The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 06/22/11
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
celebrity marriageNFL labor agreementfair attractionsconcert giveawayslegal casecomedy controversyword gamescience experimenttommy bahamajeff bridgescourtney stoddennfl cba
The show opened with Mikey and Woods ribbing each other over a Tommy Bahama tag left on the microphone, then moved to Jay’s loud tennis‑ball cannon experiment that left everyone reaching for ear protection. Throughout the hour they gave away Jeff Bridges concert tickets via the word‑of‑the‑day ‘conditioner’, dissected the controversial Doug Hutchinson–Courtney Stodden marriage, and broke down the NFL’s new collective bargaining agreement. Other highlights included a recount of the Asian massages they received at the fair, an update on the Casey Anthony case, a discussion of Tracy Morgan’s gay‑remarks apology, and a lively buzzword game where the word ‘down’ generated rapid‑fire shout‑outs.
What happened, in order
Tommy Bahama Tag
Mikey and Woods joke about leaving the Tommy Bahama tag on the microphone, comparing it to a Minnie Pearl hat and teasing each other about being aficionados.
Asian Massages at the Fair
Mikey, Woods, Lauren and Sienna recount getting massages from Asian workers who barely spoke English at the San Diego County Fair, describing the experience as phenomenal.
Jeff Bridges Ticket Giveaway
The word of the day is 'conditioner'; caller nine who uses it in a sentence wins tickets to see Jeff Bridges perform Crazy Heart in Phoenix, requiring travel to Arizona.
Doug Hutchinson & Courtney Stodden Marriage
The crew discusses 51‑year‑old Doug Hutchinson’s marriage to 16‑year‑old Courtney Stodden, questioning her age and suggesting it’s a publicity stunt.
NFL CBA Negotiation Details
Woods explains the proposed collective bargaining agreement: players’ revenue share drops from 60% to 48%, a full 16‑game Thursday night TV package starts in 2014, and retirees get better health care.
Casey Anthony Case Update
Sienna reports on a new development in the Casey Anthony case where a fellow inmate, April Whalen, claims Casey heard about a child’s drowning and may have used the story to invent the ‘Zanny the Nanny’ alibi.
Old Man Does Science Cannon
Jay builds a tennis ball cannon using PVC and a Coke can, fills it with gas, and fires it loudly, startling the crew and prompting ear protection.
Buzzword Game – 'Down'
Lauren invents the buzzword game; the word is ‘down’ and the crew shouts out phrases like ‘shut down’, ‘hands down’, ‘turn down’, scoring points for quick responses.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienSiennaJayDoug HutchinsonCourtney StoddenRoger GoodellTracy MorganCasey AnthonyLatoya JacksonMichael JacksonApril WhalenRyan Dunn
35,182 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
I just realized. How long has that been there? Since yesterday afternoon. I tied it on there in front of you. Didn't even notice. Woods tied a Tommy Bahama tag onto my microphone. Well, what I did is I just took your new Tommy Bahama microphone out of the box. I unwrapped it and set it up for you. Yeah, you left the tag on. Yeah, I left the tag on. You left the tag on. Keeps its value that way. That's right. You clown. Much like the Tommy Bahama hat you have with the sticker still on. And the dangling price tag, like Minnie Pearl from Hee Haw. If you are new listening to The Mikey Show, I don't even wear Tommy Bahama. I don't have anything against it. I just don't wear it. No, you have nothing against it. You're a stockholder, a shareholder, a fan. A shirt wearer. Aficionado. How dare you. Tommy Bahama aficionado. TBA. Welcome. One and all. to the one and only Mikey Show. You can call us, 570-1949. You can text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. And it's going to be one heck of a show. First of all, we did a tweet up yesterday where we took to Twitter and told people, all right, here's where we are. Come and meet us right now and hang out with us. And people did, and it was cool, and we were at the fair. And so we actually have some audio of us.
getting massages by Asians that barely spoke English at the fair. And it was phenomenal. And we will play it for you at 8 o'clock. The old man that does science at 7.30 has me very worried. You should be scared. Based on Jay's recap, which says that he was trying the old man that does science bit at his house yesterday when things got, quote, A little crazy. He says, now the neighbor that already hates me can add another reason to the list. I also may never regain my hearing in both ears. Oh, boy. Super. Yeah. Scares me a lot. I'm petrified. I am petrified. I don't want to get fired. I don't want to get in trouble. I don't want to be kicked out. I want everything to be okay, and I'm worried. I let Garrett know, and he said, have fun. Oh, wow. Nice. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Easy for him to say he's not going to be here. Right. Plus, I'm trying to get you fired. And then hire you. And then fire you. And then hire you. And then fire you. That's the best way, Mike. That's right. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. I am 41 years of age. And I enjoy a prominent position on the Board of Supervisors for General Electric and Apple. And that's it.
I'm just kidding. I don't know. I'm just letting my brain loosen up. That's equivalent of stretching for me. Really? Yeah. Daydream. It's equivalent of stretching. It's just saying stuff. Woodsy is our sports guy. He is 35 and he is a shark expert and he's anointed with special oils. So that's cool. Fair enough. L.O.B., otherwise known as Lauren O'Brien, is our assistant producer, but she also was a private investigator for San Ramon County, and she worked in the CSI unit in Metropolitan Florida. Sienna is our news girl, and she used to be an acrobat professionally in the Japanese circus and traveled around the world doing that. Let's see. And then Jay is our producer and he has been placed in the witness protection program. He's a former mafia member and now holds a position as our executive producer. You also forgot convicted rapist. Jay Isbell. You know, Woods, I was stretching too. I was stretching too. I know. I was just stretching. I understand. But sometimes rape just isn't that funny. It's not that funny. But, you know.
Stretching it out, dude. You're stretching it out. Helps me to get, you know, the things firing. Yep. And then our phone screener is Chris. That's crap. Today's word of the day is conditioner. So, when I say that, between now and ten, you'll hear me use the word conditioner, weave it into a sentence somehow. Caller number nine will be going to sea. Well, you're going to get tickets to go to sea. Jeff Bridges in concert doing his Crazy Heart stuff. How rad is that? Now, here is the caveat to that. You just have to know this. We're going to give you the tickets to go see him, but you've got to get yourself to Phoenix. He's only doing a couple of shows here in America. And so you've got to get yourself to Phoenix, get a place to stay. And this is him from the movie Crazy Heart. Academy Award winning Jeff Bridges. We're giving you tickets to this sold out concert at the Arizona Biltmore. It's going to be July the 3rd. So it's 4th of July weekend. And I want to say thank you to the Arizona Biltmore. You can find them online, Arizona Biltmore, Hollywoodandwine.com. Oh, and we... Oh, it's going to be... I'm calling it right now. That's the opener. I hope so. I'm calling it. I hope so. I will freak out. Oh.
I love it. I used to be somebody. It's so good. What if Colin Farrell shows up? Ella B just blew my mind. You just blew my mind. Surprise guest. Oh, my God. That would be awesome. He comes out like Tommy Sweet in the movie. Yes. With his ponytail. Oh, boy. Oh, my gosh. Sorry. I lose my mind. I know. I lose my mind. But anyway, that is the prize. How's that for a prize? Getting to go see Jeff Bridges in concert. Let's see. So, a bunch of big stories out there. So, we talked about Doug Hutchinson. Now, Doug Hutchinson is, he played a bad guy in the movie The Green Mile. Okay? And he played Percy. We all remember Percy. And he has married a 16-year-old girl. And her name is what, Sienna? Courtney Stodden. Courtney Stodden. This was him from the Green Mile. Percy, you want to think about what you were doing just now? They are in cradle school, in case you didn't notice. Although you treat them that way half the time. He was the guy that stepped on the mouse. Punk. Well, he married a, and I'm using finger quotes, 16-year-old girl. And it's been in the news. And we looked at her picture the other day. Yeah, we did.
So, you know, he's 51 years old. He's 51. Yeah. And she is, and I'm using finger quotes, 16 years old, and put this message on YouTube about bullying. Hi, I'm Courtney Stodden, and I'm here to talk to you about public and cyberbullying, which actually is a huge problem in the world today. I am an upcoming recording artist. I'm a model, inspiring actress. Inspiring actress. Upcoming. Okay, now, Sienna. Yeah. What is the latest on this marriage? Well, basically, since the news broke that they got married, people just lost their minds. They're like, what? A 16-year-old girl? Everyone's looking up, us included, her picture to see what she looks like. And every single person in this room and at home is like, there's no way this girl is 16. No way. People are guessing she's about...
30. She looks like a real housewife of Reno. A hundred percent. Yeah. Right. And so bloggers and all these people are doing research trying to find out there's no way she's 16. How old is she really? And people have stumbled upon a modeling page where listed she said she was 17. And this was from a while back. So, you know, 87. But Radar Online, which is like a gossip type site, they found what claims to be the marriage certificate, which says that she's 16. They posted a picture of the certificate. So I don't know. It's just everyone's wondering what the deal is with this girl and if she really is this young or if it's a publicity stunt. I think it's a publicity stunt. Well, she sure doesn't look 16. I mean, she looks old. Her mom, she was the one that approved the nuptials because she's 16, there has to be a parental. you know, approval. Right. And the mother just gave up all this information. She's like, look, Courtney was a virgin until she married Doug. She's a good Christian girl. She's a beautiful girl. How does she know? She has real breasts, real lips. She's not plastic. Her mom just like says all this. Scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has. Bring on the big ones. Very weird. It's weird though. If you look at a picture of her, no way is she 16. I spent a lot of time looking at pictures of her. Sure.
Not at home because my wife's there. Here in the office. I was here until 6 o'clock last night. Researching. And then I wait until everyone leaves and I research. It's called show prep, Mike. Yes. Going the extra mile. Being informed. That's right. Working hard, Mike. I'm a hard worker. Can't fault me for that. Right. So anyway, the story is she might be fake. Woodsy. What's going on? What's the latest with the CBA? What does that stand for? Collective bargaining agreement. So there is a lockout in the NFL. If you didn't know, you've been living in a cave. But Roger Goodell, who's the commissioner of the NFL, came out yesterday and he has given us some little nuggets of what is actually in the proposed collective bargaining agreement. Now, what that is, is the owners and the players have to agree on terms. the distribution of revenue, all kinds of stuff. So here's some things. I'm just going to run through the list for you. Now, this is news because up until this point, they weren't talking about it. Right. We didn't know. We didn't know what is actually now on the table. Okay. Okay. Players will get 48% of all revenue. Oh, wow. Well, that's down from 60%. Okay. So they're now trying to meet somewhat in the middle. Okay. That's down from 60%. Dude.
I had no idea. Did you know that? Did you know that players made 60% of all the revenue that came in from the NFL? And see, what this says is the 60% did not include $1 billion. It's so weird to understand. The $1 billion was designated as an expense credit off the top of the $9 billion revenue model. So the way I see that is there's $9 billion. They take $1 million off. $1 billion off? $1 billion off. That goes to the owners. Then 60% goes to the players. Now, 60% of $8 billion. Correct. Now, 48% goes to the players without that $1 billion cut. Okay? So, it may come out in the wash. Does that make sense to you? No. It's a lot of math and numbers. Let me tell you why it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense because there's a salary cap. Correct. Meaning that you can only pay players a certain amount. Right. And it all doesn't add up, at least I don't think it does, to $8 billion. Unless I'm really, really wrong here, I don't think it adds up to eight bills. No, and we're talking revenue, too. We're talking that's revenue. That's a revenue number. That's concessions, stadium, paying for the organization. That's the entire... That goes under the cover of players?
Well, no, the players are getting 48% of all revenue made. So that's jersey sales. I understand. But do you see what I'm saying? No. Okay. And for anybody listening right now, if we're talking about $8 billion and that that's going to the players, we somehow have to take all the players in the NFL and we have to go, somehow, eight bill is going to you in salary. Right. Retirement. Okay. All kinds of stuff. All right. Taking care of them after their careers. Got it. Medical care for them, insurance, all that. That makes sense. That's all under the umbrella. Okay. The player's share will never dip, never dip below 46.5% under the new formula being negotiated. Teams are required to spend close to 100% of the salary cap. They have to max out. Wow. Okay. That's pretty rad. They're not now? I guess they're not. I guess some people aren't. The rookie wage. We got to stop there. Yeah. What the hell are they doing with the leftovers? Of course. Of course. Right in their pocket. There's a lot of owners in a lot of professional sports that make a lot of dough that don't flip it back into their team. I mean, that's nothing new. I did not know that, bro. Absolutely. I thought that there is a, you know, there's a cap.
And you hit it. Yeah. It means, like, every single team, it's equal. Oh, no way. Unlike baseball. No way. Unlike baseball, where you can spend as much as you want. Absolutely. But in the NFL, you can only spend, let's say, $10. Okay. And what I thought was, they were like, well, we can only spend $10, but let me tell you something. We're going to spend $10. Yeah, there's guys spending $7. What? Yeah, for sure. Holy cow. Absolutely. Because think about it, man. Not every team makes equal revenue. Oh, my dude. If I'm let's say, for instance, it's the Lions and I found out that my team was only spending six bucks. I'd be pissed. Absolutely. But you got to have it to spend it. You know, in a lot of cases, they don't have it. Now, contrary to popular belief, not every NFL game is a sellout. Not every team is wildly popular in the city in which they live or where they reside. Yes, but they are making. The salary cap. Yeah, right. You should. You should. No, not you should. They do. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. They do. I think the salary cap is something like $56 million or something like that. These teams are making tons more than that. And they're spending $40 million. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it would drive me nuts, too. It would drive me nuts, too. So they're also doing the rookie wage scale, which I think is just brilliant. I think it is. Rookie wage scale is part of the deal, but it's still being tweaked.
Four years needed for unrestricted free agent status. Certain tags will be retained, like franchise tags and things like that, but still being discussed. So now in order to become an unrestricted free agent, you can go sign with any team you want. You've got to have four years in the league. 18-game regular season designated only as a negotiable item and at no point is mandated in the deal. Good because it's stupid. Right. And no one wants it. Full 16-game. Thursday night TV package beginning in 2014. So every Thursday night, every week in the NFL, there'll be a Thursday night game starting in 2014. That's on the table. Greedy bunch of greedy. Play them every day. That sounds so greedy. I know. Owners are still getting expense. They'll still get expense credits that will allow funding for new stadiums. Owners will get to eat $20 Bill sandwiches. Yeah, right. And this one's really good. Retirees to benefit from improved health care pension benefits as revenues projected to double to $18 million by 2016. So they're throwing more money in the pension, more money in health care for the ex-players. And if you guys know anything about the condition of a lot of ex-NFL players out there right now, it ain't good. Yeah, they're jacked up. They're jacked up. They're jacked up.
When they leave that field, there's a lot of stuff that goes downhill with them. Which, by the way, is the reason that the NFL is as popular as it is. Right. In my opinion, the reason that the NFL is as popular as it is is because it's hands down the most violent sport in the world. Yeah. In my opinion. Somebody can call and go, no, MMA is more violent. Right. Okay, those guys fight twice a year. You know, sometimes a little more. You know, these guys fight a lot more than that. And I say fight because they're taking, if you don't think it's a fight, let Ray Lewis hit you. In practice. Be Ray Lewis and go 150% every single play for three hours, three and a half hours. Yeah. And, you know, it's just crazy. But anyway, so Goodell, they asked him about the drop dead date. And two, cut two. Is there a drop dead date? There isn't. What is that? The drop dead date, when they have to get everything done by. So he's saying there's no drop dead date. But obviously, time is moving quickly. And we're fast approaching training camp period. And I think there's an urgency for everybody to get this done. Oh, really? I think so. What happened to that drop dead date we talked about? Yeah, they were talking about July 8th as being that, well.
That date is the date that they have to be done by in order to still have the full season that we've grown accustomed to with the training camps and all that. So that's a drop dead date set by the fans and by just precedent, right? They don't have like, hey, we got to get this thing done by then. They don't care. I mean, at the end of the day, they want to get the deal hammered out. Okay. And they don't want to miss any games. All right. Which is the key. And what's this other one? That's just him saying it's good that we're all still together, but you can play it. This is him at the beginning of the press conference. The objective here is to get something that works for everybody. It's not what everybody wants. It's what everybody needs to reach an agreement that is fair and balanced and is going to work to make our game better and to continue to grow our game. Gosh, I'm so... You know, football is my favorite sport in the world, probably yours too, and I'm just so disgusted. I'm not quite at the disgusted. My hands are still very much in football because I have to read all this stuff and try to make sense of it. I should have gone to law school to be able to describe this collective bargaining stuff. I never thought that I would read as much about the CBA.
