The Mikey Show - FM 94.9 - 07/12/10

0:00KBZT San Diego. The Lincoln Financial Media Station. The new home of The Mikey Show. FM 94.9. Look at this. Monday in America's finest city. Love it. Love it. And in case you didn't know, today is July the 12th. Halfway through July already. Amazing. It's the weirdest thing, because it seems like 4th of July was just last weekend, it seems like. Yep. Welcome to the program. It's The Mikey Show on a Monday, and we are ready to rock and roll. And give you all we got. We got a humongoid show. Jay's back with us. That's right. There's five people on the Mikey Show. I'm the host of the program. My name's Mikey. And I'm 40. Woodsy is 34. Really not. I'm going to be saying 35 real quick. Next week. That's right. Week from today. Week from today. Woods will turn 35. His birthday is on the 19th.

3:12Lauren O'Brien is our assistant producer. She's very funny, very talented. She does a lot of voices. She is a YouTube sensation. I don't know if I would go that far. That's where I found her. And Sienna's 25. She's our news girl. She's absolutely my brother. Couldn't stop gushing about how beautiful Santa is. Are you serious? Yeah. Oh, wow. I love you too, Steve. Yeah. And Jay is back with us. He is our producer and he is 47. Where is, do we have a phone screener today? Austin. Austin, there he is. Didn't see him. There's Austin. Austin's our phone screener, so get past that guy if you could do it. 570-1949. is the number. And you can call about anything right now. Open forum. Usually nobody calls because they're scared. Don't be scared. Don't be so scared. You can call us. You can talk to us and we'll be nice. And yeah, so do that right now. Let's see. By the way, want to let everyone know today is Woodsy's first day on P90X. Get it. Get it.

4:37This means that for the next 90 days, this guy is going to work out one hour a day with the P90X program, which if you've never seen it, turns men and women into chiseled warriors. It's the truth. By the time you're done, you look like Leonidas. We did the whole thing yesterday. Went to the store and bought all the new food and threw away all the garbage. Good. Yeah. This is very interesting. Are you going to let your wife do it with you? She can do it, but not with me. Lay down your weapons! Persons! Come and get them! Go, Woods. That'll be you. Yeah. 90 days. You know what I had for breakfast this morning? What? A protein shake. You did? Yes. Good for you. Jamie woke up, made it for me. Weird. 3.30 in the morning. Tastes real good. Yeah, it was pretty good. Bananas and strawberries with protein. That's good. It wasn't bad. Frothy. That is a nice wife. She's great. Oh, my God. She's great. Can we discuss that for a moment? Yeah. Jeez. She's great, man. Well, this is what worries me about that. I've always believed that when you do something to lose the weight, it always has to be something that you can maintain the rest of your life. That's why I don't like the idea of diets when you're doing some specific thing. Like, I'm going to eat this very specific food, but I'm only going to eat it.

6:07till I lose this weight. Well, then what? You go back to normal and then what? Like no carb diets? Like really, you're never going to have a piece of bread again? No, but starting the day with protein is so much better for you in so many ways. And you could do that, right? Can you foresee doing that the rest of your life? Because I can do this egg thing. I guess I have to in one form or another. I got to do that. Well, I tell you, I mean, I had it for, usually I have a Pop-Tart. That's horrible. In the morning, just terrible for you. Carbs and sugars. Delicious. But this morning with the protein shake, dude, I'm full. It's good brain food. Yeah. I'm full. I feel smart. I'm alert. You are. You are. I mean, and you could potentially do that. Yeah. You know what I mean? I could. And it's not bad. It's banana and strawberry and protein. And it's an easy thing, too, for Jamie to have ready and just put in the blender, like the banana and everything with the powder. For Jamie to have ready. Well, yeah, but she can do it the night before. That way she doesn't have to get up and Woods just pushes start. Absolutely. Lauren, you would not be that wife, right? No. I would take his little hand and I'd show him where everything was in the cabinet. And then I would say, then you put it in and you push start. I know how to do it. Yeah. She just doesn't want to. She tees me up. That's nice. She knows I have to go be dynamic and she makes it right. Makes you feel loved. Yeah. You know what I mean? Absolutely. What time are you going to do your hour long workout? As soon as I get home. Oh, wow. Yeah.

7:29As soon as we get done with lunch, I'm going home. I'm going to hit it. I'm hitting the beach after that. Oh, wow. Real sweetly. Look at you. Barefoot bandit got arrested. Mm-hmm. Remind me who that guy is. Okay, this is like a teenager. He's 19 years old now. He has been on the run since 2008. His name is Colton Harris Moore, and they just arrested him in the Bahamas. It was like a high-speed boat chase, and people were saying it looked like a James Bond film. Really? They were just getting crazy on these boats, and he's going off, and it happened he was sighted at 2 a.m. by someone who worked at the dock, the security director, and saw him barefoot. That's them walking out on the water. Saw Colton barefoot at 2 a.m. carrying a gun with a knapsack over his shoulder running up the dock. And so he called the cops and said, look, this guy is over here. He's suspicious. And the cops showed up. Got him. Since 2008. Nabbed him. Teenager. What did he do again? A lot of stuff. A lot of stuff. Yeah. He's a thief.

8:32But wasn't he also sort of like catch me if you can guy? It's exactly Leonardo DiCaprio. Leonardo DiCaprio. He was like that. One of the things he did was he stole a single engine plane last week. And he does it because he pretends like, hey, I'm somebody that belongs here. Yes. Just like in the movie Catch Me If You Can where he pretended to be a pilot. He pretended to be all this stuff. He's a smart kid. He's a smart kid. Yeah. Now he's probably going to go away for a while. Mm-hmm. Hey. He took his pinch like a man. Hey, you take your pinch like a man. You didn't ride on your friends? Yeah. Yeah, proud of you. Proud of you. Why is he barefoot? I'm proud of you. That's right. I don't understand why he's always barefoot. That's his bit. I need to put some shoes on, dude. I know. They're going to notice you. Cruising around at 2 a.m. barefoot? Like, what? That's his bit. No shirt, no shoes, no shirt. No dice. No dice. They wrote an article about him in Rolling Stone I read a few months back and was just fascinating. When I read it, it was just like, holy cow. Kid. Kid's 17, you know, at the time, 18 years old. Yeah. Outsmarting everybody. It is just like Catch Me If You Can. Well, that was based on a real guy, too. Yeah. Yeah. I've always thought, you know, criminal minds that are real good like that, that can figure stuff out. I always thought, you know, if you just put that to something else, you'd be, you know. Well, you know the cool thing about the guy in Catch Me If You Can, Frank Abagnale? They did. Yeah. He used to speak for Jamie's company. Yeah. And help them invent.

9:54You know, ways that you couldn't defraud companies. And they invented this pen, actually, right here, the one that I'm holding. He helped them invent that because you can't wash this pen off of checks. Amazing. So this is the only pen I use to write checks. And he helped develop it. And he helped them, yeah. He helped the FBI. He helped all kinds of people. So if you're signing a check and you don't have that pen, you're like, nope, nope, I'm not going to sign it. Yeah, this is the only one I do bills with. This is the only one, the 207. That's amazing. What's up? Love the 207. What's up? Wow. It's the one I like. It's a good one. M1 Denise from Oceanside. Hi. Hi. How are you doing? I'm doing great. What's going on? I heard you guys talk that no one ever calls in your open forum in the morning. That's nice of you. I love that. What a time to call. I'm a member of New Song Community Church up in Oceanside and our kids camp slash VBS kicks off in about two hours. Sweet. I'm super excited. We have over 300 kids ages 3 through 5th grade coming this week. That's great. You better bring some Advil. Real good. Yeah. Yeah, one of them on the floor, two of those being twins. You'll be fine then. I just think it's amazing that God opened the opportunity for 300 kids in our community to be able to come and participate this week. That is awesome.

11:05Well, congrats. Sounds like fun. I loved church camp when I was a little kid. It's so much fun. Thanks, Denise. You guys keep rocking. Thanks. Thank you. 570-1949 if you want to call us. I never went to a camp. You never went to camp? Never. It was so fun. It was fun. It's the best. You went to LOB? Not a church camp, but I've been to camp. You went to a camp? Mm-hmm. How about you? Oh, yeah. You went to Siena? Mm-hmm. Jaybird? Of course. You built it. Sailing camp. You probably built them. Sailing camp. Polo camp. Yawning polo. I went to the country club camp, you guys. You didn't go to that? I can't believe I didn't go to fat camp. Why didn't you go to camp? I don't know. What did you do all summer? Stay home and play video games? Yeah. Listen, let me tell you. My wife on Friday, I walked into the room and she had something on TV. She was doing bills on her computer. And I look at the TV and I go, what are you, just sitting around watching some 70s porn real good? What are you doing? What was it? It was this show from the 70s. It was this movie from the 70s. All the dudes had the big porn star mustaches, you know? Wasn't my Wet Hat American Summer? No, it wasn't. What movie was it? It was called Lifeguard. And I, you know, as I looked at it, I go, oh my gosh, I know this movie. And she goes, how do you know this movie? Because the subject matter is Sam Elliott is a...

12:27mid to late 30s lifeguard who starts having sex with like this teenage girl and and and he's but in the movie it's not like that's a bad thing right it's like he the the story is he's going through a midlife crisis not that he's having sex with a teenage girl it's he's going through a midlife crisis and then He's he's like trying to figure out if he's a grown up because he's still a lifeguard at 30 something years old. And he's like trying to get back together with his ex and Archer. And he's going through this whole process. So we're looking at it and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I've seen that movie multiple times. And my wife goes, how old were you? I go seven, seven through twelve, seven. So that's instead of going to camp, I was watching a lifeguard. How fun. And she goes, I mean, where would you even find that at the video store? I go, you'd walk in, you'd go, let's see, drama, horror, statutory rape. There's your statutory section. Yeah. Because that's the plot line of the movie. Wasn't that the whole section in the 70s? The whole story. Everything was in the 70s. That's what it was. But anyway, so the World Cup is over, you know, and apparently. España.

13:44Yeah, it was España, right, was in the finals with the Netherlands? Sure. Spain and the Neverlands? The Neverlands. The Netherlands. The Netherlands. Okay. The Dutch. Right. And Spain won a little bit later on. We're going to be playing you some audio from that that's really funny. Why is it funny? It just is. Just wait and listen. It's funny. Hysterical. Well, put it this way. When I was loading it this morning, I was laughing out loud. Yeah, of course. It's hysterical. I love hearing it. Love hearing foreigners getting all excited. They love their football. Yeah, they do. Their football. Football. Well, anyway, people that were watching it in Uganda. Flipped out. Yeah, this is pretty sad. At least 64 people died, including one American in Uganda yesterday, by simultaneous bomb attacks. Yeah, there were people watching the World Cup final. One was at a rugby club, and then the other was at an Ethiopian restaurant nearby. Terrorism. Yeah, well, police think that it was a Somali militant group that's linked to the al-Qaeda, and they think they were behind it. Amazing.

14:54That's not good. Yeah, simultaneous bombing. I mean, oh, that's rough. When you're watching the World Cup. Yeah. Well, they knew they'd have a bunch of people in one place. Yeah. Over the line tournament has come to a close. OTL. No, it's still going on next weekend, too. It is? Yeah, it's two weekends long. I thought they did it for a weekend. Uh-uh, two weekends. I thought that, too, but no. Holy cow. Two weekends long. And people were worried, you know, is everyone going to show up? Is it going to be, like, as big as it was? Because the weather's been so... And yeah, thousands of people, I mean, didn't stop anyone from going and boozing it up and having a great time. That looked junky out there. Soupy and cloudy. But honestly, like the people that play it every year were probably stoked because it gets so hot there that the players have to wear socks in the sand. So they were actually able to be barefoot and not sweating profusely. They have to wear socks because the sand gets so hot. Yeah, I played ball yesterday. And the funny thing is, is I was at... I went to stop by a 7-Eleven before my game. Uh-huh. Because I always get, like, drinks and stuff before my game. And I saw these dudes walking in. And you could tell they had played in OTL the night before. They were all in their uniforms. Drunk. Oh, dude. These guys look like they got hit by a truck. Oh, my gosh. And they were on their way back. It gets so rowdy. They were walking in. And I just looked. I was like. They looked like they were hammered. And the uniforms. Looked like they just got pulled out of a donkey's mouth. Seriously. It was awful.

16:19It was the 57th annual over-the-line tournament. 57 years. That's insane. And people that play in it are... you know, older guys too that love it. Do you think that it was all dirty 57 years ago or did they evolve into that? Oh, it always evolves. Always evolves, right? It started out as like clean cut. It was like, yeah, wipe out. Especially now. Since you can't drink on the beach, you know, and this is an excuse for people to get out there and drink, like people are like all about it. Yeah. Myrtle, bring me another drink. Myrtle. Bring me another Tom Collins. Yes, make a Tom Collins nice and tall this time, dear. And if you can, please put some mint julep in it. Grab my bat.

17:04Grab my bat. I actually played last year. You did? I played last year. All those guys are amazing. All the on-bat guys. They're lawyers. They're doctors. They're a man for the weekend. They bust it out. They do. I've hung with them at Miss Mission Beach. Those guys are nuts. I've gone and watched, and it's a sight to see. I want to play. It's like baseball. We could have put a team together, a media team, and gone out there. Next year. Next year. I'm in. Or not. Or we could just talk about how fun it would have been. For sure. Mikey with pom-poms. Yeah, you can cheerlead, Mikey. You know how you can get past the sand burning your feet next year at Ombach? Stay at home? No, they, I don't know if you guys have seen them, but they now make running shoes that fit on your feet like a glove and each of your toes goes into a little thing. Yeah. Like a glove. You seen them, LLV? I've seen them. Yeah. I've seen the running shoes that are. That are like sandals. They're open, and you don't wear socks. These are like aqua socks, but fitted to your toes. Your toes go in them like a glove. They're hysterical. That would creep me out. It wouldn't really keep you that warm, but it might protect your feet. Feet from the bottom? I can't imagine something between all my toes. I know. They make booties like that, surfing booties. I don't know how people do it. My booty has a split toe, which is better for, you know. Everybody's booty has a split. That's right. It's not just you, Jay. It's not true.

18:29Everybody's booty has a split toe. You look so confused. I was like, what are you talking about? They're the most hysterical shoe I've ever seen in my life. I want them. I do want to try them. They're hysterical. Please get a pair. Well, there's a whole subculture of people that run barefoot, even if they're running throughout the city. They believe that you're supposed to be. We're not supposed to have shoes. Shoes that hinder everything. So that's the closest thing that you can get without, you know. Actually being barefoot. That's the idea. Although I just don't, I'm not brave enough to put those things on. If I get it, can I expense it back to the station and say like it's a bit? Of course. Of course. Of course. Why not? You guys hear about the weirdness? Oh, wait a minute. M1 Joseph's on the line. He's got these shoes. Yes. No. M1 Joseph from Chula Vista. Are you there, bro? Oops. Sorry. Didn't hit the line. Oh, it's, wait. I'm waiting for it to go on hold. Go ahead and put it on hold, Austin. Hi. Hi, Joseph. Yes. How are you? Hey, doing all right. I'm a UPS worker over here. And are you wearing them now? Actually, no. I'm not allowed to wear them. I have to wear boots at work. That's probably smart. You run with them? Yeah, I run with them. I actually bike with them, too, and I hike with them. And the coolest thing is that when you're hiking...

20:00You feel all the little rocks and pebbles, so, like, you can, like, really hike real nice. Are you... I love them. Wait. But it doesn't... That sounds like a deterrent for hiking. Yes, absolutely. Or for biking? No, for hiking. For hiking? You wouldn't... Would you really want to feel all those rocks? No, no, no. No, it's enough cushion to where it, like, it doesn't hurt when you're hiking. But, like, I don't know if you guys ever hike and you guys slip and, like, you know why you're going up a little in class. Maybe talk to Lauren and Jay about that. Yeah. Yeah. Hiking talk, I'm out. I see what he's saying, though. I don't think you're supposed to wear them for hiking, though. Yeah, you can. No, they're designed for hiking. Oh, they are. But you can, like, grip on things and your feet can fit into the contours of the rocks and stuff like that instead of just, like, tread. Got it. Yeah, tread just falling off. How much are those shoes, Joseph? The ones I bought, I just bought the brand new ones and they run about 125. Oh my gosh. That's how much most running shoes are nowadays. Yeah, the basic ones are about like 70 bucks. The basic ones. He stepped it up a notch. They fit you like a glove. The funny thing is when you put them on, you can't put them on like a shoe. You got to like roll your toes to put them on. The funny thing, everything about them is funny. It's like wearing somebody's skin.

21:19It is, dude. It does. It's what it looks like. It is. It's funny because you can also swim with them, too. I go to Cedar Creek Falls. Yeah. And I hike down it, and then you jump in the waterfall. And, dude, it's the best. Thanks, dude. I might have to get some. I love running on the beach. It sounds like the perfect thing to run on the beach. You would love it, L-O-B. You got to get it. I think you would. I think I would. Plus, I want to see them. I don't know if I like things in between my toes, though. They're great because they're great. Hey, this is James Gumm for the new James Gumm footwear. You may remember me from Silence of the Lambs. Well, the reason I like them is because they fit like a glove. And when I say glove, I mean a human foot. They're so weird. It's a creepy laugh. They... Oh, gross. I love it when I crack my... Crack myself off. Oh, wait. Did you guys hear about the weirdness over at Bloomingdale's this weekend? I know that Bloomingdale's in Fashion Valley on Friday had a little situation on their hands. They had to close early because...

22:42Dozens and dozens of customers were complaining about burning eyes and irritated throats when they were walking around the store. Yeah, crazy stuff. Around 4 p.m. they closed. And the fire rescue department came in and checked everyone out. There were people that needed to be checked out because they were in a lot of pain. Wow. And couldn't find anything wrong with it. After tests, they had no idea what was going on, but they had symptoms as if they had been sprayed with pepper spray. It was just in Bloomingdale. Yeah. Weird. I know. I bet you somebody might have let some loose. Really? Yeah. Oh, just clowning around. You ever done that? No. I did it. I did that one? Yes. Like an idiot. I've never seen it inside, only outside. I did it at my aunt's house on summer vacation. I found some. I go, oh. I did the same deal. I go, oh, cool. And I sprayed it away from me and was like, ah. In the house? Yes. It was like the day I got boobs. My mom gave me pepper spray, and I was like, how does this work exactly? And it sprays right back at you. Oh, my gosh. You sprayed yourself in the face? No, I sprayed it away. I was at least smart enough to do that. But the wind comes at you, and it lingers. Oh, my God. And you're a... Wow. Explain some things. Yeah. So you know that Spain won the World Cup. We talked about that, but...

23:58You got to hear this audio. This audio that Woodsy has for Woods on Sports is... Maybe I'll translate. All right? Yes. The guy that's in charge of the cap and the oil well, the oil well, oil whatever. Yeah, the oil leak. The oil leak. He kind of gives a timeline of when he thinks that it'll be capped. I'll tell you that, too. About time. Yeah. But he's quick to say, you know. I want to promise. So we'll play you that coming up.

24:39Let your voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. The countdown is on. I already got my ticket. For the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite and Scion. August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Empathy. On the main stage, Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. Delta Spirit. And a buck of the 30 goes to the About the Music Fund, which helps support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. August 29th, the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, supported by Wahoo's Fish Tacos.

25:49Hi, we're here today with Meredith Hanrahan. She's the chief travel officer from CheapFlights.com. Hi, Meredith. How are you doing today? I'm great, thanks. So what are some ways to get a really good travel deal this summer? You know what I always tell people is, first of all, kind of be open-minded. You know, think about, can you travel midweek? And if you're willing to travel on a Tuesday or Wednesday, you're going to save a lot more money, almost 30% than, say, a Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Right, right, yeah. And then I also suggest that people look at booking flights and hotels together. That's a great way to save money, particularly over the summer. Also look at different airports. Because you might see different pricing that way as well. And then finally, I suggest people be open-minded about where they go. A lot of people say, oh, I want to go to the beach. I'm going to go to Orlando. And I say, well, you know, during the summer, great opportunities like cities like Boston, Chicago, San Francisco, they have great airfares. And they also have the best of both worlds. They have the city life and the beach life. And it's a great way to save overall, have a great trip and save at the same time. Good stuff. Meredith Hanrahan from CheapFlights.com. Thanks for being here today. Well, thanks for having me today.

26:46Don't forget to check out CheapFlights.com to get a great deal. This is a special alert to all Americans who are behind on their taxes or haven't sent out prior year tax returns. If you owe back taxes, you're now eligible to settle that debt with the IRS for much less than what you owe. For free information, call National Tax Relief today. 1-800-652-4135. Millions of taxpayers are now legally eligible to settle their tax liability for a fraction of what they owe. Act now on this limited time opportunity or risk wage. bank levies, outrageous penalties and fees, and property seizure. National Tax Relief partner firms specialize in tax settlements. When you call, you'll be matched with experts who are former IRS agents with insider knowledge of the system, which makes a substantial difference as they resolve your tax debt directly with the IRS. Call 1-800-652-4135. There's a limited amount of time that could be available to where the government will accept tax settlements, so you must act now. Call National Tax Relief today, 1-800-652-4135. AIS is the bomb. If you have not called AIS yet, you should. AIS is the auto insurance specialist. And when I made the switch to AIS, I saved $1,600 a year. Now, all you have to do is ask yourself if that sounds good to you, because what you're paying right now for auto insurance most likely is too much money.

28:14I'm telling you, do yourself a favor. And you know what? You can actually do it yourself. AISinsurance.com. If you haven't gone to the website, you've heard me talk about it all these years. So often, I forget to mention the website. Go check it out. AISinsurance.com. And you can do a quote there for yourself. You can do it in minutes. It's real easy. And I'm telling you, when you save all that dough, you're going to be calling and thanking me. And by the way, if you have called AIS, you have saved money, please do. Please call us here. Tell us about it. Helps us. Helps you. Helps everybody. 25% of people driving around here in California are not insured. So get on it. Get on it right away. It's AISinsurance.com. You are so hard to read. I am. I just wish you were more like this new Coors Light cold activation window. It's a hole in the box, Rob. It's a window to refreshment. I know the beer is cold before I buy it because I can see the mountains are blue on the labels. No guessing. What? Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. The following is a test of the emergency alert system. This is only a test.

29:40This report brought to you by Allstate. Are you a safe driver? Only Allstate will send you a check twice a year for staying accident-free. Get Allstate today, dollar for dollar. Nobody protects you like Allstate. Looks like the 80s bound between the 125 and the 5, just a little slow, not a whole lot of congestion yet. The 805 northbound between the 54 and the 52, traffic is moving nicely. And that 56 westbound between the 15 and the 5, we've got a small delay. This report is brought to you by Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino, Las Vegas. Start the summer ride at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. Book your summer fling package today with rooms from $90 at MandalayBay.com. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Uh, I can't do anything. I can't do anything handy at all. Lauren. I like looking at boobs. Woods. Don't go to the doctor. It's in my family. We don't go to the doctor. Sienna. I like a beer belly. I'm going to tell you that right now. And Jay. I was the guy most voted most likely to snap on FM 94.9. Welcome back. It's a Mikey show. You can call us if you'd like. Our phone over here is 570-1949. We'd love to hear from you. Let's see. I got for you. Got that. We got our text. Did I give you our text? Text is 949mikey at gmail.com if you want to text us. The oil well. The oil well. The oil that's leaking into the ocean and has been leaking into the ocean since April.

