. We got a live studio audience. Welcome to Mikey Show. And M1 is a Mikey Show listener.
And if you are an M1, it means that you listen exclusively to The Mikey Show for long periods of time. And you make new people M1s. And when you call in, you turn your radio down, get to the point, and don't cuss. Don't forget, M1s are a part of the M1 Nation. You see that on the bumper stickers throughout San Diego County. Our billboards are up right now. And we got a website. It's called MikeyShow.com. You can also check out M1Site.com. Danny heads up M1Site, which is one of the baddest, baddest Mikey Show websites there is. I mean, it is the coolest. And a lot of the folks that go to M1Site are in here this morning and have brought some cool stuff. And so I get to check out with the cool stuff. My birthday's on Monday. And so they brought some stuff in and are going to give me some stuff. We're off the air on Monday. We should probably do a falsetto Friday right now. Just a happy birthday to Mike. Let's do it. You guys ready? I want you to sing through the whole thing and then I'll hit the high notes. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You got to drink some water. What's this clearing the pipes? You need the tea with the honey in it? Yeah. You ready? Ready? One, two, three. Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Very nice. And I got to get one for Hillary later, too, because it's her birthday. Today's Hillary's birthday. I'm going to drop a deuce on everybody today. So, Danny, let's pull this microphone up. Pull this microphone up right, right. This close. So what do you got today, Dan? Well, we got some gifts from some of the M1s from the M1 site. And first of all, we got a frame cubby picture for you. This is fantastic. So great. Now, this came from, just to give you a little bit of a background, the reason that I'm called cubby, my brother started calling me that.
Knew that it drove me nuts because he called me as a full-grown adult man, called me Cubby. And he did it because I worked at a country station called K-Cub. K-Cub. So he would call me K-Cubby and that evolved into Cubby. How much does he love it that I still call you Cubby? Oh, he must. I was going to ask you if he said anything to you. No, I wish he would have, though. But it's a picture of me dressed in a little... cubby outfit, like a little bear cub. And it's from M1 Baystring, M1 Brock, M1 DeBacchus, M1 Detroit Don, M1 HB, M1 Ironman, M1 Metal Dave, M1 Ronnie Bobani, and M1 Tim, and M1Site.com. Amazing. That's new studio material. This will go in Studio M when Studio M is all done and we get into our new studio. Very nice, guys. Studio M is going to be rad with all the stuff you guys keep bringing us. I know. We also got you some...
Topsy-Terry tomato planner. It's so great. This is the upside-down tomato grower, which I love to grow tomatoes. And we just asked LOB, who's in New Jersey right now, to bring back some of those Jersey tomatoes. This is great. I'll grow some in it. Can we do it in our new studio? Thank you, guys. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Thank you, guys. We couldn't afford a full-size one, so we actually ended up getting you a R8. Oh, my gosh, dude. That is great. It's not the one, it's the one, you know what this is? This is the car that Tony Stark drives in Iron Man. God, that's money, dude. And it's a full-sized, or it's a replica of that car, which this will be going right on my desk. That's beautiful. I'll never own one, so it's nice to actually have a small version of it. That's fantastic. So cool. It's awesome. And then. Brock is a crazy artist, and so he was able to make a really sweet painting for you guys. What is that? To hang up in the new... Oh, my gosh. The home of the M1 Nation. That is killer. Dude. That's so cool. Look at the background. It's all FM 94.9. That's great. We'll take a picture of that, put it on MikeyShow.com and M1Site.com so people can take a look at that. That's great, man. I love it. So cool. All of these things are going to be decorating the walls of the new studio, which is coming soon. Yeah, and then the very last one is... I was actually at a pretty sweet...
party last week on Friday. Yeah. You might have been there. Oh, that was my surprise birthday party. And I ran into this guy I know from a movie called The Godfather 2. What? And I got him to sign a poster for you. Oh, my gosh. His dad. It's my dad. That's great. It's a big Godfather 2 poster and my dad signed it. That is awesome. It says, to you, Mikey, whom I love, dad. Oh, that's great. Dude. This can go up in the studio for you. Absolutely. That is the coolest, dude. Thank you so much. Thank you, guys. That's very cool. Look at these, man. Come on up. Yeah, man. Say your name in the microphone. Hey, I'm Steve Burrows. How's it going, Mikey? Happy birthday. Thank you so much. Amazing artist. If you want to see your artwork, he puts it all over our Facebook fan page. If you go to Facebook.com and type in The Mikey Show. Join our fan page, and you can see some of his artwork. He does caricatures of us. They look like comic strips. And, dude, I'm telling you, you're so good, you could be working for any major newspaper in the United States. I'm not kidding. I mean, I want so many more. They're incredible. Oh, my gosh. How long does it take you to do one? You know what? They vary. Like, some of these, I actually doodled just sitting in my car and listened to you guys before I went into work. Unreal. No way. Do you do this for a living?
Yeah, I do. I'm a freelance artist, and I also work for a sign company full-time. Oh, my gosh. Where can people find you? Because those are amazing. Thanks. Go to burritoart.com. I have a lot of examples of my stuff on there. Incredible. Yeah, you can pretty much crank out anything you need. He's got a woodsy and a cowboy hat surfing, which is fantastic. He's got me holding a surfboard. And a full-sized penguin is standing next to me because we're the same size. Same size. And the penguin looks confused by me. Like, what am I doing surfing? No, he loves you. This is my favorite. He's got one of Woodsy surfing with me on top. You know, Woodsy's holding me. Woodsy's got his cowboy hat on. How great is that? Tandem surfing. A cigarette blast in my mouth. And your interpretation of Eskimo Blue Waters, which is absolutely fantastic. He also, over there I have a mermaid. He drew a mermaid for the baby nursery. So great. He drew Jay a picture from his surf trip. Yeah, it's insane. He did one of a VW with a surfboard on top that I stole to put in my office at home. So great. So great. So burritoart.com, right?
it that's it okay so rad thank you so much thank you dude we appreciate it yeah he's hanging out in the studio with us today uh all right so uh 50 cent apparently lost 50 pounds for some movie that he's doing right yeah he's gonna be in a new movie called things fall apart and he needed to play the role of a cancer patient so he lost 50 pounds using a liquid diet couldn't do it couldn't either do you want to see a picture of him that he posted on facebook yeah he is so skinny He was a little doughy before. Whoa! Like, his cheekbones are totally sunken in. Oh, my gosh. You've got to pass this around the room. Yeah, I will. And then we've got to put it on our Facebook fan page. Sickly, sickly. Let me tell you. Every time an actor does something like that, it's usually like Oscar time. It's usually Oscar time. The Machinist? Yeah. Christian Bale? Christian Bale, same deal. What was it? Charlize Theron, when she gained all that weight monster? For Monster. Oh, God. Yeah, it's amazing. I mean, you will not recognize him. He doesn't look like Fitty. But anyway, I could never drink a diet.
Are you kidding? I like steak. I wonder which one. There's ones with like honey and lemon. Cayenne pepper. Cayenne pepper, yeah. I've seen people do it before. You know what the problem is, though? It doesn't taste like pork chops. No, it doesn't taste like steak and cheesecake and the tiramisu that I got last night. I want to eat the fudge that's sitting over there. Imagine if you couldn't eat that. It tastes too good. What is that pork chop meal that you make that I go, oh my gosh, it's so... Which one? You make pork chops and you make a macaroni or... Macaroni and cheese. Macaroni and cheese. Chicken and broccoli and cheese rice. Oh, my God. Rice-a-roni? Yeah, you know that. With pork chops. Oh, that sounds so good. San Francisco treat. So good. So we have a new adventure with Mikey Grylls. I'm Mikey Grylls. I've never been a member of the British Special Forces. I barely got out of high school with a GED. And I've got no experience except for telling jokes on the radio. I will try to survive in urban situations using nothing. At the company's credit card, a car, an ice one at that, my wallet, and whatever things I can find on the internet. You're listening to Urban Survival. Right now, I'm inside of a hometown buffet. I'm walking by an icy machine. If I'm not careful, I could get a brain freeze. I'm starving, but there is only a few items I can eat. The only thing at my disposal at this moment is fried chicken.
Marsh potatoes, stuffing, corn niblets, meatloaf, green beans, okra, spaghetti, ham, macaroni and cheese, pizza, carrots, and french fries and fish patties. Other than that, I could starve. On the overhead speaker right now, Fleetwood Mac, hold me. When you're out in an environment like this, you've got to take advantage of everything. That's why I'm using the song Hold Me as inspiration. I'm holding it inside my heart. and I'm letting it remind me of getting home, hugging my children, seeing my wife. You've got to take advantage of everything. That song right now will provide me with inner nurturing. As if being starving and British in this building wasn't bad enough to make me feel awkward and different. I'm fairly certain I'm the only human being in this building under the age of 84. I'm about to wrap up my time here. There were so many decisions to make. As I look around,
All the food looks delicious. I can't decide on one thing. All I do now is that I'm here, I'm about to eat, and I'm about to get out of here as quickly as I can. I've now come across another person who's having lunch here as well. What did you have for lunch today? Oh, I had macaroni and cheese and chicken. May I ask you a question about your chicken? Yeah. Is it a fillet? What's a fillet? It's an actual cutlet, but it's more of just one single piece. Yeah, I think so. That's what I thought. I could recognize that anywhere. Thank you so much for taking the time. Here's the Mikey Grills tip of the day. Many people have written in and said, how could I change the flavor, the texture, and the composure of a French fry? The best way to do it is to go to something called the grocery store. Buy a tomato-based sauce called ketchup. You can pour the ketchup. onto a plate, or you can apply them right to the French fry. It changes everything. I once knew a chap that I was in the British Special Forces with. He introduced it to me, and although at the beginning it seemed quite unorthodox, and it literally changed my life. Until next time, I'm Mikey Grylls. You don't know. Really? Catsup? You don't know how long I wait. Every day I'm like, Urban Survivor? He does.
He does. We'll get out to surfing. He goes, hey, you got that Urban Survivor thing? Woods needs a CD just of that. Dude, it's my favorite. I want 45 minutes of Urban Survivor. I would die. Oh, it's so funny. Okay, so we're going to do a brand new game. We've never done this before, but it's pretty fun. We need two callers right now. 570-1949. And Jay, what do we got lined up as prizes? Let me guess. Tickets to Silver Sun Pickups, right? Is it? You were right on. It's Silver Sun Pickups with Anarchy or Angel Sunglasses. Very nice. Very nice. Okay. So here's what you got to do. You call us right now, 570-1949. We're going to play MIDI Madness. Here's how MIDI Madness works. First of all, you know what a MIDI is. Does everybody know what a... Danny, you know what a MIDI is, right? The little keyboard sounding thing. Do you know what that is? Does anybody know what MIDI is? No. Okay. It's a keyboard. It's basically a song. But it's done in like a really awful Casio, like... Little kids one. Yeah, it's like if you've ever seen Napoleon Dynamite, I think there's a scene in Napoleon Dynamite where they play songs on a MIDI. Yep. Is it in it? Yep. Okay. So what you're going to do is you're going to be hearing very popular songs that are on the radio that you would hear now. But they're going to be done in this awful Casio. And you have to tell... You have to...
Figure out what it is. And the way that you do it is, say, for instance, me and you were playing Sienna. If you knew first, you would just say your name, Sienna. Okay. So as soon as you recognize it, you say your name. It's that easy. And if you get it right, you get it right. If you guess, though, and you guess wrong, forget it. Your opponent wins that round. Can we just say the artist or the song title? Yeah, title or artist is all you need. As long as you know the title or the artist, you're good to go. You don't need to know both. M1 Ryan, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. How you doing, Ryan? Great. How about you? Good. So, Silver Sum pickups tickets are on the line for you, and you are going to be playing against M1 Garrett. Detroit! It's not our program director, but same name. Yes, it is. M1 Garrett from La Jolla. You there? Yeah, I'm there. Okay, one more time real quickly on the rules. The way that MIDI Madness works is, I'm going to play you a song that is played in MIDI form. When you recognize it, say your name, okay? Say my name, say my name. Okay. Now, if you get it wrong, your opponent wins. Do you understand? I understand. Okay, you use your name as a buzzer. Here we go. Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. It's Green Day. Yeah. You are correct. You are correct. Oh, yeah. Very nicely done. Are we keeping score? Ryan already wins. Oh, it's over. Yeah, we'll do three different. Yeah, so just keep.
