The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 06/01/11

1:02They're all messed up. And it feels nice. It feels nice. It's, to me, like having a new pair of underwear. Which, by the way, is going to be a topic today. One of the things that we'll be discussing. The difference between men and women when it comes to underwear because we just found out something. That, to me, was shocking and repulsive. And so we will discuss it in a little bit. Welcome to the show. My name is Mikey. And, you know, this program is for everybody. It is for everybody. Very specifically, the Mikey program is supposed to be geared towards your average male. If I were trying to put an age on that dude, it would be like a 33 year old guy. But the fact of the matter is, is that because we are a group of friends that hang out on the radio.

2:02It doesn't really matter what age you are as long as you enjoy the conversation. And it doesn't matter what gender you are. As long as you enjoy the conversation, you're here with us. And I find that me as a personality, just as a personality, I get along better with women. The reason is because I find I can be myself in front of them. Although I do consider myself to be a man. and would classify myself as a real man and what a real man should be, I also do not and cannot qualify myself as what most people view as a man's man. Big hog. Motorcycle, you mean? Of course. Obviously.

3:03I got me. Handyman. Not you. Not, no. Although I enjoy sports, I really only know a lot about one, and it's the NFL. You know, I like other sports, but I really only know about the NFL. That'll get you by. Yeah, it will. It's enough to be dangerous. You should see the guy in a fantasy football draft room. The guy knows his stuff. I enjoy that so much. You know your stuff in there. I love that. How'd you do this year? You were top three, weren't you? I think so. I don't remember. I think you were top three. I don't. That's good. Woodsy is one of the greatest guys I know. He's 35 years of age. He is... Who was I explaining you to, Woods? I was explaining you to a group of men in a car. Oh, wow. It was me, my friend Brandon. It was me, my friend Brandon. In the backseat was my friend John, my friend Brian, and my friend Sean. He is a good friend and a lover. That's what you said? No, that's a clip.

4:18That's a clip played out of context by Jay, our producer. Out of context? Completely out of context. Out of context. I do not consider Woods a lover. You can use that clip. When that clip was extracted, you were, in fact, speaking of Woods, however. No, not true. Yes, what you said was he was a good friend and a lover of, and I believe you said cheesecake. Yeah. But you, you, I got it. We were able to manipulate. You were manipulating my words to make it sound like Woods is a lover. Right. And he's not. We're not. Because of your cadence, you paused. Yeah. Yeah. True story. But this is what I said about Woods. I said, Woods can be like an untamed horse in the wild. Oh, yeah. I said, but imagine if that same horse. Imagine if that same horse had an extraordinarily big heart. Not like that. Not like physically big heart. I didn't mean that. That's a volleyball. I meant like a sensitive, softy person. Like the horse can't run too much or else their heart may explode? Oh my gosh. These jugs start bouncing all over the place.

5:39Don't want to hit your head again. Some sort of genetic condition, you mean? Oh, wow. And boom goes the dynamite. Six minutes in. I know. Just getting you, right? Just right away. I was talking about the mythical horse. Well, we were not. You're fat. Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. And we call her L.O.B. She is 30 years of age, blonde hair, and wearing the referee. What is that? It is a, what, cardigan? Sienna and I are both wearing our referee cardigan. Wow. Surrounded by zebra-striped ladies. It's my most comfortable sweater. I think it's very odd that you guys do that. It's so weird. Same day every time. And they obviously don't plan it, but they wear the same thing. That's so weird. It is odd. Maybe they're on the same cycles, too. Oh, my gosh. I wonder. Could be.

6:42It's so strange when that happens. Very. I don't understand. And there's something to it, clearly. There's something to it. There's bigger forces at work here. Well, we both have a few different striped things. Yeah, sure. Odds of it happening. Yeah, I have three different black and white striped tops. I think I know why. I'll say this so delicately that it won't, as a guy, gross you out. But I think I know why they sink. Why? Why women sink. Why? I have a theory. Because in the early days, God allowed men to have more than one wife. And if he wanted to populate the earth. Wow, that's good. That's why animals do it. That's freaking great. That's it. That could be it. Maybe that's it. But wouldn't it be better then if we were on different ones so that he wouldn't feel so bad ignoring one and moving on to the next? No, because it was about procreation. I think it wasn't about making. Yeah, I don't think it was about, you know, doing videos. But there was only a small window of when, there is only a small window of when women are best to procreate. So if we were all on the same cycle, there'd be like three days to get older. Yeah, guys, guys, you know, really can do that all the time. Yeah. You know, I think it's brilliant. I would never think of that. Yeah, I think guys can do that all the time. In fact.

8:04I think all one would need to do is go to any, you know, horse stud farm. What is that? No, I was trying to make a point, and then it got, you know, it sounded weird once it started. But, you know, it was... Muddled. A little, yeah, muddled, I think. Anyway, Sienna is our... News girl, she is 26 years of age. And as you know, now she's wearing the same thing that Hello Bee is. And then Jay is our producer. He's 47 years of age. And I told Jay this morning one of the things that he does is he creates. Your throne, sir? Yes, he does. He creates this thing just so that he can make the joke. He comes over. He pulls my chair out.

9:07As you're walking up. As I'm walking up so that I can sit down. Just so four months from now, he can say, you make me pull your chair out for you. And I'll go, no, I don't. And he'll go, hey, y'all, didn't he? Didn't he? We did maybe put the step stool in front of it so he could get up in the chair. Oh, wow. Let me tell you guys about the poop stool. And then we'll get on. Here's what we're going to talk about. Both me and Sienna got news flashes. on our mobile devices yesterday with breaking news about cell phones and cancer. Perfect. Okay, so we're going to talk about that. Woods has got the NBA Finals, latest on Jim Trestle. We're going to be talking about another dude from another country that has now attacked a maid in a hotel. And we got some VanderSloot stuff for you, too. Poofstool. Don't think I've ever mentioned it at this station. But I had...

10:10surgery years ago, okay? And my wife, we had this big giant, you know, we had the same bed that we have now. It's a very high bed. And the doctor said, he's really going to need help after he has this abdominal surgery getting in and out of bed. Do you have a, hopefully you have a bed that's low to the ground. And we said, no, we actually have a bed that's high up. He said, you need to get something to step up on there because it's, this is going to be tough. So she got this little stool. Little step stool. Well, one thing that I realized is that this made going potty so much better when I would sit down and put my feet on the little stool. And the only reason that... Do your feet not reach the floor? No, they do. Everyone's...

11:10Everyone's staring at me. You're admitting a lot to me. I am. I got the visual loud and clear. I'm not trying to give you a visual. I'm just, you know, but apparently I have. No, I just realized that. All right. You don't have to recreate it. I'm trying to. You don't have to recreate it. Because it may work. If your knees are higher up, maybe it helps. For me, it was a matter of comfort. It was a matter of comfort. Was it because of your surgery? It started out that way. But then later materialized. Oh, wow. Lauren's got to look like, okay, yeah. No, I'm getting it now. Okay. I have a feeling it has to do with your thighs. I don't know. Your thighs. Okay. Oh. Okay. Well, all I can tell you is that, you know, I mean, and the difference literally was day and night. Still use it? I would love to. But my wife, Rebecca, felt it was odd.

12:09Really? What she was afraid of was anyone knowing it. And, you know, which clearly isn't a problem now. Right. You can always pass off on your kids. You can say, well, Jake needs it. I think that's a great idea. And, you know, to be honest, you don't like to lie. He probably does need it. So just throw it in there just in case. Have you referred to it as the potty stool, I think? Oh, yeah. People would think, oh, yeah, they've got three kids. Yeah. Makes sense. It's a good call. So anyway, all right, well, let's move on then. The word of the day is peacock when you hear it. Caller 9 will get a pair of tickets to the sold-out Indie Jam that we're having on June 5th at the Oceanside Pier. All right, so, Sienna, tell everybody about this news that came out yesterday from the World Health Organization. Oh, boy. They're saying that radiation from cell phones can possibly cause cancer. This agency, WHO, now lists mobile phone use as the same carcinogenic hazard in the same category as lead, engine exhaust, and chloroform. They're saying that this type of radiation, which is coming out of cell phones, is called non-ionizing. It's not like an x-ray, kind of more like a low-powered microwave oven. Which means that it is... It could be cancer. Slowly.

13:35Having the same, it's slowly cooking. Yes. Slowly cooking. Yes. Now, Sienna, in the email that I wrote to you, do you recall what I said about Lauren O'Brien? I do, but I've deleted it or else I would have read it. I can tell you. Okay. It was funny. I said, Lauren will probably vomit when she hears this. And then she will undoubtedly be convinced that, her head has been cooked a bit. And that she has cancer. I have news for you. I've been on to this story for a while. Ever since the bees started dropping from the sky, I've been on to this story. Start there. You believe that the bees have something to do with the waves of the cell phones.

14:30Yeah, well, I'm not the only one. They think that some of the flight paths have been disrupted by some of the signals that have been going on. Really? Possibly. Flight paths? I don't know if that's the correct terminology. I'm not a zoologist or anything. Of the bees? Yes. So the bees are reacting a certain way because of... They're like... They're being scrambled, yeah. By cell phone. Yeah. The workers are having trouble returning to the hive. Yes, there we go. Why? Because, like, girls are texting and talking and people are talking. It's because they use, like, some kind of signal that the phone messes with. Oh, so they're on the same... They have antennas, too. Haven't you heard of them? I can buy that. Yeah. I can buy that. Can you? Yeah. Why couldn't you? It's pretty... It's plausible. I've stepped on two bees on the beach, so... It's plausible, I think. There's a lot. Think about all the cell phone waves out there. Yeah. Bees, they don't use cell phone waves. Right. But if they're flying. They don't use cell phone frequency. No, no. They're not. They're not, in fact, 2.4 gigahertz. But if they're flying, they could fly into cell phone waves and then have to divert and then go somewhere else. Right.

15:42Is that what you mean? That's what I mean. And also, I think even when the first Zach Morris phone came out, everyone was like, ah, you're going to get a tumor. So this is why I text. Is that what the big white phones were called? Yeah. Zach Morris phone. Yeah, yeah. Big, giant thing. Yeah. So I've been. Hello. Woods has his flip flop up to his ear. Some of them had carrying cases that you would carry with you. Exactly. With a cord. Rebecca was one of the first to have one because her mom worked for a company that supplied her with a couple. It's incredible. Rebecca was one of the first to have them. She was so proud of it that she would pull up. next to people at a red light and pretend to be talking on it when she wasn't talking on it. Done it. This is why when I grow up, I'm going to get a landline. Yeah, well, here's the thing. It's another reason maybe to use Bluetooth, right? Yeah, they're saying that if you are concerned like Lauren, you can pretty much eliminate any cancer risk by using a headset or an earpiece. Wired. Because if you've got the Bluetooth, it's doing the same old thing. It's true. Well, you could use a Bluetooth that doesn't connect to your ear. They have them on the visor. That as well. They have them on the visor. Yeah, that would be good. That would be good. As long as it's not right next to your head. Your temporal lobe. You're cooking, you know? Slow cook, I guess. Or just text, everybody. Text. Come on, get on board. That's a good idea, too. Cooking your brain. Woodsy? Yes, sir. What happened last night in the finals? NBA playoffs last night in Miami. LeBron James, D. Wade, they went off. 46 combined points between them.

17:11Ten rebounds from D. Wade. So, huge fourth quarter. 92-84. Heat win. And looked filthy. Well, this is the first season. Wait until they figure it out. Oh, I know, right? Wait until they start to really gel after a few years. Oh, my gosh, man. And, you know, it's one of those things we talked about when the decision, the quote-unquote decision happened, which was awful and cheesy by LeBron to do. We talked about, they better win. They better win it with that team. And they're off to a really, really, really good start. Looks like they're figuring it out. They looked phenomenal. Really? They were throwing up alley-oop dunks. LeBron was going nuts. I need to watch it. It was pretty rad. I watched it and was like, wow. The only time my dad ever watches is during the playoffs. And maybe that should be my bit, too. It's pretty cool. Because it's pretty exciting. Yeah, it's very exciting. And every shot was great. But Dirk Nowitzki, who's the Mavericks, you know. absolute stud, one of the best players in the league, tore his tendon on his guide hand. So not his shooting hand, still going to affect his play. So that's pretty interesting. And then, this is crazy, man. We talked yesterday about Jim Trestle resigning from Ohio State. Well, now the investigation has shifted to their star quarterback, Terrell Pryor. And reports are saying, this kid probably won't play next year. Why? They're saying...

18:29The things that they're uncovering about him are so bad. He's already suspended the first five games. They're saying, man, he may just cut bait and go do something else. Really? Yeah, that's what I've read. So I got this audio from Chris Spielman, who's a highly decorated alumni, played in the NFL, really good player, talking about Jim Trestle hitching his wagon to Terrell Pryor's star. Cut one. I'm not surprised. I mean, you hear things, and I believe that Coach, for whatever reason, it's mysterious to a lot of people who follow this football team, why he catered to Terrell and why there were a different set of rules for Terrell Pryor. I have no idea why. That's the big mystery to me. And the thing that's more disturbing to me is that there's not a player or a senior or a leader on that football team. that does not hear about some of the shenanigans that was going on with Terrell, and they didn't step up to stop it. I mean, eventually you've got to call him in the locker room and you say, we're fighting right now. If you don't stop, then we have to fight. And if you don't stop after that, then I'm going to the president, then I'm going to the athletic director, and I'm going to the head coach because the decisions you make on putting yourself first and being selfish has a direct effect on our team and our legacy and our championships, our rings, and our victories. So he's a selfish kid.

19:45Wow. Dude, they said there was one time they saw him come out of the locker room with shoulder pads, sign him, get a bunch of other guys to sign him, throw him in the back of his new car and take off to take those to trade him for something. I mean, it's ridiculous. It is absolutely ridiculous the stuff they're finding out about this kid. And they said Coach Trestle was just enamored. Just enamored. You know, the funny thing is, he was like that with Maurice Claret, who's in prison now. He was like that with Troy Smith, who took a lot of dough, a lot of improper benefits. And he was like that with another guy that he coached at Youngstown State that took cars and money. And he seems to hitch his wagon, you know, to the wrong guys. Question. Yeah. This is really bad. And a lot has come out that's really, really bad. Do you think? now we've kind of uncovered it all? Or do you think there's more? I think there's more, and I think there's more players involved too. But really, it's all going to shift to the quarterback, the star quarterback. One of the most highly recruited players ever was Terrell Pryor by every school in the country. And there's an article coming out June 6th in Sports Illustrated. I've read part of it today that is just damaging to Trestle, damaging to Pryor, damaging to the whole university.

21:06Everybody under Trestle. And it must really infuriate alumni because they're going, we're going to suck. And the interesting thing is, our football team is going to suck because we don't have a coach. We're not going to have our star quarterback. What is that program looking like? We may get sanctioned, as they should. I mean, if it happened to USC for something that happened five years ago, it should happen to Ohio State. Sure, of course. But, dude, it's bad getting worse right now in Columbus. So another, you know, big, big personality from another country. This one's Egyptian. is being accused of attacking a maid. The last one was this French guy that was in charge of this. The head of the International Monetary Fund was Dominique Strauss-Kahn. He was charged a little more than two weeks ago with sexually assaulting a maid in a Manhattan hotel. Now there's another man, an Egyptian businessman and former head of a major Egyptian bank. His name is Mahmoud Abdel Salam Omar. Very good. He's being held on a $25,000 bail after he was charged yesterday with sexually abusing a maid at a luxury hotel in Manhattan.

22:14As well, the hotel is the Pierre Hotel. It's in the Upper East Side. And he was charged with grabbing her and kissing her on the lips and the neck, groping her boobs and butt when she was called to his room on Sunday to drop off some tissues. Now, he is denying the charges, but he's expected to post bail. And they have listed him as a flight risk. And he's been ordered to surrender his passport. It's unusual because you would think that it would be the absolute wrong time to do something like that. Right. So it's either, you know, it's either true and ridiculously crazy. Yeah. In light of what just happened. Or she's making it up. Yeah, opportunistic made. And she's opportunistic and says, oh, well, I can get some money too by doing this. Who knows? Who knows? We'll wait and see. Timing's pretty crazy. Of course. Yeah. Vandersloot. Yoran Vandersloot, the guy accused of killing the poor Natalie Holloway back in 2005. And right now he's facing a possible trial on first degree murder and robbery charges in the killing of another girl, 21 year old Stephanie Flores in Peru. You look at him and you go.

23:28know about this guy yeah you want to you want to get him right and now his lawyer maximo altes filed papers yesterday to withdraw from the case now he said quote i cannot defend this case in the way he wants me to and he wouldn't elaborate but he has now quit over his uh defense strategy well he probably goes what am i gonna do this guy's as guilty as there's one right what do i do at least he has morals yeah well kind of Yeah, I don't even know about that. I don't think it's a moral thing. I think dude goes, I'm not going to ruin my record. Right. I got a pretty good record of winning cases. I'm going to look like I don't have a chance with this guy. I think Joran Vandersloot is just like, do it this way, do it this way. He's just, you know, a messed up kid. And this guy's like, look, no, that's not the way you're going to win. So there was a guy that was on the TV show America's Got Talent. And he decided. Well, here's the judges on America's Got Talent. You got some British guy, and that's what I call him, some British guy. SBG. All right, he's SBG, some British guy. Then you got Ozzy's wife, O.W., all right? Sharon. And then you have someone else. I call him S.E., okay? So you got someone else, you got Ozzy's wife, and you got some British guy. Now, this guy comes up.

24:55and his name is Louie, and he decides that he's going to impersonate each of their farts with his armpit. Okay? He says, this is what... Oh, Howie Mandel. That's one of the judges. Howie Mandel, Ozzy's wife Sharon, and some British guy. Okay, so he decides, I know your personalities, and through my armpit farting, we'll show you what your farts would sound like. And we will play that for you next. Yeah. Boys have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm sorry, our time is up. Cox Advanced TV is way more than just TV. It's the absolute best seat in the house with free HD channels. Cox Advanced TV is a 3D movie theater playing the hottest new releases up to 28 days before Netflix or Redbox.

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27:27with prices from the upper 300,000s. You won't believe it until you see it. For more information, visit Lenar.com or call 877-205-2053. Homes come equipped with a solar energy system and are subject to a 10-year lease agreement. Prices subject to change without notice. Lenar Homes of California Incorporated, license number 728102. Lenar Sales Corporation DRE, license number 01252753. Equal housing opportunity. Hey, San Diego, Justin here for Los Tacos to share the story of how we got started. We're just some guys from North County that grew up hitting Baja and enjoying those street tacos. Then we'll come home still craving tacos, but nowhere to get them. So finally we got together and started Los Tacos and it's legit. with all our favorites, including the crazy ones like Lengua, Cabeza, Tripa, Buche, and, of course, Carne Asada, Carnitas, Pastor, and more. So if you, too, also have a craving for legit street tacos, then please do come see us in Oceanside and in Temecula. For more information, you can visit us at GoodTacos.com. This year, we're proud to say Los Tacos is sponsoring Independence Jam Sunday, June 5th. I'm going to be down there with the guys cooking it up, enjoying the music, so stop by, grab some tacos and sail.

28:36but if you're craving those tacos right now you can always hit us up at goodtacos.com let's hear it again on three new coasters at six flags including the 100 mile an hour backwards blasting superman escape from krypton and the 360 degree spinning coaster green lantern first flight coming soon Save $25 on admission at SixFlags.com. Hurry. Offer ends June 5th. Go big. Go Six Flags Magic Mountain. From 20th Century Fox and Marvel. My fellow mutants. The real enemy is out there. Critics rave. They save the best for first. Mutants, they're too dangerous. X-Men First Class is the best X-Men movie yet. This Friday, those who are different will stand together for the first time. Witness the beginning of the X-Men. We are the future. X-Men First Class. Rated PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. The story begins Friday. Now through June 4th, buy one, get one free on select Walgreens brand cold, allergy, and sinus relief products. They're recommended by Walgreens pharmacists. Walgreens, there's an everyday way to stay well.

