The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 06/25/10

0:00My boss came out, she's like, oh my god, Michael Jackson died. I was like, great, get on the phones, everybody. Really? Yeah, we got people to recruit. It was like you couldn't believe it, you know, it didn't seem real. It was nuts. Yeah, I texted a friend of mine, Miles McPherson, who was also speaking that day, and he was in this big green room area, and I texted him, and I said, hey, I don't know if you heard the news, Michael Jackson died. He texted me back and said, No, that can't be true. That's one of the things I think that happens with, you know, when you hear big news, you're like, no. That was like, this is going to be a day we're never going to forget. I kept thinking because it was back and forth. It was like, he's been pronounced dead. Oh, no, no. He's just in cardiac arrest. It kept going back and forth. And I'm like, he's going to be fine. He's going to pull through. You know what I thought? Great. Six weeks, six months of this. Six weeks, six months of this. This is all you're going to hear? I get so tired. I hadn't liked Michael Jackson since.

1:00Well, I mean, really, since the allegations came out about him, I've been like, see you, man. Yeah, a lot of people are like that. That's exactly how I was. Yeah, when we talked about it the next day on the air, what I remember was, I went into it so naively when we started talking about Michael Jackson. And what I mean by naively is, for me, all it was was the death of a pop star. Well, no, excuse me. All it was was the death of the biggest pop star. to ever live. And it was also the soundtrack of my youth growing up. But what I didn't factor into it was the pedophile stuff. So when I started talking about it, the only angle I was shooting from was the, wow, big part of my growing up died yesterday. I wasn't going, man.

2:00One of the greatest humanitarians ever. I'd been so checked out on that guy for the last 15 years. I was like, all right, great, back to work, seriously. But maybe you were, were you ever really a fan of the music? Dude, I had the jacket, I told you. You had the jacket? I had the jacket and the glove, pal. I was a huge fan. Whoa. Yeah, I told you that, didn't I? No! Oh, I got pictures of me in the jacket. Bring them in, bring them in, bring them in. Yeah, my nanny made me the glove with sequins. I was like six. Is that your grandma? Uh-huh. Dude, you wore a Michael Jackson red leather jacket with the zippers. The zippers, I owned it. Oh, my God. Hey, Mom and Dad, if you're listening, you'll be here next week. Bring pictures. Dig those pictures up. Yes, please. Please do it. Oh, yeah, they will. We have them. I know exactly where they are. They're at the lake. Just grab them and bring them because everybody's going to want to see that. Love this. So in honor of the anniversary today, there's going to be some big events. Like in Gary, Indiana, where you know the Jackson 5 is from, their hometown. They're going to be unveiling this big monument today. And Catherine, Michael's mom, is going to be there. His kids are going to be there. Also in L.A., Forest Lawn Cemetery, which is where Michael is now, his body. They're going to be opening the gates for people to come in. And, you know.

3:25So it's like Elvis now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just like Elvis. And I'm sure on TV and radio all weekend, it'll be nothing but Michael Jackson, you know, so. Michael Jackson's estate has made, like, billions just in the year that he's passed. Yeah, they say this last year he's done almost better than any other year. Like, it's insane. Probably better than any other year. Lauren is picking the music today, and her, she's... done all Michael Jackson stuff, so we're going to hear kind of a best of today of Michael Jackson stuff. Do you know that Eddie Van Halen does the guitar solo in this song? Of course. Did you guys know that? Did you know that? No. He does the guitar solo. I thought that his funeral was one of the strangest things I've ever seen in my life. It was. It's one of the strangest things I've ever seen. His daughter, when she spoke, was so sad. That was very touching. I saw that. That was touching. It got me. It was very touching. But there were definitely parts of that. You know what I thought was the strangest was before it began? The pageantry moving in and out of the Staples Center? Is that what it was? Yeah. Did you play it all on the air, too? Yeah. Yeah, so did we in the morning. We played it live. Uh-huh. Just turned that up, and everyone was just like, mesmerized.

4:48I was mesmerized at the oddness of the spectacle. The fanfare. I thought that was weird. The fanfare was weird. Random performers, too. It was like a young kid from England and, you know. Weird, a young kid. No, I knew he was waiting for you to say that. He was on Britain's Got Talent or something. Yeah, I bet he was. Eddie Van Halen. Of course that's Eddie. Of course. I heard somewhere that he did it in like one take. Dude, are you kidding? Of course he did. He came into Quincy Jones' studio, and he was like, later. See ya. Wouldn't that be nice? Did you imagine? No, I can't. One take, Jake. That's good. We're done. I've been playing for 15 years. I couldn't sniff a note of that. Man. 570-1949. So, yeah, there's a deal. Latoya Jackson has a lot. Yeah. Remember me, Bubbles? Bubbles.

5:55Yeah, if you missed that, the other day we were playing, LaToya Jackson was on Animal Planet, and she did some special called Bubbles, the untold story of Michael Jackson and his chimpanzee. Bubbles. Do you remember? I don't remember you. Yes, you do. No, I don't. Yes, you do. I'm telling you that I'm looking you straight in the eye, and I'm telling you I don't. Oh, Bubbles. It's been 20 years. Has it? Yeah, where you been? 20 years since what? We've seen each other. Well, then where have you been? I've been busy on the road, on tour. Really? On the road, on tour? No, you haven't. I mean hitchhiking. I'm a chimpanzee. I know you haven't done anything. You haven't done a thing. What do you mean, Bubbles? What I mean is you haven't done anything. Bubbles, you're crazy.

7:00I'm crazy. We're talking to a chimpanzee. Hi, Bubbles. Did you get my letters, Bubbles? Bubbles. Yes. Hi, Bubbles. Hi. Hi, Bubbles. You know, I miss you. I haven't seen you in ages, Bubbles. Who are you? Do you remember me? Bubbles? Do you remember me, Bubbles? I don't. I don't. I don't. You do? I don't. Do you, Bubbles? No, I said I don't. Bubbles? Yeah. Bubbles? Oh, I want to kiss you. I want to hug you. Don't do that. I beg you. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. And don't cry. Please. Anything. Oh, no. I see. Please don't cry. It's so... Oh, it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart. I'm a chimp. It breaks my heart. No, I don't. Okay, I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I totally do. I totally remember you. I remember. I remember. Bubbles. Stop. Bubbles. You remember me, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You remember me? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Please go. Please go. Please go. Please go. Please go. Please go. I love it. There she is. Who's taking care of Bubbles, I wonder? Craig. Oh, that's right. Craig. Craig. Craig, you want to...

8:22Craig. Craig. This is Craig. Craig's going to take you. You do know him. Okay, yeah, Craig's going to take you out of here and give you a sandwich. He's got sandwiches, Craig, right? Sandwiches and bananas in the other room. Like potassium? Because we've got plenty of bananas over in the other room, so Craig's going to take you over there and give you some of that. Craig's going to show you the brand new beautiful exit that we bought. He's going to show you the door. Absolutely gorgeous. So here is LaToya talking about... The one-year anniversary. You have no idea. It's been so rapid. The time has just flown by. It seems really... Man, she sounds like Michael Jackson. I know. They all. It's crazy. It sounds so much alike. It seems as if it's only been a couple of months. It's amazing how fast a year can go, especially when you're so grieving over something. I miss you, too. She said some really strange stuff. She's got some real, real strange... ideas about Michael Jackson's death. One of the things that she said was she thinks that he was killed for his musical catalog. It was just strange. Conspiracy bit. Really? I don't think he was killed. I think that he was addicted to medications. Could have been those 700 pills they found in his body. Might have had something to do with it. I watched about 20 minutes of that movie, This Is It, the documentary. I made it through five. You made it 20, you made it five. Make sure to check that out. I fell asleep. Weird.

9:52But I'll tell you, man, even in those last days, he sure was a good dancer and all that stuff, right? Yeah, a guy can dance. I mean, no better than I can, but I mean, certainly. You taught him everything you knew. Boy, I tried all those moves when I was a little kid. Every stinking one of them. Gosh, can anyone do the moonwalk? I've tried so many times. Really? You can't. Can you really do it? You can't do it on the carpet. I can. It's not in those moon shoes. These are moon shoes. Look, moonwalk. That is not the moonwalk. My husband can do it pretty good. Really? See, I call that shuffling backwards. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Jay, can you whip me up a piece of plexiglass? Some cardboard in here. Some linoleum. Some linoleum. I'll moonwalk all around the studio. And I remember, too, that it was a real bummer because Farrah Fawcett died the same day and nobody noticed. I stole her thunder. Yeah. When I was at work that morning, the big news was Farrah Fawcett, obviously. We didn't know about Michael yet. And I used to record the news for later in the afternoon for another show. And so all of my news was Farrah Fawcett, Farrah Fawcett, Farrah Fawcett. And I remember getting home and being like, darn it. You didn't know that work. Darn it. I have to go back now and redo it. Did you have to go back? Well, yeah, because I can't not talk about Michael. Yeah. Was there any reporting on when?

11:13Jeff Goldblum allegedly fell off the cliff in New Zealand. That was like the third one of the day. That happened the same day? It was a rumor that got circulated. I heard it was a shipwreck. Really? Like his boat sank out in the middle of the water. Jeff Goldblum? I was like, oh my gosh, three huge celebrities in one day. I was like looking on the internet. I was more bummed about Goldblum and Farrah Fawcett. But the Goldblum thing was fake? It was fake, but it was like, oh my gosh, things happen in threes. Another one! I know. So, apparently they're... are some issues with iPhone 4. Weird. But if I understand this correctly... I love how it's my fault. It's not your fault. No, no, no. Well, there's not problems with the phone, though, from what I understand. No, there's people, of course, there's going to be people ripping it apart, saying it's not all great. It's not all that. So there have been a couple complaints. Okay, well... When we come back, we'll tell you what the complaints are. Very nice. L.O.B. starting it out. Old school. Okay? What she's going to do today is she's going to take you on a musical journey. I did not put it in chronological order except for this song. I should have. Yeah. Mix it up real good. I wonder how old he was when he sang it. Four. I mean, who can sing like that? I know. It's crazy.

12:42The best. Isn't that good? That was my kid. That was my kid. I'd be like, sing, sing, sing. His dad did that. Exactly. Except he did it with a belt. Let me see you do it. Sing, sing. So when we come back, we're going to tell you about the problems of the iPhone 4. Guess who struck again? These are bandits. Oh, my dear. These are bandits. And. Brett Favre made a couple of comments that could lead to us knowing about what he's going to do. So we'll tell you about all of it when we come back to Mikey's show. Thanks for listening. Welcome back. Ella B's picking the music today. It's Michael Jackson. She's going to do all Michael Jackson today. Today's the anniversary. One year anniversary of Michael's death. So, okay, Sienna. iPhone 4 comes out yesterday. Mm-hmm. And... Mikey. Any guesses? Any guesses on about how many of them are sold? Four million. Well, wait. I mean, how... I thought that they... Okay, they pre-sold half a mil. Yeah. So yesterday, I guess they sold... I say they sold 300,000. It says... What did you say, Woods? Four million. Two mil. Four million?

14:38How could they actually move that many people in and out stores in America? Did you see the pictures, though? I mean, there were lines and lines and lines. Yeah. I mean, I've never seen anything like it, but right now what's being estimated is that a record one million phones were sold the first day it came out. She's closest. What did you say? I said two mil. Two mil? One dollar. That's a lot of phones, man. That's a lot. That's a lot of phones. I know it. So what's the problem? Some people waited in line for four days. Come on. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. The first guy who got an iPhone 4 in New York at one of the stores, he said he's been waiting for four days. What a clown. Why is he a clown? It turns out he's an actual clown wearing big, red, floppy shoes. Well, since it came out yesterday, there's been some consumers who have posted some videos and rants about the new iPhone 4s. antenna. Now, they're saying that the antenna is built into a metal rim around the phone, and some are claiming that it causes the phone to get unnecessarily bad reception. And some were saying, like, depending on how you hold the phone, too, because of the metal rim around it, like, if you put your whole hand around it, it's fuzzy. If you hold it just a little bit, like, you don't put your whole hand around it, it's not as fuzzy. So I don't know. I'm sure we'll be hearing more about it. But also they say that... I still want it. This is what always happens.

16:00There's always bugs. That's why I'm a late adopter. I don't. See, listen. Everyone chill out. I believe that that is a bunch of horse poppy. Baloney. Horse poppy. Really? I actually got a couple texts into the show that say the same thing, that they got it yesterday. There's a couple other complaints, too, I'll tell you about. M1 Mountain Feet. Is that the name? Mountain Feet? That's me. Mountain Feet from Oceanside. You got it. Hey, so the worst thing about the iPhone is... You drop it, it's done. Yeah, that was the next one, is that scratches so easily. I don't know about breaking, but... You drop it, the screen's done. Wow. I'm done. Yeah, I can't get it. Wait a minute. Lauren and I use our phones like basketballs. Yeah. Scratches, I think, is completely horse poppy. It's not the scratches, it's the function. It's the function. No, I know, but Sienna just said scratches have been a deal. Yeah, they say that they're scratches. I can't buy that because... one of the things that they're saying on the video about it, you know, on their website, is that it's got this glass that's supposed to be unscratchable. Yeah. Well, that's why they're saying apparently it is capable of being scratched and only after a couple days of wear and tear. By unscratchable, they mean scratchable. That's like, have you ever seen what's referred to as an unbreakable dish? And you go, watch, slam it against a table and it's like a thousand pieces. And you know, the, the,

17:29high-quality retina display that this phone has, they say that it has an annoying yellowish tint in some of the units. Stop it. That's all. The only complaints I've had are those three, but only. I know. I know it. This is what I don't understand. They didn't have anybody that works for the company that had these and tried them out for a couple of months before they threw it out to the general public? Of course they did. Well, maybe they made those ones very carefully with some TLC, and these are being mass-produced just to get them out there. In a sweatshop, mind you. People look for flaws in everything. Yeah, in Cupertino in a sweatshop. Yeah. Cupertino's a small town near San Jose. So the iPhone 4, it's out. You know what they're not talking about? Is the gajillions of people that love it. You know what? I would like to see those gajillions of people. I bet they're out there loving their phone. Call in if it's true. Yeah, if you got one, I want to hear from you. I want to know what this thing's all about. The only reason this story is out is because the hype has been so big on the iPhone 4. And all the iPhones that have come out, people want it. People need it. People wait in line for days. Well, this isn't going to make a very good headline. iPhone 4.