Keep getting me listeners. Love this game. Do we have at least three that we could give away, Jay? Man, I hope so. Yeah. Well. I'm not aware that that would be. Jay just looked at you like, that's not how we're supposed to play. Mikey, if not, I can give some of you like my used spit cup or something. Yeah, yeah. We'll give you a used spit cup. Hang on the line, will you, Ryan? I agree. Hang on the line. Yeah, because we got a few of them in it. I'm having way too much fun to stop. Oh, I'll do it all day. So. And if we can't give them Silver Sun pickup tickets, we have an alternate prize. Sunglasses. Sunglasses. Yeah. Angel or anarchy. Yeah. So all we need is people that are willing to play. Oh, my gosh. I love that. He said we're good. He said we're good. We're good. We're good. M1 Adam, you there? Yeah, I'm here. Okay, cool. You ready to play a little MIDI Madness? Yeah, I'll try. Okay, cool. M1 Matt from San Diego, are you there? Matt, can you hear me? There we go. Matt, you there? Yes, sir. All right, cool. Remember, you're going to be buzzing in by using your name. So if you recognize the song, you need to say your name nice and loud. You ready? Yes. Here we go. Know it? I think. That's awful. It's awful. Come on, guys. Oh, I know. I don't know the name of the song. Say your name. Say your name. Adam. Adam, go ahead. What do you think? All I need is title or artist. Kings of Leon? Yep. That is correct. Got it.
Well done. It was You Somebody by Kings of Leon. Nice, Adam. Adam, very well done. Hang on the line. All right, we got one more. M1 Shira? Shira. Shira from La Mesa. Hang on the line. Look at a girl stepping in. I know. And then finally, M1 Public from Valley Center. Are you there? Yeah, here. All right. Remember, use your name as a buzzer. And I'm going to play you a popular song now. Remember. It could be from any format of music. It could be rock. It could be pop. It could be anything. But don't forget, they're all popular songs. As soon as you recognize it, I just need you to say your name as loudly as you can. Title or artist is all you need. Are you ready? Ready. Here we go. Public. Tonight's gonna be a good night. Title or artist? Black Eyed Peas. Yep. You got it. Well done. Nice. Hang on the line. Hang on the line, public. Very well done. He just goes, woo! That was great. I love that. I could do that forever. You guys want to try in the studio? Yeah. Let's try one in the studio. And you guys can hear it, right? Okay, I'm going to play it. Okay, let's not play. I'm not playing. I've seen them all. If you know it, say your name and raise your hand. Here we go. Right here. Up here, up here. What is it?
That was great. Takes a very secure man to admit that. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. Miley Cyrus, party in the USA. I would have known it on the first name. Mikey, Mikey. Yeah. I would have got it. Weird. You guys want the Bret Michaels stuff? I haven't given you the Bret Michaels stuff yet. A big revelation came out with Bret Michaels when he did American Idol the other day. Tell you all about it. By the way, what do you think the ratings were for that? It wouldn't surprise you. I'll tell you next. Part of the Mikey Show now. 4070-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Well, tonight there's a really good show at the beautiful Birch North Park Theater and its all ages. Transfer are playing with Dirty Sweet, The Silent Comedy, and Apes of Wrath.
All ages tonight. Go see that one. Courtney Love and Hole will play 4th and be next week, June 3rd. The XX are at the House of Blues June 8th. Delta Spirit will play at the Belly Up that same night, June 8th. The Wigs are at the Belly Up June 17th. Pinback plays at the Del Mar Racetrack on July 23rd with FM 94.9. And Silver Sun Pickups hits Soma on August 7th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. A message from the Mazda 6 sports sedan to its competitors. Bring it on. Let's go toe-to-toe, tire-to-tire on everything. Let's compare room, standard features, safety ratings, how it feels on a test drive, the works. Bring it on. Let's see what the experts say. Let's talk things like V6 horsepower. Got you beat there, Camry Accord and Altima. Bring it on. Let's put it all on charts at our dealerships and let the consumer decide what to drive. Because we think it'll be a slam dunk for the 2010 Mazda 6. Hey, you know what? We'll even toss in a really good offer you can try to beat.
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Some of us come from the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and the Department of Defense. Some of us have families who do. As we serve our country, we also buy cars, finance homes, educate our children, and plan for retirement. During it all, Navy Federal is there. For over 75 years, they've been there. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. Navyfederal.org, Equal Housing Lender. It's Bob Baker Mazda's May Sale-a-bration sales event with 0% financing on approved credit on 010 Mazda 3s, Mazda 6s, and Mazda CX-9s. Test drive yours at BobBakerMazda.com, Car Country, Carlsbad. Report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Star Safety System is standard on all Toyota models. For more information, please visit. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Star Safety System is standard on all Toyota models. For more information, please visit toyota.com.
Toyota moving forward. On the 78 westbound ramp to Emerald Drive, a disabled car. It's blocking the number three lane of that off-ramp. And we got a lot of backup as a result. The 805 northbound before the 15, an accident over on the right shoulder. And as you travel through the 8 westbound this morning at Hotel Circle North, we have another car that's stuck. They've moved it to the Gore Point while they change a tire. A lot of congestion, though. And the 94 westbound between College Groveway and 47th Street. Speeds in the mid-20s right now. This report also brought to you by you. Switch to USAA Auto Insurance. You could save an average of $461 a year in premiums. Find out how at usaa.com slash car. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. SDP. Freaking great. That's great. That's what it is. That's Huckleberry Crumble. Isn't that a great name? That's so great. Great name for a song. I love it. And it's so Stolen Temple Pilots. And it's got a little Aerosmith feel to it. I love it, man. It's good. Mean. Croutons is the company that brought the food in. Incredible sandwiches. Yes, yes. Incredible sandwiches. They're hot sandwiches. They're absolutely delicious. We're having turkey and basil. People are having all kinds of different sandwiches in here today. And they brought this thing when he said it.
When he said it, I go, there's no way. There's no way. There's no way. In my head, there's no way. Brownie, bacon brownies. Smoked applewood bacon in brownies. And I'm like, there's no way. There's no way. I tasted it, and it tasted like brownie. I'm chewing it, and then all of a sudden, this warm, sweet taste of bacon hits me, and my brain goes, I love you, bacon. I'm in 100%. I just took my first bite. And then my brain went, I love you too, brownie. Oh, my gosh. You guys are neighbors? I really like both of you guys. I'm happy you're my neighbor. It's delicious. Those are incredible. It's incredible. Who would have thought? You would have never thought that those two are okay together. Not only are they okay, they're bosom buddies. They're delicious. They're delicious. The best part is they're good for you. Absolutely, right? Zero calories, no fat. Croutons2Go.com. is the website if you want to check them out. And they do catering. So if you're doing a cool catering event, they've done all kinds of stuff. Microsoft, Qualcomm. They've done events from Microsoft and Qualcomm. I think if they can do Microsoft and Qualcomm, they can do something you're doing. And they want to thank the Mikey Show, they said, and 94.9 for keeping it local, supporting the hometown places. Croutons is great. Check them out. It's really incredible food. It's a party in my mouth. That is. It is, man. So good.
Four locations, by the way. La Jolla, Village Square, Sereno Valley, UCSD Campus, and Carlsbad. Mom, I want a croutons in our house. Mom! So good. Give me a croutons built at the house. You heard there's one in La Jolla. I'm just fine. You can have it at your house, croutons.com. You got it. Brett Michaels. So Brett Michaels, as you know, suffered from an aneurysm? Was it an aneurysm? Yeah, a heart aneurysm. No, a brain aneurysm. A brain aneurysm, yeah. And then he has a hole in his heart, and he suffered from a mild stroke. Yes. Can only be filled by you. That's right. Let's see how many days in a row we can do that joke. And he went on American Idol. Now, he did a press conference after performing on American Idol, and Woodsy and I have been going. I mean, dude, maybe you take it to the house. Yeah, dude. We're not going to forget about you, man. Take a few weeks yourself. Is that a poison joke you worked in? I won't forget. No, but that's good. Hey, Brett. I won't forget you, babe. Yeah, I won't forget you. Okay. Okay, so listen to what he says. Cry tough. The doctors, I didn't tell them I was going to do this. All I told them was I was doing Celebrity Apprentice, the finale, and never told them I was coming here. So they're going to find out here in a few minutes when they say it's going to be. But I feel great. I've got to be honest.
You feel alive? He didn't tell his doctor. No. You know why you didn't tell his doctor? They say no. They say no. Do you want to suffer something bad on television live? Yeah. And here's my thinking. Why was it that important? I think he just wants to show people like, look, I'm here. I'm doing great. I feel good. I'm a rock star. This is what I love. Well, because my thinking is that you're going, I could die if I do this, but. It's American Idol. I mean, why was it that important to be on there? Why not sleep? Go home. Take a nap. Maybe cut to a live feed of me laying in my bed going, hey. Just wanted to tell the winner, congratulations. Great job. And, hey, I'm doing great. I'm going to be up on my feet soon. Thank you guys for your support. Wish I could be there to play Every Rose Has Its Thorn with you. But you know what? I have a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you. Brain hemorrhage. Yeah, I have a brain hemorrhage. So I'm going to stay home. Yeah, I'm going to kick it here. I've got the new DVD of The Sopranos, and I'm going to watch that. I'm going to watch the third season. Yep. See you guys later. How do you feel, though, Brett, lately? How have you been?
A lot of things, yeah, a lot of things and a lot of pain I'm still experiencing. But except for a little, as they say, hitching the giddy up of getting out there, my left side from the warning stroke, I feel amazing. His daughter, I wonder if his daughter's all right with it. If it was any member of my family, I'd be like, I'd be fuming. You're not going to do it. My mom is notorious for having surgery, major surgery. And then three days later, she's like, well, I'm going back to work. And then inevitably, you know, another surgery. And I beat my head against it while I yell at her. I'm like, keep your ass in bed. The apple don't fall far. Sienna's like, I'm going to take like three days after the baby's born. I'll be back, guys. Here's Brett on the moment that he won The Apprentice. When he said, I thought he said you're, I didn't know if he said you're hired or fired, but I knew it was live TV. So if I acted like I won, no one could change it. All the confetti came down. I'm like, but I leaned in. If you watch the end, I leaned in and say, did you say hired or fired? I didn't know what he said. I just jumped up and I was looking at him and I thought when he goes back and forth, I know his pattern. I thought he was going to, I'm like, I'm like.
Trump, you're not going to fire me right now. I'm on medication. I flew a long way. And it was a great, I felt though I worked really hard. I didn't throw anyone under the bus. And I think that they saw the creativity and the drive. And Holly is amazing. She's a fierce competitor. How hysterical is it that he didn't know if he said you're hired or you're fired? I know they should really separate those words a little bit. Yeah. Especially when you have an accent that goes, yeah. You're what? You're 10. I don't understand. Leave? Stay. Job? Benefits? Leave. Put an appointment? Scariest thing ever. Wouldn't know what to do. Have you seen the ads with the baby wearing designer diapers? No, but I want them. But I'm getting them. Rest assured. Huggies made some new diaper that looks like jeans. Wait, wait. Seriously. I need to see this. What do you mean? Come around over here. I was hoping that you weren't going to say they are like Louis Vuitton with like the LV all over. I would have been like, really? You're going to hear the word poo. I just want to warn you. This is the actual commercial they're running on television now. Take a listen. Little kid walking in a sharp button down. Their jeans. I do this on my blog. It's that good. Pretty limited edition.