I want a deal to get done, and I want, you know, because now is a really fun time of year because, you know what? Reggie Bush is out there, man. The Chargers could feasibly go sign a guy like Reggie Bush, which would really, I think, help them. There's a Steve Smith out there. We can't do anything yet. That's what sucks is, like, we can't go out and get those free agent players, and we can't see how our rookies are doing yet. You know, we got to wait, and that's the hard part. Weird season. Yesterday we were at the fair and a girl was injured there. Yeah, a teenage girl. There is a ride at the fair called the Techno Power Ride. And basically it's one of those multi-arm spinning rides. There's three sets of two seats on each end of the arm. And when the ride stopped, people were getting off. And then all of a sudden it just started up again. Oh, wow. So scary. And so not only was a teenage girl injured who was riding the ride, but so was the guy that was working the ride. They happened around 1240 yesterday and they had to get Mercy Air. They were airlifted to Rady's Children's Hospital around 140 in the afternoon. And this all happened while we were there. Yeah. I wasn't aware of any of this. Me either. But yeah, they've closed the Techno Power Ride. They say it usually takes about 24 hours. They need to get.
people over to check out the ride and obviously see what's wrong with it, make sure it's going to be safe. But yeah, I wonder if it was right now. I wonder if his operator error or or, you know, there's something wrong with. Yeah, they haven't given details as to exactly how it happened or the injuries. I do know that the there's. photos that were released and the girl had some scrapes and bruises and the operator there's a picture of the operator it looks like he's just passed out on the floor oh my gosh you can see him i mean he does not look i wonder what happened to him like did somebody get thrown into him or something or the seat maybe started and hit him or the ride hit him i mean i don't know but he's on the ground not looking good but they're alive that's a good thing gnarly that ride is crazy too I'm trying to picture it, Jay. What does it look like? It's got the arms that go. It's got the arms that spin, and the thing goes all at the same time. Oh, and it looks loud. Yeah. Gosh. Crazy. I was walking around at the fair yesterday, and now being a new mom, I was like, I don't know if I want Sage going on these things. They're scary. So scary. I wanted to go on a ride yesterday, but I thought I would throw up, so I didn't. I thought it was the height limit that kept you off. Really?
Must be this tall. Got a couple of those comments on my Facebook yesterday. People ever mean on Facebook? Yes. Let's see. And then the other deal is the Casey Anthony case. Oh, man. A big, big blow to the defense yesterday. OK, so this is pretty crazy. Yesterday, prosecutors were saying that they were looking into information regarding a woman who was incarcerated at the same time Casey Anthony was. This woman in jail with her says that her child died by drowning in a pool and was discovered by the grandfather. Oh, wow. So prosecutors are now like, oh, my gosh, what's going on? Well, they've spoken to this woman. Her name is April Whalen. And April is saying, I've never talked to Casey before. We've never talked, but it's not. impossible for Casey to have spoken to someone else who knew my story and told it to Casey. Not only that, but if you consider that Casey made up a fake nanny named Zanny the Nanny, the way that she got Zanny the Nanny was by seeing some poor woman's application to live in an apartment complex. And so she kind of has precedent of
Just hearing something secondhand or seeing something or something shiny. And running with it. And running with it. Yeah, this information came from a citizen who actually called the Orange County Sheriff's Office last week and said, you know, these two have been in contact and I know something's going on here. Wow. Tracy Morgan used some really, really bad judgment in making some gnarly comments about gay people and all kinds of stuff, right? And he was doing a show in Nashville. Well, now he's had to apologize for it and all that stuff. Well, we have actual audio of a press conference that he held to apologize, say sorry. We got all that audio coming up. And we're going to do air horn birthdays coming up as well. Don't go away. On FM 94.9. Now, during Toyota's July 4th Spectacular, it's great savings, great selection, and a great time to buy. Get 0% financing for 60 months on the new 2011 Camry. That's right. Save thousands with zero APR on a new Camry with its 33 MPG. See your San Diego County Toyota dealer. Toyota's July 4th Spectacular is going on now, and there's never been a better time to buy a new Toyota. Hurry in for zero APR on a new Camry. 2011 EPA estimates. Actual mileage will vary.
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And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. And I wear like a 44 small. Lauren. I'm a lyricist. Woods. I mean, hey, listen, I did snuff on the plane, okay? Zienna. I put my head down because if I hear someone cry, I cry. And Jay. You'd have to be dying not to come down and help you. Yeah. I would have to have had my arm chopped off. On FM 94.9. We see Morgan Press Conference coming up here in just a minute. He had to apologize for all the comments that he made when he was doing a show in Nashville. He was making anti-gay remarks. Now he's got to say sorry. We are going to do air horn birthdays here in a little bit. We've got old man that does science at 730, and I'm worried because I know it's going to be loud. I don't know what it is, but all I know is that Sienna said that Jay requested that it be early. Before others come into the office. Word of the day is conditioner, so you're going to hear me weave the word.
conditioner into a sentence between now and 10. And when you do hear that, be caller number nine, you will get tickets to see Jeff Bridges in concert in Phoenix. The only thing you got to do is get yourself to Phoenix and have a place to stay in Phoenix, but we'll get you into his sold out concert where he's going to do his bad Blake from crazy heart stuff, which is absolutely amazing. Hey, our friend Jared. He did new signing placards for us that you're going to see. He is absolutely amazing when it comes to doing graphic design. So if you need a website, business cards, or any of that stuff, he is absolutely the guy you got to get a hold of. He can do posters. He can do any of that kind of stuff. So check him out at createyourdesignonline.com. He's a good friend of ours, and we love him. Tracy Morgan's press conference in Nashville. Check it out. The first thing I want to say is I apologize to Kevin, the people that were at the show for bumming him out. I want to apologize to my friends and my family, my fans. Now, I'm going to say this. I think it's great that Tracy Morgan is apologizing. A couple of observations. A, great that he's apologizing. Two, there's no way I think he keeps that 30 Rock job unless he apologizes. Right.
You know, I'm not going to say that he isn't sorry because I actually believe he is genuinely sorry. Sure. But there's no way that he keeps that, you know, regular paying job on 30 Rock if he doesn't apologize. And the other thing that I think is so interesting is that he, you never hear his voice sound like this. Yeah. Never. Never. It's always like this. Right. So to hear this is a trip. Yeah. Every community who offended with this, I didn't know, I didn't mean it. And that's how I feel about it. I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe that anyone should be bullied or just made to feel bad about who they are. I totally feel that in my heart. I really don't care who you love, same sex or not, as long as you have the ability to love. That's the important thing here. How strange. How strange. When you put it all in order, that he is a wild comedian. Wild. Wild comedian. Loose cannon. Yes. And he does a joke about gays in Nashville, takes a lot of heat for it, and then has to get up and give a sincere apology about how he...
He doesn't really hate gay people. And really what matters is that you love someone. The whole thing sounds weird. Disjointed. At this point in my life, it's an opportunity to make a difference. And I don't really see gay or straight. I just see human beings now. I pride myself on 20 years, 18 years. Well, if I understand the spirit of the humor, didn't you always? Unless, of course, you were serious, in which case it's just freaky if you were serious. But we thought you were joking, Tracy. He just said now. He just used the word now. Now, I don't see those. What? Now I get it. Now I get it. Wait a minute. We thought you were kidding. Right. Using it to heal people and not hurt. That was my whole thing.
When I was making the jokes, I was trying to heal people. I was trying to bring the gay community together. And in the process of trying to heal, I inadvertently hurt. Just real quick. I'm sorry, guys. I didn't mean it. I was trying to be funny. It wasn't funny. And I'm sorry. The more you go, the more you dig. Digging a hole. I hurt people with this. So from the bottom of my heart, I apologize to everybody who are offended with my words on stage in Nashville or anywhere else. I just apologize to you. And I want to take this opportunity. I mean, here's the other thing. Do I think that what he said was distasteful? And do you? Maybe you do. Maybe you don't. Yeah, I do.
But we have to recognize he is a comedian. Yeah, man. He is a comedian. And we do live in a country where you're allowed to say whatever you want. He could get up there and he could make jokes. Dennis Miller or Dennis Leary has made jokes about autistic kids. Oh, yeah. He's made jokes about autistic kids. Now, I may not like it, but he's got every right to do it. It's America. He can say whatever he wants. I don't have to like him. Yeah, you know. Tracy Morgan's on network television. He's on a hit show. Red Fox, Richard Pryor, those guys, they would have never apologized for their comedy. Ever. Well, here is the difference. And I still agree with you. The only difference is that now we live in YouTube land. Right. Now we live in, I can tape you and instantly put it on the internet and then the whole world knows what you did. See, people didn't know what Richard Pryor maybe was saying. Yeah.
if he said something different than what he said in his live concerts that were taped and put out in movie theaters. Sure. If he did some small show in the middle of Louisiana in 1974, nobody knew. Yeah. Nobody knew. It's the information age now, and everything's available. It's instant. Now, still, with that being said... A comedian should be able to say whatever he wants because it's America. If he made a joke about the most nasty things, what's the worst that we can think of? The very worst stuff that we can think of is like incest or child rape or whatever. Some awful comedian can make a joke about that and they're allowed. I don't have to like it. It's not an awful comedian if they make that joke. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess if you make a child rape joke, it doesn't make you awful. It's just a joke. It's just a joke, you know, whatever. Yeah, and you're right. I was judging. I felt like if somebody made fun of child rape, it would be bad. And it doesn't necessarily make them a bad person. It means that they're, you know, that's their humor. Provocative. Their provocative humor.
But I don't think Tracy Morgan should be apologizing for, A, what is his right to do, and B, what is – he's a comic. Yeah. He's not a senator. If the president of the United States said it, it's really, really different. Well, yeah. He's held to a higher moral standard. He's held to a higher moral standard. I think the difference is if it's funny. No, because your version of funny is different than my version. No, but if it's hate-filled, if you feel like it's a hate-filled rant, which it felt more of a hate-filled rant than he was trying to be. You know, the thing with gay people, it wasn't like that. According to Kevin. Yeah, well. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the stuff that I... L.O.B.'s right. L.O.B.'s a comedian. L.O.B.'s a comedian, and I agree with her on that. I do feel that the spirit of what he was doing, he was trying to be funny. Yeah, you don't win them all. Because Daniel Tosh does it all the time. I mean, he makes fun, and he's racist, and he... But it's funny. He's a better stand-up comedian than Tracy Morgan, in my opinion. It sounded to me more like a rant than trying to be funny. It's more like, hey, here's a platform for me, and I'm going to get up on it and tell you what I think. Well, I was upset, man. I was upset during...
Don Imus got in trouble at doing what we do on the radio. And he said, nappy headed ho. Yep. Okay. Here's the thing. You don't have to listen to Don Imus. And he is trying to be funny. And he is not a politician. He's trying to be funny. And if you don't like it, you don't have to listen to it. But it's his right. It's his right. It's his First Amendment right. And, you know, that's what always gets me about that complaint about this stuff is, like, the very people that want you to be tolerant are intolerant. They're intolerant. He shouldn't be apologizing, in my opinion. He's allowed to say whatever he wants. I just don't have to like it. Well, as a public service announcement for stand-up comedians, I would like to say...
99% of the time you're going to find something offensive if you go to a show, but it's meant in jest. Yes. Red Foxx used to do a bit. It was about midgets. I mean, and you couldn't even say, you can't say the word midget on stage now. You'll have to make a public apology. And his bit was, man, I can't stand midgets. It freaked me out. You know, if a guy got on stage now and did that, he'd be killed. Of course. Of course. One of the funniest bits ever, by the way. Right. Ever. Unless you're a midget. A little person. A little person. And just like N-word jokes are okay, as long as you're a black person, it's like we've got so many rules. Yeah, Mario Cantone, I believe is his name, is a gay guy. And he does gay humor all the time. It's one of those things we always talk about. You can make fun of Latino people. I cannot because I am a white man. But how come non-blondes can make blonde jokes? It's true. How come? Because it's not a race. It's a hair color. You can change it, right? Yes. I can make fun of fat people. So here's your freaking air horn. Air horn birthdays.
Clearly. It's quite a way to wake up. It is what it is. It's an air horn. So if you want us to do an air horn birthday on somebody, all you need to do is go to MikeyShow.com and you can give us the information. Calling M1Daniel. Please enjoy the music while your party is reached. Daniel there? It's Mikey. Daniel, how are you? Well, my one birthday wish was sleeping in, so... Well, there goes that birthday wish. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. How old are you? 29 years old. 29. It's the last good one, pal. It's the last good one. It's true, it is. Make it count. Make it count. Congratulations to you, buddy. We love you, Daniel. All right, thanks, guys. Have a good birthday. Yeah, of course. It took 30 seconds to find it. He's like...
Hello? Hello? I love the waking up hello. Huh? Trying to sound like you didn't just wake up? Hello? No, I wouldn't sleep. Nothing happened. I went to the gym. Is Eric in, please? This is him. It's Mikey. Hey, Mikey. How old are you today? You little sleepy soldier? 24. He hadn't been up this early in years. Well, maybe ever. Yeah, maybe ever. Seventh grade. Seventh grade. What are you going to do tonight? Not anything tonight or anything now on the weekend. You're going to wait until this weekend? Yeah. Then what are you going to do? Are you going to do TJ and have the guys with the referee suits and the whistles do that kind of stuff?
Mechanical bull. That's the only way to do it, Mikey. That's right. You don't have to tell me that. Yeah. You know how I am. You know Mikey and TJ. That's right. Every weekend. All right, buddy. Yeah! Happy birthday. Thanks, guys. Love you, dude. Happy birthday, Ben. That's great. Poor guy. So, we went to the fair yesterday, and I just want to let everybody know that we got Asian massage. Did we? Oh, that's right. Hmm. I don't know where you were, Jay. I was standing right next to you. I didn't even see you. Oh, I got massages for these four. I was looking for Jay, who's right next to you. He's standing right next to me. I didn't see him. He had a hat on. Maybe he didn't recognize him. A visor. Yeah. We were holding hands. I was giving you a piggyback ride. It's because I hate Jay. I know. Middle child.
I don't hate Jay. He's not my middle child. I'll just take the $10. You already did. I paid for your parking. Then you got free parking and hiked in seven miles. You didn't give me any money. I didn't. That's right. You gave me money. I gave you money, L.O.B. But I owe you money back, I thought. You hiked in. You didn't need parking. I know, but then I bought my food with it. That's why I needed cash. That's right. These two. Oh, my gosh. L.O.B. and Jay. Yeah. The two cheapest people. There are certain things I don't like to pay for. I would rather hike in. Would rather. And they parked. Did you park in the same place? Mm-hmm. I was slightly. Oceanside? Solana Beach. Oh. And they walked. Yeah. Because they refused to pay fair parking. And there was no line where we were. And it was easy access. Of course not. And we were already in the fair. Yeah. And they walked all the way in. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
It's great. I got my cardio in. Oh, my gosh. Worked off that fair food. Yeah. You certainly did. Y'all should try. Yeah. Maybe try it, Matt. Maybe don't pay for parking. Let me tell you something. I saw someone there yesterday in one of those buggies or whatever. Rascal. Rascal. Is that what it's called? Uh-huh. What's that? You sit in it and you drive around. Are you referring to the guy that got mad? That we were all in the handicap line that was behind us? Was he angry? I think he was angry. I would be. Why was he? You were? Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait. We were at the fair. Yeah. We got the handicap line offered to us. Offered to us. The woman, a woman walks up to us and she goes, you can go in here through the handicap because you have a messed up leg because Woods does. And I said, we all can? She goes, yeah. Your whole party. Okay.
There was a very long line getting into the regular line. Huge line. It took a while. And there was a guy behind us, and he was in one of those scooter things. Yeah, he wheeled up and looked at the line, and he's looking, and he's looking at everybody in line. And, you know, we don't have canes or rascals or, you know, whatever. And he looked and looked right at me. And then I looked at him, and I was thinking a real D thing. I was like, that guy's not handicapped. He's just... fat. And that's why he's on that rascal. Is that right? 80 years old. No, no, no. No, he was not 80. So I was like, well, let's, hey, pal, six of one, half dozen of the other, okay? Maybe I'm not really handicapped, but maybe neither are you. Yeah. That's what my crazy mind thought. Question. Yeah. If you get to be very large. Yes. By your own doing. Right. Feasting. Feasting. You get to go in handicapped? Oh, yeah. If you're on one of those rascals, man, you have a ball on those things. Mikey, don't do it. What's he? Yeah. I had no idea. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that that was the case. It's one of the perks, pal. What's he got in handicap? I got in handicap. It's not like he had a placard. Right. The guy just showed up in a scooter. Just looked at him and knew. Do you take those things around with you or do you rent the rascals? You can rent them there. Or you can have them hook up to the back of your car. You have a little ramp you drive it up on.
You'd love it. Of course. Don't encourage him. The whole time at the fair, Mike kept talking about how he wanted Sage's stroller for himself. Let me tell you, Sienna brought her daughter, Sage, who's nine months old, and she was in the most comfortable stroller I've ever seen in my life. It looked like a Ferrari. It looked like a Ferrari. And I said, oh. how I wish that someone could push me around in one of those. There might have been a mister in there, possibly. I mean, it looked phenomenal. Yeah, it was like a mister. It was great. It massaged her back. Yeah, it massaged her back. There's a radio. Holds her bottle. There's a flat screen. I kept looking at it and thinking to myself, oh, would I like to take a nap in one of those? I thought a really funny bit would have been for us to get a big wagon and for me to pull Mike around the fair in a big wagon. That would be the greatest. The greatest. It was a fun day. I had fun with you guys. Have you ever gotten a parking ticket while you're in a car? You're in the car and you get a parking ticket and you're not even told about, like they don't even say anything to you? Oh. It happened to someone close to us. I've always thought Latoya Jackson is a little, but she was on the Today Show yesterday and she was talking about how she thinks that maybe Michael was assassinated.