18:45Makes people happy. Yes, it would. I would go out and get one. That's not a news story, though. Would you? I would. I would. You would? I always wait for the reviews, and if it gets, like, you know, thumbs up, I'm like, all right, I'll go get it. See, the deal is that it's not even shaped the same anymore. It's got a much more angular shape to it now. And it's 25% thinner. than the other iPhone. So is Mikey, yeah. 570-1949. Phone's ringing. Obviously, their iPhones are working. You know, what's funny, though, is yesterday when we did the cook-off downstairs... Jay, I knew you were going to say this. When we did the cook-off yesterday downstairs, whose phone did we end up having to use? We had to use Woods. Because somebody's reception wasn't very good. I know. I thought of that, too. As soon as we walked outside with Chris, Chris and I went down to set up the barbecue pit, and Chris has his iPhone, and he's like... I don't have any service. The phone still thinks I'm inside. I'm like, huh, look at mine. So much for a smartphone. Curve 2. Man. How about you guys just get. Yeah. AT&T, my reception's always great. How about you guys? Yeah. You tell them, Mike. Yeah. You tell them. 570-194-9. Your hair is beautiful. Hair, beautiful hair. I love it.

20:08This is M12112 from Mission Valley. Whoa. Easy, pal. Easy, buddy. What's going on? Hey, my wife brought up to me last night. I haven't had a chance to read the article, but a couple days ago, Verizon released news about a new release for a droid. Yeah, we talked about it. We talked about it. Droid. Go get your droid. Love you, chef. It's all right. Thank you. Thanks, bud. Bye. Why are you guys so out on the name? Droid. You don't have to say it like that. Droid. Greetings. I have a droid. I just picked up a droid. I have a droid. You don't have to say it like that. I have an iPhone. But I would. I would say that. Not the same. So you don't know, LLB, because you don't have a TV, but that's what they did on the commercials. That's the way they said it. Droid. No way. Yes. So every time I saw it, I was like. Back away. That's just bad marketing. I read a story yesterday that there's a guy and his name is like Wayne Thompson. And it said, little known Apple co-founder. This guy in 1976 knew Steve Jobs. They got along pretty well. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak are opening a company at the time called Apple Computers, Macintosh. And they asked, and they were kind of having some...

21:30disputes between the two of them, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. So Steve Jobs says to his buddy, Wayne Thompson, hey, can you do me a favor? Can you mediate for the two of us? Because we're not getting along on a couple of these issues, and we actually think you'll be a pretty good mediator. And in return, we'll give you 10% of this company that we're starting right now called Apple Computers. Is it Apple or is it Macintosh? It started Macintosh. It started as Macintosh. And their symbol was an Apple and then it turned just to Apple. It turned just to Apple. Okay. And so they said, we'll give you 10% of our company. And the guy says, okay, sure. So he mediates. He's doing his thing for them. And about 10 days after the company was officially formed, he said, you know what? I had gotten into a company that was making slot machines. went belly up. And so I don't want to make the same mistake twice. And so I'd like to sell my share, my 10% share of Apple computers. And it was worth approximately $800. Why would you sell it? Because he was like, you know what? I just, I don't want to be attached to it because he was on the official paperwork. He said, I want out of all of that. Good move. And so he got out of all of it for $800.

22:49Well, had he kept it, today the same share would be worth $22 billion. Oh my gosh. That's 10%. They were interviewing him, walking around Las Vegas. He was walking into casinos. And his main net worth now is made up from collecting coins. He collects coins. That's what his... net worth is tied up in. Wow. He probably feels like the guy who hosted with Ryan Seacrest the first season of American Idol. His name was, oh my gosh. Yeah, he decided, American Idol, this show's a dud. Duckle, Duckenberg or something like that. Ryan Duckleman or something. Duckleman. Something like that. Dunkleman. His name was Dunkleman. You pulled a Dunkleman. Oh, Dunkleman. Yeah. He got into a contract dispute. And they were like, forget it. We don't need you. We'll keep this guy unknown, Ryan Seacrest. We'll keep him. Brian Dunkelman. There we go. Dunkelman. Oh, Ryan and Brian. M1 Kevin from Bonzel. Are you there? How you doing, man? How are you doing? Love the show. We're great. Thank you. You have iPhone 4? Got it yesterday, and absolutely. I actually upgraded from the original iPhone 3G, and this is a huge upgrade. You don't have any problems with it yet? No problems yet. Haven't dropped it yet.

24:11How long have you had it? Just got it yesterday. Okay. Don't you think if you were a single guy and you just got an iPhone 4, you'd pull it out at a bar, girls are like, ooh, is that the new iPhone 4? Yes, it is. It's like having a puppy. Yeah. No way. It is. I would not. I would. Ooh, iPhone 4. I think people would kind of think it's interesting. No way. It would. It's a news story, the iPhone 4. I don't know them. I want to see your iPhone 4. Does anybody in here have one? We've got a bunch of smart people in the audience right now. Just kidding. What's up with the geezer bandit he struck again? He's back. Here's a crazy idea. Why don't you look for an old guy at Banks? I know. Crazy idea. Maybe press the button when you see an old guy walking in. Maybe you just see an old guy. Just have your finger ready. Yeah. This guy's been striking for almost a year. He started last August 2009, and now he has struck for the 11th time yesterday in Temecula. He struck around 1.14 p.m. at the Bank of America in Temecula. Spreading it out. I mean, it's the same deal. Every time he goes in, he walks up calmly, hands the teller a demand note. He also shows that he has a gun.

25:21Teller gives him money. We never know how much money is given to him. He walks right out. So this is actually the first time that he is struck outside the county because he struck in Temecula. But my whole problem is, is we've talked about, you know, is this makeup? Like, is this a young guy that has makeup on to make him look old? Right. And I think yes, because finally there's a picture of his hands and it looked, they look weird. They look like swollen, weird hands. Don't you see it was? So then wouldn't he be old if he had swollen weird hands? No. Not if he's wearing. They wouldn't be swollen. Yeah. They kind of look prosthetic. They look prosthetic, maybe. Yeah. If he has very young, youthful hands and he puts some kind of makeup over them. Yeah. Because he usually wears gloves. And there may have been another time where he didn't have gloves on. But I've said on the air, look, this guy needs to not wear gloves. And maybe he heard me because he put some makeup on. You could just be looking for that, you know? It looks weird. Let me take a look. You would see that. Otherwise, you probably wouldn't. Oh. It looks abnormally big. Sienna, it totally looks like he's wearing gloves that look like hands. Skin gloves? Glove hands. Just animate them? Skin gloves. And he is. There's no doubt about it because he didn't want to leave fingerprints. Ah, that's the thing. Yeah, but then why even pretend that you're not wearing gloves? Uh.

26:44Why even pretend like you're not wearing gloves? Yeah, why not just continue wearing gloves like you are in bed? Oh, I think because these gloves do look like human hands, and I think that if you're an old guy wearing, like, black leather gloves walking into a bank, you really give yourself away. It's the tip-off now. It is. Yeah, that's true. I'll tell you what, too. He looks like a grumpy old man. If this guy's an old man, it's going to be insane. He's not. You don't know that. What if he is? He just walks out, though. I bet you they're going to get him. There's no doubt they're going to get. I want to see him run and do a back flip or something. Yeah, run up a wall. Some Spider-Man moves. It's insane. It's crazy. This guy is a smooth criminal. I don't get it. Really? He should probably just beat it. Yeah. I wonder if he knows anyone named Billie Jean. It's probably a thriller every time he goes in a bank. Every time he goes, it's like, the way you make me feel, I just need to keep Robin. He really needs to look at the man in the mirror. Yeah. You know what I mean? He looks at the guy. Don't you have to try to make it make sense? That makes sense. He really has to look at the man. Yeah. And say, what am I doing? What am I doing with my life? What am I doing with my life? Okay, gotcha. Mikey, it doesn't matter if you're black or white. He goes up to the teller and he says, you want to be starting something? I want to rock with you. This guy's off the wall.

28:05He's just off the wall. Wow, that was good. I was really trying to find one name of a Michael Jackson song. That was fantastic. That was really fantastic. All right, let's do this. Let's get this thing going. First pick in the 2010 NBA draft, the Washington Wizards select John Wall from the University of Kentucky. Sports drafts are cool. I love it. I love it. The NBA draft went down last night. As expected, John Wall was the first player picked. He's from Kentucky. The first player ever from Kentucky to be drafted number one. They've had a lot of great people come through that school. There's never been a Kentucky player number one overall? Number one overall, exactly. No way. And the Washington Wizards drafted him. They'll add the best player in the country to a great backcourt. They've already got Gilbert Arenas. They made a trade for Kirk Heinrich.

29:15You know, if Wall lives up to expectations, he should be really good. Here he is talking about being drafted cut two. Washington Wizards that last year went through a very tumultuous, very turbulent time. How do you move forward into a situation like that? Basically, like going into Kentucky, you know, we had a new coaching staff, a new group of guys coming in with some returning guys, and basically just trying to build together and become like brothers, you know. Work hard every day, try to get better, and we just got to develop it to come together as a team and try to win games. Number 11's retired. What number are you going to wear next year in Washington? I don't know yet. I got to figure that out. Who was number 11 that was retired? From Washington? Yeah. That's a great question, L.O.B. Maybe we'll look into that. That's right. I have no idea. Thank you, though. V. Padres. Do I owe a dollar? Yeah, you owe a dollar. 100%. You owe a dollar. I'll look it up. The Padres were unable to sweep the Rays yesterday due to some awful base running. Really? I'm watching the game. They got the tying run on first. Nobody out. Okay, follow me here. It's Will Venable. Okay. Well, the pitcher for the Devil Rays balks. Yeah. And so Venable gets to go to second. Runner in scoring position. Yeah. Okay, the tying run. Right. Jerry Harrison, who's batting 240.

30:27decides, you know what? I don't think I'm going to move him over to third. I'm going to swing away. Well, he rips the ball right to short. Venable decides, you know what? I've been playing baseball for 25, 30 years. I'm going to go ahead and take third on a ball to the left side, which is the worst movie. It's elementary. Well, they throw him out. Then they get Hairston trying to make a double, and the Rays get out of the inning. I was watching it screaming at the TV, cursing, and there's little kids around me in the restaurant. Oh, great. That's super. Wonderful. Great. But, hey, they weren't able to sweep the Rays. They lost. They need another bat, man. Gonzalez is the only person doing anything right now. Really? And he is hitting everything. He's batting over 400. He's got nobody protecting in the lineup. But they are still two and a half games up. They'll be taking on the Marlins this weekend. I get the feeling that this Jed Hoyer really gets it. I have a feeling he's going to get somebody for him. I hope so, dude. I hope so. They've got, from what I understand, a pretty good farm team. Dude, just take a shot. Take your shot now. The Giants are down. The Dodgers are down. You want to win the West, go win the West. Yeah. Well, here we go again with the Brett Favre bit. Oh, boy. Willie, won't he? Willie, won't he? Just tell us what you know, Brett. So he told the Mississippi Sun-Herald that he would, quote, love to go beat the Saints in the opener. Really? Which is September 9th season opener. So what do you think? I mean, he's saying.

31:52He said he can still play at a high level and that he would love to go beat the Saints. I think that if he gets a phone call from the head coach of the Minnesota Vikings, he's going to miss a call because he can't hear that good anymore. I know. He's probably out robbing banks into Mexico. Geezer. And finally, Albert Hainsworth, Redskins defensive end, is saying he will now attend training camp. Despite my current differences with the Redskins, he's going to go. He missed their mandatory minicamp last week. He was vilified by the entire team. They basically said, dude, we don't want you here. You're selfish. And so the Redskins had given him a chance to go find another team. Yeah, but then he took a $21 million check from him. That's unbelievable. They don't like when you do that. It's unbelievable. So he's saying he will be in training camp that starts in July. It's going to be a good day for him, I bet. Oh, yeah. That he shows up. Can you imagine his gut dropping when he's walking into the office going, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead. He better have something good prepared. Oh, absolutely. It's unreal. And that is Woods on sports. So, Woods, he talked about it yesterday, the longest tennis match ever. It took three days. Yep.

33:00It was absolutely unbelievable. And Letterman talked about it last night. Anybody play tennis? You big tennis fans? Longest tennis match ever played a couple of days at Wimbledon. The thing was over 11 hours. It started yesterday, ended today. Took three days, really, to play this tennis match. And just one more thing that Obama couldn't figure out how to stop. Wow. Oh, Dave. Bubbles? You've got a lot of power. That's creeping me out so bad. It makes me feel like that. What's it? Is it okay if I come over to the house later today and me and you put on pajamas with feet? No. And we're ordering Mexican food. Weird, by the way, but no. No? No.

34:02And then we take, we will take a bath and we'll make bubbles in the bath. Do you know what I mean? Bubbles. I get it. Let's please. No. Mexican food and bubbles. No. Please. No. I'm going to beg you during the commercial break. When we come back, I'm going to tell you something. that will emasculate our friend Woodsy. Oh, right. We'll do that when we come back. Welcome to the roast. That's right. It's next on the Mikey Show. What does he mean when he says, I'm a vegetable in there? Does he say that? What? Is that when he goes, I'm a vegetable. I'm a vegetable. I was going to look up the lady. No way. I was going to look up the lady. I was pointing in time. I wonder what it is. Michael Jackson. I don't know if he says vegetable. All right, I'll let you Google it. She got so happy. Look at Elle, she gets so happy. We're doing all the Michael Jackson music today because today's the year anniversary of his death. We can't even believe it's already been a year. 5701949 is our number. Love to hear from you about anything. Especially wanted to hear from you if you're an iPhone guy and you got it or a girl and you got it and you like it or you don't like it or whatever.

35:51I just want to hear reviews on it. I'm growing a beard. What do you guys think? I like it. Rebecca said yesterday she likes it. I like it too. Huh. What'd you find? It says vegetable. What does it mean? Like what context? What does it say? It says, oh, okay. What are the lyrics? Okay. It starts, here's the vegetable bit. You're a vegetable. You're a vegetable. Still they hate you. You're a vegetable. You're just a buffet. You're a vegetable. Oh. They eat off of you. That's cool. I never knew the context. That's cool. I never knew the context. What's cool is that I didn't know. No, I don't mean the lyrics themselves knowing. I didn't know the context. What does that mean? It means like... It means like you're in a buffet. You're a vegetable. It might as well have said, you know... Why is he singing about buffets? No, he's singing... And why would you be one? He's singing they just like feast off of him because he's just kind of like stagnating. He's like a vegetable. Well, why is that cool, Maki? Yeah. I don't get it, Maki. I don't get it. Those are the worst lyrics I've ever heard. Ever. I'm a vegetable. I'm a vegetable. I like music, Maki. I hate you all. Hey, Ryan Adams would have never written that lyric. I like poetry, okay? Maki. I hate all of you. You guys are real Nietzsche over there. Real sweetly, Maki. Vegetable Maki. Oh, no. Stop banging your head against the mic. It's okay. 570-1949. That was nice that time. Thank you, Sierra. You're welcome.