Absolutely 100%. They're hysterical. Are you going to get them for the guys? Of course we are. It's hysterical. Really? Dude. I am in 100%. And they should do them in a million different funny things. You know, they should do sumo wrestling. It looks like little sumo, you know. They should do a billion different versions of it. If you haven't seen the commercial, you're going to start seeing them on TV. Basically, it looks like two girls that are like Paris Hilton sitting down having lunch in L.A. in Beverly Hills. They got on designer glasses and one of the girls, hot brunette, pulls her sunglasses down in slow motion to the bridge of her nose like, what just walked in? And they show a toddler walking with a nice polo button down. Probably the world. It was like Tom Brady's son. Yeah. And he's got on diapers that look like jeans. It's hysterical. Like, when you first said that, I was like, are they like pants that are diapers? They are actual diapers. Like, you know, just cover the butt, but they have a jean pattern. I think Woods thinks it's the lamest thing he's ever heard in his life. I can tell. It's the dumbest thing. Do you like it? It's all right. Do you like it? I'll dress my kid. Look what we do to our dogs. Can you imagine what we're going to do to our kids? Talk about a complex. So with a kid, every time he walks in the room, you're laughing at him.
I know. Right? What do you think? Are you going to get them, Sienna? Yes. I want girl ones, though, because they're kind of boyish. Yeah. Like a little tutu or something. Yeah. Let's see. 570-1949 is our number. And we'll post that. We'll put that, like, on... MikeyShow.com so you can see it on the blog. I'm going to put it on my blog. It will be there. I'll put it up the next commercial break. That'd be great. Cutest little kid ever. Little strut. If you want to, you can text us. 949Mikey at gmail.com is our text number. And today's a nice day. We've been having fun. It's been a fun morning. My birthday's on Monday and people brought in some really cool stuff. Sienna brought in for me for my birthday. She brought me the... USC t-shirt. She knows I like SC. And he won't, he says, he said this a couple days ago, I won't ever wear USC because of woods. Well, I didn't know he'd give me a hard time because he's a domer. And you know me, I'm like, Mike, I stand up for you. So I am encouraging it. She's like, you got to do it. Uh-oh. My son Luke's on the phone. Of course he is. He's a nine-month-old baby. I have twin boys, Luke and Ryan. Luke? I want those freaking diapers.
Like, when you get off the air, go ahead and take it over to Target, wherever you gotta go. Don't come home without those jean diapers. Luke! Understood? So people that are listening know, this is my nine-month-old son, Luke. On your television screen right now is a picture of him, and it says, on the phone, Luke. Angry baby. Why did you just exhale? What is that? What are you doing? Don't worry about it. Luke? Are you smoking? Luke? No, I'm not smoking. Are you blasting cigs? Luke? You're nine months old. You can't even walk yet. You're nine months old. That's ridiculous. No, you don't. First of all, you don't. I walk silly all night. Is that right? I am your father, Luke. Are you? Yes, I am. Are you? Are you? Can you prove it? Yes, I can, actually. Can you? Yes, I can. Can you? Yes, yes, yes. Children! So, here's the deal. I got a thing tomorrow night, and those will rock the house. If I can show up in those things, make that ride for me, and I'm going to rock the house in those jean diapers. What is this thing? Yeah, what is that? What are you doing? It's a rave.
Really? Yeah. You're going to go to a rave? It's a baby rave. You already got the binky. It's a baby rave. Take, hey. Taking my pacifier. Lukey, take the sunglasses off. It's 8.15 in the morning. Well, and what I'm going to do. And you're indoors. Take off the sunglasses. I'm going to put Ryan in the little baby Bjorn, and he's coming with me. I'm going to have me in the front and him on the backside. Uh-huh. It's going to be badass. Yeah, that sounds it. So, anyway, Captain, when do you get off? My name's not Captain. It's Daddy. Okay. All right. So don't call me captain. Okay. What time do you get off again? I get off at 10. You know that. Okay. Do I? Before you get home, make sure you make that ride for me. All right. Thanks, Luke. Because I'm going out tomorrow night. Got it. I don't want to look like a dill hole. Uh-huh. Okay. Great. Thanks. Regular diapers look like dill holes now. Luke thinks that if he wears regular diapers, he'll look like a, quote, dill hole. Mike, what are you going to do with that boy? I don't know. Ryan's so good and sweet and loving. And Jake is so sweet. I know it. I know it. And Luke looks at me like, you're going to go to the store and get my cigs or am I just going to sit here and smoke myself? Seriously? Smoke myself? That'd be hard to do. He's ridiculous. Ridiculous. So what were the ratings for American Idol?
You think they were good or bad? I think 900 billion people watched, and there's only 20 billion people in the world. Yeah. They're always good. American Idol's always good. But the ratings dropped 16%. What? What are you doing? I'm telling you, this season of American Idol, and I have to agree with the people, it really wasn't that great. Really? Yeah. I mean, it's season nine. It fades. I think maybe people are a little tired of these clowns. What makes me upset is I've been reading things about people kind of blaming Ellen. Really? No. Like saying that she wasn't really doing that great. I didn't see one episode. How do you blame Ellen? Ellen, if people vote, uncrack. Ellen's awesome. Ellen is hilarious. She's hysterical. Was she good on there? Yes, she was really good. Honestly, everything she said, she was very confident in what she said. She didn't let anything that the other judges say persuade her decision. She was very good. Didn't she? No. Well, she went second after Randy, and Randy doesn't know what he's talking about anyway. So check this out. So Sienna went to the grocery store yesterday.
Saw a friend of yours. Now, this whole thing, I'm going to have you tell this story because you told us yesterday. And I want you to tell it on the air because I don't buy this bit. This is so strange. But here's where I am. I'm like, I'm 99% don't buy it. And there's 1% of me that's like, okay, maybe. Tell me the story. Okay, so I go to the grocery store. And I see one of my friends from high school who I haven't seen in a while. Now, I had heard through the grapevine of mutual friends that, you know, she had a baby and everything. And I was like, oh, that's great. Well, she had her three-year-old daughter with her at the store and she noticed that I was pregnant. So we immediately start talking babies. And she says to me, yeah, you know, like when did you know that you're pregnant? And I said, oh, you know, I found out after just a little bit. And she said, I didn't find out until I was eight months. Really? Eight months. And I was like. Keep on the poker face. Keep on the poker face. How do you not know? I'm six months. I'm enormous. You know, and I feel kicks constantly. And and I was like, really? And she said, yeah, it was weird. Like, you know, I kept getting my regular cycle and I didn't have any symptoms. And I just I had no idea. How do you get your friend?
I think it's, I think, I mean, I didn't go into details asking about it. We don't need that. I don't want to know. Yeah, but I think it was maybe just like really, really light. I'm a guy, I'm a guy, I'm a guy. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, you children. So, and she was just telling me, she was like, no, you know, I didn't, I didn't really get big at all. I was in a bathing suit. It was during the summer. Like no one said anything. She's a larger girl. No, she's skinny. C-N-er. I was telling you, unless she got really big when she was pregnant or around that time. She didn't notice a baby kicking her in the gut. In high school, she was really skinny. And when I saw her the other day, she was really skinny. She married to an Ethiopian? No. She's not married. Okay. I was just curious. Yeah, and that's the thing, too, is, you know, she wasn't married and the guy was no longer around and it was like this huge surprise. But she's the baby, 100% healthiest could be, the cutest little girl ever. Does she slay an Ethiopian? I don't know. What? What's the matter with you? What? It's a valid question. How is that not valid? What does it have to do? What about a Kenyan? What about a Kenyan? Maybe a Kenyan? Tell me why. Because they're all skinny. Invalid. It's valid. But I said she's skinny. Turns out she married a Kenyan.
M1 Baby Shaker is back, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, I love Baby Shaker. I'm sorry. I know, but you hear these things. I mean, you guys have all heard it before, right? It's a psychological thing because being pregnant draws nutrients from your body that you can't help but notice from your normal day-to-day life. Yeah, that's what I, listen, there's a deal. Baby Shaker, have you ever seen on TLC or one of these channels where they have this thing and it's called, I didn't know I was pregnant. It's like a TV show. I didn't know I was pregnant. Have you ever seen that? Yeah, I've seen it, but not those women were, for better phrase, plus size women. Yes. Yeah, yeah. No, you are correct. They were plus size women. But here's the thing. Even with the plus size women, I'm like, how? Do you not feel a baby swimming around? How do you not feel that? And, I mean, your body is so different. You're used to having a half chicken in your stomach. You know, you don't know. Half a chicken. You're used to having half a chicken, quote, half a chicken sticking in your stomach. You know what, man? I think there's a big difference between a Henry's rotisserie chicken.
And a baby kicking around. I just do. Thank you, baby shaker. We appreciate it. You've heard the stories of the women that didn't even know until they were in labor. Their water broke and they're like, what's going on? Don't believe it. We talked about a story a couple months ago about a sumo wrestler whose water broke and she was at practice with her trainer. A guy sumo wrestler can't even have a baby. That's ridiculous. It was a girl. M1 Jenny from Spring Valley. Hey, how's it going? Good. I had a friend. She had a little boy that was a year old. And on his first birthday, we were all over there hanging out. She goes, guess what, guys? I found out I'm pregnant. So I haven't been to the doctor yet. When she went, she found out she was five months pregnant with twin boys. Wow. Okay, well, I do believe that there's, I don't, you know, it's hard to believe even at five months. But, you know, the whole, I'm eight, I'm nine months pregnant. No idea.
I watched, okay, so I watched this show, and there's a lady, and she's like, you know, I thought that I was having really bad indigestion. And so I'm in the bathroom, and I'm on the toilet, and I'm doing my thing. And she said the baby was born. And I'm like, no way. That cannot happen. How? How do you not know? Isn't it supposed to be excruciating pain? Wouldn't you go to the doctor? I think it's different for some women. I've heard of some women, and it's like... It's a piece of cake. Yeah, for me, it was a piece of cake. It was for me, too. I really hope I'm one of those women. I hope you are, too. I'm not going to be. I know that. And one Mike from Vista. You there, Mike? Hey, yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. Yeah, I actually know somebody who had a baby that did not know she was pregnant. You believe her? It's as true as can be. You believe her? You believe her? Do you believe her? Oh, yeah, I know she was. I mean, I seen her every week. She was a leader in my wife's girl. I can see that.
She still had her thing every now and then, a little bit. That was way more than I wanted. You guys grow up. I can't. That part of me is going to be seven until I'm 58. I still don't know what it is. I'm 34. I don't get it. I don't want to know. I don't want to know what all that apparatus is for. I have no idea how it works. I don't want to know. Fine not knowing. Fine not knowing. All I want you to do is just tell me that it's Fruit Roll-Up. Just say it's a fruit roll-up. That's gross. That's even worse. It's not gross. No, no, no. You know how fruit roll-ups come in those little packages? Yeah. That's what I want to pretend. That's what it is. Let me pretend that. Let me pretend. You took something natural and made me almost vomit. I know. No, I'm... What are you, children? I'm talking about those children. You're children. Are we? I am, a little bit. I am. M1, Alicia from San Diego. Are you there? Your friend only gained how much during pregnancy? She's a tall, skinny girl. She gained 11 pounds during her pregnancy, and I saw her a week after she had the baby, and she weighed three pounds less than before she even got pregnant. Was the baby like two ounces? No, the baby was like low six, like six pounds, like three ounces. Healthy. She's a healthy baby. How does that happen? I mean, you could tell she was pregnant because she's a skinny girl. You could see it.
But she didn't gain weight anywhere else. Like, she gained a baby and a couple other pounds, and that's it. All those girls to me are aliens. Well, all I know is that when I watch the specials, right? When I watch these documentaries. Maybe you try watching the Padres. Really? Yeah. Really? I prefer TLCs. I know. I didn't know I was pregnant. Good Lord. Well, listen, it's kind of... They're crazy shows. It's kind of interesting. What's he's going to be... Is it really? He's shaking his head at me right now. You would like it. You would be like, what? It's kind of creepy, dude. I think you would. I think I'd rather watch John Garland throw him, maybe. Really? Yeah. All right, fine. I'll tell you what. I'll watch one hour of a Padre game if you'll come over and watch I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Zero percent. I think you'll like it. Zero percent. And you guys can put on makeup? Yeah, we'll play a little. Maybe we'll have a tea party. A guy puts makeup on one time and you suddenly want to put him into a pigeon hole of a makeup wearer? Well, he's been telling me in the hall he can't wait to go home and he's going to actually do some research and find out where he's going to get his good stuff. Hey, dude, Kiss did it. Fair enough. I had nothing for that. Yeah, Kiss did it. Fair enough. Kiss was genius, though. M1 Zoe from Santee, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. You know a girl how pregnant? She was. I was nine months pregnant, and I had a seven-pound baby. She was eight months pregnant, didn't show an inch, and she had a 10-pound baby. Do you know why women, I have a theory. You know why some women may say that they didn't know they were pregnant? Maybe so they could blast cigs and do.