And we have the audio. Next. This is the Mikey Show. I like it. I like it. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. You're a nerd. More coming up in just a couple. FM 94.9. The president and founder of Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, Angelo DeMonte. If you're ready for a new car, today is the day to come to Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. For as low as $349 a month, you can be driving a brand new Mercedes-Benz. My grandfather always said it only costs a little bit more to get the best. Well, you know what? Now you can have the best for $349 a month. That's less than many other makes or models that are not in the class of a Mercedes-Benz. There are fine automobiles out there. They are not Mercedes-Benz. For $349 a month, you can be driving the best today at Mercedes-Benz of Escondido. People locally and all over Southern California.
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We have some slowing this morning on the 15 southbound between the 78 Center City Parkway. We've got speeds in the teens already this morning there. Also, the 15 southbound between Carmo Mountain Road, Miramesa Boulevard, pretty slow, about the 20s. And as you travel on the 94 eastbound between the 5 and the 805, you're going to find a backup there. This report brought to you by Mossy Nissan. They'll pay you cash for your car. Bring it in. Get an honest, fair, written offer today. Call 888-50-MOSSY. You can go to any of the six convenient locations. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. You're going to hear some weird LaToya stuff in a bit. Just a second, actually. Isn't that redundant, Mike? I know. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, Mexican authorities captured the top leader of one of Mexico's most violent drug cartels. It happened yesterday. His name is, wait for it, Jose de Jesus Mendez Vargas. How's that? Vargas. He's also known as the monkey. He was captured. Sad story out of San Diego. A distraught father.
Killed his two teenage sons and set fire to their home before killing himself. Just really awful story. Happened in Chula Vista. Thomas Fuchs. What is that about, you think? Not a bad word. Not a bad word. That's his last name. It's probably Fuchs. Fuchs. F-U-C-H-S? Yes. Fuchs, maybe. Fuchs. We don't have to dump that. No. That's his name. It's Fuchs. His name is Thomas M. Effer. Stop. No, it's a really sad story. He was having some problems with finance and a custody battle with his ex-wife. And so he killed his 15 and 13-year-old son, Sean and Kyle. Yeah, 1.30 a.m. on Tuesday. And just the mom tried to get into the house. The police wouldn't let her. It was very bad. Sad story. Woodsy, what's going on in sports? Sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. How about those Padres? Got them a win last night. Beat those nasty Red Sox 5-4. I love it. Heath Bell got the save. He hasn't worked a lot, man. This is only his seventh appearance this month.
That's not, you know, being a closer on a team like that is pretty tough. Didn't you say that the average per game is like $178,000? $187,000 in appearance he's averaging. And hopefully the Padres hang on to that guy, man, because I love him and I know you do too. And, man, he's really good for this team. But they did beat the Red Sox last night 5-4, which is really solid. Good for them. And if you guys weren't aware... There is a big tennis match going on right now, and it's called Wimbledon, and it takes place in England. Yes. Yesterday, Roger Federer, Novak Djokovic, and Andy Roddick were all winners. That's very nice. Serena Williams also made an emotional return to Wimbledon. That's very nice. Yes. Don't forget the old man that does science at 7.30, and it's going to be loud today. Greatest drum solo in rock and roll. And to the ladies in the audience, Sorry about that. Like kryptonite. Yeah, it's like kryptonite. Let's see. So the word of the day is conditioner. When I say it, caller nine gets the tickets to see Jeff Bridges in concert in Phoenix. You just got to get yourself to Phoenix and get a place to stay in Phoenix. But we will set you up with it. So Latoya Jackson was on the Today Show yesterday and said this.
You write, Michael had confided in me years earlier that he feared assassination by those who wanted to steal his valuable publishing catalog and estate. You also quote Michael as saying, I'm even afraid to walk around in my own yard because I'm afraid they're going to kill me. I could never perform again because I know they're going to kill me. Do you know who he was referring to? Yes, actually, he told me exactly who he was referring to. He was terrified. He was terrified of the fact that he had this cat log and he knew that they wanted it. You have to remember, this cat log was generated. It's catalog. It's catalog. Oh, wow. That's annoying. It could have been a cat log and we just don't know it. Yeah. Please don't say cat log. Cat log is what you find in the litter box. Yep. I take it back. All right. Oh, my. Listen. I'm actually thinking to myself, what if? What if? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on. Hang on. What if he was a wuss taken advantage of by people and didn't completely own his entire catalog, meaning that in the event of his death, it went to someone else? Isn't it possible that maybe somebody would be like, that's worth gajillions of dollars.
I'm going to off him. Isn't it possible that he liked to do a lot of drugs and he took a lot of drugs and died? I mean, then that would happen? Oh, that's true, too. You know? Yeah, that's true. But couldn't his doctor, over a period of time, be a part of it? Sure. And slowly over-medicate him? Yeah, I mean... If his doc stood to gain something. Right. And I think his doctor is up on charges. You know what I mean? A catalog of music, I should say, which was his publishing, which he owned over, I think it was 750,000 songs just alone. So he owned everybody's publishing. Who did he think wanted to kill him to gain control of that catalog? Well, everybody that surrounded that, that was involved in that, and he would speak about it. And he was very afraid. And he said, well, that would mean like lawyers and stuff like that. It's just a matter of time. He knew that was going to happen. But when he first told me, I was, Michael, come on, that can't be true. And I didn't truly understand it in the beginning. But the more he explained it, the more I understood. Can you explain it to us? Because the more you explain it, the less we understand. Here she is talking about Dr. Conrad.
So all the attention being paid to Dr. Conrad Murray for the death of Michael, you say he is the fall guy for a much larger plot. You write, quote, I decided to investigate Michael's death and go public with what I found with the hope of getting justice for Michael by identifying those who really killed him. And yet in the book, Latoya, I couldn't find anywhere where you actually name someone or give proof. of anyone actually killing Michael. But when you read the book and you read Between the Lies and you understand, you will know what exactly Michael led you to that, to what was going to happen. Well, lead me to it. What happened? Please. Please, so that we don't think that you're trying to make money off of your brother's dead body by selling a book. Please. But when you read the book, you understand it completely. But you don't have to buy the book. For $14.99 from, you know, Watermark, Books and publishing. But you read it. You will definitely understand it. And I have to say that I was not there when he was actually murdered. However. But you do believe that it was not Dr. Conrad Murray responsible for his death. That someone actually murdered your brother. I believe that Dr. Murray was definitely the fall guy. And I think that they need to investigate this a bit more. Go deeper into it. Oh, wow. That sounds crazy. That sounds crazy. The doctor was giving him drugs because he was Michael Jackson. Right.
And the guy got paid a lot of money to give him these drugs. And they were real heavy drugs. Michael liked them. Michael liked them. A lot. And this guy probably liked being around Michael Jackson. 100. And so you got money and you got Michael Jackson. That's what happened. Sure, wasn't the catalog? Could have been the catalog. The catalog. Catalog. Catalog. It could have been the catalog. Oh, my God. I don't actually know. That was powerful. We just snotted. He just spit coffee right out of his nose. I spit water and snot. Right out of his nose. Oh, boy. But yeah, I mean, I don't know. Very well could have been cat crack. I was not expecting that. Where's my cat crack? Isolate. As hard as I've ever heard Jay laugh. Where's my cat crack? I think it's on the right. Oh, gosh, that is good. I think it's on your right. Maggie, kill me. Where's my dog weed? Where's my dog weed? Where's the rabbit coke? I don't know. I don't know where your cat crack is. You could be a crackhead.
this doesn't work. I restarted it too. Oh! Oh, Mike found it. Yep. Oh my gosh. Oh boy. I miss cat crap. So check this out. Sienna's husband gets a ticket in the mail. Yeah. Your husband Todd gets a ticket in the mail and it's a parking ticket. It's when a parking ticket Which I didn't even know they gave out. It's for parking too far away from the curb. Yeah. Okay. Now, Todd says, well, I know exactly what happened here. I was talking to my phone, didn't get good service, pulled over to talk on the phone. Yeah. While I did, one of those traffic meter cops pulls up, writes him a ticket. No. No. No. Can I just...
Yeah. Okay. Come home from work yesterday. There's a ticket in the mail for Todd's car. And I'm like, he didn't tell me about this. So he comes home and I'm like, babe, did you see this? And he said, I never got a parking ticket. So he looks up the address of where it happened on the computer and is like. oh my gosh, I know what happened. He gets a call this day. It was June 6th, the day of the ticket. Gets a call on his phone. He's in a neighborhood near the beach. He pulls over to the side of the road. There's no cars around. He's not blocking anyone. He's in the car. The car is running and he's talking on his cell phone. Apparently he is, you know, not right next to the curb, which is why he got the ticket. But this meter maid, you're not supposed to say a traffic ticket enforcer, comes up from behind him, doesn't pull over, doesn't stop. It creeps up next to Todd's window, gives him a look like you shouldn't be doing that, but continues to drive. No big deal. Todd thinks, I'm not even doing anything wrong. I'm just talking on the phone. I pulled over. I'm not out of the car. Nothing. And leaves. The meter made leaves. Then we get this ticket in the mail that says he was parked his right wheel over 18 inches from curb. Oh, my God.
The meter maid never got out of the car, never gave him a physical ticket, never said a word to him, and sent him the ticket in the mail. Yeah, like, you know me. I say a million times, well, you know who doesn't? But not in this case. Because I say, well, why didn't she just go, hey, buddy, move it? She could see his cars running. She clearly was being a little sneak. Did she get out with a measuring stick? Right. She did nothing. She didn't get out of the car. Todd was like, I was on the phone for two seconds. I remember her driving by and thinking, get out of here. But he said, I never once thought I did anything wrong. Never. I pulled over to talk on the phone. I would fight it. Well, we want to, but how? How do you fight that? You've got to go to court. You've got to show up to the court date. It's a $59 ticket. No, I'd go. Principal. It's a principal because they know you won't fight it. They're thinking you just pay it. Fresh $60 for them. And his defense is what? That he was in the car? Yeah. I mean, we were talking about it last night and he said, you know, I have my cell phone record that proves I was on the phone at that time, but would that get me out of it? It's my word against hers. The other defense is she never actually handed him a ticket and never left a ticket there and just mailed it.
So if a cop sees me speeding, you can just mail me a ticket? Exactly. Without pulling me over? I know the red light cameras do that. Isn't that different? Not really. You know, one of them is a moving violation. Yeah, a moving violation is probably different than a parking violation. The thing that might get you, though, is that he was on his cell phone in a car. A running car, but he's pulled over. Exactly, but that's not what the ticket's for. That's not what the ticket's for. They could re-ticket you for you admitting your fault or your crime. Because Maddie was sitting at a light, just waiting for the light to change. She picked up her phone to look at the time. Quotes. Finger quotes. And the cop pulled up next to her and gave her a ticket. Well, wait a minute. If Maddie had the phone up to her ear, that's different. She didn't have it up to her ear. She didn't? No, she just pulled it up and looked at it because she got a message. You can't do that? You can't have it in your hand. You can't have it in your hand at all. If you're looking at a map, which I do on my phone. You know what I mean? If I'm looking at a map on my phone to get me somewhere, I can get a ticket. That's ridiculous. Yet I can mess with my, you know, anything else in my car. My iPod. Oh, boy. I can mess with that all day. And I do. As you know. I'm just like, I mean, is it worth going to court over? It's just like, I'm enraged by this. Like, how can this be legal? Well, if it is legal, then I don't have a problem with it. Well, of course it's.
No. It's legal. It sounds like it might not be. It sounds like it might not be. See, that's the deal. If you go to court, you have to be able to say why you shouldn't have to pay it. What's his excuse? I shouldn't have to pay it because... Because... She didn't measure. Okay, number one, she didn't measure. The car wasn't parked. The car... She didn't measure. I was not... I didn't park it and leave it. I was in the car. Okay. And she never gave me a ticket when I was there. She drove by me, looked at me, and then eyeballed the distance to the curb. Right. How does she know? The eyeball. The eyeball gets me. Right. M1 Orlando from San Carlos. Are you there? Go ahead. You're on the air. You go downtown. You go to, it has an address on it. Go in and you write an explanation and they'll dismiss it. Right there. Huge. How do you know? I've done it. They'll dismiss it?
It's an address on the ticket where you mail it. Yes. Talk to the clerk. This is what happens. She's going to tell you to put something in writing. Yeah, you give it back to her. Maybe you even show up with it in writing so you don't have to. You skip that step. Yeah. Hey, thanks, man. Yeah. Appreciate it. I've done it twice now. What was your deal? You know, it's been so long I can't remember. Yeah. But it was something that I shouldn't have gotten. Yeah. And I've done it two times. Thank you. Atta boy. Yep. Yeah, my dad tried to fight one one time because he's handicapped parking. And he parked on the line. And they didn't dismiss it. You're kidding. No, they made him pay it. On the line? I don't think you're allowed to. Gosh. Oh, boy. Aren't you not? He's handicapped. Like, so strict. Give me a six-inch window. Come on.
Give me a six-inch meatball. Yeah, give me a... Give me a six-inch. Sub. Sub sandwich. Hoagie. Ten. You can't take their side, Mike. That's your dad. Yeah. Well, no, but... Did you give them the, you know who that doesn't have? No. He's like, me good. Me good? I don't know, man. If I'm in trouble, I'm in trouble. If I parked there, I parked there, you know? Yeah, if you got out and left, you know, if you got out and left and left your car there, yeah, yeah, you get a ticket. You're sitting in your car. Be a human and go, hey, pal, you need to move your ride. Okay. And maybe he was about to pull away, which would maybe explain why he's more than 18 inches from the curb. Yeah, exactly. It's a weak bit, man. At least hand him the ticket if you're going to ticket him. Yeah. Coward. Yeah. 570-1949. That's our number you want to call in. You want to text us, 949mikey at gmail.com. Speaking of talking on the phone, texting, all that stuff. Tweeting and texting, they're saying now, is just as bad as drinking. And they can impair you in the same way. This article that we got says a bunch of teenagers have had their first taste of...
booze way before they turned 21. Woods House? Hey, Wavy. Hey, Wavy. I saw this article. I'm having a cake party. Waverly, Wavy is Sienna's 16-year-old sister. To Woods' defense, you know, she's a pretty girl. I'm a married man. Yeah, yeah. Happily married. Happily married. To a beautiful woman. Yeah. Gorgeous. Stunning. Yeah. Stop Facebooking my sister. Big breasted. I've never written your sister on Facebook. Haven't you? Never once. Maybe happy birthday. But I do that to a lot of people. Happy birthday, Wavy. Sweet 16. Say that's the sweetest of them all. Hey, Wavy, maybe in two years this article will apply to you. But until then, au revoir.
If you need anyone to help you drive, I can teach you. I've got my license now for 20 years. Yeah. I mean, hey, I'm just saying. Experienced. But anyway, what they're asking is they're saying they got a bunch of college chancellors together and asked them, should we lower the drinking age from 21 to 18? They claim underage drinking forces kids to drink subversively and can mystify the behavior. Something tells me you're not on board, Mike, with your voice. Maybe what we should do is that we should lower the age for buying cigarettes. We should lower that to 14 so we can demystify that. But you're an adult. You're an adult at 18. You should be able to make your own decisions. Correct. You can do all kinds of things. You can vote. So you can vote for your president, but you can't have a beer. You're held accountable. Now you're an adult in the court of law. You realize that we used to have the drinking HB-18. I was there. Right. You know why they raised it? Just for no reason. Just because of the conservative. Oh, because there was a couple of accidents. There still are. There still are. Yeah, there still are.
But there were more accidents when the drinking age was lower. See, because when we're 18, man, we're less mature. Oh, and at 21, we're really mature. Well, what do you suggest? We raise it to 25? I just don't think education was there. In Texas, at that point, you could drive with a beer in your car. They'd drive through liquor stores. That didn't make it a good idea. No, but no one was telling us it was a bad idea. There was no education saying, hey, do not drink and drive. There was no seatbelt education. There wasn't drink and driving education. So you're saying that all we've got to do is tell them, and then they won't do it. No. We've just got to educate them. No, dude, but I think kids drink at 18. Like mad men. I did. You did. Everybody in this room did. I can say with. They still do. Yeah. And they still do. They still do. Yeah. And they can go to Iraq, but they can't buy a beer. Yes. That's my old bit. Yes. That makes total sense. It does make sense. It does make sense. Listen, drinking is dangerous. No, it's not. It is not. Drinking and driving is dangerous. Drinking and driving is dangerous. And drinking to excess is dangerous.