37:17Thank you. You have great cans. Independence Jam. Yeah. Independence Jam is happening. FM 94.9's Independence Jam. Let's hear it for Independence Jam. This is going to be the bomb. It's presented by Miller Lite and Scion. Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros are going to be there. Rogue Wave is going to be there. The Wigs are going to be there. Delta Spirit, local band. Awesome band is going to be there. And it's $30. Are you kidding me? For all those. For all those bands. It's killer. It's like going to the movies twice. Yeah. That's exactly right. Or once. Yeah. Or once. Or several times. And getting a Coke. Yeah. $30? That's two Cokes at the movies. So it's happening on Sunday, August 29th, Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. Going to be really, really good. And you're going to kick yourself if you don't see this show. So tickets go on sale. Today? Correct? No. Yeah, I think so. They gave some away, and they did a pre-sale yesterday at a couple of locations, and then they are officially on sale this morning. The online start. Correct. Online sale start. Very nice. So get your tickets to Independence Jam. Go get them. Coastal Invasion, 2010. I'm getting mine, pal. That's right. Woodsy, nah, we don't have to make this turn into a roast or anything. Don't we? Don't we? Woodsy.

38:37It has a brand new office all set up at home. Let me tell you. You saw it. I saw it. Wow. Oh, mamacita. Oh, mamacita. Mamacita. Why do I sound drunk when you do it? It's just that it's so southern. It's so Southern that you can barely go, you're so Southern, I can barely understand through the accent. I am not Southern. He doesn't even really have an accent. I don't have an accent. But you do with some words, so we have to get you. Now, his office at home, which I saw, by the way, is absolutely beautiful. It's absolutely gorgeous. And all this furniture, this brand new furniture, it's beautiful. What's in there? Tell me. I want to know a couple things. When you walk in, I've got my Yankees wall. on the right. Weird. I've got all my autographs and stuff on the wall, you know, hanging and pictures of Yankee Stadium. Then when you, the coolest part is we took some really cool old country records and we hung them behind my chair. Oh. And they're on the wall. Waylon Jennings? Waylon's up there, Willie's up there. We hung them, took two people. Yeah, my bad.

39:44She hung them above the chair. And then I have a desk that has this cool little thing that juts out that you can put stuff on. And then there are bookshelves with all my books. Who built the furniture? Jamie. Oh, my gosh. By Bill, you mean put all the furniture together? Yes. All of it. What? What did you do? Every bit of it. What did you do? You helped her, right, though? No, I was in my office being dynamic. For your office? Being dynamic, he says. Yeah, I was doing show prep. Oh, my gosh. On the couch? No, I was in the office. She was putting together in the other room. And then I helped her move it in there. That was big of you. After it was done being put together. Oh, my gosh. She did all of it by herself. She put together a desk, a chair, and two bookshelves. Oh, my gosh. How long did it take her? Like one day? Yeah, four or five hours. Oh. You were in the other room, squinting, looking at your computer. Being dynamic. Yes. Taking some snuff.

40:42Really, what were you doing? I want to know. I was literally prepping for our meeting. For four hours? Squinting at the computer. Well, when you come prepared to a meeting with like 20 ideas, it takes a while. So that's what I was doing. Yeah. What he means, he was looking at YouTube of funny videos. Is there anybody else? Watching Spinal Tap. Any guys here, your ladies do the guy stuff? Mikey's. Yeah, Mikey's just like me. Absolutely. You know why. You guys know why, right? Why? Years ago, we bought a barbecue grill, and I was going to put it together in the backyard. I got, like, the frame built, and then you have to add this piece that slides, and this piece that does this. Well... And we also bought a patio furniture set that I tried to put together. I ended up kicking both of them to the ground, cursing, and running away, walking away. That's how I would be. We almost broke up. Yeah. Oh, my God. Because I am not handy. And I strip screws, and I break stuff, and I'm like, I just can't do this. I punch holes in walls because I'm just not good with tools. Wow. You're a big dumb animal is what you are. Well, you know, dude, the way I look at it is this.

41:55Kid puts the bread on the table. Oh, my gosh. I keep the roof over our heads, okay? That's what I'm good at. Jamie built the roof over your head. Didn't she want her to have delicate, dainty, womanly hands? Oh, I don't. Mom doesn't bother me about her hands. Oh, you have Mikey for that. She has great hands. She has great hands. She has great hands. But I'm just not good. Doesn't it take more of a man to admit? That he can't do something? Just keep telling yourself that. Doesn't it? Doesn't it? Can't or won't? Can't. Can't. Woodsy, I'm the same. I can't do it, Jeff. And for me, Rebecca, if I put something together, I don't do the big dramatic anger thing that Woodsy will do. But I will, if I can't figure something out, I'll be distracted by Captain, you know, I'll be distracted by Nemo. You'll just put it aside. Yeah. Not get to it. And it won't get done. I love putting stuff together. I could show you kind of what it looks like when I try it. Do you have a picture? No. No, like a fit that he would throw. Oh, what you would do? Yeah, I'll show you. You know you're not allowed to swear. She's going to break something. You realize that, right? Yeah, that's woodsy. I've seen that. I've seen that. I've seen it. I'm done. I'm done with this. And you know what you hear? You do it. Let me tell you what you hear. Really, really calmly, you hear this.

43:19I'll do it, dear. Yeah. I'll do it. Like real calm and quiet. I flip out. You hear Jamie go, I'll do it. I learned it from M1 Hawk, by the way. Your dad. Who is worse than me. He had to call an electrician for a light bulb that was out. Oh my gosh. He's like, there's something wrong with the light down at the dock at our lake house. Electrician came in and he goes, yeah, you gotta change the light bulb. Swear. That is so embarrassing. Oh my gosh. Swear. Unbelievable. Okay. Wow. We are not a handy family. Yeah, I told you that our dishwasher stank like somebody died inside of it. And we had to do something about it. And my mother-in-law was at the house. She goes, I'll take a look at it after dinner. So embarrassing. Your mother-in-law. My mother-in-law. And I said, I didn't know what was more embarrassing. The fact that I couldn't take care of this thing. Or the fact that I was so relieved when she said, I'll take a look at it after dinner. I don't know what was more embarrassing, but after dinner, she must have taken a look at it, because the next morning when I woke up, it was perfect. Oh, my gosh. It was working absolutely perfectly. Mama Jean fixed it. Mama Jean made it right. I'm just not, I'm not handy dude, and I'll admit it, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's all right. See, I was the handy dude around my house growing up. You were? Yeah. I don't know if it was a bit, though, if my parents would just, like, stroke my ego, so I thought.

44:44That you are great at it? Because my dad, every time they get like, because I used to take apart like VCR and stuff and see how it worked. So then it was like, okay, now I get to fix the vacuums. And then it was like, hey, we got this piece of furniture and you're just so good at it. Will you do it? Really? Yeah. That was a bit. Well, when I come home to visit, no, my dad will have stuff in boxes that he bought in January. I'll come home in the summer. And you'll build it? Can you put that together for me? Really? Uh-huh. Do you know that my dad bought me, for my birthday, he bought me a wheelbarrow? For, you know, doing garden stuff. You know what I do? What? I don't think I've ever said this. I will go to Armstrong Nursery and I'll get all this compost that I'm going to put in my garden. And I'll bring it home and it'll be in my trunk. And I go get our garbage cans because they have wheels on them. I get the garbage cans and I pile the compost on top of the garbage can lid. And I use the garbage can as a wheelbarrow. Good move. Yeah, it's resourceful. And... My dad saw this and he got me a wheelbarrow and I put it on the side of the house. It was in a box where it got rained on and all the cardboard on the box is like all sunk in, caving in around the wheelbarrow because I know I don't know how to put it together. Do you want me to come over and put it together for you? I would love it. I would love it. I could not. She could put it together in 15 minutes. I'd put it together and it wouldn't look like a wheelbarrow.

46:09Looked like a teapot or something. Yeah, it would. That's a really cool teapot. Like a turtle shell. Yeah, a tortoise shell. That's a nice sculpture of a turtle. It's embarrassing. It's really, really embarrassing that I can't do that stuff. Of course it is. It's embarrassing for every guy. It's so embarrassing. Is there guys listening right now that can't do stuff? 5701949. Just call to make us not feel as bad. No, it's bad. Yeah, or don't because you guys need to learn. Yeah, Jay says that because he can build and everything. Can you hit a fastball? I can. You just need to try, you guys. No, let's try. You don't try. Do it in the hallway right now. Do we have anything you can try with? I wish. I'll get stuff, though. We'll do it in the hallway. Please. All right. We'll bring some stuff, some really complicated stuff. Hey, from what I heard, you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat, pal. Wait. Oh, God. Who was it? Maybe me telling you that. Who was it that lost in the golfing bet? I'm pretty sure that was Woods who lost in the golf bet and JBE you. Is it? Did you eat Indian food? I did. It was delicious. Then you lost. It was delicious. Let's see. Let's have him bring a wiffle ball. Can you bring a wiffle ball? A wiffle ball and a bat. We'll do it out in the elevator. Can I throw as hard as I want? Yeah. Sure. Just don't hit me. It's a wiffle ball.

47:19It still hurts. You've ever gotten pelted with a ball? I've been hit with a real baseball in the chin. It doesn't hurt. That doesn't hurt. In the chin? Oh, wow. And my chin's hit me right in my chin. You were limping the other day because you hit your foot on a fin. You're tough. 570-1949. Sorry to rabbit hole. Jay, put your left hand up. He has seven fingers. No. I know what Mike is looking at. Do you know what I just noticed? What? Because it bothers me every day. Do it again. What? You notice anything, Lauren? Yeah. You have webbed fingers? Nope. He doesn't have a wedding ring on. Oh. Aren't you married? I am. I am. I've been married long enough that a ring doesn't necessarily have to be worn. Oh, stop it. It makes me mad that he doesn't wear it every day. It's the bit. You've noticed that? You've never said anything? I've said stuff to him. I'm like, put your ring on. Where's your ring? No. Are you not married anymore? I hate wearing rings. I'm always working with my hands, and it always gets hung up on stuff, or it tears your finger. I hate wearing jewelry. I don't like to wear anything on my fingers. I think you're being dramatic about getting hung up. Well, maybe you, because you're building tree houses and stuff. Tree houses going on. I've got lawnmowers I'm fixing. I get mine hung up on cheesesteaks. Why don't you just take it off when you're building stuff or doing something? I'm always doing something. Okay, so then I'm taking it off. Every time I'm building something, I'm putting it in my pocket, and then it's lost. Now I know where it is. Lauren O'Brien, you're telling me that that doesn't bother you? Well, I've learned, because I've lived here for a little while now.

48:48And sometimes when I'm single, I hit on guys. And then like 10 minutes into the conversation. Wait, wait, wait. To be fair. What? Sometimes when you're single, you hit on black guys. Let's be honest about it. Okay. So a lot of times, like 10 minutes into the conversation, it's, oh yeah, my wife, she loves that movie. I'm like, really? Where's the... It's like a Southern California thing or something. What? No, it is not. What are you talking about? I have found it to be pretty common. But you know what? I can sympathize with Jay because I don't wear anything. I don't wear bracelets or rings or anything. It's annoying. If you were married. You're telling me you wouldn't wear a wedding ring? I would wear it, but I'd probably forget. Like, my sister forgets all the time. She takes hers off and leaves it on the nightstand, and my brother-in-law's always like, where's your ring? Oh, yeah. Your sister also forgot to change her name when she got married. Yeah. Same sister. I don't think she forgot. I think she knew what she was doing. I wore a ring for, like, I actually wore out my first one.

49:45wedding ring. I wore it out. It wore through in the bottom, so I had to get a new one. What? Good Lord. I just wore through it. I mean, I've had it on for 23 years. I wore it for 15 years. Bro, this thing is four generations, and it's still going strong. See, I use my hands for something. Maybe don't get rings made of cheese. I do understand. When you're doing heavy work, you should take it off. And I surf. Yes, you should take it off. At work, just being dynamic, there's no reason. Usually I start my conversation off like this. Yeah, my wife and my kid. I immediately get into that conversation. Do you? Yeah. He does. He's a proud papa. When he got married, rings were made of wood, so he got worn out. Over the years, it got worn out. Jay, does Kim get mad at all? She got mad a little bit not too long ago. She goes, well, maybe I don't wear my ring. I'm like, hey, maybe don't. It doesn't bother me. I don't think a ring actually has to, you know, it's not going to stop you from cheating. Why don't you get a tattoo ring? How about you do that? I don't like tattoos either. Yeah. A friend of mine has some hybrid metal that's supposed to be stronger than titanium, and he has it fit around his finger where he can never take it off. Oh, God. He would have to chop his finger off, take the ring off. I know one guy besides Jay now. I know one guy besides Jay that doesn't wear his wedding ring. The reason he doesn't wear his wedding ring is because when he was in high school, he had a ring, okay? And he was, being a clown,

51:13And the tetherball court. Being a clown at the tetherball court. And he was going to... Your buddies with Napoleon Dynamite? Yes. He was going to do a fake slam dunk, right? And his ring caught on the top of it. And he was hanging. Mike, why do you tell us this? He was hanging by his ring. And it started to pull away. But because it's connected by such strong... cartilage and bone. It didn't. But they did have to call someone out while he was hanging there in quite a bit of pain. Bleeding. Mike! And get him off of the tetherball. I thought I had the worst tetherball story. Pulled the skin completely away from him. Oh my gosh. And so for that reason, he doesn't wear... Yeah, like a sheath. I wouldn't either. So for that reason, he doesn't wear rings. But now that's a legitimate reason.

52:10I'd wear one around my neck for my wife if I had to do something. Yeah. Now, if my wife didn't wear her wedding ring, it would hurt my feelings. It hurt my feelings. Why? Because it means something. And it tells the world. It tells them. It's an actual symbol to the world that, listen, I belong to someone. And I want the world to know that I belong to someone. And that's a deal. I agree. I mean, it means something. I'm old-fashioned. What? What is a look? Woods is looking at me like the whole belong to. The belong to bit? I was waiting for her to go. No. I'm saying, I mean, I'm saying I, me, I belong to somebody. And I like it to be known that I belong to somebody. I don't know if I would phrase it that way. I was waiting. I do, though. I mean, I belong to my wife, and I like the thought of my wife belonging to me. We belong to one another. We belong together. Yeah. See, it's okay, I think, for L.O.B. when I say that I belong to my wife. No.

53:11Really? I just don't, I don't know. Sounds like a Jewel song. That doesn't bother you either? I'm committed to somebody. I belong to her. And she belongs to me. She is my property. And I own her. 5701. So you guys, Eskimo Blue Waters impersonation. Yeah, that's my Eskimo Blue Waters impersonation. Very good. M1 Marcy from San Diego. Hi. Good morning, guys. Good morning. Good morning. I'm calling because my husband wears his wedding ring every day to work, and I don't. I'm a massage therapist. Oh, yeah. Why don't you take it off while you do your massage and then put it back on? She's afraid she'll lose it. I would lose it. Afraid you'll lose it? I'm in a break room with a lot of people, so I'd rather not take the chance of anything happening to it, you know? We got an idea. Why don't you put it on a chain and wear it around your neck? That's what I was going to say. Yeah. Tell my husband to give me a gift. property of my husband t-shirt. No, just get it tattooed across your forehead. Really? Now we're comparing a wedding ring property tattooed on a forehead. Maybe you go into law. Oh, stop it. Maybe you need to change your profession. Maybe I just get a leash. Maybe if she goes out to other places, keep it on. But I'm the same way. I would lose it.