Drink tequila? Yeah, that's what they say in these specials. They're like, you know, and so I didn't know. So I was still doing eight packs a day and, you know, going and drinking a bunch of scotch and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, really? You didn't know? You didn't know? And babies are fine, by the way. Thank God, man. I know. What did my grandmother say about my dad? Seriously. Well, it was a different time. We didn't know. We did eight balls back then. Yeah, they did a lot of everything. They didn't know anything about eight balls then. Oh, yeah. Does this get you, dude? Oh, it gets me every time. Journey, Star in Love. Just going to make out in the car. I know. In your Camaro. C28. Yeah. Hey, what you doing? That's what I do. Weird. When I tell you. Why this chick from Michigan is suing the airlines. You may be totally on board or you may be like me, just completely outraged and want to move off the planet and get on an airline yourself and move to Mars. I'll tell you next. Oh my God, it's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com.
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a tractor trailer that's stuck. It's blocking the number three lane of the off-ramp. It is a full trailer and they cannot move it. They're waiting for someone to help them out. This report also brought to you by Jack in the Box. Come to Jack in the Box to try a new grilled breakfast sandwich on grilled artesian bread with a cup of the new Kona Classic coffee at participating restaurants. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. Back to the Mikey Show. Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Sienna. Every time I go to the grocery store, I know someone practically in every aisle. Woods. The best movie ever made. Footloose. Lauren. I have to admit, I like party in the USA. And Jay. I don't watch sports. I have nothing to do. If I'm not playing, I don't want to see it. This is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Once he's picking the music today, Body Talk, that is right. That is one of those 80s hair bands that I never did see a concert. Did you, Woodsy? I saw Piercy solo, which was awful. Bark Malvin has a great Piercy story. Bark was at a concert in Austin, and he had his station's shirt on. Yeah. So literally, Steven Piercy, who used to sing for Rat, had his own band. And he, in the middle of the show, goes, hey, man. He looks at Malvin, he goes, why isn't KLBJ playing my records?
Right in the middle of the concert, Bauman, and, like, the spotlight goes on Bauman. He's like, I don't know, dude. I'll work on it. Like, he didn't know what to say. He's like, I don't know. What am I, the PD? Yeah. We're not playing your record because it sucks. Okay? Plain and simple. Deal with that, pal. Don't cry about it. Oh, that's awesome. Isn't that great? So, okay, so, Sienna, tell me the story about this lady from Michigan. Oh, my goodness. She's upset with the airline. Ginger McGuire is her name. She's from Ferndale, Michigan, and she's suing United Airlines after she was left alone on a plane for hours after it had landed. Okay, explain now. Okay, I will. She was on United Express flight from D.C. to Philadelphia. She says she fell asleep during the flight. It landed shortly after midnight on Tuesday, but no one woke her up until the cleaning crew found her four hours later. Where was she flying to? She was flying to Philadelphia from D.C. Philly. Okay, here's what she told reporters. I fell asleep on the plane and the next thing you know, I wake up. It's four in the morning. Nobody's on the plane. Nothing. Scared to death. I mean, I'm sure the plane's closed, you know, like all dark. No one's there. People are cleaning it. I don't believe nobody tried. I don't believe it. I believe people tried to wake her. I believe that. How could the crew just leave? You think she's on real hypnol, dude? I mean, why? I don't know.
Well, she's filing a lawsuit for false imprisonment, emotional distress, and negligence. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. Uh-oh, here comes the gimp. I know it. Bring out the gimp. Maybe you wake up. Maybe you set a little alarm clock for your diapy. For your diapy change. What are you, baby? How do you, but like, that's what I mean. Okay, you're sitting up in a chair. How comfortable can you be in? What kind of world are we living in? Like, I over, ah, I slept. They didn't wake me up. I want millions of dollars. Like, even if they didn't. Let's say they didn't wake her up. And just left. She woke up and the plane's empty and what? The cleaning crew was there cleaning. But it was four hours after it had landed. She says no one tried to wake her up. I don't believe it. I don't believe nobody tried to wake her up. Well, she didn't say that. I mean, she thinks no one did because she was still sleeping. But you can't. Okay. But devil's advocate. You can't just leave. Can you? What do you do? You shake the crap out of her until she wakes up. What if they did? You pour water on her face. Then you call the police. You would call the police. Someone would come and pick her up. You can't just take her to the house, dude. Why can't you take her to the house? There's nothing wrong with taking her to the house. Wake up. You can't just leave her. No, you can't, Hoyle. Trust me. Listen, I traveled once to the Caribbean because I wanted to get my drink on. You and Mama? I bet you did.
You and Mama went to the Caribbean? Mama was there. Mama was there or you went with Mama? She was a chaperone. Okay. When was this? I was turning 25. Okay. And Mama flew me to the Caribbean so I could get my drink on. All right. Now, I remember we landed and it was the first time I'd ever had a drink. What did you have? I had a Roy Rogers. A Rob Roy? Yes, I had a Rob Roy. Shirley Dumbled. Sue me. I thought it was called a Roy Rogers. And I had so many of them that I passed out. Okay. It's happened to me, too, several hundred times. I had two. Two drinks? I'd never drank before, Sienna. I didn't know. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Did you not eat dinner or something? No, I had had dinner. The problem is that I had had too much to drink. Had the two. Woke up. Mama had left. I was there on the plane by myself. I started crying. I didn't know where Mama was. I was going, Mama, Mama. She never came back. I didn't sue no airline. You can't sue the airlines for doing that, Woods. If you did that every time you fell asleep on an aircraft, you'd be suing every five minutes. You'd be rich in the Elan Woods. That's true. That's a good point. You can't leave her on the plane, though. You can't leave her. You just can't walk. You would have police come, and they would pick her up, put her on a stretcher, take her to the hospital. I think it's unusual. I think it's unusual they left her on the plane.
I've told this before, but do you know how many times I slept through my stop on the train in college? Oh, hundreds of times. Can you imagine suing? Because you fell asleep and didn't wait. Now, I get it. They didn't wake her up. But on a train, it's different. Do you know how many times I've been drunk, though, in the past on a plane? And I'm like. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Woods is like, yeah, I actually do. Yeah. But this plane wasn't changing flight. You know, they weren't going to another destination. That was it. Same flight. That was it. It stopped. Yeah. You can't just leave it over there. Let's see. Oh, well, I'm sure that story's not over. Oh, absolutely. So, Sienna, what is coming out today in theaters? Well, let me just remind you, Sex and the City 2 came out yesterday. That's the big one. Right. I've heard bad things. What? Have you? No. I've heard... horrible thing. Ebert said something bad but what does he know? I don't listen to him anymore but dude I've heard like on Facebook people were like so disappointed. Really? Yeah my wife was like I just took all the air out of her sails too yesterday when she got in. No she couldn't wait. She's so excited. She hasn't seen it yet? No. She's making me take her. My wife too. By making I want to. Yeah. By making he means he can't wait. He laughed in my face. He did?
He would never go. I took her to the first one and I had a kind of a connection. So we got to go see it a day early. We had to wait in line. My brother took his wife and it was real sweet. I liked it. I put on makeup. I like that. That's what you do. I met Smith Jared. Did you really? Well, I actually like stalked him a little bit. My wife would love. I don't even know what that means. Smith Jared is the young, blonde, really hot guy. Jason. It's Louis. Yeah. Oh my God, I'm good. That was really weird. That was really weird. That was really weird. That was really weird. Really? With the makeup jokes? Really? Really? Looking at me through your hand? I don't blame you. I saw him at Comic Con. He was dating Rosario Dawson. They may still be together, but he was there. Where'd you see him? Woods, the Brass Plum? The little girl's place over at Nordstrom? The Brass Plum? Did you see him at the Brass Plum buying a brand new blouse? I went running after him and made a fool of myself. Did you? Yeah, because I was working on a radio station, and I had a recorder, and I asked to interview him. Jason! Jason, get over here. I'll call my mom. No, I was like, I'm not kidding. I saw him. Will you sign my Bentley? I have a Ferrari, you know. Yeah, you sign these? Yeah. I hope you have an hour and a half. An hour and a half to get across them. Mountains. Anyway. Mountains. Chesticles. The other big movie coming out today, Prince of Persia, The Sands of Time. That's Jake Gyllenhaal's movie, who I also haven't heard good things about. Really? It looks like Aladdin. Yeah, it does. It does. It's a video game. It does.
I feel like Jake Gyllenhaal did that movie like 10 years ago. What else? Some smaller ones. Agora, Kites, Micmacs. Can't wait to see Agora. Yeah, the big ones are Sex and the City and Prince of Persia. Micmacs? Is there anything worse than a paper cut? I have a paper cut on my knuckle. I got one the other day too. So every time I move it, move my knuckle, is there anything worse than a paper cut? Yeah, maybe like an actual wound. I don't know anything about that. Biting your tongue to where it bleeds like I did last night. I know something worse than a paper cut. What? A pimple in your nose. Oh. Is there anything worse than it? Have you ever tried to pop one of those? Oh, you can't. It's not hard. No, because I'll tell you why. Because my eyes start to pour tears and I'm crying. As soon as I touch it, my eyes fill up with water so I can never do it. You know what else is worse? Vomiting. Vomiting's bad. Vomiting's worse. For sure. How about the little hangnail that gets on the side, a little piece of skin that you catch on everything every time you put your hand in your pocket? Doesn't bother me. How about the one in your toenail when you put your socks on, put your shoes on, and you got that little piece of hard nail sticking out of the side of here? What about when you bite your nail down so low that it's exposed and everything you touch, you're like, ah! How about you don't bite your nails? Or that happens to me when I'm clipping them and you clip too close.
I went and got a pedicure yesterday. So did Woods. Ah, really? Nice job, Mike. Easy facialist. Easy facialist. Let's do a facial count. How many facials have you had? I've had probably seven. Zero. So there you go. I got a pedicure and I was sitting in the chair and the girl cut my cuticle and was bleeding. And then how do they, you know, because I'm like, be brave. Don't freak out. Just be cool. Blood is gushing down my toe. And they play it off like it's not there. Like, I don't know. But I'm like, I'm looking at it. And then they put alcohol on to make it better. I'm so sorry. I'm like, ah! I cut your nail. That's the worst. I cut your nail. That's right. I'm so sorry. Let me tell you something. You're so pretty. You look like model. You look like model. Thank you. You cheerleader. So, Woodsy and I, and I'm going to throw Jay into the bus, too, because he was in on it. What? I'm going to wait. You have to say it now. You have to say it now. Something that I did? No, you suggested that we do something as a group. Oh, yeah. I still am totally for it.
And somebody was totally in on it. I'm not going to say his name. His initials are Stephen Woods. I don't know what you're talking about. Manny Petty. Not Manny's. Oh, dude. Petty's. You police. Petty's. Sienna goes, what if we go get Manny Petties? Woods goes, I'm in. Did I? She went even out of her. I'm in. We always go out on Wednesdays and go get lunch. And usually we switch off on who picks where we go. And I was like, well, what about on my day? We just go get some pedicures, guys. Petties. No, you could get Manny's there, too. I'm not getting a Manny, dude. I'll get a Pettie. I never get a Manny. I wear flip-flops a lot now. I live in San Diego. Is it really that much more masculine, by the way? No, but my feet look like a... He's like, hey, dude. It's a petty. Yeah, I wouldn't get a manny. I wouldn't get a petty, right? My feet look like a bull weevil gnarled on them, dude. It's like a donkey hoof. Look, they're nasty. Ew, ow. Let me see. They're gross. Mine are nice and petty. I can't lift my leg that high. You know that. Might fall over. Sharp shorts, pal. Thanks, buddy. That looks good. Yeah, they're nasty. Okay. Oh, you know what else is bad? The canker sore inside the cheek. I get them on my tongue. Lack of sleep. Weird. It's the worst.
