The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 06/14/10
Monday, June 14, 2010
Monday June 14, 2010
Jay gets served with some old age jokes; one of them evokes the Donner party. RIP Jimmy Dean, whose sausage Woodsy was raised on. Hilarious classic audio of angry Texan calling the Jimmy Dean complaint department is next. Another earthquake prompts talk of preparedness for The Big One. Of course Jay is prepared; he even has a contraption that makes pool water fresh to drink. Mikey has Lauren retell her bacteria laden mountain fresh water guzzle-fest story. The Kid points out how Carrie Underwood stole a riff from Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians. Do you believe in soccer miracles? YES! The Iceman is going to be put on ice, says Dana White. Woodsy and team lost their ballgame, then he road raged in a parking garage, backed into a Civic, and topped off his day with a traffic ticket! Since no one got hurt, it’s ok to laugh at the funny story of Woods, Mikey, Lauren, and Bark Maumann in a heart-pounding near fatal accident. Mikey “interviews” a surly Adam Sandler. LOB ate chili ate the fireman’s cook off. Did she get any buff fireman’s numbers or maybe kiss one? Time for more Mikey Show haikus. Hoyle highly doubts Mikey has never been arrested, and then tells of his own brush with the law. NTT(Name That Tune) game sees a return of the champ. Sarah Palin reacts to Boobgate” and LOB does an even better impression of Palin than Tina Fey. Eskimo Bluewaters big-times the crew with her name dropping and puppet Peanut hates hippies! Tape cassettes malfunction on poor EBW, but eventually the EBW & Peanut duet is played with funny results. Email about a dude dating the easy girl from high school gets Obese Mikey to “weigh” in. Woods wants to meet Nikki the virgin. A horny high school student wants to marry his teacher. Hot girl names and a search engine is how Mikey met Rebecca. P Diddy throws down serious coin for his kid’s first car leads to talk about what’s an appropriate gift for a spoiled brat. Politicians just can’t apologize; instead they turn to the “fish fry bit”. Even “plump Goth girls” love Jimmy Dean’s sausage!
Bumper Music
| 1. Undo It by Carrie Underwood |  |
| 2. Happy by Sister Hazel | |
| 3. These Are The Days by Van Morrison | |
| 4. Tiny Dancer by Elton John | |
| 5. Perfectly Lonely by John Mayer | |
| 6. Day ‘N’ Nite by Kid Cudi | |
| 7. On The Road Again by Willie Nelson | |
| 8. Can’t Be Tamed by Miley Cyrus | |
| 9. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head by B.J. Thomas | |
| 10. Absolute by The Fray | |
| 11. If You Leave Me Now by Chicago | |
| 12. Hook by Blues Traveler | |
| 13. You’re Not Sorry by Taylor Swift | |
| 14 .Baby-Baby-Baby by TLC | |
| 15. I Never Told You by Colbie Caillat | |
| 16. Cecilia by Simon & Garfunkel | |
Jimmy Deanearthquake preparednessbackcountry water safetyBP oil spill compensationpop music tastesausageearthquakepreparednessgeneratorwater filterdysenterybig sur
The show paid tribute to Jimmy Dean's country-music beginnings, then lingered over a legendary caller who treated the shrinking of a sausage roll from 16 ounces to 12 as a family crisis. Mikey, Woodsy, Lauren, Sienna and Jay discussed two Borrego Springs earthquakes and discovered that Jay was unusually prepared with generators and a water filter, while Lauren supplied the cautionary tale of getting dysentery after drinking from a Big Sur waterfall. They debated whether Barack Obama's proposed BP compensation fund would reach everyone harmed by the Gulf oil spill and whether the president could meaningfully hold the company accountable. Mikey also defended the immediate pleasure of a catchy Carrie Underwood song while the crew teased out its resemblance to Edie Brickell and argued about whether music needs a deeper function.
What happened, in order
Jimmy Dean's Other Career
The hosts marked Jimmy Dean's death by recalling that the sausage entrepreneur first became famous as a country singer with the 1961 hit “Big Bad John.”
The 12-Ounce Sausage Revolt
The crew played and dissected a furious customer's complaint that Jimmy Dean had shrunk its sausage roll from 16 ounces to 12, laughing at his refusal to buy two packages despite feeding a huge family breakfast.