Drinking is not dangerous. Drinking irresponsibly. Drinking irresponsibly is dangerous. Drinking and driving is dangerous. We're less immature when we're 18. We're less mature when we're 18. In fact, we're immature when we're 18. And if you let them go buy booze, they're going to buy a whole bunch of it and they're going to die. Well, let's not send our kids off to war then either. If they're not 18, if they're not mature enough to drink, then they're not mature enough to shoot a weapon and kill somebody. So let's make it 25. But the truth of the matter is, they are. So I can operate a weapon maturely. You can kill somebody. I can kill somebody, but I can't have a beer. Yes. Oh, you're out of your mind. It's the truth. It's a true story. At 18, you are capable of shooting a weapon very accurately. At 18, statistically, well, statistically, we were 18. Like, we know what we were like. Right. I was as bad at 18 as I was at 21. Now I was just as bad as I was at 35. Yeah. So wait a minute. The only argument you have for lowering the drinking age to 18 is because that's the age we send people, guys off to war? No, it's the age of consent. You're an adult. You kill somebody, you do something, you are tried as an adult at 18 years old. The definition of adult means grown up. Here's what would happen. I'm going to fast forward the tape on this.
three cases of beer legally and then slaughtered someone's family on some road for us to go oh wow bro it happens every single day i understand but they buy it illegally i understand but if we lowered the drinking age to 18 i'll say it again it would take one 19 year old to legally buy a whole bunch of alcohol and slaughter someone's family For us to go, what were we thinking? Well, by that logic, man, then how many deaths a year from DUI? A bunch, right? Yeah. Why not ban alcohol? Yeah, just get rid of it. Just get rid of it. I mean, it's such a bad thing. It should only take one, not 100,000 deaths. Just ban alcohol. Prohibition again. Because they did that. But again. And that worked. But I don't even have to fight that argument. Why? Because my first argument still holds water. So does mine. They tried prohibition before. Didn't work.
OK, if you lowered the drinking age to 18, like it is in most of the world, besides here, Germany, all of Europe. I mean, you can go to Mexico. You know, I remember going to Cancun, Mexico, being 18 years old and being like, holy crap, I can drink now. Over time, it's going to become less of an issue, I think. Now, do I think there's going to be some accidents? Sure, man. But there's some accidents now. There's a lot of things that go on now illegally. You're all about legality. Make it legal, and it's not that big a deal. All our kids going down to Mexico to go drink because they can drink because they're 18? Going up to Canada? I don't think that we help something by putting bullets in a gun. You never know, man. Well, bullets are going in there anyway. You never know. Why don't we give them the bullets? I mean, listen. The bullets are going in there anyway. Let's give them the bullets. It's the same logic as like... buying your kids beer. Right. Or letting them have parties in your house. They're going to do it. I'm like, how about we be responsible? That's the reason that we raise the age anyway. Sometimes easier said than done. You know? I mean, truly, bro. It's one of those things. In Europe, it's not that big a deal to have a glass of wine when you're 12 years old. There's a lot of things that happen in other countries. Well, right. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. For sure. There's a lot of things that go on here that shouldn't be, too. M1 Chris from Rancho Bernardo. It's great. How's it going? Good.
First, I want to say, Woods, you still need a hitting instructor, and I'll be online if you guys need any help there. You need a what? Hitting instructor. Oh, huge, yeah. No, what I was going to say is I joined the Army at 18. Three weeks after boot camp, they sent me over to Iraq doing that whole thing. I came home, I was a 19-year-old, and they said, yeah, thanks for going over there, sacrificed the whole bit, but you still can't drink. And my thought process was, wait a minute, do you want me to go over and... defend the Constitution, the freedom, the whole bit, but you're not going to let me have a liberty of being able to have a drink or two? Yes. Hey, listen, how about under, okay, let's use the same logic. Maybe we say that you're allowed to go to war when you're 18, but you're telling me I can't come back here and make love to my 16-year-old girlfriend? Yes, that's what we're telling you. That's crazy talk. Both of them are, yes, it is. They're not related.
The two of them aren't related. War and serving your country, they don't have anything to do with alcohol, but we're making it have something to do with alcohol. It's about being an adult. It's about being an adult. That's what I'm making it about. I'm an adult. I should be able to have a beer. I'm an adult. I should be able to have a girlfriend whatever age I want her to be. No, because she's not an adult. Yeah, she's not an adult. Fair enough. If you make the age of an adult 18, she ain't an adult at 16. Them's the rules, man. The age of consent. You guys hear about the guy that urinated in the city water system? Wait till you hear what they had to do. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. Hey, let me tell you, AT&T is doing some good stuff for you right now. As a matter of fact, for a limited time, you can get U-verse TV for only $29 a month. For six months with a DVR included, you can record up to four different shows at once on a single DVR. All you need to do is call 877-ONLY-ATT or you can go into an AT&T store or you can even do it online. It's att.com slash TV. Now remember, the cool thing about this is that if you've got too many shows scheduled at the same time, a lot of times you can't record them all. You can with AT&T U-verse. You can record up to four different shows on a single DVR. That is good stuff.
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He hears adult contemporary hits of the 90s. His monkey business is the official business he conducts with primates. The dinner he made last night was delicious. Ask anyone. Even if he was the only person left on Earth, mankind would still have a chance. He finds squirrels untrustworthy. If he were to say, it's not you, it's me, he'd be lying. He figure skates, and it is glorious. Most interesting man in the world. Don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Enjoy Dos Equis responsibly. Imported by Cervezas Mexicanas, White Plains, New York. Stay thirsty, my friends.
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And I say, twice as fast? Uh, no kidding. Well, hmm. But in my head, I'm going, he shoots, he scores! Then I say, yeah, yeah, but I want something cool. What do you got? And he says, how about the Droid Charge by Samsung, the Thunderbolt by HTC, or the new Revolution by LG? Wow. And now I'm going, go crazy, people! Go crazy! Hurry into Verizon for the best 4G phones on the fastest 4G network. Verizon 4G LTE. Visit any Verizon store today, verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon, built so you can rule the air. Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details at verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE. Hear the authentic surf report daily at 7.30 a.m., 2.15 p.m., and 8.15 p.m. on FM 94.9. Supported by frost-brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. This report, it's brought to you by In-N-Out. No freezers, no microwaves, the way it's always been, always will.
In and out. That's what a hamburger is all about. 78 westbound before the 5. It's an injury accident. That number three lanes blocked. A couple cars involved in this. One car flipped. It landed back on its wheels. They've got an ambulance on the scene. Chula Vista pretty busy here on the 805 northbound before Telegraph Canyon Road. Car spun out. Then it clipped another car. Now one of these cars is going the wrong way in the center divider. Also in Chula Vista on the 5 southbound before E Street. Watch out. There's a motorhome that's partially blocking lanes. This report brought to you by... Wawanesa Insurance. Wawanesa Insurance. Better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto, home, or condo. Call 877-WA-WANESA. You can always go to wawanesaus.com. Rate shopping, it can pay off. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. I'm Sir Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Wednesday morning. Being brought to you by Frostbrood Coors Light. San Diego. Best beer you can get. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. So far today, looking again, kind of small on the weaker side with that little bit of a west-north-west wind, ground swell out in the water there, and a little bit more dominance out of that southwest direction. Nothing really has changed size-wise, just kind of pulsing in that ankle-knee, waist-high zone. Up to chest height, the standout spots, again, facing that south swell direction. Beach break's soft, broken up, but most rideable. Reef break's pretty weak right now as well.
Tides low this morning, not that negative we've been seeing, so it isn't having as much of a major effect as it has been, but still definitely causing some of those waves to be a little bit smaller and more broken up. As it fills in throughout the morning, beach breaks will be your better bet. Fairly clean right now, lighter overcast. Looks like we could have a possibly earlier clearing day and some warmer air temperatures to go along with some water temp that's finally slowly but surely warming up too. So just kind of another little summer morning for you. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfglide.com, and the Authentic Surf Report can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. With Mikey. I'm extraordinarily weird. Lauren. I want the awesomeness of the iPhone that you've been talking about. I don't want some dumbed-down version of it. Woods. I have one wish. I wish I wasn't so fast. Yeah, I would say I'm obsessed with Sage. Yeah, I'm obsessed. You are. And Jay. I love to look, but I just don't like it. On FM 94.9. Hear about the guy that went into the city's water supply? I'll tell you all about it. We will be playing the audio of us at the fair yesterday at 8 a.m. Jay has on protection goggles and his lab coat. And so we're going to be doing Jay, the old man that does science, in just a second.
Why do I feel like we should have the air conditioner on to blow out smoke or something? You know? I'm just, it worries me. I feel something. I'm really nervous for today. Me too. It's going to be a big one. Oh, man. Oh, my God. I'm scared. I'm scared. I mean it, I'm scared. I've gone easy on you for a while. You have. There hasn't been a big explosion. There's just been some, you know, oohs and aahs. But we haven't had any big explosions for a while. I've been saving it. Let's see. I'm trying to find my old man that does science. Got it. Mike, I had to find plutonium for this one. And I found it. Oh, my gosh. Dynamite. Dynamite. TNT. Okay, so we'll do that here in just a minute. Sienna, tell me about this guy that urinated in the water. Oh, you know, just 21-year-old Josh.
He lives in Portland, Oregon, and he had been out drinking with some friends. You know what happens when you drink a lot? Yes. You pee a lot. Yes. And he felt that the reservoir, the city reservoir, was a good place to release his urine. Sure. He didn't know that there were security cameras set up. So because he was caught on camera, I mean, he said he knew what he did was wrong. He thought, however, the reservoir was a sewage treatment plant. And so it was just sewage. It wasn't, you know. Right. Well, the city had to basically pour down the drain 8 million gallons of treated drinking water. Oh, wow. 8 million gallons. You silly sausage. Yeah. Can't they just put something in there to make it okay? Right. And people are saying that that was ridiculous because there's animals in there that poop all the time. They die in there. It's a wide open thing with God knows what falling in there. Right. So it was a little unnecessary, but they're like, look, we didn't want hundreds of people saying they're drinking pee water. Yeah. Personally, I don't care. If you put something in there, they'll make it drinkable. Yeah.
I don't care either. If I don't know about it, it didn't happen. Just don't tell me. Just don't tell me. I don't know. Just fix it up and don't tell me about it. Just drop in the bucket. Literally. M1 Lisa from Lakeside. Are you there? Yes. What was the word of the day? Conditioner. That's right. Woo! Missed it. I said air conditioner. Oh, look at you. That's right. That was brilliant. You slid. She caught it. She's good. You are good. Lisa, will you be able to get yourself to Phoenix and get yourself a place to stay if we give you tickets to the Jeff Bridges concert that's sold out? Yes. You are on, sister. Yeah. We will see you there. See you there, little angel. Yeah. With your wives. Oh, yeah. Not a guy's trip. Oops. Oh, boy. Oh, no, no, no, no. So scared. Jay's the old man who does science. Oh, wow. Jay always damn good. He's the old man with technology. He does an Irish jig. I'm the old man who does science. Woods is coming to my side of the board. He blinded me with science, but he failed in biology. That is not a good sign.
Chris is putting in ear protection. Oh, no. Come on. Okay, now, wait a minute, Jay. Okay. We need to talk. Yes, it's true. We do. We need to talk because if this is loud, I need to figure out for me, for the listeners, for everybody, how loud to have that microphone. And you got to tell us what's going on. It's going to be really loud. Okay. What I've built is, and I've actually built two of them. This is a small one. We'll start small. Okay. It's a tennis ball cannon. So basically what I've taken is a piece of PVC, a piece of PVC, and I've taken a container and I've drilled holes. It's like a pill container. Drilled holes in it in the top, taped it on with duct tape, and then drilled a small pilot hole in the side. Okay. Then I'm putting an accelerant in the bottom. An accelerant. Yeah. Okay. And I'm adding... I don't want to tell you what it is. I don't want to know. I'm going to put a little bit of this in there. When do I cover my ears? Do we cover? Yeah, when do we cover our ears? I've got to wait a second here and let it build up. I'm going to fill this whole chamber full of gas right here. Ideally. Hopefully it works. Give it a second. All right. Oh, no. Oh, gosh. It's a big, clear pipe. So now... Oh, gosh. He scares me.
I should be. He's going to light it. He's going to light it. He's lighting it. He's lighting it. Hold on. Got to do it one more time. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. I'm so nervous. I am, too. I can't hear it in there. Is something going to shoot out of this? I don't know what's going to happen. He's pouring a liquid into the bottom of the clear plastic tube. Lighting it. And then he's going to light it. Oh, gosh. Here we go. Oh, gosh. Oh, Jay is so crazy. Here we go. Getting it all built up real good here. Oh, God. Come on, little fella. Please work. I'm terrified. Abort. Abort. I'm terrified. Here we go. He's lighting it. Stop it. I'm going to try again. If this one doesn't work with you. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. So that was a small one. Oh, yes. Yeah. It had a cannonball in it. So you can see the cannonball. Now you can see a little bit better with this one. The cannonball is right here at the end, which is really a tennis ball. Everybody's standing behind me, by the way. And this one I built out of a tennis ball container. And then I took a Coke can and I drilled a hole. And same thing. It's got a hole in the top and I taped it on. Now, I just want to let you know. Chris, our phone screener, is filming this with a flip camera. He's got on ear protection, and he's standing behind a wall and filming it. Jay is pouring liquid into the bottom of a... You're shaking. You're shaking. Okay. Jay's shaking. So same thing. Letting the gas build up needs about 30 seconds. This is the one that, when it went off, it flew out of my hands yesterday. Oh, wow.
The neighbor down the street, it was so loud. He held his heart. So people need to know that there's going to be a loud noise right now. And we're filming this. No, no. Here we go. No. Here we go. I'm a little afraid. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It's like a gunshot. Oh, my gosh. What flew out? Tennis ball. And a can flew over there in the trash. Oh, it stinks. Shut the door. Shut the door. Shut the door. Shut the door. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow. He's the old man who does science. He's the old man with technology. Oh, he is scary. The old man who does science. The old man with technology. He blinded me with science, but he failed in biology. We should change that to, he deafened me with science. Holy cow. How about he gave me a heart attack with science? He killed me with science. Oh my gosh. He scares me so bad. He has those safety goggles. I see those safety goggles and I start shaking. I know. Wait till you see the video. It's a...
It's crazy. It's crazy and it makes me very, very nervous. All right. 5701949 and we will be putting this video online very soon. Tell me about the penguin that took the wrong turn, Sienna. Well, this penguin was young, about 10 months old, and headed to Antarctica, but made a wrong turn and went an extra 2,000 miles to New Zealand. Now, New Zealand usually doesn't see penguins. In fact, it's been 44 years since one was found in New Zealand. Wow. So it's a big surprise. But it's in good health and cruising the beach of Pekka Pekka Beach. We actually have the penguin with us right now, and we will talk to the penguin now. He's in the studio with us. The penguin is actually in the studio with us. Hi, penguin. Hello. You took a wrong turn, right? Yes, I did. And you ended up in New Zealand. Pekka Pekka, I believe. Pekka Pekka Beach. Pekka Pekka Beach, yes. That's what it was. Okay, so you, I'm guessing, were from India? Oh, yes, very much. Thank you. You were an Indian penguin. Oh, an Indian penguin. What?
Say that again. You're a what? I'm an England pinglin. You're an England pinglin. Yes. He's trying to say penguin. It's very hard with the accent. I know, I know. So you're what now? Say it again. An England pinglin. England pinglin. Yes. I'm surprised you can't understand. You're about the same size as me. I thought you were an emperor penguin. Yes, that's my technical name. Don't told me to that. Don't told me to that. And so how did you get lost? Well, I think it was a curry that I be eating. That I be eating. So you're an Irish Indian penguin? Jamaican. Jamaican penguin? Yeah, man. I can be doing that too. Thank you, Lord. Thank you so much. For Jay Isbell. Thank you. Search me. Well, thank you for joining us, English penguin. It's so nice to have been having you with me. Isolate. Oh, my gosh. He's the greatest. Clip of the day, perhaps? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. I'm going to pull the curtain back. Yes, please. Sienna told me that story early this morning, and I said, let's do this. When Jay comes into the studio, we're going to tell him that at some point this morning, we're going to tell a story, and I'm going to interview you, and you're going to be that.
that story you'll know because i'll say let's talk to him and i said and you need to come up with the voice for that character he had no idea he had no idea what it was going to be until this moment brilliant till this moment and so when he realized that he was a penguin what came out was oh well hello i am a penguin An Anglin Pinglin. An Anglin Pinglin. I said, you're from India. Yes, that's right. I'm an Anglin Pinglin. It's the accent man. Man. On top of the morning, sir. I think we're going to need to continue doing that. Yes. Every day. The J story of the day. Yeah. The story of the J. The story of the J. We've got to do a story of the J. And we'll go to him every day and we don't know what it'll be, but he has to just do it. Oh, I love it. I love it. Why he hasn't been doing voices since the first day of our show is beyond me. I have no idea. We didn't know. It's gold. Paris Hilton, who I think is a very, very pretty girl, has broken up with her boyfriend.
