The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 07/08/11
Friday, July 8, 2011
lord of the rings betcasey anthony releasejosh hamilton foul ballamerican idol auditionsdeep fried fair foodon golden pond scenewheel of pain hot saucejay laser demonstrationmikey idol auditionsmikey testimonycuddling vs sex surveyengagement ring discussion
The show opened with Mikey discussing Woods' lost bet forcing him to watch Lord of the Rings for the first time, joking about hoping for diarrhea. They covered Casey Anthony's delayed release, the tragic Josh Hamilton foul‑ball incident, and promoted that day's American Idol auditions. Later, Mikey and L.O.B. acted out a scene from On Golden Pond, Jay endured a painful hot‑sauce punishment on the Wheel of Pain, and Jay demonstrated a high‑powered laser by popping balloons and lighting a match. The hour also featured listener sing‑offs for Mikey Idol and Mikey’s candid testimony about his past and faith.
What happened, in order
Lord of the Rings Bet
Host Mikey reveals that Woods must watch The Lord of the Rings for the first time due to a lost bet, joking that he hopes Woods will dislike it so much he gets diarrhea.
Casey Anthony Release Delay
The crew announces that Casey Anthony’s jail release has been moved from July 13 to July 17, 2011, with no explanation given for the delay.
Josh Hamilton Fan Tragedy
They recount how a foul ball hit by Josh Hamilton caused a fan to fall from the stands and die, describing the firefighter’s death witnessed by his young son.
American Idol Auditions Today
The show notes that American Idol auditions are happening live at Petco Park, with wristbands available until 8 a.m. and judges Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler confirmed to return.
Deep-Fried Fair Food Stats
They list outrageous sales figures from the San Diego Fair, such as 100,000 deep‑fried Kool‑Aids and 40,000 deep‑fried Oreos.
Wheel of Pain Hot Sauce Punishment
Jay endures three drops of Dave’s Insanity Sauce on a pita chip, screaming in pain while the crew laughs and reacts to the intense heat.
On Golden Pond Reenactment
Mikey and L.O.B. perform the famous "knight in shining armor" scene from On Golden Pond in costume, earning praise from the crew for their convincing portrayal.
Jay's Laser Science Bit
Jay, the "old man that does science," uses a high‑powered laser to pop balloons and light a match, causing strong reactions from the hosts who warn not to stare at the beam.
Mikey Idol Auditions
Listeners call in to sing for a chance to go to Hollywood, with performances ranging from Janis Joplin to Etta James and humorous judging by the crew.
Mikey's Personal Testimony
Mikey shares a heartfelt monologue about his troubled past, depression, and how finding Jesus changed his life, closing the show with a reflective tone.
People mentioned
MikeyWoodsLauren O'BrienSiennaJayChrisBreeShellyCaptain MoeCasey AnthonyChaney MasonJustinBarry ZitoDick Williams
36,915 words, machine transcribed. Click any timestamp to jump the player there.
Look at this. It's Friday already. I love it. And it's going to be gorgeous. It's going to be absolutely beautiful today. We should go do something outside. Just me and you. Yeah, let's do it. Outside. You know why he's saying that. Outside. 78 degrees today. I know why he's saying it. He's saying it because today is the day that Woods, because he lost a bet, will be... watching the lord of the rings for the first time in his life and the last time in my life yes because he is not a fan of fantasy not a fan of fantasy in fact his line is i like girls and so today he and i and my wife will be watching it question yes is there anything anywhere no that is there anywhere i can take you
Anything I can give you? No. Anything? Nothing. You see, Woods? Anything. Why do you relish in my torture? Well, because if you do as you say, which is that you will enter it with an open mind, it would delight me if you... Here is the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is... Well, there is no worst case scenario. I mean, we're starting from nothing. You're not supposed to like the movie. Right. Okay, so there is no worst case. Worst case is I walk out. That's the worst. Yeah, you're supposed to watch it. You're supposed to watch it. So the worst case is that you get furious that you've had to watch it and you storm out. I hope I get diarrhea. That. Wow. That's what I'm hoping. I'm praying for diarrhea today. Because all he has to watch is Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring, the first movie. So best case scenario is he's like, I want to know what happens next.
Oh, my gosh. Are you kidding me? He's never going to say that. Can you imagine? What if? Hey, bro, can we get number two and three and just make that right on the down low? He's like, hey, loan me two and three. I'll watch him out. I was going to take him home for the weekend. There's a percentage of chance that happens. One. Zero. I say you will not like these films because, you know, but all I can tell you is, you know, as you go into it, just remember, well, I know it's it's fantasy. I'm going to try that because I don't I'm I'm trying to think, you know, I mean, in terms of that kind of stuff, I'm not really into that stuff. I didn't like Alice in Wonderland. I thought that was lame. It's not like that. I was furious at that movie. Labyrinth. Remember that movie everybody loved when you were a little kid? Labyrinth. Never saw it. Not like that. I'd never. When I was a kid, those Frodo books, what are they called? The Hobbit. The Hobbit. That's what this is. And I remember when I was a kid, kids were into it. I didn't understand it. I read two seconds of it. I'm like, what is Eisendorf? It's a tough read. Yeah, man, I don't get it. I don't get it. And I actually watched this movie, Lord of the Rings, back when I was an alcoholic. And I didn't get it, you know? So I stopped watching it. And then I was on a flight.
to Hawaii. It was a long flight. I had the DVD. And everything changed because I put the subtitles on and I went, oh. Like, at least I understand what is being said. Because, dude, without the subtitles, this is what it sounded like to me. Truly, we've got to go to this episode. And then when I say it, we all try. I'm not sure. Are you smoking a religion song? Oh, eat some down this way. I'm like, what? I don't get what? But then it changed and I was like, this is a cool story. You know how Woods loves subtitles. Yes, which is another great thing. I realized last night why I like subtitles. I like subtitles because it's more real. And I like realism in movies. Like I like movies to look like a documentary. So if it's a German movie, it seems grittier to me if it's being spoken in German. But if it's German movie and they're like, hello, how are you today? It seems like today is a good day to go, doesn't it? Like Valkyrie with Tom Cruise. It was in Germany and he's like, hey, how are you? It's good to see you, man. Yeah, which is ridiculous. Right. Or like a fake German accent. Yes. Hate that. And I read on Facebook that you're surprising me with the extended director's cut. Is that the only one you have? It's the only one I have on Blu-ray.
Well, then we don't need to watch Blu-ray. Oh, it's so much better. I refuse to watch it in standard definition. But it's still high def. Yeah. It'll be high def without Blu-ray. No, I don't have it in high def. I only have it, you know, Blu-ray is high def. You are a monster. It's extended. I'm Mikey. I'm 41 years of age. I'm the host of the show. Woods, he's 35. He doesn't like fantasy movies. He's 35. Lauren O'Brien is 30. She is our assistant producer. More on her in just a moment. Sienna is our news girl. She's 25. Six. Six, sorry. And Jay is 48. He's our producer. And our phone screener is Chris. That's cross. Today, the word of the day is Hollywood. So when you hear me say Hollywood between now and 10, Caller number nine will get a pair of tickets to go see Rage Against the Machine, L.A. Rising, Meows, Rise Against, and Ms. Lauren Hill. July 30th, L.A. Coliseum. Jam-packed show today, Wheel of Pain at 7.30, Pick a Scene at 8. Me and L.O.B. are going to be doing On Golden Pond. Old Man That Does Science at 8.30. And then, also, we're going to do Ask Mikey.
where you can ask questions. What are the questions? Like, ask me anything about anything. Whatever people want to ask. Yeah, there's a thing right now. Ask Obama. Advice. Yeah, so if you have an advice question or a question, like a question that you're looking for wisdom on or whatever, we're inviting you to do this through Twitter, okay? And how you do it is with a hashtag. So you just write on, you know, you go to your Twitter account, you ask the question, and then hit pound, and then all one word, ask Mikey. So it's hashtag Ask Mikey. Can't tell not to do Ask Mickey. Yes, don't put M-I-K-E-Y. My name is spelled M-I-K-E-Y. So a hashtag, which I didn't know, I'd heard hashtag, and I thought it was that Weezer song, I got my hashtag. It's a hash pipe. And it's actually, a hashtag is just a pound symbol on a phone. Why don't they call it a pound symbol?
What's that? Yeah, why don't they? I don't like hashtag. Yeah. It's very fancy. Yeah, why don't they just say pound? Yeah, pound ass Mikey. Yeah. Pound Mikey. There you go. All right, so we're going to be talking about when is Casey Anthony getting out of jail? We know now. American Idol auditions. How much deep fried food was sold at the fair? We're going to be talking about all of these things. First. M1 Nubian Prince from Sarah Mesa. Hello, Bree. What's going on, Nubian Prince? Dude, I haven't called for a little while. I've been a little bit busy, but I just want to tell you, how do you guys every week get better from the last week? Like, this week was awesome. Like, that lady that called up with the stuff. Yeah. That crazy one? Yeah. Shelly. Shelly. Yes. Smelly Shelly. It was awesome. You guys' stories, too. You guys just get better every, every week, and I just love... listening to y'all. I've been trying to spread the M1 Nation word to my friends, too. That's good, man. That's good. That's what we want. M1 Nation is growing and growing and growing. Right now, we are at such a steep arc in our growth in terms of just how big the audience is getting and how we're gaining audience from other shows. We're getting all kinds of stuff going.
We're just stoked about it, man. We're really stoked about it. So thank you. Hey, question. Do you still have the sweaters available? Yeah, the sweatshirts. Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. I'm coming by and get one then. We have Mikey Show sweatshirts are available here at the radio station. Yes. And you can get them in the lobby. We're on the seventh floor. Say what up, people. That's right. That's right. Kill me with that. Thank you, bro. Love you guys. Love you, man. All right, we'll see you. So. This morning, we all said, where's L.O.B.? Where's L.O.B.? And, you know, when I drove in, I didn't see her. And so everybody was kind of worried. And Jay called her and woke her up. And she probably had a little heart attack. And just threw on some clothes, put the hair back, and got in here. A couple of cuss words got thrown out there. Were you worried?
Oh, my gosh. It was the whole experience is surreal because if anyone I'm sure a lot of people out there have overslept for whether it be work or a test or something like that. You can't wrap your head around what you're supposed to do next. Right. You just like a fury of clothes being thrown and like double checking that this is really happening. Yes. Yes. Oh, man, it was the worst. It was the first my first clue was there was light. Oh, that's not good. I never wake up when there's light. That's not good. Yeah, it was a series of cuss words. That would freak me out. My heart's actually still pounding. Is it? I told you. I told you you're good. I know. That was a very helpful text. Thank you. You're very welcome. 570-1949 is the number if you want to text 949mikey at gmail.com. I don't just text L-O-B. I text you too. You can text us 949mikey at gmail.com. Let's see. So Casey Anthony was originally going to get out next week. Yeah, July 13th, but now they've moved it back to July 17th of 2011. All right. Justin! Of 2011. Ten days. Good story. So Sunday. Yeah. They didn't give any details on why the extra days or how they were calculated, but they just said a detailed recalculation of the projected release date. Wow.
Yeah. She's also fined $1,000 for each count. And papers show that she has to order. There's some court costs and fees totaling $600. I wonder if they'll let her out at midnight and sneak her into a car to avoid people and stuff. Beer bottles. Her defense attorney, Chaney Mason, was saying I doubt there's any place in this country that she'll ever be able to walk the streets freely. He was saying that he just fears for her safety and she's going to have to get counseling. This is just going to be... Oh, goodness. That's too bad. My guess is she becomes blonde, cuts her hair real short, just tries to change her appearance in every way possible. I wouldn't rule out plastic surgery because, you know, she's... Going to be a target for Wackos. Oh, yeah. So, man, what a weird thing. Speaking of weird things, very sad story out of Arlington, Texas at the Texas Rangers game. One of the saddest stories I've ever seen. Last night, Josh Hamilton is the Texas Rangers left fielder, and a foul ball was hit, and he ran over, grabbed the foul ball, and as they do 99 times out of 100, took the foul ball, threw it up into the stands for the fans to catch.
Gentleman was leaning over the rail to catch the ball. Caught the ball. Fell over the rail. Landed on his head. 20 feet. Passed away. In front of his son. Who was watching the whole thing. It was a video that I saw that I will never forget. Never forget watching. Listening to the announcers crack jokes. They didn't know. They didn't know. And it looked silly. When it first happened, it looked silly. And you could hear the pitcher. They cut to the pitcher and he's about to throw the pitch. And you hear, oh. From the entire left field audience. Because everybody saw it. You don't know the guy's passed away. No. And I wasn't mad, but it just goes to show you, man, you just never know. And this guy was a firefighter. He was 27 years old. Interesting story. It happened one year and a day after another firefighter fell to his death at the same ballpark. Really? Yes. Oh, wow. Maybe they should put nets down there. It's not. They got to do something about that space in between the wall. Yeah, there's a big gap. Oh, gosh. The video's on my page if you want to see it. It's really crazy, but very sad. His 10-year-old son was watching the whole thing and saw his dad go down. You can see the kid cover his mouth. And it broke my heart. Heartbreaking. Broke my heart. Now, is there anything do you think that Josh Hamilton will be like?
Blaming himself? It's interesting that you say that. If you don't know Josh Hamilton's history, he was the number one draft pick by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays years ago. He is or was a raging drug addict and alcoholic. Spent $100,000 in six weeks on crack cocaine at one point in his life. Sold everything. Has made it back to superstardom. MVP. Superstardom. He has a personal coach that goes with him, a life coach that goes with him everywhere he goes. He gets $20 a day, and that's it. This is a multimillionaire. And you worry about somebody that's already that fragile. It's not his fault. It's not his fault at all. It was a good throw. The guy that caught it leaned out in front of another fan that had his glove open, snatched it from him, and then fell. I mean, it's not Josh Hamilton's fault any more than it's your fault or my fault. It's just not. I just hope he doesn't blame himself. As do I, because I am a huge Josh Hamilton fan. He's awesome. Josh Hamilton's story, by the way, is at a really cool website called IamSecond.com. And he gives his story, and parts of it are real creepy and scary, but really cool story.
of where he was and what he came to. American Idol auditions are, in fact, happening today. Yes, and happening right now. Oh, wow. People, yeah, the last two days, people were lining up to get their wristbands so that they can audition at Petco Park. Today is the audition day. Start at 5 a.m. is when you can go in, park, get lined up. No one was allowed to camp out. But yeah, today, American Idol. So if you feel, you still have time because they're giving out wristbands until 8 a.m. is your last chance to try to get into the audition. Now, do we know if Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler are back for sure? Yes. They're back for sure. Yes, they are back for sure. The one we don't know is J-Lo. Yeah, and I think she'll be back. Well, she is. That means she's there right now to watch these people. Uh-huh. I wonder if she did, you know. I think that that is probably a very long day for a lot of people. Oh, yeah. Just sitting out there waiting to be seen. And imagine if you're a good singer and you go out there and they're just like, not what we're looking for, dog. Yeah, but that's what you have to go in thinking, you know. How much deep fried food did we eat at the fair, Sienna? Mikey.
Okay, well, within the 22 days, the San Diego Fair was open. I'm going to start with... Is it poundage or what? Tell us how we... Just item. Like how many orders of deep fried Kool-Aid. Now, this is just the deep fried Kool-Aid. 22,000. Oh, way off. Way off. Way off. 85,000. Oh, wow. What? That was just my order. Clearly. 100,000 deep fried Kool-Aids were sold. Wow. Now they rounded the numbers up, down whatever's closest. Deep fried Oreos, 40,000. Deep fried Klondike bars, 10,000. Deep fried brownies, 15,000. Deep fried Twinkies, 14,000. Deep fried avocados, 20,000. Same with the deep fried frog legs.
Deep-fried Krispy Kreme chicken sandwiches, $6,000. Deep-fried Girl Scout cookies, $1,000. Deep-fried butter, $4,000. Sold. Chocolate-covered corn dogs, $3,000. Chocolate-covered bacon, $40,000. Oh, wow. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Oh, yeah. The rest is whatever, but those are the bad ones. My goodness. Yes. That's a lot of food. It's a heart attack, pal. Mikey just calls that a weekend. Interesting, there is more deep fried avocados than Oreos. Yeah. Only in California. Yeah, of course. You take that anywhere else, they're like, you're not eating deep fried avocado? No, there was more Oreos sold than avocados. I told Woods, I watched the grossest, you know, and I've seen them all. This bizarre foods where he goes to places and eats the weird stuff. Guy went and ate this cheese. that they let sit out for a while. It looks so hideous. And he'll just do stuff that I go, I could never do that. They were going to have a pig, and he decided that why not just have the liver now? That's what they do when in Rome. That's what they do. They take it fresh, chop it up a little bit, hand him a piece, he'll eat it. Guy eats everything. He says as long as it's fresh, it's pretty good. He doesn't like stuff out of a can.
Because one of the least favorite things is spam. Because out of a can, it grosses him out. So you can barely get it down. But that guy can eat, he can eat the heck out of goat balls. I mean, he'll just go for it. Who can't? You know what I mean? Who can't? The blood thing that you told us about. Stop. Stop it. Please. Felty. He'll go for it. All that stuff. Mexican National was executed after a court rejected Obama's appeal that he wanted to give the guy. Lethal injection yesterday. I got the CNN alert on my phone. 38-year-old Mexican national happened in Texas for the 1994 rape and murder of a 16-year-old girl. Oh, man. Yeah. Hey, this was kind of cool, though. Elizabeth Smart's been hired by ABC, which is kind of cool. Yeah, she has been. Very cool. She's going to be looking, commenting, and contributing on the missing person cases. Say it. Really? Yeah. That's good. I know. She's 23 years old. She was kidnapped for nine months back in 2002. And they said that she's going to help viewers better understand missing persons stories from obviously someone who has a unique perspective. Good for her. Yeah. If you want to call in and say hello, you can call right now at the beginning of the show and talk about anything that you feel like talking about. 570-1949 is the number. And we're going to be doing...