54:34How about you don't take it off and you won't lose it? Would you like a massage with someone's diamond rubbing up against your back? Yes, I would. I get diamond massages all the time. You're saying there are massages that aren't like that? Those are the only ones I want to go to. Hello, you haven't had a diamond massage? Touche. Is the sapphire bath ready yet? I'm ready for my ruby facial. Oh, and a gold rubdown. Yeah. Give me a gold bar rubdown. Those are the best. That's where they take the gold bar and they really knead it into your back. The muscles, it really believes it. So nice. So nice. An exfoliating gold bar. You guys don't have Nivea gold bars? I have a Neutrogena gold bar at home that's so good. Maybe I make it right for you guys on your next birthday. Yeah, maybe. M1 Sean from San Diego. Are you there? Yep. Go ahead. Yeah, my wife wears her ring all the time, but for the last five to six years, I haven't been able to wear mine because I'm an aircraft mechanic. If I drop my ring in a $500,000 engine, I'm probably going to not have a job. Yeah, maybe you get a ring that fits. What's your girlfriend's name?

55:46Oh, wow. I'm just breaking your balls. Sean, why don't you get a ring that fits and doesn't fall off? Yeah, when are you going to drop your ring? Yeah, but it doesn't fall off. Yeah, but if his hands are in an engine, like, if it gets cold, if it gets cold, your fingers get skinnier. If it what? When you're cold, it constricts. Hey, listen. We live in San Diego. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. You guys. And guys, I've been in cold weather before. It's never just come full. Oh, my gosh. I better not come to Big Bear anymore. I heard that happen. Uh-oh. I hate Big Bear all the time here, right? Yeah, but when you do have your hands in like an engine or something, you don't want to even risk it. I could get caught on something and then bloop. Really? I understand where he's coming from. But when you go out to dinner or something like that, does she make sure you put it on? So you don't wear it to work. That's okay. Everyone at work knows he's married. I don't wear mine to surf and I don't wear mine to play baseball because it dents. If I hit, which I haven't been doing a lot of lately, so my ring's been fine, but it'll actually change the shape of the ring. Okay, I'm fine. If it's your job, whatever. I'm just saying.

57:06skinny dipping with a group of girls one time. Oh, my gosh. With girls. She is so wild. She's wild. You're worried about me. It was the hottest day of the year. Ooh, I bet it was. Too hot for a bathing suit. What are you, Huck Finn? Let's go jump in the river, guys. Huck Finn. As soon as I'm done whitewashing this fence, y'all want to go skinny dipping? How about we all take a switch, put a line on it, and we see if we can get some catfish? Oh, please. It's fun. Lauren. It's liberating. She throws it out like it's nothing. Yeah, we were skinny dipping one day with a group of Hawaiians and, you know, we were in Maui and we decided we were going to go skinny dipping. It was nighttime. Yeah. And? Well, one of my friends. I was making out with Martha Stewart. How did that even come up? It was me and three black guys in a bed. No! What? What are you talking about? What do you mean? You can't glaze over that. Speaking of playing toesies, I was in a bed with three black guys. What? Was random jumps in conversation. Well, I was going to get to it. Go ahead. One of my friends, she took her ring off. Yeah. And some.

58:14goofy guy friends of ours decided they were going to take our clothes. And so said ring fell out of the clothes into the sand into the night sky. And we found it, thank God. That's lucky. Because my friend would have had to explain, well, I was just skinny dipping and then some guys took our clothes. Yeah. It was no big deal. It was one time. One time I body painted the American flag on myself. Speaking of the 4th of July, guys. Oh, my gosh. She's the best. That's amazing. She's a gift that keeps on giving. 100%. It was a wedding ring story, wasn't it? Wasn't it? Wasn't it? You guys want to play Mitty Madness? Yeah. Let's play Mitty Madness. Love Mitty Madness. In fact, I'll make it kind of easy for you. Today, Mitty Madness will be all Michael Jackson stuff. Today is the year anniversary of his death. And so the music that we play that sounds like bad Casio keyboard, that's how you play the game. You just have to decipher what is that because it sounds like bad Casio keyboard. Call us right now, 570-1949. What kind of prize do we have today, Jay? We have tickets to see...

59:30Silver Sun Pickup. Oh, no, wait. Hold on a second. Let me recreate it. Silver Sun Pickup Swoon CD and a pair of Angel or Anarchy sunglasses. All right, cool. Call us right now. 570-1949. And let's hear it in the studio. Don't forget, Switchfoot will be playing an exclusive little acoustic set here in the studio with us. Coming up, too. Don't go away. Something about the way you say Maki is so great. Welcome back to Mikey's show. There are five people on the Mikey's show. Myself, Woods. Did that really just happen? Yeah, it really happened. I'm excited, Mikey. We got Lauren O'Brien, we got Sienna, and we got... Sorry, I'm dynamic. And we got Jay. Welcome back to the show.

1:00:53Here's the deal. Easy PYT. That's right. I'm going to do a little mini madness in just a second. That's right, Mikey says. That's right. Moving on. You are a PYT. Yeah, I am. Pretty young thing. You need some TLC? No, I'm good. I'm in town to love and care. Oh my goodness. Jay's birthday was last week. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Turned 47. 23. Thanks, thanks. M1 Nation, represented by M1 Danny, came in today and want to present Jay with some gifts. What did you bring, Danny, from M1 Nation, from M1Site.com? Some of the M1s just donated a ton of stuff, so we went, yeah. Well, first is the hat. What is the hat? The coolest hat ever. He looks awesome. That is so Jay. Straw beach hat. Straw beach hat. Straight up lifeguard style. So Jay. We got him a copy of Transworld Surf. There you go. Nice. That is me on the cover. Weird. It's in the barrel there. We got him a Reef calendar. Oh my god. Yeah, it's going right up in our office, Mikey. Mikey, right over your desk. If you don't know, Reef is known for having a lot of butts. Girl butts. Is that what it is? Yeah.

1:02:16Uh, we got him a... What? Hey, how about I get to have that? Mamacita! We also got him a reef surfing DVD. Nice. Oh, nice. There you go, Jaybird. How about that? We got him a framed picture of him and his wife. That's so sweet. That's awesome. Look at that dime. She's not bad either. That's a beautiful picture of you two. Thanks, Danny. That's so cool. And then we got you a bunch of goodies. Let's see, a bunch of surf wax. We got you the retro colors, too. He is retro. He is. Hey. Right here. And lastly, comb and some zinc for the summertime. Nice. For my big nose. I'm going to steal that. I love M1 Nation. They're the best. Thank you, M1Site.com, and thank you, M1 Nation. That is so cool of you. I love it. All right, let's do a little Mini Madness. Mini Madness is a game where we, what we're going to do is we are going to play for you.

1:03:20a song. It's going to be Michael Jackson stuff today. It's going to be played through a bad keyboard. That's what midis are. That's what it sounds like. It's like computer produced music. And all you have to do is tell us what song it is. M1 Sanjaya from San Diego is first up. How you doing? How are you, bro? Let me see. I think this is what I do. But I'm not sure. We'll find out. I'm going to play you the song, and Sanjaya, you're going to be playing against M1 Daryl from Lakeside. Are you there, Daryl? Yeah, I'm here. All right, cool. I'm going to play a song, and when you recognize it, I need you to say your name as loud as you can. You ready? Sounds good. Here we go. That's the worst. Can you guys hear that? Yeah, I'm barely coming through. Sanjaya. Sanjaya. No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're not allowed to touch the button. I know it. That's incorrect. That's incorrect, Sanjaya. That was Beat It. Beat It, dude. Sorry, man. Sorry, Sanjaya. We love you. M1 Juanito, are you there? Yes, sir. He said Mikey because simply because it's a person of Hispanic origin.

1:05:10Really? Woods is blushing. He's stealing my Mikey bin, putting it to bad use. M1 Katie? Why, hello there. How are you? He's fantastic. Good evening. Good evening. Good evening. All right, so we got M1 Juanito and M1 Katie on the line. When you recognize the song from Michael Jackson, you need to say your name, use your name as a buzzer, and here we go. Juanito. Juanito. Juanito. Billy Jeans. That is correct. Very well done. Does Juanito mean Little Juan? Really? I'm serious. I'm curious. It's actually a joke. What do you call a Mexican with one knee and one toe? Juanito. Juanito. That's awesome. Little Juan. All right. Thank you, Juanito. Katie, you won. Hang on the line.

1:06:21The Juanito one. Oh, good, because I just hung up on him. And I kept Katie on the line. Congratulations, Katie. I told you, it's a coffee thing. Juanito, you need to call us back. I'm sorry. All right. It's a coffee thing. We'll take care of it. Juanito, call back. Oh, my gosh. He even told us a great little joke. I know. He did. Okay, pal. See you later. Thanks for playing, dude. This is the My Key Show, not the Juanito Show. That's right. We're stealing our bits, pal. M1 Ivan from National City. Hey, guys. How are you doing? Good, doing good. You're going to be playing M1 Ryan. Ryan, are you there? You betcha. All right. Are you guys ready? Let's do it. Michael Jackson songs, use your name as a buzzer. Here we go. Wow. Ryan. Ryan. That personal touch. I know the word. Can't tell you the name. Ryan. I think you had the wrong band. Band, yeah. Invisible touch is Genesis.

1:07:24Yeah, that's what we were playing. No, we were actually playing a Michael Jackson song called Black or White. Mikey's show on 94.9. That's a good effort, though. He did. I mean, he tried to sing it and all that. Sorry about that, Ryan. I'm sorry, Ryan. Ivan, that instantly makes you a winner. Can you hold on the line? Yeah. He is very low-key this morning. He is super low-key. Ivan is like me. He has not had his coffee yet. His barstucks. That's right. Gridiron, are you there? Not too much. Now that is an awake man. That's enthusiasm. I like it. M1 Jesse from San Diego? Yep. You are going to be playing Gridiron, and you are our last contestants this morning. Are you ready? Remember, it's Michael Jackson songs, and as soon as you recognize it, you just yell out your name. Got it. Here we go. Gosh. I got it. Jesse. Jesse. Stop till you get enough. That is right, dude. Jesse, way to play the game. Sorry about that other guy. Gridiron. I'm telling you, dude, I am completely out of it today. Perfect. He won. Does Mikey owe a dollar for hanging up on one knee? Yeah, I do. Yes. 100%. I absolutely do. Yes. She's literally keeping tabs over there. Well, she has to. It's kangaroo court.

1:09:01And in kangaroo court, if any of us make a mistake on the air, we owe a dollar, and then at the end of the year, we're going to give all the money to Rady Children's and do that as kind of a charity thing. But I wonder who owes the most. Me. How much, Lauren? I owe three. We've only been doing the game for 12 minutes. No, for two days. I owe three. Mikey owes two. Yeah, the host. I bet you I'll end up owing the most. How long have you been in radio as opposed to me? That's very true. That's very true, but I guarantee you just jinxed yourself by saying that. I guarantee. Mike, who else? Everybody else owes one, but you technically should owe like $100 for being late. Hey, listen, the fact that I didn't get my coffee today is going to make sure that I owe $12 by the end of the show. Yes. Yeah, why did you not get your coffee today, Mike? Because Woodsy and I drove in together. Why? Why did you guys drive in together? Because that's so weird. Because we live right next to each other. Oh, really? Okay, but that threw off your whole routine, and you're a man of routine. We know this. It was worth it, though, so they can just...

1:10:11Riding together real sweetly. They were apart since dinner last night. When you have a number one morning show, what you want to have is good chemistry. Between the whole cast. What are we going to do? Are we all going to jump on the coaster and commute in together? I'm on the way. I'll pick you up every morning. But you're like, I don't want to hang out with them. Am I? I like to drink organic tea and listen to Mumford & Sons on my drive-in. Kids blasting cigs, hitting deftones on the way in. He sure is. What did you do? Call Mike? Hey, bud, I'm outside. Beep, beep. Texted him. He texted me and said, hey, bud, I'm outside. Oh, my gosh. And little Cubby was walking down. He had his hands full. He had his lunch pail and a birthday cake and his murse. And he was walking down. And I had to reach over and unlock the door. Can I do a quick rabbit hole?

1:11:08For a dollar. It's real quick. It's real quick. It's worth it. I saw in your lunch pile today. What? You've been upgraded. You brought a salt and pepper shaker with you. Oh, my God. I bring in hard-boiled eggs, and they've got to have salt and pepper. What are you supposed to do? What do you mean? He used to have the little paper packets, and two days ago, he holds up the salt packet to me in paper, and he goes, L-O-B. What am I supposed to do with this? Yeah. Mikey, you're like Claire from The Breakfast Club, dude. I'm not. You are. Your little bento box of sushi every morning. You ever hear of a sandwich? How about a sandwich and a bag of chips? Dude, I'm staying healthy. I'm eating the same thing. You can have a healthy sandwich. You can always pack your boyfriend to lunch. Yeah. Okay, and speaking of your bromance, I did a little something in honor of you guys. Oh, great. Yes. I don't like surprises. I don't either. I've been working on it because I feel that it's needed. What? It's a little song that I wrote just for the two of you. Are you going to play guitar? No. What are you going to do? It's a song. Jay has it. Jay has it. He loaded it for me. It's a real song. Just listen. It's about your love for each other. What's it called? Page two. Bromance. Bromance. Wow, perfect. Oh. Turn it up. Turn it up nice and loud.

1:12:32I'm already going to hate this. Oh my God, I'm sick. Oh wow!

1:13:48Talk about Dallas. You are both blue, all right. Wow. Wow, that is unbelievable.

1:14:33I'm embarrassed. Those are some professionals getting after it right there. And how did you get Lauren's future husband to sing that song? I asked him. I said, look, LeBron, I'm going to need your vocals for a minute. Seriously. That is fantastic. I'll hook you up with L.O.B. after you make this right for me. Holy cow. I would love it. That was... The most embarrassing yet funny thing that I've heard in a while. No doubt. Oh, my God. You guys know that you're going to listen to that on the way home together. Holding hands. Yeah, we are driving home together. Yeah. So we're going to burn that on CD. You should. Pinky swear. We should make that downloadable. You should do it and then light some candles and then have some beef and rice. Or beans and rice. Beans and rice is what I said. Maybe you throw a dollar in it. I thought it was beef and rice. I thought that's what it was. Why would it be beef and rice? Do you need to borrow a 20? Like right now. Do these enchiladas come with beef and rice? Is that the deal? I like my burritos with beef and rice. I'll take the number three plate.