29:55Traffic is brought to you by Walgreens. Now through June 4th, buy one, get one free and select Walgreens brand cold, allergy and sinus relief products. They're recommended by Walgreens pharmacists. Walgreens, there's an everyday way to well. Watch out for emergency crews on the scene. 125 northbound right before Highway 54. Fire department is there. Lots of activity. Also the 125 southbound after I-8. Disabled car in the left shoulder and up ahead at Grossmont. Boulevard. Someone left some carpeting in the roadway and heavy traffic. I-5 southbound busy from Sea World Drive to Washington Street. In-N-Out Burger where your double-double and fries are made fresh at the moment you ordered them and not a moment before. In-N-Out, that's what a hamburger is all about. I'm Judy Gale on FM 94.9. You know what? There's probably... Perfectly good trails right by where I live. I'm not getting on any of them. Lauren. I'm always the tipsy bridesmaid. Hey, this is great. Woods. I can eat a trough of cantaloupe. Sienna. Is there anything better than taking an Oreo and dunking it in ice cold milk? And Jay. I am not a fan of the handguns. On FM 94.9. I play the guy doing the underarm parts in a second.

31:52Well, it's more specific than that. That's obviously, that would be sophomoric if he just did that. There's an actual purpose behind it. The purpose is that he was on America's Got Talent, and he was trying to do his sort of interpretation of what each of the judges would sound like if they were to fart. So what would Howie Mandel's fart sound like? What would Sharon Osbourne sound like? What would that British guy's fart sound like? And so we will play you his talent of doing that with his underarm pit in just a moment. What network is that on? Are they on the Peacock? What are they on? What's the Peacock? NBC? Yeah. I don't know. I think it's NBC. America's Got Talent. I watch sports. I know. I don't watch any of these shows. Everything I watch is documentary. Discovery. Yeah. Nat Geo. Yeah. Watched... An hour and a half last night of a documentary produced by Tony Scott, who did Top Gun. He's good. And Ridley Scott, who did Gladiator. These two got together and produced a documentary. They're brothers? Yeah, Tony Ridley. Is that really true? One of my brother's friends from high school used to be Tony Scott's assistant. It was awesome. I heard crazy stories. Oh, wow. Yeah. Anyway, those two dudes teamed up.

33:18And they did a two-hour documentary on the History Channel in high definition called Gettysburg, which I knew nothing about. And it's very graphic, and it's really good. That's awesome. Oh, it's good. It's real good. Let's see. M1. Oops. M1 Brandon, are you there? Okay. Just hung up on him. Let's get him back. Yeah. Just hung up on him. I want Brandon call back. Call back, Brandon. Sorry. I ruined your life. Let's see. Oh, we're going to do air horn birthdays here in a minute, too. Yes. We call somebody and we wake them up. We call people and we wake them up with air horns. All right, so this guy's name is Louie, and here he is doing his armpit impersonations of the judge's farts. My name is Louie. I do impersonations. I'm going to impersonate Howie's fart, Sharon's fart, and Pierce's fart. Howie, I consider you to be a squeaky clean kind of person. Right, he's a germaphobe. Yep. Howie Mandel. So, I think this is the kind of fart that you would make. This is the kind of fart that I think dear sweet Sharon would make. Dear sweet... I don't want to think about Sharon farting. And just plain old mean. That's a very talented man. You should be able to do it, I can't do it anymore. Very talented man. From personal knowledge...

35:17Is it Pierce Morgan? I can do it. Let me hear it, Sienna. Wait, just Sienna. I was doing it. That's just boobs slapping against the tail. That's what that is. Now you, Woods. There's no fart sound. All right. Yeah, Woods can do it. Oh, there, you got it. LLB was trying it. I don't think I can do it. You gonna get it? Oh, yeah, you got it. That was Jay. That was Jay. Can you try it again, LLB? It's nothing. Can't do it. No, she can't do it. Go ahead, Jay. Of course I can do anything. Jay has his shirt up and his pants are by his knees. Jay's good at it. I'm good at everything, y'all. Hey, Mike, here, I'm going to try it. That sounds extraordinary. Thanks. Hang on, I'll do it. This time, I'm going to do Beethoven's Fifth. Watch me do it between my knees.

36:27I thought that this guy was going to be able to do, like, a British fart. How do you do a British fart? I don't know. I was really excited to hear that. It's impossible to do a British fart. There you go. That was it. M1 Brandon is back on the line from Santee. Brandon, are you there? Hey, what's up, Mikey? What was the word of the day? Peacock. That's right. It was Peacock. And Indie Jam is sold out, but you get to go. Very nice. We're giving you tickets, all right? Hang on the line. Thank you. You rascal. You ready for air horn birthdays? Yes, very much. All right, now, today's air horn birthdays are very special because we're going to be calling a member of the family. Jay's daughter, Maddie. Woods, be good. Yeah, easy Woods. How old is she? She's going to be 23. I'll ask her that too, but Woods. Yes, she's a little angel. Say it, Joe. Say it. She's a little angel. A little angel. Here we go. Verizon Wireless. The number you dialed has been changed. I don't know, Matt. It's my daughter. I don't know how to get a hold of her. I may have written it down wrong. You know I can't see my phone, Matt. I just typed an M. Isn't that it? Sorry. Hey, listen. When I try to get a hold of Maddie, I either do it one or two ways.

38:15Pigeon? Or smoke signal? That's it. That's the way I've always done it. Should I try the same number again? No, let me check it. Do the other one first. All right. I'll do M1. Let's do M1 Damon. Classic. What happened? The line just... Did you try to call somebody? No! Mike! Mike! It's always J. I just asked. Mike! You guys leave J alone. Thanks, Woods. I was doing an M1 invitation. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. Yeah, it did. No, it didn't. Yeah, it did. Oh, wow. It's my sister's birthday. We could try her. Your number. Let's try her at this point. We have to be silent when we dial the phone. Now, that is not just here. At the station I worked at before, too, you got to be quiet when you dial the phone. It's 2011. And 11. Avalon? Yeah.

40:10She's 18 today. What? Legal. There you go. Not for me. Hey, can I speak to Avalon, please? This is Avalon. Happy birthday, Avalon. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. You're on the air, Avalon. Be a good girl. Yeah, don't say any bad words. It's Sienna. Wait, what? It's Sienna. It's Sienna. It's you're on the air right now. It's your birthday. She had no idea. Thank you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Avalon. Thank you. Hey, aren't you excited? Today, you could vote. Yeah. Yes. I could go vote right now. That's right. Don't buy any cigarettes or anything like that or I'll kill you. That's right. Don't get any cigarettes. All right. Thank you, Avalon. Happy birthday, Avalon. Happy birthday. She's like, what? She was sound asleep. Hello. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you make World War III out of it, Matt?

41:57All right. I wrote the number down wrong. All right. Do you make a court case or what? You can take me to court. Is it the state of California versus Jay Isbell or what are we going to do? Exhibit A. Jay the moron. I get it. All right. Great. All right. Tried, convicted, hung. I am. Oh, my God. We're about to call your daughter. Gosh. Are you? Oh, God. Are you? Stop demonstrating Jay's pincher fingers. Stop. Hi, can I speak to Madeline Isbell, please? She hung up on Madeline. Do you think she hung up? I don't know. I wouldn't think so. She thought it was a prank call. Either she hung up or the phone just dropped. You can imagine how she felt. I can. That's fantastic. Jay, you know her better than I do. Did she hang up? No, she wouldn't hang up. She would not hang up? No.

43:40Well, something's up with the phones. Weird. Should I call her back? I think it's probably run its course. Good plan. Swing and a miss a few times. Phones. Phones, man. Phones will get you. Phones will get you. I enjoyed it all. I did too. It's still fun. It's still fun. So a couple of things that I wanted to mention to you. One of them. Actually came from our phone screener, Krause. That's Krause. He was looking for a, and we've all experienced this. Now, some of us don't care. In fact, some of us would prefer this. I do not. He went to an unnamed, I will not name what the electronics store was, but he went to an electronics store. He was looking for a multi-card reader. He wandered the aisle. You can come in here, Chris. He wandered the aisles.

44:47for 10 minutes. Like an angel. Like an angel. He says, like an angel. He's a sweet little angel. He wandered the aisles for 10 minutes. His 22-year-old Chris, he's probably the sweetest guy I've ever met. He's a really good person. So he wanders the aisles at this electronics store looking for a multi-card reader for 10 minutes. Nobody walks up to him and he sees them. They all work there. He sees them. They see him. Nobody offers to help. Now, Jay, I need to let you know, is his direct superior. Is Chris's direct superior. And we all have this love affair with Chris to which Jay says, y'all, you don't know him like I do. I'm going to kill him. Then I'm going to fire him. Then I'm going to fire him. Then I'm going to hire him back so I can kill him again. Stop stroking his ego. I don't need my employees having a big old head on him because y'all.

45:47Or telling him how great he is. I got to put him back to earth. So anyway, Chris also works at World Market. They have a rule. Meet and greet within eight feet. Ooh, that's it. I personally cannot stand it when I need help. You know where I don't need help? Usually. The clothing places. And they... They help rape me. They rape you. They help rape. It's help rape. They accost you. They're instantly on you. And they ask you multiple times. And multiple times you say to them, I'm good. I'm good. Thank you. Now I'm just looking. Browsing. It's a matter of preference, really. Sure. Do you need any help with anything? Nope. Nope. I'm good. Can I help you find a... Are you looking for anything specific today? No. I'm looking. I'm just browsing. Okay.

46:47Do you know how to put a shirt on? You've got to put one arm in. And then over your head. I see Woods five minutes later. I come back. I go, is there a particular brand that you might be looking for? Yes, Banana Republic, which is why I'm here. Okay. I'll let you do your thing. If you have any questions, let me know. I know. Your name's Fred, and I'll seek you out. All right. All right. Ten minutes later, he's still looking. So Fred comes back. And Fred says, you still good? I'm good. You're still good? I'm great. As if in the last ten minutes, you had decided, I need help. I know Fred has offered his help twice. But I don't have the courage to ask Fred. Boy, I just hope Fred comes back. Again. Again, because if he does, I'll take advantage of the fact that I don't have the courage to seek Fred out. But when you need him, and you needed them yesterday. I did. They didn't come to me. I seriously, I walked by them on purpose because after a while I was just kind of annoyed, but I wasn't super annoyed. I just wanted to see if they would even try to greet me. And so I went by them twice to the same person twice.

48:15And the third time I went by them, they're like, do you finally need something? So I finally got it. Usually that person, by the way, is 19. He's wearing black slacks because he has to. But they're dickies. And you can see his, you can practically give him a proctology report because they're sagging so low with a belt on. He usually weighs approximately 45 pounds soaking wet. And he's 6'2". And he has not the greatest of complexion. And he's angry. He's furious. Furious. Inwardly, but hates his father. Hates his dad. Hates his father. So much. Now, if I had to tell you how many times I've seen a person in an orange smock and needed help from a person in an orange smock, but can't get anybody in an orange smock to say, Hey, can I help you out with something? Yeah, don't worry. I'll mix my own paint. Sure. Because you know what I am? I'm a paint mixer. Yep. In my part time. I mix paint. Keys are the worst. Yeah, I'll make my own keys. 20 minutes. Don't worry about it. I'll figure out how to utilize this machine. This whole area here. This area here. And I'll make a spare key. Why not just ask for help?

49:43Because you can't find anybody. Jay's lending to the problem. That's the problem. They're waiting for you to ask them. That's the way it should be. They're supposed to be there. You're the customer, Jay. I do not want to be bothered until I need help. And the only way they're going to know if I need help is when I ask for help. But what if you're at an electronics store and not everybody knows about everything at the electronics store? Then go, hey, man. Where's this? But after you've walked by the same aisle three times, and they're right there. They know you're looking. They know what's going on. But a lot of places, I think, are told, hey, do not bug the customer. Until it's time. Until they ask. At my other job, we're trained to go up to them within HP just to say hello. Just to say hello. I don't want to say hello to you. I don't even know you. I hate you. I hate you, man. I'll kill you. I want to look. until I know what I'm looking at. I like to look. I just don't like to touch. In a mega store like that though, Jay, there's 10 billion items. There's no way anyone knows where everything is. I do. You know, that's another place that's tough to get help. Try finding help at a grocery store. A grocery store. I mean, well, excuse me. Try to get someone to ask you if you need help. You can get it.

51:03But have you ever been just like looking and you're clearly, you're freaking lost. You look like a five-year-old in the middle of the bush in Australia. And they'll look at you. They'll just look you right. They'll look right through your soul. Yeah. I always get asked at the grocery store. Do you? That's because your boobs are big. Women say it too. It's in the fruit and veggie aisle. They always ask. You're over there. It's always there. Dude, you know what they're good at, though? When you ask them, you're like, hey, do you have, where might I find Q-tips? They're like, oh, aisle four. They're so good at knowing they're so good. Sure. They know where it is. It's dynamite. It's so cool. See, all of these places, they have the information that you want. The problem is they're either too willing to give it to you or not willing to give it to you. That's the problem. At a clothing store. Me personally, I'm just going to put it out there. If you work at a clothing store, if an overweight person like myself comes in, I'm already mortified to be in this store. Okay? Second of all... You're so mean, Jake. Second of all, my goal...

52:26much like somebody that was at Alcatraz, is just to escape. I'm just looking for a way out. I want to get what I'm going to get and then go. Quickly. Quick. Not that quick. And when I go in, every time you ask me if you can help me, I'm embarrassed. More and more. Because I look different than you. You work at Nordstrom because you're attractive. I shop at Nordstrom because I've got a job with benefits. You are a handsome man. I am not. You're tall, good looking, probably listen to cool music. I'm short, overweight, and listen to theological lectures.

53:32We're different people. Is there a certain size I can get you, sir? Oh, that's the worst. Oh, my gosh. Oh, that's the worst. Yeah, there is. I just don't want to tell you. I know. I don't want to tell you. I'm going to write it down. I'm going to give you a piece of paper. Especially when you're in the stall. It's the worst. It's the worst. You know what I hate? I hate when I'm in the changing room, and it takes me a while, because I'm... You're fat. I'm here. Everything works. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure, sure, sure. It's good. Does it fit? You know what? Some of them do and some of them I'm just still working on it. Do you want me to get some of the sizes? You need bigger sizes. Let him know that we have a tailor on site. Just let him know. Yeah, we do have a tailor on site. Yeah, I know. Yep, I've been here before. Do you need anything altered right now? Uh-uh. I'm just looking right now. Should I send a tailor in?

54:33Not yet. Is that off-the-rack fit? Uh-uh. I haven't found what I'm looking for yet. Smaller sizes? No. I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know in a minute. Do we have any 42-28s? That's not my size. We can special order. Do you want me to call the Mission Valley store, sir? No, I'm good. That's the worst. How about that one? I hate that bit. You know what, sir? I just looked on the computer. There's one in this size in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and I can have it sent right to your house. Really? So, in other words, there's one freak in Albuquerque. Yeah. Bought something, got it tailored, sent it back. I'll say this for Piers Morgan. The guy's got a set of rocks on him. He's interviewing Paris Hilton. Her mom's sitting there. He asks about the sex tape. Oh, boy. Oh, man. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. It's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. This Sunday, Bush Inside Pierre Amphitheater.

56:12Presented by Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste Greatness. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Leaky Lee. Peter, Bjorn, and John. Band of Skulls. Everest. Performing on the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. And performing wherever he can plug in. Low Bolt. You can't buy tickets. but we will be giving some away. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness. A special thanks to Grubbies and Los Tacos for helping to support this year's Independence Jam. See you this Sunday in Oceanside with FM 94.9. What is value? Buying those tickets for the game where the seats are located exactly behind the column? You gotta have x-ray, man. Now think about your cell phone. You and I know that value means getting all the quality you need at the right price. Whether you upload, download, send, receive, or just text that to say, hola, you need a network that can deliver real value.

57:10And that network is Verizon. Switch now to America's largest high-speed wireless network and get unlimited data for only $29.99 monthly access when added to a voice plan. And celebrate Father's Day with our great deals on Droid phones like the new and powerful Droid X2. Or give a global-ready Droid Pro for $99.99 after a $50 mail-in rebate debit card. Visit any Verizon store, verizonwireless.com, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Papa, there's only one. New two-year activation and data pack required. Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details in Spanish at VerizonWireless.com. Your body and your finances have a lot in common. If you don't take care of it, it will break. If you don't treat it well, it will get sick. If you don't get good advice, you will pay the price. Welcome to San Diego's very own Mission Federal Credit Union. Financial health for life. Mission Fed offers better rate free ATMs nationwide and personalized service. Improve your financial health now with Mission Fed. Protecting people, not profits. Just walk into one of over 20 Mission Fed branches right here in San Diego or go to missionfed.com. Mission Federal Credit Union. Financial health for life.

58:40All accounts and loans are subject to approval. Mission Fed is federally insured by the National Credit Union Administration. Mission Federal Credit Union. Your success is our bottom line. Papa's in the house. The 29-county-wide Papa John's have an unbelievable pizza deal for you. On Mondays and Tuesdays, get any large one-topping Papa John's pizza for just $7. Believe it, for just $7 on Mondays and Tuesdays, you'll get your favorite large one-topping Papa John's pizza for just $7. Order one for you or a bunch for the gang. There's no limit. Honest. But this exclusive Papa John's offer is only for a limited time. Don't miss out. Better ingredients, better pizza. That's Papa John's. We are the future. X-Men First

59:45Rated PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. The story begins Friday. Traffic is brought to you by Preparation H. New Preparation H Totables, discreet little tubes packed with big relief. They're the anywhere Preparation H from the brand doctors recommend most by name among leading brands. And they continue to investigate a fatal crash in La Mesa, 125 northbound before Highway 54. It looks like lanes are clear, though, on the bridge. Highway 78, slow traffic from College Boulevard to Melrose Drive, again from Escondido over to Broad. way to Bear Valley. I-5 southbound slow ride here from SeaWorld Drive to Washington Street and 15 northbound slow and go from Imperial Avenue to Highway 54. And Pacific Care of California is United Healthcare of California. Only the name has changed. They're helping our state grow healthy. Learn more at UHCTogether.com slash CA Ready, Set, Grow Healthy California. I'm Judy Gale, 94.9.

1:00:49KBCT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. I don't know the difference between hot and even. Lauren. I washed my hands like a thousand times when I could. Woods. I don't know what my point is. I just felt like saying it. Okay? Sienna. I love salami. And Jay. I've got bees in my attic right now. On FM 94.9. Here's Morgan on Piers Morgan Tonight. We'll be playing that here for you in just a second. Like I said, the guy's got rocks. He talked to... Paris Hilton and her mom and asked about the sex tape right in front of the mom. It's pretty controversial. Her answer to me, her answers about it were irritating. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, get ready. The 2011 Atlantic hurricane season begins today. Yes, forecasters are expecting an above average year. They're saying during the season, which ends November 30th, there's going to be about 12 to 18 named storms.