No, this was the boyfriend she said was the one. He read your text messages. It's a little bit, you don't like that, do you? I don't think anyone likes that to happen. No, to be looking through your stuff? All right, here's the question I want to ask. Tell me that you dumped her. We're not together anymore. Go ahead. I bet he dumped her. What do you think? Fair statement. You think she dumped him? Yeah, I do. Naturally. I think it's the other way around. Give me your theory. She dumped him because she's like, you're jealous, and you just can't be doing that, and nothing happened, and I just want out. Like, you're a psychopath. And here's my deal. I don't need that. My deal is he's like, how many things am I going to have to find on her cell phone that she's cheating on me? You love him, but also you love to live life. You're spontaneous. You love to party.
You love to have sex with all kinds of different guys, man. You like to make sex tapes. Yeah, you like to, you know, be with 50 guys while you have a boyfriend. Did I tell you that I'm Mexican, by the way? That's right. Hey, you know what's crazy about white girls that break up with guys when they are on a Mexican show? Everything has to come back to me being a Mexican. Of course. It's crazy. You see me, I'm a host and I'm a Mexican. I'm a talk show. That's right. You ever been a Mexican and had a talk show? You know what's crazy about being a Mexican with a talk show, man? Being Mexican. And having a talk show? You know what's crazy about talking to a white girl when you're Mexican? This one time, a Mexican had a talk show and he was talking to Paris Hilton. This is a joke. You know a lot of guys. Right? It's not about that. It's just... I don't know. I just feel like the relationship ran its course and we'll see what happens. No, but you just want somebody you can have fun with and go out and not be somebody looking through your phone. Right? Hitting on her? Don't you wait. You want like a guy like a Mexican. You need a Mexican. Yeah, that won't get mad if you have, like if you're in a committed relationship and you still want to have sex with other guys. That's what you want.
I know this vato named George Lopez. It's just like that, man. You ought to go out with that guy. Let me ask you a question, Paris Hilton. Can I talk to you for a minute? Okay. Have you ever been to a Mexican's house that has, like, no problems with you being with other guys? I don't know any Mexicans. You do now. I guess I kind of know you. You ever been on a lowrider? I'm just saying that because I'm Mexican. No. Have you ever been to, like, a quinceañera? A what? Quinceanera. I've been to El Partal. Yeah, it's like a Mexican restaurant? Yeah. Have you ever eaten a goat? Like in a tortilla? That's disgusting. It's a joke, man. Freaking laugh. What if you were having sex with a bunch of different dudes, but one Mexican guy was okay with it making you a goat head burrito? My gorgeous. Would that be alright? Come on, man.
Us getting Asian massages yesterday. That's a true story. Except for Jay. Yeah. It was a mistake. Yes. You hate Jay. You know, I love Jay. Mike, you owe me $10. Yeah. I'm taking it in cash. You're going to hear our audio from the fair next. Be a part of the Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up. Are you sure this thing is some sort of... On FM 94.9. When you choose a great tasting Miller Lite, you're choosing on taste. And that's the right choice, not the wrong choice. Because right is way better than wrong. You don't try to do the wrong thing. Wrong on, brother? Back off, and I don't even know you. If someone asks you if everything's all wrong, ask them to pull your finger. Ever read the Bill of Wrongs?
It was written by James Battison and John Sadams. Drawing a wrong triangle? Place this protractor at 90 degrees and sit on it. What's wrong around the corner? An 8-foot ex-con named Tiny and he wants your wallet. That's wrong up your alley. Just like the drifter feeding moldy muffin stumps to his 13 hairless cats. Got a wrong hand man? I've got a cousin named Randall with clammy hands. The customer's always wrong? Well, that explains the waiter's creepy grin as I ate my toast. Two wrongs do make a wrong. Am I wrong? Wrong. So don't make the wrong choice. Make the right choice. And choose on taste. Triple Hops Brewed Miller Lite. Taste greatness. Miller Brewing Company. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Great beer. Great responsibility. Hey, gang. It's your old pal. It's your old pal, Woodsy, for one of my favorite places in the world, Denny's. Okay? Yeah. Give it up for Denny's. Denny's is delicious. They have a new limited time menu offered until August 29th. Okay? And it's called the Tour of America. And it is for you to feast. And they have six new dishes that they are doing. They have the Midwestern meat and potato sandwich. Delicious. The Denny's Philly cheesesteak omelet.
That makes my mouth water. Absolutely. For the Tommy Bahama fan and you, Mikey, the Denny's Hawaiian Tropical Pancakes. Two macadamia nut pancakes with coconut whipped topping. Yeah, this is Woods. Hi, Mikey. You love Tommy Bahama and you love Hawaiian Tropical Pancakes. I do like that. Yes, I know you do. Hey, I'm all the way in on the tour of America. It is your old pal, Woodsy. You can only get this menu until August 29th. Yes. Hang on a second. Hang on. She wants to talk to her old pal. Hang on a minute. Is this my old pal? This is your old pal, Woodsy. How are you? You need to get to Denny's, Sienna, because you can get a Florida orange milkshake. You can get a Northwest iced coffee or the Hawaiian tropical smoothie. Listen, go to Denny's for the Tour of America. Tell him your old pal, Woodsy, sent you. Bye, old pal. Bye.
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This summer, the Miller Lite Guards are saving men from making the unmanly choice of drinking light beer with less taste. How? With great-tasting Miller Lite, TastePoints, and awesome summer discounts. So man up at TastePoints.com today. Open only to legal California residents 21 or older. Void will prohibit. Limited-time promotion will offer begins 5-1-11 and then 7-30-1-11. Full terms and conditions at TastePoints.com. Miller Lite Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Great beer, great responsibility. Okay, honey, I booked a great hotel on Expedia and we got a $50 prepaid MasterCard gas card. $50? Woo-hoo! See if the neighbors can beat that. $50 in gas. How you like me now, Henderson? Yeah, well, blow your lawn. Oh, you should, hon. Get a $50 prepaid MasterCard gas card when you book with your MasterCard during Expedia's My Summer is Better Than Your Summer Sale. Where you book matters. Expedia. Minimum stay required and subject to availability. Book by July 4th. Travel by August 31st. Terms and restrictions apply. See site for full details. This report is brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners. San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. Heading into Fallbrook South Mission Road at West Fallbrook Street, there is a two-car crash on the right shoulder. Encinitas, the five southbound before Birmingham Drive. Careful, several piles of rope between the number three and four lane. And on the 78 westbound before...
We had a bad accident there earlier. They have cleared that, so you should be able to get through. This report also brought to you by McDonald's. 42-ounce soft drinks are only 79 cents at McDonald's for a limited time. Choose from a variety of icy cold soft drinks, and now many McDonald's are open 24 hours. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZZ San Diego. Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. Because I'm tiny. Lauren. I like fried chicken. Woods. I am real talented, but I'm not stupid. Sienna. Every time I go to the grocery store, I know someone practically in every aisle. And Jay. I could teach you how to do it in five minutes. On FM 94.9. I love this radio station. Listen to this. Thursday. That's tomorrow. Attack of the retweets starts right when we end our show at 10. Now, it's going to go on tomorrow from 10 to 8. We are going to be giving away tickets to the following mails. L.A. Rising, Rage Against the Machine, Muse, The Foo Fighters, Perfect Circle, Sia, The Kills, Duck Cab for Cutie, Peter, Bjorn, and John. We're going to be giving away CDs and gift cards. This is again happening tomorrow, right when our show ends at 10, all the way until 8 o'clock.
It's called Attack of the Retweets. The only way that you can win this is you've got to follow us on Twitter. Twitter.com slash FM949SD. It's rad. Hey, Garrett, our program director, who's your favorite band on there? Muse! Who? Have we ever got Garrett to actually say Muse? It's like our go-to band when we imitate our program director, Garrett. He said it when you filled in, but he went, Mews. He wouldn't play along? No. That's Mews. Dang it. Mews! Mews! I see him in his office. Mews! Garrett. In his sleep. Mews! Mews! Speaking of that, okay, so we went to the fair yesterday. And while we were out there, we decided that we wanted to...
Get massages. Okay, so how much is it? How much is that? You hold on. It's 10, 15, 20, 30. Okay, what about 10 minutes? 10 minutes is $13. $13. Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to get a massage for me and him and her and her. Okay. I didn't see Jay. I didn't see Jay. That's weird. I didn't. CJ. In between me and CNN. Right between. You went her and her, but not in this area right here in between them. He was on my shoulders. And I even said, oh, happy birthday. He was actually on a unicycle juggling flaming balls. We were giving him a queen ride and hoisting him up in the air. Hooray for Jay. Blanket. Typical Tuesday. Now,
I was trying to negotiate. Yes. The deal is it was $13 for 10 minutes. 10 minute. 10 minute. And I figured because I was giving them bulk with four people. Woods. And yourself. Ouch. Put it on team. I'm going to knock it out. Set it up. You set it up, buddy. I was trying to negotiate. 10 minutes. How much? Can you give us a discount? What have you given? How about $10 a piece? 10, 20, 30, 40, $40. You can hear me in the background. Yeah, but I'll do all four of them. One, two, three, four. And then for $40, will you do it for $40? But will you do a deal for 10 minutes? It's 13 minutes.
Then he started to do this thing where he was like, but. You see this menu I just gave you? Exact same thing it says. With no discount. Zero group discount. Don't. Because it's people that I've given you the price listed. You promise not to tell? What if we do 10 minutes, $10? $10. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's giving me again. He pointed at $13 and went. Weird thing is he put his index finger to my leg. That was very weird. I was wondering what was going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. So now we sit down.
Now, these are those sit-down deals with a donut. Woods. Woods. And you put your face in the donut. They put the little paper. You put your face in the donut. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. I think I'd feel better with my shirt off. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That was the greatest thing I'd ever heard. We're outside. Like, anyone walking by at the fair game. People are walking by watching. Just looking at us. Yeah. They do. I think it would be better. Should I take it off? Yeah. No. The guy goes, no. Should I take off my shirt? No. Now, do you hear every once in a while you hear video? Do you hear that? They were looking at my recording device. And they wanted to know, what's going on here? And they kept saying, video. And then they tapped it. And I said, oh, it's just a recording. Oh, okay. Oh, it's for the radio, guys. Don't worry. Yeah, it's the radio. Yeah. Don't worry. We're not vice. We're not vice.
I thought maybe he was worried. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe, you know, we're going to bust the place. So do what you will. Do whatever you like. Take your shirt off and be better. Jay. Jay. Yeah, go ahead. I hope those things are going great. Your massages. While we were all getting a massage, I was like, Jay, do you mind watching Sage for a minute? Yeah. I was right there. Oh, my gosh. Jay had to babysit. Happy birthday. I'm sorry. I love it. How come it doesn't sound creepy if I say it? You guys seen Super 8? I'm not lost. You guys Abrams guys? JJ Abrams. They didn't answer one question. No. And they were just absolutely inundated with question after question. We're trying to make small talk. Right. You guys never lost anybody doing this, right? Take off your shirt.
I only say you never lost anybody doing this because they were putting their elbows in there so good. Oh, yeah. It was very deep tissue. The little guy that did mine was very demure. He was. He had a very dainty and demure hand, but he was digging in. He was. Oh, yeah. Indian rug burns? Yeah. I think he was mad. How about yours, L.O.B.? Oh, yeah. At one point, I was like, he might break a bone. Yeah. But it hurt so good. It hurt so good. My guy's name was Chad. My guy's name was Barry. L.O.B.'s like, that's strange. My guy's name was Nguyen. Yeah. He had a name telling us. Chad. When they were doing your butt. That's a true story. When they were doing your butt, I was like, oh my God. Yeah. They're pounding on him. They did. They took their fists to my buttocks. They did something different to mine. Yeah, they did. They did?
They didn't pound like this? Oh, really? They were kneading it. Like dough. Like tortillas. Yeah, tortillas. Like they were making tortillas. Yeah. Oh, how weird. Let me tell you. If you go to the fair and you pass the Asian massage thing, do it. Yes. Do it. Outstanding. It was great. Ask for Chad. Barry. Barry or Nguyen. Pete. I'll have to stop back by there. I'm sorry. And what about Adam? Adam, our promotion director, was there too. Yeah, Mackie, how come you didn't give him a gift? You know, Mack, it's improper. He held my sunglasses. Yep. Bunch of divas up there getting massages. I simply wanted to get audio, you know? I'm sorry. I apologize. Come back, Jay. Come on.
You should just give Jay a massage off the air later. He's just being here. He's working. You can just give me the money. I'll just take the 10. I'll pay for Jasper's food for the rest of the year. It's I-S-B-E-L. If you're going to write it. Check. Check. Me for $13. 10. Right. Not the negotiated price. Plus you put in tip. You put in a tip. So I won't. a little taste of that. I'd like it. I'd like to wet my beak. So 15 is there. 17. Just call it 15. Call it 19. 19? What do you want 25 for? The five least romantic keys to a happy relationship. What does that mean? And is that a J idea? There's one. My key. There's one, my key. You. Get in the mirror, fatty. Here's an idea for an unhappy relationship. Date that fat ass. He's been sitting on that one for a week. Here's Jay tonight. Dear diary. I'm sorry that I am still writing my diary on a stone tablet. Dear diary. I hate you.
Did not get me a message. I'll get him back. Tomorrow, I have made it to where he's supposed to talk about relationships. And as soon as he says the key to unhappy relationships, I will say, be with him. Jay. What is this? This is the five least romantic keys to a happy relationship. So what does this mean? It means that if you do these things, oh my gosh. Well, dude, you know him and his ideas for meetings. Yeah. Hey, who's the best grandmother you ever had kick over and die? What was her name?
What's she look like? Cup size? The whole thing. I want the whole thing. It means that's five ways to kill the romance. We'll get listeners to call in with their best dead grandma story. Yeah, Mike. Hey, Mike, what about your funniest kidnapping? What about surgeries that you thought you were under, but you really weren't and you felt everything? How about that? We'll take those calls. We'll call it awake surgeries. That's good. This is the list that Jay gave me. True story. If you would like to have a less romantic relationship, number five, spend less time together. Number four, sleep apart. Number three, marry an ugly, stupid man. Sound familiar? Becca, have you seen this? Yeah. Cannot wait till he gets.
to number three. Because when he does, I'll take a pregnant pause and then go, hmm? Sound familiar? Dear, my plan to dethrone Mikey is still on. I have found The best way to get his goat is to come up with a list that pertains to him. Ha, ha, ha. We love J. Operation.
Take over in full effect. Number two. By the way, this is the list Jay gave us today for the five ways to keep a less romantic relationship. Number two. Lie to yourself. Isn't that what you do every day, Mikey, when you think you're good looking? You gotta be used to that. I thought you didn't lie, Mike. Hey, Mike. I know you don't lie, but how does it make you feel that your poor wife has to? Every day. You ought to get yourself a bracelet that says be truthful. That's right. Every day she wakes up and has to say, still loving. I love you, honey. Lie. Lie. Number one. This is Jay's.
Number one way to have a less romantic relationship, schedule sex. If there's anything that soap operas have taught us, besides the fact that there's a 75% chance that everyone in the world has an evil twin somewhere, it's that spontaneous sex is the true mark of a couple in love. So if you'd like a less... romantic relationship, spontaneous sex, but schedule it. Thank you, Jay. You know, Kim will often schedule sex, but in the calendar, it just says all afternoon. It says from noon to seven. She's got to block out a whole day. Online, she checks all day events. Mikey, my guess is Rebecca's calendar looks pretty full when you go to schedule. Oh, got to clip my nails, huh? Washing your hair again. How come you're washing the dishes 17 times a day, babe? Not married to Jay, huh? Well, here's today's texts. Oh, really? Hey, guys. Hope this is the first text of the day on the new Jay Show. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's a funny joke for Mikey.
Doesn't strike any chord. Doesn't really hit home. Right. This one says, make sure to make plenty of jokes that will kick him in the balls. Please talk about B-Rob, Ashley, Eddie, and Sky at all possible chances. Just so that Mike gets to experience it all over again. Anything you can compare to Julius Caesar. Wear a t-shirt that says December 17th is my favorite day of the year. This one says, Mikey J creeps the boogeyman out. That's M1 Sanjaya. Oh, thank you. And M1 Castillo wrote in from his Blackberry and said, another reason.
Another reason why Jay is perfect. Why Jay, I'm sure. Jay clearly types this out. People make mistakes. Another reason why Jay is perfect. Love me some Jay. That's all the text says. Another reason? What's the reason? Just another reason. Number one, Castillo. Smells kind of fishy. I'll say. Thank you, Jay. You're welcome. Thank you for the text messages. Nothing about us or funny bits that we did. So the average person has never met a certain percentage of their friends on Facebook. What would you think that percentage is? Most people, I would think, would think it's very low. If they're your friend on Facebook. 2%, 1%. When we come back. I will give you the figure. I also have some of the best YouTube farts and snores. You promise? And we'll play them for you. Next. This is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9.
