The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 06/13/11
Monday, June 13, 2011
June gloom weatherponcho word of the dayKings of Leon ticketsAnthony Weiner rehabcreephab jokesNBA Finals Mavericks winDirk Nowitzki MVPTracy Morgan apologyLa Jolla Real World territorialityfood prank and headphones retaliationGhost pottery sceneDr. Phil 911 call
The show opened with Mikey introducing the word 'poncho' and plugging Kings of Leon tickets, then moved into a heated debate about Anthony Weiner's rehab plans and the crew's 'creephab' jokes. Later, they celebrated the Dallas Mavericks' NBA victory, discussed Tracy Morgan's apology for anti‑gay remarks, and tackled local anger over a Real World shoot in La Jolla. A memorable prank unfolded when Jay hid his lunch, Woods relocated it to the bathroom sink, and Jay responded by stashing Woods' headphones in the fridge, leading to a playful retaliation segment. The episode wrapped up with games like Pick a Scene's Ghost pottery reenactment, a Dr. Phil 911 story, and a Father's Day Name That Tune contest.
What happened, in order
Poncho Word of the Day
The host announces the word of the day is 'poncho' and tells listeners that caller number nine will win tickets to see Kings of Leon.
Weiner's Temporary Leave
The crew discusses Anthony Weiner's announced temporary leave for treatment, joking about 'creephab' and his online antics.
Mavericks NBA Championship
They celebrate the Dallas Mavericks' first NBA title, highlighting Dirk Nowitzki's MVP performance and the Heat's loss.
Tracy Morgan Apology
Tracy Morgan reads his public apology for homophobic remarks made at a Nashville stand‑up show.
La Jolla Real World Backlash
Sienna explains why locals are upset that the Real World series will film in La Jolla, citing unspoken beach rules and territorial tensions.
Jay's Food Prank
Jay hides his take‑home food, Woods moves it to the bathroom sink, and later Jay retaliates by putting Woods' headphones in the refrigerator.
Ghost Pottery Scene
In a Pick a Scene game, Sienna and Lauren reenact the iconic pottery wheel scene from the movie Ghost.
Elephant Protest & Bin Laden Diver
Protesters march against elephant rides at the County Fair while a Californian salvage diver seeks Osama bin Laden's body in the North Arabian Sea.
Dr. Phil 911 Call
Dr. Phil recounts a frantic 911 call he made when he thought his wife had a heart attack on their tennis court.
Father's Day Name That Tune
Listeners call in to guess Father's Day‑themed songs for a chance to win brunch at Vigalucci, with Harry Chapin's 'Cats in the Cradle' as the winning answer.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLauren O'BrienSiennaJayChrisShortyAnthony WeinerNeil Patrick HarrisLiza MinnelliDirk NowitzkiSean MarionDwayne WadeLeBron James
36,389 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
City by the Bay, the city of brotherly love, the city that never sleeps. City of angels. City of angels, ladies and gentlemen. America's finest. That's right. Welcome to San Diego. Look at this. It's going to be cloudy today. Weird. Cloudy, overcast, and expecting a high of 68 degrees. This sounds fabulous. What is happening with the weather? It's the June gloom bit, right? Is it? Isn't it? Mm-hmm. I guess. It's not the deal? It's all June, every June? Well, I just know it was 2011 gloom. Yeah. So I'm just waiting for summer, man. Just waiting for summer. May gray, June gloom. All right. How about some June sunshine? But don't worry. They say that as the week, in fact, they say that tomorrow on throughout the rest of the week is going to be beauteous. Beauteous.
So don't worry about it. In fact, what they're saying is that the weather is going to get warm. We're going to have very warm weather. And so I'm stoked about that. This is all messed up. Should we leave you alone so you can take some pictures? I guess so. My poor little machine. What happened? What happened to you? Here we go. You ready? Big difference. Oh, thank you. Let's see. Here, this is. That sounds right. That's better. So the word of the day is poncho. Poncho. And when I say the word poncho between now and 10, caller number nine gets a pair of tickets to the Kings of Leon. Big prize. Cricket Wireless, Kings of Leon, September 4th. And so get ready.
We will be, could say that at any time, including during commercials. At 7 o'clock this morning, we will be discussing something that will require us to be ladies and gentlemen. And it will be very, very difficult because we must remain ladies and gentlemen as we discuss it. Here's the topic. Jay, our producer, and his policy. When it comes to taking home food that is brought into the studio on Fridays for our guests. Now, at 7 a.m., we will discuss this in a very mature and adult way. Will we? I don't know. I doubt it. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I'm 41. Woodsy is our sports guy. He's 35. Lauren O'Brien.
is our assistant producer. She's 30. Sienna is our news girl. She's 26. Jay is our producer. He's 47. And our phone screener is Chris. That's cross. Now, there are a lot of things happening that I think you have not heard about. I'll be telling you for the first time. Even, Woodsy's even going to tell us what happened at the NBA Finals, because you may have gone to sleep and you don't know. So we'll fill you in on that. First topic of the day is Wiener. You silly sausage. Wiener is saying that he wants to do that old hackneyed bit, right, Sienna? Yep, he announced on Saturday that he's going to be taking a... temporary leave of absence so that he could enter some treatment. Wiener time. Like rehab. Just don't have sex with girls. Creephab. Creephab. Creephab. Creephab. Recreep. Hey, L-O-B, I'm fine with creephab. Creephab. We are now putting going online and cell donging in the same category as being addicted to heroin or alcohol. Sex camp.
Sex cam. Well, he announced this just one day before some new photos came out. Did you say new or nude? Have you seen my wiener? No, in this picture that was released to at least one woman, he has a towel wrapped around his waist and he's holding his crotch in what looks like his gym. Listen, Sienna. Here are the words that I'm afraid of. Crotch, moist. I don't like that one. And used together, never. Never. Never. I didn't even, nobody would. Some people would. I wouldn't. Nobody would. I wouldn't. In fact, you made us think of it. Yeah, my fault. Oh my gosh. Tender. I don't like tender either. Tender doesn't bother me. Tender. I like a tender steak. I don't like, I don't like crotch. I don't like moist. You don't like panty. I hate panties. Why are you wearing them then? Woodsy has a hard time with that word. Panties gets me real good. Delicate. I'm missing one. Somebody call. Tell us what word we're missing. There's a word out there that just skeeves us all out. We hear it. I don't like tendrils. Tendrils. Curly tendrils. Was it a mucus? No. It doesn't bother me.
There are also new reports about Anthony Weiner saying that he had online communication with another girl, a 17-year-old girl, who followed him on Twitter and who he also followed in return. We'll be finding out more about this chick, too. It's called throwing enough against the wall and seeing what sticks. I know. That's what he's doing. He doesn't need to go to rehab. He's fishing with dynamite is what he's doing. Yeah, stop boning people. I don't think he's boning anybody. He's just throwing it. Hey, if you're attractive, I'm going to sell dong you. Yeah. Or Twitter dong you. You don't think that he's having sex with anyone? I mean, I don't know. Nobody's come out and said that he has yet, but it sounds like it's all this internet and texting bit he's been doing. Does that really work? Does anybody actually find that attractive? No. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great point. Like, what a dumb thing to send. Yeah. No girl gets that and goes, oh, wow. Yeah. Man, sign me up. You know why, though? Guys are so stupid? Because guys are visual. And so we assume that because we're visual, so are you, ladies. So we'll send you a sell-don. Dummies. We're dumb. Send flowers. Send flowers. I saw his pictures, too. I am proud to say I haven't seen him yet.
I use the word yet because I know that Woods will probably text me. What a dumb thing. It's a good idea. And nobody, you know, everybody hears that you're going to rehab and they instantly go, well, you're just a, that's a joker. Yeah, he didn't describe what kind of a rehab or where it is. He just said that he's getting professional treatment. A drug rehab, is that what you think? Come on, Wiener. Quit being like that. Wiener's lost his mind. Wiener's lost his mind. Don't play me like that. I'm not a fool. Don't patronize me by saying you're not going to tell me what kind of rehab you're going to. I bet he's in and out quick. At least he's rising to the occasion, you know? That's true. That's true. This is M1 Shorty from Spring Valley. Hi, Shorty. Are you there, Shorty? Yeah, hello. It's your birthday. Are you there? Hello, Shorty?
Can you hear me? Hope I'm not doing something wrong. Hmm. Does one of those have to be on or no? Nope. All right. Peace. Huh. Phone's checked. Someone came in here every week. Yeah, somebody's been messing with something. Yeah, my computer was messed with. Mm-hmm. I'm sure you could put a padlock on this door. I think there is one to mess with your computer. No, I just borrowed your mouse, but I put it back. Uh-oh. Sorry. Anyway, this guy was calling to say we don't like the word Frenching. Nah. TB. Too bad. Yeah, I don't like it, but... Ew, I don't like it either. It's a great word. I love it. French real good. Ew. Feels real good. Makes me think of French dressing and sloppy kisses. It doesn't me. But it is... It isn't one of those. There's a word that I'm missing. It's like moist. Mm-hmm. Crotch. Yuck. Anybody watch the Tony Awards last night?
No, Mikey, I like girls. I watch sports, though. Well, don't judge. I'm gonna. I know. Because it's the Tonys. Well, first of all, I'm going to say this and you're going to be like, oh, really? But it's true. I didn't watch it because I was curious about who was going to win. Of course, I took it all away, darling. I always do. Liza, I watched it for you. See if you were sitting there. I tap dance my way into your heart and I'll tap dance out. Always have, always will. I didn't watch it because I was interested in who was going to win what. I watched it because we get the East Coast feeds. And I thought, hey, I wonder if only New York is seeing this. So then I went and looked ahead and I said, no, we're getting it too. A little bit later. Doogie Howser, MD, was the host. Neil Patrick Harris. Listen to his kooky, zany song that he sang to start the show. We've got swarms of Mormons, showgirls, sailors, dancing boys and nuns. Plus a spider facing death defying budget overall. Red states and from blue, big Broadway rainbow is waiting for you. Come in and be quiet. It's not just for gays. We'd be twice as proud to have you if you go both ways. For gays.
And then the NBA Finals last night. Kind of a shock, right? What happened to the NBA Finals? It was pretty awesome is what it was. The Dallas Mavericks are the NBA champions. They beat the Heat last night. Incredible. In Miami. And it was something special. They won by 10 points. Dirk Nowitzki was MVP. Here's the last minute of the game or so. 16.1 seconds remaining. Terry gets it. And the Heat will not foul. Sean Marion dribbles it out. And the celebration will begin. The Dallas Mavericks are NBA champions. The first title in franchise history. It always bums me out in basketball or in baseball when they don't win it in their home city. No kidding. Because you want to see everyone freak out. You don't want it to be dead quiet in there and you hear nine guys rejoicing, you know? I hate that. It's your worst. Yeah, get them, Dirk! There's three guys from Plano. Woo! Yeah, we did it! Sweet. We did it. Happy for you guys. You guys killed it. You guys were really, really good tonight. We're going to go back to our hotel. South Beach. Yeah, and then we're going to go home. It's terrible. But good for the Mavericks. Yeah, that was very cool to see.
A lot of stuff went down this weekend with Dwayne Wade and LeBron. They were mocking Dirk, being sick. They were. And all this stuff. And then for them to come out. Which didn't make any sense. LeBron James has quickly become. He's like Jesse James right now. He is hated. The whole country, save Miami, was rooting for the Mavericks. And they did it, man. They're bringing home the title. It's insane. And what does it say about all that dough and all that put together of that team? The decision that he had to do on ESPN, the big deal, where he's going to go play. They had to win. They had to win the finals. Seems like the whole thing was a waste. Tracy Morgan? Ooh. This is big news. Now, Tracy Morgan upset gay people. Because he was doing stand-up and he said something about gay people, right? Yeah, this happened on June 3rd and he made a public apology last Friday for his homophobic rant. He was at the Tennessee Ryman Auditorium and he said, quote, Being gay was something kids learn from the media and programming and gays needed to be quiet.
to quit being peas and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying. He also said if his son was gay, he better come home and talk to him like a man or he would pull out a knife and stab that little N to death. Now, you know, clearly he's going for the whole shock thing. And, uh, you know, context, you gotta have some context. This is a comedian in a comedy club. It is not President Obama doing an interview on the McNeil-Lair Report or Meet the Press. Still, it's overboard. It doesn't matter where you are. It doesn't matter what you're doing. It doesn't matter what context it's in. Some things are like screaming fire in an auditorium. You just can't do it. You can't, you can never say or make it that it's okay to perform a hate crime. You can't, that's not, it's not okay. You're not allowed.
He released a statement on Friday, like I said, and he said, I want to apologize to my fans and the gay and lesbian community for my choice of words at my recent stand-up act in Nashville. I'm not a hateful person and don't condone any kind of violence against others. While I'm an equal opportunity jokester and my friends know what is in my heart, even in a comedy club, this clearly went too far and was not funny in any context. Yeah, I mean, I don't believe that he thinks gay people should die. Right. I don't believe he... thinks that or believes that. I don't. And it's the guy's right because he lives in America to say whatever he wants to. I mean, he lives in America. It's just one of those deals where you go, hey, listen, you can do and say whatever you want. But what you have to know is that there's going to be consequence to it. You know, I used to be a shock jock and I said some pretty wild things. And I'm really sorry I said a lot of the stuff I said. I really am. And I paid a consequence for it. I was free to say it, but I had to pay the consequences. Yeah, he was in trouble just a little while ago, too, if you guys don't remember. He said some raunchy stuff about Michelle Obama and Sarah Palin, calling them good material to do inappropriate things. Maybe close your mouth. This is a guy from Nashville named Kevin Rogers that went on CNN and took exception to what?
I was absolutely shocked and amazed at what I was hearing. I knew that I was going to see a comedian that, as she said, does push the envelope and was expecting to hear all sorts of different, probably inappropriate humor, but I didn't expect to hear an attack on the gay community. I thought that, for sure, there would be sort of jokes about... fat people or mexicans you know or or um black people which is fine women women or women were uh they were up for that's and the reason is because you know everyone y'all know that's funny um i thought he'd make fun of handicapped people that's usually pretty funny but i was like you know when he got up there and he started to say things about little old guys i was like well this ain't right This is wrong. How terrible of you. How dare you. How dare you. Tracy. How dare you come into the deep south and make a joke about gays in the deep south. How dare you. You know that this is black people joke.
territory country. This is where you poke fun at blacks. We expected you to make a fool of yourself and just do the self-deprecating thing like the other blacks come in here and do. Of course. Come on. I mean, listen. This is Nashville, Tennessee. Hello. Hello. In this city, blacks know how to get up on a comedy stage. That was so out of line. My goodness. Blacks are allowed to get up there and do Asian jokes. Right. Mexican jokes. Sure. European jokes. Of course. They can imitate women. Yes. Don't go near the game. Don't talk about gays. In fact, you know, I said, you know, when I heard that this show was going to be here, I said to my life partner, Tom, Tom, why don't we go see the Tracy Morgan show? I bet he'll make some funny jokes about blacks. And Tom said,
That sounds wonderful, darling. Why don't you purchase some tickets on Fandango? And so I went online. I saw that there were a lot of tickets left. Honey, I bought them off StubHub. Sorry, dear. He bought them on StubHub. Fandango is for the movies. Sweetheart, can I ever tell a story, babe, without you interrupting? Look, hon. It wasn't Fandango. You sound like an idiot. We're on CNN. I know we are. It was Dang StubHub. Good God. See, there you go again. There you go again. Just talking out of school. I can't say a gosh darn word without you interrupting. I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm going to rub your feet. We're on TV. Just hold my hand. I was about to tell about how we went there expecting stories about blacks and they started to make fun of us. I know. I hated it. That was awful. I won't watch Tracy again. We have every 30 Rock on DVD, and I ain't going to put it in. That's right. Forget him. Self-edit. Yeah. Yes, thank you. Hey, listen. San Diegans, we talked about this last week, but San Diegans are really upset that the real world is going to start taping in La Jolla. And Sienna has a very, very...
strong take about this? Because she lives in La Jolla, grew up in La Jolla, went to La Jolla High. Well, it's not very often that when I'm looking at national news in the morning, I see, you know, La Jolla pop up and how upset people are, mainly in San Diego, that real world is coming back because there was a lot of problems before. And mainly, I've grown up in La Jolla, so I've seen it happen a lot. But especially on the beaches, tourists and people that don't exactly... know the quote-unquote rules of certain beaches. Oh, git. Fake rules. Locals have a real problem with them, and I've seen a lot of... Locals should git. Yeah. Locals should git. Well, wait. Question. Calm down. Let me finish talking. Yeah, well, yeah. I want to hear the whole thing. Okay. I don't agree with the violence, but it does happen when tourists come with boogie boards and stuff like that, and it's lame, but there are fights and altercations from locals that are upset that these people are coming on their beaches. Now, when you say rules, are they unspoken? Yeah. They're unspoken rules. Yeah, no. I mean, people should be able to show up with a boogie board. And, you know, there are spots, you know, where people show up with a boogie board and get beat up because of it. Now, but you're not saying like, hey, listen, people come and there are local like La Jolla guy rules for surfing. Right. They're not like rules that everyone knows that are posted. They're like unspoken rules.
kind of know they know yeah yeah because that i mean i do think it's weird that any guy would feel like hey this is my turf like the jets or the sharks that's any coastal area it is this territorial like because it's a tourist destination so they're like people get upset like this was my area and now you're coming and invading it because i i'll say this last year when i was getting in the water i felt like i don't want to be an imposition to anybody that comes here regularly and does this regularly i could be an imposition because of my ignorance to rules you have to learn the rules for sure and i i wish that there was a way that we could just sort of know that Post them. Maybe post them. Post them, even. Yeah, it's hard for a new surfer to follow kind of the guidelines and stay out of the way. I mean, it's difficult. But that's different than what Sienna's talking about. She's talking about...