1:02:02Storms are named when they reach tropical storm status, winds of like 39 miles per hour or higher. And their forecasters are predicting 6 to 10 will reach hurricane status with 75 mile per hour winds or higher. And blow and blow. So that's kind of a lot. Making jokes about hurricanes. Woods. Not very funny. You're just trying to get Jay in trouble. It ain't going to work. It ain't going to work, dude. You can do anything you want. People love me. Also pretty crazy, Pirates of the Caribbean on Stranger Tides, the fourth installment, has already made over $600 million worldwide within just 12 days of being released. Over $600 million. That's pretty crazy. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Well, it sucks for me to say, but Padres won again. They won four in a row. Now, the reason he says it sucks for him to say is because if the Padres won six in a row... No. Woods has to shave his hair into a Friars haircut. This is the worst bet I could have made because I like watching the Padres win games. Now I'm watching them like, come on, drop that ball, drop that ball. I don't want the Friars cut. See, I think it's hard to do. I think it's hard to win six in a row. It'd be great. They've won four. They've won four straight. They won again last night. Ryan Ludwig is heating up. I'm telling you guys, man, once they get out of pet coat, they start raking the ball.

1:03:27There also is talk of moving the fences in at Petco. Thank you, finally. Now, wait. I don't know if you know the answer to this, Woods, but why can't they? Oh, they can, and I'll tell you why they don't. Because it's a pitcher's park. Right. So, all these guys that you're seeing, like, their bullpen is one of the best in baseball. Probably not going to be one of the best in baseball if they move the fences in. Okay. It's six of one, half dozen of the other. Which one do you want? Yeah. In order to win games, you need to score runs. But you know what wins championships? Pitching and defense. So you tell me what to do. You know what gets butts in the seats? People hitting home runs. And scoring a lot of runs. A lot of people don't like to go watch a 1-0 game. I do, but a lot of people don't. I don't. But Padres did win last night. Heath Bell allowed a run in the ninth inning, but he did save games on four consecutive days. So Matt Latos won back-to-back starts again, so that's good. So Padres win. And then this was pretty interesting. Did you know the NFL canceled its annual rookie symposium? Why? Because they're not allowed to have any contact with the rookies. Makes sense. Which is, if you guys don't know what the symposium is, it's when they sit these guys down and they tell them about what's in store for them with the women. Girls. The money. The money, the entourages, all that stuff. And they really school these guys on their finances and things like that. But the NFL Players Association.

1:04:49Players Association has decided to hold its own rookie symposium in June. So they will get some some guidance. All right. So here's Paris Hilton on Piers Morgan tonight talking about the infamous sex tape. Your career was totally along quite nicely. And then came this infamous sex tape. And you were suddenly catapulted into this completely different league of modern celebrity. Take me back to, I don't want to labour the point on this, but take me back, the moment you knew this was all going to go public, how did you actually feel? I was in shock. I had no idea. And we were in Australia when I heard the news that someone had been sent a clip, one of the entertainment shows, and I didn't believe it at first. And then when I landed back in L.A. is when I saw, and I was... It was the most embarrassing, humiliating thing that's ever happened to me in my life. All right, here's a little more on the topic. What do you feel about him now? I just felt so betrayed. This is not some random guy. This was someone I was with for a few years. That you loved? I thought I did. And I can't believe that he would do something like that to me. It's something that changed my life forever. You know, when I was a little girl, I looked up to people like Princess Diana.

1:06:18these women and i feel like he took that away from me and this is not what i planned i didn't want to be now that's where i got irritated he didn't take it away from you i mean if you hadn't had sex with him on tape then there would be nothing to take away from you i'm not sure it was ever there for the taking by her or him what do you mean when was she ever going to be in the league of princess diana or anyone Yeah, I don't know the Princess Diana thing. I don't get that. Well, how many incidents would it take? In other words, she's saying, well, I don't know why this has to be such a big deal. It was one incident one night. Well, yeah, but it was a pretty big incident.

1:07:25It was a giant incident. It's nice. It's a great incident. Yeah. Thank you. People assume, oh, she's a slut just because of one thing that happened to me. Well, what other... Okay. I'm just... On the list of conclusions to make, if a public tape is put out where you're in night vision having intercourse and performing oral sex and what... comes of that is that someone may say you're a slut exactly what other conclusion could one come to i disagree with you okay bad for her okay well of course i do too as a human being because she slept with her boyfriend and make her a slut no but what she resents is the fact that people think that she's a slut right simply because

1:08:30She was filmed in night vision having intercourse and performing oral sex on her boyfriend. So my question is, if one consumes another one having sexual intercourse and giving oral sex on night vision, what other conclusion can you come to? What are the various conclusions we can come to? One conclusion. These are just some examples. A. She's extraordinarily smart. Is that a conclusion we can come to? No. Okay. B. She's a philanthropist. In a way. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Giving back. Fair enough. Stretch. Three. She manages money well. Can we come to that conclusion? No, probably not from that video. Okay. All right. So from that video, I'm... And I know this is a bit philosophical, but my question is, from that video, is it fair to deduce that she's a slut? No. Okay, I know you guys say no, but when I saw it, and I wasn't Mr. Holy Roller, not that I am now. When I saw it, I was like, man, that slut is doing some stuff. So every girl that you ever slept with is a slut? No, the question would be...

1:09:56So, Mikey, are you telling me that every girl that you've ever filmed in night vision giving you oral and having intercourse with is a slut? That would be the question. If you get adventurous, if you go outside of what you accept as normal. I mean, they just filmed each other and it was never supposed to get out. If your question to me were. So, if your question to me were. So, Mike, are you telling me that every girl you've ever filmed in night vision having intercourse with you? and giving you oral was a slut well first of all i haven't however if i had i don't think maybe she isn't a slut but what i think is ridiculous is the notion of how can someone think i'm a slut which is what she said she said let's listen to her one more time just on that point they think that

1:10:53I'm something I'm not just because of one incident one night with someone who I was in love with. They think I'm someone that I'm not just because of one incident one night with someone I was in love with. Okay. My response, Paris, is sorry, but I don't think that that's a leap. I don't think it's a leap for someone to think that you're something that you're not because you were filmed in night vision having intercourse and oral with a guy. Your boyfriend. I disagree. Because it's video. I mean, if she put it out herself, she says, hey, check this out. Then I'd go, yeah, that girl is a slut. But she had no control over when that video came out. She was railroaded. She was railroaded. Really. Wait a minute. I'll tell you this. And I'll ask you. Would it change anything for you if it was her husband? I was going to ask you the same question. Oh, if it was her husband, I would say poor judgment to film it. And way poor judgment by him to let it out. Yeah, poor judgment to film it because I just don't think you ever want to have that recorded. Right. So perfect. The government document means whether she's a slut or not. Oh, okay. Perfect. Yes, in my view. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. I jumped to that. I jumped real quick because I was emotional when you asked that. I responded emotionally.

1:12:26So the answer may still be yes, but I responded emotionally, so I have to put out there that I don't know that my answer was accurate. But my question was, if she's married and she made a tape in night vision doing oral and intercourse, I would think bad judgment. I think that's bad judgment because it could get out. What if? What if your house is broken into? But not a slut. Not a slut. But you don't trust your husband? You know, that he, you know, it's just that some of you guys do it for fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying, well, what if somebody breaks into the house and somebody steals that? That's what happened with Pam and Tommy. They were married. Hey. And that's exactly what happened. Somebody stole theirs. Now, the answer is, I don't think that she, maybe, maybe I think she's a slut, but it wouldn't be because somebody, I feel bad. I'm like, oh my gosh. That sucks. Somebody broke in, stole this tape. You know, that's a private thing between man and her wife and blah, blah, blah.

1:13:26I also think to myself, man, you know, maybe you don't make the sex tape because, I mean, whatever you want to do, freaky deaky, whatever. I'm just saying, you know, somebody could break in your house. You know, who knows? Now, same bit with me. Rebecca went to, what's that, Boudoir Divas. That's right. Oh, boy. Now, she didn't take anything naked or anything like that. But let me say that the pictures that she did took are great and they're in a safe place. I'll just say that. They're in a safe place. But if somebody breaks into your house now. If somebody broke into my house. Hey, listen. We're married. She took pictures. I don't think that makes anybody. They're classy, too. And by the way, let me say this. I don't think that it makes Paris Hilton a slut. I don't. What I do think, though, is that it gives people the ability to say that. I can get behind that. She's like shocked. She's like, I can't believe that people think that one night. Yeah. The way you just summed it up makes total sense for me. For me, it wasn't the video that did it. It was her actions before and after that that did it. Because she kind of proved herself to be a lunatic. Yeah, a lunatic.

1:14:50Because there's other pictures of her topless. Well, she didn't do any damage control after that video came out. She continued to go out partying in these skimpy little clothes. Her boobs would come out. Underwear shots. I thought the underwear thing was Britney. That was another one. Yeah. All of those girls had the underwear shots from paparazzi. taking them when they're getting out of cars and stuff like that, or lack of underwear. And Paris Hilton has been engaged numerous times. She's always with different guys. It's like you're adding to it. I'm glad Sienna said that because this is the deal. If a girl doesn't wear underwear, that doesn't make her a slut. If a girl made a video where she's given oral and night vision, that doesn't make her a slut. But what it does do is it makes her a target. For sluttery. For sluttists. Yeah, for sluttists. Sluttists will then attack you. They will take advantage of said sluttery. Correct. So you gotta know that. Paris Hilton, by the way, recording a new album. Oh.

1:15:59Right, Sienna? What do you got on that? Oh, my goodness. What do we know about this new album? She's ridiculous. And she told it to Pierce Morgan last night. And it's been four years since we've heard any music from Paris. So she said that it's time to change. And she's been in the studio working on a new album. And she's making house music. She has a recording studio in her house. So anytime she has free time, she's writing and working on new music. So she's just letting people know, you know, don't worry. You will hear, you know, more stars are blind or whatever her song is called. Paris, let me ask you, why? Why this new album? And, you know, what is this new album going to be? It's going to be something different. It's going to be spoken word. You're doing a spoken word album. Yeah, spoken word. Got it. Set to beats. I'm going to be doing, like, Dr. Seuss thing. Right, okay. So, like, some examples would be you do Dr. Seuss. Green Eggs and Ham. Green Eggs and Ham. Elephant. What is that elephant one? Horton. Horton Hears of Who. Horton Hears of Who. So you're just going to read them spoken word, release it. Yeah, but with house beats, though. With house beats.

1:17:07With house beats. Got it. Why? I'm thinking it's really sexy. She can go from, see, this cute voice to the regular voice and she'll sort of do that while you're talking to her. What? Why the spoken word and why the good stories? I think it is already the rhyme exists. Right. The rhyme pattern, the rhythmic pattern. Yeah. I don't know if you know anything about music. Not as much as you probably. So that exists. Well, the words, too. The words, yeah. The words are already there for you. Yeah, exactly. Wow. And I'm hoping to appeal more to kids. Yes. That's strange. That's weird. It doesn't really seem like your audience, but, you know, hey. No, I just, you know, I look at people like Rosie O'Donnell and, you know, like Brooke Shields. Right. And I think I want to be in that category. If they could do it, you could do it. Yeah. I get what you're saying. It's Paris Hilton. Thank you. Thank you, Paris. Paris. I like your Paris. Thank you. You guys want to play some buzzword? Really? You know what? I'll tell you what. We'll line them up for buzzword in a minute. Not yet. First.

1:18:21What's the iCloud? I need it now. Now. Now. I need it now. What's the iCloud now? I need it. We're going to be learning exactly what it is next week at the Worldwide Developers Conference because Apple just confirmed that Steve Jobs will be there to introduce the new cloud-based service called the iCloud. Now, basically what it sounds like is it's a form of... file sharing more or less. Not particularly a new one because it's kind of like Dropbox and Google and Amazon have it to allow users to store their files which are usually music online and share them to different computers. You know Jay has an obsession with Dropbox. Yes. Where you can put your stuff and use it all on different computers. So basically it's something that's going to let you listen to music just about anywhere. Your music. Your music. And they say Which is a pain in the butt right now. Wait. Let me explain, Woods. Explain, because I'm like, can I listen to all my music on my laptop? Yes, but let's say I buy you an iMac as a gift. Okay, which you will, right? No, but let's say, okay, let's say that you have an iMac at home. Okay. And you use your laptop on the road. Right. Okay, which a lot of people do. Absolutely. Or you use their laptop at work. Yes. But you do all of your downloading on one of those computers. Right. Or most of your downloading.

1:19:39on one of those computers let's say you downloaded the new kings of leon at home yes and then you're at work and now you want it you want to listen to it on your laptop you're like great it's at home i gotta burn it on a disc and then i gotta put it on this and then i gotta do it rad not anymore It also says you can expect iCloud to do less sharing and more syncing and streaming of iTunes content on mobile platforms like your iPhone, your iPad. And also, unlike its competitors, they're saying Apple settled agreements with record companies like Warner Music Group ahead of time so there won't be the same limits on what you can listen to. And they say, quote, it'll be another big step in getting away from physical purchase of music almost like renting. Here's what we need. We need all of your devices to have all of your music, no matter where said device is. Wouldn't it be cool, too, for me to take my new iPhone, download a song here, and then it automatically syncs to my computer without a stupid plug? Yes. And then having to hit the check marks, and if I buy it here, it goes there, it goes to my Mac at home. Or how about this? You can decide if you want.

1:20:51Like you can do the checkmark bit and tell it, yep, every time I open my computer up, I want it to download everything I've downloaded from my phone or my computer. Or you could go, no, no, I want to manage it myself. And so you ask me and then I'll tell you what I want. That's good. Yeah. Google's been able to do it without a cord or anything. Like if you have your contacts on your phone and change it, the next time like your phone picks up a signal, it'll update your account when you sign in. That's cool. They can do it. That's real cool. That's cool. iCloud. In. Yeah. Let's see. Okay, so call us and we will get you lined up. Pick L.O.B. for sure. Stop. Yes, L.O.B. will win. Buzzword. I'm getting legitimately mad at you. Well, yeah, because we've jinxed you. We've jinxed you. It's worked two weeks in a row. It's not even funnier. You're perfect at it. You're perfect at it. You're the best. You'll win today for sure. Lauren O. Buzzword. Lauren. Oh, buzzword. Buzzword O'Brien. No. Is that better? Buzzword. L-O buzzword. L-O buzzword. L-O buzzword. I haven't won in like weeks. L-O buzzword is my favorite thing that's ever happened. Easy buzzword. Friends call me buzz. B-dub. Real quickly, if you go to facebook.com slash Mikey show, you will see

1:22:19A picture of Woods' ankle. If you go down a little bit, it says Woods' ankle. Now, Woods injured his ankle last Thursday. Woods has an appointment. An appointment to see a phys... What? An orthopedic surgeon? Yes. Right. Orthopedic doctor. Orthopedist. An orthopedist. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Comes highly recommended. When we're done playing buzzword, I have a question. Okay. May I interview you? Sure. I want to interview you. Fire away. Well, because you've said to me and you've said to LOB before that you would like to cut our brains open and study the inside. For sure. I'm in that place with you. Okay. And I want to interview you like you're a guest. Done. Call and select me, LOB, Woods, or Sienna for buzzword and we'll play next. What's the prize, Jay?

1:23:26It is brunch for two at Vigalucci's. There you go. FAMFAM 94.9. Do you go to one auto parts store for automotive maintenance basics like motor oil and wiper blades just to go to another when your car needs replacement parts like brake pads, starters, or alternators? Don't waste valuable time driving all over town for auto parts. O'Reilly Cragen Auto Parts has everything you need. From maintenance supplies and accessories to the parts to fix what's broken, O'Reilly Cragen Auto Parts is your one-stop shop. We've expanded our inventory and now carry a full line of batteries, brake pads and rotors, starters, alternators, belts, hoses, shocks and more. All at guaranteed low prices.

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1:25:20There's a rumor that San Diego is home to one of the most brilliant, insightful, and educational culinary TV shows ever created. And then, there's my show. But it's big in taste and small in effort. Sam the Cooking Guy, Sundays at 5.30 and 7 p.m., only on Channel 4 San Diego. Put your pedal to the metal, because the San Diego County Fair opens next week. On Wednesdays and Thursdays, pay a buck and try your luck at every game in the fun zone. And enjoy unlimited rides on Pepsi Pay One Price Ride Day. Visit sdfair.com for details. Miles to the mile at the San Diego County. Presented by Albertson Savon. From 20th Century Fox and Marvel. My fellow mutants. The real enemy is out there. Critics rave. They save the best for first. Mutants, they're too dangerous. X-Men First Class is the best X-Men movie yet. This Friday, those who are different will stand together for the first time. Witness the beginning of the X-Men. We are the future.

1:26:34X-Men First Class. Rated PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. The story begins Friday. Tornadoes, wildfires, ice storms. No matter what happens, Allstate is there to protect its customers. You're in good hands with Allstate. Traffic is brought to you by Garmin. Garmin checks traffic over 2 billion times a month. To keep you moving, available on select Garmin GPS with 100% subscription-free traffic. For more info, visit Garmin.com. That's Garmin.com. Car broke down here in San Diego, 94 westbound as you connect to the north. 805 blocks the left lane of that transition. La Mesa 125 northbound before Highway 54. Still investigating an earlier fatal incident, the lane. are open, but a bit slow through the area. And also 805 through Chula Vista, busy ride from Orange Avenue to Palm Avenue. 78 eastbound busy from College Boulevard to Melrose Drive again through Escondido from Broadway to Bear Valley Road. And wherever you're going this summer, stay connected with the ultra-portable BlackBerry Playbook. Visit a Best Buy store today and get it set up just right to make your summer better. I'm Judy Gale, FM 94.9.

1:27:46It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. This is Bird from Bird Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning. This is being brought to you again by Joe Roper's Surf for Repair and Restoration Services. Block away down on Marina Boulevard. Check him out. Surf-wise today, we do have that solid increase in southwest pretty swell that we've been expecting. Some background northwest on the linger as well, but really the southwest is what it's all about. Inconsistent to be sure, but waist chest, shoulder high waves at a lot of spots. Head high with some pluses at the standout open areas to that south swell direction. Coming off of a negative low tide earlier this morning, so that is hurting size and shape at a lot of areas. South facing reef breaks have some waves right now. Beaches a bit walled up, but there's some pick and choose corners to be had as well. Partly cloudy skies and winds this morning out of the north northeast, so relatively clean surface conditions. Super, or not super clean right now, still a little bit of a cross bump. from residual waves from yesterday's windswell, but definitely on the improving side, and it should just get better as the swell and tide fills in. For up-to-the-minute surf reports and forecasts, go to surfline.com. And for solid restorations of surfboards and the best repairs in town, go see Joe Roper. Surf report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I love guacamole.

1:29:14We play Buzzword. We're going to interview Woods about his ankle. Now, if you want to know what we're talking about, you can see it. But I'll describe it to you. So even if you're in your car and you can't get to it, don't worry. I'm going to paint a picture. Can you turn Jay's mic off while you do it? Oh, no. Unfortunately, Jay will have full input. Yeah. Because Jay was there when it happened. We can't say how it happened. We're not allowed. We can. I'd actually like to. We can? At this point. No, he can't. I'd like to. Well, yeah, you'd like to. Can't you get sued if you did? No, not sued. I thought that they... Absolutely. Isn't there a thing in there that says... Do you want to read the terminology? Yeah, I think the thing says they'll sue you. Yeah. Okay. I think they'll sue you. All right, please. Hey, I'll talk about it if you want me to.

1:30:57You're not talking about it. No, I'm talking about it. Then they'll pull the footage. Yes. Oh, I don't want that. All right, let's play buzzword. The way that we play buzzword is Jay's going to give us a word. Then you've got to select which one of us you want to represent you. We have tickets to our, we have meals at where? It's brunch for two at Bigalooch's. There you go. M1 Buzz from Scripps Ranch. Who do you want? You got it. Hang on the line. M1 Oside from Oside. Who do you want? You, Mikey. Okay. M1 Rick from Escondido. Who do you want? Since LLB is going to win, I'll take Sienna. There you go. M1 Mick. Oh, look at LLB. She is burning. She is burning holes. That Rick from Escondido really knows how to get under my skin. He knows how to get you. He used to pick me. Yeah, he did. M1 Mick.