31:56The guy that's in charge is Admiral Fat Allen. Everyone thinks Fat Albert when I say it. Every time. Every time. Sounds just like that. Here's what he said. It will be the middle of August until we have actually capped the well. Could be sooner than that. We would be delighted if it would be. Could be the middle of August. That will be. Four months? Yeah. April, May, June. And then, I mean, on Friday, there was a report coming out that they were saying they are ahead of schedule, which they are because they were always saying it would be ready in August. But then on Friday, there were reports saying that it would be ready at the end of July. Yeah. So, I mean, based upon hurricane season. Yeah. Well, it's a freaking mess. It's a mess. And I'm sure you guys maybe, I don't know if you've heard, but on Saturday, they removed the cap. That was on there right now to put a better cap on, which is going to have a tighter seal. But it's going to take days. So right now, oil and gushing, no cap on there. They're trying to replace it. And this new cap's not the ultimate fixture either. It's going to be the relief well, which they're working on. The two relief wells are working on. Everyone knows what happened with LeBron James. He left Cleveland. He went to Miami. And if you didn't know.

33:14The owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers, Dan Gilbert, wrote a scathing open letter to Cavs fans just sort of lambasting LeBron. Yep. Saying what a jerk LeBron is and all this stuff. Wait until we tell you what Jesse Jackson just said about him. Oh, boy. It's crazy. And we'll tell you right after Woods on Sports. Woodsy's going to tell us what's up. Lots of sports stuff out there right now. We are halfway home, brother. We are halfway through the baseball season. There it is. Just like that. Yep. Padres, 51-37. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. 14 games above .500, two games up on the Dodgers and the Rockies. They're both tied for second. So, dude, second half of the season, going to be insane. Here is San Diego Padre All-Star. Heath Bell on his squad. Cut one. So any chance we can push him back a game or two, you know, it's huge for us. And then for us to go into the break, two games up, and to have four days off, I think we're going to go out there and rejuvenate ourselves and, you know, play some good baseball second half. Boys in the clubhouse rocking some POD. Absolutely. Did you hear that? Yeah, I did. Making it real right. So tonight, the Home Run Derby is, this evening, one of the best.

34:49Best things about the Midsummer Classic, man, is the home run derby. Watching those guys launch balls out of the yard. It's great. Incredible. Incredible. And then the actual game tomorrow, tomorrow night, it's the best all-star game in any sport. I defy you to tell me different. It's the only one that means something. Yeah. It decides home field advantage in the playoffs. When they did that a few years back, I thought that was the coolest thing. I wish that somehow in football they could figure that out. It means something. Have it mean something. It's the greatest, man. It's absolutely one of my favorite nights of the year. Well, baseball lost a true legend yesterday. Yankee announcer Bob Shepard passed away. He was 99 years old. He started there in 1951. He did 4,500 games. He is absolutely a baseball legend, one of the top stories everywhere today. Bob Shepard, 99 years old, has passed away. If you don't know what he sounds like, this is him cut to. The people at Yankee Stadium are accustomed to hearing Bob Shepard when they come here. It's almost as if they say, there are the monuments in center field. There are the blue fences. There are the blue seats. There is the flag flying. And there is Bob Shepard. That's him? Yeah. This guy is an absolute legend. And then one thing that they did that was pretty cool is Derek Jeter, he stopped doing games in 2007 because he got sick. So Jeter had him record the announcement.

36:13Now to the plate, number two, Derek Jeter. So Jeter, this is Jeter talking about Bob Shepard cut two, or cut three. No, he's as much a part of this organization as any player because he's, even though players change year in and year out, he was the one constant at Yankee Stadium. He's a part of the experience. So, you know, he's going to be missed. Aww. 4,500 games, man. Wow. And the World Cup is over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Spain won 1-0. There are 1,428 glorious days until I ever have to talk about it again. Oh, my gosh. I'm going to enjoy every one of them real sweetly. That's how long it'll be? Yeah. Oh, my. Four years, brother. So, Spain, big win. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. I'm just so over it, if you couldn't tell. Seven weeks later after it started. So, Spain is your winner. 1-0. It was an absolutely crazy game. I saw some highlights. A lot of yellow cards. A lot of... You know, pushing around, a lot of nasty stuff. But here's the game call, Mikey. I want you to translate for everybody. This is cut four. All right. Let me see. Let me translate for you because that was one of the most touching things I've ever heard. What he said was, if you call 1-800-777-4AIS right now, you can get it.

38:06You can get a quote on some of the best auto insurance in town. That is amazing. Absolutely. I would have never thought that's what he was saying. He was very touched. Turns out that's what he was saying. He's been saving a lot of money. It's gorgeous. He was very touched. He was so touched that he was crying as he was giving the call. One of the most exciting. When people flip out like that, it's so exciting. I love it. Those Spaniards love it. They love their soccer over there. Oh, my God. Most of the world loves their soccer. Yeah, I love the soccer. Everybody but us. Yeah, everybody but us. And then finally, Mike, the San Diego Brewers did not have a good day yesterday at all. Oh, boy. Your baseball team. Yeah, my baseball team. Really? Talk about it again? Yeah, we sucked. What is it called? Triple? No, it's 28 and over, double A. 28 and over, double A. Yeah. You pay to play on this team, right? Yes. Okay, just making sure. Yep. You guys did not have a good day. We did. We played one of our rivals, the best team. How many teams are in the league? Well, there's hundreds of teams all the way through, but in our division, there's like eight or ten. Wow. Hundreds? Yeah, hundreds. In San Diego? Yeah. Really? Hundreds. SDABL.com. Check it out.

39:16Let's not be combative. All right. Yeah, no, let's all support. Yeah, let's everybody be on board. Everybody. So we were down three runs. This is real, by the way. We came back to tight. We came back to tight. Is this real life? We're reporting on this. Yes, we are. We came back to tight, and then they got 11 runs in the next inning. We're still talking about it? We lost by 17 runs. Oh, my gosh. It was brutal. But anyway, here's our catcher, Sean Merrill. Cut five. Stop. You know, came out prepared. Are you kidding? Thought we were going to do well. Kept it close for a while. And, you know, one thing led to another. A couple costly mistakes and come out with a loss. Really? Yeah. Is this... What? I'm embarrassed for you. Don't be. Maybe I start doing news on the La Jolla debutante. Smile with me. All right. My gosh. He wants to do man on the street, but all of a sudden he's recording at his baseball game. Yeah, we can't, you know, we came out prepared. He's like, sounds dead serious. He is dead serious. One thing led to another, a couple costly mistakes, and come out with a loss. It's the first time he's been interviewed.

40:23Ever. So if I join the Vavi Kickball League, will you report on it, Woods? Sure. Go out there, get some actualities, get some audio. Yeah, I would love to. You know? Okay, cool. See how the girls are doing. Because what I do is I like to support all of you guys because you guys are all my pals. Does it count as a top for you? Sports stories, though, if I do that? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. That's fantastic. Fantastic. What is happening? That's why, Mikey, that's why they call it. I feel like I just blacked out for the last five minutes. That's why they call it. Woods on sports. Oh, okay. I thought we called it that because you were the person that reported on sports. Woods on his sports. That's fantastic. That is fantastic. So dumb. So we got to tell you about this Jesse Jackson thing. So who's the owner of the Cavaliers? Dan Gilbert. Yeah. Dan Gilbert, in one of the biggest meathead moves I've ever seen, wrote an open letter to Cavalier fans when LeBron left, where he says that LeBron quit during playoff games, which may be true, by the way. My question was, well, listen, if he's such a quitter and you're making the point that he's a quitter and that he's a bad player and a bad person and why are you so upset? You should be celebrating the fact that you got rid of such a jerk. Of a cancer, yeah. Of a cancer, yet you're so upset about it that you're pounding your fists.

41:48And stomping your feet. Seven years old. You'd be seven. You're seven. Seven. Somebody just took your little, you know, Teddy Ruxpin doll from you and you don't like it. Exactly. Teddy Ruxpin. So what did Jesse Jackson just say about it? Well, dude, I read this. I was like, oh boy. Yeah. So basically he sees, he says that Dan Gilbert sees LeBron James as a quote, runaway slave. What? Wow. A runaway slave. So Gilbert wrote the letter. Everybody knows that. I read it. You can go to ClevelandCavaliers.com. You can actually read the letter that he wrote to the fans. He said the comments were mean, arrogant, and presumptuous. Yes. But then, quote, ready? Yeah. He speaks as an owner of LeBron and not the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Oh, my gosh. His feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. Wow. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave. This is an owner-employee relationship between business partners, and LeBron honored his contract. Oh, my God. You know, he makes a point with that last statement, but the previous stuff, man, is a little bit incendiary, I think. I mean, can't you just see it as the guy is a big baby? Yeah. And leave it at that? That's what it is. It's a big baby. Yeah. How about he's a jerk? Yeah.

43:12I don't know that he's a racist. In fact, I think that what he did almost makes the point that he isn't. He's like, I don't care what race you are. I treat everyone like a jerk. Yeah. And I really, even though I'm acting like I don't want you here, I really secretly want you here more than anything. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. It's kind of like when somebody breaks up with you and you're like, you know what? I don't even care, man. Just leave, man. I don't even want you here. Suck. I don't even like going out with you anyway. Well, then why are you freaking out so much? Why aren't you happy that I'm gone? I was going to break up with you. And another thing. Yeah. And you always go back for one more comment. How great is that? One more dig. 570-1949. You can call us and talk about that if you want to. I'm wondering, man, and I'm really wondering if Gilbert's going to come out and... either apologize for his letter. Because, I mean, we all agree, he looked like an idiot when he wrote it. But man, we have not heard the last of this, that's for sure. Seems like the proud type that will probably be like, no, nothing's wrong with it. Absolutely. So, Lauren had a very busy weekend. She saw... Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

44:27What did that mean? Lauren had a very busy weekend. That was creepy. She did have a busy weekend. She saw me and Woods and Sienna and my wife and my brother a few times over the weekend. Somebody write that down. Because that doesn't happen very often. No, it doesn't. On this day in Mikey Show history. Yes. We'll be able to talk about it next year. Lauren was walking across a crosswalk and someone yelled, take it off. How about that? Take it off. You don't want to see. Oh, my God. You said that? No. Oh, that would have been hilarious. Shut up. She said it was really embarrassing because she was standing next to a family when it happened.

45:22Yeah, a little kid had like a balloon on his wrist and these guys, these jokers go by in a truck, take it off! What did you say? Did you respond? I acted like I didn't hear it. It's the best thing to do. Oh, absolutely. It's the best way to do it. Because the family was like right next to me and I was just waiting for one of the kids to be like, what does that mean, mommy? That is so awkward. Is there anything worse than the yell out? The cat call? I feel like maybe he wanted you to take the balloon off your wrist. I don't know. But the cat call always works. It doesn't bother me that much if I'm by myself, whatever, running by. And then you're just like, idiot. But I was stuck. You're stuck at the crosswalk waiting for the stupid blinking man. I hate walking across a crosswalk. And to begin with, and I know why I figured it out. The reason that we all I want everybody driving, everybody listening right now. I want you to imagine yourself at the crosswalk, crosswalk, busy intersection. And you have to hit the button to. Wait for the light to turn to the white. Blinking man. The white blinking man saying you're alone. And you're alone. Oh, no. Just imagine yourself there right now. Imagine the feeling of anxiety pulsing through your body because I know you feel it.

46:36I feel it. You feel it. We all feel it when we're there. And then the guy goes white and we start to, we put our foot out on the street and we're terrified. Okay. We're walking. We don't know what kind of zany is out there that's going to run us over or we're going to be in the news. Who's going to run us over? This person's drunk. We're going to be in the news. It's going to be reported on. We're walking. We're scared. We're walking. We're scared. We're walking. Plus there's judging eyes in the car. I'm like, everyone's judging. The whole bit. But I'm telling you, I figured out why we're so afraid. Because our parents ingrained in our heads when we were kids. Do not! Do not! walk across that street without looking both ways. And so we're terrified of crosswalks. We've been petrified of crosswalks since we were kids. And now, is there anything worse than freaking walking across a crosswalk? It's about to get...

47:32Jack. It's the judging eyes that get me. Every time I do like a little courtesy jog, even being pregnant, I'm like, I got to get out of here. They're thinking I'm walking too slow. Guys don't have, I don't have that. I don't like him because I don't like to be told when I can walk. You want to just go when the coast is clear. When the coast is clear, I'm going to do it. I don't like the judging eyes. I feel like. Do you get that Woods? Judging eyes? No. That's a girl thing. I get it. I get it, but I don't feel it. You mean you feel like guys are going, oh, so how do I rate? No, I feel like people are like, look at this joker. Look at this clown. We do in the car. We all do it. Because I'm a people watcher. I'm not judging anyone. I just like to watch people do things. And so I know the eyes are on me, and I'm like, I'm going to totally screw it up. I'm going to choke. You're allowed to fall. Yes, exactly. The worst thing to me is being a girl, and I know that there's a girl. sitting in one of those cars that I'm walking past and she's looking at my entire outfit and being like, what is that girl wearing? Look at that girl's boobs. Good God. Put them away. Jesus. There's not much I can do. I do.

48:36I don't have any of that stuff when I'm walking across the street. No, because I'm 100% filled with dread. I like adjust my shirt and then I start to second guess why I wore what I was wearing. We carry you across intersections. Are you kidding? I feel like I'm on an episode of Man vs. Wild and I'm just trying to survive. I'm walking across a busy intersection. Could get nailed at any moment. saved your life that one time. You were doing your Mikey Grills impersonation and you were so into it that you didn't look both ways. And Lauren grabbed me. She grabbed my shirt and I was like, I go, wow, I need to be like Bobby Brady right now and owe you like everything. I have to do everything you say because you just saved my life. You're like, I'm walking across an intersection. Mikey! She saved me. By the way, If you have those little things that you think suck. I have one from this morning. What? How about when you're going in to do file papers in the bathroom. Oh, wow. And your boss goes, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Jay. You know, all I'm doing is saying hello to you. Jay Isbell. What happened? Hang on one second. What happened? He engaged me.

49:57He engaged me. I said, make eye contact and go, hey. And then you're like, oh, this is an opportunity to talk. The door's shut. And I'm going in there. In the bathroom? This is in the bathroom? You followed him in and did that? Hear me out. We need to get you an etiquette book. Hear me out. You've been walking in on people. Dude, hang on. I walk in the bathroom. Jay is in the bathroom. He says something. He didn't just go, hey. Yeah. You know, Jay. Morning. He probably said, howdy ho, neighbor. Yeah. Guaranteed that's what he said. You want to smash puppies? He said something. Hey, how are you? And he walked into the stall. Shutting the door. Shutting the door. Once, okay, you guys have different etiquette than us because there's only one thing you can be doing when that door is closed. Yeah. Isn't the guy code? Like, once the door is closed, that's it. Woodstocks to me. Woods talks to me. You talk to me. I do it as a bit. A bit? I do it as a bit. Are you on the air? Woods talks to me. No, but I like to make him laugh. He talks to me, and I'm laughing because he's in the stall as he's talking to me. I finish my business at the urinal. I'm washing my hands, and Woods goes, hey, you're just going to Uncle Ted me all day long? Get out of here. Beat it. And I go, I'm washing my hands. Uncle Ted, maybe get it. Uncle Ted. Like a lingerer. What about this one?

51:19So then on Friday, Friday, Woods is at the urinal. I wash my hands. I'm leaving. And he goes, you're going to stay here and talk to your boy? You're just going to leave like that? While you're in the stall? No, no, no. I was at the urinal. And I go. I didn't want to be weird and sit here and, like, hang out with you. I was done. I had zipped up, and I was going to wash my hands, and he's running out the door. I go, where are you going? He was sashaying. He was prancing out the door. You were really upset by this one? He was catwalking out the door. Woods thinks that the bathroom is a good time to do bits. He opened up the woman's bathroom door the other day, and when he went... When her and Sienna were in there? No, it wasn't even Sienna. It was another person in the building. Yeah, I opened the door. I'm like, great. And just ran. So he made me stay. Well, he made me stay. He goes, ah.

52:12Just going to walk out of here and not talk to your boy? That is weird. Woods loves creating awkward situations. Honestly, when I think about you guys and how it's obvious what you're doing when you go into a stall, I think I would rather have a conversation if it was someone that I know sitting next to me rather than like, okay, silence. I think there's going to be a question about some audio or something. I'm like, it's going to be there when you're ready for it. you know another one of those really awkward times is maybe this is just me but when I'm in line at the ATM and there's someone already there and you have to wait for them I feel like I have to be like a certain distance away like don't look at him don't look at him look away I don't want your code. I don't want it. I'm just standing here. I'm just waiting. I just need to use it, get a little bit of cash out. You're looking over the shoulder like, come on, creep. You look like a thief. What's the proper distance? 15 feet, maybe. You still want to be in line because someone else is going to swoop your spot. And when you're standing at the ATM...

53:16Don't you hover over it? Like, quit looking at my camera. Back up. Weirdo. Identity thief. Or even when you're with a friend and you both have to get cash out, you're like, oh, maybe I'll just stand back here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not trying to look at your balance. I don't care. So, if you haven't already heard, Mel Gibson. First of all, he's been dropped by his talent agency, but Mel Gibson. Train wreck. Went off on his ex-girlfriend on the telephone. The whole thing was recorded. Oh, crazy. And it's like, it's explosive audio. And we'll break it all down next. Listening to The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. Everyone is sharing information and personal experiences with their friends on Facebook. Whether it's a great recipe or a bad book, a special travel tip, or a not-so-spectacular date. Some of the most shared experiences on Facebook are about hair care. And Ovation Cell Therapy is getting shared with a lot of friends on Facebook. Here's what Sharon has shared with her Facebook friends. For those who ask, Ovation is worth every penny. Between the coloring, the flat ironing, and the meds I have to take, my ear was falling out by the handfuls. I've been using Ovation for months now, and what a change.

54:40My stylist says my hair has never been healthier. Thanks, Ovation. Facebook friends love sharing their Ovation Cell Therapy stories of thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair. Find out how easy it is at OvationHair.com. Enter FM94.9 at checkout for a special introductory offer. Your hair can be healthy again. Guaranteed at OvationHair.com. And remember to enter FM94.9 for your special offer. OvationHair.com. Meet Tony Cariccio. owner of a new Chevy Traverse. When my wife and I were shopping for a new vehicle and we looked at Chevy, the options we wanted were all there. We had the OnStar, we had the seating, the sunroof, and the price for the options and the value we were getting, it just says, this is the one we want. We test drove it, we loved it. My wife was ecstatic with the way the car drove. The power seats gives me any position I want. I have long legs. So I have leg room, I have arm room. We immediately fell in love with just the available space and the comfort. We argue who's going to take the Traverse. I prefer the Traverse. I want to get out, drive it on the highway, put the stereo on. I really enjoy the car. It's really sharp to look at, and I get a lot of compliments on the car. So that's something I was looking for. To hear more of Tony's story and to learn more about Traverse, visit Chevy.com and may the best car win.

56:04Visit OnStar.com for details and system limitations. Hear that? That's the sound of recovery, of small businesses beginning to grow again, and at Chase, we're doing our part to help. We've committed $10 billion to small business lending. We're making loans more affordable with our lowest rates in years. And now we've designed the only loan that actually rewards you for hiring employees. Introducing the Loan for Hire only from Chase. Hire a new employee, get a lower rate. When your small business is approved for a new loan, you get an immediate half-point rate discount for each new employee you hire, up to three employees. And if your business checking is also with Chase, you'll get another half-point on top of that. That's as much as 2% off our lowest rates in years, which could save you thousands of dollars. It's the Loan for Hire only from Chase. The only loan designed to reward you for growing your business. Visit a branch or go to chase.com slash loanforhire for details. Chase what matters. Some restrictions, requirements, and fees may apply. Offer expires 12-31-2010. All lines of credit are subject to approval. Not valid in combination with any other lending offer. JPMorgan Chase Bank and A. Member FDIC. Equal Opportunity Lender.

57:07This report is brought to you by Walgreens. Walgreens brand over-the-counter medications are 100% quality guaranteed, so you can trust every package with Walgreens' name. Walgreens, there's a way to stay well. On the 8 eastbound between the 125 and the 5, looks like a small delay this morning, a little bit of congestion in the area. The 805 northbound between the 54 and the 52, looks like speeds are about 55 miles an hour. And the 56 westbound between the 15 and the 5, traffic is flowing. Freely. You got a great drive. Just head out the door now before it starts getting bad. This report is brought to you by Centrum Ultra Women's scientifically advanced and specially formulated multivitamins just for women. Centrum Ultra Women's, the most complete multivitamin for women. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I like a skinny fry. I don't like. Thick. I don't like thick bags. Lauren. My handbag is made out of recycled kimonos, okay? Woods. I smoke a pack a day. You're going to live longer, pal. Zienna. Look how fair my skin is. I got freckles. Get out of here. And Jay. Yeah, back rubs are kind of a specialty of mine. On FM 94.9. Number one song in the country right now is Katy Perry and Snoop. California Girls. Katy Perry is another one of those used-to-be-on-Disney kind of deals.

58:50She did? Yeah. She used to be like a hot mousketeer or something. Katy Perry? Wasn't she a little kid star? I think that might be a dollar, pal. Maybe you get your wallet out. Maybe I go to Wikipedia and prove everybody right. Yeah, I'm probably wrong about that. We'll see. I thought you were right. Let's see. Oh, Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson's got issues, man. Yeah. Got some real issues. He's got a few going on right now. He does. He's lost it. He is, this is Girlfriends. Oksana Gregorieva. They just had a baby last year. She's like a musician, like a famous musician. Russian singer. Yeah. And they had a baby. And he is upset at her, apparently over whether or not she ever told him that she had a boob job or something.

59:55Weird stuff. Wouldn't he know? I guess he did or he didn't. I don't know. It's unclear. The whole thing's weird. It has nothing to do with it. Oh, the body's in there? Correct. I've never heard of it. Now, wow. Take note of something here. You hear his voice on a telephone. You hear her voice, like, recorded in the room. It's not two voices on a telephone. Do you understand? And so... This is what is on speaker and she was recording it. Well, I mean, but you do. But we're clear on that. One voice is a telephone. His telephone. Her voice is a live recording. Does that make sense? Yeah. OK, so they they ask her, how did these tapes get out there? Do you know who's releasing those tapes? Do you know who's getting in Teredo, though? No idea. What do you think about that? Do you mean for those to get out to the public?

1:01:15Well, can't it only be one person that can put it out there? Her. Yeah, because her part is the live part. His part's the part on the phone. If it were reversed, he'd be the only one that could have given him out. She's probably trying to act like somebody tapped her phone lines or something. See, but that's where I'm trying to drive this point home. It isn't a matter of tapping phone lines. Right, but that's probably what she's trying to say. But she can't. Well, maybe some people don't have as keen of an ear as you. And don't notice that one's live and one's on the phone? Yeah. Well, then she messed up because one's in the room with her. No, it seems so obvious that she wants to get him, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, I guess what my point is is that there's no getting around the fact that she recorded it. Yeah.