People that will ride on your vehicle for a park. If you park in an area of the beach, they'll come and ride on your car and wax. That's what happened to Jay. Yeah, that happened to me in La Jolla. And you're a surfer. Yeah, I'm a surfer. But because you went to their area, they were upset at you. Their beach. And they didn't recognize your car? They didn't recognize my car. Easy point, right? Yeah. Come on. I mean, it's true. And I'm in a weird spot because I... I don't do anything like that, but I'm friends with people that have. I know those people. I grew up with those people. Well, they seem odd. They seem strange. It is strange. It's mean. It is mean. But it's more than just mean. It's odd. I go, do you have an inferiority complex? Right. I mean, isn't there something everywhere where the locals have their spots, you know? Well, yeah. You're supposed to pee on it to market. That's the deal. Yeah, there are places where locals have their spots, but they don't.
you know, hurt other people's stuff. Don't they? No. Nowhere else they don't do that anywhere. No, I think they have. I don't think it's okay. I'm not saying it's okay, but I'm saying, you know, it doesn't only happen in La Jolla. We got to talk about this. Yeah, we do. When we come back, we got to talk about this because, and I want, hey, listen, if you're from La Jolla and you're a surfer and you feel that way, like, hey, you come surf on my beach, I'm going to do some stuff. Yeah. You know, because the bottom line is you have to understand, La Jolla surf guy, that most people feel that, It's okay to go somewhere and surf. They don't feel like it's going to be a... That's all I'm saying. So I want to hear from those guys. Last night was the Spike TV Guys' Choice Awards. Who was the hottest chick? Who's the hottest chick of the decade? You want to hear Spicoli? You want to hear Sean Penn do Spicoli's voice, if not just for a second? Yes. And don't forget, at 7 o'clock, we will be discussing, as ladies and gentlemen, with Jay, about something that upset him. It's coming up. And the 2011 season rolls on with more than 145 live Padre games exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego. And then, join John Weisbarth, Jenny Kavnar, and me, Bob Scanlon, for the Sequoia Casino postgame show. And as always, be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter all season long.
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This report, it's brought to you by Allstate tornadoes, wildfires, ice storms. No matter what happens, Allstate is there to protect their customers. You're in good hands with Allstate. Well, it looks like we've got some slowing here on the 78 in both directions between Mission Avenue and Borrego Springs. Also, the 8 eastbound between Mollison Avenue and Main Street. Just a little slow. Be prepared. You've got the 5 in both directions at Via De La Valle due to the San Diego County Fair. That'll probably be slow starting later on this morning. This report brought to you. buy Saquon Casino, get on board for the summer's pirate adventure at Saquon Casino every Monday through June 27th. You can win some great cash prizes, private yacht excursions, and a trip to the Caribbean only at Saquon Casino. I'm Stacy Cohen, FM 94.9. The Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not into it. See, here's the thing too. Guy stuff. Love guy stuff. I just, it's like cars. I love cars. Lauren. I can be sweet when I want to be, but oh. I'm so cut you. Oh, boy. Like a knife. Wood. Every day now, I'm questioning why I have five dogs. I spent my afternoon cleaning up trash and poop. Sienna. I'm not a farger, but I live with fargers. It definitely makes me laugh. And Jay. What is the coolest thing I've ever made? We don't have that kind of time. On FM 94.9. You hear me say the word poncho between 9 and 10, caller 9. We'll get tickets to Keys and Leon. Now, 7 o'clock this morning.
We are going to put on our ladies and gentlemen hats. Are we? And we are going to do our best to discuss something with Jay as ladies and gentlemen. Over under on how many times Jay says so. Over under would be 12. Okay, I'll take the over. Me too. All right, so in just a minute, we're going to give you the results. Of the Spike TV Guy Awards, who was the hottest girl? Who did they say is the hottest girl of the decade? Who's the hottest girl of the year? All that stuff. First, though, we're talking about territoriality in San Diego. Now, what we mean is that one of the things that was in the big news story today is the San Diegans are really upset that the real world is going to start filming here again. They're going to film in La Jolla. I don't blame them. I wouldn't want that kind of drama. And, you know, who needs it? It's no good. Glorifying drinking and partying, you know, in a neighborhood where there's kids. Well, not only that, but it's like, you know, Chris Rock said one time, if a guy is out at an ATM at two o'clock in the morning, ain't nothing good happening at an ATM at two o'clock in the morning. No question. And when you have the real world in town, nothing good.
is going to come out of that. Nothing. They're not going to be doing charity work and saving puppies and things like that. M1 Point Loma from Point Loma, what's going on? Good morning, Mikey Joe. Morning. Hey, I have nothing against Siena, but the locals up in La Jolla seem to be a little more protective in their beaches than any other beach in San Diego County. Do you agree, Siena? Yes. I'm in a weird... spot right now because I love I even I mean it's I don't agree with what these people do but I love them still because they're my family who I've grown up with you know so I think you like that they stand up for their beach and that they want it to be just theirs I do and and that's that beach is my backyard too you know that's where I grew up and so when I I do I see other people come and they cause problems too it's not just the locals other people have so that's why the locals are like that You know what I think is part of it? What? There's really only one, well, I know there's more, but there's really only one main way into La Jolla, which I think makes La Jollians feel like they're in this little bubble. Yes. Which I can understand. I can understand. I don't necessarily agree. Yeah. But I get where it comes from. I understand it. Yeah. Imagine if you lived literally on an island.
You know, a very exclusive neighborhood that's on an island. Coronado. Coronado. I bet people are, you know, protective there. Not in Coronado, they're not. They're not. They're not. Hawaii. Hawaii. Yeah, LLB said it's real bad over there. Real territory. I don't know. When I was there, they were very gracious. They were like, yeah, going up. I surfed at the North Shore in Hawaii, and it was pretty nice. There are spots in Hawaii where people are very territorial. If you're respectful there, though, they're... They usually give you the love right back. It depends on which part. I don't believe in every spot they're like that. Since I moved here, you know, learning to surf is something I've wanted to do. Jay took me, you know, right when I got here. And some of the first questions I always ask him and my buddy Winder are, all right, what do I do? Like, it trips me out so bad that some guy would be like, get out of here, you know, you kook or Barney. I'm like, it scares me to death. Sure. So I'm always asking the rules. M1 Mike from Sunset Cliffs. You there, Mike? Yeah, right here. Good morning. Good morning. Hi, Sienna. How are you? Good. How are you? Very good. I was born on the end of the cliffs, and when I was a little squirt bomb, just learning how to surf, territorial was unbelievable. I mean, they'd steal your clothes. They'd take the hay from the grass, and they'd stuff it in people's clothes and put a noose around their neck.
and make a scarecrow and hang it from a tree. Really? Oh, my gosh. That's pretty crazy. They bust their boards. They do everything. I'm not going to say, you know, the surf break that, but to really go through the pecking order in order to prove myself. And one of my favorite things was when they get a girl on me, I go, you know what? you're going to get in your car. I walk home. Yep. I get what he's saying. Yeah, he is local. He lives closer to the beach than they do. Happy birthday. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for getting a nice house in La Jolla and raising me here. I had a lot to do with it. Well, it's kind of like this, man. There was some thing on Dateline last night about kids bullying, and you know what the number one thing they bullied other kids about was? Not having as much money. And I'm sitting there thinking about it. I'm like... You don't have any money. Yeah, you're a kid. It's not a money thing, though. Like, that's what people immediately think when you say, in La Jolla, it's like this. It's not about money at all. That has nothing to do with it. It has to a little. It doesn't. I'm telling you, it doesn't. It has nothing to do with money. I don't think so. No? No, because I've been to places where the guy obviously didn't have money, but he was just mad that you were at his break. Yeah, it has nothing to do with money. It has to do with...
Privilege, though. No. It has to do with being local and being from there. But I think it's your privilege to be to grow up in an area. So people are like, this is my spot. Whatever it is, stupid. I ain't surfing La Jolla. Good luck, real world. Yeah, don't let them win. I'm not going there. I think it all should be settled in the water. Oh, boy. Let's surf about it. So last night on the... Spike TV Guide Choice Awards. Who do you think got the holy grail of hot? Right on, you guys. Thanks. Listen, I'm so stoked to tell my grandkids that grandma at one point was really hot. So, thank you. Can you tell who that is by the voice? Yes. How come? I couldn't. Really? Damn it. Let me say. Go ahead, Sienna. Mila Kunis. Mila Kunis. Oh, yeah. Mamacita. That was Mila Kunis.
Just putting it out there. Does anybody feel like Mila Kunis has sort of buggish eyes? Insect, yes. Insect. But in a beautiful way. Her eyes are gorgeous. She's gorgeous. Isn't she? She was highly underrated until the Sarah Marshall movie. She was on that 70s show for years and nobody cared about her. Let's see. Jennifer Aniston got the Decade of Hot Award. She stayed pretty good looking. But then, Sean Penn won for the Guy Movie Hall of Fame for Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Now, how is it that a guy, and by the way, he did do just a second of Spicoli. I'm so wasted. Finally, Aloha, Mr. Hand. Bravo. Nice to hear him do it again, right?
Now, how is it that a guy that played a role that was such an icon for us dudes got so serious and nerdy and annoying and political? Scary. Yeah, petrifying. Listen to this. Well, this is nice. I'm also appreciative to my co-stars and our great director, Amy Heckerling, that they... are still recognizable, that I look at them with less good eyes and still see who they are. It doesn't always happen that way. I'm sorry that the actresses aren't here tonight, but I feel that the men here represent that and that now our breasts are larger than theirs. There's a PETA demonstration going on outside. I think they're calling for a dog with a cigar to be put down. We're 35 seconds in. Now, I got to say this.
I like all this so far. I think what we've figured out is that when Sean Penn gets up to speak, 35 seconds is a good amount of time. So since representative of that, I noticed that there's nobody here with a hook. So I'll be brief. And it is a kind of full circle-ness because I know that Mr. De Niro is a large part of the reason many of us in this film became actors. So thank you for being here and doing this tonight. So, finally, aloha, Mr. Hound. That's not the clip I was looking for. Maybe this is it. There are films that change everything, that shape the way we think, and forever redefine how we all feel about our lives and about our world. The best of them grab you by the and blow your mind. You cry, you in your pants. Wow. It's De Niro.
Wow. Typical day for me. One of those films is going into our Hall of Fame tonight, Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Where did it go? I don't know. It was Sean Penn doing his Sean Penn thing. He was ranting? Yeah, he wasn't ranting, but he was talking about stuff that we just sort of, you know. My gosh. It's like Woods when he's a passenger with you in your car after a concussion. It's killing me! It's killing me! You guys, excuse me, Woods and Jay need to come together in the safe tree and just come together again. It's not going to happen. No, it needs to. It's not going to happen. Passive aggressive comments. Well, that's what worries me about what's coming up in now 11 minutes. Oh, no. Oh, it worries me. I'm pretty sure there's nothing passive about my comments. Fair enough. Listen, when we talk as ladies and gentlemen in 11 minutes, I need...
Specifically, I need Jay and Woods to really try to be good to each other. Woods went and saw the Deftones in Los Angeles over the weekend. I went and saw Michelle Branch over the weekend. Almost the same thing. Well, here's how it happened. Woods went to a venue. And Rebecca got an email that said that Michelle Branch was playing in San Diego at a restaurant. And so we made reservations and went and saw her play. Did you buy a cute sundress? Oh, my gosh. Sing along? Yeah. What's next, Rebecca Black? Are they? A lot of people don't even remember who that girl is. It was interesting, though, because the Deftones actually did a cover of Michelle Branch at the show that I was at, so it was like being there. It was like being there. They played at this place called the Blue Fire Grill. Really, really great restaurant at the La Costa Resort. And went there, and yeah, I felt kind of, yeah. Did you go early and get a pedicure? Yeah. No. I answered too quickly there.
Nice Bieber. The radio station Sophie was out there. So I was like, oh, no. Well, I guess I'm. Yep. All right. Here for the steak. It's all right. You get good food and some good entertainment. My wife made me come. Yeah. Tell everybody. Thanks, baby. Drag me here. Here for the steak. And also, goodbye to you. Happy birthday to her. I don't listen to this. Hey. None of these wives, huh? Yeah, did you see this? I got a sleeve of tattoos, so there's no way. You're the only guy there, right? I'm a good husband. Yeah, I'm suing this for her. I'm taking one for the team tonight. Am I? Well, why are you singing along to every song? Why are you crying? Why are you crying? What was your favorite song, Mike? That is such a difficult question. How unfair of you, Sienna. I know you had one. Probably Goodbye to You.
You wouldn't be able to play that. No, but only because I didn't think of it. If I thought of it, I probably would have downloaded a bunch of her videos. That's a nice concert shirt you got. I don't have a concert shirt. Don't you? Did it come with lip balm? Gloss. There you go. No, I'm trying to just share my life. We delight in it. You know better, Mike. I know. You know better. If everyone was goodbye to you. Mine was You've Seen The Butcher. Those are different songs. She did play all the big hits. Deep Tracks. Disappointing to you, of course. Huge Michelle Branch fan.
Celebrate the whole catalog. You're not going to play hotel paper or what? You're just going to sit up there and goodbye to you all night or what? Happy birthday. Greatest Hits album. Perfect. Guess we're not going to hear you set me free. HBD! Happy birthday! Did you get to meet her or anything? No. Did you stand in line to try? No. I didn't. Did you go to meet and greet before? No. And then I had another embarrassing... If that wasn't embarrassing enough, I went to Office Depot this weekend. Weird. Yeah. The reason I went is because my wife had me sign a document. Not divorce papers. She had me sign a document and I said, ooh, where'd you get this pen? She instantly said, you can't have it. Snatched. And...
It was such a nice pen. It was by a company called 4A. And I said, yeah, I have to have one. So the next day, I took it, and I took it down to Office Depot to get one. Crazy. I understand that. And there I was, and I was trying to match it. Yep. And found it, got it. But as I was looking, I happened to lean down on a little fence. Did you crush it? I did. I did. I crushed it, and it fell, and all these pens fell out onto the floor at Office Depot. Oh, my. And a woman started to laugh. Did you go, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Yeah, I did. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. It's funny because he's fat. Could have happened to anybody. It could have. Didn't. Not me, of course. Wouldn't have happened to me, Mike. Ooh, that hoe is big. Didn't happen to anybody over 450, Mike.
It happened to Bubba the Love Sponge once. Because he's 500 pounds. Anyone with fat fingers. Well, that's because you have big jugs. That's just the end of it right there. Sorry, Mike. It's a bummer. The voice of a female friend saying, I'm sorry, Mike. It just... It takes every piece of... testosterone you had and just spills it all out over the floor, doesn't it? It was just not your day. It was just not my day. You got your pens, though. I did. When we come back, we're going to discuss Jay. It may get heated, but we're going to talk about it, like, ladies and gentlemen. We're also going to play you the Dr. Phil 911 call if you haven't heard that, and you'll find out why Dr. Phil was calling 911.
Chance! Let's do it! More from the Mikey Show coming up. Be a part of the show. I don't think it's that simple. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. This is the sound of Jennifer at work preparing to visit her bank. So, you want to take a two-hour lunch break? Yeah, I need to visit my bank. It's all the way across town. This is Marissa preparing to visit her nearest Chase branch. Hey, just heading over to the bank. I'll be back in 10. Well, you know they just opened one in the lobby. Oh, be back in 5. Jennifer. You're aware this is going to come out of your vacation time. Oh. Marissa. Welcome to Chase. Wow, you guys are popping up all over the place. You can always rely on a Chase bank to be close by your home or office. With new branches opening all the time and a suite of new technologies, Chase continues to make banking more convenient. There are over 5,300 locations nationwide. With more coming to San Diego soon. Visit chase.com slash my new branch for your nearest Chase location. More branches in more places. Take a step forward and Chase what matters. You know, you can save even more money with AIS if you team it with multiple cars, stuff like that. I wish that I could insure my poncho.
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This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. On the 5 northbound, Cannon Road an injury accident. A couple cars collided. They're over on the right shoulder of that off-ramp. Also, the 163 northbound of the 52 just cleared an accident there off the roadway. And we've got some backup as you travel on to the 15 southbound between El Norte Parkway and Center City Parkway. This report brought to you by Fantastic Sam's. What's in style? More importantly, what's right for you at Fantastic Sam's. Haircuts are between $15 and $20. They're also their color services start at $45. Your style awaits. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCC San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Because I'm tiny. Lauren. I like fried chicken. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Sienna. Every time I go to the grocery store, I know someone practically in every aisle. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9. Story about Jay coming up here in just a minute. Oh, wow.
First, Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, the Casey Anthony prosecution trial, it's going to be over pretty soon. They're saying this is the fourth week and only a couple more witnesses left. The trace evidence analyst and the tattoo artist that she visited during her daughter's disappearance. So can't wait to find out what happens to that. Also, the Cardiff kook helped a man propose to his girlfriend over the weekend. Jeff Conway dressed up the Cardiff kook, held up a sign that said. His fiance's name, Pauline, marry me, question mark. And she said yes. They went for a little stroll right by. And now they're getting married. Now, just fast forward 50 years. Won't it be great? They go there, you know, 50 years later holding hands. So sweet. Sign me up for that. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. L.O.B. right now just has it. emotionless face, just kind of looking at me, just kind of waving her head, just kind of like, yep. Longer than it's ever been. Okay. Well, you know what? That's obviously... I have a burning in my loins right now. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Jay. That's Jay. Woods, what's going on in sports?
Sports is brought to us today by Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Yeah. The Dallas Mavericks captured their very first NBA championship last night. The most outspoken owner, maybe in any sport, has been Mark Cuban. Guy didn't say a word throughout the entire playoffs. They put the mic in front of him last night, and they asked him, what's the deal? You know what? It doesn't mean as much to me. It just feels so good for Dirk and Jason Kidd and Jason Terry and Sean Marion. You know, the whole world was telling us we were the one and done boys, that we were going to get knocked out in the first round. This team has so much heart, so much determination, and so much fortitude that, you know what, I love every one of them. And let me just tell you, our fans who came down here to Miami, you guys rock. We heard you guys. That's awesome. That's pretty rad. And the Padres lost yesterday again. They were shut out at home again. Jordan Zimmerman shut him down. Tim Stauffer pitched really, really well. Seven shutout innings and got a no decision. Heath Bell let up both runs in the ninth. Let's see. M1 Castile from Escondido. What was the word of the day? Pancho. That's right, buddy. Well done, my friend. You're going to see Kings of Leon. Hang on the line, okay? Right. Yep, the way you do it. I give you the word of the day at six. And then at some point between that point and ten, I'll say the word of the day when you hear it.
Caller number nine gets the prize. Today it only took an hour. Okay, so, ladies and gentlemen, we remember that. Ladies and gentlemen. Jay was a little upset, and here's why. Friday, we had a company come in like we do every Friday when we have a live studio audience and bring a lot of food. Okay? And Jay had prepared himself a take-home, sort of a... Trough. Trough, yeah. Sort of a doggy bag. Trey. Yeah, it's Trey. And put that aside. And what happened was, as a joke, we thought it would be funny. No, no. It's already getting a little spicy. But we thought it'd be funny to take his treats and hide them. Hilarious. And, well, we did.