I got a paper cut one time under my fingernail. Like, under. You guys got any of these, by the way? Ingrown hair. What do you got, Danny? Oh, yeah. Try dipping snuff with that. Oh, yeah. Ingrown hair. Ingrown hair. Oh, I just remembered one. I used to, when we do movie premieres, I would hand out the posters at the end. You know, the big size posters. We'd have stacks of them, and I would hand them out to people. Somebody came by and grabbed a giant poster and pulled the whole thing between my fingers. It almost cut half my hand. The webbing. The webbing in between there. I swear. The webbing paper cut. I could have gotten a couple stitches. It was so deep. Jay, did you kill them? I just cried. I would be yelling. You ever do that to have a webbing on the feet kind of deal? No, I'm not cutting my webbing. I watched on, what was that show? Jackass. They gave paper cuts. Oh, yeah. On the nipples. How about this? They did the corners of the mouth. How about when you don't wear underwear like I don't and every once in a while a zipper accident happens? Jay, way too much information. Have you done that? Oh, yeah. Oh, I've zipped the boys in there. I almost did it the other day. I've never done that. I went commando like Wednesday with these. Granted, all my pants are elastic, but you know. You don't know whether to go up or down with a zipper at that point. You're like, do I go? No, nope. Just like something about Mary. Do you? I have. What's that bubble? I have.
Do you, do you, wait a minute. What is the proper procedure? It depends. Just as hard as you can. Band-aid bit. Take it off like a band-aid. Is that what you did? I did. It was just like, I was like, I didn't know what to do. And so you just. Yep. Just. Hey. Well, you can't drive to the ER. No. That's the worst. When girls shave their legs, this is one that we do. All the time when we're first learning, you get the bone right on your shin. Really? It's not just girls. Well, if you're a man that shaves your legs. But you're going real quick and the bone sticks out. And when you get right on there, it's like. Oh my gosh. Didn't you guys do that, girls? Oh yeah, that was like the number one mistake. You would shave like the shin bone? Yeah, because if you feel the top of your shin, you have that bone there that sticks out. If there's guys like me that shave their head. You do the, you know, you're shaving your head and you do the nick across the top of your ear. You slice it right off and there's nothing that likes to bleed more than the top of an ear. Do you use one of those razors with like 15 blades in it? The Fusion. Okay, 15 blades. You ever reach in your dop kit? I've reached in my dop kit before and...
grabbed the razor with my finger and it stuck to my finger and all the blades went into my finger and it had like, it looked like fish gills. Are you kidding me? It hurts. It looked like fish gills. I've gotten the fish gills. You know what I cut myself on one time that was awful? You ever seen those little pill cutters where you cut your medication in half because you're not supposed to take a whole pill? Yeah. I had one of those little pill cutters. It's basically a blade. But I grabbed onto it, you know, thinking I was grabbing the... soft plastic part, and just my whole thumb went right into it. It's the worst. It's the worst. But webbing... How gross is that word, webbing? Yeah, it's the worst one. 570-1949 if you have good ones. I don't know why I like to be ooged out by it, but I actually enjoy the sensation of being ooged out by this stuff. Go ahead. Oh, I thought you were going to say you enjoy the sensation of the feeling. Oh, no, no, no. I got another one. What? And women probably don't know what this is, but every man in here. How about chafe? Chafe? Chafe. What do you mean chafe? I don't know. Really? Wait, I'll look it up. You ever go to Disneyland? Six Flags? You don't know what chafing is? Mike, right here. I've heard that word a billion times. It's like a rash. It's like a rash. It's a rash? It's like a butt rash. You get it on the bottom? Yeah. On the bottom of what? Your butt.
What? Chafe. You guys know what chafe is? Yeah. It says, it says the definition is graze, rub against, gall, scrape, scratch. Yep. And you have to, you end up walking to your car like this at the end of the day. Wait, why do you? How do you get that? Okay, like, let's say you go, let's say you go to like in Dallas with Six Flags. So my buddy Kevin and I used to be like, all right, dude, we're going to Six Flags today. I'm going to go in my bathroom. You go in yours. Take care of business. A little powder. Powder it up. Gold bond. You gold bond it up, dude. You get ready to go. Right. And inevitably, by the end of the day, you're like, all right, dude. Let's go. Let's go. I got a red alert. I got a red alert. I got a red alert. I saw the way Woods was walking. We always called it Monkey B. Yeah, Monkey B. Dude. I have never heard that. Ask Todd. He gets it. Guaranteed. Oh, I'm sure if he does, everyone else in his room agrees. When I went to Petco that day for the M1 baseball game, that's probably why I left early. Dude, we got there. We parked on the opposite side. By the time we got to our seats, I was like, it's burning. It's burning. It's burning. It's burning. I was like, honey, do you have any lotions or powders in your purse? She's like, no, you're done. You're like gold bond medicated powder. Do you have any of that? She actually will carry a little one around for me. You should carry like a little diaper rash thing. You know what I mean? Oh, dude, I had somebody recommended this. It's called butt paste. Yeah, we had butt paste for Luke and Ryan. Yeah, I had it.
You did? Yes. I got such bad shape. Is it meant for infants? Yes. Now, not to get too specific, but I'm guessing this happens because your jeans or your fabric or your legs, your fat legs. Rubbing. Yeah, because I know people that put it on their thighs. Sweat and sweat. And it starts to burn. And you're literally like, all right, I'm going to take off. I have very thick Mexican elephant skin. So that doesn't happen to me. It's very thick. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. 570-1949 is our number. Let's see. M1, Chris from La Jolla. How's it going? So, you know the tinfoil boxes with the, like, serrated edge on the side? Marty, me too. And you know how you have a drawer with, like, four different types of things like wax paper and saran wrap? Yes, yes. Yep, yep, yep. Okay, so take the tinfoil box. Just make sure that when you stick it back in the drawer that none of the other ones are exposed and you don't slice your knuckle open. Oh! For sure. For sure. You know, you just reminded me of one. How about when you're getting the, and this is a roommate thing. This will always be a roommate thing. How about when you're getting the silverware out of the dishwasher and your roommate puts one of them the wrong way and you don't see it and you're going to take the silverware out and you're like, ah, because there's a knife turned upside down or whatever. How about you look at what you're doing? I've never unloaded the dishwasher once.
What about when you're cleaning your ears with the Q-tips and the Q-tip goes in just a little too far? Just a little too far? I'm never going to forget. I'm going to knock on wood because I've been pretty lucky with Q-tips. My mom, I'm never going to forget when I was little, sitting in my mom's room and she was cleaning out her ears with a Q-tip and the phone rang and she wasn't paying attention. She was looking at me, went to answer the phone and it was on the same ear that the Q-tip was sticking out of. Oh my gosh, no. She was like, It's the worst. Yeah, imagine. I've hit it against a wall because I do, of course, I'm a clown and I leave them in my ears and I'm like, I've like turned and hit the wall with one of them and like went to a knee. Oh my gosh. You think you lost your hearing. You're like, I'm done. I'm never going to hear again. Did you have to go? Did your mom have to go? No, usually it just scares the heck out of you. You fight it off for a while. And then you're like, oh gosh. And you feel real weird for like an hour and then you're over it. Oh, by the way. If you're lucky.
Totally off topic, but if I don't mention it right now, I'll never remember to. I mentioned it to Danny this morning when we were walking up. Note to self, don't leave your wetsuit soaked with seawater in your trunk on hot days for about three days in a row. I can't believe you didn't hang it up. Got in my car yesterday and went... Tell them about what you said when you called me. I said it was like the scene in Goodfellas. When Henry's like, go away. Get away, Karen. Get the kids away from me or I hit a skunk. What is that? Awful. Was that the worst smell you've ever smelt in your life? It was up there. It was up there. I got in the car and I thought it was the towels. Because I had towels in the back seat that I had used at the beach. And I'm like, oh my gosh, those towels stink. So I got the towels out of the car. Woodsy goes, don't forget your surf booties. I'm like, that's what it is. Took those out. Got in the next day. I'm like, what is that? I couldn't find it. I look everywhere. I can't find it. So yesterday, I'm like, I got to get my golf clubs, put my golf clubs in the trunk. Open up the trunk and go, oh, oh, oh. Dead man back there. There's a dead guy back there. It's my wetsuit. And it's been in there now for like three days in the hot sun. Baking. With seawater in it. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, there needs to be a little manual or pamphlet on like. Warning. Yeah. For.
surfers, just stuff you should know. L.O.B. had told me, Woods, your booties are going to... That's so gross. But your booties are going to stink. And I was like, ah, really? The other day, I took them out of my trunk and I put my face to them. I was like... It's awful. It's the nastiest smell. Awful. It doesn't stink. I don't know why that is. Oh, never mind. Yes! Danny got dumped! Danny got his first one! Danny got his first one! Congratulations. You took your first one like a man. Mad at you? I'm not mad at you. I'm proud of you. I love it. That's fantastic. Danny just got the button. That's fantastic. So cute. And just like Woodsy, it's always like, you can't say that? I can't say that? You can't say that? I have the car makers with the best reputations. So is your car one of them? We'll tell you next. You're listening to The Mikey Show. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9.
The service is hard to beat. Memorial Day is here. Celebrate by coming into DCH Honda of Lemon Grove for our red hot deals. Like the impressive 2010 Honda Civic Sedan LX Automatic with a lease payment of $69 a month plus tax. Just $69 a month for a brand new Civic Sedan LX on approved credit. And remember, at DCH, every customer gets our VIP $20 oil changes. Learn more at dchhondaoflemongrove.com. That's dchhondaoflemongrove.com. Or call 1-800-HONDA-GROVE. DCH Honda of Lemon Grove is located off the 94 on Lemon Grove Avenue. 2010 Honda Civic Sedan LX Automatic. $69 per month plus tax. 27 months. $3,999 drive-off. No security deposit. 27,000 miles total for lease. 15 cents per excess mile. Must qualify with above average credit. Expires 5-31-2010. He has served as best man to grooms he's never met. He strongly abides by the motto, Safety Third. If he were to build a garden maze, it would be responsible for more missing persons than the Bermuda Triangle. Were he to say something costs an arm and a leg, it would. His to-do lists have won Pulitzers. Even watching him sleep has been described as breathtaking. He's never needed lip balm. He went to a psychic once to warn her. Most interesting man in the world. Always drink beer when I do.
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Start the summer off with a bang. The Home Depot has made a special buy on Kingsford Charcoal. Two 20-pound bags are now just $9.97. That's about six bucks off the old price. Mix the unbeatable savings with this easy-to-light, longer-burning charcoal, and you're going to have one lonely oven on your hands this Memorial Day weekend. Thanks to a special buy on Kingsford Charcoal. Two 20-pound bags, now just $9.97. More saving, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. Through June 2nd, U.S. only. See store for details. Welcome to the REI Anniversary Sale. How may I help you? Hi, I'm looking for a towing kind of... Novara Afterburner trailer bike? Exactly. And a pair of men's waterproof... Bass Wasatch GTX hiking boots? Yes. And, uh... Marmot Sawtooth Plus 15 Degree Sleeping Bag. You guys are amazing. We know what you need because we know what you love. Come to our biggest sale of the year, the REI Anniversary Sale, and save up to 30%. Members get 20% off one full-price item.