1:31:58From El Cajon. L-O-B. There you go, buddy. L-O-B. Alright. What's the word? You guys ready for the word? Here's the word. Today's word is ball. Ball. B-A-L-L. He's going to say things. He's going to give us a hint that the word ball will be in and we have to yell out that phrase. Fred Flintstone. He tiptoed before he let it go. Wrecking ball! I don't know. I didn't hear any of you. I said wrecking ball. Mikey, right. He beat me. I thought we did it at the same time. No, you got me. It's wrong. Either way. It's not wrecking ball? No. He tiptoed before letting this go. Ball and chain? Yeah. The ball and chain? What? He just said that. I know. None of you get it. It's the bowling ball. He tiptoed.

1:33:06Oh, that's right. Damn it. All right, come on. Let's get it together. That's what I meant to say. Come on, guys. Let's fuck it. Come on, guys. Fail to follow through. Drop the ball. Thanks, Woods. Take that away from your mouth. Yeah. Call it in the corner pocket. Ball. Eight ball. Eight ball. Corner pocket. I just yelled ball. Ball. What was it? Ball. Eight ball. Oh, oh. Oh. Michael Jordan dominated it. Basketball! Ty, over here for Woods and L.O.B. In the song, the morning sun is shining like it... A rubber ball! Red rubber ball! There you go. What is it? Red rubber ball. Like a red rubber ball. Isolate. Isolate! Whacked with a seven iron.

1:34:17Go fall. Lauren. Lauren are tied with three. See, she's good. Shut up. A heavy. Wrecking ball. Wow. A heavy leather piece of workout. Ball gag. Medicine ball. Oh, my God. Ball gag. Ball gag. Is incorrect. Ball gag. Wow. Ball gag. Wow. Is incorrect. Incorrect. Well, Jay is the one giving them clues. That's true. He makes his own up. Ball gag! I have one in my head. I can't get it out. Hilarious. Is it ball gag? No. Enjoy yourself. Have a ball! Hey, everybody. I know. Everything. Don't you just look an idiot? I just feel like a dummy. Oh, me too. America's favorite pastime. Baseball! Baseball! Baseball! Baseball!

1:35:19Balls ball. Balls ball. I guess that's not. It's been very, very good to me. Buzz ball. Buzz ball. All right. New word. What is it? What is it? Give it. Fit. F-I-T. You ain't gonna get one of these fatties. Let's catch stuff out. You guys never heard this word. Fit. Fit. In good shape. Like a fine violin. Tune like a fiddle. Fit like a fiddle. What did you say? Fit like a fiddle. He said tune like a fiddle. Oh, fit like a fiddle. Fair enough. Oh, boy. Dang it. Mike and I. LLB's going to win. Hell yeah. God, you're so good, Lauren. You're so good, Lauren. What's the score? How do you do it? Why don't you do that to Woods? All right, what's the score? Lauren, four, Woods, six. Okay, here we go. Mike and I winning. Belong socially. Fit in! Mikey. Mikey. Yeah, Mike! More like Fat Inn. More like Fat Inn, don't you? Sized better than a... Perfect! One size fits all. One size fits all. Fits like a glove. Fits like a glove. Who got that? Oh, Lauren got it. I can't hear! You gotta get on that, Mike. I can't!

1:36:50I can't. Remember, I'm not allowed to scream. You are allowed to scream. Upset in need of restraint. Fit to be tied. Dang it. What about fit to be tied? Come on. Here we go. Have a tantrum. Don't fit. Thank you. Observed to be appropriate. Perfect fit. Observed to be appropriate. See fit. See fit. Darn it. See fit. See fit. See fit. See fit. I just ran over my foot. Ow. Here we go. If the Reebok is the right size. If the shoe fits. This is going on for too long. This is the worst I've ever done. Is it over? Please let it be over. What score? Mikey and Sienna won. LLB six. Woods eight.

1:38:02This is a four-pointer. You're such a D. What? Johnny Cochran's rhyme in the OJ game. If the glove don't fit, you must acquit! Woods is the best at this game. Woods is so good. That feeds my fire. You're right. We're going to jinx you. That feeds my fire. Feed me. M1 Buzz. Yeah, feed me. Isolate. Woods. Just won the game for you. I'm surprised because L.O.B. is so... Shut up. Hang on the line. Hang on. Hang on. Now, if you haven't had a chance because you're driving or whatever, if you haven't had a chance to go to Facebook.com slash Mikey Show, then you haven't seen a picture of Woods' ankle. It reminds me of a middle-aged woman's ankle.

1:39:10What? That has leprosy. That, a middle-aged woman's ankle, hang on, that has four kids, she's at the beach, she's got on her flip-flops, a big floppy hat, and maybe she's 75 pounds overweight. If I showed you this photograph and I said, that's who it belongs to, you would go, of course it does. It doesn't. It belongs to a guy that is 35 years old, six feet one, athletic. Six feet fat. That was... And boom goes the diamond. All right. There it goes. Six feet fat one. So his foot and his ankle, they're swollen. And this injury happened on Thursday, and he hasn't done anything about it.

1:40:17hasn't gone to see a doctor, hasn't gone to see to the ER, to the urgent care, even to the minute clinic. What he's done instead is made an appointment to see someone tomorrow. Gynecologist? A specialist. Now, Jay says that in reference to Woods being a woman. That's the joke. And the reason is because Woods, or Jay feels, that... Woods has been overdramatic and a sally about this. That, in fact, when he did it, it was because he was a sally. That's Jay's contention. Right. Now. Very sensitive guy. Yes. Now, I want to interview you, Woods. Fire away. Now, I need you to be extraordinarily honest. I will be. Okay. Why have you not seen a doctor? Don't like doctors. Okay. Has the pain.

1:41:23of this injury affected you? Yes. Is it painful? Yes, very. How is it that the... And how would you rate the pain? Moderate or very painful? It depends. Depends on what position I'm in. If you're walking. If I'm walking, it's very painful. Very painful. And when I'm laying in bed a certain way, it's very painful. Okay. Has it gotten better? No, it's gotten worse. It's gotten worse. I think what I really would like to know is... How the pain of the ankle has not exceeded the fear of the doctor. I keep waiting for it to dissipate. You think it'll go away? Well, because of people like Jay that are like, just put some dirt on it. Don't be a pee. You're fine. I'm like, yeah, fine. All right. I'll see if it goes down. So I've been icing it. You're telling me. Yes. That you've done this to somehow show Jay.

1:42:29and people like jay people of the same same ilk ilk yes you've done this to show jay and people like jay that you ain't no sally right you to fight through it but you do have a legitimate thing with doctors uh it's i wouldn't even say it's a fear it's more of a pain you say you don't yeah you say i don't like doctors i believe it's A fear of doctors, but I could be wrong. No, I'll tell you, I have a fear of dentists. A fear. Like, when I go to the dentist, it's palpable. I can feel it. Got it. When I go to the eye doctor, when I go to the orthopedist, I'm not afraid. He's not going to hurt me. He's not going to stick a needle in there, you know? So I'm not afraid of that. What's the deal with a doctor? I don't want to hear that I'm overweight. I don't want to hear that I need to quit smoking. I don't want to hear I need to do this. Doctor's not going to tell you you're overweight when it comes to this ankle, though. Right, right, right. Which is why I'm not afraid to go to the orthopedist. I was just kind of like, eh, I'll see if it goes down. I'll see if the swelling goes down. I'll see if it starts to feel better. Yesterday, I suggested that you go to an emergency room. Pain in the butt. Four hours. I wanted to go home and take a nap. Minute clinic. They don't think they do x-rays. Urgent care.

1:43:44Again, a long wait. I don't like the long wait. Okay, because I'm thinking urgent care 20 minutes. Now, let's say that the wait at urgent care was seven hours. Do you remember my urgent care story, though? I do. Do you remember? I do, actually. You sure you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I do. Okay. Now, let's say that it was seven hours. Okay. You've now waited approximately 149 hours. Right. So which is longer? Well, obviously 149 hours is longer. But I've been doing it in the comfort of my own home with my foot up, with ice on it. See, and I think... Now, I challenge that. I think that you've been doing it in the discomfort of your own home. It has been a little bit uncomfortable. In fact, it's been quite uncomfortable. It hurts. It's very painful. With the dogs and whatnot, it makes it worse because they like to go outside and they don't like to come in. So I then have to go get them. Please look at this picture on our Facebook page on one foot. I'm going to take a guess. I believe that it is a very bad upper ankle sprain. Woods does something that I believe is so unwise. He will raise.

1:45:05He will bend his knee and he'll grab the foot and stretch it. The way I feel is if I can do that, it's probably not a tendon. But when I do it, it feels like somebody's shooting me. Why not ice it at work? You sit here for four hours. No ice. I know. I need it. No ace bandage. I know. How about a crutch? Yeah, I know. I need to. You can do all those things. I know. Because they're going to say, hey, you need to stay off of it. My friend Winder gave me a boot. That helps a little bit, and I wear it when I'm at the house, but I'm not going to wear it in here and get filleted, so I just won't wear it. A boot for a sprain. Who would fillet you? You, Sienna, L-O-B, Jay, Chris, Garrett, Rick, Tommy, Hillary, any random employee. Besides that. So, there you go. Sienna laughed that way because she knows she would fillet him. Oh, yeah. Out of love. But I think that... You don't have to go as far as the boot. Well, the boot's really helpful. It really feels good. Because you're supposed to compress it. How about a bag of ice? Yeah. How about we have Chris get you some ice? I don't want to put him out. How about you bring your own ice then? I don't want to. It's a pain in the butt. You just had him go to Denny's for you. I mean. Oh, wow. Happy birthday. You too. I know, but you don't want to put him out. I don't want to put him out. He gets you some ice. Nah, I don't need any.

1:46:29570-1949. If a physician is listening and they look at the photograph of Woods' ankle and foot, I want them to call in and tell us what they think is wrong. I think that whatever it is is more than... I think it's more than... It's more than a sprained ankle because that goes away. I don't think that it's no big deal. LLB, do you think that it's no big deal? I don't think it's no big deal. I just think he hasn't been treating it. I gave him on Friday morning. I gave him the rice. I got it. Rest, ice, compression, and elevation. Rest, ice, compression, elevation. Not elevated. Not at all being rested. Not at all compressed. I'm at work. This is work. I do it at home. I saw you run on it. I didn't run. You did. You did. I limped on it. You sauntered. I sauntered. You ran. I sashayed. You ran. You meandered. I meandered. Yeah. I ran, and it was all of six feet, and I did it on one foot, basically. I think you need a brace for it, because it's having to prop up all that weight.

1:47:30You knew it was coming. And boom goes the dynamite. And the reason I know it's not broken is because gravy didn't pour out of it. Holy ass. It took me a second. He's so funny. Payback's a B. Add insult to injury. Wow. Fat Jay is so funny. Dear Facebook page, Jay is funny. He gets me. Jay is the best! Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. Don't ever stop, LOL. L-M-A-O. R-O-F-L. Well, there it is. Anything else? Nope. That's all I got for you. Well, you know...

1:48:26The reason I don't go to urgent care is because I went there to quit smoking. You have to get this story out. I'm going to. Apparently, because I told you already. But we like to reset. No, I know, but the reset time would have been before. So, in other words, you want to get this urgent care story. I got my wiener touched. This is urgent. And all I wanted to do was quit smoking. And the guy made me take my pants off. So, there you go. That's why I don't go to urgent care. I just wanted to quit smoking. Hence why I still smoke. What branch was that? Oh, my God. Oh, creep. Yes, what? It was in Texas. Take your pants off. Yes, what branch of urgent care? The legislative branch? The executive branch? The judicial branch? Or was it a bank as well? So in other words, it was an urgent care slash first national branch. First national branch. Slash library. Slash library. So that's why. I don't like that. They're shady. No, they're not. They are. No. Hi, I'd like to quit smoking. Cool, take your pants off. Excuse me.

1:49:26Excuse me. I would just like to say, as a representative of this company, that this show, nor this company, would like to in any way infer, suggest, or imply that urgent care wants to look at your wiener. Unless there's a problem with your wiener. My wiener doesn't smoke, so why would you look at my wiener for smoking? And I'm not inferring that all urgent cares want to look at my wiener. This particular one wanted to look at my wiener. So much, in fact, that I stood there nude as he fondled me. May I ask you a question? May I ask you a question? Fire away. May I ask you a question? Yes. If you went... Oh, God. To the doctor. And I believe I'm getting to the bottom of why he doesn't like doctors. Sexually assaulted. I knew you were molested at an urgent care. Yes. Okay. How old were you? 22, 23. Okay. Here's my question for you. As a 22-year-old adult. Fit. If you go into an urgent care for smoking.

1:50:53And the person wants you to remove your pants and underwear. Why did you do it? I didn't know. I was very, I do as I'm told. Okay. By authority figures most of the time. I understand that. But if you're there for smoking and the person asks you to remove your pants and underwear, don't you at any point say, did you know that I was here for smoking? I thought he was going to like. Oh, yeah. Really? Like a cancer test, maybe. Let me see. I didn't know. Okay, yeah. No, no, no. Probably not. I understand. I don't know. Let me see if your testicles have anything to do with the level of nicotine. Correct. I didn't know. I'm not a doctor. Yeah. All right. And you know all doctors need a testicle check to diagnose how bad your smoking problem is. Correct.

1:51:57Maybe he was doing a full physical and he wanted to give him a hernia. Yeah, but it's a hernia. He wasn't giving him a physical. He belonged in a bathhouse. Who goes to urgent care for smoking? I did. Do you know why? That's another great question. I'll tell you why if you want to listen. I'll tell you why. Hi, doctor. I've come here. Will you let me answer? This is an urgent matter. This is an urgent matter. 911 was busy. 911 was busy. And so I've come to this urgent care because I, in fact, need urgent care. I did. And here is the urgency of my matter. I can't quit smoking. And it's urgent. I need help with this smoking addiction so badly. Now, I'm going to let you know, urgent care nurse, that the ambulance driver that I called before I came here,

1:53:04referred me to a psychiatrist, but because he wouldn't listen to me, I'm here at the score, underline, highlight, urgent care. Slash bathhouse. Why urgent care for a smoking problem? I couldn't get into my family doctor that day, and I wanted this prescription called Zyban. It was supposed to help you quit. And if I went to urgent care, they could write the prescription. I ended up getting the prescription. Also ended up getting other things that I didn't sign up for. So question for you. Need a prescription to help you stop smoking. Can't wait for doctor. Must go urgently. Have an ankle swollen to the size of a cantaloupe. That can wait. Zyban can't wait. Correct. Cantaloupe ankle can wait. I was going back to school the next day, back to college, and wanted to get my prescription. So, feast. You don't have doctors at college? No. Not that my mom was going to pay for it. It won't happen again. What's that? The bathhouse scene? You know exactly what. The bathhouse scene? You know exactly what. It won't happen again. I was like Jodie Foster and the accused. Yes, I was. Big news about Coachella. Big news.

1:54:41And we mentioned it earlier. It's worth mentioning again. The World Health Organization has said something official about cancer and cell phones. And it's big. Now's our chance. Let's do it. More from the Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. Pulled out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. This Sunday. Okay. Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Presented by Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste Greatness. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Leaky Lee. Peter, Bjorn, and John. Band of Skulls. Everest. Performing on the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. And performing wherever he can plug in. Low Bolts. You can't buy tickets.

1:55:48but we will be giving some away. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness. A special thanks to Grubbies and Los Tacos for helping to support this year's Independence Jam. See you this Sunday in Oceanside with FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. Hi there, it's Hillary with some shows she should go check out. Wednesday night, Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra are at Soma. Sunday, it's the sold-out FM 94.9 Independence Jam, Coastal Invasion. Jenny and Donnie play the Casbah on the 10th. The Airborne Toxic Events at House of Blues on the 11th. Meat Puppets are at the Casbah on the 14th. And on June 16th, FM 94.9 presents Matt and Kim and the Thermals at House of Blues. Awkerville Rivers at the Belly Up on the 24th. A Perfect Circle play the open air theater July 26th. Big Sonic Chill presents Sia at House of Blues August 11th. Death Cab for Cuties at the Remack August 16th. 311 and Sublime with Rome hit Cricket Wireless August 19th. September 4th, Kings of Leons at Cricket Wireless.

1:56:53And The Kills play House of Blues again on September 11th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at fm949sd.com. So I'm at the Verizon store because Father's Day is here, my son is graduating, and they're both big into technology. So I asked the sales guy, got anything for techies? And he's like, Tons. Maybe the Android-powered Samsung Galaxy Tab. Or the Motorola Zoom. It's Verizon's first 4G LTE upgradable tablet. So I say, hmm. But in my head I'm thinking. Then I say, okay, but aren't those super expensive? And he says, nope, we've got tablets starting at $199.99. And now my brain's going. Kids are calling the best. Best.

1:58:19surprise of the summer. X-Men First Class. You ready for this? Let's find out. It gives The Dark Knight a run for the best superhero movie ever. Hold on. Summer blockbusters don't come any better than this. X-Men First Class. Rated PG-13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Starts Friday. You want out. You're headed for a divorce. But before you head for an attorney, think about calling a fairway mediation. First, it costs less. considerably less. And it's not about two lawyers fighting tooth and nail over what used to be your marriage. It's you and her figuring out what's best for both of you. It accomplishes what you want. but it's a lot less painful for everyone involved. Call a fairway mediation at 619-702-9174 or online at afairway.com. Save money, your sanity, and some decency in your divorce. Use a fairway mediation. Wherever you're going this summer, stay connected with the ultra-portable BlackBerry Playbook. Visit a Best Buy store today and get it set up just right to make your summer better.

1:59:22Traffic brought to you by Preparation H, new Preparation H totables, discreet little tubes packed with big relief. They're the anywhere Preparation H from the brand doctors recommend most by name among leading brands. In La Mesa, North 125 before Highway 54, police investigation continues where we had an earlier fatal incident, although the lanes are open there. And also the South 5 in San Diego before Palm Avenue. Clearing debris from the right lane. Still a bit busy from Main Street. 15 southbound slow and go from El Norte Parkway to Felicita Road. And the South 5 heavy from Carlsbad to Encinitas. Heavy from Poinsettia Lane to Birmingham Drive. Brandman University, part of the Chapman University system, is a non-profit school focused on working adults. Visit brandman.edu to learn more. Brandman University do better. I'm Judy Gale, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego. Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Last time I stole I was five. I used to stick bubble gum down my pants. Lauren. Man, today would be so much better if I had my kombucha. Woods. What I like to do also is I clip my toenails sometimes as a little treat. I like to put them on Jamie's pillow. Zienna. When they're real, you know. And Jay. Oh, I've pumped water from ditches that you would not believe. On FM 94.9.

2:01:31to tell you about Coachella, and we will in just a moment. Sienna, what's going on in the news? A 51-year-old woman from San Bernardino, Carmen Montenegro, was charged with murder yesterday. She was arrested on Sunday after police discovered a body, body parts that were in a barrel that she was seen pushing down the street. What? Yeah, they don't know who, they haven't identified, they know that it was a man. from the body parts that were discovered in this barrel. They don't know how he died, when he died, where he died, or the relationship between he and this woman. But this is a crazy story. There was also a hole found in the backyard, and they think that they have detected some body fluids inside of this hole. Oh, my. This woman, yeah, just looks not right. I wonder if she's a serial killer. Also, I thought you guys... Making a kick out of this story. There's now a Facebook profile for an unborn baby, Mariah Green. What? She is a fetus. Oh, boy. In her mother's belly. And I wanted to read you some of the things that said on Facebook. The child attends Tummy University. Oh, boy. Enjoys soccer and swimming.