And what happened, he got upset, and he called Woods after the show, and he said, where is my food? That's a little out of order. You're a little out of order. And what did you say, Woods? I said, I hit it. And Jay probably said, where? And I said, in the bathroom. On the sink. Ew. I was all in on the funding games. Were you? All in on the fun and games. I don't mind. You know, let's hide something. So I looked around here. I was in still good nature. I was like, oh, yeah, let's hid around here somewhere in woods. And Lauren even said, I know where it is. And I was like, don't tell me because I want to find it. Right. So I looked around, looked around. Finally, I was like, okay. Tell me, Lauren. Am I hot? She's like, okay. Well, you know you're hot. She's like, no. And she's like, oh, finally, she's kind of told me approximately where it was. And it wasn't where she said it was. Yeah, it wasn't. Apparently, somebody.
No, no. He had hidden it in here underneath the big lovesack first. Yep. And then moved it. Yep. Oh, yeah. Didn't know that. Yeah, moved it. I thought it was always in the bathroom. No. Okay, first it was on the lovesack. Yeah. Well, from Jay's recap, it says, Jay says, so... So... On Friday, I put together a tray of food to bring home for my family. Woods decided to hide it from me, so I look everywhere and finally had to call Woods to ask where it was. And he told me he put it in the men's room. Gross. In parentheses it says gross. When I checked, it was gone. Somebody had taken it. Weird. I was pissed. You know, I hate it when people mess with... Woods called me later to ask if we were cool. I feel cool because I have hidden Woods' headphones.
Yes, in retaliation, Jay took Woods headphones and put them in the refrigerator. All weekend. All weekend. When Chris saw me do it, he almost cried. He's like, you can't put legal financial property in the refrigerator. I'm like, I don't care. Almost cried. He was all serious. Now, here is my question for Jay. Jay, as the show was going on, started to pack up a trough of food. Yes. As the show was going on. Six pieces of pizza. Six pieces of pizza. Yeah, they were small pieces. They were small. No, they were not small. They were small. Guys, were those small pieces of pizza? The pieces I loaded up were small. And then... They brought you a midget pizza on the side. Now, what else? It was pizza, what else? It was the three caprese, you know, the tomatoes. There was more than three. It was three. I was three on a plate. It was like seven. No, it was three. So, we're on the air. And we're like...
I don't remember who, but somebody's like, look at Jay. We were in commercials. We were in commercials. Somebody goes, look at Jay. And I look out there, and there's Jay loading up food. While we're on the air, he's in a different room than us, and he's in the room where the food is kept. Right. So he has the advantage. Right. Oh, the advantage. Like, there wasn't food. We're on the air working. We're on the air working. We're in commercials. You were back here bouncing a ball at one point during commercials. Now, here's my question, Jay. What do you mean when you say, I hate it when people mess with my stuff? So, okay. When you gather something up, does it not become yours? You put it away for yourself, does it not become yours? No, not if it is. Well, if that's true. Well, wait a minute. If that's true, if that's true, that means I can gather your headphones and they're mine. No, the food that was brought in for us. Doesn't belong to me in the first place. Food was brought in for us. Your headphones aren't mine. Was the food brought in for us? Yes. Okay. Well.
Technically. Technically it was brought in for the listeners. If they weren't here, I bet they'd still bring it in. But anyway, regardless. So I packed up a to-go. So at that point, the to-go is not mine anymore? No, no, no. The to-go, I think the argument would be that the to-go should never have been yours. Why is that? Well, if the to-go... Hang on. If the to-go is going to be yours. Right. Wouldn't it seem logical that you might say to everyone, hey, does anybody want to take some of this stuff home? Which is what I did and you didn't. There was a ton of food still left over. There always is. People always come in and there's a ton of food left over. Jay, would you have a problem with the listener packing to go? No, if they want to take some to go. I always even offer to them whenever it's done. There was a ton of food left over. I've never gotten offered. Jay. You guys, I've offered like two or three times. Y'all was like, no, no, we don't. No, I'm not taking any food. But Kim said thanks, Woods. She really appreciated the fact that you... Your wife? I called Kim and said, hey, don't worry about it. I'll bring home lunch today. Hey, babe. Got some free food. Before I even start this conversation, I just want to say, I'm sorry, but I didn't get the eagle. I'm coming home and I don't have the eagle. And you know that's the code word for stolen food. Now, Kim,
You know the deal. Every opportunity I get, I will steal us some food. You know it. Now, I tried. In fact, babe, I did it. I heard it. It's in my possessions. And then, at some point, one of the fools I work with decided it would be a funny prank to steal my stolen food. Now, let me tell you something, Kim. We're getting to a point where I got to put cameras up so people don't steal the stuff I steal. I mean, can you believe that we live in a day and age where you can't even steal something without people stealing it? Yeah, we should just leave it here to waste it. That's right. We'll just throw it away. Like you do every day with your food, Mikey? Well, hang on a second. It wouldn't be wasted until people had the opportunity to take it. Yes. Oh, so I should just leave it out for whoever wants to take it? I shouldn't prepare for my own to go? Yes. Yeah. Yes. Equal opportunity. Oh, okay. So I'll throw it out here from now on. You know what they're mad about? They are mad that I didn't ask if anybody else wanted some food. Now, what do you make of that? It was clear you'd stuffed yourself already.
Oh, wow. It is all over. Ouch. Holy smokes. And it would require effort to warm it up, too. It isn't going to matter what we say. Whatever you think you know about this man is a reveler. Yeah, it's a reveler. It doesn't matter what you say. It's a reveler. So my new bit will be, hey, guys. Does anybody want a common courtesy? You were done. Everybody was done. We were on the air. We were in commercials. It was the last break. I took all the rap for this bit and it was all of our idea. You know he went home and he's like, now listen to me. I won't kill that son of a bitch. This is the second time in two weeks he's pissed me off and I'm going to kill it. I believe it was funny that you hit it. I wouldn't hide it in the bathroom. Well, it had a cover on it. It doesn't matter. It's where people go to wash their hands. I didn't put it in the toilet. I put it on the sink. Yeah, which if anything is on your hands. A lot of people do do it on the sink. Yeah, I think you get it on your hands. That's where you come. Yeah, that's what I do. I know I wipe the sink every time before I wash my hands. If you're going to hide any of my stuff anymore, I would appreciate it anywhere but there. All right, I'll hide it under your chair next time. Oh, that's true. Now, I will say that...
that Woods and Jay, they do a thing where they do ball checks on each other. Yes. Okay? And they've always done it. Since they, almost from the moment they met, they will ball check each other. I have noticed that those ball checks have become more and more vicious. Yeah. And to the point where I've almost said, listen, you guys, it's fine for you guys to ball check each other, but they're becoming a little... on the violent side more punching i've seen i have seen each of you almost take the other to his knees yeah he got me before the picture the other day with all the listeners in here i mean right before we took the picture he goes whack and i one knee i was on well i think that we've all learned a valuable lesson the lesson here is a don't steal stolen food all right happy birthday jay and kim Also, Jay has learned, all right, fine. I'll ask if anybody wants something before I take it from the sale. And you all say, no, no, no. At the end of the show, ask. I'm not going to wait. I'm going to wait until the last commercial break before the show because I want to get out of here just like everybody else. Chances next week, Kim will be a live studio audience member. With a giant suitcase. Dude. You didn't bring home the food?
I tried. Freaking woods. Woods. Dude, the other thing is there was so much leftover food. I go, I'm sorry. And I did. I go, I'm sorry, dude. We were just joking around. Make another trough. Because there was plenty of stuff to make another trough. I don't want that trough. I want the one I made. I made a special trough. Yeah. So there you go. For all the treats that I like and love. Your butt hurt. about the fact that you didn't get to take any food home. I'm not butthurt. But Sienna's the only one who took food home. I'm not butthurt. I'm not butthurt. I just thought it was funny. I'm not butthurt. Nobody's butthurt. Well, I think one guy's butthurt. Yeah, I am. I'm not butthurt. Hey, by the way, so you know, you're paying me for it. Yeah, I figured. Y'all owe me $11.14, which would be the actual retail price of... That food, if we used to add it up. I felt so guilty driving home. I was like, I'm going to have to buy them dinner. Like, that's just how I felt. He was mad. He was mad mad. All right. It's time for Pick a Scene. Oh, man. Now, here's what we do. I'm going to draw two names out of the bucket. The names are those of us on the Mikey Show. Oh, no. I'm going to draw two names out of a bucket. Whoever's names are drawn have to do the scene that I will pick.
In front of our live studio audience on Friday. It's mortifying. I'm reaching into the names. And I'm drawing one. I have drawn one. The name is Sienna. Yes. I knew it. I knew it. Sienna. I knew it. I knew it. Sienna, your partner. Don't. Pick a scene. Uh-oh. I'm going to vomit. Your partner in pick a scene will be Lauren. Yeah! Oh, yeah! Black Swan. Victory. Black Swan. You're a creep. Black Swan. Oh, my. Wild Things. Oh, my gosh. Wild Things. I'm just checking to make sure that Jay didn't cheat. I'm pulling the other names out. They are Mike, Woods, and Jay. All right. Are you ready for the scene? No. Oh, boy. This is the scene that you're going to do. Oh, my gosh. The scene that you are doing is?
Don't be a love star. That is not. We don't even have that. Black Swan. The scene that you're doing is the pottery scene from Ghost. Yes! The pottery scene from Ghost. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, that is great. Are you guys ready for that? It's stupid. It's no problem. We'll be fine. Whatever. It's not a big deal. Yeah, you will. Oh, my. So which one of us has to take our shirt off? There is no shirt taking off. Isn't there? Is there? Yes. I wore a dress. There's no shirt taking off. We're obviously not taking off our shirt. Yeah, you're obviously not taking off. The audience would vote for Sienna. Well. All right. Shut up. I cannot wait. Now, that means that our promotion director, Adam, is going to have to find us.
You know, Pottery Wheel. Oh, my God. The whole thing. Sienna and Lauren are not even, they can't even look at each other right now. They can't look at each other right now. Who's going to be who? Yeah. That's between you two. You guys got to work on your own scene. Oh, my God. I'm so embarrassed already. Lauren is bright red. Yes. Sienna is turning bright red. Oh, my God. That's fantastic. Fantastic. Great. It's all worthwhile. They have to memorize the lines. Oh. And. Are there even any lines? There is, isn't there? I haven't seen it forever, but I'm sure that they say stuff to each other, you know, that's like. Oh, I can't wait. Loving. Just rubbing that. pottery stuff together and clay. Such an iconic scene. We're friends. It will be no big deal. Something we haven't done before. Are we going to have cocktails beforehand? That will make it a lot easier. I had to get in a dress and Jay had to rub an animal cracker up my hairy belly. Kiss you on the belly. You didn't have to. That's what he does. You sell out for our roles, Mike.
Do we have time for Kazoo That Tune? I think we could do it, don't you? Let's give it a shot. 5701949, what do we have as a prize to give away, Jason? We have a digital download of the new Def Cab for Cutie album, Codes and Keys. That's cool. We're going to do this with Kazoo, all right? We're just going to switch it up a little bit. 5701949, give us a call. and play kazoo that tune. Mikey Show, who is this? This is M1Bus. M1 who? M1Bus? Bud, Bud, Bud. Okay, we're going to have Woods go first, and you're going to listen to Woods doing the kazoo, and you've got 20 seconds to give us either title or artist. Here we go. Yes, you got it. That song is fantastic. All right, hang on the line, dude. You win, okay? All right, hang on. M1New is up next. Are you ready, New? Yeah. All right. Lauren is going to play something for you. And you got 20 seconds to give me title or artist. Here we go. Title or artist to win M1 New. I have no freaking clue. The Gang, bro. That was celebration. Come on. That one was so easy to make. Sorry, bro. It's weird that LLB picked a Cool in the Gang song. Oh, that's great. All right. Up next, M1 Amanda. Are you ready to play? I'm here.
All right, I'm going to give this to you. You're going to have 20 seconds to figure out title or artist. Here we go. Title or artist to win. I have no clue. I got a whole lot of love. M1 Chemistry, are you there? What up, dude? Sienna is going to give this a try. Sienna, are you ready? Yeah. All right, 20 seconds to tell me what this is. Here we go. M1 Chemistry, can you give me title or artist for the win? What's up tonight? That'll work. I mean, oops. I mean, yes. Yes. Well done, my friend. Well done. Chance is Todd gave you that idea for that song. I did. It's one of our songs. Love it. Younger. I just want to use your love tonight. So go ahead and mark this next one under, I guess I haven't heard everything. TV show on, we have some audio of. The guy that makes love to something. Oh.
It is not a woman. In fact, it is not a person. In fact, it is not an animal. In fact, it is an inanimate object. And we'll explain next. Is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. We're a small business. We diagnose trees, treat diseases, and do large tree removals. Shelly Bavaro, owner, Marin County Arborist. and Verizon Wireless customer. Well, we have Verizon tablets and smartphones because our crews have got to be connected. We use GPS maps, we exchange photos, and we generate estimates on the spot so we're more responsive to our clients. Verizon technology gives your small business the power to do more on America's largest and most reliable wireless network. Come in today for the best selection of smartphones and tablets like the new Verizon 4G LTE USB motor for only $99.99 after a $50 mail-in rebate debit card.
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And they're going to tell you that, you know, they're going to give you the straight dope, man. They're going to let you know, listen, you're good. You're not good. Get in there and see them today. 858-452-3937 or online at www.clearvieweyes.com. A home is more than four walls and a roof. It's where lifelong relationships are forged, where couch cushion forts are made, where memories are created. It's part of the family. So when you're shopping for a home at Wells Fargo, we're with you. That's why we created the Wells Fargo Priority Buyer Pre-Approval. Come in, sit down, and talk with a Wells Fargo home mortgage consultant, and we'll let you know the mortgage loan range for which you could qualify. A Priority Buyer Pre-Approval is a great first step to help give you the confidence and peace of mind to know the homes you are looking at are within your price range. So while you're busy sizing up which living room is best for board game night, at least you'll know how much house is right for you. Call, click, or stop by Wells Fargo today to find out more about a Wells Fargo Priority Buyer Pre-Approval. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. A priority buyer pre-approval is not a commitment to lend. Please call for additional program details. Wells Fargo Home Mortgages, Division of Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC, equal housing lender. There's a reason why you see so many people walking around with earphones. We love listening to music. And aside from gothic doom metal, music makes us feel good. We bob our heads, tap our feet, play air guitar.
We feel music in our bodies, our minds, and our souls. Studies show that music can actually reduce depression and anxiety. It can calm us down and even offer relief from chronic pain. That's some pretty powerful medicine. So here's a sonic prescription from Kaiser Permanente. Listen to music daily. Twice daily. Three times daily. Or just as needed. Explore new music. Expand your playlist. Sing along at the traffic light with foolish abandon. Because not only can music rock your world, it can make you happier and healthier. We're Kaiser Permanente, and we want you to live well, listen well, and thrive. For music to thrive by, visit kp.org slash thrive slash music. Put your pedal to the metal, because the San Diego County Fair is revving up for $3 Tuesday, June 14th. Fair admission is just $3, but only when you buy your ticket at Albertson Savon. Visit sdfair.com for details and more deals. Miles to the mile at the San Diego County. Presented by Albertson Savon. And now, Walmart's countdown to summer. Low-price tips to get you ready for outdoor fun. This week's project, The Perfect Pool. Walmart's got two words for you. Pool party. But before you have folks over for a dip, make sure your pool is crystal clear. Walmart has low prices on all the HTH pool care products you need for balancing, chlorinating, shocking, and preventing algae in your pool. HTH products are in outdoor living at Walmart. So they have one more word for you.
Thanks to Walmart's low prices every day on everything. Save money, live better. Walmart. Prepare for an adventurous career by earning a professional certificate in marine technology from National University Polytechnic Institute. Available specializations include advanced dive medicine and underwater inspection technology. Classroom courses and hands-on training are held at our convenient San Diego campus. National University Polytechnic Institute provides assistance with job placement. Financial aid is available for those who qualify. Learn more at nupolytech.org. nupolytech.org. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. My colleague is speaking double to share some great news from Shell and Ralph's. When you fuel up at Shell, take your receipt to Ralph's and get double rewards points when using your Ralph's rewards card. And double rewards points means faster earnings. Yep. Let me repeat that for emphasis. No, no, no, no. We got it. Okay. Your Shell fuel receipt earns you double rewards points at Ralph's. Well, all right then. Well, all right then. Fuel earnings are limited to up to 35 gallons per purchase. Offer valid through August 31, 2011 at participating Shell Stations. See stores for details or go to www.ralphs.com slash fuelpromotion. Hear the authentic surf report daily at 7.30 a.m., 2.15 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. on FM 94.9. Supported by Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer.
This report, it's brought to you by IHOP. A good meal makes your whole day like IHOP's thick, juicy bacon and beef burgers with hickory smoked bacon blended right into the beef for delicious bacon flavor in every bite. It's a great way to make it an IHOP day. Heading on the freeways, a little back up here in Santee this morning, 67 northbound Lakeside Avenue down to Bradley. It's about 29 miles an hour. Also, we do have some delays as you travel through the 94 eastbound Campo Road down to about Avocado. 24 miles an hour. This report also brought to you by the San Diego County Fair. Race to the San Diego County Fair now through July 4th. Celebrate Southern California's car culture along with the fair favorites you've come to love. Visit SDFair.com for details. I'm Stacey Cohen on FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Surfshed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Monday morning, brought to you by Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Surfwise today looking pretty weak and bleak as that southwest swell continues to taper off. A little bit of a west-northwest wind swell all but gone as well. That means waves have dropped back down in that kind of ankle-to-knee-high zone, maybe waves tight to standout spots.
Dealing with a low tide this morning too, which is taking a little bit of the size off of it, but really not that big of a factor as it is just a small combination of directions. Overcast skies will greet you once again. June gloom to be sure. A little bit of a soft wind on it as well. So all in all, not looking all that promising this morning. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And again, this surf report is brought to you proudly by Frostbrood Coors Light. And it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Fried chicken may be my favorite food item. Lauren. You know what? I'm just going to eat bad today. Let's get Burger King. Woods. It's the only thing I'm good about is washing my dishes, putting them in the dishwasher. Now, I don't know how to run our dishwasher. I've never. Never once turned it on. Sienna. I feel great because I love to go on walks and I hate to run. And Jay. I like mayonnaise and crackers. On FM 94.9. Got some real cool Mikey Show sweatshirts on sale here at the radio station if you want to get them. So, you know me. I'm a Nat Geo freak, man. I love to watch National Geographic Channel. Mainly because it's in high definition, but also because they have some pretty interesting stuff on there. What about this dude, though?