Exclusions apply. REI. Find out. Visit REI in San Diego, Encinitas, and Chula Vista, or shop REI.com. Relationships can last a lifetime, like those between people who work and serve together, and even between member and credit union. A relationship with Navy Federal can see cars and homes financed. It can last through deployment with programs designed for active duty through retirement and beyond. It's a relationship between a member with specific needs and a credit union designed to meet them. Navy Federal Credit Union. We serve where you serve. Navyfederal.org, equal housing lender. Right now, lease a well-equipped Mini Cooper Hiretouffer Clubman for just $249 a month with 36 months during the Motoring Madness event through June 30th. For details, visit miniusa.com slash info. This report brought to you by Turtle Wax. Make sure your car is ready for spring for a limited time. Find great deals on select Turtle Wax ice car care products at your favorite retailer. Plus get awesome car care tips at TurtleWax.com. Turtle Wax, making life shine. Ooh, not shining so much in Vista on the 78 westbound ramp to Emerald Drive. We got a disabled tractor trailer. The number three lanes blocked of that off ramp.
It's a full trailer. Big load. They can't seem to move it. They do have a couple of trucks trying to hook up this vehicle. On the 56 westbound between Carmel Country Road and the 5, pretty slow right now. And Encinitas is block 2 on that 5 southbound between La Costa Avenue and Loma Santa Fe Drive. This report brought to you by Wawanese Insurance. Wawanese Insurance. Better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto, home, or your condo. Call 877-WA-WANESA. Or go to wawaneseus.com, rate shopping, it can pay off. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego, Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of the Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Kids picking music today. Doing some metal. Kiss. Welcome back. Hey, if you want to call us, you can. Our number here is 570-1949. And if you want, you can also text us. You just text 949mikey at gmail.com. So we have the car makers with the best reputations. I'm going to take it. Can I take a guess? Yeah. I would think that it would be the Japanese companies. Not Toyota, obviously, because they've been in a lot of trouble, but probably Honda. Yeah. That's not racist. That's not racist. Toyota's been in trouble. Who? Honda? Nissan? Yep.
Maybach. Maybach. I am going to guess. Right now you have two of the top three. Hyundai. Hyundai. Hyundai's on the top ten. It's in the top ten. Who am I missing? Rolls Royce. Moron. Of course. Why didn't you guess that? Aston Martin. Aston Martin. That's my middle name, Aston. Weird. I don't know. Listen. No offense. I don't think there's going to be a lot of American companies on there. Yeah, no. Okay. I'm going to start with number one since you guessed it. Honda. Yeah. Ford. Oh, nice. Number two. Built Ford tough, kid. Yep. That's encouraging. Family business. That's encouraging. Now, this was a survey conducted over 1,700 interviews. Best reputations. Yeah. So they haven't gotten a lot of people going, oh, this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong. Honda has 71% customer commitment and 73% quality commitment. Nice. Yeah. So Honda, Ford. Number three, Nissan, which you guessed. Chevy, Chevrolet. Really? Toyota. Yeah. Number five. Yeah. Hyundai. Mm-hmm. And Chrysler. Really? Yeah, those were the tops. Dude, you forgot about Bavarian Motor Works. Okay? Yeah. Is BMW on there? You forgot about it. Nope. This is the top seven. Hey, dude, you might try checking out some of the German brands, okay? The Germans are great. Yeah. Great automakers. They really are.
Mercedes is great, but it's not nearly as good as Bavarian Motor Works. You know that. You know that. It's great. Let's see. Oh, the following is a true story. The following is my friend Woods. Okay, this has got to be bad because he's turning away. I know it's going to get hammered for this. Hammered. You know what I want to do? I want to copy and paste it and just put it on our website because when I read it. I just stared at the paper. What did you do? Does that have something to do with surfing? Uh-uh. Oh, hardly. Yesterday, Woods' wife Jamie and my wife took my son to Disneyland. Took Jake to Disneyland. Yep. And Woodsy says that when Jamie got home, they were hanging out and they were playing with the dogs. He has five little Yorkies. Four little Yorkies. In a lab. In a lab. Four little tiny, if you don't know what Yorkies are, they're the cutest little dogs. The smallest dogs possible. Can you name them?
Penny Bell. Yep. Lucky. Yep. Sunny. Yep. And Honey. No. I know it. Savannah. Savannah. And? The lab is Shooter. Yep. Okay. So she gets home. That was... You guys just had a bromance moment. Thank you. You just had a bromance moment. I was like, I don't know. She gets home and he asks her, what would we do if... God forbid something happened to their oldest dog, Penny Bell. Okay, because she's the oldest one. How old is she? Seven. Oh, you still got time. I know. Jamie said something about a friend of her mom's stuffing their dog. And Wood says, done. When Penny Bell dies. Like, how do I respond to this? I know it. I know it. How do I respond to this? Take it in. Take it in. Take it in. Take it in. Take it in. Take it in. Take it in. Take it in. Take it in. Okay. Like. Woods is going to stuff Penny Bell when she dies. This is not possible. And he's going to, and he's like a taxidermist. And you'll see like. A frozen dog sitting on the mantle. Sitting on the mantle. They're going to stuff Penny Bell. He says. Oh my gosh. That's our angel. Can you imagine going over to Woodsy's house?
And maybe you're new. You've never been over before. This is legit. I just Googled it. Yeah. You walk in and you walk into the living room and you go. Oh, and the person goes, oh, my goodness. What is that? And Woods goes, oh, that's Penny Bell. That's our dearest. That's our dearest dog. She passed on. She passed on four years ago. She passed on. But we still have her. She just has little button eyes now. You know? And you can call her, but she won't come. Come on. No, no, she won't come. He's going to stuff his dog. Oh, my gosh. What are you going to do when Grandma dies? Are you going to stuff her and put her in another room, too? He's going to have a little... How do... Okay, okay, okay. So many questions, but... First of all, I'm picturing a Sobbing Woods going into the taxidermist. And the taxidermist is like... What? What? And he's like, can you please? Can you please? And then Woods will have to say, so when should I come back? And the person will say, you know, Tuesday, maybe looking at Wednesday. If things get real busy, it might not be till Monday. Then Woods comes back on Monday. Do you accept credit card? You accept credit card? Woods, you can't do that. Like, you're not saying anything. Is this really? Are you going to do it? I'm good.
Do you know that it's weird? Yeah, I know it's weird. He's going to do it. And you're going to keep it on the mantle? Excuse me. Or in your bed. Let me continue it. We're going to use it for a doorstop. Wait, wait, wait. Let me continue to paint this picture. So it goes back on Monday. Except the new Penny Bell. Can you insert barking noises? Like you squeeze it. He has to put Penny Bell in the passenger seat. Probably put the seatbelt on. Yeah. Maybe in a crate. In a crate. In a crate. Put her in a crate. Give her a treat. He probably don't even own a crate. Put her in a crate. Put a little thing of water and a little milk bone. A little Began strip. Penny Bell will probably go in your lap. Began strip. She's an angel. And then he'd go get home and put her on the mantle. Oh. This is...
This is like a huge deal. I want to look into pricing. Okay, Mike, I didn't believe you when you first said that. So the first thing I did was went to Google. Stuffing your dog. I just emailed you. I don't know what it could be, but it's a video of a taxidermy place that like stuffed a dog. No, go to your email. I sent it to you. Oh, you did? Yeah. And I don't have audio on my computer, but I don't, I mean, it could be awful. But I was like, what is this? I hope there's nothing. It's on YouTube. Bad. How to stuff your effing dog. You listen to me, GD. We're going to stuff this effing thing. Is this a commercial? No, it's National Geographic showing, oh my gosh. Are they doing it? Turn it up. That's right. Lost a loved one. It's as high as it'll go.
And assure them that it's going to be handled properly. Today, that family pet is a freshly deceased rabbit. The owner of Carlos Barreto. You told me to put it in the refrigerator. No, I told you to put it. No, no, no. What? What I told you was, I told you to put it in an all-clad pan with some garlic and wine. That's what I told you. It's a rabbit. It's a rabbit. Do you have a name for him? His name was Thumper. Okay. His name was Thumper. They're taking Thumper out of the box. By the way, Thumper is as hard as a rock. He's frozen. My daughter's five and doesn't know yet, so I want to get it done. You're going to give it to your five-year-old daughter? It's going to terrify her. Uh-huh. What happened to Thumper? Yeah, why is Thumper sitting up on a stool? That's what happens when you freeze him. Oh, my gosh. The kind of position you want him in. I'm hopping. On a... Skis. I want Thumper to be on skis. Put her on a treadmill. Whatever, you know, the design is on a treadmill. I want Thumper's front paws reaching out like she wants a hug. Yeah, that's what I want. See, nothing wrong with it. He slept a lot, so I like him sleeping. Of course. Sure he would, sweetly. That would be fine. No, it won't. The challenge for the taxidermist is to figure out if the person's crazy or not. Really? Yeah. Put the appearance of life into a lifeless body.
We offer him. What just do you mean? See? No way. I'm not the only one. I didn't just invent this. Oh, my. We already know. We already know how we're going to have her, too. How? She sleeps. When she sleeps, she sleeps in a circle. We call it her cinnamon roll. So we're like, oh, look, she's in a cinnamon roll. So we're going to have her in a little cinnamon roll. Oh, yeah. Crickets. Crickets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's going to be in her little cinnamon roll. What? This is nice. Yeah, what's wrong with it? This is great. He's going to do it. He's going to do it. We're going to do it. I'd be afraid she'd come alive at night and come try to kill you. We'd love that. We'd love that. She'd come and kill you. I can't believe this is even an option that's offered. It seems so sick. It's our baby. It's our firstborn. M1 Chris. Hi. I just wanted to bring up an interesting problem as I was listening to that. We had a dog for 14 years, about two years ago, that got sick. We've given a lot of thought to this because we had a prior dog that we had to put down.
I don't think my wife ever forgave me for that. Nope. What we did is we wound up keeping the dog there up to the point where she became immobilized. We had a feeder with a turkey baster. This is like Marley and me. It's sad, like Marley and me. And so then the dog finally expired, and we realized that we had a problem because you can't take it to a vet because you'd be considered a criminal. You can't bury it in your backyard because it's illegal. Sorry, I'm a little upset thinking about it. Oh, no. So, fortunately, my mom in Del Mar. so we could bury it in her backyard, and we had to go into stuff at night, and we buried her under a tree. Wait a minute, though. Did you ever consider this, what Woodsy's going to do? No. Would you do it now? He didn't know it existed. He's like, as crushed as I am, no. That's one thing that we did not consider doing. Did you hear him get choked up about his dog? Of course. No, that's how I am. I love my dog. Of course. Penny's been through. When we think about how long we've had her, And everything she's been through with us, it's our child. It's our kid. That's our kid. Okay, if you're a child, God forbid something happened to your child, you would not stuff the child. No, of course you wouldn't. That's a human being. You don't stuff humans, but you do stuff animals. Where will you put her? I don't know. You do stuff animals. No, no, I want to know. You ever see a deer head on a wall? Where will you put her? How about a stuffed bobcat? Where will you put her? Probably. Oh, my gosh. I don't know. We got to figure that out. Well, I think, yes, I'm thinking about it. That's right.
Yeah, there's a stuffed terrier dog head on the wall. That's weird, but we'll do the whole body. This is not right. Where will he put it? Her. Up on a little shelf. Up on a little shelf. Up on a little pedestal. Would you pet her? No, probably not. All right, would you think this is weird? What if we cremated her and kept her ashes? Okay. That's not weird. I don't think that's weird. A little baby yarn. No, my grandma did that with her dog. She did? That dog to us is like, that's it. When Jamie was sick, Penny, right there. I understand. Right here. Penny's, that's it. I'm going to cry. Wait, why can't you? You're not. He said that you can't bury your dog in your yard. I guess you probably can't go out and dig a hole and stick a dog in it. Yeah, what was he talking about when he said that he was in trouble for something? You're not supposed to bury your dogs. If you go to the... pet place, wherever, and a veterinarian, and they know your dog's passing. They're supposed to keep it, and you pay a fee to have them. Why can't you bury it in your yard? I've done it. I think there's maybe a size limit or something like that. I've got to tell you, the ground is so hard around here. When I first moved here, we had a dog that passed away, and I dug in that yard, and I thought I was going to die myself. I think when people have kids, obviously your kid takes precedent over your pet. We don't have kids.