1:15:46That's the carne asada with beef and rice. Well, now I realize it was a stereotypical comment, and I wouldn't have made it. Michael, make it right. Beans and rice. Guess who's on the phone. Who? Your little dog, Sonny. What do you call him? Senior Beans. He's on the phone. You want to talk to him? Some beans and rice? Of course I want to talk to him. Speaking of beans and rice. Little Sonny. Hey, Daddy. Hi, buddy. What are you doing? How do you do? I'm doing great. I'm at work. I was calling you because. Do you know what today is? No, what is today? Today is take your doggy to work day. Oh. What? How come you not take me with you? You can probably blame Mikey for that. He probably wouldn't want me to bring you in. Why do you say so? Penny Bell came in that one time. Penny Bell was in her bag and nobody even knew she was here. Yeah, but what's up with the comment about Mikey that doesn't make sense? Mikey would probably get really upset if I brought you into work. Oh, that makes Mikey into a bad guy, or what? No, I think, you know, some people just aren't as tolerant of dogs as others are, and Mikey's one of those guys. Mikey's the most loving person I've ever made in my life. I thought you loved me the most, Signor V. I do love you the most. Can I ask you a question? Sure. You bring me something home. I will bring you. What I'm going to do is we have a little thing we have to do after work, and I'm going to stop, and I'm going to get some jerky.

1:17:14Oh, my gosh. I'm going to get some jerky for you. I'm going to get some jerky. Is your leg moving up and down right now? When will you be home? Probably about 1.30. Not too late. That's too late. No. No, it's okay. Hey, Papa? Yeah. Papi, Mama Jamie is chopping again. She's chopping again? Was she chopping parsley? Dicing onions? No, she do online shopping. Oh, online shopping. It's shopping, Bubba. That's what I said. No, you said shopping. No, I said shopping. Oh, okay. I say she online shopping. What's she buying? Tomato, tomato, what'd she get? Maybe you clean the wax out of your ears. Oh, my goodness, Senior Beans. Maybe you don't get any jerky. No, don't say to me this. You bring the jerky at 10.30? I'll bring the jerky at 1.30. I love you so much, Bobby. I love you too, Bobo.

1:18:20Senior Beans, are you going to share the jerky with your brothers and sisters? Who is this large-breasted person talking about? How do you know what I look like if you're on the phone? Because I can tell by the sound of your voice. You're from La Jolla. Yes. I can tell. Did you know Senior Beans is also psychic? Senior Beans. Let me think here. I'm getting that you are from La Jolla. Yes. White with 20s. And you are also somebody where they don't just run. Maybe we mark this day down as not just the anniversary of the King of Pop, but also the day that you put on your calendar next year. Maybe you take me with you. Next year, I will run it by Mikey if he could, you know, get rid of his cloaks and his robes and maybe let a dog come into the studio. I bet Mikey would let senior bands come in. Yeah, I'll bring Zipper, too. Hey, puppy. Yeah. What time you bring the jersey? 1.30. You are so good. I love you so much. You're so good to me. I love you so much. I love you. I love you, too. Senior Bean. I love Senior Bean. I love when he calls me. He's like, it's like talking to every uncle I've ever had. Mama Yamey. Mama Yamey is so sweet. He rats out Mama Yamey. Yeah, he does. He really does.

1:19:49This is Michael Jackson stuff today because it's the anniversary of the death of Michael Jackson. L.O.B. throwing in all Michael Jackson stuff. Man in the Mirror. You guys want to hear Alex Trebek auto-tune? Yes. We'll do it when we come back. Gaglione brothers brought in sandwiches today, and they are delicious. Thank you so much. Thank you. Nobody can clap because they're feasting. Everybody has one in their hands. Yeah, I know it. Lauren is picking the music today because she does, but she's picking all Michael Jackson stuff.

1:21:11Because today's the year anniversary of the death of Michael Jackson, which we were all talking about this morning. Can't believe it's already been a year. It's one of those deals, too, where there's a lot of people that say, oh, who cares, blah, blah, blah. Interesting thing is every one of those people knows where they were when they heard. Of course. The reason you do is because he was that big a star. And I do love the music. There's no doubt about it. I love that stuff. Five people on The Mikey Show, myself, Woodsy, Lauren O'Brien, Sienna, and Jay. You can call. Our number is 570-1949. Or you can text 949mikey at gmail.com. Alex Trebek and Jeopardy did a deal the other day where they auto-tuned Alex. Alex meets auto-tune. You have to identify the song I am performing with technological help.

1:22:15I have to try Alex Meets Auto-Tune 200. Pay attention, players. And the child takes the nice. The child takes the nice. High for the carrier. The child takes the nice. Unbelievable. How great is that? Wow. He's so serious. He is. I was thinking that as he was talking. I'm like, Alex Trebek is the most serious cat in the world. I couldn't have told you, by the way. Really? Well, no, no, no. I recognize the song. I couldn't have said that that song is called what? The Farmer and the Dell. What's a Dell? Hi-ho the Dario, the Farmer and the Dell. What's a Dell? What is a Dell? Oh, it's Sales Girl. Sales Girl that works here. Computer. Yeah, a Dell. It's a farmer with his Dell. Yeah, a farmer with his Dell. A farmer with his Dell. Lex Mead's Auto Tune 400. Listen. I come from Alabama with my bench on my knee. Excuse me. Susanna, right? Susanna. It's my theme song. It is? That's right. That's right. Oh, Susanna. Oh, it's hard to understand. She's from me. Take out your. Oh, my God. Take your retainer out. Okay. Can't understand. Okay. That's a lot of spit. I was going to say that was my theme song. That is. My grandmother used to sing that to me. She did. Yeah, she said, oh, Susanna.

1:23:39That's so cute. Susanna's 27. She works in our accounting department. She does. Still an intern. Yeah, still an intern. Details, Woods. Yeah. And she has a big crush on our boy, Woods. What? No, I thought you were going to talk about the soda I was drinking was a big crush. I don't have a crush on Woods. Don't you? Don't you? No, he's a married man. You know that. So that would be wrong. Yeah, that would be weird. Yeah, she uses my bits. Woods-isms, right. Oh, because he's the first person that's ever said, you know that. Well, he is on this show for sure, yeah. Details, Mike. What is it? Oh, Susanna. Back to Auto-Tune 600. What is that? Yeah. Battle Hymn of the Republic? I know what it means. It's awesome. Paul. What is the Battle Hymn of the Republic? Oh, you got it in just in the nick of time. That's Autotune 800. When Israel was in Egypt's land. Is that Istanbul? No, that's Canaan's land. Really? You guys are smart. Remember? I thought it was the Istanbul.

1:25:03That's Alex Trebek. I love that. It just goes to show you, if you can make Alex Trebek sound like that, you can pretty much make anyone a pop star. That's fine with me. It really is. I mean, as long as it's pleasant to my ears, I don't really care. You don't need people anymore. Let's just use robots. You kind of make a point, though, Woods. You know, it isn't really all that pleasant to hear Alex Trebek singing that way. It's funny. What that must mean then is that you have to kind of be able to be good in addition to the autotune in order for it to be okay. They were just trying to make it harder for people to figure out. You think Lil Jon sounds like Frank Sinatra when he sings? No, but I don't think Lil Jon is supposed to. Lil Jon's like, yeah! Pass the guacamole. What? It makes it funny. I think that... I think that maybe you just proved the point for autotune and artists. No. I kind of have to agree with you, Mike. I mean, I think it's... That was a bit... It was trying to make it... If it was just easy, you know, it wouldn't be a Jeopardy question. I like it. Listen. Amazing. That's pleasant.

1:26:23Oh, that sound in my ears. She's good. That song, she's good. Imogene Heap is good. I like that tune. Yeah, but the effect is not. Still, it's very weird. You don't, that isn't a pleasant sound to you? No. That instrument? Because autotune is basically an instrument now. Is it? Yeah, but basically. It's a piece of technology. You can use or you can abuse autotune. You can use autotune to put somebody in key the whole time or you can use it. I love that sound. Get it again. Oh, this is not the good version. We're so wrong, wrong, we're so wrong. I would like to give that a shot. Such a great song. I'd like to go into a studio and just go, what you been doing? You're a good singer, Mike. And just see what it sounds like all auto-tuned. That's cool. We should do that. Yeah. Mikey, show auto-tune? Yeah, I would love it. Ryan Adams would never do auto-tune. Most people are wondering. Whiskey Town, Mikey. Yeah, Mikey, you think Whiskey Town would ever do that?

1:27:24Bad Blake Mocky. You think Bad Blake would ever use auto-tune? No, but Bad Blake has to pee into a milk carton. I'm just saying. That's all I'm telling you. That's the deal. It's funny how falling feels like flying. 570-1949 is the number. Okay, so Michael Hastings is the reporter from the Rolling Stone magazine that interviewed... the general that just got had to resign. Yeah, McChrystal. It was the article in Rolling Stone magazine that got him in all the trouble. Well, here's the guy that interviewed him. His name is Michael Hastings, and he went on Larry King. And Larry asked him, why would he let you do this in the first place? I think one of the main reasons was they wanted to reach a different demographic.

1:28:22than they had during the other profiles. A number of young officers read Rolling Stone. So I think by featuring General McChrystal in a magazine like that, they figured they would reach an audience that they normally wouldn't reach. Interesting. Very interesting to me. You know, when things are really, when they do things really out of the box like that, to me, gets me. Larry asked if he felt bad for General McChrystal after the interview. Well, obviously, General McChrystal is a very impressive individual in many ways, and I write about that in the story. He's a great warrior, so to speak. He's the kind of person you actually do want out there fighting wars on behalf of the United States. I think the problem becomes, in my view, is when guys like General McChrystal, who've spent their last nine years fighting these wars, when war becomes your life. I think it's very difficult to have the proper perspective to be able to create a fully balanced policy. And I think that's what's happened here. The policy... You lost me. Yeah. He just weakened the country, pal. Yeah, you think... I kind of think so. I think so. You think who the general did? The interviewer. Oh, yeah. Well, but you got to hold McChrystal accountable for what he did, right? Of course. Yeah.

1:29:42Yeah, and he didn't expect the interviewer that he was going to give an answer like that. Yeah, in fact, they asked him that exact question. Did you expect it? I knew that there would probably be some sort of response, but my sort of thinking was, okay, maybe there'll be, you know, one or two or three days. A tom-tom boy? Yeah. Maybe it'll create somewhat of a headache for General McChrystal's staff, but they, in the past, had much worse. or at least had seemed to have gone through much worse sort of cycles in the media. He didn't think it would get him fired. He obviously wouldn't say it if he thought it would get him fired. Woodsy. Yes. Most embarrassing thing you were into when you were a teenager. When you were a teenager? Think about yours, Sienna. Doesn't everyone have to? I don't want to tell it. It's so bad, I don't want to tell it. My eyes just lit up. Oh, this is going to be good. This is going to be great. Let me get comfortable. Let me tell you. This is when you know that a story is good. When the person goes. And then nothing comes out. And then they can't. Their brain goes. Their brain seizes and says, no, this will make you throw up. You can't eat it. Don't do it. That's the same concept. I have a friend listening at work right now. His name is Kevin. He's my best friend. We've known each other for 25 years. And I bet you he knows what I'm going to talk about.

1:31:11We got really into rap music when we were younger, and Public Enemy was our favorite. We loved Public Enemy. Hardcore, right? Yeah, like hardcore, like Black Power, that bit. Yeah. You're the whitest guy I know, by the way. Yeah. I bought a... The clock. Oh, my God, no. I can't even say it. I bought a Malcolm X hat. No! He just ran out of the room. He turned beet red. He turned beet red. He's gone. He turned the color of a tomato and he ran out of the studio. Wait, I don't even... Wait, a Malcolm X hat? Isn't that Eminem's story? A Malcolm X hat. Picture, like, teenage Woodsy. Were you a chubby? He's back. How old were you? Were you a chubby teenager? No. I don't know, it makes a difference. I was 100 pounds. How old were you? 14, 13, 14, 15. Wearing a Malcolm X hat. Wow. I thought of it the other day, and I was like, well, here goes nothing. Wow. Malcolm X. It was a black hat with a white X. I wore it, like, every day. I wore it a lot. Did you know who Malcolm X was? Of course. We were all into that fight for power. Yeah, right. He was a young black kid. Yeah. And he just wanted to, like, show. Growing up in the suburbs of Colleyville, Texas.

1:32:32I think Eminem wrote a song about that. Doing the same thing. Wow, man. Woods. I'm sick to my stomach for having told that story because now there'll be like Photoshop pictures of me in an ex hat. How long did you wear the hat for? Dude, I was like, I was like, I thought I was black. I was like. Maybe L.O.B. would have dated me then. Oh, my God. That explains the peace. Yeah. All right. What? Jay! You're not supposed to say that? It's a lower half. But no, so I literally was like, dude, I wore... Do you guys remember Yaga? No. No? It was like these, like... Wasn't he the guy? Oh, yeah, he was Luke Skywalker's apprentice. No, that's Yoda. Mentor. It was like this. Something you do on a mat and exercise? It was like this Rastafarian. I owe $3. It was this Rastafarian brand, and it was like red, green, and yellow. Yeah. And it was like, Yaga, love, and then with my ex hat. I'm going to kill myself. Oh, my gosh. I'm going to kill myself. I got to see pictures of this. I don't know if there's any, but, dude, I had this hat, and I was like, yeah, you're damn right.

1:33:36That's fantastic. Yeah, Public Enemy was our favorite. I bet he is crying at his cube right now. Fight the power. 570-1949. Call in, dude. Call us and tell us the most embarrassing thing that you were into as a teenager. I liked CB radios. Weird. I don't know what that is. CB radios? Yeah. Oh my gosh, you don't know what that is? I'm sorry, people. Sue me. A CB. Breaker, breaker, one nine. Yeah, I don't know. This is Cubs Esparza coming to you live. In diesel trucks, okay, like truck drivers, 18 wheelers, okay, they have these portable radios. Like a cop? Yeah, like a cop. Okay, then I know what that is, but I didn't know what it was called. Well, a cop doesn't talk on the CB, though. Cop doesn't talk on a CB. Cop is on a thing that's just for cops. They can only communicate with each other. CB is public airwaves. Okay? And you get on there and you press the little button. And anyone can hear you? Yeah. Mainly you talk to truck drivers. Looks like we got ourselves a convoy. Very Brady sequel or something. Sorry, that's the only thing that comes to my mind. Yeah. She does it. She does it. You go, you know, breaker breaker one nine. So did you just like the idea of them or did you have one? There was a whole community of us. What? We had one. Where did you meet?

1:35:04Where did we meet? Yeah. You didn't. Well, yeah, I mean, you talked on the CB. But I thought you said there was a community of you. There was. You didn't go to, like, a mess hall? Did you guys have a handshake? Why would I go to a mess hall? Why would you just assume we're going to just eat? You don't remember? Yeah, this song. This was, like, the big... You remember this one? No. You don't? Oh, my gosh. Really? Man, me and you, Jay, we're old. I still sing this song. People are like, what are you doing? This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. There's a big movie called Convoy, and it was about CBs and truck drivers and Breaker Breaker 1-9. What would you say into them? I had a friend. What you had for lunch and stuff? I hate those. I just had the number one. I really recommend it. Here's the deal. A friend of mine had what they called a base unit. And a base unit was different than the mobile unit. The mobile unit went in your car or in your truck when you drove the 18-wheelers.