1:02:14There's no, you can't get around it. Yeah, it's proof that, you know, to what she wanted to say, and now she just provided proof with audio. Yeah. Now, is Mel Gibson nutty? Yeah, yeah, he's nutty. Yes, he is. He's nutty as a box of fruit nuts. Is that a real thing? Grape nuts. That's great. Fruit loops. There's nothing nutty in grape nuts, though. Is that another dollar, pal? I don't even, what is a grape nut? No, it'd be two dollars because there's no such thing as fruit nuts. Katie Perry was never a Mouseketeer. Was she not? Katie Perry wasn't a Mouseketeer. And there's not even nuts in Grape Nuts. $3. She was nuttier than a box of hammers. Yeah, but there is the word nuts in there. Yes. So I wouldn't charge it all. I'm going to give you 50 cents on that. Yeah, 50 cents. $1.50. Here's a little more wackiness from Mel. Telephone. Yes.

1:03:31Do you love her or want her? Yeah. Okay. It sounds like he's on drugs. Oh, my gosh. I don't like that. I mean, it just seems so sneaky, though, that, like, you know, she, of course, there's nothing bad that she said. Right. I'm sure she's never said anything wrong. Because she knew. Yes. Because she was recording it. You know. You hear how calm she is? Yeah. Yeah. Not even. Yeah, you're right. It's correct. Correct. Yeah. Like, if she had no idea and someone tapped her phones or whatever she is claiming. Yeah. then I'm sure she would be fighting back a little bit. I never lied to you, Mel. Yeah. What's that? Say that louder. Louder. More clear. More clear, please. Here you can hear her in this one. Mikey. I don't sashay. I don't walk around in tight clothes. That's a beautiful recording of a person. Yeah.

1:04:39That's a beautiful recording with a microphone right where that person is. Yeah, she had a blueberry. Yeah, I mean, it was like a beautiful microphone recording it. Oh, my gosh. That sounds nuts. Isn't that what attracted him to her? I'm pretty sure you just had a baby with her. There had to be some attraction. Beachless. Oh, my gosh. My jaw was just like dropped. It's insane. Now, this is on the heels of a few years ago. He got in trouble for the racist, anti-Semitic remarks that he made when he was getting busted by the cops. No, it was beeped out, but it sounds like he might have made another racist remark in there. Wow.

1:05:41He was also just dropped by his talent agency, Willie Morris. Yeah. Yeah, you think. That's like the big. The big one. The big dog. Don't want to be dropped by them. Yep. Let's see. M1, Annie from Claremont. Hey. Can you sort out for me what I was trying to say? Yeah, you're trying to say it was nuttier than a fruitcake. Oh, that's great. What did you say? A box of fruit nuts? Nuttier than a box of fruit nuts. No such box exists on planet Earth. You can search the Earth. Fruit nuts. You can go to every grocery store you want. You can find every generic brand you want. You'll never find fruit nuts, Mike. Nope. They don't exist, buddy. Maybe they will now. And you want to know something else? There ain't no nuts and grape nuts, dude. When my brother came to visit me when he was still living back east and I lived here, his professor said, oh, you're going to go to California? It's like a box of cereal full of a bunch of... Fruits, nuts, and flakes. That's right. I've heard it. Wow. I know. I never heard that. Well, you know the bit they say about Texas. Steers and queers. It's great. That's what they do say about it. It makes me so proud. Don't see any horns on you, fella. That's right. You don't worry about it. What's left? Jay, you're from Texas. Where are your horns? Yeah, you're from Texas. Stop it. Oh, my goodness. 570-1949. Oh, Mel.

1:07:06Malison's nuts. Guy can make some good movies, though, man. I'll tell you what. He makes some really good movies. Listen, it's us creative types that are always the weirdest. I just want to say, though, how did he not know? I mean, he made a child with her. How did he not know she had fake boobs? That's true. Hey, they do wonderful things these days. I love how he had to specify, you can stay in the house. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. But you can stay there. It's like, man, when you have that much money, you have to be. I'm still a gentleman. Yeah. That is so true, though. How do you not know that your wife. How do you not know? Unless she got him after the fact, but. He's out of his tree, dude. He's out of his tree. It's pretty obvious she does. Let's see. Oh, if you want to text in about it, 949mikey at gmail.com. In a couple of minutes, we're going to be playing our version of Name That Tune. Yes. Oh, boy. What is the categories today, Jay? Movies. Movies? Mm-hmm. All right. Woods. Woods does feel good with that. He's so good at that. Woods was in there a long time this morning. No, I went first. He went first. I went first. Don't call me out. Don't call me a cheat. Don't call me a yellow. We'll get him. You're not going to take this one, kid.

1:08:24Let's see. Unless they're cartoons. Then I got you. Then you got me real good. Speaking of, you saw Toy Story 3, right? I did, and I cried. It was so good. Weird. Really weird, I know. It was really good. We went on Friday night, and I'm sad that it's over. Toy Story, goodbye. Never more? No more. I thought it was done a long time ago. What did they do? Wrap up the plot? Well, it ended... Like Lost? Okay, it would be a bad move if they came out with another one. I mean, first of all, Toy Story 2 came out so long ago, they waited a long time and then finally released Toy Story 3. And it was just a really sweet ending. Like, it was a perfect ending. Liberty said it was scary in parts. Scary? She said that it was kind of some intense parts. Was there a part with fire? Fire? Oh, yeah. Can I just say, you know, for those little kid movies, they need to start, like, letting you know that... This is in there. Because I'm telling you, I got bamboozled by Disneyland for crying out loud. I got bamboozled by Disneyland. Because we took Jake to Disneyland for the first time. Pirates of the Caribbean with the scary pirate dude with the beard that are, you know, octopus or whatever. Yeah. That's freaking scary. For you or for Jake? Both. Jake was fine. Jake was fine, you know. Daddy was crying. Jake was fine, but...

1:09:45I imagine that they're probably kids that get scared. Yeah. Mikey. Yeah. Have you never ridden that ride before, Mikey? No, dude. I hadn't been there. And that's a new, newer feature. They added that. Well, it's been there forever, but they've actually updated it. The Jack Sparrow. Match the movie. Yeah. Now they've got like all kind of crazy CG going on in there. Really? What does that mean? CG? Yeah. It's a... Uh-oh. No. CGI? Is that what you mean? CGI. What's the matter? What's wrong with you? Would you have known if I said CGI? No. Would you have known if I said, it's like Industrial Light and Magic is doing their thing in there? No. Okay. It's a Monday. I like girls. Here we go. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. Did you have coffee this morning, Mike? You want to know what? Uh-oh. I know what it is. You had that tiny little cup that you dropped when you walked in. Yes. It wasn't your usual. And you know what it is? It's home coffee. That's the problem. You need your barstucks. I gotta have the barstucks. I'll run down and make it right. That's okay, buddy. You're on the program. Oh, I am? Yeah.

1:11:01So we can't have you do that. You sure? Yeah, you're here on the program. It's a bit. We'll take it, Mike. I got your back, Mike. CGI means computer-generated imagery. That I knew. I did not. There we go. Ever heard of that, Woods? No, I like girls, dude. You're out kissing girls. Word of the day. Playing sports. Not me. Liking girls. You know what I was doing? What? Sitting nice and chubby on the couch. Bag of Doritos, watching stuff about CGI. You can do all those things. Yeah. You can like sports, girls, CGI. Unless you could like them all, right? News. I guess. Nudes? Is that what you're saying? I said news. World news. M1 Josh, are you there? Yeah, I'm here, man. Good morning, guys. Good morning. Hey, I just wanted to chime in on the absence of Lance in contention for the Tour de France. He's officially out of this. He's conceded, pretty much. He did? To make it back. What's his deal? He just had a couple of crashes. Just one of those things. He's got some young guys out there that are... Really strong and good teams. Lance is like 38 years old. He's got seven of them, doesn't he? Yeah. Yeah, this will be his last one. So it's a bummer, but nonetheless, he'll be working for his team, trying to get the rest of his teammates up there. Well, maybe he can ride in the Tour of Carlsbad next year. Maybe. Because that's what they love to do. Well, I think his comment was he's just riding for Livestrong now. If he can get his message out there, that's all he cares about now. Hang it up, pal. Yeah, maybe. Hang him up, Lance. Just wanted to chime in. Woods forgot that. Thank you.

1:12:29Thank you, buddy. Oh, Woodsy just looked irritated. I'm blaming. Like, Woods forgot that, so. Yeah, Woods forgot that. I didn't forget it, but it's cycling. It's a bigger story than the San Diego Brewers. Oh! I don't think so. She's got a point. I don't think so. Wait a second. I don't know about that. Hang on a minute. Not in my world, it's not. San Diego Brewers, Woodsy's own baseball team. You know, came out prepared. Oh, wow. I thought we were going to do well. Kept it close for a while. Oh, wow. You know, one thing led to another, a couple costly mistakes, and come out with a loss. Wait, was that Lance Armstrong? No, that was Sean Marrow. He's our catcher. Oh, right. Catcher, pitcher. On the league that you paid for. Triple A baseball team. Double A. You couldn't even get the pitcher. You had to get the catcher. Double A. One of our best players. Pitcher's too big time for us. How much did you pay to play in that league? Like 150 bucks. You know what, though? It doesn't matter. I mean, the fact is you're out in the sunshine. You're just out there. Playing baseball. You know, playing some. Panning some balls. America's, it's your national pastime. Maybe you get behind that. You know, came out prepared. Yeah. So serious. Thought we were going to do well. Sure. Took it close for a while. Yeah. And, you know, one thing led to another. One thing led to another. 17 runs in one inning. 11 in one and six in the next.

1:13:37It happens, man. That's a rough day. I'm going to go for a run today. You want to get audio of that, Woods? And we can maybe put it on Woods on Sports tomorrow? Just the pitter-patter of her feet. Look at Woods. How was that run? He's holding it in. It was good. It was good. I started strong. You know, I didn't really finish the way I wanted to. Tell me where you stand on this one. 5701949. Mikey, thought you guys could use this on the show. My friends and I have been going around and around about it for weeks, but I want to hear your suggestion. I've recently... proposed to my girlfriend and she accepted. The only problem is she's allergic to my dog. She'll be moving in soon and has told me that she can't live in the same house with my lab, Buster. I've had Buster for seven years, man. He's not going anywhere, but she wants me to either get rid of him or keep him outside. Neither of which I want to do. What would you guys do? M1 Alphonse. Could be a typo. It's either Alphonse or Alfonso. I'm going to go with Alphonse. Alphonse, I... This is so simple to me. Oh, boy. Well... What do you do, Mike? You don't have to get rid of the dog. You could put him outside. But if you can't put him outside, you have to get rid of the dog. No, you don't. Well, then the other option is get rid of your girlfriend. Done. Fiance. How did it get this far along? Done. How did it get that far along? Probably stayed at her house or something. He probably stayed over there. Yeah.

1:15:05Yeah, you either have to get rid of the dog or you have to get rid of her. Woods. See ya, hon. No. Stop. Dude, seven years you've had that laugh. You don't mean that. I wouldn't marry someone that couldn't be around my dog. What if you were over there so much, you were over her place so much, you didn't know that she was allergic? He was being a neglectful owner if that was the case. Yeah, then I'd be leaving my dog by himself. I just am imagining right now. I mean, obviously, like... The rational thing is I guess to choose the fiance. But imagining my dog and being like goodbye and saying goodbye. I can't do it. After seven years. I wouldn't either. You put the dog outside so you don't have to get rid of your dog. It's a responsibility. And I think a lot of people take it way lightly. Like I see stuff all the time. Like, hey, we've had our thing for six years and we want to find a new home for it. No, you don't find a new home. Whatever happens, you deal with it. Just like if something happens with one of your kids, it is a responsibility. But what if the dog starts getting nippy with a baby? Then you got to figure it out. You got to keep them separate. You have to. You have to. No. You don't just give your dog away. There's exceptions to give the dog a better home, better situation. I don't know, man. We want to adopt a kid. We've got five dogs. And believe me, if that was the case, we're not getting rid of any of our dogs. And we don't want our child hurt. We're not going to put our child in harm's way. But we would find a way.

1:16:31Wait. Where there's a will, there's a way. Who comes first, dogs or people? In what regard? Okay, let's say you guys have a baby and the baby's allergic to the dogs. Okay. What do you do? I don't know. You have to figure it out. We figure it out. No. We're not getting rid of our five dogs. You're going to get rid of your child? No, we're not getting rid of our child, but we have to. Maybe the girl gets allergy shots. Maybe something. There's always a way. Maybe the dogs have their own room. The dogs have their own room, and we go in there and play with the dogs. Well, my parents have a dachshund, and he bites. He's a bad dachshund. And my mom is going to be watching our baby, you know, after I'm done with maternity leave. And that's a big issue for me. I'm like, I don't want the dog there. I'm terrified the dog's going to go near the baby. You have to figure something out. And it's a big dilemma that we talk about all the time. And my parents are like, do we get rid of the dog? Who would take a dog that bites? You know, and it's a dachshund. Right. So this is something that we're dealing with because it's like. You can't have someone in your house that's going to jeopardize a human being's life. No. And I say, you know, it's time for the dog to become an outside dog. It's not that big a deal. That's so hard, though. Well, in San Diego, it's not that big of a deal. It's probably not. I don't know. Maybe the dog would like it better. It's not Minneapolis or anything. No. But then, like, do you only play with the dog outside? Because then the hair gets in the house. M1, Amelia.

1:17:57In Point Loma is in the same situation right now? Hi. My mom and I are moving in with her boyfriend in Alpine, and he had three cats, and we're both allergic. And he's still got one more, but he's really attached to this cat because he brought it back with him from New Mexico. And we have two little dogs that don't like cats, let alone other dogs. So we're kind of in a dilemma. I'll tell you right now. If one of our kids was allergic to cats, bye-bye, Jules. Yeah. Bye-bye. No way. Yeah, I hate cats, so. And I love dogs, so it's weird. Yeah, to me. Yeah, we don't really know what to do. He's trying to find another place for the cat to live, but he's so attached to her. It's so hard to do, though. Listen, I'm with you, even though I've done it. I'm with you on the whole, if you have a dog or you have a cat, it's your responsibility. You don't just say.

1:18:52Oh, we're going to find a better home. We don't have enough time spent. I get it. I understand that. But when it comes down to people and pets, you know, your kids have to come first. Well, and maybe a better situation for the, you say find a better home, not as just a cliche, but maybe it would be better if they had a yard and a family that wanted to play with them instead of, okay, you're relegated to sitting outside now, dog. Yeah. You know, so maybe it would be a better situation, even though you'll miss the dog. For sure. I agree with the kids. I mean, if your kids come along are sick or the dog gets nippy at kids, then absolutely dog gone. But if it's somebody that you've been dating, I don't know, man. I'm willing to hear you out, Woodsy. Yeah. I'm willing to hear you out. Like I said, where there's a will, there's a way. She should look into those allergy shots. She should, definitely. Do something. Take a Benadryl. Because didn't you say, Mike, that you're allergic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I still have to take stuff. Okay, take stuff. Because I think I'm allergic to the cat. Yeah. Okay, so Woods. Mm-hmm. We're going to play a little game. Okay. And in my little game, the only rules in my little game are that you cannot answer with the following answer. You cannot say, I don't know. So you must know. Okay. You must come up with something. Okay. So you're engaged to be married. You're with this girl. She says to you, I'm allergic to cats or dogs. And you go, well, that's great because I'm not getting rid of them.

1:20:21Well, it's either me or the dog. And you say, well, you need to get allergy surgery. And she does. She goes, OK, I can see that the dog means a lot to you. I'm getting allergy surgery. She does. She moves in. You're married. And then she continues to have the problems allergic reaction. Then what? Then I may consider moving my dog outside. Or having a special room or something built for him outside. This is interesting. This is interesting. Because Woodsy says, he does not say, I think it's interesting to note. He does not say, then I move the dog outside. I may consider. He says, I may consider at this point moving the dog outside. It's easy to say that hypothetically. Man's best friend, pal. I would have to build the dog or have someone build like a nice house. For the dog outside. Like an awesome dog house or something. Because I would feel so bad being like an indoor dog. All of a sudden, yeah, you're on the cold, buddy. What if she were still on the cold? Forget it. What if she were? She wouldn't be. How about build like a little cabana for you and the dog? Quit crying. Have a Benadryl. You'll be fine. Yeah. You're not going to die or anything. You're not the only one that feels that way, Woodsy. M1 Doggy from El Cajon. Are you there?

1:21:45Yeah, I'm here, man. Go ahead, bro. I'm with Woodsy all the way on this one. You got to keep the dog. And you say that the girl just has to deal with it? She's got to either deal with it or get out or something, but the guy's got to keep the dog, man. Seven years? That's a good long walk. It's a bond, man. Yeah. Even if it means the end of the relationship? Yeah, probably. No, Lauren. No. Yeah. What do you mean? The guy wouldn't propose. She's allergic. Hey, listen. I didn't know. I was in the same exact situation with Rebecca. I had no idea. She was with me for years. I didn't know. I'd been to her house. You were allergic to her cat? No. Until you started living with... Until I started living with the cat. Once I started living there, I was allergic. I would get allergy... I would get sinus infections every three months.

1:22:46It's hard because it's hard to sleep. You know, you can't sleep. You're sneezing. This may be why I'm a little callous to it. My mom, for 25 years, I'm allergic to dogs. I'm allergic to dogs. I think that was her bit when we were growing up. Yeah. Like why we couldn't get a dog. I'm allergic. I'm allergic. When she comes to visit or when she sees my dogs, she'll have seven dogs on her. We only have five, but she'll have seven on her. Running around, running around her neck. And I'm like. I'm looking at her going, wow, these allergies are really killing you, aren't they? It must be tough. Are you okay? I've seen bad allergies, though. It's not pretty. It's ridiculous. I had to live with it. People that have really bad allergies? Yeah, I mean, it just depends. It's a fake bit. No, it's not. It's called Claritin. Enjoy. Dude. Take one and sip it. I took the Claritin. I didn't take Flonase, just Claritin. That's all I took. I would take that stupid stuff. And I would get those stupid infections every three months and it hurts so freaking bad and green, the green. I mean, infected. Had me on all these different antibiotics. And finally I said, I'm sick of it. I'm getting surgery. I got the surgery and now I still have to take the Flonase every day. But the symptoms are still there because of that.

1:24:04cat that we own named Jules. He lives in our home. He lives there every day. He's a good boy. Yeah, you know how many times he's paid rent? Really? Not one time. Gives your boy, gives little boots fits. Maybe I'll just throw senior beans out on the street. No. Don't throw anybody out on the street. That's so hard to think about. You do the respectful thing. You find somebody that will love them. I would have seriously questioned. I'd be like, well, is this really the relationship? Is this the right girl for me? This is a sign. We're going to play Name That Tune. You want to play? 570-1949. Breaking news just came on the TV about Roman Polanski. We'll tell you about it next. The countdown is on. I already got my ticket. For the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite and Scion. August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Empathy. On the main stage, Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros.

1:25:44Hey, it's Woods from The Mikey Show. Do you have leaky faucets, sticky pipes? Today's your lucky day because I can help you. No, not me personally, but my buddy Scott Farrell at Black Mountain Plumbing. Scott's one of the coolest guys you'll ever meet, and he's a big fan of all that is good, like the Mikey Show. He's been in business for over 15 years here in San Diego, and Black Mountain Plumbing is San Diego's quality A-plus rated plumbing shop with absolute integrity above all else. If you value things carried out with integrity, Black Mountain Plumbing is your kind of place. Hey, and listen up, M1s. These guys are strong. They've got an A-plus rating on the Better Business Bureau and Angie'sList.com. Black Mountain Plumbing wants to meet all FM 94.9 and Mikey Show fans to win each and every one of you as a customer for life. Call Scott today at 858-536-4161 or check out www.blackmountainplumbing.com. Tell them Woods sent you.

1:27:03In a time long ago, well, maybe not that long ago, there was DSL. I'm giving her all I got, Captain. And it was slow. This summer, Cox High Speed Internet will change your world with premier service at speeds up to 33 times faster than AT&T's basic DSL, featuring free power boost. Wow, the extra burst of speed and power I need to stream my videos, movies, and music. and the free Cox Security Suite powered by McAfee, a $70 a year value for the online security needed to make the world a safer place. Choose the Cox High Speed Internet plan that's right for you. Preferred service starts for just $14.99 a month for 12 months when you order the Cox Ultimate Bundle. Plus, ask how you can take your movie experience online with Epix and Utopia. This summer, it's time for Cox High Speed Internet. For details, visit cox.com. Your friend in the digital age. Limited time offer. Excludes equipment rental and other fees. Actual speeds vary. Other restrictions apply. Take the kids to school and make sure Janie has her book report. Fight the traffic late to meeting. Compliment the boss's hair. Sit at keyboard. Check my email. Start to type. I'm slowing down.

1:28:15Need a lift? Go to McDonald's. Real fruit smoothies, wow, that's new. Juicy strawberries, sweet bananas, low-fat yogurt, yummy lift. Back to office, send a JPEG, R-O-T-F-L-O-L. Sip my smoothie, work is groovy. Day is done, I'm out of here. Fruitify your day with McDonald's new real fruit smoothies. Strawberry banana or wild berry. They're a luscious lift any time of day. And they start at just $2.29. Ah, home from work, the couch is mine. Time to get a good night's sleep. Get a text from Rachel. Meet at Mickey D's for a girl's night out. Price and participation may vary. Every morning at McDonald's, you can enjoy two sausage McMuffin with egg sandwiches for just $3.50. Great breakfast value and the great taste of savory sausage, melted cheese, and fresh cracked eggs. The sausage McMuffin with egg, just two for $3.50 every morning at McDonald's. Have you heard? Proactive is new and better than ever. Stay tuned for a million bottle giveaway announcement.

1:29:08Do you have troubled skin, acne? Well, we have great news. With New Proactiv, your acne can heal and you can prevent new breakouts from happening. Be one of the first to try it by giving us a call at 1-800-277-1134. Because we're going to let a million people try New Proactiv risk-free and also receive our legendary refining mask and green tea moisturizer free if you call right now. You heard it. Be one of the first to try new and better than ever Proactiv solution. You'll receive a 60-day risk-free trial, plus a free refining mask and green tea moisturizer. Call 1-800-277-1134. This is our best radio offer ever. Get your risk-free 60-day trial of new proactive plus two free extras. Show acne who's boss. Be proactive. Call 1-800-277-1134. That's 1-800-277-1134. BevMo presents the five-cent sale word, deal. In fact, if you look up the word deal in the dictionary, it says, buy one bottle, get the second for just five cents, e.g. BevMo's five-cent wine sale. Well, not really, but you get the point. Hurry, BevMo's five-cent sale is on. Choose from more than 200 great wines like Ghostbine Chardonnay, Mezza Corona Chardonnay, and Gnarly Head Merlot. Club Bev members, buy one bottle, get the second for just five cents.

1:30:28deal Mo and save Mo at BevMo. Hey, it's Alita. I love my car and I really love my car loan from California Coast Credit Union. I can choose to pay only 2.98% APR for 36 months or 3.98% APR for 60 months. And I don't even have to have checking or direct deposit to get these amazing rates. With their great service and rates, you're going to fall head over heels for California Coast Credit Union. Call 877-495-1600. California Coast Credit Union is all about This report, it is brought to you by Sears Auto Centers. Visit the Sears Automotive Center for the best price on all your car needs. Bring in any competitor's offer. Sears will match it, guaranteed. Visit SearsAuto.com for more great offers. Sears, life well spent. On the eastbound between the 125 and the 5, looks like you've got a small delay, a little bit of congestion, not real bad, though. Heading on to the 56 westbound between the 15 and the 5. Same story about 40 miles an hour. Oceanside on the 5 southbound between the 76 and 56. We've got speeds about 45 miles an hour. This report is brought to you by Walgreens. Walgreens brand over-the-counter medications are 100% quality guaranteed. So you can trust every package with a Walgreens name. Walgreens, there's a way to stay well. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. It's time for the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.