They got a show on there called Taboo. And I was just like wondering, you know, thinking to myself sort of where we are as culture and all that. When you're getting into this kind of stuff. In Washington State, 59-year-old Edward Smith lives a quiet life on the outskirts of the small town of Yelm. He enjoys his rural lifestyle and like many other men, he adores his cars. There's cinnamon, ginger, and his favorite. Vanilla. He cleans them, polishes them, and when the moment takes him, makes love to them. This is Vanilla, my 1974 standard Beetle, and the love of my life. Many people are attached to their cars, but Edward treats his like it's his wife. Most folks take it to a certain point, but with me it's identify where there is a love mate.
That guy could be matching paint next to you at Home Depot. You don't even know it. You know what I mean? Just filling up next to you at Chevron. Hey, how you doing, buddy? In his love portal? Yeah. Filling up his love portal? Yeah, filling up his wife. Yeah. Dude. I mean. Come on. Sienna. Do you really, like, admit to that if you're that crazy? I think you would hide it. Of course you would. In fact, the producers of the TV show Taboo. They must have put something out. And what they do is they probably go in, you know, kinky magazines or something, right? Yeah. I'm serious. How do they find this clown? Who knows? Don't they have to put ads out in the worst kind of, you know, German porno magazines? Craigslist. Or Craigslist, same thing. If you make love to something weird, please write us.
I make love to my car. Come on. Do you? Oh, doesn't he? Does he? Yes. Ed recalls his first romantic encounter with a vehicle at the age of 14. Neighbors had a beetle, and I remember late at night going up to it and giving it a hug. It was the first time I'd ever actually hugged and kissed in an automobile. First time. Beetle. You never forget your first. Nope. You know. Never forget the first time you hug and kiss a beard. You know what I mean? He was a gentleman, though. Yeah. In winter, Edward prefers lovemaking with cinnamon in the warmth of his garage. Of course. It's kind of a substitute, but a great way to relieve my passion, you might say. Maybe meet a girl. Yeah. Boy. That's real. You sleep with a woman? Yeah. Okay. At what age did it all go wrong? I mean, I guess 14, but what makes you go, I think I'm going to do this car. What makes that happen upstairs? One minute, you're having a grilled cheese sandwich with a nice tomato soup. Watching Three's Company. Watching Three's Company.
And approximately 10 minutes later, you find yourself making love to a Beetle? A Volkswagen Beetle? Pants around your ankles. What? Going to war. Hey, can I ask you a question? Yes. What's worse? Getting put in the paper because you had your pants around your ankle making love to a Beetle or your pants around your ankle making love to a sheep? What's worse? Sheep. Sheep. Sheep's got to be worried. Yeah. It's another living thing. It's against the law. Yeah, the car is not. Yeah. Have at it. Really. There's no law against that. I'm lost for words. I really am. I've never heard of anything like that. Plus, what would those babies look like? I mean. I know it. This is kind of gross. I know. Probably your old car. Yeah. That's true. Cinnamon. Yeah. Vanilla. Your old eco-friendly car. That's what I always thought. Yeah, I was like, whenever I would see those eco-friendly cars, I would go, did the thing from Alien have sex with a person? Somebody slayed a person. One of those cars. And then that happened. What a weirdo. Let's see. So, we got a text here. And this text... Before we get to the text, it said...
Very scandalous text. But before we get to that, how about some of this? If you have a question for Woods, call us right now, 570-1949. Woods does all of our guy's guy questions in Woods of Wisdom. You can either write us by going to the website. You can write Woods and ask questions. Or you can call. 570-1949, and you can ask a question by calling us. It just has to be your typical guy's guy type question. Even women can call. In other words, if you have a question about a dude, you can call, but mostly it's for dudes and guy's guy questions. This email says, Woods, I'm new on the dating scene after my divorce was final in January. The last two weekends in a row, I've noticed a kind of fad thing going on. It's padded bras.
It's like the kind with water in them. Is this a new bit that women do or what? M1 gullible. Woods? I'm a married man. So, however, I've been privy to a couple of these padded bras and water bras over the years. And, I mean, I think it's a pretty weak bit. It's called an oasis. Yeah, I think it's pretty weak. But, you know, better than nothing, right? No. Yeah. No. Where I come from, nothing would be better. Not me. The decoy. The decoy. The decoy. The decoy. You know who doesn't have to deal with having a girl have phony boobs? Well, he's not sleeping with her. He's just grabbing her boobs. Isn't he? Is he? So he should wait until marriage to find out that she's wearing a water bra. Oh, boy. Well, if you get to the point where you're ready to marry a girl,
and her bra is what is the make it or break it, Jay, then I suggest you take a look at what your priorities are. False advertising. What if you thought she was a C and you were getting an A? And you're married. It's a lie. You're living a lie. She's a liar. If you're a boob man, then who knows you? Yeah, which I am. I think we all are. I think guys all are. Not all guys. Jay's not. He doesn't care. I like them all size. Well, yeah, but you like them. Oh. Love them. But some guys have a minimum, you know. Woods. Aren't some guys butt guys and don't even care about boobs? Yes. Yeah. Some guys are leg guys. I like the whole package. Yeah, well, so Woods, what advice would you give to this guy? Nothing. Get out there and keep swinging, pal. I mean, it's the way it's going to be. It's the way it is now. That's my advice.
It's the way it is now. It's the way it is. It didn't used to be like this back in the day. You knew what you were getting. You knew what you were getting. Nowadays, you get these girls, they got the water bed going on. Yeah. When you feel it, it feels very strange. Really? From my memory. Memory? You guys should go into like a Victoria's Secret and just check out the kind of bras that are available now. You wouldn't believe it. So, Sienna. Do they come with water already in them? Oh, yeah. They have little chicken cutlet. They look like chicken breasts that you insert in there. That sounds so gross. I know. What's in there? I don't know. Like a silicone substance? Yeah, it's something squishy. It's like jello. Does it take you from... Oh, it enhances big time. Well, I know, but what I'm wondering is how much. Like, does it take you from an A to a C? Oh, it will make... Yeah. If you have small boobs, it will make it look like you have some serious cleavage with those things. Oh, okay. So it's to create cleave. Yes. It's a bummer. You get home, you're like, oh, wow, that's not what I expected at all. You're not marrying a girl for her T's. We accessorize with our T's. Aren't you?
No, bro. Oh, come on. Sienna. A lot of guys would. He enjoys your boobies, but that's not the way he married you. Yeah, it was the sprinkles. It called his attention to order. Yeah, I gotta have it. I'll marry it. I gotta have it. I gotta have it. I'll marry it. Make sure nobody else has it, and then I get it. I'm going to marry you. Exactly what I'm going to do. It's a lure. Sounds like a great marriage. Yeah, it's a lure. It's a lure. It's a lure. It's a true story. Good times. She may run mouth a lot, whatever, but... Are you kidding? Look at that. Good to go. Billy Joel got tired of having sex with Christy Brinkley. She was crazy, though. Yeah, she was crazy. Oh, that's what it was. That's what it was. Yeah. See, I thought it was the old adage that it doesn't matter. At some point, you have to think of ways to spice it up. No matter what, you got to think of ways to spice it up. I mean, listen to Gullible. I know you're new out in the Dayton scene and everything. Padded bras.
Yeah, they're going to have padded bras. Who cares? Sounds like Gullival's right back in the fold, though. Yeah, nice work. Making it right. 570-1949. M1 Joe Hammy from PB. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead. You got a question for Woodsy? Yeah, a question for Woods regarding baseball bats. I currently play in the San Diego Baseball League in the aluminum bat, 18-8. Division? Yes. And next season, they're going to all wood. Oh, yeah. In your opinion, what's the best wooden bat? And have you heard of the composite bat? Yeah. My whole team uses Bear Valley bats. They're awesome. Big, thick heads and nice, thick handles. And they are so good. They're so good. You filthy, dirty birdie. I'm just adding to the conversation. Yeah. Check out Bear Valley bats. They're awesome. Okay, what do those run roughly? Like $60, you know, $45 to $60. Do they last a while? Yeah, I've had mine all year. Of course, I've never been hitting the ball that well, but it works in the cage. Based on my batting average, it may last me the rest of my life. Which is actually looking to sell it. Check them out. And also, dude, just to start.
You know, go to Sports Authority. They got some stuff there, too, that are like 30, 40 bucks. The old Louisville Sluggers, you know, never fail. Yeah, a little cheapies. Yeah, get a couple cheapies. But if you want to go big time, get you a Bear Valley. And you might get your name on it, too. It's pretty cool. All right, cool. Thank you. This is funny. This guy just texted us and said, my girlfriend's dog won't stop smelling my crotch. Her family laughs and thinks it's funny. It hurts and leaves wet marks on my pants. How do I let them know it's not cool? Maybe you use a moist wipe on yourself. Don't put a T-bone steak in your pants. You silly sausage. It's disgusting, dude. It's awful when the dogs do that. What's that? When they're relentless. When they're relentless. Yeah. They're just going. The owner should stop it. Maybe you should shoot the dog. Oh, Woods. You know, you just put your knee in the dog's chest. Yeah, just do that. Maybe wipe. Woods. I don't think that's the case. Clean house, dude. They're smelling something.
Really? Yeah. They're just smelling. They're just smelling. It's not because you're a dirty person. Dude, I know dogs. I've got a ton of dogs. They don't do that to anybody. Yours are ankle high. Yeah. They jump in your lap and they're not. Yeah. They also don't carry around a step stool. That's true. You know what I mean? And dogs, they do that. It isn't because you're not clean person. Isn't it? I don't think so. I think they like to do that. Yeah, they like to do that. Is it like some dogs, that's their bit, and the owners have to constantly be saying, don't do that, don't do that. Maybe you get some Cottonelle wipes and carry them around with you. Make it right for yourself. My dog not only likes to do that, he likes to nip you there. He thinks he's playing. He's like, whoa, hey. I love it. Can you imagine? If Lauren and Sienna came over to your house and your dog nipped him. Oh, he only does it to me because he's like, we're wrestling. He knows it. He only does it to you because you do it to him. I'll take you. He's fighting fair. He's just fighting fair. He's just doing what he's been taught. That's all. 5701949. We went to the park this weekend. My wife and I, we took the kids to the park.
There were people there. We drove up and I saw this dude with his dog. I instantly got nervous. Like, what if his dogs, you know, hurt the kids? Would this give me a look? Tell me what's happening in your head. Nothing. No, I want to know. I'll talk. I'll walk you through. Just immediate disdain for that statement. Just immediate disdain. Let's talk. Let's work through this. Because there are a lot of people listening right now that own dogs. And there's a lot of people listening right now that have kids there on both sides of the fence. I want to know where you are with this. Now, we were bringing all three. We had the little ones that are running around. They were going to be two years old in a couple weeks. And then we got Jake, who's four. And it was a dog. It was a Labrador. Was he on a leash? Nope. Just running around chasing balls? Yes. Scared the pants off me. He did. Yes. Was he very aggressive? No. I mean, but dude, I'm telling you, as soon as we pulled into the parking lot, I saw him sitting on the tennis court and instantly my heart went, and I got thoughts in my head. If that dog or any dog were to snap at one of my kids, I'd lose it. I'd protect my kid. Well, of course. Yeah. You know? Nothing wrong with that, but immediately thinking that he's going to do something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean.
That's where you have a problem. Yeah. I should think to myself that the dog is fine. Well, in your head, you should think, okay, I'm going to have to just make sure that I know he's there and I'm just going to watch out for him. Stay between the dog and the kids. Yeah. I resented that. And you're right. I did do that and I resented it. I thought you've now put me in a position where I now have to not be just totally relaxed. Now I have to be on guard. You're always on guard. Well, my good dads are. I mean, good dads and perfect dads are. You probably don't, Mike, because you are not a good dad. You bring a lazy boy to the park, you just play the park. So we should chain dogs up all the time. They should never have a place to play. It would have made me feel better, Jay, if he had on a leash. Yeah, that's no fun for the dog. If you always have to be on a leash every time. Happy birthday. Well, happy birthday to you. Run in and catch balls. Go to a park that doesn't have dogs in it. Is there such a thing? Yeah. Really? Most parks, there's like a certain hours that the dogs can be there. I didn't know. Then, I also left there feeling kind of bad because I had a little bit of a confrontation. With whom? A woman. An older woman.
What? I know. I forgot about it. Well, little Brian, little Brian had a bunch of brothers and sisters. Okay. And little Brian was running around and I was like, uh, I said, hi, what's your name? And he said, Brian, just like that. And I said, oh, hi, Brian. And, uh, he was just, uh, yeah. How old? Four, about four, about Jake's age. And Jake actually liked them. And there was a tree and Jake was having a good time kind of climbing this tree and then jumping off. Wasn't too high. He was having a good time. We were watching everything. Now, I could not, with this kid, Brian was like three of his sisters, ranging in age. The youngest of which was Crawler.
Not walk or crawler. And crawler started crawling up. The tree went at a 45 degree angle. You would climb it and then you would jump off. Well, crawler started crawling up the tree. Oh, no. And Rebecca had to grab crawler so crawler didn't get hurt. And crawler's older sister was probably about nine. And was, you know, Rebecca said, is that your sister? She said, yeah. She said, I don't know that she should be going up that thing by herself. Now, I say to Brian, I go, hey, is your daddy here? And Brian goes, no, he's at work. Just like that. Peach. His sweetheart. And I said, oh, really? He said, yes, if he wasn't at work, he would be here. So he's at work. That's why he isn't here. Like real just not nice kid, right?
And I said, I go, where's your mom? Over there. So I see mom on the cell phone, sunglasses, sundress, just hot. Probably about 25, maybe about 25, four kids. So I walked over. And when we come back, I'll tell you what happened. Oh, my God, it's better than I thought. Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. What do you consider a great value? Is it merely a bargain price? Is it getting something you don't really want simply because it's on sale? At Lexus, we think true value shouldn't be about getting less for less, but about getting more for less. At the Lexus 60 to 0 certified pre-owned sales event.
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This report is brought to you by the San Diego County Fair. Race to the San Diego County Fair now through July 4th. Celebrate Southern California's car culture along with the fair favorites that you've come to love. Visit SDFair.com. Heading on the freeways this morning, Carlsbad on the 5 northbound Cannon Road. There was an earlier accident. They just cleared that, so you should be able to get through. Looks like the 5 southbound between Cannon Road and Via De La Valle, though, is slow about 20-25 miles an hour. Escondido, the 15 southbound between El Norte. Norte Parkway, Center City Parkway, also very slow. This report brought to you by British Airways. They now fly nonstop to London from San Diego. That means you're going to spend more time in London, less time waiting to get there. For schedules and fares, visit BA.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back. To the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not very aware of what's happening around me. Lauren. Hey, if you got lips, you'd be smooching. Woods. I'm not doing butterfly kisses with you, dude. Zienna. Ooh, tagalongs. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker. On the course. On FM 94.9. I've been in the park. Got into a little bit of a, I'd call it altercation. You know, a little bit of a, eh, maybe it was.
Sienna, what's going on in the news? If you were at the San Diego County Fair yesterday, you may have noticed about 50 protesters marching outside. These protesters believe that the elephants, you know the elephant rides in the fair, they believe that the animals are cruelly treated by the trainers, that they're abusing them with hooks, elephant hooks. They do, don't they? They slap them in the back of the... They slap them around. We don't know that. I've seen it in those TV, like... And that stuff like when animals attack, like a lot of times they show, you know, these people, the way they train the elephants is they poke at them. They pull on them. That new movie with the vampire guy, Like Water. Interview with an elephant. Interview with an elephant. They were beating up those elephants. Way to go, Dracula. Yeah, so we'll be finding out the company that's in charge of the elephants, Have Trunk Will Travel, have not been reached for any comment, but their website says, Have Trunk Will Travel. Sorry, I thought you said, Have Trunk Will Travel. That's what I thought she said, but that would be ridiculous. That's what it's called. That's what they're called. And on their website, it says,
that they will help all elephants live healthier lives. So we'll see. Also, there is a man from California who's a salvage diver. And as of yesterday, he's been preparing for a mission to the North Arabian Sea. to recover Osama Bin Laden's body. Oh, good luck. His name is Bill Warren. He's 59 years old. He has vowed to scour the sea to find the corpse and to deliver evidence that he has killed. I'd love to talk to that guy. He has discovered more than 200 under sea wrecks, so he knows what he's doing. I'm going to have Jay try to get this guy. Okay, Bill Warren. Bill Warren. 59 years old, from California. Listen, how old? 59. That's so impossible, Bill. He said... I'm doing it because I'm a patriotic American who wants to know the truth. I do it for the world. Great. Guess what? We don't know where they dropped this body. And even if we did.
Even if we did, dude, he's got eaten by stuff. Shark food. Yeah. Let's see what's going on in the sports. Jeff Gordon got closer to the chase for the Sprint Cup championship. He won the 5-Hour Energy 500 at Pocono Raceway past Juan Pablo Montoya. Right after the restart. It was the 84th win of his career. And also Mike Tyson and Sylvester Stallone were inducted into the Boxing Hall of Fame. You knocked him down? Why don't you try knocking me down? You know, if I try to knock you down, I kill you. You know what we should do? We should do Stallone tunes and then Tyson tunes. That's the worst bit I've ever done on the radio. Tyson tunes. Okay, so I'm at the park to catch you up. First of all, when we drove into the park, I didn't like it already because I saw a dog. I know. Unleashed. Saw Unleashed. Saw Unleashed. Rabid. Probably rabid. More than likely. I saw an Unleashed Black Lab, and it just scared me, man. I didn't know. And I got little ones running around. I'm like, is this going to be a story that my kid will tell when he's 28? He'll be afraid of dogs. How come? Well, this one time when I was four, we went to the park.