1:36:16So I was, like, fascinated by it, that you could get on it and press the little button and talk to people. You could hear, like, real people. You could hear people. Would you say things? What was your handle? Mikey, what was your handle? What was your handle? Oh, my God. Everybody had one. Everybody had a handle. My handle was Journey. Say it. Say the whole thing. It was Journey. Like the band. Well, what would you say, like, when you signed on? Here we go. Break. That's it? Break or break or one nine. Somebody would come back. Somebody would go. Break, come back. Yeah, come back. What's your 20? Where are you? We're over by the McDonald's. Weird. What would you say, Mike? You used it to report where police were if you're going down the street. We had one in the car, so you'd talk. Hey, you got any reports on Smokies? This is American Eagle. American Eagle? Yeah. My dad was a boy. This country was a better country when people had CBs in their cars. CBs. I'm telling you. My grandpa had one. Have you never heard of one? I know what a CB radio is, but I didn't know that.

1:37:29People would sit in their houses. Oh, yeah. Not only did I sit in the house and talk on it because I was too overweight to get girls. What I would do is I would have these special microphones that you would get for the CV. I had a bass standing microphone. And I also had a very big antenna. Show off. Who was your producer then? Did he come in, put your mics and stuff together? Did your dad just walk by, look in the room and just go, My dad always tells the stories that I used to mess with the truckers. That was my bit. What would you say to them? I would talk like Dr. Ruth and stuff, and they'd get really upset. That's genius, Mikey. I think you mean baby Ruth. No, I think I mean Dr. Ruth. I don't know who Dr. Ruth is. That's a dollar, Sienna. How is that a dollar if I don't know what it is? She doesn't know what Dr. Ruth is. That's not a dollar. That's a dollar. Maybe we're not that old. Maybe these people just don't know anything. Yeah. Dr. Ruth was. I can't even do it anymore. But she was a sex therapist. She was an old lady. She was like 70 years old. And she would give sex advice. It was Dr. Ruth. She still does, I think. What? She can't still. She'd be 119 years old. She's still alive, bro. Are you kidding? She's on like love lines sometimes. When you are Frenching a young man. You've got to remember. No way.

1:38:52Nibble on the lip a little bit when you are Frenchy. Yeah. Don't forget to go behind the ears. People listen to her? Oh, she was world famous. Like, was she good? World famous. Back in the day in the 80s, Dr. Ruth was a big deal. And so I'd go on the CB and I would talk to truckers and mess with them and they'd get really upset. That's genius. Yeah. Now, they had this thing where they could pinpoint your location. So I used to have to... Scramble it? No, I used to have to, like, if I thought they were getting closer. Because the actual sound of them coming out of your speakers would get higher or lower or whatever. And so when I knew that they were getting closer, I'd have to stop. Wow. Because you'd think they were going to come to your house and beat you up. Yeah, I was 14 years old in my parents' house. You know, I'd get in trouble. That was like when I used to prank call people. And then one time this guy was like, you know. I've already called the police. They're tracing you. I've reversed it, and they're going to be there any minute. His name is Charlie. Oh, yeah. We thought for days that Charlie was just going to strike and show up with police officers. Task force? Yeah. And bust L.O.B.? We prank called them all the time. What kind of prank call did you do? Everything. Like, what was your bit? I would do voices and stuff like that. Do you remember any? Like, what you would do? Oh, she does. She does. She does. She does.

1:40:15Mine gold. One's really bad, though. I can't even say it. Okay, well, don't do the ones you can't do, but can you do any of them? Um, no. No? Wow. They're so bad. Wow. Bad like me or bad like... Like I used... Are they bad like me? You have to explain. Well, okay. There was a 1-800 number that I accidentally dialed one time and I figured out it was one of those voicemails. How do you accidentally dial an 800 number as a child? I don't know. I think I was trying to call like a teen hotline or something. And I accidentally dialed it and it was this woman's, her name was Jane, bleep out the last name, and it was like voicemail. And you could leave a message and then be like, to hear your message, press one. And so I would like listen to myself and crack up and then do like another one. And then I would decide what the best one was and send it through. And I called her on, like, a daily basis several times. Oh, my gosh. And one day when I called, you couldn't do it anymore. She must have blocked that feature or something. Do you know Benny Hinn? Uh-uh. Remember Benny Hinn, the television minister with the weird hair? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We used to call that dude.

1:41:2150 times a night. Did you really? Yeah, dude. No way. We used to call that guy and fillet him. And you got on the air. Not on the air, not with him, but his handlers. Yeah. We would fillet those guys. When I first moved here, someone gave me Pauly Shore's number at a bar. He was like, hey, look, I have Pauly Shore's number. I was like, 20. Three? Yeah. And I would prank call him. You would prank call Pauly Shore? Yeah. Oh my gosh, Lauren. Did you ever talk to him? No, it would always be his voicemail. But you're used to that bit. Yeah, then I called it and it was like, the number you have dialed is not in service. No, Lauren. Lauren forced Pauly Shore to have to change his phone number. Oh my gosh. I love prank calls. They're the best. That is fantastic. I've been asking for so long to get prank calls on here. To get prank calls on where? On the Mikey Show. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. You'll let me? I'll let you do a prank call. Yes! I would love it. 570-1949 is our number if you want to prank call us. Please prank call us. Mayor of Los Angeles apparently has taken a lot of freebies and he's getting in a lot of trouble. And I have a clip of him defending it. And Switchfoot will be in the studio to perform. So don't go away.

1:43:12Welcome to the show. I'm O'Brien picking the music today. Do a little black or white. It's Michael Jackson. Today's the year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. And so all the music that we're doing, the bumper music in and out of commercials today is Michael Jackson music. Let's have a big round of applause in the studio for Switchfoot. And first of all, I have got to say thank you to them because they... Came in, they brought coffee for everybody. Awesome. It was a really cool move, and they came in, brought a bunch of coffee. We're supposed to be giving them coffee. They're not supposed to be bringing us coffee. I know it. I know it. It's so cool. It's very nice. People need their caffeine. That's right. We have a rider for you guys. Yeah. We have a rider. That's why you guys come. That's right. John and Drew are in here with us, and the really cool thing is that you guys played a show last night, and you're still...

1:44:08You were still able to get up this morning, come in here and do this, which is really cool. You guys played, and I make the same mistake, I always say the Del Mar Fair. Now it's the San Diego Fair, right? I called it that last night the whole time we're playing it. San Diego County Fair. It's both. So you guys played the fair last night, and how was the show? It was so fun, man. I had this moment on stage where... I remembered I graduated from high school. And you know how you have that grad night thing where you stay out all night. Oh, yeah. And I go, you know, the sun's starting to come up. And me and my buddies are like, let's go surfing. This is great, you know. Perfect time to, you know, catch it. And we surfed Dog Beach right there in Del Mar. And as I'm up on stage looking out at Dog Beach. I'm thinking, wow, there's a lot that has transpired. It's amazing. I got chill. That's amazing, man. That's one of those moments where you just kind of, you take a look at what's going on around you. And you know what's so crazy about you just saying that right now? When you said that, this is what came to my mind. My wife threw a surprise birthday party for me. And all these guys were there. A couple people even in the room were there. And I was, she got me, man. I did not see this coming.

1:45:26I did not see this coming. And she had so much cool stuff planned there. But one of the things that she did was she had them burn a CD of all my favorite music. And I was telling somebody this recently. I was actually telling my shrink. I said to my shrink, I go, she said, how was your birthday party? I heard you say that you had a surprise birthday party. I said, it was great. She said, tell me about it. i said uh it was really cool and i was kind of getting choked up and she said what's got you choked up i said there was a moment where i actually realized what was happening around me and it was just like what you just said the ironic thing is is that my wife burned all my favorite music and it was the song this is your life off of uh the beautiful letdown is that the name of the song this is your life and uh

1:46:23I went through so much stuff back in December. You know, it was a really hard time in my life, December. And this surprise birthday party was so amazing. And I saw all my friends around me and there was a moment where I heard you singing, this is your life. And I went, oh my gosh. And it just hit me like a ton of bricks of like, this is a moment of happiness. Like I'm experiencing at this moment, happiness right now in this very moment. It was to your music, your guys' music. So you telling that story, there's kind of an irony in it, you know? Because that was the last time that I had that experience. But anyway, it's great to have you guys in here. And I got to tell you, it was so difficult. But Hello Hurricane bullied The Beautiful Letdown as my favorite Switchfoot record. It was so hard because I have such an emotional attachment. I have such an emotional attachment to the album, The Beautiful Letdown. And this album, Hello Hurricane, is as close to perfect as you can get for a record in terms of how complex it is, how absolutely stunning the lyrics are, musically, where it goes.

1:47:52So, so good. It's so good. Thank you. Every single song. You're going to give us big heads, man. I'm telling you, John, every song on that record is good. And it's one of those deals where it's sort of, and I think I've said this to you before, Beautiful Letdown was a soundtrack of my life at a point in my life, and the same thing. You know, I give my testimony at the end of the show on Fridays, and I... I always play a different song. And about four weeks ago, I played Always as one of the songs that I chose. And the reason was I was, you know, when I was going through that time where I was getting through all the stuff, I was driving one morning. I was just driving around. I'd take every morning. I'd go out and pray. I'd drink a cup of coffee. And I was trying to put together a crew, a cast, you know, because I was putting them together. I was really into the record. It had just come out. I was listening to the record. And that song always hit me like a freight train. I mean, just like an absolute freight train. We've played it here on the air a few times. And people's reaction to that record is so strong and so powerful. And you know me, I always like to ask you about writing songs and stuff.

1:49:16Can you do a little VH1 storyteller for us and tell us about that song? Yeah, yeah. So I wrote that one actually on my parents' piano. Really? Yeah, because I used to play piano when I was a kid, and then I got super into Zeppelin and decided that Zeppelin didn't have any piano ballads. And so who needs a piano, you know? Let's play guitar. Right. Learn stairway and... That's pretty much it. Kind of typical story. But then the other day, I was at my folks' house, and there was a piano right there. I think it was Thanksgiving gathering, something like that. And I just started hammering away on the piano and thinking about back when I was a kid and the innocence that you have. So that's what the first verse is about. This is the day you were born, all those types of things. And then... For me, the deeper story underneath that song, I was reading Viktor Frankl. He's a guy who wrote Man's Search for Meaning. He was a student of Freud, but he survived the Holocaust. And that forever changed the way he looked at man and his search for meaning. He wrote a book about it called that. So for me...

1:50:40that informs a song as well. Like the idea that even pain, even the hardships that we have, you can't take those things away from us. They define who we are. And then for me, I think the kind of the turning point of the song is the line, every breath is a second chance and it is always yours. So that for me, that's kind of like the turning point where it kind of like resolves in a way that that is worth singing about. Does a song like that write itself quickly, or does it take a long time? I'm trying to remember. That one, I think it was pretty quick, and then maybe a few minor changes at the end. You guys are going to play today. Yeah, you know what? How about we play that one? You know what I mean? I normally play it on piano, but I think we can play it on acoustic. Yeah, man, that would be awesome. See if I can remember the chords.

1:51:45This is a star. This is your heart. This is the day you were born. This is the sun. These are your lungs. This is the day you were born. And it is also places we've been torn. And it is also... Oh, that's so good. That is so, so good. Kid tear up a little bit. I know. Yeah, me too. For sure. Well, listen, when you guys get together in a room and you guys start writing, is that process a difficult process or is that a process where it just always comes pouring out? I know with this record, you guys wrote pretty prolifically for this record, didn't you? Yeah. I mean, I think I don't know any other way to live life.

1:55:56than to write music. I feel like I've always written songs, and they just come to me, and that doesn't mean they're all good, but some of them are really bad. I know the feeling. That's what friends are for. Very much. But at the time, you think this is the greatest song because it's expressing exactly what I'm thinking, and it's your diary entry for the day. Do you write music first? then lyrics do you write lyrics first then how do you guys how's the process happen the good one comes at the same time yeah yeah that you were mentioning for this album i think there are over 80 songs that we put down for this record and that was one of the hardest parts about the record was which songs to put on the album see and that's that's the thing like i had heard i heard that and i at first i thought well that's uh Cool rumor, but that can't be true. Yeah, they couldn't have really recorded over 80 songs and you did yeah I mean, that's what happens when you have your own studio. Yeah, you kind of went crazy and It's them all but the the the the phrase became you know If you ain't if you ain't crying while you're singing it or you know kind of what songs do you want to die singing? Really those those two kind of questions guided us to pick which ones to put on the record that would carry the soul of the band

1:57:18I had planned on letting you guys hear my three-year-old son doing Sing It Out, Always, all of those, but I couldn't figure out the video. We had these little videos of it. My son, Jake, knows this record better than I do. You guys do Switchfoot Trivia. Yeah, we do Switchfoot Trivia. Are you serious? Really? When he's three years old, it's the coolest thing. We do Switchfoot Trivia. I would like to see him play John. Yeah. I don't know very much about that. Versus John Foreman. Jake would win. Well, it was funny because when you guys started doing Always, you're like, oh, I got to remember what key this is in or whatever it was. I don't remember how. Well, John, that's what happens when you write 80 songs, okay? You're showing off and it's ridiculous. Can you guys do another one for us? Yeah, let's do. So this is a song. 949's always been really. supportive of us here in San Diego. And you guys were playing this one a long time ago. And this is our current single. And it means a lot to me. It was written, inspired by a guy named John Perkins, who's a civil rights leader. I think more people need to know about him. And basically, it's expressing not only his life story, but kind of the struggle for equality and freeing our mind from...

1:58:46you know, racial stereotyping and all the things that go on. So, yeah, it's, for me, I'm very passionate about the song and excited to hear it on the airwaves. It's called The Sound. How great is that? So cool. So great, man. Switchfoot. That could not have sounded better. Dude, and they played a gig last night. I know, I kept thinking that. They come in and they do that song where he's got to like, get it? That was so cool. You brought some other instruments too. What were you guys...

2:03:18Honestly, I just was like, we're prepared for bear here. We got coffee. I brought the accordion, a harmonic. I don't know. You never know what's going to happen. I love it. You guys are warriors. Seriously. It's amazing. Which song? Is there a song in the new album that has the accordion? Yeah, actually. Jerome usually plays it. There's a couple. I mean, I'm a sucker for the accordion. Yeah. It's one of those instruments, you play it, and it instantly takes you somewhere. France. Yeah. France, Italy, wherever. And it was interesting, because traveling through Europe, it's not that big of a deal over there. Every kid on the corner's got an accordion in certain little towns. And so you bring it out, and it's like... Oh, yeah, that's an accordion. Oh, cool. For me over here, San Diego kid is like, this is amazing. This is great. This is great. Oh, yeah. Well, I am so grateful to have you guys in here and want to let everyone know that Switchfoot is doing the sixth annual Switchfoot Bro-Am presented by Hurley, and it's happening tomorrow. This thing is great.