1:31:58What's happening? This is Bird from Dragon Eyewear with the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report for a Monday morning being brought to you by Guayaquil Urumate. It's almost like, once again, an anti-surf report because it's very small out there. Just some weak little pulses out of the southwest, south-southwest, and a dribble of northwest. Wentzville joining in with it. Combine that with a negative tide that has since passed, and we're looking really tiny. Ankle knee-high on average may be a waist-high wave at the best of the combination spots. As that tide fills back in, you might see a little bit more action. To add insult to injury, overcast skies will reach you once again. However, not quite as thick as it has been, showing more potential for a breakthrough of sunshine, which would be almost a fair tradeoff in no surf, I guess, seeing how it's been so cloudy for so long. There is a bit of north wind on it, too, making it kind of bumpy and broken up. So, once again, better to go to work or do something a little bit more constructive. Surfing right now, looking weak and bleak. For up-to-the-minute surf reports forecast, go to surfline.com. And for everything you need in order to go surf, check out one of South Coast Surf Shops' five locations or go online at southcoast.com. The surf report, of course, is brought to you by Guayaki Yerba Mate, and it can only be heard three times daily right here on FM 94.9. This has been the FM 94.9 Authentic Surf Report.

1:33:24Now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Oh, I want to go to battle. Lauren. I've got strawberry seeds in my teeth. Weird. Woods. I'm a mess today. I'm an absolute 100% threat. Sienna. There's nothing wrong with mash.com. And Jay. Yeah, I killed a snake. I didn't want to, but he gave me no choice. On FM 94.9. We're getting ready to play Name That Tune, and we just need one person to call that will pick up. Don't say it! I hate you all. Real. I've won. What if you win today? What if you win this thing today? You know, it could happen. Sienna? Miracles do happen. 570-1949. We'll bribe him with a pair of tickets to the San Diego Zoo. There you go. Tickets to the zoo at night. Call us right now. No one's going to have a pregnant woman's back. 570-1949. Is that the world we live in? Come on. Somebody call in and pick Sienna right now. Is that the world we live in?

1:34:28Sienna, what's happening? Some exciting news. A new Miss California from San Diego was just crowned. 18 years old, Ariana Afsar. And she was actually on American Idol, too. Last season, she was one of the 36 semifinalists. UCLA freshman. Very pretty girl. Wow. So congrats to her. That's pretty cool. Also, photos of Fidel Castro have just hit the internet in over four years. We haven't seen any. I thought he was dead. I did too. Well, because he had the intestinal illness, you know, which he had to turn over his power to his brother. But now pictures are out and he looked pretty good. I mean, he's hunched over a little bit in pictures, but his health, he looks pretty healthy otherwise. So it's kind of big news. They're all over the internet right now. Let's see what's going on in sports. Well, the Padres go into the break. 14 games over 500 with a two-game lead in the West, which is... Awesome. Home Run Derby is tonight. Make sure to tune in. And then the All-Star Game is tomorrow in Anaheim. And Jesse Jackson and Dan Gilbert are both clowns. Yeah, they are. Roman Polanski is a movie director who... Speaking of clowns. Yeah, speaking of clowns. Oscar-winning filmmaker. Yeah, he is. Yep. Last movie he won Best Director for was The Pianist. You can't say that on the radio, do you? No, I said...

1:35:45The pianist. You can't say that. You can say that. You just have to say it carefully. Now. Pianist. The pianist. It's a little better. Well, back in the 60s, was it? 1977. Oh, well, really close. Yeah, and if you're not familiar with him, he was admitted. He admitted having unlawful sex with a 13-year-old girl in 1977. Fled L.A., which is where he. Crack you up there, Lauren, on that one. That one gets you every time. No, I was laughing because you owe another dollar. I think maybe you owe one on that one, too. Such a toy race. Giggle, giggle, giggle. Oh, wow. Well, he pled guilty back in 77 in L.A. and fled the U.S., was found in Switzerland last year, and he's been fighting extradition ever since. And Switzerland will not extradite Roman Polinsky. That's terrible. Breaking news this morning. Shocking. I know it. So he gets to stay. That's unbelievable. I know it. It's unbelievable. 570-1949. Give us a call right now. We're going to do Name That Tune. And today the theme is movies. Woods kills at this. So I don't know if we have a chance. Come on in, Jay. I was doing pretty well for a while in the music. You did great with the pop stuff.

1:37:09You did really good. All right. Why do I only see three lines blinking? There's four. There's four. Okay. I was about to really cry. I was going to cry over this. Mikey's pretty good at movie lines, too, though. This is movie lines. No, it just depends. And my brain works a quarter of a second. Oh, Austin, when I send you, can you also get barstucks for me? Wow. Because Lauren's right. My brain is not functioning at normal capacity, and it's because of that. All right, are we ready? Let's do this. Let's do it. I feel ready. Here we go. Ready? Yep. Lauren. Adam's family. Wow. Very nice. Good job. Bam. All right, here we go. Airplane. Wow. That was quick. Yeah, that's... Sienna's looking at me right now like, really? Is it going to go like this? Yeah. Is that how it's going to be? Here we go. What's the name of it? Woods. The Truman Show. No! I knew it!

1:38:42Wow. I kept wanting to say Ed TV, and I'm like, that's not it. Jim Carrey jerked. Yeah. Jim Carrey jerked. Here we go. In the dark, a murder right across the hall to the study. Take top the rope and a lead pipe. Lime. Clue. Very good. What score? 2-2. 2-2. Yeah. How's Mikey and Santa doing? We're doing fantastic over here, looking dapper. Yeah, we're just standing here. Okay, we're just standing here. Looking dapper. Looking good over there. Here we go. Oh. Is it fate? Is it meant to be? Is it written in the stars? Mikey. The Pink Panther. I know it, I know, I know it. I'd like to think so. Lauren. The mask. Another Jim Carrey joint. Uh-huh. Kind of a theme. Not really. Easy there, Ace Ventura. Here we go. Hustle Beach, half an hour. I will see you there. Woods.

1:39:47I love you, man. Wow. See you later. Woodsy and Lauren are tied with three. I've got negative one. And Sienna's got nothing. Here we go. The third floor corridor is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to suffer a most painful death. Understand this, Harry, because it's very important. Not all wizards are good. Mikey! That's Harry Potter. Wow. How could it take you guys that long? I didn't hear the word wizard. I knew it was Harry Potter, but I thought you were going to say, which one? The Half-Blood Prince. Oh, my gosh. It's the only name I can remember. There we go. He's going to make a scene. The Volturi will kill him if he returns. Woods. Twilight. I'm going to need a little bit more clarification. That's actually New Moon.

1:40:54Come on, Twilight. It's New Moon from the Twilight series. That's what I meant. You got it. That was fantastic. Here we go. Super good. I just had a look in his face right now like, I have no idea, but I just did. I like girls. I like girls. You know that. And Twilight. Inviting me down now on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go. Hunt for the Red October. What? Oh, my gosh. That could not have been more wrong. I thought it was Sean Connery. Negative, negative. Sean Connery. Oh, wait, what was that? Lauren missed it? I was thinking of what it was. Play it again. We're continuing on. I said you wouldn't allow it. Sienna. That's how I count. Four o'clock. Sienna. Oh, sorry. The Grinch. Nice. Yes. Another Jim Carrey movie. What's the Grinch? The Hunt for the Red October. The Hunt for the Red October. Sean Connery. Sean Connery. She thought that was Sean Connery. Notice that that was a kid's movie. Okay. What's the score? What's the score? Lauren, two. Woods, four. Sienna, one. Mikey, zero. It's a runaway. This is the last one, but we'll go ahead and play it. Worth two points. No, it's not. We're the hundreds. We're the hundreds. We're the hundreds. Worth two points. That sounds fair. Okay. Woods. I Am Legend. Woods. Gosh darn it.

1:42:29You do good with the movies, man. That was good. Maybe you get a life, Woods. Maybe you leave your house. M1 Brian from PB. Are you there? Hey, dude. What's going on, Doug? Not too much, man. Woodsy nailed it for you. Knocked it out of the park, buddy. And you got it right. And I won the contest. All right, hang on the line. Okay, I'm now going to tell Austin my order. Austin, are you ready? I would like a venti... Is this happening? This is. A venti half-calf with... Don't forget his robes. One Splenda. Scepter. And half and half. Cloak, maybe? And my robes. And a scepter. And my cloaks. And a scepter. And if anybody knows a good cloak cleaner-y... Is he going to Jamba? Yeah. I made a place in order. Don't leave yet, Austin. Maybe you guys not eat in front of me. Maybe. How about that? We did this during the break. I know. That would be a good idea. It's a good idea. Woodsy is noshing right now on a... Oh, you're supposed to peel the string cheese. He's eating a string cheese like a hot dog. A string cheese light.

1:44:00Oh, my. That's like melted plastic that's been congealed back again. Yeah, he's on P90X. He's starting it today, and he's eating a bag of turkey meat. Yep, and almonds. Is that approved by the diet? Yes. The almonds, are they salted? She's rolling her eyes wide. I'm not rolling my eyes. It just seems like a whole lot of sodium to be acceptable for the diet. No, these are snacks. I probably shouldn't eat them all together, but that's what I'm doing. Is it your snacks throughout the day? I don't know. You're doing it all at once? I just work here. The almonds, are they salted? Yeah. Oh, good. But I can only have like 15 of them. I thought they were supposed to be raw, unsalted. It doesn't have to be perfect. Oh, my gosh. I'm not eating Pop-Tarts or brown sugar oatmeal. I know you're not, but you're already going off the peanut butter. It's a modification. Jamie cut his turkey. In little bite-sized pieces. She's a good woman. Bite-sized. She's a great woman. Woods does not like to be told what to do, even when it's P90X telling him. I'm still going to do things my own way. Even if it's a dude on P90X going, eat raw almonds with no salt on them, blah, blah, blah. See, that's what I said.

1:45:16That's what I said yesterday in the store, and Jamie goes, no, it's okay if they're salted. She did all the research. She's planning the stuff. I just eat what's put in front of me. You know that. All right. I'm a follower. You know what we did this weekend? We flew my brother into town. He does the most amazing videos slash movies. Yep. And he filmed us doing movie parodies. Some skits. Some skits. By skits, you mean singular? No, skit. We did two. Oh, we did do two. And we're going to do more. He's coming back. We'll do some more. But he'll be done editing these, I believe, by Wednesday. We'll have them up on MikeyShow.com. And we'll also put them out on YouTube. This weekend we did two movie parodies. We did Blair Witch Project and... Footloose. Woodsy's fave. I was explaining them to people without any visual, and they were cracking up. It's hysterical. They're great. I think they're hilarious. And the one idea that Rebecca had that we didn't get to, hopefully we will. Yeah. When I got home from our shoot, Footloose was on. No way. Oh, yeah. And I got to show Jamie exactly what we did. She was dying. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's funny. Every M1 will be able to see these within a few days. It's going to be great.

1:46:37They're hysterical. Yeah, they are. What? If we do say so ourselves. I told you to do those forever ago. Did you? Yeah, I did. When I started working here, I said y'all should do more stuff on the internets. Internets? Yeah, I said it the first week. I said y'all ought to get on the internets way more than you are. What about just one internet? Listen, blonde. Blonde. Blonde ambition. Are you even allowed to use the internet without parental controls? You're making that joke because I live with mama. Yeah. Mama doesn't tell the kid what to do. Doesn't she though? That's my line. Listen, mama doesn't watch what I watch on the internets. If she did, trust me, she would blush. Don't tempt her. How come y'all aren't doing the skits I told you to do? We're doing skits. We just did them. Yeah, we just did. That's skits that you're going to put on YouTubes, but what about the other stuff? Well, you wanted us to do like Milo and Otis and stuff like that. Yeah, how come you haven't done it? It's not funny. It is funny. You want some mama so fat jokes? You know we do. Your mama's so fat that the shadow of her butt weighs 50 pounds. Stupid. You like the horn? I like the horn. Oh, no.

1:47:57Your mama's so fat her lipstick comes in a spray can. That's wrong. Your mama's so fat. Your mama's so fat her skates went flat. Oh, my God. I'm not getting it. The roller skates. Oh, roller skates. It's funny, right? Yeah. That is funny. I didn't get it. You know, Woods, if I got to explain the dang thing. I know. I'm sorry. I took the air right out of your joke. I'm trying to tell you the ding-dang thing, and I'm having to explain it to you. That don't work, man. That's true. Your mom is so fat. When her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up. People have beepers? Yeah. All right. Well, I wrote that joke initially in 1980. Still has legs.

1:48:56Unlike Mikey, you can barely see him. Whoa. Now you're going to come after me? Yep. Tiny little legs. Your mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate. She got blueprints. That's so wrong. Your mama's so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard. That's a good one, right? That's pretty good. How come you guys don't have black guys in here or something, man? Ask L.O.B. Tell me about it. That's what I'm saying. You know, y'all need, you got your Mexican, but you got to have more ethnicity. I've been telling Garrett forever, play the hip hop, get the Yo Mama jokes on. You go even higher than you already are and you're already number one. You always got to strive for higher than that. What's better than number one? Number one plus. One plus. You got to be one plus. One with a bullet. That's right. You got to crank it up to 11 like that band. That's right. Spinal tap. That's right. Y'all, you got to just trust Hoyle more. It's like the horn. When I first introduced it to you, everybody was resistant, right? Yeah, we still are. I told y'all when you go to appearances, you should wear clocks around your necks. Flav, Flav. Y'all haven't taken me up on that yet, either. Y'all got to figure it out. Oh, yeah. Come on, baby.

1:50:26Woods of Wisdom, you can call in right now, 570-1949. If you want to do that. Eating up some turkey real good. My favorite part is hearing the chewing on the microphone. I really like that. Yeah, it's a roast today. You guys are just going to sit here and roast me up real good? I'm on a diet, guys. I can eat every two minutes. Oh, wow. He just put a softball-sized cluster of turkey in his mouth at one time. Wow. How are you liking what you're eating today? Delicious. P90X. It's good. Got a little extra on your lip there, buddy. Wood's just thinking of it like a part-time job, he said. He has to spend an hour with the weights and the whole P90X thing. He says, like a part-time job for 90 days. Starting a diet is the worst the first week because it's always on your mind.

1:51:26You have to get used to it. Don't think of it like a diet, Woods. Think of it like a livet. A livet? Like a what? It ain't a diet. It's a livet. It's a livet. That's right. Oh, I get it. Got to get in the right frame of mind. That's how I lost my 20 pounds when I first did Jenny Craig. You did Jenny Craig? Yeah, I did. You belong to Curves, too? I used to go to Curves. I was the first guy to ever sue because I wasn't able to work out there, and I sued for discrimination. Curves. And I was the first guy to get to work out at Curves. Now, I had to wear a leotard, and I used to have to do jazzercise with the jazz hands, but I did it. All I cared about was the quality. Shut up, Hoyle. Yeah. It's the only place his mom would take him. You know, why don't y'all get over the fact that I'm so close to my mom? Very close. We're friends. You live with her. You guys are roommates. Roommates. That's right. And y'all just seem to pick at it and pick at it and pick at it. It's a little odd. The girls don't seem to care. I got them coming out my black book like nobody's business. Yeah, right. Last girl you talked to on the phone, what was her name? Ronnie. Ronnie? Ronnie. Ronnie with an I. Ronnie with an I. That doesn't make sense.

1:52:45I don't know a girl named Ronnie. Ronald? There's a girl in the Eddie Money song. Her name's Ronnie. See? Is that her? Ronnie. Eddie Money. What was that? 80s? That song? Take Me Home Tonight? Let me tell you, Sienna. Yeah. I have to buy my condoms at Costco. Oh, wow. You know why? Whoa. Bulk. Hoyle. Wow. We didn't need to know that. I'm just saying. Hoyle's knocking boots. Yeah. Little boots. I'm popular with the women. Oh, my goodness. What do you think they love the most about you? My hair. And your voice. I just got told that last night. Yeah? Girl was putting her hands through my hair. She said, you have the silkiest, sexiest hair ever. What do you use? What did it sound like when she said that? What did it sound like? Yeah. Didn't she say something about your hair? You have beautiful hair. You have beautiful hair? I have an audio clip of her telling me how much she loved my hair. Yeah, beautiful hair. That's not what she sounded like, huh? Sounds like a real peach. It's Ronnie. She said it like this. She goes, huh? You have the sexiest hair. Sounds like how my mama talks. Stop it, Woods. Gotta make everything so gross, man. There's your first shut up, Hoyle. I know. He's on one today. Here's your first email for Woods of Wisdom. Woods literally... By the way, I got this and laughed out loud. I can't wait.

1:54:11Woods, literally everyone I know thinks I'm gay. I'm not. I would admit it if I was. My parents or friends wouldn't care. I'm just not. Someone said this? What are ways I can be more manly without overcompensating M1 Steve? Poor guy. What do you got? What are the odds? Dude. What are the odds? His name is really Steve. Let me tell you something. I read this and I go, babe. Get in here. I don't know what you say. I don't know what to do. Make out with some girls. You want me to read it again? No. I think that I'm at a loss. I'm really at a loss. I have a friend that we kind of thought was for years. Yeah. And, you know, he denied, denied, denied. I'm kind of still waiting because he's like the only one that's not married. But you questioned him on it? Yeah. But you guys. But I wouldn't care. Wait, wait, wait. I wouldn't care. But nobody wants to hear that if they're not. But wait a minute. If everybody thinks that you're gay. Aren't you? Maybe you're just a little bit feminine. Flamboyant. Listen, I'm as metro as they come. But you're not feminine. Yeah, see. You're feminine hands. We really have to.

1:55:36Woodsy's the one that moisturizes his hands. Woodsy, here's what I want you to do. I want you to think about it. I've got to think about this one for a minute. Think about it. And when we come back, you give your advice on it. All right? We'll be back. Woodsy will give that. And you can call us, 570-1949. And I've got more Woods of Wisdom questions, so we'll do it when we come in. This is the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar. This Thursday night, who are you going to go see? MGMT at the Open Air Theater or Tool at Vieja Serena? You can see Mixmaster Mike. He's the Beastie Boys DJ, you know. He's doing a DJ set at Flux downtown. That's on the 22nd. Pindak will play after the last race at the Del Mar Racetrack with FM. Hold on. That's on the 23rd.

1:56:40The Temper Trapper at House of Blues, August 4th. Silverson Pickups Play Soma, August 7th. And you can catch the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, August 29th at Oceanside Pier. IndependenceJam.com for all the details about that one and to buy your tickets. So there you have it. Get out there and see some shows. The FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar can be heard four times daily. For more concert info, check out the FM 94.9 Bud Light Concert Calendar at FM949SD.com. Whoa, check it out. It's the ultimate turkey and bacon avocado sub. New at Subway. Way cool. Get ready for the tastiest ride of your life. Wipe out in wave after wave of totally tender turkey and crisp, gnarly bacon. Long, lean, and sizzling hot. Whoa, gaze upon the red rainbow of voluminous veggies and frothy mounds of cool sea green avocado.

1:57:39This pipeline of flavorosity lies on a golden strand of the freshly baked bread. Mondo delicious, man. Are you up for the ultimate? Then you have got to try the totally new Subway Ultimate Turkey and Bacon Avocado Sub. The ultimate taste. The ultimate flavor. The ultimate everything. Carve one up today. Crank up the flavor. Subway. Eat fresh. For a limited time at participating restaurants. We all have our own reasons for saving. Whether it's college for our kids, remodeling the kitchen, or the annual road trip to see Aunt Mildred. It feels good to work our way toward our goals, bit by bit, dollar by dollar. But sometimes it's hard to keep the momentum going when we don't have a set plan. That's why at Wells Fargo, we're with you when you need help saving for something important. With My Savings Plan, an online tool that comes free with a savings account, you can set savings goals and track your progress online. It's a free and easy way for you to start saving for the things that are really important.

1:58:41We'll even give you expert tips and guidance based on what you're saving for. Let's get started today. And Mildred is expecting you. At Wells Fargo, we're with you in more ways to help you stay connected with your money, on top of your finances, and on track toward reaching your goals. Call, click, or stop by Wells Fargo today and talk with your banker about my savings plan. Wells Fargo. Together, we'll go far. Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., member FDIC. With AT&T high-speed internet, you can connect at blazing fast speed. Boom, I'm checking out a live feed of the news. Fast, right? See, home high-speed internet from AT&T has blazing fast speed, so it's easy to download funny videos, like this dog on a unicycle. Or just as quickly, I can do a little social networking. Nisa is craving a slice of pizza. Nisa got these cool glasses on sale. And high-speed internet from AT&T also includes access to the nation's largest Wi-Fi network at no extra charge. Hey, can you guys keep it down? Rude. You're the one with all the browser windows open, mister. Get the all-new high-speed internet from AT&T with speeds up to 24 megabits per second with AT&T U-Verse. Call 1-800-PICK-ATT or visit att.com slash HSI. Geographic and service restrictions apply to U-Verse services. Call or go to uverse.att.com to see if you qualify. Speeds of 12 megabits per second or greater are only available with U-Verse high-speed internet. 24 megabits per second downstream is now available in some markets and coming to all markets by summer 2010. Internet speed not guaranteed. Many factors can affect actual speeds, including use of other U-Verse services. I don't know. Maybe you're one of those individuals who doesn't want to save me.

2:00:09money on car insurance maybe you're an alien from another planet maybe on your world the words saving and money have no meaning well i feel sorry for you but around here if you want to save money on car insurance you switch to geico just like four million humans switched to geico last year welcome to planet earth For a free rate quote, visit GEICO.com or call 1-800-947-AUTO. 15 minutes could save you hundreds on car insurance. Everybody and their brother, sisters, and second cousins are saying they can save you money on car insurance. Well, who listens to brothers, sisters, and second cousins? GEICO's been saving people money on car insurance for over 70 years. That's longer than most companies have been around. That's probably longer than you've been around. Believe me, when it comes to saving you money, this isn't GEICO's first time to the rodeo. For a free rate quote, visit GEICO.com or call 1-800-947-AUTO. 15 minutes could save you hundreds on car insurance. Check out the new Echo Village page at FM949SD.com for all types of useful, eco-friendly information. You can read stories and check out businesses having a positive impact on our community and our planet.