The Earthquakes Nobody Felt
Mikey and the crew compared notes on two Borrego Springs earthquakes—magnitude 4.9 and 4.5—that people across San Diego reported feeling even though several hosts noticed nothing.
Jay Is Ready for the Big One
A conversation about earthquake readiness revealed that Jay owns two generators and a hiking filter capable of turning pool or ditch water into drinking water, making him everyone's emergency contact.
Lauren Drinks the Waterfall
Lauren remembered guzzling seemingly pristine waterfall water in Big Sur and then getting dysentery, proving Jay's point that untreated backcountry water can carry bacteria.
Making BP Pay
The hosts discussed Barack Obama's plan to force BP to establish a Gulf Coast compensation fund and argued over who should qualify, whether the money would be enough, and how the president should confront BP's chief exec
Carrie Underwood as Bubble Gum
Mikey admitted Carrie Underwood's song quickly hooked him even though it sounded familiar, prompting a debate about whether music needs only to be catchy and useful or to confer taste and intellectual status.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsyLaurenSiennaJayJimmy DeanBarack ObamaCarrie UnderwoodKara DioGuardiEdie Brickell
5,302 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
KBZT San Diego, the Lincoln Financial Media Station, the new home of The Mikey Show. This is FM 94.9. Mikey Show, everybody. It's Monday morning, and we're ready to rock and roll. Ready to rock and roll, everybody. Everybody's all smiles this morning. That's right, man. That's right. I feel all rested. Woodsy had a very eventful weekend. He always does. I know. I'm exhausted by your stories. I know. We always say, we're like, only Woods. Like once an hour, we'd probably say that. Yeah. And Woods will even say himself, he'll be like, if it's going to happen to anybody, who's it going to happen to? You know that. The kid. It's going to happen to the kid. Start locking myself in my house. 570-1949 is our number. You can call us, talk about whatever you want. Or you can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com.
Forgot my wallet on the way in. Nice. It's a worse feeling. I know it. And it just, it always irritates me because I go, is this the first time you've used a wallet? Yeah. Like, how do you forget it? Did you have to go back and get it? Yeah. And I was so like, come on, Mike. There's something more embarrassing than like driving back up to your house. I know. Really? They're like, oh. Scare the crap out of your wife. Just get my wallet. And it's the most irritating drive back. Yeah, it is. Because you're just beating yourself up. Why? I forget my phone all the time. I know. It's the worst. 570-1949. Let me clear my throat. I have an appointment later in July to get my intestines looked at. Oh, boy. It's the reason why I have these throat issues. Really? Yeah. Why? Well, I'm taking Prevacid. Prevacid? Yeah, I'm taking Prevacid. Mm-hmm. Because I've had this issue for years, this sort of reflux deal where my throat gets real sore and scratchy early in the morning. That happens to me. It does? Every day I'm clearing my throat. It's scratchy and I wish I could articulate a little bit better what it is, but it's a problem. It's not just a normal, oh, I have to clear my throat. It's not that. There's something going on. And then I've got these.
phantom pains that come every once in a while too. So I'm going to figure out what's going on with that. There's five people on the show. Myself, I'm the host of the show. I'm Mikey. I'm 40. I have three kids. Beautiful little blondie wife. And I'm from Gilroy, California. That's my hometown. Woodsy is 35 years old. 34. I'll be 35 next month. You call yourself 35 half the time. I was trying to go with it. He's 34 and three quarters. And where were you born, Woods? I was born in Dallas, Texas. Were you? So he's born there and raised there. He's lived kind of all over the country, though. He's a nomad. He is. Lauren is from New Jersey. Where were you born, Lauren? I was born in Memphis. Memphis? Mm-hmm. Memphis, Tennessee. How long were you guys there? I think I was 18 months old when my parents moved back to New Jersey. What part of New Jersey? South Jersey. Closer to Philadelphia. Philly. And Lauren is 29 years of age. True. Sienna is 25, soon to be mom, married to a guy named Todd. And Todd used to play in minor league baseball. Sure did.