For us, I mean, yeah, we're psychos. There's no question. Like, I'm fully admitting we are hardcore, full-bore lunatics about our animals. French as his dogs. Yeah, yeah, I'll French my dogs from time to time. He does. The dog will lick his mouth. He opens his mouth. Yeah. They're angels. They're my angels. It's like something about Mary. It's disgusting. Magda. He'll do this. He'll go. And she licks his lips. And I said to him, I go, Woodsy, come on now. How do you do that? And he goes, my baby. Yeah, it's my baby. He does. I'll let Penny drink water out of my mouth. How about that? Write that down. Someone needs to write that down. Lauren's not here. So we're in the car. We're driving. Wait, Woods, what? Listen, listen. Don't just skim past that. Listen, I'm going to tell you how. Okay. So we were in the car on a road trip, and she was thirsty. And we didn't want to stop, so I go like this.
Got my bottle of water. You know what else she licks, right? Oh, my gosh. Drank right out of my mouth. Yeah. She's licking other things. She needed a drink. But she just finished licking. No, she didn't. She doesn't do that. She licks the other dogs. Dogs sniff each other's. She's very solo. She's very solo. Would you let your other dogs do that? She's very solo. You play favorites so badly. Well, she's the firstborn. We've got people calling that are going to stuff theirs, too. Good. No way. You've inspired me. Good. I'm glad. M1 Baby Kitten from SD. Hey, Mikey. Hey, everyone. Hi. Hey, Baby Kitten. Hi. This is Catherine. That's M1 Baby Kitten. Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm fine. How are you? I'm great. Well, I just wanted to call in and say that... I have cats, obviously, baby kitten, weird. There you go. And I want to kind of get them stuffed too. That a girl. Yeah. What will you do with your baby kittens? Yeah, where are you going to put it? Well, I would probably get them posed like, you know, I've got my big cat, Ajax. He's a big 15-pound Maine Coon Tabby, and he's my lover boy. My lover boy. Mikey is in a position right now, like a pterodactyl attacking.
And the other ones, I don't know how I'd get them posed. But I know just Ajax, I'd probably give them just kind of pose all sleeping, all cute and everything. I love it. That's my little baby. That's my baby. She's going to get her cat stuff. And also, as far as, you know, it would be a hard time because the dog's in his mouth. True story, cats and dogs' mouths are not only cleaner than them. Thank you, Ellie. We've all heard that. It's a good bit. How do they know? It's a good bit. Do they operate in there? Do you French your wife? Do you French your wife? Ritzy. Do you French your wife? Human being. Do you French your wife? No. No, I don't. How do you like that? Really? Yes. Okay. Your wife's mouth is more filthy than your cat's. How do they know? Think about that. How do they know that pets are colorblind? How do they know that? They put a man on the moon. You don't think they know this, pal? You mean at the Institute of Dog Mouth Germs? Yes. Really? I'm so creeped out. Oh, my God. That's the greatest thing I've ever heard. The gift that keeps on getting. And Jamie just texted in that said, because they're listening at home, and she said Penny is staring at her right now.
Probably scared to death. Yeah. Why are you going to stuff me? Why are you going to stuff me? No, I'm talking about her going away. Yeah. I love you, little angel. Oh, wow. Daddy will see you tomorrow. Okay. Let's just talk to his dog through the radio. Okay. What is happening? No big deal. No big deal. Nothing wrong with that at all. You guys want to know about the crime fighting nun? Me too. So we'll do that next. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Driving an Infiniti is unlike driving any other luxury car in the world. It is, in a word, inspired. Consider the 328 horsepower G Sedan. While it seats up to five, you'd swear you're driving a performance coupe. Speaking of coupes, the Infiniti G37. is considered by many to be the most beautiful coupe on the road. While the G Convertible offers the world's most advanced open-air sound system. All three boast the most powerful standard engines in their class. With Infinity V-Vel technology that generates more power, it uses less fuel. This is inspired performance. This is the way of Infinity. Feel it in the redesigned G-Line.
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And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I think Nickelback may be cooler than Dodgley. Lauren. We all like the change. Woods. I buy sticker price for everything. I cannot negotiate. At all. Sienna. Those are nutty bars? Yeah. Those are the best. I was the guy most voted most likely to snap on FM 94.9. Know that? You know that? You know that? Mean. That's great. Can I just tell you that Mexican Spaghetti is on? Yeah! In fact, whatever our next meet and greet is, Mexican Spaghetti is going to be the theme. And Jared... who is our graphic designer, is going to design t-shirts. Yes. For it. I bet they are going to be amazing. You know they will. If you would like to hire Jared, go to createyourdesignonline.com. The official graphic designer of The Mikey Show. The most incredible work I've ever seen. Guy's great. And here's the deal. You want high-end design? You want to do printing for...
The masses, he's your guy. He's got a business starter pack. It's $150 that gives you a logo design, business card design, and 1,000 business cards. We're going to need him to do that for us because we don't have any business cards. I know it. Like, I really need some. I do, too. I wouldn't have got turned down doing my kid bit yesterday if I had some legit business cards. I don't want one that just says dynamic on it. Maybe I give you guys a crayon and you guys design one yourself. I love that. Get some notebook paper. Write your names on it. Write your phone number. You don't have any scissors? I want the Mikey Show arms on a business card, you know? There you go. Cool. Brown noser. Create. Well, that's our little image. Mikey, I want your face on mine. No, it's the image. Ooh, I like that. The arms, yeah. See, I thought what you meant when you first said it, I thought you meant like... Little pterodactyl. No, like what you see. Hey, how are you? No, I want the arms and to say the Mikey show in the background maybe. And then to say my name and what I do and my email. Like it. I like that. What do we do? What do you tell people when they ask you what you do? Talk show host. Radio personality. See, I feel like a clown when I say radio personality. But that's what you are. But talent. Am I? Talent. That sounds better. They'll say, what kind of talent?
Met somebody from out of town that my brother brought that was a friend. She was the sister of a friend of my brother's. Okay. Didn't know what I did. And said, what do you do for a living? I said, I'm a talk show host. And she goes, what do you, really, what do you do? Really? Yeah. I'm like, that is what I do. Yeah. I feel like it, I feel kind of like an A. I'm a masseuse. I feel kind of like an A-hole though. And I'm like. I'm a radio personality. I feel like a douche. You can't say you're a DJ. That doesn't work. You can't say you're a DJ. Can I? No. You're not a DJ. DJs, we play music. I just played music. You're not Moby. I just played Rock Candy by Montrose. Yeah, but you're not like Chemical Ali. You can't talk up the ramps like Michael Shannon. Nobody can, but... All right. Well, let's agree on something. We'll think about it. Tell me about the crime-fighting nun. Oh, Sister Lynn. Sister Lynn? Sister Waverly. My sister Waverly came over yesterday, last night, and Todd was telling her how we talk about her on the air, and she has the voice like me, and we call her sister Waverly. She had no idea. Really? I was like, thanks for listening, Waverly. Yeah. FM9 for 9 on your dial. I listen to Jeff and Jerry. Yeah. I don't listen to you guys. I wouldn't know.
What channel are you on anyway? Channel 933. Thanks, Waverly. She's like, oh, you talk about me? Now maybe she will listen. Hi, Waverly. It's me. She's waiting for you to talk about Sister Lynn, the crime-fighting nun. I know. So Sister Lynn is a principal, a nun principal at a Pittsburgh school. And one of the preschool teachers at the school went and got her and said, look, there's a man who just took a wallet out of a purse in an unlocked car. Right. So what is... Sister Lynn do. She took a ruler and slapped his knuckles. No, she walked out in the hall. She grabbed the guy. Not grabbed him, but she found the guy. And this is what she said to him. You need to give me what you have. He's like, hell yeah. Gross. Weird. Gross. So weird. You're being inappropriate. So weird. He's like, I thought you didn't do that. Yeah, I've seen adult films with nuns in them like that, Mikey. It's not that weird. Got weird. You're being inappropriate. No, she said, that's what I say to children if they have something that they shouldn't. You need to give me what you have, she says. What does he do? He stops, gives it to her, apologizes, and walks away calmly. Scared to death. He walks away calmly.
Have you ever been to a school where it was real harsh discipline? Dude, I went to Catholic college and Catholic. I went to Baptist school when I was younger where we used to get paddled. And I remember I told you I found 50 cents in the Coke machine. And I took it and put it in my pocket. And I got a paddle for that. How did they find out? Because I stole it. How did they find out? Maybe bragged to some people like I just pulled off a big heist or something. And they told them? Yeah, and they told them. You've got to be a loud speaker. Somebody tattled on me. And I got. paddled for that. And then I went to Catholic college. You know who doesn't? I'm kidding. I knew what would get you. I almost came out of my skin. I knew what would get you. And then I went to Catholic college and I may be one of the only people, and I'm not proud of this. That got paddled in college? No. I cursed. I cursed at a priest. Are you kidding me? I did. You are an awfulist. And I'm not proud of it, aren't I? But this guy, Father Noel, accused me of cheating. On a test, and I did not cheat. And he goes, well, I saw you talking. I go, I wasn't talking. He goes, get out of my classroom. And I gave him a beep, beep. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. And was like, dude. What did he do? Oh, dude, he flipped. Flipped. Go back to the 50 cents and the thing. How did that go down? Teacher comes in and says, I need to talk. How did it happen?
I was like in fourth grade, and I found it, and I looked around, and I was like, oh, score, 50 cents. Right. And I'm like, sweet, 50 cents, 50 cents. Yeah. And I was like, hey, I just found 50 cents in a Coke machine. They're like, you're not supposed to take that. You're supposed to leave it. It's not yours. I'm like, shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Told the teacher, same bit, teacher called the principal. The principal came and got me out of my class. I was like, Stephen, I need to talk to you. No way. He's like, you cannot. It was a Baptist school. Right. I mean, and they were like. You know, hey, that's stealing. I'm like, is it? I didn't pickpocket you, dude. You know, I found it. Right. He's like, sorry. That means you're stealing if you find money on the ground. Yeah. At school. But then what do you do? You give it to the principal? He's going to pocket it. You turn it in. Woodsy, how did they not like Sadia? Because I don't think that's a rule. Like, in real life, I don't think. No, I take money out of the video machines all the time. I just wonder what they, did they, so. The expectation was that you would find it there and leave it there or turn it in. Now, you're at a Chevron today. There's an envelope with $1,000 in it. What do you do? I take it in management. And listen, and my wife would go, my wife, I think anybody would say, do you think that that person is going to give it to management? I don't care. That's not my part in it. But see, that's not stealing. If you find $1,000 in an envelope? Let's say it's in a trash can.
You're filling up your car. You're cleaning out water bottles, burrito wrappers, whatever is in your car. Yeah, I call the police. Really? I'll tell you why. Maybe drug money. I'll tell you why. Because $1,000 in an envelope that I see in a trash can, somebody didn't go... Let's see. I don't need these Taco Bell wrappers anymore, and what do I need these bills of $1,000 bills for? Maybe they had the $1,000, or they won the lottery, and that was left over, and it was bad luck. Really? Maybe you were cleaning your couch out, Sienna. $1,000 in a box. What do I need this for? They could have thrown the envelope away on accident. You just put a sign up, found, lost money, and then they tell you the exact amount. Yeah, and the serial numbers. Yeah, I like Jay's idea. You tell me the serial numbers, then maybe I give you the money back. Woodsy? Yeah. You may have a new title. M1 Ron from El Cajon. Your official title is On Air Personality on San Diego's number one morning show. How do you like that? I like that a lot. On Air Personality on San Diego's number one morning show. That won't sound weird when you say it to somebody. Lauren's mom would say that for sure. Number one birds of valley on San Diego's number one radio show. We texted her and we can't find her. She's not.