2:04:27You guys going to let me backstage tomorrow or what? You know what's funny is everyone is backstage tomorrow. I know. It's pretty much like you're surrounded by backstage. It's so cool that you guys do that. I've done that like four or five years now. It's the best day. I love it. Nice. I'm so glad you like it. So here's the deal. Tomorrow morning from 7 a.m. to 3.30 in the afternoon is the surf contest. Okay, now this is at Moonlight. If people want to go down. Incredible surfing. Rob Machado, Timmy Curran, Nathaniel Curran. And my brother's going to be there, too. That's cool. That is cool. Now, the Bro-Am After Party is happening at the Belly Up, and it's going to be hosted by Teva and... Switchfoot, and it's going to feature the Bro-Am All-Stars, Silent Comedy and The Howls. Now, again, that's at the Belly Up tomorrow, and that's tomorrow night, 8 o'clock, show at 9, and tickets are $17 in advance for that, $19 a day of, and if you want to, just go to bellyup.com if you want to find out more about that, and explain the idea behind the Bro-Am and what it does. Yeah, basically...

2:05:38The brum is my favorite day of the year. I think it showcases what I love best about San Diego, namely surfing, music, and a community that actually cares about each other. Stand Up for Kids is an organization that are international now, but they started here in San Diego. This benefits the Oceanside chapter. And they take care of homeless kids and at-risk youth out in the streets. That's awesome. And so all the money generated from the contest and the concerts and we got an auction dinner tonight, all that goes to stand-up. And these kids are just amazing. I'm a super fan of these kids because they're out there in tougher situations than I've ever been in, and they've got this hope in their eyes. And that's worth fighting for, you know, and that's what the event is about. So, I mean, we've got some incredible talent coming down. We got OK Go, The Almost, Chris Schiflett from the Foo Fighters, Kate Vogel, some of the best San Diego bands, everyone teaming together to really cheer these kids on and give them a great day at the beach. And that and, you know, we were kind of talking about I talked about that yesterday and said, and you're actually living it. You know, I was saying be great to do something positive.

2:06:52For the homeless and the fact that these are, in these cases, kids that you're doing this for. It's an amazing thing what you guys do. It's the Bro-Am. It's tomorrow morning. And you can go out there and watch the surfing tomorrow morning. And we really want to get people involved in this. All of these musicians that are getting together to be a part of it are incredible. And we just really want to raise money for this thing and hopefully a lot of it. And so the best thing to do, where can we direct people? There's sites online. Stand Up For Kids has their own site. You can connect them through our site, switchfoot.com. If you're going to the event and you've got extra clothes, just been sitting around in your closet for a long time, round them up. You can donate them. you know, cool stuff. You know, these are kids that, like you or I, you know, you want to look cool. Sure. And, you know, clean, brand new pairs of socks or underwear, that's always needed. You know, money's appreciated, but the clothes, that's a great way to donate, too. And if you can't be at the event, you know, you got something going on, check it out online and see how you can get involved. You guys, thank you so much for coming in here this morning. It means so much to us.

2:08:14Oh, incredible. Absolutely incredible. And like Wood said, you guys playing a show last night just couldn't sound any better at nine o'clock in the morning. Unbelievable. So thank you very much. We'll take a quick break. We'll be back. I just got an email. I just got an email from my wife. As you guys know, my son, my three-year-old son, Jake, loves instruments, has a little drum set. And let's see. What's he talking to that, Mike? Hi, Mikey. Yeah. What were you worried about? Oh, your headphones. I can't hear anything. Headphones. My son, Jake, loves instruments. He's got a drum set. He's got a guitar. Loves to play strum on that guitar. He's got a little harmonica. He's got all these instruments, right? So cute. Piano. Got a piano. Yep.

2:09:56plays the keyboard and is taking keyboard lessons. He played something for Uncle Woods a couple weeks ago. I was blown away. Really? But he loves... So cute. Because he was naming out the keys. He was saying A-A-G-G-C-D. That's how I have to learn, too. Really cute. While Rebecca, I'm driving home the other day, I'm talking to Rebecca, and Rebecca says, she goes, babe, Jakey really, really wants... An accordion. Oh boy. And I said, oh boy. And I go, yeah, no. And she goes, and she goes, babe. And I go, honey, he's not going to play the accordion. And she goes, why? I go, babe, how many cool accordion players do you know? And she goes, so anyway, I just got an email from Rebecca and the subject is settled. Wow. And it says, well, that settles it. If that guy plays accordion, accordions are officially cool. True story. True story. She said that was amazing. How does he even know? He's the smartest three-year-old I've ever met. He loves that instrument. He even knows what an accordion is. Can you see him running around the house? Yes. Mikey's sitting there going. You already have drums. No. Settled. She goes, how do I say to him?

2:11:23that we won't let him have one. And I said, babe, what would you say if he said, can I have a pony? Yeah, you have to wait until it's like a birthday or something. She said that. She goes, you have to wait until it's a birthday. And I said, no. And she goes, well, what would we say if he asked for one for his birthday and we said no? I said, what would you tell him if he wanted a pony? And she goes, well, I would say, well, you can't have a pony, son. You would take him to go ride one. She goes, we don't have any place that we put a pony. We live in San Diego. She goes, but we have a place we could put the accordion. I go, babe, Jake's not going to be accordion guy. He's going to be an accordion player. Now that I've heard John play the accordion this morning, I'm like, hey, listen, let's get the kid an accordion. I'll tell you what. Uncle Woods will make it right for him. Really? Yeah, just to drive you nuts. You're such a big promiser. Just to drive you nuts. Yeah? Am I a big promiser or am I a deliverer? Are you going to teach him how to play the accordion? No, I'll just buy him one. You've got to teach him. He's going to buy the new iPhone. That was a bit to get him worked up. Let me tell you. I'll take care of him. They sounded phenomenal. I was blown away. And here's the thing. Every time I see a really talented band with a great guitar player and a great singer, I'm like, yep, not playing anymore.

2:12:38Really? I thought you were going to be like, that's it, I'm getting the band back together. No, I see it and I'm like, never mind. It makes me want to take guitar lessons. Me too. Why can I not play an instrument? Why have I played guitar for 15 years and I'm about as good now as I was then? No, you're not. You're good. You sang at your friend's wedding. Yeah, I know, but I'm getting worse. And I watched him play and I'm like, yep, I don't have that. Because you probably don't practice all the time. And haven't you heard... I'm really, really angry that you can't take my peanuts. Have you heard that song, You Can't Take My Peanuts? You better not ban my peanuts. Have you guys heard it yet? Have you not heard You Better Not Ban My Peanuts? I want to hear it. Do you think Woods can play it or should we have Dave Matthews play it? Airlines. You're going to cover it? You're going to do a cover of Dave Matthews' Better Not Ban My Peanuts? It's a brand new song. It's already been covered. Airlines may be banning peanuts because of allergies and Dave Matthews was not happy about this the other day. Sounded a little bit like this. Yeah. We'll see what Switchfoot thinks about this. What did you guys think of that? Switchfoot just opened for me, by the way. Wow. Just as terrifying the fourth time as it was the first three. Yeah. We all sit there like...

2:14:02staring like, is this happening? As John was singing, John Foreman from Switchfoot, as he was singing, I was looking over at him and I was thinking to myself, what an amazing instrument that dude has in his voice. When he sings, it's so unique to him. He has such a unique voice. In fact, it's so unique that it's one of those deals where there will be guys that are influenced by him. And years from now, you're going to hear people going, oh, so you must be a fan of John Foreman. I know. Because he's so unique that people will mimic that style because he sounds so unique. And it's, you know, and Woodsy and I have talked about this before. The quality that he has in his songwriting and his singing is that when he sings, he sings his... guts out he sings it he sings with his heart there's an old saying that you have to bleed a little bit while you sing and uh when you hear him sing he bleeds for his music and that to me is like i've always been such a superficial music guy because i don't write original stuff i play covers and when you see that man you're like i was two inches away from him like i couldn't close my mouth and i was just like just

2:15:25In awe. Just in awe. He's a pretty sharp dude, too, man. Really? I mean, come on. I know. Totally looks like the surfer tail. I was looking at him going, all right, pal. Okay, look at you. Well, I was thinking to myself, well, besides being, you know. 5'6", overweight Mexican with a shaved head and a goatee and 40 years old. We have everything in common. Everything in common. It's like looking in a mirror. You guys are both talented. You have that in common. They were so cool, man. They were really, really cool. So guess what we're listening to after the show today on our little drive? Switchfoot. You know it. Dave Matthews? Hey, my penis? Switchfoot. You know what's really difficult, too, whenever I interview them is to not get completely... self-indulgent. I have to fight the temptation to not just go, tell me about that time. You're such a fan, dude. That would be hard for me. There's bands out there that it would be impossible. I'd be like, L.O.B., can you do this? Because I can't do it. I'd be a pro, of course. Of course, you'd rise above it. I could ask every single song on this album, and I'm not kidding you, man. This is the best album they've ever done. Every single song is good.

2:16:42The one that I wanted to ask him about is this. First time I heard the album, I hear those notes. I'm in. I just heard that. John, if you're listening, 570-1949. If you're willing to continue the interview. That's great. John, we're going to have a barbecue tonight if you would like to come over and hang out and maybe bring the guitar and we'll pick a little bit. Hey, listen. He may not be above that. The guy brought coffee. Him and Drew brought coffee. That was so nice. They're so nice. I know. I couldn't believe it. Listen to that voice. Amazing. Driving down a dark highway listening to that. So good. Such a good album. 570.

2:18:021-949-9 is our number, and our text, if you want to text us, is 949mikey at gmail.com. You realize I changed that kid's diapers. Did you get Neil? Yeah, this is Neil Diamond. You've known John that long? That long, yes. Wow. You know, I lived in San Diego for years. Yeah. That's right, I used to play Pinochle out of Pechanga. Oh, wow. Big Pinochle fan, are you? Yeah, maybe I am a Pinochle fan. I think it's Pinochle. Is it? I think it's Pinochle. I think it's Pinochle. It's Pinochle. I think it's Pinochle. It's Pinochle. Maki, it's Pinochle. Were you guys born in a barn? Maki. P-I-N-O-C-H-L-E. Pinochle. Is that how you spell it? We were born in a barn because we all agree. I'll bet you $5,000. Spell it again. P-I-N-O-C-H-L-E. Pinochle. Pinochle. You tell him, Neil. I think he's right. You know I'm right. What do you know, Neil? I know everything, Swiss Miss. Swiss Miss. Oh, yeah.

2:19:03Let me tell you something. I'm going to the World Cups. Don't. If you don't copy me. I hate when the blonde girl starts to copy me. Oh, my gosh. Why do you do that? Stop it. Neil, you have to rise above. I can't rise above. Just concentrate on your words and your words alone. That's a good idea, Sienna. Did I tell you I'm playing the World Cups? You did good. Cups? It's the World Cup. It's just a singular. I thought it was the World Cups. World Cup. It was one cup. Anyway, I'm going down to Mexico. I'm going to play. South Africa. It's the same thing. No, it's not. How's the difference between... It's like P-knuckle and P-knuckle. It's not even close. Oh, wow. Bunch of sallies.

2:20:02Neil? If I wanted to play keep away, I'd just go on a date with Barbra Streisand again, all right? Bunch of crackheads think that's funny, is that it? Old Uncle Neil's in here. Stop copying me! I got you, didn't I? Didn't I? You know what's funny, Woodsy? What? You know, the cops, the cops were... Trying to arrest me the other day because I was hanging out by the soccer stadium, right? What? The soccer stadium here? Why would he try to arrest you? Yeah, the soccer stadium here because I'm trying to gear up for it, you know? Yeah. Is there a soccer stadium here? Isn't there? No. Nothing I know of. Maybe at a high school. Wait a minute. Maybe I was in Brazil. Anyway. It's easy to confuse the two. Absolutely. The cops should be down here trying to arrest Mikey for pretending he can't play soccer. You all know he can. Of course. Why is that? Because he's a Mexican national. Is he? I bet he is good. Isn't he? He's working on a visa. You all know that, right? Someone pass gas in here? Smells like baby camp around here. Baby camp?

2:21:17What are you talking about? Let me tell you something. I'd rather eat a crock pot full of quaaludes than go down and play soccer. I don't mean to offend anybody. You already have eaten a crock pot full of quaaludes. That's right. I had a crock pot full of quaaludes right before I came in here. Tongue twister. That explains a lot. You know who plays soccer? Who? My niece Annabelle. All right. Is she good? She's the most uncoordinated girl in the field, Sienna. So yeah, so what sport did they put her in? They put her in soccer. You know why? Weird. She's a bit like a rhino. What? Showing you the truth. Wow. You must really love her. She should play keep away with seconds. Neil. What? Nobody can hear this. You can't say that. We're in a private room right now. We're on the air. Why are you talking to the microphone? Your brother is going to hear you talking about his daughter that way. You don't have the microphones on. Yeah, the mics are on. We're on the air. What's the matter with you stone heads? You weirdos. We're the one doing the show. We're the one doing the show. Oh, the tables have turned. You're the one that just busted in here. We're the ones doing the show. He's not very quick. No, you're not very good at that. You're not very good at that. Well, now you're just repeating what I'm saying. Well, now you're just repeating what I'm saying. There we go. Here we go. I opened for Michael Jackson one time. Don't copy me!

2:22:46Neil Diamond and Michael Jackson together. Quite a bill. That is. It was quite a bill. I can hear your heartbeat through the mic, Neil. Ladies and gentlemen, we're playing all Michael Jackson stuff today because today is the year anniversary of the passing of Michael Jackson. This is Smooth Criminal. Still haven't told you about the mayor of Los Angeles. He was getting a bunch of freebies, got in trouble for it. A lot of freebies. Wait till I tell you what. Got an audio clip of him trying to defend it. It's coming up. It's on the Mikey Show next. I love you, Michael. Dirty Diana. It's my theme song. I should have called Dirty Michael. L.O.B. picking the music today. Michael Jackson, Dirty Diana. Welcome back. It's a Mikey Show. Let's see. What do we got? I want to make sure that people know about Jared, our boy. Jared, who, by the way,

2:24:27Has a website called createyourdesignonline.com. He is an amazing graphic designer. The best. I was going to call him yesterday because I want him to design business cards for the Mikey Show. Yes. I've been wanting to ask you about that every day. I know. Well. We need him. I know. It's $150 a person, which isn't bad. No, I will throw that down in a second. You get 1,000 business cards. I got that in my pocket right now. Oh, yeah. I don't. I'd need to go to the bank, probably. Business starter package, $150. He'll design the logo for you, do the card design, the whole thing. And he'll give you 1,000 business cards for... 150 bucks. I can't tell you how excited I am to hang that picture he did of us in our studio. I know. It's so cool. Oh my gosh. That picture he did of us is amazing. I know it is. Jared did a picture of the Mikey show. It's like a portrait. And we're going to put it in our...