I was born at Scripps Hospital, too, right here. How about that? In LJ. How about it? And then Jay is 46. Last week being 46. Oh, wow. Next week. Big birthday on Sunday. I know it. Old Man River. He's 46 years old. And I can't believe he's going to be 47 here. He was born in a covered wagon. Somewhere in the Oregon Trail. Sounds about accurate. I heard he was the first guy to eat at the Donner party. Gotta eat. That's right. Guy was hungry. What are you going to do? All right, if nobody else is going to. I'll feast. I'll dig in. He would be, too. 570-1949-949-mikey at gmail.com. So sad. Jimmy Dean, the guy that created the most... delicious breakfast sausage in the world. Delicious for sure. So good. Passed away. Oh, it's so sad. Did you know that he sang country music too? Yeah, he did. I had no idea. Did you know that, Mike? No. He's best known for his song, Big Bad John, and it was number one in country and pop charts in 1961. Unbelievable. He was huge on Hee Haw. Was he really? Big Bad John. Big Bad John.
What was he famous for first, being a singer or making sausage? Singer, I think. But most famous for Sausage King. But it started as a singing career, and he was like, hey, listen, I love sausage. I just can't find one that suits my taste. Write that down. Yeah. And so he... decided that he would open up his own little sausage factory. Yeah, he's the man. How about that guy? I grew up on Jimmy Dean's sausage. You have no idea. So good. Okay, so Jimmy Dean, I know, came in the tube, okay? Now, here's my question about Jimmy Dean. Was it pre-sliced for you, or did you slice off your own chunks? You sliced it off real good. So we got, like, the frozen links, too. Oh, yeah, you can do frozen links, but we used to slice it up real good. You get your own... Thickness. They have the flavored kinds that come in little tubes. Sage is so good. I used to eat it right out of the tube. Maple. That's not true, is it? No, it isn't true. That would be really sickening. That would be nasty. I believed it. I don't even know what tube you're talking about. The sausage tube. It's like a cookie dough thing of cookie dough, and you squeeze it out. That's like Nestle Toll House, only it's pork. Yeah. They're delicious. Hey, listen. One of the most famous...
calls ever was a complaint call that came in to Jimmy Dean's sausage when Jimmy Dean decided that he was going to take that tube of sausage from 16 ounces to 12 ounces. Uh-oh. How dare he, right? I've heard a lot about this. I cannot wait to hear it. This is the greatest call of all time. I can't wait to hear it. This particular customer was not happy about the change. I don't know where you people come from. I don't know if you test your products, your quantity of your product. Your products are very delicious. Love your sausage for 30-something years, but I can't take and feed a family of five on a little 12-ounce roll of sausage. Let me interrupt just a moment. Because immediately I have so many questions. And one of my questions is, A, what time of day did said call take place? Was it breakfast time? Because that's when he's the most upset about it. It's like, this is when I have to try to feed.
a family of five on this piddly 12-ounce Jimmy Dean. I doubt it took place at 9 o'clock at night. That's my guess. But then the other thing is, what level of passion must you have? Because this was before the days of the Internet. And so it wasn't like you just went online and Googled Jimmy Dean customer service. At the time, what you had to do is some legitimate investigation. You had to read the package probably. Track it down. Track it down. Probably find out what city it was in, where it was manufactured, call information for that city, and then call the place, get a customer service thing, and leave a message. I need the Jimmy Dean hotline complaint department. Well, sir, we have a main number. I don't want the damn main number. I want... The damn customer service. Right? I don't mind paying you more money for your 16-ounce roll of sausage, but you don't have it anymore. You've got a 12-ounce roll, and you've got three men that weigh over 200 pounds apiece, a woman that's a dozen eggs, and feed that. It ain't going to work. He only named four people there, by the way. He said he was a family of five. No, he said three overweight men.