Pick a scene today. We pick the scene at the beginning of the week. We play out the scene at the end of the week. Pick two names randomly out of all of us here on the show. And then on Friday, we act it out. We picked me and L.O.B. And we're going to act out on Golden Pond, the scene where, you know, it's a very famous scene where Catherine Hepburn tells Henry Fonda that he is her knight in shining armor. And I will be Catherine Hepburn. We have full outfits. I got a gray wig. L.O.B. Has the Gilligan hat, the glasses. She's got the khaki pants. I mean, she's going to look like a real old man. I'm going to look like a real old woman. Well, that's because you have big jugs. And we are going to act this thing out. You have a skirt. Yeah, I have a skirt. I have a denim skirt like she wears in the movie. And yeah, we're going to do this. There's music from On Golden Pond. The gray bun wig and the beard combo is my personal favorite. It's going to be great. 570-1949. M1 Lynn in Hillcrest is on the line. Are you there, Lynn? Yes. What's going on? I was just wondering why you would call the people that want justice for the baby. Wait, say again. Why you would call...
The people that want justice for it are little baby Kaylee, Anthony, sickos. Oh, I call people sickos that are murderers. Well, isn't Casey a murderer? Yes, she's a sicko. Eye for an eye in my eye. So would you be the type of person that would murder Casey Anthony? No, but I would stand right by them while they did it. Really? Sorry. Okay, I forgive you. But yeah, I think that that's weird. You know, I mean, listen, I think we all think Casey's guilty, but I wouldn't murder her. I wouldn't shed a tear for her. Right. I mean, I'm not asking you to do that, but I mean, yeah, I think a person that would murder her would be sick and demented and weird. This is my take, but, you know, you're entitled, Lynn. M1 Captain Moe is on the line from San Diego. Are you there, Captain Moe? Oh, yeah. Hey, what's going on? What's up?
Hey, I got an idea for Woodsy and how he can avoid watching Lord of the Rings. What is it? You can do the best that my wife does. I like to watch war movies and stuff like that. Sam, on my period? Is just keep asking questions. Who is that? That is brilliant. That's brilliant. That's brilliant. That's freaking brilliant. But how does it get him out of watching the movie? You guys will get exasperated. And we'll finally shut it off. And you'll boop me. My wife does it. It drives me crazy. He's doing it. Oh, no. You may have planted a seed. You planted it real good, Captain Moe. Great. Wear your headphones. Yeah, or you could walk out, Mike, and then leave Woods. Then I'll take a nap. Close the doors behind him. I'll take a nap. Well, see, here's the thing. Woods has to write a little two-paragraph book report. Hey, pal. What was my major in college? Your English major. You'll be great. I'll sniff around on the Internet and write a report. Oh, no.
We're going to tape your eyeballs open. Duct tape, Marno. Too soon. My bad. Don't say duct tape on the mouth. Too soon. I haven't seen Lord of the Rings for a while. I'm looking forward to it. You are looking forward to relishing in my torture. That's all you're looking forward to. Oh, come on now. That's such a true statement. There is a survey that's come out about how men need to cuddle and women need more sex. And I'm going to tell you all about it. Wow. The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949. Or text 949Mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Get to your local O'Reilly Auto Parts store now for the super buy one, get one free sale.
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Hey, we're doing this thing with Twitter where we're saying... If you want to ask me a question that has to do with anything, you know, you want to ask a question, you're looking for wisdom, you're looking for advice, something like that, all you have to do on your Twitter is ask the question and then put pound ask Mikey. Pound ask Mikey. All one word. Ask Mikey. Men like to cuddle and women like to have sex. And we're going to tell you all about that here in just a second.
Wheel of Pain at 7.30. Pick a scene at 8.00. Old Man That Does Science at 8.30. And don't forget the word of the day is Hollywood today. So what's the deal with this survey, Sienna? Well, this is a study from Kinsey Institute, and they studied over a thousand heterosexual, middle-aged, and older long-term couples. Following me? And the researchers asked all the participants to fill out questionnaires, and here are some of the results. Men who reported frequently kissing or cuddling with their partners, on average, were three times happier in their relationships. The more they cuddled, the more they kissed, the happier they were. Woods, do you cuddle? Oh, yeah, I'm a cuddle bug. He's a cuddle bug. Love to cuddle. Snuggle. You know that. Let me ask you a question. Yes. You guys have a queen or a king? California king. Really? It's ginormous. And you guys sleep together? Well, we had, last night, we had five of our dogs in the bed with us, including Shooter. The big black lab slept on the bed last night. So I couldn't, this morning, I was trying to get to my wife to cuddle. I couldn't get there.
I couldn't. I was like, dogs everywhere. Is that unusual or are you usually able to? Dogs usually able to get there. You're usually able to get there and cuddle. But, oh, yeah, dude, we cuddle real good. We got a kid between us. Every night? Yeah. Kick him out. Well, it's supposed to stop when he turns five. Oh, my goodness. And that's in a couple of months, September. Oh, my gosh. But, you know, yeah. That's unfortunate. Well, yeah, he's the size of a 14-year-old now. Giant kid. It's so nice to have him in there, though, at the same time. It really is. That kid loves to sleep with you guys. Not every night. That's his bed, and oh boy, it's going to be hard. Kick him out. That's easy to say from the other side of the room and the other side of the town and all that stuff. Try living with it. Oh, I do. I have kids. Jasper likes to sleep with us, and we let him sleep over a couple times a week at the most. Maybe the couple times a week is a good treat. You can't just pull it from a cold turkey.
You pick two nights this week, and those are the nights you sleep with. That's a good idea. That'll work with your son, Jake, too. Yeah, because that's the way you have to do things with Jack. That will work. He'll know and look forward to that time. It'll be like your king-size breakfast. He'll get to pick his sleep overnight. Oh, boy. Yes. When Mike was little, he got a king-size breakfast once, or king-size meal. Meal. Once a day. So I got to pick if it was lunch or dinner or breakfast. You had to be regulated. I had to be regulated. And Jake, in the same sense, your son, Jake, will need to be regulated. Regulated. Yes. Same thing. Women in this study, they found, actually value sex more than the cuddling. The more sex, the happier they were in their relationship. But I thought that women wanted cuddling before sex. Actually, this survey was taken on opposite day. Just FYI. She didn't tell you that, but it was taken on opposite day. But both men and women who reported the frequent touching, kissing, hugging, as well as the higher... In the bedroom. We're more satisfied with the relationship. Can I ask you guys personal questions about sex? Sure. Yeah? Oh, wow. If you don't want to, you don't have to. Okay. Yeah. Don't you love the cuddle, Sienna? I thought chicks love the cuddle. Oh, yeah. Yes. The post cuddle? Are you talking post cuddle? No, no. I don't want anybody to tamper with her answer. I love to cuddle. Yeah. I don't really like to after.
It's hot. You're hot. Sweaty. Here's what I've always heard. Here's what I've always heard. So sorry. No, no, no. He is. I know. Well, his daughter is a grown woman that's married. He just wrecked his car, though. He just wrecked his car. I know. Well, here's what we've always been told as men. As men, we've always been told, oh, well, a woman wants to be revved up. She wants to be blah, blah, blah. And I remember hearing. somewhere a while ago, no, women are just like men. They just want to get right to it. Is that true or is that not true? It's true sometimes, not all the time. So sometimes you really want this romantic workup? Every once in a while it would be nice for the guy to put in a little work and just be sweet and romantic and have the build up. I mean, that's important. It doesn't have to be all the time. Sometimes you just want to do it. You want to get it over with, right? Your kid's asleep. You don't have much time. I don't have kids, but I don't have any other distractions. But sometimes, like, you know, mechanically, you kind of have to rev the engine. Oh, boy. Yeah, I do. I do, but. Oh, I know. But no, I don't want to cuddle. Well, then let me ask a question then. And this is an adult show. Yeah. How come that isn't the case for you, Sienna?
It is sometimes, but it doesn't need to be all the time. Everyone's different. It happens, you know, depending on what's going on. I feel very different in a lot of ways now that there's kids in the house, too. Things just work differently. You need to adjust. Not like it was when you were dating. If you are watching Parks and Rec one minute and then trying to make things happen the next minute, you need a little work. You know, men and women are so different. Men don't need one second of work at any time ever. Don't need it, but you like it. That's so unfair. Yeah, you don't mind the little rev up. I like the rev up. I insist upon the rev up. Isolate. Isolate. I so freaking late. Wait, Woods. You're telling me that what you enjoy every once in a while is to make out. Did I say make out? No, but isn't that what we're talking about? I said rev up slash foreplay. Yeah. There's some other stuff. You know what I mean. You know what I mean. I think you mean to you. Absolutely. Oh my gosh. I like to both.
Jay, Jay, Jay. I need ammonia for my ears. I need ammonia. I need a shower. I need an ear shower. Ear shower. Ear shower. Ear shower. Ear shower. I need it. I need it. Alcohol. Swabbing tips. I need it. I need it. Reset. Reset. Reset. I need to take a shower. Oh, my God. If I didn't love this shirt so much, I would have just ripped it off. I love it. My stomach hurts now. I beg you. What? What? What? What? I do. Mike, the fact of the matter is, I enjoy both. I have a confession. I like to look, and God Almighty, I like to talk. Holy cow. Mike, this may come as a surprise to you, but I'm a giver and a taker. I like to give.
Even more than I like to receive, if you know what I mean. He's doing a bit in there for the ladies. No, I am not. Please, please, I beg of you, sweet Mary, to stop speaking. Oh, boy. Not because it's over my limits or anything like that, but because it draws to my mind things that make me terrified. Does it look like this? Oh, no! Please don't demonstrate. Please don't demonstrate. Oh, my God. I'm going to have to whitewash Mikey's eyes. That was a sight. I missed it. He was thrusting and hunched over while doing it. Sorry, kids, if you're listening. Yeah, kids and your wife, Kim. Your wife, Kim, just fell out of her bed. Sorry. Your wife, just Kim. He's okay. We don't do it. Well, we are different, men and women. We are really different in that regard. It's got weird in here. Anyway. So. Anywho. Here's some texts we got. Mikey, Bear Grylls regularly consults Jay for survival tips. We're still doing this bit with the Jay text. Hey, this is what people text in. This is what people text in. That's all we get. That's what they want. I can't help it.
Mikey, forget a cup of Joe in the morning. Nothing gets you going like a cup of Jay. Just ask my wife. 32 outs. Mike, it's also known as a big gulp. He's going in the coffin. He's in the coffin. It's what we do when we get to that level we want to die. You cross your arms and you're in the coffin. I think there was a couple more on there, Mike. He's done, Jay. You blew it. Can I get you? Oh, my gosh. Well, first he got me, and then you delivered the knockout punch. That's what I'm here for. Oh, today's a day already. Oh, it's been fun. It's a heck of a day. 6.43. Wrap it up. Let's see. Sexual terms. Say something else, Mike. I double dare you. I double dare you. Say log.
Just say love. I'll do something with it. Say post. Say post. Do it. I dare you. So check this out. Diane Sawyer is going to be interviewing J.C. Dugard. That was the girl that was held for 18 years. She had kids with the dude that held her captive because him and his wife were both a couple of freaks that kidnapped her. Right. She's written a new memoir. She's talking all about it. So anyway, here is a clip. I'm trying to imagine how you are coping. I'm trying to imagine. Diane, it's possible to be too delicate. Now, I didn't know that until this very moment. But now that I'm listening to you, I've just realized. Oh. You can actually be too delicate while interviewing someone. Even when they've experienced being kidnapped for 14 years and having a child by their abductor, it's possible to be too delicate. How did you? Is this level of smell? Just let me proceed. No, it's something that you don't like. I'm actually okay.
This is J.C. Dugard. You can ask the question. Oh, I see. It's okay. It's fine. We've been here 30 minutes. You haven't asked one question. Okay. Here's my first question. I'm okay. Are you sure? Yeah. I'm okay. Oh, J.C. You don't need to massage it. It's fine. Let's get to the deal. I'm going to Regis after this. Oh, J.C. It's really okay. Trust me. I'm trying to imagine how you... are coping. I'm trying to imagine. I don't know. I'm actually coping. I'm fine. Okay. I'm all right. Can you speak up a little bit? I can barely hear you, but... Jaycee? No, Jaycee, if I may continue. Continue. Oh, okay. Okay, I'm sorry. Please. I'm trying to place myself in your shoes. Well, you don't have to, and you can't really. Oh, but it... You don't have to. Nobody can really go through what I've experienced.
Your voice is good. It's deep. I went through a lot of changes. I lived in a backyard of tunnels, so things will happen to you. Well, don't cry. It's okay. I can't imagine being beaten to death, you know? And you can't imagine being kidnapped and raped, you know? Well, it sounds like Diane can. She's... Holy Toledo. Listen, I understand it's terrible what she went through, but... I think that people want to be treated as normally as possible. Sure. You know what I mean? It's just, you just do what you have to do to survive. She should be given a medal. Yeah. For sure. So August 18th, 1994, you're how old? 14. You're in labor and there's nobody there. Having a baby in a backyard. Yes. Please don't say it that way, Diane. It makes it...
Creepier. Can you just say backyard, please? Backyard is fine. Backyard. You don't have to do the whole drawn out backyard. Imagine if Casey started to mock her. She's like, what is backyard? I did. Very painful, but then I saw her. She was beautiful. What a trip, man. Because that's the old dude's daughter, too. But when you see the baby, it's yours too, right? That was mine. I wasn't alone. And I knew I could never let anything happen to her. You think Diane waited 14 hours till the next question? I'm sure. Eyes closed. Eyes closed. Casey's like, are you still there? Is this it? Is that it? Are we done? I got Regis. I gotta go. No.
Yeah, you know, I just wake up, I put my pants on one leg at a time. I just try to get through the day. Let me put... You don't need to... I don't want to put you in a pouch. I don't need to be... Can I put you in a pocket? No, I'm tired of being foot-blasted, trust me. I want to feed you with a bottle. That would be weird. You're really creeping me out. You creeped out enough, that is for sure. Last night, my son crawled out of his crib. Again? Yeah. Only this time he's doing it in the dark. So we have to turn the beds into normal beds now. The cribs have to be turned into normal cribs. Because a kid can crawl out of there. Does that mean he can open the door and stuff and walk out? Oh, yes. Just make himself a sandwich? Yeah. Make himself a Rob Roy. Yeah. If he wanted to in the kitchen. Woods, how tall is he? Would you say he's like, I don't know how big this is. That's probably, what, one, two, three feet? Is it? He can't be quite tall. Same size. Probably two and a half. Yeah. Two and a half feet? Tiny. Yeah.
Light as a feather. Light as a feather and tiny. Much tinier than his twin brother. Oh, boy. Now, smaller. He's shorter. And there's no way Ryan could get himself out of that crib. But Rebecca said that we have to turn both of the cribs into regular. Ryan is not as nimble as Luke is yet. He will be. I'll jump on the bandwagon, Woods. I don't think so, dude. I don't think he's going to be that nimble. Why did Sienna get so mad? Just say he will be. He's pretty. Like, he can climb a little bit. Nobody climbs like a little. No, no, no, no. He can't climb at all. A little. I saw him climbing a little. Yeah, bro, he can't get on the couch. No, no, no. Unnecessary. Excuse. Excuse. Unnecessary. Excuse. Unnecessary. Excuse. I'm going to play Ryan's podcast in 10 years. Woods says Ryan can crawl a little. The truth of the matter is he cannot. He can. He got halfway up. He got halfway up. If by half. If by halfway. You mean he put his arms on the couch. Then yeah. All kids grow differently. They develop differently. Oh, there's no doubt in my mind. He'll eventually be able to get on the couch. Don't compare them. I'm not. I'm just saying that one's nimble. One's not. Isn't that a little interesting? I'm not nimble. I'm not nimble. He'll eventually be able to get on the couch. Yeah, he will. Of course he will. Yeah. I don't know when. I don't know when. 14? 14. Stop it, Jay.
Jay, you're contributing to the delinquency of Mike Esparza. Oh, the kid is just something else. I love him. Sienna says, why is it that we clean our houses from top to bottom when someone comes to stay with us? But we don't do it really for ourselves. And it's so true. So true. Todd's friend, her husband's friend's coming into town today. And Sienna kind of feels like their house never looked this good. I want everyone to come over because it's amazing. It's like a museum. It's perfect. Yeah. It's like a Sienna and Todd museum. Everything has been hung. Everything we've been wanting to do has gotten done. Everything smells like lemon. Yeah. Pine salt. Oh, it looks great out there. We can live in our own filth. We don't have a problem living in our own filth. Our own filth. As far as it's ours. You know, you watch these shows like Hoarders and you go, well, how have you lived in that? They don't even notice. They don't notice their own squalor. I don't either. I don't notice my own swallow. Me neither. We do the basic cleaning, you know, but this was like our house. Deep cleaning. As if we were showing it to sell, you know. Wow. Yeah. I went into our bathroom last week and I had piled boxes and stuff just piled there. And for a moment, I looked at it and went, the reality of what this looks like right now, it looks like a hobo has moved into the bathroom.