This dog, you know, I thought he was nice and he bit me and I just don't want that, you know? And it's in the back of my head. I'm like, so I'm already, you know, on edge. My wife's probably listening going, you know, when aren't you when we go to the park? And she's right, by the way. She's right. It's a stressful place. It's a stressful place. And my wife told me, by the way, when we left, she goes, oh, yeah. She goes, I deal with this all the time. She goes, it's called park politics. Had no idea. I had no idea. She deals with this. It's the first time I dealt with it. So, park ball. I've never heard that. Oh, yeah. I know what she's talking about. Oh, yeah. It's all, you know, it's all the hens that are out there and they got issues with each other. And guess what? I got thrown right into it. I was one of these hens. So, this tree, you know, has grown at a 45 degree angle and the kids are running up this tree and they're jumping off. And Jake is four. And the kid that in question here is this kid, Brian. And he's running up and he's jumping off. And he's a mischievous kid. And what I'm really afraid of, and you know, the mind wanders. The mind starts. That's why I thought the thing about the dog, that the dog would do something because the mind wanders. So in my mind, I'm fast forwarding the take. I'm like, oh, great. This kid Brian's going to haul off and sock Jay in the face, you know?
And Jake's so sweet. He's out there. He's so sweet. And so they're jumping off. And this kid is just, he's got this mouth. And I say, where's your mommy? And he goes, she's over there. Like real jerky. So mommy has been on the phone. Oh, that's mommy. She's the woman that's been on the phone, on her cell phone, for the last 25 minutes. And she's wearing sunglasses and talking on the phone. And she's a large woman. And so she's taking up a lot of space on this thing that you sit on. This jungle gym. It's like a jungle gym. And it's got stairs. Well, she's sitting on one of the ways that you get up it. And Ryan was trying to go up it. And I was trying to lead him. And I, eh, whatever. I'm not going to, eh, whatever.
I'm not upset at that. I'm kind of upset and I thought, well, it's kind of rude. She can see that there's a little boy trying to climb up and she's still just sitting there on the cell phone. But oh well. So a little bit later on, I'm over there at the tree and these kids are unsupervised. And Crawler, I call this little girl Crawler because of the four kids that this woman had at the age of 25, 26. Of the four kids that she had, this was the youngest and she was a crawler. And she's crawling up the tree. And Rebecca's babysitting. And I don't want my wife babysitting our kids and her kids. Babysit your kids. Maybe it does take a village. I don't want to be a part of the village today. I just want to play at the park. And so I walk over to the lady and I said, excuse me, are those your kids? And she goes, and I'm not exaggerating.
I'm not putting on a voice. I'm not mocking. This is how she talked. Yeah. Still on the phone? Still on the phone. Yeah. And I said, okay, because there's one over there, the little one, and she's not being supervised. It's all right. My mom's over there. It's all right. I go, all right. So I turn around. I walk back over. And sure enough, now her mom is over there. Okay? Mom is older lady. So I walk back over. And Jake is crawling up and this kid is, you know, like doing his thing. And I go, all right, come on, let's go. Jake, let's go over somewhere else, play somewhere else. And from behind me, I hear, is there a problem? I said, are you talking to me? And she says, yes. And I said, yeah, there's a problem. She said, what is it? And I said, that kid's got a smart mouth.
Is this mom saying this to you or is this grandma? Grandma. Okay. What's the problem? I said, that kid has a smart mouth. And she goes, yes, he does. He does. I know. And I thought, oh, okay, cool. In my mind, I thought, oh, cool. She gets it. Same page. Yeah. And so I said, come on, Jake. Come on. And Rebecca had already walked away. Come on, buddy. Why? Because I don't want you hanging out with these kids. And she goes. The grandmother. And I go, I don't want that kid rubbing off on my kid. I was just honest. Now, afterwards we left. Rebecca goes, what happened? So I tell her. She goes, you know, when you were gone, she didn't know that I was married to you. So she went, what's his problem? Because I went to talk to her. And she said, what's his problem? And my wife said, I don't know. That's who he is.
I know, he's a pain in the arse. Ask myself that every day. I know. But anyway, so we get in the car and she says, so what happened? I tell her the story. And she goes, yeah, playground politics. And I go, is that like a thing? She goes, yeah. She says, you know, I said, what I did was probably not right. And she said, yeah, she goes, you know, she goes, I'll give you a pass because she asked you. She asked you, she goes, you wouldn't have said anything on your own. And I wouldn't have. I was, I had no plans to say anything, but she said, is there a problem? Well, yeah, they're kind of, yes, there is. I mean, I could lie to you and go, no, there's no problem. But that would be a, you know, flat out lie. The truth is there's a problem. That kid has a smart mouth and that mom doesn't care. And Rebecca says, listen, kids got to live in the world. Kids got to live in the world. What are you going to do? Yep.
And I agree with that. I agree. And so you're kind of in this rock and a hard place. I mean, if I had it to do all over again, I suppose I wouldn't have taken him out of there. And when I did take him out of there, I think I wanted to cause a scene. I think I wanted this lady to know, which is really wrong of me. I think I wanted this lady to know how much I disapproved of her grandchildren. When in reality, I could have just let Jake play with him and probably nothing would have happened. But I had to let her know what a bad mother her daughter was, which is really wrong. And so in evaluating it, I'm like, yeah, they got to live with kids like that every day. And maybe it's a teaching thing where I say to him, hey, buddy, I don't want you to talk like that.
But if I'd have said that then, then grandmother would have been like, talk like what? Like a little wiseacre. That's like what? So there was a whole commentary going on on my part. You know, I first of all, I resented being there with the dog running loose. So I already feel like that dad. And then I'm like what I'm asking myself. I'm like, so who are you, Mike? Dad of the year. Are you dad of the year? You're sitting here casting judgment. And what are you, dad of the year? And it is, you know, I don't know. I guess it's a fine line. I guess it's a deal where you don't know. I don't know. It's funny, though. Little kids are such sponges. Like Jasper will come back, and I can tell almost who he's been playing with because he takes on their personality and their behavior and says things they say almost to a T. And you have to, you know.
rub it off of them you know like hey be yourself you know kind of come back to who you are yeah we can't stop it that's the thing we can't stop it and and that's what i was doing i was interfering trying to stop it and what i should have done is gone let him experience growing up with kids that are whacked out man he's gonna anyway and then explain to him afterwards you see like that little kid was not very polite jake you make sure you don't ever talk to people like that so he uses that as like a learning tool yeah And thank your lucky stars that that's not your kid. So what was I? Hurt? Sad? I was fearful. I was fearful something was going to happen to my kid when I was looking at her. Probably sad for those kids, too. You know, because their mom's not paying attention to them. The baby's going to get injured. It just sounds like awful. I wish it was more altruistic. I didn't really have that good of... thoughts in my head i wish i did i wish i could say yes i was sad for those children their poor upbringing mostly i was just selfish and thinking about myself my own gratification and letting this woman know that our daughter was a bad mom and i was dug in m1 ariel from san diego are you there uh yeah hey how's it going good um you know i would have done the same thing i think maybe without
given the judgment that, you know, we're human and that happens. But I would have taken my kids out of the situation. We deal with playground politics all the time. I've got a three and a six-year-old. And I would have taken my kids out simply to be a good model for the kids. If you're in a bad situation, that you remove yourself instead of having some other bad thing happen. Thank you. Yeah, I get what you're saying. And, you know, the playground politics goes beyond just... You know, usually it's Rebecca dealing with it. There's dads there. There's a bunch of dads there. So I'm dealing with dad stuff, too. At one point, Jake was playing with some kid's toys. I don't know whose toys and the toys are getting played with. And I am apologizing to this guy. The guy says, oh, yeah, it's not even our toys. It's so awkward. It's just so, you know, you're constantly looking, going, can you do something with the, you know, and then you realize, oh, I'm not. And then somebody's like, hey, hey, hey. And you're like, hey, what are you telling me? Oh, boy. You're just constantly, it's a constant deal. Something you have to get used to. Yes. You know, and then you kind of relax. Rebecca's used to it. Rebecca's been dealing with it. M1 Watchdog is driving on the 15 right now. You there? Yeah, hey, good morning. Good morning. You're absolutely right. Absolutely right. My thing was is your kids need to see you stand up for something.
You know, and see you make you do the right. Because if you were on the flip side of that, you would be telling your kids, hey, don't do that. Don't do that to that other child. It's just a respect thing. You're right, Mike. Thank you. Now I'm going to think about it. Because now you made me think of something that makes me feel a little guilty. So do I want Jake going, yeah, your kid's got a smart mouth. You know, like, don't I sound like kind of a, should I be talking like that? The only thing that I thought you did wrong was say it in front of the kids. It's one thing if you talk to the grandma aside and say, look, your kid has a smart mouth. I just don't want my kid around it. The kids didn't hear it. Oh, they didn't? No. Because if the little kids are all looking at you guys talking, that's a little weird. No, it wasn't like that. I thought it was a little harsh. Yeah, me too. I thought it was a little harsh. I don't want my kid here because your kid's got a smart mouth. It was haughty. It was a little haughty. Maybe. Is that the word I'm looking for? Hottie is like prideful. And there was a little bit. It was like, look what a tough guy I am. No, not for you per se. More of Jake. But for me, there was this kind of thing of like, you're going to say to me, do you have a problem? And that's BS. Because was the kid lipping off to you? Yeah. He was lipping off to you? Well, then maybe you're on the right. He's a little snot. He's a little snot. And I really didn't want Jake picking up that snot.
That little attitude. No. Yeah. He'll get it, man, in school and everything, everywhere else. I know it. Hanging out with Uncle Woods. Did you tell Jake afterwards, explain yourself at all? Well, when Jake said, why are we leaving? I said, because I don't want you hanging out with this kid. Yeah. But did you tell him why, what the kid was doing that he shouldn't be doing? No. You should kind of like explain to him like the right and the wrong in that. And so he learns. It's hard. It's a hard situation. Yeah, because my heart was beaten and I was all mad. No, very understandable. Oh, totally. Put me in that position. What do I say? Yeah, you've got a problem. Kid's being a punk. Same thing. I would have said the same thing. My deal is I wouldn't say anything to the parents just because... What if they ask? What if she goes, do you have a problem? I like to avoid conflict as much as possible, but I would definitely pull Jasper aside and go, God, did you see that? I do not want you to behave that way. Because you're not going to change her. You're not going to change it. All it's going to do is make a conflict at the park. She's going to get more dug in then. You know, because she thinks you're insulting her. She's not going to go. See, now what I thought was, I later, I thought, I wonder if she will say to herself, yeah, you know, my daughter. Maybe she'll say to the daughter, why don't you freaking, do you know what that guy did? You know? Get off the phone. Get off the phone. That guy was, you know, you weren't even watching Crawler. Poor Crawler. Poor Crawler. Poor Crawler, man. Yeah. But I don't know. I kind of.
I got upset at myself about it because I was pretty, I think I was a little bit haughty and a little bit, I don't know. 5701949. Inner struggle, my friend. Be different, Mike. That's why I got a bracelet on that says be different. Bedifferentpact.org is a website that I started with these wristbands. Say be different. And the idea is that you put other people before yourself, you know, which by the way. has become 50 billion times harder for me personally ever since I started it. But it's just hard when I looked at that lady over there on the cell phone. I was like... It lit you up. Heck yeah. Let's see. You want to hear what Conan O'Brien sounds like when he's giving a commencement speech? He's pretty good. He's pretty dang funny, man. Dartmouth.
Good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth class of 2011. Today you have achieved something special. Something only 92% of Americans your age will ever know. A college diploma. That's right, with your college diploma, you now have a crushing advantage over 8% of the workforce. I'm talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg. Incidentally, speaking of Mr. Zuckerberg, only at Harvard would someone have to invent a massive social network just to talk with someone in the next room. That's pretty good. That's good. Dr. Phil had to call 911. The address of the emergency. What's the phone number you're calling from? That's probably right. Sure, tell me exactly what happened. My wife is down on the tennis court, and I think someone down there has had a heart attack, but I'm not sure.
So you're not there with... I am here, but we've got a very big place. We need somebody root rolling right now. You don't understand, okay? What we live in basically is picture a compound multiply it times 10, okay? Have you ever been to Manhattan? That's our home. Okay, that would be roughly the size of our living estate. So it would be as if I were on the Upper East Side and somebody was having a heart attack. Down by Battery Park. I can't see down there. I'd need not just binoculars. I'd need the damn Hubble Space Telescope. I'm going to have somebody at the gate to let them mention about what's going on. I don't. I'm going to find out right now. No, I mean, I barely know who plays tennis here. They're going to have to go right around the Ferrari in the front.
Not the one in the back. Don't get confused. There's a lotus that might be there too. So be careful. Now, I don't know if we're washing the lotuses today. The Lodi. But if we are, there's a Bentley. We have a gate made out of pearls. Not to be confused with the pearly gates. The pearly gates. But it's a gate made of pearls nonetheless. Although many times people do confuse it for the actual pearly gates. People will come to my house and they'll go, oh my gosh, I've died. I've died and gone to heaven. This is heaven. What Fiverr is, Fiverr.com will tell you all about it coming up. It's pretty cool. Plus, did Tracy Morgan cross the line? We'll explain next. Let your voice be heard on the Mikey Show now. You've got to go. Call 570-190. Here comes the best part. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. You guys care about the rules? More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Celebrate. On FM 94.9. This is the FM 94.9.
Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Tuesday night, see the Meat Puppets at the Casbah. And Thursday night, the 16th, Matt and Kim in the Thermals will play House of Blues. Both those bands put on really good live shows. Aukerville River and Titus Andronica are at the belly up on the 24th. Go see Black Rebel Motorcycle Club for a Del Mar racetrack for a club Friday. That's on July 29th. Big Sonic Chill presents Sia at House of Blues August 11th. Death Capricutti hit the rematch August 16th. The Kills are at House of Blues September 11th. And Peter, Bjorn, and John are coming back to the belly up September 30th. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. We're a small business. We diagnose trees, treat diseases, and do large tree removals. Shelley Bavaro, owner, Marin County Arborist, and Verizon Wireless customer. Well, we have Verizon tablets and smartphones because our crews have got to be connected. We use GPS maps, we exchange photos, and we generate estimates on the spot so we're more responsive to our clients. Timber! Verizon Technology gives your small business the power to do more on America's largest and most reliable wireless network.
Come in today for the best selection of smartphones and tablets, like the new Droid Charge by Samsung for $299.99. No rebate required. More small businesses choose Verizon than any other wireless carrier because they know the small business with the best technology, rules. Visit any Verizon wireless store, verizonwireless.com slash smallbusiness, or call 1-800-VZW-4BITS. New to your activation and data pack required. Redetermination and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com. Preference results based on third-party study. There is a new celebration inspired by a world far, far away. Wild creatures, both real and imaginary, will be honored. Ancient arts, both magical and daring, will be performed. It's called The China Celebration at the San Diego Zoo. Come witness kung fu without getting into kung fu fight. Taste authentic Chinese food without waiting for delivery. Meet real Chinese animals born and raised in America. Purchase souvenirs actually made in China. honor monkeys in year of the rabbit, and lots of poo-poo. No platters. Only at the China Celebration. Celebrate the wonders of the Far East at the San Diego Zoo's China Celebration. From jaw-dropping acrobatics to wild animal encounters, it's sure to be a magical evening for all. Open nightly June 25th through September 5th. Visit sandiegozoo.org for details. And the fun doesn't have to stop when you leave the zoo. Stay connected to the animals with games and videos on our new kids' site at sandiegozoo.org.
Explore today. When you run a business, you're the boss. The big kahuna. The big cheese. Actually, you're the big a lot of things. It's your show. It's all about you. At Wells Fargo, we're with you when your business needs financial guidance. We've been helping business customers for over 159 years. Our bankers will work with you to understand your needs and goals. They know that no two businesses are alike, and they'll help you to find the right solutions for your business. We're committed to your success, and we provide financial resources to help you grow. In fact, Wells Fargo is America's number one small business lender and the largest SBA lender. You don't have to do it alone, because at Wells Fargo, we're here for you, and we mean business. To find out how we can help your business, contact the local banker, visit your Wells Fargo store, or call 1-800-35-WELLS. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. 2009 CRA data, 2010 SBA data in dollar volume. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. I'm test driving a BMW 3 Series today so I can see how it stacks up. And so far... What is up with this guy next to me? Oh, yeah. Get the sideways look. There's the old subtle chin tilt. Oh, and there it is. He wants to race me. No, no thank you. And it would be no contest. He must not know that...
3 Series is faster and more powerful than its rivals from Audi and Mercedes. And, don't ask me how, it's more fuel efficient than ever. He's really not getting the message. No, thank you. When you're the ultimate driving machine, great power comes with great responsibility. So, test drive a 3 Series as responsibly as you can at your local BMW center today. For a limited time, lease the BMW 328i sedan for $339 a month. Visit sdcountyvmw.com slash finance for details. This just in, happy people tend to be healthier. It's something we always suspected but never knew for sure, that people with higher rates of happiness reported 50% better health. Is it just me, or do happy people just seem to get all the breaks? How about the rest of us? How do we become happier and take advantage of the health benefits? Kaiser Permanente is here to tell you that it can indeed be done. Studies show that performing an act of kindness can increase your happiness. The more acts of kindness, the better you feel. So next time, let someone ahead of you in line at the store. Pay the toll for the car behind you. It may sound like a bumper sticker, but a random act of kindness is never trite. So increase your happiness quotient and do something nice for someone. Secretly, you'll be doing something nice for yourself.
We're Kaiser Permanente, and we want you to live well, be kind, and thrive. To learn more, visit kp.org slash thrive and click on Mind, Body, Spirit. Welcome to REI. Can I help you? Hi. I'm going camping with my dad, and we need... A Big Agnes King Creek tent. Yeah, and maybe a... GCI Wilderness Recliner? Totally. There's also a lake, so... REI San Juan Water Shorts. Here comes my dad. Quick, what's he getting me for my birthday? We know what you need because we know what you love. REI has the gear you want and the advice you need. To find great hikes and bike rides in your area or get a free kids adventure journal, visit your local REI store or REI.com. REI, find out. Hey, gang, it's your old pal, Woodsy. I wanted to tell you about an awesome place called NutriShop. Went there about a month ago, and they put me on what's called the Contour Elite Stack. along with a custom meal plan. I needed to lose weight. I needed to get back in the gym. This is the stuff that has got me back in there, and I'm losing weight. Go check them out. They're in Mission Valley on Mission Center next to CVS or in Eastlake in the Eastlake Village Marketplace. Again, it's NutriShop. Go in there. Tell them that Woodsy from the Mikey Show sent you. It's NutriShop. Kaiser Permanente suggests rediscovering your family's favorite recipes. It's a way to sit down at a table with your past. Visit kp.org slash thrive and click on Cooking and Eating.