The plump woman and the 13-year-old. The plump woman is his wife, by the way. Excuse me? Excuse me? Yeah, plump Scottish woman. Well, you know, I mean. Plump Scottish woman. Plump. Yeah. Now, already I think I see a fallacy here. He says that he doesn't mind paying extra for the 16. If you have to do something about it, fine. Charge me more. But don't give me 12 ounces. He's pissed about that four ounces. And I'm thinking to myself, well, if that's the truth, why not buy two? You don't mind paying, right? Seriously. You don't mind paying. Throw some in the fridge because that would be too much. That would be too much. And I'm not going to purchase your product anymore or ever again. That's a lie, by the way. Yes, you are too. You can't just go cut cold turkey. That guy's been mainlining sausage for 30 years, dude. He's not going to stop now. He's not going to stop. He loves it. You ain't switching to Oscar Mayer, and you know it. He needs it. This is all just a ruse. I love it. And as far as your 16-ounce and maple and sage, I don't eat that. I'm not from the North. I'm a Texas man. Damn Yankees. It's for Southern people to eat with the breakfast with the fried eggs and the T-bone steaks. Wow. And I can't see going to a little 12-ounce package to feed four, five, six people.
and I'm not going to buy two of those 12-ounce packages. There you go. It's because you want to downsize and charge the same price. I'd sure like a reply, and I'd sure like you to go back to your 16-ounce package on your regular sausage, because I'm not going to buy it. Otherwise, ever again, I'll just have my own damn sausage made like I used to 30-something years ago. It's not as tasty as yours is, but it'll work. Holy... I love him so much. That guy is great. Oh, yeah, he is. He loves sausage. Well, she was still alive. I wonder if they ever went back to. I know it. The 16-ounce package. I'll run down to Ralph's and check it out. I'll be back. Yeah, you can make some while you're at it. And I want to know, too, whether or not they got back to him. Yeah. What's restitution, man? You have to. I guarantee you. After it goes global like that. Sure. You got to call him back. And what do you do? Do you give him a life? You don't give him a lifetime. Give him a little taste. Give him a taste. Yeah. Send you a coupon. I'll send you a free taste. Free Jimmy Dean. Oh, man. I'll tell you what, though. He references in that call. If he has to, he'll go back to just making it himself. He used to do that. But the fact is, it isn't as tasty as Jimmy Dean pork sausage, which just makes me imagine what those little eyes must have done.
The day that he first laid his lips on a Jimmy Dean pork set. The first time he cut into Jimmy Dean after doing his own for so many years. The first time he went, holy tarnation. That is good. What about the first time he's at the grocery store getting ready to pick up his 16-ounce sausage and he looks down. He sees a twiff. Spun out. He's like, what? What the? He threw a scene in the market. What the holy tarnation does this say? I love it. His overall is almost snapped off. That's right. My favorite is he doesn't like the maple or the sage. Yeah. Because that's for people from the north. Right. I love those ones. I'm from Texas. Yeah, a bunch of wussies. Yeah, I don't eat that crap. I don't eat sage. I eat my T-bone steak from Texas with the regular. Did you hear that? Okay, so this is your breakfast. A couple of dozen, that's 24, eggs, a T-bone steak, and a 16-ounce package of Jimmy Dean sausage. It's for the whole family. Wow. It does taste good, though, in your mouth when you eat it. It tastes real good. 12 ounces. Yeah.
Get out of here. His poor wife, when he came home, probably heard about that for months. Months. All he talked about. She's like, really? Again, with the frigging sausage? Still with the sausage? You know I wanted 16. Yeah, I know you did. Darling, just buy two. Come on, darling. It's just a 12. It's a principle of it. It's a principle. I ain't doing it. You guys can't do a Southern accent. Really? Like your boy can. All right. Since we're not from Texas. Weird. Now, there it is, man. That's greatness, man. I heard about that before. I wonder if Jimmy Dean was still eating that stuff at that age. Zero percent. Yeah. No way. No? You think he's tired of it? I bet he vomited the smell of sausage. 30 years in the business. I don't know. When you're making that much money, I don't think I'd vomit. Be like, yes, can't get enough of it. That is funny. Gosh. I remember being a kid. I don't even remember whose home we went to. And I remember watching a guy. scramble for himself a dozen eggs. That's insane. I remember as a child thinking to myself, that can't be right. I can do four. Yeah? Yeah. That's about it. Depending on how big, you know? That's about it. Do you even like scrambled eggs, L-O-B? Eh, sometimes. How many will you eat? Two. Are you full or could you go another one? I could probably go another one. Really? Mm-hmm. Look at that. No sausage, though, for you.