2:01:18by Think Blue San Diego. This report is brought to you by Centrum Ultra Women, scientifically advanced and specially formulated multivitamins just for women. Centrum Ultra Women's, the most complete multivitamin for women. On the 5 northbound before Las Flores Drive, watch out. Trash cans, a couple of them in the two left lanes. They're causing some delay. On the 805 northbound at the 5, we've got a tire that's in the fast lane. Cars are swerving to avoid this tire. Be very careful as you approach there. That's the 805 northbound at the 5. like the eight eastbound between the 125 and the five just starting to bunch up a little bit this report also brought to you by walgreens walgreens brand over-the-counter medications are 100 quality guaranteed so you can trust every package with the walgreens name walgreens there's a way to stay well i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 kbct san diego looking financial radio station now back to the mikey show with mikey my name is mikey

2:02:15And I did not graduate from high school. Lauren. I have to admit, I like party in the USA. Woods. I don't like being alone. I don't like going places alone. Ziena. I like Nickelback. And Jay. I'm so tired. On FM 94.9. So, Woodsy, M1 Steve writes in and says, Literally everyone I know thinks I'm gay. I'm not. I would admit it if I was. My parents or friends wouldn't care. I'm just not. What are ways I can be more manly without overcompensating? M1 Steve. Well, I mean, dude, you're, as a grown man, you're not going to really change who you are and how you act and how you dress. I mean, he's obviously, this is a guy I would really love to meet. Yeah, because. I want to hear him. I want to see him. Well, you know. Spend some time with him. I want to hold him. I want to hold, I want to make love to him maybe. Spoon him. I mean, if people think he's gay, it's probably not because he's like, hey, how are you? I know. Well, maybe he's.

2:03:35A little bit feminine. Yeah, he's probably a little bit feminine. And you are who you are. You've grown into that body and that voice and that, you know, that boa around your neck. Yeah. Standing on a float. Now, what's making them think that he's gay? That's what you have to... Maybe he hasn't been in any relationships or something. That could be it, too. That or he could be feminine. But either way, those people should just F off. Whoa. That's pretty... You're right? That's pretty heavy. She's very passionate about it. Wow. Okay, well, you know, maybe do that. Leave him alone. LLB just took a flamethrower out of her pocket. I believe someone would come up and say that. It's kind of something that you can't say out loud. You just can think it. Sexuality is such a... vulnerable subject for anyone. So it's like, whether he is or he's not, to even, like, you know, badger him about that. Can you imagine telling your friend, you're like, hey, dude, just come out, man. You're like, I'm not gay. I'm not gay. Yeah. That would be awful. This poor guy, like, what if he meets Mrs. Wright and she loves him no matter what, but, like, in the back of her mind, she's going to be like, he's going to leave me for another dude one day. No. She's going to start thinking about it. By the way.

2:05:07M1 Joah is on the line from Solana Beach. She's 10 and has a Yo Mama So Fat joke for Hoyle. Oh, nice. I probably heard it, but go ahead. Okay. Yo Mama So Fat, she has to go to SeaWorld to get baptized. Is she going to where? She has to go to SeaWorld. I heard that one. It's a good one. I heard that one. Your mom is so fat, she's going to SeaWorld to get baptized. I love it. That's because she's so fat, they got the tanks there to fit her. Yep. Yeah, you don't have to explain it, Hoyle. We got it. I think we got it, Hoyle. I think we get it. Thank you, Joe. Great job, Joe. Appreciate it. That was funny. Call in if you want to ask Woods. He will answer anything relationship, guy-wise, or whatever. Woodsy, I hate going to the mall, but I like looking good. What's your go-to jeans M1 Mylar? Diesel, Joe's. Sevens. I only have one pair of sevens. Rockin' Republic? Rockin' Republic. My brother gave me some sevens, and they're a little hip-huggy. They're a little weird. I have one pair, and I'm like, wow, I don't really know. Low-rise? I don't know. I kind of get the crease. But my go-tos are diesel. Yeah. That's what I'm wearing right now.

2:06:22My favorite pair of jeans are diesel, too, but they get holes in them. Bro, see, I was about to say the opposite. You know what makes your fins think you're gay? When you're wearing designer jeans. What do you wear, Wranglers? No, I don't wear Wranglers, but I don't wear Lee. You wear Lee jeans? What do you wear? You wear, like, DC or something that's not a name. DC's a designer, pal. DC's not a designer. I realize that they are... a surf and skate thing, but they are a designer. When I bought Quicksilver shorts, they were $50, dude. $50 for Quicksilver. That's not designer, that's name brand. That's a designer. No, you have a buyer go out and get that stuff. A designer takes and designs. Well, I don't buy mine at the Diesel store. I get them at Nordstrom's or whatever. How about this one? Those are designer. Hey, bro, those are designer stuff you're wearing. Guys, you don't need to buy designer jeans to look good. You can wear Levi's and I'm on board. Just get some diesels. You'll be fine. Oh, no. When I was in high school, 501s were the... 100. Yeah, 92. Okay, the test for any one of jeans is, how does a butt look? Yeah. That is the test. Don't worry about the label. I like them. Yeah? I'm in trouble then. Woodsy.

2:07:38I don't want to make this email too long, so I'll try to explain this briefly. I liked this girl, Angie, for a long time. I've been trying to close this deal for three months. So last weekend at my friend's place, we finally hooked up. Dude, she's the weirdest kisser I've ever kissed. It's like she's trying to catch flies. Oh, God. I almost instantly didn't like her anymore, but I do like her. What do you do? It's not a fit, bro. The chemistry is not there. Kissing is a big deal. It's a big deal. Big deal. Big, big deal. Number one. Maybe you play the immature bit and you coach her. Oh. You know, I've coached some ladies on some things, but never on kissing before, dude. That's usually the first step in the process, man. If you can't get past that, you're in trouble. Maybe he's the bad kisser. Maybe he's the bad kisser. Yeah, you never know.

2:08:34Doesn't mean she's bad. It means she's not a compatible kiss. Maybe he's the weird kisser. He could be. Some girls are all teeth. Yeah. Some guys are all tongue. Absolutely. And it's like, bye, Mikey. The strong kiss. It's like just gentle. Just take it easy. Just real nice and soft. Come on now. Listen, lady. Listen, lady. No means no. All right? This is my body. It belongs to me. Assaulting my mouth. Stop assaulting my mouth. He said it there. He's like, hey, I instantly didn't like her anymore. I mean, that's a big, big deal, man. It is. Especially if you like a girl forever. You finally. How do you tell her? You realize that she shouldn't have been on a pedestal this whole time. How do you tell her? Couldn't you say? You know, jovial, fun, like not serious. In a jovial, fun way, you go, hey, hey, take it easy, will you? No! You're about to arrest me? No, you have to just like pull away and then come back soft and pull away a little bit. Or somebody might like her style, so just let somebody else have her. I coached once. You come! What? You did? I'm kissing? I need to know. I need to know. That's mean.

2:09:51Listen, is this a safe treat or is this not a safe treat? It's not. Cold for you. Because I got coached once when I was like 10. I was 7. Is it better? When you were 10. My first kiss ever. See, so she's projecting on me. She's like, you're the monster. She said, you're not supposed to move your jaw around like they do in the movies. That was my first kiss ever. How old were you? I don't know. Spin the bottle. I was like 6th or 7th grade. Holy crap. You're not supposed to move your jaw around. I was older than that. Woods is moving his jaw all over the place. Woods looked like a piranha. He looked like a piranha. Put your tongue in your mouth and stop moving your jaw. That's probably what I look like. That was so disturbing. I learned how to kiss from watching Dallas. Yeah, see, I would watch movies. Watching the show Dallas. It was my first time ever. I was already so nervous. And he goes, you know. You know. He gave you the bit. He was like very experienced. I was a big prude. He was very experienced. It was horrible. But then you learned. Oh, yeah. It was a good thing that he did it. You learned the hard way, though, didn't you? But you learned. But that young. But you don't tell someone. I mean. An adult. An adult. Angie.

2:11:04Frenching lessons. Well, you know. She's made it this far. Obviously, somebody out there likes it. I'd say give her a couple more. I'll try to close the deal first and then maybe. I don't know. You know, try to close the deal. Make it right. Say to her, you know what? I want to save our friendship. We shouldn't take this any farther. Or maybe we just don't kiss. Because girls can't see right through that line. Oh, that is. Oh, that's bad. The Mikey Show is myself, Woods, Lauren, Sienna, and Jay. By the way, I want to remind you tonight on FM 94.9, the 8 o'clock album is free energy, stuck on nothing. If you have any questions for Woods, you can call 570-1949. Tell everybody about the girl, Sienna, that doesn't want to go to the reunion. Oh, my God. Todd was telling me this yesterday. One of his friends is about to have his 20th high school reunion. One of Todd's friends. Yes, I graduated like a couple of years ago. That's 100% true. But he called Todd because he wanted to know Todd's opinion because this guy, we'll say his name is Jeff. Jeff has a wife that's pregnant too. She's about the same as me. I think I'm a little farther along. I think she's six months. But his 20th high school reunion is coming up in Chicago. And so they were going to go together. And I guess she has not been wanting to go at all.

2:12:27But she was going to go and taking one for the team and going to go pregnant because like the last thing I want to do is go meet, you know, people from high school that Todd went to high school with looking the way I do. Like, you just don't want to do that. So I understand where she's coming from. But then I guess I guess she like freaked out on her husband because she went on his Facebook page and some girl he went to high school with said, what was it? Team. T-minus three weeks, like in all caps and exclamations, talking about the reunion. Well, what if they're friends? Well, they could be. But I guess his wife. I was all chubby in high school. All I had was girlfriends. Well, I don't know. Seriously, it's the truth. I'm a bunch of girlfriends. I didn't make girlfriends. And I'm hearing this. Maybe he was a chubby guy. I'm hearing this from Todd, who's laughing about it after he gets off the phone with his buddy. And I guess Jeff was like, you know, my wife's furious now. And not only now does she not want to go because she doesn't want to see this girl. She doesn't feel good. She's pregnant, you know. But now she's saying I can't go because she's insecure of who this girl is. And she doesn't want me going by myself. And I'm like, well, you know, I kind of see where she's coming from. Really?

2:13:37I mean, it sucks because it's his 20th high school year and it's a big deal. But, like, I don't know. Well, I would try to talk my wife into going. Does that all make sense to you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if she was unwavering? Would you guys be like, okay, it's Team Esparza, it's Team Woods. If she doesn't go, I don't go. Yeah, eventually. Or do you think you'd be like, that's way too selfish. Yeah, this guy's bumped. He's like, I want to go. Yeah, the truth is it is. At some point, you know, you got to make the decision. What's more important to you? Right. You got to bite the bullet. People you haven't seen in 20 years. Here's what I think in marriage. In marriage, and someone, maybe my dad had said this. You got to think about marriage like a marathon. It is not a sprint. It is a marathon. And along the way in this marathon, you're going to need to get drinks of water. Okay. And yet another way to think about it is, is that. You've heard the phrase, you lose the battle and you win the war. Yeah. I got a good one for you too. What? Marriage is, it's a give and take, but mostly give. Oh, I got it. How about this one? Somebody. You mull on that for a while. I got to find this one from you. Somebody wrote this to me and I go, I'm actually going to write that down and I'm going to save it. We got to take some calls. 570-1949.

2:15:06We'll take calls on it. So basically, it's like, is the pregnant wife being selfish? Yes. You know, and kind of. She is. You know, or does she have a point? Because, you know, she can't, you know, she doesn't feel comfortable going. She can go. She's being a little bit selfish, but she gets a pass due to her condition. Like, I just, like, and Todd was telling me this to see, I think, what I would have said, too, because I'm in the same situation. And I would, I don't think I would want to go, but I don't know if I would say, Todd, you can't go. And Todd's 20 years probably right around the corner, isn't it? It already passed. It already passed. My philosophy. Sorry, babe. My philosophy is I don't think you should ever tell your spouse what to do. Right. Yeah. You tell them how you feel, but you don't tell them what to do. It's always okay to have feelings about whatever. You just can't rub those feelings all over somebody's face. Is it rubbing feelings to say, it would upset me if you go? Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I mean, no, no. You're telling somebody how you feel. You're telling somebody how you feel. You say it would upset me. If you went, it would upset me. But think of the Facebook thing, too. She saw that from some other girl, and it's like, you know they're going to go. I mean, I doubt he's going to hook up with her or anything like that. But it's just like, man, I'm here. I'm pregnant. I can't drink. I can't have fun. You're going to go get wild at this party. So go with them. I think you've got to ask yourself this, too.

2:16:27Before you make a statement to somebody about how you feel, you got to ask what you're, if what you're saying is, has the spirit of, is it about manipulation? No. I'm going to try to manipulate your behavior and I'll say this. It mostly just needs to be how you feel. I feel, you just tell them how you feel. Listen to this though. Here's that line. Somebody said their dad told them this one time and I actually wrote it in an email, sent it to myself and saved it. Serve each other first and your needs will always be met. Serve each other first. Or serve the other first. Yeah. Sorry. Serve the other first and your needs will always be met. Because they'll be serving you too. Yeah, fair enough. Because you find that when you do that, when you do that and you do that, that it just has a habit of working out that way. But don't you think also that even if he just was like...

2:17:26Babe, I'm going. Like, you don't understand how much this means to me. Like, this guy's excited about it when he should be. You know? And I think by the time he gets back, there may be, like, a day of her, like, and pouting. But then it would pass. And that way he got to go. They're married. It's the beauty of marriage. You know what I mean? Where are you going to go? What are you going to do? Yeah. She can hold it over his head. That's not fun. She probably will. She probably will. And it's in another state, too. So it's like, man, he doesn't get to see these people. Yeah, I think you got to. He just needs to weigh it out. What does it mean to him to see these people and what does it mean to upset his wife? I think his wife's upset about the girl. Obviously, that's the big bone of contention. Yeah, well, she didn't want to go before. The girl saying T minus three weeks. I wonder what that's. I'm going to slay you at the Hampton Inn. If a girl said that on mine that I went to high school with, trust me, it would be meaningless. It wouldn't be about romance. But how would it feel for Rebecca to see that? All I'd have to do is explain. Hey, honey. We were in Home Ec. Yeah, we were in Home Ec. I was Jabba the Hutt. They used to feed me. Yeah, but what about you now? You're a big successful radio star. She don't know me as that, sweetheart. She sees you on Facebook. She don't know me as that. She remembers having the chain around my neck and Princess Leia playing in front of me. She remembers Little Boots Esparza. She obviously remembers you and is excited to see you.

2:18:53And you, yeah. She remembers me going, feed me. Okay. You guys hear that Latoya Jackson said that her brother Michael was trying to teach Bubbles how to speak English. Bubbles? Bubbles. Bubbles the chimp. The chimpanzee. To the point where she actually wanted to get Bubbles like medically altered, Sienna. Yeah. He wanted to give him vocal cords and he asked doctors about it, you know, if there was an operation and what the doctor's thoughts were. And apparently Bubbles only mustered up, you know, the occasional bark or grunt. He's a chimpanzee. He's a chimpanzee. But Michael, Michael spent thousands of dollars in research to do this. Thousands. I wonder when he went off the reservation. I wonder when the day was. That it went. It just went south. Yeah. For that guy. What did that phone call sound like?

2:19:53Hi, I'm calling because I would like to see if you could do something very special for me. Sure, I'd be happy to help. I have a chimpanzee, and I was wondering if you could perform surgery on my chimpanzee that will allow him to be able to speak English. Hello? Yeah, I'm here. Yes, I'm wondering if you could do that for me. Yeah, I heard you. I'm actually, I don't operate on chimpanzees, sir. I'm actually an oncologist. It's all right if you're on call or if you're working. It doesn't matter to me. No, no, no. I'm an oncologist. I understand that. But whether or not you're on call or working is of little matter to me. I need this operation done on my chimpanzee later this afternoon. Hello? Hang on a second. I have to sneeze. Excuse me. Excuse me, ma'am. I think you may want a different type of physician. I'm not a woman. I'm a man. Aren't you? Are you? I am. And I need the operation done later today so that by this evening, when we go out to dinner or we have dinner in the parlor, he'll be able to speak with me. Yeah, that's not going to happen. What's the matter with you? Why are you? Is this Michael Jackson, by the way? No, it isn't. Who is this?

2:21:30My name is Bernard Bernard. Bernard Bernard? Yes. I get that all the time. Listen, if you're... Look, lady. Hey, listen, lady. I can't operate on... I don't want you to do it anymore. Okay, good. Because you're... All you are is an on-call. Yeah, okay. Thanks, lady. Goodbye. All right, bye. Bernard Bernard. Bernard Bernard. Oh, boy. Yeah, Bernard Bernard is the new character. Maybe that should be your nephew. Hello, this is Bernard Bernard. This is so dumb. Hey, why is EBW pacing out in the hallway? You know why. Did you promise her something, Mike? I didn't promise her anything. Eskimo Blue Water's local musician. She looks more uptight than normal. We'll take a little time out. When we come back, we'll see what EBW is up to. Eskimo Blue Waters. Water. Is divorce contagious? We'll explain. People are going to like this. The Mikey Show. It's a good time.

2:23:01You know what I mean? Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The countdown is on. I already got my ticket. For the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite and Scion. August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater. On the main stage, Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. And a buck of the 30 goes to the About the Music Fund, which helps support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. August 29th, the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion, supported by Wahoo's Fish Tacos.

2:24:10All across the country, there's a real buzz about Ovation hair care products. You've heard about Ovation on radio or television, but the real stories come from friends telling friends how they've repaired the damage from heat styling, harsh chemicals, extensions, and how they've stopped breakage and hair loss due to stress and diet. If Ovation didn't live up to its promise of thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair, people wouldn't be talking about it. And they are. I've always had problems with slow hair growth. Since using Ovation, I can tell a significant difference in the length and health of my hair. There's a big difference in the amount of hair loss, too. Ovation has definitely lived up to its promise. For thicker, stronger, longer, and healthier hair, log on to OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 at checkout for a special discount. OvationHair.com and enter FM94.9 for your special discount. If Ovation didn't live up to its promises, people wouldn't be talking about it. And they are. OvationHair.com. Hear that? That's the sound of recovery. Of small businesses beginning to grow again. And at Chase, we're doing our part to help. We've committed $10 billion to small business lending. We're making loans more affordable with our lowest rates in years. And now we've designed the only loan that actually rewards you for hiring employees. Introducing the loan for hire only from Chase.

2:25:31Hire a new employee, get a lower rate. When your small business is approved for a new loan, you get an immediate half-point rate discount for each new employee you hire, up to three employees. And if your business checking is also with Chase, you'll get another half-point on top of that. That's as much as 2% off our lowest rates in years, which could save you thousands of dollars. It's the Loan for Hire, only from Chase. The only loan designed to reward you for growing your business. Visit a branch or go to chase.com slash loanforhire for details. Chase what matters. Some restrictions, requirements, and fees may apply. Offer expires 12-31-2010. All lines of credit are subject to approval. Not valid in combination with any other lending offer. JPMorgan Chase McKinney. Member FDIC. Equal opportunity lender. This is the life. You got that right. I can't believe we're the only two mammoths at the mud pit. Yeah. It's like a graveyard around here. You know. I don't remember this mud being quite so deep and black and sticky. And that smell, that smell. What is that smell? It's like, oh, it's molten tar. Yeah, it's like it's some kind of a pit of tar. Like a tar pit. Wouldn't that be funny if we just walked right into a tar pit? Don't you agree, Phil? Phil?

2:26:57After 12,000 years, they're finally back. Elephant Odyssey at the San Diego Zoo. Oh, I could stay here forever. The index finger. Finger numero uno. While the ring finger has sentimental value and the middle finger a sense of bravado, the pointer runs the show. Just put the Palm Pre or the Palm Pixie in your hand and you'll see what we mean. With Palm's ability to run multiple open apps at the same time, the trigger finger can easily swipe between email, text, music, and Facebook. So go ahead and let your pointer dance over the touchscreen. Get the Palm Pre and the Palm Pixie. Now available at AT&T, Verizon, and Sprint. Within wireless coverage area only. Required data plan not included. This report is brought to you by Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Las Vegas. Start the summer ride at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. Book your summer fling package today with rooms from $90 at mandalaybay.com. The 5 northbound at Washington Street, watch out, there's pieces of metal in the two left lanes. Also, the 15 northbound before Arrow Drive, we've got a car that's stuck in the number three lane. Things starting to back up behind them. And as you head through La Mesa on the 8 eastbound, between the 120 and the 5, traffic's starting to build in the area. This report, it's brought to you by your local REMAX office. If you're looking to buy or sell a home, having the right agent is more important than ever. REMAX agents know their markets. They care enough to get to know you, too. Outstanding.

2:28:20Agents, outstanding results. I'm Stacey Cohen, FM 94.9. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't want to cry. I don't want movies that make me cry. Lauren. I'm so scared of authority, so I start crying. Woods. I haven't moisturized in days. Dying. Sienna. I'm a big girl now. Got married, having a baby. Now I can rent a car. Yeah, like long, soft kisses. Whatever. On FM 94.9. Great one. Girls, you make the rockin' world go round. Oh, yeah. That's good, right? I love that. That's how the... You know what? That song starts the movie Super Size Me. A little irony. That movie is so disturbing. Mm-hmm. It's a good movie. Fat Bottom Girls. Fat Bottom Girls. Welcome back. Is divorce contagious? News first.

2:29:32Big right now is, I'm sure you guys have heard about this case in Iran, this woman who faces the possibility of execution by stoning. You know how they do that, by the way? They bury them up to their chest. Shut up. Oh, my gosh. Well, she was convicted of adultery in 2006, and this has turned into a huge international story. Human rights activists freaking out, saying, you know, the sentence needs to be changed. So Iran's judiciary chief has temporarily paused, stopped the execution for this woman. You guys have no idea how unprecedented that is. Crazy. Yes. Yeah. And I've been reading about it for a while. It's unprecedented. that they were able to get them to stop. Here's what a judiciary official has said. Although the verdict still stands and is definite, the execution has been halted on humanitarian grounds from the order of the Honorable Judiciary Chief and will not be implemented at this time. Yeah, basically what they're trying to do is just get her to be hung. It's crazy. A little bit of a lighter note, here in San Diego, local story, the San Diego pedicab drivers, we all see them downtown.

2:30:40They may soon have to make their first stop at the DMV. Most of these kids, they're like foreign, you know, young kids that do it. And they ride around in these pedicabs, the bike cabs, you know, they don't have driver's licenses. And it's caused a lot of accidents and problems, downtown especially. So they're saying, you know, city leaders are pushing legislation that will require them to have a valid California driver's license. I've seen a couple of accidents from that. Yeah, because these are, you know, young foreign students and they don't really know the driving laws here. They just are out there. Yeah. Willy nilly. I mean, people have died in a petty petty cab accidents downtown. Yeah. It's you know, so it's a pretty good thing. But people that. There's people that are, of course, against it as well. They say that, you know, is this going to mean that pretty soon all people that ride bikes are going to need to have a driver's license? No, it isn't. It just means that pedicab drivers are. And you're going to be responsible for passengers and accept payment? Yeah. I'm going to tell you, one thing that will always make me crazy is that's just going to lead to blah, blah, blah, blah. I want to come out of my skin with that argument. Well, you know who doesn't get into accidents? People with licenses. But actually, they do. So it doesn't make a difference.

2:31:50People with licenses get in accidents, do they not? They do. But the pedicab drivers, they're getting paid for their services. They should be able to deliver them appropriately and by the law and know the laws. Cab drivers? They have licenses. I know. Yes. I'm saying people. So what's your argument? My argument is even people with licenses get in accidents. Hang on. Hang on a second. We'll get right to you. EBW is outside. She's beating on the door. She's outside the room. She's outside the studio pointing at her watch. Like, hey. Time. Time. I know. First. Real quick, Mike. Yeah. The Padres finish at the break 51-37, 14 games over 500. All-Star game is tomorrow. Home Run Derby is tonight. Bob Shepard passed away. Yankee legend, legendary broadcaster. And the World Cup is over. Spain won 1-0, their first World Cup title. Is divorce contagious? What does that mean? Well, there's been a new study done by scientists at Harvard, Brown, and UCSD, and they have found that divorce is contagious and spreads through social groups like a virus. Now, I have percentages, too. They say if a close friend, if they're getting a divorce, that turns your divorce rate in your marriage up 75%. I have a good solution. What? Don't get a divorce. Yeah, that is a good solution.