This report is brought to you by Fantastic Sam's. Get high-end salon style without the high-end salon price. Stop by Fantastic Sam's where haircuts are between $15 and $20. Their color services start at $45. Your style awaits. Looks like Escondido on the 78 in both directions between the 15 and the 5 just starting to slow a bit. Also a backup. Also yes. Also. That's the word we're looking for here. The 94 westbound between 30th Street and the 5. It's kind of heavy. Speeds about 15 miles an hour. National City delayed on the 805 northbound between Plaza Boulevard and Sorrento Valley Boulevard. It's kind of slow. Patches are slowing from Plaza to home and then again from Balboa to Governor. This report also brought to you by IHOP. A good meal makes your whole day like IHOP's thick, juicy bacon and beef burgers with hickory smoked bacon blended. right into the beef for delicious bacon flavor in every bite. It sounds so good. It's a great way to make it an IHOP day. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9.
to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Part of the problem with me is I like summertime. I just, I don't like going out and doing stuff. Lauren. I have ketchup packets in my drawer at home. So what? Woods. Mikey, I have a new ritual. What? I have to have a Dr. Pepper and a donut on the way to work every morning. Louisiana. I want to work out. I hate the gym, but I want to go. And Jay. I am a huge fan of meatloaf. On FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Company of Thieves. Garrett. Running from a Gamble. What? is the album. I may have played this song, and then when it ended, started playing it again, and then when it ended, started playing it again, and then when it ended, started playing it again. Default. All weekend long. Really? Just rediscover it? Just rediscovered it. Heard it on the radio, on satellite, and I went home and downloaded it. I like that bit. Okay. We got... Oh, Tracy Morgan. So, Tracy Morgan...
Is on stage in Nashville. And what did he do? This has happened on June 3rd. He made some pretty awful remarks about homosexuality. He said, quote, gay was something kids learn from the media and programming and that gays needed to quit being peas. and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying. He also said if his son was gay, he better come home and talk to him like a man, or he would pull out a knife and stab that little N-word to death. Nothing good is going to come of that. No. Nothing good. I mean, even in the context of humor, nothing good can come from it. Right. Not funny. Yeah. You know, this guy, Kevin Rogers, was a audience member. there in nashville and uh had this to say to cnn and what was his demeanor as he started this part of his act uh did his demeanor change or was it the way it was throughout the whole show um i could tell that it seemed to go from a joking demeanor to this is a point in my show to where i'm very serious about what i'm saying it was very um forthright there wasn't
There didn't seem to be any joking involved at that point. It was just, here's my platform. He donned a business suit, put up a podium. He had a slideshow. Well, it was a PowerPoint. PowerPoint. Presentation. He did it on his PC. He said, now this is a true story. I know comedians use that pretty liberally, but he said, this is no joke. Yeah. He said, listen. I'd just like to take this opportunity to just stop everything and say something very real that I mean. Y'all see this box I'm standing on? It's a soapbox. Yes. And that's what I want to do. Do y'all see how this box says, Dove? I'm standing on an actual soapbox. You see this clock behind me? I've got about 13 minutes left. That's right. And so the next 13 are going to be spent on me hating gays. Yeah. Exclusively. There's more Kevin Rogers. I was absolutely shocked and amazed at what I was hearing. I knew that I was going to see a comedian that, as you said, does push the envelope and was expecting to hear, you know. Black jokes. You know, yes. I know he pushes the envelope.
But I've always known him to push the envelope on things that are funny, like black people or Mexicans, Puerto Ricans. I've never known him to do something distasteful, like make fun of gays. You know, in the past, the whole reason I went is because I thought I was going to hear some pretty funny black jokes that I could then go to work and share with my coworkers or my family at a barbecue or family reunion. What I got was a man up there just making fun of gays. And who does that, you know? First of all, this is Nashville, Tennessee. And black jokes around, these parts are hysterical. They're very funny. And when you make fun of black people and stuff, I like it. It's timeless. It's timeless. Timeless humor. It's never going to get old. Never going to get old. Never going to go out of style. All sorts of different... What'd you say, Kevin? Probably inappropriate humor, but... It's inappropriate. It's such inappropriate humor. My boyfriend, Tad, and I bought tickets on Fandango, and we went... Baby, how many times? What? It's not Fandango. We didn't go to the dang movies, okay? Where did we buy them? I bought them off StubHub on my credit card. StubHub's, I don't know what it is. Why do you interrupt?
Why don't you tell the story right? I'm trying to. You're like an idiot. You know, part of the reason I don't is because I'm worried if my boyfriend's going to interrupt me in every story I tell. I'm going to interrupt you if you get the dang facts wrong. Again, honey. You know what, darling? This is the reason that you and I spent four weeks in counseling that I paid for. But maybe I just tell CNN about why we're here. Fine. Just get it right, though. We're on national TV. Hon. You sound like an idiot, dear. Hon. Leave a fact-checking to the fact-checker. You're such a moron sometimes. Hang on. God, you're embarrassing me. Anyway, like I said, it was very inappropriate. We thought it was going to be a lot of black jokes. Yes, I'll agree with you on that one. My boyfriend, Tad, and I love black humor. Black humor, Mexican humor. Mexican humor, like last time we saw... humor. Arab humor is so funny. It's so funny. I was prepared to laugh at anything offensive so long as it didn't pertain to me personally. Right, exactly. And that's what, you know, anybody would want, anybody would expect. Right. In fact, at one point, after I'd had about four or five Cosmopolitans, I yelled out,
Do them fat jokes. Do them little old fat jokes you do. How about a blind lady? Make fun of a blind lady. Can't you make fun of somebody blind or fat or ugly? Gosh darn baby, we are so... We're like here. We're like locked in right here. We share the same brain sometimes. Sometimes we'll even finish each other's sentences. I didn't expect to hear an attack on the gay community. Didn't you? No. I expected to hear an attack on the black community like we expected, like we paid for. Like we wanted. Through StubHub, like we wanted. We wanted it. You know what we didn't want? Anything to be said. How dare you, Tracy Morgan, for not giving me black jokes, Mexican jokes, Puerto Rican jokes, fat jokes, ugly jokes. Handicap jokes. And Republican. And Republican jokes. Asian jokes. Asian jokes. Fly. Oriental jokes. Oriental jokes. Any kind of jokes. A-Rab. A-Rab jokes. Women jokes. Hell, do some jokes about the TSA. You know, frisking paper. That's funny. That's funny, man. What about Polacks? Oh, Polacks are good. Polacks are good. That's all good. Greeks are good. Any Greek kind of joke. Yeah. But if you make fun of gays.
You are an irreprehensible monster with fangs. It's a reveler. And what was the audience response? Were you able to notice? Were people laughing? Were they booing? What was the response? The ones that weren't gay were. Right. As ashamed as I am for the Nashville audience, there was actually a lot of applause. And I have to say, I'm ashamed of the Nashville audience. Granted, two seconds before then, I was laughing at an N-word joke. Right, right. Because, you know, honey, he's black, so he can say it. Yes, he can say it. Well, not only that, it's funny that he's black and he can say it because then I can laugh at it. Right. And I don't have to feel like I'm a racist. I'm like, he said it. He said it. He's black. It's funny because it's true. He said it. He said it. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Now, again. I am so embarrassed this audience that I live in a Nashville audience that laughed, a lot of them, at gay jokes. Right. Now, I had just watched a YouTube video of Tracy Morgan using the N-word. I darn near laughed until I farted. You did fart. That's the funny thing. You were drunk, but you farted. I did. But that's all right, because it's Nashville.
Well, yeah, that's black comedy. Yeah, and around here, black stuff is funny. It kills, all right? It kills. There were some people that weren't laughing or clapping and me sitting there. And I was proud of them. Yeah, gay pride. I was gay pride of them. And there are some people, like, you know what got me? And this one really rubbed me wrong. No pun intended. There was three black guys in there not laughing when he was telling the black jokes. And I was looking at them like, y'all are a bunch of wet noodles. I thought, is this what happens at a comedy show? Some people laugh, some people don't like certain jokes. It's so weird. But there were also a lot of people that just really, for lack of a better way of putting it, kind of hooted and hollered. Oh, cry me a river. Yeah, I gotta agree. You know, listen, it's always okay until it's about us. Yeah, his stand-up is not funny. You know, it just depends on who you are. Some people are into it. Tracy Morgan did issue an apology, though, on Friday. Of course. Yeah. He had it for 30 Rock. He's a better actor than he is a comedian. Agreed. Fiverr.com. F-I-V-E-R-R.com. So here's what they do. That's not an advertisement for them. They do...
Well, you buy stuff for people to do stuff for five bucks. One guy says, I'll have my puppet record a custom message for you for five dollars. EBW. Yeah. Remy the bear will say whatever you want in a video. That's his puppet. All right. How about this one? I will speak your message in the cartoon voice of your choosing for five bucks. You give a brief message, you know, picking out what voice you want. This guy will do that for you. How about this one? I'll give you a Chinese lesson on Skype for $5. That might be worth it. Might do that. I'll draw you a 4x4 inch tattoo design for $5. That might be terrible. No, he's a good artist. Is he? When I was a kid, I sent the thing away, you know, where they show...
Hey, draw this picture of a parrot or a duck, and if you're good, we'll set you up. This is the worst thing I've ever seen when I drew. I look like I drew it with my foot. And they're like, congratulations. Congratulations, pay us $80,000, and we'll get your career started. Send you an easel. For five bucks, somebody will draw a traditional semi-realistic anime headshot of any character or person of your choice. What? What? She needs something? I don't like cartoons. I like girls. Somebody will write your name in lipstick on a mirror and take a kiss picture for $5. What? Really? It's like the Craigslist of $5 people. Well, wait a minute. I could see a lot of lonely guys going, yeah, I want it. She's a looker, too. Especially if you have an unusual name, you know, like Gernon. Bleach. What if your name's Bleach?
That's what he came up with. What if your name is Schneir? Gernon? Gernon. Blau. Blau. Hello! Blau would be like, look, B-L-A-U, that's me. She kissed the mirror. Gernon. Gernon. Shut it. I'll write anything on my feet for $5. Oh. I'd pay for that. Creep. I want to know what you would have to write. Creep. Creepy pervert. Plenty of them out there. Oh, yeah. Rex Ryan, real good. Yeah, she's probably made $40 million. Off Rex Ryan. A lot of guys like feet. I like feet. I like feet. I like feet, but not the same way Rex does. No. Rex likes feet. I like feet. I think feet are really pretty and a nice pair of shoes. Yeah. And if they're not, ooh. Hey, Woodsy, is there anything better?
than a girl that, well, you may not like this. We probably are going to disagree, but I like, do you like it when a girl has toenails and there's something on there? Like a little thing? Like a jewel? Like a jewel or a design, like a little thing? No. I think it's so feminine. I like a color. I like a bright red or pink. I'm all the way in. It's so feminine when they have something on there. Flower. Yeah. Really? Oh, dude, I think it's sexy as all get up. You don't? No. You're not into that? Not really. More of a boob guy. You just keep looking at me. I don't know what you're saying. We're waiting for you to go, I have one. A flower? I don't have a flower. I like to get my nails done. Can you see? My nails? Easy. I don't have a flower. Your feet. Oh, my gosh. These are bad boys. They're like a shimmery color. I like them. What about you? More of Brian. I got pink. What do you got working over there? Oh, yeah. Nothing wrong with that. Looks good. There's nothing wrong with that. Gosh, Jay. What did he say? It's just the way he said it. It's not even what he said. It's just the way. We're talking about our friend Lauren, and he's over there. Lauren, give me that shoe. Ew, Jay. I'm glad I didn't hear it. He does that where it just creeps you out. I'd like to... Giddy up. That's all that you can ride. Just say it. Lauren. What? She acts so innocent. I know. What? What?
I'm filthy. Didn't you? No. I don't know what you guys are talking about. What were you talking about? Just saying weird things. I brush your hair. Can I see what it looks like when you use tweezers? Can you sit on this wax paper? I just want to hear all sounds. What? It seems strange. Can I videotape you taking chicken out of a yellow star? Will you put this hot sauce in my eyes? Will you kick me in the junk? Will you call me Jennifer? Will you throw acid in my face? Sorry. We're having fun. Jay, how'd you get that pink eye? Old pink eye. Gets them every time. Dear human resources.
I was just joking. I didn't mean it when I said that to her. I don't know. I don't know what came over me. Never before or since have I ever said such a thing to a co-worker. Oh, boy. Let's see. masked men held up a donut shop. What? Mikey. I was out of town. Where are you? They're fat. Oh. Some guys went to rob a donut shop that's happening in Cape Cod and they showed up there and the woman behind the counter had a paper bag that was in her purse. They figured...
There was money in there, but there was donuts in there. Why would they even think that? I don't know. It was in her purse, bag. They thought cash. I don't know. I think it was her lunch. Right. Well, they demanded the paper bag from the woman. She handed it over, and they didn't look at it. They left, and they got away with some donuts. Run outside. They're like, check this out, dude. What do we get? Freaking eclair. There's a lemon filled one. I wonder if they ate it. Of course. They were arrested. They were captured on video and police were able to track him down. Oh, wow. Idiots. All that for some reason. What is a donut store? Like nine bucks in there? It was a Dunkin' Donuts. Good Lord. They robbed with knives and a hatchet. Oh, wow. Yeah. You got $4.50. I got $4.50. Let's go. Superman's losing the red underwears. Mikey. Why Mikey? Because you have maroon man panties. Oh, manties. Like Superman. Manties. No, I threw them out after you guys made fun of it. Much like Superman. Yeah. DC Comics announced over the weekend that Superman's going to be getting a new look in a reboot of Action Comics. He's a T-back now.
The main change is that he is not going to be wearing the red briefs over the blue bodysuit. His belt is changing color from yellow to red, but he is still going to have his iconic cape, boots, and the S logo on his chest. Are nerds just revolting real good? It's a change to something that's been in place since 1938. How come people think they got to change stuff? I don't know. I don't like it. It ain't broke. You know, back when they did Batman, his change was pretty rad. Yeah. Because his first... get up was pretty weak. He looked stupid. Yeah, they made him look cool. They made him look cool. I'm down with that. What's up with this? What's going on with you? Don't know. It's playing. There you go. Oh, it's playing in that tune. Oh. Yeah. Yes. Yeah? Yeah. All right. 570-194-9. What do we got to give away? We have Sunday brunch for two at Vigaluches. Hello. 570-194-9. And you're going to pick me, Woods, L.O.B., or Sienna for name that tune. What's the theme? It's Father's Day. Oh, cool. Pop it in. And turn it on. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949-MIKEY at g.com. This is the Mikey Show. More coming up.
on FM 94.9. Life's better with baseball. Can you believe that? And the 2011 season rolls on with more than 145 live Padre games exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego. And then... Padres win! Join John Weisbarth, Jenny Kavnar, and me, Bob Scanlon, for the Saquon Casino postgame show. And as always, be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter all season long. Channel 4. The Padres are on the road, live from Colorado, 515 Monday. From the scrapbooks to the clubhouse, go behind the headlines and sports pages and get to know the real people who don the Padres' uniform. Join me, Jane Mitchell, on One on One, only on Channel 4 San Diego. There's a rumor that San Diego is home to one of the most brilliant, insightful, and educational culinary TV shows ever created. And then, there's my show. But it's big in taste and small in effort. Sam the Cooking Guy, Sundays at 5.30 and 7 p.m., only on Channel 4 San Diego.
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Rates based on credit worthiness, so your rate may differ. Cue a rooftop pool. Cue the cuties. Cue a DJ. Any DJ, but not a French house music DJ. Cue the unintentional double backflip belly flop. Cue the sympathetic eyes from the pool full of cuties. Cue the other guys lining up to do a double backflip belly flop. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo. Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Hugh Blind Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the trademark owner. Okay, honey, I booked a great hotel on Expedia and we got a $50 prepaid MasterCard gas card. 50 bucks? Woo-hoo! See if the neighbors can beat that. 50 bucks in gas. How you like me, Matt Henderson? Yeah, well, blow your lawn. Uh, you should, hon. Get a $50 prepaid MasterCard gas card when you book with your MasterCard during Expedia's My Summer is Better Than Your Summer Sale. Where you book matters. Expedia. Minimum stay required and subject to availability. Book by July 4th. Travel by August 31st. Terms and restrictions apply. See site for full details. REI has the gear you want and the advice you need for summer adventures. REI. Find out.
This report brought to you by Check Into Cash. Check Into Cash offers title loans with the lowest rate guarantee. Switch to Check Into Cash. Visit CheckIntoCash.com for details. Loans made pursuant to a Department of Corporation's California Finance Lender's Law License. Well, it looks like we've got some backup here on the 15 southbound between El Norte Parkway and 9th Avenue. Also the 5 southbound between Poinsettia Lane, Manchester Avenue starting to drag. And the drive through the 94 westbound 30th Street and the 5th. heavy this morning. This report also brought to you by REMAX. Knowledge is equity. Talk to REMAX agents today to discuss your options. REMAX, outstanding agents, outstanding results. Find an agent at REMAX.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBCT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show. With Mikey. I can back up like nobody's business into spots. What I can't do is parallel park. Lauren. I just don't like the way beef tastes at all. Woods. I don't admit very often when I'm wrong. Sienna. I have the fastest wiener dog on the planet. And Jay. I love that sappy move. On FM 94.9. Politicians be shady. Anthony Wiener and his pictures. Do you think that back in the day...
Thomas Jefferson had somebody sketch something up real gross to him. He sent it by courier. I don't know if he's the best guy to use because he was pretty shady. Thomas Jefferson? Yeah. That's why it is the best guy to use. Maybe it is then. He was shady and he was like, hey, I want somebody to sketch my genitals and I'm going to send it to this wench by courier. Let's ask Jay. You were there. He did it all the time. He fathered a bunch of illegitimate kids. That's right. He's literally the father of our country. That's right. Isn't it a historical fact that he was messing around with some of his slaves? Yes. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, if you're thinking about having kids anytime soon, you may want to know how much they cost. Now, there's three different categories. Low, middle, and high income parents. If you make... Under $57,000 a year, parents can expect a total of $163,000 on your kids. If you're a middle-income parent, you're going to expect $226,000 for your kid. Or if you're a higher-income family, expect to spend close to $400,000. That's wrong. 18 years of your child. That's per kid, by the way. That's wrong. I spent $18.45 on all four. Maddie's 23 now.