Hey, it's Hillary with some shows for you to go check out. Ockerville River are playing with Titus Andronicus this Friday night, the 24th. That show is at the Belly Up. Anya Marina plays the Casbah July 7th. A Perfect Circle hit the Open Air Theater July 26th. And on July 29th, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club will play at the Del Mar Racetrack for a 4 o'clock Friday. The next FM 94.9 about the music show is August 2nd at the Belly Up for $6 with... The Bell Brigade. And there's a ton of good shows still to come, like The Kills, TV on the Radio, Two Door Cinema Club, The Naked and Famous, The Foo Fighters, and The Damned. There you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at fm949sd.com. Whoever said nothing in life is free obviously hasn't heard about the great offer from Cricket Wireless. Get a free Android-powered smartphone with no contract when you switch to Cricket and turn in a competitor's phone. With a brilliant touchscreen display, innovative camera camcorder, and cool Android apps, the Ascend is a truly smart smartphone absolutely free. Plus, it's yours now with our great smartphone rate of just $55 a month, including unlimited nationwide talk,
So smart, so Cricut. Requires no activation. Trading phone must be in working order and be assigned to the ported number. See store for details. Data usage is subject to Cricket's fair use policy. Coverage not available everywhere. Terms and restrictions apply. If you're with T-Mobile, you may be getting traded. Turn the tables. Make a switch of your own to Cricket and regain control of your wireless service with great rates, powerful smartphones, all with no contract. I say now's the time. If you've never done it before, now is the time. Give AIS a call, the auto insurance specialist. Don't put it off any longer. Pick up your telephone and call 1-800-777-4AIS. Hey, Mikey, it's your old pal Woodsy. Hi, old pal. I did it. You did? I signed up. I'm an AIS. I think we save $600 a year. Holy cow. That's a lot of scratch. The average person saves $500 a year. Woodsy saved $100 more than the average person. I saved $1,400 more than the average person. I saved $1,600 a year. You can too.
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A new year, a new level of innovation from Mercedes-Benz. Available only to qualified customers exclusively through Mercedes-Benz Financial Services and participating dealers through June 30, 2011. Call 1-800-FOR-MERCEDES for offer details. See your Mercedes-Benz dealer of San Diego County. Visit Hohen Motors in Carlsbad, Mercedes-Benz of Escondido, and Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. He holds a shell up to his ear. He hears adult contemporary hits of the 90s. His monkey business is the official business he conducts with primates. The dinner he made last night was delicious. Ask anyone. Even if he was the only person left on Earth, mankind would still have a chance. He finds squirrels untrustworthy. If he were to say, it's not you, it's me, he'd be lying. He figure skates. And it is glorious. Most interesting man in the world. I don't always drink beer. But when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.
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This report is brought to you by IHOP. A good meal makes your whole day like IHOP's thick, juicy bacon and beef burgers with hickory smoked bacon blended right into the beef for delicious bacon flavor in every bite. It's a great way to make it an IHOP day. Looks like a lot of congestion this morning. Carlsbad on the 5 southbound between Tamarack Avenue, Loma, Santa Fe Drive. It is stop and go there right now. Also, the 15 northbound ramp to the 8 eastbound. There's an accident. A car hit the center divider, hit a sign, and then struck another car underneath. it. You're going to find a backup on the 805 northbound between Murray Ridge Road and Claremont Mesa Boulevard. We've got speeds in the teens there. This report brought to you by SeaWorld San Diego. Experience the amazing world of sea turtles at Turtle Reef, the all new interactive attraction that includes a motion controlled video game. Ride a whole lot more. Turtle Reef is now open only at SeaWorld. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I wouldn't like it. I'm not very attractive. Lauren. When I was in college, that was like my M.O. I would get drunk and steal random stuff. Woods. Oh, I want filth. I want straight filth as filthy as it can get. Sienna. Mine are always crying. I'm a crier. And Jay. I have a pond. I built a pond in my yard. On FM 94.9. Tonight's 8 o'clock album. Radiohead. Hear it. OK Computer. Oh.
So we have YouTube snores and farts coming up in just a second. The average person has never met 7% of their Facebook friends. 7%. Isn't that strange? Not to me, it's not. No? Because I've never met. Well, we're not the average person. I mean, the average person you would think would know their friends because they're... Yeah. Sometimes friends of friends will hit you up and, you know. Yeah. They've heard a lot about you. Oh, boy. Sometimes friends of friends. Yeah. Sometimes like siblings. Like my 16-year-old sister, Wavy, was. Yeah, like, yeah, I hit her up. I was just, like, trying to see, like, what's up. Sometimes I'm just a friend of your sister. I'm not trying to be, you know. Weird. Like, hey, I know your sister. I work with her. I just was saying, like, friend. I haven't met you yet, but I mean, I just.
It seemed like if your sister's cool, you'd be cool. I'd bet her. I just thought because, you know, like, because I know your sister, like, we should probably be friends on Facebook. I friend requested your mom, too. It's not weird. Yeah. It's not weird. You know how it would be weird is if you were, like, 15. But wait, I did when you were 15. So wait. Wait, wait, wait. I mean, no. Gosh. I know this sounds so weird. I just feel like I know you because I hear about you, like, all the time from Sienna. I meant if you were 14, because then you'd still be in eighth grade, but you're not. You know, you're a sophomore, so. Yeah, so, hey, by the way, if you ever need a ride to a concert, I like shows, do you? I can get us tickets. Or I don't have to, like, if shows are lame. I don't like them. Do you like them? What do you think of them, anyway? I'm on the fence. I'm on the fence, pretty much. But I can be really excited. Like, sometimes I hate them, and sometimes I like them. What about movies? I can see rated R movies and I can buy you chickens. Yeah, you know, like, I could get somebody into one. Yeah. But, like, I don't, not asking, just saying. I can take you and your friends, even. It doesn't have to be just us. Or not your friends. Or if it's cool to just go alone, we can do it. Because it's not weird. I know your sister. Yeah. Exclamation point. LOL.
Or if that's not cool, L-M-A-O. Or H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A- Oh, my God. I'm not doing this point now. I'm going to make him look at this. Creep. One time Woods was looking at pictures of Jay's oldest daughter. And from afar, Woods showed Jay. Hey, check this out. Because she was in a bathing suit. Jay came running in. And what did he say again, Woods? Oh, he looked right at the screen. He goes, no. Maybe. Yes, he did. Maybe he did for a minute. Then he realized it was his daughter, Maddie. And scream. Yeah. How about you don't look at pictures of my daughter? It came up in my newsfeed. I went, those are cool pictures. And I went, oh, wow. And then he ran and goes. Because that's your bit. You always go look at a point of the picture and tell me to come in. Gross, gross. He did. He did. He did. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. Why are you friends with my daughter?
We're all friends. We're all family. Maddie, and we have you. Yeah, I'm friends with Luke. Yes, I am. Luke, Sienna's mom, and Seth, little angel. Mike's wife, Rebecca. Oh, yeah. Don't try to creep your way out of this, Jay. Nita, you're friends with Nita. Nita, as are you. Nita, you're a Hungarian nanny. You are too, Jay. I'm not the only one. Your friends are the two. Hey, baby, I know Hungarians. I know people from other countries. If you ever wanted to meet him. I know Trevor Hoffman. Do you know who that is? If you don't care, it doesn't matter. If you don't know who that is, I don't know him. If you wanted to know him, though. I play baseball. You offended it too, Jay. Nope. Why do I sound like Edward Furlong? Yeah. It was a creep. Jay. He ran in here too. He did. The door came flying open. He screamed. When he realized it was his daughter Maddie, he goes, Oh!
And then he threw his back out. Yeah, he did. I hurt myself. I forgot about my back. I just almost thought about it. No. I just fantasized about blood. Help me. Mikey's there, guys. Do it. Exercise. Clean my mind. Mikey. Mikey, perform an exercise. Do it. Get back to my soul. You lay your hands on me right now. Lay your hands on me, man. Give me some rosary bleeds. It bleeds. Give me some rosemary prayers. Oh, my God. Let's get back to waving. I'll say three Peter Paul Marys. I'll do it. I'll do it. Ouch.
I swear. Ouch. Woods, don't you ever show me a picture of my hot daughter again? Woods, listen to me. If you ever turn me on from my own kin ever again. My kin. I'm not kidding. I key. I key. If anyone that has my DNA turns me on, you're fucked. If you ever. Turn me on with one of my own siblings. Oh, boy. I hate you all. Oh, Jay, that was a beating. Okay, so I took to YouTube and I got me some dandies. This is somebody asleep but passing gas. We got to save it. My stomach hurts. I don't have like... And laughing energy left. My face. It's like a duck stuck in a box. Oh, that's so great. A duck stuck in a box. It woke the person up. Now, this one's great. This is a couple of brothers playing around. And in the midst of playing around, you know.
When you're excited and you're wrestling. Relax. Is that a dragon? Yeah. Now, this next thing is a snore. And the reason that I loved it as much as I did is because it's what I call the squeaker. I don't know if you've ever heard a snoring person that sounds like a squeaker, but I just want you to get an image of this guy. He's a sort of pasty white guy, no shirt, laying in his bed, mouth open, and this. Oh my gosh. Scoot diving? What the hell? Mockingbird. He just wrecked his scooter. Lord. Oh my gosh.
It sounded like a chew toy that was dying. I know it. I got to hear that first one again. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sounds familiar. I grew up with brothers and I, at one point, we would have to share a room. Yeah. My husband. At least three times an hour. Yep. My brother, my brother Steve was always great because he would get like serious mad. If somebody else. Yeah. He would get seriously. Kind of like I do. Like you do. Yes. Like, knock it off. Come on, dude. I'm not kidding. I'm serious. It's so rude. That's like unsanitary. It's unsanitary. It's disgusting. It stinks. It's so weak. I don't want to smell that. I don't want to smell your poo, Woods. I hear that once a week.
Well, I don't. You know, I'll pull the curtain back for a second if I may. Oh no, oh no, oh no. We were in the bathroom the other day, Mike and I, and Mike was going number one in the stall. I was going number one at the urinal. You probably should run this by me before. Oh, you think? Well, you yelled at me for doing that. No, no, no, no. I'm saying run this by me because we may get into territory. Oh, we won't. I did that what you just played. Oh, okay. All right. What? What? Tell me and then I'll just... Yes. Remember when you yelled at me? You're now continuing. Oh, I thought you meant tell me now. I thought you meant spider. I thought you said I was okay if I told you now. No. I don't want to get us in trouble. You have to be careful with the bathroom language. Yes. I know. But... But... But you just... You know. Here.
Blue eyes. Blue eyes. Didn't work. Okay. Does that make sense? Sure. Let's hear the duck in a box again. You okay now? Actually, Mike, what you have is not no. Yeah, exactly. Kind of giving him. So that means it's all good. I guess if I wanted him to not, if I want to draw something with a circle and a line through it, I should probably put the word yes. Micro no, circle it, and then put a line through it. So not no. So I'm good. So anyway. I have other Facebook stats if you want them. Yeah. Average person has 229 friends. The average person. I was going to say 232. 22%. Or about 50 of those people are from high school. Hmm. I think it'd be more. Yeah. 12% or about 27 of those are extended to family. 10% or 23 of them are coworkers. What about siblings of coworkers? They have a number for that. .001. He's the one. 9% are from college. 8% are immediate family. 7%.
are from extracurricular groups or clubs that you belong to. 2% are neighbors. That one's true. And the 7% are the people that you never met, which is so crazy. It's creepy when you think about your kids on there. Who's that 7% that's friends with them? No doubt. Oh, yeah. I would want to know. Do you know who your kids... No? No. Well, but your kids are older. Yeah. Even when they weren't adults, so we just kind of supervised them and had the long conversations about you don't just friend somebody you don't know. And about, did you ever, how did you monitor cyber creeps? We had the computer where it was only available when we were there, so we were always looking over their shoulders. That's a good idea. That's a very good idea. Do we have time for buzzword or no?
I have other stuff. Yeah, we have five minutes. We can do it in five. All right, 570-1949. What's the prize? Today's prize is lunch for two at Smashburger. Ooh, nice. Lunch for two at Smashburger. What's the word? What's the word? What's the freaking word? Okay. Well, they have to call and pick a horse. 570-1949. Why are you guys yelling at me? But what's the word? What are you going to tell us? I'll tell you what the word is. The word is down. Okay. D-O-W-N. All right. Now, here's the deal. You got to pick me, Sienna, Woods, or L-O-B. L-O-B will win. She'll win the game. She's so good. Lauren's so good at this game. She's the best at it ever. She's so good. She created buzzwords. She's the inventor. She invented it. Well, she didn't invent it, but she did perfect it. Yes. I think Woods is the clear winner, actually. So call us right now. That's fair enough. Now, the word is down, and he's going to say something, and it's going to have down in the word, and we've got to yell it out. And we've just got to scream it. Yep. And now, usually Woods yells very loud. Yes. So we have to be heard over Woods. So maybe turn his mic down. M1 Rick from Escondido. Who do you want? LB will win, so I'll take Woods. All right. M1 Mustache from San Diego. Who do you want?
There you go. It's a great choice. She's the winner. So good. M1 Jason from Miramar. Mike. Hang on. And M1 Jeremy from Poway. You got it. Lucky. The word is down. D-O-W-N. Down. Let's do it. Here we go. Australian, mate. Three-way tie. Was it? It was a three-way tie. I didn't say anything, though. Here we go. An insult. Put you down. Put somebody down. Put down. What? Talking head song on arson. Talking head song. Burning down the house. Oh, gosh. Arson. Talking head song on arson. Wow. How did you understand that? That was hard. It was very hard. When you walk after a long run. Cool down. Cool down.
I said it before him. I don't think so. I think Mikey said it first. Oh, my God. Even though Mikey's never done it, he knew what the answer was. I said run. So you don't think I said it before you? I don't. You said it louder. Just calm down, everyone. Okay, okay. Oh, she'll be good at your finish shirt. Okay, here we go. Scary movie sends shivers. Down your spine! Oh, woods. You got that one. That's a one-way tie. Okay. Are you sure? Everyone has one, but Woods has four. That's right. To turn off your computer. Shut down! Movie critics disapproval. Thumbs down! Lauren? Yeah! In your face! Lauren just thrusted like Woods does. Showing a sad face. Turn down. Turn your smile upside down. Turn your frown upside down!
Down turned face. Down in the mouth. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's a real thing. Is it good? Down in the mouth? Yeah, why are you so down? Keep going, Jay. Win with palms on the table. Hands down. Oh, good job. Dang it. That was good. She's good. Shut up. Your car clunks out. Breaks down. Oh, good. Damn it. New word. Leg. L-E-G. Leg. Are you sure it's not leg? P-L-A-T... You know who's not going to get an answer right? Uh-oh. I got it. You're joking. Pull my leg! What? Pull my leg. Pull my finger. You have no evidence, and... You don't like to stand on! Oh, Ty. Was it? Yeah, that was. Lawrence throwing paper. Take advantage to get ahead. A leg up on the competition! There you go. Lauren and Woods are like, they're about to run a race and they're squatting down, holding onto the table. What score, Sienna? Mike, one. Me, two. Woods, seven. Lauren, five. Oh, gosh. Okay. Here we go. Got two more and they're each two points. Get a move on. Get a move on. Shake your leg. That's it. Shake your leg. It's shake a leg. Shake a leg.
Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Pirate with a prosthesis. Wooden leg. I can't say it. He just said prosthesis. Wooden leg pirate. Hold on. Stop. Stop. Please stop. Please stop. Give the clue, Jay. Pirate with a pro... Prosthetic? No. Yes. Prosthetic. Thank you. Prosthetic. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. One-legged pirate. Pirate with a wooden leg. We're so sorry. Peg leg. Peg leg. Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. He was struggling. I wanted to hear him say prosthesis. She's such a good heart. I know she's got a good heart. She wanted to help him. I'm sorry. What's the score now? I'm going to try to make it with one. No, I don't want it. It was one by three. Prosthesis. M1 Rick. Prosthesis. That's it. Prosthesis. What's he won for you? Thanks again, Woods. You bet, buddy. Hang on. So competitive. Spielberg fired Megan Fox for a Hitler comment. Oh. And I will tell you what it was when we come back. Mikey Show coming up. I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight size 42s. Be a part of the show. Oh!
570-1949 or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com I'm sorry our time is up FM 94.9 Whoever said nothing in life is free obviously hasn't heard about the great offer from Cricket Wireless. Get a free Android-powered smartphone with no contract when you switch to Cricket and turn in a competitor's phone. With a brilliant touchscreen display, innovative camera camcorder, and cool Android apps, the Ascend is a truly smart smartphone absolutely free. Plus, it's yours now with our great smartphone rate of just $55 a month, including unlimited nationwide talk, text, web, and data. That means no overages, no hidden fees, and no contract. Because Cricket earns your loyalty instead of demanding it on the dotted line. So take advantage of this limited-time offer at MyCricket.com or visit a store today. So smart, so Cricket.