2:25:22eventually into our new studio. It makes me feel kind of like the president. Yes. You know, like it's like a picture that's that mighty. It's going to be behind velvet robes. It's six feet long. It's huge. We'll put it with Mikey's cloaks and his robes. And his crown. And his crown. What is a cloak, by the way? You know what it is. It's what you have on right now. No, Harry Potter wears a cloak. It's like a cape. It's like what the Burger King wears. It's got the, uh, it's got the, no, no, no. It's like a cape but wider. It does have a hood. Well, it can have a hood. It's got a hood. Yours are hoodless. It's like kings wear it. You know. You know. Come on. Cloaks. Uh, let's see. Okay, so I told you I was going to tell you about this. The mayor of Los Angeles, what was he getting in terms of freebies, Sienna? A lot, a lot of tickets, like pricey tickets between $50,000 to $100,000. I'm talking, well, they don't list the specifics, but there was a picture of him with Kobe Bryant, you know, and the problem is, is he's getting these tickets and he's not.

2:26:29claiming any of them. He's not reporting any of them, which you cannot do. Which he's like, what's the big deal? The state and city prohibit elected officials from taking more than $420 in gifts annually. Well, here's the thing, Woods. No big deal. I mean, if the guy gets freebies, the guy gets freebies. I think where I would have an issue is if he was actively going out. asking for said freebies. Like, hey, man, you're using your Lakers, calling Jack Nicholson and saying, hey, you're using your Lakers tickets? Well, can't he be, I mean, if he's the mayor, can't he just be invited to events? Yeah, I would think. He's the mayor. Yeah. Yeah, let's let him slide. Well, first of all, if they do, there's nothing wrong with it. Just make sure you report it. There's nothing wrong with it. You have to have records of it. Ticket police? Okay, well, listen to this. Got another pair going to see Kings of Leon. Well, you have to have that in there so you can't just accept gifts and bribes and be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll write that law. Just slide it this way. The mayor's $50,000 to $100,000 plus in freebies over the last five years is pretty much the same amount as all 40 members of the California Senate accepted over an 18-month period for that guy alone. Woods, wouldn't it bother you if you knew that he was calling? What if he called?

2:27:43And he's like, hey, this is the mayor, and I'm just wondering if I can get some Lakers tickets from you guys, you know, maybe some free Laker tickets. I don't see a problem with it. You would think he would just always be invited, though. Dude, I've been here five months. I got a ton of free tickets. I don't care. And you call and you're like, hey, I'm Woods from The Mikey Show? No. Oh, yeah, because that would be gnarly. No, they've been like, here, come see this, come see this. Yeah, that's fine. If they reach out to you. But if you, dude, if I found out that you were like calling House of Blues, you're like, hey, what's up? Oh, never. I'm Woods from The Mikey Show. Never, ever would I do that. Ever would I do that. Yeah, and I think, would that bother you if you knew that the mayor was doing that? Like having one of his lackeys call and be like, this is for the mayor of. Los Angeles. That's what people are thinking that he's done. I don't see it as a crime, but I think it's a little weird. It's tacky. Look at me. It's tacky. It's, you know, I don't know. I just think he would get invited all the time, though. Arrogant. I just asked Garrett. Oh, gosh. But if you think about it, he's not just getting one ticket, right? He's not just going to roll it by himself. Don't you think he'd bring the fam? He'd probably get some entourage, yeah. Of course.

2:28:51Mayer doesn't show up by himself. Yeah, and I mean, that's so much more money because he doesn't sit in the back nosebleeds. Well, maybe if the Lakers tickets weren't so darn expensive, it would be in excess of $150,000. Maybe he'd throw down some money by himself. Yeah, maybe you buy yourself some season tickets. I think he's probably doing all right. It's like $32,000 for a courtside ticket or something like that. It's called supply and demand. Yes, it is. That's what it's called. M1 L.A. Mayer is on the phone right now. Hi, M1 L.A. Mayer. How are you doing? I was calling to see if you guys had some tickets for the mayor. Well, what were you looking for today? Well, I've had enough street tickets, so I was looking for something other than just some parking tickets. Well, I don't know. Jay, do we have anything we can give the mayor? No, I already gave him stuff yesterday. He took all of our prizes. I bet he wants to go to Independence Jam. I gave him sunglasses. Mr. Mayor. How about the fair? You got any tickets to the fair? Do we have any tickets to the fair? What's your real name?

2:29:59That's Baby Shaker. I knew it. I knew it. I said the same thing to Lauren. Maybe you send in a pic. Baby Shaker's married. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. Lauren? He's not married. Baby Shaker, are you single? Yes, I am. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Why is this awkward? Maybe you come in on a meet and greet one day. Backstage pass. Backstage pass. Maybe you come up on a Friday. I'll be there next Friday. Woods at MikeyShow.com. There we go. Done. We'll get it all set up, Baby Shaker. All righty. I'll check the website tonight. All right. Email me. You got it, pal. Play a little Chuck Woolery here. Sweet little angel. Lauren's like, hey, how would somebody find you on Facebook, by the way? Right when I heard his voice, I looked at Lauren. I'm like, you know who this is. So what new movies are coming out today? Well, one that you and Jay are very excited about. It's already out. It came out on Wednesday. Jay is not only excited about this, he's very passionate about this movie. Mikey, too, who only likes Scorsese. It's funny. Mikey's seen seven movies in his life. This is going to be number eight. All I've said is that I think the commercials look good. You guys are fighting us off the air about it.

2:31:16Well, because you guys are as stupid as the movie I've ever seen. It looks absurd. Oh, you look absurd. Look who the main actors are that you're sticking up for. Crazy number one and crazy number two. The movie that came, it actually came out on Wednesday, but the big weekend is going on right now. Night and Day with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Terrible name. And it came out Wednesday. Not a good start either. Taking a meager $7. $3.8 million. $3.8 the day of release. That's a turn. Most of them get like, not most of them, but the good ones get 20, 30, you know? Yes. 3.8 million is not a good open. Did you like the clever little name, Mike? Knight. Spelled with a K. I bet you his name is Frank Knight or something. So weird. Totally Frank Knight. Let me ask you guys something. If you could, like a TV. You got other movies that are coming out? Yeah, and the other one that's coming out, which I want to go see 100%, is Grown Ups. It has Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, and David Spade. That's going to be a good one. Looks phenomenal. I hope you like this movie. And it's PG-13, too. I thought it was actually going to be R, but PG-13. It should be. It should be. With all those guys? I know it. Let's see.

2:32:32Okay, yeah, so if you had the ability to be able to pause time like a TiVo, what would you do? A lot of things. Let me tell you, I thought of this the other day because I was driving my parents to their appointment. We were on the freeway, and I'm looking around, and I'm thinking to myself, I wonder what the freeway looks like up close. Like if I were walking on it. You think it's going to be made of gold? Woods is giving me the I'm embarrassed to be your friend look right now. That's what you would do if you could do anything to pause time and no one knows what you're doing? You never walked on a freeway? No. Jay. That's like saying I'd like to. wear an elephant skin. And he's like, you've never worn an elephant skin? You've never ridden on a cheetah? No, we rode on the freeway on our bicycles and laid down on the freeway. It was in the middle of the night. It was like 3 a.m. You could see cars coming from a mile away. Maybe Jay doesn't know what a way is. It was a giant freeway right through town. No, it was a freeway. Friars Road is not a freeway. Yeah, Jay. No, but honestly, like, you know.

2:33:39If I could pause time, like you got these big giant busy freeways like the 8 and the 805 and everything. I would want to see what the actual asphalt looks like. Why? It's a concrete. I'm sure it looks the same as any road. We'll go over to Ralph's after the show and I'll show you in the parking lot exactly what it looks like. I bet it seems like it's got these big giant grooves in it. So of all the things in the world. I'd get down on my hands and knees. And I wouldn't. Smell it. No, I wouldn't do that. But I would get down on my hands and knees and I'd be like, wow, this is the 163. Would it be empty or would there be cars on it? Frozen cars. So would you like creep into people's cars to see what they're eating? No, I'm interested in the freeway. Give them a wet willy. What they're eating. I'm interested in the freeway. Is that a burrito? That burrito that guy's eating looks pretty good. You want to finish that? That's not what I meant. I would like to see the natural phenomenon, like a volcano or a wave. I'd like to pause it and be like, oh, that's what it looks like. That's cool. I would do that. Yeah.

2:34:50If you could pause the wave and you go up to it and you're like, yeah, and you could like touch it and feel the inside of a wave. Maybe poke at the little fishies that were in there. Maybe just go in the water. I know it sounds like we all took mushrooms. Yeah, we all just ate mushrooms. Yeah, man, it'd be so killer. Wow, look at this wave. Maybe there would be like an elf inside of it or something. Wow, man, is that Minnie Mouse in there? I think Minnie Mouse is stuck. Oh, my goodness. What would you do, Sienna? I would go to Brad Pitt's house and give him a smooch or take off his shirt or more than that. Like Lauren when that five-year-old was sleeping and she was five and she crawled over and kissed him while he was sleeping. She was a little girl. Maybe take a pic and be like, me and Brad Pitt. I go to a bank. What? Of course, you criminal. He's got the most criminal mind. Okay, it's either a toss-up. Bank or Playboy Mansion. I think it's a sorority house myself. Yeah, Playboy Mansion. Girl shower, 24-hour fitness. Wow. Motorboat all day. Why did I ask this question? Wow. 570-1949. Jay says...

2:36:16I'd go down to the sorority. Creep. Creepiest. You mean your daughter's sorority? No, no. My goodness. 570-1949. Tell me what you would do if you could pause everything. I'd eat mushrooms and watch Fantasia. He did a lot of ass. Yeah, he did. He's like David Lee Roth. 570-1949. Mike, you just say mm-hmm to everything? Yep. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's like David Lee Roth. Mm-hmm. David Lee Roth always did the... Oh, that's right. Dollar. Fine. Yeah. 570. Put me down. You both get... Why? Yeah, we both get a dollar. Yeah, we both get a dollar. Stupid non-sequiturs. Yeah. Good job, Woods. Let's see. What did I tell you I was going to tell you when we got back? We were going to continue talking about if you could pause time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I could pause time.

2:37:46Yeah. 5701949. Really a dollar for both of you. No, it went with it. M1 Chris from Oceanside. Hey, what's up, guys? What up? Not too much. Sorry. It's all right. Hey, you know what? I have to say, mine wasn't all that. It was kind of good, but now I'm with Jay. Oh, boy. The sorority. The sorority. Four hot chicks on a trampoline and miniskirts is kind of where I was going. Just pause. I like your style. Wow. I bet you you wouldn't be too happy with the results. Jay, 24 hours. Power of fitness, that's gold. See? Come on over. I don't even want, like, what Lauren just said, I don't even know what she meant, but whatever it is, creep me out. It's like the episode of Seinfeld where she does things nude. Like, you shouldn't do certain things, like fix a bicycle chain. It doesn't look good. I'm just, no, jumping on a trampoline. Like this? Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Like, you're just kind of like it's not as flattering as people. If it was pause, yeah, one boob up, one boob up. Yeah. That's what I was getting at. Gotcha. Unless they were fake, then they might stay in one position. That's just you, Sienna. That's just you. They have a mind of their own. M1 Bobby from SDSU. How are you? Hey, I'm doing good. How about yourself? Good. What would you do? I'd freeze time and go to either AIG headquarters or BP or somewhere that's, you know, getting the better on someone.

2:39:09go and tile their shoes together, tile their shoes together, and then forward as much money as I could to something better than that, like a school system. There you go. Robin Hood. I love it. I like it. I feel like a clown now. Thank you, bro. Yeah. He's doing something all righteous. Yeah, noble. How funny would it be if they all stood up with their shoes tied together? That'd be the best. That'd be awesome. What was that movie that you said that they did that? Click. Click. And then... Twilight Zone as well. They had the stopwatch. The stopwatch? In Twilight? Twilight Zone. Oh, oh, oh. Mike's like, I don't remember that. Do not remember that, Mike. 570-1949 is our number. Beginning and end of every show, we do open phones so you can call in about whatever you want to. Does anybody have anything going on this weekend that they want to promote? My family is here. My brother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and my... Awesome nephew, Jacob. They're all in town. They made it safely, so we'll go party with them here in a little bit. They're actually here now. They're here. They're listening, I think. Very cool. Love you guys. Glad you're here. I got invited by Drew from Switchfoot to go up on the stage and announce something at the Bro-Am. That's so cool. Yeah. Shut it. Yeah. Nice. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Well, we already heard it and clapped. Yeah. Oh, cool. So I'll be there sometime. That's awesome. That's awesome. Congrats.

2:40:32Beginning and end of every show, or excuse me, the end of shows on Friday, I give you my testimony. I tell you all about, I tell you about my story. And the reason that I tell you about my story is because hopefully in telling you my story, there's some of your story in it. I grew up extraordinarily insecure. And I grew up with very, very low self-esteem. And because of that, I always felt different, and I always felt like an outsider. If there was a group of kids that were the cool kids, I never felt A, like I could be a part of that group, or B, that I would ever be a part of that group. I walked around with a lot of shame for a lot of things through my entire life. I've had shame in my life for being overweight. I've had shame in my life for having an eating disorder as a guy.

2:41:47That's hard to tell, having an eating disorder as a guy. And I did it because I desperately wanted to be liked. I did so many things because I desperately wanted to be liked. When I was about 32, 33 years old, I was completely addicted to alcohol. I would turn off my ringer on my phone, and I would close blinds, and I would drink until I would pass out. Sometimes during that, I would get sick, go back to the bottled drink, take sleeping pills to go to sleep. I also didn't care much for others. I was a pretty mean guy back in the day. In fact, hurting other people with my words was something that I did to make myself feel better, to make me feel superior. Inside, I was a complete and utter weenie.

2:43:17who hated myself if anybody liked me i didn't like them because i felt like how could you like something this ugly and i don't mean on the outside although i felt that too i meant who i was i've been addicted to pornography i've been addicted to alcohol i've abused cocaine methamphetamine pills if you've done any of these things or you're in that place now want you to know what happened to me in 2003 2003 I gave my life to Jesus Christ and he changed my life he started living inside of me and I even I didn't even know he was doing this and I started to change and every single day since that day I've been changing and changing and changing the reason that I tell you this story is because if you're in that place I want you to know that there is hope for you

2:44:37If he was able to take somebody like me and do with me what he did, he can do that with you, too. If you're going through any of this kind of stuff, go to MikeyShow.com. M-I-K-E-Y-S-H-O-W.com. There's a button there called Help. Click on that. You can find help and resources for all this kind of stuff. I always, from time to time, want to be able to give you the website to the church that I go to. It's North Coast Church. I thought that today, because Switchfoot was in here, we would play that song that they played earlier. We'd let you hear the recorded studio version of it. So that's what I'm going to do. The name of the song is Always. Lovely and Talented Hillary is up next. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. And this song, to me, man, it just says God all over it.

2:45:53and it means so much to me. We'll see you again on Monday, and the Mikey Show's out.