Like a squatter is staying in our bathroom. And it's me. I did it. And we don't notice. 570-1949 is the number. M1 Chemistry is on the line from San Clemente. Are you there? What's going on? She was walking at like 11 and a half months. And she got out of her crib not long after that. So what we did is we got a, it's called a crib tent. I swear to God. I've heard of those. What is it? They keep them in. It's like a roof. It's like a tent that you affix inside the tent, inside the frame of the tent. Brilliant. It's brilliant. Put the tent inside, put the mattress in the tent. Brilliant. And they get in there in a mesh tent, yeah. You know what we should do today is me and you will go to the store and will buy us a couple of crib tents. I'll go with you. Give me one, too. It's a great idea, except that... We'll do about 2 o'clock. It's a great idea, except that me and you are going to be watching Lord of the Rings with my wife. How about I treat for the crib tents? That's fine. The only problem is you and I, we have a date with a couple of hobbits. And elves. And a wizard. Excuse me. White wizard. There is no black wizard. Sorry, L.O.B. Anything. What if you like it? I won't. What if you do? What if you do? I like girls. I like girls. I don't like hobbits and fantasy and nerd rings. I'm sorry. If you hate me, fine. Mr. Frodo.
I just realized that if I take one more step, this is the farthest from the Shire I've ever been. Right now he's lying back with his eyes closed. In his Deftones shirt. He's dead right now. In his Deftones t-shirt. He hasn't moved. Thinking to himself, I saw Chino Moreno singing with a Deftones a couple of weeks ago. And I'm going to be watching Frodo later today. No, Sam. Samwise. Some. I'll babysit your kids for like a month. Whatever you want. Wait until you hear how much more rich people shoplift than people with little money. This will blow you away. By the way, if you have a question for me that has to do with advice or any of that kind of stuff, go on your Twitter account and ask the question and then put pound ask Mikey. I love this guy. Since the Duke sex scandal.
More from The Mikey Show coming up. In a respectful manner. Be a part of the show. 570-1949. Uh, that, that, that. Or shoot him a text at 949mikey at gmail.com. Oh, go, go. This is The Mikey Show. You're welcome. On FM 94.9. Life's better with baseball. Okay, detailed inning-by-inning replays. Check. Reports from the dugout and clubhouse. Check. Complete MLB reports from around the league. Check, check, check. Mr. Tinky Dashboard Troll. You know, it's a good luck thing. Really? The Sequoia and Casino postgame show following most Padre games. Mr. Tinky. Hey, you never know, Johnny. You never know. Channel 4. The Padres are on the road, live from Los Angeles, 645 Friday. From the remotest corners of East County to the splendor of the Silver Strand. From the innovative entrepreneur to the triumphant competitor, join us for the real San Diego stories that the local news stations simply don't have the time to tell. It's all about San Diego, and it's all right here on San Diego Insider Magazine. Don't miss the next debut edition of San Diego Insider Magazine, 6 p.m. Sunday exclusively on Channel 4 San Diego. At Vons, we believe the standards you live by should be the ones you eat by.
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Signature fragrance. Lauren. When I was in my performing troupe of two mermaids, me and my sister, we once performed at a farmer's market. Woods. Pink is the new wine. Sienna. It makes me really sad when someone honks me. Like for the whole jam. And Jay. I'm not afraid of rats. I had a pet rat. On FM 94.9. Sienna, what do you got coming up in the news? Three PTA moms have been arrested for running a Ponzi scheme in L.A. Earned them more than $14 million at Neil Armstrong Elementary School. Yes, they've been arrested. Crazy. Also, a new study shows that there's no evidence between the cell phone bans.
which now you know you can't hold your cell phone up, it hasn't reduced crash rates is what this study is saying. So there's no difference in holding the phone up to your ear or talking in your car. It's both an equal distraction. Really? Yes. Oh, boy. I know. What's going on in sports? Sports is brought to us today by our friends at Frank's Red Hot. Frank's Red Hot. Get some! Well, Barry Zito. Beat the Padres last night 2-1. Padres need some offense, man. Ryan Ludwig actually hit a solo homer, and that was all the offense they had. Padres have lost two straight to the Giants. And a sad day in baseball as Hall of Fame manager Dick Williams passed away. Old school Padres fans will remember he did bring a pennant here in 1984. If you would like to ask a question of me, like, you know, you're looking for advice, you're looking for wisdom, any of that kind of deal, pound. Ask Mikey on your Twitter. So you ask the question and then you put pound ask Mikey, all one word. And that's called a hashtag. Rich people, apparently, shoplift more than people that don't have money. Yes.
30% more. Oh, wow. They shoplift 30% more. This new study found that Americans who make over $70,000 a year are 30% more likely to shoplift than people earning $20,000 a year or less. Now, there's a new book. It's called The Steal, and the author is saying there are two main reasons why rich people do this. One is entitlement. Spent so much money in the store that they can just take a couple things like they've earned it. That's filthy. Yeah. Filthy, filthy. And the other one is rage. They say that rich people have trouble handling their little problems. They feel like being rich should make those problems go away and it doesn't. So they take their anger out on something impersonal like a store. You know, it's a really interesting thing. I remember a few years back we brought this up. on the air and there are a lot of you know we found that there was a lot of women i don't know that guys do it as much maybe they do but we found there was a lot of women that shoplift i mean don't need that they don't like struggle with money they got the dough but they'll go into a place they'll shoplift and i remember talking to one girl because one girl i knew like very successful
And I was like, so what's up with it? And she's like, it's like a thrill. It was a thrill. As a kid, I shoplifted. You shoplift now. I don't. Don't you? I would, but no. When I was a kid, I shoplifted when I was five from the Circle K. And I carried this guilt with me for six years and finally confessed it to my mom. And it was like the biggest day of my life because I finally got up the courage to confess it to her. And she was really cool about it. And it was like, oh, my gosh. Everything was better. But I'm not kidding you. For six years, like, I was freaked out. Like, I thought the cops were going to arrest me. Yeah. Wow. As a little kid. What'd you steal? Gum. Stuff like that. So you really did have bubble gum in your pants. Creepy, Uncle Jay. A little bit. A little creepy, you know. I mean, it's a bubble gum thing, you know. If you think about it, you know what it is. And it's just kind of... It's Jay. Our old, creepy Uncle Jay. Weird. L.O.B. yesterday went for a run and then went in the pool to do some laps. Weird. She said that she was really enjoying herself. This is from her recap. Listen to this. As I was paddling around, I started thinking about Mike.
How workouts just need to be fun. So I think that you just need to find something fun, Mike! What about working out with Woods? Three question marks. As if to add emphasis to the question. Not one question mark, which would have done the job handily. Not two question marks, which would have... accentuated the point even more. But three question marks, which is just aggressive. And what it says, Mike, with the three, it says, you need to work out. You need to work out. You must work out. The three question marks say, not just you, Mike. Woods, too. But I'm subtly trying to suggest that Woods can use this, too. And the three question marks is going to drive that point home. No, the three question marks say, Eureka! I found it. Eureka. I figured it out.
Like, ta-da! Yes! Come on! She's just being all healthy in the pool, swimming around, thinking about how fat we are. Yeah! How fun it would be if we could find something fun. No, that's not what it was. No, I was just, you know, I was having so much fun. I didn't necessarily have a lot of fun when I was doing my run. But while I was paddling, I was like, man, this is great, you know? And I'm getting fit. And I was thinking about how you don't like to work at all. I was just thinking how you don't like to. And I was like, man, what can I find that would be fun for Mike? What does he like more than anything? Hamburgers. No. Chicken nuggets are good. I was working out with my trainer, Wendy, yesterday. And she goes, all right, we're going to do something new. It's called patty cake. And I knew instantly. If it's called patty cake, that sounds sweet. It's not going to be. I know that. So we started doing push-ups and slapping each other's hands. Oh, no. Show me. Can you show me? Yep. I just really need to see. And Sienna, you can describe it because you're really good at that. Oh, thanks, Woods. Get down and do a push-up. I can. Woods is now in push-up position on the floor. Mike is in front of him. Oh, my God. They are both down. Their heads are about six inches apart, and they're both about to do a push-up. Their legs are spread. And then when we come up, we're going to slap him.
Mike is explaining the rules to him. They're going to slap it. They're going down and they're slapping the opposite hand of the other person. Slap it. Slap it. Slap it. Slap it. Oh, I'm already sore. You did one. What you have to understand. My trainer is shredded. She is shredded. She could have done 40. I mean, she's having a full conversation. She's like, yeah, so I'm training these kids now. Oh my gosh. Yeah, and I'm like... She's like, oh my gosh, that thing you guys did on the show was so funny the other day. She's doing the slabs. I'm like, oh my gosh, how does she do this? Why don't you just get Woods to join you and then you guys will... It'll be fun. You guys will crack jokes. We wouldn't get anything done. I think you guys get a bike built for two and you just go for a long ride. Really? A tandem bike? Yeah. That'd be cute. Would be hysterical. Let's see. 570-1949 is our phone number if you want to give us a call. If you want to text us, it is 949mikey at gmail.com. Jose Baez was talking about Nancy Grace because, as you know, Nancy Grace has not been... You know, she is like the rest of us.
thinks that Casey Anthony was guilty. And so anyway, they were playing a clip of the stuff that she says to Jose Baez. Nobody was more critical of you or Casey than Nancy Grace. Oh. Is that your answer? I haven't even asked my question. So continue. No, I'll just... Okay. I mean... This case really got to her and her anger or her disappointment, whatever, and Casey. She kept referring to Casey as taught mom. It was the only way she would refer to her. She would not refer to her than any other way but taught mom. It was so annoying. So annoying. Handed you is something that she is still talking about. What do you have to say to that? Well, I think Nancy Grace is an entertainer. I don't consider it serious journalism. Some people may find that entertaining. I do not. when it has to deal with someone's life. Nancy, what do you think about that? Nancy Grace, obviously, on the phone. I object. Okay, well, you don't have to use courtroom terms just because you are a former lawyer. It doesn't make you any more knowledgeable. Sustained. You did it again. I believe. Mm-hmm. Jose Baez. Jose. Right. What he wants to claim he is. Right. Representing Tot Mom.
Don't call it Top Mom. It's just in case. He's representing Top Mom in this circus of events. I can't believe that people are even giving this guy interviews. He's a clown. He's not a clown. He won the case. I mean, you got to give him credit. He won the case. He didn't win the case. He just didn't, didn't lose the case. He didn't, didn't lose the case. He didn't, didn't lose the case. Sidebar. That's weird. That's a sidebar. I'm not going to sidebar with you because we're not in a courtroom. That's weird to say. Okay, she's doing it again. Right, we know that, Nancy. Are you in Iraq? Where are you? What are you doing? Don't call her. You know you're not. First of all, she's not in a house. She's in jail still. It's Casey. Her name's Casey. She didn't get up.
She didn't get out until the 17th. How this man falls. She didn't get out until the 17th. Nancy Grace on the phone. Nancy, she didn't get out until the 17th. You're not in front of her house. Yes, Top Mom will be released on the 17th. That's so annoying to call her that. Which is a travesty of justice in this union. On the phone, Nancy Grace. Thank you. Nancy, you're... All right. Thank you. Complete clown. Oh, my God. 570-1949 is the number if you want to give us a call. What is the second language for Jose Baez? What is that? It's Spanish. Is it Spanish or is it... Cuban? He's Puerto Rican. Is it Puerto Rican? Okay. Don't they speak Spanish? I don't know if they speak Spanish or some derivative or whatever it is. But when he would speak, I could hear something underneath there. Your Honor, I think there's something... that we should probably talk about before we get into the sentencing part of this. And that is... Spanglish. In the refrigerator. Every relative I had used to do that. He could be played by Andy Garcia. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Andy would have to put a couple pounds on.
He said a couple. Jay! He didn't say put on a toddler's weight. An obese toddler's weight. You'd have to eat a toddler. Which you probably have. Probably, I mean, listen, you like a vacuum. Yeah. Call you Hoover. How'd you kids? You know I stay quiet unless it's about fat, set sex. Or maybe imperfect. Or me. Right. Doing something great. Perfectness, fat. Being fit. Being fit. Sex. And that's it. I had you being stupid. Yeah. Being dumb or fat. Coupons, maybe. Stealing money or food. Yeah. In. For sure. Yesterday, during our meeting, Jay brought up some of the most hideous ideas. Oh, my God. They were fantastic ideas. When are we going to learn and record it? We did once. We did once. We got to do it again.
He goes, what was the one that I instantly said no to? Oh, man. Every single one. Just give me the topic. You were in a weird space. Just give me the topic. I don't know. I've thrown him away. What was it? It was the first one he did? Well, one of them was crazy, like over the top, just crazy sexual. Oh, was it? And the next one was like. Oh, I got it now. Have you ever faked it? Well, that wasn't so bad. Have you ever faked it? Oh. That wasn't the, that wasn't the, no, that one wasn't bad. Really? Because I immediately almost got punched in the face for saying that. He had a really sad military story that he brought to our attention. Yeah. He goes, hey, y'all. It happens. What if we talk about how tragic it is that while some of our military men are away, their wives cheat? I'm like. Well, I also brought up the other side of that for the women that are left behind. Maybe they need some.
Maybe I'm a guy to deliver it. They're gone for years at a time. Mike, have you ever heard of something called supply and demand? Okay. I got the supply. They got the demand. Perfect fit. Okay. Imagine if you got an oversupply. That's me. Right. A surplus, if you will. I got too much to give. This is just way too much. I don't know what to do with it all. I also said we could do Fear Factor, but nobody wanted to eat anything that was scary. Including you. I said I would do it. Jay wants us to stick ice cream in a blender and put cockroaches in it and drink it. Zero. I said, I'm a 41-year-old man now. I'm a college graduate, pal. I'm not drinking milkshakes with roaches in it. I'm not even a high school graduate. And I don't want to dub the milkshake with the roach in it. Come on. And Jay wouldn't do it either. He did not say, I'll do it. Y'all are wusses. I'll do it. What if we open the phones and we ask people the most expensive item of jewelry that they've stolen from a coffin? That's good. I like that. Let's open the phones and say, what's the saddest euthanization you've ever had to be a part of?
Best-looking grandmother who was embalmed. Hey, Mac, be clear about it. It's got to be a foxy redhead, a foxy blonde, big-breasted. If you were to murder your boss, what would you do? Where would you hide the body? Where would you put him? What if he was a tubby? Small. Can you get an extra-large coffin? To hide your boss. Mike. Mike, I brought this one up before and you said no, but I think this time maybe you're in a different space. Funniest eulogy. How about if you were to cheat on your wife, specifically name who it would be with. It has to be one of her friends. No, it's got to be one of our listeners. Yes. We do an M1 Cheat On. Cheat On. We call it the M1 Cheat On. But the only people that get to play is Mike. I have to name people. You got to say yes or no. And M1 Scuttlebutt. Yes, I would. Now, we get Rebecca on the phone, and then we name them off. All right? We're like, M1 Melissa, Mike. In or out, Mike. In or out. And then we hook you up to some sort of device that tests your blood pressure. In or out. What do you think?
Answer, answer, answer. Yeah, the game is called In or Out. Get it? Get it. I'm in. I'm out. Mike? Mike, are you in? Yeah. Gosh, grow up. Yeah, don't be such a Pollyanna. Grow up. This story that we're going to tell you about this cat and this woman with the cat is the creepy... I go. I first read it, and I said to myself, first of all, you have to be in a very strange way to be where this woman was to begin with, but then to... Now, do you think she was trying to harm the cat? No, I think she was just being a jokester. Like a clown. She was being a clown. And it went awry. Yes. One of the freakiest stories I've ever heard. And we're going to give it to you here in just a minute. There's a study that says that polar bears, they're really descendants from a single brown bear in Ireland. Yeah. And what did they do? They swam from Ireland to the North Pole? It's just said that these female brown bears lived along the Atlantic shore of Ireland and some 20,000 to 50 years ago, they came over and they...
On the Mayflower. Yeah. They made somehow polar bears. It was actually on the Nina, the Penta. The Nina, the Santa Maria. Yeah, but they used to be brown bears. I hear so much stuff scientifically that I just think is, I go, I don't believe it. It's a bit. I know. I think it's a guess. Yeah. Just throwing darts at a board. Yeah. 570-1949 is our number if you want to give us a call. There may not be that last shuttle launch today. Today was supposed to be the last shuttle ever. Oh, did somebody get shot in the head? No. What? That wouldn't stop a shuttle launch. Oh, that wouldn't stop a shuttle launch. That's right, L.O.B. The guy had to go. The guy had to go. I didn't have to. He had to go. Alternate. They get rescheduled all the time. I'm sure. She was doing wonderfully. His wife. You're talking about Gabrielle Giffords. Yes. He got shot in the head with a 9mm. Still doing good. Good? She's doing wonderful. She's really made a wonderful recovery. For someone that was shot in the head, it's all relative. She would have wanted him to go. If we could have asked her. If she could have spoken. Yeah. She did. She gave him a thumbs up. That's right. She did. Gave him a thumbs up. Somebody tied fishing line around her thumb and held it up. All right. And pulled it back. What's its offense? Somebody tied fishing line around her thumb and pulled it back. Imagine if someone actually did that. Look at him a monster. He's like, hey, I got the go-ahead. I got the go-ahead. It's filming it. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
L.O.B. tied fishing line to the sides of her mouth and lifted a smile. I'm good to go. The launch of Atlantis is supposed to be happening this morning. But there is a rainy forecast, so we'll see if they do leave. But they have until Sunday to launch Atlantis. Otherwise, they'll have to wait until the following weekend. Rain will stop you. Your wife getting shot in the head with a nine millimeter will not. No, no. Go ahead and get your bag packed. Get your tang ready and make it right. Stop it. So we'll tell you about this woman and the cat. It's so crazy. And Wheel of Pain is next.