I spent $12. The whole lot. $12. Also, scientists have discovered three genes that are linked to migraine headaches, especially in women. It is... Liesel's. Wrangler's. Wrangler's. Lee. Some of my favorite genes. Family genes. Inheritance is believed to play a significant role, and they're three to four times more common in women if you get migraines. Sean, John. Foo-boo. He'll figure. Hello, Kitty. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, the San Diego Padres have come to terms with their number one draft pick, Corey Spangenberg, which was pretty awesome. He was the 10th overall pick in the draft. They got him signed. And they signed 17 others of their draft picks, which is really, really awesome. So these are the Padres of the future. There you go. I look forward to 2020 or so. You got them all signed. Yeah, they're all here and ready to go. And Aaron Harang is going on the disabled list. And a little quick note.
This past weekend was UFC 131 in Vancouver. And the heavyweight match was Junior Dos Santos. And he battered Shane Carwin and won the decision. There it is. And he'll be fighting Cain Velasquez next. All right. We're doing Name That Tune. And up for grabs is what, Jay? The brunch? Yes, it's brunch at Bigaloochies. There you go. All right. So what you do is you call and you pick one of us on the show to represent you. And we'll use our name as a buzzer. The theme today is Father's Day. M1 J. Mack from Miramar. Who do you want? Woodsy. You got it. Hang on a line. M1 AK from Point Loma. Who do you want? L-O-B. Not bad. That's a good guess. Great pick. M1 G. Love from Oceanside. Who do you want? Gianna. You got it. Hang on. It's going this way. M1 O-Sider from O-Side. You've got me. Hang on. All right, let's do this. Name is a buzzer. It's Father's Day. Let's do it. Title or artist? Title or artist? Yes. Title or artist? You got it. Here we go. Thanks for the fall, man. Come on. Mikey. That's Cats in the Cradle. I'll give you that. Cat Stevens. Nope. It's not Cat Stevens. Oh, well, I already said Cats in the Cradle. Harry Chapin. Here we go. What?
What's George Michael? You know that. Put your tiny hand in mine. Yeah. Isolate. All right, here we go. Mikey. Madonna? Yeah, Mike. I barely knew that that was Madonna. I've never heard that, but it sounded like Madonna. Oh, Father? Yeah, you've heard it. Here we go. Father. What's Everclear? That was impressive. It was impressive. Dang it. This one's tough. Lauren. Sienna. Lauren. Wow. What? Wow. Mamacita. Good one. Do you know that song? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Here we go. Woods. Corn. Mikey, two. This is. Woods, three. Lauren, one. Sienna. Zero. Here's your chance. Okay. Woods. Woods. It's Papa Woods, Rolling Stone. You are on fire. Mm-hmm.
Lauren. What's the score? Mikey and Lauren, two. Woods, four. Okay, I've got three left, and each of them are going to be two-pointers. Oh, boy. Here we go. Woods. Here we go. Two remaining. Mikey. Come on, Mike. You got this. Southern guys. Woods. Yes, you're correct. Woods is already one, but let's do one more. Last one. Mikey. Maggie. Surrender. Woods. Eat. M1J Mac from Miramar. Woods, he got you. Brunch at Vigalucci. Peace. Hey, everybody. There you go. Hang in the line, please. Let's see here. I have never seen one episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I don't plan on ever seeing one episode. I've seen every. Of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Sadly, I have too. This, though, is funny to me.
And so because of that, I will play it for you. Who's Chris Humphreys? Kim Kardashian's fiancée. All right, listen. My God. Birds throw up and then feed it to their children. This is nothing. He did that in her face. Kim Kardashian. Did you see it, Sienna? No, that's... No, I don't think that's come out yet. That's in the new season. Your brothers ever do something like that to you when you're a kid? You ever do that stuff to your wife? Yeah, I was going to say, try your boyfriend or your husband. I do it all the time. I do it all the time. Never do it. Brother is one thing. Significant other, whole different story. Yeah, because you have to make out with them and love them and want them physically. I had a boyfriend that would hold me down and do the loogie thing that dropped over my face. And I'm like, no! No, and then he'd slurp it. Yeah, my brother did that. Yeah, I did this to my brother too.
Yeah. Do you ever get a swirly from your brother? Wait a minute. Let's go back to that one. Okay. Because there's nothing more cowardly than allowing it to drop. And they do. Oh, they do. They do. They say they don't mean to. Yeah. Like it was an accident. Oh, sorry, dude. Dude, dude. And you're like, no, don't even try. The worst was when you had chocolate milk or orange juice. The best. And it would just be, I mean. Ew. Spaghetti noodle. That's a rite of passage. It is. You have to do that to your brother. And it will fall. And that is the most cowardly thing that a brother can do to you. Spit in your face. Lugy spit in your face. Is there anything more demeaning than being held down? Is there anything more emasculating? Is there anything more subservient?
than being held down and loogied on. It's the worst. It's completely mortifying. Butter cupping. Nothing wrong with butter cupping. Yes, so much wrong. Pink belly. Yep. Tea twisters. Tea twisters will get you. Tea twisters will get you. Did your brother ever do that, Lauren? Ew, no. Did you ever have a brother that would do it? No. You boys don't get to girls. I thought maybe brothers would do it. No, they don't want to touch our boobs. We did bra snap. The bra snap bit would get you. Yeah, not brothers. Not to your sisters. Brothers did it to brothers, the T-twisters. Yeah. My brother would get me sometimes. And I was convinced that he drew blood with the T-twisters. Ow. Purple purple. Yeah, because he would do it in a way that was so violent. Like, I thought he was a sex offender. The way my brother Steve. Would T twist me. Yep. Would be so... He'd be putting all of his strength into it. I would cry. Like he's turning the key on a deadbolt. Yeah. Like a deadbolt that just will knock. It's a deadbolt that really is stuck back. Oh, it hurts.
T's almost about to break off. Yeah, T's going to break off. He hurts his fingers. Yeah. He's like, ow, ow, ow. Oh, man, I think I broke my thumb on your T. To his credit, you had a lot to work with. Oh, my gosh. Ow. Get it, my T.J. Big T's. Yeah, big old T.J. Big Nipple. Oh, wow. Nipple looks like a pepperoni slice. Big old pancake nipple. Filoni sandwiches. It's like a manhole cover. Yeah, it's like trying to pinch a frisbee. Oh, wow. What else? 570-1949. What are we forgetting? The boxed ears. My brother used to do that. Oh, man, that's mean. Box my ears and pick me up by my ears. No way. Yeah, you guys didn't get that? No! Won't that, like, do serious damage to you? My ears were red. How does that not do serious damage to you? Clearly. It says irreverent, man. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. Irreverent? No. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. Oh, you mean irrelevant. Yes. Whatever you think you know about this man is irreverent. Irreverent or irrelevant?
Whatever you think you know about this man is a reveler. M1 Josh from Coronado. Hey, Mikey, how's it going? Good. Hey, yeah, so one time my dad and my brother, my older brother, were roughhousing, and my dad and I pinned my brother down. We were doing the spit thing to him, and my spit came loose, and he happened to be inhaling from his nose at the time, and it went right up his nose. Oh, wow. That's great. M1 Buzz from Claremont. Yeah. Me and my friend, we were having a contest to see who could give the hardest nipple twister. We actually got into it so hard that he told me to come at him real hard, and I ripped the tip of his nipple off. Oh, my God. That's it. That's it. Oh, my God. Oh, no. What kind of a monster are you? No, my God. What friends are you? Come at me real hard. Did you have to go to a hospital? No, we put a Band-Aid over it. He looked real weird for about a week or two. Did it regenerate?
Yeah, it obviously didn't come back, but... Do you have a chunk missing out of your nip? He's nipple-less. Yeah, well, the areola's still there, but he's got the tip of the nipple. He's getting an eraser. Easy professional nipple. Professor nipple? Did I not say it clearly? Professor nipple. Easy professional nipple. I kind of went away from the mic. Easy professional nipple. He's a professional nipper. Y'all shut up. I said two words and I can't say that. I looked up and everybody was looking at me. I was like, what happened? Professional nipple. We're going to need that isolated, please. Can you imagine how much it would hurt to have your nipple turned on? I can't, dude. I really cannot. Oh my God, I can't. Those little guys.
How about rug burns? Indian burns. Oh, forget it, dude. On the arm. You ever get one of those, Sienna? Yes. You know what my brother would do? He'd lick his hands first. So you got real, so it would just hurt when you did the, it's always Steve. Yeah, take the hair off. Ow. My sister would always wet her hand and she'd get me to do my arm like that and she'd do the knots and the hair on your arm. Oh, God, that hurts too. You can't straighten your arm out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can't straighten it out. Because it'll pull the hair. Swirly. You ever do swirlies? No. What is it? You stick their head in the toilet and flush it. No way. I used to do it all the time to my little brother. He'd make me mad. He'd tell on me for something. So I'd grab him and pull him in the bathroom. Shove his head in the toilet and flush it. Oh, man. That's the meanest one. Yeah, that's pretty bad. That's gross.
Toilet water. My brother did the, if I was laying on the couch, he would put a drink on my head so I couldn't move. I'd be like, get it out! And sit there. Because if you moved, it would fall and hit you in the face. And spill all over you. Can you imagine life at L.O.B.'s house growing up? I cannot. Did your brothers pick on you a lot? Well, I picked on my younger brother because the boys are like bookends. The oldest is my older brother and the youngest is my younger brother. So my older brother and sister beat up on me. And then my little sister had special needs. I wasn't going to beat up on her. I'm not a monster. Nobody did. Yeah. And then so then my little brother came along. I was like, come here. Yeah. I'm going to get you. I told you my brothers, they did the thing where they, I was like five. They did the thing where we had those old plastic mats on the rug. And if you flip them over, they had those little plastic teeth. Little spikes. So hard. Yeah, and they called me in from running. I was running around outside barefoot. Surprise for you in here. Yeah, they were like, come in here, come here, quick, quick, run, run. Cake-sized breakfast in here. Lunch is served. Lunch is served. It's okay. At least one more mozzarella stick. Give me food. We got a submarine sandwich.
That hurts, dude. That hurts bad. Oh, it hurts so bad. Did you cry? Oh, like a baby. M1 Maddie from Oceanside. Hi, how are you? Good. So my aunt told me the story about when she was little, her brother, who's my uncle, sharpened both ends of a pencil, and he made her put it between her two hands. So that both, you know, the sharp pointy points were in the center of both her hands. And then he smacked her hands together. Oh, no. Yeah, she still has lead in the palm of her hand, like, 40 years later. Well, that's not, that's like, that's almost like, well, yeah, so once my uncle stabbed my sister. You know, like, that's not. He's in prison now. Yeah, I mean, that will get you time in jail. That's not a prank, you know, or. You know, like the loogie, that's harmless fun. You know. That's sadistic. Yeah, sadistic. She's just legendary. Yeah. Why would she do it? Why would she do it? I'd be like, no, get out of here. She's pretty little. I was like, okay. Yeah, Mike, one time my Uncle John, he put my other Uncle Steve's head in a vice. Popped his eye out. Just kept turning. Just kept turning the vice until finally his eyeball popped out. Oh, God.
Oh, gosh. Everybody did that, right? I'll tell you another funny one, Mike. I'll tell you another funny prank in my family. I had a cousin. He took his finger. He just jammed it right in my other cousin's eyeball. He popped it right out. He's playing Russian roulette. My cousin blew his head off. Good times. How about that, Mike? That's a good prank. My Uncle Frank, he rented a wood chipper, and then he called my Uncle Tim over, and then I haven't seen my Uncle Tim. I haven't seen my Uncle Tim. That was a good one. I got a good prank for you, Mike. One time my aunt, she had my uncle in. That was one heck of a prank, I'll tell you what. We get together for family reunions. It's one of the best stories that we have. Yeah, we'll put on Gladys Knight music, and we'll just reminisce about the old days. One time I was mad at my mom, I punched her in the face. My mom actually cut my dad. She didn't cut his wiener off. Cut it off. It's like the Bobbit thing. Anyway. We call her Bobbit now, so it's kind of like a funny thing. It's like a funny thing, Bobbit. Since we're on the topic of funny stuff, you know, one time my uncle was trying to get an insurance policy paid up on, so he went skydiving with my aunt. He pushed her out. Oh, my God. No parachute. No parachute, so that was that one.
It's like the slurping thing, right? And one anonymous from San Diego. Hello. Oh, I have a good one. I got in trouble for this one with me and my brother. We get up really early in the morning. We take heavy monofilament, which is like, you know, good thick fishing line. Right. And back in the old days when we had trash cans and all those old metal trash cans, they used to just wheel out in the morning. Well, we used to tie them across the street. Trash can for the first car to come down in the morning. Oh, my God. That's kind of funny and pretty bad, but kind of funny. Pretty bad. Kind of funny. I got a better one than that. The guy who turned us in on the corner. Yeah. He had a whole corner of a beautiful cactus. You know, those really round looking ones. So we spray painted all kinds of faces on the cactus. And we got in trouble for that. So we had to climb in there and paint it all green again. Oh. And to paint the.
Cactus green? Nothing prettier than a cactus painted green. Nothing more natural looking than a cactus that's been painted green. Turquoise. Yeah. We put faces on all that stuff, so we got in trouble for it because he turned this in, so we thought it would get him back and it backfired. Thank you. Maybe get a hose. Did you guys ever watch Faces of Death when you were in high school? This is a big player. Big player when I was in high school. Me too. You know, you had to get your hands on it. One guy would have it. Yeah. And he was the creepy guy. Because his older brother had it. He wore, the guy that had it in my grade literally wore a Black Sabbath hat. Yeah. And I'm not kidding. I'm like, oh, that's a bad kid. Yeah, he was that guy. Uh-huh. He had it, always. Yeah. He also had really, like, he put tinfoil over his windows. Oh, yeah. He was doing meth before anybody was doing meth. Nobody even knew what meth was. He invented meth amphetamine. He's like, you know what? I just bought some primatine mist. Yep. And I have some leftover Claritin. Why don't I throw the two of it together in a bathtub and boil it and try to make something to get high with? Yeah, we'll get high on it. And then I'll invite my friends over for phases of death. Oh, gosh. It's a creeps. We all watched it, though, when we were kids, right? No way. Trying to get our hands on that stuff. I got an email for you. Get your temperature on this one. See what you would do. How far would you go?
Is this guy a monster for how far he went to get out of a trip to Disneyland? That's next. A screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Call 5749. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. I got the world by the tail. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes. Yeah, boy. On FM 94.9. We're a small business. We diagnose trees, treat diseases, and do large tree removals. Shelly Bavaro, owner, Marin County Arborist. and Verizon Wireless Customer. Well, we have Verizon tablets and smartphones because our crews have got to be connected. We use GPS maps, we exchange photos, and we generate estimates on the spot so we're more responsive to our clients. Verizon Technology gives your small business the power to do more on America's largest and most reliable wireless network. Come in today for the best selection of smartphones and tablets like the new Samsung 4G LTE Mobile Hotspot for only $99.99 after a $50 mail-in rebate debit card.
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One McNugget at a time. What was that last one? Price and participation may vary. McDonald's would like you to know that they're open late. They're also open late, late, and way late. In fact, many locations throughout San Diego County are now open 24 hours. So drive through anytime. Participation varies. If I told you my grandma used to give me mother's cookies, I'd be lying. She didn't exactly give them to me. She was far craftier than that, which is why I loved her. She had this whole method. She'd plant some circus animal cookies on her dresser, and then she'd send me on a decoy mission to go get something for my quote-unquote forgetful old grandmother. Then, to distract Mom, she'd create a diversion. To buy me some time, she'd really milk it, too, so I could pop the cookies in my mouth and quietly let the pink frosting dissolve on my tongue. It was all kind of genius, or at least I thought it was, until my mom became a grandma herself. A crafty grandma. That's when I realized that mom was in on it all along. Now, so am I. And my daughter thinks the whole thing is just awesome. Mother's cookies. There's a memory. I am test driving a BMW 3 Series today after driving its top rivals. Well, go to the head of the class. Hey, it's Dave. Two tickets to tonight's game just fell in my lap. That's a yes. Hold on.
Let's make this interesting. First come, first serve. No, no, wait. You better get here fast. Wait, Dave. Good luck. In a 3 Series, I like my odds. Not only is it faster and more powerful than its top rivals, but it's more fuel efficient than ever, so there will be no stopping for gas. This is just too much fun. Yes? Dave, look out the window. Looks like the winner has arrived. Team up with a 3 Series at a BMW center today. For a limited time, lease the BMW 328i sedan for $339 a month. Visit sdcountybmw.com slash finance for details. And now, Walmart's countdown to summer. Low-price tips to get you ready for outdoor fun. This week's project, The Perfect Pool. Walmart's got two words for you, pool party. But before you have folks over for a dip, make sure your pool is crystal clear. Walmart has low prices on all the HTH pool care products you need for balancing, chlorinating, shocking, and preventing algae in your pool. HTH products are...
and outdoor living at Walmart. So they have one more word for you. Cannonball. Thanks to Walmart's low prices every day on everything. Save money. Live better. Walmart. A blown tire. Overheated engine. Empty gas tank. There's mayhem on the road. That's why you need roadside assistance. What you don't need is to pay a fee even if you don't use it. Introducing Good Hands Roadside Assistance from Allstate. You'll never pay a dime unless you use it. And it's open to everyone. not just Allstate customers. Go to allstate.com slash roadside to register and get important information. Prepare for an adventurous career by earning a professional certificate in marine technology from National University Polytechnic Institute. Available specializations include advanced dive medicine and underwater inspection technology. Classroom courses and hands-on training are held at our convenient San Diego campus. National University Polytechnic Institute provides assistance with job placement. Financial aid is available for those who qualify. Learn more at nupolytech.org.
Hi, folks. Shell experts here. Hi, folks. Shell experts here. My colleague is speaking double to share some great news from Shell and Ralph's. When you fuel up at Shell, take your receipt to Ralph's and get double rewards points when using your Ralph's rewards card. And double rewards points means faster earnings. Yep. Let me repeat that for emphasis. No, no, no, no. We got it. Okay. Your Shell fuel receipt earns you double rewards points at Ralph's. Well, all right then. Well, all right then. Fuel earnings are limited to up to 35 gallons per purchase. Offer valid through August 31, 2011 at participating Shell stations. See stores for details or go to www.ralphs.com. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Just one day, if I could be Tom Brady. Lauren. I like it, why not? You like the arm tip? Yeah, it's manly. Woods. I love the brass. Zienna. And Jay. Yeah, I shaved my legs one time. On FM 94.9. You ladies work in a weird place. I know too much about all of you. I know it. Mine. No. Nor mine. I've heard about all of yours. You have? From you, too. That's true, actually. When you're sick, you guys give details. I mean, all that stuff. I wish I didn't know. Yeah. True. My eyes are burning. Oh, boy. Jay is a fearless man, isn't he? Yep. I could not do that. I could not show that. He did. One of the guys from the...
from the radio station was in the stall next to me when Jay showed you what he showed you. And you start screaming. You start screaming. Ah, dude! Oh, put it up! Just a guy trying to wash his hands. Oh, gosh. And you guys left. Oh, and you know what Jay did when he left? He turned the lights off. And there's a person next to me in the stall. This is an almost 48-year-old man. And so Woods turns the light back on. And I have tears pouring out of my eyes. I'm laughing so hard at what has just happened. Gross. Oh, my goodness. Stop going to the bathroom together, you weirdos. Weirdos. Good stuff happens in there. Funny things. CreateYourDesignOnline.com is our friend Jared. And he will do your website. He'll do your business cards.