2:02:40And also on the Facebook profile, you can check out her wall. Her name is Mariah Green, again. And she talks in first person. Her friends talk back to her in Baby Talk, of course. And she has over 260 friends. Take it from me, you may not want to count your chickens before they're hatched. Just a little FYI from me to that lady. You may not want to. You may end up with a mini Baby's RS in your backyard. Oh, my goodness. I'm going to move on from that quickly. Within one day of the profile being open, the baby had over 100 friends. And the parents say they... Where's it from? Texas. Texas. White House, Texas. White House? That's what it says. Really? Of White House, Texas. They said that they want to keep the page going so that she can go back and look at it and see all the stuff. Hopefully. Hopefully. I made a site for my son, Luke. Right. Now, the reason that we did this site for Luke is because... The joke was that Luke is like a troublemaker. Not really a joke. True. And so we superimposed little tattoos on him and he had like thug life on his belly. And it was pretty funny. Now, to me, that's very funny. That doesn't fall into necessarily the cute category, more of the funny, lampooning, humorous category. What Sienna just told us about falls into the cute category.

2:04:05Which is nauseating in a way. It's a bit nauseating. And I probably, her and I, that woman and I, would not be a good match. We probably would not be a good match. But you know what? There is different people for everyone, you know, for sure. And so that, you know, obviously that lady's got a special someone that appreciates that. But if my wife... wanted to make a Facebook page for a fetus and say that the fetus went to Belly University. Tummy University. Holy cow. Belly is like their biggest rival. Baby enjoys soccer from all the kicking in the belly and swimming because she's in water. Placenta. Oh my God. Amniotic fluid. Amniotic fluid. I'm impressed you even know that. Oh my gosh. I know. Shut up. Shut up. Stop. Move forward. It's actual audio from her home. From her husband. Shut up. Shut up. Stop. Move forward. Shut up. Shut up. Darling. He's in on it. His name is Matt. Her name is Ellie. Who do you think runs things in the middle? Ellie. Wow. Who do you think...

2:05:32Pick the colors for the wedding. Matt or Ellie. Who do you think picked Mariah's name? Yeah. He wanted, like, Jennifer. She wouldn't even hear the names. She wouldn't want his input. She goes, shut your mouth. No. My mom's name was Renee. Rest her soul. I don't care if your mother's name is Shove It. I don't want it. I want to hear you come up with a name for my baby. Our baby? That's right. Clearly. Scary relationship.

2:06:28Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Sports is brought to us today by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some! Absolutely. Well, former Charger quarterback Ryan Leaf is recovering after doctors removed a benign tumor from his brain stem. 35 years old, man. He was experiencing headaches, dizziness, and blurred vision. And went to the doctor and they said, hey, we've got to get this thing out right now. So he's doing okay and just recovering. So hopefully he... Comes out of that pretty good. And then Albert Hainsworth has one less case to worry about. He has settled with the alleged road rage victim. So they settled out of court and the judge signed off on it. So he's good to go. Now just the old misdemeanor sexual abuse charge. So we'll look forward to that. Oh, wow. Cell phones causing cancers in a minute. But first, Sienna, can you tell me what's going to happen at Coachella in 2012? Yes, it's going to be growing from three days to six days. And from one to two weekends in 2012. Now, there...

2:07:29Coachella's been sold out, and there was over 90,000 people there, so they're doing this so that more people can go. Sounds like three days, one weekend, three days the next week. Right. It's going to be April 13th to the 15th and April 20th to the 22nd. However, they're... Yeah, because no one has jobs, and so people can clearly get two weekends off in a row. That's every job. That's not why they do it. Tickets are already $400 for a weekend. That's not why they're doing it, you guys. They're doing it because the demand is there. Of course, Woods. But imagine you're a fan. Well, not a lot of people are going to go to both weekends. Yeah, but you probably want to. That would be pretty cool. Imagine that there's, you know, a couple of your favorite bands are playing both weekends. You're like, thanks, Coachella. But this way more people can go. Right. Yeah, sure, but you don't. Okay. You know, you're not going to go. It's going to be the same lineup. So if it were different lineups, that would piss me off. So Kings are playing on this weekend and Deftones are playing the next weekend. That's not how it works. It's the Kings are playing this weekend. The Kings are playing next week, and it's the exact same festival. Isn't it the same? It's the exact same festival. Are you sure? The lineups for both weekends will be the same. Oh, really? That's a cool thing. That's incredible. Isn't that rad? Oh, that's incredible. Cool of the performers, for sure. Absolutely. A lot of people wouldn't do that. That's really cool. And they're going to kick it in Palm Springs for a week and just do the whole thing again. It's awesome. Right. But the amount of performers is not going to be any different.

2:08:49So they're, you know, say, I don't know how many people were there last year. A lot. A lot. It's going to be the same amount of performers. That is a like really, really savvy move. Right. Extremely. And so, you know, weekend passes for both Coachella weekends will be going on sale beginning. this Friday, June 3rd at 10 a.m. until the following Friday, June 10th at 10 p.m. So you have a week starting this Friday till next Friday to get the passes. The price of three-day passes, there's no single-day passes. Three-day passes is $269 plus service fees. That is not bad. Not at all. It says it's always been $269 for the sixth consecutive year. I think Jay bought it. You bought some VIP stuff. Yeah, probably. Probably unbeknownst to you, but you did. No, I had no choice. Everybody almost sold out. Yeah. The latest that came out from the... World Health Organization. When I say the latest, I'm talking breaking news. I'm talking about getting an alert on my...

2:09:42mobile device yesterday. Same thing with Sienna. This was big breaking news yesterday. Yes, the World Health Organization announced that radiation from cell phones can possibly cause cancer. They said what we've been hearing, they're now listing mobile phones in the same category as lead, engine exhaust, chloroform, calling it carcinogenic hazards. A team of 31 scientists from 14 different countries, the United States included, made the decision after reviewing studies on cell phone safety. But not like x-rays. They're saying it isn't like x-rays. It's the type of radiation coming out of cell phone is called non-ionizing. It's not like an x-ray, but more like a low-powered microwave oven. Okay. So what that means is that it's slowly cooking. Yes. If you are concerned, you can get a headset or an earpiece. They say that that will eliminate... But who would be concerned? Everyone. Who would possibly, if you're concerned, you can get a headset. And they do say that. The World Health Organization says if you're concerned, you can get a headset or you can get Bluetooth or whatever. But my question, World Health Organization, is when you say if you're concerned, that must mean I don't fall into the category of people that go, oh. What? I'm not concerned.

2:11:10He doesn't care. Woods. I don't care. You don't care. No. You don't care. No. That something's slowly cooking. I'm like, hello. It doesn't bother me. It's cooking your brain. No. How come? What will be will be, my friend. Nothing I'm not going to do anything about. What does that mean? What? Nothing will be, will be. What does that mean? Whatever will be, will be. Whatever will be, will be. You cannot lose your mind worrying about everything that could happen. Or you'll literally lose your mind if you're worried about things in the air. You don't have to worry about it if you don't do it. I don't walk around with a SARS mask on either. Well, for good reason. There ain't no SARS here. Okay, but you know what I mean. I don't. See, there's no SARS here, so there's no reason to walk around with a mask. But they've proved to the World Health Organization. You can improve. You're cooking your noggin. They think. I'm like L.O.B. with doctors. That's how I am about scientists. I'm like, we'll see. Because there's always these reports. These reports have been going on for a while. See, my brother, my brother Steve, you don't wear a seatbelt. I go, how come you don't wear a seatbelt? He goes, eh, when it's my time, it's my time. It's a good bit. This is what I say to him. I go, guess what? Could be your time to be in a wheelchair. Changed him. He now wears a seatbelt. I said, what if it's your time to be in a wheelchair?

2:12:27Fair enough. Because it may not be your time to die, but it may be your time to get in a wreck. Yeah. Are you going to not put your cell phone up to your ears? No. Really? Oh, wait. Oh, wait. I guess I am. Yeah. You have to. Unless you get... Well, see, all I was thinking about was driving. Yeah, all the time. Get a landline. But then I thought... Walk around with your earpiece. In the house. What about that? Headset. LLB's got one handy. Lauren O'Brien. So when you call your boyfriend after this, you're going to put that in. I mostly text, but I will be using this. In the house. Why not? Could the same radiation go through your hands? No. No. Why? Well, maybe it could, but it's not going to give you hand. It's not going to travel that far. We're all experts on radiation. No, but okay. Isn't it getting into your body? It's going to decrease the likelihood. Isn't it going to?

2:13:27If it cooks my palm slowly, that doesn't concern me as much as cooking my brain. My brain's already pretty much cooked, pal. So what are you going to do? I want to preserve it. I want to. It scares me. Not enough to do something about it. Right. That's my thing. Okay. I didn't think about the whole thing. When I saw it, I went, ooh, that's interesting. And then I went. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Hello. Yeah. And, you know, same deal. It's not going to scare me enough. Now, if they said it definitively causes cancer, it'd be a different story. But I smoke and I know cigarettes cause cancer. That's true. There you go. Maybe you should go to urgent care. Maybe you should feast. Okay. Speaking of Jay, we all have different dynamics with our significant other. But it's the dynamics of others. That always fascinate me. Sienna will tell me about something going on with Todd. And I'll go, wow, that's so different than me and Rebecca. I'll tell you about something with me and Rebecca. And you go, holy cow, that would never be a deal with me and Todd. Yesterday, Jay, our producer, 47 years of age, four kids, a wife of how many years? 24. He's been married to his wife, Kim, for 24 years. And Kim knows how to get him.

2:14:52Now, all of our spouses know exactly how to get us. If I want to get Rebecca, all I got to do is walk out of the room. She'll lose her cockadoony mind. Okay. In an argument? Oh, yeah. Okay. You do not. Now, she reserves the right to be able to walk out of an argument. Because it doesn't drive me lully. Right. You know, there's other things that drive me lully. Now, we all got stuff that'll drive us lully. Jay says yesterday. I was trying to move some boxes into the house from the garage. Kim had about three sets of shoes stacked behind the door. So I freaked out and threw them across the garage. Yes, he pulled a wood. Later, Kim asked, where are my shoes? And I told her that they had been blocking the door. And so I moved them.

2:15:57When I went into the garage to feed the dog, there was a wall of my shoes blocking the dog. A wall. So she had gone in and gotten all of your shoes. All of my shoes. And I have a lot of shoes. And belt a wall. Yeah. Wow. Just across the door. They were stacked knee high. Well played. God, brilliant. Kim knows how to get them. Now. That's so awesome. So question, Jay. I want you to walk me through. said freak out. Because if I went outside and there were three sets of shoes stacked behind the door, it wouldn't drive me crazy. It would be a minor inconvenience. So I've got this box, right? This big box, heavy box. And the door handle comes out and it kind of goes like that at an angle, right? So I'm over there. I've got the box. Okay, get in the door, get in the box. And I kind of push the door open. But it won't fit. So I'm...

2:17:00Back and forth. Hitting this thing in the small of my back. I'm just like. Yeah. Yeah. I throw the box down. I get you. I look behind the door. Yep. And there are those damn shoes. Yeah, I get it. I get it. Now, what were the shoes doing there? That's where she likes to stack them. They don't wear shoes in our house. We don't wear shoes in our house. So when you come in, like my shoes are usually all everywhere. But they're. Yeah, I know. But why has that never happened in the past? Because I never had a big box. I know, but when you're... So what you're telling me, though, is that when you go out every time, you do run into the shoes, but it doesn't matter because you don't have a box in hand? I don't have to open the door all the way. This, I need to open the door all the way to fit through. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. Now I know. Now I got you. This is what's crazy about it, though. Nothing changed. She didn't pull a fast one. She didn't do anything different. She did everything the way that she's done it. And right now, if Kim's listening, she's like, You got it, Mikey. I didn't do it. She didn't do anything different. She never said a word about it. We never even talked about it. I never even let her know that the Wallace shoes bugged me. I didn't say a word. I just pushed them aside. That is hysterical, immature, hysterical, highly immature, and hysterical. Yep. We're both very tired from camping over the weekend. I'm trying to think what makes me crazy.

2:18:37I got a billion things that make Rebecca crazy. A billion things. I leave my stuff all over. I leave it everywhere. And even after this many years of marriage, she does the thing where she's like, well, I'll just let him, I'll let it stay there until it drives him mad. She doesn't realize that I'm a things camel. I can go months and months and months without picking up my things. Just like a camel. I've noticed. Ouch. Collection of belts and shirts and undershirts. Fair enough. Pans, dishes, bowls, cups. Copperware. Medicine. Utensils. Sombreros. Sombreros. Ponchos. Donkeys. Enchiladas. Piñatas. Tommy Bahama. I don't know where to put things. That's my problem. I'd put them in a car and take them home. I wonder why I don't like to do that. There's something psychological about it. I don't like to do it. I wonder what it means. Where men walk in and think it's our house and do whatever we want. This shirt is going to go on top of the hamper instead of inside the hamper. Because I can. But he's right. I have no less than three thermal tops in our studio that I've taken off because it's too hot. And I put them on the couch. One time I wore a belt.

2:20:17And realized that I didn't need a belt. My pants weren't going anywhere. They were much too tight. So I removed the belt. And I put it with my other laundry in the studio. With the other laundry or just in another place? In another place, yes. In another place. They're scattered about. Now, Jay brings up a good point. What is it psychologically? Why do I not take it home? It's yours. You can do what you want with it. It's work. Did your mom always pick up after you? No, she got angry at me. See, my mom did pick up after me. My mom did not, and she got angry at me. I think you just cracked the code. Now that I'm an adult, I'm like, nobody's going to get mad at me. Right. But then I married a woman who gets mad at me. And hired a producer. Who gets mad at me. Yes. Now, Woods leaves things around. Because he thinks that his wife will do what his mom did, pick up after him. It's a true statement. Does she? Yeah. She does. Just like your mom. Yeah. My wife is very maternal. Very maternal. This is fascinating. Which is why my mother adores her. Adores. Love isn't a strong enough word for the way my mom feels about Jamie. Because she knows that I'm in good hands.

2:21:55Rebecca will not put the toilet paper on the roll. She'll take the toilet paper roll and she'll stick it on top of the cardboard empty. Laziness. Sheer laziness. I will also leave it just on the floor. Just the roll, just next to the toilet. Oh, my God. With the trash can in front of the toilet where I put my laptop. And just leave that there. And then I've told you before, in the middle of the night, my wife will go pee and you'll hear... And that's the trash can knocking over. And then you hear her curse at me. And I lay up. Pretending to be sleeping. Pretending to be asleep. Or monsters. Or I just laugh. You should take a road trip with Woods. Bottles and chewed up pieces of everything. Tape from his ankles. Shoes that he left behind. Oh, my flip flops. Yeah, you're not getting those back. No, you bet you would. And it's crazy because Jay hates that about us. He wants clean workspace. Yet.

2:23:03I've been in Jay's garage. Fred Sanford walked in and goes, this is the messiest garage I've ever seen. True. I have everything, though. Everything is in there. You're like, hey, I need something to scaffold. I got a scaffold. It's right in the back. Wow. Yeah. Silly. Sienna, what does Todd do that makes you kooky? Oh, my gosh. Well, he likes to eat snacks late at night. And the new thing that he's been doing is like getting something with a bowl, like some soup or some cereal. And he waits until Sage is asleep. And I'm like crazy mom. Like, don't make any noise. Sage is sleeping. Don't wake her up. And he takes that bowl and that spoon and he scrapes, scrapes, scrapes, scrapes. And I'm like, just get the cereal. Like, why do you have to scoop the bowl in with the spoon? And it's like, does it wake Sage up though? I'm convinced because she's made noises. And he's like, she can't hear the bowl. And I'm like, yeah, she can. So he can't stand that I'm so crazy about waking stage. And he's like, I mean, every scoop, every scoop, it's louder than that. It's like, I can't get something out of. I'm like, babe. Just, why do you have to scoop the bowl? Can I tell you what Todd deals with? Yeah. Tell you what Todd deals with. I'm hot. From Sienna's recap.

2:24:27Yesterday, Todd and I bought a new bed, upgraded from a queen to a king, and I'm pretty sure Todd wanted to kill me while we were trying to pick our new mattress, but I didn't care. I had to lie on every single mattress in the store multiple times, even the ones that were out of our price range. Todd would be talking to the sales guy, and I would yell to him from across the store, quote, I like this one, but I don't know if I love it. Oh, my God. Or, hey, babe, come try this one. Pretend you're sitting on the edge of the bed putting on your shoes. Oh, my God. Is it just me or does it feel weird? This was on Memorial Day, so it was really packed. Todd was mortified. Oh, yeah. That's why I just let Jamie go do all that stuff. I made him come.

2:25:30She made him go. Forced him. Yeah, because most guys don't want to go. Yeah, guys don't want to do that. Yeah, you don't want to do that mess. It's ridiculous. Our bedroom furniture showed up one day. And I go, oh, this is what you went with. Rad, looks great. I don't care. You do it. It's going to make you happy. I don't have to go. Here's my credit card. See, I have input. I do not. I don't want it. And I don't need it. How's your couch, Mike? I picked the couch. Now, see, but L.O.B. brings up a great point. She brings up a great point. You can ask Rebecca in how many years of marriage has Mike actually picked out something, you know? Now, our upstairs bedroom is gorgeous if you're a 31-year-old single woman that has a very good job. You don't like it. If you're a 31-year-old woman who is very self-sufficient and just bought a brand new condo or home and you decorated it and you're a woman, you have no man in your life. Of course you don't. That's why it's baby blue. Our bedroom's the same. So is mine. We actually have blue walls. Do you guys realize that you're married to men? You know that.

2:26:58Yeah, they don't have a say. The bed Todd had a say because he would complain if he didn't like it because he used to lie on it. Everything else I don't care about. I'll do it. Rebecca has the right. Jamie has the right. Yeah, just let them do their thing. That's my bit. I'll pay for it. They get it. Then they're happy. You know what that is? Less of this in your ear. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Happy wife, happy life, pal. Who spends more money on impulse buys? Men or women? 570-1949. The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Life's better with baseball. You can feel it in the air. The 2011 Padre season is underway. Join Mark Grant and me, Dick Enberg, for more than 145 Padre games in HD. And be sure to like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter all season long.

2:28:13For 15 years, Channel 4 has been your front row seat. Channel 4. The Padres wrap up their series with the Braves, 345 Wednesday. Channel 4 is your home for Padres postgame analysis. We've brought the best baseball minds together to highlight, review, and scanalicize. Yeah, that's right. Join me, Jenny Kavnar, along with the entire team for the Saquon Casino postgame show following most Padres games. There's a rumor that San Diego is home to one of the most brilliant, insightful, and educational culinary TV shows ever created. And then there's my show. But it's big in taste and small in effort. Sam the Cooking Guy, Sundays at 5.30 and 7 p.m. only on Channel 4 San Diego. Go epic on three new coasters at Six Flags, including the 100-mile-an-hour backwards-blasting Superman Escape from Krypton and the 360-degree spinning coaster Green Lantern First Flight, coming soon. Save $25 on admission at SixFlags.com. Hurry. Offer ends June 5th. Go big. Go Six Flags Magic Mountain.