Mikey Show coming up in minutes. If you quit, it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. So, be a part of the Mikey Show now. Hey, Rip Van Biden. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. And? Call 570-1949. What a wonderful day it is for him. What a wonderful day it is for all of us. This is the Mikey Show. The little mushroom people of Nova Scotia screaming with horror. On FM 94.9. At Vons, we believe the standards you live by should be the ones you eat by. Honesty, integrity, and real. That's why we developed Open Nature, a new line of 100% natural foods you can only get at Vons. No artificial ingredients, no additives, no preservatives. So they meet the highest standards of all, yours. You'll find naturally delicious Open Nature meats, cereal, yogurt, ice cream, and pasta. And since they're from Vons, they'll be well within your budget. This week is a great time to add Open Nature products to the menu. Plus, while you're here,
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This report, it's brought to you by CarMax. Selling your car is easy at CarMax. They'll give you a written offer, good for seven days, whether you buy a car from them or not. CarMax, the way car buying should be. We've got some backup on the 163 northbound between the 5 and the 52. Speeds are in the 30s in that area. Also on the 80s bound between the 5 and the 15, pretty slow. And that drive it through National City on the 5 northbound between the 54 and the 94. Speeds are about 40 miles an hour. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers, Toyota owners. San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 lube oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Good morning to you. This is Bird from Bird Surf Shed with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Friday morning brought to you by Frostfruit Coors Light, San Diego's finest beer, Coors Light, Golden, Colorado. Surf-wise today looking at a slow increase as some new rounds of south-southwesterly mix.
Start the show, and they should fill in throughout the day all the way through the weekend. Touch of west-northwest windswilts notched up a bit as well. Still starting off kind of small in that needle-waist tide range on average. Up to chest tide, the standout spots with even a few rare pluses. As the day continues, though, look for a gradual increase. Still pretty soft and lumpy from yesterday's winds. Gradual improvement, though, as tide does fill in later this morning. So look for some better shape and size then. Beach break's the most likely place to find a go out today. Reef break's starting to show a little bit of warm, but still kind of crossed up and lumpy for those particular areas. Got some light overcast along the immediate coastline right now. Looks like it's going to be an early burn-off. Probably not quite as warm as it has been, but still, a nice day is in the store for us. Water camp, plenty warm, too, in the upper 60s. For up-to-the-minute surf reports, forecasts, go to surfline.com, and this surf report is brought to you by Coors Light. It can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report. Mikey Show. With Mikey. There's a lot of guy stuff that I'm not into and a lot of chick stuff I'm pretty into. Lauren. You guys, I'm a middle child. I need attention. Woods. You know what my wife's number one complaint about me is? My clothes. I leave my clothes scattered throughout the house. Sienna. La Jolla is my favorite bubble.
I don't want to live anywhere else. And Jay. My kids' friends are always afraid of me. On FM 94.9. If you would like to ask me a question, if you're looking for, you know, what I really like to answer questions about is relationships. And so we're doing this thing called Ask Mikey with hashtags on Twitter. So if you have a Twitter account, just go to Twitter, ask the question, and then put the pound symbol, Ask Mikey, M-I-K-E-Y. You know, yesterday, my trainer, Wendy, was talking about how she's going to get a website going. And I told her, you've got to call Jared. CreateYourDesignOnline.com. He does websites. He does graphic design. He does all that stuff. And he can give it such a cool, like, Hollywood effect and make it look like that. And just look so high-end. It's what he specializes in.
So if I were you, I would check it out. Pick a Scene is coming up at 8 o'clock. It's going to be L.O.B. and I acting out the You're My Night in Shining Armor scene from On Golden Pond. And The Old Man That Does Science coming up at 8.30. Wheel of Pain coming up here in just a moment. Sienna, tell me about this woman and what happened with her cat. This 21-year-old girl, Danielle Blankenship, from Boulder. 11.30 a.m., got into an altercation with her boyfriend, apparently hit him in the face, so he called the police. The police came to check out the dispute that they were having and found a cat lying on the steps to the downstairs area of the home while the couple was being interviewed, saw the cat, saw that it appeared to be unresponsive, apparently got poisoning because she blew heroin smoke into its face.
What kind of whacked out broad do you have to be, A, to be sitting there just doing your heroin and then you're like, oh, I got an idea. I'm going to blow it in the cat's face. And it kills the cat. Well, we don't know if the cat is dead. The cat's name is Muffin. Oh, that's my cat's name. And Animal Control took Muffin to the Humane Society where he's being... treated for poisoning right now. So he's not, he's okay. No, we don't know. He's on methadone right now. They got him on methadone. I don't think he got addicted that quickly. Dude, heroin. It was heroin. I know, but I mean, what's to say that it was the first time that got him addicted? He could have been fine after the one use. I read that they are currently in the vet's office weaning him off with methadone. It wasn't cat crack. It was heroin. Actually, there's an update in the cat. Oh, don't. I don't want you to make up something sad. The cat passed away last night. That's super. 6.30 last night. Oh, Muffin. Sorry, Muffin. There will be tests to find out if it was from the heroin. I'm on Casey from San Diego. What was the word of the day? Hollywood. Hollywood? That was correct.
Very well done. And you are, in fact, going to Hollywood because we're sending you the L.A. Coliseum July 30th to see Rage Against the Machine, L.A. Rising Muse, Rise Against, and Ms. Lauren Hill. So hang on, okay? Thank you. All right, hold on. All right, you ready for Wheel of Pain? Nope. Come on in, Jay. Here's the way we play Wheel of Pain. I'm going to give eight band names to Woods and Jay. They're the two people that play Wheel of Pain. Now, I actually have... a wheel of pain here. A wheelie. I love it. And you can hear it. And I will spin it. It's got one good thing on there now, or does it still have two? It has no good things on there now. Oh. There are no good things on there? Give a foot rub. Get a foot rub. That is punishment. And we've come up with a new punishment, which is take a blast from a dodgeball. They tried it earlier, and it hurts. And it's awesome. It knocked the wind out of Jay. Oh. He's got a pretty good arm. There's three shots from a BB gun, three shots from a dog collar, three drops of hot sauce, three bag tag shots, which is right to the balls. Yes. Let's see. Dodgeball hit, which I saw this morning. Three days with black painted fingernails. Oh, boy. Three hippity hop hits, which are those actual hippity hops that little kids bounce on, but they're very strong, and they pound each other in the back with them.
Or give a foot rub, which is as good as it gets. I mean, that's as good as, out of all those, that's as good as it gets. So what I will do now is I will read band names to Woods and Jay. And whoever does better, are you going to take score, Sienna? Can you take score? I sure can. Whoever does better does not have to spin the wheel of pain. Again, these are band names, and I've made some of them up. Some of them are real. Who starts? I do. All right, Woods. Anorexic beauty queen. It's real. That's correct. Wow. Jay, girls times two. It's real. Dang it. I made it up. This may be your day, Woods. Shut up. Woods. I feel confident. Shut up. Forever the sickest kids. True. Yes. Whoa, Woods is on fire. Jay. Yes. Mayday parade. I'm going to say it's real.
Oh, no. Nice. Woods. Yes. Painter versus poet. That's fake. That's correct. All he needs is one more. Oh, my gosh. Did you cheat? No. Jay. Are you guys cheating? No. Jay. Yes. Army of goons. Fake band name or real band name? Fake. That's correct. It's fake. Woods has three. Jay has two. All right, Woodsy. Come on. Let's go. Woods. This is for the victory. Sugarcane and Abel. It's fake. now that there's no good. There's no good on the wheel. I knew it. I knew it. Job, Woodsy. Whatever. Job, Woodsy. Good job, Woodsy. About time. Hey, good job. Are you ready, Jay? Sure. Whatever. We are now going to spin the wheel of pain. Please be the dodgeball. Spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning. And three drops of hot sauce. I love hot sauce. Now. The hot sauce.
Woods is going to go get it. Three drops of hot sauce to the tongue. Oh, you got it. Oh, no. That guy? Oh, yeah. Oh, that is the good stuff. I won't go near that, and I like hot sauce. And I'm going to watch him do it. This is Dave's Insanity Sauce. I need to put it on something. Wash your hands afterwards. I have a question, Jay. Would we have... See, because Woods couldn't do that. Like, that would kill Woods. I would have to do it. Jay's putting it on pita chips. Would you really? I'd have to do it. It's on the wheel. This is hot, too. This is going to give you hiccups, I bet. Three drops. It's Dave's Insanity Sauce. Now, I'm telling you, I can eat hot things. Two. Oh, gosh.
That's plenty. I'm telling you. Three drops. Hey, let me tell you. Those three drops of Dave's Insanity Sauce is all it will take. It's like a bottle of Tabasco. Oh, no, no, no. It's much worse than a bottle of Tabasco. It's concentrated and it's made from different peppers than they make Tabasco with. This is real hot. Jay. Ghost pepper. Jay. You've been a good friend. Jay, we're going to miss you. Here he goes. Here we go. Put it on a pita chip. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Avoid your tongue. It's going to be a late hit. You poor, poor man. He's staring at the wall. He's just staring, staring. He's staring straight forward as he chooses. He won't smile even though we're laughing. He won't cry. He looks like a statue. Oh, no. Is it starting now?
What's back-tagged him? He punched him right in the voice. Oh, he's looking around. He's running out of the room. He's running out of the room. He's going to get water. Jay, how is it? Water won't help. Water won't help. Water will make it worse. I have a latte. Oh, it's a boiling hot latte. He's spitting out. Is he? Half and half. Oh, no. Half and half. He's drinking half and half. Oh, my gosh. His face is like purple. Oh, my gosh. He's drinking half and half. He's chugging half and half. It's dripping down his chin. It's all over his shirt. Oh my gosh. Ew, that is thick, that half and half. This is cool. This is so cool. This is so cool. This is so much fun. Chugging half and half. That's repulsive. That's repulsive. With half and half. Ew. And he's going like this. It was like all going down his goatee. That's almost like a punishment itself, drinking half and half. So let me just rewind here a second. Let me just rewind. Jay puts three drops of Dave's Insanity Sauce on a pita chip and eats it. Now let me explain. If I, and I am a person that can eat very, very hot food, very hot food. If I put one drop of Dave's Insanity Sauce on a pita chip, it's concentrated. It's gonna hurt. He put three.
He chewed it up, and it took a second. And right as it was starting to register, Woods bag-tagged him in the nuts. You're a monster. I'm the monster. He pulled my pants down in this studio where my wiener was hanging out. This is true. Jay? Oh, my gosh. Jay's eating. He's trying to get food down. He just drank. Do you want some of this? Is it still burning or no? It's still fire. It's still fire? Yeah, I think it's manageable. No. No. Oh, sounds like it. Where does it hurt the most? My tongue. The end of my tongue feels like it's swelling up. Don't get the tongue. I'm telling you. How do you not get your tongue? You can't avoid it. You try. L.O.B., have you ever tried Dave's? No. But I know that ghost pepper is insane. Yeah. And that's concentrated. They concentrate it. What they do is they just boil it down and boil it down and boil it down and boil it down and boil it down. It would make me throw up.
Yeah. I think you really actually, if that's the way Jay's handling it. When we were in Dallas where I met Woods, we were in Dallas. We did this bit called The Hottest Chick in Dallas. And it didn't have anything to do with appearance. We had girls come in and we brought chicken wings and we poured Dave's Insanity Sauce on top of it. Oh my gosh. Their lips. And they, these girls, and we were like, we'll only, they had to sign waivers. We said we will only take girls who can eat fiercely hot food. And the prize was you got to go see Guns N' Roses in Las Vegas. Wow. So they were highly motivated. And it was whoever could eat the most. They all got sick. They got contaminated. Yes. There. While they were there. Did you have a winner? Yeah. I had a winner. The last person to vomit. Don't remember how many she ate. But I remember that she was. It was a scary bit. I'd never do it again. Could have hurt people. Oh, it was way worse than that. It was like they were sick. My tongue is on fire. That might kill me. Oh, Woods. Stick your tongue in a yogurt. I'm going to make an executive decision. If Woods ever lands on that. Well, one drop. One drop.
But not three. Happy birthday. Jake. Wait a second. Jake can eat hot food. Woods yesterday. What did you eat? Sausage. My wife made this pasta that had spicy Italian sausage in it. And Sienna had a little bit. Woods had a little bit. And Sienna was like, oh man, this is really delicious. And Woods goes, yeah, it's good. And he was like, ooh, mamacita. I got hiccups. He goes, ooh, that's hot. And Sienna looks at him and she goes, it's like ranch. So spicy Italian sausage lit Woods up. I put, I use, just as a point of reference, I use three drops on my breakfast sandwich of ranch. Frank's Red Hot. That's what it was. He said he used Frank's Red Hot and Sienna goes, that's like ranch. Yeah. It's hot. It is the most, it's like ketchup. There's nothing. You know what I would describe? I would describe, it's got great flavor, but I describe Frank's Red Hot as savory. Yes. Yes. I call it on fire. I could use it as a marinade. Yeah. I call it.
You know, it's, it's, it gives it, it's zesty. Totally. It's why you can put it on everything because it's not overkill. Because it doesn't kill you. If Woods gets, you know, one of these backed down for him, then Jay should too. Well, the three shots for the dog collar, Woods doesn't like to be shocked either. I'll do that one. Okay, Woods. I like these broads that don't even participate weighing in on this thing. All right. Let me ask you, Woodsy, because you do, you have, there are two things that you're deeply affected by. Yes. One is getting shocked. I hate to be shocked. It really upsets you. It upsets you. It hurts more than a normal person. Oh, like more than a normal person. But I'll do it. He's got a sensitivity. I'll do it. I'll do it. Well, I got shocked when I was a kid, but I'll do it. What about this man's man on the show? He has a sensitivity. He does. I got shocked when I was a kid. Put these broads to the wheel. I'll do it. I'll do the wheel of pain right now. Oh, I want to see this. Do it. I would do that. You've already shocked me with the caller. Did you hear this? They both agreed. We've never been asked. Can we do it? I have more bands. I have bands. You'll really do it? We don't have bags, so we can't do bag tags. Yeah, you don't have bags. If it lands on bag tags, we have to spin it again. You guys should just kiss then. Yeah, open mouth. Who starts? I will.
Gotta keep score. Woods, you keep score. I am thrilled right now. I'm thrilled. I feel like I have energy. I have energy right now. Like, it feels like I'm... Okay, go. I feel like I got a B12 shot. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. You girls are badass. Go. All right, who starts? Me. Okay, Sienna. Now I'm nervous. You have to tell me if this is a real band or a fake band. Real band or a fake band. Okay. Long Duck Ron. Real. It's a fake band. Okay. I made it up. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Are you ready? Yes. Ella B. Rancid Nancy. Real. Oh, boy. I made it up. This is awful. Are you ready, Sienna? Yeah. JFKFC. JFKFC. Oh, my gosh. It's so bad. I'm going to say real. You're right. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. L.O.B. Ballsy Tallsy. Fake. That's right. It's fake. One to one. One to one. One to one. You ready, Sienna? Yeah. Bjorn again. Bjorn again. Fake. It's real.
It's real. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. L.O.B., dare to be stupid. Real. We're tied one to one. When is it? When do we know? We have two more. Okay. And we have a tiebreaker. Okay. Oh, boy. Okay. Sienna, grace war. Real. I made it up. L.O.B. gets this when she wins. Oh, no. The last one is dynamite hookers. Real. It's a real band. Dynamite Hookers is a real band. That's fine. Holy cow. Holy cow. This is the first time in the history of my radio career that I have ever had two chicks say, let's...
do it. You should have seen what I did when I was an intern. Yes! I had a hot pocket opened up, scalding hot, poured on my naked stomach. I've gone on a motorized scooter through hedges. I've done all of that. You two broads have more of my respect right now than ever. In fact, you know what we're going to do? Give them both raises. Yeah, we're going to give them both raises. Well, we are going to... Well, first of all, we're going to do our pick a scene when we come back. But we're also going to wait. Yeah, we should wait it out. To spin until we come back. Fine. Wow. You're a badass, Sienna. Sienna? Freaking badass. L-O-B. That gave me a charge of energy like I never thought I had. You guys ever just say stuff? I'm not complaining. Hey. Yet. Don't give them a hard time. These chicks just stepped up to the plate. We said stuff and then we followed up. Backed it up. Fair enough. I know the feeling. They walked the walk. He just has to get those. I love you both, and I'm so proud of you. Has to get them in there. Yeah, yeah. Let's go to commercial. Can we come back, get this over with? Katy Perry used to be, or used, a cat whisperer. You know, like Caesar whatever, who does it with the dogs. Only instead of a dog whisperer, it's a cat whisperer. What did she do?
She had the cat whisperer come over and help. She has three different cats. My favorite cat name is Kitty Puri. There was some problems between her three cats. So a cat whisperer came over. She said that he really helped the situation. She said he realigned their chakras. Yeah. And did hypnosis. We were like, wow, this is extravagant, is a quote from Katy Perry. Crazy. Hi, Mike. I'm the cat whisperer for Katy Perry. Yeah, Katy's my girlfriend. Are you serious? Yes, I'm here to whisper to your cats. My name is Bryce. Hang on a second. Can you hang on? Yes, I can hang on. Babe? Yeah? Did you call a cat whisperer? Yeah, something's wrong with Katy Perry. You're Russell Brand, Mike. English accent. Sorry. Darling. Yeah, babe? Did you call someone called Bryce? I totally called him. Is he here? He says he's a cat whisperer. What is he? Oh, sweet. Russell, can I come in, please? Russell? Yeah, you can come in. Thank you, Russell. How much does this cost? Don't worry about it. I make more money than you anyway. That's a true statement. Not ever since Get Me to the Greek. How did your movie Arthur do? Would you make $7? All right, fine.