Not really. It can't just eat eggs by itself. Like you have to have something else with it. Yeah. Delicious. Yeah. Biscuits. Some toast. You know, there was an earthquake over the weekend. Had I not read about it on people's status on Facebook, I wouldn't even have known that there was an earthquake here in San Diego. I didn't feel it either. And when I heard how big it was, I was like, that's a baby, man. It's like a 4.5. So many earthquakes. And this one wasn't, or these two, there was two ones, and they weren't aftershocks from the big one months ago either. It wasn't? No, these ones were about 20 seconds apart, and they centered near Borrego Springs on Saturday night around 8 o'clock p.m. The first one was a 4.9, and the second one was a 4.5. And people in Julian, El Cajon, Escondido, Pacific Beach, Del Mar, and Mission Valley all claimed to have felt it. Even at Petco Park, the announcers in the boxes were saying they felt it. Really? I was there. There was a game going on. You didn't feel it once, right? I was there, didn't feel it, and then we were in Del Mar after that. Del Mar? Yeah, Del Mar. For dinner. Didn't feel it.
Made me get into a conversation with my wife, though, about the biggin'. Oh, boy. Yeah. Stop. And I said, are we prepared? You know, do we have water and do we have all that stuff? I'll tell you what I wish we had was some sort of generator that kicked in if power went out. Yeah. Because that's a bummer, man, when you don't have power and all your food's spoiling and all that. Probably a good idea to just have a generator. Yeah, with kids and stuff, definitely. I'll just come to your house. Yeah. Yeah. Probably will. That's a good idea. Yeah. Get a Honda. A Honda? Yeah, I've got two. A little Honda generator? Weird that you have two. I know. I'm ready. I'm not that ready, but I've got a pool full of water, so I'm set there. Whoa. Whoa. You drink that? I have a pump that will take out all the chlorine and all the bacteria and everything. Yeah. Of course you do. Did you make that pump? What's that? No, it's a hiking pump, so you use it anywhere you go. Gosh. A hiking pump will convert... Yeah, basically. Nasty water to good water? Oh, I've pumped water from ditches that you would not believe. And you've drank it. Write that down. Oh, 100%. 100%. It takes everything out. It's the bomb. So the pump is a filter? It's a little handheld pump, and it's got a filter built into it. And you go up to a stream or wherever when you're hiking, you can't carry all the water you need. So you just go up and you just... You know what a pump sounds like. Wow. Yeah.
And it takes out the bacteria so you don't die and get the... I feel lucky every day because I know Jay. You're not, right? Jay's you're just in case. First call I make, if anything happens. What if the roads are all jacked up? You can't get to Jay's house. Jay will fashion a helicopter, fly to us. Hot air balloon. I'll get one of Mikey's burrows and ride it over. That's right. That's the truth. I'll be screwed. Every time we talk about that water thing, I always think of L.O.B. And her story about where did you go with the waterfall? Big Sur. She was in Big Sur in this beautiful area. Gorgeous waterfall. Here she is underneath the waterfall just letting it pour down over her. I have a picture. I should bring the picture into you. You can almost visualize it in slow motion. Her standing there shaking her head. Water. Cascading down her face. Opening her mouth. Mountain fresh water. I would have done the same thing though. And then what happened?
Dysentery. Yes. It had bacteria in it. Oh, my gosh. I was feasting, too. I'm like, this is seriously the best water I've ever had. I can see it. I can see it. How long after until you got sick? Days. Really? Yeah. So it took a while. Well, it happened the next day and then it lasted for a day. Guzzling down waterfall water. Mountain water. It's so delicious. I love it. It tastes so good when it hits my lips and my mouth and my belly. It's delicious. Meanwhile, there's a hiker up at the top just filing paper in the stream. Gross. I hope there's no duty bacteria in here. I guess we'll find out, though, won't we? Oh. So gross. So gross. And stupid. I was out here visiting from the East Coast at the time. It was a little wrapped up in the California love. You didn't know. Just trying to get a fresh drink of water. Yep.