2:29:23I'm your overly optimistic husband who assured you we had enough gas to make it home. Apparently, the power of positive thinking is far less valuable than the power of gasoline. Hope you have Good Hands Roadside Assistance. Introducing Good Hands Roadside from Allstate. A different kind of roadside assistance. You'll never pay a dime unless you use it. And it's open to everyone, not just Allstate customers. Go to allstate.com slash roadside to register and get important information. Cue a grill. Cue the over-enthusiastic chef with the lighter fluid. Cue the steaks, breasts, thighs. Cue the amigos bearing generous libations. Cue the fumbled bottle of Jose Cuervo. Cue the crowd's gasp. Cue the slow-motion dive. Cue the catch. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo.

2:30:16Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Huebline, Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the trademark owner. Get two free tires when you buy two. On select tires at Big O Tires. Friday through Monday only. 7 a.m. till noon. With the purchase of an alignment and premium installation. Only at participating Big O Tires. Traffic is brought to you by Best Buy. Wherever you go this summer, stay connected. With the ultra-portable BlackBerry Playbook, visit a Best Buy store today and get it set up just right to make your summer better. I-8 East Bend right after I-15. We do have a crash reported here. Clue to wreck for Highway 56 West Bend before Carmel Valley Road. But still slow from Rancho Pinasquitos. Stays busy down to the 5, although the lanes are clear. And heavy traffic here, Highway 94 West. Westbound busy between 47th Street over 2 I-5. Police activity remains on 125 northbound before Highway 54. Earlier a fatal incident, but the lanes are open there as well. And brought to you by SeaWorld San Diego, OneOcean, the all-new Shamu Show at SeaWorld is now open. Dive into participating McDonald's and pick up a coupon to save $20 on admission for all ages. Restrictions apply. I'm Judy Gale, FM 94.9.

2:31:30Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm a right-wing NRA guy. Lauren. Yes, I'm gullible. We get it. No, we don't. Give me a break. Woods. No, I don't play online because why? I don't like to play other people. Why? Because I'm selfish. Sienna. You know, I really don't even know what color my hair is. It's like brown, red. There's a little bit of blonde. It changes. And Jay. You didn't use nails when you made that treehouse? Yeah, I didn't want to hurt the tree with nails going in. On FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. You too. Garrett. Zuropa. Highly underrated. Wig. Mean or something. Any of the guys in this band ever had a fresh marijuana cigarette? I need to make a Doobie Brothers playlist. Do you really? Oh, yeah, dude. You're not into Doobie Brothers? It's like a couple songs. A whole playlist might make me go mental. I'd only have like five songs in there because they only had five real big ones, didn't they? It's true. I think. I don't know. Okay, so. Do men?

2:33:09Or women. Spend more money on impulse buys. Men or women. Here's what it says. From askmen.com. Yeah. Askmen.com. Men spend more. The average person. The average guy. Spends $114,293. On impulse buys. In their lifetime. Women are more thoughtful. They think it out. Men. They just buy it. Feels good, do it. That's your motto? No, but. All right. It's my credo. It's your credo? Yes. If it feels good, do it, buy it. Obviously, it hasn't gotten him into any trouble. No, never. Never. Lauren, are you an impulse buyer? Come on. Of course not. Lauren takes, this is just an average, I'd say 14 to 15 months on average to make a purchase.

2:34:19But it could be as long as 36 to 48 months. Purchase over, let's say, $14. No. If it's under $30, I'm very random and impulsive. If it's over $30, definitely taking some time. That's your limit, $30. How long would it take you, LOB, to buy a $200 standing lamp? I'd probably go back for two visits. Holy cow. Or at least like... dog ear it and then look around before I just, you know. So there's no way that you would go, all right, I need one of these and that you go to the store and come home with one. If I really needed it, like today I'm actually going to get a TV stand. I have a limit in mind and I would like to leave the store with one. You have a limit. This is going to be good. In mind. Yes. What's the limit? $250. That's very reasonable. I think you'll do great. I did a lot of research online. Of course you did. For exactly what I wanted. And that seems to be a ballpark figure. I'm convinced I can get it for much less. But I've reasoned with myself to accept that. Because time is money. I need a TV stand. How much do you think you can get it for? 180. Confident. I can get it for under 200. I think you can. I know the place.

2:35:48I just, you know, it's so foreign to me. I can't imagine going to various places. In fact, oh, the thought of it. Never. Now, the thought to L.O.B. of just going to someplace willy-nilly. Disgusting. I have a lot of buyer's remorse, so if I see something and just, like, this happened with my last car, I was like, I don't care. I don't need to touch that. I want the cheapest car in the lot. I'm riding a bicycle right now. Just give it to me and go. I don't care what the rate is. Let's just go. Let's do this thing. Let's get out of here. And the minute I drove the car off the lot, I was like, I hate this thing. Why? So it was the worst car ever. But I just like to, I see what other people have then afterwards. And I go, if I would have just shopped around, I would have seen that that was out there. Now I'm stuck with this thing until it runs its course. It's great. It's fascinating. It is. My God, it's fascinating. M1 Christian from Vista. Are you there? Yeah. What do you think? I think women are impulse buyers for the most part, especially when it comes to clothes. I mean, I'm engaged. My fiance will go, you know, I'm going to get a blouse, and she'll go and come back with, like, three. And, you know, I understand, you know, she has her taste, and it's hard to find clothes. But for guys, I think it's like we don't, I don't know, just don't want to spend 30 minutes looking for something when we know what we want. It's like, I know what I want. I'm going to get it.

2:37:09I wouldn't call it impulse buying. I just say it's, hey, I know what I want to get. Knowing what you want. The wife and I are the opposite. I'm the impulse buyer. I'll tell her I'm going to get one thing, come home with three. My wife does not impulse buy and always tells me when she's going to get something and what she's going to get. And she's pretty reasonable about it. And I'm really fortunate because I hear about men that are married to women. who do that who go spend money and they will spend a lot of it and they'll spend things and uh rebecca can't do that because if she did we'd be broke because i don't control it in fact i have no idea where our money goes i just know that we have a budget that we have to meet you know yeah and the first part of it always goes to god i don't even see it neither does she and so After that, I don't know where it goes. She does. She does. Yeah. I've actually witnessed your wife on bill day. I've seen it with my own eyes. You have? I came over to your house to watch a movie with you. And your wife had a trough is the best word to describe the amount of bills and stuff spread out on the table. And I go, bill day? And she's like, mm-hmm.

2:38:37Did she have like a visor and bifocals and like a paper calculator? She was... I was... I looked at that stack of bills and I was like... In my mind, I was like, wow, they haven't paid their bills in six months. You obviously had. It's just a lot of them. Yeah, we got bills. Just a lot of stuff. A lot of Amazon. Tommy Bahama. Apple. There's direct deposit with Tommy Bahama. Yeah, they just... Rigoberto's. Bed Bath & Beyond. Starla Taub. They already said it. They already said that. Mikey Show. Oh, boy. He's getting cocky. How about bacon? How much your bacon bill, Mike? Yeah. How much the pork chop bill? Hundreds of dollars a week. Mike, if the average man spends $114,000 over a lifetime on impulse buy, how much do you think you spent?

2:39:47Last year, turkey and turkey brooks. What about Crisco? How much Crisco did you consume? What about ham, Mike? How much do you think you've spent on ham? It'd be cheaper than just get your own pig farm. Yeah. I mean, you won't save money. You don't save money, Mike. Plus, you get to butcher pigs. Yeah, if you don't save money, Mike, for a guy like you. How many Wendy's locations are you the most valued customer? You know, Mike, you know how a lot of Wendy's have a picture in there? And the store says employee of the month. You got a custom picture. Daddy of the month all over San Diego. That's just to the year, isn't it? You know when McDonald's started saying over one billion sold? At one billion, that was you. That's just to you. That was you. I never told anybody in a small print. Ray Kroc. You're at Ray Kroc's will, all right? Yeah, he's over McDonald's. He's using it all to you. You bought it. You own it. You own it.

2:40:57You didn't have stockholders in cheeseburgers. Anything that happens at McDonald's, you win. You know Bob's Big Boy? That's you. Well, you bought it, Mike. Before you, it was just called Bob's Boy. It was just called Bob's. It used to be called Bob's. It used to be called Bob's. You know Long John Silver? You're going to buy it. Not John Silver. Pretty soon, we're going to have Fat Lobster. Taco Fat. Fat Town Buffet. Fat Town. Fat King. Del Fat. Fatios. Del Fatos. Fat Burger. You just call it Burger. El Pollo Gordo. In a Fat Burger. In a Fat. Fat Burger. Oh, wait. Shoot. It's Burger. It's Burger. What's the Italian joint? Olive Garden? Yeah, Fat Garden. When you're fat, you're family.

2:42:07M1 Detail from Oceanside. What up, dude? What up? Yeah. Good to have you, bro. I know. Hey, check it out. I've already said this before. Women will spend $2 on an item that normally costs a dollar. Or it's backwards. Women will spend a buck. Come on, Jay. Women will spend a buck on an item that costs two bucks. Just because it's on sale. The man will spend two dollars on an item that normally costs a dollar only if he needs it. Yeah. A woman comes home and she's got vacuum bags and you have a bagless vacuum. It's on sale. It was on sale. You have a Dyson that doesn't use vacuum bags, but she'll do that because it was on sale.

2:43:15I agree. I agree, too. I agree with you 100% detail. Thank you. But, babe, it's on sale. All right. Again, one of those things. She comes in with bags. I go, great. That's another one of those things. I don't understand. Why do women spend so much money on items that they're not going to use it? They just do it. It costs $2, but they'll go, no, it was on sale. I bought 40 pounds of dog food. We don't own a dog. Honey, I just bought a crate of llama food because it was only $14. We don't have a llama. Why do you have it? It's a true story, though, right? I am an impulse buyer. You are. I was with you at Sur La Table. You were just impulse buying like crazy. I was. You had to get some 12-year-old balsamic vinaigrette. You had to have it. Wow. Oh, sorry, 10-year-old. Balsamic. And we had to sample it. They let you sample it? Oh, yeah. Put a little on a toothpick. We didn't have to. I did. We didn't have to, but I did. Okay. Rampage Jackson, UFC fighter, was interviewed by a female reporter and had this to say. I'm here with Quentin Rampage Jackson. They're talking really fast right here. Because they told me you don't have much time. I don't have that much time. I got to go to my after party right now.

2:44:52You got a lot of fans. I'm curious, how do the homeboys respond to you? Because, you know, I don't necessarily see a lot of... Black folk. Yeah. Man, the black folk love me. I love black folk because I'm black. But, you know, I love everybody. But black folk love me, man. Black girls love me, too, man. I get hit on by black girls all the time. I be like, ooh, I be showing my nipple. I be doing my nipple dance. Black girls love me, man. I love them black girls back, too, man. I be loving me some black women. Are you black? Part, yeah. I love all parts of you. Even the black part. What other part are you? I'm Jamaican black and white. She's Jamaican me hornet. Wow. I know you got to get to your party. Thank you. Congratulations. She's hot, ain't she? That's why I gave her the interview. She's hot. Thank you, Rampage. I want a motorboat right now. Holy cow. I want a motorboat. I want a motorboat right now. Oh, wow. Wow. What a sign off. Well, thank you for the interview, Mr. Jackson. So much, Rampage. She's just making me want it. Mike. Yeah. Did you find it odd that she asked him, what do the homeboys think of you? Yeah. I thought that was a little odd. Yeah. Why? What do the homeboys think of you? Yeah, what do the homeboys think of you? You could ask me that question. I'll give you a legitimate answer. Ask me. What do the homeboys think of you? Most of them think I'm a coconut. Do you know what a coconut is? Dark on the outside, white on the inside. Correct. That's what most homeboys think of me. So am I to assume that the homeboys are African-American fellas? Well, I don't know.

2:46:26That's what I was saying. I don't know. That's a weird way for an interviewer to be like, hey, what do you think of the homeboys? I'd be loving me some black women. Fair enough. Who doesn't? I love all parts of you. I'm just saying. Man, the black folks love me. I love black folks because I'm black. So weird. Thank you, Rampage. I get hit on by black girls all the time. Didn't ask you, but that's cool. Man, the black folks love me. I love black folks because I'm black. You already told me that. I get hit on by black girls all the time. You told me that, too. I love me some black women. I know. You said that. Man, the black folks love me. Okay. Got it, got it, got it, got it. You love all parts? I love all parts of you. All right, great. Say what up, black people? I didn't think that was a weird question. You guys thought that was weird that she asked for the homeboys? Until she said that she was part black as well, I thought it was weird. Oh, yeah. Well, once she says she's part black, doesn't that make it okay, Sienna? You're in a club then. No, it's still weird. It is? Yeah. What do the homeboys think of you? Strange choice. Strange choice of words, but... What do you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? You motorboating son of a bitch, you old sailor, you. That's the greatest. It is. I didn't play that.

2:47:41Didn't you? Jay just played that. They look pretty good. Are they real? Are they built for speed or for comfort? All right, so here's the thing. I could ask a Latino, if I were interviewing a Latino boxer or something, I could say, hey, what Latinos think? How are you doing the Latino community? Latinos are different than homeboy. What if you said, what do the essays think of you? That would be weird. No, not the essays. Because essays don't call each other essays. Do black people call each other homeboys? What's up, homeboy? Sup, homie? I don't think so. No? Let's get a black person on the line, preferably a man that's strong, and ask him. We don't have to ask. We don't know that. We've never heard a Mexican guy say to a Mexican guy, Sup, Holmes? I've heard that. I've heard them say S.A. too. Sup, S.A.? But that's different. I'll tell you.

2:48:42I know this answer. Nobody in the Latino community says, yeah, I was hanging out with my essays. They don't say that. Well, what if I was interviewing LOB and I said, so what do the crackers think about you? That's weird. That's derogatory. Is it? It would be like saying the N-word. That's derogatory. It is. Okay. One's derogatory. Cracker is derogatory? Yes. You can call me Cracker anytime you want. Well, maybe I can. That doesn't change the fact that it's derogatory. Reach for the sky, honky. Also derogatory. Honky. M1 Twizzle from San Diego is on the line. Hi, Twizzle. How you doing? How you doing? I'm all right. I just heard the term that you say we all call each other black. No, I didn't say all. Please. We call each other other words, but homeboys isn't one of them. That's what I thought. Tell me some of the other ones. Oh, wow. Yeah, sign me up for that. It's okay, though. I mean, I'm allowed to say it because... Black folk love, man. I love black folk because I'm black. There you go. Right. So you're telling me that in the black community, the term homeboys is not said. Homeboy is, if anything, lean towards Latinos. If anything... That's my thought.

2:49:58We might say that's my boy. That's my dog. Well, maybe she wanted to know what the Mexican community. But no, he answered. They obviously have because he answered with talking about black people. Right. So that was my, didn't you think that's a weird question to ask a black fighter? Hey, what do the homeboys think about you? I thought that was very strange. Honestly, I think that is a weird question, but I can see where she's coming from. Like trying to be like, you know, on his level. Like, hey, well, what are your friends you grew up with? Right. That's true. That makes sense. It's going to sound funny, if anything. White people trying, and she's part black, but white people trying to talk that way is interesting. He's a black woman, though. I'd be loving me some black women. M1, Pete from San Diego. Pete, are you, oh. You hung up on him. I didn't? I think so. All right. I love all parts of you. Brothers? That would make more sense. Son? What do the brothers think? What's up, son? Girl, how drunk is you? I get hit on by black girls all the time. Okay. All right. You don't have to convince me. I get hit on by black girls all the time. I know that. You said it. You know, he's hanging out with the big dogs, you know. I be loving me some black women. Be married. Welcome. Got it. Man, the black folks love me. I love black folks because I'm black. Thank you. This statistic filthified me. Made me sick. What?

2:51:38What, what, what, what, what, what? It's on the TV right now, Mike. People performing gospel or jazz, all of the above while we're talking about this. Let's everybody just settle down. Okay. Just bring him back in. Did a face dive into the beat picture. On his bad ankle. You're making me haunted. Is that sexual harassment? I think it is. Okay. I say when he asked a motorboat or it might have gone that way. So here's the deal. This is a real statistic. This was a question that was asked of a very large sample of men and women. What they wanted to know from the men and the women was, how much underwear do you pack if you're taking a one-week trip? Oh, yeah. Seven days. Seven-day trip. The answer is disgusting.

2:53:02And wrong, I think. The average man. No, it's not wrong because it's the average. Maybe it's not what you do, but it's the average. The average man packs three pair of underwear for a one-week trip. How could that be? Carry on. The average woman packs ten pair of underwear. Now, I am the average. I'm not going to give you the opportunity. To isolate. But I do the latter. What the women do. I do the latter. You do what the girls do. I pack 10 because... Skid marks. Oh, man. Holy cow. And it's all over! Just take a deep breath, Mike. Holy cow. And boom goes the dynamite. Holy cow.

2:54:04It's okay. Oh. It's okay. Are you okay? Holy crap. Holy crap. Mike. It was rough, that one. Yeah. Dear Facebook. Got me to the core. Jay is so freaking hilarious. He can do no wrong. I love when he humiliates Mike. Keep going, Jay. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Capital L. Capital O, capital L. With five exclamations. L-M-A-O. It is so funny to hear Mikey's childhood revisited in such a way. You make Mikey so uncomfortable. Miguel! It is so funny. When Mikey is humiliated. My favorite part of the show is when Jay puts Mike on a spit. The rest of you, how dare you insult Jay. When we come back, we're going to discuss this. 570-1949. Do you have any input on this? Average guy, three pair for a week. Average girl.

2:55:21Ten pair. Oh, my God. It's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. It's sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. This Sunday, Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Presented by Triple Hops. You can't buy tickets.

2:56:22But we will be giving some away. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness. A special thanks to Grubbies and Los Tacos for helping to support this year's Independence Jam. See you this Sunday in Oceanside with FM 94.9. HalfPriceSanDiego.com brings you great deals every week to local area restaurants, spas, golf, retail, and more. Sign up for free now at HalfPriceSanDiego.com. Looking for rock-bottom prices on a huge selection of pottery, planters, vases, and fountains? Canyon Pottery is having its biggest blowout sale ever. Everything's at least 40% off retail, and many items have double markdowns for even bigger savings. Visit Canyon Pottery in the Terracotta building on Arrow Drive in Kearney Mesa. And this week at HalfPriceSanDiego.com, we have an amazing half-price deal to the Ryan Thomas Hair Studio. From avant-garde to classic, the stylists of Ryan Thomas Hair Studio create the latest styles with artful precision. Their creative team is at the forefront of innovation both technically and artistically, providing clients with gorgeous color and chic cuts in the luxurious comfort of their custom-designed studio.

2:57:24Go to RyanThomasHairStudio.com and see why they were voted Best Salon by San Diego Magazine. Our members save money all the time, and you can too at HalfPriceSanDiego.com. What is value? Buying those tickets for the game where the seats are located exactly behind the column? You gotta have x-ray, man. Now think about your cell phone. You and I know that value means getting all the quality you need at the right price. Whether you upload, download, send, receive, or just text that to say hola. You need a network that can deliver real value. And that network is Verizon. Switch now to America's largest high-speed wireless network and get unlimited data for only $29.99 monthly access when added to a voice plan. And celebrate Father's Day with our great deals on Droid phones, like the new and powerful Droid X2. Or give a global-ready Droid Pro for $99.99 after a $50 mail-in rebate debit card. or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon. Papa, there's only one. New two-year activation and data pack required. Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details in Spanish at verizonwireless.com. If I told you my grandma used to give me mother's cookies, I'd be lying. She didn't exactly give them to me. She was far craftier than that, which is why I loved her. She had this whole method.