I'm telling you, guaranteed, you don't want to go anywhere else. Jared is the only way to go for things like that. He is so good to work with and does amazing stuff. So you got to check it out. Okay, so here is the email that I was telling you about. It says, what's up, Mikey? I hope you guys are having an awesome morning. Couldn't be more awesome than mine. My in-laws are in town and we were all supposed to go to Disneyland today. As I write this, I'm sitting on my couch watching Star Wars and my wife, two kids, and my in-laws are all at Disneyland. I might have faked a back injury to get out of it. Oh. What? I'm sure I'm not the only one to ever do this. M1 Wade. Monster. I wouldn't make it up completely, but I would definitely be willing to take an existing condition and exaggerate it. Right now, Sienna is squinting at me and shaking her head. Agreed. And when Wade, your wife knows you're not really hurt. No, she doesn't. She knows. She knows. We know you babies. The in-laws don't necessarily, but she does, and she is furious. She's beyond furious.
Just wait till they leave. It's all she's going to think. She's going to be at one of those. She's going to be at one of those cafes having lunch at Disneyland today. $70 later. And she's going to be going. Wade's probably on Empire Strikes something right now. Returning of the Jedi real good. She's going to be on a boat hearing. Mommy, mommy, mommy. She's going to be changing a diaper. A blowout. Yes. She'd be changing a blowout. I hope she's spending all of his money and buying dessert for everyone, toys at all the shops. Mouse ears. Take advantage of dad not being a part of the family. Mm-hmm. You know? I just needed a day off. Date himself. God forbid. No. Sorry later. You can have those days, but what got her was that he decided to do it on the day that the in-laws were in town. Yeah. Taking the kids.
Doing the Star Wars. I mean, doing the Disneyland thing. Enjoy today, Wade, because tomorrow is going to suck for you. Enjoy it, pal. Drink it in. Yeah. 570-1949. You ever done anything like that to get out of something? Yes. Husband does it all the time. Like what? And I always know. Like what? Oh, I'm not feeling good. Headache boot. I can't get off work early. You always can. If you try, if you ask, you can. What if it was a Dodger game, Todd? Would you be getting off early? He wouldn't be going to work that day. I don't think I'd do it. Woods just gave me a look. I don't. We can ask Rebecca. You all do. I don't think I do. You do it. We all do it. And you're not lying. I'm trying to think of how I do it. You're making, you're exacerbating something that's already happened. It's a pre-existing condition. It's a pre-existing condition. You're like, you know, I have a broken ankle. Gets me out of a lot of stuff. Well, here's the thing, man. Rebecca wants to go to Disneyland. I gotta go. Unless you're back. You don't have to go. You want to go. No, I don't want to. I mean, no, I want to go. Can't wait to go. It's a blast. Can't wait. For a good dad it is.
Oh, sorry. If you love your kids, yeah, it's fun. For lovers of fun, go to Disneyland. And kids. I don't ever turn down a chance to go. I don't pay for my tickets. I weasel the kids in. Well, yeah, I put Jasper in. A baby bond. Well, I make Maddie. What I found is the sewer pipes. Yeah. They're empty. You can crawl right up through it. If you go to Anaheim, there's a certain spot. You crawl right up through it and you end up right in the park. It's great. Been doing it for years. Maddie gets kind of mad because she says, Daddy, I get dirty when I come out the other side. I said, hey, it's free. It's free and I'll just put you on that ride where you get splashed with water and you're fine. Yeah. I built an oversized baby carriage. Yeah. Just put a bonnet on any kid. That's right. It looks like a baby. Hey, man. Last time we got desperate, I put a bonnet on Kim. She's young looking. I said, hey. She looks good. M1 Kevin from the South Bay. How you doing? I'm doing excellent, brother. You already sound guilty. What did you do? What did you do? Yeah, I'm definitely guilty. So I clean windows for a living. I hang off buildings, you know, and I really didn't want to go to work for a couple of days. So I fake bad hemorrhoids. Stay away from the crack.
It gets a lot better. And then when I get back to work, my butt starts hurting. And me and my girl go to the doctor, and sure enough, I'm sprung. I got little roids going. Wait a minute. Karma. So were you faking it, or were you being for real when you said you had the hemorrhoids? No, I was fine. I just didn't want to go to work. But then when I get back to work like a week later... I started to feel pressure and a little itch. Blew out the O-ring. I did the same thing in college. I faked mono, and then I got mono three weeks later. Watch yourself. I lost every relative I ever had in college, and then eventually lost them all. So feast on that. Not all. Every relative? Yeah, grandparents and great-aunts and uncles and stuff like that. Eventually passed away. Yeah, I felt bad. You should bet on your unborn child's life. What's that? How many times did you bet on your unborn child's life? Fair enough. Well, he's still alive. He's not mine. That one's a little deep. A thousand times. I can't see. I feel like I've asked it in my eyes. You guys need to make up. That one was a little deep. It was a little deep. It was pain.
You know exactly what I'm talking about. I got to get my doctor on the phone. He still doesn't believe I have a broken ankle. Yeah, Jay, we're not supposed to talk about it yet. Yeah, I remember. I have a bunch of questions for you, doctor. Go ahead. Get that Oriental on her phone. Oh, boy. When you bet on your unborn child. Exactly. Who does that? You're the one who did it. Too far, Jay. Good God. And all the listeners. Oh, Jay, so funny. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time. You know what I mean? Call 570-1949 or text.
to 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Life's better with baseball. And the 2011 season rolls on with more than 145 live Padre games exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego. And then... Padres win! Join John Weisbarth, Jenny Kavnar, and me, Bob Scanlon, for the Saquon Casino postgame show. And as always, be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter all season long. Channel 4. The Padres are on the road, live from Colorado, 515 Monday. From the scrapbooks to the clubhouse, go behind the headlines and sports pages and get to know the real people who don the Padres uniform. Join me, Jane Mitchell, on One on One, only on Channel 4 San Diego. There's a rumor that San Diego is home to one of the most brilliant, insightful, and educational culinary TV shows ever created. And then, there's my show.
But it's big in taste and small in effort. Sam the Cooking Guy, Sundays at 5.30 and 7 p.m., only on Channel 4 San Diego. At Vons, we love summer, so we're going to help you make the most of it with fantastic prices all summer long. Right now with Vons Club, wild-caught, fresh Copper River sockeye salmon fillets are only $7.99 a pound in the Extreme Value Pack. High in omega-3s and packed with protein, Alaskan salmon from the icy cool waters of the Pacific Northwest is a delicious and nutritious way to make your next meal a little more special. And nothing goes better with fresh salmon on a warm summer night than a delicious glass of wine. So be sure to use Vons Club, because when you do, you can save 30% off all reds, whites, champagnes, and sparkling wines. Plus, you can save an additional 10% when you buy six or more 750-milliliter or larger bottles. With everyday low prices and our great Vons Club specials on all your favorite items, Vons is going to help you make every summer day a celebration. Vons, ingredients for life. Mother's cookies will always remind me of Grandpa's house. Or better yet, leaving Grandpa's house. When I was little, we had family reunions at his place in Santa Maria. And at night, we'd sit around the living room and my aunts and uncles would retell outrageous old stories.
Usually at the same time. That's when Grandpa would give me the signal, and we'd slip out for a drive to get Mother's cookies. We both loved the circus animals for the pink frosting and the way the round sprinkles crunch on your teeth. On the way back, Grandpa would take the long way home, and we'd eat cookies and listen to nothing but big band jazz and the sound of the ocean. I know it's simple, but Grandpa and I both liked simple. And now, at every family reunion, That's the story I like to tell. Over and over again. Mother's Cookies. There's a memory in every bite.
ProPhil Institute for Clinical Research hopes to make a difference in the lives of future generations of diabetics by taking part in research on possible future diabetes medications. Currently, ProPhil Institute is conducting a clinical research study evaluating an investigational oral medication in people with type 1 diabetes. If you've been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and are between the ages of 18 to 50 years old, consider participating in this clinical research study. This study is not intended to treat your condition. You may be compensated up to $3,482. For more information, contact Profil Institute at 1-866-245-0373 or check out Profil's website at profilinstitute.com. Once again, call 1-866-245-0373 for more information on participating in a clinical research study with Profil Institute. That number is 1-866-245-0373 or email Profil at volunteer at Profil. Institute.com. Life is short. Summer is shorter. Make the most of it in Las Vegas with Neon Trees at the Red Rock Sandbar, Widespread Panic at DeJoint at Hard Rock, and Chris Isaac at Mandalay Bay. Hey, 80s fans, get to Nina Blackwood's Absolutely 80s Summer Concert Series at the Fremont Street Experience. See Loverboy, Men at Work, and more of your favorites. Seize the summer. Go to visitlasvegas.com today to plan your trip.
Paid for by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. The San Diego County Fair ignites with firefighting action in the Chevy Del Mar Arena Saturday, June 18th at the Farmers Insurance Fire Expo. June 24th through 26th, it's the San Diego International Beer Festival. Visit sdfair.com for details. More smiles to the mile at the San Diego County Fair. Presented by Albertson Savon. Cue a grill. Cue the over-enthusiastic chef with the lighter fluid. Cue the stakes, breasts, thighs. Cue the amigos bearing generous libations. Cue the fumbled bottle of Jose Cuervo. Cue the crowd's gasp. Cue the slow-motion dive. Cue the catch. Cue the drink that brings it all together. Cue the Cuervo.
Jose Cuervo. Drink responsibly. Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported and bottled by Hugh Blind, Norwalk, Connecticut. Under license from the trademark owner. Okay, honey, I booked a great hotel on Expedia and we got a $50 prepaid MasterCard gas card. 50 bucks! Woo-hoo! See if the neighbors can beat that! Fixing gas! How you like me now, Henderson? Yeah, well... Bow your lawn. Oh, you should, hon. Get a $50 prepaid MasterCard gas card when you book with your MasterCard during Expedia's My Summer is Better Than Your Summer Sale. Where you book matters. Expedia. Minimum stay required and subject to availability. Book by July 4th. Travel by August 31st. Terms and restrictions apply. See site for full details. The following is a test of the emergency alert system. This is only a test. Back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. If being nude at your home is a nudist. I'm a nudist. Lauren. I did a lot of reading last night. Weird. Woods. I am the grill master. I can grill anything. Sienna. I'm not the neatest person in my house. Todd's definitely more neat than I am, but I wouldn't say I'm a slob. And Jay. I'll come over and help you cut a trench of concrete. On FM 94.9. Jack White's throwing a divorce party. Do I have that? Yep. Are you on the guest list, Mike? Seems like something you...
You'd be all the way in on it. I am not. On the VIP list. I am not on the VIP list for that. I don't know what I did with it. I gave it to you. I know. I don't know where it is. Where? Invitation. Yeah, he's sending out invitations. Karen Elson and Jack White kindly request the presence of Jackson A. Rag at a party to celebrate their sixth anniversary and their upcoming divorce. With a positive swing, bang, hum, dinger. Taking place at, and its dress is blurred out, Nashville, Tennessee, Friday, June 10th, 8 p.m. The party will include dancing photos, memories, and drinks with alcohol in them. Libations, if you will. This is only for close personal friends and family, so please, no plus ones or deadbeats.
Please help us celebrate together this anniversary of the making and breaking of the sacred union of marriage with our best friends and animals. It's disgusting. Jack White, you should be ashamed of yourself. It's disgusting. You're disgusting. Hey, Jack, it's disgusting. Hello, this is your Uncle Victor for Jack White is disgusting. What's the matter with you? We don't celebrate the divorce, you freak. Divorce. Don't make a big deal about you getting a divorce and make it seem like it's funny. It's not funny you got a divorce. Why don't you stay with it? Work it out. Stupid idiot. It's a PR move, I think. It's a PR move. He wouldn't be doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it for real. Isn't it refreshing, though? A little bit refreshing. It's disgusting. It's repugnant.
Don't you think divorce is something that should be celebrated equally as marriage, Mike? Yeah, exactly. It stinks like a sewer. It's as monumental, you know? At least they're not fighting. Yeah, talk about man's freedom. He's a rotten grave. Ooh. That's disgusting to me. An invitation to a party about your divorce. You don't make it seem cool to people, you flippant glib. Easy way out, you know? Guy probably found somebody else he likes. They don't have any kids, do they? No. She's out, you know. He's out. Freedom of choice, really. Yeah. Probably meant to be. When you get married, you know that there's always divorce. Yeah, right. I mean, that's the deal in this country. You're just about to go through the roof. Culture is a big pile of poo. It's a toilet. It's a toilet, our culture. It's a toilet.
Oh, my gosh. I remember being a kid and thinking people sounded old because they didn't like the freaking Madonna videos. Yeah. And now you have Doogie Howser, MD, singing last night at the 65th annual Tony Awards about how about sodomy. I'm not kidding. Like, I know that there's people that are listening right now and they're like, oh, Mike, like last week. When I used the word whore, I didn't use that word flippantly. Like, that's a real word, man. For real. Listen to Neil Patrick Harris last night. This is our culture. Shut up.
I don't know. That's our culture now. It's like, oh, it's 8 o'clock at night. It's 8 o'clock at night. Now my kid, he doesn't get the joke. Dad, what's sodomy? Well, son, sodomy is by definition what that guy does. By definition. Well, I don't understand, Dad. I don't want to explain it to you. You're six. You're six. I don't want to explain to you what sodomy is. Well, you don't want to explain what regular sex is either. No, you don't. That's why I don't need them saying, and let's talk about the heterosex. I don't need that either. At the Oscars. I don't need any of it. At the freaking Oscars and the Tonys. Like, how about it's the Oscars and the Tonys? Yeah, you give out the award and...
Liza Minnelli, you win. Thank you, darling. You're welcome. Is there a martini in this award? Yeah, it used to be that she was just drunk on stage. Now... Can't even show up drunk on stage without being a bisexual. Can you imagine if our founding fathers got the DeLorean up to 88 miles an hour and were plopped down in the middle of that Tony Award last night? Holy cow. It's not just about sodomy anymore. George Washington's like. Oh, well. There goes Mikey preaching again. Go ahead. Have your sermon. There's Pastor Mikey going off again. I believe it's Reverend Mikey. Yeah. Is it really? It's not. Maybe it's just a guy that's a dad that goes, you know what? Shut up.
I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. Our culture is turning into a freaking toilet with the Gaga and her freaking T-bone hat. Her meat vest. Her freaking meat underwears. Ew. Seriously. She won Best Dressed. Did she? Mm-hmm. And what? In the awards, the big women's magazine voted her Best Dressed of 2000. Yeah, I think it was Vogue magazine, yes. Vogue. It's a good one. I'm going to cut you. You guys read Vogue? Ellie. Vogue. Hillary, did you subscribe to Vogue? Don't get Hillary in the middle of this. What about Yous Weekly? Yous Weekly. Phenomenal. Piapoli? This is great. Piapoli. Sienna, who are the top paid celebrities under 30? Well, speaking of Lady Gaga. Number one, she grossed $170 million last year. Justin Bieber, 17 years old, the youngest person on the list, made $53 million. How about Rihanna? She brought in $29 million. LeBron James, $48 million. Roger Federer, the tennis player, $47 million. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, $20 million each. That's the Dracula. Blah, blah. Yep. These kids are just...
He played Count Dracula in the Twilight movie. Edward Cullen. In the Dracula movie. Oh, yeah. Those are some of the highest paid stars under 30. There you go. I want to know who the highest paid stars over 30 are. Hey, a few years ago, this lady got mauled by a chimpanzee, then had her face reconstructed. She's back in the news. Because she's had something else happen. She had the third... Face transplant, basically, ever. And she has new lips, nose, eyes, which were all mauled by the chimp back in 2009. Full face trant. Face trant? Face trant, babe. Face trant. Doctor said that her hands had to be removed. And there was some complications from pneumonia. It was a gnarly surgery. Chimpanzees can be really crazy. Oh, my God. Yeah. They can be really violent. Yeah. Sounds like it. They're very strong. I was watching something that said they're like, they have 10 times the strength of an average man. That's right. They ain't the only ones. Guess I'm a chimp. I'll take a chimp. Any damn day. If there's a chimp listening right now, I want some of it. 1615 Murray Canyon. B word. Get on down here, chimpy. Chimpy. Chimp. Chimp.
I'll show you who's boss. They should call you a chumpansy. I'm the champansy. Hilary, how are you doing? Great. Did you have a good weekend? I did. I had a great weekend. How do you like this gym glow? I know. It is drizzling outside. It's not only gloomy, it's drizzly. Rad. Nap time. Have you ever taken the train, Hilary? No. Like train along the coast? No, I want to. We talk about doing it. Take an Amtrak soon. Yeah, yeah, we will. I just got a few texts handed to me. This one says, Mikey, I want to be more like Jay. Jay, stop it. I just need to learn to surf, skate, climb, mountain bike, ride, build things, and generally be awesome all the time. That's J1.
Oh, boy. I can teach you in five minutes. This one says, Mikey, I keep hearing the Dos Equis commercials for the most interesting man in the world, and all I can think about is what those lines would be like if they came from Jay. They are mine. I feed it to them. I'm the writer. I'm the head writer. The most interesting man in San Diego. Someone nuts. In the universe, actually. M1 Iceberg Slim. This is another text Jay got for me. M1 Iceberg Slim said, Jay for president. Thank you. That's great. What do you got coming up? President of what? I grabbed the new Foo Fighters record because we've been playing another new song from it called Walk. And I'm going to play that. And Lickly and Oasis. And a band that played our anniversary bash this past November. And like... blew everybody away. They have a brand new record out. It is so good and getting great reviews across the board. So I'm going to play something about that in a minute too. Sweet. Lovely and talented Hillary's up next. We'll see you tomorrow morning at 6. Mikey's show is out. Yep.