She's out. She's got a day off, dude. You're kidding. She's wiling out right now. 100%. She just finished laundry. She's going to tan and then go to the gym. DTL, baby. Fist pump. That's right. Let's see. What have I not... Oh, we got an email. Should we do that? What about Gary Coleman? What's up with him? Oh, yeah, Gary Coleman. What is going on with Gary Coleman? He's in the hospital in Utah right now in critical condition. Oh, no. Now, his brother-in-law said that Gary suffered a fall and sustained a head injury in the process. Couldn't have fallen far. Really? Really? Really? Seriously? Really? How far is he going to fall? Really? Oh, my gosh. You got to applause for that? If you put it on the T, what's the kid going to do? He's going to knock it out of the park. He's going to knock it out of the park. I should have known. You were a sick, sick man. Fair enough. That guy better make it. Oh, I know. Dead man. This will be Woodsy tomorrow. I just want to say I'm so sorry. So sorry. I'm so sorry. I did that. Who did I do it to? It was Booger or whatever his name. Oh, no. It was Boner. Boner. We were all like, oh, not just me. That was his name on the TV show. That was his name. Boner. It was his name.
We were like talking about it, but we weren't talking about him. We were talking about his name. By the way, this is my inner self speaking to me right now. Really, dude, booger? I mean, Mike, why don't you figure it out before you say it on the right booger? Mike, don't say it if you don't know it. I thought Lauren wasn't here. We were just saying booger. Hey, but we were just laughing at his name, and then the guy died. I was like, oh, no. No, he went missing. But then he died. Yeah. Felt so bad for Woods, and Woods was so nice. He goes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know what? That happens a lot to us. Because we report, we continue. Because then maybe people won't know. They won't hear it. Well, and if we whisper, then it's not, it doesn't, we're not as bad. It's not as bad if I say he does that far to fall because he's really short. Okay, that's bad. Oh, is it? Because everybody heard it. And he said it. Okay, now it doesn't matter that we're whispering. It's bad. Oh, he does. It's done it as well. Gosh, I feel like I'm not terrible. He isn't critical. What you talking about, Sienna?
Really? Hey, we have to go to break. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, it's Friday. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Let's hear it from the live studio audience. Don't go away. We still got to roll that Urban Survivor one more time. If you missed that, we'll do that for you. Don't go away. It's a Mikey show. Pop it in. And turn it on. Call now. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. With up to $1,000 bonus cash on top of existing offers, now is the best time to get to your Nissan dealer. The Nissan National 10 event is going on now. We've made our vehicles dependable, safe, and award-winning. And for a limited time.
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The most interesting man in the world. Always drink beer. When I do, Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. This Memorial Day weekend, your San Diego County Ford dealer will give you an additional $1,000 bonus when you trade in any make, any model during Ford's San Diego Celathon. Choose from a huge selection of high-quality Fords. Keep the rebate. Plus, get $1,000 more for total savings up to $7,000. Or choose zero APR for 60 months, and the $1,000 trade-in bonus is still yours to keep. You may never find a better time to take home a new Mustang, Fusion, Escape, Focus, or F-150. Only through June 1st and only at your San Diego County Ford dealer. Learn more at sandiegocountyford.com.
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Cheap chicken. Bits of chicken that have been ground up and mixed with seaweed extract, soy and fat and made to look like real chicken breast. How do you think they make cheap chicken? Does the chicken they put in sandwiches make you nervous? Well, some of it should. How do you protect yourself? Insist the chicken in your sandwich is boar's head ever roast. Ever roast is fresh sliced chicken breast. The highest quality you can buy. Slow roasted the old-fashioned way. And basted in its own juices. Boar's Head Ever Roast. It may be the best roast chicken ever. Try a slice of Boar's Head premium products at select supermarkets, delis, and gourmet stores. It's Bob Baker Mazda's May Sale-a-bration sales event with 0% financing on approved credit on 010 Mazda 3s, Mazda 6s, and Mazda CX-9s. Test drive yours at BobBakerMazda.com, Car Country, Carlsbad. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm a Mexican little short guy, okay? Lauren. I'm so scared of authority, so I start crying. Woods. I don't like to be tickled because I squeal like a little girl. Sienna. Look how fair my skin is. I got freckles. Get out of here. And Jay. This is a paid gig. I'm 100% in. On FM 94.9. Woods is going with all the 80s hair metal.
And did a little Tesla, Song and Emotions, the name of the song. Never heard it? You get it, really? Right here, hold on. Tesla's great. So underrated. Oh, I love him. Saw him in concert with Bark My Almond. I saw him in concert with Duff Leppard. So good. I didn't see him in concert. You did not. They didn't open for Justin Bieber. No, they didn't. They did not. Why not? They never played with 98 Degrees. Get Tesla to open for Justin Bieber. We'll get him at my house. Are you kidding me? I bet mom would make it happen. 100. My mom knows what's going on. And Seth? Would knock it out of the park, for sure. Like, I got it. Got you. Earlier we played it, but I want to replay it for you if you missed it. Urban Survivor. I'm Mikey Grylls. I've never been a member of the British Special Forces. I barely got out of high school with a GED, and I've got no experience except for telling jokes on the radio. I will try to survive in urban situations using nothing but the company's credit card, a car, a nice one at that, my wallet.
and whatever things I can find on the internet. You're listening to Urban Survival. Right now, I'm inside of a hometown buffet. I'm walking by an icy machine. If I'm not careful, I could get a brain freeze. I'm starving, but there is only a few items I can eat. The only thing at my disposal at this moment is fried chicken, mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn niblets, meatloaf. Green beans, okra, spaghetti, ham, macaroni and cheese, pizza, carrots, and french fries and fish patties. Other than that, I could starve. On the overhead speaker right now, Fleetwood Mac, hold me. When you're out in an environment like this, you've got to take advantage of everything. That's why I'm using the song Hold Me as inspiration. I'm holding it inside my heart, and I'm letting it remind me of getting home, hugging my children. Seeing my wife, you've got to take advantage of everything. That song right now will provide me with inner nurturing. As if being starving and British in this building wasn't bad enough to make me feel awkward and different. I'm fairly certain I'm the only human being in this building under the age of 84. I'm about to wrap up my time here. There were so many decisions to make. As I look around, all the food looks delicious. I can't decide on one thing.
All I do now is that I'm here, I'm about to eat, and I'm about to get out of here as quickly as I can. I've now come across another person who's having lunch here as well. What did you have for lunch today? Oh, I had macaroni and cheese and chicken. May I ask you a question about your chicken? Yeah. Is it a fillet? What's a fillet? It's an actual cutlet, but it's more of just one single piece. Yeah, I think so. That's what I thought. I could recognize that anywhere. Thank you so much for taking the time. This is the Mikey Grills tip of the day. Many people have written in and said, how could I change the flavor, the texture, and the composure of a french fry? The best way to do it is to go to something called the grocery store. Buy a tomato-based sauce called ketchup. You can pour the ketchup onto a plate, or you can apply them right to the french fry. It changes everything. I once knew a chap that I was in the British Special Forces with. He introduced it to me, and although at the beginning it seemed quite unorthodox, and it literally changed my life. Until next time, I'm Mikey Gross. Love it. Mikey Gross. Can we peel the curtain back a little? Sure. On, you know how he says decision? Decision. And what was the other one? Delicious. Delicious. Can I tell you that when Mikey and I...
were playing golf is when we came up with a lot of that. Oh, my gosh. And when we started doing that for the next six hours, all we did was think of words that we could do that with. CB and Jay were like, all right, dude, it was funny the first five minutes. And I would look at Maggie and be like, conscience! Yeah, conscience. And we would go, and I would go, uh, Monsian. Monsian. I live in a Monsian. Precious. Yeah, she's precious. And we were like, hit the ball. Hit the ball, dude. The people behind us are waiting. Right. Of course, I get home and do it another four hours at home to Jamie. Yeah. So we'd be like teeing up and I would go, I'd be right about to hit the ball and I'd go, Woodsy, I'm so rich that I live in a Monsignor. Just hit it. Just hit the ball. The greatest. The best. The greatest. I was like, I'm going to kill somebody. 570-1949 is our number. If you want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Anybody have any appearances, anything going on this weekend that they want to hit on, you can do it. I'm going to be speaking tomorrow night at something called Detonate Night. It's happening in Carmel Valley.
And doors open at 630 if you want to go to it. It's going to be really cool. And they're going to have like a bunch of cool bands, stuff like that. And if you want more information on it, it's very easy. Just go to my Facebook page or even the fan page on Facebook. And I'll put some information on that in a little bit so you can check it out. It's going to be really cool. And again, that's tomorrow night. My testimony is different when I give it live now because I do a PowerPoint thing that's pretty cool. Awesome. And it'd be nice to see. And there's no charge for it. You get to come out and check it out. I would be making an appearance on my couch. There you go. It's brought to you by Budweiser. Yes, you will be. I don't have any appearances, but I have some buddies that I met that are in a band called One Louder. And you can go to one, the number one, louder.com. They have a gig this weekend. It's a charity event. Nice. They're doing like a fundraiser. They're great, great guys, big listeners and fans of our show. Good dudes. Very cool. At the end of the show on Fridays, I give you my testimony, tell you my story. And hopefully in telling you my story, you hear some of your own and you may be going through something similar. During the course of giving you my story, I always tell you about portions of my life that are difficult to talk about. But I always think to myself, well, I know that there are people that may have gone through the same thing or going through the same thing and are having trouble dealing with it.
If you're the type of person that people have said to you, man, you just seem so angry. I don't know why, but you just seem so angry. That has always, that had always been me. And the reason for it is because inside there was a lot of three big emotions going on. I say this a lot. I believe that anger is hurt, sadness, and fear. And if you are the type. that was like me where you were just angry a lot, it's because internally there was a lot of or is a lot of hurt, sadness, or fear. I grew up scared. The whole time I was growing up, I remember being afraid of everything. And I also remember being fiercely insecure and having very, very, very little self-esteem. And you may be able to relate to that. And as I was growing up, I would try to hide that when I would meet people. When I got to be in my 20s, drinking seemed like something that really masked all that hurt and sadness and fear. The problem with it was that it didn't. It only did it temporarily. And before I was even aware of it, I was addicted to alcohol. Now, I tell you that because...
for many of you listening, you may be in that same exact place. There may be people listening right now that feel hopeless, especially right now where we have a holiday coming up. For a lot of people, the holidays are terrible because for whatever reason, maybe you're alone right now. Maybe you're going through a divorce or maybe you're going through a breakup or maybe you are new to town and you don't have anybody. Maybe you don't have any friends. Maybe you've lost somebody. very dear in your life. And the pain from that is really, really difficult. I've been there myself and in my life have experienced extreme sadness. And in my life, I have experienced hopelessness where I didn't think that I had anything to live for. I've wanted to kill myself before because of those feelings. In 2003, I gave God the steering wheel to my life. In 2005, I started to read the Bible and it changed my life.
Not just any Bible. I read a translation called the Living Bible. I understood it for the first time. It changed everything in my life. I'm not telling you that because I'm trying to sell Bibles. I'm not telling you that because I'm trying to sell Christianity. I just, all I can do is give you my story. I just give you my story because I've experienced those things that I just talked to you about. All those things that I just told you about, I've experienced it. I've experienced eating disorders. I've experienced depression. I've experienced all of those things. If you go to Mikey show.com and you go to the very top of the page, there's a section there called help. And if you click on that, it'll give you resources that can help you out with all the different things that I talked to you about right now. But the word testimony, all it means is my story. I'm not selling you anything. I'm not trying to push anything on you. I'm just telling you my story. I'm telling you what happened in my life that gave me hope.
It changed my life. It wasn't a cure-all. It wasn't like taking a shot and it cured everything. It was not an end to dark days. It was just a torch that lit me through all those dark days. I play a song at the end of the show and I change the song up, play a few different songs. I want to do one today that I haven't done yet. I've been thinking about it. I wanted to do a different one. Kind of tossed a few ideas around of which one I wanted to do. And decided on this one. Because the words of it were meaningful to me. So hopefully you like it too. It's called Sing It Out. Have a great weekend. Have a safe weekend. The lovely and talented Hillary is up next. And hopefully you're going to continue to listen. And if you do, give her a call and say happy birthday. Because today's Hillary's birthday. Happy birthday, Hillary. We will see you again on Tuesday. We're taking Memorial Day off. The Mikey Show's out.
Like a ghost this time You gone Death in my lungs tonight