2:33:14I have a good solution. No, I'm saying if the people around you are getting divorces, the solution for you to not get a divorce is don't get a divorce. Now, I only say that because that's a true solution. It's the only reason I say it. My parents are still married 53 years. Hey, guys, did you ever want to get a divorce? Of course we did. How many times? How many times did you guys want to get a divorce? All the time. We wanted to a lot. How come you didn't? Because we just didn't. That's how they stayed married. There's four more statistics here. A person with a divorced sibling was 22% more likely to get a divorce. A person with a divorced co-worker was 55% more likely to get a divorce than someone who works with all married co-workers. Even witnessing a friend of a divorce increases the likelihood of a marriage breaking up by 33%. So if you have a friend, just like a random friend getting a divorce. And couples with children were less likely of being influenced by other couples divorces. I'm working on spending more time with my kids. I'm working on that right now. But it's unfair for me to hear someone say, you know, it's not a good idea to not spend very much time with your kids. And for my response to that to be, how dare you? It's, you know, if you're busy and blah, blah, that's not the proper response. What that is, is hiding from it and being unaccountable.

2:34:34And so if I say don't get a divorce, please don't scream at me and go, how dare you? You're judging me. I'm not judging anybody. I'm just saying my parents haven't gotten a divorce. That's how they stayed married. I think that to stay married is good. It's just it's so easy to get a divorce now. It is. And people think, you know, it's the solution. And that's what's so scary. It's like, you know, getting a marriage certificate and there's so many things that require getting married. But now it's just, I don't know, it's almost easier to get a divorce. If my wife decided to divorce me every time I made her nuts, we'd have been divorced seven times by now. Yeah, exactly. Seven? Seven hundred. Seven hundred. Thousand. Thousand. Seven hundred thousand million. Is that a real number? Every marriage. contemplates that at some point. I mean, it's not normal if you don't. You know what you do? You stick through it and then you're in love again. This is the deal. Ask yourself right now if you're married and the marriage is, you know, rocky, but you have your tiffs, but you're married. You're going to laugh with that person again. You're going to be having a great time somewhere on some beach with that woman or that man.

2:35:56And if you think to yourself, man, what if we would have called it quits when we had wanted to? I mean, I thought of that with Rebecca a million times. I wrote her an email this morning. I really love her. If we had gotten split up all the times that I've thought that we would have wanted to, it would have been a lot. But the best thing that we can do for those boys and for each other is to just wait. Just wait and you... Things blow over. You get better. Yep. It's hard. Every marriage is hard and hard work, the hardest thing ever. But just work through it. You know, try your hardest to work through it. M1 Trooper from Carlsbad. Are you there, Trooper? Yeah, you got it, bud. Go ahead, bro. My question was, is there any stats on repeat offenders when their parents have been divorced? Yes. If your parents have been divorced, you're statistically...

2:36:56more likely to get a divorce. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't, in this article that I have, it doesn't say anything about parents necessarily, but I mean, it says the breakup of a close friends marriage can increase by 75% the likelihood of you getting a divorce. So if it's your parents, it's going to be right around that ballpark. I have not checked this stat for myself, which I should. And so I'll put that caveat out there before I say anything. But I recently heard that in California, the divorce rate is much higher than 50% now. I don't know about much higher. I definitely heard that it's higher. You reported on it. 70%. 70 something. 70. I reported on it. I will say I'm a huge fan of staying married like you, Mikey, but I have met couples that should definitely not stay together. Yeah. Yeah, me too. It's called every couple I've ever met. No. Dude, I'm telling you, every couple that I've ever met has gone through, including you, I'm sure, me, both of us, all of us. What about the people that break the vow, so?

2:37:53That's the only caveat. Infidelity, infidelity. I'm telling you right now, infidelity, all bets are off. What about people with substance problems that just refuse to get over it? Here's my suggestion. If you have substance problems and stuff like that, separate. I say separate. And a lot of times, whenever anybody writes me and they say, my brother, my sister is addicted to something. What do I do? What do I do? Well, first of all, you can't make them stop. But what you can do and what people a lot of times don't do is you can draw real strong boundaries. When you split, the only thing that gets people to stop is pain. The only thing that got me to stop was pain. You don't stop using unless you're experiencing pain. When my dad pulled me over, he said, I won't talk to you. I won't have a relationship with you anymore. You know what I did? puff my chest out. I was like, all right, fine. See ya. And that's what a guy would probably do if the woman said, I'm out of here, blah, blah, blah. He'd probably puff his chest out. And then he starts to realize and sit in the muck of this is who I am. This is what I am. Best case scenario, they work it out and they, you know, come back together. But I say stay separated as long as it takes. Stay separated. Yeah, my sister, her kids were young. He had an abuse problem of some sort of drugs.

2:39:15And she did, they did, they separated and then they could never, he would never get back into the relationship. I mean, he just kind of went cuckoo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, if a guy is cuckoo and, you know, I say stay separated. Right. Until that person gets clean. Right. He's still, I mean, this has been 25 years. Yeah. Still not clean. Yeah. It's. It's tough, but that's my thought on it. Well, I mean, it's like every rule, man. There's exceptions. I think that. I mean, abuse of some person. Yeah, you separate. I mean, both ways. No, you leave. You leave. No, no, you divorce. Yeah, I don't believe that. Mikey. I say you separate and that person has to figure it out, man. They got to get better. It's hard. Dude, if you're about to say you can't change everybody. Dude, I was. Oh, I know. You know, I didn't. ever hit a girl, but that is the worst of the worst. You were, yeah, that's the worst of the worst. Like if my daughter was in a relationship with a guy that beat the crap out of her. Get out. Yeah, divorce. Get out and stay. I would never advocate divorce. I would say I always want to try to reconcile. But you mean like a substance abuse. You want your daughter with a guy that beat the crap out of her. No, I don't. I want a guy, I want my daughter with a guy that was with a guy that beat the crap out of her and changed his life.

2:40:35Oh, no, I wouldn't. That'd be it for me. It's like infidelity for you. That would be my, like, number one. Yeah. If I put his hands on you, you're out. Hey, man, trust me. That's tough. I would want to kill him. Oh, yeah. I would want to kill him. I don't want to be Sonny and the Godfather. Absolutely. Wouldn't you always be scared, though? Yes. Is it worth it if that ever were to come back in him? For me, you judge the tree by its fruit. Does it have fruit? You're walking through the jungle and you see a tree and you go, I don't know what kind of tree that is. What do you think? I think it's an apple tree. No, I think it's a banana tree. Well, let's pull the branch down, push the leaves aside and see. Oh, look, there's actual bananas growing here. Now, something tells me when dude is still beating her around, he don't have any bananas. In fact, he's saying he's a banana tree, but what he actually is, is just a big thorny bush, piece of garbage. Now, if it changes and you see actual change, and I don't mean just a little bit of change. I don't mean. I don't mean that my daughter comes to me and says, hey, dad, he says he's changed. What do you think? Should I go back? I say, no way. You don't go back. You don't go back till we see. What are you done? You got in some counseling. You've been doing that. How long you been going to counseling? You taking some anger management classes. You've been doing this. You've been doing this. You've been there. I'm all for second chances, man. I'm all for second chances and redemption and rehabilitation and rehabilitation in some instances.

2:41:55In some instances. I just don't think you can be black and white with it. I think for Woods, it's a scary thing as a dad, you know, just to even imagine that she's living back with him. And it's like, what if it comes back? And as a father, you're just fearful. Oh, yeah. I mean, I would be too. It's the same thing with substance abuse, though. It could be the same thing. He'd get the belt. He'd get the belt real good from the kid. I'd rent a shed out in the woods for a weekend. Don't even think about that. It's awful. The problem you're going to have in the woods is that there's not a lot of sheds in the woods that are for rent. I will find a rental shed. They don't rent them. They don't rent those. Take a blowtorch. Buy them at Costco. Yeah. You don't put your hands on somebody. Yeah. Medieval, dude. Okay, guys. Let EBW on. She's going to bring the house. Oh, she looks so irritated. I'm sorry. Are you done, Dr. Phil? Yes, I'm done. Oh, gosh. Yes. Sitting here on borrowed time. I know. Are you? Yeah. What do you have to do today? Well, you know what? I have personal appearances to make. Really? For 94.9 today. I could be there now. You're wearing.

2:43:05An FM 94.9 sweatshirt. That's right. I'm trying to represent. But that doesn't mean that you work for FM 94.9. Yeah, I do. I have appearances, personal appearances. We pay you to do personal appearances? No. I pay you guys. It's about the marketing. Eskimo, Eskimo, I'm freaking out right now. There's something I've been dying to tell you guys, and I have to wait for the right time. Yeah. Oh, great. And that time is now, my friends. What is it? I was looking through my brother. I have an older brother, Taylor. Looking through his yearbook, La Jolla High, LJ, Vikings. What did you say, Eskimo? I said, oh boy. Yeah. I noticed a familiar face in the Vikings yearbook when my brother was a freshman. Really? There was a girl. I hate that picture. There was a senior at La Jolla High. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looked a lot like our girl Eskimo. Shut up. And there's more. Would you like to know what her real name is? Please. Please. Would you like to know what her real name is? Would you ask Prince what his real name is? Yes, I would. Come on. Are you comparing yourself with Prince? Okay, Madonna. This is the best. But Cher. This is the... No. What is it? What is it? Judy Douche. Judy.

2:44:29Judy. Wait. Judy Douche. You guys are idiots. It's not douche. It's French. It's douche. It's Judy Douche. Your name is Judy Douche. You're Judy Douche. You're Judy Douche. That's it. You know what? Judy Douche. I don't even know why. Judy Douche. Judy Douche. I said a Judy Douche. Stop it. So you're from La Jolla? Yeah, I'm from La Jolla. She's from La Jolla. Shut up, Woods. Shut up. You sound like Adam Sandler. It's like Adam Sandler. When I was looking through the yearbook, I was like, oh my gosh, Taylor. Do you know who this is? Because it's M1 Animator. He listens. And I said, Eskimo Blue Waters. And he was like, no. I thought you were down on your luck, living out of your Mustang. Yeah. Yeah. I am. Turns out you're from affluence. Okay, first of all, I grew up in La Jolla, but it was on the poor side of La Jolla. Really? Yeah. Really? There is no poor side. Yes, there is. And our nanny and our cook used to yell at us all the time. It was a tough, tough life. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

2:45:50That's ridiculous. You're ridiculous. You're ridiculous. That's not my name anymore. Judy, that sounds awful. It's Duchesne, and that's not my name anymore. Did you legally change it? No, but it's on my CD cover. I see your driver's license. Just because. You wear jeans and cowboy boots and sunglasses with a cowboy hat. And fake smoke cigarettes. Yeah, and fake smoke cigarettes. You don't even smoke. We know it because you gag every time you try to do it, and we're cool. Yeah, yeah. You know what, Mike? Because you layer your necklaces. I don't even know why I come to this clown shop anymore. Because if Garrett hadn't put me under contract, I wouldn't even be here. Garrett did not. Our program manager has never put you under contract. Never. No, but Garrett is. My manager. Yes. And he's 12 and he signs me up for these gigs. He put you under contract. Yeah. Garrett, okay. You're ridiculous. Yeah, ridiculous.

2:46:43Do you still want me to perform or what? Yeah, of course I do. Of course I do. So you did drama. I had probably the same teacher as you and everything. Yeah, Sienna. Well, we all come from humble beginnings, okay? Well, some of us did. Some of us did not. Some of us didn't get yelled at by our cooks. And nannies. They were mean. Yeah. You wrote songs about it and stuff? Yeah, I wrote songs and I had to create an alter ego and I have a dummy now. Wait a minute. Wait a second. What? How much older than you is your brother? He is almost 28. She's 30. Oh, I see what you're saying. She's 32. She was a senior when he was a freshman. So she's 32? She's 32 years old. Eskimo Blue Waters is 32 years old? No. No. Judy. Judy. They're calling me that. Judy. First of all, you're not Judy. Sweet Judy. You guys are not. Taking into account the fact that I was a child prodigy and I was a lot younger. I was 15 when I graduated. I'm not even 30 yet. It's douche. What? It's douche. It's douche. First of all, it's Eskimo. It's Judy. You're Judy Douche. No, I am Eskimo Blue Water, formerly known as Judy Douche. Is there water?

2:48:06My brother says he remembers seeing you around campus. I don't know. I didn't have time. She performed at lunch on the quad. Did she? Yeah, I did. Did you do ventriloquism? No, that's a new bit, Mike. He said that no one watched ever. Sienna. I'm sorry. You weren't there. I'm speaking the truth. You weren't there. Why don't you do something for us now? Well, I brought Peanut in. Yes. Peanut's your dummy. Yeah. Still working on it, huh? Peanut is a hand-hewn dummy. What does that even mean? It means you made the dummy yourself. Oh, yeah. Little drumstick legs here. It's pretty cute. It's got a syringe for an arm. It's the most ghetto dummy I've ever seen in my life. It's built in somebody's garage. Not all of us have cloaks and crowns just laying around, Mike. Don't you? No, I live out of my Mustang. In your parents' driveway. Well, come on. Give us something. Do something with your dummy. Give us some ventriloquism. I let Peanut this time because Peanut was giving me a hard time that I wasn't giving her any creative freedom. Raise the dummy up. She's not saying anything yet. Well, I know, but you keep at her. Hi, Peanut.

2:49:25No, it's not the peanut show. Peanut, you're just getting to... Moving your mouth. Oh, my gosh. See what I have to deal with? Yeah, why don't you practice this every once in a while? In a mirror. Yeah, maybe in a mirror. Well, you got me all nervous with this stupid... Doody-doo. Doody-doo. It's douché. Anyway. Can I... What? Can I look at your driver's license? Would you ever let me do that? No. Why? I want to see your birthday. Because in the driver's license, you know she's not wearing the sunglasses and everything. I've never seen her without the sunglasses. You guys are being really rude. All right. You know what? You're right. Let's hear it. I'm paying for this time. Come on now. I'm paying for this time. Now, I let Peanut have some creative control. Okay. Which means I let her write a song, come up with the beats. Let's hear it. And I'm going to sing it. What is it? It's a Peanut original and it's called Bluffing Face. Oh. Oh, no. He wants to come with me, a full house, him and me. We'll do some bedding, it's a joy, just come and see you like it. A game of chicken's not the same without a car. And honey, when we go, I want to go very far. He'll get me spies, show me what he has. He'll get me spies, show me what he has. Stop.

2:51:09Every time. Stop. Stop. When will you learn? Stop. What? You stop. That's an original? That is a Peanut original. Right, Peanut? It's not. I'm in this show. Holy crap. Eee. Eee. Eee. That was what the paper said. She wrote it. It's Poker Face, Lady Gaga. Yeah. You know that. Actually, I knew that, Mike. What? You knew that, Peanut? What the heck? It's a reveal. I'm sick of this. Being a sidekick. Being a sidekick. Really? You're going to put me on blast like that, Peanut? You're moving your mouth. Wow, really? What was that? You said Poker Face? Yes. Yeah, Poker Face. That's a song that people know. Yes. I know it. It's a Lady Gaga song. Everybody knows it. Oh, my God. Wow, this is really embarrassing, Peanut. Why would you do that? What's more embarrassing, the fact that you're speaking into a puppet made of drumsticks or the fact that we now know that you're 32-year-old Judy Douche from La Jolla? Wow. Really? I'm going to have a talk with Peanut, but oh, my gosh. Do you have any gigs that you're doing this weekend? Well.

2:52:25Yeah, I do. I'm a little depressed about the fair ending now. You can put Peanut down. She's still holding Peanut up. She gets it backwards. Sorry. Every time. Anyway. Bluffing face. Bluffing face. Yeah, I'm going to talk to her about that. Okay. But yeah, I'm excited now that the races are starting out because I'm actually pretty close to a deal to play for the stable attendants at the end of the summer. Oh, wow. So it's not a done deal. It's not done yet. Well, no, not yet. But that could be the entertainment. Yeah. While the guys are doing their nightly rounds and stuff. Cleaning up the poop. The stable attendance. The poop. Before I go, I do have a gig this weekend. Gosh, is it hot in here? No, it's quite comfortable. It's actually not hot in here. It's cold. This weekend I'm playing Kennel 9 at the SPC in San Marcos. I'll be there. Kennel 9. Did the air in here break or something? No, it didn't. It didn't. Oh, gosh. It didn't. Well. 20 bucks, you're not at that SPCA. I'll be there. You will? I'll go check it out. All right. Yeah. That's all I got. All right. Well, thank you, Judy. Thank you. Judy, you're a lot of fun. You're a lot of fun. Thank you. Folks, that's Judy Duchesne. The famous Judy Duchesne. Yes, Duchesne. Thank you, Judy. Amazing. Go out of there, Sienna.

2:53:47That was unexpected. It was phenomenal. I bet you were blown away. Oh, when I saw that picture. It was a picture. It's identical. It was the same Dreamcatcher earrings. Did she have sunglasses on in the picture? No. I saw her eyes. She just looked a lot younger. That's fantastic. I told you. I was 15. Were you? Yeah. I was like Doogie Howser. Am I getting paid for this? Out there on the quad. Go ahead and let yourself out. Yeah. See ya. Don't let the door hit you in the ass. What's in the guitar? Case. That's where Peanut lives. Peanut's house. Peanut's house. Yep. It's her doll. It's not a doll, it's a dummy. You're a dummy? 570-1949. She really got upset about the Judy thing. Yeah. You know. Judy douche. Wow. Best name ever. Debt collectors are now getting desperate and dirty. I'm going to explain what I mean. Just now? No. And you want to play a little MIDI madness? Call us, 570-1949. And we got somebody on hold who wants to ask for some advice about a new roommate. Voice be heard on The Mikey Show now. Call 570-1949 or shoot him a text. 949mikey at gmail.com. This is The Mikey Show on FM 94.9. The kitchen. The kitchen is where food is kept and where food is cooked. So the kitchen is often where you find the people.

2:55:29The kitchen is where you want to be when dinner is being served, but it's where you don't want to be when the dishes are being washed. The kitchen is the only room in the house where open flames and sharp knives are both perfectly acceptable. If you're playing basketball and block someone's shot, you are entitled to shout, get out of my kitchen. And if report cards are getting posted anywhere, they're getting posted in the kitchen. The kitchen is also the place you can watch all your favorite shows. Because with U-verse TV from AT&T, you can record up to four shows at once from any room on a single DVR and play them back on any TV. In any room. Like the bedroom, the family room, the den, the rumpus room, and of course... Have you heard? Proactive is new and better than ever. Stay tuned for a million bottle giveaway announcement. Do you have troubled skin, acne? Well, we have great news. With new Proactive, your acne can heal and you can prevent new breakouts from happening. Be one of the first to try it by giving us a call at 1-800-277-1134. Because we're going to let a million people try new Proactive risk-free and also receive our legendary refining mask and green tea moisturizer free if you call right now.

2:56:52You've heard it. Be one of the first to try new and better than ever proactive solution. You'll receive a 60-day risk-free trial, plus a free refining mask and green tea moisturizer. Call 1-800-277-1134. This is our best radio offer ever. Get your risk-free 60-day trial of new proactive plus two free extras. Show acne who's boss. Be proactive. Call 1-800-277-1134. That's 1-800-277-1134. This is a special alert to all Americans who are behind on their taxes or haven't sent out prior year tax returns. If you owe back taxes, you're now eligible to settle that debt with the IRS for much less than what you owe. For free information, Call National Tax Relief today, 1-800-652-4135. Millions of taxpayers are now legally eligible to settle their tax liability for a fraction of what they owe. Act now on this limited time opportunity or risk wage garnishment, bank levies, outrageous penalties and fees, and property seizure. National Tax Relief partner firms specialize in tax settlements. When you call, you'll be matched with experts who are former IRS agents with insider knowledge of the system, which makes a substantial difference as they resolve your tax debt.

2:58:05Directly with the IRS. Call 1-800-652-4135. There's a limited amount of time that could be available to where the government will accept tax settlements. So you must act now. Call National Tax Relief today. 1-800-652-4135. 1-800-652-4135. You are so hard to read. I am? I just wish you were more like this new Coors Light cold activation window. It's a hole in the box, Rob. It's a window to refreshment. I know the beer is cold before I buy it because I can see the mountains are bleeding. Frost Brewed Coors Light, the world's most refreshing beer. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. With great beer comes great responsibility. This report, it's brought to you by Walgreens. Walgreens brand over-the-counter medications are 100% guaranteed. So you can trust every package with a Walgreens name. Walgreens, there's a way to stay well. On the 15 southbound before the 56, a car that's stuck in the number two lane causing a backup. Also the 5 southbound before Claremont Drive. We do have an accident in the center divider. It looks like a multi-vehicle accident. Three cars. And what else do we have for you here? You know what? Everything else looks like it's flowing pretty good. The 56 westbound between.

2:59:13the 15 and five is good and in la mesa on the eight eastbound between the 125 and the five no issues whatsoever this report brought to you by pickup sticks for a great deal on a freshly walked meal check out the dragon deals value menu at pickup sticks six delicious meals only 4.99 each i'm stacy cohen fm 94.9 KBZT San Diego. Lincoln Financial Radio Station. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I don't like heat. Lauren. I worked at Comic-Con. Woods. I eat Omen Joyce by the truckload, dude. Zienna. Oh, I love the bedazzler. And Jake. I have the worst body hair, I gotta tell you. My ears, I'm getting ear hair. I'm getting old man ear hair. On FM 94.9. Welcome back to the show. It's Mikey Show. I'm Mikey. I'm the host of the program. Woodsy is our sports guy. There's also Lauren. Sienna, and Jay. And today we have Austin on the phones. If you want to call us, 570-1949 is our number. Don't forget, our boy Jared is the greatest graphic design artist ever. My brother was flipping out looking at his work this weekend. Your new business card? Yeah. Have you gotten it yet? Haven't got it yet. Showed the proof, though. Yeah. Insane. Really, really cool.

3:00:59Man, he is just so good, man. He's just so good. And if you would like him to be a graphic design artist for you, he can do business cards for you. He can do websites. He can do whatever you need. Visit his website. It's createyourdesignonline.com. Createyourdesignonline.com. So how are debt collectors getting any dirtier or more desperate than before? As you know, the American consumer is hurting right now, you know, most people. And so debt collectors are harassing more with their phone calls, using abusive language and physical violence is becoming a bigger part of the business as they're, you know, struggling to round up money from people who don't have it. Really? And so, yeah, this is, I mean, complaints of harassment by debt collectors has gone up 50%. Yeah. To over 67,000 complaints just in 2009. If you hang up on a debt collector, I wonder if the debt collector is allowed to call you back. They do. They do? I don't know if they're allowed, but they do now because that's one of the big complaints they have. The number one complaint is repeated calls, and it's not uncommon for collectors to bombard consumers with back-to-back calls for days, weeks, months, even years. I thought that was considered harassment. Harassment.