Requires new activation. Trading phone must be in working order and be assigned to the ported number. See store for details. Data usage is subject to Cricket's fair use policy. Coverage not available everywhere. Terms and restrictions apply. If you're with T-Mobile, you may be getting traded. Turn the tables. Make a switch of your own to Cricket and regain control of your wireless service with great rates, powerful smartphones, all with no contract. Hey, Gang Control Pal Woodsy to tell you about Verizon's new phone. It is the HTC Trophy, and this thing is pretty awesome, man. If you are a gamer and you're really into gaming, you need to check out the HTC Trophy. So go into Verizon's store. You can demo this phone and register to win. You can go home a winner of an Xbox 360 with Kinect, okay? Okay! That's right. If you buy the HTC Trophy, you will get a free Xbox 360 game. Halo. Yeah, I just said it. You'll get a free Xbox 360 game. Choose from Halo Reach, Connect Sports, or Load Runner. This phone is awesome, man. It's got Xbox Live integration. It's got thousands of apps and Office on it as well. So listen, go check out the new HTC Trophy at Verizon. When did it become okay to make products designed to be used once and then thrown away?
When did everybody come to accept the idea that a thousand disposable products were just as good as a single one built to last? When did quantity replace quality? At Jeep, we believe that every new Grand Cherokee that rolls off our line should last. And so we made it that way. From the hand-stitched leather on the steering wheel to the 5,400 welds in the body, every part of this car has been designed, engineered, and built to last. That's what we believe at Jeep. The things we make. Make us. Jeep is a registered trademark of Chrysler Group, LLC. Lease Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo 4x2 for $2.99 a month for 39 months with $24.99 due at least signing for well-qualified current lessees of competitive vehicles. Tax, title, and license extra. Call 1-888-925-Jeep for lease details. Offer requires a dealer contribution to lease through Ally. Residency restrictions apply. Must take retail delivery by 7511. Here at the Coors Brewery. Our viewpoint hasn't changed in nearly 140 years because right outside our window is a stunning view of the Rockies, the only place legendary Coors Banquet beer has ever been brewed. Banquet is made with only Rocky Mountain water and the best high country barley for that smooth, full-flavored taste. We've been doing it that way since 1873.
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Get your buns out there. Go ahead and have some food. Maybe get on the rides. Not necessarily in that order. This is the only time and place you can buy Ovation other than through the OvationHair.com website. So get on out there. Pack up your car. Bring your friends. Bring your family. Have a good time. And visit that Ovation booth in the Bing Crosby Hall at the San Diego County Fair with special Ovation Fair discount. So I'm in Verizon because I want one of those new 4G phones. And I say to the sales guy, you got 4G? They got 4G. Everybody's got 4G. But it's all the same, right? And he says, no, fact is, Verizon 4G LTE smartphones are twice as fast as any AT&T smartphone. And I say, twice as fast? No kidding. Well, hmm. But in my head, I'm going, he shoots, he scores. Then I say, yeah, yeah, but I want something cool. What do you got? And he says, how about the Droid Charge by Samsung, the Thunderbolt by HTC, or the new Revolution by LG? Wow. And now I'm going go crazy, people. Go crazy. Hurry into Verizon for the best 4G phones on the fastest 4G network. Verizon 4G LTE. Visit any Verizon store today, verizonwireless.com slash 4G LTE, or call 1-800-256-4646. Verizon, built so you can rule the air.
Early termination and other fees apply. Coverage details at VerizonWireless.com slash 4GLTE. We know you want ultimate performance and ultimate fuel efficiency. So now BMW Encinitas is making it easier to drive a new BMW. Now you can lease a new 2011 535i sedan with 30 highway miles per gallon for just $5.79 a month plus tax. And there's six at this payment. It's a 36-month lease with zero security deposit, just $49.99 to its signing plus tax and license. With above average credit through BMW Financial Services, just 20 cents per excess mile over 30,000 miles. And with BMW picking up your first four years of 50,000 miles maintenance, you'll save thousands over the life of your BMW, now through July 4th. At BMW Encinitas, get a 535i with 30 miles per gallon for just $579 a month. BMW Encinitas, on Encinitas Boulevard between the 5 and El Camino Real. Or visit us online at bmwencinitas.com. Now you can. Miles per gallon or EPA estimates only. See store for maintenance offer details.
This report is brought to you by Farmers Insurance. Don't have a Farmers Insurance agent? Well, you may not be saving as much as you could. Farmers has dozens of discounts. They could save you hundreds of dollars. Just call Farmers Agent Raul Pardis at 619-651-1900 and you can start saving. Looks like the 15 northbound ramp to the 8 eastbound, an accident there. It's a car that was in the center divider. It hit a sign and then struck another car. Carlsbad, pretty tough drive on the 5 southbound between Cannon Road and Manchester Avenue. as well as the 56 westbound between Black Mountain Road and the 5 at Stop and Go There. And as you head on the 15 southbound between Rancho Bernardo Road and Poway, we've got speeds in the teens. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. Toyota owners, San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KBZT San Diego, a Lincoln Financial radio station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I'm not very aware of what's happening around me. Hey, if you got lips, you'd be smooching. Woods. I'm not doing butterfly kisses with you, dude. Ziena. Tagalongs. And Jay. I'm an awesome beer drinker on the course. On FM 94.9. Megan Fox made a comment about Hitler and was fired by Steven Spielberg. We'll tell you what that was about.
Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, yesterday, astronaut Mark Kelly, who is Gabrielle Gifford's husband, announced that he is retiring from NASA to be with his wife as she is recovering from the shot in the head. That's nice. There you go. Seawoods, that's a nice thing. Get one more fling before you walk down the aisle. Doing his job. So he's done now, right? No more funny business, no more work, nothing like that. No more vacations and stuff. You guys, he went to space. He flew into Spain. I know he did. One of the few people trained to do this job and bring back a crew safely. So now he can just stay home and concentrate on his wife. Right. So now he's just going to stay home and concentrate on his wife. Always want to send the B team out to do the A team's job. That's right. The two of them, he and his wife, are also going to be writing a memoir. Oh, wait. What's that? They're also going to be writing a memoir? Oh. He and his wife? Oh, they're both going to be writing? Oh, he and his wife. Hey, babe.
Babe, it's not like that. Hey, we're going to write a memoir. We really need to cash in on this gunshot, I think. I think that's probably the plan. Listen, I know you don't want to do it, but listen, I'm going to do all the work. Listen, babe. She doesn't have to type. Babe, I'm going to do the work. We got to cash in, man. Hey, listen, do the numbers 1459 mean anything to you? Our 15 minutes is almost up. I got to get this book out. Oh, my God. She's not having to type. I'm not. I know I'm not going to drag you to Daytona again. How dare you? How dare you? Also, President Obama is set to announce tonight in a speech that he's going to be withdrawing some 10,000 U.S. troops from Afghanistan over the next year. He said that he's going to start with 5,000 troops this summer and another 5,000 by winter or next spring.
There you go. We'll see what's going on in sports. Well, there is a new college in trouble, and it is the University of North Carolina. They got a notice from the NCAA outlining numerous violations in their football program. Imagine that. Their former associate head coach, John Blake, has provided false and misleading information to NCAA investigators and also was steering players of his. towards a certain agent, which you cannot do. Seven players received more than 27,000 in improper benefits in 2009 and 10. So they are in trouble and they've got 90 days to respond to the notice. Oh, wow. Also in the NFL, if you missed it earlier. Roger Goodell came out yesterday and said that there are basically laid out some of the details of the new proposed CBA. Players getting 48% of all revenue, full 16-game Thursday night TV package beginning in 2014. There's numerous things. I'll put them on my blog for you later. It's pretty crazy, too, man. It's pretty crazy. A lot of things I didn't know. So check it out. Our number is 570-194-9. Sienna, why did Steven Spielberg fire?
Megan Fox. Well, there's a few different reasons. Michael Bay, the director of Transformers, was talking in GQ magazine, the July issue. And he said that, first of all, even when she was there, she wasn't really there. Megan Fox was always tech. texting um she never wanted to be a part of the movie she was just kind of there to be there um he said that yeah she just was a kind of a nightmare to work with he also said there was also that hitler comment what is that now back in 2009 megan fox was um talking with wonderland magazine and they asked what working with michael bay was like the director right and this is what i'm gonna I'm going to read you a quote that she said. He's like Napoleon, and he wants to create this insane, infamous, madman reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for, but when you get him away from the set and he's not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality. His personality because he's so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. So basically she compared him to Hitler, and Steven Spielberg said to Michael Bay, you know what, that Hitler thing, you need to fire her right now. Fire her right now.
Wow. It's a general rule of thumb. If your boss's last name ends with Berg, you don't want to do Hitler stuff. You just don't. Yeah, he was real mad. Or Stein. Maybe you just leave the Hitler stuff behind. Yeah, I was going to say, it's a general rule of thumb that the Hitler jokes don't go over very well. They don't fly. Yeah. Have you guys heard of a movie called Apollo 18? Apollo 13. Yes. I've heard of that. It's a new movie called... It hasn't come out yet. It's called Apollo 18. Have you heard of it? No. Rebecca said get, and I said all in. Woods will be probably, probably out. I loved Apollo 13. Loved it. The idea of Apollo 18 is that... 17 missions went to the moon. And there's a reason why we didn't know about one. And there's a reason we never went back. And the trailer looks like a documentary. It's shot in that 1960s footage. So it basically is like Blair Witch, but using, you know, 60s footage of, you know.
trips to the moon and so when they're showing it it looks identical to the lunar landing it looks just like it but there's something creepy up there something terribly wrong and the last shot that they show is like in the lunar dust like a long dead decomposing human body and it looked great. I can't wait for this movie. Apollo 18. But Woods doesn't like sci-fi slash, you know. I like girls, Mikey. If there were mobsters. Yeah, if the mafia went to space. If it was mafia on the moon. Or if they robbed a bank in space, I'd be on board with that. Sports, Mikey. Space bank. Yes. I like 16-year-olds, Mikey. I don't fornicate with my own daughter, Mikey.
What? Touché. Me? Touché. How do I always get the heat? Unbelievable. Oh, boy. Creep. He didn't know. I didn't know. You knew when you requested. Just be friends. Are you not friends with me, DJ? I'm friends with your daughters, too, DJ. I know. All right. I'm going to read to you what the screen says, and I'm going to let you hear the audio. Okay? This is my version of Mikey show and tell. Officially, Apollo 17 was NASA's final manned mission to the moon. In the years following, there was unconfirmed intelligence of an 18th mission. No evidence has ever been found. The following footage has not been altered or enhanced. I sure am. Beautiful, isn't it? Twelve guys have seen this for you. Day one.
D.O.D. Mission Report. How's that look? Dude, that looks pretty good. I'll give you that. I can't wait for this movie. See, I'm not a big horror movie fan, but I love alien stuff because it isn't real. Well, I don't think it's real. So it's fun for me. It's like a roller coaster. Right. So Sienna was taking Sage and Jenna, her stepdaughter, to the aquarium over the weekend. First time. For little Sagey. And while they were walking around, they heard a little kid, about two or three years old, say the word preposterous. That's preposterous. He said that one of the fish was acting preposterous. And his parents were laughing because they clearly taught him how to say the word. And Sienna loved it. There's something about little kids saying stuff like that.
It gets you. It gets you, man. I don't know what it is, but little kids saying weird stuff and big words that you don't expect them to say. That stuff kills me. Preposterous. Jake is now doing stuff where we're like, where'd you get that? Where'd you get that? Jake got me real good last night. What'd he say? You know, Mike and Rebecca have a gate that goes from their kitchen to the, like, you can walk to the front door. He goes to the bathroom, and then he comes back, and he goes, okay, I'm ready to come in now. And I looked at him, and the gate's right there, and I guess he can't open the gate. So I had to open the gate for him, but I pretended that I was the doorman. And I said, do you know the owner? And he goes, well, who's the owner? I go, that guy right there. And Jake goes, oh, yeah, I know him. I go, well, then you get to come in. Made me do it 15 times. He thought it was hysterical. He thought it was the greatest. He goes, I don't know him. Can I go back out? I was like, all right, you got to leave. So you're the bouncer. Yeah, I was the bouncer. He was so funny. Woodsy's probably better with the little kids than anybody I've ever seen. Jake was flipping out. That's my man. He's my man. So Woods took his iPhone.
and opened up the... I thought you meant Jake, so I was like, what? Wood's iPhone. And he opens up the notes thing and writes the word Jake on it. And he goes, oh, you're on the list. I go, show me your name. Are you on the list to come in? And he goes, that's my name. You're on the list. He's a little angel. Ryan Dunn. Ryan Dunn's a dude from... from jackass that died in the car crash and they say that he was drinking right beforehand uh and that he was driving really fast um woods had actually seen the dude at the rainbow room in la rainbow bar and grill and uh you know all the cats from jackass right yeah it was right when jackass uh three or 3.5 or whatever came out and it was their uh kind of their wrap party We went there for dinner and I'm like, oh my God, Jackass is here. Wee Man's running around. It was hysterical. Well, this is Bam Majera on his friend. I've never lost anybody that I care about. It's my best friend. I was in Arizona when I heard and I just remember I was with friends having the best time ever. And at 1230, I just started punching out the windows.
of the rental van and ripping out the speakers. And I don't even know why I wasn't mad at anything or anybody. And if it's 1230 there, that means that it was exactly when he crashed. He's saying that he didn't know. Like something came over him. He had a premonition and started doing that. Is that what he's saying? Yeah. That's really weird. The happiest person ever. The smartest guy. He has so much talent. And he had so many things going for him. He's not right. That's Bam Majera? Yeah. I feel real bad for Bam Majera. Mike, he's at the crash site in this. He's at the crash site, dude, where his buddy died. Oh, man. His mom, Bam Majera's mom, was also interviewed. I saw it on the news last night, and she was saying, you know, out of all the guys, Ryan Dunn's the one that parties the least, drinks hardly ever. He's just a good kid.
You get through this. A lot of people have been worried about you. They can't. Yeah, dude. I mean, I seriously, I feel real bad for this guy because that sounds really strange. Like, he didn't know that his friend had died. And he's like, yeah, all of a sudden, I just started punching out windows and pulling the speakers out of a rental van. For no reason. For no reason. And it turns out that it was because, you know, it was right at the same time this happened. Doesn't seem out of character for him to punch out windows. Yeah, that's true. To clown out and light it on fire. I can't. Do you know how horrible it is being on an airplane for six hours? Not being with everybody. You're just stuck on an airplane. It was the worst phone call I've ever gotten in my life waking up to that. Very sad. Very sad. They were friends. That was like the first person that Ryan Dunn met when he moved to the area. Yeah. And how did Ryan... Because he wasn't in the original, was he? Oh, yeah. Oh, he was? Oh, yeah. He was in the shows. They were in the CKY. Yeah. The original stuff that was before Jackass. And those two were the closest, would you say? Yeah. Yeah.
That's really sad, man. His mom said that Ryan used to send her happy Mother's Day texts and that he was real close with her family. You just can't get anywhere. It's just so sad. So, dude, I don't know anything about this, man, but apparently Roger Ebert did something that was real terrible. I don't know what it is, and I told Sienna to save it because I haven't heard it. Oh, my gosh. Well, on Monday, the day that Ryan Dunn died, Roger Ebert got on Twitter and said, Friends don't let jackasses drink and drive. And people flipped out. Yeah, it's just unnecessary. Right. It's uncalled for. It's just not necessary. You don't know. You don't know. You know, and I'm not going to say who, but there was somebody even on our page, you know, that they were upset that we were talking about. Yes. Ryan Dunn. Right. And they were upset because we weren't mentioning, you know, fallen soldiers and stuff like that. Which is very sad to me, you know, that in a time where this makes news or whatever, and it's certainly newsworthy, you know, especially people our age, we know who he is. And, you know, you're doing what, well, we're essentially doing...
what we're supposed to do, report on it and tell you about it. And he thought that it was really messed up that we would talk about Ryan Dunn and not mention these fallen soldiers or whatever. And, you know, I thought to myself, what a shaming message and what an unnecessary shaming message. It shouldn't be shame on us. For talking about anybody that dies. Right. Because anybody that dies, it's not good. It's a loss. You know, anybody that dies, it's not good. It's a loss. Yeah. And it's just not necessary for Roger Ebert to do his bit. Or, you know, I think the best thing to do, no matter who you are, probably is just, I mean, if you want to be appropriate, just not say anything. Yeah, you're the old standard RIP. Rest in peace. R.I.P. R.I.P. Ryan Dunn. Or just keep quiet. Yeah, just zip your lip. Uh-huh. Yeah, man. He started a storm, Roger Ebert did. He apologized, kind of. He said, I also regret that my tweet about the event was considered cruel. It was not my intent to be cruel. It was my intent to be true. It's still, like, not really an apology. It's backhanded apology. Backhanded. Well, Bam Margera.
filleted the guy on his Twitter. Like, you can't repeat what he said. It was so curse laden. Yeah. Well, it's not necessary. It's totally unnecessary. You know, I think everybody gets that it's a lesson in drinking and driving. Right. I don't think that you need to drive at home. It's speeding, too. I mean, the guy was going over 100 miles an hour. We get it. You know? It was bad. Kick somebody while they're dead, you know? It doesn't make any sense. 570-1949, what do you think? Should it be made a big deal of? Should you take the opportunity to point out that this is a lesson in speeding and drinking and driving? Or does it just stand for itself? It speaks pretty loudly for itself. It does, man. When you read the story about how they were identified, their bodies were so badly burned, their car was shredded. Was it just a friend that was with them? Actually, dude, it was a vet. It was a veteran. That just got back from, I think, Afghanistan. That was a friend of his? That was a friend of his. It was a male friend. And he was in the picture, too. I don't know which one it was in the picture. But he was a war veteran. And they were, he was back. And they were having a few drinks. And Ryan Dunn had a really fast Porsche. Really fast. It's too bad. It's freaking, you know, Mike and I talked about it a little bit. Dude, it could be anybody. It could have been me a thousand times. It's so sad.