Russell. You got me with Arthur? It's one of the worst movies ever made. Everyone makes a mistake. It's true. Where are these? Oh, is this the little guy? Hi, Kitty. Yeah. Oh, stop scratching me. Come here. Come here. What are you doing with the cop? What I'm going to do is I'm going to choke it out. You're fake. You're a cop. I'm not a cop. What you do is you choke it out, and then once it's under... That's when I do my whispering. So if you'll allow me to step out of the room, I'm going to choke this cat out. Right now. Can we do something gentler than that? Well, you won't see it, dear. Don't worry. I've got some heroin. Of course you do, Russell. When we come back, pick a scene and also we will spin the wheel of pain for Sienna. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. She's going to do it. I love it. Wow. It's next. With everything in this country tied up in the court systems, I think we need a little more of this. Part of the Mikey Show now. Shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. Call 570-1949. This is the Mikey Show on FM 94.9. At Vons, we believe the standards you live by should be the ones you eat by. Honesty, integrity, and real. That's why we developed Open Nature, a new line of 100% natural foods you can only get at Vons. No artificial ingredients.
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And you could have got your prescription, but you would have had a gazillion different frames to choose from. Right. You can take your prescription right in there, man. That place is insane. And you've got all those different brands. You've got all those different designer brands. It would be crazy for you if you're going to get prescription glasses. It would be crazy for you. to go, like, to a mall where they've got this small selection of frames or whatever. You go to some place where you know you're going to have an amazing selection. They got, what, what's three locations, right? Yeah, three locations. There's one in Sports Arena. It's behind the Sports Arena. Drive down Hancock, veer right onto Kurt. There's one in Kearney Mesa, the corner of Balboa and Convoy. And there's one in La Jolla Village Square Shopping Center in La Jolla. SunglassOptical.com. If you're the sort who refuses to compromise, then some might call you hard-headed, unwavering, a little set in your ways. At Coors, we'd call you a stand-up guy. Since 1873, we've taken a similar mindset when brewing our legendary Coors Banquet beer using only Rocky Mountain water and the best high country barley and brewing it in one place.
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Today, we take the battle to them. The 3D event of the year is now the number one movie in the world. Transformers. Rated PG-13. Not playing. Choose original HP Inc. HP. Hit print. This report, it's brought to you by Napa Auto Parts. Visit a participating Napa Auto Parts store or Auto Care Center this month. You'll get a $10 mail-in rebate for a Napa Legend 75 battery. See your local Napa Auto Parts store for details. Well, it looks like we've got a lot of slowing. One accident here on the 15 northbound after Felicita Road. It's over on the right shoulder. A couple cars involved there. But the 125 southbound between the 52 and the 94 is kind of slow. And the 52 westbound between the 805 Kearney Villa Road. We're seeing some delays in that. That area as well. This report, it's brought to you by Del Taco. You could come into Del Taco today for the ultimate grilled chicken burrito, grilled marinated chicken cooked fresh in their kitchen, loaded with eight layers of fresh ingredients only at Del Taco. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now, ladies and gentlemen, back to the Mikey Show. Quiet, everybody. We're going on the air with Mikey. Some guys do a bunch of stuff, but I'm not one of them. I'm going to be.
Are you? Yeah. Lauren. I think I need to be on Ritalin. Woods. You know what makes me happy? Copenhagen Long Cut, a fresh Dr. Pepper, and an eclair. Sienna. Just show me how to work the computer. And Jay. It's kind of my job on the show to try to destroy you. On FM 94.9. Sienna stepped up to the plate and is going to be spinning the wheel of pain in just a moment. Sienna, what's going on in the news? Well, the author of a new book about President Obama's late father, Barack Obama Sr., says that she found a government memo about a meeting between the elder Obama and an immigration officer, basically, which means they were going to put Obama up for adoption. Wow. Yeah, coming out in this new book. Also, a Seattle woman was hospitalized in Miami earlier this week from an accident from a police officer.
He hit this woman driving an ATV on the beach. Reports are now saying that the officer had been drinking. Oh, wow. Not good. Woods, what's going on in sports? Well, the owners in the NFL and the Players Association leaders met for more than 12 hours yesterday. Guess what? What? They still didn't hammer out a deal. Oh, perfect. Guess what? What? They're going to try again today. Oh, good. I'm sure it'll go somewhere. I'm sure it will. Also in the NFL, Tennessee Titans quarterback Kerry Collins has announced his retirement. A long career. 16 years in the NFL. Made it to the Super Bowl. Did not win one. Oh, wow. Yeah. You're listening to The Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the show. Woodsy's my sports guy. Over here is the LLB. She's our assistant producer. Sienna's our news girl. Jay is our producer. And our phone screener is Chris. That's gross. That's gross. Now, in just a moment, we are going to be doing Pick a Scene. At the beginning of the week, we picked two names out of a hat, and this week we picked me and L.O.B. The scene that we picked randomly was on Golden Pond, and we're going to do the You're My Night in Shining Armor scene. Currently, I'm wearing a gray wig with a bun to look like Katharine Hepburn. Gorgeous. I also have on a long skirt and a denim top and an old woman's necklace.
To be fair, you wore that in this morning. That is true. That is, yeah. I just call it Friday. Old Woman Friday. L.O.B. looks just like Henry Fonda did in the movie. She's got on the khakis. She's got on the cardigan. She's got on the white shirt. She's got on the round glasses, just like Norman. And she's got on the old Gilligan hat. I mean... It is... It's uncanny. It is awesome. It's identical Henry Fonda. It's identical Henry Fonda. If you were wearing makeup. That's right. That's one of my proudest moments. If you were a cross-dresser and wore makeup. He probably wore more makeup than me in that movie. That's true. He had to. Now... Get it over with! Sienna's going to spin the wheel of pain. I can't believe this. This is an epic moment. Here is what might be. Three drops of hot sauce, three bag tag shots. What would we do for that? She could slap her in the boob. Fine. It's L.O.B. and Sienna that do this. All right. Dodgeball hit. Three days with black fingernail polish. Three hippity hop hits. She has to give a foot rub. To what? Three shots from a BB gun or three shocks from a dog collar. Are you ready, Sienna? I'm ready. I don't know that I can see this. It's freezing everyone but me. Oh, God. Oh, God. Yes. Dodgeball hit.
What does that mean? Lauren throws a dodgeball at me? Yeah, one of the big exercise balls as hard as she can. Lauren? You know I'll go easy. Woods can throw it at me if he wants. No! She is a badass. Jay can throw it at me. I can throw it harder than you can throw it. No, you can't. Lauren's got to do it. Lauren's not going to throw it. Huh? I cannot let you get hit by that thing. I don't care. I played dodgeball in a league. Hold the door open. I would gladly. Can you hold the door open for me? She's out in the, uh, like our area. Woods is going to throw it. Woods, take it easy. I thought men and women were equal. Yeah. No. Then throw it. No, you just have to take it. We put our arms behind our back. Oh, you can do it. Yeah. Do butt. Hit her hard. Hit her. Hit her. Get her. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Right in the bottom. Sienna. She took it in the bottom. Right in the butt. I have a lot of cushions. Did that hurt? Oh, my gosh. She is a stud. I would rather have that than the BB. No doubt. Holy cow. That was awesome. Okay. Okay. Are we ready? Are we ready? Ready.
It's time for Pick a Scene. The scene is from on Golden Pond. I will be playing the role of Catherine Hepburn. And L.O.B. will be playing the role of Henry Fonda. This is the scene where poor old Norman. I can't look at you. Poor old Norman has forgotten where he's at. And he's had some problems with his senses. So here we go. That's why I came running back here to you. So I can see your pretty face. You're safe. You listen to me. And you listen good. You, after we're finished having lunch, we're going to gobble up those silly strawberries. We're going to take a ride down to the old country lane. And it'll all come back to you. You'll remember everything. Everything. You've been there a thousand times. A thousand.
You listen to me, Norman. Night in shining armor. Mike's eyes have been closed this whole time. I'm trying to remember my lines. You're my knight in shining armor, Norman. And you see, you're going to get back on the horse. And I'll be right behind you. And together we'll go, go, go. I don't like horses. You are a pretty old name, aren't you? Yes. I'm gorgeous. What are you doing with a daddy old son of a bee like me anyway? I have the biggest idea. Lauren's grabbing Mike's face. Scene. Scene. Bravo. And... Bravo. Oh, wow. That was great. You guys really gave all. I am sweating. I am taking off my skirt.
Yep. Not the first time I've ever said that. One leg at a time. And taking off my necklace. Your medallion. Taking off my round Benjamin Franklin glasses. Yes. And my fisherman's hat. They could also be used for Harry Potter. Or John Lennon. Oh, wow. That was really weird. It's like you left your body. Yeah. Yeah. You were Katherine Hepburn. Yes. I really tried to embody the part of Katharine Hepburn. I think you guys both nailed it. And you got the scene right. Thank you. Silence of the Lambs is finally going to become a Broadway or off-Broadway play? Off-Broadway musical. Seven years ago, the brothers John and Al Kaplan were talking about turning it into a comedy musical. And then nothing happened, so people thought the project was dead. But no, the Kaplan brothers just kept plugging away at it. Now, silence. The musical is playing off-Broadway. That doesn't seem like a good play. I mean, I don't know. It's still a comedy. A comedy. Yeah. Doctor. This is Story of the J. Lifted straight from news of the day. Every voice is weirder than the last. Sounds kind of like a Muppet when it's high. Story of the J is where we read a... We have Sienna read us a story that's happening in the news.
And then we have Jay do a voice. As you just heard Sienna say, Silence of the Lambs is going to be turned into a Broadway play. And on the phone with us right now, we have Hannibal Lecter. Hello, Dr. Lecter. Did you get that? No, I think he was trying to do the... What? Thank you, Dr. Lecter, everybody. Dr. Lecter. Dr. Lecter, everybody. That was Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Holy cow, my head is numb. My head is numb. My head is numb. He sang a song. A Broadway musical song. And thank you. I was expecting a line from the movie, not that weird song. Oh my gosh, that was the weirdest thing. Except for yesterday when we did Story of the J. That's the weirdest thing. Yes.
That I've ever heard. And Mondays will be the weirdest thing that we'll hear. We'll pop it. People, by the way, are really liking Story of the J. Oh, yeah. They really are. So, we haven't really got very many questions for Ask Mikey. Because I don't think people are getting the hashtag thing. But you can call us, 570-1949. Do you have a question that you are looking for advice? Or you want... Yeah, you want to ask for advice. What if they want to ask salacious questions? Sure. It's fine. They can ask anything. But, you know, the idea is that you call us 570-1949 and I will do my best to try to help you out. People will write me on email and stuff. And I love to do it on the air because people like hearing it. You can be anything. Anything you want.
But it has to be, well, really, I'm not going to put any limits on it. You can do whatever you want. What is this story about the woman that wanted to adopt her own kids? What does that mean? Oh, my goodness. I don't get it. Woods is very passionate about this one. I think he sent it to me. I haven't heard. There's a new adoption law in Illinois. Basically, they're reuniting a woman and her children. She put them up for adoption. And this new law in Illinois allows parents to regain custody of their kids if they can prove to the court that their parental rights should be restored. And so this woman decided she wants to be the parents again. And now, I mean, it's as simple as her just proving that she can be a good parent and gets them back. And she'll re-adopt. She'll adopt, in fact. Through this new law, she will adopt. her own children and how long have they been with the uh she lost custody of 10 of her kids 10 of her kids 10 of her kids yeah to uh drug addiction crap um i don't know how long they would they've been away it was a long time yeah she was smoking two of the daughters are now in their 20s well yeah you don't get them back that's what i said i read this story
Because they have a new family. Yeah. My wife was on the phone and I made her get off the phone because I read it. And I went, so, so, so, this lady is adopting a child. And I had a hard time because I had some misdemeanors on my record. How did that happen? I was, I was, I really try not to be hateful anymore and like bitter. Yeah. It's hard. It's very hard not to be. So I had to talk myself down from a small ledge last night. Yeah. 570-1949. Ask Mikey. You call us up if you have a question about relationship or you have a question about a situation that you're in or you have a question about something that you want advice. But you got to know where I shoot from. I'm conservative. Very conservative. Very right wing. you know, have some pretty hardcore values that I stick to and adhere to and listen to a lot of theological podcasts in the morning in the shower. So, I mean, it's important to know that when you're calling and you want to ask a question, but the number 5701949, guy, girl, doesn't matter. Whatever your question is, doesn't matter either. I'll take anything. Let's see. M1, is that Whoopi? I think that's Whoopi.
Let's see. Let me take it. Whoopi? Hi. Hi. This story, there's a big component that you're missing. Is it about the adoption thing? The adoption. Okay. The woman who's re-adopting her kids, her mother got custody. And she passed away. Her mother got the kids and adopted them. When her mother died, and she lived next door to her mother the entire time. So when she got off drugs. I mean, she's been in her children's lives since the whole bit, even when she was on drugs. Got it. So when the mother died, she wanted to get her children back. She didn't want them to go into the system, and the kids didn't want to go into the system because their mother was right there. So they had to start the process of she now has to re-adopt her kids to get custody of them back. So most of those kids are in their 20s. There's only, I think, and she even had more kids after she left. Why do you want custody of a 20-year-old? I don't think she does. I think she's getting, what, the ones that are underage. Is that right? What was the four? There's four out of ten that are still under 18. Does that change anything for you, Woodsy? Not really. I mean, what I learned through our adoption process is that there's a lot of red tape. And I'm not mad about it. It's just you read something like that and you're like, man, they did some digging on me. They did some digging on me.
and and found you know my i have a past i have a history i've gotten arrested a couple times all misdemeanors and they gave me the hardest freaking time you know it i sat in my office every day for three weeks for no bs eight to ten hours a day making phone calls to attorneys in four different states you know busted my ass to try to get this this thing done and uh man it's just it's gnarly to read hey this is a For all intents and purposes, a crackhead that gave up her kids. Well, here's the thing, though. In every state, you know every state is like this, that for a biological parent, the state's primary goal is to get that parent back on track to get their kids back. And enough time has passed and documented cases, because, you know, CPS has been in the family's life for a while, that this mother had a track record. of changing her life. Sure. I mean, and good for her. It's just hard to read that. It's hard to hear about people getting two chances when there's others that don't even get one. That don't even get one. Without question. That's exactly what I told Jamie last night. Without question. And for those, but for those parents who legitimately, and this woman clearly, she had 11 kids and she's only 20, was only 20 some years old. Wow. So you now.
that she's getting her life back on track you can't kind of yeah because it's that second chance because it's biological in order to do that and that's the you know that's the scariest part about adopting i mean it's something that i went through the birth mother that was giving us her child with one week to go was like it changed my mind and there is nothing you can do to stand in the way of a biological mother and her children thank you woobie we appreciate it you know you don't think after four kids you go you know what maybe i go on the pill yeah maybe you wear a rubber Maybe her religion won't let her. Well, if your religion doesn't let you. Does your religion let you smoke crack? Yeah. Or have premarital sex. Right. Nobody's perfect. Nobody's perfect. Hey, listen. She's adhering to one thing. But not another. But not another. She likes to smoke. She just don't like to wear rough. It'd be hard for her to wear one. M1 Taco Sauce from San Diego. Hey, Mikey, I need a little advice on a relationship situation. Okay. Okay, I have a really funny work schedule. It's really an eight-hour shift normally. I usually work from about 10 a.m. to 7.15 p.m. But the thing is, I work about an hour away, and I have a child who I only see on the weekends because when I get up in the morning, get ready for work, they're already gone. When I come home, he's already in bed because it's past bedtime. I only see her for about an hour or two.
He has to go to bed. And all this time away from home is really making her uncomfortable with the situation. You know, we're having a lot of problems behind that, my time away. So what kind of advice could you give me? Are you guys married? No, we've been together for a few years now. We're engaged, but we're not married. I would tell you the same thing that I would tell a married couple. And that is that, is it possible for you on the weekend to kind of catch up? Yes. Yeah, that's what, I mean, dude. The hard thing about the situation is this. Throughout the week. I had a guy write me with a similar situation, and I'll let you hear the rest of this off the air. But I got a guy write me with a similar situation. He's married, and he has a situation where he needs guy time. Now, it's a little different because you've got to work, but he needs guy time.
This was a source of frustration for me and Rebecca, my wife, because her deal is time. Like you give her time, it's like watering a tree. Some ladies aren't like that. Like L.O.B., she likes, you know, she likes her own alone time. So it might be something else for L.O.B. You know, for me, they call these love languages. All right. And so my wife's is time. What's yours, Sienna? To be told when we go out that I look nice. Yes. And stuff like that. Kind words. Kind words. Go a long way. Go a long way. For another love language is gifts. And I don't mean like gifts, like I'm going to go buy you something. Gifts meaning I write a note and I stick it on the mirror and you see this note and it really makes you feel like it's this little surprise. Yeah. Another love language is acts of service. That's mine. So when Rebecca, like.
gets my coffee prepared in the morning i fall a little bit in love with her a little bit more like it's like she's caring for me you know food same thing acts of service acts of services yeah and for some guys it just doesn't matter for some dudes it just isn't a thing you know it'll be something different and women same bit but this woman that this guy's talking about it's time she's made it clear that it's time So I'll tell you the same thing that I told the other cat that wrote me. You got to carve it out on the weekend. Rebecca and I, it was like a negotiation. It was like we were in an office and we were going through a negotiation with one another. Because I said, I have to have time on the weekend where it's just me. And I just spend time by myself in my man cave or alone. And I just get to decompress. And it took her a while to even get that. Like it didn't make a lot of sense to her and she, you know, was a little resistant. But then she got it and said, okay, so we negotiated. My alone time is now from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. on Saturday mornings. So from 7 to 9, that's me. Nothing can be asked of me. Nothing can be, you know, I get all that time of myself and then at 9 o'clock we're off and running. Kid time, all that. So just negotiate it.