3:02:19Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. People are calling and saying debt collectors are harassing them. There's a story about a woman in New York. She's 55 years old. She said that a collection agent was calling her home constantly, personally attacking her and her husband. And when she refused to answer the phone, the collector called her estranged sister, an ex-boyfriend, her husband's ex-wife's mother, like anyone connected to her. Wow. Yeah. That's messed up. I guess it's just getting out of control. You know, that doesn't happen. Oh, wow. And debt collectors have started calling people before 8 a.m. and after 9 p.m. Wow. Yeah. Get the hammer. Could you imagine your phone ringing at 6 a.m.? I can't imagine my phone ringing at 9.30 p.m. Yeah. How mad would you be? It sat down for four hours at that time. Yeah. So a lot of people are dealing with this all over the country. And one question mark from Mira Mesa wants some advice. Are you there, question mark? Yeah, I'm here. What's going on? And a little single. And we kind of have a similar story as far as breakups and, you know, just life in general. So we have a lot in common. And we've been having a good time together. We just have a lot of stuff in common as far as outdoor stuff and all that. Female? Yes. I don't know about the whole roommate, you know, getting involved with the roommate and all that stuff with me. Lauren knows somebody got married that way. Yeah. Going to a wedding next month. People, it was actually...

3:03:52A landlord-tenant situation. Who they have to be roommates, too. So that was like J2. Yeah, now, you know me. You know the way I roll. I would not suggest it because that means you instantly are living with somebody before you're married. I believe in waiting until you get married. But, you know, that's one person's advice. Lauren knows somebody that worked out good for them. What Mikey always says, man, fast forward the tape. Yeah. What happens? Yeah, if you fast forward the tape in your head. How do you see it playing out? Move out if it doesn't work out. Oh, that's easy. And fun. Exactly. Well, it's the whole landlord-tenant thing. She's running it for me, so she'd be the one leaving. But I don't want to get to that point. I don't see why it wouldn't work. Would she be the one leaving? Because we just heard about last week. Yep. You'd have to evict. I know plenty of people. I can never do it myself. But they break up and they continue to cohabitate. Oh, my God. Yeah, they made a whole movie about it. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston did not look fun. I had a friend that had a series of roommates, and they were roommates with benefits. That's so strange. So your friend ran a brothel. Yeah. No, no, he just, I don't know how, he was magical. As soon as they would hook it up, he's like, yeah, I'm going to stay home with a roommate tonight. I was like, well, what's going on there? He's like, you know what's going on. And I was like, what? Selection process means. Slick Rick, wow. Yeah, I mean, I think that you are.

3:05:15definitely putting yourself in a compromised position. For sure. Hey, you're rolling the dice, man. And, you know, sometimes you crap out, but sometimes you win, too. Easy question. Is she worth it? Yeah, exactly. If you really like her, you talk it over and you say, maybe she moves out. Oh, Mike. Or maybe she stays right there. How long have you guys been living together? A little bit over a month. And how long have you been feeling this way? About 20 minutes. Right away when she moved in? Pretty much when I started getting to know her and started talking. So maybe like the first week, week and a half. It's real fresh and real new right now. Has there been signs that she feels the same way? A little bit here and there. I think she's kind of cautious also. So, yeah, I don't know. But no physical signs. Yeah, have you guys made out? No, no. There's a little flirtation here and there, but I think we have a line we're drawing right now. We don't want to pass it. We're kind of figuring out, or I'm kind of figuring out, you know. It shows you how creepy I am. I've been sitting here thinking you guys had already done the deed the whole time. I know my friends waited for a while before they crossed that line. At least a week or two. No, I think it was like three months. How awkward is it at the end of the night when you guys are like, all right, see you in the morning.

3:06:38Have a good night. I'll just be in my bed. Now, question. Can I walk you home? Question. Let's say this weekend she goes out and brings a dude home. You're hurt about it. You would hate it. Yeah, I'm sure I wouldn't like it. But there's no emotional connection yet. You know, I like her. And I think, you know, we just have a lot in common. Make it right. That's what happened with my friends. He was sick of seeing her with. DBs. Yeah, is it wrong that I'm thinking he should bring a girl around, not, like, hook up with her in front of the roommate? That's a game. That's a game, Sienna. Bring the girl around just to see if she's into it. Sienna. Oh, sometimes you have to play a little game. The kid games. I'm so anti-game. Jeez, I'm sorry, mom and dad. I'm team. Jeez, grandma and grandpa. Well, I'm the same way, Mikey.

3:07:35I'd rather just be direct and, you know. Taylor Swift just called and said, hey, Sienna, that's playing games. Quit playing games with my heart. I would wait a little bit longer and see if it's just a crush or if this is something where you're like, this is worth going for. Maybe just walk out of the shower with no clothes on one day. Do it. Dirty creep. Do it. See where you fall. See where you land. The heebie-jeebies. The heebie-jeebies. Thank you. One question mark. How awesome would that be if he did that? He'd be like, ah! What do you think about this? Great. I don't know if you've seen this. Now are you in? I think I'm calling the police. You dirty creep. You dirty creep. He accidentally leaves the door open when he's in the shower. It's a big deal. Lather up real good. God, I can't imagine living with a girl roommate. I never have. I never did that. I did. Mikey did it. I have. Yeah, I did. In fact, all I had was female roommates most of the time. Dude. Got along well with girls. I know you did, but what about certain things? There's certain things that a man does. Yeah, one of many. Yeah. Just lock your door or, like, go to the bed. Run the water. Run the water. Like, what do you do? I think I know what you're asking. Well, there's a few different things that a man does that maybe a woman doesn't know about. I grew up with brothers. It's like you do it when you do it. Yeah, Woods, what do you do? Sit on the porch?

3:09:01Creep. Creep. Creeper. But it's, you mean, you don't want to get busted. But like what? That, and then there's also, what if you're filing papers and then you're like, hot roommates, like, dad, what died in the bathroom? You're like, sorry. Just live with a dude, man. You know, that's, that's, because you know me and how like. You probably had your own place. If you had your own bathroom, probably okay. And you went to 7-Eleven, I guarantee you. No, dude, no, no. I don't remember what I did. Did you guys share a bathroom? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. I dated a guy who lived with a girl, and it was so weird. That's so weird. Well, wait a minute. In one situation, we shared a bathroom, and in the other situation, I had my own bathroom. But in the shared bathroom situation, I want to say it was not an issue. It wasn't an issue because I got up so early in the morning. You're probably on pretty different schedules. That's usually what makes that kind of situation work. I can clear a house. What if she's like, Jay! I don't know what he said. I don't want to know what he said. She has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and you're in there because the middle of the night is when you go to work. She just pushes the door open. Stuff like that happens.

3:10:19That can happen with another female roommate. That can happen with any roommate. I would lock the door. It doesn't matter if it's a male. If it's a male. Get out of here. But if it's your hot roommate, you're like, yeah, I'm in here. You're coming up with weird situations. It doesn't happen. It does. To me, I locked the door. I remember when I dated this guy, the girl did leave a little smell in the bathroom. And he came in and was like, oh, God, to me. And I was like, oh, I'm mortified for her. So you're the deuceless wonder then. You never had to drop deuce? No, I did. But I told you, we were on different schedules. You know? Just on different schedules. What do you mean grow up? That's weird. That's weird. Well, L.O.B. is like, she's the resident sort of. naturalist on the show who's like, it's just human. I mean, I wouldn't make somebody feel bad about having to go to the bathroom. We all do it. I wouldn't. Light a match. Oh, there's no doubt in my mind. If it smells, they know it smells. Trust me. The dudes living with girls that aren't their girlfriend or even somebody they're dating, I've just always found that very odd because I know I never could have done that. I could not have. Never. Why?

3:11:31For that reason? Just that reason, really. And then, like, what if you want to bring a girl home? Yeah, but also just, like... I had no problem in that department. I wasn't bringing any girls home. I just, like, even if you aren't that in on them, like, you still could be late at night, you know? Yeah, two in the morning. I'm not following this train of thought. I'm not here. Yeah, you guys are really locked in on that one. Let's play some Mitty Madness. What do we have as a prize, Jay? We have the Wigs album, and they're going to actually be appearing at our concert. Yeah. Yeah. Kill me, Caroline. So call us right now if you want to win. 570-1949. If you would like to win this prize. I love MIDI Madness. MIDI is like the old, awful-sounding keyboard. I love it so much that I wish that we got to play instead of the listeners because it's my favorite thing. I love it.

3:12:31All you have to do is give me the name of the song or who's singing it, and you'll win. If you want to win that wig CD, call us right now, 570-1949. That's our number. Obama was speaking somewhere, talking about his daughter, Malia, and how she's growing up in front of his eyes and he doesn't really like it. Kind of thing every dad must have to go through. teenager. Malia's just turned 12. At the back of the auditorium? Yeah. Say good luck. She's my... Even though she's 5'9", she's still my baby. 5'9". Wow. 12? Twice your size, Mike. Okay. All right. She really? 5'9"? 5'9", 12 years old. And she just got braces, which is good because, you know, she looks like a kid. She's starting to look too old for me.

3:13:46Tough for a dad, man. Dude, to have a girl. You're like, take the makeup off. Look like a kid. Think about these two. Oh. They're dads. What they went through. My dad was so mellow, though. He was? Yeah. Any guy I ever brought home, my dad was like, hey, what's up, man? Really? So friendly. I actually pulled the gun cleaning thing the other day. Maddie brought her new boyfriend home. It was a BB gun. I knew the guy, too. I was sitting there on the chair and I was cleaning the gun. He came in and he started laughing. It will give you a nasty whelp. Maddie's 22. Yeah, she is. She's still my baby. I'll put an eye out with this thing. Yeah. I will. Hey, Mr. Isbell. Mr. Isbell. if I get a little sideways, are you going to shoot some Coke cans? I'll bring a BB gun in, Mikey. Let's see. I bet it'll scare you. It's scary. Jenna's nine now, and she even is all about what she's wearing, and she has these little heel sandals. They're just little, little heels, and I'm just seeing her. I'm like, gosh. Jasper wants to ask her out. Adorable. I know. Let's see.

3:14:54M1 Jeff from Oceanside. You there? Yeah, hey, this is Jeff. Jeff, how you doing, buddy? Good, how you doing? Good. So you got a Wigs CD if you can give me the title or the artist of this band. Are you ready? I'm ready. Let's do it. Oh, wait. That's the real... Did I mess up? Did I mess up? Am I playing the wrong thing? I'm playing the wrong... I'm like, wow, that is good technology. That's pretty good MIDI, bro. Oh, man. I'm so sorry, dude. I messed up. That's the Black Keys. That's the Black Keys. You know what? I'm going to give you that even though I totally ruined it. I'm so dumb. Dumb E. Sorry, dude. You got a fresh five spot in that wallet? No kidding. I've made so many mistakes today. I owe about $100. We can get another one if you want. Kangaroo Court. Yeah, let's do... Well, I already gave you your Wix CD. Now, I got to give somebody else a chance. So, you got a CD. Hang on the line. Dumbo today. Dumbo.

3:16:12M1 Snowman from Carlsbad. You there? Yes. I was like, man, that sounds pretty good for a keyboard, doesn't it? An old-fashioned 1980s keyboard. I was like, that's a straight-up whistle, man. Yeah. All right, here we go, Snowman. Tell me title or artist on this. Here we go. Title or artist, Snowman? You got me. I want to sing it so bad. You know what it is, right, Woods? Hey, little sister, who's your superman? That's right. Yeah, dude. Billy Idol. That was White Wedding, bro. Sorry about that. Sorry, dude. M1AJ from Ramona, you there? Hello, Mikey Show. How you doing, man? Doing great. You guys are the best. Thank you, bro. Thank you. All right, so we're going to give you a MIDI song, and we'll give you 30 seconds of it. All we need is title or artist. Are you ready?

3:17:28Excellent. I am ready. Here we go. What is it? More Than Words by Extreme. You got it, buddy. Well done. Hang on the line, will you? Such a great song. Hang on the line, man. Let's see. We did this the other day, Woodsy and I. We like to do the fake interviews with a soundboard. Now, what are we talking about? Basically, what we do is we will take... A soundboard with a bunch of different sound bites from a particular person. And have a conversation with it. Entertain ourselves for hours doing it. It's a treat. And we tape it. If I could just be a fly on the wall. I know it. Can you guys do this? Yep. This is Tracy Morgan. Welcome to my guest here. I'm sitting. Why don't you tell everybody who you are?

3:18:36You're not Brian Fellows. He's playing around. Excuse me, a little something in my throat there. I guess you're right. I was right. It was something in my throat. I'm sorry about that. I'm sitting here right now with Tracy Morgan, and he is really, really a very funny comedian. He is not Brian Fellows. He's an imposter because I'm Brian Fellows. No, you're not Brian Fellows. You're Tracy Morgan. You played Brian Fellows on... Well, on Saturday Night Live, my producer Jay told me everything that you're going to be talking about today. And one of the things. He doesn't shut up. He hasn't said anything. He just told me about who you are. So no more about Jay. He's starting to make me mad. No, Jay, he says you're starting to make him mad. So don't freak out, Brian Fellow. Stop it. I haven't started yet, Tracy. Let me ask you something. That's crazy. That sounds crazy. I know it does. I know it does. Let's get to the real questions, okay? I'm going to kill that motherfucker. I haven't said anything about anybody yet. Let me talk. Last time I talked to you, by the way, I was at the old station, no longer there. Is that in Newport? No, here in San Diego. It's actually here in San Diego. But anyway, last time I talked to you, you were a delight to have on. Really? No, you were. You really were. Really? No, you really, really were. Don't do the Woods thing, by the way. Would I?

3:19:54You're doing the woods thing where he goes, would I, can I, really? Really? You are. Would I? Yes. Really? Yes. Would I? See, you're doing the woods thing. Really? All right, forget it. If you're not going to talk to me, I don't want to do it. Let's just get out of here. Besides that, we've got to get to a surf report. Bird's going to be on in a second. That bird is a liar. No, he's not. He doesn't say anything about that. Thank you. Thank you very much, Tracy Morgan. Is that a new boy? No. No, it isn't. No, it isn't, Tracy. So good. I could do this forever. I know. I love that one. Let's see. Why did Jesse James buy a $2 million mansion in his now, is it his ex-wife? Yeah. Sandra Bullock, ex-wife. He bought a $2 million mansion in her hometown? Of Austin, Texas. Really? Weird. He wants to be a little bit closer to her. Maybe he's trying to work on it and he's trying to get it. Sort it out or something. Yeah. Good luck. And I know that he wants to hide from all the media attention. So he wanted to move where better than where she would be. So he bought a $2 million mansion. Yeah, seven-acre estate with several swimming pools, all different styles, landscape gardens, a private movie cinema, home gym, and a six-car garage and workshop. $2 million goes a long way in Texas. Yeah. A long way. Yeah, movie theater. Yeah, and several swimming pools. Why do you need that many pools?

3:21:18Yeah, really? Why do you? Don't they have kids? Yeah. That's why he did. Yeah, he does. And then they. It's like when rich people have nine bathrooms. Do you just want to go pee pee somewhere that you've never gone pee pee? Several wings. Really? Absolutely. Tori Spelling said one time that she never even went in all the bathrooms at her dad's house. Of course not. You can't. Right? I mean, you probably can't. Yeah. Well, you can. Yeah, weird. But she was just like, I don't want to. Oh, a big house like that would creep me out. I'd love a big house like that. Oh, it'd be so rad. Oh, by the way, this reminded me, just starting to play this by the Marshall Tucker band. This reminded me. So when we were watching this 1970s movie that my wife had on Showtime the other day called Lifeguard. which to me looked like bad 70s porn. I go, what are you doing, babe, watching 70s porn? She goes, no, it's this movie that's on Showtime right now called Lifeguard with Sam Elliott. And the soundtrack to the movie, whenever they would do like a love scene or whatever in this 70s movie, it would sound like this. And I go, you know.

3:22:36You don't hear a lot of flute in soundtracks anymore. So happy. Very Woodstock-esque. The flute just made its way out of American culture, you know? So last week, right at the end of the week, this made news. Los Angeles had a serial killer called the Grim Sleeper who's been caught. And I'll tell you why he was called the Grim Sleeper next. How are these levels, friends? Call 570-1949. Or text 949mikey at gmail.com. More of the Mikey Show coming up in minutes on FM 94.9. The countdown is on. Already got my ticket. For the FM 94.9 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Presented by Miller Lite and Scion. August 29th at the Oceanside Pier Amphitheater on the main stage. Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros.

3:24:00Delta Spirit. 94.9 Stage. The Silent Comedy. Nervous Records. The Burning of Rome. And White Apple Tree. Get your tickets today for 30 bucks at FM949SD.com or IndependenceJam.com. No service charges. And a buck of the 30 goes to the About the Music Fund, which helps support music education in San Diego County Public Schools. August 29th. The FM949 Independence Jam Coastal Invasion. Supported by Honest Tea. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Baker. You now have a new Chase mortgage. Okay, so about this mortgage. It's going to pay us 1% cash back every year? It's the 1% mortgage cash back from Chase. 1% cash back every year into your checking account or applied to your principal. So it's kind of like the house is helping to pay for itself? Well, kind of. It could save you thousands over the life of your loan. Okay, when you say cash back, what exactly do you mean? Um, I mean it gives you cash back. Right, which is bank speak for... Getting cash back. Up to $500 per year.

3:25:02Hmm. And how exactly will we be getting this cash back? Automatically. Oh, I like that. Me too, but come on. Cash back on a mortgage? Banks don't do that. Chase does. The 1% mortgage cash back from Chase when you refinance or get a new Chase mortgage. Seriously, it's as good as it sounds. Stop into a branch today or go to chase.com slash mortgage cash back to see all the ways Chase lets you earn cash back. Chase what matters. All home lending products are subject to credit and property approval. The Chase checking account required. Other restrictions, limitations apply. JP Morgan, Chase McKinney, member of DIC. This summer, one company will change your world. Get ready for Cox Advanced TV with On Demand. Satellite and the phone company play rough. We charge extra for HD channels. But Cox Advanced TV comes through with hundreds of free HD viewing choices. A savings of up to $180 a year. Plus, On Demand, with a cast of thousands of movies and shows that start at the touch of a button. I can start them whenever I want. And featuring my primetime On Demand. You'll never miss your favorite primetime shows again. Now, TV works on your schedule. Cox Advanced TV starts for less than $25 per month. And that's...

3:26:11It's not an introductory price. Plus, ask how you can expand your movie library online and on demand with Epix and Utopia. Included free with the Cox Advanced TV Movie Pack. Order today and have it tomorrow with self-activation. For details, visit cox.com. Cox, your friend in the digital age. Limited time offer. Excludes required equipment rental and other fees. Some restrictions apply. Here we are. I still can't believe you found a last minute trip to Paris. This is incredible. Oh, we can see all the museums and I can't wait to go shopping. We can't really afford that. Which part? Actually, we can't afford to leave the hotel room. Don't open the minibar. It pays to check CheapFlights.com. With over 4 million flight deals arriving daily, you can go where you never thought you could and have money left over to actually enjoy it. Check first and never miss the chance to get a better deal. Hey, it's called CheapFlights.com for a reason. Allison moves to Aruba. Your dentist calls to reschedule. And grandma's motorcycling across the country. In life, nothing stays the same for long. But with the Palm Pre and the Palm Pixie, you'll always be up to date. These smartphones update your contacts and calendars as things change automatically. From Facebook to Google to that elusive dental appointment. Even grandma texting from the road. Get the Palm Pre and the Palm Pixie. Now available at AT&T, Verizon, and Sprint.

3:27:28Within wireless coverage area only. Required data plan not included. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. Don't really like to swim. Unlike most Latinos. Lauren. I got a little pepper up my nose. Had to sneeze. Wood. I can put down a 20 pack of chicken nuggets. No problem. Sienna. I'm like a little bit Irish. There's everything white I am. And Jay. No, I didn't cry. I'm a man. On FM 94.9. In Greenwich, can I get at a Boys Club of America? Coincidentally, you're now. Three-point favorites over the Cavaliers. Did you know that? It's warmer in Cleveland. Nice this weekend. Got a little sun. A little bit. A little bit. Nicer. Still working our way back to U-Bay. It's still not warm enough. We're still warming up. But give it a little time. We'll get there. What? What are you doing? It's a questionable kangaroo court comment. What? Well, U-Bay's a real place.

3:28:55Is it? It's not your day, Mike. It's not your day. I'm not ticking on all cylinders. Maybe go home and take a little nap after the show. Let me get a little nap today, pal. It took you like five minutes. It took me five minutes to find the mouse to be able to play. The sound effect. Did you really? Just kidding. We could do that for the whole break. Oh, boy. The Grim Sleeper. Yes. This is a guy that was in Los Angeles, right? Yeah, 57-year-old Lonnie Franklin Jr. He had committed many, many crimes back in the 80s, and he took a long break, a 14-year break, which is why he's called the Grim Sleeper, because he was out of...

3:29:56Yeah, he wouldn't kill people for big, long stretches of time. And he came back in 2002. And, I mean, burglary, assaults. There was 11 murders and one attempted murder charge. Just a serial killer in L.A. who has now been caught. Wow. Yes. On Saturday, he was at a community forum on all the murders and the city councilman and former police chief said law enforcement and police should not be faulted for their past handling of Franklin because he had been brought to court and been in jail numerous times for short periods of time because of burglary and stuff like that. And they didn't know about the murders and stuff. They didn't know him until now. You know what's interesting, too? He's African-American. Yeah, well. There's not a lot. No, there's not like serial killers. It's true. It doesn't fit the typical profile. It doesn't fit the typical profile. It's true. I thought, and this is the way my brain works. When I heard about this guy, I'm like, oh. Middle-aged white guy. Creepy white guy. That's exactly what I thought. Most serial killers are. I just saw the picture that Sienna held from the news story. I was staring at it like, okay, she's got the wrong story. That's not right. Only black dude serial killer that I can think of was the Atlanta child killer. Oh, yeah. Wayne something. Wayne something.

3:31:09But I was floored. There you go. A little observation. That's right. Let's see. So Jay says that he's not sure how long has to go by before you befriend an enemy. He says that you would think that 33 years would heal all wounds. But he says no. Yesterday, he got a friend request on Facebook from a guy who sucker punched him in the eighth grade. Yep. Sucker. Wow. He says he hit me right in the mouth when we were waiting for the coach to hand out awards. Why did he hit you? Why did he punch you? Well, I did walk up. He was having a conversation with this other guy. And I walked up and I said, the other guy was my friend. I was like, said something smart to my friend. And the guy was like, well, took offense to it. And he just popped me right in the mouth. He took offense to something you said to your friend? Right. What did you say, Jason? You know, I don't even remember what I said. I'm sure it was smart, Alec. Well, I mean, but. He didn't even say it to this guy. He said, what are you doing talking to that stupid idiot? No, no, no, no. Right. It was nothing like that. It was something like, I guess you think you're pretty funny or something, you know, like that. Right. He didn't like to be interrupted. Had a mouthful of braces. Did you really? I had to actually put my fingers in and go. Oh, my gosh. So they fought for a few minutes. Then the coach grabbed you. And.