570-1949. Or you can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. As it turns out, there was a Amish guy that is being sought for seeking to have sex with a 12-year-old girl. This guy sent... Hundreds of sexually charged text messages to a 12-year-old. Basically what happened was he just sent a random text on his phone. It happened to be this girl's number. Her parents ended up getting a hold of this phone and seeing this random guy sending these messages. And they kept it and responded sometimes. And he ended up sending about 600 texts to this 12-year-old girl's phone. And finally... They even responded to him to set up a meeting time to meet him. And the cops came and everything and he was arrested. But yeah, he said that he wanted to have sex with her in his buggy. You know what I didn't know? I didn't know that Amish people have computers and they do. I saw some documentary on Amish people. Weird. I know. Just isolate that. I saw some documentary on Amish people.
And this teenager would plug his computer into his lighter in the car and charge it because he was on his way out of being Amish and going into the regular world. Now, was it forbidden to have that computer in his house? Well, there was no electricity. Yeah. Right. He had a car? That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, because he was on his way out. He was leaving the Amish community. Which is the deal with this guy. I'm like, well, how did an Amish girl have a cell phone? How did an Amish guy have a cell phone? No, it was an Amish guy, but he had a cell phone. How? I don't know. The bootleg. Yeah. Yeah. They had arranged, he and he thought was a 12-year-old girl, happened to be the parents, arranged to meet at a restaurant in Indiana, and he showed up in the horse and buggy. Oh, my gosh. He also sent in the 600 text messages pictures of his naked self and videos. You creep. Total creep. Amish creep. I know. There are many annoying sounds in the world, but when we come back, the world's most annoying sound has been isolated, and we'll tell you what it is next.
to tell you. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com How did you morons even get in here? More coming up on FM 94.9. So I'm at the theater with my mom and sister who somehow convinced me to see the latest Victorian romantic love tragedy film. But at least I have an ice cold Coke. Well, I had an ice cold Coke. Now I'm down to that last part where if I try to drink it there's a good chance it'll make a slurping noise. Quiet. So I'm waiting for an action scene to cover the slurp. And waiting for the action scene. And waiting. To die for love? What could be more glory?
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Happy people tend to be healthier. It's something we always suspected but never knew for sure, that people with higher rates of happiness reported 50% better health. Is it just me, or do happy people just seem to get all the breaks? How about the rest of us? How do we become happier and take advantage of the health benefits? Kaiser Permanente is here to tell you that it can indeed be done. Studies show that performing an act of kindness can increase your happiness. The more acts of kindness, the better you feel. So next time, let someone ahead of you in line at the store. Pay the toll for the car behind you. It may sound like a bumper sticker, but a random act of kindness is never trite. So increase your happiness quotient and do something nice for someone. Secretly, you'll be doing something nice for yourself. We're Kaiser Permanente, and we want you to live well, be kind, and thrive. To learn more, visit kp.org slash thrive and click on Mind, Body, Spirit. Betco is venable to the wall. Leaps up and makes the catch. Welcome back, Will. Betco Park is the place to be every Friday night. Watch your San Diego Padres take on the Atlanta Braves Friday, June 24th at 7.05. Be sure to stay after the game for Friday Night Fireworks presented by Northgate Gonzalez Market. Don't miss Friday Night Fireworks in Padres versus Braves Friday, June 24th at 7.05.
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Get a $50 prepaid MasterCard gas card when you book with your MasterCard during Expedia's My Summer is Better Than Your Summer Sale. Where you book matters. Expedia. Minimum stay required and subject to availability. Booked by July 4th. Travel by August 31st. Terms and restrictions apply. See site for full details. Mikey Show. With Mikey. Liberals drive me nuts. I will always say that. Liberals drive me nuts. Because of how conservative I am. Lauren. Yeah, you call me thrifty. I call me smart. Cheap. Woods. I was kind of the class clown in high school, if you guys can imagine. Sienna. My biggest pet peeve is when people go... When they chill. It drives me nuts. And Jay. I'm a salt aficionado. On FM 94.9. Most annoying sound. I would think it's a baby crying. No? No. There's not a baby crying? Close. I thought it was going to be a slam dunk. No. I thought I was going to say, and I thought you were going to go, well, of course. Obviously. Obviously. A baby crying is not it? Close. Wait a minute. Why did everybody look at me like I was a monster? Because it's kind of a monstrous thing to say. Because you have two babies in your house right now. Three songs. You ever heard those? Have you ever? Babies cry? A couple times. They can't control it. A baby screaming and crying? Oh. It's like nails down a chalkboard.
I thought that was going to be the most annoying sound. Nails down chocolate. Kills me. A siren. Oh, sirens are terrible. They're so loud. Well, I'm asking myself, when one of the babies is screaming and crying, you know, I don't know what the decibel is, but I'm asking myself, could I replace that with a siren at the same decibel? No. No. You couldn't. Eh, maybe. All I know is that both of them are pretty... You ever get... I get mad when I hear... When I'm driving and I have my window down and a siren passes by, I physically get mad. Fear. Yeah. That and just like, dude, turn your freaking siren down. Really? Because it scares you. I get mad. Yeah. It's scary. It's scary. And it's loud and scary. Yeah. And I get... My body shakes. I get so mad. There was an impromptu...
I guess it was some sort of fire parade in Encinitas on Saturday. I don't know if anybody else heard this. It was probably about 30 fire trucks, but they said like Poway, but at first everyone thought it was a big emergency. So everyone's standing on the side of the street, running into each other, looking around. Then they start waving to people. Well, listen, loud noises scare people real bad. I went to this event that was a really, really, really cool event. I think that it's a great event and I would recommend people going to it. But at this particular event, they had a dump truck and they were allowing kids to sit in the dump truck and you could take pictures. Now, Ryan, my son, who's almost two, loves dump trucks. He watches them on YouTube. He loves dump trucks. And so some of the parents. were wanting to honk the horn and it's really really loud and there were it was making a lot of little kids including one of mine cry because it was really really loud and it was making me angry because my kid wasn't the only one that was crying and so my logic was if you're making
kids cry even if your kid enjoys honking the horn but you can see as an adult that it's making other kids cry you then as the adult have to make the choice which is more important their fear or their happiness and me personally i would forego the fear so that i mean i would forego the happiness so that a child wouldn't have to be terrified. Several children. Several children. That's me. But there were some people, and I walk up to the guy that's like the main guy putting the kids in there. I go, hey, man, that horn is scaring some kids real bad. And he gave me a look like, so what? What do you want me to do, pal? I don't care. Some kids are liking it. Like, what? But yeah.
That is horns, real loud horns. Or the train whistle. Oh, yeah. That one gets me. Another one makes me furious driving through Encinitas. Well, a psychology professor did a study, and he had people taking different tests. And while they were taking the test, he had different noises going off to see, you know, which noise would throw them off. And the most annoying noise was what caused the most wrong answers in the test. And the most annoying sound was whining. So you're close to the baby cry, but whining. And they're like, you know, he said that's why babies learn to whine right away. Because it's like people will do anything to get it to stop. You know? Oh, I think I could put up with whining before screaming and crying. Yeah. Crying was a noise. Talking. Silence was a noise. Whine. Lack of noise. Whining. A loud high-pitched table saw was played while they were taking the test. A grown woman doing horrible baby talk was played while they were taking the test. Depends on the woman. You little monkey. You little monkey. You handsome. You handsome. It depends. See, Woods' woman got me. You love it. I liked her. You love her. I liked Woods' woman. Little monkey.
But I think that nails down a chalkboard is pretty bad. It makes me shiver. And do they think that, are they saying that it doesn't matter the age of the person that's whining? Oh, yeah, it says it happened to men, women, parents, non-parents, all ages. Couldn't stand the sound. It doesn't say the age of the whiner. Yeah, because, man, I'll tell you what, a whining teenager? That'll get you. Don't take my cell phone, Mom! I hate you! Why do you always do this? Oh, that's pretty brutal. That is brutal. I want to play second phase. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Ow, bud. Come here. When we come back, I'm going to tell you about the groom that was so upset about the cost of renting a castle. Well, let me just tell you when we come back. Yes. On FM 94.9. There's new and then there's new. As in original. As in the reset button has been pressed.
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because I do. Sienna. The whole reason I'm on Facebook is to look at pictures of babies. And Jay. You should pay attention sometimes. On FM 94.9. Hey, tomorrow's attack of the retweets is definitely worth mentioning to you again. We are doing something so cool tomorrow. Starting tomorrow at 10, right when we're getting off the air, and it will go until 8 o'clock tomorrow night. We're going to be giving away tickets to L.A. Rising with Rage Against the Machine, Meows, Foo Fighters, Perfect Circle, Sia, The Kills, Death Cab for Cutie, Peter, Bjorn, and John, and CDs and gift cards. But the only way that you can win this stuff is to follow us on Twitter. So you go to twitter.com slash fm949sd. And we also have all the details on fm949sd.com. But what a rad thing, man. It's called Attack of the Retweets. And it's all those. Like, you can win tickets to all those shows. We've got concert tickets for all of them. And starting at 10, goes all the way until 8. That's tomorrow. But the only way is you've got to follow us on Twitter. Twitter.com slash FM949SD. You know, speaking of Twitter, we did a tweet up yesterday. And...
It's really cool. The idea is that we will go somewhere and we will jump on our Twitter accounts and we'll say, hey, come and hang out with us right now. And, you know, whoever comes out right now will buy you lunch, that kind of deal. And the only way that you can know about it is to follow us on Twitter. And so it's Mikey Show followed by our name, M-I-K-E-Y-S-H-O-W. So it's Mikey Show, Mikey. Mikey Show, Lauren. Mikey Show, Woods. Mikey Show, Sienna. And Mikey Show, Jay. And it's really, really easy. And we'll tell you, a lot of times we'll say, like, you know, yesterday it was at the fair. And we'll say, hey, we got a tweet up. We're going to be doing, be watching your Twitter to find out about it. You can also follow us on Facebook. We're at Facebook.com slash Mikey Show. Tonight's 8 o'clock album is Radiohead. Garrett. Okay, computer. And Sienna, tell me about the groom that was upset over the castle that he rented. This is fantastic. Yeah. So this groom had his wedding at a venue called Peckfort and Castle, which is in Cheshire, England. What? Rutt. Rutt, okay. And he felt that the people who owned the castle overcharged him and didn't exactly deliver what he had thought they promised. What he won't.
Well, you know, the access to everything, he didn't specify. He just said that he was unhappy with the way everything was and for how much he paid to stay in this castle. So after the wedding and the reception, while about 70 of the wedding guests were sleeping in the rooms in the castle, he set the place on fire. Isn't a castle made of stone? It was a straw castle. It was a straw castle. Fortunately, everyone got... Dry walled castle. Fortunately, everyone got out okay, but a quarter of the castle was gutted, and it took firefighters more than 12 hours to put out the fire. Well, to drive there across the moors, it took 12 hours to get to it in a fire truck. Yeah, they couldn't get across the moat. It cost over $1.6 million in damage to fix this portion of the castle, and he was... Obviously arrested, but no charges have officially been filed. Right, because he had a legitimate point. Right, he asked for salmon and they gave him freaking chicken. That's right. I didn't ask for chicken, I asked for salmon. Salmon. Man doesn't order salmon because he wants to eat chicken. This is ridiculous. I'd like my money back. How awesome would that be? Hey pal, that's what you get when you rent a castle. Things may not work up to snuff, alright? That's right.
Amy Winehouse has canceled her entire tour. Yes. This tour started in, where was she? Serbia. She was there, and she was... Stop, Woods. She was... I will never hear the words Serbia ever again without thinking of Woods. I know. What did you say, Woods? I said that... It was Jay. It was Jay. It was Jay. Jay doesn't, or had it. done manscaping in a while. When we were on the golf course and he went to potty, it looked like a Serbian. That proves that you're lying. Because I had definitely weed whacked. It had been a while. You do, but it had been a while. Yeah, but I actually use a weed whacker. How do you guys know so much about each other's personal grooming? Because he urinates on the golf course, L.O.B. But Wood says you usually do, but he hasn't been. Yeah, there you go, Wood. It's true. I've seen it a few times. Jay and I, you know, we've been through some wars together. Well, Amy Winehouse was performing in Serbia, and she had her crazy hair and her tight-fitting dress, and we know that she's had a problem with drugs and alcohol in the past. So while she was performing, she was having a hard time keeping her balance, struggling to perform her songs, and the fans gave her a hard time, and they've canceled. Girl, how drunk is you? Get off the stage.
Do you play Rehab? Just play freaking Rehab. Open with it, then get the hell off. That's all we came for. It's the only one we know. The only song with a hit, Rehab. They try to make me go to rehab. And they say, no, no, no. It's a great song. It's freaking great. Sounds good. Serbia. M1 Chris from Oceanside. Hey, what's up, you guys? What's up? Dude, could you please play the duck in the box audio clip again for me? No problem. It's pretty great. It's pretty great. It's in the right way. Someone farting in their sleep. I have to admit, it gets me too. It gets me too. Totally, my stomach was hurting so bad this morning when you guys did. My face hurts right now. Oh, my gosh. It's so violent. Did all of you just automatically assume man? Yeah, a thousand. Okay, I hope. You'd be divorced if it was a woman, so believe me. I'd be staying in Motel 6. What if your missus did that, Mike, and you caught her? That's the only time Todd's heard me fart is in my sleep. She would wake up, and I'd be gone with a note.
I'll be at the Howard Johnson until I recover. I love you. Until you have a gut transplant. I'll be at the Hojo. Oh, we're perfect. I can do it. It's just a guy thing. Sorry, I burped. It's a guy thing. I'm flicking my boogies on you. Cut my toenails off. Here's a bouquet for you. Here's a buttercup. My hands down my pants. That's right. That's right. It's a guy thing. I'm a guy. I'm perfect. It's my man impression. Oh, my gosh. Hot box one real good. Thank you. Thank you. A little Dutch oven. Thanks, Chris. Slap up. Slap up. Slap up. Craigslist, by the way, may not be the best place to advertise for weed. Yeah, it's really not a good idea. A 31-year-old man from Connecticut, Michael, thought it was a good idea to search for some weed on Craigslist. And his ad was answered by some members of the East Central Narcotics Task Force.
They scheduled a meet-up on Thursday at McDonald's, and he showed up hoping to get some weed and, in fact, got a misdemeanor. What a dummy. Did you see this go down, Mikey? At McDonald's. There they are. Can't wait. For McDonald's to somehow come up on the program tomorrow because it will. And when it does, diary, I will make a joke about me. Signed, Jason A. Isabel. So funny. And scene. This is an 11-year-old little girl performing If I Ain't Got You.
Well, I heard a weird sound in there. I didn't know what that was. It's pretty good for an 11-year-old. Oh, boy. So precocious, aren't you? So precocious. So precocious. It's possible to be too precocious. She's one of those. We get it. You're great. You're 11. We get it. Oh, oh, my God. I'm perfect. Hi, Hill. Hi. How are you? I'm great. How are you guys? We're doing very good. Good. That, I don't know why, but like, we're all grown up little kids, man. I hear that sound and I still, as a 41-year-old man, still laugh like I did when I was seven. Toots? Yes. Oh, yeah. Like I was seven. Big deal at our house. Is that a big player?
She's four and a half, our daughter, so it's like all of a sudden she thinks it's hysterical. So does my four-year-old. Has to point out every single one. Jake thinks it's hysterical. It is. It is hysterical. If a child thinks it's funny, it's okay. It's funny. Let's see. So what do you have coming up for us? Well, I've had this band stuck in my head yesterday. You guys were talking about show injuries. Someone called about a band I'm going to play because for some reason I can't stop thinking about them. Depeche Mode, some new Company of Thieves. They'll get on Fleet Foxes and Arcade Fire. And I'm going to play one of the bands that's going to play at Del Mar once horse racing season starts. Four o'clock Friday shows. There you go. Yeah, lots of good stuff. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next. We'll come back tomorrow at six and do it again. The Mikey Show's out. media station. We know smell sulfur. FM 94.9 is about the music.