570-1949 is the number. When we come back, the old man that does science. Jay, the old man that does science, and we see a table set up in here and a camera ready to film it. We have had a busy morning, and it's only getting more busy. 570-1949 is our number. Skeletor, that's Terminator's wife. You think you got something worth adding to the Mikey Show? At 949Mikey at gmail.com. Or call Mikey now. 570-1949. I don't like how this is already beginning. FM 94. It's Hillary with some shows for you to go see. On the 22nd, Johnny Votto's Boingo Dance Party. That's at 4th and B. A Perfect Circle played the open air theater on the 26th. And on July 29th, FM 94.9 presents Black Rebel Motorcycle Club at the Del Mar Racetrack for a 4 o'clock Friday. Slightly Stupid hit Cricket Wireless on July 30th.
August 2nd is the next FM 94.9 about the music show. The Bell Brigade will play the belly up for only $6. And Transfer played the belly up on August 4th. With a bunch of other good shows coming soon. Death Cab for Cutie, Devo, Butthole Surfers, Two Nights of Thievery Corporation, TV on the radio, and The Misfits. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 concert calendar online at FM949SD.com. Listen up, shoppers. Right now at Old Navy, it's the best summer sale ever. You get U-verse. It's really awesome. You get it for $29 a month, six months with a DVR included, and you can order today. You can get up to 132 channels, and here's what they will do for you. You call them today and make sure that you mention that you heard this on The Mikey Show, and you're going to get HBO and Cinemax thrown in for free for three months. Here's the number. You can even call now, 877- Only ATT. 877-only-ATT. Or you can go into an AT&T store. It's that easy, too. Again, mention the Mikey Show. And tell them that you want that $29 a month for six months with the DVR that's included and the HBO and Cinemax thrown in for free for three months. Just make sure you mention the Mikey Show. AT&T U-verse, a better TV experience, man. It's 100% digital. The picture quality is amazing.
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Price and participation may vary. McDonald's would like you to know that they're open late. They're also open late, late, and way late. In fact, many locations throughout San Diego County are now open 24 hours. So drive through any time. Participation varies. ProPhil Institute for Clinical Research hopes to make a difference in the lives of future generations of diabetics by taking part in research on possible future diabetes medications. Currently, ProPhil Institute is conducting a clinical research study evaluating an investigational oral medication in people with type 1 diabetes. If you've been di... Once again, call 1-866-245-0373. for more information on participating in a clinical research study with Profil Institute. That number is 1-866-245-0373 or email Profil at volunteer at profilinstitute.com. Six Flags introduces Green Lantern First Flight, America's first vertical spin coaster, now open in brightest day, in blackest night. No evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might beware.
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This report, it's brought to you by Wawenesa Insurance. Better service, lower rates, and dependable coverage for your auto, home, or condo. Call 877-Wawenesa or go to wawenesaus.com. Rate shopping, it can pay off. 5 southbound ramp to the 15 southbound. We've got a car blocking the number one lane. It's causing slowing on the south 15 from the 94. South 5 is affected down to J Street. Also looks like the 8 eastbound between the 163 and the 805. Pretty slow westbound side is slow from the 163 to the 5. And the 805 northbound between the 163 La Jolla Village Drive speeds in the 40s. This report brought to you by your San Diego County Toyota dealers. San Diego Toyota dealerships have a 2495 loop oil and filter replacement for United States Armed Forces members and vets, including your immediate family. See your dealer for details. I'm Stacey. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I got a box of, you know, stuff in the mail because I like to shop on the Internet. Lauren. I know all the rules. I just break them. Woods. I don't like to work out with people. I don't like to play video games with people, and I don't like to work out with them. Zienna. I made reservations across last night. And Jay. I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. On FM 94.9. Hard for Dave Grohl to put together the wrong cords. I know. It's like they all just kind of work out. Dave Grohl.
Jay the old man that does science coming up next. So you know as you listen to Jay the old man that does science, I never know what he's doing. Never. And so I have no idea what he's doing. I see a bunch of balloons, but I don't know what he's doing. And I don't want to know. The reason I don't want to know, there's a phrase. Something about... Ignorance is bliss. Yeah, ignorance is bliss and also is the best form of deniability. Oh, I was going to say better ask. forgiveness and permission. What you don't know won't hurt you. There's something about deniability. Monkey see, monkey do. A bird in the hand is worth one in the pouch. You can lead a horse to water. None of those. They are those. Mind your P's and Q's. He's got on his lab coat, says gynecologist. Real creepy name on there. Let's see. Want to let people know that tonight's 8 o'clock album is Social the Stars. Garrett. Oh, Garrett. Mommy's little monster. Garrett, you're really into that one. You're like Social D. Yeah, Social D. Garrett. Are you nervous? Yeah. Yeah, I am too. Where is my old man that does science? There's a match.
Hanging in a balloon. Oh, boy, that means fire. It's inside a balloon hanging by a string. Great. Where is it? Where's the old man that does that? Jay's the old man who does science. He's the old man with technology. Wow. The old man who does science. The old man with technology. You know, he blinded me with science. I will tell you what's come true. But he failed in biology. At least he's in the same room. When he does things that are not in this room, that freaks me out because I know it's going to be more dangerous. Challenge to that. What is that? Look up to the ceiling. See those black marks up there? That's from one of his science experiments that he did in the room. True. Remember? It's true. I forgot. That's right. It's black on our ceiling. It's charred. Hello, boo. Hello, boo. Hello, boo. Jay?
Yes. What are you doing? Well, I've got my able assistant, Josh, in here to help me. This is actually his laser. Is that Josh Winery? Did he get you the thing? He had to get you a deal, right? It actually belongs to him. I went out and searched in the M1s and asked for a laser, a high-powered laser. Let me talk to Josh. Josh, what constitutes a high-powered laser as opposed to just the kind that you hold in your hand that you play with the cats? A high-powered laser like this is actually powerful enough to set things on fire. Are you kidding me? Comforting. Okay, Josh, come over to this microphone so I can hear you better. Or that microphone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to know. What is a laser like that actually for? They really don't have much of a practical use. For me, it's just purely fun. How can you get your hands on something like that? The internet. The internet. That's pretty awesome. It's got a lightsaber. Yeah. It has been compared to a modern day lightsaber. Wow. That's incredible. Okay. So, Jay, what's with the balloons and what's with the protective eyewear? Well, when you're really close to the laser. Oh, boys, you're screaming. I'm sorry, screaming. When you're really close to the laser, it's good to wear the protective eyewear. You guys will be fine as long as I don't point it directly in your eye. Please don't. Because it would blind you.
Oh, boy. Oh, my gosh. It's got a setting on it. You have to hit the buttons in a certain sequence to get it to even start up. Like, it's got a lockout on it. It's pretty BA. Oh, my gosh. Are you nervous? Oh, wow. Am I nervous? Yes. Oh, no. Is that monitor on? Yeah. Let's turn it off because we're getting feedback. Okay. So, Josh, will you come turn me on? I'm not even going to look. Oh, look. He gave us eyebrows. He said, will you come turn me on? Then he looked us directly in the eye and he made his eyebrows go up and down. See what I did there, Matt? Oh, boy. It's flashing blue. Don't look at it. We can't look at that? I looked right at it. I'm looking at it. Is it okay to look at it? No? Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. He's popping balloons with a laser beam light. From a distance. From a distance. Come a little closer. Oh, gosh. This is weird, dude. I don't know. These balloons are resilient. Is something going to happen? Oh, no. Are you tricking us? Oh, gosh. I'm blind. I don't know why that won't pop. Am I not supposed to look at that? I can't look. Don't look at it. So now I've done that. I popped like four balloons right now. Oh, wow. Now I'm going to light the match inside the balloon. Oh, my gosh. You're going to light it with the light? I'm going to light it with the light. Is that still on high power, do you think? Okay, here we go. Let's see if I can get it. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. That scared me real bad. I wasn't supposed to do it that quickly. Oh, boy. Here, I'll just do this. Oh, Jay. You're a scary man. He has a match in his hand that he's lighting with this laser. He's lighting a match with a laser. Oh, I just stared at it too long. I've been staring at it. I've been staring at it the whole time. I feel like I've stared at the sun. My eyes hurt. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. You lit the match. Oh, wow. With a laser. Hey, you got to point it at the thing, though, Jay. Jay, you're pointing the laser at the material. It's not going to burn that. It's not going to burn that. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. There it is. Oh, my gosh. I hate this. It scares me so bad. I didn't like that one. I know. It scared me. It scared me. He's the old man who does science. He's the old man with technology. Woods, it's just math. Eventually, this is going to go wrong. Oh, there's no question. It's simply math. My eyes hurt, too. And I see spots. But he failed in biology. Oh, yeah. Oh, gosh. My stomach is churning. We got an anonymous email. Oh, I feel sick. I feel like Ray Charles. Oh, my God. Do I have, like, snot running out of my eye? Oh.
That was one of the weirdest. Wood stared at it the whole time. Let me tell you something. In terms of anxiety, because I have anxiety every time he does, Jay the old man does science, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be calling Debbie back at Clear Channel begging for a job. I'll take anything. Put me at night at Channel 93. I got fired. Please answer the call. I'm like, we're going to get fired. All of us are going to get fired. Every time we do the bit. That one skeeved me. Like, he's got a laser beam that lights things on fire that you can't look at because it'll burn your eyes. He popped balloons with it and then lit a match on fire with the laser beam. Understand this, too. He's crazy. Like, he's the guy that will jump over a lake on a rope and a tire. You know how you see kids in videos do it and you're like, why would they do that? That's Jay. At 48, he'll still do that stuff. Absolutely. He'll build, like, bombs, homemade bombs in his house. Right, and you'll be like, you know how when you watch those things on YouTube? You know how when you watch those things on YouTube and you go, who's got the rocks to do that? Like, I would never do that, Jay. Jay is the guy that would get on his BMX and ride off the roof. Yeah, into a pool. Into a pool. This email says, hey, Mikey, I'm more than embarrassed today. Now, this is an anonymous email.
I have the email address, but will not give it. Mikey, I'm more than embarrassed today. My girlfriend's auditioning for American Idol. True story. This is going on right now. She's been practicing for weeks. But dude, dot, dot, dot, dot. She's not good, dot, dot, dot, dot, at all. I've been noting but supportive. I think he means nothing. I've been nothing but supportive when she sings. But now I'm second guessing myself. Should I have told her singing isn't really her thing? There's no way that she'll make it to Hollywood and I have to deal with a fallout. That or this is going to be a rough weekend. M1 Anonymous. Well, yeah. Let me explain why it's going to be a rough weekend. She's going to come home. You're used to it. And when she does, she'll walk in and she won't be crying. But as soon as your eyes meet.
She'll start to cry. And then you will have to do the old bit that you've done forever. You will have to show her how supportive you are. And you'll have... I don't feel like I told him in the right way. You'll have to be the supportive boyfriend saying the stuff that you've said 1,000 times. It's okay. It's fine. You're going to be just fine. I'm really upset. I know. You tried so hard. You're so good. They're so stupid. I don't know. You're good. You're real good. I don't know why that they wouldn't pick you. I'm blown away. I'm really blown away. There's a part of me that's even a little mad. I'm terrible. I'm kind of furious. You're not terrible. You're really good. Listen, you're good.
You should try out for the voice. You know what? Maybe it's the look. You're very pretty. Don't get me wrong. No, no. Hey, listen. They look for a type of cheesy person. You're not cheesy. You're very talented. They are so stupid. Oh, I can't believe they didn't pick you. I'm floored. Now, could you iron my shirt? What? My gosh. I'm going out tonight with the guys, and I need my shirt ironed. I have hot coffee in my head. You better be careful. Holy cow. On American Idol, when they show the bad people singing, how many times do we say, where was their friend that told them they were bad? Yeah. Isn't it the boyfriend's job to like, I mean, I know it's a hard thing to do, but don't you need to break it to them? Like, no, maybe not try out. You're not quite. Not if they, if they feel that they're good, then you have to. What? You got to support them, right? Yeah. You have to support them. What if they ever say?
I mean, do you think I'm a good singer? Or do you think, like, do you think those judges are right? Like, what should I do? Should I keep singing? You just sprained my brain. Yeah. I do not. That's going to happen. Role play. What would I do? What do you do? Role play. So I'm like, now I'm second guessing everything. I'm like, I always, everyone around me always told me I was a good singer. Yeah, babe. I was in chorus. Yeah, I know. What do you think I should do? You were in choir when you were in fourth grade. Yeah. I was too. What? Here's the deal. Here's the deal. It's not so much about your voice. It's, you know, they have a certain thing. I know, but that's what I'm saying. I'm guessing everything. Do you think I'm a good singer? Yes. I do. I think that when you sing around this house and this house only, I think that's good. I think that you do really good. Why are you saying just around this house? I was saying around this house, you're amazing. Hey, bro. Hey, Melissa's not here, right? Dude, they're doing American Idol auditions. You should send her. Maybe she'll make it to the stupid ones.
That's my idiot. That's my idiot. He's drunk again. Hey, Toadie, I'm here. I was just kidding, Melissa. Thanks a lot. I was kidding, Melissa. Babe, no, no, you're good. You wouldn't make it to the stupid one. But I know you said, hey, would you get, there's a stack of dishes that are piling up and they start to stink a little bit. Would you get those dishes? Shut up. And I'm going to go ahead and eat that shirt pressed. I hate you. Light starch. Just light. I don't want to look like an idiot. I don't want to look like George Strait when I'm out tonight. Just. I just need light starts this time. Please, no George Strait. Oh, my gosh. I wasn't ready for George Strait. Yeah, you don't tell them. You don't tell them. You lie to them. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't advocate lying. But what I do say is if they ask you, you have to... What about the day they make it through and they're on TV and you know your girlfriend's going to be on like, hey, hey, hey. And then you'll be really embarrassed. You say something. No, you do not. You can't. I would. Sienna would. Sienna would. You give constructive criticism. Like, I think it's just maybe like your pitch. Oh, no. L-O-B, that would infuriate me. Like, what if you went to a vocal coach and they helped you with your pitch? Because I think you have a good tone of your voice. I think it's just... I would be... If it was me that came up, my wife was like...
It's the pitch, babe. Your pitch is off. I'd be like, who are you? Randy Jackson. Easy, Randy. We probably won't get one call, but I'm going to try this. If there's anybody that feels that they're a good singer, call us right now and sing acapella. Listen, I will honor it. And we will be for real with you. Honest caps. Honest caps. And you're probably good. If you're willing to call 570-1949, you're probably a good singer. And here's the other thing, too. They cut the age off at 28. You can't be older than 28 years old. And there's probably people listening right now that are damn good singers, but they're 36. Yeah, we may have the next Susan Boyle out there. Yeah, 570-1949. Now, Susan Boyle was a tough one to use there as an example. I feel like that was kind of like a low blow. It's a real low blow. She said low blow, but she's speaking that real cocky. 570-1949. We'll let you sing a cappella.
Or if they're at the American Idol auditions now. I want to hear from someone. I don't think I could sing acapella on the radio. I think I'd lose my mind. I'm nervous. What's that? Let me do Willie. What's the Willie song? Always on my mind. You're always on my mind. That's a bit. You're doing a bit. I should do that, though. I should go into American Idol and not say a word and just do that. America's got talent. Yes. You could. You're always on my mind. You're always on my mind. Excuse me, this is Sharon Osbourne. Is that, are you a singer or are you an impersonator? No, that's the way I sing. You're always on my mind. You're always on my mind. Tell me.
Tell me of your sweet love and the time. Wow. That one light show from El Cajon. Are you there? Yeah, I'm here. What are you going to sing for us? Well, I actually tried out for American Idol like several times and didn't make it because I was too nervous. What are you going to sing for us? I'm going to sing Black Velvet. Let me hear it. Oh, yes. Let me hear it. So, is that enough? Oh, keep going. Yeah, I wanted to hear more. More, more, more, more. And try not to push your phone buttons. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Back the phone off a little bit. It's okay. It's all right. Yeah, back it off. Back up off it. Yeah, back up off it. Back up off it. Get some breathing room. Okay. So, where was I at? Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet and that little boy smile. Black Velvet
I'll explain that. Oh, you are a mother. I guess we're all just going to sit here and we're just going to pretend. Is that what we're going to do? It was amazing. It started shaky. May I address the court, please? I thought that she had nice tone. However, I felt that there was nothing special. There was nothing special. You see, I think that with a professional singer, there has to be this characteristic in the voice that's very different. Like Miley Cyrus or Katy Perry. Exactly. That's actually true. They're not different. And so what I would say is that although she has a good voice, it's the type of good voice that you would hear if you went to a karaoke. And she was giving a karaoke performance. When she was done, people would be like, dang. Not bad. Not bad. But to be a recording artist, you've got to have that special something. Now, what I do not have in front of me, however, is you. And you may be gorgeous. And if you are gorgeous, I would change my mind because it's not just about the voice. It is about the whole package. So if you were really, really pretty, I would probably put you through to Hollywood. But maybe not. Are you really, really pretty?