3:32:36asked if you've gotten it all out of your systems. I said no. You did? Yeah, so he made his fight for the whole period. Wait, what? Oh, my God. I love that. That the coach did that? I love that. That's old school, dude. It was old school. That's old school. Only in Texas, dude. Only in Texas, yeah. Fight it out. Yeah. Finish this up, boys. Finish it out. He was a football coach. How about you let me parent? That's... Classic. That's what I'd say. Hey, you're on his turf. Yeah, exactly. You're on his time. No, no, no. Actually, I'm paying for it. You're going to do that. Really? Is it your turf? Don't you pay cops taxes? Yeah. You don't tell them what to do. It's not their turf. Isn't it? It's our turf. Those are the days when teachers had some power, and they didn't even have to call home. I mean, nothing. I got home, and I got pops. Pops from the coach, which he had this big paddle with holes all drilled in. Oh, yeah, the tape. He lifted me off the ground. He hit me so hard. And I got home, and my parents knew nothing about it until they saw my lips were bigger than could be. Now, what happened to you? 33 years, he has not accepted this friend request. No, I actually ignored him. Did you? You hit ignore. You clicked ignore? Yeah. I would have, too.

3:33:46I would have too. You would? 100%. I wouldn't have. I would have been a coward and been like, okay. Hey, buddy, how are you? I would have said okay. Hope you're well. I would have said okay, and I don't think it would have been cowardly. Let bygones be bygones. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, but. You were cut. No. Douche. You know I don't agree. 33 years. You know the kid doesn't agree with me. It depends on if there was a message attached. A lot of times people, if you just send the blind friend request, a lot of times I'm like, really? You really want to be my friend? Because you kind of hated me. All right. Let's just do it. Well. You think about it. To me, it goes back to that old deal of resentments like drinking rat poison and expecting the rat to die. I know. It's the worst. And you're talking to one of the masters. That carries it around in my gut. Here's the deal. I don't want to have to think about it every day. So if I see this clown posting up stuff. Yeah. Just hide his status. Hide his status. I've got nothing in my system at all for him. I feel nothing for him. There's no reason to be buddies with this clown. I don't want to be buddies with a guy that's got that kind of effect on you. Well, I'm not saying, you know.

3:34:49Go to Cheesecake Factory together and be besties. I wish I had the cojones to decline people. I don't because then I'm afraid they're going to send me a message and be like, what's your problem? Grow up. Be like, I see you haven't changed. I haven't ever declined anyone. Well, people don't know that you click ignore. Well, the only thing that they know is that they haven't been accepted yet. Do you want to know what happens? What happens? I know it. It'll say for a while, awaiting friend confirmation. Oh, yeah. And then if you go back to that person's page and it says add as friend again, it means they've ignored you. Oh, I see what you mean. Oh, that makes sense. See, I've never seen that. That makes sense. I've seen awaiting friend request. I've never seen it back to normal. Yep. It goes back to normal. I know because I just got to find. That explains one. Wait, what? ignored somebody for a long time and kept hitting ignore and they kept re-requesting me. Because the button kept coming up on their page to add them. We both know the person too, Jay. Oh, really? Yep. I thought it was me. No, it wasn't you. We're friends on Facebook. If you can go back and add them again and it doesn't say that it's awaiting, it means that they've ignored you. Yeah, and I realized, I was like, what am I doing?

3:36:08What am I doing? It's a little bit crazy. I'm like, I'm a grown man. Yeah, grown man. You're allowed to have whatever friends you want to have. Oh, yeah, you are. Whatever you don't want. I got a guy I wouldn't accept. Crazy. Yeah, that's you. I got a guy that's going to get the belt one day. Yeah, I immediately summoned in my head from high school that I'm like, I would never accept that person if they asked. Yep. Why? Because it was the one girl that was mean to me for I have no... ideal why in high school. I think it's because I dated her boyfriend before she did. The girls are like that. This is what I can tell you. The before bit. She was a senior. He was a sophomore. I was a freshman. I dated him first. She dated him after. Come on. This is a younger guy. Sounds like a country western song. Yeah. Get over it. I rarely get the squint from Sienna. Oh yeah. But you can see it. It's still there. Like alive and well. And that's what I mean. I'm nice to everyone. And this is a person that for no reason was mean to me. That's the deal. She was a senior and I was a freshman. I'm not saying there's like fairness in it. I mean, this guy sucker punched Jay. There's no fairness in that. The guy got sucker punched. And by the way, Sienna's absolutely right. You don't have any obligation to accept him. I'm saying.

3:37:26That my experience, what my experience has shown me is that the longer I hold out, the more it stays in my guts. When I give it up, when I finally give it up and I'm like, whatever, then it kind of goes, I like it. You know what I've done? I've accepted people and then got annoyed by seeing their status updates and been like, why did I accept this person? And then I go back and delete them. I've done that. I've never done that. I've gone back. Just hide them. There was a girl. Hide their updates. Just every once in a while that a friend of yours is friends with them and you see what they're up to and you're like, I don't care. Delete. There was a girl that all she did was do political stuff against Obama. Now, hey, I know about, I could talk intelligently on politics for about 45 seconds. That's all I know. Yeah. But I was I voted for Obama. So whatever. Every day, every 10 minutes, a new update. Look what he did. This article. And I was like, you're done. Delete. I was like, I can't do this anymore. Here's the thing. I know somebody that does that. And I'm not an Obama guy. And I'm a Republican and blah, blah, blah. Even I don't like that. Yeah. I don't like it. I just don't want to. I don't want to see it. It's like me during the Yankees playoffs. Nobody wants to be on Facebook when I'm on the play. Yeah. Just hide it. Just press hide. Yeah.

3:38:41Nope, not going to be his friend. Good for you, Jay. Stay strong, Jay. I'm proud of you. Jay? I'll never think about him again. Jay? That was your sucker punch right back at him. Maybe we go find him one day. Oh, I found him, trust me. Yeah. Take the belt to him. Break his legs. Hey, listen. Probably looks way older than you, too. I challenge the fact that he ain't going to think about him again. Well, he'll think about him again. I hadn't thought about it in 33 years. Really? Until now. I haven't yet. Driving in your car thinking. I'm going to get that son of a bitch. I swear I'm going to get him a lesson. The guy that plays Jim on The Office is getting married in real life. Got married. Oh, he got married? Yeah. And the person that he married is famous. Is Shane. Boy, you be the judge. This is The Mikey Show, FM 94.9. This is a special alert to all Americans who are behind on their taxes or haven't sent out prior year tax returns. If you owe back taxes, you're now eligible to settle that debt with the IRS for much less than what you owe. For free information, call National Tax Relief today, 1-800-652-4135. Millions of taxpayers are now legally eligible to settle their tax liability for a fraction of what they owe. Act now on this limited time opportunity or risk wage garnishment, bank levies, outrageous penalties.

3:40:09and property seizure. National tax relief partner firms specialize in tax settlements. When you call, you'll be matched with experts who are former IRS agents with insider knowledge of the system, which makes a substantial difference as they resolve your tax debt directly with the IRS. Call 1-800-652-4135. There's a limited amount of time that could be available to where the government will accept tax settlements, so you must act now. Call National Tax Relief today. 1-800-652-4135. 1-800-652-4135. Come on, San Diego. It's time to believe in your Padres. The second half of the season has begun. Your Padres are still in the fight. Get to some ball games. This weekend, they're taking on an NL West rival, the Arizona Diamondbacks, in a three-game homestand. Saturday, July 17th, the first 25,000 fans will take home a free Padres cap. Game starts at 535. Plenty of time to head out after the game. What are you guys waiting for? Padres baseball, $5 beers, Diego dogs. Do not wait. Get your tickets now and save $5 a ticket at Padres.com. Go Padres! BevMo presents the five-cent sale word, deal. In fact, if you look up the word deal in the dictionary, it says, buy one bottle, get the second for just five cents, e.g. BevMo's five-cent wine sale. Well, not really, but you get the point. Hurry! BevMo's five-cent sale is on. Choose for more than 200 great wines, like Ghostbine Chardonnay, Mezza Corona Chardonnay, and Gnarly Head Merlot. Club Bev members, buy one bottle, get the second for just five cents.

3:41:35Deal Moe and Save Moe at BevMo. Gaglione Brothers. Famous steaks and subs. Two locations. One in Sports Arena next to Wahoos. Two in Mission Beach next to a roller coaster. Number three coming soon at Friars Road and Mission Gorge. GaglioneBros.com. Joe, what's your favorite sandwich on the menu? Right now, it's the mushroom cheesesteak. And why? Dude, it's steak, onions, fresh mushrooms, melted cheese, the Amarosa Roll. That's it. Andy, what's yours? Sophia Loren, hot Italian. Why? Because I've had over 700 of them and they're still great. Good point. Tony, yours? Baja cheesesteak. It's always been the Baja cheesesteak. Why? Because it's got jalapenos in it, you know? Southern California, we need some spice. It's a cheesesteak with jalapenos. Who originated the Baja? Tony Gaglione. Oh, really? I thought I did. I know. Annie and I forgot to tell you I did. Gaglione Brothers. Famous stakes and subs. Two locations. One in Sports Arena next to Wahoos. Two in Mission Beach next to a roller coaster. Number three coming soon at Friars Road and Mission Gorge. GaglioneBros.com. When a dog sticks his head out the car window, it's an expression of freedom and sheer joy. At Navy Federal, we want you to have that same exuberance when buying a car.

3:42:45So we created the Power Auto Loan to give our members amazingly low rates, affordable payments, and easy, fast approvals. Talk about man's best friend. Navy Federal. We serve where you serve. Right now, Navy Federal is offering rates as low as 1.99% APR on new cars. To find out what you can save, visit NavyFederal.org or call 24-7. Rates based on credit worthiness, so your rate may differ. And now back to the Mikey Show with Mikey. I haven't seen a piece of broccoli in like eight years. Lauren. I accidentally had a piece of beef yesterday. Yes! Woods. The best movie ever made, Footloose. Zienna. Todd and I went to downtown LaHolla to Prospect. And Jay. I can make 100 hush puppies in like 30 seconds. On FM 94.9. Just for now. Tonight's 8 o'clock album on FM 94.9. Free energy. Stuck on nothing. John Krasinski. It's a guy that plays Jim on Office. He's married. You got married?

3:43:56You like him or something? I love him. Pam got married like a week before him, too. You mean the real? The real Pam on the show. He must have been out of jealousy. He gets on my nerves. Come on. He's too much of a goody-goody on that show. You don't like that dude? That's his character. His face, clown. He's a good actor. I always thought he was like the dude everybody would want to be friends with. I did at first. I loved him. And then over time, I was like, all right, Mr. Perfect. Like he doesn't like he'll goof around on his terms. But if somebody else does it, guys, we really need to focus. He's that guy, which I hate. It's his character. I hate that guy in the office because I worked in an office like that. I never saw. See, I stopped watching the office, so I never saw him bust into the we need to get. Oh, when he got Mr. Responsible? He did? Yes. I never saw that. What? When he became a manager and stuff? Oh. Yeah. He was weak. Boy, he married a dime. She's cute. So who did he marry in real life? Emily Blunt. Who's that? James Blunt's sister? I'm getting you guys a picture right now. They just got married in Italy. Nice. Yes, private ceremony. Okay, she's been... I know she was in Devil Wears Prada. Mike, maybe you saw it? Oh, was she the little... Mike, maybe you saw it. By the way. I saw it. Oh, straight here. Oh, God, she's beautiful. Never seen her. Here, Mike. You got it? Yeah.

3:45:15Never seen her. Oh, yeah. She's been a bunch of movies. She's a little angel. She's beautiful. She's always like the friend in a movie. Really? A little bender. Yeah, she's a pretty girl. Yeah, she's pretty. I'm in on them. They make a cute couple. Spinner. He's 30. She's 27. They began dating in 2008. Were engaged last August 2009. If you were going to marry Chelsea Clinton. Nope. And who I think grew up to be. Beautiful. I think Chelsea Clinton is really pretty. Really? Yeah. No, you're the one. She's got a horse at Apple through a fence kind of thing. Whoa. Corn cob through a knot hole. Yeah. Oh, wow. You guys are really nice. That is so mean. That was pretty cruel. What if someone said that about you? Oh, my gosh. I can take it. I get roasted every day. Well, if I was going to marry Chelsea Clinton, and I heard this clip of Bill Clinton responding to, what do you think about your... Future son-in-law. Uh-oh. I wonder if I would feel convinced with the way that he begins. I like my son-in-law. Again, again. Oh, wow. What? So, Bill, what do you think of your new future son-in-law? I like my son-in-law to be, and I admire him very much. He's a remarkable human being. Was he eating a sandwich or something and trying to swallow?

3:46:45My son. To me. Can you turn the cue card, please? Oh, my God. You missed. You dropped it. You got it upside down. Wow. If I was Chelsea, I would call him and be like, Dad, what were you thinking? I love Bill Clinton. I like my son-in-law to be, and I admire him very much. He's a remote. That is bad. Can you go back to the other cue card? Wow. It's upside down. Maybe what he wanted to say was, I love him, and then he was like, man, does that make me sound gay? A lot of guys are sad today, too, because Carrie Underwood just got married. She did? She's now Carrie Fisher. Who'd she marry? Carrie Fisher? Married Jenna Fisher. No. Is that Princess Leia? Mike Fisher. He's an Ottawa Senators. He's a hockey player. They got married on Saturday at Ritz-Carlton in Georgia. 250 people there. They're going on a honeymoon to Tahiti and Bora Bora. Dude, it's six months. This was a girl from, you know, Chakwahiki, Oklahoma. I know. Never been on an airplane. Where do you think the hockey player was from? Probably, yeah, someplace in Chakwahiki, Ottawa. Yeah. It just is so crazy.

3:48:01From the cornfields of Chakaweka. Hey, we all became, we all start somewhere. Yeah. Every celebrity you know was once just a little hometown girl. All of the guests, I read this, like Tim McGraw and Faith Hill were, of course, guests at the wedding. They didn't know where they were going. They arrived by private plane and then got in a limo and they had no idea where they were going until they got there. Mikey would not be comfortable with that. No. Yeah, because they didn't want it to be crashed by paparazzi. I'd like to know what's going on. That'll last. And you're like, what? But how exciting would that be? You're like, I'm going to Star's wedding. I don't know where I'm going. They're paying for everything. Did you just hear that? Did you hear what snuck by you? I heard him. I tried not to. What? You missed what Woods just did. He just snuck it out. He goes, oh, that'll last. I mean, come on. Let's call Spade a Spade, dude. What do you mean? He plays hockey 82 days a year. She does whatever the hell she does. Come on. I'll be so bummed out if that... 82 days a year as opposed to... I mean, 82 games a year. Yeah, but there's a lot of people that work a lot more than that. She seems like a girl that puts... Doesn't he think she puts her whole heart into a relationship? She seems like a nice girl. She also seems like a girl that if he messes up, she will carve her name to the side of his pretty little jacked up four-wheel drive. I know. Souped up. Souped up.

3:49:21You should get a Louisville Slugger to both headlights. Didn't they date for like a year, maybe? Six months? Yeah. They haven't been dating long. Good work. You might want to not leave your name written all over everything when the police come to investigate. Before he cheats, yeah. The vandalism that happened to the truck. Carrie. Carrie Underwood. Carrie. Autograph form. Hey, guys, I think I may have a lead on this one. I think I have an idea. Maybe we give somebody named Carrie Underwood a call. Don't you think any guy that ever dated her, like for sure this guy Mike Fisher said when they first started dating. So, did you actually really do that to some guy's car? 100%. No, because I guarantee she didn't write that. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, but he's got to think it because when you think Carrie Underwood, that's the first thing that comes to mind is that song. I'll slit your throat. I'll slit your throat. Shut your mouth. I'll just slit it right open. You better not touch my car, Carrie. Yeah, Hoyle, don't touch my car. No, this ain't Hoyle. This is Carrie Underwood. Sounds a lot like Hoyle. It does. What do you mean?

3:50:25It's Carrie Underwood. Hey, Carrie, tell us a joke. All right, your mama's so fat. No. It's Carrie Underwood just sitting around telling your mama's so fat jokes. I love Carrie Underwood. I do, too. He's stoked. She's way cuter than he is. She's beautiful, and she also comes across as a bit possessive. Just a little bit. It's all right. What is this song written by, like, Mark Smith? I know, from Nashville. Yeah. You don't think that she had anything to do with it? No. I don't think. I don't know. All right. Maybe she didn't. Tony Romo probably got his car beat up pretty nicely. Oh, I'm sure he did. And they broke up. He's broken a few hearts around old Big D. I know. Ew. Has he? Dude, yes. Jessica Simpson. Guy's a hound, by the way. Yeah, he's not cute. Come on. Oh, wow. You guys are just throwing out the cornflops. He's not cute. It's, uh, I don't know. I'm not attracted to at all. Here are the words when you're in a restaurant. You don't want any part of these in a restaurant. Don't you? I do. And I do. That's why they taste good. That's why I can't eat out for the next three months. Yeah. Because you will get fattening stuff. Yep. Like what? Hollandaise. Delicious. Scalloped. Oh, delicious. Butter, butter, butter. These are things that are bad. Am I going to say this wrong? Hollandaise, by the way, if you don't know.

3:51:56They put it over. They put it over. Eggs Benedict. You know what it is? Here's the recipe for hollandaise. It's butter. It's just straight butter and eggs, egg yolks, all blended together. It's basically egg yolk and butter. You can eat it on steak, too. It's delicious. It's good. I'm going to say this wrong, and you're going to correct me, Mike. Au gratin. Au gratin. Au gratin. Okay. Creamed. Don't go creamed. Smothered usually means it's in some sort of heavy sauce or gravy. Gravy. Delicious. It's pork gravy on a pork chop. It tastes so good. Alfredo. Scampi. That's going to kill me. Parmigiana. Hey, we went back to that place. I truly. Yeah. The Italian place in Encinitas and ordered this. Again? Yeah. You know me. Yeah. I get OCD about something. If I find something I really like, I'll go again and again and again. Uh-huh. Why does everything that tastes great. So bad for you. I don't know. Butter. The world is not fair. Butter. I love butter. Butter is the culprit. Breaded. Stay away from breaded. I don't eat that anyway. Carbonara. You don't eat breaded things, Woods? Try not to. I don't really like breaded stuff. Frito means fried. Mikey. Con queso means there's always a lot of cheese surrounding it. Re-fried, deep-fried, crispy.

3:53:19All of these things apply to my diet of Mexican life. Loaded, supreme, or grande. Mikey. Shut it. Chimichanga. Mikey. Now here's the Chinese takeout words. Went to Fidel's this weekend and ordered cactus. Weird. Cactus? Yeah. That's good. Nopales. Do you ever eat at home? No. No. I never do. Egg rolls on the Chinese takeout menu. Don't like those. Fried. Chow. What is chow? That's a dog, Mike. 20 pounds, real fat. Chow mein. Chow fun. Bad pan-fried noodles, but so good. It's fun. I mean, I like to eat it as much as the next guy. Sweet and sour. That's good, though. Egg foo young. Basically, no Chinese food. All that stuff is bad. You know, egg foo young, it's a scrambled egg with stuff in it. Delicious. It's an omelet smothered in gravy. It's gross. That's what it is. Is that it? Yep. Everything else, though, I'm sure is fat free. So good. Scalloped. Gosh darn it. Creamed. I'm dead. Smothered. Alfredo. It's all my favorites. Yeah, mine too. I'm going to miss you. We love you, Smothered. I love you so much. Al Groton. Let's see. The Alex's Lemonade Stand thing was a big hit this weekend. Yeah. Did really, really good. Did so good. And our station, FM949, was there. Yep.

3:54:45And raised $30,000. Nice. I listened to some of the broadcast. That's awesome. Yeah. They had, this is a house on Redwood Street in North Park, which is where they were. And this all started from a little girl, Alexandra Scott, who was four and battling cancer. And she announced that she wanted to set up a lemonade stand outside her house near Philly. So sweet. Philly. And wanted to use the money that she made to help doctors find a cure. So 10 years later, this thing is. you know, all over the place. It's raised more than $30 million for research. Wow. And just outside where our radio station was, Hillary broadcasted live. She's walked in right now. Hey, Hillary. Uh-huh. Several thousand San Diegans came by, bought lemonade, even though it wasn't sunny and stuff like that. And there was also Legoland tickets being passed out, face painting. What a great thing. Local bands playing. It's just a really cool event. So cool. Yeah. This one's good. This woman just gave birth to twins that were 10 pounds apiece. Yeah. That is insane. Poor woman. My bro was 10 pounds. Yeah, but two. I know, but 10-4. Oh my gosh. 10-4. That's a bowling ball. I know, dude. There are bowling balls that don't weigh that much. They're lighter, I know. Usually twins are between six and a half pounds to seven pounds per baby. Yeah. What were your twins? Seven, four, and six, one. Yeah, that's about right. Oh, big difference. Mm-hmm.

3:56:11Luke was a little one. Luke was a little one. Yeah. Don't worry about me. This woman, Cincinnati mother, earlier this week gave birth to a 10-pound, 2-ounce baby and a 9-pound, 9-ounce baby. Jeez. She didn't make the Guinness World Book of Records. Barely. Someone else, I guess. C-section? It didn't say. It didn't say. She better hope. Seriously. That's a lot of weight. The woman. There was, at my wedding, a pregnant woman who sang in the band. You guys probably remember. She just gave birth to an 11-pound woman at home. 11-pound woman. I mean, 11-pound baby at home. 11-pound woman is actually a small woman. A skinny woman. Yeah, she, I'm saying the woman, my mom just told me that. And I was like, oh my gosh, a girl. Oh, can you imagine how humiliating when you're older and you're like, you know, I'm going to tirade when I was born? Yeah, but I... Most people I know that are really small weighed more. Yeah. Really? Uh-huh. Yeah, I probably weighed two pounds. I don't know if there's a direct correlation. No, but a woman in Britain. Seven pounds. How does a woman do that? And at home. At home? That's no C-section. That's no epidural. No, it's a home birth. Yeah. Over that. Well, you don't have to worry about it. You're not a woman. Can ladies just stop with that stuff, man?

3:57:35Go to the doctor, will you? Go to the doctor. There's nothing wrong with home birth. Hillary, did you have a natural birth? Nothing wrong with home birth. No, I... Went to the doctor. I was kind of like, you know, we'll see how it goes, but I was wide open to getting painkillers. That being said, I have nothing but respect for women. Me too. They do it at home. Me too. And B, do it without pain relievers in the hospital. It's scary. However a woman does it, it doesn't matter as long as the baby's healthy. True. I just feel for you ladies. Go to the doctor. Get a shot. Put the shot in the back. Oh, my goodness. Just kick the bee's nest, pal. Hey, I'm just saying it to people. Kim was all natural the whole way through. My mom, too. It was just, I was like, well, I'll see how long I can go. And my labor came on really fast and was very short. And as soon. As we got to the hospital, I was like, put it in me. That's how I'm going to be. Oh, my God. 100%. Oh, I'm a wimp. Todd's terrified. He's like, please give her the epidural. Just give her the epidural. Maybe give her the epidural now. We didn't have time with Luke and Ryan. Didn't have time. Ryan just was born. Never heard my wife scream like that. Holy Toledo. And then Luke had to be C-sectioned. Wow.

3:58:51Now the second voice comes so quickly. She had one of each. She had natural and C-section. Holy smokes, man. Not fun. It's a tough woman you got there. Not fun. Hillary, what do you got coming up? I grabbed postal service, so I'm going to play something from their record Give Up, some Rogue Wave, some brand new Arcade Fire, Them Crooked Vultures. Nice. Yeah. Nice. All right. Let's see. Let's do this then. We'll make a plan. We'll make an appointment with one another right now that we will get back together tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. Reconvene then. Lovely and talented Hillary is up next, and we will see you tomorrow. Mikey shows out later.