2:58:47She'd plant some circus animal cookies on her dresser, and then she'd send me on a decoy mission to go get something for my quote-unquote forgetful old grandmother. Then, to distract Mom, she'd create a diversion. To buy me some time, she'd really milk it, too, so I could pop the cookies in my mouth and quietly let the pink frosting dissolve on my tongue. It was all kind of genius, or at least I thought it was, until my mom became a grandma herself. A crafty grandma. That's when I realized that mom was in on it all along. Now, so am I. And my daughter thinks the whole thing is just awesome. Mother's cookies. There's a memory in every bite. Prepare for an adventurous career by earning a professional certificate in marine technology from National University Polytechnic Institute. Available specializations include advanced dive medicine and underwater inspection technology. Classroom courses and hands-on training are held at our convenient San Diego campus. National University Polytechnic Institute provides assistance with job placement. Financial aid is available for those who qualify. Learn more at nupolytech.org. nupolytech.org. This Friday, mankind will know that mutants exist. Discover the movie critics are calling the biggest, best surprise of the summer.

3:00:10X-Men First Class. You ready for this? Let's find out. It gives the Dark Knight a run for the best superhero movie. Hold on. Buster's Don't X-Men First Class. Rated PG-13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Starts Friday. This is proud to be a sponsor for this year's Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. While you're at the concert, make sure to stop by the Grubby's booth and experience the best burgers in North County. You're headed for a divorce, but before you head to an attorney, think about calling a fairway mediation. First, it costs considerably less. Second, it works with both of you, not paid lawyers, to figure out what's best. Call 619-702-9174 or online at afairway.com.

3:00:55Traffic is brought to you by the 99 cents only stores. Wish your graduates success for less. Pick up festive decorations, balloons, and party supplies for only 99.99 cents each. Congratulations to all the graduates from your friends at 99 cents only stores. Multi-vehicle crash here in San Diego, west I-8, right before the 163, backed up to the 805. It's the middle lanes that are blocked, and it continues slow past the crash from Taylor towards the 5. I-15 northbound before Valley Parkway. Watch out for wood debris in the roadway. And I-8 eastbound right after the 15. Still working a crash. Traffic is heavy as you approach. West 56 slow between Black Mountain Road and Carmel Valley Road due to an earlier accident. And Shop Jared, the gallery of jewelry with five times the selection of ordinary jewelry stores. Find a Jared store or shop anytime at jared.com. I'm Judy Gale, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I love that iPhone. It really is great. Lauren. I've taken a striptease class before. Woods. Yeah, that kid doesn't like to be told what to do. Sienna. Why keep the antibacterial hand gel in my purse at all times? And Jay. I'm going to open my beer right as we start. On FM 94.9.

3:02:57Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, there is an E. coli outbreak in Europe right now, which is leaving experts stunned. Sixteen people have died, and more than a thousand people have become sick with E. coli poisoning. Scientists are still unsure exactly what country and what produce is responsible for this. They're thinking the vast majority is coming from Germany, and actually two cases have been reported in the U.S. Both people had recently traveled to Germany. Woods, this next one is for you. Jesse, a four-year-old Jack Russell Terrier, like, that's what I do to these. A four-year-old Jack Russell Terrier was trapped for seven days under nearly 50 tons of rock. This happened in Australia. Jesse and Porter, his owner, Steve Porter, were rabbit hunting near their home, and he darted after a cat and became trapped 11 feet underground beneath two... His owner, Steve Porter, spent $2,000 to rescue the pup. It took over a week. They would send food down on fencing wire, and they say it's a miracle. The rock, they had to get a rock-breaking truck to break the rock and free Jesse. Yes. And he's alive and doing well. He said, I did it. A lot of people would have given up on Jesse. No way. He said, no, dogs are man's best. So resilient, man. Oh, it's incredible.

3:04:17Woodsy, what's going on in sports? The L.A. Lakers have made it official that their new head coach is Mike Brown. He used to coach LeBron in Cleveland, and they have signed him to be their new head coach. So big story out of L.A. is that they did not consult with Kobe Bryant before they hired Mike Brown. But Kobe says, hey, it's all good. Figure it out. We have to run every time. He'll have to remember that. I know. Good thing he said that. Yeah, absolutely. And if you didn't hear earlier, the Padres have won four straight, and the NBA Finals kicked off last night with the Miami Heat beating the Dallas Mavericks 92-84. All right, so the question that was asked to a very large panel of men and women was, when you go on a vacation for a week, how many underwear do you pack? Average guy packs three pairs, the average woman 10. Now, I'll do the 10 because I don't know what's going to happen. I mean, what if I... Go on. What if I... I don't know. Go swimming in the middle of the day. You had a fresh pair on in the morning. Then you went swimming and you showered after going in the ocean or something. Maybe you go work out. I don't know. Really? Would you do more than 10? Because I would. I would. You would do more than that? I'd go more than that for a seven-day trip. For a week? Probably 12 to maybe 14. I'm not kidding. And I'd come home with six to seven pair. Yeah. Fresh. But...

3:05:44Better to be too prepared. How can you come home with six pair for a week? If I bring 14. I know, but that means that you only use six during a week. Eight. Oh, got it, got it, got it. You used eight. I always overpack. Always. Yeah. A human being. Unless you don't wear underwear. There you go. There are some people that do not. Three more pair than I would need. We get it, Jay. Commando right now. Right, Jay. Not wearing underwear. You're a very sexy man. Sans underwear. Yes, you're really sexy and... Foxy. Foxy. You know, you don't wear underwear. Just not that cleanly. Not very hygienic? No. Really? Underwear makes you hygienic? Doesn't it? Doesn't it? Unless you wash your pants every day. Unless you know he doesn't. I do. I wear shorts every day. Anyway, the reason... A human being should wear a pair of underwear every day.

3:06:47New, fresh pair of underwear every day. Did you just go... Yeah, because I have a pair of jeans I don't wear underwear with. Not these. My other ones. You knew that. Did I? Are you sure? My other pair of DJs I don't wear underwear with. They bunch up because those are tight. Do you wash them? Yeah. Once a week. Not every day. I got a new pair. What are you going to do? Wash them. I'm not going to wash them every day. It's bad for them. Wear underwear. They're too tight. I'm going to wash them every day. It's bad for them. It is, Woods. I'm with Jay on this. You have a fart problem. I wouldn't say a problem. I wouldn't either. I'm a male. I'm a male. You like to fart. Who doesn't? Me. You like to. I don't like to. You like to. No, I do it. I wouldn't say that I like it. Okay?

3:08:09I like to garden. I like to cook. I don't like to fart. Really? No. Does it everyone? Nope. Yes. No. He is being untruthful. You're lying. I am not. You don't want to admit. Not only am I being truthful, but it disgusts me. I think when I do it, I go, that's gross. And I wish I didn't have to. I love it. I like to do it. Why do you love it? Because it's funny. Okay, because now we've gone to from I like it. I love it. Now you're saying that you don't. I full on love it. Like is when you first meet a girl. Love is when you. My wife. I love it. You love to fight. Oh, baby. Why? Why do you love? Literally, there's very few things that make me happier than that. Why do you love to fart, Woods? Because of the sound. Okay. It's really funny. What about the odor? It doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother you. It's fine. Buttercup. I know that it's yours, but even though it's yours. Okay, can I ask you another question? Yes. You're a liar. I'm not a liar. He's not lying. He said the other day, he said a couple times in studio, I got myself so bad the other day, I wanted to throw up. That's true. That's true.

3:09:34Those are the exceptions. Okay. The exceptions. All right. All right. But still, L&B. Fair enough. Hold on. I still reveled in it. I still reveled. I still was like, I was almost proud. I was like, oh, my God. No. Excuse me. You called your wife. Yeah. And you told her about it. Yes. It's true. So Woods is right. He does. He enjoys himself. Now, this is my question to you. Here's my question to you. Because I've actually wondered this question. And I'll pose this question to our audience. What's left of it? Is there anything innately narcissistic about a man that enjoys the... Don't double bird me. Really? Narcissistic. Excuse. You are out of your mind. I'm just asking. No. I'm not stating. Is it narcissistic?

3:10:34You are projecting the answer onto people right now. I'm asking you. Isn't he? If you enjoy the smell of your own fart. Yes. It is narcissistic? No, it's not. Oh, it's not narcissistic. No, I do enjoy the smell. I know. That doesn't make me a narcissist. It doesn't mean I love myself so much that even my farts are good. No, it means I can't believe that came out of my body. That's what that means. But you said that you quite enjoy it. I do enjoy it. It's just because it's funny. How is it funny? It's funny. You enjoy the sound, but you also said you quite enjoy the aroma. Yeah, you said that. And so my question to you is, if you do, Lauren's breathing into a paper bag because she's starting to hyperventilate, which I understand. I understand. I don't like the way my pits smell if they smell. I do not like that smell. Now I'm not concerned about you. I'm no longer concerned about you. If I did, I'd be a weirdo. I wonder if that is... I don't think that has to do with narcissism. It doesn't? What if I was like, God, I have the best... I'm not Jay. I'm not like, look, I smell great and I'm all natural. I don't do that. But farts, you want to top the last one you had.

3:12:00Not me. Jay, you join me on this? I'm all in. Yeah. You want to top it. And the other night, I hit the crescendo. After Chinese food, the crescendo was hit. And it was like, nothing's ever going to top this. A lot of people are like that. Jamie almost had to go sleep in the other room. Oh, my husband is so proud of himself when he has a good one. And he, all of his work good. Okay, so let me ask you, Sienna. Yeah. What does it look like when a man is proud of himself? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Did you hear how loud that one got? He likes when he sits in my car, the leather seats in my car for whatever reason. Really gets the volume. And so my poor little Volvo. Lauren, I'm telling you, me and you. And my wife and her mom are the exception. You are. Let me tell you why. Let me explain. That sound is funny. The sound is funny. Details and talking about Chinese food. The crescendo will get you. I hit my peak. Got it. I hit for the cycle the other night. I'm weak. I'm weak. Anyway, this is why I say that me and you are the exception. You know how I told you that we...

3:13:27We have these friends that are like the super couple. They're the most beautiful two people we've ever met. That guy loves to fart. He loves it. Now, he used the same word. He used the same word. Loves to fart. Loves it. I love it. He loves it. I was shocked. And I said, really? I said, you know, I've never farted in front of my wife. And he was shocked. And he said. That his wife doesn't like it. Doesn't understand it. Doesn't get it. Doesn't get it. And I said, I'm with her. And you know me. I started interviewing him. I wanted to know. I wanted him to explain. Tell me. Why? What is it? He says, when I was a kid, my dad would put me in a leg lock. And he would fart in my head.

3:14:32Gross. I said, really? And he said, yeah. And he said, and it drove me crazy, you know. And he would laugh to the point where tears, he said, real tears. He'd laugh so hard that real tears would be pouring down his face. And I said, so why do you like it so much? He says, because it was so funny. After a while, that just became so funny. He says, my wife doesn't understand that. I do it all the time. She doesn't get why it's so funny. My grandparents, Mike, used to do, they were older, and they used to watch me when I was a kid, my mama and papa, and one of them would fart. We'd be watching Wheel of Fortune or Price is Right, and one of them would fart, and they would always blame it on the other one. So if it was my grandfather, he'd go, oh, mama, what did you do? And I would fall out of the chair laughing so hard. In my home, I've never heard my father fart or my mother, ever. Okay, and you told me that, and it really made me wonder what, now it explains it.

3:15:33Your grandparents. And I didn't have grandparents. I didn't have grandparents. All I had was my mom and dad and they were not farters. They never fart. I didn't hear them fart. Now, my dad would excuse me if people are listening and some people are like, wow, this is an interesting conversation. How childlike, how sophomoric, how I apologize. Maybe it isn't your favorite topic. I'm just telling you that this is something that's interesting to me that we all experience. Stay tuned for Shakespeare next. Yes. I'll be doing a reading. Sonnet. Yes. My father, if he was in the restroom, all bets were off. Okay? All bets were off. Much like his son. Just like me. Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about 35, 45 minutes. There's not a lot of embarrassment on my part as long as that's the case. Because I feel like, listen, what are you going to say to me? Whoa, mister. It's time and a place. Excuse me. There's a time and a place for everything. Now, this is where the double standard comes in. I do not expect this from a woman. I do not. Even if she's in the time and the place where she belongs, if she farts and I hear it, I will be scarred. L-O-B. Yes. Go ahead. What is it? Well, I know that you're that.

3:17:08drives you insane. There was a system like when Matt and I lived together we put on music whenever either one of us was doing the business. But it looks like you're it looked like there was a look of like that's not fair. I thought I didn't know that you meant just the I thought you meant they weren't allowed to go do their business. Oh they could do their business but I don't. Quietly. But if I don't believe that a woman should make a noise when she does that. I believe we should do everything at all costs to make sure that that. That transaction never happens. Doesn't get heard. I think women should go to a field to fart. Find a field and go with a tent. Made of iron. An iron tent. An iron lung would be fine. By the way, a tent or a field in Iowa. Yes, far away. Iowa, Russia. Iowa, Indonesia. Yes. Yeah, I don't want to hear it. Never. ever, ever. Nor do I want to smell it. Now that's a whole other, like that's beyond. Beyond. Beyond. In fact, you just ruined my day. I'm sorry. It's alright. Guys, I'm so dramatic. I'm saving some up for you for the meeting today. No, we don't do that. We don't do that. We don't do that, Woods. We've talked about that. He's gotten a lot looser. When I leave? That's the wrong word. A lot looser.

3:18:36It's disgusting. Yeah, I think that that is so inconsiderate. Well, it is what it is. No, it isn't. I want to make people laugh. Sienna always laughs, so it's worth it to me. And L.O.B. always goes, I laugh at your Irish jig. Why would you do that instead? I can do an Irish jig. It's okay, Mike. Brace yourself. Sienna. Yeah. You got a couple of ways that we can trick our body into waking up. I think you do, my friend. All right, let me see. So here's how we can trick our body into waking up. Now, that means for those of you that have a hard time, my wife can never wake up. Takes her forever to wake up. This will help. One way to do it is get a few minutes of sunlight. Even if your office has a big window, it's better to get direct sunlight. So go outside for a second and you will... It's like doing a little toot. Not that.

3:19:42Add less cream and sugar to your coffee. That will surprise people. Shocking. Yeah, because you think, oh, the sugar gets me going. No, no, no, no, no. Caffeine is what wakes you up. It's also the bitterness of the coffee will wake you up. But a lot of people use so much cream and sugar, it doesn't taste bitter at all. My coffee's white. Another thing that you can do to help your body wake up instantly if you have a hard time, pull your hair. I've been doing that. Tug on it gently. If I'm driving, I just pull on it. Well, it gets blood flowing to your head, wakes you up. It works. It isn't a cup of coffee, obviously, but it does help. If you're a student, that'll help too. I used to pinch myself in class because I'd be falling asleep during a lecture. Pull your hair. Pull your hair gently. Stretch your back. Stretch your neck. Stretch your legs. Light stretching.

3:20:54Don't do it in your chair. Don't do it in the fairway either. Jay is the only person I've ever heard of that has an issue with the fairway. Stretching fat out to go to the bathroom. Gotta keep loose. What you're supposed to do is stand up, stretch like you're about to go running. But the point is that you stretch really well. You get the blood flowing through your entire body. And then the other thing that you can do is flip your head upside down. Because all that blood going to your head gets you more alert. I'm going to start doing all of those. They'll work. Before the show. They will really, truly work. You'll be jealous, Wood. Okay. I don't have a problem waking up. Once I'm up, I'm up. Shower helps me. Oh. Sometimes you're a little tired. Not really. Not anymore. I've been getting adjusted to this. Yeah. Happy birthday. It was yesterday. Happy birthday to who?

3:21:59Why happy birthday? I don't know. You're being mean. I know, but why happy birthday? Hey, Mike, happy birthday. I have a problem waking up. Happy birthday, pal. Let's just be friends. Mike, I yawn at you, so happy birthday. At you. At you. At you. You guys know who Richard Henney is. Does tattoos. Balloon Boy. Does Indian tattoos. Balloon Boy's dad. That's Hannah. Hannah got it. It's Balloon Boy's dad. He is selling the infamous balloon. Yay. Jay. Yes, he is. Hi, I'm Richard Haney, and this is my wife, Mayumi Haney. Recently, we went on the internet, and we saw that over 18,000 people have perished over in Japan because of that tsunami. Well, we thought, how can we help out?

3:23:00We can't with our hands. But we have something that we think could help. What we want to do is put the flying saucer that we had built, the experimental craft, up for us for charity. So handling the sale is attorney Perry Rauscher out of Calabansons, California. Once the high bid comes in, the money will be transferred into a trust account. He will disperse the funds to the proper charities. We will receive nothing. Well, I trust you. Totally. Can we call Perry Rauscher and offer him $5 for that said flying saucer? For that big silver flying saucer? They didn't want to think about doing like a second take on that. Maybe doing it inside without so much background. Yeah. Maybe you guys have a jackhammer go on in the background too. People out there who have casinos and hotels. Maybe you're a collector and you want to attract people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I am. I collect balloons. I collect handmade balloons from people that have fooled the authorities. And I'm a collector of them. Very small niche. Yeah. Very small group. So far, I haven't collected any. So this will be my first purchase. But, you know, to say your place of business, you could perhaps bid on this and use it as a.

3:24:31Say you work at a dental office, you know, you put it in your place of business. Hey, what's that? Well, that's the balloon that a man used to fool the authorities and traumatize his child. It's a liar's balloon. Yeah, it's a liar's balloon. It's a liar's balloon. Used it to traumatize his child on television. Remember, the little boy threw up. He was so nervous. It was awesome. On the Today Show. We have his vomit, too, if you want to bet on that. So welcome, you know, to Dr. Johnson's office. ...write-off, and then folks will come in to see the experimental craft. Now, here's what we're going to do. If the bids exceed $10,000, we're going to throw in the... If they do. Obviously, they will. Hey, listen, if the bids exceed $40 billion... ...plans that I had for the thing. Oh. If the bids exceed, say, $50,000, we're going to throw in some photographs of the Heaney family actually building it. Then... If the bids exceed $100,000, we're going to throw in a DVD of us actually building it in our living room. Come on. Really? Really. That guy enjoys his own fart smells. Oh, yeah, for sure. Richard, you might want to think this over because you're committing yourself to a lot. I mean, because first of all, you're really going to give up images of you building the craft? You forgot about the blueprint first. He's going to give you the plans.

3:25:57And you're telling me that you are actually going to throw in a DVD of you guys building it? I mean, don't be so rash. You're just saying that you're going to do that. But, I mean, that's a lot. Mike, if it goes over $250, they're actually going to throw in the little boy, too. So, with that. Wow. Our city is so healthy. Wait till I tell you what we might be missing out on. On the 4th of July. You know exactly what it is. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call 570-1949. Here comes the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More of The Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9. When you run a business, you're the boss. The big kahuna. The big cheese. Actually, you're the big a lot of things. It's your show. It's all about you.

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3:28:31Today at Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. People locally and all over Southern California come to Mercedes-Benz of Escondido not only for the price, but for the quality of treatment that they receive. The relationships are what it's all about. Based on a 33-month lease, customer down payment $27.50 plus dealer document fee, taxes and license. Mankind will know that mutants exist. Discover the movie critics are calling the biggest surprise of the summer. X-Men First Class. You ready for this? Let's find out. It gives The Dark Knight a run for the best superhero movie ever. Hold on. Blockbusters don't come any better than this. X-Men First Class. Rated PG-13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Starts Friday. A blown tire. Overheated engine. Empty gas tank. There's mayhem on the road. That's why you need roadside assistance. What you don't need is to pay a fee even if you don't use it.