I am really, really pretty. See? Well, then you probably, I'm surprised you didn't make it. Mockers. Because you do, I mean, you have a nice voice. It was great. I don't mind being this, I'm being completely honest. Now, I think when these microphones go off, this is what I'm going to hear. I'm going to hear from Woods, eh, she's alright. I think L.O.B. will be like, whatever. What? Don't put words in my mouth. I think Sienna will go, I think she was good. I have played in bands and played live. I would play live with that girl. She sounds good. You winch! You winch! I used to be in a band. Easy, Tommy Lee. I used to be in a band in Dallas. I would sing and play with that girl. Duet? She was great. Well, thank you. M1, Phil from La Mesa. What do you got for us? I shot the sheriff. Let's hear it. In the bathroom? I'm the deputy. Deputy. Dude. How old are you? Are you kidding? Dang. I've been playing music for 35 some odd years. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. I've been saying this for so long. I said that show, that's a new show. A new show is take the age restriction off of it. Senior citizen idol. You're a jerk. You're a jerk. America's Got Talent is all ages. Yeah.
That's what I've been saying. Simon Cowell's doing the X Factor here. And it'll be all ages. Sponsored by Geritol. Yes. Listen, I thought you were great. Yeah. That was awesome. I thought you were 30. I thought you were younger than that. I still play three or four nights a week. I pictured some young dude, no shirt, at the beach, playing in a pair of shorts. Where do you play? All over the place. We play at Humphreys, Patrick's 2. And two or three bands in the area for the last five years. Dude, you're good. That's really good. You're good. Very jealous. All right, 570-1949. Thank you for the call. We got people on hold. When we come back, we're going to do Mikey Idol. Yeah. All right? Why not? 570-1949. Call us right now, and we will talk to you, and we'll let you sing. That was good. If you got that, call us. Little Sunshine has a temper sometimes, but he's not all bad. Mikey. Text him. He's a real beef castle. 949mikey at gmail.com. What? More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. Cox Advanced TV is way more than just TV. It's the absolute best seat in the house with free HD channels. Cox Advanced TV is a 3D movie theater playing the hottest new releases up to 28 days before Netflix or Redbox. And with My Prime Time, it's also a TV genie that puts the shows you miss at your command whenever you want to watch them.
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pulled pork sub it features slow roasted pork smoky barbecue sauce for a limited time at participating quiz notes well the five southbound ramp to the 15 southbound there's a car that's blocking the number one lane they're slowing on the south 15 from the 94 also the 125 northbound between the 94 and grossmont boulevard we're seeing some delays southbound side from the 52 to the 94 is also pretty slow heading into the eight eastbound this is between the 163 and the 15 we've got some backup that westbound side It seems to be moving pretty well from the 15, though, to the 5. This report also brought to you by CarMax. Looking to sell your car? Take it into CarMax today. You'll get a free appraisal and a written offer to buy. It's good for seven days. CarMax, the way car buying should be. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. KDZT, San Diego, Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like thick. I don't like thick. Lauren. My handbag is made out of recycled kimonos, okay? Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. Zienna. Look how fair my skin is. I got freckles. Get out of here. And Jay. Yeah, back rubs are kind of a specialty of mine. On FM 94.9. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Live in July, where we have a live... Every single broadcast day in the month of July in the 9 o'clock hour. And so, if you want to be a part of it, it's easy to be a part of it. All you need to do...
is go to MikeyShow.com and you can get in here and be a part of our live studio audience all month long in the month of July. It's pretty cool. It smells so good in here. I know. I know. Well, HB just turned me on to something great. My wife is going to be like, great. More stuff. She smelled really great. And I go, HB, you smell great. And she goes, yeah, it's Bath and Body Works. And I go, I wish that they did stuff for dudes. And she goes, they do. And I was like, what? What? Excuse me? What? I've never seen anyone Google so quickly. Ever. I was Googling within five seconds of her saying it. And they do. They make dude stuff. Twilight Woods. You know that. Sounds perfect for you. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Two things that. You always think of the two together. You always think of the two together. Not embarrassed at all. He is a good friend and a lover. That was a clip. I didn't say that.
Put your tiny hand in mine. That Woods didn't just say that. That was a clip. Hey, is the monitor turned on for people? Because I had him turned off earlier, but okay. So you might walk in one day and say, I'm wearing Twilight Woods. It's a true statement. I will look forward to that day. That is a true statement. Okay, so we have people on the line that are going to do Mikey Idol. Let's see. M1 April from Kearney Mesa. Yes, hello. Hello. You are going to sing Janis Joplin. Yeah. I should say that I do have a great boyfriend and I asked him if I should try out for American Idol and he said, yeah, you'd probably make it to the first round. He's being honest with you. Okay, now you need to hold the phone away so that we can hear this good. Okay. Let's hear it. Not bad. I liked it. I liked it. It was a cough drop in my throat. I'm telling you what, though. The main thing that's missing is the human being in front of us. That changes everything. This is like the voice. This is like the freaking voice. Oh, my gosh. What would I have said without the voice? I mean, without the look, just by the voice, it's like...
Yes, good voice, but, you know, is it enough of a voice to push you over? How old are you, April? We've got to ask. It's the whole point. I am actually 28, and I am in a band. Okay. Oh, cool. What does your hair look like? Yeah, what does your hair look like? I'm blonde. Long, short hair. Bust? Long, short hair. What's up? Busting hair. Waist? Waist. Ignore them. You guys, shut up. Ignore them, April. Hey, as creepy as it is. It's important. Excuse us. You guys, same with a guy. It's the same with a guy. If a guy were on the phone right now... We wouldn't say, what are your shoulder measurements? I would say, what do you look... I would say it in a heartbeat. I don't have a damn problem seeing anything other than that. What's your inseam, pal? Yeah, privet. Well, April, I think you sounded good. I did too. I like it. Thank you very much. M1 Casey from Marietta. Are you there? Yeah. What are you going to sing? Before he cheats for it. Yeah. All right. Crazy, huh? Off you guys. All righty.
Maybe next time I'll thank before he and she. Woods. All the way in. Loved it. Are you there? Yes, we are. We're going around the room and we're doing the judging bit. Woods. I'll be Simon. Woods. Yes. What do you think? All the way in. Great job. You're going to Hollywood. Lauren. I think awesome. Just be careful of imitating who you're singing. Sinner. A little oversung at parts, but great. I thought it was dreadful. It was, I thought, I thought, I thought that it was the same type of singing that you would hear at any apartment while walking upstairs and the little small rectangular shower window has been opened a bit to allow the steam to come out. And I'm embarrassed because someone's singing. Now, they're not singing awful, but they're certainly not the American Idol, in my opinion.
Wow. You are a tough judge. I'm a tough judge. Seriously. East German judge. But hey, you'd still be going to Hollywood right now, my dear. You would be going to Hollywood because you got three yeses and one no. So you're going to Hollywood. Send us your picture. There you go. And Casey, how old are you? I don't see. And she's probably, have you ever tried out for American Idol? No, I haven't. Actually, I think I was really young when it first came out, but I haven't done it since. Are you pretty? I think so. Okay, you'd probably make it. You'd probably make it. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much, Casey. I'm on Mike from Rancho Santa Fe. You are going to sing The Guess Who and These Eyes. Yes, I am. These Eyes. Great song. Yeah, it's a good one. Off you go. These eyes cry every night for you. These arms long to hold you, hold you again. I can never be free. No, no, no.
You took a vow with me, yeah. You spoke it. You broke it. That's enough. Okay, that'll do. It sounded like you'd put your testicles in a vice and squeezed them. I did. I did. I did. Well, then, to your defense. You had your testicles in a vice. Well done. Well done. How'd that feel? Woods. It's a pit bull, but, you know, same thing. One more time, Woods. Get. Lauren. I think if you were my friend, I'd be like, wow, man, you can actually kind of sing. But I would not send you to Hollywood. Sienna. I would send you to Hollywood. You're lying. Paula. Paula. Paula. He's so sweet. Paula. He's so sweet. How drunk are you? He's so sweet. He's so nice. He admitted to putting his testicles in a vice. How drunk is you? Drunk. You're going. M1. M1. Shayna? Shayna. Shayna. From San Diego. Yes. Now, I'm going to tell you. You're going to be singing.
A classic. And that's already pretty tough. She's going to sing Etta James, At Last. Oh, yeah. Let's hear it. Okay. At last, my love has come along. My lonely days are over. And life is like a song. At last, above our blues. My heart was wrapped up in clover. Thank you. I said thank you. She probably put the phone down. Is that good? Yes, thank you. All right. Now, how old are you? Fifteen. Fifteen. Jason Creep. Jason Creep. Creepy Jay. Creepy Jay. Fifteen.
Wow. That changes things. Because this is what I'll tell you. You know what I was actually thinking of myself? I thought, she has a pretty nice voice, but she needs a voice coach to teach her how to use it. Because there was a couple of mistakes there, but you have a nice tone. I like that you... I like that you took it and kind of made it your own and you didn't do the bit of like and drawing out the syllable. The runs. The runs, yes. The runs. I tried to do that. I like that you don't do that because everybody these days does that. L.O.B.? 15 changes everything. I thought she was like a 27-year-old girl who's been like trying that out at parties forever. Like, guys, listen to me. But now that I know she's 15. Great, look who's singing again. She started out a little flat and then better, better, better, better as it went. Well, her boobs will grow the older she gets. No, that's not what she meant. She's going to mature, though. She's going to mature. You're kind of an expert in that area, Woods. Not necessarily. Young girls. Not necessarily, yes. Not necessarily. She's going to Hollywood. Where do you go to school? Sienna. If you were my friend, I would...
have you sing at my wedding. Not because... Why don't you just go on Quaaludes and start clapping above your head? Not because you have the best voice I've ever heard, but because your voice is good and it's like there's a kindness in your voice that will get others' attention. Yes, it's smoky. Well, thank you. Listen, I would tell your parents to get you a voice coach and teach you how to use that thing and you'll be good. Yeah, for sure. Thanks. Got some talent. Thank you. And if you want to sing, 570-194-9. I'm really probably enjoying this more than I should. I don't know why. I am too. I love it. I feel that I'm free to be honest. I mean, even though you guys look at me with your judging eyes as I'm honest. Well, you're harsh. Well, listen. Honest is honest. You know, listen. I'm trying to give the most honest information. M1 Redbeard from San Marcos. Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Good morning. You're going to be singing Stand By Me. Yes. All right, let's hear it. Thank you.
Woods. Why don't you start? Woods. I... L-O-B. Yep. That'll do. Sienna. I think that your voice has potential. Now, I think that you are trying to do things with your voice that it's just not capable of doing right now. And I think with some lessons, you could be good. You're not there yet. But with practice, you could get there. I agree with everything Sienna said except... It would take 157 years. Don't listen to him. With the best voice coach that money can buy. Shut up. You are a master. And a lot of time. Thank you, Simon. Unfortunately, you're not going to Hollywood. You haven't got the chops and you haven't got what it takes. But I admire your enthusiasm. I wouldn't send him to Hollywood. I don't know what enthusiasm is. This is a J word. Enthusiasm. But if we were at a karaoke bar, I'd be like, get up, Red Beard, go. Come on, you can sing. Have another beer. Get up there. Yeah. Red Beard, thank you. Appreciate it. Listen. Practice makes perfect. Yes. Well, it's not the easiest thing in the world to do. It is not the easiest thing in the world to do. No, it's not. And they're out there trying it today. Thousands of people out at Petco right now trying to get on to American Idol. Let's see. We got, is this, am I on the right thing? Yeah. Am I supposed to be doing this? No. No? That was a leftover one. You can do that. All right, let's do it.
Let's see where we are in this. 570-1949 is the number. Mikey, wanted to get your take on this situation. About a week ago, I ended things with my fiance. We were engaged for about a year. I ended because I was tired, man. I was tired of her nagging me about my job, my friends, my family. It was getting pretty ridiculous. I told her that I wanted the ring back, and she said that it was a gift and that she was keeping it. I told her that if she was keeping it, she needed to make the payments. Do I have a leg to stand on here? M1 Aaron. He broke up with her? Yeah. If he broke up with her, it is very poor form to ask for that ring back. You are out of your mind. No way. You're out of your mind. Listen, the idea is that you gave something to someone. Okay? You gave something to someone. If you take it back... You are, that's tacky. That's the tackiest thing you can do. First of all, you're dumping them. Well, right. Well, that gift, what does that gift symbolize? Your marriage. Right. Okay. Let me put it this way. It's in poor form for the girl to not give the ring back if she's dumped. Because you're right. It does symbolize marriage. However, comma, I also think that it's a little bit messed up.
to ask for it back because you dumped her. I mean, if you're dumping somebody, you're breaking their heart, right? Yes. Sienna? If you do the dumping and you're the guy and you're engaged, no way do you get that ring back. If that girl dumps you, calls off the wedding, she better give that ring back. Whoever's the hurt one gets the ring. Yeah. No, he's bought it. Who cares? Then why did he propose? Because he loved her. She hadn't started nagging him yet. She was nagging. You don't just change completely. You can break it off with somebody. If it's an engagement ring, no. Should he get back all the stuff he gave her over the relationship? Absolutely not. But an engagement ring? Hell yes. You would break up with a girl, break her heart, and say, hey, can I get that ring back? If it was an engagement ring, yes. If it was a ring I got her for Valentine's Day, no. Never. That's poor form, but it's an engagement ring. We are no longer engaged. She's going to pawn it. She should. Really? Yeah. She should. You're a creep. Her heart is broken. I'm not a creep just because I don't want to marry her. Listen, if you ask somebody to spend the rest of their life with you and you're not sure, you're a creep. No, he was sure at the time.
That girl has to go to everyone she knows and say now they thought they were going to her wedding. Now she has to say he called it off. Do you know how mortifying that would be? Absolutely, but not my problem. Let me put it this way. Let me put it this way. I'll put it this way. If you ask someone to marry you, at the moment that your mind has decided that you're going to ask, you might as well be married. If you've made the decision, I'm going to ask, you're committed. Why the engagement, then? Yeah, why engage? Because you have to plan away. Yeah, most people engage because they're planning it. Most people don't go, will you marry me today? Most people don't. You have to plan. But when they say, will you marry me, the thought is, listen, through consultation with my heart and my mind, I've come to the conclusion you're the one. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So something monetary then is what puts that in there. Because what could happen in your rules that you have, that you live your life by, I could have Sienna as my girlfriend. I could say, listen, babe, I want you to move in with me. And I'll tell you why. Because you are the one. You're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. It's totally different. So now we can have sex. And now we can live together. I told her, though, Mike. I told her we were going to spend eternity together. It's a commitment. You didn't give me a ring. Okay, so it is something monetary that matters. You're talking now.
About something that has to do with, well, I guess it's all morality, right? Right. It's all morality. It's all morality. The ring, there is no mention of a ring in my moral world. Okay. My moral compass has to do with my faith. Right. And there is nothing in my faith that has to do with a ring. But you just said. If there was. You said if you're a creep and ask a girl to marry her and you give her a ring. You said if you give her a ring. You are committed in your heart. That doesn't mean that you throw. all of your morality out the window but that's you said once you make that commitment to your morality kind of once you've made the conscious decision i'm gonna ask this person to marry me in your mind you should be married you're well what i mean by that is is that you're committed at least upstairs sure i get that i totally totally get that so you can't see a scenario playing its way out that a girl changes and turns into somebody that the guy looks at and he goes, I made a huge mistake. I better end it now before we get married. There is nothing wrong with doing that. And it's all subjective. I mean, there's no right or wrong answer. But in my mind, it seems so tacky. It's very tacky, dude. To say, give me the ring back. I agree with Sienna.
How did you not know what kind of clown you were marrying? But your logic makes it so that if she has that ring, it's all better? Like she gets to keep the ring that you spent your hard-earned money on? It's like just putting a knife in the wound even more, you know? I don't want to spend that. Why does she want it? I'd be like, ew, take that. So, yeah, like if you were still making payments on it, let's say. Let's say it's like 10 grand and you're still making payments on it. I'm just going to stop making the payments. Right. He's got to keep making those birthday. Well, here's the deal, though. How did you end up with such a goon? How did you end up with such a goon? People change all the time. He changed. He's just as likely of changing as her, and she's getting punished for him changing. Well, everybody gets punished. I mean, everyone's a victim, for sure. But why does the ring make it better for her? What do we mean? She changed. What does that mean? All of a sudden, she's bossing him around. Really? Wait, wait, wait. We don't know that all the... That's what he says. Don't we? But he says it. That's what I just asked. He says. Hang on. I said, how has she changed? And Jay says, well, she's bossy now. She's bossing him around, blah, blah, blah. And my deal with that goes back to what Sienna said. Really? First bossing around you've got from this girl, huh? Maybe now she knows she's got him. She's like a...
It's on. Here we go. It's all her fault. Well, I'm not saying, but I mean, she wants to keep the ring. It's like, if it's off, it's off. She's not a light switch. Go back to neutral. Isn't she? No. No. She's planning a wedding. Women never change their minds or change. They never do. They never do. If it's that drastic, shame on you. Fair enough. I'm going to take the heat. I guess it just cost me $10,000 to get rid of her. Get rid of her. That sucks. How would you go spend $10,000? Okay. And you don't know this broad? I'm paying it off. So now I got to make payments for some broad that's out in PB every weekend, hooking up with 18-year-olds. Wait, why are you marrying enough broads hook up with 18-year-olds? What are you doing? You know that. Have I ever done that before, by the way? It's the first time I've ever. That's the first time I've ever done it. Weird. Tim Piles will be in the studio with us when we come back from our very own local show. Let's make some live studio audience noise here this morning. We'll be right back. At Vons, we believe the standards you live by should be the ones you eat by. Honesty, integrity, and real. That's why we developed Open Nature, a new line of 100% natural foods you can only get at Vons. No artificial ingredients, no additives.