How about the BP compensation fund that Obama's going to be talking about tomorrow night? Yes, tomorrow night, Obama's going to be making an address from the Oval Office, and he's going to be talking about the challenges associated with the oil spill, of course, ranging from the cleanup to the damage claims. He's also going to talk about the need for Congress to pass stalled comprehensive energy legislation. Oh, that sounded adult. Doesn't it? I know, it totally does. And then the next day, he's going to be meeting with BP, basically, to demand that they set up a compensation fund for the Gulf Coast. I wonder what that will include and who will it include. Got to be the top brass, man. I know, but will it include just people that are in the fishing industry? Will it include who? What it says is a compensation fund for people and companies damaged by this bill. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so, I mean, everyone. Yeah. Will it be enough? He even said he's going to use his legal authority to ensure BP does this. How do you think BP CEO feels walking into that buzzsaw? I know. Of a meeting. Well, he's already. Obama's already publicly said that he should be fired. Yeah. Well, it just is going to be one of those situations where we have to follow through with watching this and making sure it happens. Because we'll forget about it tomorrow. Do you shake hands? Yeah. Do you walk in, do you shake their hand? What do you mean? Meeting like that. Like, this guy's screwed up royally. Does Obama shake his hand? Hey, how you doing? I'm Barack. Nice to meet you. You have to. Yeah, right? Slap his butt. Oh, man.
I hadn't even considered that. I always think of that. They do that with like, you know, world leaders that we've had decades of beef with. Of course. And just thought I'd let you guys know real quick. BP is right now capturing about 630,000 gallons of oil a day, but still hundreds of thousands are escaping. I can't think about it too long because it makes me. It's sickening. It makes me unnerved. My wife this week. Hang on. So my wife this weekend said, have you heard this song yet? She said, have you heard this Carrie Underwood song? Oh, this is, yes, I love this song. She said, have you, it's Sienna's picking the music today. She goes, have you heard this Carrie Underwood song? Because it was on the radio. I go, no. And I listened to it. She said that she wrote it with that chick on American Idol, The Judge, Cara Diaguardia. Cara Diaguardia, yeah. Cara Diaguardia. Uh-huh. And it was one of those deals where I was like, it sounds like a billion other songs to me, but at the same time, I'm like. I heard it once. You're in. Ten minutes later, I'm like, undo it. I heard it once. I'm doing it now. I've only heard it once. She performed it on American Idol. That was the first time I heard it. I was like, I love this song. See, to me, a big part of music is it has to have a function, just like bubble gum. Bubble gum has to have a function. The function of bubble gum is it makes my breath fresh. I can blow bubbles with it. It has a function. For some people, though, music is more than that.
Music has to serve a philosophical function, meaning that it makes me very cool if I listen to it, smarter than you, and... Why are you looking at me? What do you mean? Don't look at me. What do you mean? What do you mean? Bubble gum in that is a really good reference, by the way, my friend. That's why I used it. Very good. It is as bubble gum as it comes, but I'm about to blow a bubble. Ready? Yeah. I'm not aware of too many things. Dude, that's right. I know what I know if you know what I mean. Do ya. Do ya. Okay, how many songs? Oh, he's so right. Your songs do that too. I know, I'm just saying. When I heard it, I go, oh, this is a remix, Edie Burkell. Dude, that's it. Wait till you get to the chorus, it's different. Too many things, I know what I know. If you know what I mean. It is. Do ya. I was like, that's a remix. Let's do a mashup. Mash it up. I like it. She's so good. I love her. I like her voice. And her look and everything about her. She's hot as can be. She's smoking hot. You know what? She'll slit your throat. Oh, Carrie, yeah. She will slit your throat. She'll take a Louisville slugger to both husbands. Oh, for sure. And if you do something sideways...
Another NFL quarterback who a team is pretty much hitching their futures on got in trouble over the weekend. There's video of it. It's all over, all over SportsCenter, all over TV today. You're going to see this brawl with this dude, and we'll tell you all about it in Woods on Sports next. on the mikey show now call 570-1949 or shoot him a text 949 mikey at gmail.com this is the mikey show on fm 94.9 he asked people on the street when it comes to shopping for a car what does we've got what it takes mean to you they got a good product and that's what it takes good trade-in value for my car great customer service and great value now get zero percent financing on many of toyota's most popular models yes
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right guardrail this report is brought to you by mcdonald's it's back now quench your thirst for less at mcdonald's for a limited time choose from a variety of 42 ounce icy cold soft drinks only 79 cents that's a lot of refreshment for very little change i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 now back to the mikey show