3:29:42Introducing Good Hands Roadside Assistance from Allstate. You'll never pay a dime unless you use it. And it's open to everyone, not just Allstate customers. Go to allstate.com slash roadside to register and get important information. Cue a beach on a perfect summer's day. Cue a twin-sized lounge. Cue the twins. Cue the twins rubbing sunscreen on your shoulders. Cue the camera phone. Cue the updated profile picture. Cue the immediate 318 friend request from 318 guys. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Hugh Blind Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the trademark owner. It's time to race. The San Diego County Fair opens next week. Play bingo Thursday through Sunday and you can win big money. There's a packet urn painting exhibit and four different car shows at the Cruisin' California exhibit, sponsored by Jeffrey Scott Fine Magnetics. Visit sdfair.com for details. More smiles to the mile at the San Diego County Fair. Presented by Albertson Savon. Miller Lite is proud to once again be presenting FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion at the Oceanside Pier on June 5th. Great beer, great responsibility. Triple hops brewed Miller Lite. Tastes greatness.

3:31:08And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. And I wear like a 44 small. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. Woods. I mean, hey, listen, I did snuff on the plane, okay? Zienna. I put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jay. You'd have to be dying not to come down and help you. Yeah. I would have to have had my arm chopped off. On FM 94.9. Yourdesignonline.com. It's our friend Jared's website. Guy does graphic design. He will do your business cards. He's probably busy. You're pretty busy when you are the best at what you do, not just in town, but anywhere. So if you're doing business cards or a website or anything like that, createyourdesignonline.com. Is it Mayor Sanders? He's for fireworks. So what's going on?

3:32:15Well, this man, an attorney from Encinitas, Marco Gonzalez, has been fighting firework shows in sensitive areas, especially La Jolla Cove, for more than a decade. He says he's concerned that... They're going over sensitive marine sanctuaries, scaring the sea life with the noise and the debris. This attorney says it's not about patriotism. It's not about who loves the country more. It's about our environmental laws and the potential impacts to our waterways and our species from these shows in certain locations. Mayor Jerry Sanders. said this is just what people hate about government when you have excess regulation because this guy has brought it up again. And the San Diego Superior Court Judge Linda Quinn has now scheduled a hearing tomorrow on a request that the La Jolla Cove fireworks be shut down because of the impact it has on the animals. Well, listen, I mean, I'm one of these guys. They just go, show me. Yeah. You know, I mean, if there's a bunch of dead fish washing up on the beach and all that stuff, I go.

3:33:17that's kind of messed up that we're killing a bunch of fish and stuff. The crazy thing is they've done a ton of research, SeaWorld, because SeaWorld does a big fireworks show. So they've done impact studies on the bay there. What they're trying to do, though, is they want an impact study every time that there's a firework. So you'll be $10,000 in before you even have a chance to pay for all the other permits that you have to do. Also, the mayor said it applies to about 20,000 different parks. permits in the city every year. And, you know, just like Jay said, if you do one, you have to do them all. And SeaWorld does every summer, every night at 10 p.m., I believe, 9 or 10, 9, the fireworks show. I mean, and they're the ones that are all about the animals. Here's the thing. The one word that you said there that really kind of irked me was scared the fish. Well, yeah, that's a quote from this guy. That guy, I don't know. I'm picturing a You know, a fish shrink. And the fish sits down and the shrink says, Mr. O'Connor? Yep. So what's been going on in your life? Scared, man. Scared? Scared all the time. Fireworks and debris and stuff. Scary. Is that the extent of your fear? Is it just the fireworks or is there anything else going on in your life? Just boats.

3:34:46Hooks. Bait. Scary. Okay, now that's a part of life. Well, my life, yeah. Not yours. No, no, no. It isn't. And I don't mean to diminish your experience. A little bit you do, but that's okay. I don't. I'm sorry if I did, if I offended you. I'm sorry. You're a fish. I'm a person. True. I don't know all that much about what you experienced, but I certainly have sympathy for you. Now, when you say that the fireworks scare you, what do you mean? Loud. You know, popping. Loud popping. And bright lights. Okay. So. I lost my erection, apparently. Okay, well, let me ask you this. Sorry. When you're in the ocean, how on earth do you see the bright lights? Well, there's a lot. You know, big firework displays. You know, the kids in the neighborhood setting them off. It doesn't really bother me because it's kind of far. But they like to do it over the water. It's bright. Okay. Does that make sense? Again, I'm not trying to diminish your feelings. But it just seems to me that it would be hard for you to see the... You don't worry about it. You're not affected by it. I'm here. I'm trying to help you. Actually, I need a prescription for Xanax. That's really why I'm here. Is that what this is about? That's exactly what this is about. You wanted a prescription for Xanax? Yes. Get out of my office. Okay. Fine. Guy is worried about... Scaring fish. Scaring fish. How many red snappers has dude talked to lately?

3:36:20How many Perch, how many Dorado has he personally interviewed that said, I can't freaking stand it, man. It's really, it's getting to the point now where I can't swim and eat. On one day of the year. It's really bad. Yes. Fourth of July. On the Fourth of July. You guys are feasting on hot dogs. I'm just running for cover. Yeah. Happy Fourth of July. Happy. Yeah. Happy 4th. Glad you guys are happy. Yes, you guys are independent. I'm not. Exactly. I'm down here freaking terrified. Oh, people. People are so. People ever have causes. People ever have causes. Well, like another example. He's talking about the La Jolla Cove show again on the 4th of July. And he says, you know, when they're setting up the fireworks, he can't swim over there. He can't paddle surfboard over there. Oh, God. Yet the fish are there all the time. So if I can't, why is it okay for the fish to be there? Oh. We're crying out loud with this guy. Shut up. Shut up. Stop. Move forward. Ten years he's been doing this. Ten years. Over decades. His wife's like, hey. Hey, Mark. With the firework bit. Maybe give it a rest. Maybe we go to Catalina for the fourth. Get out of town. It's a stressful time of year for you. The fourth's coming up.

3:37:47I booked us a trip, okay? She's kind of dancing around it. She's like, Mark, I know this is your passion. I know this is your passion. But I was wondering if this year we could put a little time towards the kids. A little. Because you're so into this. This fish scare thing with the fireworks. You're so agitated. You're so agitated. And the kids get, you know, they just want to throw the ball. They get weird. The kids get weird because you're being weird. Kids get weird because you're being weird. Let's go to Branson, Missouri. Yes. And we'll just go. We'll watch some Loretta Lynn shows and we'll just go have fun. And then when the fourth is over, we'll come back. We'll come back on the sixth. Sixth. Give it a couple days to kind of die down. You know what? The seventh. The seventh. Let's come back on the seventh. He's like, no. Freaking no. No. I'm not going to stop. Not with a bunch of scared freaking fish out there I'm not. I'm the Malcolm X of saving fish. Of course. Yeah. I'm not going to just give up. Babe, do you realize those fish are out there right now fighting for their fish lives? I'm the only one that's standing up for them. I know, babe. That's part of the problem. You're being ridiculous. Here's his speech. It's Marco Gonzalez.

3:39:20Mayor of Encinitas. Attorney. I'm an attorney in Encinitas. For so long, I have lived in this city. And I have watched from the sidelines as frightened fish have scurried about in a Pacific Ocean that I grew up. Swimming in, surfing in, and enjoying with my family. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not a fish. But I know fish. We all know fish. Flipper. Ladies and gentlemen, we do not stop the senseless scaring of fish. We will fight for them. If we don't pick up this cause to stop fish scaring, where will it end? The next thing you know, fish will be harassed for being gay. Fish will be fished. Eventually, fish will be eaten. Fish.

3:40:59Fish will be cause. I realize that right now unemployment is at 10% in the county of San Diego. You can barely afford a house unless you make a million dollars a year. And we're in more financial trouble than we've ever been in in the history of San Diego. But let's stop fish from being scared. Freaking fish rapies. Mark so-and-so. I approve this message. Pop it in. And turn it on. Sold out. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949-MIKEY at G. Is the Mikey Show. More coming up on FM 94.9. Sold out. FM 94.9 Independence Jam. Coastal Invasion. This Sunday. Pollution Side Pier Amphitheater.

3:42:30Presented by Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste Greatness. Performing on the FM 94.9 stage. Cold War Kids. Leaky Lee. Peter, Bjorn, and John. Band of Skulls. Everest. Performing on the Casbah stage. The Silent Comedy. Crocodiles. Surfer Blood. Soft Pack. Heavy Hawaii. And performing wherever he can plug in. Low bolts. You can't buy tickets, but we will be giving some away. Keep listening to FM 94.9 for details about upcoming random acts of kindness. A special thanks to Grubbies and Los Tacos for helping to support this year's Independence Jam. See you this Sunday in Oceanside with FM 94.9. If soaring gas prices are leaving you penniless at the pump, you need to enter the O'Reilly Cragen Auto Parts Win Gas for a Year sweepstakes. You heard right. One lucky person will win the grand prize of free gas for an entire year. And it's simple to enter. Just go to OReillyAuto.com and click on Gas Giveaway or like the O'Reilly Automotive Facebook page. It's that easy. There are also dozens of other prizes to win, including four $250 gas cards and 20 $50 gas cards. Two ways to enter, lots of gas to win.

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3:44:49You can do it online, AISinsurance.com. In fact, if you do that, it's usually done in about five minutes. It's really, really incredible. AISinsurance.com is the website. Or call them, mention me, mention The Mikey Show, 800-777-4-AIS. So I'm at the Verizon store because Father's Day is here, my son is graduating, and they're both big into technology. So I asked the sales guy, got anything for techies? And he's like, Tons. Maybe the Android-powered Samsung Galaxy Tab. Or the Motorola Zoom. It's Verizon's first 4G LTE upgradable tablet. So I say, hmm. But in my head I'm thinking. Then I say, okay, but aren't those super expensive? And he says, nope. We've got tablets starting at $199.99. And now my brain's going.

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3:47:55But it's a lot less painful for everyone involved. Call a fairway mediation at 619-702-9174 or online at afairway.com. Save money, your sanity, and some decency in your divorce. Use a fairway mediation. Now through June 4th, buy one, get one free on select Walgreens brand cold allergy and sinus relief products. They're recommended by Walgreens pharmacists. Walgreens, there's an everyday way to well. The awesomeness of the iPhone that you've been talking about. I don't want some dumbed down version of it. Woods. I have one wish. I wish I wasn't so fat. Zienna. Yeah, I would say I'm obsessed with Sage. Yeah, I'm obsessed. You are. And Jay. I love to look, but I just don't like to touch. On FM 94.9. By far my favorite Jay drop. No question. That there is. I like to look, but I just don't like to touch.

3:48:56Well, what I mean to say is I'd like to, but can we cut my head off? Yeah, here's how it would sound if I was telemetry. I like to look. I'm not allowed to touch. Right. I like to look. I probably should touch. I like to look, and I know it's wrong that I touch. Gosh dang it, it feels good. Do it. I like to look like... Twice out of a hundred times a touch. I like to look, but it ain't as fun as touching. I like to look, and as long as I'm in a crowd at Coachella, and no one can prove it was me, I'll touch. I like to look, and it's all he said, she said, so I'm going to touch. I like to look.

3:49:58And as long as I have an alibi, like, I was done. And I like the touch. Oh, so much. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is U2, Zoropa. Does that make anybody uncomfortable? Very. U2! Garrett! Zoropa. Even Garrett's probably like, weird. What is he doing? What are you doing? A program director. Garrett! There is a yearbook page that's showing cheerleaders' legs. And it's really freaking some people out at a California high school.

3:50:48Well, this is pretty lame. The editor of this article that was in the school yearbook at River City High School in California was a 16-year-old author. Apparently, this person had a problem with cheerleaders because on this page... The 16-year-old had a problem? Yeah, it was the author of this article in the school yearbook. Over 400 copies were already picked up by students on Friday. Again, this is at River City High School in California. The author made a page for cheerleaders that described the cheerleading squad as showing more leg than Daisy Duke. Digitally edited images of the girls' legs said things like, describe the cheerleaders as dolled up micro-mini uniforms. That's what they wear, strolling down the halls with blatant disregard for the school's dress code. Wait, so the girls weren't actually wearing this? They doctored the pictures to make it look like they were? They messed with some of the pictures of the legs. However... cheerleading uniforms are small so not they were saying they're dolled up in micro mini uniforms they stroll down the halls with blatant disregard to the school's dress code um they showed pictures of the cheerleaders skirts while they were doing like jump exercises so clearly showing more than the cheerleaders wanted because they're like mid-air doing a flip or whatever underneath the uh

3:52:01Underneath the skirts, don't they have to wear like a certain... They're like little Spanx. Bloomers. Yeah, bloomers. Do you have a picture? Yeah. No, I don't. Creeps. But now school officials are suspending the pickup of the yearbook until student editor rewrites a replacement page. And people are really mad about it. And the vice principal said that the school told the station the article was nothing wrong. It didn't amount to libel under the current law. And basically, I mean, people are just outraged about it. She was being a little bee. Yeah. The little girl that wrote it. And I don't know if it was a girl. I don't know if it was a girl. It just says the 16-year-old author. I'm sure it was a girl. I'm sure I was, too. Yeah, I was a girl. Yeah. Well, she's not making a good case for herself if she photoshops them. Well, that and, you know, she's making them look better. I mean, in a high school guy's opinion, he's going to see it and be like, yeah. No, here's the thing. I was exploiting all the sick people out there that just want to see, oh, yeah, they see legs. Yeah. But when you wrote that, didn't you know that you were going to get people upset? I wrote it from a feminist standpoint.

3:53:08I'm sorry, you wrote it from what? From a feminist standpoint. A feminist standpoint. Oh, a feminist standpoint. Thank you, man. You're welcome. Yeah, but I still don't understand how you thought that doctoring the pictures and altering them was going to... It's art. It exactly illustrates my point. How's that? Because you didn't even know it was Photoshopped because you didn't even stop and take a look. Oh, that's a woman now at its legs. Oh, my gosh. Is that not precisely what happens, Mr. Esparza? No, it is. Did you say precisely? Yes, I think I did. Yeah, it's precisely what I did, but I don't think that it's art. Game set. The cheerleaders were outraged. The article's titled, Who Wears Short Shorts? Oh, wow. You know what? That article was written by that kid's parents. What kid? You think? Yes.

3:54:14Why? I do think. Because a 16-year-old is not familiar with the old TV commercial, Who wears short shorts? They wear short shorts. It's not that old. It is, Jay. No, they did it a couple summers ago again. They did it a couple summers ago? Could it be from a dude, though, that got rejected by cheerleaders that he decided that he was going to exploit that? If they didn't run that Nair ad a couple of years ago, And I don't know that they did. I know the expression. They did? Yeah. They ran it just a few years ago? Yeah. The same one from the 70s. I don't know if it's the same one. It was updated. But the song is the same. Okay. It looked pretty good. It doesn't say if it's a male or a woman. It's just a 16-year-old author. And they did say, I made an editorial mistake and I apologize for any pain that I may have caused. We, the yearbook staff, are currently taking steps to make amends. I don't think that cheerleaders should wear...

3:55:12skirts that are too short. And the reason that I don't is because there's male adult teachers. And I don't think it's appropriate for male adult teachers to be turned on by the 15 and 16 year old girls that are wearing super short skirts. You know. Or the dads at the football game. Or the dads at the football game. So they should wear pants. And the moms probably shouldn't get turned on by the super hot young buff football players in the tight pants. They can't help that. You know what I mean? I know, I can't. I can't help it. I'm like, why does Rebecca still watch Friday Night Lights? Varsity Blues. Yeah. How you doing? I think they should wear skirts. Skirts, you know, and I'm even alright with short skirts. How about petticoats? No, dude. This ain't a like... Bloomers. Yeah, I'm not going that far. Short skirts are even okay. But I think it was Sienna that was telling me, like, she sees girls, like... eighth grade and up and they're wearing stuff like their butt cheeks are out the shorts today are shorter than ever yeah like their butt cheeks are out i'm like how do you you're a dad right if you're a dad

3:56:26How do you let your kid that's 13 years old go out with her butt cheeks hanging out? Right. That's about the parents. You want your daughter dressing like Taliban. You know what I mean? You want like completely covered the whole thing. Burkas are us. Burkas are us. Yeah, burkas are us. When do they go to the beach? If they go to the beach, then it's appropriate attire for them to wear a bikini. But you know what it is an appropriate attire for them to wear at the beach? A thong. Right. That's not appropriate. I think that, you know. And as a dad, you're the one that has to make that call. I'm writing this down. So if they're going to the beach, they can wear a bikini bottom. Yes. As long as it covers their entire bottom. As long as it covers their entire butt. But if they're wearing a short skirt with like a bloomers, which covered their entire bottom, that's a problem. Bloomers? It's like the... exercise pants or whatever they wear underneath theirs. I don't think that's what we're talking about. They don't wear exercise pants. It's panties. They're like panties. But now the popular bikini is the Brazilian cut, which is like one step wider than a thong. They are so small on your butt. So small. And they make the girls' bottoms where the butt crack has scrunched in so that it actually goes up your butt. I'd have to see it to really get a handle on it. I'll show you. To me,

3:57:42See, those are nice. To me, this is where the deal is. This is everybody's personal line with their kid, okay? If I had a kid, I'd go, listen, as soon as you're out of here, you do whatever you want. You can wear whatever you want. While you're here in the house, you're not wearing the Demi Moore strip tease outfit. Sorry. Hey, Jenna Jameson, guess what? What? Are you kidding me? Who wears that? See, that's not a thong. Who wears that? That's underwear. That's not what the cheerleaders are wearing. Right. Cheerleaders don't wear that. Cheerleaders have to be approved by the cheerleading coach. Hey, and if it's approved by the coach, it's all right with me. I'm telling you. I've seen the height. My sister was a cheerleader. Her wife was a cheerleader. It's changed, though. I think it's changed. It hasn't changed. No, I think it has. I think things have changed. Wow. Would it be a far-off thought for us to think that things may have changed? Yeah, I think that they're the same as my wife. I think the coaches at the school have lost their minds now, and they're letting the girls' ass cheeks hang out, really. Here is a more wider-covered bikini butt, but it's quite like... Who wears that? Is that ruching? Is that the word? I don't know what to call it. It's the line that goes straight up, so it kind of gathers. It's cute, but for young kids, that's what they wear. It's delightful. How old?

3:59:0414, 13. Oh, my God. Who's that guy? Who's that dad? But that's what's being sold at Abercrombie Kids, at everywhere. Why do I expect my daughter to be seen in her underwear? Yeah, I wore teeny little string bikinis when I was, like, 13 is what I think. Yeah. Nobody better be seen with my daughters. That's what they say, because that's what it is. I want boys. My dad was kind of, like, checked out. But, I mean, my, you know. But I mean, yeah. Again, I'm cool with a bikini. If I'm a dad, I'm cool with a bikini. Now, as a parent, though, looking back on it, it is a little like, oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah. As a dad, I would never really know what my daughter's underwear looks like. That's not underwear. That's a bathing suit. That's a bathing suit. Lauren wore a bathing suit like that recently. Oh, creepy. She's an adult. She's a 30-year-old woman. He's like, wait a minute. Hang on. Hey, wait. Hang on. Hang on. Look good to me. Lauren is there. I thought she was 16. Y'all. Hillary. Yes. What do you got coming up? Well, the good news is it's a new month, which means a whole new batch of recommended albums on FM 94.9. So I am going to play a new music from a band called Telekinesis. They are awesome. I'm going to play that pretty soon. The Killers, MGMT, The Naked and Famous, some Foo Fighters.

4:00:26There you go. Yeah. Lovely and talented. Hillary is up next. And we will see you again tomorrow morning at 6. The Mikey Show is out. Yep. In financial media station. Mikey in the morning. About the music all day and night. FM 94.9. It's about the music.