No preservatives. So they meet the highest standards of all. Yours. You'll find naturally delicious open nature meats, cereal, yogurt, ice cream, and pasta. And since they're from Vons, they'll be well within your budget. This week is a great time to add open nature products to the menu. Plus, while you're here, pick up these fantastic Vons Club specials. Sweet yellow peaches are just 77 cents a pound. and General Mills Honey Nut Cheerios or Lucky Charms are two for only $5 selected sizes. Get 100% natural open nature products and Vons Club specials that are 100% amazing. Only at Vons. Ingredients for life. Hi, gang. It's your old pal, Woodsy. Opie Duh! Opie Duh! Talking to you about my favorite place in the whole world, Denny's. Denny's has a new menu. It's called the Tour of America. And what it is, it's a limited time menu. It's offered until August 29th. So every day that goes by is another day you don't get to feast on Denny's Tour of America. Six new celebrated dishes from the Midwestern and Southern states as well as Philly, Cali, and Hawaii. Get some of it. You will not be disappointed. The Midwestern meat potato sandwich, Philly cheesesteak omelet.
Hawaiian tropical pancakes, Mikey, Georgia peach, French toast, southern shrimp and grits. Also, they have three new beverages for you to try as well. Listen, if it's good enough for your old pal, Woodsy, it's good enough for you. Get into Denny's Tour of America. It is available all day, every day for a limited time only with dishes starting at $4.99. Denny's Tour of America. Listen up, shoppers. Right now at Old Navy, it's the best summer sale ever. Up to 75% off your favorite summer styles. Sounds awesome, right? But just how does awesome sound? Like this? Or how about this? It's not just any midsummer sale with a bunch of leftovers. That sounds so... When you hear that you're getting tons of awesome deals on what you really want to wear for the rest of summer, what exactly do you hear? This? Love with shorts and polos and shirts and tanks and sandals and tees and hats for adults and kids and babies up to 75% off? It's like getting all that is awesome all at once. Kind of like... Um... Yeah. While we keep working on what awesome sounds like, you have to come into Old Navy and see what it looks like. The best summer sale ever with up to 75% off summer's awesomest items for men, women, and kids. Going on now only at Old Navy. Select styles only while supplies last. Sale on 713. Maybe you violate the laws of relish or have an unnatural love of nacho cheese or add marshmallows to your coffee. Yum. Hey, everyone has one. A seat.
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About Olligators. Original HP ink cartridges print up to two times the pages than refilled cartridges. Find them at a retailer near you. HP. Hit print. Based on a Buyers Laboratory, Inc. 2011 study commissioned by HP on the performance of cartridges refilled by refill service providers sold to North America. Today, we take the battle to them. The 3D event of the year is now the number one movie in the world. Transformers. Rated PG-13. Not playing. Thank you. You know what? There's probably... Perfectly good trails right by where I live. I'm not getting on any of them. Lauren. I'm always the tipsy bridesmaid. I'm never the type. Woods. I can eat a trough of cantaloupe. Sienna. Is there anything better than taking an Oreo and dunking it in ice? Cold milk. And Jay. I am not a fan of the handgun. On FM 94.9. Live in July means... A live studio audience in the 9 o'clock hour every broadcast day in the month of July. And you are welcome to it, man. You want to do it? Just go to MikeyShow.com and we can get you in here. Again, it's happening the entire month of July. Let's hear it for our friend Tim Piles who's hanging out with us in the studio. Timmy, how you doing, man? I'm good, sir. How about you, Mikey? Nice to see you. Good to see you, bro. You went to the show last night. We had Anya in here yesterday and you went last night.
Yeah, you got her up early yesterday. It's amazing. You stayed up late and rocked the Casbah last night. She was pretty good, man. She played in here, and she sounded so good. Was she good live last night? Amazing. We're just so proud of her, you know? I mean, she's part of our family. And the cool part is that she actually has this guy, Cody Votolato, playing with her. He's in telekinesis. He was shredding. He was on the station right now. He was great. They're going to be coming back. That band is. And we had The Makeup Sex actually play. I'm not sure if you're familiar with O. He's kind of a staple. I have their first record. but not anything beyond that. Oh, it was a San Diego legend. You have an EP. I have the EP. We'll make sure you get all of it. Yeah. Well, I have to have the whole library because I don't feel complete unless I have the entire library of anything. I have to have the whole thing. That's a true statement. So Tim does the local show and local acts. What do they do if they want to get heard? Do they just send you their stuff? Can they email you their stuff? What's the best way to get you stuff? Well, to be honest, I like the personal touch. You know, I'm at the Casbah every Monday. I'm actually there quite a bit. But Monday is kind of a night I host there. And any opportunity, somebody can come to me personally and hand me a CD. I really like just meeting the individual. Last night, I did that Battle of the Bands in Chula Vista. And several bands came. They weren't participating in the competition, but made sure they got me their CD. Band from TJ. But I really like that personal touch. I mean, I'll accept MP3s occasionally because it's kind of the way that a lot of bands are getting there.
music out there but uh for the best luck and best benefit of your band a cd is always the best a spine on that cd just a way to not lose it is there a thing where when you put in a cd you know within the first certain amount or do you make yourself listen to the whole thing i feel like i get a taste really quickly and i can kind of feel if i like something pretty within 30 seconds that was always my deal because you know Even when I didn't do anything on the scale of what you do, a local show where that's your thing. I did a show where all the music was programmed for me, and I just used to play it, but people would give me CDs all the time. Well, I'd throw them in, and sometimes it would play for five seconds, and I'd go, you know, five seconds. It's all I needed. And I remember when I lived in the Bay Area, this band Systematic, who I was friends with, this band Systematic, they gave me their demo. And I put it in and almost instantly went, oh, wow, there's something real different about this band. They were signed by Lars Ulrich a week later from his music company that he had. Really good band. And so sometimes I guess you could just tell right away how polished and how good a band is. But then I guess other times you're like, hey, they have potential, that kind of thing. Definitely. Do you have like a qualification of what's going to get guys on the radio?
It can be lo-fi. It can be garage rock. I mean, personally, that's a big thing that I'm a fan of. So it just has to be good and from the heart. I mean, it's one of those things, you know. I definitely have my musical taste that I like, and that's pretty wide-ranging. But it just has to be good, and it has to have a hook in it, and it has to catch your attention. It doesn't have to be recorded in a professional studio, because I think I can sometimes tell some natural talent, you know, even from a garage recording. And sometimes those are even better than anything a band can do. ever get in a studio because it's kind of where they're from and what they're doing and the sound they represent. This lo-fi thing is a real big phenomenon right now, which is just crazy. You have all this access to professional recording and they're trying to make it sound purposely lo-fi. Well, at least it costs less probably to record stuff like that. Well, they're tired of the overproduced records. Exactly. Foo Fighters did all analog or no digital on their last record. I wish more bands did that. Yeah, they just recorded live in a studio playing the songs. They didn't record. No Pro Tools, none of that mess.
That whole new album is all... And that's how bands used to do it. They would set up in a room and they would play. That's pretty cool. Yeah. So I like doing that. I do these sessions at various recording studios here in town. And I've been doing it also with bands for the new music show we have, FTP. Because I know Woods is commenting on the Urge Overkill session. I still owe him that we did. But it's a lot of fun to work with a band in a studio like that and get that live intensity. Yeah. Now, Woods and I have talked about this, and I want to get your take on it. To you, what's good songwriting? What does that mean, good songwriting? You know, I'm not, it's weird, you know, I'm not a fan of just like the coffeehouse world, which, you know, that's an element of songwriting, but I don't know, it just has to get me. I mean, I'm not a musician myself, I'm a drummer. Attempted singing, as you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're much better. I must say, you didn't have your lyrics pasted on the monitor board or the monitors there. I don't know if you noticed that. I couldn't remember all my lyrics. I couldn't either. I made them up. Oh, was that it? Yeah, I made them up. Guy thinks it's quick on his feet. Yeah, and it was Surrender, a song I should have known because I only listened to it 50 billion times before I screwed it up live on stage. I was still too nervous. I knew I was going to forget. It was terrible. No, you were fine. Oh, it was awful. But yeah, I think...
It's just one of those things. It's a personal taste. I like to think that my taste is pretty varied, and I like to be open-minded to all kinds of musical styles that we have here to offer in San Diego. There's some things I'm not a fan of. I'll still probably express some interest and help these bands out. I just want to be all welcoming. But I have my own personal tastes, and sure, that stuff maybe makes it on the show a little bit more frequently than other things. If I could just tell any band anything, I don't care what kind of musical style you do, make the effort to come up and say hi. Come to the Battle of the Bands, any of these Thursdays, Chula Vista this month. Come to the Casbah. Don't be afraid of me. Please come up and say hi, because I'm a friendly guy. I love meeting bands, new bands, new young talent, because there's so many cool kids doing music in this town. It's not like when I was a kid, you struggled to find cool bands and things going on, and it's phenomenal. It's this next big thing, and there's a lot of cool bands in this town. I thought it was so cool yesterday when Anya played, and after she played...
I can't remember if it was the first. She played two songs. I think it was the first song. She played it one time, and the rest of the day I was going, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. If you can find a great melody that just gets stuck in your head. It's great. Or paint a really cool picture. Her second song for me was the one when she was talking about going home after school and listening to records. Getting high. Back in high school. Thank you, Jay. Yes. Getting high on marijuana. Getting high on marijuana. Toking the reefer. And listening to records. And she started naming the bands. You know, Velvet Underground. All these records of, you know, she was painting that picture of, and I could see them in my mind. Like, putting it on the turntable. It was rad. That's the deal. Like, I... As I listened to her singing yesterday, I thought, to me, that's songwriting. Right. When you create something vivid, when you're splashing colors in people's brains by the things that you're saying in lyrics, that's rad. That's why it's so hard to write a song. I've tried to write a couple in my day because I play guitar, but I can't write lyrics. And I write cool stuff, but I can't write lyrics. My lyrics sound like something that Nick Carter would do. You know what I mean? Maybe we do the music. Maybe we get together. We do that.
done. I want some cool lyrics. There you go. Just write about Wendy's and McDonald's. McDonald's, Wendy's, Tommy Bahama. Tommy Bahama. There's only so many things you can write about a burrito. Are you going to appeal to the Spanish audience? The Latinos, Mike? Is that what you're going for? You're going to be like that Pinole or whatever his name is on that other 106th whatever. You're going to turn Mexican, Mike. Too late. Be featured at the next Weight Watchers meeting. Hi, we're your guests. Musicians. Mike and Woods. We're here at the annual Weight Watchers convention to play for your enjoyment. So, we hope you enjoy us. Not only are we the entertainment, we are also members. Avid members. Avid members. Hey, guys. I don't know about you, but I'm up to 350 points today. Let's get this thing rocking and rolling. What do you say? This is a song that we wrote together in the McDonald's parking lot. It's called Chubbs. Ready? Yeah. One, two, three, four. Timmy, thank you, man. Yeah, man. Good to see you guys. I love the show. Hey, man. You can catch Timmy on Sunday nights. The Local. Let's hear it for him. Thank you, my live studio audience. We'll be back. Love it.
Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More coming up on FM 94.9. Hey, want to let you know about AT&T? AT&T will get you all the speed you need at a great price. Only $14.95 a month, 12 months with a one-year term. That is a one-year price guarantee for you. You can't do any better than that. Now, that includes the on-the-go access. It's the entire AT&T. National Wi-Fi network. Now they throw that in. No extra charge for that. That's what's cool about it. Now you got kids, you know, they love to play games. They love to chat with their friends. They love to do all that stuff. Even their homework, their research, all that stuff. You need the fast internet to do it. And this is a great price. So give them a call today. 877-ONLY-ATT or go online, att.com slash possible. Or you can go into one of their stores or... Here's a variety of ways you can get in touch. $14.95 a month. Guaranteed. 877-ONLY-ATT. Geographic and service restrictions apply. Price for you family TV. New customers only. After promotional period, standard rates apply. Taxes and other charges apply. Total home DVR requires extra receivers at additional charge. Offer ends 7-16-11. Access to HD at additional cost.
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When half off meets happy hour. Happy hour is born. It's Dave and Buster's happy hour. Half off cocktails and beer specials 4.30 to 7 p.m. every Monday through Friday. That's half off martinis, half off Long Island iced teas, half off our million dollar margarita. Which, by the way, doesn't make it a half-million-dollar margarita. It makes it full-on amazing. Happy Hour at Dave & Buster's. The only place to eat, drink, and play. Go to DaveAndBuster's.com for details, hours, and locations. Critics and audiences everywhere are blown away by the number one movie in the world. Today, we take the battle to them. Transformers is the best summer movie in years. It's a game-changer. We only got one shot. One shot's all we need. And the biggest action. movie ever. Optimus! Transformers. Dark of the Moon. A Michael Bay film. Rated PG-13. Maybe inappropriate for children under 13. Now playing in Real-D, 3D, and IMAX 3D. The Summer Home Organization event is going on now at the Home Depot with low prices on the things you need to contain the clutter. Like clear 56-quart totes at a new lower price of just $5.97 each. They're big enough to stow just about anything and they're clear so you can see what you stowed when it's time to find it again.
An organized home begins with a trip to the Home Depot and 56-quart coats for just $5.97 each. More saving. More doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. U.S. only. See store for details. Don't miss the best summer sale ever. This ain't a bunch of leftovers. Surprise your family with up to 75% off your favorite summer styles like shorts, polos, tanks, and tees. Going on now at Old Navy. And now back to The Mikey Show with Mikey. I love guacamole. Lauren. And I'm a klutz and an idiot. Woods. I cry more than my wife. Sienna. I would just scream, not because I was sad, just to hear myself scream. And Jay. I light my coffee black. On FM 94.9. I'm not loving you the way I wanted to. What I had to do, had to run from you. I'm in love with you, but the vibe is wrong and it haunted me. All the way home. So you'll never know. Never, never know. Let's make some noise in our live studio audience here. Doing live in July. It means that every day that we broadcast in the month of July, during the 9 o'clock hour, we will have a live studio audience here in the studio with us. And it can be you. Just go to MikeyShow.com, sign up for it, and it's very easy. Tonight's 8 o'clock album, Social Distortion. Mommy's Little Monster.
is the name of it. What? New movies that are coming out this weekend. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're thinking about going to the movie, what do we have, Sienna? Zookeeper. That's Kevin James Woods. Oh, boy. Let's hear it. Hey, what's that? It says, will you marry... Will you marry me? No. No, it shouldn't bother me that you're a zookeeper, but it kind of does. Is it a kid movie? It looks like a kid. It's rated PG. It's about... Griffin, who's Kevin James. He's a zookeeper who's convinced that the only way to get a girl is to quit his job. Okay. What else? Horrible bosses. Yes. Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Colin Farrell, Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey, Jamie Foxx. Good cast. I love Jason Bateman. Me too. Here's some Jason Bateman, Kevin Spacey. Mr. Harkin, can I speak to you? Yeah, sure. What is it? You know, for months you've been hinting that I was in line for that promotion. And look how hard you've been working. What? You're just lying to me?
Lying? No, Nick. Motivating. I mean, look, we're all part of the same team here. Plus, you know, I'm the one who's going to be doing all the extra work. You know that last month you made me work so late, I miss saying goodbye to my gam-gam? I'm sorry, what? My grandmother. I told you that I needed to see her because she was very, very sick. You said if I left her... My gam-gam. And she died before I made it to the hospital. I'm sorry. Thank you. I had no idea that you called your grandmother. Wow. That got me. Spacey's genius. Maybe I go see it. That one's horrible bosses. It's rated R. Let's see. What am I missing? Not much. We covered it all. We got everything in today. All right. End of the show. On Friday, I give you my story. And I call this, I call it my testimony. And the reason I call it that is because it's my personal story. It doesn't make you angry.
But if it does, I always say that anger is hurt, sadness, and fear. I grew up so hurt, sad, and fearful. I guess I'm a really overly sensitive person. Nobody that's overly sensitive, by the way, likes to mention or admit that they're overly sensitive. In fact, I think most people want to be known as the opposite. I can take anything, whatever you say, doesn't matter. The whole time I grew up, it didn't take much to just absolutely shatter me. From the time I was a real little kid, my feelings could get hurt really, really easy. Can you relate to that? By the time I was in my 20s, I was drinking a lot so that people wouldn't know. That they wouldn't know that that's how I felt. And so I could cover those feelings so that nobody would have to see it. And I never, ever covered them. I was always searching for what was going to make me happy.
Nothing made me happy. No relationship, no drug, no alcohol. Nothing made me happy. Everything was fleeting. There's a difference between pleasure and happiness. And I could not find happiness. I've never experienced true depression or anxiety except for a year and a half ago. And then I did. And you have to ask yourself, if you go through any kind of depression or anxiety, you have to ask yourself, If I took something away from you, what would it be that I would take away from you and you would be absolutely crushed? You just wouldn't want to live anymore. I had a lot of those things in my life. If you've ever heard the phrase that religion is a crutch, that's true. But you have to think about what a crutch does. A crutch is what you use when you're broken. To use meth, if you have an issue with any of those things.
Then go to MikeyShow.com at the top of the page that says help. And find help with all of those different things. The thing that saved my life was Jesus Christ. Jesus saved my life. He saved my life. Changed my life. Changed the course of my life. Changed me as a person. I'm kind of a dick now. But I'll tell you what. I used to be a way bigger dick. Why do I say it like that? Because I know my culture and I know where I am. We don't live in a world. Puppy dogs and rainbows. We live in a whole different type of world. And I'm talking to a whole different audience. Any of what I said strikes a chord with you. Go to MikeyShow.com and understand that things can be different for you. They don't have to be the way that they are. Especially if you're desperate and you feel completely lonely. MikeyShow.com I play a song at the end of the show on Friday. And hopefully the words to the song will hit you in a way.
That can get you started. This is Red. It's called Not Alone.